"MAN OF SAND" "You have a deep head wound and a fractured arm." "I'm admitting you for a few days to monitor your progress." "Can you pass me that tape?" " Did you come alone?" " The police brought me." "You're the one who got into a fight?" "They were beating up an old man sleeping in the street." "They were beating him to a pulp and no one did a thing." "A tramp!" "Times are bad for them." "It's never been a good time to be a tramp, believe me." "Do you smoke?" "I quit a long time ago." " Does it hurt to breathe?" " No." "Breathing's never hurt me." "Can I go?" "You must take care of yourself." " I have to see someone." " Family?" "Do you want us to inform them?" "You're not from round here, are you?" "I was, a long time ago." "His name..." "Mummy!" " Hello, darling." " Mummy." " Is Dad in?" " No." "He went to town." "Eduardo called, he had a problem with the plane ticket." "He'll call you back later." "I told him you were staying for the weekend." "What's wrong?" "You're exhausted." "Why don't you lie down?" "Later." "Right then, Lolita." "How was your night?" "I just admitted an old man." "He was defending a tramp from one of those gangs." " Is he badly hurt?" " He'll recover." "Just as well." "Look." "Do you remember?" "Yes." "I should have taken it in colour." "The man I'm talking about has the same photo." "He has the photo of my mother." "Whenever we talked about what happened to her," "I knew something was left out, something you chose not to tell me, that I might not even want to know." "Now I want to know." "His name's Mateo." "Mateo." "Do you know him?" "It's been such a long time." "Is he my father?" "Your father?" "Most of our patients don't feel the need to escape." "They don't consider the possibility." "They wouldn't know what to do with themselves out there." "They depend on us." "And we help them feel safe in here." "We're like a big family and we want that to continue." "That's it." "In short, you obey the rules here, order and control." "This is not a prison, but don't get any ideas." "Take my advice and don't try it." "I've been making this man o' war for 9 years, during which time nobody's left without my authorisation." "Is it the Santa Ana?" "Yes." "How did you guess?" "I can read." "Well, what a surprise." "What else do you know?" "It was one of the greatest ships of its time." "It boasted some hundred guns, and I know that this one is fifty guns short of being a first-class man o' war like the Santa Ana." "What a surprise." "Maybe this isn't a first-class man o' war like you say." "And maybe this isn't the state prison, but it's a prison for you." "Understood?" "Don't stir things up or try to escape." "These are the rules." "Behave and we'll treat you with due respect." "A year passes quickly." "Go on, take him to solitary." "I've done nothing to deserve being locked up." "You're not mad, but not exactly a saint." "You know how this works." "Give it to me, damn it!" "Here you won't need anything but what we give you." "Why did you sent him to solitary?" "It's a preventive measure." "If he knows what's in store for him, he'll think before he steps out of line." "An infallible method." "Preventive measure?" "A method?" "Rubbish." "I don't know if Mateo was right about the ship." "But Burgos didn't like being shown up  and let it be known in his own way." "They say when someone is wrongly punished, when he gets out, he's not the same, and for good or ill, he doesn't see the world the same as before." "Three days in solitary for one simple comment." "That's how the place worked." "When he left that cell the look in his eyes wasn't the same." "I remember every single detail." "I remember the smell." "It smelled bad the moment you entered." "I thought I'd never get used to it." "DIRTY WARD" "But no, you get used to anything." "I needed the job and being a woman and new at this," "I was already at a disadvantage." "Why do they call her the Cigarrona?" "She used to smoke like a chimney." "She has such deep wounds." "Why is she here?" "She's not a dirty one." " I'm pissing myself." " Get out of here." " But I'm pissing myself." " Back to your ward!" "I said no." "Go!" "You're a pig." "Are you jealous?" "Go on." "Move it." "Mateo ended up in a place where they abandoned the nobodies, or if they were somebody, nobody remembered them." "It was a place hidden from God  and men." "Hey, Frog." "Learn to speak proper like the rest of us." "Here, this is your bed." "Behave yourself and don't do anything stupid." "Where is your 'at?" "It's occupied." "I said it's ocuppied." "Do you 'ave a 'at?" "It's empty!" " It's occupied." "Do you 'ave a 'at?" " C'mon, Frenchy, what's it matter?" "I said it's occupied and 'e 'as no 'at!" "Sure, I've got a hat." "They took it when I came in." "Happy?" " Happy?" " Come on." "Come on." "Don't worry." "He's a bit..." "Can you spare one for me?" "Fucking hell!" "Fucking nutters!" "You got a cigarette?" "That's my Frenchy." "The hospital wasn't pretty or the best-equipped, on the contrary, but I thought it was a good place to start changing things that didn't work." "Good heavens." "They were so alone, and the place was falling apart." "At the time there was even an atomic bomb." "And we had no idea." "What are you doing?" "It's closed." " Just looking." " Trying to get in?" "I'm trying to get out." "Don't." "It'll make things harder on you." "Right." "Were animals kept here?" "No." "Those weren't for shackling animals." "Where are my things?" "I put them in a safe place, don't worry." "We don't often see bagpipers round here." "Yeah, but it's the only thing I can play." "My dad used to say, 'bagpipes are the sound of the earth'." " And it's a sound I like." " The sound of the earth." "Yes." "He wasn't from here." "Is it true what you told Burgos about the boat?" "You think it's strange that I know such things?" "No." "Well, yes, a bit." "From the number of guns it could be the San José, the last Spanish galleon." "But the truth is I've no idea what he's building." "My grandma had a lot of books." "As a boy I read everything I could about boats." "My favourite novels were of distant voyages, pirates..." "I liked Jules Verne." " Jules Verne!" " Yes." "I thought some day I'd be like Captain Nemo." " Nonsense like that." " Why nonsense?" "I don't know." "I can't even swim." "And the bagpipes?" "I earn a few pennies, though the priest at Santa Eulalia church doesn't like me playing during mass." "No wonder." "During mass..." "When isn't it mass in this country?" "Was it he who reported you?" "You still haven't said where you're from." "From outside." "The other side of the wall." "This hose is completely screwed." "Looking for something, friend?" "The way out." "Just you or with company?" "No, it's better alone." "You shouldn't talk like that if you really want to get out of here." "Don't you know how to lie?" "I could hide behind there." "I don't take things out, I bring them in." "I can get you what you want, a jacket, a shirt, salami, anything." "With money, everything's possible." "You got money?" "Where would you go with no money?" "To America." "America!" "It's not on my way." "Here." "They're American." "I bet you'll like them." "It's hard as rock." "Give me a hand." "Little birdies." "Don't go up there!" "Don't disturb them!" "Rat!" "Get down from there!" "Now!" "What are you doing up there?" "Come on!" "Get down before you hurt yourself." " Come down from there!" " I can't!" "Get up." " Where is the other one?" " He felt on the other side." "Pick him up, pick him up." "Get a stretcher and take him inside." " Don't worry." " I've lost my glasses." " How is he?" " It looks bad." "Lord!" "Not again!" "What do you want?" "Feel my ass, or what?" "Egg!" "I only wanted to give you an egg!" "Crazy woman!" "He only wanted to give it to me." "Don't worry." "He only wanted to give it to me." "Who are you?" "If it still bothers you, we should take some X-rays to rule out a fracture." " Why'd they climb up there?" " To gather eggs from a nest." " They're hungry." " Hungry?" "We're not stacked with provisions but there's enough." "Maybe they don't agree." "They don't have a say on this matter." "We're done." "You're rather tense." "I think the food here is very poor." "They need milk, fish and meat." "And?" "And?" " Anything else?" " I don't know, Burgos." "Have you seen the state of the outhouse roof?" "I'm afraid to enter some areas, and the dormitories have rising damp and mould." "And that rat this morning it can't live far away." "And what's worse," "I daren't throw it away." "I've got the feeling I'm going to need it." "The medicine cabinet desperately needs restocking." "Your complaints are building up." "Nor do I like Luis." "He's too heavy-handed." "Sometimes only forces keeps order." "Luis is doing his job." "Write a report for me on what you think is needed, and I'll talk to the Council." "Shut up, or I'll get mad." "You got that?" "You know what I mean?" " Do you understand?" " Hey, you!" "What are you doing up there?" "Now I'm down here." "What do you want?" "And you?" "What do you want?" " Come on." " No." "She stays here." "Don't play the smart-ass with me." "Are you okay?" "It's for you." "You can use it." "Take off your beret when you eat." "The beret!" "Take off!" "They treat me like a criminal, which I'm not, and I don't want them frying my brains in that hole." "You've never been locked up before?" "In a place like this, no." "During the war we lived in the capital." "Life was new to me, I'd only just been born." "There was also a captain who claimed the Reds had burnt his brother alive." "One afternoon, some soldiers brought a couple to him, accused of being anarchists," "but he said he wasn't looking for any old Reds, he wanted the one who'd burnt his brother." "A fair man." "Fair?" "A son of a bitch." "He knew the soldiers would kill them anyway." "His conscience was clear, as if by not killing them himself, he had saved their lives." "They found my parents in a ditch." "They'd been shot in the back." "Nobody forgave them." "When I was 16 I found out who the officer was." "Captain Castajo," "God damn him." "One day I stood up to him and called him a murderer." "I was in prison nine days." "I had it in the consulting room." "I thought you might like to read it." "'Moby Dick'." "It'll help pass the time." "Can you keep a secret?" "I don't care for the 'method' either." "Are you sure he can do it?" "There's only one way to find out." "I don't like patients involved in the running of this place." "They already are, the women work and clean the kitchen." " That's not the same." " No?" "Okay, try it, but I'm making you responsible." " You have a gift for photography." " No, they go with the report." "Your intentions are good, but I don't think all this is really necessary." "The council knows what a lunatic looks like." "It's not a good idea." "It doesn't work like that." "Who's locked up in Cell 5?" "Why do you want to know?" "I've been here 4 months and know nothing about that patient." "He's fine, he has all that he needs." "Doesn't he ever get out?" "His isolation simply means no contact with other patients." "He comes out when nobody can see him, it's for his own good." " His own good?" " Stop it!" "It doesn't concern you." "I can do this, but I'm going to need materials, tools..." "I'll take care of the materials." "This is the key to the outhouse." "Be careful." "Some of the tools are dangerous." "Do you want some water?" "Thanks." "Drinking makes me happy, smoking gives me pleasure..." " What's up, my Portuguese friend?" " Nice shelves!" "You're a good carpenter." " When you get out I can get you work." " What are you looking at, Joao?" "Nothing, sister." "The shelves." " Have you nothing better to do?" " Sure," "I've got things to do." "Hello!" "Can you hear me?" "You can't talk to him." "I only wanted to know how he is." "Director's orders." " I told you it was a bad idea." " It's not fair." "He did a good job." "Life isn't fair, so you should leave things as they are." "I'd failed and Burgos was so smug." "He hid it, and consoled me, but deep down he was happy at my failure." "That was then it happened." "I'll start again." "How I enjoyed hearing him say  that he'd start again!" "Mateo wasn't prepared to give an inch to Burgos." "Don't wear yourself out, Portuguese!" "That smells great." "It's fucked up, being locked up in here." " There are bad people here." " There are, yes." "And pretty girls too." "Lola's your favourite, isn't she?" "Very cute." "I prefer the young doctor." "And that law, 'for vagrants and petty criminals'?" "'And crooks'." "Crooks?" "A crook is like a bandit or a criminal." "Are you a bandit?" "What about you?" "Are you a smuggler?" "Yes, I am." "I'd like to help you, but it's one thing to deal in tobacco and goods," "and another to help a convict escape." "I'm not a convict." "You're a good guy, but..." "Fucking hose!" "You'll be fine." "Give me a cigarette." "Thank you." "Fire!" "Fire!" "Fire!" "Joao!" "It's going to rain." "Today it's going to rain." "It's going to rain, it looks like rain." "Looks like rain, yes, it looks like it's going to rain." "How are you?" "Fine." "Be careful." " Want some?" " Thank you." "Very tasty." "What's that you're reading?" "I can't read." "'Moby Dick'." "Has it got pictures?" " No." " And what's it about?" "It's the story of Ahab, the captain of a whaler, who hunts Moby Dick, a white whale." " A hunter." " Yes, something like that." "Why do you come up here?" "I like to read facing the sea." " What sea?" " That one over there." "There's no sea out there." "Close your eyes and look there." "Beyond the horizon, descending the snowy mountain," "crossing the river that divides the green meadows, where the sand is as white as salt, there's an immense sea," "the sea of whales." "Sometimes, when the wind blows from the west, you can hear the waves crash against the cliffs." "Can you hear it?" "What's the sea like?" "Blue." "I see a girl." "Who is it?" "I don't know." "Sometimes we can see ourselves as we imagine ourselves to be." "It's just a girl." " Maybe it was you." " I've never been a little girl." "Sorry." "I didn't mean to..." "It doesn't matter." "She's not there anymore." "I wish I could disappear like her." "What are you looking at?" "What are you looking at?" " We're looking out there." " Outside!" "There's nothing out there!" "What'll you do when you get out?" "I'll go to America." "And you?" "I'll never leave." "Easy, don't move!" "Calm down, keep your mouth shut." "Where'd you get that tobacco?" " Do you want a cigarette?" " No, I want my cigarettes." " Joao." " Joao my arse!" "Why?" "Pain makes you do awful things." "Something was hurting her deeply  and fortunately for her, Mateo was there." "A few weeks later Samuel returned." "His hip was a mess  and that place wasn't ideal for looking after him." "Nor was it the best time." "By then, Mateo had finished the kitchen." "It pained Burgos to admit it, but he had to acknowledge the quality of Mateo's work, though he limited himself to..." "All in order." " Are you still going up to the roof?" " I'm fixing it." "Do you feel okay?" "Yes." "You sure?" "Fractured cranium, left tibia, severe chest injuries, wounds of varying severity..." "Mental derangement." "30 year sentence for homicide." "Her mother?" "She murdered her mother?" "And she mutilated her father, and shortly after being admitted she bit the nose off a warder." "She was a wild animal, just 14, but she's no longer like that." "She's just a child." "She's withdrawn, but who wouldn't be?" "She was lynched and beaten by her own brothers." "How is she?" "Weak." "We're waiting for the results of the tests." "It's going to rain." "Looks like it's going to rain." "Today it's going to rain." "Looks like rain." "Today it's going to rain." "Don't even think about it." "Get out." "The keys." "Get them yourself." "They're in the ignition." "Today it's going to rain." "Looks like rain..." "Is something wrong?" "You're pregnant." "Pregnant?" " She'll have to have an abortion." " What?" "Nothing." "It was just a comment." "I'm worried that she's been abused." "Nonsense!" "Have you asked her who it was?" "She doesn't want to tell me." "I'm sure it was that carpenter." "Luis, what are you doing?" "Someone's been messing around with my lorry." "What are you doing here?" "I've come to visit a friend." "How's everything?" "Fine." "The doctors said I was very lucky." "Thanks for saving my life and taking care of my lorry." "Come here." "I've got something for you." "PUERTO PLATA JUNE 22ND" "June?" "It's all sorted." " What's the day today?" " Take it easy." "We've got plenty of time." "Right, I have to take your photo." "You love me that much?" "I love you, but it's for your passport." "Put on a shirt, you crook!" "You like her?" "Lola." "You like her?" "You like her or you no like her?" "Yes, I like her." "You like her." " You like her." " Yes." "You like her." "You like her." "Yes!" " Does it hurt?" " No." "You like?" "When you get out you will give me your 'at?" "Why talk about that?" "It was a long time ago." "Lola, I'd like to be able to help you." "I don't need any help." "Would you rather we acted as if nothing had happened?" "Have you been raped?" "You don't want to answer?" "Lola you're going to bring a creature into the world." "At least tell me you weren't forced." "Does Mateo have anything to do with it?" "Was it him?" "Don't be afraid." "Tell us." "Nothing will happen to you." "If it was your choice, you've nothing to be afraid of." "But if it was against your will, he'll do it again, if not with you then someone else, and she might ask why we didn't stop him in time." " You'll never stop them." " Them?" " How many are there?" " Him, them." "What does it matter?" "Those who forced me when I was a girl, every night, night after night." "Those who looked away." "Those who condemned me and forgave them." "Those who locked me up." "She shouldn't have let them do those things to me." "A mother should take care of her children." "Lola, has anyone in this hospital abused you?" "Have you been abused by a doctor or nurse?" "Carmen, please!" "What are you saying?" "Why does it bother you?" "And what if she consented?" "What if she consented?" "It wouldn't be rape!" "There wouldn't be abuse, only relations between two adults!" "But you need there to be a guilty party, at any cost." "This is a lunatic asylum, these things happen." "The walls are crumbling too." "Is it my fault?" "No." " This building's a relic." " It's not a relic, it's just old." "Why are you being like this?" "While you were playing with dolls, I was spending my life here." "I know what these patients need." "If you know so much, tell me why Lola doesn't trust us." "Christ, Carmen!" "She's a maladjusted schizophrenic." "A magic trick, gentlemen." "Where's the ball?" " You have it." " Where is it?" "I've got nothing." "Where is it?" "Look!" "You've got it." "You've got it." "Why are you laughing?" "You said you were never a girl." "Come with me." "Up you get." "Don't be scared." "Sister Mercedes said you were worried about me." "I did the kitchen and read half the book waiting for you to wake up." "The whale hunter?" "I'm awake now." "Will you read me some?" "Come on, order!" "One." "One." "Six." "Six." "Order!" "Come on, order!" "What the fuck is this?" "Who did this?" "Hey, you." "Who did this?" "Mateo." "Mateo." "'His motions plainly denoted his extreme exhaustion'." "'And this time in three years, if I am not at home, tell them to address them to hell'." "'What are the Rights of Man and the Liberties of the World but Loose-Fish?" "'" "'What are all men's minds and opinions but Loose-Fish?" "'" "'Was it that this old carpenter had been a life-long wanderer... '" "In 20 days I'm going to America." "Come with me." "Come with me." "Do you know why La Cigarrona is here?" "No." "She lost her baby in a fire." "When she realised her house was on fire, she tried to get in to save him, but her neighbours stopped her." "She went crazy." "She ripped her face off." "I can put up with anything they throw at me in here." "And even if I wanted to go, it wouldn't be the same." "You're going to Hell." "What the fuck are you doing?" "He killed him." "He killed him!" "He killed him!" "He killed him!" "Help me!" "Help me, Frenchy!" "Help me!" "You are going to die!" "Mateo I'm dying." "I need my things." "I'm sorry too." "Hey!" "You!" "Get down, and bring that fucking bagpipe!" "Sit down." "Hold him." "There are no fun and games here." "It's a nuthouse not a pub, and loonies get pissed off!" "Besides, you've been playing Lola's bagpipe long enough." "What are you on about, you prick?" "You don't know?" "You and that slut spend a lot of time together." "You pumped at that well so much, you got her pregnant." "You didn't know?" "Didn't your girlfriend tell you?" "The doctors think you raped her, but don't you worry, I know it's not like that." "That whore let you fuck her when you wanted." "Don't you look at me like that, I'll cut you up!" "Don't be an idiot." "Admit you're the father." "These things happen." "I'll kill you, you fucker!" "Don't hurt her." "What's going on here?" "This madwoman tried to kill me with a knife." "Why are you doing this?" "Give me the razor." "Give it to me." "No!" "I'll give it to you!" " Don't go near her or I'll kill you!" " That's enough!" " I'll kill you!" " You want that whore?" "Shut the fuck up!" "We're in mourning, for Christ's sake!" "Son of a bitch!" "How is he?" "Fine." "He's not the father, is he?" "I know who it is!" " There's no need to shout." " I'm not shouting." "Don't you want to know who it is?" "Not now." "Stop playing with your damn boat!" "She's been raped!" "Don't shout!" "What do you want me to do?" "Crucify him?" "I'll talk to him." "You knew?" "I don't believe it." "I didn't know, but I had my suspicions." " I noticed something..." " And you let time go by." "Why?" "So that it can all be forgotten?" "Who knows what hell she's been in?" "And all so as not to upset your stupid method and make everything look under control?" "That woman is terrified!" "You think I'm not sorry?" "Now you know the truth." "What's the sea like?" "I don't know." "I've never seen it." "But I thought you'd been there." "There are many things I haven't done." "Will you come with me?" "No." "I don't want to leave you." "And I won't." "I want to show you something." "It's a whale." "Is it for me?" "Today it's going to rain, looks like it's going to rain..." "Mateo." "Where can I leave this?" "Over there." "Have you got something against me?" "Did you think I'd raped her?" "I don't know." "Maybe the thought passed through my head for a moment." "I'm sorry." " It doesn't matter." " Yes, it does." "Don't kid yourself, nothing matters here." "Life here isn't worth a damn." "They shut us up so we're not a nuisance." "We're forgotten or even worse." "That's the method." "It's not all bad." "There are also good people here who do what they can." "I'm not waiting here for the wind to blow me away like I was a man of sand." "I know." "Good luck." "You know what?" "You're right about one thing, about good people," "I've seen some good people in here." "Me too." "It's only a few metres." "Everything's okay." " Let's go." " No." "I can't." "You go, I'd just be in the way." "What are you saying?" "Are you alright?" "Let's go!" "No, Mateo." "I'm fine, but I'm not going with you." "My future is here." "No." "Look." "This is our future and it's waiting for us." "When they locked me up I was just a girl." "Here I've been wretched." "All this time I've been a madwoman, as worthless as the others." "I haven't suffered more pain than I did outside." "But one day I met a man who treated me like a woman, and I fell in love" "and I prayed for him to take me away from here." "And here I am, saying goodbye to you." "Okay." " I'll stay with you." " No, no." "I'll tell Joao to leave and that I'm staying." "No, not that." "I'm staying with you." "Will you give me your hat?" "Climb up over there." "Let's go." "There are some dry clothes for you in there." "Passports." "When you get to Rio, go to this address." "Ask for Luis Viagas or 'The Indian'." "He'll help you, he's a good friend." "You'll need this, and this too." "Portuguese, thank you." "I couldn't have managed without you." "Take this too, and look after it for me, you crook." "When you get to Brazil, change the hour." "Let's talk to the captain." "No one leaves my hospital without my authorisation." "What's wrong?" "Look who's over there." "Watch out." "We have to get out of here." " I'm going to get her." " No." "We can't do anything for her." "If they catch you they'll throw you in jail, got it?" "And we'll both be fucked." "Buddy, listen to me." "We have to go, now!" "Is that clear?" "Come on, let's go." "Mateo's escape, Sanson's death  and Luis' brutality, were reasons enough  for the Regional Council to ask Burgos  to leave the post of Hospital Director." "They disguised it as a promotion to a higher position, but he knew it was no promotion, it was more like an exit through the back door, and that how he left, with his ship and his infallible method." "Beautiful." "We fitted out a room in the loft  so you could be more comfortable." "That's it." "A few weeks later, the new director arrived." " Dr. Angel." " Welcome." "I don't know why I expected someone different." "This is Sister Mercedes, and this is Lola." "It appears we'll have a new member of the family." "Do you feel okay?" "Right off he was very interested  and asked me to show him the whole hospital." "And that's what I did," "I showed him what I knew and what I didn't." "Five months locked up by his own father, a general or something, ashamed of having a homosexual son." "He was barely 30 and already seemed spent." "I later discovered that the 'violets', as they were called, were subjected to much worse treatment in those places where they were locked up." "Who knows?" "Maybe his father preferred to have him hidden away  rather than humiliated or dead." "Maybe Burgos, after all, was saving his skin." "And then you were born." "Almost four kilos!" "A beautiful little girl." "We tried to make it feel like a home." "And we didn't do a bad job." "Everyone chipped in." "It's all I have," "I hope you like it." "I don't remember having seen so much goodness in my life." "Those were our happiest days in that place." "You had a lot to do with that." "The arrival of new medicines and dozens of roof tiles  improved the place considerably." "That's a long way away." "The time has come." "I'm off." "It was his." "Do you want it?" "If you need me, I'll stay." "Fuck me!" "Frenchy jumped." "He jumped." "He sure fucked himself up." "She looked incredible up there, barefoot, proud, as hard as a rock." "That's the most endearing memory I have of your mother, and that was to be the last time she ever climbed up there." "I don't know if Mateo was your father." "I wish I knew, but I don't." "Nor do I know if Frenchy escaped like they said." "What I am sure of  is that Mateo loved your mother like no one else ever had," "and that Frenchy also loved her in his way." "We wrote to each other regularly." "He asked about you, if you were talking, if you looked like Lola, if you were okay." "He told Lola that he missed her, that he thought about her a lot, and not to worry, he was coming back for both of you." "But one day  your mother got very ill." "She left us one autumn morning." "Before she died she asked me to look after you." "She was afraid her family might claim custody of you." "I promised her they'd never take you away from me." "I wrote to Mateo." "I told him what had happened and he was distraught." "You never heard from him again?" "For many years, nothing at all." "But one day a package from Brazil arrived at the hospital." "Remember the gorilla Santa brought you when you were 11?" "But it arrived in such a bad state  I couldn't make out the address to reply to him." "So that was it." "I was a child born of a rape." "No." "You were born of the love of a woman who never hesitated in having you and a man who loved you before you were even born." "You've always carried them with you."