"The court found Toomas Sinijärv guilty under Penal Code (PC) article 121 and sentenced him to 18 months in prison." "How much has changed after that in your life?" " I don't know." "Mostly the vantage point, now everyone is looking down on me." "...found guilty also under PC article 120, as a cumulative punishment to sentence him 18 months in prison." "Do you feel now that it's you who is bullied?" " I don't think, at least I don't feel I have changed." "Yet I wouldn't let to be bullied." "I don't think I would be bullied." "How much do you regret what you have done?" "Thinking back now, I've lately given much thought about it, when you're in this situation, it seems like a joke to you, or you don't think or feel as much as the other person would." "I believe it has been pretty tough time for the two of them." "So you regret it?" " Yes, of course." "Under PC article 74 section 1 to rule the suspended sentence" "not to be fulfilled and decree the probation three years." "You'll spend life in a wheelchair, is that punishment for you?" "THE CLASS:" "LIFE AFTER" "PROBATION" "So good." "Well." "Let's see how we're going to get you into the van." "Do you...?" "Maybe I'll lift the legs." "Could you take the chair..." "Are you comfortable?" " I'm OK." "Mom, what's that new secretive job you've got?" "We decided that your mom is not going to go to work any more." "Why?" " Why what?" " Why is she going to stay at home?" "You need help, at first." " I'll manage." "Well, let's see." " I was just thinking when I get myself my own apartment" "I have to get by myself." " By that time you've got a wife." "Oh Christ, what's so heavy you've got here, some weights?" " Let it be, I can take them later." "Very good." "Hello." " Hello." "The mirror's so down low?" "Where are the frames?" " I have not had time to finish it." "It goes through quite easily." "You've got a new theme here." "Where did you put my door?" "This is not some temporary thing." "Saara, listen, doesn't it seem to you that he's a bit weird?" "What kind of question is that?" "I mean, in too good mood." "Son of positive." "He's happy to be home." "That's not what I mean." " Then what?" "I think he doesn't show us what is really going on." "I don't know about these things, Ants." "Toomas will know." "So you did notice it, right?" " Have you got anything to iron?" "Huh?" "No... there's no need." "That's some nifty gadget, I could use it every day." "Yes, but talk to your parents first, it does cost something." "Do I have to pay for this?" "Oh, we'd have wanted to ask, and I hope it's understandable, that you wouldn't talk about his past to anybody at all." "We'd then have to tell it to all the teachers." "Do you think that others don't already know it?" "Your guess is as good as mine." "For our sake we could try it." " We'd really appreciate it." "Oh, sorry." "All of you need to come to the graffiti place." "Hello!" "We're short of staff at field." "C'mon, it's today." "Get over it, there's no problem." " Be cool." "Have you seen the design of our class?" "It was quite cool." "Getter, I talked with one of them and he's eager to join." "But I need someone to come and help speak to them with me." "Now who hasn't gone out yet?" "Sille, Kristiina, anybody?" "Getter should go." "She's the bat at it." "This is not my private project." " All could contribute equally." "Boys never feel like doing anything." " What?" "We just finished the song and will soon complete the film." "One of you has to go and talk to the sixth graders, because they don't listen to women." "The schedule." "Where's Kairi?" "Alright, Robin and I will go." "Where to?" " To talk to the fucking sixers." "Hey, what a vocab, jerk." "You are to pay fine 10 kroons." "Hello." " Hi." "Are you Toomas?" "I'm Getter." " Hello..." "There's been a shooting threat in some Tartu school." " What?" "Would someone Google this!" "Yesterday evening Southern police prefecture received an anonymous tip about unnamed person planning to go on shooting spree this morning in Tartu Commercial Gymnasium." "Police take..." " Hello!" "Not that I would like to obtrude my modest person on you but we do have a class here." "No doubt, its important news and we'll get back to it later, but there's another news item." "As some of you may see, and few have perhaps noticed, we have a new pupil in class." "His name is Toomas." "Hello!" "Would you be kind to come here, tell us a bit about yourself." "Toomas Sinijärv, 17 years." "I don't know, what else?" "Well, I don't know anything about your past life." "Do you live in Tallinn?" " Yes." "Have you been in a wheelchair for the whole life?" " Martin..." "Some five months." "What school did you go to before?" " Some four-story building." "What happened?" " Car crash." "Have you got yourself a girlfriend?" "Toomas, please return to your seat now." "With your kind permission we're moving on to our common favourite subject." " Don't tell us it's physics." "Tomorrow, be prepared." "Nobody will be harassed, everyone will get a say." "Pages 20-22, and make sure..." "What part of town you live in?" " Nõmme." "Already wanting to visit him!" " No, I was thinking is it far." "Hey, you sure look familiar, have we met before?" "How did this happen to you?" "Unless, of course, you want to talk about it." "I crashed my dad's car into a tree." "How do you use a bathroom?" " Martin!" "Rather it's whether you feel okay to move around here." "If there are any problems we will all help." " Yes, we will." "School violence is bad" "Hi." "Here, our project against school violence." "Didn't you get seasick?" " I feel quite sick..." "What are you doing on Friday?" " Friday, wait..." "Not much." "I was thinking throwing a party at my place." "Care to come?" "I think so." "Toomas!" " She's from my class." "What are you doing here?" "Gosh, you look so good." "Are they from your class?" " Yes." "What's SVIB?" "Some campaign against school violence." " What?" "I was visiting you in hospital few times, a long time ago." "How long do you have to be in a wheelchair?" "My whole life." " Good heavens!" "Listen, none of them know I'm from the class where the shooting took place, I ask you not to talk about it." "What?" " Whatever..." "Hey, Toomas." "There's a party at Kairi's place on Friday." "No, I'm also doing fine, thanks for asking." "There's a curb stone!" "Are you alright?" "Did you get hurt?" " I don't know." "Good you didn't ram the road." " Knee abrasion, call ambulance." "There's no need, just lift me back in the chair." "Come help." "How fast did you go?" " Not fast enough," "I should try again." "Be careful, boys." "Honestly, we didn't want to kill you." "I wouldn't be too sure." "I promise you are going to graduate from this school alive." "Ouch!" "Just kidding." "I don't feel anything." "Here, some more from this edge." "Don't worry, it's okay." "I don't want to hurt you." " Give it to me, I'll clean it." "It should be cleaned now." " Are you looking at the scar?" "Go ahead, you can touch it." "Mom, lately you don't smile at all, you used to be a barrel of laughs, ifs sad this way." "Please give me some time." "Thomas Mann, ,Death in Venice"" "Toomas!" "Oh, sod." "Are you still awake?" "I saw your light on." "Would you give me a shelter?" " What do you mean?" "I fell out with dad big time." "I don't want to go home." "Can I stay?" " I guess so." "What's the issue with your dad?" "He's a control freak, wants to know word-by-word what I told to this probation officer, plus I've got this community work." "You do?" " Yeah, well, me, Thea and all who were at the beach." "Could I make tea?" " When folks hear steps, they'll freak out." "I'll just take water." " Go quietly." "I haven't been to school like a month..." "Shh!" "Quiet." "I was diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder." "What?" " I tell you, be quiet, they're sleeping upstairs." "In fact, it's not big deal, you just slam PTSD papers on table and nobody will say a word to you." "I didn't know you had things so fucked up." " They aren't so bad." "Sorry I drove you away, I would have wanted..." " Don't worry." "Where do I sleep then?" " I've got a spare blanket down there." "Take it and get next to me." " Okay." "Listen, thanks." "Sorry." "Hey." "Good night then." "Hello!" "See you!" "Good bye!" "I hope I don't have to stay in here for the rest of my life." "What did the doctors say?" "Then that's how things are." "Perhaps we'd call it a day?" "Or you'll hurt yourself." " No." "Okay, come now." " In any case I won't get any results." "Come on, everyone will." " I've worked two months for nothing." "Damn it!" " What are you butting here, want to box, huh?" "I could bring gloves, fight man-to-man." "Ms. Männik's no match for you." "Excuse me." "Yes, what is it?" "I was thinking..." "I won't get anywhere if I'm allowed to do so little." "Right, like a snail hitting brakes in a curve." "This bloody obstacle course is some piece of work." "Don't worry." "You did quite good for the first day." "Tell me, how long have you used the walking robot?" "Three months." " Any progress?" " Sure, at first I was like you." "You may master the apparatuses, but it won't help you in life." "I read there were some guys who worked out a lot and succeeded." "There was this coach with birth trauma, but started walking." "I was thinking, medical science and stuff develop so fast and I'll definitely be on my feet after a while." " Whatever." "Smoke?" " No thanks, I haven't learnt that." "And there's no need to, you're destined for an early grave." "Wait, were you in Afghanistan?" " I am." "I'm still there." "Something just stays behind, something remains unfinished." "You just need to go back there." "It's good I still have fingers." "What if someone had to hold your stub for you, that'd suck." "How long were you over there?" " Long enough." "Make sure you won't overdo with the exercises or it'll get you." "What, too snobbish?" "Markus Lehestik Human" "I won't obtrude on to be your friend." "But when you feel it gets too shitty, you may call me." "I'm a good listener." "Oh, Monday evenings at six we play floorball in the gym." "So if you want to take a whack at real men, you may come." "That is unless you wanted some line-dancing in next door gym." "Oh, the cowboy-stuff, right?" "No, I don't think it's for me." "There will be a lot more girls." "Anyways, what happened to you?" "Jumped into unknown waters?" "No, I was shot." "Don't speed!" "The other day I almost got pushed under a car." "I don't want you to be late." "Probation officer will put you immediately in jail." "They're real something, honestly." "You can't even cross the road with red light, nor speed." "Then don't." "What a perfect timing." " Isn't this great?" "Kati, why did you kiss me the day before yesterday?" "Oh, that?" "Well, cause..." "Sorry for self-pitying, too." " No big deal." "I'm happy I saw you." "The rest sucks, big time." "I feel good being with you." "All others are quite pointless." "My best friend is dead, there's not much else left." "You're like the only person I can normally talk to." "There's something I need to tell you." "I'm working on another girl." " No problem." "You behave now, will you?" " Peace out, girl scout." "Hi!" "Can you make it?" "Let's go." "You've gained some weight." "Violence is the last step of stupidity ...it's violence at school." "I did the improvements here, dad also helped a bit." "May I try it?" " Sure." "Is there any way I could help?" " Know what..." "Wow!" "It's so soft." " Of course." "I need to sit there more than 10 minutes every day." "When I was a kid I wanted a wheelchair for my birthday." "No you didn't." " True." "What is it?" " You're so cute right now, I could eat you." "Wait a moment." "Do you want to drink?" " No I don't." "Are we going to play the game "my hands are also crippled"?" "But they ain't..." "I couldn't imagine" "I'd have to sit the whole day in a wheelchair." "Sorry." "Nothing of it." "Lately, I've often been told:" "you're so lucky to get to sit in there a whole day." "What are you laughing at?" "Just remembered something funny." " Like what?" "You... actually no, most people think if you're sitting in that wheelchair you've got to have some menial disability, whether deaf or something." "The other day some old lady came:" "can I get through?" "I like that you're okay and do not shut me." "It's important." "Tell us, how was the party?" " Alright." "Who were you with?" " Some people from my class." "You know you're on probation?" " Yeah, I know." "Yeah, I know will not suffice." "It's most serious matter." "Make sure you won't come that late again." "Does that mean you'll never trust me?" "I can't talk to him alone, you have to help me out here, support me." "How am I supposed to talk alone the same subject?" "We need to talk." " Must we now?" "Half a brain is still asleep." "It can't wait, we need to talk." " What about?" "Why do we always need to talk, some things are obvious one way or another." "Something is very wrong." " Oh, really?" "And I haven't noticed?" "Just kept thinking what does this wheelchair lie around?" "Don't you be ironic right now!" "Dad, what is it we need to talk about?" "You have to comprehend none of us is having good times now." "So what am I suppose to tell?" " What's going on here?" "It's very difficult to get used to it all." "I feel so guilty." "Mom?" " Every morning I ask myself why, why us, why?" "Saara, we agreed, didn't we?" "Yes, we haven't talked about anything else in half a year that nobody is guilty, we can't blame ourselves." "If you'd have seen us at that time." "We would come home every evening, sit on a couch, take each other's hands and it began all over again." "But your theory doesn't hold and isn't of any help." "So now we're smoking, right?" " We?" "You mean you as well?" "You're being ironic?" "Good." "Actually, I wanted to tell..." "There's a psychologist seeing parents in the chamber for disabled." "Let's just send all this to hell." "Let's go some place, just the three of us." "We can't right now." "You've got a job, Toomas goes to rehab." "These exercises can also be done elsewhere." "There are those lake spas, or also here, in Narva-Jõesuu." "We could also do fun stuff, life can be nice, right Saara?" "This is our life Saara, for ever." "Getting used to it is possible." "Oh, hi!" "Today we've got one more guy, Toomas." " Hello!" "We go through exercises for about 10 minutes and then play." "We'll form teams, come in, here, this one's for you." "Try how it is to ride that." "It's your first day on those wheels, isn't it?" " Yes." "Try it." "Tom's in my team." "What are you doing here?" " Same old..." "What was your time?" "Are you going to compete?" " Not really." "Why?" " I won't press, we compete daily." "Hey, were you in the shooters' class?" "How are you involved?" "Hey, calm now." " You think you are bloody normal to ask this?" "Please don't quarrel." " What if I told you I was in that class?" "What have you got to say me then?" " Nothing." "I'm going home, are you coming with me?" "I see." "Listen, I need to go." "Toomas, wait up!" "Why did you run away?" " Run away my ass..." "Why aren't you talking to me?" "Why did you get angry?" "You make communicating with you so difficult when..." "Do you want to be with me or not?" "It's not that easy, so black-and-white." "What color is it then?" "I want to be honest with you." " Honest?" "Okay, let's hear it." "I knew it all along..." " What did you know?" "That you were the shoot..." "that you were shot." "When you knew it all along, why did you hide it from me?" "I was thinking you don't want to talk about it." "That it is your secret." "I reckoned you'd tell me when you feel like." "Toomas, I can't be your girl." "It's not about you, it's about me." "Really, I'm so young," "I can't take the responsibility." "All of this is too important, too big," "I won't be able to handle this, Toomas." "Toomas?" " What happened'?" "I'm fed up with this fucking chair." "I hate it." "I don't want to sit in it any more." "Listen, Toomas!" " Shut up!" "Whatever happened today it..." "I hate how people stare me down like a freak." "You, too, mom!" "Why are you staring?" "Toomas, let me take this." "Toomas, let it all out." "Cry, don't hold it inside." "Calm now, everything will be alright." "It'll be okay, calm." "Yeah, I know how it is." "Still, it'll soon pass." "Listen, I offer you a cliche:" "you have to change things you can and accept those we can't change and learn to make difference between them." "As simple as that." " No, it won't pass, not at all." "As simple as that." " No, it won't pass, not at all." "I've got this feeling I can't take it any more." "And that will pass, as well." " No, it won't." "Whether it's a wheelchair or not, but once a liar..." "What's going on?" " Nothing." "Did you get home alright?" "What happened to your arm?" "Listen, haven't you seen this Afghanistan dude?" " Lehestik?" "Why do you ask?" " Cause..." "In the morning radio said Corporal Lehestik was found dead at his home." "Did he do it?" "Which one of you isn't a fag?" "!" " Do that fag-thing, you hear me!" "Take Joosep's pants off, damn it, I tell you!" "Did you see how it worked?" "What are you doing?" " I was thinking of preparing a dinner." "Have you got some time?" "I'll take behind the calf..." " Ouch, don't break it." "I'll take behind the calf..." " Ouch, don't break it." "So who was this girl you got here?" "You mean Kati?" "She's from the old class." "So, have you two...?" " What?" "What do you mean?" "I mean something mothers should know about." "I mean something mothers should know about." "You're not thinking of that?" " That what?" "The pastime of the elderly?" " Oh that?" "You mean banging?" "...remember... shooting, Toomas..." " What?" "!" "It was like, it happened when they were in the canteen..." "I can't walk, but I'm not deaf" "Perhaps you'd share honestly what happened there." "What do you want to know about?" "The shooting?" "Yes, just tell us what really happened." " Okay." "Me and my desk mate, who's dead now, we thought we were having just fun," "I'm not proud of it at all." "Basically, what we did was torture." "At first one of them then the other." "One guy finally had it." "One guy finally had it." "Then they came in the canteen." "I tried to ﬂee, didn't manage." "Two weeks later I woke up from coma." "Did you see anybody get hit?" " Was there lots of blood?" "Did you see anybody get hit'?" " Was there lots of blood?" "Were there many dead?" " Have you got a scar?" "Want to see?" "Have you got one on your back, as well?" "Have you got one on your back, as well?" "I don't think I'm going to show it." "It's not for the faint-hearted." "Don't harass a man." " You were familiar with his six-pack." "Why did you torture those boys?" "I don't know." "All this time we were thinking it was fun." "No reason at all." "All this time we were thinking it was fun." "No reason at all." "I haven't had time to figure it out." "Lately, I've done a lot of thinking." "Would you consider talking about it?" " But I am." "No, I mean publicly." " It does not change... certainly not!" "It is you who is the perfect person to talk about it." "It is you who is the perfect person to talk about it." "Is there always a room behind a door?" "Does every room have always doors?" "These questions existed long before New Year's Eve when lead was poured for luck." "So arduously the lead of luck congealed" "So arduously the lead of luck congealed that azure began to hurt." "Toomas Sinijärv will now talk about school violence." "I don't know what is it where I should be starting from..." "I'm rather surprised I'm ready to share my story with you." "Is there always a room behind a door?" "Does every room have always doors?" "These questions existed long before New Year's Eve" "These questions existed long before New Year's Eve when lead was poured for luck." "So arduously the lead of luck congealed that azure began to hurt." "Friends?" " Friends." "We need to hurry to make it ten sharp." "Where to?" " I'm not going to tell you that, it's a surprise." "Where to?" " I'm not going to tell you that, it's a surprise." "...when one denied oneself." "Is it possible without knowing where does if hide to make a right decision in life?" "A moment's like a blooming ﬂax glowing through frail haze." "Under clouds, under heavens, under expectation, under hope." "Between clouds, between heavens," "Between clouds, between heavens, between expectation, between hope." "And when one day I unlock the door." "I'll be listening on the doorstep" "I'll be listening on the doorstep what does the beat of the bird in my chest tel!" "me, where I'm being waited, whether here or there and then I rise up, rise like a phoenix and once again, once again be me." "Under clouds, under heavens, under expectation, under hope." "Between clouds, between heavens, between expectation, between hope." "Between clouds, between heavens, between expectation, between hope."