"Friends, family, we're gathered to celebrate..." "... thejoyousunionofRoss andEmily ." "Now Ross, repeat after me." ""I, Ross. "" "I, Ross." ""Take thee, Emily. "" "Take thee, Rachel." "Shall I go on?" "He said "Rachel," right?" "Do you think I should go up there?" "Yes." "Yes." "Do go on." "I think we'd better start again." "Repeat after me." ""I, Ross. "" "I, Ross." ""Take thee, Emily. "" "Take thee, Emily." "Like there'd be anybody else." ""As my lawfully wedded wife, in sickness and in health..." "... tilldeathpartsus. "" "As my lawfully wedded wife, in sickness and in health..." "... untildeathpartsus." "Really, I do." "Emily." "Do you have the rings?" "Place this ring on Ross' finger..." "... asa symbolof  your bond everlasting." "Ross, place this ring..." "... onEmily'shandasa symbol..." "... ofthelovethat encircles you forever." "Happy to." "They have made their declarations..." "... anditgivesmegreatpleasure to declare them husband and wife." "You may kiss the bride." "This is worse than when he married the lesbian." "Just keep smiling." "Well, that went well." "It could've been worse." "He could've shot her." "That was pretty funny, wasn't it?" "The One After Ross Says "Rachel"" "English Subtitles by GELULA  CO., INC." "You spoiled everything!" "It's a nightmare!" "My friends and family are out there!" "How can I face them?" "No matter what happens with them..." "... westillgetcake,right?" "That's all right." "You take your time." "I'll be right out here." "She's just fixing her makeup." "I hate you!" "And I love you!" "A bad time to say the wrong name, huh?" "That's true." "Thanks, Dad." "People should be dancing." "This is a party!" "Come on!" "Joey!" "Dance!" "Yes, Waltham lnteriors." "This is Ross Geller's personal physician, Dr. Filangie." "Who?" "I discovered that Ross forgot to take his brain medicine." "Without it, in the brain of Ross..." "... women'snamesareinterchangeable." "Through no fault of his own." "Oh, my God!" "Phoebe." "No, not Phoebe." "Dr. Filangie." "Oh, no!" "You have it too!" "I hope you don't take this the wrong way..." "... butI knowwe hadplans to meet up tonight." "I'm worried about what it might do to our friendship." "I know." "How could we have let this happen?" "Seven times!" "You know, look." "We were away." "In a foreign, romantic country." "I blame London." "Bad London!" "So, look..." "... whilewe'restillinLondon, we can keep doing it, right?" "Well, I don't see that we have a choice." "But when we're back home, we don't do it." "Only here." "You know, I saw a wine cellar downstairs." "I'll meet you there in two minutes." "Mon?" "I got to ask you something." "Now?" "Ross said my name." "I can't just pretend it didn't happen." "I don't know." "Monica, what should I do?" "Just do the right thing." "Tow the line!" "Thread the needle!" "Think outside the box!" "I'll talk to Ross about what he thinks it meant." "Wait!" "Rachel, no." "He's married." "Married." "If you don't realize that, I can't help you." "Okay." "You're right." "You're right." "You can't help me." "Jack, is it all our fault?" "Were we bad parents?" "Who serves steak when there's no place to sit?" "How are you supposed to eat this?" "Hey, what's up?" "We were supposed to meet." "Forget it." "That's off." "Why?" "The next tour of the wine cellar..." "... willcommencein twominutes." "Joey, what are you doing?" "You promised, no meat till Phoebe has the babies." "We're in another country, so it doesn't count." "True." "He's got a point." "I'm sorry things aren't working out." "It could be better." "It'll be okay, right?" "Oh, yeah!" "Of course." "She'll get over this." "So you said my name." "You just said it because you saw me there." "If you'd seen a circus freak, you would've said:" ""I take thee, Circus Freak. "" "It didn't mean anything." "It's a mistake." "It didn't mean anything." "Right?" "Oh, no!" "Of course it didn't "mean" anything." "I can understand why Emily thought it meant something..." "... becauseitwasyou ." "But it absolutely didn't." "It didn't!" "It didn't!" "The band's ready for your first dance with Emily." "Oh!" "The band's ready!" "We got to do what the band says." "I don't care about the stupid band!" "You spit on me, man!" "I'm sorry." "Emily is taking kind of a long time." "When I locked myself up at my wedding..." "... Iwastryingtopop the window out of the frame." "Get the hell out of there." "You know?" "I'm coming in!" "Oh, look at that." "Same thing." "In the middle of everything, if I scream "Yippee! ", just ignore me." "Oh, my God!" "Rachel!" "Oh, hello, Rachel." "Ross said my name." "Okay?" "My name!" "Ross said my name up there." "That obviously means he still loves me!" "Don't believe me." "I know I'm right." "Do you guys want to go and get a drink?" "Yes, we do." "But we have to change first." "Yes, I want to change." "Go get a table." "We'll only be five minutes." "Fifteen minutes." "Oh, Pheebs!" "It's Phoebe!" "Oh, hey, hey." "Oh, great." "So what happened?" "Well, Ross said my name." "But I don't think that means anything." "Let's look at this objectively." "Ninth grade, right?" "The obsession starts." "Then he sees me in a two-piece for the first time." "His obsession begins to grow, right?" "Why don't we go change in my room?" "My clothes are... ." "Wow, you look" "No time for that." "Hey, dude!" "Let me in!" "I got a girl out here!" "I got a girl in here!" "No, you don't." "I saw you go in with Monica." "Well, we're hanging out." "Which one of us will be having sex in there?" "Me or you?" "I suppose I would have to say you." "What if we're watching a movie?" "Which we are!" "And we've paid for it." "It's My Giant." "My Giant ?" "I love that movie!" "Think this is okay?" "Well, Ross and Emily aren't going to use it." "Oh, it's so beautiful!" "I don't feel right about this." "This is the honeymoon suite." "The room expects sex." "The room would be disappointed if it didn't get sex." "All the other honeymoon suites would think it was a loser." "Nope!" "Not under here!" "You didn't find her?" "I've looked everywhere." "You couldn't have, or you would've found her." "Keep looking!" "Yeah!" "For about 30 minutes?" "Or forty-five?" "In 45 minutes, you could find her twice." "For all I know, she's trying to find me but couldn't because I kept moving." "From now on, I'm staying in one place." "Right here." "It's getting late." "We're going to go." "Do you guys mind staying here for a while?" "We got to get up early and catch that plane." "Yeah, it's a very large plane." "That's cool." "But we'll stay here with you." "Thanks, guys!" "I really appreciate this, but you don't need to rub my butt." "We have to leave in an hour." "I know." "I've been looking at those doors." "They look pretty soundproof, don't you think?" "We can't do that." "That's insane." "I mean, A, he could wake up." "And B, you know..." "... let'sgoforit." "Nope." "She's not with us." "We've come for her things." "Where is she?" "She's in hiding." "She's humiliated." "She doesn't want to see you again." "We're very sad that it didn't work out between you and Emily, monkey." "But I think you're absolutely delicious!" "Excuse me, I'm standing right here." "Oh, yes." "There you are." "Hurry up!" "Get some!" "There's a whole cart outside." "Goodbye, Geller." "Now, hold on." "Hold on." "Your daughter and I are supposed to leave tonight for our honeymoon." "Tell her I'll be at that airport, and I hope she will too." "I said Rachel's name, but it didn't mean anything." "She's just a friend." "Tell Emily I love her and..." "... Ican'timaginespendingmylife with anyone else." "Please, promise me that you'll tell her that." "All right, I'll tell her." "Come on, bugger face!" "Call me." "You spend your life in the bathroom." "Why do you never go out the window?" "Maybe it's best we never got to do it again." "Yeah, it kind of makes that one night special." "Technically, we still are over international waters." "I'm going to the bathroom." "Maybe I'll see you there?" "Can I ask you something?" "Felicity and I watched My Giant." "And I thought..." "... I'llneverbe as goodanactor as that giant." "Do you think I'm wasting my life with this acting thing?" "The giant's five years younger than me." "You think I'll ever get there?" "Thanks, man." "Okay, man." "But what about how much taller he is than me?" "I mean, there's no way I can make myself taller now." "Who knows what science will come up with in the future..." "... butwhatif Idie anunsuccessful, regular-size man?" "You've been in the bathroom for a half-hour." "I know!" "Had the beef tips, huh?" "You ate meat!" "You had sex!" "No, we didn't." "I know you didn't." "I was talking about Monica." "I did not have sex." "This pregnancy is throwing me all off." "I'll say "hi" to the chick and duck." "Me too!" "Why would you need to?" "You've been feeding them." "Oh, right." "Maybe I'll just go home." "We certainly are alone." "Good thing we have that "not New York" rule." "Listen, since we're on that subject..." "... Ijustwantedtotell youthat...." "I was going through a hard time in London..." "... withmybrothergettingmarriedand that guy thinking I was Ross' mother." "Well, anyway, I just... ." "That night meant a lot to me." "And I'm trying to say thanks." "You know, that night meant a lot to me too." "It wasn't because I was in a bad place or anything." "It just meant a lot because you're really hot." "Is that okay?" "That's okay." "And I'm cute too?" "And you're cute too!" "Thank you." "All right, I got to go unpack." "I'm still on London time." "Does that count?" "Oh, that counts!" "Oh, good!" "What are you doing here?" "I've been on standby for a flight home for hours." "So no sign of Emily?" "Not yet." "When do you have to leave?" "This is the last call for flight 1066 to Athens." "The last call." "Pretty soon, I guess." "I'm sorry." "I don't understand." "How could she do this?" "Am I a complete idiot for thinking she'd actually show up?" "You're not an idiot, Ross." "You're a guy very much in love." "Same difference." "All passengers for flight 1066 to Athens should now be on board." "I get it!" "Well, that's that." "No, you know what?" "I think you should go." "I think you should go..." "... byyourself." "Get some distance." "Clear your head." "It would be really good." "I don't know." "Come on." "It would be really good for you." "I could do that." "I can't even believe her." "You know what?" "I am going to go." "Good." "Why not?" "Right?" "Right." "Thanks." "I'll see you back at home." "If I ever get a flight out of here." "What?" "Wait, what?" "Why don't you come?" "I mean, I have two tickets." "Why not?" "Well, I don't know, Ross." "Really?" "Yeah." "It'd be great." "I mean, you can... ." "You can lay on the beach..." "... andI cancryover my failed marriage." "You see how I make jokes?" "Really." "I mean... ." "I could use a friend." "Oh, wow." "Maybe." "Yes, I can do that!" "Cool." "All right, cool." "Okay, we're going to Greece." "I forgot my jacket!" "Well, you tell them to wait." "Wait!" "Wait!" "I'll have a glass of Merlot..." "... andhe'llhave a wine spritzer." "Look!" "The airport's moving." "Are we moving?" "Are we?" "Why are we moving?" "Does the captain know that we're moving?" "Oh, my gosh!" "You look cute in bubbles." "You're just all liquored up." "Hey, it's me." "I'm coming in." "I've had a very long, hard day." "Want some chicken?" "No, thanks." "No chicken." "Bye-bye." "You sure?" "Some extra-crispy, dirty rice?" "For the last time, no!" "Get out, Joey!" "All right." "Are you okay?" "He wouldn't leave." "He kept asking me if I wanted chicken." "Chicken?" "I could eat some chicken." "Could I get a three-piece, some coleslaw, some beans and a Coke?" "Diet Coke." "The One With All the Kissing" "English Subtitles by GELULA  CO., INC." "Morning, Pheebs." "I have to tell you this story." "I was coming over and this cabdriver" "Was his name Angus?" "What?" "He was a cabdriver we had in London." "All right." "Anyway" "What was that pub he took us to?" "The Wheat Sheaf!" "And they had that beer... ." "Boddington's!" "Pheebs was going to tell a story." "So, he had a really funny hat." "I don't want to talk about it." "Hey Ross!" "Boddington's!" "Oh, man!" "I'd walk back to London for another frosty one of those bad boys." "They have them at the British pub by the Trade Center." "Later!" "Shouldn't Rachel be back?" "Her plane got delayed." "But she should be here by now." "So you talked to her?" "Did she sound mad?" "No." "But she likes me." "You abandoned her on a plane to Greece." "I did not "abandon" Rachel." "Okay?" "Emily showed up at the airport." "I had to go after her." "I did what I had to do." "She's my wife." "Rachel is my wife." "Emily!" "Emily is my wife." "Man, what is that?" "You haven't heard from Emily?" "Not since I lost her at the airport." "I can't believe she can outrun you." "Hey!" "She's fast, okay?" "You think you can beat me?" "Let's go!" "Outside!" "Rach, I am so sorry." "I am so, so sorry." "Come on." "You just did what you had to do." "That's it?" "You're not mad?" "It must've been terrible." "Terrible?" "Hell, I was in Greece!" "There was a nice hotel, nice beach, met the nice people." "It's not too shabby for Rachel." "So, what, that's it?" "We're cool." "Totally cool." "Thanks, Rach." "You're the best." "Oh, no." "You're the best." "Oh, I got to go to the flower store." "No one will tell me where Emily is..." "... soI 'msending72 long-stemmed,red  roses to her parents' house." "One for each day I've known and loved her." "That should get her talking." "When you make out the card, be sure to make it out to "Emily. "" "It's good that you had such a good time in Greece." "What?" "I didn't have a good time in Greece!" "Ross abandoned me!" "I couldn't get a plane out." "I had to stay in their suite!" "People came up to me going, "Mrs. Geller!" "Why are you cry?"" "I mean, it was so humiliating!" "I felt like such an idiot!" "It's all my fault." "You know why?" "Because I make very bad decisions." "Oh, that's not true." "Yes, it is true." "I went after Ross in stupid London!" "London is stupid!" "Stupid!" "I should've never gone to London." "From now on, you make all my decisions for me." "Oh, no." "I did that for someone once." "I'm not comfortable having that power over someone's life." "I'll do it." "Fine." "Monica, you are now in charge of my love life." "Okay." "I got to go to work." "And Rachel, great to have you back." "Always a pleasure." "Rachel?" "Sweetie, look." "Here's a cute picture of you and Joey." "He's married." "Ross is married." "I still can't believe it." "Honey, sweetie, by the edges." "I'll just have to accept it." "I mean, it's my fault." "Edges!" "Fingers!" "Smudgy!" "Oh, my God!" "That's okay." "I know that you're very upset right now." "I know that wasn't about me." "I bet it was about her a little." "If you'd stop thinking about Ross..." "... you'dnoticethereare  great guys everywhere." "Look." "Gunther." "He's nice." "He's cute." "Yeah." "I guess Gunther is... ." "What about that guy over there?" "That's the guy you flirted with at the counter." "Oh, I don't know." "I don't know." "You'll too talk to him." "I make your decisions, and I say you'll too talk to him." "All right." "You're the boss." "I got to do what you tell me." "Say that to him, and you're golden." "Hey, Pheebs." "We got our pictures back from London." "Here's all of us at the Tower of London... ." "Here we all are." "There's Ross and Joey and you and" "And me." "We've been talking about London too much." "Sorry, it's just because I couldn't be there." "All I get to do now is pregnant stuff." "It bums me out." "I'm sorry." "Sorry." "What happened?" "A little of this, a little of that." "I got myself a date tomorrow." "See?" "Didn't I tell you?" "You're getting over Ross already." "Get out." "What took so long?" "I got caught up at work." "But I'm quitting tomorrow." "So, thanks for having me over." "See you, man." "What the hell was that?" "Probably some European goodbye thing he picked up in London." "That's not European." "It felt French." "I really had a good time." "Yeah, me too." "I guess this is it." "Unless you want to come inside?" "Wait a minute." "You know what?" "I can't decide this." "Okay." "Just hold on a second." "Where's Monica?" "I have to ask her something." "Doing her laundry." "What's that?" "It came in the mail today." "It's 72 long-stemmed, red roses." "One for each day I've known and loved Emily..." "... cutupintomulch." "Honey, that's awful." "It's not so bad." "Monica's going to make potpourri." "I think I'm going to go wander out in the rain for a while." "It's not raining." "I can't catch a break!" "You're not going anywhere." "Sit right here." "I'll make you some tea and we'll talk this out." "All right?" "Hey, Dave." "I need to take a rain check." "My roommate is really sick." "Okay." "Bye!" "Honey, listen." "I know things seem so bad..." "... andthattheywon 'tget any" "Could I talk to you?" "I dropped some socks." "What is the matter with you?" "Do you want to fall into the trap?" "You did not drop any socks!" "I saw Dave, and he said you blew him off!" "You listen to me!" "I'm calling the shots!" "I say you leave Ross and go get Dave." "What are you doing?" "Well, ultimately I was trying, you know, I wanted..." "... totellhimthat I'm still in love with him." "What?" "You cannot tell him that!" "Why?" "Why not?" "People love to hear that!" "I make the decisions and I say no!" "You know what?" "No, you don't make my decisions, because..." "... you'refired." "You can't fire me." "I make your decisions, and I say I'm not fired!" "Ha!" "Well... ." "Come on, let me in!" "Having some trouble?" "Rachel locked the door." "I'll kick that door in if you give me some sugar." "Rachel!" "Let me in!" "Thank you." "Rachel?" "Can I talk to you outside for a sec?" "We really need to talk." "Well, then talk." "Okay, I will." "Remember that thing we just discussed that you wanted to do?" "What thing?" "Rachel wants to take swing dance lessons." "Which I think is a really stupid idea." "It's dangerous." "She won't get what she wants." "And who knows who she might end up hurting?" "Monica's right." "Swing dancing can be tricky." "I have to use the phone." "I got to cancel those five, giant teddy bears I sent to Emily." "My God!" "Think of the massacre." "I'm going to do it." "I know you think I'm crazy." "But before you tell him, try to find one person..." "... whothinksit 'sagoodidea ." "I bet you can't." "Please?" "All right." "Fine." "Joey!" "I'm in!" "All right." "Good deal." "You know how you were saying you didn't get to go to London..." "... andyouwerefeelingleft out?" "Well, we all felt really bad about that..." "... sowedecidedto take a little trip together!" "Oh, that's so nice!" "How great!" "Where's the trip?" "Well, we thought we would all go to a picnic..." "... inCentralPark!" "Central Park?" "All of us." "All day." "That sucks!" "That's not a trip!" "I just came from there." "What'll we high-five about at the stupid park?" "It's right by my house." "All right!" "I'm going home to bask in the triumph of my Central Park idea." "Hold on a sec there, Mr. Kissy." "I wanted to talk to you about..." "... thiswholenewEuropeanthing you've got going on." "And I need to say it makes me very uncomfortable..." "... andI just,youknow,just stop it!" "Just bringing some culture to the group." "That's fine." "Just don't bring it in my mouth." "It makes me want to puke." "Hey, everybody!" "Pheebs is here!" "Phoebe!" "Woo!" "Okay." "Woo!" "Hi!" "Pheebs, we decided that the picnic idea was a little... ." "It didn't have any... ." "Well, it blew." "We thought that this afternoon we'd all go away for the whole weekend..." "... toAtlanticCity." "Atlantic City!" "Oh, that's a great plan!" "Whose plan was that?" "Mine!" "Wait." "It was my plan." "No..." "... Isaidwe neededanewplan." "And I came up with Atlantic City." "Which is the new plan." "Why don't we all meet upstairs in an hour." "I'm going to go pack." "I'm going to go pack my ass off." "Let's go." "You know what?" "I'll meet you in a minute." "Rachel, you didn't find anyone, so you can't tell him." "You know what?" "That doesn't matter." "Do you know how painful it is to tell someone you love them..." "... andnothavethemsayitback?" "I don't care." "I can't watch." "What you reading?" "Paper." "Yeah?" "What's it about?" "The events from around the globe." "There's something I have to talk to you about." "Everyone's saying I shouldn't." "But I think they're wrong." "People can be wrong." "Once at work..." "... Ithoughtcarbondating is fossilized" "I'm really trying to tell you something here." "Go ahead." "I think I'm just going to say it." "I'm just going to say it." "I'm still in love with you." "I'm not sure what to do with that right now." "What?" "Was that a joke?" "Because it's mean." "I'm so dead serious!" "I'm totally serious!" "Why are you laughing?" "Because I just heard it!" "I heard it!" "And it's ridiculous!" "I mean... ." "You're married!" "You're married, and it's just ridiculous!" "When I said it, I sort of floated up out of my body." "And then I heard myself say it, and then the floating Rachel... ." "I was like, "You are such an idiot! "" "Well, I am married." "I know." "Though I haven't spoken to her since the wedding." "I'm sorry." "That's not funny." "Actually, it kind of is." "My wife won't return my calls." "I don't know where my wife is." ""Hey, Ross!" "Where's the missus?" "Don't know! "" "Oh, God!" "You know what?" "Could you forget I told you this?" "Well, I kind of have to." "Because the thing is" "The thing is, you know, that you're married to Emily." "That is what the thing is." "Oh, God." "Things won't be weird between us, right?" "Was that stupid?" "Me telling you that?" "I'm glad you did." "If nothing else..." "... it'salwaysgreatwhensomeone tells you they love you." "That's what I said!" "Thank you for being so nice." "No." "Thank you for... ." "Thank you." "Okay, let's go!" "Yeah, Atlantic City!" "Come on!" "Atlantic City, baby!" "Let's roll some bones." "Hey, Joey!" "High-five for rolling bones." "Pheebs, you're leaking." "Oh, my God!" "Your water broke!" "Well, don't worry." "I call shotgun." "Pheebs, we have to take you to the hospital now." "Pheebs, the babies are coming now." "Honey!" "High-five!" "The babies are coming!" "Remember when my water broke?" "Phoebe's going to have her babies!" "I know." "It's beautiful and amazing." "I had to kiss Phoebe and Rachel every time I left the room." "It's too bad they didn't see us having sex." "Do you know anything about women?" "It's all right." "Okay." "I'm Phoebe Buffay and I have babies coming out." "Have you started having contractions?" "Not yet." "I heard they really hurt." "Do they?" "Oh, my God!" "Which of you is the father?" "None of them are." "The father is my brother." "I'll miss watching you freak people out like that." "This is for the babies to look at someday." "Do you want to say anything before it starts?" "Hi, kids!" "It's me, Aunt Phoebe." "Can't wait to see you." "Please don't hurt me!" "What took you so long?" "Your cab left when ours did." "We went back because I forgot my jacket." "You're not wearing one." "Oh, man!" "I did it again!" "Someone has to call Frank and Alice." "My mom might-- What are you doing?" "I've got to get the "before" shot!" "The One Hundredth" "English Subtitles by GELULA  CO., INC." "We spoke to the nurse." "The reason your doctor is late..." "... isbecauseshe'snot coming." "She hit her head in the shower." "Oh, my God." "She's so stupid!" "Pheebs, it's going to be okay." "I don't see three kids coming out of your vagina!" "Listen." "The nurse said the doctor is wonderful." "He's head of the department." "All right." "Oh, dear God, save me!" "I'm having my first contraction!" "Oh!" "It's not bad." "And so the miracle of birth begins." "And l" "You okay?" "Something hurts." "It's sympathy pains." "That's so sweet!" "I didn't know I cared that much." "I'm Dr. Harad." "I'll be delivering your babies." "You'll be in good hands." "I've been doing this a long time." "I'll be back to do your internal." "Just relax, everything looks great." "And also, I love Fonzie." "Did he just say he loves Fonzie?" "That's what it sounded like." "All right." "Am I late?" "Nobody came out yet, right?" "No, we haven't started yet." "Where's Alice?" "Delaware." "Until she gets here, I'll be your coach." "Don't worry." "She told me about the LaMazda stuff." "If you get the babies out by month's end..." "... yougettwopercentfinancing." "Monica, you're going to be very proud of me." "I just got us dates with two unbelievably cute nurses." "Oh, my!" "They're male nurses." "Not in my head." "They want to take us out Saturday night!" "What do you say?" "I don't think so." "What're you talking about?" "You've been telling me to get over Ross and move on." "I'm moving on and so are you." "Why don't you want to go?" "Why don't you give me a good reason..." "... andI 'lltellyouifit's true ." "What?" "Harder than it sounds, isn't it?" "You're coming." "And when they get off..." "... we'llgogetsomeJellowiththem." "There's always room for Jello." "How do you make that dirty?" "It's easy." "I can do it with anything." "Grandma's chicken salad... ." "Get a shot of this." "These are the headlines when you were born." "Now girl baby, turn away." "And boy babies..." "... checkitout!" "This is what naked women looked like when you were born." "Now let's dive into the good stuff." "Okay, I'm having another one!" "This one doesn't hurt eith-- Yes it does!" "I was kind of hoping that was it." "Where are Monica and Rachel, anyway?" "A couple of nurses asked them out." "Really?" "Male nurses?" "Yeah, I was bummed too." "So they're going on dates?" "When?" "I think Saturday." "What's with him?" "Sympathy pains." "It was sweet at first, but now I think he's trying to steal my thunder." "Let's see what we got here." "Oh, you know, Fonzie dated triplets." "This Fonzie person you keep referring to..." "... isthatanotherdoctor?" "Oh, no, no." "Fonzie is the nickname of Arthur Fonzerelli." ""The Fonz. "" "All right." "It's not that weird, is it?" "It's very weird!" "I don't want some guy down there telling me I'm "dilated-a-mundo" ." "He doesn't seem to be impersonating Fonzie" "What are you doing?" "Why are you defending him?" "Just get me another doctor..." "... whoisn'tcrazy and doesn't Fonzie!" "Again, it's not" "Hey, there you are!" "There's something you should know." "Is this about you dating the nurse?" "Joey told me." "I am so fine." "You and I, we're just, nothing." "Just goofing around." "I was about to tell you I was getting out of it." "But if we're just "goofing around", maybe I will go out with him." "Fine." "Maybe I will too." "Hey!" "Look what I found in the gift shop" "Get up!" "Get up!" "Get up!" "This is Dr. Oberman." "He has no strong feelings about Fonzie..." "... oranyof theHappyDays gang ." "You're going into what grade?" "I'm actually a first-year resident." "I graduated early." "Me too." "I should have specified I'd need a grown-up doctor." "Really, I'm fully qualified" ""Doogie! "" "Doesn't anybody understand that I'm going to be having babies soon?" "Go, little boy!" "Go!" "Oh, cool." "You made him cry!" "Mr. Tribbiani, I'm afraid you've got kidney stones." "Well, what else could it be?" "It's kidney stones." "Or... ." "Kidney stones." "You're getting there." "These babies are very, very lucky." "They are?" "Why?" "They'll be born on the Fonz's half-birthday." "Happy Birthday." "Just to clarify." "I'm not Fonzie." "It's a terrific thing you're having these babies for Frank and Alice." "I know, it is." "Can I tell you a secret?" "I want to keep one." "Oh, I'm going to be on the news." "You must be kidding." "You know you can't keep one of these babies." "Maybe I can." "You don't know." "I do." "Frank and Alice will want to keep all their children." "Maybe not." "You know?" "Three babies are a handful." "Maybe they'll want to unload one." "I hate to miss an opportunity because I didn't ask." "Phoebe, no." "This is insane." "Just ask him." "What?" "Me?" "I can't ask him!" "Do you know how inappropriate that would be?" "All I'm saying is, just talk to Frank." "Just feel him out." "No." "I will not ask Frank to give you one of his kids." "You're right." "Tell him it's for you." "Feeling better, sweetie?" "Maybe a little." "Wish you hadn't seen me throw up." "Me too." "I just heard." "What's up?" "Kidney stones!" "Ordinarily, we try to break the stones up with shock waves." "But they're too close to the bladder." "Either we wait for you to pass them or else go up the urethra" "No, no, no, no." "Nothing is going "up", okay?" ""Up" is not an option." "What's a urethra?" "Are you crazy?" "Did you ask him?" "No, I haven't had a chance yet." "I'm kind of on a clock here." "Oh, Fonzie." "You know who I always liked?" "Mork." "Undo it." "Undo it." "Fonzie met Mork." "Mork froze Fonzie." "But Fonzie was already cool." "So he wasn't hurt." "Right?" "Yeah, that's right." "How you doing?" "Okay." "Doctor says any minute now." "You know, Alice is going to be here so soon." "You couldn't just do me a favor and, like, hold them in?" "Sorry, I'm in the middle of the last favor you asked me to do." "This is Dan, one of the guys we're dating on Saturday." "Nice to meet you." "I'm really looking forward to Saturday night." "Really!" "So Dan... ." "Nurse, not a doctor, huh?" "Kind of girlie, isn't it?" "That's okay." "I'm doing this to get through medical school." "And it didn't feel "girlie" during the Gulf War." "Sure." "Thanks for doing that for us, by the way." "Why wait till Saturday?" "Are you free tomorrow?" "Sure." "I'll get somebody to cover me." "Great!" "Hey, you and me, Saturday night?" "No." "All right, very good!" "This is a big one." "Get these things out of me!" "Breathe!" "Breathe through the pain." "I want the drugs, Ross!" "I do too!" "I do too!" "Yeah, I love you." "Okay, bye." "That was Alice's mom." "Alice left five hours ago." "She should be here." "She'll make it on time." "So Frank... ." "Three babies." "That just seems like a lot, huh?" "Not to me." "Fair enough." "You're at ten centimeters." "Time to start having babies." "I want only the father here." "We love you." "Good luck." "I need a clamp, a sterile towel and Channel 31 ." "What is that?" "Oh, my God!" "Oh, no, no!" "It's a good one." "Fonzie plays the bongos." "Ready?" "Time to try pushing." "Ready?" "Time to try peeing." "Wait, wait, wait, wait!" "It's almost time to try peeing." "Push." "Concentrate on pushing." "I see the head." "Yes, it is a head!" "Keep pushing." "Come on." "I can't believe somebody's coming out!" "There's somebody coming out of you!" "It's my son!" "All right." "Here's your first baby!" "Yes!" "We got a baby boy!" "Frank Junior, Junior!" "How does he look?" "So gross!" "Okay." "You ready to push again?" "I already had a baby." "Leave me alone!" "Come on, you can do it!" "You can do it!" "Little Leslie's here!" "We got another one!" "Oh, my God!" "I can't believe I have two children." "How scary is that?" "Come on, little Chandler, it's time to be born." "He's coming!" "Yes, he's coming!" "Hey, where's his thing?" "Chandler's a girl!" "Oh, God!" "Kindergarten flashback." "They read the sonogram wrong, because they thought it was a boy." "But Chandler's a girl!" "Okay, keep saying it." "Am I too late?" "No, no." "Everything's okay." "There's 30 fingers and 30 toes." "We have our babies?" "We have our babies." "Oh, my God!" "You did it, man." "Would you like to see them?" "They're so small." "I'll call you tomorrow." "Great." "Are you really going to date that nurse man?" "You and I are just "goofing around. "" "I thought, why not "goof around" with him?" "I don't know if you've looked up "goofing around" in the dictionary." "Well, I have..." "... andthetechnicaldefinitionis..." "... " twofriendswhocarealot  about each other..." "... andhaveamazingsex ..." "... andjustwanttospend more time together. "" "But if you have this new dictionary that gets you mad at me..." "... thenwehavetogetyou my original one." "I am so bad at this." "You're better than you think you are." "Really?" "Okay." "So if" "Know when to stop." "I sensed that I should stop." "So we're okay?" "I'm gonna go tell Dan that it's not going to happen." "Don't do the dance." "Right." "You're my favorite." "Which one do you have?" "I don't care." "Frank and Alice want me to tell you they're making phone calls." "Did you talk to them about, you know... ." "No, honey." "It was a long shot." "You guys?" "Can I just have a second alone with the babies?" "So here you are." "Seems like yesterday I was talking to you in that petri dish." "Everyone said labor was the hardest thing." "But they were wrong." "This is." "Well, I had the most fun with you guys." "I wish I could take you home and see you every day." "I'll settle for being your favorite aunt." "I know Alice's sister has a pool, but you lived in me." "Okay, so we're cool." "We're going to be great." "Little high-fives." "Well, if you're going to cry... ." "Phoebe, we are so proud of you." "You're amazing!" "I know." "Does it hurt as bad as they say?" "You won't be able to take it." "Now that little Chandler is a girl, what'll they name her?" "They'll call her Chandler." "Kind of a masculine name, don't you think?" "It works on you." "Come in." "I've been waiting for you." "Hi, I just" "Oh, my God!" "Monica!" "Oh, my God!" "I'm sorry!" "I was" "I was taking a nap." "Since when do you take naps in that position?" "Tell me you were waiting for a guy." "Please tell me." "Yes, I was." "A guy." "From work." "I'm seeing a guy from work!" "That cute waiter guy that looks like a non-threatening Ray Liotta?" "That one!" "Give me a second." "I'm just going to grab a jacket." "When I get back, I want every little detail." "Maybe that's him." "It's just Joey and Ross." "Why aren't you at the movie?" "Ross was so loud, they threw us out." "I had to talk loud because the movie was loud!" "He's talking to London." "Did he get in touch with Emily?" "No, not yet." "He's hoping that someone will help him get in touch with her." "I don't care if I said some other girl's name, you prissy old twit!" "Way to suck up to the family!" "I'm so glad you're all here." "My office finally got wrinkle-free fax paper!" "The One Where Phoebe Hates PBS" "English Subtitles by GELULA  CO., INC." "No, no!" "Vomit tux!" "Don't worry, I had it dry-cleaned." "Vomit tux?" "Who vomited on" "You know what?" "What you up to, Joe?" "They're doing this telethon thing on TV." "And my agent got me a job as cohost!" "That's great!" "A little good deed for PBS, plus some TV exposure." "That's the kind of math Joey likes to do." "Oh, PBS!" "What's wrong with PBS?" "What's right with them?" "Why don't you like PBS?" "Right after my Mom killed herself, I was in a bad place, personally." "I thought I'd write to Sesame Street." "Because they were nice when I was a little kid." "No one ever wrote back." "A lot of those muppets don't have thumbs." "All I got was a lousy keychain, and by that time, I was living in a box." "I didn't have keys!" "I'm sorry, Pheebs." "I wanted to do a good deed, like you did with the babies." "This isn't a good deed." "You just want to get on TV." "This is selfish." "What about you having those babies for your brother?" "That's selfish!" "What are you talking about?" "It was a nice thing, but it made you feel good, right?" "Yeah, so?" "It made you feel good so that makes it selfish." "Look, there's no unselfish good deeds." "Sorry." "Yes, there are totally good deeds that are selfless!" "May I ask for one example?" "Yeah, it's-- You know, there's" "No, you may not!" "Because all people are selfish." "Are you calling me selfish?" "Are you calling you people?" "Sorry to burst that bubble, Pheebs, but selfless good deeds don't exist." "You know the deal on Santa Claus?" "I'll find a selfless good deed." "I'm going to beat you, you evil genius!" "Oh, my God!" "It's Emily!" "It's Emily, everyone!" "I'm only ringing to say stop harassing my relatives." "Goodbye." "You can hang up, but I'll keep calling everyone in England..." "... ifthat'swhatittakes to get you to talk to me." "Really?" "About what?" "Look, you're my wife." "We're married." "You know, I love you." "I really miss you." "I miss you too." "At least, I think I do." "She's talking." "When you said "the deal with Santa," you meant... ?" "That he doesn't exist." "Right." "Chandler, have you heard about Monica's secret boyfriend?" "Yeah, she might have mentioned him." "So, Mon, when are we going to meet this new, secret waiter man?" "I don't think he's up to meeting everyone yet." "Yeah, I don't think he's up to it." "I want to meet this guy who's the best sex she ever had." "Really?" "That's what you heard?" "You said that?" "I might have." "Why is that funny?" "Because I'm very happy for him." "And you!" "You lucky dog!" "She's willing to work on the relationship." "That's great!" "In London." "She wants me to move to London." "But you live here." "You know that." "What will you do?" "I bet if I talked to Carol and Susan..." "... Icouldconvincethem to move to London with Ben." "I'm sure your ex-wife would be more than happy to move..." "... soyoucanpatchthingsup with your new wife." "It could happen." "How you doing?" "Welcome." "Good to see you." "This'll be your phone." "That's great." "But I'm not really expecting a lot of calls." "No, you answer it and take pledges." "But I'm the host." "Gary Collins is the host." "You'll be answering the phone." "You don't seem to understand." "I was Dr. Drake Ramoray." "Well, here's your phone, Doctor." "I can't believe I can't find a selfless good deed." "You know that old guy that lives next to me?" "I snuck over there and raked up the leaves on his front stoop." "But he caught me, and he force-fed me cider and cookies." "Then I felt wonderful." "That old jackass!" "Maybe Joey's right." "Maybe all good deeds are selfish." "I will find a selfless good deed." "I gave birth to three children..." "... andI won'tletthemberaised in a world where Joey's right!" "Can I ask you a cooking question?" "If you're cooking on the stove..." "... thatmeansyournew boyfriend is better in bed than Richard?" "Is he?" "I think I'll respect the privacy of my new, secret boyfriend." "Why?" "If this guy was me..." "... andit'sme who'dlearnedthat itwas me who was the best you'd ever had..." "... I'dbelikethis:" "All right, Emily." "As much as I love you..." "... I'msorry,Ican 't move to London without Ben." "I understand that would be difficult." "Would you consider moving here?" "You were moving here anyway." "Why can 't you just do that?" "I don't know." "It's just" "But I know that even though I've been a complete idiot up till now..." "... youhaveto comehere." "You have to, so we can work this out together." "All right." "Did you just say "all right"?" "I did." "Now I'm the idiot." "Emily, that is so great!" "It'll be great!" "We're going to be like two idiots in love!" "There's one thing that really scares me still." "Yes, tell me." "You must understand  howhumiliatingit was for me at the altar..." "... infrontof my familyand friends." "I know." "I am so sorry." "And then, after deciding to forgive you..." "... seeingyouat theairport, catching our plane with her." "Again, very sorry." "I mean, I can't be in the same room as her." "It drives me mad thinking of you being in the same room as her." "Emily, there is nothing between Rachel and me." "I love you." "All right." "I'll come to New York, and we'll try to make this work." "That's so great!" "As long as you don't see Rachel anymore." "I asked Emily if she would come to New York." "And she said yes." "Great!" "Only if I promise never to see Rachel again." "What?" "You can't" "What did you say?" "I'd think about it." "How am I supposed to make this decision?" "I'm actually asking you!" "Rachel is one of your best friends." "But Emily's his wife!" "That's true!" "You can't just cut Rachel out of your life!" "That's true!" "Thanks for the help." "Problem solved!" "When will you be on TV?" "There was kind of a mix-up in my agent's office..." "... butI 'mstillon TV , and that's good exposure." "You're not on TV." "How about now?" "There he is!" "Hello, New York!" "Maybe just put the whole duck in there." "Who cares?" "Now I got the legs." "How many times have I told you to never watch the cooking channel?" "I need that broiling pan that Joey borrowed." "That was yours?" "We used it when the duck was throwing up caterpillars." "Williams-Sonoma, fall catalog, page 27." "Expect it in 4 to 6 weeks." "Joey's at the telethon for the rest of the day." "We have the place to ourselves." "Yeah, so?" "Maybe you'd want to book some time with "the best you've ever had. "" "You know what, champ?" "I think I'll pass." "Why?" "What's your point?" "PBS Telethon." "I just wanted to let you know that I found a selfless good deed." "I went down to the park and I let a bee sting me." "What good is that going to do?" "It helps the bee look tough in front of his bee friends." "The bee is happy, and I am definitely not." "You know, the bee probably died after he stung you." "Damn it!" "Back on in 30 seconds, people!" "Excuse me, would you mind switching with me?" "No way." "I'm in the shot, man." "You've been here all day!" "I'm taking pledges." "And we're on three, two... ." "Welcome back to our fall telethon." "If you've been enjoying Cirque du Soleil  andyou'dliketoseemore,  it's very simple." "All you have to do is call in a pledge..." "... andtelloneofourvolunteers what type of programming you" "That's it." "I cannot make this decision." "It is too difficult." "I leave it entirely up to the gods of fate." "A Magic 8 Ball?" "You can't make this decision with a toy!" "It's not a toy." "I don't know what else to do!" "I either keep my wife and lose one of my best friends..." "... orI getdivorced for the second time before I'm 30." "If anyone else has a better suggestion, let's hear it." "Because I got nothing!" "Don't be shy." "Any suggestion will do." "Okay, then." "Here we go." "Magic 8 Ball..." "... shouldI neverseeRachelagain?" ""Ask Again Later. "" "Later is not good enough!" ""Ask Again Later. "" "What the hell?" "This is broken!" "It is broken!" "Let me see." "Will Chandler have sex tonight?" ""Don't Count On lt. "" "Seems like it works to me." "PBS Telethon." "Hi, Joey." "Hey, Pheebs." "I'd like to make a pledge." "I would like to donate $200." "Two hundred dollars?" "You sure?" "After what Sesame Street did to you?" "I'm still mad at them, but they bring happiness..." "... tolotsof kids whose moms didn't kill themselves." "By supporting them, I'm doing a good thing, but I'm not happy about it." "So there!" "A selfless good deed." "You don't feel good about donating the money?" "No, it sucks!" "I was saving up to buy a hamster." "A hamster?" "Those things are, like, $1 0." "Not the one I had my eye on." "It looks like we have surpassed last year's pledge total." "Thank you!" "And the pledge that did it was taken by one of our volunteers." "Oh, boy!" "And may I say, one of our sharpest dressed volunteers." "Mr. Joseph Tribbiani!" "Oh, look!" "Joey's on TV!" "Isn't that great?" "My pledge got Joey on TV!" "That makes me feel so" "Oh, no!" "Look..." "... Igotcarriedawaybefore, but there's something you got to know." "If I'm the best, it's only because you made me the best." "Keep talking." "I was nothing before you." "Call the other girls and ask." "Which wouldn't take long." "But when I'm with you, and we're together..." "... oh,myGod!" "Oh, my God!" "I understand if you never want to sleep with me again." "But that'd be wrong." "We're too good." "We owe it to sex!" "If we owe it!" "Oh, my!" "When will Joey be home?" "I was kind of hoping we could do this without him." "No, no, no!" "Leave the gloves on." "I cleaned the bathroom." "Why don't we lose the gloves." "All right." "Let's show them how it's done." "That wasn't part of it." "I know." "You ready?" "We're going to be late." "For what?" "For Stella, remember?" "She's getting her groove back in 20 minutes." "I totally forgot about that." "Can I take a rain check?" "I'm waiting for a call from Emily." "Sure, I guess." "I hear you don't have to go to London." "It's not that easy." "There's still a lot of relationship stuff." "Like what?" "Just stuff." "You know, kind of what Emily wants." "Talk to me." "Maybe I can help." "You can't help." "I have to do this without your help." "I know you can do that too." "I'm just saying if you need to talk... ." "Thanks." "Whatever it is that Emily wants..." "... justgiveit to her." "The bottom line is that you love her." "Fix whatever she wants fixed." "Just do it." "You're going to have to try." "You'll hate yourself if you don't." "Come on, answer it!" "Hi, sweetie." "Good." "Yes, I've been thinking..." "... aboutthatthing you wanted me to do." "I can do it." "Will you come to New York?" "Never done that before." "Nope." "Hurry up!" "The flight leaves in four hours!" "There could be traffic!" "The plane could leave early!" "In London, there could be a line at customs!" "Come on!" "London might have gotten started..." "... becauseweneededtotake advantage of the show's popularity..." "... andgodo theshowon an exotic location..." "... andhaveagoodtime ." "There's so many people here from all over the world." "Lately, the show's been about us getting excited to go to London." "And then we realized in real life, we're doing that same thing." "Passport, check." "Camera, check." "Traveler's checks, check!" "Are you ready yet?" "Got the tickets?" "Right here." "Check!" "Yeah!" "London, baby!" "It's all London, baby!" "Here we go." "Ross is getting married..." "... tothisyoungwomannamedEmily ." "And I set them up by accident." "Why don't we?" "Why don't we what?" "Get married." "I've started to..." "... fallforthischaracter,Emily, played by Helen Baxendale." "And we decided to go all the way, I guess, and get married." "Ross has asked me to marry him." "I say yes." "And so we arrange a big wedding in London." "Things go a bit wrong." "We're not paying for your wine cellar." "You have to meet me in the middle." "My foot's gonna meet the middle of your ass!" "You want a piece of me?" "ls that what you're saying?" "That's it!" "Parents!" "Parents!" "Back away!" "This is our wedding day!" "From now on, everyone gets along." "And if I hear one more word..." "... nograndchildren!" "That's right!" "Sorry, old boy." "I could kill you with my thumb, you know." "We knew the show was popular in England..." "... andsoit seemedlike a natural fit." "I knew how big the show was over here." "It was exciting to be welcomed." "Everywhere, walking down the street..." "... bunchesofkidswatching." "So we've been signing autographs." "They're just big fans of the show, I guess." "I watch it all the time because my children love it." "They absolutely love it." "Tell my friend you like my hat." "What's your friend's name?" "Chandler." "Hi, Chandler!" "We wanted it to still feel like Friends  andsowe shotalotofit in front of an audience." "And it seemed like a really exciting opportunity..." "... toshootan Americansitcom in front of a British audience." "Do something!" "I am." "I'm ignoring you." "I'll be the on-camera guy." "All right." "First stop..." "... WestminsterAbbey." "What is that?" "That's London, baby!" "We were really afraid, going over, that either they'd be..." "... farmoresedateand wouldn'tlaugh...." "They were great!" "Big laughers!" "They waited in line for hours!" "We traveled 329 miles." "She's lying." "It's more like 200." "The show's doing so well over here that it just seems like..." "... they'rereal,realreceptive." "It's really wonderful and flattering and overwhelming, truthfully." "We didn't have a single bad audience." "Also, there was a greater sense of "event. "" "I think it energized everybody:" "the actors, the writers... ." "We're just excited to be here." "Like, look back there." "Look how cool that is!" "We missed Lisa." "That was probably the only drawback I can think of." "I first thought, "How exciting!" "I wonder if I'm going?"" "It's awful that Lisa's not here." "We feel like we have a limb missing." "Let's try some aversion therapy." "Look at the picture." "It's strange when one person's not there." "We miss her." "It's weird for all of us to be here without her." "She's in the episode, on the phone and things like that." "Hey, Pheebs!" "It's Joey." "Hey, Joey!" "I just saw someone that looks just like you, on the subway." "I was going to say hi, then I figured he doesn't care he looks like you." "That just cost me four bucks." "Part of me wishes I could go." "But I'm very happy to not get on a plane for a lot of hours... ." "Sorry." "I'm not a good traveler." "The Waltham residence." "Is this Emily's parents' house?" "This is the housekeeper." "And by the way, that is not how one addresses a person on the telephone." "First one identifies oneself  andthenasksfor the person with whom one wishes to speak." "This is Phoebe Buffay." "I was wondering, please..." "... ifit'snot too much trouble, please." "Might I speak with Miss Emily Waltham, please?" "It was also interesting because we had shot about a third of it here." "And a bit of it on the streets in London." "All right!" "Westminster Abbey!" "Hands down, best abbey I ever seen." "What do you think of the Abbey?" "I think it's great!" "They're thinking of changing the name." "To what?" "To "Put the camera away" !" "Man, you are Westminster "Crabby. "" "It was a really gratifying experience." "Pretty much everything we'd hoped to get out of it, we got." "When you can go on location even in Los Angeles that's exciting..." "... muchlesshaveyourwholecrew..." "Just the idea of bringing our entire "family" over here..." "... is,like,wild." "Yeah!" "London, baby!" "It's amazing to me how many people are excited about the show." "I knew how big the show was over here." "It plays a lot on television." "I saw it three times in one week." "They're very popular at home, but I didn 't know they would be here." "It's got a massive following in Britain..." "... particularlyamongmy generation." "It's quite sarcastic." "That's why it's popular." "We have great English character actors who are working with us." "And an opportunity to interact with the English crew." "We're about to be Ross' in-laws." "We're the Brits that you love to hate." "We worked with Sarah Ferguson this morning." "She was great and funny." "I was excited to be here today." "It's the first time I've ever done this and I enjoyed it." "I am a great fan." "I think they are all marvelous." "Most British people tried to hate them for being beautiful and funny." "I got a phone call:" ""Small part, a few lines." "Do you want it?" "Next to Jennifer Aniston. "" "And I went, "Oh, wait a minute... ." "Oh, okay then. "" "It's basically a "let's kick the Brits up the butt" episode, really." "You're gonna see a lot of comedy, a lot of romance..." "... anda lotof surprises." "And you get to see England." "Call the Queen Mum, say you enjoy watching Friends  andthatyouknowus,andshe'll  have you over for tea like that."