"Storm clouds gather, darkness lurking ..." "It is full moon, and ghosts crying." "This spooky house this remote road ..." "Revenge bound and tastes best cold." "Revenge of Jeff, who plays with dolls." "Revenge of Walter, who complain and grumble." "Peanut, Jose, must know their place " " Like my horrible father, that scarred my face." "All they will find that they are condemned " " To watch out for monsters with Jeff Dunham." "Thank you, Savannah." "It is wonderful, thank you." "Welcome, we look forward." "I am pleased like the guys in the trunk." "The show is called Minding the Monsters." "Why?" "We wanted to do a show, that was different." "After all my Standups and specials I wanted to make something sinister " " So I said:" "Select a creepy town and everyone said ..." "You know, why is this creepy, but viewers should also know that:" "Savannah is known haunted houses and graveyards." "Every night there are ghost tours through the city ..." "My ex-wife was born here ..." "Therefore." "But why a monster special?" "As a boy I of Frankenstein, Dracula, The Mummy and all the monsters." "I enjoyed being frightened and to frighten others I was an only child." "The American cars were enormous at the time." "Without seat belts and child seats." "There I sat one child, and back seat were two meters wide." "It was huge." "I could run back and forth." "On the floor were widespread of the tunnel." "And you could lie down under the rear window." "When my mother ran, she kept not watching me." "And my mother had - and has - a huge bikubefrisure." "As Marge Simpson, but in a different color." "Like this." "And then had only a whole battery of curlers in it." "I stood in the back and then on her beehive full of hairspray." "The huge curlers formed holes, reminiscent of caves." "I imagined a labyrinth of caves." "I stood and looked at her, and I discovered that the back seat " " There was a small black plastic spider." "It's actually happened." "I took the spider and put it on the edge of one of curlerne." "I looked at it, but was not completely satisfied." "I found a pencil." "She did not notice anything." "With pencil I pushed spider completely into curlergrotten." "Away." "Four days later ..." "It fits." "I slept next to their room, and mother brushed her hair every month." "Four days later brushed her hair out, and her chilling cry   When the spider fell into her shot, was the game of whacking worth." "As a child , I appreciated the monster thing." "And I taught my kids that it's fun to frighten and to be afraid." "My youngest daughter Kenna was master of to frighten people." "And when you get scared, you get usually one of two reactions." "Mon fight or flee." "It is known the first, when you get very scared." "I had never been very scared, before my daughter scared me." "She could suddenly appear of darkness!" "And I did not run away like a little girl." "I began to beat." "I was upstairs and stood at the bathroom and orderly toilet with a plunger." "Afterwards I came walking like this, she jumped up, and I ..." "'Dad was about to kill me with svupperen. ' She laughed." "She hid also under my desk." "My table was closed on the sides, and she hid there." "She waited patiently." "It is evil." "After ten minutes, she grabbed my legs and ..." "In time, she learned taking a pillow." "I'm up and ..." "As we kept up with to frighten each other." "But we discovered that they were also fun to frighten dogs." "A good victim was Roadie, my dværgpincher two kilos." "And then small dogs not do a thing." "For Halloween has some candy cups with a hand ..." "Yesterday too fast." "When you want to take candy you get a stroke of a rubber hand." "The first few times it is fun." "Then it's a dog bowl." "So I said to the girls:" "Look here, this is brilliant." "'What are you doing, Dad?" "' Now I see." "I removed the candy and put a piece of meat in the bowl, close to the hand." "So I put it on the floor and Roadie walked. 'It's great, Dad.'" "Quiet, here she comes." "Roadie walked, watching the flesh, sticks his head into the bowl ..." "Bang." "Roadie looked around:" "'What?" "I just wanted to take the meat. '" "The girls were full of laughter." "Roadie went back." "She discovers that it's bowl, and continue." "She wants the meat." "Ten minutes later she tries still grabbing the meat." "Unfortunately teaches dogs." "The day will Roadie do not drink from a stranger bowl." "Not until she has crept up." "She does like this." "Sad, but I have let Roadie revenge on other people." "For Halloween I bought a hajkostume to Roadie." "I sat in a wardrobe in connection with a television show." "I could hear that there was someone on the corner outside." "I said, 'Take them,' and she ran barking out." "Everyone laughed." "I took hajkostumet and gave Roadie it." "The good thing was that we did not see the dog." "One saw only a malformed hajagtigt reptile." "Strange color, special shape, a Finn who, two at the rear, a tail " " And teeth and eyes." "Fantastic." "When you are frightened, you react very spontaneously " " But when you realize what it was, fall quickly back to sleep." "What?" "Well, it was fun." "Once there is something around the corner, the brain does not recognize ..." "And especially if it looks like a prehistoric reptile ..." " Then there's fut the reptilian brain." "Men at 150 kg is around the corner, and she comes silently away " " And the gasping:" "What the hell was that?" "There were urine stains on carpet outside my door." "I have a dog story." "I took an asylum dog to me recently." "A family had handed him." "We did not know why." "We called him Buddy, and it was a jack russell." "After half a day we knew why family had handed Buddy." "Buddy is disturbed." "He and dangers around the house all day, he is crazy." "He is sweet, but're nuts." "Dog trainer said:" "I know two methods against barking dogs." "What is it?" "'A flower prayer.' I had already tried." "'Water alone will not help a jack russell." "They just think that it is a new way to drink on." "You have to give them a mixture with 40 percent Listerine. '" "It's evil." "'No, it does not matter." "When they do, spray, and so they learn to keep up. '" "Okay, Listerine." "She said: 'I also have an electronic collars." "It does not shock." "It is something new, electronically." "When the dog does get the a spray citronella in the face." "Quickly learn the ..." "They stop barking. ' I said, 'Fine, we are trying." "Buddy got the collar on, and I had the syringe ready." "Buddy barked, I sprayed." "'Fine, I do not.'" "He could not suffer." "But once had Buddy a really bad day." "It was raining, he barked at everything, moving in the garden." "I sprayed, I was busy, he went on my nerves." "Spray bark ..." "Late in the day he smelled as if he had been to the dentist." "His coat was quite sticky, His eyes were bloodshot." "He looked like a police photo by Nick Nolte." "And then he barked so much the battery was almost flat " " And then fit the timing is not." "But late in the day had this wise she learned to do this:" "And when the sun rose, he ran back around the garden." "He did not care collar and Listerinen, and we could not catch him." "He chased squirrels." "We have a fence around the whole garden " " And squirrels running around it to tease him, and we could not catch him." "But my fiancee Audrey got a brilliant idea." "While Buddy chased the squirrel " " She asked herself and looked, as if she were looking for the squirrel." "Buddy ran to her." "'Fine, you want to help me, where is it?" "'" "She took him." "'Fool, now I have you.'" "I thought he would grasp it after 4-5 times:" "'When I go over to her, she grabs me. ' I would be with." "I took him up, but I helped him." "I took him and held him up " " So he could grab the fence with paws and pull himself up ..." "And then he looked over the fence to spot the squirrel." "He looked down into the neighbor's garden without to see it." "And so I lowered him again." "So we went a little further, I took him up, and he looked again." "Finally saw him myself as his running mate." "It worked." "Three days later I said to Audrey:" "It works fine with raising him." "'Yes, fine.' I said:" "I wonder how it looks from the other side?" "And yes ..." "A few days later the phone rings." "'Hello, Jeff." "This is Bob, your neighbor. '" "Hi, Bob." "What then?" "'I do not know how to say it   But my wife says that your dog spying on her in the garden. '" "What the hell do you think, Bob?" "'I did not believe it, but yesterday I watered the lawn " " And suddenly it happened:" "Your dog staring over the fence." "How he does, I do not know but then he went down again." "'Well, it fits." "And a little later he appeared ahead. '" "'And he let himself valleys again.'" "I said:" "Okay, Bob." "I want to talk to Buddy about it." "'It gets worse.' How so?" "'I think it will kill us, but he is not so good at it. '" "How so?" "'A few hours later he looked at me again   But then he barked, leaning to the side, and then said it bang." "Are you ready to people of suitcases?" "I told them that they themselves be able to choose a monster." "So now we go." "A disturbed scientist creates an unstoppable creature." "Fitting together of the parts from dead people." "Women are hysterical, and men paralyzed by fear." "It lives!" "And trying to sleep!" "Shut your mouth shut!" "Now I want to create a bride for you." "They will stiffen with fear." "Now clap In other words in." "This is not my idea." " Hello, Walter." " Do I look like Walter?" " You look like a Walter Frankenstein." " Say rather Crank Stein." " You look good." " No." "I looks like a cross between Hillary Clinton and sobs." "It was not painful thought Hulk." " You look like then again from them" " So Gumby at the nursing home?" "Then you Pokey." " Are you in?" "You are a donkey." " I have grasped it." " It sounded good." " I've practiced." "It was my anger sound." "Here is my happy sound." "Here is 'astonished'." "This is 'gay'." "If you do not like the costume, why did you choose it?" " This should make us afraid as children." " And it was Frankenstein." "Actually, a Catholic priest   But all get angry, when I insult Mexicans." " Are you not happy?" " You should not hope." " Why not?" " Imagine me cheerful ..." "'Hello, my name is Walter, and life is beautiful. '" "So you would work in Starbucks during a ski week." " What Now?" " Your Language ..." "English." "And you would not even press '1 'to hear it." " People come to be entertained." " Not all together." "There are also men with a wife who says:" "'We were forced to the middle-aged fool and his puppets. '" "And now thinking men:" "'For fuck's sake.'" "'It is a middle-aged fool with dolls. '" "Now the clothes you dummies out." "When should we hold tea party, Ken?" "Middle-aged fool." "What part of the troubling you most?" "Middle-aged or fool?" "What do you think?" "You are only as old as you feel , but 'fool' is in your DNA." "Speaking of age:" "You're not young anymore." "Let us count." "How long have I been?" " 24 years." " 24 years." "If anyone saw us at the time, so I looked like today." "You do not." "We started as 'young and old'." "Before long we Sunshine Boys." "Before I gave you advice on women, now soon we compare bowel photos." "Age is only feeling." "Not when you start to leak." "The old couple in front thinking:" "Yes, Marge, my ass is leaking." "And after some time you died, and I should be on a shelf." "No more nightly prostate studies." "Actually, you do not Frankenstein." "Monster was the monster, and Frankenstein was the scientist." "Thank you, Professor I-google-all-of-a lot." "You should tweet, what do you say?" "Then you could tweet:" "I am a great monster 'angry face', fool." "I grab category 'How you score never a woman.'" " But your costume is beautiful." " Fine." "Frankenstein." "It sounds Jewish." "Mon dr." "Frankenstein was jew?" "It would explain a lot." " How?" " He dug up body parts." "In order to save money." "Tell me I'm wrong." "He was a jew, and therefore was his monster always angry." " Why?" " Because he circumcised poor guy." "So you get a totally different view on the film." "'He murders because he is mad.' Nope, he dick hurts." "And that belonged to another." "If I were a monster, I would hope that he dug up the body " " In a cemetery with only one black and no Asians." "Namely, a racist pillertvits." "Happy Hallo-Wiener pillert." "You went through Frankenstein to omstikk ... circumcision." "Pull yourself together." "What the hell is omstikkelse?" "It sounds like something from the Constitution." "Only the top of it." "The one with the ancestors." "And why was the monster two very high?" "It is dangerous." "He should be started with a little monster." "Frank Dwarf." "So could have put him in the car seat and driven him to sleep." "It makes parents often." "If he got loose, the accident would not be so great." "'Come and get your monster He buns our cat out in the garden. '" "Impossible, his pillert hurts." "Call them 'dwarf', it seems they are not on." "They do not like to be one meter high." "But okay:" "Dwarfs, there think about it, raise your hand in the air." "Higher." "Higher." " What's with you tonight?" " Guess." " Does your wife right?" " You guessed it." " Your wife is always healthy and happy." " Yes, the morning is the worst." "'Good morning, snuskebasse.'" "For fuck's sake." "I always want to to kick her stupid poodle." "Good morning, honey." "So is the day kicked off." "I stick the stick up your ass on the and use it as a toilet brush." "And in Australia, it ..." " I have as a good marriage?" " On a constipated way." " But I still love each other." " Yes, but love is changing." "Before we would fuck in the car Now you will run each other down." "'I was struck by Cupid's arrow, Now should one Camero hit her. '" "From 'hold me' to 'Kiss my ass and die, bitch.'" "It's terrible." "What about life after death?" "Some believe that even after death you are together forever." "You just asked me go to hell." "Back to monsters." " Do you know a scary movie?" " Yes, from my wedding." "When I'm down in the dumps I see the reverse." "Are you with me?" "Then she goes her way." " You love when your wife." " Yes." "But when she met on the church with the hairstyle and makeup   I wanted to shout:" "It lives." " How was the wedding?" " The priest asked   If anyone had any objections, but no one would listen to me." " Maybe they heard you." " Sure." "You were not there." " What happened after the wedding?" " Now ate cake." "Non-stop." "In the 45 years." "It's ugly when she asks:" "Is my butt too thick for this G-string?" " You did well not?" " It would have been wiser." " What did you say?" " About rump had overtaken panties." " There is terrible." " Yes, I should have stopped there." " What else did you say?" " Your ass is thick because it is thick." "G-string is the victim." " Why are you telling me this?" " It's a horror show, right?" " Let's talk Halloween." " Yes, it's not so bad." " Are there many children with you?" " No more." "Once closed my cow up, while one of babserne hung outside." "We are still paying of therapy for the children." "Did you really 'boobs'?" "Yes, but now I would rather say 'flippers'." "When she goes, flutter as the saloon doors." "In the gym last week she had two blue eyes." "And then there are teenagers without clothes and an empty bag." "They are delicious hungry of smoking grass." " Grass?" " You know: pot, Mary Jane." "Ganja." "Chronic." "Bangkok, Blastoff." "A stickie." " How do you know all this?" " I have glaucoma." "It is ugly, that websites can tell one what is wrong." " Are you sick?" " I think so." " What's wrong with you?" " I came up with pyometra." "Or mesothelioma." "Mesothelioma you get asbestos." "Peanut it is made of." "Sniffer you to Peanut?" "Artist Life is lonely." "Speaking of lonely:" "Did I hear, that you have engaged you?" "What the hell are you thinking?" "If you are pardoned, why bind to the chair again?" "You've seen Audrey." "It's a sex chair." "Her you do not get reupholstered soon." " Say goodbye, Walter." " Thank you, Savannah." "Feel his icy presence." "During the day he sleeps in a tomb." "At night he wakes with an unquenchable thirst." "Vampire tooth." "I fear that we are against a vampire." "Vampire teeth." "Back ..." "Maybe, but I do not use dental floss." "name that inspires fear" " How are you, Bubba J?" " It goes dæleme well." " Are you ready?" " Yes, and I've been pleased." " You look good." " Thank you." " And you have hair." " Yes, I know." "A miracle." "As if there grew an armpit in my head." " Did you recognize yourself in the mirror?" " I never look in the mirror." " Why not?" " I'm backwards   And it scares me." "Scares you?" "Yes, the mirrors are windows to the world " " Where everything they do, is opposed." "And when they see us in the mirror, they see us do everything " " Just backwards in relation to them." " It is ridiculous." " Yes, but you can not disprove it." "And some of them get lost and come into our world." "They are among us." " How do you know?" " They are easy to recognize." "Because they write with your left hand." " Would you say why we are here?" " We do." "Is the camera on?" "Runs band?" "Ro in the studio, recording 1" "You start." "Fuck you now not." " Bubba J, you're a vampire." " Yes, and I will suck your beer." " You look good." " I Count Biercula." "And I drink BLooDWeiSeR." " Anything else?" " I am a poor white-vampire." " How so?" " My chest has a weapons rack." " Really?" " And I have bitten my cousin." "Is there a weapon shelf in your chest?" "Everything I have, have a weapon shelf." "Even my arms shelf." "My coffee maker has a, and my dishwasher." " Your dishwasher?" " How one I do not." "My wife is my dishwasher but she has a good shelf!" "There can I load my gun, if you understand." "You know what I'm talking about?" "I do not." " Why would you be a vampire?" " We have much in common." "We see a part of 'rednecks'." " It makes sense." " And as redneck-vampire   Can only be killed a billiard silver bullet." "Or a chicken through the heart." " Why do you have only one big tooth?" " It is a ølåbner." " It is a good choice." " I would be ghost   But someone said that a redneck and a white sheet was a stupid idea." " Bubba J, I thought of something." " Yes, it happens too often for me." "What happens if a vampire drink blood from an alcoholic?" "It's damn brilliant!" "I have a blood alcohol level of 0.34." "I should bite myself." "If I go it, I am so blind?" "Well, it was something else, right?" "It is a high BAC." "If you drink my blood, you end up in bed with nasty slut with hængeøje." "And you discover not even that she is a he." "Are you Team Edward or Team Jacob?" " I'm on Team Jack Daniels." "I've seen Twilight vampires but I do not know." "One guy has a sixpack." "Go jump." "I have an entire dish." "I do not soon with the old kind of vampires." "I can not sleep in the coffin." "I love beer and bønnedip." "I have grasped it." "It is not good if there are no holes in the coffin." "No more stacking." " Begging you candy as a child?" " Yes, but it was hard with us." "When called on, could house suddenly run away." "Ding-dong, candy or trouble." "He has Milky Way's, shoot the tires." " You are beautiful." " I would be a monster truck." " Why did you do it?" " The muffler fell out of my ass." "You're pretty creepy." "What can make you afraid?" "Tornadoes." "Breathalysers." "A book with words in." "Tornadoes, I understand." "It's bad when you're lying in bed and casing running the wrong way." "Think about that last." "Dorothy's house went nowhere, she was just pissed." "You look like the Count of Sesame Street." "Is not this vampire, who can count?" "At this point looks like we are not each other." " How much can you count on?" " Six." "When I buy 12 beers, I just trust them." "So buy two sixpacks." "I think I damaged my brain." "A vampire would be inside throughout the day." "What would you do?" "I wanted to see motorsport on my plasma TV." " Well then." "Do you have a plasma TV?" " In a way." "It is an ordinary TV, but I bought it by selling blood." " How big is it?" " 63 inches." " It's great." " I saw a sad film about an alley   With full men who could not find a meaning to their sad lives." "After half an hour I discovered I looked out the window." "I love Halloween." "Booze or your life." " Candy or trouble." " Not with us." " Do you give them beer cans?" " It would be foolish." "I sprays them in the mouth with a beer hose." "It is not an ordinary 'Golden shower'." " I do not know anything about." " No, certainly not." "Have you never problems with Halloween?" "Last year, threw some toilet paper in my trailer." "Right on time." "There was no more leaves, I only had pine cones." " What else are you afraid of?" " To be abducted by strangers." "Them from space, not those from Mexico." "What is the difference between foreign from space and illegal?" "Them from space takes some times back home." "What do you keep most of at Halloween?" "When hot girls dress up as sexy kittens." "In my drunken party happened is an accident with a neighbor's cat." "I'm still ashamed in strange places." "A one really good one." "It has the cat as well." "My cousin Jed is fond of cats." "We have called him Jed, since he got his GED diploma." "Staves not 'GED'?" "Kaner not." " Where you grew up?" " Everywhere." "I went in mobile school." " Did you learn anything?" " Yes, all the basics." "Reading, writing and meth." " You mean well mathematics." " Oh." "Do you think 'meth' as ?" "methamphetamine?" "Bad boy." "You've had your GED diploma." "I failed in meth." "I could not stand my training partner." "I think he was on drugs." " It is illegal." " And so I ran." " It is cowardly." " Is it?" "I am a lion." "Then you must be Dorothy." "Jose's Plate man, Walter is Oz, and Peanut is the flying monkey." " Who is Achmed so?" " One who spoils the story." "He forces us to throw shoes, Before we go through the castle." "Who is the Wicked Witch from the West?" "You know, for she ran off with your money." " Say goodbye, Bubba J." " Good night." "In a world where crime reigns, and no one dares take up the fight " " There is only one, who can conquer the night." "WHO SHOULD SAVE U.S.?" " What are you doing, Mr. Nut?" " Nothing, I'm rich." "Very rich." "Want to see my car?" " Who's there?" " Jeff Dunham." "Who are you?" "COMES NOW" " Hey, Peanut?" " Does it?" " Fine." " It's good, it's really good." " So you're Batman." " No, I'm Batnut." " Batnut?" " Yes, Batnut, night nødarbejder." " Is that why you talk like that?" " Yes." "You sound more like choke." "Fold now, right?" "I speak and you just stand and look like you do not just stand there." " Mon Batnut scares villains?" " Absolutely." "Especially if they have nut allergies." "Meet my honey roasted justice." "You look like most a bad version of Batman." "You look like a bad version of a white." "Do you have weapons?" "Batman has a batarang, I have an Emergency erang." " An Emergency erang?" " It does exactly what you think." "But when it comes back, I catch it." "I have two." "I call them the Dynamic Duo." "And they are next of my Bat-pole." " Ready?" " Yes, no more ambiguities." " Thank you." " Before the next." "You have no balls." "Do you have a sign in the sky." " I have thought about." "I thought of a bat, but the user Batman of course." "So I thought of a great distress, but it has Lance Armstrong of course." " It's silly." " Batman is one thing I have not." "A butler." " Photo Gallery." " You would be a good butler." "Come on down is Batnuts butler." "Nutleren." "Listen, Nutler." "Swipe my jacket and clean my polyester bat-shorts." " I will not be your butler." " Nutler." " I do not." " You have nothing else to do." " What?" " What are you doing when we are not here." "Looking for people You can stand next?" "You even have a real butler's name." "Dunham ..." "Oh Dunham, get my tea." "You have to serve my scones." "So I get a little bell." "Ding-ding, Jeff-Fafa ..." "I want scones." " I do not obey you." " If I use 'voice'?" "It is time to polish my Emergency erang." "And brush upholstery in my cup." "Estimate the voice, and Darth Vader voice." "Simultaneously ..." "I am your Va-Vader, Jeff-Fafa." "Use the force, Jeff-Fafa." " Why does Batman like that?" " Are your clothes too tight?" "My dress is too tight, Alfred." "The maser the Dynamic Duo." "I'm better than Batman." "I have a force, he has not." " What is it?" " Bat-telepathy." "Yes, a kind of ESPeanut." "I can read your mind." " You may think ..." " No." " Listen, it's ..." " Silly." "As if I knew what you would say." "Of course, because I   Look at the pictures of Justin Bieber and dream of being his girlfriend." " Now poet you." " Do I?" " Yes, but I ..." " Let my dog ?" "lick honey from me." " Shut up, or I ..." " Lubricates me into the oil and go to club." "What is your name?" "I can get you ten that speech." "Ready?" "Are there any Batman villains that scares you?" "What?" "The pseudo clown with too much make-up." "Orange County Housewives." "Mon Batman farts?" "His farts are probably like him." "Silent and deadly." " Wait, did you hear that?" " No." "Then you're already dead." "Thank you." "The worst superhero name is Green Lantern." "A lamp." "By:" "I'm Silver toaster." "Back, or you warms you up." "And then there's Flash." "Is he a hero, or he opens coat and shows his arms stick out?" " His arms stick?" " His accomplices?" "His minions?" "His ..." "Captain America is cool." "Captain Mexico is his enemy." "They will always grab his tasks." "And Captain America's shield is made of Captain China." " Captain China?" " As is with the French knight." " What's he doing?" " Waiting for help and surrender." " Do you like any superhero?" " Wonder Woman." "She has a lasso, which makes you tell the truth." "When it gets kinky, we hear:" "Of course I will take care of your sister." "Yes, the stars makes your butt big." "No, it was not rash." "Halloween came a sexy gloat disguised as a whore: candy or stuff?" "I took both." "I eat like candy for Halloween but the names and treacherous." "Never say I'm crazy with the Three Musketeers." "'Really?" "'So you will probably like a Blow Pop?" "I do not know what happens when you bite into a Oh Henry!" "So you'll probably Skittles." "And ends with a syrling." "And no Butterfingers!" "They could have been anywhere." " But I love the costumes." " Have you always good?" "Apart from when I was a cat." "There was a misunderstanding, when Bubba J had been drinking 12 beers." "Want to see my bruises?" "Want to see where he scratched me?" "Want to see my sidekick?" "My sidekick." "Do you have a sidekick?" "A sidekick to Batnut?" " Is it Jose?" " Maybe." "Get him." "See, see, see." " Who are you?" " My sidekick." " Robin?" " Ruben." " I'm Ruben." " Yes." "Are you a superhero?" " Okay, Jose." " Ruben." " Can I help you, citizen?" " Excellent question, not a citizen." "Do you have super powers?" "What?" "I can beat you with my stick." "Or stab you in the eye." "If you eat me, I scorches your ass." "And with bad guacamole to He gives you myldrebæ." "Ruben, are you a fan Batman and Robin?" " Why are you dressed like that?" " Senor Peanut dressed." "I could not stop him." " Why not?" " He has no arms." "He is not Batnut, He is Captain mess." " I like your costume." " I'm looking for something that gave me nightmares." "A large plate nachos?" "No, I would look like an ugly whore." "But I could not find a mask that looked like your sister." " Wait a minute." " What the hell?" " Idiot." " Tell me ..." "Why dress your whole family to not seem like a long fence?" "Do you know what makes Jose afraid?" "A deep fryer and cheese in the ass." "I know of one there is the cheese in the ass." "Ask your mother." "Have our sidekick any tasks?" "Should you not even drive a car?" "Stem plus stick?" "It is prohibited in certain states." " If you have no strength?" " Or limbs?" " How do you guys?" " Tear gas." "'Pepper spray' had been funnier." "Why did not you 'Pepper spray'?" "It can not be without moving their lips." "How do you spray the bad guys?" "There are children in the hall." " Been sidekick before?" " No, but accessories." "Got it?" "Garnish." "With cheese, to your mother." "A sidekick helps the hero, if he gets in trouble." " What do you do if Batnut is beaten?" " Laughs." "And put the movie on YouTube." "He will get many hits." "Who is pinata now?" "When it is Halloween, you must get out and ringing doorbells?" "From house to house." "And if he is unemployed, he is in a home business." " Jose, what were you last year?" " Mexican scout." "He helped an old lady across the border." " Where did you get the mask from?" " Senor Peanut." "A cloth with two holes was enough." "My undies." " Is his mask your underwear?" " Is that why my eyes sting?" "Thank you, Taco Bell." "He looks like something a homo-cat has regurgitated." "As Batnut and Ruben do you have an arch-enemy, a villain?" " Si, senor." " Yes." " Can we see him?" " You see him every day." "He said:" "You see him every day." " I heard him well." " Hvofor told you so 'what'?" "He said:" "Why did you say 'what'?" "Why are you yelling like that?" " You keep saying 'what'." "He obviously can not hear us." " I hear fine." " He gets old." "See for yourself." " He said 'what' again." " It goes downhill after the 50th" "He farts also more." "Yes, that makes old men." " I'm sorry." " Now he farting again." "He is at least polite." " Boys ..." " Yes, Jeff?" " It's okay to be old." " It happens to everyone." "If one does not die." " I hear very well." " Why are you yelling so?" " I do not know." " He is confused." " No, I'm not." " Do not admit it." " What are you talking about?" " And he is senile." " It's okay." " I'm sorry." "Have you haggled again?" " No." " Was it only once?" " What if I killed you?" " Then you Homicidal." " That's right." " You admit that you are gay?" " How gay?" " You say that you are Homicidal." "Now the mad again." " Peanut?" " Batnut." "Do you have an arch-enemy?" "Who is it?" "You." "Our nemesis is in Jose's box." "In the box, there is only a ventriloquist, that looks like me." " That's right." " Should I get little Jeff?" "You can then try." "You can also get it to talk, senor?" "It would be something new." "Hi, I'm Jeff small." "It would be a short performance." "There this one the only one." "Is this your great enemy?" "Yes." "See, my nemesis." "It is wonderful." "It's just little J.D., my doll." " You forgot the mask." "Find it." " Does he have a mask?" " Here, senor." "Now look." "Ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce:" "Loseren." "I Loseren." "Peanut ..." "Wait there again." " I'm Loseren." " Clear." " Why is it so funny?" " He's a loser." " It is you." " Yes, Dunham  Dunhamer." " We are Loserne." " This is stupid." " Ask for his forces." " Yes, do it." "I do not speak with a doll!" " Ask now on his forces." " Come on, senor." "Loser, what forces do you have?" "You're talking to a doll." "What a loser." "You must also have an L on his forehead." " Do you have any powers?" "Losers." " He's like you, but everything is smaller." " Not everything." " Does he have any power at all?" " Yes." " What is it?" " He scares women away." " See for yourself." " I'm a ventriloquist." " Does he do anything?" " He plays with dolls." " How am I." " And with himself." "This is rather him." " Does he have a secret place?" " The enclosure." " Two words." " Blue Prius." "Senor, it is Spanish for 'My car is gay'." "Loser Cruiser." " I do not like the name." " He's probably not a loser." "We make a new mask shaped like a W." "I Wattet." "I'm curious." "All superheroes have an archenemy." "But also all villains." "Have Loser also an arch rival?" "Only one." "The evil ruthless Ali documentation." " Did you get it?" "Ali documentation?" " I'm with." "But only one hero can save him from Ali documentation." "He is strong, stupid, rich, but easy to manipulate." "Other Real-Man" "But so stupid she is probably not?" "According to our agreement I must not talk about it." "But we must be like?" "Yes, no problem." " Continued." " It was Batnut and Ruben." "In Keeloween." "That night he returned." "I-kill-you ..." "This neighborhood ... this house ... these people ..." "Amazingly, I'll kill you." "... Will soon their life's biggest shock." "What are we left   When all this will be revealed?" "For heavy." "How do I kill them?" "When the sinister secret appears?" "Achmed?" "In Keeloween." "The night he   It returned." "Greetings, Savannah disbelief." "Why are you dressed like that?" "I had to dress up as scariest thing I could think of." " What are you?" " A woman." " Just a woman?" " Worse: an American woman." "Silence?" "Impossible." " Are American women bad?" " They can vote." " Yes, and drive a car." " Non-Asian." " It is very racist." " But factually correct." " Where are you from?" " From Cosmo." " Cosmo?" " I took their quiz." "Yes, the quiz." "'Are you a racist bitch?" "'" " Jaså." " And you know what?" " What scares you otherwise?" " Apart from anything?" "Money." "Marries make do with a woman, are all similar bomb money soon gone." "For all the money she Feeder, I can not neck Jews." "Not only Jews, but it rhymes with 'Feeder'." "I could have said anything about the black." "But Jews are more fun." "I like the black." "Yes, we white girls like black men." "It states:" "After a black chooses never white or small pets." "I can see that you are looking at me." "What do you think?" "Beautiful hair." "And I can promise you that curls match the carpet." "What?" "I talked about my beard, idiots." "Such a wallpaper I have not." " It's a bit unexpected." " Do you think the blond hair?" "Before I was suicidal, Now I'm a sexpot character." "It is easy to play woman for the the explosion was scrotum not found." "I should have used a cup." " A cup?" " A big one, as Venus Williams." "I love the guy and his brother." " The skeletal ..." " What did you call me?" " A skeleton." " You just want to flatter me." "I want to lose weight five kilograms to." " You're skinny." " Yes, difficult, Angelina." "Eat something." "A sandwich, one or more." " What size is the dress?" " It asks not a woman on." "But if you really want to know, I use size zero." " How did you get to zero?" " My diet." "Suicide Terror." "I lost 100 kilograms at 0.2 seconds." "Now I can just eat away." "There goes right through me." "Just hand me a cheeseburger and a bucket." " You look good." " No, I feel bloated." "I feel thick." "I get cramps." "Now I'm crying." " What is it?" " I do not know." "Stay away from me." " Achmed ..." " No, no." "Achmedina." " Clothes Do you often like that?" " Only for drinks." "Not, ladies?" "Someone told me that I look like a model from Victoria's Secret." "I know what their secret is." " I like your pink dress." " Hello, fuchsia." " You look good." " You see, I have done something?" "The last time I had so much plastic on me, it exploded." "Well, Jeffrey, do you think, To my ævere is neat?" "'Udders'." "Call them what you will." "Just gives you dinner first." "My eyes are up here." "My ævere can not speak." "But you can probably well get them ten, right?" "You could also get my vote to come out of the vagina." "Or as I call it:" "my terror cave." "Is not that right, ladies?" "Your Terri ball?" "I said 'terrorist den'." "I heard it as 'territorial sphere'." "What the hell?" "Looking now for me topping?" "It is made of sour cream." "You misunderstood what I said?" "You really need help." " Your costume is not scary" " Do not you think?" "If I rang ..." "Ding-dong." "Do you remember our evening at Applebee's?" " I carry your child." " It would be scary." "When an angry blonde ringing on with you, is not candy, but half." " Is there a female suicide bombers?" " It encourages it." "It's easier than divorce." "Think about that." "I'm working on a new weapon, to female suicide bombers." "A tambom, just pull the cord." "Admit, however, that it was good." "Another thing:" "You see scary movies?" "Yes, as I Know What You Did Last Ramadan." "Doctor Jekyll and Hide or We'll All Be Killed!" "But especially Silence!" "of the Lambs." "Fortunately, with the mouth, for if the lambs could talk ..." "No sheep jokes." "There are children in the hall." "Really?" "Then it's time to talk." "When a man and a sheep really love each other ..." " Stop it." " It says sheepishly always." "Therefore, you must go to a lamb, for they are stationary." "Listen, after the show you will then buy some female thing to me?" "You know, Summer's Eve?" "I do not feel so fresh." "I think the carrots was corrupted." "Or is it a hummus infection." " You are very confused." " But I'm delicious, is not it?" "May I tell you a secret" "I enjoy going dressed like this." "You should give it a chance." " Try it again." " I've never dressed me as a woman." "Publicly, you mean." "What happens in the tour bus, is in the tour bus." "Susan." "You've been great." "Thank you!" "Come on, Roadie." "Thank you!"