"This is just a get-to- know-you dinner." "All right." "And if it goes well, then maybe one day down the road" "I will feel comfortable enough to explore my physical boundaries with you." "Good night, Val." "Good night, Todd." " Yeah, where you at?" " [ Holly ]:" "I'm in Princeton." "I'm visiting Henry." "Don't you see, Holly, that when things get not perfect, you start looking for other guys." "With me, it was Vince." "With Ben, it was Vince." "Do you see a pattern?" "The pattern is Vince." "If I didn't date you and break up with you and then date you and break up with you," "I would so date you again." "That's my girlfriend." "What's her name?" "Her name's Holly, and that's not sick." "I love you, Holly." " Okay, that has got to stop." " Why?" "The teeth, the mouth, the happiness " "You know, either share what you're on, or get the hell out." "Oh, God." "Did you see the cherry blossoms starting to spring?" "Oh, I know." "And did you see how gorgeous and green Central Park turned?" "I know!" "Oh!" " I have so much to tell you." " I couldn't wait to see you." " Me too." "You go first." "No, you go." "Okay, um, my date with Todd last night was so incredible." "You had sex with the plumber, and you come in here talking about frickin' cherry blossoms?" "No, I did not have sex with Todd, and it turned out to be one of the best dates I've ever had." "I'm befuddled." "Now, I'm not saying that I'm in love with Todd or anything, but it's the first date that I've had in a long time where I did not think about Rick once." "Oh, my God." "Good for you." "Now on to me." "You know how I used to always sabotage my relationships because I was afraid they wouldn't be perfect?" "Well, after visiting Henry in Princeton," "I realized that mature and healthy relationships aren't perfect." "I've really grown up." "Hot dog!" "You know how whenever Vince and I would fight," "I would run away?" "Well, that's old Holly." "New Holly hangs in there." "Why?" "Because that's what you do when you love somebody, and I love Vince." "I love Vince!" "I love Vince!" "I hate Holly!" "I hate Holly!" "I hate Holly!" "I can't believe she and Henry..." "I mean, if she was gonna sleep with anyone, in the line of succession, it should have been me, you, and then Henry." "You know, you're doing the right thing by leaving town, man." "And don't worry." "I'm gonna take really good care of your bedroom." "You don't mind if I feng shui it up a little bit, do you?" "Do whatever you want." "I may never come back from Florida." "Oh." "In that case, I ordered a couple of sconces from Europe." "Yeah, whatever." "A little gay." "My buddy in Boca needs a bartender for the summer." "But I just may stay down there forever." "I could chill with some geezers." "How good do my pants look up here?" "[ cell phone rings ]" "Are you sure you don't want to talk to her, man?" "Damn, it's her again." "Like I need to hear that she's back with Henry." "I never want to talk to her again." "I never want to hear that girl's name ever again." "Do you hear me?" "Never." "Never." "Vince, if you could call me back when you get this message, that'd be great." "I just have something to tell you." "Thanks." "[ mouths words ] I love you." "Oh, my God." "So how much do you love the new Holly?" "Yeah, well, almost as much as I love the new Val." "Oh, look at me staring at this paper open to the wedding announcement page." "Three months ago, this would have sent me right into the arms of Jose Cuervo." "But now I can honestly be happy for all these people." "Karen and Peter, congratulations." "Vanessa and David, all the best." "Ah!" "Marco and Steve -- fabulous!" "Rick and Julie, all the " "Rick and Julie?" "Hey, that's weird." "They have the same names as your ex and his ex." "Oh, and the same faces." "Rick and Julie are getting married tomorrow?" "Val, look, um, Fantasia's playing Golda in "Fiddler on the Roof."" "I can't believe they're getting married." "Look, look, it's 30% off at Bed, Bath  Beyond." "Ooh, we can get a really nice wedding gift for..." "Marco and Steve." "âª What I like about you âª âª You really know how to dance âª âª When you go up, down, jump around âª âª Talk about true romance âª" "âª Yeah âª âª Keep on whispering in my ear âª âª Tell me all the things that I wanna hear âª âª 'Cause it's true âª âª What I like âª" "âª That's what I like about you âª âª What I like âª âª That's what I like about you âª âª What I like about you âª" "âª That's what I like about you âª âª What I like about you âª âª That's what I like about you âª âª What I like about you âª" "âª That's what I like about you âª âª What I like about you âª âª That's what I like about âª âª Hey âª" "âª Uh-huh âª âª Uh-huh âª âª That's what I like about you âª" "Oh, my God." "I cannot believe that Rick and Julie are getting married." "This is going to kill her." "Oh, trust me, she's fine." "She's come such a long way " "Oh, my God!" "She's got a knife!" "Oh, God!" "Get it out of her hand!" "Guys, will you stop it?" "I'm just clearing the table." "I'm fine." "Really." "I am okay with Rick and Julie getting married." "Val, I mean, come on, this has to be really hard for you." "No." "I am totally chill, mentally harmonious, en rapport, okey-dokey!" "More like okey-smokey." "And you know what?" "I don't want this fun day to end, okay?" "So we are all gonna go out tonight." "Girls night out." "We'll get all gussied up, and we'll celebrate Rick and Julie's nuptials," "Holly's new love, Lauren's new, uh..." "My rash cleared up." "Yeah!" "Sweet!" "Okay, so everything's on me. 8:00." "Okay, I know what she needs." "Yeah." "There's Kahlua in the maple syrup bottle next to the vodka vinegar." "You're not gonna believe this." "You know how I was supposed to go to Europe with my mom?" "Yes." "First class all the way, balloon trips through Tuscany, you're rich, blah, blah, blah." "Yeah, well, my mom bailed." "She threw her back out having sex with a 30-year-old." "Now I have this extra ticket and Holly can't take a month off work." "[ Both ]:" "I can." "You?" "Well, how hard is it to take off from a bakery?" "Hello." "Where do I work?" "I'm more fun." "I'm prettier." "I'll make her laugh." "Well, I'll have sex with her." "So will I!" "Okay, you each bring different things to the party." "You're both worthy traveling companions." "I'll think about it, and I'll get back to you in 24 hours?" "Fair enough." "That's totally fair." "This is a little something for pretty ladies." "And this just keeps going and going and going." "[ dance music playing ]" "I can't believe that Vince hasn't called me back." "Mm." "Hey, hey." "Put that phone down." "Come on, we are toasting Rick and Julie." "Yeah, we've been toasting them for three pitchers." "Well, they're a heck of a couple." "Okay, to Rick and Julie." "[ All ]:" "To Rick and Julie." "She's totally suicidal." "She's smashed." "You know what?" "I love you guys so much." "Ring, for God's sakes, ring!" "To rings!" "Telephone rings, not engagement rings." "Oh..." "[ sobbing ] [ laughing ]" "Ah ha ha!" "Oh, God, it feels so good to laugh." "I love laughing." "I do." "Mm." "I adore drinking." "Don't you?" "But now I have to tinkle." "I love tinkling, too." "Shh, shh." "Okay." "Life is so good." "Ah!" "[ sobbing ]" "Poor Val." "I hope that she's gonna be okay." "Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!" "What are you doing, traveling companion?" "You know, that chicken skin will kill you." "Let me get that for you, baby girl." "You know, when we travel around Europe," "I will remove all the icky parts of the food for you." "Gary got me a purse." "Watch." "I can't believe that he hasn't called me back." "I hate him!" "There he is." "[ gasps ] I love him!" "Damn, man!" "Holly's here." "It's not enough she left me 30 messages?" "Now I gotta hear in person how she's back with Henry?" "You know what?" "We should go." "You don't want to end up getting drunk, suddenly find her adorable again, end up not leaving." "I'll be back on the couch." "I mean, I will miss you." "Ooh, I hate her so much." "And you know what?" "I'm gonna tell her before she has a chance to tell me about her and Henry and how they're all in each other's " "Whoa, whoa, whoa, dude." "Now hold on." "Now, if you tell Holly that you hate her, she's gonna ask you why." "Then you're gonna have to tell her that you followed her all the way to Princeton like that "Felicity" chick." "And that you found out Holly's in love with her old boyfriend." "Ha ha." "Doesn't feel so good, does it?" "Well, it doesn't." "You know what, man?" "You're right." "I gotta act like there's nothing wrong and everything's -- hey." "Hey, Holly." "Hi." "Hold up." "Is that Lauren with Tina?" "I know she is not skinning her chicken wing." "Ah, no." "[ dance music playing ]" "Hey." "So, um, did you get my messages?" "Oh, yeah." "Sorry, I've just been so busy packing." "Packing?" "For what?" "I'm going to Florida tomorrow." "I'm gonna spend the summer down there bartending for a buddy." "What?" "Wait, you're going on a trip tomorrow, and you weren't even gonna tell me?" "Yeah." "A lot of people go on trips and don't tell other people about them." "Okay, what is that supposed to mean?" "Nothing." "Just means I'm going." "Goodbye." "Have a great summer." "Wait, wait." "Okay, what is your problem?" "Problem?" "I don't have a problem." "In fact, I'm getting rid of my problem." "Oh, okay, so now I'm your problem?" "Well, you gotta admit, we do drive each other kinda nuts." "I mean, come on." "Every time we're together," " we end up in a fight." " No, we don't." "Yes, we do." "One is in the making right now." "And guess what?" "I'm sick of it." "Okay, well, if you would just shut up and let me talk," " then we wouldn't fight." " It's too late." "We're fighting." "Yeah, that's 'cause you keep interrupting." "That's what fighting is!" "Well, stop it." "I have something to tell you." "Why do you think I've been calling you all day?" "I don't care what you want." "I'm gonna tell you what I want." "I want to go to Florida, forget about this entire year, and finally have some fun again." "[ Ricki ]:" "Vince?" "Not now." "We're in the middle of not fighting." "We're on our way to the Bubble Lounge " "Not now." "See this, Holly?" "See what's happening here?" "Not fun." "Oh, really?" "'Cause I'm having a ball!" " Oh, good!" " Good!" "You know what, Vince?" "I hope you go to Florida, and I hope you stay there for the rest of your life!" "Fine!" "You know what?" "I have nothing else to say to you!" "Except don't try to call me, because you know what?" "I have you programmed in my cell phone, and if you call, I'll see it's you, and then I won't pick up." "Take a look at what you're missing." "Bye!" "âª Ah, everybody âª âª Get on the floor âª âª Let's dance âª" "Hey, T." "You know, it's all about chick-on-chick in Europe." "Hey, where's Val?" "I really need to talk to Val." "Yeah, I don't know." "Come to think of it, she never came back from the bathroom." "What?" "What do you mean, she never came back?" "You were supposed to watch her." "Oh, relax." "She's fine." "The girl's been dumped like a hundred times this year." "She's numb to it." "âª If you've had enough, don't put up with his stuff âª âª Don't you do it âª" "See?" "âª If you've had your fill âª âª Get the check, pay the bill âª âª You can do it âª" "Val, I know what you're going through." " I just had a fight with Vince." "âª Tell him to just get out âª" "I did!" "âª Nothing left to talk about âª" "Got that right." "âª Pack his raincoat, show him out âª" " I hate him." "âª Look him in the eye and simply shout âª" "I never want to see him again!" "âª Enough is enough is enough âª âª I can't go on no more, no more, no more, no âª âª Enough is enough is enough âª" "âª I want him out âª âª I want him out that door now âª" "So I'm starting to think maybe I dodged a bullet." "Man!" "Them girls are bitter." "Maybe that's because they don't have your beauty." "You know, I never noticed the bunch of blue in your eyes." "All right, that's playing dirty." "You should know, chicken peeler." "âª Enough is enough is enough âª âª Is enough is enough âª âª Is enough is enough is enough âª âª Is enough âª" "Thank you!" "That felt so good!" "Tell me about it." "Okay, from now on, whenever we're feeling sad, we'll just break it down old school -- sing a little disco and remind ourselves that no man is ever gonna make us feel bad." "You're right." "Let's make that pact right now, okay?" "No more Rick." "No more Vince." "Up high." "Testify." "I love him!" "How do I get him back?" "Honey, I can't think without cake." "Oh, and can I just say?" "I am so flattered that you're coming to me for advice." "Yeah, well, I can't go to Val." "We swore to each other no more Vince and Rick." "If I go to her, she'll think I'm weak." "Hey." "I really need to see you." "I know it's kind of late, but... if you could just meet with me." "Great." "Okay." "Thanks." "I'll see you then." "And now I'll never get to tell him how I feel, because he's going to Florida for the whole summer." "Oh, wow." "And it is so humid this time of year." "Lauren." "Okay, okay, you know what?" "I can do this, damn it, 'cause I am here for you." "Tell me what the problem is." "Vince!" "I told you." "Vince is my problem." "Is he the black one?" "I'm kidding." "Don't you see?" "I'm using humor to lighten up a painful situation." "I am finally ready for a real relationship with him, and now he's running away." "Honey, are you gonna let a man running away stop you from chasing him?" "Haven't you ever heard of a tranquilizer gun?" "No, no, no, no, no, no, no." "Come back." "Okay, okay." "Do you really want to know why he's running away?" "Yes!" "He's protecting himself." "Holly, you have loved the boy and hated him 80 times just in the last week." "He doesn't want to risk getting hurt again." "You really don't think he hates me?" "Honey, no man gets that angry unless he's in love with you." "Or when we got busted by his wife." "Oh, my God." "Well, he must really love me, because he got so angry." "Yes." "He loves you, and you love him." "Oh, my God!" "Okay, well," "I gotta go tell him before he leaves." " You're just gonna go tell him you love him?" " Yes!" "No?" "Look, he has to know that this time is different, okay?" "That you're not just jerking him around again." "You're right." "Okay." "I have to do something really convincing." "Something really big and romantic!" "What am I gonna do?" "Okay." "You are gonna need a pair of lace panties, maracas, and a sleeve of saltines." "I am so becoming a therapist!" "Okay, Val, you're still not answering your phone, so I'm letting myself in." "You don't need to bark like a guard dog." "Hey, hey, hey." "Why are you going to Tina's door with that?" "That is my ticket to Europe." "Hey, give me that!" "Give it here!" "Give " "A poem?" ""Belgium" does not rhyme with "threesome."" ""Belgium" does rhyme with "threesome." All depends on how you say it." "Give me -- give me " "Hey, guys, what's going on?" "Oh, what's this?" "[ Both ]:" "It's from me!" " Liar!" "Oh, guys, about the trip." "My mom's all better, so I can't take either one of you." " What?" " Is she kidding?" "Look, she's not even taking me." "She's taking her stupid boyfriend." "Oh, great." "Now I gotta reconfigure this so they don't notice that I ate two of the biscotti." "It doesn't mean that we can't still hang out." "Oh, yeah, I believe it does." "You want to go to the movies?" "Maybe go bowling or something?" "[ door slams ]" "I hate you, mother!" "[ knock on door ]" "[ Lauren ]:" "Val?" "Val?" "Oh..." "Holy crap!" "What the hell happened to you?" "Well..." "I found out that I have no tolerance for tequila, vodka, and beer shakes." "I was calling you all night." "Why didn't you pick up?" "I couldn't hear you over Charo and all the other screaming people." "You were in hell?" "Atlantic City." "Now don't tell Holly, okay?" "Because I promised her that I wouldn't let Rick upset me, but I couldn't help it." "Oh, God." "What did you do?" "Well, I was a little bit falling apart, and so I made a call." "And the next thing I knew," "I was in Atlantic City, dancing on the bar, making out." "Unbelievable." "You broke up Rick and Julie's wedding," "And then she broke up yours and Rick's, and then you broke up hers again." "I love your life." "Okay, okay, stop shouting at me." "Oh..." "Aah!" "I said stop!" "No, your finger, your finger!" "What?" "Aah!" "What the hell is that?" "I've never owned one, but that looks vaguely like a wedding ring!" "You got married?" "Yeah, apparently!" "Okay, wait, this is amazing." "After planning that whole wedding and breaking up with him, you finally married " "Morning, wife." "The plumber?" " Aah!" " Oh!" "Oh, my God, Tina, I did it." "I broke into Vince's car." "No, it wasn't that hard." "It's a convertible." "I'm actually really nervous." "Maybe I should just get out and forget this whole thing." "Are you kidding?" "This is the most romantic thing I have ever heard." "When Vince sees you pop up in the back seat all naked..." "Tina, I'm popping dressed." "I'm gonna say to him, "Vince, I love you," ""and I'm going to Florida with you." ""and I know I've said that before " ""not the Florida part, the 'I love you' part." ""but this time it's different." ""I don't care if it's not perfect." ""it doesn't have to be perfect." ""I am ready, and I don't want to be with anybody else ever again."" "Oh, my God, he's here!" "I gotta go!" "I love you!" " Bye!" " Bye!" "[ Ricki ]:" "Vince?" "Yeah?" "Where should I put my luggage?" "Oh, just throw it in the back." "Last night was so amazing." "I'm glad it doesn't have to end." "This is so cool, you just picking up and driving with me all the way to Florida." "Well, got a full tank of gas and a bag of Cheetos." "I figure we don't have to stop till..." "Virginia." "[ engine starts ]"