"(GENTLE HARP MUSIC)" "Um... do you come here often?" "(MUSIC CONTINUES)" "Hey there, I couldn't be in the wrong place, could I?" "No, this is a disabled war veterans recreation centre, isn't it?" "Just..." "Oh, ridiculous." "Oh, what's the use?" "It never works out." "Who needs it?" "Do I need it?" "Every week I come here." "Every week, exactly the same thing." "You come looking for a little companionship, a little affection, even." "And what do you get?" "Speechless idiots, every single time." "Forget it." "Forget it." "There's nothing you can do." "I've seen it all." "Believe me." "Ah..." "Every single week I ask them," ""Couldn't you for once pair me up with somebody interesting?"" "And they smile that patronising smile and say," ""All you young fellows have something in common, haven't you?"" "And they always put me with somebody like you." "And I always ask, "Um..."" "I always put in the "um"." ""Um... do you come here often?"" "Then I pretend that I think I might be in the wrong place..." ""This is the disabled war veterans recreation centre, isn't it?"" "Ridiculous!" "I've had it." "I'm never coming here again, believe me." "Tendrils." "What?" "Tendrils." "Tendrils?" "Oh, God, you really must have had a rough time." "I've seen some pretty bad ones." "From the drain?" "No, Jesus!" "I hope you realise you're sitting at the drain end of the tub." " So?" " I advise you to put the plug in." "Why should I?" "They always turn the water off when the veterans visit the centre." "Don't you have a place to take a bath at home?" "Not keeping from going down the drain." "For keeping them from coming up." "What kind of things come up drains?" " I told you." " Tendrils?" "Do you mean like plants growing up?" "Like plants." "Like plants." "From this drain?" " From any drain." " Change places with me." "God, no, I didn't tell you to sit there, did I?" "You've been sitting at that end since you got here." "Now it's my turn." "(SQUEALS)" "What's the matter?" "Nothing." "Oh, never mind." "Just never mind." "I was only kidding." "I really didn't want to change places." "God forbid I should manage a little happiness for myself." "A little positive response from another human being." "Obviously you came out of the war in a lot worse shape than I did." "I shouldn't complain." "Oh, no." "Really, I shouldn't complain." "I'm clinically all right, there's nothing wrong with me." "You're all right like I'm all right." "No, seriously, there's absolutely nothing wrong with me." "What are you doing here then?" "I'm the centre's recreational programme director." "Seriously, my only purpose is to keep our boys... who have done such a fine job..." "amused and happy." " Really?" " Really." "Oh, Christ!" "That's disgusting!" "That's so bloody artificial." "Come here looking for a little genuine community of interest and what do they give you?" "A plastic playmate who tries to keep you amused by talking about plants growing out from drains." "Not plants." "I never said plants." "Just like plants is what I said." "Are you still sticking to that ridiculous..." "That reminds me, what time is it?" "Twenty to ten." "Why?" "Really?" "Do you like this thing wrapping around your ankles?" " Anything like that?" " What?" "No!" "What are you talking about?" "Are you the recreation director?" "Absolutely ridiculous!" "Never again!" "If I have to sit all alone in my room with my medals... that will do, believe me." "I don't have to come to this mad house." "I've got plenty I can do by myself." "Recreation director, my ass." " Wait..." " Oh..." " Did you hear that?" " Uh..." " A kind of scraping." " No." "I was in the Chemical and Biological Warfare Ministry during the war." "I know what I'm talking about." "I know how many mistakes, accidents, underestimations..." "Is this another one of your..." "I know how many strange deaths... how many strange creatures with heart and blood... (SCREAMS) Ah!" "There, in the drain, just below the filter valve." "I don't want to see!" "I'll be all right, just as long as I stay over here." "(LAUGHING)" "See that?" "See how scared you got when I pretended to play your game?" " Incredible!" " What are you talking about?" "Don't you understand?" "I am the new recreational programme director." " You've got to be kidding?" " Oh, no!" "Seriously." "You're going down the drain." "Come on, there's nothing to hurt you in there." "It's all in your head." "Nothing ever comes from the drain." "It always comes from the deep end of your mind." "I've been briefed about you and they asked me to do some work with you." "Really?" "Of course." "I've never been in the war myself." "Tell me honestly, do I look the type?" "Well..." "Seriously, tell me!" " You've got to change places with me." " No!" "Come on now, you're just reacting automatically." "I'm ringing the bell and you're the dog salivating in anticipation of a meal." "You better break out of that straight jacket you're in." "Come on, let's change places." "Just leave it." "I had to feel you out, see where you were in your mind before I could make a definite move to help you." "Now, come on." "That's it." "That's it." "Just sit down, take a peek at the drain." "There's nothing there to hurt you." "Soon it'll be all over." "For me." "That's it." "Go on." "(HARP MUSIC CONTINUES)"