"You know how when you were a little kid and you believed in fairy tales?" "That fantasy of what your life would be - white dress, prince charming, who'd carry you away to a castle on a hill." "You'd lie in bed at night and close your eyes, and you had complete and utter faith." "8 hours, 16 ounces of chocolate, and 32 cupcakes, and they still don't taste right." "No, these are good." "Martha Stewart would be proud." "Yeah, look where it got her." "Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, prince charming - they were so close, you could taste them." "There's something missing - some specific ingredient." "Why can't I remember?" "But eventually you grow up." "One day you open your eyes, and the fairy tale disappears." "Look, just call her." "Call your mother and ask." "Most people turn to the things and people they can trust." "I don't want to call my mother." "So, let's go sleep at your house tonight." "What?" "Why are we always sleeping at my house?" "Do you even have one?" "One what?" "A house." "With a closet." "With your stuff in it." "Your personal stuff." "Do you even have one of those?" "Good morning." "Hey." "You guys want a cupcake?" "Izzie made 'em." "You know, I like it here." "Hey, you said so yourself - you liked having your things around, sleeping in your own bed." "You're like a health nut, aren't you?" "You eat muesli every morning." "No, I don't." "Okay, the muesli thing - you do." " The last 7 days, at least." " Oh, come on." "I haven't been here for a whole week..." "Have I?" "See?" "Even they think it's weird." "But the thing is, it's hard to let go of that fairy tale entirely." "Almost everyone still has that smallest bit of hope - of faith - that one day they'll open their eyes" "and it will all come true." "So, I've checked the schedule." "I start E.N.T. on the 9th." "It's a light rotation." "Can you get me in then?" "Oh, I'm afraid not." "We have openings on the 16th." "There are other options besides termination, you know?" "Adoption... keeping the baby." " You think it over." "Call me back." " Put me down for the 16th." "I'll confirm after I rearrange my schedule." " I know this is a difficult decision." " Okay, you know the talking part?" "I'm not interested." "So, Devo, you just had a root canal, correct?" "Yeah." "I couldn't stop bleeding after - literally." "Now I'm stuck with you guys." "Give me the bullet." "17-year-old female hospitalized for excessive bleeding, status post root canal." "Also had a significant new heart murmur associated with fever." "Now afebrile on antibiotics." "If I'm gonna die, can you page my mom and dad?" "You're not dying." "Where are your parents?" "In the cafeteria." "My freak father likes hospital food." "You're in excellent hands here." "Dr. Karev is gonna run some labs." "And I'll see you with your parents in a little while." "Add a bleeding time to the coags." "So, what kind of name is "Devo," anyway?" "'80s rocker." "My parents did too much blow." "I call myself "Esther."" "Nice skirt, Esther." "What are you, amish?" "Haven't you ever seen an orthodox jew?" "This guy belongs in psych." "What are you doing turfing him here?" "He's my gift to you." "Had a seizure two days ago and another one this morning." "What are you talking about?" "It says right here," ""he talks to dead people, his family thinks he's dangerous, and they had him committed."" "That's psych, not neuro." "Didn't you go to med school?" "Yes, unlike the correspondence school you attended." "Oh, that would be stanford, right?" "I learned not to jump to conclusions." "Sorry, ladies." "We can't take him back until he's cleared." "You're dumping him on us?" "He thinks his seizures are visions." "Hello!" "They're not seizures." "I'm psychic." "Of course you are, and I'm a chicken." "Hey, genius." "Okay, Mr. Duff." "We're gonna start our work-up now." "Work me up, work me down." "I'm telling you, it's a waste of time." "Can you grip my fingers, please?" "Cristina..." "Mr. Duff?" "Mr. Duff, are you okay?" "Someone..." "Someone what?" "Someone's gonna check out." "Bye-bye." "The man - he's nuts." "I'm dizzy, not deaf, lady." "Someone on the fourth floor is gonna die." "Code blue, fourth floor." "Code blue, fourth floor." "Got a code." "Right away." "Get it." "Fourth floor, dead guy." "The psychic predicted the fourth-floor dead guy." "I need someone to cover me on the 16th." "You in?" "I'm thinking about letting my hair grow." "And maybe I won't shave - go for the stubble effect." "What do you think?" "The 16th, George." "Can you cover me or not?" "Uh, yeah." "I guess." "Why?" "It's none of your business." "A "thank you" would be nice." "It's just that I hardly know anything about you." "I'm from New York." "I like ferry boats." "Enough with the ferry boats." "What about your friends?" "I'm a surgeon." "I don't have friends." "Everybody has friends." "I mean, who do you hang out with?" "What do you do on your days off?" " These are important questions." " Ah, important for who?" "We're having sex every night." "I think I deserve details." " You have more details than most." " This is going somewhere weird." "I want facts, and until I get them, my pants are staying on." "Or you could just roll with it." "Be flexible." "See what happens." "I'm not flexible." "There I disagree." "Hmm." "I got to go." "We'll find these things out." "That's the fun part, you know?" "That's the gravy." "That is what I'm talking about." "I don't want to be your gravy." "Your daughter needs a valve replacement." "Tests are indicative of von willebrand's disease, which explains the excessive bleeding after the root canal." "And that means?" "Devo can't take the blood thinners necessary to maintain a mechanical heart valve." "We're suggesting a porcine valve instead." "Porcine?" "As in pig?" "It's the standard of care for someone in this situation." "Pig, huh?" "It's the other white meat." "I don't care what you do." "Save my daughter's life." "I'm removing the lump now." "Someone said you guys have a psychic running around here." "Is that true?" "I did not even hear you say that." "Predicted someone would die on the fourth floor." "I.C.U.'s on the fourth floor." "People die all the time." "Okay." "We're finishing up here, Mrs. Glass." "We'll take this down to path and get the results of the frozen-section biopsy and see you in a few hours." "Seriously, the guy is just playing mind games." "I can see further into the future than he can." "Why do you even care about this, Stevens?" "I don't." "Okay, Mr. Walker." "Does that hurt?" "I can't feel anything until you get to my thigh." "Try wiggling your toes." "Are they moving?" " No." " Damn." "I could about 10 minutes ago." "Well, your spine x-rays look clear." "You fell rock-climbing?" "In snohomish." "Just a small drop." "I was belayed." "My wife and boys are on the way." "What's wrong with me, anyway?" "Hold your legs up." " Should I be scared now?" " Just try and relax." "Nurse, I need a stat M.R.I." "Send an intern with him." "Make it Meredith Grey." "Ew - thick, short neck." "That isn't good." "It's hard to intubate." "You want me to do that?" "He's my patient." "I'm fine." "I just can't see anything." "Add suction." "Don't break any teeth." "Don't you think I know that?" "Pulse ox down 87%." "Bag him." "Are you sure you don't want me to do that?" "No, damn it!" "Tube." "There." "Huh." "Got it." "It's in the esophagus." "Don't you know an esophagus from a trachea?" "Damn it!" "Anatomy is all messed up in here." "Are you trying to kill this patient, O'Malley?" "Maybe we can send you back to practice on mannequins." "No, it's just I haven't done that much - but when I have, it's - it's been good." "It's just I-I haven't " "Let's review the concepts." "Never take your eyes away." "Always - always - know you can follow through." "Don't ever follow through on one of my patients, O'Malley." "Botox would do wonders for all those frown lines." "Okay." "Shut up." "Are you allowed to talk to me like that?" "God, you're hot... in a Mrs. Livingston kind of way." "See here?" "These are spikes in your temporal lobe." "It means you have epilepsy." "Not visions." "Seizures." "You think I'm epileptic?" "That is so not right." "I'm gonna order an M.R.I. so I can take a closer look at your brain." "Yeah, there's no way " "Mr. Duff?" "Mr. Duff, can you see me?" "Can you hear me?" "Stay with me." "I wouldn't have picked you for the mommy track, nurse Betty." "See?" "I told you I know things." "This pregnancy thing - you can't run away from it." "Dr. Bailey, I want off the psychic case." "I'll take whatever you got." "Can I switch?" "Ask nicely." "Uh, well, this is me doing nicely." "Look, I know the type." "These guys want everybody to think they're a sideshow." "Let me take him." "I don't do switches." "I'll do your post-op notes for a month." "Fine." "I can accept that." "Izzie, you get psych guy." "Yay." "This is your lucky day." "You get to be with me on the breast cancer." "There's spotting." "You'll need to do a pelvic." "She's pregnant." "See?" "This." "The guy's films are clear." "There's no reason I can see for his creeping paralysis." "It's just so surprising." "I expected an intrusion into the spinal space or a bony spur in the nucleus pulposus." "Well, you were wrong." "You don't always get what you expect, do you?" "What is your problem?" "Give me something to go on." "Anything." "What are your grandparents' names?" "I don't have grandparents." "Where'd you grow up?" "What's your favorite flavor of ice cream?" "Where'd you spend your summer vacations?" "Lighten up - it'll be good for your blood pressure." "Oh, don't you tell me to lighten up." "I'll lighten up when I... feel light." "Don't we have treatment options?" "I-I mean, aren't there always alternatives?" "With this stage of invasive carcinoma, surgery, chemo, radiation, and drug therapy are your only options." "Can I wait until the end of my pregnancy?" "The pregnancy hormones will likely speed the growth of the cancer." "And the baby?" "None of these courses of treatment will allow the baby to survive." "Mr. and Mrs. Glass, I understand how difficult this is." "No disrespect, but like hell you do." "You're going to have to make a decision as to how you want to proceed." "You mean my baby's life or my own?" "Yes." "We'll have to evacuate the fetus." "Any changes, Mr. Walker?" "I can't move my legs at all now." "He was moving his legs when he came in." "What's wrong with him?" "I don't know." "The paralysis is moving quickly, and there was nothing in the M.R.I. to explain it." "Has tommy been under any stress lately?" "You know what's making me stressed?" "Being in here and not being able to move." "Dr. Grey..." "Emotional trauma can be converted into something physical, right?" " This is possible." " Okay." "Like hysterical numbness or paralysis." "Maybe there is no physiological reason, and he's just having a conversion reaction." "It's psychosomatic?" "It is not in your head, man." " I believe you." " Mr. Duff, please." "Who was that?" "Psych sent him down." "He has visions." "Is that it?" "Am I crazy?" "No." "No." "I'm gonna order a higher-level M.R.I." "We're gonna figure this out." "You know how important this is to me!" "This is about saving your life." "You're not respecting it - or me." "You're letting them put a pig - a freaking nonkosher, traif mammal - into my chest - into my heart - the very essence of my being!" "It's a porcine valve, actually." "I don't care what the hell it is." "If you give me a pig part, I might as well be dead." "This orthodox thing was a mistake." "What was wrong with being reform like everyone else?" "You guys don't even light candles friday nights." "You don't even know all the passover plagues." "Boils, vermin, pestilence." "Even I know that." "Miss Friedman..." "I appreciate your extreme religious convictions." " Fire, hail..." " Simply put, without this procedure, you will die." "You're hotshot doctors." "You'll come up with something else." "As long as it doesn't answer to wilbur and say "oink,"" "I don't care what it is." "Your nostrils are flaring." "They are not." "You're into me." "I can tell." "Dr. Small-and-angry was a hot appetizer, but you, doc, are a smorgasbord of lust." "Mr. Duff, you're pressing your luck." "Would you press it for me?" "I hope you're not claustrophobic." "You're staring at me." "Stop it." "I'm looking at you, but it's the strangest thing." "I'm hungry for a chocolate cupcake." "What did you say?" "A chocolate cupcake." "Maybe one of those fudgey things with the white squiggle on the frosting." "Could you oblige?" "What, do I still have some chocolate on my face or in my hair or something?" "What are you talking about?" "You." "I know the drill, so keep it up." "Next you'll be reading my cards, telling me my dead uncle is in the room." "Is he?" "I don't have a dead uncle." "I'm watching you." " If that's turkey, can I have some?" " It's soggy." "Maybe it'll kill you, solve everything." "I could have gotten that intubation." "I am good at intubations." "Why does everything in a hospital smell like a hospital?" "Don't be so hard on yourself, George." "Everybody makes mistakes." "I'm good at a lot of things." "You know what?" "I'm gonna tell you something." "Hey, George." "You need to get laid." "See that nurse over there?" "She's single." "She's got red hair." "Go ask her out." " I intubated an esophagus." " Dude, you're tweaking." "Maybe you should go see that psychic." "Mr. Duff is not a psychic!" "I am trying to help you." "Go buy her a latte and freshen up your gonad, please." "Shut up." "It's not too late to call her." "Moms like that - surprises on their birthdays." "You know, it's very hallmark." "I'm 47, you know?" "I'm 47 and having a baby, which is kind of a miracle, and it kind of sucks, if you see what I mean." "We'd given up on the kid thing about a year ago." "You know, fertility treatments, acupuncture needles in my eyes." "Well, not really, but it felt like it." "It was like, "screw this." "I want my life back."" "Then one awesome night on the beach with a bottle of merlot " "I should have these labs back in a couple hours." "You get it, right?" "My hesitation?" "This isn't an easy decision, I mean." "I'm having a baby." "You have advanced-stage carcinoma." "You're 47 years old." "Statistically you have a good probability of survival." "If you forego treatment, chances are you won't see your baby go to kindergarten, so whose life are you interested in saving?" "Excuse me." "First my legs, then my stomach." "God." "Doc!" "Doc, my hands can't move." "Squeeze my fingers." "I can't." "Right here." "No?" "Let me know if you feel this." "How about that?" "Here?" "Anything here?" "Up here?" "Okay." "Nothing on this side?" "All right." "I'll be right back." "Nurse, cancel the second M.R.I. Call down and prep O.R. stat." "You're operating?" "On what?" "If there was something to fix, wouldn't we have seen it?" "I think the M.R.I. missed a clot in his upper spine." "I'm gonna cut him open." "I'm going in." "What if you're wrong?" "Couldn't unnecessary spinal surgery do more damage?" "If we wait any longer, we have a paralyzed man who can't breathe." "I'm trusting my instincts." "Sometimes you got to take a chance to save a life." "Your mitral regurge is getting worse." "The valves are leakier than ever." "Are you hitting on me?" "If you want me to." "I hear they call you Dr. Evilspawn." "Well, only the people that like me." "I guess that explains the lack-of-faith thing." "You know, I kind of think of myself as a pagan, but, hey, that's just me." "You know what it's like being a teenager these days?" "My friends spend most of their time screwing around and getting wasted." "At least I have god." "Well, so, god wants you to die, huh?" "He wants me to be passionate about what I believe in." "You don't believe in anything." "My mother used to pray to Saint Jude for me." "How appropriate - patron saint of lost causes." "I did an angio on my psych case." "The M.R.I. came out clean, but I saw a ditzel." "There's something here." "Yep, you're right." "There's an A.V.M. on his left temporal lobe." "I'll schedule the O.R. for tonight, then." "Oh, back up, girl." "There's high risk of spontaneous hemorrhage." "The attending has to see the films." "We need consent forms." "Believe it or not, Stevens, we have to follow protocol." "But if the A.V.M. looks like it's gonna blow, we fix it, right?" "If the man needs to be fixed, we'll fix him." "Why are you moving so quickly?" "You get too involved with your patients, Izzie." "Why do you make everything so personal?" "It's not personal." "It's not." "Pulse ox - 98." "We've got to save this cord." "This guy's built like the rock of gibraltar." "You want me to start?" "I'm gonna cut here from the base of the neck to the rib cage." "I want you to hit the bleeders." "I still don't think we should be doing this." " This guy has a spinal hematoma..." " We don't know that." "Which left untreated are almost always fatal." "You're cutting blind." "Whatever happened to being practical?" "I need to see more here. retractor." "Wow." "The spine." "There's no "wow" in "practical."" "We have decided to go ahead with the evacuation." "What the hell, right?" "Maybe this is how it's supposed to be." "We need to start chemo right away, then." "We'll get everything ready." "Have you ever done a "d" and "c" before?" "We learned at school." "Okay, uh, go ahead." "I'll call an O.B. resident down to supervise." "If she needs anything, page me." "You're using up my oxygen, O'Malley." "How does a pompous, cocky jackass like you always have women all over him?" "Little blue love pills - lots of them." "Come on." "Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee." "There it is - a bovine xenograft." "O'Malley, you think too much." "Can't you see it?" "You got to dance and jab." "Dance and jab." "Like me." "I am the Ali of this place." "Does the wall ever bow back?" "It's called davening, smartass." "This is me communing with god, and you're interrupting." "I've found a transplant option." "At first I thought maybe a cadaver, but they're really hard to find." "And then I realized Dr. Burke can transplant a bovine mitral valve instead of the pig." "She can get a cow valve?" "Dr. Burke, why wasn't this mentioned before?" "The bovine valve has only been an option the last few years." "And it's a much more complicated procedure." "But the best part is it's superior to the pig." "It lasts longer." "What small fraction of your brain were you using in there?" "Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you not present an alternative procedure without consulting your attending first?" " I thought you'd be " " What, impressed?" " That's just stupid." " I'm sorry." "We're finished here, Karev." "You're off this case." "You need to sign these consent forms so we can proceed with your surgery." "I'm not signing anything unless it's got my name on it followed by a whole bunch of zeros." "Look, the A.V.M. is located in this crucial part of the brain." "It's a tangle of blood vessels that could burst and affect your speech, among other things." "We know your visions are actually seizures." "Do you?" "Do I what?" "Know they're seizures." "You're really good at reading people, aren't you, telling them what they want to hear?" "There's an unfortunate alignment of saturn in the house of jupiter right now." "Okay." "I know what you're doing." "You watch people - read their body language." "You say "chocolate cupcakes," I lean towards you, so you think you're on the right track." "Not only do you know you're having seizures, but you're milking it." "Well, we'll just see about that, Cricket." "What?" "What did you just call me?" "I'm gonna do a quick pelvic exam." "The O.B. resident should be down soon." "It's a short procedure." "Your husband can stay if he likes." "We changed our minds." "Excuse me?" "We've decided to keep the baby." "You have cancer." "Can you tell me I'll survive if I go through with this?" "Having the procedure does not necessarily improve the treatment outcome." "You have quite the bedside manner." "You know that, right?" "My mom died of breast cancer when she was in her 40s." "I have that cancer gene." "My chances are pretty much lose-lose, whichever way you look at it, except for the baby." "We're keeping it." " I'll call down a psych consult." " Don't bother." "I am going to get fat and happy instead of skinny and bald." " Look, if you want to live " " Honey, that's what I'm doing." "Look, if you think you're gonna get any, think again." "I'm not in the mood." " I'm not in the mood either." " Good." "What do you want?" "Nothing." "I just haven't seen you all day." "So, I'm working." "I've never done a bovine replacement before." "I don't know what I'm doing." "Look it up, research it, and get someone to assist you." "It's not that easy." "This is a problem that has a solution, Burke." "There are a lot of problems that don't." "Third thoracic laminae." "Nothing." "I think I see the dura pulsating here." "No, it's not." "Keep looking." "We have been at this for 4 hours." "Maybe he just injured his spinal cord, and there's nothing to fix." "Grey, when you read your books, make sure you reference them correctly." "Progressive paralysis implies a pressure lesion." "My books got me here..." "Pressure's 180 over 111." "The pulse is in the 40s." "What is it?" "I'm pushing 70 milligrams of diazoxide." "Okay." "Autonomic dysreflexia." "Damage to the sympathetic nervous system?" "B.P. and the heart rate are unstable." "We're in trouble, aren't we?" "We've got to find the clot." "I can see the cord below the dura." "Focus, Grey." "We're gonna find the clot." "It's there." " Cleanup, please." " Okay." "B.P.'s still up." "Heart rate's at 44." "Get on those bleeders." "Keep looking, Dr. Grey." "Dr. O'Malley?" "Our patient's pulse ox is dropping." "She's agonal." "She needs to be intubated." "Isn't there anyone else who can do this?" "You're standing here." "I could try and find someone." "No, that's " "I got it." "Okay." " Sats down to 86%." " Crich pressure, please." "Okay." "I see cords." "Tube." "Hurry." "Check for breath sounds." "Clear and equal." "C-o-2 detector mellow yellow." "Smooth moves, doctor." "Kicked ass." "Oh, Dr. Karev." "How long would it take to get a cow valve?" "About 60 minutes by messenger." "You're scrubbing in." "Thank you very much, sir." "This doesn't get you any points, Karev." "I'm the only one with points around here, okay?" "Oh, by the way, Devo wants a rabbi to bless her before surgery." "Seriously?" "You came up with the cow, you can find that girl a rabbi." " What is it?" " See for yourself - the second thoracic vertebrae." "Oh, my god." "I see it." "It really is there." "Of course it is." "Let's suction and pack this baby, shall we?" "You were right." "Is he gonna be okay?" "I think so." "But you don't know that." "We stopped the paralysis from advancing." "But you don't know if the paralysis he already has will be permanent." "No." "You keep taking everything on faith." "How do you know what's real and what's not?" "You just do." "Some people would call this a relationship." "The kind where you exchange keys, leave your toothbrush over." "Who?" "Who would call it that?" "Me." "I would." "I'm supposed to believe you?" "Show me something." "Give me a reason to believe." "I have your discharge papers." "Oh, you're not happy with me, are you?" "I'm your doctor." "It's not my place to be happy." "My husband and child are going to be together long after I'm gone." "We've talked about it." "It's our decision, and that's okay." "So, why do you need my approval?" "I want you to understand." "Well, I don't." "I brought the consent forms again." "You really need to sign them." "Your surgeon scheduled the O.R." "Mr. Duff, are you all right?" "Are you having another seizure?" "Yeah." "Yeah." "I think maybe I am." "What is it?" "It's me." "I think it's about to be over." "We know what we're doing, Mr. Duff." "You saw the angio results." "We're catching the A.V.M. just in time." "You don't need to be nervous." "You're not gonna die." "I'm not talking about dying." "My whole life has been about what I see and about believing in myself, whatever people think." "You're telling me there's a chance that will go away." "Look, you're a healthy guy." "You're gonna live a long, full life." "If your psychic visions are real, you've got to believe you'll have them when you come out." "She's good." "This is Dr. Chesney from the cleveland clinic." "He's an expert on bovine valve replacement surgery." "He will be assisting via satellite." "Thank you, doctor." "After the sternotomy and connection to bypass, we're going to do a transverse left atriotomy to expose the valve." "I tried to talk Shepherd out of that clot surgery." "What is wrong with me?" "Basically, you tried to kill the guy." "Basically, you're an ass." "You know you want it." "Come to papa, baby." "This, uh, is George." "George has a hot date." "Oh, that's great, George." "Yeah." "Left pocket of my lab coat, Georgie." "No glove, no love." "My psychic had his surgery." "Yeah?" "I wonder what happened with his... gift." "Come on." "We all know he's crazy." "You said you didn't believe in that stuff." "I grew up in a trailer park." "I waited tables, which was supposed to put me through college, but my mother was always calling these psychics all the time." "And the bills started piling up, so I had to use my money to pay them." "When I turned 18, I left and never went back." "But this guy has been saying things to me - things he couldn't possibly know anything about." "So..." "I just wonder." "Do you have sensation anywhere else?" "Some feeling in my stomach and feet, I guess." "Bladder and bowels?" "Not so good still." "The pressure stockings help relieve clots?" "They do." "I wanted to thank you... for everything." "Believing in me, that I wasn't making it up." "Well, I'll come back tomorrow, then." "I wanted to show you something." "I wasn't sure it would last, but now look." "I know it's hardly anything, but " "No, it's something." "It's something really big." "At the end of the day, faith is a funny thing." "It turns up when you don't really expect it." "Mr. Duff, you're still with us." "For your recipe... one tablespoon coconut extract." "It's like one day you realize that the fairy tale may be slightly different than you dreamed." "Where are we going?" "Trust me." "The castle - well, it may not be a castle." "Does it beat... or moo?" "And it's not so important that it's happy ever after... just that it's happy right now." "Mom." "It's me..." "Cricket." "See, once in a while - once in a blue moon - people will surprise you." "I've been thinking about you a lot, too." "Where are we?" "Shh, shh, shh." "I'm gonna tell you." "All right." "My mother's maiden name" " Maloney." "I have 4 sisters." "I have, uh, 9 nieces." "5 nephews." "I like coffee ice cream, single-malt scotch, occasionally a good cigar." "I like to fly-fish." "I cheat when I do the crossword puzzle on sunday." "And I never dance in public." "Um, favorite novel - "the sun also rises."" "Favorite band" " The Clash." "My favorite color is blue." "I don't like light blue - indigo." "The scar right here on my forehead - that's why I don't ride motorcycles anymore." "And I live in that trailer." "All this land is mine." "I have no idea what I'm gonna do with it." "So that's it." "That's all you've earned for now." "The rest you're just - just gonna have to take on faith." "And once in a while... people may even take your breath away."