"(coyote howls)" "(rock music)" " Dennis." "Dennis!" " Hey, what gives?" " You're being paid to work around here!" "Not to sit around and blast your eardrums." " Hey, hey, hey, take it easy." "I can do both." "(phone ringing)" "(dial tone)" " Hello?" "Hello?" "Didn't you hear the phone ringing?" " No, I didn't." " [McCreedy] They've already hung up!" " Well then it couldn't have been too important." " Don't you have any sense of responsibility?" "That could have been a very important call." " [Dennis] At this hour?" " In the future would you just answer the phone no matter what hour it is, and not make your own decisions about what's important and what isn't?" " Yeah, yeah, right, right." " It's time for our rounds." "(eerie music)" "Did I ever tell you what the studio was like when I first started here?" " Yeah, more than once." " Oh, it used to be one of the busiest lots in town." " It's a real thriving metropolis now." "Hey wait a minute, what's this down here?" " Oh, it's just an old film vault, there's nothing down there." " Yeah, but why don't we check it anyway?" " I'm telling you there's nothing down there, and I'm not going to waste my time checking it out." " [Voiceover] McCreedy." " What is it now?" " [Voiceover] I need to talk to you now." " Well I can't right now." " [Voiceover] Now, I mean it." " Finish the rounds." "And remember what I said." " Whatever you say, Pops." "(faint rock music in headphones)" "(intense music)" " What took you so long?" " I made it as quickly as I could," "I was clear across the lot." " You're not as young as you used to be." "I tried calling you at the main gate before, why didn't you answer the phone?" " I must have caught it just as you hung up." " Well let's be a little more efficient from now on." "How's the new boy doing?" " Fine, fine." "But I really need to get back." " Just a minute, I want talk to you about these beer cans I found in the front gate." "(ominous music)" " So there's nothing down here." "I wonder what they keep in here." "Yoohoo, Mr. McCreedy?" "(growling)" "Is somebody there?" "(growling)" "Is somebody there?" "(radio static)" " I'll give you a report in the morning." "(feedback squealing)" "(crowd cheering)" "(rock music)" "(cries out)" "(creepy music)" "(door slams shut)" "(eerie music)" " Another one quit?" "!" "What was the problem this time?" " I'm not sure what the problem was, sir." " It wasn't something you said to him, was it?" " [McCreedy] It could have been." " I'm holding you responsible for this, McCreedy." "Every time we hire a new guard he only lasts for a couple of weeks, then he's gone." "How many is it now, three, four?" " It's three, and I really don't think you need to hire anyone else." "I can run the post myself." " Look, you've been here for a long time." "You know as well as I do that we need to have a second guard ready so he can fill in for you if you can't make it here some night." " But I've never missed a night since I've been here!" " You're not as young as you used to be, we need to be prepared." "Do you know that if something were to happen to this studio while no one was on duty, our insurance is voided?" " This place has been deserted for almost 30 years." " Stop making excuses." "I want you to hire a new guard, and this time hire one who will stick around for a while." "Or else I'll hire two." " So, Kevin, is this the first time that you've worked as a security guard?" " Yes sir, but I'm a very fast learner, and I promise to try extra hard." "And I really need the job." " Well you sound very mature for your age." "You don't own one of those portable radios with headphones, do you?" " No sir." " That's good, I think we'll get along just fine." "Now, are you ready for your first tour of the lot?" " Oh, oh yes sir, even prepared to take notes." " It's not that complicated." "You've never been on a studio lot like this before, have you?" " No sir." " Well, it's not that difficult to keep track of." "Now there isn't much goes on here anymore." " How long have you been working here?" " Oh, quite a while." "About 30 years, actually." "And I've never missed a day and had to have someone fill in for me." " 30 years, that's amazing." " Well, not really." "You know, time becomes sort of a blur when you reach a certain age." "Sometime I'll tell you what this place was like when it was still a functioning studio." " I'd like to hear about that." "(mysterious music)" " Now Kevin, if I told you that something was very important, you'd listen to me, wouldn't you?" " Of course." " Good." "Now there is a part of this lot that I want you to stay away from." "I don't want to have to explain all the details to you," "I just want you to promise to stay clear of it." " I understand." " Now this is the part I was telling you about." " What's down there?" " It's just a lot of dangerous machinery." "Now don't go in there and take the chance of injuring yourself, do you understand?" " Yeah." " Good, now I don't want to have to remind you a second time." "Just stay clear of this area." " So is there anything else I need to be made aware of?" " There is one other thing." "This is what I was telling you about." "Oh, but don't worry, I've never had to use it." " Really?" " That's right, not in all the years I've been here." "But I would like to show you how to use it sometime though, you never know when you might need it." "(ominous music)" " Hi." " Not now, your friends are here." " Hey, how's it going?" " What'd you bring, some new music?" " No, I just rented a videotape that Amy and I were gonna watch." " Well that was very nice." " Let me see what you got." "What?" "Don't you ever get any tapes from the adult section?" "My boyfriend would never bring me a tape that didn't have at least a single X rating." " Well Kevin isn't like that." "He would never want me to see anything that was rated X." "Would you?" " No, I wouldn't." "(horn beeps)" " Oh right man, I'd recognize that horn anywhere, that's my Nick." "Back from two months of army training, and you know what a man wants when he's been away for two months." " No, what does he want?" " Woo!" "It's been two months!" "♪ Whoa everybody have sex tonight" "(laughing)" " Wish that were our theme song." " Did you say something?" " No, no." " I wanna hear about everything you did in basic training." " Well we had to get up every morning about 4 am, you know?" " Sounds like loads of fun." " Then there was calisthenics, a daily run for six miles." " Oh, I bet you got really sweaty." " Oh, you know I did." "After that, firing range." "(imitating gunfire)" "And tear gas training." "Then there was infiltration course." " Big deal, I have access to a gun where I work." " Yeah well it's a big difference between having something and knowing how to use it." " Would it be okay if I used your phone?" " Yeah, sure." "Who you gonna call?" " My girlfriend." " Hey we ever gonna get a chance to meet this girl?" " Uh, I don't think so, she's kind of shy." " What else did you do with the gun?" " Well I haven't actually had a chance to fire it yet, but" " I was talking to Nick." " Then we had target practice." "But I never had an actual chance to shoot anyone." "Yet." " Shooting someone, is that real important to you?" " Well, yeah!" "(sultry music)" "(phone ringing)" " Hi, it's me Fantasia." "Thanks for calling." "I'm going to see a movie today." "It's only rated PG." "I want you to show up and make it rated X." "Sneak in the rear door and when the lights go down, drop your pants and show me a full moon." "Wave that lunar eclipse and block the projection beam." "Next, pull me down and roll me on those sticky floors." "Lick that artificial butter flavor off my body." "Hold, please." "Then take my clothes and leave me naked so that when the lights come up, I'll be the second feature." " You sure that's not long distance?" " No, it's not." " That's good." "Because I have to keep calling the phone company every month because of all these sex line calls being billed to my number." " Really?" "That's too bad." " Thanks for calling." "A new adventure awaits you tomorrow." "(dial tone)" " Oh yeah, and then we spend all afternoon studying hand to hand combat." " I know about the techniques you have with your hands." "Tell us about something else." " Yeah, could we change the subject already?" " Why don't you pay attention and maybe you'll learn something." "Nick is protecting our country." "And you're just guarding some rundown deserted dump." " What did you say?" " Why don't you be nice to Nick and maybe he'll teach you something." " Yeah I could teach you all about hand to hand combat, with no problem." " Yeah." " Well go on, I know you can do it." " Look, I said I wasn't interested, okay?" " Come on." " You're gonna love this." " I don't wanna do this." " Here, take this." "Okay, no no no, hold it like this." "Okay, now block every move that I make." "I'm gonna take it really slow on you." "So watch out 'cause here comes the first one!" " Go Kevin!" "Show him you can do it!" " Go Nick, kick his butt!" "(exciting music)" "Oh, he's getting so sweaty already." "Yeah, go for it!" "(hits) (cries out)" " Ah!" "(cries out)" " You give up?" " Yes!" " My hero!" " You really humiliated me." " What?" "I didn't even want to do this, it was your idea." " I don't care whose idea it was," "I wanted you to win." " How was I supposed to win, Amy?" "I've never even done this before." "It was an unfair match." " You looked really pathetic." " What do you want me to do for you?" " I want you to make me proud." " Come and get it!" " Gimme that, Nick." " What's the matter, Kevin?" " It's really a long story." " I've got all the time in the world." " What do you do about someone who you can never make happy?" " Is this your girlfriend we're talking about?" "I don't know what to tell you." "What's the exact problem?" " Well, we've got this friend who's in the army, and my girlfriend's upset because I couldn't do all the things that he can." " I see." "Did I ever tell you what I did when I was in the army?" " No." " Oh, it's also a long story." "(beeping)" "Uh-oh." "Looks like we've got company." "(ominous music)" " Hey." " Wait here, I'll call you if I need you." " But Mr. McCreedy" " I said wait." "Oh!" " Shut up." "(intense music)" " Get away from him." " Who's this, your grandson?" " No, he's my partner." " I said, get away from him." " Who are you kidding?" "You don't know how to use that." "(gunshot)" "(coughing)" " Are you okay?" "Do you want me to call an ambulance?" " No no, I'm fine." " Damn." " What's the matter?" " I just wish Amy could've been here to see what I just did." " He's still on the lot." " What do we do now?" " I'm going to call the police." "Try to locate where he is, but keep a distance from him." "Don't try to be a hero." "(suspenseful music)" " Mr. McCreedy?" "I'm going down that hallway where all the machinery is." "I think he went down there." "I'm going in for a closer look." " Good God, the vault!" "Kevin!" "Stop whatever you're doing!" "Don't go near the vault no matter what you do, don't go near the vault!" " Amy, I wanna make you proud." "(growling)" " We're too late!" "Kevin, why did you go in there?" "Why didn't you listen to me?" " What's going on?" "(exciting music)" "(growling)" " Oh, if you only knew what you just did." " I don't understand!" "What just happened?" " The vault, I tried to warn you." "Those creatures, the vault, I tried." "All my work, 30 years I've been trying to prevent this from happening." " To prevent what from happening?" " Those creatures." "Why do you think I spent the last 30 years of my life here?" "I was keeping them from escaping." "I was young when I began to work here, and the studio was busy and prosperous." "I'll always remember the night that it happened." "It was late, there was hardly anyone around." "I didn't even know what it was at first." "It was all so fast, just a flash of light and then a sudden explosion." "I stepped out to see what it was, but there was no one else there except for me." "It was right in the middle of the lot." "Had it been daytime, it probably would have been crushed in all the traffic." "I just stared at it for a long time." "I didn't know what to make of it." "And then suddenly it moved." "And out from the top of the disc came this small creature, a sort of hobgoblin." "It looked around and then it stared right at me." "I didn't move, I just kept watching him." "Looked so friendly at first." "If only I'd known what lay ahead." " But I still don't understand." " I let the creatures live on the lot, it was my secret." "And then I learned of the power they had." "I still don't know if they figured they were doing good for people or not." "They slowly began to destroy everyone on the lot." "They would find a person, tap into his brain, and then create his wildest fantasy." "It seemed harmless at first, I mean, watching everyone around me becoming rich or famous, but for most people" "what they really want in life can be very dangerous." "In fact, the creatures wound up destroying everyone, everyone they came in contact with." "They're, they're, they're loose in the city now." " But you could warn everyone." "They'd listen to your story." " Would they?" "No one believed me 30 years ago." "I went straight to the head of the studio and tried to explain it to him." "He didn't believe me, no one did." "I just watched helplessly as people around me were destroyed, one by one." " Then what can we do?" " I'm too old to catch up with them now, but you might still have a chance." "There aren't very many of them, but they move quickly." "Just remember, they're attracted to bright lights, that's how you can fight them." "Watch everyone around you." "When a person begins to act strangely, it means that one of the creatures have tapped into his mind." "When this happens, the creature is never far away." "Find it and kill it before it's too late." "Because when the creature dies, the fantasy ends and the victim is safe." "Now remember, they're only attracted to bright light." "That's how you find them." "But you must destroy them all before dawn because once it's daylight, it's too late." " Okay." " You'll never be able to stop them." "(ominous music)" "(record scratch)" "(dance music)" " Alright!" "(growling)" "Come on Amy, would you get with it?" "(growling)" "(horn beeps)" "That car horn, I'd recognize it anywhere!" "(horn beeps)" "See you guys later." "Much later." "That's weird." "Maybe he's circling the block or something." " I brought your jacket." "I thought you might be cold out here." " Yeah, thanks a lot." " Where's Nick?" "I thought I heard his horn before." " So did I." " Well maybe you should wait inside until you see him." " He's just looking for a place to park, now would you go back in the house?" " There's plenty of parking in front, maybe it wasn't his horn?" " Look, I'm positive it was." "Maybe the police just pulled him over for all his warrants or something." "Now would you just go back in the house?" " Fine, I get the message." " Just take this stupid jacket with you." "Damnit Nick, where the hell are you?" "(growling)" "Amy, would you just go back in the house and leave me alone?" "And would you stop breathing all over me?" "(growls)" "(screaming)" " Sounds like Nick finally got here." " Get the fuck off me!" " She must be happy to see him." " Take that, you little bastard!" " Honestly, couldn't Nick wait?" "(screaming)" "(growling)" "Go on, grab it!" " It's like a new dance." "Looks pretty kinky." "Hey guys!" " Nick, thank God you're here!" "Something wild came out of the woods and attacked us!" " I know I'm here to take ya out." " Oh it's those rabid animals!" "(screaming)" "(growling)" "I knew I'd find a use for this." "Just open the door and stand back." " Oh my God, what do you call that?" " Urban renewal." " Wait!" "No, put that out!" "(growling)" "You guys okay?" " Yeah, I'm just peachy." " I had everything under control." " Good, then you can finish off your van." " I don't understand, what were those things?" " It's a long story." "What they do to your body is nothing compared to what they do to your mind." " Don't have to worry about that." " You sure you're all okay?" "I mean, you don't feel anything different, do you?" " I think I wet my pants." "Hey, I was only kidding." " And none of you have a desire to do anything you've never done before, right?" " I don't think there's anything left that we haven't done before." " How 'bout you, Amy?" " Well actually I do wanna try this new Chinese restaurant that I heard about." " Kyle?" " Could I use your telephone again?" "I wanna call my girlfriend." " We still haven't met this mystery girl of yours, what kind of relationship do the two of you have?" " I guess you'd say it's a fantasy relationship." "(ominous music)" "(growling)" "(phone ringing)" " Hi, it's me, Fantasia." "Thanks for calling." "I need a new house pet to impress my friends." "Now hurry before the zookeeper comes, help me hide this iguana on my body." "Uh, can I help you, miss?" "Oh yes Mr. Beastmaster, something just crawled up my leg." "Oh, see if you can find it." "I think you'd better come back to my office with me." "Now wait a minute, are you sure your office is in the baboon pit?" "Mister zookeeper, what do you think you're doing?" "This isn't the children's petting zoo." "I have a new house pet for you, miss, ha ha ha ha ha." "Oh, mister zookeeper, I could never take a cockatoo that size." "(record scratch)" "Now stop wasting your money calling me." "I'm right outside your door." "Don't keep me waiting, lover." "(dial tone)" "(suspenseful music)" "(coyote howling)" " Where's Kyle?" "Didn't you guys see where he went?" " [All] No." " Do you, do you kiss on the first date?" " I go all the way on the first date." " My kind of woman." "My place or yours?" " Neither, we'll go to Reputation Road." " I'll drive." "Do we have some time to get Pop Rocks and whipped cream?" " Just start the car." " Reputation Road, here we come." " Amy, quick, where's Reputation Road?" "Daphne, where's Reputation Road?" " You go down to the end of the street, make a right, go through two traffic lights and up the hill and there it is." "So I've heard." " What's going on?" " I don't have time to explain, it's about those creatures." "I've gotta go across town and get Kyle." "I want the rest of you to stay here." "Don't make a move or do anything." "And above all, don't fantasize about anything!" " You know, girls, I could think of a fantasy right now." "It's involving the number three." " Oh Fantasia, you're my ideal woman." "You're intelligent, you've got a wonderful personality, and I'll bet you're a great cook and I just know my mom's gonna love meeting you." "Will you marry me?" " Skip the ceremony, we're going straight to the honeymoon." "Oh Fantasia, baby I could watch you all night long." " If you don't go any faster we could be driving all night long." "Now hurry, I know a shortcut." "Oh, don't park here." " Why not?" " You have to park near the edge if you want to go all the way." " Oh yeah, sure." "How's that?" " Perfect." " That was some shortcut you knew about." "I never knew there was a road through the children's playground." " There isn't." "(laughs)" "Well, what are you waiting for?" " Fantasia, where are you going?" " I wanted a better view of the city." "You can see it all from here." "Now, isn't that a lovely view?" " Oh, it sure is." "Where are you going now?" " Just wait a second." "You just keep watching the view." "Just hold tight and get ready for the ride of your life." " Do it to me." "(groaning)" "You need any help?" " Would you get back inside and wait for me?" "This time don't move!" "We're almost there." "Just think nasty thoughts while you wait." "(suspenseful music)" "(groaning)" "(growling)" " Do it do me, baby." " You damn fool!" "What are you doing here?" " I want you to meet my girlfriend." "Wait 'til you see her." "Fantasia?" "Honey?" " Kyle, there's no girl." "She was a figment of your imagination." " No she's not, she's just hiding somewhere." "I told you, she's a shy girl." "Sweetie?" " Shy girl?" "That bleached blonde witch almost killed you!" "She was back there trying to push your car over the cliff!" "Hey, come on!" "(crashing)" "(explosion)" " Whoa." " Now do you believe me?" "(ominous music)" "I'll discuss my phone bill with you later." "Oh no." "They're gone!" "(growling) (crying out)" "Hit the creature!" " I'm trying to!" " Hit the creature!" "Idiot." "The creatures broke loose, are you guys okay?" " We're doing just fine." " What about Amy, where's she?" " She was acting kinda strange." " [Kevin] What?" "Where is she?" " Well she said she wanted to go to Club Scum." " What?" "Why didn't you try to stop her?" " What's the big deal?" "I've been there before." " You guys, don't you understand?" "These creatures have a power." "They can tap into your brain and sense the things that you really wanna do." " What's wrong with that?" " They also try to kill you." "I just chased Kyle across town and pulled him out of his car right before it rolled over a cliff and blew up." " It's still burning now." " You see what I'm trying to tell you guys now?" " What could happen at that nightclub?" " Well there's a lot of bikers and people fighting everywhere, and I've seen people dealing drugs and knife fights." " What?" "Oh no, come on, we've gotta go." "Come on!" " And I've seen the police arresting people there all the time for god knows what!" " Oh no, come on!" "(rock music)" "Daphne, I think you got this all wrong." "Amy would never come to a place like this." "She won't even go through the mall parking lot by herself." " Would you just listen to me." "You guys have to have a certain kind of attitude when you're in this part of town." "You've gotta look like you belong, okay?" " Yeah, I get it." " Look, would you just listen to me and nothing will happen." "Now look, I think one of us should hold all the wallets for safe-keeping." "You." "Now quiet and just be cool." " Nick, Kevin, Daphne?" "Cool, cool." " Whoa, whoa, whoa." "Where do you guys think you're going?" " We're looking for a girl in here." " You know, somehow I don't think the girls in here are gonna be your type, why don't you try the Polo Lounge up the street?" " You don't understand, we're looking for a particular girl here tonight." " Oh." "Yo, Pixie." "Haul it over here." " Yeah, what is it?" " You working here tonight?" " Pretty stupid question, of course I'm working here tonight." " No, no, I mean are you, you know, working?" " College boys." "Of course I'm working here tonight." "What'd you boys have in mind?" "Any of those fancy moves in French?" " Read my lips." "We're looking for a friend of ours who's in there." " Does she look anything like Pixie maybe?" " God, I hope not." " That's the last time I ever give you 1 0% of my tips!" " 1 0% of her what?" " Alright, that's it, you guys, you're outta here, get outta here!" "Oh, Daphne." "I didn't see you back there." " Hi!" "Roadrash!" "Long time no see." " I was sorry to hear about your boyfriend coming back from the army." "You give me a call next time he's on duty." " Ixnay on the oggiesay, okay?" " What?" " Can we go in?" " Hey, you guys are friends of Daphne's." "Go for it, knock yourselves out." " Do you guys see her anywhere?" " Would you just sit down before everyone starts staring at us?" " Oh, you must be here for the wet T-shirt contest tonight." " Wet T-Shirt contest?" " Donkey mud wrestling?" " Donkey mud wrestling?" " Get lucky night?" " No." " Oh, I'm sorry, the donkey mud wrestlers are supposed to use the rear entrance." "Enjoy the show." " Hey Daphne." " Hi Daph." " Sit down." " How well do you know those guys?" " It's just platonic." " Oh really?" " Oh would you just shut up, okay?" " Hey, you guys aren't much of a help, you know." "We're supposed to be looking for Amy." " Well why don't you try looking under the tables?" " Yeah, Daphne's an expert on being under the tables here." "What color are the rugs, Daph?" " Same color as the carpet burns on my knees, Nick." "(clears throat)" "(feedback squealing)" " Greetings lowlifes, and welcome to Club Scum." " Hey get off the stage, you idiot!" "(rock music)" "♪ Why work for something when you can" "♪ Steal it" "♪ It's always been my philosophy" "♪ A little of this and a whole lot" "♪ Lot of that, I want it all" "♪ Cause then I want some more" "♪ Kiss kicker 99, kiss kicker!" "♪ 99 girls, 99 boys" "♪ Kiss kicker!" "99 reasons to live, kiss kicker!" "♪ 99 girls, 99 boys, boot licker!" "♪ Kiss kicker 99" "♪ Why live for something when you can" "♪ Kill it" "♪ It's always been my philosophy" "♪ Ya shove and get shoved and ya" "♪ Shovel more shit!" "♪ And I want it all" "♪ Then I want some more" "♪ Kiss kicker 99, kiss kicker!" "♪ 99 girls, 99 boys, boot licker!" "♪ 99 reasons to live, kiss kicker!" "♪ 99 girls, 99 boys, boot licker!" "♪ Kiss kicker 99" "♪ You live and let live or you live and let die" "♪ I want it all" "♪ Cause I want some more" "♪ Kiss kicker 99, kiss kicker 99!" "♪ 99 girls, 99 boys, boot licker!" "♪ 99 reasons to live, kiss kicker!" "♪ 99 girls, 99 boys, boot licker!" "♪ Kiss kicker 99, kiss kicker!" "♪ 99 boys, 99 girls, 99 reasons to live" "♪ Kiss kicker!" "99 girls, 99 boys, boot licker!" "♪ 99 reasons to die!" "(cheering and whistling)" " Can I get you guys something to drink here?" " Maybe later." " There's a two drink minimum here." " Look, we're all underage, okay." " Roadrash, come here, quick." " Yeah, yeah, yeah, what is it?" " None of these kids are 21 yet." " Alright." "How many fake IDs we need here?" " This says I'm 40 and handicapped." " So what?" "You got a problem with that, junior?" " No, I'll limp." " And now, Club Scum is proud to present a new headliner." "Appearing nudely and nightly, Miss Amy Sincere." "(sexy music)" " Oh my God." "Amy, get off the stage!" " Hey, sit down and shut up." "(cheers and whistles)" " I don't know, but I think it's sort of an improvement." " So do I." " I bet you showed her how to do that, huh Daphne?" " Well, what do you think folks?" "Is she a hit or a miss?" "(cheering and whistling)" " Amy, you don't know what you're doing!" "Get off the stage!" "Amy!" "Amy get off the stage!" " Stop interrupting the show!" " I want you to treat me like dirt." "Spill your drinks on me." "Show everyone that I'm not wearing any underwear." "Take me under the table and use me." "Make me." "Your woman." " My bike's right outside." "I live right around the corner, you know what I mean?" " Look, she's just drunk." "She doesn't even know what she's saying." "She's never even been on the back of a motorcycle, she's terrified of them." " Riding a motorcycle is like sitting on the world's largest vibrator." " Miss Sincere, you're my kinda woman." " Amy Sincere's only my stage name." "Do you wanna know my real name?" " Tell it to me on your knees, baby." " Break it up you two!" " Look, I'm not into the number three." "Get outta here you jerk!" " Would you guys stop sitting there and help me?" " Why don't you help him, Daphne?" "You seem to have a way with all the men in this place." "Sergeant Parker, what are you doing here?" " At ease, Private." "I'm out on a weekend pass." "I hear Pixie's working tonight." " You go out in public in full uniform?" " A real soldier dies with his boots on." " This way, this way!" "(growling)" " What's going on here?" " Just a problem involving some small predators, sir." "(growling)" " I see." "Sort of a marauding attack." " Yes sir." "I believe that we need to stage a diversion!" " Private!" "Who's in command here?" " You are, sir." " Then I'll make the decisions." "We need to stage a diversion." "And I have just what you need." "(growling)" " The crowd here tonight." "(growling)" "Pixie." "Did I ever tell you that I was a talent scout for a major motion picture studio?" " Did I ever tell you that I've always been attracted to men of your stature?" " Oh, Pixie, Pixie, Pixie!" "(giggling and moaning)" "(screams)" " What the hell are you doing?" " Here." " Kevin, Kevin, I got one of them." " Good, let's hope it's the right one." " Oh Roadrash, do it to me." "Oh!" " Kevin, quick, you've gotta stop him." " Alright, Daphne can stay but I want you two outta here." " Hey, you gotta stop him, look!" "(explosions)" "(screaming)" " What's all that shouting?" " It's me faking my orgasm for you." "(explosions)" " Wait a second." "(screaming)" " Wait, stop, come back!" "(suspenseful music)" "(growling)" "(screaming)" " Can you still fake your orgasms for me?" " Fake this!" " Hey look, there's Amy!" "Amy, are you okay?" " I'm not sure." "Why am I dressed like a rock video slut?" " It's a long story, I'll explain later." " You there." "Name, rank, serial number." " Don't shoot me, I'm just an employee." "I don't even book the talent here." " Sergeant, can't you stop him?" " Why?" "This is the best training he's ever had." "You could never get this at boot camp." " You call that training?" "He could kill somebody." " War isn't pretty." " Daphne and Nick are still inside, we gotta try and help 'em." " Wait." "I have a special mission for you." " You do?" " Yes." "Have you ever considered joining the USO?" " The USO?" " Yes, think of it." "Entertain the troops, doing your part for our country." "A small but patriotic gesture that would be appreciated by our boys off fighting around the world." " I'll do it!" " Good!" "You can start right away." "I've got a truckload of soldiers out in the parking lot." "If you start now you can be finished with them by morning." " What?" "Nick, do something, your Sergeant's after me." "Just shoot him!" " One more time, babe." "Here, do it yourself." " Stop wasting time." " Nick!" " Maybe I should send Nick off to some third world country." "That'll give you all the time that you need." " Let go of me!" " Or maybe I should get Nick out of the picture altogether." "Nick, this is your sergeant speaking!" "Save the troops!" "That's an order!" " Nick!" "No, don't do it!" "(explosion)" "(screaming)" " That truck of soldiers is waiting outside." "It'll be a dream come true." "(growling)" " My dream can come true right now." "(explosion)" "I got the last of 'em." "(magical chimes)" " Must've been a rowdy crowd tonight." " Hey, hey, hey Miss Sincere." "You know I really liked that show you were doing inside." " Okay scumball, the show is over, why don't you just climb back under your rock?" " Daphne, I could've done that." " Oh, sorry." " Amy, I want you to know that I'll always be there for you." " Well you know, no one's ever really noticed me before like that." "I mean, I've always just been thought of as Daphne's friend." "This is the first time somebody came up to me like that." "I kinda liked it." " Amy I meant what I said." "I'm gonna prove it to you." " Where is he?" "Mr. Comstock, I wasn't sure if you'd still be here this late." " I'm on my way out the door." "What do you want now?" " The creatures have broken loose." "The same ones I tried to warn you about when I first got my job here." " Are you gonna try to tell me that same story about the hobgoblins again?" " Yes sir." "I'm glad you still remember about them." " How could I forget that nonsense?" "Now get outta here and get back to work." " But you don't understand." "They broke loose tonight, they're out there somewhere in the city!" "I already sent the other guard out to try to find them." " What?" "You mean there's no one manning the front gate right now?" " No sir." " This is preposterous." "You do know that if something were to happen to this studio while no one was on duty, our insurance will refuse to pay off?" " Yes sir." " Well then get back on your post." " You're not listening!" "I want to go out and find him." "He must need my help by now!" " You are not going to leave your job to go out and chase some foolishness." "If you walk off this lot, you are fired." " Well good." "Saves me the trouble of quitting." " Mr. McCreedy?" " Hey there." "We have a score to settle." "(intense music)" " Amy, this time I'm gonna make you proud." "(punching)" " Amy, I think Kevin's proved his bravery to you, would you tell him to stop before he kills himself?" " For God's sake Kevin, stop before he kills you!" " Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose." " No!" "(gunshot)" "(screams)" "(magical chimes)" " I'm sorry for sending you out on your own." "I should have known the creatures would try to destroy you, also." " Where are they going now?" " Back to their home in the vault." "Hurry, there isn't much time left." " Kevin, wait." "(sultry music)" "Don't take too long." "I'll be waiting." " Let's go!" "(suspenseful music)" " Do you think" " Shhh." "I was right about them." "They're back inside." " Well maybe we should get closer and lock them back inside again." " No, I've spent 30 years guarding them, and I was fired from my job tonight." "I won't be around here to keep an eye on them." " You were fired?" "Well, maybe I could guard them from now on." " Oh no, I don't want you to throw your life away the way I had to." "There is a better way." " Did you find them?" " Yeah, they're back inside the vault." " What are you gonna do to them?" " I don't know." " Kevin." "Did I ever tell you what I did in the war?" " No." " Munitions." "(beeping)" "(explosion)" "Isn't it ironic that they should pick a movie studio to land?" "Unless they figured they belonged in a dream factory." " You were my hero tonight." " What?" "Are you sure?" " Yeah, I'm sure." " Daphne?" " Yeah." " This is for you." " Really?" "No one's ever given me flowers before." " Oh, but there's lots of things I could show you for the first time." "Nick." " Nick?" " [Amy] Nick?" " Nick!" " Daph, baby!" "Told you guys I had everything under control." "Daphne." " Nicky." " [Both] Van!" " Hello, Mr. Comstock." "Yes, I realize what time it is." "I'm sorry to wake you, sir, but there's been an accident at the studio." "The film vault blew up." "Yes, the building is still smoldering." "Yes, I realize about the insurance, but you fired me earlier." "There was no one on duty when it happened." " [Voiceover] What are you talking about?" "What do you mean" " Excuse me, sir." "Could I use your phone?" "(upbeat rock music)" "♪ If I can't have you nobody can" "♪ If I can't have you nobody can" "♪ But I want you so bad I'm gonna die" "♪ Well I can smell you in my mind" "♪ And taste you in my soul" "♪ You're everything that this boy" "♪ Could ever want" "♪ But you left me without nothing' girl" "♪ A failure a guilty man" "♪ But memories fill up the wall" "♪ Passion kills" "♪ Passion kills" "♪ If I can't have you nobody can" "♪ If I can't have you nobody can" "♪ Desire starts to pump in me" "♪ A flame through my body and I'm burning hot" "♪ You're everything that this boy" "♪ Could ever want" "♪ But you've left me without nothing' girl" "♪ A failure a guilty man" "♪ The memories fill up the wall" "♪ Passion kills" "♪ Passion kills" "♪ So I sit in the dream of you girl" "♪ Then I watch you undress" "♪ My heart's about to pop through my chest" "♪ Passion kills" "♪ Passion kills" "♪ If I can't have you nobody can" "♪ If I can't have you nobody can" "♪ You're everything that this boy" "♪ Could ever want" " Just remember, the next time that you see a movie that's only rated PG, I want you to make it rated X." "(giggles)"