"If you don't know who your mother is, you can't miss her." "I've never wondered what my mother looks like." "We just didn't have a mother." "Besides, I don't have time for a mother." "I don't even have time for a husband." "My sister Daan does." "She's married to Joost." "God knows why." "Daan always did miss a mother." "And now she wishes she was one herself." "But for some reason this isn't working out with Joost." "Our fathers actually had the right idea." "They've been together for 35 years and are still in love." "They met in the Seventies." "Two gay guys with a desire to have children." "An American hippie became our surrogate mother." "She gave birth to us went back to America and we never heard from her again." "I've always felt responsible for Daantje." "I'm her older sister, after all." "OK, by ten minutes, but still." "So we grew up with little mom but lots of dad." "Can I have a bit of your sausage?" "But to say they were adventurous..." "Robert, Otuzia's doing the interview." " Good." "And could you maybe have a look at this." "Let's hope your new direction doubles the circulation and the board agrees." "Or we'll have someone else do it." "I've never even wondered if I look like my mother." "Maybe I got my ambitious side from her." "Or maybe she's much more like Daan?" "Is she as insanely chaotic as Daan?" "Maybe I just didn't want to picture her." "Because the good thing about an absent mother is that she can be anyone." "Until that one phone call." "Hello, Sofie speaking." "Jackie?" "In a hospital?" "Yes, and she can't stay there, so..." "Who's Jackie?" "Our mother." " Well, our womb." "She has a complex leg fracture and has to go to a rehabilitation center." "But she has no relatives, so we have to go there." "We?" "Aren't you curious?" " No." "Daan, we have that appointment next week." "Which appointment?" " Nothing." "What kind of appointment?" "Oh, so IVF after all?" " Mars..." "Hold on. 'IVF after all?" "'" "I don't know anything." " When was I supposed to tell you?" "Excuse me, do we ever talk to each other?" " That's not just my fault." "So you..." " Girls, please." "If we cancel we'll end up on a waiting list again." "We can easily go back and forth in a week." "Why wouldn't you want to go there?" " I'm way too busy." "A sign of life from your mother after 30 years and you're too busy." "Mother?" "She's just an egg donor." "That's true, isn't it?" "We were in her belly together for nine months, you know." "I think that's..." " Sorry, but I'm not like you." "I haven't been dreaming and fantasizing about that woman all my life." "Sorry." "I'll go by myself then." " Sure, Daan." "Come on..." "Yes?" "What are you afraid of?" "Right." "Sofie speaking." " Where are you?" "Hey, Robert." " Rosa's looking for you." "I'm not at the office." "I want to work without being interrupted all the time." "What do you mean?" " At home." "Fine, but I need to know how the work's proceeding." "I'll keep you posted." " Good girl." "Bye." "Bye." " 'Just at home'?" "I really have to work hard this week, so not a lot of lame chit-chatting." "Course not." "Imagine, having some fun." " Daantje..." "That might not be her." "You think there's someone else in this hell-hole with her leg in a cast?" "Look." "She kept that on her for all those years." "What am I supposed to call her?" "New Mexico is supposed to be great." " I don't give a shit." "Can't you just work on our way there?" " So you're going to drive?" "Daan, she doesn't want to." "She doesn't want us." "Who cares about that cripple?" "I'm done." "Am I talking to the walls, or what?" "She's just taking us for a ride." "I've lost her again." "I just don't get this." "I can't deal with this." "Sorry, I need to go outside." "Just take the rice." "It has nothing in it." " Rice?" "Rice is a carbohydrate horror show." " Excuse me." "You're smiling sweetly, but you understand fuck-all, right?" "It's weird that she's over there and we're here." "Pardon?" "She wants soy sauce." "I think she's mentally retarded." " Give me a break!" "She's just hungry." "Maybe she lives here because she's wanted for child abduction or murder." "I wouldn't be surprised." " How do you come up with that?" "It says more about you than about her." " Sure, put it over there." "She's got the runs already." "She's just traumatized." " That woman is a complete nutcase." "Anger always hides a kind of sadness, doesn't it?" "Maybe Marcel was the love of her life." "I don't know." "Or she wasn't able to have other kids." "That's just sad, isn't it?" "See something?" " No." "What's wrong?" " Nothing." "It's the only thing she's got." "Don't you get that?" "Want me to drive 500 miles in that rust bucket?" "No way!" "Give me a minute, I'll deal with her." "And?" " Huh?" "We'll take the RV." "Really?" "Come." "Keep it coming." "Stop!" "Damn it!" " Jesus, Sofie." "Jesus, you nearly crushed me." " Then stand where I can see you." "Hold on." "Hello!" "Wait a sec." "Jesus!" "Got a good look?" "Inbred face." " Wait." "That door is still open!" "Couldn't you have waited for a second?" "Yes, Rosa." "I just told you." "I get that, but I'm the chief editor so just send it, OK?" "Joost never lets me do this because of the airbag." "He says that if it explodes you'll break all the bones in your legs." "What are you looking for?" " Some info about her." "So does it work?" "Avoiding carbs?" "It does." "It gives me a lot of energy." "Really?" " Yes, can't you tell?" "What are you writing?" "About raising children." " Really?" "With tips and all that stuff?" "You don't have to show an interest, you know." "I'm just asking you about your job." " I don't feel like talking about it." "Sorry." "I just thought:" "You live for your job, so I'll ask about it." "How's your love life?" "Still a happy single?" "Yes, a happy single." "And sex?" " Sex, yes." "I do that sometimes." "I still know how to do it." "Jesus, I'm not a nun." "What about you and Joost?" " Very good." "His Ministry will be opened next week." "His first big..." "I'm talking about your sex life, airhead." " Oh, sorry." "Yes, awesome." "You have an awesome sex life?" " I don't want to talk about it." "I read something about sex:" "There are 12 reasons for having sex." "Know what else?" "Save the semen put it on your face like a mask and sleep with it all night." "It helps the blood flow." " I've heard enough, thank you." "Careful." "Be careful, please." "Fuck!" " Try to turn it." "No, we're not." "I can see that too." " Relax, Soof." "I'm not relaxed." "I'm fucking hot and that woman works on my nerves." "Who was that?" " The rehabilitation center." "She'll lose her spot if we're not on time." " So?" "So we'll be there on time." "What the hell is she doing?" "She's making a fire." "It's 40 degrees." "What the fuck!" "It gets very cold here at night, you know." "It's 8 miles, so a two-hour walk tops." " Are you sure?" "It's too far away and it's too hot as well." "Soof, be careful, OK?" "Take some water along, at least." "Rosa, listen." "If you're going to restyle a magazine, you have to be consistent." "Get it?" "I mean, I e-mailed you three times about that this week." "Yes, I did." "No, I want ten pages of pictures." "I don't want..." "I'm sure, but it's too soft." "It has to be much more shocking." "It has to be..." "Sofie?" " Hello?" "I thought I'd try this, because I only get your voicemail." "But I'm not..." " I know you're very busy, but..." "I'm... stuck with a rather hard issue." "Yes, but I'm on a conference call with Sofie." "Oh Sofie, hi, it's good to speak to you." "Hold on." "Let me." "Sofie?" "Turn on your camera." "Makes communicating a lot more pleasant." "Hold on a sec." " I'll wait." "I'm here." " Jesus Christ, you look terrible." "Oh, right, I had..." "What's it called?" "A leak, so..." " Right." "And the plumber serviced you as well." "Seriously, though." "I talked to a few board members." "And I think it might be better to drop that new direction." "No, but..." "If I can do the interview, I can write the article." "Then you'll know exactly what I mean." "But if Rosa can't track down the number, I can't..." "Hello Sofie, I've been trying to reach you all the time." "They agree, you see, but it has to be done today." "Recharger!" "What?" "Hold on." "Today?" "Yes, in a conference call." "Not on the phone." "That's fine." "No problem." "Give me 30 minutes and then..." "Not working anymore?" " No, it's not." "Damn it." "Now I can't work." "You know, I was thinking, just wait until tomorrow and explain..." " Please you know nothing about that world." "So never mind." "Sorry." "I just thought..." " You'd better not." "Jesus." "You're such a moper." "I might lose my job." "Don't you get that?" "What's wrong?" "What did you do?" " A snake." "Easy." "Easy." "Just lie down." "Damn it, what is it here?" "112?" "No, 0611." "OK, I'm driving." "OK, I'm driving." "Sweetheart, we're going for a quick drink." "If you need be, I'll just be next door." "OK?" "Hi, Robert." " Jesus Christ, there you are." "Where were you?" "We've been trying to get a hold of you." "The board meeting has been put forward." "Be here in an hour." "Why couldn't we reach you yesterday?" "Good thing Rosa did your interview." "She kicked ass, by the way." "If you're not here in an hour, I'll let her handle the meeting too." "Well, do what you have to, Robert, because I'm in New Mexico." "I've been bitten by a snake, while you..." " Wait..." "New Mexico?" "America?" "Jesus Christ, did I miss something?" "What are you doing in America?" "I mean..." "You live for the Crush." "Know what?" "I don't care." "You're easily replaced." "I'm easily replaced?" "You'll force your hard issue on my replacement too?" "What the hell?" "Are Rosa's interviews as good as her blowjobs?" "Who do you think you are?" "Know what?" "Just stay in New Mexico." "Splitting headache." "Is he gone?" " Hey, you're awake." "Good." "How do you feel?" " I've got a splitting headache." "My foot's all right." "Do this." "It's freezing." "You won't believe it, but it's snowing." "Here's a coat." "Mittens." "What are you doing?" " How do you think we got here?" "It was her idea." "Daan, you're not doing this." "You don't have a license." "What the heck is this?" "'Rosa's interviews are as good as her blowjobs, actually.'" "'PS:" "You can forget about Crush." "Have fun in New Mexico.'" "Jesus, Daan." "Fuck!" "Hi Robert, it's Sofie." " The Sofie who left for America?" "I'm very, very sorry." " You're not sorry at all." "Rosa's going to handle the meeting." " What?" "Crush no longer needs you." "Right?" "Cheerio!" " Robert?" "Hello?" "God damn it, Daan!" " Sorry." "Let go off me!" "Rosa did the interview and the board meeting!" "Rosa does a lot of stupid things." "You have no idea." "Don't let that sexist moron order you..." " You should talk!" "What do you mean?" " Don't be so two-faced." "You're conning Joost." " What does he have to do with this?" "You let yourself be dragged to an IVF clinic while you're on the pill!" "My job is none of your business." "Come on!" "Why are you lying to Joost?" "If you don't want kids with him, just tell him!" "Just like you told Robert you'd work at home?" "Jesus, Daantje!" " Shut it with 'Daantje'." "My name is Daan, not Daantje, damn it." "I'm just as old as you are and just as smart." "Please, honestly..." "Why do you always make me feel I'm stupid?" "I don't!" " You do!" "I don't!" "You do that yourself." "Just think about that." "That's what I mean." "Always the same bullshit." "Always the same fucking last word." "Always." " Bullshit." "You can open your mouth too, but you don't dare." "You always want to be the sweet child." "Play mommy and daughter with Jackie." "Awesome!" "Come and have a look." "Look!" "This is great!" "Sofie!" "This is awesome!" "Come on." "Look!" "Isn't it awesome?" "Wait, I'm going to get dressed." " Hurry." "What did you do?" " Nothing." "She suddenly started to cry." "I think we have to make sure that it keels like this." "Hey, Sofie." " Hello." "Look at this." "Hey, Daan." " Hi, sweetheart." "Daan, what are you doing?" " I'm driving." "I can see that." "Pull over." "This is extremely dangerous." "I could have died ten times already." "I've driven lots of miles, you know." "Daan grow up, damn it." "This is not good." "Pull over right now." "May I interrupt you, Joost?" "My sister is actually driving as if she's done it all her life." "Sofie, was this your idea?" " No, our womb's." "If there's a problem, maybe..." "We are..." "Can't be reached." "You were very good." "What you said to Joost was sweet." " It's just the truth." "About the pill, right?" "You don't have to justify yourself to me." " I know that, but I..." "I'd be the first to understand you don't want kids." "But I don't understand why you lie to Joost about it." "Neither do I." "I've been taking it for a year." " A year?" "You know what it is:" "Every time I want to talk to Joost about it he comes up with all sorts of arguments and reasons." "At some point I think:" "Fine, you're right." "And then I just do what he says." "If you don't want kids, you don't." "End of story." "But I do want kids." "Just not with him." "Please, no." "Please!" "What's happening?" "What's wrong with her?" "Is she smoking a joint?" "What's that?" "I've seen one before." "What?" " Right before we left." "Why didn't you tell me?" " I thought you'd refuse to come." "Betaseron is used with MS." "Abilities are lost, dizziness, severe pain, bladder problems memory disorder, exhaustion." "Cannabis may offer temporary relief." "Jesus!" "How awful." "Maybe she has..." "Does she mean she wants to die?" "What kind of bullshit is that?" "Why are you looking at me like that, bitch!" "Daan, please." "Damn it!" "I..." "Jesus Joost, now what?" "What do you want?" "Robert." "Still, yes." "I don't know." "It depends..." "I thought you'd let Rosa handle everything." "OK, so her blowjobs are better than her writing." "Yes, I'm sure you have a huge problem." "Your restyling idea hits bull's eye." "They're completely convinced of your new direction with Crush." "Sofie?" "Really?" " Yes, but only with you in charge." "That's great." " Yes, it is." "If you could be here by the end of the week..." "End of the week." "You know, Robert, I'll still be here for the time being." "You have to come back and get to work." "Have to?" "I don't have to do anything." "Especially not with you." "I'll make you a deal." "A lot has happened." "How about a business class ticket?" "Bye, Robert." "Cheerio!" " Hang on..." "I think not speaking is a family trait." "Don't worry, honey, it doesn't matter." "Look." "I'm going to film it for the dads." "Do something." " We have to get up." "You're the eldest." " By ten minutes." "Weird." "It doesn't even have an airbag." "What are you doing?" " Checking the oil." "Chin chin." "If you've heard it already, tell me." "It's very lame." "Why do rabbits only need to brush two teeth?" "Don't know." " Because they... no." "I gave away the punchline!" "I gave away the punchline." "Why do rabbits go to bed so early?" " Don't know." "Because they only need to brush two teeth." "Jesus." "Yeah..." "Hold on." "It's Joost." "Wanna bet?" "Hey Daan, has your mother already reached her destination, or...?" "Actually, yes." "Want to see it?" " Yes, OK." "What am I looking at?" "Jesus, what's...?" "Come to the phone, so we can talk." "Daan!"