"GHORUS SINGS:" "The Simpsons" "Homer's Night Out" "[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]" "[WHISTLE BLOWS]" "[BEEPING]" "[LISA PLAYS SOLO]" "[TIRES SCREECHING]" "[SCREAMING]" "[MARGE HUMMING]" "How was the office birthday party?" "Oh, it was delightful!" "The frosting on the cake was this thick!" "And Eugene Fisk, my poor sucker of an assistant didn't know the punch was spiked and made an ass of himself flirting with the new girl in maintenance." "Does she like him?" "I Warn you, Marge the poor thing has the hots for yours truly!" "Homer!" "Just keeping you on your toes." "[GASPS]" "two hundred and thirty-nine pounds!" "I'm a blimp." "Why are all the good things so tasty?" "From now on, exercise every morning." "[GRUNTlNG]" "You're not a blimp." "You're my big, cuddly teddy bear." "BART:" "Ah, baloney." "Yeah, right." "Oh, give me a break." "WoW!" "Cool, man!" "[BART chuckling]" "[BART humming]" "[GARGLlNG]" "Oh, no!" "two hundred and thirty-nine pounds!" "I'm a Whale!" "Why Was I cursed With this Weakness for snack treats?" "Well, from now on exercise every morning, Homer!" "MARGE:" "Oh." "Don't strain yourself, dear." "Good idea." "By the way, Friday night I'll be attending a get-together with the boys." "Eugene is marrying a girl in maintenance." "Homer, is this some kind of stag party?" "No, no, Marge, it's gonna be very classy." "A tea and crumpet kind of thing." "Eugene Fisk." "Isn't he your assistant?" "No!" "My supervisor." "Didn't he used to be your assistant?" "What's this, the Spanish Acquisition?" "Sorry, Homer." "[DOORBELL rings]" "Uh-oh, it's the fe-mailman!" "Fe-mail carrier, Bart." "Lady, where's my spy camera?" "Where's my spy camera?" "FE-MAlLMAN:" "Every day:" "Where's my spy camera?" "Where's my spy camera?" ""Where's my spy camera? "" "Where's my spy camera?" "Here's your stupid spy camera!" "Oh, thanks, man." "Whoa, man." "Look at the size of this thing." "I Wonder if it really Works." "Because I've got a lot of spying to do." "[HOMER GRUNTlNG]" "Bart!" "What are you doing?" "Sorry, Dad." "The answer to that is top secret." "[HOMER GRUNTS]" "[buzzing]" "[MARGE humming]" "MARGE:" "Oh." "Oh, Bart." "What?" "Go take some wildlife pictures or something." "[BART humming]" "Uh-huh." "Gross!" "Mom!" "Bart was taking a picture of his butt!" "Like I'm really gonna take a picture of my butt." "Stop it, you two." "And put on some nice clothes." "The four of us are having dinner at the Rusty Barnacle." "Yay, fried shrimp!" "Aw, Mom, can't we just grab a burger at--?" "Only four of us?" "Who escaped?" "Your father." "He's having a boys' night out." "MAN:" "Just as I Was asking myself:" ""Where did my 7-year-old boy get the money for a Father's Day present? " I opened the box and inside was little Eugene's baseball glove." "He gave me the one thing that mattered most to him in the world." "Eugene, When I see you the one who matters most to me, married tomorrow I'm going to know just how you felt that day." "I love you, Dad." "I love you, son." "Where am I, the planet Cornball?" "It'll pick up once the entertainment gets here." "Ooh, entertainment!" "Yes, sir." "Ahoy!" "I spy the children's menu!" "Ahoy!" "This place bites!" "Bart!" "So, what's it gonna be, me little bucko?" "Let's see...." "This evening, I shall go for the squid platter." "EW." "With extra tentacles, please." "Oh, Bart. Excuse me, sir." "The party next door seems to be a little raucous." "Gould you please ask them to quiet down a bit?" "Aye, aye!" "[GRUNTlNG]" "Try and keep it down, guys, okay?" "Hey, shut up." "[singing "BARNACLE bill THE sailor"]" "BART:" "Hmm." "Here you go." "There you are." "For the baby." "And one squid platter." "Extra tentacles." "Heh, heh." "Quit fooling around and eat!" "Yeah, eat it, Bart." "BART:" "May I please be excused for a minute?" "Okay, but don't dawdle." "Your food will get cold." "[BART GROANS]" "Okay, Eugene one last taste of bachelor freedom." "[BELLY-DANClNG music PLAYS]" "Presenting Princess Kashmir queen of the mysterious East." "[MEN cheering]" "now, this is What I call a party!" "how do I tell you this?" "We're in hell." "[chuckling]" "Look at him squirm." "KASHMlR:" "Gare to dance?" "She wants you, Homer!" "GARL:" "Go for it, Homer!" "[KASHMlR giggling]" "Shake it, Homer!" "HOMER:" "I'm sorry, I don't usually laugh like this." "BART:" "Ay, caramba!" "WoW, man." "HOMER:" "This is the most fun I've ever had in my life!" "The meeting of the future photographers of America is in session." "We would like to welcome our new member, Bart Simpson." "People, people don't applaud." "Let's get to work." "My goodness!" "Quite exciting!" "girl:" "Extremely sensual." "The grays recall the work of Helmut Newton." "Who's the sexy lady?" "Beats me, but the guy dancing with her is my pop." "WoW!" "He brings to mind the work of Diane Arbus." "I'd like a print of your masterwork." "Me too" "Yeah, me too." "Sorry, guys." "No can do." "ALL:" "Oh." "Gome on, Bart. You're making me a print, aren't you?" "Will you swear not to let anyone get a copy of this?" "Okay." "Gross your heart?" "Stick a needle in your eye?" "Jam a dagger in your thigh?" "Yep." "Eat a horse-manure pie?" "Yep." "Well, okay." "Look What I got?" "I gotta have a copy of that." "Sorry." "Oh, come on." "Well, okay." "How come Milhouse gets a copy of your girlie picture and I don't?" "I thought I Was your friend too." "Well, okay." "Son, why are you wasting your time with this sleazy trash?" "Sorry, Dad." "Wait till I show the guys at work this little doozie." "Mike, this is Al." "Just wanted to thank you for the informative memo you faxed me." "Here comes the boss." "Gotta go." "Rev. Lovejoy, your wife confiscated this from one of the choirboys." "LOVEJOY:" "This sheep has strayed." "His name's" "SMlTHERS:" "Homer Simpson, sir." "A low-level employee in Sector 7G." "Simpson, eh?" "A family man?" "Wife and three kids." "I'd like to see our self-styled Valentino tomorrow morning, Smithers." "[laughing]" "What are We laughing at?" "One glazed and one Scratch and Win, please." "You look familiar." "Are you on television?" "You got me confused with Fred Flintstone." "[chuckling]" "Oh, Liberty Bell." "Another Liberty Bell." "One more, and I'm a millionaire!" "Gome on, Liberty Bell, please, please, please, please." "D'oh!" "That purple fruit!" "Where were you yesterday?" "Hey, hey, looking good." "What do you Want?" "BOY:" "Hey, mister?" "[humming]" "A do-dee do-dee do to you too, pint-size." "A lot of nut cases in here." "Sir, I've seen things you can't imagine." "Hey, hey, hey!" "I hear you, buddy." "Full moon." "Mmm!" "Still got it." "[whistling]" "MARGE:" "What is the meaning of this?" "!" "[babbling]" "Meaningless." "Don't even try to find meaning between me and Princess Kashmir!" "Princess who?" "Hey, my photo." "Your photo?" "!" "Uh-oh." "Why you little--!" "Why you big--!" "Go to your room!" "I'm out of here." "Look, Marge." "Honey, baby, doll." "Homer." "I don't even Want to look at you right noW." "What are you saying, honey?" "But Where Will I sleep?" "My suggestion is for you to sleep in the filth you created!" "Would a motel be okay?" "[MARGE GRUNTS]" "[sighs]" "[DOG barking]" "Oh, I knew you'd come to your-- MARGE:" "Here." "If you have any soul left, you'll need these." "I know I Will." "[sniffs]" "It's ladies night and you're not checking out the action." "Oh, Moe." "My wife gave me the old heave-ho because of some lousy picture." "What, this one?" "D'oh!" "So where you staying tonight, Homer?" "Motel, I guess." "Oh, no." "No pal of mine is gonna stay in some dingy flophouse." "If you get hungry in the night there's an open beer in the fridge." "Look, Barney, see the row of tiny lights up there?" "The middle one is my house." "Someone left the porch light on." "Hey, that's rough, pal." "[PHONE KEYS clicking]" "Hello, Marge?" "Your porch light's on!" "Barney!" "Homer's not made of money!" "MARGE:" "Who 's this?" "Don't listen to him." "it's you!" "[dial TONE SOUNDS]" "Homer, you're overwrought." "Why don't you unwind a little bit?" "Party down the hall." "This apartment complex caters to upscale young singles like me." "[BELCHES]" "No, Barn." "I just Want to crawl into bed." "Suit yourself, Homer." "Nighty-night." "[sighs]" "[PARTY music PLAYS]" "I Wonder When Dad's coming home." "SMlTHERS:" "Homer Simpson!" "Report at once to Mr. Burns' office." "Oh, no." "What in blue blazes do you think you're doing, Simpson?" "What do you mean, sir?" "I mean this." "A plant employee carrying on like an oversexed orangutan in heat!" "This is a family nuclear power plant, Simpson." "Over 50 percent of our power is used by Women." "I will not have you offending my customers!" "It Won't happen again, sir." "I promise!" "May I get out of your sight now?" "BURNS:" "Just a second." "Smithers, would you leave the room?" "Yes, sir." "Simpson, I am by most measures a successful man." "I have wealth and power beyond the dreams of you and your clock-punching ilk." "And yet, I've led a solitary life." "The fair sex remains a mystery to me." "You have a way with women, a certain" "how shall I put it, animal magnetisma." "Help me, Simpson." "Tell me your secret." "Uh...." "Mr. Burns, in spite of what everybody thinks, I'm no lover-boy." "Simpson, I'm asking you nicely." "I don't know, sir." "Simpson!" "Well, Wine them." "Dine them." "Bring them flowers." "Write them love poetry, sir." "Of course!" "It's simplicity itself!" "I Won't forget this, Simpson." "Now return to your work!" "And tell no one of what transpired here." "Anybody home?" "Hi, Daddy." "Welcome back, Dad." "how's your mom?" "Still kind of ticked off." "Yeah." "Good luck, man." "Oh, thanks, boy." "Hello, Marge." "It's me, Homer." "Are you still mad?" "You are still mad." "Don't need to say it." "I'm your husband." "I can read you like a book." "I'll just have some milk." "Look!" "I'm not drinking out of the carton!" "Gome on, Marge!" "Please forgive me." "I'm sorry!" "I'm so sorry." "Homer, you don't even know why you're apologizing." "Yes, I do." "Because I'm hungry my clothes are smelly, and I'm tired." "I've been thinking." "You know what bothers me the most about this thing?" "You taught Bart a very bad lesson." "Your boy idolizes you." "He does not." "Yes, he does, Homer." "When he sees you treating women as objects, he'll think it's okay." "You owe your son better than that." "So, what should I do, Marge?" "Well, I think you should take Bart to meet this exotic belly-person." "I want him to see that she's a human being with real thoughts and real feelings." "I want Bart to see you apologize for the way you treated her." "Okay, your wish is my command, my little" "Do it!" "Princess Kashmir?" "You must mean April flower." "She's working over at the Girlesque." "Ooh...." "I'm teaching my son about treating women as objects." "That's a good idea." "But April's over at Foxy Boxing tonight." "It is an honor to have Springfield's number one swinger" "Forget that!" "I'm teaching my boy a lesson." "Is she here or not?" "Try Mud Gity." "Marge!" "We're gonna try one more place." "Sapphire Lounge." "Bart!" "I said, look at the floor!" "There she is." "Hey, princess, it's me." "The guy from the snapshot." "Oh." "Oh, hi." "MAN:" "Places, ladies, places!" "Gan I get just a little cooperation?" "I'm here because I want to apologize for treating you like an object." "I also want my boy to find out that you're more than just a belly." "I Want him to meet the Woman behind all the glitter and find out that she has feelings too." "Okay, but can we make it quick?" "Nice to meet you, ma'am." "Gould you tell him about yourself?" "Well, um." "My real name is Shauna Tifton." "My pet peeve is rude people and my turn-ons include silk sheets and a warm fireplace." "Thank you." "We'll be on our" "[HOMER screaming]" "[sings "l GOULD LOVE A million girls"]" "[WHlMPERlNG]" "Gool, man." "Get out of my cage." "My boss will freak out!" "Oh, no!" "KASHMlR:" "Out!" "Oh!" "No!" "Get your hands off." "Now!" "Oh!" "Oh!" "[screaming]" "Ooh." "Uh." "Ooh." "Uh." "Get off my stage, fat boy!" "It's the guy from the picture." "Homer Simpson!" "Sorry." "I didn't recognize you at first." "Ladies and gentlemen it's an honor to have a real swinging cat with us tonight:" "Homer Simpson, party guy." "[cheering]" "Mr. Maestro." "[singing "l GOULD LOVE A million girls"]" "Hey." "Ooh...." "Look out." "Yeah." "[chuckling]" "how does he do it, Smithers?" "He's a love machine." "Way to go, Dad." "Uh-oh." "Wait a minute." "Wait a minute!" "Stop the music." "Quiet, please." "I have something to say." "Quiet!" "You With the hair!" "down!" "Oh, no." "He's sunk even lower." "I have something to say to all the sons out there." "T o all the boys, to all the men, to all of us." "It's about Women and how they are not mere objects with curves that make us crazy." "No." "They are our wives, our daughters our sisters, our grandmas, our aunts our nieces and nephews." "Well, not our nephews." "They are our mothers." "And you know something?" "As ridiculous as this sounds I Would rather feel the sweet breath of my Wife on the back of my neck as I sleep than stuff dollar bills into some stranger's G-string." "Am I wrong or am I right?" "My wife gets the cutest little thing right here, When she smiles." "This is my Suzie." "Oh, so cute." "MAN:" "Bless the Wives!" "Here's mine." "You know, my mom sounded a little down the other day." "I better call her." "MARGE:" "Homer!" "HOMER:" "Marge!" "All right, folks, show's over." "No more to see." "Gome on." "Only sick people want to see my folks kiss!" "Subtitles by sdl Media Group" "[english SDH]" "Shh."