"You got a problem ?" "Me, no i aint got no problem" "Come on, take a good look, do i look like i have a problem?" "Looks to me you have like 350 problems." "Yeah, well you better get your eyes checked, cause i aint got no problems okay." "As a matter of fact, around here i am the one that makes the problems." " Oh, i am scared!" " I am just standing here checking you babes out." "Why dont you go to the supermarket and check yourself out first, huh?" "ooh, you are a tough little cookie, i like that." "You know what, one smack should straight you right up;" "how about that?" "oh yeah, and who is gonna do the smacking?" "You and what militia?" " Listen, you stuck up little bitch" " No, you listen dickface" "My boyfriend is gonna be here any second and if you're still here when he comes, you're gonna run as fast as you can, and only then it will be too late" " You're such a tiger!" "I love it." " Fuck you and your pink shirt." " Hey, Asshole." " Carol, what are you doing here?" " I tought you were going to the tanning." " I was..." "I just..." "I am were you...are you...just giving these tourists directions." " Come on, baby you know i love you." " Directiones to tourists my ass." "Those girls don't mean anything to me." "Damn weasel." " Men, Am i right or wrong?" " They serve their purpose." "I am not complaining, i got the greatest boyfriend in the whole world." "But the way i look at it, most guys are more like that jurk than they are like my boyfriend." "By the way, my name Lou, Short for louise." "My father wanted boys, so he made everyone call me Lou and the name just kind of stuck ." " what's yours?" " Carla." " are you kidding" " No." "My best friend in the third grade was nammed Carla, Carla Naxenhoff." " what's your last name?" " Bennett." " Bennett, great name, Bennett." " It's english." "I've been to London before, twice actually." "once to dance and once with my boyfriend, just for two days he was giving a concert." "That's actually why i am here, my boyfriend lives in this building." "Do you got a boyfriend?" " Sort of." " what does he do?" " He's an actor." " Get out like mine." "I tought that yours is a musician, you said he did a concert in london?" "Not that kind of concerts, More like mixed media." "he sings, he dances, he acts, he does stand ups he is a real entertainer." "like Liza Minelli." " So what do you do?" " Design." " female Calvin Klein, huh?" " well we're in the same field...but im not" "You're not nearly as famous, i know, I am gonna be famous one day, i just know it" "My boyfriend promised me, as soon as he makes it." "he's gonna cast me as his co-star because we're so good together" "But you never know, i may make it first, and then i'll have to cast him as my co-star ...If i'm in the mood ." "Just kidding." "He is actually really talented, and i am not just saying that." "He has a way with words." "He can talk you into buying a house without a roof ." " Sounds irresistable." " That's what he is. he is irresistable" "People cannot resist him." "You know, I bet you've seen him on TV." "He's had guest spots on "N.Y.P.D. Blue" in "Homicide" and he did the Gary Shandling show twice." "he was totally hilarious." "and he wrote personnaly to Barry Levinson and Don Simpson." "And Simpson was gonna give him a lead... in this romantic comedy that his production company was gonna do." "But then he died" "are you okay?" "Blake Allan." "Yeah, that is his name." "Who are you?" "His girlfriend." "I am his girlfriend." "I am his girlfriend." "American Airlines, flight 11." "Right." "So you mean you came here to surprise him too?" "Oh my god!" "looks like he's giving us alot bigger surprise then either one of us was planning on giving him." "Just one minute." "I'll buzz you in." "welcome home." "you dont know me, no wonder it's his favourite song." "it should be his anthem." "Notice anything different?" "That's where my picture used to be." "It still is." " It is ?" " when you're here." "Did he ever tell you that's the first time he put anyones picture on his piano besides his mother?" "Yes, because he said it made him feel like i was physically with him." "In front of him and inside of him at the same time." "maybe we should wreck his whole fucking apartement right now." "I'd rather wreck him." "yeah that's a really good idea but how, should we stab him ?" "Too quick." "Asshole." "Creep." "Scumbag." "Did you really love him?" "Yeah i did." "did you?" "I told him i did, and i tought i meant it." "who knows?" "I felt something." " Emotional?" " More." "More?" "More than i felt for anyone else, different." " which is what he said..." " that You were different?" "He never experienced real love before he met me." "before me love was" "Just another four letter word." "Begining with L, no more significant than like or lust." "Then he would shake his head like this." "shows how helpless he was about his work with his overwhelming passion." " and when he'll go inside of you it's like..." " Returning home to his sanity, his refuge." " Perfect rythm." " Perfect rythm and harmony." "Atomic union or something..." "The union of atomic matter, the matter returning to its pure state after temporary seperation of time and space how do you remember all that?" "easily. he said it about a 100 times as if it were a mantra." "Did he ever asked you to marry him?" " No,why he asked you?" " No." " why you ask?" " just curious." "Just trying to understand his twisted mind." "I think his thing for me was more sexual." "Altough he did say he felt romantic towards me." "he told you he loved you?" "yeah, he said:" ""I love you and you love me"... because he couldnt stand it if he said i love you, and didnt say it back." "it is crazy. even now i shouldnt care what he said or did..." " it still hurts i know, it hurts me too." "i feel like this is somehow a dream that i am gonna wake up from ." "So do I." " how long did you know him?" " ten months, how about you?" " February 15." " I dont remember the date but it was definitely snowing." "So it must have been february and everything started off real slow." "And then he got really intense all of a sudden" " and he told me..." " he was yours and you were his... and neither one of you is ever gonna be with anyone else ever again." "That was in march." "yeah, march right because he said it to me at halftime at the NCAA semi-finals." "Unfucking believable." "he knew it from the begining." " knew what, knew what he wanted?" " he knew what he was up to." "it is not like he knew one of us for years or even months and then the other one came in his life and made it complicated he decided conscienly to take a shot with 2 girls at the same time." "he wanted a girlfriend.he wanted to fill the void." "and so he figured if one of us didnt work out then the other might." "what he didnt count on was that the both of us would work out." " but we did." " until now." "it is gonna be neither." "But you dont think he was looking to have two permanantly" "Like those what do you call it?" " Bigamos?" " No, those ones in Utah." " Mormons?" "Yes: mormones." "Do you think he is a mormon?" " He is no mormon." " He sure is a cocksucker." "No, i think that was our function." "Oh you did that with him?" " What?" " give him Head?" "why does that shock you?" "No, it is just that..." "do you know what he used to tell me?" "All the way from houston he said it to me on the phone last night." "he said that he couldnt even get a hard on for any girl besides me no matter how good she was or what she did ." " and you believed him." " I believe him." "Isnt that pathetic." "I am as pathetic as that asshole on the street." " would you have believed him?" " No would but did." " he said the same things to you?" " word for word." "And if that wasnt his big faith in you." "he said it was a matter of choice." "without you he is incapacitated." " he would be impotent with anybody else." " because i owned his dick, it didnt belong to him." " it was attached to him." " but it belong to me." "Huge and hard, thick and long and perpendicular to the earth, not to the floor but the earth." " and filled with oceans..." " Oceans of cum." "Oh my god." "I am gonna fucking cut it off" "I am gonna slice it off, sliver by sliver with an electric meat slicer." "that is what im gonna do." " that motherfucker." " You said it." " what?" " that's what he is: a motherfucker." "You think he did it with his mother?" "Not litteraly, but i think his relationship with his mother is more complicated than he admits to." "Definitely." "i mean who else has framed photographs of their mother all over their apartement" "And the way he used her in stories he would tell." "like when he was little." "No father around." ""Mother and i went to Florida, went to Atlantic City"." ""Mom and I had an argument over me having a ponytail"." " Right." " and the way he used her with us." " No Not with me, i never met her." " I never met her either" "But the way he used her, saying he is spending the night at her house because she's sick." " You dont think she was sick?" " well, Who knows?" "all we knew is that he cant call her because the ringing sound would frighten her.." "Exactly. "Just leave a message on the voicemail if anything urgent came up"." "4 nights a week;" "those were the nights he must have been with you." "No i was always three, Never 4, you must have been 4." "No, I was three also." "well, do you think there is a third?" "Or one night of cruising recruitement for the future. ." "Can you believe we fell for this?" "You only suspect it when you're doing it yourself." "interesting." "but you weren't fucking around on him, were you?" " No." " neither was I." "But i could have, i had plenty of chances like that guy on the street in the white suit ?" "Much better than him." "I know that, i was just being vicisious." "right." "but you must had a million chances." " you're beautifull, Carla." " No I am not." "yes you are." "Let me ask you something ." "what if he is here." "Ok." "Mommy,it's me im back." "little trouble getting back from the airport, but the plane got on time." "I love you." "I hope you are doing well." "Call me as soon as you get this, bye." "Carla, it's Blake." "I just got back in town." "I am prepared to perforate your every orifice." "with my tongue i miss you wildly i am hot, i got to see you. bye." "Hi who is there?" "all right, well just tell her ...Blake is back." "Thank you." "Mark!" "it's Blake." "what is it like 4:30 there. get up." "so what happened with the job, did you get it?" "No?" "why?" "too talented as usual?" "what's going on?" "So what else?" "what about like anything?" "Really?" "wow?" "and that's in the catskills?" "God, i actually dont know anyone who made it in the catskills." "what are they paying there?" "Wow, that will cover the dry-cleaning." "what about like a Tv spot or something?" "I cant even believe we are discussing this. this is ridiculous." "it's like you dont know who are you dealing with here." "you've been jerking quite a bit there?" "No, im just kidding." "Hold on. let me think about it for a second." "Call me daddy, Call me daddy." "bend over and then squeal like the pig that you are for offering me this job." "No, i'll take it." "when do i start?" "Ok, thanks, bye." "Hi." "Yes." "live, from "La Paz"... it is "Blanco Allegra"." "you give your hand to me... and then you say hello." "and i can hardly speak" "My heart is beating so and anyone can tell" "you think you know." "No, you dont know me." "No, you dont know the one who dreams of you at night." "Honey, i let my chance go by." "and the chance you might have loved me too." "you give your hand to me." "and then you say goodbye." "i wont walk away" "what a surprising way to see you!" "i was just..." "My god!" "i was just thinking when im gonna see you. and here you are how did you get in?" "Magic." "did the super let you in?" "You look great...fuck!" "Okay." "You know what's so great?" "i could have not orchestrated this any better." "this is a rare opportunity, you get to see how i am behaving when you are not here." "what did i do?" "i came in i sit in, is i call you the first thing i do is tell you i love you i miss you i wanna lick you, i cant wait to see you got up, im inspired thinking im not gonna see you.." "I sit down, i play, i sing..." "how the fuck did you get in here?" "wow, you've never looked this phenomenal." "did i give you a key?" "i did, right?" "I am just so happy to see you. i really am, in this two weeks" "I forgotten how beautifull you are. and i missed you did you miss me as much as i missed you?" " how much did you miss me?" " pretty madly, like a psychotic." " why do you think i was calling you 40 times a day." " needed to check up on me?" "what?" "what kind of crazy statement is that?" "why do i need to check up on you?" " to see what i was up to." " what are you talking about?" " what do you suspect i would be up to?" "this conversation is getting real strange." "what is going on?" "what is going on?" " nothing." " nothing." "then why are you using words like suspect me?" "like i would suspect you of something" " and you dont?" " No, Suspect you of what?" "suspect you of anything why?" "why would I?" "Never would i have tought you've done something wrong" " You dont think that?" " No, why would I?" " I dont know. what you might think is wrong for me i might think its right and viceversa." "what are you trying to tell me?" "about what?" "About you." "nothing." "did you fuck anybody?" "when?" "when, ever." "Ever?" "well yes." "I mean i seem to recall you and I have shared a little fucking." " Making love, come on." " making love, is that what you wanna call it?" "that's what i call it, that's what it is to me when i was with you ." " as supposed to what?" " as supposed to nothing what are you driving at?" "Come on." "How many girls did you fuck while you were in L.A?" "when i was in L.A?" "that's the last two weeks." "None." "cause i havent been with any other women since i was with you ." "that's the last ten months." " you dont have to say that." " I know i dont have to say that, I am just saying that because its the truth." "i mean we are not married." "you are a free man, you can do it whatever you want, it's okay if you have." "i dont want to, do you?" "no." "well." " with anyone, you dont want to?" " with anyone but you." " okay whatever you say." " whatever." "this is got to be the most bizzare exchange i've ever experienced in my life." "Did you take acid?" "did you, are you?" "i was trying to figure out some explanation for this Jekyl and hyde behaviour that you're exhebiting." "I am scared." "i dont... look." "what's this?" "what's there?" "it looks like a broken windown and a plant." "yeah, i know it is a plant and a broken window, but the question is how did the window got broken?" "it looks like the plant might have done it." "yeah, but i dont think that the plant just came through the window on its own." "did you throw the plant to the window?" "did you throw this to the window?" "maybe" "maybe?" "maybe?" "maybe." "have you gone completely and utterly out of your mind?" "are you glad i came by to surprise you?" "yeah, i am glad. i would be gladder if you met me in the airport or outside." "I cant believe that you threw this plant through this window." "I cant believe you're getting so upset about this window" "Than what?" "then about your protestations of fidelity they are not protestations." "They are outright denials." "it's beyond desires, it's beyond choice." "it's phallic incapacity it's an inoperative shaft." "I am telling you, if you would put a gun to my head and say: "fuck her, she's gorgeous, she needs you, it's easy no one will know." "I'll say: "Pull it, pull the trigger, empty the chamber into my head" "Because that's what its at with me." "it's not my dick anymore, it is attached to me yeah. but it belongs to you" "I am taking it a step further, i am telling you that not only this point with you" "Because i am so attached to you that every other girl on earth is not exciting to me, in the slightest." "every other girl on earth to me it's like a salem." "it is like something that came from under a fucking rock." "it is disgusting to me!" "it is like smelling cheese." "it makes me fucking sick." "it disgusts me!" "it is like smelling vomit." "including me?" "Wow!" "this is a shock!" "this is a Surprise!" "this is a massive shadow of shock." "i must say it is difficult that either one of you gonna believe me this moment, there is absolutely a legitimate explanation for this." " what is it?" "he doesnt have an explanation." "just answer me one question, in what way am i physically disgusting?" " no way." " you just say i was." " when?" " when 30 seconds ago." " I didnt say." " You just said that every girl you met since Carla... was physically disgusting to you." " it was a figure of speech." " Stop lying, asshole." " i am not lying." "Not lying?" "everything you have said to the both of us in the past ten months has been a total utter-fucking lie." " can i say one thing." "and this is not some self serving jarging on an attempt to get myself an out of the moment i even hide little tiny parts of my life from both of you to avoid causing pain." " Fuck you!" " I never said anything that i didnt not whole heartly mean." " fuck you." "If you actually believe what you just said, it's worse than if you dont." " I dont follow that at all." " ¡Oh, what a big surprise!" "What, you know what she just meant by that?" " yeah, i understood perfectly what she said." " well go ahead explain it to me." "you know what, i dont have to tell you anything." "you're just lucky you dont have a kitchen knife sticking through your adams apple right about now." " Carla, - i prefer you dont use my name." "what do you want me to call you?" "Timmy?" "i dont wanna hear your voice at all right now." "absolutely, excuse me. i gotta get that." "Hi, mom." "Mom" "Hi." "yeah, it was good." "i didnt get it, but i got this other thing in the catskills that's gonna be real good." "can i call you back in ten minutes?" "thanks." "ten minutes, okay." "bye, mom." " so there is a third." " third what?" " third girlfriend." " that's absurd." "you used your mother with me to get through with Carla ." "you used your mother with Carla to get through with me and now, you're using your mother with both of us, to get with whoever it is you're planning on going out with tonight." "No, you dont understand." "No, actually we didnt understand, now we do understand we understand everything." "everything except why it would be if you stopped lying." "you were caught." "stop and try to explain." " he cant." " let him try." "go ahead." " My mom is - your mother is your excuse if she even exists." "who knows?" "you know what this is?" "this is really i am devastated by this." "No you're not;" "you're just exposed what do you to be devastated about?" "you didnt find out it was someone you trusted ó and betrayed you." "I know, but you know what." "Nothing you say means fucking shit anyway." "because you're a lying, cheating manipulating motherfucker" "you know what i think, that is really abusive." "i dont think you understand, how it cause me pain to hurt people i care about ." " care about?" " yes care about. i like to cause pain to people that i hate." " care about?" "what happened to love?" "i tought you loved me." "i really did." "and carla tought you loved her." "i did." "and i do." "i really..i do." "me or her?" "both of you." "Both!" "both is very conveniant." "both is really convenient." "what about only?" "you said only." "look, i fucked up here?" " i was..." " you were greedy and selfish." " i was wrong." " Coward." "a greedy selfish coward." "you know what?" "im gonna please, stop pursuing me and phoning..." "I cant, i cant" "I think that I understand where you're coming from." "and i was there and i have been straight to you this whole entire you know this was the form that was appropriate to you." "if you have to confront me." "I dont think that there is anything for me now." "I cant because." "this isnt, this isnt... and both at the same ...that wasnt nice that wasnt right." "i was no way." "No, cause i know if I... i think it is abusive." "i dont think... yeah." "i know, i know i gotta do it...for me." "For me, it is not like there was... another this wasnt not supposed to have been" "this is misery." "this to me is misery" "oh my god!" "okay, fine." "he's about as dead as we are." "listen i am about to teach a little something ." "you fucking asshole, how could you do that?" "you know how that feels, you fucker?" " pretending like you are dead, that's sadistic." " i have a point to make." "I am not interested in your point." "i am interested in why you are a sick compulsive liar." "you are caught in like a sewer of lies and deception and your response is a lie." "you're right." "this is kind of fucked up, i am an actor and actors lie." " it gets worse and worse." "i am not trying to excuse it, i am just alot of actors dont lie, there's alot of actors who play killers but they do not kill people when they are not acting." "not good actors. name me one good actor who doesnt lie ." "this is beyond belief, even for you." "okay:" "Denzel Washington." " He doesnt lie." " now how do you know that?" "because i just do, he like oozes honesty and integrity." "Yes, Denzel Washington is a good actor." "a good actor pursuades you upon reality and he lives another." "Come on blake are you gonna tell me that Denzel Washington..." "Isnt the most coolest around?" " i dont know, do you denzel washington personnaly?" " No, do you?" "yeah, i've seen him around in parties and other." "really?" "you and Denzel Washington had auditions together" " yeah." "the two of you like for a big director or something?" "i mean i dont think Denzel fucking Washington audition." "do you?" "he is a huge fucking movie star, unlike yourself." "i saw him at "Grey's Papaya" like 2 weeks ago." "and i think i got a pretty firm hitch." "i am not talking about Denzel Washington as an individual, i am talking generically." "i am talking about the art of acting, the nature... the life experience of me as an actor." "so you're point is that it's okay for you to lie and live a double life because you're an actor?" " what i'm saying is that the two are connected" "If i was like a supreme court justice you would expect a little on the nose straight ahead answer ." "but as an actor i think that i am grand a little leeway ." "so this makes it our fault, we should know that you're a liar and a double dealer" "Clarence Thompson." "who the fuck is Clarence Thompson?" "the supreme court justice who lied about Anita Hill, duh." "Thomas." " Thomas, who?" " Clarence Thomas." "and there is no proof that he lied about anything actually." "oh really, you think that Anita Hill made up the whole coke character are you intentionnaly missing my point ?" "No, i am not, you said that you're not a supreme court justice and i said that Clarence Thompson is exactly the same lying cheating pathetic fucking fool as you are." "okay!" "stop it both of you, you are letting him side track us from finding out why he is such a liar which is the only reason that i am still here." "that's a very good point, Carla." "why i am still here?" "i am fucking out of here." "you treat two people that you claim to love with such contempt?" "it wasnt contempt." "that's the last thing it was." "it was love." "it was love." "fuck you, Blake." "And fuck you up and down, in and out front and rear, fuck you till you bleed and puss pores out of your asshole." "you are a lying, mugging maschojonistic, inemployable, short loft inheriting" "..piece of shit fraud and love, you have the audacity to use the word love?" "you dont know the meaning of the word love." "¡fuck you!" "i am short now too, huh?" "I make 5'10." "short." "fraud." "you know what do you want, to sell it?" "fine." "you enjoy it." "what is wrong with you?" "why are you doing this?" "this is what you want, this is how you wanna live the rest of your life?" "Damaging people around you, damaging yourself?" "is it?" "Really is it?" "because if it is why dont you really fucking blow your brains out?" "Really, right now" "that's not what you want, you need a comittement to shape your ass off and stop bullshitting everyone." "stop deceiving them and yourself too." "You should promise me this right now." "A real promise." "The real deal now." "allright, i promise." "i cant fucking believe you." "I cant believe shit that you say." "but im gonna give you a chance." "this is your last chance to fucking get your shit together." "i come in, and the second i walk in the door, the ground floor, the door is open i look in there, and there's a body." "i dont know." "No it is like the guy artist Rex." "i dont know if it's him." "i dont know who it is" "I call the police." "they come over. and within 25 seconds of finding this body they call the coroners and they are grilling me, these detectives when you called me they were relentless like i did it or something." "and then maybe because of the time of the death of the body it was obvious that i couldnt ... stop you are smoking right now, i can hear it." "you want some more?" "i got too much already." "pour me a little of yours." "cheers." "i know you're smoking, you dont have to tell me." "you cant." "yeah but i know, it's not even like i can sometimes or whatever." "you have no idea, i took you to the hospital." "that's enough." "one more." "we'll finish the bottle." "mom?" "mom?" "did you throw away the cigarettes?" "well, mom you are destroying your voice" "No, i am serious." "why are you talking so low?" "you are wrecking your circulation." "you are strangling your circulation." "Mom, the cigarette is like a nail." "well you just gotta stop. you want me to come over there, i'll come over there you think i could ever brade your hair?" "if you want to, you can." "because i still like to brade my hair, but right now i have short hair." "well call me if you need me okay?" "i love you, bye." "Wow!" "Hey Blake, you wanna brade carlas hair with me?" "it could be fun." "we could brade our hair." " you want the truth?" " No, we want another lie." "No, seriously.the truth" " the truth - look at him the very words "the truth is" make him draw a blank." "the truth is that i meant everything that i said to each of you at the time i was saying it." " bullshit!" " No, it was new to me." " oh, it was new to you!" "the first time i ever felt love was simultanuously with both of you for the first time ever in my life." "and i was baffled." "it was very unsettling." "poor you!" "poor fucking you." "i am not suggesting sympathy, i am just trying to make some sense for this fiasco that i've created." "obviously you made your point which was very confusing and unsettling we discovered as you put it that you were in love with two women at the same time, and?" "and it was exciting." "if you wanna know the truth. it never occured to me at any point to give up either one of you." "because both of you made me feel phenomenal when i was with you." "i was under the impression that i am totally inspiring both of you." "so as long that we dont know about each other then it was OK." "i am not saying it's okay, it was wrong but the rightness of it that i felt gave me a way of justifying ." "a way of seeing it the way i wanna see it so i can continue." "you are such a manipulator!" "Manupilatish?" "No it is not, because it requires conceiling, i am conceiling nothing." " since when?" " since now." "i absolutely think you're lying. you're definitely conceiling something." " it is too easy." " yeah, it is too fucking easy." " it is too fast." " what am i conceiling?" "you mean i could be aware of it." "lying comes like breathing to you." "Mom, hi it's me listen im sorry to call you back but your voice sounds really weird ." "it is really low." "why are you talking like that mom?" "im scared." "i will call you right back." "i think it is the connection.." "i will call you right back." "Hold on." "why is this funny to you?" "i've been concerned." "Hi are you sure you okay?" "im sorry, i just dont understand why" "i know, but just let me ok i am here and i am worried about you if i dont" "okay, sorry." "she is upset of me." "there is something wrong a with her voice it's so strange." "Blake, how is it your mother has been sick for like 10 months?" "that's what you have been saying right?" " yeah - if there is a real change in her voice you should call a doctor." "i know, i am going to call him." "Hi Dr. Cutler, please." "can you tell him that blake allan called it is very important." "he has my number, thank you." "what?" "So you're never gonna believe anything i say again?" "i would be pretty stupid to, wouldn't I?" "havent you ever lied to anyone and known what it done, and felt horrible about it and known that you could never do it again?" "known it meant nothing, or known that they've gone ahead and did it anyway ?" "i guess what i am asking is" "Can you forgive me?" "So explain something to me." "did it excite you to know that you were always in danger of being caught?" "it must have." "it excited you." " it had to." " No." "oh yes it did. you were exciting yourself by living a double life." "you were risking disaster." "of course it excited you." " if it did , i wasnt aware of it." " you were aware." "where the fuck are you going?" " i have to make a call." " what, i have a phone here." "it is private." "why didnt you went after her?" " she doesnt want me too." " but you would if she did." "it's ok you can admit it i understand perfectly why you are attracted to her." "she is great, she's beautifull, clever, she is a good person and she knows how to take care of herself i mean what more can somebody wants?" "Nothing, but you have all those qualities too." "No,i dont and you know it." "i am not beautifull, i am cute." "i am not clever, i am street wise." "i am not a very good person; i mean the only thing i am is self-sufficient." " i do know how to take care of myself." " And you are a good person, dont say that about yourself." " No, i am not." " how can you say that?" "how do you know?" "you dont even know me i tought i knew you better than anyone who'd ever known you ." "i tought i knew you better than you knew yourself" " that's what you said." " No, that's what you said." "Maybe i did, maybe i said it because i knew that is what you wanted to hear." "the way everything you said to me was what you tought i wanted to hear." "right up to just now, when you did it again." "speaking of which i noticed that you didnt correct me when i said that i was" "Cute instead of beautifull and street-wise instead of clever." "you're thinking about Carla." "see if you had been honest from the begining things might have worked out alot better for all three of us." "and much more interestingly how so?" "sometimes you underestimate people." "what meaning by underestimated you?" "No, meaning that i might have been ready for certain things." "such as?" "such as alot of things." "such as?" "Diferent things. and Carla might have been ready too." " for what?" " ú you know what i'm talking about." "i know, i just want to hear you say it." " i am sure you do." " so?" "Use your imagination." "so what you're saying is what i am saying is that you blew it." "you didnt have the confidence in yourself to believe that you could get what you wanted with the truth." "what did i want that i didnt get?" "half of what you just got in there." " you mean double?" " yeah right, double." "like what, that i would have been with both of you together?" "like that was my secret desire and i was too timid to admit it." "Well, no." "i am not saying just sex." "and i am not saying sex once." "what do you mean?" "i am refering to mormonism." "mormonism?" "Mormonism." "i think you mean bigamie." "yeas, bigamie right. but not about the whole gang marriage just more of us hanging out together." "and doing things together, just being together all the time." "more like a triple instead of a couple." "so that's what you would have wanted?" "No, that's how you would have wanted it." "you just didnt have the whatever to admit it." " and you think that's what Carla would want?" " Maybe." "i think that she would be open to it." "i think that we could convince her." "excuse me." "hello?" "Hi, Dr. Cutler, thanks for calling me back." "listen i've talked to mom, like three four a bunch of times today and there is something in the level of her voice that's got me like frightenend." "and i just want you , could you call her, and call me back." "and tell me what i should do?" "No, i am telling you, i know something is wrong." "i just want you to call her, call me back, and tell me what is to be done." "this is turning out to be a very strange day everything is changing so fast." "everything seems to be going form one extreme to an other and back again almost as if like love and hate were interchangeable." "no i dont mean interchangeable i mean inverted." "Especially now for us with him." "i mean there is a part of me that feels like we could just tell him to fuck off and never see him again." "but then i was also thinking that we could try something else." "something new, modern and kind of strange." "like this famous poet." "do you know what i am talking about?" "excuse me." "Am i right in assuming that i am not wanted in this moment ." " yes." " or for longer than a moment." "then i will vanish." " so which famous poet?" " i cant remember his name." "but there was a biography the other night that i watched on calbe." "he had a wife and a mistress." "and they did everything together, and the women really got along." "they were attracted to each other, they respected each other and there were no jealousy or possesiveness i mean, it was really very cool." "and i just cant remember his fucking name." "D.H. Lawrence?" "No. wasnt he the Lawrence of arabia guy, wasnt he gay?" "No, that was T.E. Lawrence." "No, this guy had a weird name." "it sounded like a zz, like Ezzard..." "Ezra Pound." "yes, Ezra Pound, that's it!" "i tought you vanished." "What are you doing?" "i mean really, what are you doing?" "are you trying to figure out how to make us forget?" "are you searching for a new role to slip into because this old one doesnt work ?" "are you lost?" "Nervous?" "you look nervous." "are you practising your act?" " i am a practising actor." " you are trying too hard." " i am a good actor." " right." " i am not a hack." " oh really?" "obviously you have never seen my hamlet or you wouldnt be parading me in this fashion, you'd have respect for me. you would." "you see that picture over there?" "i am the melancholic Dane." "did Hamlet lead a double life?" " so you want center stage?" " yes." "always trying to be loved." "ok." "Hamlet i upset with his mother, for amongst many things." ".Co-conspiring to kill his father, and also, owning his dick." "you could relate to that one." "No, but i can relate how angry he is." "and on how she controls his dick ok." "it's coming." ""Extacy." ""My pulse, as yours, doth temperately keep time And makes as healthful music." ""It is not madness That I have uttered: ." "bring me to the test, And I the matter will re-word;" ""which madness , Would gambol from" "Mother!" ""for love of grace, Lay not that flattering unction to your soul" ""That not your trespass, but my madness speaks." ""It will but skin and film the ulcerous place" ""Whilst rank" ""and corruption, mining all within Infects" ""unseen." ""Confess yourself to heaven;" "Repent what's past" ""avoid what is to come, And do not spread the compost on the weeds" ""To make them ranker." ""Forgive me this my virtue;" ""For in the fatness of these pursy times ." ""Virtue itself of vice must pardon beg" ""Yea, curb and woo for" ""leave to do him good. ." ""O Hamlet, thou hast cleft my heart in twain.." ""O, throw away the worser part of it And live the purer with the other half." ""Good night: but go not to mine uncle's bed;" "Assume a virtue, if you have it not." " you're gonna tell me that i am not a great actor?" " i like your singing better." "You do?" "where did you grab that line, i didnt know that you're into Shakespear ." "there's alot you dont know about me." "yeah i know, like who did you just go outside to call?" " my mother." " really?" "see by the way you are looking, i know that you didnt call your mom." "my mother, why is it so hard for you to believe that i am calling my mother ?" "arent you calling your mother all the time?" "yeah, my mom is not well." "i would never lie about Whether or not my mom was well." "well who knows you've lied about everything else." "I've lied about nothing except sexual fidelity." "oh that's really nothing, isnt it?" "Hardly worth mentioning." "it is one tiny infitisemal glitch on the radar screen." "yeah and what do you mean about sexual fidelity?" "do you mean it was just the two of us for the last year?" " that i was lying to, yeah" " Oh,that you were lying to." "but what about casual acquaintaces that you didnt have to lie to because they didnt care what you did, or who you did it with?" " those were a few, a very few." " how few is very few?" "I tought we were beyond this what made you think that we were beyond it?" "because we had a little moment?" " a moment?" " yes, a little moment which changed nothing." "just as when i went outside, you and lou had a little moment." "Which changed nothing either." " we didnt touch each other." " He is actually telling the truth this time." "it didnt even come up." " Why not?" " i would've not let him." "that tought never crossed my mind." " oh that's nice!" "thank you very much." " you said you would havent anyway." "Well!" "how few is few?" "five." "seven, sorry seven." " it was less than 10." " less than 10?" "less than 10?" "do i hear twenty?" "thirty?" "fifty?" "how do you think i am ?" "Nero?" "i am not Wilt Chamberlain." "No, but you are desperately obsessed and totally out of control." "dont deny it, Blake, you are." "well, maybe i am out of control." "often, usually." "I mean do you really wanna do this?" "cause this will open the door of utter inhibited disclosure." "do you really wanna hear names, dates places who wanted to be licked where, fucked how?" "or in my estimation, what do i think your personnal defects are ?" "or what you are ready to hear or what you dont wanna hear secretly?" "or what if i told you what I thought about you, would devestate you to hear?" "what you are saying is the reason that we're in this situation is because of our personnal defects?" "what kind of girl would wanna get with a guy like me, knowing?" " we didnt know." "you never even let us get to know you that's the thing because you tought if we get to know you and see who you are and we wouldnt wanna be with you." "why werent you honest from the begining?" "I never told you" "You could have said:" ""i cannot be faithful"." "why did you make it into some kind of fucking romance , that you didnt believe in?" "You know i thing you've been avoiding us this whole time, by calling your mother ." "it is like you are obsessed with your mother" "I mean we cant even talk to you for 2 seconds, cause you're on the phone talking to your mother." "you substituted her for having a real relationship in your life." "stop talking about my mom." "this is not right." "everything is from your point of view." "you are not fucking interested in us, because you're so fucking into your own head, how fucking charming and funny and everything you just fucking avoid it. and you dont care about us and our problems at all." "all you care about is fucking convincing yourself that you are so desirable by getting alot of women to fuck you." "you dont even know how to be like just a person." "just a clear simple person." "and this is probably the most truthfull moment in your life right now, am i right?" "i cant believe that you're just dumping all this shit on me ." "it is really fucked up, i would never get off on just sitting out railing into somebody and telling them their character defects. it is just twisted" " so you think you really know me ?" " yeah." " and you know all my faults and all that?" " pretty well." "okay, how many guys do you think i fucked?" "None, you said none." "that's right but you said none too, havent you?" "not only its what you've told me. but i just know that you're probably incapable of it." "you dont think i know what sexual temptation is?" "so how many guys do you think i fucked since i've been with you?" "none." "more." "one." "more." "Two, you are lying." " more." " Three. i know what you're doing." " you are just trying to - more." " Four?" " yes, four." "but maybe it was three because one was Vittorio, he was a repeat." "do you wanna hear how these guys like to be degraded or how do they like being licked or touched or fucked?" "do you want a comparative description of dick size, including your own?" "i dont like this." "do you still love me?" "am i still your one, your only one that you love?" "Are you incapable of getting excited by anyone except me?" "I cant." "i mean do you still love me." "Okay i know what you're trying to do, i kind of understand it even though its twisted and really psychotic for you to do it, but i will forgive you" "Just stop, it's not working ." "you can call him, he's at Soho if you dont believe me." "Cause he is staying there, penthouse five." "And in fact he threatened to tell you if you dont go see him tonight." "i just know you would never do it because you would've never reacted with such anger" "To what i did, if you were doing it yourself." "Because if you have then you are so much more fucked up than i am." "At least i am fucking finally telling you the truth, and you dont need to pull it out of me." "See, i wasnt trying to hurt you." "Now you're doing it to me, with the intention of being hurtful" "I am not trying to hurt you, i am only trying to get on some honest ground where i feel like the rug is gonna be pulled off from under me ." "u fuck Vittorio?" "Vittorio?" "That Chippendales jurk?" "I wanna be on honest ground too." "I understand completely what Carlas saying." "Right." "Three girls." "Three girls." "I am so glad i said it." "you know what, this isnt even going well." "this little thing you guys set up to fuck me." "No. we have not discuss this." "I had no idea that she was gonna say this and i am sure she had no idea that i was gonna say this ." "jesus christ!" "And this just proves to both of us" " Girls?" "that we were sort of unsatisfied with you" "Girls!" "so you are essentialy a carpet muncher?" "and i find that term offensive." " I am sorry." " i find that term offensive." "Clamp bumper." "No, I am an evolved woman that realize that is you can get alot out of a relationship from a woman." "like sensitivity,trust, nurturing that you cannot get out of a man ." " You know there's like a gray area" " I cant fucking believe that you came here and have driven my ass into the ground for 45 minutes" "Holding all this information of what you two been up to." " this is fucking nuts ." " this is not over" "You fucked four other guys, and you've been with three women?" " yeah." " this is pathetic." "Why are you so shocked?" "Shocked?" "this fucking last hour you've been railing into me about this bullshit." "You are eating pussy, you are fucking three other guys and Vittorio ." "Fuck both of you!" "You should have know that we're doing this why does it matter if you love them or not?" "this is fucking ridiculous." "oh yeah, well have you loved anyone?" "did you really love me, did you really love Lou?" "have you ever loved anyone?" "Can you spare in between all the time you're fucking all these different people?" "do you have time to like have a feeling?" "and it doesnt feel very good, does it?" "did you ever had any real feeling?" "or did you just like play Hamlet all the time and pretend to have real feelings?" "Look, i made my suggestion and i tought it was a good one ." "Two girls and a guy." "But it seems like you guys are a little to conventional to that ." "and that's okay." "Hello?" "Dr. Cutler, thanks for calling me back, so did you talk to her?" "Yeah." "No, i think there was a very significant drop in her voice, 50% at least." "well no offence, maybe you dont know i've talked to her three times a day and i know there is something different." "do you think it is possible that ?" "yes, she's still smoking." "i dont know what she told you, but that's the truth." "well when you tell me not to worry dont worry, I am worried!" "your proffesional opinion?" "listen, i know my mother and i am telling you there is something wrong with ther." "and i think that she should probably be admitted today." "well i dont think that's acceptable. allright, so if you're not gonna be in the office then give me you want me to call you?" "do you want me to track you down to the 9th hole?" "I am telling you that i need your help, and you're telling me not to worry, and i am worried." "well then refer me to someone else." "I am telling you there's something wrong, i got to bring her in." "I am relaxed, but i dont understand why you're... what do you suggest?" "is that all you have to say?" "you are a fucking kwack." "I'll do it myself." "i am tired of this bullshit." "I am gonna go upstairs and make a phone call." "okay, I apologise if i was deragatory about your bisexuality." "it's ok." "I gotta go see my mom in a couple of minutes cause there's something." "this guy is in a piece of kwack." "just five minutes." "i feel bad about everything, i do." "i am sorry i reacted the way i did in there." "i just, words are not serving me at all." "i think that language is always lies." "that is why i like playing the piano, because there is no words." "what is your point, what do you wanna do?" "i dont know, i am very reluctant to say goodbye." "i think there's something exceptional to accomplish, not to ditch our relationship right now?" "even if i think that i think the cycle would still continue." "Finally it will just come down to chemistry." " Hormones." " the only thing to do." "when you're overcome with overwhelming desire" " just submit to it" "even if it is admitted to?" " did i do that?" " What?" "like you want me to say:" ""Hi, how is your day?"." ""it was great, i fucked this guy, how was yours?"." "what are you saying?" "that after everything it is better to lie?" "I am just saying that maybe we're just not capable of monogamy." "maybe for some people it's like nature, maybe we're just" "Fucked up?" "Maybe monogamy violates some part of our being desire makes us feel alive. we need to feel desired." "And to say no is like automutilation." "some people are so desperate they need to feel like they are not alone so they pretend like they can love one person exclusively." " they being you and I ?" " would you argue with that?" "I'd like to, but i dont think i can make a valid argument." "i think that regardless of whether or not you can trust me or i can trust you, when i am not with you and we trust ourselves" "it doesnt mean that we just can right now." "i think we should continue and see what happens." "I gotta go see my mom." "I'll be right back don't leave, okay?" "I am gonna go." "here's my number." "if you ever have the beer, i'll always have the time." "and i dont mean just sexually." "not just sexually anyway." "Hi." "Manhattan." "Frank E. Campbell." "it is a business." "Camp... the letter E." "it's Campbell, C-A-M-P-B-E-L-L." "it's a funeral home." "Hi, i am calling" "Hi" "Hello." "yeah, i am calling to make funeral arrangements for my friends mother." "Dorothy Allan." "okay, we'll be there then." "are you okay?" "we should go." "i am gonna get my coat."