" Previously, on Wonderfalls." " My crappy life?" "Well-meaning, but let's just say it, overbearing parents." " Mom." " You're going to my reunion." "Of course you are." "Why wouldn't you?" " Disapproving sister." " You tell people we're not related." " It was just that one time!" " A brother who lives at home... but is still considered more successful than I am." "Hey." "Get off your ass." "You just... shut up!" "[ Clattering ]" "I'll give you 50 bucks if you let me smoke in here." "It's a $1 00 fine." "Your sister-- ever do anything like this before?" "This is her fourth arrest." "Three prior for disorderly conduct." "Mm-hmm." " I see she likes to hit people." " She's scrappy." "These scrappy types commonly keep people in their trunks?" " I admit, that's odd." " [ Inaudible ]" "Hello?" "I'm not sure how this precinct interrogates people, but generally, it's QA." "Does anybody want to talk to me?" "Hey, doll." " I'll talk to you." " Oh, please don't.!" "If I go to jail, I'll rat your ass out faster than you can say, "Boo."" " They'll think you're crazy." " I don't care." "I'm telling them." " Then do it." " I will." " Fine." " Fine!" " [ Door Opens ]" " Hello,Jaye." "I'm Officer Hale." " Hi." " Go ahead, tell her." "Got yourself into some trouble." "Yeah." " Again." " Yeah." " Help me help you." " What?" "I want to help you." "Tell me how to do it." " Uh, release me?" " [ Laughing ]" "And do you think that's funny?" "[ Laughing ]" "I wasn't speaking rhetorically." "I said, "Do you think that's funny?"" " No." " You broke the law, bitch." "And you presume to come in here and waste my time by being funny?" "Who the f" "[ No Audible Dialogue ]" "Because I can arrange to kick your ass!" "[ Gasping ]" "Now, I didn't like that any more than you did." "I don't enjoy raising my voice to people." "I enjoy respecting people." "I enjoy communicating with people." "We gonna be able to communicate,Jaye?" " [ Gulping ] Yes." " Good." " [ Grunts ]" " That makes me happy." " You don't have anything to hide, do you?" " Nuh-uh." "And you don't feel you need a lawyer or" " Uh" " Good!" "So let's communicate." "Tell me about the last time you saw your family's housekeeper." "Before she turned up in your trunk." "You might want to hold that at the bottom." "There's no reason for you to be talking." "So shut your little mouth." "Just shut it!" "Only trying to help." " Hi." " Hello." "Sorry, I'm-- I'm P.M.S.'ing." "That'll do it." "[ Grunts ]" "Jaye!" "Wait a minute!" "Hold the door!" "Hold the door!" " Good morning, sweetheart." " Hi." " Bonjour." " Bonjour, Yvette." " Sit, I make you a pancake." " They're very good." "She put figs in the batter." "No thanks." "Wish I could, but here's my laundry." "Oh, sit down and have some breakfast." " I can't." " Always in such a rush." "Never stay more than five minutes." "I'm beginning to think you're trying to avoid spending time with your family." "Uh, no." "I just don't want to be late for work." "That's it." "The store doesn't open for another hour." "I admire your work ethic." "That boy who runs things?" "What's his name?" " Mouth-breather?" " Well, he said there's room for improvement... but he's generally been very happy with your performance." "Why are you talking to the mouth-breather about my performance?" "I called you at work." "He answered the phone." " Seemed rude not to have a conversation." " Of course it did." "Sweetheart, Dr. Ron asked about you the other day." "You really should go back and see him." "Avoiding your little stress issue won't make it go away." "It will, if we stop talking about it." "Chérie, you look too pale." "Have a pancake." " I don't want a pancake." " Moo.!" "Have a pancake." "I don't want a pancake." " Then have some fruit." " Just file the motion." "I will call you back." " Mother?" "A word?" " Aren't you supposed to be in court?" "Yes, but now I'm here." "A word!" "[ Sighs ]" " Thank you for breakfast, Yvette." " Oh, you're welcome, Mr. Tyler." " I hope one day you can join us, sweetheart." " I don't want a pancake." "I don't want a pancake." "I don't want a pancake." "I don't want a pancake!" "Yvette, can you make me a pancake?" "I'll make sure yours gets lots of figs in it." "Were you just talking to the cow creamer?" " [ Sizzling ]" " No." "'Cause it looked like you were." " Well, I wasn't." " Mm-hmm." " My God, how could you let this happen?" " It's not my fault." " Oh, my God.!" " Yvette, stop what you're doing." "You need to go with Sharon now." "Her toilet's flooded." "It's an emergency." "By emergency, do you mean there's poop everywhere?" "Yes, Aaron." "There's poop everywhere." "Come on, let's go!" " I've only just poured the batter." " I'm supposed to have a pancake." "She should eat." "You worry about her being thin." " Does she have time for a pancake?" " No!" "No time for a pancake, sweetheart." "Good morning, sir." "I'm Officer Donikian." " I'm with the B.C.I.S." " Oh!" "You must be looking for Sharon." "She's in the kitchen." "Go right on in." "I'm late for a colecystectomy." "Not mine." "Somebody else's." "Keep up the good work." "Just let her have a pancake." "The poop's not goin' anywhere." "Now, Yvette.!" "We have to go now.!" " It's almost finished!" "Look, bubbles." " Yeah." "Mother, why?" "Morning." "I'm Officer Donikian." "This is Officer Arnold." "We're with the B.C.I.S." " Who?" " The Bureau of Citizenship and Immigration Services." " Who?" " The I.N.S." " Oh." " We're looking for Yvette LaJimodiere." " She's not here." " I'm Yvette LaJimodiere." "Ms. LaJimodiere, we have a warrant for your deportation." "I was hopin' this was one of those odorless, cocaine cows." "I've never seen one of them before." " Sorry." " So." " What's with the cow?" " I like cows." "They're docile, and keep to themselves." " Most of the time." " Mm-hmm." "Any reason you're fond of this particular cow?" "My sister sort of responded to it." "She doesn't..." "respond to other cows?" "Not like this." "Ew." "Get it off!" "." "Is this triggering recovered memories or somethin'?" "No." "No!" "It's just it's" "It's dirty." "And there are already too many things here with faces." "You're bein' weird." "Why are you bein' weird?" "Are your pupils dilated?" "I expect the entitled invasion of privacy from Mom and Dad and what's-her-name... but not from you." "This is not an isolated incident." "The last time you were at the house... you got mad at those little pig-shaped salt-and-pepper shakers." "Is this about farm animals, or is it about condiments?" " Lay off the pipe." " No, no, no." "Strange men come into our house, like those homosexuals who do makeovers, and just" "Just took Yvette." "They took her." " And you didn't even blink!" " I blinked." "I blinked plenty!" "I'm sad Yvette got deported." "She cooked and did things." " She practically raised us." " I said I was sad." "I'm gonna miss her." " I miss her already." " Moo." " Bring her home." " You're doin' it again." "No, I'm not." "I mean, doing what?" "[ Cow ] Bring her home." "Bring her home." "Bring her home." "Bring her home." " I'm just gonna put that in the bag." " Bring her home." " Why?" "Is it talking to you?" " Would you listen to yourself?" " [ Muffled ] Bring her home." "Bring her home.!" " So!" " What are you gonna do?" " What do you mean, what am I gonna do?" "Well, you have to bring Yvette home." "She practically raised us." " You should do something." " [ Cow ] Bring her home." "Hey, why don't you talk to Sharon?" "She's an immigration attorney, for God's sakes." "She might surprise us all and be useful." "Come on!" "Who do you think got Yvette deported?" "What?" "What?" "We have sent a message to our illegal population... that our immigration laws cannot be ignored." "However, I assure you that no one's rights have been violated." "[ Reporters Chattering ]" "I'd just like to add that the United States has a generous program... for legal immigration, to which all aspiring Americans are welcome to avail themselves." "[ Aaron ] You're a horrible, horrible person." "[Jaye ] Yvette practically raised you." "I didn't even know she was illegal till this morning." "She's been living here on an expired visa since 1 982." "That's the summer she took me to see E. T. and told me I had boobs." "You must be kickin' yourself." "You could have got her deported a long time ago." "I could have gotten her citizenship, you ass!" "This is not my fault." "It's not like I reported her." " She was on a list." " So it's her fault she lied and got caught." "If we're being brutally honest, then yes." " Hi." " Hi." "They deported two busboys and a dishwasher." "They took our housekeeper." "Did you meet my sister, Sharon?" " This is all her fault." " Nice to meet you." "I saw you on the news." " You're a horrible person." " [ Sighs ]" " Oh, and, uh, thanks." " You're welcome." " See?" "Everybody blames you." " So strange." "Because I blame you." "[ Scoffs ] Is that a fact?" "You needed to have that pancake?" "Was it worth it?" "Was it the best pancake ever?" " I hope so." " This is not about breakfast food." "It is about breakfast food." "I was trying to get Yvette out of the house... but you had to have that pancake!" "Yeah, you were really weird with that whole pancake thing." "Can't you just fix it?" "You know, like before they ship her off to Mexico or whatever?" "I tried." "She's gone." "They are putting her on a bus." "They are kicking her out of the country." " And they are not letting her back." " Crap." "It was the pancake." "Stupid cow." "Selfish bitch." " [ Hissing ]" " I love them." "I do." "But they can be mean-spirited." "I wouldn't say they were mean people, but they can be mean-spirited." "They used to ignore me for hours." "Wh-When we were much younger." "If they did that to me now, I'd" " I'd leave the room." "[ Chuckles ]" "You think the way this went-- what it evolved into-- might have been a personal attack on you?" "No." "[ Laughing ]" "God, no." "The thing I've learned about Aaron and Jaye... is that it's-- it's never about me." " Ever." " It's like I'm listenin' to my own life story." " I got a couple of sisters" " Except right now." "Right now, it is about me." "[ Chuckles ]" "I did everything in my power, short of breaking the law... to keep Yvette in this country." " That fine's not per cigarette, is it?" " Nah." "You know, I put my ass on the line." "And that wasn't good enough for them." "No, Mike." "It wasn't." "And now, she's in some serious trouble." " Yeah." "Real serious." " [ No Audible Dialogue ]" "She could go down for this." "How far down?" "This is a mistake!" "You were at the naturalization ceremony... when Yvette took the Pledge of Allegiance." "She's as American as any of us!" "There was no naturalization ceremony." "She failed that little U.S.A. test three times." " What are you talking about?" " She's not American." "She's French-Canadian." "At least, that's the same continent." " And how long have you known this?" " A while." "Since we hired her." "So you've been lying to your entire family about this for 20 years?" "I haven't been lying the whole time." "There was that initial lie... and then I never bothered to tell you the truth" " I am not proud of it." "I knew she should have gone to that citizenship class." "I couldn't have her in school all day." "There were things that needed to be done." " I'm just sick about this." " Well, how do you think I feel?" " Like a liar, I would imagine." " This is why..." "I was afraid to tell you-- I knew you'd be upset." "Do you know how embarrassing this is for Sharon?" "She looks like an ass." "I look like an ass." "I play golf with politicians... who feel very strongly about this issue." " We employed an illegal alien!" " Oh, don't be such a drama queen." " Can't you just make a phone call?" " No!" "No, I can't just make a phone call." "This is not some victimless crime." "The money you've been paying to Yvette could have gone... to an American minority worker or someone who doesn't have a high school diploma." "But we didn't like those minority workers." "We liked Yvette." " She's the one that we invited into our home." " And then told her to clean it." "Sorry." "It's just very, very sad." "I am very sad." "Sharon, go talk to your father." "You're his favorite." " I thought I was his favorite." " We don't have favorites." "Can't we just go get her and smuggle her back?" "It is only Canada." "Your father would have an aneurysm." "So we just stick her in a storage unit, with a mini-fridge... and a Porto-potty, until he cools off." "Or a hotel." "The important thing is we bring her home." "That's what we need to do." "That's our goal." "I realize that, sweetheart, but" "I'll give you all the cash I have in my purse." " [ Unzipping ]" " He's very upset." " I'm making tea." " Let me help you." "So, that bus Yvette is on." "Where do you suppose that's going?" "[ Slides Clicking ]" "I remember one time Yvette saying she was from Canada... but I sort of stopped listening after that." "I guess she was really poor, and, uh, lived very much "like my little chérie, Miss Jaye."" "Stop it." "She did not say that." "You know she did." "She was an only child, and had no friends... and when she was 1 6, a babyJesus ornament ignited the Christmas tree... and burned the entire house down." "Her parents died in the fire." "Oh, my God." "Oh, my God!" "Why does everything have to be so dramatic?" "I know." "Right?" "[ Chuckles ]" " [ Man ] I'll get it." " Can you imagine if the babyJesus killed Mom and Dad?" " God, that'd suck." " Yeah." "I'd be devastated." "My life would never be the same." " Yeah." " And you know Sharon's gonna throw herself on Dad's coffin..." " when it goes into the ground." " Yep." "You know, somehow, I don't think the folks' dying... is gonna have that big an impact on your life." " What?" " You're not gonna be throwin' yourself on anyone's coffin." " That doesn't make me a bad person." " Not at all." "But you are insulated." "You wear your trailer park, hillbilly lifestyle... around your neck like a ring of garlic." "Are you trying to ward us off?" "Mom and Dad have no concept of boundaries." "I'm sorry, but they drive me crazy with their constant interest about everything." "You do know she goes through your stuff all the time." "Like all the time." "How can you stand living there?" "Well, it helps that I don't pay rent." "Well, you're turning into them." "You're turning into Mom and Dad, with your constant interest." "I'm not interested." "I'm concerned." "Well, can't you just keep it to yourself?" "I thought you and I had an unspoken agreement... never to get into each other's business uninvited." " I never said that." " That's why it's unspoken, dumbass." "Okay." "Well." "If you won't talk to me..." "Okay." "Well." "If you won't talk to me... will you talk to this?" "[ Whistles ]" " You're scarin' me." " Oh, boo-hoo." " Because I don't like your stupid cow creamer?" " Because you won't talk to me!" "Hey, how's it goin'?" "Good." "How, um, how are you?" "Oh,just nifty, eh?" "Is there a problem?" "Are you having second thoughts about visiting our little country?" " No, no." "We're just, uh" " We're just, uh, looking for our passports." " Is that them there?" " Oh!" "[ Chuckles ]" " [ Sighs ] Look at that." " Snake woulda bit ya, eh?" " It sure would." " Well, if you like, you can pull on forward there..." " and I'll see to it that you're taken care of." " Great!" "Passports, please!" "Thank you." " Business or pleasure?" " Pleasure?" "When an agent of a sovereign nation asks you these questions... you're instructed to answer truthfully." "It's the law." "Do you think you're above the law,Jaye?" "Not really." "I mean, I got arrested, didn't I?" " Did you just give me tone?" " Nope." "There was no tone." "You entered a foreign country under false pretenses with the intent to commit a crime." "I actually haven't admitted that, so you can't put that down." "But you do admit that you were driving the vehicle." "And the vehicle you were driving was yours." "And at no time during your stay... with our neighbors to the north did someone else drive your vehicle." " Can I put that down?" " Sure." "Jaye!" "No sign of her." "The woman at the ticket counter said the bus from Buffalo... dropped everyone off two hours ago." " Oh, my God." " What?" "Guy just blew his nose on the ground." " I thought Canadians were supposed to be clean." "Just don't make eye contact." " So, what do we do now?" " I guess we work our way up and down the streets." "Canvassing the 'hood." "We look for hotels, motels-- all-night diners, women's shelters-  anyplace she might seek" " Oh, there she is!" " Yvette.!" " Children!" "[ Sighs ]" " But what are you doing here?" " We came to take you home." " I have not a home." " 'Course you have a home." "And it's getting dirtier by the minute without you." "We should go." "The import officials have taken from me my passport." " Ah, you don't need that." " They will send me to jail." "They told me this." "Only if you get caught." "Which you won't." "'Cause you'll be in the trunk." "See?" "We got pillows and a blanket in there." "Ahh!" "Your teddy bear blankie!" "They're Ewoks." "This is a most beautiful kindness, but it is too dangerous." " No, it's fine!" "I tested it." " Not this danger, chérie." "The danger is to your family." "To your parents." "To your sister, no?" "Mom wants you back." "Dad will get over it, and Sharon" " Sharon's a bitch." " I don't want to hear these words from your mouth to your sister." " Yes, Yvette." " She has a good heart." "That maybe beats too fast." "Please, give to your father this." "It is my key." "Also, a birthday card." "You give it to him." "On his birthday." "In eight months." "[ Crying ] I know when is his birthday!" "It was all they had at the bus station." "I had to say good-bye." "And I'm sorry." "Please." "Take it." "Fine." "But we're not leaving you in this bus station." "A hundred and forty-four dollars." "That's everything Mom gave us." "One hundred and forty-four U.S." "It will go further here." "I will have a very nice room." " Do you have your A.T.M. card?" " I just use it to clean my nails." " I don't actually have any money." " You have to have some." " Uh, I actually pay rent." " Children, please." " Don't fight." " Moo.!" " Bring her home." " I can't." "She won't let me." " She won't let you what?" " Nothing." "You weren't even talking to us, were you?" "Does your mother know you took her creamer?" " [ Cow ] Right on red." " What?" "Right on red." "Right on red." "Right on red." "Right on red!" " Right on red." "Moo!" " [ Aaron ] What are you doing?" " I don't know!" " It's one way!" " I know.!" "I know.!" " It's one way.!" " [ Horn Honking, Tires Squealing ]" " Jaye, what are you doing?" "[ All Screaming ]" "Jaye!" "Hold it!" "What are you-- - [ Screaming ]" " Oh, my God!" " Wait a minute." "Whoa, whoa." "[ Screaming ]" "Ah!" "Is anyone hurt?" " Are you all right?" " We're fine." "Sorry about your yard." "My God." "My God, I don't believe it." "[ Drops French Accent ] Hello, Mother." ""Bring her home."" "No way!" " My God." " Dad." "My daughter." "I thought they were supposed to be dirt-poor." " These people aren't even French." " Or dead." "I can't believe it's you." "Cindy." "Cindy?" "Why, she's just a great, big liar." " Awesome." " You knew about this." " What?" "No." " You expect me to believe we just ended up... on Yvette's dead parents'-weren't- really-dead lawn just by chance?" "I honestly don't care what you believe." "Well, of course I care what you believe." "So, anyway" "You've come home." "You should have told us." "We would have understood why you ran away." " [ Softly ] She ran away?" " You were pregnant." "I'm your grandfather, Fred." "And this is your grandmother, Helen." "Call me "Nanoo" Helen." " I don't wish to." " Mom, Dad." "Jaye and Aaron aren't my children." "So, you employ my daughter, do you?" "So, you employ my daughter, do you?" "She works for our parents." "I see." "She's more a member of the family than anything else." "I'm the Tylers' housekeeper, Dad." " But she practically raised us." " That's not true." "Your parents raised you." " Don't ever think otherwise." " Well, that's good." "If their family can afford a live-in housekeeper... they certainly will have no trouble paying for the damage done to the lawn." "Thank you, Yvette." "[ Helen ] I'm sorry we don't have anything proper to serve you." "[Jaye ] It's fine." "We're fine." " Yeah." "These are great." " If you had called" "It was a spur of the moment thing." " After 20 years, a phone call" " You're right." "Should have called." "I'm sorry." "Let's do it again another time when it's more convenient." "These kids have a long drive, but it's late." " Uh, children, let's go." " Yes, leave." "That's what you do best." "How would you know what I do best?" " You don't know a thing about me." " How could we?" "In 20 years, we received half-a-dozen postcards." "Which is more than I received from you in all the time I was under this roof." "Mm." "Moist." " We gave you everything." " Everything except what I needed, which was you." "What was the word I spelled to win the fifth grade spelling bee?" "[ Scoffs ]" "Of course,you can't be expected to remember... something you never knew." " 'Cause you weren't there." " Do you have any idea what you put us through?" "What I put you through?" "I wasn't gone two hours, and these children came to another country to find me." "But you?" "I spent four months in a local youth hostel... praying you'd find me." " Did you even bother to call the police?" " You were willful." "I was lonely." "So lonely." "You never wanted a child." "[ Sighs ] I was raised by teachers and camp counselors... and the help" "If I was good at leaving, it's because you held the door." "Say something." " It's okay." "Let's just go." " [Jaye ] It's not okay.!" "It's not supposed to be like this." "It was very sweet of you to do this,Jaye." "I didn't do this." "I didn't bring you here." "I'm not" "I'm gonna kill that cow!" " Hope you're happy. 'Cause nobody else is." " Come on!" "Open the door." " What good did this do?" "Jaye!" "Open the door!" " Open the door!" " You make me bring her all the way here..." "just so she can feel like crap?" " Please, stop talkin' to that creamer!" " What the hell's wrong with her?" " Nothin'." "There's nothin' wrong with her, all right?" " Go away!" " She's cracked." " You shut up!" " You will not speak to my wife like that.!" " I'm not gonna argue with you about this." " How dare you speak like that" " Come on,Jaye." "Please." " Are you the cow of pain?" "Are you?" " Bring her home." " What?" "Bring her home." "I would like to know what you're gonna do about this garden.!" "[ All Arguing ]" "[ Yvette ] You're so cheap.!" " What are you taking their side for?" " I told you to shut up!" "And that's when you assaulted him." " Uh, not exactly." " [ Grunts ]" " Fred!" " Get in the car." "You don't screw with my family." "Hey." "No one's more surprised than me on that." "Honest." "Fine." "You want to call the police?" "We'll call the police." "Now are you ready to go home?" "Chérie." "It's the tomato cut up the way you like." "And on the good bread." "It's for your trip, chérie." "Oblique." "That was the word you spelled." "Thank you." "Hop in." " You laid that guy out." " I barely tapped him." "Old people go down easy." " Did the cow tell you to hit him?" " No." "Shut up!" "All right." "I sense you're not ready to talk about this." " My God!" "It's like we're connected." " We are." "Which is why I just have to say, as your brother..." "I'm gonna be relentless until you tell me what's goin' on with you." "God, as if I knew." "Look innocent." "Passports." "You bringing'any produce into the country?" "Produce?" "No." "Any undeclared purchases?" " No." " Anything else I should know?" " What?" " Is there anything else I should know?" "Nothing else you should know." " Go ahead." " Thank you." " Is it clear yet?" " Don't see anything." " Okay, then we're-- - [ Siren Blaring ]" " Dead." " [ Sirens Blaring, Tires Screeching ]" "Get out of the vehicle." "Put your hands in the air." "Put down the weapon." "Put down the weapon!" " It's a cow." " Put it down." "How did they know?" "Bitch." "[ Woman Chattering On Police Radio ]" "[ Rap, Indistinct ]" " [ Door Opening ]" " Say I'm your lawyer." " [ Scoffs ] No." " Say I'm your lawyer so we can talk privately." "Say it." "She's my lawyer." "Well, if it isn't the squealer." "Thanks for squealing, squealer." " How am I a squealer?" " Uh, could it be the squealing?" "You ambushed us with the fuzz!" "You're all backlit and evil, smoking like that guy on The X Files." "You ratted out your own brother and sister." "Is this because we like each other better than we like you?" " You are hateful." " You're hateful." "The blonde one's queer." "Look at her." "Fingernails are a dead giveaway." " [ No Audible Dialogue ]" " Cut all nice and short." "Clean cuticle beds." "Lesbians always trim their nails like that." "You know why?" "You actually think I tipped the police." " You were there waiting with them." " That's because they tipped me." "I knew you'd try to do something stupid like this." "Which is why I tagged your name, so when it came up in the system..." " I'd know about it." " And then you just dropped everything..." " and came charging to the rescue?" " You're my sister." "When are they gonna release me?" "You might not want to think of release so much as parole." "Which I'm sure you'll be eligible for at some point." " The Canadians are furious." " Furious Canadians." "Does that even work?" "They've already filed for extradition." "Sharon." "This is your one chance to redeem yourself." "I don't care how you do it, but you cannot let them send her back there." " Not Yvette." "You." " Me?" " They want to send me to Canada?" " To face charges!" "Reckless endangerment, vandalism, assault..." " driving the wrong way on a one-way street" " Okay." "I get it." "I don't think you do!" "After they're finished with you there... the United States will probably bring you back here... to answer for attempted smuggling." "You are wanted in two countries!" "Guess it's a lucky thing I got me a good lawyer, huh?" "Actually, you might want to consider new representation." "[ Sighs ] I don't think I can stop this,Jaye." "I'll be okay." "Just try to get Aaron out." " He's already out." " Bastard!" "He sang?" "No, you admitted to driving the car." "Oh." "I sang." "There's like six Law and Orders on the air now." "Have you not seen one of them?" "And I guess they already sent Yvette back?" "Hilariously enough, she gets to stay." " She does?" " In a U.S. jail, until her identity can be established." "D-Did you know her real name's like Cindy something?" " [ Scoffs ] Cindy." " Yeah." " [ Buzzer Sounding ]" " I'm really sorry about all this." "I'm sorry I asked for that pancake." "Sorry I got you deported." "Sorry I made such a mess of things." "Sorry about your parents and sticking you in the trunk." "I'm just really, really sorry." "I'm not." "Okay, maybe about the trunk thing" "Not the rest of it." "I feel like I'm free, finally." "Okay, well, that's just ironic." "I never thought I'd see them again." "But every day for 20 years, I wondered if I made a mistake." "Now I know I didn't." "So you recommend this whole running away from your family thing, then?" " 'Cause I've kind of been considering it." " [ Chuckling ]" "Dear, I've met your family." "You may have wheels on your house, but it's not gonna help." "I guess you're right." "I think Mom had a LoJack surgically implanted in me when I was born." "And now that I'm being shipped off to Canadian justice, I'm kinda glad." "At least now they'll know where to send me stuff." "You'll always be taken care of." "I guess that's true." " Cindy?" " Yeah." "I have a confession to make." " What's that?" " I miss Yvette." "[ In French Accent ] And she misses you, chérie." " [ Door Opening ]" " Tyler.!" "Let's go." "[ Buzzer Sounding ]" "So, is Canada still ruled by the queen of England?" "Because, if the judges there are gonna be wearing wigs... as an American, I might have an issue with that." "You're not goin' to Canada." "Ever again, possibly." "They put a restriction on your passport." " What?" " Charges have been dropped." "You're goin' home." "Mom!" "You sprung me." "How?" "Oh, it wasn't me, dear." "I take back every bad thing I've ever said about you." "You're the best lawyer a sister could have." "How'd you pull it off?" "I made tea." " You made tea?" " Please." "It wasn't her." "[ Audio Reverses ]" "I am very sad." "Sharon, go talk to your father." "You're his favorite." " [ Aaron ] I thought I was his favorite." " We don't have favorites." "[Jaye ] Can't wejust go get her and smuggle her back?" " You okay?" " She's been with us for over 20 years." "We practically raised her." "Let me make you some tea." "[ Phone Beeping, Line Ringing ]" "Sidney." "Darrin." "You feel like a game of golf?" "[ Audio Fast-forwards ]" " I made tea." " You made tea?" "Please." "It wasn't her." "Your father's very upset." "Make sure you thank him." "He compromised his principles." "And wrote a very large check to the Bradleys." "Cindy's parents." "How am I ever gonna adapt to that name?" "Daddy's girl." "[ Exhales ]" "You weren't mistreated, were you?" " Uh-uh." " [ Aaron ] I wasn't either." " They didn't mistreat me." " You owe me $4,500." "American or Canadian?" "I'm sorry I made you compromise your principles." "The first principle is always family." "You take care of them first." " You ready?" " [ French Accent ] Oui, Mr. Tyler." "Yes." "Yes." "How did you-- That's like magic!" "Your father had a little round of midnight golf." "He arranged a limited amnesty for Yvette." " Cindy." " And this time, she's gonna pass that test..." " and become a proud American." " Yes, Mr. Tyler." "Let's go home." "Cindy." "Cindy, Cindy." "Hmm." " [ Car Approaching ] - [ Door Closes ]" "Thank you." " Good morning, girls." " [ Together] Good morning, Daddy." " Name the branches of government." " [ Sharon ] I know." "Well, of course you know." "You're already an American." "Executive, legislative and judicial." "Now, I govern these branches." "Who am I?" " You are the Constitution." " Hey." "So where do you want your Ewok linens?" " Oh, could you put those in my room?" " How 'bout I throw them over here?" " Sweetheart, you're staying?" " The store doesn't open for another hour." "And the mouth-breather doesn't come in until noon." "I plan on being late." " Oh!" "[ Chuckles ]" " Can I have a pancake?" " It would be my pleasure." " [ Sharon ] Oh, my God." "Jaye's staying for pancakes?" "So?" "Hey, what happened to the cow creamer?" "Aaron broke it." "You realize it was a Limoges?" " It still works." " The Constitution adopted by the first 1 3 states was" " The Articles of Confederation." " [ All Congratulating ]" "Name the group of officials who advise the president." " Uh" " You just cleaned it." " The Cabinet?" " Yes!" "What are the two major American political parties?" "The Republicans and the G.O.P." " Perfect!" " Dad!" " Dad!" " What?" "[ Chattering ]" "[ Cackling ]"