"No, no, no!" "You have no step unless you get your leg up." "All right, come on, watch." "Give me that dicer." "Hit it, the last 16 bars." "Now, watch." " What time you got?" " Ten to 3." "Take over, Eve." "Last chorus." "All right, well, pick up." "Hello, Jerry." "Bix." "Ran out, huh?" "Well, look, give me a $20 parlay from Laughing Boy in the seventh to Happy Eve in the eighth." "You heel." "Can't even pay a hotel bill." "In debt up to your ears, and it's horses." "Horses every second you're awake." "Horses, horses, horses." "I don't drink or smoke." "You, Elwin Bixby, a man of talent, a genius of Broadway." "The brightest future of anybody in show business." "Take five, kids." "Had hit after hit, season after season now beating out a time step in this broken-down saloon." "Take 10, sweetheart." "Take 10?" "I've been taking 10 ever since I've known you." "Watching you fight your way to the bottom." " I don't fight, baby." "I'm a lover." " Don't change the subject." "You fought with Ziegfeld, Harris, Hammerstein, Eberhart, always battling." "But you know who you're really fighting?" "Yourself." "Where do we go from here?" "We'll land right on our feet, and when we do:" "That tune went off my hit parade long ago." "Sorry, but here goes the bride." "Eve, Eve, you haven't heard the whole story." "Heard it?" "I could put it to music." ""Meet me at the city hall." "This is it." "We'll have our honeymoon in Bermuda."" ""Had to postpone it."" " Something happened to the money." " Something always happened to the money." "Answer it." "It's probably your bookie with another sure thing." " Hello." " Bix, old boy." "How are you, fella?" "I've been combing the town for you." "Where you been?" "How do you feel?" "When did you start being interested in the state of my health?" "Oh, now, Bix." "You know I've always been interested in how you're doing." "Listen, I've got a proposition for you." "Go blow your brains out, you thief." "Eberhart." " Harry Eberhart?" " Yes, offered me a job." "You fool." "The only producer in town who'll give you a job and you insult him?" "I wouldn't work for that chiseler if you put a gun in my back." "Well, that does it." "Pick up the phone when you roll out of bed around 2 tomorrow afternoon." "Call my two-room, cross-ventilated basement." "Ask for Eve." "She won't live there anymore." "Oh, now..." "Sit down, sit down, sweetheart." "You're overheated." " Bix, I'm leaving." " Yeah, sure, sure." "I've been offered a job to do a single and help stage the dances at a hotel in Las Vegas." "Eve, you can't do that." "You're my feet, you're my memory." "I couldn't work without you." "You better start getting used to it." "All right, Eve, Eve." "So help me, word of honor, word of honor, no more horses." " Word of honor?" " Yeah." "You don't know what it means." "Sorry, Bix." "I gotta pack." " I'll be up to your place as soon as I finish." " Won't do any good." "Save yourself the bus fare." "You might need it." "Bix, every year at West Point, the cadets put on a musical the 100th Night Show." "They call it that because it's a kind of a celebration." "The winter's over, only a hundred days till June." "Well, I made a special trip up there to look over the show." "It's wonderful what those kids have done." "Of course, some of the material was amateurish." "But I've seen a lot worse on Broadway." "Bix I'm gonna help those boys." "That's why I sent for you." " Did you say something?" " I didn't say anything." "You know, Bix, you and I have done a lot of shows together." "I can't think of a man with more on the ball." "That's why I gave you such a big build-up with those cadets." "Don't you talk to me about West Point." "That is the greatest collection of big-headed, salute-happy, station-house characters in any man's army." "I took it for four years from those muzzlers from Camp Dix to the Rhine." "And all the way, nothing but trouble." "And how do they get that way?" "They have a special factory up there for putting square heads into brass hats." "West Point?" "But, Bix, I'm asking this as a personal favor." "Why should I do you any favors?" "Bix, I've got a nephew up there, Tom Fletcher." "The kid's written the music and he's putting on the show." "He's my only sister's boy." "The kid's dad died when he was 3." "There isn't anything in this world I wouldn't do for that boy." "As a friend, go on up there and whip that show into shape." "Now, suppose you tell me the real story." "All right." "I've got a big musical for the fall." "Can I put it on?" "Not without a leading man." "And where am I gonna find a good-looking guy that can sing?" "Don't tell me, don't tell me." " West Point." " Exactly." "My own nephew, Tom." "Oh, a tremendous voice." "Believe me, and the chump wants to be an Army officer." "Now, what kind of a career is that?" "I tell you, I've tried every angle to get that kid out of there." "Now, come on, Bix, go on up there." "Give them that stuff." "Let that kid get a taste of applause." "Get under his skin." "You can make him listen." "He'll make us a fortune." " Who'll wind up with it?" " We will." "Harry, you got your start robbing a blind man." "Six years, you sat on the broad end of your back collected the dough, took the bows for hits that I made for you." "You fired me and had me blackballed with every producer in town." "And now, when you need me..." "Now, wait just a minute, Bix." "Just one minute." " What did you do to me?" " Do to you?" " Jan Wilson?" " Yes, Jan Wilson." "You stole her out of my own show, right from under my very nose." "Stole her?" "I found her." "Now, Bix, Bix, you stole her." "You signed her to a personal contract and then sold to the pictures." " Of course I did, to give her a break." " And never even cut me in." "Cut you in?" "You chiseler." " You had her buried in the chorus." " Now, all right." "Let's let bygones be bygones, shall we?" "Now, I know that you've been having a little trouble lately so here's my proposition:" "I'll give you 5000 as an advance against 2 percent of the gross." " If you'll get the b..." " No, there is no if." "I will not steal your nephew out of West Point." "Get yourself another boy." " Oh, Bix?" " Yes?" " How's Eve?" "Seen her lately?" " Yeah, why?" "Nice girl." "I heard she'd been having kind of a hard time." "You know, a friend of mine owns a hotel in Las Vegas." "Las Vegas?" "Friend of yours?" "That's throwing them in there pretty low, even for you." "Five thousand against 2 percent of the gross if you deliver that boy." " Ten thousand." " Seventy-five hundred." "That should straighten out a lot of troubles for you and Eve." "You got a deal." "Detail." "Forward, hut." "Isn't this wonderful?" "Think of this place, its history, its tradition." "Think of all the great men who came from here." "General Grant, Eisenhower, Pershing." "Benedict Arnold." "He tried hard to give this joint to the British." "I think he should have his case reviewed." "Look at that scenery, those buildings." "Alcatraz on the Hudson." "And get a load of this weather." "Cold enough to freeze the medals off a brass general." "Oh, Bix, stop beefing." "Say, buddy, how do we get to the Army theater?" "To reach your objective, proceed through that entryway between the academic building and the barracks." "Walk west on Jefferson Road, past Thayer Monument opposite Washington Hall." "That, sir, is our cadet mess hall." "Turn left on Scott Place." "Proceed until you approach a yellow brick building." "That's our gymnasium." "Proceed to the northeast corner, where you will see nine doors." "Enter any of these doors, proceed to the second floor." "There you will find the Army theater." "Couldn't you just point?" "That way, sir." " Thanks." " Pardon me." "Are all those men walking just for the exercise?" "No, they're walking punishment tours." "They broke rules or regulations." "See that?" "Wasting shoe leather." "Who pays for it?" "Taxpayers, me." "Taxpayer?" "You wouldn't know a tax return from a racing form." "Wait for your laugh." " Where do you think you were going?" " Extra instruction, sir." "French, sir." "Don't you know that even when you're late, you don't use Diagonal Walk?" " That's reserved for upperclassmen." " Yes, sir." "Now, I'm going to make a soldier out of you from the top of your head to your toes." "First thing, put that hat on properly." "Pull in that chin." "Lots of wrinkles." "Get those slimy green eyes off me." "Now let's see you pop that chest up." "Touch my hand." "You heard me." "Pop up that chest." "Suck up that horrible gut." "You can't run around with that stomach dragging on the pavement." "Get those knees together." "Report to my room, 1423, immediately after extra instruction." "Got that?" "Drive on." "Pop up that chest!" "Touch my hand!" "You don't have to break it off." "If you don't like this place and you don't like Eberhart why did you get on that train at 125th Street drag me off and sell me a bill of goods about coming up to do an amateur show?" "Just for you, sweetheart." "Just for you." "First classmen wait For the dance to come" "With all the joys they bring" "So join us and sing" "One hundred days till June" "June will come soon" "Lieutenants we will be" "With the shining bars of gold" "On our Army OD" "We'll cast one glance At these old gray walls" "We'll bid a fond farewell" "Oh, join and sing" "Of 100 days till June" "Oh, join and sing" "Of 100 days till June" "Is that coming out of him?" " Mr. Bixby?" " Yes." "I'm Colonel Martin." "Glad to see you." "Mr. Eberhart's told me so much about you." "Welcome to West Point." "Thank you." "Eve Dillon, my assistant." " How do you do." " How do you do, miss." " Oh, Mr. Fletcher." " Sir?" " Mr. Bixby." " Fletcher." "My uncle phoned me you were coming, sir." " This is Colonel Martin, our faculty adviser." " Met the colonel." " Hal Courtland." " How do you do, sir." "Eve Dillon, my assistant." " How do you do." " How do you do, Miss Dillon." "This is Bull Gilbert, sir." "He's our princess in the show." "Too bad you couldn't find a big one." ""Honey Blond, Red Head, Ash Blond, Strawberry Blond, Auburn."" ""Brownette..." Somebody can't spell." ""Blond, Brunette."" "Now, these characters with the signs on, what are they?" "Our chorus girls, sir." "No women in the show?" "This isn't Broadway, Mr. Bixby." "This is West Point." "You see, sir, all our girls are men." "But every one's a lady." "That makes it cozy." "Something Rodgers and Hammerstein never thought, a musical show without women." "We're about to do one of our numbers, sir." " Suppose we do it for you?" " That'd be fine." "Now, you'll have to imagine that this is Flirtation Walk." "And that chair is the Kissing Rock." "Bull here is the princess." "This the Flirtation Walk, that the Kissing Rock and this is the princess." "You've been kissed, I know In the very last row" "When the love scene is on At the movie show" "But wait until tonight And you'll be kissed but right" "By the Kissing Rock" "It's a lovely spot And believe it or not" "If you'll just care a little You'll care a lot" "So let's dispense with talk And take a little walk" "By the Kissing Rock" "A girl once refused to kiss a lad" "The lad was a man of honor" "He warned her She'd make the rock real mad" "And the legend is the rock fell upon her" "That was years ago And it must have been so" "'Cause from that day to this Not a girl said no" "And that's the story of Whoever falls in love" "By the Kissing Rock" "How'd you like it, sir?" "Wouldn't hiss and wouldn't cheer." "Got a copy of the lyrics?" "Right here, sir." "Colonel, you mind if I go to work?" " Not at all." "Go ahead." " Thank you, colonel." " Tom, would you come down here?" " Yes, sir." "Son, don't give it everything you have in the first eight bars." "Don't belt it at them, like this:" "You've been kissed, I know" "No, it's no good." "Singing a song is like a horse race." "You don't ride a horse from wire to wire, you rate him." "Now, rule one:" "Like your audience." "They're all nice people." "They bought tickets, they want to hear your story." "Tell it to them simply, sweetly, warmly." "You like them and they like you." "Hit it." "Eve." "You've been kissed, I know In the very last row" "When the love scene is on At the movie show" "But wait until tonight And you'll be... but right" "By the Kissing Rock" "It's a lovely spot And believe it or not" "If you just care a little You'll care a lot" "So let's dispense with talk" "And take a little walk" "By the Kissing Rock" "A girl once refused to kiss a lad" " And the lad was a man of honor" " You'd know." "He warned her She'd make the rock real mad" "And the legend is the rock fell upon her" "That was years ago And it must have been so" "'Cause from that day to this Not a girl said no" " That's the story of whoever falls in love" " That's the story of whoever falls in love" " By the Kissing Rock" " By the Kissing Rock" "Ham." "Well, there's an idea." " It was great." " I could've done it better with two legs." "We'll open in one, go to full stage." "Now..." "Well, bring on the rest of your dancers and we'll see what we've got." "We won't have any more time today, sir." "No more time?" "I wanna hear the rest of your score." "You see, we have to spoon up for mess or we'll get slugged." "But meet us tomorrow at the Boodlers at 1600 why, we can have a drink..." " Cherry phosphate." " We'll play the whole score for you then." "See you tomorrow, sir." "Did I hear him right?" "Let me translate." "He means they won't be off again until tomorrow at 4." "Fletcher and his roommate can meet at the Boodlers." "Now they've got to stand formation for supper." "Whoever heard of breaking into rehearsals for supper?" "West Point, Mr. Bixby." "Rules and regulations." "Oh, rules and regulations." "Well, they'll have to take a tuck on the rules and regulations." "Make a note of that, Eve." "Long before I knew you" "I knew you'd be as you are" "How did I know?" "Don't ask me to explain" "Do you suppose the budding rose Would question summer rain?" "My heart led me right to you" "Or was it my lucky star?" "I don't know if you Believe that dreams come true" "But long before I kissed you" "I knew" " This is going to be fun." " You think we have a show?" "You got a few good jokes, a few good songs, but a show, I don't know." "It's gonna be a lot of hard work." "Hal?" " Yes, sir?" " I like your dancing." "Nice style." " Thank you, sir." " Don't let the Army flatten those arches." "You got a lot of voice." "Lot of voice." "Like to talk about it sometime." "Good jokes, songs." "You did the material yourselves?" "Yes, sir, Hal and I." "What happens to the show when it closes?" " Nothing." " They put it in the archives." " Any chance of a fella getting it?" " Not a chance, it's West Point property." " How about buying it?" " It's not for sale, sir." "I'm afraid I gonna have to call time on you again." " First call for supper." " More supper." "I want you guys at the gymnasium promptly at 4:00 tomorrow." "Four o'clock." "In the Army, sir, it's 1600." "Sixteen hundred, 1650, I won't give you a cent more." "Be there at 4:00." "After reading this book and hearing this score I think these kids have really got something." "You know, this story is charming." "A Brooklyn GI in Europe falling in love with a girl who turns out to be a royal princess." "Romantic, isn't it?" "Sets me on fire." "And that Bull Gilbert is such a fascinating wench." "Then the princess comes to America, to West Point to see her GI, who is now a cadet." "But because she's a princess and he's a commoner the romance gets the cadet into trouble." "However, being royalty, she asks for amnesty and gets it." "Right out on the stage?" " Amnesty means a pardon." " No." "Then she gives up being a princess, moves to Brooklyn with her GI and lives happily ever after." "Cute?" "If you ask me, the whole plot needs amnesty." "He gets out of trouble because she's a princess." "What gimmick is that?" "Nobody's gonna believe it." "The tunes are good and that boy Tom..." "Tom's great." "That Gilbert is a cute hunk of cadet, but he's no princess." "Why not use a real girl?" "A local." "A daughter of one of the officers, maybe, to play the part?" "There are to be no females in this show." "One woman couldn't hurt." "That's what Adam said, Eve." "No, no, no!" "No!" "How many times you guys have to be told?" "This is a march tempo." "Don't you guys know how to march?" "All right, come on, give me a pickup." "And go." "And go!" "Now, you got the idea?" "Try it." "Once more." "Hit it." "Sorry we were late, sir." "It's about time you prima donnas got here." "What's the excuse?" " Lacrosse practice, tried to get here." " I had mathematics." "I was attending intercollegiate student forum on geopolitics." " You see, sir..." " Don't "sir" me." "I'm a civilian." "And you, princess, the beauty parlor?" "Problem in fluid mechanics, sir." "The 300-ohm resistors and the venturi tubes are giving me trouble." " That's a new one." " Mr. Bixby, I'd like to explain, sir." "We have to do this show on our spare time." " Rules and regulations." " Rules and regulations." "All I wanna do is get a show on and get out of here." "All right, girls, places." "Fast, fast." "Come on." "Hit it." "No, no, no!" "Quiet." "Quiet." "Quiet!" "This is murder!" "Murder." "Call a rehearsal and 50 percent of the company's absent." "Punishment chores, studying for a quiz lacrosse, venturi tubes." "I've heard a great deal about the discipline in this joint." "You're supposed to be famous for it." "Well, I haven't seen a sign of it in connection with this show." "There's more discipline in a broken-down burlesque troupe than you have up here with all your salutes, your "Yes, sir"s, your "No, sir"s your fancy uniforms and parades." "Discipline in the theater means being on time." "Getting the job done." "Rehearsal is called for 2:00, it's not 2:01 or 2:02." "If an actor is late, he apologizes to the entire company." "If he's late a second time, he's fired." "Now, two of you men have taken the trouble to put together a good show." "A show worthy of Broadway." "Well, if it's worth doing at all, it's worth doing well." "And if it weren't I wouldn't have stayed here 24 hours." "So from here in punishment chores can wait, studies can wait, lacrosse can wait." "And we'll throw out some rules and regulations." "Rehearsal is called, you'll be on time." "You'll know your words and you'll know your routines." "You're gonna work harder than you've ever worked." "I'll show you what discipline is." "Because I don't like this brass-hat factory, and I never expect to like it." "Tell him not to go away mad, just go away." "Quiet." "Quiet!" "The next guy that opens his kisser gets thrown out of the theater." "That's final." "That goes for each and every one of you." " Is he always this violent?" " The Army did it to him." "It started when he asked for a size 8 shoe and they gave him a 12." "Never been the same since." "Catch me on this." "And, princess, you and the rest of the girls watch." "We'll take that again." "See what I mean?" "Discipline." "Gentlemen, this conduct of Mr. Bixby's cannot be tolerated." "But, sir, the men don't seem to feel it's entirely Mr. Bixby's fault." "It takes time for an outsider to get to know West Point." "That I can understand, but this request is very unusual." "Unusual, yes, colonel, but not without precedent." "George M. Cohan did it to get material for a play." "Damon Runyon for some newspaper stories..." "Gentlemen, I'd like to read you some excerpts from Mr. Bixby's record in the Army." ""During four years of active service, Elwin Bixby fought two wars one against the enemy and one against the Army." "He'd gripe from reveille to taps." "He was insubordinate to all ranks and he went AWOL so many times, it was impossible to keep count." "In Africa, he sold a B17 to an Arab for a crate of eggs." "He swiped mattress covers and pillowcases from QM supplies and sold them to Arabs for Sunday suits." "And after being missing for two weeks, he was found in residence in a harem."" "This was quite a man." ""He was ordered court-martialed five times, always bluffed his way out." "But his courage was incredible." "In Italy, he saved his company from being trapped by superior enemy forces." "In France, when action became dull, he went AWOL and joined the French underground." "He was wounded twice." "He was awarded the Distinguished Service Cross the Silver Star and the Médaille Militaire." "He was finally promoted to the rank of sergeant but for an infraction of a rule, was broken back to private on the day of his discharge."" "A very interesting career." "You are at the United States Military Academy." "You take a sock at a cadet you're taking a sock at the United States government." "Now you're barred from the post." "Come in." " I have news for you." " What did they say?" " Are they gonna let him stay?" " That depends." "They took the case to the commandant's office." "He was pretty reasonable about it." "He realizes that punch-happy over there isn't the first civilian to come up here with a chip on his shoulder." "And he's willing to give Bix another chance." "Well, they figure if Bix got to know them better he might get to like them better." "Who wants to like them better?" "You see, Harry, it's no use." "That ham always..." "Shut up." "Yeah, what else, doll?" "Well, on one condition would they allow him to stay:" "They have invited him to become one of them." " I told them he'd do it." " You told them what?" "I accepted their invitation for you to become a cadet." "You what?" "You heard me." "And I just accepted an invitation for you to go over Niagara Falls in a barrel." "Now, who goes first?" "Eve, darling, you're wonderful." "I love you." "Look, Bix, this is great." "You move right in, you become one of them." "Go to work on the boy the boy discovers what he's got, what we can do for him." " Work on what boy?" " What?" "Oh, well, you know, Hal and Tom." "You know, to make them good in the show." "Oh, Bix, you'll become a cadet." "What do you say?" "What do I say?" "No!" "No, he says." "Oh, Eve, why do you put up with him?" "Harry, you think that job in Las Vegas is still open?" "If it isn't, I'll open it." "Stop off if you're passing through Las Vegas." "I'll put in a good word for you if they need an extra busboy." "Now, Eve." "Eve..." "Las Vegas." "You reached way out into left field for that one, didn't you?" "And now I should become a West Point cadet." "I think it's a great idea." "Really, a great idea." "We still got a deal." "Bixby." "Hey, Bixby." " Reveille." " Cut it out." "Cut it out." "Cut it out." "Reveille, Bix, you have to be in formation by the two-minute bell." "The middle of the night." "Out of the sack, Mr. Dumbjohn." "You don't sleep all day." " Gee whiz, now, fellas..." " Close your window." " Yeah, sure." " This way." "Come on, mister, move." "This your gear?" "Come on." "Hut, two, three, four." "Hut, two, three, four." "Hut, two, three, four." "Attention." "A company present and accounted for." "What are you, the tail gunner, Mr. Do-willy?" "About-face." "About-face." "Now, let me see you function." "Put a brace on those shoulders, Mr. Ducro." "Stretch up from the top of the head." "Touch my hand." "Break forward." "Pull in that chin." "More." "More." "Why can't you pull in that chin?" " Don't taste nice." " Don't answer me." "Now, look military, Mr. Dumbjohn." "Suck up that gut." "Pop that chest up in the air." "Lift it up." "Lift it up." "Straighten that cap." "You were instructed to get a haircut." "See that it's done." "Report to my quarters after recall." "Do you keep those clippers on the ice?" "It's all part of a plebe's life, Bix." "Anyhow, it'll be over when upperclassmen shake your hand and recognize you." " How many lights in Cullum Hall?" " Three hundred and forty, sir." "Next, how many gallons in Lusk Reservoir?" "Ninety-two and 210 million gallons, when water's over the spillway." "What do plebes rank?" "The plebe rank, the commandant's dog, the superintendent's cat the hellcats and all the admirals in the cockeyed Navy." "A 12:00 boy in a 9:00 town, that's me." "There's another thing I don't like about this place." "Too much buttoning and unbuttoning." " All right, 641?" " All right, sir." " All right, 642?" " All right, sir." " Hey..." " All right, 643?" " All right, sir." " Everybody in a rut around here?" " What is this "all right" business?" " Oh, it's a bed check." "When you answer "all right," that means everyone's present." " They take your word for it?" " Certainly." "At West Point, your word is your honor." "Now, the definition of leather, they'll be sure to ask you that one." "And put some soul in it." "The definition of leather." "And put some soul into it, right." "If the fresh skin of an animal, cleaned and divested of all hairs fat and other extraneous matter be immersed in a dilute solution of tannic acid, a chemical compound ensues." "The gelatinous tissue is converted into a non-putrescible substance impervious to and insoluble in water." "This, sir, is leather." "Beautifully done, Hal, beautifully done." "Only one thing wrong." "Not enough straw hats." "Harder." "Although I am a princess, I'll be happy to marry you..." "Let's hear it." "Let's hear it." "Come on." "This whole business will follow me for the rest of my life." " I can't say that." " Put a "sir" on it, understand?" " Yes, sir." " You are a princess." "A princess, and he's a GI." "You met in Europe and fell in love." "Why, I don't know." "Don't know." "He's asked you to marry him and live in Brooklyn." "You hear?" "Now, get up." "Suck up that royal gut." "Extend that lovely little pinky." "Attaboy." "Now, give us a lovely, lovely smile with those pearly-white teeth." "You're a doll." "A doll." "All right." "From the beginning." "I wanna talk to you, Tom." "Why, Hal, that's sweet of you to ask me." "I'd love to." "Doing a little research, doll face?" "Look, son." "I've been wanting to talk to you." " Yes, sir." " Talk to you about your future." "I think you should give it careful consideration." "Just something that you don't, you know, pass over lightly." "I wanna know, what are you gonna do with that voice of yours?" "Sing the regiment to sleep?" "What do you mean?" "You have an annuity in your throat." "Why don't you cash in on it?" "Go into show business." "My uncle been talking to you?" "Only from the floor." "Look, son, I've been working with talent all my life." "All I've got to do is listen once and I know." "Now, you've got it." "Where you got it, how, don't know." "But what are you gonna do with it?" "Are you gonna waste that voice on a parade ground singing:" ""To the rear, harch." "To the rear, harch."" " Bix, do you like your profession?" " Sure." "Well, I like mine." "Ever since I was an enlisted man, I considered the Army a profession." "Just like law or medicine." "And that's the thing that people like you and my uncle refuse to understand." "He wanted me to go to work for him." "Well, maybe you should have listened to your uncle." "I wouldn't have listened even if I'd liked him, which I don't." "Neither do I, that thief." "Now, look..." "What I'm about to say to you is just between us." "You and me." "What I wanna do is sign you to a personal contract." "Bixby exclusive." "You'll be working for me and I'll be working for you." "I'll teach you everything I know." "Take a couple of years to bring you along." "Then I'll set you in a Broadway show." "Good part." "Good part." "And you'll wind up with a lousy fortune." " Thanks, Bix, no sale." " No?" "When I graduate from here in June, I've an obligation to the government." "But you could quit." "People have been known to change their agents." "But you don't quit West Point, Bix." "You don't even get busted out." "Unless you break some strict rule or regulation." "Like violating honor, or getting found in your studies or getting married." "You see, Bix, what the gentleman is trying to tell you is no." "Well, think it over, you might change your mind." "No, not a chance." "But don't think I'm not grateful." "Well, that wasn't only a brush." "He threw in the comb and mirror." "I like that kid." "I like them both." "I heard you." "I saw that huddle you were in with Hal." " Yes." " He's going to drag me." "By what?" "He's taking me to the hop." "I'm gonna be his little old drag." " And where do you suppose I'll be?" " Plebes aren't allowed to attend hops." "And you're just a little old plebe." "Little old plebe just got an idea Little old plebe just got an idea" "Little old plebe just got an idea" "Come in." "Well, Mr. Dumbsquat, what do you want?" " Cadet Bixby reporting to ask a question." " Proceed, Mr. Bixby." "Well, sir, I was just wondering if you were dragging anyone to the hop Saturday night." "Why?" "You got any ideas?" "Ever hear of Jan Wilson?" "The movie star?" " Why, sure, who hasn't?" " Friend of mine." "That's the kind of friendship I'd like to make." "At ease, Mr. Bixby." "Well, sir, you see, I kind of helped her up the golden ladder." "She's in New York." "I might be able to coax her up here." "As my drag?" "I could try." "And you might persuade her to play the princess in the show." "Wouldn't you rather make love to her than Bully Boy Gilbert?" "Start persuading, Mr. Bixby." "I didn't sleep again last night" "And I'd like to discuss the matter" "The nerves to which I'm strung are tight" "And I'm as beat as a bowl of batter" "If old man Rip Van Winkle Thought his long sleep was a curse" "I know how the old man felt" "Because I've got his problem in reverse" "Ten thousand Four hundred and thirty-two sheep" "How long can I toss like this?" "Ten thousand Four hundred and thirty-three sheep" "What did you put in that kiss?" "I've tried all the remedies" "The well-known good advice" "Took a hot tub and an alcohol rub" "Did the alphabet backwards twice" "Ten thousand Four hundred and thirty-four sheep" "We'd better get married soon" "Ten thousand Four hundred and thirty-five sheep" "I'll never hold out till June" "How much do I love you?" "Just in case you didn't know" "You get a mental kiss With every sheep I count" "And I've still got a million sheep to go" " Did you ever try seeing a doctor?" " A doctor?" "I went to see a noted doctor Who's a famous analyst" "And he led me to the couch" "And he gently took my wrist" "I paid him $50" " Well, that sounds pretty cheap." " Cheap?" "I should have paid him nothing." "'Cause I still can't sleep" "Ten thousand four hundred" "And 36 sheep" "And one sheep that got away" "He took it on the lamb." " Ten thousand four hundred" " And 38 sheep" "Won't night ever turn to day?" "Oh, what a fool I am" "How much do I love you?" "Just in case you didn't know" "You get a mental kiss With every sheep I count" "Add them all together That's a large amount" " 'Cause I've counted a trillion sheep" " How many?" " I've counted a billion sheep" " How many?" "Well, at least a million sheep, I know" "How the numbers grow" "And I got about a million more to go" "Ten thousand, 9000 Eight thousand" "Seven thousand Six thousand, 5000" "Four thousand, 3000" "Sheep." "Hey, Steve, will you get the door, please?" " Thanks, boy." " Bix!" " Well..." " Of all people..." " Hello." " I'm so glad to see you." "What's this uniform?" " Are you the doorman here?" " Lower than that." "Superintendent's dog, commandant's cat, hellcats and all the admirals." " What?" " All right, boys, everybody out." "Walk, don't run to the nearest exit." "Women and children first." "I'm rehearsing for a record date tonight." "All these men are from the press." "Leave your names." "Anything comes up, we will call you." "Wait, I'm handling things here." "I'm the press agent." "Your secret is safe." "Now, join the others like a good boy." " But wait a minute..." " Yes, all right, fine." "I'll do the same for you sometime." "Jan Wilson, Jan Wilson." "Hollywood hasn't done a thing, not a thing to tarnish that unspoiled loveliness." "Oh, that haircut." "This you'll have to sit down for." "Sweetheart, you're in for a shock." " What?" " Yup." "I..." " Oh, no." " Oh, yes, yes." "I'm a West Point cadet." " You're a what?" " Yeah." "If things are bad, I'd better unload my government bonds." "I had to get in the act." "I'm putting a show on for them." "The place will never be the same, old boy." "I had to bring you the news." "I took a poll up there to find out who's the top favorite of the movie stars among all the cadets." "All 2500 of them." "And who do you think they picked?" "Who?" " You, Jan Wilson." " Really?" "Oh, isn't that nice?" " Vindicated my judgment." " What's your angle?" " What's your angle?" " Angle?" "You've always got one." "What is it?" "Oh, now, Jannie." "All right, all right." "I do need a favor." "They're giving a hop for the cast next Saturday night." "All great kids, great kids." " And I made them a promise." " What?" " I promised you'd appear." " I've got two recording dates three personal appearances, radio broadcasts, interviews." " I can't do it." " Can't do it, huh?" "Well, I can't find the time to do it." "All right." "All right." " But, Bix..." " Oh, it's all right, it's all right." "Just don't worry about a thing." "Bix, I'm sorry." "Oh, I said it was all right." "All right." "I gave it the old college try." "But just think of me when you're counting your money." "But I said I was sorry." "Oh, well." "Look, sweet, I thought you might as well have these." "The dancing shoes you wore the day I took you out of the chorus." "You didn't tell me you saved these." "Oh, well, how many stars can a guy make in a lifetime?" "But you can't blame a fella for being sentimental." "I went without lunch a whole month to buy them." "Then you didn't know what to do with them." "Remember that first time step I showed you?" " Air taps." " Oh, don't tell me I looked like that." "That was on your good day." "Now, here was one you never could do:" "Move over, old boy, watch this:" " Oh, now, look, sweetie." " What?" "Life isn't all taking." "There comes a time when you gotta do a little giving." "It isn't as though we were absolute strangers." "You just can't let old friendships go unheeded." "And, pal, I do need a favor." "All right, I'll do it." "There's my girl, my girl." "Knew all the time you wouldn't let old Bix down." "Knew it all the time." "My studio's gonna blow a fuse." "It'll be more fun than making a living anyway." "Why, you phony, no-good, two-timing character." " Oh, Bix, it's just like old times." " Oh, no." "Your aim is better." "I can't believe it." "Somewhere along the line, I must have been a very good boy." "Now that I'm here, couldn't we dance together?" "Someone may walk between us, you know." " Buttons, they're guided missiles." " I see what you mean." "Changing the guard, sir." "Every time I see you in that uniform, I break up." "Cute, don't you think?" "What cooks?" "You didn't bring me up here just for laughs." "Step into my office." "Now, look, sweet." "That cadet you were just dancing with, Tom?" " That is Harry Eberhart's nephew." " He is?" "Now, I'm gonna bust that kid out of this joint." "But when I do, he's not gonna sign with his Uncle Harry." "He's gonna sign with Bixby." "And what felony do you want me to commit?" "I want you to give the kid a taste of show business." "She's here, all right, but why?" " Well, didn't you know?" " No." "Well, Bix got her to come up as a blind drag for Tom and Tom got Bix special permission to come to the hop." "Now, tonight, he's gonna ask you to be in the show." "I told him to do it." "And when he starts selling, baby, you start buying." "I came up here for one night, not to make a career out of this." "Now, didn't we say that this was time for a little giving?" "And just think, just think the first dame ever to be in a West Point show." "Do you think I can swing it?" "With what you have to swing?" "Start swinging." "I thought you might enjoy a little refreshment." "Say, that's nice." "For you." "After you, sir." " Do your boys have this?" " Yes." "When she comes up here, give her an introduction and send her right into it, huh?" " Right." "You did a number in your last picture, the "Military Polka."" " We liked it up here." " Oh, thank you." " How about doing it for us now?" " Oh, really, I don't want to sing now." " Come on, they'd enjoy it." " But I didn't bring my music." "Please." " All set?" " All ready." "Put your arms around her shoulder When the order's "Shoulder arms"" "Take a full, firm grip Of the lady and her charms" "If her heart is your objective You can win it right away" "When they play the "Military Polka"" ""To the right flank" is the order And the dancers gaily twirl" " Then it's:" " Left about-face" "So you face your neighbor's girl" "But you turn back to attention Love's the order of the day" "When they play the "Military Polka"" "Hut, two, three, four Hut, two, three, four" "Hut, two, three, four, here they go" "See those military men in line" "See their uniforms Their buttons all a-shine" "It's amazing how erect they stand" "And your heart begins to beat" "Begins to beat to beat the band" "And the band's terrific It's positively great" "When they play for marching And when they syncopate" "Get set" "Fall in" "They're all set to begin" "Hut, two, three, four Hut, two, three, four" "Hut, two, three, four" "Put your arms around her shoulder When the order's "Shoulder arms"" "Take a full, firm grip Of the lady and her charms" "If her heart is your objective You can win it right away" "When they play the "Military Polka"" ""To the right flank" is the order And the dancers gaily twirl" " Then it's:" " Left about-face" "So you face your neighbor's girl" "But you turn back to attention Love's the order of the day" "When they play the "Military Polka"" "See the dancers marching forward Straight across the ballroom floor" "If he steals a kiss All is fair in love and war" "From now on there's no retreating 'Cause you'll fall in love to stay" "You can bet your boots You'll all be recruits" "When they play the mil..." "Military" "The "Military Polka"" " Would you like a little air?" " Fine." "You see, up here, every spring, we put on our show." " Well, that's the musical without girls." " That's right." " Not much fun in that, is there?" " Well, we have to break out sometime." "Sort of celebrate the end of the gloom period." "Look what I've done." "I'm all thumbs." "I'll get it." "What's the name of that song they're playing?" " Oh, that's the ballad from our show." " Is it?" "Sing it for me." "No, no, I'm out of my class." "You're used to professionals." "Oh, come on." "Tonight you may lose your amateur standing." "You love me" "The miracle of miracles" "You love me" "In every dream" "You seem so unattainable" "It's not explainable" "And yet you're mine" "You're mine" "Believe me" "Believe me" "I'm sure this heart of mine" "Would not deceive me" "And even if you never say it" "This I know is true" "You love me" "Just as I love you" "Tom, that was just wonderful." "Oh, and I love that song." "Really, your voice just thrilled me so..." "Here." "Don't spill it." "Kiss her." "Kiss her!" "Not on the hand." "No." "On the mouth." "Look." "Like that." " What's that?" " That's "Army Blue."" "It means we have exactly one hour to get back to barracks before taps." "Will you please tell me what this is all about?" "You know that idea you had about the local playing the princess?" "I've thought it over." "It's positively great." "That's not a local, that's a movie star." "And she's cadet-happy." "And the cadet is movie-star-happy." "And in about five minutes they'll be on Flirtation Walk." "Doesn't that make you wish you were young again?" "I suppose you know this crooked little path is famous." "This isn't the road that's paved with bad intentions, is it?" " Rocks in your shoes?" " Feels like a whole quarry." "I'll get it." "Wonderful little pebbles." "Scattered in the most convenient places." "Slows down the enemy and brings her into range." "Something tells me I'll be safer as a moving target." "Warn you:" "Flirtation Walk gets darker." "Also previously arranged?" "You know, the girls sometimes call this Temptation Walk." "Tom, you know, you really have a beautiful voice." "What are you gonna do with it?" "You know my uncle too?" "Well, yes, but you can't throw away talent like yours." "You could have a great career." "You could be a star." "Well, right now I'm concentrating on a star on my shoulder." "Incidentally, Tom, it was nice of you to ask me." "It was wonderful of you to come." "Oh, I mean about the show." " Do you really want me?" " Want you?" "Well, I mean, if you do, I could arrange my schedule." "That'll be wonderful." " And what a lovely princess you'll make." " Thank you." "Well, what do you know." "By a fortunate coincidence, we're under the Kissing Rock." "Nice maneuvering, general." " Now what?" " Well..." "You've been kissed, I know In the very last row" "When the love scene is on At the movie show" "But wait until tonight And you'll be kissed but right" "By the Kissing Rock" "It's a lovely spot And believe it or not" "If you just care a little You'll care a lot" "So let's dispense with talk And take Flirtation Walk" "To the Kissing Rock" "Now, a girl once refused to kiss a lad" "And the lad was a man of honor" "He warned her she'd make The rock real mad" "And the legend is the rock fell upon her" "That was years ago And it must have been so" "'Cause from that day to this Not a girl said no" " And that's the story of" " Whoever falls in love" "By the Kissing Rock" " What's this for?" " You're supposed to put it on." "And now, so the rock won't fall down and kill us both..." "It's just a legend." "Oh, it's a lovely legend." "And a wonderful timesaver." "Would you stop making a Supreme Court case out of nothing?" " Out of nothing?" " Yes." "How much did Eberhart promise you to come up here?" "Now, look, sweetheart, I've been doing this all for you." " For me?" " Yes." "Why do you suppose I'm in this usher's outfit?" "Because I like to play soldiers?" "No." "All right, I'm gonna get the kid busted out of here." "Does he know what he's got?" "No." "But you know, and so do I." "There's gold in them thar tonsils." "After I've had him a while, we'll own a hunk of the mint." "He doesn't want a hunk of the mint." "I do." "And to get it, you're willing to upset this boy's life." "All his hopes, plans, happiness." "And you brought me along to help you." " I've got your future to think of." " Not mine, you haven't." "Of all the miserable, rotten, contemptible tricks." "Even for you, this is a new low." " Oh, now, sweetheart..." " Don't "sweetheart" me." "This time, I thought you might be on the level." "Well, you're hopeless." "Making you one of the crowd hasn't changed you a single bit." "I'd stick around if I thought I could stop you from ruining that boy's life." "But I can't compete with movie stars." " Let's go inside and talk it over." " No." "I'm going inside, and tomorrow I'm going back to New York." "Go back to your barracks before you're late." "If you don't, they'll throw you out and you won't get your boy, nor your hunk of the mint." "Oh, Eve." "Mr. Bixby." "Yes?" "What are you doing out of your room after taps?" "Have you a pass?" "All right." ""All right"?" "He shouldn't be saying "all right."" "He hasn't got a pass." "At ease, Mr. Bixby." "Mr. Bixby, we've got trouble." "My girl is walking out on me and you've got trouble." "You gave your word." "You said "all right" when you came in, and you had no right to say it." "You weren't authorized to be out after taps." "So I said "all right." What are you gonna do, shoot me at sunrise?" "I don't get up that early." "Mr. Bixby, not so long ago, I heard you talking about your theater." "Its discipline and traditions." "Well, at West Point, we have ours too." "The heart of it is the honor system." "You give your word, we take it." "But by what you did tonight, you dismissed it as unimportant." "Now, that may not mean anything to you." "Now, look, son." "There was no intention of hurting anybody." "But you did, you hurt us." "We vouched for you." "We went out on a limb for you and you sawed it off." "You mean to say that you two personally vouched for me?" "That's right, Tom and I." "By special permission, Mr. Bixby you were allowed to become a member of the corps of cadets." "That's a privilege rarely granted to an outsider." "But you were absent without authority and you lied about it." "That's unforgivable up here, and we can't let you get away with it." "Nobody knows better than we do how much you've done for our show, and we appreciate it." "But since you can't live here as we live here then we can't have you." "West Point has no need for you." "I see what you mean." "Sir Cadet Bixby reports himself late from hop without authority." "Okay, Mr. Bixby." "There he is." "Elwin Bixby, walking punishment tours." "He's on the level." "We have a way of knowing up here." "Look, Eve we need him almost as much as he needs you." "If you walk out on him, you walk out on us too." "How about it?" "Hey, Bix." "I think she's gonna stay." "All right." "Okay, fine, take five." "Hal, I wanna talk to you." "Up to here, show's good and solid." "A lot of good entertainment." "But I think, right about this time, we need a change of pace." "Now, audiences don't only see and hear." "They feel." "Really feel, and that's where we're letting them down." "Now, they should hear your songs." "They should feel what West Point means." "Its history, its tradition, its great men." " You wanna do that in one number?" " They can't shoot us for trying." "We've got the material, the songs and the poems." "I'll tell you what we'll do." "We'll open with the glee club singing "The Corps."" "The corps, the corps" "The corps" "To the long gray line of West Point, to its gallant companies." "The corps bareheaded, salute it" "With eyes up thanking our God" "That we of the corps are treading" "Where they of the corps have trod" "In the beginning, as in all things, it was only a dream." "But the dreamers had names, like Washington Hamilton, Jefferson." "They stood on a point of land on the west bank of the Hudson and planned that this fortress that guarded our newborn nation should become our military academy." "The corps was founded and the father of our country became the father of a legend." "A tradition." "What made this dream become the magnificent reality that is West Point?" "Duty, honor, country" "For a cadet to become an officer, he must have an understanding of duty." "Duty" "He must have respect for honor." "Honor" "But for all his duty and all his honor a soldier fights not only because he is told to fight but because there is something to fight for." "His country." "Country" "Duty, honor, country." "This is why the dream materialized into the stone and steel and spirit that is West Point." "A dream that can be measured by the names of its giants striding through the pages of American history." "Giants whose voices rang so loud that the entire world trembled yet who once were cadets, marching nervously across the plain." "Cadets like Lee, Grant Pershing, MacArthur, Wainwright, Arnold Patton, Bradley, Eisenhower." "And thousands of others who left this point on the Hudson to end their earthly lives in the dirt and mud of foreign lands." "Men who didn't want wars and didn't make wars." "But simply fought them because they had the understanding and the courage to want a free America." "Because, like Washington, Hamilton, Jefferson they believed in a dream that is West Point." "A legend, a tradition, one of the great guardians of human liberty." "Please, God, may we always keep faith with them, as they have with us." "For duty, for honor, for country." "Let duty be well performed" "Honor be ever untarn'" "Country be ever armed" "West Point" "By thee" "Fine, fine." "Couldn't ask that you do it any better." "It was fine, thanks." "Just a minute, Mr. Dumbjohn." " Mr. Gilbert, do your duty." " On-stage, Mr. Dooley, on-stage." "Come on, boys." "What goes, what goes?" "Take me into your confidence." "What is it?" "Mr. Bixby, every year up here after graduation parade the plebes are recognized by all the upperclassmen." "But since you won't be here, we'd like to recognize you now." "You've taken everything we could give you." "And you were great." "So from now on, you're no longer Mr. Dumbjohn." "You're just plain Bix." "We're proud to know you." "Proud to know you, Bix." "Shake hands, boys." "Good boy." "Wait a minute." "Wait a minute, fellas." "I've got a speech too." "Bix, in deep appreciation for everything you've done the fellas in the cast have whipped up this little token." "It's something you'll hold dear to your heart because of your deep affection for all that it implies." "Oh, no, no, no." "Lookie here, now, lookie here." "Well, I'm very happy to see you got one large enough." "From here in, I won't be able to blow my top." "Come on, now, Bix, don't let the shine on that brass hat put a halo around your head." "Yeah, mighty pretty, mighty pretty." "But I would just like to call your attention to one thing." "Only six stars." "Well, fellas, as a general thing, I'm not at a loss for words." "But at a time like this, I can never think of anything to say." "I just want you to know that you've hit me right in the center." "You really have." "Makes me think of a little guy I used to know out in Brooklyn years ago." "Curious little fella and..." "Oh, look, you'll have to excuse me." "My nose gets awfully red." "What are you crying about?" " What's the matter, Bix?" " I'm worried about Tom." "Jan calls him every day." "He persuaded her to be princess in the show." "You should have seen his face when he told me about it." " Kid's on his heels." " Wasn't that your idea?" "Yes, yes, but she's leaving for California on the train tonight." " Sure, unless..." " Unless what?" " Unless she's fallen in love." " Not enough time." "It doesn't take very long." "Remind me sometime to tell you about boys and girls." "But wait until tonight And you'll be kissed but right" "By the Kissing Rock" " What's all this for?" " Flirtation Walk." "The rock, the Kissing Rock." " See?" "That's the way it's done up here." " Oh, is that so?" "Now, how do you know that that's the way it's done up here?" "I've been up here four weeks." "Oh, I see." "Well, beginning tomorrow, I'm putting you on a short leash." "Well, there it is." "West Point." "There's the chapel." "There's Cullum Hall." "And that's the Hudson, of course." "Oh, it's just beautiful." "And this is Fort Putnam." "Built in 1778 to keep away the British." "But it serves a more useful purpose today:" "To keep away Mr. Bixby." "Tom, do you know what they're saying in New York?" " What?" " "Jan Wilson has blown her top." "She goes up the Hudson like the Albany night boat to see a soldier."" " No." " Yes." "Bix, I have the most wonderful news." "Tom asked me to marry him." "Look." "Congratulations, Jan. I envy you." "That is not news, that's calamity." " We love each other, Bix." " Marriage was not part of the deal." "Tom is at West Point, wives are not standard." "Remember, Cupid you shot the arrow." "He doesn't know what he's doing." "But I'm blowing the whistle on you." " You're going back to New York tonight." " How come you're giving out orders?" "Do you own a piece of the Academy now?" " Hello?" " Hollywood..." "Miss Wilson?" "Yeah, she's here, hold on." "California." "Hello?" " Jan." " Speaking." "Jan, what's the matter with you?" "Have you lost your head?" "Who told you to cancel your personal appearances?" "But the New York office approved it, Mr. Jocelyn." "Did the New York office okay your making a fool of yourself with a West Point cadet?" "Now, just a minute, Jan, I'll do the talking." "I'll tell you about your personal life:" "You haven't got one." "You've got a contract." "This studio spent a lot of money to make Jan Wilson a star." "You think we did that just so she could marry an Army officer?" "He might get shipped to Okinawa and take you with him." "And we don't make pictures on Okinawa." "I want you back here on the Coast." "You start a new picture in two weeks." "Now, a company car will take you back to New York." "No, no, no excuses." "You leave West Point immediately." "Goodbye." "Bix I'll never forgive you for that." " Someday she'll thank me." " What for?" "For bringing her up here, messing up her life?" " She's young, she'll get over it." " She's a woman." "She met someone real and wonderful for the first time in her life." " Oh, shut up!" " Don't tell me to shut up!" "Why not?" "Fine, Hal, fine." "Come here, I wanna talk to you." "Look, son, can you arrange to send a car in to New York to get a costume for Eve?" "Sure, why?" "I went up to the commandant's office and got permission for her to do the Brooklyn number with you." "Hey, that's wonderful!" "How did you ever work that?" "Oh, he just kept talking and wore the poor man down." "Which, may I say, was not easy." "Bix." "Can I talk to you a minute?" " Tom's checked out." " He's what?" "I found him talking crazy." "Jan walked out." "He's desperate." "He's going after her with all his things." "I'm going after him." " Can you get leave?" " No, I'll get slugged." " It'll be worth it if I can get him." " Wait, I'll go get him." " You may need me." " All right." "Eve, take over." "It isn't as simple as making a choice between marriage and a career." "We have obligations." "I understand your life, darling." "Please try to understand mine." " But I do understand." " Tom." "At 15, I was singing in a band." "Making one-night stands when other girls were going to high school dances." "At 17, I had a Hollywood contract." "I'm a commodity now, I'm not a woman." "You know something, Tom?" "All my life, I've never known a boy like you." "I guess I never had time." "I've had plenty of time to think things out." "Somehow, being a soldier doesn't seem so important anymore." "Tom, you can't give up your career." "Plenty of people, even you, said I could earn a living in a theater." " Bixby wants me." " Bix?" "He can't do anything for you, darling." "He can't even get a job for himself." "My uncle wants me for a show." "I'll get a job." "Jan, will you marry me?" "I can't, Tom." "I can't." "All there is?" "Please go back before it's too late." " Thought I told you to go to Hollywood." " Are you out of your mind?" "Why are you here?" "You're AWOL, you'll get slugged." " They'll bust you out on your ear." " Not me." "I resigned." " Resigned?" " You can't resign." "I sent a letter to the superintendent, through channels." "Subject:" "Resignation." "Intention:" "Marriage." "We've gotta get that letter back." " You can't, it's too late." " Oh, no." "Through channels, it takes time to get to the superintendent's desk." "You are coming with us." "There's a plane leaving for California at 9." "You be on it." "Fletcher, Courtland." " Yes?" " I've got some bad news for you, Fletcher." "I've got an order from the commandant's office." "You and Courtland are to return to your quarters." "You're under arrest." "Okay." "Battalion." "Attention." ""Attention to orders." "By direction of the commandant the 100th Night Show is herewith cancelled."" "I say again:" ""By direction of the commandant the 100th Night Show is herewith cancelled."" "Oh, how are Tom and Hal?" "I just talked to them." "They're both pretty low, especially Tom." "Bix, we appreciate your effort to square matters with the commandant." "Too bad it didn't work." "Oh, you know, it's great, really great." "For over a hundred years, this show has always gone on." "Civil War, Spanish American War, World War I, World War II." "Nothing could stop it." "Bixby comes to West Point:" "Forget it." "How about next year?" "Will you come up again and put on the show?" "Too far off, son." "Where is Eve?" "I spend half my life waiting for that dame." "We're gonna miss that train." "Eve, come on!" "Come on!" "You wanna miss the train?" "Where you been?" "I've been doing a little research." " You what?" " Here, read this." ""U.S. To fete French premier." "General Marcell Donet arrives in New York."" "So a Frenchman comes to town." "What can he do?" "Plenty." "Listen to this:" ""The shah of Iran at West Point." "Secures amnesty for cadets."" "You see, Bix, amnesty is a famous custom up here." "Royalty, heads of state, kings, queens, all diplomats when visiting West Point are given reviews." "They lay out the red carpet, and in return, they can request amnesty." "A pardon, remember?" "Just like the princess bit in the show." "Sure." "Last fall, the shah of Iran." "A lot of us were slugged, couldn't go the Army-Navy game he came and got us off the hook." "Well, if Donet can do that for us, I'll have him up here if I have to carry him all the way on my back." "Now, trick is, how to get in to see him?" "Who do we know?" "My girl's mother knows the secretary of state." " My uncle knows Gen. Eisenhower." " My father knows Gen. Bradley." " I know Touture." " One of our best officers." "How many of you have weekend leave?" " All of us." " Well, then, pile in." "Come on." "And you, sweetheart, hold the fort and I'll bring you a Frenchman." "But, David, the whole idea is absolutely impossible." "But, Dad, if you can't do this little favor, what's the use of your being a senator?" "Sometimes I wonder." "I wonder myself." "Yes." "Yes, sir." "I know, sir..." "But will you at least mention it to the honorable secretary of state?" "He's in Europe?" "Well, whereabouts in Europe?" "You can't just brush this off." "This is really important." " And you tell me you can do nothing." " I've tried my best, Mr. Bixby." "But the premier is locked up in conference with the president." "He said he's very sorry, but it is impossible for him to see you." "A fine way to treat a taxpayer." "Come on." "Hello?" "Charlie and I waited outside the French Embassy all day." "We find out the premier went from the White House to New York." "Then we go to New York." " Take us to the airport." " Yes, sir." "This is very tragic, monsieur." "But it is impossible for His Excellency to see you." "He's very busy." " I speak English, monsieur." " Then you know what this mission is about?" "Yes, and it leaves me in the most embarrassing position." "Well, Your Excellency, I don't wanna take up your time to tell you about the Gls and cadets up at West Point who fought to help liberate France and their friendship with the French people." "Yes, but how come, monsieur?" " I'm a guest of your country." " Yeah." "Your State Department has made plans for me." "I know, Excellency." "But these cadets need liberation now." "And you are the one man in the country who can ask for amnesty and get it." "You just can't refuse." "If the French people hear about this..." "These things do have a way of getting back." "Monsieur, I'm very sorry, but it is absolutely impossible." "Impossible?" "Well, didn't wanna do this and I'm very sorry to have to flash that on you." "This is our highest decoration." "Some way or another, monsieur, it will be arranged." "I shall be very glad to be of service." "I didn't know you spoke French." "Picked it up from a chick at the Folies Bergêre." "Your request for amnesty shall be granted." "You saved them." "Bix, you saved them." "You know, I like kissing you much better than I do the premier." "Do I have to curtsy?" "My girl's out there." "My father and mother are out there too." "I'll never live this down." " Couldn't I just bow?" " And destroy the whole illusion?" "Come on, chin up, princess, and suck up that royal gut." "Sir, the princess has arrived." "You love me" "You love me" "The miracle of miracles" "You love me" "In every dream" "You seem so unattainable" " It's not..." " It's not explainable" "And yet you're mine" "You're mine" "Believe me" " Jan's back." " Yeah." "Relax, princess, you got a reprieve." "I'm sure this heart of mine" "Would not deceive me" "And even if you never say it" "This I know is true" " You love me" " You love me" " Just as I love you" " Just as I love you" "Just think." "If we were only opening with this show on Broadway tonight." "It isn't going to open on Broadway, and never will." "When that curtain goes down tonight, they'll stick it in the archives." "And for all the future I have, they might just as well stick me with it." "How do you like it, Bix, huh?" "You look fine, son." "Fine." "Don't go far away." " You'll be on in a few minutes." " Okay, Bix." "Eve, I've been mulling this thing over." "If that job in Las Vegas is still open I suggest you grab it." "Las Vegas?" "Bix, I'm your memory." "I'm your feet." "You can't work without me." "Work?" "In a few minutes, I'm gonna be out of a job." "And jobs are gonna be awfully scarce on Broadway." " Especially for me." " You can say that again." "You double-crossed me again." "Tom was almost busted out of this place and you got him back in." "Now, why?" "Because the kid wants to graduate from West Point." "Being in the Army means more to him than anything else in the world." "Didn't wanna see his career ruined." " Couldn't have it on my conscience." " Your conscience?" "Oh, that's a laugh." "Now, let me tell you something." "I asked them to give me this play to do on Broadway." "I'm gonna get it." "But you're not going to do it." "And do you know why?" "Because you've double-crossed me for the last time." "You're through, you're dead, you're washed up." "You'll never work in show business again as long as you live." "I'll see to that." " I'm through, I'm all washed up." " For good!" "Well, in that case, I've got nothing to lose." " Hal." " Hal." "Hal." "Hal." "Are you hurt, huh?" "Get out." " How are you?" " I guess I forgot to duck." "How do you feel?" "Do you think you could go on?" " All right, I think." " You think?" "Well, get on your feet and see how you are." " What is it?" " My knee." "Your knee?" "Well, punch-happy, what do we do now?" "Go get ready." "Attention." "You there, where are you from?" "San Francisco, sir." " You?" " Well, I'm from Texas." " How about you?" " Los Angeles." " You?" " I'm from Boston." "I suppose you're not interested in hearing where I come from." " What?" " I said:" ""I suppose you're not interested in hearing where I come from."" " All right, where are you from?" " Me?" "I'm from:" "B- postrophe, K-no-postrophe, L-Y-N" "They know my shield From Ebbets Field to Cheyenne" "You can keep those other places" "Just give me that oasis" "Where it's "erl," not "oil" And a girl's a goil" "And goils are goils at 28 paces" "B- postrophe, K-no-postrophe, L-Y-N" "That's the place I make me home in." "They know my shield From Ebbets Field to Cheyenne" "That's a spot out in Wyoming." "The Manhattanites don't want us" "Heap abuse upon us" "They will gladly yell we are not Chanel" "But Chanel don't smell Quite like the Gowanus" "B- postrophe, K-no-postrophe, L-Y-N" "Your mother wears suspenders." "Agree or not We're just as hot as cayenne" "And when they ask "Are you going my way?"" "They're asking you To take a walk up King's Highway" "B- postrophe, K-no-postrophe, L-Y-N" "It could only happen in Brooklyn" "On a street called Avenue D" "If you've never been there You'll tell me it can't" "You'll tell me it's fantasy" "But this happened to me" "I was walking down to the subway" "Yeah, I travel by BMT" "When I bumped Right into a fabulous wench" "From some other century" "Yes, this happened to me" "What a lucky break That she was going my way" "'Cause we strolled down King's Highway" "She murmured:" "And I asked her:" ""Are you sure?" It could only happen in Brooklyn" "When a he meets up with a she" "They get hitched And after the honeymoon, bam" "They're raising a family" "This should happen to me" "B- postrophe, K-no-postrophe, L-Y-N" "They know my shield From Ebbets Field to Cheyenne" "You can keep those other places" "Give me that oasis" "Where it's "erl," not "oil" And a girl's a goil" "And goils are goils at 28 paces" "B- postrophe, K-no-postrophe, L-Y-N" "Agree or not It's just as hot as cayenne" "It matters not What stuff you've been reading" "Brooklyn is the U.S.A. 's Garden of Eden" "B- postrophe, K-no-postrophe..." " Manhattan!" " What?" " Listen!" " Who said that?" " We!" " No." "Canarsie!" "B- postrophe, K-no-postrophe, L-Y-N" "My home" "Brooklyn!" "Wonderful, Eve." "Oh, Bix, you were great, terrific." " Thanks." "How do you feel?" " Fine." " Leg all right?" " Sure." " You able to do the finale?" " Right." "Thanks." "Don't thank him." "The ham loved it." "Bix." " All is well?" " Oh, better than that." " That's fine, princess, fine." " Just call me Mrs. Second Lieutenant." " I think we'll be stationed in Brooklyn." " Still better." "Miss Eve Dillon and Mr. Elwin Bixby." "Eve, Bix, we really wanna thank you." "West Point wants to thank you." "You once said you'd like to produce this show on Broadway." "Well, on behalf of the United States Military Academy we'd like to present you with the book..." "Rudy?" " And the songs from this 100th Night Show." "It's yours." " Take it with you and make it a hit." " Well, I just wanna say that nothing like this has ever happened to me before." "But then, ever since I've been up here every day's been Christmas for me." "Makes me think of a little fella I used to know in show business years ago." "A curious little guy, and..." "What I'm trying to say is I'm deeply, deeply grateful." "This is the finale" "We have finally come to that time" "Better known as coat-and-hat time" "Here's the place We get to face your cheers or hisses" "This is the finale" "It's where the whole cast freezes" "Which means reprises are coming up" "A reprise is a thing that we sneak in with" "We repeat the songs You hated to begin with" "By the Kissing Rock By the Kissing Rock" "Either night or day All around the clock" "You can depend on this" "It's always time to kiss" " By the Kissing Rock" " By the Kissing Rock" "See the dancers marching forward Straight across the ballroom floor" "If he steals a kiss All is fair in love and war" "From now on there's no retreating 'Cause you'll fall in love to stay" "When they play the "Military Polka"" "He's from B-postrophe K- no-postrophe, L-Y-N" "That's the place I make me home in." "B- postrophe, K-no-postrophe" "L" " Y-N" "And now that it's over I'll sure miss the going to classes." "Miss you cadets, yes, the brasses." "So take my thanks to all the ranks, with love and kisses." "This is the finale" "The end" "[ENGLISH]"