"Today, on 5 November I start with my report." "I will write everything as accurate as I am able." "But I do not even Weir, if today really the 5th November." "In the course of the past winter have come to me missing a few days." "Even the week I can not say." "but I think this is not very important." "I am dependent on sparse notes." "Sparse, because I never reckoned to write this report, and I fear that in my memory is much different from what I experienced it." "This lack adheres well to all reports." "I do not write for the joy of writing." "It has just so happened I have to write, if I do not want to lose his mind." "It's no one there, could think of and care for me." "I'm all alone, and I must try the long dark winter months to survive." "I have taken this task upon me, because it will save you from me to stare into the twilight and to fear me." "Because I fear." "From all sides the fear creeps up to me, and I do not want to wait until they reached me and overwhelmed." "I will write until it gets dark." "And this new unfamiliar work to make my tired head, empty and sleepy." "In the morning I will not fear." "Only the long dusky afternoons." "I write on the back of old calendars business and on aged paper." "The paper comes from Hugo Rüttlinger, groren a collector and hypochondriac." "Hugo was supposed to this report begin for if his acquisitiveness and hypochondria not been, I Säre not be here today." "I probably would no longer alive." "until about three clock we reached the cabin." "After a snack, Hugo was just starting to doze," "Louise suggested before him, with it another go into Do_." "Come on!" "We did not stay long, We go tomorrow very early in the hunt." "The car key is inserted if you meet wills t." "Come on!" " Yes." "Where is it lynx?" "Lynx?" "The dog is there!" "The stupid cattle dog does not follow, yes." "Lynx?" "Lynx, come on!" "go nicely with fur." "Come on, Lynx!" "You go in fur!" " Do not be so strict." "Lynx, if you do not go with Fu_, you stay up here." "Go back!" "Go!" "Go!" "At nine clock, I decided to to go to bed." "I locked the door and took the key with me to my room." "Well, lynx?" "What's going on?" "The two had to be left in Do_." "I wondered very much about it." "Hugo loathed the short inn beds." "And he would never been so ruthlessly, leave me alone overnight." "Then I made with Lynx on the way to Do_." "I could not explain, what had happened." "I hardly noticed how the canyon was cool and moist, because I was pondering about what had become of the Rüttlingers." "Maybe Hugo had suffered a heart attack." "As it happens with hypochondriacs, we had its states no longer taken seriously." "I quickened my steps and sent ahead lynx." "I had not thought of my hiking boots and stumbled awkwardly the scha_en stones behind him." "Lynx!" "Lynx?" "Lynx?" "Lynx, what is it?" "What did you do?" "Did you hurt yourself?" "Have you bitten your tongue?" "Lynx come!" "Come on!" "Lynx, what is it?" "Come on!" "Then I heard loud knocking and looked at me before I begri_, that it was my own heartbeat, the blasting in my ears." "My heart had been feared, before I knew it." "Hesitantly, I try it again." "And again rested my hand such as a window on the disk." "Suddenly I realized what I subconsciously the whole time might have tortured that the road was completely empty." "Irgendjemand had but have long sounded the alarm." "It would have been natural the Do_leute were curious accumulated in front of the wall." "Even if none of them the wall had discovered but had Hugo and Louise gestoKen be on it." "Was that not a single person to see seemed even more puzzling than the wall." "I was still three times and convinced me from that here, three feet in front of me really something invisible, Smooth, Cool, was which prevented me from going on." "I thought of an illusion, but I knew that it was nothing of the kind." "I had my lighter reconciled with a little craziness as with the terrible, invisible thing." "The first little farmstead really just a Keusch'e, was just around the next bend." "Finally I could see the Chaste." "She lay very still in the sunlight." "A peaceful, familiar picture." "Sorry!" "Sorry, I..." "Come lynx." "Come on!" "We were caught in a bad situation, Lynx and I, and we did not at that time, how bad it was." "But we were not completely lost, because there were two." "It just could not be true, Such things simply did not happen." "And if it happened but, not in a small Do_ in the mountains, not in Upper Austria and not in Europe." "I Weik, how ridiculous this idea was but since then I thought exactly I will not hide it." "I woke up at six clock, as the birds sing lifted." "Although I had hardly moved me Lynx knew that I was awake, and came to my bed begrüRen to me.!" "Suddenly it seemed to me quite impossible this fine day in May to survive." "At the same time I knew I had to survive it and that for me was no escape route." "I had to keep very quiet and it simply survive." "It was not even the first day of my Life, I had to survive." "The less I resisted, it would be more bearable." "I do not remember, what I did that morning." "Maybe were the following hours so bad that I had forgotten." "Maybe I spent it in only one Type anesthesia." "I do not remember." "I only re-emerged against two clock in the afternoon, when I was using lynx went through the gorge." "This time I was better equipped." "Also Hugo binoculars I had it." "If the man at the well was dead, and because I could no longer doubt, had to be dead all the people in the valley, and not just the people." "Everything was alive." "If that was the death, he came very quickly and smoothly, in an almost loving way." "Perhaps it would have been wiser to go with Hugo and Louise into Do_." "Lynx!" "What's going on?" "Lynx?" "Here, Lynx!" "Lynx!" "Comm" "Yes, come on." "In the meantime had become clear to me that this cow indeed a blessing but also a groRe load was." "Thus, an animal wants fed and milked and are calling for a sedentary Lord." "I was the owner and the prisoner of a cow." "Of course, I also thought by the cow." "When I was very lucky, they expected a calf." "But it I du_te not leave me." "I could only ho_en, my cow 'll give milk as long as possible." "Again and yet I thought of my situation as a temporary state or at least tried to do so." "I thought of a name for my cow and called her Bella." "Actually, they would have no name needed." "She was the only cow in the forest." "Perhaps the only cow in the country." "Until tomorrow, Bella." "Ten days had passed, and nothing had changed in my situation." "For ten days I had to work stunned, but the wall was still there, and no one had come to get me." "There was nothing left for me, as I to finally face reality." "I could kill me or try to me to dig under the wall, which is probably only a toilsome Would have been kind of suicide." "And of course I could stay here and try to stay alive." "To think seriously about suicide, I was not young enough." "Mainly kept me the thought of lynx and Bella on it." "Thanks to Hugo's welfare I Besak inventories, the rich want the summer, a home, Wood for life and a cow." "I decided I also found wind the watch every day and swabbed one days from the calendar." "This seemed to me very important." "I clung to the almost scanty remains of human order." "WEIR I do not know why I'm doing this." "It is almost an inner compulsion, that drives me." "Maybe I'm afraid if I could otherwise" "I would slowly stop to be human, and would soon be dirty crawl about and smelly and unintelligible sounds ausstoRen." "Not that I feared an animal to be, that would not be very bad." "But a man can never be an animal," "He rushes over to the animal into an abyss." "I do not want my zustöRt this." "In recent times I have just before the gröRte fear." "And this fear I can write my report." "On 30 May, rained all day a warm, fertile rain, which forced me to stay in the hut, if I did not want to be soaked." "That evening the cat came to my house." "So we were four." "The cow, the cat, lynx and me." "Lynx was closest to me." "He soon became not only my dog, but my friend." "My only friend in a world of trouble and loneliness." "If yes good lynx." "Although I was by Bella confined to his cabin, but I wanted to try me a little look around the area." "I remembered a way to the an elevated hunting cabin led, and from there down in the opposite valley." "I wanted to go there." "Lynx!" "In fur!" "Wait, Lynx!" "Now I had the valleys, I could reach, without staying away for days, e_orscht." "I was able to ascend to the pasture and from there the land survey," "But further into the mountain range I could not dare me." "Of course, you would find me, if there were no wall over there." "Yes, I had to say, that one would have to find me long ago." "I was calm at home sit and wait." "But again and again I felt driven me to itself against something to take the uncertainty." "Against a clock noon I rested myself." "The forest was dunstend in the midday sun, and warm scent clouds rose on your socks to me." "It was now much quieter as the moon, as would the forest sleeping paralyzed under the yellow sun." "A bird of prey pulled up in his blue circles." "Lynx sleeping with twitching ears, and the silence groRe sank like a bell about me." "I wish always sit here dü_en, at elevated temperature, in the light, fueren to the dog and the circling birds at the head." "When I had to go, I did it with deep regret, and slowly I venNandelte me go back to the only creature did not belong, into a man, the kinky thoughts harbored the branches buckled with his clumsy shoes" "and the bloody business hunting operation." "It strikes me that I I never stated in my calendar" "When I shot a deer." "Now, I remember also that I was simply contrary to write it." "It was enough already, I had to do it." "I called the little cat pearl, Weir and because she was so rosy." "In a few weeks I realized that pearl, the zausige little thing, in Begri_ was to transform into a beauty." "Pearl was a small miracle" "But even then I knew that she was born in the wrong place." "A long-haired, middle wei_e cat in the forest is doomed to early death." "She had no chance." "Maybe I had it therefore so much." "When I think back to the first summer, rather, it is of concern overshadowed by my animals as from my own desperate situation." "The disaster had me removed a groRe responsibility and without that I noticed it immediately, a new burden imposed." "When I finally got the situation could see," "I was no longer able anything to change it." "I do not think that my behavior Weakness or sentimentality arose." "I just followed a drive, was implanted in me, and I could not fight if I did not want to destroy yourself." "I do not Weir, what should it be dishonorable, like other animals to carry the load imposed, and ultimately like any animal to die." "I Weir, which is not even honor." "Are born and die is not honorable." "It happens to every creature and also means nothing." "On 20 July I started with the hay." "I took three weeks reap the meadow." "It was not only the changing weather to blame but my clumsiness and physical weakness." "I suffered a severe attack discouragement and e_asste for the first time clearly which blow had hit me." "I do not WEIR, what would have happened I would have the responsibility not forced for my animals to the necessary things to do." "I remember very reluctant at this time." "It took 14 days to get me finally able to rouse again and began to live again." "The autumn was always the favorite season if I am physically never felt very comfortable." "During the day I was tired and still be monitored." "At night I lay for hours in a troubled doze and dreamed confused and livelier than usual" "The fall of disease spared me not even in the woods." "But I could hardly allow me, they came to mitigated." "Maybe I did not have time they especially observed." "Lynx was very exhilarated and happy, but a stranger would probably noticed no difference." "He was almost always cheerful." "I never saw him more than three minutes grumpy seen." "He could simply call, to be happy, do not resist." "And life in the forest was a constant lure for him." "Sun, snow, wind, rain, everything was a cause for excitement." "I was next to Lynx never long remain sad." "It was almost embarrassing how happy it made him to be with me." "Perhaps the man owes his GröRenwahn the dog." "Sometimes even I imagined, it would have to be something special to me, if lynx at my sight joy almost overturned." "Of course, never was special to me." "Lynx was like all dogs simply addicted people." "Yes, you're my lynx." "Yes." "'re A good dog." "Sometimes when I'm alone now 'm traveling in wintry forest" "I speak as before to lynx." "I do not Weir, that I do, to me something startles and I fall silent." "I turn my head and catch sight of the glimmer of a reddish brown coat." "But the path is empty, bare shrubs and wet stones." "It does not surprise me that I still hear the branches crackle behind me under the light tread of his soles." "Where else should his little dog soul haunted as on my track?" "It's a friendly ghost, and I do not fear him." "Lynx, nice, good dog, my dog." "Probably only makes my poor head the sound of your footsteps, the glimmer of your coat." "As long as I exist, you'll be my trail ve_olgen, hungry and yearning, like myself hungry and yearning invisible traces ve_olge." "We will never ask both our game." "On 27 October fell the first snow." "The onset of winter lasted only a few days." "After that came the hair and licked the young snow from the mountains." "It was uncomfortably warm, and the wind blew night and day snarling at the little house." "I slept badly and listened to the roaring of the stags, in the rutting season rose from the heights." "Both cats went out there in the warm, damp forest." "I lay awake and was worried about pearl." "The roaring of the stags sounded sad, threatening and sometimes almost desperate." "I only hoped the hair would not take too long and finally winter Us bring a little peace." "The hair dryer did really only three days, long enough to kill pearl." "Pearl was buried, and the hair dryer died overnight, as if he had e_üllt his task." "I have not forgotten pearl." "LHR death was the first loss I suffered in the forest." "Once, it must have been the first winter," "I saw a fox standing by the stream." "I could sheer it." "I carried the gun with me." "But I did not." "Pearl died because one of their Vo_ahren an Angora cat was bred on." "It was intended from the beginning as a victim." "Should I help punish the beautiful vivid fox?" "Pearl was wide_ahren an injustice." "But this injustice was also done to their victims." "Should I pass it on to the fox?" "The only creature in the woods that really Can do right or wrong, I am." "And only I can practice mercy." "Sometimes I wish this burden the decision would be not to me." "But I'm a man." "And I can just think and act like a man." "Of which will free me until death." "When I think of winter, I always see Weir on the river are tired fox." "A lonely, adult animal, his is the path laid down." "It is to me then, as mean this something important for me." "As it stands only as a sign for something else." "But I can not recognize its meaning." "Sun" "Yes, my Bella." "Yes, beautifully's you" "Bella had again become rounded, but I still could not know whether they expected a calf." "After all, what we have experienced together," "Bella has become more than my cow a poor, patient sister, which it contributes with more dignity than I lot." "In the night I heard the wood crack in the cold." "I had refilled strong, but I shivered and could not sleep." "Sometimes a crackling log on and went out again, and I felt sick." "I knew it was them, I had to kill again and again." "I imagined what a person may feel, the killing is fun." "I did not succeed." "The hairs stood on end on my arms, and my mouth was dry in disgust." "You had to be born, probably." "I was able to bring me there, to do it as quickly as possible and sent but I would never get used." "Long I lay awake in the roaring darkness and thought of the little heart," "the above me in the chamber froze into a block of ice." "After the cold broke groren a wave humid, warmer air inside." "Bella was restless, and I had ten times a day to see her." "At 11 January Bella was bleeding a little." "It was after the evening feeding, and I decided to I set up for the night in the barn." "Come on, Bella!" "Hard!" "hard!" "Come on, Bella, come on!" "So much had occurred in recent times." "Pearl had been killed, a little bull was born into the world," "Deer were e_roren, and the varmints had a fat winter." "I myself had a lot of excitement behind me, and now I was tired." "And when I closed my eyes, I saw snow mountains on the horizon," "Weire flakes, which sank on my face," ", in a large, bright silence." "There were no thoughts, no memories, only the groRe, silent light snow." "I knew that this idea of was a lonely man dangerous but I could not muster the strength to me to resist." "Lynx Lier me not long in peace." "Again and again he came and bull at me with his nose." "I sighed and stood up and went to my daily work." "Now Lynx is not more my friend and guardian." "And the desire in the Weire, enter into painful silence, is sometimes of very large." "I must himself pay attention to me be strict and when I was there earlier." "Lynx was my sixth sense." "Since he is dead, I feel like an amputee." "Something is missing and I will always miss you." "It's not just that I him at hunting and Tracing miss and hours must be taken nachklettern a game." "That alone is not." "The worst thing is that I without lynx really feel alone." "The question of emigration to the alp busied myself from day to day." "The Company seemed terribly cumbersome, even if I only take the bare essentials and primitively wanted to dwell on the mountain." "After I realized that I the move had already decided when I saw the green meadows of Alp had seen for the first time," "I was quiet." "And on 25 May came the day of departure from the cabin." "The road was very well received, but it still took four hours to our strange procession reached the pasture." "It was about noon." "I was completely exhausted." "Less of the physical effort as the nervous tension." "Something new started." "I did not know which would bring it to me." "But my homesickness and concern Zukun_ slowly gave way to the mine." "I began to see the beautiful pasture, strange and dangerous." "But like everything foreign full of secret allurements." "It was a strange feeling unimpeded by mountains and Bäu'men a wide area to overlook." "And it was not immediately pleasant and liberating." "My eyes had to get used to the length, after a year, I had spent in the narrow valley." "While I was on the mountain, I made no notes." "While I dutifully stroked every day from the calendar, but I was not even wearing so important events such as a hay crop." "The memory of this time has remained fresh, and it is not hard for me, write about it." "The summer scent, the thundershower and the star-sparkling evenings I will never forget." "For the first time in my life I was appeased." "Not satisfied or happy, but appeased." "It was as if a hand groRe stand still in my mind the clock." "Sometimes confuse my thoughts, and it is, as a start to the forest to beat me roots and with my brain his old, eternal thoughts to think." "Back then, in the second summer, it was not yet come so far with me." "The boundaries were strictly drawn." "It is difficult for me, when writing my earlier and my new I tell them apart." "The new me, of which I am not sure that it does not slow is absorbed by a gröKeren We." "But even then pioneered the transformation itself." "The pasture was to blame." "It was almost impossible in the buzzing silence of the meadow under the sky gro_en a single, I secreted to stay." "A small, blind, stubborn life, did not want to insert the groRe in the community." "Once it had been my pride and joy, to be such a life." "But on the mountain, it suddenly seemed to me very pathetic and ridiculous." "An inflated nothing." "On 16 October since I was back from the pasture," "I made again regelmäRig notes." "Almost throughout October the weather was beautiful." "but now I took the time cheap and doubled my wood stock." "All Saints was suddenly warm, and I knew that this is only the winter could initiate." "On 1 O. December I find a strange note:" "" Time goes by so fast. "" "I do not remember they have written." "I do not Weir, what is on that 1 O. Occurred in December" "" Time goes by so fast. "" "Then passed the time really very fast?" "I can not remember and can not report." "It's not true." "Time I just seemed to pass quickly." "I believe the time is very still, and I move in it." "Sometimes slow and sometimes at breakneck speed." "I am doing something that drive things forward, and I forget the time." "And then, suddenly, is it back to me." "I'll have to get used to it." "Their indifference and omnipresence." "Since Lynx dead, I feel that clear." "I'm sitting at the table, and time stands still." "I can not see them, not smell or hear, but she surrounds me on all sides." "Their silence and stillness is horrible." "In fact, these thoughts without meaning." "I regret the animals and the people because they unasked gewo_en be in this life." "Maybe people are regrettable because they have just as much sense, to guard against the natural course of things to fight." "She did evil and despair make and unlovable." "It would have been possible to live differently." "There is no rational impulse as love." "It makes the lover and the beloved life more bearable." "Only, we would to recognize in time, that this was our only option." "Our only hope for a better life." "For an infinite army of the dead is the only possibility of the human missed forever." "Time and again I have to think about it." "I can not understand why we had to take the wrong path." "I'm just weir that it is too late." "In this autumn has emerged a Weike crow." "You always flies a piece behind the other and can be alone on a tree down, to avoid their companions." "I do not understand, why the other crows do not like." "For me it is a particularly beautiful bird." "But for their fellow it is abominable." "A sad absurdity, it does not give dü_te." "Weire a crow." "They remain seated, until the groRe swarm departed, and then I'll bring her a little food." "It can not know why is it out token." "She knows no other life." "Again and they will be geared motors and so alone, she fears that fewer people than their black brothers." "Every day I wait Weike the crow and they curl." "And she looks at me attentively from their reddish eyes." "I can do very little for them." "My waste may extend a Life that should not be extended." "But I want the Weike Crow lives, and sometimes I dream that there is a second are in the forest and the two will find each other." "I do not believe I only wish it very much." "Gradually, I began to get me out of my past and grow into a new order." "Until the weather really improved, it had become in May" "Two years had passed in the forest, and it occurred to me" "I almost never thought of that they would find me eventually." "I decided to break up soon to the pasture." "In early June I was finally ready I got used to the pasture." "But it was never more as last year." "That first summer on the mountain was gone forever." "I did not want a weaker repetition and held me back on purpose before, the old magic to ve_allen again." "But the Alm made it easy for me." "She had closed before me and showed a strange face." "I often Sar as a year ago the bank and looked out over the meadow." "She was no different than it was then and they smelled just Suer but I never got in the old admiration of it." "I took no more trips groKen, for I had last summer my limits drawn." "It had become indifferent to me, where the wall was." "In that summer I vergaR all that Lynx was a dog and I a man." "I knew it, but it had separating each meaning lost." "Lynx also had changed." "Since I am so much concerned with him he was quiet and did not seem to worry constantly," "I could as soon as he departed five minutes to dissolve into thin air." "When I think about it today, I believe that this is the only fear groRe his dog's life was:" "to be left alone." "I had learned a lot and understood almost every one of his movements and sounds." "Now finally prevailed between us a tacit understanding." "I wore Lynx to the hut and laid him on the bench." "He was suddenly become small and light." "And then I heard as if from afar Bella's roar." "She was au_er in fear." "I tried to calm her." "Only then I noticed the man again." "I knew that he had to be dead." "He had been such a gro_es goal I could not have ve_ehlen him." "I was glad that he was dead." "It would have found it difficult having to kill an injured man." "And the life I would have him but can not leave." "Or is it?" "I do not Weir." "I did not want him leave it on the lawn." "Not next to the dead bull and the innocent grass." "So I grabbed him by the legs and dragged him to the lookout point." "Where the rocks steeply into the scree and rhododendrons bloom in June, lier I roll it down." "For Lynx I picked up on the evening of a grave." "I made the deep pit, legte lynx in, covered him with earth and stood firmly above the lawn." "And then I was very tired." "As tired as never before." "Then I sat down on the bench and waited for the long night." "It was a bright starry night, and the wind fell down on the cold rock." "But I was colder than the wind and did not feel cold." "At first light I got up verlie_ with Bella and the pasture" "The next day I took my usual work again." "The month of October came, and I harvested potatoes and fruit" "The stray had to be mowed, but that lasted only a week." "Clusively and I gave, physically beaten and broken, my pointless to escape and introduced me to my thoughts." "It came out like nothing." "I want to know why the strange man who killed my animals." "I'll never e_ahren, and maybe it's better that way." "Now I am completely calm." "I see a little bit further." "I see that this is not yet the end." "Everything goes on." "Taurus, pearl and lynx there never will be again." "But something new is approaching, and I can not escape myself to him." "The memory the sorrow and the fear will remain and the hard work as long as I live." "Today, 25 February I finish my report." "It is still not a piece of paper left." "It is now about five clock in the evening and already so bright" "I can write without lamp." "The crows have risen screaming and circling above the forest." "If they are no longer visible," "I will go into the clearing and the Crow Weire feed." "You already waiting for me."