"[girl] Welcome home, Hunter." "This is your house." "Gonna look out of that window." "There's your front door." "Hi, Dad." "How are you?" " [woman] Happy." " [girl] Hi, little man." "[Dad] We got to keep him out of the sun, too, OK?" "[girl] Yeah." "How are you feeling?" "[Dad] Guess who changed the first, like, 15 diapers?" " This guy, right here." " Wait, wait." "Guess who was in labor for a day?" " This girl." " I've been in labor for..." " Hi." " [girl] That's your mama." "Hi." "Hunter, this is Martine, your new nanny." "She will probably fix your dirty diapers" " because I won't." " [Martine] Can I see?" "[Dad] Yes." "Oh, my goodness." "Look at this." " [girl] He's cute, right?" " Isn't he adorable?" "[girl] He's kind of smooshy looking." "I'm not gonna lie." "He's just newborn, he's a newborn... [girl] Seriously, the cutest baby ever, next to me." "Second to me." "Just touch him and cuddle him all day long." "[Dad] You see how tiny he is?" "Do you mind if I take him?" "Not if he's sleeping, but I want to take him on a tour of the house." "Mm." "OK." "He's not sleeping." "[Dad] That's Abby." "Gonna be your best friend." "Bye, sweetie." "This is a fireplace." "This is how Mommy seduced Daddy..." " [mother] Oh." " [Dad] ...and that's how we got you." "And that's why you're watching this video at 25." "[Dad] This is your room." "There's your crib." "It's a little sparse right now." "Just got some caterpillar action going on." ""Hunter." See?" "Pretty cool." "This is your sister's trashed room." " [girl] No, I'll check with him." " [Dad] Oh, there she is." "Wassup, brother from another mother?" " [Dad] What?" " No, Hunter's in..." "You're never allowed to come in here, ever." "Unless I invite you." "In which case, it's gonna be the best day of your life." "By the way, that's my bathroom." "Don't ever go in there." "[Dad] That's half your bathroom." "It's actually my bathroom, 'cause I bought it." "All that is mine." "Don't pee on my seat!" "[Dad] This is the living room that no one ever uses." "This is my first man cave." "That's where all my genius ideas come." "This is the second man cave, where we're gonna watch Chargers games together." "This is my 50-inch monster." "Look at that." "It's beautiful." " [mother cooing] - [Hunter crying]" "I don't even know if I swaddled him right." "It's just..." "Yeah." "Hi, baby boy." "Hi." "Hi." " [girl] He smells good." " Yes. [kissing sounds]" " [mother laughs]" " You're just like Daddy." "You make poops all the time." "[speaking Spanish]" " Is that good?" "S?" "." "[chuckling] OK." "Is a special baby?" "[singing in Spanish]" " Thank you." " [Dad] That is so cute." " [doorbell rings] - [girl] I'll get it!" " Hey!" "Let me see this baby." " [girl] Hi!" " [girl] Aunt Katie!" " [whispering] Where is he?" "[girl] He's upstairs." "[Katie] Hi." "Hi." "Hi." "[whispering] You are so precious." "Hi. [chuckles]" "I already love you so much." " My sister did good." " [Dad] Yeah." "You probably had a little part in it, I don't know." " [Dad] Very little." " Hi." "[Dad] It's her boyfriend." "Yeah, he's a big boy, just like his... [girl] Kinda just eating cookies." "[Katie] Hello, baby." " [girl] Dad, my burger?" " Or whatever." " Right, sorry." " [girl] Gimme another plate." " [girl] Nice." " Did you get that?" "[girl] I want you to meet..." " Wait." " ...my Aunt Katie." "Does it stay on?" "[boy] It does stay on, but I didn't want to get it wet." "Oh, no, of course not." "That would be ridiculous." " That would ruin it." " [Katie] That is so..." " Swear to God, I will kill you." " [boy] Look at that, perfect." "Perfect handoff right there." "She's my only niece." "Not really, but I think of her as my niece." "She's my step-niece." " [boy] Aww." " [feigns evil laugh]" " I'm the evil step-aunt." " Step?" "[boy] The evil step-aunt?" "I'm not sure how to take that." "I'm not sure..." "Well, I'm not really evil, but I can be evil is my point." " [grunts playfully] - [Ali laughs] Dad, the face came off!" " [grunting] - [girl laughing]" " There can be only one!" " I will not let you go." "[mother] I can't believe he's over a year old." " [girl] Where's Micah?" " Oh, he, um..." "He wasn't up for hanging out today." "[mother] I can't find the tape." "[Dad] That's fine, I'm just gonna tape over an old one." "Can you get Abby out of here, please?" "She's gonna get cut on the glass!" "We just got back and the whole place has been just destroyed." "Nothing seems to be missing." "It's just, everything's really..." "But that's what she's telling me." "Make sure we document everything." "Don't touch anything." "[Dad] This is our foyer." "The furniture's damaged." "My daughter Ali's room." "It just feels... gross that somebody was in here." "[Dad] Master bedroom." "Yeah, so that's great." " Your watches are still there?" " [mother] Yeah." "Diamonds are here." "The only thing missing is the necklace my sister made me." "[Dad] Oh, sweetie." "This is horrible." "It's fucking horrible." "[Dad] It's the nursery." "[sighs] As far as I know, this room was not touched." "[Dad] This is our basement." "I don't see anything really broken." "I don't know if there's anything..." "[Ali] I don't think they did anything down here." "I..." " What is that?" " [Dad] Hm?" "[Ali] Is that Abby?" "It really stinks, though." " Oh." " [Dad] Well, clothes are still here." "Your bikes are still here." " Not that you're using those." " And your bike is over here, so..." " [Ali] And the epic clean continues." " It's not so bad, right?" " This looks like we had a party." " [all chuckle]" " Right?" " [Ali] Worst party ever." "[sighs] I don't know, kiddo." "This is messed up." "[Ali] What are you talking about?" "They didn't take anything." "We're fine." " [sighs] - [Ali] You're fine." "So this is it." "Um..." "Like I said, about a week ago," " the place was completely trashed." " [Ali] Hello." " Hello." " That's our daughter, Ali." "Pretty much every room in the house." "We had both doors locked." "Put one up here, up in the corner, and then you get the whole stairway, the front door, this whole hallway." "One over there, facing this way, you'd get this door and this door." "Or have one in here, getting all these windows, the sliding..." "[Ali] They run, like, all the time?" "Yeah, they're always recording." "You can't get away with anything." "That stuff." "Corner up there, so you get who's coming in and out" " of this door, that door." " Bathroom." "And you get to see the baby at night, too." "[Ali] You're not putting one in my bathroom, right?" " Yeah." "What?" " [Ali] Wait." "Put a camera that sees in complete dark." "It'd be perfect." " Yeah, really?" " Yeah, oh, yeah." " Yeah, OK, that'd be sweet." " They'll look like motion detectors." "Little tiny hole." "I have one I could show you." " [Ali] Can you put one in that bunny?" " Very cool." "[all laugh]" "And then we can, I can set you up with the..." "Yeah, so, I'm gonna close it up there like that." "It's hidden." "Can't even tell it's a camera." "[Ali] How many are we getting?" "I don't know." "But what'd you...?" "What, is that... six?" " I don't know." " One, two, three... [van alarm chirps]" "[crickets chirring]" "[crickets chirring]" "What are you doing out here, little buddy?" "[Abby whining]" "[Ali] Yeah." "Go get it." "You're super fast, big man." "What's Martine doing?" "What is she doing?" "[Martine speaking Spanish]" " [Ali chuckles] He's good, right?" " [Martine speaks Spanish]" "[Ali] You're a good puppy." "What you say, Abby?" "Hey, Hunter." "Hunter, you want another fishy?" "What are you doing?" "What you doing?" "What's up, Martine?" " Wassup?" "What's up, Ali?" " [both laughing]" "[Ali] What were you doing?" "What were you doing earlier?" "When you were, like, talking to yourself?" "All crazy like." "Are you going crazy here, too?" "No... crazy." "[Ali] You're just getting it from all of us." "[speaks Spanish]" "[Ali] The house is..." "There are bad things in the house?" "No. [speaks Spanish]" " [Ali] You're getting rid of spirits." " Uh-huh." " [Ali] OK." "All right." " [speaks Spanish]" " The good ones..." " [speaks Spanish]" " [Ali] We keep the good ones." " Yes." "[Ali] In with the good, out with the bad." "Yay!" "In with the paella, out with the..." "Holy crap, that's a lot of garlic." " Whee!" " [Dad laughs]" "One, two, three." "Whee!" " [Dad laughs]" " One, two, three." "[gasps] Whee!" "[Dad] Oh, I almost got him." " One, two..." " [Ali screams]" "Oh, my God!" "Look at what Martine left!" " [Dad] Oh!" " [Ali] Disgusting!" "I wanna throw up!" "It..." " [Dad laughs] Ohh!" " She put it in the freaking..." " [Dad] No, you!" "That was you!" " It's not me!" " [Dad] Don't blame somebody else!" " Hand to God!" "[Dad] God, there was like a live crawdaddy in there." " She clogged it." "I can't look." " [Dad] That is a stench-ilada." " That is horrible." "You're grounded." " [Ali] I'm not capable of..." "[Dad] You are grounded." "Awful." "This is the best bath..." " [Dad] It looks pretty good." " ..." "I've..." "I think it..." "Well, if you come in, it'll be the best bath I've ever..." "It's so quiet and, like, there's nobody here." "It's fantastic." "[Dad] I love Martine, but I'm kind of loving the fact that she's not here." " Yeah." " [Dad] What time is your sister coming?" "Um..." "What time is it now?" "[Dad] 7:20." "Something like that." " Oh, like an hour or so." " [Dad] Hm." "You should definitely pop in." "[Dad] I don't want to smash you, but I kind of want to get in." "You don't want to smash me?" "I kinda want you to smash me." " [Dad] Really?" "Oh." " Yeah." " Let me release the Kraken." " [laughs]" "[crickets chirring]" "[Hunter crying]" "Hey." "You're OK." "Aw." "Aw." "I gotcha." "You're OK." "You're OK." "[Dad] Look, it's perfect, right?" " [Ali] That's a lot of grease in there." " [Dad] I'm gonna drain it." "[Ali] Here, goofy mug." "[Dad] Do you need anything?" " [Ali] Hey!" " Mm, are you making breakfast?" " Thank you so much." " How you doing?" " I was, but, uh..." "Hola." " [Dad] Did he keep you up?" " Yeah, yeah." " He definitely kept me up." " [Dad] Yeah, he does that." "I love you so much." " I love you so much." " Thank you so much." " I love you so much." " [Ali] Aw." "You're amazing." "I don't think I'm really awake yet, though." "There's coffee." "?" "I love my sister She's the best ?" "[Hunter cries]" "[Ali] Remember that time you tried to be a vegan" " for like six hours?" " A day and a half?" " That was a difficult time." " It was for one meal." " Making bacon?" " Yeah. [laughs]" " Good morning." " [Ali] Yo, yo, yo, what up?" "Thank you for loaning out your beautiful girlfriend for the night." " [Ali] What up?" " She made my day." " Tell me that's not yours." " [Ali] It's not really mine, no." "[Dad] Thanks for not watching the sausage for us, Ali." "[Ali] I did watch it!" "[mother] It's mine and hers." "She uses it most." "Cool." "It's HD." "Do I get some love, too?" " [Katie grunts] - [Ali] What?" " [Hunter cries] - [Katie] You scared little Hunter." "[Hunter continues crying]" "How's it going?" "Can I get you some coffee?" " Dude, I have a bone to pick with you." " [Dad] Yeah?" "I went into Burger King, and I was like, hey, man." "I tossed your name around and they didn't give me any free food, dude." " I don't own, like, every Burger King." " [all laughing]" " [mother] He's not actually the king of Burger King." " I'm not?" "I'm still in the process of easing him in to the fact that we live together and, therefore, the house should represent the both of us." "Well, yeah, but the both of us, like, a give and take." "Like you have your beading thing or whatever it is, and then I have my area, you know?" " The whole rest of the house?" " [Ali] Of manliness." "[mother] I'm telling you, that baby's gonna be a rock star when he grows up." "[Ali] Yeah, get it." "Whoa!" "Dad, careful, are you watching that?" "There was no sign of forced entry, but..." "They trashed our whole house." "I mean, I think it was more vandalism." "See that thing in the corner?" "Looks like a motion detector?" " Are you, like...?" " [Dad] That's a camera." "[Ali, sing-song] We're watching you!" "[mother] You like little wheels that roll." "[laughs] You're such a ham." "Such a ham." "Are you leaving?" "[mother] Things have gotten a little difficult since he learned how to open the door." " Aw." " [both laugh]" "[Katie] So are you freaked out after the break in?" "[mother] Yeah, I mean, I definitely was." "I don't think I was sleeping very well." "Oh, sweetie?" "Sweetie." "I would be freaked out, too, if, you know, somebody had broken into my house." "[mother] Well, it's just, they didn't take anything." "You know?" " Yeah." " I don't know." "[mother] It seemed personal." "It feels like they're always still here." "You know?" "I don't know, I..." "I get this feeling, like when we were little." "What?" "[mother] Mm." "Never mind." " [Hunter coos]" " Mac and cheese," " mac and cheese." " Hey, Kris?" "I'm gonna go out." "I'm not gonna be in." " Oh, OK." "Where are you going?" " Just the mall." "All right, well, have fun." " [Ali] Bye!" " Bye!" "[Kristi] Mac and cheese." "Mac and cheese." " [Kristi and Hunter laugh] - [Kristi] No?" "[soft thud]" "[thudding]" "[softly] Hey, what's up there?" "[soft thud]" "[crickets chirring]" "[Hunter cooing] [musical toy plays]" "[Ali makes ticking sounds] Let's look at baby Hunter." "Boy, that one was bad." "That's that bee bonnet that the..." "[Ali] He's like, that was totally humiliating." "Nobody needs to see this." " Oh, this is crazy." " [Ali] What?" " Who do you think that is?" " [Ali] Is that you?" "No, that's your Aunt Katie." "That's..." " [Ali] That's Katie?" " That's so weird." "I thought we lost all our pictures in the fire." "That's great." "[Martine speaks Spanish]" " [Ali] Yo, Martine?" " Uh-huh." "[Ali] Kristi and Dad are out tonight." " I'm going out tonight." " Uh-huh." "[Ali] You gonna have your boyfriend over?" "Have a party?" " [speaking Spanish] - [Ali] Yeah." "EsteBrad.Novio. - [Ali] Yeah." "He, he boy." " ...want handsy, handsy, touchy." "No." " [Ali laughing]" ""No."" " [Ali] The handsy, handsy, touchy?" " The handsy-handsy?" "." "Is that the kind of dance you were showing me, the Handsy?" "Shake it." "[both laughing] [counting in Spanish]" "[crickets chirring]" "[thudding]" "[soft rattling]" "[faint thudding]" " [loud crashing] - [Hunter cries]" " [Martine speaks Spanish] - [Abby barking]" "[speaking Spanish]" "[crying continuing]" " [crying subsides] - [speaking Spanish]" "[speaking softly in Spanish]" "I thought I was gonna have to give him the Heimlich." "Hey, what are you doing?" "[Martine speaks Spanish]" "That's enough, Martine." "Put it down." "[Kristi] Martine, he's fine." "[Dad] I've asked you not to do this, OK?" "It is not good for the baby." " Please, put it out right now." " [Martine continues]" "[Dad]No m?" "s, no m?" "s." "That's enough." "Put it out right now, please." " OK, that's enough." " [speaking Spanish]" "What are you doing?" " The baby is fine, OK?" " No, no." "The baby should not be breathing that." "Nobody should." " [Martine continues in Spanish]" " No, I don't..." "Just stop doing it, please." "[whispering] Goddamn it." "[coughs] [whispering] God." "OK, that's like two months." "All right?" "[Martine speaks Spanish]" "[both speak Spanish]" " OK?" "I told you." "S?" "." "[Martine muttering in Spanish]" "I do understand, OK?" "I just," "I don't believe in that stuff, OK?" "It's just..." "I cannot have that stuff in my house." "OK?" " [Martine] OK." " [Dad] I'm sorry." "Can I give you a great recommendation, OK?" "You were very good for us." " [lawnmower buzzing] - [indistinct conversation]" "Da-da." "Come on, make Daddy proud." "Say, "Da-da."" "Hunter, look over here." "Hunter?" "You are so like your dad." "Sweetie." "Sweetie?" "Come on, come on." "What are you looking at?" " Look at Mama." " [Hunter whining]" "Look at Mama." " [whining]" " Buddy?" "What?" "What?" "Oh." "Look over here." "There's nothing there, goofball." "Where are you going?" "Hunter?" "I can't see you back there." "We were up in the nursery, playing, and I was trying to get him to say "Da-da" again, and he just wouldn't focus." "He was looking at the ceiling and mirror," " everywhere but me." " Well, he's a baby." "He's got, like, an attention span of a guppy." "You know?" "I guess, but there was definitely something he was focused on, and it wasn't my pretty face." " [Dad] Hey." " What are you doing?" " What's going on?" " [Dad] Nothing much." "Check this out." " Dad, can you please not do that?" " [Dad] Yeah, night vision." "Cool, I'm gonna get nail polish on the bed." "Please?" "You got freaky eyes." "You look like a possum." "Dad." " There we go." " Painting my nails, Dad." "Why are you in here?" "What do you want?" " [Dad] Sorry, crabby." " I'm not crabby." "You're Crabby McRumpelstein." " Why did I fire Martine?" " Yeah." "[Dad] Because I didn't like her doing all that weird" " witchy stuff around Hunter." " It wasn't witchy." "It wasn't witchy..." "It wasn't hurting anybody." "It made her feel better, and she wanted to make us feel better." "She was, like, slaughtering goats out by the pool, OK?" " [laughs] No, she wasn't." " All right." "Good luck and it's..." "Stay in the lines." " What?" "Dad!" " [Dad] Check it." " [Ali] On!" "Stop!" " [Dad] Off." "[Dad] Let me get one more." "Oh!" "[crickets chirring]" "[Hunter cries]" "[Hunter panting]" "[Kristi, indistinct]" " [Hunter cries]" " Aw, come here." "Shh." "Come here, come on." "It's OK." "It's OK, buddy." "It's OK." "Shh, shh, shh, shh." "[soft rattling]" "[chuckles] Ah, no." "It's OK, buddy, there's nothing there." "Is that what woke you up, buddy?" "[rattling]" "[soft thud]" " [rattling at window] - [mobile music plays]" " [loud crash] - [gasps]" " [muffled footsteps] - [Kristi] Daniel!" "Daniel?" "God." "Nasty." "[Ali] Dad, don't pick it up with your hands." " [Daniel] Why not?" " [Ali] Because it could, like..." "They can have diseases and stuff..." " It flew into the window..." " [Ali] It's so sad." "I don't even want to look at it." " [Ali] What?" " Its neck is all broken." "[Ali] Oh, my God, just put it in the thing!" "I'm trying to..." "[Ali] Why did you pick it up with tong...?" " [Ali] I don't know." " What do you think?" " [Ali] Stop!" " Medium, medium rare?" " [Ali] You're really mean." " It's just a dead bird." " Oh." " It was a live bird." "And then it..." " [Ali] It's really sad." " OK." "[Ali] You like the ball?" "You like ball?" "Ball, ball, hit it." "Smack it!" "What's in there?" "Get in." "What's in there?" " [whimpers] - [Ali] Oh, buddy." "Buddy, buddy, buddy, buddy." "Hunter?" "Oh, shit." "Hunter, come here!" "Come here." "[static crackles]" "[crickets chirring]" "[loud clattering] [pan rattling on floor]" " [loud clanking] - [screams]" "Fuck!" "[whimpering]" "What are you doing back out here?" "Go." "[Micah] Your dog does not like pool cleaners." "Yo, what's the deal with your dog?" "!" "Honestly, we're not really sure." "Splash, splash." "One, two, three." "Splash, splash, splash." "[Micah] This is the cutest thing I've ever seen." "Splash, splash, splash." "[Micah] I think I might definitely start to replace my girlfriend with this camera." " Uh-huh." "See?" "We're scared." " [Micah] It's got more features." "Flip the thing, film yourself." "It flips." "Oh, yeah, yeah." " Oh, shit." " [Daniel] Then it shows you..." "No." "I'm definitely getting one of these." "[Micah] I'll bet you guys go extracurricular with this." "Who has time for that?" "We've got a baby." "[Micah] How's Daniel Rey and his brood doing?" "Oh, apparently, we have a ghost." "Did you hear about this?" "[Micah] I did not." "Please elaborate, 'cause that's a very strange thing to..." "A couple pots fell off our pot hanger thing in the kitchen." " [Micah] You definitely have a ghost." " Straight to ghost." "That's the most logical..." "[Daniel] She thinks everything is, like, a ghost or a..." "Don't you, honey?" " What?" " [Micah humming] Duh-duh-duh-duh..." "[Daniel] Think everything is a ghost?" "[Katie] You don't have a ghost." "[Micah] Yeah, you're definitely haunted." " No." " [Daniel] You and your sister are, like, freaky..." "[Micah] Katie, you're into this stuff?" "[Daniel] You don't know this stuff?" "They used to do, like, séances and shit when they were little." " [Micah] No!" " [Daniel] Yes." "We didn't do séances." " No." " [Micah] Who'd you talk to?" "You're making a mountain out of a molehill." " [Micah] Katie..." " Babe, it was really no big deal." " [Micah] What's no big deal?" " I probably, you know," "I just don't talk about this stuff anymore." "[Micah] What stuff?" "[Daniel] They used to do séances when they were little kids." "It's really not that funny." "You're laughing." "It's not a big deal, babe." "The truth is, when we were kids, we got a little freaked out, but it's really no big deal." "And we're having a good day today, so let's just..." "[Micah] We'll explore this" " in detail later." " Let's focus..." "What about the Lizzie Borden one?" "The axe murderer one?" "[Katie] You're thinking of every, like, childhood..." "How, where do, how would I..." "Back me up..." "How would I know this stuff if you didn't tell us?" "[Micah] What's your take on this ghost situation?" "I think it's awesome." "How could I put it up wrong?" "It's on a hook." "Once it goes up, it's up." "You were probably putting it on the edge of the top part, instead of inside." "The fact that it fell a second time probably proves" " that you put it up wrong both times." " OK." "You want me to show you how to put it up?" "No, no, no." "Then why are you putting the pool cleaner back in every morning?" "For the last week?" "'Cause it's a pool cleaner, and I want it to clean the pool." " How does it get out at night?" " [laughs] How does it get out?" " Yeah." " Is it taking the car?" "Is it, like...?" " Oh, come on, honey." "No, really." " I don't know." "I assume somebody takes it out when they go swimming." "I don't take it out, and you don't take it out." "Ali, do you take the pool cleaner out of the pool?" " What?" " Do you take the pool cleaner out of the pool?" "[Ali] No." "What?" "So it's crawling out of the pool?" "It's crawling out of the pool by itself?" "I don't know." "Let's..." "You know what?" "You wanted all the cameras." "Let's go check the DVR." "Fine, let's go check it." " You serious?" " Yeah, I'm very serious." "We'll find out what else is going around here at night." " Can I tape it, though?" " Yeah." " [Ali] What?" " [Kristi] See?" "[Daniel] That is weird." "Maybe I have it set too high or something, I don't know." "[Kristi] No." "No, I don't, I don't think the settings are off." "[Ali giggles] Maybe the settings are off." "Um..." "That's what we got it for." "It's probably trying to be proactive." "Do the little patio." "[Ali chuckles] It's like one of those vacuum cleaner things you set up." "Yeah, it's like a Flowbee, but with... [both laugh]" "I don't know if the house is haunted, but I hope it is." " [Daniel] You hope it is?" " Yeah." "Are you kidding me?" "That would be fucking awesome." "[Daniel] Why would you hope that the house is haunted?" "That'd be the coolest thing ever." "If there was somebody trying to, like, get through to us," " that would be amazing." " [Daniel] No, I just..." "Kristi is obviously not sleeping." " [makes clock-like ticking sounds] - [Daniel] Dude." "She doesn't have any..." "Her hormones are all kooky." "She's got... paranoid mommy just interpreting them in the wrong way." "Like, she's seeing them as, as harmful and dangerous." "And maybe we should just see them as something trying to, like..." "Like, I think we should have a séance." " We could go full out..." "What?" " [Daniel] That's a great idea." "[Daniel] Just freaky." "I don't..." "I don't believe in it." "Why do you think that it necessarily has to be bad, though?" "That's all I'm asking." " [Daniel] How would it be good?" " Like, what if it's Mom?" "[crickets chirring]" "[Abby growling] [babbles excitedly]" "[rattling]" " [babbles] - [Abby whimpers]" " [window rattles] - [barking]" " [Daniel] Hey, guys." " [Ali] What?" "[Daniel] There's something you need to see." " [Kristi] What are you talking about?" " [Ali] What's going on?" " You're freaking me out." " You have to see..." "Honey, what are you talking about?" "What are... you talking about?" "What is it?" " I don't see anything." " I don't understand." " [both shriek]" " Ah-ha-ha!" " Yeah!" " That's not funny." "Yeah!" "[Ali shrieks, laughs]" "[Daniel] Sweetie?" "[sighs]" "[Daniel] Come on, that was kind of funny, right?" "I just, I hate it when you don't take me seriously." "[Daniel] I'm sorry, honey." "I do take you seriously." "I was just trying to..." "I'm just trying to lighten things up." "I just want us to kind of get back to normal." "[sighs]" "Like I was thinking maybe we could go out?" " Like..." "like grownups?" " Yeah, right." "[laughs] Right." "How am I gonna leave?" "[Daniel] Why, why are you laughing?" "We can go." " Martine's gone." " [Daniel] No, Ali can watch the baby." "With the break in, and all the weird stuff going on," "I just don't want to leave him alone." "[Daniel] You know, we can't just let this affect us that much." "If we do that, the terrorists win." " [laughs] - [Daniel] Right?" "I miss you, you know?" "I miss my wife, the fun wife." "And I know I've been kind of a tool." "And I just wanna..." "All right, so all the emergency numbers are in this cabinet." "Yep." "[Kristi] But now his new doctor is in there." " Mm-hm." " [Kristi] Also his allergist." " Mm-hm." " [Kristi] And remember," " no peanuts on anything." "Um..." " I know, no peanuts." " [Hunter grunts]" " Make sure the doors and the windows are locked, OK?" "Upstairs, in the back, out front, every..." " Go!" " I love you." " Have a great time with him." " Bye." " Mm, I love you!" " Bye." "Have a good time." " [car horn honks]" " Take the money." " Coming!" " Bye!" "Say, "Bye, Mama!"" "Bye." "Bye!" "[Ali] Don't get too wasted!" "Bye!" "Can you say bye-bye?" "[pounding on window]" "Jesus Christ." " [laughs] What the...?" " Hello?" " Did I scare you?" " Yes." " Lightly." "Have to warm up the board." " Mm-hm." "You have to warm up the board?" "If a spirit's present, will you give us a sign?" "Like, literally, anything." " Literally..." " Yeah, no, there's..." " [clears throat] OK." " [exhales]" "What do you want?" " Brad. [chuckling] Brad." " I'm not moving it." "It's not me." ""P" "U"..." " Ali, are you doing this?" " No, I'm fucking not." "..."S" "S"..." " [chuckling] What the fuck?" " Wait, it's still going." "It goes to the "Y." Oh, it spells "pussy."" "I mean, what, what..." "Hey, hey, hey." "[chuckling] Pussy?" "!" "Maybe the spirit..." "spirits want some pussy." " Spirits?" " Yes, the spirits might be horny" " at the moment." " Shh!" " You never know." "I know I am." " Pussy." "You know what?" "We should keep going." " Wait, do you feel that?" " Yes, 'cause you're moving it." "No, I'm not moving it." "No, this time I'm really not moving it." " It's..." " Wait. "H"..." "Pussy-ehh. [laughs]" "No, Ali, I'm really, I'm really not moving it this time." " I promise you." " [Ali laughing]" "No, what the fuck?" "Are you doing this?" "[laughing] No." ""N"..." " ..."T"..." " "Pussy Hunt."" "[Ali] It's like the worst game of Ouija ever." "[Abby whines]" "[Brad] Did you spell that?" "Are you trying to tell me something?" "[Ali] Yeah, yeah, I spelled "pussy hunt."" "[Brad] Would you like me to go on a pussy hunt?" "I can do that for you right now." "[man on TV] ...only $2.99 a square foot." "Complete bamboo flooring as low as $1.99 a square foot." "These deals..." "[TV continues faintly]" "[man 2 on TV] America runs on Dunkin'." "[man 3 on TV] Lumber Liquidators' warehouse is full of mill overstocks, bankruptcies, buyouts and deals, like six-millimeter laminate floor... [static crackles on TV]" "[TV cuts in and out]" "[TV stops] [static crackling]" "[low rumbling]" " [gasps] - [TV resumes] [man on TV] ...incredible prices on the best quality all-wood kitchen cabinets in honey oak, hickory, solid red oak and sumptuous dark chocolate, all in stock now at our warehouse stores." "[woman] Cabinets To Go doesn't have fancy showrooms, but they do have superb qual..." "[TV clicks off]" "[lock clicks]" "[door rattles loudly]" "Brad?" "[door slams]" " [rattles door handle]" " Come on." "[Abby growling]" " [Ali turning door handle] - [Ali] Oh, shit." "[pounds on door]" " [pounds on door] - [Ali] Shit." "[Abby whining] [pounds on door]" "[Abby barking]" "[heavy footsteps thudding] [heavy footsteps continuing]" "[floorboard creaks]" "[crib creaking]" "[Hunter crying]" " [Abby whimpers softly] - [crying continuing]" "[crying continues]" "[Hunter whimpers]" "[musical toy plays]" "[Hunter coos, giggles]" "[musical toy continuing]" "[Hunter giggles]" "[musical toy stops] [low rumbling]" "[Hunter babbling]" " [Abby whining]" " Hi." "Ali?" " [Hunter wailing]" " Oh." "Oh, there you go, that's better, right?" "Ali?" "[Daniel] Is Ali upstairs?" " No, she isn't up here." " She's not upstairs?" "Ali?" "Ali!" "[Ali] Dad?" "Dad?" "Kristi?" " Where have you been?" "!" " [Ali] Oh, my God." " Oh, my God, I am so sorry." " What happened?" "[Ali] I'm so sorry." "I got locked out." "Why would you even answer the door to somebody just knocking?" " Just open the door?" " No, I thought..." "Did you look outside to see who it was?" "Yes!" "Yes, I couldn't." "But that's the thing, see." "I couldn't see anybody, and I thought that Brad was out there." "But if you don't see anybody, then you don't go outside!" "Your little brother was upstairs by himself." " I know." "I was freaking out." " Right?" "I know." "I didn't, I've never," "I swear to God, I never would have done that." " I don't understand." "What happened?" " It wasn't an accident because something slammed the door behind me." "We were worried sick about..." "What do you mean?" "Wait, Daniel..." "I took a nap, and I heard somebody calling my name." " What?" " I felt something, like somebody was calling my name, and I felt somebody there." "Are you sure you weren't dreaming?" "You weren't there." "You didn't feel it." " The wind blew the door closed." " There wasn't any wind." "All right?" "I don't want to hear any more of this haunted house crap!" "OK?" "That's enough." "You guys are driving me crazy." "End of story." "It was like you said, with the pots falling." " You know what?" " I was taking a nap," " and something was calling my name." " Sweetheart..." "I'm just gonna go calm him down, OK?" "Just go upstairs and try to go to bed, OK?" "OK, buddy." "There you go." "No, no, no." "You're eating breakfast now." "You want it on here instead?" "OK." "Morning. [sighs]" "[Ali] Good morning." "Nice." "[Kristi] Mm." "Whoo." "Bye, little buddy." "Hot, hot, hot." "OK, Hunter." "Got to eat." "Got to eat." "Come on, buddy." "[Brad] I don't get it." "How can you not want a back rub?" "Because I'm concentrating." " [Brad] But you know you love it." " Stop." "But this site says that if it's, like, really persistent, which it is, obviously, at this point, that it's probably not a ghost." "It's probably something else." "And it's possibly a demon." "[Brad] Well, what's the difference between a demon and a ghost?" "Um, because ghosts are dead people, so they're, like, human energy." "And demons are not human." "They're just like, evil." "[Brad] Psyching yourself out, looking online there." "I'm not psyching myself out." "[Brad] Remember when I told you that my mom thought she had that, like, that flesh-eating disease?" "She freaked herself out." "It's kinda like that, you know?" " Oh, my God." "Babe, here." " [Brad] Let me see it." " [Ali] Like fourth paragraph down." " [Brad grunts] [clears throat] "It has been said that if a human makes a bargain with a demon for wealth, power, or any other benefit, they must forfeit their firstborn male." "If the debt is not honored, the demon will follow the..."" "[Ali] Why are you smiling?" "It's not funny." ""...will follow the defaulter and his or her brood until its soul of an infant is collected."" "So?" "OK, so this is the freakiest thing ever." "It happened to me last night." "This is the door closing by itself." "That's me walking outside." "Yeah." "Dad!" "Will you come in here, please?" "!" "OK, please stand over here and watch this." "[Daniel sighs] Jesus." "[Ali] Don't look at me, look at the screen." "Yeah." "The wind blows the door closed." " [Ali] Dad." " Thank you." "[Ali] Are you serious?" " It's happened to me a million times." " [Ali] There's no wind!" "The wind comes from the back when the windows are open." "[Ali] It's inside the house and nothing else is open!" "Turn it off and stop messing with the system." "[Ali] Dad, there's obviously something in the house!" "[Daniel] Please, come on." "[Ali] It's the same thing Martine's been saying." "[Daniel] Come get your dinner." "It's getting cold." "[crickets chirring]" "[thudding] [camera rattling]" "[Ali panting]" "[whispering] I think I just heard something coming from downstairs." " [thudding] - [gasps] Fuck!" "Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck." "Oh, Jesus Christ." "Fuck." "[toy whirring, ringing] [whistle toots] [whirring, ringing]" "[tooting] [toy stops]" " [toy whirring] - [Ali] Shit!" "[ringing] [whistle toots]" "[loud slamming]" "It woke me up." "Like, it sounded like the door or something." "So I kind of checked it out and Dad was snoring." "And..." "I caught it on here." "Do you want to see?" " Right there, you see?" " That's weird." "It's definitely weird." "It just freaks me out because it just reminds me of like what Martine was saying about the house." "What did she say about the house?" "She said that there were bad spirits in the house that she had to clear out." "She was clearing out the bad spirits and letting in the good spirits." "But something like that..." "I don't have any other explanation for." "Do you?" "I don't." "I..." "I remember being scared all the time." "What do you mean "scared all the time," though?" " I don't know." " No, but what do you mean?" " Like you felt, you felt scared..." " I don't remember." "I mean, I've been..." "I'm scared." "[Katie] So what, did she, like, lock herself out?" "[Kristi] Well, she said the door slammed shut on its own." " [Katie] No." " [Kristi] Oh, yeah." "[Katie] That's pretty darn creepy." " [exclaims] - [Kristi] Yeah." "[Kristi] Listen, this is gonna sound totally crazy, and I know that, but..." "I've been having this feeling lately that, that maybe whatever happened to us when we were little..." "I think it's starting again." "I don't want to talk about this, Kristi." "[Kristi] I don't remember anything." "I just remember being scared all the time." "What..." "You want to know what I remember?" "I remember you crying all the time." "I remember you couldn't sleep, and you got anxiety attacks." "I remember that you stopped talking for months." "I remember weird people came to our house and our mom was upset all the time." "That's what I remember." "Whatever it was, it thrived on fear." "The more we paid attention to it, the worse it got." "You need to leave this alone." "You need to ignore it, or you're gonna end up just like Mom." "Do you understand me?" "Do you understand me?" "[Kristi] Yeah, OK." "I will." "[Kristi humming softly]" "[Ali] Wanna go for a walk?" "Hm?" "Abby." "Come on." "[sighs]" "[water running]" "[low thud]" " [crashing]" " Oh, God!" "[gasps] [whimpers]" "[shuddering, gasping]" "God!" "Leave me alone!" "[tea kettle whistling]" "[whistling continuing]" "[whistling subsides]" "[Ali] Yo, Kris?" " Uh-huh." " [Ali] Are you OK?" " Yeah, I'm fine." " [Ali] Did something just happen?" "[Ali] Look at me." "Kristi." "Honey, everything is fine." "[Ali whispering] It's obviously not." "Look at... [whispering] Your Aunt Katie said that we can't talk about these things, OK?" "Because if you do, it just goes... worse." " Listen." " [Ali] What do you mean?" "Everything's fine." "Ali, just stop." "Everything's fine." "[Ali whispering] OK." "No, but listen to me." "That other website said that some people like, make deals with demons for wealth and power." "So what if, what if Kristi's great grandmother made a deal with a demon so she could get rich?" "I went through the entire," "I went through the entire family line." "And Hunter is the first male to be born on Kristi's side since, at least, the 1930s." "Don't tell me that shit isn't coincidence." "[crickets chirring]" "[whispering] Lie down." "Shh." "Good girl." "[Abby whining]" "[low rumbling]" "[thudding]" "[Abby barking]" "[Abby whines and barks] [growling, barking]" "[Abby yelping]" " [loud thud] - [barking stops] [panting]" " Dad?" " [Daniel] Yeah." "[Ali] Did you hear that?" "[Daniel] I heard something." "What the fuck?" "Oh, God, it's Abby." "Abby?" "Abby." " What's the matter, baby?" " [Ali] Oh, my God." " [Daniel] Oh, God." " [Ali] Is she OK?" "[Daniel] Yeah." "No, no, no." "Honey, grab my keys and stuff?" " [Daniel] Grab my shoes!" " [Kristi] What's going on?" "[Daniel] I don't know." "There's something wrong with Abby." " [Ali] Dad, I'm going with you!" " She's still breathing." " What can I do?" "What should I do?" " Stay here with Hunter." "OK." "I'll call you when we get there." " OK." " [Ali] Oh, my God." "[keypad beeping]" "Just call me back when you get this." "Let me know if she's OK." "OK, love you." "Hey, um... [sighs] Is she gonna be OK?" "[sighs]" "I love you." "Bye." "[sighs] [clanking]" "[clanking continues]" "[low rumbling] [gasps, shrieks] [screams] [panting]" "Oh, God, please!" "Let go of me!" "[grunting]" "[Hunter crying] [screams]" "No, don't!" "Hunter!" "Please!" "[shrieking]" "Please!" "Ah!" "[Hunter crying] [crying continues]" "[crying stops]" "[low rumbling]" "No, I don't know." "They thought it was a seizure." "No, she's never had one before, ever." " And she was making this noise." " Ali?" "Babe, I got to call you right back, OK?" "Honey, I'm really sorry to do this to you." "I know this is really bad timing." "There's something wrong with Kristi, OK?" " I can't get her out of bed." " What's wrong with her?" "...guys from Portland." "I've been putting them off for weeks." " I can't blow them off." " OK, please, listen to me." "Can I just take Hunter to Brad's?" "No, I need you to stay here." "I'll come home when you come home." "Honey, I know this sucks." "I do, I know, OK?" "I know you're freaked out and I'm really sorry." "I'll be there for like two hours, all right?" "And I have to pick up Abby." "OK?" "Please?" "I'm sorry, OK?" "I... call me." "I'll be, like, two hours." "If anything's wrong, just call me and I'll be right here," " OK?" " [Ali] OK." "I just cannot miss this today." " Thank you." "OK?" " [Ali] OK, bye." "All right, don't worry." "Lock the door behind me, OK?" "[Ali] Yeah, I mean, obviously." "No, I put him down." "He's sleeping." "She's not here." "She's still at the vet's." "No, 'cause they have to run tests 'cause they don't know what it was." "Brad, it was..." "like fucking..." "I've never heard her cry like that." "Or just tell them that you want to come over for an hour." "Please?" "Please." "No, I just don't want to be here alone." "Yeah, well, basically." "She's sick or something." "OK." "OK, bye." "Love you, too." "Bye." "[footsteps]" "[thumping]" "[Ali] Oh, my God." "OK, so, just found this on the basement door." "Um..." "I don't really know where it came from." "I think that that's blood, but I can't really tell." "This comes up pretty high." "I don't think she could get up there." "It kind of looks like letters, but I don't really know what it means." "[Ali] What the fuck is that?" " [loud thudding] - [Ali gasps] [panting]" "[Ali] Kristi?" "[whispering] Kristi?" "Hey, sweetpea." "What's going on?" "Come here, sweetie." "[grunting] Oh, yeah." "[crying] Dad?" "You have to come home right now." "Dad, you have to come home." "Something is really wrong with Kristi." "Please!" "Please, come home, please." "Please, just, please, come home." "Please." "Please." "[sobbing]" "[Ali] Kristi?" "[Hunter wailing]" "[Ali] Kristi?" "Hunter's crying." "Don't touch him!" "[whispers] What the fuck?" "What the fuck?" " Are you OK?" " [sobbing] No!" " Oh, my." "Where is she?" " [sobbing] She's upstairs." "She's in Hunter's room." "You can't go up there!" " I have to see if she's OK." " You can't go up there!" "You have to look at the tape!" " I have to check on Hunter." " She got attacked!" "You have to watch the tape!" "Please!" "Please, please, just listen to me!" "[Ali] Dad, we have to go right now." "Fuck." "Dad?" "Dad, look at me." "Do you believe me now?" "Come on!" "We can't stay here!" "Please!" " [sighs]" " Dad!" "[Ali] What are you doing?" "She tried to warn me, and I wouldn't listen." "[Ali sobs] Wait, who are you talking about?" " [sighs]" " Dad, who are you talking about?" " [Martine speaks Spanish]" " What?" "Olive oil?" "[speaking Spanish]" " What?" " [Martine continues in Spanish]" " What am I gonna do with this?" " [speaking Spanish]" " This is gonna knock her out?" "S?" "." "I told you to stay here." "OK, you're kind of freaking me out right now, OK?" "Can you please talk to me?" "[Ali sobs] Dad, look at her leg." "Look at the bite." "[whispering] What the fuck?" "!" "[Daniel] No, no." "No way, no way." "We can't do this to her." "It's her family." " Please, please..." " What am I supposed to do?" "!" "It's Kristi's fucking sister!" "We can't do that to her!" "We can't do this." "We cannot do this to her." "Look, there is no other way." "Yes, there is." "We can transfer it to somebody else." " No, we can't." "No, we can't." " That's what we have to do." "OK?" "Martine said it had to be a blood relative." "OK?" "That's my wife and my son!" " That is your little baby brother!" " Do we tell her?" " Do we tell her what happened?" " No, we never tell anyone." "She's not even gonna remember, OK?" "Martine said she's not gonna remember, OK?" "And we're not gonna talk about it, ever!" "And I don't care if you agree with me or not, OK?" "It's my decision!" "I'm doing it!" "[Ali whispering] What...?" "[Ali] Let's go, please." "[weeping] Please, Dad." "Dad?" "Dad, please, please, be careful." "Please." "[Daniel whispering] Kristi?" "[Ali panting] [whispering] Kristi?" " [roars] - [Ali] Dad!" "[Daniel grunting]" "[Ali] Dad!" "I can't see anything!" "[sobbing] Dad?" "!" " [Daniel] Ali, where are you?" " [Ali] I'm right here!" " [Daniel] Where are you?" "!" " [Ali] I'm right here!" "I'm right here!" " Here, here, take it." " Fuck." " [Ali sobs] - [thudding]" "[Daniel shouts] Fuck!" "Where's the..." " [Martine in Spanish] - [Daniel] Where's the baby?" "!" " [Ali shouting] - [Martine shouting in Spanish]" " I don't know!" " [Daniel grunts]" "[Ali] Dad, let's get out of here!" "Come on!" "[Daniel] OK, OK." " [panting] - [rumbling]" " [screams] - [clattering]" "[Ali and Martine shouting, crying]" "[Daniel] Stay right there, OK?" "Just stay there." " [sobbing] No!" "No, no!" " [Daniel] Stay there!" "Just stay behind me, OK?" "Just stay right there!" "[sobbing] OK." "OK." "[Ali] What's happening?" "!" "[Ali] Oh, my God." "[Daniel panting]" " [rumbling] - [pots clattering]" " [Daniel] Ali!" " [Ali sobbing]" " [Daniel grunts] - [Ali] Oh, my God!" " [Ali] They're in the basement." " [Daniel panting] Are you OK?" " [sobbing] Dad?" " Just, just stay there!" "OK." "[Ali] Dad." "Dad." " [Daniel] Just stay here." "OK?" " OK." "[Daniel panting]" "[Hunter babbles]" " [Daniel] Hunter!" " [thudding]" "[Daniel] Oh, Jesus." "I can't see anything." "What the fuck?" "[Hunter crying]" "[screeching]" " [thudding]" " Jesus!" "Fuck!" "[grunting in pain]" " Oh!" "Fuck!" " [glass shatters]" "Hunter!" "Damn it. [panting]" "[crashing]" "[babbles]" "I almost gotcha." "Almost gotcha." "OK, I got you." "Oh, God." "I got you, little buddy." "Are you OK?" "[startled cry]" "OK, you stay there." "[screeches]" "[Daniel grunting]" "[Kristi screams] [rumbling]" "[Daniel and Kristi shouting] [loud groaning]" "[animal-like howls]" "[Daniel panting]" "All right." "Are you ready?" "You're gonna like this." "[Kristi] I am ready, I'm thrilled." "I'm excited." "Is it a tie?" "Is it...?" "Oh!" "Shocking!" "So how are things, uh... here?" "Is there any more weird stuff" " going on or, you know?" " [Kristi] No." " No?" " [Kristi] Everything's great." "Good." "I must be losing my mind." "I just... [chuckles]" "I feel like there's stuff going on at our house, to the point where I actually told Micah about it, and I'm sure he thinks I'm crazy." "[Kristi] You should take your own advice." "We shouldn't talk about this stuff." "It just drives us nuts." " You're right." " [Kristi] Sis?" "Goodbye, Hunter!" " I love you, little fella!" " [Kristi] Bye, Auntie!" " Bye, sis." "See you soon." " All right." "[Katie] What is that?" "[Micah] Hello, baby." "[Katie] Hi." "Is that what I think it is?" "[Micah] Yeah, it's..." "I don't know what you think it is, but whatever it is, it's pretty sweet." "I think it's a giant-ass camera." "What happened to, like, the little handheld?" "Easy to move around, versatile." "Are you gonna park the car or are you gonna stand there, looking at me?" "This is, uh..." "big and impressive, and it has a really bright light on it." " [Micah] Kiss the camera, will you?" " I'm not kissing the camera." " [Micah] Come on." " How much did this cost you?" " [Micah] What?" " How much did..." "I'll kiss you, but I'm not gonna kiss the camera." "[crickets chirring]" "[man on TV] You want to get your coffee at the place that knows coffee better than anyone else." "At Dunkin' Donuts, you can do it." "For over 50 years, we've kept America running, with our dedication to serving the freshest cup of coffee." "America runs on Dunkin'." "[man 2] Are you looking for a great deal on real wood kitchen cabinets..." "[Hunter crying]" "Shh." "Hey." "[crickets chirring]" "[man on TV] ...long delivery time?" "Cabinets To Go is the place to go for incredible prices on the best quality all-wood kitchen cabinets." "[man 2] ...for particle board and no long delivery time." "Cabinets To Go is the place to go for incredible prices on the best quality all-wood kitchen cabinets in honey oak," " ...hickory, solid red oak..." "[rumbling] ...and sumptuous dark chocolate, all in stock now at our warehouse stores." "[woman] Cabinets To Go doesn't have fancy showrooms, but they do have superb quality real-wood Shaker style..." "[TV cuts in and out]" "[TV continues, indistinct]" "?" "..." "little star" "?" "How I wonder what you... ?" "[crickets chirring] [man on TV] ...house is full of mill overstocks, bankruptcies..." "[neck snaps] - ...six-millimeter laminate flooring only 59 cents a square foot." "Vella wood, three quarter by three and a quarter inch, natural..." "[Kristi] Daniel?" " [rumbling footsteps] - [Kristi] Is that you?" "[floor creaks]" "[Kristi] Katie?" "[Hunter cries]" "[crying continues]" "[rumbling footsteps]" "[Hunter laughing]" "[Hunter giggling]" "[rumbling continues]" "[rumbling fades]" "[rumbling resumes]" "[toy whirring] [ringing] [tooting]" "[rumbling]" "[thudding] [low growl]" "[thudding] [growling] [creaking]" "[rumbling]" "[thudding] [rumbling continues]" "[footsteps]" "[buzzing] [baby giggling]" " [zapping] - [baby giggling] [static crackling]" "[zapping]" "[thudding]" "[groaning]" "[clanking] [distorted voices]" "[static crackles]" "[static ringing] [zapping]" "[crackling]" "[heavy breathing]" "[low growl]" "[loud zapping] [rumbling continues]" "[low growling]" "[rumbling continues]" "[creaking]" "[zapping] [static whines]" "[baby laughs]" "[baby giggling]" "[rumbling fades]" "the end"