"Harper?" "What are you doing?" "Why do you have your own Career Day booth?" "Everyone's always telling me to be myself, so that's what I'm doing." "Are you interested in a fascinating career in being me?" "I'll be you if you be me." "Never mind." "Alex!" "Have you seen the Action News booth?" "I've got to find it before someone signs Baxter Knight as their mentor." "Baxter Knight, the weatherman?" "That's who you're choosing as a mentor?" "He's not a weatherman." "He's like a weather hero." "His earmuff alerts have saved me from many an earache." "Luckily, those earmuffs have saved you from hearing people say what a doofus you look like with them on." "I wish I was wearing them right now." "Oh!" "There's Baxter." "So, my little friend, being a weatherman is the only career here where you get to be on TV." "Does that sound like something you'd like to do?" "Mr. Knight." "I'm Justin Russo." "I'm a huge fan." "I've been following you ever since you introduced Mr. Nimbus, your cloud hand." "Put on your galoshes." "It's gonna be a wet one." "With the rain." "You remember Mr. Nimbus." "Kid, you want a mentor?" "Do I have Mr. Nimbus pajamas made out of cloud curtains?" "I do." "Oh my gosh!" "There's one of the many singing policemen who does a lot of singing at ball games and stuff." "Leaving, Miss Russo?" "And which career counselor have you roped in?" "Well, Mr. Laritate, you know what I wish?" "I wish you were available to be a mentor, because you have all the qualities I'm looking for in a mentor." "You're a "men"" "which is in the word "mentor."" "And bolo tie." "Nice tap dancing, Bojangles." "Tell you what I'm gonna do." "I'll take you up on that offer." "Let's mosey on down to the principal's office." "Deputy." "Well, suppose I was gonna end up there at some point anyway." "Dad, guess what?" "Someone's been putting two pickle spears in the to-go orders." "Not even close." "Today was Career Day at school..." "Two pickle spears?" "Outrageous." "This has Mom's sloppy but generous fingerprints all over it." "That's it." "No more pickles." "She's ruined it for everyone." "Baxter Knight!" " What are you doing here?" " Hey, Justin." "I had some time before the evening news..." "And I wanted to come by and tell you that" " I can't be your mentor." " Why not?" "You need someone successful." "I haven't nailed a forecast in months." "I've been letting everyone down:" "Commuters, roofers, people with perms." "Oh, come on." "It's not that bad." "If I don't get the next forecast right they're going to fire me." "Oh!" "Where'd you hear that?" "One of the weathermen sitting in the lobby with their resumes." "Look, kid, take a tip from Mr. Nimbus." "Never love anything too much." "It will eventually disappoint you." "Dad, is that true?" "Does everything eventually disappoint you?" "Most things." "But then you find the one thing that doesn't and you marry her." "And then she puts two pickles in the to-go orders." "And you..." "You start to wonder." "You're absolutely right, Max." "Singing and the law are very similar." "You come in strong and rely on your backups to do most of the work." "Singing is just a hobby of mine." "I don't mix it with police work." "Why?" "But you're a great policeman and a great singer." "When you find two things that you're great at, you got to do both." "It shows you're a genius." "Take a platypus for example:" "Great at being a duck." "Great at being a fish." "Well, it's not that simple." "You see, I'm afraid if I mixed my singing with my police work the other guys will never take me seriously as a cop." "Yes, they will." "What's not serious about:" "âª You have the right âª âª to remain âª âª silent âª" "I have to hog-tie a few loose ends." "Why don't you and your ironic mug have a seat?" "The place I bought it from said they'd put my picture on it for five more bucks." "You want to go in halfsies?" "No, OK." "Have you seen this graffiti around school?" "It seems someone keeps writing the word" ""salmon" under the no smoking signs." "As my new deputy these are the sort of varmints" "I need your help to wrangle in." "It's not that hard." "Look at the way "salmon" is written." "Remember last year when someone wrote "Sal" on all the lunch tables?" "It's the same handwriting." "Look, the marker smudges mean he's left handed, drags his hand across what he's written." "Lefty Sal's your guy." "There's no one named Lefty Sal." "Don't ruin my moment." "Just don't." "It's the Sal that's left handed." "Amazing." "I haven't seen detective work like this since Miami Vice went off the air." "Now, get to work on this caseload, Crockett." "But Mr. Laritate, I thought mentoring might be like you and me figuring out the new school holidays." "Nope." "Nowadays we let the courts decide those." "By the way feel free to call me Tubbs." "Don't worry, we do." "Excellent." "Oh!" "Baxter's on." "Here's the deal, New Yorkians." "Tonight, there will be a chance of snow." "Back to you, Doug." ""Chance of snow?" No." "Clear and mild." ""A chance of snow."" "Wow." "You really put yourself out there." "OK." "You want me to put myself out there?" "Well." "Fine." "Come on, clear and mild." "Clear and mild." "I've got nothing to lose." "There will be snow in exactly half the city." "It's gonna be split right down Waverly Place." "Aw." "He said our street name." "Now let me make a prediction." "We'll be looking for a new weatherman tomorrow." "Half of New York City?" "OK." "OK." "If Baxter loses his job, it will be a pity." "Let's have snow over half of New York City." "Congratulations, Deputy Russo." "Thanks to you, I made quite the round up this morning." "Mayonnaise in the soap dispensers." "Clever." "But not clever enough for Crockett and Tubbs." "I never knew there were kids worse than me in school." "It's fun to solve crimes and get new ideas at the same time." "Well, do you have anything new for me?" "I sure do." "Underwear on the statue." "Solved." "Hallway of thumb tacks." "Solved." "Substitute teacher monkey." "Solved." "That was a hard one, wasn't it?" "Not really." "Once you realized it was a wig and he was holding the chalk with his foot." "That was a really good wig." "Keep up the good work, Russo." "You make an excellent protÃ©gÃ©." "Thank you, Mr. Laritate." "Oh, yeah." "Thanks, Tubbs." "Uh, Harper?" "What are you doing?" "Oh." "I'm just showing my protÃ©gÃ© how to rush through halls fast, so you don't hear the laughter." "And, go." " Hey, Russo." " Hey, Sal." "Did you grow in between P.E. and now?" "You're so tall." "Hey." "Because of you, Laritate busted me for writing "no smoking salmon."" "That guy hates signs." "Or salmon!" "No." "Mr. Laritate hates when people break the rules." "I never thought I'd see the day when Alex Russo went good." "Mr. Knight?" "What's going on?" "I'll tell you what's going on." "I am back." "My willy nilly predictions have been spot on." "A heat wave on Sixty-Seventh." "A blizzard on Sixty-Eighth." "No matter what I say, it all turns out to be true." "I know." "I got a sun burn on the way to my guitar lesson and a cold on the way back." "Sorry, kid." "I don't make the weather." "I know." "I do." " Let's do this." " Look, Mr. Knight" "I'm happy you're getting your weather predictions right, but don't you think you should consult a weather satellite, or a barometer, or that temperature sign above the bank?" "Something?" "No need, kid." "I'm going with my gut." "Seems to be working." "Oh, I'm on." "Excuse me." "Thanks, Doug." "I am here on Waverly Place at the site of the historic fifty-fifty snowstorm." "Tonight, friends, brace yourselves for, uh some hail." "Yeah, hail." "Why not?" "And not just any hail." "It's gonna be the size of candied yams." "The size of candied yams?" "Seriously?" "Sorry." "Don't let Baxter Knight fail." "Make me some candied yam hail." "What do you think you're doing, messing with the weather?" "Who are you?" "Um?" "Mother Nature." "Mother Nature?" "I thought you were supposed to be all like natural, with sandals and birds flying around you?" "I used to dress like that but nobody took me seriously." "And what I wear to work is my business." "I am here to talk about you." "Come here." "Now, why would you mess with the delicate balance of the Earth's weather patterns?" "Do you know how much I work to maintain this planet?" "Three days a week?" "I don't know." "It was my best guess." "You asked, I answered." "I was trying to help my mentor." "He's a meteorologist." "And what's with the hail?" "How does that help anybody?" "Free ice!" "I'm getting free ice!" "Mrs. Nature." "Mother." " I'm really sorry." " I'm sorry, too." " About what?" " That." "Be grateful." "That could have been a wildfire." "One of Harper's most important jobs is delivering news to Alex." "Alex, do you know what's going on?" "They put this Good Citizenship award on your locker." "A Good Citizenship award?" "That's low." "Harper, you've got to help me." "If I don't stop being good, one day I'm gonna wake up and be a doctor, or even worse, the guy who drives the back end of a fire truck." "Oh, you've got to help me." " What do we do?" " I don't know." "I can erase your tardy sheet." "Never been tardy." "You know the end of every year I buy myself an ice cream cake?" "It's for no tardies." "You should be taking notes." "How about you take this picture of all these horses?" "Oh, its a mural." "It's painted right on the wall." "How about you get me the key to the teachers' bathroom?" "Don't write that down." "Fine." "I guess it's a start." "Hold on a second." "I don't read." "Alex, don't!" "What do you want?" "Whoa, it's just raining on you." "Wow, I kind of wish I had something to do with that." "I used magic to help Baxter with his weather predictions." "Mother Nature caught me." "This is my punishment." "Wait a minute." "You used magic to do something sneaky, and now you're coming to me to help you get out of it?" "Feels good, doesn't it?" "Except for this part right." "Are you gonna help me or not?" "Listen, I don't know how it happened, but I've turned good." "So, you're like a day late, buddy." "Just help me, please!" "I'm begging you." "Fine." "I'll help you." "Lean away from the window." "I don't want you to get stains on Mr. Laritate's cowhide throw." "Man, the good just doesn't stop." "How did you get Mother Nature here before?" "I don't know." "I just messed with the weather and she showed up." "What he did." "Sweet potato hell?" "Are you kidding me?" "We talked about this?" "I can give you your own personal earthquake, you know?" "Hi." "You must be Mother Nature." "Sorry about the hail." "We just didn't know how to contact you." "Listen, Mother Nature, love your work." "Big fan of this, really." "But I don't think it's enough." "Oh, really?" "He's sopping wet, and there's no chance of him getting dry." "Sure, he's wet." "What's the best we could hope for?" "I just think he needs a more severe punishment." "All right!" "I'm de-asking you to help me right now!" "Shh." "Are you packing lightning?" "Because I think about thirty gazillion volts will do him just fine." "Give me a sec." " Is this your sister?" " Yes." "OK." "I think you've been punished enough." "Now, listen guys..." "I may have overreacted just a little bit, but things aren't going great with me and I need your help." "Is it the dating trouble?" "Because I can really help you with that." "No, Alex, she's talking about the environment." "You people need to understand that this is a delicate system." "Every time you mess with the weather, it effects somewhere else." "I think I found your dating problem." "It's just non-stop talking about the weather, isn't it?" "No." "What Mother Nature is trying to say is that instead of messing with the Earth, we should be helping it." "Like recycling, or carpooling for less pollution..." "We can help you with that stuff." "I don't know if you've heard, but I recently turned good." "Hey, did you see that?" "You stay here." "I'll handle this." "This could get dangerous." "Use your voice baton." "It's your most powerful weapon." "âª Stop I know you took Too many papers âª âª You only get one âª âª Don't even think About running âª âª You're not that cunning âª" "âª You'll never No, never âª âª No, never Get away âª" "Officer Bryan, you let him get away." "There was no..." "There was nothing I could..." "There was nothing I could do." "What happened to your voice?" "I don't know." "It must have something to do with getting hit by this vegetable shaped piece of hail." "And I need a mentor that can do two things." "Now, if you'll excuse me," "I'm going to go to the zoo and find me a platypus." "That guy's a real genius." "Well, there's my little deputy." "Yep." "People are gonna have to get used to it." "I'm just a good person." "Are you?" "Your friend Harper, and some seventh grader dressed just like her, were caught coming out of the teachers' restroom." "She's in a wagonload of trouble." "Great." "Everyone's in trouble but me." "Wait a minute." "I'm the one who gave her the key." "And that's bad." "Everyone's in trouble because of me." "I am bad again!" "Fair enough." "You'll be getting one month detention." "A month?" "That's not fair." "Sal got a warning, and he vandalized half the school." "Maybe it doesn't seem fair, but there's a method to all this." "See, I fit the punishment to the person not the crime." "Your method is just busting me to the full extent of your made-up laws." "Oh." "Alex popped her gum." "Let's make her stay back a grade or explain email to senior citizens." "I understand how it may seem." "But the truth is, there's nothing I can do to get through to Sal and the others." "But you, Miss Russo, I haven't given up on." "See, I believe there's evil." "And there's evil genius." "Really?" "You think I'm an evil genius?" "That's so sweet." "Now, you'll have to turn in your theoretical deputy's badge." "That was weird and meaningless." "It was symbolic." "Another one of my methods." "Now get out!" "Let's see how Baxter is doing without me." "And in other news," "I am sad to report that my colleague and dear, dear friend Baxter Knight has entered into a suggested retirement." "If you see him and he says it was a forced retirement..." "He's a liar." "He was fired." "There will never be anyone as good as Baxter Knight." "And on a lighter note, I am happy to introduce our newest weatherperson, Heather Nakatomi." "Oh, brother." "Heather Nakatomi?" "Wow." "Eh, Baxter will be fine."