"Now on Top Gear" "There are 256 million cars on American roads, but which one is the worst?" "We're about to find out." "Wood: [ Laughing ] Oh, he almost flips it. what you drive says a lot about you." "Some cars are undeniably cool, while others less so." "But which is the least cool car in the country?" "To find out, we each spent $1,500 and bought the worst car we could find for each other." "Then we'd compete over which one of us could make the most out of the crap car we'd been given." "This is easily the worst car ever made." "It is disgusting." "It is cheap." "This is the ugliest vehicle ever made." "And what makes it sweeter is I know the person I bought this for hates this vehicle." "Hates it." "Adam's gonna love this car." "No." "He is going to absolutely hate this car." "But it's perfect for him." "It is so uncool." "It's one of those cars that just doesn't even realize how uncool it really is." "[ Tires screech ]" "If you're over 60, you've already guessed the car that I've chosen for Adam." "It's a 1977 Mustang II." "And it is the most uncool car ever made." "It's a Mustang." "It's supposed to be a muscle car." "And this is everything that a muscle car shouldn't be." "It's slow, it's ugly, it's 4-cylinders, 4-speed, takes over 14 seconds to get to 60 miles an hour." "What were they thinking?" "Adam's gonna hate it." "[ Horn honks ]" "[ Laughs ]" "[ Laughs ]" "Nice." "2001 Pontiac Aztek." "The uncoolest car ever." "Wow." "This personifies everything that was wrong with G.M. in the late '90s." "Designed by committee." "You know the committee that designed this wasn't fired." " They were executed." " It's terrible." "The interior..." "the knobs are this big so you can turn them with gloves, but they look like cartoon knobs." "And it comes with a tent." " A tent!" " A tent?" " Yes." "'Cause you're embarrassed to park this in your driveway, so you have to live in the tent." " Okay, it's pretty widely known the Aztek is uncool." " Yes." "But it is not as uncool as a Mustang II, your new ride." "You're an evil man." "I thought you'd like this." "It's a muscle car." "It's an atrophied muscle car." " What have I ever done to you?" " You picked me on an Aztek." "I didn't pick that for you." "That's for Rutledge." "That means Rutledge picked my car." "[ Laughs ] I don't even want to look at it." " Don't turn around." " I don't want to look at it." "Don't turn around." "[ Horn honks ]" "[ Laughs ] It does have a horn." " That says something." " It is justice." "Yes." "No!" "[ Laughs ]" "Feast your eyes on a 1988 Yugo GV." "This is the lowest of the low of the models." " Is it a real Yugo?" " Oh, yeah." "I left the state to punish you with this." "Look at those 13s." "I've got bicycle tires that are bigger than these." "Look at the style on that thing." "I mean, if the reputation of this car isn't uncool enough, you in it just [Whistles]" "The bad news for me is that I see two awful cars over there, and all I can think is, "please, God, don't make me drive an Aztek."" "Okay, look." "I could have got you a Neon." "That would have been actually better than..." " Aw, really?" " I couldn't find one." "I looked." "I couldn't find one." "No, the Aztek is way less cool." "Aw, God." "Okay." "Undeniably we've amassed in one place three of the most uncool cars ever built." "So, what are we doing with them?" "Please tell us." "All right." "Let's see here." "So, your first challenge will be a hot lap at Willow Springs raceway 60 miles from here." "Fastest lap wins." "Wait." "We have to drive 60 miles?" "In these cars." "And then..." "Be seen..." " Yeah." " ..." "Publicly on the way." " Yeah." " A Yugo on the racetrack." "Yeah." "Could be a first." "[ Laughs ]" "Let's hit the road." "This is so shameful." "An 89-horsepower, turd-brown, creepy-gym-teacher Mustang II." "[Beep] You, Tanner Foust." "How do you make a Yugo go 60 miles an hour?" "Push it off a cliff." "Wood:" "Honestly, I am ashamed to drive this thing." "I just hate it so much." "Pontiac made the Aztek from 2001 to 2005, and they needed to sell 150,000 of them to break even." "And they failed." "In 2007, there were still some new '05s on the lot." "This car may not be that cool, but it's way cooler than the Yugo." "And that car is super dangerous." "It has no power." "There's no way you could ever look cool in a Yugo." "It's just an impossibility." "Not only would we have to drive these cars, but we were also going to an auction to find out how much each was worth." "So, somehow we had to make these crappy cars we were driving cool." "That was gonna be a struggle with my Yugo, but I'm a glass-half-full kind of guy." "So I was gonna concentrate on the positives." "Okay, sure, the Yugo's been written up in basically any automotive publication as being one of the top worst cars ever built." "That's undeniable." "There are only about 10,000 of these things roaming the streets of the U.S." "It's almost like a collector's item." "The fact that Rutledge had to go across the country to buy this car either means that they just aren't running anymore or nobody wants to sell theirs." "I'm thinking that it's the latter." "But could Adam come up with anything positive for his turd-brown Mustang II?" "At least this is a Mustang." "It's not a cool Mustang, but a Mustang." "It's like Khloé Kardashian." "Enh, she ain't the best Kardashian, but at least she's a Kardashian." "Rut, who did you buy that Yugo from?" "A very peculiar man in Las Vegas." "Did he have an accent, wear black socks with sandals?" "I think the socks and sandals might be more of an Aztek owner." "I think the Aztek owner is gonna be wearing, like, sandals with white socks under them pulled up to just below the knees, short shorts with 12 pockets, and a tank top." "Well, who would own a Mustang II, then?" "He's retired from the insurance industry." "He lives with his mom, and she lives with her mom." "He keeps a locked door in the basement that no one's gonna see until he dies." "And then the mom is gonna deny knowing anything ever went on down there." "[ Laughs ]" "We arrived at our first challenge..." "Ferrara:" "You've got to be kidding me." "...To find that we wouldn't just be racing each other." "The track was hosting an exotic car day." "There were $300,000 Lamborghinis, quarter-million-dollar Ferraris, tuned-up BMWs, Lotuses, high-end Mercedes, and us." "This will be one of the most dangerous things, probably, that any of us have done, okay." "Because there will be cars with 100-mile-an-hour closing speeds on the straightaway." "I'll probably be on fire and not be able to tell." "I already could tell oil's leaking onto the back-left tire." "Gasoline's leaking onto the back-right tire, which, by the way, is where the exhaust is." "There's a lot that can go wrong." "I don't think either of you have the fear that I do, which is rolling this piece of [Bleep] Over." "You'll be fine." "[ Laughs ]" "I mean, you wouldn't..." "[ Laughing ] That was genuine hate." "Yeah." "I mean, look at it." "The only way you could make this thing more attractive would be to roll it." "I'm gonna get on the track." "Ferrara:" "Either way, we had a challenge to complete." "We had to brave danger and shame to set the fastest time we could." "We'd also be trying not to ruin the day for the owners of the cool cars, who paid thousands of dollars to be there." "I'll just gonna be lucky if I don't die in this." "I think I've done a 1:21 around this track." "I don't think the Yugo's gonna go quite that quick." "This is gonna be embarrassing." "There it is." "Let's go." "Okay, Aztek." "You can do this." "We're timing the car here." "All right, downshifting." "After that, we have to downshift up the hill." "Wood:" "Driving an Aztek on the track was like trying to jello-wrestle with a bear." "It just has so much body roll, and it's got on-road/off-road tires." "And over in the turd-mobile," "Adam was having sand kicked in his face." "Yeah, yeah." "Show-off." "Holy cow, you went with the green, huh?" "Lovely." "I got about 30 cars behind me." "Oh, I hope that's a different lotus." "Otherwise I've been lapped." "I've been lapped." "Oh, there's a Ferrari on my ass!" "[ Tires screech ]" "Okay." "And I'm off the course." "Whoopsie." "Black flag." "Black flag." "Foust:" "Rutledge got black-flagged, which meant he was disqualified." "So it was down to Adam and me." "I wasn't about to let the Yugo get out-cooled by a faux Mustang." "Go on!" "Get out of here!" "There they go." "Kind of like a brake check in front of a Yugo, though." "Whoa!" "That guy almost just crashed into me!" "All I had to do was complete this lap to win, but I hadn't counted on the Yugo's legendary design quality, which didn't extend to the gas cap." "This is awful." "I am spewing gas all over the place." "Kiss my Aztek!" "Ferrara:" "We each try to prove that our crap cars are cool, and Tanner finds out just how fast a $300,000 supercar can go." "Oh, my God." "This is scary!" "Foust:" "America has over 2.7 million miles of paved roads, and there are a lot of cars out there using them." "But which is the worst?" "We'd each bought the least cool car we could find and given them to each other." "Our first challenge was seeing whose car was slowest." "Oh, there's a Ferrari on my ass!" "[ Tires screech ]" "Rut hadn't even completed a lap before being disqualified." "Halfway through the last lap, my Yugo started showing a small design flaw." "This is awful." "I am spewing gas all over the place." "So they black-flagged me, giving Adam the win by default." "[ Ferrara laughs ]" "Nan:" "Whoo-hoo!" "Man #2:" "Yeah!" "Mustang!" "[ Horn honks ]" "[ Applause ]" "You and I, we should be ashamed of ourselves letting what is undoubtedly the worst pretend muscle car ever built win anything." "Hey, you bought it for me." "And at least my car wasn't spewing gas all over the track." "Yeah, that's true." "It's still not as bad as the Yugo." "Okay, first of all, the Yugo is very rare and very exotic." "So is typhoid." "[ Laughter ] Whatever." "I got a chance to drive another very rare and exotic car over in britain recently." "I assume it was faster than the Yugo." "Yes, it is." "In fact, the American manufacturer hasn't found the top speed yet, so I went over to England to see if I could help them out." "This is England, a place where you can still legally marry sheep and home to the world's oldest reigning queen," "Sir Elton John." "Not too far from the bustling streets of London..." "[ Engine revs ] ...There's a car maker that claims to have crafted a vehicle capable of giving you one of the purest driving experiences imaginable." "And by pure, I mean it doesn't have the technology to help you be a better driver." "It can do zero to 60 in 3.7 seconds." "It weighs the same as a mini Cooper but has 520 more horsepower." "But what it doesn't have is a confirmed top speed." "[ Tires screech ] That was reason enough for me to hop on a plane." "This is the Noble M600." "If you like super cars and you've got the means, well, you can run down to the Ferrari dealership and get yourself a 458 or maybe get the latest Lamborghini, the Aventador." "But if your taste runs on the extra exotic..." "What if you want something that will leave those somewhat common Italian super cars in the dust, something that only 15 people will be able to buy this year and that claims to be the best driver car ever built?" "Well, then you're gonna need one of these." "If you've never heard of Noble, you're not alone." "It's a small company in a little town outside London, and only a dozen or so people work there." "Even though it's based in england, it's owned by an American, Peter Dyson, who crossed the Atlantic to build his dream." "Its chassis is made of stainless steel and aluminum, and its body is pure carbon fiber." "It has an incredible 650-horsepower, mid-mounted V-8 engine developed by Yamaha." "But what it hasn't got is ABS, stability control, paddle shifters, power brakes, and it only has a wisp of traction control." "So basically it's one of the fastest cars around with almost no safety features." "But all that nothing adds up to something." "[ Tires screeching ]" "It's got a stronger power-to-weight ratio than a Bugatti Veyron..." "[ Engine revs ]" "Which is better than most motorcycles." "The Noble does this insane speed so effortlessly you don't realize how fast you're going." "And that..." "[ Tires screech ]" "Can be flat-out dangerous." "This is not a car for the timid." "It's not much heavier than Lindsay Lohan, but it's 10 times as volatile." "Noble has stripped the M600 down to the bare essentials, and it feels like a car that's only a 5-point safety harness away from going racing." "But they didn't get so focused with speed and performance that they ignored the interior." "Although minimal, you can tell that they paid attention to the details." "So, basically the $330,000 you pay for a Noble gets you one of the purest driving experiences around." "[ Tires screech ]" "[ Engine revs ]" "To compare, a Ferrari 458..." "Pretty much the pinnacle of supercar engineering..." "Has formula one technology that can basically make you 10 times the driver that you really are, where this has the formula one technology of about 1973." "But the great thing about that is that that allows you to be 100% of the driver you really are." "[ Tires screeching ]" "If you really want to test the limits of your inner driver, you can take what little control the Noble has completely away." "All right." "Maybe we should turn the traction control off." "The traction-control switch is actually a missile launch button from a British fighter jet..." "A not-so-subtle reminder of what kind of hell is about to be unleashed." "[ Tires screech ]" "Good God." "This thing takes so much concentration." "But that's what you want in a supercar, 'cause you want it to push your limits as a driver." "[ Engine revs ]" "[ Laughing ] Yeah!" "That was a 110-mile-an-hour drift." "That's the problem with a car like this, is the speeds are just so insane." "[ Engine revving ]" "Whoa!" "[ Tires screeching ]" "[ Sighs ] All right." "Let's put that traction-control button [breathes deeply] Back on." "[ Sighs ]" "I was quickly getting a feel for how unforgiving the M600 could be." "And one thing was clear..." "If I was gonna push this car to its top speed," "I'd be keeping the traction control on." "But how does all this function compare to other super cars, like the Lamborghini Gallardo Superleggera, packed with 570 horses and capable of zero to 60 in a blistering 3.4 seconds?" "Then there's the Audi R8 v10 with 525 horsepower and a top speed of almost 200 miles an hour." "To find out how the Noble stacked up," "I put it against them in a 1/2-mile drag race." "Here's the challenge." "I've got two all-wheel-drive cars." "The v10 Audi is ridiculously fast, and the Superleggera is one of the fastest zero-to-60 cars I've ever driven." "Both of these cars are probably gonna take me on the launch." "I'm gonna have to really focus on not getting too much wheel spin in first, second, or on this surface, even in third gear." "But once we get to fourth gear, the hammer is down." "[ Engines revving ]" "Man: 3, 2, 1, go!" "[ Engines rev ]" "Foust:" "Whoa!" "Come on!" "The Superleggera is so fast, but I think I got it now!" "Yes!" "See you!" "That is power-to-weight ratio right there." "Unbelievable." "That Superleggara has won just about every drag-racing competition that we have entered it in." "But it wasn't fast enough to beat the Noble." "The M600 had proven itself to be a member of the supercar elite." "[ Engine revving ]" "It's rare." "It's exotic." "It has insane performance capabilities." "But there's one thing the M600 still doesn't have..." "A confirmed top speed." "My goal was to see how fast I could get the Noble to go." "To do this, I was gonna need a lot of space, so I went to a retired u." "S. Air force base The perfect location for an American-owned supercar built in england." "Noble estimates the M600 will do 225 miles an hour, but they've only tested it to 205." "So we're gonna see how close to that 225 number we can get." "We've got 1.7 miles of track." "Now, the most important part for me is the braking point." "With no abs, traction control, or stability control, if I lock up the brakes at over 200 miles an hour, I'm done." "Having had some time behind the wheel of the M600," "I knew that if I was gonna be trying to hit speeds of over 200 miles an hour," "I would need to make one minor safety adjustment." "Don't wear skater shoes." "I've had to go barefoot in this thing just to fit." "[ Engine revving ]" "[ Tires screeching ]" "All right." "This corner is critical for maximum speed on the straight here." "I barely made it through that turn." "That's 160 miles an hour right there." "I have to admit, my little pinkie toe is getting stuck in the pedal." "170." "180." "It's starting to get loud." "Whoa!" "190!" "Starting to get a little loud again!" "200!" "Loud vibration!" "205!" "It's moving all over the place!" "Oh, my God." "This is scary!" "215... that's all she's got!" "Slow it down." "Slow it down." "[ Laughs ]" "[ Blows ]" "Survived." "Survived." "Go!" "Ferrara:" "Our worst-car challenge continues." "Wood:" "Oh, come on!" "Come on!" "And later, we find out if anyone would actually buy our hunks of junk." "Eric Clapton owned this car." "Eric Clapton owned this car." "And he is a celebrity." "Welcome back to "top gear."" "Now, before the break," "Tanner drove the Noble M600 215 miles an hour." "[ Crowd cheers ]" "Very impressive, my friend." "But I was more impressed with the fact that you were barefoot." "Yeah." "[ Laughter ]" "What was that like?" "That was flat-out scary." "That was like strapping a rocket onto a race car." "Those aren't even street legal in the U.S yet 'cause they haven't passed all the safety regulations." "They're, like, basically too dangerous for America." "Oh, so it's just like your Yugo, then." "[ Laughter ]" "No, it's nothing like the Yugo, actually." "It's just like it." "I mean, that's a car that shouldn't be allowed in this country." "I think the Yugo is easily America's worst car." "Mm-hmm." "Yep." "The Yugo is way better than the Mustang II and the Aztek." "That's all that matters." " Really?" " Okay." " Yeah." "Well, let's find out." "Foust:" "After Adam's victory on the track, it was time to put the Mustang II back in its place." "And what better way to prove its crappiness than to challenge him to another race?" "Only this time, I'd be on foot." " When you cross this..." "Ferrara:" " Okay." "That's the winner." "[ Engine turns over ]" " Lift them up!" "Foust:" " Let's go!" "Bring down!" "Come on, Tanner." "Rev your engine." "Go, "vroom, vroom!" "Vroom, vroom!"" "You got to arch your back a little bit." "Kick it up." "Kick it up a little more." "All right, here we go." "60 feet." "In 5... 4... 3, 2... 1." "Go!" "[ Engine revs ] [ Laughs ]" "Foust:" "Yeah!" "You did it!" "Wow." "That car is so uncool that I beat it." "That is pitiful, Adam." "[ Car door creaks ]" "I don't run very often." "This is terrible." "Yeah." "Just terrible." "And you know what?" "I blame you 'cause you picked this car." "I did." "It is the epitome of uncool." " I am so happy." " Actually, no, it's not." "That is." "You're a stunt driver." "Do a stunt in that car." "I dare you." "I mean, stunts are cool." "If you could do a stunt, in theory, that would make your car slightly less uncool." "In stunt driving, you've got, you know, roll cages and stuff." "Yeah." "What can you do in that thing?" "I mean, I could do, like, a reverse 180 maybe without it flipping over." "Can you do it blindfolded?" "Sure." "Wood:" "With Adam's Mustang II shamed, it was time to do the same thing to Tanner's Yugo, and I knew he wouldn't be able to turn down the chance to show off." "Wood:" "Okay, you ready?" "Foust:" " Ready." "Ferrara:" " All right, let's go." "[ Engine revs ]" "Here he goes." "3 miles an hour, topped out in reverse." "[ Laughing ] Oh, he almost flips it." "Wow." "[ Tires screech ]" "What do you think?" "Is that a blindfold, or did you join a gang?" "[ Chuckling ] Yeah." "This little thing is nimble as can be." "Yeah." "In any other car, it would be cool." "But in a Yugo, it's just kind of, "mm."" "But in that, it was just awful." "You said, "do a stunt." It did the stunt." "You lost your race." " You haven't done anything in the Aztek." " That's true." "You say it's got all this off-road/on-road capability." "Why don't you climb that mountain?" " Yeah, with your tent up." " With your tent up." "The goofy back tent?" "Yeah." "That's fine." "That's fine." "[ Laughs ] Really?" "I love watching him fail." "I headed off to prepare my tent." "I didn't think it was possible for the Aztek to look any worse." "It's caught in the tail." "How the hell is this gonna work?" "But I was wrong." "It looked different in the brochures." "There you go." "This is an alternate version of it." "Wood:" "Thanks a lot." "All right." "I'll see you guys at the top." "The car was supposed to be versatile, and I think this is gonna prove it's fairly versatile, you know?" "It may be kind of cool after all." "Don't let me die in an Aztek." "Okay!" "3, 2, 1, go!" "Kiss my Aztek!" "Come on!" "Come on!" "Foust:" "Put that 185 horsepower to good use." "Hold on, baby!" "Hold on!" "[ Undercarriage thunks ]" "Oh, come on!" "[ Laughs ]" "Oh [Bleep] [Bleep]" "Ferrara:" "Look at him." "He's either brave or an idiot." "Get a little speed up." "There it is." "A little speed." "A little speed." "Failure is so epic." "There he goes." "Come on!" "He's going for it!" "Is he gonna make it?" "Oh, come on!" "Come on!" "Come on!" "[ Laughing ]" "Oh, looks like a good spot to camp." "I think I might be stuck." "Let me check." "[ Tires scraping ]" "Yep, I'm stuck." "Rut, pack up your tent." "Meet us back at the track." "Pbht." "Pbht." "Come on." "Not cool." "I think I killed it." "Foust:" "We were finally on our way to the auction to find out which of our cars would get the most cash." "So far, Rutledge's Aztek was looking like it could be the worst car in America after being disqualified on the track and failing to show any of its supposed off-road capability." "But it would all come down to this." "Who could get the most cash for their car?" "People must just think that it's like a comedy of errors here." "They're seeing three of the ugliest cars they've ever seen before all at once." "Yeah, this is like the ugly parade through this neighborhood." "It's visual overload, for sure." ""Oh, my God." "There's a Yugo." ""Oh, my God!" "There's a... what is that Ford?" "Oh, geez, and an Aztek!"" "[ Laughs ]" "On the way, we agreed we could each spend $1,000 on our cars overnight, using our failures as inspiration." "Ferrara:" "Coming up, we modify our cars in an effort to sell them at auction." "[ Indistinct shouting, auctioneer calling ]" "America is car-obsessed." "And people judge you by what you drive." "But what is the worst car in the country?" "We were trying to find out." "The Yugo, Aztek, and Mustang II had all proven to be equally crappy through the first couple challenges." "So we decided to modify them before we tried to auction them off." "[ Engine revs ]" "[ Tires screech ]" "Huh?" "You know you love this thing." "It's now an official stunt car." "A pocket rocket, as it were." "Completely gutted the interior, got a racing seat, racing steering wheel, roll cage, and the five-point harness." "It's nice you had time to just knock off the loose rust up here." "I just gave it a quick buff on the top." " Did you do anything to the motor?" " Put in a high-flow exhaust." "You just cut it off, I think." "[ Laughing ] You just cut it, didn't you?" "Functional hood pins on a Yugo." "I do like the rally stripes on the headlights." "I'll give you credit for that." "Ferrara:" "You mean the electrical tape?" "Yeah." "It's a style." "You want to know what the best modification you did was?" "A gas cap." "I think less is more sometimes." " Like that Mustang." " Really?" "I didn't think it could get any creepier." "This is a shelby paint job." "[ Laughing ] What?" "Okay, I ran out of white." "So I had to make..." "I had to go with silver." "Foust:" "It's got some nice metallic in it." "Yeah." "It sparkles in the sun." "It'll attract the eye." "Okay, so if it wasn't creepy enough, you put a skull shift knob." "Wood:" "Little day of the dead seat covers in there." "Ferrara:" "And I got a skull shifter." "Did you take the two off the back?" "Yes." "It's marketing." "No." "Look at this." "But there's still a hole" " where it used to sit." " That's all right." "When they come around to look at it," "I'll just put my thumb on it like that." "You might confuse somebody." "Mustang!" "The stripes and then the shelby..." "It's a shelby-ish." "I think a serious collector would love this car, and we only need one, my friend." "We only need one." "What have you done?" "I did exactly what G.M. should have done and make the Aztek cool." "I cut out the fenders here, painted the plastic black." "Some beadlocker..." "Well, it's the beadlocker look." "Look at this brush guard." "This looks like something you would go, like, attack a herd of zombies with." " Yes!" "Ferrara:" " Yes." "It's the zombie killer." "It's from "Shaun of the dead."" "Tinted the gigantic ugly turn signals and the taillights." "I got my spare tire on the roof." "How does it drive with these tires and everything?" "It seems okay?" "Oh, pretty good." " It's still..." " Does it rub?" "It rubs a touch." "As long as no one drives it while they're turning." "Wow." "It's great in a straight line, though." "Gentlemen, let's regroup." "The cars are here." "It is auction day." "So, whoever sells them for the most money wins." "Let's get them up there and let people check them out." "All right." "Ferrara:" "With only 20 minutes before our cars were up for auction, it was time to drum up some interest." " You know who owned this car?" "Man:" " No." "Who?" "Jimmy Page." "Wow." "Jimmy Page!" "He bought it on the '77 Led Zeppelin tour in the United States." "He bought this car." "When John Bonham died, he couldn't look at it anymore." "It's barely broken in with 140,000, 130,000..." "Mid-hundreds." "Is it original paint job?" "Yeah." "It was originally done yesterday." "Adam told me that somebody had died in your vehicle." "What the hell?" "!" "Once you get this, you're opening the door to weekend racing." "This is a career for somebody waiting to happen." "[ Laughs ]" "What would you think is a deal to take this home today?" "12." "$1,200?" "12." "$12,000?" "Thousand, yeah." "$12,000." "Yeah." "Yes." "Yes." "I don't know why." "I thought you were gonna say $1,200." "No." "I thought you meant for the tires." "[ Laughs ] That's what I meant." "[ Cheers and applause ]" "Now it's time for "Big Star, Small Car."" "And you know our big star from the "Harold and Kumar" movies." " Kal Penn!" " Thank you." "[ Crowd cheering ] Thanks for having me." " It's good to be here." " I'm glad you're here." "Thank you, guys." " All right." "So, you got the car." " Yes." " Have you ever been on a track before?" " No, never." "Ah." "So, this will be your first time." " You excited?" " I'm very excited." "All right." "How do you think you're gonna do?" "I think I'm not gonna do too well." "You know, I don't drive stick." " You don't drive stick?" " No." "No." "[ Laughter ]" "That's the only ridicule I get?" "Then that's not so bad." "[ Laughter ]" "I thought I was gonna be fully ridiculed more than that." "Well, let's see how it goes." "All right." "Mount up." "Good luck, my friend." "Yeah, thank you." "[ Crowd cheers ]" "All right, the time to beat is 1:39, set by "True Blood's" Stephen Moyer." "Let's see what Kal can do." "All right." "He's heading into the first turn gracefully." "Whoops." "Too close." "Aah." "It's not bad." "This is a first..." "Fourth gear into the chicane." "Ooh [Bleep]" "The man's a trendsetter." "All right, now you've got to pay attention to this part." "The teardrop's pretty tricky." "All right, he's in the right gear." "[ Tires screech ]" "Didn't sound great." "That wasn't terrible." "All right, we're at the halfway point." "This is my favorite part right here." "Kal is dead center in the middle of the board." "If he keeps this pace up, he will beat Adam Levine." "[Bleep] Ow!" "Oh!" "Don't do that." "I totally jinxed that." "And by jinxed, he means dropping the transmission, which is never a good idea heading into cameraman's corner." "He's fighting Suzuki the whole way." "All right, now get on it." "[ Engine revs ] Aah!" "Oh." "I love the smell of burning clutch in the morning." "He's across the line!" "[ Cheers and applause ]" "Kal Penn!" "Come on up, Kal." " Good to see you." " You, too." "Thank you, guys." "Man." "Yeah?" "Oh, man." "[ Laughs ]" "That was amazing." "Now, were you scared?" "Were you excited?" " What was your experience?" " I was excited." "I wouldn't say scared." "More nervous." " Right." " I don't drive stick." "I don't know how to drive stick." "I would have loved to..." "Well, you know now, right?" "Oh, I definitely know now." "[ Laughter ]" "I absolutely know now." "And I drive a Prius in real life, so this was awesome." "Rea..." "[ Audience murmuring ]" "Hey!" "Hey!" "Hey!" "[ Audience boos ] Oh, really?" "You like dependence on foreign oil?" "[ Laughter ]" "So, you drive a Pri..." "Ah." "Who hurt you that you're punishing yourself?" " Why do you do that?" " I like it, actually." "I mean, look, I live 5 miles from where I work." "Right." "Uh-huh." "And it takes about an hour to get to work." "Mm-hmm." "[ Laughter ]" "So, you know." "Why am I gonna buy something that goes fast?" "[ Laughter ]" "You know, I was amazed to find out that you're a Nascar fan." "Yeah." "Yeah, yeah." "And you drive a Prius?" "I do." "[ Laughter ]" "It's crazy, right?" "I just got into it the last year, year and half or so." "I'd had a lot of folks I know in DC that were into it." "Right." "And I started watching and just kind of learning about, you know, how you actually put 42 cars on a track going 200 miles an hour." "Yeah." "And I thought about that when I was out here today." "Like, I was out there..." "and you're on it just alone." "Yeah, one dude alone, I can barely hold it together." "Now, was the stig helpful?" "Very helpful." "Yeah." "Look, I sat down in the car." "Mm-hmm." "I looked at him, and I was like, "hey, man." "Uh, so, I don't know how to drive stick."" "[ Laughter ]" "And you can't see his face or his facial expressions or anything." "But you just see the helmet move." "[ Laughter ]" "That's when I knew there might be a problem." "You heard his eyes roll when you said that." "I heard it." "Yes." "If, indeed, he has eyes." "We have no idea." "We don't know." "No." "The "Harold and Kumar" movies, they're great." "And how do you prepare for your role?" "[ Laughs ]" "You know, the same way that you prepare for anything else." "I remember we shot the first "Harold and Kumar"..." "Both in the first and third one," "Kumar performs gunshot surgery." "Mm-hmm." "And so, I spent, like, two days at the UCLA medical center library going over gunshot wounds." "Yeah, that's true." "But when I said "prepare," I meant the weed." "[ Laughter ] I didn't..." "Look, here's the deal." "This always disappoints people." "Right." "I don't smoke weed in real life." " You don't?" " No." "And I..." "Hey!" "That's twice!" "[ Laughter ]" "That's twice." "Your dependence on foreign weed?" "[ Laughter ]" "Let me ask you this." "Do you eat White Castle?" "I don't." "So, here, this is..." "look!" "I don't..." "I'll bet you're not even Indian." "It's true." "[ Laughter ]" "Doo-doo-doo-doo!" "[ Laughs ]" "So, let me ask you..." "What has more power, the Prius or the Suzuki?" "Uh, what kind of power?" "[ Laughter ]" "Were you in that Suzuki just going, "whee"?" "I think..." "Here's the deal." "I think the Suzuki could accelerate faster." "Uh-huh." "I think that's fair." "Okay." "But my baby..." "You know, my baby can go longer." "[ Laughter ] You know?" "That was so creepy." "[ Laughter ]" " I loved that." " You loved it!" "That was great." ""My baby can go longer." You know." "Nicely done." "Prius does rule." "You're defending your woman." "I like that." "That's right." "[ Laughter ] Always." "All right." "Well, where do you think you ended up?" "In what area do you think you..." "Oh, man." "Um..." "No, no, no." "Not up there." "Not in the 1:30s or the 1:50..." "Somewhere in the 1:40 range." "I'm gonna say probably between Dominic and Ed Burns somewhere." "Wow." "You're narrowing it down." "You've got laser sight." "[ Laughter ]" "Right around the Ty Burrell mark." " So, you're in this area, you think." " I think so." "Okay." "You want to see his time?" "[ Audience cheering ]" "Kal Penn, who learned to drive a stick this morning..." "Correct." "[ Laughter ]" "Did it in one-forty..." "[ Audience oohs ] 9.9." "Ohh." "Ah." "[ Cheers and applause ]" "Cool." "Kal Penn!" "[ Cheers and applause ]" "That's not bad." "Wood:" "Coming up, we find out whose car sells for the most cash." "I've never sold a Yugo," "I don't think, in my life." "The road ways of America are packed with millions and millions of cars." "But which is the worst?" "We were trying to find out." "So far, the gas cap had flown off my Yugo, and Rutledge's Aztek had been an overall disaster." "Wood:" "Okay." "And I'm off the course." "It would all come down to how much they sold for at auction." "[ Auctioneer calling ] Sold, $6,000!" "You bought it." "Number 10-15. $6,000." "[ Engine revs ]" "My supercool, rally-ready Yugo was up first." "We'd each spent a total of 2,500 bucks." "I was looking to make a big profit, beat out the Aztek and Adam's creepy 'tang II." "I've never sold a Yugo, I don't think, in my life." "It's an '88 Yugo Zastiva." "It's been professionally raced, and let's just sell it exempt on the miles." "[ Calling ] On the '88 Yugo." "Who will give $100?" "$200?" "[ Calling ]" "Last call." "Now $500. $500." "$600." "I got $600." "[ Calling ]" "And $650." "[ Calling ]" "Last call." "[ Speaks Spanish ]" "The wheels are worth more than that!" "$650!" "It's a Yugo!" "At $600, you go, I go, we all go. $600." "[ Calling ]" "Last call." "[ Calling ]" "Last call." "Sold!" "$600, you bought her." "$600." "How much did you get?" "I don't want to talk about it." "Ferrara:" "Tanner was done." "He lost 1,900 bucks on his communist getaway car." "The Yugo was looking certain to be crowned the worst car." "Come on!" "$600?" "!" "Really?" "It's a racecar!" "It has a roll cage in it." "It was time for some bona fide American muscle..." "Kind of." "1977 Ford Mustang." "And it's kind of shelby-ish, isn't it?" "What is "shelby-ish"?" "It's a racecar." "How's that?" "And it may have been a celebrity-owned classic, but we're not sure which celebrity..." "Eric Clapton owned this car." "Eric Clapton owned this car." "And he is a celebrity." "And how about it?" "Here we go." "[ Calling ] 3 grand." "$2,500." "Start me out." "And $2,000." "[ Calling ]" "Last call." "[ Calling ]" "1,000 bucks!" "$1,100." "Last call!" "[ Calling ]" "Hot rod!" "$1,050!" "[ Speaking Spanish ]" "[ Calling ]" "Somebody died in it." "I hear somebody died in it." "Shut up." "[ Calling ]" "Anybody else?" "Sold!" "$1,000." "What bidder number?" "Number 502." "1,000 bucks." "Yes!" "Number 502." "Yes!" "$1,000." "I might have lost 1,500 bucks, but I was in the lead." "Now all I needed was Rut to fail." "This is an off-road vehicle." "Man, right here." "Look at this." "Wood:" "Yeah!" "Yeah!" "That looks tough!" "Really cool, man." "It's a tough one, guys, I'll tell you." "And the tent is included." "You pop the top, it's got a tent back in the back. [ Horn honks ]" "I'll tell you, it's a neat deal." "It's really cool, guys, and that is green, the color of money." "[ Calling ] 5 grand." "[ Calling ] 4 grand." "I got $2,000." "[ Calling ]" "Are you [Bleep] kidding me?" "[ Calling ]" "Last call!" "The wheels are worth that!" "And $4,200." "Last call." "[ Calling ]" "Anybody else?" "Sold!" "$4,100." "Number 1056." "Wood:" "I had done the impossible and made my Aztek cool." "Congratulations, my friend." "Holy [Bleep] Tanner and his Yugo came in last when he got 400 bucks less than Adam." "What is wrong with you?" "But Tanner doesn't like losing." "Hey." "We've got a question." "Yeah." "There's a guy named, uh, Tammer?" "Tammer?" " Tanner." "Yeah." " Tanner?" " Is that his name?" " I don't know." "He came up to me, and they were saying that Eric Clapton didn't own this car that I bought." "You can't listen to him." "That's the guy trying to sell a Yugo." "Yeah, but I don't understand something." "On the auction block, they announced that." "Yeah." "I assumed that that was true." "I bid the car based upon that." " It's actually true." "Wood:" " Yeah, that's not cool, man." "Can you prove that Eric Clapton owned that car?" "Can you prove he didn't?" "Eric Clapton owned that car." "Don't listen to Tanner." "Can you get me proof?" "Can you get me a signature?" "I'm with you, man." "That's [Bleep]" "Go pitch your tent." "You don't have to take that." "I've been doing this many years." "Go pitch your..." "I'll be right back." "I'll be right back." "Eric Clapton, my ass." "Go pitch your tent." "I can't." "I sold it." "Just so you know, let me make a phone call." "And I will be right back." "If you can't get that, I want $500 off." "[ Cheers and applause ]" "So, basically, let me get this straight." "You lied." "And you sold your car under false pretenses, which I'm pretty sure is illegal in the state of California." "Doesn't count." "I'm not from the state of California." "[ Laughter ] And I didn't exactly lie." "You did lie." "Eric Clapton?" "I bet he's never even seen a Mustang II." "What I want to know is, did you give the buyer his money back?" "Let's just say we came to an arrangement." "An arrangement where you sold it for less than the Yugo?" "True or false?" "Because I made 1,600 bucks, so clearly I'm the winner." "It's down to you two." "Did you sell it for less money than the Yugo?" "Not the first time." "Ohh, that's it." "You know what?" "The Mustang II is the worst car in America." "That's all we got time for."