"SUBTITLE by RVIII" "Think you know it?" "Yes, sir." "Name the five Great Lakes." "Name one." "Lake, uh— Lake Huron?" "That's a boy, Joe!" "If you run, you'll catch up with the others." "Happy Easter." "Happy Easter, sir!" "Ed, are you leaving now?" "Have to stop at LaPorte's office." "Then I'm leaving." "Why?" "Can you give me a push?" "My car is stalled." "I can't." "My wife has our car today." " Why don't you get a new car, Pat?" " I wish I could." "Maybe Wally can give you a push." "Wally?" " You're not going downtown, are you?" " I wasn't planning to." "I'll be lucky to get home." "Wally, can you give my car a push?" " Yeah, sure, if you can wait a few minutes." " I'm parked right next to yours." " Yeah." " Have a nice vacation, Ed." " Try and get some rest." " Thanks, Pat." "I'd give her a push myself, only Lou has our car today and I've got to get downtown." " Say, you're coming tonight, aren't you?" " Sure." " Who you bringing?" " Just myself." "Why don't you bring Pat?" "She's nice." "Yeah, I just might." "How long are you gonna be stuck here?" "May I?" "Couple of hours at least, unless you want to take on those parents for me." "I can't." "If you wanna bring those reports over tonight, I'll get them cleaned up for you tomorrow." "Hello, darling." "I'm stuck here at school again." "No, it's a meeting with a couple of board members." "I'm sorry I didn't let you know sooner." "No, I won't forget." "So long." "Why can't you tell your wife about your job with the cab company?" " She'd think it isn't good enough for me." " Well, it isn't." " Pays the bills." " Fine thing... as good a teacher as you are has to be working on the side." "Let me have the bus fare, will you." "I'll give it back to you tonight." " What time are we expected?" " Lou said about... 7:30?" "7:30." "Thank you, Bob." " Would you like to come in now, ladies?" " Yes." "Hey!" "Hey, Voice!" "Hiya, Voice." "Hey, try to keep me in the Ridgemont district today, will ya?" "Number 12." " Okay, 12, I'll remember." " Good." "Thanks." "Hey, Voice, keep me Central, will ya?" " Remember, I'm 36, Central." " How are you doing on the horses?" "Hey, that's what I mean." "Don't give me any runs to the track." "If I stay there, I bet." "If I bet, I lose." "So it's your fault." " Okay, 36." "Central." " Thanks, Voice." "I got a budget, you know." "Hey, you okay?" "Yeah, I'm— I'm all right." " Hi." " Hi, Ed." " Want some coffee?" " Thanks." " Busy?" " So-so." "Yellow Cab." "1418 King Street?" "Right away." "Yellow Cab." "216 West Avenue North?" "Race track?" "Hi, Dad!" "Hi, Son." "Bring me anything?" "Trout season opens tomorrow." "Now, what did I forget?" "I know, Mr. Daniels." "It just makes it difficult for tonight, that's all." "Yes." "All right." " You bring the olives?" " Ohh!" " I — I'll go right out." " No, never mind." " The water heater's off again." " Was that Daniels you were talking to?" "Yes." "He said he'd be over to fix it in the morning." "What kept you so long?" "You know we're having company tonight." "I called you, dear." "Couple of members of the school board." " Can I help?" " No." "The members of the board seem to be unusually active this year, don't they?" "Yee-haw!" " Hmm." " Well, are we going fishin'?" " Doesn't this stuff bore you?" " No." " It's always the same story." " I know." "Everybody's going fishin'." "Paul and his dad are." " Everybody!" " I can't help that." " I have work to do." " But vacation started today." " Have you practiced your music?" " Not yet." "Well, why don't you do that while I help your mother." " Wally and the LaPortes are coming over tonight." " Can I stay up late?" "We'll see." "Collect all this junk." "How many are coming, Lou?" "The LaPortes, the Joneses and Wally, so far." "But we need one more if we're going to play two tables." "Is Wally bringing anyone?" "I asked him to bring Pat Wade." "I thought she only played hearts." "I think she plays bridge." "Two tables, huh?" "Well, it isn't simply a matter of choosing between having a baby or buying a vacuum cleaner." " Well, at least it shouldn't... be." " Well, you don't have a child with asthma." "I don't care much the doctor says it's psychosomatic." "As far as I'm concerned it's the dust, and we need a new vacuum cleaner." "Seven spades, doubled and redoubled." " Do you have some kind of pain, Ed?" " Nothing's wrong." " The game's over." " That's good." "I only had them because of you, and you spend half the evening in here." "Why don't you help them find their coats." "I'll be right in." "Ed —" " There you go." " Tell me, Bob." "Why is it necessary for you and Ed to have board meetings every other afternoon?" "Just a couple of board members today, Lou." "I think they should leave you alone for a while." "You do enough." " This is a new poster, isn't it, Ed?" " Yes, it is." " We have to run." "Good night." " Good night, everybody!" "Thanks for everything!" "Remember the days when we used to resent vacations because they interrupted our work?" "Not me, Ed." " Good night, Lou." " You've never looked more beautiful, Vi." "Thanks, Lou." "It's because I'm having the baby." " Good night, Vi." " Good night, Ed." " See you tomorrow, Ed." " Good night." " Thanks again, Lou." " Good-bye, Pat." " Good night, Pat." " Good night, Ed." "Trout season opens tomorrow." "What do you say you, Lou, Richie and I get a couple of sleeping bags, take off for a few days?" " Maybe next weekend." " Okay." "Good night, Ed." " Good night, Wally." " Good night." "Leave them, honey." "All right." "Wouldn't it be great for both of us to really get away one of these days?" "Mm-hmm." " You like the Joneses?" " They're all right." " I think she's very nice." " Who?" "Mrs. Jones." "She gripes too much." "I think they're both dull." " You think they're what?" " Dull!" "So are we." " What did you say?" " So are we." "You are, I am." "Let's face it — we're dull." "Have you found somebody who isn't?" "What do you mean by that?" "There was no board meeting." "Where were you?" "I told you." "What did you think I was doing?" "You can't expect me to figure that out." "I'm supposed to be dull." "Remember?" "I said we all are." "Tell me one thing that was said or done by anyone here tonight... that was funny, startling, imaginative —" "Ed?" "Ed?" "Oh, Ed." "Oh, Richie, Richie, get Dr. Norton on the phone." " What's his phone number?" " Oh, it's —" "It's in the book right next to the phone." "Hurry, darling." "And call Uncle Wally too." "Oh, Ed." "Oh, Ed." "You should've told me about this before, Ed." "I thought I was just overly tired." "It isn't as if the pain was always in the same place." "It's the first time I've blacked out." "And it's been going on for six months." "More or less." " You wanna go with me?" " No, Doctor, I'll take him in our car." " All right." "I'll go on ahead." " Okay." "I'll see you there later." "Did he tell you anything I should know?" "He doesn't know anything yet." " Well, it can't be very serious then." " No." "Excuse me." " Good night, Doctor." " Good night, Doctor." "Good night." "Good night, Richie." "Let's see if I've forgotten anything." "Your toothbrush, your pajamas — Oh, your slippers!" "I'll get them." "If a teacher has to be sick, he owes it to himself to be sick on school days and not on vacations." " Thanks for coming over, Wally." " Here, let me take that." "Since you're promoting yourself to breakfast in bed for a week, you might as well go in style." "Let's come in here for a minute." "You know, Richie, you're gonna be head man around here while I'm gone." "I want you to take good care of your mother." "I'll look out for her." "Don't you worry." "That's a boy." "Look at this thing." "It's like a stewed prune." " Get the bike pump." " Coming up." "I brung the needle valve." "Well, sit down, hold the ball and I'll "brung" some air into it." "Okay, brought." "Boy, I wish I would have been there when you won that game." "Third-string sub to hero in 20 seconds." "Real last-minute stuff." "You shouldn't kid about it, Dad." "You won the game for 'em." "Sure was the high school hero that day." "Here." "It's yours." "For me to keep in my room?" "No, outdoors." "Kick it around with the other kids." "Maybe they'll make you captain." "Mom, Dad just gave me his football!" "I'm gonna tell Uncle Wally!" "Don't look so grim." "I'm sorry." "I think I'm just very tired." "You know?" "Well, a few days rest won't hurt." "No, they... won't." "Ed!" "I'm all right now." " I'd better get going." " I'll get my coat." " Let Wally take me." " No!" "I don't want Richie seeing me in one of these spells or whatever they are." "Do this my way." "Please." "All right." "Oh, his slippers." "Ed!" "All right, Nurse." " Ready, Doctor." " Lights, please." "When I turn the lights out drink this, please, one swallow at a time." " What is it?" " Barium." "Don't swallow until I tell you to, please." " Ready, Doctor?" " Mm-hmm." "Swallow, please." " How's the view down there?" " Mm-hmm." " Hello, Doctor." " Have you two been introduced?" "I've taken all specimens, blood counts, tests, with the exception of the Brom sulphalien." "Oh, I'd say that constitutes an introduction." "How'd you sleep?" " Once in a while." " Hello, Dr. Ruric." "Doctor, I can't afford this private room." "I'm a schoolteacher, not a plumber." "I know, and if this takes longer than I expected —" "Longer?" "Well, at this point your symptoms could mean anything from arthritis to trichinosis." "That's why I've called in a specialist for a consultation." "This is Dr. Ruric of the college of medicine." "He's particularly interested in your symptoms." " Mr. Avery." " Glad to know you." " Have you prepared for examination?" " Yes, Doctor." " Another?" " Relax." "We'll really put you through the mill tomorrow." "Leucocytosis and indication of vascular spasm." "Hmm." " Biopsy?" " Yeah." "Ed, put your finger on one of the spots where the pain occurs." "No, we don't want to open you up." "How about an arm or a leg?" "This one here is a beaut." "Branch of the popliteal artery." " Take a section of the gastrocnemius?" " Mmm." "Yeah." "Easy, Ed." "We just want to take a sample of your calf muscle." "We'll wash up." "Turn over, please." "One more little piece of surgery, Ed." "It's called a sternal puncture." "Here we go again." "No, no!" "Sternum means breastbone." "Oh, sorry." "I did four years in the navy." " Can I see Mr. Avery now?" " Yes." "Room 61." " Will you tell Ed I'll be right in?" " Yes, Doctor." " Excuse me." " Excuse me." " Hiya, Voice." " Hi." "I had a fare right to the desk, so I'm lookin' in." "How are ya?" "I'm fine." " Sam, I'd like you to meet my wife." " How do you do?" " How do you do?" " They all miss ya down at the garage." "Tell them hello." "You're lookin' pretty good." " Who was that?" " He's a man I know." " He's a cabdriver." " Oh, I'd never have known." " What do you have to do with the garage?" " What do I have to do?" "Well, it's just a bunch of fellows I know." " Well, he said they missed you." " Guess they do." "Look, Ed, what's all this about?" "Have you been working at a garage?" "Yes." "Two or three afternoons a week." " After school?" " Yes." " Why didn't you let me know?" " Well —" "I had to make some extra money somehow." "Are you laughing at me?" "Oh, yes — Oh, Ed!" "Ed, I'm so small-minded." "I — I thought... you were having a big romance." " You did?" " Yes, I did." "Oh, it isn't funny!" "Oh, Ed, you're a wonderful, handsome man." "I like the idea of you being jealous." "Morning, Ed." " Morning." " Morning." "Well, what's the verdict?" "We don't have any secrets." "Not now." "So whatever you have to say —" "Well, the laboratory findings confirm Dr. Norton's original diagnosis." "There's a definite increase in the eosinophils." "Periarteritis nodosa, an extremely rare inflammation of the arteries." "You're the first case I've had." "Dr. Ruric has treated 10 or 12." "Well?" "The prognosis is poor." "How poor?" "The great majority of cases have proved fatal within a year after the first attack." "However, during the past year we have had some success with a new drug... but we are still experimenting with it." " A miracle drug?" " Some people think it is." "Well, why don't we find out for sure?" "Is that what you want me to say?" "It's called cortisone." "It's a hormone." "I'm sorry to have been so outspoken, Lou, but... if you'll think of the number of advances in the past few years... such as in the treatment of mastoiditis, typhoid and pneumonia... you have every reason to feel hopeful." "Ah, just the lady I was looking for." "A couple of forms here they'd like you to sign, Lou." "Do you mind doing it now?" "May I come back?" "Yes, of course, in a little while." "I'll be right here, darling." "Right here." " You think they're home already?" " No, or the car'd be out in front." "What, is this door locked?" "No, you just gotta know how." "Oh." "Now, don't let me forget these steaks, Richie." "Hand me the yogurt, the black strap molasses and the brewer's yeast." "Miracle drugs or no miracle drugs, we're gonna have to build your father up." "I want you to learn how to fix this and you make him drink it every morning." "That a boy." "Now —" "See, you take a half a jar of yogurt —" "Got it?" "Now you get a tablespoon full of molasses — black strap molasses." " Mom!" "Dad!" " Hey, hey." "Where's Dad?" "They wanted to keep him one more night just to be sure." "Hi, Wally!" " Hi." "The pains didn't start again, did they?" " Oh, no, no." "He feels just wonderful." " How much longer are they gonna keep him?" " Just tonight." "We'll go get him in the morning." " What's going on in the kitchen?" " They say when he can go back to work?" "Ed says he wants to go tomorrow." " Well, he oughta wait a couple of days." " I think so too." "Who are all these steaks for?" "Oh, they're mine." "Steaks every night?" "Well, a gym teacher has to keep in shape, you know." "Here, try this." " What is it?" " That's tiger's milk." "Go on, try it." "It'll really put hair on your chest." "What a day!" "I think we've worked out your proper cortisone dosage, Ed." "From now on you'll continue in tablet form, one every six hours." " Is that right, Doctor?" " That's right." "This is the greatest thing that's come our way since penicillin." "I want you back in the office a week from today for a checkup." "In the meantime, if you should notice any adverse symptoms —" "Doctor, a man as broke as I am can't afford any more symptoms." " Once in a while cortisone gets a little tricky." " It certainly does." "That's why even the slightest period of depression is important for us to know about." "Why should I be depressed?" "A week ago it looked as though I'd have maybe four or five months to live." "This morning I go back to work." " Your family's waiting for you downstairs." " Oh, fine, fine." "How long will I have to take these?" "I'm afraid indefinitely." "Oh." "I see." "Anything else?" "No." "You're all packed?" " I've been ready for hours." " Do you want these crossword puzzles?" "I've finished them all." "They make them too easy these days." "I'd better be going." " Thanks very much." " Not at all, Ed." "More than I can really say." "Good-bye, Nurse." " Ed, you forgot your pills." " Oh." "Now remember, one every six hours." "No more, no less." " I'll see you a week from today." " Right." "Well, here we are again — male schoolmarm." "Well, I'm funny that way — always proud to say I'm a schoolteacher's wife." "I tell you... when I came down into the hospital lobby and saw you and Richie again..." "I felt 10 feet tall." "You've always been 10 feet tall to me." "Now, in your own words... why did Cassius refer to Julius Caesar as a "colossus"?" "Will you take over Miss Wade's class?" "She hasn't come in yet." "Certainly." "Joe, will you take charge of the class while I'm gone, please?" "Yes, sir!" "Hey, Squirrel, in your own words... why did Cassius refer to Julius Caesar as a "colossus"?" " You holding up all right?" " Fine." "Time to take one." "They seem to be doing the trick." "We can arrange for a substitute for a couple of days, if you need it." "I wouldn't think of it." "Okay, settle down, all of you." "Into your seats." "Is he running on schedule?" "Nope." "Ten minutes late." " Better wash up, get ready for reading." " Yes, sir." " You like dogs?" " It's a cow." " A cow with five legs?" " It can stand better." "Time to wash up." "Say, that's a fine, uh... thunderstorm?" "This is a man." "He's just mad at his mother." "Oh, thanks, Ed, for taking over for me." "My car broke down just 10 minutes outside of town." "Should have known better than to take it." "You did get some rest, didn't you?" " Sure." " Children, get ready for reading." "You look wonderful." "Where did you get that dress?" "I had to have something to wear to the ladies forum." " Where'd you buy it?" " In the French room at Martin's." "Once every year I get carried away." " How do you feel?" " I feel fine, fine." "LaPorte wants to see you after school." "Naturally." " Thanks again, Ed, for taking over for me." " You're welcome." "No, I took one." "Hi, Mom!" "Wow!" "Dad's home!" "Oh, darling!" " How do you feel?" "How did it go?" " I feel great!" " What's been going on here?" " I've been baking a cake." "Mmm!" "All right, come on, both of you." "We're going out!" " Now?" "Where?" " Places." " I haven't even finished frosting the cake." " No arguments!" " Get your coats and hats!" " Well, Ed —" " Aw, come on, Dad." "Where are we going?" " Never mind." "Oh, Ed, what's come over you?" "Is it a surprise?" "You'll find out when we get there." "But, Ed, you won't even help me pick out a pair of stockings." "Don't quibble." "Big occasion." "This is so expensive." "I buy my things at Madame Mae's Frock Shop." "Madame Mae's Frock Shop doesn't cater to women with terrific curves." " Now, Ed, just this morning you —" " Now, let me handle this." "Well, as long as you're being so nice about twisting my arm." " How do we get a salesgirl here?" " Salesgirl?" "Please." "I think we wait until one of the passing Cleopatras —" " Oh, Miss, if you don't mind —" " Miss!" "Ed, I know you're feeling your oats, but an upper-crust sugar daddy never shouts." "This one does." "Miss!" "I beg your pardon." "We want to buy some clothes, if it isn't too much trouble." " Someone will be with you directly." " One moment, please." "You see, dear, my wife and I aren't used to places like this... so it's only fair to tell you that if we don't get a whole lot of high-class service, and in a hurry... there's likely to be a terribly embarrassing scene in this sanctum." "You know, dear?" "Vulgar shouting." " That'll fetch it." " I should think so." "You think it's becoming?" "Honey, it's you!" "I'm sorry, madam." "Just doesn't look good on her." "Oh, thank you, darling." "It's just absolutely the one." "Hold everything." "Now I'd like to see her in that." "Oh, Ed, what are you thinking of?" "All these expenses we're having." "Relax." "Everything's going to be all right." "Oh, dear, it's — it's heavenly." "But, Ed, I have no use for two like this." "Of course you do!" "From now on we'll be going out a lot." " Oh, Ed, be sensible." " Sensible?" "But I like it on you." " And anyway, who's paying for it?" " Please, not another." "One's enough!" "Lou, what's the matter with you?" "I bring you to a place like this, try to do something nice —" "Mr. Avery, you can come again." "Your wife's tired." "Okay." "Wrap it up." "Jacques Fath." "Christian Dior." "Any intelligent man with a reasonable amount of good taste could make out in this racket." "I feel exactly as if I were walking on cream puffs." "Now its your turn, young fella." "The best bike shop in town." " I can get it myself, Dad." " What's the matter with this family?" "Come on, Richie." "Three gears, hand brakes." "You know." "Gee!" "Mom, isn't Dad acting a little foolish?" "Oh, darling, your daddy's just excited." "It's his first day out of the hospital." "Signals!" "Nine, seven, four, three!" "That's a boy!" "Gotcha!" "Now let's take to the air." "Get down there." " Ready?" " Yeah." "Great!" "Perfect spiral!" "Good boy." "Now straight at me!" "That's it!" "Once more." "Okay, I'll be right back." "Hello?" "Yes, Bob." "Book on educational measurements?" "No." "No, I haven't read it." "When did you give it to me?" "Okay, I'll bring it in tomorrow." "Huh!" " Who was that?" " Bob LaPorte." "All right, right at me." "Come on." "Good boy!" "Oh!" "You kids are going to wreck something!" "Don't be silly!" "Where's that ball?" "Come on, throw me a pass!" "That's a boy." "Lou, how about bringing some sandwiches?" "You ate half the roast at dinner." "I'm the healthy type now!" " I'll get it." " I'll get it!" "Yep?" " Mr. Avery." "How are you feeling?" " Who is this?" " This is Frank at the cab company." " Oh." "Received a call from your doctor saying you'd be unable to work for a while." "Wondering when you're planning on coming back." "As a matter of fact, I'm not." "I'm planning something more in line with my profession." " You should have given us a little warning." " You could do me a favor though." "Get one of your drivers to wrap up the things in my locker and dump them off at my home." "Gunfire, Dramatic Orchestral Music]" "Okay, thanks." "Shouting, Music Continues]" " Turn that thing off!" "I hate to be a killjoy, but it's past Richie's bedtime." "Off]" " Aw, not yet." " Get going!" " Yes, sir." "Good night, sir." " Good night, Mom." " Good night, darling." "Ed, what's this new thing you've got lined up?" "Now, don't you start picking on me!" "Go on up, darling." "I'll get you a glass of warm milk, hmm?" "I know I've been sort of keyed up, you know." "I guess we've all been." "Maybe I'll go up and have a hot tub, soak for a while." "That's a good idea." "Oh, I've used up all the hot water." "That half-pint heater really has to be babied." "I'll order a big one tomorrow." "Why, Ed, we can't afford another thing this year." "Well, just fill a kettle." "All right." "One more kettle'll do." "You're not in the hospital now!" "I —" "I'm sorry, but I just —" "I mu— I must have been crazy." "Please — Please forgive me." "There's only one thing wrong... with both of us." "We've been away from each other too long." "Yes!" " Mommy!" " What's the matter, Richie?" "It's Daddy." "He's down in the den, and he's crying." "Go back to bed, darling." "Your daddy's been through a lot." "Oh, Ed." "Oh, Darling!" "My darling, what is it?" "It's nothing." "Look, I told you, please go away!" " You should have called me." "Is the pain back?" " Of course not!" "It isn't anything physical." "I wish to God it were." "I'll call Dr. Norton." " He'll send me back to the hospital." " But shouldn't you go?" "I can't get sick again." "What'll happen to you and Richie if I fold up on the job?" "I'm not going to argue about this!" "Well — Well, let's go upstairs and get some sleep then." "We'll see how you feel in the morning." "Some kind of a letdown is all." "I'm sorry if I worried you." "Oh, you'll be all right." "You go ahead." "I'll be — I'll be right in." " Don't be long, darling." " No." "Hello?" "Dr. Norton speaking." "Hello?" "Who's calling?" " Mm-hmm." " What is it?" " 128 over 80, Ed." " Oh." "It's fine." "Still no periods of depression?" "Just a little one first night home." " Mm-hmm." "Nothing else?" " No, nothing at all." "Well, we might as well continue the present dosage." "I'll need a new prescription." "Hmm?" "Oh, you should have enough to carry you another five days." " You didn't take more than I prescribed?" " No, my hands were wet." "I dropped the bottle." "The whole lot ran down the drain." " You taking penicillin?" " Yeah." " Have any bad reactions?" " No." "Some people do." "Same with aspirin even." "Now, cortisone... sometimes we see it produce some pretty queer mental effects." " Oh, is there something else?" " No, no." "Nothing at all." " All right, I'll see you in 10 days, Ed." " Bye." "Bye." " Good-bye, Mr. Avery." " Bye, Nurse." "I'm not kidding, Wally." "Every P.T.A. Night I wish I worked in a filling station." "Come on." "Parents are no worse than kids." "Ah, that's easy for you to say." "Examples of their little hobbies — butterflies, home weaving and so on —" "We call it sharing." "Think of it, ladies and gentlemen — 100,000 schools like this from coast to coast." "Every year whole forests are cut down... to supply the paper for these grotesque daubs." "And we coo over them as though they were van Goghs or Rembrandts." "I'm afraid Mr. Avery hasn't much faith... in the unspoiled instincts of childhood." "Afraid?" "My dear lady... childhood is a congenital disease... and the purpose of education is to cure it!" "I see my point of view is new to many of you." "But ask yourselves, how do we describe the unfortunate individual... who carries his unspoiled childhood instincts into adult life?" "We say he's arrested." "We call him a moron." "Well!" "I'm not at all sure that I like to have my daughter Louise thought of that way... and by her teacher!" "My dear lady, your Louise is a charming little creature... but we must try to examine the problem without prejudice or sentiment." "The hard fact remains that your daughter, at her present stage of development... is roughly on an intellectual par with the African gorilla." "It's, uh, getting pretty hot in here, isn't it, Ed?" "Excuse me, sir." "She's the president of the P.T.A." "Oh, really?" "What, after all, from the Stone Age to the present day... has been the greatest invention of mankind?" "Has anybody got a match?" "Thank you." "Fire?" "The wheel?" "Safety pin?" "The hydrogen bomb?" "No, ladies and gentlemen, the alphabet." "And persons like myself are required to teach these poor, bewildered kids... to read by a system of word recognition... as though the mighty English language were a collection of Chinese ideograms." "And then we're surprised when Junior can't even wade through the comics." "Some of us have been waiting to hear this kind of talk, Mr. Avery." "He's telling us we oughta get back to the old three Rs." ""The three Rs" — that's just a catchphrase." "Before it's too late, we ought to get back to the real fundamentals." "And I'm not just talking of primary education now." "We're breeding a race of moral midgets." "All this hogwash about "self-expression," "permissiveness"..." ""development patterns"..." ""emotional security" —" "Security — with the world ready to blow up." "If the republic is to survive... we've got to get back to teaching the good old virtues... of hard work and self-discipline and a sense of duty!" "My friends, I tell you... we're committing hara-kiri every day right here in this classroom." "Mister, that young man ought to be the principal of this school." "I just can't figure it out." "LaPorte and I sat up half the night talking about it." " What did Bob think?" " Well, he asked me... if I didn't think Ed was getting a little out of hand." "So I said, Sure, but you have to make allowances because he's been sick." "Well, you're a fine friend, talking to his boss behind his back." "But, Lou, haven't you noticed anything lately, like the way he talks?" "He just isn't the same guy." "You know, uh, big shot." "He even looks bigger." "Look, Wally — Wally, mind your own business." "No matter how close we are to the LaPortes socially, Bob is still Ed's boss... and we mustn't let him think that Ed's still sick." "He may force Ed to take a vacation." "Do you have any idea what that would mean?" "Just the cortisone Ed has to take costs two dollars a day." "That's $60 a month." "Gee, Lou, you wouldn't think... a foot that big could fit in a guy's mouth." "I'm sorry, Lou." "I —" " Lou?" " Yes, darling." "Surprised?" "Had the substitute take over." "Little white lies." "And I had a headache." "Lou, have I got an idea." "I knew something would come of it last night." "The most revolutionary concept ever to hit modern education." "Whole series of magazine articles." "Will you be sitting up nights pounding the old typewriter." " Hi, Ed." " Wally just dropped by." "So I see." "Why don't you get him a beer?" " You know I don't drink, Ed." " Oh, yeah." "Mr. Muscle Beach." "Well, isn't this nice." "My old pal dropping by to entertain the little woman while I'm at work." "I suppose you fell into that habit while I was in the hospital." "I didn't notice your car outside as I drove in." "Well, I — I walked, Ed." "Oh, of course." "Exercise." "That magnificent physique." "By the way, what were you talking about?" " W-We were just chatting." " What about exactly?" "You know, Ed, one thing and another." " What short memories." " Oh, Ed." "Yes, Ed!" "Oh, I started to tell you." "A whole new vista suddenly opened up." "It's gonna take everything I've got." "But what a career." "What a mission." "It could lead to a completely new type of television program for adults." "It — It sounds fascinating." "Is that what you told them at the P.T.A. Meeting?" "Oh, so you do remember what you were talking about." "Did you make a full report, Wally?" "I'm sure you did." "Well... this will be a wrench for both of us." "But you must try to understand that I couldn't possibly continue on here." "This new project —" "I couldn't do it justice in an atmosphere of... petty domesticity." "A man's wife." "The woman he expected to love devotedly for the rest of his life." "Then suddenly one morning, you're free — released." " You've simply outgrown her." " What?" "Quiet!" "The way things turn out." "The way destiny imposes its intentions at crucial moments." "What perfect timing." "Oh —" "Take it easy." "You get on the phone and call Dr. Norton." "He'll put you in touch with a —" " Well, you know, a psychiatrist." " No!" "No, don't you dare say that!" "You're gonna keep kidding yourself, Lou?" "Kidding myself?" "If it gets around that Ed's in the hospital again, this time with mental trouble... what do you think that's going to do to a schoolteacher's career?" "Oh, I see." "Yeah." "I certainly had you figured wrong, Lou." "Smart girl like you." "Why don't you carry the ball for a while?" "Get your old job back again or something." "Do you think Ed would let me go out and earn a living while he's in the hospital?" " What are you gonna do then?" " Whatever he thinks he wants — anything at all." " Look, Wally, you go back to the school." " But, Lou —" " You'll only disturb him." " You heard him." " He said he was gonna leave you." " Oh, that." "That doesn't mean anything." "He's not himself!" "All that pain and worry." " Uh, go on." " Okay." "But if you need any help, you —" "Right?" " Can I help?" " If you like." "Thanks." "You look tired." "Why don't you take a nap before you leave?" "We waste a third of our lives sleeping." "Not content with that, we keep running to the doctors for sleeping pills." "They can afford to be lavish with life because they have no conception of its value." "All right." "They've reduced the mortality rate." "They know how to keep us alive." "But they don't know why." " Hadn't you better wait until morning?" " It's probably never occurred to you... that the words "teacher" and "doctor" mean the same thing." "Unfortunately there are too many doctors and not enough teachers." "How long do you think this new job will take?" "It's a lifework." "Can't you get that through your head?" "What a shame I couldn't have married someone who was my intellectual equal." "I suppose you'll send the manuscript here so I can type it." " I'll hire a professional." " Oh, but that's so expensive." "There you go again." "Very thing I was talking about." "The trivial — You just can't distinguish between the trivial and the important, can you?" " Where will you stay?" " Some hotel." "Ed, I'll drive you around so you can find a really nice place." "You can keep the car, if that's what's worrying you." "I'll call a cab." "Want to come over and play baseball?" "Okay." "Then hurry up." "Hi, Mom!" "Anything to eat?" "Richie, shh." "Richie, I want you to go over to your daddy's school." "Find your Uncle Wally and tell him I have to talk to him right away." "Okay, Mom." "Hi, Dad!" "What are you doing home?" "You better wash that face." "I can't leave after all." "A man's first obligation is to bring up his own son." "Sometimes we say more than we mean." "I know." "I think I'll go for a little ride." " Do you want me to go along?" " No, thanks." "I have to think." "Gotta clear my mind." "Want me to unpack your bags?" "Yeah." "Might as well." "Shall I take my bike?" "No, darling." "You don't have to go now." "Now, come on." "Shall we raid the icebox?" "Get going, you stupid —" "Oh, I seem to have left my prescription blanks in the car." "Let me have one of yours, will you?" "Thanks." "Are you a physician?" "If I weren't, I wouldn't be able to write this, would I?" "If it would make you feel any better, I can go get my bag." "I guess this will be all right, Doctor." "If you don't mind, I'm in a hurry." "My patient's right outside in the car." "Periarteritis nodosa." "Yes, sir." "I'm glad I dropped in." "I'm new here." " I like the way you do business." " Thank you." "Is the virus epidemic keeping you busy, Doctor?" "Night and day." "The birthrate's getting out of hand too." "The birthrate — Yes." "This will be $50." "Doctor's cost." " Gosh, Dad." "I'm winded." " That's football." "Come on, boy." "Let's go." "You're center." "I yell "hike. "" "You run." "You count six and it'll be there." "Ready?" "Hike!" "What'd you close your eyes for?" "You can't expect to catch a pass with your eyes closed." "I didn't." "You flinched." "I saw you." "You don't think they gave me this ball for flinching, do you?" "Every college in the East had a scout there that day." "Dad, football season's over." "All the other kids are playing baseball." " Richie." " Yes?" "Are you satisfied with the way you play football?" " I'm as good as most kids." " I know it's just a game." "But if you back off now, if you let it go at "good enough," that's the way you'll be later on." "You want to be a man, don't you?" "All right." "Let's see you really get in there." "Ready?" "Hike!" "You didn't even try that time." "You quit!" "I'm no quitter." "Richie, I can't allow such behavior." "For your own sake, I have to brace you up with a little penalty." "If you miss this next pass, it's gonna cost you your lunch." "This may seem hard to you, but later on you'll look back and you'll thank me." "All right?" "Ready?" "Hike!" "I'm sure if you send the check back through it'll be all right, Mr. Byron." "And if it's something I don't know about... well, then I'll take the dress back myself on Monday." "And the bank will tell you nothing like this has ever happened before." "I'm sure it'll be all right, Mrs. Avery." "It's just that we've never done business with you before." "Well, I appreciate your attitude very much, Mr. Byron." " It'll all be straightened out on Monday." " All right." "Wally, Ed's out in back." "You know, he — he's home now on Saturdays." "I know, Lou." "But I just found out something." "Lou, Lou, this is important." "You've got to listen to me." " You haven't been talking about Ed, have you?" " No, but I know what's the matter with him." " Good morning, Mrs. Avery." "Any cream today?" " Oh, just the usual." "Thanks, Andy." "Here." "Read this." "Go on!" "Read it." "It's about cortisone." "A lot of doctors have been having trouble with it." ""The most serious reported complication of the treatment is psychosis." ""In some cases, major mental disturbances have occurred." ""They have been most common in cases of high dosage and prolonged treatment." "The benefits of the drug must now be weighed against its long-term dangers. "" "See?" "That's what it is." " I see." " What are you gonna do?" "Call Dr. Norton." " I'll go with you, Lou." " Oh, no, Wally." "I'll call you later." "Oh, you're an angel." "And furthermore, this isn't the first time you've gone out of your way... to annoy me with your jingle-jangle in, jingle-jangle out." " Why do you do it?" " I can't help it if the bottles make noise." "Don't lie to me." "It's deliberate." "You're filled with envy and malice towards me because I work with my mind... so you make it impossible for me to concentrate." "I wouldn't do a thing like that, Mr. Avery." "Why, you folks and me, we've been real friend —" "Some mornings I even take the boy with me on my rounds." "Ask him." "I said for you to wait outside." "Go and do as you're told." "Now I give you warning." "If this happens once more — once more — I'll have your job for it." "I'll call the president of your company." "Look, Mr. Avery, I've been working for this company since — since 11 years, see?" "A" " And you can take a-and call the president of the United States if you wanna!" "Oh, well, g-g-good-bye." "I'm sorry." "I'll try not to disturb you, Mr. Avery." "That's what I mean." "Listen to him." "Ed, I want to talk to you." "All right." "You've been so erratic, so unreasonable... as if you'd been drinking." "But Wally found out why." "It's the cortisone." "Oh." "You've got to believe me." "You've got to stop taking it." "Oh, my God!" "Yes?" "Did you forget what you were going to say?" "I forgot." "Wally knows, doesn't he?" "He knows that without cortisone I'd be dead within the year." "What sort of a fool do you both take me for?" "Nine, four, 17." "Hike!" "Hey, Jimmy, wanna play football with me?" "Dr. Norton's office." "Hello." "Is Dr. Norton there?" "This is Mrs. Avery." "I'm sorry, Mrs. Avery." "Doctor is out of town for the weekend." "Dr. MacLennan is taking his calls." "Mrs. Avery." "May I connect you with him?" "No, it'll wait until Monday." "I'd rather talk to Dr. Norton personally." "Richie." "What is the common denominator of six and five?" "Thirty?" "No, 20." "No, 30." "Why did you write "11"?" "I don't know." "I guess I —" "You guessed?" "Take a fresh sheet." "Ready?" ""A" and "B" are hired to cut wood... at 50 cents a cord." "Write it down." ""A" can cut a cord in six hours, "B" in five hours." "Now think." "How long will it take them both to cut a cord?" "They could do it faster with a power saw." "A power saw isn't the point." "This is a problem, quite a simple problem in arithmetic... designed to develop your mind." "Understand?" "Very well then." "Fifty cents a cord." "Richie, don't you see?" "The 50 cents doesn't — doesn't make any difference." "Leave the 50 cents out, and go on from there." "Don't get flustered." "Just use your reason calmly." "We'll have dinner the moment you've mastered this problem." " Ed, dinner's been waiting two hours." " I'm sorry." " Richie ought to eat." " I'm hungry too." "Ed, Richie didn't even have lunch." "Look at him." "He's falling asleep." " He's just a child." " Lou, my profession is teaching." "I happen to know something about children." "They're born bone lazy, just as they're born greedy and untruthful." "Aren't you expecting too much?" "The human brain, if properly developed, is capable of doing 10 times the work... that'll ever be required of it." "Lou, my concern is solely for Richard's future." "I'm prepared to sacrifice everything to that." "Any objection?" "No, Ed, I — I'm sorry I interfered." "Never a moment's peace." "Keep at it." "I'll be right back." "Richie." "Richie!" "Drink this." "I can't do it." "I hate him, Mom." " I hate him." " Oh, Richie." "Now, darling, listen to me." "You've got to understand this, just as if you were a grown person." "Your father doesn't mean to act this way." "It's those pills." "And if he stops taking them, he — his awful pain will return." "Now, we wouldn't want that to happen, would we?" "Gosh, no." "So you and I must be very careful not to upset him." "Just keep on loving him with all our hearts, no matter what he does." "Now, we'll see Dr. Norton on Monday." "And you'll do everything you can to help until then, won't you, darling?" "Sure, Mom." "I just didn't get it." "Well, uh, finish your milk." "Now wipe your mouth." " Finished?" " Not yet." "Done?" "I... think so." "You think so, huh?" "Two hours, 43 minutes... 38 and 2/11 seconds." "Good work, boy." "Wasn't so hard after all, was it?" "I was just dumb, I guess." "Go on." "Time for dinner." "Hey, Mom!" "Dinner!" "Lord, we thank thee... for the blessings we are about to receive." "Amen." "Give me that pitcher." "Give me that glass." "How stupid to suppose you could hide anything from me." "Quite obviously one glassful has already been poured out of this." " What became of it?" " I drank it, Daddy." "It's my fault, Ed." "I brought it to him while you were upstairs." "Lou, it will be better for all of us if you clearly understand one thing." "I will not tolerate your attempts to undermine my program for Richard." "Yes, darling." "Be good enough not to speak to me in that hypocritical tone of voice." "I see through you as clearly as I see through this glass pitcher!" "If you imagine I'm gonna be fooled by all this sweetness and meekness —" ""Yes, darling, no, darling" — you're even a bigger idiot than I took you for." "Let's clear this up once and for all!" "I'm staying in this house solely for the boy's sake!" "As for you personally, I'm completely finished with you." "There's nothing left." "Our marriage is over!" "In my mind, I've divorced you." "You're not my wife any longer." "I am not your husband any longer." ""But the father said to his servants..." ""'Bring forth the best robe and put it on him..." ""'and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet..." ""'and bring hither the fatted calf, and kill it..." ""'and let us eat and be merry." ""'For this my son was dead, and is alive again." ""He was lost, and is found. '" "And they began to be merry. "" "First, that I may preach the word of God truly... and you hear it... let us bow our heads to him who said..." ""Whatsoever you ask the father in my name, he will give it you. "" "Of all the feeble-witted sermons it's ever been my misfortune to sit through." "Richie, why don't you take the funnies upstairs?" "I'll look at 'em later." "A man who couldn't earn a living selling neckties... has the audacity to stand up and talk ethics to 500 people." "You better go change your clothes." "Come down as soon as you're changed." "Where are you going?" "To change my dress." "First, you didn't want to wear it to church." "I like to see you in bright colors." "You're to keep it on." "All right." "If it weren't downright criminal, it would really be funny." " What would, Ed?" " Trusting the moral guidance of our children... to these sanctimonious stuffed shirts." "Now I'll have to take all that on." "Well, dinner's in the oven." "I'd better go look." "Lou —" ""Take no thought, saying, what shall we eat?" ""Or, what shall we drink?" "Or, wherewithal shall we be clothed?"" "The duty of children to parents, and parents to children." "All that fuzzy-minded sentimentality." "Love?" "Of course." "It's built in." "Nature takes care of that." "But the first duty is to principle." "Where's that boy?" "So much has to be reevaluated, explored." "Lou!" "Lou?" "You'll be happy to know you've won." "All my efforts have been too late." "In this house our son has become a thief." "...is to devote my entire efforts to —" " I've tried to do my best —" " Hello." "May I speak to Mr. Wally Gibbs, please?" "But if you flinch in power —" "No, thank you." "I'll call him over at the LaPortes." "...household duties and steal and lie —" "I'm not a liar!" "You are!" "All that about being such a big football player." "You were just a substitute." "And I'm gonna call Dr. Norton to make you stop taking those pills!" "I don't care if your pain does come back!" "I'd rather you were dead than the way you are now!" "Come out of there." "Get into your room." "You've done a bad thing." "I've got to think about it." "Vi — Vi, listen to me." "I'll be over as soon as I can." "But you tell Wally I have to see him." "It's terribly important." ""And so the Lord visited Sarah..." ""and it came to pass after these things that God did tempt Abraham..." ""and said unto him, 'Abraham. '" ""And he said, 'Behold, here I am. '" ""And he said, 'Take now thy son, thine only son Isaac, whom thou lovest... and get thee into the land of Moriah"' —" "Where are you going?" "Just over to the LaPortes." "I won't be long." "There's something we have to talk about." "Vi isn't feeling well and she's all alone." "This is enormously more important." "Well, I'm sorry." "It'll have to wait." "Vi needs me." "Please, darling." "All right." " We must try to forgive each other." " Forgive?" "No, wait." "About Richie — this terrible thing that's happened to him." "No matter what's come between us, Lou, you and I are still his parents." "Perhaps we're both to blame." "We must face this together, try to think out what must be done." " Done?" "But, Ed —" " Now let me finish!" "Lou, ask yourself, what's to become of him?" "He's ignored all my teaching." "What future can we reasonably see for him now?" "Growing up into a man who feels himself above the law, above ethics." "When we're no longer here to restrain him, watch over him... who knows what crimes —" "Even murder." "Lou, our boy." "For his sake... no matter how hard it must be for us, we've got to save him from all that." "Now." "Before it's too late." "Oh, Ed, I don't know what you're talking about." "Look here." "It says..." ""Take thy son Isaac, whom thou lovest..." ""and get thee into the land of Moriah;" "and offer him there for a burnt offering... upon one of the mountains which I will tell thee of. "" " Oh!" " "And Abraham rose up early in the morning..." ""and took Isaac his son, and clave the wood for the burnt offering..." ""and went unto the place of which God had told him." ""Then on the third day Abraham lifted up his eyes and saw the place afar off..." ""and they came to the place of which God had told him." ""And Abraham built an altar there and laid the wood in order..." ""and bound Isaac his son, and laid him on the altar upon the wood." ""And Abraham stretched forth his hand... and took the knife to slay his son. "" "But, Ed, you didn't read it all." "God stopped Abraham." "God was wrong." "Where is Richie now?" "In his room." "I told him to wait there." "Well, Ed, you've had... time to think this thing out." "I haven't." "This seems very terrible to you, doesn't it?" "Yes, it does." "For you too." "Oh, Ed, look at you." "I know what's in your mind." "Here, in the same book it's written, "Thou shalt not kill. "" "So, Richie remains innocent." "We take the guilt." "We incur the damnation... in mercy to the boy." "Ed, your son — your little boy." "You love him." "Look at these." "His very first photographs." "Look at this one, Ed." "You're holding him in your arms, s- so proud." "A" " And this one." "You're pushing him in that awful secondhand baby carriage." "Now look, Ed." " No, Ed, look." "Look at his hair." " Put it away!" "We can't allow ourselves —" "Let it ring!" "Ed, how will we make it seem like an accident?" "Perhaps — Perhaps if we take him out in the car —" "Accident?" "But I hadn't planned to go on living." "Do you?" "There's nothing left for us to live for now." "Ed — Ed, our — our own home." "Tomorrow, or the next day, when they — when they come and find us —" "None of us will know." "Oh, Ed!" "Ed!" "Ed!" "Oh, Ed." "No, no." "Not yet." " Not yet!" " Now, Lou." "Ed — Ed, just —just one more thing." "Do you mind?" "I know it's foolish of me." "Well?" "Could — Could we go out together one last time?" "You know, the way we do around the block." "All right." " How far shall we walk?" " Oh!" "Just —Just to the corner." " The corner with the police station?" " Ed!" "No!" "Ed!" "No!" "Ed!" "No!" "Richie!" "Run out the window!" "Richie!" "Richie!" "No!" "Richie!" "Circus]" " Richie!" "Richie, run!" "From your father!" "Run, Richie!" "Richie!" "Richie!" "It's okay, pal." "Everything's gonna be okay!" "No!" "I'm sorry." "Some people work awful late, don't they?" "Oh, Richie... you oughta be in bed now." "What time is it?" "Oh, Nurse —" "Nurses are always in such a hurry!" "Doctor, what is going on?" "How is my husband?" "I've just come from his room." "He's still under sedation." "Why isn't Dr. Norton back?" "He said he would." "He's in your husband's room right now." "I suppose he didn't want to wake you." "Didn't want to wake me!" "If there's any new development, I'm sure he'll tell you." "But the thing I want to know —" " Dr. Norton, how is Ed?" " He's still under sedation." "Well, I know that." "You've had him like a dead man in there for over 30 hours." " But how is he?" " Lou, you've been very brave up to now." " Don't go to pieces." " I am not going to pieces, sir!" "I am Ed Avery's wife, and I want to know what's happening to him." "Yes?" "For instance, why all these sedatives?" " I am not precisely an idiot!" "What are you hiding?" " Nothing." "Ed's in good physical shape." "Well, what's happening to him now?" "Is he in pain?" " No." " But?" "We've kept him under sedation to give him every chance to recover." "From what?" "From the psychosis induced by the cortisone." "He's had a deep, refreshing sleep, and we may find him bright and alert any minute now." " However —" " Yes?" "Well, I can't promise you that he's going to be the Ed that you've always known." "By that, I mean that he may be psychotic." "You mean out of his mind?" "Lou, I've always been frank with you, and I'm not going to change now." "When Ed opens his eyes, he may not recognize any of us." "I want you to be prepared for that." "But if he can remember everything that happened, and face it... then he'll be all right." "Doctor, I want to look on the brighter side." "By all means, Lou." "If he comes out of this —" "I mean, the way we all want him to — what will you give him instead of cortisone?" "There is no instead, Lou." "Cortisone again." "It was only Ed's misuse of the drug that brought about this condition." "This time it'll be in carefully prescribed dosage, which you will have to supervise." "But if this drug is so dangerous —" "All drugs are potentially dangerous." "Cortisone is the only thing that could have saved his life, Lou... and it'll do so again." "But it needs faith." "Do you have faith, Lou?" " The patient in Room 10 is coming out of it." " Thank you." "Yes, I have faith, Doctor — faith in my husband... in my son... in the family we can be together." "And that is why I — I want to stay close to him... in his room... at his bed, by his side... so that when he opens his eyes and sees us... he'll know that we have faith in him." "Sure." "That seems like a reasonable request." "Turn out the sun!" " What?" " The sun." "Turn it out." "It's blinding me." "What sun?" "The overhead light, you fool." "It's blinding me!" "What's this?" "Where am I?" " What's happened?" " You're in the hospital, Ed." " I'm disappointed." " About what?" "You're a poor substitute for Abraham Lincoln." "How do you mean that?" "Mean what?" " You're not Abraham Lincoln, are you?" " No." "No, I'm not." "Lou?" "What's happened?" "What — Was there an auto accident?" "You sort of f-fell down the stairs." "Richie?" "I was dreaming." "I walked with Lincoln." "He was as big and ugly... and beautiful... as he was in life." "Abraham." "Abraham!" "Did I hurt you?" "I tried to." "Are you all right?" "I'm all right, Dad." "I remember now." "I remember everything that happened." "That's the way it should be, Ed." "It's important to remember." "Dr. Norton, will you leave me alone with my wife and son?" "Of course, Ed." "Oh." "I'm so far away from you." "Come closer." " Closer." "Closer." " Ed, you'll have us both in bed." "That's what I mean." "Closer." "Closer."