"WOMAN: # Come all you lovely people Come listen to my song" "# About a boy who's the subject of my tears" "# His name was Danny Lee And he never done no wrong" "# He was the greatest boy in Notting Hill" "# Keep your mouth shut, Danny, darling They've got you bang to rights" "# Or you may not live to see another day" "# But listen to your mother For she knows what's right" "# And they'll never take her darling boy away #" "MAN: # Oh, I am a barrow boy And I cart in the lane" "# And I make a good living In the sunshine or rain" "# Come buy my bananas, They are all fresh and nice" "# At a shilling a pound You will find no better price" "# Come buy my bananas, They're the best you have seen" "# In the Portobello Market On Paddington Green # ...the pontoon he owed him and gave him my 40 quid." "So I thought I'd go to Kempton Park this afternoon, Porky." "You want to come with?" "Yeah, I think I might, mate." "Yeah, wait for me for a while till I come." "Here's your change." "You know, I can't stand these mugs that turn up on a Saturday." "They're nanny goats in leather jackets." "Scruffy, bleeding' artists from Chelsea, with birds that look like East End whores." "Well, what do you expect, it's the Portobello Market?" "Anyways, it's pushing up the price of Siamese backscratchers, isn't it?" "Aye aye!" "At it again?" "Secret drinker, eh?" "Jimmy, love, can you change this?" "All right, love." "MAN:" "Looks as though you've had a good day out there." "It's freezing standing on that stall all day." "Have a whisky." "No, thanks." "Here, do you know what an old fella had the cheek to say to me today?" "Look darling, why don't you get yourself all dolled up, we're going to a right party." "All the chaps will be there." "Ew, go away, you stink of onions." "Aw, ain't it nice?" "No." "Anyway, I'm not going to no party tonight," "I've got to help my mum make up 20 wreaths by Monday." "Oh, no, you go on your own." "But if you were a man, you'd offer to come out and help." "Well, I ain't a man and I'm going to enjoy meself before I marry you." "Here you are then, three pork pies and here's your change." "Lovely." "Good on ya." "Come on then, where you been?" "Oh, I've been hanging about..." "Cheers!" "Cheers!" "Look after yourself." "Ta-ra, then." "Don't catch cold." "It's all cobblers." "More like four quid wrapped round a toilet roll." "That mob's from Hoxton, been working the three card trick in the market." "Find a lady?" "Yeah." "I thought that went out with Dickens." "Not likely." "Half Jamaica is around here on a Saturday trying to find the lady." "Well, that mob don't need any telling where to find the ladies on this manor." "Go 'round the other bar." "I'm looking for my friend." "I don't care who you're looking for, round the other bar if you want a drink." "Aw, give me a drink." "Now look man, just don't push it." "Do you mind?" "Out." "Thank you." "Yeah." "Round the other bar." "All right." "Hey, I thought there was no colour bar in Notting Hill?" "Well, there ain't, but I can't serve blacks in this bar." "I'd lose all my respectable customers." "Did you say respectable, Jimmy?" "(LAUGHING)" "Aye, chap." "Lord help us, look who's just blown in." "The wickedest copper in Notting Dale, Mr One-a-day." "JIMMY:" "Now leave off, Porky, he won't be happy until he's nicked one, and today it could be you!" "Now I told you mob to keep off this manor." "If I see you on this manor again, I'll do the lot of you for suss." "Keep your villainy to Hoxton, there's enough villains here as it is, without immigrants." "You understand?" "Keep off my manor." "Right-o, guv'nor." "You're the boss." "(LAUGHTER)" "So you think that's clever, do you?" "I ain't done nothing, guv?" "I've got me barrow outside," "I've just pushed it out of the stable with six cases of apples." "Take that smile off your face or I'll wipe it off for you." "(LAUGHING) I don't think so." "(GRUNTING)" "What are you doing?" "Get out of here!" "(ALL YELLING)" "But I ain't done nothing!" "Ain't done nothing?" "You've knocked out the wickedest cop in the manor!" "He ain't done nothing!" "That's about two tonne of porridge..." "MAN:" "How long did you get?" "Six months." "Ah, two haircuts and a shave and you'll be out." "Not worth coming in for!" "How do you mean?" "Have you been in before?" "No." "What did you get done for?" "I ain't done nothing much, I pushed a copper I thought was going to hit me." "What's your name?" "Danny Lee." "Where'd you come from?" "Notting Hill." "Any relation to Britty Lee?" "Yeah, that's my old lady." "Oh, fancy that." "And you haven't been in prison before?" "Oh." "You're about the only one in the family that ain't." "I know Brit well." "Wonder she didn't straighten out the copper for you." "She's red hot at that caper." "Um, what I wanted to ask you was..." "As I was saying, crooked coppers, the public have got no idea what's going on." "Now take me for instance, I was standing at a bus stop, facing Selfridges." "I know where you mean." "And a woman copper comes up and does me for loitering with intent to pick pockets." "A woman, mind you!" "So I says to the magistrate, it's a pity the police don't spend more time trying to find the money from the Great Train Robbery!" "I expect they found half of it by now and carved it up between them." "So they read out my previous, I've done 18 cons, ain't I?" "DANNY:" "Have you?" "Yeah." "So the magistrate says to me, "You seem to spend half your life" ""at the bus stop, number 15, waiting to pick people's pockets." "It would have" ""been more profitable if you'd got a job as a bus conductor."" "(LAUGHTER)" "Yes, he seemed to think that was funny." "Yeah." "Ain't bad, is it?" "So he says to me, "I'm going to give you a chance," ""you'll go to prison for a month."" "Uh, how long is it before I can..." "Yeah, well, it won't be long now." "You don't shut up I'll jam these down your throat, you big-mouthed mug." "Oh, charming." "Now shut your trap." "Now, son, what have been trying to ask big-mouth?" "Well, how long is it before I can see my girl?" "She's in a family way and I'm worried about her." "Not for a month, son." "But tomorrow morning, make an application to the governor for a special visit." "Explain the circumstances, you might get a special visit." "Tell him you was getting married, he's very religious." "Thanks, mate, I'll do that." "How long did you get?" "Thirty years." "A thirty stretch!" "You must be one of the train robbers." "Right." "Sorry, guv'nor, for opening up me trap." "I didn't know." "I mean, I always get a bit excited when I'm going to the nick." "I'm all right once I'm inside." "Thirty years." "Well, we're getting nearer." "The Hotel Cecil." "And you don't pay no bills!" "And the next one." "One on to you, Mr Feenie." "MAN: # I've been here before When I showed him the door" "# Then I wondered how long it would be Before he would be back" "# With a ten for his whack, One to you, sir, and one unto me." "# Wherever they roam, Our pigeons come back home" "# You would think it was time that they knew" "# That this prison is the place Where they terminate their race" "# One to me, sir, And one unto you." "All right, turn out your pockets and give your valuables to Mr Morgan." "Three bob, three and a tanner, four bob, four and a tanner, right?" "Sign here for your money and valuables." "Four and a tanner, correct?" "When you sign, get in there, throw out your clothes, and pick up a blanket." "Next one!" "All right, on to the scales." "Put 240 pounds, Mr Johnson." "Right, Mr Morgan." "MORGAN:" "Go through that door, get into the bath." "One on to you, Mr Feenie!" "Name?" "Danny Lee, guv." "Sentence?" "Six months, guv." "Previous convictions?" "None, guv." "Offence?" "Assaulting a copper, guv." "Tough guy, eh?" "No, guv, I was pushing me barrow along the market, like, and the copper pushed me, so I put one on him." "They push me in here and I'll be pushing out in six months." "Well, don't try putting in one on anybody in here, me old cock sparrow, or your own mother won't recognise you, Pusher Lee." "Oh, yeah." "Date of birth -7th of the 2nd, 1940, guv." "Married or single?" "Single, guv." "Occupation?" "Street trader." "Maguire, 148 pounds, Mr Johnson." "Right, Mr Morgan." "One on to you, Mr Feenie." "FEENIE:" "Right!" "JOHNSON:" "Religion?" "DANNY:" "RC, guv." "All right, turn out your pockets, give your valuables to Mr Morgan." "And the next!" "(GRUNTS IN DISGUST)" "Bathhouse!" "MAN:" "What?" "One special." "Send him back like a newborn babe." "You dirty old git." "My old woman would go through me hair with a small toothcomb tonight if she hadn't run away." "Orderly, put a spray around where his lordship was sitting, will you?" "ORDERLY:" "All right, guv'nor." "Oh, no money, Pusher Lee?" "No, guv." "All right, come over here and sign for your valuables then." "Well, I can't write properly." "Well, do your best, boyo." "When you sign, Pusher Lee, get in there, throw out your clothes, and pick up a blanket." "Oh, give us a chance." "JOHNSON:" "Next!" "MORGAN:" "Less of your lip, and on your way." "Come on." "Oh, come on, darkie!" "Wake your ideas up." "I'm not gonna be here all bloody night." "I is comin', boss." "I is comin'." "Yeah, let's have your name." "Jim Ritchie, boss." "J. Ritchie." "Sentence?" "Fourteen years." "Blimey, darkie, you going for big ones?" "Yes, sir." "A fellow steals my wife and I shot him right here. (CLICKING TONGUE)" "But I was innocent, boss." "Really, I never meant no harm." "You're lucky they didn't put a rope around your neck." "Come on, Pusher Lee!" "Right-o, guv." "Half a jiffy." "Previous conviction?" "Six." "Date of birth?" "I don't know, chief." "You know, it's a long time." "Yeah, I'll put you down as 35." "Occupation?" "Film extra, boss." "JOHNSON:" "You'll be able to join the drama class when you get down to 'Moor." "Lee, 168 pounds, Mr Johnson." "All right, Mr Morgan." "One on to you, Mr Feenie." "Religion?" "I don't know, boss." "You got to have a religion." "Take one." "That's interesting." "You take the red one, you'd be an RC." "White one, well, that's C of E." "The blue one's for the Jews." "I'm a Jew." "So, from now on, you're a Jew." "Who's looking after the shop then?" "(LAUGHS) Hey, just a minute, Izzy." "Married or single?" "Single." "Here, look, you just said a fellow stole your wife and you shot him." "So how can you be single?" "Well, I am single now." "All on my own for fourteen goddamn years!" "All right, turn out your pockets and give your valuables to Mr Morgan." "All right, money?" "Um, five bob." "Come and sign here." "I can't write, chief." "Well, put a cross then." "JOHNSON:" "When you sign, darkie, get in there, throw out your clothes, and pick up a blanket." "All right, next one!" "On your way, on your way." "Here you are, me old chop Johnson, one travelling coat." "Mike Carney." "All right, I'm up from Dartmoor for me visit." "You've got thinner, lad, I never recognised you sitting down there." "Was it 12 years since you went down to 'Moor?" "That's right." "How you getting on?" "Oh, up and down, chum." "Up and down." "Keeping out of trouble?" "It's hard to keep out of bother in the 'Moor," "Jesus Christ himself couldn't do that." "Hey, Mr Morgan, remember I told you the one and only time" "I was on condemned cell duty?" "About the prisoner who was reprieved the night before he was due to be topped?" "Yes, I remember." "Well, here he is." "Now you've done 12 years, eh?" "You know, I was reading in the papers the other day how you was the only lifer left on the 'Moor." "That's right, one's gone back to the island, and the other got a special after nine years." "Have they fixed the date for your release yet?" "No, guv, worse luck." "Aw, never mind, lad." "You could be worse off, you know." "We had one fella come in to the condemned cell today." "I think that Ross is his name, you know him?" "Yeah, I've been following his case." "He done a five on the 'Moor when I started me life." "Well, lad, you must be tired." "You had any dinner?" "One on to you, Mr Feenie!" "Upsets you seeing London after all these years." "Near broke me heart travelling up here from Waterloo." "Fish and chip shops, newspaper boys, we passed a pub, they were singing and dancing." "I'll tell you, I was glad to get in here." "Could do with a nice cup of tea though." "Of course." "Orderly, get him a pint of tea and put some sugar in it." "I don't care where you get it from." "No sooner said than done, guv." "Here, lad, you sit down, I'll get on the chief's office about you." "Mr Morgan, you get the details on that tramp." "Hello, Chief's office?" "Oh, reception here, sir, all correct." "I've got a man here, sir, Michael Carney." "He's a lifer, up from Dartmoor, lodging here for accumulated visits." "Yes, sir, he's wearing prison clothes, Dartmoor-type special." "Can I pass him straight through, sir?" "Oh, yes, of course." "Right, sir." "Right." "Well, the chief can't see you until tomorrow but you can keep those clothes on, dine in the mess, and sleep over at the hospital." "I'll give you a pass." "You're all right for snout, then?" "Yes, guv, I'm an old lag now and I know the ropes." "Mr Morgan, we'll have those receptions back from the bathhouse, if you please." "How have you been getting on then, guv?" "I've had a bit of bad luck, lad," "the old woman ran away." "No!" "We've been together for 15 years." "I don't know why, I never thumped her or nothing." "Still, she might come back." "Go on." "All right, you lot, line up over there." "A doctor will see you lot first thing tomorrow morning." "Any complaints?" "All right, no complaints." "Hey you, Rothschild, you come in here a dirty, old tramp, and look at you now." "Clean and handsome." "Keep it that way while you're in here." "All right, you'll get your clothes at the park warden stores." "MORGAN:" "Okay, Carney, I'll take you." "Look after yourself in here." "Right!" "Lead on, single file." "(INDISTINCT)" "And stop your yapping!" "WOMAN: # I've been out on the blag Since I was eight years old" "# The stories I've grafted, The tales that I've told" "# I've brought up four boys And taught them my art" "# But Danny my baby Has broken my heart #" "(KNOCKING ON DOOR)" "Hold on, wait a minute!" "Shan't be a sec." "I'm just hanging up me washing, shan't be a minute." "(KNOCKING CONTINUES)" "Come on, Mum, it's freezing out there." "I thought I told you boys not to come around here with stuff in the daylight." "I've got something for you, I have, I have." "You'll have the coppers on our tail!" "Do you want us all to end up where Danny is?" "Don't worry, Ma, no one saw us." "Oh, this bloody, smokeless fuel." "You want to watch yourselves, you know, and you want to watch other people." "Our world is full of informers." "Half the people in the nick ain't there because they're catched by the police, they're there because of information received, that's what." "And the biggest crime you can commit is to get caught." "Leave off, Ma, we know what it's all about by now." "Yeah, so did your father and look what happened to him." "He got topped at the fill for 100 quid and that was all through a grass, an informer!" "The whoreson." "Here, and I've got something to say to you." "What?" "When you're licking your girl's ear in bed, don't go breathing no words down it." "Many a good man has been topped for what he told a woman in bed." "What, me?" "I don't never get a chance, Ma." "I can't even get a girl." "None of us have much time for courting, Ma, thieving's a fulltime occupation." "Anybody seen my Playboy?" "Where'd you hoist this lot from?" "It was strapped out on the carrier of an old Rolls-Royce that was parked outside of a boozer in Belgrave Mews." "Oh, I hope it don't belong to the mush who runs the place." "I used to sell leather outside there years ago, he'd often slipped me half a dollar." "No, Mum, it's one of them Belgrave burglars, you know, that wears jackets with splits up the back and all that." "And cavalry twill trousers, you know." "Well, let's see what you got." "It's a pity you ain't got no pussies, 'cause you know old Jim Lee, coo, he's had a right tickle from some of his villainy, and he's going to buy his old woman a mink coat for a hundred quid." "He's taking her to the Grosvenor Hotel, the Showmen's Guild on New Year's Eve." "Ma, we've earned ourselves a hundred quid." "What about that then?" "Well, if you play your cards right, you can have me tonight." "Hey, I think this must have belonged to some film star, smells smashing." "Don't be silly, boy, brassies smell lovely and they wear mink." "Still, you've done all right." "This is the real, genuine article." "I'm proud of you!" "I am really, boys." "Let's see what else you got." "Oh, a card book." "That ain't much good to you three, is it?" "You can't write." "Never got a chance, did we?" "Always out on the wag for you." "Well, I can print, Ma." "They taught me to print at borstal." "I'll bet if I'd done it a bit longer I'd have learned to write." "You think our Danny'll learn to write?" "Danny, oh my God, don't talk to me about Danny." "Why?" "First he gets himself six months for nothing, for chinning a copper, and then he pleads guilty." "Now listen all of you, never forget the 11th commandment." "ALL: "Thou shalt not plead guilty."" "Not even if you're bang to rights." "Who wants a Maryland cookie?" "Here, I'll have one." "# We're three jolly screwsmen and Ma Lee's the best" "# Whenever we make She invents our defence" "# The jury she straightens The bogey she buys" "# As Danny pleads guilty brings tears to her eyes" "# Singing doo-a ma-trimma ma-duffa my boys" "# Oh, we'll doo-a ma-trimma ma-duffa my boys" "# Now I am a burglar As good as they come" "# And I am a creep who'll turn over a drum" "# I am a holster so nimble and smart" "BRITANNIA: # But Danny the stakeman has broken my heart #" "Hello, Abel." "Hello, love." "Aye, aye, here comes trouble." "What do you want?" "What's wrong?" "It's the same every time I come here." "Look, I'll tell you what's wrong." "I don't want no Irish cockney hanging around my Danny, see." "The next thing I know, you'll have him serving at the altar." "Woman are the cause of all the trouble, the boys blow down their ears when they're in bed with them and then all the nicking they've done and all the villainy, it ain't a secret no more." "But Danny hasn't got any secrets from me." "And anyway, he isn't a thief." "Oh, no, he ain't, is he?" "But he's in the nick just the same, isn't he?" "He's in the nick with thieves, murderers, and blackmailers." "Innit better to be in the nick for thieving something, then to be in there for hitting old people on top of the head, killing little boys and girls, or raping and chinning coppers?" "Violence is a mug's game." "You never live to spend the money you make out of crimes of that kind." "I wouldn't care if he was a good, old tea leaf like his old dad, or like my other boys here." "They don't go round chinning coppers, do ya, boys?" "I said, you don't go round chinning coppers, do ya?" "Ah, no, Ma, you can't spend the helmet that falls on the floor." "Here, there's a few coppers I'd like to kill myself, aren't there?" "I mean, you take Hobart for instance." "He's a right animal." "Yeah, swing for him meself." "I mean, they truss you up just like a chicken, don't they?" "And then along comes Ketch with about six feet of rope, and then they kick you down this trap, and then a geezer sort of jumps on your legs to make sure your neck's broke." "Yeah, straight." "And if you're not dead after that little lot, there's a dirty, great, big screw down the 'Ville that gives an extra jerk on your legs just for luck." "Then to top it all, Ketch goes along to some newspaper and gets thousands for telling how he hanged him." "That's it." "BRITANNIA:" "Oh, lay off." "You still haven't told me what you want." "I want to know what prison Danny's in." "I've got to see him." "BRITANNIA:" "You stay away from him." "It's a bit late in the day for that." "I'm three months gone." "What?" "Do you mean to tell me that my Danny's put you in the family way?" "You dirty whore." "Oh, leave off, Ma, she ain't done no harm." "It's true." "Danny told me he thought he'd put her in the pudding club." "Well, then it's her fault, then, isn't it?" "MILLIN:" "Look, it takes two to make a baby, doesn't it, Ma?" "She led him on." "What did you want to pick on my Danny for?" "Well, I didn't want a baby, I can tell you." "It just happened." "Go on, take those cards." "Outside!" "Out in the yard." "Well, what about our game?" "Go on, hop it." "Go on." "You take that crap you're reading and get outside too." "But it's cold out there..." "Go on!" "Get out when I tell you." "I wouldn't listen?" "Go on." "Now listen, I'm gonna ask you something and I want you to speak the truth." "Has anyone else ever touched you, bar my Danny?" "No, no, honestly, Britannia." "I was a virgin till I went with Danny." "Oh, my God." "Here we go." "One of those, eh?" "(SCOFFS)" "(SIGHS)" "Well, my dear, lots of things can happen to you when you start having babies." "You'll lose your figure." "You'll get fat." "You won't be able to go dancing no more." "And some girls even go off their heads." "Come over here." "Come on." "Sit down here." "Sit down." "Now listen, why don't you be a nice, sensible, little girl and come back here later on, when the boys have gone out screwing, and I'll get rid of that little lot for you?" "Oh, no." "No, Britannia." "I couldn't do a thing like that." "It's worse than murder." "And Danny's pleased." "He'll be out before the baby's born and we can be married." "Do you expect my Danny to keep you and a baby with what he gets by grafting with the barrow?" "Well, I earn a few bob a week in the market, and I'm saving." "Anyway, my old man's promised to give me a caravan, and 500 quid if the man I marry is a worker." "Well, now Danny is a worker." "(CHUCKLES) Oh." "Yeah." "Yes, I'll admit that." "He's a worker, all right." "Why, I remember when he was just a little kid he used to sit up half the night making clothes pegs with his little knife." "All right, cock." "Now listen, you pop along to Pentonville, and see if they let you in to see Danny, and if they do you tell him I've got a screw straightened up and I'm sending him in some snout." "John!" "Lou!" "Joss!" "Get the van out and drive Rosa here up to the 'Ville." "Drive gently, mind, we don't want her to lose her baby." "Nor her dad's cash, eh, girl?" "Sit there and I'll make you a nice cup of tea." "Face about..." "Right, for the benefit of those of you who only came in last night, this is what you do when you go in to make your applications." "Stand on the mat, six feet in front of the governor's desk, give your name and number, make your application." "Right?" "Answer to your names and numbers." "6-5-9, Winters." "Sir." "3-8-9, Cook." "Sir." "4-2-7, Lee." "Right." "Right, what?" "Right." "When you address me you call me "sir", understand?" "Unless you want bread and water." "Sir, sir, sir!" "Got it?" "Right." "6-1-8, Jenkins." "Sir." "Sir?" "What do you want?" "Can I fall out for a slash?" "No, you can't." "This ain't a public convenience." "But I'm bursting!" "Too bad." "All men correct, sir." "Eh?" "You missed a bit out there." "It's going to have another coat, sir." "First man in." "6-5-9, Winters, sir." "Can I have a petition for the home secretary, sir?" "Right." "Next applicant." "One after you." "3-8-9, Cook." "Can I have a special letter to my wife, sir?" "I haven't heard from the last one." "No, you can't." "Have an inquiry form." "All right." "COOK:" "But you don't understand, sir." "I'm getting worried about her." "I haven't heard..." "Get out." "Yes, sir." "Next applicant." "One after you." "4-2-7, Lee." "Sir?" "Can I have a special visit from my girl?" "What's so special about your girl?" "Well, she's in the family way and I'm worried about her." "Well, if you're so concerned about her welfare, why didn't you marry her in the first place?" "Well, we were saving up to get married, then this happened." "I got six months for nothing." "You'll get a visit in 30 days and not before." "But, sir, her father might sling her out!" "So what?" "Well, she might commit suicide!" "Oh, I am sick and tired of listening to all this twaddle." "Out!" "But, sir, you've got to let me see her!" "I've got to, have I?" "I told you to get out." "Chief, put this man on report for disobeying an order and take him down below." "You bastard, old retired poof." "I wanna see my girl!" "Next applicant." "That bastard." "He's a game 'un." "Well, I don't know about him." "He's mucked up my tobacco." "Look at that." "And when he comes up from chokey, I'll give him a thump." "I'm not about to thumping him." "What about using him?" "He might fit into our little scheme." "Huh." "Why didn't I think of that?" "Now go to work on the screw when he comes." "And try to get him put in our cell." "Get the paint off that." "That tough guy wants taking down a peg or two." "That's just what we were saying, sir, mucking up our tobacco." "If you put him in our cell, we'll kick his teeth in." "You're gonna have a new cellmate." "Look at that." "I hate hanging around outside nicks." "Makes me feel superstitious." "Yeah, I know what you mean." "I always get the feeling if you go and visit someone you end up walking out on remand yourself." "(LAUGHING) Here, I knew a fella once..." "Oh, no." "He knew a fella." "Hang on, would you?" "I knew a fella once who said "ta-ra" to his old woman." ""I'll be home just after five," he says." "He was home after five, all right." "Five years in the nick." "You know what happens?" "I'll tell you." "He comes here to visit one of his mates, see?" "When he come out, coppers nicked him, didn't they?" "One of the screws inside been earwiggin', and he got his collar felt." "Charming." "All right." "MEN: # Mother's got the geezer straightened" "# Eating from her hand Or threatened" "# Mother's got the geezer straightened" "# She won't never let a chance go by" "# I done a stretch in Pentonville, So Mother bought a screw" "# She gave him ten a week and told him All he'd got to do" "# The Hilton couldn't never beat the service that he gave" "# He brought the papers every day and Old Spice for me shave" "# Oh, Mother got the geezer straightened" "# Eating from her hand or threatened" "# Mother's got the geezer straightened She won't never let a chance go by #" "Hey, Rosa." "Did you see him, then?" "No." "Why not?" "They said he was down in the punishment cell and he couldn't have no visits." "Oh, blimey." "Our Danny ain't half a mug, ain't he?" "First he gets himself nicked for nothing then he can't even keep his nose clean while he's inside, can he?" "WOMAN: # So Danny is convicted And they've taken him away" "# To do his bit of bird in Wandsworth jail" "# And the man that runs the prison is a man called Johnny May" "# And he's the hardest man in all the land #" "Two and a half furlongs to go, Criminal's a length in front." "Everyone in the nick is on that horse today with a name like that." "No, wait." "It's Golden Salamba." "That's better." "Yep, Golden Salamba's won it." "Whew." "Whew." "Thank God for that." "Good job, too." "We stood to lose 40 ounces of snout if Criminal had won." "Hey, Johnny, I hope they're not gonna stick a tramp in this peter with us tonight." "I wish they'd transfer one of them birds from Holloway." "That'd do me." "Get away, you can't make love on porridge." "Here we are, then." "GUARD:" "Hello, hello." "Getting all studious like." "You blokes makes me laugh." "Here's your new cell mate for you." "He's been down in chokey for a few days." "You better have a talk with him." "Otherwise he'll lose a bit more remission." "Up there, lad." "Ta." "What's your name, son?" "Danny Lee." "What's yours, mate?" "Mine?" "Johnny May." "And this here's Robbo." "How do?" "Johnny May?" "The king of the underworld?" "From what the papers say." "Anyway, never mind about that, son." "How long you been down in chokey?" "Three says number one, seven days number two." "I lost three days remission." "What for, lad?" "My bird Rosa, see, she's in the family way and I heard that she'd come up here to visit me." "Well, they told her I couldn't have a visit for 28 days and they wouldn't let her see me." "But when I saw the governor, I done me nut and called him a dirty, retired, old poof." "He may be an old poof, but he's not retired." "I remember him when his house master at borstal." "He's not on his own." "I could tell you about a few tearaways that was poofs." "I caught a merchant bang to rights one day." "Anyway, son, why don't you write the old girl?" "Cheer her up." "I'm not very good at reading or writing." "Well, what did you do down in the punishment cells then, if you can't read?" "Nothing." "Only thought of my Rosa all the time." "I'm dead worried about her, what with her being in the family way and all." "She ain't got no money, and I think her old man will kick her out." "Here, son." "Have a smoke." "Ta." "You mentioned money just now." "Have you ever had two grand?" "DANNY: 2000 quid, me?" "20 pound weight of chestnuts is about all I ever had." "What's the most money you've ever made, son?" "Twelve quid." "Grafting the barrow on election day." "12 quid, eh?" "It's a diabolical liberty, you know." "It's not fair." "Some have plenty, some have nothing." "What are you in for, son?" "Assault on a copper." "What'd you get?" "Six months." "Six months, eh?" "For nothing." "You want to have material gain if you're gonna come in here, son." "Don't ever come in for nothing." "Yeah, that's it." "Material gain." "That's it, material gain." "You gotta make crime pay." "Like Johnny and me here." "I mean, we've done a few laggins but we've got thousands stashed away." "We've been to Cannes, and Nice." "Nice." "We don't ever mess about, you know." "We stay in all the best places." "The Carlton." "Why, Johnny here's got a yacht tied up at the moment." "It's like a big cabin cruiser, yeah?" "All the crew on half pay." "We're doing bird for something." "Yeah, but I ain't no thief." "I've never stole nothing in me life." "Well, it's about time you started, isn't it?" "It's not new in this game to do bird for nothing, you know, and the greatest crime is to get caught." "Funny you should say that." "My Ma always says that." "Your ma?" "Where is your ma?" "What's your ma's name?" "They call her Britty." "Britty Lee." "Britty Lee?" "I know Britty Lee." "Is that your ma?" "She buys a bit of gear off all the oysters." "Yeah, that's right." "So you're Britty Lee's boy!" "Well, of course I can tell now." "God." "Here." "Now fancy a boy of Britty Lee doing half a stretch for nothing." "ROBBO:" "Yeah." "I bet she's choked." "I'll bet she is." "Double choked." "She ain't too pleased." "Do you realise, if you'd have been working with us you'd have had a few thousand quid for doing six months?" "Would you do six months for 2000 quid?" "I don't know." "You don't know?" "Tell us, what would you do if you had 2000 quid?" "What would I do, now?" "Well, I'd get rid of me barrow for a start." "Then I think I'd buy meself a lorry and a caravan." "Then, in the summer, me and Rosa could graft to all the fairs and the markets." "Then, in the winter, maybe we could get a stall down Portabello Market or..." "Six months, should serve four..." "That's £500 a month." "That's £125 a week." "That's more than some of them film stars get." "Yeah, film stars' money." "Tell me you're not in prison, you're working, like." "You've got look at it like a job of work, for 125 nicker a week." "Why, Johnny and I worked out our wages last night, and we've earned more a week this year than the Lord Chief Justice." "All right, just a minute." "Let's get down to brass tacks." "Look, Danny." "I want to talk to you." "Now, you know all about me, you know I'm a man of me word." "Right?" "Now, you've heard all about honour amongst thieves, haven't you?" "Yeah." "Well, that's all cobblers." "There's no honour amongst thieves." "There's a lot of dodgy characters in the underworld I ain't all that proud to be king of, I'll tell you." "But no one can't say nothing against me 'cause I'm rich." "Now, I'm a man of me word and I like you," "I like your face." "It's a pity in one way, you go out six months before us." "'Cause when we go out of here, there'll be a car waiting to take us down to the airport, then from the airport to Nice, where we'll pick up my yacht." "You could be with us with £2000 as well in your pocket." "Ah, that's it." "That's it." "Hey!" "we could make him second engineer!" "JOHNNY:" "Sure." "Me?" "Second engineer?" "I don't know nothing about boats!" "The only boat I've ever been on was with Rosa." "It was called the Jason's Trip, from Little Venice to Regent's Park." "An old converted timber barge." "Ha, second engineer." "You don't think we can make you a second engineer?" "Well, let me tell you a little story." "Johnny and I had a right tickle once." "We had 45 grand for our whack." "What are you doing, son?" "I wanna..." "JOHNNY:" "What are you, shy?" "Anyhow, we decided to become honest, just go out to Tangier and do a bit of smuggling, like." "Now, Johnny bought a boat at Weymouth." "Then we had to find a crew." "Are you listening to me?" "DANNY:" "Yeah, go on." "Now, the first engineer had 17 convictions for screwing and the only boat he'd been on was the ferry from Southampton to Parkhurst, Isle of Wight." "And that's not all." "What about the captain?" "Eh, Johnny?" "The captain..." "He'd learnt the art of navigation out of a magazine called Yachting Monthly." "So, I think we could make a second engineer out of you." "It is true on that occasion they slung us out of Tangier." "Bloody cheek." "Mind you, we're not gonna do nothing crooked this time." "This time we're gonna take a nice, quiet cruise round the Mediterranean to relax, like." "We'll have four to five nice, little darlings onboard." "Yeah, it's a great life if you don't get catched." "Would you like to be with us?" "You could have a nice Eye-tie girl with all the proper accoutrements." "No, I think I'd rather be with Rosa on the Jason's Trip." "But your Rosa could come with us, couldn't she?" "Yeah, yeah." "Of course she could." "Would you like that, Danny?" "Yeah." "Don't you think it'd be worth serving another four months in prison for, with two grand in readies when you go out the same time as us?" "Let me ask you a straight question, son." "Wouldn't you do four months in prison to get some money?" "For the sake of your baby?" "ROBBO:" "She's having a baby, isn't she?" "Yeah." "I suppose I would." "But what's the use of talking." "I'll never have 2000 quid as long as I live." "I wasn't never meant to have that kind of money." "JOHNNY:" "That's where you're wrong, son." "Anyone was meant to have that kind of money, if they want it bad enough." "You look like a man of taste to me." "I'll bet your Rosa would look lovely in a nice mink coat." "Well, anyway, you said you would." "I would what?" "Well, do four months in prison for 2000 quid and a trip on my yacht." "DANNY:" "Yeah, but how do I do it?" "How do you do it?" "You see, son, the whole secret of crime is straightening people." "Straightening." "Before, while, and after action." "The straightening irons, like." "Look, lad, you see all the snout in that there pouch?" "Well, that costs money." "It's brought in by a bent screw." "Straightened, you see?" "Look." "You see, Danny, on a weekend, like all British institutions, crisis or no crisis, war or no war, this jail is only half-staffed." "Now, the last thing they do every night, is they come round, two-handed, to slop out." "Now, Sunday nights, only one screw comes round." "And that'll be our screw." "Our bent screw." "Now when he asks you to slop out, what we want you to do, now listen carefully, is hit him on top of the head with the leg of that chair." "Not too hard." "Then me and Robbo here, jump on your back and save the gallant prison officer's life." "Now, for that I'll give you £2000." "And the screw gets a monkey." "Now you'll get an extra six months for that..." "But you'll be out in four." "It's only borrowed time." "I mean, you get six on, we get six off." "We lend it to you, and we pay you for it at 125 nicker a week." "Yeah, but I'll get in the cat for that." "No, no, no." "That's the beauty of it." "The cat's been abolished." "Have you never studied the law?" "No." "Have you never read the Criminal Justice Act of 1948?" "No, of course." "I forgot you don't read." "Now, look, to show good faith" "I'll send your Rosa £500 on account." "A monkey like." "She'll get the balance when you've done it." "And we'll take a chance on how much remission we get." "And never forget the yacht, the sun and the little darlings." "Well, there it is, Danny." "What do you say?" "Yeah." "For the sake of my Rosa, the sake of my baby." "At least I'll be in here for something, like." "JOHNNY:" "Of course you will, son." "Of course you will." "Robbo?" "Get a letter sent out in the morning." "Have it sent to the squealer." "Tell the boys to get a monkey to his Rosa, right?" "Uh, five days to Sunday..." "And tell 'em to give the screw, the bearer, £250 on account." "Right." "Now, Danny, here we go." "When we jump on your back, call us dirty bastards, and punch me in the eye, hard as you can." "And kick Robbo here in the cobblers." "And get a bit of slopping out every night." "GUARD:" "Slop out." "Well, Johnny we found ourselves a right mug." "But why'd you tell him the cat was abolished?" "You can still get the cat for doing a screw." "Ah, that mug won't know." "He can't read." "# Oh, Danny's my boy and I want no other boy" "# And I'll never let him down" "# From the East to the West, I know he's the best" "# From the Thames to Camden Town, my dear" "# From the Thames to Camden Town" "# Oh, Danny's my love and I want no other love" "# And I'll never let him down" "# Till the grass grows green in the Portobello Road" "# And London Bridge falls down, my dear" "# And London Bridge falls down #" "£600 in the middle." "What's that, Joe?" "80." "80 pounds." "Anybody want it?" "£80." "Anybody else?" "All covered." "Throw 'em, Joe." "Four." "Right." "Little side bit, I'll lay 2-1 there's no four." "Anybody want it?" "I'll have two 20s." "(INDISTINCT)" "Five." "Throw again, Joe." "Watch your strength." "Six." "Seven." "(PLAYERS MURMURING)" "Four and a dummy." "Gimme a monkey out." "Monkey out." "Darling, have I brought you luck?" "Oh, do me a favour." "Leave off." "Here." "Go stuff yourself with salt beef." "No strangers in the camp." "No?" "All right, we'll turn this meeting up for a moment," "I've got something to say to you." "I've got a stick here, from the 'Ville." "Johnny May." "Needs a bit of help." "And we must help one another, mustn't we?" "(ALL AGREEING)" "Right." "Now there's a bent screw coming here tonight from the 'Ville." "I've got to give him 250 quid." "There's another monkey to be found for another party." "See something's gone wrong while Johnny's been away and it wouldn't be safe for me to go near any of his money." "So I'm asking you." "I need a grand to start with tonight." "So dive deep, chaps." "(ALL GRUMBLING)" "Look, I'll start it off with a oner meself." "Here you are... (INDISTINCT)" "We're 15 quid light." "Yeah, here's me 12 quid." "No, forget it." "I wouldn't take such a diabolical liberty." "You only come out yesterday." "Look, something will turn up for me." "Look, mate, I don't want it." "Put it back in your pocket." "Wait till you've knocked off Mappin and Webb or something." "(ALL LAUGH)" "Okay there, George?" "As for you, mate, I'd turn it up if I was you." "If you're caught screwing once more, they'll throw the book at you." "Give over, it's all I know." "What else could I do?" "A man has to do something to earn his living." "Why don't you try poncing for change?" "I wouldn't mind keeping him myself." "(LAUGHING)" "All right, all right." "Turn it up, turn it up now." "Now, let's get down to business." "Now, you, Jenny." "When that screw comes here, make great play for him." "Take him back to your flat and give him a good time." "And don't never charge him now, you understand?" "What's the screw's name?" "Spring-Heeled Jack, they call him." "Spring-Heeled Jack?" "Well, he's a nice horse." "Talk about bent screws." "He's a bastard!" "(ALL SHOUTING)" "If he comes down here, I'll have him." "Now, listen, we've got a job to do for Johnny." "None of us like dirty, crooked screws or dirty, crooked coppers," "but they're essential." "You know that, listen." "He may be a bastardy screw." "Yeah, you wouldn't chuckle." "But crooked screws and crooked coppers are always most efficient in their duties." "That's to cover up their villainy." "So keep your feelings to yourself when he comes down here." "Give him a nice, big smile." "We're one big, happy family." "Number 4-5-7, May." "There's a letter for you." "1-3-2, Robertson." "One for you." "4-2-7, Lee." "One for you." "That's it." "This Richard keeps writing to me and I don't want to know." "Funny, isn't it?" "I wonder why these birds like villains like us." "ROBBO:" "Hey, Johnny, what do you know about this?" "I've got an income tax demand." "Here am I, earning three bob a week, and these silly bastards want three grand off of me." "It's a diabolical liberty." "I've never paid stamps or tax." "How can they tax a burglar, John?" "If I had to pay taxes, the Chancellor of the Exchequer would be a receiver." "I'd be compounding the felony." "They don't care how you get it or where you get it." "They're worse villains than us." "How you getting on with your letter, Danny?" "I can understand the first two words." "It says, "Dear Danny"." "Give it over here." "Let's read it to you." ""Dear Danny, I'm ticking off the days as they go by." ""I still love you." "I don't suppose you get much news in there." ""I don't know what to write about." ""My mum's in hospital." "The old man gave her a right kicking." "(DANNY EXCLAIMS)" ""Abel got chucked at the Old Bailey." ""Doris from next door has run off with a black man. (CHUCKLES)" ""I hope I can visit you soon." ""I'm writing this during my dinner hour." ""I'm working in a flower shop." ""I'm sorry it's short." "I've got to get back." ""Must close now." "Lots and lots of love from Rosa." ""P.S. Since I started this letter, a man called Little George came in the shop" ""and gave me some money he says he owes you." ""He says he'll pay the rest later on." ""He says for me to tell you." Good, there you are." "The chaps have done their part." "They bunged your Rosa a monkey." "Right?" "Why don't we do it tonight while our man's on?" "Yeah." "Otherwise we'll have to wait till next Sunday." "MEN: # One certainty's fixed in this life," "# Each son breaks the heart of his mother" "# Each husband will lie to his wife" "# And brother will strangle his brother" "# But life has its own compensations" "# Plus all that money can bring" "# For a yacht in the harbour at Capri Very soon draws out that sting" "# A Mercedes is better than walking, Havanas are better than snout" "# And the birds on the beach at Alassio" "# Are calling you Danny come home #" "Come home, Danny." "MAN: # My bird waits in Notting Dale" "# Until the day I'm free" "# The straightest girl in Notting Dale" "# And she will wait for me" "# For Rosa, she will be my bride" "# And she is all I need" "# I know that she will be outside" "# The morning that I'm free #" "Here you are, lad." "Have a couple of these." "Make you feel good." "What's the time, Robbo?" "I'll have a dekko." "How can he tell the time looking out there?" "Dead on 8:00 every night, there's a bird over there gets undressed." "It's a screw's wife or daughter." "She gives us a flash but she don't know it." "Is she about?" "About?" "She isn't half about." "Dear God me, she hasn't half got some form." "Cor." "Hey, get on them bristols." "JOHNNY:" "Never mind about that." "We'll have enough time to think about it when we get out of here." "MAN:" "Roll call!" "In a few minutes the screw will be around slopping out." "Robbo, we won't use the leg of the chair." "Ask Joe for the cosh." "Hey, Joe." "Send down the line." "Put old Bill on." "Here you are, Danny." "Old Bill." "MAN:" "Hey, when you get out in the morning," "don't forget to go see my old woman." "INMATE:" "Okay, mate." "See his old woman, all right." "She's a right tart." "I wonder who's sleeping in my bed tonight." "Listen to that mug." "His old woman couldn't sleep straight in a bed," "never mind be straight to him." "Cut the funny." "He'll be here in a minute." "Go on, son." "Get your pot." "Don't forget, when he comes, punch me as hard as you can, and kick Robbo in the cobblers." "Any slops?" "(SHOUTING)" "(ALARM RINGING)" "No, he's done." "I think he's done his nut." "Get him outside." "Help him up, quick." "(DOOR SLAMS SHUT)" "Come on, get up off the floor." "You're all right." "Now, listen." "When they ask us, say Danny's been acting very strange and muttering and talking to himself." "They won't leave us alone in here for too long in case we turn queer." "Danny's ruined me for life." "Bit of luck, we'll be out of here in a few weeks." "CHIEF:" "Michael Carney, sir." "Lifer." "GOVERNOR:" "Thanks." ""Michael Carney, life, held at Dartmoor, reprieved," ""is temporarily transferred to your establishment for compassionate reasons." ""Assist this prisoner in any way possible" ""to further the relationship with his wife and himself."" "Well, Father, another for your flock." "Yes, indeed." "One time he was a hard case, but I'm told now he's calmed down a bit." "Okay." "That's good." "Michael Carney." "Give your full name to the governor." "Morning, gentlemen." "Good morning." "Michael Carney, lodger." "So you're up from Dartmoor for your visits" "and you've been here over a fortnight." "Yes, sir." "Who will be visiting you?" "Me wife, I hope." "What?" "Well, you know, sir, 12 years is a long time for a woman to wait." "It might be another three or four years before I get my release." "So you've no fixed date of release." "No, sir." "That's the worst part about it." "Year after year, not knowing if you're ever getting out." "Just hoping, wishing..." "A fixed date of release would be..." "Well, it would be better, sir." "I hope you have some luck." "I understand you've been dining in the mess, and we're doing all we can for you." "We'll have to do what we can." "Of course, we haven't got the same sort of facilities here that you have at Dartmoor." "I mean, playing musical instruments, football, and so on." "Anyhow, behave yourself." "MAN:" "Right, Carney." "Give me extension of visit if my wife comes, sir." "I haven't seen her for 12 years." "Arrange that, Chief." "I'll do it, sir." "I'll run along, Governor, if I may." "I'd like a few words with Carney." "Right you are, Father." "Send in the first applicant, Chief." "Right, sir." "First applicant." "Give your full name and number to the governor." "5-8-8, Anthony Hobbs, sir." "Yes, Hobbs?" "Well, sir, Moss and White in D1 mess have been trafficking, sir." "And Officer Hill." "He was bringing in a parcel of tobacco for them." "In the morning, sir." "I must warn you that if this accusation against Officer Hill proves to be false, you'll be liable for punishment." "Do you still persist in it?" "Yes, sir." "Right, Hobbs." "CHIEF:" "Outside, Hobbs." "Have Moss and White searched before they enter the mess." "Have Officer Hill searched when he comes on duty." "Right, sir." "Right." "Next applicant." "Give your full name and number to the governor." "Number 1-6-3, Samuel David Goldstein, sir." "Yes, Goldstein?" "Sir, I want protection" "from the Hoxton Gang, sir." "What for?" "They're going to use a razor on me, sir." "What for?" "They think I cheated them out of £2,000 worth of furs and then gave them away to the police before they was paid, sir." "But I didn't do it, sir!" "Right, Goldstein." "Chief, see to this." "Yes, sir." "CHIEF:" "All right, Goldstein." "Thank you, sir." "(SIGHS) That man's a rat, sir." "We must protect even rats in these cells as well." "Yes, sir." "I've got May and Robertson outside, sir." "The officer who was attacked last night said these two men saved his life." "Oh, yes." "Well, how is the officer now, Chief?" "I'm afraid he's in a pretty bad way, sir." "He's only just regained consciousness." "I think we ought to tighten this place up, sir." "Yes, Chief, I agree with you." "Have the prison searched for weapons," "and enforce the silence rule." "I'll do that, sir." "May and Robertson, sir." "May I suggest that you grant them an extra remission of sentence?" "Let's have a look at their records first." "Right, sir." "John May, sir." ""May." "Industrial school, borstal, revoked licence, borstal," ""three convictions for robberies with violence," ""two for malicious wounding, 2 3 convictions in all."" "Yes." "Now Robertson." "Sir." "(MUMBLING) Same pattern." "Let's have them in, Chief." "Yes, sir." "May." "Robertson." "Give your full name and number to the governor." "4-5-7, May." "1-3-2." "Robertson, sir." "Officer Jackson, who was savagely attacked last night, stated that you two men were responsible for saving his life." "I see you've both been well-behaved during this sentence, and you've only a few months to do." "I'm going to recommend to the prison commissioners that you're both given special remission of sentence because I want to thank you both." "We shall be taking a full statement from you both later on and you may have to give evidence before the visiting magistrates." "Are you prepared to do this, May?" "Yes, sir." "Robertson?" "I suppose so, sir." "Right." "Now go back to work until I send for you." "(KNOCKING ON DOOR)" "My God, sir." "What is it, Chief?" "May and Robertson." "You both saw Lee attack Officer Jackson?" "Is that right?" "JOHNNY:" "Yes, sir." "Made an unprovoked attack upon him with this weapon?" "Is that right?" "Well, I thanked you both just now for saving Officer Jackson's life." "I'm sorry to have to say now that you witnessed a murder." "Prison Officer Jackson is dead." "WOMAN: # Now Danny is in hospital in Brixton waiting turn" "# With Silent Sam, the gangster, on his right" "# On his left a madman who has sworn to clear the Holy Mile" "# Of prostitutes who hustle there at night #" "No." "Silent Sam's got one." "That lousy bastard wouldn't give you the time." "Thinks because he shot a fellow in the club and his mob's got plenty of money, he's got a superiority complex." "Thinks I'm a mug because I strangled a whore." "If she gave him what she gave me, he'd strangle her as well." "To think it cost me 2 quid for a dose of the pox." "Sorry now I didn't strangle a few more, like Jack the Ripper." "Silent Sam!" "You're going to swing, right on the end of a bloody, great piece of string!" "Quiet." "Hey, knuckles, knuckles." "The whole world's a lot of knuckles." "And you'll all finish up with a knuckle job!" "MAN: # I killed a whore in Kensal Town Hullaballo bailay" "# She picked me up and I struck her down Hullabaloo bailay" "# Hullabaloo bela bailay For overcharging me half a crown" "# Hullabaloo bailay" "# I killed a whore in Notting Hill Hullabaloo bailay" "# I buried her deep and she's lying there still" "# Hullabaloo bela bailay Hullabaloo bela bailay" "# She overrated her lip through skill" "# Hullabaloo bailay" "# I killed three whores and I'll kill one more" "# Hullabaloo bailay" "# I've killed three whores And I'll make it four" "# Hullabaloo bailay" "# Hullabaloo belah bailay Cause I'm declaring a holy war" "# Hullabaloo bailay #" "I hope they don't hang him." "He's as mad as a March hare." "He ought to be in Broadmoor, really." "The sooner, the better." "Couldn't sleep last night because of his raving." "Yeah." "OFFICER:" "One on to you, sir." "Put him in number two, there." "That's the one, son." "OFFICER:" "Take off the tie, son." "Give it here." "Give us your shoelaces." "Shoelaces?" "What's it all about?" "My shoes will flop about." "Give us your laces." "Just so you can't harm yourself." "There you are, son." "Go to kip when you like." "When can I see my girl?" "I've got a headache." "I'll get you something for it." "(GROANS) Bloody banging about." "There ain't no peace on this earth." "Charlie, where's my tea?" "CHARLIE:" "Coming, Nobby." "Just getting some aspirins for your new cellmate." "New cellmate, eh?" "Hey, you!" "What's your name?" "Lee." "Danny Lee." "NOBBY:" "You're the one that killed a screw!" "I didn't ever mean to." "Have you got any snout?" "Yeah." "Hang on." "I'll sling some across." "Charlie, where's my bloody tea?" "CHARLIE:" "All right, Nobby." "I'll go and get it now." "Now that he's gone, hey, tell me, why did you kill the screw?" "I don't know." "I suppose I must have hit him too hard." "You must be crazy." "But if you're not crazy, do you know what they'll do to you?" "They'll put you in a condemned cell for three clear Sundays." "That's the law." "Then they'll truss you up like a chicken." "The hangman hits you over the head with a sack full of crap and throws you down, down the hole, and that dirty, big screw swings onto your feet and gives your neck an extra jolt." "For a little chew of my pox." "There ain't no peace on this earth." "We're better off to be dead." "I think I'll strangle the hangman.." "No, I won't." "I'll do in Charlie." "Charlie, where's my bloody tea?" "Hurry up, Charlie!" "Because when I've had my tea I'm going to kill you." "CHARLIE:" "All right, son." "All right, Charlie." "Come and meet thy maker." "CHARLIE:" "I'll keep your tea hot for you." "Give us your mug, Nobby." "(EXCLAIMS)" "I'm gonna kill him, Charlie." "(GASPING)" "Because there ain't no peace on this earth." "(ALARM RINGING) -(CHOKING)" "Come on, at the double!" "OFFICER:" "All right, take it easy, take it easy." "He's coming up first thing after lunch." "Number one court." "Ma's scheming." "Ah, a proper mug is our Danny." "First he gets himself half a stretch for nothing, now he's up on a murder charge." "My own flesh and blood." "See that little bloke, that one with glasses on, going round that corner?" "Well, he's a waiting juror, and he's on our Danny's jury." "I've been on his tail." "Well, boys." "I've got to do something." "He's one of our own, you know." "Sink or swim, even if I get my collar felt, I've got to help my Danny." "Yes, Ma." "We don't want you in the nick and all." "Ma." "Let me have a go at the geezer." "I'll straighten him out." "No, no." "You leave this to me." "I'll do it my own way." "You'll only mess it up." "Smarten me up." "I've got to get rid of this stuff." "Here, put those pussies away." "You take my jewellery." ""Here lies the body of Emma Golightly," ""who passed away in 1865, age 23."" "Cor, she must have been rich to have a lovely gravestone like that, eh, sir?" "You wonder." "She might have been a beautiful actress or just been the daughter of a cabinet maker." "Death's a funny thing, ain't it, sir?" "It ain't no respecter of class." "'Course it do depend how you die." "Now, my Bert, my old man, he's dying of cancer." "And he's worked so hard all his life." "I'm sorry." "Would you mind if I sat down beside you, sir?" "It's my knees, you see." "I've got arthritis." "I'm a cleaner, you see, sir." "'Round the corner at St Barts Hospital." "And of course, I'm kneeling all day and that don't help." "This is my lunch hour." "Have an apple." "No, thank you." "It's my teeth." "They're new and they ain't settled in yet." "As I was saying, we never think of death, do we, sir?" "Not till it strikes our own." "Now, my Bert." "He's worked so hard as a cabinet maker all his life." "Cabinet maker, eh?" "I'm a cabinet maker." "Well, fancy that." "Ain't it a small world?" "Have you got any children, sir?" "No." "Wish I had." "Not even married." "45 and still a bachelor." "No one loves me." "Oh, don't be silly." "Your mother loves you." "Oh, yes, she..." "There's nothing like a mother's love and she's always there to look after you." "I suppose you're right." "She gets me sandwiches, makes sure I have two apples, gets me up for work at 6, sees I go out every day." "She thinks I've gone to work today." "She doesn't know I've got to go across there on a jury at 2:00." "She's 78." "I don't want to upset her." "She's against these hangings, and..." "I think she's right." "I'm sure she is, sir." "I'm sure she is." "But if you ain't sure, there's only one thing you can do." "What's that?" "You must talk the jury into finding your man not guilty." "You see that figure up there?" "Holding what they call the Scales of Justice?" "What?" "They're the actual scales of justice." "And do you know what she'd say if she could speak?" "She'd ask for the inspector of weights and measures." "Them weights are very dodgy, sir." "Are you Daniel Lee?" "Yes, guv." "Daniel Lee, you are charged with capital murder, the particulars being that you on the 13th day of 1965 in the county of London murdered Arthur Jackson, he being a prison officer acting in the course of his duty." "Do you plead guilty or not guilty?" "Well, I'm guilty in a way." "Cor, Danny boy is pleading guilty." "It's not as simple as that." "I didn't mean to kill him." "Are you then pleading not guilty?" "No, I done it." "But it wasn't murder." "You see, there was these two fellas..." "Are you admitting that you struck Mr Jackson?" "Yes, guv." "And when you struck Mr Jackson" "what did you mean to do to him?" "I wanted to do him up a bit." "By that I presume that you mean that you intended to injure him." "MAN: ...where the killer has inflicted grievous bodily harm unto his victim by a voluntary act which causes the death of the victim and which was intended to cause grievous bodily harm, and there exists implied malice which constitutes malice aforethought" "and which accordingly renders a killing murder." "MAN 1:" "My Lord here..." "He has told me repeatedly that he has no desire to deceive the court by telling lies and that accordingly he wishes to plead guilty." "I had explained to him the full implications of such a plea." "MAN: ...that you suffer death in the manner authorised by law." "So be it." "WOMAN: # For three clear Sundays Danny now is in the condemned cell" "# Waiting for the morning he must die" "# He'd count the hours passing by the tolling of the bell" "# And before him sees the grave Where he will lie #" "I'm very happy to see you again, Daniel." "Would you mind?" "Thank you very much." "Yes, Father." "Well, then, how are you?" "Well, Father, I don't really know." "I wanted to see you because I'm so worried about Rosa." "Yes?" "She's having a baby soon." "My old mum don't like her much, and the screws in here are a lot of mugs." "I wanted you to help." "Is she a Catholic?" "Yes, Father." "Were you going to marry her in the Catholic church?" "Well, Father, we hadn't really thought about anything like that." "You see, none of us had much schooling, and my old mum didn't think much of it, and I never thought much about it myself until now." "Well, most people, Danny, turn to God during suffering." "Now, have you received the sacrament recently?" "It's 10 years, Father." "I've not been to confession or communion since I was a little kid." "Well, would you like me to come and say a mass in here tomorrow morning?" "Would you like to make a good confession for me now?" "I'd like to, Father, but I can't remember what to say," "I've forgotten the words." "I've never been confirmed, like." "I've committed a lot of sins." "It would take too long." "Don't worry about that now." "That's nothing." "I'll help you." "Come now and confess to me." "All right, Father." "I think I can remember the first bit." "Good." "Yes?" "Yes?" "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned." "That's it." "Yes, yes." "I..." "I..." "Sit down, Daniel." "Sit, sit, sit." "Sit up." "Take your time, there's no hurry." "Is that all right, Father?" "Yes, of course it is." "Now, tell me everything you can remember doing wrong." "Well, I've always been getting into fights all me life." "Yes." "I've been in fights since I was 14." "I've given Abel a black eye." "And I've been with my Rosa and wasn't ever married." "I've told a lot of lies." "Oh, I'm a terrible villain, really, Father." "God will never forgive me, I'll finish up in Hell, won't I?" "No, no, you won't, Danny." "Unless you die with mortal sin on your soul." "Now, tell me all about this murder you were charged with." "Don't be afraid." "You see you've left it out." "No, Father, I haven't left nothing out." "I know you won't believe me, but I never meant that screw no harm." "He was in it anyway." "It was supposed to be a sort of pantomime, like." "You see?" "Yeah, I see, I see." "But, Danny, you know that whatever you say to me in confession will remain a secret." "I shall never tell anyone." "I shall forget it myself." "You know that." "You believe in me, Danny, don't you?" "And you believe in God." "Yes, Father," "but I never meant to..." "You still say you didn't mean him any harm." "Yes, Father, that's the truth." "Good." "Very well then." "Now, is there anything else now you'd like to tell me?" "No, Father, nothing." "Yes?" "Only I don't want to die." "(SOBS) I hate the bastards that put me in here." "It ain't right that a man should have to die for something he'd done accidental." "Believe me, Danny, I understand how you feel." "But don't feel too bitter about it as it can only harm you." "Remember, Danny, that our blessed Lord himself was condemned to death after a trial that was a mockery of justice and under laws that were unjust." "He too suffered all that you are suffering now." "Now, make a good act of contrition and for your penance say five Our Fathers and five Hail Marys." "Oh, my God..." "Oh, my God..." "..." "I am heartily sorry..." "..." "I am heartily sorry..." "...for all my sins..." "...for all my sins because they deserve thy dreadful punishment, because they have crucified my loving saviour" "Jesus Christ." "..." "Jesus Christ." "But most of all because they offend thy infinite goodness." "And I firmly resolve with the hope of thy grace to offend thee no more and carefully to avoid" "the occasions of sin." "...the occasions of sin." "Good." "Now... (SPEAKING LATIN)" "God bless you, Danny." "Well, now, Danny, I hope you feel better." "Have you got your rosary?" "What?" "Have you got your rosary beads?" "No, Father, I lost them when I was a kid." "Oh." "Well, then you'd better take mine." "There you are." "Thank you, Father." "I shall ask the bishop to come and confirm you." "And tomorrow morning I shall be here myself at 7:00 to say mass." "So, Danny, keep your heart open" "and goodbye till then." "Goodbye, Father." "All right, Danny boy?" "There's a letter for you, it's just come." "I can't read, guv, can you read it for me?" "It's a summons." "To appear in court on the 18th of March for obstruction with a barrow." "That's tomorrow." "It must be a good omen." "Would you write a nice letter to that magistrate for me, guv?" "Now, let me see." "Sir," "I'm sorry I cannot appear tomorrow." "I would very much like to come, only I have an appointment with Mr Ketch on Thursday and he might keep me hanging about." "If he don't," "I'll pop down to see you, mate." "Why not send my papers to Mr Ketch?" "He loves to be in at the kill." "(CRYING) From Danny Lee." "Now, listen, dearie, when Danny comes in don't start crying." "You'll only upset him." "You tell him that we're going out tonight to get signatures for his reprieve." "Tell him all the papers say he'll be reprieved." "I wanna go in there and kiss my Danny." "He's my baby..." "Sorry, Ma, against the rules." "He's always been a good son to his mum and given me money." "Sorry, Ma." "Don't you tell me" "I can't go in and kiss him," "I'll have you reported." "Shut up, Mum." "I'll write to the Queen about you." "Stinkers." "Hello, sweetheart." "Don't you look lovely, eh?" "Any news yet?" "Everybody thinks you'll get reprieved." "We're going around the pubs tonight to try and get some more signatures." "Everybody thinks I'll get reprieved?" "Everybody said I had a marvellous chance, but look where I am now." "The QC went bent on me." "I don't think he was even trying." "They tell me he went to school with the prosecutor." "You been eating all right, son?" "You look a bit thin to me." "I was only saying to your Aunt Lil yesterday," "I said, "I do hope they give my Danny" ""plenty of bread pudding and faggots," ""'cause he do like his bread pudding and faggots."" "No, Mum, I've lost me appetite, I don't fancy nothing anyway." "But don't worry." "How's Lou, Joss and Abel?" "Oh, they're lovely, they are." "They've taken your Aunt Lil to the hospital." "She's gonna be scraped again." "Though what a woman of her age wants to keep having babies for" "I'll never know." "It's a terrible operation, you know." "Oh, I remember when I was scraped." "It was just before you was born." "Oh, no, it wasn't, it was just before your dad got his seven." "Time he won out on appeal." "If he hadn't won time out on appeal you might never have been born." "I sometimes wish I hadn't." "Oh, don't say that, Son." "You ain't missing much in here, you know." "It's a miserable bastard life outside." "What, with my back, Aunt Lil's operation, and the atom bombs in Scotland, and now there's a load of flu about." "I think I've got a dose meself." "Where's me snuff box?" "The baby will be born soon, Danny, remember?" "What will I call it?" "If it's a girl, we'll call her Penny." "I want it to be a boy so I can call him Danny." "BRITANNIA:" "Oh, ain't that nice?" "I know it'll be a boy." "Did you get the money all right?" "Oh, I've got that, all right." "I'm looking after that for Rosa." "You can trust your old mum." "But, Mum, I want Rosa and the baby to have it, you'll be all right, you've got the boys to look after you, you won't ever want for nothing." "I want my Rosa and my baby to have the best." "Oh, don't talk like that, Son, I wouldn't touch a penny of it, you know that." "I mean to say, your Rosa, she ain't so marvellous with money, you know." "She ain't fly like your old mum." "She could have made a packet out of this." "Well, I got 50 quid from them Sunday newspaper reporters." "Oh, we had a lovely drink, we did, and I gave them all them photographs of you when you was a little boy." "Mind you, they drank all my whisky, but they did give me 50 quid, and as one of them said to your Aunt Lil," ""Well, missus," they said. "You can do with all the money you can get" ""'cause you won't get no insurance money..."" "Insurance money, you bloody, wicked, old cow." "Insurance money!" "That's all you've ever thought about all your life, isn't it, Mum?" "Money, money, money." "When I was a little kid you tried to send me out thieving, and when I wouldn't go you made me sit up all night making clothes pegs with me pen knife." "Money, money, money!" "Oh, take me away, I wanna be hanged, I wanna die." "He's gone mad." "Stark staring, raving bonkers." "Did you hear what he called me?" "His own mother?" "The best mum a boy ever had?" "My God, let me get out of here." "Oh, Danny." "# Rosa must wait in Notting Dale" "# For all eternity" "# Before I come to Notting Dale" "# Ketch must draw his fee" "# A widow ere she was a bride" "# Her tears her lullaby" "# And yet I know she'll be outside" "# The morning that I die #" "Oh, listen." "Not a jerk." "Not a jerk." "Oh, lovely, Charlie." "Let's have old Willie up and try again, eh?" "I'll close the trap." "Give us an hand with old Willie then, fellas?" "Ta." "That's it." "Got you." "Come on, Charlie, hurry up." "They'll have the anti-hanging bill through." "That's it." "Yeah, great." "Now, look." "In future, I'd like you to tie that knot a little bit tighter on the left of the jaw because the dislocation of the vertebrae without decapitation depends on the tightening of the knot on the left lower jaw." "Yeah, gotcha." "How do you feel, Charlie?" "I'm all right, thanks, Albert, but" "I'd rather be down Brands Hatch on my motorbike, you know what I mean?" "Come on, when you take over from me, which God willing won't be very long now, I want you to be the finest hangman in the world, as befits my future son-in-law." "From the cell to the trap shouldn't take more than 12 seconds." "Yeah." "And don't forget that left lower jaw." "If you give him one inch more of the rope, it'll pull his bloody head off." "We don't want any Nurembergs here, do we?" "Eh?" "Well, of course, Charlie, you wouldn't remember that, would you?" "You were only a lad at the time." "Now, what happened at Nuremberg then, Albert?" "Well, there was 26 top German brass to be topped." "They gave the job to some Yank who didn't know the secret to the left lower jaw." "Oh, I see." "Bloody amateurs." "Didn't you see the photograph in Time magazine?" "Oh, what happened?" "Oh, enough to make you weep, believe me." "Should have given the job to an Englishman." "Best hangmen in the world." "I want you to do the best of the whole lot when I retire." "And, oh, I'll let you into a secret." "I'm getting nearly £30,000 for my story for the Sunday..." "How about that then?" "Good evening, Officer." "Good evening, Albert." "May I introduce you to my future son-in-law, Charlie Smith." "How do you do?" "How do you do, sir?" "How's the old ticker, Albert?" "Not too bad, not too bad, sir." "Touch wood." "And the wife?" "Still getting that arthritis in her back?" "No, no, no, she's lovely, thank you." "Charlie here's a bit nervous." "Tomorrow morning's the first time he's helping me." "There's no reprieve, I suppose." "No, the Home Office issued their final statement this afternoon." "No possible grounds anyway." "Oh, good." "We don't want to come all this way for nothing, do we?" "This man we're hanging in the morning, I've got his particulars here." "Weight. 11 stone, 6 pounds, is that right?" "Any curiosities or deformities?" "Any false teeth?" "No, it's a dead simple job for you." "Will there be any trouble?" "Oh, could be, he's a rough type, you know?" "I'm going to give him a sedative tonight." "He appears to be all up and down since his last visit." "Fell out with his old mother." "Anyway, Albert, I must away." "See you in the morning." "Good night." "Good night." "Cheerio, Doc." "See him in the morning, all right." "He's a nice enough fellow, our doctor, you know, but he's nearly always half drunk at an execution." "You're joking." "He once told me he couldn't to the execution, he said, unless he had three large scotches for breakfast." "I don't believe it." "It's a funny thing that, isn't it?" "Squeamish." "I don't need that, Charlie, and neither will you." "Come down here to do a job like any other." "We sleep in that cell opposite." "The beds are a bit hard, but they make us quite comfortable." "I brought a book apiece for us." "There's this one here for you..." "Thanks, I haven't read this one." "...and grandfather's Bible for me." "Great thing to have tradition in the family." "He had the job of hangman for 25 years and his father before him." "He was a great old gentleman." "You don't meet his sort nowadays, you know." "No, Albert." "No, you don't." "I remember when I was a nipper, riding along the country lanes in the back of his pony cart, listening to him and my father talking of ways of bringing a man to an easy death." "It's a great profession this, but a lot of people won't admit it." "We perform a real public service." "I know." "A lot of the lads would like to be where I am now, you know?" "I reckon you're right there." "They say they get five or six applications every week for our job at the Home Office." "But you must keep up the standards." "No good getting slack in a profession like ours." "I always like to think of the words of my great-great-grandfather, who said that he regarded himself as a man who plucked the weeds out of God's garden." "He put that beautiful, like, didn't he, Albert?" "He did, Charlie, and don't you never let down his memory." "Not me, mate." "Shall we turn in?" "Yeah, sure." "Hey, Albert, you know, I was thinking, we should have another go with old Willie here." "I mean, I don't want to make any mistakes in the morning, now, do I?" "Hey, can I have a go on the lever, this time?" "Lovely, Charlie." "Not a jerk." "You do it as to the manner born." "Now, you just remember that left lower jaw and you'll make out fine." "(MOUTHING)" "# At eight in the morning" "# As daylight is dawning" "# Ketch and his Charlie are earning their pay" "# Ten guineas a coffin" "# Come rise for the dropping" "# While Danny in quicklime will shrivel away #" "BRITANNIA:" "I tell you, Lou, if they've got enough to nick you, they've got enough to charge you." "And if they've got enough to charge you, they've got enough to convict you." "And if they convict you, don't you think they won't hang you, 'cause they bloody well will, the bastards." "The whole bleeding system's bent." "Take it easy, Ma." "Look after her, will you?" "Oh, Ma, calm down now." "I don't know why we even bothered to try and save him." "I always knew they'd get him in the end, and why?" "Because he forgot the 11th commandment." ""Thou shalt not plead guilty."" "Yeah, yeah." "Don't you forget that, boys, 'cause Danny did." "Leave off, Ma, pack it in." "Have some respect." "Let her be." "Have some respect?" "Hark at him." "He ain't got no feelings." "Well, my Danny was the best son in the whole wide world, and his very last words to me was that he'd got the best mum in all the world." "# Mother of God, where were you that day?" "# The villains tempted my Danny" "# But, oh, he was lost, He was dead from that day" "# And you turned your back on my Danny" "# Mother of God, where are you now?" "# They're coming to hang my Danny" "# The quicklime's prepared" "# No flower will grow" "# On the grave where they buried my Danny #" "Would you like a drink?" "GUARD:" "Yeah?" "Would you like us to wait outside, Father?" "Would you, please?" "Danny." "(EXCLAIMS)" "You frightened me, Father." "Danny, come here." "Danny, I want you to be very brave this morning." "I want you to die like a good Catholic." "I shan't leave you." "I shall be with you all the time." "(WHIMPERING)" "Look after my Rosa, Father, and tell her that I love her." "Yes, of course I will." "Oh, my God, I love thee." "Thou seest me, thou knowest all, thou canst do all." "Now, Danny, a prayer to Our Lady to assist you." "Hail, Holy Queen, Mother of Mercy, hail our life, our sweetness and our hope." "To thee do we cry for banished children of Eve." "To thee do we send up our sighs, mourning and weeping in this vale of tears." "Turn, thy most gracious advocate, thine eyes of mercy towards us." "And after this our exile is shown to us the blessed fruit of thy own Jesus." "Oh, clement, Oh, loving, Oh, sweet, Virgin Mary." "Pray for us, oh, Holy Mother of God, that we may be made worthy of the promises of Christ." "Now, Danny, stand up." "Come on." "Here you are, Danny boy, drink this." "(CRYING)"