"Mwah-ha-ha-ha!" "I do not fear you, ugly thing!" "My heart is pure as a fresh-water spring!" "Silver Knight Gothik was standing, facing the terrible skeleton dragon that stared at him with his big, ugly, empty eyes." "With my silver daggers," "I shall lop off your head." "Just" " Agh." "Justice will be done only when you are dead!" "# Ta-ta-ta-ta-ta #" "Ha-ha!" "The terrible skeleton dragon stumbled and staggered and collapsed with an agonizing groan that sent shivers down the spine." "Ahh!" "A frail-looking youth emerged from his hiding place to congratulate the noble Silver Knight Gothik..." "Enough, you little pest!" "Clean everything up." "But, my Lord Gildas," "I'm playing Silver Knight Gothik!" "Your uncle, the good Lord Arnold, awaits us for supper." "Still no sign of them, my good Lord?" "Nothing, Gildas, nothing at all." "I can no longer see, but I am absolutely certain, my faithful knights will never return." "With all due respect, my Lord, you have allowed despair to overcome you." "Do you want me to dance a jig?" "!" "Come, come now, my Lord." "Where are those days of yore when my castle did shine in all its glory?" "Where are my men?" "My guards?" "My fife players?" "Alas, they have all fled, my good Lord." "I may be blind, Gildas, but I am nobody's fool." "It is quite clear that no one wishes to stay in this fortress." "Who would want to live here in fear of the World-Gobbler?" "Speaking of which, it is nigh time to send your niece to a safe haven, to the convent of the Crookedtooth sisters." "Ah, Gildas, if only I'd had a nephew." "I could have taught him the basic principles of dragon hunting." "Oh, yes, please, uncle!" "That would be so darn neat!" "It's not that I would rather have you be a boy, my little girl, but the fact is you are not one." "Hunting just isn't suitable for little girls." "It's Granion of Byzmooth, my uncle!" "Granion!" "You're alive!" "And the World-Gobbler?" "Have you seen him?" "Have you slain him?" "Oh!" "Cease your stupid groaning!" "Articulate!" "Now, where are my other faithful knights?" "With all due respect, my Lord, our faithful Granion is but a pile of ashes." "The smoldering knights." "Another sign, my Lord." "Raise the drawbridge, lower the portcullis!" "We've got to get a bigger knight." "You, go pack your bags!" "You're going to the Crookedtooth!" "Lock all the doors and bring me my battle axe and my swords!" "Gildas!" "We've got to get Silver Knight Gothik." "Hagrrr!" "The tail, Lian-Chu, the tail!" "Teach him a lesson, you hear me?" "!" "Go on, hit him on the tail!" "Go, go!" "Huh?" "On your feet!" "Keep your guard up!" "Oh, no, no, don't let it barf on you!" "Ahh!" "Oh!" "Ahh..." "Victory!" "Whoa!" "Okay, fun's over, guys." "Hey!" "Let's see, here we go." "Article three, clause two states:" "Upon receipt of the slain Mamularus," "Fat John of Wickedshire will pay the measly sum of 24 guineas to the valorous dragon hunters." "I don't see any hunters." "All I see is a bevy of clowns." "Walking disasters!" "Look what your bonehead there did to my cabbage patch with his goofball antics!" "Fat John of Wickedshire, look at me!" "Isn't that your "X" there at the bottom of the contract?" "Enough said, river rat." "You're gettin' diddly-squat." "Do you want to get my muscle-bulging buddy all riled up?" "Is that what you want?" "Move outta my fields and take the clown with you." "Ktor scarrythhix!" "Baddmanners!" "Ooh, the mutt wants his doggy food, huh?" "Ha-ha-ha-ha!" "Ktor, gnorramutt, a gragon!" "Dragon!" "Ktor scarrythhix!" "Oh, dear me!" "Great, I just tore my tights." "What's the matter, Gwizdo?" "Are you mad?" "You think that for once you could take your job seriously?" "It's always the same old circus, Lian-Chu." "All you do is clown around for the peanut gallery." "But I don't do it on purpose." "Yeah, it's a blimey good thing, too." "Why, pray tell, do you think these hicks never pay?" "Because they've got no money?" "No!" "They rip us off because you're not credible!" "What does "credible" mean?" "I don't know." "Well, take Hector here, for example." "Hector, with his big fangs and all that fur-- well, he's credible." "And that's why the hicks are scared of him, you get it?" "Acrabouibouif!" "You don't get it." "Okay, look, a dragon hunter who's credible makes the whole earth shake when he walks, right?" "Like, "boom, boom, ba-boom, boom, boom, ba-boom," huh?" "Arfarfarf, zdo z toofurrrnyy!" "And if he has to, he smacks his debtors a couple of times." "Bim-bam!" ""Fork over the money!"" "You get the picture?" "Hitting clients, that's being credible?" "Another example." "You think it's credible, a dragon hunter who likes to knit?" "But I tore a hole in my" "You got Mamular boogers on the brain or what?" "You knucklehead, knitting's something old ladies do!" "It was my mother who taught me." "Look, I'm sorry." "I didn't really mean what I said about knitting." "If you want a more credible friend, why don't you go look for one?" "Don't be ridiculous." "I could never find a better friend than you." "You're just saying that so I won't be angry." "Stop it!" "Who do you want me to hire as a partner, huh?" "Fat John of Wickedshire?" "No way!" "We're a real team, me and you!" "Waaaaaaaou, ktor teeeemtooo, teeeemtooo!" "Yeah, Hector." "The three of us, the three of us." "Say, Gwizdo, you think we'll have our little farm someday?" "Of course we will, you'll see, a quiet, little house on the water, and we'll have chickens, cows, pigs." "And we can have sheep... for the wool." "Yeah, right, and you'll knit me a shawl and woolen underwear for the winter." "What?" "Jimbob dragons." "Hey, this may mean some quick cash!" "Whoa!" "Lian-Chu, wait for me!" "Whoa!" "Whoa!" "Silver Knight Gothik!" "Uh, no, it's me, Lian-Chu." "You just saved my life there, my Lo" "Lordy leaping' lizards, two grilled Jimbobs for the price of one!" "Well, when I say "price,"" "that's just my way of talking, okay?" "Waa!" "A cute girl!" "Now we've got two Jimbobs dragons, night tariff!" "30 guineas payable on delivery." "Got the money on you, kid?" "Um... no." "Yeah, that figures." "But, of course, your daddy's got money, right?" "Where are your parents?" "They're dead, mister." "Oh, what misfortune!" "Once again we've worked for peanuts!" "And what are you doing in the woods at night without a guinea in your pocket?" "I'm looking for noble knights for my uncle, who is very, very rich." "Wait a minute, very, very rich?" "You are real knights, aren't you, my Lord?" "Knight Lian-Chu was hiding behind the village gates." "The sun was up." "Bloodthirsty dragons were attacking from all sides." "Knight Lian-Chu was alone, you see." "Alone against all odds." "And then..." "And then, Knight Lian-Chu grabs on to a roof by the tips of his teeth-- By his teeth?" "Yeah!" "And he leaps above the hoard hollering, "Yaaaaah!"" "Yaaaaaah!" "Rhumpf!" "And after that-- after that, my Lord?" "After that, Knight Lian-Chu jumps into the crowd!" "A smack here and a whack there!" "Wham-bam, thank you, ma'am!" "He ducks, a sword in each hand!" "And he sends 'em all flying with a kick to the butt!" "A real massacre!" "Wow." "It took about a whole week to clean up the village!" "Whoa, that's unreal!" "Almost as fabulous as Silver Knight Gothik!" "Huh?" "What?" "Competition?" "Silver Knight Gothik, the hero of legends." "He also slaps around dragons, with strength, courage and generous spirit!" "Oh, yeah?" "Well, it's kinda like that, except for the generous part." "You shouldn't believe everything you read in fairy tales, right, kid?" "You see, we're more like, uh, wandering knights." "In any case, Uncle Arnold is going to be happy to see you." "Whoa!" "Boy, oh, boy." "I'm gonna have to be darn credible now." "My lords and ladies..." "how are ya doing?" "Put on a smile and open your bulging purses!" "Sir Gwizdo and Knight Lian-Chu, the greatest dragon hunters from, uh" "Who dares disturb me during my clyster?" "With all due respect, my Lord, it is two miserable louts and your niece." "Not at all!" "ZoĂ©!" "They are wandering knights, Uncle, and they just saved my life!" "Go to your room, you little runaway!" "But, Uncle..." "Tomorrow it's off to the Crookedtooth!" "You, what feats have you done, besides putting up with my niece?" "Uh, us?" "Well, uh, the noble Knight Lian-Chu is famous in many a land, and his fearless feats have inspired so many before him that he" "Spare me the folklore!" "Warrior, take a step forward!" "Hmm?" "Mmm." "He's got muscle..." "and raw power." "Mmm, yes!" "The attributes of a true warrior." "Your highness, if you please, they are" "Shut up, Gildas!" "Let's roll, son." "I have a mission for you." "Uh..." "Every 20 seasons, the most terrifying dragon alive wakes up and leaves his lair at the far end of the world... and he comes!" "He devours entire regions, burns villages by the hundreds, swallows fortresses whole, before returning to his lair, leaving only ashes behind." "Gildas!" "I have inscribed on this calendar all of the signs of his awakening." "Look!" "The crenelations collapse, the smoldering knights... the red cloud... the bridges sailing away... the sinking villages and talking animals." "Blablablablablablabla!" "When all of these signs have appeared, my boy, he will have returned, the devourer of life... the World-Gobbler." "I have seen him, son." "I once lifted my sword before him and the mere sight of his fiery gaze drove my own eyes back into my skull." "Since then, all I can see is a dead, gray landscape, a terrible place where there is no life and no joy." "Uh, what's that little tree there, next to the dragon?" "That is for scale, dear knight." "Go to his kingdom, enter his lair far off in the west-- beyond the end of the world-- and strike him while he sleeps... before it's too late." "Uh, yeah, yeah, yeah, but, uh, no." "It's a cruel blow, but, ooh, look at that, we're all booked up." "Strike him dead and the world will be saved" "Lian-Chu, say good-bye." "We're disturbing the man." "Then my health and sight will return, and I will cover you in gold." "Uh..." "Uh, uh, uh..." "Dear client, you can make room for his head in your museum of horrors!" "But first, let me show you our standard contract, a special little advance for travel expenses, and since we're amongst noble knights here, right?" "A large purse of gold should do the trick nicely." "Modern methods, why not?" "Gildas?" "Yeah, Just put an "X" there, here, here and there." "Arrrooooolroooollll zcoool zuperjob!" "Acrabouibouif." "The red cloud, my Lord!" "Saddle up, my good, brave knights!" "Keep heading west, my Lords, until the end of the world." "Yeah, yeah, for sure, old man, for sure!" "And say hi to the missus, will ya?" "Yes, yes!" "Ha-ha-ha!" "Yes, whoo-hoo-hoo!" "Yes!" "Where are you going?" "To quaff a cold one, buddy!" "It's not every day we get to rip off a blind, old geezer." "That's not the way to the end of the world." "Lian-Chu, don't you understand?" "Who cares about their end of the world?" "We're rich!" "Do you know what this is?" "An advance?" "This is our little farm, buddy, the one of our comfy, little dreams, with sheep everywhere." "Now let's get out of here while the beasties are busy." "Ahh!" "I'm coming with you, my lords!" "Waaa, grrrl!" "Huh, what?" "ZoĂ©, you can't be serious." "Sure I am." "My uncle told me I had to come with you to the end of the world." "Oh, really?" "Well, weren't you punished?" "No!" "And what he also said was that I should learn the rudiments of the trade." "No, no, no, no, no, no and no." "You go home and explain to Uncle Arnold that Lord Gwizdo does not take on apprentices." "He also said that if you don't wanna take me, he would, uh..." ""Would, uh," what?" "That he would spank your bare bottom in public." "My bare bottom?" "In public?" "!" "For crying out loud!" "And he's spitting fire besides!" "K'tor brgg fire k'tor!" "No, what I meant was he's doing it with his mouth, Hector!" "I don't see what's so funny!" "Wow!" "Boy, you sure mashed up that big, red dragon good, Sir Lian-Chu!" "Oh, that was so unreal!" "I am so fabulously impressed!" "I've got to, um..." "find my flail." "Your funny sword?" "Wait for me, Sir Lian-Chu, I'm going to find it for you!" "Hey, are you gonna mash up..." "Okay, Sir Lian-Chu's groupie, your backstage chatter is very close to driving me bonkers!" "Tough luck for the public spanking!" "ZoĂ©!" "You grab your bag and you get lost!" "You go home now!" "We don't travel well with little kids!" "Strange, but I have this funny feeling that some real doo-doo's gonna start flying." "And so Knight Lian-Chu was on the Western Bridge with the big, red dragon who was breathing fire, and he said to him, in his big, deep voice," ""I am not scared of you, Big Red!" "One move from you and you're dead!"" "# Who is the man of a thousand feats?" "#" "# The terror of dragons far and near #" "# With his silver sharp daggers he slays #" "# And finishes them off with a kick #" "# Who's the man who woos a princess a day?" "#" "# It's him of course #" "# Silver Knight Gothik #" "How do you become a real knight, Sir Lian-Chu?" "Do you go to knight school?" "Wow, this is really unreal that you're taking me with you." "I mean, really unreal!" "Hey, are there girl knights?" "'Cause me, I wanna be a girl knight." "And that time you were hanging from the tips of your teeth, how did you do that?" "And your funny sword there, is that a magic sword?" "Um, I don't really know." "Silver Knight Gothik, he's modest, too." "He always says, "modesty is the sign of great knights like me."" "He's my favorite fairy-tale hero." "I'd love to meet him one day and become his best friend, or his future girl knight." "Unreal!" "But you can't in real life." "Oh, bummer!" "I can't take it." "I'm gonna hang myself." "They're only blisters." "Put some herbs on them." "I'm not talking about my blisters," "I'm talking about Princess Blabbermouth!" "A fire, a fire!" "Let's make a big fire!" "In any case, did you see how credible I am with her?" "Yeah, but the idea of being credible, Lian-Chu, was to take Uncle Arnold's money and run, not to play" ""knights and dragons" until the end of the world!" "The best friend of Knight Lian-Chu always went to get wood for the fire along with the funny, blue dog who talked." "ZoĂ© Hihihihi!" "Say there, sirs, am I mistaken, or is your dog a bit weird?" "Hehehehehe, wantz woooood?" "So are you gonna tell her that we're not real knights?" "Yeah, right, and that we ripped off Uncle fisheyes, and then she goes and spills the beans!" "Oh, no, buddy, now we're in deep doo-doo here." "He sure is weird." "But what do we do now?" "Ditch her in the woods-- no crying, no fuss, no explanations." "Yeah, it's a sure-fire method." "And with a little luck, she'll get gobbled up by wild beasts." "Are you sure?" "You bet I am!" "That World-Gobbler and his little tree for scale?" "Not for me." "Tonight we wait 'til she falls asleep and" "Zip" " We're outta here." "Whose is this?" "Oh!" "Uh... it's Gwizdo's." "That's so funny, sir." "I'm really sorry, but knitting's for grannies!" "No it's not." "It certainly is, she's absolutely right!" "Knitting's for old ladies." "But, hey, the truth is my mother taught me, and knitting relaxes me, especially after a long, hard day!" "So scram, scat, and go play with good, old Fido!" "You really have a super ton of scars, sir." "Say, those are hunting wounds, right?" "Do they hurt?" "Me too, I've got some." "That one's a wild squirrel when I was playing in the trees, and that one's a duck that was fabulously angry one day." "We used to have tons of ducks before my parents died of cholera." "And then my uncle brought me to his fortress and" "Don't you ever get tired?" "Sure, but I always need a bedtime story to get me to sleep." "A bedtime story?" "Oh, yes, just a short one, please, sir?" "You mean just one short story and then you go to sleep?" "Hey, no problem then!" "But it's one story and then beddy-bye, right?" "Then you fall asleep, okay?" "Let's do it." "Okay, "Silver Knight Gothik."" ""..." "And brave Silver Knight Gothik" ""wrenched the terrifying creature out of the shadows." ""His shiny scales were dripping blood" ""from the children he had just devoured," ""and whose terrifying screams still echoed" ""in the bone-chilling wind of the labyrinth." ""The fat slimy creature growled," ""revealing his sharp, crooked, yellow fangs," ""and he moved away from the oozing wall." ""Silver Knight Gothik stared him straight in the eyes and then said, with a voice that did not waver, 'I am--"'" ""I am not afraid of you, dreadful thing," ""for my heart is pure as a fresh-water spring."" ""'With my silver daggers, I shall lop off your head..." ""and justice will be done only when you are dead.'" ""And Silver Knight Gothik" ""threw his silver daggers that sparkled like diamonds and the monster died in terrible agony."" "Well..." "I never!" "It's no wonder this girl's a live wire." "I mean, kids should not be reading this stuff!" "Hey, she's fast asleep, Lian-Chu." "This is our chance." "Let's go!" "Hey, Lian-Chu, are you asleep?" "Come on, Lian-Chu, get up!" "Can you hear me?" "Lian-Chu, wake up!" "Hurry, will you?" "Would you look at me?" "Come on!" "Hey, get up, get up!" "Come on, Lian-Chu, hey, buddy, wake up!" "Can you hear me?" "Have a bad sleep?" "Tonight, if you start snoring again," "I'm chopping off your nose." "I was faking." "What?" "You did that?" "But that's immoral!" "One doesn't abandon children in the woods." "Of course you do!" "Our little farm, Lian-Chu, it's right there." "And you, because of some little girl who thinks" "She would get lost." "I'm ready!" "Me, what I really like in a Zeebulgarian omelet are the little pieces of mushroom inside." "Mmm, unreal!" "So I eat the little pieces of mushrooms, and Gildas, he tries to make me eat the eggs." "How about you, do you like eggs, Sir Lian-Chu?" "'Cause to be honest, eggs" "Well, I think they smell like stinky feet!" "Yeah, well we're lost, too, old buddy." "Okay, let's be honest." "He's surely not that way." "On the other hand, if we take the little side bridge there, we reach the pretty, little field of daisies where we were yesterday..." "But, Sir Gwizdo, isn't it that way to the end of the world?" "Okay, so it's "fabulously unreal"" "that we're taking you with us on our little adventures, but why don't you bug off and let us work?" "And besides, no kid's gonna teach me my geography" "Lensflair!" "It's Sir Lensflair!" "One of my uncle's best knights!" "Whoo-hoo!" "Woo!" "Aaaie, aaie, aaie!" "Anatole, are you okay?" "Aah, aah, aah!" "Back off, you lowly critters!" "Leave me in peace!" "But-- but you're not animals, are you?" "Uh, no, it's me, ZoĂ©." "ZoĂ©, ZoĂ©..." "Don't you recognize me?" "He's stark-raving mad." "He wasn't like that before." "ZoĂ©!" ""I do not fear you, ugly thing."" ""My heart is pure as a fresh-water spring!"" "Over there, don't you see a knight?" "Be quiet, do as I say." "Go home." "Aaah!" "But, my Lord, the World-Gobbler" "Huh?" "Over there, another knight!" "Argh!" "Woo!" "Forget the World-Gobbler, kid, you'll never stand a chance." "Argh!" ""Are you spilling the beans again, you old chatterbox?"" "Why, no, no, I'm not spilling the bea" "Ow!" "Hey, that's Sir Gwizdo and the great Knight Lian-Chu!" "And they're gonna make kindling out of the World-Gobbler!" "But-- but you're mad!" "Yes, you are, you are mad, aren't you?" "Answer me!" "Yes, of course, you're mad, you're mad, I know you're mad!" "Ooh!" "Mad, mad!" "I know you're mad!" "You know you're mad!" "We all know you're mad!" "Oh, sweetheart, I know you're mad, because I'm mad!" "I'm mad, I'm mad, we're all mad, everybody's mad!" "And I'm mad that I'm mad." "I'm so mad that I'm mad, that I'm mad..." "Sir Lian-Chu, do you often have nightmares?" "Me too-- often, the same one." "There's a skeleton dragon-- enormous." "And I scream and scream, but nothing comes out of my mouth, and the skeleton dragon carries off everyone in sight." "Say there, Sir Lian-Chu, something around here smells bad." "And besides, my stomach is in knots and my hands are sweating and my legs are shaking, and cold sweat's running down my neck." "Is that normal?" "Sir Lian-Chu, I think I" "I want to go back home" "Shh!" "The end of the world." "Where did that village come from?" "Scary ghost town or stinky forest?" "Scary ghost town." "K'tor smillll goodyeat!" "Ya!" "Hi-ya!" "K'tor toooo hrampy!" "Go for walk... k'tor andgrllgrll!" "He!" "Acrabouibouif!" "Huh..." "What's the problem?" "The big tree." "Yeah, what about it?" "Those leaves are really strange." "Yeah, well, good riddance, stinky leaves!" "Aagh!" "The crazy bats from the bridge!" "Look, look, K'tor!" "Goodeat, goodeat!" "Arghhhh!" "Open up!" "Sir Gwizdo, open the door!" "Not the ears!" "Get away from me!" "Ahh!" "Hey!" "Good move with the barrel, kid." "Yes!" "Go find your own!" "No, no, no, no..." "Haaaaa!" "Quit bothering the sheep!" "Oh, no!" "I'll bury you alive, you ugly beasts!" "Mmm?" "Hmm?" "Shh, shh, shh..." "Hey, bats, boo on you." "Sir Lian-Chu is too strong for you!" "Hey, bats, boo on you!" "Sir Lian-Chu is too strong for you!" "Hey, bats, boo on you!" "Sir Lian-Chu is too strong for you!" "Sir Gwizdo, he left me all alone with the ugly bats!" "I called for help, and he didn't budge." "I knocked on the door, but he didn't even open it." "Ah, and to think that we could be relaxing on our little farm..." "Hey, I mean, we've been talking about our little farm for eons, right?" "Ever since Mother Hubbard's little orphan paradise." "Hey, do you remember when we were kids, when I taught you how to hide your cookies in your underpants so the other kids wouldn't steal them?" "And you gave a wedgie to the big guy with lice every time he took my cookies?" "When the World-Gobbler is dead, we can have our little farm." "Oh, right!" "The great Knight Lian-Chu is gonna say to the World-Gobbler," ""I do not fear you, ugly thing!"" "And" " Poof-- The World-Gobbler's dead and we're all happy as pigs!" "Stop." "I'm not finished!" "And then nature blossoms, everything's green, and there are little, white bunnies flying all over the place" "Stop!" "We're all gonna die 'cause of some little girl who dreams of knights." "But, you see, life's not a fairy tale." "In real life, knights, they always die." "I don't want you to die, Lian-Chu." "Then why don't you step off the village if you don't wanna come?" "Oh, so that's the way it is, huh?" "Well, that's exactly what I'm gonna do." "Farewell and good riddance, Knight Lian-Chu!" "Get off, move!" "Acrabouibouiiiiiiiiif!" "Why is Sir Gwizdo leaving?" "Because he says we're all going to die." "Oh, that's a crock of poop." "Hmm, maybe he's right after all." "No, he's not right." "You are the strongest, stronger than Silver Knight Gothik!" "Gwizdo says that life isn't a fairy tale." "What does Sir Gwizdo know anyway?" "And, besides, who is that Gwizdo?" "Lord Pain In The Butt," "Sir Old Fart, Mr. Blister Foot?" "He was my one friend." "Ahh!" "What are you doing here?" "Hello there, Sir Gwizdo!" "So the rat's jumping the ship, is he?" "What's this circus all about?" "You're abandoning your friend." "Lord McChicken!" "Wait a sec!" "What do you girls want, to make me feel guilty, is that it?" "Sir Scaredy Pants!" "Scaredy Pants?" "Yeah, and so what?" "Do you think I look like the hero of this fairy tale?" "And Lian-Chu-- What's gonna happen to him?" "Huh?" "Huh?" "He won't listen to me!" "Sir I'm Shaking Like A Leaf!" "Sir I'm Sh-Sh-Shaking Like A Leaf!" "It's all ZoĂ©'s fault." "And the lie!" "Hey, Sir Rip-Off Artist!" "Shut up, I didn't choose to be small and poor!" "Don't forget ugly and mean!" "Exactly, ugly and mean!" "Now get outta here!" "Scram!" "Just scram, bats!" "Arghh!" "I don't believe in heroism, and "happily every afters"" "and animals that talk!" "Hrrg!" "Animals that talk." "Gwizdo!" "ZoĂ©!" "Ahh!" "Hmm?" "Huh?" "Lian-Chu?" "No!" "Sir Lian-Chu!" "Grrr zzzz toomannyg sheepz!" "Sir Lian-Chu!" "Weird things are happening underneath the village!" "Just wait for me here!" "Tell me honestly, kid, what do I have at the end of my arms?" "Hands?" "Wrong!" "Hello there, little ZoĂ©!" "Lian-Chu!" "Sir Gwizdo's doing weird things with his hands, like Knight Lensflair." "Agrouif, Fishyyk, Goodyeat!" "We've got to get a bigger village!" "Wahhhh, bigggstinkyyy!" "Kaboom, yeah!" "Whoo!" "Come on now, quit fooling around, Sir Gwizdo." "It's not funny!" ""Hello, little kiddies, would you like a story?"" ""Oh, yes, yes, tell us a story!"" ""The story about the naive, little girl who mistook two lowly rogues for noble knights!"" ""Oh, no!" "We've already heard that one!"" ""Another one, another one!" "Please, please, please, please, please, please!"" ""Then the one about the nice hunter" ""devoured by the World-Gobbler" ""because of some little girl who dreamed of noble knights?" "!"" ""Yuck, that one really stinks!"" ""And the one about the two red bats that strangled the little girl?"" "Oh, yes, oh, yes!" "That's the one!" "ZoĂ©?" "ZoĂ©?" "ZoĂ©?" "ZoĂ©?" "ZoĂ©?" "ZoĂ©?" "ZoĂ©!" "Deepdoodoo!" "Frrrr bouif tooooooooooosad!" "I can't feel my legs." "Your legs are just fine!" "You had a bad fall, that's all." "You were right, Gwizdo." "Life isn't a fairy tale." "But, you know, it doesn't matter if you're not really knights." "You're still my favorite heroes." "Lian-Chu, he's even stronger than Silver Knight Gothik, and that's no fairy tale." "All you have to do is believe." "But Lian-Chu needs you in order to succeed." "Promise me you'll carry through to the end, Gwizdo, and my death won't have been in vain." "It's a promise, ZoĂ©." "We're gonna make kindling out of the World-Gobbler!" "Really?" "I swear we will." "Oh, thank you, Gwizdo!" "But-- but-- you and" "You're not hurt?" "Nope." "I just fell down there." "You... but that-- that's immoral." "Do you realize what a fright you gave us?" "You were really scared?" "Of course I was!" "That means you love me." "What?" "Uh, mmm, all-- all right, party's over, guys!" "We've got us a World-Gobbler to slay." "What's that giant tree?" ""It's for scale, sir."" "That noise, what is that?" "Is that an earthquake?" "No, it was snoring." "We have to find him." "Ugh." "Eeeh?" "!" "Agrrrr, Grrrrrr!" "Run for cover!" "Monster bat?" "My nightmare." "That's the skeleton dragon from my nightmares!" "Lian-Chu, come back!" "Ugh!" "Lian-Chu, no!" "Help, Lian-Chu!" "I'm sorry, Gwizdo." "We're all going to die!" "ZoĂ©, look at me!" "We've gotta believe!" "Isn't that what you said?" "So hang on, hang on, hang on!" "I believe, I believe, I believe!" "I believe, I believe," "I believe, I believe, I believe!" "Lian-Chu!" "Lian-Chu!" "Leave them alone!" "I do not fear you, ugly thing." "My heart is pure as a fresh-water spring!" "Haaa!" "Get up, Lian-Chu!" "Go for it, Lian-Chu, go!" "You can do it, Lian-Chu!" "Everything is real pretty now." "Now, over there will be the barn." "Uh-- oh, and there, the chicken coops." "What do you mean?" "Our little farm, old buddy!" "With sheep for your wool!" "And there, the mill for bread, a big mill." "And over there, your sheep barn." "And when I say sheep barn, I mean a real sheep barn." "And here, our house... with your bedroom, my bedroom... and ZoĂ©'s bedroom!" "A big room, huh?" "With a view of the flying bunny rabbits for whenever she comes to see us during the holidays, right?" "Yes!" "Niarf, hehehe, zzooocooool!" "So we're gonna go pick up Uncle Arnie's cash?" "We certainly deserve it." "# We've slain the monster #" "# Fried his butt #" "# We're dragon hunters we can strut #" "# Big fat dragon now he's dead #" "# And we're gonna pick up a ton of bread #" "Where are my noble knights?" "Uh, but-- but, my great and wealthy Lord, we're here." "You?" "Yeah, Lian-Chu and Gwizdo, you know, dragon hunters!" "All right, look, isn't that your "X"" "at the bottom of this parchment?" "All right, enough of this." "I don't see any hunters." "What I see are two coarse and lowly rogues." "With all due respect, my Lord," "I do believe I did warn you!" "But-- but, Uncle, it's really true." "Lian-Chu killed the World-Gobbler." "That's why you've been cured and nature has blossomed, and there are little bunnies everywhere" "And you, little runaway, your tall tales will get you nowhere." "They're not tall tales!" "Lian-Chu is a hero!" "Out of my sight, insolent girl!" "Your eyes are even more inside out than before-- ugh!" "Off to the convent, little pest!" "So much the better... 'cause I'd rather go to the Crookedtooth convent than live with a bitter, heartless, ugly, old fart who doesn't even love me." "ZoĂ©, get back here immediately!" "ZoĂ©'s right!" "You're really a loser, and, besides, you're mean to little girls!" "You don't know ZoĂ©." "She's kind, she's courageous and she's intelligent!" "And she deserves so much better than a-- a dishonest, self-centered, miserly old uncle!" "And with all the respect I have for the boogers in my nose," "I'd like to know what Lord Arnold The Buttwipe has to say about that?" "Ow!" "Ooh, I tell you, kings are not respectable people." "It was when you called him Arnold The Buttwipe that he really got mad." "Hey, hey, just a sec there, Mr. Coward." "You could have done something!" "Why?" "You did a great job on your own." "A great job?" "Are you pulling my leg?" "If it wasn't for you," "ZoĂ© would have gotten spanked on her bare bottom." "Hmm." "You know, you're right!" "Do you think we'll see ZoĂ© again someday?" "Forget about her, buddy." "I mean, look at us, nothing's changed." "We're still two coarse and lowly rogues, just good for getting our butts kicked by royalty." "Hey, wait up for me, noble knights!" "Whaaa?" "Zee girl?" "!" "ZoĂ©, what are you doing here?" "The old Crookedtooth isn't my style." "I'm gonna go live on the little farm with you guys." "What little farm?" "You know, the one you dream of." "With the big mill and the barn and sheep... for wool!" "ZoĂ©..." "I love you!" "# We've slain the dragon #" "# Fried his butt #" "# We're dragon hunters we can strut #" "# On World-Gobbler eyes we shall dine #" "# And Arnold stick your money where the sun don't shine #"