"Come on!" "We're winning, dammit!" "They're the ones running out of time!" "Stay on top of him!" "THE LONGEST PENALTY IN THE WORLD" "We're here live at the Estrella Polar field for the last game of the regional soccer season, where the home team, our team," "Estrella Polar, can win the league against the favorite, the team many thought would win it all," "Deportivo Butarque." "But no, sir!" "With 10 minutes left in regulation the scoreboard reflects the season's big surprise." "Estrella Polar 1," "Deportivo Butarque... zero." "What a kick!" "That had to hurt." "That had to hurt." "That deserves at least a yellow card." "If this keeps up..." "Don't argue, Khaled!" "Keep your mouth shut." "...9 minutes Estrella Polar would be crowned league champion for the first time ever." "Deportivo Butarque only needs a tie, but too bad for them." "This is like" "David against Goliath." "Or maybe even..." "Sampson versus Delilah." "Bravo!" "Roman, Roman, Roman!" "See that grease ball staring at her?" "Be a little more discreet." "Relax, Fernando." "It's like life." "Some are starters, others benchwarmers." "Bullshit." "Fuck Roman, his hair gel and everything else!" "His hair gel..." "Get ready to go in." "Me?" "You!" "Try and play a little defense." "And don't screw around." "Get physical if you have to." "It'll be my pleasure." "Go on, warm up." "Diego." "Diego, wave at your dad." "Hi, Daddy!" "Diego..." "Did you really promise them a trip to the beach if they won?" "My brother-in-law has a hotel in La Manga." "To motivate them." "Here!" "How much for that goalie?" "Roman, the grease monkey." "He's not for sale." "I told you, we're a tight group." "Big teams will be after him." "I saw a scout from Carabanchel..." "Carabanchel can bite my ass." "Let me watch the game." "That goalie's the reason you made it this far." "Estrella is about team spirit." "You have money." "We have spirit." "Hold the line!" "What a save!" "How can you be with Roman?" "He's so tacky." "And conceited." "I'm not with anyone." "You don't know Roman." "He has plenty." "Plenty of what?" "Of everything." "Ana, do I always have to explain everything?" "He's obnoxious." "Always with that little smirk..." "He's nice if you get to know him." "Right." "Seriously, Roman's very sweet." "Oh, please." "And his motorcycle kicks ass." "So what?" "Is that a sin?" "I didn't say anything." "Fine." "Fine." "Things are getting rough out there." "The Deportivo players have opened a can of whoop-ass." "Rafa." "What?" "Is he okay?" "Are you sure?" "Yeah, look." "Get back out there." "Coach." "What?" "Since there's hardly any time left and we're winning..." "Yeah?" "Maybe I could play a few seconds." "What?" "It's my last game ever..." "You fucking idiot." "You want me to take Roman out to put you in?" "Just for a couple minutes." "Stay back, stay back!" "No cheating on defense!" "Look, you're Ana's brother and I like you." "That's why you're here, on the bench, as a back up." "But let's not beat around the bush." "You're a shitty goalie." "You quitting the sport is a favor to the rest of us." "Got it?" "Got it." "Good." "Ref, the time!" "Come on, ref!" "Two more minutes?" "What the fuck?" "Play hasn't stopped!" "Seeing is believing, folks!" "In a few seconds Estrella Polar will be league champion for the first time in its history!" "Watch out!" "Deportivo's driving up the sideline..." "Number 11 shakes his defender..." "Careful, careful!" "There he goes!" "And he commits a blatant foul on the goalie!" "Hold on a second!" "The ref again..." "What the fuck?" "Get out of here!" "Penalty!" "The ref's on the take!" "I'll kill him!" "He's a dead man!" "You shitty ref!" "Are you blind or what?" "The foul was on number 11, not the goalie!" "I'll kill him!" "Okay, okay." "Son of a bitch!" "You have no clue." "Okay, okay." "Have you no shame?" "Don't even look at me." "Son of a bitch!" "Son of a bitch!" "Come quick!" "Back up, back up!" "Give him some air." "Shit." "It's dislocated." "Shit." "Is it serious?" "He'll need two weeks." "What about right now?" "You want to kill the kid?" "His shoulder's dislocated." "He can't even move his arm." "Just a few more minutes." "Santos, it's just a game." "It's not worth it." "Let's go, gentlemen!" "We have a penalty kick here!" "Everyone off!" "You!" "Me?" "Everyone get back, please." "Come on, Fernando!" "I always believed in you!" "You can do it!" "Come on, Fernando!" "You're the best!" "What?" "Nothing." "We were robbed, we were robbed!" "Okay, okay." "Everyone out." "Unbelievable, folks!" "The ref gave them a penalty kick!" "The fans here are getting nervous." "They've had just about enough." "This is unacceptable." "We've been robbed, we've been robbed!" "Hold on, hold on." "Okay, let's go." "Referee." "Ready?" "Hey!" "Get out of here!" "Get some glasses, you criminal!" "Things are getting out of hand here." "We'd better get moving." "Covering a match is one thing, getting your head split open is another." "How's Abdullah?" "Fine." "You'd better take him." "ESTRELLA POLAR SUPERMARKET" "All this ham that I can't eat." "Are you still a Muslim?" "I thought you quit." "That's not why." "It's the cholesterol." "Enough chitchat." "Back to the ham." "Any news?" "Not yet." "Adrian isn't back yet." "Those committee bastards are unpredictable." "I was so looking forward to taking Abdullah to the Mango." "Hey, this isn't a bar." "Pay for those beers and drink them at home." "Relax, man." "Don't be like that." "I'm sipping it." "Khaled, the place is called La Manga." "Right." "I'll bill you for that." "Yeah, bill me for the air I breathe!" "Ever since that jerk got promoted he thinks he owns the place." "You provoke him." "Provoke him?" "I just like beer." "Can't a worker drink a beer now and then?" "Check that Workers' Human Rights thing." ""Workers have the right to a break and to decent conditions in the workplace." You're just fucking clueless." "Here, grab the ham." "Lift it." "I'm taking Diego to school." "Want a ride to the gas station?" "No, I start later today." "I'm gonna drop by the bar and see if there's news." "They still don't know?" "No." "Could you close the door?" "Daddy, which is better?" "Diesel or unleaded?" "They serve different purposes." "Like Casillas and Ronaldo." "Yeah." "He needs to go to the dentist." "Yeah, next month." "Could you close the door?" "You've been saying next month for two months now." "Then I must be right." "Whatever." "Will they cancel the trip to La Manga?" "I don't know." "Probably." "Can I take a crap with the door closed?" "We're leaving." "This isn't Buckingham Palace, you know." "Come on, Diego, sweetie." "Otherwise your dad can't concentrate." "The door!" "Hey, coach." "Any news?" "Not yet." "The media is saying" "Deportivo might win the league." "What media, Rafa?" "Give me a break." "You're a newsagent, not a CNN reporter." "I hear a lot out here." "Yeah, buses and garbage trucks driving by." "You don't hear shit." "Look, you meet a lot of people in this job." "Ever heard of" "the Sixth Estate?" "Kiss my ass." "Okay." "Just leave me alone, all right?" "Pay up." "Information costs money." "It's the Information Age." "Yeah, right." "Hello." "Still no news." "Adrian isn't here yet." "How about tapping that keg while we wait, ladies?" "I've had a rough morning." "Shit, Fernando." "Didn't you hear what he said?" "So what?" "Is prohibition in effect until Adrian gets here?" "Would you shut the fuck up?" "Okay, okay." "A bottle then?" "Never mind." "What's taking him so long?" "What?" "Are we champions or not?" "I knew it!" "Fuck!" "The committee gave the league to Deportivo." "No." "Well, then?" "Fernando." "Have you eaten?" "What?" "Have you eaten?" "No, no... no." "Which do you prefer for a starter?" "Cuttlefish or cockles?" "I'm lousy at quick decisions." "Order the cuttlefish, and the cockles as well, just to be metaphysically sure." "One order of cuttlefish, another of cockles." "Right." "One cuttlefish, one cockles!" "Any more starters?" "Yeah, some cured ham." "The expensive kind." "None of that girly stuff." "The expensive kind." "Right." "And lamb as a main dish?" "Lamb?" "Of course." "Lamb sounds delicious." "Sure, the lamb." "Yeah, fine." "Right." "Isn't this great?" "All these years on the team and working for me at the market, and we'd never had lunch together." "I was looking forward to this." "Me, too." "It sounds crazy, but I think free food tastes even better." "Careful." "Okay, the cuttlefish... and the cockles." "So you're going to be the goalie in Sunday's game?" "So the president says." "It's not a game." "The committee decided that time had expired." "That's right." "We should have won." "That's where you come in." "The rulebook says that when a penalty is called, even with no time left, it's valid." "So it's a penalty kick." "On Sunday, at our field." "Same goal, same players, same referee, and no fans." "A game without fans..." "It's not a game, it's a penalty kick." "And it could have been worse." "Like a forfeit for rushing the field." "That was amazing." "Or they could have taken away the penalty and made you guys league champions." "The ref whistled it." "They can't take it away." "I was there, Adrian." "That penalty was bullshit." "Wasn't it?" "Actually I'd dozed off just before that..." "Didn't we order ham?" "The expensive kind." "Yeah." "Look, Fernando." "This Sunday there's a lot at stake." "The championship, I know." "Much more than that." "Dignity, pride, money..." "And I mean a lot of money." "If we move up to 2nd division everything will change." "Maybe for you guys." "Sunday's my farewell to the sport." "It's a figure of speech." "You've always been like a son to me." "Wow, that's news to me." "But hey, thanks anyway." "Fernando, hear me out." "I want you to take it easy this week." "Stay relaxed, listen to Santos, and block that penalty kick." "Sure, I'll do my best." "You could get a bonus if you do." "No, no, no." "This isn't about money." "It's about pride and dignity and all that." "I expected nothing less of you." "I mean, as an employee, I'm doing just fine." "But as a son, like you said before, a little help might come in handy." "2 or 3 grand to plug a couple leaks." "Up front would be even better." "Sure." "Wipe your mouth." "Quickly, quickly!" "Take your positions!" "Fernando?" "Is that you?" "Where were you?" "What a meal!" "I am stuffed." "We started lunch at three and we only just finished." "You don't look good." "You should see my colon." "It must be a fucking mess." "I think I ate three and a half kilos" "of suckling pig." "You mean lamb." "Lamb, whatever." "Actually I didn't even look." "Check it out." "They gave me coupons for lunchtime." "When they heard about the penalty kick they wouldn't leave me alone." "The coupons cover coffee, dessert and a drink." "Is that the best way to prepare for Sunday's game?" "It's not a game, it's a penalty kick." "Whatever." "Everyone's counting on you." "Maybe you could make an effort." "I am making an effort." "When they brought the second kilo of lamb, I almost quit." "But I thought, hey." "Make an effort for your president." "I'm going to bed." "I'm tired." "Hey, Ana." "What?" "Did you see Cecilia today?" "Sure, I see her every day." "Did she say anything?" "About what?" "What do you think?" "About me." "No." "Yes." "Yes?" "Yeah, she said..." ""The whole championship depends on that schmuck."" "Anything else?" "No, that's it, Fernando." "Good night." "Good night." "Great, the remote is acting up again." "Now, with our incredible specials," "Paris is closer than ever." "Don't miss your chance." "The Champs Elysees, the Eiffel Tour, the Moulin Rouge, and of course, the Seine, the river that inspired so many poets." "Paris, the city of love..." "Ana!" "Ana, it's that boyfriend of yours again!" "I'm coming." "Every night it's the same." "Tell him he can't just show up at any hour." "This isn't a hotel." "Or nursery." "You know what time it is?" "It's late." "Always running around with that kid." "Khaled, this can't go on." "Go on how?" "Like this." "You know what I mean." "Sometimes I think" "you pretend not to understand." "What?" "You don't respect our relationship." "Our relationship sacred for Khaled." "Just arrive late." "No problem." "Abdullah and me leave now if you want." "Come inside." "Come on." "Stop that..." "Want to eat something?" "Eat you." "I'm really sick of this, Khaled." "What you mean?" "This isn't a normal relationship." "Normal couples do other stuff." "We no fuck enough?" "We fuck too much." "What I mean is, normal couples travel together, give each other gifts, and especially, make plans together." "Right." "I make mental note." "You no worry." "You'll be happy." "Khaled take care of it." "Hey, Fer." "How's it going?" "All that beer keeps me pissing all night." "Yeah." "Hey, you got any of those happy cigarettes?" "Yeah, sure." "Here." "But last one for today." "Go on." "Got a light?" "Shit." "The baby looks nervous." "Let's get him stoned." "Don't be ridiculous." "Here's one for you." "The European says to the Arab," ""How are things back home?"" "The Arab says, "We can't complain."" "So the European says, "You mean average."" "And the Arab says, "No, I mean we can't complain."" "Shit." "Where's your sense of humor?" ""We can't complain." Get it?" "Yeah, I get it." "Here, hold the baby." "Sure, like I'm the nanny." "You're a fucking comedian." "What was that about?" "Nothing." "Your brother's bad joke of the day." "Sure you don't want some ham with your omelette?" "No, I don't eat pork." "You know that." "I've told you a thousand times." "Cholesterol." "Okay, okay." "Roman, Roman!" "Roman, Roman!" "Fernando." "Fernando." "Pick up the phone." "Answer the phone!" "Shit, what's going on?" "It's for you." "Take the phone." "Did you make coffee?" "Yeah." "And toast with jam for the little prince." "Damn, you're funny in the morning." "Fernando here." "You ready, Fernando?" "Santos?" "Is that you?" "We have to prepare for Sunday." "It's 8 AM, Santos." "And I have to go to work." "Adrian said it was okay." "Meet me at the field in an hour." "Don't be late." "Your new life begins today." "In this life am I still a shitty goalie, or am I a good player now?" "Don't hold that against me, Fernando." "Sometimes a coach has to say things... unpleasant things, to motivate his players." "You understand." "Yeah, I understand, Santos." "Of course I do." "You may not realize, but to block a penalty kick" "I don't need to run." "I just stand in the goal." "You may not realize, but clearing the body clears the mind." "Yeah, that's great, but I've spent the last 30 years eating, drinking, smoking and filling my body with crap." "So a few days now won't change anything." "Leave it to me." "Santos..." "Yeah?" "Hey." "What is it?" "Can I ask you a question?" "Sure." "You've known Cecilia for awhile." "I mean, shit." "She's your daughter." "And?" "Well..." "Are she and Roman officially going out?" "I don't know about officially." "They see each other." "Oh, right." "Because I was thinking of inviting her out." "With your approval, of course." "Cecilia?" "Yeah, just the two of us." "You understand." "Yeah, I understand." "Is that okay with you?" "We're not in the Middle Ages." "Go ahead and ask her out if you want to." "It would mean a lot to me." "I've always really liked her." "And now with all this penalty stuff, it'd be an extra motivation." "If Cecilia went out with me..." "Oh, Santos." "Come on, in rhythm." "Come on, Fernando." "Let's go, in rhythm." "I can't go on." "You're almost there." "20, 40, 60." "I'm 40 cents short." "That's okay." "Need help with the bags?" "I can manage." "You sure?" "I'm sure." "Bye, Adrian." "See you later." "Say hi to Bilbao... for me when you see him." "What's up?" "Quiet, she'll hear you." "Who?" "Julia, of course!" "Here." "She was 40 cents short." "Thanks, Adrian." "Put in on my tab." "I'll pay you back as soon as I can." "You should tell her." "You can't go on like this forever." "I'm waiting for the right moment." "You know I trust you." "But what if she shops somewhere else?" "Or looks for you at work." "I'm waiting for the right moment!" "I got fired, dammit!" "Relax, Bilbao." "Hold on, give her time to leave." "Fernando, take this to the frozen food section." "Are you crazy?" "Is it the wrong order?" "Order?" "What the hell are you doing?" "Taking that in back." "What if you hurt yourself?" "." "You might break your collarbone... or another athlete injury." "I don't..." "Shut the fuck up." "Here." "But I'm the manager." "What about my shoulder?" "Give me a break." "Take that in back." "Where is your head?" "Where is your head?" "Go on, you heard him." "Look, Fernando." "Take it easy this week." "No lifting." "Just concentrate on the penalty kick." "If you don't feel like coming to work, just stay home." "To concentrate." "That's right." "On the penalty kick." "The penalty kick." "What is this, the beach?" "Ana, the neighbors will see you." "So what?" "I'm not naked." "If you weren't my sister, I'd fuck your brains out." "That's disgusting." "I'd be more fun than that Arab." "Leave Khaled alone." "I've got nothing against him." "He just isn't right for you." "He's sweet." "You don't know him well enough." "He may be sweet, but you deserve better." "Better?" "Yeah, you know." "He's a stock boy." "You can't marry a stock boy." "You're a stock boy, too!" "No, I'm a stock replenisher." "I'm nothing special either." "He's an illegal alien" "and he's..." "What?" "A professional stoner." "He's always smoking joints." "It's different when I do it." "How so?" "An occasional joint is one thing, as a hobby... but he's a professional stoner." "Look who's talking." "What I do is my business." "I'm your brother, not your boyfriend or husband." "I don't sleep with you." "Though I would, you know." "Fernando, take a stroll or something." "He's separated, not divorced." "And he's always dumping his kid on you." "Not always." "Sometimes." "More than sometimes." "More than more than sometimes." "I don't mind looking after Abdullah." "And he's fine with his visa." "I won't explain myself to you or argue with you." "Spare me" "the big brother routine." "Do as you please." "I'm only trying to help." "Because you're my sister and I want you to be happy, and..." "What?" "And you're a babe." "You know what?" "Fuck you." "Great, that fixes things." "That's right." ""Fuck you." Wonderful." "That's right." "Hey." "I could use a little sun." "So I was filling the tank of a Mercedes 600 and I saw the driver, a fat Japanese guy, and bald..." "Fat like you?" "I'm not fat." "I'm big-boned, it's different." "Anyway," "I'm filling up his tank and I see him talking on his cell phone." "So if Fernando blocks the penalty kick you win the league?" "If he blocks it." "Penalty kicks are a lottery." "You never know." "Like the dentist." "You never know." "Don't start." "Look, here." "For tomorrow." "What's wrong with you lately?" "You're always so quiet." "What's wrong with you?" "Nothing's wrong with me." "Daddy, finish the story!" "Well, you can't use a cell phone at a gas station." "It's dangerous." "Did you know that?" "So I grabbed his phone and said, "Turn this thing off or we'll get blown up and you'll never call Tokyo again!"" "Did he listen?" "Of course he did." "Is dinner happening or what?" "Dinner?" "There you go." "There's the bread." "Diego, bedtime." "I'm glad you didn't get blown up." "So am I." "Off to bed." "No way." "No, no and no." "Give me a good reason." "Just look at him." "Don't be superficial." "He stinks." "You only see him after games." "I don't like him." "I'm not asking you to marry him." "Just have a drink with him." "Dad, I have a very jealous boyfriend." "Nonsense." "Roman doesn't need" "to know." "I don't have time." "Consider it a service to the team to keep morale high until Sunday." "Like a performer entertaining troops at wartime." "Cecilia, I'm your father." "You will meet Fernando tonight for a drink." "Listen, Fernando." "Make eye contact." "They like that." "It makes them feel safe." "Eye contact." "Right." "And be sensitive." "Sensitivity is in style, you know." "Sensitive." "I said sensitive, not gay." "Right." "Sensitive but macho." "That's right." "And no matter what, no soccer." "Girls think that's all we talk about, so surprise her with another topic." "I will." "I'll blow her away." "Good." "What topic?" "Something that interests you." "Not soccer." "You're driving me nuts." "Okay, relax." "Something easy." "Movies." "Movies aren't my thing." "Literature." "Are you kidding?" "Okay, cooking." "Cooking?" "Yeah, like I said before." "Be a sensitive guy who cooks." "All that gourmet stuff gets you laid." "I can hardly fry an egg." "Man, you can fake it." "Read this and this and she'll be in the bag before you even start the main dish." "I don't know..." "Fernando, believe me." "The magazines are on the house." "Can I take this one too?" "Scram." "I was just asking." "I didn't want to go out with you." "I know." "It's for my dad." "I know." "I have to get up early." "You have till midnight." "Sure, baby." "Okay, where to?" "I made dinner at home." "I really like cooking." "It relaxes me and helps me get things off my chest." "What things?" "You know, stuff." "Explore my sensitive side." "But if you'd" "rather not..." "I don't care." "At least that way I won't be seen with you." "Hey, slow down." "Cecilia..." "Just a second." "Here we go." "Okay, you can open your eyes." "Very nice." "It looks elaborate, but it's really easy." "It's, well... no big deal." "It's a... ragout calamari flambé." "Where's the calamari?" "Underneath." "Underneath what?" "Underneath... the ragout." "I don't understand." "Modern cuisine is better that way." "Let yourself be guided by the senses, by the taste..." "Someone's here." "It's probably Khaled, my sister's boyfriend." "It's Roman." "Roman?" "Did you tell him about this?" "Of course not!" "He thinks I'm at home." "Fernando, open the door!" "I know you're in there!" "What now?" "Relax." "Hold on, I'll be right out!" "I'm in the shower!" "He'll kill me." "And me!" "Both of us." "Shit." "Hide." "Where?" "In the bedroom." "No, they always look there." "Open up already!" "Fernando, I have to talk to you!" ""Talk," he says." "He wants to kill me." "I'm coming, Roman!" "I'm drying off!" "Where should I hide?" "A perfect place." "Get in." "Are you fucking stupid?" "It's not a normal fridge." "It has defrost." "It's brand new." "I'll freeze to death." "Don't be ridiculous." "It's just a second while I get rid of him." "Open up or I'll kick the door in!" "I'll be right there!" "Get in or your boyfriend will kill us." "And hold these for me." "I hate warm beer." "I'll be right back." "I'll be right there, Roman!" "What the fuck were you doing?" "I told you, I was in the shower." "I like showering late." "This can't be." "This can't be." "How'd you find out?" "Quit fucking with me!" "You look nervous." "Of course I'm nervous!" "You've taken something from me." "Believe me, nothing happened." "But it will." "You think so?" "Shit." "I've got it!" "You've got it?" "This will solve everything." "Not with my trophy!" "Violence solves nothing." "I'll break your hand and replace you." "Skip the hand and just replace me." "The committee won't let me." "The committee?" "Yeah." "No substitutions." "It has to be you." "Oh, you mean the penalty kick!" "Then why break my hand?" "Because if your hand's broken and you can't play, I can step in and save the day." "Right or left" "hand?" "A shitty decision to have to make!" "Be a man." "You have no chance of blocking it." "But your shoulder..." "Let's get this over with!" "Wait!" "First of all, my hands matter a lot to me." "Secondly, you can't go back in because you were replaced earlier in the game." "If I got hurt someone else would have to step in." "Dude!" "Shit." "They won't let me." "That's right." "Someone coming to dinner?" "No, why?" "There's two place settings." "I always set places for two people." "What for?" "To ward off the loneliness." "And you eat both meals?" "Sometimes." "Why, are you hungry?" "No, I already had dinner." "Right, so breaking my hand is out." "We need another idea." "Got any beer?" "No!" "The fridge is right here." "I have no beer." "Downstairs, in the bar." "I'll buy a round." "What about your dinner?" "I'll have dinner later." "Calamari ragout is even better cold." "I thought those were sausages." "Come on, let's get that drink." "All right." "And you're right about the game." "Once a player's been replaced, he can't play again." "That's right, use your head." "Come on, let's go." "Son of a..." "You said it." "Hey." "What?" "Wait right here, I've got to activate the alarm." "Alarm?" "I just had it installed." "I always forget to activate it." "You just stay right there, or it'll go off." "Are you okay?" "Bastard." "Roman's out there waiting for me." "Help yourself to the ragout." "I'll grab a bite." "Stick your ragout up your ass." "We'll have to continue this dinner some other time." "I have to go." "Hey, instead of going to Santos's bar" "Let's hit that strip club where you always hang out." "You make me sound like a regular." "Hey, admit it." "You're in there at least a couple times a week." "Let's go." "You like nasty girls." "Come on." "Let me close the door." "I can manage it myself." "I'm holding the baby." "You pretty much always are." "What do you mean?" "The kid has a mother, you know." "He's always with you." "She says I'm a good father." "Sure." "But she never sees him." "She must miss her kid, right?" "I don't understand." "Don't worry." "It's none of my business." "I'm just recreation, right?" "You're important to me." "Yeah, important." "Like the Pope." "I really like you, Ana." "You like me." "What does that mean?" "That you like hanging out?" "I don't know." "What, you mean wedding?" "No, I didn't mean wedding, or living together or any of that." "It's only been a year, right?" "True." "That's right." "We have fun." "We're never bored." "That's that." "That's that?" "It means end of story." "Shall we go?" "Yeah." "Do you want to go for a stroll first or straight home to fuck as usual?" "Home is nice." "Fine." "The baby sleeps, we fuck." "Yes." "Do you trust me or not?" "Of course I do..." "Then listen to me." "You guys are losing me." "You're all talking backwards." "It's public knowledge, man." "Everyone knows this guy... the Deportivo team captain..." "he always shoots to the right." "To the right..." "his right or mine?" "To the right side of the goal." "Oh, right." "You mean to my left." "You guys are stupid." "That's exactly why he'll shoot to the left this time." "No way." "Listen to this." "He know that we know he always shoot right." "So we expect him to shoot left, which is why he'll shoot right." "Yeah, but he knows that we know that he knows what we expect him to do." "So watch out." "So what the fuck?" "Which way?" "Man, you lost me." "You see?" "He'll obviously shoot right." "Unless he realizes we're onto him, and shoots left." "No shit, Sherlock!" "He'll shoot left, trust me." "But which left?" "Left." "But which left?" "Left, dammit!" "Roll a joint." "A joint." "Come here, kid." "Don't dive until the last moment." "Don't dive." "Don't move an inch." "Your cold blood has to make him nervous." "Nervous." "You don't want him to know which way you'll dive." "You have to fool him." "Fool him." "That's right." "Good." "Concentrate, look him in the eye and stay still till the last moment." "Stay still." "Good." "Okay, let's begin." "Khaled!" "Let's see what you've got, Fernando." "What happened?" "You didn't even try to block it!" "I can't do everything." "Make him nervous, stay still, block the kick..." "And you said not to move." "Not until he shoots, but after that you dive." "What if he shoots straight?" "Then you're screwed." "But at least try to block it." "Don't just stand there like an idiot." "Hey, Santos." "What?" "Can I have a word?" "What is it?" "Come over here." "What?" "This really means a lot to me." "What does?" "You know, Cecilia." "Your daughter." "What about her?" "Well, last night was a mess and we got interrupted so for me it's really hard to concentrate on a penalty kick." "Can I shoot?" "Hold on, dammit!" "I need your help." "What can I do?" "I don't know, something." "You're the coach, and her dad." "Think of something." "Okay, okay." "Let's stay calm." "You block whatever you can and I'll fix things with Cecilia." "I'm nothing without motivation." "Okay, I'll take care of it." "You sure?" "I'm sure, dammit." "Shoot high, low, the corners..." "I want you to mix it up." "Damn!" "I killed my ribs." "Now that's a dive." "Yeah, great." "Next." "Hell of a shot!" "That lousy Arab sure can shoot!" "Fernando, can you hear me?" "Loud and clear." "I'm shooting left." "You got it?" "To the left." "Your left or mine?" "That left, all right?" "Just block it," "okay?" "No problem." "What the fuck are you doing?" "Trying to fool you." "You thought I'd dive left so I dove right instead." "You're not supposed to fool me." "I just want you to block one to see what it feels like!" "Why didn't you say so?" "I did say so!" "I told you which way I'd shoot!" "How could I know?" "You could have been trying to fool me." "Why the hell would I want to fool you?" "Don't you see?" "I want you to block it!" "I just want you to block a penalty kick so you feel more confident on Sunday." "Do you understand that or not?" "Shit, Santos." "I ain't stupid." "See you later, stud." "Hi, sis." "What brings you here?" "I just came to clean out the food stand since the season's over and all that." "Having a chat?" "Yeah, your sister and I are starting a lonely hearts club." "What?" "Your sister and I are the founders." "Two lonely hearts." "You don't say." "People in relationships are not allowed." "What if it's not really a relationship?" "Like a fling?" "No way." "We're romantics, right?" "I'd better take the boxes to the bar." "I'll go with you." "Right, we're off." "I guess you won't mind us leaving you alone, being a lonely heart and all." "Sure." "I have to wait for Adrian." "Great, man." "Bye, Santos." "See you later, partner." "What was that?" "No idea." "No idea?" "I don't know." "What crap is this?" "Shut up." "Leave me alone." "What?" "Leave me alone!" "Did you dump Khaled?" "No." "Well then?" "What?" "What's with the lonely heart crap?" "Santos made it up." "And you played along." "There's a word for that." "Drop it." "If poor Khaled knew about this..." "He tries so hard." "Yesterday you said he was wrong for me." "And you convinced me otherwise." "Good!" "Run a red light and kill us!" "It wasn't red!" "It was bright red!" "It was not!" "Stop arguing with me!" "Are you with Khaled or not?" "There's no commitment." "We hang out." "After a year?" "He never says anything." "Because he's shy." "Ana, I can't believe you're flirting with Santos." "Neither can I." "Fine." "Good." "Fine!" "Look, it's the referee." "Red card, referee!" "What?" "Give that car a red card for parking badly!" "Bite me, you smart-ass!" "Up yours, motherfucker!" "Those referees are like little kids." "Yeah, well you sure laughed at anything the old man said." "How's Fernando doing?" "What can I tell you?" "The truth, dammit." "Can he block it or not?" "He's awful, Adrian." "Tell me something I didn't know." "He's totally clueless." "With Fernando as goalie our only chance" "is if the shooter misses." "He won't miss." "So what can I do?" "Shit, you're the coach." "We can..." "What?" "Run him over." "Deportivo's captain?" "No, Fernando." "Fernando?" "An accident, so we can replace him with someone else." "Anyone else." "Don't be absurd, Santos." "He's inept, and stupid, and he'll lose us the league." "But we can't kill him." "Or can we?" "No." "No." "No, no, no." "We'll keep sucking up to him." "At least let him try." "He's obnoxious." "Tell me about it." "Afternoon." "How much are those cleats in the window?" "Bless you." "No." "We didn't say anything." "But you thought it." "Look, sweetheart." "On Sunday I could become the first coach to reach 2nd division without pro players." "If we win Adrian will triple the budget and I can pay real players." "It's a unique opportunity for your dad," "Cecilia." "So what?" "Even if I have dinner with him, he'll never block it." "He'll be more relaxed." "Otherwise he might get upset and let the other guy score." "Ceci, do it for your dad." "No." "I'll give you 100 euros for a new dress." "150 euros for your trouble." "He put me in a fridge. 300." "But his intentions were good." "200." "This is the last time I date him." "I hope so." "Who said I'd triple your budget?" "Well..." "Whose future do I talk about, mine or hers?" "Your future together." "They love that." "Maybe after a year together." "Not the first night." "You see?" "You see?" "That's where you're wrong." "What chicks want, from the very start, is to see you're interested in the long term." "You guys are confusing me." "Ortega gets them drunk." "Ortega gets the girls at school drunk." "What are you saying, son?" "Give me that." "Ortega's in 6th grade and he says to get girls drunk." "How cute." "He doesn't know what he's saying." "Hold on." "Who's this Ortega?" "A 6th grader." "He says the more you like her, the drunker you get her." "Why's that?" "Because if you like her you'll be nervous, so you need an icebreaker." "That makes sense." "You can't listen to an 8-year-old." "I'm nine!" "Nine, he's nine." "That's my boy." "Diego, come here." "Did you see that?" "Did you?" "No." "You want a sip?" "No, thanks." "It's Portuguese." "Very tasty." "You seem congested." "Yeah, it happens whenever someone puts me in a refrigerator." "I love that about you." "You take everything with a sense of humor." "And that you're a babe, of course." "So where to tonight?" "Besides drinking in the street." "I reserved a table in a fancy restaurant." "Sure you don't want any?" "For your cold." "Later." "Where does Roman think you are?" "Having dinner with my dad." "He believed that?" "Sure, it's not so weird." "People will believe anything." "With your dad!" "He fell for that one?" "Come on, baby." "Take a little swig." "Well, what do you think?" "I come here all the time." "I bet they even have toilet paper in the bathroom." "People are looking at us." "We make such a great couple." "That's the waiter." "Hey, you're right!" "I hadn't recognized you." "What's up?" "You're in excellent company tonight, Fernando." "Yeah." "Is our wine list not to your liking?" "You mean this?" "I'm finished with it." "Lamb again tonight?" "No, lamb at night is too heavy." "Something lighter." "Two lunchtime menus." "I've got plenty of coupons." "How about it, Ceci?" "This place has a great lunch menu." "Whatever." "Those are only valid at lunchtime." "Okay, whatever." "I'll pay extra." "Two lunch specials." "And bring us a couple beers to drink." "Better yet, two pitchers." "And champagne." "Tonight's a special night." "Beer and champagne with dinner?" "Bring me some water." "Oh, come on." "Not water." "A bottle of champagne and another one on ice." "And make it a good one." "Cordoniu or Rondel." "None of that sissy French stuff." "All right." "Two lunch specials and champagne!" "Don't forget the beers!" "You must be thirsty." "You said it." "A little wine?" "Fine, more for me." "Hey, look who's here." "Wow, look." "Great." "My dad and your sister." "Ask them to join us." "No, they probably want to be alone." "Like us, right?" "If you say so." "Here." "A little intimacy, huh?" "What lousy luck." "Of all the restaurants in the world, my brother comes to the same place." "There aren't so many places around." "If you want we can go somewhere else." "No, it's okay." "As long as we don't have to eat with him." "Don't you worry about that." "I don't feel too good." "Quit drinking for a second." "This is all wrong." "You're the one who's supposed to be drinking." "What do you mean?" "You should be drinking..." "and eating... whatever you want." "Because you're the guest, you understand." "Yeah, I understand." "Come on, let's toast." "To us." "Tonight's our night, I can feel it." "To us." "Or how about to you and to me, separately." "Whatever you say." "What's the occasion?" "How cozy." "Drinking champagne together." "Roman, how nice to see you." "Dinner with your dad?" "Yeah." "She's having dinner with her dad." "You think I'm fucking stupid?" "I'm actually here, but I'm not really here." "Where are you?" "Where am I?" "Over there." "That's Santos." "Exactly." "Having dinner with Cecilia." "But Santos is over there, and you're sitting here." "No way." "I'm having dinner with my sister." "What?" "Santos went over to my table for a moment." "That's my table over there." "And I came over to say hi to Cecilia." "And the champagne?" "What's that all about?" "It's not mine." "It's not his." "Whose is it?" "Tell him, Fernando." "Whose champagne is it?" "Shit, Roman." "Whose do you think?" "Whose?" "The champagne is for Santos." "He ordered it." "I told you," "this is his table." "Why did he order champagne?" "Because today's his birthday." "That's right." "That explains everything." "His birthday was at Christmas." "Yeah, but..." "It's not that birthday, today is his other birthday." "Two birthdays?" "Yeah." "Sure." "Yeah." "But the birthday we're celebrating today isn't his birthday birthday." "It's his... soccer coach birthday." "As a coach." "He's been coaching for 20 years." "And you're with your sister." "Yeah, we're very close." "Sometimes we go out for dinner together." "Come here, you rascal." "Hey." "He's been over there for awhile." "Come on over." "Yeah." "Come over." "What's going on?" "Roman's there." "That must be a mess." "Come on." "Hey, Roman." "What's up, kids?" "Dad, you took awhile." "Yeah, I did, didn't I?" "You sure did." "Now everyone can go back to their table and we're all set." "Come back here." "Are you having dinner with Cecilia?" "Sure, of course I am." "Congratulations, Santos." "Thanks." "You kept it so quiet. 20 years." "Yeah, 20 years." "How time flies." "Waiter, bring some glasses." "I can't drink any more." "Let's have a toast." "It's a special occasion." "If you say so." "Yeah, a toast." "Here." "And there you are." "Say something, coach." "No, I..." "Please, I insist." "Today's your day." "Come on, coach." "Don't make us beg." "Okay." "To this special occasion, this historic occasion..." "I'm speechless." "Cheers!" "Cheers!" "20 years." "That doesn't happen every day." "No more!" "Are you okay?" "Damn kid." ""Get her drunk." He made it sound easy." "Get who drunk?" "Cecilia." "What for?" "To level the playing field." "Since I like her" "so much." "And who gave you that advice?" "A nine-year-old boy." "Did the nine-year-old tell you to get shit-faced or did you think that one up yourself?" "." "No, that was the law of inertia." "When a body in its normal state starts drinking it can't stop until it gets hammered." "Just look at me." "Go on, sleep it off." "The problem is, Roman interrupted us before I got a chance to deepen my relationship with Cecilia." "Relationship?" "Hey, you don't know everything." "At least you got out of dinner with that jerk Santos." "I happen to like Santos." "Right." "Like a father." "Not exactly." "Well, Santos and I had plenty of time to "deepen" our relationship." "What do you mean?" "We had a nice conversation." "Oh, right." "He asked me to marry him." "What?" "That jerk Santos asked you to marry him?" "Don't laugh." "Don't laugh." "I'm not." "Man, he's sure in a hurry!" "Damn." "Fernando." "Fernando." "Son of a bitch." "Ana." "Ana." "Is it time to get up already?" "No, I have a question I need to ask you." "It's three in the morning." "Ana." "What do you like about a man?" "Why do you like Khaled, or Santos, or whoever." "I don't know." "Seriously, think about it." "Do you like sensitive men?" "I guess." "Men who talk about the future?" "I don't know." "I like a guy if he's nice." "Could you be more specific?" "You either like a guy or you don't." "Nonsense." "There must be something." "You could help me out a little." "For you it's easy." "You have your pick." "But I've been alone for a long time, Ana." "Tell me the truth." "I don't know, Fernando." "I already told you." "Then what can I do about Cecilia?" "I haven't got a chance with her." "You're such a pain in the ass." "I don't know." "You know what you should do?" "No, that's exactly what I'm asking you." "Make her laugh." "Just make her laugh." "Make her laugh?" "Yeah, show her a good time." "Good night." "One more thing." "You didn't say yes, did you?" "To who?" "To Santos!" "You told him you won't marry him." "I said yes." "You're not serious." "I'm fed up." "I'm sick of Khaled." "I need to relax." "So I'm going to marry Santos." "If you want to relax, have some tea." "You can't marry Santos." "Yes, I can." "Finally a normal guy, with a house, a car, a business..." "I'll marry him if I damn please." "Does he make you laugh?" "Leave me alone." "I want to sleep!" "How much did those new shoes cost?" "There not shoes, they're soccer cleats." "How much?" "I don't remember." "They weren't cheap." "Carbon fiber, like Indurain's bicycle." "How nice." "Besides, if I buy cheap ones" "I'll end up needing three pairs." "It's cheaper this way." "Oh, right." "You're actually doing it to save money." "I'll get out here, to save you the turn." "Good morning." "Please, just play along." "What are you doing here?" "Just for a moment." "And in uniform." "I said to return it." "Bilbao, what's your problem?" "I'm leaving." "I'm sorry." "I'll return the uniform tomorrow." "Clean." "Goodbye." "Are you okay?" "What are those?" "Look, Fernando." "The penalty kick's tomorrow." "Yeah, but what are you talking about?" "This may sound weird, but just listen to what the president says." "The statistics demonstrate that the majority of players in the world do not shoot low." "They don't shoot at the middle of the net, either." "They always shoot either left or right." "Incredibly, the statistics demonstrate that players almost never shoot high near the post." "And finally, the statistics demonstrate that players never shoot too close to the post." "Why is that, Fernando?" "Why do players avoid the posts?" "Because they're afraid they'll miss outside." "Careful with that cigarette." "So if we listen to the statistics, it's likely on Sunday that the ball will pass through one of those two holes we've left uncovered." "You follow?" "Sure I do." "Which means you have to imagine the goal is covered with imaginary boards and all you have to do is defend those two holes, nothing more." "Put that way, it doesn't seem so hard at all." "They published it!" "They published it!" "What are you talking about?" "What?" "The Marca published my article!" "No shit." "About what?" "About the penalty kick on Sunday." "Does it mention me?" "On the front page?" "Front page?" "Don't be ridiculous." "You're obviously not from around here." "On page 34." "Page 34, gentlemen." "The regional soccer page." "Everyone knows it's the most-read page." ""The longest penalty in the world."" "It's a bit short, isn't it?" "A whole column, on the right side." "Does it say our chances?" "He wrote it, dummy." "Listen up." ""Estrella Polar's substitute goalie, Fernando Diaz... will be faced on Sunday with the chance" "of a lifetime."" "You overdo it." "My first article in the Marca!" "Fernando." "It's not the New York Times." "Let's go celebrate." "I'll pick up Abdullah and meet you in bar." "Yeah, let's drink some beers to celebrate." "That's right, to the bar." "Everyone to the bar!" "Unbelievable." "Spoiled brats." "Give me another." "Tomorrow's the kick." "You should rest." "I am resting." "Mentally, can't you see?" "One more round and we'll go." "Yeah, right." "Anyone in the bar can see your bra." "Stop already." "Khaled, give me a joint to relax." "I don't have any." "I quit." "I'm saving money." "Since when?" "What for?" "Personal reasons." "I'm saving up, okay?" "You'll never save up enough for even a moped." "Look at Beckham." "Now that's saving." "10 million euros a year." "The rest is bullshit." "Shit!" "God dammit." "And he doesn't even pay for his own beers." "That lucky motherfucker." "What would you do with all that money?" "Me?" "With 10 million euros?" "I'd start my own sports journal." ""The Estrella."" "I've got it all planned." "A real sports journal, modeled after the American tradition of sports journalism." "You follow?" "With naked girls on the last page, like in the old days." "With 10 million euros" "I'd rent 100 boats and bring all compatriots I could to Spain." "The government wouldn't let you do that." "Yes, it would." "I'd give them all job contracts, that way they have papers." "And if government no like, fuck them." "Yeah, that'll show 'em." "You know what I would do?" "What I would really do?" "I'd fuck Terelu." "Terelu?" "The TV host?" "What a schmuck!" "She makes me really horny." "Always talking about celebrities and all that crap." "I'd ride her all night long." "I don't think she'd sleep with you even if you had" "10 million euros." "Like in that Demi Moore movie." "Where she's married and she gets rented out for the night for a million dollars?" "And that was Demi Moore." "Terelu Campos..." "I'd stick the whole 10 million in a bank and not do shit for the rest of my life." "You already do that without the money." "How about that?" "God!" "What would you do, Fer?" "I don't know." "I'm thinking about it." "Go on, we all gave answers." "I'm not sure." "Put it in the bank." "Trust me." "I might take a trip." "What do you mean by trip?" "Somewhere far away from here." "Paris, for example." "Paris?" "Paris?" "Paris is nearby." "Go to Hawaii, or the Caribbean." "I want to see Paris." "Paris is full of tourists." "And French people." "With 10 million euros you can do fucking laps around the world." "In your own jet." "What's fucking wrong with Paris?" "I'm leaving." "It's late." "Stick around for the last round." "No, I'm tired." "Fernando..." "What's wrong with him?" "Maybe he's nervous about tomorrow." "Or in love." "The dumbshit's probably in love." "That would explain all that Paris crap." "God dammit, that's afoul!" "Fucking hooligans." "See you tomorrow." "Good night." "I'm leaving." "Me, too." "No, I mean I'm quitting the bar." "What?" "You mean forever?" "Yes." "Santos asked me to marry him, and I said yes." "I didn't know." "Of course you didn't." "How could you?" "You're leaving?" "Santos wants me to quit the bar." "I'm going to marry him." "We have plans." "Plans, right." "And?" "Can I ask you something?" "What?" "What do you want to ask me?" "Don't marry Santos." "Why not?" "I don't know." "Because I like you." "Great." "You like me." "We've been together for a year and that's all you can say?" "We're not teenagers any more." "I like you a lot." "Wow, thanks." "But that's not the point." "I like you, too, obviously." "Then what's the point?" "I can't spell it out for you." "Are you coming or not?" "No." "Sorry, I lost track of time." "Where's Diego?" "In bed asleep." "We went for a drink after work." "How was your day at work?" "I've had better." "Your boss came over earlier." "What did he want?" "You got fired two months ago." "How could you lie to me like that?" "When were you going to tell me?" "Bad timing..." "When they repossessed our car?" "Or when they evict us?" "You see?" "That's what I mean." "You're hard to talk to." "Where were you getting money from?" "From Adrian." "What?" "Whenever you'd buy something at the market, he'd give me the money back." "So everyone knew but your wife!" "And all you can say is "bad timing."" "And those new shoes!" "They're carbon fiber cleats." "This is unbelievable." "I'm leaving." "I want you out of my sight." "I don't know when I'll be back." "I'm not going anywhere." "You leave, you're the one who was lying." "Get your stuff and get out." "Leave, Bilbao." "Get out." "I'm going to bed." "Yeah, tomorrow's the big day." "Honey." "Take care." "Surprise!" "What are you doing here?" "I came to say good night." "Since we got interrupted last night..." "What, are we engaged or something?" "No, it's just that the penalty kick is tomorrow." "So?" "And you bring me good luck." "Me?" "If you gave me a kiss, I'm sure I'd block the kick tomorrow." "Yeah, anything else?" "Come on, it's just one kiss." "I don't go around kissing people for the hell of it." "Fine, then let me show you a magic trick." "A trick?" "I'll give you a kiss on the mouth, but without touching your lips." "I'm not going to kiss you." "I won't touch you." "That's impossible." "It's a magic trick." "Just close your eyes." "You won't touch me?" "Exactly." "It's like a magic kiss." "I shouldn't trust you." "You'll be fine." "All right." "You touched my lips!" "Yeah, it didn't work." "You've got some nerve." "Can I try again?" "No." "Second time's a charm." "No." "Come on." "Fernando, don't kid yourself." "Good morning, we've got bright sunshine in the sky with a temperature of78 degrees at only ten in the morning." "We've got a warm day ahead of us, but most of all a thrilling day." "Today the regional championship of group six will be decided by a penalty kick." "The penalty kick already known to fans as" ""the longest penalty in the world,"" "since it appeared in an article in the sporting press about the event, an article which... in all modesty..." "has everyone talking." "Good morning." "Morning." "I have to stop by the bar on the way." "I'll see you at the field." "You'll be fine, you'll see." "Hey, Ana." "What?" "You were right." "About what?" "About making Cecilia laugh." "Last night I did and she kissed me." "Congratulations." "Wait, it was the other way around." "First she kissed me, then she laughed." "Well, I'm not sure." "She laughed at some point." "You'll block it." "Thanks." "Fernando." "A beer so early?" "Are you crazy?" "I would never drink at this hour." "I'm having some of that bifidus... yogurt stuff." "Good luck." "Fernando." "Councilman, good to see you." "I couldn't let today's hero walk to the field." "Now that's public service." "Get in back, it's comfortable." "Hey, more people." "Is this a school bus or what?" "I suppose you won't mind riding with an old man." "Not at all." "Anything's better than walking." "If anybody saw us together..." "I've been meaning to talk to you." "You picked a great time for a chat." "The kick is simply a formality." "You have no chance of blocking it." "If you're trying to scare me, it won't work." "I'm already shitting in my pants as it is." "What we're trying to say is you could benefit from this." "Me?" "Sure." "All you have to do is do nothing." "Hey, I'm pretty fucking good at that." "Actually, it's my specialty." "Just listen to me." "The goal will be no surprise." "And we all win." "You, me, soccer and of course, the neighborhood." "9 out of 10 penalty kicks go in." "Okay, so what's in it for me?" "There's no need for me to do this, but I like helping people in need." "You're retiring this year." "Consider it a bonus." "I'm giving you what Estrella no longer can." "That's a nice little sum for doing nothing." "Just stand there and don't move." "Plenty of goalies freeze up." "You'd better get out here, Fernando." "We shouldn't be seen together." "Fine by me." "Nice to see you." "Right." "This check better not bounce." "I'd never seen so much money before." "Don't worry, enjoy it." "Rodriguez, one more thing." "You asked for it." "I've always wanted to do this." "My whole life, I've always wanted to do this." "You're making a mistake." "Good day, gentlemen." "Yes?" "Hello there." "Is something wrong?" "No, we just wanted to say hi." "I got a parking ticket earlier." "I suppose it wasn't you." "That would be funny." "I don't know what you mean." "There's nothing I can do about it." "That's not why we're here." "We want to wish you luck before the penalty kick." "Do you mind?" "Not at all." "Thank you very much." "We don't have much time, so I'll be frank." "I know about the last game." "I don't know what you mean." "You made every call against us and that penalty was a joke." "We shouldn't even be here talking." "I'm not talking." "I'll report you to the committee and get you tossed." "I don't have to stand for these accusations, gentlemen." "This is unacceptable." "Fine, we're leaving." "Today it's just a penalty kick." "But if anything weird happens, if you make up any tricks," "I swear I won't leave you alone until they kick you out and once they have" "I'll call you every night just to laugh at you." "You got that?" "Let's go." "Don't look at me, I didn't say anything." ""I'll call you every night..."" "Did I overdo it?" "We're ready for some excitement!" "There's much more at stake than the championship!" "Here we go!" "Here come the players for Estrella Polar!" "The surprise team of the season!" "Go!" "And there's today's protagonist, Fernando Diaz!" "What's he doing?" "What the fuck?" "Don't worry about it." "He's probably thirsty." "What the fuck are you doing?" "Estrella Polar's substitute goalie!" "Go block your kick." "Will you go out with me again?" "What?" "One more chance." "If I block it," "you see me again tonight." "Nonsense." "Come on, just say yes." "Only if I block it." "Fine, only if you block it." "See you tonight." "Come on, Fernando!" "You're the best!" "I thought you'd want to try them out." "Thanks." "You came." "Diego wanted to see you." "Listen." "I was afraid." "That's why I didn't tell you." "We'll talk later." "Put on your lucky graphite cleats or whatever they are." "You always shoot right." "What?" "You'll shoot to the right." "Go on, get off." "Get off what?" "What emotion, what tension, what heat, what everything!" "He's about to shoot the penalty kick." "Just like seven days ago, number 11 places the ball on that fateful spot, ready to win the league championship with a single goal." "Fernando Diaz stands before him." "Go, champ!" "Fernando, you can do it!" "Yes, sir." "A whole year of training..." "Everyone get back." "Relax." "Get back." "Only players on the playing field." "We're going, dammit." "Like it's his field." "There they are, face to face." "The moment of truth has arrived." "That ref better blow his whistle." "I could pass out." "Between the heat and it ricochets off his face and out of bounds!" "Wait, the referee's on the ground!" "The referee!" "What the fuck?" "What's wrong?" "He passed out." "You're kidding." "What's wrong?" "The referee fainted." "What happened?" "You fainted because of the stress or the heat or whatever." "What about the kick?" "You missed it?" "The goalie blocked it." "Then it doesn't count." "That's bullshit." "We have to repeat it." "Just stay calm." "Are you okay?" "Yeah." "The rulebook is very clear in such cases." "If the referee is injured, the play is invalidated." "What?" "Meaning?" "Meaning he has to kick the penalty over again." "What?" "Oh, come on!" "Like I said." "I'll kill him!" "I'll kill the bastard." "I warned you, I'll cut off your balls!" "Calm down, Adrian." "It isn't worth it." "You fucking shithead!" "Repeat the penalty?" "You're ejected!" "Get out of here!" "Nobody sends me off!" "I'll tear him a new asshole!" "You always were feisty on this field." "Only when we're robbed!" "I'll kill you!" "Always making excuses!" "Shut your fucking mouth, asshole!" "What's your problem, fatty?" "Touch my cleats and I'll rip your head off." "Son of a...!" "Everyone stop for a second!" "Hold on." "Coach." "What?" "If this has to happen," "Let's get it over with." "I'm in a hurry." "In a hurry?" "Yeah, I have a date later." "Let's do it." "You need anything?" "Me?" "Water or anything." "No, thank you very much." "Let's get to it." "Don't faint again." "Go on then." "This is... totally unheard of, folks." "The penalty kick will be repeated." "We've been waiting all week, the goalie blocks the kick with his face, and now we're shooting again." "This referee is unbelievable." "Which way will I shoot this time?" "It doesn't fucking matter." "I'll block it anyway." "I'll shoot right again" "and it'll go in." "Shoot right and I'll block it." "Shoot left and you'll miss." "Your choice." "Be careful." "You think he really fainted?" "I don't know and I don't care." "I'm going to kill him." "What did he say?" "Nothing." "Score this time." "Don't worry." "Does it hurt?" "Not really." "Who should we be watching?" "The referee who acts more like a member of the other team, the forward who clearly doesn't know which way to shoot, or today's hero, Fernando Diaz, the substitute goalie, our Fernando, who already took one in the face and who also looks" "pretty fucking terrified." "Watch the kick." "I can't, Ana." "Cecilia!" "You can slice the tension with a spoon or a knife or whatever." "The "referee"" "blows his whistle!" "He takes a couple steps back, very little running room." "He's thinking about it." "Which way will he shoot?" "He shoots..." "He hit the post!" "Incredible!" "Fernando Diaz catches it!" "He caught it!" "He caught it!" "God!" "God!" "The schmuck hit the post!" "We're champions!" "We're champions!" "Adrian." "We have plenty to talk about." "Yeah." "Champions!" "He blocked it again!" "I love you, Santos!" "Estrella Polar," "League champions!" "It's a historic moment for the neighborhood and for this team and for everyone!" "Your dad is league champion!" "Look!" "Look!" "Champions!" "Daddy champ!" "Daddy champ!" "Champagne." "Just a little for me." "Does that bring good luck?" "Give me that." "Coach, you didn't think we could do it!" "Champagne!" "Hey, champ!" "I'm coming!" "Did you get her drunk or not?" "What?" "Cecilia." "Did you get her drunk?" "Lower your voice." "You shouldn't trust" "your friend Ortega." "We're not friends." "Whatever." "Getting a girl drunk is a bad idea." "You have to show women respect." "Did you get in her pants or what?" "That's adult stuff." "It's not that simple." "You got rejected, you chump." "Shitty kid." "We made progress." "Your attention, please!" "A little quiet." "Everybody shut up." "How can I put this?" "When we started the season I said that if we won" "I'd pay for a big trip to La Manga." "Right on." "Yeah." "I was kidding, of course." "Yeah, right!" "Are you joking or what?" "We'd never won anything before." "How could I have known we'd win?" "Oh, well." "I guess I'll just have to deliver on my promise." "We're all going to my brother-in-law's hotel!" "We're going to La Manga!" "Julia." "Julia." "We're taking a trip!" "Apparently." "I'll go job-hunting tomorrow." "Did you return your uniform?" "I promise I'll never lie again." "Don't promise." "I promise I'll lose weight." "Don't promise, I know you." "We'll get through this." "It was pretty stupid of you." "Thanks for everything and for the cleats." "Anybody want another beer?" "Ana." "Ana." "Give me two minutes." "I want to show you something." "What?" "You want plans, I bring plans." "What is this?" "Hold this a second." "I talked to Adrian, he gave me contract." "I also talk to bank." "Khaled..." "Look, plans for small house in bumfuck Egypt." "There." "Chorizo can be bedroom for children." "Sausages, street balcony." "We can go there and have home if you want." "Why do I like you so much?" "Because I make you laugh." "No." "Because you fuck my brains out." "You like apartment, yes?" "I meant future plans, not apartment plans." "But this isn't bad." "Future plans?" "What is that?" "Never mind, I'll explain later." "Bye, guys." "Leaving already?" "I have a date." "Have fun, you deserve it." "You can stop being nice to Fernando now." "You're kidding." "You're kidding!" "See you tomorrow." "Bye, sweetie." "Roman." "I have something important for you." "For me?" "Next season you're going to represent the team." "I have lots of news." "Rafa!" "Rafa, come here." "What's up, coach?" "How would you like to do an in-depth article on a fantastic goalie who wins the league but misses his last game?" "Hey, anything when I've got good human material to work with." "Plenty, right Roman?" "Can I see a doctor first?" "Sure, you've got to be in shape." "And a photo?" "Of course." "Come with us to my brother-in-law's hotel." "I should warn you, it's got an amazing sea view and the room is clean..." "I don't understand." "Two tickets to Paris." "Who's going to Paris?" "Since everyone's headed to La Manga and I'm not really a beach person, you and me can go to Paris together." "Oh, la, la." "Paris!" "These must have cost a fortune." "I had some money saved up." "You and me in the city of love?" "That's right." "We have a special connection." "We make each other laugh." "In Paris we'd laugh our asses off." "You don't make me laugh." "Yes, I do." "No." "Okay, if you laugh you come to Paris." "If not, I'll leave you alone." "You're nuts." "It's a bet." "If you're sure" "I won't make you laugh you have nothing to lose." "Okay." "One laugh and it's Paris." "Let's start." "Don't laugh." "No." "No." "This one's great." "How do you make a girl laugh on Sunday?" "How?" "Tell her a joke on Friday!" "Come on, admit it." "That was funny." "Give it up already." "Wait, here's another." "This one is great." "What's long and hard for a woman?" "Well..." "Third grade!" "You laughed." "Me?" "I did not." "You laughed on the inside." "That's cheeky." "You laughed!" "That doesn't count." "You lose." "We're going to Paris." "Eiffel Tower, here we come." "No, Fernando." "I'm not going to Paris with you." "The Moulin Rouge, the Seine, Paris Saint Germain..." "Oh, so it's about soccer!" "Then we're going?" "No, I am not going to Paris for a soccer match." "Okay, but they've got a great team this year." "We're going to Paris!" "No." "You might get mistaken for the Hunchback of Notre Dame." "Stop kidding around." "Fernando!" "What?" "Stop touching my legs." "You'll wrinkle the tickets." "Those aren't the tickets..." "Win or lose, rain or shine, the fans will always be singing their hearts out." "Long live Estrella Polar." "In good times or bad, you're always shining bright." "With pride and purpose, that's Estrella Polar." "Estrella," "Estrella," "Estrella Polar..." "Watching, waiting, ready to fight." "Estrella," "Estrella," "Estrella Polar..." "The fans are in the stands." "Let's go, Estrella, win!" "Estrella, Estrella..."