"JACQUES:" "So now we are here." "I, Captain Jacques Saint-Yves ofNapoIeon's Hussars..." "I, Captain Jacques Saint-Yves ofNapoIeon's Hussars... who has lost his family to the revolution... and his innocence in battle... wiIInot lose the opportunity to have a splendid night out." "Paris is a place ofdueIs, wine, and women... in that order." "It is often said that any Hussar who is not dead... by the age of30 is a blackguard." "Today Iam 34, and living, it seems, on borrowed time." "FRANCOIS:" "At last." "Now we can get drunk." "JACQUES:" "If you knew how much I dislike your backsIapping" "FRANCOIS:" "I do know." "That's why I do it." "OFFICER:" "Not so fast, monsieur." "I am Capitaine Robert Couperin of the Paris Guard." "My condolences, Capitaine." "COUPERIN:" "You have insulted me and I demand satisfaction." "We'II meet at dawn in Ie Bois de boulogne." "You have choice of weapons." "pistols." "COUPERIN:" "Your name, monsieur." "I demand to know your name." "Le Vicomte Jacques de KerouaI de Saint-Yves." "FRANCOIS:" "And he fears no one." "[chuckles]" "FRANCOIS:" "This is fast becoming a fuII-time occupation." "JACQUES:" "What is, Francois?" "FRANCOIS:" "Being yoursecond." "JACQUES:" "Do you think he'd accept an abject apology?" "No." "You told him I'm with child?" "He was unmoved." "FRANCOIS:" "If you are killed, I'II never speak to you again." "JACQUES:" "I understand." "OFFICER:" "You each have one shot." "Whatever the result of that exchange... honor will be deemed to be satisfied." "Take care." "They may be loaded." "OFFICER:" "Ten paces, gentlemen." "1...2... 3...4...5... 6...7...8... 9...10." "gentlemen, IshaIIsay ready... and then count to three." "You may fire at any time between one and three." "[Cocks pistol]" "OFFICER:" "Are you ready?" "Ready." "If you die, may I have your boots?" "You may." "And my debts." "Ready." "OFFICER:" "One... two..." "[Fires] [Birds flapping]" "OFFICER:" "Three!" "OFFICER:" "Honorhas been satisfied." "Let us nowconsider the mattersettIed." "LE BON:" "kill him." "Aah!" "Here!" "Aah!" "FRANCOIS:" "You're lucky it's just a flesh wound." "JACQUES:" "Come on, I'm late." "FRANCOIS:" "Late?" "What for?" "No, Jacques." "That fat fellow's friend will be looking for you everywhere." "JACQUES:" "Let him." "Remember my family motto?" "FRANCOIS:" "No." "JACQUES:" "Of course not." "You're a plebeian." "FRANCOIS:" "That remark is beneath you." "A position shortly to be occupied by the singer." "JACQUES:" "Your witticisms do you a great disservice." "The fact is you're jealous." "FRANCOIS:" "What is there to be jealous about?" "JACQUES:" "Eyes so full of fire, her mouth so soft" "FRANCOIS:" "Beauty is only skin-deep." "JACQUES:" "That's it!" "Our friendship is at an end." "I cannot love a man who loves a cliche." "Le Vicomte Jacques de Saint-Yves at your service." "You're wounded." "It's nothing." "It seems I am breakfasting with the most infamous man in Paris." "You would think Paris would have something better to talk about." "MAN:" "Capitaine de Saint-Yves?" "[clicks heels]" "[clicks heels]" "pistols." "Le Bois de boulogne at dawn tomorrow." "[clicks heels]" "So, monsieur, you are a vicomte... and yet you serve napoleon." "I Iike the uniform." "MAN:" "Capitaine de Saint-Yves?" "Sabres." "Bois de boulogne. 8 a.m." "[clicks heels]" "And is monsieur Ie vicomte a rich man?" "At the moment, I am the richest man in Paris." "[clicks heels]" "The earliest I can possibly accommodate you is 9:00." "[clicks heels]" "I had hoped we might spend some time together tomorrow... but it seems you are to be otherwise engaged." "Today?" "I have a matinee." "And afteryourmatinee?" "An evening performance." "And after that?" "A priorengagement." "Which cannot be broken." "On Wednesday we perform at versailles." "JACQUES:" "And Ireturn to my regiment and the battlefield." "It must be tomorrow morning." "I can be with you by 10:00." "[Footsteps]" "MAN:" "Capitaine de Saint-Yves?" "I demand that you grant me satisfaction." "Can you make 9:15?" "Noon, or you're a disgrace to your uniform and France." "only officers can fight duels?" "Officers of the same rank, yes." "Good." "I wouldn't like to wait in line... behind an entire regiment." "Noon." "[clicks heels]" "MademoiseIIe, forgive me for what I am about to do." "I have our best interests at heart." "Something I've said?" "thankfully, yes." "I shall call and pay my respects first thing tomorrow." "At what time do you rise?" "As soon as I wake." "until tomorrow, then." "[clicks heels]" "Capitaine Saint-Yves requesting demotion, sir." "You are a liar and a cheat... a drunkard and a disgrace." "A hot-headed, hot-bIooded Casanova." "A useless, feckless, worthless hobbIedehoy." "Have you nothing to say foryourself?" "A good-for-nothing bIackguard... and a sIubberdeguIIion." "FRANCOIS:" "colonel, may Isay that Capitaine Saint-Yves" "You may not." "Saint-Yves, you marched in here a Captain of Hussars." "You will march out a private." "A what?" "A private." "JACQUES:" "There must be some mistake." "Reduced in rank, of course, richly deserved... but reduced to the ranks?" "BONNEFOY:" "No mistake." "A private..." "in the Infantry." "Infantry?" "Take him away." "And find him a particularly itchy uniform." "FusiIier Jacques Saint-Yves reporting for duty." "The uniform has changed." "The man beneath remains the same." "I do hope so." "May I offer some small compensation... for the sacrifices you have made?" "You may." "OFFICER:" "En avant!" "[explosions]" "Avant!" "Was it worth it?" "JACQUES:" "It was worth it." "[Neighing]" "Was it worth it?" "It was worth it." "[Horse neighs]" "[Snoring]" "Wake up, Francois." "What is it?" "Come with me." "Hmm?" "[Men shouting]" "JACQUES:" "British soldiers." "There can't be more than 200 ofthem." "You and I wiIItake them prisoner." "FRANCOIS:" "Good idea." "IteIIyou what... you surround them and I'IIgo back to bed." "JACQUES:" "We'IIbe heroes." "will they write songs about us?" "Yes." "And you will recommend my immediate reinstatement." "Ah, so you concede it was not worth it." "I do no such thing." "still the same old Saint-Yves" "Aah!" "Bonjour, messieurs." "[Groaning]" "[Man coughing]" "[Locks door]" "There's a place." "Make yourself at home." "[Sighs]" "I did not expect to be incarcerated in a toy shop." "The jail is open to the public each Saturday." "They stare and jabber like monkeys... but they also pay good money for our toys." "GAUTIER:" "Let's see what you can do." "[bell ringing] CHEVENING:" "Open up." "Major Chevening." "Miss GiIchrist, you're here." "welcome." "I'm so glad you were able to... and that you managed to persuade your niece to." "She took no persuading." "Did you, flora?" "CHEVENING:" "Good, good, good." "well, this way, ladies." "The guided tour." "Some ofthe work is, Ithink you'IIagree... quite exquisite." "May I see what you have made?" "alas, mademoiselle, I am no craftsman." "You may call this a box, if you are very indulgent." "And this?" "My coat of arms." "Do you suffer in your captivity, monsieur?" "SUSAN:" "really, flora!" "JACQUES:" "Now, what am I to say?" "If you were carried from this country... of mountains and moors, rocks, streams, winds, and rain... would you not regret, do you think?" "You speak perfect english, monsieur." "As a child, I had an english tutor." "I should like to purchase your carving." "It's not for sale." "But please do accept it as a gift." "My niece cannot accept a gift from you, monsieur." "Then allow me." "Thank you, Major." "You have a great many initials, monsieur." "Jacques de KerouaI de Saint-Yves, at your service." "SUSAN:" "Come along, flora." "The major wishes to show us his gun emplacement." "[material rips]" "I was a rope maker before I was a sailor." "And you intend to use that to escape?" "How long is it?" "Ten fathoms." "And the wall?" "The same." "On the other side?" "It's a brave man who goes first." "CLAUSEL:" "You are volunteering?" "sadly, a recent wound makes it impossible for me... to do anything suicidal." "[Door cIangs]" "[Keys jangIe]" "[bell ringing]" "[Door opens]" "[Door closes]" "I am of the opinion that you are a gentleman." "JACQUES:" "I'm a soldier, nothing more." "Have you seen much action?" "Yes." "This is not..." "a romantic posting." "Not like leading a battalion into battle in close order." "people get killed doing that sort of thing, Major." "You're better off here." "The fact remains that this is not the kind of posting... that impresses a young woman." "I confess..." "I was moved to admire your manner today." "The way in which you spoke to Miss GiIchrist." "The point is, that while the French... have nothing to teach us on the battlefield..." "I must concede that in the language of..." "The boudoir?" "Nothing of the sort." "I was about to say "Love."" "We english gentlemen may have something to Iearn." "From you." "Frenchies." "In that department alone." "My father always said..." ""If you want to win a woman, use your tongue."" "To flatter her." "Women young or old like to be complimented." "Oh, I see." "Yes, of course." "exactly." "Very good." "So...how?" ""My darling, your cheeks are as soft as july peaches." ""Your eyes as deeply dark as are the desert skies."" "Good God!" ""Your beauty maddens the soul like wine." ""Kiss me." "Kiss me." You try." "[chuckling] Me?" "I couldn't possibly." "My darling, your cheeks..." "My darling, your cheeks..." "Are as soft as july peaches." "Are as soft as july peaches." "Your eyes..." "Your eyes... are as deeply dark as are the desert skies." "Are as dark as the desert skies." "Your beauty maddens the soul like wine." "CHEVENING:" "Kiss me." "Kiss me." "Yes, what is it?" "BIGGERSTAFF:" "Sorry, sir." "I had no..." "No idea." "Sorry." "[Door closes]" "What the devil is the matter with the man?" "Le Vicomte Jacques de KerouaI de Saint-Yves... at your service." "The Count of St. Ives." "[Ripping]" "[clicking]" "[Bird shrieks]" "May I ask what you are doing here?" "COUNT:" "You are unharmed, mademoiselle." "FLORA:" "Oh." "You are the Count de Saint-Yves." "Forgive me." "I am Miss flora GiIchrist." "I came here today because of this." "FLORA:" "would it surprise you to Iearn... it was fashioned by a French prisoner-of-war... who calls himself Jacques de KerouaI de Saint-Yves?" "Jean." "[clock chiming]" "COUNT:" "Perhaps you would have a drink with me?" "The first I knew of the revolution... was when I awoke to find the villagers... smashing the dovecote." "Mygamekeeper tried to stop them." "They shot him dead." "It was then Iknew that there was no hope." "I begged my son to leave with my grandchildren." "He would not be persuaded." "My stubborn, stupid..." "beautiful son." "I Ieft without them." "COUNT:" "They left it too late." "My son, his wife, and my two grandsons..." "Jacques andAIain... were hunted down by ourown tenants." "COUNT:" "SomehowAIain escaped." "He fled France and came here to me... a frightened boy." "He wept." "He told me he watched as his father... his mother, and his brother Jacques... all perished." "But surely, sir, your grandson AIain would not lie... about the death of his brother." "COUNT:" "I tell you plainly... my grandson AIain is a disappointment to me." "COUNT:" "He has lived here with me... from that day to this and made my Iife a misery." "Lying to me would be the least ofhis sins." "WOMAN:" "Uhh!" "ALAIN:" "Is there any good reason why you're still here?" "WOMAN:" "I've not been paid yet." "ALAIN:" "You've had the instruction of a lifetime." "I, no doubt, have been thoroughly poxed." "It is you who should pay me." "COUNT:" "That swine wiIIbe the ruination ofmy family." "I must see this prisoner." "FLORA:" "But you may see him." "Come to the jail." "COUNT:" "Thejourney would be too much forme." "Our carpenter must come here." "FLORA:" "The major is expecting me." "Miss GiIchrist!" "Ah, Major!" "CHEVENING:" "What a pleasant surprise." "My aunt was wondering if you'd care to dine with us... at Swanston this Saturday?" "Dine?" "Saturday?" "Swanston?" "Nothing would give me greater pleasure." "IshaIIbe free ofmy duties by 7:00 ifthat is convenient." "FLORA:" "Do I have the pleasure... of addressing Ie Vicomte Jacques de KerouaI de Saint-Yves?" "JACQUES:" "I do not call myself that, mademoiselle... though I have a right to if I choose." "FLORA:" "I knew it!" "How did you know it?" "Your crest." "Your grandfather lives here in scotland not 20 miles away." "At Inveresk." "He gave me this map to aid you in your escape." "JACQUES:" "Why are you doing this?" "I want to help you." "And you think this helps me?" "FLORA:" "He's desperate to see you." "JACQUES:" "Why has he not come to see me?" "My grandfather abandoned us." "fied while my family were slaughtered like animals." "No, your brother is" "[Horse whinnies]" "Miss GiIchrist!" "CHEVENING:" "You really shouldn't be in here." "No, you should not." "Miss GiIchrist!" "JACQUES:" "I will be the first man down the rope." "Your hand?" "miraculously healed." "[Footsteps]" "Ah, Biggerstaff." "I'm dining at Swanston this evening." "May I?" "I expect everything to be shipshape on my return." "Are you wearing perfume?" "Just a little eau de cologne." "Wash it off, man!" "You smell like a pansy." "farewell, my love." "[Singing] Rumperty, rumperty, rumperty, rump" "Here I come on my charger" "Rumperty, rumperty, rumperty, rump" "Just like an Indian rajah" "AII the girls, they do declare" "That I'm a gay young stager" "Hey, hey, clear the way" "Here comes the galloping major" "Major, I'm so happy you could come." "It's an honor." "What a delightful setting." "Yes." "In high summer... we eat alfresco almost every evening." "delicious." "Beats roast beef every time." "actually, we are having roast beef." "My favorite." "Excuse me for a moment." "Miss GiIchrist, I wonder, may I call you flora?" "FLORA:" "Of course you may." "It is my name after all." "CHEVENING:" "flora... your cheeks are as soft as a... as...peach." "What?" "would you Iike a peach?" "Do you have one?" "No." "Then I won't, thank you." "[clears throat]" "CHEVENING:" "flora..." "your eyes...are good." "You don't need eyeglasses." "excellent!" "[clears throat]" "[clock chiming]" "They'II be sIopping out at the prison about now." "[cell door squeaks]" "I must say, your father has collected... a great many fascinating knickknacks on his travels." "FLORA:" "These "knickknacks," as you put it... were not collected by my father." "They were collected by my aunt." "Good Lord, is that so?" "Have you traveled far, Miss GiIchrist?" "FLORA:" "italy, aIIthrough the Ottoman Empire..." "ConstantinopIe." "Good Lord!" "FLORA:" "Persia, the holy Land." "You must have seen a great deal of the world, Major." "With the army." "Not that much." "You have been somewhere exotic, surely?" "SaIisbury." "Quite a nice little town." "FLORA:" "tell us about it, Major." "SUSAN:" "Might my niece be permitted... to caIIyou by yourfirst name, Major?" "Indeed she may." "SUSAN:" "What is it?" "Your name?" "It's Farquhar." "FLORA:" "bless you." "No, my name--Farquhar." "It's gaelic." "How charming." "It means "manly."" "SUSAN:" "Which ofcourse you are." "I sincerely hope so." "Uhh!" "FLORA:" "would you please excuse me?" "[Sighs] Might I say something, Farquhar?" "Sit down." "Young women are not interested in whether the percussion cap... will replace the flintlock." "Nor whether the British "Brown Bess"... is superior to the French musket." "When I withdraw, sit closer to her." "Look into her eyes." "Take her hand." "compliment her." "Her hair, her clothes, her complexion... and above all, please tell her you were joking... and your name is something a touch more heroic." "Miss GiIchrist, may I just say... your beauty maddens the soul like wine?" "No, you may not." "absolutely." "Thank you very much indeed." "[swallows]" "[owl hoots]" "[bell ringing]" "CLAUSEL:" "please, don't shoot!" "Give me that." "[bells ringing]" "GUARD:" "Prisoners escaping down the west waII" "CaIIthe guard!" "JACQUES:" "Uhh!" "Aha!" "[Shouting]" "[Gunshot]" "Of course, the Bashi-Bazouks with whom I lived in Turkey... heated a mixture of fresh opium and ashes of the drug." "[Water bubbles]" "sadly, all we have is old Jamaican shag." "The water cools and purifies the smoke most wonderfully." "[Coughing] Quite so." "FLORA:" "What is it, Sim?" "SIM:" "A message for Major Shivering, ma'am." "Chevening!" "SIM:" "There's been an escape." "A man's dead!" "FLORA:" "Who?" "CHEVENING:" "Leave this to me, ladies." "FLORA:" "Who is dead?" "[Chevening coughing]" "Who is dead?" "[Bird chirping]" "JACQUES:" "Forgive me, Father." "[Priest groans]" "Where are you going so early in the morning, padre?" "Not so much early, my son, as late." "Making my way back to my own bed." "Arrest him !" "Aah!" "OFFICER:" "Get afterhim !" "[Jacques whistling "La MarseiIIaise"]" "Out!" "It was in." "No, it was out." "In!" "Jean?" "Monsieur?" "In or out?" "Uh..." "ALAIN:" "In or out?" "In?" "Out." "well, get out!" "But leave the tray." "His mother was a crab, you know." "[rustling]" "Monseigneur?" "COUNT:" "Who is it?" "COUNT:" "Who are you?" "I am Jacques." "will you be so kind as to uncork the wine... and pour two glasses?" "The soil and the sun." "The smell of my childhood." "JACQUES:" "This is Chateau Saint-Yves." "COUNT:" "Iprayed that it wouId be you." "My boy." "Mmm." "We were seized, my mother, my father, and alain... and thrown into prison." "We were questioned." "alain was the first." "Questioned day and night... about our supposed support for the royalist cause." "I said nothing." "Even when they told me alain had been guillotined... and I would be next." "One morning... they prepared us for execution." "My father was first." "I heard the blade fall." "[blade falls]" "JACQUES:" "My mother went by the same road to Heaven." "Then it was my turn." "The steps to the scaffold were steep." "suddenly, a man reached up and took hold ofme." "I was passed over the heads of the crowd." "They were laughing." "Someone dropped me." "IcrawIed amongst the legs." "Then I was running." "I was twelve years old." "I enlisted in the army." "Isawmy first action at thirteen..." "By fourteen, I was fighting underthe command... of general napoleon himself." "The army has been my family." "Every day has been a torture to me... since the day I Ieft France." "UntiItoday." "Today the sun has shone forthe first time... in twenty years." "[bell ringing]" "Now wait behind that door." "I will call you." "Jean, light the candles." "assemble the entire household here in this room." "The entire household." "JEAN:" "Oui, monsieurIe compte." "ALAIN:" "What's going on?" "Is there a fire?" "God, I hope so." "Anything." "Anything to rid me of this ennui." "COUNT:" "I wish to introduce someone to you." "Someone Ithought lost to me forever." "Jacques, step forward." "alain?" "Oh, alain, it's you." "You survived." "I don't know you." "It's me, your brother." "Don't touch me!" "My brother's dead." "I don't know this man." "I call upon all of you here gathered to witness... that I do discard and disinherit this gentleman... who you aIIknow, Ie VicomteAIain... and do recognize as my sole heir and representative... my youngergrandson Ie Vicomte Jacques." "Iam deepIygratefuI to you all." "JACQUES:" "Monseigneur, Ido not understand." "ALAIN:" "Oh, I understand." "Yes..." "I understand only too well." "Uhh!" "[household gasps]" "Ride to Queensferry jail." "tell them we have an escaped French prisoner in the house." "I'II take care of him." "ALAIN:" "The rest ofyou, get out!" "Go on!" "Go!" "LINLITHGOW:" "Get out." "Hurry up!" "ALAIN:" "You, sir, are an impostor... who has taken advantage ofa gullible old man." "Huh!" "COUNT:" "For God's sake, defend yourself, Jacques!" "Aah!" "ALAIN:" "Go on, kiIIme." "I am nothing to you." "kill me!" "You are dearer to me than life itself." "[Breathing heavily]" "[Door opens] [Guns cock]" "Shoot him !" "ALAIN:" "Shoot him !" "Give me that!" "COUNT:" "You cowardly swine!" "You depraved coward!" "ALAIN:" "Shut up, old man!" "I want what's mine!" "[Count groans] LINLITHGOW:" "Leave him." "By the morning, you'IIbe the Count de Saint-Yves." "[Sheep bIeating]" "FLORA:" "Saint-Yves?" "Huh!" "Shh shh shh." "JACQUES:" "My brother's alive." "FLORA:" "Yes." "JACQUES:" "He gave me a less than cordial welcome." "FLORA:" "He did this?" "JACQUES:" "fortunately, he's always been a poor shot." "FLORA:" "I'm sorry." "JACQUES:" "No." "It is I who should apologize... for coming here." "I'm pursued from all sides." "FLORA:" "I shall come for you when it is safe." "[Jacques groans]" "JACQUES:" "Are you always so well equipped?" "FLORA:" "always." "My father was a naval surgeon." "He was killed in action." "Against the French?" "[Groans]" "Yes. [clang]" "It requires a stitch." "Your father taught you?" "No." "But it can't be that difficult." "You must hold still." "[Groans]" "Ohh." "Scissors." "There." "Thank you." "SUSAN:" "flora!" "[flora whistling]" "[Singing] So off she went" "To her father's chest" "And she brought him some clothes Of the very, very best" "She brought him some clothes Of the very, very best" "And the soldier put them on" "Thank you." "[Bump] Shh." "[Whispering] My aunt sleeps up there." "JACQUES:" "I have a toast to propose." "I do not know what will befall me or my family... but I do know I shall take the memory of your kindness... your beauty..." "SUSAN:" "Whom do Ihave the pleasure?" "[Gun cocks] flora?" "May I present Vicomte Jacques de KerouaI de Saint-Yves." "Monsieur Ie Vicomte." "You do us plain people a great deal too much honor." "He is the French prisoner who gave me the carving." "French prisoners are all very well in their place... but I cannot see that their place is in my drawing room." "Is that myport?" "Yes." "SUSAN:" "Then you had better pourme a glass... and explain yourselves." "[Sniffs]" "old Jamaican shag." "Perhaps we should turn our attentions southwest, sir?" "Don't be ridiculous." "Southwest would lead directIy-- [Coughing]" "Harder, man, for God's sake!" "[Coughing]" "To Swanston." "SUSAN:" "It's an extraordinary story." "But the fact remains you are an escaped prisoner of war." "Yet I can hardly hand you over to the authorities... without incriminating flora." "You may stay the night." "flora's room will be the most suitable." "flora will sleep with me." "[Knock at door]" "My God." "quickly, upstairs." "SUSAN:" "flora!" "flora!" "Go into my room." "Get into a nightdress." "[Locks door] [Knocking on door]" "Who is it?" "CHEVENING:" "hercules." "I beg your pardon?" "MajorHercuIes Chevening." "Open up!" "There's been an escape." "I have orders to search every building." "really?" "With your permission." "Of course." "You, you, and you." "HercuIes." "Start in here." "I shall start upstairs." "GUARD:" "Sir." "[Pottery shatters]" "please forgive the intrusion." "[Doorknob rattling]" "This door is locked." "[Turns knob] Locked?" "Farquhar!" "HercuIes." "hercules... since that night you dined with us..." "I have been unable to put you from my thoughts." "The kiss that I planted on your cheek... has taken root in my bosom and grown with each passing day." "Grown." "swollen." "Burst into flower." "Huge, red, exotic blooms of desire." "You said my beauty maddened your soul like wine." "So it does" "Then take me." ""Let hercules himself do what he may." ""The cat will mew and dog will have his day."" ""hamlet," Act V." "Drink me, quaff me, swill me, drain me to the dregs." "[Panting] Oh, hercules." "Move out!" "CHEVENING:" "Get me my horse!" "[Horse neighs]" "SUSAN:" "Thank you." "He's safe." "[flora sighs]" "Now go back to my room and try to sleep." "[Footsteps]" "[Door opens]" "You have something to write, monsieur?" "A note, madam." "For whom?" "For you, thanking you for your kindness." "But no need of that now... since I can thank you in person." "The pieces, please." ""I Iove you."" "Why, monsieur, you hardly know me." "You mock me, madam." "No, monsieur, it is you who mocks me." "With your protestations of innocence... and your claims to be a gentleman." "I am a gentleman, madam." "Then you realize you cannot compromise my niece further... and understand why I must ask you to leave... first thing in the morning... and for the sake of flora's name and reputation... to sever all further communication... now and forever." "SUSAN:" "Why, Major, won't you come in?" "CHEVENING:" "Thank you, no." "Forgive me for calling unannounced, but I..." "Yes?" "The last time I called, I couldn't help but notice... correct me if I'm wrong... that you thought of me with a certain fondness?" "That is to say, a not un-fond feeling." "No, that is perfectly correct." "And in light ofthat... given that there is to be a masked ball..." "I wondered if you would do me the honor?" "SUSAN:" "Yes." "No, of course not." "You're too busy." "I said "Yes."" "SUSAN:" "It would be a pleasure." "It would?" "Oh, yes." "And, of course, Miss flora, if she chooses." "We are promised a full orchestra and balloon flights." "I shall see to it that she comes." "splendid." "until Saturday, then?" "splendid." "splendid." "until Saturday." "[Orchestra playing]" "[Guests chattering]" "WOMAN:" "Oh, look!" "It is." "hello!" "hello." "ATTENDANT:" "Hamish Crabtree." "MasterofKinIoch." "Sidney LansdaIe and son." "SirRichard and Lady Ross." "Jock and Jenny MaIarkey." "Miss Susan GiIchrist." "Miss flora GiIchrist." "FLORA:" "only in scotland..." "SUSAN:" "What?" "FLORA: ...would one be announced at a masked ball." "Such mystery." "Such romance." "CHEVENING:" "May I?" "SUSAN:" "You may." "[Orchestra playing dance music]" "May I have the pleasure?" "I do not dance, I'm afraid." "SUSAN:" "Nonsense, flora." "You dance well." "Saint-Yves." "[Sighs]" "Why have you not returned to France?" "I had to see you." "Why?" "I had to ask you." "Yes?" "To give me back my heart..." "which you have stolen." "I cannot." "Then I must tell you..." "Yes?" "To keep it now and forever." "Yes, I will." "ATTENDANT:" "The honorable David LinIithgow." "ATTENDANT:" "The Count de Saint-Yves." "My God, alain." "Saint-Yves?" "JACQUES:" "alain?" "The escaped French prisoner." "What has happened to our grandfather?" "My grandfather... died in his sleep last week." "I don't see what business it is of yours." "My God, alain, what have you done?" "[Grunting]" "[Woman screams]" "CHEVENING:" "Arrest him !" "Guard!" "CHEVENING:" "Come on!" "Unhh!" "[Guests gasping]" "FLORA:" "Saint-Yves!" "ALAIN:" "LinIithgow!" "[Women screaming]" "[Grunts]" "Ah!" "I've got it!" "[Grunts]" "Ah!" "[Chevening groans]" "[Chevening grunting]" "[Gun cocks]" "Don't shoot!" "Or we'II be blown to kingdom come!" "Saint-Yves!" "Farquhar!" "[Grunting]" "CHEVENING:" "pull, man!" "[Both grunting]" "CHEVENING:" "It wiIInot rip." "The British tailor is the best in the world." "[Ripping] Oh, my God!" "[Chevening panting]" "[Thunder]" "FLORA:" "DearFather, Ientreat you." "Save the man I Iove." "Let your divine breath blow him to safety." "[Thunder]" "well, I'II say one thing, Jacques." "It's an ill wind that blows nobody good." "What exactly does that mean, Farquhar?" "I'm not absolutely certain, Jacques." "[Breathes deeply] What a splendid sight!" "CHEVENING:" "British cavalry." "No finerhorsemen in the world." "hello!" "hello!" "I imagine I'II see Miss flora before you." "Any message?" "JACQUES:" "Just tell her "Now and forever."" ""Now and forever." will do." "CHEVENING:" "Leave the talking to me." "I'IImake sure you're treated with the respect... due to an officer and a gentleman." "They're French." "What?" ""The finest horsemen in the world."" "They're French." "Oh, my God!" "We're in France." "Oh, my God!" "JACQUES:" "Run!" "What?" "Now." "Take your uniform." "JACQUES:" "At least then you'IInot be shot as a spy!" "Go, run, Farquhar!" "JACQUES:" "Go on, Farquhar!" "I'IIhoId them!" "Jacques de Saint-Yves reporting for duty." "Saint-Yves." "You are a liar and a cheat... a drunkard and a disgrace... a rash, headstrong ruffian... and we have pressing need of your services." "Consider yourself returned to the rank of Capitaine." "Thank you, my colonel." "What news of Francois Arouet?" "Have you not heard?" "[Patient coughs]" "[Whispering] Francois." "Francois." "[Sighs] Jacques." "Jacques." "My dear friend." "Sit." "Let me look at you." "[chuckles]" "You look well." "So do you." "Ah, I'm on the mend." "Thanks to the love of a good woman." "JACQUES:" "The singer?" "It's not possible." "Isn't she magnificent?" "Yes." "Though beauty is only skin-deep." "That's it." "Our friendship is at an end." "I cannot love a man who loves a cliche." "[Chevening grunts] Uhh!" "Ohh!" "Unh!" "Aah!" "A spy, sir." "Found him skulking around on the edge of the camp." "I am not a spy, and I damn well wasn't skuIking!" "Chevvers?" "Chevvers, is that you?" "Johnnie. [Sighs]" "[Sobbing]" "CHEVENING:" "Imagine my relief when IIooked up... and sawoIdJohnnie Elfinstone, a chum from school." "It was a rum do and no error." ""scotland to France in a balloon." ""Some sort of record, surely." ""Now at last I will see action." ""Perhaps in the future..." ""all wars will be fought from the air..." ""fire raining down."" "FLORA:" "Yes, yes, yes." "What news of Saint-Yves?" "[Sighs]" ""But to news of Jacques Saint-Yves."" "[chuckles]" ""He is alive and well..." ""and reunited with his countrymen." ""His last words to me were a message for flora." ""Now or never..." ""or now and then, or something."" "FLORA:" "I must go." "I must go to him today." "No, flora, you cannot." "It is dangerous, wild, impetuous." "I will come with you." "SUSAN:" "Do use your whip, Fergus... or the war in France will be won before we get there." "Mrs. Chevening is here, sir." "Good Lord." "Mater!" "No, sir, your wife." "Thank God for that." "Show her in, man." "Yes, sir." "Wait one moment." "Did you say my wife?" "Your wife and daughter, sir." "Here to see you." "traveled up from calais with the reinforcements." "Miss GiIchrist!" "Yes?" "well, how did you-- when did you" "[clears throat] Why did you?" "Kiss me." "With the greatest of pleasure." "[Shivers]" "FLORA:" "I should cross the French lines in disguise." "SUSAN:" "You will do no such thing." "You may write to Mr. Saint-Yves." "FLORA:" "Write to him?" "How will that quell the fire in my soul?" "SUSAN:" "really, flora." "You sound like you've stepped... from the pages of Mrs. RadcIiffe's "The italian."" "CHEVENING:" "I read that book." "AII spies and disguises and murders." "complete tosh." "ALAIN:" "Good evening, ladies." "[Grunts]" "[Panting]" "SUSAN:" "I was once taken prisoner... by the Pasha KheIi Kibay." "And I did find that by imitating... the movements of the Egyptian cobra..." "I was finally able to slip my bonds." "CHEVENING: [Singing] He who would valiant be" "Against all disaster" "Let him in constancy SUSAN:" "What are you doing?" "CHEVENING:" "I thought a song would keep our spirits up." "SUSAN:" "I find it depresses mine most horribly." "[Pants]" "Yes." "There." "Something is beginning to move." "CHEVENING:" "Then fancies flee away" "I'II fear not what men say" "I'II labor night and day to be a pilgrim" "Oh." "LINLITHGOW:" "Capitaine!" "Ihave something ofyours." "[flora moans]" "[flora groans]" "[Horse neighs]" "[flora grunts]" "JACQUES:" "release her, orl wiIIkiIIyou." "[Horse neighs]" "Aah!" "[Grunting]" "JACQUES:" "Aah." "[Horse neighs]" "[Jacques panting]" "Let her go... and you may do what you wish to me." "Ever the optimist, Jacques." "ALAIN:" "I've no need to bargain with you." "JACQUES:" "Why do you hate me so?" "ALAIN:" "Because you were noble and true... and I betrayed you to save my own skin." "What?" "You still don't understand, do you?" "It was me." "I gave the committee all they needed." "JACQUES:" "You were just a boy, alain." "You didn't know what you were doing." "[AIain chuckles]" "I knew exactly what I was doing." "Aah!" "Ohh!" "Yaah!" "Aah!" "[muffled groans]" "Aah!" "[AIain panting]" "[Whispering] Brother." "[Grunting]" "Mon frere." "I missed you." "I missed you." "[Grunts]" "CHEVENING: [Singing] Come cheer up my lads" "'Tis to glory we steer" "To add something more to this wonderfuIyear" "To honor we caIIyou" "Notpress you Iike slaves" "For who are supreme as the sons ofthe waves" "FLORA:" "Major Chevening?" "SUSAN:" "Oh, flora." "Thank God!" "Untie us!" "CHEVENING:" "Your aunt has been entertaining me... with tales of an Indian fakir." "Aah!" "I do think you're tightening the rope rather--Ahh." "[Jacques grunts] FLORA:" "Jacques." "Oh." "Oh, my love." "CHEVENING:" "Saint-Yves, please." "The Frenchman." "[Patient coughs]" "Miss GiIchrist?" "I have no desire to rub salt into your wounds." "JACQUES:" "pleased to hear it." "CHEVENING:" "But I do have some news for you." "Paris has surrendered." "Your generals have determined to put an end to it." "And napoleon?" "He has abdicated." "JACQUES:" "Then we shall have peace." "CHEVENING:" "Long may it last." "FLORA:" "We can go home." "May I just say that your cheeks... are as soft as a july peach." "Your eyes as deeply dark as are the desert skies." "You may." "And may I add, your beauty maddens the soul like wine." "You may." "Then it only remains for you to" "flora, now that the war is over..." "I feel I may speak freely." "Your eyes, your cheeks, your lips... they are the whole world to me now." "ArsehoIes" "CHEVENING:" "Ibeg yourpardon?" "Our souls..." "Ah." "Be very careful with your articulation there." "Carry on." "Our souls shall be as one." "If you will have me." "I will climb your hills and walk your valleys... and sail your seas from this day until my Iife's end." "CHEVENING:" "Oh, dear." "Oh, dear." "No, no, no." "What is it?" "Jacques, country walks and boating... are all very fine and fun in their way." "But they have nothing to do with love." "Do you see?" "JACQUES:" "I was speaking metaphorically." "CHEVENING:" "Of course you were." "The fact remains that Miss flora is hoping... for a proposal of marriage, not a day sailing." "In my experience, when it comes down to it... the tongue is a vastly overrated organ." "Fine words butter no parsnips." "Thank you, Farquhar." "Don't mention it." "flora?" "Jacques." "Now that the war is over..." "FLORA:" "Thank God." "JACQUES:" "Thank God." "I feel I may speak freely." "FLORA:" "please." "Your eyes, your cheeks" "FLORA:" "Late night, I'm afraid." "The sun is rather fierce today." "Your Iips" "Yes?" "They are my lips." "Your body and your-- Oh, God, flora." "Marry me?" "Yes, my love." "Yes." "MINISTER:" "I, Susan emily GiIchrist... take thee, Farquhar BoIIingbroke Chevening..." "CHEVENING:" "I, Susan emily GiIchri" "You've had your turn." "I do beg your pardon." "I, Susan emily GiIchrist... take thee, Farquhar BoIIingbroke Chevening... to be my lawful wedded husband." "[bells chiming]" "CHEVENING:" "Look, look!" "pull up." "FLORA:" "Thank you." "CHEVENING:" "After her, man!" "[giggling]" "SUSAN:" "Run, flora, run!" "CHEVENING:" "TaIIyho!" "SUSAN:" "Run!" "Ha ha ha!" "JEAN:" "will you be requiring any assistance, sir?" "With exactly what, Jean?" "With the stairs, sir?" "I shall require no assistance at all." "[Panting]" "[flora screams]" "Ah!" "Ohh!" "[Panting]" "[flora giggles]"