"#[Hip-Hop]" "# Gotta get me some # -#Fame #" "#Sittin' on top of the world #" "#Fast money, fast cars # -#Fame, fame, fame #" "# Champagne and caviar # -# Oh, fame #" "# Oh, gotta get me some # -#Fame #" "#Sittin'on top of the world # -# Oh, fame #" "#Fast money, fast cars # -#Fame, fame, fame #" "# Champagne and caviar #" "#I got the flow to make the game zip #" "#Pull up in the spot and in the lane rip #" "#Like a three-point shot the snap of a net when it pops #" "#My game is hot the number-one top official #" "#Everything I rock is presidential #" "#From the watch to the rocks in my ears #" "#Hits like this bang for years so it's nothing to fear Juwanna Mann #" "#Ain't no scars on my face I'm like Pacino The world is mine #" "#Lavish homes, fly rims plus my girl's a dime #" "#Long nights taking flights The famous type #" "# Why tell you who I am You see my name in lights #" "# Give dough to my friends and mama With the Benz and Hummer #" "#Party till the end of summer Even if it's fall still ball #" "#No pain, no gain Bring it to you in the lane No game, no fame #" "# Oh, fame # -# Gotta get me some #" "#Sittin'on top of the world # -# Oh, fame #" "#Fast money, fast cars # -#Fame, fame, fame #" "# Champagne and caviar # -# Oh, fame #" "# Gotta get me some # -# Oh, fame #" "#Sittin'on top of the world Fast money, fast cars #" "#Fame, fame, fame # -# Champagne and caviar #" "#Fame # -# Gotta get me some #" "#Fame # -#Sittin'on top of the world #" "#Fame # -#Fast money, fast cars #" "#Fame, fame, fame # -# Champagne and caviar #" "# Oh, fame # -# Oh, gotta get me some #" "#Fame # -#Sittin'on top of the world #" "#Fast money, fast cars Champagne and caviar # -# Oh, fame ##" "[Crowd Shouting, Screaming]" "[Crowd Screams Louder]" "You guys know the drill." "I got to get ready for the game." " Damn." "[Kid] Mr. Jeffiries." "Mr. Jeffiries." "Can I please have your autograph?" "Yeah." "Sure, kid." "Ricky." "A stamp?" "You're welcome, kid." "Stay in school." "Be like Jamal." "[Man] Another monster dunk by Jam-all." "The kid is on fire tonight." "Kenny, that's what I'm talking about." "That six-game suspension did him some good." "His mind is right." " [Crowd Cheers]" " Ooh!" "Ooh!" "Ooh!" " Come and get some of this, boy." " What you got, smurf?" "What you got, big smurf?" "Huh?" "Huh?" "Bam!" "Somebody catch me." "Did I come down on you?" "If you had a little bit more game, maybe you wouldn't be crying." "If you were just a little taller." "A little bit taller." "Here we go again." "[Whistle Blows]" " What's up with that, man?" " I'm supposed to let you through?" " Is that five?" " Yep." "Here's the problem." "That's five fouls on Jam-all." "One more, he's done." "That'd set a team record for disqualifications." " Hearn, get in there for Jeffries." " Ref, I was going for the ball." "You need to watch the game." "You're missing a good one." " Jamal, you out, man." "I got you." " I ain't going nowhere." " Go tap somebody else." " Time out!" " Time out!" " [Blows Whistle]" "I was born with it, baby." "Don't be jealous." "Don't be jealous." " Jamal, you're out." " What do you mean I'm out?" "I'm out?" "I'm out of what, Coach?" "What you gonna do, fire me?" "I'm the head coach." "I call the shots." "Wait." "Hold on." "You may call the shots, but I'm making all the shots." "Coach, you see that?" "Look at that scoreboard." "That's me, bro." "All me." "You may be coach of this damn team, but I am the team." "There isn't a team in this league that wouldn't kill to have a player like me." " They can have you." " Yeah?" "And you can have this..." "Coach." "[Crowd Booing]" "Yeah, boo you." "You want something to boo about?" "Huh?" "How about this?" " Yeah, boo you too." " Boo!" "Yeah, yeah, boo you." "Yeah, boo you." "This is the most disgusting display of unsportsmanlike conduct I have ever seen." "How about this?" " Oh, Lord." " Change that to second most." " Ha!" " Oh, my God." "You like it." "You like it, don't you, ladies?" "How you like me now?" "Last night Beat guard Jamal Jeffries... gave the fans much more than they bargained for... when he decided to get ready for the showers a little early at the Charlotte Coliseum." "Say hello to my little friend." "How you like me now?" "I don't know what the big deal is." "We are all born naked." "I like being naked." "Don't you like being naked?" "J.J., he sort of lost it tonight, but, hey, it happens." "I think we as professional athletes got to be role models to the kids... because they look up to us in the community." "[Man] Yo, Rasheed, you suck." "Well, say it to my face then, chump." "Whatever the league decides to do in this case... they won't get an argument from us." "The commissioner of basketball will be having a press conference later... to announce what penalties the league will be imposing." "We were able to get the reaction of Jamal's agent." "I spoke with Jamal earlier today... and, naturally, he's feeling quite remorseful... regarding his losing control." "I happen to know, in fact, that at this very moment... he's quietly reflecting on his inappropriate behavior." "Mmmmmmmmmm..." "Ow!" "Give it to me." "Give it to me." "Whoo!" "I love this game, baby!" "What's up?" "What's up in here?" "Having a good time?" "Everybody having a good time?" "##[RB]" " I ain't groovin' unless I got three booties." " Throw your hands up.!" "Throw your hands up.!" " Mm-mm-mm." "Look at that, out there with the three skankateers." "Girl, I don't know how you put up with that." "Honey, all these tricks is dogs." "But if you have to sleep in a doghouse, it might as well look like this one." "True." "[Phone Rings]" " Work it!" "Work it!" "Hey, hey, hey!" "I know you hear the phone!" "You see me talkin' business." "Get the phone." "Go get the phone!" "I ain't deaf." "I got to rethink cloning." "Uhh!" "Yeah!" " Phone call." " What do you want me to do?" "I'm busy." "Tell 'em I'm not here." " Sorry, Aunt Ruby, but Jamal can't come to the phone..." " Aunt Ruby?" "Out." "Y'all heard me." "Out." "Boy, what in the world is the matter with you?" "Have you lost your mind?" "Have you plum lost your mind?" " I was ready to call you..." " Don't interrupt me when I'm talking to you." " I know, but I'm..." " I said don't interrupt me." "Yes, ma'am." "I'm sitting here last night, watching the game with my girlfriends... and the next thing I know I'm looking at your naked butt cheeks." "I read the TV guide, Jamal, and nowhere did it say... that I would see my nephew Jamal's scrawny ass on channel 18 at 8:00." "I know, Aunt Ruby, but..." "You think you can carry on any ol' way, any ol' how just 'cause you feel like it?" "Answer me when I'm talking to you, boy!" " But you just told me not to interrupt." " I don't care what I said." " #" " Wait a minute." "Is that music I hear over there?" " You having a party?" " No." "That stupid girl got her TV up." "Are you..." "You know what?" "I'm not gonna raise my blood pressure... and get upset over this nonsense." "Calm down." " Yeah, take a deep breath." " Oh, Lord." "They talking about you on television, JJ." " They talking about me on TV?" " Is there an echo on this phone?" "Yeah!" " Turn it on!" "I got to go!" " Hello?" "The league has had enough." "Professional basketball can no longer sit idly by... and watch its players undermine the integrity of this game." "As of today, Jamal Jeffiries is suspended, indefinitely." "No more questions, please." "Hey, don't worry about all that, y'all." "This is all gonna blow over." "You know how it is." "It's just the man trying to hold a brother down." "You know how they do it." "Pro basketball needs Jamal Jeffries." "This is gonna blow over." "Blow over." "Trust me." "No, Friday's no good for me." "No, Friday's no good for me." "You know what?" "I'm gonna have to call you back." "My client from Chippendale's just showed up." "Yeah, all right." "Bye-bye." "Hey, Jamal." "What's up, baby?" "Shoot me straight." "I talked to the Beat about an hour ago and they've dropped your contract." "Well, too bad for the Beat." "They can drop all they want." "My stuff is guaranteed." "Jamal's contract's guaranteed." "Was guaranteed." "Yeah." "There's a little thing in the contract called a morals clause... and since, well, you don't seem to have any... the contract becomes null and his trusty sidekick void." "So you the sidekick, right?" "Then earn your money and get on the horn." "Shop me around to other teams." "Come on, Tonto." "Let's go." "That's pretty much how I spent my entire day." "Talked to every team, every single team." "Nobody wants you." "You know why?" "You're a head case." "Well, then bump 'em." "Bump 'em all." "Jamal don't need them." "Send me to Europe." "I like foreign women." "And you know, not a bad idea." "Unfortunately, though, it turns out... they call it the "worldwide web" for a reason." " That's your ass." " Forget that." "What about the CBA?" "What about the Globetrotters?" " I mean, something." " Globetrotters." "That'd be fun." "No." "Nobody wants you, not even the Clippers." " I thought you were my friend, Lorne." " See, now, that's a problem." "I'm not your friend." "I'm your agent." "I was your agent." "That also is null and void." "Wait." "What are you saying?" "Now you're not gonna be my agent?" "Yeah, it's over." "I can't be your agent." "That's silly." "But I certainly wish you luck." "I do." "And here's hoping you invested your money wisely..." " 'cause I don't see any fresh cash coming in any time soon." "Ahh.!" "Don't even need to hear it." "Bling." "Jamal Jeffries's got plenty cash." "So don't you worry about me." "Okay?" "Jamal Jeffries is set, baby." "Set." "Broke?" "What the hell do you mean I'm broke?" "[Man] You ain't got no more money, dog." "Chapter 11." "Chapter 11?" "What happened to the first ten chapters?" " Are you stupid?" "No money, man." " Tell me, Mr. Business Manager..." " What you been doing with all my money?" " You spent it all." " I spent it all?" " That's right." "You spent it all." " I did?" " Maybe you got too many furs." " Why didn't you try to stop me?" " Tried to do that, bro." " You did?" " I sure did." "Yo, Tina!" "Yo, baby, everything gonna be all right." "It sho' is." "You still got a little modeling left in you." "It'll be chump change compared to what I used to bring in... but it'll get us by until the commissioner comes to his senses." "Come on, baby." "Where you at?" "I'm in the bedroom." "I'll be out in a minute." "Yeah, well, come on." "Ain't that much makeup in the world." "You know I had a rough couple of days." "You ought to be rubbing a brother down." "[Announcer] The Banshees.!" " Losing all control." "And they're back." "I'm prepare to rumble." "Are you?" " Get your tickets today." " I'll rumble with you." "I'll rumble with you all night long." " Women's basketball." "What a joke." " Jamal, I'm leaving." "Okay." "While you're out, why don't you pick a brother up something to eat." "I'm..." "Baby, what you doing?" "That's the good luggage." "Don't make it easy on 'em." "Put this..." " What is that?" " My stuff." "I'm leaving you." "What do you mean you leaving?" "The only reason why I stayed with your lyin', cheating' ass... is because you were rich and famous." " But now you're neither, so what's the point?" " What are you talking about?" "What about all the good lovin' you was getting up in here?" "I packed it." "The batteries too." "Good-bye, Jamal." "Go ahead." "Go ahead." "Yeah, you try to come back... you're gonna have to start at the bottom of the list." "Yeah, yeah, yeah." "That's why I'm leaving your broke ass." "Yeah, plus your feet stink!" "All right, listen to me." "You wanna win this thing, it's real simple." "You go inside and you act like an adult." "That's all." "If you forget what that is, just look around the room at everybody else." "Hold on here." "I am calm, Loren." "I am cool." "And I am ready to collect my checks." "Damn, I look good." "Mr. Jeffries, you have clearly embarrassed the league, your team... and I certainly hope you've embarrassed yourself." "What is it you're here to say to me today?" "Uh, I'm here to say that..." "[Clears Throat]" "[Clears Throat] I'm here to say that... that what I did was wrong, and, uh..." "I sincerely, uh..." "I am..." "I'm sincerely..." "He apologizes, sir." "He is very apologetic." "This is not your arbitration hearing, Mr. Daniels." "May I remind you it's your client's." "He is the one with the oversized ego... that may be eclipsing his talent at this point." " Ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-hold, Colonel Sanders." "Hold on." " Mm!" "Excuse me. "Oversized ego eclipsing his talent?"" "Perhaps you haven't seen my game in a while, Pops." "Maybe you need to trim some of them mother... [Beep] bushes off your... [Beep] head." "You'd be able to see my mother... [Beep] game." "Don't try to give me no shit." " Take that." "What you got, baby?" " I'm gonna show you what I got." "I'm gonna show you what I got right now." "You still ain't saying nothing." " Ooh!" " [Chuckling]" "Jamal, you holding up the game." " Here." " Esther." "Uh, Esther, it's on you." " Come on, You old biddy." "play your card." " This bra is killing me." "You's a fine-lookin' young man." "Ooh!" "[All Laughing]" "Damn!" "Okay, that's it." "I've..." "I've had enough of the bridge club." "You ain't playing no more?" "No, no." "Oh." "I need to go outside for some air." "Why, J.J.?" "There's a CNN report that says... too much inside air is-is deadly." "[Ruby] While you're going outside... make yourself useful and pick up some groceries for the morning." "I ain't gonna fetch no groceries." "I don't do that no more, Aunt Ruby." "I'm a professional ballplayer." "I'm a star." "You a what?" "You heard me." "I'm a star." "Okay, okay, okay, okay." "Hurry back with them groceries, star." "Gonna talk back to me in my own house." "Your house?" "I was the one bought you the house." "You better get out of here." "Crazy ass." " Man, what happened?" " What you doing?" "Can't pass." "Hey, y'all, it's Jamal Jeffries." " Can I have your autograph?" " Yeah." "Sure, kid." " Where's your stupid stamp?" " [Boys] Ooh!" " What?" " You heard me." "Thought you were hot stuff, didn't you?" "But look at you now." "Look where your nasty attitude's gotten you." " Girl, I'll take this..." " Whatever." "Why don't you just go ahead and pass me the ball, if you still know how." "[Boys] Ooh!" "Ooh!" " Yeah." " Yeah, yeah, yeah." ""Yeah" that." "What you got, boy?" "Come on." "What you got?" "What you got?" "Boo-yah!" "How you like me now?" "Lorne Daniels, please." "Tell him it's Kobe Bryant looking for a new agent." "There you are, Lorne." "Jamal." " You can't stop me." " Don't hang up." "Listen to me." "I'm calling to tell you about a phenomenal basketball player I just met." "Why?" "Because you were good to me and I wanna be good to you." "Listen to me." "This is the greatest basketball player you've ever seen." "And get this, Lorne, it's a girl." "That's right." "A girl." "She a little rough around the edges 'cause she's straight up from the country." "Get me Coach Rivers on the phone, immediately." "Immediately!" "##[RB]" "#I'm coming #" "# Out #" "#I'm #" "#I'm coming #" "# Out #" "#I'm coming out #" " Yeah." " Time to get paid." "#I want the world to know #" " It's time to get paid." "Time to get paid." "# Got to let it show #" " Time to get... get paid." "#I'm coming out #" " Ah, yeah." "#I want the world to know #" "Uh!" "Uh!" " Get paid." "Get paid, baby." "# Got to let it show ##" "Get paid." "Time to get paid." "Time to get paid." "Jamal, what are you doing?" "Um, I'm, um, trying on your clothes, Aunt Ruby." "Yeah, I gather that, but what are you doing?" "I know this look freaky, Aunt Ruby, but it's not what you think." "Well, it can't get much better than what I think." "Jamal, there's no way I'm helping you do this." " Aunt Ruby..." "Aunt Ruby, please." " Mm-mmm." "Boy, get up off your knees in my pants." "Aunt Ruby!" "Jamal, when you were in the sixth grade... who was there for you when you traded your little baby cousin..." " For a new pair of basketball shoes?" " You were there, Aunt Ruby." "You were there for me, but I need you." "I was there, helped you through it, didn't ask no questions... didn't pass no judgments, but this..." "Boy, don't you give me them puppy dog eyes." " Aunt Ruby, you have to help me." "You got to help me." " Uh-uh." "Jamal, no!" "[Whistle Blows]" "[Women Shouting]" "Are you watching?" "Are you watching?" "Good shot." "Good shot." "That's what I'm talking about." "Way to break it down." "Lorne, practice is almost over." "I think your blind date just stood you up." "Looks that way, Jennifer." "Coach." "Sorry." "Listen." "It's all my fault." "I trusted somebody." "I should've known better..." " I'm here!" " [Blows Whistle] Hold up." "Uh, Latisha." "Guard her." "I hope your game's as tight as your ass." "Girl, I chase chickens quicker than you." "I hope you can make that ball bounce like them titties of yours." " Just keep your eyes on me." " Come on with it." "There you go." "Boom!" "Sweet." "Come on." "Let's go." "Here I go." "And... boom!" " That costs money." " Come on, girls!" " Ball!" "Ball!" " Ball what?" "Too easy." " Yeah." " Where did you find her?" "I heard about her from a friend." " Ball!" " I got her!" "Damn." "You made me miss." "That's blocking." "What?" "Oh, please." "You got to be kidding me." "She made me miss it." "Blocking." "Ladies, that's it." "Nice job." "We'll see you tomorrow." "Uh, so, why don't you call me in the morning... and maybe we can work something out." "Yeah." "Thanks, Coach." "What's your name anyway, hotshot?" " I don't know myself." "What is it?" " Let's get pizza." "You wanna?" " Ju..." "Juwanna." " Juwanna?" " Yes." "Juwanna, man." " Juwanna Mann, Coach Rivers." " It's great to meet you." " Nice to meet you, Coach." " You all right?" " Yo, I'm straight." " No, you not." " And you must be Lorne." " That's right." " Jamal's told me so much about you." " Really?" "Didn't tell me you were so cute though." "Juwanna!" "How's my favorite girl?" "Come on in." "Sit down." " Oh, why, thank you, Mr. Daniels." " Please, call me Lorne." "You should be on a first-name basis with the man who's about to change your life." " Oh, really?" "Gonna change my life?" "Absolutely." "I don't know how I did it." "Well, that's not completely true." "This here is a one-year contract for you with the Charlotte Banshees." " Oh, my Lord, are you kidding me?" " No." " Oh, my Lord!" " Mm-hmm." " Am I dreaming?" " No, you're not dreaming." "Go ahead." "Pinch yourself." "I'll wait." "This is the first time in my life I've ever been speechless." "That is the beauty of signing a contract." "There's no speech really required." "So just go ahead and sign there." "Don't I need to get a lawyer to take a look at this thing before I sign it?" "Of course not." "These contracts are completely standard at this point." "All the hard work's been done by me." "Just go ahead and sign." "I guess it's better than playing in the parks." " It certainly is." "Right here." " Right here?" "And here." "And here." "Juwanna." "Juwanna." "Juwanna." "That's a lovely signature." "Congratulations, Juwanna." "You are about to become the newest member... of the Charlotte Banshees." " Whee-ee.!" "[Beeping]" "I am so excited." "All in one day I'm starting a whole new life... and I have my very own big-time agent." "Oh, I don't want you to just think of me as your agent." "I'm also your friend." "Oh, that is so sweet, Lorne." "And I don't want you to only think of me as just your client... because I am also your ex-client, biatch." " Got you, didn't I?" " Oh, shit." "Give me the fax." "Give it to me." " Give it to me." "Give it to me." "Come on." " Uh-huh." "Uh-huh." "Mr. Daniels." "Mr... ." " Give it to me." " Mr. Daniels." "Mr. Daniels.!" " Your wife is on line three." " Tell her I'm with a client, will you?" "Okey-dokey." " God, this is great!" " Uh-huh." " Got your ass." "Got your ass.!" " Betty." "Betty." "Betty!" "I want you to get Coach Rivers on the line immediately, as in right now.!" "All right, okay." "When Coach Rivers gets on the phone, tell her the whole truth." "Okay." "I will." "I'll tell her." "I'll say, "Coach Rivers, yeah..." ""The only way Lorne could make money offi me was to dress me up like this... and trick you into signing me."" "That's not at all the truth." "I had nothing to do with this." "What do you mean you had nothing to do with it?" "All I did was tell you about a phenomenal basketball player, and what did you do?" "You set up the tryouts, you negotiated the contract, you brokered the deal, baby." "You kind of created me." "You're Frankenstein." "Oh, God." "No, no, no." "No, this is crazy." " No one's gonna believe you're a woman." " You did." " This is blackmail." " No, it's not." "This is black fe-male." " That's not funny." " What do you expect me to do?" "Basketball is the only thing I really know how to do." "And I have to make a living." "So until you figure out how to get me back with my team... you can just look for me in the women's locker room, baby." "The women's locker room, checking out booties." "Checking out booties." " Basketball booties." " Jamal." "I thought we were friends." "Oh." "Now, see, there's a problem." "You're not my friend, Lorne." "Remember?" "[High Voice] You're my agent." "Thanks to you, Lorne, I'm gonna be a Charlotte Banshee." "You're better than Jerry Maguire." "Somebody kill me!" " Y'all ready for this?" "#[Techno]" " Who's ready to play?" "Who's ready to win?" " [All] Banshees!" " Ban..." " Shees!" " Ban..." " Shees!" "[Screeching]" "[Announcer] Banshees.!" "[Man] It's the opening game of the WUBA season." "Hi." "Welcome inside the Charlotte Coliseum." "Along with Jeanne Zelasko, I'm Chris Myers." "We have a terrific match up for you today." "The Charlotte Banshees hosting the two-time defending champion, Houston Gallop." "With all-stars in the lineup like Michelle Langford and Natalie Kemper... you have to believe the Banshees have a great shot at beating the Gallop." "Jamal." "[Coughing]" " Jamal. [Coughing] - [Whistling]" " Juwanna." " Lorne." "[Announcer] Ladies and gentlemen, please rise... for the singing of our national anthem." "Singing for us today is multi-platinum recording artist, Romeo." "# Oh, say #" "# Can you see #" "# By the dawn's #" "# Early light #" "You don't understand how excited I am." "My very first game." "I saw television cameras." "Did you know this game is being televised?" "I sure did, and I'm still trying to figure out what's my best side." " Here or my ass." " I think..." "#At the twilight's #" "# Last gleaming #" " Promise me you'll try to fit in." " I will try to fit in." "All right." "There is no dunking in this league." "I won't dunk." "I promise." "Relax." "It's not like I need to anyway." "I got to go." "Now, keep your head up." "Yeah." "Keep your boobs up." "For you." " For my baby." " How sweet." " See you after the game?" " No doubt, baby." "That boy drop more shit than the bunny rabbit on Ex-Lax." "But she's so blind she can't see past his great, big ol' walking stick." "Ain't that right, girl?" " What's up, player?" " What's up, player player?" "Give me some, player." "What's the deal, baby?" "I'm just a squirrel in your world." "I see you're doing your thing." " You're looking at something." " Man, hot dogs and hamburgers, man." "She's all that and a baseball bat and a hot wheel track." "I'm telling you, brown sugar like D'Angelo." "# Brown Sugar # That's what he was talking about... right there." "Oh!" "She gonna block me out, huh?" "She with it though." " I know she with it." "Yeah, baby." "Drop it like it's hot." "All right!" "Yeah!" "That's all right, girl.!" "We get it next time, Natalie.!" "Hit." "Two shots." "Yeah, that's a nice girl there." "She a little naive though." "Foreigner." "Here on a visa from Oklahoma." "She gonna be a city girl before long." "She rooming with Sanchez." "That little hot tamale over there." "That girl get around." "Really?" "How awful." "Awful." "[Latisha] Block out, Magda.!" "With that big-ass head, she could block out the sun." "I said block out, you Serbian knucklehead!" " Way to go!" " So, what's your story?" "Me?" "I like to keep it simple." "You give me a good book and a good bitch, I'm straight." "I like you." "[Rivers] Yes, Natalie.!" "Way to get in there.!" "[Crowd Gasping]" "Time out!" " Come on, Natalie!" " All right, Natalie!" "All right, hotshot." " Let's see what you got." " All right, Coach." "Now you're coaching." "[Myers] There has been a substitution, and the new player is number 22." "[Zelasko] Chris, that is Juwanna Mann." " Yo, you see that?" " That deserves a "wow."" "[Both] Wrong." "Na-na-na-na." "Beer and a popcorn." "It's all right." "Okay." "The ball is stolen away." "What a move." "No!" "No!" "No!" "Pass the ball!" "Don't dunk!" "The 360." "Another amazing shot." "Ain't nothing sexier than a woman with ball control." "All right!" "Yes!" "Pass the ball!" "Pass the ball!" " Here I go.!" "Here I go.!" "You ready?" " Ball!" "Ball!" "It's mine!" "Mine!" "22, Offense." "22, hit." "Technical right here." "If y'all hadn't been playing like a bunch of little girls." "Coach, that girl has got to go." "You know she's the reason we lost the game." " She wouldn't even let the ground touch the ball." " I understand your frustration." "The woman has definitely got problems." "You got that right." "Her number-one problem is I'm not playing with her." "You're gonna have to." "We just got Natalie's MRI back." "She tore her ACL." "She's out for the rest of the season." "And I'm making Juwanna her replacement." "What?" "But she's nothing but a ball hog, Coach." "You're gonna talk to me about ball hog, "Miss I Got Game, I'm All That"?" " I wasn't as bad as her." " Michelle, you need to step up." "You're captain of this team, and I'm expecting you to help me turn this woman around." "I'm in a messy situation." "I'm stuck, and, basically, we have no choice." "That was quite a performance you had out there today." "What, 15 points in the second half alone." "It was, but it would've been 16 if y'all would have just picked up the pace." "Listen to me." "I know I'm not the captain of this team yet." "But you guys wanna win, you're gonna have to find a way to get me the ball." " What?" " I can't pass the thing to myself." "I probably could if I worked at it, but we're supposed to be a team." " Teamwork." "Just what we need to talk about." " That's right." "Forget it." "Look." "You know, I'd love to work with you on your game, if you're up to it." "Go over the playbook with you... make sure you understand how the Banshees..." "How you gonna work with me on my game when my game doesn't need any work?" "Didn't you see it?" "But I'll be more than happy to help you with a few pointers on your game." "I'll be really happy to do that..." "Oh, my God." "Lord, what are you doing?" "Taking a shower, Einstein." "Aren't you?" "Hell, yes, I'll take a shower with..." "shower soon as I get home." "I got to do it as soon as I get home." "I really can't take showers in public." "Things crawl up in you and you never find them." "Whatever." "Boy, I love this league." "What part of "don't draw attention to yourself' did you not understand?" "Lorne, I'm sorry." "They were screaming and cheering for a brother... a sister." "What was I supposed to do?" "Play like a bitch?" "Yes, play like a woman." "That was your plan." " Calm down." "Chill out, man." " You're right." "I got to calm down." "I'm overreacting." "Absolutely." "I'm not used to going to a game and praying that my client's boobs don't fall out!" "You keep this up, I'm gonna be booking clowns at birthday parties." "That's your problem." "My problem is I need a shower." "I sweat more as a woman." "Jamal, please." "I'm fairly certain I can get you an arbitration hearing." "But until then, I need you to keep a low profile." "That's all." " Okay." " Can you do that?" "I can do that, Lorne." "I'll keep a low profile." "I promise." "Damn, you're gonna have a heart attack if you keep that shit up." " Yeah." " I'm telling you." "Bye-bye, Lorne." "What a snake." "I knew it." "[Latisha] Holler at ya." "[Juwanna] I'll holler at you too." " Hold up, little girl." "Let me tell you something." " Ooh!" "You are one tall glass of water... and I'm telling you "scraight" up, I'm thirsty." " What in the hell are you?" " You don't know who I am, do you?" " No, I don't." "Who are you?" " I am Puff Smokey Smoke." "You wanna kiss it, don't you?" "That's right." "Uh-huh." "Rap extraordinaire." "I also sang background on Romeo's last album..." ""Where There's Smoke There's Firestone."" "#Watch the Firestone tires #" "Oh, really?" "Well, you can sing backup for me right now." "Just back right on up." "Thank you very much, Mr. Puffer, but I have to go." "Drive careful now, baby... 'cause you are definitely precious cargo." "[Blows Whistle]" "You ready?" "You ready?" "Pass the ball." "Juwanna!" "[Blows Whistle] Juwanna." "What the hell are you doing?" "Well, I'm sweating." "I'm breaking down the defense." "I'm wearing these chumps out, making all the shots." "Take your pick." "You know what?" "Practice is over." "Michelle, don't leave." "Stick around." "This is about you and Juwanna." "Listen, missy." "I want you to take a look up here and tell me what you see." "What I see are a bunch of empty bleaches that I'm about to help you fill." " That's what I see." " Very funny." "You're a funny lady." "I see a sign that says the Charlotte Banshees." "My eyes are fine, Coach." "Because it says the Charlotte Banshees... and not the Charlotte Ju-wanna." "And if the Charlotte Banshees are gonna have any chance of winning this season..." "I have to get my two strongest players here to try and work together." "Otherwise, we're screwed." "So, you're gonna play with Michelle here... one-on-one... and one-on-one and one-on-one and one-on-one." "Hey, how about one-on-one?" "Until you start to get with the program." "You got it?" "Yeah, I got it, Coach." "Mm!" " You ready for this?" " What you got?" "Come on." " You're gonna need a pen and paper." " That's all right." "Come on." " Are you ready?" " What you got?" "Ooh!" "Boom!" "Sorry about that." "Oh!" "Now, that's what I call an ass-ist." "Ha ha." "Ooh!" "Boom!" "That's game." "You really think you're something, don't you?" "Well, I got it going on." "What can I say?" "Born with it." "Here we go." "The jokes." "Look, Juwanna... this might be a joke to you, but it's not to me." "You got some big balls, don't you, girl?" "Yeah, yeah, but all your arrogance and all of that showboatin'... that doesn't scare me, 'cause I know it's just a cover." "Because underneath, you don't trust anybody but yourself, girl." "And that's exactly where you gonna end up, by yourself... if you don't start to trust your team." "And we'll be right back with more of Oprah." "Are you done?" "No." "Don't get me wrong." "You got mad skills." "You're good." "But one player can't win games by themselves." "We need teamwork." " So you think I got skills?" " Yeah." "I'd like to be able to do some of them moves I saw you do." " Wrap around." " I'd sure like to show you some of them moves." " What?" " I sure could show you some of those moves." " It's real easy." " Good." "See, now we talking." "I have never seen anybody pick up some moves quicker than you." "I have never seen anybody pick up some moves quicker than you." " You were storming'." " Well, you know." "You know." " Romeo!" "Hey!" " What's up, girl?" "What you doing?" "I couldn't roll through Atlanta without my baby." " Juwanna, I got a ride." " All right." "Bye-bye." "Bye." "You have some trouble there, little lady?" "My door's just stuck." "You go right ahead." "I can handle this." " I don't want you to strain yourself." " That's what you get." "I guess you don't need no man's help after all." " No, I don't need a man, but thank you." " It's like that." "All right." "Hey, Juwanna, You wanna hang out tomorrow before our trip to New York?" " Oh, I'd love to." " Cool." " Just you and me, right?" " Yeah." " It's a date." " All right." "What's up, baby?" " See you later." " Bye." "I can't stand him." "Bam!" " I got a little surprise for you." " What is it?" "I love surprises." "You do?" "Good." "Because I have booked us for an entire day of beauty at the spa." "Spa?" "So relaxing." " I'm looking forward to this." " Mm-hmm." "I'm looking forward to it too." "I'm feeling relaxed already." "Hi." "Oh, yes." "Where did you leave your wings, you angel you?" "Oh, my God." "Lord." "Who are you?" "Slow it down now." "Oh!" " Ooh!" "Slow it down, sailor." " [Neck Cracks]" "Ooh, Lord." "Ow!" "Oh!" "Is there a medic?" "[Peeling]" "[Loud Peeling]" "Ooh!" "Thanks, Susie." "We'll see you next time." "Yes." "Bye, Susie." "So, how you feeling?" "Oh, Lord, girl, if I was any number, I think I'd be dead." "Get a good night's sleep." "We got that 7:00 a.m. flight in the morning to New York." "Don't worry about me." "My alarm's set, sweetie, right here." " Right here." " Good." " Was that your first time?" " First and last, sweetie." "[Snoring]" "#Shake ya ass Watch yourself #" "#Shake ya ass Show me what you're workin' with #" "#Shake ya ass, watch yourself #" " Oh, no." "#Shake ya ass #" "#I came in with the mic in my hand #" "#Don't make me leave with my foot in your..." "Be cool #" "#Don't worry about how I'm rippin' it ##" "[Siren Blaring]" "Oh, Lord." "Oh, Lord." "No, I don't need this." "And he's white." "Okay, I can do this." "I can do this." "Morning, Officer." "Nice morning, isn't it?" "Sun shining'." "Birds a-chirpin'." "Anybody tell you you look like Mel Gibson?" "Do you have any idea how fast you were going, ma'am?" "Well, see, actually, Officer, my speedometer is broken on this car." "And I was looking at it, but..." "How fast was I going?" " I clocked you at 50." " Is that a little too fast?" " I'm gonna have to see your license." " Oh, Lord." "You really think we need to go that far?" "I'm not even sure if it's in this car." "I might have left it in my other car." "It's a Benz." "Well, you better have it or I'm gonna have to impound this car..." " And you and I are going for a little ride." " Where we going?" "Here it is right here." "You know, Whitney Houston's my cousin." "Jamal Jeffries." "Who's Jamal Jeffries?" " That's me, Officer." " That's you?" " Uh-huh." " You expect me to believe that?" "Well, it's true." "You see, the thing is..." "I'm not armed." "I just recently had a little operation." "You mean, one of those operations where you..." " Uh-huh." " So, you no longer have your..." " Uh-uh." " And now you have a..." "Yes." " Get out of the car." " Excuse me?" " What is the problem?" " Out of the car." "Come on." " Is there a problem, Officer?" " Step away from the vehicle." " Away from the vehicle." " I'm not gonna have to spread any eagles?" "Come on." "Spin around." " All right." "How about this?" " All the way." "You look fabulous." "I'm having it done too." "I'm only about a thousand dollars away right now." "Who did you?" "Well, whoever it was, they did a great job." "I got my post-op outfit all ready and waiting, hanging in my closet." " It's got little ruffles on top." " Excuse me." "Thank you very much." "Officer, trust me." "I believe you're gonna look great when you get it done." " But I'm really in a hurry." "I really need to go." " Just forget the ticket." " Well, thank you." "Thank you so much." " No, not at all." " You're gonna look great." " You think so?" " I know so." "Turn to the side." "You're gonna look great." " You think so?" "Yes." "Make sure they get those nose hairs, especially on the left side." "You're gonna look great." "Thank you very much, Officer." "You have a good day." "Juwanna, they're double-teaming you every time." "If you don't start letting go of the ball, I'm gonna sit your ass down." " All right." "Banshees on three." "One, two, three." " [All] Banshees!" "Juwanna, remember what we was working on back home?" "Not now." "I'm in a zone, okay?" "Pass the ball." "Pass the ball." "Pass the ball.!" " Pass the ball!" " Pass the ball!" " You ready to play?" "You ready?" " Juwanna!" "Move back!" "Move back!" "Yeah!" "That's what I'm talking about." "Nice job, Juwanna!" "Way to pass that down, baby." "You my dog!" "You my dog!" "#Isn't she lovely #" "[Crowd Booing]" "#Isn't she wonderful #" " Great shot." "Way to make a move to the basket, baby!" "#Isn't she precious #" "#Less than one minute old #" "Great shot." "Great shot." "#I never thought #" "# Through love we'd be #" "#Making one as lovely as she #" "#Isn't she lovely #" "#Made from love #" "Great shot, Magda." "Good shot." "All right, get in here." "Listen up, ladies." "We're gonna run green, penetrate left." "Squeeze." "A little breakdown, go right... and squeeze." "Let's win this thing." "On three." "One, two, three!" "#Isn't she lovely #" "#Made from love #" "#Isn't she pretty #" "# Truly the angel's best #" " Whoo!" "#I can't believe #" "# What God has done ##" "Ladies, listen up." "I got a couple of things to say here." "First of all, uh... you guys played one hell of a game tonight." "I hope there's plenty more where that came from." "For those of you who are new to the Banshees, we have a little tradition." " After every victory..." "[Women Cheering]" "That's right... we give away a game ball, and tonight it should come as no surprise... that the ball goes to..." "Juwanna Mann." "Yeah.!" "Good game, Juwanna.!" " Hey, Juwanna, kick it out." "I'm open." "[Women Laughing]" "Thank you, guys." "I really do appreciate it." "Oh, look at her getting all misty up in here." "I really do." "I mean it." "But I think that since Magda actually made the winning shot..." "I think I should share this with her." "You share ball with me?" "Oh, thank you, Juwanna." "Thank you." " Oh, no, you don't have to..." " Thank you." "Thank you." "Precious time." "Let's shower up and get the hell out of here." "Good job, ladies." "Nice work there." "It's just superstition." "Never take it off after a win." "Never take it off." "You was really getting your game on tonight, Juwanna." "I have a feeling that we're gonna have a really good season this year." "Oh, yes, we are." "Whoa!" "Look at you." "Isn't this cute?" "I got it at Victoria's Secret." "Mm-hmm." "Whew." "Well, the secret's out." "It's just perfect for the road, you know?" "You can just keep it comfy and simple." "Mm-hmm." "Comfy and simple." "Damn." "I am so sore tonight." " Really?" " Would you mind rubbing a bit of this on my shoulders?" "Oh!" "Mm-hmm." " I'll be more than happy to." "Yeah." " Thank you, girl." " Yes." "All right." "We can do that for each other." " Thank you." "We was really balling tonight, huh?" " Mm-hmm." " Such teamwork." "Mm-hmm." "Ooh." "That feels good." "Yes, that was one... velvety smooth game." "I just get so stiff sometimes after the game." "Do you?" " I'm starting to." " Hmm?" "I'm starting to get stiff right here." "Right there." " It's catching up with you?" " Mm-hmm." " Thanks, girl." "I appreciate it." " My pleasure." " You want me to put a little bit on you?" " Where?" "No." "I'm fine." "I'm just cool." "I'll just sit here and hit the old hay." "Good night, Mr. Romeo." "You just so fine." " Don't leave home without him, huh?" " You got that right." "He goes wherever I go." "You think Romeo takes your picture when he goes on the road?" "Hell, I'm sure of it." "I glued it to the inside of his suitcase." "I'm just saying, uh, I know Romeo's a man... and I do know men, if you know what I mean." "All I'm saying is, girl, I trust my man." "Do you love him?" "Look, Juwanna, I've never not had someone, and... even with the doubts, which I'm not gonna lie, there are some... it's better than being alone." "I'm not so sure about that, Michelle." "[Jamal] Oh, wow." "Look at these tomatoes." "They're looking good, Aunt Ruby." "Uh-huh." "Hey, baby, how did it go?" "It went great, Aunt Ruby." "The game was off the hook." "I was off the hook." "They gave me the game ball." "And, Aunt Ruby..." "I really think Michelle and I..." "we're getting tight." "Oh!" "You like her, do you?" "Yeah, yeah." "Yeah, I think I do." " And she likes you?" " Well, she will." "I just got to keep working it." "She just starting to get into me." " Get into you." " Yep." "Have you lost your mind?" " What?" " You a man posing as a woman." "She don't want you." "She wants a girlfriend." "The second she find out you got a extra piece of equipment between your legs... what you think she gonna do?" "Juwanna, I have been looking all over for you." "We've got a table right over there." "What's the matter?" "You don't like my outfit, huh?" "I told my girl this Pebbles do..." " [Muttering]" " No, no, no, no, no." " What?" " It's just..." "You look so beautiful tonight." "Thank you, Juwanna." "How sweet." "What do you mean, "Thank you"?" "What ever happened to "Same to you"?" "Oh." "I'm sorry, girl." "Same to you." "You looking good, girl." " That's what I thought." " Puff gonna love you in that dress." " What? "Puff'?" "I don't smoke." " Puff." "You remember." "Over there." "Romeo's friend?" " You remember him." "Look." " Oh, my Lord." "You did not just set me on a date with that Carolina river cricket." " I thought I was doing you a favor." " You call that a favor?" " He really likes you, girl." " He can start liking somebody else." " I'm up out of here." " Juwanna, please don't leave." "I promised to Romeo that I'd hook you guys up... and it would really mean a lot to me if you would stay." "Please." "For me?" " Be nice." "I found her." " I'm gonna try my best." " How you doing, Juwanna?" " How are you, Mr. Romeo?" "Well, well, well." " If it isn't Juwanna Mann." " How you doing, little Puffy?" "All good." "I have to admit you are looking so hot tonight." "Sss!" "Whew!" " Thank you." " Let me "ax" you something." " What do you wanna "ax" me?" " Did it hurt?" " Did what hurt?" " When you... fell from heaven." "Hallelujah!" "It's called the bird." "Watch the wings." "[Clearing Throat]" "Let's have a seat." "Let's have a good evening, huh?" "I got the chair." "Sit on..." "Good evening, folks." "Would you like to hear the specials?" "Don't wanna hear any specials." "Just get me a Cosmos, heavy on the vodka... and just keep pouring 'em and pouring 'em till your arms get tired." " I'll have a glass of champagne, sir." "[Romeo] Hold up." "Hold up." "My man, bring a bottle of your best champagne for the table." "Yeah, yeah, bet that." "And some "scrawberries" and some "scrimp"cocktail." "Have we decided on dinner or do you need some more time?" " Don't need any more time." " Ah, ah, ah." "Stymie that." "That's when you going country." "# Country got you crazy #" "[Imitating Fiddle]" "O-7-3-5-7!" "The young lady wants a fil-let mig-non." "You know, little hunk of meat, little pink on the inside." "# Fil-let mig-non #" "# How do you like it How do you like it #" "[Michelle] I'll have the, uh..." " [Screams]" " I'll have the snapper." " Girl, you on fire tonight." "I like it though." "I like it like that." " I'm gonna run off to the little ladies' room." " I'd better go with you." "No, no, no." " Well, the restroom's right back there." " I can do this." "[Groaning]" "[Sighing]" "[Belches]" "[Belches, Farts]" "You know, that could be us out there, right?" " Hey, hey, hey!" " [Glass Breaking]" "Back your ass up." "Yo, Puff, let me holler at you for a second." "Yo, check it out." "Take the keys." "Take my car." "Look like I'm gonna be kickin' it here." "You kids be safe, if you know what I mean." "[Both] Funk." "Nice crib, young lady." " You mind if I got something to drink?" " I ran out." " How about if I use your bathroom?" " It's broken." "I'm mighty tired." "You mind if I crash on the couch?" "Don't have one." " You mind if I use the phone?" " Listen to me." "My line's dead." "Just cut the crap." "You're not getting into my house." "You don't need to come into my house." "You don't need to use the bathroom." "You can't sleep on my couch." "I don't need you to checking for any burglars." "And I don't have any aspirins for your fake headache." "I'll tell you what." "You're not getting inside of me or my house." "So you and little Puffy can just get to steppin'." "Get to steppin'." " How about a little kiss?" " I ain't giving you no little..." "Eew!" "Giving you no little kiss." "All right, then, good night." "But you know I could use a little sugar." "L..." "That's what you can use." "That's exactly what you can use." "Well, I guess no means no." "You're just a big ol' man." "Now give me a big ol' hug." "Go right on over there." "Now, what is your name?" "Jerry, you're gonna get one "To My Friend Jerry." There you are." "Juwanna Mann." "What's up?" "Oh, my God." "Aren't you getting dizzy?" "#We rock the house tonight #" "#The Banshees #" "#We'll have a good ol' time #" "#The Banshees #" "# It feels right The Banshees #" "[Screeching]" "We ain't been here six hours and already you got some meat sending you flowers." "You move that fast on the court, you'd be league MVP about now." "Are you two done?" "'Cause they're not even for me." "They're for Miss Juwanna." "[All] Ooh.!" "Give 'em here before you wilt 'em." "Let's just see who they from." "Can I read my own card, Lizard?" "Let's see now." ""Roses are red, violets are not..." ""I can't wait to see what you've got." "Love, Puff Smokey Smoke."" "# He your baby's daddy He your baby's daddy #" "He's your mother's sister." "Oh, Juwanna." "Oh, please." "Trust me." "Puffy's not my type." "Anybody who sends me roses is definitely my type." "Hell, bitch, someone passes you the salt, he's your type." "Lizard, that's cold." "I'm gonna tell you ladies what my type is." "Somebody who sends you flowers for no reason at all." "You know?" "Just because it's Wednesday or whatever." "And that's special." "Yeah." " That's the kind of guy you hold on to." " Well, you know what I like?" "I like it when a man tells you... you're the most beautiful girl in the world." "Aw, girl." " Oh, Lord." "I hate to burst your bubble, Mother Teresa... but a man would tell you anything to tap that ass." "[Michelle] You got that right." "I'm gonna let you guys in on a little secret." "It's not that I'm easy or anything." "It's just you got to trust me on this." "The key to men is breaking through that little code they have... that little double-talk." "And what about when they take a baby girl out to dinner... talk about you can eat whatever you want, money's no object?" "All that means is, if I'm spending this kind of money on your gut... when I get home, I want some of baby girl's..." "That's all that is." "And y'all all know the Mack Daddy line of them all." "Now, say it with me." ""I promise, baby..." "I will call you tomorrow."" " Amen, girl!" " Hallelujah!" "And what about when some men like to brag about the size of their manhood?" "When we know it ain't the size of the boat, baby, but the motion of the ocean." "Can I get a "hallelujah"?" "Can't get a "hallelujah"?" "What you talking about, Juwanna?" "The size of the boat don't matter." " I want the Titanic." " You got that right!" "All right, ladies, listen up." "No practice today." "Cool!" "All right!" "The team has a new insurance policy... so each one of you needs to take a new physical." "[Michelle] Come on, y'all." "Let's go knock this out real quick." "Juwanna Mann?" "When was your last period?" "My last period." "Okay, I had a game three days ago... and I played the whole game." " So two periods." " Oh, no, no." "You crack me up." "No, be serious." "Your menstrual period." "Oh." "Oh." "Um..." "Um..." "Menstruation period." "Let's see here." "Last Thursday." "Yes, I think I unplugged last Thursday." "And any signs of gonorrhea, syphilis or chlamydia?" " Don't have any sisters." "Am I done yet, Doc?" " No, no, no." "I need for you to disrobe, and I'll step right outside... and I'll be back in just a few minutes." "Excuse me." "You want me to take off everything?" "Every little stitch." "Miss Mann." " Everything all right in there?" " I'll be right there, Doc." "Miss Mann." "I'm coming in, Miss Mann." "Bam!" "I must be in the wrong locker room." "You can't go in there." "Mr. Daniels is a very busy man." "Who do you think you are?" "Oh." "Betty, it's okay." "It's fine." "Thank you." "Thank you very much, Betty." "Thank you, Betty." "Wow." "A third career." "Where the hell do you find the time?" "I'm telling you right now." "I'm through." "I'm finished with this." "I'm out." " I'm getting out." " Okay, all right." "Have you checked with Juwanna on that?" "I don't need to ask Juwanna." "I am Juwanna." "I just left a doctor who was about five minutes away... from a handful of Juwanna's nuts." "All right." "I just thought you might wanna run it by her... because, well, considering all the offers I've been flooded with." "I don't think you're hearing me." "What do you mean, "offers"?" "Reebok, Coca-Cola, Sports Illustrated for Women." "Yeah, it turns out that Juwanna... is every advertiser's dream come true." "She's easy to get along with... considerate of others, a real team player... pretty much everything you're not." "So, really, all you have to do is jump on board... with any one of these advertisers... you'll be making more money as Juwanna than you ever dreamed of as Jamal." "You're not getting it." "You're just not getting it." "I don't care about all that anymore." "Listen." "I did this for one reason, and I did it for one reason only." "I did it so Jamal Jeffries can get back into pro ball, man." "I wanna be back with my team, and that was it." "That's it." "Then I'll tell you that the network is pressuring the commissioner... and you're probably gonna get another hearing." "In the meantime, you might consider taking advantage of the Juwanna train... while the railroad is still in business." "You might wanna stop worrying about Juwanna so much... and worry about Lorne, 'cause this is about saving your career too." "Romeo." "My baby sleeping." "[Woman Giggling]" " Romeo?" " That's my name, baby." "That's my name." " Romeo?" "Hold on, baby." "I'm almost finished." "Romeo!" "Who are you in my bed?" "What are you doing in my house?" "Baby, hold up." "It ain't me." "Groupies." "[Phone Rings]" "[Regular Voice] Hel..." " [High Voice] Hello." " Juwanna, it's Michelle." " I need to talk to you." " Girl, why are you crying?" "I knew you wanted me." "I knew it was just a matter of time, baby." "What you want?" "Six, five, four... three, two, one." "Happy New Year!" "You see that, Michelle?" "Being alone doesn't mean you have to be lonely." "Juwanna, how come I couldn't see what Romeo was doing behind my back?" "It was probably the glare off Puff Smokey's teeth." "I know." "I know." " It hurts like crazy now, sweetheart." " Bad." "But you trust me." "You are so much better off." "I just hate being wrong." "Don't you go blaming yourself for this." "No, you don't." "You don't blame yourself for that low-down dirty snake." "Sweetheart, some men just don't realize what they've got till it's gone." "Now, you trust me." "One day he's gonna know." "Thanks." "Juwanna, you are such a good friend." "That's why I like you, 'cause you just keep it real." "You know?" "No perpetrating with you." "You're just you." " Actually, Michelle, there's something..." " And you know what else?" "I'm gonna quit all of this crying and trippin'... and I'm just gonna move on." " That's it." "Move right on." " Yeah." "Let's have some more wine." "Michelle, I really need to tell you something." "I'm really hoping the playoffs can take my mind offi of things... 'cause you and the team are all that I plan on focusing on right now." "'Cause we got a really good chance of winning the championship this year." "Especially now, since we got you, dog." "[Sighs]" "Jamal." "Okay, it's all set." "Between the network, the players' union and my shameless groveling... we got you a meeting with the commissioner." " That's great." "What do I have to do?" " Just show up, be polite, smile." "Let me do all the talking, pretty much like I'm doing now..." " And you're back in the league." " Sounds good to me." "When is it?" " Tomorrow, 3:00." " Wait a minute, Lorne." "You know I can't make that." "The Banshees start the playoffs tomorrow." "Well, you know what?" "How about if my office tapes the game for you?" "Yeah, but they're expecting Juwanna to play." "And I'm expecting Juwanna to disappear." "We got a deal here." "What am I busting my ass for?" "Come on now." "Understand, will you?" "There's a lot of people involved." "Yeah, Lorne, including Juwanna." "There are a lot of people counting on Juwanna too." "Jamal." "You're scaring me now with this." "I just need a minute, Lorne." "[Myers] The fans are filing in with great anticipation... as the Charlotte Banshees prepare to host game one... of their WUBA playoff series against the Houston Gallop." "Yo, has anybody seen Juwanna?" "Jeanne, this should really be an exciting playoff series." "You're right, Chris." "Even though these two teams are pretty evenly matched... most people expect the Banshees to win the series." "But in order to do that, they're gonna need a huge performance... by their star player, Juwanna Mann." "And we're gonna find out for real when they tip it off in just about 30 minutes." "[Phone Rings]" " Hello." " [Jamal] Hey, look." "It's me." "Can we, uh..." "Can we reschedule the meeting?" "No, we don't." "We're not rescheduling the meeting." "Let me make this real clear for you." "You're not here in five minutes, you're not gonna play in the league ever again." "This is it." "You understand me?" "Oh, really?" "Yeah, I understand." "That was him." "He's on his way." "Nothing to worry about, Mr. Commissioner." "What's it gonna be, boy?" "You got to go somewhere." "[Announcer] And now introducing the starting lineup... for your Charlotte Banshees.!" "[Whistling]" " I tried calling her." " I don't believe this." " Where she at?" " I don't know." "You know what it is I'm thinking?" "Traffic." "Yeah, it's, uh..." "It's always..." "Down, you know, here it's bad." "Number 22..." "Juwanna Mann.!" "Hey." "Where you been?" "I had a friend that had some problems." " Now let's kick some butt." " All right." "Let's do this." "Come on." "Let's get in here." "Huddle up." "I guess some things never change." "No, you're wrong about that." "The moment we've been waiting for is finally here." "We are underway." "Ball." "Go, girls!" "Yeah!" "I've lost my mind!" " Way to go, Michelle." " Good pass, baby." "Good pass." " Right here, baby." "Right here." " Move!" "Move!" "Move!" "Things remain tight here." "The Gallop and the Banshees are playing equally so far." "They've been trading basket for basket, yet the Gallop holding a slim lead for the moment." "It's been that kind of game, but we should have a wild finish." "Juwanna Mann!" "Juwanna Mann!" "With just nine seconds left, the Banshees are down by one." "There's the steal." "The ball is stolen by Juwanna Mann." "Look at Juwanna Mann go." "Could Juwanna Mann possibly slam-dunk this ball?" "Yes!" "Yes!" "Whoo-hoo-hoo.!" "Whoo-hoo.!" "Yes!" "Yes." "[Myers] I can't believe what I'm seeing here." "It's Jamal Jeffries." "And that's your play of the day." "[Crowd Ahhing]" "It don't make me no difference." "I still love you, Juwanna Mann." "I love you, Juwanna Mann!" "Juwanna Mann.!" "I love you, even though I guess..." "You're still a man." "I'm..." "Does that make me a man?" "Juwanna!" "Juwanna.!" "The hell is happening to me?" "Hold on, Michelle." "I can explain, all right?" "Just give me a minute." "Michelle." "Damn." "In perhaps the most bizarre sports story ever... women's pro basketball star, Juwanna Mann... has turned out to be exactly what her name implies... a man." "He a sicko." "Straight-up sicko." "No comment." "Excuse me." "No comment." "Excuse me." "In my country, penis okay." "My mother have penis." "The WUBA's Charlotte Banshees have fired Jamal Jeffiries for posing as a woman." "The WUBA's Charlotte Banshees have fired Jamal Jeffiries for posing as a woman." "The odd thing is, Jeffiries is known for being a big playboy." "The team said they became suspicious when they caught him hitting on himself." "In fact..." "In fact, he could..." "Since the opening tip, the Charlotte Banshees really have been struggling." "They have not looked very smooth offensively here." "Jamal, Jamal, Jamal." "I see you moping around." "I see you down in the dumps." "I also see you ain't been using no plates in this room." "[Laughing]" "You got yourself quite a mess here." "I'll clean it up." "I'm not talking about this mess." "I'm talking about that mess." "Sit up." "Scoot over." "It's no sense in crying over spilt milk" "Best thing to do is start looking for a paper towel." "You hear me?" "Huh?" " Next." " Damn." "[Myers] It appears the Banshee fans are just as disheartened as the players." "[Zelasko] Well, Chris, I would absolutely have to agree with you." "And unlike the Gallop, this Phoenix Web team, they have a lot of game." "The Banshees need to turn this around now." "Otherwise, they are gonna get blown out and they will not advance to the finals." "Brought my A-game today." "[Women Shouting]" "[Rivers] Let's pick it up, guys." "Can you handle that?" "Second half." "That's what I wanna see." "What's the matter with you guys?" "Huh?" "Coach, face it." "We're never gonna get to the championship without Jamal." "That's not true." "What you doing here?" "This is the ladies' locker room, perv." "I just wanna talk to you guys, all right?" " Oh, please." " You ain't got nothing to say." "[Rivers] All right, ladies, hold up." "I think we're letting Mr. Jeffiries offi a little easy by throwing him out." "Let's listen to what he has to say." "I think we all wanna hear this." "Guys, look, uh..." "I messed up, all right?" "What I did it was... it was wrong, it was selfish... and I'm..." "I'm truly sorry." "When I first got here, I got to tell you..." "I thought women's basketball was a big joke." "Hell, I thought anything that wasn't about Jamal Jeffiries was a big joke." "Turns out the joke was on me." "That's because I thought that the most important thing about basketball... was being a star." "That's until you guys taught me the only way to truly shine... was to be a part of a team." "So if you guys wanna hate me... and Lord knows I understand you if you do." "But you're gonna have to hate me after the game... because you guys never needed me to win this... and you don't need me now." "I needed you." "So come on." "Go win it." "And, Latisha." "Your game is on." "Keep an eye out for Magda." "She's getting open in the post." "[Myers] I don't know what happened in that locker room at halftime... but the Banshee team is playing with tremendous emotion." "Somehow they've been rejuvenated." " Well, Chris, you're right." "This is like a completely different team." "What an amazing turnaround." "Don't look now, but the Banshees might actually get to the big show." "[Cheering, Shouting]" "We're winners!" "[Thinking] Dear Michelle..." "Just 'cause it's Wednesday." "The fans deserve to have a true basketball star... and a future role model finish his career on top." "Please believe me when I tell you that Mr. Jeffiries is a changed man." "And I say that, not only as his agent... but as his friend too." "Mr. Jeffiries, after hearing the very sincere... and impassioned plea from your representative..." "I must say that I am still left rather unimpressed." "You have not only disgraced our men's pro league... but the women's pro league as well." "This is a closed hearing." "With all due respect, sir, and on behalf of the Charlotte Banshees... we in no way feel that Jamal Jeffries has disgraced our league." "Without a doubt, he may have disgraced himself... and he is certainly paying the price for that." " But we forgive him." " No doubt, no doubt." "We feel that you should too." "We want you to have this, Jamal." "I'm convinced." "I think they've made their point." "We out of here, y'all." "[Announcer] And now, returning for his second year at starting guard... the only man who has played in both the men's... and women's professional basketball leagues..." "North Carolina's own..." "Jamal Jeffiries.!" " Hey, you, you!" " What, man?" "That's not a keg." "You know how much this stupid thing costs?" "What does it matter to you?" "The bank owns it now anyway." "The bank?" "The bank owns this?" " Yeah." " Oh, really?" "The bank's got a dustpan in the kitchen." "Maybe you need to get that too." "What's up, baby?" "Yeah." "You look like an angel in this light." " Give it to me." " Mark." "[Karate Yells]" "Yo, man, what's up?" "I just saw you on the television, man." "That movie was the flyest." "You did like this." "You do it like this." "Oh, yeah." "You went like this." "I was like..." " Oh, you don't have to..." " Thank you." "Thank you." "Okay, Magda." "You done woke up Lil' Puff." "I'm gonna wrap it around it." "Watch this." " Hey, hey, hey!" " Riding it." "Ride it, cowboy!" "Rawhide!" "I like it rough." " Aunt Ruby..." "Aunt Ruby, please." " Mm-mmm." "Mm-mmm." " You got to get on the floor, boy." " Oh, shit." "So sorry." " Get your ass on that floor." " So sorry." "Do that walk I taught you." "Aw, shit." " Lorne, just feel them for me." " Why?" " I just want you to feel them." " Oh, man, those are good." "That looks good on you, baby." " Yes." "Yes." "Yes." " No." "Oh, my God." "Lorne, not you too." "##[Hip-Hop]" "#Joe Crack the Don, uh #" "#Irv Gotti # -# What's love #" "#Ashanti #" "# Terror, Terror Squad #" "#It should be about us It should be about trust #" "# What's love #" "# Got to do Got to do with it, babe #" "# What's love #" "#It's about us It's about trust, babe #" "# What's love #" "# Got to do Got to do with it, babe #" "# What's love #" "#It should be about us It should be about trust, babe #" "# What's love # -#Slow down, baby #" "#Let you know from the gate I don't go down, lady #" "#I want a chick with thick hips that licks her lips #" "#She can be the office type or like to strip #" "# Girl, you get me aroused how you look in my eye #" "#But you talk too much Man, you're ruining my high #" "#Don't wanna lose the feelin' 'cause the roof and ceiling'#" "#Is on fire and you lookin' good for the gettin'#" "#I'm a rider, whether in a hoody or a linen, a provider #" "# You should see the jewelry on my women #" "#And I'm livin'it up The Squad stay filling'the truck #" "# With chicks that's willin' to triz with us #" "# You say you got a man and you're in love #" "#But what's love got to do with a little menage #" "#After the party me and you #" "# Could just slide for a few and she could come too #" "# That's love # -# What's love #" "# Got to do Got to do with it, babe #" "# What's love #" "#It's about us It's about trust, babe #" "# What's love #" "# Got to do Got to do with it, babe #" "# What's love #" "#It should be about us It should be about trust, babe #" "#Mami, I know you got issues You got a man #" "#But you need to understand that you got something with you # #... is fat, frame is little #" "# Tattoo on your chest with his name in the middle #" "#I'm not a hater I just crush a lot #" "#And the way you shake your booty I don't want you to stop #" "# You need to come a little closer #" "#And let me put you under my arms like a don is supposed to #" "#Please believe you leave with me #" "# We be freakin'all night like we was on E #" "# You need to trust the god and jump in the car #" "#For a little hard aid at the Taj Mahal #" "# What's love #" "# Got to do Got to do with it, babe #" "# What's love #" "#It's about us It's about trust, babe #" "# What's love #" "# Got to do Got to do with it, babe #" "# What's love #" "#It should be about us It should be about trust, babe #" "# Yo, I stroll in the club with my hat down #" "#Michael Jack style # -#Hee-hee #" "#High-steppin' Who the Mack now #" "#Not my fault that they love the kid #" "#Might be the chain or the whip I don't know what it is #" "# We just party and bull... #" "# Come on, Mami put your body in motion #" "# You got... in the open #" "# You came here with the heart to cheat #" "#So you need to sing the song with me All my ladies come on #" "#From the look in your eyes there's no stoppin'me #" "#I want the thug Joey Crack on top of me #" "#Don't want your stacks I got your back #" "#Don't cut 'em no slack 'cause we on it like that #" "# Come on #" "#And put it on me #" "#Put it on ya, girl # -# On me #" "#I'm gonna put it on ya, girl #" "# What's love #" "# Got to do Got to do with it, babe #" "# What's love #" "#It's about us It's about trust, babe #" "# What's love #" "# Got to do Got to do with it, babe #" "# What's love #" "#It's about us It's about trust, babe #" "# What's love #" "# Got to do Got to do with it, babe #" "# What's love #" "# Got to do Got to do with it, babe #" "# What's love #" "#It should be about us It should be about trust, babe #" "# What's love ##"