"DOG BARKS" "I have a warrant from the Cardinal, for the immediate arrest of your prisoner Martin Labarge." "He's already under arrest for the murder of two Musketeers." "Ah." "Well, you're to hand him over to us for questioning." "It's not safe here." "I want it noted he's a very dangerous man." "Duly noted." "Very well." "HORSE WHINNIES" "Don't say we didn't warn you." "CLICKS TONGUE" "Come on, Labarge!" "This should be fun." "Yaaah!" "Huargh!" "HORSE WHINNIES" "Huargh!" "Huargh!" "Aargh!" "I think they need our help." "They're just too shy to ask." "GRUNTS AND GROANS" "Stay out of this, damn you!" "Come on!" "Musketeer scum!" "It's your fault that Captain Trudeau is dead!" "BLADES RING" "Captain Trudeau was given fair warning." "His own arrogance killed him." "Labarge is a regional Intendant." "You had no business arresting him without coming to me first." "Your Intendant is a violent criminal, who subjected Gascony to a reign of terror." "I went to Gascony once." "It's full of sheep and hedges." "It is true that Labarge exceeded his authority, but I was in the process of recalling him to Paris before Captain Treville so recklessly intervened." "The Red Guards put innocent lives at risk!" "The Musketeers were lucky my guards didn't kill them." "Oh, really?" "You know what?" "Any of my Musketeers could thrash any of your Red Guards at any time!" "1,000 livres Captain Treville is right." "Each side to choose his champion in a contest to settle the matter." "What do you say, Cardinal?" "Do you accept the wager?" "Shall we say...2,000 livres?" "Oh!" "Did you miss me?" "Not at all!" "Hm." "This is so wrong." "I just wish it felt wrong." "Then I'd know what to do." "If you've changed your mind...?" "DOOR OPENS" "Your rent is overdue." "My apologies for that, Monsieur." "I haven't received any income from my farm for the last two months." "Well, you've put yourself in a reckless position." "You're a farmer who neglects his land and a would-be Musketeer with no commission in sight." "I could point out your folly, but, er...perhaps it's not necessary." "TREVILLE:" "Gentlemen!" "Finally we have the opportunity to prove what we have always known." "That technically..." "What's going on?" "There is to be a competition between the Musketeers and the Red Guards." "Yeah, each side will choose a champion, to settle the issue of which regiment is greater." "As if it were in doubt." "How will this champion be chosen?" "There will be competitive trials... ..and a 30-livres entry fee." "MEN MUTTER 30?" "It forms a prize purse." "Winner takes all." "Why didn't you say so before, huh?" "This isn't about money." "This is about the honour of the Musketeers." "One man amongst you will have the honour of representing me." "When that man defeats and humiliates the Musketeer champion... ..I will double his prize money." "Now, which of you here is the greatest fighter?" "Captain Trudeau was the best man in the regiment..." "before Labarge killed him." "A pig wouldn't eat that." "Eat it or starve, Labarge." "HE SCREAMS" "Monsieur Labarge to you." "Agh!" "Well, gentlemen, may the best man amongst us win." "Those of us who are allowed to compete." "You are a Musketeer in all but name." "All you lack is the King's commission." "Go to Treville." "Ask him." "There is just the thorny issue of the entry fee." "Anyone got it?" "My pockets are empty and the cupboard is bare." "Yeah, I just pawned my cupboard." "Porthos, my friend," "I think it's time for us to go fishing for a patroness." "Needs must." "Deliver, O Lord, the souls of the faithful departed from the chains of..." "Who are the departed?" "Head of the candle-makers' guild died a year ago... leaving his widow very rich." "Fourth pew, left side." "Madame Laurent has a thing about Musketeers." "Hm." "Many brave men have gone there, but few have returned." "Mm." "Fifth pew, right side." "Madame Marchand." "In possession of one indifferent husband..." "Hm...three lovers and five small and irritating dogs." "PRIEST: "Whither I go ye know, and the way ye know."" "And Thomas said unto him, "Lord, we know not where thou goest." ""How can we know..." Easy does it." "Yeah?" "It's a Requiem Mass, not a party at Madame Angel's." "The truth and the light..." "I need your permission to compete." "I'm ready." "There's no guarantee you'll win." "You know that." "I'm not asking for a favour, only for the chance to prove myself." "HE SIGHS" "You'd be up against the very best." "I know." "D'Artagnan, there's no easy way to tell you this." "I've just received a list of charges against Labarge from the Cardinal." "Your farm was one of the properties destroyed by Labarge." "Apparently, he did it as a warning to other local landowners." "He knew your father was greatly respected amongst them." "That farm was my only source of income." "I'll make sure justice is done, if that's any comfort." "Justice won't pay the rent." "SWORDS CLASH" "LOW CHATTER" "My condolences, Madame." "Your husband, er...he was a great man." "And a great candle-maker." "Well, which goes without saying." "I don't believe we've been introduced." "Porthos, of the King's Musketeers." "A Musketeer, no less?" "How did you meet him?" "Ah, well, it's..." "It was at an event." "You know, we both attended the same one, you know, obviously." "It was ages ago now." "It was, um..." "Of course, it was the reception at the palace, when the heads of guilds were presented to the King..." "Yes." "Yeah." "..and there were those peculiar courtiers." "One of them was dressed as a Roman general and wore a lilac-blue wig." "Comte de Simonet." "Yeah, thinks he was Mark Antony in a previous life." "Cleopatra, more likely." "Um... ..perhaps I can escort you to your carriage." "Oh, I walked here today." "Oh." "I know that's considered rather shocking." "But..." "Oh, no, no, no." "I have been cooped up indoors for so long." "Then allow me to walk you home." "SHE CHUCKLES" "The contest is my only chance." "I have to win that prize, I just need to raise the entrance fee." "30 livres is a lot of money." "You don't have to remind me." "First I lose my father and then I lose his farm." "No money, no prospects." "I honestly can't think what you see in me." "Everything will be fine." "You'll raise the money and... you'll win the contest." "I know you will." "Where am I going to find 30 livres?" "Well, this is..." "A treat, for coming out of mourning." "It's probably not the done thing." "But a year is a long time in black crepe." "Well, the done thing just means following someone else's ideas." "And you followed your own." "BOTH CHUCKLE" "I, um...hope you've come hungry." "I've...planned a rather full menu." "I'm always hungry." "BOTH LAUGH" "This way." "Well, at least you're surrounded by your husband's things." "Keeps his memory alive, I imagine." "I suppose so, yes." "Having something to remember him by must be a great comfort." "Hmm?" "Of course." "Well, you should have a token for yourself." "Oh, no." "Selfish of me not to think of it." "Er...would you like his shaving bowl and brush?" "Or... ..his candle snuffer?" "No...no, no, no." "Er..." "I couldn't, er..." "That must be worth 30 livres at least." "I should say so." "It's solid gold." "Hm." "I insist you have it." "Charles used it every day of his life." "I'd be honoured." "Leave justice to the courts." "You fought for this chance." "Now fight to prove you're ready." "I am ready." "What?" "You have natural talent, but too often you let your emotions run away with you." "Talent won't keep you alive if your heart rules your head." "Can we just get on with it?" "My point in a nutshell." "I hear an ordinary prison isn't good enough for Labarge." "He's in the Bastille, living in comfort... ..his every whim attended to." "Imagine him there, living the life of a king." "A-A-Argh!" "Every soldier has an Achilles heel." "Control that, and you control the fight." "So, Labarge is in the Bastille, is he?" "SWORDS RING" "I was trying to provoke him." "You succeeded." "Keep an eye on him." "Cardinal!" "I wish to talk to you about Labarge." "He destroyed my property and sold everything I own." "There are many claims against him." "No doubt his trial will establish the truth of them." "What am I supposed to live on until then?" "What, still no commission from the Musketeers?" "How disappointing." "But there are other regiments." "Other regiments like the Red Guards?" "Why not?" "A young man of talent and ambition might flourish under my patronage." "I'll take my chances, thank you." "As you wish." "What about Labarge?" "If he confesses, you may well receive some form of recompense." "If not..." "As a citizen of France, I demand my rights!" "You demand nothing of me!" "CLICKS FINGERS" "DOOR CLOSES" "I feel almost sorry for him, lodging with that miserly cloth merchant Bonacieux." "First Athos and now d'Artagnan?" "Your fascination with these Musketeers seems inexhaustible." "I do everything for you." "Permit me to doubt that." "There was a time I found your independence of spirit arousing." "I must warn you, Milady, that time has now passed." "HORSE WHINNIES" "STREET CHATTER" "RAISED VOICES" "Let go of me!" "I'm innocent!" "I love the King!" "Whatever it is, I didn't do it!" "Hup!" "Hyaah!" "Hyaah!" "I understand you're a cloth merchant?" "The house of Bonacieux has been in business for three generations." "My grandfather, Jean Bonacieux..." "I'm sure he was a visionary amongst drapers." "Now, I may be in need of a new supplier to my Red Guards." "The contract is a lucrative one." "But the merchant must be someone I can trust." "Then how might I prove it?" "I am interested... in your lodger, d'Artagnan." "I want you to find out who he sees, where he goes, and in particular if he has any clandestine female companions." "You want me to spy on him?" "I can see you are a man of quick intelligence." "It will be my honour to serve you." "I'm sure it will." "LOW CHATTER" "HE CRIES OUT" "You're early." "Are you complaining?" "No." "Watch out." "He's a monster." "So I hear." "DOOR CREAKS" "THUNDERCLAP" "ROLLING THUNDER" "Wake up, Labarge." "THUNDER CRACKS" "I know you!" "What are you?" "A Red Guard now?" "What do you want?" "My name is d'Artagnan of Lupiac in Gascony." "You burned down my farm." "Ha!" "I've burned down a lot of farms." "What makes you think I can remember yours?" "I want your full confession." "Without it, I will not get justice." "I don't see what good a confession is to you...with a broken neck." "Ha!" "Huargh!" "Huh!" "Huh!" "You will give me that confession." "You know what I like about cutting people's throats?" "It stops them talking." "Huargh!" "Huargh!" "Ha!" "Huargh!" "Agh!" "Let him go." "THUNDERCLAP" "Get out!" "ROLLING THUNDER" "What did I tell you about thinking before you act?" "I couldn't help it." "I'm not like you." "You are." "More than you know." "Come on." "Get some rest." "We'll train tomorrow." "You're grown careless, Athos." "I could have killed you just now." "Shall we call this... ..neutral ground?" "If you wish." "I won't attack a defenceless woman." "Your face is full of questions." "Ask me anything you want." "THUNDER CRACKS" "What is your connection with the Cardinal?" "I have to make a living somehow." "What better patron could I have?" "What exactly do you do for him?" "I'm a soldier, just like you." "Well, perhaps we're not quite the same." "But we all have to exploit our natural... talents." "You still wear my locket?" "Why?" "Sometimes..." "Sometimes I ask myself the same question." "Shall I show you why?" "Do you really think I could forget... who you are and what you did?" "ROLLING THUNDER" "It seems neither of us can forget the past." "I give you fair warning, Athos." "Leave me alone." "Or you'll regret it." "Every taunt is an attempt to distract you, to discover your vulnerabilities and exploit them." "Last night, you let your hatred of Labarge overcome your judgment." "Your trip to the Bastille was a childish mistake." "I thought you had brains, but clearly not." "I know what you're doing." "That kind of stupidity is exactly why you're not ready to be a Musketeer." "You don't mean that?" "Of course not, but unfortunately... ..you're now dead." "Your Eminence!" "To what do I owe this honour?" "You overstepped the limits, Labarge." "You ruled Gascony like a petty tyrant." "Well, people don't like paying their taxes." "I just gave them a bit of encouragement." "Perhaps if all the taxes you collected had reached the Treasury," "I'd be inclined to overlook your excesses." "Well, I suppose that was always my problem." "I never knew how much greed was enough." "Maybe I should have took a leaf out of your book, and followed your career a little closer." "I, er... have a proposal for you." "Well, I hope it involves me not getting executed." "It might." "Mm, I'm not sure." "It's not the best quality." "I can give you 20 livres for the lot." "I need 30." "Even at 20, I'm giving you the bread out of our children's mouths." "I'll throw in a baguette." "For 30 I'd want a bonus." "In your dreams." "I'm only doing this cos I like you." "I believe this is something you need." "30 livres." "Is that right?" "How did you know?" "I've taken an interest in you, d'Artagnan, and it's not as though we're strangers, is it?" "What's the catch?" "Well, how suspicious you've grown since coming to Paris!" "There is no catch." "I simply want you to compete." "I'll accept it - as a loan." "I'll pay you back when I win." "Hm." "HE CLEARS HIS THROAT" "What's this?" "A little good-luck charm." "And a token of my friendship." "What did she want?" "She just gave me the money so I can compete." "You shouldn't have taken it." "Don't worry." "I can handle her." "Are you sure about that?" "There's no need to be jealous." "There's no need to be an idiot." "Who else is just going to walk up and hand me 30 livres?" "No-one." "GLASSES CLINK" "Your husband was a lucky man." "HE CHUCKLES" "Food gave him no pleasure." "Mm?" "He saw self-discipline as a moral virtue." "Oh." "SHE CHUCKLES" "I imagine soldiers are very disciplined, too." "When they're fighting." "Off duty, well..." "Porthos?" "Can I ask..." "It might... ..sound..." "Hm?" "..strange." "It doesn't matter." "A year's a long time without a kiss." "It's been a great deal longer than that." "How he resisted you, I have no idea." "But like I said... ..self-discipline isn't my strong suit." "Nor mine." "Wrong door!" "DOOR CREAKS" "LOW CHATTER" "Ooh, hello." "THEY CHUCKLE" "Bye-bye." "Entry fee?" "I've earned it, believe me." "How did you raise the money?" "Found a patron of my own." "Oh?" "Wealthy widow?" "Not as far as I know." "Right, gents." "When you're ready." "Come on." "HE GUFFAWS" "PORTHOS CHUCKLES" "Come on." "Come on!" "The wonder of it all is... he's not even trying." "Remember, head over heart." "Treville will be assessing your attitude as well as your skill." "Hm." "HE CHUCKLES" "GRUNTING" "GROANING" "GROANING" "You have a challenger." "But he's not a Red Guard." "I've just commissioned him." "Your reputation for violence is well established." "Now do something useful with it." "Huargh!" "Huargh!" "OTHERS MUTTER Enough!" "Argh!" "No control, no pity, no remorse!" "No more humanity than a jackal." "You're exactly what I need." "Succeed, and you walk free." "HE GRUNTS" "Lose, and you hang." "GUARD GROANS" "Somebody, help this man." "He doesn't look at all well." "CROW CAWS" "BONACIEUX:" "A present for you, my dear." "We can't afford this." "We can, and more besides." "I'm about to acquire the most desirable client imaginable." "Who?" "Just now, our lives are about to change." "I listen to all the places you've been." "I've never travelled...more than five miles from Paris." "Never been to London." "Vienna." "Well, it's not too late." "You should go." "You could come." "Be my tour guide." "I never had much time for sightseeing when I travelled - someone was always trying to kill me." "Have you ever thought what you'd do if you weren't a soldier?" "Becoming a Musketeer... ..was the best thing that ever happened to me." "Until I met you." "Flattery will get you everywhere." "Another life is possible." "If you want it." "Have you lost something?" "Nothing important." "I should go." "Captain Treville is choosing his champion this morning." "Of course." "Good luck." "D'Artagnan!" "You were right." "I was jealous of Milady." "Of course you had to take her money." "It's just..." "Well, she's... so beautiful and..." "..glamorous and... wealthy, and I'm just..." "Well, I'm just... me." "You... shine so brightly in my eyes, it puts every other woman in the shade." "Good answer." "I mean it." "Look... ..I'm going to win this competition." "Everything will work out for us." "Hm." "SHE CHUCKLES" "I'll see you later." "Choosing a champion from such a fine group of soldiers is a near-impossible task." "MUSKETEER:" "And the winner is..." "LAUGHTER" "For that reason, I have decided that the only man who can fairly represent you..." "..is me." "Was your life...so bad, Constance?" "Was I ever cruel to you?" "Did I beat you?" "You were never cruel... ..and I wasn't unhappy." "At least..." "I didn't know I was." "Until d'Artagnan came here." "I order you to break with him immediately." "I'm sorry to cause you pain." "But I won't give him up." "I love him." "End your affair, or d'Artagnan will be dead within a week." "What are you talking about?" "I have powerful friends now." "That new client I was talking about?" "It's the Cardinal." "And, believe me, he hates your lover even more than I." "Why would he kill him just on your say-so?" "Because of the plot I overheard d'Artagnan hatching, some attempt on the Cardinal himself." "Do you think he'd stop to ask questions?" "You're bluffing." "Give him up, or he dies." "It's your choice." "You will break his heart so thoroughly that he will never look at you again." "You will make him hate you." "This is wrong and dangerous." "This challenge is my doing." "It is my responsibility to see it through." "Instead of giving yourself one last moment of glory, you should be giving d'Artagnan the chance to win his commission from the King." "You think this is about glory?" "All I know is that d'Artagnan has it in him to be a fine Musketeer, perhaps the greatest of us all." "But now?" "We'll never know, because you have stolen his best chance to prove it." "DOOR SLAMS SHUT" "Treville's taken the fight himself." "Well, then, I suppose that puts an end to your daydream." "What do you mean?" "We're fooling ourselves, d'Artagnan." "There's no future for us together." "I'm a respectable... married woman." "This... silly flirtation has to end." "Flirtation?" "I love you." "But I don't love you." "If this is about Milady de Winter..." "You should go to her." "You'll be needing a rich mistress now." "You've got nothing." "Perhaps Milady will look after you." "I don't want her." "I don't want her, I want you." "I was tempted." "I'll admit that." "But I can't risk my future for you." "I have far too much to lose." "I'm sure you've made the right decision." "I mean, what use is love compared to money?" "Thank you for helping me see things more clearly." "SHE STIFLES A SOB" "Oh!" "SHE SOBS" "APPLAUSE" "APPLAUSE CONTINUES" "APPLAUSE FADES" "HE CLEARS HIS THROAT" "LOW CHATTER" "You invited your widow?" "Her name's Alice." "You only needed 30 livres, not a wife." "Did I say anything about marriage?" "No." "My God." "You're actually considering it?" "There is a life beyond the Musketeers, you know." "Well, one thing I've learned." "Never put your trust in love." "The Musketeer champion, the famous warrior, Captain Treville!" "APPLAUSE" "Good luck, Captain." "Good luck, sir." "LOW CHATTER" "My old fox will see off your man, Cardinal." "And representing the Red Guard, their champion," "Captain Labarge!" "APPLAUSE CONTINUES" "This is some sort of sick joke." "Well, the Captain isn't surprised." "He knew." "Well, this is highly irregular." "Shouldn't he be in the Bastille?" "Oh, I'm a great believer in rehabilitation, Sire." "Labarge is now a commissioned officer in the Red Guards." "The shooting and wrestling rounds have been waived!" "The contest will be settled in favour of the superior swordsman!" "GRUNTING" "Huargh!" "Huargh!" "Yaah!" "Huargh!" "Huargh!" "LABARGE LAUGHS" "That is hardly within the rules, Cardinal." "Sorry, Your Majesty." "I wasn't aware that there were any rules." "Come on!" "Aaargh!" "Aaah!" "LOW CHATTER" "HE GROANS" "Argh!" "Huargh!" "CROWD GASPS" "Huargh!" "Huargh!" "Huargh!" "Aarrgh!" "RAISED VOICES" "He'll kill him." "Labarge!" "What the hell are you doing?" "Saving your life!" "Treville is defeated." "The fight is over." "Stop!" "HE GROANS" "Your man broke the rules, Cardinal." "Captain Treville may nominate another champion, if he wishes." "I nominate d'Artagnan to take my place." "LABARGE LAUGHS" "My little friend from the Bastille?" "You look even more pathetic in the daylight." "I'm going to enjoy this." "Somehow I doubt it." "Is that the best you've got?" "GRUNTING" "I wish I could remember burning down your farm!" "It would make killing you a lot sweeter!" "That's for the people of Gascony." "LOW CHATTER" "Bravo, d'Artagnan." "I hereby declare the Musketeer regiment the winners." "APPLAUSE CONTINUES" "Ah, yes, now, the prize money is forfeit to the Treasury." "After all, the rules were broken." "We do need to collect our taxes somehow." "LOW CHATTER" "It's 2,000 livres I think you said, Cardinal." "You defended your captain with great heroism today." "I admire loyalty more than any other virtue." "Please kneel." "Get on your knees before he changes his mind." "I hereby commission you into my regiment of Musketeers." "May you serve it always with the same distinction that I witnessed today." "HE CHUCKLES" "Well done, d'Artagnan." "I'm proud to have you under my command." "Thank you." "Thank you so much." "LOW CHATTER AND PEACOCK CRIES" "RICHELIEU:" "Whose side were you on?" "I'm curious." "Yours, of course." "Really?" "So, er...why provide the funds for d'Artagnan's involvement?" "Have you been spying on me?" "I need to know who my true friends are, Milady." "Or should I call you" "Comtesse de la Fere?" "Did you really think I wouldn't find out about your marriage to Athos?" "Explain yourself." "If you wish to see the Musketeers destroyed, d'Artagnan is the key." "I'm plotting to bring him over to our side." "And do you seriously believe that he can be turned after this?" "You underestimate my powers of seduction." "For your sake, Milady, I hope you're as persuasive as you think." "I'm sorry you had to see that." "I've never seen real violence before." "It opened my eyes." "That's your life, isn't it?" "I don't enjoy killing, Alice, but I do what I have to do." "I understand." "But...that life is foreign to me." "I thought you wanted more excitement." "Not that much." "I could never give up soldiering." "And I could never be a soldier's wife." "I wish it could be different." "I'm so happy I met you." "Take care, Porthos." "So... will you marry the lovely widow..." "Alice?" "Who would look after you if I did that, eh?" "FOOTSTEPS APPROACH" "I suppose you'll live at the garrison?" "It's my home now." "I hope you enjoy your respectable life." "MAN:" "Whoa." "Thank you...for your patronage." "I knew I'd spotted a great talent." "Can I offer you a lift?" "SHE STIFLES A SOBS" "Another time, perhaps." "WHIP CRACKS AND HORSE WHINNIES" "Your Majesty!" "We'll lead through the forest, lose them in the trees." "The Musketeers will protect Anne." "They will not allow any harm to come to her!" "RICHELIEU:" "Can your men hold the convent long enough for rescue to arrive?" "GUNSHOTS" "ANNE:" "Surely I'm safer with you than in the care of unarmed nuns." "MOTHER SUPERIOR:" "Blessed be the Lord my God, who teacheth my hands to fight and my fingers to battle." "Ain't this better than trying to escape?" "Ask me again in two minutes." "GALLAGHER:" "One of us will die." "That's certain." "It is done."