"It's amazing how much kids stick out to their parents." "You know when I daydream and go like this." " Dude you totally go like that." " And checks him out." "I wonder what he's thinking." "Guys, Sam is hungry." "Can anybody help me out?" "Sure, sure." "Pass him over here, I'm boundary to burst." "Thanks." "I'd do it myself but I'm all tapped out." "Turk and I had a milk fight in the parking lot." "I lost." "Ok, Chip, latch on, it's right there." "Latch." "Letch." "He's latch, he's latch." " Oh!" "Dude we said truce!" " Count it." " I'm off." "You wanna to go shoo some hoops?" " I have a baby strapped to my chest." " So I just won't pass to you." " Cool, same as always." "Or you could spend some quality time with your daughter." "It seems like you're giving me a choice but you're really not, are you?" "Nope." "She's not." "And the only way to get freewill back is to stop caring of you ever get to hit that again." "Am I right?" "Pretty much." "Hey Bob!" "Some of the other board members were saying tomorrow is your birthday." "So how old does that make you?" "Well, it depends." "Are we talking dog years or horny gold bastard years?" "I'll be fifty-eight." "I didn't know it was your birthday tomorrow!" "You're are definitely getting a cake." "I'll play what do you want." "Chocolate or vanilla?" "Wait, don't answer." "I'm gonna surprise you." " It's gonna be chocolate." "I like chocolate." " Uuuh!" "Fun!" "Could you also have the right mind your own damn business and I sing and then jam your face into it so the message really sings in?" "How is your vacation going in your firebreathing mother's house?" "Yeah, yeah, my mum's a dragon and I'm her hellspawn, we eat children whatever." "Listen Per, Jack misses you and he won't go to sleep unless you say goodnight in that silly voice he loves." "Jackie, you're getting all too old for that now, pal." "You're..." "You're four!" "I mean, people are actually even starting to understand about the third of what you say." "I like like my mama when bites a coast of pizza." "Fantastic." "Anyway, so no more silly voices." "Ok there, Jumbo?" "Solid parenting." "Glad I could help." " Damn, Izzie!" "You're looking good, girl!" " Thank you Sam!" "You not only have a sour spot in your heart, but you have one in your head!" "What do you say we hit up a Wiggles concert, then go back to my crib and pop up on some formulas, see what happens?" "Come in taste this brown sugar." "Taste this brown sugar!" "Turk, we can't make them kiss until Sam can hold his head up for real." "I missed this man." "If I'm not at work I'm taking care of Izzie." "I feel like I don't get to roll with you." "I just do goofy stuff." "It's just that when I have Sam I'm so busy, you know." "We're up at six, I feed him, I bath him, and it's poopy time, then it's his poopy time." "But that's why we need to get this two together right away." "They need to get married so we can hang all the time." "There's no guarantees, Turk." "The other day I had Sam in the hospital, and when Dr. Cox brought in his daughter, he definitely turned his head." "Ok, I turned it." "But I can tell he wanted me to." "There's plenty of fish in the sea girl!" "I don't need you!" "Like look at that!" "You are hot, baby!" "What is going on over there?" "I want to hit that, I want to spank it good." "I like to spank it, I want to get it to you." "I'm sorry." "Kids, huh?" "I'll talk to him." "Itasa Scrubs Team Proudly Presents" "Scrubs Season 07 Episode 05 "My Growing Pains" VO Subtitles" "Transcirpt: matters, Teorouge, JDsClone, Supersimo, gi0v3" "Synch and Revision: gi0v3" "The second I saw Turk I felt like he had huge news." " Dude, I have huge news." " I knew it!" "Carla get me the afternoon off." "No Izzie, "Just me" Time." "No way, dude, I'm off too." "And Sam's at Kim's, what should we do?" "What's the last time we did some stupid?" "Well..." "We told Rex we'd cover his shifts next weekend if he agreed to follow Hooch everywhere he went and never tell him why." "Okay." "I'm gonna ask you this one last time." " Do you need anything?" " No, I'm cool." "Hooch is crazy!" "I know, and the best part is:" "Rex doesn't know Hooch is crazy." "Hell..." "He'll know by the end of the day." "Anyways..." "What's the last time we did something off the hook stupid?" "Probably last is the second day at college." "Remember?" "When it wasn't just the two of us." "It was the three of us." "All right you guys?" "I know that we only met yesterday, but I have the feeling we gonna be best buds forever." "Hands in." "Chocolate bear!" "Vanilla Bear!" "Caramel Bear!" "Bears for life!" "If we pool this prank off we're gonna be the coolest freshmen on the all campus." " Here we are." " Let me do it." "What?" "Ijo les!" "Rest in peace, Caramel Bear." "Dude, just because we never saw Ricky on campus again, it doesn't mean is dead." "His parents came and packed up all his stuff, Turk." "And his roomie got straight As that semester, had not even gone to class." "All righty, then." "How are we feeling today there, Josh?" "I'm ok." "Little tired, Doc." "How about you?" "Well, I'm 47 and recently lost the ability to break down dairy products, but otherwise I'm dandy." "Thank you for asking." "Whoa!" "T.M.I.!" "Right Josh?" "Too much informations, huh?" "Tell you what, I'm gonna let you hang out with nurse "Early 90s catchphrases" here, while your parents come out in the hallway and we'll have a little discussion." "We will be back." "Look, Josh's bloodwork shows that he's anemic with a high white cell count," "Now, we are not gonna know anything for sure until his bone marrow biopsy comes back, but I'm afraid it might be leukemia." "Oh, my God!" "Well, hope for the best." "Ok, listen up!" "I need a volontaire to clear these schedules for tomorrow beacuse we're going to have a little party for Kelso's birthday." "Kelso makes my life hell." "Now, I know I usually cave, but there's no way I'm going to his party." "I understand, Ted." "Fine, I'll go." "Dammit." "So, I'm getting the cake." "I just need someone to pick up the decorations." "Fine, I'll get them." "What's happening?" "!" "Uh, and make sure you get 58 candles." "58?" "He told me turn 58 last year." "He told me he was 58 three year ago." "Great." "Can anyone help me find out Kelso's real age?" "You rang?" "I know you didn't, I just like saying that." "Although, actually, I do hear bells." "But now They're gone." "Anyway, I'll help." " Cool, ok, because, I swear on God, she..." " Hold it!" "They're back." "They're gone." "No." "Ping up." "Go." " Ok, because I thought..." " Stop." "Bells." "Bells, bells..." "No bells." " Why don't we start with that..." " Stop." "Go." "Stop." "Ok, we are both off in an hour, so I planned a plan." "You just said the same word twice in the same sentence." "You just did it too." "That is so weird that I did even notice that I did that." "Same word four times, one sentence." " Dude, you're in the zone." " I feel it." "What we're doing, today?" "Ok." "We gotta go old school." "Brace yourself from my arm," "World's most giant Black Doctor." "Turk, I thought we are agreed to save him from black history month." "Then where we wanna scare racist patients." "I know but that guy into a Ford asked me about I want to finish his fried chicken." "But you love fried chicken..." "And I ate that bad boy like it was my last meal, but I wasn't happy about it." " Fine, I'm in." " Good, because..." "I need this." "Oh, my God!" "That's awesome!" "Carla, look what Turk made." "Awesome!" "Idiots." " We heard that!" " We heard that!" "Josh's biopsy results." "Unfortunately, that's what I thought..." "Your son has hairy cell leukemia." "Now, the good news is it's very, very treatable." "If you'd like, I'll be more than glad to go in there and explain this whole to Josh myself." "We already decided that if Josh didn't help having cancer...." "We were gonna tell him." "What just happened?" "Do you wanna put your hands on the back of your head, like you do when you're upset?" "I do a little." "So, how do we find that Kelso's age?" "We pay a hundred people, age one to a hundred, line'em all up and see which one Kelso looks like." "I say, we cut off Kelso's legs, and we count the rings." " That only works on trees." " And puppets." "Ok, you guys have been super-helpful." "I told you we would be!" "Still, I think I'm gonna go tackle this on my own and let the 2 of you get back to hallucinating." "Or... you could use these keys to get into personnel files." "That almost burned me." " You know what I would have done if it did?" " No." "Burn for a burn, baby." "That's in the Bible." "Ow, Hooch is crazy!" "Aren't your arms getting tired?" "Oh, yeah." "You believe those people?" "Thier kid has leukemia and they're not even gonna tell him?" " Well, they're his parents, it's their right." " Oh, come on." "Deserves to know what he's up against, he can handle it." "Hell, he's more mature than most of the Yahoos in this dump." "Check it out." "World's most giant clipboard, huh!" "Exhibit A, through Z." "Oh, what's that, Per?" "I didn't quite hear you, I wanna make sure I get it all down." "Write this down, instead." "I, John Dorian... write it down!" "I, John Dorian, am a ridiculous 32-year-old overgrown infant." "I mean, my God, 2 weeks ago you were asking everybody if you shouldn't grow up." "Here I thought you were having some big epiphany, that... you were gonna be more than adult, now that you have a child." "My bad." "However, if I forgot to congratulate you, let me do that now." "Way to go." "We are all super-proud of you." "Turkleton, I hired you as a surgeon, right?" " Yep!" " Great job, Bob!" " Hey!" "What's up, you're ready?" " Yeah, I don't think I'm up for it, man." " Why not?" " I don't know, Turk." "Maybe 'cause I'm 32, and I'm a doctor, and I have a kid." "I mean, look at yourself, man." "You look like an infant." "It's probably time for us to grow up." "They say that the truth hurts." "And sometimes it does." "But sometimes it's just surprising." "Robert Kelso, born 1942." "Holy frick!" "Kelso's 65?" "!" "And other times, the truth just wasn't suppposed to be heard, in the first place." " How d'you stay, pal?" " Hey." " Mind if I join you here?" " No, go ahead." "Little Josh," "I wanted to take a minute here, and explaining what's wrong with you." "Ok." "Inside your body..." "It was a moring of dramatic walkups." "After one person dramatically walks up to another," "Like me to Turk, cause I knew he was mad at me," "Hey." "or like Ted, to Dr. Cox," "The Winstons are *** that you told their son about his leukemia." "You did what?" "I made a..." "Or Elliott, to Dr. Kelso." "I've got a secret." "What has 2 thumbs, a funny voice, and still doesn't give a crap?" "Bob Kelso!" "I added the funny voice to keep it fresh." "Well, I've got 65 reasons why you should give a crap." "You're old!" "Yes!" "I've been saying that everytime the doors opened for the last 2 hours, and I finally got my man!" "Come on, give it up, le this up him." "Still got time!" "We'll do later!" "Turk, I know you're probably mad at me about yesterday." " No, we're cool." " See, I knew you get it." "It's just time to leave our childish ways behind, right?" "Hell to the NO!" "I'm bringing you back, buddy!" "I'll see you later." "Are you following me?" " 'Cause I would cut you." " I'll go around the corner." "The Winstons aren't ready to litigate yet, but they're still angry." "You need to mitigate the situation because they have a really good lawyer." "Honestly Ted, I'm just surprised you know the difference between litigate and mitigate." "Their lawyer Tommy, I'm telling you, the guy's really good." " Wish you'd have my back on this one." " I don't have your back on this." "I just wanna ring sightsees for when you get" " your bony white ass handed to it." " Not gonna happen." "Doctor Cox, we wanna talk to you." "We'll set to Josh first." "Come on." "I really don't wanna go in a mitigation on this one." "Wait?" "Yeah... that's right." "you tell your parents what you said to me when I told of the gentlekemia?" "I already know I was sick, because mom was doing that weird smile." "Yeah, that one." "The only other time you had that look was when you told me grandpa died." "Sweety, I'm so sorry." "I'll be right outside here if you need me." "Oh my goodness, what's...." "It's my bony white ass..." "And it's till very much intact, isn't it?" "You just don't get it, do you?" "Get what?" "Chicks, ah?" "They're all soft and cuddly, but you'll never get to be with one." "Hey JD, I need a little help." "Relax, this is work stuff." "I have a patient who needs a perioperate betablocker and" "Now I was wondering if I needed to the continue his IV drip or intimateing bulses." " Well, I'd probably start them off..." " Yeah, don't care." "Check this out." "Hooch is on the verge of a major meltdown." " Why?" "Is Rex still following him?" " Not just Rex." "Three other interns are following him too." "They're all after this fellowship." "I said whoever sticks to to him the longest, I'll give recomandation." "I'm about to use the toilet right now." "So I hope you all are happy with the order that you're standing in," "Because if you follow me in there, that is the order that I'm going to kill you." "Oh yeah!" "Today is gonna be a good day." "Yes it is!" " Come on, buddy!" " See you later." "You read my private personnel files." "You could read mine if you want." "Of course, it says my name is Captain Billy Stinkwater, and that I'm half gopher." "Sir, I know that you're sensitive about your age." "But getting older comes with tons of perks." "I mean... you can mend more respect," " you get discounts..." " People think it's adorable when you two." "Look, I do not care about getting older." " Woooooooo." " See?" " And what your problem?" " None of your business." "Well, if you don't care then let us throw your party, there's gonna be cake," " And presents, and..." " We have to get a present?" " Mh..." "You can have any you want of my toolbelt." " Sweet." "I'll take that 12-volt cordless rechargeable nickel-metal hydrate battery power drill." "I was kidding." "Too late." "Hand it over." " Looks expensive." " It is." "Thank you." "Doctor Reid, let me make this as clear as possible." "I do not want a party." "Fair enough." "There's just one problem." "Surprise!" "Ted, these are Hanukkah decorations." "They were on sale." "Make a wish." " Awesome, thanks." " I'm glad you like it." "I stole it from my husband." "Hey Carla, I got you some Kelso cake, it's delish..." " And a dreidel." " I'm not talking to you." "Ok, now if was anybody else, I'd just say "Thank you" and let it die." "But, since it' s you, I gotta know what it is that I don't get." " Too bad." " Oh, come on!" "Ok, walk by, so he doesn't even have a chance to tempt you." "What the hell is behind his ear?" "I know you see that." " Why don't you just go ahead and grab it?" " Turk, I am not playing "hide the saltine"." "You know you wanna." " That's 1-nothing me!" " Yes it is!" " Wait!" "Why are you torturing me?" " Wait!" "Why are you torturing me?" " Happy birthday Dr. Kelso." " Ooooh, thank you." "Oh, my God, is that a smile?" "Well, it's like the last year, when the safety brake failed on Enid's wheelchair, and she started rolling toward our pool, I told myself: "Bob, it's already too late to stop it so you might as well sit back and enjoy it."" "Sir, I got you a power drill," "I know you wanted one for your hobby shop." "The Janitor already gave me one, nobody likes a copycat." "So what do I do with this?" "Ooh!" "Thanks." "Heeeey!" "So Bob, I just dropped by to tell you we need to find an intrern motorpathic surgeon." "Probably Dr. Hooch was involved in some kind of hostage situation." "Well, Hooch is crazy." " 65, huh?" " Yeah..." " How about that?" " How about that?" "Baby, have you been in my locket?" "'Cause i can't seem to find my autographed Michael Jordan basketball." " Autographed?" " Yeah." " Nooo." " Ok, we gotta talk!" " Ok, we gotta talk!" "If you speak simultaneously with me again," "I'm going to have to kill you!" "to kill you!" "I'll tell you why I'm torturing you." "Why would you stop being you?" " Because he called me an infant!" " Of course he did." "Plus, two weeks ago you were all over me about growing up!" "But I wasn't saying you needed to change who you are!" "I just meant that once you have a kid you gotta be more responsible, and you're doing that." "Look at you, you spend a ton of time with Sam." "Hell, you even started a college fund for him." "He started a college fund?" "We didn't start a college fund." "Baby, we're being in team." "How often does it happen?" " Get in the game!" " Right." "You're just as dumb as he is!" "Of course Josh had to find out what was wrong with him, eventually, but you were so cavalier about telling him and taking his childhood away!" "I didn't take his childhood away!" "Oh, really?" "Because Josh was spending so much time on his laptop, researching leukemia mortality rates, I had to give'im a basketball just to distract him!" " Wait, what?" "!" " Turk, we're a team." "Who cares about losing your childhood, I damn sure didn't!" "Yeah, because your parents were volountarily abusive of alcoholics." "Not that there's anything wrong with that, it was probably... very exciting." "Don't take your lead from this train wreck, if you're lucky enough to still have a kid inside, you-you gotta hold on to that!" "And if you don't have one, I bet if you think about it, you want your kids to spend as much time as possible just being what?" "Yeah the only thing I hate more than simultaneous speaking" "Is when people try to get me to finish their sentences." "Just being kids!" "That's right!" "By the way, baby, you're getting my basketball back from that cancer kid." "Oh, sorry." "No matter how old you are, you should never foget the importance of childhood." "Whether it's letting your kid hold onto his..." "How're you doing, Jackie?" "Yord again!" " I love daddy!" " I love Jackie!" "Get me a kiss!" "Or holding onto your own..." "Excuse me, young miss." "Would you like to sign this petition to make our hospital more giant-accessible?" "How many signatures do we have?" " None." " Dammit." "Excuse me sir," "Excuse me sir, would you like to sign this petition to make our hospital more giant-accessible?" "Becauseeverithinghappenssofast , it can all slip away before you know." "Uh, Bob, as you know it's a policy that administrators step down when they are 65." "Over the next few months we'll be searching for your replacement." " Do me a favor and keep this between us." " Of course."