"Subtitling made possible by Acorn Media" "WOMAN ON RADIO:" "When you've dropped off, can you pick up a Mr. Lavender at 15 Island Street?" "MAN:" "No problem." "Wow." "MAN:" "So he's worth a few bob, then, your uncle." "FAITH:" "Looks like he is." "Stunning." "Just beautiful." " Well, best of luck anyway." " Thank you." " Oh, uh..." " Oh, that's all right." "Oh." "It's been a pleasure." "If ever you want a taxi in a hurry [Chuckles]" "Emergency dash to the airport... escape the rellies..." "just let us know." "All right." "But I think it's gonna be fine." " John." " See you, then." " Bye." " Bye." "Hello, there." "Can I help?" "Oh, I hope so." "I'm looking for Rex Masters." "Oh." "I don't think he's surfaced yet." "FAITH:" "Oh." "Okay." "Rex isn't a great early riser." "Miles King." "I help out in Rex's garden." "Pleased to meet you." "I'm Faith Alexander..." "Rex's niece." "From Philadelphia, with two sons at college?" "That's right." "Has he mentioned me?" "Yes, he did." "You're supposed to be dead." "Rex!" "What the hell's going on?" "!" "[Pounds on door]" "Rex!" "Wake up, you bastard!" "[Jingling]" "[Door opens]" "Rex!" "I'm coming up!" "Rex!" "Rex!" "I know you're in here." "Rex!" "Rex?" "[Singsong] Rex?" "Come out, come out, wherever you are." "Rex!" "Rex!" "Will you stop playing silly beggars?" "!" "Rex!" "Where are you?" "You arranged a time?" "11:00." "We spoke just yesterday." "Excuse me." "When you said..." "Rex!" "[Taps on window]" "Don't know about you." "I could do with a drink." "Can't be every day someone tells you you're supposed to be dead." "No." "It was a plane crash, in case you're wondering." "Entire family wiped out." "All of you." "You, your two sons, husband." "I take it they're alive as well, are they?" "They're fine." "Look, there must be some kind of mistake." "Oh, no." "I think this has all been very deliberate." "But why?" "Who knows with Rex?" "You obviously don't know your uncle that well." "Janet." "Yeah." "Got a bit of surprising news for you." "Rex's dead niece has turned up." "[Gasps] I'm sorry?" "MILES:" "He's excelled himself this time." "Faith Alexander." "Rex's niece who died hideously in a plane crash a year ago?" " JANET:" "Yeah?" " Yeah." "She's alive." "And she's here in Rex's house, asking where he is." "Oh, my God!" "You haven't seen him?" "No." " You are sure it's her?" " MILES:" "Oh, yeah." "And why would she lie to us anyway?" "EILEEN:" "What is he doing?" "!" "Yeah." "Good question." "EILEEN:" "I'm going to have to pop out for a little." "I'll be as quick as I can." "RICHARD:" "What's happening?" "WOMAN:" "Mrs. Petford, you can see the doctor at 4:30." "EILEEN:" "You know Rex told us his niece and her family died in a plane crash?" "Well, she's just turned up on his doorstep, alive and kicking." "What's that old rascal up to now?" "Do I look like I'm finding this entertaining?" "Any sign?" "He's too embarrassed to show his face." "This is more than a bad joke." "Gosh, you must be Faith." "This is Janet..." "Rex's housekeeper." "Well, cleaner, really." "You look just like your picture." "Oh, this must be so weird for you." "I mean, Rex has got his mischievous side..." "Excuse me." "My picture?" "You said I look just like my picture." "Well, yes." "It's always had pride of place." "No one in my family has been in touch with Rex for 40 years." "How did he get this?" "And who's this?" "JANET:" "That?" "Well, that's Rex." "Hello?" "Where is he?" "Still no sign." "This is Faith." "Faith, this is Eileen." "She helps Rex out with the cooking." "We all do our bit." "Or try to." " What's all this about?" " I have no idea." "But I really need to telephone my husband." "Excuse me." " It's definitely her." " God, this is so weird." "Do you know something?" "Why would I know anything?" "He just doesn't want to face us." "So you think all that was just for sympathy?" "I can't believe it." "And I think he would have left a note." "He wouldn't just not be here, surely." "What's going on?" "I saw your car." "Rex has disappeared, and his dead niece has turned up." "FAITH:" "Nobody knows where he is." "All right." "I'll call you when I hear something." "Bye." "Maybe he had one too many and nodded off somewhere." "It's a bit early." "Perhaps we should call the police." "Oh, hi, Faith." "This is Jeremy, my fiancé." "You think we should call the police?" "We're just covering all the options, Faith." "We're not saying that something's happened." "He can be a bit unpredictable." "At times." "It's probably all for the sake of a grand entrance." "JANET:" "Perhaps I should call." "D.C.I. BARNAB Y:" "Any mention of Alzheimer's?" "They didn't say anything." "They didn't say anything." "You think he's gone for a wander in his dressing gown?" "Well, it might explain his confusion over nieces and plane crashes, mightn't it?" "We've made all the usual checks." "And there are a few coincidences." "And he's quite a wealthy man." "I don't know." "It seems a bit iffy." " Do you want to check it out?" " Yeah." "I do." "Okay." "Off you go." "See what you can dig up." "Yes, sir." "Oh..." "JANET:" "Her husband's in London on business." "They flew over together, apparently." "And what about Mr. Masters?" "Is there any history of mental problems, dementia?" " [Laughing] Absolutely not." " He's as sharp as a knife." "He knows exactly what he's doing." "And we've rung around everyone that we know, and there's no sign of him." "Any idea why he might have come up with this story about the plane crash?" "He can be a bit of an oddball." "Look, I'm sorry." "I really have to be going." "I have to get back to the surgery as well." "No problem." "You'll call me if anything happens?" "Yes, of course." "So, what else can you tell me about Mr. Masters?" "What's he like?" "He's an old-fashioned charmer, really." "Artistic." "He was quite a well-known society photographer." "Wealthy." "Actually, I think the money's been running a bit low." "At least that's what he's saying." "FAITH:" "We spoke yesterday, and he said, "See you tomorrow at 11:00."" "But then there's this plane-crash thing." "He couldn't have confused it with another one involving other members of the family?" "There is no one else." "There was nothing he said when you spoke to him on the phone?" "Nothing unusual?" "He didn't seem odd or out of sorts?" "I don't think so." "I don't know him that well, really." "Just phone conversations." "I've only been in touch with him for the last couple of months." "The only thing that seemed a little odd thing is he seemed very interested in my health." "That is kind of strange." "I've always been lucky as far as that goes, but he seems very concerned." "And then there's the photos." "There's more than one." "He..." "He's got recent pictures of your whole family in the study." "Well, as far as I know, my Uncle Rex hasn't been in touch with anyone in my family for over 40 years." "Not until I got in touch with him a few months ago." "He and my mother fell out before I was born." "There was a big family feud." "Have you spoken to your mother about this?" "No." "She died 10 years ago." "I don't understand any of it." "I was really looking forward to meeting him." "Have you ever found out what the feud was about?" "It was something that happened when my mother was living in Midsomer Deverell when she was a teenager." "Something between my Uncle Rex and my mother's best friend at the time." " Who was..." " Who was the friend?" "She became quite famous." "Uh, Lucinda Thacker." "Mama Lucy of Ethiopia?" "Lucinda Thacker?" "Yes, that's right." "The famous missionary." "I can't believe this." "She was Jeremy's mother." "Jeremy I met?" "Yeah." "My fiancé." "He's the curator of the Mama Lucy Museum." "[Cellphone rings]" "Excuse me." "Sir?" " Are you with them now?" " Yes, sir." "I'm afraid your hunch was right." "They've found Rex Masters' body." "MAN:" "Leave your name and number." "I'll get back to you." "He's still on voice mail." "Can I get you anything?" "No, thank you." "What are you gonna do?" "You've come all this way." "I don't know." "Where are you gonna stay?" "Well, I don't know." "Do you think it would be all right if I stayed here?" "Would you want to?" "Oh, yes." "Yes, I would like to very much." "We'll need you to remain in the area for the time being." "I'm sure it'll be fine if you stay here." "Where was he found?" "Uh, his body was found in the river." "The river?" "Below Crofter's Weir." "Are you all right?" "It's nothing." "It's just..." "The water." "How awful." "That's it." "That's it." "Lady from the lockkeeper's cottage found him." "Or rather her dog did." "His body was caught up in the branches over there." "Abrasions to the head." "Had a feeling it'd be something like this." "Well, we don't know whether someone hit him and ended up in the water, or he fell in, hit his head on the way down." "I'm hoping that Bullard will shed some light." "JONES:" "It's a bit of a coincidence, this all happening as the long-lost niece turns up." "And there's this stuff about the plane crash." "I don't know what to make of her." "She seems genuine." "And the husband, he's up in London on business, yes?" "Yeah." "They flew over together." "She's still trying to get hold of him." "D.C.I. BARNAB Y:" "Afternoon, sir." "JACK:" "Afternoon." "[Door opens]" "You knew Rex Masters, then, Mr. Pearce?" "That's right." "Known him for 50 years." "Longer." "We both have." " This is Amie, my wife." " Hello there." "I'm Tom Barnaby, and this is Ben Jones from Causton C.I.D." "I understand that you actually saw Rex Masters yesterday, is that right?" "When Janet phoned, Jack wasn't here." "So I said we hadn't seen him because I didn't know Jack had." "What time did you actually see Rex Masters?" "Oh, about 8:30." "We often saw him on his evening stroll." "He loved it down here." "And he'd take the same route, would he?" "I would have said so." "Down past the weir, across the bridge, and back along Studland Lane." "What's this about the niece turning up?" "She's alive, and the rest of her family as well?" "D.C.I. BARNAB Y:" "Yes." "That's right." "I know this place." "Thought you'd never been here before." "When I was young my parents put me in boarding school over here." "My mother came and took me out for the day." "She took me to a river." "It looked like this." "That's Crofter's Weir." "It's where Rex's body was found." "[Bell jingles]" "JONES:" "Hello?" "I'll go." "[Dialing]" "JONES:" "This is Detective Chief Inspector Barnaby." "This is Janet Bailey." "MAN:" "Sorry I can't take your call right now." "D.C.I. BARNAB Y:" "We don't know yet." "But until we find a cause of death, we have to treat it as suspicious." "This is Faith..." "Rex's niece from America." "Hello." "Well, we'll have to talk to you both in due course." "But in the meantime can you tell us..." "Do you know anywhere where Rex might have left a note?" "Not suicide." "Well, we have to consider all possibilities." "Um, I suppose he might have left something in the study." "But I can't believe it." "Not Rex." "I was probably the only other person who came in here." "FAITH:" "They go back years." "As far as Mrs. Alexander knew, none of her family had been in touch with Rex for 40 years." "Not until a few months ago when I first spoke to him." "Have you got any idea where he got these pictures from?" "He didn't say." "I didn't ask." "D.C.I. BARNAB Y:" "Now I want this room left exactly as it is, okay?" "There's no other keys, are there?" " No." " Okay." "Who's his solicitor?" "Uh, Jane Benbow, in Causton." "It's Iver Street." "Right." "You wouldn't happen to know who inherits, would you?" "Yes, I do, actually." "I was a witness." "He told me." "Well, would you mind telling us?" "Um..." "Um, well, there were a couple of small bequests, I remember." "I think he left a case of the Cristal champagne to Jane Benbow... to lighten the load for being executor and " for having such very pretty legs."" "That was very Rex." "And the chief beneficiary is?" "Oh!" "Faith Alexander, his niece." "I..." "I had no idea." "I never met him." "I swear I had no idea." "It's okay." "Fine, fine." "And when was the will signed?" "Must've been about four years ago." "All right." "Now, there is the matter of the official identification of the body." "I'll do it, if you like." "I'd like to be there." "Thank you." "So, what have we got?" "The cause is definitely drowning." "I'm not sure about the abrasions, whether they were caused before or after he entered the water." "My instinct is before." "Oh, and he was hit with a smooth, tubular-shaped object." "Could it have been an accident?" "Suzanne." "I'm sure you realize, as Rex's solicitor," "I can't divulge the contents of his will." "Of course not." "But I spoke to one of the witnesses, and she told me that Faith Alexander, well, she was going to inherit pretty well everything." "And I wondered if you could just confirm that for us." "But you wouldn't deny it." "No." "The will was dated four years ago." "Do you know of any more recent will?" "Well, up until today I would have said no." "But Eileen Carnack got in touch with me, requesting an urgent meeting." "I don't know if you know her." "She used to cook for Rex." "I've met her." "A neighbor of his." "JANE:" "Yes, that's right." "It's clearly regarding a new version of Rex's will." "In fact, she's, um..." " She's due any..." " [Intercom buzzes] ...moment." "It would be very useful to us to learn the contents of that will." "Yes?" "WOMAN:" "Your next appointment is here." "Send Mrs. Carnack in." "Oh." "I'm sorry." "I didn't realize." "Is that a new will?" "Uh, yes." "Yes, it is." "Would you mind awfully if I had a look at it?" "I'm Detective Chief Inspector Barnaby from Causton C.I.D." " Oh, of course." " Thank you." "It's such a tragedy." "We've all been just so shocked." "This is dated six months ago." "With you as beneficiary of the entire estate." "EILEEN:" "I think he wanted to reward me for the help I've given him over the years." "Is it the... the most recent version, do you know?" "By any chance?" "It appears to be." "I said it was too much." "But generous to a fault." "Dear Rex." "Well, I..." "I'll leave it with you, then, shall I?" "Don't think there's anything more to discuss." "Oh." "No." "Mrs. Carnack?" "Mrs. Carnack?" "Mrs. Carnack, um, I'd like to ask you, if I may..." "Hello." "Oh, he..." "I didn't realize that you were busy." "We could come back later." "What's that?" "It's, um, a letter from Rex, to be opened in the event of his death." "He gave it to me for safekeeping." "Actually, it's a bit embarrassing." "It's a new will." "D.C.I. BARNAB Y:" "Ah." "It all seems to be in order." "Dated just a couple of months ago." "With who as the main beneficiary?" "Oh. [Clears throat] It's me." "He left everything to me." "Interestingly, um, both wills have been witnessed by Mr. And Mrs. Pearce, of Lockkeeper's Cottage." "But it is definitely valid?" "Oh, yes." "Unless another one turns up." "And on current form..." "Rex has been playing a little game with us." "Irrespective of which will is valid, anyone who believed that they were the legitimate beneficiaries of Rex Masters' will, they would have had good motive to kill him." "Need to ask both of you where you were between 8:30 and 9:00 yesterday evening." "Janet?" "Um, I was at home with Jeremy." "That's right." "We had an evening in." "Eileen?" "Actually, I was at Miles's cottage." "Briefly." "I went round to pick up some flower pots he'd promised me, and I stayed for a quick drink." " When did you get there?" " About 8:30." "And when did you leave?" "About 9:00, actually." "[Bell jingles]" "[Knock on door]" "Mr. Barnaby, Mr. Jones." "Mrs. Alexander." "We've just come from Rex's solicitor's." "And it turns out that Rex made two more wills since the one four years ago which had you as chief beneficiary." "And I'm afraid that you're not mentioned in either." "In fact, the most recent one... the one regarded as the legitimate version... that leaves the entire estate to Janet Bailey." "Your uncle's cleaning lady, housekeeper." "Yes, I know who she is." "I can't say I'm not disappointed." "But it was my Uncle Rex's decision." "And I like Janet." "She seems a very deserving person." "I understand that you were in London at the time." "Would you mind telling us where exactly in London you were between 8:30 and 9:00?" "I was in my hotel room, asleep." "Jet lag." "We'd only arrived a few hours earlier." "Can anyone confirm that?" "My husband." "Anyone other than your husband?" "Oh." "The people at the hotel." "The Burnham in Piccadilly." "Mrs. Alexander, why, after all this time, did you decide to get in touch with your uncle?" "I mean, just now." "I know it must seem a bit of a coincidence." "All I can say is I don't know." "I was feeling a bit nest-empty." "My sons are away at college." "Somebody mentioned the Lucinda Thacker biography." "Which got me thinking about Midsomer." "Which got me thinking about family." "Which got me thinking about Rex." "I knew that Rex was about 80." "I thought if I was ever going to meet him, I'd better hurry up." "You're going to be quite a wealthy woman." "Do you still want to marry me?" "Of course I do." "What a thing to say." "JACK:" "Oh, yes." "We witnessed his signature." "On several occasions." "But he didn't tell us what the documents were." "They were all wills?" "Seems he changed his mind quite a lot." "AMIE:" "That's one way of putting it." "Another might be that he was fraudulently purchasing loyalty." "I loved Rex dearly." "But he could be a complete and utter toe-rag." "Excuse me." "This is the Lucinda Thacker biography." "That's right." "The famous Mama Lucy." "Yes, I know who she is." "Uh, can I have a word, sir?" "D.C.I. BARNAB Y:" "Would you excuse us, please?" "Faith told me Lucinda Thacker and her mum were good friends when she lived in Midsomer Deverell." "Before she moved to the States." "She reckoned the reason her mum and Rex fell out was because of something that happened between Rex and Lucinda." " Did she say what?" " Doesn't know." "But odds on, it's loin-instigated." "Got to be." "If it involved Rex." "I don't know if it's got anything to do with anything." ""Loin-instigated."" "Written by Jeremy Thacker." "The son." "He takes his mother very seriously." "Well, she was a truly remarkable woman in many ways." "But beatification?" "Hmm!" "Jeremy's trying to drum up support from the local bishop." "AMIE:" "We're all very proud of her, of course, but it does feel a bit like a veneration too far." "May I borrow this?" "Thank you." "She's not quite the humorless do-gooder the book suggests." "She'd have hooted at the idea of sainthood." "Eileen?" "Can you just stop tidying up?" "Just..." "leave it." "They're saying at The Barge that you turned up at Rex's solicitor's today with a will that had you as beneficiary." "I told them it wasn't true." "Why shouldn't it be true?" "Well, you'd have told me." "Why would I have told you?" "You have to know everything, do you?" "Is that it?" "I have to tell you everything that's going on in my life?" "You thought you were inheriting all of Rex's money, and you... and you never mentioned it?" "I gave up a career for you!" "And the children." "Do you have any idea what it's like being beholden to someone else all the time?" "Surviving on handouts?" "!" "Do you?" "!" "Do you?" "!" "[Scoffs] Like hell you do!" "I'm sorry." "I had no idea." "Is it true there was another will that made it invalid?" "Uh, yes, it is." "So you don't have to worry." "What are you doing reading the biography of our local female missionary?" "I thought pulp thrillers were more your kind of thing." "Well, since you ask, it has to do with a suspicious death we are investigating." "Chap by the name of Rex Masters." "Oh!" "What do you mean, "Oh"?" "Did you know him?" "He's supposed to be the mystery man who had his wicked way with Lucinda Thacker." "But, you know, some people think she wasn't as innocent as her son made out in the book." "Not in her teens, anyway." "Apparently she used to run with quite a racy crowd." "Joyce, oh pretty lady, how do you know all this?" "Causton Book Club reading list." "Chapter Three." "[Knocks on door]" "D.C.I. BARNAB Y:" "Mr. King." "I'm Detective Chief Inspector Barnaby." "And you've already met Detective Sergeant Jones, haven't you?" "Could we have a moment, please?" "[Sighs] Very well." "Thank you." "We need to ask you some questions about the night Rex Masters went missing." "We're trying to establish what everyone's movements were at the time." "What do you want to know?" "You were just going out, weren't you?" "Yes, I was." "And you were going to see Mrs. Benbow?" "Why do you ask?" "If that's a will of Rex Masters' you have there, and if that's dated any earlier than two months ago, you're wasting your time." "It is, isn't it?" "May I?" " Wasting my time?" " Thank you." "Yes." "Two other Rex Masters wills have come to light recently... neither, I'm afraid, with you as a beneficiary." "One dated two months ago." "The other, six months ago." "Oh, and this one 12 months ago." "MILES:" "And the recent will of two months ago..." "It's valid?" " Yes, it is." " Who is it?" "Who's the beneficiary?" "Is it the niece?" "No." "It's Janet Bailey." "Bastard!" "Bastard!" "You know she might not want your help anymore." "Oh, I feel I have to offer." "She's on her own in a foreign country." "Well, don't be too hurt if she gives you the cold shoulder." "Perhaps you should think of some kind of inventory." "Of the contents." "I'm just being practical." "I knew it." "I knew it." "What an absolute bloody fool I've been." "My God!" "Why did I ever believe him?" "Mr. King, may I ask how long had you known Rex Masters?" "Oh, we went way back." "Supposed to be friends." "All that work I did for him." "For nothing." "Bloody nothing!" "How did the will... the will with you as beneficiary..." "How did that come about?" "Oh, he always said he'd provide for me." "So you made him put it in writing?" "Why not?" "He milked it hard enough." "Never had any money to pay me." ""House rich, cash poor." "Don't you worry, my boy!" "You'll be provided for."" "Who wouldn't be worried?" "It's not as if you've got any family to leave it to." "Not anymore." "Oh." "I see." "I've relandscaped the entire garden out there virtually single-handed." "And what a wonderful job you've done." "Oh, it's..." "l-lt's a triumph." "Oh, why not?" "Who else deserves it more than you?" "Organize it." "My signature is at your disposal." "MILES:" "I should've known." "And of course, once the will was signed, there were always some other "little things"" "he wanted doing..."my boy."" "Like mowing the lawn twice a week." "Rebuilding the pergola." "Endlessly weeding those herbaceous bloody borders." "I can't believe I did all that." "Oh, Rex." "Rex." "Mr. King, we're asking everyone this, of course..." "Where were you between 8:30 and 9:00 on the evening that Rex Masters went missing?" "I was here." "Anyone corroborate that?" "Well, yes." "Eileen, actually." "She came over to collect some flower pots at 8:30, which is what we had arranged." "She had a drink and then left about 9:00." "FAITH:" "Janet, thank you for being so great." "Well, anyway, I just wanted you to hear it from me." "Hello." "Hello there." "Hello." "FAITH:" "I know that house." "I've been here before." "This is Amie Pearce." "She knew Rex as well as anyone." "Hi." "Amie, this is Faith Alexander." "Rex's niece." "Yes." "We've met before." "Many years ago." "Your mother brought you here." "Rex asked me to act as an intermediary to try and broker some kind of peace." "But your mother flatly refused." "She wanted nothing to do with him." "I don't remember that." "She told you to go into the garden." "And I went to the weir." "That's right." "We couldn't find you." "There was a man." "REX:" "Beautiful, isn't it?" "Yes, it is." "But frightening too." "Well, they often go together." "For some of us, that is." "Mustn't let the fear win, though." "Never let the fear win." "Hmm?" "[Laughs]" "Mrs. Pearce, did you stay in touch with my mother?" "No." "I think she rather saw me as being on Rex's side, which I wasn't." "Do you know what the feud was about?" "I know something happened between Lucinda and Rex." "It wasn't spoken of." "Wasn't there any gossip?" "There's invariably gossip." "But I endeavor always to forget the words of idle tongues." "EILEEN:" "He was always making out he was hard up." "Always asking favors." "There was always another dinner party he wanted me to cook for." "I never seemed to say no." "Don't know why." "I can't withdraw the invitations." "Doesn't it ever occur to you that I have other things to do?" "You might even offer to pay me." "Well, I would." "Of course I would." "But you know how it is." "It's..." "It's the bloody bank manager." "And yet you have all these people to dinner?" "Well, I know I have no right to ask this of you." "Why don't you sell a painting?" "Or a statue or something?" "I know you don't mean that." "I know you wouldn't want me to sell my babies." "He said..." "[Sighs]" "He'd be dead soon..." "And that he'd leave everything to me." "So long as I let him taste my pavlova one more time." "I told him I wanted it in writing." "I want that in writing." "Of course." "Of course you do." "Oh..." "And the lobster..." "Now, they must taste the bisque, hmm?" "Oh, you know..." "If I was just a few years younger," "If I was just a few years younger," "I could lose myself in those dark, dark eyes." "We do the paperwork tomorrow." "REX:" "Of course." "Can you think of any reason why someone might want to kill him?" "Any enemies?" "No." "There were a few people who didn't approve of him." "His lifestyle." "But no enemies." "As far as I'm aware." "Uh, just one more thing, Mrs. Carnack, if I may?" "Close as you are to Rex Masters' place, did you notice anything unusual round about the time he disappeared?" "EILEEN:" "No." "Oh, this is Richard, my husband." "Ah, Dr. Carnack." "I'm Detective Chief Inspector Barnaby." "This is Detective Sergeant Jones." "We were just asking your wife, you know, whether she'd seen anything unusual round about the time that Rex Masters disappeared." "I've explained there was nothing." "Well, actually, I did see something." "On my way back from the pub." "I suppose it was about 9:00." "A man sitting in his car outside Rex's house." "Why didn't you mention it before?" "Well, nobody asked me before." "And I hadn't really thought about it, I suppose." "It was a hatchback." "Blue, I think." "Did you recognize him?" "No." "He wasn't particularly distinctive." "In his 40s, I'd say." "D.C.I. BARNAB Y:" "Would you recognize him again?" "I doubt it." "I didn't get much of a look." "FAITH:" "It was here." ""Don't let the fear win."" "That's what he said to me." "That's what Rex said to me." "30 years ago." "Right on this spot." "I know it was Rex." "Sounds like the kind of thing Rex would say." "FAITH:" "Talking to him these last couple of months on the phone, getting to know him..." "We just clicked, you know?" "I don't think I've ever clicked with anyone." "Of course, the house is..." "I think I let the fear win." "My whole life." "Compromise." "Safety." "Doing what was expected." "Look at me." "Jeans and sneakers." "Hiding." "It's not me." "It's not." "I don't think it ever was." "Well, look, I don't know too much about the philosophical stuff, but... we can do something about the clothes." "That suits you." " Does it?" " Yeah." "He gave me a few dresses, your uncle." "And then there was the underwear." "Really?" "He was very naughty." "In what way?" "Um, he was never very fond of Jeremy." "Mmh, you must promise me not to wear it for him." "No, it's wasted on the godly." "Only for me." "Only when you're here." "It'll be enough to know you've got it on underneath." "To hear it rustle." "[Chuckles] Come here." "Is there no limit to your depravity, Rex Masters?" "Oh, there's a limit to everything, my dear." "And the end of it all is galloping towards me at breakneck speed." "Gather ye rosebuds while ye may." "Try it on for me." "Go on." "And I'm afraid I did." "[Footsteps thudding]" "[Door opens, closes]" "[Footsteps]" "[Door opens, closes]" "[Door closes]" "[Thudding, cracking]" "FAITH: [Gasps]" "[Metal clanks]" "[Door closes]" "She's a bit shaken, but she seems okay." "Yeah." "When?" "When did it happen?" "About 1:00 a.m." "Apparently she knocked something over upstairs." "The intruder heard it and did a runner." "Looks like they were trying to get into the study." "It was on the floor just there." "It's one of the kitchen knives." "You can see the marks where they tried to force it." "There's nothing obviously missing from the rest of the house." "If it was a burglary for monetary gain, there's plenty of valuable stuff they could've stolen more easily." "Chief Inspector." " How are you feeling?" " Okay." "I'm sorry." "It must've been very frightening." "I was terrified, actually." "Fortunately, I think he was as well." "He ran away as soon as he heard me clattering around upstairs." " So you didn't see anything?" " No, I'm sorry." "I was about to make some coffee." "Would you like some?" "Yes, please." "Thank you." "Okay." " D.C.I. BARNAB Y:" "Hmm." " Sir?" "Maybe whoever it was, was after another will." "Seems to have been pretty keen on them." "Better put an officer on the front door in case whoever it was comes back for another try." "It's gonna take a long time to look through all this." "You think it's connected to Rex's death?" "Well, if it isn't, Jones, it's a very big coincidence." "I know something else about Rex Masters." "In the Mama Lucy biography..." "by the son, Jeremy Thacker... he says that when his mother was a young woman back in the early 60s, she was sexually assaulted by an older man who abused his position of trust and that she never really recovered from that." "Apparently there was much local speculation as to the identity of this Mr. X, but it looks like it may well have been Rex Masters." "So that's what the feud between Rex and his sister was about." " You don't think Jeremy..." " [Cellphone rings] ...was trying to avenge his mother's honor?" "Well, he was taking his time about it if he was." "Hello?" "Mr. Barnaby, this is Jane Benbow." "Hi." "I've just been going through some of Rex's finances, and, um, well, I've found something that I thought you should know about." "What is it?" "You told me that your family had had no contact with your Uncle Rex for over 40 years, yeah?" " Yes." " Yes." "But we've just discovered that your Uncle Rex was making large, regular payments, amounting to many tens of thousands of pounds, into an account in Philadelphia, in your husband, Alan's, name." "The first payment was made some 10 years ago, and the last, one year ago." "Oh, my God." "Were you not aware of this?" "No." "No." "As far as I know, my husband has never met Uncle Rex, he has never had any contact with him at all." "We'll need to talk to him." "We'll both need to talk to him." "He arrives in an hour." "# But when you're so close to me #" "# As good as it seems #" "# Something that I can't see, whoa, no-o-o-o #" "JEREMY:" "It was Rex Masters." "That's absolutely definite." "So the man who assaulted your mother when she was 17 years old was indeed Rex Masters?" "Absolutely." "I couldn't name names in the book, obviously." "The lawyers would have had a fit." "But... oh, yes..." "that's who it was." "He got her blind drunk and forced himself on her." "They call it date rape now." "Back then the shame of it was just too great." "Better for everyone to pretend it hadn't happened." "Did your mother herself tell you all this?" "As good as." "She didn't like to talk about it, but she never denied it when I asked her." "You know he tried me to get me to withdraw the book from sale?" "No, I didn't know that." "Said it was a thinly disguised version of himself." "Which of course it was." "Claimed it was libelous, which I knew it wasn't." "I got the lawyers to check that out very thoroughly." "I said I'd see him in court." "So you can see" "I won't be shedding many tears for Rex Masters." "Mr. Thacker, I have to ask you this..." "Where were you at 1:00 a.m. Last night?" "At a party in London given by my agent." "Why?" "There was a break-in at Stonecroft House, and we have to ask everyone." "I see." "We'll need your agent's details for corroboration." " Speak to her now if you like." " [Beep]" "You poor, poor thing." "Don't you worry, now." "Everything'll be all right now." "I'm here now." "Alan's here." "Blue hatchback." "This is Detective Chief Inspector Barnaby and Detective Sergeant Jones." " Hi." " How do you do?" "[Sighs] Terrible thing." "Terrible thing." "Something's different." "What, a new hairdo?" "What..." "What is it?" "Mr. Alexander, we'd very much like to talk to you about the large sums of money you received from Rex Masters over the nine years until last June." "Ohhh!" "Of course." "[Laughs] I think I know what you're talking about." "Yeah, it's a little misunderstanding." "Don't you worry." "We can sort it out, guys." "FAITH:" "I really want to know what's going on as well." "D.C.I. BARNAB Y:" "Money from the account of Rex Masters over here... to the account of Alan Alexander in Philadelphia." "Several payments there, you see." "Amounting in total to £ 160,000" "I don't know what that is in dollars, but it's certainly quite a lot." "So If you could start at the beginning, please?" "Okay." "This is not easy for me." "I suppose I first got in touch with Rex, I guess, 10 years ago, when Faith started to get her..." "medical problems." "I know..." "I know we should have had sufficient insurance, and I blame myself." "I knew Rex was well-off." "So I phoned him on a long shot in the hope that he could ease the pain for my dear Faith." "Should I have let her continue to suffer?" "I couldn't do that." "Didn't Rex want to talk to her... to Faith?" "Well, they were women's issues." " And I explained that to Rex." " And Rex accepted it?" "Actually, he insisted that I didn't tell her he was helping." "All he wanted in return was for me to keep him informed about the family." "That was all." "The photos." "Oh, you know about them?" "Yeah, I sent him photos from time to time." "Funny." "Faith told me she's always been very lucky with her health." "Janet Bailey, isn't it?" "Yes." "What's happened?" "Is Faith all right?" "She's fine." "We've been in touch with the local police in your hometown, and you've got quite a reputation there." "Several failed businesses." "Gambling problem." "Why did Rex stop making payments, Mr. Alexander?" "The truth, please, this time." "Okay." "Right." "Well..." "I was over here on a business trip about a year ago, and I came down to see Rex." " You met him here in Midsomer?" " Right." "He wanted me to tell Faith that he'd like to talk to her, and I said I would ask her if that would be okay." "And you told him that Faith didn't want to talk to him." "Which was a lie, wasn't it?" "Because you hadn't mentioned it to her, had you?" "For obvious reasons." "What happened when you told him?" "Well, he turned a bit frosty." "So the family are still adopting the moral high ground, is that it?" "Well, you no longer exist for me anymore." " Rex..." " No, no, no, no!" "As far as I'm concerned, you're all dead." "I never want to see hide nor hair of any single one of you ever again." "Now get out!" "Go on!" "Get out!" "Out!" "Out!" "Get out!" "Pest!" "I guess he must have kind of embroidered it with the plane-crash story." "So when Faith decided off her own bat a couple of months ago to make contact, that must have been very awkward for you." "JONES:" "Is that why you killed him?" "To stop Faith finding out what you were up to all those years?" "I didn't kill anyone." "Okay, Mr. Alexander." "Now..." "I want you to think very carefully before you answer this next question, okay?" "Someone saw a man of about your age sitting in a blue hatchback which was parked outside Rex's house on the evening that he disappeared." "Now, there's a very good chance that this witness may be able to recognize that person and give us a positive I.D." "So..." "Where were you on the evening you arrived in this country?" "I was down here." "I'd already spoken to him and persuaded him not to mention the money." "I just wanted to make double sure." "D.C.I. BARNAB Y:" ""Double sure."" "As in knocking him over the head and pushing him in the river?" "I did not kill him!" "I..." "I went to his house, and he wasn't there." "What time was that?" "Around 8:30." "I-I guess I waited until 10:00." "I had to get back to London." "What?" "The estimated time of death is some time after 8:30." "[Chuckles]" "Oh..." "All right." "I can see I'm gonna have to tell you." "I think I saw the murderer." "It's true." "And we're supposed to believe you?" "I am serious." "I saw the murderer." "I'd been sitting, waiting in the car." "It was dark, and I was just thinking about giving up when I saw a figure appear by the front door." "Couldn't work out where it came from." "And before I could get out of the car, whoever it was had let themselves in." "I thought it was kind of weird because they didn't turn on the lights." "They must have heard me, 'cause suddenly a flashlight was in my eyes." "Whoever it was ran off, out the back door." "[Glass breaking]" "And I could hear someone in the backyard knocking stuff over." "What did you do then?" "What could I do?" "I had to get back to London." "I just had to hope that Rex wouldn't mention anything to Faith when she came down." "I guess he was already dead." "JONES:" "Do you think our American friend really did see an intruder, sir?" "Well, we'll need to talk to the wife, won't we?" "But if he did see someone, it means there's something in that study that someone wants to get his hands on very badly." "JEREMY:" "The exhibition is on the left and my mother's house is on the right." "Let's go through." "Well?" "I'm thinking about it." "Don't take too long." "[Car door opens, closes]" "She's gone for a walk, sir." "With her friend Janet Bailey." "Has she?" "Thanks." "Thanks very much." "FAITH:" "Everybody says you have to work at marriage." "You have to tough it out." "Maybe there really is a reasonable explanation." "FAITH:" "No." "I'd been hiding the truth from myself for years." "I was just too scared to admit it." "MAN ON RADIO:" "Remember, it's your last chance to enter our competition of the week." "And what a great prize it is." "Whoever wins... along with a guest of their choice..." "They'll be flown first class to Paris for a weekend of five-star luxury." "And how about that?" "No wonder so many of you have already entered." "And for those of you who haven't, then we just give you the chance..." "We're gonna give you just one more time..." "[Bolt turning]" "Remember, it's your last chance to enter." "Remember, now, that the only way of entering is, is if you actually do it by e-mail now because it's too late by post." "Basically, these days, you can enter competitions any way you like." "Do it by e-mail, by phone, or by post." "In the old days, it was always on a postcard, please." "But these days, it's whatever way you can manage." "[Instrumental plays]" "Black-and-white." "I suppose that makes it erotica rather than porn." "Very tasteful." "A bit of extracurricular photography." "I never realized they had such adventurous sex in those days." "That's when it was invented, Jones... in the 60s." "Do you know nothing?" "JONES:" "Aha." "Looks like the erotic-photo career spanned several decades." "Can see what he meant about the legs." "Don't think the Law Society would be too impressed, though." "Still, they're quite mild, aren't they?" "Well, there's always the possibility that those are just the warm-up shots." "What do you mean?" "Well, if there were other more explicit pictures, she wouldn't want anyone getting hold of them." "Mr. Barnaby?" "Uh..." "[Clears throat]" "Where's my husband?" "Well, we're keeping him at the station for the time being." "Mrs. Alexander, did you mention to your husband at all what happened last night..." "I mean about the intruder trying to break into the study?" "No, I didn't." "What did my husband say about the money?" "Well, it seems that your Uncle Rex was sending those large amounts of money to your husband to pay for what he believed were your medical bills." "Quarter of a million dollars over nine years." "Oh, my God." "Oh, my God." "It's official." "My husband is a con man." "Miss Bailey, we have to ask everyone where they were at 1:00 last night." "So I'm asking you." "Where were you?" "I was at home in bed." "Jeremy was in London." "At a party given by his agent." "Oh, yes, we know that." "We've spoken to him." "Confirmed by several other people." "There's just one thing." "On the night of Rex's disappearance... when you were at home with Jeremy..." "Are you sure about the timings on that?" "I mean, you definitely were there between 8:30 and 9:00, were you?" "Yes." "Why are you asking?" "I just want to make things absolutely clear." "I was just thinking, sir..." "What if Mrs. Alexander made up the whole thing about someone trying to break into the study last night?" "Why would she do that?" "Maybe she wanted to get in there herself." "She made a mess of the doorframe." "That's her explanation for it." "And why is she trying to get into the study?" "Another will?" "Well, look, Jones, if there is a more recent will and she is a beneficiary, it's still a perfectly legal document, isn't it?" "Why not wait for us to find it?" "Uh..." "looks more convincing?" "She thought it would get us to look through the study more quickly?" "I'm digging a bit of a hole for myself." "The simplest explanation is often the right one." "MAN ON RADIO:" "Today's weather in the Midsomer area..." "Today's temperature high is going to be about 77 degrees." "And a low this evening of about 62." "Right." "He's in the middle of unloading his shopping and got a phone call." "D.C.I. BARNAB Y:" "Then again..." "Traffic and travel coming up here..." "Mr. King?" "Hello?" "Anyone home?" "Oh, my God." "Eileen and Miles." "You must be so proud." " Well..." " [Sirens wailing]" "And good luck with the beatification." "Thank you." "DR. BULLARD:" "Seems like it was pretty quick for both of them." "DR. BULLARD:" "Seems like it was pretty quick for both of them." "And recent." "Very recent." "The male died first." "And the female shortly after." "JONES:" "Surely you'd need a lot of strength to stab two people." "Could a woman have done it?" "Oh, yeah." "Whoever it was could have gained access via the gate to the back lane and left the same way." "No one saw him." "Or her." "Ah, it's two suspects less, anyway." "What?" "I suppose she'll be at peace now." "As they say." "Not the happiest of people." "Not recently." "Well, not with me, anyway." "JONES:" "She did seem a bit..." "What was that?" "Depression?" "Emotional problems?" "Oh, time-of-life stuff, I think." "I suggested HRT once." "And she came at me with a knife." "I put that particular suggestion on the old back burner." "Dr. Carnack, have you any idea... any idea at all... why Eileen went to Miles King's house?" "Yes, I think I do, actually." "Miles rang Eileen yesterday evening and told her he thought he knew how Rex's will favoring Janet might be contested." "I think he wanted to get something out of it." "I told her not to get involved." "Rather looks as though she ignored my advice." "[Sighs]" "Eileen Carnack." " And Miles King." " JANET:" "I know." "FAITH:" "Who would do such a thing?" "Have you heard the news?" " It's terrible." " It's awful." "Very glad you're here." "There's something..." "something I want to ask you." "There's something I wanted to see you about as well." "I had a visit yesterday from Miles King." "At your offices?" "It was all in confidence." "But in the light of what's happened," "I..." "I thought I'd better tell you." "He seemed to be in a bit of a hurry." "Is there some kind of legal principle that bars people from profiting from their crimes?" "There is, yes." "And it applies to wills?" "Are you suggesting what I think you're suggesting?" "Does the same principle apply to wills and inheritance?" "JANE:" "I don't know if it has any bearing on what's happened, but I thought you should know." "What was it you wanted to see me about, Mr. Barnaby?" "Um..." "I wanted to ask you if you've ever posed for Rex Masters?" "Ah." "Right." "You did pose for him?" "He kept copies of the photos." "And you're asking me questions you already know the answer to." "Which means you're establishing whether I'm a liar, and if I am, whether I'm any good at it." "Does that make me a suspect?" "What sort of pictures were they?" "That's fair enough, I suppose." "We're all suspects." "They were a little bit risqué." "And there they are." "What a surprise." "Excuse me." "Rex suggested they might make a good birthday present for my husband." "He had the habit of, um, well, bringing out the naughtiness in people." "Where are the others?" "What others?" "Well, he wouldn't have taken just three." "Um..." "It's a while ago now, but I..." "I don't think he took any more." "Certainly nothing more indiscreet." "If we believe what Mrs. Benbow was saying and what Dr. Carnack told us, then it looks like Miles thought he could prove that the murderer was the beneficiary of that latest will." "Which means I'll have to reassess my take on Janet." "JONES:" "She's been convincing." "Yes, she has." "And so has her husband-to-be." "Do you think he provided her with a false alibi?" "I suppose he'll do all right out of it when he marries her." "But he's the son of a missionary." "Would he really do that?" "[Chuckles] Hang on." "[Telephone ringing]" "Hello, Joyce." "It's me." "Listen, remember we were talking about" "Lucinda Thacker's biography, and you said people were saying she used to hang out with a racy crowd." "Well, it's only what I heard." "Yeah." "Can you remember who she hung out with?" "Well, not really." "I think there might have been a mention of a... landscape gardener, was it?" "Landscape gardener." "JO YCE:" "Was that it?" "Yes." "Yes, it is." "Thank you, Joyce." "Bye." "Endlessly weeding those herbaceous bloody borders." "Could a woman have done it?" "Oh, yes." "MILES:" "Who is it?" "Who's the beneficiary?" "Oh. [Clears throat] It's me." "He left everything to me." "FAITH:" "He ran away as soon as he heard me clattering around upstairs." "MILES:" "Is there some kind of legal principle that bars people from profiting from their crimes?" "RICHARD:" "Miles rang Eileen." "He told her he thought he knew how Rex's will favoring Janet might be contested." "There's something I've got to check." "What is it, sir?" "There's someone I need to see." "You keep an eye on things here." "Mr. Barnaby." "I heard about Miles and Eileen." "Yes." "Yes." "It's terrible." "Janet is through there." "She's quite shaken up." "Uh, Mr. Thacker." "I wonder, could I ask you to stay here till I get back?" "I've got to pop out for a minute." "Yes, of course." "That's kind." "Thank you." " Lock that door." " Sir." "AMIE:" "Interesting to note that of all these positions, none of them is missionary." "You absolutely sure that is Lucinda Thacker?" "Absolutely." "And Miles King." "I'm not sure who the others are." "Here." "That's not your bottom, is it, Jack?" "No!" "Suddenly, everything is much clearer." "How do you mean, "clearer"?" "Lucinda never talked about what actually happened." "All she said was she'd drunk too much, and Rex took advantage of her." "We all assumed that he'd forced himself on her." "And she did nothing to deny it." "Oh, it's obviously Rex taking the pictures." "Oh, it's Stonecroft House." "That's the kitchen table." "I recognize the pepper grinder." "[Laughs]" "You can't say she was drunk and incapable, can you?" "Yeah." "You know they made up towards the end?" "She knew she was dying." "They met one day on the towpath... a bit accidentally on purpose from Lucinda's point of view, I think." "Amie." "She must have felt guilty about it all." "Anyway, we watched them, didn't we, Jack?" "We did, yeah." "AMIE:" "I think they buried the hatchet." "He never talked about it." "But I think that must have been one of the reasons why he tried to get in touch with his niece after Lucinda died." "And then that son of hers dragged it all up again with that book." " You... with me." " Sir." "D.C.I. BARNAB Y:" "Miss Janet Bailey," "I am arresting you for the murder of Rex Masters." "FAITH:" "Oh, no." "You do not have to say anything." "But it may harm your defense if you do not mention when questioned something which you later rely on in court." "Anything you do say may be given in evidence." " What are you talking about?" " Do you understand?" "I didn't kill Rex!" "She can't have done." "She was with me." "And I should be very careful what you say, too, sir, if I were you." "False alibi..." "We're talking about a possible conspiracy here, perverting the course of justice." "Because it was a lie, wasn't it, your alibi?" "Don't say anything." "We'll get a solicitor." " Wasn't it?" " Janet!" "I'm sorry." "But I didn't kill Rex." " Didn't you?" " I was scared." "When I realized that I was the only beneficiary of Rex's will," "I started worrying that I would be the main suspect." "Especially as I didn't have an alibi." "I was alone at home." "How could I prove that?" "But I did not kill Rex." "Hmm." "Yes, you thought Jeremy was doing you a favor, didn't you, giving you an alibi?" "It didn't occur to you that he was getting himself one at the same time, did it?" "I was at home with Jeremy." "That's right." "We had an evening in." "It was Jeremy who suggested that you needed an alibi, wasn't it?" "You're not accusing Jeremy of murdering Rex?" "You said that the person who broke into Rex's study that night was the murderer." "Jeremy was in London, so it couldn't have been him!" "Well, I was wrong." "The person who was trying to break into the study the night Rex died was indeed the murderer." "But I believe the person who broke in the night Faith was here, that was Miles King." "And he was trying to find the same thing that Jeremy was trying to find... a set of very interesting photographs." "See, Miles believed that Jeremy had killed Rex." "And he thought if he could prove that you had given him a false alibi, he could make that will... the one which had you as the chief beneficiary... null and void." "See, there's a convention in English law... not allowed to profit from your crimes." "Now, either he was doing that or he was trying to blackmail Jeremy with the photographs." "I'm not sure about his exact plans." "What were your exact plans, Mr. Thacker?" "What photographs?" "!" "You keep talking about photographs!" "Don't!" "No!" "You know what these photos are, don't you, Mr. Thacker?" "Well, of course you do." "Because Rex showed them to you, didn't he?" "And you were so appalled at their contents, so afraid of how they would destroy your mother's reputation, that you were quite prepared to murder to keep them away from the press, from the tabloids." "'Cause that's what Rex threatened to do, wasn't it?" "Unless you withdrew the biography from sale." "Janet." "See." "See that very naked lady there?" "That is the teenage Lucinda Thacker." "Jeremy's mother." "And the young man on top of her... enjoying her..." "that's Miles King." "He drugged her." "She would never have done such things." "You killed Rex?" "You killed him?" "He was vermin!" "Decadent, debauched vermin!" "Why could you never see that?" "He was nothing compared to Mother." "Of course I killed him." "God!" "He called it a "light orgy."" "You are pathetic!" "Mr. Thacker?" "Mr. Thacker?" "Mr. Thacker?" "What did Rex say about your mother?" "Oh, i-it was lies." "All lies." "All of it." "REX:" "My dear boy." "All I did was encourage your mother to enjoy her full sensual potential." "Shut up." "We'd..." "We'd had a wonderful, carefree evening and a small group of us ended up in bed together." " Stop it!" " Well, what's wrong with that?" "So naturally I took a few happy snaps for posterity." "When she woke up the next morning, she simply couldn't accept what she'd been capable of." "I suppose I'd released the animal within." "She couldn't bear the freedom." "So she spread some terrible lies about me." "But I'm not going to put up with this any longer." "I'm not prepared to be the pariah just to keep the hypocrites feeling happily self-righteous." "So you can take your dreary book off the shelves." " Oh..." " I want those negatives." "Are you trying to frighten me off?" "It won't stop the truth coming out." "Think of all the other people in the piccies?" "[Laughs]" "And Miles King." "He had to die as well because you couldn't risk him revealing the secret." "They were of no value to humanity." "They were nothing." "Eileen?" "MAN ON RADIO:" "...by phone, or by post." "In the old days, it was always on a postcard, please." "...whatever way you can manage." "Collateral damage?" "EILEEN:" "Miles?" "Aah!" "At least you didn't marry him." "I married Alan." "What are you gonna do?" "Victimhood is a state of mind." "I think a whole new future beckons." "What do you think?" "ALAN:" "Mr. Barnaby?" "Chief Inspector, is that you?" " Mr. Alexander." " Yes." "Your wife would like to see you." "Before she sets off." "The one thing I don't understand is how Uncle Rex was going to explain my turning up alive and well after everything he'd said." "[Laughs] I don't think he'd have been too bothered." "He'd have denied he'd ever said anything." "Or claimed it had been a huge misunderstanding." "And if anyone persisted, he'd have made them feel very small and boring." "Rex never believed that the truth should get in the way of a good story." "He wanted life to be entertaining and dramatic." "Even if it wasn't, he'd make it that way." "FAITH:" "Where's Mr. Barnaby?" "How's it been?" "Eventful." "This is my new friend, Janet." "Pleased to meet you." "Hello." "And you look great." "It obviously agrees with you over here." "Well, yes and no." "Here he is." "What's happened?" "Where are you going?" "We don't know yet." "I've decided to share the proceeds of the will with Faith." "The first thing that we're gonna do is go on a long holiday." "While we're away, I'll have my lawyers instigate divorce proceedings." "Your lawyer?" "I don't want to have anything to do with you ever again." "It's over." " Heathrow Airport, John." " Absolutely." "FAITH:" "We'll take it from there." "No problem." "Can we just talk about this?" "I think you're being impulsive, Faith." "You know you do that." "Come on, now." "Let's..." "Let's just think this through, huh?" "This worked out really well." "Because if I had inherited, you probably would've gotten half." "Now, while we're out meeting guys and generally living the high life," "I'll have the pleasure of knowing that you won't get a red cent." " Let's go, John." " Yes, ma'am." "Bye, Mr. Barnaby." "JANET:" "Bye!" "We'll be going now as well." "I think Miss Bailey and Mrs. Alexander are gonna have a pretty good time." "What, in a "loin-instigated" sort of a way?" "I hope so." "[Chuckles] It's certainly on the cards." "Subtitling made possible by Acorn Media"