"You can't just cut off my power!" "How much do I owe?" "Only $700!" "How long will it take?" "You're joking!" ""Bad luck" by Luna Ng" "What bad luck." "My power got cut!" "I have no heat, no light." "And I forgot to backup my columns." "So they're all gone." "There's a local saying, "Stepping on poop"." "Have you worn shoes with grooved soles." "And stepped in a soft pile?" "If so, you understand." "Hello?" "Susan!" "I'll write it when I get home." "My power was cut off!" "Really!" "It will take another hour." "All right... goodbye!" "I'll bring it to you." "No, thanks!" "I'm unlucky today." "I'll break it!" "Then I'll sell it to you cheaper." "I am afraid of that." "Broken pieces are useful, too." "I made this." "So nice." "Right!" "It is pretty!" "Not for sale!" "Vinyl records?" "People want these?" "This is great stuff." "Nat King Cole and." "Frank Sinatra's classic collections." "My first boyfriend loved these." "I gave him a limited edition once for his birthday." "He was so happy..." "I'm holding this for someone." "This is the one, I gave it to him!" "My first boyfriend!" "That's my signature, I'm Luna!" "Why is it here?" "You're a Virgo?" "How did you know?" "You should stay home today, you know." "He can do this because I'm a Virgo?" "That's too cruel!" "It took me forever to find this." "I can't let anyone else have it." "It's already been bought!" "He didn't have enough cash, he'll be back." "Trust is important in business, see?" "Please, I'll give you more money." "Call him!" "I understand." "I see!" "I sympathize with you." "Let me speak to the boss lady." "I don't care who she is." "That record is mine." "I'm coming to get it now, thanks." "He said no." "He did?" "!" "He pretended to sympathize with me!" "He said he's coming now." "Wait here and beg him face to face." "Me, beg him?" "Yes!" "I can tell from his voice he's nasty!" "All men are cold-blooded!" "I hope the record is mouldy and scratchy." "Where are you?" "In a taxi, on my way to pick up something." "I just want to see where are you now." "When will you come back?" "Don't be late." "Last time I played two songs before you arrived." "They made me write a report." "I know!" "I don't want to seem to be defending you." "My fans are the ones defending me." "Without fans, they can go to hell." "Why is the beer warm?" "I told you about the power cut." "Don't throw my things away." "C.H. Yuen, you come out here now!" "You have two choices." "First, hire a maid." "Second, move in with me!" "Rent-free?" "Pay just a little!" "You're paying so much for this space!" "But it's still my own place!" "If I move in with you." "I have to tolerate you and your buddies." "My side of the bed is in demand." "I've warned you." "If you can rent it out." "You have to return my..." "I never gave you anything." "Let's go eat." "I'm meeting my buddies at Luk Yew Tea House." "No, thanks." "I don't want to listen to men to gossip." "Which beauty queens being with whom." "That's why you can't think of any topics." "You have to meet people to find topics." "Sorry, I don't write gossip columns." "Nor do free advertising." "Aren't you noble." "You'll be living off me, anyway." "C.H. Yuen!" "If I had money I'd sue you!" "Ready!" "Vinyl Record Courier, your host Cheung Yung." "There's something called "The Beauty of Imperfection"." "When we listen to Zhou Xuan of Edith Piaf." "Both women have." "Girlish singing voices." "I feel this is "The Beauty of Imperfection"." "Then there's "The Beauty of Regret"." "What is that?" "I'll tell you later." "First let's listen to an Edith Piaf song." "I still miss him." "I don't know how to forget him." "I make myself very busy." "Like now, I'm still at work." "I called you so I wouldn't think of him." "Doing two things at the same time." "You're still at work?" "We'll talk softly so you boss won't hear." "Ask you boss if he can hear us now." "You men have no sympathy!" "Rich girls have taken the sympathetic ones." "Vinyl record lovers have cold hearts." "The more pity I show, the worse you'll feel." "But I make fun of you." "You get angry, throw a fit, curse me to hell." "Turn your anger around and feel better." "Some say my voice is harsh." "I understand that." "You're tired after a hard day." "You get home, put down you things." "You want a drink, and get into your slippers." "No way." "Your wife has to cook, and is a nag." "Your husband has to socialize." "The kids want to watch TV." "The maid won't get off the phone." "You seek comfort from a soothing voice." "But that's like whoring." "I don't want to induce indecent behaviour." "So I'll continue using." "This voice on my show." "I just mentioned "The Beauty of Regret"." "You like something, can't have it." "That's "The Beauty of Regret"." "Not everyone is intelligent enough." "To appreciate it." "Today a woman begged me." "To let her have a vinyl record." "Saying it was a gift to her first love." "Of course I didn't, for my own good." "Hoping she can feel "The Beauty of Regret"." "It's not always good to posses." "First loves leave the deepest impressions." "Mementos from those cause sadness." "Why keep them?" "I'm played this duet." "For the woman I just met on the phone." "An Armstrong and Fitzgerald song." "Mrs. Yuen, this is Luna." "Remember?" "I used to visit!" "Luna!" "How are you?" "Is C.H. there?" "He went to Canada years ago." "Do you have his number?" "You're looking for him?" "Yes!" "It's midnight there." "I'll wait to call in the morning." "Well, let me ask him." "I'll have him call you." "What, he's a movie star now?" "Susan, it's me." "I'm writing a piece I want to run tomorrow." "Can you let Layout Dept." "Know?" "Please help me with this, okay?" ""Regret"" "Regret starts with cold-heartedness." "A lawyer friend tells me." "Some criminals are born without shame." "Once, he heard." "A man accused of cheating the elderly." "Defending his actions by saying." ""He'll be cheated anyway, why not by me?"" "If you were in the jury." "Would you acquit him for his honesty?" "Sir, your dish of steak." "Some people are worse." "They do brutal things." "Then openly flaunt it on the radio." "That man's name is Cheung Yung." "What qualifies him to be a DJ?" "It's noise pollution." "Bending logic to justify his actions." "I ordered it medium;" "look." "There's no blood at all." "Sorry, I'll get you another." "Are you listening to this?" "Every word." "And getting hungrier." "She's naming you in her column." "My boss is her loyal fan." "He's a fool, you'll soon take his place." "Others read her, too; so do I!" "How did you offend her?" "But you do that every day." "What's her name?" "Luna Ng!" "Let me see it!" ""Luna Talks" (Menstrual Cycle)?" "!" "No wonder she's like this, she's..." "Good, it bleeds." "Oscar wouldn't come in with me." "He was afraid of the cat on your sign." "Right, Oscar?" "Then I gave him some counseling." "Bought him a Hello Kitty chew toy." "So he stopped fearing cats." "Bad boy, you chewed up Hello Kitty?" "He's not a bad boy." "He's such a good boy." "When I'm sad and crying alone." "He licks away my tears." "Because they taste like beef." "Of course not; we're both vegetarians." "Oscar lights up my life." "I don't wait for the phone to ring any more." "Or wait for dates, forcing myself to smile." "You should get a dog." "But I'm not gay." "But you're lonely." "It shows?" "More so than your pimples." "It'll be more obvious with a dog." "But you won't feel it." "Take him with you to work." "Train him to watch your customers." "Take him to the park." "Sleep with him when it's cold." "The best way is to adopt." "Orphans are so eager to please." "Look at my Oscar." "Where can I get one?" "You can get one from the SAA." "They have all kinds of dogs there." "Oscar, let me look at you..." "Oscar." "He's licking my acne cream." "It must taste like veggies." "Holy shit!" "Acne cream will kill him!" "What can we do?" "Shit!" "I'll bring you to the vet, to Dr. Mario." "Dr. Mario?" "You again?" "Yes, me again!" "I've been here the past few days." "But not tomorrow." "That pathetic woman yesterday..." "She wasn't pathetic." "Is she an old customer?" "You feel bad and wish to return the record?" " Do I look like that?" " No!" "Correct!" "What do you want?" "Just looking." "Pimples get worse with squeezing." "I shouldn't have sold you that record." "A dog must be better than men like you." "I think that caller is going nowhere." "A man beat her, she doesn't do anything." "All she does is cry." "Maybe she did hit back." "Calling to complain." "Is an obvious way to get pity." "Women shouldn't do that." "This is the 21st century." "But women lose control sometimes..." "Listen to him!" "Think up a good story tonight." "And tear him to shreds." "An American woman." "Killed a man, blamed it on PMS." "And was acquitted." "Can you believe it?" "So a local woman writer copied her." "Calls her column "Luna Talks" (Menstrual Cycle)." "A cheap gimmick to get attention." "Take me to the radio station!" "You're crazy!" "You're walking into his trap." "She has a period daily, what can you do?" "As a man, I've never suffered from this." "I pity the women who have periods daily." "Besides telling them to see a doctor." "I can only play them this song." ""The Lady is a Tramp"!" "Done?" "Have some more." "No, I can't..." "I have to write tomorrow." "Forget it!" "Wash your face, have another drink." "Come here." "Happy birthday!" "Thank you." "Why are you so late?" "We don't have you after-dinner habits." "Meaning what?" "Shopping at Prada, Gucci!" "I only go to Ferragamo." "Of course, you're old-fashioned." "Drunk already?" "What?" "She's drunk, we're going home." "Going so soon?" "Luna Ng!" "Come back here now!" "You can't leave yet!" "Come back, don't go." "Let me introduce you." "Academic genius Luna Ng." "I don't read newspapers but she's a famous columnist." "My classmate, Denise Ma." "He's your equal in the radio world." "He's..." "I'm Cheung Yung." "Sorry, excuse me." "Big or small?" "Big!" "Male or female?" "Whatever can protect me." "Male, then." "Do many people leave their dogs here?" "Lots of dogs, and cats." "And birds, hamsters, turtles, mice..." "Lizards, snakes, anything that moves." "Especially after Christmas." "Why?" "People buy pets as gifts." "Good for about two months." "Come with me!" "My horoscope's lucky number today is 9." "This one?" "He's good, his name is Mo Mo." "Here's Mommy!" "Here you are." "There's plenty for everyone." "I just want to know if it's true." "What?" "Did you throw urine on Cheung Yung?" "Urine?" "I wish, but I didn't have enough." "So I used red wine." "Who said urine?" "The gossip rag from next door." "You're truly my idol." "I hate that guy." "You must have called his show." "And he embarrassed you." "No, all women I know hate him." "But you listen anyway." "You should keep writing bad about him." "Clobber him while you're ahead." "Yes, by popular demand." "Many readers will write to support you." "No need for that." "I personally attacked him, good enough?" "Why didn't you take photos?" "See how aggressive you are." "Are you afraid he'll sue you?" "He'll sue you." "Sure!" "Ask your boss if he'll pay for my lawsuit." "Please don't!" "Boss is a horny goat." "No, that's free publicity." "Sue him." "I don't think he'll sue you." "Don't say I never warned you." "Be careful." "There's bound to be more." "Hello?" "What are you doing?" "I was just about to go out." "I'm free after my meeting, and you?" "Laundry!" "And planning long-range strategies." "Why blow it out of proportion?" "I know what I'm doing." ""I love Robots"" "Blue-collar robots, the ones in factories." "Have been around for a long time." "Why isn't there a domestic assistant robot?" "Every time I take my clothes to the laundry." "I hope it will come rescue me." "I don't want to carry my heavy laundry." "And I must remember my ticket." "I want a new dog." "What's wrong?" "He ignores me when I call." "Did you use an anger voice?" "No!" "I was so gentle." "Mo Mo, come here, Mo Mo." "You're using the wrong tone." "It's Mo Mo." " Mo Mo..." " Isn't it similar." "Not at all!" "Dogs have very sensitive ears." "He thinks you're calling someone else." "Okay." "He peed three times on my leg today." "Why?" "My leg is not that thin, or straight." "Not like a street lamp." "Do you know why dogs pee?" "They need to." "Yes, but also to claim territory." "He establishes his territory by scent." "Today, of all things." "He peed on your leg three times." "That means he likes you." "He wants to include your leg in his territory." "If he's lost he follows the smell back to you." "Are you serious?" "Yes, be patient." "Dogs are like this." "When he feels secure." "He'll stop." "The more you give, the more you receive." "And the more he pees?" "Give him some time." "Look, he can't bear to part with you." "He loves you." "Look!" "Go home with her." "Go home now, bye." "Goodbye, Mo Mo, goodbye." "I'd like to look at the old newspapers." "Sure!" ""Old Loves"." "I have a white umbrella." "When it was new, it was beautiful." "Long and slim, like an outstanding woman." "Unfortunately, her beauty faded quickly." "After a while the white became yellowed." "And stains appeared like freckles." "Besides, length is not an advantage." "Not as understanding as folding umbrellas." "So I began to create opportunities." "To take it out on rainy days." "Hoping I'd leave it behind." "Let it disappear, a painless separation." "A perfect excuse to buy a new one." "Won't that be nice?" "The unloved are sensitive." "One day, it just disappeared." "Without wasting my energy." "Umbrellas have their dignity, too." "But wait, I'm not ready." "It can't disappear without my permission." "I became determined to get it back." "Thought about where I had left it." "Bookstore?" "Restaurant?" "Subway?" "Went all over the place." "Finally I found it in the cinema." "It was pouting, waiting for me." "I recovered my lost love, all was well." "But from another angle." "If I had really lost it." "It would be gone forever." "Would that touch of regret suit me better?" "All lover's reunions are beyond words." "Right?" "Last week I mentioned "The Beauty of Regret"." "I was attacked by a woman writer for it." "She said I was brutal, nearly deported me." "And later even." "My listeners know I seldom read the papers." "Especially those whiny columns." "I wasted precious time just now." "To read up on this woman's works." "And I discovered." "Someone changed their tune." "I know some of you." "Are cursing me as you're listening." "But!" "Judge this case with fairness." "Listen as I read this, it's quite long." "The title is "Old Loves"" "I have a white umbrella..." "If I'd really lost it." "It would be gone forever." "Would that touch of regret suit me better?" "Touch of regret!" "I bought a second-hand vinyl record." "An ex-boyfriend trying to lose it." "This "love gift" he never wants to see again." "As the host of Vinyl Record Courier." "Don't you think I should rescue the record." "And share it with you all?" "Think about it." "If this "love gift"." "Was returned to an ill-tempered giver." "Goodbye, see you at the incinerator." "But although I despise this rough woman." "And believe me, she is very rough." "She is quite a good writer." "In spite of all the nagging, it's not bad." "If she can just control herself." "I promise I'll buy that paper every day." "And stop stealing it from my neighbour." "I'm getting thirsty, let's listen to a song." ""I have a gift of love."" ""I want to give it to you."" ""It is my heart!"" ""My deep love for you will never change."" ""I have a gift of love."" ""I want to dedicate it to you."" ""My true love to you lasts forever."" ""Until the end of the world."" "See, the ratings doubled." "Our competitors are so nervous." "Strike while the iron is hot." "Have that Lunar Cycle woman as a guest." "You must accept!" "It's great publicity, Miss." "He has tens of thousands of listeners." "I'm not falling into this trap." "He wants to use me." "Use him back, silly." "Your book is coming out, publicize it." "This is called revenge." "He talks dirty, I'm afraid..." "You're already, thrown wine on him." "You're just as bad." "Max is putting together a website." "And wants a "Lovers' Mailbox" chat room." "He wants you to host it." "Practice on the radio first." "Isn't that great?" "Do it!" "Me, on camera?" "I only know how to write." "Why not?" "It just the same." "It's hip to be multimedia these days." "How much can you make just writing?" "Cockroach!" "You'll have rats soon;" "this is a junkyard." "Books and papers attract roaches." "You're a coward." "Forget it, you're hiring a maid." "Mo Mo!" "Dumb dog!" "Mo Mo!" "Know your limitations, idiot!" "Mo Mo!" "Mo Mo!" "Mo Mo!" "Mo Mo!" "Mo Mo!" "Horny Goat!" "Horny Goat!" "Since you don't answer to your name, Horny Goat!" "Good boy!" "Great." "Daddy found Mo Mo!" "Horny Goat!" "Not only are you horny, but..." "What are you talking about?" "Don't touch my dog." "Your dog?" "Where did you find him?" "Mo Mo!" "Come with me!" "He doesn't know you." "Right, Mo Mo?" "Dumb dog!" "Don't conspire with others against me." "If not for me you'd be dead." "Dumb dog!" "Heartless beast!" "Pretty Babe!" "I had a crush, on her." "I found out she was sad;" "her dog had died." "I spent a fortune, bought a similar dog." "To make her happy." "I even trained him well for a month." "I'm not good with people." "But okay with dogs." "But she changed jobs, changed her number." "And the dog..." "Of course, you're short and bad." "And you called me "witch"." "It's because you called me "horny goat"." "The word "loyal" is written on my forehead." "You can see it under an ultraviolet light." "It's very clear." "Too bad it's not the word "handsome"." "Or we'd have the dog to thank for our love." "Look in the mirror, Pretty Babe." "Welcome, Miss Ng." "Denise will take care of you for me." "Please don't be polite, blast him away." "The more "wewungwung" the better." "Okay?" "Thanks." "What's a "wewungwung"?" "In old movies, when fighters face off." "Each radiates weapons from his palms." ""Wewungwung" is the sound when they clash." "It's okay." "Generation gap." "You don't have one with him." "I work for him." "Cheung Yung has prepared some questions." "Just pretend you're talking normally." "Talk about your questions." "Have a drink." "It's not drugged." "I have my first guest in two years." "She has it coming 36 days a year." "Miss Luna Ng." "Why is your column called "Luna Talks"?" "How disappointing:" "I knew you'd ask this." "And so I decided I won't answer." "No?" "Criminals have the right to remain silent." "Will you remain silent to all my questions?" "Depends on my mood." "Do you mind if I ask the questions?" "Stealing my spot?" "Yes, or taking calls for you." "I can be crude, too." "Crudeness requires skill." "Like going to a massage parlour." "It takes the right masseuse." "Sure, try it!" "Miss Ng, I have a question for you." "Are you married?" "No!" "Not every woman is wanted." "Right, especially Hong Kong women." "So arrogant, crude, and self-righteous." "Tell a joke, and it's sexual harassment." "Look at her and you're horny." "Ask for a date and she pretends to be busy." "You always pay for dinners." "Despises your Japanese car, really..." "Mr. Chou, I think you are..." "You women are all alike." "Ignorant, and love to interrupt." "You've heard of President Clinton?" "A very capable man." "Got in trouble, nearly impeached." "Why?" "Bad wife!" "Doesn't cook, talking all the time." "Makes a husband lose dignity." "He needs to cheat to tolerate that." "That stupid woman should be sent home." "For doing damage to her husband!" "Who knew..." "I feel we can no longer discuss this." "You think you're so wonderful." "Rude, bitchy, tyrannical and opinionated." "Just like my ex-wife." "Working, not staying home with the kids..." "If you don't hang up, I'm leaving!" "No, our buddy is a bit temperamental." "But what he says makes sense." "Feminist activists only harm fellow women." "What does a woman most care about?" "What do you most often write about?" "It's love, isn't it?" "You can't just talk about love." "You must back it up with action." "Cooking, housework are big parts of love." "Right?" "Did you pay off that guy?" "Women often imagine these things." "She's gone?" "I think so, let's enjoy a song." "Miss Ng, please listen:" "I'm sorry." "He was out of line, don't blame him." "Sorry, please listen to me." "Miss Ng!" "You were right leaving like that." "Too bad you didn't talk about your book." "I'm going to put a cockroach in your mouth." "You got it made." "The gossip pages will carry your picture." "I should have taken some good PR photos." "It's okay, I'll bring this tape to Claudia." "You know who she is?" "Chair of the EOC." "He's dead meat." "You asked for more "wewungwung"" "It depends on the situation." "I thought you had a brain." "Now the EOC is on our back." "Saying we let our DJs chew out women." "What shall we do?" "Did you find that guy?" "If so, kill and silence his whole family." "I don't have to work here." "Poetess Li Qing Zhao." "Widowed and alone in her middle years." "Was a refugee when her country fell." "And felt she was getting older." "In looking back, she wrote." ""Slow Sounds", now a classic." "Where is the Vinyl Records show?" "Programming changes?" "Thanks!" "Searching, finding." "Cold, quiet." "Pathetic, woeful, lonely." "Mo Mo, come!" "Get the ball, Mo Mo!" "Mo Mo, catch!" "Catch!" "Mo Mo, over here." "What happened?" "Throwing a fit?" "Every letter is demanding your return." "Too bad your boss didn't say anything." "He sent me to tempt you to return." "Really?" "So this lunch is a company expense?" "Excuse me, the wine list, please." "Wine is big part of temptation." "Boss is being very humble." "He didn't blow when you stormed out." "And defended you in front of the press." "Tell him another station made an offer." "Really?" "Would I still eating with you then?" "I thought I could cross over with you." "If they did, you wouldn't eat with me?" "Eat." "That grass is less digestible than meat." "Cows have four stomachs, you only have one." "Hello?" "Yes!" "The reception is bad, wait a moment." "Yes..." "Hello, may I borrow your paper?" "Thanks!" ""Luna Ng's column will return tomorrow"" ""Lung Ng to Star in Chatroom"" "All right, let's go!" "Countdown, 4, 3, 2, 1!" "Hello, I'm Luna Ng!" "Welcome to "Love Chatroom"" "This caller has an extramarital problem." "Guess if she's the wife or a concubine." "Miss Ng, I want to die!" "I joined this company as a secretary." "Never thinking a year later," "I would be pregnant with my boss's child." " I love him..." " Cut!" "Tell her to react!" "Miss Ng, Director told you." "You have to react more." "Like, "You're pregnant?" "Congratulations!"" "And so on!" "I'll interrupt her reading." "It's boring if you don't interact." "Try again." "Action!" "Not one good-looking one." "This one's not bad." "Just because she exposes flesh?" "Buck teeth, thin as a rail." "Nasty man!" " Save it!" " What?" "Capable men don't have to be handsome." "But an ugly woman..." "You're capable?" "Ever see K.S. Li chatting in the daytime?" "Fat guy!" "Don't despise me because I'm fat." "Fat people are useful in cold weather." ""Hugging a fat man beats wearing a fur coat"" "Women diet, they have cold hands and feet." "Frozen meat!" "Where's my dictionary?" "After this, I can't spell any more." "Why did you take my dictionary?" "I was being nice and handed it to you." "Without a "thank you"." "Thanks; tell them to leave me alone." "I've had it!" "They won't try you again." "You embarrassed Max." "I'm embarrassed!" "I told you I can't handle it." "But you promised to do the audition." "You must refuse all the way." "I asked you to prepare but you refused." "If it worked, you won't still be," "Patching your column together." "Look at Chua Lam, the famous columnist." "Flying first class all over, every month." "You're shut in here every day." "Let me do what I know how to do." "If you love me." "I do, so I'm thinking for you." "I even bought champagne." "It's useless now." ""A face I don't want to see."" ""Keeps returning to me."" ""I hope it will soon pass me by."" ""Extra roads I have walked."" ""Won't bring me back to the start."" ""How did I ever meet you?"" ""If I told you all my troubles."" ""It would be pointless as shower gel."" ""Cleaning the memories."" ""Exposing love and envy."" ""Who is wrong, wrong becomes right."" ""My heart wants this precious love."" ""Why did you go far away."" ""Without saying "no":" "I feel a loss."" ""Ten yesterdays." "Bring nine memories."" ""Without you, I struggle with confusion."" ""One more day, love will bring us together."" ""I feel it's getting closer."" ""Remembering yesterday, it will come true."" ""Without you, I struggle with confusion."" ""One more day, love will bring us together."" "Thanks!" "This is mine, that's for my boyfriend." "Lucky you, a boyfriend who reads with you." "He doesn't, but I try." "So I'm getting him one." "Be careful when shopping for a boyfriend." "I understand." "I know about you fight with Cheung Yung." "Well, his show is cancelled." " No, he's returning tonight." " Really?" "There's an advert in today's paper." "Really?" "Beware of his attacks." "That's right." "It's me again." "Do you watch X-Files on TV?" "One character is very evil!" "He dies, but returns after a few episodes." "To continues to wreak havoc." "I am that character." "What do you hear?" "Humble pie?" "No!" "It's a new invention, Arrogant pie." "You'll hear how well it works." "But first, a song." "Your stomach's growling." "I just exercised." "Let's go eat." "You're so fat, let's not." "You're like a stove, and sticky, too." "You bit the hand that fed you." "A friend promised to introduce me to a guy." "But she never does so." "How rude?" "Once, when we were both drunk." "I asked "What about your promise?"" "She drunkenly explained." ""You will both hate me for life."" "Why?" "I asked, and she said." ""Because you're both so ugly."" "Stop laughing!" "I was sympathizing with you." "You?" "Sympathize with me?" "I understand, okay?" "We both have the same problem." "So, what's her name?" "Why?" "To see if I know her." "Maybe she wanted to introduce me to..." "You!" "Of course not, I'm so handsome." "Where?" "Who?" "Right here!" "Shameless!" "Want to go eat?" "Whatever!" "What's this?" "Reception said someone left it for you." "Open it!" ""Congrats on new start, leave me alone"" ""From new moon to full moon"" "Yes?" "You eat, don't you?" "How did you get my number?" "You eat, don't you?" "Depends on mood, weather, with whom." "It's a dark, cloudy day." "Perfect for a duel with your nemesis." "2 p.m., Times Square taxi stand." "Bring your white umbrella." "I said we'd meet there." "So why do I see you here?" "Been here long?" "Thinking I'd stand you up?" "I sincerely asked you out to talk." "About what?" "The sun came out!" "Wrong weather for dueling, let's eat." "First, let me explain our misunderstanding." "Will you listen?" "Spare me!" "You smile now, but you may cry later." "You hated me." "Because I wouldn't return your "love gift"." "Actually." "I have a personal, distressing reason." "Let's walk and talk." "In high school, I fell in love with a girl." "This was over 10 years ago." "The Discman just came out, cost a fortune." "I wanted to get her one for her birthday." "So I took on extra tutoring jobs." "Till I got hoarse." "But..." "She was walking, listening to the Discman." "When she crossed the street." "A truck crashed into her." "She lasted four days in the hospital." "But in the end..." "It was here, at Hui's Fruits." "She was crossing the road to come here." "Listening to the Discman I gave her." "So you should understand." "I do!" "I understand Hui's Fruits was not here then!" "I grew up here!" "I tell you my tale of woe." "While you defeat it with logic." "How heartless of you." "May I go now?" "I wanted to take you to lunch." "How can you eat when you're so sad?" "Sad people eat, too." "Only if you apologize, and say the tale was." "False, empty lies." "Well, I was joking..." "False, empty lies... say it!" "You..." "Did you really grow up here?" "Of course not." "Causeway Bay is too loud for authors." "You should work in Social Services, deny pensions." "Save the city billions of dollars every year." "Let's go eat." "You have snot on your nose." "I do not!" "Don't you get tired of joking?" "Was I joking?" "This is to thank you for the book." "Which is an appetizer, the note is the entree." "I hope you understand." "My job is to upset people." "Upset others, there are seven million of them." "I finished your book." "Really?" "It'll give me much to talk about this week." "The listeners must be bored with this." "In the X-Files, some characters just die." "You've been listening?" "I didn't want..." "I have to greet a friend." "Hello, it's you." "I'm meeting some buddies to talk." "Look like I'm in the wrong place." "I must go, enjoy." "Bye!" "The food is bad here, let's go." "Goodbye!" "Don't feel bad, maybe..." "You..." "You asked me here for this?" "You think I have psychic power?" "You've gone too far this time!" "The curry is too spicy, get the bill." "Open up!" "I said sorry, please open up!" "Listen, open the door." "You were with the DJ, and that was okay?" "Is that fair, man?" "No!" "Open up!" "Pick up the phone." "We're waiting for your column." "The Boss is really mad, hurry." "Boss is mad;" "says don't bother!" "Sorry!" "Susan." "You?" "!" "You want?" "Headache?" "Are you sick, or did I scare you?" "I've been calling you for an hour!" "I was afraid something happened." "C.H. Yuen!" "You horrible man!" "You waited till I'm dying to come." "I'II..." "I'll kill you." "This is what I get after all these years?" "But that's just like before." "My mum said you called." "I was just thinking of you then." "I've missed you after all these years." "I've finally found." "I still love you the most." "Thank goodness I showed up in time." "You would have died in there." "You'll have me to be with in Vancouver." "You won't drink a whole bottle of whiskey." "Who's going to Vancouver with you?" "You threw out my gift of love." "That wasn't my fault." "We were moving to a new home." "Mum gave away all my records." "She says no one uses them any more." "It's true, everyone has CDs now." "The record made us find each other." "So it's good thing." "I don't care." "You broke up with that guy." "And I with Irene." "That's too much of a coincidence." "We're an old couple." "We know each other well." "Isn't it like an old sofa." "Extra comfortable." "My house in West Van." "Is very quiet and comfortable." "I'll turn the basement into your office." "Squirrels will knock on you window." "They have Chinese papers and magazines." " Thanks, go ahead!" " You..." "Remember to take this four times a day." "I'll go get plane tickets, then help you pack." "Go on!" "To Central, please." "Remember your medicine!" "I didn't know you knew Sabrina." " I know her husband well." " Really?" "She always tells me to see your antiques." "It's all just junk, not antiques." "I used to go to the flea markets in Europe." " Really?" " Yes." "I often found things full of stories." "Really?" "Yes." "Let me show you something." "All right!" "The Duchess of Windsor's husband's pen." "You mean the Duke of Windsor." "No, her former husband, Mr. Simpson." "You mean O.J. 's cousin?" "You're so funny!" "It's so nice to talk to you." "Really?" "Let's have dinner together." "Sure!" "What do you like to eat?" "Cutie pie!" "I like to eat cutie pie." "You are cute." "So, tomorrow night?" "Sure!" " I'll pick you up." " Sure!" " Goodbye!" " Bye!" "Sure!" "Hello!" "Hello!" "How are you?" "Long story!" "Sorry I couldn't help last time." "So much has happened since then." "It's a long story." "Do you take used books?" "We don't sell books here." "Can't sell new books, much less used ones." "True!" "Do you have a lot of them?" "Yes, I'm immigrating." "Can't take them all." "I know someone who buys used paper." "But it's by the pound, he doesn't pay much." "For recycled paper?" "No thanks!" "You can't give them away." "Well, let me think about it." "Thank you." "Good luck!" "It's me, Susan!" "It's been a long time." "Boss says sorry, please write for us again." "So do him a favour." "Call me, bye." "It's Susan again." "Boss says he'll run you piece tomorrow." "Are you home?" "Call me, bye." "It's Susan; where are you?" "You don't return calls, turned off your pager." "It will be empty here, where will you hide?" "Hi, it's Cheung Yung!" "I often talk in front of a microphone." "This is my first time solo on the phone." "I'm actually nervous." "Somehow we've been fighting since day one." "Like we were enemies in out past lives." "I want to talk to you about yesterday's lunch." "I really didn't know it would happen." "I'm a bad, nasty guy." "But not as evil or powerful as that." "You may not believe this." "Maybe I've become a Godzilla in your mind." "I was trying to become your friend." "I've fought with you, read your essays." "I feel like I've known you a long time." "But we've never talked calmly." "I won't waste any more of your tape." "When you have time, I mean you really have time." "Call me at 9271-4193." "Also, I've subscribed to that paper." "I hope to see your column every day; bye." "She was asking where Golden Mall was." "I mimed it out, but she didn't understand." "I couldn't understand her Italian English." "So I brought her there." "And after buying pirate CDs?" "We went to the Night Market, had a drink." "And then?" "And then..." "Did she give you anything?" "I don't even discuss that with men." "How can I tell you?" "I told you everything." "You stopped before you got to the bed." "He didn't ask me to bed." "That's all the same anyway." "No people do martial arts first." "A Caucasian girl, she must be tall." "Was she a head taller than you?" "Just perfect!" "Really... very tall." "Right here, that must have been a great." "That time with you was great, too." "You looked so funny." "And you didn't laugh?" "Stop laughing." "Mo Mo!" "Oh, no!" "What shall we do?" "Let's go home and look there." "It's dawn!" "Don't worry, he knows his way." "He may not, after flirting with girls." "Mo Mo is better than that." "I thought you hated him?" "He pees on your leg, can't guard the house." "I've developed feelings for him." "What?" "Picking on me?" "What, taking it out on me?" "It's your fault, you were talking." "Or he wouldn't have run off!" "If we lose him, I'll never speak to you again." "That would be great." "Mo Mo, where have you been?" "You scared Mommy, you bad boy." "Must you do that?" "Do you still want this bad boy?" "Go away!" "Don't elbow me!" "Can you?" "When we're this close?" "This close..." "You're bad!" "Remember Luna Ng?" "My guest last month, the columnist who." "Stormed out and lost all dignity?" "Unpredictably, she's back at her own will." "Hello!" "It's such a surprise you wanted to come." "I can't find that woman-bashing guy for you." "Sorry, my schedule is erratic." "My Cycles have stopped." "I mean my column." "How did that happen?" "Now I can't bear to attack you." "Go ahead, it's your last chance." "I'm getting married." "What?" "Really?" "Yes, I'm going to get married." "Congratulations." "Thank you!" "I wanted to come to thank you." "May I say a few words?" "Months ago, I was in a junk shop." "I found a record I had given my first love." "The first gift I had ever given a man." "If I were you." "Something so important, in a junk shop." "What would you do?" "Someone else got it before me." "A DJ bought it." "But he wouldn't let me have it." "And said rude things on the air." "I still think it was for your own good." "Yes, now I agree." "If not for you." "I wouldn't have called my boyfriend." "And if not for that." "I would not have reunited with my first love." "You're marrying him?" "Yes!" "So I want to thank you!" "You forgave him for selling your gift?" "I accepted his explanation." "You're so easy-going?" "Maybe, I believe in destiny." "Yes, women tend to believe that." ""All lovers reunions are beyond words"" "I think you wrote that in your column once." "I think it was called "Old Loves"" "About an umbrella, right?" "No matter what, I congratulate you." "Luna." "If I can find "As time goes by"." "I'll dedicate it to you." "Let's go to commercials." "Luna Ng." "I'm immigrating, flying tonight." "Keep it as a memento." "C.H." "Yes sugar." "Or there's "honey", "sweetheart", "darling"." "Remember why we broke up?" "No, I don't!" "Was it because of a fight?" "No, because we stopped fighting." "And quietly went to dinner, movies." "Then quietly didn't call each other." "You like to fight?" "That's easy, when we get to Canada." "We'll fight about everything, okay?" "It's hard on you." "I don't mind." " But..." " But what?" "Nothing!" "A new nemesis is immigrating tonight." "I wonder if she's on the plane yet?" "In any case, I'm giving her." "This song." "(I wish you bluebirds in the spring)" "(To give you heart a song to sing)" "(And then a kiss, but more than this)" "(I wish you love)" "(And in July, a lemonade)" "(To cool you in some leafy glade)" "(I wish you health, and more than wealth)" "(I wish you love)" "(My breaking heart and I agree)" "(That you and I could never be)" "(So with my best, my very best)" "(I set you free)" "(I wish you shelter from the storm)" "(A cozy fire to keep you warm)" "(But most of all, when snowflakes fall)" "(I wish you love)" "Why must you always do this to me?" "Why?"