"The excitement is tangible, as Dethklok will arrive at any minute to this, the single largest press conference in recorded history." "For the first time anywhere, the band will discuss their highly anticipated new album." "Never has the release of an album meant so much to so many people." "Tell us about the new album." "Pickles:" "I've always said this-- talking about music is like painting about farting." "Skwisgaar:" "Oh, my God." "Can you guys ever be serious?" "Nathan:" "Uh, can I ever be serious?" ""Can I ever be serious" is a good question." "Can I ever be serious?" "I don't know." "I guess..." "That's doable!" "Thank you." "Thank you." "I'm really glad everyone loves my catchphrase." "How come what's-his-face isn't here?" "Nathan:" "What's-his-face?" "Uh, Toki!" "Nathan:" "Oh, Toki." "Pickles:" "Ah, Toki's not here." "Nathan:" "I guess we forgot him." "I wonder if that's doable." "Thank you." "Skwisgaari wonders where he ams." "Toki:" "Hey, guys, I mades everyones some delimptious chickens tenders with ams all naturals whites meat." "Ah, whats the hells?" "Oh, they dids it agains." "They lefts me behinds!" "Murderface, Murderface, over here!" "Murderface:" "Go ahead, Dennis." "What's with the facial hair?" "Murderface:" "Uh, it's called lookin' good." "Next question!" "Uh, yeah." "I have a question in regards to your fan base." "Why are the majority of metal fans white?" "I mean, do you only seek out white audiences?" "And what would you say to metal fans that aren't white?" "Just askin'." "Nathan:" "Uh... oh, uh, one last thing -- are...you...racist?" "♪ Tick-tock tick-tock ♪" "♪ tick-tock tick-tock ♪" "Is Dethklok racist?" "The accusation of racism is a surefire way to end the career of even the most beloved celebrities." "If Dethklok wants to avoid the same fate, they're going to have to do something drastic to sidestep this damning charge." "Charles:" "So, we're gonna be doing some community outreach to combat the, uh, negative press resulting from, uh, your apparent racial insensitivity." "Pickles: "Your apparent racial sensitivity?"" "Do you think that sounds a little racist?" "Nathan:" "Yeah, that sounded a little racist to me." "Charles:" "It's not me that they're calling racist." "They're calling you racist." "Nathan:" "We're not racist!" "We don't give a [bleep] what color our fans are because we don't give a [bleep] about our fans!" "Isn't that right?" "Pickles:" "Boy, is it ever!" "Charles:" "Either way, the media thinks you're racist." "Nathan:" "Hey, listen, I know we like to joke around a lot about everything." "But I love ethnics." "I mean, I love Mexican...food." "Murderface:" "Yep." "Nathan:" "Chinese food." "Murderface:" "Yep." "Nathan:" "Black, uh, licorice." "Pickles:" "I don't understand why people even have to say if a person's a d-- a color." "I walked down the street, and there was a guy asking me for money." "Murderface:" "Yeah." "I was walking down the street, and a few guys made me really nervous, and I walked on the other side of the street." "Just some guys!" "Pickles:" "My cousin was raped by a bunch of guys." "Murderface:" "Some guys' neighborhoods just have liquor stores and not proper supermarkets -- just guys." "Pickles:" "When I'm walking in particular areas in the city, I mind my wallet around some guys." "Nathan:" "Write that down and put out a press release." "Murderface:" "Racist." "Ha!" "Provin' it wrong!" "Charles:" "All right, guys, we got to get serious about this, okay?" "If you get called racist, then you're done, all right?" "Your career's over, and you can't recover from that, all right?" "So this community outreach program better be perfect, okay?" "You hear me?" "Murderface:" "We got to nail it, guys!" "Charles:" "That's right, Murderface, because America's numerous anti-defamation leagues will be there." "Pickles:" "Hey, guys, where's Toki?" "Murderface:" "Ah, lazy -- just lazy." "Charles:" "Guys, try to be nice to Toki." "He's feeling a little excluded lately." "Toki: ♪ Those jerks haves left me behind ♪" "♪ why'd they forget about me?" "♪" "♪ I'm insignificants ♪" "♪ I'm seconds class in my own bands ♪" "♪ I'm sick of this ♪" "♪ I won'ts take it no more ♪" "♪ it's gotta change ♪" "♪ it's gotta change ♪" "♪ it's gotta change ♪" "♪ I'ms gonna start a club today ♪" "♪ gonna do things my owns way ♪" "♪ I'll invites the ones I likes ♪" "♪ gonna make a list tonights ♪" "♪ and we'll dress just like the gods ♪" "♪ trim our mustaches in squads ♪" "♪ with love ♪" "♪ I'll build a clubs with loves ♪" "♪ with loves ♪" "♪ with loves ♪" "I'd likes to make an announcement " " Toki ams forming an exclusives clubs calleds the special persons invites club." "'Cause Toki's ams tireds of being excludeds." "And best of alls, I ams the leader." "That's why the logos ams going to be a lower case "t" for Toki." "Nathan:" "Oh, Toki, is this about us leaving you behind the other day?" "Look, we made a mistake." "And you know how much I hate to apologize, so you get the idea." "Toki:" "Well, this wasn't the first time!" "How comes I didn't know it was suits of armors Fridays?" "How comes I'm the only ones who didn't knows abouts kitty whiskers mondays?" "How comes you trickeds me into dressing up like a banana at the zoos?" "Nathan:" "Okay, you got a point." "You want me in your club?" "Well, I have two words to say to you -- that is doable." "I'll be in your club!" "Skwisgaar:" "Ohhh!" "Murderface:" "Oh, yeah!" "Can't wait, seriously." "I cannot wait for this club." "Toki:" "You can't just joins my clubs." "You gots to be invited." "You can only gets ins if you gets a special text message from me." "Nathan:" "Whoa!" ""You has been inviteds to..."" "I think I got in!" "Pickles:" "Hey, I got into Toki's club!" "Skwisgaar:" "Uh, me toos." "I'm ins!" "Murderface:" "I got nothing." "Maybe it's a bad recep-- Toki:" "You ams nots getting inviteds to my clubs because your mustache looks stupids." "You ain'ts gots the right look." "Murderface:" "Err... my-- my -- my mustache?" "Stampingston:" "Gentlemen, it appears as if Dethklok is doing some community outreach in an effort to squash racist allegations." "Here to discuss the ramifications of these efforts is Dr. Krumpworth Chponglasia IV Jr." "It is a complicated era for gaylords, chinks, honkeys, or chonkeys who accidentally say racist or other insensitive things that they do or do not mean." "Stampingston:" "Yes." "Do Jew... know what I'm talking about?" "And for this spic-ly behavior, the micks and the Jew-wops will get thrown into the Ching-Chong Coop with the rest of the double homos and the worst of them, the you-know-who's." "Our only hope is to bring all of these wonderful dune sponges together that we may all embrace our differences and each other doggy-style because it's much dirtier that way." "Thank you." "Orlaag:" "Speaking of opposition, the technological genius leader of the world's foremost anti-Dethklok group, the revengencers, Edgar Jomfru, was last spotted at the attack on Mordhaus." "But now we believe him to be in Dethklok's captivity." "Charles:" "What is it, Jomfru?" "While trying to decode these falconback blueprints we've intercepted, I've been listening to Dethklok's "Dethwater" album, my personal favorite." "And I discovered subsonic frequencies hidden in the recording." "They're not made by instruments." "They're made by whales." "There's a repeating message I keep hearing." "I believe they are trying to communicate with the band." "There's a way to translate this." "I just need some time." "Charles:" "Yes." "It's all beginning to happen." "Pickles: ♪ Special persons invite club ♪" "♪ that is what I'm talking about ♪" "Nathan: ♪ Special persons invite club ♪" "♪ that is what I'm talking about ♪" "Skwisgaar: ♪ Special persons invites club ♪" "♪ that is what I'm talkings about ♪" "Toki:" "I knew you guys would likes the clubs." "I ams never been happiers in my wholes entires life!" "Murderface:" "I thought my mustache would bring me popularity and acceptance, but it's driven me further into disfigured isolation." "It's a vicious world that makes a man choose between a mustache and a special persons invite club." "Toki:" "I ordered some uniforms for all clubs members." "Will you guys wears them?" "Nathan:" "That's doable!" "Pickles:" "How does he have the energy to keep doing it?" "Toki:" "That was a special exclusive clubs "doable."" "Murderface:" "So, Toki, I couldn't cut my 'stache." "But I matted my hair down with some pomade and some butter." "And I think you'll all agree that I have the right look and that I'm finally fitting in." "I'm definitely club material here, if I say so myself." "Toki:" "Hmm." "Your efforts hasn'ts gones unappreciated, yet I regrets to unforms you that your looks ams stills unacceptable." "Murderface:" "Cut the crap." "What is this really about, huh?" "!" "This is my [bleep] life we're talking about!" "A man's mustache is his whole world." "I want in that [bleep] club!" "Toki:" "I can'ts hear anythings." "I can only hears official clubs members." "Tonight, "eracism."" "Dethklok is achieving the impossible by recovering from accusations of discrimination." "A multicultural audience of thousands have gathered in support as Dethklok unveils their extravagant new urban youth Dethcenter." "Charles:" "Guys, this, uh, youth center is going to mean a lot to your minority fans." "So let's just get through this, and we won't be, uh, racist anymore." "I mean, uh, we never were, but uh, people thought we were." "But I know that I'm not racist, and I suspect that you're not." "Okay, once they get their building -- Nathan:" "They?" "Charles:" "Okay." "Then we get our nonracist reputation back." "Okay, where's Murderface?" "Murderface:" "All right, Toki." "You win." "I gotta trim this mustache." "Oh [bleep]" "Charles:" "Everybody ready?" "Pickles:" "Oh, did you notice, Nathan?" "There's gonna be a cool, uh, logo onstage for Toki's club?" "Nathan:" "Yeah." "Everybody got your cool Toki outfit on?" "Pickles:" "I've all this extra dangle room for my [bleep]" "Irish [bleep]" "You know what I mean, Toki?" "Toki?" "Ladies and gentlemen, the moment you've all been waiting for, magnanimous acceptors of all races " " Dethklok!" "Nathan:" "Hello, friends." "What a great evening for brotherly love." "Pickles:" "Lots of nonracist, happy acceptance." "Skwisgaar:" "Holy [bleep] guys." "We ams dressed like the [bleep]" "Klans." "Pickles: [Bleep] Toki!" "Your special outfits, while very comfortable, are going to get us killed!" "Toki:" "Ah, you [bleep] left me again!" "Murderface:" "Wait for me!" "I'm ready to be in the club!" "Charles:" "Oh, dear God." "Murderface:" "Oh [bleep]" "Let's get out of here!" "Pickles:" "Let's scramble!" "Nathan:" "Yeah!"