"Monkey Love" " How ya doin'?" "I got a big box from the hoboken zoo there." " Live cargo?" " Hey I just drive the truck, lady." " Dump it round back." "I'll get to it when I get to it." " Kowalski, tell me this is our shipment of sweet alaskan salmon." " Negative, Skipper." "Some sort of containment unit." "I'd say simian." " Fish and chips, man." "Rico, chimp habitat, stat." " What the dickens?" " You didn't see anything." " Oh, fresh air!" " I say, who the dickens are you?" " Lulu." "What?" "Didn't they tell you I was coming?" " No, actually." " I'm sorry to put you out, boys." "But I'll only be here for a few days, just until they fix up my habitat back at the Hoboken zoo." "Is your friend all right?" " Uh, he's a chimp of few words." "Phil, don't be rude." "Phil?" "Oh, dear." "Pardon us." " Gorgeous?" "Why, Phil." "You dog." "Help you win her heart?" "Well, I haven't the foggiest, but, perhaps..." " Wait, you came to me for advice?" "No one ever comes to me for advice." "This is, like, so unexpect" " Like, I don't even..." "All right, okay, okay, so, so anyway, um..." "A girl chimp, huh?" " Yes." "Phil is positively head over tail for her." " Okay." "Top of my head here." "Candles, moonlight, acoustic guitar." "No, no." "Spanish guitar." "Muy romantico." "Then, after your touching, tender serenade, you present her with a bouquet of oysters on half shells arranged to spell out her name..." ""Marlene."" " Yes, but her name is Lulu." " Yeah, I know." "Whatever." "Anyway, do that, and you can't miss." " No offense, but I'm not sure this is the way to capture a chimp's heart." " You heard the mission:" "help the silent simian capture the lady chimp's heart." "Kowalski, I want an action plan on my desk by..." " Hey, hey hey!" "They came here for my advice, okay?" "Therefore,my mission." " Ah, but use of the word "capture"" "automatically makes this a penguin operation." " Sorry, Marlene." "Those are the rules." " Men, I need love options." " Skipper, our intel shows there is one sure way to a female's heart:" "you start with a 4-inch incision..." " I hear that the way to win over a girl's heart is to sit on her egg through the long cold winter." " All right, Private, you and bravo team will secure Lulu's egg..." " I'm afraid Lulu is not a penguin." " Exactly!" "Okay, like I was saying:" "candles, moonlight..." " Marlene, please." "Don't bring all your sappy emotion into this." "This is love!" "What we need is an operative on the inside, someone who can tell us what makes that chimp tick." " No." "No, no, no." " I'm really not comfortable..." "Oh, fine." "Right." "Fine." "Excuse me, Lulu." "I have..." "Well, I have this friend who is interested in courting you." " Oh, really?" "And just what does thisfriendlook like?" " Decent enough, I suppose." "Actually, a bit like me." " Oh, you're a shy one." "The answer is yes." "Of course I'll go out with you." " Oh, that's fantastic." "Hey, wait." "What?" "Sorry, old bean." "I'm afraid I've made a right mess of it." " Not to worry, chimp." "We've got you covered." "Private, options." " Hello?" "I'm the options guy." " Well, not when it comes to affairs of the heart." "That's where young Private here shines." " True." "I do struggle to comprehend emotions and feelings and..." "W-women." " Yeah, duh." "You're on, Private." " Uh, uh, let's see, um..." " Come on, Private; you know what to do." "Moonlight, guitar, oysters." " Hmm, sorry, Marlene." "But maybe if Phil could somehow show off hismachismo." " Machismo!" "Espanol." "I like it!" " Well, yes, I do rather enjoy poetry, fine cuisine, and, well, the ballet, of course." " Oh, Mason, what a sensitive soul you are." " Reach for the skies, chimps!" " Wh-what?" " Egad!" "Penguin desperados, and they've got sticks." "That's right, mateys!" "And, oh, arggh, and shiver me timbers." " Kowalski, we're supposed to be desperados, not pirates." " Really?" " Well, um, the point is, we want all your bananas!" "And there's no one tough enough here to stop us!" " Certainly not this milksop." " Hold on now." "Mason may not be tough." "But me, i'm from Hoboken!" "There there, love." "Those nasty penguins won't bother you again, you sweet, sensitive soul, you." " No, I imagine not." " I've got other options, Skipper." " Private, I've heard enough of your options, thank you." "I'm going with your plan." " Me?" " No, I was pointing at Kowalski." "Operation "Love from above"." "Mason will lead our target to a designated location where a heavy crate..." " E-excuse." "How many times do I have to say it?" "Moonlight, candles..." " Where a heavy crate of bananas will fall." " I thought I'd be homesick, but I've barely thought about home since I met you." " Lovely." "Now excuse me one moment." "Don't move an inch." "Actually, move an inch to your right." "No, no, your other right." "Perfect!" " That's the signal." " Go!" " Aagh." "It won't cut." "Oh, what are you doing?" "Get off me!" " Blast it all." "What the devil is the problem?" " The problem was, I based my calculations on cotton rope but we used nylon." "I've made the adjustments, so we're ready to go again." " Or not." " Gentlemen, it's time to break out the big guns." "Yes, I'm talking about love potion number... - 37?" " 37?" " I know it's risky." "But so is love." "Look what happened to Manfredi and Johnson when they fell hard for those chinstrap sisters." "They lost their hearts, a lung, and 15 feet of intestine." " 37?" " What's in there?" " Flamingo sweat and garlic." " Ooh, baby!" "Preen me." "Preen me, sweet stuff!" " Man, I hate to say it, lads, but perhaps Phil and Lulu just aren't meant to be..." " Wait, wait, wait." "You still haven't followed a certain someone's advice." " Egad, Marlene is right." " So you have come to me for the romantical advice." " Okay, this is not what I had in mind!" " To impress this girly monkey, you must knock her feet off." "That is how I have gotten my many girlfriends." " What girlfriends?" " You don't know them; they all live in Canada." "But trust me when I tell you they are made up..." "Eh, with lipsticks and powders and such, but, you know, tastefully." " Okay, my secret is two words" "I am now about to say to you." "Get ready." "Hey, wait, those weren't the two words." "And those weren't either." "Or those!" " Just tell us the two words!" " Okay." "Roller disco." "Ugh, not that guy again." "Still..." "He's a jolly good dancer." " Ah, the victim approaches." "What are you doing?" " I hate to say it, but ringtail may have actually pulled this off." " No one can resist the allure of the roller disco." " Oh, Phillip." "I had no idea you were such a romantic." " It may not be a total loss." "Admittedly, things are looking a bit iffy." " Now release the dogs." " Ow!" "Get them off me!" " Don't you mean doves?" " Eh, on second thought, doves would have been better." "Good to know, good to know." " Lulu, please." "Come out." " Absolutely not!" "You're all loonies." " Nail the crate shut." "We won't let her out until she falls in love with Phil." " No, no." "Listen, listen." "We put him in the crate with her, then nail it shut." "Then they will fall in love, or die trying." " Give me 15 minutes." "I can crack open more than enough oysters." " Phil, don't be rash, man!" " What?" "What's he doing?" " He's going to..." "Speak to her!" " Biscuits and gravy!" "We didn't run a scenario for that." " What now?" "Lulu, I'm sorry for all I've put you through, but I didn't know how to tell you that I think you are fantastic, beautiful, and amazing, and...and..." "Oh, I'm not getting that last part." "and I wish we could spend the waning hours we have left here together in each other's big hairy arms."" "His words, not mine." " Well, Phil." "Why didn't you just say all that in the first place?" " So just talking?" "That works?" " So the data would indicate." "Who knew."