"ALL THE BOYS ARE CALLED PATRICK" "Today. I'll buy a tartan skirt and coat." "These dark glasses look good on me." "I'm here." "Casanova." "Oh. blast!" "What time is it." "Charlotte?" " What time is it?" " Ten past nine." "Ciao. I must run." " Are you buying a new coat?" " Yes. and a beret." "Meet you in the park?" "I'll be there between two and three." "Oh!" "I nearly dropped it." "Don't hold it so close to your face." "You have pretty eyes and you'll damage them." "I'll loan you my dark glasses." "They'll look smashing on you." "I'll buy you a drink." "Let's go sit under the trees." "Will you come?" "You know who first planted trees in Paris?" "It was Henri Iv." "Shall we go?" "Come on!" "That looks interesting." "English!" "I thought you were French." "Do you speak English?" "Swedish..." "Jag al skar dig." "which means I love you." "Not very subtle but that's all I know." "Norwegian." "Finnish..." "German. yes..." "Deutschen sie sprach?" "No. not Spanish..." "Japanese..." "Mizoguschi Kurosawa..." "You're not Japanese?" "You're laughing." "She's ignoring me." "You think I'm boring." "I suppose you're right." "What do you expect?" "I'm talking to myself." "You should wear blue." "Green doesn't suit you." "I bet you're waiting for your boyfriend." "You should never wait for a boy." "Teach him a lesson." "is he nice?" "He must be since he loves you." "I bet he has a Mercedes 300 SL." "Know how that car got its name?" "In 191 3. the factory went bankrupt and a man came and said to them." ""Put my daughter's name on the bonnet and I'll pay you."" "So. what other interesting things can I tell you?" "And you?" "Do you love this boy?" "What's he like?" "Do I look like him?" "You're afraid he'll be jealous." "Make him jealous." "Seeing us is the best thing he could do." "Be mean to the boys." "Teach them a lesson." "What if I was waiting for a girl?" "There's no reason to be ashamed." "it's great to be in love." "He'll come." "He's probably looking for parking." "For goodness sake!" "I told you it's a girl." "But she's not coming. so I'm going." " Why are you leaving?" " Because." " Let's have a drink!" " l'm busy." "All girls say that." "Come on!" "Fine. if you insist." "Five minutes." "I'm really in a hurry." "Not bad!" "You're very talented." "Girls always get Grenadine." "It's snobbish." " Do you attend the Sorbonne?" " First year. yes. and you?" "I'm doing law." " Sounds boring." " Oh no. I love it." " You want to be a lawyer?" " Well. I think so." "ocaa h soo you khow how to aa rguo aa ocaaso" "Honestly. I haven't approached a girl for a whole month." "A month isn't a long time." " l'm very shy." " Oh yeah. you seem it." "I'm coming over there." "You're a funny girl." "Cigarette?" "Thank you." "Wait. I have a light." "What year are you?" " Almost finished." " My friend is doing law." "Oh. that's funny." " What?" " l don't know." "Wait a sec... here." "Oh. these French matches." " You live nearby?" " No." "Montparnasse." " With your parents?" " No. with a friend." "We rent it from an American." "We were lucky." "In October. we only found a room so tiny there was barely room to move." "Good job you weren't courting Gary Cooper." "Girls always seem to land on their feet." " What are you doing tonight?" " Going to friends'." "Actually. they're cousins." "Cousins!" "Never a free moment." "Tomorrow. come to the cinema." " Tomorrow is too far away." " Tonight." "But I told you I'm busy." "All right." "OK tomorrow." "We're made for each other." "Oh. look there." " Tomorrow at nine?" " Where?" " At the Capouhade." " Thhat phace?" " Where then?" " l'll try." " Yes or no?" " Maybe." "Sorry." "Divine." " Parrhs-Prresse." " No." "Frrarhce-Sohrr." " No." " Frrarhce-Sohrr?" "No. I'm with her." "You seem in a hurry." " Are you running away from me?" " Leave me alone." " You run. I run." " Stop harassing me." "Well. I just wanted to give you some advice." "I don't need advice." "Don't kill yourself." "Let's have a drink." " l don't even know you." " Come on!" "No. too crowded." "Let's go there." " You're doing law?" " As you can see." "And you?" "Centrale Engineering School." " You're a maths genius." " So they tell me." "You don't seem like the type." " What type do I seem?" " l don't know." "You're a funny girl." " Cigarette?" " No. thank you." "Don't wear dark glasses." "I'm sure you have very pretty eyes and you'll damage them." " You think?" " l studied optometry." " Do you live nearby?" " Sort of." " With your parents?" " l have a room." " ln a hotel?" " No." "A flat." " Actually. a painter's studio." " Where is he?" "He's away." "Girls always find a way of working things out." "No. it was by accident. really." "I never have such happy accidents..." "Except meeting you." "That's a good line." "Actually. it's been at least a year since I approached a girl." " A year ago. you did it loads." " A year ago. I was young." "Oh yes. you weren't at Centrale then." " What will you have?" " What?" "I'm not really thirsty..." "A Grenadine. please." "A Coca-Cola." "Girls always get Coca-Cola." "It's passe." " Really?" " Yes." "Where are you taking the Centrale course?" "There. at Henri Iv." "You know who first planted trees in Paris?" "Henri Iv." "You knew?" "Surely not." "Girls know nothing about anything." " l didn't think Henri Iv was..." " Just this year." "What are you doing tonight?" " l'm going out." " Girls always go out." " To friends'." " Oh. friends!" "Actually. they're cousins." "Girls always have cousins." "Great." "Actually." "they're my friend's cousins." "Cousins. friends..." "You'll never get away." " So when will you be free?" " Tomorrow night I'm free." "Tomorrow night. perfect." "No. not tomorrow night." "I have to go see my uncle." " See?" "You too." " He really is my uncle." "I don't doubt that." "Pity me tonight and I'll pity you tomorrow." " After tomorrow?" " Let it go!" " Come on. be nice." " That's ages away." " l don't like planning far ahead." " Just this once." " Oh. maybe." " l hate maybe." "You prefer no?" " l prefer yes." " Like it or lump it." "I bet I can make you say yes." " You'll let me try?" " Yes." "All right. we'll go out." "Yes?" "I said yes." " You sure?" " When I say yes. I mean yes." "We're made for each other." "Look there." "Damn and damn again." "What's wrong?" "What's wrong. I said?" "I don't know what to wear." " Your green dress." " Green doesn't suit me." " Damn cousins." " We've accepted." "I know." "but it always comes at a bad time." "God likes to toy with us." "What does He get out of it?" " You have a date?" " l could have." " Veronique?" " Yes." " Know what happened to me?" " No." "Charlotte." "Listen." "Stop playing about." "Did Max phone?" "I don't care about him any more." "No. would you believe that in the park. I was..." "Accosted..." "N o, aa pproaaochod Y ou saaw?" "f l suppose." "Was he nice?" "Sensational..." "He was like that American actor..." "Anthony what's-his-name." "Lovely boy. law student." "He asked you out?" "You could have waited for me. you sod." "I didn't think you were coming." "We went to that bistro. you know?" "I played hard to get." "Be mean to boys." "Teach them a lesson." "Well done!" " We have a date tomorrow." " Hilarious." " lt's true. you saw me." " No. I mean funny coincidence." " Coincidence?" " Listen." "At the same time. I was nearby." "outside Pons." " At the same time?" " Exactly." "Alone?" "Guess!" "What?" "How silly you can be." "Honestly!" "No. with a boy I met." "A boy from Centrale." "a bit like Gary Grant." "Did he accost you?" "Not exactly." "It was almost an accident." "Oh. I see..." "Don't be stupid!" "Believe what you will. I don't care." "Probably some lout you'd find there." "No. I don't go out with just anyone like you." "Don't you dare spray me!" "It was an accident." "We were buying Frrarhce-Sohrr at the same time." " No!" " lt's true!" " Liar." " l swear." "We have a date the day after next." "Tomorrow. he's with his uncle." " l'm sure it's his uncle." " We're going to your cousin's." " True." " What?" " Will you go after tomorrow?" " Will you go tomorrow?" " Yes. I said yes." " l said maybe." "What did you talk about?" "With Patrick?" "Patrick?" "Not Patrick Valcroze. obviously." "It's funny. today..." "All boys are named Patrick." "Yours too?" " Yes." " That's crazy." "How funny." "It won't be when they phone..." "So your Patrick." "what did he say to you first?" " He was sitting next to me." " He just sat down?" "Obviously. to be sitting." "he had to sit down." " Probably a womaniser." " No. he'd never approached a girl." " He said that?" " Of course not. I could tell." "But you were accosted." "I keep telling you we were buying Frrarhce-Sohrr at the same time." " Liar." " You'll see." "I wonder how we'll we fit four in this bed?" "Had I seen he was dishonest." "I wouldn't have been arsed." " "Had I seen"?" " Had I seen..." "M y aa rso" "His tie from that Italian shop I like." "You judge a boy on his tie?" "I don't go for the scruffy type." "like you." "I do not." "He had a nice jacket." "Of course." "He had his trench-coat on his arm." "On his arm?" "How common." "Did he drink whisky to impress you?" "Certainly not." "A Coca-Cola." "You know I hate snobs." "Coca-Cola?" "How passe." "He must be an idiot as well." "I know the type." "Did he look tousled?" " He was quite well groomed." " What do you call well groomed?" "He had a parting." "Everyone has a parting." "I bet he talked a load of rubbish." "Actually. he wasn't that talkative." " l'm ready." " For anything?" " You are so stupid!" " Just look pretty and shut up." "I bet you spoke to him first." "Did you?" "No. he said something intelligent first." "I judge him on what he says." "not on his tie." "Patrick is brilliant at maths." "Mine." "My Patrick is doing law." "Law?" "What year?" "He's almost finished." "Not like you." "Maybe I've seen him at uni." "Patrick..." "Patrick..." "Oh. there are so many." " Are you in love?" " l really am." "We could all go to the cinema together." " Did he kiss you?" " You?" "No. not me." "Me neither." "The next day." "as class lets out... ls he like that?" " Who?" " Your Patrick." "Are you crazy?" "What?" "Not overall. just the face." "I don't like snobs." "I know your tastes. my dear." "And I yours." "You always have to criticise." "Well. you always end up with creeps." "It's annoying." " Speak for yourself." " Well. this one is a womaniser." "Taxi..." "That's Patrick!" " Good taste for once." " l prefer the tie." " Go out with me tonight?" " lf you go with me tomorrow."