"We're not open yet." "I said we're not open." "Please!" "I need your help." "Detective Jay Geils?" "Depends who's asking." "Me." "Come on in." "Have a seat." "So, what can I do for you, Miss...?" "Ashley." "Mrs. Laura Ashley." "Well, you see, the thing is, um, my husband's cheating on me." "I think you want the other kind of detective, the one with the drinking problem and the colorful inner monologue." "No, please." "I'm begging you." "I don't know what else to do!" "Please, please." "I'm sure things are just as bad as they seem." "So, what do you need me to do?" "Thank you." "Thank you." "You have no idea how humiliating this is for me." "Allow me." "So, what's your husband's name?" "Steven Ashley." "But be careful because he's a very powerful man." "He singlehandedly prevented soccer from becoming popular in the United States." "And you want me to talk to him, or..." "Well, I'm planning on filing for divorce, but with his influential connections, he'll be able to leave me with nothing." "If I can prove he's having an affair," "I can at least avoid a prolonged custody battle." "How many children do you have?" "I'm barren." "Okay, Mrs. Ashley, this is not something I really should be doing, but since you seem so upset and attractive," "I'm willing to make an exception." "Thank you." "Here's a picture of my husband and his address." "And how will I get in touch with you?" "I'll reappear when you least expect it." "Geils, what's the good word?" ""Tremulous."" "Some lady asked me to take pictures of her cheating husband." "You mean this lady?" "Isn't she looking for the other kind of detective?" "She just seems so desperate, and since I don't know anything about her," "I don't see how anything bad could come of it." "You're probably right." "Any word on your dad being alive?" "Did you track down your stepmom?" "Turns out she lives in the area." "I'm gonna look her up." "My gun is missing." "Do you want an extra?" "I just picked some up at Costco." "Here." "What are you bringing me in for?" "I didn't do anything." "I brought you in." "Hello, Carnie." "Well, well, well." "If it isn't the stepdaughter I never wanted." "Thanks for dragging me in here on my smoke break." "Now when am I gonna smoke?" "I know my dad's still alive, Carnie." "It was the Christmas cards, wasn't it?" "Why would you lie to me and tell me he was dead?" "I was only 12 years old." "10." "We figured it wouldn't bother you as much if you thought you were older." "Don't you get it?" "He didn't want to be around you." "Why would I believe anything you say?" "You treated me like garbage." "Well, don't rewrite history." "You loved riding around in that trash can." "Besides, how do you think I felt?" "I lost my husband because my stepdaughter was so rotten he couldn't stand her." "You're lying." "I know you're lying." "Tell me where to find him." "You think if I knew where he was" "I'd be working as a waitress in that ratinfested diner?" "Nobody made you get your master's in waitressing." "I don't know where he is." "So you gonna order something or what?" "I lost my appetite." "Hey, mister, you want some lemonade?" "Sure, kid." "I'll take a cup." "It's five bucks." "Yeah, baby." "Yeah." "Smile, you're... dead?" "You're listening to KMON, The Moan." "Playing lovemaking sounds all day and all night." "Up next, an old classic." "Hey, this is my gun." "Freeze!" "Don't you..." "Geils?" "What the hell are you doing here?" "II was supposed to take pictures of this guy cheating on his wife, but then I found him dead next to my gun." "We just got a call about a shooting at this address." "Well, that's hilarious, 'cause now it looks like I killed him." "I know!" "This one's for the books." "I can see us laughing about this a long time." "Like at my retirement party." ""Remember the time when it looked like Geils killed that guy and there was evidence to back it up?"" "You're never gonna live this one down, buddy." "Anyway, you got the right to remain silent." "What am I talking about?" "You know this stuff already, right?" "What the hell's going on?" "I try acupuncture once, and one of my cops kills someone?" "Councilman Steven Ashley was found dead from a gunshot wound." "And we found Geils standing over him with a gunshot dispenser." "Great, now Internal Affairs is gonna get involved, which means Abigail Liukin." "Looks like another one of your flock's gone astray, Atkins." "I thought Tribeca was the dirty cop." "Turns out it's her boyfriend." "We're seeing other people." "Drove him away with your bad haircut and your masculine manner." "Yeah, what's it to you?" "What the hell was Geils doing over there anyway?" "Geils hates murder." "Some lady wanted him to take pictures of her cheating husband." "That's his story?" "That he was trying to catch the councilman cheating on his wife?" "Well, news flash." "Councilman Ashley was a bachelor." "So who the hell was this woman?" "Somebody who had it out for Ashley and used Geils to cover her tracks." "You can bat around all the theories you want, but we've got opportunity, a murder weapon, and a kid selling lemonade who heard gunshots coming from that house." "It's over for Geils." "So, Nathan, you saw Detective Geils go into the house and then you heard three loud bangs?" "Yes, sir." "It was really scary." "Was it?" "So why do I have affidavits from three of your friends saying you were doing cartwheels in a culdesac" "30 minutes later?" "You didn't hear any gunshots, did you?" "You're a liar." "Liar, liar, pants on fire." "Hey, hey, hey." "Relax." "Times infinity!" "Hey, hey, hey, cool out!" "He started it." "Chill." "Let me talk to him." "I used to be a kid." "Hey, buddy." "Everything's gonna be all right." "Uncle Detective Tanner's here." "We just need your help to try to figure out which bad guy made the bangbang." "Are you sure it was this guy?" "Yeah, that was him." "He bought some lemonade and then he went in and killed the councilman." "Isn't he smart?" "How did you know he was a councilman?" "Because I follow local politics." "Really?" "How do you feel about Prop 31?" "Um, for it?" "So you want to permanently close El Monte Reservoir, even though it provides clean water for the whole San Gabriel Valley?" "Nathan, dinner!" "My mom's calling me." "I got to go." "The El Monte Reservoir proposition was on last year's ballot, but you already knew that." "Nathan's lying." "Tanner, Tribeca, get the hell in here!" "Say hello to Mr. X, another member of L.A. City Council." "Nice to meet you, detectives." "I believe I know why Councilman Ashley was murdered." "He was about to be the deciding vote on a ban against oil drilling within city limits." "They're drilling for oil inside the city?" "And there are many dark forces that would do anything to prevent that ban from passing, including murder." "Let me show you what I mean." "By the way, I'm Gary." "Gary Ecks." "Millions of gallons of crude oil right in our backyards." "Can't get more convenient than that." "I'm telling you guys, this is really bad." "Councilman Ashley tried to stop it and it got him killed." "Would you detectives like a Popsicle on a nice hot day?" "Don't mind if I do." "The fossil fuel industry, as you can imagine, was totally against the ban." "But no one spoke out against it louder than the CEO of Westernish Energy," "Mortimer Begoyle." "You got a lot of nerve showing up here." "Crude oil built this country, and I know it's fashionable to hate it now, but there was a time when the men who sucked that black gold out of the earth were treated like gods." "It was a better time." "Now, look, I run a legitimate business." "Sure, I've done things that I'm not proud of, like warming the earth, but you can't make an omelette without breaking eggs." "And none of it, okay... none of it... makes me a murderer." "Okay, yes, yes." "We put up some resistance to the ban." "A couple of attack ads, story line on "Empire,"" "but I swear to God I had nothing to do with killing Steven Ashley." "You think I don't know what I have?" "!" "I cry myself to sleep every night thinking about what I do to this planet!" "I'm..." "I'm feeling like a monster!" "And I want out." "Please, God, put me out of my misery!" "Please tell me you found something that exonerates Geils." "The bullet was definitely from his gun." "His fingerprints are on the gun, his hair, fibers from his clothes, his footprints, his saliva, two eyelashes, and a drop of semen were all found at the scene." "Okay, look, I know you have a grudge against me, but Geils has been nothing but honest and loving with you, and for you to take some perverse pleasure in seeing him in trouble makes you a truly horrible, rotten person." "But there were other fingerprints on the gun, as well as other footprints at the scene." "Geils!" "We only have a few minutes." "We were picking up trash on the 101 and the guard took a phone call." "This is Tony, Jorge, and Wade McDink." "The guy who barbecued his whole family?" "No." "I boiled them." "I am never gonna live that movie down." "I wanted to tell you guys I remember something about the woman who set me up." "She had a tattoo of one of those dipping bird toys on her left breast." "I know it's not much, but if we can figure out what artist made that tattoo, we can figure out who the hell she is and why she wants me to fry for the councilman's death." "What?" "Yeah, I forgot to tell you guys," "I got the death penalty." " What?" "!" "No!" " Yeah." "I love you." "I, also got the death penalty." "No." "I don't know how much news you were getting in prison, but apparently the councilman was..." "Yeah, he was trying to pass a ban on backyard drilling." "I got a job at the prison newspaper and I'm trying to make facts matter again." "Also, Scholls was just telling me that there was another set of footprints at the scene." "I'm assuming you had a monkey walk in various shoes across a sample floor?" "We're doing tests right now." "We believe our suspect was wearing Christian Louboutin heels." "She was a size 9, about 120 pounds, ate bananas, and wore a diaper." "I'm gonna find that woman, Geils, so help me God." "You're not gonna fry, not on my watch." "I really appreciate that." "Wade, we better get back to the..." "Wade!" "Such a good boy." "The other horses told me you'd be here." "You know why I like horses, Tribeca?" "They're silent and they can see through walls." "Geils is a good cop and he needs your help." "He should've thought about that before he shot Steven Ashley." "He didn't do it." "And I think, on some level, you know that, so don't push this thing just because you know it's hurting me." "That is a big part of it." "Help me clear his name." "All right, Tribeca." "I'll do some digging." "But if Geils' number comes up, there's nothing I can do." "Hello, Nathan." "HHey, come on." "They..." "They can't do that." "Yep." "Selling lemonade without a license?" "You're going away for a long time." "II know my rights!" "I know my rights!" "Let's have a look at your finances, shall we?" "Whoa. $11 million?" "Sure sold a lot of lemonade that day." "It was hot!" "And it's about to get hotter." "What?" "Oof!" "We looked at the footage on Kyle's phone and it clearly shows Geils buys the lemonade, goes into the house, then... nothing." "Silence." "The exact time that kid claims to hear the gunshots." "We're thinking somebody paid him to say he heard the gunshots." "Who?" "The woman with the tattoo?" "I called every place in town." "Found three bird dipper tattoos, all of them middle school teachers, all had alibis." "It's not a bird dipper." "It's an oil derrick." "Atkins." "You're kidding me." "All right, thanks." "They moved up Geils' execution to today." "If you're not gonna touch that steak, can I at least have a bite of your hair?" "I'm not gonna eat my last meal 'cause I'm not gonna die." "Tribeca's gonna figure out who that woman is and she's gonna match the prints on the gun, and this whole thing's gonna go away." "Well, I admire your spirit, Geils, but the system is broken." "My last roommate got executed for unpaid parking tickets and killing a guy." "Sorry, Wade, but I believe in the system and I believe the system's gonna get me out of here way before they shoot 50,000 volts of electricity into my brain." "That one." "Okay, cool." "Got it." "Thanks." "Peace." "Guess who got an oil derrick tattoo six months ago?" "Cher." "Yeah." "And Stephanie Begoyle." "Mortimer Begoyle's only daughter." "And the heiress to the Westernish Energy fortune." "Take her down, and for God's sake, don't hurt her money!" "Where's your daughter, Stephanie?" "Drop your weapons." "You don't have to do this, Stephanie." "You could still live a good life." "I've committed double murder." "I didn't say a great life, just..." "You just don't get it, do you?" "Oil is special." "It's nature's candy, and the only way to get it is to drill into the ground." "If that causes headaches and nausea and asthma, that's a small price to pay." "And killing your father?" "Is that a small price?" "Now you're getting it." "He was gonna walk away from billions to pursue his dream of handing out pretzel samples at the mall." "My father faked his own death when I was 12, and I would give up everything to hear his voice again." "Why are you telling me that?" "I don't even know who you are." "Well, well." "Doesn't matter." "Don't." "She's not downstairs." "You guys having any luck up here?" "Why'd y'all drop y'all guns?" "Why is that guy dead?" "What's up with her?" "Geils." "All right." "Good practice." "It's gonna go just like that, but for real this time, okay?" "Here we go." " Stop the execution!" " Okay, sorry." "Let's go, partner." "We've cleared your name." "I never doubted you for a minute." "Get a room, you two." "Tribeca cleared my name." "Isn't that nice!" "Angie, you remember Wade." "Yeah." "Yeah, we met before." "Of course." "Good to see you again!" " Good to see you, too." " Always..." "I'm so sorry." "We need to kill him now." " Okay." " Great to see you." " Thanks." "Take care." " Bye now." " Later, buddy." " Bye." "Order!" "Order." "With Councilman The Mom from the Oil Drilling Scene's vote, the ban on drilling for oil within city limits is hereby passed." "Council is adjourned." "Liukin." "Thank you." "I owe you one." "You owe me two." "That's everything I could dig up on your father." "How'd you know about this?" "We've been tailing you since you were arrested last year." "Bugged your house, tapped your phones, spied on you with your webcam." "You have a really great body." "Thank you."