"I've had this song stuck in my head, like all day, all night." "I mean, I slept for six hours last night, and the song underscored the entire six hours." "What's the song?" "I'm looking for sperm donors, you know?" "I mean, I fell asleep reading medical histories, files." "I mean, you'd think I'd dream about that." "I'd like to hear the song." "Can you sing the part that's stuck in your head?" "I don't sing." "I don't judge." "All right." "# Tempted by the thrill of something new # # so now I turn my lonely eyes to you #" "# I promised you that we could have it all # # you trusted me # # but I let you fall #" "Who did you let fall?" "What?" "In your mind, who trusted you and you let them fall?" "Your ex-husband?" "Derek?" "No." "Why would I be thinking about my ex-husband?" "You're choosing donors, you're moving forward into a bold new chapter." "Sometimes moving forward makes us look back." "No, I'm not looking back." "All right?" "It was just a stupid song in my head." "It's never just a song in your head." "Mm." "Hi." "Morning." "I'm really sorry about this, because if you are as hungover as I am, it sucks to wake up this early, but I gotta go to work, which means you've gotta get out." "All right." "But, like..." "Now." "Because I'm late." "Right." "Okay." "The Ferrari 458 Spyder, is powered by a 4.5-liter v8." "It can hit 62 miles an hour in less than 3.5 seconds and reach a top speed of over 198 miles per hour." "Well, that sounds really good." "I'm more of a Porsche guy myself, but" "Dr. Freedman," "Porsches are not as cool as Ferraris." "Oh." "Ollie." "Ollie, can you take that Ferrari out to the waiting room?" "We need to talk to Dr. Freedman." "Drive carefully." "It's a zoo out there." "Okay?" "Um... (Chuckles) Well, he's certainly high energy." "But his blood pressure's normal, and the tests came back negative for any kind of thyroid issue." "So I can't find any physical triggers for hyperactivity." "So you think he's ADHD, just like Brian?" "It could be." "Um, how is Brian?" "He just got into Stanford." "What?" "Congratulations." "You gotta give him a high-five for me." "Although, he's 18." "He probably doesn't want a high-five from his pediatrician." "Dr. Freedman, if Ollie has it, too, we would like to treat it as early and as aggressively as possible." "I don't know." "I mean, the way he was rattling those stats off about that car, it doesn't sound like a kid who's having trouble focusing." "And if he's just a little bit hyper, you know, I was hyper when I was a kid." "Respectfully, Dr. Freedman, we've been through this before." "ADHD runs in the family, and the medication really helped Brian." "Mm-hmm." "Yeah, I mean, Brian was a little bit older when we diagnosed him." "Ollie is having tantrums." "He's throwing fits." "Okay." "I just don't want to jump the gun." "But there are some other tests we can run." "Uh, my associate, who is a therapist," "Dr. Sheldon Wallace, could probably see you today." "Great." "Thank you." "Hey." "Any progress?" "Mm." "Okay." "I think..." "I have it boiled down to..." "The classical musician and the geologist." "Okay, I'm gonna go ahead and rename them soft and softer." "I'm sorry?" "The geologist-- that was the weird kid who was always obsessed with rocks because he couldn't find any friends." "Definitely didn't have any girlfriends." "And the classical musician-- no, musicians are hot." "No, rock stars are hot." "Classical musicians are soft." "You gotta find a donor that's got a little more..." "Testosterone." "Sam..." "look, I-I" "I've thrown out 48 donors on medical history alone." "I mean, I've eliminated all potential for heart disease, stroke, uh, dementia." "I mean, are you really-- are you really telling me that I now need to consider potential testosterone levels?" "I'm just saying, you're-- you're gonna be an amazing mother, all right?" "But this kid, you know, is not gonna have a dad, so it already is gonna have enough soft, all right?" "Having a donor that's got a little bit more testosterone might not be such a bad thing." "You know what?" "My-- my FSH is through the roof," "I'm a woman in my 40's." "I mean, there's a good chance that even with all these crazy-making hormones I'm on that I'm still the eggless wonder." "I mean, I don't even know what I'm doing here." "Addison." "Addison." "You always get what you want." "Now is this something that you really want?" "Yes, I want this." "All right, then." "So pick some sperm, just make sure it's got some testosterone in it." "What game are you playing?" ""Drive."" "I'm about to get three stars on every level." "Wow." "That's very impressive." "How are your grades in school?" "Bad." "I got a "b" in English." "Three stars!" "A "b" is bad?" "Tell Dr. Wallace how hard it is for you to do your homework alone." "Mom and dad always help me on my homework because it takes me too long on my own." "And you can't sit still during reading time at school, right?" "When can we go home?" "May I speak with Ollie privately?" "I don't see why that's necessary." "He's 8, and he's perfectly well-adjusted." "He doesn't need therapy." "Well, if he's perfectly well-adjusted, then why are you here?" "He's hyperactive." "It would help me to assess him if I could have a few moments with him." "He's a young boy." "You're a man we're just meeting." "We're not gonna leave him alone with you." "Okay." "I understand that." "Why don't we make an appointment for him to take some diagnostic tests?" "And if you give me the name and number of his teacher," "I'll speak with her and..." "Have her complete some diagnostic inventories, and... we'll get back to you." "We didn't have to go through all of that when Brian was diagnosed." "Our diagnostic approach has changed in the last decade as we've come to better understand the disorder." "And most people think that's a good thing." "Prescribing any drug for a child is not something that should be taken lightly." "Okay." "Well, thank you for your time and your somewhat startling condescension." "Mrs. Graham-- we are good parents." "Our oldest son is headed to Stanford, and Ollie is on the honor roll at school, and that's not because we're running around getting prescriptions for drugs that our kids don't need." " So thank you..." " I-- for your time." "Come, sweetie." "But we'll be finding a new doctor." "Thank you." "Dr. Turner." "Have a seat." "You're very smiley today." "I get really smiley when I have good news." "For this reason, I'm terrible at poker." "For me?" "You have good news for me?" "The board has agreed to revisit your case." "Revisit?" "Wh-what do you mean?" "What does that mean?" "It means we have work to do, because we've convinced them that suspending you for a year was not in the best interest of your patients." "It means we have a shot, Dr. Turner, at getting you back to work sometime soon." "Hey, Jason, I want you to call me Violet because I'm gonna give you a hug right now, and for that, I think we need to be on a first-name basis." "Thank you." "You're welcome." "You're late." "I'm not feeling well." "Amelia." "Yeah." "I heard about your friend Michelle." "I'm very sorry for your loss." "Thanks." "But it's not an excuse for you dropping the ball at work." "You've been late repeatedly, your charts are a mess." "If you need a leave of absence while you mourn your friend, all you have to do is ask me." "Charlotte, all I need is for you to get off my back." "Do you think you can do that?" "I have a job to do here, and-- this isn't your job." "Harassing me is not your job." "Babysitting me, checking up on me, breathalyzing me, it's not your job." "It's your damn hobby." "You know, seriously, Charlotte, what I-- what is your problem with me?" "What is your damage?" "Hey, baby, guess who I ran into today." "Aah!" "Oh, my God." "Who the hell is she?" "I'm his damn wife, you whore." " Charlie, wait." "Now let me explain." " Aah!" "You son of a bitch!" "How could you do this?" " I'll kill you!" " Get off of him!" "I'll kill you!" "A decade before Ollie was born, that's how long I've been treating this family, and five minutes with you, and they're running for the door." "You shouldn't have sent them to me if all you're looking for was a rubber stamp." "I was looking for a second opinion about the meds, not some kind of judgment about their parenting." "I mean, granted, Rosie is a bit of a tiger mom, and that can be off-putting, but it's not uncommon." "I don't think I got the whole story." "Ollie is a little bit hyperactive, but he doesn't seem like he can't focus." " And his answers seemed coached..." " Oh." "You know, to put it mildly." "The whole thing was odd." "What, parents coached a kid so he could score ADHD drugs?" "So says Sheldon." "I mean, these are good parents." "I've known them a long time." "They're good people." "Good people make terrible decisions every day." "My field is pretty much based on that." "It doesn't surprise me." "The diagnosis of ADHD is epidemic in this country." "We all know the hysteria, Pete." "But that doesn't mean it's not real and it doesn't mean that Ollie's faking it or was coached." "Okay, maybe these kids are unfocused because we're pumping them full of caffeine and sugar and preservatives." "We should look at diet and exercise before we just write 'em a scrip for speed." "ADHD drugs can be very effective, but they have to be used sparingly and only in clear-cut cases." "Okay, I just don't see that here, Cooper." "Yeah, and if Sheldon is right, the parents are coaching their kid to get drugs, it's--it's child abuse." "I need sperm." "I need you to help me choose sperm." "I have to pick a donor today and..." "Oh, for the love of God." "I need a consult." "Can you all... just please give me a consult?" "A sperm consult?" "Shut up." "Please just shut up and help me." "What is this, fantasy football?" "Fantasy sperm ball." "Really?" "Don't judge." "I needed help." "All right." "I say, go with the historian." "History's cool." "How is history cool?" "You understand that the baby isn't necessarily going to be an historian yes, but the historian is Greek, and they have some good genes." "They never sunburn, the greeks." "They only tan." "So you're saying I should choose a donor based on the amount of melanin in his skin?" "I mean, you're pale as a ghost." "You want to spend" " your whole kid's life worrying about melanoma..." " I think that's valid." "I'd tend to agree." "All right." "Take down the Swede." "Yeah, sure." "The Swede is gone." "Okay, I think the PhD is gonna be too intellectual." "What's wrong with intellectual?" "Well, Addison is fun-loving." "She doesn't want to sit around analyzing everything all day-- are we talking about Addison or-- oh, come on, Sheldon." "I'm not talking in metaphors here." "Not consciously, but you did just describe your wife." " Okay." " Ooh." "Focus, people." "We are running out of time." "Now come on." "Let's do the pros and cons of the pro athlete." "Well, there--there are no cons to a pro athlete." "Well, that depends what sport he played and how many times he got hit in the head." "What, you think his concussion rate is directly related to his spooge?" "Can we please not call it spooge?" "You know, pro athletes generally run high on testosterone." "If you had a boy, it could be hard to handle." "Then you just bring him to Cooper." "He'll dose him up on some heavy pharmaceuticals..." "You know what?" "You make this so much less fun." "Where are the women in this practice?" "Where?" "Where are the women?" "Okay, Addison, you're overthinking this." "Okay, what if you met some guy at a bar," " and you accidentally got pregnant?" " I'm with Sam." "I mean, if you weren't." "Women get pregnant every day and give birth to babies all the time with guys who amount to little more than sperm donors." "Look at Cooper with this kid he never knew about." "It's true." "Although, Erica kinda did hit the sperm jackpot with me." "Mm." "I vote for the activist, for what it's worth." "Oh, yeah, they're very level-headed." "Okay." "I vote for the Greek." "Okay." "I'd go with the PhD." "But I might just be shining a light on my own narcissism." "Listen, you have a lot of love to give, and that's all you should be focusing on." "The sperm is just..." "Sperm." "Excuse me." "This is not public property." "Get the hell off the deck." "Hey, you're home early." "Hey." " You're still here." " Yeah." "Well, you threw my clothes at me this morning and kicked me out, which was, uh, actually..." "Strangely charming." " Uh, so I thought I'd" " What?" "I don't know." "Uh..." "Get your phone number?" "Also, I'm--I'm pretty sure I left my wallet inside." "You have a name?" "Ryan." "Ryan Kerrigan." "Amelia Shepherd." "It's nice to meet you." "Nice to meet you, too." "You coming?" "Ollie, come on!" "Stop!" " No!" "I don't want another doctor!" " Ollie, please calm down!" " Come on." " Ollie, stop." "It's all right." "Stop it." " Ollie, control your" " Oh!" "Oh, my God." "Ollie." "You hit your father." " I don't want another doctor!" " It's okay." "You don't need another doctor, buddy." "I'm here." "Okay, just breathe." "Just breathe." "It's okay." "Any chance you want to give us that prescription now?" "Oh!" "I like you." "You're fun." "You're fun." "I'm not fun." "I'm awesome." "You are awesome." "Could I ask you kind of a personal question?" "Okay." "Where did we meet last night?" "I have zero memory." "Yeah, you mix these with a few drinks, and memory sort of becomes a thing of the past." "Dude, you had party favors in your pocket, and you held out this long?" "So rude." "I want to make sure you remembered my name." "What is my name?" "It's Ryan Kerrigan." "You passed." "You got a razor blade?" "They're much better if we chop them up." "Yeah." "Razor blade coming up." "I'm sorry." "I didn't realize it was this bad." "That was mild." "They get worse." "His mind is racing all the time." "He barely sleeps." "Is he having, um, soda, or any desserts right before he goes to bed?" "'Cause that could absolutely interfere with sleep." "A little sugar makes him do this?" "I don't like soda before bed." "I don't like to eat so much anymore." "The medicine makes me feel not hungry." "Oh, what-- what medicine?" "Ollie, go to the waiting room, okay?" "Let us talk to Dr. Freedman." " Am I in trouble?" " No." "No, Ollie, you're not in trouble." "We just need to talk, okay?" "We had Brian's medication." "We just thought we would see if it helped." "Oh, please don't look at me that way, Dr. Freedman." "Was he having tantrums like this before you started giving him unprescribed amphetamines?" "With ADHD kids, the drugs calm them." "So if his brain is functioning normally, of course he's amped up." "You're giving him speed." "We thought that it would help him." "You have to believe that." "And when you saw that it wasn't?" "We need him diagnosed so that he can get extra time on his tests." "He needs the time." "Brian was a straight-a student after his diagnosis, but not before." "Ollie's grades..." "They're not what they should be." "He's in third grade." "Dr. Freedman, do you have any idea what it's like out there these days?" "We're not wealthy people, but we spent $12,000 a year on tuition for Ollie's preschool." "More for donations so that the right grade school would consider us." "We didn't go through that, we didn't spend that much money to have Ollie underperform in grade school, because then he won't get in to the right high schools, and we can forget about the right college." "So you took his brother's medicine, you amped him up so that I would diagnose him so you could cheat the school system?" "You see a third grader." "But I am his mother, and I see his entire future in that report card." "You don't want to help us?" "Fine." "But please, until you've been there, don't judge us." "And it's really the strangest decision" "I've ever had to make." "You know, and I'm--I'm looking at these baby pictures, and, uh, these family medical histories and personality assessments, probably made by the 21-year-old intern who's Manning the desk at the cryobank that night" "when the 22-year-old sperm donor comes in to sell his sperm for cash." "It's, uh, it's really just disturbing is what it is." " I mean, the whole thing is just so" " Four." "What?" "Four." "We got four." "Four eggs?" "I made four eggs." "I mean, normally, I would want eight or ten, but, uh..." "With my age, it's..." "And your FSH levels, I mean, this is" "I thought I was the eggless wonder." "Well, you are not the eggless wonder." "Oh, my God." "Oh, my God." "I've gotta, um..." "I have to pick a donor, right now." "No, no, no." "Right now I need to take these eggs because you could start ovulating any minute, and I want to get them before you do." "And then you can pick a donor." "In fact, I have a friend at the cryobank so we can get a same-day delivery." "Oh, my God." "Oh, my gosh." "Uh... wait." "You're gonna, um, fertilize today?" "Oh, I'm-- I'm knocking you out now." "Okay." "Okay?" "Okay." "Why would any parents want their kid saddled with an ADHD diagnosis?" "Extended time on standardized tests, more attention from teachers." "So you get the kids hopped up on drugs to get 'em in to a better college?" "I think when they initially started giving him the drugs, they really thought he had ADHD." "I don't believe that they would give-- those drugs are addictive, Cooper." "They're not a toy." "Call the damn police." "Okay, I hear that." "I do." "But I don't really think that the foster care system is best for Ollie." "I guess I hear that, too." "Dr. king, I hate to bother you, but I-- you're not a bother." "I have a patient-- Kelly Garrity." "She's Dr. Shepherd's patient, and she's showing an atypical preoperative visual field defect." "If it turns out to be a pituitary apoplexy, she'll need emergency surgery immediately." "Dr. Shepherd went home sick and-  she what?" " Amelia's sick?" "Cooper, I love you, but go away." "And she told me to call her if I needed her, but she's not answering her phone, and I'm not sure what the protocol is if she's not" "I'll find Dr. Shepherd." "You book an O.R. Just in case we need it." "Yes, ma'am." "Thank you." "So you hit it on the cabinet?" "I just... stood up without looking." "It was stupid." "Knocked myself out." "Your husband called the ambulance?" "I guess so." "So where is he?" "What's with the 20 questions, Anderson?" "Sorry." "I'm just sayin', your bedside manner needs work." "But I learned from you." "Here, take a look." "There's no sign of a bleed, but the loss of conscious, the pain, dizziness..." "It's a concussion." "I got it." "And as you know, rest is your best bet." "I don't think you need to stay for observation as long as your husband can help you out, keep an eye on you." "Think you can rely on him for that?" "I'll be fine." "Can you write me something for pain?" "Yeah, of course." "Something strong." "Gonna need it." "You got it." "Hey, is it all right to come in?" "Oh, absolutely." "She's, uh, she's already out, though." "That's okay." "I just want to sit with her." "So you got some eggs, huh?" "Oh, yes, we did." "Four of 'em." "Wow." "That's great." "That's really great." "It's all just kinda..." "Halfway with you two, isn't it?" "What?" "You showed up to hold her hand, but, uh, you waited till she's already out." "So she doesn't even know you're here." "I was running late." "Okay." "What are you trying to say?" "I already said it, Sam." "It's all halfway." "I mean, you're-- you're staying with her, but you don't want to parent with her." "It's one of the stranger plans I've ever heard of." " I love her." " Oh, I get that." "Yeah, it's just bad timing." "I get that, too." "I think we can make it work." "Okay." "It's not halfway." "It's just..." "It's halfway." "I'm worried about my marriage." "I'm worried about Amelia." "Well, I'm not your therapist." "I'm your friend." "And that means I get to talk about my stuff, too." "Well, yeah, okay." "Okay, you go first." "I hardly ever hear from her." "Since Michelle died, she's gone into hiding." "And I-I'm worried about her." "Worried how?" "I'm worried about her like I think about her pretty much all the time, and when I get a text message, I will it to be from her, and it never is, and I..." "Want to check on her." "You know, I want to check on her about 15 times a day." "But I..." "I don't know who I am to her." "I don't know if I'm just a colleague or a friend." "I..." "I think about her all day and I'm pretty certain that's not reciprocal." "All right." "Tell me about your marriage." "Really?" "'Cause I was just gonna give you some profound insight on this whole Amelia thing." "I really don't want to hear about it," " so just" " You're more comfortable listening." " Is that it?" " Pete, please." "Can we-- o-o-okay, okay." "Uh, you know, I-I tried to do what you told me." "I tried to remember all the reasons I married her." "But I'm overwhelmed with this feeling of-- that--I-I don't know." "I-I don't trust her." "And I don't know why." "And I don't know how to talk to her about it because everything I think to say sounds like an accusation." "That sucks." "Wow." "That's your insight?" "Yeah." "Dr. king, I have an update on Kelly Garrity." "The pituitary adenoma is bleeding and the blood is compressing the optical chiasm." "Well, how'd it start bleeding?" "And how the hell did Dr. Shepherd miss it?" "It's unpredictable." "The problem is, the nerve will die if the blood compresses it for too long." "We have about 30 minutes before she loses her vision permanently." "Have you done this surgery before?" "No, ma'am, but I have watched several and assisted twice." "I feel confident that given the opp-- shut up and page Dr. Shepherd again, then prep the patient, get scrubbed, and stand by." "Yes, ma'am." "Thank you." "Hey there." "Hey." "Excuse me." " Anderson" " No." " It still hurts." " Charlotte." "It's called post-concussion syndrome." "Charlotte, it's been months." "It's too long." "It's too many refills." "Please don't judge my healing process." "I'm in pain." "I just need some more painkillers." "It's really that simple." "Fine." "I'll write you something lighter." "Damn it, Anderson." "You think I don't know what's best for me?" "This stuff is addictive." "You think I don't know that, too?" "Look at me." "Do I look like an addict to you?" "Or do I look like a person who's showing up for work every day, doing my job, despite the staggering headaches that people like you are causing me?" "I bumped my head again yesterday." "Same cabinet, same spot." "Hurt like hell." "It was stupid." "I'm having that cabinet removed this week." "Now just, please, write the scrip for me." "All right?" "This is the only thing I can't do for myself." "# ..." "Past his prime #" "# Come on, kid # # you and I #" "#" "Oh, God!" "Oh, God!" "Oh, God!" "Oh, God." "Please live." "Please... don't die." "Please." "Uh, patient 135 suffered from compulsive behavior secondary to borderline personality disorder." "I saw her for three years, during which time she went from jobless, promiscuous, and sleeping on her mother's sofa to being gainfully employed, abstinent from her sexual compulsions, and in a seemingly steady relationship for about a year." "Um..." "I-I don't know where she stands right now because we had to abruptly end treatment." "Okay, uh, patient number" "Violet, I have enough." "You do?" "Yeah, I-I have a veritable mountain here." "A bad attorney could make a case for your reinstatement," " and I'm not a bad attorney." " Are you sure?" "Yeah, between the procedural mistakes the board investigator made, the documented burden suffered by your abandoned patients, yeah, I'm sure I have enough." "I'm also sure the sushi place down the street has the best spicy tuna you've ever tasted." "Can I buy you dinner?" "I'm married." "Dr. Barksdale." "I haven't heard from Dr. Shepherd." "I have to get in now if I want to save her sight." "Listen to me, you save her life first and her vision second." "And I want you to take deep breaths and pretend to yourself that you're confident." "Pretend to yourself that you're a hell of a lot more confident than you're showing me right now." "Yes, ma'am." "You can do this." "You trained for this." "Yes, ma'am." "Thank you." "Go." "I'm sorry." "Charlotte, will you let me check you out now?" "No." "I wasn't in the accident." "It's not my blood." "It's her blood." "Charlotte, you're in shock." "It's not my blood." "It--it's her blood." "She wasn't wearing a seat belt." "She was driving recklessly." "You did everything you could." "It's my blood." "It's her blood." "It's her blood." "What's he doing?" "He's pouting." "Behind closed doors." "I gave him 15 minutes to pout, which is almost up." "What's he upset about?" "He's upset about a "b" plus?" "He likes to get straight a's." "Ah." "I liked to get straight a's, too." "Well, then that's definitely something he gets from you." "So, uh, what happens after 15 minutes?" "I, uh, force feed him ice cream, tickle him till he laughs." "Seriously?" "He gets 20 minutes if he's upset about something real, but, yeah, a "b" plus?" "15 minutes, then forced fun." "Time's up, Mason!" "And your father's here to see you." "Hey." "Did she show you my test?" "She did." "So you think I'm stupid?" "No." "You know what I think is stupid?" "Long division." "In all my years as a doctor," "I never not had a calculator in my pocket whenever I had to do long division." "Wow." "Look at that." "A smile without even any tickling?" "No tickling, mom." "None?" "Not even a little bit?" "Ah, you heard the man." "No tickling." " No tickling!" " Stop it!" "Oh, my goodness." "Oh, my gosh." "Oh, no "b" pluses either." "No tickling." "Put me down." "No tickling." "#" "Hey." "# and you're leaving #" "How you feeling?" "Did you choose yet?" "You know, you can tell me, 'cause..." "I'm sorry about this morning." "There's absolutely nothing wrong with being a geologist or a musician." "Hey." "What's wrong?" "I did this to myself." "What?" "# Where you are #" "Put myself in a position where." "I'm trying to pick a total stranger to impregnate me and..." "I'm a cheater." "Oh." "I cheated on Derek." "I did this myself." "Shh." "# I remember #" "Addison, look at me." "Look at me." "Now I want you to tell me what you think of me." "What?" "Tell me what you think of me." "Like, uh, describe my traits." "Just... humor me." "Okay." "Go." "You..." "You're kind." "Really, you're really, so kind." "And you're generous." "I mean, you'd do anything for anyone." "And you're..." "You're loyal." "I feel like if you and I lost touch," "I could call you from a cave in 20 years, and you'd..." "If I needed some help, you'd find a way to come get me." "What are you doing in a cave in 20 years?" "Did you become a terrorist?" "You're funny, too." "And you're..." "You're warm and you're calm." "You know, when everyone else is..." "Frantic and scared and... irrational, you're calm." "You're centered." "And you're smart and wise, which are not both the same thing, and not many people have both, but you do." "You're..." "You're just..." "You're just good, Sam." "# Where you are #" "Thank you." "And at the risk of sounding terribly arrogant," "I think you're right." "I think I am a lot of those things." "But, uh..." "I also kissed my ex-wife..." "When you were away at your mother's funeral." "# Come back down #" "Yeah." "It's a wretched thing to do." "It's not good, it's not kind..." "It's not loyal." "So..." "I'm that, too." "Everybody's not just one thing, Addison." "Not everybody's just all good or all bad, you know, both light and dark..." "Together." "# Blew right over #" "And you're no exception." "#" "You are beautiful and smart, sexy." "You're kind and warm and unbelievably loving." "And you cheated." "That doesn't mean that you should be punished or that you should punish yourself." "It just..." "Means you're normal, like everybody else." "# Where you are #" "It means you're..." "# Where you are #" "Imperfect..." "Like me." "# ..." "Are #" "So..." "#" "I think that you should go..." "With the musician." "# Where you are #" "Because we all could use a little more music in our lives." "Mm." "I want more." "Do you have anymore?" "I'm out." "It sucks." "Ah, did I forget to mention that I'm a doctor?" "There is an all-night pharmacy right around the corner." "Holy crap." "I think I'm in love." "Dr. Freedman, what are you doing here?" "I just came to see your mom and dad, Ollie." "Are they around?" "Dr. Freedman." "Hi." "What's wrong?" "You know what, sweetie?" "Just go to your room." "I'll be right there." "It's okay." "Uh..." "It's child abuse." "Not just giving him the drugs, which is..." "You know, I should've called child protective services-- you what?" "I said I should've." "I didn't, because the hell Ollie could suffer in that system is worse than the hell he's already suffering here." " But..." " Dr. Freedman-- it is child abuse, the amount of pressure you put on him." "It's child abuse that he's afraid to bring home a "b"" "in the third grade because you're convinced it's gonna keep him out of the Ivy leagues, that" "Dr. Freedman, are you a parent?" "Do you have any idea what kind of pressure these kids" "I-I am." "I am a parent." "And I feel..." "I look at my son, and I want to right in advance every wrong that could ever come down and fall on him in his entire life." "And I can imagine that that's what you think you're doing, because I believe that you love your son." "But you know what?" "People that hit their kids, they love them, too." "And they think that what they're doing is for their kid's best interest." "You're making him afraid to fail." "An 8 year old can't be afraid to fail." "I mean, 'cause, you know, life is..." "Full of failure." "It's how we learn." "And all Ollie is learning is that the way he is is not enough to live up to your standards." "That's..." "That's wrong." "It's abuse." "So here's what's gonna happen." "You're gonna bring Ollie in to see me every month for a checkup and a blood test, because I can't control what kind of crap you pump into his mind, but if I catch you pumping any more crap into his body," "I'm gonna skip child protective services, and I'm just gonna call the damn police." "Do we understand each other?" "We do." "All right." "Uh..." "I will see you and Ollie in a month." "Amelia!" "Go away, Charlotte." "You're taking drugs." "You're taking pills." "That's why you're blowing clean." "This is harassment." "If you don't watch out, I am gonna hit you with a lawsuit and a restraining order." "Your patient Kelly Garrity, she nearly went blind today." "What?" "Her tumor started bleeding." "Frankly, we're lucky she's alive, 'cause the resident who had to do your surgery sure as hell coulda killed her." "All because you went home sick." "I am sick." "You don't look sick, Amelia." "You look high." "Excuse me." "You want to sue me?" "That's fine." "Sue me." "But you won't step one foot into my hospital until you get some help," " 'cause I'm not gonna stand back and watch while you-- - you know what?" "Save your speech, Charlotte." "It's cool." "I quit." "# mm #" "# Do, do, do, do, do, do #" "Hey." "Is he asleep already?" "Yeah." "He went down early." "Oh." "So I was with my lawyer all day today, and he says there's a good chance" "I'll be back at work soon." "And, uh, then I went to the practice, looking for you." "I was here." "# I don't know how you endure the pain # # if you feel... #" "I, uh..." "I know you're having trouble." "And I think you're having trouble trusting me, and I think some of that is maternal projection..." "But part of is that you think I'm gonna-  oh, my God." " No, no, hear me out." " No!" "No, Violet." " Hear me out." "Hear me out." "I am so unbelievably sick and tired of hearing you out." "I am sick of being processed and psychoanalyzed and being told that I'm the only one that has a problem." "That is not what I'm saying-- and I am so sick of being lectured by you that if I never hear you out again" " as long as I live" " Pete, you d-- no, I hate this." "I hate this!" "# What I knew then # # if I hadn't forgotten # # what we meant #" "How was your day?" "Oh, it started out great, ended..." "It ended on a pretty sad note." "Mm." "Mine, too." "It sucks." "Yeah." "# If I hadn't forgotten #" "I'm grateful that I have you to come home to." "# Oh, oh, oh #" "I'm grateful." "God, I am so grateful." "# Tempted by the thrill of something new #" "That's my egg." "That is your egg." "Oh, it's pretty." "All right, now..." "Look over here." "The musician." "Wow." "His guys can swim, huh?" "Okay, now..." "Watch this." "Are you putting it in the needle?" "Yeah." "# If I'd done... #" "Let's bring your egg back over." "# To make things right #" "Okay, watch this." "# I'd know love # # before I lost it # # if hadn't... #" "Here we go." "# Forgotten #" "It's in." "That's it." "Well, that's it for now." "Now we wait, let it grow for three days, then we-- then we implant them." "# Oh #" "You're happy, aren't you?" "I am..." "Wow." "Yeah." "I'm happy." "Good." "I'm happy, too." "# Oh, what I knew then # # yeah, yeah # # if I knew now #" "Sam cheated on me." "Okay." "You look..." "Are you happy about that?" "No, no, not happy, just..." "Free." "You broke up?" "No, no, it's just..." "Okay, Sam did this terrible thing, but I still love him." "I still think he deserves happiness." "I don't think he's an awful person." "He's a good person who made a mistake." "And I don't think he deserves to be punished." "My God, he probably punished himself plenty." "And you were right..." "The other day, about the song." "It wasn't just a song in my head." "I was still punishing myself." "And that song..." "It's not in my head anymore." "# Mm #"