"Previously on Studio 60:" "She went into shock?" "We closed her up, but what's developed is DIC which is a scary way of saying that she won't clot." "Yeah, it worked." "I'm scared." "About 20 minutes ago, we found out that Tom's brother was one of three airmen captured on a road out of Kandahar." "There's a company you've never heard of called Trask Security." "They're well-connected in the Near East." "Who are they?" "They deal with the locals." "They deal with them how?" "They bring a bag of money and they get the guy back." "Are you stupid?" "How about I do my job and bust you in your head?" "You guys like making this entertainment?" "Come on, it's the Sunset Strip." "STUDIO 60 ON THE SUNSET STRIP season 1 episode 21" "No comment." "" "I need you to wait out here." "Well." "You got a guard out there." "Uh-- yeah." "In case I try to escape?" "Quite sure to protect you." "From what?" "***." "Sir" ""No wonder those guys want to kill us." "I live here, and I want to kill us."" "That's what you said, right, Simon?" "I honestly don't remember what I said." "You don't have to." "It was on TV." "It's still on TV." "And unless we do something now, I mean right now, then starting Monday it'll be on TV a lot." "What do you want to do?" "I think you should kill yourself." "The guy who used to work here was being interviewed a few hours ago." "He said that Tom and Mark were estranged, which isn't true." "Yeah?" "This was upsetting to Tom." "He wanted the story dealt with, and he asked me if I could talk to someone." "Yeah." "Say, does Danny have anything to drink around here?" "Danny's an alcoholic." "His girlfriend's bleeding in the hospital, her daughter's born two weeks early," "Tom's brother is taken hostage by the Taliban and the star of one of his shows just went on television to declare his allegiance to al-Qaeda." "He didn't keep anything around for special occasions?" "I declared my allegiance to al-Qaeda?" ""No wonder those guys want to kill us." "I live here, and I want to kill us."" "It got out of hand." " Yeah, you think?" "I was trying to help Tom." "I was trying to deal with the story." "Yeah, about Tom and Mark being estranged." "I asked Leon Cushman from the Post to meet me in the alley by the **." "Why Cushman?" "He's a stand-up guy." "We have a relationship." "I told him the story wasn't true, and it was upsetting Tom, and could he help me." "I answered a couple of simple questions, but before I could get inside, the rest of them found us." "Were they blocking the door?" "The press?" " Yeah." "No." " Then why didn't you go back inside?" "I tried, but they" " Why didn't you go back inside?" "Somebody shouted a question." "I answered it." "And then somebody else shouted a question." "I answered it." "I kept trying to get back in, but" "They were blocking the door?" "Jack!" "Why the hell didn't you go back inside?" "Because then a guy asked me if NBS leaked the story to boost our West coast overnights." "And you lost it." " Yeah." "We're gonna draft an apology right now." "No." " No what?" "I'm not gonna apologize." "Ugh, you know, man, it's 3 am." "Don't go 'round and 'round with me." "I'll stop if you will." "The place is surrounded by reporters." "Don't call them reporters." "It's an insult to reporters." "I can start damage control now, before now turns into Monday." "Well, go ahead." "You'll read an apology?" " No." "Simon, I don't think you understand how egregiously offensive..." "I'm a pretty bright guy." "I think I have a full understanding of my situation." "We're gonna draft an apology and you're gonna read it." "I don't care if you draft the Gettysburg Address." "I'm not reading anything." "Forget the hell that's about to rain down on this network and on this show." "I'm standing here telling you:" "You're never gonna work again!" "Ever!" "You and Michael Richards can open a taco stand together!" "Jack" " Yeah?" "Fire me, or shut the hell up." "He really doesn't keep anything to drink in here?" "You found some." "Yeah." "Where?" "In your dressing room." "Here." "You need a minute?" "What?" "Do you need a minute to get yourself together?" "I'm together." "You don't feel suicidal?" "Why the hell would I feel suicidal?" "You told the press you're feeling suicidal and homicidal." ""No wonder those guys want to kill us." "I want to kill us." "You've calmed down?" " Yeah." "Now I only want to kill you." "Hey, you can spar with me as much as you want." "Before the sun comes up, you're going to apologize." "You want to bet?" " Uh-huh, sure." "Yeah?" " Mm." "My paycheck against yours." "Oh, I'm already not doing it." "Do you want to incentivize me not to do it?" "I've got complete confidence in myself." "And..." " No confidence in you." "Have you seen who it is that's out there?" "The press that's out there?" " Yeah." "The entertainment press." "The same ones who cover our wrap party to see who Jeannie's going home with." " Yeah." "And somebody reports that Mark Jeter's Tom's brother." "That's when it became a big story." " Yeah." "Without the ties to a Hollywood TV star, just three guys who are going to die." " Yeah." "This makes it user-friendly." "Hey, I oversee a network news division." "You think you're telling me something I don't know?" "Would you agree that announcing that one of the captured airmen is the brother of a Hollywood TV star put Mark's life in greater danger?" "I did everything I could to keep that off the air." "Why?" " Because it puts Mark's life in greater danger." "So you would agree." "I screamed at people, Simon." "I begged them." "That must have been like standing at the bottom of Niagara Falls and begging it to go up." "It was." "They make the capture of three U.S. troops a showbiz story, and in the process, casually put the three of them in greater danger." "And then they ask me if we're manipulating the story for our benefit?" "There are some situations that call for being impolite." "You said "Fire me or shut up," right?" "A few minutes ago?" "I did." "Why do you think I haven't fired you?" "I really don't..." " 'Cause I agree with you." "Good." " I understand." "Good." " Good." "Now go out and apologize." "You've got to be kidding." " Not even a little." "Why?" " Because we're doing it right this time!" "Simon, we're doing it right this time!" "When Matt and Danny had to leave five years ago," "I wasn't the bad guy." "I was the guy telling them what I'm telling you now." "And that was over a sketch-- a relatively benign sketch." "All they had to do was apologize." "I'm glad you brought this up." "There is something I've always wanted to tell you." "What?" "You broke your word." "You made a deal with them, and you broke your word, and that's why they lost their jobs five years ago." "Mm." "There's something I've always been meaning to tell you." "What?" " You're really very stupid." "I made a deal with them, and they lost their job because I kept my word." "Bobcat Willy and the Studio 60 Band." "Give it up!" "All right, welcome to the first dress rehearsal of our first show of the 2001-2002 season of Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip." "Give yourselves a round of applause." "All right, who's a little worried we might get blown up tonight?" "And who's a little worried about my doing jokes about getting blown up tonight?" "Now, you may have read a few weeks ago that our executive producer Wes Mendell had a small medical problem." "His heart stopped." "Um, but they got him up and running." "He's home this week while the show is being produced by Matt Albie our senior writer and Daniel Tripp..." "You know, really you could just say," ""Matt, may I have your attention for a moment?"" "Did you hear that?" "What?" " Simon during the warm-up just now." "It's a pretty mixed reception to a joke about getting blown up." "Ah, it was an ice-breaker." "Don't do the sketch." " It's just the dress." "You and Danny have done a great job running the show this week." "Thank you." "Why take chances now?" " I'm not." "You are." "Listen to me." "You got roughed up a couple of weeks ago when you stood up for Bill Maher, and now this?" "Now what?" "The sketch." "If it makes you feel any better, Danny and I have a deal with Jack Rudolph." "What's the deal?" " There will be ad reps at the dress-- if any of 'em object to the sketch, we'll cut it before it gets on the air." "If they don't, we'll put it on." "He gave us his word." " That's not good enough." "I trust Jack." " I meant it's not good enough to protect you." "Even if you just do it at dress, word's going to get out." "Oh!" "Hit the end of the line, Jeannie, drive through." "You know what I'm talking about, right?" " Yeah, Matt." "The sketch isn't radioactive." "I believe that it is, and I believe that you believe that it is." "Then I appreciate you saving me the trouble of thinking." "You all know Harriet Hayes, everybody!" "The country is united right now." "It's a sketch about Harvard executives pushing patriotic movies to Karl Rove." "It's not Reds." " I want you to ask yourself something." "Really ask yourself." " What?" "Are you doing the sketch to get back at me?" "Okay." "Okay what?" " I've asked myself and the answer came back," ""I don't know what the hell you're talking about."" "Are you doing the sketch to get back at me?" "No." " No what?" "No, ma'am?" "Matt..." " I'm doing this because the White House in the middle of a war sent the second-most-powerful man in the world to Hollywood to pitch movie ideas." "That's not what happened!" "Look, I'm all for fighting a global war on terror." "I'm Jewish!" "I wanted to kill Arabs long before any of you!" "Everything's going to be fine tonight." "Uh, enjoy the dress rehearsal." "Willy, take us to the starting line." "I just don't think making Rambo Goes To Jalalabad is gonna do the trick." "Neither will making fun of patriotism, but I don't care about that." "That poses an interesting question." "What?" " What do you care about?" "Right now?" " Yeah." "You." "I want you to take over the show when Wes retires 'cause that's what you want." "I don't think you're allowed to sleep with Luke and care about what I want both at the same time." "Well, whether I'm allowed to or not, that's the way it is, and the sketch is gonna get cut after dress anyway, so don't do it." "Harry." "Matt." "Go do Holly Hunter." "I have turned some corner somewhere." "I am actually starting to repel men I'm trying to seduce." "What are you doing?" "Cheering you up with a little Holly Hunter." "Yeah?" "It's what I'm here for." "How is it no one's ever hit you in the head with a potato?" "I duck and weave, baby." "Doctor." "You see the baby?" " Yeah." "She's a beaut." " I'll say." "She's getting a bath now." "First of many." "Any change with Jordan?" "No, not yet." "She's still bleeding?" "It's as if she's a hemophiliac." "We need to get her to clot." "And aside from just hoping that happens, what are we..." "Well, we're giving her blood transfusions." "And the hospital's got enough blood?" " Sure." "And..." " what else?" "They're administering an aggressive clotting drug called Novoximal-20." "It helps a patient's overstressed body remember how to clot again." "It hasn't been FDA approved, but they've seen some..." " It hasn't been FDA approved?" "Not yet." " They're using an experimental drug?" "It sounds worse than it is." "We're going to stop saying that now." "It sounds worse than it is." "What's her classification?" "I'm sorry?" " You classify patients." "Stable, serious, what's..." " Those are definitions that we use to..." "What is her classification, Jess?" "Critical." "Any change?" "No." "Jack's got Simon sequestered in your office." "He's trying to beat a public apology out of him." "Hmm?" "Nothing." "I'm going to do a little Juliette Lewis for a while." "Really?" "Yeah." "Hey." "Hey, I was just checking on Tom's parents." "How are they?" " They're sleeping now." "The chaplain was in there." "How are you?" "Me?" " Yeah." "I'm fine." "I've been wearing the same clothes for 20 hours." "Yeah, we've got a room in wardrobe storage-- sweats and T-shirts and stuff." "Thanks." "I appreciate your hanging around for this." "We're a full-service law firm." "Yeah, well, you're connected to some pretty serious people." "Yeah." "That's why I came to find you." "It's time?" "They have a way of moving forward." " What is it?" "You know, that's what they say." "They have a way of moving forward." "Yeah, these guys don't give out a lot of information." "They're not carpet cleaners." "Okay, uh, well, I'll go get Jack." "And, uh... will you wait outside my office?" "Yeah." " Yeah." "You look good there." "Yeah." " Yeah, nice... backlighting there." " Yeah." "You know, in 1993," "Congress issued an apology to Native Hawaiians on behalf of the United States for the overthrow of the Kingdom of Hawaii a hundred years earlier." "All was forgiven... and I have a house in Kauai." "All right." "Fine." "Enough." "You'll do it?" "Yes." "You'll read an apology?" "To the people of Hawaii." "Can the people of Africa get one next, or are the Sioux Indians in line ahead of us?" "You're going to apologize, Simon." "I see." "Okay." "Thank you." "That was Lieutenant Pierce." "Your parents are resting." "You can do the same if you want;" "you can lie down on the couch." "Nah." "In para-rescue school," "I was awake and alone for three straight nights in the middle of New Mexico, trying to avoid capture by my instructors." "How did you do?" "I was awake when they captured me." "I want you to know you're the least confidence-inspiring person I've ever met." "Who's the blonde roaming the halls?" " She's a lawyer." "The show's getting sued for sexual harassment and wrongful termination of a writer." "It's after 3:00 a.m." "What's she still doing here?" "I don't know." " Hmm," "I bet you're about to find out." "Excuse me, can I talk to you for a second?" " Yeah." "We've been waiting to tell you until we understood more facts." "Waiting to tell me what?" "Mary thinks her firm can buy your brother back." "Mary's firm represents a company called..." "Hang on." "In here." "Mary's firm represents a company called Trask Security." "They do what's called KR, Tom." "Kidnap and Ransom?" " Yeah." "It's big business in Latin America." "And they've opened a branch office in Kandahar?" "Kabul." "They think they know where the three airmen are, who's got them and how to get them back." "They think they know where they are?" " Yeah." "Are they telling somebody?" "Well, what the guy who was talking to the guy who was talking to our guy in London said to me was that any information they have, they share with military intelligence, which probably has it already." "The guy who's talking to the guy who's talking to the other-- how far away are you from this?" "I'm a sexual harassment lawyer, I'm not with the A-Team." "Trask Security gets back people who've been kidnapped?" "They negotiate a ransom and deliver it." "Who are they?" "Former Special Ops, Special Forces, CIA, locals..." " It's legal?" "That's a complicated question." "Let's just say yes." "Let's say yes?" "It's a legitimate company." "Then why doesn't everybody use them?" "Not a lot of people who get captured have your brother's resources." "What's their success rate?" " About 50/50." "What happens to the other 50?" "Well, listen, I appreciate it, but I don't want..." "I don't want to do anything to interfere with what the military might be doing." "Sure." " Yeah, we just wanted... wanted to tell you about it." " I appreciate it." "Just out of curiosity, how much money?" "Uh, don't worry about that." "It would be millions, right?" "NBS or TMG are not gonna get involved with..." " Tom." "We're saying don't worry about that." "All right, thanks." "There any good vinyl shops in L.A.?" "What?" " Vinyl." "Records." "Any good record stores?" "Yeah, it's Los Angeles." "We have record stores." "I'm not talking about CDs." "I'm talking about records." "I'm talking about records, too, We have record stores." "I've been looking for a particular recording that's hard to find." "I don't care." "It's Sinatra singing "Moonlight in Vermont", live with the Nelson Riddle Orchestra. 1966." "What do you want from me?" "Don't even consider what those people were just talking to you about." "How do you know what they were talking to me about?" "You see these bars on my shoulders?" "You think I'm a hotel doorman?" " They were just offering an alternative." "Mm." "A few years back, a VIP and another guy are kidnapped in Colombia." "They want $3 million for his release, and the insurance company refuses to pay it." "There's a company that sells kidnapping insurance?" "More than one." "The blonde with the legs-- her law firm represents one of them." "What happened to the guy in Colombia?" "They killed the non-VIP to show they were serious, then upped the ransom to $11 million." "State Department begged the company not to pay it, 'cause they were negotiating a broader deal with the Colombian government." "The company didn't care, they wanted their man out." "So you know what the going rate is today to get a hostage out of Colombia?" "11 million dollars." " That's right." "Tom, these guys are Jihadists and they fund their Jihad by selling heroin to the hookers working Sunset tonight and by kidnapping people." "We don't give 'em a nickel." "Not now, not ever." "You understand me?" "Yeah." " Look at me." "Do you understand me?" " Yes." "And you don't know where I can find the Sinatra recording?" "I don't think your jokes are funny." " Yeah, you do." "You're just not in the right mood." "I can't imagine why not." "Hey, Superfly stepped in it, huh?" "Homeboy spit the bit." "That's my fault;" "I sent him out there to..." "Yeah, well, he went from zero to stupid in 4.5 seconds." "Dealing with the press isn't easy." "I wouldn't know, I've spent my adult life dealing with people who are trying to kill me." "It's roughly the same principle." "He should apologize before it gets out of hand." "He's not gonna." " He should." "He's not gonna." " Why?" "'Cause like the song goes," ""this is all just a little bit of history repeating."" "Thank you, you were a terrific dress rehearsal audience." "Go home, turn on the TV, watch the real thing, okay?" "How 'bout a nice hand for Sheryl Crow!" "Come on!" "Nice dress!" "Nice dress!" "Jeannie, drive to the end of the line." "I'll get it tonight." " Thanks." "Ow." "Hey." "Don't be a yutz, cut the sketch." "Guess what, two national ad reps, the heads of sales and affiliates' relations didn't say a word about it, they didn't have a problem." "You know what a "Way-Homer" is?" "I work in comedy, of course I..." "It's a joke that you get on the way home." " Yeah." "This is the opposite of that." "It's a joke you realize wasn't funny on the way home." "Well, once they're on their way home, they're out of my jurisdiction." "So why don't you get some dinner?" "I was on the floor during the sketch, Matthew, it was uncomfortable laughter, I could tell." "I'm gonna sharpen it." "It doesn't need sharpening." "It needs to 'be cut." "People want and deserve to feel patriotic right now and making fun of them..." "For the ninth time, I'm not making fun of patriotism," "I'm making fun of car decals passing for patriotism the same way I make fun of diamond-encrusted crucifixes from Harry Winston passing for faith." "You want to mock me, mock me." "I can't end your career." "They can and they will." "That sketch is a ticking bomb, and it will go off on Monday." "You know..." "I remember a few days after the megaphone thing at Ground Zero," "I was at the Writers Guild and people were talking about what a seminal moment that was." "And while people were talking about what a great leader he had become in that moment," "I was thinking, "Gee, what I saw was a guy getting an alley-oop pass from a heckler."" "The guy from off-camera shouted "We can't hear you", and Bush shouted back, "Well, I can hear you" ""and soon the people who knocked down these towers are gonna hear all of us."" "It's not a bad comeback, but it didn't strike me as the St. Crispin's Day speech or anything." "But I didn't say anything because I was scared." "And I've been scared for five weeks, and that's too long for a grown man." "So why don't you just go to dinner?" "No." "I'm talking to Danny." "Where is he?" "Danny?" "Oh, my God." "Oh." "No." "That was from a motorcycle accident." "Guy took his arm off going through Laurel Canyon." "We stopped the hemorrhaging." "With the motorcycle guy?" "Jordan." "We stopped the hemorrhaging." "Novoximal-20 worked." " Yes." "Oh, thank God." " No, wait." "What?" "She developed a complication." "What are you... we just went through..." " It's a post-op infection, we think." "You think?" "She has a high fever and a rapid heartbeat, and with the DIC, that indicates that she probably has a bacterial infection in her bloodstream." "That should become resolved by giving her IV antibiotics which we're doing right now, but I have to tell you there is a chance it could become worse." "How much worse?" "If we didn't catch it in time, she could go into shock." "And then what?" "Her organs could shut down." "What are the chances?" " We don't handicap those kind of things." "What are the chances?" " Let's let the antibiotics do their job." "What are the chances?" "About 25%." "I..." "I have to go see..." "You can't, Danny, you go near her." "If you've got a cough or a cold or anything remotely..." "How did it happen that she comes into a hospital and gets sicker?" "She's young, and she's healthy, and she's gonna be fine." "But you don't handicap these things." " I just did." "Now go be with the baby." "I'll be back when there's an update." "I'll give you two choices." "I can do more Holly Hunter..." "Or?" "I can teach you how to pray." "Teach me." "God always wins." "No, it's just your Holly Hunter's unbearable." "Whatever." "Let's go find a chapel." "I need you." "Jack, my whole life I've been waiting to hear those words from you." "Say them again, say them as if you..." " Shut up." "All right." "Uh, Jordan's developed a post-op infection." "I know, how do you walk into a hospital and then get sick?" "She's in a building full of people with diseases, go figure." "What do you need me for, Jack?" "Tell Simon you want him to apologize." "We've got bigger fish to fry." "No, we've got a lot of fish to fry and this is one of them." "And it's a big fish, it's a fish that's gonna..." "I don't want to do the fish anymore!" " Settle down." "I've got upfronts next week." "90% of all television advertising time for next year is gonna be sold next week." "Nine billion dollars is going to change hands next week, none of it into mine if my network employs a terrorist sympathizer." "You think Simon's a terrorist sympathizer?" "Yeah, yeah, that's what I think." "Come on, help me out, would you?" "He said..." "He said," ""No wonder they want to kill us, I want to kill us."" "He was under enormous strain, he wasn't prepared, he was provoked, and people say things they don't mean." "Right, add "I'm sorry" to that, you've got a statement he can read." " That's up to him." "Forget the ad upfronts, man," "I'm not gonna be able to keep him on the air." "He was talking about the press." "I don't think people are gonna care that much that he said he wants to kill the press." "I don't think people would care that much if he actually did kill the press, but it's going to be interpreted as wanting to kill America." "That's just 'cause it's more fun to interpret it that way." "That's right." " That's right." "Matt, five years ago, two words from you and you could have saved your job: "I'm sorry."" "No, two words from you and I could have saved my job." " Hey, hey, hey." "You know what they are?" "Matt..." " "Screw yourselves." "Listen..." " "I'm the Chairman of NBS." "These are my guys." ""You're all a bunch of hysterical reactionaries, and I think you should go screw yourselves."" "Well, that was more than two words." "Anything else?" "I never broke my promise." "Anything else, Jack?" "I never broke the promise." "Danny, Matt?" "I'm Matt, he's Danny." "What do you hear from Wes today?" "They're giving him a blood pressure-lowering medication called Liovan." "And the doctors are keeping him in bed." "So it's your show again for a week." "Nah, it's his show, we're just running the place." "There's an AM radio station in Phoenix, KRAC Talk Radio." "Their morning drive time hosts are Mike and Marvin." "This is this morning." "I'm waiting for the big one." " I'm praying for the big one." "One big earthquake right at the... what's it, the, uh..." "San Andreas..." " San Andreas Fault." "Just lop off all of Southern California right into the Pacific." "We don't need it." "Friends, I don't know how many of you out there watch Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip." "I know I don't." " I don't." "It's a late night humor show from the folks at NBS." "I wouldn't call it humor, it's what passes for humor in Hollywood." "Well, Friday night on their program, they took the word "disgusting" to a brand new level." "This doesn't sound like it's gonna be a good review." "Well, you can call it disgusting," "I'm gonna call it repulsive." "No, I was wrong, there's a pull quote." " Shut up." "Friends, on the program Friday night, this group of junior varsity liberal punks performed a sketch in which our nation's desire to be unified shoulder to shoulder behind our president was mocked as a silly thing." "What are we getting at?" "They want to make sure Washington isn't using" ""scare tactics" that impinge on their right to make this drivel in the first place." "I got news for you, fellas, it ain't Washington that's using scare tactics, it's the terrorists, so stop whining with your smug little jokes." "It's local station." "I'm still not understanding the point..." "Now, the writer of this sketch was Matthew Albie, that's A-L-B-I-E, and Mr. Albie, you are the latest addition to our FOO list." "Foo list?" " Wait for it." "Friend of Osama!" "Please keep listening." "He wrote and recorded a treason jingle." "I got to hear this again." "...this Matthew Albie also came out and publicly supported Mr. Bill Maher when Mr. Bill Maher said that the terrorists weren't cowards, our guys were cowards." " That's not what he said." "Hang on." " That's not what he said, it's not what I said." " Hang on." "I still don't understand why..." " Because of this." "...latte-drinking liberals that Clinton time is over." "You buy no products that are advertised on Studio 60, and I'm gonna give you a list of their sponsors." "Let's go" " Sears." "Walmart." " Walmart." "Come on, it's conservative talk radio in one market, they're in Phoenix." "They're syndicated in 11 other cities." "Houston, Dallas, Brownsville," "El Paso, Denver..." " Jack." "Sales is very concerned, ad reps are calling." "We've got a big..." "Sales was at the dress, so were national ad reps." "They didn't have a problem with it then." "They've got a problem with it now." "Because these guys have a problem with it?" "Because their customers have a problem with it." "They're getting all kinds of calls and e-mails, they want to nip it in the bud." " How?" "Some kind of apology." " I'm sorry." "Not to me." "No, I'm sorry, an apology will not be coming." "Why's that?" "Because unless it's with my mom or my girlfriend, when I say, "I'm sorry" I like to mean it." "Well, you don't have a girlfriend right now, so what do you say you fake it?" "How did you know I don't have a girlfriend?" "'Cause I know everything, Danny." "I'm Matt." " He knows." "I do, and I also know what's gonna happen if you don't apologize." "You'll fire me." " No, I'll fire him." "What did he do?" " He was sitting next to you when you said you wouldn't apologize." "See how this is gonna work?" "You must know the song." " I do know the song." "This is Captain Boyle." "Mm-hmm." "Do you have my code?" "Call me right back on the secure phone." "What's going on?" "Tango-Nevada-Echo-Echo-Bravo." "When?" " What's going on?" "What do you think, I've got about five minutes?" "All right, copy that, I'm here." "All right, Tom, listen to me now." "What?" " In about five minutes," "Al Jazeera's going to report that they've executed Airman Valdez." "Oh, God." "They'll probably show tape of the dead body." "Oh God." "Oh, no." " Listen to me." "They lie." "They haven't killed anybody." "They're gonna show tape of a guy they killed four months ago." "How do you know?" " I'm not new at this." "We'll give 'em the money." " Tom." "I'm getting the lawyer back, and I'm giving them the money." "They're lying, Tom." " You don't know that." "Then, wait for verification before you..." " I'm not waiting for anything" "This is what terrorism is." "This is what they want." "Basic facts, what do you have worse." "Get down on your knees." "Really?" " Yeah." "Why?" " Respect." "See, this is my first speed bump." "I would think if I were God, I wouldn't have any ego problems;" "I wouldn't need, "Oh, Lord," "Creator of the Universe, most powerful and merciful and handsome of all the deities."" "There's a baby that's two weeks premature." "Her mom can't stop bleeding" "My, my friend and employee's brother's being held prisoner by medieval heroin dealers." "If-if He needs ten minutes of sucking up before He'll fix this," "I don't want to work with Him." " The kneeling isn't for Him, it's for you." "How's it for me?" "It takes the average person in America 60 years to make what you make in a year." "It takes the average person in the world 60 lifetimes to earn what you earn in a year." "You have choices." "Same is true for me, and the one thing that isn't handed to you on a silver platter is humility." "So I like to begin each day on my knees and end each day on my knees." "If He's everything you say He is," "I shouldn't have to audition." " It's not an audition." "If He's real..." " He is." "And He loves me..." " He does." "Why not just fix it?" "I don't know." "And I'm hoping it's gonna be a long, long time before you get to ask Him yourself." "Get on your knees." "I wasn't handed anything on a platter." "I'm who I am because my parents gave me opportunities." "I'm who I am because I worked hard and got good grades." "I got what I got because I went after a non-paying, entry-level television internship and proved myself." "I got what got because I took action." "Are you a surgeon?" "Or a hematologist?" " No." "Then what action can you take now?" "I'm sorry." "It... it feels wrong to be in this room." "This isn't the time, but he... made some reasonably good points." "How about this?" ""A few hou ago I made a very irresponsible" ""and offensive statement to the press." "I don't in any way sympathize with..."" "You're kidding me, right?" "No!" "You contribute money to the Democratic Party?" "Uh..." "I've contributed money to lots of things." "Including Democrats?" "Yes." " I'll tell you what." "I'll go out there and say that I don't sympathize with terrorists if you go out there and say that you don't either." "Simon, I didn't just go in front of television cameras and..." "No, I'm sorry, Jack." "I heard the president say either you're with us or you're against us-- unless you're Saudi Arabia-- and if you gave money to Democrats you're not with us." "All right." "All right." "And what kind of name is "Rudolph"?" "Is it German or is..." "is it Jewish?" "And you're getting a divorce, so does that mean you don't have family values, or does it mean you're gay?" "Answer those things for me and the television audience, and I'll go out with you and say whatever you want." "Is this how it happened with Matt and Danny?" "How about instead of issuing an apology you release a statement saying that Studio 60 and NBS aren't interested in commenting on the fabricated crisis ginned up by a guy who-- and I still can't get over this" " Matt." "wrote a radio song called "Friends of Osama"!" "Jack, is it possible..." "This guy wants California to drop into the ocean." " Matt..." "Considering there are more Americans here than in any other state in the country," "I think that's unpatriotic and I'd like an apology." "Jack, I was gonna ask" "Is it possible that we're responding to a worst-case scenario before it's happened." " Absolutely." "One of my jobs is to recognize things before they become as bad as they can get." "The ad reps were on the floor." "I understand that, Danny, and I kept my promise but now we have a problem as, quite frankly," "I predicted we would!" "We don't have a problem." "The sketch was taken out of context to make the exact opposite point that was intended by people who never watched to begin with." "Okay." "Hang on." "Stop." "Everybody." "It's not even our show." "We're substitute show-runners for a couple of weeks." "Damn right, and you won't treat the property you do not own recklessly." "We're not treating it..." " Jack." "He's, he's right." "We, we showed it to the ad reps." "No one who would be offended by this show watches Studio 60." "They watch other shows on this network, except they won't anymore because they're gonna be told that watching NBS is unpatriotic and people want to feel patriotic right now." "By watching television?" "By doing whatever the hell..." "Guys, I can't spend all day on this." "How is it possible, that at a time when the whole country is completely in line-- including the two of us-- that, how is it possible that people are so offended by a thoroughly benign sketch?" "Is true patriotism really that fragile that it can be threatened by a late-night comedy show?" "It's an excellent point, Matt, one that's worthy of an exceptionally enlightened seventh grade social studies class." "You're gonna apologize or you're fired." " Whoa." "Whoa, whoa." " First of all, you can't fire us." "You can fire Wes, and Wes can fire us." "Everybody, let's, let's..." " Stacey!" "lower the temperature a bit so that we can..." "Get me Wes Mendell, please." "Let's see what happens now." "Jack?" "Uh..." "No." "No what?" "No, that's not how it happened to Matt and Danny." "Please don't go anywhere." "Mary's coming in." " Let's just wait for..." "I'm here." "Who are you?" "Mary Tate." "Uh... you look different." "She was sleeping." " I was sleeping." "I looked a lot better when the day started." "What's happened?" " Al Jazeera's about to say Valdez has been executed." "They've got film, but Boyle doesn't believe them" "He says it's gonna be footage of a guy who was..." "Old footage." " Yeah." "Is he committing to anything right now?" "No." " What's it take to get ***?" "Tom gets on the phone with our office in London." "They put you through a proof-of-identity process." "Can we skip that part?" " No." "Then, they're gonna quote a price that includes their services and the buy-out fee." " How much will that be?" "Don't worry about it." " How much will it be?" "I don't know, but they're gonna ask for a million dollar deposit." "I don't have a million dollars." " I do." "I do, too." " I can't ask you give..." "You can't ask us not to." " Can I make a bank transfer?" "Sure." " From out of the country?" "I'm not committing to anything?" " No." "I'm gonna go downstairs and talk to my parents." "Then I'll come back, we'll get the ID process started." "I'm gonna get to the phone." "With who?" "Any bank that's open." "Why are you holding your shoes?" "I guess I was going to put them on." "You speak to Danny?" " Yeah, a few minutes ago." "They got her on an IV antibiotic." "About the baby." "Mary, I'm not going to..." "What do you want me to...?" " He can go in there with papers." "He can go into Jordan's room with legal papers and she can make him the guardian." "I can't suggest..." " You have to." "It's insensitive." "It's ghoulish." "Matt..." " And she's a friend of mine, too, so I wish you wouldn't talk about her like..." " This isn't the time to be polite." "Danny's looking at his daughter right now, only she's not his daughter anymore if Jordan dies." "Well, she's not gonna." "She's in the ICU, Matt." "He could lose his fiancée and his daughter in one night, and that's preventable." "Do you know how to draft the papers?"