"Who are we?" "The Cleaners!" "Who are we?" "The Cleaners!" " And what are we cleaning up?" " Russia!" "Down with Coca Cola!" "LUNA PARK" "Moscovites and visitors to the capital!" "Have some fun, one and all." "Prizes and surprises, are waiting at your beck and call!" "Ah, that one's changed feet!" "Throw him out!" "If you agree, show it!" "Well, then, we'll see about that!" "That one, she's on the other leg!" "She annoys me, let's throw her out!" "Listen, Chief." "Arnold's a guy like us, a Russian." "His grandfather's name was Chernov." "He splits from Pinkoland for the US, he takes the name Schwartz." "It means black, just like Chernov." "Then he finds it's a Jewish name." "I can't be a Jew no more, he says." "Better a nigger than a yid, he says." "I'm sick of that, he says." "So he tacks on nigger." "Which makes him Schwarzenegger." "And there you have it!" "Dig it?" "Hey guys, it's Alyona Georgyevna!" "I had a dream last night." "I was sitting on a rock, and a voice said to me:" ""Do you gaze upon yonder rock?" "It bleeds." ""Great sorrows menace Holy Mother Russia." "I burst into hot tears." "And the voice says: "Weep not."" ""Get thee to the Kaluga region, near Ivanovo." ""Find a clearing there," ""and build a retreat." ""There, you will be saved."" "How will I be saved?" "The voice says, "Thy shelter will be invisible" ""to all but Russian eyes."" "There you are, boys." "There's always hope." "Hurry up!" "Quick, quick, to the showers." "Will you come with me to that retreat?" "You know I will." "Alyona Georgievna, do I get a kiss too?" "We've still got the restaurant job." "Take five boys." "Suits and ties." "Get going." "I get the message." "Come on!" "Bastard!" "Give that back!" "Go sit down!" "Two skewers!" "It's a mistake." "I'm not a Jew." "We don't give a fuck!" "A rat's a rat." "Scum!" "No way!" "You won't get a thing!" "Hey, that burns!" "That's enough." "He's cooked." "I swear that's all there is!" " What's that?" " The safe, but I haven't the key." " You lost it?" " Yes." "Just what I figured." "Hey, Python!" "You gonna be long?" "Get out of here, I'm telling you!" "Bugger off!" "You have no right!" "You have no right!" "Darling, what have they done to you, my baby?" "What's this for?" "Leave me alone!" "Hey, gang!" "French brandy!" "Python, get the safe." "Don't catch cold, gefilte-face." " Another teaspoon." " Fuck off with your spoon!" "We got you!" "Just shut up!" "Come on, kids!" "Grease it good, gefilte-face!" "Asshole!" "We're the Cleaners!" "No one's meaner!" "Follow me." "Python, follow me!" "That Jew bastard lied to you!" "I thought he was out of bread." "That crock of shit!" "Two-timing shopkeeper!" "It was his eyes." "He threw a spell on me!" "His place is bulging with cash." "What's gotten into you?" "It's in the blood." "You stick up for you own kind." "What did you say?" "You heard me right." "My darling half-yid!" "My little wolf cub, my littte rabbit." "Are you smashed?" "Yeah, but it's allowed every once in a while." "Tomorrow I'll be sober, but you'll be the same as before." "A bastard child of Abraham." "What's that look supposed to mean?" "My sweet little wolf cub." "It's a great big secret and no one will ever know!" ".." "It's growing, growing..." "The Jewboy's little nose!" "What are you babbling about?" "Is it true?" "I asked you if it's true!" "Bitch!" "Andrei, Andrei!" "ARCHIVES" "So here you are, shithead." "Leonov Andrei Nikolayevich, born in 1972." "Interesting!" "Free haircut and shave." "Get up, shithead." "Now we're even." "We're going to be pals." "There's a Madam waiting for you downstairs." "Ah, the Madam's really well stacked." "Take a ticket!" "I've got a monthly card." "Bastard!" "Bastard!" "Garbage!" "Scumbag!" "You were a sure bet for five years' hard labor!" "Scum!" "I'll snuff you, you bastard!" "Who is it?" "Who's my father?" "I swear to God, I don't know a thing!" "Nothing!" "I'm sorry." "I'm sorry." "I was just kidding!" "I was smashed!" "Just a female drunk!" "I was kidding!" "Forgive me!" "Forgive me!" "Where are you going?" "You stink of prison!" "I got things to do..." "Okay, get lost!" "You'll be fucked without me!" "And I won't save your ass again!" "Hi, Moonshiner!" "How's the brew coming along?" "The shooter, you got the shooter?" "That's too much for me." "Here's to you!" "It's warm." "The shooter ..." "Where is it?" "Have you lost it?" "I can't do shit with this thing." "Hey, the war ended in '45, Pops!" "Wake up!" "A pistol!" "What's this?" "Go shove 'em up your ass, you and your grenades!" "Get me?" "Your father was rather short, but broad shouldered." "A bit like you." "He was a real ace at his job." "Everyone in his regiment respected him." "One day he had to perform test flights for a new plane." "The Air Marshal showed up." "All the superiors were scared stiff!" "Look at that!" "See how they work?" "And smoking, too?" "You're already blowing smoke out of your ass." "So your father gets up and says," ""Have confidence in me."" "As if to say, "If I fail my mission, exclude me from the Party."" "Know what I mean?" "Nowadays, Andrei, they don't make human material like that anymore." "Just look at what's going on today." "That brand of patriotism is hard to find today." "Pardon the expression, but you only get fuckups who denounce fuckups." "Know what I mean?" "Come on, eat." "Drink." "Anyway, he gives a tremendous hug to his comrade-in-arms," "I mean my sister, that is, your mother." "And he says:" ""Kiss my little Andrei for me." "I'll bring back a toy for my baby boy."" "And that's how we remember your father." "He was a Man." "A real Man." "With a capital M." "Fantastic!" "Great!" "You should go on the stage!" "What shtick!" "Oh shit!" "What's all this circus supposed to mean?" "What it means is that none of that ever happened!" "There was no plane, no Marshal, no Party membership." "That's all a crock of shit!" "The whole story!" "Get the hell out of here!" "In 1972 there was no squadron leader" "Nikolay Leonov in the Soviet Army!" "There's no such name on any list." "We'll discuss this some other time, somewhere else." " Denouncing me to the KGB?" " I might." "Put your toothpick away!" "I know that tune!" "Police!" "Police!" " Who's my father?" " Fuck you!" "Who's my father?" "Huh?" "Not enough for you?" "Want some more?" "Have some!" "Blood!" "You bastard..." "Auntie, Auntie dear!" "What's wrong?" "Wake up!" "Auntie dear, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." "Tell me." "I'm sorry, I'm sorry." "Talk to me." "Am I a Jew, huh?" "Am I a Jew?" "I want to know the truth." "Why was I lied to all these years?" "Why?" "Who am I?" "Who?" "Watch the closing doors." "Next stop:" "Kurskaya." "Your father's the Devil incarnate!" "A monster!" "He was sent to Earth for destruction and revenge." "He crushed your mother without even blinking." "You were spared." "They lied to you so as to make you a true Russian!" "He represents everything we loathe." "He is our mighty enemy." "Satan gave him money, fame and power." "You're too young." "You're too weak to fight him." "Either..." "Either he'll eat you alive..." "Or...?" "Or you'll kill him." "Artist emeritus." "Laureate, Grand National Award" "Professor Nahum Borisovich Heifetz" "Are you from the clinic?" "Tell the head doc there's no urine." "See?" "The bottle's as empty as a pensioner's bed." "You have to come for the urine at the appointed hour." "What is it now?" "I expected you on Friday." "I could have given you urine then!" "A whole barrelful!" "But then, on Sunday, on Sunday, there was a snag." "Come in." "I haven't peed in two days." "Prostatitis is an illness which..." "At first you pee all the time, then you can't pee at all." "You see, I've got prostatitis, acute prostatitis." " Where are you going?" " I'm going somewhere." " People are here for the music." " They can play their own." "To each his own music." "I've got my own." "I'll give it a try." "Sometimes it works." "In the left-hand corner of the ring, the King of Beers." "In the right, the all-time champ, Heifitz's prostate." "Who d'you bet on?" "My money's on the prostate." "I won't offer you any, it's putrid." "Besides, it's medicine too, and there's not much of it." "I thought you were dead." "Why all this sad music?" "It's Uncle Nahum, the person..." "Hello, young man..." "I love most in the world." "Show me how much you love me." "Show me!" "And this is Hassan." "My sponsor." "My little Rockefeller." "What are you drinking?" "What rot!" "Let's go." "Come on, come on." "It's sour." "Come on." "Tell them to stop playing." "Uncle Nahum, I don't recognize you." "Look what we've brought you." "Come on, Hassan!" "He used to be very rich, he had oil wells in Kuweit." "But the Iraqis set fire to them, so now he's poor" "My little pauper!" "Isn't that so?" "He doesn't understand Russian." "Isn't that so?" "Shove it up your ass!" "He thinks he's saying "thank you"!" "The KGB threw us out of the hotel." "He said, "Shove it up your ass," so they refused our baksheesh." " Excuse my language, young man." " He's only from the clinic." "He's here for the urine." "He can have ours." "To see if we've got AIDS, right?" "Sure, you've got AIDS." "But look what he can do." "Go on!" "One, two, three..." "Nahum, we're spending the night here." "Come on, let's play boy scout!" "Let's go." "Excuse us." "Take the suitcase." "We're bagged." "Amsterdam." "Shit!" "Oh boy!" "I must be the last romantic of the Brezhnev era." "Where are the good old days, when I, a modest Soviet citizen, called this horse piss "beer"?" "Did you know Nina Leonova?" "Who?" "Nina?" " Nina who?" " Nina Leonova." "Nina Leonova." "It doesn't ring a bell." "We had barrels full of Ninas." "I put my genius into my life, but only my talent into art." "Nice, eh?" "Oscar Wilde said that." "In 1971, she was a champion artistic gymnast." "Try to remember." "She had blond hair." "A real nymph." "Ah yes, that I remember." "What's wrong with you?" "Get lost!" "Hi, Moonshiner!" "What's happenin'?" "Get lost, I said!" "About my shooter!" "Hold it, Chocolate." "Here's to you!" "The shooter?" "What's that?" "Hey man!" "Motherfucker!" "Open up!" "You promised me a shooter!" "You can't come in." "Go fuck yourself!" "Aren't you still afraid?" "Porsonally I'm not afraid." "But Moscow is so terrifying..." "Hey Granny, where's Nahum?" " He's gone out." "Who are you?" " A friend of his." "Abraham Abrahamovich." " What?" " You're drunk!" "Can't a Russian get drunk in his own country anymore?" "Huh?" "Foreigners don't let us do it anymore." "I don't give a shit about foreigners!" "You dig?" "Did you come here to put me under a microscope?" "Here!" "Go ahead!" "Look at that!" "Ruskies even scare themselves!" "Okay, go ahead and film me!" "Get a good look at me!" "You don't understand a thing." "Bunch of turkeys!" "Nahum!" "Your friend is here!" "I'm the Sheik of Arabee..." "Go stick it up your ass!" "Say, boys, where's Nahum?" "What's the problem, punk?" "Clear out!" "Vanya, give me the bottle back!" "What the hell are you doing?" "Why fork out 25 rubles for some shitty play?" "I don't get it!" "I'm writing about culture under Brezhnev." "I'm interested in all that." "Funny!" "So for you, I'm also a Brezhnevian relic." "Obviously." "Isn't that funny!" "Why are you cleaning that bottle?" "It's imported, there's no deposit." "They take them, I've done it." "Maybe back in Paris but here in Russia it doesn't work..." "Couldn't you make me some breakfast?" "What would you like?" "Oysters, anchovies, pineapple, grouse?" "I haven't drunk kefir in 20 years..." "A glass of kefir." "There's been none since Brezhnev died." " An egg, then." " And where will I find an egg?" "There are none in the martket, nor in the stores." "Shall I lay one for you?" "What are you going on about?" " Just say you have no money!" " Money?" "No, that I've got." "There's the little bastard who's been starving us." "The snotnose who's been making trouble." "Can't hold your liquor...?" "Then don't drink!" "You know who you fought with yesterday, at least?" "They're serious people who come to play at my place." "Because they know that at my place it's peaceful." "Serious people!" "More like serious gangsters." "Listen." "You're a pain in my ass." "God, what a pain in my ass!" "You're an even bigger pain in my ass!" "They're serious people." "Do you know how much you cost me last night?" "500 rubles!" "They left without paying." "Understand?" "No money, no urine." "There's a snag." "I've got money." "Take it." "I know a place where you go straight from breakfast to dinner, and all with champagne." "Lilya, Ivan!" "Where are you?" "We're having an orgy!" "Oh, excuse me." "Excuse me." "Vanya, wait until you're at table before you start eating." "Anyone can get smashed at night." "But to drink in the morning, to toss the whole day out the window..." "Now that takes talent!" "A toast to talent!" "We know all about your talent, Nahum." "A bottle a day keeps the work away." "Bravo!" "See?" "Horrible woman!" "An ex-dissident." "Five years in Siberia..." "Then the Sorbonne." "I thought she'd forgot everything!" "You're joking." "Not at all." "Bravo!" "Listen, young man." "I want to ask you a question." "You're young and strong, right?" "You work in a clinic, lugging other people's urine, like some camel." "Mine, for example..." "Why?" "Drop the damned clinic!" "I don't know..." "Write a novel..." "Start a cooperative." "Or go to Paris, at least!" "Be a free man!" "Throw it tn their faces:" ""Go fuck yourselves!" "I'm free!"" "Are you talking to me?" "Yes, yes." "Cockroaches like you ought to be crushed." "How dare you?" "Get stuffed!" "Cheap little prick!" "Who'd you send me to?" "He's not my father!" "Not your father?" "Want to hear the story of little Alyona?" "I was only 18!" "A composer invited me." "Do you want to know his name?" "Give it a rest." "I understand." "No." "I bought this dress off a friend in the circus." "He was like a God to me!" "In a bathrobe, lying on a bear skin!" "He says: "Sing!"" ""Sing!" And I sang." "I figured if that's how it's done..." "Give it a rest." "What a chump I was!" ""Sing!"" "And I sang, I sang." "What a chump!" "I told myself:" "That's how it's done in the business." "He says: "Get undressed." So I got undressed." "Don't you want to know how I took my dress off?" "Don't you want to know?" "I was a friend of your mother." "He fucked her." "He would pick up young girls." "He'd promise them the moon." "He said he'd make a star of me." "In front of the jury, the bastard declares" "Alyona has no voice, no ear!" "That I sing worse than a public enemy." "So poor little Alyona becomes a fairground clown." "To amuse the crowds." "And then?" "What's a Russian in Russia?" "What's that, a Russian in Russia?" "A clown!" "My eyes began to open up." "I got a list of the jury members..." "They were all Yids and Tatars... two Georgians and only one Russian." "And he was married to an Armenian!" "There's your Russian culture!" "There's your conspiracy!" "The war has begun." "So, you're a soldier, huh, a soldier." "You have to prove what side you're on." "You have to prove..." "Oh, my little wolf cub, my little wolf cub, my little rabbit." "Bring me the old man." "Bring him here to my Luna Park." "You'll bring him, won't you?" "Yes." "I want to look him right in the eyes." "Ecological Association of the Great North" "The picket will be up in front of City Hall at noon sharp." "Give it a rest." "Greetings... brother Slavs!" "What refined and beautiful people!" "Listen, do you have five minutes?" "Because I've got something urgent to do." "For 100,000 rubles." "Please, just 5 minutes." "Three!" "Shall I get down on my knees?" "What do you want?" "Let's dance!" "It's great music!" "Let's see what you've got under that dress." "Fuck off!" "Well then..." "I came to get you." "Pack your bags and exit stage left." "You've got the nerve to come back here?" "Get the hell out of here!" "All sorts of people have been guests of mine." "But nobody ever talked to me like that!" "Get the hell out of here!" "Bastard!" "Dance, everybody!" "This is our Russian rock and roll!" "Our Russian might!" "The inner-city boys wrote this one for you!" "All together now!" "The stones are in flower," "The scumbags in power." "If you got the means, there ain't even beans." "Get off your ass, working class!" "Go and have your kicks" "Make it with the chicks" "Let go of me!" "All rise!" "Here comes the Judge." "Let's see your hands!" "Come on, cut it out!" " Your hands!" " Hands are hands." "They're normal hands." "Now yours." "What d'you do?" "Apprentice locksmith." "Have you all flipped or what?" "You're Russian, a real worker." "And a member of the Cocksuckers International?" "Let the trial begin!" "Silence!" "The Public Prosecutor has the floor." "That means me." "I don't hear you applauding!" "Comrades, I want to make my indictment in the name of the young girls' homes of the textile factories." "That's enough!" "There are thousands of Russian working girls who are pining away." "They've never been screwed in their lives!" "Except maybe, when they go shopping." "They could have children, raise a family." "But there are no men." "Not one!" "These two decadent faggots won't even look at a woman!" "I suggest a punishment." "A ruthless one!" "Let's circumcise them!" "Cut off their balls." "For once and for all!" "The Defense has the floor." "Go on, Strangler." "In the light of perestroika and a certain humanism et cetera, et cetera..." "Ah fuck it." "I can't do this spiel." "Guys..." "I suggest we cut off one ball." "That's enough." "Come on, Mama's baby boy." "I'll tell you which one to cut off." "The left or the right?" "The left." "To sum up... the faggots are condemned to fight each other." "They have to show they still have some manhood left." "That they're not rotten to the bone." "Go on, start!" "Stop!" "Your hand!" "Close your fist." "Not like that!" "Keep your thumb above, so your fist is like a rock." "Give it to him!" " Go on, hit him!" " Like a real prole!" "Wet rag!" "Hit him again!" "Again!" "Hit him!" "Harder!" "Go on!" "He's out for the count!" "You don't get it!" "Who d'you take after?" "Got a father?" "Yes." "We live together." "The whole family:" "grandma... grandpa..." "And he takes eggs to Granny." "And he's looking for his wolf!" "Like Little Red Riding Hood." "Little Red Riding Hood!" "You find that funny?" "Asshole!" "Scram, while you're still in one piece!" "Get lost, the two of you!" "Go on, take off!" "And watch out for AIDS, you Riding Hoods!" "Get off your ass, working class!" "Go and have your kicks" "Make it with the chicks" "Well, well..." " You'll never change!" " Ah, no." "You're still not bad-looking." "You too." "I'm not talking to you, you lout!" " We have to talk." " We have nothing to say!" "You broke two of my bottles!" " Yes, you'll talk to me!" " No, I won't." " Yes, you'll talk to me!" " You said everything there!" " Nina Leonova." " What, Nina Leonova?" " She's my mother." " So what?" "You're my father." " I'm your what?" " You're my father!" "My father!" "My father!" "Old goat!" " I'm your what?" " My father!" "Your father?" "Aah!" "Oh!" "What's the matter?" "I have a heart condition." "It's nothing, nothing." "It'll pass..." "And your mother?" "Nina Leonova, remember her?" " What about her?" " She's dead." " Long ago?" " Very long ago." "And how'd you get by all these years without me?" "I managed!" "There are some decent people around." "You're right." "I'm an old goat." "A real one." "But now that you've found me, everything will be different." "Right?" "Say, where are you taking me?" "To cardiology center 53." "To a hospital?" "A Soviet hospital?" "Never!" "Maybe you can live here, but get treated, never!" " I'm giving you a shot." " I don't need any." "I'm with a close relation." "Sonny!" "See to him!" " Sonny!" " Have a problem?" "You like your nose where it is now?" "Sit down." " Need any?" " Why?" "And the bottles?" "For the milk products." "Come on!" "Hey, where are you going?" "Okay, where are we going?" "What do you mean where?" "I go left, and you go right." "Thanks for the help." "You sure took him down a peg." "Why?" "And Nina Leonova?" "And everything I told you?" "You think I swallowed your yarn about me being your father?" "And the photo?" "The one on your wall." "That was you... and her." "So?" "So it's me and so it's her." "So what about it?" "Ninotchka." "Nahum Borisovich!" "Let him through." "Excuse me." "Nahum Borisovich, your kefir." "Thank you." "Don't look right away." "See that boy standing over there?" " Where?" " In the gray raincoat." "He won't let go of me." "Says he's my son." "Is there a resemblance?" " Spitting image." " Nonsense!" "Did you see that gorilla?" "Nothing in common!" "Dead ringers, I tell ou." "Gorgeous." "An eagle." "Just like you used to be." "What a joy to see the family growing up." "My congratulations!" "Hold on." "I'll clear this up." "Now, you need 6 bottles of kefir." "He likes yoghurt?" "Sure, he'll eat anything." "Let's see the photo." " Drop it." " Why?" "Show me." "Let's see it." "The second from the left?" "The one with the flag." "She was always the flag bearer." "And she carried a torch for me." "What are we waiting for?" "Here's some yoghurt I had put aside!" "Take them!" "For your son!" "And that fat ninny... did you have her too?" "So you noticed, then?" "Like old Karamazov said:" "I had them all, old or ugly." "She was delicious twenty years ago." "And still in love with me." "Like a cat." "And I live as if I were in Paris." "Yoghurt and kefir every morning, with a smile on top." "Now you can buy it there too." "I can't stand kefir." "You don't appreciate the value of milk products." ""A man has made his day If he gets a milkmaid in the hay."" "That was vulgar, my friend, vulgar but true." "Where are we going?" "Somewhere." "I want you to meet my pals." "Really?" "Like when I was young." "We used to get up not knowing how the day would end." "We'd play it totally by ear." "Will your friends wait for us?" "And how!" "We're stopping off someplace first." "It's good." "Turn it on." "Comrades!" "A toast to Filip Timofeyevich." "I give the floor to our dear laureate of the State's Grand Prize, and artist emeritus," "Nahum Borisovich Heifitz!" "Dear Filip Timofoyevich." "For your retirement, we've decided to give you your faithful friend, your work companion of 30 years, this magnificent trolley car." "You can make it your datcha." "And I want to offer you my song." "Remember which one?" "While I Still Live and Breathe." "That's right." "Our only worry" "Our worry is only this:" "That our dear USSR live" "That's all we ask for." "And the snow..." "And the wind" "And the stars pass in the night" "My heart..." "Beckons me." "To te infinite distances." "While I have air to breathe" "While I have eyes to see," "While I have legs to walk," "I'll take the lead." "Dear friends, I want to share my joy with you." "A son has been born to me." "In fact, he was born years ago." "But we've only just got acquainted." "Please give a warm welcome..." "to Andrei Nahumovich..." "Heifitz!" "Let's hear it for him!" "Let's raise our glasses to him!" "Go on, get up!" "Get up!" "Stay seated." "What is it?" "Why the shy act?" "This song is for you." "Congratulations." "Where are you going?" "Where are you going?" "Hold him!" "I love you Life, I do." "I hope you love me too." "What's new there?" "Waiting for us?" "I'll bring him." "Sure, sure." "Ask me something simpler." "He's as stubborn as a mule." "What's he doing?" "Singing songs." "I keep my word." "He'll be at Luna Park tonight." "Well, I gotta go." "Excuse me, please." "I beg you to excuse me!" "Okay, okay." "Don't worry, it's nothing!" "You've played the fool long enough." "We're leaving." "Get lost!" " You only like rock?" " Yes!" "You're booing me?" "Me, who brought jazz to Odessa?" "The little chick's all fried, The little chick's all dried," "The little chick wants to live too." "They caught it, They locked it up!" "Come on, louder!" "Have fun, kiddies!" "It's my day today." "My son came to see me." "My son found me." "More!" "Louder!" "More, more!" "I met a girl" "With crescent-shaped eyes" "A beauty spot on her cheek" "And inviting thighs." "Ah, that girl" "Set me in a whirl" "She broke my heart" "And blew my peace of mind apart." "Dear friends!" "Let me wish your "baby" a happy fifth birthday." "Stay healthy, grow up strong and without prostatitis." "It's embarrassing in your line of work." "Especially in your line of work." "I also have a baby." "Look, this is my son!" "Andrei Nahumovich Heifitz." "Say hello, don't be shy!" "Our chorus is one everyone knows" "And with it the wine flows" "Because our dear friend is here" "Our Andrei Nahumovich Heifitz" "Andrei!" "Andrei!" "Bottoms up!" "Bottoms up!" "Don't you feel well, sir?" "First, not "sir"." "Call me "Dad" and I'll call you "Son"." "Second, we have bread now." "Not loads, of course, but I'm no Ella Fitzgerald." "You mean that you get paid to sing?" ""Man dies for that vile metal."" "What's this?" "My son invites his friends out to dinner..." "And his dad only has 3 rubles?" " Don't bother." " I want you to pay." "I really want it to be you." "Everything we have now we should share." "It'll be tough at first, but we'll get used to it." "Wait!" "Wait!" "I want to get drunk today." "I have the right, with my son." " Yeah, yeah." " Do they sell beer here?" "Beer, vodka, the works." "Great!" "Listen, maybe we can go another time?" " What's with you?" " It's kind of late." "You're lying." "The lie detector." "Why?" "There's nobody there now!" "Liar!" "Liar." "You get one more chance." "So, why?" "Your prostate..." "Liar." "Don't try to trick a trickster." "Amateur!" "I'm a professional, I am!" "You're ashamed of me, aren't you?" "I'm still doing pretty good." "There, that's better." "Let's go." "And stop being anti-semitic about my prostate." "Is it far?" "Because I've got gout too." "No, it's right there." " Wait here for me." " Where are you going?" " I'll tell you later." " Oh, yes?" "My congratulations, Nahum Borisovich." "First, he takes your papers." "Then, your decorations." "Not to mention the keys to the apartment." "You're a smart one, you are." "Cretin!" "What is it, Andrei?" " Throwing all that out?" " Give it to your pals." "Why throw the flag away?" "Look!" "My father's passport." "It's all over." "I'm a Jew." "What do you mean, a Jew?" "Over, why?" "How'd this Jew thing start?" " I'm a Jew!" " We've always fought Jews!" "I'm a Jew." "Understand?" "So I'm a Jew too, is that it?" "I'm a Jew?" "And our Arnold to?" "All Jews?" "Hit me!" "Go on, hit me!" "You can beat Jews!" "Why me?" "Where are you going?" "Wait!" "I'm sorry." "It's all over." "Had a good time?" "The usual." "The usual?" "How could you forget me at that shitty fair?" "First, those anti-semitic mirrors... drove me nuts." "Then, some old cunt locked me up." "I banged and yelled like a lunatic." "It took them a half-hour to get me out." "I'm not Uncle Vanya." "In any case, you haven't read Chekhov." " Come on, let's split!" " I'm not moving." "We'll hail a cab." "You can't hail a cab in Moscow!" "Stop chewing." "We'll take the subway." "I haven't taken it in 30 years!" "I'm not going to start now." "It needs salt, that's all." "Checkmate!" "I'll go on foot." " Alone?" " Why alone?" "There are three of us." "Me, my gout and my prostate." "Bravo!" "Very funny." "You think I'm joking?" "It's only my way of crying." "What's the matter?" " Feel my forehead." " Me?" "Of course, you." "Who else?" "It's cool, you're fine." "Cool?" "Are you a fool?" "Anyone else would call it a fever." "I must have pneumonia." " Pneumonia, is that all?" " Yes." "And what else?" "Go on, go on." "Don't be shy!" "Syphilis, AIDS, cholera... prostatitis." "What'd you catch this time because of me?" "Nahumovich!" "You're indeed the son of Nahum." "Nahumovich." "Nahum Borisovich." " You lost your passport." " Really?" "Thank you." " It's nothing." " Thanks very much." "The pleasure's ours." "Thanks, boys." "Thanks." "Hope... my compass in this life" "Hope... my compass in this life" "I haven't been forgotten." "And how!" "Once upon a time that was a big hit." "Yes, I remember." "Of course they remember you!" "Let me tell you..." "These young people are so pleasant." "And polite." ""Polite"? "These young people"?" "Are you cracked?" "You're being insolent again!" "Why?" " No insolence in my home!" " Okay, okay." "I'm sorry." "They're very fine young people." "Out of sight!" "Really!" "Indeed, they are very polite and extremely pleasant." "No, they're very very fine." " Where are you going?" " Lock both locks." " Why?" " Open to no one!" " Why not?" " Drop it." "Give me your keys." "Here." "Why?" "Later!" "I'll be back in an hour." "That's all." "Get it?" "Did you lock me in or what?" "I'm hungry." "I'll be back in an hour." "Hey Moonshiner!" "Got the shooter?" "Gotta have one, now!" "Leave him, Petro." "You're dismissed." "We'll talk later." "Ah, Petro's borscht." "It's not borscht, it's a poem." "Garlic, Andrei Nikolayevich..." "or is it Andrei Nahumovich?" "You can shove that garlic up your ass, pinhead." "Boris is a hero." "Understand?" "He sacrificed everything for our cause." "Job, family, fortune." "A true Lenin." "Hands off Lenin." "He's easy prey." "I've seen cripples give him a kick." "Some cream, Andrei Nikolayevich?" "Help yourself." "Even the pigeons shit on Lenin." "Why deprive themselves, if everything is permitted?" "We need somebody to let us know... what's going on in this apartment." "The old man adores you." "You're the ideal candidate." "Where's the difficulty in our struggle?" "It's as if the enemy didn't exist." "One sings... another dances, a third writes." "But they're all links in a unique plot." "Preparing our Russia for the yoke of world capitalism." "When the capital arrives, who'll be the master?" "The little people, naturally!" "The Katzmans and the Heifitzes." "Choose your side." "With Russia, or against her." "There's no third way." "You're a soldier, my man." "Just one thing" "If you kill him, or if you even touch him..." " Thank you, My God!" " Your hand!" "I lit a candle for you." "The Antichrist is powerful, but we're stronger!" "The hell with Nahum Borisovich!" "May he spend pleasant days, our venerable ancestor." "It's dated material." "Alyona's all worked up." "It's her romantic nature." "But we've got to keep an eye on that apartment." "Just try and find others as dangerous in Moscow." "It spreads more poison than Chernobyl." "Ahd even you won't have much to do." "Don't get up, Petro." "Work, comrades." "This is our modest little workshop..." "And this is for you." "Do your best." "What's that?" "A microphone?" " Hi!" " Hi!" "Looking at photos?" "Us too, we used to have lots of photos." "Great big albums." "But we lost everything..." "During our moves." "As a kid, I saved up to buy a camera." "A Smena 8." "There used to be a make like that." "It cost 12 rubles." "But I blew it all with buddies, as usual." "No more money, no more camera." "It's wild." "You knew all those hot shots?" "I knew many of them." "And not one is still alive." "While I was joking, they were busy dying." "I was looking for a photo of Nina, but I couldn't find one." "It's an absolute mess!" "I've got a great one in color." "I'll bring it for you." "It's all over." "Except the mess." " We're getting rid of it." " What?" "The mess." "Too late!" "Leave it..." "Let it stay as it is." "Washing floors is very dangerous for a bachelor." "If the girl comes to wash your floors she'll be back the next morning, with her suitcase." "Decency demands that I grab a second mop, and that I get on all fours at your side." "Stop." "We don't know each other." "Let's talk instead." "Hey, that's class!" "Did you compose that?" "Really, no kidding, I like it." "Why write so much trash then?" "For the bread?" "For the bread, for the bread." "Anything for the bread." "I see..." "Little jerk." "Come here... closer." "Here, look." "Have no bread..." "Have no bed." "Have no rent..." "Have no tent." "Say, that's a tune." "See?" "You're composing now." " It tickles." " See, it's fine." "What a pretty tune." "Really, it's got a sound?" "Yes." "You see, you composed." "I composed what?" "Bastard!" "Bastard!" "You pig!" "I hate you!" "Fascist!" "Fuck off!" "Fuck off!" "Get lost!" "Are you nuts?" "What's the matter with you?" " You crazy bitch." " Fascist!" "Stop!" "That's my son!" "Your son?" "Your son?" "Have you gone crazy?" "He's an instigator." "There's a whole gang." "Look!" "See?" "They did that to me on the stairs." "I'll be right back." "It's stuffy in here." "I'll be right back." "Get out." "Get out." "I'll manage." "Get out of here." "Father..." "Father, open up!" "I know you're in there." "Open up, I'm telling you!" "Father!" "Bunch of shit kickers!" "Hear me?" "This is your stool pigeon..." "Andrei Nahumovich Heifitz." "You read me?" "Do you read me?" "So, you killed him anyway." "Hey, wait for me, dickheads!" "I'm on my way." "Just wait for me, okay?" "I won't be long." "Here I come." "Assholes!" "I love you..." "Life, I do," "I hope you love me too" "Cut the crap!" "Everybody!" "To the gym!" "And I dreamed of you at night." "Every time I close my eyes I see you making that speech against me." "Talking about vulgarity." "You hate vulgarity... you Jerusalem blue bloods." "You shattered my life." "Turned me into a clown." "Remember me?" "Look me in the eyes." "Are you having heart pains?" "Still have your medicine on you?" "You won't need it any more." "Look!" "Look!" "I want to see your fear!" "I want to see you afraid!" "Remember..." "little Alyona, who took you for God?" "And, you bastard, you made her take her dress off." "Look!" "Remember?" "You've put on weight." "You should go on a diet." "Still the same joker?" "Farewell, Nahum, farewell." "Now, you'll play the clown." "I have a beautiful death prepared for you." "Farewell, Nahum." " Where's my father?" " Here!" "In the park with Alyona." "Father!" "Father!" "Wagner." "I don't like him." "We'll turn it off." "Have a lot of those pineapples?" "Don't worry, Dad." "It won't take long." "Want to try?" "No, that's enough." "We should split." " Possession of arms." " I got it." "Misappropriation of public funds, and delinquency." "Full up." "No more seats." "Nothing." "Get on, then." "Get on." "What's our destination?" "We'll know soon enough." "Abakan." "Abakan?" "And what will we do in Siberia?" "What do you mean?" "Live." "We'll buy identity cards and get lost." "You can play in a school." "We'll find something to do." "She's cute." "Who is she?" "What d'you mean, who?" "Don't you recognize her?" "How can I recognize someone I've never seen before?" "Never seen before?" "No... never." "It's my mother." "What is it?" "What?" "What is it?" "That's it." "The attendant will kill me." "Sheets, blankets..." "I've just peed on everything." "There goes my prostate!"