"Hurry up!" "These are the headdresses of the queens that have gone before us." "They come from Indian holy ground the jungles of the ancients prairies of the Norwegians and the forests of the mighty Amazons." "The royal crowns of our people." "This is the blood of our people." "The wolf people the alligator people and the moon women from which we gain our strengths to rule all worlds." "Its okay, its just chocolate." "Teensy Melissa Whitman, I declare you Princess Naked As a Jaybird." "Caro Eliza Bennett, I crown you Duchess Soaring Hawk." "Necie Rose Kelleher, I crown you Countess Singing Cloud." "And I, Viviane Joan Abbott, am hereby and forever Queen Dancing Creek." "Wait." "I dont think we should cut ourselves with that knife." "Silence!" "We are the flames of the fires, the whirling of the winds." "We are the waters of the rains and the rivers and the oceans." "We are the rocks and the stones." "And now, by the power invested in me, I declare we are the mighty Ya-Ya priestesses." "Let no man put us under." "Now our blood flows through each other as its done for all eternity." "Loyal forever." "We raise our voices in the words of mumbo gumbo." "Ya-Ya!" "Ya-Ya!" "My mother." "What can I say about my mother?" "Theres nobody like Vivi Abbott Walker." "Shell be the first one to tell you that." "Mom was loaded with charm, looks, the whole package." "But damaged." "Wounded." "The most charming wounded person ever." "Wounded?" "How?" "By the times as much as anything." "She had star quality." "She wanted a bigger life than being a cotton farmers wife with four kids." "I dont know." "Shes just too complex." "She can be alarmingly simple and then, suddenly dark and complicated." "Sidda, is that it?" "We dont want to burn the place down." "Is that it?" "Thats exactly it." "But she danced her way through it." "Everybody smoked too much, drank too much, fought too much." "The women manipulated, the men hid out, huddled in their duck camps waiting for the storm to pass." "And yet, it seems like theyre mostly having fun." "When you saydark, you mean angry?" "Violent?" "No." "Even though she knew how to handle a switch or a belt." "Oh, no!" "They came from thespare the rod, spoil the childphilosophy." "What?" "I owe all my creativity to her." "If my childhood was easy, Id have nothing to write about." "The daughter of a tap-dancing, child-abuser of a mother and a distant, emotionally absent fath..." "Oh, shit!" "Oh, shit, Connor!" "God, this is a disaster." "Its a little harsh." "I didnt mean it that way!" "Calm down." "You dont understand." "Give me a Xanax." "Please." "Opening nights only, babe." "And thats your rule." "All I can say is, I hope this is not a real emergency because I only brought one bottle of vodka." "Vivi?" "Were here!" "I got this." "That ungrateful bitch!" "Whod have thought shed be the one to do me in?" "Here, bebe, take a swallow." "It needs Tabasco." "Oh, my God." "How?" "!" "How could she do it?" "She was supposed to be the good one!" "You know how long I was in labor with her?" "Two hours, not even." "Well, it felt longer!" "Never speak to Time magazine." "That writer probably trumped that up." "Those Yankees like to make us out to be alligator-wrestling bigots." "You should call Sidda, get the facts." "Teensy, since you quit drinking, you dont think." "How can I possibly call somebody who no longer exists?" "Get the phone." "Oh, my God, thats her." "Do not pick up the phone." "Connor, dont pick up the phone!" "Connor, dont!" "Dont do it." "Hello?" "Hello, Connor." "Hello, Vivi, how are you?" "Well, just lovely." "Thank you for asking." "Is she there?" "Why did you do that?" "Shes fine." "Talk to her." "Mama?" "Give it to me!" "Give it to me!" "Sidda, shell have to call you back." "Tell her shes dead!" "Shes dead to me!" "Well, what did she say?" "Im sick and tired of her tantrums and drunken rages!" "I heard the ice in the glass, Mama!" "Sounds of my happy childhood!" "Why do you let her get to you?" "Whats wrong with a nice simple:" "Hi, Mom, love you too, see you later?" "Whats wrong with that?" "With normal people, youd be right!" "But Vivi Walker..." "Whos a grown woman..." "Has never gotten over anything in her privileged, booze-soaked life!" "Shep!" "Shep, come here!" "Oh, my God, shes gonna do it." "What?" "Look, shes gonna marry that boy." "I mean, that man." "One: does that mean you two are speaking?" "And two: how much is it gonna cost me?" "When is it?" "And where is it?" "Dont answer it, its her." "Dont!" "Hello, Vivi!" "Well, hello, Connor." "Did you call to talk to Sidda or to hang up?" "Tell her I received the invitation and all III be sending is my condolences to you." "Ill say to you exactly what Id say to my own mother: grow up." "Same thing goes for you." "Both of you are acting like children." "Did she just hang up on me?" "She hung up on me." "How has your old man hung in there for forty-odd years?" "For one thing, she moved out of the bedroom sometime in the60s so hes had a lot of time to himself." "What, he snores?" "He breathes." "There are some things that are none of our business and we should stay out of it." "But I didnt mean this." "We have an extreme situation here." "And that requires extreme measures." "We cant be afraid to do what we know we have to do." "Ya-Ya." "Ya-Ya!" "Surprise, surprise." "Mamas henchmen." "Connor!" "Come here and meet the Ya-Yas." "You dont seem surprised." "Of course not." "Whenever Mama cant handle something, yall swoop in." "Im Connor McGill." "Im pleased to meet you." "Im Caro." "This is Teensy." "Hello." "And I am Necie." "Necie." "Youre a very nice-Iooking young man." "Thank you." "Of course Im just talking about looks here, but you look just fine." "Thank you." "Please." "Now, before yall start, I have just one thing to say." "Its not gonna work." "Listen, petit bebe no one on earth understands better than us how crazy your mama is." "We wont dispute that." "Shes mad as a hatter." "That wont change." "Preaching to the choir." "Shes been like that." "Sidda, the very fact that your mama is the way she is, if you really knew its nothing less than a triumph of the will." "Did you saywillorpill?" "Dont take that tone." "You want to get all scrappy, deal with me." "That is just it!" "I dont want to getall scrappy." "Im sick of fighting." "Im sick to death of thiscenter of the universe, holier than thou nothing is ever enough, Oh, how Ive suffered fix me a drink, hand me a Nembutal, worn-out Scarlett OHarathing!" "Shes got her pegged all right." "I am finished!" "Done!" "That is gone with a D!" "Wait." "Did Mama send you?" "Are you out of your mind?" "Shed skin us alive if she knew we were here." "We said we were going to a spa with no alcohol." "Teensy joined the triple-A." "The point is, Sidda..." "Im starving." "We know when were licked." "Let us take you to dinner." "Well get on the first plane in the morning." "No questions asked." "Broadway!" "I just cant get over it." "Your mama is so proud!" "For Gods sake, we said we wouldnt talk about Vivi." "We took a solemn oath, and there you go!" "It was an accident." "Why dont somebody go to the bathroom?" "That always makes the food come." "Ill go." "I need to call Connor anyway." "Wait, what is it?" "I got it from a caddy at the club." "Its aRoofieor something." "He said ltd knock her on her ass!" "No!" "Roofies!" "Thats the date rape drug!" "We cant!" "Shes a teetotaler with these little drinks!" "Then what?" "We cant conk her on the head!" "Give her half." "Shes a Walker, she can take it!" "Here she comes!" "I had to taste it." "Its delish!" "Didnt work." "The food, it didnt come." "It didnt, did it?" "Guess not." "Well heres to Mama." "Long may she rave." "Ya-Ya!" "No!" "No!" "What is wrong with you women?" "!" "Sleeping Beauty is up." "Sleeping tiger." "Ill make coffee." "Ill get the whip." "I have a play in rehearsal, a fiance and a headache!" "We flew you first class." "Doesnt that count for anything?" "No!" "I dont get those underwear up your ass crack." "They dont cover a thing." "I dont get it either." "Listen up this minute." "Im not a child." "Im a grown woman with a life a thousand miles away." "Im going back." "I got coffee." "Good old Louisiana chicory." "What are yall doing?" "A Ya-Ya mission of mercy." "An intervention." "Why me?" "Ive been in therapy for 15 years." "With a professional!" "Shes the one that needs help." "Youre right." "But shes getting old, like all of us." "She is what she is." "But you have a long life ahead of you." "You shouldnt have to spend it angry and resentful." "Im not angry!" "And my only resentment is yall disrupting my life because Mamas pissed!" "All I did was tell the truth!" "Hold on, Im spinning." "Whats that doing here?" "More will be revealed." "Dont you dare tell her we have it." "Theyre not talking, Necie." "Thats why were all out here." "Siddo, kiddo, she doesnt know youre here." "Or that we have the book." "Thats how it should stay." "But there are some things in there that might make a difference in how you feel about Viviane Joan Abbott Walker." "I dont care if she was whacked over the head by leprechauns." "I just want to get out of here!" "You want out?" "That book minus the chip on your shoulder is your ticket back." "Thief." "Cheers, darling." "Cheers." "All right." "Who wants to drown?" "You, Sidda." "You show them how its done!" "Whos in trouble?" "S-l-D-D-A!" "Flail, darling." "Make it look good!" "Say a prayer." "Dear Jesus, we ask that you help Miss Sidda." "Shes going to die!" "Petit darling, you were almost a goner, but I think youll make it!" "That was stellar." "You had me believing there for a minute." "I knew I hadnt lost my touch." "You look good, Willetta." "Look like your old self again." "Dont be talking about old!" "You the one with the birthday around the corner." "Dont be talking about birthdays." "You gonna tell me whats wrong?" "Or do I have to use what brain cells I got left to figure it out?" "Theres nothing wrong." "Really." "Except well, Sidda." "I wasnt a horrible mother, was I?" "This about that Time magazine thing?" "Howd you know about that?" "Mr." "Shep tell Chaney everything." "And Chaney tell me everything." "And I dont tell nobody nothing." "But Im going to tell you something right now." "Sooner or later everybodys bill comes due." "You just got to let the child feel the way she feel." "There aint nothing else to do." "Shit." "Clubs are trump." "Its all trumps." "Oh, my God." "Look at how young yall are." "Oh, my God!" "I would give anything to know then what I know now." "And to still have those thighs." "Im sure theyre still buried in there somewhere." "What in the hell?" "That was when we went to Atlanta for the premiere of Gone With the Wind." "Youre joking." "No." "My Uncle James invited us." "Aunt Louise was a big society hoity-toity in Atlanta." "Oh, Necie." "Oh, my letter." "Necie, where were you?" "My parents didnt think Willetta was a suitable chaperone so I missed the big scene." "But your mama, the budding journalist, wrote to me every day." "All two of them." "Dearest Countess Singing Cloud we arrived in Atlanta after an eternity on the Southern Crescent." "They made Willetta ride in the colored car so we were on our own almost the whole way. "" "Girls, get yourselves on upstairs now." "And for heavens sake, get that maid in a uniform right away." "And get that ugly luggage into the house before somebody thinks we got a bunch of hobos coming to stay." "Know what Mama says?" "She says Uncle James and Aunt Lou are nouveaux riches." "Whats that?" "I dont know." "But its not good." ""But, sugaroo from the looks of this place, nouveau riche is better than no riche." "You never saw so many beautiful things in all your life." "Its like a museum, or even a palace." "Just think." "All this and Im gonna meet Miss Margaret Mitchell and Clark Gable too. "" "I feel like a Paris princess." "What yall doing in that tub?" "How are yall supposed to get clean?" "Get on out of there!" "Look at you, all done up in that uniform." "Ill take a picture and show everyone at home!" "No, you aint." "Now, get your clothes on for fancy dinner." "They got it all done up like theys the king of England." "Isnt this the most magnificent thing?" "I suppose thats what Id be thinking if I was you." "Come on." "Lord, I done died and gone to hell." ""When we went upstairs, our beds were turned down just like in a fancy hotel." "But even though it was the most exciting night of my life I had a feeling things werent going so well for Willetta. "" "Willetta?" "What you doing down here?" "Get yourself back up in that bed." "Why are you crying?" "Because I misses my family." "You miss Maman Delia?" "Child, your gran aint my family." "I got my own gran." "And my own mama and daddy too." "You want to play cards?" "Like at home?" "No, child, I dont want to play no cards." "Then how about some hot chocolate?" "Will you make me some, Willetta?" "Child, if you want hot chocolate, go fix it yourself." "James!" "Why in the world are you wearing that hat in the house?" "Will Miss Mitchell be at the premiere?" "Who knows?" "After the Junior League denied her membership, shes been unpredictable." "Of course, she left us no choice, and shes still steaming." "She brought it on herself with that Apache dance." "Heres your hot chocolate, just like you likes it." "Who told you you could walk your black Louisiana ass into our dining room?" "You got ears, nigger?" "Get on out of here." "Did I hear you right?" "What, yall deaf?" "I heard him loud and clear." "Me too." "Shut your mouth, you prissy-ass little mamas boy!" "Apologize before I send you back to..." "Aunt Lou!" "Let go of her, or III let that ugly halfwit you call Junior have it again!" "Dont you dare!" "Oops, slipped." "Im sorry, Mrs. Whitman." "Im sorry your son is a baboons ass." "Ya-Ya!" "What a wretched woman!" "Shes dead now, Im happy to say." "I never saw my mama so proud as when we stepped off that train." "Buggy, on the other hand, made Vivi do penance for a month." "She thought for sure shed lost her place in heaven." "Worrying about the afterlife is no way to live through this one." "Honey, your Grandma Buggy was about the unhappiest person I think I have ever seen." "And there was something in Vivis very nature that..." "Scared the shit out of her." "She was overwhelmed by Vivis life force." "Nothings changed." "Since your mama came into this world she took up all the space in the room." "Thats my brother, Jack." "I didnt know you had one." "Thats why youre here, bebe, to know what you didnt know." "May I tell you a secret?" "In my prayers I thank God for granting my son his true love at an early age." "Sunflower, will you come and take a walk with me?" "Of course." "You dont wanna be a pilot, you want to impress your father." "Come on, Vivi, I aint doing this just for him." "Theres a war on." "Itd be wrong not to go." "Itd be wrong to leave me here." "You said..." "Im sorry, bebe." "Its already done." "Besides, I gotta do something right for the old man." "Will you come back?" "Of course." "Swear on the Virgin." "I swear." "Swear on your mothers life." "I swear." "Now I want you to make me a promise." "Promise me that when I come home youll be the one I come home to, you understand?" "What if Im away being a big city newspaper woman...?" "You can do anything you set your mind to." "You know that, dont you?" "Im going to miss you." "He made me swear not to till he told you." "You should have warned me." "What did Genevieve say?" "She cried and begged him to change his mind." "Daddy called her unpatriotic." "He gave a speech and made a toast." "Mama swore shed never drink to a son going to war so now Daddys in the doghouse." "Amen." "Theres not a goddamn breeze in Louisiana." "Will someone please wring me out?" "We cannot just sit here and puddle." "Well have to make our own breeze!" "No!" "Dont you do that!" "Oh, my God!" "Do not pull over, Teensy." "I mean it!" "If you cant talk your way out of this one, then I dont know what!" "We are going straight to hell." "Yeah, we went to jail." "I was so proud." "Your mama was a bad influence." "If not for you, our moral fiber wouldve been shredded to rags." "Teensy, smack her for me!" "Kids, am I gonna have to give you a time-out?" "Vivi?" "Yes?" "You all right?" "Im fine." "You need anything?" "No." "All right, then." "I owe all my creativity to her." "If Id had an easy childhood, Id have nothing to write about." "That is the truth, honey." "Why isnt Grandma Buggys name on this invitation?" "Well, that birthday business was ugly." "Your granddaddy had just settled a big case and he wanted to strut his money." "Buggy didnt want to have that dance." "She didnt believe in parties." "And sure as hell didnt believe in celebrating your mama." "He did it just to spite her." "Taylor Abbott treated his horses better than he treated his wife." "And your mama got caught in the crossfire." "Boy, did she ever." "Daddy, is it real?" "Of course its real." "It is?" "I think its the most beautiful thing Ive ever seen in my life." "Mama, its gorgeous." "Did you pick it out?" "Mr. Abbott, that is not a proper gift for a girl." "Thats right." "But its a perfect gift for a young woman." "A beautiful young woman." "Arent you just the luckiest little girl God ever made?" "Why dont you come with me, bebe?" "Hey, good-Iooking." "This ring doesnt compare to the one III get you." "Everybody saw." "The only thing anybody saw is how beautiful you are." "And were not gonna be like them." "All right?" "I swear, honey." "Dont you worry." "Dont you worry." "No!" "Whatever you did to make your father give you this ring is a mortal sin." "May God forgive you." "I didnt do anything!" "He just gave it to me." "I didnt do anything!" "She is sick." "Dont let her get to you." "Dont worry." "Ill steal it back if I have to." "Now do it, Buggy!" "Do it!" "Give the girl the goddamn ring, you pathetic Catholic idiot." "Pick it up." "Daddy!" "You bend down, and you pick up that goddamn ring." "Give me your hand." "Viviane, I gave this ring to you." "Its yours." "Its from me to you." "You understand?" "What do you have to say?" "Making a fool of yourself in front of Vivianes friends?" "You go to sleep, girls." "You okay?" "Yeah, but wow." "How horrible to be so hated by your own mother." "Mamas jealous, competitive and judgmental, but she doesnt hate me." "Not like that." "Oh, wait a minute." "Yes, she does." "Forgot." "Shes trying to hate you, honey." "You delivered her a swift kick in the ego." "Shes just smarting." "I have dreams about this." "Could be Chick." "Its her." "Could be Chick, but its her." "Dont answer it." "Right." "Hello?" "Caught you." "You think you can get away with this?" "I know what youre up to." "Up to?" "Whats that supposed to mean?" "You dont fool me." "Well..." "Were not up to anything." "If we were, it would be none of your business." "Dont poke around." "Youll spoil things." "I dont want a big fuss, thats all." "I dont want candles on my cake." "Itll look like the burning of Atlanta." "When we want your advice, well ask for it." "Got it?" "Big kiss." "She thinks its about her birthday." "Can you believe it?" "Its coming up real soon too." "Couple of days." "No numbers, everybody." "Thats one thing Mom always did real well, the birthday thing." "In the morning, wed have a party, just us." "When Daddy got home, wed do it again." "He could never know about that morning cake, so she always got two." "It was our secret." "Im so glad I had you." "Im gonna call Connor." "You go right ahead." "Well leave you alone." "But well be listening from the kitchen, so talk loud." "Hi." "How did you know it was me?" "Who else?" "How are you feeling?" "A little disoriented." "Horse tranquilizers will do that for you." "I cant believe you let them do this." "They didnt ask." "They called on the way, told me their plan." "I saw you off." "From where?" "I helped them get you on the plane." "Theyre organized." "They even had a note from a doctor." "Your pills are in your bag." "I have a bag?" "In the closet." "Tell Connor we say hello." "Did you hear that?" "Ill tell you one thing, meeting them explains a lot about you." "Such as?" "Let me put it this way." "Youre more normal than you have any right to be." "Whyd you do that?" "Theyll explain it all to you at the Betty." "Im gonna try and bust out tomorrow." "I gotta get back for work." "Dont rush back on my account." "I just said it was for work." "Maybe you ought to fix this thing with your mother once and for all." "Why are you so worried about this?" "Because Im afraid that one day our kids may feel that way about you." "These women may be nuts, but they might know something you dont." "Its not fair bringing kids we dont have into this." "Thats a low blow." "Thats the way I feel." "Stay there." "Deal with it." "You deal with it." "Dont New Yorkers say goodbye?" "Not when theyre on their high horse thinking they know so much." "I hate that." "Especially when theyre right." "Whenever Charlies right, I just ignore him." "Yall ignored him, right or wrong." "Not really." "Like hell we didnt." "Took me 25 years to notice my husband was gay." "They just couldnt keep up with us." "I think we created our own world where we still live happily to this day." "Ya-Ya." "I wonder if Mama would have ignored Jack like Daddy." "No way, pal." "Jack was the love of her life." "The kind you only get once." "What happened?" "How did Daddy wind up in the hot seat?" "Viv." "Vivo." "Come on, we have to go to Teensys house." "No." "Come on." "I knowed something bad was coming." "Just yesterday, I done heared that screech owl." "You killed my baby!" "You killed my baby!" "You drink champagne to his death." "You killed him, sure enough, you killed my baby!" "I dont think I can take any more." "Me neither." "I think I need to go home." "Are you all right to drive?" "Of course I am." "Habit." "See yall tomorrow." "Wasnt all just fun and games." "So I see." "Shall I make a long story short?" "They never found his body." "Not a dog tag, a shoe, nothing." "Genevieve got herself believing for a while that it was all a mistake." "He was still alive, somewhere." "Then she stopped believing, and then the good French lady took her leave." "I knew I shouldve stopped while I was behind." "Poor Teens." "Your mama rallied for her, but the two of them neither of them was ever the same." "I wish you could have known what your mother was like as a girl." "You wouldve loved her." "Not loving her was never the problem." "Her not loving you was never the problem either." "Well, what about Daddy?" "Was she ever in love?" "Or was he around for heavy lifting?" "Your daddy knew Jack." "He said hed rather play second fiddle than not play in the band at all." "He thought he loved her enough for both of them." "Maybe he did." "Does." "Well I gots some work to do at the woodpile, honey." "Lets call it a night, shall we?" "Night." "Smells good." "Now whats wrong, Vivi?" "Im still not Jack?" "Shut up, Shep." "How long you gonna make us suffer something that cant change?" "Fine!" "Gonna feed your children?" "I dont care if you starve." "Hey, kid." "III make dinner, Daddy, okay?" "Thank you." "Ill get the skillet." "Dont touch it." "...one: its quiet, two: theres any room for me!" "What?" "You go out there and drink yourself to sleep!" "You dont lift one finger to help this family!" "I dont?" "Look at my hands!" "I dont want to look at your ugly hands, or you to put them on me!" "Dont worry!" "Drunk as you are all the time, I dont want to be in the house." "Youre disgusting!" "God, I hate you, Shep!" "I hate you!" "Is Daddy gonna kill her?" "Shell kill him first." "Hi." "Why do you answer like that?" "Like what?" "Like you know its me." "But it is you." "I thought about what you said." "I know what you mean." "Your tone makes me think you dont." "Why would my kids feel that way if I wasnt unfit?" "Our kids." "lf I wasnt in some way damaged?" "Thats what youre saying!" "Not even close." "Theres no logic?" "You simply said it to hurt me?" "Youre right." "How can I know?" "So why risk it?" "Know what I mean?" "No." "Why risk doing to my children and you what Mama did to me and Daddy?" "Ask him about his life while youre at it." "At what?" "Figuring out if III ruin the lives of our hypothetical children." "Okay, Sidda?" "No shit?" "Youre scaring me." "Calm down." "Do not start that patronizing Youre crazy now so I wont make any sudden moves till youre finishedthing." "See?" "Youre doing it!" "Okay!" "Uncle!" "Im painted into a corner where nothing I say could be right." "You want to live painted into a corner by an unfit mother?" "No, no, no!" "I never said I wanted that." "Ill make this easy." "Put this whole thing on hold while you figure out how badly III fuck up everybodys life." "Do not send those invitations!" "Siddalee Walker?" "You are on the verge of making a big mistake right now." "Well, so are you." "Only Im not gonna let you." "Did she just call off our god...?" "I dont have the number!" "I dont have the goddamn number!" "Okay." "Vivi." "Hello?" "Vivi?" "This is Connor." "I dont..." "What?" "Emergency, Vivi!" "Do not hang up!" "Oh, my God!" "Oh, no!" "No!" "Not that." "I just need a phone number from you." "My God!" "Dont you ever, ever, ever do that to me again!" "Sorry, I think she just called off our goddamn life." "I dont have the number!" "What are you talking about?" "Shes with those friends of yours, the Yo-yos, or Yee-haws..." "The Ya-Yas?" "Why would she run off with them?" "She didnt run off." "They came here and took her!" "Oh, for Petes sake." "I gotta go." "Yes?" "I dont know if you ruined Siddas life." "But I do know that now youre ruining mine!" "And your phone etiquette sucks!" "He hung up on me." "Oh, what a surprise!" "Look what the backstabbing, traitorous cats dragged in!" "Oh, look who it is!" "All my old ex-friends!" "And the biological fruit of my womb that rotted!" "What?" "Hi, honey!" "Hi!" "Pull over!" "I cant hear you!" "Pull over!" "Pull over, Vivi." "No!" "Pull over, Vivi!" "Fuck off!" "Go ahead, warn them." "Give them time to scatter like rats!" "Oh, my God!" "You are so lucky." "If you put one scratch on my baby, Id have your ass." "I demand that you move this piece of shit out of my way this very instant!" "Who do you think youre talking to?" "I know shes there." "Now what is going on?" "Is betrayal absolutely everywhere?" "Yes." "Your lifelong friends are programming your daughter to destroy you." "Somebody better tell me whats going on." "Vivi, calm down." "Youre just gonna have to trust us!" "If you go there now, youre gonna ruin everybodys life." "What is it with me ruining everybodys life?" "Everybody, Teensy?" "Strangers are saying it now." "What strangers?" "Connor." "He yelled at me." "Shes walked out on their life, whatever that means." "Go!" "Go home." "Now." "Ill knock you into the middle of next week." "Then III kick your sorry ass on Thursday." "Now get in the goddamn car and go home!" "Piece of shit." "Thats ridiculous!" "I dont think thats what he meant." "Listen, kids, we got to slow down or III pop a lung." "Siddo, you come by your flair for drama honestly but you dont call off a wedding and a 7-year relationship based on a phone call." "Especially after the goofballs we had you hopped up on." "Stop!" "I got to rest." "I didnt." "That wasnt why." "Dont you think its fishy were not married yet?" "He started asking the first year." "I always resisted." "Why is that fishy?" "Because!" "Something must be wrong." "Ive hit the snooze button on my biological clock a long time!" "On paper it works out." "You saw him." "Who wouldnt want babies with him?" "Every time I get right down to it, something stops me." "Just stops." "And you dont have any idea why?" "Well, I have an idea why." "What if Im like her, and I get into it, and just..." "What?" "Beat everybody and then run away." "Thats what you think happened?" "What do you mean,think?" "This isnt some recovered memory." "I wish I could forget." "You have Ya-Ya scars." "Thats nothing compared to mine." "If theres one drop of that in me, Im better off alone." "No child should find that out the hard way." "Neither should Connor." "Fine, she didnt want us." "She shouldve stayed gone." "But yall dragged her back here, and she drank until we went away." "Yall should know, since you were mixing the drinks!" "My God, she doesnt know anything, does she?" "Sidda!" "Go get Lulu." "Baylor, get in the car." "We are leaving." "I cant stay in this house one more second!" "I cant stand it!" "I cant!" "Mary!" "Mother of the motherless." "Can you see me?" "Im here!" "Its me again." "I need divine intervention once again." "And here it is." "My oldest daughter, Siddalee, the one Ive been complaining about?" "The loudmouth?" "She may be walking away from true love." "Please stop her." "Dont let her run away." "This is because of me." "She never said it, but I know." "Shes only seen me holding back." "I take full responsibility." "But Id appreciate you keeping that to yourself." "Please pass this on to your Son and his Father." "I will only smoke once a day." "And III only have a drink once a week, I mean, a day." "Ill do the best I can." "If you will just help her out with this one thing III make it up to you somehow." "Daddy." "Hey, butterbean." "Look at you." "You look pretty good for a hostage." "Well, my captors are humane." "Youre holding up pretty well yourself." "Well." "Another fine mess." "Yeah." "The best lesson I ever learned from you was to lay low." "What happened?" "Security has been breached, backups have been called in." "Full-scale Ya-Ya alert." "But the prisoner has been left unattended." "You could bust me out." "I could." "But then wherever we go, wed still be there." "No escape." "More like Stockholm syndrome." "That is you." "What about me?" "Youll end up as the leader." "The inmate takes over the asylum." "What?" "Never mind." "Never mind." "What?" "Why am I being hauled into court?" "Im not the one engaging in acts of treachery." "Thats a matter for some debate." "The jurys still out, pal." "Your kids arent writers." "Theyre not exposing your darkest secrets as entertainment for the masses." "If I knew she would be a writer, I never would have..." "What?" "Goddamn it!" "Will you stop thinking about how itll make you look?" "Think what youre saying." "She has no idea." "I cant believe yall are doing this to me." "She knows too much as it is." "She doesnt know shit." "What she knows, shes made the worst of it." "Its like this, pal." "If you dont tell her, we will." "Case closed." "This is not the Ya-Ya way." "It is now." "Ya-Ya." "Now, lets eat." "We were ill-equipped." "It can be summed up in,The road to hell is paved with good intentions." "What about the road back?" "Whats that paved with?" "Humility." "Really?" "Does she even have that in her repertoire?" "Not that shed care to admit." "Pride covers a multitude of sins." "But you live with someone long enough you can see what theyre trying to hide by the way they try to hide it." "Shes hurting too, baby girl." "Daddy?" "Did you get loved enough?" "Whats enough?" "My question is did you?" "Its never too late." "Youve reached Connor and Sidda." "Leave a message and we will call you back." "Hi." "Im very sorry to bother you so late." "Are you Mr. Walker?" "Depends." "Im Connor McGill." "Im supposed to marry Sidda?" "But she was..." "...abducted by some friends of yours..." "Save your breath." "Its not my department." "Come on in." "Vivi Walker, Connor McGill." "Shell take over from here." "Good luck." "Night-night." "Why am I just meeting you now, Connor?" "Is that her doing or yours?" "You know the answer to that." "Did she say she was calling the whole thing off?" "Did she use those exact words?" "No, she said,Dont mail out the invitations." "But she didnt say burn them or throw them out." "Its taken years to nail down a date." "She saysWhy rush?" ", or Things are good, why change?" "I dont know what shes afraid of." "She thinks the bottom will drop out." "You know why she thinks that, dont you, honey?" "Because it did." "It always did." "What?" "What is it?" "Put your arms up." "Take a sip." "Sorry." "I thought it was water." "Lulu and Baylor are sick." "Baylor pooped in bed." "Baylor, God!" "Come on!" "Get in the bathtub." "Get out of those pants!" "Im sorry." "I didnt mean to!" "Dont cough and help with your brother!" "Baylor, we have to be a good boy." "My tummy hurts." "We have to take your temperature." "God, Lulu!" "Im sorry, Mommy." "Throw up in the toilet!" "Wheres your father?" "Why do I have to do everything myself?" "Stop!" "God!" "Mama." "Pick me up." "Mama." "Shut up!" "Mama, come here." "Willetta." "Do you have any money?" "No, maam, I dont." "Make Little Shep eat oatmeal, or hell be in the cookies." "Where you going in your fancy coat?" "Confession." "Im going for absolution." "Watch out for cat-eyed priests." "Be back in an hour." "Bless me, Father, Ive sinned." "My last confession was two weeks ago." "Go ahead." "Father, I accuse myself of bad thoughts toward my family." "Youve hated your husband?" "Yes, and my children." "How many times have you borne these thoughts?" "Too many to count." "What are these bad thoughts?" "In my thoughts I want to abandon my children." "I want to injure my husband." "I want to run away." "I want to be unattached." "I want to be famous." "You must banish these bad thoughts." "What if I cant make them stop?" "Well then, ask Mary, the mother of our blessed Lord to teach you to bear your cross silently patiently, and in perfect submission to the will of God." "Good morning." "May I have some coffee, please?" "Yes." "Thank..." "Wait." "Is today Thursday?" "Friday?" "Hi, darling." "You okay?" "Im fine, honey." "Sidda, honey, dont cry." "How is everybody?" "All by yourself?" "Im very proud of you, honey." "Thats good." "Im coming home." "Today." "How about we have shrimp for supper?" "I love you too." "Bye-bye." "Does she know about all this?" "She knew I was gone." "Wasnt the first time." "I know she blames me." "Of course she does, just like I blame my mother." "I didnt screw up her life any more than my mother screwed up mine." "She almost did." "But all the real Iong-term damage I did to myself." "Vivi." "I just want the woman to marry me." "Vivi?" "Did you knock?" "What is it, honey?" "I had a question." "Well..." "Well, whats the question, honey?" "Did I ruin your life?" "I always thought the story was Id ruined yours." "That may be another of the many lies Ive told myself along the way." "Vivi, youve made it interesting." "I tried to keep up." "Then I tried to stay out of your way." "But I knew the first time I saw you, there was no one like you in the world." "When I saidfor better or worse I knew it was a coin toss." "Shep?" "Heads or tails?" "Your call." "Is that Connor?" "I believe it is." "Lets stick to the plan." "Youre just in time." "I made beignets." "Hi, Vivi." "Look whos here." "Hello, Connor." "Good morning, ladies." "Connor, why are you here?" "Ive come to get my bride." "Shell hate it if you call her that." "Itll be our secret." "I understand secrets are Ya-Ya forte." "Thats what we came to talk about." "Vivi, I think you know what were here for." "Weve had this discussion." "I think I was perfectly clear." "Perfectly clear and perfectly wrong." "This is violently unfair." "I have not ceded control of my private life to you or anyone else." "Honey." "There is no shame in what happened." "That was a different time, and you were different." "Theyre right." "You can trust Sidda, honey." "Come on, honey." "Come with us." "I cant." "I cant be the one." "I dont even remember most of it." "I dont want to be the one." "Okay, darling." "Youll be glad, honey, when this is over." "Im coming with you." "Wait, you cant all go." "Ill stay with you." "Once a long time ago I dropped my basket." "Hey, butterbean." "Whats the problem?" "Nothing." "Connors just not picking up." "What?" "Get comfortable." "I got a full tank." "When I got back, I quit drinking." "I tried to be the best mother I could." "Howd that go?" "Not so hot." "Willetta!" "Get this monster!" "I cant stand him!" "Dont look at me in that tone." "I wasnt." "Well, dont!" "Hurry up." "Get in there!" "I saw a priest, who sent me to a doctor whos supposed to cure me of the demon alcohol." "Did it work?" "Shut up!" "Quit making all that goddamn noise!" "Monday." "Wednesday, beggar man, thief." "How many doctors will it..." "Im sure there are things you remember that youd rather forget." "We know you bore the brunt of it." "Bear the brunt." "I done a bad thing." "Heathcliff, I got a surprise for you." "A surprise, Louie?" "Yeah." "Close your eyes." "Come on." "I didnt do anything." "Outside, everybody." "Get out of those filthy rags!" "Its raining." "Ill clean you up before he has a go." "I didnt do anything!" "I have to save you!" "Oh, my God, Mama!" "God, help me!" "Mama, wait!" "Its not time yet!" "Mama, let me find Daddy!" "Stop it!" "I see the moon and the moon sees me." "Get away from her!" "Im sorry, Mommy." "Come on, Lulu!" "Run!" "Im sorry." "Please, stop it, Mama!" "Hail Mary, full of face." "No, Miss Vivi!" "They need cleaning!" "They are clean." "Clean as angels." "Get them in the truck, Willetta." "Chaney, come on!" "We gotta try to find Mr. Shep!" "She done lost her mind!" "Oh, my God, youre bleeding!" "Get in the truck!" "Vivi, can you hear me?" "Come on." "Vivi." "Do you know what she took?" "How many?" "No idea." "She eats them like MMs." "Dr. Lowell." "That man ought to be run out of town on a rail." "Ill give her a mild tranquilizer." "Shep, Vivis sick." "She has cracked up." "We need to get her some real help." "I can tell you what the problem is." "She doesnt eat." "Shep?" "She wont eat now." "She doesnt know where she is." "Its not gonna hurt to have something in her stomach, now is it?" "Hey, baby." "Its a B.L.T. You got to take a bite, honey." "Good, good." "Chew, baby, yeah." "Beau?" "Why dont you go on over and see about the kids." "Oh, baby." "Vivi?" "Baby." "Come on." "Come here." "Yeah?" "So?" "She didnt leave you, Siddo." "She was sure as hell gone." "She sure as hell was." ""Dear Mama, I hope youre having a nice time, wherever you are." "We are being good, and I can make Baylor be quiet now." "So he wont get on your nerves." "I promise." "So you can come home any time." "Im sorry if we made you mad." "I pray for you every night, and every morning too." "I miss you so very much." "And Daddy does too." "Maybe I could come see you, and we could go swimming, like old times. "" "Lulu, dont bite." ""I love you, and I will write again tomorrow. "" "Sit down, Daddy." ""Yours truly, Siddalee. "" "It was six monthsinvoluntary commitment, Sidda." "And when she got back, we tried to get her to talk about her breakdown." "She refused and refuses to this day." "Only once she made me tell her how I found you and the kids." "Every single mark on your bodies." "She was twisted with guilt." "Honey, I think the reason she stayed distant is she never trusted herself again." "She didnt think she deserved you." "Everything else is an act, bebe." "And those pills." "Dexamyl." "Half Dexedrine, half Milltown." "It was supposed to cure drinking." "Nobody knew shit." "The thing I regret most is that we didnt talk to you, or Baylor, or Lulu, or Shep." "It was the belief that you dont interfere with other peoples kids." "I wanted to tell you, honey." "A million times." "She made me swear I would never tell a soul." "Speak, bebe." "Im just adding up in my head the thousands of dollars I spent on therapy figuring out what I did wrong." "Shep?" "Write her a check." "Well be cooking." "We have your mothers birthday party to throw." "Bye now, bebe." "Bye, honey." "Bye-bye, yall." "You okay?" "Yeah." "It wasnt always bad, honey." "Do what I do." "Think about the good times." "Let that be what sticks with you." "What are you, some kind of saint?" "Thats me." "Saint Shep of the fields." "Patron saint of sunflowers." "Bye." "Sit down!" "Sit down!" "All right, Sidda honey, were gonna need tickets." "Go over there and stand in line." "Get 12 children and two adults." "I need a strong man!" "Necie, youre not going up, right?" "No." "Teensy, youre high enough." "One more." "This little one is staying, and this one is going." "This is safe?" "Safe as a baby carriage." "Dont get saucy." "Theyre my angels." "Dont worry." "Its your turn, climb on in!" "Come on, bebe, lets go!" "I cant." "Scared?" "Why dont you hop in?" "You go if I go?" "All right." "Keep your eye on Baylor." "Dont try my patience." "Either tell me whats wrong or forget it." "I want to ride in the airplane." "Why didnt you?" "I dont know." "Sidda." "I understand being afraid." "But nobody ever got anywhere by being frightened all the time." "When I think of all the stuff I never..." "Want to ride in that airplane?" "And you cant live with yourself if you dont?" "Thats exactly it." "All right then." "Whos honking that horn?" "Sidda and I are going to see a man about an airplane." "Hi there." "I know you must be utterly exhausted after such a long day but could you consider one more ride, for my daughter?" "No." "Sorry." "Please?" "She panicked before, and now shes dying to go up." "Ill pay you." "Maam, I have to go to Baton Rouge." "Then fly to Macon, Georgia, in the morning." "Ive been here since 7:00 a.m." "But I can pay you a whole $1 .18." "Lady, $1 .18 wont cover the gas to get us off the ground." "Well be back." "With money." "You just stay right there." "Please, dont go." "Christ." "I need some cash, Lyle." "Charge $15 to Sheps account." "Actually, make it $20." "Sorry, I cant do that." "Why not?" "Youve done it 84,000 times before." "Shep told me I can give you all the gas and service you want but no more cash." "Due to all the times before." "Its not what you think." "Be a sweetheart, and itll stay between us." "He said just gas, no cash." "He pays the bills." "Its okay, Mama, never mind." "Lets give up and go on home." "Siddalee Walker." "Dont you ever let me hear you utter those words again!" "Do you understand?" "Come on, get out of the car." "I have a proposition for you." "How much gas are you buying this afternoon?" "Im filling up." "Let me put it on my husbands charge account, and pay me cash." "What do you say?" "Okay." "I see what youre saying." "Cause Im married to a tight-fisted son of a bitch myself." "Have a wonderful day." "Lyle!" "Youve been outsmarted once again!" "Get your homely ass out of that chair and pump this lovely woman a tankful." "Which way is your house?" "That way." "There it is." "See it?" "Isnt it like a fairyland?" "Dont we live in the most magical place?" "Were like two angels, up in the sky, smiling down on all our friends." "Hi." "You say that like you know its me." "It is you." "Maybe its good theres a lot of people here." "Stick by me." "Shes putty in my hands." "Watch your driving." "Chaney." "Siddalee Walker." "Free at last." "Thank God Almighty." "Meet Connor." "Willetta." "Hello." "You know Connor." "Hi, Connor." "Come on, son, come with me." "Well meet the Walker men." "Mama, that reporter..." "Nope." "Truth hurts, kiddo." "Thats all." "Im sure I had it coming." "Mama, I..." "There are some things for which I dont expect to be forgiven." "Not by my children." "Not even by God." "There are some things for which it would be ludicrous to say Im sorry." "Itd be so..." "So pale." "I guess I owe you an apology..." "No, you dont." "Dont say it." "Ive been thinking about what Id say to you, should we ever speak again." "I thought of all the mean things thatd make you feel guilty." "You know me." "I take a problem and chew on it until all the flavors gone and then I stick it in my hair." "And then it dawned on me." "All those years that I prayed that I begged on my hands and knees for God to make me more, give me more make me better make me stronger make me saner make all my dreams come true..." "I finally got an answer." "What?" "You." "Right there in one person, all Id ever wanted to be or do." "And there you are." "You came right through me and I never even realized." "I hate it when its right in front of your face and you miss it." "Dont you?" "You goddamn marry that boy." "I will." "I know I have theworst mother in the worldprize sewed up and in the bag but Id still like to be there." "Well." "Maybe we could have it here?" "That would just be convenient." "I could walk to it." "You could." "Here." "Ive been waiting to give you that." "I almost lost it once, but I got it back." "Its so beautiful, Mama." "Thank you." "Theres one more thing I want to ask." "Then you go dance until your socks melt." "Okay." "But I want you to be totally honest." "Are you sure?" "Yes." "Okay." "Do I look like Ive gained weight?" "No." "Actually, I think you may be too thin." "God love you, darling." "Now you can go have some fun." "Okay." "Shell love it." "Make a wish." "Make a wish." "This way." "Put your game face on." "You are now in the inner sanctum of the temple of the Ya-Ya." "Enter." "Bring forth the petit." "As you have seen the secret Ya-Ya documents and heard secret Ya-Ya secrets it is now time for you to give yourself to nature and heed the Ya-Ya call." "Silence." "Sorry." "You are about to be initiated as an intimate of the secret order." "We wear headdresses of the queens who have gone before us who ask us to carry on their magic." "They come from Indian holy grounds, the jungles of the ancients the prairies of the Norwegians and the shores of Gitchegoomi." "Gitchegoomi." "Gitchegoomi." "Countess Singing Cloud, bring forth the chalice." "What the hell is this?" "This is the blood of our people." "The wolf people, the alligator people and the crazy people from whom we gain our strength to rule all worlds." "Are we gonna do that again?" "Hell, yes." "Of course we are." "Thats how diseases spread." "Honey, the only disease that could survive our bloodstream is alcoholism." "Is that it?" "I cant tell if thats a scar or wrinkle." "Thats a wrinkle." "Theres some scars behind your ears." "Shut up." "Youre opening up old wounds for me?" "Old wounds heal, pal." "There are people in the world to save you when you need saving cover your ass when it needs covering and are always there when you need someone to lean on." "We are the mighty Ya-Ya priestesses." "Let no man put us under." "Now our blood flows through each other as it has for all eternity." "Loyal forever, we raise our voices in the words of mumbo gumbo:" "Ya-Ya!" "Nice here on the porch, isnt it?" "Love it." "I love you, Mama." "I love you too, sunflower."