"Malti, why didn't you pick the phone?" "I was in the bedroom..." "Okay listen" " You asked me to get yellow 'daal'." "Now they're saying there are two types" "Which one should I get?" "Get half a kg of both..." " Half a kg of both?" "Anything else?" "Just whatever is on the list..." "Don't forget salt and matches" "Guess what happened?" "I was getting the car filled" "The guy fills in petrol worth 1400  then gives me a bill for 400 only" "Really?" "Yeah- so I thought I'd save a 1000 bucks and buy pastries for everyone" "Then?" "No, I didn't" " I just thought, poor guy..." "Is there Coke at home?" "I think there is, but get a bottle anyway" "And Diet Coke for me..." "Ok - see you in sometime..." "How come I don't get any water?" "You want to be watered?" "Are you sure about that?" " No I am just like that." "Finish that now." "Give me that 'chutney'." "One more, one more..." "large, large." "Don't be funny..." "Mummy large one, large one, please mummy." "Avi, go to bed!" " Enough now!" " One more..." "last one" "Have you finished all your homework?" "Be careful, Avi..." "You read all this today?" "Wow!" "Don't read now!" "Please..." "Do the mouse..." "Again... again... again..." "You are a balding mouse" "Ok" " Let me go bald in peace" "Baldly" "Is there anything sweet?" "Might be..." "I want something sweet now!" "Check the fridge" "You smoke and I get the bitter taste" "Taste it?" " Try some, its yummy..." " No..." "I don't want it!" "Come let's go to bed" "Let me finish this chapter" "It's a very long chapter!" "I'm sleepy... please..." "Go to bed then" " You tuck me in..." " Malti please!" "Tomorrow, ok?" "I promise" "Daniel is the murderer... and Sophie dies in the end" "Thank you!" "Hurry up!" "I can't eat more..." "Finish it fast or mamma will get mad" "Do you want some?" "Papa has lost his appetite..." "He doesn't like anything anymore" "You are a good boy." "You can finish it quickly" "What have you put up here?" "Good morning" "Good morning... is this really true?" "Rubbish." "Good Morning, Good Morning." "How would you know?" "You don't smoke" "It's nonsense." "Practice yoga, you'll be fine" "Do you have any such problem?" " No" "See?" "And you smoke such a lot" "It's rubbish!" ""Papa has lost his appetite" why do you taunt him?" "Now there will be no action for 10 days" "Tell me what to do..." "How can I tell you?" "I'm not the one who's living with him" "But, you're more experienced..." "You know how to seduce..." "I can't keep one guy." "They run away the minute I talk marriage" "You're the one who is living with the same guy... for past 10 years" "You should tell me how to keep them" " You're not helping" "You don't need help" "Do you know how long it's been?" "Forty days!" "I'm so sorry for you..." "Stop laughing!" "You can't force these things." "I can't will it "up" or "down"" "Meaning - no response?" "There is response, but at the wrong time" "When I'm shaving..." "When I'm driving..." "Sometimes in a business meeting..." "And on chat sites of course..." "You know what it's called?" "...lt's the law of diminishing returns" "Economics in the bedroom!" ""Hi honey, come to bed"" ""She again wants sex!"" ""Alas, how should I tell her that I'm not up to it"" ""Am I unattractive... he doesn't love me... has he found someone?"" ""Does she think I'm impotent or may be she thinks I've found someone?"" ""Tell me Diana, what I feel in my heart, why don't I feel it there?"" "All night he surfs the Internet" "So what?" "Even I surf the net" "It's only a computer." "What can he do?" "Wives don't understand..." "Things change..." "He used to sleep with his leg over me" "Now he runs away from me" "She used to say, "Can't you keep your hands off?"" "Now when I don't do it, she says, "you used to hold me like this..."" "Then you were a scared goat so he became a tiger..." "Now you've become a tigress, no wonder he is scared" "Listen to this..." "Mr. And Mrs. Santa Singh go to the village on a vacation." "The first day when they go out for a walk..." "Mr. And Mrs. Santa Singh visit a farm..." "The wife spots a cow and a bull in the act..." "She asks the farmer "How often does this bull ask for a cow?"" ""At least four times a day"" ""Four times!" "Please tell this to my husband"" "The husband is offended" "He asks, "Does this bull ask for the same cow every time?"" ""Never sir!" "Never with the same cow again."" "Mr. Santa retorts, "Tell this to my wife"" "What?" "What?" "You don't want to?" "You want to?" "Always..." "The problem is, when I want to... you're either sleeping... or you're busy... or shouting" "I shout?" "See... there you go again" "You call this shouting?" "Then you haven't seen anything yet" "I'm quite sensitive..." "Oh, you're sensitive?" "Am I not?" "I don't know... you've changed" "You don't love me like you used to..." "You need proof?" "I'll give you proof..." "Then, don't complain to the cops that your husband harasses you..." "I promise I won't" "Shit..." " What?" "The pajama... there's a knot..." "Why did you tie it like this?" "Where are the scissors?" "Not there?" "Hang on..." "Must be on the table..." "Yes, I'm looking" "Found it?" "Yes... hang on!" "Hello!" "Urmi?" "I'll call you later..." "Is this anytime to call?" "I'm looking for scissors..." "I can't find them..." "Scissors?" "Why?" "There is a knot in the pajama..." "Listen I'll call you back..." "Why do you touch my things?" "You don't anything when you need it." "I don't know why they make them with strings..." "Just the solution for your problem" "Malti, are you mad?" "Don't do that!" "Avi!" "Where did you hide my scissors?" " I didn't hide them" "Stop lying" "I've told you not to touch my things!" "Papa, I swear I didn't!" "I know sweetheart..." "How much is a chocolate bar for?" "Five" "Buy two..." "Two chocolates?" "Be quite or I'll also get slapped" "Loving your wife is like a job..." "And if it's a job then you need subordinates..." "You need tools... help..." "You need this..." "What's this?" "When you're feeling blue, all you have to do is to take one or two" "Viagra?" "At this age?" "At your age one fourth is enough and for you - half" "Take it when you leave office..." "As soon as you get home, attack!" "Enemy vanquished!" "But, I heard that a man tried it once...  fractured himself... there" "If you go bungee jumping, there's always a fear of the rubber breaking..." "This is the instant solution." "Otherwise, do as I do" "Practice yoga." "It'll keep your mind and body in shape" "She'll never ask you again "You don't want to?"" "How did you know?" "Like this - through the nose..." "But do it in the morning... ..." "Not after a meal..." "Now have your meals." "He has grown so big!" "Two years is a long time!" "Feels like ten..." "You guys have become American..." "Rubbish!" "I am more Indian now than I was in India!" "He has started yoga and has turned vegetarian" "Not vegetarian sweetie, vegan..." "Yoga is more an American fad than Indian" "That's not true!" "Everyone watches Yoga on TV..." "How would you know?" "Americans will patent everything yoga, turmeric, neem..." "Make big bucks and romance Gisele Bundchen!" "Who's that?" "A supermodel!" "Indians are marrying all the supermodels..." "Like Elizabeth Hurley..." "Hurley is just a name, it's not an invitation." "Your Hindi has really improved!" "It's an exotic language after all..." " You are exotic, sweetheart" "Where is the time to start a family?" "Both of us lead such hectic lives..." "And raising children in America?" "No way" "Thank god for my parents..." "Must be a great support..." "Yes - otherwise with both of us working..." "Is there a duster?" " Duster... difficult question!" "You still look the same..." "How do you do it?" "Yoga?" "No baby, plastic surgery" "No, seriously..." "Tell you the truth?" "Swinging..." "Swinging... how do you mean?" "There is this whole network of swingers clubs..." "You contact them." "They get in touch with you" "Once you reach the inner circle, it's a whole new world" "Such a craze for swinging!" "We have swings in every building here but no one really swings" "What?" "Swinging - you idiot, as in... wife swapping..." "Avi, go and finish your drawing..." "What are you saying?" "It's a secret to happy marriage..." "It's a secret to youth..." "Go to a party... shuffle car keys in a box..." "What are you saying?" "Why are you so shocked?" "Shocked?" "It's not sinking in!" "You have just dropped a bomb on me..." "You swap wives?" "I am not the only one." "Everyone does it" "Even the whites?" "The whites, blacks, yellows, brownies - everybody" "Even Shaifali?" "Of course Shaifali." "She's the only wife I have" "She is okay with it?" "Wasn't in the beginning but she got used to it" "Amazing..." "You do it everyday?" "Every weekend" "That's 4 times a month!" "Yes... 52 times a year, so?" "Wow... and Shaifali as well?" "Not a word to anyone, okay?" "What were you talking about?" " We were just talking about you..." "Complaining about me again?" "No, he was praising you" "Really?" "Tell me..." "I was telling him how well you swing..." "What?" "Come let's go have dinner..." "Let it be, the maid will do it tomorrow" "I'm just putting the plates away" "You are really beautiful..." " Really?" "You are all fired up tonight?" "The beast in me has woken up..." "Please don't let it sleep again" "The beast wakes when it wants and sleeps when it wants..." "Sleeps too long, methinks!" "Malti have you ever cheated on me?" "Why do you ask?" "Quiet!" "I'm asking the question..." "If I did?" "I will be very angry!" "The beast will wake up!" "It will turn into a man eater - will kill you!" "Then I have got to do it!" "I am serious!" "You are mad..." "That may be so, but answer me anyway..." "I can't..." "I love you..." "I'd just die of guilt..." "Assume there is no guilt?" "I'd hide things..." "I'd tell lies..." "Wouldn't I feel guilty?" "Suppose you didn't have to hide" "I wasn't hurt..." " You won't be hurt?" "I'd be very hurt... very upset..." "But suppose I wasn't..." "Still I can't..." "Why?" "You would be devastated" "I would?" "Yes, because you love me so" "If I still loved you after that..." "If I wasn't hurt, if I was happy?" "You'd be happy?" "If I were..." "If I were to sleep with another man... and you'd be happy about it..." "Then, I'll beat you with a stick..." "Break your bones one by one..." "Throw you in the washing machine to clean your head out!" "You love me so much?" "Yes..." "And don't ask stupid questions!" "I just wanted to see how much you love me" "And?" "Very difficult... for anyone to come between us..." "It's impossible..." "What are you looking for?" "I' m looking for a magazine with ads... broad minded ads..." "Nothing like that..." "There is!" "Yellow in color..." "That one has stopped..." "Anything else like that?" "I'll show you..." "No... not these..." "That one had only ads..." "It has ads, doesn't it?" "Yes..." "But I only want this section" "Take what you want but pay the full price" "Could I speak with Mr. Zoravar please!" "This is Swapan Doshi here..." "I just received a mail from you..." "This is my first time" "Yes, tell me..." "Great, I'll see you in the evening" "Who are you meeting?" "No one really" "What's this?" "Give it back!" "It's nothing..." "Nobody?" "Nothing?" "What's up?" "I will tell you some other time..." "Tell me what?" "Is there a compound in your building?" " Yes, there is..." "Is there a garden in the compound?" " Yes, there is..." "Is there a swing in the garden?" "No, there is no swing" "Then you won't get it..." "It's a six!" "Is Mr. Zoravar here?" "Please come in..." "Are you Mr. Zoravar?" "Do I look like Zoravar to you?" "Think about it for a while... meanwhile I will fetch him" "Are YOU Mr. Zoravar?" "But I was told..." "That's my father." "Swapan Doshi?" "For safety..." "Carrying the photo?" " Photo?" "Wife's photo?" "...but your father..." "Oh!" "He is deaf..." "Can't hear a thing" "Okay... okay..." "I thought..." "Yes, it happens to everyone" "Quite a few people live here..." " So?" "So, how do we?" "There's always your place..." "My place?" "Is there a problem?" "Well, I have neighbors, the society..." "It'll have to be your place." "This place is out of question" "I'd have to ask" "Ask who?" "The society?" "Anyway let me look at the photo first and then I'll decide" "You show me the photo" "Sure, but you first" " Why not you?" "Because you emailed me" "Yes, but it was your ad..." "So?" "Does it mean I stick my wife's picture all over the Internet?" "Don't we have any self respect?" "Don't we?" "Listen, I don't think I want to do this." "Please leave" "Neither do I..." "And look here" "What's that for?" "If you tell anyone about us... your photo and email id will be all over the net..." "Now, get out!" "Please don't say anything..." "So this is what you were getting at?" "About not feeling hurt..." "Not feeling guilt..." "Harsh and Shaifali do it" "Harsh and Shaifali do what?" "This..." "How do you know?" " Harsh told me" "There are swingers clubs." "That's why he still looks young" "If he jumps in the well, you'll also jump in?" "Is this a well?" "It's a bloody gutter!" "If people do it, there must be something to it" "Why do you want to do it?" "Malti, you are getting it wrong" "I am not..." "Now I know why the beast came alive that day..." "Its fine, obviously I'm not good enough for you" "That's not it..." "That's it" "Please tell your American friends not to come here again" "You praise Harsh all the time..." "Harsh is successful, Harsh is smart" "Are you Harsh?" "Am I Shaifali?" "Besides they live in America..." "Rest of the world is all screwed up" "We are the only saintly souls left" "So why do you ape them all the time?" "You ape them..." "Not me" "I ape them?" "And you don't?" "Then why do you buy Levis jeans..." "And why do you take Avi to McDonald's?" "Why do I even argue..." "Because you don't understand" "Fine..." "I don't." "Okay?" "Why did you go and see Shark Tale and Spider Man-2?" "Because Avi likes them..." "See?" "See what?" "I don't get it" "What's so funny?" "You... you are so funny!" "Give me your t-shirt" "What's the t-shirt got to do with this?" "Give it to me, its dirty!" "You're smelling" "Wear dirty things..." "Do what you want" "You don't care about what I want!" "I care about you, that's what" "What are you looking at?" "My sarong..." "What's it to you?" "What is it?" "Papa jumped off!" "What are you doing?" "Please come back up!" "Move out of the way Avi..." "What's wrong with you?" "It's only a sarong!" "You're not angry now, are you?" "You're not mad at me anymore?" "Go finish your breakfast..." "Not you" "Nobody can claim to love my wife..." "I mean... their wife more than I love mine" "That's why I always lie to her" "If you love your wife you can't see her sad" "You lie to her because you love her." "You don't want her to go" "And lying is an art..." "My wife asks me, "Where were you?"" "I reply. "I was with my girlfriend"" ""Stop kidding me..."" ""I was at work honey, where else..."" "People are into wife swapping these days..." "Yeah, keys in a hat..." "You have heard of it?" "They've been trying but it won't work here..." "Why not?" "In our culture, it's the man who does it..." "If anyone lays a finger on my wife I'll break his legs!" "I've heard it happens here..." "Who cares?" "You tell me, would you do it?" "Me?" "Are you crazy?" "See I have a girlfriend." "She is another man's wife..." "But I am the one who is doing it to her..." "She doesn't do a thing..." "But from her husband's point of view..." "He wears thick glasses... what point of view would he have?" "I am Doshi here..." "Where do you live?" " Oshiwara." "Do you eat fruits?" "Which ones?" "Grapes..." "Pomegranates... mangoes..." "Mangoes?" "What kind?" "Langda..." "Totapuri... alphanso..." "Alphanso?" "Very good" "Do you cut them or peel them?" "I cut them..." "Sorry boss..." "It won't work" "Wait a minute." "I don't mind peeling them..." "When I fell sick... he wouldn't sleep at nights..." "Wouldn't go to work... taking care of me" "He drops Avi to school... helps him with his home work" "He never says no to anything." "Should I walk out on all that?" "But Malti, how could he ask you to do such a thing?" "He has never cheated on me..." "Even now, he's only asked me." "He has not done anything" "He comes to pick me up everyday" "Should I walk out on all that?" "Sunil works late hours these days?" "Wake up!" "Malti is leaving..." "Mr. Sunil Arora is here to meet you..." "He said he'd emailed you..." "What can I do for you?" "You had given an ad in Debonair..." "You are Swapan Doshi?" "It's just an alias..." "Because they told me Sunil Doshi..." "Are you married, Sunil?" "Yes, happily married." "Malti... is my wife's name" "And this is your first time?" " Yes" "Have you spoken to your wife about this?" "Oh yes." "In fact, we talk about it all the time" "And she is willing?" "She's always been very experimental" "She used to be a science student..." "That's your wife?" "My wife, Kalpana..." "Okay, Sunil, can I be frank?" "Absolutely, I am always frank" "See, in matters like these... men are usually quite open" "Completely open" "Women are more conservative" "Completely conservative" "But Malti isn't like that." "In fact, this was her idea..." "I suggested it, but the idea was hers" "See what I'd like to propose is that we all meet once..." "At our place, before we commit to anything" "Very good idea!" "So how's Wednesday 7:30 for you?" "Done" "Can you make it Saturday?" "Saturday, 6:30 is good?" " Done" "I'll be there..." " Along with Malti" "You remember her name already?" " With her" "Done" "Okay, I'll take your leave" "Please tell Kalpana, that's a very nice photo" "Just hear me out!" "I've heard enough." " What have you heard?" "You are going on like a broken record..." "Why are you acting so strange?" "Someone just says something and you get hung up on that..." "I am only asking you to meet them once" "Why should I meet them?" "Who are they to me?" "Just give them a chance!" "I don't want to!" "They are very nice people - like us..." "I am sure they are nice..." "Then?" "You are not nice." "Your intentions are not" "What's come over you Sunil?" "Nothing..." "I'm evil, that's all!" "Do what you want then" "Have I ever stopped you from anything?" "Leave me out of this!" "Have I ever done anything without you?" "That's why I love you." " And I don't love you?" "It's a funny way of showing it" "This also an extension of our love!" "It will make our love stronger!" "It's like sharing something... like a holiday..." "like an adventure... like trekking or river rafting..." "It's a new experience!" "Stop saying that!" "Don't shout." "Avi is sleeping..." "Is this the time to chop vegetables?" " I'll do what I want..." "Why is it always about what you want?" "Give it back" "I won't allow you to chop it" "I'll chop you up!" "Get out of my kitchen!" "This kitchen belongs to me too..." "Have you ever made anything besides coffee?" "Why are you crying?" "I am out of your kitchen now" "This is how you love me?" "You want me to be a tramp?" "You want me to sleep with some stranger?" "Please stop crying now" "I just wanted you to meet them" "Would you rather we did it with someone we know?" "Like Harsh and Shaifali?" "Just checking" "How can you be so insensitive?" "Don't you see what you're doing?" "What am I doing?" "Do I beat you?" "This is even worse!" "Take off your T-Shirt!" "Fuck the T-Shirt!" "That bastard Doshi has fifty affairs" "He is smart, I am the idiot!" "You just care about your cheap thrills..." "Are you just an animal?" " Yes I'm an animal, ok?" "If you find it so difficult, then why don't you..." "Why do you..." " What?" "Why don't we split?" "So that's what you want?" " That's what you want." "Open the door." "What are you doing?" "We can sit and talk..." "What is this childish behaviour?" "You and your tantrums!" "You go where you want to go" " Avi is not going anywhere" "Avi did you hear me?" "Don't wear your shoes" "Malti you don't take Avi with you." "I forbid it!" "Stop crying" "Ok then go..." "And don't come back." "Why aren't you eating?" "I've cut them for you." "You can stay for as long as you like..." "It's your house!" "But think of Avi... think of your future..." "Within 3 days..." "In 3 days he will be here..." "Begging for you to come back!" "Throw him out!" "There is no need to go back" "Where are you off to?" "Don't listen to him..." "He's lost it!" "Yes..." "I have lost it..." "I have turned senile, right?" "Was it my idea to marry her off to that stupid salesman..." "But you were both jumping with joy..." "He was the best boy in the world, a bloody gem, a bloody pearl!" "He is not a bad boy 10 years - and never had a complaint before" "10 years..." "Big deal!" "We have been married for 40 years - 40 bloody years!" "Does he beat you?" "He doesn't look after you?" "Did he ask you to leave?" "So why must you disgrace yourself?" "What kind of talk is that?" "I am sure there is a good reason" "You don't worry, I'll get you married again" "Will you shut up?" "And why don't you say something?" "Sammy, I know you are a south Indian..." "But cricketers from the South are not a patch on North Indians" "Have you seen them bat?" "What's wrong?" "I'll tell you later..." "What is it?" "Can't you wait a little?" "There's Sammy!" "Sammy, this is my mother..." "Where is he?" " Third floor..." "Doctor, bring him back" " I had no idea" "I had no idea he'd give up his life" "I should have accepted him for what he was!" "How's he now?" " He's better" "Cut salt from his diet" "What is the stress?" "He is 37 years old..." "What sort of a lifestyle do you lead?" "How can his BP be so high?" "Heart is the central organ..." "Its like a pumping station..." "Its works day and night, night and day..." "If you don't take care of your heart it will lead to wear and tear..." "The heart is the seat of desire... ..." "Hope..." "Aspiration..." "What has someone said?" "I have heard a lot about this heart in the chest." "When I tore it up, there wasn't even a drop of blood." "Cut salt from his diet." "More than salt - stress!" "He shouldn't be stressed." "Exercise is good..." "Physical activity is good..." "Stress is bad..." "He should lead a happy normal and active life" "If you promise me that, I'll let you take him home tomorrow." "How did it go?" "Okay..." "Thanks buddy... my brother..." "What's wrong?" "What's wrong you ask?" "She is crying outside" "Don't think short term, man - think long term" "I wonder what she saw in you..." "How can she marry a bull shitter like you!" "You don't understand 'charisma'!" "I am going to tell her everything" "Are you nuts?" "Don't ruin it!" "She is dying of worry" "Of course she is..." "She's my wife!" " You're killing her" "I am trying to win her love!" "Leave - otherwise I'll call the doctor" "What happened?" "The pain!" "The pain... has come back" "Give me your hand." "You please keep lying down." " Okay." "Better?" "Now that you're back, I'm better" "Malti..." "I can't live without you" "Don't ever leave me again!" "Promise me you will always love me" "I promise" "Promise me - aaah" "Promise me, that you'll always trust me" "I promise" "I'll never fight with you again, okay?" "Please get well soon" "I love you too much." "Nice house..." "How old are you, Avi?" " He is 7 years old 6 and a half - 7 running..." "Do you go to school?" "Of course I go to school" " Which one?" "Avi, uncle asked you a question!" "Arya Vidya Mandir..." "First grade..." "Are you Sunil?" "That's my dad..." "What's your name?" " Avi" "What's in your hand?" " Balloon" "Have you ever burst a balloon?" "Yes" "Do you like doing it?" " No" "I love it." "Do you know why?" "Because..." "I am a witch!" "There you are!" "He didn't let me burst his balloon" "Are you scaring him?" "Are you scared of aunty?" "Aunty?" "No, I didn't mean it like that" "I am such a pea - brain!" "Pea - brain!" "Which school do you go to?" "Not again!" " Arya Vidya Mandir..." "And you?" "She works..." "We both work" "Where do you work?" "At Bharat constructions..." "I work in sales..." "You also..." "I'm in marketing..." "So Sunil has told you about..." "And you are okay with it?" "See, I just want to say that this is probably your first time..." "And you must be anxious..." "But please don't be anxious." "It's a simple enough thing" "See either it works or it doesn't..." "And in either case, it's okay" "Papa, what works or doesn't work?" "Their TV" "Can I watch cartoon network?" "So all consenting adults here?" "And, one child!" "No... no... we'll leave him at his granny's..." "I sure hope so" "I would prefer if we meet here" "Done." "It's better for us also..." "Anything you want to say?" "All I want to say is... it's a simple enough thing..." "We shouldn't get very anxious and that I am a very patient man and..." "Either it works or... doesn't work!" "It works!" "She burst my balloon!" "The witch burst my balloon!" "You are going?" "If he tries anything with you?" "I have only agreed to go there... nothing more" "And the problem is with Sunil's heart- not mine" "Let him do what he wants." "If he tries anything with me... 5 - 10" "Five days to go..." "This Saturday!" "Are you out of your mind?" "Sammy!" "Pass the stapler, Sammy" "Four days to go!" "I am very scared" "What's wrong?" "Are you sure?" "Malti, stop fighting it..." "You are treating it like a battle..." "Its supposed to be fun" "It will be fun!" " I don't know..." "I know, okay?" "Trust me..." "All you need is a little rehearsal..." "For example, I am Vinod..." ""Malti, you're very beautiful"" "Why did you slap me?" "That's what I'll do if he misbehaves..." "You are mad!" "Okay, lets try again..." ""Malti, I know this is the first time and you are a little anxious..."" ""see, either it works or it doesn't"" ""Either way, I am a very patient man"" "You hit me again?" "And so hard?" "It was meant for him..." "But it landed on my face!" "Stupid!" "Sunil, don't be angry, please..." "Has she changed her mind?" "Better not bring it up..." "My tears have no effect on him..." "Three days to go..." "Try some?" "Lunch please!" "Didn't get food from home?" "Is your wife ill?" " She is not my wife!" "Why, what's wrong?" "Divorce" "Separation" "But, what happened?" " She caught you?" "I caught her!" "Red handed!" "It's the limit!" "Doesn't an Indian woman have any dignity?" "For the last 4 months... painting class..." "But Sunil, I am not sad" "Not one bit..." "Get a hold on yourself Mr. Doshi" "How was I to know?" "We have been married so long..." "Never had a fight" "You see these tears, Sunil?" "Crocodile tears..." "Freedom!" "Liberty!" "I'll do what I like!" "Revenge!" "Revenge!" "She took her revenge on me!" "Calm down Mr. Doshi" "You are our senior." "Does this act befit you?" "I don't need anybody." "I am not weak..." "I am a yogi..." "I am not going to break so easily!" "I had no idea, I asked her to leave but she actually left..." "Doesn't she need me?" "You need me, don't you?" "Sammy...?" " Yes, of course..." "You have no idea what you have done..." "You have changed my life..." "Malti agreed?" "It wasn't easy... but she agreed" "Why are you so shocked?" "See this coffee shop?" "Frappe, cappuccino, espresso... 3 years ago, we used to have tea at that road-side stall" "So?" "I mean, gone are the days of drab ambassador cars..." "Now you have Toyota, Ford, Honda..." "Super highways, flyovers, supermarkets, Cineplex... mobile phones, broadband Internet India is no less than America now" "Even a step ahead, I'd say" "Listen..." "I wanted to ask you... any last minute advise?" "Don't rush into anything and if its going well, use condoms" "Condoms?" "I got his one, alright?" "Thanks... again" "Can I tell you something?" "Anything... your words are magical" "We didn't do anything" "Meaning?" "I was only trying to impress you the other night..." "Just trying to show off..." "I am sorry!" "You were joking with me?" "Yeah man... sorry..." "I didn't realise you'd take it seriously" "Tomorrow?" "How's she?" " Fit" "And you?" " Great..." "I am really nervous..." "Sunil..." "You really want to go?" "Just this one time, okay?" "You promise?" " I promise" "You won't stop loving me?" "Your drinks!" "Malti for you..." "No ice?" " You never have your drink with ice..." "But I told you I wanted ice..." " You didn't" "Didn't I tell him?" "I did tell you" "But you never have your drink with ice!" "Why can't I have ice if I want to..." "What are you doing?" "Why are you using your fingers?" "He is so... what's the word..." "You are so... un... un... delicate!" "That's the word!" "He's undelicate!" "Normally, he is very... sophisticated... - suave... gentlemanly..." "But sometimes he betrays his small town origins" "I love you all the same." "I really do" "You want something?" "I'll have another" "Another?" "Another small town guy?" "You should say - 'I don't mind one'" "For Kalpana, if you are not from Bombay, you are a small town guy..." "Actually I'm from Delhi... originally" "And where are you from, 'originally'?" "Let me take a guess." "You are from Bengal..." "Calcutta?" "Calcutta isn't the only city in Bengal, darling..." "You are from Orissa" "Wow, how did you guess?" "Women from East India are exotic and north east is exotica square!" "They have such lovely hair..." "They are so lucky!" "Did you know, they eat flies in the northeast?" "Really!" "They marinate them and eat it with rice" "Flies?" "No!" "Anyway what good are flies..." "At least someone is eating them..." "Why flies?" "In China, they eat snakes and leeches" "Even in Japan..." " In Japan, they eat frogs" "In China they even eat monkey's brains" "And dogs in South America, and humans in Africa." "So what?" "I am a vegetarian..." "We are the descendants of a Rajasthani warrior when he was in exile, he ate bread made from grass" "Uncouth!" " Sorry?" "Uncouth is the word you are looking for." "Not undelicate, uncouth" "Bingo!" "You are right!" "He is so articulate... smart..." "I love you my rabbit!" "You are such a clever rabbit" "Rabbit" " They eat them in Rajasthan" "Sorry?" "No, she called you a rabbit... so..." "I remembered " "They eat rabbits in Rajasthan" "He is sweet, isn't he?" "So, shall we... eat?" "Another refill, Sunil?" "I don't mind one..." "Settle down... settle down... ...you are disturbing the spirits" "Spirits?" "There is a world that we see... table, chairs, you, me, this fork..." "There is another world that you can't see but it exists!" "Did you get it?" " No" "I have been trying for years" " I still don't get it!" "But she does it..." " Does what?" "She will tell you..." "Spirits show me the other world" "Spirits?" "Ghosts..." "Do you think I am drunk?" "Who shall I start with?" "Me - start with me!" "I know you inside out" "What are you going to do?" "I am going to look into your past..." "Don't be sacred - its just a game" "Don't be disrespectful to the spirits!" "I don't think I want you to say anything at all" "I don't know how she does it but she gets it right every time" "Really?" " You'll be surprised" "Vinod, no Chinese whispers!" "Sunil, you are scared" " No..." "You are scared that someone would find out how scared you are" "You are 12 years old..." "Ah, then..." "There's a big wall... people are watching" "You are waiting for them to leave... so that you can put a ladder and get over to the other side" "There was no such wall" " It's not an real wall..." "It's a real wall!" "Oh" " I thought it was a metaphor!" "And there is a red gate" "Now that definitely is a metaphor" "You have had a terrible accident!" "You have a scar on your leg" "A taxi and a rickshaw" "I had one!" "I was in a taxi!" "You were not in Delhi..." "Yes, I was in Ranchi!" "Your spirits are getting mixed up honey... confused!" "You have a mark!" "He doesn't..." "I am telling you..." "You!" "You were six, when you fell down from a tree" "No, but my brother did" "Guys, you are not taking this seriously" "Sweetheart, you are not drunk enough" "You love Sunil very much" "Your love is more than anybody else's in this room" "Rubbish!" "I love you more than that" "I also love Malti very much..." "Sunil, you are crying" "Am I?" "You are 10 years old and there is a dead animal ...and you're crying" "I never cry" "You are crying buckets..." "I can see it..." "No but I never cry." "You can ask her" "You sweetheart..." "You had mumps!" "You were 3 years old when you had mumps" "The thing about Kalpana is that she never gives up!" "But I really thought you could see spirits!" "It's because I am not drunk that's all" "Yeah, not drunk and I think its time for the spirits to go" "You had mumps!" "Call your mother and ask her..." "Its 10.30 in the night!" "My mother is fast asleep" "Is it 10.30 already?" "Then help me clear the table" "and tomorrow morning call your mother and ask her!" "Thanks" "What are you looking at?" "Nothing" "We passed a florist shop..." "Thought I would buy you some flowers..." "So?" " No..." "I didn't" "But it's the thought that counts" "You want to see my room?" "Yeah" "What is Avi doing?" "Hold on, Mom" "Good night rabbit" "When I saw your picture in Vinod's office... your hair looked just like it does now" "Do you like my planes?" "Don't touch!" "Wood?" "Fiber glass" "No... not so fast..." "So fast?" "It's been 15 minutes..." "Win me" "Win you?" "Make me want you" "Please want me..." "Please want me because I want you" "What's this?" "My wedding ring" "You won't take it off?" "I have never taken it off..." "But if it's a problem, I'll remove it" "I don't sleep with married men..." "Do you want some coffee?" "No... thanks..." "You can have..." "Later perhaps..." "Dinner was lovely..." "Who cooks?" "Neither of us" "You don't cook?" "I used to..." "I used to cook almost everyday... but I haven't in the last 8 years" "Who cooked today?" " Oh, this was ordered..." "You ordered all that!" "If you want to sleep, please go ahead..." "I am comfortable" "No... that would hardly be polite" "No" " I mean, I'm ok" "I'll read a book" "Are you going to read?" "I read before going to sleep" "It's a very thin book" "Thin, is it?" "I see - you are all set" "Once you are through with these, I have more" "It won't come off" "Why don't you have a shower?" "Shower?" "But I had one in the morning..." "A clean smelling man is a nice man" "Not a sweaty man?" "You won't have one?" " I don't sweat!" "After that will you want me?" "We'll see..." "I had left a bath robe for you..." "You are kind of shy, aren't you?" "Who, me?" "Shy?" "Not at all" "I like shy guys..." "In that case, maybe I'm a little shy!" "Come here and give me a kiss" "What?" "Too many cigarettes can kill you" "What are you playing?" "Patience..." "You are very strange" "Why?" "Playing cards in the middle of the night" "Well, you are not playing with me..." "Sorry..." "I didn't mean that..." "Don't you feel jealous?" "No" " Not anymore" "Tell you the truth?" "Just a little..." "So, then?" "Then... nothing..." "A deal is a deal..." "You are really strange" "You also made a deal, didn't you?" "That's why you are here" "My deal is very different from yours" "Good morning!" "Welcome to flight 9W411, sir" "Is this flight going to Coimbatore?" "No sir, Singapore..." "Seat number, sir?" "1" " A" "Follow me" "Someone pushes me from behind!" "Then?" "Then... the train leaves the station..." "Chug... chug... chug... chug and I?" "You are a passenger..." "W.T." " Without ticket... and I am the ticket collector..." "TC" "Ticket... ticket..." "Take it..." "Take it..." "Ticket..." "Take it please..." "Take what?" "Whatever you want..." "But you don't have a ticket, right?" "You want ticket?" "I'm the TC, right?" "You are an idiot!" "Did you see this one?" "She had such short hair?" " That was 6 years ago... 6 years!" "You know each other for that long?" "8 years. 4 years of marriage and 4 years of romance..." "Romance?" "She looks so beautiful..." "You must really love her a lot..." "Yeah" "How time flies..." "If I was to die... he won't even remember my face" "You don't forget so easily... specially, a face like yours" "What's the time?" "It's 12:30..." "I need some water..." "Its in the kitchen... should I bring it?" "What's wrong?" "You knock on the door..." "I'll say, "come in"..." "When you come in, I'll say, "What's this?" "Where is the tray?"" ""Is this any room service?" "Bring the drink over here!"" "But remember, this is a very BIG hotel..." "I'm a very BIG client..." "I leave you a BIG tip... and your mother has a BIG illness" "You are so funny!" "Come in!" "You shouldn't have gone in there" "I had to give him his medicine." "I thought maybe..." "They've been locked in there for 2 hours." "Did you think they were chatting?" "We are talking, aren't we?" "Well, he hasn't come here to talk..." "I'm the idiot!" "Everybody warned me about him..." "My father, my friends..." "He's a selfish bastard, you know!" "Why is he doing this?" "I'm sorry" "Why are you sorry?" "On his behalf..." "He can apologize for himself..." "We are all a little selfish, I guess..." "Not so much that you stop caring" "You shouldn't have gone to their room" "Why not?" "Why did he marry me, if I can't even go into his room?" "Please calm down!" " I don't want to calm down" "These are my eyes, my tears... and I want to cry, okay?" "I thought you had consented to this..." "I did..." "But can't I change my mind?" "You can change your mind..." "Not his" "Why couldn't he change his mind?" "Are we human beings or animals?" "You are with me but you're still looking at your wife's pictures" "But he forgets me though I've not yet left this place" "I don't exist" "What are you doing?" "I don't want you to see me..." "I'm also shy..." "We can switch off the lights..." "But I want to see you..." "Not too tight?" "What are you doing now?" "Keep guessing" "I'm sure whatever it is... its something I'm dying to see..." "Could be..." "No cheating..." "Otherwise, I'll tie your hands as well..." "I couldn't breathe..." "Breathe through your nose..." "I'm unable to breathe if I can't see..." "Your top?" "May I touch you now?" "It feels good..." " It feels really good..." "I could do this for hours..." "Except that it would be a waste of time..." "Kalpana, you are very different..." "You know what you want..." " A little lower... and you know how to get it" "With you - what you see is what you get" "Except that I can't see too much right now..." "I had great fun tonight." "We played so many games that I feel like a sports man" "You know, you really have the courage to be yourself." "You are really free" "Kalpana, people like you are rare 99% of people in this world are sleeping..." "Snoring... you know what I mean?" "Kalpana... are you listening?" "Kalpana, you are sleeping!" "Come on you're supposed to want me!" "Some coffee?" "No thanks." "Its late" " We should be going" "Please tell Kalpana, when I was 12, ...I saw a dead camel..." "I'd really cried" "I lied about it at the dining table..." "I'll tell her." "She'll be very happy" "It's really late..." "Did you get some sleep?" "Why are you looking at me like that?" "It's a simple question..." "What were you talking about all night?" "What did you do all night?" "Why did you bring me here?" "To..." "What!" "?" "What did you just say?" "You mean... you... did it?" "Isn't that what you wanted?" "Superb!" "You go and do it and you tell me you did it for me!" "Yes!" "I did it for you!" "Hypocrite" "What did you just say?" " Hypocrite!" "Malti, shut up... shut up... okay!" "I don't believe this!" "Malti, how could you!" "Please stop over reacting!" "Over reacting?" "I am over reacting?" "I am over reacting?" "You did it with that bastard, and I am over reacting!" "What were you doing?" "Meditating?" "We just played some stupid games." "Then we slept, ok?" "Because I love you!" "You want me to believe that?" "We didn't do anything" " She fell asleep..." "I saw you!" "It was just a bloody game!" "She fell asleep after that..." "Convenient lie!" "You think I am lying?" "116a." "Call her and ask her right now!" "Was this my idea?" "You pushed me into this whole fucking thing!" "You are lying to me, right?" "You are lying... just to get back at me, right?" "Didn't you say there would be no guilt... no hurt..." "Yes I did." "Are you going to crucify me now?" "I knew this would happen..." "I just knew it!" "It's always my fault!" "It's not your fault, Malti, its my fault " "It's my fault that I trusted you!" "No..." "I trusted you!" "I told you not to do this..." "But do you ever listen?" "It was your bloody idea and now you're making a scene!" "My idea!" "So hit me on the head with it!" "It was my idea but I didn't do anything!" "Because she fell asleep!" "You could have also slept!" "Use your bloody head..." "Don't kick the car!" "I will, I'll do what I want!" "It's my car!" " It's my car too..." "I've been paying the installments for 3 years!" "So what?" "I made the down payment!" "Take your bloody down payment!" "You're the perfect wife!" "You're the saint." "I am the one who is full of shit!" "It's because you fell sick..." "The doctors told me not to give you stress..." "Now drag the doctors into it!" "It's everybody's fault - but not yours!" "Blame the whole damned world for it!" "You can never be wrong" "What are you doing now?" "Don't you want to pick Avi?" "What am I doing?" "I am making tea, do you want some?"