"Be quiet!" "Quiet!" "Hang up that phone!" "Sit down!" "Hold on." "I'm going to have a smoke." "LOTS OF ICE AND A LITTLE BIT OF WATER" "MY VACATION" "So you're going to read last year's essay?" "Yeah." "Roberta, all the others wrote a new essay." "Why couldn't you?" "It's not that I couldn't, Miss." "Of course I could have written a new essay." "But it would've made no sense, because my vacation was just the same as last year's." "Quiet." "Go on!" "Stop it!" ""My Vacation"." ""My sister and I went the damn beach house with our grandmother, where we endured the usual physical and psychological torture." "It's like Sylvia Plath used to say:" "'The hills step off into whiteness." "People or stars" "Regard me sadly, I disappoint them."'" "Here comes Roberta." "Five, four, three, two, one." "You don't have the maturity to understand what I'm about to say, but I'll say it anyway." "Thank you very much." "It's precisely because you throw things at me and laugh at me that I'm developing a keen artistic sensibility." "In 10 years I'll be famous, and you'll be paying to watch my films, listen to my music and read my best-sellers." "Morons!" "Five, four, three, two, one." "Who is it?" "It's me, grandma, your granddaughter." " Suzana?" " No." "The one you hate." "You ruined your hair." "May I come in?" "Your hair was great before." "I don't know why you insist on ruining it." "My hair "was" always great, it never "is"." "It always "was", and I ruined it." "Funny, isn't it?" "Short hair makes your face look square, like a man's." "Where's the blue elephant?" "Why?" "I just wanted to show you something." "I had to take it off the shelf." "The maids knock everything down." "The little bitches do it on purpose." "I'm not giving it to you." "I've told you:" "You'll have to wait until I die." "Who said I want this piece of crap?" "It's china, worth a fortune." "I'm amazed you and your sister didn't break it." "That's the thing." "We did break it, but Suzana glued it back together." " Where?" " Here." "Can't you see?" "Hello, is this Skittles the Clown's house?" "Is he in?" "Can you repeat that?" "I didn't get it." "Skittles the Clown stepped out." ""Stepped out" where?" "Excuse me, stepped out where?" "He went to get cigarettes." "Tell her to get him." "Say it's urgent." "Here's the thing:" "Sunday is my son Tiago's birthday." "Yeah, right." "We're having a party." "I had hired a clown friend of your husband's, but he just called to say he had an accident." "No, nothing serious." "He tripped over a kid and broke his collarbone." "Yeah, the poor guy is in a cast." "He can barely move." "So he suggested your husband, Sparkles." "Skittles, of course." "Skittles the Clown." "I'm sorry." "It's this Sunday at 4pm." "Is he available?" "He is?" " He is!" " Really?" "Really!" "Well?" "Hi, grandma, how are you?" "Don't make a scene." "Everyone in our family is very well-behaved." "We don't make scenes." "There's a hole to let the air in, okay... grandma?" "Hi, how are you?" " Thank you, Mr. João." " No problem." "Did you get henna and hot wax?" "Yeah, I stopped by the drugstore." "Did you remember the nail clippers?" " Hi, Mr. Isaías." " Good morning." "A complete manicure kit - the cheapest there was, to make sure it gets infected." "Oh, and I got gloves for the virginity exam." "Did she wear gloves?" "No, but I wouldn't stick my finger in her twat." "Would you?" "Not a chance!" "Not even with gloves." "Our soundtrack is settled." " Is this okay?" " Perfect." "Should I bring ham and cheese to make sandwiches?" "Yeah!" "Grilled ham and cheese sandwiches!" "We should take those huge garbage bags, in case the old lady dies." "Okay, I'll get some." " And straws." " Straws!" "Did you remember the keys to the house?" "I got all the keys I could find." "About 200 of them." "One's got to be right." "Cheap suntan lotion." "Did you get that?" "I got the original." " Are you serious?" " Extremely." " No kidding?" " No kidding." " Let me see." " It's right here, hold on." " Rayito de Sol." " I can't believe it!" "We're going to fry the old lady." "You know, I think it's better this way." "If we kept waiting for the right moment, we'd never do it." "And she's starting to get too old, too." "You can't torture a person after a certain age." "Mrs. Jurema, I said immunosuppressors." "There's no such thing as an "immunoppressor"." "If there's rejection in spite of the immunosuppressors, you increase the dose." "Relax, Mrs. Jurema." "Write it down." "You're breaking up..." "I'm going into the garage." "Ask the other doctor." "Take your feet off the sofa." "Sit up." " Hi." " Hi." " Has your mom had lunch?" " Yeah." "She's in the bedroom with aunt Roberta." "How many vials?" "I have no idea." "The stuff is strong." "There's morphine in it." "They use it to help guys pass kidney stones." "Jeez!" "Three?" "Take four just in case." "Suzana!" " Hi, hon!" " May I come in?" "Just a minute." "Don't come in yet." "Roberta is..." "She's trying on some clothes." "Pick that up." "Quick, Roberta!" "Open it!" "Oh, God!" " Hi." " Hi." " Hi, Francisco." " Hi, Roberta." "She's really depressed." "Right." "Depressed and trying on clothes?" "What do you think women do when they're depressed?" "This old woman is going to the beach" "To give us our revenge" "Francisco, we have to talk." "Go ahead." "Roberta invited me" " to spend the weekend..." " Suzana..." "Have you seen that salmon thing that comes in a tube, like toothpaste?" "No, I haven't." "Roberta invited me to spend the weekend with her." " Which weekend?" " This one." "We're going today and coming back Sunday." "Are you crazy?" "It's your son's birthday." "Everything's been arranged, and I'll be back Sunday morning." "C'mon, Francisco, we've been planning this trip for years." "To the beach house where we used to spend our summers." "Beach house?" "It's a salmon thing in a tube, like toothpaste." "Haven't you seen it?" "You can't have eaten it all." "I know what you're talking about, but I haven't seen it." "Grandma..." "Guess what I brought you?" "Salmon paste, pure protein." "Excellent for your osteoporosis." "My grandmother's beach house, Francisco." "Suzana, your grandmother doesn't have a beach house." "Sure she does." "In Ipiaçoca." "Listen, you know exactly what I think of your sister, don't you?" " Has she stopped drinking?" " She stopped completely." "Doesn't touch a drop of alcohol." "Since it might be a rough ride..." "Enjoy your "trip"." "Enjoy it." "Hi, Roberta, it's me." "I might be a little late." "What a drag!" "Why?" "I think I'm going to have to have sex with him." "Yuck!" "Honey, she's feeling fragile and needs to talk." "Right." "I couldn't say no." "But why does it have to be today?" "Because she was fired this morning." " She's depressed." " Right." "You've never seen Roberta totally depressed." "It's serious." "She sends out negative vibes." "Suzana, I'm a doctor." "What's this nonsense?" "An urologist." "You don't know shit about women." "I seriously suspect she killed Ayrton Senna." "Not on purpose, of course." "She already has a hard time with Sundays, and that one was worse, it was a holiday." "So the usual Sunday blues were coupled with the holiday blues." "She turned on the TV, watched the race, looked at Senna..." "And he took the curve." "That's preposterous!" "Could you turn down the radio, please?" "A little more." "My sister's coming down soon." "The keys to the car." "Tell her I went to find a bar to fill up my bottle." "To fill up my bottle." " I've got his wallet." " Go, go!" "Do you have it?" "Waiter, do I need a table to get a glass of whisky?" " Of course." " So I want a table." "Wait half an hour." "Everything's taken." "This one's free." " No, it's taken." " I just saw the group leave." "The gentleman went to the restroom." " He's going to pay the check." " Waiter, please!" " I think they tricked you." " What?" "You were sitting with a group, right?" "Yeah." "I think they ran off and left you with the check." "My cell phone!" "They took my cell phone and my wallet!" " That's just plain mean." " Yeah, it is!" "How am I going to pay for this?" "Scotch whisky!" "I don't have a cent!" "Relax." "They'll be back soon." " You think they'll be back?" " No." "If you let me have the rest of that whisky," " I'll fix this for you." " Are you serious?" "Extremely." "Get me a clean glass with lots of ice and an inch of water." "Go ahead." "Lots of ice and an inch of water." " Where?" " In a clean glass." " A tall one." " A tall clean glass." "A tall clean glass, with lots of ice and an inch of water." " That's it." " Right." "Right." "I like the effect of the whisky, but not the taste." "Okay." "The ice makes it feel like ice cream, you know?" "And it's just enough water to hydrate the body." " Water is crucial." " Extremely crucial." "I get horrible hangovers because I'm always dehydrated." "Is that why you're like that?" " Like what?" " So white." "I like being white." "I like white women too." "I hate really suntanned women." "Those brown bottoms with bikini lines down the crack remind me of school cheeseburgers," " with frozen cheese." " Tanned bottoms remind you of cheeseburgers with frozen cheese?" "School cheeseburgers." "But they have great grilled cheese sandwiches." "The best." "My grilled cheese is exactly like the one from school." "Really?" "The secret is that, at school concessions, the grill is filthy with bits of other sandwiches." "So you know what I do?" "I rub pieces of bacon on mine and then make the sandwich." " Can I ask you a question?" " Sure." "When you were in school, did you throw paper balls at the other kids or did they throw paper balls at you?" "Both." "Did you throw more or get hit more?" "I got hit more often than I threw them." "Great." "So I can trust you." "Would you call this "lots of ice and an inch of water"?" "Yeah." "For God's sake." "For God's sake what?" "She uses cannabis, doesn't she?" "That's why Tiago picks on his aunt:" "Because of your nonsense." "That has nothing to do with it." "He has no idea what cannabis is." "And you act as if nothing was going on." "Thank you so much." "You don't even know me, and you're helping me out, paying the check for a stranger..." "Me?" "Pay the check?" "Are you crazy?" " But that's what you said." " What did I say?" " That you'd fix this for me." " I said I'd fix it," "I didn't say I'd pay the check." "Why do you think I needed the whisky?" "We'll use the old trick of the fighting couple." " "Old trick"?" " We're married, and I caught you with your lover, your secretary." " My secretary or my lover?" " Your secretary is your lover." "We start on the count of three, okay?" " Here we go." " No, wait." "I'm terrible at improvising." "I can't even play charades." "You dirty scoundrel!" "How could you do this to me?" "That's it!" " It's over, Adamastor!" " Sit down." "I'm moving out." "You impotent idiot!" "I'm going to step in front of the first bus I see!" "I'm going to kill myself!" "I'm going to kill myself!" "I'm going to kill myself!" "I'm going to kill myself!" "No, don't do it, Georgia!" "No!" "I love you!" "No!" "Quick!" "They're going to call the police!" "No, they're not." "Don't be such a wuss!" "Now we're screwed." "The police!" "Try to look like an athlete." "One..." "Breathe." "Two..." "Keep breathing!" "I'm totally screwed." "All the waiters know where I work." "The police will come looking for me." "Yeah, they will." "If they know where you work, you're screwed." "This only works where they don't know you." "Oh, my God, what will I do now?" "You relax." "Do you know that..." "What's the place called?" " Ipiaçoca." " Right." "You'll be on an interstate..." "If they pull you over, they'll charge you underfederal laws!" "The same ones that say you have to give your patients a receipt?" "Sunday morning." "You promised." "Sunday morning isn't Sunday night, right?" "If they find anything, say it's hers right away." " You have a child to raise." " This little worm?" "My God, I have a little worm to raise, a beautiful little worm!" " Here." " Thanks." "Are you taking your cell phone?" "Yes, but I don't know if I'll get a signal." "I'll check my messages, okay?" "If I'm not in a federal prison, of course." "Stop it, Suzana." "Suzana..." "Tiago's watching." "I love you." "There's twice as much nicotine in cannabis as in tobacco!" "So, let's play video games?" "I'll play by myself." "I may have the perfect solution for you, but..." " But what?" " You'll owe me two big favors." "Play it cool." "Hey, Boy Scouts!" " One for all..." " And all for one!" "Su!" "Suzana, this is Renato." "Renato, this is Suzana." "He's your neighbor during business hours." " He works over there." " What a coincidence..." "Nice to meet you." "So..." "It's getting late." " Let's go?" " Let's." " Renato's going with us, okay?" " Where?" "He's spending the weekend with us at the beach house." "Have you asked grandma?" "Think about it:" "A man could come in handy." "What if there are dead animals there?" "Cockroaches, spiders..." " I don't want to be a burden." " It's a huge house." "Su, he needs help." "He's an outlaw." "Oh, excellent..." "That's so much better!" "I'm not an outlaw." "He's one of us." "The kids threw paper balls at him." "This is unbelievable." "I'm not used to doing things on impulse." "Sounds stupid, doesn't it?" "But I feel like..." "Like a rebel, you know?" "Yeah, right!" "Genuine freedom, you know what I mean?" "For the first time..." "Free!" "I didn't think I had to ask, but you're taking pot for the weekend, right?" "Of course." "I don't know whether it'll last all weekend, but it's all I had." "50 grams." "Did you know this is an interstate?" "50g of pot could mean several years in jail." "Francisco said the same thing." "Men are all wimps." "It's amazing." "Listen, dear, how old are you?" "Yeah, how old?" "I don't know either." "Thirty-one, why?" "You'll be in your forties when you get out of jail, in your prime." "It's worse for women after they're 40..." "If the police stop us, we'll say the pot is his and we had nothing to do with it." "Exactly." "We'll say he kidnapped us and sexually abused us." "I know:" "We'll say we offered him a ride," " and he gave us drugs." " Excellent!" "Then he fucked us, and now he's making up this absurd story" " about the pot being ours." " Yeah." "He made us satisfy his terrible sex fantasies." "Honestly, I don't think this is funny at all." "Then he tied us to the seat and did awful cunnilingus on us." "If I had my cell phone, my ID and my money," "I'd get out at the next gas station." "Relax, baby, relax." "I don't feel like being "relaxed"." "Haven't you ever smoked pot?" " Of course I have." " You're lying." " Of course I've smoked pot." " When?" "Several times." "I've smoked pot since I was little." "Since you were little!" "So smoke some now." "One hit, just to show her." "I know what you want." "You want to pressure me into smoking." "You're the most obvious manipulators I've ever seen." "Wimp!" "Smoke some, Renato." "Just to show her." "Go on." "You want me to smoke?" " I'll smoke." " Go for it." " There, I smoked." " One more time." " I'm going to smoke again." " Go, go!" "I smoked again." "Now one more time." "Go on, go on!" "Which doesn't make it any less of a violation." "For sure!" "Let me dance" "Let my body become Odara" "My darling" "Let my mind become Odara" "Become Odara" "Let me sing" "So the world will become Odara" "Everything a rare jewel" " Anything you dream of" " Su, I was thinking..." " I wonder if..." "I don't know." " What?" "Do you think I have short hair because of mom?" "Mom didn't have short hair." "She had cancer." "There's something up ahead." "We're screwed." "It's a road block." " Hide it in your underwear!" " In my underwear?" "Go in there!" "I told you." "She never fooled me." "They broke into my anesthetics drawer." "Can you believe it?" "A sensational turn of events." "They're both shooting up." "Not a problem." "That's what the spare is for." " He's going to open the trunk." " That's okay." "He'd have to find out sooner or later." "There's an old lady in there!" "No kidding!" "She's your grandma!" "You kidnapped your own grandma?" "Wait a minute." "Nobody kidnapped anyone." "We're doing exactly what she used to do to us." "She did this to you?" "She locked you up in the trunk?" "No." "But she took us to the damn beach house every weekend." "And made us fry in the sun so we'd "look healthy"." "Straightened our hair, plucked our pubic hair," " tested our virginity..." " Every summer, for years." "We're going to do that to her just once." " For God's sake, you guys." " Revenge!" "That's it, I'm leaving." "This has nothing to do with me." "Do you know how many years you could get for this?" "Not "you". "We"." "You're our accomplice." "And a repeat offender." "An outlaw." "But we're just taking our dear grandma for a weekend on the beach." " The woman needs fresh air." " She never leaves the house." "Anyone would go nuts." "Nuts." "Do you know where the house is?" "No, but she said something about Itacuruçoca." "Wasn't the house in Sapuíca?" "She said she had a house in Sapuíca." "No, it's Itacuruçoca." "Or is it Ibateguara?" "This looks like Piaçabusu." "No, it's Itacuruçoca." "I'll just look for this house." "I've got to find it sometime." "You watch Tiago." "I'll call you later." "Hold on." "Take my pills, just in case Suzana has convulsions while she's in abstinence." "And take some sleeping pills for yourself, because you, my brother, will see terrible things." "To the dungeon with you, rowdy girls!" "For God's sake!" "Straightening your hair, forcing you to sunbathe..." "I'm a lawyer, and that's not torture." "Great." "So what we're going to do to her isn't either." "Serve the general some tea." "I'm leaving." "I can't allow you to go ahead with this madness." "Let's take the old lady to a hospital." "Listen here, if you want to chicken out, go ahead." "But don't ruin our weekend." "We've been planning it for 15 years." "Plus, she could have avoided all this." "All she had to do was agree to sell that stupid house." "We'll never leave Brasilia." "It serves no purpose, no one goes there." " The makeup, Roberta." " Where is it?" " In my bag." " So you want her money?" "Her money, my ass!" "It's our money." "Our grandfather built that house for our mother." "He died before we were born." "Yeah, from so much nagging." "When mom got pregnant with me," " grandma threw her out." " Yeah." "Mom moved in with dad and left Suzana with her." "When Roberta was born, mom wanted me back." "Get it?" "Oh, Emílio, Emílio..." "Emílio Garrastazu Médici, what a man!" "So, are you staying or coming with us?" "I want to make this very clear:" "I'm only here because I don't have my phone or my wallet." "Renato, I'm not stupid." "Everyone knows you shouldn't be mean to old ladies." "But I'm telling you she isn't a regular old lady." " Either you have the guts..." " I love you, my Brazil" "Either you have the guts to break the rule of being nice just because someone's old" " or you don't." " I love you, my Brazil" "I thought you weren't a hypocrite." "I was wrong." " It wasn't the first time." " Sure wasn't." "Let's not talk about ex-boyfriends." " That's off limits." " No problem." "As long as you stop calling Francisco "dirty-pants"." " What? "Dirty man"?" " Dirty-pants." "It's what I call Suzana's husband." "I love you, my Brazil, I love you" "My heart is green, yellow, white and blue" " I love you, my Brazil" " See?" "See?" "No one can hold back the Brazilian youth" "I love you, my Brazil, I love you" "No one can hold back the Brazilian youth" "Damn!" " Good afternoon." " Get out of the vehicle slowly." " I'm sorry about your car..." " Get out slowly." "You see, my wife..." "My wife got involved with heavy drugs..." " Evidence." " But I told her..." "Spread your legs." "Hands on the car." " It's her junkie sister..." " Shut up!" "Captain, take a look." "What is this?" " Hey, perp!" " What?" " Look at this..." " What's this?" "That isn't mine." "It's for my wife, in case she ODs, do you understand?" "Ow, that stings!" "It's over for you, buddy." "The judge is out of town and won't be back till Monday." "You'll be in the slammer at least until Tuesday." "It's the law, and we have to follow it." "But there's got to be another solution." "I'll buy you a brand new car, or maybe..." " Private Nelson, right?" " Right." "And my dear friend, Private Souza." "Let's make a deal, just the three of us." " Help me out here." " What are you talking about?" "How much?" "A thousand?" "Two thousand?" " Maybe three thousand?" " What do you mean?" "Are you aware that bribery is a crime?" " I'm an honest citizen." " Turn around." " I pay my taxes." "I demand..." " You're under arrest!" "I won't have you play that all day." " You're going to the club." " No." "You're not my mother." "Your mother is out with her sister." "You're going to the club, but not without eating, because a weak body is an invitation to sickness." "Come on." "Hurry up, kid!" "Because I've been an adventurer" "Ever since my first steps into infinity" "I'm always in outer space" "Because I'm smart, if you want to come with us" "Come on, it'll be cool" "Catch a ride on this comet tail" "See the Milky Way" "Such a beautiful road" "Play hide-and-seek among the clouds" "And come home in our beautiful blue balloon" "Médici, what a man!" "Why do you take so many pills?" "So I don't get sick." "Come on, pick up." "Eat." "Oh, God..." "Shit..." "Hello!" "Cleusa?" "You've reached the home of Dr. Francisco..." "Cleusa!" "Talk to me!" "The police are after me!" "I drove into the woods, I don't know what to do!" "Who would you like to talk to?" "Hello!" "Cleusa!" "I can't hear you." " Hello?" " Who is this?" "I'm desperate, Cleusa!" "Could you speak more clearly, please?" "Hello!" "The connection is awful." "Hello, Cleusa..." "Hello, Cleusa!" "It's me!" "The police are after me!" "Cleusa!" "Hello, Cleusa!" "I paid good money for this piece of shit!" " We're here!" " Let's go for a swim!" "Hurry up and take your clothes off!" "We have to go in naked." "Hurry up, Roberta!" "This is great!" " I'm coming!" " Come on!" "Take your belt off, you nut!" "I'm taking it off!" "Do you think there's hot water?" " There's the fireplace." " Oh, yeah, great!" "Brute force won't help." "You have to pull on it and turn gently." "Stubborn!" "Looks like a horror movie." "It is a horror movie." "I wonder if there are dead animals inside!" "If I step on a dead animal, I'll die." " You try." " Hold on." "Go." "One, two..." "Do you think there's electricity?" "I don't know if I'm shivering from cold or having a fit." "I'm going to open the curtain to make it brighter." "The empress' staircase!" "A trillion dust mites on your head!" "Don't worry, I'll fix it." "Look, there's firewood!" " Can you light it?" " What?" "Do you know how to light a fire?" "Of course." "A handsome guy, two naked girls, a fireplace..." "Things are getting good." "BEWARE:" "FIERCE DOG" "I did it." "Whisky!" "She's was born to pick locks." "Look:" "Cocoa liqueur," "Campari," "Fernet..." " Party!" " Party!" "Renato, can't you manage to turn the lights on?" " You get a strip dance." " Two." "Quiet, doggie..." "I'm just going to go around, okay?" "I'm a friend of the family's..." "Take it easy." "I'm going to go around." "Okay?" "Oh, my God!" "Help!" "Heeeeeeelp!" "He's cute, isn't he?" "Yeah, he's cute." "But he's a little square, isn't he?" "You know I have a thing for square men." "Who's the wimp here?" "I come out of your eyes" "I roll around on the floor" "Like a burning love" "Black magic" "Seduction" "Like a goddess" "You keep me" "And the things you say to me" "Take me beyond" "So close to legends" "So far from the end" "In the mood to share" "From the depths of pleasure" "The love and the power" "So close to legends" "She's beautiful with her black hair" "And her body makes my body delirious" "Her eyes make me want" "To go crazy, lose myself, abandon myself" "Quiet..." "Go ahead and bark, you damned dog!" "Go ahead, bark!" "Hey, Mr. Friendly!" "Step out of the car." "Let's have a little talk." " Hands on your head." " Take it easy." " I'm coming out." " That's right." "Good boy." "Here's Mr. Hasty, Captain." "It's a little cold, isn't it?" "Always on voicemail..." "If you haven't found Suzana yet, she hasn't called home, either." "Skittles the Clown called, though, asking for the address." "But I heard on TV that there's a gang that's been attacking children's parties, so I said the party had been cancelled." "If it was true, you'll have to get another clown." "Cleusa?" "I'm great." "Is Tiago there?" "Is everything okay?" "Cleusa..." "Cleusa!" "Cleusa, pay attention." "Pay attention!" "A clown called Skittles is going to call." "Skittles, Cleusa." "He's going to call." "When he..." "Oh, he called?" "Did you give him the address?" "You did what?" "Grandma!" "Grandma!" "Grandma!" "Grandma..." "Grandma?" "Just 2mg." "Lift her a little higher." "Just a little." "Hold on." "To the right..." "See how dangerous this woman is?" "Words can't describe what you're doing..." " Ouch, my hair!" " Save grandma!" "The old woman's heavy!" "Can I come in?" "Come on in." "See how nice we are?" "Ouch!" "Just 2mg?" "Damn it!" "That's enough." "She's biting my hand!" "Ow, shoot!" "Let go!" "Who are you, murderer?" "Ow, my hand..." "Murderer!" "Murderer..." " Roberta!" " Murderer!" "Roberta!" "Oh, my God!" "Get her arm!" "Her arm!" " She's going to fall." " Put her on the chair." "Ah, Emílio..." "What a man!" "I'm dead." "I'm dead." "Did you inject me with that thing?" "No, it was just a little prick." "Just... a little prick..." "What a man!" "Are you sure it was just a little prick?" ""Just a little prick"?" "Sun is health." "It makes our skin glow." "I'm going to peel all over and look like a disgusting lizard." "And I'm going to get sunstroke and die." "I don't know who you took after." "They must have switched you at the hospital." "Good morning, morning flower!" "Grandma, we don't want to have to drug you again, but you have to behave." "Oh, grandma..." "You look very pale." "You need a little tan." "We even brought your favorite tanning oil." "Or else..." "Listen, Private..." "This place is Itacuruçoca, right?" "No, I remember." "It's Ipiaçoca, right?" "No..." "Is this Pariconha?" "Itacuruçoca, buddy." "Right!" "I knew that was it." "Is that nice, grandma?" "The water's great, I'm going in." "Come on in!" " Here comes the water!" " Stop it, Roberta." "Your castle's coming down!" "Come in the water, Roberta." " Is it war?" " Stop it!" " Here comes the water!" " Stop it!" "Now is the moment of truth." "Let's see." "Exactly the same." "It isn't exactly the same." "But you didn't bring butter, just margarine." "It isn't the same thing." "One, two, one, two..." "Watch out..." "Be careful." "I'm coming." "Easy, grandma." " Easy, grandma!" " Stay still, grandma." "Hold on..." "Lift her up!" " To the second floor." " Watch the step." " The step." "Slowly." " Bend your leg." "Roberta, grab the stool." "The stool!" "Come on, grandma." "Brasília is over here." " Come on." " Mind the step." "We could do a little work on you this weekend." " Not a chance." " Yes!" "Some hot wax." "You know I hate that." "I get a rash." " I like shaving." " But you have white skin." "Your foot looks awful." "Pot!" "Now you're addicted for the rest of your life!" "And before people start talking about you like they talk about us, you know what we'll do?" "Straighten your hair." "Let's straighten that curly hair, so no one thinks we have pothead niggers in our genes." "Our dad." "Grandma dear, why such long nails?" "You have the hands of a whore!" "We can't let people think we're easy like our mother, right, grandma dear?" "I'm hungry for cuticles!" "Su, do you think they could get infected?" "Sure..." "Sure they could." "Ours did." " I'll be outside." " Stay." "If you can't take blood, we'll start with the "privates waxing"." ""Mrs. Judite's granddaughters will not have fluffy pussies!"" "I'm leaving." "Stay!" "What's your problem?" "Every torture session needs a nice guy." "Let him go, Suzana." "We can't trust him." "He lied to me." "Nobody ever threw paper balls at him." "Hey, Mr. Private," "I have the right to one phone call." "It's assured by the Brazilian constitution." "Pre-historic mammal with seven letters." " Never mind that..." " "Mammoth"!" "It's the mammoth..." "Excuse me." "Have you ever had that mark on your neck looked at?" "It could be malignant." "I'm a doctor." "Check my ID." "I could give you a quick check-up so you wouldn't have to worry, but..." "A patient of mine had something very similar." "He also thought it was nothing, that everything was fine..." "Then, suddenly, the thing spread to his whole neck, that cancer." "I've had this since I was born." "Well, tell me:" "Is it the same size as when you were a kid?" " It's grown a little." " See?" "I'm telling you." "I'm a doctor." "But you just keep calm, don't worry, because that's cancer." "It's cancer." "If you're lucky, it'll spread to your entire body, like Michael Jackson." "In fact, that's how his started, on his neck." "Next, the nose gets thinner, you grow straight hair, think you're Peter Pan..." "Ridiculous." "Hey, buddy..." "You're a doctor." "Check it out for me." "Now I don't know, I've changed my mind." "You said it's growing." "It could be contagious." "What if it jumps on me?" "No way." " Just take a look..." " No!" "Don't come near me!" " Do me this favor!" " Don't come near me!" " Take a look!" " Don't come near me!" "Stay!" "I'm not going to take a look!" "Yes, you are." "Just do me a favor and take a look at this." "Slowly, then." "Please." "Just take a look at it." "Relax." " Oh, it's white!" " Yeah." "It's white and large, isn't it?" "Can it spread to my body?" "This is a rush diagnosis because of the light, but if I were you, I'd see a doctor in the city, because the doctors here..." "Look at that!" " I'm afraid it may be serious." " Oh, God..." " It could spread?" " To your whole body, inside and out." " Inside too?" " It sure is big..." "And white!" "This is amazing..." "Be quiet or I'll stick a bullet in your cancer," "Michael Jackson." "Leave me alone!" "Stop it!" "Leave me alone!" "This was our favorite time of day." "We'd watch the sunset while grandma made dinner." "Are you done?" "The manicure wasn't that much fun." "Why are you like this?" "I'm just a practical woman." "But Roberta is fucked up." "For God's sake, why don't you forget the old lady?" "It's in the past, it's over!" "Do you really think I'd rather be here, torturing this hag, than home with my son?" "I'm here for Roberta." "She's never had a boyfriend for longer than a month." "Guys can't handle it." "Roberta has asthma, a fungus in her lung." "She'd had seven pneumonias by the time she was nine." "Are you making out?" "No." "Just watching the sea." "It's the same sea as always, isn't it?" "Yeah, it's the same sea." "She always hit on all my boyfriends, Renato." "Didn't you, Su?" "Do you want to fuck on the sand?" "I can leave." "Suzana was telling me about you." "Bad things, right?" "No, not bad things." "We were just talking." "I'm sorry I ruined the mood, but it's time to go." "Grandma," "Suzana is hitting on Tomás!" "Because she can." "She's prettier than you." "If you listened to me, if you ate properly, if you let your hair grow, if you weren't so skinny, the boys might actually like you." " Where's my car?" " Relax, buddy." "The captain took it out on a date," " but he'll bring it back." " Oh, yeah?" "Jesus Christ..." "We'll just go in the police car." "Let's go." "Play it cool." "Go to the police car." "Play it cool, to the police car." " Play it cool, police car." " I'm playing it cool." "Play it cool, police car..." "Open the door." "Get the handcuffs." "C'mon, open the door." "Get inside." " Put them on." "Hurry up!" " I am." "Take it easy." " Put the other one here." " I'm doing it." " The other hand." " There." "Hurry up, man!" "What should we do?" "For God's sake, aren't you going to do anything?" "I miss Francisco." "You go in front." "Where is she?" "That bathroom needed work anyway." "Tell Suzana I'm not going to jump off the roof." "We didn't think you'd jump off the roof." "Suzana said you used to sneak up here to smoke." "I'm sorry." " Can I ask you a favor?" " Sure, go ahead." "Leave me alone." ""Lots of ice and an inch of water"." "That's not your whisky, it's you." "You're an iceberg in a plastic pool." " I don't get it." " Yeah." "Your heart is cold." "Just an inch of feeling flowing around inside." "You should let the ice melt a little, let the feelings flow." "I get it, but I think we should forget that metaphor." "Never mind." "No, stay." "You can stay." "Stay." "I was enjoying the subject, just not the metaphor." "Shall we change metaphors or talk without metaphors?" "Talk without metaphors." "All right." "I think you may be letting opportunities get away because your heart is cold, shut off from feeling." "I think you were doing better with metaphors." "Okay." "Let's say you're Antarctica and I'm Amyr Klink." "Sorry." "Much as Amyr Klink may like Antarctica and want to stay longer, he can't, because of the cold." "The coldness of Antarctica repels Amyr." "Get it?" "Yeah." "Antarctica apologizes to Amyr Klink, but the environment made her that way." "But Amyr likes Antarctica just the way she is:" "Beautiful, white, mysterious." "She just needs to be less..." "If you just sit there in front of me," "I'm going to do my "five-second countdown"." "Do what?" "I have a five-second countdown for things to happen, get it?" "I get it." "Do you want me to do my five-second countdown?" " Will it hurt?" " No." "Well, possibly, but only later, someday." "Do it." "Really?" "Really." "Five, four, three, two, one..." "I'd like to state something for the record." "There's a good reason for everything I've done so far." "Someone could be forcing my wife to ingest very dangerous substances." " Can you understand that?" " Yes, of course." "And don't you worry." "I'll let you go at the first bus stop, okay?" "No, you won't." " What do you mean?" " You won't." " Sure I will." " You won't." "Why not?" "The keys to the handcuffs are at the station." "I'm just going to drive around to find my wife, my better half." "I have to do that, okay?" "Okay." "And you tell your boss I tried to free you, but I couldn't, because you left the keys at the station." "No problem." "You are not a hostage." "You're not." "And there's one more detail." "I'm not the real Dr. Francisco Pecegueiro." "I'm pretending to be him, do you understand?" "I'm trying to hurt the man's career." "I really hate Dr. Francisco Pecegueiro - the real one, of course." "Sleep tight." "Considering the following facts..." "First:" "Life is short." "Second:" "We've already experienced emotions equivalent to 20 years of married life." "Third:" "A grilled cheese sandwich has 240 calories." "Fourth:" "Sexual intercourse burns an average of 250 calories..." "Considering the following facts..." "No." " Convincing arguments." " Good night." "What are you thinking of?" "Nothing particularly interesting." "What?" "Tell me." "Skittles the Clown." "Is he cute?" "He was going to perform at Tiago's birthday party, but that bitch Cleusa called it off." "Who's "that bitch Cleusa"?" "Cleusa, Francisco's sister." " Her name is Cleusa?" " Yeah." "I could've died without knowing." "Well, that bitch Cleusa told the clown it was off." "That's what I was thinking." "What about you?" "What are you thinking?" "You don't have to ask just because I asked." " It's not a rule." " Of course it's a rule." "I was thinking of us, how you went through the same things I did, and became a normal person." "My life is far from perfect, Roberta." "You know that." "When I married Francisco, at least he was fun." "Today he's a square." "He gets home at 9pm every day, talks for 2 hours about urinary tract infections," " then goes on the Internet." " But you have Tiago." "I do, sweetie, I do." "He's all I've got." "I can't get a stupid clown for my son's party!" "We'll work it out tomorrow." "Do you know why they say a child changes our life?" "For most people, it's the first time they love anybody." "Real love, you know?" "People marry and live together without love..." "Then come the children." "Today I think of clowns before going to bed, not of smothering Francisco with a pillow." "Tiago changed my life, and I'm failing him, too." "We're the same, Roberta." "We'll never know how to deal with love." " Hi." " Hi." "Did you sleep well?" " Did you two?" " No." " No?" " No." "It isn't what you're thinking." " Of course not." " It isn't." "Actually, it is, but not what you're thinking now." " It's what you were thinking." " Slow down." "You know I'm stupid when I wake up." " Whatever, don't tell me." " That's not the point." "It was supposed to be a surprise." "What was?" " Are you ready?" " Yeah." "But I don't want to be made fun of." "No one's going to make fun of you." "Come on." "The great clown..." "He needs a name." "The Great Giggles the Clown!" "Careful..." "Take her leg." "That was one, grandma." "Now the other." "Have you decided what you're taking?" "The silverware and tableware." "Cool." "Two months' worth of rent." " What about you?" " All the records and the framed picture of Jesus meditating." "Renato, let's go." "Hey, Giggles, come on!" "What do you mean, you can't climb a tree?" "How can you even be a soldier?" " It's too high!" " You're incompetent!" "Hey, it's officer Nelson handcuffed to the car!" " Hurry!" " Let's go!" "Listen, Private, does Ipiaçoca end here, at this beach?" "Private!" "Does Ipiaçoca end here, just like that?" "Yeah!" "Can't be." "Shit, fuck, damn!" "Hold on, Private." "Buckle up!" "Why can't this guy stop laughing?" "I don't know!" "I think he's possessed by Giggles the Clown!" " So he can't stop laughing!" " Stop it!" "Play it cool." "Step on the gas, Roberta!" "Call the National Intelligence Service." "They can solve anything." "It's Suzana in that car, and there's a guy with her!" " He's got makeup on." " Makeup?" "Yeah." "Must have had guerilla training." "In pursuit of the fugitive." "Officer Nelson is a hostage." "I'll repeat:" "Officer Nelson is a hostage." "Don't forget, and this is very important:" " You are not a hostage." " Right." "You left the keys on the jail door." "Why don't you go chase real criminals?" "Cowards!" "Say it louder." "I don't think they heard you." "Call Emílio!" "I think I've been possessed by a racing spirit." "I think it's him:" "Brazil's own Ayrton Senna!" "Ow, my back!" "Brasília." "16-valve engine..." "They'll never catch up." "The guy driving the police car looks just like Francisco." "Shit!" "There's a shortcut over there." "Go!" "Shit!" "Listen here:" "You are not a hostage!" "Nothing!" "Nobody!" "Come on!" "Come on, everyone, let's play statue." "One, two..." "Freeze!" "Come on." "One, two!" "One, two, three!" "One, two, three..." "Everyone sit down." "The clown is going to tell you a story." "Sit down." "I'm going to tell you about the talking cricket." " Have you ever seen one?" " No!" "Neither have I. You have?" "It's Francisco." " Hi, hon." "Where are you?" " I'm at... the police station." " I..." "I was arrested." " Arrested?" "But why?" "I was arrested for driving under the influence, drug possession, trespassing, and kidnapping with a hostage." "And destruction of public property." "Oh, and destruction of public property." "But I'm not finished!" "Do you need a lawyer?" "Yes, yes, yes!" "No, no, no!" "Mrs. Suzana Pecegueiro." "Your husband's on his way." "He's a dangerous man." " Su, my love..." " Francisco!" "For God's sake, what have you done to him?" " Francisco!" " I love you, honey..." "I love you so much!" "Who's the guy?" " That guy." " The clown?" "He's your lawyer." "Hi..." "Grandma, thank God you woke up." "I was getting worried." "Did you get amnesia from the blow?" "Do you remember what happened?" "I came to apologize for breaking that blue elephant 15 years ago, remember?" "When I was showing you the crack, it slipped from my hand and bang!" "You passed out and were delirious for hours." "But I took care of you." "I did your hair, gave you a manicure..." "You just moaned and groaned and said some odd things about torture and kidnapping..." "You need to stop watching violence on TV, grandma." "Listen, I called a doctor friend of mine, and he prescribed this for dehydration." "I'm not crazy." "I remember everything." "Like what?" "The beach house, the cuticle-cutting," " the hair-straightening..." " So do I." "But it's in the past." "I've forgiven you." "The important thing now is your health." "You're the only family I've got." "Take the medicine." "Okay." " I'll take it later." " No, doctor's orders." "Here." "Drink it." "There..." "That's a good girl." "There." "Good girl." "Good girl." "I love you, grandma." "What a man!" "A gaucho!"