"Car-ter!" "Bri-iggs!" "Hey!" "Looky what we got here, Carter." "Why am I being arrested!" "?" "Attempted hit and run." "Ah, Slammy Fenderben." "That's not my name!" "We know you work for Escobito, Sammy!" "Carter and Briggs!" "This is Commissioner Davis." "You two are loose cannons!" "Whatever, Commissioner Lame-is!" "Carter!" "Briggs!" "Next week on "Carter and Briggs"!" "Escobito~!" "You know what I like about this show?" "The realism." "And their custom 1985 police cruiser engineered for doing donuts." "Donuts for Show-Nuts!" "Best cop show evah!" "Would you like to meet Carter and Briggs?" "Yes!" "They'll be at Morton Horner Arena this weekend" "Judging the 8th Annual Donut Spinathon!" "Spin-a-thon!" "Donuts!" "We do donuts all the time!" "For Show-nuts!" "Whoever holds the longest spin will win!" "WIN!" "Win what?" "Win whaaat!" "?" "You and a friend could win" "A guest starring role on "Carter and Briggs"!" "Ah!" "Awesome!" "I think we should" "We gotta go" "You go first!" "Dude." "Dude..." "Duuude." "We gotta enter that contest!" "That's exactly what I was gonna say!" "Are we on the same level or what!" "Who-OOOOOOOOAH!" "And now it's time for "Crime She Typed"!" "Ooo!" "What's she going to type this time?" "Aw man!" "Dude..." "Maybe we're not as good at this as we thought..." "Yeah..." "Who do we know that's really good at spinning donuts?" "Muscle Man." "We need your help." "Can't you toolboxes say that I'm busy organizing my toolboxes?" "There's a donut-spinning contest, and we need to win!" "But donut sports are off-season." "But Carter and Briggs are holding it!" "What!" "?" "That show's for babies, bro!" "Come on!" "Without your help we can't-!" "But..." "I do love spinning donuts." "Your first lesson is tomorrow at dawn." "Why do we have to get up so early?" "I'm gonna need more coffee..." "Coffee is for people who don't have adrenaline!" "Yeah!" "Get some adrena-!" "My coffee~!" "Now listen up!" "Donuts are an ancient practice that probably started in some foreign country by old wizards, or something." "The number one rule" "Is to keep your turn radius small." "Turn radius?" "Keep your front wheel in this circle." "The smaller the radius, the longer you can hold the spin." "So let's get to work on your radius!" "Augh!" "I told you!" "Hold the turn radius!" "Now do it again!" "Hold it!" "Hold it!" "Master the radius." "The smaller the radius the longer you hold." "Good form, nice circle work and you cut your turn radius in half!" "Alright!" "Let's get it down to zero!" "Whoa!" "You wanna drive in a vortex, bro?" "Huh?" "Zero turning radius is only theoretical." "When you find that sweet spot:" "Infinite donuts!" "But you've gotta spin in a vortex." "It's too dangergous to attempt." "I think you guys are ready now." "Congratulations, losers." "Alright, fellas." "The cart is ready to go." "Got it all tuned up." "Refreshed the fluids filled her with special high octane fuel and installed extra bald, no friction tires." "With these babies, you'll be spinning donuts for days." "Thanks, Skips!" "Don't mention it." "Good luck out there." "Not so fast." "I heard all about your little contest." "There's no way I'll let you guys do it." "Wait, what?" "Why not!" "?" "Not unless you wear these on T.V. if you win." "Oh." "Let me see." "Wow..." "Great design..." "Oh man..." "These guys are pretty serious." "Don't get psyched out, bros!" "It's not about the equipment." "It's about heart!" "Wait..." "That doesn't sound right..." "It's about turn radius!" "And you two got that down!" "Thanks, Muscle Man." "Dude, look!" "It's Carter and Briggs!" "Aaaalright!" "You guys ready for some donuts?" "I can't hear you!" "I said, "Are you reeeady!" "?"" "Thank you!" "My hearing's not so good!" "And now, whoever holds the longest spin will win!" "Mord  Rics" "Kick their butts" "Welcome!" "To the final round!" "It's really you guys!" "What are your names contestants?" "Mordecai and Rigby, sir." "Yeah yeah that's great." "Anyway..." "Let's see who you will be up against." "Oh, no!" "Bro!" "Unlim condition 1985 police cruiser?" "!" "300 horsepower VA" "Extra bald tire streaks" "Air dynamic chassis?" "The Briggs!" "Those guys look like us!" "It is an honor, Carter and Briggs." "And as for you two Posers, you are going down!" "Posers?" "!" "We don't need halloween costumes to be fans." "As Escobito said in the TV movie" ""Carter and Briggs Bust Russia"" "We will destroy them your holiness." "Well is Briggs said in epsode 238:" "Shut your crime hole!" "Epsode 129:" "Ead taser!" "Alright" "Which team will win the chance to be on Carter and Briggs?" "!" "Probably the one that's exact replica of police cruiser, am I right?" "Teams, to your vehicle!" "Bros!" "Bros!" "Don't listen to them!" "Focus." "They have 1985 police cruiser replica" "Just pretty much the perfect donut spining winning machine." "But I don't train losers to lose" "I train winners to win!" "Now go win this Donut Spinathon!" "Losers!" "Thanks!" "I guess..." "Of the edgy, bros!" "Hit the grace." "Come on!" "Whoah!" "That straight illegal brad?" "Does it matter?" "You'll never break our spin!" "We got mad skills!" "Who need skills!" "Resist defeat, we have ways to dealing with you!" "The sooner you die, the sooner we will be on Carter and Briggs." "You guys are psycho!" "That hurt!" "We're gonna win!" "We're gonna die!" "What do we do?" "!" "You gonna drive in a vortex, bro?" "Dude!" "We gonna do zero turning radius!" "Spin in a vortex!" "But that's crazy!" "Have any better Ideas?" "Hold it!" "It's workinnnnnnng!" "Zeeeero turrrrning radiuuuus!" "We have a winner!" "Congrats.Mordercai and spinsby." "See you two on Sat." "This free publicity will be so good for the park." "Shh!" "Be quiet." "Our scene is next!" "Pu-pulling us of the street walt do-doing a thing Carter and Briggs." "Yeah!" "Crime...is like a lizard's tail..." "It always...[cough]" "It always grows...back?" "Take your last breath of fresh air, punks." "Cause you won't be breathing them for a long time." "Hey!" "That actually hurt!" "So!" "What do you everybody think?" "Dude." "This is the best day in my life." "That's exactly what was gonna say."