"subtitles by el nino" "SLEEP AWAKE" "I am lacking the slightest bit of courage..." "I won't show you anything.." "I can do so much, though I'll show you nothing" "When I fuck, it's like another body fucks and I move around just so he knows I'm alive but I feel everything and I pant mechanically" "I want to enjoy it" "To feel his hard cock inside me, on me, his hands, his saliva bursting in my mouth to..." "I want to stroke his skin, ass... to... all over.." "I want to live." "I want to let go..." "I'm so far away" "It's from fear from this comfort that hiding gives me that I've come to do so much nonsense for this world" "I have so many friends" "I do so much shit for you" "I'm nothing." "You make me fell all the shittier with all your "thank you"-s" "I hate you all." "I only want to suck cock, not save your animals" "I shit on your stupid shit, on your wellbeing" "I shit on all of you, on all." "You're ugly, your're stupid and I hope you fucking die!" "What?" "Do you think I'm lying?" "Ugh?" "Am I lying to you?" "Am I hungry?" "Am I having my period?" "I only know you're lying" "You lie" "You lie" "Yes, hello, I saw you called earlier." "Are you a weirdo or something?" "What?" "Are you a weirdo or something?" "Yeah" "With what?" "Do you want to have sex?" "Yes" "Now?" "No" "You look very... good... in this light." "Why did you write to me?" "I wanted to..." "I wanted too... but, first, let's talk a little" "Talk about what?" "We get undressed, then," "I caress you, we kiss, then I touch you, between your legs, and you get a little wet, and..." "I get inside you and that's it." "Yeah, where to?" "You're a boy... right?" "And being a boy is easy" "I mean you have a dick and having a dick is like having a bat for the other it's more difficult, she must be confident that you know what to do with it, or at least you could tell her you do, I don't know... to build a dream for her..." "an illusion" "Do you want me to lie to you?" "I think I do." "Do you want to go out for a coffee?" "I was with a guy once and I was feeling so good and I told him: you can do anything with me and he turned me on the other side and he shoved it in my ass." "Cool" "Not that cool..." "Ah..." "Okay" "Let's talk about something." "Silence scares me." "What?" "Isn't it weird?" "Every time someone says... 'let's talk' about something, anything, it's like you become stupid suddenly and won't know what to say" "So we have to talk about something..." "It must be trivial, not something simple." "Yeah" "Like what?" "I don't know... about your day and I'll be looking at you and scanning you for cool things and for shitty things following your face, your hands..." "I don't know...stuff." "You don't really get out much, do you?" "You know what," "I don't want to do anything anymore." "You do!" "Any man who knows he is desired, attaches himself and to get rid of you I would have to stick a pen into your neck or anyhow, something painful even more so, since I'm beautiful and anxious" "and that, you know, shrouds me in some mystery." "what would you want more?" "You don't really have that beauty... the fashion magazine type, you know?" "More likely a kind of a beauty, like a nerd all locked up in her house that creeps me out somehow." "Really?" "Listen, uhm... are you by any chance a feminist lesbian?" "No, I like simple things." "Women are a nuissance and awful, anyway and I wouldn't want to lick any pussy" "But you want to suck cock." "I do it but I don't like it." "Oh, come on... why are you giving my this shit?" "Why not?" "Because if we go to my place and..." "You suck it..." "By the way, how big is it?" "I don't know" "Ok, bye." "You never put a ruler on it?" "Wait a second, take my number." "Hello?" "Hi" "It's Ilie" "Yeah, from the park, from the internet," "I was wondering if you wouldn't want to meet" "Ok" "Ok, bye" "Don't" "I smell of cat and of cigarette smoke." "May I take a shower at your place?" "Yeah" "May I stay at your place without us doing anything?" "Why would you stay?" "Please" "I want to hide somewhere" "Do you still want to take a shower?" "Yes" "What's this?" "I don't know" "I just came to me one day." "It's very beautiful" "It's not beautiful..." "The water is running in the bathroom" "That's ok" "No" "No, not in the bed" "I was dreaming I was on the side of the road and passed out and that you brought me flowers and you kissed me to get well" "And did you get well?" "Are you asleep?" "Wake up" "What time is it?" "Five" "Leave me a bit longer" "THE END" "music by art director costumes and make-up director of photography executive producer a film by helped by" "2nd AD photography production still photography thanks to Subtitles made by el nino"