"Okay, you guys, I need your help" "Somewhere in this store is the elusive 5-Pocket Bootleg in Crane distressed wash" "I will also accept it in Dark Fusion or Bruise" "Okay, you guys, fan out And remember whoever finds it gets to borrow it once a month when I'm bloated" "Once a month" "Oh, crap it's Joanne" "One of the students from my old acting class" "What's the big deal?" "Go say hi" "I can't Things with the class didn't end well" "I took six months of checks from everyone and never showed up again" "Well, if they're stupid enough to pay you they deserve to be taken advantage of" " I know, right?" " Yeah" "Jack?" "Oh, Joanne, I didn't see you How are you" "I just booked a healthy pet commercial I'm the new face of heartworm" ""You mean checking Fluffy's poo could have saved her life?"" "That's my line" "Well, I am glad you remembered everything we worked on" "How could I forget?" "Last week I had a breakthrough" "I was playing Laura in The Glass Menagerie and I looked so good in my bikini that the gentleman caller stayed" "I believe when I left, we were working on "Caroline in the City."" "But hold on did you say last week?" "Yes, in Tuesday's master class Wendell is amazing" "You couldn't have named a better successor" "Well, I never named a successor" "And if I had, I wouldn't have named him Wendell" "Well, yeah, he's been teaching the McFarland Method ever since you left" "What?" "!" "This Wendell is teaching the McFarland Method?" "He's stealing from me!" "This is identity theft, the most heinous of crimes!" " Here are your sweaters, Mr. Truman" " Thank you" "We just need a signature" "Oh, my God, I think I see them All the way" " All the way up on top" "Okay, I'll get a salesperson" "No." "No, no I hate salespeople" "What, I do all the work and they get all the credit?" "When they ask me at the register who helped me I always say no one" "Even if they did" "That money comes out of my pocket" "No, it doesn't." "Shut up, and give me a boost Come on" "You sure this is a good idea?" "Yeah, it's fine It's like the climbing wall at the gym" "You mean the one you've never tried because you claim the handgrips smell farty?" "Oh, got it!" "Oh, shoot It's moving." "Grace, let go of the jeans and climb down" "I can't, it's my size!" " Let go!" " Never!" "It looks like you found them in Bruise" "Àª" "Àª  ±×" "Àª  ±×·¹ÀÌ½º" "Àª  ±×·¹ÀÌ½º" "Àª  ±×·¹ÀÌ½º" "Àª  ±×·¹ÀÌ½º" "Àª  ±×·¹ÀÌ½º" "Àª  ±×·¹ÀÌ½º 7x22 From Queer to Erernity (´ëº"ÃâÃ³:" "Rob Durfee )" "Hi, Will." "I hope you didn't worry too much but I'm gonna be okay" "Yeah, I know you're okay" "You landed in a bin of cashmere sweaters" "And bounced gently when you hit it" "I think you even giggled like Snuggles the bear" "I'm a fall survivor" "If anything, you should feel guilty for not having fallen" "Why aren't you taking this seriously?" "Because you're wearing a ridiculous "I Love Lucy" neck brace" "All right, so I may be overreacting a little bitBut it was scary" "I realized that one day I might die" "Yeah, and one day you might get the morning gunk out of your eye before noon but I'm not holding my breath for that either" "Will, I'm serious" "I haven't made any of the major decisions" "I mean, who will I give my things to?" "What will happen to my business?" "Where will I be buried?" "Well, your business will go under" "Your things are my things so I'll just take them back" "And I always figured I'd have you stuffed and keep you by the front door to prop up umbrellas" "I wanna do a will" "Yeah, well, get in line behind all the other ladies!" "No" "You wanna do this, it's fine Drop by the office tomorrow" "Good God this thing itches" "I shouldn't have done that Now I gotta hold my head up myself" ""Wendell Schacter"?" "Pretty" "I wonder what his real name was before he glammed it up for Hollywood" "Oh, what a noble mind is here or thrown The court" "Stop." "Just stop What the hell is that?" "Clearly you don't understand Shakespeare" "Now, Ophelia may be insane and suicidal but first and foremost she's a pretty girl" "You're in a sea of troubles Why aren't you wearing a bikini?" "How can I drum this into your heads?" "Acting is not about emotion!" "It's about two things" "Making pleasant faces and moving to the right spot" "That is the very essence of the McFarland Method" "Acting is attracting" "That's my catch phrase Well, that and ma ma se, ma ma sa ma ma coo sa" "Honey, my catch phrase is 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case you figure it out" "All right, actors let's take five" "That'll give you a chance to purchase my McFarland method books, DVDs, mouse pads" "I only have large men's t-shirts, and girls I'm afraid I'm out of the baby tee's" "Honey, I had baby tee's" "Then I put plant food on 'em and now look" "Excuse me, Sir could you please sign my book?" "Sure, what's your name?" "My name is Jack...!" "McFarland" "I know" "Hello, Jack" "How did you get your hands on the McFarland method?" "I studied with you for two semesters" "No, you didn't I would remember that" "I sat in the second row between Russell and Edwin" "Okay, Russell, Edwin please take your shirts off" "You in the middle why don't you just button up?" "Thank you Just...all the way" "And then one day, you didn't show up So I took over" "Oh, and then one day I showed up so you can leave" "I'm confused Who's teaching the class now?" "Now you see what you've done?" "You've broken the cardinal rule of acting" "You've confused the hot guy" "I thought the cardinal rule of acting was when I see you with your wife" "I act like we're not sleeping together" "You've used my method to have sex with women?" "Shame!" "I'm afraid I'm gonna have to ask you to leave" "This is my class now And there's nothing you can do about it" "That's where you're wrong, Schacter" "Do you really think that Jack McFarland would be stupid enough not to trademark his McFarland Method?" "Because if you think that, you're right" "I am that stupid" "Karen, let's go!" "Let's start with the money" "So, who do you wanna leave it to?" "I suppose you wanna leave a substantial amount to charity" "No" "Of course, I'd like you to get some" "Thank you I'm very touched" "How much would you like to leave me?" "Gosh, I don't know How much did you leave me?" "I'm not really comfortable disclosing that" "Just leave what's in your heart" "You know, the heart you're apparently keeping along with all your other organs even though they could save a life" "I don't want some stranger peeing with my kidney" "Come on, Will." "Tell me We tell each other everything" "No, a will is a very personal thing" "Nobody's seen it Except for my mother" "But that's only 'cause I asked her to proof it" "God, can you imagine the embarrassment of having a will with typos?" "I'd die!" "Again" "Your mother knows?" "Come on, tell me!" "No." "Stop Leave it alone" "Come on Let's get on with this" "I got an insane amount of work to do today" "Is that the sandwich cart?" "Egg salad!" "I called it, egg salad!" "Connie, it's Will" "Can you get Will's mom on the phone?" "Make yourself comfortable, Grace I'll be there in a minute" "Please don't sit down until I get there" "Oh, Grace, have you seen that new show "Desperate Housewives"?" "My friends and I play this drinking game when we watch it" "Yeah, one shot every five minutes" "Oh, look at that You don't even need a TV" "Yeah, and sometimes I don't even have a friend over" "So what brings you to this neck of the woods?" "I've been thinking about death Do you ever think about death?" "I was forced to this summer when our sweet little Biscuit died" "Oh, I heard he was a wonderful dog" "He was a character, that one" "He was just 25 pounds full of love" "Unless you weren't white, then watch out" "I don't know I guess I must be thinking about it 'cause I'm doing my will now" "Now I know why you're here You want me to proof it?" "Yeah, okay, I'll get my red pen and my half glasses" "No." "No" "That's not why I'm here" "This is a little awkward, but" "I would like to leave Will some money" "And I don't want him to be embarrassed if I leave him more than he left me" "So how much did he leave me?" "What's your game, Grace Adler?" "Nothing I'm just curious" "I would never betray my son's confidence" "He told me he was gay years ago" "I still haven't told anyone" "Marilyn, I understand" "We can still chat about other things though, can't we?" "I suppose" " More wine?" " Yeah" " thank you" " You're welcome" "honey, are you still mad about that acting class?" "Why do you care anyway?" "You're a big executive at Out TV now" "You got a briefcase, an office big-boy underpants" "I guess because it's my class" "And I should be the only one allowed to teach it" "Well, honey then go and get it" "If you want something that much you shouldn't let anything stand in your way" "Dammit, you're right!" "How do I get it, though?" "Because he won't give it up" "He's clinging to it like he's Kirstie Alley and the class is a shred of dignity" "Well, honey, you've got to give him something that he wants more than that class" "A balloon ride over Taye Diggs' house?" "No, honey something he wants" "I mean, the reason that people become acting teachers is that they're failed actors" "I mean, look at you....ta Hagen" "I mean, all the teachers would give it up in a minute if they got the right part" "But I can't get him to be an actor again" "Honey, I have connections I can get him a part" "Fantastic!" "But wait" "If you had connections why have you never gotten me a part?" "Honey, I said I had connections not superpowers" "So I've decided on a number for the amount of money I wanna leave you" "Oh, great, let me just fill in the.... $1400" "And if you go first it'll be the same 1400 I got from you" "How did you...." "Wait" "Lavender perfume masking the scent of an afternoon spritzer" "The way you're standing up straight as if somebody told you to stop slouching" "You've been to see my mother!" "Will, I don't--I don't get it You're--you're rich" "And I don't mean in that stupid "It's a Wonderful Life" kinda way where you have a lot of friends You have money" "This is not about my money, Grace This is a breach of trust" "I can't believe that you went to my mother" "God, I can't even talk to you right now!" "This never would have happened if you had just told me in the first place" "All right, actors, take your seats We have a lot of work today" "Elaine, are you gaining weight?" "I'm pregnant" "Well, congratulations" "You just went from leading lady to funny friend" "Uh, excuse me Mr. Dennehy" "I am not Brian Dennehy" "Oh..." "Right, and I'm not Betty Boop" "Hey, what if I were to tell you that you are going to walk out of here right now and never teach this class again?" "I don't think so" "There's nothing that would make me leave my students" "Even if I were able to get you the acting job of your dreams?" "King Lear on Broadway?" "Close!" "Banging on a garbage can lid in the road company of Stomp" "Well, I hardly think that...." "Oh, I could get used to this" "Goodbye, class" "Where's he going?" "Does that mean I shouldn't go to the Radisson after class?" "Students, I have good news" "Allow me to introduce the creator of the McFarland Method, Mr. Jack" "McFarland" "I know!" "Yes, it's me!" "And from now on this class will be run the McFarland way" "Gentlemen, up front Ladies, take the broken chairs" "Will, don't turn this around" "You're the one that did something hurtful to me" "You want more money, Grace fine, you can have more money" "There's 300 bucks in the back of my" "Sock drawer" "Now it's 20 and a frozen yogurt punch card" "How could you do that?" "How could you leave me such a measly amount of money?" "Is that how little I mean to you?" " Of course not" " Then, why?" "You wanna know?" "You really wanna know?" "Yes" "Because 15 years ago when I wrote that will, that's all the money I had" "Wait, you haven't updated your will in 15 years?" "Will, you update your Barry Manilow fan site, web thing every day" "I'm telling you, Grace it's called the "Manilow-down."" "And people depend on it" "I tried to rewrite that will so many times" "Every time I sit down to make a list of everything I have" "I just feel like I have nothing" "Will, you've got everything" "You've got your health, friends, family" "You just made partner" "And most importantly of all you still have all your hair" "It's just, the guy I am now... is not the guy I was hoping to be when I wrote that will in law school" " Oh, come on." " No, I'm serious" "I never thought I'd be just another corporate lawyer with a lot of stuff" "I wanted to accomplish... more" "Will, you are young" "Whatever it is you want to accomplish in your life there is still plenty of time to do it" " You think?" " I know" "Come on Accomplish us a couple of hot dogs" "You okay, honey?" "No, I'm not." "I thought I wanted to teach this class" "But now that I have it again it feels like a step backwards" "Maybe you're just moving on" "You're showing growth" "Oh, sorry" "You know, I don't miss teaching" "I guess I just miss people looking at me" "I miss being the center of attention Is that wrong?" "No, honey, that's just who you are" "And you'll find something You can't help but shine" "Oh, Karen" "But how am I gonna tell all my students I'm abandoning them again?" "Don't." "Just cash their checks and then never come back" "That's a good idea" "There isn't hope of any one of them ever having an actual career anyway we're still here" "And scene" "Hey" "In honor of us not getting hit by that bus" "I thought that I would treat us to lunch" "Wow, you are happy to be alive" "Just so you know I have finished both of our wills" "Really?" "Wow" "And I'm leaving you more than you're leaving me" "A lot more" "You know, after what happened to us I realize that I just" "I need to start making some changes in my life" "So you know what I did?" "I bought this bag" "Shouldn't have Can't afford it" "Came out of your inheritance" "But really wanted it" "So I've decided I'm gonna start giving myself gifts" "That's great Good for you, sweetie" "Thank you" "I made some changes too" "Oh, great" "I quit my job" "Excuse me?" "I quit my job" "I want to do something meaningful with my life" "So I quit" "Where you taking me for lunch?" "Will, you just dropped a bombshell on me" "Don't you think you should pay now?" "Á♪°ÇºÎ ¹èÆ÷ / ¼öÁ¤ ±ÝÁö ¹èÆ÷½Ã ÀÚ¸· ÃâÃ³¸¦ ²À ¹àÇô ÁÖ¼¼¿ä thanks"