"You're light?" "Yeah." "You know are you sure you don't want your old job back at the shop?" "My dad could use you." "You got your ass kicked out there." "I won, didn't I?" "Won?" "Are you nuts?" "You got knocked out." "Yeah, well I'll get better." "Just screw working on cars, alright?" "This is my job now" "I'm gonna make millions." "Yeah, millions of concussions." "African-American Man:" "Waaaa waaaa." "Look, you're almost 40 years old." "And when did you plan on jumping from amateur to pro?" "When you're 50?" "You made good money as a mechanic." "Go back" "That's crap, alright." "I'm going to be a fighter." "I'm good, I know I am." "Yeah, at least one of us knows." "Look I train you to be in my corner Mark." "The least you can do is give me a chance, right?" "Alright." "Alright" "But could you look at my car this week?" "It's making this weird noise again." "Want to know if you fix the old girl." "Yeah okay, I'll get your car Mark." "You know, you got determination" "I'll give you that." "Even if it's stupid determination." "And, and you've got a killer right hook but you'll never be able to use it unless you work your arms and work your legs." "And you've gotta chop the weight man." "Well that's not going to be a problem" "Cynthia made me stop eating so I'm going to drop the weight like it's nothing." "She made you stop eating?" "Yeah, she thinks I'm fat." "She weighs me in like every day." "You know you've gotta get yourself a new girlfriend" "That's messed up" "And I told you that before." "Francis you were so amazing tonight." "When you hit that guy in the face and busted open his jaw that's what gets me so hot." "I love you Francis and I can't imagine being without you" "I just have to know that you'll be with me forever" "I can't take no for an answer." "Now did you like that?" "I thought you did." "How about this?" "Yeah." "How do you like that?" "I can do this every day when we're married." "You deserve this Francis." "Do you like what you see?" "Yeah, I know you do." "Yeah." "Yes." "I would do anything for you." "Ooooh, I just love you sweetheart." "My name's not Francis." "What?" "Francis is going to hear about this." "You're just screwy." "You know the next time a hot girl comes up to you calls you Francis tells you that she loves you rubs her titties in your face pretend your name is Francis!" "Hey I've got a girlfriend Mark." "Don't give me that" "I've got a girlfriend" "Bo-log-na." "I'm pretty sure it's pronounced bologna Mark." "Sure?" "Hey?" "What's that say there." "Bo-log-na!" "What's wrong with you?" "Who carries around packages of bologna in their bag?" "You'll find out when you're my age." "What?" "Get some ice on that jaw and lose some weight for God's sake." "Suck a dick." "Hi honey" "Hey babe." "Ooooh, you good?" "Other than the fact I don't remember getting my ass kicked." "Mark thinks I'm a terrible fighter." "Yeah, I guess you could say I'm good." "You remember what tonight is right?" "No." "Stop acting like a pussy or your girlfriend's gonna punch you in the face night." "You're the one who quit your job to become a fighter." "You told me that you could make money doing this so now I'm just the pregnant girl who's to sit at home and worry about the mortgage and do the housewife thing." "So don't look at me for sympathy." "Wait, you're pregnant?" "You knew I was pregnant Richard!" "You could sense it!" "I could sense it?" "That's insane." "What am I, some friggin' Jedi Knight can sense information out of the wind?" "You know what Rich?" "One of these days you're just gonna have to grow up." "You wanna be a kung fu fighter?" "Fine!" "Go for it!" "I think Mark was right." "Mark what?" "Why does everything have to be such a big deal with you." "I love you babe, alright?" "I love you." "Just act like a normal person once." "Chill out!" "Everything's gonna be okay." "You chill out!" "Whose car is that outside?" "It's your sisters." "Sisters?" "So if it's a money thing, I get it." "I'll help you out." "But you've been avoiding your entire family." "If this is another psychotic boyfriend thing" "In fact I want you out of the house." "Nice to see you too Rich." "So what did this guy do to you?" "Slow down." "It's not like that this time." "You're, you're living on a prayer here." "I swear to God." "I'm over this crap!" "What are you talking about?" "I'm talking about you." "Traveling around screwing frickin' bands and artists and frickin' mimes." "Who the hell goes out with a friggin' mime?" "Will you hold on for one second and let me explain myself?" "Knock yourself out." "Yes." "It's about my new boyfriend." "Woooooow, what a shocker." "He is nice." "He's not a dirtbag." "He's just well..." "Serial killer?" "Murderer?" "Child molester?" "What?" "No!" "He's missing, okay?" "I think someone kidnapped him." "Someone kidnapped your boyfriend." "Give me a break." "I think someone took him because" "Put me down." "Put me down." "Who or what are you?" "Titties." "Take that!" "Run, run for your life." "We all gonna die." "Run." "Good fight." "My name's Richard." "Look, I don't want to hurt you." "The last thing I remember is some big fat guy says "titties"." "Now I'm here and I don't know what the hell's going on." "You wanna be a jerk?" "Fine." "Arghhhh." "Arghhhh." "I love me some titties." "Haaaa!" "More grape juice." "Boobies." "Beautiful boobies." "Boobies of all shapes and sizes." "Just for me!" "I have found the special one" "My day has come." "I have found Raine Brown." "Only a man with his true heart may pass." "I understand." "Do you?" "Yes, I want to take you to dinner." "What?" "I wanna take you to dinner." "You are Soaring Eagle and I am Two Dogs Fucking." "I have seen us in my visions." "It is our destiny." "C'mon." "Buy you nice things and bring you flowers 'cause it'll make you happy and then I want to take you home and make love to you on my soft llama-skin bed." "Llama skin is very nice, very soft very expensive." "Yeah, well" "You are lost." "Yeah, no shit." "You've come from a far away land where they have restaurants that serve rapidly prepared food like pancakes and cheeseburgers and where people eat so much that they have to wear moomoos." "So you've been to Florida." "African-American Man:" "Waaaa waaaaa." "What's with the sandwiches?" "They are here to remind us that somewhere there is a group of hungry bums who will eat anything." "Dude." "What?" "!" "I'm, I'm sorry, I'm sorry it's this book." "It's the only book I had to occupy my time here." "Makes me less of a man than I used to be." "Can't you just get another book?" "No." "This is the only book here." "It's a blessing and a curse." "I am a prisoner in this realm." "I disobey the laws of this world and cannot leave my sacred grounds." "I was foolish in my youth and now I am trapped." "Look Mr. Indian man" "It's Two Dogs Fucking." "Look, TDF." "I'm a little short on time." "My girlfriend got kidnapped and I've been running around in circles trying to find her, alright?" "I have no idea where she is or how to get her back." "I just want to find out where she is and how to get her back." "Okay, if I get you a different book are you going to help me?" "Enough!" "Enough already!" "Good God!" "Like a Bermuda Triangle of friggin' acid trips out here." "Another book?" "You would buy me another book?" "Yes." "Would you help me?" "I swear on my life." "I'd do anything for you." "I know this entirely inappropriate for many reasons but it's the only book I've got." "Does everyone where you come from have tiny versions of books?" "Well no, not everyone." "The Bibley." "It's pronounced the Bible." "Yes, the Bibley." "A man who can make a little tiny book appear from nowhere you truly are the special one." "I will help you on your quest." "Soaring eagle." "Thank you Two Dogs." "Now how do I find my fucking girlfriend?" "There is an evil man named Zefrose who has ruled over this dominion for hundreds of years" "but his magic is too strong for us to have ever mounted a successful charge." "This Zefrose collects women." "His vast army trains them in the art of pole dancing and strip tease." "Very dark heart." "He believes that he has found the woman from his vision" "His obsession." "His future wife." "He believes that your Cynthia is this woman but he has been fooled!" "Zefrose may be vulnerable while his attention is fixed on your girlfriend." "We must infiltrate his compound." "Which way is it?" "Such fearlessness." "I will inform my forest creatures." "They will guide you." "Thank you Two Dogs Fucking." "Be careful Soaring Eagle." "You are the chosen one of the prophecy." "One to save all who dwell in this dimension." "The one to usher in a new era." "Seek out the Croatian." "He is much older, stronger, and wiser than I am." "Thank you Two Dogs Fucking." "Goodbye." "Help me." "Anybody out there?" "My God, get me out of here." "Help me, help me please." "Please help me." "One, three, four, five take, take" "Grape juice, delicious." "Thank you, the grape." "Put her in room number eight thousand eighty five." "This one is special." "I have finally found her." "Soon the prophecy shall be fulfilled." "Let me go." "C'mon, c'mon." "Where are we?" "Get comfortable." "I would like a granola." "I'll trade you two blueberries for a granola." "No." "No, no, no, no." "The granola is very meaningful to me." "My grandmother ate granola." "Fine." "Two blueberry cereals and a marshmallow for one granola?" "Ooooh, okay." "That'll work but" "I also want those crispy circular rice balls you have?" "That's gonna cost ya." "That's alright." "Very nice, yes." "The master, he likes it when you dance" "Give it up Marcel." "Let her go." "You think you can just come in here and say let her go and I would hand her over to you?" "Like this is some chintzy Arnold Schwarzenegger film?" "You Americans are all the same." "You are all bread with no butter." "You are all steak with no peppers." "You are like a chicken who went across the road" "You are like breakfast without wine" "You are like an armpit without hair." "Dude!" "What the fuck is wrong with you?" "Just let her go." "As I recall I am the man with the whip and you are the fat American with the flabby jelly arms." "That's it!" "It's the gorilla man." "Once again you find luck in the face of" "Nearly American poop" "Don't you think that your monkey friend will keep me away forever." "We will meet again." "We will meet again!" "Thanks for saving my life." "Yeah, well I didn't come back to save your life." "Well then what did you come back here for?" "I came back for my hand." "Gimme the hand." "Thanks for carrying it for me." "Sure." "So listen, just watch yourself." "Just watch myself?" "That's all I get?" "How about a little help here?" "Yeah, how about a little help here Mr. Gorilla?" "You really don't know who you are, do you?" "No, who am I?" "C'mon now, don't play dumb!" "Alright listen Gorilla or Mr. Gorilla whatever the hell your damn name is" "I don't know where I am" "I don't know what's going on" "There's something seriously, seriously wrong with this place" "I just need to find my girlfriend." "Now do you know where she is?" "Hand me that bag of sandwiches." "What bag of sandwiches?" "The bag of sandwiches by your foot." "Yeah you really don't know what's going on, do you?" "Well if you want my help then you come with me right now and you'll leave the girl." "Leave the girl?" "Leave me?" "I'm not gonna harm her Richard." "She is much too valuable to them." "She's a savior, we can't leave her now." "Leave the girl and come with me." "Trust me!" "We have to make a decision." "We've gotta make a decision now!" "I'm sorry." "So sorry." "My God!" "He just stabbed her in the face." "I told ya they weren't gonna kill her." "They're not gonna kill her they just stabbed her in the face!" "Yeah but it's" "She'll be alright" "It's like a superficial wound" "Like a, like a small cut." "It's not something you just rub butter on and put a band-aid on it." "I understand that you have encountered a rebellious character who has interrupted your training session." "Is that not so Bob?" "Wee" "Did you kill him?" "No." "No Mr. Zefrose, the gorilla." "He saved him." "He did, did he?" "Interesting." "I see zee look in zee gorilla's eyes." "I think that this man, he is a chosen one from the prophecy." "Well, well, well." "The chosen one has come after all these centuries." "Right on!" "If it's a fight he wants" "A fight he shall have!" "But you Bob have disappointed me on this great day of trial" "My greatest enemy is here among us and you have failed to kill him." "I have been betrayed by my oldest friend and my most loyal subject." "But you are the best trainer I've ever had" "So, I'm willing to give you one last chance to redeem yourself" "Awe, thank you" "Thank you Zefrose." "No." "Not the game." "Anything but the game." "Hook him up to the" "No." "No!" "Nooooooo!" "I can't believe you made me do that." "Hey, I didn't make you do anything." "You're a big boy." "You can make your own decisions." "Why did we have to leave her behind?" "We had to leave her behind man." "They put miniature tracking devices in her nipples." "We can't have them following us wherever we go." "Miniature tracking devices inside of her nipples?" "That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard." "And I have no idea how to get 'em out." "So we had to lose the girl." "Kapeesh?" "Why didn't you just try sucking' them out?" "That's disgusting." "I couldn't anyway 'cause I'm lactose intolerant." "I don't like you." "You're a dick." "My girlfriend was kidnapped by some friggin' guy some weirdo that says "titties"" "I looked like the biggest coward 'cause" "I was almost killed by some freaked out French man" "And I left some girl to die 'cause you said you'd help me." "Fine." "You think you can do this on your own?" "Then go ahead." "Do this on your own." "But let me tell you something" "I don't like you either." "You're a dick!" "You're a jerk!" "And you're an asshole!" "And you have absolutely no kung fu skills at all." "It's just I have no choice in this matter." "Now do I?" "How do you have no choice?" "Because you're the chosen one Richard." "And I've sworn to protect you." "Yeah, okay, I'm the chosen one." "That's a friggin' joke." "What?" "Are we in the matrix?" "You really don't get this, do you?" "Yeah, that's right, okay?" "You just continue about another mile down the road and you'll find everything you're looking for." "You are a very disobedient dragon." "The freshman was Marlon Brando.." "Well does he have a name or should I call him liar?" "Ace Ventura Pet Detective starring Jim Carey." "You don't have to be good all the time." "Just when it matters." "The 1999 version of Beowulf starring Christopher Lambert." "Would you stop rubbing your body up against mine 'cause I can't concentrate when you do that." "Big Trouble in Little China starring Kurt Russell" "What?" "We're all put to the test but it never comes in the form or at the point we would prefer, does it?" "The Edge, Sir Anthony Hopkins and Alec Baldwin." "We are the children of children and we live as we are shown." "It's, bull crap." "Joe versus the Volcano written by John Patrick Shanley." "I like big fat men like you" "When they fall, they make more noise." "The good, the bad, and the ugly." "You've done well." "I thought I was going to have to kill you today." "But you've obviously been studying up on your movie trivia and that makes me very, very happy!" "Yes." "I memorize many of your crappy Yankee films because I must." "Come up here and let's have some grape juice together." "Grape juice for me" "and my friend Bob." "And let's have some titties." "I trained you well" "Never fail me again Army Bob." "Never." "You're an idiot." "No, you're an idiot!" "You're an idiot." "No, you're an idiot." "You sound like my girlfriend." "Yeah I bet I sound like your girlfriend." "'Cause you're a moron." "Man I can't wait for this whole thing to be over with moron." "Get what over with?" "The whole thing's gotta be done and over with." "Hold it." "Hold it." "Just hold it!" "C'mon." "Stand right here tough guy." "You need to save your limited kung fu skills and strength for Zefrose." "Okay?" "From now on we're sneaking around." "That's the way we roll." "We can take these guys." "I mean you're a fighter, let's go." "That's just it, I'm a good fighter." "You're not." "I can take 'em." "Alright tough guy, let me see what you got" "I'll show you how" "We can take 'em?" "We?" "You got a lot to learn kid." "C'mon." "Hello?" "You went on the property of Zefrose" "A kind and loving guy that fancies himself a man" "You will love him" "You will remove your clothes" "When commanded you will cook and you will dance" "If you are not a good dancer we have many dance instructors so don't worry" "Our dance instructors have worked on the greatest cruise ships around the world" "Goddamn bitches!" "You follow the fucking rules." "And I don't wanna hear any goddamn whining." "And you bake the fucking cakes for Zefrose" "You close your fucking eyes go to fucking sleep." "You got it?" "That's what you do." "Otherwise I'm gonna have to come in there and do a few things." "You wouldn't like that, would ya?" "Are we getting ready for dinner or are we still preparing for breakfast." "Show me your friends." "I must inspect them for the master." "My friends?" "Yes, your friends." "You must be stupid, who do you think I am?" "I think you're a delicious little girl in a highly fortified castle." "You belong to us." "You are our property." "You belong to Zefrose." "Zefrose?" "Who is Zefrose?" "He is your master." "Listen up fat ass" "When my father finds out about this the entire New Jersey Police Department is going to be breathing down your neck." "I'm so scared." "Show me little lady." "Show me!" "Show me!" "Show me your titties!" "I hope you're not a screamer." "Stop, stop, fine." "I'll show you my tits" "Just don't do that anymore." "Go on then." "Split it now, when the tune sets up" "Now put your left hand on your right tit and your right hand on your left tit" "And go ta-da!" "Ta Da!" "I'm totally gonna kick your ass when I get out of here." "We should be safe down here for the night." "Man I haven't been in this place in years." "Used to be one of my old hangouts." "Bartender." "Dude." "Looking good man." "Wanna hook us up with something to eat?" "Ancient noodle." "There it is, boom." "Rock and roll, rock and roll." "There ya go man." "It's not much but that'll do." "Thank you." "Hey don't eat so fast" "You're gonna get sick." "Isn't that hot?" "What hot?" "The soup?" "No, the costume." "What costume?" "So what's your story man?" "Hey listen bro" "I know we need to spend the night here together or what not but we don't need to bond." "Okay." "Whatever." "You need to fight Zefrose." "I need to bring you to him." "Are you an artist or something?" "No, my wife was." "Was?" "Why'd she give it up?" "She had a spear thrown into her chest." "She's dead." "I'm sorry man." "Yeah." "We were hiding from Zefrose." "I used to work for him." "I was his right-hand man." "Until one day I, fell in love, you know?" "I wanted one of his girls." "And she fell in love with me too." "So we decided we were gonna get married." "And we ran off into the woods like two caribou" "And we raised a family" "And we stayed hidden for many years until Zefrose found us and he killed her and he took my son." "You just gave up on your kid?" "I didn't give up on my kid" "Zefrose ate him." "Zefrose ate your son?" "He ate my son!" "The sick fuck!" "He ate him right up!" "You're the biggest bullshitter I've ever met." "No I'm not man." "He ate him." "He's a cannibal." "He eats children." "Yeah, no offense, but you don't really look like much of a family man." "Yeah?" "Well no offense, you don't look like anybody chosen of grand poobah big shot guy either." "You're too fat." "Maybe I'm not the best one." "You are the best chosen one." "You are." "How do you know that?" "'Cause I'm a gorilla." "I smell that shit." "C'mon." "Dude." "It says it right here in the book" "Right here." "No human man has the ability to survive under our world conditions." "One day a man will arrive who is immune to our air" "He will save our realm from this madness." "This man is the least flawed closest to perfect one." "Boom." "In the book." "Everybody knows this shit but you." "It's right there." "Is this cold?" "Ughhhhhhh." "The coast is clear." "Yes." "[unintelligible right here." "Shhhhhhh." "You're asleep." "Good, we can finally do this." "Patty cake, patty cake, baker's man" "Bake me a cake as fast" "Oooh, my lower back." "C'mon, come here." "C'mon, lift me up." "C'mon I'll help you." "Oooooh." "Harder." "One more, one more." "Ooooh." "There we go." "Enough." "Jesus." "No that's a lot more fun than I think it should've been." "I said twice, not three times." "Alright, well you're fine now, right?" "Like if you take a pee if you shake more than once you're jerking off." "C'mon." "What?" "How did that feel?" "Does that feel?" "'Cause you're probably better now, right?" "How about this?" "You feel that?" "That's my face." "How's this feel?" "Can you breathe?" "Can you hear?" "You know what?" "!" "What?" "Fuck you!" "I love you." "Come here." "We shouldn't fight." "We're good friends." "We're thugs, right?" "You're right." "We kill people." "We rape them, right?" "Don't leave me." "Come here." "Your hair smells so good." "Thank you." "In order to defeat Zefrose" "To lay him out, kick his ass" "You're gonna have to control that magic arm." "Are you ready to train?" "Well, I'm stuck in a magical land inhabited by insane people my girlfriend is missing and I'm probably gonna die." "So yeah." "I'm ready." "Sure." "Let's do this." "C'mon man, how can this be?" "You're not even getting better" "You're getting worse." "What?" "Are you a one hit wonder?" "Damn." "This is ridiculous!" "You're regressing." "You, you're gonna die." "We're all gonna die!" "We have to speak about my wedding." "You know you're old enough to be my grandfather's great-grandmother but good for you man, as long as you're happy you know, you got this room with all these naked girls and titties poppin' out everywhere" "but I'm excited for ya." "Yes." "I have found the girl with the prophecies on the night of the full moon." "I will unveil the greatest gift of the Gods." "The girl with the greatest smoothest softest nicest most succulent titties." "The world's most perfect pair." "Oooooh." "Raine Brown." "I love you" "I love Raine Brown!" "I have seen all of her films but you never show your titties." "Now I will see your titties." "I will love your titties." "I will possess them." "They will be mine." "My very own." "With this, Raine's titties will reign over the entirety of my dictatorial territory" "You are crazy man." "You are one crazy dumb motherfucker man." "Here, smoke this and calm yourself down." "Slow your roll a little bit." "Who the fuck is Raine Brown?" "Girl, I don't know." "By coming here you have given us all hope." "But this is not a selfless act." "No." "Someone that you love is trapped here." "Yes, my boyfriend." "Do you know him?" "Patience." "Destiny boobs who speaks too fast." "Yes, your breasts have been sought after by the master of this realm for many, many years." "I know, but why?" "Why is he in love with my boobs?" "They're just boobs." "I'm not an insane old man obsessed with titties" "I do not know why" "But I think that you know why." "Yes, you do." "I'm an actress." "Zefrose was an obsessed fan." "An actress?" "What films have you been in?" "Look, I'd really rather not talk about it, okay?" "Modesty." "A very good trait to have." "I very much myself like dances with" "Can we just find my boyfriend please?" "Patience DBW STF" "You must seek out the one called Soaring Eagle." "He passed through here no more than a few hours ago" "Well what does he look like?" "You have many questions Raine Brown." "Perhaps you should ask yourself that one." "Perhaps you should give me better answers." "Okay, you know what Raine Brown?" "Everyone has their own agenda but you will not be able to leave without a fight." "What am I supposed to do?" "You must show me why Zefrose is chasing you." "You must show me destiny boobs." "I must understand why Zefrose has this obsession if I am going to assist you." "No, no, no, no." "I am not showing you my boobs." "Never!" "Okay I am not asking to see your boobs." "Then what are you asking?" "I am asking how you got here and why you came?" " I - just showed up here in a house filled with smoke and I" "I'm here because, because" "Water buffalo got your tongue?" "I'm just" "I'm trying to find my boyfriend." "Ahhhhh, now I understand." "Go Raine Brown." "You have no time to lose." "Seek out Soaring Eagle." "Avoid the ninja." "Silent." "Stay off the path." "You will find your way." "Go now!" "And one last thing take this to Soaring Eagle" "What is it?" "Here, no time for questions take that to Soaring Eagle." "Thank you." "For everyone that asketh, receiveth and he that seeketh findeth and to him that knocketh it shall be open." "Matthew, Chapter 7, verse 8." "How much further?" "We've been walking around for hours." "Up here." "Look over there." "That's the same techno chick from before" "We're walking around in circles." "Hello?" "What the hell!" "My shin." "Damn it." "Kick someone in the shin" "He is weak." "Thanks for the lift." "Thank you" "You are Richard Titties?" "Yeah, don't use the last name." "It's embarrassing." "Why would you be embarrassed about your real name?" "Because it's Titties." "You know, Richard Titties, as in Dick Titties" "It's not too cool of a name where I come from." "Unless you're a porn star." "I do not know this man named porn star." "No, there's a lot of porn stars." "There's a man named a lot of porn stars?" "No, forget I even said it." "I understand" "A man named forget I even said it knows a man named a lot of porn stars who knows this man named porn star." "No, it, no." "Just stop it." "Are you the Croatian?" "Yes." "We've got the gorilla and will boil him alive at your command moderately astonishing one." "What?" "Why would you do that?" "Where I come from" "It's a poor country" "We must eat what we can find." "No not that." "Why would you kidnap him?" "The gorilla is pure evil." "He must be stopped." "He's my guy." "He's been helping me through this place." "He taught me kung fu." "Kung fu" "He taught you nothing." "He is no one's guy but his own." "We must boil him alive and eat him with peppers." "That's disgusting." "You prefer carrots?" "We're not boiling anyone, okay?" "We have awaited your arrival for ages the great trombone." "Yes, Victor is right." "We must plan our attack on Zefrose's compound." "Come." "We will do it over hot and cheap vodka." "I could use a drink." "I hope you like boiled meat." "What is it with you and boiling things?" "It makes meat tender and soft." "Also is what I know." "Right." "Right." "By swan." "I have my only private goose lake." "Since they have a swan lake" "I've got my private goose lake." "Goosey, goosey, goosey, goosey" "Da, da, da, da, da, da," "C'mon." "Ughhh, ughhh." "Hey, did you just hear that?" "Hear what?" "I thought I heard something coming from over there." "Nah." "No shot." "Look at my sword." "Hey, that's a pretty cool sword." "Put it back and then take it out again." "That's awesome." "And it makes the sound and everything." "That's great." "Yep." "Do it again." "Here we go." "Yeah!" "That's awesome." "What are you laughing at?" "I don't know." "I suppose it's been so long since I've actually you know, seen anybody." "I've had no reaction at all to anything." "It's all funny to me really." "It's all funny." "How long have you been in here?" " I - don't know, you know it's probably a while." "It's definitely less than 10 years" "It's absolutely more than five." "It could be coming up on seven." "Because the thing is let me see, I used to mark it on the wall let me see if I can see it" "Dude c'mon." "Keep quiet." "They're gonna find us." "Don't you worry about, about that." "They never come and check on me" "You see it's part of their torture." "You know they're that daring." "There's a bit of sonic in that one." "Ughhh." "Green beans." "It's the blue lake cut that does it, you see" "And they've turned me into a monster you know, I used to be" "I use to be, you know, one of them" "Sort of like them and everything like that and then I decided I needed more out of life." "Ughhh." "And I wanted more" "What's wrong with you?" "I wanted more out of me life" "So they locked me away and they made me eat beans and chili and so on until I" "I just, I'm gonna explode, so just" "Ughhh." "Well it's not quite Beethoven, sorry." "Well I apologize for the smell young lady." "Get out of here why don't you?" "It's, it's, it, the stench will kill you." "It's poison." "Now listen..." "Two doors down and to the right there's a new victim." "They brought him only a few days passed." "You know, he may have enough strength to help you." "He'll give you cover." "Now go!" "No come here." "Just give us a little kiss goodbye." "Sweet, sweet girl." "You sweet firm young girl." "You must go." "Thank you." "You must leave me." "You must go." "Is that Beethoven?" "Nah, it's Strauss." "Yeah, you're right." "It sounds like Beethoven." "But it smells like Mozart." "Do you hear something?" "No, I didn't hear anything." "Did you hear something?" "Nothing." "We're good man." "Damn, what'd you scare me like that for?" "I'm sorry." "I heard you whimpering." "I thought you were a puppy dog." "No, I'm not a puppy dog." "I'm a man." "A tough guy." "I wasn't whimpering." "Whatever tough guy." "Sir Farts a Lot next door said that you were in here." "Farts?" "Those are farts?" "I thought that was music." "That's gross, you know." " I - know this bracelet." "That's Raine's!" "You're Raine's boyfriend?" "Raine?" "She's not here is she?" "Tell her to get out." "Zefrose is whacked man." "Yeah, slow down tough guy." "Okay, okay." "BTW I'm Christian." "Hi." "BFD, hi." "Raine and I started hooking' up last year" "She told me about this sultry dude who liked her movies" "So a few months later we started getting these weird phone calls." "And then we'd get care packages in the mail filled with carrots with notes that say" "I can't wait for the wedding." "And all of a sudden BOOM!" "I get kicked out and thrown in this dog's cage" "Look, you've gotta get Raine out of here." "If I gotta die, I'll take it like a man." "But get Raine out." "Yeah." "Hold on." "Whatever." "So this guy, he's just obsessed with her, I mean that's it?" "Obviously." "C'mon." "He kidnaps her boyfriend just to get to her." "That's some shit." "So how do you know Raine?" "She's my soon-to-be sister-in-law" "No shit." "Alright that's tight." "That's tight" "Yeah she told me about, you and her brother Rich Titties, right?" "Such a good name." "A man with a sweet name like that deserves a hot piece of tail like you." "What does Raine see in you?" "I'm the man." "So, you think you'd get me out of here?" "And lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of seasoning." "This is to be a special feast for my wedding." "Sir?" "Don't interrupt me." "I don't know what an onion is." "And I've never heard of the seasoning you speak of." "Is that a type of woman?" "You are the stupidest person in the world." "How is it you do not know what an onion is?" "All I do is stand around here fight people and bring you cups of grape juice" "I'm sorry." "I've raised you all from little bashuskas" "I should've taught you what an onion is." "I should've been a better father." "Sir please, you're destroying yourself" "And it's way too much refined sugar for you." "Be quiet." "Leave me alone." "I had one last chance to fulfill the prophecy" "To find the greatest rack on land or on the sea" "I wondered to and 'fro" "On my face a frown" "Till I finally found" "Bodacious Raine Brown." "Her titties were my quest" "Now they are the solution" "I'll marry them boobs and complete my evolution." "When those boobies are mine life will be mighty fine then I'll start the fun pinching them one by one." "And then I'll do it again and again and again and again until she says when to stop." "She'll never say to stop" "And bippity boopity bop" "Bop those boobies, bop those boobies" "Bippity boopity bop bop bop, bop bop, bop bop bippity boopity bop bop bop" "This is a hiney worthy of a French woman." "This other girl, I have her" "She dances and eats bread" "I train her." "She's like she has she has two left boobs." "She's like a fish with no fins." "Mary, Mary, not contrary." "You are the reason that French bread is so delicious." "You make a baguette really, really long." "You put zee bubbles in the champagne." "You really ferment my grapes." "No stinky cheese here." "My training of you has been perfection." "The stripes are a fabulous touch." "Touch on the tush." "I will have another word with the master about you." "Tomorrow night" "Zefrose is preparing to marry his bride." "It is during this preparation that he will be at his weakest." "Our attack must begin at dawn." "Listen, I know that everybody thinks I'm a stupendously fabulous savior guy" "Okay?" "But I just wanna get my girlfriend the hell outa here." "I'm gonna go in" "I'm gonna get her out" "And I'm gonna be gone." "How much do you know about the prophecy?" "Some human is the only guy that can survive in this realm and he's gonna come save the day." "A long, long, long, long, long long, long, long, long, long long, long, long, long, long long, long, long, long, long long, long, long, long, long" "long, long, long, long, long long, long, long, long, long long, long, long, long, long long, long, long, long, long long, long, long, long, long" "long, long, long, long, long time ago before you were conceived." "Before your great-great grandmother's uncle's nephew's neice's great-aunt's mother's great-grandmother's uncle's father's mother was conceived." "A prophecy was unearthed which said that one day a man with a magical power in his right hand" "Even greater than that of the evil lord would come and save our people from despair." "Great." "Our world would be bright and happy again." "We will have the opportunity to find peace and sanity." "How do you feel about leaving an entire race of people to starve, be tortured, and die at the hands of a madman?" "If Zefrose is married he will become 10 times as powerful as he is now" "Our world would crumble." "The bowls, the bowls" "Look" "You'll have the soup." "You must." "You will make a very big sexy and beastly man." "Drink the soup." "You become strong and viral and sexy man." "Drink that soup." "Okay." "Drink that soup!" "Come." "Eat." "And think things over." "It's very good." "Something very good in it." "What is that?" "Magic." "Richard?" "Richard, you are the chosen, chosen, chosen one." "Yes you are." "Whooa whooa whooa" "Finally." "My back, my legs, my arms my feet and my toes, my leg is cramping." "Shhh." "Shut up, they'll find us." "You know I've been in there for like five days in the same position." "My leg's cramping up, right?" "I think I got a blood clot." "Shut up." "Ha!" "Look at the two of you wandering around like the two American that you are." "Your host is here and you will show him your respect." "Well Raine Brown" "It seems you're in a bit of a pickle." "Raine?" "What?" "You think I'm Raine Brown?" "She's a bitch." "I'm way hotter than her." "Dit dit dit dit, you are not asked to speak so keep your lips shut tight of Ireland" "We know what you are up to" "Trying to break out your precious boyfriend" "He is not my boyfriend." "Dit dit dit dit." "As I was saying Raine Brown" "It seems you're in a little bit of a pickle" "Pirate jokes?" "Really?" "Oooh I've been searching for you many, many years." "I love your films." "I'm probably your biggest fan." "Noooo!" "I am your biggest fan." "And tonight we'll be husband and bride" "You'll make a beautiful bride." "Dude, I am not Raine Brown." "Turn around and look at me okay?" "And if you're such a big fan you would know I don't even sound anything like her." "Turn and look at me." "I'm not Raine Brown." "I'm not!" "Give her the jerky Bob" "That'll calm her down." "Would you like some beef jerky?" "C'mon." "You know you want some nice succulent beef jerky." "What the hell is wrong with you guys?" "I do not understand." "The entire of the University of West Virginia was like putty in my hands in 15 seconds." "What should I do here?" "He really thinks I'm Raine." "I don't know." "I mean it sucks to be Raine but kinda hot for my girl, you know." "Ughhh." "It seems that your so-called boyfriend is making a bit of a ruckus." "Get rid of him." "No, I can't die like this man." "Raine." "I love you Raine!" "No, ahhhhh." "Ahhhhhh." "That wasn't so bad." "I could go for a walk or a canoli." "No!" "Ughhhh!" "No!" "Oooooh!" "God!" "It tastes like shit." "Ughhh." "I wanted to get a piece of Cynthia's ass." "Do you think I'm gonna make it?" "This is not in the lasagna." "This is shitty gravy." "Ughhhh." "My teeth hurt too." "My skull." "Fist pump until the end baby." "Fist pump until the end." "Ughhhh!" "Ughhhh!" "I just want to live." "Woods of Evil" "Barricade" "Brain cell" "Darkest." "You're finally mine." "Dude." "She does not look anything like me." "Obviously you can see that." "You are a master of disguise." "It is an easy transformation to make." "Pink eye" "Psycho Holocaust" "Now that's a fine film." "Okay, I get it." "You're obviously a big fan." "I knew it was you all along." "You, whatever gets you off dude." "Whoop-dee-do, I'm the one and only Raine Brown." "Enjoy your preparations." "I'll see you at the ceremony." "It's not me." "Man." "What happened to you last night?" "What?" "Is this question town?" "Actually yes." "We are in question town." "Come Richard." "We must prepare the attack by the tree." "Go ahead." "I'm gonna go talk to the girl" "Okay just don't be a hero or anything okay?" "Not as bad as you think Raine." "My name's not Raine." "Whatever." "You know at first I was just like you." "I was like I wanna go home." "Somebody please get me out of here." "And then I realized just how good we have it" "There's no more office job" "No more daily grind" "No bills" "No taxes" "Just good music, great food, and dancing." "I have always loved dancing." "You'll see it's not as bad as you think." "Yeah." "Sure." "Zefrose is a really really nice guy." "He buys us flowers every week." "Well he buys us whatever we want actually" "And he's older so, you know" "It's not like this" "Ughhh!" "Ughhh!" "He's sort of like a dad kind of." "We're not like with him, you know" "We can date all the thugs and soldiers that we want to and some are really, really cute." "Really cute." "Zefrose just has a bad reputation because of the gorilla." "He spreads lies about this place to everyone." "Yeah the, the gorilla" "Yeah sure." "Furious." "Ooooh when I see that gorilla" "I am gonna kill him!" "I can't even remember my old life." "This is definitely so much better." "Yeah, well what about the part where you have to be like naked all the time?" "Well, the snow makes our niipples hard." "Makes our boobs look perkier." "Zefrose hideout is underground." "Now there's a portal here." "But you must be quick or else." "I want you to let him go." "No we will save him for after we defeat Zefrose." "We will boil him and we will eat him." "You can't just boil and eat everyone you meet." "This isn't Texas." "We've been in contact with the Indian." "He knows everything that's happened." "Why would you help him?" "I don't know." "He's a dickhead." "I don't like him at all." "You can't just boil every dickhead you meet in the street" "Imagine if you did that in New York there'd be like 10 people left in the entire city." "African-American Man:" "Waaaa Waaaa" "You have said some very wise things today" "Richard Titties" "Although the one you try to save truly is evil but you are the one who seems the most appropriate one so I have no choice but to head your words" "Okay, you must enter the compound here." "Raine Brown must be with you at this time." "If Zefrose is not shown the error of his ways first hand then Cynthia will be lost forever." "Now I do not doubt that you can find with your magic fist." "The prophecy has said so." "And there he goes again with the damn prophecy." "Zefrose cannot be beaten with physical confrontation alone." "I do not have the answers." "I'm a poor man from a poor country." "I know how to survive and provide for those who show me respect." "Some call me wise callous hands and tired bones." "As clever as you can Richard Titties" "When the little people arrive at midday that is when you will enter!" "My men and I will protect you for as long as we can." "Arghhhh!" "Raine." "This is our wedding." "Why do you look so sad?" "Where is Richard?" "Richard?" "Richard." "Don't worry about this Richard person." "Listen pops." "I don't know who the hell you think you are or what you want from me" "But I am not gonna marry you!" "So take me back to my normal little town on my normal little planet or else!" "Stop it!" "Stop laughing!" "Stop." "Stop." "So you don't want to marry me?" "Fine." "Let's at least pretend." "C'mon." "It'll be fun." "So as I broke the head of my staff in the anal orifice of thug 76 so shall I break your maiden head." "Yeah, you're a little late to that party." "I'll take that as a yes." "What?" "Let the ceremony begin!" "Even if what they said about you is true you still saved my life." "Now go." "Get out of here." "Bring him out." "Arghhhh!" "Be strong." "Is over there" "Once you are inside you will be alone" "So be quick about it." "Follow the sound of the music." "That reminds me my mother used to play the most beautiful music when I was" "Enough!" "Just tell me what I'm supposed to do." "Yes." "Yes." "Once you are there that is where you will find the key." "The men and I will protect you from the gang of indivisibles as long as we can." "What?" "Here they come boys." "I don't see anybody." "No." "No I don't" "No wait." "Look!" "There it is." "[unintelligible" "My God, go!" "Whoa dude." "You hear that?" "It sounds like Beethoven." "No, I think that's Brahms." "The Crotian said keep following the music" "So let's go." "God dude." "What is that smell?" "Who are you?" "Don't you worry about who I am." "You have to get inside the main hall." "Zefrose has the main door sealed" "But with me there is always a way." "There is a key." "A key?" "Yes." "You must reach the gate inside my" "Whoa, whoa, whoa dude." "No way." "No way in hell." "Don't be so disgusting." "I never thought the chosen one would have such a dirty mind." "You must reach deep inside the can of baked beans." "Okay, go on, get to it." "There ya go." "There you go." "God." "What is wrong with you?" "I don't know how to thank you." "Wait, you could get me a digestive you know." "Some prunes or a fiber shake an ice pop, anything." "Anything really." "Yeah." " I - got kind of a hose." "It just goes up and over." "Yeah, whatever you want." "Come here, come one, come all." "To this most magnificent and spectacular event." "Where one man is going to marry one fine looking woman, ya know." "We got her here today for a special occasion and like my man, Mr. Zefrose got some bangin' jerk chicken going in the kitchen and some kickin' vegetable stew" "Let's get this thing going into high gear 'cause I'm as hungry as a beast in the desert and I'm sure you are too." "So if anybody got anything to say to my man or got some beef let them speak now or forever hold your peace boy!" "I got something to say." "So the crazily fantabulous grandly exuberant somewhat sublime distinguished gentlemanly one has finally found me." "Shut up old man!" "Let her go or else." "Or else what?" "Attack me with your paltry kung fu skills?" "Or send me to oblivion with your magically mighty right arm?" "I have captured your poor terrified tipified girlfriend." "And now I've even captured your sidekick" "You sick son of a bitch." "All of this is because of you." "And what pretty little lady do we have here?" "Raine!" "It is you!" "I have been deceived!" "Get help!" "Tips for DJ." "What?" "I'm French." "I'm not German." "Sorry man." "This is definitely now waaa waaa." "Pay back is a bitch." "You made me bleed." "Cynthia, inside the gorilla." "Ray my son." "That's right bitches." "I'm Zefrose's son." "And I'm gonna take his powers and I'm gonna take over this world." "Thank you for helping me Richard Titties or should I call you Dick Titties" "You were using me." "Hello?" "Get with it buddy." "We were both using each other." "You needed to find Zefrose and I needed to have him killed." "Worked out pretty well I think." "I'm gonna kill you." "You bring it to me." "Richard, the Indian he told me to give you this" "Sandwiches?" "What the hell am I supposed to do with sandwiches?" "They are here to remind us that somewhere there's a group of hungry bums who will eat anything." "Aaaaahhhhhh!" "No wait!" "Stop!" "I can't kill you." "You're just a dirty old man." "I like you chosen one." "You spared my life." "I will grant you any wish you could want." "But please know this is a great privilege for to grant a wish I must sacrifice" "Shut up!" "That's Raine Brown." "That's Cynthia." "You were fooled the whole time." "Unless you can bring back her boyfriend then I don't want anything." "I, I, I, I must make amends for all my wrongdoings." "I will grant you your wish Richard." "Ooooh, so be it" "Ooooh the progeny sweet little wooly caterpillar spawned in a frenzy" "Bruised of a womb." "Aghhhh!" "Aghhh!" "I'm alive." "Yeah Christian's back bitches." "Fist pumping' Raine's ass." "Cynthia's lookin' pretty good too." "How you doing Cynthia?" "I'd like to get up in that ass too." "Thank you Zefrose." "Thank you Richard." "Richard?" "What are you doing?" "There's something I have to tell you." "Raine and I used to be in love." "You and Raine?" "What?" "Richard isn't my real brother." "He's my step-brother." "And we've been in love ever since high school." "And never did anything about it." "And then that one Christmas sophomore year when we finally kissed." "It was meant to be." "But then our parents said that they were getting married" "And then we really couldn't do anything about it so and I guess that's why you probably never liked any of my boyfriends." "And I guess that's probably why you could never find a good guy or stay with anybody long enough because you were secretly hoping we'd get back together." "And I guess that's why destiny commanded me to bring you all here together in a whirlwind of mayhem." "So that the bad guy could finally do something good in his life and that all long lost loves could be re-entwined." "And I guess that's why I carry packages of bologna in my gym bag." " I - guess that's why I like that he carries packages of bologna in his gym bag" "It's bo-log-na." "And I guess that's why I'm attracted to girls." "You are?" "And I guess that's why I like to boil meat" "And I guess that's why we're invisible." "I guess that's why I like MMA fighters." "And I guess that be why I'm wise." "But I think I'm a Jamaican man." "I guess that's why I fart so much." "I guess that's why I'm insane." "Nice chi-chi" " I - don't speak Spanish." "And I guess that's why I like romance novels" "And I guess this is why" "I get the sexy bitch with the boobies." "I guess that's why I like raviolis." "So you came all this way to save me just to break up with me?" "Ughhh!" "What a day I'm having!" "Before this gets any further drawn out and awkward let's stop talking and have a party!" "After all we did decorate for a wedding." "Start the music!" "You better watch out when I'm coming through" "I'm like Richard Titties and I know kung fu." "A karate chop, body drop, watch 'em hit the ground" "Alternate dimensions" "I gotta pour some grape juice in my cup and sit down on my weiner when it stands up" "I don't give a fuck you're a puck of a kannuck" "It's come doing titties and titties and titties and titties and titties and titties and titties" "And come doing titties and titties and titties and titties and titties and titties and titties and titties." "Come doing titties shit goddamn girl let me see you put up your man clam." "Now you lookin' at your friend sayin' what do we do?" "Girl show your titties and we'll do kung fu." "I'm the type of dude that you don't wanna be fightin'" "Not Jewish but I'll strike you like black lightning" "Got a gang of gorillas eat the bugs off my back and I'm faster than a chicken who was running track" "Get yourself an umbrella 'cause it's comin' down" "I got diarrhea, I'll make it rain brown" "Hit ya so hard I'll leave you puking" "Round house, upper cut and a" "It's come doing titties and titties and titties and titties and titties and titties and titties" "And come doing titties and titties and titties and titties and titties and titties and titties" "And come going titties baby shit, goddamn girl let me see you put up your man clam" "Now you're lookin' at your friend sayin' what do we do?" "Girl show your titties and we'll do kung fu." "Hey ya motherfucker I can ride a kick" "Jump up and smack you in the mouth with my dick" "I do my own stunts like Jackie Chan" "Watch out Chester or you'll get hit hard man." "Teen hand jobs here and we ain't" "Got a nice set of biscuits but I like muffins" "And I'm seeing more titties than Hasselhoff" "Girl you put the wax on and I'll wax off." "And it's come doing titties and titties and titties and titties and titties and titties and titties" "And come doing titties and titties and titties and titties and titties and titties and titties." "And come doing titties baby shit, goddamn" "Girl let me see you put up your man clam." "Now you're lookin' at your friend sayin' what do we do?" "Girl show your titties and we'll do kung fu." "Go to sleep." "Go to sleep" "Go to sleep" "Zefrose property." "Go to sleep." "Go to sleep" "And have horrible dreams" "About me coming into your room" "And doing some interesting things" "Now go to sleep" "Go to sleep" "Go to sleep now you bitches."