"5,600... 5,600..." "Ladies and gentlemen, this is a beautiful 18th-century ormolu bracket clock." "There is a reserve on this item and we have not yet reached it." "5,700... 5,800..." "Come along, now, this is a lovely piece and this is a very disappointing figure." "Any advance on £5,800?" "5,800 for the last time." "Any advance..." "5,900 against you, Mr. Wendover." "£5,900..." " Sold." "Lovejoy." " (Gavel bangs)" "Thank you." "We'll take a short break." "If you'd like to move through to the next room." "Thank you very much indeed." "You did well with that clock." "Birmingham Bertie." "The question I ask myself, Lovejoy, is how are you gonna pay for it?" " I've a very philosophical response to that." " Yes?" "Mind your own business." "Charles Spencelayh, born Chatham, Kent, 1865." "First exhibited at the Royal Academy 1887." "I know." "The thing about Spencelayh, the more detail in the picture, the higher the price." " I know." " I'm very into Spencelayh, you see." "They don't come up very often and I wouldn't want to miss this one." " Know what I mean?" " I don't know." "Then I'll explain." "What will it cost to, erm..." " You know..." " Buy me off?" " Shh!" " Mr. Wooller, that's illegal." " I know but how much would it cost?" " It's not the way I do business." " Not what I heard." " Get a hearing aid." "Can I have a little quiet, ladies and gentlemen, please?" "This is lot 143, which is a portrait in the impressionist style," "French school, unsigned, a delightful piece, in its original frame, and it's always been with the family." "So who'll start me off at £1,000?" "£1,000, 1,050, thank you." "1,100." "1,150." "I hear 1,200." "Thank you. 1,250." "1,300." "Yes." "1,350." "Thank you." "1,400 anywhere?" " Susan." " I've got to talk to you." "There's a painting coming up I'm buying for someone." " It's about Vicky." " What about her?" " I can't talk in here." " Can it wait a few minutes?" "I'm talking about your daughter." "Well, what about her?" "I think she..." "I think she might have been kidnapped." "What?" "Any advance on 1,750?" "What do you mean, she might have been kidnapped?" "Well, she's vanished." "Susan, there's a bit of a difference between vanished and kidnapped." "I had to get your attention, Lovejoy." "For all we know, she might have been kidnapped." "She's not living at the flat and she's not been at work for a week." " How do you know?" " Because, unlike her father," "I keep in touch with her." "When I telephoned yesterday, another girl answered the phone." "Apparently Vicky's let the flat to this girl and gone off somewhere." " Where?" " I don't know." "Moved in with someone else, this girl said." "Well, she's probably got fed up of living on her own," " something like that." " Without telling me?" " Anything could've happened to her." " Oh!" " I'll do something, just leave it with me." " Oh, good." "Yes, great." "Perfect." "I feel so much better now that you're dealing with it." "Oh, Susan!" "...at £7,550... 7,550 for the last time..." " (Gavel bangs)" " Sold." "Wooller." "Lot 145." "A landscape..." "You know Vicky, she's quite a sensible girl." "I suspect romance has entered my daughter's life." "Why on earth couldn't she have a romance in her own flat?" "I don't know." "There must be a reason." "Sooner or later she'll call and explain it all." "Meanwhile, Susan expects you to go and investigate." "Inspector Lovejoy to the rescue." "And also meanwhile, my uncle has missed his Spencelayh." "Mm." "I only wish that creep from Birmingham hadn't got it." "We won't see another Spencelayh in a hurry." "We won't." "So the family will have to think of another present." "Not easy for the 80th birthday of a belted earl with a great fortune." "Any other ideas?" "Lovejoy, any other ideas?" "Ideas?" "For Uncle Willy's present?" "How about a seven and a half grand gift token?" " We'll have to get him a Spencelayh." " In ten days?" "I'll get him one, Jane, I promise." "Do you know Michael Brightman?" "Oh, that pompous idiot who renounced his title?" " Mm." " No, I don't." "He's just been made junior minister for the environment." "Oh." "Can I borrow this paper?" "Hardly your usual reading, is it?" "Well, it's your paper." "It's probably the gardener's." "I only want this page." "I don't get it." "The painting above the mantelpiece, Eric." "Ah!" "(Laughs)" "Right, yeah." " It's that picture for that tart from..." " That very, very nice woman." "That's right, that very, very nice woman, yeah." "So you think she sold the picture to the MP bloke?" " No, he doesn't." " No, I don't, Eric." "Stately homes usually have collections of Old Masters, right, Eric?" "Right." "Well, Lord Caston, Brightman's dad, was a bit of a Bohemian, friend to artists and poets." "Well, he built up a collection of modern masters." "And that's what this picture is?" "A Mark Gertler?" "Well, don't you find it odd that Brightman buys a new Gertler when Caston House has its own collection?" "Lovejoy... perhaps this one is genuine and has been here all the time." "Perhaps the other one is a copy and perhaps when you verified it for your very, very nice friend, well, just perhaps, erm..." "Perhaps what, Tink?" "Well, modern pictures are notoriously difficult to..." " Oh, no, no, I did not make a mistake." " Hang on." "I mean, I mean, maybe this MP's one is a copy and..." "Well, or maybe..." "Maybe Gertler painted the same subject twice." " Lots of painters do that, don't they?" " They do but not Gertler." "You know what I've always thought was rather strange about this." "The way the shop let your very nice friend take the picture away on her signature." "She might just have waltzed off with it." "Yeah." "It was a shop in Rittlesford, wasn't it?" "Yeah." "It's closed down now, though." "I drove past the other day and there's an estate agent's board above it." "(Tinker) To solve the mystery, your very nice friend should be your next port of call." " You've cut your hair." " Mm." "Do you like it?" "Yeah." "I do." "And you've lost weight." "You look great." " I've been highly motivated." " New fella?" "You haven't come all this way to see whether I've lost weight, have you?" "I came to see the Gertler." "You've still got it?" " Oh, yes." " You haven't sold it or anything?" "No way." "There have been times when I've been short for cash but there's something about that picture - I'll never sell it." "So where is it, then?" "I take it you have a buyer who wants it?" "But you won't sell it." "Well, if I didn't sell it when I was desperate, I wouldn't sell it now." "But it is nice to see you." "And you, Bonnie." "Oh, there you are." "Who's this?" "Andrew, yes, this is Lovejoy." "Lovejoy." "Oh, yeah, you and Bonnie used to be..." "Friends." "Still are." "Lovejoy knows someone who might want the Mark Gertler." " Really?" "How much?" " But I told him it wasn't for sale." "Right." "Of course." "Bonnie really loves that picture." " Yeah." "I've got to be going." " You won't have some tea?" " I've got to see my ex-wife." " Tricky thing, exes." "That's what I hear." "Toy boys are out of fashion, Bonnie." "I know." "I always was one step behind, wasn't I?" "Just look after yourself." "It's a fake." "But if you like a picture..." "I mean, would you love it any less if it turned out to be a copy?" "If it was beautiful before you knew, isn't it still beautiful?" "Well, for one thing, you've been ripped off." "And that's not nice." "And another thing, all genuine works of art have historical significance." "Fakes destroy that significance." "And that's not nice, either." "Hi." "I recognize you from your photograph." "I'm Sarah, come on in." "I was just going to have a drink." "There you are." "Do sit down." "I know what you're going to ask me and I have to tell you I don't know the answer." " Where is my daughter?" " Right." " Don't know or won't say?" " I really don't know." "Vicky specifically didn't tell me so I could genuinely tell you and Susan that I don't know." " But you know what happened to her?" " Yes." "Well..." "I don't think anything's actually happened to her." "Oh, come on." "You don't disappear unless something happens." " You're worried in case she's in trouble?" " Is she?" "No." "I'm sure she isn't." "But you'd know if she was?" "Yes!" "We're terribly close." "She tells me everything." " Except where she's staying." " Yes." "Mm." " And what's this fella like?" " Which one?" "The one she's run off with." "Come on, Sarah, I can vaguely remember what it was like being your age." "Oh, I don't know." "I don't think you look that old." "In any case, older men are so much more interesting." "They've had such interesting lives." "I know you have." "Well, when you speak to Vicky, tell her to call her mother, will you?" "I didn't say I was going to speak to her." "I know you didn't but you're going to, aren't you?" "(Susan) So who is this Sarah?" "(Lovejoy) A friend of Vicky's." "A friend of hers that we don't know, she's rented her flat to her and you think that's all right?" " We can't know all her friends, Susan." " You don't know any of them." "I don't think there's anything to worry about." "Vicky's disappeared, gone off with God knows who, and there's nothing to worry about?" "I'll bet Sarah was on the phone to Vicky the minute I left." "Then why doesn't Vicky call me?" "Well, she will, in her own time, I'm sure she will," " when she's ready to talk to us." " So you're going to sit on your hands?" "Susan, Vicky's a sensible girl." "You may not like it, but she's old enough to do what she wants." "Well, I don't like it." "Gloria!" "Gloria!" "Aha!" "Lovejoy!" "My favorite rogue." "Mwah!" "Well, you look wonderful, as usual." " Drop of the hard stuff?" " No, no, no." "I've got to keep my wits about me around you, Gloria." " What are you after?" " Don't be so suspicious." "When I get an unannounced visit from an attractive younger man" "I have every right to be suspicious." "Then I shall reward your perspicacity with devastating frankness, my dear." "Are you still collecting Edward Lear parrots?" " Have you found a new one?" " I might have." " Bill about?" " He's playing golf in Marbella." "Mm." "It's always interesting when men ask me where my husband is." "Not that interesting, Gloria." "Still got the Spencelayh?" "Ah!" "Am I still collecting parrots and has Bill still got his Spencelayh?" "Mm?" "You want to exchange an Edward Lear parrot for Bill's Spencelayh, right?" "I wish I'd married a woman as understanding as you, Gloria." "Oh, so do I." "Anyway, the answer is yes." "Yes, I would consider such a swap but it had better be before Bill gets back from Spain." "Right." "I shall have that gin now." "Not a Spencelayh on the horizon, Lovejoy." "Never mind about that, now." "Find me an Edward Lear parrot." " An Edward Lear parrot?" " An Edward Lear parrot?" "An Edward Lear parrot." " They're harder to find than a Spencelayh." " Wendover's got one." " He'd never sell it to you." " Never say never, Tink." " You've just got to persuade him." " How do we do that?" "Find something he wants." "You've been talking to Mrs. Simpson." "Just get me an Edward Lear parrot." "We find what Wendover wants, exchange it for his Edward Lear parrot, take the parrot to Mrs. Simpson, she exchanges it for her husband's Spencelayh..." "Then we give the Spencelayh to Lady Jane..." "Who gives it to her uncle for his birthday." "Word perfect." "How are we supposed to know what Wendover wants?" "Use your imagination." "I can't do everything round here, can I?" "Any news on the Gertler?" "Bad news." "So your very, very nice lady friend's Gertler is a copy." " Yep." " So, made a mistake then, Lovejoy." "No." "Oh, we forgot to ask him about Vicky." " That's right." " We did that on purpose, did we?" "If he'd wanted us to know about Vicky, he would've told us about Vicky." "God." "Imagine this lot tramping through your home every day." "It's not a home, Jane, it's a business." "Brightman's probably making a fortune out of this lot." "You know, I resent a man with his money driving around in a car that I paid for." " You've paid for?" " Tax payer." " Well?" " Looks like the real thing but I'd love a closer look." "Be ready." "OK." "Excuse me, would you be able to tell me about this painting, please?" "OK, madam." "It looks like an artist who was locally born here." "Can you tell me the name?" " Sorry, madam, I don't know." " Oh, well, thank you, anyway." " How was it?" " Nothing wrong with that." " Are you sure?" " Course I'm sure." "I know you won't entertain the thought but it is possible that you did..." "No, no, no, I did not make a mistake, Jane." " Blinded by other interests..." " That is the Gertler, Bonnie's is the fake." "That means you authenticated the real painting." " In which case, your paramour..." " Paramour?" "Janey, we're friends." " We are friends." " OK, your friend, had the real painting at that point but now it's here," " so she must have a copy." " Exactly." "So your friend must know more than she's saying." "I'd like to speak to the people who sold it to my friend." " I'm going to the post, Mr. Rychards." " Take the key, dear." " Hello, Kay." " Lovejoy." "Just going out, I'm afraid." "What can I do for you?" "Place in Rittlesford's got your board on it." "Used to be an antiques shop." "Opening a shop, are you?" "Kay'll get the details for you." "I want to get in touch with the dealer who ran the shop." " I thought you might have his address." " That's confidential." " I have some information for him." " What would that be?" "It's confidential, Mr. Rychards." "Then I'm afraid I can't disclose his address." "Good day to you, Lovejoy." "Susan!" " Hello, Susan." " I've heard from Vicky." "Hello, Lovejoy." "That's great, Susan." "Is it?" "While you've been cruising around the countryside with your..." "Business partner?" "Slow down, Susan." "Come along, sit down." "Now, Vicky's phoned you." "That is terrific, isn't it?" "No, it's not." "She's moved into a new flat with a man." "Well, that's not the end of the world, is it?" "At her age, you and I were..." "This man is not her age." "What, is he a few years older?" "So it's perfectly natural for a young girl to be interested in an older man." "Is it?" "Well, this one is much older." "What is he, 30?" "35?" " Is he older?" " He's your age, Lovejoy." "Ha!" "The phone was ringing as I came in." "Susan would have a fit if she knew Vicky was confiding in you." "Vicky feels that her mother doesn't understand her." "Oh, and I will?" "Touchingly misplaced confidence, I agree." "But who knows?" "Perhaps your erratic Bohemian lifestyle has equipped you to understand your daughter when she may have done something foolish." " As if I didn't feel guilty enough." " Guilty?" "Why?" "It's obvious, isn't it?" "Over the years, I wasn't around that much, so now she's found a father figure." "Perhaps that's what she needs right now." "Perhaps." "I know it seems almost tactless to bring this up but..." "Uncle Willy's Spencelayh." " Because if we can't..." " We will find one." "I'll have to think of something else bloody quick." "When have I let you down?" " Hello, you." " Hi, Dad." "This is one of your trendy new haunts, then?" "I like it." "You know you've got your mother in a frenzy." "And she's driving me up the wall." "I'm not surprised." "I was a bit worried, too." "It would've been nice to have known about your move." " I don't have to ask your permission." " I know but it would've been nice to have known, then we could've talked it over." "Yeah." "We've never really had the chance to talk anything else over, have we?" "No." "But your mother... needs handling." "You know that, Vicky." "Cheers." "Here's to older men." "She's dead worried about that, you know." " And you're not?" " I've got an open mind on it." " Is he really my age?" " And what if he is, Dad?" "Can't you imagine yourself being with someone of my age?" " No." " Sarah thinks you're very attractive." "Is that what this is about?" "He's very attractive?" "Well, yeah, that's part of it." " David's..." " David." " David Herbert." " David Herbert." "He's just done so many things." "He's been all round the world." "He's in property, now." "Is he rich?" "Yeah, he's rich." "So why couldn't we meet at your new flat?" "Are you embarrassed or something?" "I suppose I am a bit embarrassed, yeah." "It's upstairs." "It's a penthouse." "A Chelsea Harbour penthouse." "He also owns a boat in the South of France." "Boat in the South of France." "It might be nice if we could all go down there." "Ooh, jolly!" "Give me a break, Vicky." " As long as you're happy, hmm?" " I am happy, Dad." "I'm very, very happy." "He's not like anyone my age." "He's interesting..." "He's a nice man and he's lovely to me." " Is he married?" " Yeah." "He was married." "She died." "Just don't think he found anyone that he really liked for a while." "How long have you known him?" "Three months now." "Do I get to meet him?" "He's here." "He's here now." "How do you do?" "Forgive me for not being here straightaway." "I supposed you waited to see if I'd hit the roof." "No, not at all." "I thought you'd want some time alone with Vicky and I thought she ought to explain things for herself first." "Yeah, well, she has." "Here we are." "Yes." "Well, I'm sure I'm not what you had in mind for her." "I didn't have anything in mind." "She tells me her mother is somewhat upset at the difference in our ages." " Oh, really?" " Yes, I know, I know." "I've got to be frank with you, I never dreamed this would happen to me." "But these things either work or they don't." " And this does work." " We care for each other a great deal and we've spent some time together in the past few months and we wanted try to live together to see what happens but obviously I want to be sure how you feel about the situation." "Confused." "Well, I'd like to think that we had your blessing." "I've never been asked for that before." "I want her to be happy." "I'd be very upset if she became unhappy." "So would I." "Drink?" " Hello, Kay." " Hello, Eric." "Come to buy me a drink?" "Er, how did you know?" " Holy Grail's on on Saturday night." " Gothic rock's not really my scene." "All right, then." "Who'd you want to go and see?" "I thought we might have a Chinese, then go back to my place and watch a video." " Ooh, big spender!" " Ah, I think it's important not to spend a lot of money when you're starting a er... friendship." "It gives the girl the wrong impression." "What, that she might think that you've got money?" " Well, I might have." " And the Pope might be an Eskimo." "Listen, Kay, I need a favor." " On Saturday night, you mean?" " (Laughs) No, now." "I need to know who rented the antiques shop over in Rittlesford." " Ask Mr. Rychards." " Well, Lovejoy already has." "That's why you're taking me out, because Rychards wouldn't tell Lovejoy?" "Oh, come on, Kay." "Would I waste..." "Would I spend a Saturday night with you just for that?" "I wouldn't be surprised." "What, invite you into the privacy of my own home and all that?" "Come on." " But I do need to know about that shop." " If he finds out, Rychards'll kill me." "No." "I just drifted into it." "I bought a building for the restaurant premises and found that the real money was in selling the building again." "And I've just gone on doing it since." " As easy as that." " No, not really but that's the official story." "Ah, Vicky." "You know, sooner or later, you're gonna have to see your mother." "And she's gonna want to meet David." "And if you want to make my life easier... would you please make it sooner?" "Sure." "I knew you'd like him, that's why I wanted you to meet first." " Are you gonna come along as well?" " I wouldn't miss it for the world." "(Oinking)" "You've wasted your time coming all the way out here, Tinker." "I'm not wasting my time, Mr. Wendover." "I love communing with nature." "Glad to hear it cos you won't be communing with my Edward Lear parrot." "I wasn't offering to buy it because I knew that you wouldn't consider selling it." " What are you doing here, then?" " I thought I'd offer something in exchange." " What might that be?" " I thought I'd let you guide me in that." "There's only one thing I'd even consider exchanging that parrot for." "I know I'm giving you a hard time but it isn't natural for a 19-year-old to live with a man of that age." "I can't help thinking if I'd spent more time with her, if we'd had a different life together, I..." "I just feel responsible." "Susan, we did what we wanted." "We were kids." "Vicky's made her decision, I think we should support her." "All right." "I'll meet him." "With a good heart?" "With a good heart." "Good." "Anyway, I don't think this is a lifetime arrangement." "Why not?" "Just an instinct." "This is gonna cost you, Lovejoy." "Is that the info on the owner of the shop?" " Right." " Get yourself a couple of beers, Eric." "This price of this information is two tickets to the Holy Grail concert." "You don't like Gothic rock." "Well, I know, but to get the information I had to promise to take Kay, didn't I?" " Very, very nice girl." " That's not the point." "I'm not using my money to pay to see the Holy Grail." "This is blackmail, Eric." "No, this is legitimate business expenses, Lovejoy." "Thank you." "Queston Fine Arts Gallery, Great Barfield." "How do you know it's Gothic rock, anyway?" "(Humming)" "So you liked David Herbert?" "I wouldn't want to share a flat with him but yeah, he's OK." "Was he as decrepit as we heard?" "I would say he was a man in the prime of his life." "Ah." "So he was the same age as you, then?" "(Whistle blows)" "(Jane) Queston Fine Arts." "I wonder why they closed the gallery in Rittlesford?" " Hello." "My name's Jez." "Can I help?" " We're just having a look around, thanks." "We were driving past and saw your shop and thought how pretty it was." "We do need some pictures for the house, so I said to my husband," ""Why don't we stop and have a look in here?" and so we did." "Well, please, wander round." "I'm here if you need me." "Thought you were gonna tell him our life history." "I was just trying to be convincing." "That's more than this is." "Or this." "Copies?" "Hmm." "This is the real thing." "Excuse me." "I like this." "How much is it?" "Ah!" "That's sold, I'm afraid." "Oh." "You liked this one, darling, didn't you?" "That's waiting to be collected, too, I'm afraid." "We should move them but they make the shop attractive, as if we've got more stock than we really have, so we keep them on view." "Ah, yes, this rather caught my eye, didn't it yours, George?" " (Mouths)" " Ah, now." "That is available." "And how much is it available for?" " 25,000." " £25,000?" "Well, Munnings painted very few landscapes, you know." "And he is enjoying a resurgence of fashionability." "I didn't even know it was an Annings." "(Both) Munnings." "I'm afraid your stuff is all a little bit pricy for our pocket." "Oh, we have cheaper things." "Please - just browse around." "Thank you." "(Mouths)" " The copies are all sold." " And the real pictures are available." " There's something weird going on." " Weird and ingenious." "Jez Brightman." "Any relation, do you think?" "Janey." "Cleaning and restoration." "(Ignition)" "Yeah." "Yeah, this one will do." "I like that the way it is." "Yeah?" "Well George thinks it needs a clean." " Have you got something for me?" " Could you have a look at it?" "Fine." "Very fine." "But you're right, it does need a clean-up." "I know, but I had rather got used to it dirty." "Well, people do prefer what they've got used to but I think you've got to take the attitude that the artist who painted it knew best how he wanted it to look." " Just how different will it look?" " Not too much, not this one." "These areas here, well, they'll lighten up a bit." "You see, it's probably spent years in a room with a coal fire, that usually does it." "How do you learn all this?" "I've often wondered about that." " I mean, you seem so young." " Do I?" "I started out as a painter, went to the Royal College." " Are you from an artistic family?" " Nah." "My dad's a cabbie." "I had all these romantic ideas about being a painter." "They soon died a death on the floor of the Catford DHSS, so then I got into this game." "Reliable work, good money." "It's absolutely fascinating." "Do you still paint?" "Not after a day in this place." "So, what's your name and address, darling?" "Thank you." "Ah..." "Thanks." "Is Mr. Herbert in his office?" "OK." "I'm afraid Mr. Herbert's not in his office." "Oh, well." "Just passing." "Mr. Herbert's secretary has asked me to ask you if you'd like an appointment." "Some other time, perhaps." "Some other time, he said." " Good morning, madam." " Morning." "Mrs. Herbert." "You dropped this just now." " Thank you, sir." " That was the ex-Mrs." "Herbert, wasn't it?" "That still is Mrs. Herbert, sir." "Oh, yeah." "Yeah, yeah." "Very tanned and fit, isn't she?" "So would you if you lived in the South of France, sir." "Yeah, I would, wouldn't I?" "Yes, very professional." "Full of native South London charm." "He went to the Royal College but realized his true destiny was making money." "Now he lives in a modernized cottage in the village and drives a Porsche." ""When I'm not driving the van, darlin'."" " You liked him." " Mm." "He was very good-looking." "Mm." " The young Jez Brightman." " Mm?" "Was up on drugs charges a year ago." "Lucky to get away with a suspended sentence." " So strings were pulled?" " Really, Janey!" ""Jez Brightman, 28-year-old film producer..."?" "While he was at college - the Royal College of Art." "Film studies." "Ah!" " Same college as your good-looking friend." " At the same time." "No doubt." "Mm." "Oh." "The deceased Mrs. Herbert." "No, the very much alive and kicking and living in Cap Ferrat Mrs. Herbert." "So David Herbert isn't such a knight in shining armor." "Well, he is separated." "That's something, I suppose." "I wonder he told Vicky she was dead." "I'll bet you he told her that when he first met her," " either to get sympathy or..." " To get her into bed." "He can hardly bring her back to life and tell Vicky." " Are you going to tell Vicky?" " I've got to." "I agree." "But I don't envy you the task." "Mm." "While I'm plucking up the courage... let's sort out young Mr. Brightman." " (Unlocking)" " I'll put the tea on," " you get the firm's board out." " Right." " How'd you get on with that dealer?" " It's under control." " What about Wendover?" " Under negotiation." "Do the deal, get me that parrot." "Yes, sir!" "Who's a pretty boy, then?" "Hello, hello." "Oh, hello." "I'd like to see Mr. Brightman, please." " Is he expecting you, sir?" " Show him this." "I don't think it'll be a problem." "I was curious to know exactly what sort of con you say my son was planning." "Not planning, Mr. Brightman, he's already done it!" "Quite a few times and he's still at it." "If I were you I'd be very careful how you continue." "I shall assist my son in pursuing any false allegations through the courts." "Oh, yes, young Jeremy's got some experience of them, hasn't he?" " But nothing like he's gonna get." " You have 30 seconds" " and then I shall call the police." " Sir Alfred Munnings." "The real thing." "And it's been cleaned recently by your son's friend Mr. McKinley." "And if it has?" "Your son's swindle is one of the sweetest abuses of privilege I've come across." "He must have persuaded you to have every painting in this house cleaned, right?" "Then, while they're being cleaned, the talented Mr. McKinley copies them." "Then your son puts the real painting into one of his shops." "I know this because a friend of mine asked me to check out a painting she'd been offered by your son." "It was the real thing." "The one she took home wasn't." "You see, they switched it." "They switched the real thing for one of Mr. McKinley's very, very good copies." "Then they brought the real picture, which had been cleaned, back here." "The picture that they swindled my friend over is the Gertler." "It's very foolish of you coming here with such a ridiculous story." "Ridiculous?" "I think it was a terrific scam." "You'll be hearing from our lawyers first thing." "Did you hear me?" "I said "was"." "I intend to close down this upper-class rip-off." "Well, let's have a look at it, then." " This weighs a ton." " Just drag it out." "Oh, yeah, brilliant, Jez, and wreck the bleedin' frame." "Sod the frame." "Do you need a hand?" " Who the hell are you?" " He's the one who caused all this trouble." "Lovejoy's the name, sleuthing's the game." "Don't tell me, Jez, let me take a wild guess." "You dad called, told you to get rid of the evidence." "Came in the other day under false pretences, pretending to be a customer." " So what, you gonna call the police?" " We ain't done nothing illegal here." " No?" " Nor anywhere you can prove anything." "This is private property, pal." "I advise you to go." "I keep being told to leave places today." "Yeah?" "While you still can." "Know what I mean?" " I've got other evidence, anyway." " What other bloody evidence?" "Not a good idea." "Go on, Matt." "Wouldn't do any good." "You stupid..." "So you sold the Gertler back to Brightman?" "Bonnie got an offer she couldn't refuse." " It was a lot of money." " More than you paid for it?" "A hell of a lot more." " Can't Bonnie answer?" " Don't come the heavy hand with me." "You might remember you're in somebody else's home." "Andrew, can you give us a moment?" "Bonnie, you don't understand what was going on." "The Gertler I looked at for you, that was the real thing, the one hanging in this house wasn't." "They switched them on you." "You were conned." "Well, how do you make that out?" "We just sold it for a huge profit." "It doesn't matter." "I was going to use the fake to prove what Brightman was up to." "I'm sorry." "Means I can buy Andrew a car." "Happy motoring." " Go away!" " Vicky, will you let me in?" "This is all your fault!" "What's all my fault?" "Will you please let me in?" "Vicky!" "What is it that's all my fault?" "This is what's all your fault, Dad." "Yours and Mum's." "David's left me." ""Although..."" ""The difference in our ages..."" ""Don't want to ruin your life..."" ""You can stay here as long as you like."" "You made him leave me, didn't you, Dad?" "You didn't even like him." "I didn't get to know him well enough to make up my mind." "Anyway, I wouldn't go behind your back, you know that." "Do I?" "Well, it must've been Mum then, mustn't it?" "Vicky!" "She wouldn't do it, either." "I mean, we were both worried about you." "We both know how difficult it is to keep any kind of a relationship going." "I mean, you put in an extra problem like the difference in the ages..." " It wasn't a problem." " It's in his letter, Vicky." "He was terrific, Dad." "I've never felt so good with someone before, ever." "I don't know why he left me, we were getting on so well." "He could've spoken to me rather than just leaving it for me in a letter." "What do you want to do?" "You don't want to stay here, do you?" "I can't throw Sarah out, can I?" "Stay with me?" " Mum?" " No." "What about Janey, hm?" "You like her, don't you, eh?" "It'll only be for a couple of weeks, plenty of time for Sarah to find somewhere else." " Will she have me?" " Of course she will." "Might not be a good idea, though." "You'll both gang up on me, eh?" "It's excellent." "Thank you very much." "Thank you, ma'am." "Thank you very much." "How's that scoundrel Lovejoy?" "Still scoundreling." "Sophie." "Herbert!" " Lovejoy." "I was going to call you." " Were you?" "Yes." "I didn't know what to say." "I've made rather a fool of myself." "You did." "Why did you tell my daughter your wife was dead?" "Six months ago I was deeply depressed." "Problems with the business, my marriage was breaking up." "And then I met Vicky." "My life seemed to start all over again." "I didn't know what I was doing." "But then I met you, and I woke up." "I mean, I could see how crazy it was, I was so embarrassed, there was no possibility of it working out and actually, I'm going back to my wife." "Who's this?" "This er... is my daughter." "So they just get away with it?" "Nobody gets away with anything." "Restitution has been made in full, including the return of Lady Felsham's painting, which has been cleaned at no cost." "And your friend in Hampstead has made a handsome profit." "McKinley's business is closed." "Queston Fine Arts Gallery is closed... and it will not reopen." "What about Jez and McKinley?" "They'll have to start their lives all over again." "So they screw everybody in sight and they get rewarded with a second chance." "Yes." "A second chance for two young men who are not fundamentally bad." "They're not fundamentally bad, just fundamentally bent." " This was all your son's idea, you know." " Yes." "And he is my son." "Yeah, well, that's a cross you'll have to bear, Brightman." "I don't think you've any cause to be upset, Lovejoy." "I just hate that they're free to do it again." "Yes, but if it wasn't for you, they'd still be at it." "You've put them out of business and nobody's lost any money." "I wish you'd done as well for Uncle Willy." "We have." " What?" "!" " Ta-da!" "Wonderful!" " How did you manage to get this?" " What did you give Wendover?" "What about if we go for a drink, Lady Jane, to celebrate?" " What did you give Wendover?" " We'll explain later."