"Why are they all being so mean to Legally Blonde?" "They don't think she's smart." "She in the Senate." "I don't know, baby." "Apparently the senators didn't see the first one." "Stop signing on with my screen name!" "Don't make your password so easy to get!" "I don't want you emailing my friends!" "It makes me look like a dork!" "Guys, will you shut it?" "We're trying to relax and watch a movie." "Dad told you to shut it." "Jimmy!" "Jimmy!" "Go!" "Go!" "What's goin' on now?" "Oh, they were mean to Legally Blonde, so she went out and bought a new outfit." "Hey, Mom, can we dye my shoes to match my dress?" "Yes." "You're not even looking!" "We're tryin' to watch a movie." "Well, can't you watch it some other time?" "No!" "We rented it three weeks ago!" "Okay, but the winter prom is Saturday." "It's the most important social event until the Spring Formal." "I thought it was the Sadie Hawkins Dance." "That's after Spring Formal!" "When's Junior Prom?" "In May!" "I'm sorry." "Why is this one so important?" "Because it's Saturday!" "The movie!" "Ohh!" "What's up, Sean..." "Claudia?" "Shh!" "Movie." "Maybe we should just watch it tomorrow." "No, baby, come on." "We already owe $45 in late fees." "You could buy it for $20." "I don't want to own Legally Blonde 2-- Red, White, and Blonde." "Mom!" "Dad!" "Jimmy's tryin' to kill me!" "Why?" "Why are you guys constantly at each other's throats?" "He changed my password!" "Tell me!" "What is it?" "I told you!" "I don't know it!" "You typed it!" "Kiss my butt!" "Dad!" "Guys!" "Stop!" "Enough!" "Okay?" "!" "Upstairs, both of you, right now!" "Henry, keep your ass off the computer!" "Mom, should I dye my shoes lighter than the dress or darker?" "Absolutely." "You're not even listening!" "No!" "I'm not!" "I thought I made that clear." "Aaaaahh!" "[chuckling] Hey." "Check this out." "It's a gift certificate my boss gave us last year." ""Good for one in-house couples massage."" "You want to relax?" "This is our ticket." "Well, I..." "I'm..." "uh...dshh..." "[Claudia] What?" "We could do it Saturday night." "Lily will be at her dance." "We could get someone to watch the boys." "We could get an in-house couples massage." "Hey, Ed, what are you doin' Saturday night?" "Well, I got plans at 11:00, but I think I could squeeze in a massage." "Dad, Henry locked me out of my room." "I don't care!" "I can hear him in there typing!" "Just deal with it." "Okay?" "Okay." "No, Ed, we need you to take the boys." "Oh, come on." "We need two hours to ourselves..." "in our own home." "Just us and two strangers to rub us." "[circuit breaker shuts off]" "[Henry] Dad!" "Jimmy!" "Try typing now, jackass!" "Come on, Eddie, you gotta take them." "I'll see what I can do." "Okay, here's the certificate, good for one 90-minute couples massage." "Thanks." "So, this setting up-- this isn't part of the 90 minutes, right?" "No." "'Cause that wouldn't be fair." "Coming downstairs!" "Okay!" "Do you have the camera?" "No." "How are you gonna get a candid picture of me coming downstairs in my dress?" "We got it!" "Oh." "Sean, look at me." "I have a camera all ready to go and nothin' to take a picture of." "Hmm." "I wonder what you could-- Oh, look!" "It's Lily in a dress." "Oh!" "[shutter clicking]" "Honey, you look so beautiful!" "Oh, stop." "Aren't Brad and I gonna be cute together?" "He even picked out his own tux." "You let Brad pick out his own tux?" "Well, I helped a little." "Ha ha ha!" "No." "No!" "No!" "Uhh!" "Nnnnoooowahh!" "So you gave him total control to pick exactly the one you liked." "Mom, I have worked really hard on Brad." "Okay?" "He was born with very strong tendencies toward...dorkishness." "And I have driven them out of him." "This is the first big event I'm taking him to." "Mmm!" "So tonight she pulls the sheet off her creation." "[chuckles] Mom, this dance is important." "You only have one chance to make a good first impression." "First impression?" "Everybody at this dance has known you and Brad since kindergarten." "Yeah, but now he's my boyfriend." "That makes everything different." "[doorbell chimes]" "Oh, here he is!" "Here he is!" "Okay, get some shots of me going to the door." "Hold on!" "Hold on!" "Can I get two copies of that?" "Where's Brad?" "He better not be putting glitter in his hair." "Where are the little treasures?" "I'm not goin' out with Henry." "Yes, you are." "Well, if Jimmy's stayin' home, I'm stayin' home!" "No, you're not!" "If Henry's staying home, then I'm goin' out." "You are both going out." "Hey, Mr. Finnerty." "Lily!" "Lily!" "I can't get my pantyhose to stay up!" "Oh!" "Put it down!" "Here's your corsage." "Oh, thank you!" "It's beautiful!" "Yeah." "You picked it out." "If Lily's goin' out, I'm not goin' out." "Henry, shut up." "Okay, okay, everybody's goin' out." "Come on, let's go." "Let's go." "Let's go, go, go." "Oh, cool, Uncle Eddie!" "You got us a limo!" "[Jimmy] No, you moron." "That's his blue piece of crap over there." "Oh." "Again, Sean, thank you for this opportunity." "Oh, my God!" "Brad, I didn't tell you you had to get a limo!" "There's the bomb." "Henry, you get in." "Jimmy... you wait till we build up some momentum and then jump in." "Mom, get a picture of us in front of the limo." "Okay." "Smile." "[rewinding]" "What's that noise?" "I don't hear any noise." "Don't you guys have a dance to go to?" "Go!" "Come on, Brad." "The house is ours, baby!" "Don't be back before 10." "Mmm." "Or later." "** [soothing new age]" "[inhales deeply, exhales]" "Mmm..." "Mmm..." "Ohhh!" "Gosh!" "Okay." "Time-out." "Time-out." "Uh, can I just have a minute to talk with my wife, please?" "It's your dime." "Oh, it's not actually money." "It's a gift certificate." "But it's-- it's kinda money, so I see what you're sayin'." "I just" "I would like a minute." "Just a moment, please." "What?" "I was just gettin' in the zone." "Baby, I don't know if I can feel comfortable with a man rubbing me like that." "It's just..." "What, are you homophobic?" "No!" "'Course not!" "I mean, a little." "Sean, I'm sure that guy doesn't have any interest in any part of you that-- Okay, sure." "Okay, whatever Rick does on his private time, hey, that's his business." "That's cool." "You know?" "And--And they could be married, for all I know." "And who's to say I'm even his type?" "It's just-- Honey." "Honey." "Do you realize we're paying for this conversation?" "You're right." "You're right." "I would" "I would just feel a lot more comfortable if..." "Fine." "I'll take Rick, you take Denise." "If it's not too much trouble." "No." "It's not." "Fine." "Rick." "Denise." "Uh, we're gonna switch it up a little bit." "Sean doesn't really feel comfortable-- Oh...no." "I feel very much comfortable with everything." "You know." "But, hey, Denise, you're closer, so you might as well do me." "And, uh, by "doing me," I mean...you know." "Yeah." "I know." "Mmm." "[enthusiastically] Ohh!" "[enthralled] Ohh!" "Ohh!" "Ohh!" "Ho!" "Time-out!" "Time." "Please?" "Just-- What now?" "Privacy, thank you, for one moment." "[sighs] What?" "What the hell are those noises you're makin'?" "What noises?" ""Nnnooohh!" "Uhh!" "Nnnnyyhh!"" "It's--It's like you're being really..." "you know, satisfied." "I don't" " I don't even hear those noises!" "A minute ago, Rick was gay." "Well, he's certainly not rubbing you like he's gay." "Honey, we have the house to ourselves for maybe two hours." "Is this really how you want to spend it?" "You're right." "You're right." "We should relax." "[whispers] Yes." "Uh, Rick, Denise, we're back on!" "Is there a problem?" "No." "No, just a little..." "ahem...misunderstanding." "We're gonna pick up where we left off." "Rick, you're doing me now, and, uh, by-- by "doing me," I mean..." "Yes, I know." "My wife and I both know what you mean." "Oh." "Your wife." "Yeah." "So, you guys, y-you're married and you work together." "Yes." "Oh, that's good." "Yeah." "Actually, it's a-- it's a funny story." "We met at this training seminar-- Rick, we're on the clock." "Let's go, buddy." "Okay?" "Great." "[sighs]" "Ohhh." "Oh, yeah." "Ohh..." "Ohh..." "Ow!" "Ow!" "Ow!" "Ow!" "Ow!" "Ow!" "Ow!" "Ow!" "[Claudia] What the..." "Lily!" "What the hell are you doin' back here?" "!" "I sprained my ankle at the dance." "Are you okay?" "I don't know." "Ouch!" "She can barely walk." "Oh, that's a shame, Lily, 'cause I know how much you were looking forward to" "Oh, yeah!" "That's the stuff, Rick." "Right there, man." "Brad, get her foot up." "[grunts]" "Oww!" "Oh, yeah!" "Mmm..." "Mmm..." "I'm sorry." "Could you excuse us for just one minute?" "No problem." "Okay, so let's clock out at 8:11." "Yeah, we don't work that way." "Okay, Brad, help me haul her in the kitchen." "Wait!" "No!" "I'm fine in the chair." "We just need you in there for 41 minutes," "Oh, boy!" "that's all." "Actually, it's, uh, 38." "Ow!" "Move!" "Move!" "Move!" "Move!" "Come on!" "Ow!" "Ow!" "Ow!" "All right." "Ow!" "Okay." "All right." "Raise it." "Raise it." "Raise it." "Heat it." "Ice it." "One of those, but I know you have to raise it." "Wait, wait, wait." "Hey, maybe those massage people know something about physical therapy." "No." "No, no." "No." "They don't. it says so on their card." "I'm sorry, Brad." "I ruined your whole night." "No." "Hey, I'm sorry." "I know how important tonight was to you." "Yeah." "Things happen, though." "I'll be fine." "Can I--Can I do anything, or..." "No." "I'll be okay." "I'll see you tomorrow." "All right." "Okay?" "Get better." "I will." "[Sean] Whoa!" "Hey!" "How 'bout some privacy, pal?" "!" "Naked dad." "Naked dad." "[telephone rings]" "Could somebody get my phone?" "!" "[ring]" "Dammit!" "[ring] [ring]" "Sorry." "Sorry." "[sighs] [ring] Hey..." "I thought you sprained your right ankle." "Yeah, I--I did." "You're limping with your left." "You limp on you good ankle, don't you?" "Lily... what's goin' on?" "Look, I didn't sprain my ankle." "Okay?" "Please don't tell Brad." "Good night." "But, wait!" "You were so excited about this dance!" "Why would you do that?" "I had no other choice!" "Okay?" "I had to get him out of there." "[vibrating] Why?" "He had the perfect tux, the perfect haircut, and the perfect shoes." "But there was one thing I couldn't plan for." "The rhythm of the night." "** [dreamy dance music] This is so nice." "I know." "Decoration committee did a great job." "I mean, it really is a Winter Wonderland." "Yeah." "** [Bust A move] Oh, Lily, it's my jam!" "Come on!" "Let's go!" "Let's go!" "Say uh!" "Say ho!" "** [rap]" "Umhh!" "Say umhh!" "Say umhh, ummhh, ummhh!" "Umhh!" "Umhh!" "Okay, Brad." "Why don't we slow it down a little bit?" "No." "Well, why?" "I could just hold you all night." "Lily, this is my song!" "I can't do the Running Man if you don't let go!" "We should talk." "We don't get to talk anymore." "Let's go do it in the science wing." "Maybe later." "Come on." "* Come sit next to me, you fine fella *" "* You run over there without a second to lose *" "* And what comes next, hey, bust a move *" "* You want it *" "* You got it *" "* You want it, baby, you got it *" "* Just bust a move *" "* You want it *" "* You got it *" "* You want it *" "* Baby, you got it *" "* In the city, ladies look pretty * Aaahh!" "* Guys tell jokes so they can seem witty *" "* Tell a funny joke * Ohh!" "Ooh!" "Ow!" "Ow!" "My ankle!" "Ow!" "You okay?" "Ow!" "Uh-huh." "Ohhhh!" "Ohh!" "Ohh!" "You all right?" "Uh-uh." "Soo, hey!" "Ohhh!" "** [Bust a Move]" "Lily, that was not cool." "Well, people were staring at him!" "Honey, people stare at your dad when he dances all the time." "I just try to go with it." "People stare at me 'cause I got all the moves." "Yes, honey, you're really funky." "I'm just tryin' to make a point." "Mom, you have no idea." "Brad makes Dad look like John Travolta." "Hey, I have an excellent sense of rhythm." "Okay." "You know what?" "Not only am I not getting massaged now, but you are undoing the little massage I've had." "You're right." "And don't think you're off the hook about this, young lady." "We're gonna talk to you about this in, oh, 26 minutes." "Okay." "So..." "where were we?" "We just finished the legs, and we're movin' up to the buttocks." "Whoa!" "Denise, you and me." "[sighing] Oh, yeah." "Mmm..." "Mmm, yeah." "Yeah!" "Ohh..." "Mmm...mmm..." "Mmm..." "Hey, Dad!" "Aaahh!" "Whoa!" "Whoa!" "Whoa!" "Whoa!" "What..." "Just go about your business." "We're not even here." "You are here!" "What happened to the boys?" "Is that paint?" "Don't worry about it." "They--They" "We're gonna change clothes and go to a film." "Get some snacks." "Hey, what the hell happened, Ed?" "They got paint on 'em." "Yeah, we can see that." "How?" "It had to be done." "Do it, and I will beat the crap outta you." "I'm not doin' anything." "Oops." "Gravity did that." "Thanks!" "[loud slurping]" "Come on, let's go." "What did we-- Let's go!" "Okay." "Oh." "Fire at will." "Wait." "Aren't we supposed to, li" "Hey!" "Ahh!" "Isn't Henry too young for paintball?" "Yeah, but we got him a hat so he can meet the height requirement." "Eddie, we asked you to take care of them!" "I took care of them." "I took good care of them." "** [action movie]" "Ohh!" "Uhh!" "[whimpers]" "Uhh!" "Ohh!" "If it weren't for me, they'd be, uh" "What, covered in paint?" "Hey, these guys have been at each other's throats." "I provided them with a fun way to vent their rage." "It's a classic use of therapeutic violence." "He laughed when you fell down and I shot you right in the butt." "Yeah." "How about when that manager guy tried to take my gun away?" "Bad move." "Henry shot him right in the mouth." "That was a very nice moment." "Yeah." "Sorry I missed it." "Jimmy, Henry, get upstairs and get cleaned up." "[Henry] You can have the first bath." "No, that's okay." "Hey, you know, we haven't taken a bath together since we were kids." "No." "Really." "That's okay." "No way!" "Really?" "That is so cool!" "What--[laughs]" "You've gotta be kidding me." "There's no way that-- [gasps]" "Yeah, it--Yeah, my ankle's doing much better." "Thank you for checking on it." "Okay, bye." "Lily?" "Hi, Brad." "Your ankle?" "Yeah, it's..." "it's comin' along." "But a half hour ago, you couldn't walk." "Well, I stayed off it." "Were you lying to me?" "Maybe a little." "But I did it for you!" "What?" "!" "Why?" "!" "Well...it's your dancing!" "[chuckles]" "Ex--Excuse me?" "My..." "[chuckles] My dancing?" "It--It's very unconventional and therefore..." "embarrassing." "R--Really!" "So, if--if you want to see embarrassing, maybe you should take a look in the dance mirror, honey!" "I am on the dance squad!" "Oh, hey, hey, hey!" "What is with all the yelling?" "You guys okay?" "No, we're not okay." "Apparently, my girlfriend thinks I'm an embarrassment." "I'm leaving." "No, no, no." "Brad, don't go home." "[sweetly] Don't go home." "You know what?" "I'm not goin' home." "No." "I'm gonna go back to the diz-ance." "'Cause you know what?" "I don't care if you're embarrassed because believe you me, there are plenty of women who won't be." "Can't touch this." "[door closes]" "I just didn't want people laughing at him." "Lily." "You just didn't want people to laugh at you." "Well, maybe." "But...[sighs]" "I just..." "[Sean] Lily, look." "You can dress Brad up." "You can make him try and act a certain way, but at the end of the day, Brad is Brad." "Yes, an incredibly sweet, cute guy who's mildly socially retarded." "Mom, if you'd seen him tonight, you wouldn't be saying "mildly."" "Still." "There is not a girl in that gym with a boyfriend who tries half as hard as Brad." "I know, but tonight was, like-- No." "Tonight was important to him, too." "What did he get?" "He got a girlfriend who abandoned him the second that he busted a move." "You're right." "I'll go get him." "Good." "[sighs] It's just sometimes I feel like" "Tell us tomorrow, Okay?" "Eddie, that's not for you." "You weren't using them." "Well, get up!" "Sean, can this wait?" "No!" "I'm sorry." "It's 8:30." "Oh." "How much would it cost for another hour?" "$220." "Good-bye." "Good night." "Wow!" "I feel like a new man." "Sean, don't be stingy with the tip." "Baby, I'm sorry tonight was such a bust." "Yeah." "Me, too." "I guess we just have to accept we can't do stuff like that till all the kids have moved out of the house." "Yeah, just eight more years." "But the good news is we'll still be young." "True." "Yet another advantage of getting pregnant in high school." "Hmm." "You know, I think I have an idea on how we can salvage tonight." "[chuckling] Oh, you do?" "Yeah." "I could give you a massage." "Yeah, you could." "Yeah." "I've noticed you've been carrying a lot of tension... particularly in your boobie area." "[chuckles] Yes." "You are very perceptive." "Oh, and then you can massage me." "Mmm." "I bet I can guess where your tension is." "[chuckles] That's right." "[chuckles] ** [pop, lyrics indistinct]" "Don't hurt me, please." "Help me, please." "[no dialog audible]" "** [Bust A Move]" "* This here's a jam for all the fellas *" "* Tryin' to do what those ladies tell us *" "* Get shot down 'cause you're overzealous *" "* Play hard to get, females get jealous *" "* Okay, smarty, go to a party *" "* Girls are scantily clad and showin' body *" "* A chick walks by, you wish you could sex her *" "* But you're standin' on the wall *" "* Like you was Poindexter *" "* Next day's function-- high-class luncheon *" "* Food they're servin', you're stone-cold munching' *" "* Music comes on, people start to dance *" "* But then you ate so much, you nearly split your pants *" "* A girl starts walkin', guys start gawking' *" "* Sits down next to you and starts talkin' *" "* Says she wanna dance 'cause she likes to groove *" "* So come on, fatso, and just bust a move *" "* Just bust a move *" "Closed-Captioned By J.R. Media Services, Inc." "Burbank, CA"