"Any Resemblance To Actual Robots Would Be Really Cool" "Futurama Season 5 Episode 3" "The route of all evil" "7-11: open 28 hours" "Ah beer!" "So many choices!" "And it makes so little difference." "How 'bout Löbrau?" "It has dots on it." "Overruled." "The choice of champions is Pabst Blue Robot!" "I can't drink that!" "The metal shavings make my throat bleed." "Waah waah!" "Baby wants a Zima!" "Hey hey!" "We can all fight when we're drunk." "Now listen:" "Why don't we just brew our own beer?" "You can brew your own beer?" "Sure, the kids at the orphanarium used to do it all the time." "Cursed bacteria of Liberia." "My own son suspended from boarding school." "It's not my fault dad." "And you Cubert." "I cloned you from one of my warts and I can send you straight back in there." "Nuh-uh!" "What's going on?" "Is this angry yelling or busted hearing aid yelling?" " I'm afraid it's both." " What?" "Now hold on, everyone cool your Dacaries!" "Let's give the little vermin a chance to explain themselves." "It was self defence Mom." "Just look at the letter the Principal sent." "We were in science class and we had just finished building a minature black hole." "That was easy." "Pretty scrawny black hole." "It must be hungry." "Tuh!" "Black holes don't need food." "Neither do nerds!" "My manwich!" "That's it Bret." "You've compressed our lunches to a singularity for the last time!" "Salt him Dwight!" "When I resolidify, I'm gonna put you in a world of goop!" "See?" "That bully started it." "We couldn't fight back with brawn so we used our brains!" "I've warned you not to use those things!" "Let's see." "We've got our malt, our hops... we just need a big disposable tub to mix it in." "Now it needs to boil for a couple hours." "Dwight, you remember the crew?" "Crew, you remember Cubert?" "Wonderful!" "And I'm sure you won't mind being their legal guardians for a month!" "If it isn't my old friend stretchpants," "No pants and Idiot!" "We're making beer!" "I'm the brewery." "I heard alcohol makes you stupid." "No I'm...doesn't." "Actually Dwight you're right." "Alcohol is very very bad... for children." "But once you turn 21 it becomes very very good!" "So scram!" "Aw man!" "Hey Dad!" "What useless contraption are you half-baking today?" "Eh wha?" "Oh!" "This is my latest invention." "A device that lets anyone sound exactly like me!" "Good news everyone!" "I'm a horses butt!" "I am?" "That's not good news at all you little..." "Aargh!" "What's this device's marketability?" "Who's the target consumer?" "There is no target consumer!" "Only targets." "Targets that will tremble as their new master hands down edicts in my glorious booming voice!" "Now quit pestering me you scoundrels!" "Stamp it...file it...oh yes!" "Send it overnight!" "Can I collate that?" "No!" "Can I shred these contracts?" "No!" "Wow!" "A powerstamper!" "Now look at all the work I gotta do!" "Mmm." "The ingredients are cooked." "And they've picked up some of your natural robot flavourings." "Time to add the yeast." "Yeast?" "You mean I'll have a lifeform growing inside me?" "It's so beautiful." "Talk to me." "This is Professor Farnsworth." "I have an important delivery for you and your dumb crew." "You must deliver a pizza to Dogdoo 8, a planet at the edge of the universe." "Sorry I can't come down to say goodbye, but I'm busy inventing useless junk." "And I smell bad." "One Week Later." "Hey!" "If you were my kids you'd get quite a talking to.... from your father... when he got home from the Senate." "Oh bother, what have they done now?" "Those pork dumplings sent us on a fake delivery." "The address was on Dogdoo 8 but the universe ends right after Dogdoo 7!" "Childman, is this true?" "Yeah, but why are you mad at us?" "Your dummy brigade wasted a week on an obviously fake mission!" "Plus, you're making bootleg beer inside company property!" "Lies!" "Lies and slander!" "Accusing gentle Bender of a misdeed?" "That's the last straw!" "You boys have been underfoot long enough!" "You jerked the words right outta my mouth." "We're their fathers and its high times we acted like it." "Ooo hoo!" "Here comes violence!" "Get a job you lazy kids!" "I guess if you want children beaten you have to do it yourself." "Come on Dad, shuffle faster!" "You don't wanna miss the unveiling of our new company do you?" "Company?" "How cute!" "What will you be pedalling?" "Lemonade?" "Shoe shines?" "Cootie insurance?" "Perhaps they've constructed a teddybear hospital!" "Actually, we're starting a competing delivery company." "Awesome Express." "Welcome to the world of business!" "Who's going to use a delivery service with a kicked sign?" "Nobody that's who!" "But we already have a client signed up!" "We're delivering the Daily Supernova." "So your delivery company is just a cute harmless paper route?" "Phew!" "No." "Its a serious business." "Yes its a tremendous responsibility alright!" "What if a paper were to land in a puddle?" "Civilisation as we know it might get splashed!" "Why do they always treat us like dumb kids?" "We're practically old enough to find the Fox Network infantile!" "Ah we'll show 'em." "All Awesome Express needs is a sturdy interstellar delivery craft!" "Voila!" "You got a quarter?" "Man, that ad said to allow 4 to 6 seconds for delivery." "More like 7!" "I'm really starting to swell up with beer." "I must look ridiculous." "No, you have a healthy glow." "Oh my God!" "I just felt it ferment!" "Ooo!" "Let me feel." "Have you thought about what to name it?" "I was thinking Benderbrau if it's an ale, Botweiser if it's a lager." "I hope it's a lager so I can take it to a ball game." "Ooo!" "I felt that one!" "Uh, there's a crack in the hull here." "That could cause explosive decompression." "Put a sticker on it." ""Huile stupide" " Pour robots idiots"" "Off on your first delivery eh?" "You be careful my little tinkler." "Remember we used to call you that huh?" "Tinkler?" "Gets moving'!" "Those newspapers won'ts deliver themselveses!" "Only the Sunday edition can dos that." "Goodness there must be 50 papers in that bundle!" "That's a big number, 50." "Yeah, you're an idiot!" "3. 2. 1." "All systems go." "Blast off!" "See you at din-din!" "I'm blowing you a kiss." "Argh!" "Take evasive action!" "It's closing in!" "You can't avoid it!" "It's a cheek-seeker." "And... gotcha!" "Maple Craters" "Paperboys Of The Week" "Paperboys Win Award On Slow News Day" "Business is down." "So I filed papers to have you all reclassified as slaves." "Well, well, well." "If it isn't our little muchkin moguls!" "What's the trouble men?" "Need some penny rolls for your profits?" "Actually, thank's to Dwight's brilliant accounting and my unaccountable brilliance our paper route now has over a million customers!" "We're finally making more money than you guys" "Aren't you impressed now Pops?" "Aren'tcha?" "Aren'tcha?" "Uh, in a small way yes." "But you still don't have your own building, your own conference table or... or one of those things!" "Our Dads are never impressed, no matter what we do." "Maybe we should start a fire." "If we really want to impress them we'll have to crush them with strategy..." "Dwight Lightning!" "Very well." "But I get to name the next strategy." "This week on The Real World:" "The Sun." "Argh!" "I'm burining to death!" "You know how much an apartment that big would cost on the Sun?" "People, as you know our young sons have become great successes in the very same field as us." "All right!" "That's great!" "That's good!" "Naturally, we're humiliated." "That's why we need you, our loyal crew, to make Planet Express 800% more profitable." "We'll start by slashing salaries." "And this time I mean really slash." "Uh guys, I don't know how to tell you this." "So I'll just let Fry blurt it out thoughtlessly." "We don't work for you anymore!" "What?" "Dwight and Cubert made us a better offer." "We're paperboys new." "Incoming!" "We got papers to stuff team!" "Hup two hup two!" "Yes sir!" "On our way!" "We're on it Mr Farnsworth!" "Folks, the situation is grim but we shall prevail, thanks to you, our crack team of loyal dregs!" "I don't even know who this guy is!" "I'm Scruffy, the janitor." "Yes, of course you are." "Now we've got to buckle down and save Planet Express." "I'm on break." "Sorry to interrupt this "whirlwind of activity" but we have an announcement." "I direct your attention to these forms, which I'm presently engaged in handing to you." "Sweet guineapig of Winnipeg!" "They've taken over our company!" "Balderdash!" "I never agreed to that!" "No." "But you did declare yourself dead 3 years ago as a tax dodge." "Tax dodge nothing!" "You take one nap in a ditch in the park and they start declaring you this and that." "Either way I technically inherit your building and your spaceship." "Which mean Planet Express is now Awesome Express!" "You rotten kids!" "Will you be hiring?" "No." "You rotten kids!" "There." "One million papers." "Folded and loaded!" "Hey Leela, help me apply these flame decals I got in my cereal." "They'll make the ship go faster." "And what's your scientific basis for thinking that?" "I'm 12." "Did I ever tell you how I used to own that ship?" "There but for the grace of God." "Little brewsky don't you leak." "Daddy wants to drink for at least a week." "Oh my God!" "I think it's time!" "Hurry Leela, get some coasters and cold mugs." "Push Bender push!" "You're doing great!" "It feels like I'm trying to push a water bed out of me." "Almost there." "Just 2 more bottles." "Is it OK?" "I can't hear anything." "It's an ale!" "5 gallons, 6 ounces!" "Hey, what's goin' on?" "This is a delivery company not a delivery room!" "We just busted our bums delivering a million newspapers and this is how you greet us?" "With a bunch of frosty cold beers?" "Hey wait a second." "How did you deliver a million papers in one hour?" "Uh...we just did OK?" "Cos we're awesome!" "Yeah!" "Yeah awesome!" "Hello Awesome Express, the rude, crude delivery dudes!" "How may I direct your call?" "..." "What's that?" "..." "You haven't gotten your paper?" "..." "In how long?" "..." "Uh, might a homeless old man have a touch more beef bourguignon?" "And another tequila slammer?" "Please?" "Don't ya sweet talk me ya wrinkly old cusack!" "Might I have one too wife?" "Ah you're both pathetic, being jealous of your own offspring." "Now you should be happy they became successes, instead of following in your footstamps." "Oh it's true." "But they grow up so fast." "We just wanted a few more years of being better than them." "They're so stinking talented they don't even need their fathers anymore." "Dad!" "We screwed up!" "You did?" "Tough luck suckers!" "Please, help us Pops." "We agreed to deliver way more papers than we can handle." "But we couldn't handle them so we started dumping the extras in a crater on the Moon." "And now everyone's yelling at us about our missing papers!" "And now we don't know what to do!" "Why did you boys do all this?" "We just wanted you to be proud of us." "Proud of you?" "You ruined us with sleazy business practices and a complete disregard for human decency." "But, of course we're proud of you." "Damn right we are!" "Now come on." "Let's go do a little Father/Son weaseling out of this." "Good thing I had this net installed for catching giraffes" "OK boys, let me show you how a paper man does it." "Au revoir!" "Can I use the gun Dad?" "Aw what kind of father would I be if I said no?" "Only one house to go." "We did it!" "Yeah!" "Run away!" "That bully Bret Blob lives there!" "He's ugly, mean, stupid, stink, mucus!" "And last week...we sort of...broke his window." "Alright, alright." "What do we do when we break somebody's window?" "Pay for it?" "Heavens no!" "We apologise!" "With nice cheap words!" "I thought I heard the doorbell but I see it was the dorkbell!" "Man, we had it coming Bret!" "Now now, no need to give us the business." "We'd like a word with you daddy." "Whatever." "Daaad!" "Don't worry boys." "I'm sure his father is a perfectly normal reasonable man." "What the hell do you want?" "Mr Blob, our sons have come to apologise for damaging your window." "They've learned their lesson and they want to make amends." "Sorry sir." "Yeah, sorry." "You can shove your apology into the bottom of your one way digestive system." "Now see here." "We assured our sons that you'd accept their apology." "Aww." "Tell you what." "I'll accept their apology when they kiss my ass!" "Which I don't have!" "No one gives my son that option!" "Bring it on Jello-pop!" "Yeah go Dad!" "Show 'em who's boss!" "Get 'em..." "Pops!" "That was incredible!" "You are the bravest dads in the entire Trauma Centre!" "You guys almost had 'im." "Until...he digested you." "Aww, you're good kids." "If I could feel anything right now, it would be pride." "I was wrong!" "I can still feel pain!" "He's coming to finish the job." "Someone toss me out the window!" "No no wait." "I..." "I feel terrible about what happened." "I've just been under a lot of stress lately, down at the plant y'know." "They're bringing in computers to "improve productivity" and, well, that's no excuse for how I acted." "But, the boy needs to see that real men can solve their disagreements with words not violence so uh... if you'll accept my apology then uh," "I hope we can put this embarrassing incident behind us." "I suppose!" "Hey chumps!" "I heard you were on the ass end of an ass kicking so I figured you could use a couple of these babys!" "Oh why not!" "Might as well live it up as long as I 've got this cast thing on me!" "Uh, won't join us Mr Blob?" "Sounds like a plan!" "This is what makes life worth clinging to." "Three fathers, enjoying a day out with their sons." "It would seem we've taught our boys a lesson about life:" "Man or Blob, it's whats inside that counts." "Subtitles :" "Ninjaw P.B." "Script :" "Dave @ The neutral planet"