"Wow!" "You look nice." "What's the occasion?" "Monica and I are celebrating our ten-month anniversary, we've got reservations at Ja George." "Wow!" "How'd you get in there?" "Made a few calls, pulled some strings, and they agreed to seat us at 11:30 if we both had the chicken and didn't get desert." "Hi Chandler!" "Hey Caitlin!" "Somebody got a haircut." "Ugh, I hate it!" "I look like an 8-year-old boy." "Yeah, if that was true, gym class would've been a lot more interesting." " It's uh, 27 dollars even." " Oh, okay." "Here you go." "Hey, where's the chicken?" "Oh, he's in the back." "The duck pissed him off, said that eggs came first." " Great." "I'll see you later!" " Okay, bye!" "What the hell was that?" "!" "What?" "The flirting!" "Aren't you supposed to be going out with, I don't know hmm, let's say my sister?" "!" "I was not flirting." "It was totally flirting." ""Somebody got a haircut (Makes some whiney, nasally noises.)"" "Okay first of all, the impression, uncanny." "And second, that was not flirting, that was just casual conversation between two people." "That is all." "Yeah, right." "You wanna see flirting?" "I'll show you flirting." "I'm good." "I am so proud of Joey," "I can't believe he's going to be on Law  Order!" "I know." "But don't you think that it should be called Order and Law?" "No because first they arrest the guy and then they try him." "Don't get me started on that." "I was not flirting." "And on your anniversary, for shame!" "What's going on?" "Chandler was hitting on the hot delivery girl!" "I was not and oh God, shh!" "Well I'm sorry but you were!" "Okay?" "And besides if anyone should be hitting on her it's the guy who's single, the guy that who-who-who can do something about it." "Sounds like somebody wants to be Mr. Pizza Delivery Girl." "Well¡¦" "Is that what this is about?" "You like Caitlin?" "Ross!" "We broke up two years ago; you've been married since then." "I think it's okay that we see other people." "Well, I-I was watching her the other day at the pizza place." "And she's just so sexy and funny and has the cutest little¡¦" "Okay, y'know what?" "We don't need her measurements." "Okay pepperoni, pepperoni, pepperoni, okay Ross, I know she's pretty and you love her, but is she stupid?" "!" "She forgot my vegetarian!" "This is perfect!" "She'll have to come back here with your pizza, and when she does," "I'll turn on the Charm-O-Ross." "Oh I'm so glad you don't eat meat." "See?" "Vegetarianism benefits everyone." "Hey everybody, look who's here!" "You remember my grandmother!" " Big night!" " This is so cool!" "So, Joey on Law  Order, you must be very proud!" "Chandler, she doesn't understand a word of English." "I'm sorry, I thought you were Joey's other grandmother." "I've done it again." "She's my biggest fan." "Yeah, she's the only one in the family that's believed in me." "Yeah, I uh weighted like 27 pounds when I was born so¡¦" "Hey!" "Happy Anniversary!" "Happy Anniversary, 10 months!" "So umm, when I was in the shower I was thinking about our first night in London¡¦" "Uhh, Joey's grandmother is right there." "Is that the one that speaks English or the one that doesn't?" "The one that doesn't." "That was some hot love you gave me!" "I'm gonna go get ready." "Hey, why don't you wear those earrings I gave you?" "That's a great idea!" "I was saving them for something special." "Okay." "You have got to go home!" "But I like it here!" "You gotta go home and get the earrings that you borrowed from me okay?" "Chandler wants me to wear them tonight." "Okay, well I think that they're in my purse." "Why don't you go get dressed and I'll look for them." " Great!" " Okay!" "Rach, hi," "I need those earrings you borrowed." "Oh, umm, okay, yeah, I'll be, yeah I'll be right back." "Wow Pheebs, you speak Italian?" "I guess so." "Here you go." "Thank you!" "Wait, Rach!" "Where's the other one?" "Oh what, you-you want both of them?" "Rachel Karen Green, where's the other earring?" "!" "Okay, okay, okay, look, just don't freak out, but I kinda lost it." "I know it's in the apartment, but I definitely lost it." "Well, what am I going to tell Monica?" "She wants to wear them tonight!" "Tell her to wear her own earrings." "These are her earrings." "Nooo!" "Nooooo!" "You lent me Monica's earrings?" "!" "I'm not allowed to borrow her stuff!" "Why not?" "Because I lose her stuff!" "Okay, see that blind guy right there?" "I'm gonna bash his head in later." "Oh umm, my big scene is coming up." "Big scene coming up." "If you said, "Big lima bean, bubbling up." Would she understand the difference?" "Rach?" "What are you doing?" "Oh boy, I just can't watch." "It's too scary!" "It's a diaper commercial." "Oh yeah well, you know me, babies, responsibilities, ahhh!" "Pizza delivery!" "I'll get it!" "I will get that!" " Hi!" " Hi!" "One uh, vegetarian pizza." "That's $12.50." "Oh." "Uh, by the way, if it makes you feel any better." "I happen to like 8-year-old boys." "What?" "!" "The uh, your hair, before, your hair, you said you thought your looks like an 8-year-old's, and I'm just saying I like it." "The hair." "Oh." "Thanks." "You understand I don't actually like 8-year-old boys." "Y'know, all I'm looking for is the money." "Here you go." "Now stop bringing us pizzas you." "I'm gonna try." "You're welcome." "You couldn't let me have her, could ya?" "!" "What?" "This is a girl that I really like and had too swoop in there!" "What's goin' on?" "Chandler was totally flirting with the hot delivery girl!" "Thank you for that!" "I was not flirting." "It's okay." "I don't care." "It's uh, it's fine." " Really?" "!" " Really?" "!" "It's no big deal, I do it all the time." "So umm, you-you flirt with guys all the time?" "Sure!" "It doesn't mean anything!" "Just like I know it doesn't mean anything with you!" "Okay, but there is a big difference." "You are a lot hotter than I am." "True story!" "Chandler, this actually bothers you?" "Yes, it does bother me!" "And I think it would bother a lot of people." "Rachel, when you were going out with Ross, did it bother you when he flirted with other women?" "Uhh, no, no, it bothered me when he slept with other women." "And thank you, for that." "But y'know, I never really had anything to worry about." "Ross was never very good at the flirting thing." "What?" "What-what, what are talking about?" "It-it worked with you." "Oh!" "Y'know what?" "You're right!" "We meet, you flirted and then bamn nine years later you had me!" "All right, all right." "You-you-you know what I'm going to do?" "I am going to order another pizza and when Caitlin gets here, you-you" "I will show how well I flirt." "Yeah!" "I will," "I will get her phone number!" "And not the one on the menu!" " I found it!" " Ohh!" "Thank God!" "Where was it?" "On your dresser." " Okay that is the one we already have!" "Okay, here's my big scene." "My big scene's here!" "What would you bet nobody heard anything?" "No bet" "Anybody home?" " Oh my God." " What?" "Okay, everybody just keep smiling." "It'll kill my grandmother if she finds out." "Well, what is it?" "Oh, they cut me out of the show." "What?" "!" "Are you sure?" "Maybe your scene's coming up?" "Not likely. 'Cause you see that body bag right there" " Yeah." " I'm in it." "This is terrible, what are you going to do?" "I don't know." "This little, old lady lives for my career." "When they dumped me off of Days of Our Lives she almost died." "That's not good." "No, smile!" "Not that face, smile!" "Everybody smile!" "Joey, why don't you just tell her what happened?" "It's not your fault." "If we keep talking this way, aren't we gonna freak her out soon?" "Soon, soon, I'm gonna be on soon." "There I am!" "No!" "Sam Waterston!" "No-no-no, that-that's me, that's me." "No, it's Sam Waterston!" "Crimes and Misdemeanors, Capricorn One." "Doesn't know, "Hello." But she knows Capricorn One." "Phoebe!" "I have to have those earrings, we're going to leave as soon as the show is over." "But I already gave them back to you!" "No you didn't." "All right, I already didn't give them back to you, that's what I said." "Where is that other earring?" "It's not here Pheebs, it's not here." "Ohh, I went to Joey and Chandler's last night!" "Okay!" "Make sure you check Chandler's jewelry box." "Wait a minute." "Chandler has a jewelry box?" "Okay, we have like ten minutes." "Do you want me to get into that now?" "!" "Hey Pheebs!" "How's that uh, vegetarian pizza working out for ya?" "You and those vegetables have a real thing going on, huh?" "Why are you being weird?" "Do you like it?" "No, that would be, "Why are you being cute?"" "Okay, I'm working on my flirting." "Ohh!" "I did not get that." "So uh Monica, do you, do you like the Law  Order?" "Yeah, it's good." "See, I'm finding out all this stuff about you today, like you like the Law  Order and that you flirted with every guy in the Tri-State area!" "Chandler!" "Okay, let me get this straight, it's okay for you to flirt, but not for me." "Oh, I'm so glad we cleared that up." "Look, I'm sorry, some things are different for men and for women." "Go on, teach me something about men and women." "Okay, I've already taught you so much already, but whatever." "See when you flirt with a guy you think, "I'm just flirting, no big deal."" "But the guy is thinking, "Finally!" "Somebody who wants to sleep with me!"" "No way!" "It's true." " Well that's pathetic!" " Again true." "And this goes for all guys?" "All guys that are awake." "Then we go to sleep and then all the guys from the other end of the world wake up and behave the exact same way." "All right, it's another commercial;" "I still haven't told her!" "Joey!" "This is like the last commercial." "You've got like ten minutes left!" "I know, I know!" "What am I going to do?" "Ooh!" "No!" "You are not gonna run out and leave her here!" "Yeah, all right." "Ooh!" "Joey!" "Uh, Joey is gonna be right back." "Right back!" "Meanwhile, let's-let's-let's talk about you." "So, you're old and small." "Did you find it?" "The earring?" "No." "But look, I found my sunglasses under the couch!" "I've been looking for these since like last summer." "Okay, those are my sunglasses, you borrowed them from me." "Okay, calm down, here they are." "Phoebe!" " What are we going to do?" "!" " I don't know, I don't know." "All right well, we're just gonna have to tell Monica, that's all." "Oh gosh, she's going to kill me." "I suppose I could tell her it's just all my fault." "Ohh that'd be great!" "Mon, can I talk to you for a sec?" "Yeah, what is it?" "Umm, I lost one of your earrings." "I'm sorry!" "I am so, so sorry!" "Wow!" "All right well, I mean, what can you do?" "If you lost it you lost it." "I will replace it, I promise." "I feel so terrible." "All right, sweetie that's fine." "You didn't do it on purpose." "No." "Look at you!" "Come here!" " Feel better?" " Yeah!" "You're the best!" "Okay, wait a minute." "Wait a minute," "I-I-I, I can't do this." "Listen honey, this is, it's not Phoebe's fault." "She lent me the earrings, and I lost it." "I'm so sorry." "Honey, I feel terrible too." "That is exactly why I do not lend you stuff!" "Okay?" "!" "I mean, first it's my jewelry!" "And if it's not my jewelry, it's-it's my blue sweater!" "And if it's not my sweater, it's my sunglasses!" "Your sunglasses?" "!" "Yes!" "Oh, right!" " Pizza!" " Oh, mine!" "Mine!" "Mine!" "Okay, here goes." "Prepare yourselves for some Class A flirting." "Okay, hold on." "Okay." "Honey, you have nothing to prove." "And if you really like this girl, I don't flirting is the right thing to¡¦" "You'll see." "Okay." " Oh, what's-what's her name?" " Caitlin!" "Caitlin!" "Hey!" "Oh, we-we can't keep eating like this." " It's uh, $12.50." " Okay, so, do you make the pizzas in one of those uh, wood-burning ovens?" "No actually umm, I think that they're umm, gas." "Gas?" "Wow!" "Intense." "If this is the way all the Gellers flirt, we don't have a problem." "Hey uh, y'know that smell gas has?" "Yeah." "They put that in." "What?" "!" "The gas is odorless, but they add the smell so you know when there's a leak." "Well okay!" "A lot of other gas smells¡¦" "Oh the humanity." "Meth-methane smells¡¦" "Y'know what umm, actually I, I really, I should go." "Oh but I-I-I haven't paid you yet!" "Y'know what?" "That's okay, you guys have ordered so many that this one is on me!" "Was I talking to her about gas?" "More so than anything else." "I-I-I found it interesting." "I'm sorry." "Look, no-no, hey, hey, don't worry about it!" "In nine years, she and I will be right there." "Okay, well, I'm gonna clear out some of these boxes." " Ross?" " Yeah?" "What else do they add smell too?" "Hey!" "Hey!" "Hi!" "Hey-hey-hey," "I'm Rachel!" "From upstairs?" "The ones with all the pizza?" "Oh, is there a problem?" "No." "No." "Every thing's--they're fine." "Great pizza." "But it's uh, actually umm my friend Ross." "He uh, just gets really nervous when he's flirting." "Oh my God!" "That was flirting?" "!" " Yeah." " Wow!" "I know, I know, but uh just, I'm telling you, once, once you get past that part, that where it-it just feels like you wanna die, he's-he's really a good person." "The guy with the gas?" "!" "Yeah." "I'm-I'm telling you he's really sweet and he's really funny and he's just ugh, got a good heart." "And besides, I y'know, I think he really likes you." "Really?" "!" "Well y'know, we have 7 people and like 10 pizzas, what do you think?" "I just, I thought Joey was there." "Hey Ross?" "Umm, I just ran into Caitlin in the hallway and-and uh, you must be getting better at this flirting stuff than I thought." "What do you mean?" "Well, I don't get it, but she wanted me to give you her phone number" "And she just gave you this?" "Yeah!" "Rach, thanks but uh, I don't need you doing me any favors." "I-I-I didn't!" "I didn't!" "She thought you were cute." " Well that I can believe." " Yay!" "Hey!" "Is the show still on?" "Almost over man." "Look!" "Oh!" "Is that the Pope?" "!" "Why am I looking?" "Oh, here I am, here's my big scene!" "All right back off!" "I gotta gun!" "I'm not afraid to use it!" " Oh Joey!" " That's right!" "You couldn't have at least changed your shirt." "Now, I wanna a suitcase filled with 100,000 dollars." "Choo!" "Choo!" "Choo!" "Filled with $100,000 in small bills, and if I don't get it..." "Choo!" "And if I don't get it," "I'm gonna shoot this duck!" "Oh no!" "I'm comin' out!" "And she's supposed to buy this?" "!" "Joey, bravo!" "That's uh, scenes from next week's show." "Next week's!" "I am definitely gonna watch that!" " What about these?" "These look the same?" " Definitely!" " Not as each other!" " Oh, then no." " You ready?" " Yeah." "You look amazing." "I'm the luckiest man in the world." "Ohh, you're about to get a little luckier." "Let me see the earrings." "Oh, honey, the earrings¡¦" "They look great!" "Does your boyfriend have the best taste or what?" "My boyfriend really does have good taste!" "Thanks for picking out the earrings man."