"ANNOUNCER:" "Andnow, Animator's Alley." "Your hosts:" "The Warner brothers." "Today, our guest is Cappy "Cap" Barnhouse, a pioneer in animation." "Welcome, Cappy." "It's a pleasure to join ya." "Why?" "Were we coming apart?" "Say that again?" "Never mind." "Cappy, you were with the Warner Bros. studio from the very beginning, right?" "Yeah, I started with Warners back when all we made were pies." "We just started making cartoons when people weren't buying the pies." "CAPPY:" "Now, let's see." "Now, that was back in 19..." "Oh, I don't know." "But it was back when we made pies." "Oh." "One day, the head guy, his name was Leon something-or-other, he says to me, he says," ""Cappy, today I don't want you to make a pie." "I want you to make a cartoon."" "[SNORING] [YAWNING]" "CAPPY:" "Well, Rudy Ising and Hugh Harman and Friz and me and some other guy with a lisp was brought onboard." "[WARNERS SNORING]" "And then we made our first cartoon, which was, uh..." "Uh, Bosko and Honey." "Oh, we made a few of those and..." "[MUMBLES]" "[SNORES]" "[ALL SNORING]" "Pies!" "We made pies." "Uh, the cartoons came later." "And speaking of cartoons, let's get this show on the road." "[***]" "ALL:" "* It's time for Animaniacs *" "* And we're zany to the max *" "* So just sit back and relax *" "* You'll laugh Till you collapse *" "* We're Animaniacs *" "BOTH:" "* Come join The Warner brothers *" "* And the Warner sister, Dot *" "ALL:" "* Just for fun we run around The Warner movie lot *" "* They lock us in the tower Whenever we get caught *" "* But we break loose And then vamoose *" "* And now you know the plot *" "* We're Animaniacs *" "* Dot is cute and Yakko yaks *" "* Wakko packs away the snacks *" "* While Bill Clinton Plays the sax *" "* We're Animaniacs *" "* Meet Pinky and the Brain *" "* Who want to rule The universe *" "* Goodfeathers flock together *" "* Slappy whacks 'em With her purse *" "* Buttons chases Mindy *" "* While Rita sings a verse *" "* The writers flipped We have no script *" "* Why bother to rehearse?" "*" "* We're Animaniacs *" "* We have pay-or-play Contracts *" "* We're zany to the max *" "* There's bologna In our slacks *" "* We're Animan-y *" "* Totally insane-y *" "* How urbane-y *" "* Animaniacs *" "* Those are the facts *" "ANNOUNCER:" "We now return to Animator's Alley." "So, uh, then, in '43 we made Winky, the Finicky Tapeworm." "He lived inside a British buffalo, Sir Poopsalot." "CAPPY:" "Then we made a bunch of fish cartoons." "Fish are funny creatures." "[GASPS]" "We did Timmy Tuna," "Shh!" "Barney Bass, and Frieda the Overly Friendly Fluke." "But the fish lip is the hardest to draw." "[WHISPERS] I've seen people scream when they see a poorly-drawn fish lip." "[WHISPERS] They think it's a monster." "But it's just a fish lip." "Lips are important." "You can't talk without lips." "Well, you could, but you'd sound like:" "[BABBLES]" "[***]" "* The jungle was nice *" "*But way behind the times*" "* For two endangered hippos With hip and trendy minds *" "* So they flew Their Ranch Roover *" "* To the city's neon glow *" "* Flavio and Marita The hip hippos *" "[***]" "WOMAN:" "Zoologist's log, day 92," "Gina Embryo speaking." "The great endangered Hippopotamus trendolius remains free from danger thanks to my diligent efforts." "[GIBBERS]" "[YAWNS]" "I, my beautiful self, could play this course blindfolded." "Well, why not?" "I must stay undercover so as not to disturb these gentle creatures in their unnatural habitat no matter what the risk." "Fore." "Oh, hole in one again." "Yawn and sigh." "[SCREAMS]" "[SCREAMING]" "Nothing ever happens around here." "I'm permanently puckered." "[GRUNTS]" "[BREATHING HEAVILY]" "What's this?" "The female seems depressed." "This bestseller is boring." "Boring." "Boring, boring, boring." "Marita." "Flavio." "BOTH:" "I'm so bored!" "Are we in a rut?" "Is this all there is?" "Rooftop golf?" "Ranch Rover racing?" "I have an idea." "Flavio, look." ""Thrill-Seeking Adventures for the Rich."" "Mm, sounds delicious, my small, crumbly crumb from a no-yeast cake." "Let's have a thrill-seeking adventure." "Here's one." "They give it a Danger Rating of 2." "What is it?" "Bungee jumping." "[GROANS]" "Darling, am I all bungee- attached or bungeed-up or whatever beautiful bungee-people call it?" "Yes, my flyboy." "Must save my thick-skinned babies." "They could hurt themselves." "Let's fly." "May thrills await us." "I must protect the hippos." "[SCREAMS]" "[WHINNIES]" "[GASPS]" "[YAWNS]" "[SCREAMS]" "[GASPS]" "[GRUNTS]" "MARITA:" "Well, that was boring." "I think we need more danger." "What else is in that catalog?" "Here's a good one." "Danger Rating 7." ""Running before the bulls in Spain."" "Let's do it.Olé.Zorro. Barcelona." "[***]" "Must save hippos." "Now, they blow the whistle, the bulls come down the street, and we run." "That's the danger part." "Run?" "No, Flavio, I do not run." "Very well, my well-worn, little, leather driving glove." "We shall stroll." "Zoologist's log, day 95, Gina Embryo speaking." "Unless I create some sort of diversion, my hippos will be trampled by wild bulls." "[WHISTLES]" "[ROARING, GRUNTING]" "Olé" "[INDISTINCT SHOUTING]" "[SCREAMS]" "Did you just feel something?" "Rain?" "[SNORTING]" "[WHISTLE]" "Huh?" "[WHISTLES]" "Yoo-hoo!" "Over here!" "[SCREAMS]" "Oh!" "Oh!" "Oh!" "Oh." "[LOWING]" "[SCREAMS]" "[GROWLING, SNORTING]" "No!" "Klaatu barada nikto." "Need...new...career." "I thought this was supposed to be dangerous." "[SCOFFS] Everything Hemingway did is overrated." "I guess we need to aim higher, mon chouchou." "Here's a good one." "Danger Rating 11." "Ooh." "Scuba dive with the great white sharks." "Look, pumpkin seed, the sea beast approaches." "Let us greet the local barbarian." "[GROWLS]" "Zoologist's log, day 97." "My poor, defenseless babies face the ultimate predator." "I must save them." "BOTH:" "One, dos,trois." "Boring." "Overrated." "[SCREAMS]" "[COUGHS, GASPS]" "[SIGHS]" "My hippos still safe." "[GROWLS]" "Flav?" "Yes, my special little molasses brownie?" "I've learned something." "The most thrilling thing around..." "Is our own beautiful selves." "BOTH:" "I'm so happy." "ANNOUNCER:" "We now return to Animator's Alley." "In 1954, I got a bunion." "CAPPY:" "So I figures, what if a bunion could talk?" "That's when I come up with Bun Ion Boy." "Bun Ion Boy lived on a farmer's toe." "Uh, I think that was a mistake." "Farmers step in things that aren't decent." "Then in '57, I made Kiki the Sickly Lemur." "CAPPY:" "Would you like me to talk about it?" "Well, all right." "Kiki had no torso." "ALL:" "We're free!" "Free!" "Free!" "[***]" "Well, so long, Mother." "So long, Father." "Oh, my little woodchuck going to Hollywood." "Are you sure you wanna do this, Baynarts?" "Dad, I told you, it's not Baynarts." "It's Charlton." "Charlton Woodchucks." "And yes, Father, I must do this." "For acting is my destiny." "Mourn not, my simple parents." "Mourn not." "For, you see" "Ooh!" "You really know how to wreck a dramatic moment." "How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if--?" "[SNORING] No, that's wrong." "How about:" "How...much wood... could a woodchuck...chuck?" "[GRUNTS]" "Would you be quiet?" "Excuse me, but I'm rehearsing." "I have a very important audition tomorrow for the role of Franklin the Friendly Woodchuck." "I am an actor." "You?" "An actor?" "Ha!" "That's a good one." "[LAUGHS]" "Would you write your name down?" "Thank you." "When I'm famous, I'll make it a point not to like you." "MR. JENKINS [LAUGHING]:" "Yeah, right." "Whatever." "[***]" "DIRECTOR:" "You three woodchucks, step forward." "Look at them." "All day long, the same thing." "I want a woodchuck that's real." "Real emotions." "These acting woodchucks make me sick." "All right, number one." "Go ahead." "To be or not to be..." "DIRECTOR:" "Next!" "* One singular sensa-- *" "DIRECTOR:" "Next!" "[GASPS]" "[NERVOUSLY] How mu--?" "Much--?" "Much wood...?" "That's it!" "Such reality." "That's my woodchuck!" "[MOANS]" "[***]" "All right, Charlton, now, remember." "You just do whatever the narrator says." "Ya got that?" "Oh, yes." "Uh-huh." "Super, super." "Very good." "All right, people." "Let's do it!" "MAN:" "Franklin the Friendly Woodchuck." "Take one." "Ooh!" "Ouch!" "That hurt!" "So sue me." "Would you write your name down?" "Thank you." "When I'm famous, I'll make it a point not to like you." "[MUTTERS INDISTINCTLY]" "And cue narrator." "Well, Franklin the Friendly Woodchuck was a-rompin' through the forest." "Now, woodchucks love to romp, and Franklin was no exception." "Then Franklin saw somethin' he'd never seen." "A big, fuzzy grizzly bear." "Franklin decided to play with Mr. Bear." "[SNORING]" "Yeah." "Yeah, yeah." "But old Mr. Bear wouldn't play." "Now, even the dumbest coonhound knows that bears and woodchucks are natural enemies." "Ooh!" "[LAUGHING] Well, looks like Franklin's learned a valuable lesson." "Why, lookie here." "It's Mr. Woodpecker." ""Maybe he'll be my friend," thought Franklin." "But Mr. Woodpecker was a mite angry 'cause Franklin had ruined his tree." "[CHUCKLING] Poor Franklin." ""Won't anyone be my friend?" he thought." "Well, just then, Mr. Boa Constrictor came a-wigglin' by." ""Maybe he'll be my friend."" "Could we stop a minute?" "Now, Franklin knew he wouldn't get eaten 'cause boas don't like the taste of woodchucks." "[SIGHS]" "But still, they try." "Pwech!" "Uh-oh, there's that bear again." "[HOLLOW TAPPING]" "Lookie here." "Cute, little, busy, buzzy bees." ""Maybe they'll be my friend," Franklin thought." "[GRUNTS]" "But those old, buzzy bees didn't want to play." "Yeow!" "Now, it's a well-known fact that woodchucks are highly allergic to bee stings." "Well, bee sting or not," "Franklin decided to make the most of it and get to romping' again." "Oh!" "Uh-oh, there's that bear again." "Oh!" "Well, what's this?" "An old ammunitions shack in the middle of the forest." ""I wonder what's in there," Franklin thought." "I really need to stop a minute." "Can we stop?" "Oh, please?" "Oh, please?" "Now, a dangerous ammunitions shack is no place for a woodchuck." "But Franklin went in anyway." "Careful, Franklin." "Uh-oh, there's that bear again." "[SNARLS]" "Hold it right there." "[GROWLS]" "Would you write your name down?" "Thank you." "When I'm famous, I'll..." "That's it." "I quit." "[***]" "Baynarts!" "I thought you's a big movie star in Hollywood." "Well, we had creative differences." "Uh, what you got there?" "Just some names." "YAKKO:" "Night, Wakko." "WAKKO:" "Good night, Dot." "DOT:" "Good night, Yakko." "YAKKO:" "Hey, I wonder what happened to Cappy." "[SNORING]" "Pies!" "We made pies." "[SNORING]" "[***]" "ALL:" "Sit, Ubu, sit."