"[Moaning]" " How's he doin'?" " Hundred and four and a half." " Oh, great." " It's gone up?" "A hundredfouranda half?" " And that's not the worst of it." " Uncle Yusef, don't go out tonight." "It's dangerous." "They know you stole the melons." "Poor fella." "That fever's got him crazy." "What doyou think's causing it?" "Well, he complained of lower right abdominal pain." "With a little nausea, I'd say appendicitis." "He had some right back pain too." "Maybe it's his kidneys." " Uncle, beware ofsomeone in a hat." " That's always good advice." "Uncle." "Listen." "The grandmother." "She knows." "She read your future in the dust balls under the bed." "Someday I've got to meet his family." "I got the lab reports." "What is this?" "You're all on this case?" "Well, he's our puppy too." "What'd you find out?" "Ah, his white count is up, red count is low." "He's got pus in his urine." "gotta be a kidney infection with gram-negative sepsis." "[Man On P.A.]Sorry, folks." "This afternoon is temporarilypostponed." " Wounded in the compound." " grandmother, you put a curse on my turnip." "get some blood cultures, and do an I.V.P." "See if there's any obstruction in his urinay tract." "He'd be all right ifyou hadn't cursed his turnip." "We've got enough casualties here." "What the hell kind of driving was that?" "This guywas almost dead when we left." "Theytold me everysecond counts." "Is he all right?" "Will he be okay?" " He just never had a chance." "There's too much damage." " Aw." "Damn!" "This man can make it, but we gotta get him right into O.R. Corpsman." "Put him down over there by the wall." "Colonel Potter, I'd like to help in triage, sir." "I'm a little shaky, but while I have any strength at all..." "I'd like to pitch in." "Okay!" "Let's get this patient into pre-op!" "Hubba-hubba!" " Orderly!" " goldman, get him someplace where he won't hurt himself." "[B.J.] Klinger, go lie down." " get him out ofhere." "He might be infectious." " It's a kidney problem." "Let's be safe. get him over there against the wall." "I need an orderly." "get this guy out ofhere." "I need an orderly." "get this guy out ofhere." "[B.J.] These legs are damaged, but not too bad." "Give him something forpain, and he can wait." " Get him out ofhere." " How is he, Father?" "Can I help?" "There's nothing we can do, Klinger." "Private Weston is dead." "Aw." "A mouse has four paws." "Yes." " But he doesn't wear a belt." " Please." "I" "I'm going to administer the last rites." "Hey." "Hey." "Hey!" "Areyou sure I'm dead?" "'Cause I don't feel dead." "Hey." "You gotta talk to him, will ya?" "I don't think I'm dead." "I mean it!" "Look at him." "He" " He's gonna give me last rites." "They're gonna put me in a bag, stick me in a truck, and that's gonna be it." "And I do not feel dead." "Can'tyou do somethin' about it?" "What can I do?" "Dead is dead, right?" "Right, Father?" "Just give me a minute now, Klinger." "I" " I have to concentrate." "Am I dead orwhat?" "I don't want to die." "Who wants to die?" "I don't want to die." "You're not going to die." "Now please." "I didn't bring the subject up." "Weston did." " Weston is dead." " Don't tell me." "Tell him." "♪♪ [ Humming ]" "Wait." "Wait a minute." "Wait a second." "Will you useyour own hook?" " I got no place to hang my clothes." " First ofall, this is my hook." "Secondly, it is not a hook." "It is a nail." "Thirdly, your shirt could stand up by itself." "I've been using that hook since long beforeyou got here, bub." "You may have used it-you may indeed have some unnatural attachment to it- but the fact remains that is my hook." "See?" "My name." "My hook." "And this is a nail." " Why don'tyou hang your stuff down here somewhere?" "Okay?" " What?" "I do not want my name down there." "I want it here." "What difference does it make?" "Because the boards at that end ofthe bench are uneven, and they pinch my bottom." " Does that satisfyyour morbid curiosity?" " Okay." "Okay." "That does it." " That's fine." "Fine." "I'm giving you a new hook." " Nail!" " This is a nail." "It's not a hook." " go pinch your bottom." "Rave on, Macduff." "[ Chuckles ] Rave on." "Sir, am I dead?" " [HammerBangs ]" " Hammer away, you pathetic fool." "Look." "Really." "I don't feel dead." "There's just gotta be a mistake." "Although I must say, for my taste, the entertainment value offools is vastly overrat" "What have you done to my shirt?" " You're right." "It is a nail." " My shirt!" "You imbecile!" "You sub-moronic cretinous idiot!" "My shirt!" " Hey." "Fellas." " No, no, no!" "Ow!" "god!" "No, no!" "No, no!" "These are folded wrong!" "I should be able to pick it up with two fingers and pop it open." "These'll take three, maybe four fingers." "Margaret, would you mind ranting someplace else?" "I've got a dramatic scene coming up in O.R., and I want to get in the mood." "And I'd like to do some nursing." "Next time, see that they're folded properly." "Look at this!" "Look at this!" "Seven fingers!" "When my company commander strapped me onto the jeep... he- he said that I would be all right." "And he never lies to us." "You're pretty particular about the way..." "you're handed instruments in O.R., though, aren'tyou?" " Let's just drop it." "Okay?" "He never lies." "And we respect him for that." "I've watched you in the Mess Tent too." "You have a special fork." " I have a what?" " A special fork." "I've seen you pick through all the forks, looking for one with long, thin tines." "I've seen you keep 1 5 people waiting on line, looking foryour special stupid fork!" "It so happens I can't pick up food with a blunt instrument." "Two fingers." "You know, I was in a lot of pain before." "I couldn't even turn my head." "But look at me." "I'm walkin' around." "I'm talkin'." "I think there's been a mistake." " [ Chattering ] - [ Potter] Almost done here." " Rake retractor." " Rake retractor." "Oh, I like that." "Long thin tines." "[ Hawkeye ] Where's all that blood coming from?" " You better run the bowel again." "I might have missed something." " [ Charles ] Right." "Colonel, as soon as you're free, we need you over here." "[Potter] On myway." "Hicks." "Hicks, what- what happened to you?" "Last time I saw you, you were making jokes about your C-rations." "You were-You were sitting on that log and laughing like a hyena." "Okay." "I'm free." "Now, what can I do to helpyou folks?" " Help me clamp offthese bleeders." " A mortar shell, wasn't it?" "There." "Another perforation." "They're hard to find, but they're there." "I must have run the bowel too fast." "I was worried about the chest." " Don't wory." "I got it." " go get 'em, Doc." "Listen to me, Hicks." "You got four people workin' on you." "You know what they're doing?" "They're looking for those C-rations you ate." "Now, how many times did I tell you not to eat that stuff?" "One wallet, brown." "One wallet, brown." " Any money in it?" " Yeah." "Wait a sec." "Mymothergave me that wallet before I went away." "It's genuine calfskin." "It used to be stamped in gold there, but... with all the heat and sweat and eveything... the letters just wore off." "It smelled great the day I got it." " I love the smell ofleather." " 23.60." "23.60." "One picture." "Look at that sweet fresh face." "One picture." "That's Sarah Lee Pinter." "I can still taste her kiss from when we said good-bye." "Did you have sweethearts when you were in school, Father?" "Yes, I did, actually." "In fact, when I was 1 2, I was a champion at spin the bottle." " Oh!" " No matterwhere Patricia Dugan sat..." "I could always put just the right English on that bottle to make it point right to her." " [ Chuckles ]" " She has six children now." "I wonder ifl put ideas into her head when she was 1 2." "I remember school so well." "It's only 200 years ago." " One ring." " One ring." "Boy, that brings back a lot of memories." "That's my high school ring." "I never take it off." "What's it doing in that box?" "Weston." "What doyou say I buyyou a beer, Father?" "Yes." "I think so." "Thankyou." " My god." " [DoorCloses ]" "I think I'm dead." " [ Screams ] I'm not here!" "I'm someplace else!" " Easy." " I'm not here!" "I can't find my fingers!" " Shh!" " My hands are coming off!" "." "I can't find my fingers!" " All right." " We've gotta get his temperature down." " [ Groaning]" "Excuse me." "There are people in here recovering from surgey." "How do we know he won't infect them?" "Relax." "Here's his ticket of admission." " What is that?" " Kidney stone." "Passed it about an hour ago." "His blood culture shows gram-negative rods." "He's not contagious." " And I want him here with the nurses." " Quite a stone." "Practically Mount Rushmore." "It's got the faces ofthree Lebanese presidents on it." " Here we go." "All right, Klinger." "We're home." " Hmm?" " Here we go." "Up." " Oh." "Hi, Captain." " Hi." " I'm glad to see you." " I'm glad to be seen byyou." "How you doin'?" " Oh, great." "Wonderful." " What areyou doing in Miami?" " Wonderful." "Some weather down here, huh?" "I'm glad I brought my trunks." "Start him on streptomycin." "One gram evey 1 2 hours." "Push the fluids, and keep him offthe beach." "Howyou feeling, son?" " Hurts like hell, sir." " Well, that's understandable... considering the number of people whowaltzed through your insides." "Sir, is Weston okay?" "Weston." "I'd have to check our records." "I didn't work on him." "Colonel." "Was he the boy you worked on, Father?" "I'm sory, son." "He didn't make it." "I thought he would." "I was sure he would." "I'm sory." "Maybe I shouldn't have told you... but I think it's onlyworse later ifyou don't hear the truth." "Oh, god." "Doyou know howyoung he was?" "How can that happen?" "I know it's hard, son, but don't let it getyou down." "You need all your strength right now." "You know how many bad guys there are in the world?" "Guys whoejust wanna get drunk and fight." "I seen a guy steal a watch off a dead man." "And Weston's the one to go." ""Whythen do the wicked live?" "Whyare they advanced andstrengthened with riches?" "'"" "Pardon me, Father?" "That was Job's question to god." "How can the wicked flourish when the good are allowed to die?" " And do you know what the answerwas?" " No." "god spoke toJob out of a whirlwind, and he said..." ""Where wast thou when I laid the foundations ofthe Earth?" "Did you create the whales or the wild goats?"" "The answer is in the vastness and grandeur ofthe universe, not in bitterness." "It's too easy to despair, Frank." "I'm sory, Father." "I know I shouldn't feel this way." "I just don't think there's any point to it all ifthey can take a guy like Weston." "Look." "I'm gone." "Okay?" "Just let me go." "Don't wasteyour strength." " I can't believe he's dead." " Hicks." "It's over." "Useyour sense ofhumor." "Talk about what a jerk I was sometimes." "Laugh at me." "I can't believe it." "Wh-What the hell's the matterwith this guy?" "I mean, he's tearing himselfapart." "Well, look." "What doyou expect?" "How would you feel ifyou lostyour best friend?" " Klinger, hush." " One second, Colonel." "Look, Weston." "Be reasonable." "I don't know howyou feel being dead... but it scares the daylights out of the rest of us." "Klinger, I'm gonna talk to you like a father." "Shut your trap." "Colonel Potter, hi." "Listen." "I'm vey thirsty." "Could I have a glass ofwater?" "Yeah." "Sure." "I'll getyou one." "One last thought, Frank, and then I'll letyou rest." "Would Weston have given up ifyou had died?" "[ Slurps ]" "[Weston ] Okay." "I know I'm dead." "I didn't think I was at first, but now I" " I know I am." "And I'll tell you something." "It's not that bad." "But I'm worried about my folks." "And I'd really appreciate it..." " ifyou'd just let 'em know that it's all right." " [ Slurps ]" "You hearwhat I'm sayin'?" "It's not that bad." "Look." "Ifyou could just, you know, send 'em a little note." "[ Slurps ]" "Aw, geez." "[ groaning ]" "Klingerhas been on antibiotics for eight hours." "Not only has his temperature not gone down, it's gone up a degree?" "It takes time to break." "He'll be all right." "All right?" "The man's burning to a crisp." "Okay.Just to be sure, we'll start him on sulfadiazine." "Instead oflooking for another medication, you ought to be looking for another cause." "I thinkwe should bring his bodytemperature down, no matterwhat." "Excuse me." "Moment." "My point is thatyour diagnosis may be correct..." " but then again, so may mine." " Oh." "Just a moment." "Let's give the antibiotics time to work." " In the meantime, we could bring his body temperature down" " Time to work?" "The man is fying like a piece ofbacon." "By the time the medication works... they're gonna be serving him in the Mess Tent as a club sandwich." " I'm tying to say" " Why don'tyou boys run a few more tests?" " Cold packs is what I'm tying to talk about." " Wait." "What's the discussion?" "I thought he passed a kidney stone." " He did." "His temperature went up." " I thinkwe ought to run another culture." " That's what I think." " That's becauseyou both have stones in your brains." " Oh, that makes sense." " [ Arguing ]" " Excuse me." "One minute." " [ Arguing ]" "[ Screams ]" "Stupid... insensitive jackasses!" "I'm tying to do something practical... and all they can do is stand around and arguewith each other... as ifl don't exist." " They didn't hear a word I said." " I know howyou feel." "What am I doing here ifl can't help?" "What am I putting upwith the rats for?" "The lice?" "The dysentey?" "I used to wonder what I'd miss the most when I was dead." "Runnin' down a basketball court." "Makin' out with girls." "Or even smelling the honeysuckle that grows over our mailbox." "I never guessed it would be just... having somebody understand what it is you're saying." "There's only one guy in this place who hears me, and nobody listens to him." "[ Chuckles ] I'm not putting up with this." "Maybe there are just some things you can't do anything about." "Maybe that's what being dead is." "I'm gonna keep on talking until somebody listens." "And ifl have to..." "I'll kick a few cans in there." "go get 'em, slugger." "Yours vey sincerely..." " Franklin Hicks." " It's not too lighthearted, is it?" " I think it's fine." "You want to hear it back?" " Yeah." "Okay." ""Dear Mr. and Mrs. Weston..." ""I'm Franklin Hicks thatJimmy has written you about." ""I feel I knowyou from Jimmy's description ofyou..." ""so that's why I'm writing you this letter, although I wish I didn't have to." ""YesterdayJimmy and I were both wounded vey badly." ""The medics got there right away..." ""and they did eveything they could forJimmy..." ""but I'm sory, Mr. and Mrs. Weston..." " theyjust couldn't save him."" " Maybe I could have said that part better." "I've written a lot ofthese letters, son." "There's no good way to say it." ""But I wantyou to know it was vey sudden, and he felt no pain." ""It's vey difficult to writeyou about this..." ""but I had to because of how much Jimmy loved you..." ""and how much I loved Jimmy." ""He used to read the comic page to me and make up funnyvoices for all the characters." ""Aftera while it wouldhave us both in stitches." ""And then when we'd be on patrol, and he'dsee I was getting scared..." ""he'd start talking in one ofthose voices..." ""and it would really lift our spirits." ""I think that's one of the greatest gifts anyone could have." ""I know how terrible this must be foryou..." ""but I wantyou to know thatyou have my deepest sympathies." "Yours vey si ncerely, Frankl i n H icks."" "I hope I 'm doing the right thing sending them this." "I think it's one hell of a good letter, and it's vey decent ofyou to do this." "I'll get this out first thing in the morning." "You have a good night's sleep, Hicks." "Thankyou, sir." "Father... thanks for what you said." "Well, it was mostly from the Bible." "I have a good writer." " [ Chuckles ]" " What's his temperature?" " 1 01." "It's coming down." " Oh, thank god." "I was getting worried about him." " Well, those ice packs were just the trick." " Thankyou, Colonel." "You know, our problem was we were so busy arguing about what caused it... we never got around to the obvious solution." " Yes." "I saw that." " Well, why didn'tyou say something?" "Why did I" " Did- Areyou" " Did you" " All right." "What else do we love?" " Doyou love dirt?" " Dirt is my life." " All right." "To dirt." "And to the army- that lets us eat it, drink it, breathe it and salute it." "[ Murmurs ]" " Now what?" " Rats are nice." "Some of my best friends." "And not just to their cute little bucktooth grins and pointy little ears." "But to their charming little fleas... without whom we would not live in the shadow ofthe plague." "Ah!" "The plague." "I will drink to that." "Areyou gentlemen aware ofwhat historically caused the great plagues of Europe?" " Areyou historically aware ofthat?" " Not historically." "No." " War." " Oh." "Really?" "[ Mumbles ] See, one citywould attack another..." " and they'd burn their buildings" " Mm-hmm." "and the rats would scury" " Cute little guys." " spr- [ Chuckles ] spreading their plague-bearing fleas throughout the population." "Towar... the fountain ofall loveliness." " What doyou think?" " [ Mumbles ]" " I don't know." "Ty me out." " Clamp." "Nah." "I can still feel it." " [ Mumbles ] - [ Mumbles ] No." "Yeah." "Me too." "I'm having trouble seeing you." "I'm having trouble seeing you." "You all look funny, likeyou're made up oflittle dots." "Something's happening to me... and I don't understand it." "To shrapnel... and the skittish little dance it does inside their bodies." "To the blood that drips into our boots." "And stains our socks with gay magenta polka dots." "I can hardly hearyou now." "You're all fading." " To butchey." " Mayhem." "Bestiality of evey shape and kind." "I feel like I've- I have to go someplace... but I don't know where it is." "gentlemen..." "I'm going to my bunk to lie down." "But first" " To Charles." " To Charles." "[Woman's Voice ] I can't believe it." "We hadchicken again." " I'm getting to hate chicken." " [ Woman #2 ] I broke a fingernail again today." "Just makes me crazy when I do that." "[ Man 's Voice ] No, no." "It's not a police action." "It's a struggle between the free world and" "[ Man #2 ] Ah, forget it." "The Giants are nowhere." "They got no hitters, no pitchers." "Nothing." "[ Man #3 ] I don 't love her anymore." "It's all over between us." "[ Man ] Hey." "Over here." "Hey." "Come on." "I t's this way." " Where do we go?" " Down there." "Come on." " What did you think it would be like?" " I didn't know." " Where are we goin'?" " I don't know." " Hiya, Major." " Klinger!" " Oh, great!" "How are you feeling?" " I'm hungy." " That's a good sign." " Hey, kiddo." "We keptyour room just the wayyou left it." " Pierce, who's on call tonight?" " B.J.'s on tonight." "Uh-uh." "Oh, no, no." "I was on call last night and the night before." " Hey." "Lookwho's back." "Howyou doin', Klinger?" " Hi, Captain." "Listen." "What happened to Weston?" " Who?" " Wait." "I have to know." " Who's on call tonight?" " I told you." "B.J." " I told you I've been on two nights in a row." " Look" "Captain, what happened to him?" "Did he get what he wanted?" "Is he all right?" " Who?" " What areyou talking about?" "Weston!" "Are his folks okay?" "Where is he?" "Is he gone?" "Klinger, please." "We've got more important things to wory about." " I have to know." " [Hawkeye ] I'm tellingyou." "B.J. is on." " [B.J. ] No, no." " [Margaret ] Wereyou really on call two nights in a row?"