" Hi, Mom!" " Hi!" "Hi!" "Hi, baby." "Look at you." " Hi, baby." " Yeah, she got big!" "She got big, yeah?" " Baby, hi." " Yeah." "What do you say, sweetie?" "Welcome home." "Oh." "Hi." "Hi, sweetie." " I love you." " I love you so much." "I'll pick you up." "Oh, my God." "You feel so good." "All right, all right." "Here, let me get that, let me get that." " I got it." " All right." "You sleep on the plane?" " Mm-hmm, a little bit." " That's good." "I couldn't sleep a lot, though, I was excited." " Yeah, I bet." " Yeah." "Hey, can you plate the chicken, please?" "Oh, my God, I missed you." "And Mike was such a rock star." "I saw him all the time at the Kroger's with Brie in the basket." "You would have been really proud of him." "And Missy said he was great at spouse group, weren't you?" "Come on, watch the hair!" " Hey, can I have a glass?" " Sorry." "Mike!" "Oh, my God, this looks so good." " My favorite..." " That's my addiction there..." "Go ahead." "Here, can you hold this, please?" "Go ahead, turn, turn, turn, turn." "Let's see what you got, let's see what you got." "Now do me." "Oh!" "Look at you." "Oh, you're getting heavy." "I'm gonna dip you." " Flip me!" " Flip you?" "Oh, my..." "How am I going to flip you?" "You're getting so big!" "Let's let Mom rest, okay, here, here." "But Mom loves dancing." "I know, but it's time for her to relax." "You guys, it is so nice to have your own fucking chair and a beer." "Dollar in the curse jar." "And she's still doing Bingo on the weekends, and so she's wasting all her money there and she's still working at the grocery store." "And this guy, he doesn't make anything." "So with this new husband, she keeps borrowing from us all the time." "And I" " I let her borrow the car." "She had to go out and roll it, though." "Damn... totaled it!" "So she writes me this letter." "I mean, she's my own mother, but she mails it to me, saying she's going to pay for it." "Like I don't have a telephone, okay?" "Can you believe this?" "Of course, I haven't seen a red cent." "Yup, I knew it." "I've been dealing with this all over town." "It's not us, it's the city pipes, you know?" "They're all rusted out." "Doris Norman's got six bathrooms." "Took me five hours to set her up." " Nice." " Yeah." "Well, she said I could charge her for the whole day." " Seriously?" " Yeah, so I did." " Nice." " Yeah." "Hmm?" "That's nice." "What?" " You're crazy." " Mm-hmm." "Oh, now, hang on." "I don't have this on yet." "Ah, shit, shit." " No, no, no, no, no..." " What?" "No, no, no, no." "No." "They say you got to take it slow first." "Who's "they"?" "The spouse group." "That's what they said!" " Are you serious?" " They're very serious." "No." "They don't know everything." "Oh, God, hon" " Mm-hmm." " I'm almost finished." "You better be careful, I'm almost done." "Oh, shit, shit." "Hey." " Come on." " Okay." "Wait, I forgot to put this back on." "Get over here!" "What are you doing?" "I'm just... making sure she's breathing." "Check me, too?" "Okay." "You're definitely breathing." "You go back to sleep, okay?" "Okay." "It's like falling off a bike." "Yeah." "Everything seems so small." "What are you talking about?" "It's exactly the same as when you left." "Yeah, but over there... quantities." "Gigantic." "Then how did you lift it?" "Mm-hmm." "What did you have, like, a gigantic forklift?" "All right, maybe the boxes are the same size, but there is a lot of them." "Slow down, you're making me look bad." "All right, Brie." "Get in your seat like a big girl." "What?" "Shorty crunk so fresh so clean" "Can she pump that question been harassing me" "In the mind this bitch is fine" "I done came to the club about 50-11 times" "Now can I play with your pantie line?" "The club owner said I need to calm down" "Drop that ass yeah shake it fast" "Throw that ass to the left and the right ya" "Turn that ass" "Shake it fast" "Throw that ass to the left and the right" "You okay baby?" "3-6-9" "Damn you're fine" "Move it so you sock it to me one more time..." "# Hey girl shake that thing #" "# Shake that thing don't stop #" "What?" "# Hey girl shake that thing #" "# Shake that thing don't stop ##" "That's right, girl!" "That's great!" "Good girl." "# M-A-N-I-A #" "# The best #" "# By far #" "Smile!" " # Cheer mania #" " Yes!" " Yes!" " # Are stars #" "Yes, yes!" "Very good." "Yes!" "Beautiful!" "Here we go, and five, six, seven, eight!" "Yes, yes, tight!" "Tumble!" "Remember to smile!" " Smile!" " That's my girl." "Yes!" "Aw, thank you, baby." "We got more ketchup, if anyone needs any more ketchup." "He made it." "Be careful..." "Hey, stop, hey!" "You think these walls are too yellow?" "I could give it a coat with a lighter-colored paint." "You know?" "Look, Ma, she's about to fall over." "Ooh!" "Ooh, you called that one, Jackie." "You all right, Adam?" "Even on vacation, Sally's mind is still on her job at the dry cleaner's." "Oh." "Uh-oh." " Hey." " Oh!" "You okay?" "What's that?" "You want to show me that?" "Brie." "Hey." "Hmm?" "What's she doing?" "Nothing." "She just does that." "I think he's trying to tell you he wants you to put..." " You done with this, hon?" " Uh-huh." "Oh, honey, don't worry about that." "I'll do it later, okay?" "Aren't you going out with your girls tonight?" "Yeah, I guess I better get dressed." "Yeah." "Go have fun." "Cheers it, cheers it." "Yeah." "Mmm..." "Gross." "Mmm..." "This one's on the house." "My house." "Drink wisely." " Hi!" " Hi!" " Hey." " Hey." "How you doing?" "Hey, I'm Cara Lee." "Hi, I'm Kelli." "Cara Lee works at Lambert's Chrysler Chevrolet now." "She moved down from Chillicothe." "I live real close to you." "I met your kids and stuff while you were gone." " They are so great." " Thanks." "I even watched them for him once." "There was a plumbing emergency or something." "Oh, that's really nice, I appreciate it." "Yeah." "Well, good night." "Yeah, you too." "Who is that?" "Oh, my God, she's just some girl that works at Lambert's." "Don't do that now." "No, I gotta get it even, stop it." "Ladies, woo!" "These are for you." "These are from the bartender, she's very proud of you, so..." "Thanks." "Yeah, oh, yeah, check it out, they're new, too." "Except you have to go, "Whoo!"" "Do you work here now?" "No, no, no, I'm just-- just-- just helping out, you know?" "So, uh, so, uh..." "So any of you ladies got five bucks for a guy who really needs it?" "Vonnie." "Oh, my God, let us be, Vonnie, go away." " Five bucks." " Go away." "Bye." "What, is he, like, a volunteer now?" "How does-- how does my eyes look?" "Good." "Ladies, how you doing tonight?" " Hi." " How are you?" "Kelli." "What do you mean?" "I came out the window, I don't know." " What window?" " The bathroom." "Come on, come on, let's go back inside." "No, no, no, no, no." "I want to go home." "I am done." "I gotta go home." "Come on." "They say it helps-- it helps to talk about it." "What, who says that?" "Come on, what, Jerry Springer?" "Kelli, come on." "Seriously." "Other people had it a lot worse than I did, I promise you." "I mean, yeah, I saw... some dead people and... there's weird shit there." "You know?" "Mostly I saw a giant amount of supplies." "Did you ever see a plane full of rubber gloves?" "Nope." "But, yeah... there was weird shit there." "Really, really weird shit." "There's like tons of dead animals on the side of the road and everybody knows somebody..." "Anyway." "Now all the cups are where the fucking plates should go and it's... weird." "Did you have an affair?" "No!" "Jesus, you guys and your stupid fucking questions." "Some of-- some of-- some of those guys are hot." "Hey, party girl." "Hi, I made coffee." "Good for you." " Yeah, I need it." " Yeah." "Oh..." "Did you sleep with the kids again last night?" "Mm-hmm." "Doesn't that hurt your back?" "Eh..." "A little." "Well, you know, the bed's nice." "You might like it." "Well, you better snap to it, soldier." "Eh!" "Mike." "Oh, you're killing me." "Rough night?" "This is fucking stupid." "What?" "It's just a giant waste of time." "I can't do it anymore." " What do you mean?" " I just can't do it." "End of this month, it's gonna be too late, you've gotta get..." "Wait." "I can't." "What do you mean, what?" "I can't." "What, Kelli?" "What?" "What, it can't even wait for me to get off the phone?" " I just can't do it." " What can't you do?" "You can't do inventory, or shipping?" "What'd I do?" "What, did Ed say something wrong?" "Suddenly you're the sensitive type?" "I didn't say anything." "Nah, it's not that." "I've kept your job open for a year, you've been working for me for 12 years." "I would like to know the reason." "You're just upset." "Whoo!" "Hee-hee!" "Finally, babe, people in this town need some goddamn plumbing done." "Yeah!" "Underground routing at Goodwin's Car Wash." "Underground, baby." "It's leaking, it's all shot to shit, and they know it." "They know it's gonna cost them, too." "I tried to tell them about, like, I'm sorry for 'em, y'know, real serious," "like I was worried about 'em, but they said yes!" "All new pipes!" "How was your day, how's work?" "Ahh" " No, I got it." " I took the day off." " Yeah." "Oh, my God, oh, my God." "It's a whole-- it's a whole underground system." "I mean, it could take two weeks, serious billable cash." "How come you didn't go to work?" "No reason." "Personal day." "Yeah." "Yeah, you could use it." "Yeah." "Goddamn, I gotta get a beer." "Hey." "Finally got the girls to sleep." "Boy." "You all right?" "Can I ask you some stuff?" "Yeah." "Okay, what kind of stuff?" "Well, you know, Shannon's been real worried about you." "And..." "Well, I just want you to know that..." "I don't know, if... if you did do something over there, or saw something or did something of a personal nature..." "A personal nature?" "Well, I just would rather know, okay?" "I would rather know if you did, I'm not saying you did." "Whatever." "I just" " I know all kinds of things can happen  like with your unit or anything." "Well, Shannon, sure as shit, wouldn't understand anything." "I can tell you that right now." "What, Kel, understand what?" "Nothing." "So that's it?" "Yeah." "All right." "All right, there is this one thing that I didn't tell you about that I should have told you about before." "I don't know, I, uh, I just found..." "I just-- it's stupid, but I just" " I couldn't do it anymore, so..." "I quit." "You quit what, quit the Guard?" "No, no, no, no, no, I still have that." "I just" "At the warehouse." "I quit." "You quit your job?" "Yeah, it's not my fault, I" "How is it not your fault?" "It just doesn't mean anything, you know, it doesn't matter." "It doesn't matter?" " Really?" " No, that came out wrong." "Kel, listen." "I've been playing Mr. Mom over here, okay, covered in fucking puke and baby shit and we can't sit around and hope that some asshole gets enough hair in his shower and needs me to come over and snake it out." "It does matter." "I think it matters." "You have no plan, okay?" "You need to get a plan." " Hey." " Hi." "Come on." "A man can't kiss his own wife?" "Come on." " No..." "No, I'm sorry, this is not true." "This is not even a topic anymore." " We all agree on this" " Yeah, we agree but we don't." "I'm actually just calling to let you know about a very special offer." "I'm in Ohio." "Uh-huh." "Oh, no, ma'am." "Yes, I do know where Bangalore is, and I am not there." "I'm here in the USA." "And I'm just calling to let you know about an excellent value on deep carpet shampooing." "Build your new deck, home addition, whole building or garage and we offer the largest selection of all colors and models of garage doors and openers." "Call to arrange your free estimate today and receive free gutters and downspouts with any building." "330-325-2967." "See you later." "Bye." "... Portage, Summit and Stark Counties since 1995." "The most fantastic..." "Come on, come on, come on, come on." "Don't you think it's a little much, just hanging out in the living room all day?" "It's okay." "It might be fine to get a job outside the house, you know?" "Yeah, like where?" "Hmm." "Stop." "No!" " Come on." " Huh?" "Whoo!" "Stop!" "Stop, Michael!" "I don't like it." "You don't like it, you don't like it?" "Oh, yeah, what about this?" "Stop." "Stop it." "All right, stop it, come on." "Stop." " Stop!" " All right." " God." " Sorry." " I'm sorry." " No." " I'm sorry." " No." "Sorry." "I don't know." "Hello." "Looking pretty empty in here." "Oh, yeah." "Hi, Kel, how are you?" "I'd like to come back and work for you, sir." "And I've been thinking very long and hard about my behavior, and I sincerely do apologize for how I acted and I can understand if you're mad." "I really need a job." "Yeah, well..." "Come here, I want to show you something." "I didn't think it would happen so fast." "We got a buyer for the land and it's not a lot." "Pays better than ventilators, so, uh... so we're selling it off." "I mean, everything, too." "Everything's sold, even the shelves." "I don't who, but..." "So it's just down to me and Ed now." "It's pretty far down." "Yeah." "There's something else I want to show you." "Come on over here." "Well... hopefully you could sell those, too." "Are those yours?" "Yeah, mm-hmm." "Yeah, my-- my wife won't let me have them at home." "Do people even buy pigeons?" "Yeah, well, you know, I" "I figured you can figure it out." "All right." "What was your technique?" "Well, the first one, I think I took two bites of and I just was eating as fast as I could and then I remembered about the dipping because I had read online that that's what they do in the..." "The hot dog-eating contest, right, right." "Well, the dipping makes it more mushy," "like a pile of chocolate mush so it's easier to just swallow, so you just" "You can almost drink it." " Yeah." " Well, Nancy" "Your-- her name is Nancy Cummings." "You still hold the record of 17 cupcakes in five minutes." "Congratulations." " Yay!" " Why thank you very much." "So proud." " All right." " Okay." "You're a failure to..." "Hey." "You left the door wide open." " I saw your van." " What about it?" "I saw your van today." "Hey, Kel, we were just talking." "Really?" "What are you talking about?" "Huh?" "You talking about me?" "No." "Oh, my God." "I thought you were just fucking her, but you're talking to her, too." "Holy shit." "Kel, come on!" "You know what, maybe" "I'm" " I'm" " I'm gonna go stay with my mother... for a while." "But I told the cops exactly who it was." "It's goddamn Travis across the street." "I mean, he will come right up to you and ask for money." "I wouldn't be surprised if I came home one day and Robbie's PlayStation was gone." "But they didn't take that much from Peggy's, they just-- they trashed everything." "Maybe you should answer it." "It's just Mike." "Maybe it's important, he keeps calling you." "He's sleeping with that girl from the car place." "He's gonna stay at his mom's for a little while." "I'm so sorry, Kelli." "You all right?" "What happened?" "Um, I..." "You hurt?" "No?" "Why don't you come on out and come on to the back of my car?" "You all right?" "Well, they say you get your license back eventually." "That's not what he said." "All right, let's talk about this tomorrow, okay?" "You got to get your shit together, my mom's in there." "I thought you were gonna go and stay at your mom's house." "And do what with the kids?" "You never came home." "He said I can go to some kind of fucking clinic instead of jail." "Kelli, what are you doing?" "I'm rolling up the window." "That's not my fault." "Okay." "You're welcome." "Mm-hmm." "Uh-huh..." "Yeah." "Six, seven..." "Uh-huh." "Can I call you back?" "Hi." "Hi." "I'd like to get my... window fixed on my car." "Okay." "Um, make and model?" "'95 Escort station wagon." "I need a passenger glass on a '95 Escort..." "Station wagon." "Station wagon." "It's a rush order." "It's not a rush order." "I'm not in any hurry." "You know, I think you'd be eligible for the military discount." "No." "I don't want any charity." "It's a really good deal." "Can I get a manager over here to authorize the military discount?" " I said I don't want it." " Okay." "Okay?" "I don't need any handouts." "All right." "Just your credit card then." "See, I gotta find one that's not broken." "Where-- where-- where you been?" "Getting my shit done." "Not that you care." " Look." " What?" "I got the car fixed at Lambert's." "No big deal." "Hi, baby, hi." "Where's Jackie?" "She's at church group." "Kelli, it's Tuesday." "Church group's on Monday." " Shit." " Yeah." "Jackie!" "Oh!" "You okay, baby?" "Hi." "Thank you for finding her." "Why weren't they watching you?" "I thought I could walk." "I'm big." "No, baby, you're not big." "Appreciate it, sir." "Come on." "Let's go home." "Well, do you live here or not?" "Because every time I come home or I wake up, you're here." "What are you doing?" "You can't take all Brie's dishes." "What's she gonna eat off of?" "I'm gonna take them for now, okay?" "Just temporary." "And I'm letting you have them unsupervised on the weekends if you promise to focus, you know, unless any more of this bullshit happens." "You're letting me?" "Yeah." "Emergency?" "What the fuck is this, when did you get this?" "Why would you say it's an emergency?" "It's just what they call the order or whatever." "Okay, just calm down." "Yeah, you wouldn't know an emergency if it hit you in the fucking ass." "Are you fucking kidding me?" "What the hell is wrong with you?" "You left our child on the street by Thompson Field." "Do you know who hangs out down around there?" "You're lucky she was still there when you got back." "You're lucky the cops didn't take her from you right then and there, okay?" "I mean, half the time you just walk around staring at the floor" "like a freaking zombie." "At least I'm not fucking the Lambert lady!" "Nobody gives a shit about the Lambert's lady." "You're here, okay?" "You're back!" "Be a goddamned mother!" "Jesus." "Hi, um, I'm Kelli." "Hi, Kelli." "Hi, Kelli." "Kelli, do you want to take this time to admit that you're powerless before alcohol?" "Uh, I..." "I don't know." "Why are you here?" "Because I got a DUI." "But I, uh..." "I'm... happy to be here and to see people taking control of their own lives... you know?" "Okay." "Hi, I'm Andrea." "Hi, Andrea." "Hi, Andrea." "It's not gonna be, like, crazy blonde, right?" "Nah, I'm just doing pieces." "You just here for the three days?" "Yeah, I guess." "I guess I got to go back." "You got a husband?" "It's kind of hard to say right now." " Uh-oh." " Yeah." "He's trying to take my kids." "I guess he got really used to me being gone." "Where'd you go?" "Uh, I was deployed." "Whoa." "That sucks, and now he's leaving you?" "Yup." "What were you doing there?" "Re-supply." "I was mostly on the base hospital." "Yeah..." "A lot of people had it a lot worse." "You still love him?" "It's weird." "I don't know." "I just, I really want things just to be like they were before I left." "Oh, wow." "That ain't gonna happen." "You don't even know him." "I know, but that just never happens." "Except for that one time when Superman flew around the world backwards and that was just a movie." "I mean, that's what Franklin says in group all the time." "I know he can be a dick, but he's right about that." "Think about it." "Okay." " Sorry." " That's okay." "It's just you don't know shit about my family, okay?" "I know, you're right." "Okay if I start you?" "So you definitely don't want to use it to avoid hearing what people are telling you, though, you know?" "Okay." "Bud?" "I pass." "Kelli, what about you?" "Um..." "Well... some stuff in my life really sucks right now and, uh..." "I shouldn't have gone on a bender but..." "I did." "Okay." "Well, first, I'd like to make an observation." "I observe that, for a lot of us, not just Kelli, we're using alcohol and drugs to respond to something else that happened in our lives." "And a lot of times, if we can just deal with our lives, it can help us in our recovery." "So, Kelli, I would invite you to talk to us about whatever stuff that "sucks," as you put it." "Well, um... things haven't been the same since I got back from the war and... my husband is leaving me... and that's why I got real drunk and got a DUI, but, um... now he is taking my kids... and that's the worst part." "You know?" "And all this stuff causes you to drink." "I don't know, I mean, a little, maybe, but..." "I got a DUI, so..." "You know, it can be an important step to talk through whatever challenges or traumas you might have encountered over there." "Kelli." "Telling your trauma is an important step." "I don't really have a story for you." " Which step is it?" " I beg your pardon?" "Which step, which step is it of the 12?" "Well, it's not really one of the steps, strictly speaking." "Mm-hmm." "You ever fight?" "Me?" "No." "Well, I'll tell you something, next time I get a DUI, I'm taking jail time, because you don't know shit about what she's talking about." "Bye, babe." "Bye." "How long you staying?" "You know, as long as they'll have me, but I'm mandatory three more weeks." "They give you back all your stuff?" "Yeah." "Thanks." "Look, darling." "I'm not a cop or anything, but you shouldn't be driving." "I know you got six months suspension or you wouldn't be here." "You got to be squeaky clean for the custody stuff." "You know, you walk in, you file your thing, you walk out." "You go to family court, I want to see you walking in there." "Don't want to get arrested before that." "You got to stay in the present, babe!" "Hi." "Okay, it's $12 for processing and I need to see your license." "Can you tell me where the office for family court is, please?" "It's upstairs and to your right." "Okay." "You've completed your alternative to incarceration." "You're eligible to get your license back in six months, provided you have no further offenses." "And since you can't drive, you shouldn't have any more offenses." "Are you okay?" "We got mobilization orders." "I beg your pardon?" "I have to go back." "All right, so... be real good for your mom, okay?" "She's had a rough time." "Okay?" "All right." "All right then." "I love you." "I love you, too." " Bye." " Bye." "Bye." "I love you." "Hi!" "Hey, guys." "Come in." "Your hair looks brighter." "Yeah, yeah." "Are you okay?" "Yeah." "Yeah, I'm okay." "Are you okay?" "Yeah." "Look at you." "Let's make a mummy." "First, let you out, Jackie." "Come on, we don't want to be late." "Close this one, lock it." "All right, away we go." "Okay." " Wanna play a game?" " Sure." "What do you want to play?" "Let's walk like Frankenstein." "Walk like Frankenstein?" "All right." "Ready?" "Friend..." "Okay, now how about like a hunchie?" "Na, na, na." "Okay, how about like a ballerina?" " A ballerina?" " Yeah." "Five, six, seven, eight," "lean, one, two, shake, three, four, turn, five, six, step, seven, head whip." "Hold it-- eight." "All right, you guys look awesome, good job." "What's with the sheet?" "She's a mummy." "Hey, little mummy." "Hi!" "Come here, little mummy." "Come on, honey, get in the car." "Can I stay with Mom?" "No, it's not her day." "I'll see you on Friday, okay?" "You did good today." "Fuck you!" "Sorry, babe." "No, I..." "Sorry." "I was gonna give you a ride." "You live downtown?" "Uh... yeah." "Come on." "All right." "How'd you get your license back?" "Look at that bullshit." "Taking that lady's money for nothing." "What a fucking racket." "Look at those two." "They're obviously pigging out on some... doughnuts or cheap shit." "Skinny ones going home and throwing it up." "The fat one maybe should." "Then they got to eventually come back there spend even more money to work it off." "Yeah, that's fucked up." "Well, you must have gotten some perspective while we were there anyway about whether you can fit your ass into a pair of pants or not." "Oh, I fit my ass in a pair of pants." "Yeah, I actually noticed that before." "You don't mind my saying so." "Jesus Christ, it must suck coming home with all these fucking Oprah assholes up your ass." "You know when I came back, nobody gave a shit." "Nobody said a word... which sucked, in its own way, but at least there wasn't anybody up my ass, trying to get me to tell 'em what was it over there that happened that made you the kind of person" "who would walk his fucking cat on a leash." "Hmm, wow." "I'm called back." "Oh, shit." "Before my custody hearing." "Oh, fuck." "That sucks." "My uncle used to know some Quakers." "Word was, back in the day, they could run you up to Canada." "I don't know but that's what they say." "Hey, you like, uh, venison?" "'Cause I got about two freezers full of it." "I got a blind about a mile from my house." "What do you say?" "Why the fuck not?" "The john's outside." "How do you get electricity in here?" "I stole a line from the county." "I run the fridge and the deep freeze and pretty much everything off that." "No plumbing, however." " Wow." " Yeah." "Thank you." "I used to have a solar panel, for a while." "Some days you have juice, some days you don't." "Cloudy days I'd be reading by the fridge light." "Bunch of meth heads down there." "That shit will fuck you up." "Yeah, well, I know you're into the pure living." "You hungry?" "And then they do this" "Oh, they do this move-- and I gotta, I got to put that down, it's like..." "And it's just like a bunch of six-year-old little kids doing it, and it's ridiculous." "It's like..." "Yes, but then you turn around..." " Terrible." "... and it's, like, two girls doing it like this to each other." "And it's so..." "Oh..." "Were you a cheerleader?" "No, God no." "I..." "Well, I like to dance or whatever, but not for the whole town." "You want to show me some cheers?" " What?" " Mm-hmm." "No!" "Come on, show me some cheers." "Show me some cheers." "You show me some cheers." "I will show you one more thing that she did." "She..." "And the woman who teaches them is hilarious because she loves it so much." "And at the end of the cheer, at the end of like every cheer, they do this..." "And they look real serious." "Aw, she's cute, though, she is really cute." "So you joined 'cause-- so they'd pay for college?" "Yeah, college, but also, when I was a little kid, my aunt, she lived in Adams County and they had this huge tornado and they sent the Guard in, and they were so cool." "That's why you went in?" "Yes, originally." "Tornadoes." "Yeah, a lot of people in my unit joined for stuff like that." "That's rainwater." "That's gross." "It's clean." "If you boil it." " Really." " All right, if you say so." "Anyway, and then I never finished college." "So..." "Oh..." " Ooh." " Mm-hmm." "What about you?" "My, uh, lawn mower ran out of gas." "Come on, seriously." "It was one of those loud pull-start lawn mowers and it ran out of gas, so the engine cut out... and if it had kept going, I would have kept mowing." "But it shut down, and I heard the phone ring." "Plus, the glass door was open and the air conditioning wasn't on." "So because of all those things," "I went inside and answered the phone." "And?" "And... it was the army recruiter." "I can pull out." "No, no, no, don't." " I can do it." " Don't." "Don't, don't, don't." "I want it, I want it." "I want it!" "I like your coffee thing, it's cool." "Thanks, babe." " Do you want some?" " Mm-hmm." "Here you go." "What is that?" "Oxy." "You have a bad back or something?" "Eh, not so much." "These are..." "just the pinks." "You can eat them, but you got to eat a lot of these." "Crushing them is better." "Turns your snot pink but it's worth it." "I gotta... get home." "Think I can walk from here?" "Uh, I can take you." "You can just wait a little while." "I'll be good in like a..." "like an hour?" "Hey, Travis." "I thought you and Mike broke up." "Just give me my fucking change." "You seeing anyone?" "Not yet." "Take care." ""Pointing downward, replace over cap and lay stick on a flat surface with result window facing up."" "Okay, I did that." "You gotta let the hormones build up in there, Kel." "It takes a second." "Okay, so one line is pregnant and two lines is not pregnant, right?" "Ew, your pee is all over that thing." "Oh, fuck, Shannon." "I can't believe you have two kids already." "Yeah, well, if I want to keep them, then I gotta be here," "I can't be in some fucking sandbox." "Are you being serious?" "What the fuck happened to you over there?" "You're acting crazy." "No, I'm not." "Nothing happened to me." "I don't believe you." "Yeah?" "Well, a lot of people had it a lot worse." "You know, I didn't get raped in a Porta-Potty," "I didn't have to fucking carry a dead body, and I didn't get blown up by an IED, so I consider myself pretty lucky because that's what happens over there, Brooke." "Yeah, well, something's wrong because you're standing in a bar bathroom, checking every five seconds to see if you're pregnant yet, which is the worst idea I have ever heard." "It would work." "You know?" "It would work at least for a little bit." "Hey, stranger." "Hey." " Hi, how are you?" " Hi." "I'm good." "You look good." "Yeah." "Hey, where are the kids?" "Well, then you know what, this is not funny, Mike." "I'm here waiting for them." "Yeah, well, it's basically against the law if you don't give them to me." "It's like fucking kidnapping." "Fine, I'll be right there." "This is a plumbing emergency?" "Well, yeah, they're having a big party and they got rust in their fountain." "Is it heated?" "Yeah, it's hot enough." "They're all packed and ready to go." "They had lunch, so..." "You look good." "Yeah, I'm happy to see my kids." "You seem real good." "I'm fine." "Hi, Mom." "All right, honey, here, take your stuff." "Let's get going." "Come on, Brie." "Time to go." "Ready to go with Mama?" "All right." " Got everything?" " Yup." "What?" "Nothing." "You girls say goodbye to your dad." " Bye, Dad." " Bye, honey." "You know, I think this will look good with your eyes." "Well, that's good." "Jackie... now you're gonna be the only one who doesn't have dark hair." "Aren't you gonna wish you had brown hair?" "No, I like my hair blonde." "I don't know, it'd be kind of fun if we all matched." "Don't you think?" "Okay." "Well, hair dye is for grownups, babe." "No, it's okay." "Yeah, she can have it." "Okay." "Come on." "Oh..." "Oh." "All right, we have to get your hair wet." "Can you go on your tippy toes?" "You have very pretty hair." "... for hardworking men." "It's just what you need after a day of assembling flat-packed furniture..." "We like old-school hip-hop and RB on 97.7." "Is old school like school for old people?" "Not really." "Where are we going?" "North." "Will we be back in time for school?" "I thought you hated school." "Well, not Ms. Riley." "I don't hate her." "And not recess." "And I love cheering." "And math." "Next week we have a math test." "And it's Spirit Week, which means very exiting stuff." "Like what kind of stuff?" "Like pyramids, for example." "I'm very important to the pyramids." "Bye, baby." "You like your brown hair?" "Yeah?" "You keep it under this hat, okay, until I drive away?" "I love you so much." "I love you." "Be a big girl, okay?" "Your attention, please." "America West paging Henry Douglas, Henry Douglas, please meet your party at the lower level by baggage carousel two." "May I have your attention, please?" "In a few minutes, we'll begin boarding Flight 1919..." "# Oh me oh my oh #" "# Look at Miss Ohio #" "# She's running around with her ragtop down #" "# She says I want to do right but not right now #" "# Gonna drive to Atlanta #" "# And live out this fantasy #" "# Running around with the ragtop down #" "# Yeah I wanna do right but not right now #" "# Had your arm around her shoulder #" "# A regimental soldier #" "# And Mama starts pushing that wedding gown #" "# Yeah you wanna do right but not right now #" "# Oh me oh my oh #" "# Would ya look at Miss Ohio #" "# She's running around with the ragtop down #" "# She says I wanna do right but not right now #" "# I know all about it #" "# So you don't have to shout it #" "# I'm gonna straighten it out somehow #" "# Yeah I wanna do right but not right now #" "# Oh me oh my oh #" "# Look at Miss Ohio #" "# She's running around with her ragtop down #" "# She says I wanna do right but not right now #" "# Oh I wanna do right but not right now ##"