"Autumn - 1940 (15th year of Showa Emperor)" "Asakusa, Tokyo" "Pollce Headquarters" "Office of Publlc Securlty" "Censorship Sectlon" ""Autumn Flotsam"" "Not Approved" "UNIVERSITY OF LAUGHS" "Not Approved" "Unlversity of Laughs Theater Group" "The University of Laughs Theater" "Asakusa theater district" "Interrogation Room" ""Hope" theater group." "Here." ""They kiss."" "Marked for Deletion" "Approved" ""Comrades win their freedom."" "It's vital to the p ay!" "Marked for Deletion" "A plague on you all!" "Not Approved" "Next." "Approved" "Not Approved" "Approved" ""...destroys the Imperial Capital."" ""Klng Kong In Japan"" "Not Approved "Klng Kong In Japan"" "One left." "Next." "Here." "The First Day" "University of Laughs Troupe." "I've heard of it." "Oh, really?" "It must be famous then." "I never watch that kind of th ng." "I'm Sakisaka." "The new censor, here." "I'm Tsubaki." "I was posted from overseas to supervise cultural policy." "Excuse me." "Your leader is..." "What's-is-name Rokuha." "Furukawa, Roppa." "That's it." "A very active gentleman." "My wif e watches his moving pictures." "He's with the "Kingdom of Laughs"." "We're the "University of Laughs"." "Is that different?" "Completely." "Such similar names." "We did come first." "But they're more f amous." "I hate to say." "And your leader?" ""Blue Sky" Kanta." "Never heard of him." "A grass-roots kind of actor." "He's been n movies, too." ""Please, ex-squeeze me."" "What?" "It's his trademark phrase." "You don't know it." " Once more." " No." "P ease do." "It's embarrassing." ""Please, ex-squeeze me."" "You're under contract?" "Yes, in-house." "In-house?" "In-house playwright." "Under contract, that is." "Are you nervous?" "Pardon me." "It's not your first time, right?" "I never get used to this atmosphere." "Relax, please." "We rarely use torture." "Pardon me." "Let's not waste time." "I'll start." "P ease do." "One thing... please..." "A small token." "Toasted bean cakes." "Eat them while they're hot." "Tsubaki-san." "Such behavior will stop." "It's off ensive." "It's only bean cake." "My predecessor et it slip, but I'm a man of diff erent cloth." "Don't get me wrong." "They just looked tasty." "Don't try to curry favor." "I abso utely wasn't." "I've no interest in your work, whatsoever, nor once partaken of this comedy nonsense." "I was shocked to be posted here." "Why me, to dea with the ikes of you?" "I was told I was the perfect candidate f or censor." "An emotional person couldn't do the job." "Being frank, I th nk the censorship system is totally unnecessary." "Ban everything!" "Lock, stock and barre!" "Citizens should unite during this crisis." "What use comedy and gaiety?" "That's my opinion." "Do I make myself clear?" "There is that viewpoint." "This must not be repeated." "I'm very sorry." "It appears I'm your worst nightmare come true." "Where are they from?" "Kaminari bakery." "A very good choice." "I'll take them back." "Still warm." "I just bought them." "Mother likes that bakery." "In that case." "F ee free." "Leave them." "I may avail myse f." "I understand." "You're thinking..." ""He's going to take them, after all."" "I wasn't." " It's all over your face." " It isn't." " It certainly is." " Damn." "Be honest." "Just a little." "I'll take them." "I wish I'd never bought them." " Leave them." " I' take them." "I said leave them!" ""What a bastard," you're thinking." "I am not." "Be honest." "I am." "It's fine by me." "I am indeed." "You wrote all this?" " Thought of all the ines?" " That's right." "A remarkab e talent." "As a layman, I've no idea but how long to write this?" "About two days in all." "Two days?" "A lot of thought goes into it." "Two days for this." "Remarkable." "Weeks of preparation." "You're proud of it?" "I wonder." "In parts, perhaps." "It seemed that way." "I believe it's funny." "I read it three times yesterday then pondered overnight whether to permit it." "Might I ask your opinion?" "Will it pass or not?" "I'd be most happy if it did." "Please observe." "As you know, we censors read the scripts and red-f ag problem areas." "The more flags, the less chance of approva." "In your script there's not one flag." "So, it seems." "Not one." " Which means..." " No problems?" "The very opposite!" "Too many prob ems!" "So many flags I quit half way through." "I' I cut to the chase." "This script is impermissib e." "What's wrong with it?" "Let me ask you." "Did th s sort of thing pass before?" "My predecessor approved it?" "With a f ew corrections." "Dere ct on of duty." "Where's the worst part?" "I'll soon fix it." "I brought paper." "Did you hear me?" "It's all bad." "Beyond the pale." "All?" "Beyond 'fixing'." "But..." "For a start, the cast are Westerners." "But that's..." "On the 2600th anniversary of Emperor Jinmu's accession... why on earth a barbarian love story?" "It's imprudent to say the least." "But "Enoken"... he's a f amous comedian..." "he just did Hamlet." "Because I wasn't in charge." "I cannot approve this." "And what's this?" "This title." "Is it a prob em?" ""The Tragedy of Juleo and Romiet"." "What's that?" ""What's that?"...it's..." "Is "Juleo and Romiet" correct?" "Yes." "There was an Eng ish writer by the name, "William Shakespeare"." "This Shakespeare wrote something cal ed "Romeo and Juliet"." "Did you know?" "I knew." "Too close f or coincidence..." "Romeo and Juliet..." "Juleo and Romiet." "What can it mean?" "It's what we ca a "pun"." ""Pun"?" "A play on words." "I wanted a gag in the title." " A "gag"." " Yes." " Hence, Juleo and Romiet?" " Yes." "It's not funny, though." "It's a common techn que." "Swapping the first syllab es." "For instance..." ""Friar Tuck" becomes "Triar F* *k"." "Is that funny?" " It's a bad example." " Do they laugh?" "Maybe a diff erent one." ""Friar Tuck"" ""Friar Tuck" and..." "No, just forget it." "Anyway, it's a parody style we use all the time." "I can't f ollow the sense of t." "Nonetheless, a Westerner's work is impermissible in these times." "Romeo and Juliet were Italians." "We just signed a treaty with Italy." "They're our allies." "Nice try." "Where's the harm in that?" "Okay then." "Shakespeare's nationality?" "He was English." "Do you agree that Britain is our enemy?" "Well, yes." "Let us imagine Churchill making sushi." "Sushi?" "No matter how uniquely Japanese a f ood if it were made by the British Prime Minister not a sing e citizen would put it to his ips, right?" "Could you eat Churchill's sushi?" "No, I couldn't." "That's my point." "Because Ohurchill would be terrib e at it." "I wouldn't eat Mr. Hitler's sushi." "Either." " Pedant." " You or me?" "Anyway, it can't be approved." "Another thing." "I think this play... is poorly done." "I didn't laugh once." "It's comedy, correct?" "A manif est failure." "Why is "Ex-squeeze me" everywhere?" "My boss's stock phrase." "Folks love it." "I don't get it." "Not Approved" " I won't beg but..." " Try." "I wrote it f or the stage." "The humor won't convey un ess perf ormed." "It's f or actors to say out loud." "Do t, then." "If that's true, read it out." "You mean, me?" "Make me laugh." "If I read..." "I might glimpse the humor." "Please, make me laugh." "If you do, you'I rethink?" "If I do." ""Dear Juleo."" "One thing before I begin." "Maybe you noticed it's a play-within-a-play." "I noticed." "A f ctitious theater group puts on "Juleo and Romiet"." "Enough commentary." "In front of Romiet's villa..." "Stage directions." "Above, a ba cony." "Just the lines, please." "Romiet appears:" ""Dear Juleo." "How can I ever forget you?"" "It's not funny yet." "This is the build-up." "Continue." ""Juleo, wherefore art thou, Ju eo?"" "A famous ine from the original." "Too much commentary." "I'll continue." "Suddenly, a priest arrives." ""How terrible." "Romiet is dead!"" ""What do you mean, Father." "I'm still here!"" ""What?"" "Out jumps the director:" ""Father, you're too early." "You're not unt the second act."" ""Oh, do ex-squeeze me!"" "There it is." "Right there." "A big laugh." "There?" "A big gag." "I don't get it." "Even though Romiet's still alive the Priest, my boss, comes on." "Why?" ""Why?" Because it's funny." "How?" ""How?" Because he discovers Romiet's body n act two." "His entrance while Romiet lives throws the whole thing into turmoil." "It's a 'happening'." "But it's already in the script." "Of course." "Isn't it rather artificial?" "It's artificia but it won't seem so with good actors." "How can "ex-squeeze me" not seem artificial?" "Point taken." "Let's move on." ""Dear Juleo."" "That's enough." "See how funny it is?" "It's utter y beyond approval." "Sakisaka-san..." "In good conscience, not as censor but as human being." "Please wait." "Sorry but I can't f athom anyone laughing at this." "There's no atmosphere here." "With an audience there'll be mayhem." "In any case, no approval as is." "Understood." "Sorry to bother you." "One moment." "What will you do?" "Go consu t my boss." "Consult?" "We've no time." "If this is out we must find another p ay." "Tsubaki-san." "You don't listen, do you?" "What do you mean?" "I just said there'd be no approval, as is." "You're a writer." "Read between the lines." "Meaning..." "I sa d "as is"." "If corrected, maybe there's hope." "Don't you see?" "Thank you so much." "I'm not trying to close you down." "How and where to correct it?" "Two main requests." "Set it in Japan." "Make the cast Japanese." "Then I' I approve it." "Impossible." "Why?" "The word-p ay becomes meaningless." "That's your prob em." "Please understand, parody has its own ru es." "A rewrite or another play." "Any other script must be submitted." "Even if passed bef ore don't assume it will now." "What's it to be?" "I' rewrite it." "I look forward to it." "By when?" "Tomorrow." "Wait a minute." "If you can't; f orget t." "It's persecution." "I'm not here just for you." "Many other awful theater groups are waiting." "A day's rewrite is unrealistic." "You wrote it in two." "One should be plenty." "Bring the Japanese rewrite tomorrow." "I' decide at that time." "Thank you for today." "That is al." "You may leave." "You may leave." "The Second Day" "You worked all night?" "I napped at daybreak." "Are you alright?" "Don't worry." "I'm used to it." "Good." "I'm sti I reading." "Please, sit." "Excuse me." "This is hopeless." "Hey, wait a minute." "This is banned." "What's wrong with it?" "I worked a I night." "At least tell me why." "This isn't yours." "I told you, I do have other scripts." "I took time to read yours earlier." "Thank you very much." "What do you think?" "You're conf dent?" "I think I did what you asked." "It's changed for sure." "We I done f or changing so much, so quickly." "I would've done more with time." "I'm impressed." "Might we get approva?" "May I take another look?" "Please." "Yesterday's issues shou d've been addressed." "It's now set in Japan." "They're a I Japanese." "That much is true." "It'd be a big help to get approval today." "I'm sure." "With rehearsa s and all." "When's your first night?" "Beginning of next month." "Two weeks." "Can you make it?" "If approved today." "I was surprised to see Kanichi and Omiya." "You did your homework." "I tried many ways to set Romeo and Juliet in Japan." "Then I hit on the Meiji melodrama, "Golden Demon"." "Parody is best based on a f amous work." "It must've been a re ief?" "Of course." "Who'd think of Friar Laurence as a buddhist priest..." "I think that works." "It's funny, right?" "Not at all." "Humor is a persona thing." "But a writer's mind is certainly fruitful." "Actual y, I must thank you." "What f or?" "A Japanese setting is perhaps funnier." "The play-within-a-play works better." "How do you mean?" "It's about the two layers." "You laugh at the play and at the chaos backstage adapting it for Japan." "The comedy's much stronger." "I wouldn't have thought of it without you." "Honored to be of service." "Approved for performance?" "Not like this, no." "The reason being?" "The Japanese setting seems f orced." "The cast is from the Meiji classic but the action hasn't changed." "She takes poison, he commits harakiri." "That's not in the origina." "And that's what's funny." "I don't understand." "The director's at wit's end trying to adapt it." "I can see that." "Look at th s part." "The director addresses the audience." "Second page." ""Am the director of this piece."" "May I?" "Please." ""On the 2600th anniversary of Emperor Jinmu's accession," ""our stupid p aywright created" ""an awfu barbarian love story." ""So I bold y took up my pen" ""and wrought this tragic drama of ove."" "He sticks his oar in, sets it in Japan." "So the f orced e ements are natural and they're funny." "I see." "Forced is good." "A most arrogant director." "There aren't many like this." "Is it me?" "This man is me." "Heavens, no." "Several things I said mysteriously reappear." "Page three." ""If Churchill made nood es, would you eat them?"" "You've switched "sushi"." "Otherwise they're my words." "Could you te I?" ""Tell"?" "I knew straight away." "Are you making fun of me?" "Not at al." "It's a very good line." "Okay, I' I rewrite it." "Keep it as it is." " I'll rewrite it." " It's fine." " But..." " It's fine!" "Right, I' I leave as is." ""Noodles" is weak." "P ease replace "sushi"." "I understand." "It makes the director's point." "I' I replace it." "Don't worry, it's much better." "Does the audience allow these cheap jokes?" "They come to laugh." "If it's funny, anything goes." "It's beyond me." "I fixed it." "This should be "sushi", too." "I actua ly pref erred "sushi"" "but wasn't sure how you'd take it." ""Nood es" doesn't hit the spot." "It needs Churchill squeezing that rice." "I fixed it." "Good." "Officia approval?" "They're all waiting." "I implore you." "There's more." "Where?" "I can't approve it." "But I fixed everything you said." "One more request." "You never mentioned it yesterday." "Your head was already full so I kept quiet." "But..." "I was being considerate." "What more must I do?" "Please include "For the sake of my nation"." " "The sake of my nation"?" " Correct." "Give me a break." "I beg your pardon?" "There's no place for that." "I'd like there to be." "Where?" "Who says it?" "I'm not the writer." "That's your job." "Impossible." "Then let's double it. "The nation's sake, the nation's sake."" "Where will it fit in the story?" "Change the story to make it fit." "But..." "A story to stir peop e's spirits would be to my liking." "This is a comedy." "We do it to make fo ks laugh." "It appears you still don't get it." "We've no need for plays just to make people laugh." "Let's repeat it three times." ""The nation's sake, the nation's sake, the nation's sake."" "I'll think about it." "I'll be here same time tomorrow." "Excuse me." "The Thlrd Day" "Place of b rth?" "Small ta k." "In Morioka." "A nice place." "Famous for noodles." "Very tasty." "A l-you-can-eat." "That's right." "How many bowls can you eat?" "A thousand?" "I'm not sure about that." "Let's begin." "Sorry." "I'm no good at sma ta k." "Not at all." "I read your play." "Are we in the ball-park?" "About the new line." "It's in there." "I gave it to Kanichi." "It's definitely in there." " Three times." " Most strident." "Be so kind as to read." "Page thirty-three." "Kanichi's speech." "Two lines from the top." "Please." "Kanichi:" ""Darling, I go to fight f or the sake of my nation." ""I don't mind dying, f or the sake of my nation." ""For my nation's sake, my soul soars off to batt e."" "Too over-the-top?" "Over-the-top is good." "Enter a young geisha." ""Dear Kanichi."" ""Ah, here's Miss Neyshan."" "Peop e will take his ove of 'nation' to mean this geisha." "Correct." "Is this on purpose?" "Yes." "This is your intent?" "That's right." "I set t up with "sake of my nation."" "When Miss Neyshan turns up they' go nuts." "You don't seem to understand." "I'm not aiming at laughs." "But if we can score them as well..." "My request didn't mean bring out "Miss Neyshan"." "I ref er to our Great Japanese Empire." "I understand that." "Men die for our nation." "Who the hell is M ss Neyshan!" "?" "It's abominab e." "I' rewrite it." " Rewrite it." " I'll rewrite it." "Rewrite it now." "I just can't understand you." "My pen got carried away." "You knew I'd hate it, so why did you write it?" "It's my nature." "I can't help going for the laugh." "Who is this woman, anyway?" "She's only in this scene." "She's Kanichi's other lover." "It's not my place to say, perhaps but it's very slipshod plotting." "That's fine." "I put her in just to get a laugh." "You treat human lif e very ight y." "It's theater." "That's how it is." "Shouldn't you depict real people?" "Some theater's ike that." "We do comedy." "I don't understand." "For humanity, you go see drama." "Our punters want laughs." "I'll soon fix it." "You always liked writing?" "I wanted to be an artist." "I started painting backdrops." "Backdrops?" "Background scenery and stuff." "Before I knew t, I was doing this." "You f ound your vocation." "Right." "Is theater that interesting?" "Very interesting." "Until last month, I was supervising workers abroad." "Where?" "Occupied China." "Suppressing Anti-Japanese thought." "A very difficu t job." "For me, this is harder." "I never imagined I'd censor theater." "Let alone this low-brow stuff." "I'm to d 'm not receptive to comedy." "That can't be true." "Everyone says so." "I've no grasp of how to make people augh." "Don't you make jokes?" "I haven't yet." "Witty comments?" "I don't have any." "Making people augh, doesn't interest me." "To each his own." "Is laughter rea y that important?" "I think so." "I've never rea ly laughed but 've got this far in lif e." "We're cha k and cheese, you and I." "I'm done." "Let's see." "Kanichi: "I go to fight f or the sake of my nation." ""I don't mind dying, for the sake of my nation."" "Kanichi's mother appears." "Mother: "Supper's ready." ""I made your favorite." "Something special from the butcher."" "Kanichi:" ""I don't m nd dying f or the steak of my nation."" "Don't te I me..." "Yes." "You changed "sake" f or "steak"?" "That's correct." "Sorry." "You make light of the fact... he'll die, not f or his nation's sake, but "steak"?" "Yes." "Is that it?" "Yes." "That's not what I meant!" "I understand." "I do but..." "If you do, why write this?" "I can't help myself." "I admire your productivity under time limits." " But why, if it's certain rejection?" " Forgive me." "You're a strange man." "I'I go think about it." "A good idea." "Anything e se I should know?" "Fix that then we move to the next." "It can't take f orever." "We've no rehearsal time, as is." "That's your prob em." "Oan't I hear them al?" "End of conversation." "Please." "The actors are all over me wanting to know." "No concern of mine." "Excuse me." "Tsubaki-sensei." "Please address that other th ng." "Kindly omit scenes injurious to public morals." "Which scenes are they?" "Kissing." ""Golden Demon" is a love story." "It must have kisses." "If you're set on this p ay please remove the kisses." "How about a peck on the cheek?" "No good." "What if it's sweet?" "No good." "I'll make it chaste." "I don't care." "Please, a peck on the cheek." "I said no." "The forehead, then?" "Just one little k ss, please?" "Tsubaki-san, please don't invite misunderstanding." "No matter where p aced, I cannot approve kissing." "A love story without kisses..." "Tomorrow, then... for the steak..." "Steak..." "The Fourth Day" "Kanichi:" ""Darling, I go to fight f or the sake of my nation." ""I don't mind dying, f or the sake of my nation." ""For the sake of my nation..."" "Continue." "Sorry, but I had to do it." "Continue." "Anyway." "Omiya opens her mouth as if to vomit." "Kanichi:" ""For the sick of our nation."" "It stinks." "It does indeed." "If it's that bad, why write it?" "This isn't a schoo f or bad writers." "Frankly, I can't handle this one after another." "What's the point of "sick"?" ""Sick" and "sake" don't even rhyme." "I know... it's terrible." "It's less and less funny." "I much pref erred steak." "Did that please you?" "Given the choice, I'd rather it be steak." "I'll change it back." "I didn't mean that." "I meant if I had to compare." "I'll fix it." "Steak..." "You're a curious man." "It's back to steak." "It's f ar superior to sick." "I think so, too." "It's not just comedy; it's a mother's wish to pamper her son." "Anywhere else?" "I believe I already asked about the kissing." "The lovers stare at one another." "He embraces her." "Their lips meet." "Their lips meet?" "P ease read on." "At that moment, enter a drunkard." ""It's a right f or some." The overs separate." "Whenever they try to kiss someone gets in the way." "It says their ips meet." "At the po nt of no return, they're interrupted." "That's the gag." "To the contrary, they mustn't kiss." "If they do, it's not funny." "The comedy lies in them a most being ab e." "You gave it a lot of thought." "It helps the script." "Thanks to your advice, it's getting better." "Honored to be of service." "Anything else to fix?" "Not from my side." "Which means..." "From my side." "Meaning what?" "A request from the Chief of Police." "Wa t a minute..." "I shall pass it on." "He'd like a policeman to appear." "A po iceman?" "Pref erably a good part, a scene stealer." "I can't wr te more roles..." "The Ch ef's wish..." "No way." "It changes the story." "Make his name "Ogawara"." "Please." "It's his real name." "He' bring his family first night." "He's very excited." "But..." "Thank you for your hard work." "The University of Laughs Theater" "Starring "Blue Sky" Kanta" ""Ishikawa Master Thief"" "Writer:" "Tsubaki, Hajime" "The Flfth Day" "What's that?" "I was drunk last night." "Don't reca I bumping it." "Get well soon." "Thank you." "How's the policeman's part?" "It turned out better than thought." "The chief read it." "He did?" "He came by so I showed him." "He was very happy." "That's good news." "He requested we cast a handsome actor." "I'll te I my boss." "How about approval?" "Wi I you give it?" "Something else?" "About the policeman..." "I don't buy it." "Hang on a second." "The chief may be satisfied but I'm not." "What do you mean?" "He's just passing by." "Sakisaka-san..." "The lovers embrace, the officer appears..." "Read it, please." "The lovers embrace." "A policeman appears." ""Hey, you two." "What's going on?"" "They break apart." "The officer approaches, smiling." ""Cheeky love-birds." He exits, grinning." "Where's the problem?" "It's too random." "You're tel ing me?" "What?" "The role didn't exist yesterday." "It's so artificial." "Like pressure from above forced you to put it in." "I hate that." "That's the truth, though." "I beg your pardon?" "Forgive me." "Oan't there be a reason f or him to appear?" "There is a reason." "What?" "Just as they get in the mood, their ips a most touch..." "knock, knock, someone's there." ""What's going on, here?" The punters will wet themse ves." "They will?" "Undoubtedly." "I wonder." "Trust me on this." "Guaranteed hilar ty." "So the police officer's the butt of your joke." "Absolutely not." "That's what you said." "No, I didn't." "The laugh's not on him, but on the couple's panic." "That's your opinion." "The cop's a dream role." "You think he'I yell, but he just says "Cheeky love-birds"" "and wa ks away, cool as can be." "It's a p um part." ""Plum"?" "There aren't many this fun to play." "Please give us approval." "Otherwise I don't know what my boss' I say." "Wait." "It bothers me." "What does?" "I'm imagining how the officer would feel." "Please, wait a moment." "Rehearsal time's running out." "It' be too late, soon." "A couple embrace by the curb." "An officer approaches, looks..." "What's the line?" ""What's going on, here?" They part." "He approaches." "A tap on the shou der." ""Cheeky love-birds." Then he turns a blind eye." "Any problem?" "What don't you like?" "Why not turn a blind eye at the start?" "You're meticulous." "I don't like him turning up only to get a laugh." "It's ike he's a peeping tom." "I feel ike yelling at him to leave them alone." "Sak saka-san." "You're the first censor ever to care this much." "This guy bothers me." "Some actors are like that "This doesn't make sense"." ""My character wou dn't do this"." "I can't approve it." "The script's not right." "I never met such a censor." "It's not censorship, it's story-editing." "Does he have to say, "What's going on, here?"" "Yes, he does." "Otherw se they've no need to separate." "I see." ""What's going on?" They see him." "It's a ca cu ated." "Real y..." "Can you p ease give me a break?" "But I can't approve it like this." "But the police chief is happy, right?" "It's my decision!" "Sorry, but give it another night." "A writer of your caliber wi think of something." "Excuse me." "How about this?" "No, a layman should keep quiet." "What?" "I just had an idea." "Forget it, I'm embarrassed." "Please, it might be useful." "It's just an amateur's idea." "Please tell me." "What if the officer's chasing someone?" "Interesting." "He's after a robber." "He happens by." "The lovers drop their embrace." "It might work we." "It was just a thought." "No, it might be really good." "I think it's more natural." "Sakisaka-san, it's funny." "Let's have him chase a robber." "An officer appears shouting "Halt!"" "And he asks them, "Did anyone just run past?"" "But they didn't notice a thing." "That's right." "He leaves, they line up again." "Then he comes back and they part." ""He definitely came this way." "Where is he?"" "We rea y f eel his predicament." "The lovers want him to leave but he won't 'til he finds his man." "This is good." "This is excellent comedy." "Rea y?" "Let's try it out." "What, now?" "It's best to walk it through." "It makes you rea ize things." "Let's do it." "Wou d you be the cop?" "Me?" "I'll p ay the couple." "Wait a minute." "Do his lines, please." "What do you mean?" "It's your real job, right?" "It's rather sudden." "So, the couple embrace..." "Kanichi-san." "Omiya-san." "Enter Ogawara, the policeman." "If you p ease." "Kanichi-san." "Omiya-san." "Quick, I'm embarrassed, too." "Where from?" "There." "What do I say?" "You're chasing a thief, so, "Halt!"" ""Halt!"" "Then you glance at them." "Glance." "They jump apart." "The cop runs off." "Runs off." "Quickly." "Don't push your luck." "It's just your exit." "From the top, once more." "Kanichi-san, Omiya-san." "Enter the cop." "Ha t!" "Glance." "They jump apart." "Cop exits." "I like it." "I like t a lot." " Tsubaki-san, may I?" " Of course." "Maybe best if he doesn't glance." "If it were me, I'd approach them." "But a look will get a laugh." "No, he wouldn't look." "It's not true." "Perf ectionist." "I cou dn't approve it." "Okay." "He doesn't look just runs past." "It's best." "Kanichi-san." "Omiya-san." "Enter Ogawara." "Ha t!" "Then when he eaves." "The couple gets ready again." "Kanichi-san, Omiya-san." "Ogawara returns." "Your line please." "What is t?" "Did a man just run past?" "Did a man just run past?" "The thief went that way." "Which way's "that way"?" "Very nice." "It just came out." "That way's there." "There..." "The cop exits." "They embrace again." "Ogawara returns once more." "He does?" "Please." "Isn't it too much?" "That's comedy." "Damn." "Where did he go?" "That's very good." "Over there, Officer." "Over there..." "The cop exits." "He comes back again." "Are you sure?" "Maybe this way." "This way!" "Then again." "No, that's enough." "It's a ready too much." "One more time." "Three times is over-the-top." "Four is overdone." "If you say so." "I'm sweating." "Please, take a break." "May I say something?" "It occurred to me..." "Pursuing a thief, no officer yells "halt"." "Is that right?" "No thief ever stops as ordered." "What do we do?" "How about "You bastard"?" "He won't shout if he can't see him." "What' I we do?" "How's th s?" "He's with his men and yel s, "He went that way!"" "Sak saka-san." "Superb." "Kanichi-san." "Omiya-san." "Over there, he went that way!" "Kanichi-san." "Omiya-san." "Did a man just run past?" "The thief went that way." "Which way's "that way"?" "That way's there." "He went that way!" "Kanichi-san, Omiya-san." "Damn." "Where'd he go?" "Officer, he went there." "Men, that way." "Kanichi-san, Omiya-san." "Are you sure?" "Then, maybe this way." "This way!" "Over here." "He went this way." "Men, over here." "That's strange." "Over here." "Sak saka-san." "It's wonderful." "Really impressive, Sakisaka-san." "If you'd compile that I'd be grateful." "You've got a writer's gift." "Don't flatter me." "I' I go home and work on it." "Thank you f or your he p." "It f eels strange." "Not like a censor but as if I'm help ng you make it funnier." "For which I'm grateful." "See you tomorrow." "Excuse me." "Adults 50 Sen" " Children 20 Sen" "The Sixth Day" "Take thou this vial." "Thy pu se shall halt." "For three hours, sleep as though dead." "For your love to prosper, this potion is the on y way." "Father." "Here's Omiya." "About this s eeping potion." "This is it." "I take it and die once." "In the tomb, meet Kanichi and we elope." "Correct." "Does it work?" "Worry not." "Drink it and die like the sleeping." "Real y?" "I'm not supposed to d e!" "My mistake." "Sleep like the dying." "Thank you." "Are you sure it works?" "No need to worry." "No side-effects?" "Tested on animals." "On anima s?" "A frog, a dog and a monkey." "The frog and dog recovered." "That's a re ief." "What about the monkey?" "It died." "That's no good." "Only the monkey." "But they're the most human." "Do ex-squeeze me." "Did a person try it?" "Don't worry." "I did last night." "How was it?" "No side-effects." "That's a re ief." "I should know;" "I was awake all night." "Some sleeping potion..." "Do ex-squeeze me." "It's coming together." "Getting much funnier." "Thanks to you." "Not that I really care." "Fancy a smoke?" "Not f or me, thanks." "Imperial issue." "Thanks anyway." "Pardon me." "It's thanks to you." "You've got innate comic ta ent." "P ease, stop." "I rea y think so." "It's just an amateur's luck." "Comedy needs a special sense." "Rewriting with my boss never goes this smooth y." "Actors only look at their own role and try to get more lines." "They're exhausting to work with." "This "Blue Sky" chap... your boss." "Is he real y popu ar?" "I guess so." "Our head- ine act." "Be honest with me." "Is he funny?" "You put me on the spot." "Answer the question." "Sometimes he's funny." "Tons of experience." "Great t ming." "What about "ex-squeeze me"?" "You've got me there..." "Honestly, nobody laughs at al." "You're right." "But..." "Someone should tell him." "It's his trademark phrase." "If he didn't do it, we'd miss it." "I don't understand." "Sak saka-san." "How do you know?" "That nobody aughs?" "I can just imagine." "You saw the show?" "You came by our theater?" "Last night, on my way home." "Did you really?" "Not that I was really nterested." "You should've come backstage." "Were you there?" "I was direct ng." "Really." "So you actua ly came..." "Did you write that, too?" "Yes." ""Ishikawa Master Thief"" "A Kabuki classic as samurai s apstick." "Script prob ems?" "Not to speak of." "Just "ex-squeeze me"." "It came up eight times." "Did you enjoy it?" "Oategorizing the audience," "one might say I was among those amused." "Please admit you had fun." "Your boss ruins it, though." "What a hammy fool." "I know." "He plays Shogun Hideyoshi?" "Why does he spin cush ons?" "Is it in the script?" "Your idea?" "It's his party trick." "We have to put it in somewhere." "This time..." "I don't recall any stuff with cushions." "There is." "Rea y?" "Everything must be in there, by law." "Where is it?" "Right here." ""The priest stands playing around."" "Does that mean the cushion trick?" "I didn't realize." "I kept it vague thinking you'd rule it improper." "Get rid of it." "But..." "It's not a question of proper or not." "It's not funny." "What' he say?" " Do you like it?" " Not real y." "Lose it." "He's our troupe leader, so he'll do it anyway." "I'll arrest him on the spot." "If he tries it again, I'll shoot him dead." "It does stick out, but it's not complete y bad." "If it keeps him in good spirits then there's a point to it." "Is he that important?" "If he's in a good mood the who e theater relaxes." "The other cast members can a I relax into their roles." "Theater's a liv ng thing, these details are important." "If you could let it go just this once." "If that's what you wish..." "Sorry." "It's fixed." "Let's see." "No further problems." "Thank you very much." "Good luck with rehearsals." "Thank you very much." "I'I be there first night." "I look forward to it." "Yesterday," "I stopped at a nearby bar." "Which one?" "By the bridge." "You spoke to the o d guy?" "He talks a lot." "Yes, he does." "He loves Asakusa theater." "Sees all the plays." "A walking encyclopedia." "What did he say?" "He told me ots." "About our theater?" "Investigation's my forte, so I got a lot of inf ormation undercover, of course, about you and the theater." "Your reputation is terrible." "He's just a guy in a bar." "I don't pay attention." "I asked others, too." "The ticket collector." "The old lady?" "She referred to you as a traitor." "Traitor." "Stool-pigeon." "Police lap-dog." "Traitor." "Stool-pigeon." "Police lap-dog." "I've heard them a I." "I don't care." "Let them talk." "The punters know the truth." "That injury wasn't from a bump." "The actors beat you." "What's going on?" "They hate that I keep rewriting to your orders." ""Why don't you put up a fight?"" "You f ought plenty hard." ""If you'd any self-respect, you wou dn't take t."" "But then you'd be shut down." "A proud man would pref er that." "Many theaters choose to c ose." "I don't care." "As ong as the play gets better." "I don't care what others say." "And your boss?" "As long as he's got his best line and his cush ons." "I... should apo ogize." "I'd no idea it'd lead to that." "It's fine." "I got you into that situation." "I'm not bothered." "To tell the truth..." "I intended to shut you down." "I started this work thinking to p ace unreasonable demands" "and close these unsuitab e plays." "I figured as much." "Thus my requests and nit-picking." "I thought you'd give up." "But you held f ast, rewrote to my request and made a better script." "Even an amateur could see." "Ha f the credit is yours." "Not at all." "It's your ability." "Thank you f or your kind words." "I admire you." "Victory is yours." "You're one of the very best." "Disregard the others and keep at it." "There's ta k of a commendation." "I put your name forward." "You didn't have to do that." "Allow me that much." "Invite you f or lunch with the staff." "Don't please." "I'd get even more flak." "Maybe so." "Sak saka-san." "I' tell you a secret." "This is my struggle." "Struggle?" "In what sense?" "I don't understand what our country's doing." "Why is laughter wrong?" "Why take away people's pleasures?" "I understand how you feel." "But this isn't the place to mention it." "Sorry." "But I just don't get it." "A world where we can't write freely is wrong." "Why can't we write what we choose?" "We just want to be funny why submit each line to a censor?" "Tsubaki-san." "I thought of aying down my pen." "But I'm a comedy writer." "Comedy writers must have their own way of dissent." "Ignoring his Majesty's aws and withdrawing a script." "Is one way." "Ignoring the censor's input." "Staging the p ay, await ng arrest is another." "But this didn't f ee right for me." "It's not in a comedy writer's blood." "What unique way could I employ?" "Then I knew." "I'd take whatever they threw at me." "Rewr te everything they asked." "But make it better... funnier, more interesting than bef ore." "I knew that would be my way." "My way of strugg ing, against the authorities." "I understand what you've said." "Thank you." "Let me ask one thing." "Why tell me?" "I knew you'd understand me." "At east, you understand comedy." "A gross overestimation." "What a pity." "Sakisaka-san..." "You shouldn't have told me any of that." "Wait a minute." "Such a shame." "It seems we got carried away and f orgot our places." "I am the face of the authority you so despise." "You think I can turn a blind eye?" "Sakisaka-san..." "How cou d you be so naive?" "I didn't want to hear it." "Wait a minute." "Did not want to hear it." "What will you do?" "Are we shut down?" "That would be easy." "So too, detaining you as an agitator." "But et's play f air and square." "You have your way." "I have mine." "It'll be a battle of wits." "What do you mean?" "I can't approve the script as is." "I forgot one important change." "Can you indulge this request?" "Let me hear it." "Remove all elements of humor." "But that's..." "As a comedy, it cannot be f aulted." "But in these times comedy itself is inappropriate." "Please excise al comedic parts." "Should one remain, the play will not be approved." "I'm to stop writing plays?" "Interpret it as you will." "How about it?" "Are you up to the challenge?" "Of course." "Give me a day." "I' I rewrite it." "Excuse me." "Tsubaki-san." "You did understand me?" "I believe so." "Yet you' I rewrite it?" "Yes." "I want a comedy with no laughs." "Such a thing is impossible." "How would you know?" "You're so confident." "I'm not." "But I've f aith in myself." "Something wi I come to me." "As it has thus far." "Comedy without laughs." "Sounds interesting." "I look forward to it." "Excuse me." "I'll see you tomorrow." "The Seventh Day" "It's the first time you're late." "I'm sorry." "You look tired." "I didn't sleep." "Not at all?" "No." "I read your script." "You worked hard." "It's changed." "It's a diff erent work altogether." "A done in one night." "I worked flat out." "What were you thinking?" "About what?" "Remember what I said?" "If I laughed once, there'd be no approval." "So, what's this?" "It's funny from page one." "You think so?" "Page two." "Kanichi and Omiya meet." "Why the regional accent?" "Is there one?" ""Me-oh-my, it's my Omiya."" "It's goofy as hel." "What's the idea?" "Te me." "What were you thinking?" "I'm honored you augh." "What about this..." "Kanichi's ine," ""This time next year and the year after that and" ""the year after, the y'after, the y'after..."" "It's stupid." "It's stupid but it's fun." "You like that, don't you." "What is t?" "It's the funniest yet." "Explain yourself." "En ighten me." "I said not to make me augh once." "How many times do you think I did?" "I counted." "E ghty three times." "Me, who's never laughed in his lif e." "I laughed eighty three times." "I'm honored." "I laugh just to think of it." "Fool." "Is it some kind of cha enge?" "Fair enough." "Your script is a delight." "But a deal is a dea." "I can't approve it." "You may leave." "Excuse me." "Wait." "What's going on?" "Forget it." "I don't understand." "Things have changed." "Things?" "When I got home, I f ound this." "Army Draft Card" "Even if the play's approved, I won't be there to see it." "Tsubaki-san." "I report in two days to an inf antry regiment up North." "In that case..." "Congratulations." "Thank you." "Just between us," "I wrote the draft board to def er your call-up." "They crossed in the mail." "You did that..." "Thank you for the thought." "Wait a minute." "Does it mean you wrote the script knowing of your draft?" "I was so engrossed, I blocked it out." "Extraordinary..." "Sak saka-san." "It contains everything I learned in Asakusa." "I give it to you." "It'll never be performed." "Share it with someone." "Tsubaki-san..." "Excuse me." "Please wait." "What of your theater?" "I don't know." "You drove their popu arity." "The next play?" "Cancelled, I guess." "What a waste." "With such a script." "A script's no use without a director." "Can't something be done?" "Sak saka-san." "But it's perf ect." "What a thing to say." "It's not approved, remember." "You're right." "Thank you for everything." "Tsubaki-san." "Bravely," "I'll go die for my nation." "Excuse me." "Wait." "Don't disturb us." "Don't get killed." "Sak saka-san." "I'll ook after the script f or you." "Sak saka-san." "One day." "You'll direct this." "But..." "So, make it home." "Do not d e." "Are you a owed to say that?" "It's a secret." "I'm grateful to you." "You opened my eyes to a wor d I never knew existed." "I've been laughing all week." "Me, who'd never laughed bef ore." "I took it home and reread it." "Laughed at each line." "Imagined the actor's moves." "Then..." "Felt grateful to the intelligence of the man behind it." "I want to read more of your plays." "Make me laugh more." "Who knows if the troupe wi exist on my return." "We'll get new actors." "It's not easy." "Okay." "If no-one else, I' I do it." "Impossible." "Kanichi and Omiya." "The cop..." "I'll play them a I." "It's impossib e." "I' I do it." "Don't you worry." "Thank you." "Come back safe." "No ta k of death f or the nation's sake." "Isn't that what you wrote?" "It's only worth dying for steak." "You like that line, don't you?" "I love it." "UNIVERSITY OF LAUGHS" "YAKUSHO Koji" "INAGAKI Goro" "Original Story  Screenplay by M TAN Koki" "Music by HONMA Yusuke" "Produced by Fuj Television Network/ TOHO/PARCO In Association with Kyodo Television" "Directed by HOSHI Mamoru 2004 Fuji Television Network/ TOHO/PARCO" "The End"