"It's a big claim." "Cops want to nail the guy who stole it too." "We have to pay out $30,000." "To them, it's another heist." "Has the owner stashed it someplace?" "Is she trying to defraud us out of a lot of money?" "If you have a large sums of cash in the house, we insist on certain alarm and security alarms which my supervisor has to approve." "But what we usually do is handle the installation ourselves." "Sweetheart, can I get you?" "John, do you have a minute?" " I haven't had lunch." " What do you want?" "Cherry cheesecake, prune Danish and some Hershey bars." "And something sweet." "Some chocolate covered raisins." " I found the missing Picasso." " I don't believe it." "Galaxie Opticals." "They rolled it up, it's in a telescope." "How'd you figure it out?" "It wasn't easy." "I was looking for a picture of a woman with a guitar, but it's all little cubes." "Took me two hours to find the nose." "Better call the cops." "Right away." "Would you excuse me?" "Rosie, get me the fingerprints on the Leland claim." " Who won the 6th at Aqueduct?" " Your horse came in 7th.." "Never bet on a horse with Parkinson's." "Congratulations." "I heard you recovered the Picasso." " Yeah, congrats." " It was a breeze." "Here's something till your order arrives." "You want to be my date tonight?" " What' tonight?" " George's birthday." "We're taking George out." "Sure." "But you have to get me home and in bed by midnight." "That's exactly what I was planning." "That girl has a body that won't quit." "It won't stop 5 minutes for a coffee break." "Briggsie, I forgot to tell you..." "Where are my..." "Rosie!" "Where are my files?" " Where are my files?" " Moved." "They moved the files?" "Why?" "Streamlining." " This is Fitzgerald?" " Who else?" "Did you take the files out of my office?" " Can you come in like a human being?" " Did you move my files?" "Or like an orangutan." "That would be a step up, too." "Put them back now." "This instant." "You knew about the move." "Take my files and put them back in my office now." "You had time to move them yourself?" "If you were a man, I'd slam you in the teeth." "If I were a man, you'd be hiding under the desk." "I gave you an order." "An order?" "Who you think I am some peroxide stenographer with brains in her sweater who rear you pinch?" "Pinch?" "I couldn't get my arms around it." "I work for Magruder, not you." "We're turning this place around." "I've been working here twenty years." "You're here six months." "I'm not interested in your ideas." "Get my files and put them back now." "Or what?" ""Or what?"" "This is the question you ask me?" ""Or what?"" "Are you saying, "or what?" to me?" "Get off my toe, or you'll sing castrati with a glee club." "I hated you from the day you set foot in this office." "You hate any woman who doesn't have a double-digit I.Q." "I'm a good judge of character." "I hate you and the chancellor of Germany with the moustache but not in that order." "Don't let the door hit your back and fracture the your pelvis." "You tell her who's boss?" "How can she talk to me like that?" "She thinks she's smarter because she graduate from Vassar and I went to driving school." "Does she know how many cases I cracked?" "Never trust a woman who whistles for her own cabs." "Miss Fitzgerald?" "Is that Miss Fitzgerald's lunch?" "Sorry it's so late." "No problem." "Here, keep that." "This is Fitzgerald's lunch." "I'll deliver it to her." "You got to come to some terms with her." "We don't need an efficiency expert." "The old man wouldn't have got one." "You were going to take her for a drink to clear the air." "I did." "I took her two weeks ago to Rocky's Bar." "You and her at Rocky's Bar?" "Sorry I'm late." "No problem." "It's just and hour and fifteen." "My meeting ran long." "No, I understand." "We're getting rid of that antiquated filing system." "I can find anything I need." "I got a feel for where all the stuff is in my office." "A central data file will be on the 2nd floor." "You'll get used to it." "What's wrong?" "You look flushed." "I'm just a little warm, that's all." "You have all your business meetings here?" "It's near the office." "Coat check girl's pretty." " You don't like it?" " It's fine." "It gives new meaning to the word "dive" but it it's convenient." "I thought you'd like the thick smoke." "You don't need as much make up." " What's the lady is having?" " Tequila." "So,..." "Betty..." "Betty Ann..." "Can I call you...?" "I can call you Miss Fitzgerald." "I have no problem with that." "I,... tell me about yourself." "Myself?" "Your hopes, your dreams." "Are you married?" "Obviously not or it wouldn't be "Miss Fitzgerald"." "Do you have a boyfriend?" "Is this why you got me here?" "I just,..." "What's your life like?" "Do you have any hobbies?" "I have a meeting in 15 minutes, so..." "Your marital status is none of my business." "Maybe it's a touchy point with you." "You're possibly divorced or widowed." "Maybe your husband committed suicide." "I could understand that." "Mr. Magruder hired me to streamline the office." "I'm going to." "But if something's not broken, I say, why fix it?" "There's a reason North Coast has slipped from the top five." "There's enormous waste and duplication." "Not in my department." "Any department can be run more efficiently and economically." "Perhaps North Coast should eliminate the investigative division and farm out cases privately." "Would it be possible to have a drink and discuss that?" "We are having a drink." "You don't know what you're saying." "You came in here like a steamroller." "You felt threatened by me the day I started." "I was I a challenge to your little state-within-a-state... and I'm not some wind-up doll to tickle at the cooler." "I'm smarter than you." "I'm faster." "I see right through you." "You're right to feel threatened." "I am threatened by you?" "It's fascinating how many men I meet with a fragile masculinity." "Fragile masculinity?" "One more crack about my religion and I'll..." "I have to go." "Honey, let me level with you." "Despite all your highfalutin' talk about streamlining what you really need is a good roll in the hay." "You wouldn't know which end is up." "In your case, it would be hard to tell." "Don't see me out." "Someone may think we're together." "Do I look like an organ grinder?" "No." "Just an organ." "Get used to her." "She's here to stay." "There's something about her I don't trust." "She's evil." "We have a reservation at the Rainbow Room for George's 50th." "That'll be fun." "I don't have time to go home to change." "Does look okay?" "No matter how bad the economy gets, you'll never starve." "Good." "Wait." "Miss Fitzgerald?" "Okay, take a card." "You got to see this, Fitz." "That's the six of hearts." "That's amazing!" "How'd you do that?" " Magic." " He could do it all afternoon." "I want you to teach me one of those tricks." "Mr. Magruder, the report will be done tomorrow." "You coming to George's birthday celebration?" "No." "I'm up to my neck in work." "It'll be fun." "George is a great guy." "Everyone here's nice." "Only Briggs gives me the dry heaves." "C.W?" "He's cracked a lot of cases." "I don't see how." "Such a drone." "Gets his tips from street contacts, like ex-cons and blind beggars." "There's something about him I don't trust." " Any examples?" " Many." "He's smarmy, with those wisecracks and double-meaning jokes." "I mean, who is he, really?" "A shallow, skirt-chasing egomaniac who's probably more lucky than good." "Sometimes it's better to be lucky." "You're being too rough on him." "He's just an insecure schnook." "He has no wife or family." "He was married." "Short and stormy." "Picked a tramp." "That's a surprise." "Come tonight." "We'll get to be together." "It's the perfect excuse, an employee's birthday" "How much longer will this go on?" "Not much longer." "I'll be free by the end of year." "You love me, but spend all the important holidays with her." "Life can get so complicated when you think it's simple." "Come tonight." "So we can eye each other and play little games in code?" "Yes." "That's part of the romance." "We'll look back and know that... when one of us brought up Paris, it meant... we are dying to make love." "You are such adolescent." "But cute?" "Look at this." "Here's to George Bond, insurance man, father." "Amateur magician." "George, no card tricks tonight." "Happy fiftieth, George." "Everyone, I'd like to make a toast to C.W. Briggs." "Thanks to you, the police now have the stolen Picasso." "What made you think of looking in the telescope?" "What I do is put myself in the criminal's position." "I try to anticipate what he'll do next." "I think like him." "Fantastic." "I would hate to have me after me." "What are you thinking, Mr. Magruder?" "You look lost in reverie." "Sorry." "I was just reading about the Germans occupying Paris." "Doesn't look good." " C.W., ever been to Paris?" " I've never been out of the country." "Six-zero-dash-six... eight-dash-five... eight-five-seven." "That's right." "That's exactly correct." "And now for something I call "The Power of Jade Scorpion"." "For this, I'll need some victims, I mean, volunteers from the audience." "A few nice people." "Miss, would you?" "Sir?" " Here's another one!" " There's a sucker born every minute!" "Represent us well, Briggs!" "Many years ago... an emperor in China received as a gift this precious pendant." "A Jade Scorpion." "It was said to possess extraordinary powers to darken men's minds." "I can't get hypnotized." "I'm a bad subject." "Eyes only on the Scorpion, please." "Ears open... to the sound of my voice." "Look at the Scorpion." "The surrender of the mind." "The surrender of the mind." "They resist and resist." "But the Scorpion likes resistance." "What is your name, sir?" "C.W. Briggs." "And what do you do, Mr. Briggs?" "I'm an insurance investigator for North Coast Casualty and Fidelity of New York." "What is your name, miss?" "Betty Ann Fitzgerald." "I also work at North Coast." "So you work together?" "I can't stand her." "Don't pay attention to him." "He's a sleazy megalomaniac who's frightened of women." "Enough." "Sleep." "Silence." "The Jade Scorpion wants you to go to the deepest level." "When I say "Constantinople", you'll drop into the deepest trance." "All resistance will disappear." "When I say "Madagascar", you will go to the deepest level of hypnotic sleep." "You will obey all my orders." "Ready." "Constantinople." "Madagascar." "C.W. Briggs," "Miss Betty Ann Fitzgerald, I now pronounce you man and wife." "When I snap my fingers you'll awaken, not knowing you're in a trance." "You will be madly in love with each other." "You're on your honeymoon on a desert island." "Maestro?" "The moon shines down its magical glow on you two honeymooners." "You're deeply in love." "Ready?" "One, two, three." "Awaken to your tropical paradise." "What are you thinking?" "I'm thinking" "I'm the luckiest man in the world to have you." "I'm the lucky one, C.W." "I was in love with you the first moment I saw you." "Make love to me here under the stars, to the sound of the ocean." "Miss Fitzgerald." "You're making a mistake." "I'm not longer Miss Fitzgerald." "I'm Mrs. C.W. Briggs." "Betty Ann!" "Make love here to me here." "Now." "Stop." "Enough." "Unfortunately, every dream must turn to reality." "When I snap my fingers, you'll awaken with no memory of this event." "You'll return to your regular lives, with whatever destinies await you." "I hope they are pleasant ones." "Ready?" "On the snap of my fingers." "One, you're beginning to come up." "Two, the memory is fading completely." "Three, the Jade Scorpion has created the miracle of love." "And four, awaken." "How do you feel?" "Waiting for something to happen." "How do you feel?" "I'm not very good subject." "Me, neither." "I told you wouldn't work." "Well, I tried my best." "George, back me." "You gazed into her eyes and said you loved her." "You're crazy." "Never." "It's a conspiracy to make me look crazy." "I hope someone talks to me like that someday." "I can't bear Fitzgerald." "Speaking of that shouldn't we be getting home to feed your cat?" "I'm getting a cold." "I want to go to bed with some tea." "If you got a cold, someone has to rub your chest with Vicks." "Anyone rubs my chest, better bring a ring." "Good for you." "Good night, baby." "I knew we'd get some time alone if you came." "I'm glad I came." "Hello?" "Constantinople." "You are in a deep trance." "You will fall deeper under the sway of my words." "You will obey my instructions carefully." "You will go to the Kensington estate, where you will obtain all the jewels from the safe." "With the utmost secrecy, you will use all the information and techniques at your command." "You will do it with ease and facility." "Then you will return to your apartment, with the jewels." "You'll hide them in a safe and secure hiding place, awaiting further instructions from me." "You'll then fall into a deep slumber and awake refreshed without no memory of what has occurred." "You will wait to hear from me." "Your life will be as your life is, until you hear from me." "Obey my instructions to the letter." "You'll remember nothing that occurred under trance." "Is that clear to you?" "Very clear." "Go. the Jade Scorpion commands it." "Awful late, Mr. Briggs." "Hot on a case?" "The Kensington safe was broken into." "Jewels worth millions, all gone." "Cops haven't a clue." "Magruder is numb." "I don't understand, I burglar- proofed that placed myself." "Tell that to the perpetrator." "We're on the hook for big money, so get over there fast." "Those stones could be on the market in Tangier or Cairo." "Everything, my emerald tiara, my sapphire necklace from India." "That sapphire is the most perfect in the world." "No fingerprints, but a partial shoe print." " Man or woman?" " I can't be sure." "I want to interview everybody, butlers, gardeners, everybody." "I think your gut reaction is betraying you, C.W." "Nobody in this house is involved." "I'd bet my life." "I want to search." "Can I go upstairs?" "If you must, be fast." "We've had enough excitement for one day." "Mrs. Kensington?" "You know Alfie and I would never..." "Lotte, of course not." "What are you doing in my mother's closet?" "Well, hello." "You're one of those grubby private detectives, aren't you?" "A private eye, they're called." "A shamus." "A gumshoe." "No, I'm a grubby insurance investigator." "Private eyes are romantic." "I'm just grubby." "You always get your kicks fondling women's shoes?" "No, once in a while I'll fondle a whole woman." "You have a fresh mouth." "I'm not sure I like you." "I grow on people." "We could meet later, and I could grow on you." "You don't seem tough enough to go after criminals." "Maybe if I slap you around, you'll change your mind." "I could slap you back." "This is starting to sound like fun." "Shall we put some music on?" "Why are you snooping around?" "You're Laura Kensington, right?" "That's right." "And I have a strawberry mark on my thigh to prove it." "Want to see?" "Maybe later, when I can take the full tour." "My fiancé might not appreciate that." "Which one?" "So you follow my life." "I read the tabloids." "You've seen photos of me diving into a public fountain." "And getting arrested for speeding and throwing champagne at El Morocco." "While I live the fast life, you snoop in people's closets." "Can I help it if I'm paid by the clue?" " Did the burglar leave any?" " No." "Because he's still among us." " Says who?" " The little man who lives inside me." "So you're C.W. Briggs." "I hear you're a sharp investigator with an impressive record." "I looked forward to meeting you." "They say I always get my man." "Me, too." "Right." "I'm glad we could have this chat." "Too bad the house is full of people." "Where shall we go tonight?" "Chinatown or Harlem?" "You prefer jazz or opium?" "I prefer the rug in front of my fireplace." "Directly to your apartment?" "You always begin with the dessert?" "It depends what I'm eating." "This will be an interesting experiment." "I usually prefer more attractive, athletic, muscular men." "Maybe I could do a few push-ups before you came over." "What about your fiancé?" "If you don't invite him, I won't." " Any leads?" " It's an inside job." "No question." " That's not what the cops say." " They're wrong." "The Giants playing this afternoon?" "They're playing the Cardinals, in St. Louis." "Call my bookmaker." "Make a bet for me 100 dollars on the Giants." "The Giant to win?" "Naturally." "What do you think, to place?" "Mr. Magruder?" "Tilt." " The Kensington situation?" " Inside job, I'd bet my life on it." "You bet your life on the Giants, and they're in 6th place." "Can we talk without the warden." "Miss Fitzgerald is part of the company." "We must work together in harmony." "Why do you think it's an inside job?" "Only an inside job would be that smooth." "Miss Fitzgerald suggests expanding our investigation." " Meaning what?" " I appreciate the value of intuition." "But we're moving into a decade of scientific innovation." "Miss Fitzgerald suggested we might get you some help by farming out some work to an outside detective agency." "See if a new approach, fresh techniques make a difference." "Don't be threatened immediately." "You said I'm only threatened by women with high IQs." "North Coast has to keep up with the marketplace." "There's a lot of money at stake." "The trail's growing cold." "If Coopersmith Detective Agency contributes, fine." "If not, we're only out a few bucks." "The Coopersmiths are like Fric and Frac." "They're submental." "We're moving into a new decade, the 1940s." "Things are different." "Max Baer needs a sparring partner." "You're the only person giving me this kind of resistance." "You're a dinosaur, with your street ways and disorganized methods." "Please." "My father always stressed harmony." "I've got to go." "I'm working on a case." "We'll have lunch." "I know a restaurant you'll love." "Gestapo food." "Don't get hit by a bus, your body mangled beyond recognition." "I ain't heard a word about any job." "Nobody tried to fence anything or do any bragging." "Charlie, you've got to help me with this." "Keep your ears open." "Anything you hear, I got to know." "It's very important to me." "50?" "You must be desperate." "You know where to reach me." "Keep eating carrots." "They're working." "I think they're gone up there, Mr. Briggs." "I just have to check something." "I'll be right down." "You startled me." "I was working late." "Eddie said he didn't think anyone was up here." "Well, I'm here." "Obviously, I'm here." "Why are you so nervous?" "I'm not nervous." "Why would I be nervous?" "I'm working alone." "I didn't expect to see you." "Don't you always work late?" "That's what I hear." "Is this Twenty Questions?" "You scared me." "I'm alone, filling out reports." "Asking Magruder to remove the water coolers?" "Make wisecracks somewhere else." "I'm busy." "Don't work too late." "The bags under your eyes are getting bigger." "Good night." "And if you have a sudden coronary thrombosis, go straight to the hospital." "You were right." "We shouldn't fool around at the office." " He gives me the willies." " He's harmless." " How did you get in?" " It wasn't hard." "You had your father buy the building?" "A small tip to the super was all it took." "For you, maybe." "I give the super a small tip, he spits on my shoes." "I brought some very expensive Russian vodka, 120 proof." "Don't drop that." "You'll blow up the building." "There's nothing to read but detective magazines and the racing form." "No, I have a deck of cards with naked women on them." "Let me guess, you use it to play solitaire?" "I used to date the six of spades." "I love where you live." "It's just what I thought, a grimy, little rathole." "I'll tell my decorator." "It's the effect we were going for." "You dying to see my strawberry mark?" "If it's in the same spot it was this afternoon." "This is a novelty for me." "I'm used to penthouses and yachts, gorgeous European lovers who... sweep me off my feet." "Yet, I find it strangely exciting standing here in a grungy hovel with a myopic insurance clerk" "There's a compliment in there somewhere I just don't know where." "You taking that coat off?" "It hasn't rained in here in 20 years." "What do you think?" "If I happen to pass away while we're doing anything, have the embalmer leave the smile on my face." "Perfect timing." "I'll slip into something more comfortable and wait in bed." "More comfortable?" "Are you going to put on Jergens lotion?" "Constantinople." "You are in the power of the Jade Scorpion." "You will proceed to the Dillworth mansion." "You will enter and open the safe." "Ever heard of an Indian book called the Kama Sutra?" "I'm sorry, but we have to postpone our little rendezvous." "Pardon me?" "I just recalled a prior engagement." "I hope you don't mind." "The doorman will get you a taxi." "I had a wonderful evening." "Thank you." "You're joking." "I'll turn around so you can get dressed." "Please hurry." "I'm rather pressed for time." "Have you got a loose screw?" "Tonight was very meaningful to me." "I'll think of it in a cherished way." "If you're in the neighborhood again, drop in." "What's come over you?" "Should you want a snack for the way back home," "I have a dish of peanuts in the other room." "You hate women, don't you?" "Not at all." "They're a splendid gender." "Really." "A very pleasant variation." "I should have known." "A mousy, little clerk like you, chasing criminals your entire life." "Laura, don't be cross." "Drop in again in the spring." "The oleander will be in bloom." "I'm going." "I'm getting out." "I'm not used to getting kicked out of a man's bed." "You're very sick." "Thanking you in advance for understanding." "God bless you." "You have splendidly shaped buttocks." "I can't believe it." "It's identical." "Think someone from the Kensington house pulled this one, too?" "We did the security here." "We made the place foolproof." "Someone's a step ahead of you." "I want to speak to the Dillworths." "The Coopersmith detectives are grilling them." "I can't believe it!" "She convinced Magruder to hire the Coopersmiths." "We need all the help we can get on this case." "You want to talk to me, fellas?" "We're in on this now, C.W." "This is my case, just so you know." "Like we horned in." "Hey, they called us." " That was their first mistake." " Maybe they think you're slipping." " You know my brother Joe?" " The one who died at birth?" "I hear you're having trouble." " You guys got any clues?" " A few." "Want to share them with me?" "I'll let you know if they're real clues or a laundry list." "If we make a collar, it'll mean a long-term deal with North Coast." "I hear they're making changes up there." "I'm going to make this bust them you'll be back at your old jobs finding lost poodles." "We laughed when we heard you said the Kensington's was an inside job." "I can see we'll be tripping all over each other." "One of us is going to fall down." "We don't plan on falling." "You're in over your heads." "This is a very smart burglar and you can't figure it out if you get a confession." "We figure we're looking for a tall man, heavy set, athletic, about thirty years old." "Belly button in or out?" "If he's short, he's too fat to squeeze through the kitchen window." "Show him the big clue." "Did the guy leave behind his birth certificate?" "Show him." "No one in this house was ever to Rocky's Bar." "I've been to Rocky's Bar." "Big deal." "6 million people eat there." "We're gonna nail this guy." "The important thing is, don't think of us as competition." "Don't worry." "I don't." "Why are you upset?" "We'll get him." "Can you believe she talked Magruder into hiring those jerks?" "You've been moping all day." "What's going on?" "I have a confession to make." "I woke up this morning and found this on the floor of my apartment." "So?" "I have no memory of being with anybody last night." "That happens to everybody." "You pick up a broad, get drunk." "You didn't remember." "There was an empty bottle of vodka on the floor." "I don't drink vodka." "That's why you blacked out." "Vodka does funny things to a person." "I've gotten up with some strange-looking heads under my arm." "No, there's something wrong, Al." "I came back here." "I wanted to check something in my office." "I remember that." "This was about nine o'clock." "Wait a minute." "I ran in." "Wait a minute." "What?" "Of course." "No wonder I thought it was an inside job." "But not inside the Dillworths' or the Kensingtons'." "It's inside our company." "It's obvious." "Why didn't I see it right away?" "Only Mize, Bond and me have access to your security set-ups." "And what if someone else was given access?" "Someone we don't know as well because she hasn't worked here as long as we have?" "Fitzgerald?" "Why not?" "Why not?" "We've had female jewel thieves before." "She always saying she can do anything a man can do." "I doubt she meant stealing." "What do we know about her?" "Nothing." "She has expensive tastes." "She wears good jewelry." " I got to get into her office." " Don't." " I must." " If you get caught, she'll take a gun a shoot you." "She goes duck hunting." "It makes perfect sense." "She's here late every night." "We've given her the files." "She knows the security information." "I got to search her place." "Don't rifle her desk." "You'll get caught." " What are you doing?" " Me?" "You're going through my desk." "I beg your complete pardon." "You were snooping in my papers." "Only a suspicious, paranoid mind would say something like that." "I doubt Amish people or Quakers would come to that conclusion." "You wormy little ferret." "Now you're mixing metaphors." " I know why you're snooping." " I wasn't snooping." "To find the Coopersmiths' report." "You hired them to give me a hard time." "It's too many cooks, we're all over each other." "They made more progress in a few hours than you have in 2 days." "Were you crying?" "Your mascara." "Don't tap dance out of getting caught searching my desk." "I wasn't searching." "I was rummaging." "Get out." "If I catch you going through my stuff again..." " What are you afraid I'll find?" " You can't find your nose in the dark." "Watch out." "I'm onto you." "I know what you are." "This is silly." "We should both calm down." "You could have a stroke killing you instantly or paralyzing half your body." "She hit the ceiling when she caught me before." "Because she's guilty." "Look behind her eyes." "She's bad." "She has pretty eyes." "I said look behind the eyes." "There's something wrong." "The minute I met her, I sensed trouble." "If you two were boxers, we could get a millions dollar gate." "I got to get into her place." "Being an investigator doesn't put you above the law." "She could get you locked up." "That ever stopped me before?" "She's out tonight." " How do you know?" " I went through her appointments." "She's meeting her sister for dinner." "She said her sister's an invalid in Detroit." "See?" "Nothing she says ever checks out." "You can't break into her apartment." "It's unethical." "I won't break in." "I got the key." " How'd you get that?" " Stole it from her purse." "What happens when she finds it missing?" "She won't." "I copied it and put the original back." "You've a touch of larceny in you." "You'd have made a great thief." "It takes one to catch one, don't forget that." "See you." "Can I take your coat, honey?" "What did you want to tell me?" "No drink?" "How much alcohol do you need to be completely honest?" " You're not making this easy." " Why should I?" "Because we care about each other." "Before you loved me." "Now you care for me?" " Betty Ann, sit down." " I won't faint." "I've been dumped." "Don't say things like that." "You got me out of the restaurant because you were afraid" "I'd make a scene or pass out." "You are a volatile woman." "Am I?" "Most men complain I'm cool as ice." " I care about you." " You said that." " I want to leave Caroline." " But you're not." "I've tried to find the courage a hundred times." "All those promises?" "Stories about how miserable you were at home?" " You're making this into a nightmare." " Isn't it?" "Try to understand." "We can still be friends." "We can even continue to sleep together." "Are you nuts?" "I only got involved because you told me your marriage was on its last legs." " Sounds like I deceived you." " Haven't you?" "I didn't mean to." "I respect you too much." "We went from "love" to you "care for" to you "respect" me." "Soon you'll be buying me a prayer shawl." "Leave me alone." "Okay?" "Just go." "I'll be fine." " Honey, listen." " Leave me alone!" "I hope you stay at North Coast." "You're turning our company around." "Guess we won't be honeymooning in Positano." "I feel like such a jerk!" "Don't." "I got into this against my better judgment." " Oh, honey." " Just go." "Goodbye, Chris." "Goodbye, New York." "Miss Fitzgerald!" "What are you doing?" "What are you doing here?" " What do you mean?" " What are you doing here?" "I was passing through." " I was hiding behind your screen." " Behind what?" "That nice Japanese screen." "I was hiding behind it." "How did you get in?" "How long have you been here?" "Quite a while, actually." " You broke into my apartment?" " No." " How did you get in?" " You want to know?" " How did you get in?" " I made a copy of your key." "You what?" "You can have it for no charge." "It's good to have two keys." "Why did you do this?" "I'm convinced that someone at North coast is responsible for the jewel robbery." "Who, me?" " You're a prime suspect, yes." " Based on what?" "I know everyone better than you and you have access to the data." "So do you." "But you were so nervous the other night." "You acted strange and you have a Rocky's matchbook." "Remember we had a drink at Rocky's?" "It didn't go too well." "So you broke into my apartment and spied on me?" "I wasn't spying." "I'm a big rummager." "You what?" "I was rummaging and the afternoon and saw "dinner with my sister"." "All those dinners with your sister were Magruder, right?" "God, I'm mortified!" "If not for me, they'd be scraping you up with spoon." "That's none of your business." "And over a jerk like Magruder." "He's not a jerk." "He's twice the man you are, you roach." "Don't you see?" "He tells you stories to get in your pants." "He won't leave his wife." "You witnessed my humiliation." "It's humiliating taking advantage of a smart woman like you." "You're not fit to discuss Chris Magruder." "Look at this." "She still loves him." "Get out before I call the police and have you arrested." "I'm not letting you alone here." "Are you crazy?" "I'd ask if you had any friends, but I know the answer." "Give me this." "Jesus." "Great." "Are you okay?" "Hello?" "What are you doing here?" "I'm making coffee." "I remember." "You came here because you thought I stole the jewels." "This is a very confusing case." "I'll say you're confused." "Why didn't you go home?" "And let you do something crazy?" " like what?" " Like dive out the window." " I wouldn't even with you here." " Because I watched over you." "You stayed up watching me?" "Yes." "And you snore like a grizzly bear with a sinus condition." "I had a bad moment." "I'm fine now." " You talk in your sleep." " You probably took notes, inchworm." " Who's Rita?" " The woman my ex ran off with." "You sure know how to pick men." "There's not a lot to pick from." "You mentioned me, too." "You said I should rot in hell." " I was probably awake." " I figured you were felling better." "Now, if you'll go." "Don't gossip about what you saw last night." "Nobody's going to because I couldn't care less about your life." "I couldn't stand you when I met you and can't stand you now." "I find you obnoxious and pompous." "Do me a favor, if you see me in the office walk the other way." "And if Magruder tells you he's leaving his wife... if I were you, I'd keep my legs crossed." "Don't choke on breakfast and die, unable to dislodge a piece of toast, no matter how hard you cough!" "Mr. Magruder?" "If you'll all open your hymn books to page 90." "Sit down, C.W. We have a situation." "Your brother looks good." "The embalmer did nice work." "I'll let the Coopersmiths fill you in." "After a careful search, using up-to-the-minute techniques... we found some interesting clues." "Leading to who, Eleanor Roosevelt?" "We got a shoe print at the Kensington place." "So?" "An 81 I2-C Florsheim cordovan." "Worn by 20 million Americans." "I wear them." "For this money, you cannot get a better shoe." "We also found a couple of hairs." "One on the rug at the Kensington's, the other in the Dillworth safe." "They match." "Forgive me if I'm not knocked out." "We don't mean just each other." "They match yours." "Just like the 81 I2-C cordovans." "I know you're angling for my job..." " We got a print off the matchbook." " A fingerprint off a matchbook?" "Our lab uses sensitive apparatus." " You're not going to say it's mine?" " It is." "Well, so what?" "So I leave a footprint or inadvertently drop a matchbook." "The matchbook was found before you got to the place." "You don't doubt my honesty, do you?" "I was a Boy Scout for three years." "I have several merit badges and my clergyman who is wanted for pederasty, will vouch for me." "Nobody's making any accusations." "You do have outstanding debts from betting on baseball, the ponies." "Are you investigating me?" "I assure you this is only an inquiry in-house at this time." "We're not looking for bad publicity." "Miss Fitzgerald, what do you think?" "You're a bright woman." "You think I did it?" "Let's not have the daily bloodbath between you and Miss Fitzgerald." " She's not an investigator." " But she has lots of ideas." "She brought these mouth-breathers in." "C.W., It's nothing personal." "We all want to catch the thief." "I'm on your side." "I think we have to get team jackets." "Rosie, I want to get resumes of all our employees." "Don't worry, C.W. We'll get to the bottom of this." "Miss Fitzgerald, I wanted to meet with you later." " About what?" " Our Paris account." "I believe that account is closed." "I have to see you, just to talk." "I behaved like such a fool." "Later, just for a drink." "Well." "Can I come in?" "Sure." "I'm shocked." "The place is a little messy." "If I knew you were coming, I'd have had the maid rearrange the dirt." "Are you alone?" "Alone?" "Of course." "I'd have called, but I decided it was safer to talk in person." " "Safer"?" " I can't stay long." "You meeting Magruder in Paris?" "That's none of your business." "Thanks for defending me today." "It was nice of you." "That's what I want to discuss." "The Coopersmiths questioned Laura Kensington today." "She said she was with you the night before last." "You got a phone call, began acting very strangely... and got rid of her because you had somewhere to go." "She's lying." "Why would she lie?" "Use you head." "Would I kick Laura Kensington out of bed?" "Even if the President needed me." " Why are you lying?" " Why this crazy story?" "Because I should've spoken up today." "Even if you are a mealy-mouthed..." " Reptile." " ... reptile, you're no jewel thief." "Why are you so positive?" "It's too daring for you." "You're not romantic enough." "It requires flair, imagination." "My instincts say it's not you." " I didn't think you had instincts." " I do." "I don't usually trust them about men, but this time I do." "You're good at weasely things, like snooping and spying." "You're not man enough for a burglar." "Sounds like you're attracted to men who break the law." "Let's not discuss me." "Let's discuss what Laura said." "Laura Kensington was not here." "She..." "She was not here." "She said she left her stocking here." "That could be anybody's." "Lots of women pass through here." "There's a lot of action here." "I'm sure you're not particular." "Look, what do you want from me?" "I enjoy a well-proportioned member of the opposite sex." "That's how God created us." "Who am I to quibble with His concept?" "A case is building against you." "Be honest with me!" " I'm honest." " Where did you get this stocking?" "Some broad's." "Women lose an earring, a stocking, I don't know." "Laura says it's hers." "She says the super let her in." "The story checks out." "Whoever that is, I'm not here." " Who is it?" " Herb and Joe Coopersmith." "I don't want to be seen here." "Why?" "Am I a leper?" "You're a suspect." "I'd have explaining to do." "You're still hooked on Magruder." "Go to the bedroom, shut the door." "Can I sit down, or will I catch something?" "Germs can't live in your blood." "It's too cold." "Open up, C.W.!" "Coming." "Sure you got the right apartment?" "The mousetraps are in the basement." "Can we come in?" "Wait." "I got a chorus girl in the back room." "It isn't Laura Kensington, is it?" "I don't know." "They all look the same upside down." "She says she was here the other night, till you dumped her to go out on some mysterious business." "Would I dump Laura Kensington?" "I eat Wheaties." "But Eddie, the night guard at the North Coast building, said you made strange, middle- of-the-night visits to your office the nights of both robberies." "I'd love to chat, but there's a nurse in the other room." " I thought she was a chorus girl." " Who does a little nursing." "Gimme a break." "Can we talk tomorrow?" "How can you make love?" "You're facing a long jail sentence." "That's why I got to get in all I can now." "We'll turn this over to the police tomorrow." "The case is pretty incriminating." "It's just circumstantial evidence." "Many a man's gone to the gallows on circumstantial evidence." "The gallows will have to wait." "I got a cocktail waitress." "Cocktail waitress?" "A nurse who's a bit of a chorus girl and works a lounge now and then." "Tell me if you catch the thief." "I'll get you both new yo-yos." "What is this?" "I was browsing through your bookshelf... and I found this deck of naked playing cards and these." "What?" "This is the Kensington jewels!" "This is the Dillworth jewels." "And this is..." "Why are you looking at me like that?" "Because you found them among my collection of female art studies?" "What?" "I used to go with the six of spades." "Then the four of diamonds caught us together and..." "I knew you sneaked up to the office and the guard caught you." "You have Laura's stocking and she swears you kicked her out of bed to take care of some sudden business." "They have a footprint, a matchbook with your fingerprint." "Still, I believed that you didn't do it." "But now the stolen property turns up hidden in your bedroom." "And what?" "This makes you suspect me?" "I was touched you stayed up all night watching over me." "I thought, "Maybe he's not the scummy vermin he seems to be. "" "I may be scummy vermin, but I'm honest." "I didn't take these jewels." "How can you deny it?" "Yes, I grant you, there's a fingerprint of mine, and a footprint and the jewels are in my bedroom." "I'm starting to think I'm in tremendous trouble." "I'm calling the police." "Forget logic." "Give me the benefit of the doubt." " That makes me an accessory." " Not if I'm innocent." "Innocent?" "You haven't a kosher bone in your body." "That's how you get into problems." "Magruder's waiting for you, right?" "You make wrong decisions because you make them here, not here." "They're not reliable because this is gray cells and this is blood." "Blood circulates, it gets around." "It knows the score." "Gray cells just lay there and think." "See what I mean?" "Constantinople." "You will take all of the jewels." "Make sure you have them all." "Wrap them in brown paper so no on can tell what they are." "Go to Grand Central Station." "Rent a locker." "Lock them in." "Go home, taking the key with you." "Put it in your mailbox." "Leave the mailbox open." "Then you will go into a deep, refreshing slumber." "When you awake, you will remember nothing of what transpired." "Miss Fitzgerald, have I ever told you... you're one of the most beautiful women I've ever met?" " I'm turning you in." " I mean it." "Your eyes are what made me first fall in love with you." "Unbelievable." "You're trying to sweet talk me?" "I resisted because down deep I thought you might hurt me." "I don't want to be in that position again." "I wouldn't be interested in you if you were the last man on Earth." "And I'm insulted you think I would fall for such a heavy-handed ploy." "You must have a low opinion of me." "Thank you for dropping by." "I'm a little busy now." "Maybe tomorrow night we can have dinner." "I can look into your eyes and tell you how crazy about you I am." "If I didn't know what a squirming, trapped rat you were," "I'd think you had a brain tumor." " You're late." " I'm still trembling." "Over last night?" "I didn't sleep." "It's not that, Chris." "It's Briggs." "He's guilty, isn't he?" "It's a sad story." "Don't make me go into the details, but I wonder if he's having a mental breakdown." "He may be realizing the consequences of his deeds." "Could he have a split personality?" "Many criminals play crafty games when it suits their purposes." "I need a drink." "If I tell you something, promise not to go off half-cocked?" "Okay, but hurry." "I have some big news." "I found the jewels." "Keep me apprised, will you?" "Thank you." "The police are on the way." "It's an open and shut case." "I hate the publicity, but I'm elated at the recovery." "It's clear there's much more to this, Chris." "Being around big money can drive men to extremes." "These guys expose exotic schemes to defraud and rob people." "Some think "I know why they fail." "I won't make mistakes"." "So he's cracked from so many years of hard work?" "He's a driven man." "He had a terrible marital experience." "Turned him off women, except for secretaries and barflies." "Crushed when he caught his wife cheating, he's feeling older, he looks around and says "Maybe it's time I get mine. "" "Guy named Peterson tried the same." "Now he's a houseguest in Sing Sing." "I'm sure you know him better than I do." "It'll resolve itself." "Betty Ann, I spoke with Caroline." "You did?" "I told her I wanted my freedom." "Really?" " Isn't that fabulous?" " It's surprising." "I thought you'd be knocked off your feet." "Well, it was last night." "It's sort of a roller coaster." "Forget last night." "I knew I made a mistake right away." "What did she say?" "She sensed we were drifting apart." "She was very poised." "Said if I was sure that's what I wanted." "Another one of these, please." "You're not as euphoric as I'd imagined." "You can't expect me to change gears and turn on a dime." "Have you changed your mind?" "No." " You haven't met someone else?" " No, I haven't." "I don't understand." "What's going on?" "What did I do?" "These are the ones." "They were in his bookcase." "He bets every day and he usually loses." "He's into the bookmakers for a bundle." "I was with him Tuesday till 12." "He got a call and was different." "If it was anyone but C.W., we wouldn't be discussing this." "The jewels were in his locker." "An air-tight case." "I knew you guys wanted my job, but I could get 30 years for this." "With good behavior, you'll be out in 20." "I'll check every low-I.Q. club." "I'll find you and kill you." "Low I.Q., some genius." "If you needed money, C.W., you could've come to me." "I'd have listened, though I warned you about your gambling." "Can't you see this is a conspiracy?" "They plant some prints." "The night guard forges my signature." "This crazy girl who smokes opium invents a story." "Fitzgerald plants the jewels in my house." "There's a word for people who think everyone's conspiring against them." "Yeah, "perceptive"." "You tried to swallow the key to the locker where we found the stolen goods." " You got any witnesses?" " Yeah, me." "You'd take your word over mine?" "Let's get him to the courthouse." "You better get a lawyer, C.W." "I'm shocked." "He was one of my best men." "You know how long I've know him?" "Tommy, come with me." "Okay, Mike." "Sorry, C.W., I'll arrange things." "Stick around." "Well, well, if it isn't Mr. Fast-Talking Investigator caught with his hand in the cookie jar." "Did I really throw you out of bed?" "Why?" "You planning on using the insanity defense?" "Honey, I need help, and you're going to help me." "Am I?" "What makes you think that?" "This is your kind of thing." "It'll look great on your resume." "A suspected felon, a daring escape in broad daylight." "You like this kind of thing." "Check the top drawer." "There must be a handcuff key." "I'm nervous." "See if there's a key." "Go." "Hurry up." "I got to make this fast." "Or they'll put me away." "I'll be showering with men my whole life." "Miss, I'm sorry." "No one's allowed in here." "You want to come with me?" "Let's go, unless you want to be locked up, too." " Sorry things didn't work out." " Let's go." " You want to lock me up?" " What's wrong?" " Take your hands off me!" " Something wrong with you?" "Caroline and I are working on the separation agreement." "I move out in 2 weeks." "The divorce will take longer." "That's why the agreement must be secure." "I could get killed if we were found together." " Where are you?" " Do you think he's guilty?" " That's what you're thinking about?" " I have this uneasy feeling." "That he's innocent?" "He was caught red-handed." "It just doesn't feel right." "I don't see that snoopy termite as a romantic jewel thief." "I'd hardly call breaking the law romantic." "I didn't mean it that way." "Well, what did you mean?" "I don't know what I mean anymore." "Yes, he is." "Hold on." "It's the Coopersmiths." "Really?" "How?" "Okay." "Yes, I certainly will." "This should allay your doubts about his culpability." "He escaped." "Unlocked the handcuffs and leaped to the building next door." " C.W. Briggs?" " Like a common burglar." "I'm starting to realize none of us really knew him." "I have to go to police headquarters." "Your little termite ate his way out." " Did you forget...?" " Resist the urge to scream." "What are you doing here, you jewel thief!" "I'm not a thief, I'm a suspect." "Completely different." "A promising suspect, but I didn't do it and I need time to prove it." "Or they'll lock me up and you could only insult me on visiting days." " Why did you come here?" " I have no one else to turn to." "Everyone knows you hate me so no one will look for me here." "I need a place to sleep." "I'm exhausted." "You can't sleep here." "I can't afford the fumigation bills." "You want to call the police, call them." "I don't care." "I'm sleeping here." "If you want to call them, then call them." "Get me the 11th Precinct." "Miss Fitzgerald?" "Madagascar." "You are in a deep trance." "You will obey every command the Jade Scorpion gives you." "You will acquire all security data for the Adrian Greenwood mansion." "You will proceed there, and after disabling the system you will remove all the jewels from the safe, each and every one." "These jewels you will hide in your apartment." "Is this clear?" "Yes." "What's the matter?" "Can't sleep?" "No." "I've had the strangest dreams." "I've had some crazy dreams myself lately." "I dreamed we were finally together." "You and Magruder?" "A match made in heaven by a retarded angel." "You misunderstand." "I dreamed you and I wound up together." "That's funny." "I didn't hear screaming." "The minute I met you, I knew inside I'd found... what I'd been searching for all my life." "A roach?" "A vermin?" "A worm?" "Did I call you a Black Widow?" "I knew that sooner or later we'd wind up in each other's arms." "Have you been gargling with the tequila?" "You're a very romantic man." "What did you smoke before I woke up?" "And if I told you I had the most passionate crush on you I ever felt?" "I'd fear for my life because I'd think it was a set-up." "This song was playing the time we met at Rocky's Bar." "You remember?" "Not that I didn't have a good time, but I didn't." "My passion for you is so intense, it scares me." "Can't you see I've submerged it under hostile acts and words?" "Don't worry, I never really took it seriously." ""Crush you like an insect" just meant "back off a little"." "Couldn't you see I was just protecting myself?" " Miss Fitzgerald..." " Call me Betty Ann." "I hate to be a killjoy, but if this is a scheme to take advantage of me, it's not subtle." "You're the man I'm going to marry." "I knew it right away." "We should call Bellevue." "You need electric shock, honey." "Kiss me?" "Me?" "Lay a wet one on you?" "I imagined if you kissed me, I'd feel those fireworks." " Are you like this out of the office?" " What are you thinking?" "It's a pity we hate each other or we could've had a large family." "I'm going to swoon." "Steady." "I affect women this way sometimes." " I can't stay awake." " Easy." "I'll rest my head on you." "Easy." "I must remember what soap I used this morning." "What are you doing here?" "Good morning, sweetheart." "Don't call me that." "What's going on?" "I stayed awake thinking about those things you said." "And all of that rang a deep bell with me." "There were so many times when we were arguing in the office that I had the feeling that down deep, underneath, you were crazy about me." "About you?" "Were you dropped on your head?" "Hey, toots, I got to tell you, last night, for a cold fish, you were hot stuff." "Buster, don't call me "toots" or "sweetheart"." "I'm not some Available Annie who takes dictation on your lap." "What'd you do, sneak in here and slip into my arms?" "What's going on?" "Last night you tried to undress me and kiss me." "What?" "You came in here and passed out." "I'm confused." "The Kensington and Dillworth jewel thief has struck again." "C.W. Briggs, former employee of North Coast Fidelity and Casualty, is the chief suspect in the Adrian Greenwood robbery." "The details of the crime are the same as the first two." "The thief took $ 1 million in jewelry and a like amount in cash." "Police recovered the jewels from the earlier burglaries which led to the capture and arrest of C.W. Briggs." "So that's why you escaped." "Not to prove your innocence, but for unfinished business." "But I was here with you!" "For some reason I can't remember." "But I was asleep." "You could've awakened, robbed these people and come back." "You used this as a safe haven." "I could've, but I didn't." "You tried to undress and kiss me." "I've never tried to undress you in my life." "I wouldn't kiss you if we were on a desert island for 20 years." "After 20 minutes I'd make a bow and arrow and kill you." "What are you thinking?" "I'm marrying Chris Magruder." " You are?" " Yes." "We set a spring date, when his divorce is final." "So if I was trying to kiss you, I must have multiple personalities." "If you marry Chris Magruder, you have multiple stupidity." "It must have been the booze." "You were like a changed person, and a much better one." "If you're here after I take a shower, I'm calling the police." "For a minute you dropped your guard." "Your were actually sexy." "Though in some lights, you resemble Mussolini." "Pretty snazzy for an office worker." "Magruder must love you in an extravagant way." "He probably likes going to Paris with you more than with his wife." "I understand you and Charlie got something." "I came up with a name." "Really?" "Well, lay it on me." "Eddie Polgar." "Who's that?" "I don't know, but it's come up twice." "Eddie Polgar?" "There's no police record." "It could be an alias." "Blue men coming." "Keep moving." " Charlie." " C.W., is that you?" " I heard you wanted me." " You're hot as a pistol." "The police want to give me a lifetime achievement award." "Does the name Eddie Polgar mean anything to you?" " Zero." " I can't get a break." "Stick your hand in the cup." " In the cup?" " In the cup, yeah." "38 cents and a wad of paper." "And someone threw away their gum in your business establishment." "Open the wad of paper." " Why?" " It's a clue." "What kind of clue?" "From last night's heist." "Coopersmiths found it on the driveway." "Charlie..." "The burglar dropped it." "How'd you get it?" "A friend of a friend works in the Coopersmiths' building." "I thought you might want it." "These earrings are grand larceny." "I see by the look on your face that I helped you." "Cherchez la femme." "You know what that means?" ""Find the woman"." "Is there a woman?" "At first I thought so." "Then I didn't." "Now I think I got her." "You work next to a person for years and one day..." "I don't believe it." "Not C. W. It makes no sense." "None of us expected it, but there is proof." "Fitzgerald saw the jewels in his apartment." " He fought the cops over that key." " Exactly." "It's open-and-shut." "You don't run from the police if you're innocent." "What about the nerve it took to strike twice?" "C.W. deserves some credit." "He turned out to be a gutsy guy." "Where are you?" "Never mind where I am." "I got to get up to the office." "I think more people are involved in this thing." "I think Fitzgerald is behind it." "Does the name Eddie Polgar mean anything to you?" "No." "I got to get to the office and go over the Coopersmiths' report." "And I want to check out Fitzgerald's desk again." "There's no question, Fitzgerald is involved in this up to her neck." "You can't let your feelings for this woman color your judgment." "It has nothing to do with that." "It's the only thing that makes sense." "I go to her house, figuring no one will look for me there because she hates me so." "I go to sleep." "Middle of the night, I hear a noise and wake up." "I find her." "I figure, she can't sleep, either." "But, no." "She'd done the Greenwood heist and coming back." "I'd caught her, so she starts to act very peculiar." "I trap her, so she starts seducing me with her feminine wiles." "Meaning what?" "Suddenly, I'm handsome and and she can't her hands off me." "Does that sound like Fitzgerald?" "Or a schemer trying to play me for a sucker?" "It sounds like that magic show demonstration by Voltan Polgar." "Yeah." "The night of the first robbery." "I think she has feelings for you." "Don't be ridiculous." "She hates me." "What's the name of the magician whose name" "I've completely repressed?" "Voltan." "Voltan the Inscrutable." "The Jade Scorpion." "What is his name?" "Voltan Polgar." "Eli Voytak Polgar." "I'm just theorizing... on an incredible sequence of events." "You look like my Uncle Jerry after a truck hit him." "What happened?" "I know you told me before, but what happened?" "They brought me onstage..." "He put you in a trance, easily, despite your resistance." "Right, yes." "Then he brought..." "Fitzgerald was with me at the time." "Then you were awakened in a post-hypnotic state with a word that would put you back under." ""Constantinople"." "Then he started making these..." "C.W.?" "C.W.?" "Yes?" "Are you okay?" "I'm fine, Alvin." "How is your aging mother?" "Obviously, he was never released from the key word." "Wake him up, George." "This is scary." "Don't be scared." "This is right up my alley." "When I snap my fingers, you will awaken." "You will have no memory of what occurred." "Is that clear?" "You'll awaken feeling happy and refreshed." "Is that clear?" "So the guy gets me onstage." "Then what?" "Wait." "I have an idea." "Constantinople." "What a sense of power." "Can you make him recall everything, then free him from it for good?" "When I snap my fingers, you will awaken." "Your memory will be clear, crystal clear." "The events of the past week will come to you vividly." "And with no distraction." "You will be freed from your trance... and the word "Constantinople" will have no meaning to you." "It will not put back into your hypnotic state." "One, you're coming out of it." "Two, your memories of the past week are coming back." "Three, you're fully awake." "I took the jewels!" "The Kensington and the Dill..." "Then he probably tried to get me and couldn't." "The Greenwood thing was her..." "what is Fitzgerald's key word?" "Madagascar." "The Jade Scorpion wants the jewels." "Wrap them in brown paper and bring them to him." "Mark down the following address in Chinatown." "Miss Fitzgerald?" "Sergeant, his name's Voltan Polgar." "Someone just gave me an address." "Miss Fitzgerald." "The Jade Scorpion welcomes you." "You have my package." "Thank you." "You will now return home and go to sleep... a wonderful sleep, from which you'll awaken cheerfully." "You will remember nothing of these events." "Ever." "I was just passing through." "I thought I'd say hello." "C.W. Briggs, I seem to have underestimated you." "The story of my life." "Everybody underestimates me." "They think I'm a pushover." "It makes my work much easier." "I've seen some exotic schemes, but this one was a beauty." "But I figured it out." "That's why I get top-dollar." "Don't force me to take extreme measures, Mr. Briggs." " You'd never pull that trigger." " Oh?" "Why?" "Murder's not your game." "My instinct tells me that." "You're a jewel thief." "There's a big difference between doing time for stealing jewels and frying in the electric chair." "Once they pump 200 millions volts of electricity through you you have a tendency to spend the rest of your days in an ashtray." "For a minute, I thought I overplayed my hand." "You're the bravest, most brilliant, most courageous man I've ever met." "I would go to the ends of the earth with you." "Everybody should have someone they feel that way about." "It's such a shame that you have to wake up from this fabulous illusion." "Just once, before the ugly curtain of reality drops on both of us." "You kiss great." "What a wrap-up." " See Herb Coopersmith's face?" " Serves him right." "Where will Fitzgerald and Magruder go for their romantic getaway?" "His divorce isn't for months." "I hear his wife couldn't care less." "I hear the wedding's in June." "I heard him talking about going to Paris." "Mr. Magruder, I just came to say I'm leaving." "What can I say?" "We all make mistakes." "You have to admit, they had a strong case against you." "I know you could get a job anywhere." "But if you decide to stay, you'll have a raise." "Miss Fitzgerald won't be in your way." "Between us, once we marry she's retiring whether she wants to or not." "I'm not having a wife at work in my own office." "Think positively." "I'll be away a few weeks, we're going to Paris." "The actual city, or...?" "You need a vacation." "Why not see if you can get Laura Kensington to go?" "I wouldn't mind that action myself." "She seemed struck by you." "She's a bit demented, but in a hotel room, that can be fun." "I came to say good-bye." "Right." "Chris and I have a plane to catch." "No." "I mean I'm leaving." "I'm quitting." "It should make you happy." "You can enjoy your vacation because when you come back, you wont see me." "You can revamp everything." "No static." "Want to have a parting drink?" "At ten o'clock in the morning?" "It's only tequila." "What can you say about a woman who keeps Mexican booze in her desk?" "Let's drink to both our futures." "Today, Mr. Magruder." "Tomorrow the world." "I'll let that pass because this is goodbye." "You're really going to marry him." "For a brilliant woman" "I've got to say you have the worst taste in men." "I didn't take up with you." "How bad could my taste be?" "You know behind those nasty remarks... is a very vulnerable, sweet, sexy woman." "But don't ever let that come out because you could risk being happy." "And that would kill you." "We will be happy." "Your instinct said he'd never leave his wife." "My instincts are good, but they're not infallible." "This was one where I was wrong." "Have a terrific rest of your life and try not to jump out of windows." "Be sure the elevator's there before you get in." "One man plunged 15 stories and wound up a vegetable." "I'll let that pass, 'cause this is goodbye." "Briggsie, I was just saying, you quit, I go with you." "C.W. you're our hero." "This was a tough nut to crack." "No, this was all luck." "If George didn't know hypnosis, I wouldn't have known anything." "It's amazing." "You can put someone under and force them to do outrageous things." "That's absolutely wrong." "A hypnotized person won't do anything they won't do in real life." "Really?" "Are you saying, at heart, I'm a thief?" "We knew there was a little bit of larceny in you." "You always said "It takes one to catch one. "" "There was also a bit of larceny in miss Fitzgerald." "What a shock." "Turns out there are a lot of surprises in her." "Come here." "You have a crush on her, don't you?" "Who?" "Fitzgerald?" "What are you talking about?" "I've always known it." "You can't hate someone that much without feeling some attraction." "Says who?" "My instinct." "Come on, you were the one who taught me to trust it." "I think I'm in love with her." "It's the stupidest thing that's ever happened to me." "Take the bull by the horns." "She's leaving in about 3 minutes." "Go!" "Miss Fitzgerald, marry me." "I guess C.W.'s had a few." "Pretty early for that." "I had some tequila or I wouldn't be able to say this." "I love you." "Marry me." "You embarrassing me." "You can't marry the wrong person, when you love me." "You're making her uncomfortable." "What could make you think I could think of you that way, you..." "I know. "nearsighted cockroach" Can't you see the venom under..." "Betty, let's go." "C.W., leave here at once." "Your idea of moving on wasn't so crazy." "I'm opening up to you." "I'm putting my heart in your hands." "I was hard because I feared you, like you feared me." "This is the real thing and it terrifies us." "Yes, I fear you." "You and Boris Karloff." "Your heroics do not entitle you to be an obnoxious boor." "How is a man confessing love be an obnoxious boor?" "Betty and I have a plans, and they don't include you." "You want to spend your life married to the wrong guy?" " Why would I marry you?" " Stop talking like I'm not here." "Because it's me you love." "You're too old, too nearsighted for me too short for me." "You left out the best part." "I'm losing my hair." "Goodbye, C.W. And I mean for good." "Wait a minute." "Betty Ann, where are you going?" "Madagascar?" "Someone call the plane." "Say we might be late." "You go ahead, Chris." "I'm staying here." "I'm staying with C.W." "We have an announcement to make." "Betty Ann, You have a crazy look in your eye." "I've never felt so normal in my life." "I can't guarantee every time I kiss you there'll be fireworks." "I fell in love the second I saw you." "I want this woman helped!" "Get an ambulance." "Call my wife's attorney!" "Have them halt the separation!" "She'll take you back, with some new ground rules, but you'll adapt." "So much passion in a lousy insurance office." "Congratulations." "A little going-away present for you." "Should we get out of here and find somewhere to start making up for lost time?" "How about my place?" "I think I can live with that." "God bless everyone." "And God bless Tiny Tim." "Shall we?" "Good luck, you two." "What'll happen when she wakes up and is back to her old self?" "He'll have to say "Madagascar" first thing every morning." "My gosh, who'd have thunk it?" "What a break for C.W. that you forgot to deprogram Miss Fitzgerald." "What are you saying?" "I deprogrammed her last night." "You don't have to worry." "I'll never leave you." "Tell me how you feel about me." "You're the most wonderful man in the world." "The handsomest, the most brilliant, the sexiest." "Someday I'm going to make you really feel those things." "Anything's possible." "I made you feel that way and I didn't have to say "Constantinople"." "That's right!"