" Are they free or what?" " But I don't play golf." " Use them for writing in, then." " They're a bit too big..." " I thought they had to be chequered." " That was in the old days." "Nowadays, they're waterproof and everything." "They've made this pocket quite deep,   so that you can have a tee or a golf ball in it." "Originally, the small pocket in jeans was for a pocket watch." " I thought it was for condoms." " No, no." "Listen." "Jeans were originally used by cowboys." "They didn't use condoms." " I'm sure Mik would know." " I'm sorry." "It's my publisher." " They must have shagged someone..." " Yeah, but then they rode off!" " Time for beer, guys." " I'm really sorry." "I have to go." "Nothing is more important than the beer club." "It's not a gay club, you know." "Get your trousers back on!" " Where are my trousers?" " They're right there, Frank." "No, these are Ib Michael's." "He must have put mine on." " Just wear those, then." " They're nicer than your own." "And probably very well-travelled!" " We'll talk to you later." " Yes." "Goodbye." " Hi, Frank." " What's going on?" " We've been burgled." " All our Philips equipment is gone." "The whole surround sound system and two flat screens." "It's probably gypsies snooping around." " Don't you lock your front door?" " Yes." "Everything was locked." " How awful." " Great party we had the other night." "You promised to be a clown at Simon's birthday, remember?" "They didn't take our satellite dish, did they?" "Oh, good." " Hi." " Hi, honey." " Can I come in?" " Yeah." "I'm checking the lock." " Is it broken?" " No." " Håkan and Anne have been burgled." " Oh?" "When?" "This morning." "So I thought I'd better check our lock." "I'll call the security company and get them to install a new cylinder." " Good idea." "Are they new trousers?" " They belong to Ib Michael." "We were trying on golf trousers, and Ib Michael took my trousers." "He put them on and left." "I was standing there butt naked." " So I had to wear his." " You'll have to give them back." "No, because he's wearing mine." "I think these are better than my own." "They're really comfy, honey." "I like them." "Top marks." "Yes, damn it." "You're a great cook." " How are things in Skanderborg?" " Not bad." "I've decided to get a dog, and I need your help, Frank." " Could you help me pick a good one?" " I'd love to, Dad." "The reason I ask him is that he went to vet school, you know." "The whole family were hoping that you'd become a vet." " And let me just say..." " Not now, Dad." "I don't believe in your line of work." " Showtime and all that..." " Showbiz." "Take Niels Hausgaard, for example." "You know him?" "He's really funny, I think." "Humorous and charming." "He's really funny, I think." "Humorous and charming." "I know that you can be quite funny." " But not enough to make a living." " We're doing quite well, actually." "I appreciate Mia backing you up." "She's your wife after all." "Let's stop here." "Your jaw is beginning to drop." "No!" "I love discussing why I didn't become a vet." "Let's change the subject." "What's your next big job?" "Well, there are several things..." "Isn't it your clown act over at the neighbours'?" " Quite a challenge, eh?" " I'm going up to watch NFL." "Can I come?" "I don't have a satellite dish, you know." "Hike!" "I catch it and run back..." "Ready, Frank?" "10 yards... 20 yards..." "30 yards..." "No, don't throw it back!" "God damn it." "It was a good match yesterday." "Ann is here with some clown costumes." "She says she's your neighbour?" " Yes." "Send her in." " Why the clown costumes?" " I'll be the clown at a kids' party." " No, you won't." " Don't stoop that low." " We share the satellite dish." "So that we can watch NFL." "But Mia doesn't want the dish on our facade." " Don't be a clown." " I'm doing it, so I can watch NFL." " Come in, please." " Say no to her." "Sorry to disturb." "I promised to get some clown costumes." " Aren't they great?" " Oh, yes." " Nadia has got some more stuff." " Come in." " You got two of them?" " I wasn't sure about the colour." " Hi, I'm Casper." " Hi." "Ann." "And you are..?" "Nadia?" "Beautiful name." "So you're Frank's neighbour?" "I visit him a lot." "I don't remember seeing you." "Except on TV, of course..." " Next time I'll tap on your window." " Yes, that would be nice." "Casper!" "You look really sexy... fit." "Yeah, that looks fun, Frank." " Doesn't it suit me?" " Yes." "I could wear the red one." "I could be a clown as well and help out." " You want to be a clown?" " Yes, I think we'd all like that." "The red one is perfect." "We'll be clowning around." " I'll look forward to that." " Really?" "Great." "Look at us." "The stupid and the funny clown." "That's just brilliant." "We're thrilled, Nadia and I." " Take care." "Bye, bye." " Bye." "I think you meant stupid and horny." "Hi." "You called our security firm." "Frank Hvam!" "Well, well..." "If the thieves put up a ladder they'd be in here in no time." "I've even paved it outside to make it easier for them." "I didn't know you were such a handyman." " It's nice to do it yourself, right?" " Yes." "I had to level it out first." "Alright." "Any other rooms up here?" " Can they enter through the chimney?" " They can get in anywhere." "And this is your bedroom?" "You like your space, I see." " Yeah, it's great having a big bed." " Absolutely." "Wow..." " Do you respond to alarms, then?" " Yes, if I'm on duty." " Do you handle the thugs yourself?" " Oh yes." "It's just that you're very feminine and slender." " I've done martial arts for years." " I've done some boxing myself." "I guess that's what you would encounter out there..." " You were getting ready there." " Well, yes..." "I'm a hefty chap, of course." " Would you like a Baileys?" " Thanks." "Even if he bashes the display the alarm will still be working." " Who else has got keys?" " A girl drops by every now and then." " Can I have her name?" " It's Mia." "Put Casper on as well." "You need a password in case the alarm goes off." "Something easy." "You need a password in case the alarm goes off." "Something easy." " What's your name?" " Anne Dorthe." " I'll use that." " Are you sure?" " Yes." "I'll remember that." " Gosh..." " They're either black or brown?" " Yes, or golden." " We've got a nice one here." " Oh yes." "He's cute." "He's such a good dog." "You'd be very pleased with him, I'm sure." "My husband is a policeman, so he's trained her   to work as a narcotics dog in the airport." "I know you both liked the other one, but I would go for the most lively." "A lively dog has a better temper, whereas a quiet dog is often nervous." "Frank has been to vet school, as you can hear." "You can check their hindquarters for any signs of hip dysplasia." " They don't have that." " See?" "He knows his stuff." "What do you think I should call him?" "I was thinking of Laban." " She likes you." " Maybe he's brought goodies." "They're not my trousers." "They're Ib Michael's." "Ib Michael accidentally took my trousers, so I had to wear his." "The writer, you know..." "Have you got a bin?" "They've put a sensor in the office as well." "And one in the lounge." "If the alarm goes off we'll get a text message." "I'm not sure I can sleep with that thing there." " There are burglaries everywhere." " A security firm would say that." "No, it's true." "It's gypsies." "They climb in via the trees." " I've never seen a gypsy here." " Of course not." "They hide." "I don't like having that thing looking down at us." "Rather a plastic thingy than a gypsy, I say!" "You have to call them and give them a password." " Have you chosen a password?" " Can I see?" " Yes." " What is it?" " Why do you need to know?" " In case I need to call them." "It's "Anne Dorthe"." "The password is Anne Dorthe?" "Why?" "Well..." "I thought you knew." "That's what I want our daughter to be called." "If we have one." " Our daughter?" " Yes." "When you get pregnant." " You've never mentioned that." " Yes, I have." "She'll be called Anne Dorthe." ""Hello, hello..." "We have fantastic act for you."" ""Big, big comedian is coming to play clown..."" "I'm looking forward to seeing Nadia." "We're both excited to see each other." "So what would be more natural than to go and..?" " Just remember our satellite dish." " Remember that I'm single." " Remember that Mia is here." " There's no need to get insulted." " We need to do some fun drinks..." " You need to get your act together!" "I'm not pulling this on my own." "Don't be so negative now." " I'm not." "I'm very positive." " Let's see that, then." " Is there a special clown knock?" " Yes..." "That's it." "Let's roll." " Hello there!" " Gosh, you look fabulous." " Hi, Håkan." " Go inside." "It's a surprise." "Come on." "I need to speak to the clowns." " Have you got special names?" " Yes." "Pepino and Pepito." " Is Nadia in there?" " No." "She went to the cinema." " But she's coming later?" " No, not with all this going on." " Pepino and Pepito." "Who's who?" " It doesn't matter." " The clowns are here..!" " What's so funny?" "Two, one... go!" "I've got him!" "He took my red nose." "I've got him!" "He took my red nose." "We'll sacrifice him under the clown tree..." "Pepino, come on." "We're having lots of fun." "Come on, Pepino." "Casper... get going now!" "My lower back is hurting." "Or something." "Let's all run over to Pepino and tickle him!" " Does anyone want to help me bake?" " Yes." "I'll do it." " Let the kids stay down there." " Casper, it's your turn to be clown." "Everyone, get in line for cake." "When you've got your cake, sit down quietly and eat it." "No, no!" "No, stop it." "Shame on you!" "We have to find Casper." "I can't even have my cake." "Let's play a funny game." "I saw the red clown before." "Where is he now?" "Follow me." "Where are you, clown?" "Stop!" "Can anyone see the red clown?" " The red clown is in the shed!" " No, stop." "Don't go in there." "There's no one there." "We've checked it out." "He's in the house." "Come on!" "We have to be quiet, so we can surprise him." "Let's go in." "Where is the red clown?" "Where can he be?" "What the hell are you doing, Frank?" "Get out, children!" "The red clown isn't here." "Get out, everybody!" "What are you doing?" "Håkan, wait here." "Just wait..." " What's going on?" " They're looking for the red clown." " Are you alone?" " Yes." " Are the rolls finished?" " Almost." "Come on." "What's that you've got in your hair?" " What is it?" " I don't know." "It's... hair." " Did you get scared, Håkan?" " What happened?" "I've known Ann for several years." "She's not the adulterous type." " I know other men say the same." " It says we're being burgled." "I'm sorry." "We're being burgled." "It's the gypsies!" " Thanks for your help." " The alarm has just gone off." "I don't want to open the door, in case they're in there." " You want me to do it?" " You have to." "Come on!" "Be careful now." "Hi, Frank." "It's just me." "Hi, Mia." "It's you!" "We thought we had a break-in." "I had the biggest shock myself, when I came in and it went off." " I had to have a glass of red wine." " It's really tense over there." " Didn't I tell you about the aerial?" " Why share it with people like that?" "What were you thinking?" "You ruined that birthday party!" " I know I could've given more..." " What did you do with Ann?" " With whom?" " With Ann!" "We were making rolls, but my back was hurting." "Did you have sex with her?" "That's a really..." "disgusting thing to ask." "Here's Håkan." "Don't let him in." "I'm not dressed!" "Do you want to humiliate me?" " Let's sort this thing out." " It's not a good idea, honey." "Hi, Håkan." " I don't want to get involved." " We need to talk." " I don't want to get involved." " We need to talk." " Let's have some wine..." " Stay there, Håkan!" " You horny bastard!" " You've got to stop them." " Håkan!" " I'll kill you!" "Håkan!" "Håkan..." "Hey..." "Casper!" "Come on!" "Let's all have a drink." "Christ..." "Look what I found in the gazebo, honey." "All this Philips equipment." "Håkan must be into insurance fraud." "I found two plasma screens, this and some speakers." "He's got no reason to be sulky." "Right." "I've checked upstairs." "Everything's fine." " Hi, Frank." " Hi." " Thanks, Anne Dorthe." "Goodbye." " I'm off, then." "Bye, Frank." "I think we can both agree that we'll cancel the alarm now?" "I'm going to lie down for a bit." "He'll never get any better." "He's from Herning." " Cheers." " Cheers." "Frank?" "Your dad is here." " Hi, Dad." " I came to watch the football." "But first I have to tell you that Laban is dead." "I found him in his basket this morning and took him to the vet." "It was a congenital heart defect which you should have picked up on." "But you're incompetent these days." "If you'd finished vet school   it probably wouldn't have happened." "Besides, you're a coke addict." " A coke addict, Frank?" " It's nothing." " Let's swap trousers." " I had a bag in here." "I threw it out." "It was coke, right?" "Coke?" "If only it had been coke." "I have to keep your trousers." " As compensation for the coke?" " No, no." "It's called tsentsak." "It's spirit darts." "I have to do something about it." "I have to keep your trousers." "For your own sake."