"There you go." "Thanks." "Ray Barone." "Desmond Howard." "Hi." "Thanks for the interview." "well." "congratulations on that Super bowl MVP thing." "Thanks." "I saw your article about it." "Thought it was great." "I wish you were my boss." "What?" "He didn't like it?" "Yeah." "How did you hand it in?" "I gave it to him." "That's it?" "When you do a good job£¬ you've got to let them know." "When I do my job well£¬ I let everybody know." "I slow down at the 5-yard line..." "I start doing a little robot£¬ spike the ball." "Everybody's in the crowd£¬ feeling it." "That's showboating." "No£¬ man£¬ that's sharing the moment." "That's letting people know you've got something special." "Now£¬ I'm your boss." "Give me your article." "Mean it this time." "What do you mean?" "I mean£¬ show me what you've got." "I didn't come with much£¬ really." "Ray£¬ show me something." "Maybe you should just hand it in with a smile." "Hi£¬ I'm Ray£¬ and I Iive here in Long island with my wife Debra." "She's great with the kids£¬ the house£¬ everything." "I don't know how she does it." "We've got a daughter ally... and twin two-year-oId boys." "It's not really about the kids." "My parents live across the street." "That's right." "And my brother lives with them." "Now£¬ not every family would go by on a conveyor belt for you... but mine would because" "Everybody loves Raymond." "Yeah." "Miss me?" "I'm not talking to you." "I'm not talking to you£¬ either." "It's just that sometimes I feel like there's not enough time." "Yeah£¬ you're right£¬ as always." "Thank you for being so understanding." "Okay£¬ bye." "Who was that?" "It'sjust that sometimes I feel like there's not enough time." "You're on the radio?" "Your husband's not a mind-reader, Debra." "Husband?" "Tell him what you need." "Need?" "Thank you for being so understanding." "Thank you forjoining me today on It's Your problem." "I'm Dr. Nora Sarasin." "Good night." "And remember, you've got no one to blame but yourself" "Hi£¬ honey." "You're talking about me to some radio shrink?" "She's one of the most respected psychotherapists in the country." "I was lucky to get through." "What did you say to her?" "I called because some other caller... was saying how she didn't feel appreciated." "Some hooker from dallas." "Wait a minute." "So you don't feel appreciated?" "It's just that we don't get to spend a Iot of time together... and Dr. Nora says that can lead to feeling unappreciated." "What the hell is she talking about?" "I appreciate you." "By the way£¬ thanks for everything." "Yeah." "hello?" "Yeah£¬ she's right here." "It's Dr. Nora." "Shut up." "hello?" "Ray£¬ it's Dr. Nora." "Hi there." "You have to do that now?" "Stop that." "Oh£¬ really?" "Wow£¡ That would be terrific." "Oh£¬ my God." "I am so flattered." "When would that be?" "Yeah." "I think that would be fine." "No£¬ listen." "It's great talking to you£¬ 'cause I've been listening to you for years." "And£¬ yes." "Okay£¬ well£¬ thank you so much." "Okay£¬ take care." "Bye." "Stop it." "Do you know what that was?" "A magical illusion." "Dr. Nora is coming here." "She's coming here." "What?" "Get out of here." "Why here?" "She wants to interview me for a book she's doing on the American family." "Why you?" "Because... she says I'm part of a vanishing breed£º the housewife." "I called you that£¬ and you made me sit in the garage." "God£¬ I can't believe she's coming here." "Now£¬ listen." "She means a Iot to me£¬ so you can't be doing all this stuff£¬ okay?" "You got to look like someone I would be with." "I'm not going to be with you tomorrow 'cause I'm going golfing." "You have to be here£¬ Ray." "The book's about families." "She loves to ask really tough questions£¬ so we got to get our story straight." "Story straight?" "What'd we do£¬ knock over a 7-EIeven?" "Okay£¬ that's exactly the kind of thing that is going to kill us£º your sense of ¡°humor.¡±" "In sports, the International Basketball League was busy last night...." "What are you doing?" "Turning off the TV." "In fact£¬ we should move the TV." "I don't want Dr. Nora to think this is the focal point of our living room." "It's the focal point of our lives." "Ray£¬ just move this into the den£¬ okay?" "Oh£¬ my God£¬ that's her." "I'II get it." "No£¬ I'II get it." "Ray£¬ please." "AII right?" "please what?" "Just please." "hello." "Debra?" "Hi." "Yes." "Oh£¬ my God." "Come on in." "This is unbelievable." "Ray£¬ this is Dr. Sarasin." "There's no reason to be so formal." "call me Dr. Nora." "Dr. Nora." "You have a lovely home." "Thanks." "well£¬ we're going to repaint this room." "Too many bad memories here." "These are our two boys£¬ Geoffrey and michael." "What adorable twins." "Thank you." "It is good you dress them differently." "Of course£¬ because they're two different people with different personalities." "And this is my daughter ally." "hello£¡ What are you drawing there£¬ ally?" "Naked Barbie." "Honey£¬ why don't we draw Barbie building something?" "She could still be naked." "Can you go soon?" "Sweetie£¬ it's nap time now." "You want me to get them up?" "No£¬ I'II get them." "I Iove caring for the children." "So fulfilling." "Okay£¬ come on£¬ ally£¬ let's go." "I'II read you a story£¬ okay?" "I'II be just a minute£¬ all right?" "And£¬ Ray£¬ don't...." "Don't what?" "Just don't." "So£¬ Ray£¬ what's it like having three children under the age of five?" "well£¬ I Iike to tell people it's kind of like a frat house." "Nobody sleeps£¬ everything's broken£¬ and there's a Iot of throwing up." "Can I quote you?" "You like that?" "Yeah£¬ I do." "Get back in that crib now." "Said the mama bear to the three little bears." "She tells great stories£¬ Debra." "Ray£¬ there's a big black car parked in your driveway." "Yeah£¬ Deb's got some company£¬ all right?" "You know who drives big black cars?" "The Feds." "It's my car." "I'm here to see Debra." "Wait a minute." "Say something else." "hello£¬ I'm Dr. Nora." "That voice." "Are you Dr. Nora?" "That's me." "I can't tell you what a huge fan I am of yours£¡" "You taught me to express myself." "Thanks a bunch£¬ lady." "These are the kind of parents that keep you in business." "We live right across the street." "really?" "How are you fixed for pie£¬ Ray?" "I take it the boundaries are rather informal." "They're rather invisible." "You and I have a Iot in common." "Ma£¬ Dr. Nora's got time to write you one prescription and then you got to go." "I am so glad that Debra's seeing someone." "Just between us£¬ what's wrong with her?" "So you're a radio doctor?" "You wouldn't think you'd have to be on the radio with that figure." "Frank£¡" "It's a compliment." "Yeah£¬ he used to write for hallmark." "You still don't know how to behave£¬ do you?" "Leave me alone." "I'm talking." "You're not talking£¬ you're embarrassing." "You always do that to me£¬ like with Lee and Stan in the restaurant." "I'm not listening anymore" "Now you're gonna start singing." "He does that to try to drown me out." "How'd you Iike it if I sing?" "Frank Barone, will you shut up?" "You can talk all night, you can talk all day" "Frank Barone, will you shut up?" "Okay£¬ guys." "Dad£¬ stop it." "Mom£¡" "Look£¬ company." "Ray£¬ come here." "Dr. Nora is here to talk to me£¬ not to Peaches  Herb." "I'm going to get rid of them." "please." "Don't call my mother ¡°Herb.¡±" "Robert£¬ I want you to meet Dr. Nora... the famous psychologist from the radio." "hello." "Is this about me?" "actually£¬ it's not about any of you." "Dr. Nora is here to talk to me." "So£¬ thanks for visiting" "Debra£¬ I would love if they stay." "I think they'd add an interesting dimension to the piece." "Hey£¬ chips." "You hear that?" "We're interesting." "And your husband is very funny." "She's going to quote me." "well£¬ you know£¬ that's why I married him£¬ Dr. Nora£¬ for his sense of humor." "You see£¬ we met when I was doing PR for a hockey team... and I know what you're going to say£¬ ¡°Oh£¬ a woman in hockey.¡±" "But actually£¬ it wasn't as...." "well£¬ but I am not sure... if that's the kind of information you're looking for." "would you Iike me to get right to our sex life?" "Excuse me£¬ are you very nervous right now... or do you do that all the time?" "Do what?" "AII right£¬ I am no expert in body language£¬ but stop yelling." "Dr. Nora was supposed to be here for me... not your family£¬ and by the end£¬ she didn't even know I was in the room." "I am sure she did." "Who do you think was bringing her all that pie?" "Of course she was interested in them." "Some shrinks got to go to 40 institutions to find all the action she found in that room." "Yeah£¬ she was pretty interested in you£¬ too." "Even me." "little bit." "I think she was very impressed with my weekly underwear schedule." "Yeah£¬ eight years." "Eight years you made fun of me." "Come on." "Dr. Nora thought I was boring." "You're not boring£¬ you're normal." "That's good." "Growing up in my family£¬ I prayed for normal every night." "Then I'd fall asleep to the sound of my brother naming his toes." "There was Fat Tony£¬ Jimmy the weasel..." "billy Stretch£¬ and Tastes Bad." "Ray£¬ I was so excited that Dr. Nora was coming here... but there's no way I couId follow the dysfunctional family circus." "You should have went on before them." "Maybe if you'd been yourself£¬ Dr. Nora would've been more interested." "What did you go put on a big act for?" "Because I am boring." "There's£¬ you know£¬ nothing about me... that's£¬ you know£¬ like£¬ quirky... or funny or interesting." "What are you doing?" "There's a little left in there." "I'm sorry." "No." "See£¬ that's exactly my problem." "I don't do that." "Do what?" "Lick the bowl£¡" "I mean£¬ that's the kind of great weird stuff you freaking guys do all the time." "What do you mean?" "This?" "You could do this." "Come on." "Come to the dark side." "Lick the bowl." "¡°I won't hurt you." "I'm just a bowl£¬ that's all.¡±" "AII right£¬ we'II work on it." "Look£¬ Ray£¬ just tell me something£¬ okay." "Do you think that I'm boring?" "Thank you very much for your answer£¬ Ray." "Come on£¬ I didn't say anything." "Come on£¬ Deb." "ally£¬ want some chocolate milk?" "ally£¬ how did you think of that?" "It's easy." "Guess you just have to be a blood relative." "hello£¬ dear." "Hi." "What's for dinner?" "It's turkey dogs." "Turkey dogs?" "What an interesting choice." "I have them every week." "That's totally insane." "What?" "What he means is£¬ you've got some imagination there£¬ Debra." "Where are you going£¬ honey?" "Can I be excused?" "well£¬ you didn't finish your hot dog." "It tastes like chocolate milk." "Okay." "Isn't she marvelous with the kids?" "So offbeat?" "So£¬ Debra£¬ hi." "Hi." "Oh£¬ look£¬ you're wearing slippers and socks at the same time." "That is so unique and different." "Okay." "AII right£¬ you can all stop now." "I get it." "Stop what?" "Trying to make me feel like I'm interesting." "It's a very nice effort£¬ but it's a little transparent." "What's she talking about?" "See?" "That's that imagination again." "AII right£¬ already." "Hey£¬ honey." "What's up?" "Guess what£¬ Ray?" "Your family came over to convince me that I am fascinating." "What do you mean?" "AII at once?" "Not one at a time£¬ which would be the smart£¬ subtle way?" "You know£¬ when you're feeling really bad about yourself... there's nothing to make you feel better than being patronized." "Thank you£¬ Ray." "You're welcome." "What did you do?" "We tried to do what you said£¬ but she didn't give us much to work with." "Socks and slippers." "Okay£¬ I'm very boring." "Yes£¬ I know." "I'm very boring£¬ okay?" "We can all agree." "Oh£¬ honey£¬ I would never call you boring." "You just lack a certain...." "Flair£¡" "flair?" "Like all of you have?" "well£¬ your Dr. Nora seems to think so." "Yeah£¬ she's sending a photographer over to take our picture." "AII right£¬ stop helping now." "Thanks." "No£¬ that's okay." "They're right." "I'm not interesting." "I don't have ¡°flair.¡±" "I mean£¬ maybe I would have flair... if I barged into people's houses 50 times a day going£º" "What's that£¬ dear?" "Frosting in a can?" "¡°So much easier than homemade.¡±" "Yeah£¬ or what about£º" "¡°I saw something questionable in the refrigerator." "It's gotten worse.¡±" "She's doing you." "Maybe this is more interesting." "¡°How are you fixed for pie£¬ sweetheart?" "¡±" "Take it easy£¬ huh?" "Stop it." "I'm not listening anymore" "She's very good." "She's good." "She's very good." "Very interesting£¬ too£¬ that's all." "How about this for some fascinating behavior?" "Never ends for Raymond." "¡°You're a lucky man£¬ Raymond.¡±" "AII right£¬ stop it." "¡°No." "Everybody loves Raymond.¡±" "Do me now." "Got the aspirin." "Thanks." "feeling better?" "Like I popped something." "Don't worry£¬ though." "I'II go over in the morning and apologize." "You can go over there£¬ but don't apologize£¬ just do the act again." "They loved you." "You were afraid you were boring." "Yeah£¬ but I mean£¬ that wasn't me£¬ Ray£¬ that was them." "Nothing funny about me to imitate£¬ you know?" "What are you talking about?" "Here£¬ I'II do you£º" "¡°Ray£¬ get off of me." "It's not your birthday.¡±" "I'm kidding£¬ all right?" "You don't say that£¬ exactly." "You don't know what it's like to go through your whole life just normal." "You don't get it." "You've got to be normal." "I mean£¬ look at all of us." "We need a normal one." "God£¬ that's true." "That's why I married you." "You know what?" "You are weird." "You're just saying that to be nice." "No." "Listen." "Why would any normal person put up with us for as long as you have?" "I don't know." "That's right." "I was born into this family." "I'm stuck with them." "But what kind of weirdo would choose to be one of us?" "There's something wrong with you." "You really think so?" "You think something's wrong with me?" "Of course£¬ look at you." "How could you explain this?" "Yeah£¬ I think you're right." "I'm really weird." "You're weird." "You're a sick£¬ twisted individual." "really twisted£¬ yeah." "Give yourself some credit." "Yeah." "You know£¬ you imitated everybody today except me." "I can't do you." "Come on." "No£¬ I can't." "Go ahead." "Give it a try." "Oh£¬ no£¡" "There's something wrong with the shower." "Get out of here." "¡°My rash is back.¡±" "You know£¬ it isn't funny if it hurts the other person."