"[Rooster crows]" "This is it, men." "Although I can't read," "I am certain this postcard is the call to arms we've been waiting for." "We just need the chimps to confirm." "Confirm nothing, Kowalski!" "I can feel it in my gut." "Do you doubt my gut?" "This gut here?" "Do you?" "Gut doubter?" "No, skipper." "No!" "You know I have the utmost respect for your gut." "Right, and my gut says this is it." "Farmageddon." "Rico, weapons." "[Laughing maniacally]" "Bring it on!" "Whoo!" "It says private's Uncle Nigel is coming for a visit." "Uncle Nigel?" "Oh, joy." "Oh." "[Explosion] My car!" "So I was on the hunt for a rare rough-fruited buttercup." " It's a flower." " Oh." "Circled the globe twice over, only to find the tricky devil right there in my own cottage garden." "Dear me." "[Laughing]" "Wait." "What?" "Oh, Uncle Nigel, another smashing story." "I'm so glad you found the time to visit." "Well, it was nothing but a skip across the pond." "Well worth it for my favorite nephew." "I had such a doily when I was a lad..." "Hand-knitted a tea cozy..." "Hairpin lace doily..." "Doilies, doilies, doilies." "We need a distraction." "I am on it." "[Humming]" "[Cuckoo chirping]" "[Alarm blaring]" "Well, how about that?" "I seem to have sent the power core into overload." "Clumsy me." "Really, Kowalski?" "That's your distraction?" "It was the first thing that came to mind." "Distraction?" "Nothing, private." "Nothing at all." "Come on, men." "Let's go have some fun with antimatter rods." "Whoo-hoo!" "Rightio, lads." "We best get on the" "Whoa!" "No, no, Nigel." "Stay with private, and tell him more of those delightfully stupefying stories." "All right, then, I shall, tell them all." "Get them out of your system." "Please." "So just when I thought I'd found the perfect doily..." "Right." "They're gone." "Now I can proceed with my true mission." "Mission?" "Hush, hush, boy." "High probability of dicey." "Dicey?" "Uncle Nigel, what are you talking about?" "The old spy game." "Why, surely you've suspected." "[Gasps] You're a spy?" "Ow!" "Well, of course, auntie Polly with Colin Beggar absolutely refused to" "Of course I'm a spy, lad." "What is that?" "Ooh, just a little something the boys in the lab whipped up." "Then cousin Dickey and aunt" "Ah, my target is indeed somewhere in this Central Park." "But you can't be a spy." "The buttercups, the knitting, the doilies." "Rubbish for the ruse, boy, the trappings of the deep cover life." "By the by, compliments on your own cover, private." "No one would ever suspect you to be anything but a hopeless Nancy cat." "I mean, look at this bit of stuff and nonsense." "Brilliant!" "And bright." "All--all part of my cover." "[Giggles nervously]" "[Screaming]" "Teacups, crumpets, Battenberg." "Right." "Now, my target is the vilest of vermin:" "The Red Squirrel." "The Red Squirrel?" "[Laughing]" "Uncle Nigel, there is no Red Squirrel." "He's just a myth." "He's a tricky customer, sure enough." "50 years unseen by any and all." "But that's about to change." "Quickly, lad." "A game's afoot." "Uncle Nigel, please." "The Red Squirrel is a fairy tale." "Pay attention, because I'm only going to say this once" "Unless, of course, at my discretion" "I choose to repeat it." "The Red Squirrel is real." "Uncle Nigel, that's impossible, because he doesn't exist." "[Ground rumbling]" "[Siren blaring]" "But how?" "I don't-- I can't" "Who's a brave soldier?" "You disarm the missile." "I've got an engagement with sciurus vulgaris." "What an agent, Nigel." "I'm impressed." "Ah!" "The sun!" "All those years underground," "I got the the light sensitivity, and I got it bad." "The Red Squirrel is real?" "Really real?" "Really?" "Lad, don't make me beak-slap you again." "Right." "Shall we, Red?" "[Whimpering]" "What's your nefarious plan this time?" "The toxin in that missile will make acorns grow so large, they will destroy all other plant life." "[Laughing] 50 years planning, and you come up with that?" "I like acorns." "A lot!" " Hi-yah!" " Ooh!" "Oh, yes." "Oh, dear." "Surrender, Red." "Sorry, agent Nigel, but I have a previously scheduled launch date." "[Laughing]" "Oh, nasty place for that launch button." "Private!" "Get off of there, lad!" "No, I can" "Ah!" "Ooh!" "Ow!" "Ooh!" "Throwing yourself into the bowels of the beast." "Gusty move." "And--and a completely intentional one too." "Totally not an accident." "50 years of my life--kaput!" "You birds are so annoying." "But the Red Squirrel will rise again." "Blast." "Guys, guys, guys, you won't believe it." "Uncle Nigel and I fought the Red Squirrel." "You called it, private." "I don't believe it." "The scenario seems unlikely, given the Red Squirrel's lack of existence and Uncle Nigel's" "Ah!" "Dear." "Crushed my crumpet." "Um, that." "No, Uncle Nigel, tell them about the Red Squirrel." "It's okay." "You can trust them." "He's really a dashing and not at all daffy spy." "Yeah..." "Right." "[Laughing] Oh, my boy." "Are you having a laugh?" "Good show." "Oh, I can't say I understand it." "Perhaps we can decipher it all over a cupper and biscuits." "Private, would you mind?" "What?" "Fine." "That boy and his imagination." "Tall tales and short stories, eh?" "Hmm." "[Ticking]" "No!" "Ooh!" "Uh, what--what happened?" "I am what happened" "The Red Squirrel." "Impossible." "You don't exist." "Right." "You go on thinking that." "Meanwhile, I've incapacitated the world's greatest penguin agent, and now there is no one who can possibly stop my mad plans." "[Laughing maniacally]" "I may be locked up, Red, but I'm hardly incapacitated." "Who is talking about you?" "I am speaking of super secret agent Nigel." "What?" "Secret agent?" "Me?" "You've got the wrong fellow, old bean." "Guess the ruse is up." "Oh, well, had a good run." "You?" "You actually are a super secret agent?" "Hello." "Welcome to the show." "You're late, but we saved you a seat." "I guess we owe private an apology." "I'd rather it was cash." "Private?" "Had some trouble with the kettle, but" "Hello?" "[Gasps] Oh, no." "No matter." "This private penguin, he is bumble-headed ninny." "He is nothing." "Huh." "The old rube has fallen for it." "He actually believes private's Nancy cat front." "Um..." "Ooh." "Oh, princess self-repectra, what do I do?" "How can I possibly stop Red Squirrel all by myself?" "[Squeaks] Hang about?" "Where is that trapdoor?" "Maybe it was this one or this one." "I thought for sure it was one of these" "Ooh!" "Ooh." "Ugh!" "Oh." "Here comes our rescue, boys." "[Laughing] Is this how you come to fight, with a toy?" "Yes." "Yes, it is." "Brilliant!" "Even in the heat of battle, he's a complete fancy pants." "Dedication to a cover story, that's what that is." "[Chuckles nervously] Yeah." "Ah!" "Yah!" "Yah!" "You realize how ridiculous you look with your horned pony?" "You're just jealous I have a lunacorn and you don't." "What?" "Of course not." "It is soft and weak, like you." "Jealous." "Ooh!" "I am not jealous." "In fact, I am going to rip it apart right before your eyes." "Actually, it was your eye I was thinking about." "What do you mean by" "Ah!" "So bright." "Top-notch work, private." "Ah!" "Well, Red." "Shall we finish this?" "Another time, so do svidaniya." "Beep!" "Nuts." "That squirrelly son of a gun has slipped away." "Yes, but we've seized his secret base." "[Alarm blaring]" "Which is apparently set to self-destruct." "[Explosion]" "Ooh!" "Again!" "Again!" "Sorry, Rico." "An evil lair can only self-destruct once." "Oh, man." "Thanks for the hospitality, chaps." "I'll let everyone at HQ know what a bang-up job you all did." "Especially you, private." "You almost had me convinced you were a plush-hugging twirl-about." "Well, you know, the funny thing about that is, private actually is a" "Grateful." "Grateful for everything I've learned from you, Uncle Nigel."