"DAVID: "The two women who loved him, but hated each other," ""were suddenly no longer rivals." "(LION ROARING)" ""Fear, the fear of imminent death, the primeval terror of the wilderness," ""fused their souls as they fled headlong together." "(ROARING)" ""But now, those long, tawny limbs that had so bewitched Daniel" ""failed to notice the log that had fallen in their path." "(WOMAN SCREAMS)" ""What had been only a news story for Daniel," ""was now to rip at his very being." "(LION ROARING)" ""'Quick, get up, we can still escape. '" ""'No, it is my fate, I will face Simba alone. '" ""'I have hated you like death itself, but now I will not leave you. '" ""'You must." "I am not afraid. '" ""'Then I will love him for both of us." "We are sisters now." "Goodbye. '" ""'Oh, I hear you, sister." "Goodbye. '" ""And so she ran." "She ran despite the terrible roars and screams" ""that now echoed through the bush." ""She ran to where Daniel and his camera crew were getting ready" ""to broadcast the story of the war," ""not knowing the cruel landscape had claimed another victim."" "End of Chapter One." "Good, eh?" "To be honest, I only usually read it to someone if I'm trying to seduce them." "Girls like the saucier bits." "What do you think?" "That's great, David." "I'm very impressed." "And a little bit turned on." "Well, I think it's rather powerful." "Well, I think it's rather powerful." "It's ridiculous." "All politicians are obsessed with their legacy project." "Mr Kubwasana obviously believes that pointlessly spending all the government's money will somehow rescue the entire country." "I think he got the idea from Mr Brown." "World News Desk." "Alex working the wires!" "Oh, it's you." "The littlest desk jockey." "And where have you been all morning?" "Geography field trip?" "Hey, are you busy?" "JANE:" "Both sides are deadlocked, economy's in freefall, so, no." "ALEX:" "I've actually got the perfect assignment for you, Jane." "I beg your pardon?" "Harry Chambers called me yesterday with a story he thought we might like." "Apparently, there's this woman who runs this place where both sides come together and make beaded Kalashnikovs, or something." "It sounds amazing!" "It sounds terrible." "No." "No, no, no, no." "The catwalks are really military again this year, Jane." "Sniper Chic." "Necklaces made of ammunition, that kind of stuff." "Gaultier's launching a Kevlar bikini." "Thanks, Alex." "I think I'll wait till it all just reaches the High Street." "Although I'm pretty sure Tooting Primark does flak jackets anyway." "The Six are already interested." "They've got this footage they want to show of Victoria Beckham in LA wearing a bullet hole bindi." "Kerpow!" "Well, I'll see if I can find some size zero combatants, shall I?" "Ooh, lovely, yeah!" "All right." "Toodles." "Ciao." "Okay, team." "Let's go." "It's time for Africa's Next Top Model!" "Sorry?" "Is Janice Dickinson coming out?" "I love Janny!" "Much better than that." "Harry?" "Sniper chic." "Of course, Rory, you'll know all about military fashion." "I do?" "Coming from where you come from, balaclavas and so on." "I remember once John Sergeant was in this back room somewhere in Belfast, door was locked, a dozen paramilitaries, in balaclavas of course, stripping guns on the table." "Every time he tried to leave, they'd push him back into his chair and shout right in his face." "He thought he'd had it, I tell you." "Turned out, it was a lock-in." "They shoved him out the door at 4:00 a.m., utterly blotto, with an orange sash on that said, "Sergeant in the UDF."" "I heard it was the UDA." "No, it was definitely the UDF." "Ah, well." "Well before my time, anyway." "Jane." "Jane, I cannot believe the London desk just gave you my story." "Doesn't sound like much of a story to me anyway." "Local woman makes beaded tat?" "Are you sure you wouldn't rather investigate some woods to see whether bears shit in them?" "Or whether Tony Blair's a Catholic?" "No disrespect, Rory." "No, no, no." "There's something in it." "She's all on her own there, on this huge estate." "Isn't that right, Harry?" "Do you know, I don't think I'm at liberty to say, actually." "Harry, do you know what the function of a stringer is?" "Yes." "To gain in-depth local knowledge and cultivate contacts in order to understand the people, places and culture." "Yeah, that too." "But your main function, when a London team is here, is to look after them." "Us." "Me, mainly." "Yeah, but it's just..." "Shut up." "That means offering your lifeblood." "Opening your veins and opening your contacts book." "Because when I go back to London, the Foreign Editor's gonna ask me what I thought of the little local stringer." "And, so far, Harry, it's not a lot." "She's right, you know." "MARGARET:" "Yes, she is." "Okay." "Fine." "Yes, you're right." "She's a local woman." "She lives all on her own." "Huge estate." "Yes." "Thank you." "Well done." "It's so important to have regular appraisals, I think." "JOYFUL:" "This area is where my family are from." "It is a very magical place." "The spirits of my ancestors used to walk this land." "MARGARET:" "Used to?" "JOYFUL:" "Of course." "Nowadays, they all drive." "Or at least ride a bicycle." "MARGARET:" "Sorry?" "This is the 21st century." "Just because my ancestors are dead, does not mean they do not take an interest in the modern world." "The house is just up there." "RORY:" "Could you grab the tripod, please, mate." "(EXCLAIMS) Nobody informed me we were going to be mountaineering." "JANE:" "All right, settle down, Sherpa Tense!" "Look what they've done to that lovely tree." "Vandals." "DAVID:" "I hope this is worth it, Jane." "JANE:" "Ooh!" "Very nice!" "MARGARET:" "Oh, yes." "Now, who would live in a house like this?" "What do you want?" "RORY:" "Oh." "David, it's over to you." "Excuse us, we were just..." "Are you missionaries?" "(CHUCKLES) No, no, no!" "RORY:" "No." "If you're missionaries, you can bugger off." "Are you filming?" "Stop that!" "Jane, this is Mags O'Mara." "She runs this house, and..." "What?" "You said she was..." "She's..." "You're white." "Yeah." "(SIGHS) You said she was local." "I am a local." "I was born in this house." "I've never left the country." "No, I'm so sorry." "It's just when Harry said you were..." "You know, I thought you were..." "I thought you were more, more local." "Right, come on, then." "Don't be so stupid." "There's nothing to see here." "Sorry to have disturbed you, madam." "Harry, come here!" "I just had an idea about a radio piece." "No, I mean right now!" "I'm just gonna go back down to that village." "Excellent idea, Harry." "It's okay, Jane." "I'll make sure he's all right." "Harry, wait for me." "And the rest of you can sod off as well." "(SIGHING) So terribly sorry." "Mrs Mags, if I may intercede on behalf of these lost souls." "Joyful!" "I didn't realise this lot were with you." "(SPEAKING IN LOCAL LANGUAGE)" "(SPEAKING IN LOCAL LANGUAGE)" "Joyful says you're not as tiresome as you look." "And you're clearly not missionaries." "You're not clean enough." "All right, a cup of tea and then you can get lost." "Alisha!" "Don't worry, we must be getting on our way now." "MAGS:" "Alisha, we have guests." "Ah, you're here." "On the other hand..." "Tea?" "(STUTTERING) Yes." "Chai." "Alisha!" "HARRY:" "Jane treats me like a bloody houseboy, Margaret." "I didn't come all the way out here for this." "I remember my last day on the Croydon Advertiser." "I said to them, "You look out for me on the Six O'Clock News. "" "And I was going work my way up and become a big beast in foreign affairs." "A Simpson, a Bell, a Buerk." "Look." "You got on the Six once." "You can do it again." "Yeah." "Yeah." "Yes." "It's just that I..." "I know this country." "I understand it." "I see things that other people miss." "(MARGARET AGREEING)" "Harry, where's the village?" "(SPEAKING IN LOCAL LANGUAGE)" "Hello." "(SPEAKING IN LOCAL LANGUAGE)" "Harry, what is this?" "You said you knew this country!" "What was he saying?" "I don't think my vocabulary is up to it." "For goodness sake, Harry, hasn't your girlfriend taught you any of the local language?" "Well, yeah, a bit." "A few words here and there." "Well, go on then, translate." "She didn't teach me that much!" "So unless he's saying" ""yes", "no", "faster", or" ""like that, but in slightly smaller circles", then no, I can't!" "(HARRY CHUCKLING NERVOUSLY)" "So, tell me, where is the enchanting young lady?" "JANE:" "These masks are amazing, Mrs O'Mara!" "Is this bugger gonna jinx me?" "Hey, he looks a bit like Michael Buerk." "MAGS:" "If you weren't so stupid, you wouldn't joke about these things." "Amu won't do anything in the daylight." "But visitors sometimes find the spirits around here a bit troublesome." "Then we must all bow to Amu." "Oh, all right then." "MAGS:" "That's more like it." "So, are you going to interview me?" "JANE:" "No, I'm afraid we have to..." "Oh, absolutely!" "MAGS:" "And then you can go." "Wait a minute." "Not yet, Rory." "Plenty of time for interviews later." "Don't wait too long." "None of us is getting any younger." "Perhaps we could all go and have a look at your fascinating bead project first?" "I love beads." "This way." "(DRUMS BEATING)" "MARGARET:" "What are they chewing?" "I really hate chewing." "It's so vulgar." "HARRY:" "Oh, it's khat." "(EXCLAIMING)" "It's a stimulant, like phet." "Phet?" "Billy, whizz." "Speed." "Amphetamines." "Oh." "You chew it, it makes you high." "Or you can brew it up, or bake it into things like biscuits, cakes, custard." "Hmm." "You seem to know a lot about it." "Yeah." "Well, I had a really bad summer the year I got here and I got a bit addicted." "(SNICKERING)" "I've just got that sort of personality, you know?" "I mean, it's a great buzz to start off with, then I just got hooked in." "I only gave it up after I started seeing things." "(CHUCKLES) Seeing things?" "Yeah." "It's a hallucinogenic." "(WHISPERS) I started seeing nanas." "(CHUCKLES) Nanas?" "Oh, is that some druggy vision?" "No, I started seeing my nanas." "My grandmothers." "They're dead." "It's what this lot are doing, getting their ancestors round" "for a family get-together." "Oh." "DAVID: (PANTING) And running for the walking, David." "So, you've lived here all your life?" "Oh, for pity sake, stop that, you disgusting beast." "Excuse me?" "Behave yourself and stop chewing on dead snakes." "Snakes?" "Come here." "DAVID: (LAUGHING) Oh, I see!" "(DOG BARKING)" "Are there snakes here?" "Mmm, boomslangs in the trees." "You're probably all right if you don't brush past one." "Uh, don't look into the camera." "Boomslangs?" "Yes, they will bite." "You're fine for a few hours." "Then you get a headache, then nausea." "(CHUCKLING) Oh, that doesn't sound too bad." "Then you start to haemorrhage uncontrollably inside and out." "By that time you're as good as dead." "Been to Karibu before?" "Well, Africa, yes, many times." "And I've been reporting on the situation here for some weeks." "Oh, really?" "Well, you'll forgive me if I don't dig out the old wind-up wireless and tune in." "Expect it's the usual load of cobblers." "Mind the fallen logs." "Scorpions." "They'll kill you." "(NATIVE DRUMS BEATING)" "If my stories aren't even good enough for David to steal, maybe I should just give up." "Buy a ticket back." "Snap out of it, Harry." "You're just having a crisis of faith." "I've lost count of the number of times I've phoned Mum and said," ""Get some extra loo rolls in, Ma, I'm coming home."" "(MARGARET CHUCKLES)" "But I never do." "There's no room, really." "She's got a lodger now and all my stuff's up in the loft." "Mmm." "Anyway, Harry, you don't want to spend the rest of your life interviewing pramfaced Croydon tramdodgers?" "You want to get a bit of gumption!" "You want to tell the whole world about all this." "(HIGH-PITCHED ULULATING)" "Whatever this is." "MAGS: (GRUNTING) I told you, leave those alone." "I reckon you're the sort of journalist who probably turns out some vile African novel after being here for five minutes." "Tawny-limbed native women who sacrifice themselves for the white westerner." "(MAGS LAUGHING)" "Got any man-eating lions?" "Your sort loves man-eating lions." "Wish we had a few more lions and a few less men." "Oh, by the way, don't touch the dog." "She doesn't care you aren't missionaries." "She'll snap your hand off." "You'll bleed to death for sure." "Right." "Here we are." "The bead project." "JANE:" "I thought Alex was joking." "They come here when they're hungry for some bitings and something to drink." "They haven't got any money, of course, so I insist they pay in kind." "An hour's beadwork buys a bowl of soup." "DAVID:" "Is Alisha not here?" "(SPEAKING IN LOCAL LANGUAGE)" "I won't tolerate threatening behaviour." "All guns must be handed in to Mama Britney." "Ah, yes." "Reminds me of the old Gala Bingo in Ballymena." "We still do get the odd fatal stabbing." "But there is a waiting list, so there isn't a vacancy for long." "(SIGHING) Well, we'd love to do a quick interview with you about the stuff you make here." "Yes, why don't we do that back at the house?" "All goes to New York, apparently." "No idea why they can't string their own beads." "Is this Paris Hilton?" "No idea." "Never been there." "DAVID:" "Come on, Jane." "MARGARET:" "What's going on here?" "They're communing with their ancestors." "That's an Ancestor Tree." "MARGARET:" "Is it?" "Each one is inhabited by a whole family of spirits." "Dozens of them, all chattering away, peering down at us." "I had some neighbours like that once in Wimbledon." "(HARRY SIGHING)" "They could see right into my bathroom." "They were squatters, actually." "Oh, you see those little bits of paper?" "They're messages to the spirits." "And if you ever need to cut down an Ancestor Tree, you have to write a message to the occupants and post it on the tree so they can move to a new home." "(SIGHING) We tried that." "They wouldn't budge." "Margaret, Margaret, Margaret, Margaret." "This here is Africa." "All right?" "(STUTTERING) You're never going to fully understand this continent if you insist on relating everything to when you lived in bloody Wimbledon!" "(DRUMS BEATING RAPIDLY)" "(HARRY SIGHING)" "Okay." "So, what do they do then, these ancestors?" "Oh, yeah, they just live side-by-side with people, out of sight, but helping them out, being there when they're needed." "(TUTTING) Oh, okay." "Like the Wombles." "(HARRY SOBBING)" "Prince of Wales shot that one." "Who, Charles?" "He's quite a charmer, actually." "The 1920s, that Prince of Wales." "Send that one you've got at the moment out, he'd probably end up on the wall himself." "(EXCLAIMING)" "He's not his usual type." "What's his usual type?" "Young." "Long, possibly tawny-limbed." "Not too fussy." "(RORY CHUCKLING)" "I feel a bit outnumbered." "You are." "Get used to it." "What's your usual type?" "Married." "Oh." "Or too keen on the drink." "Or doolally from the malaria tablets." "(CHUCKLING) Or too young." "Or all of the above." "I'm afraid, Rory, it's always the unsuitable ones for me." "Oh, dear." "It's Chicken à L'Orange." "The L'Orange is pineapple." "(LAUGHING) Well, Mags, you're quite an extraordinary woman, I must say, to run this place." "(EXCLAIMING)" "And you said you were all alone, but, in fact, you've got..." "My husband was shot by a poacher nearly five years ago." "Hung on for three days, but there was nothing we could do." "Never had children." "Ovaries all twisty, or something." "And you stay here, just you and Alisha?" "Not just Alisha." "Where else is there to go?" "Nearest place to here is Toby and Cynthia's farm, about 30 miles away over the ridge." "Mmm." "And what do they do?" "Did they do." "I was so sorry to hear about that." "MAGS:" "Mmm." "(STAMMERING) Oh." "Perhaps they...they died?" "Flash fire." "Woke up as nyama choma." "Barbecued meat." "Or rather, didn't wake up." "Whole family, daughter, too." "And then there was Tamsin." "That was a great shame." "Uh, this..." "This chicken is lovely." "Alisha killed it herself." "DAVID:" "Oh." "Well done, Alisha!" "Why doesn't she join us?" "Well, Mags, this seems to be a pretty dangerous place." "Why do you say that?" "Well, because everyone you know seems to have, um, died." "Yes." "The clock ticks quicker here." "We're used to it." "Elton's right." "It's the circle of life." "Not really." "More a straight line, then a full stop." "Indeed." "And are we going to do this interview?" "Oi!" "(DRUMS BEATING)" "We've been here for hours." "(SPEAKING IN LOCAL LANGUAGE)" "(HARRY AND MARGARET EXCLAIMING)" "Oh, hello." "Margaret Hollis." "World Service." "Come on, Harry." "Yes, I'm coming." "Tell me, how has the war affected your traditional way..." "Harry, what are you doing?" "Being a journalist." "Not before me, you're not!" "I was just showing some gumption." "Well, don't show it to me." "Sir." "Margaret Hollis, World Service." "BBC?" "BBC?" "Yes." "Yes." "(SPEAKING IN LOCAL LANGUAGE)" "Uh, pardon, sorry, just a little bit slower." "Little bit slower." "(SPEAKING IN LOCAL LANGUAGE)" "(EX CLAIMING) Excuse me." "HARRY:" "Oh, God!" "He's chuckling." "(ELDER CHUCKLING)" "Roads are terrible, you see." "A day doesn't go by when you don't see some twisted wreck piled up at the side of the road with the vultures circling round it." "Maybe you should tell me how this bead project started." "The only people who knock on the door are the fucking missionaries." "Uh, I'm sorry." "Sorry, this is for the Six O'Clock News." "Can you not say that word?" "What, "missionaries"?" "Why the fuck not?" "Now you sound like a fucking missionary!" ""Don't do this, don't do that."" "They come here, telling us we can't have our traditions, can't have our medicines, can't even have sex!" "If there is one thing I tell my boys, it's this," ""Always wear a johnny."" "Oh, I do." "I mean, agree." "I do agree." "MAGS:" "If you don't, you may as dig your own grave and throw yourself in it there and then." "You're as good as dead." "Uh, let's just leave the sodding missionaries aside, shall we?" "Live and let live." "That's what I say." "Well, no, actually you don't, do you!" "You've talked about nothing but death since we got here!" "London wants me to talk to you about your wretched bead project and what you want to do is count the animals you've killed and the friends you've buried." "Frankly, I'm likely to die...of boredom." "(STUTTERING) Sorry." "Cut." "Cut, cut, Rory." "(DAVID SIGHING)" "(DAVID MUMBLING)" "Oh!" "Have we finished?" "(DRUMS BEATING)" "What?" "BBC." "Yes." "Arlene!" "Bruno!" "Arlene!" "Bruno!" "Arlene!" "BBC!" "(EX CLAIMING) Oh, my God!" "Yes." "It's a dance-off!" "What?" "Harry, haven't you ever seen Strictly Come Dancing?" "No." "Well, they have." "Harry, we are judging a dance competition." "HARRY:" "What?" "MARGARET:" "Stop saying, "What"." "Oh, tea!" "(HARRY EXCLAIMING)" "(SPEAKING IN LOCAL LANGUAGE)" "Hope Mr Bradburn is okay." "Maybe I'll just see if he needs someone to hold his microphone lead back while he vomits." "He'll be fine." "I'll send Alisha up with some dawa." "He'll be right as rain in the morning." "Mmm." "Right." "I'm going to bed, too, Rory." "Oh, look at him." "Are you looking at me again, Amu?" "MAGS:" "Don't point." "It's disrespectful." "Do you want some?" "Do you want to get involved?" "Huh?" "Eh?" "Huh?" "I'll take her upstairs." "(CHUCKLING) Come on." "JANE:" "He does look like Michael Buerk." "Don't worry." "The spirits will look after her." "(MAGS CHUCKLING)" "Cheers." "Cheers." "(DRUMS BEATING)" "You, very good." "You, that was terrible." "Where was the rhythm?" "You would need a doctor to find that beat." "And I don't mean a witch doctor, either." "(STAMMERING) Yeah, and when you were going round and round, you were a little bit loose, you could be tighter." "(SPEAKING IN LOCAL LANGUAGE)" "No, no, it was fine." "Just go in slightly smaller circles." "(SPEAKING IN LOCAL LANGUAGE)" "Um..." "Oh!" "Oh, oh!" "(SPEAKING IN LOCAL LANGUAGE)" "(HARRY CHUCKLING)" "Ooh!" "Cakes!" "Ooh, lovely." "(MARGARET EXCLAIMING)" "(DAVID SIGHING)" "Oh, you're there." "Bloody hell, you're lovely." "Sit down." "We've barely had a chance to talk all night." "I've got something I think you might enjoy." "JANE: (MUMBLING) Rory." "(DRUMS BEATING)" "Seven." "Nine." "You'll like this bit." ""Daniel was pretty certain they were flying over the Aswan Dam," ""when she hopped up to the faux marble-topped vanity unit" ""and pulled apart his shirt to reveal an old shrapnel wound" ""he'd picked up in Gaza." ""It was healing now, but she still managed to raise hairs" ""as she traced the full eight inches of scar tissue with the tip of her tongue." ""She threw back her neck," ""proud nipples pointing towards the neatly positioned spotlights" ""on the ceiling of the cramped cubicle." ""Her cleavage salty from the pressure of the deadline she was under."" "Pretty good, eh?" "(DRUMS BEATING)" "(MARGARET WHOOPING)" "MARGARET:" "I bet John Sergeant can't do this." "(DAVID MOANING)" "(HIGH-PITCHED VOCALISING)" "(JANE GASPING)" "(JANE PANTING)" "(ROOSTER CROWING)" "HARRY:" "Morning." "Morning." "(PEOPLE CHATTERING)" "Can I talk to you about something?" "Yes." "Um, I can't be sure, but last night I think I was drugged and bewitched during a tribal ceremony and then forced to marry the Paramount Chief's daughter." "You?" "Again, can't be certain, but, yes, I may now be one of his wives." "Oh!" "Headache." "Harry, there must have been something in that tea." "Oh, God, it wasn't khat, was it?" "Khat!" "(SPEAKING IN LOCAL LANGUAGE)" "(MEN LAUGHING)" "I have been talking to my cousin Hasani here!" "You are such a lightweight!" "You threw a massive whitey, but, you are apparently a great dancer!" "And Miss Margaret, they would like to know who recorded the song you treated them to last night." "They want to download the original." "So what was it?" "Tight Fit." "(HASANI SINGING CHORUS OF THE LION SLEEPS TONIGHT)" "JOYFUL:" "Come on, Harry." "Oh, God, Joyful, Joyful, Joyful, that's her." "You're going to have to speak to them and tell them there's been a mistake." "A mistake?" "(EX CLAIMING) I can't marry her!" "(STAMMERING) I'm already..." "I'm spoken for!" "It'll have to be annulled!" "Mr Harry!" "I am very disappointed in you!" "I never thought of you as one of those white men who harboured that unsavoury colonial fantasy of being dragged away by some dusky chieftain's daughter!" "You imagine you have been married against your will in some hilarious mix-up!" "This is not a "Carry On" film." "Come on." "We must collect the others." "HARRY:" "Okay, okay." "I'll call them." "So, I'm not one of his wives?" "He only has one wife and she is over there talking to her sister." "(MARGARET EXCLAIMING)" "Well, thank you very much everyone for a lovely evening." "Yes, you must all come round to ours sometime!" "Bye!" "(MAGS LAUGHING)" "MAGS:" "It's very good." "Oh, how's the patient?" "Still alive?" "Yeah." "Yeah, I think so." "I had a very strange dream that..." "Nothing." "You were right." "Amu was looking at you." "Jane?" "Just looking at the tape from yesterday." "Well, it's fine on the bits I shot outside, but, now look." "Everything we shot in there has this huge glitch across it." "I've never seen this before." "All the bits I did this morning are fine." "DAVID:" "You filmed your breakfast being cooked?" "Yeah, for my private collection." "It was an awesome way to wake up." "Well, thank you, Mags, and do please thank Alisha, too." "I've had a delightful time, I think." "Thank her yourself." "Yeah, thanks, Alisha." "You do a great breakfast here." "David, she's got some amazing stories about this place." "You should interview her." "(LAUGHING) Alisha doesn't want to talk to that old fool, do you, Alisha?" "No, no, no." "Not her." "Um, no, the other Alisha." "Uh, this one." "Who are these people, Mags?" "Ah, well, that's me with Toby and Cynthia and their daughter." "It's the last photograph taken before they drove off down the track." "Their farm burned down that night." "She was called Alisha, too." "She would have enjoyed your company, I think, Mr Bradburn." "She liked a man who'd lived a little." "She always had her sights beyond the horizon." "But they're never very far away, if I need the company." "That's why it's lovely having an Ancestor Tree so close to the house." "Somewhere for them all to live." "They just pop in and out whenever they please." "I'm sure you've noticed." "Okay, David?" "Sleep well?" "Fine, yes." "How about you?" "Get up to much?" "Nothing." "Absolutely Nothing." "(NATIVES SINGING THE LION SLEEPS TONIGHT IN THE DISTANCE)" "It's been surprisingly quiet this weekend considering Karibu is in the middle of a serious conflict." "In fact, for the past 24 hours, nothing's happened here at all." "Nothing to see, nothing to tell." "Move along, please." "This is Harry Chambers, about to call his girlfriend to tell her that he loves her." "Karibu." "(CHICKEN CLUCKING)" "(NATIVES SINGING THE LION SLEEPS TONIGHT)" "DAVID:" "Mind that." "Don't want a dead chicken as well." "DAVID:" "Mind that." "Don't want a dead chicken as well."