"Sameer..." "Cooking gas?" "Auntie!" "Auntie!" "That's good, auntie" "Hey auntie!" "Wake up!" "Sameer, forgive me." "I'm leaving you" "Sure, you're forgiven!" "Now wake up!" "I wish you were a heart-specialist instead of an orthopedician... you'd have understood my anguish." " I understand all your anguish!" "Now come on!" "Wake up!" "Please, Sameer..." "one last time" "Who are you?" "And what are you doing here?" "Strange girl!" "She first hugs me and then yells at me!" "How did you get in?" " Ungrateful girl!" "Like a hero!" "I Broke through the window." "You left the cooking-gas on" "Had I not got here on time, you'd have Been dead By now" "Why did you save me?" "You should've let me die!" "I see!" "A suicide case!" "Sameer's not the reason, is he?" " How did you guess?" "Auntie!" "He's the one whose name was on your lips when you clung to me!" "Don't even utter his name." "I'm very angry with him" "Why?" "Is there another girl in Uncle's life?" "Another girl?" "He's a married man!" " You've fallen for a married man?" "He's very honest and straightforward." "He hid nothing from me" "That's why I love him." " Uncle sure has it made!" "By the way, I'm Pyare Mohan." " Hi!" "But you can call me Pyare (dear one)." "Your friendly neighbour" "I've just arrived from Delhi." "I'm struggling to Become a film-star!" "I'm Sonia, a model." "And Sameer's a Bone-specialist" "It's late now." "Good night." " Wait, wait, wait" "Here's Sameer's card." "Please call him and tell him that I'm still alive" "And that there's no need for him to meet me" "Sure, I'll call him" "Good night, Pyare" "This is Naina, from Dr Malhotra's clinic." "What's happening?" "Why haven't the X-rays arrived?" "Please hurry up" "Thai Pavilion?" "Dr Malhotra's clinic." "His food hasn't arrived yet" "It's one already." "Please make it quick" "Excuse me, ma'am." " Yes?" "How much time will it take?" " Your turn's next." "In 5 minutes" "Please Be seated" "And when's my turn coming, darling?" " You?" "What is it?" "Do I say it right here, or do we go out?" "What on earth do you want?" " You!" "You know, had you not Been the doctor's friend..." "I wouldn't ever let you get into this clinic" "You won't let me into the clinic, your hearth, your heart... are you some sort of watchdog?" "Now look..." " I could look all my life" "Right now, the doctor is examining a patient" "I know what sort of patient he examines!" "Well?" "What ailment is it?" "The moment I see you, I go weak in the knees" "Calcium deficiency." " There's a pain in my lower-Back" "You suffer a slipped-disc." " My heart keeps hammering away" "Have your cholesterol checked." " The whole of my Body's on fire!" "Looks like you're running a fever." " Hey... don't spin a yarn" "Now hurry up and come in my arms!" "Please!" "How can I control myself?" "This is no wafer... it's a proper girl!" "Listen... do you know?" "I'm a married man" "So?" "When have I asked you to divorce your wife?" "But you must atleast keep meeting me like old times" "I will." "But not now." " When?" "Next June." " Now!" "June!" " Now!" "Naina!" "Let go!" "somebody help me!" "Naina!" "Let go!" "Let go!" "For God's sake!" "I'm a married man!" "Heave ho!" "Are you all right?" " How dare you!" "But I was only helping you." " Is this what you call help?" "Doctor, tell your friend to Behave himself!" "Insolent!" "How do you tolerate her?" " I'm tolerating this one..." "I'm controlling myself..." "what a great character I have!" "Couldn't you find a proper nurse?" " Catch you later!" "There can't Be a Better nurse than Naina" "She takes care of the clinic, of my food... everything" "Like a good wife." "The only difference is... after work, she goes to her own house." "And I head for Sonia's place" "Great setting!" "Mind-Blowing!" "Sameer, By the time you read this, I will not Be in this world" " Sonia" "Doctor!" "You've got mail!" "Send the male out." "Send the female in!" "It's from Sonia, doctor." " Really?" "What does it say?" "By the time you read this message, I won't Be in this world" " Sonia" "Sorry, sorry..." " Sonia!" "Doctor, how about your appointments?" " Cancel all my appointments!" "Hello!" "Pyare here." "Tell Doctor Uncle that Sonia's still alive" "Sonia's still alive?" "Doctor!" "Dr Sameer?" " Later, later" "Where has the doctor gone?" " I don't know" "And what are you doing?" "How about playing doctor-doctor in there?" "Hey!" "What are you doing?" "I knew it!" "I knew it!" " What did you know?" "You know how many patients I've left Behind?" "And you?" "You're not even dead!" "You're merrily sipping coffee" "I'm sorry." "It hurts you to see me alive, isn't it?" "I know what your problem is!" "I didn't come to your fashion show last night" "But how could I?" "I had an emergency case to attend!" "The poor guy had seventeen fractures in his leg" "He came limping to me..." "in agony!" "Should I have attended to him or watched you on the ramp?" "Lies!" "You went out with your wife" "What?" "When I hate that woman, how can I ever go out with her?" "Give that a thought!" "Think it over!" "Hey!" "Who's that?" "And why's he getting in from the window?" "I'm mending what I wrecked yesterday" "Sameer, that's Pyare." "My new neighbour" "In that case, stay in your house" "Why get into the neighbour's place through the window?" "That too, half-clad?" "So you're Doctor Uncle, the Bone-specialist!" "See?" "Sonia's alive." "Had I not arrived on time yesterday, Sonia would have..." "Really?" " Really?" "Everything else later." "But let me at least thank you first, Pyare-ji" "Thank you, thank you..." "Bye Pyare." " Bye" "Such a grown up girl and you were out to kill yourself Because of me?" "In this day and age, girls claim lives." "They don't lay down their own" "I'm just a Bone-specialist." "An orthopedic surgeon" "And not a very good one at that." "I'm not God to save you!" "Play mindgames with your Boyfriend." "Only mindgames" "Pretend to die..." "But don't really die" "Please don't die" "Sameer... who do I have except you?" "But I'm here for you, am I not?" "I'm here for you!" "I'll marry you." " No, I know you won't marry me" "Of course, I will!" " No!" "I say you will not" "What I mean is that I will." "I will marry you" "Really?" " absolutely" "Lay off, you fraud and cheat!" "I'll never let your scheme work!" " Who's that?" "Pyare?" "Was he saying that to me?" "To me?" "Calm down, Sameer." "Pyare's just a struggling actor" "He's rehearsing his lines." " Really?" "But how will you marry me?" "You already have a wife" "I'm going to divorce the wretch!" " I've seen through you, you fraud!" "You love playing with the lives of innocent girls?" "Rogue!" "Rogue?" "He said that to me!" "Oh no, it's nothing." "It's nothing" "What are you doing?" "Someone might see us" "Who?" " Pyare" "Where did Pyare spring from in our romance?" "Looks like we'll have to spend the week-end out of town!" "This girl has made off with my heart... in just a glimpse, she has given me the high of love" "I want to spend the rest of my life with you... oh my love" "This girl has made off with my heart... in just a glimpse, she has given me the high of love" "I want to spend the rest of my life with you... oh my love" "My heart is smitten By you" "My heart is smitten By you, I'm Bowled over By you" "Your charms are indeed fatal, sweetheart" "Without as much as a word, you've said everything, darling in just a glimpse, you have given me the high of love" "I want to spend the rest of my life with you... oh my love" "Sweetheart, your heartbeat..." "Ever since our hearts are Beating together... it feels as if Spring has arrived in my life" "Without as much as a word, you've said everything, darling in just a glimpse, you have given me the high of love" "I want to spend the rest of my life with you... oh my love" "You're a greater singer." "I hope you can cook as well?" "Of course, why not?" "When we can sing a duet together, we can even cook up a meal together" "You and I" "No, no." "That's your right." "I can't snatch it from you" "You're the one who'll handle the cooking" "Hello." "Sorry to disturb you." "I'm from the management" "How did you find Maldives?" " Beautiful" "Shazia... you?" " You are?" "Sameer Malhotra!" " Oh my God!" "How are you?" "I'm okay" "Sonia, she's my friend Avinash's wife" "How's the old rascal?" " Your friend has divorced me" "Oh, I'm sorry." " But I'm not" "There came another girl into your friend's life, and he walked out on me" "Anyway, please enjoy yourselves." "And let me know if you need anything" "Thank you." " Okay" "The scoundrel!" "The two-timing rascal!" "He was a Bad photographer anyway." "He also turned out to Be a Bad husband" "Why?" "You're also leaving your wife, aren't you?" "But mine is a different case." "Altogether different" "What's different?" "Now look, Sameer." "I want to meet your wife" "You want to meet my wife!" "What for?" "Why?" "Didn't you see the pain in Shazia's eyes?" "I don't want to hurt someone to win over my love" "I've got to meet her once." " Look, it's not possible" "Why not?" " When I say it's not, it's not!" "Because..." " Because what?" "Because... once you get the toothpaste out of a tube... you can't put it Back in" "And my wife's a gone-case!" "She's not coming Back" "You'll take me to her if you love me!" " How?" "I'm not even married!" "There's no wife!" " What?" "You mean you lied to me, Sameer?" "I fell in love with you Because I thought you were an honest man!" "But you've turned out to Be like all the other men!" "I hate you!" "Hating me is all right." "But who are the other men?" "Who are the other men?" "As if anyone commits suicide in such shallow waters!" "Sonia!" "The water's very deep, Sonia!" "You're going to drown!" "I'll introduce you to my wife!" "I will... please come out!" "Sameer... wake up" "When are you introducing me to your wife?" "When are you introducing me to your wife?" "When?" "I will introduce you..." "let the plane land first!" "I'll introduce her to you tomorrow morning" "I promise, I will." "Please go to sleep" "Hello, doctor!" "I'm not a doctor, I'm a nurse" "Are you not a doctor?" " No" "The doctor's on his way." "But what's your problem?" "problem?" "It's my legs!" "It's like they're not there at all" "But how come you're?" " Let's skip the details" "It's a painful story." "Your ear-drums will explode if you hear it" "Really?" "So let's skip it then." " No, how can we skip it?" "Since you've mentioned it, let's get on with it now!" "I was in the army during the Kargil war" "Can you see the scenario?" "During the Kargil war, I got right into Lahore... my gun, spitting fire!" "Soon I saw, I had run out of ammo... and the war was also over!" "I was caught" "For twenty days, they hung me upside down... and kept hitting me in my legs with sticks!" "However..." "look at my spirit!" "My Bones were creaking..." "But I didn't utter a word!" "Control yourself." " Good morning, Naina" "Good morning, doctor!" "This is... what name did you say?" "Thapa." " Yes." "Thapa was in the army" "The enemy Broke his legs." " So you weren't Born with the handicap?" "No." " What's the matter with you then?" "What will I say to you, doctor?" "There's just no sensation or feeling in my lower-half!" "Everything can rise, But not my legs!" "They refuse to work!" "They'll work in a moment." "Give those crutches to me" "C'mon, follow me." " Hey..." "I can't walk!" " I know you can do it!" "C'mon!" "A soldier of the Indian army!" " C'mon over... very good!" "Bravo!" "You're almost there... very good!" "Yes, yes..." "Thanks for the support" "No problem." "Hold this" "But where does every girl think like you?" "People poke fun at me!" "They call me a cripple and a twisted man!" "But you're so different..." "and the most Beautiful" "nobody will say that you ever again." "Now lie down, I want to examine you" "Time's a problem today." "I must join my regiment's pizza party..." "I'll come some other day" "Amazing guys, these soldiers." "All they need is some motivation" "Sameer, when are you introducing me to your wife?" "Tell me..." " Doctor..." "Why's he looking at me like that?" " Very soon" "In fact, you'll meet her tomorrow." " Sure?" "Hundred per cent." "Bye, Sonia" "What's gotten into him all of a sudden?" "Naina..." " Yes?" "Have you arranged for some lunch?" "I've ordered your favourite from the Thai Pavilion" "Cancel that order!" "You and I are going out for lunch" "Are you really talking to me?" "Yes." "There's no else around." "Is there, Naina?" "No, But in the last five years, you've never..." "I mean..." "Sure, five years." "But I've finally invited you, see?" "I'm famished." "Shall we go?" " Of course, let me change and come!" "Where to?" "In there, of course." "I'm sorry." " What a yawn!" "Isn't it amazing?" "I invited you to lunch... you chose the restaurant and even ordered the food" "Guess why." " Why?" "That's Because you've gotten to know me so well" "And I don't know anything about you." "So tell me something about your life, Naina" "about my life?" " Yes" "Mine's a very interesting life, doctor" " Really?" "From 10 in the morning to 8 in the evening, I'm with you at the clinic" "At 8:30, I get home and Bathe till 9" "From 9 to 9:30 I cook, and finish my dinner By 10" "At ten I start watching the Discovery channel... and I go to sleep" "At 6 in the morning, Ramu arrives and wakes me up lovingly and..." "Ramu?" " The milkman" "At 7, I get ready and leave for work at 8" "From ten to eight, I spend time at the clinic with you..." "Listen, sir, it's interesting..." " Oh yes, very interesting life, Naina!" "Why do I get the feeling that if I ever faced a problem in life... you'd surely help me out?" " You're not wrong at all, doctor" "You can try me out anytime" "That's exactly why I've called you here today" "Naina..." " Yes?" "Will you Be my wife?" "I?" "She's actually Blushing!" "Naina, Naina..." "it's only for half an hour" "Say 15 minutes?" "Okay!" "10 minutes!" "Are you kidding?" " No, I'm terribly serious" "Aren't you ashamed?" "You've flirted with so many girls and now... you think I'm one of them?" " No!" "You're getting it all wrong!" "All wrong!" " You made it so clear... and you say I'm getting it wrong?" " Don't you know?" "I tell every girl that I'm a married man" "Is anyone listening?" "So they won't cling to me later." " That is your problem" "No, that's not my problem." "My problem is that I've fallen in love with Sonia" "And she wants to meet my wife, who..." " Just doesn't exist" "I can't do it, doctor." " Why not?" "Why not!" "Because I can't deceive someone!" "But this is not deceiving..." " I say, I can't do it." "And that's it!" "Please!" "For the sake of my happiness!" "No, doctor." "Your happiness lies in your own hands" "All I hold in my hands is your appointments diary... the patients' list and the things you use... or want to use" "Thank you for the lunch, sir" "Where will I get a wife for half an hour?" "Sonia, my wife died last night." "I Buried her this morning!" "That won't work..." "so what am I going to do?" "Aunt!" "We want an ice-cream!" "Give them what they want, please" "Listen, don't go anywhere." "I'll Be Back in a moment, okay?" "Don't move." "Okay?" "Promise?" " Promise" "Bye... come Back soon!" "Mrs Naina Malhotra." " Hi, I'm Sonia." "Nice to meet you" "Very nice to meet you." "Sameer said you wanted to meet me" "That's right." "Shall we move there and have a chat?" "Sameer said the two of you want to get married?" "That's right." "But unless you..." "you understand what I mean, no?" "Oh, of course!" "The divorce papers are ready." "It'll come through soon enough" "Don't worry." " I'm sorry, But..." "I can't tell you how happy I am!" "But you're not sad..." "are you, Mrs Malhotra?" "Oh, call me Naina!" "So far, I've lived only for Sameer." "And now, I want to live for myself" "I want my freedom" "May I ask you a question?" " Sure." "Please!" "Do you really love Sameer?" " I can even die for him" "In fact, I even tried to twice." " Really?" "Will you ever Be able to forget Sameer?" "Oh yes, here's this man I've spent years with..." "looked after his food habits, his small needs... picked up his handkerchiefs, put up with his lifestyle... it's going to Be a Bit difficult." "But that's okay, don't worry about it" "Naina, you're very sweet" "For you." " No, I can't take it" "You must." "It's a gift from me." "Please keep it" "Thank you" "You're very sweet too." " Thank you" "Sameer's a lucky guy." "Thank you" "Here I come... hold on!" "I'm so sorry!" "I'm late, ain't I?" "Since you're angry with me, I'll eat up the ice-cream!" "C'mon, c'mon!" "Let's go" "Looks like she's taking a Bath." "A Bath!" "Bathing in there, Sonia?" "Wouldn't it Be fun... if you and I Bathed together... taking the showers to Be a spell of rain?" "What do you think, Sonio?" "Please tell me" "What are you doing here?" " I was doing my exercise" "obviously, I was Bathing in the Bathroom" "Take a Bath in your Bathroom!" "Where's Sonia?" "What?" "Sameer... don't Be angry." "There's no water in his Bathroom" "I see!" "One Building, one water-tank, one connection... and there's no water in his Bathroom?" "Please explain" "That's Because my pipe is choked" "I see." "Guess what, Sonia?" "Are you going to stand around naked all day?" "I'm leaving!" "I know, the sight of my physique gives you the creeps" "Feeling insecure, aren't you?" "Bye." " Bye." "Sameer, I made a new friend yesterday." "She's such a sweet girl" "Introduce me to her." "You introduce them only to Pyare" "Why not me and a sweetie pie?" " But you've met her already" "Have I?" " Naina" "Naina?" "The name rings a Bell" "Idiot!" "Naina, your wife!" " Was Naina here?" "Did Naina come and see you?" "!" "I realised after meeting her what mistakes we can make" "You did, didn't you?" "What a Big mistake I made By marrying Naina!" "No, it's my mistake." "I'm Breaking your home" "I'm a terrible person, right?" "Sonia, my marriage was already on the rocks, even Before you arrived" "Your arrival has saved my life" "Else, I'd surely have died, attempting suicide again and again like you" "So how about the kids?" "Sameer, when a marriage Breaks... and a divorce takes place, it takes a terrible toll on the children" "You're right!" "absolutely right" "The children's mental Balance must not Be tampered with!" "We'll never tell our children about my previous marriage" "I'm not talking about the children who're not Born" "What about those who're already there?" " What?" "You have children?" "!" "Not my children." "Your children." " My children?" "Where did they spring from?" " Sameer, you're too much!" "Just Because you fought with your wife, are you going to spurn your children too?" "Two lovely children!" " Two?" "So Naina came with the kids?" " Yes" "Smart!" " Sameer, I want to meet your children" "I want to shower my love on them." " Their dad's standing right here... meet their dad, shower your love on their father!" "No, I'll have to meet them after the marriage, isn't it?" "I want to play with them, take them out... come to think of it, they'll get love from two mothers!" "No need to give them extra love!" "The love of one mother... has spoilt them so much, they don't recognise their father!" "You're not meeting them!" " Really?" "I'm not meeting them?" "No?" " No!" "Sonia!" "Sonia!" "Where are you?" "Hey!" "What are you doing in here?" "I Broke in from the window to save her life" "Had you used your Brains, you could've saved her life too" "It's only common sense." " What common sense?" "Nonsense!" "What nonsense?" "You fall in love and I pull the rescuing act?" "Here's your love." "Take over!" " Can't you carry her to the couch?" "Look at this guy!" "The children..." " Yes, I'll take you to the children... provided you give up this childishness!" "Please!" "Really?" " Really" "I'm so happy now!" " Are you?" "There was this King, okay?" "And he had two queens..." "Why does every king have two queens?" "I don't know, go to sleep." "It's late in the night... and you have your exams tomorrow." "Hurry up and go to sleep." "Not a sound!" "What if we don't sleep?" " You'll get a thrashing" "Wait till I get there!" "Sir?" "You?" " Sir, sir, sir?" "You made me Bow my head out of shame today!" "I?" " You hid from me... the fact that you have two children!" "Without even getting married!" "You're a Bigger liar than me!" " That's enough, sir, enough" "They're my sister's children, not mine" "My sister and her husband are getting a divorce, so they're here... at the hostel and spend the weekend with me." "You're just raving away... this is not done!" " I'm sorry, I'm sorry" "But why did you have to take the two of them to Sonia?" "She now thinks you're my wife and they're our children!" "That should make you happy!" "It makes your drama even Better" "Better?" "Bullshit!" "And Bullshit's never any good." "It's always Bullshit!" "And Sonia now wants to meet these two Bullshit kids!" "But what will the kids say to Sonia?" " Lies" "Lies?" "No way!" "These children will not say any lies to anyone" "What effect will it have on their delicate minds?" "Have you ever thought what effect it's all having on my delicate romance?" "It's just for tomorrow." " Tomorrow?" "No way!" "They got their exams tomorrow!" "How could they?" "The skies won't fall if they flunk their exams" "I'll hire them as compounders." "They'll play in the compound" "Aunty, since he's insisting so much, say yes to him" "Else, he just won't let us sleep" "In any case, it'd Be Better if we don't appear for the exams tomorrow" "What have you taught us anyway?" "Now look..." "These kids?" "I think they'll lie through their teeth to Sonia!" "Sonia's going to Be very happy." "Come to me, kids... come to me!" "Go to your room!" "At once!" " At once, okay" "Okay, sir, you'll have the kids..." " Thank you" "But why am I doing all this?" "Why?" " It's like this, Naina" "There's no answer to every why and how come in life" "Hi!" "Here are the kids!" "Now don't ask to see their kids" "Children, whom do you like more Between Mummy and Daddy?" "Tell her." " Neither of them!" "What?" "Now let me ask you a question" "How do children come into this world?" "Children are God's gifts." "An angel descends from the skies... with the baby wrapped in rose-petals... gives the baby to the mother and goes away" "Hear that?" " What?" "She doesn't know a thing!" "Only you could have such children!" "I'll fetch something for them to eat" "How could you say that to her?" " Uncle, nice girl you've scored with!" "Uncle, he snatched my ice-cream!" " You ought to Be ashamed!" "Go on, son." " Thank you, Uncle" "Aren't you ashamed to take other people's children out, Uncle?" "Shut up now, will you?" " Uncle?" "Other people's children?" "What's all this about?" "What will I say, Sonia?" "Their mother has taught them... to call me uncle and call her Boyfriend Papa!" "Does Naina even have a Boyfriend?" " That's why I'm leaving her" "How I've yearned to hear them call me Papa!" "Do you know Naina's Boyfriend?" " No." "I don't want to, either" "But I want to meet him." " But why?" "Whatever for?" "We must see what sort of a man he is, else lives will Be ruined" "I'd Be so glad to see Naina's life Being ruined" "Not Naina's life." "The children's lives" "If he turns out to Be a nasty man, won't the children's lives suffer?" "I got to meet him" "Got to meet him." "Got to!" "You first said I was your wife, then the mother of two children." "Now?" "Aren't you ashamed at all?" " Of course I'm ashamed!" "I'm so ashamed, I'm hiding my face!" "And Begging you... just once, just once, if Sonia sees you with a man... all my problems in life will Be solved!" "No, your problem won't Be solved." "Don't ask me to do it, I can't!" "Please... for my sake!" "For your doctor's sake!" "I'll never ask you for anything ever again!" "Promise?" " Promise" "But where will we get a guy from?" " Do you have a friend or Boyfriend?" "I have no Boyfriends." "You'll have to find one" "Found him!" " Who?" "My friend..." "I have just one friend!" "That..." " That..." "Vicky?" "No way!" "I can't..." "God, my name's at last on the lady's lips" "Think of the devil and here he is" "Is there a problem?" " No problem at all" "You'll have to play Naina's Boyfriend for a few days" "I'm willing to do it for a lifetime!" " Acting... he'll only Be acting!" "I'll get into the skin of the role..." "and never come out of it!" "I'm going out..." "to wash my hands" "That sort of Behaviour is going to affect my performance" "For my sake... please?" " Okay" "What am I doing at such a Boring place?" " But I'm having a Ball" "What will you have?" "Whisky, rum, vodka, gin?" "I don't drink all that." " But I will, okay?" "Don't cling to me!" "We're only play-acting." "Behave yourself!" "I'm an actor!" "I get into the skin of the character and never come out!" "Waiter!" "Get me a large vodka with orange juice." " Plain orange juice for me, please" "Look!" "Your wife!" " Oh my God!" "She's with her Boyfriend!" " Boyfriend?" "Wasn't a six-Bedroom house Big enough?" "That she had to flog my reputation in public?" "Disgraceful woman!" "You should've atleast waited for the divorce to come through!" "I can't Bear to see all this." "Let's go, Sonia" "No!" "Let's see what they're upto" "Must Be romancing, what else!" "I wish I were dead, Before I saw a day like this!" "Vicky, get closer to me, will you?" " Don't tell me!" "You're game already?" " Stupid... they're here" "How I hate this!" " Now just watch my performance" "Attention everybody!" "Hello, ladies and gentlemen!" "I dedicate this lovely evening to my future wife, Naina!" "The food and Beverages are all on the house!" "Thank you, thank you" "You were hamming away!" " Was it too much?" "You're Buying everybody liquor, Vicky, ." "Do you have money even for a Beer?" " Hasn't Sameer given you any money?" "He has." " So give it to me" "What happened?" "So what if I'm an actor?" "Have I no respect at all?" "Look, he's taking money from Naina!" " Oh my God!" "From under the table!" "Give it to me!" "What a cheapskate!" " My money, that is!" "Why would you give her any money?" " We're still married, you see" "She keeps threatening me... that she won't love my children if I don't give her the money!" "And look at him gulping down large drinks with my little children's money!" "Why're you looking like that me?" "I'm feeling scared" "Know what?" "You got two ears and two eyes" "everybody does!" " Really?" "But you have two noses!" "And two glasses!" "No wonder I couldn't get a kick!" "I drank plain orange-juice and you drank up my vodka!" "What?" " This hotel's going round and round!" "Steady, steady..." "Not me, idiot!" "Steady the hotel!" " Now how will I steady the hotel?" "Are they watching?" " Yes" "So let me give you a kiss..." "Vicky, Vicky?" "That's my girl... my girlfriend." "Got to go..." "let go!" "What were you upto?" " I'll explain in a quiet corner" "What was I doing?" "She was the one doing whatever there was!" "But who's she?" " She's... my producer" "She's producing my forthcoming film." "The title is, Bodies... and Bodies" "Disgusting!" " No, even families can watch it... separately, that is." "Got to do it, you know" "If I make her happy..." "my life will Be made" "I got to go through the grind to make it as a hero" "My shoes are worn out, my lips are Being worn out today..." "I don't know what else I'm going to wear out" "You understand, don't you?" "You do understand?" "I love you!" "I love you!" "Bye, Bye!" "Sameer, your wife's Boyfriend was romancing with another girl!" "This is too much!" "Forget it." " How can we forget it?" "What effect will it have if any man Becomes your children's step-father?" "Come, let's reason with him." "Doctor!" "This is my new Boyfriend." " Doctor, you're a great guy!" "You gave me your wife and also two ready made children!" "No hassles of pregnancy!" " Shut up!" "You're flirting with another women when my wife is around?" "What does my wife lack?" "If she lacks nothing, why are you leaving her?" "Yes, answer that!" "Speak up!" " Shut up!" "You ingrate!" "I've tended to Naina as if she were a tender rose!" "If she as much as sheds a tear after your marriage..." "I'll make sure you have a Bleeding nose!" "Nice indeed!" "Drive a second-hand car and even listen to his abuses!" "Whom did he call second-hand?" "Bye!" "Sameer, just leave Naina." " I already have" "Only the divorce has to come through." " I mean, drop her home" "He's not a nice guy." " Who'll drop you home then?" "I'm absolutely sober and Naina's not in her senses" "Go on." "She's still your wife." "Go..." "Go on" "My veil slips away... my anklets chime... my Bangles tinkle..." "Oh, this restlessness..." "I'm indeed Bitten By the love-Bug" "I'm indeed Bitten By the love-Bug" "Ever since I've met you, something has stirred in my heart" "I'm indeed Bitten By the love-Bug" "I'm indeed Bitten By the love-Bug" "I was lonely at heart..." "I was a mystery even to myself" "I wonder what has come over me... all I feel is a high everywhere" "You charms are quite something else today... you sure are lost to yourself" "Oh, this restlessness..." "I'm indeed Bitten By the love-Bug" "What ecstasy takes over?" "My heart's in a strange Bind" "I'm going astray, my resolve is Beginning to wilt" "There's craziness in the air... we're going astray, our youthfulness is compelling" "Oh, this restlessness..." "I'm indeed Bitten By the love-Bug" "My veil slips away... my anklets chime... my Bangles tinkle..." "Oh, this restlessness..." "I'm indeed Bitten By the love-Bug" "I'm indeed Bitten By the love-Bug" "A gift?" "Wow, Sameer!" "It's a sari!" "This is the sari you'll wear when you meet my mother" "Will it do if I wear a Bikini?" " Will do" "Provided you wear it inside the sari." " Okay" "So the doctor has finally wooed you!" " What do you mean?" "I always thought you were a girl with a lot of self-respect" "So I am." "You doubt that?" "It's a question of rights!" "The doctor is still not divorced" "His wife has a greater right to this sari" "You can keep it, if you wish to..." "But wouldn't it Be Better if you had accepted it after the marriage, right?" "Think!" " I think he's right" "Excuse me, ma'am." " Yes?" "There's a parcel for Mrs Naina Malhotra" "Yes, okay" "I love you" " Sameer" "Lie down." " I Beg you, I don't want to Be cured" "I can't let you leave without a cure." " But you can't twist my arm!" "If God wants me to lead the life of a cripple... it's okay with me." "What's your problem?" "God wants you to get well." "So lie down" "God has His will." "You have a will And so do I!" "I want to limp to death!" "Try to get the depth of what I'm saying, doctor!" "I'm enjoying Being a cripple." "I'm very happy with myself" "Even if you cure my legs, you're going to do the walking... not me!" "All right, lie down." "I'll take an x-ray" "What will you do with an x-ray?" "Please try to understand, doctor!" "What a stubborn doctor!" "I hope he doesn't chop off my limbs!" "Give me Thapa's file, will you?" " What?" "Thapa's file" "Thank you." " You're welcome" "This is Kumar's file." " Sorry, doctor" "Sorry." " It's okay" "Thank you" "What's this?" " What?" "How could it Be?" " Is it a new disease?" "This is impossible!" " What is it?" "A cancer in my legs?" "Tell me something, will you?" " Oh no!" "At least tell me how many more days I've got, doctor!" "What's happening to me?" "My legs are all right, what's he worked up about?" "Is this a hospital or a garage?" "Look, Sonia!" "How I draw the rich and the famous!" "Hello everybody!" "Very loud music, you see." "Got to change the DJ" "But let's groove to it." "C'mon" "Excuse me, mister." "A photo, please?" "No photo... this is my private time!" "How these guys disturb us!" "They're crawling everywhere!" "Not your photograph." "I want you to photograph us together" "I don't take pictures of animals." " Animals?" "C'mon, baby!" "Let's enjoy" "He's playing hero with that girl." "I'm not taking the picture" "Hey hero... that's my drink." " But I ordered it" "I don't care for your order!" " I placed... the order" "Let go!" " May I?" "I let go!" "What are you doing?" "Make him see reason, auntie!" "She looks like an auntie to you?" "Auntie socked Uncle!" "Pyare!" "Go and hit Back!" "Me?" "Get into a fight?" "But I'm a chocolate hero!" "Get up!" "Let him go." " Get lost!" "I've Been saying I'm sorry, you just won't let go!" "Save him!" " I will, I will... nice punch" "Tell me something." "Why did you give Naina the gift I gave you?" "Until you and Naina are divorced, she has a right to everything that's yours" "Really?" "Who keeps giving you such Bright ideas?" "Pyare." " Pyare?" "No, not my face!" " Why not?" "I make a living out of it." "That's why" "So where do I hit you?" " Here, here, here... or even here" "Save me from this Beast, will you?" "Freeze there!" "Why fight a kid?" "Fight someone your size!" "Him?" "My foot he'll save you!" " He called you a coward!" "Chicken!" "No reaction" "Just chill, chill..." "just chill" "Let our hearts come together, my love... just chill, chill..." "just chill" "Sweetheart, let our hearts come together... just chill, chill..." "just chilli" "I love you ardently too..." "so encourage me, will you?" "Just chill, chill..." "just chill" "When dusk sets in... it awakens my desires" "Yours is the spell that is cast on me... sweetheart" "Without you, I like nothing" "I see only your face..." "everywhere" "You possess killer charms, my love" "Just chill, chill..." "just chill" "Kiss me, sway with me... there's fun in this mischief" "Only those who have fallen in love know... that love is nothing But a high" "It's difficult to reason with the heart, my love... just chill, chill..." "just chill" "I love you ardently too..." "so encourage me, please" "Just chill, chill..." "just chill" "Let our hearts get together..." "Good night." " Good night?" "As if I'm going to let you off so easily" "It must Be dark on the staircase." "I'll see you off at the door" "Don't worry, I'm with her." "I'll take her in the lift" "I made a mistake By giving you a lift" "Darling... coffee!" "Treat me to a cup of coffee!" "Hello!" "This happens to Be a house, not a cafeteria!" "Darling, the next time he's with you, I'm not going out with you anywhere" "In any case, the next time we meet will Be when you're divorced" "No coffee, no tea, no me" "That's the Indian girl!" "She's send the doc in a twirl!" "So get going." " Sonia..." "I forgot to tell you something." " What?" "I'm divorcing Naina in the court at 10 on Monday morning" "So I'll watch the divorce proceedings with you at the court on Monday!" "And later at eleven, I'll have a cup of coffee with you." "Okay?" "Run out of gas, haven't you?" "You look so happy!" "What's the problem?" "I told Sonia I'm getting divorced in the court at ten on Monday" "She also wants to attend." "She has called ten times already" "There... that's the eleventh call" "Hello, Sonia." " What time?" "9:30" " Monday morning, right?" "Yes, Monday morning." "Okay?" "Bye" "So take her along!" " But what court?" "Now, is your marriage real or fake?" " Fake" "Your wife's real or fake?" " Fake" "The divorce is fake?" " Fake" "So why can't we fake a court?" " What rubbish" "I'm talking about a filmi court!" " What a fantastic idea!" "Doctor, you weren't keeping too well." "Isn't it?" "Here's Vicky... with a cure" "I have a cure for you, too" "As long as you're the disease, a cure's very difficult" "Listen, Naina." "For the last time, you must put on an act with me on Monday" "No, doctor." "No..." " We'll finally Be divorced" "Really?" " Really" "After that, you and I will get married." "Love you" "I'll have to wash my hand again!" " Will she take a Bath if I embrace her?" "Tell your wife how she's supposed to Behave with her Boyfriend" "Wow!" "I can hear the Bells ringing!" "You look solid!" "I'm going the court." "Sameer's divorce is coming through today" "Here comes the spoilsport." " What?" "The Bone-specialist!" "Congrats on your divorce." " Thank you" "I'm going with you too." " Where to?" "To the court." " What for?" "I've seen a lot of weddings in my lifetime!" "But I've never seen a divorce!" "I have a lot of problems anyway" "To make it worse, Mom's arriving from punjab" "And I can't make up my mind, must I go and recieve my mother... or go to the court and divorce Mrs Naina Malhotra" "Pyare will receive your mother!" "You will, won't you Pyare?" "Anything for you!" " Step here, please" "Uncle, how am I going to recognise your mother?" "You want some identification?" " Yes" "Now look there... you'll recognise her all right!" "That must Be the doctor's mother!" "A woman travels 30 hours from punjab to meet her son... and you demand to see her ticket?" "You ask a mother for a ticket?" "Ass!" "What if I were your mother?" " Forgive me, lady..." "I'll never ask a mother to show me her ticket again." "I swear it on my Mom!" "What was that one for?" " You won't ask a mother for her ticket?" "Do you own the railways?" "Here's the ticket" "Now where's my Sameer?" " I've recognised you!" "Sameer's Mummy, right?" "I'm his friend, Pyare" "Whoever you are, makes no difference to me!" "Just tell me where my son is!" " He can't come today" "He's getting divorced!" "What was that one for?" " Before a divorce... there's got to Be a marriage." "You understand?" "What a moron!" "He doesn't know!" " But your son is already married" "And he's getting divorced today." " God Almighty!" "My son got married and he's even getting divorced today... and there I was in punjab, tending to the family Business!" "Which court is giving them a divorce?" "Take me there, will you?" "Keep your mouth shut and let's hurry up Before it's too late" "Attention ye all..." "The Emperor of India, Jal Al Ud-din AkBar... cometh" "What's he talking about?" " I couldn't find anyone else" "The last movie he did was Moghul-E-Azam" "Those are the lines he repeats." "I'll deduct it from his fee" "Let the proceedings Begin" "Sir, the marriage of Sameer and Naina has hit a roadblock" "So let me question her" "Naina-ji..." " Yes?" "When did you realise that you could no longer live with this scoundrel?" "The very next day of the marriage." " Don't tell me!" "So why did you tolerate him all these years?" "It's so disgusting, Your Honour." "However Bad a government is... we have to tolerate it for five years!" "Order!" "Order" "So Sameer, what problem did you have with her?" "Mr Judge, what does a man look for in his wife?" "He wants her to cook like his mother... and love him in Bed, like his girlfriend" "But her case was just the opposite, sir!" "In the kitchen, she loved me like my girlfriend and said..." "Darling, I'm not in the mood to cook today" "Why don't we order the food from outside?" "And in Bed, she used to scream at me like my mother!" "Go to sleep, it's very late." "You got to leave for work in the morning" "What sort of a marriage is this, sir?" " Amazing!" "Is this what happened?" "Say something... anything" "He used to chase other girls!" "If a girl showed him her finger, he reached for her hand!" "And if a girl showed him her hand, he..." "Never mind, it's okay..." " I won't Be able to say it" "That's not the way he is, sir!" " Thank you, Sonia" "When a man has starved for five years... won't he go Berserk in a sweetmeat shop?" "You tell me, sir!" " Silence!" "nobody's going to talk about sweetmeat here" "I suffer from diabetes" "Sorry to hear that, sir" "Drive slowly, lady..." "you want to get me killed?" "Watch out, will you?" "!" "Let me drive in peace, Pyare" "Don't stand up, please!" "Mr Sameer, how did you feel when you got to know... that your wife is having an affair with another man?" "I felt as if someone was enjoying a feast in a five-star hotel... and I was footing the Bill." " What I mean is... when did you get to know that she was having an affair with someone else?" "Two years ago, sir." "One night, when she was sleeping with me... she murmured, Sweetheart, I love your moustache" "I actually liked what she said." "Then I was startled!" "Hell!" "I had no moustache!" "Mr Sameer, a moustache is the symbol of a true man" "Is it just a moustache that you don't have?" "Or aren't you a real male at all?" " objection, Your Honour!" "objection, Your Honour!" "Sameer is a true male." "I know it" "Sameer is a true male." "I know it" "What's happening here?" "everybody's raising objections!" "Watch it, lady!" "We'll go to the heavens, not the court!" "Worry not, son!" "I set out in style..." "I leave 'em all Behind, round the Bend" "Just don't Be afraid." "Don't." " You're going to kill a kid!" "Mr Malhotra, if you are divorced, who will the children live with?" "They'll live with me." " No, Your Honour!" "The children will live with me!" "They mean the life to me!" "Don't separate my children from me, please!" "Have you gone crazy?" "Keep the children with you!" "By all means!" "I appeal to you to give my children to him." "Please, Your Honour!" "No, Your Honour!" "I'm sorry, I just got selfish!" "Who else But a mother can take good care of the children?" "Let her keep the children" "Sir, this is no marriage, it's a coalition government... of so many political parties, it can never last!" "It's like a rotten movie that's going on and on... without getting over!" "It's like a cricket match where there's a downpour after every over!" "It's like a car without Brakes, running over people... someone might get killed!" " Please stop it!" "Please... grant them a divorce" "Please grant them a divorce." " Please!" "Out of the way, everybody!" "She's lost her marbles... she's going to get me killed!" "There's the court... are you going to drive into it?" "Doctor, the real courtroom drama Begins now!" "Victory to the doctor's mother!" "There's going to Be no divorce!" "Who's snatching my daughter-in-law from me?" "What are you doing here, Mom?" " Mom!" "Shameless Boy!" "You first get married without telling me... and now you're even getting a divorce!" "You're posing obstacles in the court's proceedings" "Just keep your mouth shut!" "I've driven several crows like you away!" "No divorce is taking place!" " What's happening in my court?" "But Ma, the judge has delivered his verdict" "A mother's verdict holds more importance than a judge's" "She?" "What a good date, son!" "My daughter-in-law is so sweet!" " Ma!" "The whole of punjab and Haryana would sway to her smile" "In this love-story, there can Be an interval..." "But The End must never come" "Shall we?" "Sweetheart... in our duel of love... my Bangles dug into my wrist" "My Bangles dug into my wrist" "Sweetheart... in our duel of love..." "I had to stay up in Bed all alone" "I stayed up in Bed all alone" "Every moment, I desire you" "Your charm steals my very Being" "Oh, your hennaed palms" "And the way you Blush" "Yes, I shied away... from the duel of love..." "But the Bangles dug into my wrist" "Impatience drove me crazy" "The moonbeam set my heart racing... as it fell like a thunder... and I squirmed and writhed through the night" "I lost my sleep... in the duel of love" "I stayed up in Bed all alone" "Sweetheart... in our duel of love..." "I stayed up in Bed all alone" "My Bangles dug into my wrist" "Sameer, what are you doing on the sofa?" "Get up" "Ma, I'm sleeping, let me sleep." "I'm tired of telling lies" "Go and relax in your wife's arms, it'll refresh you." "Get up" "I've Been doing that for five years." "I want to rest in your lap tonight" "Sing a lullaby for me." " I'll kill myself... if you don't go to her." "Get up" "And listen!" "God helps those who help themselves" "Go inside, get lost!" "Go and win her over" "It's my Lord!" "Can I Be of any service?" "Shall I clean your feet?" "Or shall I massage your head?" "What all must I do in this Bedroom?" "Tell me, please" "Naina, I'm sorry But I'm not at fault." "Ma..." "Look, don't find faults with her" "It's your mistake." "Also mine, in some way" "Any mother would do this much for her son's happiness" "It started as a joke and things have reached a height now" "Fake wife, fake children, fake marriage, pretended laughter... paying respects to your mother and taking her Blessings" "All those things that a woman dreams to do... have Become a joke for me" "I don't understand what I must..." "Look Naina, I know that... to keep Ma and Sonia happy..." "I've hurt you Badly" "However, I never hid anything from you... though I used you" "I'm sorry" "If you think, you've had enough, and if you want to leave... you certainly can" "You may leave" "Go" "You are very Bad" "I know." "Thank you, Naina" "Ma, everything is fine!" "Sonia, here are the divorce papers!" "Naina has signed them" "I'll get a divorce in 20 days, and we'll marry on the 21 st" "Pyare?" "Yes, it's me" "Which nightgown would you prefer for the night, Sonia?" "This one?" "Or this one?" "This one." " Okay" "What are you doing here?" "And what are you doing with Sonia's nighties?" "I'm not wearing them, I'm packing them" "Pyare is so sweet." "See, he's helping me do the packing" "Packing?" "Where are you going?" " abroad" "For a shoot." " When?" "Tonight." " Tonight?" "Where?" "dubai." " For how many days?" "Only seven days." "Want to come along?" "I wish I could!" "But for the appointments and patients" "Sonia, anything else you'd like for the nights?" "No, that will Be all." " Son, I'll pack your things some day" "And I'll have you mailed to a place from where you can never return" "Uncle, why delay then?" "Do it now" "Lay off" "Sameer, why do you flare up on Pyare?" "Because I can't flare up on you" "You are going away for a week!" " Only a week" "Not only a week, it's seven days!" "It could even Be TEN days!" "Shall I come there?" " No, uncle!" "If he ever falls ill, send him over to me" "Okay, done" "I've packed some cashew nuts too." "The vitamin tonic is very important" "Give me the water Bottle." "Did you pack his undergarments?" "I've packed them." " Well done, very good" "She's going to PunjaB" "Ma, are you going to PunjaB?" "Please don't go, Ma" "I'm not going to PunjaB." "I'm sending you and Naina abroad, for a honeymoon" "I can't stand Naina till the gate, and you want me to go abroad with her, Ma?" "Son, in a marriage, if love goes cold... you must season it with romance and refreshen it" "What are you doing there, dear?" "Go abroad, shower your husband with lots of kisses... and win him Back" "But Ma..." " No Buts." "Keep your mouth shut" "And hold the tickets." " I don't want to go" "I know you will send me on a pilgrimage" "Hey!" "This is the place where Sonia is going!" "Ma, you are a little late, But you are great!" "I knew it, son, you'd never turn me down" "Naina, let's go, darling" "Thank you, Mom." " You're welcome" "I'll Be Back" "Ma is really amazing." "I did a quick packing, you know?" "By the way, where are we going?" " Not we" "I'm going alone" "Well?" "You are kidding, aren't you?" "Aren't you?" "But how will you go all alone on a honeymoon?" "Why all alone?" "Luckily, Sonia is already there" "I get it." "I stay Back, you fly" "Right." " Okay." "Anything else?" "Sure." "You won't go out of the house until I return." "Else, Ma will see you" "Here's your Bag." " Anything else?" "You tell me." "What do I get for you?" "A husband, who never lies" "You'll have to find him for yourself." "All right?" "Bye" "Bye" "Have a good trip." " I will" "See ya." " Bye" "Lucky girl Sonia" "The twists and turns in our love-story... the world will remember every moment" "The twists and turns in our love-story... the world will remember every moment" "Stop!" "Watch it" "It's a love-triangle" "The twists and turns in our love-story... the world will remember every moment" "Come, let's go someplace far away" "Every one is envious of us" "Let's elude every eye" "Let's merge into the colour of love" "I'll Buy you Bangles... that the world will remember" "The twists and turns in our love-story... the world will remember every moment" "Stay away!" "Don't jam in" "Or, you will Be thrashed" "The twists and turns in our love-story... the world will remember every moment" "undoubtedly... only I have the right to her" "Time will tell... who wins her" "This game of love is not a joke... the world will remember that every moment" "The twists and turns in our love-story... the world will remember every moment" "Stop!" "Watch it" "It's a love-triangle" "What are you doing in dubai?" " Why?" "Does your father own dubai?" "Don't you abuse my father!" " Why are you guys Brawling?" "Pyare is here to help me at the shoot, as a friend" "Ask your friend to Beat it since your Boyfriend is here now" "Please go away." " I won't." "What will you do?" "Look Pyare, I might even hit you." " Try raising a finger at me!" "Look Pyare, I might even kill if I lose it" "Kill?" "Try touching me with your nail!" " Forget it, Sameer" "Pyare is quite tough." " Is he?" "All right." "I think it was my mistake." "Forget it" "Mistake?" "What mistake?" "Tell me" "My mistake!" "I should've thrashed you long ago" "Are you all right?" "You hit me?" "Mistake." "Hit me if you want" "Uncle, this is what you call love-and-hit relationship" "Sonia, you look so pretty." "You just needed a hat" "How sweet!" "Thank you." "Pyare, are you trying to flirt with my girlfriend?" "I wish..." "It is Pyare's gift!" " I'll smash it... and throw it in the water" "Sameer, what have you done?" "I have to wear it for the shoot" "Get my hat Back" "Forget the hat, and give me a small kiss" "One who Brings my hat Back gets a kiss" "Excuse me!" "He loves me so much!" "Look, he just jumped" "That's good." "He'll Bring the hat" "Then he's the one who gets the kiss." " One who gets the hat?" "Pyare, hurry" "Jump" "Sameer, quickly" "Go, Pyare" "Go, Sameer" "My kiss!" "Give me Back my shorts!" "My shorts!" "Not fair, Sonia." "Me and you..." "Gopi, you are slow, ass!" "Hurry up" "I was checking the trousers" "This one's fine." "Gopi, Buy a kurta for yourself" "Lady... isn't that Naina?" "How can Naina Be here?" " Wear your glasses" "Get Back home!" "Daughter-in-law..." "Did you see properly?" " Of course" "Are you sure?" " Dead sure" "Where's she?" "Beats me" "Gopi, did you see properly?" "Was she really Naina?" "Yes lady, it was Naina" "Gopi, where are you?" "Take me to my daughter-in-law's house" "Yes, lady." "But I don't know where she lives" "308, Milton Apartments, Juhu Koliwada, mumbai 49" "Let's hurry then" "What's this?" "Not even all your marks add up to 35 percent" "That's it!" "The two of you are going to Boarding school." "Final" "No Mummy" "Please Mummy, we don't want to go" "Ma-ji... you?" "Here?" "What?" "What's this?" "You have kids too?" "No Ma-ji, actually..." "My son's a rascal, and his wife too turned out to Be a liar" "Sameer lied to me and went abroad" "You too hid away from me" "That's fine, But the other day I saw you at the shopping mall" "Where did you hide my sweet grandchildren?" "No Ma-ji, please listen to me... they are..." "No Buts, keep your mouth shut" "I was unfortunate, I had two fixed deposits in my account... and I was desiring the principal." "I won't spare Sameer" "Look at his eyes... hasn't he taken after his grandfather?" "What?" " I'm so happy today" "So happy that, if I had my way..." "I'd declare a public holiday all over India" "Grandmother's Day!" " She's so funny!" "Thanks for the extra holiday" "Sameer, get up" "When will you introduce me to your mother?" "When will you introduce me to your mother?" "When will you introduce me to your mother?" "When?" "I will, I will" "Won't you wait till the plane lands?" "I will introduce you tomorrow." "Now sleep, please" "Now please sleep" "Welcome Back, son." " It was great fun, Ma" "But I missed you a lot." " All alone?" "Where's your wife?" "I dropped her, Ma." " Shut up, shameless chap" "I sent you with her so that you'd love her and placate her" "I know, Ma." "Well, I can't hide anything from you now... you are grown up." "Know what, Ma?" "She doesn't know how to love" "During lovemaking, she's like an ascetic in a trance... eyes shut, Breath held... she just doesn't know the art of lovemaking" "Thank God we don't have kids." "Had we any kids... well, how could we have kids?" "She has no idea how they come" "Look Behind you." " Ma... like all great men, I have sworn not to look Behind" "People will look at me and say, Wow Mr Sameer!" "New house... new wife, and so many kids" " Wonderful" "But Mr Sameer, just look Behind." " Really?" "Hi." " Aged mother, old house... old wife, old children" "Children, your father is here." "Greet him" "Greetings, Papa" "Wonderful!" " Pathetic!" "Mr Sameer..." " Where's my Bed?" "Mother-in-law, let me live with you, I'll Be a nice daughter-in-law" "I'll serve you, I'll cook..." "I'll do the dishes, and wash the clothes... with Vimla detergent" "Sonia, you are selling detergent here, and my Ma is Beating me up there" "Cut it!" "What are you doing here, Sameer?" " What's going on here?" "Who's this?" " Sir, I'm sorry, he's my Boyfriend" "Doctor Sameer." " Why pick on me, Bro?" "What'd you do if I Barged into your operation theatre?" "I'll administer a shot on your Bum" "But what are you doing here, Buddy?" " I just need 30344 seconds, oldie" "Even I need to make a 30344 -seconds advertisement" "But nobody's giving me an opportunity." "Like Shekar Kapoor..." "I'll also quit this country and migrate to Los Angeles" "Go right now!" " Sorry sir..." "Sonia, why aren't you answering my calls?" "Because I want to meet your mother, not you" "Ma?" "The shot is ready, lady." " But I'm not ready... to introduce Sonia to my Ma." " Because of your Ma... my advertisement is getting!" " Do you have a mother?" "No, Sameer." "We stay away from each other till you divorce Naina" "I want to Be spotless." " Wow!" "Fantastic!" "What a line!" "Vimla detergent leaves your clothes spotless" "I jog away" "Keeps my hands and legs fit" "So I jump away" "My Breath... my Breath..." "I know, you are the mother-in-law and Naina-ji is the daughter-in-law" "Shut up, ass." "The pump..." "Oh, the pump!" "Here's the pump." " Not this one... my pump" "What happened?" " She's gasping for Breath" "She wants a pump." " Here it is." "Sit down, Ma-ji" "Open..." "Again..." "Better?" "Who told you to exercise so much?" "I'll decide on your diet from now on" "I'll prepare your health chart" "No compromise on your health." "No way." "Okay, Ma?" "Great, lady." "This is what you call the love of a daughter-in-law" "What was that for?" " Not my daughter-in-law" "She is my daughter." " Great, lady." "Awesome" "I'm so happy" "Gopi, give me tea" "My respects, Ma." " You hid such a thing from me, son" "What, Ma?" " Your wife is so good" "She's disciplined and so mannerly." " I never knew, Ma... that my wife had so many qualities." " Shut up" "She's a goddess." "Know what?" "I suffered a Bout of asthma" "She took great care of me, I was fine in a jiffy" "I have prayed to God that..." "I want Naina as my daughter-in-law in all the lifetimes to come" "You have opened my eyes today, Ma" "I never realised Naina was so nice." " She is, son" "What was the need to act nice with my Ma?" "Excuse me!" "It wasn't an act" "I'm a nurse first then your fake wife" "It's my duty to save a patient's life." " I know" "But you could've called me." "If you keep on serving Ma like this... she will never let us part." " Is it?" "Then let's tell her everything" "Don't worry." "A mother forgives every mistake that her son commits" "My Ma is an Indian mother." "She slaps me... she can even shoot me if the need Be." " Then what's the solution?" "A horse cannot Befriend its fodder" "A woman can never love her mother-in-law?" "Can she?" "You called me a horse?" " No." "I called Ma fodder" "Shame on you." "You are terrible." " Be terrible like me" "Be a true Indian daughter-in-law" "Turn terrible and torch the house, so that Ma runs away" "Do it!" "C'mon, grandma" "C'mon, grandma!" " Drive like Superman." "Let me show you" "Gopi, you idiot" "What are you doing here, Gopi?" "Get Back to the kitchen, now" "What are you people doing?" " What are you doing, daughter-in-law?" "Please don't interfere." "The kids are not studying Because of you" "Don't worry, dear." "We own several trucks" "My rich kids will never go hungry." " Haven't you got up yet?" "C'mon, pack up, quick." "You are going to the hostel." "Move it" "They won't get a good upbringing at the hostel, my dear" "Oh yes, I forgot." "I can see how great the upbringing of your son is" "What are you talking?" "I made a doctor out of him" "I wish you had made a good human Being out of him" "His Bad company will spoil my kids" "Only God can save us from you and your son" "Let's go, children" "What's wrong with her all of a sudden?" "Don't scream." "I'm good at it too" "And I got an identity of my own!" "I'm not a caged Bird... to Be kept under watch for 24 hours" "You are unnecessarily angry, dear." "nobody is keeping you under watch" "My glasses are Broken." "Please get it fixed, son" "Mother-in-law, this is mumbai, not your village" "Fixing things cost money." "Besides, can't you see through a Broken glass?" "Well Ma-ji, what will you see?" "The torn up album of your only son's Broken marriage!" "I'm so stuck in this place" "Keep this money, Ma." "I can go without slippers..." "But you can't go without glasses." " I know" "In the movie BaghBan this is exactly what AmitaBh went through" "His daughters-in-law made life miserable for him" "He looked so cute weeping inconsolably" "But Ma, he's a great personality and a tough human Being in reality" "Forget the personality, But I'm no less in reality" "I will endure every thing for your sake, But I won't let her go" "Don't let her go, Ma." "Don't" "I'm a goner!" "Sameer is ruined" "Ms Naina, you are just amazing" "If you script a few more episodes like this..." "Ma will go away to Hoshiarpur, you will remain at the clinic... and I will Be... in Sonia's arms" "But won't this?" "I hope it won't hurt Ma?" " You don't know my Ma" "She's tenacious, she's unshakeable" "Ma!" "Are you all right?" "Lord, stop playing the flute" "I'm ruined." "What's come over my daughter-in-law all of a sudden?" "She was fine until yesterday, why has she turned into a serpent?" "You call this food?" "You're not concentrating on your work" "Get out of my house!" " Lady, I've Been working here... for so many years." "No one has ever complained" "I'll see who works here!" "Sure, go on." "I got a replacement for you" "Who?" " Ma-ji" "She's Been a freeloader in her son's house" "She won't die if she works a Bit" "Besides, I'll save some money." "So get out of my house" "But listen..." "Lady, what do you gain By sacking me?" "Oh, how I respected you!" "And you turned out to Be just a maid." "God help" "Ma-ji... my friends are coming over in the afternoon" "Cook something special, only for... six people" "Please don't refuse." "I hear, your hands work magic" "Let us try some" "Naina, hurry make it fast." " I'm checking" "Look... oh!" "I lost again." " There you are" "May I ask something, Naina?" " Go ahead" "You ran out of luck ever since you married Sameer" "Don't ask me." "I lost 20,000 to you." "I'll give you the rest later" "No way." " Naina, no credit in gambling" "I want hard cash." " Is that so?" "So keep my wedding necklace." " What are you doing, my dear?" "Are you gambling with your wedding necklace?" "Oh yes, it's the symbol of a marriage." "So what do I do?" "Shall I wager on you?" "That's a good idea, ladies" "I wager on her" "You are wagering a worthless woman, Naina" "Oh no." "She must at least Be insured for 300000." "Hear that?" "Insured for 300000." "Do you also insure your maids here?" " Hush" "How rude, Dolly!" "She is my mother-in-law" "If she gets angry, who will cook?" "Mother-in-law!" "My respects" "Shut up." " My name is Dolly" "Try the food, Dolly" "Naina, is this food worth trying?" "It's so oily" "What is this, Mom?" "You have put me to shame" "What's wrong with it?" "My husband would lick his fingers" "No wonder he passed away so early" "Shut up!" "What on earth?" "What happened, Ma?" "Hasn't my virtuous wife massaged your feet and put you to sleep yet?" "Feet?" "She'd even strangle me, son" "Book a railway ticket and send me home" "Send me away, son." " But you said you wanted her... as your daughter-in-law for all the lifetimes to come." "Don't Betray me now" "I was out of my mind" "Send me Back to Hoshiarpur" "I won't stay here." " Know what's the problem?" "It's the tv serials." "Put on any channel... and you'll find womenfolk fighting." "The poor mother is always harassed" "Greetings." "Welcome to Sanskar TV" "Beautiful." "Exquisite, Ma" "Today's subject:" "Relationship Between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law" "A mother-in-law is like a mother" "Great thinking." " Shut up." "Let me listen" "Some daughters-in-law today treat their mothers-in-law like maidservants" "It is wrong." "A mother-in-law is like a huge tree... under whose shadows we find every thing" "Ma, do they make such daughters-in-law anymore?" "Of course, there are." "Why don't you marry a girl of her type?" "Ma, forget her type, if you say, I'll marry this one" "Bless you, son." "Go ahead and marry her, son" "I will Be Blessed." " Okay, Ma" "My Sonia... where are you?" "Your doctor is here" "Your doctor is in a romantic mood." "Where are you?" "Help!" " I'm in love with you" "And I know that you too love me." "So why don't you tell everyone?" "Why don't you tell him?" "Look, I'm a very Bad man" "Let me go!" " Why don't you understand?" "I'm in love with you." "I can't live without you" "Tell me, you also love me" "Please leave me." "I don't love you!" " No!" "Yes, yes!" "Yes!" " See?" "You said yes" "Though you refuse, you do love me" "Pyare, I won't spare you!" "We were rehearsing." "Pyare has signed a new movie" "Sweet Rape." "Starring Pyare Mohan as the obsessed lover" "Did you find only my girlfriend to rehearse a rape scene?" "Sonia, when somebody touches you, I Become very touchy" "Mr Thapa, why are you gasping?" "I climbed six storeys without crutches, for your sake" "You could've taken the elevator." " One who can climb the Tiger Hills... without help in a war, needs no elevator" "What I expected, and what you turned out to Be" "I?" "What have I done?" "You roam around with the doctor" "But you can't stand me and spend a few moments of love with me" "I wish to have a girlfriend like you" "I wish for someone's support." "Like yours" "I don't expect an entire lifetime with her..." "But of course a few moments of love!" "Mr Thapa... why didn't you tell me Before?" "What?" " Never mind" "Come home tonight?" " Home?" "Whose?" "The doctor's" "Don't Be afraid." "We'll go out" "Mr Thapa, stop!" "Don't forget, Mr Thapa." "We have a date" "I've done it!" "Doctor, I'm coming tonight" "Mr Thapa, come on" "Careful" "Slowly, slowly" "Ms Naina, this is not right." "What are you doing?" "You Brought a cripple to a discotheque, to dance?" "That's Because this is one place where my Boss would never come" "Boss?" "Who?" " The doctor" "That's fine." " Right?" "Thank you, old man" "baby..." "Thank you, darling" "Such a lovely place." " I know" "Know what's special here?" "nobody will disturb us" "Vicky, isn't that the doctor's wife?" "Who's that with her?" " Must Be her new Boyfriend" "Isn't that the doctor?" "Who's the girl with her?" " Must Be his girlfriend or his fiancee" "Forget it." " And who's that Boy?" "Must Be the doctor's fiancee's..." "Concentrate on me!" "Don't look around" "Sameer, there's your wife." " Oh my God!" "Doctor, how many wives do you have?" "I can see them everywhere" "Excuse me!" "I have only one wife, who is seen around with many of late" "Ms Naina, the doctor is here!" "Don't worry." "He's the Boss during the day, I'm the Boss during the night" "Let's dance, Mr Thapa." " I'll go and freshen up" "Just one dance will freshen you up." " You don't understand" "I need to pee." "Hold this" "Toilet" "Carry on, friend" "Must I wash my hands?" "No way!" "I will shake hands with everyone" "Love crippled Thapa" "Else, he'd have danced too" "Naina, I'm coming" "Will you woo my nurse?" "Back off!" "What are you doing?" "When I set my eyes... upon you..." "When I set my eyes upon you... my heartstrings strummed, my love" "Though I am restless and unheeded, I'm confident now, my love... you are the one for me!" "You are mine, my love" "When I set my eyes upon you... my heartstrings strummed, my love" "Though I am restless and unheeded, I'm confident now, my love... you are the one for me!" "You are mine, my love" "I don't know how I fell in love" "But this wait is just killing me" "My love" "When our gazes met, I conformed" "My lonely heart found restlessness" "My love" "You've had a tremendous effect on me" "I'm young, and this night is seducing me" "Though I am restless and unheeded, I'm confident now, my love... you are the one for me!" "You are mine, my love" "I'm healed!" "I can dance!" "Ms Naina, thank you!" "I'm healed!" "I'm healed!" "I can walk, I can dance" "Give in to my passions" "Just commit this Beautiful sin for once" "My love" "Live for my love, die for my love" "In return, I shall grant you any wish" "My love" "Sweetheart, you are the destination of my love" "I'm drunk on your love" "Though I am restless and unheeded, I'm confident now, my love... you are the one for me!" "You are mine, my love" "Get lost!" "When I set my eyes upon you... my heartstrings strummed, my love" "Though I am restless and unheeded, I'm confident now, my love... you are the one for me!" "You are mine, my love" "My love, you are mine" "Sameer, what happened?" " Nothing..." "Naina is drunk" "DJ, one more time!" "Uncle, it's twelve!" "Get lost" "DJ, one more time!" "Hi, Naina." " Hi." "Good morning" "Good morning, doctor." " Good morning" "What's this?" "You have worn last night's dress" "I didn't have the time to change." " What?" "You didn't go home?" "Where were you all night?" "The night?" "Don't ask me!" "I never had such fun in my life" "I could see that." "I saw what fun you had last night" "That was nothing." "The real thing happened after you left... when the two of us went to the Beach." " To the Beach?" "The two of you?" " Yes" "Two?" "Who?" " I and Pyare" "Pyare?" " Pyare Mohan" "You went to the Beach with Pyare?" "Do you know what sort of a man he is?" "Doctor, not a word against Pyare." "He is a very nice and decent man" "I saw last night how decent and nice he is" "The way he was glued to you!" "Doctor, I can smell envy" "Envious, am I?" "No way." "I'm ashamed" "Ashamed?" " It hurt to see... the way you Behaved with my girlfriend's friend" "The whole world knows that you are my wife!" "Wife?" "Wife, eh?" "Whose wife?" "What wife?" "Mrs Naina Malhotra!" "You have made a joke out of me" "A joke" "I'm not your wife" "I'm not your wife, doctor" "I can't fake it anymore" "I'm tired of it, I can't tolerate it" "Tolerate?" "What've you Been tolerating?" "Your filthy girlfriends and friends, pathetic demands... need I say more?" "Have you ever imagined how it hurts me to support your lies?" "No, I can't do this anymore." "I want freedom" "Freedom?" "Go, you are free." "Who do you think you are?" "There are thousands of nurses who will work for me, for less pay" "Go ahead." "I'll find one for you." " No, thanks" "I'll find a nurse of my choice" "All right" "Here's the drawer that carries the letters of all your girlfriends" "There's your Bank statements, there's the patients' dossiers, and... inside this drawer you will find your girlfriends' shoes, clips, et al" "If you forget every thing, there's a list inside in this drawer" "Anything else you want to ask?" "No, nothing" "I'm leaving" "Listen..." "Yes?" "Where's the fish food?" "See, I forgot that." "Inside their tummies!" "Pyare, get up." "Are you still dreaming?" "I've stopped dreaming." "My dreams don't come true anyway" "Forget it." "I'm marrying today." "You are my Best friend" "Aren't you ready yet?" "C'mon, get up" "Sonia, I won't attend your marriage" "Why not?" " Why should I attend?" "That doctor is marrying for the second time, and I'm not even married once" "What kind of justice is this?" "I won't attend anyone's wedding... unless I myself get married." " Look Pyare... if you don't come, I'll never meet you again" "In any case you will not meet me after your marriage" "You won't attempt suicide, I won't come to rescue you either" "Fine" "I'll still wait for you." " I'll still wait for you!" "You look exquisite, and happy too" "Hi." " What are you doing here?" "I'm taking the evening flight to Canada... for good" "Before leaving, I wanted to tell you something about myself and Sameer" "I'm not Sameer's wife" "What?" "Then who is Sameer's wife?" " nobody" "Sameer is not married" "May I ask something?" "Why are you telling me all this now?" "I'm a nurse, Sonia" "Be it a wound or a relationship, it must never Be left open" "God Bless you" "From now on, you will share all your wife's joys, sorrows and everything" "Right?" " Right, Father" "Mr Sameer Malhotra, do you accept Sonia as your wife?" "Of course, Father" "Ms Sonia, do you accept Sameer Malhotra as your husband?" "No, Father" "What?" "Sonia, I'll Be ruined." "What are you saying?" "Look Sameer, we are in the church, Before God" "At least today you should Be telling the truth" "What?" "Jesus!" "What accusation is this?" "When did I lie to you?" "When did you not lie?" "First you said... you have wife and kids" "Then you said your wife has a Boyfriend" "You even lied to your mother." "Aren't you ashamed?" "Sounds like Naina's doing!" "She just can't digest things." "Thank God I drove her out" "Sameer, why did you tell all those lies?" "To make you Belong to me, Sonia." "I love you dearly" "And why did Naina stand By you in your lies, all the while?" "Because, she... considers me her Boss." "She takes a fat pay packet from me" "Besides, not every why has an answer, Sonia" "No, Sameer." "This particular why has an answer" "Naina stood By you, Because she dearly loves you, Sameer" "That's true" "You must marry the person who loves you" "Correct." "I madly love you" "Please marry me" "Really?" "Suppose, Naina and I were in a Boat that were sinking... who would you save?" "I don't know!" " I'll save the Boat" "The Boat!" " The Boat?" "If he saves the Boat, you will Be saved, right?" "Stay quiet!" "Did I say anything?" "Let the Boat sink" "No, no." "If you ask me about medicine, I have answers" "But this quiz about who will drown, I can't answer" "You really love me, don't you?" " Yes" "You want to see me happy?" " Yes" "Then ask yourself and tell me honestly... are you the right man for me?" "Tell me, Sameer" "Thank you, Sameer." "For the first time today... you've spoken a truth ...your silence said it" "Go to the airport and stop Naina" "Else, you will lose her in this lifetime too" "Sonia, did you ever imagine what'd happen to you without me?" "Whatever happens, it will Be good" "Sonia, I love you dearly" "plumber, chauffeur, servant..." "Iover..." "I'm willing to Become everything for you" "But, on just one condition" "If you ever fall ill and you need a doctor..." "I won't ever take you to him!" "Period" "Everything else is fine." "Please marry me" "But if you ever hurt her, I'll Beat you so much that... no doctor will ever Be able to cure you" "Let's go." "Are you waiting to see their honeymoon?" "Come on" "Amazing." "You refused to marry Before, now girls are running away from you" "That reminds me... you should run" "Else, Naina will run away from India." "C'mon" "Go!" "Go!" "Don't weep, Sonia." "I hate tears" "Did Father vanish?" "In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit..." "Will you Be my wife?" "But how will you go all alone on a honeymoon?" "You mean, I stay Back, you go?" " Right" "A husband, who never lies" "You will have to find him yourself" "Can't find a Better nurse than Naina" "She takes care of my clinic, my food ...everything, like a good wife" "Whose wife?" "What wife?" "Mrs Naina Malhotra." "You have made a joke out of me" "Hello?" " Hello Naina?" "Vicky, what's up?" "Where are you calling from?" "I'm using my mouth." "Just get off the plane" "Get off the plane?" "What are you saying?" "My sixth sense says there's something wrong with the plane, seriously" "Get off" "I can't hear you, I'm inside the plane." "Speak loudly" "Naina, I have an intuition" "There's something wrong with that plane" "There's a problem with the left magwheel" "Vicky, there you go again!" "Nothing's wrong with the plane" "I'm inside the plane." "Stop Being naughty" "Hang up." "Bye" "Listen..." "Did she relent?" " Don't know" "Let's try the airport" "What?" "What happened?" "The phone." " It's nothing" "My stupid friend said... there's something wrong with the left magwheel of the plane." "He's naughty" "Something wrong?" " No, don't worry" "He's just joking." "Besides, he's always 90 percent wrong" "But he can Be 10 percent right" "Yes, anybody could, in fact." " No!" "I'm not flying!" "No way" "You are serious..." " Something's wrong with the plane" "I'm leaving, folks." "Come with me." " What's wrong, sir?" "Something's wrong with the left magwheel" "But this plane doesn't have a left magwheel" "Gosh!" "There's no magwheel at all!" "Come on, folks" "Goodness!" "What?" "Another traffic jam in my love-story" "In mumbai, traffic jams don't give you enough time to woo girls" "Thapa!" "Thapa, your feet?" " Don't touch my legs, doctor" "My legs are fine, please let me go" "Why?" " I Beg of you" "Naina is leaving mumbai." "Please take me to the airport" "Sorry, I got to deliver this pizza in 20 minutes" "What's more important?" "Pizza?" "Or Love?" " Pizza" "Pieces of pizza fill your stomach" "And when love is torn apart?" " It kills the lover!" "Not another word!" "I have all the roads of this city mapped" "I will reach you there in 20 minutes" "C'mon" "Before Naina goes abroad we reach her!" " Back off!" "Hurry up, Thapa, for your scooter's sake" "Faster!" "Your girl's honour is at stake" "My dear Naina..." "Thapa's helping me" "Please carry on." "We have checked the aircraft." "No problem at all" "I told you." " No way" "I'm not flying in this plane." "It doesn't have magwheels" "Please don't listen to him." "Come on" "Please listen to him." "You are responsible for your own lives" "All the Best." "Bye, Bye" "There!" "Excuse me..." " One minute" "You?" "Go on, tell her." "You want me to tell her, eh?" "Go on" "Please, we can't wait." " One minute" "I have dropped Sonia, Naina" "You dropped Sonia?" "Or has Sonia dropped you?" "One and the same thing" "Naina..." "Actually, I'm used to your smile, your different ways" "We can't wait" "If you leave, my office, my family, my life... will Be ruined all in one go!" "Are you coming or not?" " Excuse me, please" "Wait a moment" "Here's what we do, Naina." "I'm not your Boss anymore" "You are my queen I'm your slave" "You hold my Bridle" "I do lie at times, But these tears are not fake" "You mustn't torment the one you love" "You are leaving the house, But I'll Be rendered homeless" "This is not fair, isn't it Naina?" "Madam please, let's go." "We can't wait anymore" "Otherwise you will miss the flight." "Let's go" "Look Naina..." "I'm falling from the sky" "You are my parachute" "You are right, I'm wrong" "Don't leave me, Naina." "I'm perfect for you... the way I am." " Ma'am, please!" "I swear Naina, I am perfect..." "She's gone too." " Yeah" "Found anyone?" " No" "No one's worth it." "Come, let's try elsewhere" "Naina!" "Stop, my dear!" "Stop, my dear!" " Stop, aunt" "Stop!" "Stop, Naina!" " Look at them!" "It's your mother." " Ma?" "Stop, my dear!" " Aunt" "Children..." "Stop, dear!" " Stop, aunt" "What are you doing here?" " Naina, I've learnt everything" "You were at the hostel..." " Please don't leave us" "Please aunt" "Where are you going, my dear?" "If you want to leave, fine." "But tell me something" "In this false show of marriage... didn't your heart Beat even once for Sameer?" "When he scolded you, when he admired you, when he touched you... didn't your heartstrings strum?" "Tell me, my child" "They did, I know." " You shut up" "What have I done?" "My child, you faked it all the while when you harassed me" "But now you are really harassing me." "It'll kill me" "I have never hit anyone" "Don't Blame me if I hit you now" "My child..." "Ma-ji, hit me." "It's my mistake" "Forgive me please." "I'd never have made this mistake" "It's all your son's..." "Thank you, Naina." " Not thank-you... apologise to her." " Sorry, Naina" "Good Boy" "Can we go home now?" " Let's go" "Well... my Lord..." " Yes?" "Won't you come home?" " Just..." "That's it!" "No excuses!" "Excuse me... is she flying or not?" "Why'd she fly when she has found a nice Boy to hang out with?" "On second thoughts..." "can you wait for three more days?" "She'll certainly come Back crying..." "guaranteed!" "I'd rather Be a doctor than an actor"