"LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:" "Good, you're here." "Let's get you caught up." "Jane Gloriana Villanueva was accidentally inseminated with Rafael's sperm." "So, yeah, that kind of changed her life." "But she still wanted to pursue her dream of becoming a writer, so she applied to grad school." "Oh, and our Jane was also caught in quite the love triangle between Rafael and Michael." "And let's not forget where we left Jane's parents." "They'd accidentally gone to Cuba." "And on the way, Xo realized what was standing in their way." "You clearly have some unresolved issues" " because of your ex-wife." " NARRATOR:" "Oh, and speaking of crazy exes," "Rafael's ex-wife Petra got her hands on Rafael's last sperm sample, secured a turkey baster, and...  guess what?" "Which Rafael just found out about." "I know, oh, boy!" "Or girl!" "Oh, and remember our crime lord Sin Rostro, aka Rose?" "Well, Jane and Michael found a vineyard in Switzerland" "Rose visited before she changed her identity, so the noose is tightening there." "Finally, we have a place to start looking." "LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:" "Oh, and remember this woman?" "She sent her henchman to the Marbella and he kidnapped" "Rafael's sister Louisa!" "I know, cray-cray!" "So let's see what happens next." "Even as a young woman," " _" " Alba Gloriana Villanueva cherished tradition." "_" "_" "_" "_" "_" "_" "_" "LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:" "Oh, the heart of it." "_" "_" "_" "_" "_" "YOUNG XIOMARA:" "I don't want to do this." "_" "_" "I don't think I even believe in God." "_" "_" "_" "Whatever." "What is this?" "_" "_" "Oh." "_" "Are these from my baptism?" "And mine, too." "_" "LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:" "Another cherished tradition of Alba's?" "Staying on task where church events were concerned." "_" "Lina confirmed and she said that she would wear something church-appropriate." "But that probably means the black dress from Madonna's "Like a Prayer" video." "Great." "And did you talk to Rafael?" "Lina confirmed, did you get that, Abuela?" " Mm-hmm." " Jane, did you talk to him?" "Why?" "He's the one that asked Michael." "Thank you for bringing back my son." "I want you to be his godfather." "Yeah, that was before you told them both you loved them." "I know, you're right, I'll call." "And he'll say he's uncomfortable and I'll say I understand and we'll pick someone else." "So?" "I can't imagine Mateo's godfather being anyone but Michael." "LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:" "Oh, the heart of it." "_" "_" "Okay, okay." "LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:" "Which brings us to a time-honored telenovela tradition." "This is a waste of time, Rafael." "I took three home pregnancy tests." " (phone rings)" " LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:" "The ill-timed phone call." "But you also stole my sperm and turkey-basted yourself, so you could see why I'd have trouble trusting you." " (phone rings)" " I want to talk to my doctor, face to face." "Uh, hey, Jane." " I'm sorry, can I call you..." " Uh, I just wanted to go over some of the baptism details." " But I'm also just..." " Shh." " Is this a bad time?" " Shush me," " you dragged me here." " No, no, not you." "Just, um..." "I-I just wanted to talk about Mateo's godparents." "I know you" " asked Michael in the heat" " Dr. Peters is here with the result, I assume, so" " of the moment, but I wanted to check and see if - please hang up the phone!" "That's still something you're comfortable with." "Uh, yeah." "Yeah, yeah, that's all good." "Okay, I'll see you at the church." "Bye." "Petra is definitely pregnant." "Well, Michael's the godfather." "Rafael's totally fine with it." "_" "RAFAEL:" "What were you thinking?" "Look, when I got a call about your... sample," "I went to return it, but then I ran into Luisa and she told me that you well, that you did... love me." "She said what?" "LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:" "To be fair, Luisa didn't know" "Petra had the sperm." "So I just did it." "And I planned to seduce you, and then say it miraculously happened." "Obviously, the fertility clinic wasn't supposed to call with a billing issue." "I mean, they're, like, the worst clinic." " Petra." " What?" "I'm sorry." "This is awkward, okay?" "I was playing you." "Luisa was covering for me." "I was trying to get on your good side so that I could buy you out." "I wanted you out of my life so that I could move forward with Jane." "WOMAN:" "I know it might seem like just a little blink, but it's the first step of your relationship." "_" "Are any babies blinking back?" "Tanner is." "Yes!" "Good boy!" "Not just yet." "LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:" "And this brings us to an important tradition Jane hoped to establish for Mateo:" "overachieving." "Or, at the very least, achieving." "Make sure to explain to Mateo what you're doing, Jane." "Mommy's trying to get you to blink, because... all your friends are doing it." "But also, say no to peer pressure." "I know it can seem a little silly." "But that's how language develops." "Narrate everything." "But don't step on my toes, Jane." "I've got a job to do." "We are on it, right?" "♪ Good-bye, Tanner ♪" "♪ Good-bye, Lily ♪" "♪ Good-bye, Mateo... ♪" "Good-bye, Dina." "I'll see you shortly." "I'm sorry." "I'm gonna have to conclude the Cuba slideshow early." "_" "I know, but there's a casting crisis at The Passions of Santos, and it's important, because "Make Love Week" is coming up." "_" "It's my duty to handle these things, now that I am an Executive Producer or E.P." "This isn't going to be one of those vanity credits." "I'm ready to roll up my sleeves, so people can enjoy my strong forearms, and really produce." "Feel free to finish without my nuanced insights into the local culture." "I'll get the curtains." "_" " Hey, man." " Hey!" "(both imitate explosion)" "Wait, are you here to see me or Jane?" " Uh, both." " Oh." "Just saw you." "Now, uh, I have to..." "Look, I got to apologize to her." "I drew a really hard line the last time we talked, and I just feel like I could've been more thoughtful... (shushes) Stop!" "Come here." "You have to keep playing it cool." "She likes it." "What?" "I overheard her talking to her mom last night." "And then Michael took this condent stand." "It was actually pretty sexy." " She thought it was sexy?" " Yes." "Let me drop some Rogeli-knowledge on you." "Pay attention." "The next time you have wussy thoughts, don't say them to Jane." "Write them down instead." "Uh, wait." "Let me just tear my E.P. notes." "I'm an E.P. now... maybe you heard?" "It's like being chief of police, but with higher stakes." "_" "Trust me." "You want to protect and enhance your masculine image." "Have you even considered a spray tan?" "JANE:" "And now we're walking to the front door." "And we're seeing... (stammers) Michael?" "Hey, what are you doing here?" "Yes, what are you doing here, Michael?" "I-I'm..." "ROGELIO (coughs):" "Manly." "Just here to update you on the Sin Rostro investigation." "I talked to the owner of the vineyard we thought Rose visited in Switzerland." "Had he heard of her?" "No, but he's gonna send us a copy of the visitor logs." "If we compare them to samples of Rose's handwriting, maybe we can figure out what name she was using back then." "And you should get going on that, Detective." " I'll walk you out." " Oh, okay, uh," "I'll see you at the baptism rehearsal later?" " Yeah." " If his busy crime-fighting schedule permits." " I'll-I'll-I'll be there." " Let's go, let's go!" "And now I'm shutting the door." "And I'm thinking that was weird." "And I'm taking you out of your seatbelt." "LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:" "Wow, she's pretty good at narration." "Now we are going to check the mail." "Ooh, junk." "Oh, wow, Mateo." "Look, Mommy got a letter from grad school." "And now I'm opening it." "Seeing it's from Professor Blake." "And now I'm reading." ""We're delighted to inform you that you've been accepted into our graduate writing program."" "And now we're dancing." "Because Mommy got into grad school." "Get it, get it, work, work." "I mean it'll be hard, but I think I can pull it off." "Mateo will be three months by the time class starts." "I would've gone to work anyway." "Hey, are you okay?" "LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:" "How do you find the words to say that your psychotic ex-wife inseminated herself with your stolen sperm?" "Yeah!" "Yeah, totally." "And I'm excited for you, sorry." "No, it's okay." "I mean, I've been talking about it for the past half an hour." "Hey, so is your sister coming to the baptism or... ?" "She didn't RSVP." "Uh, nope, I have not heard from her." "LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:" "Maybe because she was kidnapped!" "Whoever you are, you're not gonna get away with this!" "My brother probably has a SWAT team ready to bust in any minute!" "She probably ran off to her Ashram or something." "Wait, why is Michael here?" "He's the godfather." "You asked him when he got Mateo back." "Then I called you this morning to see if you were still okay with it." "Any of this ring a bell?" "I'm sorry, to be honest," "I wasn't listening to that call." "But fine, whatever, Michael's the godfather." "It's-it's great." "Okay, stop, wait... what's going on?" "Look, now's not the right time." "Now you're freaking me out." "Just tell me." " Let's just talk about it later." " Please!" "It can't be as bad as what as what I'm coming up with in my head right now." "Turns out I had one sperm sample left." "Petra stole it, inseminated herself." "And now she's pregnant with my baby." "What the... ?" "(bells ringing)" "LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:" "As the Bible says:" ""The Lord is a stronghold in times of trouble."" "Let's hope so." "All right, so your family members will be seated over here." "MAGDA:" "Hola, Jane." "What are we doing for Christmas this year?" "PRIEST:" "Godparents, you'll be standing over..." "I just can't." "I mean, why would she do that?" "Remember how we set her up to maker her think" "I still had feelings for her?" "And I think that she'd do anything, even turn in her own mother, if she thought she had a chance with you." "Yeah, well, apparently it worked." "Oh, God." " Hey." "Hey." " Huh?" "You okay?" "Yeah." "Yeah, I'm fine." "Jane." "Wuss alert." "Wuss alert." "Take care." "Uh-huh." "Cool diary." "Oh." "It's not a diary." "Then can I read it?" " No." " Then it's a diary." "XIOMARA:" "She's pregnant." "Yes." "Confirmed by his doctor." " No." " Yes." "_" "Turkey baster." " ALBA/XIOMARA:" "No!" " JANE:" "Yes." "LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:" "Thanksgiving will never be the same." " (phone buzzing)" " Oh." "Shh, shh." "Grad school." "Hello?" "Yes, this is Jane." "Hi, Sheila." "Yes, I'm very excited." "Thank you." "Oh." "Oh." "Oh." "Okay, well, thank you for letting me know." "Yes, I will let you know." "Okay." "Bye." "What happened, hon?" "The writing program has all these weird prerequisites, and apparently, I'm missing world lit." "_" "And they offer it at a summer school intensive, but I'd have to start... tomorrow." "So?" "Mom, Mateo's three weeks old." " I can't leave already." " Hon, do you remember what you said when you were pregnant?" "We need some kind of signal." "A way for you to let me know that I'm about to let motherhood hijack my goals." "How about I say..." "You're about to let motherhood hijack your goals." "There's got to be a way to make it work." "Yeah." "Yeah, you're right." "No, you're wrong." "Let's not recast." "_" "I'll work around Blanca's issues." "You're not hearing me." "Blanca can't even walk." "It was a horrible boating accident." "It's okay." "It's Make Love Week." "We're gonna be in the bed anyway." "Rogelio, she broke her pelvis." "But..." "And her jaw is wired shut." "We must recast." "But it's Make Love Week." "Fans will want to see someone spectacular in bed with me." "Salma, Penelope, J. Lo." "Rogelio, be realistic." "You're right... younger." "Selena, Demi, Emma Stone." "I heard she can play any race." " Stop, you know who it should be." " No, I don't." "Her agent said she's willing to screen test." " I-I don't know what you mean." " You do." " I really don't." " You really do." "You will never guess who Dina wants to screen test." "Your ex, Luciana." "Don't even say her name." "And how did you know?" "Just a hunch." "Based on your overall rage level." "Do you think it's the right move for the show?" "You know, as an E.P.?" "Well, obviously, the fans and the press will go nuts." "And it'll be great for ratings." "Okay, so then maybe it's a blessing in disguise." "I mean, we haven't made much progress on your baggage with..." "I said don't say it." "You can't even stand to hear her name." "Maybe it's time to rip off the Band-Aid." "And it could help with us too, you know, moving forward." "Well, maybe you're right." "Maybe it's time to clean out the storage locker." "Is that a figure of speech?" "_" "JANE:" "Knock, knock." " Professor Blake." " Jane." "Hi." "How are you?" "I'm good." "I'm really good." "Uh, so excited to start the grad program." "Oh, and this is Mateo." "You remember, he was in here, and now he's out there." "I-I remember. (chuckles)" "Congratulations." "Thank you." "So I was wondering." "Because Mateo's so little and so incredibly quiet," "I was hoping I can bring him along with me to my summer class." "I-I just..." "See, I wasn't anticipating leaving him so soon." "I wouldn't want it to be distracting for the other students." "Me neither, a-and it won't be, because he's just a little sleeping blob." "He doesn't even blink yet." "I just really want to make this work, please." "Tell you what, let's give it a try." "(gasps) Thank you." "Thank you, and I promise nobody will even know that he's there." "LUISA:" "Is there anybody there?" "!" "(gasps) Hello?" "Who are you?" "What do you want?" "And what are you doing?" "Please, just talk to me." "LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:" "I'd tell you what's going on, but I'm a little confused myself." "(men converse in German)" "Wait, no English?" "What... what is that?" "That's German." "No problem." "I went to Munich for Oktoberfest." "Listen..en" "_" "_" "(speaks German)" "Wh-What?" "Mutter?" "Murder?" "You want to murder me?" "No." "Please." "No." "_" "_" "This "pitiable bloody-handed fiend of vengeance"" "represents the power of a woman scorned." "(Mateo fusses) Creon called her "a clever woman, skilled in many evil arts"" "She tricked King Peleus's daughters into murdering their own father." "JANE:" "Shh." "Shh." "Oh, oh, uh, sorry, not you, him." "Just gonna get the pacifier." "Working on the pacifier right now." "JANE:" "Oh." "I got him, so that's the good part. (clears throat)" " Hi, there." " I heard what happened." "Uh, from my office." "It was really loud." "JANE:" "I'm so sorry." "I mean, he's just having an off day." "Sure, now you're perfect." "And I probably shouldn't have taken off the brakes from the stroller." "Lesson learned." "Look, Jane, bringing him to class isn't going to work." "I know." "And if you're not ready to leave him, it's certainly understandable." "You can always reapply next year." "Mmm." "BLAKE:" "But please let me know." "There are other students who would love to take your spot." "(cell phone chimes)" "XIOMARA:" "Something's wrong with this woman." "I mean it." "I think she could be a hoarder." " _" " Oh, she is." "Her episode of Celebrity Hoarders was epic." "Wow." "What's that?" "Your diary?" "It's not a diary." "Then let me read it." "Oh, no, it-it's full of feelings..." "I was too vulnerable to share, so I wrote them down instead." "Yeah, that's a diary." "Why don't you read it to me?" "It'll be cathartic." "It's too embarrassing." "Come on, I won't judge." "LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:" "I might." "(clears throat)" ""When you left me, I felt like a tiny kitten without his fur."" "_" ""I often feel like a sweet peach you took one bite off and then carelessly tossed aside to rot in a compost pile of tears."" " _ - "You crushed my heart..." ""like a walnut.." "In a walnut-crushing machine."" " _" " Wow." "I know." "I always had a way with words." "Maybe that's where Jane gets it." "And Luciana pretty much destroyed you." "Well, that too." "But that was eight years ago." "I mean, you're a different person." "You're not nearly as insecure." "Really?" "I promise." "She has no power over you anymore." "Thank you, Xiomara." "So maybe for the good of the show," "I can screen test L..." "Luciana." "You said her name." "I'm letting go." "I'm gonna burn this." "Although, perhaps we should preserve it." "Because of the quality of the writing." "Burn the diary." "JANE:" "What are you doing here?" "I'm just, uh, picking up Rose's handwriting samples to match to the visitor log from the vineyard." "How are you?" "I took Mateo to class with me, and it was a total disaster." "So I'm either gonna have to give up grad school for now or leave my baby behind at three weeks old." "Macho." "Manly." "Suave." "That's tricky." "I'm sure you'll figure it out." "Yeah, I'm sure I will too." "Well, I guess I should go." "So... seems I miscalculated." "I thought a romance was developing between Rafael and I." "Turns out, he was manipulating me." "So you inseminated yourself." "Like I said, miscalculated." "Now, we can keep rehashing the past, or we can move forward." "You know, I don't even know what I'm doing here." "I'm carrying Mateo's half brother." "Or sister." "Moving forward then." "Now, the way I see it, there are three options." "One, I get... an abortion." "Two, in the next month or so, I find someone." "Let's say, a Russian oligarch." "I, uh, sleep with him, tell him the baby's his, we settle in Russia, and you both get to say good-bye to me forever." "Or three, I stay here in Miami, and we raise him or her together, with you 100% involved." "What are you talking about?" "I'm not interested in being a single mother." "(scoffs) No, I had one... that was hard." "Yeah, that's because your mom is evil, not single." "Okay, see, that's the kind of language I don't want around my baby, Jane, and if you two are going to be co-parenting my child half the time," " then I..." " Us two?" "Yes, aren't you?" " No, we're not." " Petra..." "Oh, well, I just... (chuckles)" "Never mind." "My mistake." "LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:" "It was not, in fact, a mistake." "I wanted you out of my life so that I could move forward with Jane." "Which meant, of course, he wasn't with Jane." "Which meant, of course, there was an opening." "Well, you may or may not be together." "Regardless, you, Rafael, need to be there every step of the way." "It's a lot, I understand." "So you two talk it over." "Just remember there is a clock on options one and two, so, as soon as you can, let me know what you're leaning toward, because this... is in your hands." "I, uh..." "Yeah." "(exhales)" "I mean, there's no good option." "No, there is not." "Well, what do you think?" "Hmm?" "Of the three?" "_" "Oh, you can't ask me that." " Just in general." " No, no, no." "That's your call!" "Because you don't want to be with me?" "I didn't say that." "So it would impact you." "Please." "Mateo's only three weeks old!" "I just..." "I'm just not there yet." "And so," "I told him he would have to make the decision without me." "Well, I'll weigh in." "I think she should have an abortion." "Xiomara!" "What's the alternative?" "We welcome her to the family?" "Have her over for Thanksgiving?" "_" "Used my own turkey baster." "Enjoy!" "(Mateo crying)" "I think Yevgeniy bit Mateo again." "Oh, please, it was just a little nibble." "_" "Exactly." "_" "And then what, she doesn't tell Mateo he has a sibling until one day he finds out?" "Who can I make this out to?" "How about your son?" "How could you not tell me about Yevgeniy?" "She's a liar!" "My mom's a liar!" "I'm moving to Vladivostok!" "JANE:" "Okay, stop!" "It's out of my hands." "You know what?" "I have enough to worry about with this whole school decision." " Come on, you're going back." " Mom, he's so little." "Lots of people have to leave this early..." "But that's just it..." "I don't have to." "It's an option." "Right, and an option you're lucky to have." "Right, Ma?" "_" "_" "No, not a psychopath." "Rose appears to be a sociopath." "_" "_" "Frequent use of the past tense, disfluencies, lack of emotion... textbook." "Mm-hmm, and as for matching the handwriting to a name in the visitor log?" "ANDREW:" "Well, it's difficult, due to the ink degradation and wine stains." "But my best guess would be this name." "Denise." "Denise, Denise what?" "I can't say." "Her last name appears to be obscured by what looks like Pinot Noir." "Maybe a Malbec." "(phone chimes)" "_" "_" "Okay, well, thank you, thank you." "Michael!" "Meet my complexion consultant," "Anton." "Anton is a wizard with the bronzing wand." "Okay, what-what exactly is the emergency here?" "You are too pale for the baptism photos." "I'm a police officer!" "An emergency means someone is dead!" "Well, you look like a corpse... close enough." "Yeah, I'm not getting a spray tan." "How's Plan Macho-Macho Man going, anyway?" "Oh, honestly, it's harder than I thought." "There's a lot I want to say to her." "I mean, she's got so much on her plate." "Yeah, like the whole Petra disaster." "What Petra disaster?" " Lift the cheeks, please." " Petra disaster?" "Rogelio, what Pet... ?" "Oh, my God." "It is "Make Love Week."" "I cannot have any tan lines." "Anyway, Petra got herself pregnant with Rafael's sperm." "I'd be more shocked, but we did that story on Santos." "Classic stuff." "Jane must be devastated." "Write it down, bro, write it down." "Oh, my God..." "Now you have to do it." "Half of your face is already tan." "_" "So, mommies, as we wrap up, is there anything you'd like to share?" "Where you're at, Where baby's at?" "I do, actually, have something to share." "(crying):" "I'm starting school tomorrow." "I'm sorry." "I just wasn't expecting to separate so quickly." "MOM:" "Why?" "If you don't mind me asking." "Oh, well I got accepted..." "LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:" "And so she told them." "The writing program." "The world lit class." "I won't put you through it twice." "The point is she opened up." "And my mom thinks it's a no-brainer that I should go back to school." "But how do you leave Mateo?" "Exactly!" "God, my heart would crack open." "No, mine is!" "MOM 2:" "But wait, it's her passion." "I mean, do you want to go to grad school..." "Mateo's mom?" "Jane, and yes." "No one said she didn't want to go." "But she just broke into tears." "MOM 3:" "I want to work." "Does that make me terrible?" "INSTRUCTOR:" "Mommies, stop." "There's no right choice, because we're all different." "The only thing that's important is that you honor whatever choice is right for you." "Oh, my." "Did you... ?" "Do that again!" "Oh, my, you did!" "He blinked!" "You blinked!" "You blinked!" "Yes!" "Oh, my God, we have a blinker, ladies and gentlemen!" "Yes!" "Oh, you blinked." "Oh..." "You're doing the right thing." "Remember, she can't hurt you anymore." "This is the last part of letting go." "Thank you, Xiomara." "_" "Hello, Lu..." "Luciana." "Rogelio." "You look as incredible as I remember." "You don't age." "I never have." "Let's work." "I assume you've read the lines?" "This is when" "Blanca reunites with Santos after an agonizing separation." "MAN:" "Let's roll!" "(clears his throat)" "(gasps)" "_" "_" "_" "_" "_" "_" "_" "_" "_" "_" "_" "_" "_" "_" "_" "_" "LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:" "Relax." "It is called The Passions of Sant..." "Oh, wow." "Cut!" "LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:" "Let it be noted, forever, and always, that on the day of Mateo Gloriano Rogelio" "Solano Villanueva's baptism, his mother and grandmother and great-grandmother put their troubles aside...  _" "_" "_ to focus on him." "JANE:" "Ah, okay." "He's got his gown on." "You got the candle." "The house looks great." "Are we ready?" " One more thing, Janie." " Uh-huh?" "Abuela wrote this to read at my baptism." "I read it at yours." "And I want you to read it at Mateo's." "(crying):" "Oh..." "PRIEST:" "It is with great joy that this family, brought together by unconventional circumstances, welcomes this precious life for baptism." "Jane and Rafael, what name do you give your son?" " Mateo." " Mateo." "PRIEST:" "Michael and Lina, as godparents, do you promise to support these parents in raising this child, showering him with wisdom and affection?" " We do." " We do." "Mateo, with this holy water... an ancient symbol of purity..." "I baptize you in the name of the Father," " Oh." " And of the Son... and of the Holy Spirit." "Amen." " Amen." " Amen." "I am going to read something that my mother read to me when I was baptized." "This is something that my mother read to me when I was baptized." "_" "_" "_" "_" "_" "_" "_" ""May you be brave." ""May you be loving" ""and joyful and kind." "_" "_" ""Whatever you dream for your life," ""may you summon the strength to follow that dream." ""May you always let your faith be greater than your fear." "_" "_" ""Through every moment of every day." ""That I walk beside you," ""cheering you on." ""Hoping for you, praying for you." ""Loving you." ""And may you one day" ""love your own child as deeply" ""as I love you, today and always."" "I love you, Mateo." "(Mateo crying)" "_" "That was so beautiful, Abuela." "Maybe you get it from her, Janie." "The whole writing thing." "_" "_" "_" "_" "XIOMARA:" "Exactly." "Going to grad school, pursuing your dreams." "Um, I actually called and turned down grad school yesterday." "_" "Because Mateo blinked back." "And I would've missed that." "Janie, Mateo blinked two days ago!" "He did?" "I didn't tell you, because, well, it seemed so important for you to see it first." "But, Janie, you're gonna miss things." "I missed your first steps." "You did?" "_" "_" "_" "Do you think either of us is any less of a mother?" "I know, but it's not just that." "I mean, I burst into tears at the mommy class just at the thought of leaving." "That's because you're an emotional person." "And you're three weeks postpartum." "Do you remember how excited you were when you told us?" "We got into grad school!" "(both gasp)" "Oh, my God!" "Oh, my God!" "We got into grad school!" "Mateo will be fine." "I promise." " We've got him." " Mm-hmm." "I got to make a call." "(phone beeps)" "Luisa, it's me." "I'm, uh, bummed you missed the baptism." "Hope you're... still on the wagon." "LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:" "Wow, she got her ties off." "These Germans are the worst kidnappers." "Oh, no, somebody help me!" "Hmm, that was rather gentle for a kidnapper." "You're not allowed to hurt me, are you?" "You can't "mutter" me." "In that moment, Luisa realized he had to be working for someone both psychotic and caring." "(gasps) Someone like..." "Rose did this, didn't she?" "Oh, my God." "I can't believe this." "This is so crazy." "But it's also kind of romantic." "Don't you think?" "I mean, no... (scoffs)" "I'm still really mad at her." "Hey, Professor Blake, Jane Villanueva here." "Uh, listen, I called yesterday, turning down my spot in the program, but if I could just retract that," " that would be great." " (beeps)" "That was a mistake, calling and turning down the spot." "I do want to go, and-and even though the timing is tricky," " I was just thinking about what I want for my son." " (beeps)" "Just to reiterate, I can do this." " I mean, it's a juggling act, but..." " (beeps)" "I actually looked you up, and I saw that you have kids," " so you understand..." " (beeps)" "And as far as "looking you up,"" "I-I just meant that in a commiserating kind of way," " not, like, in a stalker-y way..." " (beeps)" "So... (chuckles) I hope to hear from you soon..." " to see if I..." " (beeps)" "FEMALE VOICE:" "Mailbox is full." "_" "Xiomara, can we talk about what happened, please?" "What do you mean?" "When you walked off the set." "Oh, that." "I-I was just giving you guys privacy, since you two were obviously seconds from ripping each other's clothes off." "Uh, that's ridiculous." "I was only doing my job." "It's not real, it's acting." "Oh, please, you're not that good of an actor." "(gasps)" "I know you don't mean that." "I'm getting a ton of Paloma buzz this year." "Screw it." "If he wants to be with her, he can." "What are you doing?" "_" "_" "_" "Ma, stop." "_" "_" "B-But he... _" "Grab food." " Jane." " Hey." "So I, uh, I got to take off soon, got to get back to work, but I left a little something for you in your room." "Oh, okay, thanks." "For everything." "All right." "He looks good, doesn't he?" "He's got, like, a certain glow." "I don't know, he's been so distant lately." "Seems more like extreme manliness to me." "Maybe he's taking himself out of the game." "No, no, no, no, no, no." "Maybe you are just not aware of the sophisticated nature of the game." "Okay, what's going on, Dad?" "Oh, hey, um..." "Rogelio told me about Plan Macho Macho Man." "What?" "(chuckles)" "Did you really think I would respond to that kind of thing?" " Jane, so listen..." " And being distant, and kind of a jerk on purpose?" "Jane, I-I'm trying to tell you." "I mean, the one thing" "I like most about you is that you're honest and straightforward and able to communicate." "Jane, stop, just go look in your room." "MICHAEL:" "To preface, I gave Rogelio's idea a try." "Weirdest three days of my life." "Are you okay?" "Yeah, I'm fine." "Uh, take care." "So, look, here's what I would have said to you." "You're obviously not fine." "I speak "sad-Jane."" "I can tell how conflicted you are about the whole grad school thing." "I took Mateo to class with me, and it was a total disaster." "So I'm either gonna have to give up grad school for now or leave my baby behind at three weeks old." "I think about how much you wanted to go." "I mean, you practically gave birth in the guy's office because you were begging him to let you in." "I know you must be freaking out over this news about Petra." "Petra got herself pregnant with Rafael's sperm." "Jane must be devastated." "But I do have some experience with the whole" ""surprise pregnancy via insemination" scenario." "And when it happened with you, well, I pretty much did everything wrong, 'cause I just tried to ignore it...  instead of embracing it." "So that's my advice to you." "There's a baby coming." "Whatever that means to you, embrace it." "_" "_" "_" "Okay, Mateo's down." "So..." "let's talk about Petra." "I mean, if you still want to." "No, yes, of course I do." "What are you thinking?" "I offer a counterproposal." "A modified oligarch, if you will." "She doesn't pretend it's someone else's kid," "I don't know, maybe I visit a couple times a year." "But is that what you want?" "I don't want any of this." "And I know that you don't want to be part of my equation, but you are." "I know." "Here's what I think." "I think you'd miserable doing that because of you who are." "And I would want Mateo to know that he has a sibling because of who I am." "Wh-What are you saying?" "I think that you... we, possibly... should figure out how to make it work, here." "I'm guessing from that reaction, that's what you want?" "Thank you." "Yes." "Thank you so much." "So first of all, you're an excellent actor." "That goes without saying." "But I'm glad you said it." "I want to be honest and mature." "I'm just really threatened by Luciana." "I know it's part of your job, but it was hard to watch." "I want to be honest too." "You were right... there was chemistry." "But let's be real," "I would have chemistry with a cardboard box." "You are who I want to be with." "Good." "Then I'll suck it up and deal with it." "You don't have to." "I told Dina, "No, Luciana's out."" "Uh, but is that what's best for the show?" "No, but you're more important than the show." "We're gonna have to hire someone subpar, and I will shine brightly enough for us both." "LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:" "And speaking of tough choices." "So you're in." "Yes." "We'll figure out the custody." "But you want to have this baby?" "Well, I don't want you to have an abortion." "Or move to Russia." "Fair enough." "So I'll stay." "Great." "LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:" "Oy, I think that's her version of a happy dance." "(phone rings)" "_" "_" "Gustav?" "Hello again, Detective." "Sorry we just getting back to you." "LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:" "Who the hell are they?" "_" "_" "_" "_" "No, no, it's fine." "Listen, thank you so much for the visitor log." "It really paid off." "Looks like the person I'm looking for went by the name Denise back then." "_" "Does that ring a bell?" "No, no Denise." "Denise brought great suffering unto our village." "GUSTAV:" "Hang up, Clothilde." "All you need to know is this name..." " Hang up." " Heidi Von Ocher." " (dial tone sounds)" " Hello?" "LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:" "Dude," "I'm thinking the same thing." "_" "_" "And speaking of Rose," "Luisa was feeling better, knowing she had kidnapped her." "(grunts) I said room temperature." "(scoffs)" "_" "_" "Rose?" "I heard "Rose."" "_" "(gasps) She wants a picture of me?" "(chuckles)" "She's outrageous." "Do you have any lip gloss?" "LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:" "Wait a minute, if they're trying to get Rose to notice Luisa's missing, then Rose isn't the one who had her kidnapped." "Oh, wait, no, you can't..." "you can't hurt me." "Which means Luisa is not so safe here after all." "(shouts)" "_" "JANE:" "Oh, my God." "Professor Blake called me back while I was nursing Mateo." "He got my 12 voice mails." "He wants to institute an "e-mail only" policy." "I'm in." "I'm in." "I got my slot back." "Yes, yes." "Girl, work, work." "Okay, should I call him back?" "No, no, no, absolutely not." "Okay, but I'm going, I'm going." "Yes." "Yes." "MAN:" "Last look." "(grunts)" "Is it true I didn't get the part?" "This is not a good time." "We are about to shoot a death-defying scene." "MAN:" "Come on, people." "We're about to go into triple overtime." "I thought we could do this the easy way, Rogelio." "But, uh, if you're not gonna give me the part because I deserve it, then you're gonna have to give it to me so I don't release this." " MAN:" "Standby to roll." " LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:" "And this moment brings us to one last telenovela tradition...  the terrifying cliffhanger." "DIRECTOR:" "And action." "No... !"