"When we were kids, me and Rudy Liked to play cops and robbers," "Only trouble was neither of us ever wanted to be the cop," "Now we're grown up," "And the truth is we're on a bad streak." "A 1 5-year bad streak." "Until now," "Yeah." "Rudy knows this guy who knows a guy... whose brother works at the security firm... who's given us the tip-off for our one big job," "The one that'll set us up for life," "This time we even went out and bought a gun," " Everybody down!" "Now move!" " You heard him!" "Get yourself down!" "Open the door!" "Any bastards get fresh, you get hurt!" "Don't look up!" "Don't look at my face!" "Get down!" "Face down!" "Don't look up!" " Don't open the case!" " God!" "God, no!" "Jimmy, there's a dead lock on the door." "shoot the lock!" "What are you waiting for?" "." "shoot the bloody lock!" "Have you shot it yet?" "." "What's going on?" "." "Oh,Jimmy, you're not leaving me, are you?" "." "Jimmy Hands, if you leave me here" "Oh,Jim!" "Jim?" "." "Jimbo?" "." "Halt!" "Police!" "Don't move!" "Don't move!" "A-C-0027 Hands." "Transfer from Wormwood scrubs." "This is a respectable establishment, Hands." "As long as you respect us, we don't kick your bollocks in." "Lucky, That's me," "If you gotta be in Long Rudford, cell 1 5 is definitely the place to be." "It's quiet." "It's south facing." "You've got your view." "It's lovely." "Hold up." "There's a cow." "There's another one!" " And there are some sheep!" " What color are they?" "." "They're sort ofwhitish." "Do us a favor and count them." "All right, yeah, yeah." "Good one." "Yeah." "All right, come on." "My little boy, he loves the countryside." "Loves it!" "All the fresh air, animals and that." ""Aminals" he calls them." "Yeah, aminals." "Right." "Hands." " Gumbel." " Oh, thanks, sir." "That's nice." "It's from Julie." "All right." "There is nothing you can name that is anything Like a-  stop." " sorry." "A-C-0027 Hands, sir." " On your feet, Hands." " "stand up, Hands," works better." "This is Mr. Mortimer." "The governor." "You get into trouble very quickly, Hands." "You arrive from Wormwood scrubs 5:00 p.m." "At half-past you're in the block." "The film never did it justice." "South Pacific, The musical." "I heard you singing "Nothing like a Dame."" "You know" "Mitzi Gaynor." "Nowhere near as good as stella Budd." " stella Budd?" "." " In South Pacific," "My dad, he had the original soundtrack recording." "South Pacific," "Very impressive." "Thank you, sir." "I think you'll find this less than impressive, sir." "March 1982, on probation for car theft." "June '84, six months... attempted holdup of a hot dog stand." "July '88, betting shop." "March '91, jeweler." "Currently five years into a 1 2-year sentence for armed robbery of a bank." "This doesn't make happy reading, Hands." "Remember:" "one knife, one fork, one spoon." " That's it?" "." " That's it." "I like a challenge." "This bloke will show you what to do." "Hello, Rudy." "sorry." "sorry about this." "sorry." "I'm sorry." "stop apologizing, will you, you freak!" "sorry." "A-C-0027 Hands." "Detective Barratt." "Annabel sweep." "Welcome to the prisoner support unit." "You must be one of these do-gooders." " That's me." " Come to help unfortunates..." "like yours truly get back on the straight and narrow." "Nothing gets past you." "You must be one of those master criminal types." "Bank robber." "Bank robber." "Wait till I tell my friends." "They'll be impressed." "We're considered the elite of the criminal underworld." "Is that why you became a bank robber?" "." " To impress women?" "." " That was a by-product." "Okay then..." "I'm gonna explain something to you,Jimmy." "Nine out of the ten prisoners I meet in here... get out, screw up, and are back inside within six months." "It's my job to help you break that cycle." "Right." "Well, I suggest that you attend some of our... addressing offending behavior courses." "We need to define the problem, Lenny." "Tell me what you think the problem is, Darren." "You are watching Gardeners world, Lenny." "It's about tomatoes, Darren." "But I want to watch London's Burning," "It's about a fire in a school, Lenny." "Let's discuss our problem more, Darren." "I'm sure we can reach a compromise." " You'd really say that, Lenny?" "." " No!" "No, I'd say, "Let's maximize" "Let's generate alternatives."" "Good." "Do you have any particular alternative in mind?" "." "Oh, yes." "I have a question, Annabel." "Welcome to anger management,Jimmy." "If there's a certain someone... who's got all this anger that they can't get rid of... that's bad for that certain someone, right?" "." "Your point being?" "." "Wouldn't it be better for that person to forgive and forget?" "." " Well, if there is to be closure" " Closure?" "." "Closure." "You left me,Jimmy." "Turned around, walked away, didn't even look back." "You abandoned me, mate." "After all we'd been to each other, you abandoned me." "Point of information, we're talking money, bank robbery in progress." " Oh, I see!" " Wait!" "I got captured!" " Please sit down." " What's the big deal?" "." "We all got captured." "That's why we're in prison." " sit down, please." "Thankyou,Jimmy." " Twelve years." "I got 1 2 years,James!" "I lost my flat." "I lost my job." " I lost my woman." " What about the motor?" "." " Nah, a mate's looking after it." " Ah, good." "Yeah." "No!" "No,Jimmy, it's not good." "It's bad." "see, you never leave your mates behind on a job, right?" "." "That's like a rule." "That's in the Bible." "'Tis rather a breach of the old code." "Anyone run out on me, they'd never do it again." " They wouldn't." " You left me in the bank." "You blew the job, Rudy, not me." "How do you mean, I blew the job, you dickhead?" "." "Enough, enough, enough!" "Now sit down, all of you!" "I said, sit down, Hands!" "Thank you, gentlemen." "Right." "Now, what we all forgot to do then... was to "define the problem."" "The problem is Rudy can't face up to the fact" "Jimmy Hands only cares about Jimmy bloody Hands!" "Come on!" "Has anyone ever got out of here?" "." "It's just a question." "Who do you think you are,Jimmy?" "." "steve McQueen?" "." "No." "No one's gone over the wall in years." "I could, though, if I felt like it." "Yeah, of course you could." " How?" "." " How am I gonna tell you that,Jimmy... when I am not talking to you?" "." "Okay." "Okay." "But this is gonna take men with balls, Jimmy." "I mean, real balls." "There's no way to get out of any of the wings." "They're all double-locked." "The bars are all belled up." "Plus, there's at least two fences before you even get to the wall." " Promising so far." " Now... what you do is, you get into the old chapel." "What?" "." "Come here." "Look, that there." "That is the weak link." "They don't use it anymore on account of the riots." "Look at it." "It's all falling down so it's got like minimum security." "You break out of the old chapel, and there's one... just one fence between you and the wall." "Yeah, but you have to get into the old chapel first." "Jimmy,Jimmy,Jimmy." "You can get anywhere you want when you are carrying a shooter." " shooter?" "." " They get smuggled in." "You get out that gate, you get through the fence..." " you just blow the wall." " Blow the wall?" "." "With jelly." "Boom!" "Boom?" "." "Okay, just so as I'm clear." "A bomb's gone off." "We're standing in a pile of rubble in the middle of nowhere." "No, Rudy, it's a good plan." "It's good!" "It's good!" "There is nothing Like a dame" "Nothing in the world" "There is nothing you can name that is anything Like a dame" "Come in." "Excuse me, sir." "A-C-0027 Hands." "This is terrible, Hands." "You have been with us less than three weeks... and you've spent all but two days in solitary." "Tragic." "Tragic." "Wonderful actress, tragic life." " sir?" "." " stella Budd." " Ah." " Your love of musical theater... must've given you something to fall back on when you were in solitary." "Don't know where the time went, sir." "You're very fortunate." "Most of the men don't have that." "They can't imagine what it's like to be a shady New York gambler... a devious French count or a great English naval hero." "Amateur dramatics." "Joined a group three years ago." "Best thing I ever did, Hands." "Think it'll work here." "Lift morale, broaden horizons." "I don't know, sir." "When it comes to raising morale... cons like traditional things-- football, television, porn." "We used to do a show here, every Christmas." " Men did all the work." "Magnificent." " They also tend to think... that anyone who's into acting is probably" "One year the old chapel was packed to the rafters." "Of course, we haven't done anything like that since the riots." "They're always afraid of looking ridiculous in front of" " Where did you put on the show, sir?" "." " Chapel." "Good acoustics." "Vicar liked to be heard." "Are you saying the men wouldn't be interested, Hands?" "." "No, not at all, sir." "scratch any con... and underneath you'll find a cheery gambler or a devious count... or even a great English naval hero." "Excellent, good." "I have persuaded Miss sweep to bring in a new man to start the ball rolling." "Paul." "You'll like him, Hands." "Excellent motivator." "V inspirational." "And as Brecht said, "Nothing, nothing in this world... has the liberating power of drama."" "He said it in German, of course." "Okay, well, let's start with an exercise." " An exercise?" "." " Yeah." "I thought we were doing a show." "Well,Jimmy-- Is Jimmy all right?" "." " I prefer James." "James." "No,Jimmy." "Jimmy's friendlier." "Call him whatever you want, Paul." "Okay, well, what I'd like to try... is for you to think of an episode in your past... and now take that episode... and hold it like a ball." "Like a" "Now, what have you got there, Roger?" "." "Oh." "Oh, yes." "Oh, I say!" "Governor present, lads." "Hello, Paul, Miss sweep!" "How's it all going?" "." " It's been great." " splendid, splendid." "Not exactly a cast of thousands." "No, no, but there's tremendous energy here." "I'm glad you're here now." "I was thinking of moving on to improvisation." " Oh." "Oh, dear." " Yeah." "I realize you're the expert." "In my experience, amateurs generally prefer to work from a text." "something structured and concrete." "Yeah, right." "I see what you're saying." "But actually I was planning to do something a bit more real." "You know?" "." "A play based on the men's own lives, experiences..." " hopes, dreams, fears." " That's a thought." " It could be a touch depressing." " Exactly!" "What everyone really wants, sir... is a bit of escapism." "singing, dancing, good story, great songs..." " a hero" " A great hero!" " Oh, yes!" "Yes, sir, yes." " A love story maybe." "Yes, gentlemen, a passionate love story... between a beautiful, tragic woman... and a" " Well." "I wonder where we could find something like that." "Who'd have thought the governor had a secret dream?" "." " sweet, isn't it?" "." " Almost as sweet... as your secret passion for musicals." "Oh, everyone has a hidden side, to them, Annabel." " You probably look at me and think..." " No, I don't think anything." ""He wouldn't appreciate the finer things in life." "He's just a glamorous big-time bank robber."" " You couldn't be more wrong." " And I look at you and think..." ""Not stupid exactly." "Okay looking." "so, what's she doing in prison?" ". "" "Oh, I'm not in prison,Jimmy." "You are." "Jimmy, there is no way I am tap dancing out ofhere with you." "Rudy!" "Rudy, do you remember the first time we were caught?" "." " Ah, no." " What do you mean "no"?" "." " Everyone remembers their first time." " I'm really sorry,Jimmy, I don't." " It was like years ago." " I was 18, you were 17." "Oh, yeah!" "The bookies." "Yeah." "Nightmare." "Anyway." "Remember in the cells under the magistrate's court?" "." " They put us in with" " That bank robber." "That man was good stuff." "That man was a legend." "He was" "Billy Morris." "Out of Hawkston." "Billy Morris." "Wha" "Billy Morris, legend." "I always wondered why he was looking at me funny." "Look at him." "We need to get out, you know." "Ifwe've got a show on, we've got noise, distraction." "Perfect." "And, Rudy... it's in the old chapel." " They're doing it in the old chapel." " The weak link." "You said it." "While everyone's taking their bows, you and me exit stage left." "Forever." "Unless we get a cast of thousands, we're going nowhere." "Come on." " No." " Come on, Cliff, think about it." "All the families will come up." "The boy will be there." "I'm no actor,Jim, no." "Don't wanna show meself up in front of him, you know?" "." "Hold on a minute." "Music." " You play things, don't you?" "." " Oh, that's years ago." "I've seen the pictures on the cell wall." "You've played in bands, you've played in pubs." "There you go, Cliffy, you could do the music, mate." "Yeah!" "Think how proud your boy would be seeing his daddy on the big stage." " Yeah?" "." " Yeah." "Yeah, yeah." "Assume the position." "Face the wall." "You, too, Gumbel." "so, Gumbel, doing your smalls." "Yes, sir." "Gotta look smart." "Little boy's coming up for a visit." "Whoops." "Off you go." " You all right?" "." " Yeah, yeah." "Do it again tonight." " What is it with you and Perry?" "." " Oh, nothing." " Come on, Cliff, you can trust us." " It's nothing at all, no." " I'll just go ask him" " No, don't, no!" "Please." "A couple of months ago, right?" "." "I'm out on exercise." "I've got right, so I come back to the cell a bit early." "I walk through the door... and there's Perry there, standing there... and he's got hold of my old cell mate's porn." "What, he's stealing it?" "." "No, not exactly stealing it,Jim." "More like using it." "Oh, God!" "Oh, that's an image I really don't need in my head right now." "Yeah, well, ever since then, he's been on me back." " Oh, that's priceless." " You ain't gonna say nothing, are you?" "." "Wayne, have you ever thought about the liberating power of drama?" "." " Who the fuck is this, Rude?" "." " Jimmy Hands, Wayne." "Wayne,Jimmy Hands." "Hello, Wayne." "I'm catering the party." "Ten gallons for Friday night." "I don't have time for this shit break." "Right." "Oh, how much for a wee one?" "." " Forty." " Twenty." " No, 20." "Come on." "That's all I've got." " Twenty now." " Twenty later." " Absolutely, no problem with that." " Later, Rude." " Yeah." "Listen, Old Bill, do you wanna be in the show or not?" "." "show?" "." "Tempting, but if it's all the same to you..." "I think I'll stick to shoveling shit." "No." " Think about it." "With your voice" " And you've got the looks, anyway." " No way." "No!" " Come on!" "You're a man of talent!" "No!" "so another Jimmy Hands plan bites the dust." "Can I have my phone card?" "." "Jim, where you going?" "." "Jimmy?" "." "Everything about it is appealing" "Everything the traffic will allow" " Nowhere can you get that happy feeling" " Hands!" "How's casting going?" "." "When you are feeling that extra" "Oh, dear." "A shame about the turnout, isn't it?" "." "Isn't it?" "." "I mean, I do my best to spread the word... about the liberating power of drama, and then" " Boys, take a seat." " Ooh!" "One phone card each." "so, who would like to play Nelson?" "." "Nelson the brave, the intrepid." "The legendary Nelson." "Yes, well." "This is an opportunity to portray... one of the greatest English heroes of all time." "Horatio Lord Nelson... was admiral of King George III's navy." "He lost an eye at Calvi... an arm at Tenerife, and his heart... to the most beautiful woman of the age..." "Emma Hamilton." "He gave his life, finally... at the Battle ofTrafalgar against Napoleon." "His last words were..." ""Kiss me, Hardy."" "so... who would like to tackle this magnificent part?" "." "If no one had any objections..." "I'd love to play George III." "Excellent." "Well done, Chamberlain." "Now, what about Nelson?" "." "Come on, lads, eh?" "." "The brave... the intrepid, the legendary Nelson, eh?" "." "The greatest English hero of all time!" "Well, that's you, isn't it,Jimmy?" "." "Brave, intrepid hero?" "." "I'm Irish." "Couldn't do the accent." "No, put me down for Jolly Tar NumberThree." "That's me." "Oh, don't sell your self short." "Poke you in the eye, cut off your arm." "You'd be perfect." "There we go." "We have our Nelson." "No." "Now, the divine Emma ought to be a little more straightforward." "Um, no." "Well, I have to say, I think you'd be perfect." "Thank you, but no." "We need a leading lady." "We need a woman." "Very good." "That's settled then." "Right, press on." "Who's for Hardy?" "." "How the hell did I end up as Hardy?" "." "Who is this Hardy geezer, anyway?" "." "Nelson's sidekick." "sort of hero worships Nelson." "Oh, right." "And you're Nelson." " Rudy, it's acting." "Pretend." " Too right, pretend." "Kiss me, Hardy." "There's no way I'm actually doing that." "It's what men in 1 805 did." "Mate, I don't care when they did it." " I ain't kissing him." "No way." " What?" "." " I quit." " Rudy, wise up." "Come on." "It's acting." "It's pretend." "Yeah." "Yes." "Rudy, imagine" "You find the true register... if you embody the character." " What's he saying to me?" "." " What I'm saying is... you gotta embody the character... you gotta be the character." "Rudy, remember-- You don't mind, Paul?" "." "You know when we were up in court last time?" "." "When we were giving evidence, right?" "." "What were we doing?" "." " Getting 1 2 years." " No, apart from that." " I don't know." "Lying?" "." " Exactly!" "And when we were lying, we were acting." "Acting the part of innocent men." "We were embodying the role." "We were innocent men!" "Right, so what you're saying is..." " acting is about lying." " Yes!" "Ahh, actually it's about truth." " Make your bloody minds up, boys!" " No, when I was in the box..." "I used to think about me mum being run over... so I'd have these sort of sad eyes." "I'll show you." "Watch." " You got 18 years." " shut up, you toilet!" "Look, Rudy." "This isn't here, okay?" "." "There's no walls, there's no prison." "It's 1805." "You are Hardy." "Okay?" "." "Hardy is you." "Let's go with that now." "Come on." "Come on, let's do this." "Okay, okay." " Okay, okay." " Rudy, we haven't got all day." "Okay, I'm coming!" "Hold on." "I'm ready." " Action." " Kiss me, Hardy." "Okay." "shut up, shut up." "Do you see?" "." "Do you see?" "." "That's now all over the wing." "Bit of an unfortunate fixation with fire." "Burnt down schools... in the holidays." "That's some lifestyle." "That's Amy." "Great girl." " Great pilot." " she's got millions from his big scam." "Well, a spot of creative accountancy." "Earl Grey okay?" "." "Yeah." " so." " so." "Could we get a couple of minutes with your boy?" "." "In private, like?" "." "Actually we don't keep secrets in this cell." "Roger looks after me." "Fair enough, then." "We were wondering if Darren could help us with a little problem." "What sort of problem?" "." " A lock problem." " Ah." "I take this is indicating that you sort oflost interest..." " in long-term imprisonment." " We're thinking of leaving, yes." " Yeah." "Darren." " I'll do it." " There's a gate in the old chapel." " The one without the doubles lock." " I've noticed that." " And you reckon you can do it?" "." "schools are not that easy to get into... but you try burning down one of these high-tech office blocks." "It's a challenge." "I'll make you a key, long as I'm in." " You make a key that works, you're in." " I'm in!" "What?" "." "We can't take him with us." "He's a menace to society." "You hear that, Rog?" "." "I'm in!" "Which means I'm out." "I'm in!" "I'm out!" "I'm in!" "I'm out!" " Mate." "Mate!" " I'm in!" "I'm out!" " You'll come, won't you?" "." " No." "No, no, no." "Come on." "You'd have no problem on the run with your millions." "First, you'll get caught." "You'll get another five to ten years." "second, if you don't, life on the run is no life." "All you'll escape to is another prison." "Third, escapes are dangerous." "There are big walls to be considered." "Heights, falls!" "Bad falls." "Darren, don't do this." " What's that?" "." " Cuttlefish." "They've used it for millions ofyears." "It'll take a perfect mold." "I'll need an impression of the key." "And I'll need a piece of metal." "something with a low melting point." " Lead or tin, pewter." " Not much then." "I'll ask Perry." "Perhaps he'll throw in bolt cutters and a helicopter." "Oh, yeah, and matches." "Loads and loads of matches." "Do it." "But it's so risky." "seven more years." "That's seven Christmas trees... or two and a half thousand nights alone in a double bed." "Three hundred sixty-four lonely sundays." "1 2,770 cups of prison tea." "Do it, Rog." "It's so romantic." "You're not gonna spoil it, are you,Jim?" "." " spoil what?" "." " The show." "sorry, I can't help thinking that you're planning something." "Cliff, the first rule of sharing a cell is keep your self to your self." "Might I ask you what you're in for, then?" "." "second rule: never ask a man what he's in for." "What you in for?" "." " I jumped a yellow light." " Hmm?" "." "This bloke in the band says to me..." ""Drive the car across town."" "I thought it sounded a bit funny, but... he wasn't the sort of bloke you say no to." "You know what I mean?" "." "Anyway, so I jumped a yellow light." "Got pulled by the police." "Turns out the car was packed full ofweed and pills and stuff." "I got five years." "If only I hadn't jumped that bloody light." "Yeah, well, it's getting there." " No, it's not working." " Excuse me, sir." "Do you mind if I try something a bit different?" "." "Oh, very well." "I thought we'd just jazz it up a bit." " Yeah, go on, Cliff, go on." " I'll count you in, right?" "." "A-one, a-two." "A-one, two, three, four." "Good grief!" "Darren!" "I can't believe I'm letting this happen." "Get in there, you little bollock!" "Well, this had better work in the gate." "To build the set, they'll allow us tools, timber... everything the average escape artist could possibly desire." "Now, the shape of the top of the wall means we can't use a grappling hook... with the rope ladder, right?" "." "so we tie the end of the rope ladder... to a pole, and we lean the pole... up against the wall." "That's a 30-foot wall!" "Where are we gonna get a pole that size?" "." " Darren." " We can use one of the masts." "What about the rope ladder?" "." " Rigging." " Brilliant." "We can hide all the kit under the stage." "Our wooden horse, you could say." "Yeah, but there's still a problem with the fence." "Five minutes!" "Bolt cutters?" "." "That's a tricky one." " They're hard to hide." " Well, just a head." "We can make the handles here." "I know a bloke on the outside." "He used to smuggle diamonds by carrier pigeon all the way from spain." "Carrier pigeon?" "." "Wouldn't the bolt cutters be a bit heavy?" "." "One vital difference." "Dead pigeon." "How do you think all that ganja gets in here?" "." " All right, Lenny." " Hi." "That skinny screw is trying to get his hands on my prize tomatoes." "Lenny, I need a favor." "There's something I need to hide, and I was wondering if I could dig it in." " Is it organic?" "." " It's a pair of bolt cutters." "Okay, they could do with a bit of iron." " Greedy bastard!" " Hi, Lenny." "Enhanced thinking skills, 1 0:00 a.m. Where were you?" "." " Relaxing." " We might be acting together... but if you don't show me the proper respect at all times... you're off the courses, do you understand?" "." "Come on, Lady Hamilton, the role was made for you." " It'll be fun." " I don't have time for fun." "What happened, Annabel?" "." "Did you wake up one morning and go, "What'll I do with my life?" "." "I know, I'll work in a prison." How sad is that?" "." "It's less sad than being one of the world's..." " more amateurish bank robbers." " Amateurish?" "." "You don't get 12 years for being an amateur." "That's exactly why you get 12 years." "Lenny?" "." "Lenny, I want you to stop and think about" "I've lost it!" "You come in here with a bloody" "Listen, Lenny, let Annabel go, or this tomato is ketchup." "I'm telling you, it's ketchup!" "Let go of my pomodoros!" "Bastard!" "Uh-uh-uh, calm, Lenny, No, no!" "Good God!" "You bastard, don't come in here!" "Bastard!" "Lenny?" "." "Jimmy and I, we can't help noticing that you're really outnumbered." " What am I gonna do now?" "." " You might have to start" "Generating alternatives." "sorry." "I'm not going down to chokey." "I can't." "If you give your self up now, then there's a chance that" "Let go of me!" "Let go!" "You too, Hands." "You okay?" "." "Yeah." "Thank you." "Move, Hands!" "And this achieves what exactly?" "." "What it achieves is a very pleasant glow right here." "I'm sure you get the same feeling with your courses." "What I do is intended for the men's benefit, not mine." "Grown men." "Grown criminal men... dressing up, singing and dancing." "Where's the benefit in that?" "." "Don't you believe in rehabilitation, Mr. Perry?" "." "No, I don't." "And doing this job for 20 years has proved it." "Excuse me." "Stay with me Be with me" "Say you'll always sail the world with me" "Till the end of" "Can't you see we're rehearsing?" "." "It's Hands, sir." "Ah, good to have you on board again, Hands." "Or should I say Horatio?" "." "I was just reading in for you." "Hope you don't mind." "No, no, it's good to be on board again, sir." "Especially as it's a bit sooner than I expected." "Yes, you have Miss sweep to thank for that." "Or should I say, Lady Hamilton?" "." "If I didn't know better, I'd think you might have ulterior motives." "Okay!" "Let's take it from the top, yeah." "From the beginning." "I used to think that men were fools" "I thought that women were a snare" "That I would always Live alone" "I never thought that anywhere" "I'd find a Love to call my own" "suddenly here you are" " suddenly my heart's aflame" " Here you are" "Here we are and Life will never be the same" " What are you doing?" "." " Well, it's in the script." " That was brilliant." " It was awful." "Well, maybe not brilliant, but good, definitely." "Yeah, good, good." "Annabel... when you come in with "suddenly here you are,"" "you come in much stronger, yeah?" "." "Suddenly here you are" "And on the harmony, you got to listen to each other much more carefully." "'Cause you were out that time, Jimmy." "It's ridiculous." "I should never have gotten involved,Jimmy." "I'm glad you did." "I'm glad I did." " Have you seen these lyrics?" "." " I'm not talking about this." "I've been thinking" "Well, let's go again from "suddenly."" "And,Jimmy, arm." "Yes." "suddenly here you are" "suddenly my heart's aflame" "Here we are" "Here we are and Life will never be the same" "Go, Jimmy!" "What are you doing tonight?" "." "I'm planning a quiet night in." " TV dinner for one." " Oh, yeah?" "." "so I take that to mean there's no Mr. sweep." "There's an ex." "Now he's an ex-ex." "Annabel, there's something I've got to say." "Before you say anything inappropriate, I should remind you... that I am an employee of Her Majesty's prison service... and you are an inmate serving time." "so, what do you want to say?" "." "I think about you all the time, and I don't know what to do about it." "It's not like I can offer you a lift home or ask you out for dinner." "You can ask." "Would you like to go out to dinner?" "." "I'm free in about five years." "All right, mates, come on." "Let's finish the number." " Are you having trouble?" "." " Yeah, it's a letter to Julie." "Things have been a bit rocky, you know?" "." "I'm thinking if I could write something from the heart, it might" " Couldn't give me a hand, could you?" "." " Me?" "." "No, man." "I know what I want to say." "I just don't know the words, you know." " sure you can't help?" "." " Not me." "But I know a man who can." "Wait there." "Look, chaps, this is not really my forte." "Get on with it, Rog." "What about all that poetry, eh?" "." "Dear Julie?" "." "Darling Julie." " Darling." "That's good." " Oh, yeah." "Okay." "Darling Julie" " Oh." "You love her, right?" "." "Why don't you just say it?" "." "That's the problem." "I don't know how to." "say-- say I think about you all the time and I don't know what to do about it." "Yeah, possibly." "I know, what about, I miss you." "Yeah?" "." "I want to lick you all over." "I wanna make you... shine with my love." "I wanna fill you full of my seed and watch you swell with images of me." "I wanna give you some "baca" yard." "Ooh-la-la." " Well" " I don't think that really is..." " my Julie's cup of tea." " No?" "." "Thanks, Rudy." "What would I say to Amy?" "." "I'd say..." "I'm not a kid." "I don't believe in..." "Iove at first sight or that love conquers all." " Oh, this is good." "Get this down." " I don't believe in fairy tales." "And I don't believe in happy endings." "But I do believe that a man and woman can make each other happy." "That's really good, Roger." "Did you hear that?" "." "I knew he'd come up with something." "Thanks, mate." "How'd it go again?" "." "I'm not" " I'm not" " Dear Julie." "Darling Julie." " Darling Julie." "I've arranged for a car to be waiting." "It's gotta be a proper motor, Rog." "Can't be some pissy tin can, yeah?" "." "Any particular make in mind?" "." " Yeah, black man's Rolls." " What?" "." " BMW." " seven series, though." " Green?" "." "Blue?" "." " Blue would be nice, Roger." " Yes." " No, I'll tell you what. silver." "A silver Beemer, seven series." " Look nice outside the house." " Okay." "Amy won't let me down." "John Toombes." "He's an evil bastard." " Four months at" " No." " Now." " Four months at sea" "Is more than a man can stand" "Four months at sea and not a sign ofLand" "Hard tack, dried beef a Life ofpain and dirt" "salt rolls, fried bread and not a sign ofskirt" "Land ahoy!" "Oy, oy." "What a 'orrible noise." "Old Bill, you still here?" "." "Hello, Kenny." "There are some familiar faces." "Hi again, Arthur." "Ward, are you sure?" "." "Rudy." "Well, if it ain't Jimmy Hands." "How's life treating you,Jimmy?" "." "Bit seamy,John." "Know how it is?" "." " Hi." " Your face is new." "What you in for?" "." "We're in the middle of a rehearsal at the moment." "It's a little bit tense, so you're welcome to stick around and watch... or George can arrange for you to be taken back to the wing." "It's up to you." "I'll watch." "All right, first positions, everyone." "Let's go from the top." "You could be a little bit-- Fine." "Okay." "Jimmy, arm." "Cliff." " Fourmonths at sea" " No." " Now." " Fourmonths at sea" "Is more than a man can stand" "Do you know what people have been saying to me?" "." "They've been saying that Jimmy Hands really knows his onions." "I don't really." "Hello, Kelly." "Ward." "Kelly, Ward, go on." "I'm doing 25 years,Jimmy." "And how can I put this?" "." "I get very... very depressed." "Now, it's come to my attention... that you're plotting something that can help me with my depression." "No,John." "I'm not." "I swear." "Have you got room for your new best friend on your little trip?" "." "Have you got room for your new best friend on your little trip?" "." "Okay." "I'll put you all together." " But there's already four of us." " Four's complicated." "Two is smart.Just me and you." "Hello." "Hi, love." "Well, mate, come and sit here. see?" "." "Right." "sit down, Gumbel." "You may kiss your visitor at the start and end of your visit." "Physical contact is not permitted... and may result in your visit being terminated." "Yes, sir." "You've been a good boy, then?" "." "Yeah?" "." "Ritchie boy, yeah?" "." "What's up, little man, hey?" "." "Your dad's a musical director." "Yeah." "Yeah, I'm doing the music for a big show." "What, in here?" "." "You didn't get my letter?" "." "I sent you a long letter all lovey-dovey." " And" " Oh, yeah." "I got it." "Is anything going on?" "." " Julie." " No, Cliff." "Now, now." "Oh, you know how it's like in here, love." "You know, you imagine all sorts of stuff." "Don't cry, Ritchie boy." "What's the matter, eh?" "." "Hey." "Here, look." "What's this?" "." "Is that a lion, yeah?" "." "I went to the zoo with Uncle Allen." "Let the boy alone, Gumbel." " Leave him, will you?" "." " sit down." "Just tell me there's nothing going on, girl." "Just tell me there's nothing going on, girl." "Everything's gonna be all right, isn't it?" "." "Yeah, of course it is." " Visit terminated!" " No, I was just touching his head." "I wasn't" "Hi, Cliff." " Good visit, mate?" "." " Yeah, great." "Good." "Lovely." "Yeah." "Take me with you,Jim." " Take you where?" "." " Everyone knows what you're up to." "Take me with you." "Please." "No, Cliff." "No." "What is this, mate, The Great Escape?" "You're working late." "If I were you, I wouldn't... hang around this place one second more than the absolute minimum." "Well, I have stuff to do." "Catching up, you know." " Come on." "Jimmy." "Your table awaits." "Come on." "Mr. Phillips." "Come in." "Beans and sardines." "And for starters..." "Lupris pomadores," " Lenny's going to go mad." " I'll tell him they were for you." "He'll understand." "Jimmy, I really should go, you know." "Hold on." "Do you fancy a nightcap?" "." "What's that?" "." "Chateau Long Rudford." " Oh, my God." "Is this hooch?" "." " I saved it for a special occasion." "Cheers." "Oh, Jesus!" "Yeah, that's absolutely disgusting." "It's vile, isn't it?" "." "Cheers." "If I could, I'd like to take you... to the scandia Restaurant, Howard street, Belfast." "It's been there years." "My dad used to take us there for a treat." "He loved musicals, my old man." "He used to take me and my mom up to the Grand Opera House." "We'd see a show, and then afterwards... we'd go for a meal in the scandia." "It was a big thing for us when I was a kid." "I'd like to go one day." "I" "I didn't give you a fair chance,Jimmy." "No, no." "You've been fair." "Working in a prison... you get to think everyone has an angle." "That's understandable." "There's a lot of bad people in here, Annabel." "I think I'm beginning to lose my judgement." "Are you a bad person,Jimmy?" "." "There's something I've got to tell you." "You already had." "No, there's something else." "Extra rehearsals?" "." "Good evening." "Come on, Hands." "Don't push your luck." "Jimmy and Nelson's suit..." " made from a donkey jacket." " Great." " Really good initiative." "Fantastic." " Know what this is?" "." " Epaulets." " Gee, really well done." "And eye patch... made from a plastic spoon." " That is good." " King George's crown." "Very, very regal." "And most of the admiralty hats will be made from folded newspaper." "And Nelson's hat" " Jimmy!" "Will be made from donkey jacket material, hard." " Oh, yeah." " Oh, yeah." " That's really nice." " Nelson's hat's nice." "Yeah, that's great." "And my hat?" "." "Well, we can only manage one star, eh?" "." " Hardy gets a newspaper." " Yeah." "so he gets the best hat, and I get the crap hat?" "." "No, he gets the eye patch." "He gets all the best lines." "No." "And he gets the woman, Paul." "It's the lead role." " Really, come on." " No, stop." "It's only a hat." "A nice one, though, isn't it?" "." "Leave them in the wings, please." " Uh, Paul. sorry." "Excuse me, Paul." " Yep?" "." "There's a bit of a problem." "Arthur's had to drop out." "What?" "." "Why?" "." "What's the problem?" "." " Voice is gone." " What?" "." "John here-- John's agreed to step in for me." "Okay, have you got the lines?" "." "What do you think?" "." "'Course I know the lines." "Well, I hope so." "Can we get you into makeup then?" "." "I do hope you're bleeding joking." " No." "I'm not joking." "Now." " Yeah.John, then you go study, yeah." " Excuse me." " Well!" " Hello." "Good." " The press office will be excited." "A great opportunity to present the prison in a positive light." "In the opening night, they've got a couple of critics to come along... and possibly a fly-on-the-wall TV crew as well." " Wow." " Ah, Mr. Mortimer." "Listen." "This scene where Hardy kisses Nelson." "I thought we'd gone through that, Gostis." "It's not the kissing, sir." "It's more the" "Yeah." "Rudy's raised some questions about Hardy's characterization." " He has?" "." " Yeah. see, um... the way it is written-- and it's good, sir-- but... all Hardy does is go on and on about what a top geezer Nelson is." "And I was just thinking, well, what about Hardy?" "." "You know?" "." "Like, who is he?" "." "Where is he coming from." " Well, he's" " Yeah." "Rudy has suggested" "I think it's a good idea-- that you might want to have... a look at Hardy, perhaps tweak it a little." "I mean, would it help to make him more aware of Nelson's flaws?" "." "Nelson doesn't have any flaws." "Nelson's the hero." "Yeah, yeah." "But that could be seen as a somewhat... traditional one-dimensional take." "Nelson is also a man." "That could introduce a new level of dynamic tension between" "Yes, well, it's a bit late." "It's a dress rehearsal, after all." "still, see what I can do." "Oh, thank you very much." "Fourmonths at s" "Fourmonths at sea" "Is more than a man can stand" "Fourmonths at sea" " And not a sight ofLand" " Hard tack" " Dried beef" " A Life ofpain and dirt" " Hard tack" " Dried beef" "And not a sign ofskirt" "Land ahoy!" "Swab and scrub the floors and deck" " What are you doing?" "." " That's my line." "T ake it easy!" "Mr. Perry, sir." "I knew they were up to something." "Wait a minute." "Put them back." "Put everything back exactly the way it was." "Uh, sir, shouldn't we confiscate this stuff now?" "." "Our boys would like that." "That way, they get away with a month in solitary... whereas ifwe wait until they're scrambling over the wall... they've banked all rights and go down for an extra ten years." "I'll show them who's the star of this boxy show." "You've been charged with fighting, Hands." "Have you anything to say for yourself?" "." "Nothing that would make any difference, sir." "so, if you don't mind, could you just give me my 14 days or my 28 days... or whatever it is, so I can go and contemplate the error of my ways?" "." "Well, fighting will not be tolerated." "Do you understand that?" "." "Never, under any circumstances." "Yes, sir." "What about the show, sir?" "." "I don't know, Hands." "It was going to be a night you'd never forget-- your swan song, sir." "The scenery's all ruined." "Half the cast are in the block." "What is it, Mr. Perry?" "." "As you know, sir, I've always had my reservations." "Indeed, Mr. Perry." "But, having seen the dress rehearsal-- or what there was of it" " I'm not so sure." " Oh?" "." "Really?" "." "The production is very impressive, sir." "Well" "Well, that's very kind." "Thank you." "I recommend we proceed with the show." "Good for morale, both staff and inmate." "Well, good." "Good." "Well, that's settled then, Hands." "You may return to the wing." "Oh, shit!" "shit!" "Cliff!" "Oh,Jesus!" "Cliff!" "Is there someone here?" "." "Help!" "Guards!" "Guards, he's hanging in there." " What is it?" "." " He's hanging." "Oh,Jesus!" "Help!" "He's hanging." "He was harmless." "Perry taunted him and bullied him every single day." " I know." " Everyone knew." "No one did anything." "I did nothing." "I'm sorry." " I don't know what to say." " I tell you, I am gonna get him." "I'm gonna fix him." "I'm gonna get Perry back for Cliff." "sorry about Cliff." "Here." "They let me out of chokey this morning." "Well done, Lenny." "You know what the Italian for "tomato" is?" "." "Pomadoro-- apple of love." "Don't worry." "I won't say anything." "Land ahoy!" "Any good?" "." "Land" "All set?" "." " What's the plan?" "." " Got your scripts?" "." "Just before Nelson dies, Ward, Kenny and us will leave the stage." "Roger and Darren will be waiting for me." "You deal with them and me and John go ahead and start." " sounds good to me." "Anything else?" "." " Yeah." " Don't hurt them." " No worries,Jim." "Hey,Jim." "Couldn't help me with these buttons, could you?" "." "Excuse me, lads." "I'd just like to say good luck." " You're up,Jimmy." " Uh, yeah." "Good, Rudy." " Ah, Gostis, there you are." " sir." "I've been thinking about what you said about Hardy." "Take a look at that and see what you think." "Nelson says, "The king won't let me at them." "It's insufferable."" "And Hardy says, "You're always like this."" "Yeah, I like that, sir." "That's a little better." "Thank you." " Where's my wig?" "." " Thank you." "Good luck." " Anyone seen my wig?" "." " sorry, Annabel." "No." "Ten minutes, everybody." "Ten minutes." " Ten minutes, Rudy." " Paul, mate." "Look what Mortimer's got me saying now." "Yeah." "I can't actually read that because I can't find my glasses." " I'll get back to you on that." " No, but I'm really" "Fourmonths at sea" "Is more than a man can stand" "Four months at sea" "And not a sight ofLand" "Hard tack, dried beef" " A Life ofpain and dirt" " Dried beef" " Hard tack" " And not a sign ofskirt" "Land ahoy." "Go!" "see Naples and die." "Isn't that the same, Hardy?" "." "Lord knows, I may as well be dead." "Bonaparte has the freedom of the sea and the admiralty won't let me at him." " It's insufferable." " If the men seem like" "You're always like this, Horatio." "I mean, it's always about you, isn't it?" "." "Wait." "I'm enjoying this little sideshow." "All right." "I've gotta go." "I'll miss my cue." "Give me the key." "The king will be with you in a moment." "I trust our royal leader is in good health." "You can see for yourself, sir." "He comes now." "He comes now." " Now, you say?" "." " sir." "He comes now!" "Mind you, he has been a little bit iffy lately." "Rumors, Nelson." "Rumors." "I know all about rumors." "They talk about me, you know." "I used to think that Love had rules" "That each side played a written part" "I used to think that men were fools" "Men were fools" "I thought that women were a snare" "That I would always Live alone" "I never thought that anywhere" "I'd find a Love to call my own" "suddenly here you are" "suddenly my heart's aflame" "Here you are" "Here we are" "And Life will never be the same" "The world's at war and men will die" "I see it clear with just one eye" "Stay with me, be with me" "Say you'll never Let me go" "Sail with me, Leave with me" "Say you'll always sail the world" "With me" "Till the end" "Of" "Time" "What the hell do you think you're doing?" "." "Are you really that stupid?" "." "What's going on, Jimmy?" "." "You seem a little distracted." "What?" "." "Don't fucking lie to me!" "Are you doing what I think you're doing?" "." "Annabel, I, um" " God, I can't believe it." "You idiot!" " Annabel, would you calm down?" "." "Calm down?" "." "I trusted you!" "Anger management." "Bastard." "If you go ahead with this, I'm not afraid to go to Perry." "Oh, Perry already knows." "It's so obvious." "I'm surprised you didn't see it, but I tell you this:" "When we go over the wall tonight, Perry's career is over." "You could be out in two years,Jimmy." "You're gonna wreck your life." "What life?" "." " Okay, uh, should" " Yeah." "Yeah." "Annabel, never fall for your costar." "Always ends in tears." "Thank you, Paul." "Fire!" " You're hit." " A white flag!" "ships have surrendered!" "We are victorious!" "But our valiant leader has fallen." "Gather round, men." "Right, we've got to polish up the old, miserable muzzle thing on the old deck." "The day." "How went the day?" "." " Come here, you prick!" " Ow, get off me!" "You gave your life that we" "Live and might be free" "The Land you Loved so much" "You gave the nelson touch" "Kiss me, Hardy" "Kiss my dying brow" "I need to know her Love for me was true" "With one Last kiss" "Be Emma for me now" "My Love, my soul, my darling bride" "Kiss him, Hardy" "Kiss his dying brow" "He needs to know the Love for him" "Was true" "It ends without her" "By my side" "It ends" "What is that?" "." "Clever bastards." "Two prisoners, sterile area ten." "Deploy "C" and " R." Come on." " Go, go!" " It's a hell of a long way down, Jim." "Jump,John.Jump!" "Where's the other one?" "." "so where's your partner?" "." "Come on, Toombes." "Who is it?" "." "Don't be silly." "I've got sorts of screws." "All right." "Okay?" "." "Where's Rudy?" "." "I don't know." "Did Toombes buy it?" "." " Yeah, he's gone." " I knew he'd fall for it." "Come on." "Here's Annabel's wig." "Well, get dressed." "Leave our clothes by the ladder." " Right." " I'll get Rudy." " Okay." " Yeah." "And when we anchoring the harbor" "There'll be crowds along the key" "They'll be singing songs ofjoy and victory" "And although we beat NapoLeon the best isyet to come" "So come on and start the trumpet beat the drum" "We'll beat the drum Home" "We're going home" "Home We're going home" "And we'll soon be free ofthese wooden walls" "It's a prison set on the sea" "Can you hear how loudly freedom calls We're coming home" " How are Roger and Darren?" "." " We gotta find out then." " Are they all ri ght?" "." " Yeah, they're fine." "Come on." " Did you see my solo, Jim?" "." " What?" "." " Did you see my solo?" "." " Oh, yes." "Great." "You got a real future." "Come on." "Down the block, I was thinking." "What?" "." "I was thinking love is like tomatoes." "You've got to give it the right start, a good seed... and a good place to grow." "But if you don't feed it... water it, care for it... it just dies." "Oh, and you gotta watch out for end rot." "What are you talking about?" "." "she's a lovely girl." "If you go now, you'll never see her again." "Thank you, Lenny." " Thanks." " Oh, yes." "Don't do it." "It's not just about me." "I've got people depending on me-- friends." " I've got to go." " Go where?" "." "You'll always be on the run." "You'll always be hiding." "That is not freedom." "I can't do any more time, Annabel." "I just can't do it." "You can,Jimmy." "You can do it." "They got Cliff." "They're not gonna get me." "Good-bye, Annabel." "sort this out." "All right, lads." "I'm not going down there." "There's no way." "You go down there first,Jimmy." "Roger's done climbing, haven't you, Rog?" "." "He's climbed mountains." " Thank you, Darren." " Have you?" "." "Well, a spot of exaggeration." " I'll give it a go." "What the hell." " Good man." "Back." "Come on." "Keep going." "You're doing well." " You all right?" "." " Yeah." "Oh, dear." "Better get the audience out." "And let's keep this under our hats, shall we?" "." "Could you please leave the hall as quickly as possible?" "." "Please." "I thought we were going to be allowed to mingle with the inmates." "sorry, madam." "Mingling's off." " Right, Rudy." "You're up." " Yeah." " Oh, yeah." "Good luck." " Yeah." "You're not coming, are you?" "." "Oh,Jesus Christ,Jimmy." "Are you mental?" "." "We're practically out." "The only thing we've done that's worked, and you're gonna walk away from it." "Oh, it's Annabel, isn't it?" "." "so." "so." "Yeah." " We set?" "." " No." "Wait for Jim." " Jimmy's not coming, boys." " What?" "." " He's not coming?" "." " No." " Annabel." " Yeah." "We can still do this, right?" "." " Right." " Are we okay?" "." " Roger." "Yeah?" "." " Okay." " Yeah." " Okay." "No one's gonna believe I'm a girl." "Look at these legs." "Darren, this is what you do." "You embody the role, okay?" "." "You just be the part." "Be the girl." "You, my friend, are a girl. say it." " Oh, yeah." "I'm a girl." " That's right." "You're a sexy girl." " Roger?" "." " Okay." " They'll spot me." " You'll be all right." " This is it, boys." " Right." " Okay, I'm on the main gate now." " But I thought it was marvelous." "I thought the way they all got together was very entertaining." "Heads up." " Good night." " Good night." " Thank you very much." " Good night." "Good night." "Thankyou." " All right, mate." " Good night." "Officer, may I just say how we thoroughly enjoyed the show." " Thank you, sir." "Good night, sir." " Marvelous." "Are you planning... any further productions, do you know, in the near future?" "." " Good night, sir." " Well, thank you again." "Terrific." "Thank you." "What's that?" "." "That in the bush." "I don't know." "Oh, we're just gonna have to go." "Come on." "Amy?" "." " Rog?" "." " Amy!" "Yes!" "Where's Hands?" "." "Where is he?" "." "Where have you been, Hands?" "." "He was with me." "We were discussing the show." "Yeah, they were with me, actually." "Why?" "." "Is there a problem?" "." "Um, Mr. Perry, sir." "We're... three short." " Get them back to the wing." " Come on, lads." "Get a move on now." "Quickly." "Come on." "Nice work." "Come on, Hands." "You as well." "Oh, wow!" "sorry." "Ladies and gents... get your star Maps here." "This is a guide to the homes of the rich and famous." "Find out where the movie stars are living." "star Maps!" "Come and get your star Map!" "Sunny" "Yesterday my Life" "Was filled with rain" "Sunny" "You smiled at me" "And really eased the pain" "Now the dark days are done" "And the bright days are here" "My sunny one shines so sincere" "Sunny one so true" "I Love you" "Sunny" "Thank you for the sunshine" "Bouquet" "Sunny" "Thank you for the Love" "You brought my way" "You gave to me" "Your all and all" "Now I feel ten feet tall" "Sunny one so true" "I Love And then it goes on."