"The rest of the Old Ones arrive in two months." "We create a new context and we show them something worse." "I knew you'd come to save her." "She's the War Child." "GROWLS" "You'll have to look after her now." "She needs a name, George." "She's called Eve." "I'm going to save the world." "We need a miracle." "I'm going to kill that baby." "LOUIS ARMSTRONG:" "La Vie En Rose" "♪ Hold me close and hold me fast" "♪ The magic spell you cast" "♪ This is la vie en rose" "♪ When you kiss me, heaven sighs... ♪" "Oh!" "Your friend's back." "I beg your pardon?" "Yeah, I just saw him." "Where?" "I love this song." "Upstairs." "Oh!" "It's good to sit down." "And you just left him there?" "I met him once, you know." "Satchmo." "Stage door." "The New Opera House, 1950." "Why didn't you kill him?" "At least, I think it was him." "I was so drunk, it could have been Shirley Bassey." "I won't do your dirty work for you." "I can't do it." "You know I can't." "Leo, do you hear this?" " You can't do that, Pearl." " We need to get rid of him." "He's filthy and he hates me." "He doesn't hate you, Hal!" "Pearl, could you...?" "Why should I have blood on my hands?" "!" "There doesn't have to be blood on anyone's hands!" "He's a spider." "Just catch him in a cup and put him outside." "Fine!" "You're helping!" "RADIO STATIC" "WOMAN: 'Leo?" "'Leo, can you hear me?" "'Don't be afraid." "'I bring news of great joy." "'You must journey west." "'There, you will find a house wherein dwells a man like you 'and a woman like Pearl." "'They are the guardians to a child." "'That child is the Chosen One." "'She will save you, Leo." "'She will save us all. '" "HENRY'S FUNERAL SHOE:" "Dog Scratched Ear" "♪ Your actions are infectious" "♪ Like a dog-scratched ear" "♪ Your pleasure is high" "♪ You been climbing walls two at a time" "♪ Looking for joy" "♪ When there's none to find" "♪ There's none to find" "♪ None to find. ♪" "Where have you been?" "Out!" "Stop doing that." ""Aht" where?" "Just out." "Right, let's get this over with." "Annie!" "Please assume the position." "I ain't done nowt!" "You haven't done anything!" "Exactly." "No, Tom, I'm not agreeing with you." "Your grammar is appalling." " Right, you're clean." " See?" "What do you expect when you sneak in here all... .. sneakily, hm?" "No, I agreed to let you live under my roof under one condition - that you abide by all of my commandments." " You talking about the house rules, Annie?" " Yes, I am, Tom, and why don't we just run through them again so that we're clear?" "No smoking, no dialling 0800 numbers, all dishes must be washed, dried and put away, not left to drip, no bringing girls home, never put a cup down without a coaster, and if I'm going to be late, two rings." "A" " A-And we're missing one, aren't we?" "No killing vampires." "So sorry?" "No killing vampires, but I was thinking, if I'm out on the street and I see a vampire, are you saying that I can't kill him?" "Yes, Tom." "Yes, that is exactly what I'm saying." "OK, what if he attacks me?" "Then, yes, you can, yes." "Right, well, make a note of that, then." "I'm just going to make a note... of that." "Good." "Why don't the three of us go away somewhere?" "The Old Ones are coming, I don't understand why we're still here." "What?" "No, it wouldn't make any difference." "We could go to Timbuk-bloody-tu and the mayor would be a vampire." "No, we've tried running and it doesn't work." "If the Old Ones want to find you, they will." "No, a better idea is to stay put, don't draw attention to ourselves and just stay out of trouble." "You know I am responsible for the Saviour of the world, after all." "Don't do that face, Tom." " You know my feelings about that face." " Annie, she's not the Saviour." "I love that little girl to pieces, I really do, but this is insane." "She's just a baby." "She's not going to walk on water, she's not going to feed the 5,000 and she's not going to be visited by the three wise men following a star." "HOWLIN' WOLF:" "I'm The Wolf" "♪ You know I'm the wolf, baby" "♪ You know I stays in the woods... ♪" " Not much further." " Seven, Hal." "There were all on the left-hand side of the road." "I never stop on the left-hand side, you know that." " Seven petrol stations!" " It's unlucky." "Listen, Rain Man..." "Everything OK?" " Everything's good." " Great!" "Everything's just... great." "Couldn't you have talked him out of this?" "He was adamant." "Oh, it's madness!" "Do you really think we're going to knock on this door and find a ghost and a werewolf shacked up together?" "Like that would ever happen." "Shacked up together, baby-sitting the Messiah." "You're right, it is madness, but he's not well, Pearl." "He doesn't ask much of us." "I know he's not well." "I'm perfectly aware of that, thank you." "I'm sorry." "It's times like this I'm glad I'm invisible, because when some unsuspecting man or woman answers that door, you're going to have to tell them we're here to visit a godchild." "Good luck with that." "I'll explain that we are humouring our friend." "I'll say that he's old and..." "And what?" "Losing his mind?" "Is that how he's going to leave us?" "He's not going to leave us." "I think we're here." "Great." "Tom." "Who's that?" "Oh, please don't!" "We mean no harm, young man, I promise you." "It's all right, Leo." "Remove your weapon." "I know what you are, but who are you and who sent you here?" "Thomas, what are you doing?" "!" "And where did you get that?" "I'm going to count to ten." "I suggest you use that time wisely and step away." "You don't scare me..." "One..." " two..." " Did you hide that in my hanging basket?" " .. three..." " That is it, I'm going to have to add" " another commandment." " .. four..." "Thou shall not hide stakes in my shrubbery." " .. five..." " Is she serious?" " .. six..." " Who sent you?" "We were told to come here." "By who?" " Can you see me?" " Can you see me?" " I'm a ghost." " So am I." ".. eight..." "An angel who was sent here by an angel." " .. nine..." " Hold on." "You're a ghost?" "Is he a werewolf?" "A very naughty werewolf." "She sent us to see..." " BABY CRYING - .. the Saviour." "Well." "Well, well, well, well, well." "Did you hear that, Tom?" "They've been sent to see the Saviour, by an angel no less." "Well, isn't that just brilliant(!" ")" "Fantastic." "Hmm." "Here we go." "Now, are you sure there isn't anything else I can get you, Leo?" "I'm fine, honestly." "OK." "Would... would you like to... sort of..." "No?" "OK." "OK." "Sit down, Hal, you're making them nervous." "Yeah, Hal, sit down." "Thank you, I'll stand." "Great." "Lovely." "So, um, how do you all know each other?" "We live together." "You what?" "I know it's a bit unusual." "No, it's not that." "It's just that, um..." "Well..." "Three supernaturals all under the same roof." "Yes, exactly, and I..." "I mean, a werewolf and a vampire becoming friends." "It's unheard of, I suppose." "No, actually, not that unheard of because..." "I think it's largely my influence." "Interestingly enough, I..." "Some might say I've achieved the impossible." "SHOUTS:" "I did it!" "I'm sorry." "Um, I did it." "I did it too." "It's not anything to shout about really, is it?" "But I did do it." "What, there's a vampire here?" "Er... no, not exactly." "Um... things have changed a lot for us recently." "Oh, that's a pity." "Over 55 years and I've never had to change my line-up." "Good." "Annie..." "I understand that you are the Saviour's guardian." "Well, yes." "I appreciate how demanding that must be." "And, so, one minute in her presence is all I ask." "And I shall make it so." "Thomas... bring forth the Chosen One." "Go." "Go and get the baby, Tom." "Um, now, Leo, when exactly did this angel speak to you?" "Over Louis Armstrong, on the radio." "And, um..." "And what did she sound like, this... this angel?" " Where did you get this?" " Um, well, a man." "Well, a, no..." "A vampire." "He gave it me." "He said it comes with Eve." "You do know that it's human skin?" "No." "No, that one's not, actually." "No, that one's fake." "It's just prosthetics." "Would it make it easier for you to believe that?" "Yes." " Then that's what it is." " Thank you." "Oh, and... this is she." "She's so tiny!" "How can something so powerful be so tiny?" "I'm not a young man any more." "I'm ill and I'm useless." "But I need more time." "This can't happen yet." "I've... (COUGHING)" "It's OK." "Don't say anything, Leo, just breathe." "Just concentrate on breathing." "What's happening?" "Will you help me?" " Annie?" " It's Eve!" "Isn't it?" "It's Eve." "Don't you get it?" "Eve's saying yes." "Leo, Eve is saying yes." "She will help you." "Gotta stop this before it goes any further." "Look," "I know that you don't think Eve is gifted, so just leave it, OK?" "I'm not saying that." "I don't know what she'll do when she grows up." "She might be an amazing pianist or a maths genius, or a barrister." "She might own her own restaurant or become President of the United States." "Highly unlikely!" "She's a British citizen." "Oh, that's unlikely, but it's all right for an angel to interrupt Louis Armstrong to bring them lot here?" "That's fine, innit?" "!" "We cannot begin to understand the forces at work here." "If this was just us, if this was all something to help you cope with everything that's happened, then fine." "But you're dragging other people into it and it ain't right." "Eve can't save that man." "After everything that you've been through, why is this so difficult for you to believe?" "What's all this really about, Annie?" "Pfff..." "I am not going to argue about this with you, Tom." "I'm on your side." "Then, please, just support me in this." "Hmm?" "Unbelievable." "That angel was right." "But, then again, I sensed it, when we were approaching the house." "Oh, so, she's an angel now?" "This morning, she was a hallucination!" "I don't think I actually used the word "hallucination"." "You did." "I think we should just forget about all that." "The important thing is, she's going to make you better." "Well, Hal, it seems Pearl's been converted." "What about you?" "What is that thing anyway?" "To us... .. this is holy scripture, the only thing we really believe in." "I didn't even know it physically existed." "Yet here it is, in the same house as that child." "It's not just a coincidence." "What are you talking about?" "I think that Eve really is the War Child." "She's actually going to do it." "She's going to rid the world of us." " Us?" " Vampires." "Is that what that thing says?" "The child of the moon, the Godhead, death of the vampires." "It won't happen today or tomorrow, it could be years from now, but it will happen." "Oh, I'm so sorry, Hal." "If I'd known, I wouldn't have brought you here." "No, I think I was meant to come." "I think I was meant to find her." "Hey." "Well, um..." "We have some very, very exciting news for you, don't we, Tom?" "Yeah, s'pose." "Right, we're gonna do this thing to channel Eve's energy, because she's God and that." "Um..." "And, hopefully, that might help you not die, or whatever." "There's subtitles for this conversation?" "OK, so, basically, what Tom is saying is... we are going to have a ceremony!" "GEORGE SHRIEKING" "SHRIEKING AND SCREAMING CONTINUES" "HOWLING" "All right, then." "Now, as you'll see on the sheets in front of you," "I need you to answer three simple questions." "Firstly, I want you to tell me what you think you just saw." "Second, whether such a thing can even be possible and third, if creatures like this did exist, how would that make you feel?" "Frightened?" "Excited?" "Curious?" "Threatened?" "Horny?" "Seriously, you'd be surprised." " And then, I want..." " What the shit's this?" "Excuse me." "Fergus!" "Come on!" " Who are they?" " My focus group." "Oh, that's all right, then." "Here's me worried you might've been dicking about." "Look, Griffin's dead." "Everything's falling apart." "All the others have gone back to their Clark Kents." "We seriously need to sort our shit out before the Old Ones arrive." "And is that what you've been doing, is it?" "Sorting our shit out?" "Yes." "I set up a war council, actually." "Are they your war council?" "Interesting." "Yeah?" "What about you?" "Giving it all Peter Mendelssohn." "OK, Fergus, either you mean Peter Mandelson or you're comparing me to a German composer." "See, this, this is exactly what I'm talking about." "What we need now is fists and fangs." "I'll tell you something..." "Those guys, they're dedicated..." "SCREAMING" " .. they're disciplined..." " They're eating my focus group." "SCREAMING" "Yeah, we skipped lunch." "Right, that's it." "Now, just piss off!" "Who do you think you're talking to?" "An irrelevance?" "The perennial henchman?" "I mean, you seriously think the Old Ones are gonna appoint you as Griffin's successor?" "Better me than you." "They don't even know who you are." "Ah, not yet, maybe, but I've got something to show them a whole lot better than your shit-eating grin." "Uh?" "Huh, we'll see about that." "Come on, you guys." "Pricks." "I can't even read it." "CLATTER" "Welcome to you all." "Do not be afraid." "Come closer and gather round the prophet." "Don't be afraid." "I would like to ask you now all to hold hands." "Go ahead." "All powerful and merciful Eve, we have come here today to ask you to assist our dear friend, Leo." "We humbly beseech thee to restore him to health, drive away all illness and infirmary, strengthen him, raise him up so that he may..." "Um..." "Ahem." "Raise him up so that he may... stand on mountains." "Raise him up so that he may walk on stormy seas." "Let the road... rise to meet him." "Let the force... be with him." "Carpe diem." "Veni vidi vici." "Et tu, Brute, Dolce et Gabbana est." "For thine is the power, the kingdom and the glory, for ever and ever, amen." " Oh, my God!" " Christ!" "ELECTRICAL BUZZING Oh, my gosh, what's happening?" "!" "He can't breathe, that's what's happening." "Get my bag." "Leo!" " Leo?" " What the hell did you do?" "Don't you talk to her like that, mate!" "You've no idea what you're doing, do you?" " I'm warning ya!" " You said she would 'elp him!" "So why doesn't she?" "Never mind switching the bloody lights on and off, why doesn't she cure him?" "Cos she's just a baby, an innocent baby." "Why are you trying to make her out to be something she ain't?" "She's George and Nina's baby." "Why ain't that enough?" "Come on, little 'un." "SIGHS" "I don't want to hear this, Leo, please." "Please, let me finish." "I've been a fool, Pearl." "I'm going to die." "I know that now." "And I'm not afraid." "I swear, I'm not." "The only thing I'm afraid of is what would happen to you and Hal when I'm gone." "That's why I wanted to be cured." "I needed more time to, I don't know, prepare you both." "To teach you how to cope without me." "It will be so different when you only have each other." "I don't want to think about that." "That's my point." "You have to." "♪ The beast in me" "♪ Has had to learn to live with pain" "♪ And how to shelter from the rain" "♪ And in the twinkling of an eye" "♪ Might have to be restrained" "♪ God help the beast in me. ♪" "Wow!" "I used to love that game when I was younger." "Oh, knocking them over is the best feeling in the world." " I never do that." " What?" "!" "I build them up, piece by piece, and when I'm finished, I take them down again, piece by piece." "Well, you are missing out a very important part of that game, then." "Leo gave me these." "Every day, he'd make me line them up, but never let me knock them down." "Why?" "He wanted to show me that I'm in control." "If I could teach myself to fight small urges..." ".. then I could train myself to resist much bigger ones." "So..." "So you used to do all of that, every single day?" "I still do." "It's part of my routine now, Annie." "I like routine." "It keeps me..." "It keeps my mind occupied and stops me from thinking too much." "Being responsible for the Saviour of the world must dominate your time?" "Oh... yes." "Yes, I s'pose so." "DOOR OPENS" "PEARL:" "Where's his inhaler?" "What?" "Leo's inhaler." "I told you to pack it." " It's in my bag." " Oh, I'll do it." "No, let me." "I know where it is!" "There's a system." "Pearl, there's a system!" " Bugger the bloody system." " (LIGHTS FIZZING AND CRACKLING)" "Um..." "Um, listen, listen, Pearl." "I'm really sorry that the, um, the ceremony didn't work." "Yeah, right." "Um, but it's just..." "I've been thinking." "Sometimes, when you get a message from the other side, it needs to be interpreted." "So, maybe, Leo didn't come here to get cured." "Here we go." "It's not the baby's fault, God forbid." "Um, no, maybe he was supposed to bring you two here, so that, you know, when he does finally... go, that he'll know you'll both be all right." "What are you saying?" "OK, um..." "What I'm saying is... move in here!" "Are you somehow drunk?" "No." "Um, no." "I just don't see the point in having this big house with all these rooms if I can't help people." "And, besides, it'll be really good for me to... um, I mean, for you two, both of you, to have something new to focus on." "That's the worst idea I've ever heard." "Be quiet, Hal." "You're not actually considering this, are you?" "Well, look, I mean, you can't really go back to Southend without Leo." "It would just be so... empty and... quiet and... different." "I'm going to the shop." "Do you want to come?" "I'd love to, but I've made plans to sit in and self-harm, so..." " You're a dickhead." " If you say so." "Have we finished flirting?" "Because I'd like to go inside now." "Wait a sec." "Do you know what this is?" "It's a ring, Tom." "As in jewellery." "Jewellery is the term given to personal dress ornaments, such as rings," " watches, bracelets." " I know what it is, Hal." "Why does Leo want it?" " What?" " Leo calls me into his room, stuffs this into me hand and says he wants it, or one like it." "What else did he say?" "(MIMICS LEO) "Take Hal with you. "" "Then Pearl came in and he hid under the covers." "Why didn't he simply ask me?" "You barely know him." "Well, it involves going to the shop, Hal, and you're not exactly a people person, are you?" "You don't think this is intended to help us bond, do you?" "Some random quest he imagines will bring us together?" "Nah." "Look at the state of that picture." "How many years has he been carrying it around wi' 'im?" "It must mean something to him." "Right, well, we shall retrieve this ring, if that's what he wants." "Yeah, but we won't start liking each other, because you're a dickhead." "And you are a Neanderthal." "Exactly." "Now, are you coming to the shop, or what?" "So, I was thinking I would put Hal in the double bedroom, or the bridal suite, as we like to call it." "It's quite a big room, but he seems like a man who, you know, needs his own space." "Um, and then we will put you in the second guest bedroom, which is right next to Leo's and it's quite, um..." "It's cosy, if that's OK?" " I haven't even see it." " Great, lovely!" "Settled, perfect, brilliant!" "Well, I'll just let you make yourself at home, and feel free to fix it up however you would like, provided you do check it with me first, so you don't do anything too crazy or over the top." "That'd be great." "Yes, because your home is the epitome of understated elegance, isn't it, Annie?" "!" "Thank you." "I was being sarcastic." "Look." "I want to make one thing clear." "The only reason I'm even considering this is because Leo thinks it's a good idea." "OK." "Thank you, Annie, for welcoming me into your home(!" ")" "(WHISPERING) That's OK, don't worry about it, it's fine." "If we do decide to stay, there's gonna have to be a few changes." "That'll have to go, for a start." "(LAUGHS)" "That?" "Well, no, that... that is not going anywhere." "It's an eyesore." "It's retro." " What?" "!" " You know, like, cool." "In an ironic kind of way." "I thought you'd have an appreciation for that, considering how you're dressed." "Ohh!" "Is this the lady in the longjohns attacking my dress sense?" "I'm not attacking..." "Sorry, I beg your pardon?" "The carpets need a good clean." "These are not longjohns, they're leggings." "And a bar in the living room?" "What message does that send out?" "And, actually, I died in 2007 and I do still see people wearing them today, so..." "You know, actually, I was quite fashion forward with these..." "leggings." "We'll need to start using a new brand of tea." "That stuff you make always looks very anaemic." "There is nothing wrong with my tea." "Hal has been dry for 55 years, and we've had hardly any problems with him." "So, I thought, since he's going to be living here," "I'd jot down one or two things to help him stay that way." "It might seem silly, keeping a list of instructions for a grown man." "(CHUCKLES) Not so silly." "So, first off, try to keep him away from people." "What kind of people?" "Oh, general people." " And dogs." "Mainly the small ones." " And budgies." "That only happened the once, and he sent a letter of apology to the miniature circus." "It's best to err on the side of caution, I think." "This is a given, but blood is a definite no-go." "Sure." "Absolutely, yep." "So, um, that's people, small dogs, budgies and blood." "This is an important one, Annie." "Never, under any circumstances, ever allow him to drink" "Kia-Ora." "Kia-Ora - the squash?" "You should steer clear of all diluted drinks and cordials, really." "But Kia-Ora - that's the one to look out for." "Why?" "What happens when he drinks Kia-Ora?" " We don't talk about it, Annie." " Oh." "Well, do they even still make Kia-Ora?" "Oh, they're making it all right!" " They're making it." " It's OK, Pearl!" "It's all right." "Wow." " I think that covers it." " Good." "Lovely." "So, um, what about you, Pearl?" "Any dark secrets?" "Anything I should know?" "Pearl... is a woman without fault." "(WHISPERING) I'll tell you later." "(BABY CRYING)" "Oh, gosh, I wish Tom would get back." "I think she needs to go out for some fresh air." "Well, why don't you take her?" "Floating baby." "Freaks people out!" "Just swaddle." "I beg your pardon?" "Are you telling me you've never swaddled?" "No, I haven't, and I don't think I want to!" "That sounds like something they do on Girls Behind Bars." "Urgh!" "You swaddle!" "Call yourself a ghost!" "Here we are." " Why are you so bothered?" " What?" "I mean, I know why I'm here, but why are you going to all this trouble" " for a sick old man you barely know?" " I happen to quite like him, actually." "He's sound, even if he has got seriously bad judgment" " when it comes to picking his mates." " Huh." "The fact that you are so young and so narrow-minded is truly staggering." "Look, some of us do terrible things occasionally," " that's true." " Yeah, occasionally." "Yeah, but so do werewolves." "So do humans, for that matter." "I don't understand why you hate vampires so much." "Oh, they're arrogant, egotistical, predatory, they often have stupid haircuts, and what was the other one?" "There was another one." "Oh, yeah, they killed me dad, Hal." "So nobody can actually see her like this?" "No." "They don't see you, they don't see her." "It's the oldest trick in the book." "Wow, but this is amazing!" "She once sneaked me into a Beatles concert underneath her skirt." "No!" "Really?" "!" "Yeah." "We were right up at the front." "I caught one of Ringo's drumsticks." "As I remember it, you yanked it out of some poor girl's hand." "He's a stickler for detail." "Oh, it was a good day." "Yeah." "It was." "I didn't want it to end." "I have to, um... (LIGHTS FIZZING AND CRACKLING)" "I forgot." "There's something I have to do." " That's the one, there." " That's the one." "I bet they do rubber tubing in here." "What?" "I'm thinking about building a swimming pool in the back yard." "Then I could use some for the, er..." " ... for the water jets." " Fascinating." "Please hurry." "Hiya, mate." "I'm just enquiring about the ring that's..." "MAN:" "That's not for sale." "Hey!" "Don't touch that." " It's not for sale." " What's it for?" "Decoration." "And it cost me a bloody fortune, so take your hands off it." "I'll not ask again." "Decoration?" "Is he deaf... or thick?" "Or both?" "It's an old hunting trophy, Tom, that's all." "I know what it is, Hal." "Look, it's probably ancient." "That's supposed to make a difference?" "What kind of a person buys something like this?" "Who'd want it?" "It's an animal." "A proud, majestic, noble animal." "Listen to David-fucking-Attenborough!" "And his head shouldn't be on a stick in the middle of some filthy backstreet pawn shop." "Tom, let's just leave." "I'm not in the mood for this." "Just piss off." "Go on, out." " I'm not going till you take it down." " Or you'll do what, exactly?" "Bloody tree-hugging, Guardian-reading... soya-milk-drinking, bicycle-riding, aluminium-collecting fuckwit." "This is my shop." "What I choose to hang from its walls is my business." "And that is staying put, so clear off." " No, it ain't." " Hey!" " No, you're..." " Get off me!" "(BOTH SHOUTING)" " Shit." " Ow!" "He's got me in a hind-neck... nelson!" "I've never come across it." "Well, gentlemen, I'm going to have to split this up." "He's completely mental!" " Clean yourself up." " What?" "Do it now!" "You people have no self-control." "I wasn't the one punching him." "He punched me first!" "Hey!" "(HAL TUTTING)" "What do you think you're doing?" "What does it look like?" "Well, it looks like you're pointing a firearm at us." "You've picked on the wrong man today." "So it would seem(!" ")" " You should probably get on with it." " What?" "What?" "!" "Oh, you haven't done this before, have you?" "It's OK." "Just breathe and I'll take you through it." " Just shut up!" " Yeah, Hal, shut up!" "Right, now, your heart feels like it's swollen." "And it's beating so fast, you're worried it might burst right through your chest." "Your body's weighted, like you've been welded to the spot you stand in." "Your hands are sweating." "Spasming." "And you don't know if you're going to be able to hold onto that thing for much longer, let alone fire it." "But all of this is perfectly normal, because, you see, everything in your body is telling you to fight this." "Killing is the most difficult thing in the world." "Which is why, when you actually do it there's nothing more exhilarating." "You played God." "And it makes you feel powerful." "Invincible." " Don't even think about it!" " That feeling... doesn't last." "Soon, you realise that even if you get away with it, you'll never really... get away with it." "My conscience will cope." "No." "No, you think you'll walk away from something like this unscathed, but it's impossible." "It all clings to you." "The mess you made of him, the scars you placed on him, the blood you bathed him in, it sticks to you." "(WHISPERING) It stains you." "Do this and it won't be the last time you see his face." "You'll see him first thing in the morning, last thing at night." "And he'll be with you while you dream." "You end his life..." "and he'll invade yours." "The way I see it, there's only two ways you could know those things." "Either you're a man of God... or you're speaking from experience." "I'm not a man of God." "(SHOP DOOR CLOSES)" " Do you think he'd have done it?" " Maybe, I don't know." "Well, whatever, thanks." "You're very welcome!" "We forgot the ring." "Did we?" "Ha!" "(BANG)" "Great(!" ")" "Are you OK?" "Yeah..." " The kettle." "Little Eve..." " Is not here." "And, actually, she's usually somewhere else when this stuff starts happening." "What are you saying, Annie?" "Well, this started when you showed up." "Yes." "It's related to Leo's illness - you said so yourself." "And I still believe that to be true." "I just don't think it's Eve causing it." "I think it's you." "Don't be ridiculous!" "It's grief, Pearl." "You know that..." "Leo's..." " ... dying, and..." " (ELECTRICAL FIZZING) ...you're very upset." "Of course I'm upset." "He's my friend." "You're in love with him, Pearl." "And I know how you feel!" "I fell in love with my best friend and I lost him and it was..." "It was awful." " (RADIO BLARES)" " But if I hadn't have told him, it would've been even more unbearable." "I would've regretted it every single second of every single day." "(RAISES VOICE) I am right, aren't I?" "Yeah." "It's too late, Annie." "It's 55 years too late." "How can I possibly tell him now?" "How could you possibly not?" "!" "You have got to tell him how you feel, because you you might not get another chance." "For over half a century, I've been stuck here." "But that didn't matter, because I was stuck here with him." "He's... everything to me." "Always has been." "I don't want to be without him, Annie." "I know." "No, I know you don't." "I know you don't." "I need to talk to you." "Oh, my God." "50 years ago, you were looking at that picture and you stared straight into my eyes and said, "I just wish I'd been loved." ""I wish someone would give me a ring, just like this one. "" "I should've given this to you then." "But I was too shy." "And too scared." "And too stupid." "But I want you to have it now." "And I want you to know that you were loved." "I loved you since the moment I met you." "And I'll die loving you, Pearl." "The thing is, Leo..." "I love you too." "God, it's all moving so fast!" "It's only been 55 years(!" ")" "I had to tell you." "I couldn't leave without telling you." "No!" "Oh, God." "Oh, my God!" "Get Hal!" "Leo." "Don't you do this, don't you dare do this!" " ANNIE:" "Hal, it's Leo!" "Get up here!" " I have to go." "Let me." "Help!" "Stop him!" "Make him stop." "Leo, please." "This had to happen one day." "There's no point trying to stop it." "We've had the most amazing life together." "No." "Eve was going to save you!" "That's why we came here." "We'll try again in another ceremony." "Hal!" "It's all right." "I don't understand." "He's here." "He's ours." "You told him you loved him." "That was your unfinished business." "You're both leaving me." "Hal, I'm sorry." "I wasn't expecting this to happen." "I'll stay." " I can stay!" " No, Pearl... you might not get another chance." "That's your door." "I'll be fine." "We can't leave him on his own!" "I won't be on my own." "I'll be here." "Promise me you'll look after him, Annie." "Go." " Are you sure?" " Go." "Both of you, please, just go!" "You were the best friend I ever had." "HAL:" "You too." "Leo, I'll never forget you." "(DOOR SHUTS)" "(KNOCKS)" "So, how do you like your new room?" "You don't actually have to go through with this, you know." "Oh, no, Hal, you are staying with us." "I made a promise, and if there's anything I take very seriously, it's promises I make to disembodied spirits about looking after someone." "You'd have said anything to get Pearl and Leo through that door." "No, Hal, don't be stupid, this is your home now." "OK?" "And we're going to be very happy here, the four of us." "God." "Annie, yours is even better than mine(!" ")" "My... what?" "Your mask." "Um..." "OK." "(EVE CRYING)" "(CRYING GETS LOUDER)" "(CRYING)" "(CRYING)" "Why are you crying?" "You've got nothing to cry about." "Have you?" "(EVE GRIZZLING)" "Me, on the other hand..." "I should be crying." "(CRIES)" "My best friend is dead." "But it's difficult to shed tears over a fool." "You made a fool of him." "Do it, do it, do it." "You made fools of us all." "The Messiah." "Thought you were going to destroy us." " And do you know what?" "I welcomed it." " (CRYING)" "But now I see how ridiculous it all is." "Do it." "You're not the Saviour." " (CRYING)" " No-one's ever going to stop us." "Do it, do it, do it, do it." "What are you doing?" "(EVE CRYING)" "I don't know." "Put her down." "I wasn't going to hurt her." "Put... her... down." "She's a defenceless child, and you make me sick." "You're an animal." "I am an animal?" "!" "Jesus Christ." "I should kill you where you stand." " Then why don't you?" " I want to." "I want to so much." "I've killed dozens of ya." "It doesn't get any harder." "Just gets more enjoyable." "Then do the world a favour, Tom." "Get rid of me." "I wouldn't kill anybody in Annie's house." "And I wouldn't kill anybody in front of baby Eve." "So, today's your lucky day." "But if I ever see you again, I'll kill ya." "Now, get out." "(SIGHS)" "I'm closing in five." "(LOCK CLICKS)" "I was protecting Eve." " Where is he now?" " I don't know and I don't care." "He's very dangerous, Tom." "I think we've established that much, Annie." "Oh, this is my fault!" "If you're thinking of buying, make it quick, cos..." "What the hell do you want?" "Piss off." "He had some blood on his face." "Jesus Christ!" "Not quite!" " I'll shoot this time." "I mean it!" " Go on, then, right through the heart." "It won't stop me, it won't even slow me down." "There he is!" "My God!" "Yes." "I'd forgotten how all the others did that too - they all called for their God." "Funny - he never came." " Got her, got her, got her." " You got her?" "Count backwards from ten." "Before you know, it'll all be over." "No, please, God, no." "No, please, God, no." "I'll start you off." "Ten..." " Hal!" "Is this how you repay Leo?" " Shut up." "Not you." "Count." "Nine." "Get away from him." "Why are you doing this?" "I need to vent and I don't like him much." "Now, leave, both of you." " You promised Leo." " I don't care." "He devoted his whole life to helping you!" "He should've known we can't change." "This is what I am." " And this is what I am." " Oh, Christ." "You kill him and I'll kill you." "OK." "OK." "(SHOP BELL JANGLES)" "Schoolboy error, Tom." "Well?" "I'm waiting." "Make your move." "Stop this." " Both of you." " Annie, go home." " I don't want Eve seeing this." " (SCOFFS)" "Well, she's not going anywhere." " For God's sake, take the baby and leave." " Oh!" "You think you're men, do you?" "Huh?" "You think you're big and brave?" "You are dancing around your pain - both of you are." "Facing it head on - now, that takes real courage." "And I'm not judging you, because I've done it myself." "I've needed a god, so I created one." "But, Tom, you're right." "Eve is not a god." "And my friends have not died in some great, glorious master plan." "They just died." "And it hurts." "It really hurts." "But I can't avoid feeling this pain any longer, because avoiding it leads to this." "So, if you two want to kill each other, you will be taking one step further away from the man that your father and your friend wanted you to be." "Now, can we please go home?" "And his eyes..." "They went black." "They turned black." "And fangs." "He had fangs." "MAN:" "Black eyes... fangs." "I know what this must sound like." "I know you must think I'm mad." "But I swear it's true." " And did either of them say their names?" " Yeah, yeah." "The other guy?" "He called him Hal." "He called him what?" "ANNIE:" "Right." " Um, milk, no sugar." " Thank you very much." "And black with a splash of water." "And I went for a herbal." "Kiwi and strawberry." "It's been that sort of day." "You know, um, I was just thinking..." "If it wasn't for Eve, Leo wouldn't have come here, so he probably wouldn't have told Pearl how he felt, which means she wouldn't have been able to pass over." "I suppose so." "And, you know, she brought us three together." "So she's been responsible for quite a few miraculous things, you know, even if she isn't... the Saviour." "I'm still hoping she is." "What?" "I want it to be true." "I want her to kill us all." "Well..." "I think that covers it." " And you'll find him, yeah?" " Oh, you can count on that." "(LOCK CLICKS)" "What are you doing?" "I'm afraid there's just one more thing." "(SHRIEKING)" "(MUNCHING)" "(GURGLING)" "Something is coming for her." " This is prophecy." " This is serious." "We have enemies coming at us from every angle." "Jesus, Annie!" "Tomorrow, we're going to come back, about ten o'clock, teach your little doggy to play dead." "HAL:" "That's for me, isn't it?" "Just in case I dealt with complaints the old-fashioned way." "Are you getting weak?" "Do you need to feed?"