"I ain't in the mood for a game of grab ass,cowboy." "You hear me?" " put it on my account." " On your tab." " hey,rox." " Hey there,handsome." "I thought your leave was over." "It was.But then I got to thinng once I got back on post." " Roxy?" " Thinking, huh?" " Uh-oh." " I know." "Did you know it takes exactly 7 hours and 58 minutes to drive from charleston to tuscaloosa?" "Does it now?" "Jake,paws off the tap." "Roxy... you work two jobs, right?" "And you got two kids from two different men." "Now I know I only met you four days ago, but I think you're my soul mate." " hey,roxy-- - not now." "And I decided I want you to marry me." "Well,are you asking me?" "Yes." "Then ask me." "Roxy,will you marry me?" "UNIT STATES ARMY FORT MARSHALL CHARLESTON.SOUTH CAROLINE army wives Season 1 Episode 01" "You guys see that right over there?" "Both of you?" "POST EXCHANGE" "FORT MARSHALL" "They're flying." "this is it, baby." "This is our new home." "Come here." "Hi!" "aw." "Darn it." "It's a chit for letting the lawn grow too high." " We haven't even moved in yet." " I know." "They got strict rules around here." "Hell,where I'm from,the lawn's for car parts." "Look..." "I'm sorry, but it's all we gonna get for now." "But I promise you it'S..." " this is more than we have ever had.Okay?" " Yeah?" "Thank you." "Claudia joy holden... after 17 years of marriage, my heart still skips a beat every time I look at you." "Michael james holden... after 17 years of marriage, I can't believe that tired old line of yours still works." "Tell me." "Well,that promotion should be yours tonight, not colonel baker'S." "Promotions are all about politics,claudia." "You know that." " Ah." " They played a better game and they won." "They cheated." "That is not playing a better game.That'S... it's cheating." "There will be other opportunities." "All right,but I don't like it." "you know,you could make one that vibrates, give us a little something to look forward to." "Don't think you're the first one to suggest it." "Everything looks good." "The babies are measuring right on target." " You wanna know gender?" " Uh, no." "Just give me two copies, please." " see you next week?" " I'll bring the wine." "you're ten minutes late for curfew." "sorry, sir.It won't happen again." "That's not good enough,son." "You made a commitment to be home by 1800 hours." "You keep your word." "You stand up when I'm talking to you." "Jeremy,you are 17 years old." "It is time to be a man." "Keep your commitments or you will never become an officer." "You're dismissed." "You're leaving tomorrow,and it's hard on him... obeying you now and then listening to me when you're gone." "Well,just don't coddle him." "You're just gonna get him killed somewhere down the line." "Soldiers,please rise for a toast to the president of the united states." " Hey,what are you doing?" " I'm looking for the president." " Baby,he's not coming." " To the president of the united states." "to the president." "The president of the united states has reposed special trust and confidence in the abilities of colonel theodore H.Baker." "He is therefore promoted to the rank of brigadier general." "how'd you shoot today?" "I cleaned up to 600 yards, but then I pulled a few after that." "Good,but I'm not sure if it was good enough." "I told you,honey.You gotta loosen up." "You tend to lock your forearm, and it throws off your aim." "Okay,I know.Can you not do that here,please?" " I had an ultrasound today." " I know." "You could show up to one of them." "Let's not talk about that right now." "I'm just saying it looks funny,you know, my husband never being there." "Well,I have to train,pamela." "I can't do both." "At ease,both of you." " I wasn't supposed to do that,was I?" " No, ma'am." " I'm roxy, his wife." " Mrs. Leblanc.Major sherwood." "Now rumor has it you wanna be a paratrooper." "Is that correct, soldier?" " It is, sir." " Rumors have a way of coming true." "You start training tomorrow morning at 0600." "Enjoy your evening,both of you." "You,too,sir." "Well,if I didn't just serve up toe jam on an idiot cracker." "Don't worry about it, honey." "You didn't know." "Did you hear what he just said?" "I start my paratrooper training tomorrow, 0600." "I didn't even know major sherwood knew who I was." "Now come on." "oh, damn it to hell." "god." "right, right." "All right, you know what?" "I gotta go back in." "he's gonna be wondering where we are." "Frank's leaving tomorrow,isn't he?" " Mm-hmm, three months.The middle east." " I know." " I'm sorry." " Thanks." "Oh." " What?" " N-nothing.It'S..." " denise,did someone hurt you?" " No, of course not." " It's just a bruise." " This is more than just a bruise." "It's nothing, really.I was a nurse.Remember?" "You were in nursing school, and that was 18 years ago." "What's going on here?" "no need for tears,ladies." "Got it at the goodwill." "mrs." "Holden.Mrs. Sherwood." "Looks like I got here just in time for the 8:00 show." "hey." "He hits you once,hit him back." "He hits you a second time, shoot him in the balls." "Okay, the men's room... it's downright boring." " it's mrs.Baker,isn't it?" " Oh, lenore, please." "Lenore, I realize we don't know each other very well, but,uh,you spread a rumor that my husband, michael holden,is racist." "My husband lost his promotion to yours because of it." "Sweetheart,you've made a mistake." "Please think of something you can do to make it better." "claudia joy,what did you just say to the brigadier general's wife?" "You would never stand for someone spreading a lie to get a promotion,michael james, and neither will I." "You know there'll be consequences,don't you?" "I can handle lenore baker." "Let's go get some pie." "Oh!" "When are they due, honey?" "Uh,it's pamela." "Uh, uh, about another month and a half." " Do you know their sexes?" " We don't wanna say." "Come on now.We won't tell anyone." "Excuse me, ma'am." "I never liked her.She always acts like she's better than the rest of us." "Well,I heard she's dealing percocet." "Is that how they got that new truck?" "Did you know that gossip,because it enhances our understanding of human nature, was once considered a virtue?" ""Enhances our understanding"?" " What are you,a shrink?" " I am.That's a nice call." " So you're not military?" " Oh, no." "My wife joan is.She's a lieutenant colonel." " Is that good?" " It's very good." "How you holding up, burton?" "Two years is a long time to be gone." " It is.A lot of things have changed." " Yeah." "They had me fill out a post-deployment checklist." "we call those the "don't kill your spouse" questionnaire." "They started after desert storm,you know, all those domestic violence cases." "Can I ask you something?" "You bet." "How long before everything feels normal again?" "It never does... not really." "Joan?" "The place is clearing out.Ready to go?" "of course." " Good evening, holden." " Burton." "My first jump was at night, free-falling 120 miles per hour." "Man,it was so loud." "You couldn't even hear your own thoughts." "And then... my parachute rips open, right?" "And suddenly it was so quiet, and I'm floatin' down and I'm thinking to myself, man,what a great ride my life is." "And,rox,the best part about this is they're paying me to jump now." "Private first class trevor leblanc starts paratrooper training tomorrow morning, 0600." "Yep." "why don't you jump on in here,big boy, see if you can open my parachute?" " Maybe I will." " Maybe you will." "Maybe I will." "mom?" "Mom?" "Finn's throwing up." "I'm sorry, hon.It's crazy in here." "We're doing everything possible." "Please, as soon as you can?" "My boy's real sick." "Myyes, ma'am.I will." "another U.S.Helicopter was shot down last night, killing all eight american soldiers on board." "The soldiers from the 23rd airborne division located at fort marshall were responding to the deaths of four american soldiers by mortar fire that occurred the day before." "The new violence comes days after two other U.S.Special forces operatives were killed... hey, baby." "Why don't you go home and get some sleep?" "Are you sure?" "If you have to jump out of a perfectly good airplane in a couple of hours," "I want one of us to be awake." "Okay." "a c-17 military transport aircraft carrying the bodies of 14 american soldiers killed in action in afghanistan landed today at an american military base in germany." "The soldiers were killed by a rocket-propelled grenade... go with me." " He said to go over here." " Okay." "enlisted management,call tricare office..." " joyce." " Hi, good morning." "Good morning." "My daughter needs a physical before her cheerleading practice today." "Now I hate to put you in this position." "Can you possibly fit her in before school starts?" "Oh, of course, claudia joy.I'd be happy to." "Great.I appreciate it." " Mary, can you take them back with-- - excuse me." " Hi." " Hi." "It's me,from last night in the restroom?" "Thong?" "Of course.Good morning." "Good morning, yeah." "I was wondering if you could help me with something." "See,I'm the new girl around here, and I don't have my army wives decoder ring yet to sweet-talk my way through those magic blue doors." "Although I definitely don't want your daughter to miss a single "go, fight, win,"" "we've been here since 4:00 in the morning, and my boy just threw up on the rolling stones here for the third time." "And I was wondering if you could tell me who I have to... who I have to get busy with around here to see a doctor?" "What's your name?" "Roxy.Roxy leblanc." "Joyce,uh,would you please allow mrs." "Leblanc and her son to take our place?" "Mrs. Leblanc,you can go right on in." "Thank you." " But,mom,I need to-- - emmalin,sit down." "Come on,honey." "I used to be a cop like my dad,my brothers." "But I married chase,and soldiers don't like their wives to work,so I quit." "How'd you feel about that?" "Ugh.I hated it at first." "I was a good cop." "Plus we went into debt." "So when things got really bad, I became a surrogate." "The plan is to say that the babies died after we give 'em to their real parents." "But how do I just lie to everyone,even my kids?" "Maybe you should tell everyone the truth." "I can'T." "They'd ruin chase if they found out." "Pamela." "Ask her." "Pamela moran,can I have a word with you?" "Sorry,I'm all out of percocet, but I got some vicodin in the trunk." "Drugs.I knew it." " Is that how you seduced our chaplain?" " What the hell,marilyn?" "You know me." "We made brownies all year together for the P.T.A." "Does seducing the chaplain sound like something that I would do?" "Oh,I think we all know what you would do,pamela." "The question is,what would jesus do?" "Why,he would smack you across the face." "all right,jeremy,I'm gonna be checkin' my e-mail every chance I get, so let me know about west point when we get word,all right?" "Yes, sir." "All right now, you're the man of the house while I'm gone." "Dad,I've been the man of the house since I was 7." "All right." "Well,I expect you to act like it,all right?" "Now don't disappoint me." "hey, D." " I get teased about these,you know." " I know." "But that all stopped when I actually read one out loud, and now all the soldiers want love notes from their wives." "Your medication's in your bag, left side pocket.Twice a day." "There's some--some gum in there,and,uh, batteries,too, 'cause they never give you enough batteries." "No fear,all right?" "It's bad luck." " all right,let's get 'em on the buses." " Yes, sir!" "All right, head out!" "come on, let's go." "No wait, jeremy." "Let's watch his bus leave." "He's gone.Let's go." "*For the lead and the dregs of my bed*" "*I've been sleeping for the later pade*" "my god, that's what it says on the door." "Come in." "Do you want some fruit cocktail?" "Juice?" "What's this?" "It's a tv set, mommy." "I know it's a tv set, katie." "What I want to know is, why is it on my wall?" "Well, it's a present." "It's the ferrari of plasma tvs, mom, and it plays H.D." "And it's ours because why?" "'cause daddy's in delta force!" "I unlocked my forearm like you told me, and I made the kill shot at 780 yards." "Okay, mommy needs to talk to daddy for a minute, so go to your rooms and play, okay?" "What is it?" "we can't keep spending like this." "I haven't even paid my father back yet." "Didn't you hear what I just said?" "I'm in." "Can't you be happy for me for once?" "I'm sorry.I am.I'm so proud of you." "It's huge." "But still, we can't be buying plasma tvs." "Pull yourself together!" "Plus how does that look?" "Besides, I-I want to talk about a new plan." "Look, we had an agreement, pamela." " An agreement?" " An agreement." "Now you're trying to change things in because you're having some kind of moral dilemma?" "Don't mess this up for me." "I mean it." "You know, you've taken on a lot here." "The black fact is we're broke." "I need to do my part, get a job." "I told you I'm gonna take care of you." "Now come on.D-fac." "A factory?" "Mess hall." "Right.Right." "Well, how do you get mess hall out of that, T.J.?" ""D," dining, "fac," facility, equals mess hall." "A.C.U." "Does everything have to be in initials?" "They're called acronyms, mom." "Watch that tongue." "Well, you might as well answer, toby jack." "Army combat uniform." "What's a jody?" "A jody is a bad guy who hooks up with all the mommies when the daddies are at war." " No, no, no." " Hey, hey, hey!" "Two words--e-nough." "did you see this?" "It's an invitation to an afternoon tea." "I don't wear white gloves and I don't take tea." "I'm never gonna fit in here, trevor." "We fit, rox.That's all that matters." "I can't even iron your shirt." "Well, you have to go slow, ease into it." "On the crease..." "like that." "like that." "oh, I get it.You're gonna show me how to do it, huh?" "gonna get rid of 'em, then we're gonna... iron some more." "Oh, you like that?" "I'll just put this on." "Hey." "We're the welcoming committee." "We don't have fruitcakes, but, uh, we do have ladies' night." "I'm candace, and this here's jamie lynne." " Hi, there." " Hi.I'm roxy." "Thank y'all for coming around, but, uh," "I've got my husband and my kids, so I can't really go out." "Rox." "Go.I got 'em." "You need to go make friends, especially when I'm gone." "Go on." " just give me..." " cool." "why'd we leave the base?" "Post, honey." "Navy, marines, they have bases." "Army has posts, and, uh, we've got much better pickings off-post." "My eyes like what they see." "I thought you were married." "I am." "I'm just not a fanatic about it." "Her man's been gone for over a year now." "So y'all come here to hook up?" "Rubber and batteries only last you so long." "hold on, help wanted" "Where you going?" "I think I belong behind the bar." "Oh, you can't work in a jody bar." "No soldier's gonna go for that." "How you gonna keep a marriage?" "I'll keep it just fine." "I'm kind of a fanatic about it." "All right I'd like an application." "What's a big hot hooter?" "Do you mind?" "big hot hooter--1 ounce tequila, 3/4ths ounce amaretto." "Fill it up with pineapple juice." "Top it off with grenadine, and every hooter needs a nipple, so of course, don't forget your cherry on top." "Big hot hooter." "Are you a drinker?" "Don't worry." "Alcoholics, like blue eyes, run in my family." "I'm just lucky I skipped that gene." "Jeremy?" "it's from west point." " I got in." " That is great, honey." "Wait a minute." "Did dad have anything to do with this?" "No." "I-I don't think so." "Wait, you don't think so?" "You did this on your own, jeremy." "He may have made a call, but--but in the end, it's all you." "He may have made a call?" "I knew it." "I chose west point because he didn't go there." "I wanted to do one thing by myself, but no." "Honey-- now everyone will know the only reason" "I got in is because I'm major frank sherwood's son." "Jeremy." "jeremy, why do you keep doing this?" "I'm sorry.I didn't mean it." "If your father knew what you were doing, yeah, but you know what?" "You're not gonna tell him, 'cause that would just ruin your image of being the perfect little wife and mother." "when did it start?" "Six months ago." "Every time frank would leave or was about to return, there was something." "Only this ek, it started before he left." "Has frank ever hit you oh, god, no.He would never hit a woman." "Why didn't you tell frank about it?" "I didn't want to upset him." "Denise, listen, I hope you're not blaming yourself." "It is not your fault." "How could i not blame myself?" "I mean, sometimes I think, how did I even get here?" "I raised a son who hurts his own mother." " sweetie." " no, pace yourself." " Hey, how you doing?" " Not interested... ma'am." "I'd, uh, offer you a refill, but you being a soldier and all... how'd you know that?" "Nobody calls me "ma'am" except soldiers and boys looking to get laid." "I need another drink." "Okay." "So you just get back or shipping' out?" "Just got back from afghanistan." "Must've been tough, you being a female soldier and all." "I'm a lieutenant colonel." "I have over 400 men in my command." "You must've seen quite a lot then." "you got into west point.You should be excited." "I'm not." "I thought I wanted this, but the more I think about it... don't you ever feel like your whole life is about the military?" "You know, 0800 hours, curfews-- oh, yeah, did dad die today?" "Yeah." "Sometimes I feel like my dad's just some guy I see in a video." " Exactly." " Gentlemen.Ladies." "Oh, my god, it's my dad." "emmalin, get in the car, please." "I'll be there in a minute." " Jeremy, can I speak to you privately?" " Yes, sir." "Congratulations on getting into west point." "Thank you, sir." "Happy to call on your behalf." "Thank you, sir." "I wouldn't have done that if I knew you were hitting your mother." "It's unfortunate that your father isn't here to handle this himself." "The military has a code of honor, jeremy, and it's nonnegotiable." "You do not hit women." "If it happens again, I won't warn you." "I will find you, and I will treat you like any other adult man who hit a woman." "Do you understand me?" "Yes, sir." "Good." "Okay, move it, move it!" "Back it up!" "All right." "I think it's time for you to get down now.Let's go." "Okay, okay.All right.Go." "uh, excuse me." "Someone called about my wife?" " You're roland, joan's husband?" " Yes." "And you're a bartender in a jody bar." "Yeah." "Good to see you again." "She's back there." "Thank you." "wake up" "come on." "come on" "What I did over there... if you knew, you wouldn't love me." "I don't care what you did." "It doesn't matter to me." "I know who you are." "supporting our troops really is a great cause." "Anyway, it's good to see you." " What a wonderful party." " Thank you, enjoy." "Okay.Enjoy it.Okay." " I just can't thank you enough for inviting me." " Hi." "I know this is a fund-raiser, and that's the only reason all the rest of us are invited to one of your famous tea parties, but whatever." "I can't believe I'm meeting claudia joy holden." "Oh, don't be silly." "What's your name again, hon?" "Marilyn, and, uh, this is angie." " Hi." " Hi." "I'm married to a sergeant in the 23rd division." "Thank you so much for inviting me." "Absolutely." "Excellent." " Enjoy." " Okay." "These little teas are always such a good boost for our egos, aren't they, sweetheart?" "I'm so glad you came, lenore." "Oh, I wouldn't miss it, not after all I've been learning about you" " born to upper-class parents, about to graduate harvard law with honors until you suddenly dropped out." "Now why would you do that?" "Waylaid by love, of course." "How quaint." "I look forward to learning more." "Denise." " Oh, honey." " Thank god you're here." "You invited lenore baker?" "I know." "okay." "Glad you came." "Well, I had to show off my new look." "Thank you for what you and michael did." "Of course.Whatever you need." "How's it going with jeremy?" "He's not speaking to me, but, um, no new incidents so far." " Hey, guys." " Hey, roland." "You are such a good sport to show up to these wives-only tea parties." "Well, being surrounded by women isn't all that bad." "How's joan?" "Sometimes it can be hard for them when they come back." "We're still just, um, getting reacquainted, you know?" " oh, my." " oh, my gosh." " oh, uh, if, uh, you'll excuse me?" " oh,yeah roxy, hi.Welcome to my home." "Thank you, but I can't stay." "I have to be at work in half an hour." "They're gonna be talking about my outfit for weeks, aren't they?" "Well... yes, they are." " Hey, roland." " Roxy." "Uh, denise sherwood." "You met at the promotion ceremony." "Somebody better be missing their balls." "Um, pamela moran.I want you to meet her." "Pamela." "Here's a gal I think you should meet." "This is roxy leblanc." "She and her husband have children about the same age as yours." " So talk it up." " Thank you." "of course." "You're sitting next to the antichrist-- going to hell by association." "Oh, I reckon I got you beat on the hell front." "Last week, I was a drug dealer, and this week, I'm carrying the chaplain's kids." "you think you can top that?" "I can try." "My kids aren't my husband'S." "I was married to the first one's daddy until he sucker-punched me." "Second one's dad was just a friend who came over to comfort me one night." "I've known trevor, my husband, for all of 17 days now." "How'd I do?" "I'm impressed." "What is it?" "I think it's the scones." "okay.Your water broke, baby." "Yeah, you think?" "Okay, we gotta call your husband." "No, we can'T.He's in training at delta force." "You're gonna deliver." "Look, I'm in a bit of a mess." "These aren't my kids." "I'm--I'm a paid surrogate." "We can't go to the post hospital." "Everybody's gonna gossip." "You gotta get me outta here." "Okay.Okay." "Okay.Stay here.Be right back." "I'll show you when I get a second, maybe later on today.This..." "I need you.Now." "Gorgeous, uh, steam shower with some blue and cream tile... you're dilated about 4 centimeters." "oh, my." "Where's the nearest hospital-- off-post?" "Off-post?" " st.Luke'S." " But that's about 40 minutes away." "Then let's go!" "Roland!" "We need a ride." " Open the door." " Yeah." "Here you go." "You in?" "Okay." "Who is that?" "He's a shrink." "He's a doctor, and he has a big car." "Hi, I'm roland.Where to?" "we're going to st.Luke'S." "Looks like we got more women gettin' into my car." "Let's go.We got babies to deliver." " Relax." " Relax?" "I know." "Try, okay?" "We're with you." "Oh, mother..." "She's about to crown." "We are not gonna make it to st.Luke'S." "Don't push, pamela.Don'T." "Oh, I can't have these babies in the backseat of a car!" "I am not 15 and working at a dairy queen!" "Hey, roland, see that fireworks sign?" "Pull in right after it." "the bar?" "I'm giving birth in a bar?" "it's better than a dairy queen, baby." "Everybody out.Let's get her up." "Come on.let's go." "Keep breathing.Keep breathing." "This is not how I agined this day." "Oh, but here we are, sweetheart." "All right, and push, two, three, four... five, six... vodka and a hammer!" "I need vodka and a hammer." "Got it.Got it.Got it." "I want you to look at me." "No, wait.She shouldn't have that." "Hey!" "push, two, three, four, five!" "here it comes." "Seven, eight... okay, here, here.Here you go.Nine, ten..." "Okay." "Okay." "You having a good time?" "Let's just say childbirth is as disgusting as it is miraculous." "You got it." "Well, it wasn't me." " It's a" " I don't want to know!" " One more time.You ready?" " All right." "You all right?" "Okay, push." "keep pushing!" "Okay, I see its head." "Push!" " It's another..." " baby." "they both look really healthy." " Thank you." " You're welcome." "They're not mine." "We were in debt." "I'm a surrogate." "I get it." "You're providing for your family." "Please don't tell anybody." "We all have our secrets." "Yes, we do." "let me see 'em." "You've given someone a beautiful gift. army.wives.s01e01"