"performed by Harry James)" "(narrator) Once upon a time, many years ago two burglars broke into our neighbours' house in Rockaway." "Mr and Mrs Needleman had gone to a movie." "The following events occurred." "(frantic whispering)" "(phone rings)" " You think vve should ansvver the phone?" " Are you crazy?" "You vvanna vvake up the vvhole neighbourhood?" "Hello?" "You, Mr Marty Needleman, have been chosen from the telephone book to guess that tune!" "(dramatic chord)" "Jesus." "(snatch of dance music)" "Can you tell us vvhat is the tune the orchestra is playing?" "I can't hear it." "Find the radio and turn it on!" " What's goin' on?" " Shh." "I can't hear." " What are you doin'?" " I think I knovv it." "Jesus!" "(hums along to tune)" " "Dancing in the Dark"." " That's right!" "And novv for question tvvo on the vvay to the grand jackpot." "Here's the tune." " "Chinatovvn, My Chinatovvn"." " That's correct!" "And novv the chance for the grand jackpot vvith all the prizes!" "This one is not so easy, so get ready." " It sounds familiar." "I don't..." " I knovv that one." "I knovv it from my father." " What?" " "The Sailor's Hornpipe"." ""The Sailor's Hornpipe"?" "That's right!" "Mr Marty Needleman, you've vvon the grand jackpot!" "I'm rich!" "Ah-ha-ha-ha!" "We vvon!" "The Needlemans returned home and were shocked to find a ransacked apartment with $50 and silverware missing." "But the following morning a truck arrived." "Now I love old radio stories, and I know a million of 'em." "I've collected 'em down the years, like a hobby." "Anecdotes and gossip, and inside stories about the stars." "I recall so many personal experiences from when I grew up and listened to one show after another." "This girl singing used to be a favourite at my house - one of many." "Now it's all gone." "Except for the memories." "The scene is Rockaway." "The time is my childhood." "It's my old neighbourhood, and forgive me if I tend to romanticise the past." "I mean, it wasn't always as stormy and rain-swept as this." "But I remember it that way because that was it at its most beautiful." "In those days the radio was constantly playing at our house." "My mother, for instance, never missed her favourite show "Breakfast with Irene and Roger"." "(woman) Good morning, darling." "Pass the orange juice." "(man) There you go." "Quite an opening night we attended last night, wasn't it?" "Yes, wasn't it divine?" "Everyone was there, from Rodgers and Hart to Cole Porter." "(narrator) Two completely different worlds." "While my mother stood over the dirty plates Irene and Roger ate an elegant breakfast in their chic Manhattan town house while they chatted charmingly about people and places we only dreamt of." "Tomorrovv morning vve'll tell you all about it and also about the nevv Moss Hart play, vvhich I hear is just divine." " This is Irene Draper..." "...and Roger Daly, saying have us for breakfast tomorrovv and every morning and have a vvonderful day." "My own personal favourite show was called "The Masked Avenger" who I fantasised was a cross between Superman and Cary Grant." "Little did I know." " It's the Masked Avenger!" " It's off to jail for you." "I hope you'll enjoy making licence plates." "I'd like to tell you about the Masked Avenger secret-compartment ring and how it turned me to crime." "But first you have to meet me." "And my family." "There I am in my Masked Avenger hat and goggles which I got off my friend in a trade." "Then there were my father and mother two people who could find an argument in any subject." "Wait, you think the Atlantic is a greater ocean than the Pacific?" "!" "No." "Have it your vvay." "The Pacific is greater." "I mean, how many people fight over oceans?" "Then there was my Uncle Abe." "He got fish from his friends at Sheepshead Bay." "Ceil, I'm home!" "Ceil, I got fish." "I got great fish today." " What do vve need more fish for?" " And my Aunt Ceil who dreamed of a more exciting life than having to fillet his flounder." " They're fresh fish!" " He has friends at Oscar's Dock so he can't spend one day there vvhere they don't load him up vvith fish!" "You don't like it, take the gas pipe!" "Next there was Grandpa and Grandma." "Every morning he spent a half hour packing her into her corset." "I'm pulling, I'm pulling!" "A vvoman in her seventies, and her bosom is still grovving!" "Abe and Ceil's daughter was Cousin Ruthie who entertained herself by listening to the neighbours on the party line." " Mrs Waldbaum's having her ovaries out!" " Both, or one?" "Get off the line, OK?" "Stop listening in on my phone!" "Stop snooping on us!" "All right, all right!" "Don't get your bovvels in an uproar!" "Nobody's snooping." "Oh, yeah?" "My vvife hears her breathing." "And she giggles!" "Hey, Waldbaum!" "You think vve care vvhat goes on in your house?" "Let them take her ovaries out!" "What's it our business?" "Mrs Waldbaum had a steel plate in her head." "It was said she couldn't walk near magnets." "(dance music)" "Finally, there was Aunt Bea, who only wanted to get married." "This is a lindy." "My dancing teacher gave me this great nevv step for it." "Hey, Tess?" "Tess, I can't decide if I should take my vacation on a cruise or go to the mountains." "I mean, the men are richer on a cruise, but there's more of them in the resorts." "Well, I met my husband at a mountain resort, so I advise you to go on a cruise." "That's very funny." "Can vve get back to my idea?" "We buy cultured pearls." "We box 'em here in velvet, and vve sell them mail order." "You vvere in jevvellery." "It didn't vvork." "We got stuck vvith the rhinestone earrings." "You don't have a business head." "We got stuck vvith mail-order parts you tried seeds, then you lost money selling greeting cards..." "We have 6,000 "Get Well" cards in the closet!" "There aren't 6,000 sick people in America!" "Forget it. I'll spend the rest of my life at the job I do." " What do you do, Dad?" " None of your business." " All my friends knovv vvhat their dads do." " Don't you have homevvork?" " Got 15 cents for a Masked Avenger ring?" " What am I, made of money?" "Pay attention to your school vvork, not the radio!" " You alvvays listen to the radio." " It's different." "Our lives are ruined already." "You still have a chance to be somebody." " Think I vvant you doin' the job I do?" " I don't knovv vvhat your job is." " You gotta get an education." " While I'm getting it, can I get the ring?" "We don't have money to vvaste." "You think vve all like living together?" "We'd like to save up, maybe have another child." "Your father vvorks like a horse supporting everybody..." " At vvhat?" " He's a big butter-and-egg man." "What do you mean, our lives are ruined?" "I didn't mean ruined ruined." "We're poor but happy." "But definitely poor." "Isn't this a beautiful sea bass?" "Who vvants to join me, hm?" "By now you've probably guessed that the Masked Avenger ring meant a lot to me." "Well, it did." "Because they were gold and mysterious, and they fit any finger." "The box top I already had, but the 15 cents was hard to come by in those days." "I tried not thinking about it, but it was very hard to keep off my mind." "...and the masts and the sail." "You even have to vvork vvith the tvveezers to get some of the small stuff in." " l'll pass it around." " That vvas lovely, Evelyn." "Arnold, vvhy don't you shovv the class vvhat you have?" "Stand right over there." " I found this on my parents' night table." " That vvill be enough!" "Sit dovvn!" "Put that thing in your pocket and sit dovvn!" "Ross, you have something suitable to shovv the class, don't you?" "Very good." "Stand right here." "This is my Masked Avenger secret-compartment ring." "It's very special to me..." "Now, basically I was an honest kid." "But there are some things in life that are just too compelling." "That afternoon at Hebrew school, a scheme occurred to me." "Next vveek, vve are going to issue collection boxes." "And each of you vvill be asked to go out in the street and collect funds for the promotion of a nevv state in Palestine." "Can you give to the Jevvish National Fund to help us build a homeland in Palestine?" "Hovv about you?" "Can you give to the Jevvish National Fund?" "Can you..." "No?" "Hey, can you..." "Excuse me, can you..." "Give it to me." "Please." "Thank you." "Guys, vve got enough to get the Masked Avenger rings and an ice cream soda." " We gotta leave some for Palestine." " Why?" "It's all the vvay over in Egypt." " It's a sin." "What if the rabbi catches us?" " He vvon't." "Besides, I can handle him." " You sure?" " Positive." "Dimes!" "I got four dimes!" "Monies for a Jevvish homeland used to buy this Masked Avenger ring?" "!" "My heart is full of grief." "It svvells vvith anguish!" " He'll pay back every cent." " Yep." "Shut up." "I don't knovv vvhat to do, Rabbi." "Every night he listens to the radio." "I say "Go to the beach, play in the sun, get some fresh air."" "No." "The Lone Ranger, the Shadovv, the Masked Avenger..." "This is no good." "This boy needs discipline." "Radio..." "Tsk-tsk..." "It's all right once in a vvhile." "Othervvise it tends to induce bad values, false dreams, lazy habits." "Listening to these stories of foolishness and violence this is no vvay for a boy to grovv up." "You speak the truth, my faithful Indian companion." "To a rabbi you say "my faithful Indian companion"?" "!" " Hey, don't hit my son." " What kind of upbringing is this?" "!" "Look, I'll hit him, but you don't hit him!" " I said I'll hit him!" "You leave him alone!" " No, I'll hit him!" "You're too lenient!" "Oh, I'm lenient?" "What, that's lenient?" "I am a faithful Indian?" "Such an impertinence!" "Rabbi, I vvill teach him some manners." "You and that radio!" " Think that's lenient?" "!" " Enough, enough." "You'll hurt the boy." "And so that ended my career in crime." "And I never did get the Masked Avenger ring." "But to this day I still get chills when I recall his famous sign-off." "(radio presenter) Tune in for another adventure of "The Masked Avenger" when he flies over the city rooftops, and we all hear his cry:" "(Masked Avenger) Beware, evildoers, wherever you are!" "(dramatic music)" "(dance music)" " Tess, did you see my yellovv bag?" " I didn't touch it." "Ooh, vvhat is that?" "Turn it up." " What's the fuss?" " Mr Manulis finally asked her out." " What'd he do, go blind?" " Him vvith the insults, right?" "Hey!" " Tell her she looks nice." " l'll tell her, I'll tell her." "Mrs Waldbaum found a pocketbook and she doesn't think she's gonna give it back." " Tess, can I borrovv your anchor pin?" " Sure, sure." "Oh, God, he's so handsome!" "I vvaited so long!" "I never thought he'd ask me!" " Where'd you meet?" " In the Catskills." "He rides horseback, he dances, he's some tennis player!" " Sounds a perfect victim." "What's he do?" " His firm imports coffee." " What do you do, Dad?" " Hey, get my cigarettes." " This could be the ansvver to my prayers." " Isn't it time you compromised?" " I don't knovv the meaning of that vvord." " So stay single." "Can you smell my perfume?" "(doorbell)" "Oh, gosh." "Oh, gosh." "OK..." "Ceil, get it." "I don't vvant to appear too anxious." "I've been cleaning fish all afternoon." " l'll get it." " Oh, my gosh, my glasses." "Almost forgot my glasses." "(Tess) Oh, vvell, hello!" "Come on in." "Would you come in, please?" " I'm Bea's sister, Tess." " Hovv do you do?" "ls Bea ready?" "Oh, she'll only be a minute." " This is, uh, most of my family." " Oh, hello." " And this is my husband." " Oh, pleased, pleased!" " That's, uh, a firm handshake you got." " Well, sure." "I hate vvhen somebody shakes your hand, they put a dead pavv in it." " Sidney." " Ahh!" " Have you been vvaiting long?" " Oh, not at all, sugar." " Well, have a nice time." " Yeah, come on, sugar." "Into the old jalopy." "We're gonna paint the tovvn red!" " Avv, gosh, didn't Bea look lovely?" " Did she fall into a vat of perfume?" "When vve vvere young, of the three sisters, she vvas considered the pretty one." " Some contest." " Oh, vvhat do you knovv?" "You're lucky I love you, you old douche bag." "Aunt Bea and Mr Manulis were having a wonderful time." "He took her out to Coney Island, where they went roller-skating." "Although she had never roller-skated in her life in his capable hands, she did her best." "He took her for oysters and beer." "As she later told the story, she was shy about having to wear glasses and kept trying to hide the fact that she needed them." "Aunt Bea was really developing a crush on Mr Manulis." "As they ate and joked, it would have been impossible to guess that their evening together would soon end in total disaster." "Oh, did I have a vvonderful time!" "I'm still a little tipsy from that beer." " Oh, really?" "Cos you only had one." " I knovv, but alcohol affects me strongly." "And you, hovv can you even drive?" "You must have had five beers!" "Oh, I'm a big boy." "I could have ten!" "Oh, and it's so foggy." "Yeah." "I love the fog." "It's very romantic." "(car backfires)" "What's that?" "You vvon't believe this, but vve're out of gas." "Oh, gosh." "Wouldn't you knovv it?" "Right out here on the tip of Breezy Point, too." "Looks like vve're stuck here." "At least till the fog lifts." "Oh, vvell, vvhat's a girl to do?" "Oh, Sidney!" "Sidney, this is our first date together." "Avv, Bea, you knovv hovv I feel about ya." "(radio) We interrupt with a special news bulletin." "A state of emergency has been declared by the president of the US." "We go live to Wilson's Glen, New Jersey where the landing of hundreds of spacecraft has now been officially confirmed as a full-scale invasion by Martians." "(interference)" "People are dying and being trampled in their efforts to escape." "The power lines are down everywhere." "We could be cut off at any minute." "Oh, my gosh!" "There's another group of spaceships, of alien ships, coming out of the sky... (narrator) Despite his bravado Mr Manulis panicked and bolted out of the car." "He was so frightened by the reports of interplanetary invasion that he ran off leaving Aunt Bea to contend with the green monsters he expected to drop from the sky at any moment." "She walked home." "Six miles." "When Mr Manulis called for a date the next week she told my mother to say she couldn't see him." "She had married a Martian." "Now earlier, I promised some inside stories about the stars." "Here's a little something that actually happened one night with Roger and Irene." " Everyone's here tonight, svveetheart." " Isn't that Richard?" "Oh, Richard?" "We savv that shovv at the Morosco." "You're right, it's terrific." "Thank you." "I thought I savv Ernest Hemingvvay at the bar." "Well, I heard he vvas in tovvn, angel, yes." " Cigars?" "Cigarettes?" " l'll have some Camels." "Oh, hello, Mr Daly." "Where have you been?" "!" "I can never get hold of you." " I told you it vvas over." " Please don't say that!" "Listen, you call me all hours!" "I meet..." "I meet you in hotel rooms, in the back of cars, in stalled elevators..." " You're gonna lose your respect for me." " Please, don't be unreasonable." "Cigars?" "Cigarettes?" "Cigar, please." "Thank you very much." "Sally, you can't break it off novv." "I'm in love vvith you." "Yeah." "If you loved me, you'd leave your vvife and marry me." "I can't." "Our ratings are too high." "Hi, Roger." "Lucky Strikes, please." "Tico, Tico!" "Brrrrrrrr!" "(sings in Portuguese)" "I look at you and I'm aflame vvith longing." "Oh, vvhat am I gonna do?" "I'm a single girl." "I vvant you, Sally." "I..." "I crave you." "I spoke to the head of the agency about you." "He vvants to meet you." "Really?" "I told him you vvere the most promising young actress I'd seen in years." " But you've never even seen me act." " I've got great intuition." "I care so much about you." "I've just got to have you, Sally." "I'm..." "I'm exploding vvith desire." "Well, I..." "We can't do it novv." "I'm vvorking my shift." "There must be somevvhere vve can be alone for a fevv minutes." "I'd be takin' a real chance." "I told my vvife I vvas going to have a drink vvith Richard Rodgers." "You knovv, vve alvvays table-hop for a long time." "Let me think." "So, as the story goes, Roger and Sally set out to find a secluded trysting place while Roger's wife Irene spent her time drinking and hobnobbing with society's most interesting and exotic Latin playboy." "I..." "I think it's probably pretty safe up here." "Listen, I only got a ten-minute break." "Come here, baby." " He vvants to meet me?" " Who?" " The head of the agency." " Yeah, yeah, definitely." "Yeah." "Oh, vvait..." " Can you take this off?" " Yeah, sure." " You tell him I could sing?" " Sure." "Like a..." "like a nightingale." " You told him that?" " Yeah." " Promise?" " Oh, yeah!" "Yeah!" "Boy, that vvas fast!" "It probably helped I had the hiccups." "I've got to get back to the table." "Sally, this door's locked." " It is?" " It's locked from the inside!" " Oh, no..." "What are vve gonna do?" " The trick is not to panic." " There's no other vvay dovvn!" " Well, vve'll have to climb dovvn." "I can't climb dovvn the building!" "What do you think I am?" "!" " Didn't you knovv it locks from the inside?" " No!" "I never actually came up here vvith anybody but you." "Oh, my God!" "What a predicament!" "And that's exactly how it happened." "No matter how hard they tried, Roger and Sally could not get back in." "Legend has it an electrical storm broke out and that he was struck by lightning and had to miss his show for a month." "Another version of the story I heard said that Irene came up to the roof with the same intention as her husband, and that Sally got fired." "The other three were so sophisticated they all spent the weekend in the same hotel suite in Havana." "(dance music from radio)" " It's terrible." "They have no respect!" " They should be throvvn out." " It's a disgrace!" " My nerves are on edge from hunger." "You think they fast?" "They don't care about the High Holidays." " Grandma can't stand the radio next door." " Oh, it's avvful!" "It's just avvful!" "Wait, I don't understand." "I thought you're allovved to turn it on." "No." "For 24 hours you're supposed to do nothing." "Not even turn on a light svvitch." "Just sit and fast and pray and atone for your sins." " Well, hovv come they're not?" " They're Communists!" " They don't believe in religion." " Abe, go speak to them." "Me?" "!" "I'd like to burn their house dovvn, but I'm not allovved to light matches today." "At least they should do it out of respect for the neighbours." "They're Jevvish, but they don't believe in God, just Stalin!" "Well, I'm just gonna go tell 'em a fevv things, that's all." " Hey!" "What the hell are you doin'?" "!" " Can you turn that off?" "We're praying." "Praying?" "You should be vvorking." "Working for the benefit of your fellovv man!" " It is a sin to vvork today!" " It's a sin not to vvork!" "Oh, please!" "Today is the most holy day." "Can't you please turn off the radio?" "(radio continues)" " He's been there over an hour." " Yeah." "Meanvvhile the radio's still on." "Be careful." "The daughter believes in free love." " Why do you say that?" " Hear vvhat happened to Mrs Silverman?" "She couldn't sleep." "She was up one night taking a cup of tea and she heard a car pull up at three in the morning." "So, you know Mrs Silverman." "She always likes to know what's going on." "So she's peeking out her front door, and there's the girl across the street..." "You're not gonna believe this, Ceil." "She gives the guy a big, long kiss!" "Well, you can imagine how Rose Silverman reacted." "She had a stroke on the spot." "Her arteries hardened." "The woman remained frozen, the teacup on the way to her mouth." "They never saw anything like it at the hospital." "I'm telling you, Ceil, she vvas as stiff as a board." " I'm home." " Abe, they're still carrying' on!" " What'd you do there for over an hour?" " I talked." "Or rather I listened." " Hey, you didn't eat?" "!" " I did eat." " Abe, vve're fasting!" " They're right!" "It's silly!" " Oh, my God, Abe!" " I should fast to atone for my sins?" "What are my sins?" "Who did I bother?" "The only sin is the exploitation of the vvorker by the bosses." "Did the daughter get hold of you?" "See, the problem is not betvveen man and some imaginary superbeing it's betvveen man and the ovvners of 90% of the vvorld's vvealth." "What do you mean, "some imaginary superbeing"?" "You don't believe in God?" "Religion is the opium of the masses." " Abe, God vvill punish you!" " No." "God is not interested in... in me." "He..." " What's the matter?" " Uh..." "Abe?" " Chest pains." " Abe, really?" " Abe, are you all right?" " I can't breathe." " Just relax." "Just relax." " Breathe out slovvly." " Abe, I told you God vvould punish you." " l'll get the doctor's number." "Maybe it's indigestion." "What did you eat there?" " Uh, some pork chops..." " Pork chops?" "!" "And some clams." "And chocolate pudding." " Abe, hovv could you do this?" "!" " And French fries." "You vvon't eat my French fries, but you eat the commies' French fries?" "!" " I'm gonna get him some bicarbonate." " He deserves an enema!" " Oh, Ceil!" " Yeah, right!" "Hello, sports fans, and vvelcome to Bill Kern's Favourite Sports Legends." "Now in my family, each person had his own favourite show." "For instance, my Uncle Abe was a great sports fan and he always listened to Bill Kern." "(radio) Today's story is about a baseball player." "His name was Kirby Kyle, a lean southpaw from Tennessee." "He played for the old St Louis Cardinals." "He threvv fast, and he had a good curve ball, and all the hitters knevv it." "He vvas a kid vvith a great future." "But one day he vvent hunting." "He loved to hunt, just like his father and his father's father." "Chasing a rabbit, he stumbled and his rifle went off." "(gunshot)" "The bullet entered his leg." "Tvvo days later, it vvas amputated." "They said he vvould never pitch again." "But the next season he was back." "He had one leg, but he had something more important." "He had... heart." "The following winter, another accident cost Kirby Kyle an arm." "Fortunately, not his pitching arm." "He had one leg and one arm but more than that... he had heart." "The next winter, going after duck, his gun misfired." "(gunshot)" "He was blind." "But he had instinct as to where to throw the baseball." "Instinct... and heart." "The follovving year, Kirby Kyle vvas run over by a truck and killed." "The follovving season he vvon 18 games in the big league in the sky." "(music)" "This has been Bill Kern vvith another favourite sports legend." "While Uncle Abe loved the Bill Kern sports show his wife Ceil adored a very prominent ventriloquist and this always used to drive Abe crazy." "He's a ventriloquist on the radio!" "Hovv do you knovv he's not movin' his lips?" "Who cares?" "Leave me alone. (guffaws)" "(musical intro)" "Ceil and Abe's daughter Ruthie had her own favourite programme." "Naturally it was one of those romantic boy crooners." "She and her girlfriends used to sit and swoon endlessly over the sentimental lyrics and velvety voice." "The local boys, of course, were all a little jealous and they used to look on disgustedly, thinking the girls were real jerks." "And novv, ladies and gentlemen, the makers of General Sparkplugs bring you The Court of Human Emotions vvith vvorld-famous counsellor on affairs of the human heart Thomas Abercrombie." "And novv, my friends..." "My mother and father loved the show where people were helped with personal problems." "Six years ago his mother came to live vvith us, and he vvon't throvv her out!" " Hovv can I throvv my ovvn mother out?" "!" " Grab her by the throat and throvv her out!" " Oh, just like that?" " Yes!" "She has to go out in the street!" " Why don't you just stick a knife in here?" "!" " I'm not sticking a knife anyvvhere!" " Throvv my mother out!" " You take a knife!" "I found the show silly." "I'd imagine my parents on it, airing their standard complaints." "He never finishes vvhat he starts." "We're forced to live vvith my relatives - thank God for them!" " And I could have married Sam Slotkin." " Sam Slotkin's dead." " But vvhile he vvas alive he vvas vvorking!" " She'd be lost vvithout her family." "And you should see 'em." "They're like the Huns!" "If I'd married a more encouraging vvoman..." " So vvho do you think is right?" " I think you both deserve each other." " What does that mean?" " We didn't come here to be insulted." "I love him, but vvhat did I do to deserve him?" "Naturally, my folks never were on the Mr Abercrombie programme." "In fact, the only radio celebrity any of us ever really met in person was the 14-year-old mathematical genius of a quiz show my father loved called "The Whiz Kids"." "Hey, Tess." "That's one of the kids from the radio." "It's a Whiz Kid." "(whispers) Hey, Joe, it's one of the Whiz Kids from the radio." "Hey, excuse me?" "Uh, pardon me?" "We really enjoy your son on the radio." "You're a real genius." "Yes." "I have a 160 IQ, and that is extraordinary, by any standards." "And this is our son." "Say hello." " Hi." " Charmed to make your acquaintance." "Although perhaps "charmed" is really overstating it." " Your son is a vvhiz at math." " Quick, vvhat's 1754 into 13 million?" "Martin!" "This palooka can't even pass a simple arithmetic exam!" "And novv, if you'll excuse us..." "Boy, vvhat a kid." "So vvell spoken." "Why can't you be like that?" "Why can't you be a genius?" "!" "I'll tell you vvhy: because you're too busy listening to the radio!" "Put your hat on!" "Put his hat on." "Honest to goodness!" "Aunt Bea listened almost exclusively to music." "Because of her, I grew up hearing the most wonderful songs." "There are certain songs that, no matter where I am the minute I hear them I get instant memory flashes." "For instance, every time I hear this song I think of Evelyn Goorwitz who I had a crush on, but who didn't like me." "I remember her pretty girlfriend treated me like I had the plague." "But eventually persistence won out and I did break down her resistance." "I can never hear this song without recalling my parents' anniversary." "It was the only time I ever saw them kiss." "It was a very wonderful memory." "Now when this song was popular, I remember a strange little event." "My friend Andrew and I built a snowman outside the school." "He supplemented its anatomy with a particular vegetable." "(Latin music)" "Another song we listened to was by Carmen Miranda." "I can only think of my cousin Ruthie and how much she loved it." ""Mairzy Doats"." "I remember when I first heard that song." "I always associate its popularity with a bizarre incident when Mr Zipsky, normally a very quiet man had a nervous breakdown and ran amok through the shopping district." "My most vivid memory connected with an old radio song I associate with the time Aunt Bea and her then-boyfriend Chester took me into New York to the movies." "It was the first time I'd ever seen the Radio City Music Hall and it was like entering heaven." "I just never saw anything so beautiful in my life." " (thunder)" " Ahh!" "Lightning!" "Now remember Sally the cigarette girl?" "Well, I wanna come back to her now because there are some great radio stories associated with Sally." "She was one of those characters that are always around when things happen." "Plus, she eventually became the star of Aunt Ceil's favourite show." "But that's later." "Right now we find her struggling a coat-check girl in a nightclub run by a mobster." "It's after hours." "Oh, my God!" "You killed Mr Davis!" " I savv you shoot him!" " (gun empty)" "Help!" "Oh, my God!" "Help!" "(screams)" "(screams)" " Where are you taking me?" " Shut up." "You're gettin' yours." "(Sally sobs) lt's nothin' personal." "It's just bad luck you vvere a vvitness." "My vvhole life, I had bad luck." "Me too." " Where are you from?" " Brooklyn." "Yeah?" "Me too." " Whereabouts?" " Canarsie." " Me too!" " Yeah?" " 85th Street." " I vvas 86th Street." "No kiddin'?" "You must knovv Joey's Clam House." "I ate there all the time." "This is a coincidence." "I meet nobody from the old neighbourhood in years I finally do, and I gotta kill her." "You vvere Freddie White's daughter, huh?" "I remember you vvhen you had little pigtails and braces on your teeth." "You vvere the cutest little girl in the neighbourhood." "Here you are." "You need bullets too?" " Here." " Grazie, mamma, grazie." "Honey, you said you enjoyed the peppers." "Yeah." "They're delicious." "Eat some more of these, because you said you enjoyed them very, very much." "Thank you." " Where you gonna dump her body?" " In Jersey, Mama." "Four in the morning, you vvanna dump her body in Jersey?" "!" "Dump her in Red Hook!" "Svveetheart, look, these shrimps are nice and fresh." "I made them today." "Listen, I ain't gonna squeal, honest!" "I can keep a secret." "I knovv everything about everybody on Broadvvay!" "Really." "Places I vvork, I got secrets on everybody." "Think I go around talkin'?" " But vvhat do you do?" " She sings, Mama." " Oh, yeah?" "That's nice." " I can act too." "I'd just do anything to get on radio." "I'd be happy to give the vveather report, or intervievv people..." "I think I'm a natural." "I'm a great dancer." " But you can't dance on radio." " I knovv." "Cos they can't see you!" "Oh, Madonna mia!" "(speaks Italian)" "Wait." "Come here, Rocco." "I got to tell you something." "You come over here vvith me." "Viene, viene, Rocco." "Listen to me." "You don't have to vvorry about that girl." "She's not too fast up here." "She vvouldn't make no trouble." "I feel sorry for her." "She vvants to get into radio so badly." "I think some men take advantage." "She's so pretty." "Listen to me." "Then your cousin Angelo could help her." "Yes, because he knovvs everybody on radio." "He could get her any little part, because they ovve him this favour." "All right, now they not only decide not to bump Sally off but they get a relative to ask an unrefusable favour on her behalf." "I don't know if people were bribed or threatened but she suddenly found herself with a big acting part on a very serious dramatic radio show that was doing Chekhov." "Now the payoff to the story." "The country never got to hear her act." "At the last minute fate stepped in." "The Japanese have bombed Pearl Harbor." "This morning a surprise attack vvas made, vvith enormous casualties to the US." "We are pre-empting this shovv to bring you a special report and a statement from the president of the United States." "Aren't vve gonna do the shovv?" "What do vve do, come back Monday?" "Who is Pearl Harbor?" "In one terrible moment, world events came between the public and Sally White." "And suddenly the nation was at war." "And lives changed." "And Sally, like everyone else, found herself doing her bit." "(applause)" "My friends and I, acting on advice from the radio G-man Biff Baxter collected scrap iron every day after school." "Our local soda jerk, Rita, joined the WACs and looked good in uniform." "And Mrs Riley had a victory garden in her flowerpots." "On the radio, stories changed." "Now the Japanese and Germans were the villains." "(radio) OK, you Axis rats!" "I know you got submarines sneaking around our coast!" " Ve have no submarines." " Yes, you do!" "U-boats and airplanes!" "But vve Americans are alvvays on the lookout, alvvays alert!" "Take that!" "(fight noises)" "OK, I think you've learned your lesson." "One American vvith courage is vvorth 20 of you!" "Come along." "Uncle Sam knovvs vvhat to do vvith Axis rats." "My friends and I hung on Biff Baxter's every word." "When he said to watch for enemy planes and submarines lurking off the coast our parents laughed." "But we took it seriously." "Remember, if vve see any German planes, I do have a number to call, OK?" "Oh, look at that." " Hey, look, there's one!" " No, no, that's one of ours." "I don't think the Germans can get over here so easy." "They can!" "The Masked Avenger says they're vvorking on rockets!" "Hey, look, a Japanese bomber!" " Let me see!" " Get off." "Hey, vvovv!" "Look in that vvindovv!" " Let me see!" "Let me see!" " What do you see?" "Jesus, vvhat legs!" "Hey, it's my turn!" "Oh, God, I can hardly breathe!" "Later that afternoon we all walked down to the water's edge." "The talk had shifted away from Nazis to more important matters." " Boy, she vvas pretty." " She vvas nothin' special." "She vvas all right." "But my favourite is Rita Hayvvorth." " I like Betty Grable." " I like Dana Andrevvs." " You kidding?" "Dana Andrevvs is a man." " She is?" " Didn't you ever see Crash Dive?" " With a name like Dana?" " Say, guys, vvanna look for planes?" " I'm going home." "I'll come vvith you." "Let's go listen to the radio." "I didn't care if the guys went home." "I was in a funny mood that afternoon." "I just stood there, looking out at the Atlantic." "My mind was thinking about life, and women, and a million different things." "And then suddenly I saw it." "It was just like Biff Baxter described it." "It came up and went under so mysteriously and silently that I couldn't believe my eyes." "I never told anyone about it afterward because I doubted my own experience." "Besides, I knew that no one would believe me." "No one except..." "Biff Baxter." "(Tess) What are you doin'?" "I'm outta nylons." "But lots of girls paint them on novv." " Better hope it doesn't rain." " Oh, right." " Oh, I really think this could be the one." " I hope so." "He's so good-looking, he's good-natured, he has his ovvn business..." "And his fiancée died last year, so he's obviously marriage-minded." "Hovv come he's not in the army?" "He has flat feet." "But that's his only dravvback." "You really think you could love a man vvith fallen arches?" "I knovv, you think I'm too demanding." "I do." "You have these qualities you demand and vvhen you meet a nice man you disqualify him for the smallest fault." " That's not true." " So vvhat vvas vvrong vvith Nat Bernstein?" "He vvore vvhite socks vvith a tuxedo." "That's not a good enough reason." "Then vvhen you fall in love there's alvvays something vvrong vvith him." "You knovv, they all seem fine." "I don't knovv." "You got this sixth sense for picking losers." "Sometimes I vvonder, do you really vvanna get married?" "More than anything." "Don't you think I vvanna have a child before it's too late?" "God, hovv I envy you." "I just vvant it to be perfect." "It's never perfect." "If you vvait for perfect, you don't get pregnant you vvind up vvith your teeth in a glass of vvater." "Easy for you to say." "I compromised vvhen I picked Martin." "I mean, I vvanted someone tall and handsome and rich..." " Three out of three, I gave up." " I think you did right to compromise." "Why?" "You don't think I could've done better than Martin?" "I knovv." "You could've married Sam Slotkin." "So vvhy didn't you?" "Oh, Sam Slotkin vvas a mortician." "He alvvays smelled from formaldehyde." "And don't think that Martin didn't compromise vvith me." "He alvvays dreamed of being a business tycoon, having a beautiful blonde vvife..." "I tell him the day he becomes a tycoon I'll dye my hair." "Well, at least you have each other." "That's all I vvant, someone." "So you have to lovver your standards a little." "You knovv, marrying for love is a very recent idea." "In the old country, they didn't marry for love." "A man married a vvoman because he needed an extra mule." "But you're the one that listens to all the romantic soap operas." "Well, I like to daydream." "But I have my tvvo feet firmly planted on my husband." "First vve'll go to the movie, then eat, then maybe I'll ask him back here." "Although I don't vvanna seem too forvvard." " Hey, you really like this guy, huh?" " Oh, I like him so much." "We'll say a prayer for you." "And then maybe this time next year you'll look like me." "You knovv vvhat I vvas thinkin', Tess?" "I could learn engraving, buy a machine." " Not another get-rich scheme!" " I could make a fevv dollars engraving." "Let me tell you the beauty part." "When you engrave gold rings and lockets vvhat you cut out vvhen you make the letters falls on the table." "It's gold dust." " Forget it." "It'll be like all the other ideas." " Gold dust, and the engraver ovvns it!" "Hold my vvool." " If it's a girl, vve could name it Lola." " Lola?" "You vvant her to be a stripper?" " And if it's a boy, Lionel?" " No son of mine vvill be named Lionel." " I vvant an L name, after my Uncle Louie." " Your Uncle Louie." "Hovv about "louse"?" "(radio) The news is not good tonight." "Reports are that Nazi tank divisions are pushing American infantrymen back in furious armoured warfare." "Meanwhile, Japanese have taken control of two more islands in the Philippines and are advancing on American... (changes station) ...John Jenkins broadcasting from London." "The bombs are falling even as we speak." "(changes station)" "The morale of the boys is good here at Guadalcanal, despite heavy losses." "What do you think, Martin?" "You think Hitler's gonna vvin?" "(Martin) I vvonder about the vvisdom of bringing nevv life into the vvorld." " (knock at door) - (warden) Come on, lights out." "Blackout." "Oh, God, another air-raid drill!" "Betvveen the Nazis and the Communists, give me those reds!" "(Ceil) Stick to your fish." "What do they vvant, those Nazis?" "To slaughter everyone on the planet?" "The Nazis, the Communists..." "The vvorld vvould be better off vvithout any of 'em." "You knovv vvhat WC Fields said?" "To settle a vvar, the leaders involved should meet in a stadium and fight it out vvith socks filled vvith horse manure." "(warden) Hey, put that light out." "(Tess) Wake him up to see the searchlights." "No, no." "Let him sleep." "He's got school." "(Tess) lt's so beautiful." "What a vvorld." "It could be so vvonderful if it vvasn't for certain people." "Later that night I vvas awakened." "By the sound of our radio in the kitchen." "(soft music)" " I had a very nice time." " Yes, it vvas vvonderful." "It vvas such a clear night out." "You could see all the stars." " I think I should be going." " Oh, don't go." "It's not late." "I have to drive back to the Bronx." "Fred... you must knovv I have a little crush on you." "Please, Bea." "What is it?" "What's vvrong?" "Nothing." "It's just that I..." "I..." "What's vvrong?" "ls it still your fiancée?" "It's been such a long period of grief." "It's not fair to you." "I knovv." "I knovv." "It's just that every time I hear that song on the radio my memory goes back to Leonard." "That vvas our song." "Leonard?" "My beloved." "You never said your fiancé's name vvas Leonard." "Hovv could I?" "I see." "Well... just calm yourself." "Would you like a drink?" "No." "Just relax." "It's a nice song." "You guys, shut up!" "The principal's coming!" "Sit dovvn!" "Good morning, class." "I'd like you to knovv that your regular teacher Mrs Nash is ill today and you vvill have a substitute teacher." "Novv, novv." "Children, children, please, be quiet." "No noise." "I vvant you to be very good today." "I vvant you to be on your very best behaviour." "Miss Gordon, vvould you please come in?" "They're all yours." "OK, class, vve're going to begin today..." "Well, first let me tell you vvhat my name is." "I'm Miss Gordon." "Oh, God, vve're all goin' straight to hell." "I conclude the Miss Gordon episode with just one observation." "For some miraculous reason, it's a wonderful feeling having a teacher you've seen dance naked in front of a mirror." "But that's how it happened." "I want to take a minute to tell you how Sally wound up." "Because it's one of the radio legends of the time." "No, no, more feeling!" "It has no inner life." "We need the name of the product to be enunciated a little more clearly." "I'll deal vvith the performers." "(man) Cut the phrase "X marks the spot"." "People vvill be reminded of Ex-Lax." " You're being too touchy." " Why take the chance?" " Let's run it again, Sally." " Three, four..." "Well, vvhat..." "What should I be thinking inside?" " Think laxative." " Think soothing relief." "Please, I'll give her her motivation." "Laxative, darling." "You crave one." " Try again." " Three, four..." "It's not the commercial." "It's the girl." "She has no flair for it." " She's the best to audition." " What do you think, Mr Monroe?" "I think she's correct to represent my laxative." "She's fresh, her voice is natural, and she does it simply." " Definitely." " What do you think, Doris?" " I don't like her." " Get rid of her." "Sally hung around Broadway and tried to break into broadcasting." "But the only roles she ever seemed to get were in the bedroom." "Then one day, as she'd later tell her biographer the voice of God told her to take diction lessons, and her whole life changed." "Hark." "I hear the cannons roar." "Is it the king approaching?" "(English accent) Hark, I hear the cannons roar." "Is it the king approaching?" "(Middle Eastern accent) Hark, I hear the cannons roar." "Is it the king approaching?" "Hark, I heat the cannons roar." "Is it the king approaching?" "No, no, no." "The cannons roar." "The cannons roar." "The cannons roar." "Hark, I hear the cannons roar." "Is it the king approaching?" "Sally practised faithfully every day for many months." "Her natural speech was a great obstacle to get over." "Yet through diligence and perseverance plus a special, intimate knowledge of many Broadway personalities it was only a question of time before she emerged a full-blown star." "Ahh..." "And novv, the makers of Lady Lydia Facial Cream bring you Sally White and her Gay White Way." "(clipped accent) Good evening, and cheers to you all out there." "My first exclusive." "Clark Gable vvas in tovvn this vveek, in uniform." "And vvhere did he go?" "To El Morocco, naturally." "That brunette on his arm vvas Lolly Hayes, an up-and-coming starlet." "Hope you had fun, Clark." "And didn't Rita Hayworth look stunning last night at the Copacabana?" "Oh, Abe, hovv come you never take me to the Copacabana or El Morocco?" " Take the gas pipe." " You'd be happier vvith Rita Hayvvorth?" "You gotta ask?" "Those shovv-business celebrities get divorced every six vveeks." " But vve're together for ever." " I may take the gas pipe." "Just once I'd like to eat at the Stork Club." "They don't take Jevvs in the Stork Club." "No Jevvs, no coloured." "Abe, this is the United States of America." "Yeah?" "Try taking Minnie's maid Cleopatra to the Stork Club - you'd get kerb service." "(reception breaks up)" " Don't hit it, Abe." "You'll break it." " I knovv vvhat I'm doing!" "Naturally, he did break it." "He sent it out to be repaired, and a week later I was sent to pick it up." "My parents told me that, since it was so heavy, I could take it home by taxi." "But I had a brilliant plan." "I figured if I carried it, I could keep the cab fare." "The first half mile was barely manageable." "Pretty soon I realised I'd have to give in and that I was not gonna save any money." "Thanks." "You?" "!" "I'm helpin' out a friend, you knovv." "Come on, get in." "That's how I found out what my father did for a living." "For some strange reason, he was ashamed of it." "Even then he didn't admit it." "It didn't bother me one bit though." "I loved him." "In fact, I gave him the biggest tip he got all day." "Jimson's Coffee is having a slogan contest." "You vvrite it in to their radio shovv and vvin a refrigerator." " Fraud!" " What's a good slogan?" "Wait, I got one." "Hovv about "A coffee vvith oomph"?" " That's terrible." " Oh, yeah?" "What's your idea, big shot?" ""Good to the last drop"?" " That's Maxvvell House." "Come on." " I knevv I'd heard it." ""lt vvon't keep you avvake, it vvill keep you happy."" " That's not bad." " It's catchy, right?" " Hoo!" "Hoo!" " What?" "What?" "This is it!" "Hey, Ceil!" "All right, easy, easy, easy." "Novv put your arm around me." "Put your arm around me." "Nice and easy." "Ceil, this is it." "This is it." " I'm so excited!" "A baby!" "I can't vvait!" " I vvant a girl." "You should get a girl." "Abe, isn't this vvonderful?" "You vvant another baby?" "(Martin) Slovv." "Slovv." "Slovv." " You got the bag?" " (Ceil) The suitcase is in the closet." "There you go, honey." "You did a good job." " You did a good job too, Martin." " I did a great job." " Tess, you haven't met Sy yet." " Pleased to meet you, Sy." "My pleasure." "Congratulations." "Oh, and this is my brother-in-lavv Abe." "And Ceil." "We better be going." "We're taking your son into Manhattan." "Oh, great." "That'll be fun." "Sy has a nevv car, and vve'll do some driving..." " Don't lose him, huh?" " We'll take good care of him." "I'll be good, don't vvorry." "Have a good time." "That's nice, Bea." "Thanks a lot." "Don't give 'em any trouble, all right?" " Bye, novv." " Bye." " He's nice." "Nice-lookin'." " He's not bad." "I like him." "Why is she vvasting her time vvith him?" "He's married." " Really?" " He's supposed to be getting out of it but you knovv hovv tight some vvomen hold on." " Tell me about it!" " Well, I hope she knovvs vvhat she's doin'." "Martin, are you sure you vvanna call the baby Ellen?" "Sure, vvhy not?" "In memory of your cousin Eddie." " In memory?" "He's not dead yet." " He should be." "(musical interlude)" "Aunt Bea and her boyfriend gave me one of the best days I ever had." "They took me to my first radio show." "And if that wasn't thrill enough, Aunt Bea was chosen as a contestant." " You're from Rockavvay, huh?" " Yes." " And vvhat do you do, Bea?" " I'm a book-keeper." "Oh." "For a minute I thought you said "beekeeper"." "I'd hate to get stung." "Novv, you chose as your topic "fish"." "Hovv'd you get to knovv about fish?" "Well, my brother-in-lavv brings home fish from Sheepshead Bay all the time and after a vvhile you get to identify them." "Ah, that's great." "I get it." "Well, can you tell me vvhat this is?" "Aunt Bea had no trouble." "Years of living with Uncle Abe had turned us all into ichthyologists." "And finally, hovv about this one?" "That's a... a flounder." "No, no, no." "That's a fluke." " You're sure?" " That's a fluke." "Well, this is no fluke!" "You've vvon 50 silver dollars!" "(band plays fanfare)" "Boy, a chemistry set!" "I can't believe it!" "I've alvvays vvanted one of these!" "I can't vvait to get home and open this!" "This is fantastic!" "Bea?" "It vvas a lovely afternoon." "A lovely afternoon." "Gosh, I almost forgot vvhat a fluke looked like." "Good thing I remembered." "This time next vveek vve vvon't have anything hanging over our heads." "I'll be free of all my obligations." " Are you sure, Sy?" " I've only stayed because of the children." "I'm telling you, Bea." "Mark my vvords." "This time next vveek I'll be a free man." "And the most expensive one in the store, too!" "I can't believe this!" "So vvhat are vve gonna do vvith the rest of the money?" "What Aunt Bea did with the rest of the money was treat us all to a Broadway dance palace." "She and Sy seemed very much in love, and she seemed happy." "But it was not to be." "Because after a week, Sy did not leave his wife and children." "Nor did he after two weeks, nor ever." "And as the year came to a close Aunt Bea would soon be back to her old dreams of finding a true love." "Still, on this night no one had any thoughts except what a wonderful time we were all having." "(Tess) Ohh!" "Oh, my God!" "Did you do this?" "I'll kill you!" "When I catch you, I'll kill you!" "Come here!" "Don't you run avvay from me!" " What happened?" " Look vvhat he did to my good coat!" " What?" " He made purple dye and dyed it purple!" "That's the coat I gave you for our anniversary?" "!" " You don't hit him!" "I'll hit him!" " I can hit him!" "You're too easy vvith him. I'll hit him!" "Abe?" "Have you seen Mama's teeth?" "She left 'em in a glass of vvater and she can't find them." "The kids vvere playing' hockey vvith 'em." " Playing hockey vvith Mama's teeth?" "!" " They're about the same size as a puck." "(conga)" "Oh, listen!" "Listen, that's the conga!" "My teacher said you could meet very interesting men in a conga line." "Come on, Ruthie!" "Come on, Ceil!" "(Ruthie) I can do this!" "One, tvvo, three, conga!" "One, tvvo, three, conga!" "(Martin) Come here!" "You're making it vvorse on yourself!" "Come here!" " (Ceil) You can meet men doing this?" " That's vvhat she said." "You're gonna pay for it this time!" "(radio) We interrupt this programme with a special bulletin." "Emergency workers outside Stroudsberg, Pennsylvania are working to remove an eight-year-old girl who has fallen down a well." "Polly Phelps fell down the well while playing with friends and has been lodged at the bottom since twelve noon." "Reports will be coming to you live on the spot where this tense drama is unfolding." "We don't know if the girl is still living although authorities are predicting they will rescue the child within moments." "It's been seven hours, and still vvorkers have not been able to contact or free eight-year-old Polly Phelps." "(shouting)" "Can you hear me?" "Polly?" "Can you hear anything?" "(confused shouting continues)" "Meanvvhile, members of the press are here in abundance." "This field is illuminated by the eerie incandescence of searchlights and flashbulbs." "The anxious parents, Mr and Mrs Phelps, stand by vvaiting hoping for some word, some sign." "We'll continue to broadcast live and bring you details as they unfold." "I'm sure all Americans listening to their radios everywhere are praying for Polly Phelps and the Phelps family." "(shouting)" "Please, God, don't let her die!" "Oh, God..." "The fire department and local emergency squads have been on the job for many hours." "The difficulty seems to be that the well is quite narrow, and the surrounding..." "No, wait..." "Wait..." "It looks like he has something." "He's tugging the rope." "They're raising the rope very, very slovvly." "They seem to be close to a rescue." "Police have her." "Stand by." "We're coming to you live." "Don?" "Don, is..." "Don?" "Oh, God, this is terrible, ladies and gentlemen." "The child... is not alive." "Polly Phelps is dead." "After all the efforts and prayers, the little girl is dead." "This is tragic... just tragic." "We are going to end our broadcast, ladies and gentlemen." "I know that all America shares the grief of the Phelps family." "This has been a sudden, unexpected human tragedy." "(dance music)" "Good evening, and happy Nevv Year." "We're broadcasting live from the King Cole Room vvhere everyone is here to vvelcome in 1944." "I used to vvork in this place." "Novv I'm here vvith, of all people, the Masked Avenger!" "Bevvare, evildoers, vvherever you are!" " Novv vvhere are they?" "Do you see them?" " They're there." "Hello, everybody!" "Listen to that." "Doesn't it sound vvonderful at that nightclub?" " Yeah." "Why aren't vve there, Abe?" " Cos vve're here." "Don't you vvanna hit the hot spots and drink champagne from my slipper?" "I can't take that much liquid." "Besides, only creeps and crazy people go out on Nevv Year's Eve." "Then you should definitely go out." "There are those vvho drink champagne at clubs and us, vvho listen to them drink champagne." "I heard Breakfast with Irene and Roger this morning." "They said they vvere going to the King Cole Room tonight." "Roger and Irene are rich and famous." "They have a radio shovv." "They vvear fancy clothes, they hobnob vvith their celebrity friends they go to all the nightclubs." " What, you think they're happier than us?" " Hovv long do I have to ansvver that?" "What, no date tonight?" "Well, it's OK." "We're all together." "Thank you." "Thank you." " To a vvonderful year." " Lucky Strike, please." "Thank you." "Keep the change." "You knovv, it's not even midnight and I'm drunk." "(old voice) Anyone ever seen the roof of this place?" "(posh voice) lt has the most marvellous vievv of the city." " Hovv do you knovv the roof?" " I vvent up once vvhen I vvorked here." "The circumstances vvere quite different." "Why don't vve go up there and see it?" "Would you like to?" "Come vvith me." "Come on." "What fun!" "Oh, it's freezing up here." "It's just amazing." "Amazing, but it's freezing up here!" "What a crazy idea!" " What vvere you doing up here anyvvay?" " Oh, it's a long story." "Oh, look at the sky." "It's gotten so overcast." "And all the lights." "What a city this is!" "Another year is passing." "I hope 1944 turns out vvell." "They pass so quickly." "Where do they all go?" "So quickly." "And then vve get old." "And vve never knevv vvhat any of it vvas about." "That's right." "I vvonder if future generations vvill ever even hear about us." "It's not likely." "After enough time... everything passes." "I don't care hovv big vve are, or hovv important in their lives." "Six, five, four three, tvvo, one!" "Happy Nevv Year!" "(band plays "Auld Lang Syne")" "Martin, I'm a little scared for the future." "What are you scared about?" "Don't vvorry so much, OK?" " Happy Nevv Year!" " Happy Nevv Year, Bea." " Happy Nevv Year, everybody." " Happy Nevv Year." " What is he doin' up?" " I vvoke him so he vvouldn't forget 1944." "Happy Nevv Year!" "God, I vvish this vvar vvas over!" "There are no single men around!" " Happy Nevv Year!" " Happy Nevv Year." "This year you'll find your true love." "I have a feeling in my bones." "Yes, you vvill." "Oh, you knovv vvhat vve should start the Nevv Year vvith?" "A little red snapper!" "Hey, happy Nevv Year, everybody." "Happy Nevv Year, Martin." "Happy Nevv Year, Tess." "Hey, Pop, happy Nevv Year." "(celebratory car horns below)" "Hey, it's startin' to snovv." "Let's go dovvnstairs." "Bevvare, evildoers, vvherever you are!" "I never forgot that New Year's Eve when Aunt Bea awakened me to watch 1944 come in." "And I've never forgotten any of those people or any of the voices we used to hear on the radio." "Although the truth is, with the passing of each New Year's Eve those voices do seem to grow dimmer and dimmer." "Visiontext Subtitles:" "Michael Callaghan"