"Good." "All right, now, accelerate just a little bit." "How am I doing, Daddy?" "Fine." "Just put your pinkies down." "(thudding)" "Oh, my God, you hit a cyclist!" "What should I do, Daddy?" "Drive!" "Drive!" "Drive!" "Pinkies!" "Five-O, Five-O!" "(siren blaring)" "Faster, Junior!" "(tires squealing)" "(siren blaring, tires squealing)" "I can't shake him!" "(groans)" "You're hit!" "No." "He's hit." "(tires screeching)" "Look out for that tree!" "(tires squeal, thudding)" "(rhythmic buzzer sounding)" "So, this is what your dad does every day." "Wow, being a cable installer is stressful." "No wonder you're always drunk." "(funky disco plays) ♪ My name is Cleveland Brown ♪" "♪ And I am proud to be ♪" "♪ Right back in my hometown ♪" "♪ With my new family ♪" "♪ There's old friends and new friends ♪" "♪ And even a bear ♪" "♪ Through good times and bad times ♪" "♪ It's true love we share ♪" "♪ And so I found a place ♪" "♪ Where everyone will know ♪" "♪ My happy mustached face ♪" "♪ This is The Cleveland Show. ♪" "== Sync, corrected by elderman == (chuckles)" "The Cleveland Show 2x10 Ain't Nothin' But Mutton Bustin Original Air Date on January 9, 2011" "Now, Junior, Take Your Kid To Work Day is a chance for fathers to pass on their trade to their kids." "Like Archie Manning did with his loaf-of-bread-faced sons." "These are our cable access studios, where people no one would ever listen to produce shows no one will ever watch." "ANNOUNCER:" "You're watching Things I Hate!" "with Freight Train Brown." "You know what I hate?" "The Chinese." "This has been Things I Hate with Freight Train Brown." "I love Take Your Kid To Work Day." "It's basically just a paid day off." "ARCH:" "No, it's not." "If it's a day off, why are we here?" "I didn't mean it." "It was just a joke." "Thought jokes were supposed to be funny." "Are you laughing, Keith?" "No." "Keith's not laughing." "Do you ever laugh, Keith?" "Only get four laughs a week." "Not gonna waste one on that." "Oh, there's Terry." "Let's go see Terry." "No." "I wasn't talking to you, Arch." "Then why were you looking in my direction?" "Oh, God, he's roping me back in." "Run, Junior, run!" "Hey, Terry." "Boy, this must be a difficult day for you, seeing as you've never had the good fortune to have kids of your own." "Man, you know I ain't the fathering type." "(woman clears her throat)" "Hey, Darlene." "Who's the little guy?" "My name's Terry." "Mine, too!" "(both Terrys laugh)" "What does this switch do?" "I don't know." "(switch clacks)" "(whirring)" "(sad music plays on TV)" "(static, upbeat rock music plays)" "Well, there goes the rest of my day." "(volume increases on TV)" "(clock ticking)" "Can't believe I'm the only kid whose parent didn't take him to work." "(drilling)" "I forgave Cleveland the time he forgot me in the car at Cheese E. Charlie's." "I forgave him the time he forgot my flight from Dallas was coming in, and I had to take a $75 Super Shuttle home." "You should have called me, Rallo." "I would have picked you up for $50." "I would have spent the day with my real father, but after what happened last year, my mom wouldn't let me." "(yelling)" "(gasping)" "Yaah!" "Good job, Rallo." "Let's dance." "♪ ♪" "So, how was your day, Junior?" "It was a dream." "Did Rallo have fun today, too?" "How would I know?" "I haven't seen the kid all day." "I know." "Mrs. Lowenstein drove him home from school." "Cost me 50 bucks." "All because someone forgot to take him to work today." "It's okay." "Don't be so hard on yourself." "One day this parenting thing is all gonna click into place." "If it were easy, it would be called soccer." "Cleveland, you promised at dinner yesterday that you'd take Rallo to work with you." "Remember, it was ham night?" "(guttural eating sounds)" "Cleveland, do not forget to take Junior and Rallo to Take Your Kid To Work Day tomorrow." "Huh?" "Yeah, okay." "Yeah." "Mmm." "Uh." "Ham." "(guttural eating sounds)" "No!" "My ham!" "My ham!" "(guttural eating sounds)" "(growling)" "He's your son." "Why didn't you take him to work with you?" "Because I thought this would be a perfect opportunity for the two of you to bond." "Rallo needs two parents." "What if something happened to me?" "Heavens, Donna, don't say that!" "I don't know what I'd do!" "Wait a minute." "I'd marry the gal at the grocery store!" "What's that?" "I said, I'd marry the gal at the grocery store." "You know, Big-Boob June." "You probably know her as June." "I need you to spend some time with Rallo." "Well, on Saturday," "Big-Boob June and I are running a 5K for..." "Just you and Rallo!" "Alone!" "But Rallo's boobs are tiny!" "Rallo, your mother says you and I should really get to know each other." "What do you say?" "No." "See?" "!" "He doesn't want to, either!" "Out!" "(groaning)" "Sorry, Junior." "It's just me and Rallo today." "Force field!" "(grunts)" "I want to go with you." "Turn it off!" "Turn it off!" "Oh, man." "Where am I gonna find a wizard on a Saturday?" "What in the world is this place?" "It's called a record store." "It's where insufferable people come to find obscure music no one likes." "Where do they keep the mp3s?" "Mp3s?" "!" "Rallo, LPs offer a full, warm sound you just can't get digitally." "(music plays, record squeaks)" "(record skipping)" "Hmm." "Take me back." "(bowling pins clinking)" "Hibachi!" "Ah, the heck with this, man." "What?" "!" "(yelling)" "Look, let's just bag this, tell Mama we bonded, and silently resent each other for the rest of our lives." "Hey, look." "A fair!" "Can we go?" "!" "Paying five dollars to throw darts at a balloon for a Def Leppard cocaine mirror?" "Well, maybe that could be fun." "(children screaming)" "Step right up and win a cheap, unlicensed knock-off toy!" "Brett Simpson!" "Spider Buddy!" "And Family Dude's Stevie!" "STEVIE:" "I'm gay...!" "A petting zoo!" "I'd like to go poke a comatose goat." "Excuse me, sir." "How much will it cost for the boy to pet the animals?" "Petting?" "No, these sheep are for mutton bustin'." "All righty, then." "Come on, Rallo." "Let's go so this nice man can rape his livestock in peace." "(laughing)" "Don't worry." "We leave the lamb-lovin' to the Amish, partner." "I'm Tuff Hogland, and that there's mutton bustin'." "(cheering)" "(crying)" "Can I give it a try?" "I don't care." "Let her rip!" "Aah!" "(crowd cheering)" "(cheering) That your boy?" "(cheering)" "Yes, sir, that's my son." "That was a championship ride, partner." "Hey, and I was just looking to replace this, too." "Your boy's a natural athlete." "Got any more like him at home?" "(phone chirps)" "No." "God, no." "...And the man, who you'll remember is covered in his grandmother's poop, replies..." "The Aristocrats!" "(both laughing)" "Oh, man!" "I thought the act would have a much less sophisticated name." "Mama, this man's funny." "He's like what Bill Cosby must have been like before he started hating black people." "Daddy's home!" "Daddy's home!" "Daddy's home!" "Look what I won mutton busting." "Mutton busting?" "I thought the same thing, but it's pretty much just kids peeing their pants while riding terrified sheep that smell like sheep and kid pee." "I want to do that!" "Sorry, but you're too old." "Oh!" "Let me finish." "And fat." "You're too old and fat to mutton bust." "I tell you, our boy here was born to straddle a farm animal." "Our boy?" "Well, I'm glad you two bonded, but that sounds dangerous." "After giving this a moment's thought," "I don't want Rallo doing it anymore." "CLEVELAND  RALLO:" "Ain't nothin' but mutton bustin'." "I said no!" "Oh, this is more depressing than being a programming executive at AMC." "ANNOUNCER:" "Coming up next, an all new Mad Men." "Followed by a special encore presentation of Mad Men." "Then, a Mad Men marathon, featuring hours of before-seen footage." "And later tonight, an all-new series" "Mad Men." "We're AMC." "Ooh, Mad Men's on!" "Mutton Busting." "Sport of kings, C-Bro." "Check it." "Virginia State Champion, Peewee Division." "'98 through aught-six." "Well, even sadder than that, Donna won't let us go anymore." "She thinks it's too dangerous." "Dangerous?" "What, the sheep's like, what, eight... eight inches off the ground?" "You're right." "If I weren't so afraid of Donna," "I'd march right up to her and tell her a little danger's good for kids." "Who says you need to tell her?" "She's the one who wanted you two to bond, right?" "Here's how you bond." "Have a secret you're both keeping from his mother." "Like my dad did when he told me about his second family a couple counties over." "I never felt closer to him." "Plus, that's how I met Kendra!" "Oh." "(sheep bleating)" "Well, dip my nads in cream and lock me in a room full of kittens." "Look who's back!" "(laughs)" "I just knew by your weathered hands and super smelly breath that you'd be good for a funny saying or two." "(bleats)" "(laughs)" "Aww." "He remembers you." "Aww." "Yeah." "You're a good boy." "I'm gonna name you Barnaby." "And I'm gonna name you Jeffrey." "Jeffrey?" "Yeah, I like that." "You ready to ride?" "I was born ready, Jeff." "It's Jeffrey." "♪ ♪" "(ringing)" "(crowd cheering)" "(tires squealing)" "(horn honks)" "(cheering)" "(cheering)" "(tapping)" "(cheering)" "Well, we're off for another day of father-son bonding." "Again?" "Where you guys headed?" "We're going to see a staged version of Roots as performed by the band The Roots." "Roots' Roots?" "Can I come?" "No!" "You little weirdo." "Have fun." "Okay." "I may be weird, but I'm not stupid." "Or am I?" "I'm gonna get to the bottom of this." "♪ ♪" "Rallo, you are mutton busted." "The next sheep you ride is gonna buck you up." "(maniacal laughter)" "(laughter morphs into escalating bleating)" "(bleating)" "("First Call" playing)" "Hey guys, keep on-- keep on the lookout for Borat." "He comes to stuff like this and, uh... and makes everybody look stupid." "Hey!" "That's Cleveland Brown!" "His boy's the champ!" "And there's the bear that walks among us." "Here comes Rallo!" "Yay!" "This is it, boy." "What do you say once we win this championship, we retire on top, like The Simpsons?" "Shoot, there's no retirement for these little guys." "They're agricultural sheep on loan." "Well, what happens to them?" "We murder 'em." "Combo of them getting too slow and us getting too hungry." "(laughs)" "Like Penelope or Lady Suzette here." "See their cute, cuddly little faces?" "Well, we're fixing to smash 'em in with a mallet." "Aw, now don't you look sad, or we'll bash your face in, too." "(laughs)" "Just kidding." "But not about your sheep." "We definitely will kill him." "Have a good ride, cowboy!" "(flies buzzing)" "Ugh, this place is so stinky and gross." "And it's so hot in this costume." "I can barely breathe." "(groans)" "Getting light-headed." "Can't even... finish this... funnel cake." "ANNOUNCER:" "And your next rider is Rallo Tubbs!" "(crowd cheering)" "I can't let them do that to you, Barnaby." "I won't let them turn you into gyros and condoms." "(bell rings)" "(cheering)" "Yee-haw!" "Don't worry." "He's on a sheep." "How far can he possibly go?" "(whistle blows)" "(bell ringing)" "Bye-bye." "Who wants ice cream?" "!" "Ice cream?" "Oh, my God, Cleveland, what did you do?" "!" "What makes you think I did anything?" "Now, we've got vanilla, chocolate," "Rallo's missing, cookie dough..." "Rallo's missing?" "!" "How could you lose him?" "You guys were just taking father-son notary classes." "Well, that's the thing right there." "We weren't notary-ing." "We were mutton busting." "And his mutton busted loose." "Hopped a train." "Hopped a train?" "!" "I don't know mutton busting lingo." "What does that mean?" "!" "Little Mr. Rallo?" "He gone." "My baby!" "Donna, I don't want to play the blame game, but this is your fault." "You never should have left me alone with him." "But I forgive you." "The police are on it, and I will not rest until our family is back together." "Wait, why is this ice cream still here?" "Where's Junior?" "!" "Hello, police?" "Hey." "Uh, Cleveland Brown here." "We spoke earlier about the missing boy." "See the funny thing is..." "We also have another kid missing." "(laughs)" "Yes, I realize how serious this is." "Thank you, Officer." "Hmm." "So, did you remember to record Mike and Molly?" "(snoring, crashing)" "(groans)" "Waking up on a toilet again." "I got to take a long, hard look at myself, 'cause this is not living." "But first, revenge." "What magical place is this?" "Why, 'tis 17th century Scotland, enchanted lamb child." "17th century Scotland?" "Oh, my God, that gross Porta Potti's a time machine!" "I have to warn them about the future." "Don't have sex with Magic Johnson!" "You'll find out why!" "(Rallo imitates hoofbeats thudding)" "Seems like this place'd be sheep friendly." "Hi, what can I get you?" "Apple juice, neat." "Leave the bottle." "(exhales)" "Lot on your mind?" "Just looking for a good home for my sheep." "Oh, you mean the one that just got hit by a car in the parking lot?" "What?" "!" "He just ran out in front of me!" "Barnaby!" "(sheep bleats)" "Oh, thank God." "(sheep bleats, tires squeal)" "(whistling through air, crashes)" "(gun cocking)" "(bleats)" "We got to get out of this town." "(Barnaby bleats)" "(siren wails, indistinct radio transmission)" "You know, C-cup, it's not the end of the world." "The good thing about kids is, you can always make more." "Thank you, Father." "Well, I used all my psychic powers, but I couldn't feel any dead children." "Donna, I know we've had our differences in the past..." "Mrs. Brown, don't worry." "We're doing everything we can, and we will find your son." "Now, do you have one of Rallo's T-shirts that I could let the cadaver dog sniff?" "What's his name?" "Corpsey." "Oh..." "Give me a kiss, Corpsey." "Oh, you're cute." "Yes, you are." "Please be in Star Wars times." "Please be in Star Wars times." "Ideally before the disbanding of the Galactic Senate." "Please!" "CLEVELAND JR.:" "Hippies?" "I must be in the 1960s where there's no structure or schedules." "Help!" "Barnaby, slow down." "That's not a real sheep." "They don't get that fat." "Junior?" "Rallo!" "How did you end up here in the 1960s?" "Do you have a time-traveling Porta Potti, too?" "Even if you weren't dressed in a sheep costume," "I wouldn't know how to respond to that." "This ain't the 60s." "This is just some dirty hippy festival." "Yeah, that does make more sense." "I think my rational side might have known that the whole time." "Maybe we should just go home." "Hop on." "Thanks, man." "But what am I gonna do with Barnaby?" "I think Barnaby will be just fine." "(Rallo imitates hoofbeats thudding)" "(Cleveland Jr. hums "Happy Trails")" "Please, dear Jesus, lead these children home." "Hey." "Let me finish." "Rallo!" "Junior!" "Thank God you're home!" "Oh, we were so worried." "Oh, Junior." "You being gone made me realize something." "You're my son, and I love you." "I'm sorry for lying to you, Mama." "I'll never do it again." "It's okay." "I'm just happy to have our kids home safe and sound." "Let's go buy a ham to celebrate!" "I'm home!" "Anybody have $50 to pay Mrs. Lowenstein?" "Oh, yeah." "Three." "We have three children." "(all laughing, horn honks twice)" "== Sync, corrected by elderman =="