"Come on, Jo Ann." "Let's get up." "Come on." "No." "Yes." "Wake up." "You said to use guerrilla tactics if necessary." "You said to use guerrilla tactics if necessary." "Ok." "This is phase one, escalating every 60 seconds." "Let's go." "Get up!" "Get up!" "Ok, Jo Ann." "Here comes phase two." "You said you wouldn't marry me if I let you oversleep." "Just remember, this one's for love, babe." "Aah!" "Oh!" "You said that the morning was hypercritical." "Your words." "Your words." "I was drunk." "You don't drink." "I must drink." "How else could I feel this way in the morning?" "Jo Ann." "Ok." "Phase 3." "60 seconds to phase 3." "You won't like phase 3." "Come on, Jo Ann." "I've got something important to talk to you about anyway." "Seriously." "I'm about to compromise my values..." "Seriously." "I'm about to compromise my values..." "I think." "I'm gonna do something that some people might construe as unethical." "Well, sort of a little bit unethical." "I mean, not unethical really--just opportunistic." "Self-promoting more than unethical." "I just can't stand this waiting." "I want to get at it." "I want to practice law." "It's what I've wanted all my life." "When other kids were playing cowboys and Indians," "I was playing plaintiff and defendant." "I was playing plaintiff and defendant." "I want to go to trial." "I want to object and be sustained." "I want to pace up and down and wave my arms and bang on tables and be overruled and all that lawyer stuff." "Are you listening?" "Hmm?" "You know what we always talked about" "You as earth mother between your acting and modeling jobs, looking after crippled kids and the homeless and abandoned old folks;" "Me defending migrant farm workers--you know, fruit pickers and stuff." "Are there any fruit pickers in Massachusetts?" "Are you listening?" "Jo Ann." "Are you listening?" "Jo Ann." "Mmm." "Jo Ann." "Mmm." "You haven't heard a word I've said, have you?" "Mm-hmm." "Mm-hmm?" "Oh, well, uh, are you listening now?" "Hmm?" "Oh." "Oh, good, because I got a phone call this morning, and, well, it seems that I've been awarded the nobel prize for jurisprudence, and, well, the Harvard law school wants to have me bronzed" "and hung out over the law library." "Do you think I should do it?" "Hmm." "Mm-hmm." "And a big dinosaur came down mm-hmm." "And a big dinosaur came down and jumped on my head, and I caught on fire, and I was running around naked with feathers in my ears." "Should I do that?" "Mmm." "Oh." "Hypercritical, you said." "Oh!" "Oh!" "Robin!" "Oh, god!" "Come back here, you coward!" "Oh, god." "Oh. 7 A.M. why didn't you wake me?" "Hi!" "Oh, Jesus." "Steve, what are you doing?" "What are you doing?" "Nothing." "Just seeing if Duncan was in." "How come you're here so early?" "Uh, catching up." "Uh, catching up." "You know, filing, proofreading, the usual." "Yeah, tell me about it." "Are we still on for lunch?" "Yeah." "We got to be back for Roberta's birthday party at 1:30." "Half an hour to eat." "We better order ahead for that pork tartare." "How many of those things are you gonna eat?" "What?" "They're good for you." "Staying power." "You mean oysters, Steve." "Those are clams." "Oh." "Well, they're wet and slimy." "What's the difference?" "You know, you should really try some of these." "You know, you should really try some of these." "What for?" "I can't get a date." "What, no." "Are you kidding?" "I can't get near a girl." "I can't get near anyone." "If I were a tree, dogs wouldn't piss on me." "I had an imaginary playmate once." "Well, he liked you." "Nah." "He used to beat the shit out of me." "What's the matter with you?" "I just can't take it anymore." "Every day it's the same" "Research, file, proofread, research" "Robin, don't start again." "Nobody tries cases their first year out of law school." "Look, Steve, we work harder than anyone in that firm." "Nobody notices." "I got to do something to get their attention." "I got to do something to get their attention." "Hey, you guys, let's go." "Roberta's birthday party." "Let's move." "No, I can't make it." "I got to work." "That's a great way to get their attention." "Ignore a senior partner's birthday party." "Yeah." "We're going, babe." "You know, Roberta hates me." "Roberta hates everybody." "All women hate me." "Yeah." "They're right." "♪ The old gray mare ♪" "♪ She ain't what she used to be ♪" "♪ Ain't what she used to be, ain't what she used to be ♪" "♪ The old gray mare, she ain't what she used to be ♪" "♪ Many long years ago ♪" "♪ Many long years ago ♪" "Speech!" "Speech!" "God, it looks like the Chicago fire." "I know meticulousness is a virtue for lawyers, but do we have to be quite so unerring in the candle count?" "Make a wish." "It's never too late." "No!" "Now, you listen to me, you roach!" "You tell that client of yours that if he's not off the premises by noon tomorrow, that if he's not off the premises by noon tomorrow," "I will not only sue him, but I will send a 300-pound thumb-breaker down there to buff-dry the vaseline plastered to the little greaseball's head." "Baloney!" "The guy is greasier than Zorro's hatband." "So you tell that little hangnail to scribble out a check, and it better be good, because the only thing that I want to see bounce because the only thing that I want to see bounce is that little weasel's butt" "right out of the building!" "Bye!" "Cindy, would you get me a" "Oh, I'm sorry." "Could you hear that?" "Hear it?" "You blew the candles out." "What was that?" "That was a tenant." "He won't vacate." "My god." "You haven't had him guillotined yet?" "My god." "You haven't had him guillotined yet?" "I'm really sorry." "I guess I was a little bit overzealous." "Happy birthday." "Not at all." "We enjoyed it" "Particularly the part about Zorro's hatband." "That's a very original term in jurisprudence." "It's negotiation as art form." "I'm very sorry." "It was very industrious." "All right, cake for everyone, and noses back in your briefs." "You'll forgive the expression." "And thank you all very much." "And thank you all very much." "Sir." "All right, who's the hungriest person here?" "Cindy." "She carried the cake." "You slick son of a bitch." "Zorro's hatband?" "It just came to me." "Roberta's nostrils actually flared." "I swear to god." "Desperation is my middle name." "Weathers!" "Come on." "Weathers, damn it!" "You want me?" "The torkenson trial is on for tomorrow." "Why wasn't I notified?" "I sent you a memo last week." "No, you didn't." "I never got it." "Sir, did you check your box?" "Of course I checked my box." "You didn't send it to me, that's what." "Sir, I did." "No, you didn't." "All right, find it." "I know I sent it." "It has to be here." "I know I sent it." "It has to be here." "You never sent it." "What about these files over here?" "Keep your nose out of that." "That's another case." "I've been through that 50 times." "Maybe it's all mixed up on that stuff on your desk." "You're the one that's mixed up." "Why don't you just admit you never sent it?" "What's this?" "Here it is." "See?" "Dated June 12--last week." "How did that get down there?" "Trial June 19." "No continuance." "We're screwed, totally screwed." "What's the matter?" "The torkenson trial is on for tomorrow." "The torkenson trial is on for tomorrow." "There's no continuance, and I've never seen the files." "I can try it." "What's it about?" "You can try it?" "What's it about?" "Our client punched someone, and he's being sued for $50,000." "I know the case." "I can try it." "It's a pimple." "Let him try it." "What choice do we have?" "Our client is the president of a bank." "I can do it." "He can do it." "Phil, be serious." "He's a kid." "Go with him and hold his hand." "You can do it." "Yes, sir." "Good boy." "Good god." "Good god." "Thank you, sir." "Good luck." "Ha ha hah!" "You didn't." "Tell me you didn't." "Ok, I didn't." "You did." "You stonewalled Duncan on his own court date." "Robin, you're either gonna wind up on the supreme court or in San Quentin." "Maybe I shouldn't have done it." "Maybe I shouldn't have." "Maybe I shouldn't have." "It was unethical, wasn't it?" "Are you serious?" "Robin, you're kidding, right?" "You heard ames." "It's a pimple." "I'm sorry I didn't think of it myself." "You're right." "It's a great case." "I got a great game plan, and I can't lose." "I'm gonna call Jo Ann." "Are you guys jumping again?" "Are you?" "Hi, sweetheart." "Mrs. jamison, would you take the kids for a few minutes?" "The kids for a few minutes?" "I'd appreciate it." "Silly, isn't he?" "Silly." "Would you believe some of these kids couldn't talk when we got them." "And they're closing this program down." "More of the right wing's war against wasteful social programming." "Sometimes I think you'd like to give up the acting and do this stuff full time." "No." "I can only have my heart broken a few hours a day." "I got something for you." "What?" "It's for your collection." "It's a new don Wright." "Mm-hmm." "Ha ha ha!" "You like it?" "Oh, yeah." "This is an original." "Oh, yeah." "This is an original." "Oh, man." "Duncan." "Yup." "You happy?" "Oh, yeah." "I'm gonna get it framed." "So tell me all about the case." "Can't." "I don't want to be late for my first meeting with my first client." "Ok." "Your place or mine?" "Mine." "There's a slight problem with your bed." "Well, your side of the bed." "What did you do to my bed?" "You didn't think I was gonna let you get away with this morning, did you?" "I was just following orders." "Yeah, that's what Hitler's boys said." "What did you do to my side of the bed?" "What did you do to my side of the bed?" "I, uh, kind of tarred and feathered it." "You tarred and feathered my bed?" "With honey and saltines." "You're sick." "You're sick." "I'll undo it." "I promise." "Now that you're a litigator, you get a break." "I love you." "I'll see you." "I get to pace up and down and wave my arms and pound on tables." "Robin?" "Ok, we don't have very much time," "Ok, we don't have very much time, so let's go over your testimony and discuss your defense." "There's no defense, and I struck the man." "Excuse me?" "It's a loser." "Just drag it out." "Uh, I'm not sure that I follow." "Well, I want at least a 3-day trial, run up his fees." "He may get 50, but I want it to cost him 20." "3 days?" "It's a one-day case." "Just stretch it out." "That's all I ask." "Sir, shouldn't we try to win?" "I like your spirit, kid." "God knows I love a fight." "But, sir, I can win it." "You can't win it, son." "Trust me." "I hit people all the time." "I know." "I hit people all the time." "I know." "See you in court." "Great." "It's just because of tomorrow." "Probably." "Will you still marry me?" "What?" "This could be serious." "Robin, you're just preoccupied." "I'm a lawyer." "What kind of marriage are we going to have" "I'm a lawyer." "What kind of marriage are we going to have if trials make me impotent?" "I think you'll recover." "Do you think I was wrong, how I got the case?" "Uh, it's a close call." "Some people would call it initiative." "What would you call it?" "Creative sneakiness." "Oh, god." "Oh, god." "I got to make my own breaks, Jo Ann." "I didn't exactly finish at the top of my class." "You never even met your class." "You went to 3 lectures in 3 years, and you still finished in the top 10%." "You're gonna be great tomorrow, just great." "But the point is, I'm supposed to be calm, collected, and commanding." "I am a lawyer." "Here I am lying in bed, scared completely stiff." "Well, not completely." "Well, not completely." "Jerk." "Ha ha ha!" "Oh, god." "Laugh." "Go ahead." "Laugh." "It's a really funny joke." "Objection!" "He's groping, your honor." "Well, a little grope never hurt anybody." "Overruled." "Continue, Mr. weathers." "No further questions at this time, your honor." "How's he doing?" "I don't know, but he's having a great time." "Good." "What are you doing?" "What are you doing?" "I don't want Duncan to see me." "I should be working." "Mr. cowens, if we're not bothering you." "Yes, sir." "So let me get this straight." "The plaintiff, a trustee, criticized your bank's lending policy after a board meeting." "That's correct." "So..." "So you punched him." "I struck him because he was rude." "He called me an idiot." "But he never physically threatened you, did he?" "Nope." "Nope." "And there was no skirmish of any kind preceding your act of violence, was there?" "No." "Do you mind?" "No, sir." "You just felt like hitting him right out of the blue, so you did." "Isn't that right?" "I suppose so." "No further questions, your honor." "Redirect, Mr. weathers?" "Yes, your honor." "Mr. torkenson, how long have you known the plaintiff Mr. wilby?" "Oh, approximately 12 years." "Oh, approximately 12 years." "And over that duration, did you have an opportunity to form an opinion as to the character of the plaintiff?" "I did, yeah." "Could you please state that opinion for the court." "You mean what I really think of him?" "Your honest opinion, sir." "He's an asshole." "Objection!" "You bet." "Sustained." "The answer will be stricken." "Sidebar, your honor." "Sidebar?" "What for?" "Because I want a sidebar." "Uh." "I respectfully request, your honor, that the answer be allowed." "What?" "What?" "It should stand." "It is relevant." "And it's offensive." "Don't compound it, counselor." "Your honor, if I may" "Tell the witness to rephrase the answer." "Well, that's just it, your honor." "He can't." "The word has a very distinct connotation." "There's nothing else that quite captures it." "I object." "Are you saying the president of a bank can't articulate his thoughts without using profanity?" "What I am saying, sir, is that there aren't many words to describe the particular slime that your client oozes." "Objection." "Mr. weathers, just where in the name of god do you think you are?" "I think, your honor, that I'm in a place where every citizen can have his say." "Where every citizen can have his say." "Yes, yes, but not in any way he wants to say it." "Tell him to pick another word." "Like what?" "Deceitful?" "Dishonest?" "Conniving?" "They're all close" "Objection!" "But asshole really fits." "It's the only word that accurately describes the man, and we can demonstrate just that." "Everybody thinks he's an asshole." "Son of a bitch." "That's good, too." "Shut up!" "What the hell?" "Court's adjourned." "In my chambers, now!" "Duncan." "Fuff fuff fuff fuff fuff." "Duncan." "Fuff fuff fuff fuff fuff." "All right, now what kind of horseshit is this?" "I'm sorry, your honor." "I can't tell you how" "Excuse me, sir, but, your honor, you know as well as I do that the word has a unique meaning, and my client has a first amendment right to expression." "Give me a break." "Change the word." "Fine." "Give me the replacement." "Give me one word that captures the same inference." "One word." "You name it, and I will use it." "Sure." "Can you come up with a word?" "Sure." "Uh, antagonistic." "Antagonistic?" "With all due respect, counselor, you're making defense's point for him." "I still object." "I still object." "Oh, come on." "I move for a hearing on the matter." "What?" "You want me to have a special motion on the admissibility of the word asshole?" "Well, let me have "ass," then." "That's close enough." "What law school did you go to?" "I'll agree to it, your honor." "You will?" "Why?" "I don't want any interlocutory appeals." "What are you, a comedy team?" "All right." "We'll hear it tomorrow." "Just "ass," though." "We'll bring the jury back on Thursday." "That's OK with me." "Oh, good!" "What's this snot-nose doing in my courtroom anyway?" "You were scheduled for this trial, Duncan." "You were scheduled for this trial, Duncan." "We had a trial run over, your honor." "Mm-hmm." "I'll tell you what." "I'm holding you personally responsible for his behavior." "He steps out of line again," "I'm gonna hold you in contempt." "Me?" "Yeah, you!" "It's going on your record." "Any questions?" "Good." "Get out." "Uh, w-wait a minute." "I, uh" "Get out!" "Lunatic." "Moron." "Cretin." "We'll have to change the name of the firm to sleaze, sleaze, and panda." "Balls!" "Balls!" "Well, you got your 3 days." "I love it." "Ha ha hee hee!" "He's screaming at the judge, yelling, fighting, and I'm gonna be charged with contempt." "And they're really going to have that motion?" "Oh, yes, yes, yes." "They're going to argue over the word "ass."" "Can you imagine such language in a court of law?" "Well, that boy's got balls." "I'll have to give him that much." "No brains, but industrial-sized..." "Then geld him." "Then geld him." "Relax." "Give the kid some credit." "He's parlayed a little tort case into a first amendment battle." "He's demonstrated a willingness to embarrass this firm." "There's no telling how low he'll stoop." "Oh, I know how low he'll stoop." "Robin, what are you doing now?" "Steve, just the man I need." "We got to get Larry." "We've got to collect some books." "The word appears in all kinds of literature, from dictionaries to sonnets." "Look at these books." "Shakespeare, dickens, Hemingway," "Shakespeare, dickens, Hemingway," "George Bernard Shaw, James Joyce," "Lawrence, both d.H. And t.E." "Freud, faulkner, chaucer." "But it's not good enough for Mr. cowens." "He doesn't like it." "Too harsh." "Mr. weathers, please come out." "And face unpleasantries?" "Oh, I'll bruise." "And face unpleasantries?" "Oh, I'll bruise." "Mr. weathers, this court orders you to come out." "I'll come out, your honor, to face reality, but I won't stay out if you let plaintiff's counsel turn this courtroom into a fortress of censorship." "The swell of obscenity is everywhere." "Vulgarity has permeated almost every walk of life." "But here, the courtroom of America, has stood to stem the filthy tide of manmade decadence." "This place, the place where years of integrity, honesty, and dedication culminate for the few who earn the right to wear that black robe culminate for the few who earn the right to wear that black robe and be addressed as your honor." "Pffffft." "Objection!" "I object to this groveling drivel." "First he objects to the word ass, and now, your honor, he's kissing yours." "This is grounds for disbarment!" "Your honor, how can you stand this clown?" "Yeah?" "Yeah." "Why don't you grow up?" "Mr. weathers." "Mr. weathers." "Hey!" "That's it, counselor." "That gets him a contempt order." "Be sure you spell his name right" "D-u-n-c-a-n." "Ha ha." "In my chambers." "Weathers." "Weathers, you're fired." "You're finished, do you understand?" "You're through." "Let me tell you something." "Let me tell you something." "If you fire him, you'll not only lose our bank, you'll lose our 3 subsidiaries, and I'll personally see that you never represent another lending institution in this state." "He's great." "Great?" "Are you serious?" "You bet..." "Asshole." "Attorneys Robin "stormy" weathers and Matt cowens almost came to fisticuffs in what some insiders have described as the most brilliant legal engagement in recent years." "The only question now, Ted, is, will the two lawyers kill each other before we get a verdict?" "Before we get a verdict?" "If we fire him, we'll lose the bank." "We have to fire him." "We have our reputation, our dignity." "Neither of which means anything without our clients." "We need that bank, not to mention that we've had inquiries from 4 major firms directly due to Mr. Weathers." "What?" "One client cannot be worth an institution's integrity." "For the love of god, Craig, control him." "I can't." "He's not afraid of me." "I can't." "He's not afraid of me." "Little shit." "I don't know why the judge puts up with it." "He loves it." "Loves it." "He's been sitting in civil court for 30 dull years." "He gets off on it." "I won't have it, Phil." "It cannot continue." "Wait a minute." "Aren't--aren't we losing sight of something?" "This cowens kid is good." "He's very good." "Weathers has a no-win case." "He'll lose." "After he loses, torkenson's passions will cool, after he loses, torkenson's passions will cool, and then we'll quietly can the little bastard." "Hmm?" "Now, Mr. wilby, do you recall saying anything to the defendant on the morning of the day in question?" "I, uh--I don't remember." "But you did speak to him." "Probably." "I speak to him every morning." "About what?" "I don't know." "It could be most anything." "Well, did you tell him that you want to have a sexual encounter with his grandmother?" "A sexual encounter with his grandmother?" "Objection!" "He said it could be anything." "Ah, that's contempt order number two." "Charge it to him." "Mr. weathers, do you desire another?" "Sure." "What does he care?" "Your honor, why is it that he can remember the afternoon conversation word for bloody word, but for the morning, he's stuck for a topic?" "Because I wrote it down." "What?" "I wrote the afternoon conversation down." "Where?" "In my journal." "Is that how you remember?" "Yes, it is." "Do you have that book here?" "It's right over there." "Your honor, I want that book." "Objection!" "Objection!" "The law is clear, Mr. cowens." "Present recollection refreshed." "Produce the book." "What?" "You mean he can read it?" "All of it?" "Every smut-filled page, you disgusting worm." "Objection!" "Objection!" "Oh, that's novel." "Objection in two-part harmony." "Nope." "Too late." "That's it, counselor." "Contempt order number 3." "He keeps this up, maybe I can give you life." "I move for a suppression hearing." "I move for a suppression hearing." "Denied." "Ha ha ha ha ha!" "Nothing." "Absolutely nothing." "What did Duncan say?" "Duncan has stopped talking to me." "He had his eyes closed the whole time." "You know, I think that we should just take all this circumstantial material and just create whatever inferences we can." "And just create whatever inferences we can." "Sure." "Truth be damned." "Truth?" "What is this woman talking about?" "This is law." "Are you really going to marry this rabble-rouser?" "Bluh-bluh-bluh-bluh." "Jo Ann." "There's something I've got to ask you." "If I win this trial, try not to embarrass me." "What do you mean?" "Remember in law school when I won that mock trial, you started screaming and whistling and turning cartwheels?" "One." "One cartwheel." "And you mooned the prosecuting attorney." "I did not." "One cheek perhaps, maybe." "One cheek perhaps, maybe." "This is the big-time, so would you please try and temper your emotions?" "I'm gonna boo and hiss, and then I'm gonna moon the attorney for the defense." "Moon me later, OK?" "Isn't he cute?" "Shut up." "Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up!" "Shut up!" "The question's closed." "He can use the book to impeach, but, Mr. weathers, you better damn well but, Mr. weathers, you better damn well stick to the facts of this case." "Nothing--I repeat, nothing-- That doesn't concern the facts of this case is admissible." "If you so much as breathe one irrelevant excerpt from that book, I'll throw you ijail until you rot!" "You got that, mister?" "Rot!" "Yes, your honor." "You're positive?" "Positive, sir." "You're absolutely positive?" "Absolutely positive, sir." "Very well." "Proceed." "Now, Mr. wilby, I've read your journal." "Tell me, do you enjoy molesting little girls?" "Tell me, do you enjoy molesting little girls?" "What?" "!" "Lock him up!" "Duncan." "Right now." "And muzzle him." "Get one of those dog things." "Put it on his face." "Aah." "Your honor, I have cause." "You'd better damn well have a good-faith basis for this question, or this trial is over." "I'll direct a verdict for the plaintiff, and you'll never practice law in the commonwealth again!" "But, your honor-- In my chambers!" "But, your honor-- Now!" "How would you like this gavel tattooed to your forehead?" "Your honor, please read this top paragraph." "I don't want to read it." "You have to read it." "Please." ""I think I pressured her" ""into doing something she wasn't ready to do." "I forced her." "August 1956"?" "That's teenage sex, for god's sakes." "Those statements suggest the elements of rape." "You're out of your mind!" "He says he forced a girl to have sex." "He may have committed a crime, and if he was convicted of that crime, then it is relevant because the rules of evidence state that every conviction bears relevance upon the credibility of any witness who takes the stand." "That is the law." "I'll be damned." "Hmm." "I'll be damned." "Hmm." "Snot-nose grows up, huh?" "Violence begets violence, so I say to you make him pay." "Show him and everyone else like him that unprovoked violence has a price." "And that price is justice." "That's all I ask--justice." "Thank you." "Counselor?" "This is stupid." "All of this because one banker guy hits another." "It's called battery, defined as an offensive touching." "Now, ladies and gentlemen, you have to decide what's offensive." "A man calls you an idiot in front of your peers." "That's offensive." "That's offensive." "A man gets slapped, doesn't even get a scratch, and he wants a $50,000 band-aid." "That's offensive." "Now, think about susie Walker, a little girl whose whole body was burned when a boiler exploded." "Think about a little 8-year-old girl who never got one penny for her crippling injuries because she died before her case came to trial." "The man is totally without shame." "Yeah." "Then think of all the frivolous, meaningless cases in which nobody gets hurt that fill up the courts in which nobody gets hurt that fill up the courts so that the susie walkers never get there." "Objection!" "The man got slapped, and he wants 50,000 bucks!" "That's offensive!" "You're the one that should get slapped." "For that kind of money, beat me." "Susie Walker got nothing." "Who the hell is susie Walker?" "That's his attitude." "Who the hell is susie Walker?" "Who the hell gives a damn about her?" "Who the hell gives a damn who the hell gives a damn about crippled, dying children?" "That is offensive." "Now think about it." "That man did not get hurt." "He has wasted the court's time." "He has taken up a week of your life." "Now, everyone always says how terrible the court system is because it takes literally years to get a trial date." "Well, you wonder why." "He wants $50,000, and he can't even show you a bruise!" "He wants $50,000, and he can't even show you a bruise!" "I say don't give it to him!" "Tell this guy no, and maybe the next guy won't try it." "Send a message because there's a long line of guys just like him waiting for their chance to roll the dice." "Well, you tell them that their place is in Atlantic city, not in the courtrooms of America!" "Has the jury reached a verdict?" "Yes, your honor, we have." "And what say you, madam foreman?" "Your honor, we, the jury, acting in accordance with the laws of the commonwealth of Massachusetts, find for the defendant, Raymond torkenson." "Ah-hoo!" "Son of a bitch." "Somebody just said that I'm gonna be on national TV." "Well, don't squint, because your eyes disappear when you squint, and you'll be eyeless on national television." "You're nuts." "Was that spectacular?" "I think you're gonna have to give some serious thought to making that boy a partner." "It'd be good for business." "Just thought you might want to think about it." "They were wrong." "You're the asshole." "They were wrong." "You're the asshole." "Double time!" "Hee hee hee!" "And backwards!" "It's your client's party." "It's in your honor." "Have a little dignity." "What is that?" "♪ Da da da da ♪" "And they said the man couldn't dance." "And they were right." "Sir." "Sir." "Where's your date?" "Oh, she couldn't make it." "Ahem." "He got stood up." "I got stood up." "Ohh." "Told you I was a lonely guy." "Hey, is that cowens?" "What's he doing here?" "What's he doing here?" "I invited him." "Hey, you're both good lawyers." "You did yourself proud." "He's got as much cause to celebrate as you do." "Anyhow, I know you're both professionals." "You won't let your differences affect a social gathering." "On the other hand, maybe they'll slug it out." "Welcome." "There's a friend of yours." "Are you lost?" "It's a party." "I was invited." "I don't know if you realize this," "I don't know if you realize this, but this party is in honor of you being whipped." "The only thing whipped around here is your reputation." "Your client used you." "He'll hire me next, as soon as you get disbarred." "Yeah?" "Robin." "Why don't you tell the bimbo here to take a hike?" "Oh, that's it." "Bimbo?" "Let's go." "You got it." "It's not worth it, Robin!" "Robin!" "Stay back." "It's between us." "In the boathouse." "Robin?" "We have to stop them." "Let them get it out of their system." "They won't hurt each other." "They won't hurt each other." "Well?" "Well, what?" "Wipe this, you windbag." "We did it." "We did it." "We did it." "We did it." "We did it." "We did it." "We did it!" "Did you see the look on the judge's face did you see the look on the judge's face when I asked for a hearing on the admissibility of the word "asshole"?" "Wait." "We're supposed to be fighting." "Make some noise." "Make some noise." "Ha ha ha!" "What are they doing?" "They're probably talking it out." "Maybe not." "Let them figure that one out." "I can't believe this." "This isn't Robin." "We fixed a trial." "We fixed a trial." "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa." "We did not fix a trial." "All we did was stage the presentation." "We gave the jury the true facts, and they could have gone either way." "Man, all we did was tell each other what we were gonna do and say, hmm?" "You're right." "They think we're the fastest-talking, quickest-thinking, baddest-ass lawyers in the world!" "Awoo!" "Destruction." "Ow!" "Ow!" "Ow!" "I love this kind of human interaction." "Ha ha ha!" "Are you ready for this?" "I got an interview Monday..." "Ha ha ha!" "What?" "What?" "For the assistant d.A. Job!" "Whoo!" "I'm going down there." "I'm going down there." "They're coming." "Cowens!" "You asshole!" "It's OK." "It's OK." "He gave up." "You son of a bitch." "He put up a hell of a fight, though." "You're nuts." "All right, kid." "You kicked his ass twice." "I love it." "I love it." "Does that guy know how to swim?" "I told you that boy was partner material." "Partner?" "I thought we were gonna wax the little bastard's ass." "We agreed to fire him." "That's what we voted to do." "Famous or not, the man is a blight on our very existence." "I, for one, will no longer allow a born-again punk to degrade the reputation of this firm." "He's finished." "We shall not waiver from the only sound decision to waft from these walls in the past month." "Warren, tell them." "Based upon projections from the new clients that Robin weathers has brought in to date, the average earnings of each partner will increase this year by $28,000 to $32,000." "I'm delighted." "Thank you, sir." "Thank you, sir." "I'm sure you can imagine how excited we all are to have you as a partner." "I appreciate that, Roberta, and I hope that I can live up to your expectation." "I palpitate at the thought." "Thank you." "Um, if you'll excuse me now," "I have to meet the decorator." "He's here about the new office." "♪ For he's a jolly good fellow ♪" "♪ For he's a jolly good fellow ♪" "♪ For he's a jolly good fellow ♪" "♪ For he's a jolly good fellow ♪" "♪ Which nobody can deny ♪" "Thank god he's dead." "Who?" "Oliver Wendell Holmes, who founded this firm." "Roberta, he's been dead 50 years." "The longer, the better." "Let's not get carried away." "He's a partner now, and that's that." "Stormy weathers." "Couldn't we at least put an asterisk beside his name?" "You have a great deal to answer for." "My dear, a great litigator is never without an answer." "Ms. Jensen, bring it in, please." "And this is?" "The benoit case." "The benoit case?" "We decided to turn down the benoit case." "Oh, yes, we did." "Why?" "Unwinnable." "The man was caught with the murder weapon and the victim's blood-stained clothes under the seat of his car." "Exactly." "Unwinnable." "Diabolical." "Diabolical." "It stinks." "Yes, it does." "And not only that, but at the prospect of being represented by the incendiary Mr. weathers, professor benoit was easily induced to plunking down a retainer of $75,000." "Craig, have you any idea how cynical this is?" "What about our obligation to the client?" "Oh, yes." "Well, actually, I've taken a bit more credit than I deserve." "Benoit wants him." "He doesn't want anybody else." "Benoit wants him." "He doesn't want anybody else." "You told him the boy is one year out of law school with one trial?" "All right." "If the little weasel starts to sink," "I'll bail him out." "Well, I still don't like it." "What none of you wants to admit is that the kid is good." "We'll see." "You know the benoit case?" "The b.U. Doctor?" "I am defending him!" "What?" "You heard it." "Me." "Why?" "The bastards are setting me up!" "The bastards are setting me up!" "It's a complete no-win." "But it's a great chance." "You should be thrilled." "Thrilled?" "There could be a death penalty." "Not for the lawyer." "Oh, funny." "Maybe I can get him to confess or plead guilty." "Now, wouldn't that be somewhat in violation of his mandate as a defense attorney?" "So what?" "Jesus." "Why you?" "How strange you should ask that." "Let me explain something to you, Mr. weathers." "Through the vicissitudes of wholly gratuitous genetic accidents, through the vicissitudes of wholly gratuitous genetic accidents," "I was visited with extremely high intelligence." "I was further blessed, or burdened, as it were, with certain physical traits that would suggest, shall we say, good breeding." "Now, in this proletarian stew which today we laughingly call society, these attributes are not always advantageous." "You, on the other hand, are the current messiah of the blue collar, you, on the other hand, are the current messiah of the blue collar, the people's choice, a sort of pissed-off Abe Lincoln." "My story, which by the way is true, will be better served if you tell it." "You have to realize that I'm a creation of the media." "I've only tried one case in my entire career, and a murder case is a very complex beast." "Modesty is a banal and self-serving device." "It really doesn't become you." "And don't patronize me." "I have no tolerance for it." "Say what you mean." "Say what you mean." "This case can't be won." "I said what I meant." "I don't have the years of experience needed to recognize the traps and tricks that can sway a verdict either way." "Scott Murray is acting for the prosecution." "I'm not being modest when I say that" "I may be in over my head." "Nonsense." "I was there." "It was very impressive." "There?" "Come, come, come." "Don't be so slow." "Come, come, come." "Don't be so slow." "The torkenson case." "Yes." "You were remarkably intuitive." "That was a simple assault case." "If you analyze it unemotionally, this is just a simple assault case with somewhat more dire results." "If you equate a bloody nose with a hammer claw through the brain." "A matter of degree only, Mr. weathers." "You have the gift." "It was uncanny how you anticipated every move, turned every subtlety to your advantage." "Turned every subtlety to your advantage." "But most important of all, they liked you." "You have the common touch." "They wanted you to win, and they were looking for any reason to give you that win." "Well, that is what I need." "That is what I have paid for." "And according to your superiors, that is what I will get." "Oh, what a sweetheart" "Sort of a cross between Charles manson and William Buckley." "My god." "I can hear my opening statement now." "My god." "I can hear my opening statement now." "Ladies and gentlemen, I know my client had a motive, had opportunity, was caught with the murder weapon and the victim's blood-stained clothes and is a superior, obnoxious, elitist swine who makes you want to throw up," "but you're going to have to overlook all that." "Oh, now, don't underestimate yourself." "I mean, based on your work on the torkenson trial," "I'd say benoit's life is in good hands." "Let's go." "We got to get back to work." "Jo Ann?" "Jo Ann?" "Jo Ann?" "I'm in a bit of trouble." "I don't know how to tell you." "That's why I'm telling you while you're asleep." "You know how I got the trial, but what you don't know is that cowens and I set up the trial, too." "I don't want to exaggerate what we did." "I mean, we didn't bribe the judge or the jury or rig the trial, but we conspired to make ourselves look good." "Conspired." "Ooh." "I mean, that wasn't what we thought we were doing, but anyway, we set each other up but anyway, we set each other up so we could both be heroes." "I'm not excusing anything, but I thought it was more of a misdemeanor than a felony" "No harm, no foul, you know?" "Are you still asleep?" "Anyway..." "Afterwards, I felt really low, mostly because I knew that you would be disappointed in me." "Mostly because I knew that you would be disappointed in me." "But I thought I'd just go on, be a good guy, and everything would be all right." "But now I've been given a murder trial." "And you know why?" "Because the client saw me in the torkenson case, and he wants me because I was so brilliant." "I just feel like such a fraud because the torkenson trial, it..." "Seemed like a game show." "High theater, high jinks." "Now this thing comes along." "It's almost biblical." "But, Jo Ann, I got to tell you," "I love it." "The limelight, the attention, being on national TV." "Being on national TV." "I'm shocked." "I'm a junkie." "Now, I don't have to take the case, not really, but I just want to." "I always thought of myself as an idealist, but maybe I love glory more." "Well..." "It's been nice talking to you." "You're a good listener." "Oh, Robin." "Unfortunately, it doesn't matter unfortunately, it doesn't matter that her body was never found." "Brain tissue was all over her jacket." "Somebody's dead, and the jury will be perfectly willing to believe that it's Liza Williams." "Now please, let's go over your story one more time." "Shall I say it in hebraic this time or maybe Latin?" "They do still teach Latin in law school these days?" "Actually, yeah." "Steve, tell him the Latin for pain in the ass." "Uh, boxima ridem." "Very good." "Very good." "That plebian wit will serve us well." "Keep it up." "All right." "Again." "Liza Williams was a call girl in my employ." "She was blackmailing me." "She disappeared." "Her blood-stained clothes and the murder weapon, a hammer, were found in my car." "I have no alibi, and..." "We were heard arguing on the night that she disappeared." "Do you ever listen to yourself?" "What does this add up to?" "I'm telling you this for the last time." "Don't play peripatetic with me." "You're talking about a guilty plea." "You're talking about a guilty plea." "To manslaughter." "There's a reduced" "Don't waste my time!" "Listen, Doug, you don't seem to" "Understand." "Is that what you were about to say, Mr. weathers?" "Yes." "I understand every fiber of every little twitch of every little neuron in that sly little mind of yours." "Don't ever tell me that I don't understand." "I know what you're thinking before you think it." "I understand the ultimate conclusion to every one of these little legal peregrinations." "Did you think that I hadn't thought all this out?" "Did you think I was going to leave it all to you?" "Don't make me laugh." "I know that this case can't be won on the evidence." "Substance is not on our side despite my innocence." "Style is what will win this case." "And that is why you are here." "Do you know what you're like, Mr. Weathers?" "You're like one of those cute little performing seals that plays little tunes on horns." "They're adorable." "Everybody loves them." "But do you think anybody cares what tunes they play?" "No." "They just love to see them blow their little horns." "Well, you go out and start blowing your little horns, Mr. weathers." "Is this your version of a pep talk?" "Very good." "I'm impressed." "I am impressed." "Understand one thing, and we'll get along very well." "When I say something, I don't want an argument." "Just do it." "There will be no plea bargain." "Who is Luther Moses?" "Liza's pimp." "He's disappeared." "Ah." "Yes, now you're thinking." "He knew that she was blackmailing others as well as me." "He used to accuse her of holding out." "He had motive and opportunity." "Yes, demonstrate to the jury yes, demonstrate to the jury that he's just as likely a suspect as I am." "Why else has he disappeared?" "You tell me." "And what does that mean?" "Isn't it true that you had several altercations with Moses?" "We had an argument" "Oh, you had a bloody fistfight, and he beat you senseless!" "That is ridiculous." "He humiliated you, and you hated his guts!" "What are you talking about?" "Nobody ever beat me in my life." "Two people saw that beating" "Liza Williams and her mother!" "Liza Williams and her mother!" "He beat you, benoit." "He humbled you in front of them, and you hated him, and you killed him, and that's why he's disappeared!" "I presume you were taking the part of the prosecutor." "Of course." "Your point is well taken." "Since we cannot use Mr. Moses' disappearance, you will never mention Mr. Moses to me again." "Never." "What a warm guy." "He'll make a great witness." "Not thinking of jumping, are we?" "Nah." "There's a celtics game tomorrow night." "I'll jump Friday." "Tough day, huh?" "Tough life." "Ooh." "That's heavy." "You want to talk?" "If I knew where to start." "Wait a sec." "I can help." "Ok." "Go ahead." "Talk." "You heard it all, didn't you?" "Yes, I did." "Yes, I did." "What do you think?" "I think this is a revolutionary therapeutic technique that we've developed here." "I mean, this kind of counseling ain't cheap." "All right." "Give me a quarter's worth." "A quarter's worth?" "Well, yeah." "Don't I get some kind of a discount?" "Yeah." "For a quarter's worth, my advice is you should jump." "Well, what did you want for a quarter?" "I wanted you to tell me I'm right." "Can't do that." "Can't do that." "I can tell you that I love you." "I can tell you that I understand." "I can tell you that you're one of a kind and that you got a good heart, but I can't tell you that you're right." "You think I'm wrong?" "Of course you were wrong, Robin." "Don't come to me for absolution, all right?" "I'm not your mother or a priest." "I'm your lover." "I mean, you'd have to come up just short of murder for me not to support you, for me not to support you, but you can't ask me to make it right." "Just go out there and be a good guy." "It's all that I can tell you." "Fair?" "Fair." "We gonna take the case?" "Yes." "Is he guilty?" "He says not." "They all say not." "That's why they all have to be defended." "That's justice." "Yeah." "With all the justice there is in our legal system, you might as well play spin the bottle." "You might as well play spin the bottle." "Whoever it points to wins." "Ha ha ha!" "Sorry." "Ohh!" "That's great." "You've just invalidated my entire existence." "I think I'll jump." "No." "There's a celtics game tomorrow night." "Look." "All I'm saying is," "I mean, look at all that we've got." "I just--I just feel like we should be giving some of it back, and I'm not saying that we should be saints or martyrs." "I would just like to land somewhere between mother Teresa and imelda marcos." "Between mother Teresa and imelda marcos." "Sorry." "All right." "You're right." "We'll be the first yuppie missionaries with all the shoes we can eat." "Queer." "I know." "It's queer." "It's really dumb." "I love you, you know?" "I know." "It keeps me going." "Candy mead, benoit's former mistress." "Can't find her." "She's married and relocated." "You've got to find her." "We can't allow the jury to believe for a fraction of a second that benoit's capable of that kind of violence." "If he ever hit this candy mead, that's it, we're through." "Put another detective on it." "All right." "Now did you talk to benoit's wife?" "Gave her the whole litany" "Smile, hold his hand, be understanding." "She's actually very supportive of him." "And how was benoit?" "It was one of his good days-- warm, charming." "You could actually put him on the stand if he showed this side of himself." "Yeah?" "The guy's a chameleon." "I cannot get a fix on him." "I cannot get a fix on him." "Do I have your attention?" "Sit down." "I found him." "Who?" "A pathologist, Dr. c.R. Peckham." "Now he's willing to state that based on the blood sample from her jacket that Liza Williams died more than a week after she was seen with benoit." "That is great!" "Peckham's one of the best." "He's gonna be good on the stand, too." "He's firm, feisty, sense of humor." "That blows Murray's pathologist right out of the water." "Now all we got to do is keep Murray from painting benoit now all we got to do is keep Murray from painting benoit as a violent womanizer." "Is there anything we missed?" "I don't see how." "We've empanelled a good jury." "We've been over everything 10 times." "I think we're ready." "We're ready." "We're ready." "We're ready." "All rise!" "All rise." "Hear ye, hear ye, hear ye." "Lions and tigers and bears, oh, my." "All ye who have business before the superior court in and of the county of Suffolk in the commonwealth of Massachusetts draw near." "In the commonwealth of Massachusetts draw near." "Give your attention, and you shall be heard." "Be seated." "Ladies and gentlemen, we have a long way to go, so let's get to it." "Mr. Murray, Mr. weathers, we had reasonable decorum in the pretrial hearings." "I'd like to see that continue." "Bring the jury in, please." "Is the commonwealth ready to open?" "We are, your honor." "We are, your honor." "And the defendant's counsel, are you ready?" "Yes, your honor." "Very well." "Mr. Murray, proceed." "Good morning." "Good morning." "How are you?" "Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, let me begin by saying I'm sorry." "I'm sorry because what I'm about to do is not very kind." "I'm going to take 12 very fine people, most of you leading good, happy lives with lovely families." "Most of you leading good, happy lives with lovely families." "I'm going to make you live through the ultimate sin of man--murder." "You see, it's my job to make you feel the horror little Lisa Williams faced." "I'm going to ask you to close your eyes and hear the sick sound of crushing bone as the defendant repeatedly bludgeoned a helpless 22-year-old girl." "It's my job to make you hear the hollow crackle of a bashed skull it's my job to make you hear the hollow crackle of a bashed skull as the defendant beat and beat and beat his prey." "You'll almost be able to see the spattering of blood that must have been all over the defendant when he finished this act of terror." "I'm sorry." "But it's my job to tell you how life ended." "It's your job to decide what to do about it." "Mr. weathers, do you care to open?" "Yes, your honor." "Evidence." "Mm-hmm." "That's tagged, you know." "Hmm." "Mr. weathers." "That's how a hammer sounds." "I've never heard it hit bone before, but neither has he." "Mr. weathers." "Mr. weathers, that's enough!" "So let's skip the acoustics and get to the question" "Who did it?" "Who swung the hammer?" "Mr. weathers!" "Now the district attorney says, "close your eyes and hear it."" "Now the district attorney says, "close your eyes and hear it."" "Well, he has a great case as long as you keep your eyes closed." "The defendant, on the other hand, says, "keep your eyes open,"" "because you can't see the truth with your eyes closed, so keep them open." "Order!" "Order!" "Order!" "That is enough!" "You people in the courtroom, this is not Fenway park." "Mr. weathers, you're not gonna pull that in this trial." "Another stunt like that, and you'll regret it." "And you're gonna pay for that table." "Mr. Murray, your first witness." "The commonwealth calls Mrs. Martha Williams to the stand." "The commonwealth calls Mrs. Martha Williams to the stand." "Mrs. Martha Williams, please." "Robin." "It's cowens." "I guess he got the assistant d.A. Job." "That Murray's a smart son of a bitch." "Figures cowens knows you, knows your style." "Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth..." "Anything unusual occurred on the evening of November 12?" "Well, Liza was extremely upset." "Do you know why she was so upset?" "Yes." "She'd had a terrible argument with Dr. benoit." "Do you know why this particular argument upset your daughter?" "Yes." "She said that Dr. benoit had threatened to kill her." "Object, you fool." "Did she say why he wanted to kill her?" "Did she say why he wanted to kill her?" "Object!" "She'd been blackmailing him." "Robin." "He said if she didn't stop, he'd kill her." "No further questions." "Objection!" "Untimely, Mr. weathers." "I move to strike, your honor." "No." "I'm gonna allow it now." "Mr. weathers?" "I have no questions, your honor." "The witness may step down." "The witness may step down." "The one thing they didn't have was predisposition, and now they've got it." "Your honor, the commonwealth calls Dr. Charles peckham to the stand." "What's he doing?" "Check the witness list." "Here it is." "I thought it was our list." "I'm sorry, Robin." "Why is he calling our witness?" "He's gonna discredit him, our one expert." "It's the oldest trick in the book." "It's the oldest trick in the book." "Object." "I can't." "I've already accepted the witness list." "I'm sorry." "The whole truth, and nothing but the truth?" "But you are familiar with the degradation propensity of amorphous materials, are you not?" "I'm a pathologist." "That's all." "Your honor, I'm terribly embarrassed." "Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I'm sorry." "Unfortunately, I assumed Dr. peckham was qualified for this case." "In light of the fact that he has no background in polymer chemistry, in light of the fact that he has no background in polymer chemistry," "I'm afraid I'd be less than honest to hold him out as an expert." "I'm very sorry." "What's this guy gonna do to us next?" "Very well." "Dr. peckham, you're dismissed." "Would you care to bring one of your other experts?" "I counted on Dr. Peckham's testimony taking up the afternoon." "However, I do have a Mr. Harvey Beals present, who would like an early appearance if possible." "Beals." "He's not scheduled for two weeks." "What do we have on him?" "Nothing." "We haven't even reviewed him yet." "Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?" "Tried to leave Dr. benoit's company?" "Tried to leave Dr. benoit's company?" "Oh, yes." "She'd had enough of that fella, that's for sure." "Mr. Beals, did Dr. benoit get upset at this point?" "Yes, he did." "He said that he knew how to keep whores from lying." "I have nothing further." "Good afternoon, Mr. Beals." "It's Harvey, isn't it?" "And may I call you Harvey?" "Thank you." "Now you just happen to be the only person now you just happen to be the only person who heard that statement." "Probably." "The bar was closing, and I think I was the only person around them." "And had you been drinking, sir?" "No." "No?" "You just happened to be in a bar until closing, and you didn't have a drink?" "Come on, Harvey." "Actually, I'd just arrived." "I'm the night cleaner." "Mm-hmm." "I see." "How old are you, Mr. Beals?" "I'm 72." "And how's your hearing?" "Fine." "Ever have any problems with it?" "I'm sorry, counselor." "I didn't get that." "He asked if I had any problems with it." "No more questions, your honor." "My hearing, I presume." "...Continues throughout much of the midwest with rivers cresting near record levels in Michigan, Indiana, Illinois, Missouri, and Minnesota." "So far, 11 communities along the Mississippi river have suffered almost complete inundation have suffered almost complete inundation with dams threatening to give way in numerous others." "On the local scene, the prosecution has rested its case in the benoit murder trial." "Hi." "Uh, I'm looking for a guy named stormy weathers." "Do you know him?" "Never heard of him." "Oh." "Now, I heard that he's an ace lawyer and that he lives right here." "No." "I live here." "Barney rubble." "Nice to meet you." "What's that?" "A present." "Actually, it's sort of a good luck charm." "You bronzed my cartoon." "This is incredible." "Look at all that detail." "Jo Ann, this is great." "I love it." "Come here." "I think it puts the whole thing into perspective, don't you?" "Don't you?" "Yeah." "Well, it does sum up the way I've been handling this case." "You know what's wrong, don't you?" "What?" "Why do you think that I came here today looking for stormy weathers?" "Everybody is looking for stormy weathers." "I faked my way into a murder trial, only this time I don't have a blueprint." "Robin, you've got to look at the torkenson case objectively." "Ok." "You won because you used your imagination." "Ok." "You won because you used your imagination." "You just disguised it as stormy weathers." "You came up with the ass defense, you seiz on wilby's journal and turned it into a credibility issue, you invented the whole susie Walker defense." "You were thinking on your feet." "That's what won it for you." "You were stormy weathers." "That's quite an analysis." "I don't know if it's accurate, but it's astute." "Actually, I had some counseling." "Actually, I had some counseling." "Oh." "From who?" "Matt cowens." "You went to see cowens?" "No." "He came to see me." "I mean, he couldn't come see you." "That would be unethical." "He thought that you would find that ironic, but he meant it." "He's concerned about you." "Yeah." "He's also annoyed." "He says that benoit entrusted his life to stormy weathers, he paid for stormy weathers, and he suggests that you give him stormy weathers." "And he suggests that you give him stormy weathers." "Good grief." "He says it doesn't matter." "They're gonna kick your butt anyway." "He said that?" "He said it." "They think they can handle stormy weathers?" "Well, um, how about you?" "What's the news, good and bad?" "Started rehearsals for the revere wharf theater." "That's bad." "That's good." "That's bad." "That's good." "It's a good part." "Yeah?" "Do they have seats now?" "Yes." "Little ones." "Um, the sunshine school closes in a couple of days." "That's bad." "That's bad." "Get started on it right away." "Robin, this is a lot of work." "We can't start a new case right now." "No." "It's not a case." "It's a motion." "Get leavitt to write it." "He owes me a favor." "Listen." "I want to file it two days." "Go." "Thanks." "Mr. weathers, your first witness, please." "Uh, yes, your honor." "The defense calls." "Dr. Charles peckham to the stand." "This is the same Dr. ch" "This is the same Dr. ch" "Yes, your honor." "The very same doctor that Mr. Murray attempted to discredit earlier in the trial." "Doctor." "I remind you, doctor, you're still under oath." "Yes, your honor." "Now, doctor, Mr. Murray dismissed you as an expert because you didn't specialize in polymer chemistry, is that right?" "Yes." "Fine." "Could you kindly tell the court how much yak manure is deposited annually how much yak manure is deposited annually on the plains of rapshu?" "What?" "I object." "This is going someplace, counselor?" "Yes, your honor." "Will you try and get there in a hurry?" "Doctor?" "I don't know." "I'm not an expert in yak manure." "Fine." "Could you tell us, then, the amount of bat guano accumulated monthly by the flapped-wing Chilean fruit bat?" "I object!" "What does bat guano and yak manure have to do with this case?" "I'll tell you what it has to do with this case!" "It has as much to do with it as polymer chemistry." "Exactly nothing." "It is all a lot of crap!" "Exactly nothing." "It is all a lot of crap!" "Because, ladies and gentlemen, this case is not about polymer chemistry." "It is about murder and blood, and this gentleman here has studied blood and blood samples for the past 18 years." "He studied the victim's blood and the blood-stained jacket, and he knows damn well what those blood stains reveal!" "And as for Mr. Murray's little foray into polymer chemistry and the degradation propensity of amorphous materials, well, your honor, we all know what that was." "That was a lot of yak manure." "Order!" "Order!" "Order!" "And you concluded, lieutenant sosha, that since the murder weapon and the blood-stained clothes were found in his car, the murder must have been committed by Dr. benoit." "Well, that was strong evidence, yes." "But you didn't find any fingerprints, did you?" "No." "And does it seem strange that someone would be so careful to wipe away every single fingerprint and then leave the murder weapon in his car for someone to find?" "Well, it's a little unusual." "Unusual?" "Unusual?" "Isn't it possible that someone else put those items under the defendant's car seat?" "It's possible, but why didn't he call the police?" "No." "He knew the stuff was in the car." "It was right under him." "Isn't it possible he didn't know?" "He was sitting right over it, for Pete's sake." "So it would be ridiculous for him to have not known?" "Absolutely." "Then it would be ridiculous for someone not to know that he was sitting over a caged rabbit, someone like you, lieutenant sosha?" "Someone like you, lieutenant sosha?" "What's that, a rabbit?" "This is outrageous." "Is it?" "No telling what we'll find in Mr. Murray's trial bag." "Oh, my god." "That boy." "Well, we will assume Mr. Murray did not know this was in there." "Or did you?" "Your honor, please!" "Don't look at me." "It ain't mine." "It's a monster." "Candy mead-- I found her." "Your honor, may we have a minute, please?" "Take two, Mr. weathers." "Thank you." "Lieutenant, you're dismissed." "It's great." "He never laid a hand on her." "It was the other way around." "She says she bullied him." "He was afraid of her." "Look at this." "Look at this." "Oh, god." "That's incredible." "There's more." "He never made love to her." "He couldn't get it up." "He was Mr. limp." "I knew it." "Pure pasta." "Heh heh heh." "She says he took her to all the big functions, school events, told everybody what a stud he was, but get this." "She says she has a pimp and that her pimp beat the hell out of benoit." "Sound familiar?" "This is great." "Will she testify?" "She says she will." "Yes!" "Ha ha ha!" "This--this is too funny." "This--this is too funny." "The prosecution is depicting you as a monster who pistol whips with a hard-on." "Candy mead can defuse that." "She can make you look harmless." "Yes, but this picture is doctored." "It isn't even me." "Ha ha ha!" "Doug, that's crazy." "Now, listen" "No." "You listen to me." "You can't possibly ask this poor, little psychotic girl to recite these lies." "She can help our case." "No." "She can't help it." "She's lying." "No." "She can't help it." "She's lying." "I broke off the liaison." "It's a very sad attempt to humiliate me." "Doug, impotence is a common problem." "Robin, we got to go." "Guy should be weaving baskets somewhere." "Robin, come on." "And during the course of your 12-year friendship, did you have an opportunity to observe the behavioral patterns of Dr. Benoit?" "I did." "And are those behavioral patterns consistent with the type of behavior that Dr. benoit is being charged with today?" "They are not." "Doug benoit may be mercurial, but he doesn't have a violent bone in his body." "Anybody who's ever met him knows that." "Anybody who's ever met him knows that." "Thank you, sir." "Your witness." "No questions." "The witness may step down." "Mr. weathers." "Your honor, we are going to bring this trial to a rapid conclusion." "The defense would like to call our next witness, the victim Liza Williams!" "Objection." "I object!" "Do you, Mr. Murray?" "Well, you can object to the girl's face because she is on her way up." "Because she is on her way up." "Counselor." "The reason a body was never found is because Liza Williams never died." "She is on her way up these stairs, and in 15 seconds, Liza Williams is going to walk through those doors." "Sorry." "Traffic." "I guess I was wrong." "I guess I was wrong." "Liza Williams is not coming through that door, but every one of you looked." "You all watched that door, an if you looked, you must have thought for a split second that she just might, and if you thought for the slightest fraction that she could come through that door, then you have a reasonable doubt," "and if you have a reasonable doubt, you must find the defendant not guilty!" "Now you remember, when you go back into that room now you remember, when you go back into that room to decide my client's fate, remember to ask yourself one hard, honest question" "Did you look?" "Well, he does have a certain flair." "Well, he does have a certain flair." "This court is adjourned until tomorrow morning." "Robin!" "Robin!" "I think he did it." "He never looked at the door." "That's not good enough, Doug." "It's good enough for me." "Every person in that courtroom looked, every single person." "They couldn't help but look." "It was compelling." "It was compelling." "I've told you before." "Your thought processes are so transparent, they're laughable." "Look." "Not that it wasn't a good trick." "It was quite clever." "In fact, it's just the kind of cheap theatrics that might win it for us." "Indeed, I may not even have to testify." "Rubbish." "You n get yourself another lawyer, pal." "Robin, take it easy." "On what basis will you justify withdrawal at this point in a trial?" "Lack of disclosure." "You told me that you were innocent." "If I had known that you were guilty," "I would have chosen a different course or refused the cas or refused the cas but I am innocent." "I have never concealed anything, have I, gentlemen?" "Oh, well, speak up." "I have maintained my innocence from day one, and I still maintain it." "No one here has heard me say anything to the contrary." "Robin, he's right." "Go ahead." "Withdraw." "Gohead." "I will get a mistrial, and you, my dear sir, will get a disbarment." "I guarantee it." "You really are bloated with self-importance, aren't you?" "Don't provoke me." "Other people have provoked me." "Like Liza Williams and Luther Moses?" "I was about to say, "and lived to regret it."" "Do you seriously think that you can prod me into a confession?" "Oh, you really are amusing." "I'm sick of you, benoit." "I'm sick of seeing you prance around" "I'm sick of seeing you prance around like some ridiculous peacock." "Have you any idea what it takes to kill a human being, Mr. weathers?" "I don't mean one brute bashing" "I don't mean one brute bashing another brute's skull out of primitive passion." "I mean, the kind of measured, dispassionate action that comes from absolute clarity of mind, transcends rational thought." "Thkind of action that Springs from absolute necessity, unclouded by the restraints of conscience, mercy, pity." "The kind of action that allows one to take a common, ordinary hammer and with clinical precision split a skull so cleanly that the cranium cracks right through the medulla, allowing the claw of the hammer to be used" "to pry back the skull cleanly, exposing the brain while the subject remains alive, even aware." "Even aware." "Such a man is to be envied, revered, and much feared." "Never paralyzed by impotence of will." "Luther Moses may well have encountered such a man, and Liza Williams, and Liza Williams' mother must fear such a man." "And Liza Williams' mother must fear such a man." "Even you may encounter su a man someday." "Do not involve yourself in betrayal, Mr. weathers." "But if you imagine that I am such a man..." "Then your judgment is clouded indeed." "Then your judgment is clouded indeed." "Oh." "I merely tell you this so that you know the sort of man you're looking for." "I am a professor of English literature." "In short, a somewhat disagreeable but benign English teacher, a perceptive but innocent man." "So do let's get on with it, gentlemen." "Good day to you all." "Oh, my god." "That was quite a show." "Show?" "What are you talking about?" "He ripped her skull open." "God knows what he did to Moses, and god knows what he's gonna do to Liza's mother." "He didn't say that." "Robin, I think he wants a mistrial." "The acquittal ratio goes up dramatically in second trials." "You know that." "He knows that." "Now you have absolutely no basis whatsoever for withdrawal." "He admitted nothing." "He threatened Mrs. Williams' life." "Listen." "We're representatives of the court." "Listen." "We're representatives of the court." "We're obligated to reveal that." "It was a hypothetical statement, a veiled threat at best." "Maybe he wants to be guilty." "I mean, it happens." "All this implied violence is contradictory to his established behavior." "That's the weak link for the prosecution." "The guy hasn't shown the slightest tendency to violence." "The truth is, we don't know what the truth is, which is exactly what he wants." "Well, what are we gonna do?" "I'm going home." "This isn't fun anymore." "I'm sorry, Robin, but theories don't mean that much to me." "I just keep seeing that poor woman." "God." "You shouldn't have told me all that." "You're right." "I shouldn't have." "Yeah." "You should have." "Why can't you make him plead insanity?" "That's what he is." "I mean, anyone who can even think of such a thing." "I can't make him do anything." "I can't make him do anything." "I can either defend him or withdraw and probably be disbarred." "Then be disbarred." "I'd rather see you be disbarred than have anything to do with letting this man go." "Is that really what you want me to do?" "No." "What good will that do?" "There will only be a mistrial, and he'll probably get off anyway." "They may find him guilty." "It's still very close." "And he may be innocent." "And he may be innocent." "You believe that?" "No." "Jo Ann, Charlie's getting really hot." "Come on!" "I'm coming." "Two minutes, OK?" "I got to go." "I'll see you later?" "I don't think so." "I think I--I just got to let you do what you have to do." "I can't help, and I can't deal with that." "I can't help, and I can't deal with that." "It sounds serious." "It's not." "I mean, it's-- it's not serious for us." "I'll see you when it's all over." "Meaning you're not coming tomorrow." "No." "I don't think so." "Just promise me one thing" "That you'll try your best to let the truth come out." "I mean, that's what it's supposed to be about, isn't it?" "I mean, that's what it's supposed to be about, isn't it?" "In fairy tales." "So make this one come true." "You can do it." "You're stormy weathers." "I'll see you." "Yeah." "Here you go, Mr. weathers." "Don't do anything I wouldn't do." "Thank you, sir." "Heh heh." "Heh heh heh!" "Nyeeehhhh." "Nyeeehhhh!" "The vibrator." "Yeah." "That's right." "Ha ha ha!" "I'll tell you, Mr. weathers." "You are good." "You know, I been here nearly 20 years, you know, I been here nearly 20 years, you're the slipperiest one I ever seen." "I mean, rabbits, missing bodies, yak shit." "Ha!" "You're gonna get this guy off," "I'm telling you right now." "You got this jury snowed." "Well, I'm out of here." "I'll see you." "Oh, god." "Mr. weathers!" "You look like hell." "I'm gonna go wash up." "You turned gruel into chocolate mousse." "You should be exultant." "What's happened?" "I think I'm about to get a psychotic acquitted." "Go clean up and come to my office." "Yes, ma'am." "You're as naive as the day you walked in here." "They're almost always guilty." "But almost always convicted." "Benoit may walk." "So you've done a good job." "So you've done a good job." "You've upheld your oath." "I know." "The code of legal ethics say that I must do everything I can within the boundaries of the law to get an acquittal." "And the dilemma is?" "My sense of right and wrong say that I shouldn't." "How can the ethical thing not be moral?" "Because that's the way it is, and even stormy weathers can't do anything about that." "Would this be that easy for you?" "No." "This is about as brutal as it ever gets." "No." "This is about as brutal as it ever gets." "Actually, I had a similar situation early on in my career." "It wasn't life-involving but important, and I followed the code." "The results were somewhat tragic." "I've never forgotten it." "The wounds pile up." "The wounds pile up." "After a while, you are afraid you're nothing but scar tissue." "Well, enough homilies from aunt Roberta." "I understand he did not admit his guilt." "No." "And he did not tell you directly that he was going to harm Mrs. Williams." "No." "Well, then as far as I can see, your choices are quite simple." "Your choices are quite simple." "You do your best to get him off, or you get him to confess." "What?" "That's within your mandate." "Get him to admit his guilt." "Let the truth come out." "That's what it's all about, right?" "Right." "I still believe that." "Dr. benoit." "Mr. weathers, we're not going to take chisels to one another again, are we?" "It's getting wearisome." "No, we're not." "We have to decide whether or not you're going to testify." "I will decide whether or not I testify." "Do we have it won?" "You know better than that." "You never know what a jury's gonna do." "You never know what a jury's gonna do." "It could go either way." "You're going to get me if you can, aren't you?" "Or maybe I shouldn't testify." "I don't think you should." "You won't be a good witness." "I'll be as good as I need to be." "Is that your decision?" "Yes." "Yes." "I think so." "All right, but I must warn you all right, but I must warn you that Murray is brilliant, truly." "The emphasis, for my benefit, on "truly"?" "You're pushing the right buttons now, Mr. weathers." "Congratulations." "But I am brilliant, too, or hadn't I told you?" "Do you swear to tell the truth," "Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?" "I do." "Be seated." "Would you please state your name for the record?" "My name is Douglas benoit." "And your occupation." "I am a professor of English literature at Boston university." "And how long have you been so employed?" "14 years." "Are you married, Dr. benoit?" "Yes." "I have been married for 19 years." "Yes." "I have been married for 19 years." "That is my wife sitting right over there, and I thank god that through all this she still loves me." "Your marriage is important to you, then?" "It is the most important thing in my life." "Sir, did you have an affair with Liza Williams?" "Yes." "I am ashamed to admit that I did." "I am a vain man, Mr. weathers." "I am a vain man, Mr. weathers." "I have trouble in resisting the attention of women, but despite the contradiction," "I love my wife." "I always have." "Dr. benoit, where were you on the night of November 12?" "I was at my home." "With your wife?" "No." "She was away visiting her sister." "You are aware, sir, are you not, that this was the night of Liza Williams' disappearance?" "Yes, I am." "Yes, I am." "And do you have any information pertaining to the disappearance of Liza Williams?" "I swear I don't." "I saw her the evening she disappeared, but I have never seen her again since then." "You are also aware that the murder weapon was found in your car?" "I have no idea how it got there." "Someone had to have put it there, someone who wanted the girl's death linked to me." "Someone who wanted the girl's death linked to me." "Obviously, he or she did an excellent job." "Sir, did you kill Liza Williams?" "No, I did not." "I know that I was at home alone." "I have no alibis or anything, but if you didn't do anything, then you don't need an alibi." "I am innocent." "All I have is my word, all I have is my word, but I am innocent." "Thank you, Dr. benoit." "Thank you." "Your witness." "Your honor, one moment, please." "Bring that book to Jo Ann." "Bring that book to Jo Ann." "Mr. Murray?" "Dr. benoit," "I take it by your testimony you're a man with a rather heavy libido." "Objection." "He testified as to his sexual encounters with Liza Williams." "His sex drive or lack of it have nothing to do with this case." "I want to know why the defendant spent time with the victim." "I'll allow it." "Doctor?" "I do not deny having had sexual relations with the girl." "Nor do I deny other indiscretions which similarly bear upon my sense of fidelity." "But I did not murder anybody." "I could not even imagine that kind of violence." "I see." "And during the course of your marriage, sir, how many other women have you slept with?" "Objection!" "Sustained." "He unwilling to defend is honor is not a man." "He unwilling to defend is honor is not a man." "Henry David Thoreau said that." "Yabba-dabba-doo." "Frederick flintstone said that." "So what?" "Ask questions, Mr. Murray." "A man should defend his honor, shouldn't he, Dr. benoit?" "Yes, I think he should." "And..." "If you were wronged, sir, would you passively accept it?" "I would like to think not." "And in fact, when Luther Moses wronged you, you didn't lie down for that, did you?" "Objection." "Objection." "You physically attacked him, didn't you?" "Objection." "Prior acts are inadmissible." "Sustained." "Sorry." "He's badgering him." "That's what benoit wants." "He's blowing it." "Liza Williams wronged you, didn't she?" "I suppose." "You suppose?" "She blackmailed you, exploited you, taunted you." "What's he doing?" "He's making benoit look sympathetic, damn it." "Can you identify this?" "It's the hammer that was found in my car." "Ever see it before this trial?" "Ever see it before this trial?" "No." "Ever hold it comfortably in your hand the way you're holding it right now?" "Objection!" "This is outrageous!" "He's put the hammer in his hands to facilitate the picture for the jury, and when he asks them later to close their eyes and imagine it, they'll be better able to imagine it, your honor, because" "Save your speech!" "You made your objection!" "My objection is just beginning!" "Sidebar" "No, your honor, on the record." "This man has committed gross misconduct to get me to move for a mistrial because he knows he can't win!" "What in god's name" "He has introduced evidence that he knows to be false!" "He knows" "Counselor, this is a serious charge." "He knows my client is not a violent man!" "The state psychiatrist told him." "He called the defendant "timid, submissive."" "He knows my client did not attack Luther Moses." "He knows my client did not attack Luther Moses." "You have two eyewitnesses who saw him cower from the confrontation!" "I did not cower!" "He tells the jury how comfortable the hammer looks in his hands." "But does he tell them about the trace of vomit on it?" "Does he mention that when the police first showed the blood-stained hammer to the defendant, he became so queasy that he threw up?" "Your honor, he's testifying!" "You testified, too, and you lied!" "I move for" "Mr. weathers." "...false implications!" "This is a last-minute grope to depict my client as a violent womanizer when he knows that just the opposite is true!" "Don't presume what I know!" "It is in your own files!" "Attack Luther Moses?" "He begged him for mercy." "He crawled away like a frightened puppy, and you know it!" "He crawled away like a frightened puppy, and you know it!" "Mr. weathers?" "Heavy libido?" "Ha!" "You have a signed statement saying that he was sexually inadequate!" "You want to hear about his sex drive?" "Let's ask his wife!" "Mr. weathers." "They tried to save their marriage by having a child, but he couldn't come through!" "This is a man who is a sex-driven killer?" "Mr. weathers." "Look at the adjectives used to describe him in your own files." "That is enough." "A scared man, a weak man." "Mr. weathers, you are in contempt." "Afraid..." "Impotent!" "Mr. weathers!" "Mr. weathers!" "Impotent!" "Mr. weathers!" "Shut up!" "Impotent!" "Doctor." "Dr. benoit?" "Dr. benoit, you may step down now." "What's he done?" "My god, he's gotten him to confess." "My god, he's gotten him to confess." "Doctor." "May have gotten himself a disbarment." "We can continue at a later date." "Possibly." "Dr. benoit?" "Playyy ball!" "Obviously, we cannot proceed." "Mr. Murray and Mr. weathers, in my chambers, please." "Your honor?" "The prosecution has no further questions." "There are times when one wishes one had the wisdom of Solomon." "Mr. weathers?" "Your honor..." "In light of what we have seen in this courtroom today, in light of what we have seen in this courtroom today," "I move that these proceedings be declared a mistrial and the attorneys for Dr. benoit be allowed to prepare an appropriate defense." "Lacking the wisdom of Solomon," "I must rely upon my own judgment." "The question of guilt or innocence has not been impeached by Dr. benoit's outburst." "The question of his state of mind can be addressed by an appeal." "This trial will continue." "Exception." "Noted." "Noted." "Do you wish a recess at this time?" "Mr. weathers?" "The defense rests." "I note for the record that Dr. benoit has waived his rights to be present at the reading of the verdict." "Madam foreman, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, hearken now to your verdict." "Hearken now to your verdict." ""We, the jury, find the defendant, Douglas benoit, guilty of murder in the first degree."" "So say you all?" "Aye." "So be it." "Sentencing will take place two weeks from today." "Mr. weathers, I shudder to think of the implications of what has happened in this courtroom, though I must confess" "I am not entirely without sympathy for your actions." "Nonetheless, for your contempt, nonetheless, for your contempt," "I order you to serve 10 days in the county detention, commencement of sentence to be delayed pending appeal." "This jury is dismissed." "This court is adjourned." "All rise." "What would you have done?" "I would have gotten him off." "You'd really have let that man walk the street?" "You'd really have let that man walk the street?" "I'm a lawyer!" "Robin, you did the right thing." "Anything else would have been wrong." "I hope so." "I wouldn't want you as my lawyer, you understand." "Ha ha ha!" "Hmm." "Why are you crying?" "I don't have the slightest idea." "We're suing the president of the United States." "Well, it's a class action on behalf of brigitte and all the kids at the sunshine school." "They got rights." "But the president..." "But the president..." "And the U.S. congress." "I don't mess around." "I'm gonna cry." "You are crying." "No, I'm not." "Look." "You said you needed a good lawyer." "Well, you got an ex-hotshot criminal attorney, fresh out of the limelight." "Robin..." "Yeah, I know." "I'm a hell of a guy."