"It's just the same as before, Mr Herriot." "Thank you." "(Tristan ) What's the verdict?" " We haven't reached one yet." "I don't know what to make of it, Mr Herriot." "In me college days, I was always told you got a big swollen bag and dirty milk with them mastics." "But this must be a different kind." "It's just the flaky bits in the milk?" "Aye, the same as when you last came." "Only off and on and neither nowt nor summat." "I'm right fed up." "It isn't ordinary mastitis." " (James ) Thanks a lot." "It's worrying the way it keeps going on." "I'm certain there's a definite factor behind it." "I wish I could put a finger on it." "(Tristan screaming)" " Oh, Mr Farnon!" "What's up, Olive?" " Marigold stood on his foot." "Are you all right, Tris?" " It's nothing, just a broken toe." "It can be a bugger when they put their weight on." "Let's have a look." "We don't want it getting germinated." "I wouldn't dream of putting you to so much inconvenience." "It's no trouble, lad." " It's very kind." "If I can get to the car, we'll cut the boot off at home." "Oh!" "If Miss Olive could just give me a hand." "Just you lean on me, Mr Farnon." "There." "That's the way." "Now, take it slow as you please." "He's plucky, there's no denying." "I like to see that in a young fella." "I've got a lot of time for Mr Pickersgill." "He gets all his words mixed up like Mrs, er..." "Mrs Malaprop." "I've noticed that a few times." " But you can't laugh at him." "He's a good stockman." "He looks after his beasts." "There are four children grown up and gone away but he brought them all up decently on ten cows, I think he had, his wife's hens and a few pigs." "It's no mean achievement." " No, it isn't." "What are these college days he talks about?" "He went on a two-week course for agricultural workers at Leeds University at 19." "Two weeks have lasted a lifetime." "Men have got less out of four years at Oxford." "He's got a problem now." " The flaky milk?" "It's how he milks them?" " Hm." "I've watched them both." "He hauls away as though he were trying to ring in the New Year." "Chronic mastitis of traumatic origins." "I see your difficulty." "I know Olive wouldn't in the least mind doing the milking herself but I would hate to hurt his feelings." "Try having a word with Olive on the side." "It's the best idea yet." "Would you like a beer?" " Hm, please." "At least you'll dealing with a Pickersgill and not a Sidlow." "Sidlow?" " You don't know them?" "I don't think I do, in fact." "I find that remarkable." "You've never been called to the Sidlows'?" "No, but that's right." "They always happen when I'm on." "What's so special about them?" "The Sidlows were created to try the lives of unhappy vets." "They are the crosses which each of us must expect to bear." "As bad as that?" " Worse." "You've had an astonishing run of luck." "It can't possibly last." "Your turn will come, be sure of that." "All quiet on the western front?" "(Siegfried) It was." " Care for a pint, James?" "Well..." " (Siegfried) Go on." "Why not?" "Thank you." "45 minutes to closing." "I doubt even Tristan can get sloshed in that time." "He puts things so charmingly." "It's hard to take offence." "How's the foot, by the way?" " Foot?" "Oh, that." "Oh, it's fine." "Just a bit of skin off the instep." "What did he do to his foot?" "One of Pickersgill's cows trod on it." "What were you doing up there?" "I haven't qualified yet." "I have an awful lot to learn." "As it was my free afternoon..." " Oh, shut up and buzz off." "See he behaves himself, James." " I'll try." "Hello, old fella." "(Phone rings )" " Shh!" "(Door closes ) - (Phone rings )" "Darrowby 85." "Yes, speaking." "Who?" "What is it this time, Mr Sidlow?" "One has to look at it from a woman's point of view." "What does that mean?" " Must I spell it out?" "Helen could have captured any man she chose." "Handsome, rich, successful." "Like Edmundson?" " Since you mention him." "She's as wise as she is beautiful." "She chooses you." "Young, devoted, steady, hardworking." "You'll make her a very good husband." "Thank you." "You make it sound so romantic." "That's what I was coming to." "What are your honeymoon plans?" "I don't know." "Drive around the Dales and stop at little pubs." "You see?" "As a friend with your best interests at heart," "I can say it - you're not a romantic." "So what do you propose?" "You must learn to be." "It's so important to a woman." "Without romance their lives are unfulfilled." "I'll bear that in mind." " You'll start right." "The Dales and little pubs are not the stuff honeymoons are made of." "Good Lord, is that the time?" "It's your call, old chap." "Two pints of bitter, please." "Tris?" "Glass." "Thank you." "All right." "What are honeymoons made of?" "I've given it some thought." "Look at this." "Thank you." "It's a fortnight's cruise in the Mediterranean." "40 quid!" "Where will I find 40 quid?" "That's your trouble." "The mundane approach." "No romance." "Think big." "Once you face the problem it's half-solved." "With £10 in my account I can see that." "That is a problem, I grant you." "Thank you." "To the face that launched a thousand ships and burnt the topless towers of Ilium." "Helen, dear boy." " Oh." "Let the thought of her inspire you." "Imagine yourselves on the great ship, gliding through the summer seas, the soft, spicy air, jolly games on deck," "Stromboli erupting by night." " Stromboli?" "!" "They go that way sometimes." "It's just the feeling I was creating." "It doesn't create 40 quid." " No, it doesn't." "Have you thought of playing the horses?" "Two bob on the favourite is about my limit." "That won't raise the fare." "It's worth considering." "I've got a bookie I use." "Siegfried gets the odd tip but he keeps quiet about it." "Thanks, I appreciate the thought but I don't have that kind of luck." "Hup!" "Hup!" "Come on!" "Hup!" "Right." "Thank you." "Let's have a look, lady." "How old is she, Mr Sidlow?" "25." "Or thereabout." "It's a goodish age for any horse." "There's another five years' work in her yet." "I trust you intend that as a joke." "But I see you don't." "Let me be plain." "The poor creature's moribund." " Hm?" "At the point of death, if you prefer." "You mean there's nowt you can do for her?" "How long have you been treating her, Mr Sidlow?" "Six days." "Aye." "She were a bit colicky, that's all." "I stopped that." "Now she seems, er..." "uneasy on her feet, like." "I suppose you've been administering one of your father's sovereign remedies?" "Well, I've never known it to fail till this once." "What was it, man?" " The old trick." "I've been pushing raw onion up her rectum." "Three times a day." "I see." "It's hardly worth saying, I know, but if I'd pushed 18 raw onions up yours the chances are you'd be uneasy on your feet, too." "Bring her outside, please." "Outside?" "What for?" "I don't like unnecessary suffering." "I'm going to put her down." "Thou'll do no such thing." "I'm not in the habit of repeating myself." "You'll do as I say." "At once, Mr Sidlow." "Come on." "I should never have mentioned his name." "I conjured the devil." "Mind you, James, Sidlow thinks he's a just and humane man." "He usually gives his sick beasts a week's devoted nursing before calling us in." "Onions for horses." "A sick cow gets half a pound of lard and raisins thrust down her gullet three times a day." "The udder must be vigorously massaged with turpentine and he cuts off the end of the tail to let out the bad." "We have to be summoned when he knows we can't do much good." "He wants to give his animal every chance and it proves his contention that vets are useless." "Thanks for telling me." "I should also advise you that the inevitable presence of his five children, who hang around like a silent chorus in a Greek tragedy, can be unnerving if you're not prepared for it." "I see." "Anything else?" "I don't think so." "Just an obvious precaution." "Always turn the horses for home." " Hm?" "Park your motorcar so you're ready for a smart getaway." "Mostly bills." "A couple of cheques." "I don't know what this one is." "A classy piece of stationery." "Hm." "Well, well." "That really is rather nice." "What is?" "No bushel could possibly conceal a light like mine." "It burns with a flame that demands recognition." "Nice build-up." "What's the letdown?" " Isn't one." "Major General HW St John Ransom requests the pleasure of my company at Broughton Races." "Is that all?" " It's a great deal." "So some old blimp's invited you to the races." "Major General Ransom is one of the big noises of the northwest racing circuit." "And their officials are looking for a veterinary surgeon to supervise all meetings." "This can only mean one thing." "They're going to examine me for soundness." "I've heard that they think I might be the man for the job." "They haven't asked you yet?" " No but they probably will." "If you took it, would that mean giving up general practice?" "No." "It'd mean my spending three days a week on racecourses, which would affect this end..." "Are you going to accept?" " I don't know." "One must weigh all the pros and cons." "But it is an important job." "The supervisory vet has to deal with cases of suspected doping." "In fact, he has to be something of a specialist, which as far as horses go, is precisely what I am." "I think I'll take James." "It says "and partner", doesn't it?" "You don't think just possibly you're jumping to conclusions?" "No, Tristan, I don't." " (Phone )" "Oh, thank you, Mrs Hall." "On the whole it would be a most congenial life." "I love the life of the racing world." "I feel very much a part of it." "The extra money would come in handy, no question." "There's no doubt about anything, it would seem." "The date for your invitation is certainly propitious " "Friday the 13th." "Tristan, if you're not being tiresome, you're being absurd." "I'm the least superstitious man I know." "Who was that?" " Mr Pickersgill." "He dosed one of his pigs for worms and now it's gone bezique." "Bezique?" " That's what he said." "Sounds interesting." "What are the symptoms?" "He said it's rampageous, jumping about and rolling over." "(Tristan laughs )" " Sounds pretty lively." "(James ) It looks as though she's going to be all right." "What did you give her?" " Morphine hydrochloride." "What did you give her?" " Me?" "You said something about worm medicine." "Oh, aye, that's right." "A bloke came round selling this." "He said it'd shift any worms you cared to name." "It nearly shifted your pig." "No wonder!" "This smells like pure turpentine." "Turpentime?" "!" "Is that all it is?" "Bloke said it was summat new." "Charged me an absorbent price for it, too." "The dustbin's the best place for that." "I reckon you're right." " Dad?" "Oh, in there, Olive, love." "What about her?" " Leave her to sleep it off." "If she's not right by morning, call me." "You'll take a mug of tea?" " (James ) Yes." "Thanks." "Ah, thanks, Olive." "Slice of cake, Mr Herriot?" " Mm." "Looks delicious." "Thanks." "You know, troubles always come in cyclones." "That's what I always say." "Take the mastics, Mr Herriot." "No improvement?" " None, I'm sorry to say." "It's a real mystery, Mr Herriot." "And always cows Dad milks." "That's nowt to do with it, lass." "Coincidence, you might say." "But there it is." "I, erm..." "I don't like to tell any man his job... but we've tried your remedies, lad." "Milk's still flaky?" "I can't say it isn't for it wouldn't be the truth." "But I got to thinking last night." "When I was studying at Leeds University under Professor Mallison, I noted down a lot of good cures." "I'd like to try this 'un." "Ooh!" "Oh, bloody old back of mine." "By gow, it gives you stick." " Have you seen a doctor?" "He can't do nowt." "I've had enough pills to make me rattle." "I don't get no relief." "But never mind me." "You read that." "Thank you." "Camphor." "Eucalyptus." "Zinc oxide." "Oh, it's an udder salve." "That's right." "A good old-fashioned remedy." "I thought if maybe we gave the bags a good rub with that it might do the trick." "There's no harm in trying." "None at all." "I'll get some made up for you." "Good lad." "I like an open mind." "But that back of yours." " Yes?" "You've had lumbago since I've known you." "Longer." " I've thought of something." "I think I know what might cure it." "Nay!" "You know how to put me right?" "I think so." "Nothing to do with medicine." "You'll have to stop milking." " Stop milking!" "It's sitting crouched on that low stool night and morning that's doing it." "You're a big chap." "You have to bend to get down there." "You think that could be it?" " Yes, I do." "It's worth a try, anyway." "Couldn't Olive do the milking?" "All of it?" " There's only ten cows, Dad." "Course I can!" "I like milking." "You know I do." "And it's time you gave it a rest." "Dang it, young man, I believe you're right." "I'll pack it in now." "There's not many I takes to these days." "But Mr Herriot's a grand lad." "I think so." " But you've only got one room above." "Until we can afford a place of our own, yes." "That'll be a while coming, maybe." "I expect so." "Meanwhile, I'm just another mouth to feed." "Aye." "I was thinking something of the sort myself." "Your mother was a grand cook, God rest her." "Yes, she was." "And you've been cooking for your dad." "I've not heard him complain." " Mother taught me pretty well." "Doesn't happen if you haven't got the gift." "It's my opinion that every woman should want to cook for her man." "I know what you're going to say, Mrs Hall." "It's very kind of you but this is your kitchen." "It wouldn't do for me to come in." "Well, now, it would..." "and it wouldn't." "It is my kitchen and it isn't." "You might say it was Mr Farnon's kitchen, too." "I had a thought in mind." "I'm getting no younger, lass." "That goes for all of us." "There are some better placed than others." "Me sister's poorly." "I'd like the extra day." "You'd be doing me a real favour and you'd be keeping your hand in." "Oh, Mrs Hall, you're a real dear." "Aye, well, let's get that table laid." "There you are." "What was it?" " Patent worm medicine." "Oh!" "Ah... now, about tomorrow." "Tomorrow?" "Friday the 13th." "Oh, your great day at Broughton Races." "I'd like you to come with me." " Me?" "Whatever for?" "The pleasure of your company." "Besides, I think you bring me luck." "You don't need that kind of luck." "This will be a cakewalk." "Yes, but still." "It is Friday the 13th." "I thought you weren't superstitious." "I'm not but there's no earthly point in taking avoidable risks." "Sensible, I agree." "So am I a sort of lucky mascot?" "Yes, that's a fair description." "It's nice of you but I can't come." "Why on earth not?" " This is high-powered stuff." "I am not invited." " Nonsense!" "The invitation says "Mr Siegfried Farnon and friend"." "That's even better." "I thought it said partner." "Yes." "They obviously expect you to trot along with some pedigree filly straight out of Burke's Peerage." "That'd be a fatal error of judgement." "Why?" "General Ransom's and Colonel Tremayne's wives." "They're both past their prime." "The sort of competition you suggest would be unwelcome." "If I start off by putting their noses out of joint, my chances would be nil." "I see what you mean." " So I should hope." "My mind's made up." "I choose you, James." "There's an end of it." "There's no need to look so fed up." "I'm not a bit!" " Yes, you are." "Don't pretend." "You are the most extraordinary fellow." "Honestly, Siegfried, I've..." " It's not an extra duty!" "It's a tremendous favour!" "A day at the races?" "Lashings of free grub and booze?" "You should be thrilled." "But I am!" "Really I am!" "You are?" " Hm!" "Well, that's all right, then." "I've won!" "I've won!" "Oh, Mr Farnon, you're so clever." "I didn't know you were a betting man." "I'm not really." "The occasional flutter." "I do enjoy studying form out of interest." "Sensible fellow." "And if you followed the form?" "I'd not be the bookie's best friend." "(All laugh)" "Mr Farnon, would you mark my card for the next race?" "With great pleasure, Mrs Tremayne." "Do you know, I really rather fancy Calypso." "Third last week." "Would you forgive us, sir?" "When the game is against her, this is the going she likes." "The weight's right, too." "Quite nice odds, I fancy." "I'd risk a bob or two." "Oh, but that's too, too exciting!" " She's nice, isn't she?" "(Irish accent) Holy mother!" "It's the boy himself!" "Stewie!" "Stewie Brannon!" "What the devil are you doing here?" "Well, I'm having a day at the races, like a few others I could mention!" "Let me introduce..." " Saints preserve us." "It's been quite a few years." " It certainly has!" "Let me introduce Stewart Brannon, another colleague." "General and Mrs Ransom, Colonel and Mrs Tremayne, my assistant, James Herriot." "Stewart and I went through veterinary college together." "It's a pleasure, ladies and gentlemen." "I wonder if you could spare him." "I'm after buying him a drink for old times' sake." "Yes, of course." "If we're not here, we'll be at the car." "That's very good of you, sir." "Come on, Stewie." "Well... it takes all sorts." "It certainly does." "Well, what do you think of him, my dear?" "No, no." "I mean Farnon." "Oh, quite entrancing, Hugh." "And I mean, it's so rare really, isn't it?" "What is?" "One simply doesn't expect a vet to be a gentleman." "Hm." "Sit down, Stewie." "What the hell was all that about?" "All that frantic Irish." "I was really caught out there." "It was your grand friends." "The moment I started I had to go on." "I couldn't stop!" "Now, listen." "Tell me what the hell you've been up to these last... eight years, isn't it?" "Eight years!" "Well, let's see." "I got into finals after you left." "I pipped them both at the first go." "Thank you, James." "Here's to your very good health, Stewie." "Then I had a bit of bother with surgery." "Cheers." "Cheers." "Cheers." "You know," "I was finally launched on the unsuspecting animal population and I've been around quite a bit ever since, trying to find a place with a living wage." "This three quid a week lark is no cop when you've a family." "Family?" "Are you married?" "Do you remember Meg Hamilton?" "Meg..." " Meg Hamilton." "We got married when I..." "Meg Hamilton!" "Yes, of course I do." "When I got into the final year." "We've five kids now and another on the way!" "Five!" "Stewart, for God's sake!" "Oh, it's wonderful." "Really." "How do you manage to exist?" "I couldn't tell you." "I don't know myself." "I just keep one jump ahead of ruin." "And... we're happy." "No!" "No!" " James, be a good chap." "No, it..." "No, would you mind getting..." " James." "The same again, if you don't mind." "And anyway..." "You seem to have lost a lot of money, m'dear." "Well, where is that Mr Farnon?" "He promised to mark my card." "He's so good on form." "He won't spend more time than necessary with that person." "I'm not so sure." "Old comrades, you know." "I remember when I met..." " We've no time for that now." "Go off and see if you can find him, will you?" "Yes, sir." "(Slurring) And I stuck up my plate in Hensfield." "Hensfield!" " A few months ago." "I know, I know." "But as long as it... pays the housekeeping then..." "Now that's mainly small animals, isn't it?" "I make my daily bread almost entirely by separating the local tom cats... from their knackers!" "I bet you're good at it." "I'm sure you're very good at it!" "The female felines of Hensfield can walk the streets unmolested thanks to me!" "My dear." "I wonder if you'd be kind enough to bring us three very large whiskies." "And then do you think you could keep on repeating the order every time our glasses are empty?" "Oh, you old bugger, Farnon." "You haven't changed a bit." "Really?" "Oh, that's rather nice." "And the funny thing is" "I don't think you even really try." "Try to what?" "What are you talking about?" "Oh, nothing." "What have you been up to?" "Meg Hamilton!" "Yes, I'm looking forward to meeting her again so very much." "I've tried everywhere, sir." "The only place I haven't tried is the Half Crown marquee." "Don't be ridiculous." "(Drunken giggling and conversation )" "(Slurring) I'm terribly sorry to have kept you waiting." "Something rather wonderful happened back there." "Can I present Stewie Brannon who was an old colleague..." "All right, we've been through all that." "We've been waiting and we want to get home." "Certainly, certainly." "We leave at once." "Stewie, I'll telephone you." "I'll..." "I'll..." "Stewie..." "Stewie, old boy." "Find my car keys, will you, old chap?" "No, no, no, no, no." "No, no, no." "I dropped them... somewhere on the course." "Sorry, sir." "I can't see them." "Oh, come on, man." "Come on." "Did you drop them there?" " No." "This is disappointing." "Well... they're definitely not on the course." "Great heavens, Farnon, have you got the keys or haven't you?" "Go make other arrangements." " Yes, sir." "Did you drop them here?" "I..." "I..." "I don't know... where I dropped them." "But it was somewhere on the course." "Damned disappointing." "They're definitely not on the course." "(Car starts )" "Stewie, well done." "You've saved the situation." "Come on, get in." "I'll drive the blasted thing." "Just one moment!" "The windscreen's very dirty." "Can't allow you to drive in that condition." "No more flakes, Mr Pickersgill?" " Not a sign, Mr Herriot." "The moment we started using that salve they began dispersing." "Milk's as clear as can be." " I'm delighted." "And how's the lumbago?" " That's why I dropped by." "You capped it, lad, and no mistake." "I've never milked since that day." "I've hardly had a twinge these last three weeks." "I'm truly grateful." " There's no need to be." "It was just a lucky guess." "Hello!" "How's the world treating you?" "Never better, Mr Farnon." "I just dropped by to tell Mr Herriot he's cured my lumbago and I've cured them mastics." "We went back to Professor Mallison for that, didn't we?" "That's right!" " Well, I'll be getting along." "(James ) Bye, Mr Pickersgill." "Nice to see you, gentlemen." " Always a pleasure to see you." "Goodbye." " Bye, Mr Farnon." "(Humming)" "I see they've appointed Herbert Jarvis to that job on the northwest circuit." "Oh?" " Yes." "Nice chap." "Just the man for the job." "Wouldn't have done, James." "What wouldn't?" " Me getting the job." "I thought you wanted it." "It was a compliment being considered." "Things always work out for the best." "Stewie was sent by providence." "If I'd landed it..." "I'd have been miserable as hell." "Ah." "Well, what have you lined up for the rest of the day?" "Not a lot." "Over to the stables at Hardacre's." "Oh, really?" "You're fast becoming the horse expert here." "Not really." "One of his racers damaged his knee." "I stitched him up so I've got to go back and remove the dressings, see if he's OK." "Perhaps you'd like to have a look at him for me." "Of course I would but I told Dick Henley I'd help him with a rig operation." "I'm sure you'll do perfectly splendidly." "Right." "Easy, old fellow." "Easy." "Will he be all right, sir?" " He should be." "There was no damage to the joint capsule or tendon sheaths." "Thank God for that." " Almost done, old boy." "This should see you right." "Whoa." "You've made a proper job of that, sir." "It looks as good as new." "I want to thank you, sir." "That's all right." " No, I mean it." "He's one of my favourites." "Not just because he's a good horse... but he's kind." "He's gonna be all right." "Look, I've been thinking." "Do you back horses?" "Hardly ever." "Don't know much about it." "Well, never mind." "But I'll give you one to back this afternoon." "Kemal in the first race." "He's one of ours and he's going to win." "You'll get a nice price." "Ten to one, at least." "Thanks very much." "I'll have half a crown on him." "Half a... half a crown?" "!" "Not likely." "You put a fiver on his nose." "By Jove, so I will." "(James ) Mrs Hall!" "Mrs Hall!" "Oh, there you are." "Anyone at home?" "Mr Farnon's not back yet and I don't know where Mr Tristan is." "Can you fix me an early lunch, please?" "Of course." " I mustn't miss the first race." "Having a bit of a flutter?" " More than a flutter." "This is a certainty." " I've heard that before." "How does that bit go? "There is a tide in the affairs of men" ""which, if taken at the flood..."" "Well, I'm taking it." " I'm not stopping you." "Fine." "I'll scoot down to the bank, nip home for grub then hey-ho for Broughton Races." "I can see Stromboli!" "Are you all right, Mr Herriot?" " Never better, Mrs Hall." "(Phone rings )" " Shall I say you're out?" "No thanks, Mrs Hall." "Hello." "Yes?" "Yes, speaking." "Oh!" "It's Mr Sidlow!" "Yes." "Yes, of course." "That's all right." "I'll be right over." "You can forget about lunch." " But you ought to eat." "I wish I could." "If I step on it I might make the bank and get the job done in time." "It's these bouts of diarrhoea." "They come and go." "She gets thinner all the time." "How long have you been treating her?" "A few months." "I started her on ground eggshell in t'gruel." "It didn't work." "I tried stronger remedies." "This last week I've had her on blue vitriol and dandelion tea." "I see." "Well..." "I'm fairly sure she's got Johne's disease." "What's that?" "Oh, you call it "Jones" disease." "If I'm right, it's incurable." "Still, I'll make quite certain." "I'll take a sample of faeces." "Well, I'd better take her temperature while I'm here." "My God!" "She swallowed it!" "Swallowed what?" " My thermometer!" "It's gone right up!" "Damn and blast!" "It's disappeared!" "I'll not have foul language in front of my children!" "Let's have some action instead." "Don't just stand there gawping." "A bucket of hot water, soap and a towel, please!" "Do as he says!" "Look sharp or I'll...." "I'll let you know as soon as I have the results." "I'm terribly sorry." "I wonder, erm..." "if you'll give me a push." "Give him a shove." "(James ) Tris." "Tris!" "In here." " Thank God." "Has something happened?" " I must have your bookmaker." "Whatever for?" " The first race at Broughton." "You're too late." " It's not over, is it?" "It hasn't been run, has it?" " Five minutes ago." "I dropped five bob on Shandygaff." "How do you know?" "You're just sitting there." "Telephone." "It's a wonderful invention." "What won?" "Some confounded animal called..." "Kemal." "Romped home at 12 to one." "It was rotten luck, darling." " It was worse than that." "It was the curse of the Sidlows." "Just to think... if I'd got to Broughton five minutes earlier." "But you didn't!" "It's no good brooding about it." "No, I suppose not." "But it did seem like a perfect idea." "I'm not sure those cruises are all they're cracked up to be." "Some friends went on one." "They wrote it off as a dead loss." "Why?" " The company, I suppose." "They were cooped up with noisy, nosy, unattractive people." "You just can't escape." "Well, that's what they told me afterwards." "Perhaps it wasn't a perfect idea after all." "Neither's this." "It's our third." "(James chuckling)" "Listen, I'm not saying it would have been like that with us." "All I am saying is I don't mind what we do or where we go for our honeymoon, just as long as it's the two of us together." "That's all that matters to me." " Roll on the day." "I still can't believe it's happening." "Neither can I. Helen, you really ought to keep the beast at bay." "I don't especially want to." " The luck of some people." "Has Mrs Hall been sacked?" " No." "I'm standing in for her." "She's visiting her sister, so it's pot luck tonight." "Suits me." "Good Lord!" "Pot Luck!" "That's a horse in the 3:30 tomorrow!" "You're going to take the plunge." "Put your..." "Oh, all right." "Point taken." "One for you, James." " Thank you." "Probably another toast rack." "Oh, well." "I don't like the look of this." "What is it?" "It is tuberculin testing, that's what." "Great Scott." "They want us to start this lot, all round Ellithorpe, next week." ""Urgent." "Without fail." That's when you're getting married." "Yes, afraid it is." " That's wonderful." "The practice going mad, a week's testing at the back of beyond and your wedding in the middle of it." "You'll be drifting gaily off on your honeymoon and I'll be charging around here." "I had no idea things would spring up." "That's your trouble." "You don't look ahead, just belt on, to hell with the consequences." "Now just a minute!" " Which simply defeats me." "What's the hurry?" "You're just a boy." "You've all the time in the world to get married." "And that's another thing." "You hardly know the girl." "Oh, hell, Siegfried!" " Let me finish." "Your precipitative marital arrangements are going to cause me a considerable headache." "Despite that I wish you well." "I sincerely hope everything turns out for the best." "But I must remind you of the old saying - marry in haste, repent at leisure." "Damn it all!" "It was your idea!" "I was all for leaving it..." "Now, now, James." "Don't get excited." "Calm yourself." "You're very young." "It's my duty to speak my mind." "You haven't done anything wrong." "Simply the improvidence of youth." "Thanks." "Now, you listen to me." "We've got no real honeymoon plans." "Ellithorpe's fine." "It's beautiful." "We'll stay at the Wheatsheaf and I'll do the testing." "Testing?" "On your honeymoon?" "You must be out of your mind." "I am not out of my mind." " Well, what would Helen say?" "She'll be delighted." "She can help me do the testing." "You're making me feel guilty." "Good." " I won't hear of it." "I'll start the testing at the Allens' farm on Monday, do the smaller farms on Tuesday, get married on Wednesday, do the injections and readings on Thursday and Friday." "We can knock hell out of that list by the end of the week." "What is it?" "It's an alarm clock from Aunt Lucy." "Useful." " Very." "(Bells chime )" "(James ) 'With this ring I thee wed, 'with my body I thee worship 'and with all my worldly goods I thee endow." "'In the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Ghost." "'Amen.' - (Bells peal)" "Bye!" "Thanks, Tris!" "Bye-bye!" " (Siegfried) Bring him back!" "(Helen ) I will bring him back!" " Bye!" "Bye!" "Bye-bye!" " Bye-bye!" "(James ) Oh, I'm glad that's over." "(James ) That's funny." "Siegfried forgot our wedding presents." "Oh, never mind." " All right." "You knew, didn't you?" "Yes."