"¶ One fine day with a woof and a purr ¶" "¶ a baby was born and it caused a little stir ¶" "¶ no blue bug and no three-eyed frog ¶" "¶ just a feline, canine, little catdog ¶" "¶ catdog... catdog... ¶" "¶ alone in the world was a little catdog ¶" "¶ out on the road or back in town ¶" "¶ all kind of critters putting catdog down ¶" "¶ got to rise above it, got to try to get along ¶" "¶ got to walk together, got to sing this song ¶" "¶ catdog... catdog... ¶" "¶ alone in the world was a little catdog ¶" "¶ catdog... catdog... ¶" "¶ alone in the world was a little catdog. ¶ [captioning sponsored by the U.S. department of education and nickelodeon]" "Cat..." "Could you pass me one of my delicious and nutritious farburg burger bones, please?" "Mmm..." "No, you're all out." "Out?" "They're all gone?" "No more?" "Burger bone, burger, burger, burger bone!" "( Glass breaks, cat yowls )" "Burger bone!" "Burger, burger bone..." "Cat:" "Ow!" "Ooh!" "Burger bone, burger bone..." "Burger, burger bone." "( Cans clattering )" "( Cat yowls )" "Sorry, bowser." "No more farburg burger bones will be sold here in nearburg." "Bu-bu-but why?" "Farburg's making all the money and nearburg isn't." "From now on, anything you buy in nearburg must be made in nearburg." "You get caught with one of these..." "Busted." "( Gasps )" "But that's not fair." "Get a hold of yourself, dog." "They're just stupid burger bones." "No, they're not!" "They're farburg burger bones!" "The finest, bestest, tastiestest burger bones ever invented in the world." "( Crowd chanting )" "We want our bones, we want our bones!" "We want our bones, we want our bones!" "We want our bones... don't ban the bone!" "Free the burger bones!" "See, cat." "Every dog in town loves burger bones." "Hmm." "Dog ( Nasally ):" "Cat, what are we doing on a lonely road in the middle of the night with a truck full of farburg burger bones?" "Cat:" "Like i told you before we buy farburg burger bones in farburg sneak then into nearburg and sell them to desperate dogs at top dollar." "But what if somebody catches us out here?" "( Siren walls )" "Act normal." "Hi." "Can i help you, officer-type person with big, shiny badge?" "Nice man, hello." "Are you making fun of the way i talk?" "No, sir." "What's in the truck, furball?" "Well, there's certainly no farburg burger bones." "That's for sure." "( Laughs nervously )" "Well then, let's just take a little look-see, shall we?" "Oh, he's going to arrest us." "Relax, cat's got the situation in control." "( Gasps )" "P.U., this smells like..." "Exactly!" "We're on our way to a..." "A fertilizer festival." "Well, get going." "Quickly." "Out, out, out." "( Coughs )" "( Cat chortles )" "Dog, this is the beginning of a beautiful business." "How long till we get to the fertilizer festival?" "You and your surprises." "( Owl hoots )" "Man:" "What's the password?" "Uh... catdog sent me." "Welcome to the bonehouse." "( Soft chatter )" "( Chanteuse singing )" "¶ I was just a dog ¶" "¶ and so was he ¶" "¶ so why wouldn't the dog catcher just let us be?" "¶" "¶ do you need a license?" "¶" "¶ a license for love?" "¶ one farburg burger bone." "Five big ones." "Five bucks-- i used to pay a buck for a whole box." "Hey, times have changed, my furry friend." "Dog, you're supposed to be working, not eating." "Sorry, cat." "( Gulps )" "You can't eat just one." "( Snoring )" "( Banging )" "Hey, catbutt sent us." "Sorry, that's not the password." "How's that for a password?" "( Snickers )" "Welcome to the bonehouse." "Let's see, greasers, greasers, greasers?" "No, I'm sorry i, i don't seem to find your name here." "No reservation, no table." "( Angry yipping )" "Cliff:" "Meal's over." "( Big crash )" "I found a table." "Three burger bones, and make it snappy." "Ten bucks a bone?" "Take it, or don't eat it." "( Winslow laughs snidely )" "( Jingles a coin )" "Say, you got a sweet operation here, big cat." "Out of my way, I'm busy." "But you're going to need some muscle around here." "Just cut me in for 50% and I'll keep away the riffraff." "Take a hike, blue boy." "Wh-wh-wh..." "You're going to live to regret that, pussycat." "( Phone ringing )" "( Prisoner screaming )" "Stool pigeon hot-line." "You squeal, we deal." "Yeah, i know a cat who's doing some dirty business." "( Playing ragtime rock... )" "Tomorrow we raise the price again." "20 bucks a bone." "( Dog slurps )" "Hey, bone-vacuum, leave some for the customers." "You know, the paying customers." "We got plenty." "( Sirens wailing )" "Catdog sent me." "Raid." "( Customers scream )" "You know the drill!" "( Banging )" "Ow." "( Crashing )" "( Cat clears throat )" "The nearburg poetry club will now come to order." "Roses are red, violets are purple." "Sugar is sweet, and so is maple syrple." "( Polite applause )" "I'll get you one day, punk." "Good luck, copper." "And this time i am making fun" "( mimicking cop ):" "Of the way you talk." "( Audience roars with laughter )" "Somebody squealed... ( Munching )" "And i smell a blue rodent." "Sunshine, go get a bag of cement." "( Gurgling ):" "You're going to pay for this, cat!" "( All shouting for bones )" "Be right back, fellows." "With some more of those super-duper delicious burger bones." "You know, from farburg." "( Munching and slurping )" "What the heck are you doing?" "( Deep belch )" "Just having a little snacky-poo-poo." "( Gasping )" "I've got a packed club out there and you just ate all our merchandise!" "All you care about is making money." "You're materialistical." "All you care about is making a pig out of yourself!" "I only eat when I'm hungry." "Yeah, 24 hours a day." "Do not." "You do too." "Do not." "You do too." "( Yelling at each other... )" "What's the matter with you?" "Where are my farburg burger bones?" "Dag nabbit." "( Crowd chants )" "We want our bones!" "Um, a new shipment is coming soon." "We want our bones, we want our bones!" "A new place in town just opened up." "They got burger bones by the barrel-full-- cheap." "Let's blow this pop stand." "Man:" "Hey, scram." "( Barking and yapping )" "Welcome to winslow's place." "Step right in, folks." "Plenty of room." "Farburg burger bones at a buck a bone." "Keep coming." "Step right up." "What do you think you're doing?" "I'm going to get some more burger bones." "Oh, really?" "( Sirens wailing )" "Hey, officer, arrest that dirty rat." "He's selling farburg burger bones!" "I don't see a thing." "Winchester:" "Oh, and, uh, cat..." "Meet the bouncers." "( Muttering madly )" "( Grumbling )" "Cat:" "Hey, now, now, now... ( Cat and dog shouting )" "( Wheezing and panting )" "Welcome to the nearburg library's annual book sale and pie-eating contest." "Contestants, take your seats." "Hi-ho diggity, cat." "I hope we win." "Oh, piece of cake, buddy boy." "You just got to scarf down a couple dozen of those pecan pies and that gorgeous, super-deluxe wide-screen TV will be all mine-- ours." "( Panting )" "Just smell that aroma, dog." "Aromatic, isn't it?" "You hungry, boy, huh, huh?" "You're a lean, mean, eating machine." "On your marks get set..." "Bongo!" "...go." "It appears we have a winner." "I can't wait to hook this baby up!" "( Whines, burps )" "I don't feel so good, cat." "Huh?" "Oh, you will once you feast your eyes on those 1,046 lines of resolution." "Colors?" "Of course it's color." "Fabulous, vibrant, living color!" "Dog?" "Cat?" "Help me." "Aha..." "Mmm..." "No fever." "( Moaning )" "No blockage." "( Moaning )" "Reflex is good." "Had he eaten any strange food lately?" "Has he..." "Well, uh, well, let's see:" "Garbage, uh, old tires, uh, garbage rotten, fetid, putrid meat and garbage." "I had some pecan pie." "Leaping lumbago!" "Pooches can't eat pecans." "It gives them pecanitis!" "( Gasps )" "Pecanitis?" "!" "Uh-huh." "But don't worry." "It's not dangerous." "Just weird." "Affects all dogs differently." "No treatment for it." "Just got to wait till it goes away." "Well, that's perfect." "Did you hear that, dog?" "Everything's going to be just fine." "Oh, says you." "You haven't seen my bill." "( Gasps )" "We can't pay this!" "That, uh, your wide-screen TV?" "Thanks, dog." "You just cost me a brand-new TV." "You just had to get pecanitis." "( Gasps )" "Cat, cat!" "My head!" "It's sprouting!" "Yeah, yeah, fine." "don't be such a baby." "You heard doc rancid." "Pecanitis isn't serious." "But..." "But what if someone sees me?" "They will laugh." "Nobody's going to laugh." "( Brakes screech )" "( Everyone laughing )" "Hey, let's go laugh." "( Brakes screech )" "( Everyone continues laughing... )" "Look, mommy." "Yeah, it's one of Santa's reindeer." "( Laughter continues )" "( Shouting incoherently )" "I'm never, ever showing my head in public again." "( Pecking... )" "And you..." "Get away from me, get away from me!" "Oh, look at this lousy TV." "( Moaning... )" "What, whoa, whoa, wait a minute, dog." "Hold still." "Say..." "That's a much better picture." "Just stay right there and don't move." "I will not be an antenna for your TV." "Well, excuse me, Mr. sensitive." "( Yowling, then crashing )" "( Chain saw buzzing )" "Dog, what... what are you doing?" "( Wailing )" "How do i look, cat?" "Um... very nice." "Completely normal." "Uh-huh." "You know what?" "Let's just get rid of this nasty little chain saw, shall we?" "( Groaning... )" "( Screams )" "It's back!" "Why is this happening?" "I didn't even tell a lie." "( Yelping, then crashing )" "I can't let anyone see me like this." "Oh, no, don't look at me!" "Oh, I'm a forest head!" "Cat:" "Easy!" "( Laughing )" "I'm a tree noggin." "Help me, cat." "Oh, don't laugh at me." "don't laugh at me while i have a condition." "Sorry, dog." "What's so funny, cat?" "What's all the ruckus?" "Nothing, just being the life of the party." "Oh, hey, nice hairdo, dog." "Who's your hairdresser, Paul bunyan?" "Paul bunyan!" "( Laughs )" "That's a good one." "Yeah, i know." "Hey, dog, how about a trim?" "I need the firewood." "He needs the firewood!" "He needs the..." "Whoa, you're killing me." "I will not stand for this humiliation." "( Chuckles )" "Oh, relax, dog." "We're not laughing at you." "We're..." "We're laughing with you." "No, you're not, because I'm not laughing!" "( Laughing )" "Hey, cat, this is too good." "You ought to sell tickets." "Tickets, yeah, right, i should." "Say... hmm." ""Live on stage." "Come see the amazing, tree-headed dog."" "Oh, i got to check that out." "( Laughs )" "Winslow:" "Get them while we got them, folks." "Only a couple of seats left." "Step right up." "Keep coming." "Time to shake that money tree, doggy boy." "I won't do it." "I'm not going out there." "don't be ridiculous." "And a little piece of the action for myself." "( Chuckles ) don't you want that beautiful, giant new TV?" "( Moaning )" "Is a new TV worth more to you than my feelings?" "( Moaning )" "It's got 500 channels, dog." "( Yelling )" "Five minutes, nutheads." "Let's go, dog." "Your public awaits." "No, it can't be." "The pecanitis is going away." "Hi-ho diggity!" "No-ho diggity!" "How dare you get better at a time like this?" "!" "A packed house is waiting for a horticultural oddity." "They'll riot!" "Or worse-- they'll demand a refund!" "Ooh, pecan pie." "( Snoring )" "Cat, what are you...?" "Just eat, dog." "Eat." "Eat like the wind!" "Come on, baby." "Come on." "Mutate, will you?" "Just grow." "Just... ( Wails )" "It's show time, gents." "What's the entertainment stall?" "I paid to see freaks." "I want to see freaks and lots of them." "Let's see the tree-headed pooch." "We want a show, we want a show." "All right, all right." "Pipe down, you mooks." "What you're about to see is going to thrill and amaze you not to mention turn a few stomachs." "I give you the amazing tree-headed dog." "( Booing, complaining )" "I want my money back." "That freak's a totally normal freak." "( Booing, hissing )" "Come on, cat." "( Moaning )" "( Audience grows silent )" "Whoa, even better." "Make that the amazing tree-headed cat!" "( Laughing... )" "It's okay, cat." "They're not laughing with you." "They're laughing at you." "Man:" "Next on the gardening channel clip those trees and shrubs into cute critters and such." "Boy, this new wide-screen TV is nifty-keen, huh, cat?" "Yeah." "Terrific." "Just terrific." "Winslow:" "Hey, cat, you're really branching out!" "¶ One fine day with a woof and a purr ¶" "¶ a baby was born and it caused a little stir ¶" "¶ no blue bug and no three-eyed frog ¶" "¶ just a feline, canine ¶" "¶ little catdog ¶" "¶ catdog... catdog... ¶" "¶ alone in the world was a little catdog ¶" "¶ out on the road or back in town ¶" "¶ all kind of critters putting catdog down ¶" "¶ got to rise above it, got to try to get along ¶" "¶ got to walk together, got to sing this song ¶" "¶ catdog... catdog... ¶" "¶ alone in the world was a little catdog... ¶ [captioning sponsored by the U.S. department of education and nickelodeon ]" "¶ Alone in the world was a little catdog. ¶ [captioned by the caption center wgbh educational foundation]"