"Papa, I've looked at the estate accounts and if we all learned to dress ourselves, we could save 40,000 a year." "Next you'll be suggesting you go and get a job." "Oh, I do so love Christmas." "The whole family together." "It's a pity Granny decided to go skiing." "She was in the papers today." "She's broken the world record for ski jump." "Good for her." "Though I must say I've never been happier, and long may it last." "A toast to happiness." " To happiness." " Happiness." "Telegram, my lord." "Thank you, Carson." " Ohh." " Bad news?" "I'm afraid so." "It appears I have lost our entire fortune." "Not again." "I've let you all down." "Frankly, it would be better if I had never been born." "Darling, don't say that." "I'm going to take the car out for a spin." "Papa, don't." "You know what happens to anyone who takes the car out for a spin at Christmas." "Quite." "I may be some time." "Don't be ridiculous, Lord Grantham." "You have everything to live for." "Crikey, who are you?" "I'm an angel, darling." "Look, I want to show you what life would have been like here" "If indeed you had never been born." "This will be perfect for when I'm doing the Black Bottom at the Tea Dance." "This will be perfect for when I'm on stage with my band." "Ahh, you got my delivery." "Is that a tradesman?" "In one of the bedrooms?" "Yes." "He's rather dishy." "That's right, ladies." "All the way from Selfridge's" "I brought you the finest in silk undergarments." "Typical yank." "Harry?" "What are you doing here?" "I brought you this." "Ohh, are you buying Mr. Selfridge's undergarments, too?" "Well, not as such, but last time I was in Mr. Selfridge's store" "We were discussing how to help the poor at the east end, and somehow, I managed to leave it in his office." "It's easily done." "Isobelle." "In a bedroom with a tradesman?" "With a beard?" "He is one of the richest men in England." "Is he." "Perhaps he should meet Edith." "What is going on here?" "I think you need to leave." "Now." "Come, come." "Downton Abbey and Mr. Selfridge should not be quarreling." "After all, we are on the same channel." "Ahh, and this will be perfect when I'm being flighty and spontaneous." "That's right." "That is the spirit, and there is more of that at Selfridge's" "Because it is a wonderful, magical place where all your dreams could come true," "And the only limit is your imagination." "You're not Willy Wonka." "Not yet." "Do you have these in a size" "Thirteen?" "Come, come." "I think it's time." "His lordship's whiskey is absolutely delicious." "Not as nice as his brandy." "This is disgraceful." "What, them nicking your booze?" "I don't care about the booze." "Look at that fool Carson." "He's wearing my best slippers." "I'm out." "Three kings." "Not so fast, buster." "Full house." "Ladies over sevens." "Take them off." "Off!" "Off!" "Off!" "Off!" "We don't want Mr. Molesley taking any more clothes off." "Where's Jimmy when you need him." "Why is Mrs. Patmore wearing those ludicrous glasses?" "Because you don't exist" "The new earl hasn't paid for her cataract operation." "Who is the new earl?" "What you making, Molesley?" "I'm busy." " What are you drinking, Rose?" " Busy." "Thank you." "Dearest." "Lord and Lady Carlisle have asked us over for dinner tonight." "Aww, heck." "Who in heaven's name is that?" "That's the most honorable George Oceans Gravity Marquis of Hollywood." "Cora's husband." "Husband?" "What on earth does she see in him?" "Seriously?" "Nice dip." "I'm busy." "Who's that?" "She hasn't let me kiss her like that since" "Actually she's never let me kiss her like that." "Lord Hollywood." "Lord Hollywood!" "Tell me." "Tell me, does your family have a coat of arms?" "Or, indeed, a coat?" "Lady Violet." "You are as beautiful and charming as ever." "Where were we?" "Thomas, were you listening in on our conversation?" "Yes, my lord." "It's part of my job description." "He's right." "A footman's duties include answering the door, serving drinks" "And secretly gathering information to use to his own advantage in a malicious or vindictive manner." "It's all in my contract." "I'm very sorry, Thomas." "I do apologize." "Carry on." "Thank you, my lord." "Mary." "I really don't feel like I fit in upstairs or downstairs." "Tom, like we keep telling you of course you fit in." "Now go and clean the car." "Why are my daughters here?" "If I don't exist, how come they exist?" "Well, why not ask the writer?" "Excuse me." "I don't think any of this makes sense." "Don't worry about that." "Nobody cares." "But if someone eats a grapefruit with a wrong spoon, you go berserk." "Well, yes, but that's cutlery." "Lord Hollywood." "Okay, hang on." "Give me one second." " And how do you want it?" "That's the one." " Yeah." "Elsie Hughes." "What are you doing?" "It's a selfie." "Come on." "Ohh, everybody in, then." "Come on." "One, two, go!" "This is ridiculous." "That man has got the entire household behaving like fools." " Yes!" " You were right, angel." "Downton has gone to rack and ruin without me." "Well, job done, then." "Please." " Take me back." " Brilliant." " Okay." " Again." " Let's do it." "Ow." "Now we heard about your recent failed investments, my lord." "Yes, it was rather ill-advised." "Anyway we've all pooled our life savings." "And we'd like to give you this." "My word." "But this covers my losses and more." "How could you afford this?" "I put a little away every month in the post office for my retirement." "And I invested in the wireless, which made a tidy sum." "We just love working here." "But this you could have simply bought the estate and run it yourselves as sort of commune." "No, no, no, my lord." "We enjoy being your servants." "I don't." "Well." "Maybe a little." "Oh, yes." "We know our place." "Your generosity is overwhelming." "Sherry all around." "God bless us, every one." "We wish you a merry Christmas." "We wish you a merry Christmas." "We wish a merry Christmas" "And a happy New Year." "Text Santa!"