"you little shit?" "You're a drunk piece a shit!" "You're both drunk pieces a shit!" "273)}– Both of you sit the fucking down!" "– Shit him!" "They're noisy." "bitch!" "– You son a bitch!" "They're nasty." "skank!" "They're white trash." "they can't help getting arrested!" "on an all new..." "White Trash in Trouble." "Pabst Blue Ribbon and white trash." "It's a deadly combination that can lead to prison time and children being taken away from their homes." "This white trash home in Colorado seems innocent enough." "What the fuck?" "But the children in this home live in a world of neglect." "no groceries." "you can even make out what appears to be a meth lab." "273)}– Down on the ground!" "– Let's move!" "Get down now!" "My babies!" "Don't take my babies!" "273)}– You're hurting my arm." "– My babies!" "You're hurting me!" "You have the right to remain silent." "and I'm in trouble." "and I'm in trouble." "Good." "Get in the car." "Poor people being arrested." "What a rare occurrence!" "wave!" "Kenny sent to a foster home." "Pretty funny." "kids." "kids. but I guess the kids will be taken away for good." "Child protective services will talk to them in the soft room." "The soft room?" "The room we have set aside for kids to feel safe in." "how are you doing?" "and I need to get some info from you." "That sound OK?" "Can I see my mommy?" "sorry." "I've been looking over your file." "I see you've been horribly physically and emotionally abused." "it's the Penn State University Gazette!" "That's just a joke." "We like to have fun here." "It's the Penn State Gazette!" like a joke. so I need to know would you like to go a catholic church or Penn State University?" "We're having fun." "I come up with these and the guys." "It's good to laugh." "a church or Penn State." "I'm a trickster." "People say I'm meant for comedy." "right?" "Are we all starting to feel better?" "how about that smile?" "I'm gonna get you to smile!" "I'm gonna get you to smile!" "A Penn State administrator walks into a bar..." "Where's that smile?" "How about this?" "Joe Paterno doesn't walk into a police station... that's a good one." "273)}– Did you hear anything more?" "– I don't think Kenny's coming back." "My dad said those child protective services are serious." "We can't let Kenny be sent away." "There's gotta be something we can do." "and I have some answers." "Really? the poor kid is Craig." "That's what you care about?" "273)}– Who's the poorest kid in school?" "– Went through everybody." "Craig's got the most..." "Here he comes." "Your family get you that jacket at Walmart or Kmart?" "it's cool. she can't even pay attention." "we have the new foster kids." "enter." "Welcome to your new home." "let's get one thing clear." "religious household." "you will be agnostic." "These are your foster brothers and sisters." "They are all strict agnostics." "do you believe in God?" "273)}– I don't know." "– Right!" "boys and girls' room." "Your chores are listed on the doors." "Follow." "You will eat only at designated meal times." "you may take from the refrigerator as you like." "you will drink only agnostic beverages." "Dr Pepper and Diet Dr Pepper." "Because what flavor is it?" "It is neither root beer nor cola." "and nobody can be sure." "Isn't that right?" "273)}– I don't know." "– Good!" "This is awesome!" "You think you got something? I was able to see which kids got those coupons they hand out for school lunch." "Then I cross-referenced the kids who were on half price lunches with the tax records of people in town to see which kid's parents made the least money last year." "it's you." "your household has the lowest income." "pal." "my God!" "It's only a matter of time before everybody finds this out." "I won't tell anybody." "We're not the only ones to want to look into this!" "You think Kyle isn't on a computer trying to see who the poorest kid is?" "that heartless Jew!" "I won't give him the satisfaction." "isn't he?" "With all his jokes about Cartman being poor." "You hear how poor Cartman's mom is?" "His mama's so poor the ducks throw bread at her!" "everyone! she has to lick other people's fingers." "Kyel!" "My name is not "Kyel." "Kyel!" "Must be nice having everything you want!" "sweetie." "Sit down." "We need to have a talk." "this time?" "How are you going to start bringing more money?" "hon?" "You have to start doing more." "What are you doing with your time?" "I'm working two jobs." "Mommy's doing everything she can." "I'm now the poorest kid in school." "We're in a tough economy." "What do you want me to do about it?" "We're in a tough economy." "What do I want you to do about it?" "Life isn't handed to you!" "You can't just sit on your ass and expect for money to appear!" "We aren't that much poorer than most people." "Not much... you thought the food stamps ran out!" "It's not funny!" "My mama's so poor she waves around a Popsicle and calls it air conditioning." "I wish I could be put in a cool foster home like Kenny's family." "268)}" "It's you." "I was wondering when you'd appear." "You always come when I'm sad." "Karen." "You have to keep believing that." "Why did my mommy and daddy go to jail?" "people do stupid things. until it's too late." "273)}– But I'm all alone now." "– You are not alone." "I will always be here." "Do you understand?" "guardian angel." "do." "Karen?" "Policeman." "Thanks for the tip." "We'll check it out." "Better call the lieutenant." "We got another meth lab in town." "Got any needles on you?" "Any crack pipes?" "no!" "I haven't used drugs in quite a while." "Then why is there a meth lab in your backyard?" "what have you done?" "Were things so bad financially you had to turn to a life of crime?" "My mama's so poor she uses Cheerios for earrings." "then." "Hawaii is my first choice." "but maybe just a short walk away." "It's gonna take me years to recover from being torn from my mom's arms." "Only the ocean breezes and coconut trees can help me." "When will you people learn to lay off the Pabst Blue Ribbon?" "and I'm in trouble." "and I'm in trouble." "How you doing?" "and I'm with child protective services." "My head shot." "I just need to get some information from you if that's OK." "273)}– Your mom was operating a meth lab." "– That's right." "And it also says here that Penn State prefers to be losing at halftime." "They like when you're a little behind in the locker room." "That's a joke." "It's a play on words." "We like to have fun here." "273)}– Do you think this is funny?" "– We just like to have fun here." "I'll tell you." "Being from a low-income household isn't funny." "My mama's so poor she opened a Gmail account just so she could eat the spam!" "Is that supposed to be a joke?" "You think you're funny?" "A joke?" "You think being poor is a joke?" "273)}– Could be worse." "– How?" "Could be in Happy Valley." "How old should you be to stay away from Penn State? so she gotta go Greyhound off the handle." "Two Penn State administrators walk into a butt..." "This is a long drive!" "Are we in Hawaii yet?" "273)}– Hawaii?" "– That's where I requested to be sent." "You're foster home is here." "Pretty much the exact opposite of Hawaii." "Greeley?" "This is not the way we've told you tidy up!" "cleanliness is next to godliness." "but not too much." "more ambiguous on the dusting!" "answer the door." "What the..." "This is poorer than my old house!" "What the fuck are you doing here?" "Your room is upstairs on the left." "Are you hungry?" "273)}– You're my new mom?" "– You can call me "Mom" if you like." "how much do you make?" "Like gross yearly income after taxes?" "This is where you'll sleep with your foster brothers. you will follow the agnostic code." "We can't know if God or Christ exists." "They could." "There could be a giant reptilian bird in charge of everything." "Can we be certain?" "It's pointless to talk about." "Say it with me." "I gotta sleep with six other people?" "How poor are we?" "just in case there is one!" "or do you need the punishment room?" "no!" "Mom!" "Dad's being mean to me!" "Meem!" "My name is not "Meem." "I'm so nervous." "These kids all seem kind of mean." "right?" "– I'll be there." "You've already been here a while." "You have to introduce me." "And make sure they know I'm cool." "You gotta have my back!" "273)}– Who's this?" "– This is Eric Cartman." "He lives with you at the foster home?" "Listen!" "I know our family is poor." "Kenny was poorer than me." "he's the poorest kid at this school." "What are you talking about?" "The poor kid is Jacob Hallery." "Really?" "His dad died five years ago." "His mom went crazy from depression." "So she can't even keep a job." "Did you hear that?" "We're good!" "but now..." "Everything's gonna be OK!" "'Cause I'm not The poor kid at school" "Let's hear it for Jacob Hallery!" "His mama's so poor she cuts coupons out to be institutionalized!" "Colorado's the place to be" "It's a whole new beginning for you and me" "Life can only get better 'Cause I know one simple simple rule he's not The poor kid at school" "Did he do stuff like this at your old school?" "Let's put our hands up!" "Except for Jacob." "His mama only understands handouts." "We do not tolerate students making fun of other students." "I wasn't making fun. with forty seven "your mama's so poor" jokes which ended in a finale with fireworks." "I was just teasing." "and he's not happy." "My caseworker..." "Not this guy! but you can't turn your frustrations on a kid who can't defend himself." "the shower room at Penn State?" "I'm kidding." "We like to have fun." "Is this the shower room at Penn State?" "I joke around." "This is my head shot." "Will you stop with the Penn State jokes?" "You're just taking something topical and revamping old catholic jokes." "And your mama jokes are better?" "They've been around since the 50s." "What does this have to do with anything?" "you gotta send help to the playground." "They're about to beat up that new kid." "Look at the new kid and her wittle dolly." "wimp?" "273)}– Leave her alone." "– Shut up!" "You foster twerps are all the same." "hand over the doll." "Who the hell is this?" "How about you find another little girl to pick on?" "Peter Pan!" "Karen McCormick is off limits." "Do you understand?" "Make sure everybody in this school knows. we understand that an intelligent being cannot blame us for questioning its existence." "nobody can know if any deity is watching over us." "Except for Karen's guardian angel." "Where did he take you after he saved you?" "He just took me back to my classroom." "Then he disappeared like always." "What have we told you about making up angel stories?" "But we saw him." "He leaped down from the sky!" "And he kicked the crap out of Jessica Pinkerton." "Stop it!" "We do not speak such certainties in this house!" "all of you." "It's time for the punishment room." "Did you see an angel?" "I didn't see an angel!" "You can't be certain of that!" "You might have seen one!" "Hit him again." "Are there such things as angels?" "273)}– Maybe?" "– Good!" "What do we do?" "What is the meaning of life?" "It's impossible to know!" "That's right!" "Who could that be?" "I've received some disturbing news that all you're providing the children to drink is soda." "I told on you!" "What business is that of yours?" "Child protective services is accountable for these kids!" "273)}– Have I given you my head shot?" "– We have that." "Are you only giving these kids Dr Pepper to drink?" "we'll do it!" "The children here are undisciplined and talking about certainty of angels!" "Excuse me?" "Let's have a look around." "What the..." "Who did this?" "What is that?" "It was like... a little mystery person flying around." "Almost like some kind of..." "agnostic angel. my God!" "273)}– What's going on?" "– We don't know." "We can't possibly know." "What have I done?" "I took you from your parents without checking into where you went." "I put innocent children into a dangerous environment." "What am I?" "A recruitment coach for Penn State?" "It's not funny!" "right?" "There can't be." "How did that get here?" "It's says it's a Pabst Blue Ribbon." "What is it?" "It's like beer but different." "But how did it get here?" "bitch!" "you dumb fucking asshole!" "bitch!" "You can remain silent." "and I'm in trouble." "and I'm in trouble!" "Get in the car." "and I'm in trouble?" "Take all these kids back to their parents." "We've embarrassed the system and made it something nobody wants." "It's like a Penn State homecoming party." "A false police report can carry up to a two-month prison term." "I won't say it." "or we can do it hard." "I won't say it." "Then we'll add another charge for resisting." "and I'm in trouble!" "Three arrests in just one power packed episode." "Proving once again that we're one Pabst Blue Ribbon away from becoming... 2044)}White Trash in Trouble!" "Sponsored by Schlitz." "It's good to have you back." "Your parents might give up selling meth for good." "Maybe." "fatass?" "I did a lot of thinking." "There's an important lesson we've all learned." "What do we do when the tables are turned?" "The day's looking brighter Gray skies are turning blue he's not The poor kid at school and it's such a thrill" "I'm rich just like Stan and Kyel" "All that matters is no one thinks I'm a tool he's not" "That's right!" "The poor kid at school" "Sing it with me!" "He's not the poor kid at school" "What the fuck?" "My mama's so poor she walks down the road with one shoe!" "I found one!"