"Casey:" "Leonard Mooker of Newton, Massachusetts, asks," ""If the 1927 New York Yankees team played" ""the 1998 New York Yankees team in the World Series, who'd win?"" "Leonard, get a grip." "The World Series, by tradition, is contested by two diff er ent teams made up of players that ar e alive at the same time." "But if you want an answer to your question, my guess is that the '27 Yankees would be conf ounded by the jet airplanes flying overhead." "And that does it f or "Ask Dan and Casey."" "Dan." "We've got mor e coming up, including Michigan/Indiana and a swim in the shark tank, plus you never know when Casey's gonna f r eak out on the air." "You'r e watching "Sports Night" on CSC, so stick around." "" " We're out." "" " Three minutes back." "" " Do you understand?" "" " No." "" " You don't?" "" " No." "" " Really?" "" " Yes." "" " Can I spr ead it out f or you in a nutshell?" "" " No." "" " I can't?" "" " No." "" " Why not?" " 'Cause I'm tir ed of you mixing your metaphors." ""Spr ead it out f or you in a nutshell"?" "How you doing?" "I'm a prof essional writer." "You got a spot or something right ther e." "Oop." "[ Indistinct voices ] 2 1/2 back." "Does 20B have film?" "" " The end of the Michigan game?" "" " Yeah." "" " Not yet." "Jer emy, we don't have film on the end of the Michigan game?" "" " No." "" " Why not?" "We'r e waiting f or them to play the end of the Michigan game." "Yeah." "All right." "Load 16 and 16A." "" " Show me Denver." "" " Denver's up." "It was 66 degr ees in Denver today." "Tell me quickly why I car e." "No earthly r eason." "" " So you r eally don't understand?" "" " No." "Then I'm gonna have to spr ead it out f or you in a nutshell." "[ Sighs ] Okay." "I was riding the elevator a couple of weeks ago." "Riding up to work?" "No, Casey." "Just riding around." "" " Listen -- " " You don't have to ask questions." "I'm gonna tell the story clearly." "The things you need to know, I'm gonna tell you." "Yeah, but I married someone once who said that." "Now she has half my stuff." "" " I don't want your stuff." "" " You say that now." "Natalie introduced me to this woman who works in the building." "Did you make a pass at her?" "" " Again, ther e's the asking of the questions." "" " Did you?" "" " I don't even think people say "make a pass" anymor e." "I just did." "I didn't make a pass at her." "You know why?" " 'Cause you'r e not that guy?" " 'Cause I'm not that guy." "Elliott: 90 seconds back." "I guess my point was that it was unseasonably hot in Denver." "" " Was it a r ecord?" "" " No." "" " Then I don't car e." "" " That's okay." "In f act, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have cared even if it had been a record." "Ther e was r ecord rainf all in Katmandu." "Ar e you sensitive about being a weather nerd?" "I mean, if I make f un of your being a weather nerd, will it hurt your f eelings?" "He pr ef ers "meteorology nerd," don't you, sweetie?" "" " Actually, yeah." "" " Wher e's 20B?" "You understand you'r e asking f or film of something that hasn't happened yet?" "Thank you, Mr. Helper." "" " Don't get persnickety." "" " Was I getting persnickety?" "A little persnickety." "You'r e wrong." "Wher e the hell's 16?" " 16's up." "" " You want 16B?" " 16B?" "" " Yeah." "" " No, and the way you can tell I don't want it is that I didn't ask for it." "That was persnickety." "I heard that." "" " Dana's pr eoccupied." "" " Natalie..." "" " Why?" "" " Kim..." "She thinks Gordon's about to br eak up with her." "Natalie, ar e you able to distinguish between conversations we have in private and conversations we have in a roomf ul of people?" "Also, she's secr etly in love with Casey." "Oh, I want this commercial br eak to be over so bad." "" " Dana?" "" " Yeah?" "I'd like the senior staff in the conf er ence room after the show." "" " Why?" "" " Because I said so." "" " Oh, and that's not persnickety?" "" " He makes it work." "Isaac, at this meeting after the show, ar e any of these people her e gonna get fir ed?" "" " No." " 'Cause I don't care if they do." "30 seconds back." "So then I started going out on a couple of dates with Elaine, and now it would be wrong f or me to call this girl and ask her out" " even though Natalie keeps telling her that I'm gonna." "" " Telling who?" "The girl f rom the elevator." "Ther e's only one girl in this story, Casey." "Ther e wer e thr ee girls in that story." " 10 seconds back." "" " Anyway, that was it in a nutshell." "" " You understand now?" "" " Actually?" "" " Yeah." "" " No." "Dave:" "In 3...2..." "Welcome back." "The horse's owner, Sheik Abdul Al Ben-Venista, said the syndicate will seriously consider entering Fool's Ransom in the Kentucky Derby." "Trainer Tubby Licht said he thought Fool's Ransom could run the table and win the Triple Crown." "Fool's Ransom declined to comment." "Casey." "That's gonna do it f or us." "We'd like to welcome the Four Corners Cable System in Pena Blanca, New Mexico, to the Continental Sports Channel f amily." "Any of you out ther e in Pena Blanca, New Mexico, who ar e watching us right now, turn off your television sets and go outside." "You live in New Mexico, f or crying' out loud." "You've been watching "Sports Night" on CSC." "We'll see you tomorrow." "Good night." "" " Music." "" " Yep." "" " Animation." "" " Go." "We'r e out." "Everybody, senior staff in the conf er ence room." "So I'm gonna try telling you this story one mor e time." "Can I just make a suggestion?" "Sur e." "What if, instead of you telling me the story right this second, you never tell me the story, ever?" "I'm riding in the elevator with Natalie," "Natalie says, "Oh, hey, Rebecca."" "And Natalie wasn't talking to you?" "No." "I think she was talking to Rebecca." " 'Cause I thought maybe you had a new nickname." "" " I don't." "" " So if I shout, "Yo, Rebecca," you won't turn around?" "" " No." "What about "Becky"?" "Anyway, we talked f or maybe 14 floors, she gets off -- " " Natalie?" "" " Rebecca." "And I say, "Natalie, she seemed nice."" "Couple days later, Natalie tells me that Rebecca r eally liked me and that I should call her, so I said I would." "Couple days go by, Natalie keeps telling me how much Rebecca likes me and wants me to call her, but unbeknownst to either Rebecca or Natalie, a third character has now enter ed the story." "Elaine." "I started dating Elaine." "Tell me I'm not paying attention." " [ Snaps fingers ] " " The breakup's coming." "He's gonna br eak up with me." "I've got to pull a rabbit out of a hat." "" " You should talk to someone." "" " I'm talking to you." "You know who you should talk to?" "" " Who?" "" " Casey." "Would you please, in the name of everything holy, give that up?" "You should talk to Casey." "That's your only advice?" "" " No." "I have other advice." "" " What?" "That was my only advice." "Natalie, I'm r eally scar ed." "" " I know." " [ Telephone ringing ]" "You know what you should do?" "What?" "You should talk to Casey." "Why should I talk to Casey?" "Casey's good at this." "" " We have a meeting." "" " Also, you'r e secr etly in love with him." "I'm not secr etly in love with him, all right?" "I'm in love with Gordon publicly." "That's why you can hear me saying it." "I am, on every level, in love with Gordon." "" " I know." "" " Good." "But you'r e secr etly in love with Casey." "We have a meeting." "[ Indistinct voices ]" "" " So you understand my problem?" "" " Oh, now?" "" " Yeah." "" " No." "Ar e you gonna call Rebecca?" "Absolutely." "Yeah?" "I'm absolutely gonna call Rebecca." "She can't wait." "I can't call Rebecca." "Yeah." "Anybody know what this is about?" "" " Isaac called it." "" " Is ther e any f ood?" "No, 'cause the cater er called in sick." "What's with her?" "Nothing." "Is it natur e's special time?" "Oh, you know what?" "Bite me so hard f or that." "[ Flicking sugar ] 66 degr ees in Denver today." "Two inches of rain in Katmandu." "Geek boys." "Is everyone her e?" "Yeah." "Thanks." "This won't take long." "Ther e's gonna be a piece in tomorrow's Wall Street Journal." "Don't worry about it." "[ Taps table ] That's all." "" " Whoa, whoa." "" " Isaac?" "" " What?" "" " What ar e you, Agatha Christie?" "What's in the Journal?" "Don't worry about it." "Good night." "" " Well, that was r eassuring." " [ Door closes ]" "[ Indistinct voices ]" "" " You can't go in ther e yet." "" " Why not?" "He's in with J.J." "" " What ar e you doing?" "" " Waiting for him to be done with J.J." "" " How long has he been in ther e?" "" " About 20 minutes." "" " How long have you been out her e?" "" " About five minutes." "" " What do you think -- " " How many mor e questions do I have in my f utur e, Casey?" "Makin' a little conversation." "What's going on?" "Dana's not fielding any mor e questions right now." "He's in with J.J." "" " I didn't think it was so bad." "" " No." "Who do you think the source is on the quote?" "" " Danny thinks it's Luther." "" " It's Luther." "" " Who do you think it is?" "" " I think it's Luther, too." "" " You'r e both idiots." "" " Who do you think it is?" "Oh, I think it's Luther." "I'm just saying you'r e both idiots." "Let's go in ther e." "He's in a meeting." "I think we should join the meeting." "I don't think we wer e invited to the meeting." "Perhaps he didn't know we wer e available." "He's right." "Knock on the door and say you'r e looking f or a pencil." "No, no." "A pencil's too obvious." "" " Yeah, you'r e right." "We need something a -- " " A staple r emover!" "[ Snaps fingers ] Staple r emover's good!" "[ Exhales sharply ]" "[ Laughing ] What ar e you doing?" "I was trying a magic trick on the off chance that the two of you would burst into flame." "No luck." "Yeah." "You're 100%right to be upset." "" " I'm not upset." "" " You seem upset." "I'm about to be upset." "" " Isaac, you -- " " When I'm upset, you'll know it." "Yes." ""While confirming the two-hour meeting" ""between Sachs and Delahansen," ""a spokesperson f or CSC denied that the meeting was an eff ort" ""to court the programming veteran." ""'Luther Sachs and Delahansen are social acquaintances, '" ""said the spokesperson." "'They met f or lunch."'" "Who was the spokesperson?" "Betty Gates in P.R." "" " I've heard stronger denials." "" " She's alr eady been called on the carpet." ""One source f amiliar with the situation" ""and speaking on the condition of anonymity" ""said that r ecent f riction between Sachs" ""and 'Sports Night"s managing editor, Isaac Jaff ee," ""had mor e to do with on-air content than off-air differences of opinion. "" "Who's the unnamed source?" "We have no idea." "Isaac, we have no idea." "When I say something, I put my name next to it." "Luther wants you to know that he r egr ets that the lunch with Delahansen became public." "And he also wants you to know that he r egr ets any embarrassment this may have caused you." "Yeah, I can tell by the way he hasn't called me all morning." " [ Knock on door ] " " Come in." "[ Door opens ]" "I'm sorry to bother you, Isaac." "I was just wondering if you had a staple r emover." "Hey, J.J." "Hey, Jer emy, you got that staple r emover that we'r e all " "Hey, J.J." "" " Hi, Dan." "" " Who else is out ther e?" "" " How you doin'?" "" " Hi." "[ Chuckles ] What's up?" "Not too much." "You r emember when I said don't worry about it?" "Yeah." "Don't worry about it." "Should I close the door?" "As long as you'r e all on the other side of it, yes." "What'd he say?" "He said not to worry about it." "Feel like doing some tape work?" "Yeah, in a minute, but I'm gonna go see Rebecca first." "" " Elevator woman?" "" " It's the menschy thing to do." "It is." "I could blow her off, but -- " " But you'r e not that guy." "" " I'm not that guy." "" " This would be a good time to talk to him." "" " Leave me alone." "'Cause you can see he's by himself in his office." "What makes you think Casey's inter ested in advising me on how I can get Gordon not to br eak up with me?" "" " He's not, but he'll do it anyway." "" " Why?" "'Cause he's secr etly in love with you." "" " He's not." "" " He's only pr etending he's not." "We've been through this, you and I." "He's pr etending he's pr etending he's not so I think he is, but he's not, but he thinks he is, which doesn't matter, anyway, because I'm in love with Gordon." "" " I know." "" " Good." "But you'r e secr etly in love with Casey." "[ Telephone ringing ]" "What do you need?" "This will sound ridiculous, but I actually need a staple r emover." "Leave me alone." "Hey." "Hi, there." "Listen, you have every right to be mad, but bef or e you say anything, can I just speak?" "Sur e." "Her e's the thing " "I did tell Natalie that I liked you when I met you in the elevator, and I did tell Natalie that I was gonna call you, but then, like a day later, I went out on a date with this woman named Elaine," "and then I went out on another date with her, and it's gotten a little serious, which is why I never called you." "But I wanted to come up her e and tell you that personally, first of all 'cause I thought it was the menschy thing to do, and second of all because I r eally did like you when I met you in the elevator." "Now you should f eel f r ee to yell at me." "Who the hell ar e you?" "It's me." "" " Is this a joke?" "" " No." "" " It isn't?" "" " No." "I'm not that good with jokes." "You don't have to be good with jokes." "This isn't a joke." "Jennif er didn't put you up to this?" "" " I don't know a Jennif er." "" " I don't know you." "I'm Dan Rydell." "We met in the elevator." "[ Snaps fingers ] Yes, we did." "What can I do f or you?" "I'm Dan Rydell." "So I heard." "[ Laughing ] And...her e I am." "Yes, you ar e." "Jennif er didn't put you up to this?" "" " Stop w-with the Jennif er." "" " Okay." "Natalie told me that you wer e expecting me to call you." "No." "" " You didn't think I was gonna call you?" "" " No." "Well...okay." "[ Laughs ]" "[ Sighs ]" "[ Engines r evving ]" "[ Click ]" "[ Click, r evving r esumes ]" "Wow." "[ Clears throat ]" ""Wow" what?" "Those cars ar e going f ast." "Yeah, they'r e going as f ast as they can, 'cause the first one across the finish line gets a trophy and a check." "" " Like a race?" "" " Right." "What do you need?" "" " What do I need?" "" " Yeah." "" " You came in her e." "" " Right." "" " Yeah." "" " I just had a strange experience." "Wait." "Why did you come in her e?" "[ Laughing ] I...honestly can't r emember." "I'll see you later." "That woman is crazier than any 10 people I know." "She wasn't expecting me to ask her out." "Rebecca?" "Yes." "In f act, she..." "bar ely r emember ed who I was." "That must've been awkward." "Indeed it was." "She didn't r emember you f rom the elevator?" "Eventually." "But first she thought Jennif er was playing a practical joke." "Who's Jennif er?" "Who car es?" "I was standin' up ther e." "So Natalie blew the call." "Oh, Natalie blew the call in a big ol' way, yes, but that's not my r eal problem." "I want you to take note right now " "I am not asking you what your r eal problem is." "My r eal problem is that I seem to have made no impr ession on her at all in the elevator." "And then I was talking to her just now... being cute as a button, thinking that she'd say, "Hey, listen, I don't --"" ""Well, as long as you came all the way up her e, how about a date f or lunch?"" "" " Something along those lines." "" " Yeah." "Yeah, but the r eason you went up ther e was to tell her you couldn't go out with her in the first place." "Right now that seems beside the point." "Does that look like he ran the caution?" "No." "They'r e moving on the outside." "Yeah." "That's what I thought." "I'm gonna go talk to her again." "Okay." "I'm gonna stay her e and do our job." "Is ther e a message you want me to deliver to Luther?" "No message I want you to deliver." "Isaac, I'm on your team." "You know, I know you don't think of me that way, but I am a good go-between." "I don't need a go-between, J.J." "Luther isn't hiding out in the mountains with the r ebel army." "Isaac..." "" " This has got to stop, J.J. " " I agr ee." "I worked on newspapers f or 23 years," "" " I..." " and I know how to r ead one." "" " Isaac..." "" " Mor e to do with problems on camera?" "That's not good f or the show." "That's not good f or CSC, it's not good f or Continental Corp, and it's not good f or Luther." "Give him that message." "You know, I wish you'd use me mor e." "You know, I think I could help." "I suppose you'r e right." "Oh, uh, my fiancée is back in town." "Do you mind if I bring her to watch the show tonight?" "I don't mind." "Ask Dana." "All right." "See you later." " [ Door closes ] " " Do me a f avor, Toni." "Run that by Paul or somebody in the general council's office." "" " Hello." "" " Hey, Don." "" " Dan." "" " Dan." "I just came back because I f elt bad about our first meeting." "" " In the elevator?" "" " No, that meeting I f elt good about until our second meeting, which I f elt bad about." "Well, Dan, ther e's r eally no need to f eel bad about any of our meetings." "That's easy f or you to say." "You don't r emember any of our meetings." "It was 10 seconds in an elevator." "Yeah, but you've seen me on TV." "When have I seen you on TV?" "I'm Dan Rydell." "And we'r e back to the starting gate." "Good evening." "From New York City," "I'm Dan Rydell alongside Casey McCall." "I'm that Dan Rydell -- "Sports Night."" "Oh!" "I've never seen "Sports Night."" "Don't you work f or CSC?" "I work f or Continental Corp, so I do work f or CSC, but I'm an analyst." "They don't make me watch the show." "[ Laughs ]" "Ther e ar e people who watch it voluntarily." "I'm sur e ther e ar e." "It's a good show." "Yeah, I like the part wher e you said your names." "" " We do mor e than that." "" " I would think." "Anyway, like I said, but f or this woman Elaine," "I definitely would've called you." "Well, thanks f or stopping by." "You bet." "Hi." "[ Laughing ] I r eally do have to work her e." "No, listen, I was just thinking -- I r eally like you." "I mean, these little conversations have been kind of f un, and I was wondering if you'd like to maybe have a drink later." "Oh, that's -- that's r eally sweet of you." "But no, thanks." "This thing with Elaine isn't that serious." "" " Who's Elaine?" "" " Exactly." "Dan, l-I r eally have got work to do." "" " Look, do you want -- " " Dan, I'm flatter ed, honestly, but I'm just not inter ested." "Hey, you don't have to hit me over the head." "[ Both chuckle ]" "At least you don't have to do it seven or eight times." "It was good talking to you." "Yeah, it was a r eal clambake." "I'm gonna go scrape my self-image off the floor and then get r eady to do my show, which, um, by the way, can be seen every night on your network." "I'll keep an eye out f or it." "Ex cellent." "[ Chuckles ]" "What?" "I just thought of a f unny visual." "I may need mor e time in the 20s." "" " I can take it out of Seattle." "" " Thanks." "Don't you want to know my f unny visual?" "Does it have to do with the Zamboni?" "" " How did you know?" " 'Cause you like Zambonis." "Everybody likes Zambonis." "" " Uh, I think you're wrong." "" " Ther e ar e people who don't like them?" "I wouldn't say that, but I'd say that most people ar e probably indiff er ent toward them." "Do you think I'm weird?" "In so many diff er ent ways." "Because I like Zambonis?" "What's on your mind?" "I don't know how to keep Gordon." "I don't know what to say to him." "What do you want to say to him?" "Don't br eak up with me." "That's not gonna work." "It won't?" "No." "What else you got?" "Nothing. [ Sighs ]" "" " You'r e wrong." "" " No, I'm not." "You've got the truth." "I don't have the truth." "You'd be amazed at how attractive" " the truth can be sometimes." "" " Not f or a woman." "" " You'r e wrong." "" " The truth is," "I have a job that involves me and stimulates me and r ewards me and takes up a lot of my time, and I'm not willing to do my job just a little bit." "I want to do all of it." "It's part of me, and I am diff er ent without it, and that is who I am, and that is who you need to love." "" " Ex cept it won't work." "" " Yes, it will." "It won't!" "" " Say it just like that." "" " It won't." "Dana, any man who hears that and doesn't say," ""For a woman like you, f or a person -- f or you," ""I will take whatever time you can give me and be gratef ul f or that all my lif e."" "[ Indistinct voices ]" "Any man who hears that and doesn't throw you down on the near est flat surf ace" " [ Laughs ] -- is just taking up space f or the r est of us." "And you shouldn't need Natalie to shove you in her e anytime you want to talk about something." "She didn't shove me in her e." "Kim:" "Five minutes to air, please." "First team to the studio." "I gotta go." "I appr eciate your talking." "I can have that time in the 20s?" "Check back with me." "2 minutes to VTR, 2 1/2 live." ""VTR" -- that means a videotape record." "That's the taped intro, then they come live to the studio 30 seconds later." "" " J.J. " " Isaac." "Uh, Judith, this is Isaac Jaff ee, the managing editor." "Uh, Isaac, this is my fiancée, Judith." "How do you do?" "So nice to finally meet you." "I hope I'm not imposing." "Judith, you ar e charming, and you'r e welcome her e whenever you like." "Thank you." "Watch out f or Isaac and the ladies." "This is J.J. 's fiancée, Judith." "" " Nice to meet you." "" " Hi." "Would you give Judith a quick introduction" " to Dan and Casey bef or e we start?" "" " Sur e." "I was thinking about what I said earlier." "About what?" "About cr eating division between the show and the network." "I said it's not good f or CSC, it's not good f or the show, it's not good f or Continental Corp," " and it's not good f or Luther Sachs." "" " Yeah." "So I asked myself, "Who would it be good f or?"" "Yeah." "I find out that quote in the Journal came f rom you," "I'm gonna own your ass." "I mean, I'll absolutely own it." "They'r e both very nice and very f unny, and they like you a lot, J.J." "That's good." "Now, you'r e sur e I'm not in the way?" "Absolutely sur e." "Enjoy the show." "Roll VTR." "60 seconds live." "[ "Sports Night" theme music plays ]" "Jer emy, what do you have f or a 30-second fill?" "" " What do you need?" "" " Something that's 30 seconds." "How about a pr ecocious little high-pr essur e system moving in over the Rocky Mountain r egion, cr eating winds of up to 30 miles per hour out of the northwest?" "Or how about something having to do with sports?" "Ex cellent." "" " You talked to him?" "" " Yeah." "" " What'd he say?" "" " Nothing." "How do you f eel?" "Better." "Dave: 20 seconds live." "Have a good show, everybody." "She likes you in the elevator, then she pr etends like she doesn't know you?" "" " She's playing hard to get." "" " I don't think she's playing hard to get." "I think she has no inter est in me at all." "Got to r espect her f or that." "I don't even know her, and -- no joke " "I " " I r eally like her." "It's little painf ul to me that I'm not gonna be seeing her tonight." "[ Chuckles ]" "You understand what I'm saying?" "Truthf ully?" "Yes, I do." "Dave:" "In 3...2..." "Good evening." "From New York City," "I'm Dan Rydell alongside Casey McCall." "Bats and balls, balls and strikes -- let's play ball." "It's time for spring training."