"Previously on "Chasing Life"..." " I think you should take it." " You'd really be cool" " with me leaving for that long?" " I took the job." "So you wanna take a break?" "I just don't want us to start resenting each other, you know?" "Boyfriend, girlfriend..." "should we make it official?" "Or not?" "I don't think that I'm ready for that yet." "I was driving." "You cannot keep carrying that weight around." "It'll crush you." "I'm not getting the surgery to try and remove the tumor." "So "Mr. you gotta live" is just giving up?" "Do you really think I would do well as a brain-dead hospital patient?" "What you're doing is quitting." "I'm gonna fight." "I was supposed to start chemo today, but I saw a fertility doctor instead." "So tell me more about the trip to Florida." "What's the Eco Club like?" "Kinda what you'd expect." "Littering bad, recycling good, global warming's gonna kill us all." "A couple of weeks ago Pearl said she thought global warming was a conspiracy." "Never came so close to punching someone over 80." "Well, I'm glad you've joined a club at school." "I guess we have your new friend to thank for that." "When are we gonna finally meet Greer, anyway?" "Hey, would she like to join us for dinner tonight?" "Uh, maybe." "Don't get me wrong, I love your other friends, too." "By other friends you mean Ford." "Who is lovely, it's just... it just seems like this girl is giving you a whole new perspective." "Like, really encouraging you to try new things." "Hey, you're just in time." "How would you like your eggs?" "Uh, frozen, perhaps?" "Mom!" "Uh, actually, they said I shouldn't eat till after the procedure, 'cause of the anesthesia." "Are you nervous about your "eggs-traction" today?" "Brenna..." "Mom, it's fine." "We've gotta have some fun with this." "I only have two days until I start chemo." "So I wanna just try and live normally." "Granted, getting my eggs harvested at 8:00 am is a little weird." "But other than that, I, um..." "I want to spend these last 48 hours just being me." "Not cancer me, just regular me, okay?" "Okay, I think we can all handle that." "Just... try looking on the sunny side of all this." "Hey, what do you think about having a little party tomorrow night?" "Your last night before chemo, could be nice to be around family and friends." "I'd take care of everything." "That sounds good." "Let's do it." "Why haven't they called me yet?" "I wish you'd started your sick leave now, instead of working up until the second you're going to the hospital." "That's just because the governor's debate is tonight and I have to cover it, assuming they ever get these eggs out of me." "Your eggs clearly take after you." "Here comes the labor story." "I was nine days past my due date," "Dr. Levin was pressuring me to induce." "And then right there, in his office," " my water broke." " Your water broke." "I loved being pregnant with you." "I wasn't even anxious for that part to be over with... knowing that you were with me every minute, and I could protect you." "You're gonna be an amazing grandma." "Someday, just give me a couple more years." "At least five." "April Carver?" "S01E09 What to Expect When You're Expecting Chemo" "There was crazy turbulence on the flight back." "There were even a couple of people crying." "Sounds like the trip was a disaster all around." "Well, this will cheer you up." "I got us tickets to this awesome concert next week." "It's these guys who do all the instrument sounds with their mouths... and before you say," ""hostage situation," I've seen them, and they're actually rad." "I don't know, April's going to be in the hospital then." "Oh, man." "April's cancer is really getting in the way of our social life." "Sorry, that was... that was a really stupid thing to say." "It's fine." "Let me make it up to you." "Can I take you out tonight?" "I was gonna hang out with Greer." "Who you just saw all day in school and went to Florida with." "Is something up with us?" "You didn't text me at all while you were gone." "Okay, listen..." "And when someone starts with listen, it's 'cause they know you don't want to hear what they're about to say." "What don't I want to hear?" "Are you dumping me?" "No!" "No, I really like you." "Good, I really like you, too." "But I want to be totally honest with you." "I'm sort of... having feelings for someone else, too." "Uh, who is he?" "Actually, it's..." "Greer." "Uh... girl Greer?" "So wait, are you with me as like a cover?" "'Cause you don't want to be a full-on lesbian?" "No." "No, I don't know what I am." "And I'm not even into labels, anyway." "You know that, and so does Greer." "Have you like..." "Have you done stuff with her?" " Kieran..." " Have you gone further with her than me?" "No, and it's not like a contest." "I really like you both." "I know that sounds weird, but is there any world that you would be cool with me dating both of you?" "I mean..." "Yeah, I can try." "If I can watch sometime." "Shut up." "You can always stay home." "I mean, you've had anesthesia." "You might feel nauseated for a couple of hours." "I don't want to stay home." "I want to go to the debate." "Is it really about the debate?" "Or is it about seeing Leo?" "I mean, can't it be both?" "It's weird." "He hasn't shown up to the support group and he's been ignoring my texts." " We haven't talked once since..." " You hooked up." "Oh, which I still feel terrible about." "I can't stop thinking about Dominic." "My God, stop it." "You guys are on a break." "Yeah, and it only took me 48 hours to hook up with someone else." "Kind of a cliche, by the way." "You know, having sex after a funeral." "Even a fake one." "You're okay?" "Do you need this?" "No, I'll be fine." "This just sucks, it's like I have morning sickness without even being pregnant." "It's not exactly the best shape to be in to see Leo." "I have to get this thing with him resolved before I go into a chemo prison for a month." "Why don't you just let me come with you?" "Pretend I'm your assistant, and your assistant's job is to carry a barf bag." " That would make me a pretty crappy boss." " I've had worse." "She's with me." "And there he is." "You're good." "You're good." "Maybe he didn't see you." "He saw me." "Hey, look, I'm going to go and get you a water, okay?" "No." "No, I'm okay." "Go in and watch the debate." "I have to check in and get to work." "I thought the whole point was me staying with you." "I know, but it's gonna look weird if you come in with me, like something's wrong." "Something is wrong." "Please, just go." "I'll find you after." "And I play second singles." "Kaitlin, who plays first singles, she's graduating." "So I'm hoping to get bumped up next year." "You know who's not bad at tennis..." "I learned that the hard way." "Mom, aren't you staying for dinner?" "We ordered Chinese." "I've got a little shopping to do with Gertie, for April's party." "No, I can do that or I can drive you." "I've got it, I've got it." "That was weird." "I'd say that was her regular weird." "So, Greer..." "Class president, tennis captain, Eco Club president, how do you manage everything?" "I have a twin." "And a sense of humor." "I like this one, Brenna." "I think that's the food." "Mom, can I have your card?" "I can cover it." "My parents left me money for meals when they're out of town." "No, you are not paying for food in my house." "But thank you for offering." "Here you go." "How long are your parents gone for?" "About three quarters of my life so far." "Aw..." "But just a couple days this time." "Well, you know you're welcome to spend the night here if you want." "Thanks." "Hola." "What are you doing here?" "The same thing I'm doing here every other time I come over..." "I'm raiding your fridge and watching bad TV with you." "Is that cool?" "Uh, yeah." "Greer's here." "Is there an emergency eco club meeting?" "Are the dolphins okay?" "No, we're just hanging out." "Okay, um..." "I don't want to interrupt." "No, you're not." "Come in." "My Uncle's coming over, we just ordered Chinese." "And you should hang out with Greer," "I think you guys might actually like each other." "Ladies and gentlemen, can I have your attention, please?" "You're here." "I said I would be." "You weren't in the office today." "I thought maybe you started your leave of absence early." "Nope." "What's wrong with you again?" "Nothing you need to worry about." "Oh, I wasn't gonna worry." "I understand that you debated in college like your father." "Yes, I did." "As my mom can attest," "Bruce and I had a few pretty intense, verbal jousting matches." "Thanksgiving 2011 comes to mind, turkey feathers flew." "What was the topic of debate?" "You know, I don't think that the..." " Excuse me?" " Leo..." "Oh, no." "April." "Excuse me." "Can you move back, please?" " Excuse me." " Beth!" "Oh, my God, April!" "I heard this commotion and I thought something happened to you." "No, no, I'm fine, it's Leo." "He had like, a stroke or something." "I don't know what it was, but I need to..." "Please, everybody." "Everything is fine." "Stand back." "Give them room." " Mom, I'm fine." " No, you're not." "We are taking you to the hospital now." "Bruce..." "We can't leave before the debate." "Listen..." "Don't let him leave." "No, look... please, I don't need..." "I can walk on my own, all right." "I'd say it's probably one of the most beautiful countries" "I've ever been to." "Well, I don't meet very many people who have been to Nicaragua." "You two probably actually have a lot of overlap." "You won't meet many people more well-traveled than George." " Did you zip-line while you were there?" " Oh, no, no, no." "But did you hike Mombacho Volcano?" "My dad and I did." "Well, Brenna's dad and I did." "We're doing Guatemala in August." "Maybe you can come with us, bren." "Brenna and I don't really do places where the main tourist attraction is poor people." "I don't know, I..." "I think there's a lot more to it than that." "I think it would be cool to see such a different culture." "Well, look at that." "Maybe Brenna's got the carver wanderlust." "Oh, God help me." "I'm gonna clean up." "Thank you, Ford." " I can help, too." " I got it." "I know where everything goes." "As someone who knows firsthand the value of a public school education." "I will make it my priority when I am elected governor." "Mr. Hendrie, two minutes." "Thank you." "My opponent didn't use the word elitist in describing me, although it was clearly implied." "And to that I say, I strongly believe that all children... all children..." "I'm sorry." "There's only one child that matters to me now." "And I need to be there for him, right now." "I'm sorry." "You can't hide from me forever, Sanya." "We're gonna have to talk at some point." "Were you and Leo Hendrie close?" "No." "I've met Leo, but..." "That's not why I'm upset." "My best friend is sick, too." "Thank you." "It's leukemia." "And you know, before she got sick, when I'd see her name on caller ID, I'd be excited." "You know, I'd be like what bar are we hitting?" "Or what happened with that guy that she was crushing on?" "And now I see it, and..." "I'm..." "I just think like, oh, God, what's wrong now?" "You know?" "I'm just..." "I'm scared all of the time." "And of course, I mean, I can't tell her any of that." "'Cause I just..." "I just want her to get better." "And she's supposed to start chemo this week." "I don't know what I'd do if I lost her." "I'm..." "I'm sorry." "But, you know, whoever wrote that book" ""be your own best friend,"" "they had a point." "April, hey!" "Hey." "He's not answering." "About time..." "Oh, you're not the radiologist." "How are you feeling?" "Popular." "A video of my little gibberish episode is trending on Twitter, hashtag death's doorstep." "So that's a lot of fun." "Leo..." "Please have the surgery." "And here we go." "I'm sorry, but your whole argument about how life is better without it, how is that true after tonight?" "It doesn't hold up." "How is this your business?" "Because I'm your friend and we slept together." "Oh, so because we hooked up, you get a vote?" "I made this decision long before you." "And I'm sorry, but honestly, I don't need you in my life if you're on a mission to make me rethink that." "Fine." "But if you're not gonna have the operation, then this is it." "I can't see you again." "Because I'm about to go fight for my life, and I can't be around someone who has a chance to do that and won't even try." "And yet, who's chasing who right now?" "Goodbye, Leo." "Have a nice life." "And I'll have a nice death." "Wow, look who's fashionly early." "I was visiting a friend." "Well, while I have you, can I give you a preview of where you'll be spending the next month?" "You got a minute?" "Sure." "You A.M.L. folks really get the short end of the stick when it comes to chemo... having to be stuck here for so long." "But on the bright side, the more we can monitor you, the more we can protect you." "Have you started to pack?" "Not yet." "I have patients showing up with two or three trunks worth." "I mean, of course we have our standard issue ugly-ass hospital gowns, but I'm sure you'll feel more like yourself in your own PJ's." "Maybe some decorations, something to make the room more personal." "And you might want to think about this, some of the patients like to shave their heads beforehand." "Just to beat the chemo to the punch." "Here we are." "If it's not this room, it'll be one just like it." "All of our accommodations are equally luxurious." "One month, huh?" "Girls, I just wanted to say goodnight..." "Yeah, come in." "Greer..." "Um, maybe you should sleep downstairs on the couch." "Okay." "There's a throw down there, a blue, um..." "I think it should be warm enough, it's like a wool blend." " You're not allergic, are you?" " No." "Goodnight, Dr. Carver." " Night." " Night, Bren." "I want to choose my words carefully..." "Please... don't make this a thing." "I won't, but we should talk about this." "So..." "Have you always had feelings for girls?" "I don't know." "I never have before." "And does this mean that you've split up with Kieran?" "No." "Oh, so you're seeing them both?" "Honey, just remember hearts are tender at your age, at any age really." "They bruise easily." "Hmm... okay." "Mom, you okay?" "You have a weird look on your face." "It's just..." "There's a..." "Another time." "How was your night?" "Oh, another time." "I have like fifty thousand things to do to get ready for the hospital." "I just hope work tomorrow is uneventful." "I would hate for a big story to break on my last day." "Morning, Mal." "How's it going?" "Here." "You go ahead." " You sure?" " Yeah." "Yeah, you go ahead of all of us." "Uh... thanks." "Hey, April." "I'm covering the political ramifications of Hendrie dropping out, you do the... touchy-feely bit for section "b," the family stuff." "Hopefully you can finish before your vacation." "I really wish I had had more notice about you taking off, I could have started training someone." "Not that what you've been doing is rocket science." "Raquel, you know I'm sick, right?" "I mean, that..." "I have cancer." "Yeah." "Hey, I thought I might steal you for lunch." "They know." "They know what?" "Everyone here knows about me." "You think it was Danny, and he's just not telling me?" "I mean, he's always like going through my desk." "But I didn't leave anything in my desk or on my computer." "Oh, maybe someone knows someone at the pediatric hospital." "Or someone..." "Okay, stop." "I have to tell you something." "What?" "I know how they found out." "So, you remember at the debate when I thought that you were the one that collapsed, and I was freaking out?" "Yeah." "Well, I went to the bathroom and I had like a panic attack." " I'm sorry." " No, I'm sorry, because..." "See, there was this girl in the bathroom and I kind of cried on her shoulder, and I told her that my friend was sick." "And I really thought that she was just some random stranger," " but it turns out..." " Who was it?" "I don't know her name but I just saw her in your office." "Long, brown hair, kind of exotic looking in an ambiguous way, like me." "Raquel!" "Oh, God, that was Raquel?" "How could you do that?" "I didn't know who she was." "So what, you just decided to tell a random stranger in a bathroom about me?" "At a work event for me?" "You thought that was a smart idea?" "This was my last day, Beth." "I had one more day." "One more day and I was just gonna go away, handle this in private, and come back to work in a month..." "What, you didn't think that people were gonna find out?" "You didn't think people were gonna ask questions about your medical leave?" "Come on, April, you work with reporters." "Who all see me differently now, thank you." "Is that the worst thing in the world?" "This was my business, okay?" "It was up to me if I told people, and you just took that away from me." "April, I'm sorry." "What can I do to make this okay?" "Nothing, it's done." "April, please..." "Anything... just tell me what to do," "I want to fix this." "You know what, Beth?" "I can't worry about what you need right now." "Danny..." "Oh, look, Raquel's doing her midday office stretches." "I'm on a deadline." "Yeah, so am I." " Hey." " Hey." "The fact that you just started a conversation with me, makes me feel like there's hope for the middle east." "Yeah, totally." "So... how did you turn Brenna?" "You know that's not how gay works, right?" "But I guess she told you we're seeing each other, huh?" "And I'm really glad it's out there." "And I just want you to know, that I totally respect your friendship with Brenna and I'd never want you to feel like the third wheel." "Actually, I have this great guy I want to set you up with, his name's P.J. He's really cute, for a boy." "Um... yeah, cool, maybe." "Are you coming to Brenna's tonight, for April's party?" "So you're invited to everything now?" "I mean, we're dating, that's kind of how it works." "Look, Ford, we can be friends," "I know we can." "Even if it kills us." "It might." "Is that your stapler, or are you stealing our office supplies?" "It's mine." "Just checking." "You know, Raquel, you're the only person here who knows I have cancer and didn't treat me any differently." "I mean, you treated me badly, but still..." "At least it was normal." "That's what I'd want people to do if I was sick." "Way to make my cancer about you." "Watch, you're gonna get a book deal out of this." "And every time someone has cancer and writes a book about it, it's like a bestseller." "I'm not saying you're lucky, per se." "What are those little, pink blobs?" "They're hearts." " Don't they look like hearts?" " Nah, kidneys." "Oh, no, don't... kidn..." "Beth, help me." " What's up?" " I'm not doing this right." "I've got too much stuff." "These are so cheesy, she's gonna love it." "I feel like I'm in kindergarten." "I'll get it." " Hi." " Hey." "I wanted to drop something off for your sister," "I felt bad after I made that stupid joke." "I know it's kind of lame, but..." "No, it's great." "She'll love it." "Looks like you got something going on." "I didn't think you would want to come," "Greer's here." "Her parents are out of town, so she's been staying over." "I don't mind seeing Greer, if you don't mind me seeing her." "Oh, that's cute." "Great." " George, George." " What?" "Oh, no, please." "Okay." "Oh, that's good." "Oh, April!" "There she is." "Oh, thanks, you guys." "Sweetheart, I know you think you have a lot to do tonight to get ready for tomorrow, but you would be wrong." "Allow me to direct your attention to exhibit a, hospital wardrobe, custom made by Beth and her minions." " That would be us." " Oo-oh..." "And my goal was to make you the hottest girl in the cancer ward." "Germfree, nonperishable flowers to make your room pretty." "And a photo album of all of us to keep in your room." " What is that?" " And Brenna..." "I packed your bag." "I put boggle in it, some fuzzy slippers, and..." "For annoying nurses." "Thank you, guys." "See, you're all set." "Now all you have to worry about tonight is having fun." "Is that..." "is that what you were doing here?" "This weird for you?" "I said I was cool with this, but I don't know, maybe I'm not." "Come with me." "Can I just say one more time, I am so, so sorry about..." "No, no, no, I'm sorry." "I think you did me a favor." "You don't have to say that." "No, I'm not just saying it." "This is happening to me whether I like it or not." "And being sick, I'm starting to realize, let's me see things in a way that most people can't." "That's what I ended up writing my article about, how this is kind of, weirdly, a gift." "A gift I would totally return for a full refund in two seconds if I could, but I can't." "So, I gotta own it." "Attagirl." "I just wish I could get a hold of Dominic." "I've been trying to call him all day," "I don't want somebody from the paper to tell him, or for him to like read about it first." "Hey, there's one more thing I want to do for you tonight." "Come on." "What the hell?" "!" "What?" "I thought we weren't exclusive." "Yeah, what do you need him for?" "Or me?" "You have Greer, she's your lover and your new best friend all rolled into one." "I'm not like replacing you with Greer." "Whatever, you didn't even tell me you guys were hooking up." "I had to friggin' guess." "I didn't know how you would react." "Yeah, well, if you want to be all, "hey, look at me, I'm bi," awesome." "But dude, she's so lame and you know it." "Oh, and hooking up with other people's boyfriends," " that's not lame?" " Boyfriend?" "Isn't that a label?" "She doesn't know what she wants, clearly." "You know, I don't need this from someone who's supposed to be my best friend." "Maybe I'm not so into that label anymore." "I thought I can deal with this, I'm sorry." "I just..." "I can't." "I don't want to be one of the people that you're seeing, I want to be the person." "And maybe she's cool with you dating a bunch of people at once, you know." "But..." "What's going on here?" "You're just in time, Brenna was about to tell me which one of us she wants to be with." "Greer's never asked me to pick." "I mean, I really like you, but I don't think I can keep doing this unless it's for real." "I'm sorry." "Three, two, one." "Oh, my God." "See?" "What'd I tell you," "I knew you'd still be gorgeous bald." "Wow." "Look at that." "How..." "I mean, it's not... horrible, right?" "Right." "Now you know." "See, we're gonna get you through this." " Goodnight." " No, no, hang on." " What?" " My gift for you." "And I added a little extra something to help you with the nausea." "Did you make me pot brownies?" "Um, I plead the fifth." "But where did you get the..." "Gertie and I hit the streets of somerville." "It only took us about an hour to score." "No, I'm kidding, she has a prescription... glaucoma." "I love you." "Hey, it's Dominic." "Leave a message." "Hey, Dominic, it's me." "Um..." "Listen, there's gonna be a story in the paper tomorrow, that I wrote..." "And I didn't want you to find out like this, but every time I tried to tell you we just kept missing each other." "And it just kind of happened that it's in there, what I wanted to tell you." "That was like the longest sentence ever." "Listen, just read it and call me." "Just call me back, okay?" "Hey, do you need any help?" " Uh, I'm good." " Yeah?" "You know what I was thinking about?" "That house-warming party that you and Thomas had, where you conned everybody into painting and wallpapering." "Remember that?" "The Brookline place, I loved that little house." "We didn't con anybody." "They were our friends, they wanted to help." "You spiked the lemonade." "Never been proven." "How about when you climbed onto that step ladder and you were singing that Joni Mitchell song, what was it?" "You hit some crazy notes." "Yeah, well, there's the proof." "Oh, my gosh, to be that young again." "Even for five minutes, especially now." "You know, I can't even remember the last time" "I did something that dumb and impulsive." "I..." "I should get going." "You know, 'cause I have to..." "I gotta check in with Hamburg" " and make sure..." " Right, okay." " ...everything's set for tomorrow." " Sure." "All right." " All right." " Have a nice night." "Yeah." "As I watched Bruce Hendrie at the debate the other night," "I didn't see a wealthy business man or a candidate seeking office standing before me." "I saw a father." "And I recognized that look in his eyes, that terrible fear." "Because I've seen that same fear in my own mother's eyes, and my grandma's eyes, and my baby sister's eyes because I have cancer, too." "And let me tell you, it's a bitch." "And it's an equal opportunity offender." "No amount of money in the world, no amount of privilege, can make you exempt." "Look at Leo Hendrie." "And when it chooses you, you're suddenly thrust into a club that you didn't ask to join." "You're shipped off to war even though you never enlisted in the army." "But you have to put on your armor anyway, and know that if you're lucky, you'll discover new sides of yourself." "Like a will you never knew you had." "And you'll get to see new sides of the people who matter the most to you in the world, as they wrap you in their love and lend you their strength when yours is running low." "And then you go off and you fight." "You fight like hell." "Because really... what other choice you have?"