"(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)" "MAN: (SINGING) Tell me, Doctor, where are we going this time?" "Is this the '50s?" "Or 1999?" "All I wanted to do" "Was play my guitar and sing" "So take me away I don't mind" "But you better promise me I'll be back in time" "Gotta get back in time" "I'll be back in time" "Gotta get back in time" "AUTOMATED VOICE:" "Activating broadcast." "Begin, Doctor Brown." "Doctor Emmett Brown here." "I am presently in the process of collating archival deposits from my past endeavors." "In other words, I'm cleaning out the closet." "My lovely wife Clara has been persuading me to organize all of the junk I've collected over the years." "Huh!" "This was my entry into the 1932" "Hill Valley junior science fair." "Huh, a videotape recorder with full 14-day programming capability." "It worked perfectly." "Too bad there weren't any TV sets around." "This." "Oops." "A few years back I had a little cash-flow problem and was forced to sell some of my inventions on the" "Hill Valley Home Shopping Channel." "Might as well take a look." "After years of tinkering and fine tuning, it's finally perfected." "The deep-thinking, mind-reading helmet!" "The ultimate thinking cap." "A penny for my thoughts." "ANNOUNCER:" "Doc Brown's mind-reading helmet only $19.95, plus $2 shipping and handling." "So you don't forget, call before midnight tonight." "1-800..." "That's enough of that!" "Hey!" "What's this?" "Why, this wasn't mine at all." "This belonged to Clara's father, Daniel Clayton." "Now, there was a great man!" "I first met him years ago, back in 1850." "That was before I met Clara." "Come to think of it, that was five years before Clara was even born!" "It all started with my son, Vernie..." "VERNE:" "Ah, go ahead, vaporize me, ya dumb three-headed alien geeks!" "JULES:" "Brother Verne, do my auditory organs deceive me?" "You're actually conceding at Intergalactic Space Feud?" "Who cares?" "It's only a dumb video game." "Sibling, are you ill?" "Naw, just bummed out." "(SCREAMING)" "(SCREAMING)" "DOC:" "The head bone's connected to the neck bone, the neck bone's connected to the shoulder bone, the shoulder bone's connected to the... (JULES AND VERNE SCREAMING)" "(CRASHING) ...hip bone." "No, that can't be correct." "Hello, Father." "Post-meridian greetings, offspring." "I trust school went well." "I discovered two new elements in chemistry class." "Well, everyone's entitled to a slow day now and then." "How about you, Verne?" "It was horrible." "Very good, then." "(PLAYING GUITAR IN HEADPHONES AND VOCALIZING)" "Ah, thank you, thank you, ladies and..." "Woah!" "Ow, watch it, Verne!" "Hey!" "Who do you think I am, Axl Rose?" "VERNE:" "Sorry, Marty." "Hey, what's the matter, big guy?" "Aw, stinkin' ol' Roland Culver was actin' like a big shot in show-and-tell today, because his stinkin' ol' granddad climbed some stinkin' ol' mountain or something." "I bet your grandfathers did important stuff, too." "Like what?" "Doesn't Clara tell a story about how her mom and dad met on the Oregon Trail?" "Oh, yeah." "She's told me a million times." "(IMITATING CLARA'S VOICE) It was love at first sight." "The rough-and-tumble pioneer and that timid little greenhorn from back east." "They were married the same day they met, and their wedding announcement was burned into this piece of buckboard from their wagon." "Whoa." "That was great." "Yeah, sometimes I call in and excuse myself from school." "So why don't you tell stinkin' ol' Roland Culver about Daniel Clayton, the rough-and-tumble pioneer who rode The Oregon Trail?" "Cool!" "But I'll need some evidence." "I got it!" "I'll go back and see grandpa in person!" "A silly notion indeed, brother." "Oh, yeah?" "Who asked you, mister big brains?" "Verne, you can get in a lot of trouble going back in time to meet your relatives." "I should know." "Aw, don't get your shorts in a wad!" "I'm just gonna take his stinkin' picture." "Despite the photograph, not even Roland Culver would believe that your grandfather lived 150 years ago." "I dunno." "Roland's pretty bad at arithmetic." "There!" "I'm heading to the 19th century!" "Who's with me?" "I repeat, Verne, this is a fool's errand." "Does that mean you're comin'?" "JULES:" "Voila, brother Verne." "1850 Wyoming." "Are you sure this is the right place?" "Have faith, fraternal unit." "A microscopic analysis of the dirt particles embedded in the buckboard, cross-referenced to my soil sample collection, tells me that our destination is approximately this point along the famous Oregon Trail." "Hey, I still got the same hat!" "What a gyp!" "It's a good thing Doc customized the DeLorean for the Hill Valley Pioneer Days Parade." "(RUMBLING) Hey, what's that rumbling?" "Ah!" "That must be our grandparents' wagon train approaching over the horizon." "Yes, my analysis of the seismic vibrations tell me that we should expect 20..." "No, make that 21 wagons." "Jules, that's a lot of bull-oney!" "Eh, eh, correction, Verne, it's a lot of buffalo!" "VERNE:" "Tatanka!" "(SCREAMING)" "(SCREAMING)" "It's a stinkin' stampede!" "Safe!" "MARTY:" "I hope you're right!" "I've been shot!" "I doubt if any of those buffalo are carrying rifles." "(GUNSHOT)" "Oh, yeah?" "(GUNSHOTS)" "MARTY:" "Hey, check it out." "We've got company." "Could it be?" "Grandpa?" "Hiya, grand..." "Mother?" "Grandmother?" "What's yer problem, boy?" "A buffalo kick you in the head?" "Hello, handsome." "Ain't you purdy." "Uh, thanks." "Thanks a lot." "Where have you been all my life?" "Uh, in the future?" "BOTH:" "Uh-oh." "MAN:" "Yo!" "Howdy strangers!" "Greetings." "Hi." "MAN 1:" "Hello there." "MAN 2:" "Bonjour." "WOMAN:" "Buenos días." "MAN 3:" "Aloha." "Whoa!" "Dadgumit, Clayton!" "Will you pay attention?" "Whoa!" "Oops." "Sorry." "Clayton?" "That's Grandpa?" "I hope Roland Culver never hears about this." "Mighty fancy wagon ya got there, pilgrim, but looks like you're shy a mule or two." "VERNE:" "Jules, why can't we go home?" "I don't wanna take Grandpa's picture now." "He's a first-class wimp!" "As I explained, Verne, we cannot return home until I have repaired the bovine damage done to the DeLorean." "Not to mention the damage we've done to history." "Oh, yeah?" "Like what?" "Like causing our grandmother to fall in love with Martin rather than our grandfather." "Please, Martha, take my word for it." "We can't get hitched." "Marty, I ain't turning' you loose until you promise to walk down the aisle with me." "If you don't untie my ankles soon," "I won't be able to walk anywhere." "All right, but don't you try nothing!" "It is now up to us to make sure that our grandmother and grandfather fall in love at first sight." "Come back, ya little varmint!" "Yeah, but she only has eyes for Marty." "Augh!" "Hey, why are you hiding from the beautiful Miss O'Brien?" "Meow!" "Since she's joined the wagon train, I can hardly keep my mind on my insects." "Oh, man." "She's really got you bugged!" "CLAYTON:" "Hey, but she doesn't know I'm alive." "MARTY:" "Danny boy, when Martha sees you, it'll be love at first sight." "MAN:" "Yee-haw!" "Move it on there, little doggies." "Let's pick it up, stragglers." "Remember, no fishing' now!" "(HOWLING)" "(SCREAMING)" "(SCREAMING) (HOWLING)" "Will this really make the lovely Miss O'Brien notice me?" "Yeah, she'll say, "Who's the stinkin' geek?"" "Now, yer sure this'll make Marty see me for the dainty, ladylike little lovebird that I am?" "(WHISTLING)" "Don't expect miracles, dearie." "Listen and listen tight." "It's chow time." "(MAN BELCHES)" "(GASPING)" "What are y'all staring' at?" "I got somethin' in my teeth?" "Well, howdy, smelly ol' stranger." "Watch it." "Nobody calls me old." "No, sir." "You're young..." "But smelly." "Hmm, that's better." "Got any vittles?" "Sure." "What do you want to hear?" "I'm talkin' about grub, bub!" "Well, tumblin' tumbleweeds!" "A prairie angel if ever I seen one!" "All right, Danny boy." "You're up." "Hey, uh..." "And he's down." "Aren't you a sight." "Aren't you a smell." "Thank ya." "How's about you joining' me fer dinner?" "How's about you stuff your head in a prairie dog hole?" "Say, that ain't very friendly!" "I..." "Say, keep a close eye on these here valuables, Close Eye." "I don't trust that smelly ol' stranger." "He don't trust me, huh?" "Not to mention the fact he done called me old once again." "Hello, Martin." "Uh, hi." "Uh, gee, I'd love to stay and chat, but I gotta go milk the buffalo." "Oh!" "I thought you rode side saddle!" "You..." "You buzzard!" "Hold on there, little lady." "I wouldn't want you gettin' these nice folks all het up over nuthin.' (CHUCKLING)" "Maybe I'd better just take you along fer the ride." "Grandma!" "Bring back my grammy, you stinkin' ol' smelly stranger!" "(SINGING)" "Not since..." "Clara!" "What has transpired?" "Somebody's gone and sanded Ma and Pa's wedding announcement clean off this buckboard, that's what." "When I find out who did it, they're in big trouble." "Do I make myself clear?" "Galloping Galileo!" "Your parent's wedding announcement, what was the precise inscription?" "I know it by heart." ""Martha O'Brien and Daniel Clayton," ""joint together here as man and wife, March 3rd, 1850."" "I'll handle this, Clara." "Why don't you lie down?" "And don't look in any mirrors!" "Sure, this is a wilderness now, but pilgrims such as us are taming' this new frontier." "Before ya know it, a railroad train will cut a swath right through the very land we set on." "(LAUGHING)" "Uh-huh." "What'd I tell ya?" "Doc!" "Father!" "What is everyone staring at?" "Haven't you seen a steam locomotive before?" "Well, don't these things usually run on tracks?" "Drat!" "I knew there was something I forgot!" "Father!" "How did you find us?" "Well, it wasn't easy!" "Do you know how many wagon trains there are on the Oregon Trail this time of year?" "Since you boys left home, your mother has started to fade." "Clara's sick?" "No, she's disappearing!" "Where's Verne?" "Yeah, where is Verne?" "It was all his idea, Father!" "Hey, pardon me, Martin, but have you seen the lovely Miss O'Brien about?" "Dan Clayton, I presume." "Why, yes." "Do I know you?" "DOC:" "You will." "Hey, that's great, isn't it?" "Yeah." "We was robbed!" "The cash box is gone!" "And so's that smelly old stranger!" "Wild Bill Tannen." "But, hey, he doesn't like to be called old." "BOTH:" "Tannen?" "Bummer!" "It appears I have arrived in the proverbial nick of temporal measurement." "Oh, do you remember sweet Betsy from Pike" "Hmm, hmm, something rhymes with Pike, hmm hmm..." "Hmm, oh, well." "Fifty-three bottles of pop on the wall" "Fifty-three bottles of pop" "Here we be, little lady." "Home sweet home." "It don't look like much now, but once you use yer femi-nine wiles..." "(LAUGHING)" "Why, whoa!" "Listen, you varmint." "The man ain't been born that can kidnap Martha O'Brien and git away with it!" "Let her go, ya stinkin' ol' smelly goon!" "Hi-ya!" "(GASPS)" "Uh-oh." "Thank ya, son." "Now why don't you just step over here and join us." "DOC:" "Which way did they go, Einie?" "(BARKING)" "What'd he say, Doc?" "He said don't ask him." "He's got a cold." "That oughta hold you two." "What's this?" "One of them doohickeys that you peeps into to see the hootchie-kootchie dancer?" "Uh, yeah." "Push the red button and she'll wink at you." "(EXCLAIMS)" "Let's see here..." "Whoa!" "VERNE:" "Aw, look." "The big stinkin' smelly ol' jerk busted my camera." "Things could be worser." "(GROWLING)" "(SCREAMING)" "VERNE:" "I think they is." "I mean, are." "(SCREAMING)" "There goes our shooting' iron." "I reckon I'll have to fight this varmint bare handed." ""Bear-handed." Pretty good." "(CHUCKLES)" "MARTHA:" "Tweren't no joke, son." "JULES:" "Father, observe!" "Down yonder!" "Jumpin' gigawatts!" "It's Vernie!" "Oh..." "There's Grammy Clayton!" "Er, Miss O'Brien." "Zounds!" "I knew this territory appeared familiar!" "We're in the middle of the 2,219,790.71 acres which will eventually become Yellowstone National Park!" "Thanks for the travelogue, Doc, but your mother-in-law is about to become Purina bear chow." "Attention, Vernie!" "Dad?" "Oh, there he is." "Hi, Pop!" "Drop the buffalo hide over that hole behind you, and sit down!" "He's plumb loco if he thinks I'm sittin' down in front of this critter." "DOC:" "Hurry, son!" "Well, he's my daddy, and I'm in enough trouble already." "DOC:" "Someone help me with this wagon cover." "If my calculations are correct, we have mere seconds." "That Buffalo hide should provide adequate insulation." "(RUMBLING)" "Ahhh!" "JULES:" "It's Old Faithful!" "DOC:" "Right on schedule!" "Now, give me a shove!" "Hey, I'm coming along!" "Hey, what a smooth ride!" "Pop!" "I'm a-comin', Vernie boy!" "Hey, I can see my wagon from here." "It's great to see you, Dad!" "VERNE:" "Yeah!" "DOC:" "You've got some explaining to do, young man!" "Well, hello, handsome." "Daniel, Martha, I now pronounce you husband and wife." "Now go ahead and kiss the pretty girl." "Yeah, uh-huh." "Does "together" have two "g's" or one?" "MAN:" "Uh, two!" "Oh, my gracious!" "A brand new species!" "And I'll designate it..." "VERNE:" "The Lepidoptera Martha." "And my grandpa discovered it." "Oh, very impressive, Verne." "Thank you." "Brown, you got a cool grandpa." "Thanks, Roland Culver, but wait'll you hear about my grammy." "AUTOMATED VOICE:" "Photographic systems operational." "Doctor Emmett Brown once again, and boy am I steamed!" "I mean, I'm really about to blow my top!" "Heh, heh..." "Don't worry, I'm not mad." "That's just geyser talk." "What's a geyser, you ask?" "Access video encyclopedia, section G for geyser." "AUTOMATED VOICE:" "Section G. Entry, geysers." "DOC:" "That's a geyser." "The most famous geyser in the world." "Old Faithful in Yellowstone National Park." "The very same geyser that launched Verne and Grammy Clayton to safety." "How do they work?" "Well, geysers are natural hot springs created by geothermal energy." "As you can see here, the inside of the earth is molten rock." "Sometimes this heated rock makes its way up near the earth's surface and water flows through it." "When this happens, we get large amounts of hot water and steam." "To demonstrate, our very own geyser can be created in the lab." "Since we're dealing with a heat source and boiling water, better not try this one at home." "First, we place a funnel upside down in this beaker full of water." "As the water boils in the bottom of the beaker, it forms water vapor bubbles, just like a real geyser." "At this point the hot water expands and literally wants to let off some steam." "This steam looks for the path of least resistance to the surface." "In our case, the tube of the funnel, and... (EXCLAIMING)" "We've got an instant geyser!" "With a little powdered chocolate and a few marshmallows, we've also got a pretty good cup of cocoa." "(SLURPING)" "See you in the future!" "(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)" "Hey, buckaroos." "I got one fer ya." "What has one horn and gives milk?" "You give up?" "A milk truck!" "(LAUGHING)" "(SCREAMING)" "(CHUCKLING)"