"Once, there was a city whose inhabitants were either princes or beggars." "Between them, there was nothing but stray dogs." "They were the middle class." "PHILANTROPIQUE" "Specially for Mr. Relu the Baron, our special guest..." "A very good evening to all of you!" "Hope you liked the show..." "Very much." "Something wrong, honey?" "Excuse me..." "Could you pay the bill now?" "My shift is ending." "If you need anything else, ask my colleague." "There must be a mistake here..." "with the zeroes." "Impossible, Sir." "3,200,000 lei." "Check it yourself!" "3,200,000..." "That much for two meals?" "We'll check it together, no problem!" "You've had:" "One Cinzano 60,000, one whisky 130, one foie gras 280, one soufflé 330," "French champagne, 1,800,000, that's already 2,530,000." "Excuse me..." "Moving on." "Chateaubriand 200,000, Valdostana 180,000," "Pinot Noir 500,000." "I told you, but you wouldn't listen." "Add ice creams and coffees:" "3,200,000 on the nose." "That's not counting Miss Laura, our lovely singer." "Excuse me, what kind of prices are these?" "Restaurant prices, Sir, you have them on the menu, only they're per 100 grams." "Excuse us." "What if I said I haven't got enough?" "Don't say that, please." "Just supposing." "Come on, a gentleman like you!" "How would you react?" "How would I..." "I'd pretend I didn't hear." "Never happened before?" "Sometimes we have jokers here..." "But they always end up paying." "Suppose I tell you I'm in deep shit?" "Don't say that, I beg you!" "My wife and I, we both work hard..." "Why are you upsetting me?" "But a whole month's pay can't cover this bill." "Then why go to restaurants?" "We made a mistake." "If we made a mistake, we pay for it." "50,000 more for the cup, and now you've made the lady cry!" "I never thought it'd cost that much." "Let's be civilized, I could pay in installments." "Do I look like a sucker?" "I have 500,000 on me, take it!" "How can I find 3 millions?" "If we start on that tone..." "What tone?" "I'm explaining the facts!" "Get Mugurel and Andone!" "We could sell the washing machine!" "Sell your mother, the machine is broken!" "Don't talk to me like that!" "Forgive me!" "You see I'm going nuts!" "What are we doing now?" "We can't spend the whole night on this." "Come on guys, I asked for a helping hand!" "Here we are, boss." "Okay, let's not make a scene." "Hands off him!" "Please!" "Let me explain!" "My wife and I celebrate today ten years of marriage." "For once, we thought we could go to a restaurant." "I'm a teacher, she's a lab assistant, we hardly make ends meet!" "We overestimated our budget, we made a mistake." "But it's a family event, women care about these things!" "Tell you what." "The lady stays here, and you bring the money in one hour." "Where from?" "Where am I supposed to find 3 millions at midnight?" "Tell me:" "What should I do?" "Steal, kill?" "Rob a bank?" "We smack him?" "Waiter!" "Come to daddy!" "One second, Baron..." "Don't argue, come here!" "Put everything on my bill." "Come on, Baron, they don't deserve a treat like this." "Leave it, they're just a couple of losers!" "Must be your lucky night!" "OK, guys, it's settled." "How come?" "The Baron is in good humor." "Next time, don't show up without money." "Had my boys worked you over, you would've spent a fortune on the dentist!" "How did I get into this?" "I'm wondering, too." "You want to know?" "It's a long story?" "Depends." "We could walk for a while." "Don't you think it's time we spoke on a first name basis?" "After just 10 years of marriage?" "No way." "Stop kidding and talk." "OK." "Let's start at the beginning." "Seventeen..." "I hate that age." "I hate my students." "Ten days ago, that was all my life amounted to." "Each morning, the same pimpled faces." "I counted them:" "246 pimples on sophomores, 197 on juniors..." "Bucescu, may I disturb you a second?" "Me, hot for you." "You, hot for me?" "Why are you angry?" "I asked you to turn off your cell phones, right?" "I called you a bimbo 'cause you were juiced and you were putting the move on Limpy." "Sometimes, I was thinking with their words." "School was "sucky"." "The "stash" was running low." "Classes were "fun less"." "My life was "dragging ass"." "Bucescu." "Be "cool" and pay attention to me." "20 years before, I was their age." "But in those times, school was no joke." "The poets of the 19th century were among the first to reveal the antagonistic contradictions undermining capitalist society." "What kind of contradictions did the poets reveal?" "Antagonistic." "Give me an example of a poem revealing such contradictions." "Today, I teach literature in this topnotch high school, reserved for students of a certain level." "I just published my first book:" "10 short stories in a tiny print run, at my expense." "All I made on the deal was the price of a tram ticket, and the thrill of seeing my work in bookshops." "I saw a book here, "Nobody Dies For Free"." "Any left?" "They fought over it!" "Three copies sold." "And the others?" "Back to the publisher." "Why?" "No demand." "Bullshit!" "This is a demand!" "But we sent 'em back..." "Why?" "Did they stink?" "The asshole was dead the day after." "I killed him in some atrocious way, on the third page of my first novel." "New paragraph." ""The night wormed silently into the city like a..."" "Unfortunately I was stuck on this sentence and for days, despite all efforts, I couldn t get over it." "Christmas music again?" "It's September!" "With a parasite in the house eating our pension," "I might not live to see Christmas." "That crap in the fridge was your pension?" "That's your mother's work!" "You should go shopping." "What about the writer?" "You talking to me?" "Yes." "You've read the book?" "I'm going to." "When?" "As soon as I finish this one!" "I glanced over it, it's very nice." "Who asked you?" "Go to sleep!" "We were a united family, living a perpetual Christmas." "Out there, however, there was Vera." "Vera had only one passion:" "Other people's kids." "It's bed time." "Try to speak softly for a minute, till he falls asleep." "He was very nervous last week." "What a treasure!" "Aren't you moved by such a little cutie?" "Here we go again..." "What did you say?" "He's sweet." "You think I'm stupid?" "You want to humiliate me?" "I heard you." "Here we go again with what?" "I hate having these talks in public." "You hate them in public?" "Let's go home then!" "Have you got a home for us?" "No." "Because you're afraid." "Afraid of marriage, afraid of kids!" "Vera, don't exaggerate." "Same old song, every time:" ""I want a baby to play with..."" ""Forget nine months, I want it now!" Don't fight..." ""Buy me a baby right now!"" "You're a pig!" "Just go fuck yourself!" "You woke up the baby!" "It was the end of a two year affair with Vera, the only woman who ever wanted a kid from me." "But I had about 100 kids at school, all driving me crazy." "Especially one of them..." "Robert!" "You put moves on her?" "You're dead." "Me, with this dog?" "He made a move on me!" "You're fucked!" "Robert was the school hotshot." "All the girls were wild about him." "He rarely came to class." "When he did, he was stoned." "I was happy to see him as little as possible." "The principal would rather see him no more." "Hey teach," "I heard some talk about booting me out." "What's up?" "You must've done something." "But you stick up for me!" "You're my buddy, right?" "What can I do, if you keep looking for trouble?" "Let me spell it out to you." "If they boot me out and you're on their side, you won't be my buddy anymore." "Then I come see you..." "and slice you like salami." "Fair?" "Sounds fair to me." "I'll think about it." "I suddenly realized that a young man in his formative years is a frail thing and that hasty sanctions can traumatize him for life." "Robert deserved a chance to graduate." "I asked the headmaster to let me talk to the boy's parents and instructed Robert to send them to school." "I was almost curious to meet this little rascal's family." "You see, sometimes in life a door swings open and suddenly nothing remains as it was." "Well, imagine the door of Junior B..." "Mr. Gorea?" "I'm Robert's sister." "My parents were supposed to come, but they're out of town for a few days." "N ice to meet you." "Ovidiu Gorea." "Diana Dobrovicescu." "Robert's sister!" "Take a seat." "Thanks." "But you have to sit down too." "I didn't know Robert had..." "Well, then!" "What kind of contradictions did the 19th century's poets reveal?" "Antagonistic." "Sorry?" "I didn t get the question." "Is there a problem with my brother?" "A problem with Robert?" "The problem with Robert..." "It's not really a problem." "I mean..." "You haven't done your homework." "So you're Robert's sister." "Tell me if he's done something bad." "Robert is so hot tempered..." "he should calm down a little." "It's age, too." "If you don't fool around a bit at this age, when do you fool around?" "I think I left my cell phone on my desk." "No, you haven't left anything on your desk, so get lost, and fast!" "You must be tough, otherwise they go too far." "So, then..." "Robert's sister..." "Student?" "I go to modeling school." "Obviously." "For someone like you, that is the future." "When I say "like you", I mean..." "Not that you couldn't do a serious job." "I mean, fashion is serious enough, but it doesn't require any schooling." "Though you have mentioned something about a school..." "Am I confused here?" "A little." "I'm exhausted." "I worked all last night." "I'm writing a novel." "You're also writer?" "Yes." "In fact, I am "also" a teacher." "Teaching is mostly a hobby." "Kids are such fabulous raw material, I love working with them..." "I'll break your necks!" "So..." "Robert's sister..." "What books have you written?" "Several." "I just happen to have a recent one here." "I'll sign it for you." "It's very kind but..." "I insist." "8 p.m. Nova Brasilia Café." "I'll be waiting." "Too bad, Gorgeous." "You don't know what you're missing." "Sorry." "There was a Writers' Guild meeting." "I couldn't get away." "I was about to leave." "I'd have called if I had your number." "Glad you made it." "Next time, pay the bill." "What did she say?" "Nothing." "Let's go someplace else." "I know a nice pizza place near here." "Pizza place?" "Let's go to a nightclub!" "What nightclub?" "The Why Not." "There's a party sponsored by a toothpaste company." "Can we get in?" "Sure, I made a commercial for them..." "Shall we run to the subway?" "Subway?" "Welcome to the Domident promotional party, where people with strong teeth drink like crazy, dance like crazy and..." "have a crazy time!" "Get me a Campari orange!" "I had a hollow feeling in my stomach." "The taxi, admission, 3 Camparis, a pack of cigarettes and 2 coffees." "Half a month's salary gone already." "What'll it be?" "What I desperately needed was a miracle." "Now it's time for our crazy contest." "Domident Corporation is offering 3 million lei to the winning couple!" "Ready for... the Orange Dance!" "Let's do it." "You sure?" "You'll have to tell me how." "The starting position!" "Place the orange between your foreheads." "Whatever happens, it should never touch the floor." "You can only use your body." "Those using their hands will be disqualified." "That's life." "Let's have a drink." "What's a good excuse for bolting out of a toothpaste party?" "Toothache." "Logical, isn't it?" "And if she didn't buy it, too bad." "One thing was certain:" "Glamour girls cost too much." "I decided to spend less time on romance and more on writing." "Come quick!" "Daddy is on TV!" "Can you hear me?" "Hello!" "We can hear you." "Ask your question." "Making a fool of yourself again?" "Talk about pensions!" "With all due consideration, I'd like to ask:" "Is this the way things should be in our country?" "What way?" "The way they are!" "Our show happens to deal with fiscal reform." "Please ask a specific question." "It's very specific!" "Everything has gone bananas in this country!" "Comment on that!" "Thanks for the question." "I have another one..." "We'll be back after a commercial break." "You're a joke." "Bullshit!" "They couldn't handle the truth." "Hey babe!" "You free tonight?" "That's cheeky!" "You still have milk teeth." "Your place or mine?" "Anywhere." "I won't live to see you buy your own toothpaste!" "Ovidiu!" "Commercials!" "Your place or mine?" "Anywhere." "Diana?" "Ovidiu speaking." "Ovidiu Gorea." "Robert's literature teacher." "Sorry, did I wake you up?" "You don't remember?" "We went together to a toothpaste party..." "A toothache, that's right." "I saw you in that commercial..." "I thought you were great." "OK, I'll let you sleep." "We'll talk some other time." "Good night and..." "Did you get a chance to go over my book?" "No kidding?" "You read it?" "I only had four readers in the world, and one of them was Diana." "I was wasting my best years before a typewriter, while a heavenly creature was within my reach, and waiting to be grabbed." "Somebody, up there, liked me." "I needed some real money for a decent date." "This time it had to work." "No more low profile!" "A paper is just for a day." "A good book lasts forever." "I was hoping to sell a few hundred copies." "After an hour, I lowered the price." "Even the beggars were making more than me." "Think you're smart?" "Get lost!" "What's the problem?" "This isn't your patch." "That's Gigi Piedone's." "You working for him?" "I don't..." "Then get lost, shithead." "This is a public place..." "The Writers' Café." "A place I usually try to avoid." "Most of these pathetic drunks were legends of the past, poets of the Golden Age:" "The first to reveal antagonistic contradictions between Soviet vodka and Romanian brandy." "Too bad." "Given my situation" "I had to swallow pride." "Mr. Negreanu, may I..." "Go ahead." "I truly admire your books and..." "Want me to sign one?" "Sorry, no pen." "I'd like an honest opinion on my book." "I'm busy till December." "Leave it, anyway." "And if anyone wants one, they're on sale for 30,000." "What is this?" "Selling your stuff to writers?" "It's tough for us newcomers." "Tough for you?" "That's a good one!" "Me, with my 17 titles, dozens of awards, and three pieces on the school curriculum," "I eat and drink in this shithole!" "On credit, too!" "The same goes for my friends." "And pricks like you come to complain?" "You have some nerve to demand money from famous writers for your crappy booklets." "Here's what I think of the 90's New Wave!" "Look!" "God bless the classics!" "Long live Eminescu!" "Down with postmodernists!" "Maestro!" "What about a vodka for a poem?" "Meaning?" "I am the railway station poet." "Come here, I won't bite." "I'm sort of a high school novelist." "I got that." "You wrote a book." "Not bad." "Buy a vodka for a fellow writer." "Come on, the cheapest one!" "And I'll recite you one of my poems." "Who is your publisher?" "Do I look like a clown who runs after publishers?" "No, I just recite:" "A poem for a small vodka." "May I choke on it if you don't like it." "The railway station poet?" "Title:" ""Poem by a Man Realizing His Head's U p His Ass"" "I'm listening." ""In the tiny bedroom On a broken bed,"" ""I lie crushed by the weight"" ""Of a giant fist on my head."" "Is that all?" "That's it." "Not bad." "You're a tough critic." "I have another one." "Go on." "Not with an empty glass." "Title:" ""Poem For a Girl I Met in Tram No. 44"" ""Before She Ditched Me."" ""The smile she gave me in that tram Was shining with a million lies,"" ""My life became a traffic jam"" ""And so did Mr. Ion Susai's."" "Who is lon Susai?" "A friend, you don't know him." "Let's have one more." "That's all." "I've only got two poems." "Only two?" "Don't tell me you're some Tolstoy." "True." "Ten short novellas don't amount to "War and Peace"." "How much do you sell these soap operas for?" "3,000 a piece." "Less than a vodka." "I'll take all ten." "If you can afford it, why beg for a vodka?" "Tonight, I'm begging for a vodka because I'm thirsty." "Usually, I recite for money." "I couldn't believe it." "He was making five times my salary." "He could afford to eat in fancy restaurants." "He was living better than most of my friends on two short poems, which weren't even his!" "You're not the author?" "Not really." "The railway station poet sent me to see a certain Mr. Puiutz, alias Pepe, a man he described as "ferociously clever"." "I was to show him my book and ask for advice." "Come in." "The coffee is boiling." "Excuse me..." "I'm looking for Mr. Puiutz." "In his office." "Come in!" "Sort it out, and fast!" "Sort it out, and fast!" "I was told to see you by..." "I know." "The drunk at the station sent you." "I don't have anything for you." "I'd like to show you a book." "A collection of short stories." "You're a writer?" "I'm starting out..." "What's the problem?" "It's not exactly a best seller." "I need to sell a hundred copies pretty fast." "Forget it." "So you can't..." "No chance." "Mr. Piedone is here." "Tell him to wait." "I assume you need money..." "Do you know what I do?" "Not really." "But since it's a foundation," "I suppose you support cultural projects." "Remarkably perceptive." "Such perception leaves me speechless." "Follow me." "Have a seat." "Piedone!" "Brought a new batch?" "Five top quality items." "They're lined up outside." "How much do I get?" "20% on each text, like last time." "I shouldn't even speak to you." "But I've got a mother's heart." "Miruna!" "Go type!" "Okay, morons, line up!" "One at a time, or I'll bust your heads!" "I was beaten and tortured..." "Political jailbird, under Ceausescu..." "She won't earn a cent with that." "She might even be lynched for anti communism." "Send her to churches, in a wedding dress, with a picture of her dead husband." "Type:" ""I'm waiting for my husband."" ""He went to see with the Lord and told me to wait for him here."" "Next!" "Maybe an artist..." "Film director." "His sign should say:" ""During the dictatorship I made movies."" ""Today, our cinema is dead and I'm incurably ill myself."" "Maestro, you're a friggin' genius!" "Another!" "Kid with AIDS." "AIDS is outdated, today they die of flu." "Can he sing?" "Can you sing?" "He can, or I'll kick his ass." "I'll write him an orphan subway song." "The lyrics on payday." "Next." "Retired cripple." "Like 3/4 of the population." "Uniform, medals, crutches." "A ping pong ball over one eye and a sign saying:" ""An eye and a limb lost at Stalingrad."" "Seven months pregnant." "She'll push a doll in a stroller." "The doll must be in terrible shape." "Text:" ""Give my second child a chance."" "Don Pepe, you are a great artist." "I know..." "I'm off, I see you're busy." "Miruna, see him out." "I'm leaving in 5 minutes." "Tell the driver." "You were talking about cultural projects..." "I think I came to the wrong address." "I'm not so sure." "Can I drop you somewhere?" "This is a new profession." "I invented it." "Begging?" "Writing for beggars." "My works are shorter than yours, but they have an advantage:" "They sell." "Look!" "Those are the hopeless." "The free lancers..." "Nobody organizes them, they earn nothing, and they're a drain on society." "Much like yourself." "See that one?" "Ex violinist, so desperate he's even stopped playing." "Heartbreaking." "The trick is:" "He can't play a note." "Never learned, poor fellow." "We even taught him how to hold the violin." "But people give handouts." "How much?" "You'd be surprised." "In a few hours he can make a fortune." "Mr. Piedone, whom you met, passes twice a day to collect the cash." "Even the police take their cut." "It's called organized begging." "Shameful!" "How small minded." "To beg and not to receive, that's shameful." "For years, Romania has gone cap in hand to Europe and the U SA without getting a cent." "What do they expect working with amateurs?" "Watch this guy." "I know it's embarrassing, but could you lend me 50,000?" "It's an emergency, the ATM is broken and I need cab fare." "You don't always have to dress in rags." "The morons in government never understood that." "Leave me your number and I'll reimburse you." "Forget it." "In situations like these..." "How much do you need?" "Two or three million." "U rgently?" "By Saturday." "Will you take the plunge?" "You mean beg with a credit card?" "Wrong:" "Without a credit card." "And most challenging, from your point of view, you won't even have to beg." "Ever been interested in the mechanism of charity?" "It's a fascinating field." "What is the secret trigger that controls compassion?" "I'll tell you:" "A story." "An out stretched hand without a story to tell gets no charity." "I've got a few ideas I want to test." "What I need is a character." "You have the perfect face and an extra quality:" "You're kind of sad." "If you play ball and follow the rules," "I promise that by Saturday you'll have all the cash you need." "Think it over and give me a call." "One call, honey!" "I am so hot for you..." "Let's explore our wildest dreams together." "Just one call, and all your fantasies will come true." "Call Mr. Pavel Puiutz and I'll be all yours." "Bucescu!" "Give me the phone." "I wasn't using it!" "Lucky me!" "Hand it over." "How does it work?" "Yes, it's me." "What's your decision?" "That's the winning answer!" "N ice working with you." "Now listen carefully:" "Remember the young lady you met in my office?" "Good evening." "I am Ovidiu Gorea." "Miruna Stan." "Shall we go?" "Good evening." "There." "By the window." "Take it easy." "We have two hours to kill with these coffees." "Talk." "Let's make conversation." "How long have we been married?" "Ten years." "We can still speak to each other, though." "I don't trust the waiter." "He's so rude." "All the better." "What a welcome!" "Don't be silly." "Pepe paid him off." "If he's rude, people will be on our side." "What people?" "It's too early!" "Give it another hour." "I could kill for a cigarette." "Not here." "Pepe says my character shouldn't smoke." "Ready for the bill?" "What am I doing here?" "Sorry?" "I've been thinking." "There are things you just can't do." "I'm not up to this racket." "I thought I was, but I'm not." "My apologies to Mr. Pepe." "I almost forgot the ring." "I'll be damned!" "Ovidiu and Miruna!" "What a small country:" "Just a handful of tables!" "You both look fantastic." "Happy couples are so rare these days." "Mr. Puiutz, I can't go on." "It is beneath my dignity." "Your dignity?" "Flat broke, you can afford dignity?" "Let me tell you a story." "In the 1950s, when I was young, I wanted to be a writer, like you." "Do you know what that whim cost me?" "5 years in jail." "The comrades didn't enjoy my manuscript." "In the can, you get a crash course in dignity." "A cigarette for the guard?" "One day of dignity." "No more cigarettes?" "Careful when bending over." "Mr. Puiutz... 5 years later, when I got out, guess what I discovered?" "It's the same deal on the outside." "Take your dignity and shove it up your ass, and make sure it stays there." "Check, please!" "Ten years of marriage and you still look like lovebirds." "Incredible!" "Waiter!" "There must be a mistake here." "I don't think so." "Check it yourself." "As far as I know we're still living in Romania!" "Who can afford these prices?" "We have our clientele, Madam:" "They all pay." "Honey, will you check this?" "I'm thinking I'm going mad." "It's enormous." "We don't have that much money." "This can't be!" "You have to pay." "This is a very special night for us." "My wife..." "Unbelievable!" "I was enjoying every minute of it." "I felt like a great actor, playing to a breathless audience." "It was only the beginning, the opening night of a long running show." "Honey, calm down." "I'll make a deal with him." "Can you read my lips?" "You pay and that's it!" "We should have stayed at home!" "You had to insist!" "It's our special night!" "You had all the specials." "Did we ask for specials?" "We did not!" "You told us to leave it to you." "I just wanted to please my wife on our 10th anniversary." "10 years!" "Then please me too and pay up!" "You know what my husband earns?" "I don't give a hoot." "Nothing in two months!" "The Ministry has stopped paying teachers' salaries since the budget was cut!" "We haven't been to a restaurant in ten years, thanks to this criminal policy that is destroying education!" "It's a scandal, Madam!" "3,900,000, please." "Why can't you be reasonable?" "Let's try and find a solution!" "I could stay and wash the dishes." "Your health and happiness!" "Laura!" "Sing "Happy Anniversary" for these two lovebirds!" "Everything I did, Miruna, had one goal:" "To impress her tomorrow with a fat wallet, a cell phone and a flashy car." "That's the whole story." "What do you think?" "What can I think?" "Good luck." "I'll need it." "Here we are." "This is where I live." "See you Monday?" "Till Monday." "Any advice?" "Yes." "Take the ring off." "Bring it back by noon tomorrow!" "Is this your car?" "You bet." ""Nobody Dies For Free"." "300,000 copies sold." "Where are we going?" "I booked a table at The Coral." "After dinner, we can go dancing." "We've even got an orange." "Diana!" "Idiots!" "We're going to The Cool Club!" "Where?" "The Cool Club!" "Diana, how are you?" "Great!" "What about you?" "I broke up with Silviu!" "See you at the club?" "Yes!" "You tell me all about it, okay?" "Black Magic for the lady..." "And whisky for me." "Make it a double." "Have you tried this Afghan?" "It's great with whisky." "How's being a writer, fun?" "It's cool if you're a pro." "But you have to pay to play." "Some guys claim they can write in a cold-water flat, with their folks around and an empty fridge:" "Bullshit!" "Only suckers buy that." "You need a nice environment." "A house in the mountains..." "A nice bottle of whisky..." "Some cool music..." "Music is what you put down on paper." "But writing on music turns you into a lyricist." "Without music, I couldn't even sign my name." "You can't blame music for that." "What about other stuff?" "You need music for it too?" "Listen to the macho man!" "Wow, it's the A list!" "Shit!" "Here comes the Joker..." "The party's over..." "How did he find us?" "Okay, you morons." "I had to make a zillion calls to find out where the action was." "If I ever find the big mouth..." "Too late." "We were about to go." "No kidding." "Man, I'm in the mood tonight!" "You with this grandpa?" "Does it bother you?" "No, I'm waiting my turn." "For what?" "To take our friendship to a higher plane." "Hi, man." "Don't go sulky." "I like people who can take a joke." "He'll have you laughing your brains out." "Didn't you know?" "He's a scream!" "But she doesn't appreciate that." "He hangs out with sorry guys." "Let me show you a trick." "How do millionaires smoke?" "Like me!" "No." "Give me the pack." "And the lighter." "I'd like to know how much you charge." "For what?" "To get lost." "What bribe would make you go to bed early?" "About what time?" "About now." "My price is one million." "Per night." "Here's two million." "I'm paying in advance for the next time." "I love doing business with responsible people." "That's a good one!" "The old man's cool!" "You have a good night now." "I get it, you're a smart dude..." "Now say good bye to everybody, and off you go, home to bed." "Take your money back." "Lady Di!" "I'm joking and your friend's taking it too far." "What joke, you took the money?" "Get going!" "Mom's waiting for you." "Let him stay..." "No!" "We don't want to go to bed, do we?" "Baby making a scene?" "No, he's just leaving." "I'm not going anywhere!" "You all suck!" "Come on, let's have some fun." "I have to ask you to leave." "Why?" "You're disturbing a customer." "Who is he to lay down the law?" "If you don't know, brush up on your reading." "Do I have to show you to your car?" "You'll crawl on your knees to have me back!" "I piss on your crummy club!" "You pick on me?" "I'll have the taxman on your ass!" "I'll close you down!" "You'll be on fucking welfare, you shitheads!" "Not here." "There are too many old ladies spying on us." "Come with me." "You can't come up, my folks are home." "Otherwise I could?" "What do you think?" "Would your brother Robert... be upset if he knew we were going out?" "Why would he be?" "He's a bit impulsive." "He might not understand." "Do I ask him about his dates?" "That's enough." "You have to go." "Don't forget me till next Saturday." "You see her only on Saturdays?" "She can't go out during the week." "Models are obsessed with beauty sleep." "It's for the best." "I couldn't handle seeing her more often." "Money wise or..." "I'm a beggar on weekdays and a prince at weekends." "Your bill, Sir." "Thank you." "Irresistible, but much too expensive." "The bill?" "No, I'm talking about Diana." "Imagine the cost of a whole week with her." "Based on last Saturday's expenses..." "And the bill?" "What is this?" "I hope it's a mistake!" "Robert!" "Come here a second." "If they score, I'll kill you!" "What?" "Just a minute..." "I have to catch my breath." "How are things at home?" "Fine." "Your sister, how is she?" "She's okay." "Speaking of your sister..." "I know a girl about her age and I'd like to give her a present." "I thought I'd ask your advice." "A girl like Diana, for example, what would she like?" "I got it!" "You want to get laid!" "No, it's just..." "If you have a chick you want to bang, forget the presents!" "Take her home, give her some whisky and bang her." "Jesus, do I have to teach you everything?" "Dismissed." "If you break them, you're paying them, okay?" "Look." "Phone and power bills." "Show the young lady what we have to pay out of two lousy pensions." "One more thing..." "I've read it." "It's poor." "My place is out of the question." "Hotels are vulgar." "Her place, I get Robert." "Where can we go?" "No friends?" "I've got acquaintances." "They're all married." "And they all live way below my standards." "Do you mind changing the subject?" "Why?" "You can't spend the evening talking about yourself." "It's no fun for your wife, whoever she may be, to listen to you blabbering about some disco queen." "Especially on an anniversary." "What anniversary?" "10 years of marriage." "Are you nuts?" "We do that every night." "Maybe tonight it's special." "What do you mean?" "Maybe I want it to be special." "But..." "Maybe it's our 10 day anniversary." "Of working together..." "Of me being your wife." "At least that's what these people think." "So spare me your cheap flings." "Don Pepe can kiss my ass!" "Where are you going?" "I've got to pee." "You know... when you bring a girl to your place, sometimes she asks where the bathroom is." "So?" "So it's good to know where it is." "To be able to find a clean towel, turn the stereo on..." "To have some personal things here and there..." "That's easy." "But I don't have a "here and there" to take her to." "Talk to Pepe." "He's an understanding guy." "What?" "Must I finance your sexcapades?" "Open your eyes!" "That's the city you live in." "The view is perfect, beats the top of the Hilton." "See the nobodies passing by?" "Millions of nobodies." "When I first saw your nobody writer face, I thought:" "Miruna, coffee!" "I thought:" "This nobody wants to be somebody." "This guy wants to learn the trade." "Where is that coffee?" "There are 3 basic trades in the world:" "Wealth, poverty and sex." "Either of them pays the rent." "But on love and writing you starve, fool!" "You die for free." "The residence is vacant, isn't it?" "How narrow minded!" "I give him all these profits, trying to open his eyes to the future." "While he is busy singing serenades!" "It's been available since yesterday." "What?" "The residence on Autumn Street." "So what?" "So it's available." "Is this a conspiracy?" "Are you ganging up on me?" "When does he need it?" "Saturday." "It's early yet." "First I want results." "Back to work!" "Don't talk like that to a client!" "Do I have to pay for them?" "How much they owe?" "I'll put down half." "Is it him?" "It is!" "Who?" "That guy who can't pay the bill." "Weird, suddenly he's broke!" "And married, too..." "Thank you..." "Here..." "Smoke it like a millionaire." "Don't mock the needy." "It's not nice." "Aren't you ashamed?" "Beat it!" "Mind your own business!" "You live here?" "Sing a song for the World Bank," "All the orphans wait in rank" "Sing a song for PHARE Fund..." "Here." "Thank you, Sir." "Isn't that too much?" "I feel sorry for them." "So..." "How come it didn't work out?" "I spent the day exploring the house, setting everything up, rummaging everywhere." "I filled up the fridge." "One tiny detail slipped my mind." "Let's have some light..." "One second and we'll have some light..." "You don't really want to turn on the lights, do you?" "Bad boy!" "One second." "Want a drink?" "You know what I like most about you?" "No." "You don't show off your money." "Most of the men I ve dated like to... brag a bit." "They know that a girl who has looks can't shop in any cheap store." "I like it when a man is able to give me a few luxuries, but he should do it like you, in style." "Don't you agree?" "I do." "Want to go upstairs?" "We have music up there, too." "Don't answer." "This is the Filantropica Residence." "Leave your message after the beep." "Ungureanu speaking." "I'd like to rent the house for Thursday the 13th and Friday the 14th." "I hope the price is still the same." "Call me with confirmation on 4235617." "It was a mistake!" "Don't be silly!" "Somebody dialed the wrong number." "Guess who called me yesterday?" "The Joker." "He saw you haggling over the bill in a restaurant." "Who, me?" "And you were married, too." "God forbid!" "Of course I didn't believe a word." "But now that you brought me God knows where..." "You believe that nutcase?" "Whose house is this?" "Mine!" "It's my house!" "I live here!" "Understand?" "This is my writing desk, my typewriter, a page from my novel, a sentence I left unfinished to be on time for our date..." "Domident toothpaste..." "Fresh towels..." "My built in closet, with my clothes..." "The photo album..." "What more do you want?" "Your number." "Sorry?" "Your phone number." "I don't have it." "2236877." "Let's call your place and see who picks up." "It's ringing!" "You hear?" "It's ringing!" "Hello?" "Ovidiu?" "Yes!" "He is not at home?" "I'll call back another time." "Wrong number." "Let me drop you off!" "Are you sure it's your car?" "Where are you going alone, at this hour?" "Here." "After that, I gave you a call." "You're all the same." "You get dumped and run back to your wives." "Come on." "Shocked?" "Since I started with Pepe, I don't do it anymore." "I changed careers." "Coming, darling?" "I bet you've never been with an experienced woman before." "Otherwise you wouldn't run after cheap Barbies." "Ready to wake up, Sir?" "It's worth opening your eyes on such a lovely day." "Besides, the publishers from New York and Paris are already here with the contracts." "What time is it?" "It's 3 pm, sir." "And I'm serving your breakfast..." "in bed." "Today it's Sunday, we're free." "You know what I was thinking?" "No." "What about taking me to a restaurant?" "Super!" "That will really be a change." "Let's do it for real!" "Drink, eat, the whole works." "Who's paying?" "I'm flat broke." "Nobody!" "We take up a collection." "What's our cut?" "We don't get a cent!" "But we can at least taste all those delicacies they put on our bills." "French champagne..." "Seafood salad." "Chateaubriand flambé..." "Manchurian caviar..." "Tenderloin..." "Trout in sauce..." "Two coffees and dessert..." "Exactly 2,700,000 lei." "Radu, Mircea and Alin are next for the karaoke contest." "Sorry, we don't have that much." "I didn't hear you." "It's too much!" "I didn't hear you." "I can leave you my papers, and come back tomorrow and pay." "Don't give me that crap." "I want to see cash." "And on with the karaoke!" "Now we're going to hear an all time classic." "He's going to kill my husband!" "Please calm down!" "Wait a minute, let's talk!" "Don't worry, we'll have a talk you and I." "Let's behave like civilized people..." "Playing games, smart ass?" "You want me to pay out of my own pocket?" "Out of my own pocket?" "For you, motherfucker?" "Out of my own pocket?" "Have some more!" "Some more?" "Some more?" "SAVAGE BEATING IN FANC Y RESTAU RANT" "You could have smiled a little." "The eyes look more convincing than the mouth." "Not a bad job, though." "Would his mother recognize him?" "The "Popescus"?" "The most widespread Romanian name." "Don t you recognize my style?" "You didn't sign." "I don't sign everything." "How many suckers were taken in by this story?" "Only one, isn't it?" "Only one sucker, Miruna?" "My sweet, my darling, my little moustache, can you leave us alone for a minute?" "Yes, your wife was in on it too." "Guess who else." "The waiter." "Of course." "And who else?" "The voice on the answering machine..." "Saturday night..." "Ungureanu." "Bingo!" "You ve just won a color TV!" "No joke." "Tomorrow evening you'll be both on live TV." "Who?" "Who do you think?" "You two, the Popescus!" "Face to face with the people, on ProTV." "Don't count on me." "Unbelievable!" "Is nothing moving in here?" "Has all activity stopped?" "General strike?" "Hello!" "Anybody home?" "Mr. Puiutz, our collaboration has come to an end." "Zorro, stay calm!" "We have to prepare tomorrow's broadcast." "We've done two weeks training for this." "There's a lot of money at stake." "But above all, we are going to create a masterpiece." "Doesn't that word dazzle you, Mr. Writer?" "Masterpiece!" "You take me for someone else." "Let's set things straight." "My name is not Popescu." "The lady here is not my wife." "I'm not even a real writer, unfortunately." "I'm just a school teacher who has to teach his students masterpieces of Romanian literature." "Any remarks about my face and I'll confiscate cell phones." "Be warned." "Take out a blank page." "Draw a margin." "Is Robert Dobrovicescu here?" "He's been absent for days." "Why?" "Can we have a talk?" "One second." ""Patriotic sentiment in the poetry of 1848."" "And we work in silence, okay?" "I'm listening." "Do us a favor." "If the boy shows up in the next few days, give him a message from us." "From us?" "Meaning?" "Doesn't matter." "Say two gentlemen." "The important thing is the message." "Listen up." "The Baron is very upset." "He wants the money in three days." "If the boy doesn't show up with the cash and some apologies..." "Life is complex and full of surprises." "I don't get it." "He didn't get it." "Your turn." "The boy trashed a brand new car." "The owner is really upset." "Really upset, that's the message." "He wants money for the damage and he sent us talk to the boy." "If he plays hide and seek, we'll find him even in Vladivostok." "And it might be worse." "How much does he owe?" "He knows." "He should be a smart kid and realize that... life is complex and full of surprises." "He's young and it'd be a shame to have him crippled..." "Or worse..." "You never know." "How much money, did you say?" "3,000 bucks..." "It's the thought that counts, not the money." "That's enough!" "One move and I'll squeeze one off!" "God dammit!" "You fucking with school?" "Write your essays!" "Who did that to your face?" "Nobody." "If you want revenge, we'll do it for a minimum charge." "Don't let me see any copying." "3,000 dollars..." "Bucescu!" "The cell phone!" "Florin..." "Calinescu... brings you "Scandal of the Day", talk show of the new millennium!" "Tonight, we have three special guests!" "Good evening to all of you." "I am Florin Calinescu and I have to tell you I'm disgusted." "Fed up." "This morning, looking for some new ideas for the show" "I suddenly realized I'm fed up." "I'm sick of politicians, sick of the Parliament's big talk, sick of public and political scandals." "Where are the ordinary people with their everyday problems?" "Where are you, people who watch my show every night?" "Let us meet an ordinary couple who's struggling hard, like you, like myself, to pay the huge cost of transition." "And the core of their story is precisely a bill." "Ladies and gentlemen, on my right, Ovidiu and Miruna Popescu." "And on my left, Mr. George Stanete, waiter at the Karaoke Club." "He's going to tell us what happened." "Good evening." "Mr. Stanete, could you describe, in your own words, the incident that occurred two days ago?" "These two came to the restaurant, they ate and drank all evening and then refused to pay on account that they had no money." "I can't go to my boss with an unpaid bill for 2 million lei." "He'd fire me." "So what did you do?" "I worked him over a little." "Could we have a camera on Mr. Popescu?" "Is this what you call "a little"?" "A little, at first..." "Later... we got heated." "Before hearing Mr. Popescu's side of the story, here's the telephone number to call with your questions and comments." "Please write it down." "Hello, this is ProTV." "That night was your 10th wedding anniversary." "Yes." "My husband had saved some money for the occasion." "And I insisted we go out." "Usually we can't afford to." "What is your monthly income?" "We earn 3 million lei between us." "Where are my glasses?" "In 65 years, I've never lost anything." "That's your fault!" "Where did you put my glasses?" "Remember our 40th anniversary?" "I washed your socks while you were watching Colombo." "Shut up!" "I'm waiting to go live." "It's a scam!" "Come here, you have to see this!" "We ve never had great ambitions." "Maybe we hoped for a better life..." "Remember her?" "The couple who couldn't pay at The Polenta." "It's a scam!" "Tell us how you first met." "He wrote me a poem..." "I was in a crowded tram." "He slipped a piece of paper into my purse." "I found it when I took out money to pay the fine:" "I had no ticket..." "I always carry it with me." ""The smile she gave me in that tram Was shining with a million lies," ""My life became a traffic jam" ""And so did Mr. Ion Susai's."" "Who was Mr. Ion Susai?" "A friend of mine, you don't know him." "Florin, we can take calls." "The control room tells me we have a call." "Good evening to you and your guests." "Good evening." "I'm Pavel Puiutz from the Filantropica Foundation." "I've read this story in the papers and I am deeply shaken." "These two people are not vagrants." "They both have jobs, both earn salaries." "And yet our society denies them a decent life, and a minimum of respect!" "I totally agree with you." "Do you have a question for one of our guests?" "An announcement." "This morning, my foundation opened a bank account in Mr. Popescu's name at the Romanian Bank for Prosperity." "We've already made a deposit and we'd like the account number displayed, so that other people will be able to help this couple too." "Mr. Puiutz, say the number and we will display it on the screen." "The number is..." "It's my turn!" "Can't see a thing!" "We have a second call." "Mr. Gorea from Bucharest." "Do you hear me?" "Perfectly." "Good evening to you and your guests." "Good evening." "I want to ask one question." "The government has promised to increase pensions." "When?" "We haven't seen anything yet!" "Do you have any idea of what we're talking about?" "Of course!" "But these youngsters you've invited, they go to restaurants and don't care about old people with low pensions!" "Thank you for your contribution." "It seems we have another call." "Mr. Fotica from Bucharest." "I have to tell you these two are pulling your chain." "Please mind your language." "Just let me explain." "I've seen these crooks last Thursday at The Polenta, doing the same lousy routine!" "Some customers paid for them, myself included." "Believe me, they're pulling your leg!" "This is a serious accusation." "Any reaction?" "It's absurd!" "How can he imagine..." "Lies!" "I've never worked at The Polenta." "I'm sure it's a mistake." "I'm afraid not." "It seems this gentleman has seen us someplace." "No point in trying to hide it." "Maybe you'd like to tell us more." "Maybe one night I kicked you out of a club, with the help of security." "Right!" "You made waves, at The Cool Club." "At The Cool Club?" "Lmagine that, the places I frequent." "Soon we'll hear we were on the Riviera, or in the Securitate, during Ceausescu's time!" "Just a nice practical joke at the phone, a good laugh..." "It's no joke, Mr. Florin!" "You're with friends, aren't you?" "I hear voices and music." "Is that a problem?" "I have a question for you." "What form of transport did you use, that evening, to go to the restaurant where you saw us?" "My own car." "Your own car?" "What do you do for a living?" "I'm a student." "And what do you study?" "I study in a private university." "Now I will show you something." "Please bring the camera as close as possible so everyone can see it." "I will bet Mr. Student here has no idea how much this costs or how to use it." "Will you take the bet?" "Why not?" "It could be interesting." "Mr. Fotica?" "Yes!" "If you're still there..." "Tell us how much is a tram ticket these days?" "Personally, I've lost track." "Come on, Mr. Florin!" "Don't you see he's playing the crowd?" "Speaking of playing the crowd, instead of wasting your time with cheap science fiction," "I suggest you take the tram or the bus, at least once a year, just out of curiosity." "You'd see a bit of real life and maybe you'll feel less like playing jokes on TV." "Don't make fun of what you don't understand, Mr. Student." "If life blessed you with rich parents, try at least to be... more modest" "if you can." "We'll be back after the break." "Want to make a deposit?" "I want to withdraw the equivalent of 3,000 U SD." "At the current rate of exchange, that makes 90,540,000 lei." "Password, please." "Password?" "Yes, your account is protected." "You can't withdraw without the password." "Can't do it... leave a poor man without his last penny..." "What did you think I do, charity?" "He's a rookie." "He doesn't know the ropes." "The word copyright doesn't ring a bell?" "Yesterday on TV you talked different." "Maybe." "You too had lower claims, at the beginning." "Come on, boys!" "We've been working nights, we've been working days..." "Don't be sulky." "Have a drink!" "What if I tell the police?" "Slow down, boys!" "What did you say?" "He's really is a rookie." "How about singing a happy song?" "Give me 3,000 dollars, as a loan." "3,000 dollars?" "What manners, after everything I taught you!" ""Give me!"" "I need it." "He needs it." "You've flunked out, teacher." "You'll have to revise a little." "Come back and impress me!" "Move me!" "Bring me to tears!" "Tell me about the poor Cinderella you're trying to help." "What does she need?" "A fur coat?" "A cozy apartment?" "An out stretched hand without a story to tell gets no charity!" "Be a pro, for God's sake!" "Popescu." "What happened?" "No strings attached." "What is this?" "It's for Robert." "He needs it." "But don't tell him it's from me." "That boy is a bum." "He doesn't deserve your help." "Let him fend for himself." "What can he do?" "I'm telling you now, so you won't regret it later." "I have to run along." "Remember where I live?" "Drop by at 9 p.m. 6th floor, apartment 46." "I'll be waiting." "Mom!" "Sleeping with your clothes on..." "Why didn't you wake me up?" "I didn't have the heart to." "You must call a certain Mr. Puiutz..." "Looking for the young lady?" "Miss Diana, yes." "She went out earlier." "At about 7 pm." "Rex!" "Down!" "You're looking for the girl who's on TV?" "Do you know where she went?" "Domident!" "Anywhere!" "She had a suitcase and she was in a hurry." "But who are you?" "Cheers." "Let's hear another one." ""Romanian girls are using more and more"" ""Those beautiful, expensive German cars"" ""But they still love their country like before"" ""In spite of their big crush on German cars"" "Divine." "Say it once more, I want to learn it." "1213 years old, are you interested?" "Robert?" "What are you doing here?" "I'm hiding." "It's all right." "You can go home." "What's all right?" "The money." "We got it." "No shit!" "You had a stroke of luck." "Go home and talk to Diana." "Diana, your sister." "You're really stoned." "I haven't got a sister." "Sure!" "Must've been my sister who came to school..." "That one..." "She's not my sister." "She's a girl from the block." "I sent her to bullshit you." "You can't lend me 3,000 U SD, can you?" "Not really, man." "Don't laugh." "I can't either." "You know, Robert..." "There are plenty people in this world who aren't worth lifting one finger for." "You're top of the list." "Even the Baron's thugs are more fun than you are." "So, why did I break my ass trying to save your skin?" "Let's go." "You have to sleep." "I'm taking you to a lady friend." "You'll be safe there." "I've located him." "He took a cab from the station." "Is this your stop?" "That'll be 50,000." "Beat it." "Run!" "What do you want?" "Here he is." "Where have you been?" "Your wife was worried stiff." "You scared me to death!" "What happened?" "I can't believe it." "You're drunk!" "One doesn't earn that much everyday!" "This calls for a drink." "He who never touches alcohol..." "He looks fine!" "How do you feel about all this support?" "What are your plans for the money?" "Please, one at a time!" "I'm happy for this couple." "Our foundation prefers to help one person in difficulty instead of spreading popcorn to hundreds." "Sorry, it's too crowded over there." "Marriage certificate." "Let's have a picture of you and your wife." "Enough for tonight." "Let them catch their breath." "Thank you all and good luck." "You are always welcome." "That's all." "I'll go home myself." "Hope you have everything you need." "Mr. Popescu..." "May I remind you that you owe me, morally and materially." "3,000 dollars." "Don't bother, I know my way out." "We've been working days, we've been working nights..." "It's late." "Shall we go to bed?" "We'll clean up tomorrow." "What time do you get up?" "Eight." "I have to be at work at nine." "Wake me up too, I'll fix breakfast." "It's all right." "I'll make myself some eggs." "Darling, not tonight." "I'm very tired." "Do you mind?" "No, I understand." "I'm going to write for a while." "If I fall asleep, will you turn the TV off?" "Honey..." "Can you believe it?" "Ten years!" "They passed as though they were days." ""The night wormed silently into the city"" ""like the hand of a thief in my pocket."" "No, don Pepe." ""..." "like me, in bed with my sleeping wife."" "Babe!" "Are you free tonight?" "What do we have here?" "Get in the car!" "Why?" ""Punk kid chased by thugs."" ""He's better off begging, than stealing."" "You feel pity for this little scumbag, this creep, this suburban piece of shit?" "Watch your..." "Shut up!" "You feel pity?" "I've got your money!"