"The Ex-Files" "I am really dreading this." "I know." "I mean, I'm so proud of Eli." "He's having this really great season." "I wish you could come with me and see him play." "Oh, I do, too." "God, an entire weekend with Karen--    how am I gonna get through it?" "Well, it's not like you'll be sharing a room." "Right?" "No, of course not." "Anyway, maybe I should give you..." "the number at the hotel, just in case." "In case what?" "I mean, you'll be with who you'll be with, so..." "Yeah, I know." "Got a pencil?" "I am just dreading this whole weekend, I..." "And I got you a sandwich for the car." "Here you go." "I thought we were supposed to be divorced." "I see more of him now than when we were married." "I mean, it's just that this tournament..." "is just, you know, so important to Eli that I..." "Didn't you say Rick's seeing someone?" "Yeah." "That could be why..." "you're experiencing such anxiety." "I mean, it reopens the wound, doesn't it?" "And there's got to be a sense of injustice on your part." "Is that tuna?" "Yes." "Hello!" "Ah, my yoga tape." "So, did you like it?" "I never looked at it." "Thanks for letting me keep it for 8 months." "It's a Hanukkah present from two years ago." "I haven't watched it either, but that's all gonna change." "In a self-improving mood, are we?" "Oh, Naomi, I have the most wonderful weekend planned." "I'm gonna give myself a facial." "I'm going to do one of those great cleansing juice fasts... that's just gonna be incredibly cleansing..." "and I'm completely reorganizing my closet." "Oh, I wanted to show you that book..." "I was telling you about-- about clutter." "Now, where the heck did I" "It's all about how clutter can erode your self-worth." "If you can find your self-worth." "Oh, I'm facing my clutter and my unpaid bills." "Of course, my first thought was... how am I going to get through the weekend without him?" "Rick, I mean." "And then I realized... you know what?" "This is great." "I--I haven't had time for myself since-- because I'm-- I'm so focusing on him." " Oh, right, this is that weekend." " Yeah." "So... she mentioned it-- the basketball thing?" "Yeah, she..." "Listen, have a fantastically purifying" "Oh, believe me." "A whole weekend alone." "Yeah, yeah." "What are you doing up there?" "Nothing." "Doesn't feel like nothing." "What does it feel like?" "Something." "Zoe, doesn't he look cute?" "Let me touch it." "Okay, okay, okay, okay!" " Daddy!" " What is this?" " What am I, just a toy to you?" " Yes!" "A little plaything-- is that what it is?" "Is that what you think?" "So what's it gonna be tonight?" "Pizza?" "Dad..." "Dad, all we ever have to eat here is pizza." "Really?" " Yes." " Yes." "Have you spoken to your father about this?" "Very funny." "I know, I know, it's bad I didn't call first." "I just..." "Hi." "No, I was... it's just a friend of mine from the station... just moved into the other unit, and I was visiting... and, you know, I couldn't just, like, be here and not say hi... and I also--I kind of need my book back." "What book?" "My Enneagram book." "Your hair's glad to see me." "Oh, yeah." "Yeah, I was..." "Actually, you know, my kids are here." " Oh, great, they are?" " So, yeah, there really isn't the best..." "No, I'd love to meet your kids." "I actually called you a few days ago, actually... but I didn't know if" "Oh, yeah." "Yeah." "Yeah." "I was gonna-- I was gonna call you." "You don't have to explain." "I just thought I'd tell you... you know, in case your machine ate it or something." "I've been trying to kind of wind things down... with with Tiffany." "When I first left home, I'll admit it..." "I was the kid in the candy store... and, yes, I'll be completely honest." "I didn't want to meet her friends... or introduce her to my kids." "Hi." "Hi." "This is Tiffany." "She..." "Are you wearing lip gloss?" "So, your lips are just that... glossy organically?" "Tiffany's friend-- lives in the, you know... the next building-- you know, the next one over." "Dad, remember that restaurant we went to once... where everything they serve is, like, miniature?" "Yeah, can we go there?" "I have no idea what you're talking about." "Bite Size." "Yeah, that's it." "Yeah." "Bite Size." "Bite Size, Dad." "I love that place." "So, this is it-- your television..." " your mini bar, and your a/c." " Cool." "Hey, what are you doing here?" "They ran out of rooms." "Coach asked for volunteers to stay with their families, so..." "This is yours--me and Dad get the other one?" "Dad and I, yes." "And you can actually connect the two rooms by opening this door." " Oh, what..." " Hey, look." "Free Bible." " Dad!" " We're not really gonna be using this door, so I..." " Daddy!" " What are you doing here?" " So, should I leave this unlocked?" " You got a new roommate." "Well..." "Here, take my bag." "Put my bag on the bed." "I love hotel rooms!" "Karen!" "Lloyd?" "Hi, I spotted you in the parking lot... but you didn't hear me." " No." " What are you doing?" "Our son, Eli-- he plays" "He plays guard for Upton Sinclair." "Oh, yeah." "This is my Ri-- this is my ex-husband, Rick." "Lloyd was very helpful... on that welfare thing that I was working on." "Yeah, Warren, that's my son" "Warren Lloyd-- he's over there." "He goes to school here." " Oh, okay." " Yeah, he's with the team." "What position does he play?" "He's in charge of the equipment... he helps the coach-- you know, that kind of thing." "So, what, are you here for the day, or..." "The weekend." "The weekend, huh?" "So, are you staying in town, or..." "The Motor Lodge." "That's great!" "Yeah..." "This is really something, isn't it?" "Jess, we gotta go." "We gotta go-- gotta go, baby." "Yeah, so..." "So, what was that guy's name?" "Lloyd." "I actually owe him a phone call." "But his son's name is Warren Lloyd." "So?" "So their first and their last name is the same?" "Lloyd." "Yeah." "What?" "Many people have the same first and last names." "Oh, yeah, many people." "He likes you." "Who likes who?" "Nobody likes anybody." "All right, come on, come on." "I love small food." "Me, too." "Baby carrots, tater tots... those little, teeny, tiny corncobs... shrimp." "So, anyway... the radio station where I work... is doing this big promotional thing on Sunday." "Like a party?" "Oh, definite party, and we're giving out free T-shirts..." " you know, get people aware." " Aware of what?" "So they'll listen to that station." "Like bribery." "Exactly." "We used to listen to the radio on the way to school... but our mom won't let us anymore." "She says it's offensive." "Oh, yeah, mainstream radio is so sickening." "The whole morning-show thing is fully out of hand." "But yet you work at a radio station." "It's pretty hypocritical, huh?" "Grace, don't let your food go to waste, okay?" "It's just miniature food." "I wish I could leave food on my plate." "It was, like, drilled into us growing up, "Never leave food on your plate"... like this ingrown habit... but we were on food stamps for a while, so it was..." "Your hair's still kind of stiff." "I have never seen you play like that." " Mom..." " I mean it." "I knew you were good, but I had no idea." "Hey, there's that guy." "What?" "Cut it out." "That old guy knows you?" " Shh, hush." " Sorry." "Don't call someone "that old guy"." "That almost-bald guy?" " Okay, very funny." " Come on, Mom, we're just, you know" "His name happens to be Lloyd." "Guess what his last name is." " Okay." " Well, go ahead, guess." "Well, hold on, give me a second." "Keep your voices down." " I'm sorry." "I shouldn't" " No, you shouldn't." "Dad, you can't just not tell us." "It's Lloyd, okay?" "Now, can we" "Wait, wait, wait-- so, his first name and his last name are Lloyd?" "Yes." "Lloyd Lloyd?" "Yes, yes, stop it." "Oh, come on, now." "He happens to be very nice." "He's so nice... they had to name him twice." "Is your wife always this happy?" "Oh, yeah, the fun never stops." "Lloyd Lloyd." "I can't believe you said that." "So... was this okay?" "No, I just ordered too many." "No, no, I mean, you know, that Tiffany" "Oh, no, it's fine." "It's fine." "Well, the bathroom's normal size." "Anyway, thanks for dinner... and if you guys want to come on Sunday..." "I can definitely get you in... so..." "Have fun at the movies, okay?" "Bye." "Bye." "Now I do have to go to the bathroom." "Excuse me." "Did room service get here yet?" " Hey, you're supposed to knock." "Is Mom up yet?" " Yeah." "Hello?" " Hi." " Hi." "I was just taking a break from my day... and I thought I would call and say hi." "Hello?" "Hi, how are you?" "Jess?" "I'm f" "I asked you to get dressed." " Room service!" " This is really a bad time, isn't it?" "That's entirely possible." "Hang on." "Sweetie, that's" " You want to get some chairs?" " Yeah." "You can't even ask me what I'm wearing, can you?" "No, that would not be feasible." "'Cause it's pretty indescribable." "That's excellent-- excellent news." "So, how's your-- how's your fast going?" "Fine." "It's going just fine." "So, is it-- is it-- is it horrible?" "Are you surviving?" "I'm sorry, what?" "I'll call you back later." "Strawberries." " Good." " Hey, what are you" "I mean..." "He's stealing my strawberries." "I mean, I--I'm sorry this was so" "No, no, no, it's-- it's fine." "I'll call you back later, okay?" "Okay." "Bye." "Look, I'm just saying she said her habit was ingrown... but that's a toenail." "A habit is inbred, right?" "No, I think a habit is ingrained." "People are inbred." "Still." "I liked her." "Because she met Jordan Knight." "No, because she asked me questions... plus her clothes." "And bragging about being on food stamps-- like she's so interesting." "She is, compared to you." "Okay, look, it's over, all right?" "!" "She went home." "It was just one dinner-- one tiny little miniature dinner out of your whole life." " But we are gonna go, right, to that party thing?" " What?" "!" "She said we should call if we want to go, and I want to go." "And extend your fingers." "Turn your toes under." "Inhale." "Lift your sitting bones and straighten your legs." "So, it's okay with my dad." "Okay." "Are we all going?" "'Cause she" "I really would rather not go." "Dad." "Look, this is temporary, this separation." "This is a phase, and people go through phases." "I was planning on calling Tiffany back... but I guess, you know, I was... was trying to be good." "Look, sweetheart, just tell her" "She wants to talk to you." "Oh, wait." "Tiffany, can you hold on a second?" "Hello?" "Oh, hi, Mom." "Give it." "Great." "Perfect." " Zoe..." " Mom, guess what." " Give me the phone!" " Zoe, give your sister the phone." "Don't forget-- Tiffany's on hold." "Mom..." "That's my brother." "He's cheering every time Eli scores." "What?" "Oh, God." "Just stop looking at him, please." "No, I mean it." "Watch." "Next time Eli scores, he'll cheer." "And what's he doing sitting over here, anyway?" "He should be sitting on his side." "Why are you watching him?" "Watch the game." "Who's looking at who?" "Could we please not talk about this?" "Please." "Nobody, honey." "It's just someone Mom knows from work." "That guy who keeps staring at her?" "He is not staring." "His firm represents the sanitation workers' union and a lot of other unions... and he's very tight with the mayor's office, and I needed to get in there... to talk about my welfare lawsuit, so I contacted him... and that is the extent of our relationship." "Did you have lunch?" "No, Rick, we did not have lunch." "You know, I don't--I don't know what you think is so amusing." "It's not." "It's not amusing." "Damn straight." "So I call his place to check on the girls..." "And there was someone on the other line named Tiffany." "Probably his accountant." "Most likely." "Why are you checking on anybody?" "What happened to that much-anticipated weekend of solitude?" "What, a mother can't call her own children?" "Of course she can." "And a mother can call her own sister and ask her over for pastrami... even though the mother's supposedly on a juice fast." "A mother can fast anytime." "Oh, the sister, too-- anytime." "You are jealous." "What?" "Of who?" "He's out of town with his ex... and you've got your knickers in a twist." "Oh !" "Okay. "A", that's not the case... and "B," that's a ridiculous expression." "Well, whatever you do, don't call him." "You think I would call him?" "I know you." "Just clean out your closet or something." "Defense!" "Defense!" "Defense!" "Defense!" "Defense!" "Defense!" "Defense!" "Defense!" "Eli!" "Come on, Eli !" "Yes!" "Dad, why isn't he getting up?" "Go, go." " Karen, is there anything I can do to help?" " Thanks." "Hey, Eli, you okay?" "Yeah... we won." "Okay, lift." "Let's see if this works better." "How's that?" "Great." "That works perfect." "Perfectly." "Look, it feels, like, a lot better." "Well, E., let's just give it some time, okay?" "I don't want you pushing yourself." "Well, it does look like the swelling's gone down." "Actually, it has." "I mean, actually, I really feel like I could play, you know, Dad?" "Well, it depends on how you feel." "But I'm telling you how I feel." "And the guy in the emergency room said... if I wrap it really good, I could-- really well, and he said it depends on what kind of a sprain it is." "Dad, I'm just saying that it feels better." "Well" "I wasn't saying that he shouldn't, you know, it just" "No, no." "I know." "I'll go get you some more ice." "Hello?" "Hello?" "Who is it?" "They hung up." "I wish we could stay here forever... and have ice and order room service... and just live here." "You mean because we're all together?" "No, no." "I just like hotels." "I canceled the snorkeling." "Why?" "Well, you said you didn't want to go." "We don't have to be together every minute." "I thought that was the whole point of coming here-- was to-- was to be together." "You don't love me anymore." "What?" "You don't love me anymore." "And you don't want to be married to me... and you should just admit it." "I'm going swimming." "Hello?" "Hold on." "Mom?" "Yeah?" "It's for you." "Hello?" "No, no, that-- no, that's okay." "That's" "Okay, give me five minutes." "Jessie..." "Jessie, what is it?" "Nothing." "Okay." "If your father asks, I--I went to the coffee shop." "Dad, who is it?" "Hi!" " Hi." " Want to watch me make a snack?" " Totally." " Come on." "Look, I need that." "I just need one part of my life... where you can't disappoint the person... you know, because they're... they're not expecting anything." "So, that book I lent you..." "Yeah, now, what book?" "The Enneagram book-- I kind of need it back." "The what-agram?" "Enneagram-- it's a psychological system... for understanding people's personalities." "It's a really good book." "Zoe, that's sharp." "Use a bagel holder." " I couldn't find it." " Oh, it's in the cabinet right there, right behind the plates." "Anyway, maybe it would-- it would be in the bedroom." "Can I check?" "I'll just take a quick look, and then I'll go." "I'll look with you." "See, here's-- here's what I think." " We got the passes" " Oh, I don't believe this." "No, no, no, no, no, just to check out, you know?" "We don't have to stay if we don't want to." "You can't even remember if you borrowed her stupid book or not" "Come on, now, that's beside the point." "But yet you're forcing us to spend all this time with her." "It's not a question of being with her." "This is something we could do on our own." " I don't think so." " Will you let me finish?" "Come on." "It could be fun." "Besides, I don't hear one positive suggestion out of you-- something you'd rather do?" "It's not like she's gonna be with us or anything." " Dad, don't act naive." " What, how is that naive?" "Because Zoe's inviting her to come with us right now." "Zoe!" "E..." "Dad, I'm sorry." "I tried, but I" "Eli..." "It hurts too much." "It's all right." "Hello?" "Mom, please come get me." "What?" "I--I really don't want to be here." "Oh, Gracie, I can't just" "Mom, please." "Have you told your father you're feeling this way?" "He won't even notice." "He's busy." "I mean... this girl is here." "You know, it just struck me... that we have a lot in common." "We both have boys... we're both lawyers... both been divorced." "I mean, if you sat down, and you had to write a list... you'd have to say, you know..." ""These two people have a lot in common."" "Of course, people can appear to have a lot in common, and yet they" "Oh, no, no, I mean, it depends on the particular" "Yeah, but I just mean that people are..." "Yeah, no, no, I know what you mean." "Yeah." "I apologize for not having returned... your last phone call." "I--I just got really swamped, I..." "Oh, yeah." "That's..." "Yeah." "I was going to ask you... if you wanted to have lunch again... or dinner... next weekend..." "Or during the week..." "or lunch." "I'm sorry, I..." "No, that's okay." "If you'd rather..." "I think you're dead wrong." "I think you're making a mistake." "That's all I'm gonna say... except that you're a very intelligent woman... so I hope you have a good reason." "Enough said." "So, how's your son?" "What did the doctor say?" "That he's lucky he didn't have a fracture." "And he's determined to play today, I..." "I know a good sports doctor if you need one." "Oh, okay." "Yeah, the mayor goes to him." "Tennis elbow." "I--I think it's really great that you're here." "It shows what a wonderful mother you are." "Lloyd, do you have my number?" "What?" "Well, I..." "Hey, how you doin'?" "He's not gonna play." "It's not possible." "I think you'd better come upstairs." "Oh, I--I was just on my way." "No, Lloyd, wait, I... wanted to give you my home number... because it's really the best way... that you can reach me." "Call me." "It was nice to meet you." "I'm sorry, I--I just" " It's..." " I had to come get you." "It's fine." "Let's just go." "Fine, fine." "No, no, it's not just fine." "It's fine for you to have somebody else, right?" "But if I even dare to..." "What are you even talking about?" " You comment, you interrupt, and you make fun of his name." " He's got a funny name." "Well, we can't all be Rick Sammler, can we... with the perfect name and the wonderful" " Come on, you were laughing." " What do you want me to do, Rick?" "Do you want me to reorganize my closet for the rest of my life?" "How dare you give me a hard time... for having a 5-minute conversation... with a man with a ridiculous name... who happens to find me-- for some ridiculous reason, attractive?" "!" "And then you put the cheese on the bagel... and the apple on the cheese... and then you zap it." "How do you get food stamps?" "You know what?" "I shouldn't have even brought up that subject." "That was dumb." "Why did you?" "Probably because I was nervous." "Why?" "Probably because I wanted you to like me." "Do you think this is weird?" "What, the cheese?" "No, that my mom came over, and she and my dad and my sister... are in the other room yelling at each other." "Not really." "Actually, you know what?" "It's a teeny bit weird... so I'm just gonna melt this for you... and then I'm gonna..." "My gosh." "Oh, that's just my dad's stack of stuff to recycle... like garbage." "Is that the book you were looking for?" "Yeah." "So, you know what?" "You just put that in the microwave on high... for three minutes... and I'll see you later, okay?" "She's gone!" "You can come out now!" " She actually left?" " Shut up!" "Look, if she's gone, Grace, then maybe I think you should stay." "Zoe!" "Maybe what?" "That doesn't change anything." "What?" "!" "What do you mean, it doesn't change anything?" "Can we not get into a whole thing?" "I'll get into anything." "If she's got a problem with me..." " just let her tell me." " Stop calling me "she"!" "I don't have a problem." "I just don't want to be here anymore." "That's a problem." "Okay, Jake, she's obviously upset." "Oh, what, so, it's up to her now?" "What if toothpaste made her upset?" "How 'bout school?" "You know, maybe she doesn't want to be there anymore." "We go home tonight anyway." "What difference does it make?" "!" "Look, I'm not gonna-- I'm not gonna beg you to stay." " Jake." " No, I'm just saying, you know, let her go... if she doesn't want to be here, you know?" "Grace..." "Honey, it..." "Zoe." "I forgot my book, so..." "I didn't want to interrupt, so I just thought that..." "Oh, my little girl." "Hey, what's going on?" "You okay?" "I understand." "I just" "I know." "I just--It's so hard to sit there and watch." "E., you can't" "Dad, I let them down." "Eli, you..." "Mom, you see what's happening." "I just want to play." "Look, I understand." "I really do." "People have been depending on you... and suddenly you can't be there... and you almost hope they won't be all right." "Part of you almost hopes... that they won't be able to go on... without you." "Of course, they do go on somehow, but... it's hard not to feel that way, right?" "Yeah." "Yeah, I think it's... it's like this whole weekend." "You had a picture of what it was gonna be like... and it turns out different." "Differently." "No, sweetie, not in this case." "And... you have to accept it." "Can you believe this?" "she just came by and-- and took them." "You see what I'm dealing with here." "No, no, don't-- don't do those." "She probably just feels rejected... or lonely or something." "I mean, seeing you with your daughters... the other night that I came by..." "I actually felt somewhat rejected... which obviously makes no sense, but" "She's the queen of the mixed message." ""I want sex, just, you know, not with you, of course." ""And, Oh, you handle the money, just don't make any decisions." ""Oh, and you can have the kids every weekend." ""I'll just come by... and I'll just remove them at a moment's notice."" "Oh, God." "See..." "Take P.J. Harvey." "Who?" "Polly Jean Harvey." "She decided to go off on her own, right?" "And, I mean, you think that was easy for the guys in her band?" "I mean, Steve Vaughn and Robert Ellis... had to feel somewhat rejected." "You know, and I'm sure that deep in their hearts... they secretly wanted her to fall on her ass." "But what does she do?" "She records "To Bring You My Love."" "It's hailed as this masterpiece-- which it is-- and there you are." "Oh, my God." "I think your daughter's a one." "A what?" "A one?" "From the Enneagram." "You obviously didn't read the book." "Ones are perfectionists and extremely critical... but inside there's a lot of" "All right, you know what?" "I think I've been pretty patient so far." "Wait, you think I alone created this situation?" "You think it's my fault they left?" "Oh, you're such an eight." "Okay, you know what?" "I think it's time" "Whoa!" "You asked me to the little dinner." "Yes." "I didn't ask you to show up here unannounced." "You have anger issues." "You know that fighting?" "It's like talking to you, or sex." "It's how you connect." "Classic eight behavior-- when in doubt, assign blame." "Well, you know what?" "Don't blame me if you're scared... to be alone with your own kids." "What?" "!" "Yeah." "I'm a six." "We pick up on people's fears." "You're not a six-- you're a nut!" "You know what?" "So what if it was unannounced?" "What do you want me to say that I don't have a friend in the next unit?" "Okay, you're right, I don't, but, you know, you didn't call me... and I missed you... which I'm terrified to even say, like, out loud... but that's my personality." "You know, if something scares me..." "I--I have to do it, like, that second." "Oh, why did you have to say that?" "I'm afraid to be with my kids." "Why didn't you want me to meet them?" "Why do you act like our relationship... has nothing to do with your life ?" "Why did you throw my book in the trash?" "Because I have your number, that's why." "A weekend's a long time." "I mean, sometimes it seems like a really long time." "Then there's this-- this pressure to make things... you know, really fun, you know?" "Like that's possible." "Half the time it just-- it seems like they don't even want to" "Jake, I shouldn't have interfered... with your time with them, no matter who was there." "It was a moment of weakness." "I was wrong." "You were?" "Yeah." "Well, it was was bound to happen sooner or later." "I guess." "It's strange... that's the only word for it." "You're standing there in your own house... that you worked two jobs to get the down payment for... and dinner's on the stove, like always... only you're not staying to dinner." "When I saw you coming up the driveway..." "I thought you were gonna scream and yell and..." "Assign blame?" "Where's Grace?" "What?" "I just don't like your girlfriend." "She's not my girlfriend." "What is she?" "I want my family back, you know?" "I just don't know if I can actually live... you know, that kind of life." "Put it this way... there's a part of me that wants to call Tiffany... right now." "You don't have to like anybody... that you don't want to like... including me." "Okay." "But you do have to stay." "You can't just leave." "Why?" "Why can some people leave and not other people?" "I don't know... but you can't." "Hey, you..." "I don't want you to worry about that girl... or any girl, okay?" "If you don't want me to worry... then why don't you just" "Why don't I just what?" "I don't know exactly what the future holds... but I do know that-- that I want you..." "Dad, it's okay." "I'm not that worried." "See you next weekend." "Hello?" "Hi." "You're there." "It's Lloyd..." "Lloyd." "Lloyd, I--I don't know any other Lloyds." "Yeah, I..." "How's your son doing?" "Oh, well, you know, I mean, he's" "Listen, I was wondering... why you gave me your number." "Was it because your ex-husband-- was it for his benefit, or... did you change your mind?" "Hello?" "I've changed my mind." "Yeah."