""Double, double toil and trouble" ""Fire burn and cauldron bubble. "" "I don't know why people do this." "It's not at all good for the cuffs." "Takes the starch out of them." "I wonder if it does that to babies?" "Of course, that must be the idea." "As you shall soon see, tonight's play bears a relation to the foregoing, however slight." "It is a tragical, comical, historical, pastoral, musical mystery entitled "Toby. "" ""Toby" takes place in New York in 1910 and on your television screen in just a moment." "So, well, then he says he wants new dishes in the cupboards." ""New dishes," I said, "Mr. Birch." ""Look, I don't put new dishes in my furnished flats. "" "But no, he insists," ""She's got to have new dishes when she moves in. "" "Some nerve." "Yeah." ""Well," I says," ""Oh," he says, "I'll pay for them myself. "" "He says, "Get her some pretty things." ""She comes from a good family." ""She's used to nice things. "" "Good family?" "And she's gonna live here in this dump?" "Mrs. McGurk, take these and stick them on the shelf if you don't want a teapot over your head." "Yes, ma'am." "Well, well, ladies, this is very pleasant, very pleasant indeed." "I hope you like the pattern on the new dishes, Mr. Birch." "Yellow roses, it's called." "Yes, very nice." "Very nice." "Oh, what will I put these flowers in?" "Oh." "Mrs. McGurk, you be a good one, run upstairs and get a vase out of that second-floor storeroom, huh?" "Yes, ma'am." "The Queen of Sheba will be thrilled." "Queen of Sheba?" "Your friend that's moving in, she means." "Queen of..." "Oh, no, she's nothing like that." "She's a very simple girl." "Girl?" "Well, I..." "Time passes, I know, but here in the mind and in the imagination it doesn't pass." "Why, to me, Edwina's still a girl." "Well, your Edwina's no girl." "Not after 20 years, she ain't, Mr. Birch." "Twenty years." "What kind of a girl is your Edwina, Mr. Birch?" "Heavens, I scarcely know." "She was the shyest, most gentle thing on earth back home in Canandaigua." "Oh, that's where we both come from," "Canandaigua." "Upstate." "Did you love her?" "Well, I think that's rather personal, don't you?" "Oh, come off it, Mr. Birch." "You've been my tenant upstairs for 12 years." "There ain't much we haven't talked about." "Yes, but this I'd rather not talk about." "Then you did love her." "Loved her?" "I was possessed by her." "Then what happened?" "Well, her father was very rich." "He owned the biggest house in town." "And, well, I was very poor." "Oh, then her father objected to you marrying her?" "Oh, no." "Not in the least." "I courted her for two years." "We would sit on the porch in the summer." "Oh, those long, hot days with the smell of the flowers." "I loved her more than my life." "But witness the fact that I never married." "And she did?" "Oh, no." "No." "Well, then what happened between you two?" "Why didn't you marry her?" "Well, I..." "Hey, it's got a chip in it." "I hope your lady friend ain't gonna mind." "Oh, thank you, Mrs. McGurk." "You've done very well." "Thank you." "Yeah." "Oh, that's a lovely shape for roses." "She loved roses." "Her porch back home was a bower of roses." "They climbed all across the trellis, pink ones, and white ones, and..." "Oh, excuse me for rattling on like this, but I think..." "Well, I believe this is the happiest day of my life." "Oh!" "Oh, for heaven's sakes." "I glued them handles on only last week." "What's the matter with you, Mr. Birch?" "It's a bad sign." "Bad sign, my eye." "Stick them in this pitcher here." "Everything will be all right." "I can't help feeling it's a bad sign." "Oh, go on with you." "Now, go on up into your own place, change your shirt." "Your lady friend will be here any minute." "Leave the roses to me, huh?" "Oh, if you don't mind, I'd rather." "Thank you, Mrs. Foster, thank you for everything." "You wanna be alone when she comes, is that it?" "Well, if you don't mind, I'm sure you understand." "Don't I just?" "I guess you won't be needing two flats for long." "No, I'm sure we won't." "And as soon as we settle the marriage details..." "Yeah, well, good luck." "And mind you give me 30 days' notice on that other flat." "It's just gotta rain." "It's gotta blow up the whole town, one or the other." "Can't go on like this." "Is no gonna rain, and is no gonna blow out." "Is gonna go on just the way it is." "Summer in New York." "It's cooler in the oven." "Stuart." "Stuart, let the lady pass, or you want I should paste you one?" "He's..." "He's waiting downstairs for you, miss." "Hey." "Who is this Miss Ritzy?" "This Miss Ritzy is Mr. Birch's friend." "He rented the basement flat for her." "MR. McGURK:" "Birch's friend?" "That weasel's got a friend?" "MRS. McGURK:" "He ain't no..." "You keep your mouth shut." "Edwina." "Hello, Albert." "Uh..." "Come in, come in, my dear." "I didn't know." "You never told me." "Oh, I have so much to tell you, Albert." "So much has happened to me." "Well, we'll be together now." "We'll have hours and hours to talk." "Oh, how we used to talk in the old days." "Do you remember?" "I've never forgotten." "Where shall I put the baby, Albert?" "Oh." "In the bedroom, Edwina." "Here, this way." "Why do you keep his eyes covered?" "He'll smother under that blanket." "The poor dear's just getting over scarlet fever." "The doctor said he was to remain in the dark for several weeks yet." "Scarlet fever, poor little thing." "Have you any milk for Toby's bottle?" "Oh, yes, yes." "I laid in a few supplies." "But I never thought the milk would be for a baby." "I didn't know you'd been married, Edwina." "Oh, Toby isn't my child, Albert." "He's my sister's child." "You remember Martha?" "Of course." "She married Otto Schmidt who worked in the bank." "They were driving in their carriage, a brand-new carriage, and they were hit by a train at Price's Corners." "They were both killed instantly." "Killed?" "Both of them?" "Luckily, Toby was at home with his nurse." "Poor little thing, scarcely three months old." "I'm his guardian now." "Poor Edwina, you must have had a terrible time." "I think the milk is warm enough now, Albert." "Put some in this bottle, there's a dear." "Of course." "You went away and you never wrote me, Albert." "I never heard a single word from you, not even a postcard." "Did you really go to college, Albert?" "Oh, I'm sure you fell in love with some other girl and forgot all about me." "Oh, no." "It's not true." "I never fell in love after I left you." "I did go to college but I couldn't finish." "There wasn't enough money." "So I left and came to New York and I've been here ever since." "Then you never became a lawyer, Albert?" "What are you then?" "Oh, I keep the books in a department store." "I'm a bookkeeper, Edwina." "A bookkeeper?" "How strange that I should be marrying a bookkeeper." "Oh, don't look like that." "I don't mind, I don't mind at all." "And Toby's too young to mind, so what's the harm?" "Why, there's no harm, absolutely none." "I shall buy you a box of pencils and a ledger for a wedding present." "And I shall wear roses." "I remembered you loved them." "Oh." "Roses." "Oh, what fragrance." "We always had roses in our garden at home." "I shall always try to have roses for you here, Edwina." "Oh, I'm glad I put that advertisement in the newspaper." "I'm glad we found each other." "Oh, my dear, when I..." "When I saw this in the personal column," "I couldn't believe it." "I had thought to go to the end of my life alone." "And then there was this." ""Seeking information as to the whereabouts" ""of Albert Birch, formerly of Canandaigua. "" "Oh, well, you should have come back to me years ago." "But I couldn't." "I couldn't, Edwina." "I knew I could never marry you." "I could never make the living that I had hoped to make as a lawyer, nor could I ever have the social position that I thought you wanted." "Social position?" "Me?" "I only wanted to be with you, as we are now." "As we are now." "And will be now, forever." "And now I must take up my duties as a proper father." "Now, you make yourself some tea while I give the little one his bottle." "No, no!" "No one's to go near him." "Don't be silly, my dear." "He's to be our child now." "No!" "No one's to go in there!" "Not yet." "Not yet, Albert!" "But why?" "He's not well." "He's not quite himself yet." "Well, I only thought to help." "A mother, even a foster-mother, feels things no man could ever understand." "Please." "Make me some tea." "Hey, listen." "Listen, did you hear that?" "Wasn't that thunder?" "Ah, it's the elevator over in the Bowery." "Hey, look." "Here she comes." "You know what I'm gonna make her do?" "I'm gonna make her talk." "Yeah, do that." "Three weeks she's been here, and she ain't opened her mouth to one of us." "Is it hot enough for you, Miss Freel?" "It's very warm, but I don't mind." "How's the baby standing the heat?" "He's fine." "Excuse me, do you think I could get by?" "What's the hurry?" "I've got to get the milk into the icebox before the sun sours it." "Oh, let her get by, Mac." "She talked, didn't she?" "We've been wondering about the baby." "The old lady here, she says..." "I never said no such..." "When are we gonna see the baby?" "Quite soon." "He's so much better now." "Please, let me get by." "Hey, come on, Mr. McGurk, let the lady pass." "I ain't stopping her." "He's playful, miss, like a gorilla." "Now, you quit it, Mac, it's too hot." "I'd like to see her get mad." "She looks too cool." "How I wish already you'd go back to work in the garbage truck." "Mamma mia!" "He sits around all day long, just tries to think up trouble." "Ah, shut your face." "I ain't stopping the lady, now, am I, miss?" "I'm gonna swat you one right in your beak if you don't quit it, McGurk." "Now, you just go on downstairs, miss." "And don't you try something or I'll hit you..." "Well, and how is my girl today?" "Oh, don't do that!" "Darling, what is it?" "I don't want you startling me like that." "So, you're upset." "What's happened?" "Nothing's happened, it's just..." "Oh, never mind." "I brought you something." "Put it on the table." "I'll be with you in a moment." "And if we're going for a walk after supper, you'll want to go upstairs and wash up, I'm sure." "Edwina, you've got to tell me when we're to be married." "It's been three weeks and you keep putting me off." "Oh, not now, Albert." "Why must you discuss it now when I'm getting the baby's supper ready?" "You've changed about me." "In your feelings for me, I mean." "Well, I'll confess something to you, Albert." "I'm just now beginning to get used to you, to having people around me." "You ought to be able to understand that." "I've lived alone for so many years and now I have Toby and you." "It's been quite a shock." "But I am getting used to it." "Oh, I am." "And soon, quite soon I'm sure, we can be married." "There now, I've explained it to you." "So, run along and freshen up." "We'll have a bite to eat and then we'll go for a walk along the Battery and watch the ferryboats crossing the harbor." "It's the most beautiful sight in New York." "It's so wonderful having you here, Edwina." "Thank you, Albert." "Now, run along, now." "Who is it?" "Open in the name of the law." "It's only us, your upstairs neighbor." "We brought you some cold beer, didn't we, Mac?" "Yeah, she was afraid you were sore at me, so she had me rush the growler." "Oh, set it down on the table." "Get some glasses, honey." "Oh, I'm busy right now, I'm feeding the baby." "Babies can wait." "Come on, have a drink." "I don't drink." "Of course you drink beer, especially on a hot day like today." "No!" "Now get out, both of you." "Get out, do you hear me?" "Now, wait a minute." "Just goes to show you." "You can't be neighborly with people who don't like to be neighborly." "It's just that I don't like things to happen to me suddenly, that's all." "I have to be prepared." "I don't like surprises." "Surprises make me nervous." "If you told me to expect you, I..." "Oh, never mind that stuff." "Yeah." "And what's more, it's like I told you, Marie." "There ain't no baby here at all." "Oh, yes, there is." "MR. McGURK:" "Where?" "In the bedroom." "Let's see him." "Let's see your little Toby." "Don't go in there!" "Mac, she means it." "Say, what's the matter with you?" "Come on, let's get." "Just take your beer and let's just get, Mac." "What I wanna know is, how come nobody's never laid eyes on that kid since you've come here?" "That's not true." "Mr. Birch has seen him." "What seems to be the trouble?" "You've seen her Toby boy, have you, Mr. Birch?" "Yes, I've seen him." "Well, why didn't you tell us, or Mrs. Foster, or somebody?" "Because I don't believe it's any of your business." "Oh, just ain't friendly at all, ain't neighborly at all." "Come on, Marie." "Well, thank heavens it's going to rain at last." "Did you hear that?" "That was certainly thunder." "Oh, I don't know how people can stand it in the city day after day." "The heat and the noise, it's enough to drive one..." "What's the matter, Albert?" "Why did you make me lie?" "Lie?" "Yes, about Toby." "Well, you didn't have to." "You could have told them." "Well, you knew I wouldn't." "I never saw him, either." "Well, I can't stand here discussing the matter with you now, Albert." "Oh, that blessed, blessed thunder." "Oh, now let it rain." "Let it rain and cool off all the fevers and drown out all the questions on people's lips and in people's eyes." "Why do you look at me like that, Albert?" "No, don't turn away." "Answer me." "I don't understand you, Edwina." "You don't understand me." "Well, that's a fine thing for you to say to me." "You broke my spirit and twisted my life and now you stand here and say," ""I don't understand you, Edwina. "" "When you step on a caterpillar, do you look down and say, "I don't understand you"?" "That's what you did to me, Albert." "You stepped on me and turned away." "And 20 years later, I came crawling back to you through an advertisement in the newspaper." "Oh, I know what you think of me." "You despise me!" "And I don't blame you!" "What's the matter with you, Edwina?" "I'm lonely!" "I've been lonely for 20 years waiting, waiting." "I couldn't get over you." "Oh, I tried." "I did try at first." "I gave parties." "I went to the band concert." "I even traveled a little." "But I grew lonelier every time I came home and I realized you weren't coming back." "Everybody seemed to be moving further and further away from me." "And they couldn't reach me, and I couldn't reach them." "I was alone." "Do you know what that is, where one's been promised so much?" "We were going to be a happy family like other families in Canandaigua with children growing up." "You promised me." "I don't know what to say." "I dreamed of children." "I dreamed of the family you promised me." "A noisy, laughing family." "And instead, I was utterly alone." "And then a miracle happened." "Toby was given to me." "Oh, yes, it was death who brought him to me and placed him in my arms." "Somebody had to die first, but Toby was sent to me at last, and I wasn't alone anymore." "And you never will be again." "I swear to you." "Oh, Albert, your present." "I'd forgotten all about it." "It's not real, but it certainly looks real, doesn't it?" "It's something to pin onto a dress or a hat." "A rose." "Thank you, Albert." "I love you more than ever." "You've got to believe me." "And I'm sorry for whatever I've done." "Oh, thank you, Albert." "I like to hear that said." "Don't touch me." "Don't dare come near me!" "You and your fake roses." "False!" "False!" "Do you think I could ever trust you?" "You?" "You don't wish me well." "Oh, I can see it now." "I can see it." "It's not true." "You wish I'd never come here." "Well, I'll take my child and I'll go and that will be that." "And one day, perhaps, you'll put an advertisement in the newspaper looking for me." "And I won't answer you, Albert." "No, I won't answer!" "And you'll suffer as I've suffered." "What is it?" "Oh, dear." "The gentlemen have arrived and I'm scarcely ready to receive them." "Hello, Miss Freel." "I'll be ready in a moment." "Ben, Amos," "I'm so glad you found me." "I don't like it in this place." "I've been lonelier than ever here." "We've come to take you back, Miss Freel." "I'll get my hat." "She isn't well?" "She's been in the county asylum for many years now." "In an institution?" "Outside Canandaigua." "She likes it there." "We were surprised she even wanted to escape." "Escape?" "Especially at this time of year, with the roses blooming all over the place." "She always said it reminded her of home." "Bye." "You ready, Miss Freel?" "Thank you for everything, Albert." "It's been so nice to see you again." "Goodbye." "Goodbye, Edwina." "I'm leaving Toby in your hands now." "I know you'll take good care of him." "But do write me from time to time and let me know how he's getting along." "I will, Edwina." "One day soon, I shall be back, I'm sure." "That's true, isn't it?" "Toby." "Edwina..." ""When shall we three meet again" ""In thunder, lightning, or in rain?" ""When the hurly-burly's done," ""when the battle's lost and won." ""That will be ere the set of sun. "" "Well, in other words, next week." "Good night, coz."