"Sway this way this sway this way Sway this way this way" "Sway this way this sway this way Sway this way this way" "O Rabba come unravel the mystic knots of love" "O Rabba come unravel the mystic knots of love" "O Rabba come unravel the mystic knots of love" "Find no gain or loss within the priceless knots of love" "You're ablaze ablaze ablaze The spark of love's a raging fire" "You're ablaze ablaze ablaze The spark of love's a raging fire" "Our eyes they fly like kites up high" "The threads of our gazes collide" "Drink the dew, that heady brew, 'n jus' sway baby sway" "Sway this way this sway this way Sway this way this way" "Sway this way this sway this way Sway this way this way" "Sway this way this sway this way Sway this way this way" "Sway this way this sway this way Sway this way this way" "O when it strikes and where no one knows" "But when it hits, it hurts and it shows" "Rabba.." "From every wound a little joy derive" "Pain's the price of being alive" "Rabba.." "Hear a little truth and a piece of a lie.." "..They'll hum in chorus inside of your eye" "They'll wax they'll wane and wax and wane, like candles" "They'll wax they'll wane and wax and wane, like candles" "Our eyes they fly like kites up high" "The threads of our gazes collide" "Drink the dew, that heady brew, 'n jus' sway baby sway" "Sway this way this sway this way Sway this way this way" "Sway this way this sway this way Sway this way this way" "Sway this way this sway this way Sway this way this way" "Sway this way this sway this way Sway this way this way" "O Then there's no problem.." "Deal." "Bye." "Bulla Man!" ".." "What's cooking?" "Hullo.." "Buddy Boy!" "I make promise I keep promise.." "Chill!" "What's up Sukesh Bhai?" "Relax relax!" "Not so fast." "First my commission." "Then take it." "Or should I call my dad to read it for you?" "Why are you insulting your dad?" "Insulting?" "Take your commission, give me the ticket." " Hey not the whole shop, just take four." " Chelsea champion.." "And with this, four lottery tickets." "Two.." "Ok.. don't call me if India makes it to the finals." "Ok my lord.. go ahead take four.." " Sorry." " Yeah right!" "I'm not that type. I got class." "Why're you glaring at me?" "You saw the way she glared at me..?" "I got class man." "Forget it." "Tickets.." "Bangladesh-Canada!" "Who wants Bangladesh-Canada?" "I want lndia-Pakistan!" "Rikki!" "Rikki!" "Damn it!" "Oh no, an hour late!" "O blimey!" "One hour late!" "If the apartment won't fit in the budget.." "..we'll fit the budget into the apartment." "Gotta go now.." "Mum's calling from Bhatinda." "Yikes!" "A man's gotta sit so a man's gotta sit.." "..just focus on your sandwich man, if she glares her eyes will hurt.." "Look it was an accident, I got class.." "Never mind!" "Ok.. ok, I also don't mind.." "Did I say you could sit?" "And you didn't say I couldn't.." "They're all occupied." "Whatsup.." "Hasn't reached yet?" "I swear by Chelsea I sent it first thing this morning.." "Whatchyasaying I won't lie in the name of Chelsea.." "So what's your sun-sign?" "Listen I'm already engaged.." "I've come to receive my fiance - he's on the train from Birmingham." "So?" "!" "What am I doing?" "Am I making a pass at you?" "Typical Indian mentality." "Sorry.." "Never mind.." "We all make mistakes.." "Me self Rikki.." "Rikki Thukral.." "And I'm Alvira.." "Alvira Khan from Lahore.." "Not typical Indian mentality.." "Thank God!" "Napkin?" "Take it.." "My best friend also Pakistani." "Huffy Bhai.." "Hafeez Pathan, business partner.." "He brings the latest lndian movies from Pakistan.." "I make copies of the DVDs and market them.." "Marketing pirated DVDs.." "Wow." "As if you've never watched a pirated movie." "I don't watch indian movies." "Whatchyasaying?" "It's true." "So you watch Pakistani movies?" "They're crap." "I only watch foreign language films.." "..French, Chinese, Iranian.." "At times Hollywood." "At times Hollywood!" "And that's good." "Which is why I'm not even in the DVD business anymore.." "Now Huffy Bhai and I are Property Agents.." "My folks.. they love Indian movies.." "Papa wanted to name me Madhubala, Mama got stuck on Sadhna." "Alvira is very beautiful name." "Flirting again.." "Why should I.." "I'm engaged too." "See original Topaz." "I've come to pick up my fiance too.." "..she's coming by the same train as your fiance.." "Does she even have a name or you always call her fiance?" "No she's nameless.. what a question!" "So what's her name?" "Anaida.." "So how did you two meet up?" "First time, we met at the Hotel Ritz." "Ritz?" "The one in Paris.." "The same one where the Princess Diana-Dodi episode happened.." "I was there that night.." "Diana was looking amazing.." "I was just five feet away.." "Had I reached out I could've touched her.." "And then appeared Anaida.." "Hundred times more beautifuler than Diana.." "She was the Assistant Manager at the Ritz.." "As Diana and Dodi reached the gate.." "..suddenly photographers popped out of everywhere.." "Everybody was looking at Diana.." "..but I was looking at Anaida" "Diana-Dodi's story was coming to an end.." "..and Rikki-Anaida's love story was about to start" "Haven't you heard.." "When two love-birds die another two are born." "You were wearing a suit?" "Yeah.." "You see.." "God made Man.." ".. And Tailor made Gentleman." "God made Man and after that Tailor made Gentleman." "..Huffy Bhai says." "Can't imagine you in a suit." "Goodness.." "Such a historic moment and you're worried about my suit.." "Had you and Huffy Bhai gone to rent out the Eiffel Tower?" "We're also into antiques in a big way.." "We'd gone to Paris for a deal." "DVDs, property, antiques.." "Wow." "Just not fashionable doing one business these days, boss." "Huffy Bhai was bringing the seller and the antiques from Bombay.." "..and I was handling the buyers in Paris." "And these antiques were obviously stolen." "They would have rotted away in India anyway.." "..what's the harm if a few people make some money out of it?" "It's 100%y hard earned money, madam." "Yeah right!" "Want to hear the rest of the story or should I leave?" "After finishing the story." "We'd been waiting for more than three hours.." "I was getting desperate.." "when would Huffy Bhai come.." "..when would this deal get over.." "..and when would I celebrate with Anaida.." "Hello.." "Rikki my darling!" "Huffy Bhai.." "Where are you man?" "Got stuck in Bombay.." "Whatchyasaying!" "I'll get screwed.." "Cops snatched the goods darling.." "What about you?" "Slipped out the moment I smelt trouble.." "Have the buyers left?" "Nope.. they're all here.." "Better slip out Rikki, slipping in and out is what we do best." "And look, just handle them with care." "They're babbling something in French." "I think they're cursing.." "Hello.." "Monsieur, don't go.." "Hello.. hello.." " Hello.." " Excuse me sir.." "Your bill.." "..please." "Huffy Bhai he's asking for my signature.." "He's climbing onto me Huffy Bhai." "One minute please.." "I ine cut.." "I don't.." " Huffy Bhai." " Signature.." "You were staying at The Ritz with empty pockets?" "The antique seller coming from India was to finance the trip.." "I didn't even have enough cash to watch cabaret at Lido.." "Where was Anaida in all this?" "Coming to that, boss.." "First let me get out of the room.." "Couldn't have walked out with the suitcase, they'd have caught me.." "..so I stuffed everything in my pockets.." "..wore my clothes on top of each other and walked out." "I'm Slim Shady, my Mamma's Slim Shady, please stand up, please stand up.." "She was just two feet away.." "..she looked at me and said.." "Are you alright sir?" "I died!" "She was being so nice to me and I was sneaking out of the hotel!" "Check air-conditioning.." "Any call tell I back evening ok.." "Ok." "Keys.." "Signature sir!" "Excuse me.." "Credit Card payment.. non.." "Why?" "Last bill.. when did you pay?" "Just paid before coming." "Credit card company says you haven't paid your dues for a year." "Liars!" "Never go for this card.." "I'm really regretting." "Careful with that please.." "it's invaluable." "Lottery ticket.." "First prize one million pounds.." "second prize free trip to Hollywood." "At this moment you're holding a million bucks in your hand." "Monsieur Thukral, I'm sure you will win the lottery some day.." "..you'll become a millionaire some day.." "..but the bill you'll settle today." "Now!" "Anaida Madam.." "Now look.." "Just by living in France you don't become French.." "..you got Indian blood in those veins." "Mon pere et mere etre Karachi." "Blood is Pakistani, Monsieur Thukral, not lndian." "Pakistani!" "I was screwed.. she was going to kill me with 60 years of hatred." "You Indians are amada to fight but always blame Pakistanis." "Amada means..?" "Don't you know what amada means?" "Sorry I don't." "It means ready.. always ready to fight." "I'm just amada to tell you my love story." "Am I fighting with you?" "Why would you fight with me?" "I'm not even Pakistani." "I'm British you know.." "Oh you're British.." "They what's the quarrel.." "Long live the Queen.." "So where was I?" "..there was Anaida, in her chair, and here I was standing beside her.." "What are these two going on about?" "That I call the cops." "No no no need cops." "Just think.." "..if this episode hadn't happened.." "if we'd met like normal people, the situation would've been very different." "Together we would've gone to Eiffel Tower.." "..climbed to the top and screamed.." "I love you Rikki!" "I love you Anaida!" "I said watch it!" "Ok.. ok." "Tell me what I have to do.." "I will do it.." "Till the entire bill is squared, I'm yours.." "..even otherwise I'm yours.." "Just follow me.." "These stay with me." "Can I take off my clothes?" "I'll drown in my sweat.. please.." "Where's the bathroom?" "Solomon.." "Rikki.." "What a cruel woman this Anaida!" "Hey.." "..you're talking about my fiance!" "Sorry.." "After washing how many plates did she melt?" "What is my name?" "Rikki Thukral." "Righto!" "Ullu ka pattha.." "Paththa.." "Never mind.. try this.." "Harami!" "(Hindi swear word)" "Harami.." "Well done!" "Harami means.." "my dear.." "Anaida where?" "Say it in Hindi.." "Why cry?" "Madam.." "What do you want?" "Me?" "Nothing.." "Hanky you want." "Just leave me alone.." "Take take.." "My best friend also Pakistani.." "No.." "I have these.." "This special hanky.." "Makes beautiful face more beautifuler." "See.. tears going.." "..smile coming.. more beautifuler." "Merci.." "But why cry?" "It's Diana's funeral.." "Today?" "Where?" "London?" "I so badly wanted to go." "So don't feel sad.." "Let's both go to London.." "I couldn't get leave." "That's so unfair.." "No leave even for such an important thing.." "They really overwork you." "Look, but when you come to London next stay at my house.." "It's small.. but very nice." "No.." "Actually, it's too small for you.." "Thukral.." "Want to go home?" "If I let you go my boss will fire me." "Believe me, Anaida madam.." "Moment you let me go I'll be back from London in a jiffy with the money." "But if you don't.." "I will be screwed." "I will not allow anybody screw you.." "One chance, please." "Soon as I landed in London, I went straight to Diana memorial.." "To offer flowers.." "You went to offer flowers?" "I'd never waste money on dead people.." "I would think so." "Huffy Bhai is a die-hard Diana lover.." ".. even now if you mention her name, he gets a sigh attack.." "My instrument is broken, here I am, a musician without fame.." "My beloved is gone, here I am, living without shame.." "I'm in a mess Huffy Bhai.." " What?" "Have to go back to Paris to settle the hotel bill.. gimme some money." "Have you gone mad?" "Have we ever settled anything that we'll settle a bill?" "No.." "But this time we will.." "please gimme some money." "If Huffy Bhai says no, then it's a no." "End of story." "Now forget about it dear.." "see what I have here.." "I've been through hell and you're showing me this photo." "Not just any photo.." "look behind it." "We'll go dancing to Hollywood my boy.. you won the lottery Rikki!" "You won the lottery!" "Your Hollywood dream has come true!" "We're going to Hollywood my boy, we're going to Hollywood!" "Why are you stumped?" " Lost it.." " Not lost.." "it's with Anaida." " Who's that?" " Hotel's manager.." "What does she look like?" " Very beautiful." " Not another word I understood everything." " Understood what?" "!" "Had to leave the suitcase and wallet with her.." "She wasn't letting me leave.." "the ticket's in the wallet." "How many times have I told you, stay away from women.." "..they snatch things that matter." " Now go back and get the ticket." " How?" "Without the money for the bill.." "she'll get me arrested.." "Here.." "What all you make me do.." "Huffy Bhai must you lift your shirt everywhere.." "If I move I'll lose my place." "Here." "And don't tell that girl you won." "Understood?" "Now get lost.." "I'll get you perfume from Paris." "Yea, I'll have a real perfume party." "Now scram!" "I dreamt of going to Hollywood.." "..but the lottery ticket was financed by Huffy Bhai." "My heart was dying to live the Hollywood dream with Anaida." "But I made my heart understand.." "She's Miss World, you're Rikki Thukral" "Why would she go with you?" "Huffy Bhai is what you get Rikki.." "Settle the bill get the ticket.. simple." "Hullu ke paththa!" "What's baldy saying?" "He says, can't believe you're back." "I had to.." "My lottery ticket's still with you." "You came for the ticket?" "And to settle the bill.." "..it's all there.. including the taxi-fares." "Good.." "Solomon.." "And my stuff?" "Solomon.. his stuff." "Harami why is she so touchy today?" "Why angry?" "My ticket!" "Madam.." "What do you want?" "That.." "What that?" "That which is in your hand.." "that's mine too." "It's in my hand.. so it's mine." "Whatchyasaying?" "It was in my purse.. which I left with you.." " With whose permission did you go?" " Yours.." "And if I hadn't let you go?" "I'd have rotted away.." "or gone to jail." "And that didn't happen." "So?" "So this ticket is.." "My fee.." "Fees?" "For saving you.." "How do you say.." "My cut." "Au'revoir.." "My God!" "What a creep.." "I know.." "So then how did you get engaged?" "That's another story altogether.." "[ Skipped item nr. 392 ] lf my eyes were a crystal palace blue" "Walk right in, wouldn't you?" "Just for one day if not two" "What's life without you" "Dunked in dew, a peppermint drop, you waft so cool and fresh" "A thread cut kite soaring away, a sliced cloud caress" "Give me all the pieces or a fragment of your heart" "Or else give me back my Ticket to Hollywood" "Ticket to Hollywood, Ticket to Hollywood" "Give it back!" "Ticket to Hollywood, Ticket to Hollywood" "Give it back!" "Ticket to Hollywood, Ticket to Hollywood" "Give it back!" "Ticket to Hollywood, Ticket to Hollywood Give it back!" "Dunked in dew, a peppermint drop, you waft so cool and fresh" "A thread cut kite soaring away, a sliced cloud caress" "Two inches off the ground you walk, stepping on thin air" "Leave a hint, a footprint, and I'll stop and stare" "At the corner of that sidewalk, that's closest to your lair" "Say the word and I'll wait my life right there" "No, no monsieur, no, no, lt ain't that simple now" "Go get lost somehow" "This is all you'll ever get, not a Ticket to Hollywood" "Give it back!" "Ticket to Hollywood, Ticket to Hollywood" "Give it back!" "Ticket to Hollywood, Ticket to Hollywood" "Give it back!" "Ticket to Hollywood, Ticket to Hollywood Give it back!" "Ticket to Hollywood, Ticket to Hollywood Give it back!" "Gimme gimme gimme, gimme my ticket" "Gimme gimme, gimme my ticket" "No no no no no no no, monsieur no no" "No no no no, monsieur no no" "My Ticket to Hollywood No Ticket to Hollywood" "My Ticket to Hollywood No Ticket to Hollywood lf my eyes were a crystal palace blue" "Walk right in, wouldn't you?" "Just for one day if not two" "What's life without you.." "It's stubborn as a mule" "So heartless it's uncool" "When this heart gets set on something it gets set in stone" "You're the queen of France I'm just a whistler in a trance" "Trust me baby where l come from that's not how it's done" "No no monsieur, no no, it ain't that simple now" "Go get lost somehow" "Or else give me back, my Ticket to hollywood." "Ticket to Hollywood, Ticket to Hollywood" "Give it back!" "Ticket to Hollywood, Ticket to Hollywood" "Give it back!" "Ticket to Hollywood, Ticket to Hollywood Give it back!" "Ticket to Hollywood, Ticket to Hollywood Give it back!" "Dunked in dew, a peppermint drop, you waft so cool and fresh" "A thread cut kite soaring away, a sliced cloud caress" "Give it back.." "Ticket to Hollywood!" "Ticket to Hollywood!" "Ticket to.." "Okay enough.. it's not funny anymore." "You want to go don't you?" "You go then.." "Hollywood would suit you best.." "Huffy Bhai and I wouldn't fit in all that glamour.." "We got some kicks while waiting for the results.." "..that's enough for us.." "You'll take pictures won't you.." "..remember to send me.." "I'll see Hollywood through your eyes." "Take.. take.." "To hell with your ticket.." "Why did you make me run then?" "I want Thukral not the ticket.." "I was waiting.." "Thukral will come.." "I will hug him.." "..he will kiss me.." "How many Thukrals do you know?" "Only one stupid, idiot, moron, Thukral" "..who came back for his lottery ticket, not for me." "Whatchyasaying?" "Just go to hell.." "Don't be angry.. please.." "Thukral actually came back for you.." "..all the time dreaming of going to Hollywood with you." "Then why didn't he ask me?" "You're Miss World.." "..and he's Rikki Thukral.." "..even if he touched you, you'd get spoiled.." "Didn't get spoiled using his hanky.." "..in fact, became more beautifuler.." "There'll only be one bed for two people." "We can adjust.." "..it's only for seven days.." "Seven days that's it?" "!" "Thukral was thinking of adjusting his entire life with you." "Full life adjust." "Ok.." "Whatchyasaying?" "!" "I'm saying I love Thukral, you idiot." "I love you Anaida!" "You sacrificed the ticket on her?" "!" "The moment she said my cut.." "..that was the turning point of my innings.." "That's when I made up my mind, she was just my type.." "Ticket was no big deal, I'd have sacrificed my life." "Must admit.." "What?" "You're a die-hard romantic." "Whatchyasaying?" "Moment ago you couldn't even share the table with me and now.." "And now what?" "Now.." "..your turn.. tell me.." "..how did you meet your fiance?" "Now don't be an aunty ji." "Oh I get it.. arranged is it?" "Boy from Birmingham.. five figure salary, good moral character.." " Hobbies cricket and.." " Rubbish.." "So it's not arranged?" "Superman brought us together." "He sells comic books?" "Have you been to Madame Tussaud's, the wax museum?" "Of course I've been.." "..they have several models of our guys.." "Gandhi ji, Nehru ji, Indira ji, Ash ji, Amit ji.." "..our good ol' Bachchan.." "..very few of your Pakistanis.." "Anyway.. so you went to Tussaud's .." ".. with my cousin Humera.." "There was a Superhero Special at Madame Tussaud's.." "Batman, Hawkman, Aquaman, Superman.." "..giant sized models everywhere.." "Humera, my cousin was jumping from one to the other screaming.." ".. Aapi take a picture of this.." ".. Aapi take a picture of that.." "Watch out!" "If the fake Superman had fallen on me, it'd have squashed me.." "But the real Superman saved my life.." "I was dying to kiss him and say I love you.." "So.. you kissed him?" "Didn't even say I love you." "I took an oath when I was six years old.." "Dear God I will never fall in love with a dark-skinned Pakistani or Indian.." "Please find a nice white-skin British man just like yourself to marry me." "Amen" " Hello." " Hi.." "Sorry, I'm on the phone" "Yeah this is Steve.." "Bollocks!" "I've already said I don't want his case.." "Don't ever call me again.." "Your name's Steve?" "Yeah.." "But you're.." "Mum British.." "Dad Punjabi.." "Ouch!" "My foot.." "God it hurts." "Left or right?" "Both.." "You were badly hurt?" "No silly.." "I pretended so he would stay." "Way to go boss, I'd have done the same." "..but what about the oath?" "He is half Brit isn't he.." "..so I compromised." "Must admit.." "Drink something I'll have .." "Pepsi!" "No not Pepsi, Seven Up.." "Actually Tango.." "..and chips, cookies and that chocolate.." "I was praying that a miracle would happen." "..and Humera would vanish forever.." "..and not ruin the foot massage." "Those fingers were just magical" "Fingers so delicate, arms so strong.." "..he carried me all the way to my bedroom.." "He was forcing Michelle to dance .." "Michelle?" "Yeah.. that's her name.." "Michelle didn't want to dance.." "..but he insisted.." "I stopped him .." "He hit you so hard?" "Just a scratch." "He's still going through plastic surgery.." "So then you and Michelle .." "Got married or still dating?" "She wasn't the one." "O .." "Your parents are amazing .." "He barged into your bedroom and they didn't even mind." "Why would they .. he saved their daughter .." "Papa-Mama had found their son-in-law.." "Son-in-law!" "You met the thug an hour ago.. and you're already planning marriage.." "Thug!" "With a foot-long scar on his face.." "has to be a thug!" "Forget it I'm not telling you the rest of the story." "Ok sorry.." "You get stuck in these small details." "The flavour is all in the small details .." "How did he look.." "What did he say.." "How did he touch.." "Where did he touch.." "Ok so who touched what where?" "Good night." "Don't let Superman bite." "Good night." "Shit!" "Phone number!" "Steve.." "Steve!" "Hey Steve.. give me your number.. please!" "Where would I have found him .." "There are thousands of Steves in London .." "Next day was like hell .." "..but when I came back from work next evening .." "..then.." "I'll get it!" "Hello?" "Hi .." "Thanks for the flowers and the chocolates.." "Can you walk alright ..?" "Just about .." "Then you need another round of massage." "My car's waiting for you.." "Bye.." "Bye!" "Find it funny.." "I was in such pain.." "You lied.." "If you lie .." "..it always catches up with you." "Lie, go ahead and lie.." "..but make sure it's palatable.." "..Huffy Bhai says." "So then you limped all the way to meet him." "I hopped, skipped and jumped to his office.." "..but as I entered the edifice.." "I was psyched.." "It's not that I have holes in my pockets.." "..but this guy was bigger than Prince Charles.." "A snap of his fingers.." "..and all the Bond Street beauties would line up at his door.." "For a moment I was scared.." "..then I thought, let's deal with it." "Hi Al .." "Al?" "How do you know..?" "Friends call you Al.." "Mama-Papa call you Allo .." "Allo's cute .." "Please!" "Sounds like the name of a fat cat." "..Work at the House of Fraser .." "Manager." "Visit the church every morning before office." "A five minute prayer." "Five minutes." "No more, no less." "This guy's a police officer or a gangster?" "Are you a gangster or a police officer.." "I haven't committed a crime?" "Yes you have.." "..You made me fall in love with you." "What do you do in such a huge office?" "Lemme guess .." "..blackmailing." "Pretty close." "We're lawyers." "Singh and Smith and Company.." "You're Steve Singh of 'Singh and Smith'?" "!" "Wow!" "You're so .. so .." "Horrible?" "And young too.." "Now explain the pictures.." "You're not going to decorate your house with them are you?" "Not a bad idea.." "Steve!" "Okay look .." "This company has a board of directors ..are you with me?" "Good .." "..now the board has decided .." "..that I should propose to you .." "Propose?" "!" "How does the board know about us?" "The board knows everything .." "Ok." "I don't care on whose behest you propose.." "..go ahead propose. I'm ready!" "The proposal is that you sue Madame Tussaud's.." "..for the Superman accident.." "..and appoint me your lawyer.." "But don't accept this proposal.." "I've done my duty." "I'll tell the Board of Directors.." "..that you've refused." "But why don't you want me to sue Madame Tussaud's?" "If I wasn't in love with you, I'd love you to." "Within seconds I would've gotten you to sign the papers .." "Within days.." "I would've used you as a client.." "If, I wasn't in love with you.." "How much money?" "About a million .." "Million pound!" "Wow!" "Million pounds?" "Champagne or juice?" "Ok.." "Champagne okay or juice okay?" "I accept your offer.. ok." "Al .." "Can I call you Al?" "Hmm .." "Al .. you don't have to get involved in this." "But I want to get involved." "You've done so much for me .." "..the least I can do is help you." "Al .." "..you're such a simple girl.." "Who says I'm simple?" "Come let's fix the deal .." "..if we win you take your commission from the compensation." "..but if we lose, it's your loss." "Smart girl!" "Steve said the same thing." "Smart girl." "Okay .. deal." " To Superman!" " To Superman!" "This isn't the right time." "Why?" "It's eight thirty.." "too early for you?" "Ms. Khan .." "I'm your lawyer .." "you're my client .." "..our relationship should stay professional till we win the case.." "Till then .." "Let's stay away." "Too much.." "Isn't it." "Really too much." "Really." "How did he stop himself at the last moment?" "Not everybody can do that .." "you need to have balls." "This is called self control." "This is called.. class." "Just look at her.. my client." "Does she want riches?" "No." "Does she want revenge?" "No my lord." "She wants your compassion, your sympathy.." "..and my love.." "Hey!" "Stay away from the Kiss of Love.." "O they kill me, those tangy eyes" "Kiss of love, kiss of love" "Falling stars fill up my skies" "Kiss of love, kiss of love" "O they kill me, those tangy eyes" "Kiss of love, kiss of love" "Falling stars fill up my skies" "Kiss of love, kiss of love" "O when I steal a peek into your eyes" "You rob me of a breath" "O when I steal a peek into your eyes" "You rob me of a breath" "O shut them tight O shut those eyes" "They're raiders running red" "Kiss of love, kiss of love, stay away from the kiss of love" "Kiss of love, kiss of love, stay away from the kiss of love" "O the helpless trappings" "Of this brazen heart" "A night seems like eternity" "When it's spent apart" "Your love has made me many things" "A weaver, too, of dreams I lie awake a thousand years" "Sleep a thousand it seems" "When you drop your bashful gaze" "The stars come tumbling down" "O shut them tight O shut those eyes" "They're raiders running red" "Kiss of love, kiss of love, stay away from the kiss of love" "Kiss of love, kiss of love, stay away from the kiss of love" "The English court of Law decides the case in favour of Ms. Khan." "To you, my plea" "Do your duty" "Touch my pulse" "And set me free" "Don't turn back for a peek at the world" "You might trip and tumble down" "With a foot thump swing in dance and a twirl" "This moment will come around" "When you drop your bashful gaze" "The stars come tumbling down" "O shut them tight O shut those eyes" "They're raiders running red" "Kiss of love, kiss of love, stay away from the kiss of love" "Stay away, stay away, stay away from the kiss of love" "Kiss of love, kiss of love, stay away from the kiss of love" "Stay away, stay away, stay away from the kiss of love" "Kiss of love, kiss of love, stay away from the kiss of love" "Kiss of love, kiss of love, stay away from the kiss of love" "Hey!" "Stay away from the kiss of love" "So you two .." "Got engaged." "No I mean you and he .. you know .." "..you had sex?" "We made love." "Good good .. nice.." "But your hero.. he's kind of filmi.." "Much better than you." "Isn't stingy in buying flowers for his girlfriend." "He's much stingier than me.." "..if he's such a millionaire why isn't he coming by air to meet you?" "..why is he coming by train?" "Because of work.." "..there's a case involving British Railways.." "..which he's investigating on the train.." "Great now he's going to screw the railways.." "What?" "Ok fine he's not stingy .." "..but he's still a lawyer .." "..you be careful." "How'd you know?" "You haven't even met him?" "As if meeting him is going to change anything .." "It'll change your opinion of him." "Fine, so we'll meet.." "Just a matter of another hour." "Oh blimey!" "Get going buddy." "The train must have arrived.." "You took so long to tell the story." "Because you kept interrupting." "Let's not fight now." "Ok." "You carry on.." "I'll just buy some doughnuts." "Doughnuts?" "!" "For Anaida.. she must be hungry." "That's very sweet." "I got class." "Bye." "Bye .." "When did this train get here?" "Half an hour ago .." "But wasn't it an hour late?" "Late?" "!" "Left Manchester on time.." "Manchester?" "!" "What happened to the Birmingham train?" "O blimey!" "Another hour late!" "Another hour late!" "Damn!" "Blimey!" "Coffee?" "Only coffee." "I'll have a doughnut with my coffee." "No!" "I don't mean that .." "..only coffee, nothing else .." "..you know." "I know I know .." "I love Anaida." "So?" "I love Steve." "Steve seems the cuppa tea type.." "No cuppa tea, only coffee.." "Our eyes they fly like kites up high" "The threads of our gazes collide" "Drink the dew, that heady brew 'n jus' sway baby sway" "Sway this way this sway this way sway this way this way" "Sway this way this sway this way sway this way this way" "Sway this way this sway this way sway this way this way" "Sway this way this sway this way sway this way this way" "Disgusting." "She's nice.. why disgusting?" "Not her." "You're disgusting." "You're worse than my neighbour." "What does he do?" "Lives in the house right opposite mine." "Whenever I'm in my room he spies on me through his telescope." "You must be doing something to tempt him." "Me?" "Aho!" "Aho!" "Aho!" "I don't do anything.." "C'mon game." "I'm not playing." "First you'll do one thing that you've never done but I've done," "Then I'll do one thing that I've never done but you've done." "I've done everything.." "Your turn first.. follow me." "I'm not going anywhere.. we play right here, in front of everybody." "I'm not that kinda guy.." "I got class man.." "If I wanted to kiss you I'd have asked." "This is the limit." "You.. just forget it." "Just sip the coffee and read the newspaper.." "Sorry." "Go up on that escalator." "But it's coming down." "So?" "You've never climbed up an escalator that's coming down?" "I have." "Many times." "Off you go." "This is the game." "This is crazy." "I don't bother for it.." "Hold this." "Get started.." "You gone crazy." "Mind your own business." "This escalator's coming down." "Oh really I didn't know." "You'll hurt yourself." "Keep quite!" "Idiot!" "Moron!" "Not bad." "Ok." "Ok my turn next." "Rikki eveready.." "Have you ever gotten a tattoo done?" "No." "Have you?" "Liar.. show." "Can't.. it's here.." "I'm not doing anything till I see it myself." "God you're impossible." "Hold this.." "Higher.." "Here." "Happy.. ?" "But what is it?" "Butterfly." "Oh." "Show again." "You wish!" "C'mon!" "Bring it on big mamma.. kill me.." "Boom Shankar!" "Just imagine.." "..if you and I were not engaged.." "..and Anaida and Steve had bumped into each other on the train.." "Now just suppose.." "..if Steve-Anaida had met.." "had coffee together.." "..chatted up.." "..you think they would've hit it off?" "Fallen in love?" "Then Steve would've been Anaida's Rikki.." "..and Anaida would've been Steve's Alvira." "Then what would've happened to Rikki and Alvira?" "You flirting?" "What do you mean by Rikki and Alvira?" "Why don't you just say you and I.." "Right ok.." "..if we had met, just like that.." "I mean.." "..if Steve and Anaida were out of the picture.." "Then what would've happened?" "Say.." "Pluck threads of light from the weave of the moon" "And knit yourself a veil" "Pluck threads of light from the weave of the moon" "And knit yourself a veil lf l'm shy I'll face your warm embrace" "Entwine your breath in mine" "Hold me haike haike Hold me haike haike" "Your lips so haike haike Hold me haike" "Hold me haike haike Hold me haike haike" "Your lips so haike haike Hold me haike" "Here's the Taj Mahal." "A red stone Taj?" "It is the Taj." "Someone's painted it red." "Tell me this monument's name, or I'll leave." "King Humayun's Tomb." "Didn't have the money to take you to Agra and show you the real Taj." "Sorry." "From today Humayun's Tomb is the Taj for me.." "As beautiful as our love.." "Come exchange your sleep for mine" "Give me a dream, take one from me" "There's one dream trapped inside these eyes" "One beneath a pillow moon" "Let's put to bed this sleepless sky" "Come join me in a lullabye" "Hold me haike haike Hold me haike haike" "Your lips so haike haike Hold me haike" "Hold me haike haike Hold me haike haike" "Your lips so haike haike Hold me haike" "One should cover their head before entering a Gurdwara (Sikh temple)" "Even in the Dargah." "Must cleanse your body before offering prayers to the Gurdwara.." "Same at the Dargah." "What I get from my Guru, will I get from your shrine?" "They both house the love divine.." "My devotion is your devotion.." "Your love is my love.." "It took us an endless age to say" "Two words, one eternal thought" "That one day seemed a hundred years" "Another hundred the night forgot" "How would it be if soft, slow, silent" "Eternity were in a moment caught" "Hold me haike haike Hold me haike haike" "Your lips so haike haike" "Taj!" "No, Humayun's Tomb." "As beautiful as our love." "No profit, no loss, no virtue, no sin.." "Love infinite love.." "Marry me." "Then every year we'll celebrate our wedding anniversary.." "..right here at Taj." "Every year Taj?" "Promise." "I accept." "Pluck threads of light from the weave of the moon" "And knit yourself a veil" "If I'm shy I'll face" "Your warm embrace" "Entwine your breath in mine" "Hold me haike haike Hold me haike haike" "Your lips so haike haike Hold me haike" "Hold me haike haike Hold me haike haike" "Your lips so haike haike Hold me haike" "So.." "What would've happened between us.." "..if Steve and Anaida weren't in the picture?" "What would've happened?" "Would've been war." "Right.." ".. war." "Nothing else could've happened." "No chance at all.." "The train coming in from Birmingham has arrived on Platform number 3." "Sorry for the inconvenience." "Train's come too soon." "Soon?" "Late by two hours.." "Late it is but still too soon isn't it?" "Sorry?" "You go get your doughnuts." "Bye." "Hey wait!" "You don't have my number?" "Why should I?" "May come handy.." "Flirting again.. ?" "Marketing.." "Ok.." "My number's 7902653241 ." "In case you ever need a lawyer.." "Why would I want to sue anyone?" "Keep it.. may come handy." "Bye." "Hey Jajjan, cuppa tea here." "Yeah.. am on my way." "Yeah" "..where are you?" "Been waiting for the last two hours.." "At the station, couldn't wait at the platform for two hours could I?" "Now why would I lie.." "Have I ever lied to you?" "Ok. I'm coming.." "Relax my dear.." "I am here.." "Coming to meet you Huffy Bhai!" "Where are you man?" "What do you mean?" "You're following Karachi time, we're in England!" "Salawalekum Phupho (Aunty) Hi Humera!" "How was the trip?" " How are you?" " Smashing." "Give me.." "I'll take that." " Meet these guys.." "Let's go.." " Ok.. come along." "Hang on, let's have tea first.." "Not here." "Five minutes wont bring calamity." "It will.. big calamity.." "Ok.." "Hey boys, we gotta go now.." "Tea.." "Tea?" "Tea.." "Let them guzzle tea.." "we'll get going.." "This is going to kill our reputation in the market." "Boys, Partner has got news cops have raided the station.." "..they're hunting out illegals, let's go!" "You guys can travel alone from Birmingham to London.." ".. but not from the station to home?" "I'm not coming to receive you next time?" "Shahriyar Bhai's coming tomorrow from Birmingham.." "..You two are getting married." "What?" "!" "Now don't start jumping with excitement.." "..you're not getting married tomorrow.." "Take this." "I can't Aapi.." "I'm tired." "Hold it or I'll sock you!" "Hello Neil where are you?" "It's a crisis, come over to my place now!" "I'm in love!" "O this love's a repeat offender, it errs every time Rabba.." "Though I try to save it from its grave.." "..it surrenders to its crime Rabba.." "If someone finds a way in, if someone gets you swayin'" "Again and again and again, don't fling a dart at my heart with your eyes" "..don't fling a dart at my heart with your eyes" "Our eyes they fly like kites up high" "The threads of our gazes collide" "Drink the dew, that heady brew 'n jus' sway baby sway" "Sway this way this sway this way Sway this way this way" "Sway this way this sway this way Sway this way this way" "Huffy Bhai.." "I'm in love." "She's an amazing girl." "That's why she's already engaged?" "Tell me what should I do?" "Show me the way." "Rikki darling, you.." "It squeaks." "We'll oil it." "If it still squeaks?" "We'll oil it some more." "If it still squeaks.." "Then we'll pour the oil on you and set you on fire!" " Rikki relax.." " What do the hell Huffy Bhai!" "They'll pay 300 month for rent and expect Buckingham Palace.." "Look you've seen the place now leave.." "That's how much we show.." "We'll call if we want to rent it out.." "Yes yes, we'll call.." "Where've these bums landed from?" "Bhatinda." "Whatchyasaying?" "Not from my Bhatinda." "Relax darling.. just relax.." "How can I relax.." "Some other woman has trapped him." "Even if she hadn't trapped him, what could you've done?" "For him you're already engaged." "You're amazing innit.." "Even if you were actually engaged, you should've kept mum." "Looked kinda dodgy at first." "So to avoid him I cooked up the lie." "She wasn't even willing to share the table.." "..only when I told her I'm engaged did she melt.." "What a story I cooked up Huffy Bhai.. now even you're famous.." "That's my boy!" " But isn't he a brownie?" " And a smart aleck too.." "But he's so romantic so romantic.." "Slow down darling dead-end ahead." "How was I to know after spending two hours together.." "I'd want to spend my whole life with her.." "Ah well said darling well said.." "There wouldn't have been this mess if I'd met her earlier.." "Well said my boy.. well said.." "Huffy Bhai.." "Yes darling.." "Why didn't I meet her first?" "Ask her next time, if you meet her.." "And listen, take it forward only if he calls." "Sorry.." "I'm breaking that 'dark skinned' oath today." "You understand don't you." "Actually he isn't even so dark," "He's more on the wheatish side.." "Anyway you know it all.." "Help me." "Please." "Amen." "She'll go crazy about me.." "..she'll spend the rest of her life with me" "First she cut your call.." "..and now she's turned it off." "I'm getting a call from Punjab.." "I've called Punjab your job will be done.." "My man is in Punjab he'll.." "Damn it I'm in Punjab right now, we'll talk when I'm back.." "Come on my boy don't cry.." "..we'll get you another toy." "I will get that one.." "..just watch." "Really?" "!" "I'm going to get fired because of you.." "Get me a job at your showroom.." "..and I'll listen to your love-story whenever you want.." "Rikki called!" "No!" "What did he say?" "I didn't get to talk to him.." "Forgot to turn on the phone after church.." "Idiot!" ".." "Call now." "Don't let this tangle ruin our business.. go on take the call.." "I'm in New York right now, call in two days." "Rikki Thukral this is Alvira Khan." "Attitude!" "Remember she cut you off.." "Alvira who?" "Alvira who!" "He said Alvira who!" "You hang up.. right now!" "Right." "Hello.." "Oh Alvira Khan.." "You know how I keep getting unwanted calls.." "Got connected to you by mistake.." "I'd scribbled another number right next to yours.." "I just got mixed up." "No mixture here madam.." "..you just took my name Rikki Thukral?" "Actually.." "Steve wants to meet you." "Steve?" "Yeah, he's dying to meet you.." "Look we just had coffee together.." "..that too not in secret.. out in the open.." "What're you saying?" "Steve's not like that.." "He just wants to meet you.." "just like that." "O like that?" "Like that.. it's ok.." "Yeah like that." "With you and your fiance.." "What did you say her name is?" "Anaida.." "He's sitting right here.." "He?" "I mean she.." "When I'm gushing with love I call her he." "We're hogging Chinese." "Good.. enjoy your lunch then.." "And do tell Steve I'm kinda busy today.." "..let's program it for some other day." "It's alright.." "Now that Anaida's back you must be stuck." "Not really.." "I mean Steve's a buddy after all.." "..would've surely taken off time to meet him.." "..but tonight Anaida and I are going to Jharokha for a dance competition." "Anyway, the two of us are going out for dinner this evening.." "You know.. candle-lights, soft music, and all that." "O all that.." "We're the hard music types" "That's my boy!" "What a fab dancer Anaida is.." "Really." "Actually Steve's been after me to go to Jharokha.." "He's very curious about what the Southall crowd does there?" "We blow up bombs." "Sorry?" "!" "What do you expect people to do in a discotheque?" "They dance." "So then we'll drop by after dinner.." "..to see you guys dance." "So you're coming tonight?" "Maybe.." "It's all set up.." "She's meeting me tonight at Jharokha.." "Idiot not with you alone.." "with Anaida too." "Now don't you worry.." "call her in the evening.." "..and make some excuse.." "now have some kebabs." "Lateef, half plate kebabs here.." "It's coming.." "Huffy Bhai.." "My heart's amada (ready) to meet her.." "Showing of your Urdu today!" "Ok you go meet her and we'll cook up some excuse for Anaida.." "Just say her mum died." "Died." "Sure." "Anaida's mum's died and I've come to the dance competition to meet you.." "..now will you dance with me Alvira?" "Give me break Huffy Bhai!" "When you were cooking up this fantastic story.." "should have created Anaida with someone real in mind." "Then in a crisis like this, we could've used her as Anaida." "That's exactly what I did.." "..but she won't agree to go as Anaida." "Who is it?" ".." "Tell me I'll talk to her." "No, you'll clobber me." "I won't.. go on." "Laila.." "Laila?" "Our Laila?" "!" "She's quite a looker." "So why do you stay away from her?" "Paying for sex is not nice.." "Here call her." "Oh no dear.. it's best if you talk to her." "Hey Lateef is a half-plate going to take a full hour?" "Are you butchering a goat?" "Take it easy Huffy Bhai.." "Speed it up here.." "Are you butchering a goat!" "?" "It'll all get set." "..and give my regards to Laila.." "What's this Steve-is-dying-to-meet-you rubbish?" "He said Alvira who, how could I have said.." "I'm dying to meet you after that." "And you shouldn't.. he'll be there with his fiance." "At least once I have to see that dodgy Anaida, who's trapped my Rikki." "Your Rikki!" "Have you lost it?" "Yes.." "The go." "But you're not going to park yourself at Jharokha are you?" "Right now I have to go to your showroom.. to convince Steve." "Steve.. in my showroom?" "!" "Yes.. c'mon now." " Satvinder sweets I've been waiting.." " My turn Satvi.." "My eyes still hurt Satvi.." " Get your hands off him.." " You try removing them.." " Don't look at these two, I'm here for you.." " Bring it on.." " Watch me!" " Alright bitch!" "Ladies please!" "Mum always says.. good girls don't fight." "O.. so you too are crazy about Satvinder?" "No way!" "Because you keep going on about Satvinder twenty-four-seven.." "..his face got stuck in my head." "You're so lucky.." "O Satvinder.." "Steve.." "He's my Sattu ok!" "Satvinder, look something's wrong with my glasses again." "Where are they?" "Oh silly me.." "I looked here and I looked there.." "..and they've been hanging in the middle all this while." "Please taste them properly.." "My Mum always says.." "If you take care of your glasses your glasses will take care of you.." "I've cleaned them.." "They're fine." "My mum always says.. you got to put things back where they belong." "That's amazing innit.." "My Mum says exactly the same thing.." "There you go.." "Putting it back for your Mum's sake." "Have a nice day." "Sattu!" "What do you want?" "Nothing.." "She needs.. help." "How can I help you?" "So that's all I need you to do.." "Simple, innit." "You mean there is no problem with your eyes?" "But this is an even bigger problem.. help me." "Telling lies is bad.." "If Mum gets to know she'll be very mad.." "Then we won't tell Mum." "Mum gets to know everything." "is she your Mum or cia?" "cia." "Your eyes are fine.." "there is no problem." "There is there is.. very big problem." "Thanks for coming, have a nice day." "Okay.." "I must say.. you're a very brave boy.." "In this day and age only brave kids do as their Mum says." "I'm no kid.." "You can't fool me." "Ouch my foot!" "Left or right?" "Both.." "God it hurts..!" "Anybody out there.. this man is carrying me away." "Don't worry.." "I'll take you home" "He's going to take me home.." "Help !" "Lemme go." "How will I take you to the taxi then.." "O he's going to rape me in the taxi.." "It's a rape situation.. put me down you molester!" "You.. are.. so.. bad." "I'm pressing charges against this man.." "No no, wait.." "Neil, hand this tape to your Manager.." "Hear me out.." "Let's hear.." "I.." "I hate you!" "Neil.." "Ok fine.." "I'll help.." "But I still hate you." "So sweet Sattu!" "Steve.." "Steve.." "Ronnie you asshole!" "I want my breakfast now!" "Breakfast at this time?" "!" "Are you my pimp that you'll keep tabs on my meal timings?" "I just.." "..just not.." "..just for you.." "It's a screwy job man.." "I know and I will pay.." "You bet your ass you will.." "but double.." "Done. I'll pay double." "So the deal's fixed." "You'll just need to make a few alterations." "do I look like a tailor?" "Can you please cut down on the swearing." "Why?" "Anaida doesn't." "Screw her.." "Who's this bitch Anaida anyway?" "You.." "Anaida.." "If I go I'll go as Satvinder otherwise I'll.." "Neil!" ".. go by any other name." "What's in a name anyway?" "So what is your name?" "Superman.." "Took ages to get it on.. stop fingering it, it'll come off." "O Mum.." "What a mess I've gotten myself into.." "Stop biting your nails." "I hate you.." "Good.." "Where are you Mum?" "Whatchyasaying?" "Limousine!" "If we're competing with Superman.." "we have to match his car, right?" "Don't mind but we'll come back by tube.." "Come.." "Gently please." "You .. we're paying you innit?" "Just shut up and drive." "Now why are you shitting bricks?" "Because you just don't stop swearing." "And can you speak Hindi in English style?" "But isn't your Anaida French?" "English style will do.." "Non non non.." "Mon Chere, Mon amoure, Sui Passe.." "You've lived in Paris?" "Darling in our profession, we don't go to Paris or Tokyo.." "Paris and Tokyo come to us.." "Why French, I can be from anywhere in the world.." "Japanese?" "No no, for now French will do.." "..just the swearing.." "..cut down a bit.." "Satsri kai (Greetings) to all the Pajis and Auntyjis!" "Welcome to Jharokha!" "Let's see if you can shake those bloody legs a little faster.." "..for Mr.  Ms Southall!" "Aren't you Tejinder's son?" "Even your father breaks into queues like this.. buzz off!" "Oh you're so cute.." "Here's your number.. stick it on your back.." "Seventy seven.." "My lucky number!" "God.. what a cheesy crowd.." "Looks like all my Mum's friends have landed up here." "Don't worry, no one will recognize you.." "You look very.. different.." "Pinky aunty!" "Behave yourself.." "Or should I call Neil?" "O.. how I hate you." "Shabbo!" "Aadab..(Hello)" "A warm aadab from Shabnam to one and all." "Shabnam ji.. there's no sound.." "There's no sound.." "Shabbo baby, turn on the mike." "Rules!" "Ok." "One two, one-two!" "Aadab Shabbho Aunty!" "Aadab!" "Naughty Boy!" "Uncle gimme a break it's Friday night.." "Just chill for tonight.." "My entire staff has gone home.." "It's an advanced booking.." "I can't send the fridge now.." "..don't you get it!" "I promise first thing tomorrow morning.." "Just bugger off!" "The swearing.." "Shabnam ji.." "This year we've organized a very exciting prize.." "..for the winning couple.." "One week's paid holiday.." "Guess where?" "Jallandhar!" "No!" "Amratsar!" "No!" ".." "Seven days in Hollywood!" "Oh my god!" "Who, where, what.." "This Anaida's stunning." "My my my.." "That Steve's a real hunk." "Really?" "Nah" "Hold my hand." "Not my elbow, my hand.." "I can't stand it anymore." "Give me patience." "I've given all I had.." "I don't have any left." "Let's go.." "But why there.. exit's that way." "To dance, Steve.." "Where did they go?" "Enough talking.." "Now let's do some dancing!" "Round one!" "Sway this way this sway this way sway this way this sway.." "Sway this way this sway this way sway this way this sway.." "Come on explode" "Let the deuces run wild" "Lose the jack of spades" "You're the king of the pile" "Come on explode" "Let the deuces run wild" "Lose the jack of spades" "You're the king of the pile" "Come on explode" "Let the deuces run wild" "Lose the jack of spades" "You're the king of the pile" "With wild abandon c'mon let's sway" "With wild abandon c'mon let's sway" "Blow the horn get down" "Beat the drum swing around lf she shakes her booty" "You shake this joint to the ground" "Lock lips, spin around" "Sway this way right off the ground" "Sway this way this sway this way sway this way this sway.." "Sway this way this sway this way sway this way this sway.." "It's wicked here" "Love is deceit till you kick it here" "We lick it here" "Four hearts hunt each other till they nick it here" "The stakes are high, the odds loaded" "The wager's wild, the bet's corroded" "Blow the horn get down" "Beat the drum swing around lf she shakes her booty" "You shake this joint to the ground" "Lock lips, spin around" "Sway this way right off the ground" "Sway this way this sway this way sway this way this sway.." "Sway this way this sway this way sway this way this sway.." "You guys were only going to drop by.." "Oh he got stuck that we couldn't leave till we've danced.." "And he's still stuck.." "Boss, we haven't been introduced.." "Meself Rikki." "Sat.. teeeve!" "Sat'teeeve?" "Anaida!" "Alvira!" "So Sat'teeve.." "How goes with British Railways?" "Mum says buying tickets everyday burns a hole in the pocket." "So she bought me a monthly pass.." "Sat'eeve buddy the day you buy a monthly pass, I'll buy a private jet.." "Stop kidding.." "For how many millions did you settle the case?" "Look who's talking millions.." "You can't even spend ten pounds.." "Didn't even buy an engagement ring for Anaida?" "Rikki bought me a ring.. but too big for my finger.. so.." "I wear it here.." "Ouch.." "Mum says if you pierce your bellybutton it hurts like hell." "No monsieur.. go on put it back.." "no hurt, no pain.." "How much she loves me.." "Keeps the ring so close to her twenty-four-seven." "Close?" "Your fiance is flirting with mine.." "..aren't you going to do something about it?" "No, I will do something.." "Keep your hands off her Steve you swine.." "Swearing is bad!" "Why are you shouting at Steve?" "So who should I shout at?" "Mind your Anaida.." "She hasn't done anything.." "What's Steve done?" "He touched her." "Why did she let him?" " He's a letch." "And she.." "she's a.." "I'm a.. what?" "Round two!" "Tension's rising!" "It's getting hot in here!" "O I'm sweatin'!" "And now only 20 couples left to Jhoom!" "Sway this way this sway this way sway this way this sway.." "Sway this way this sway this way sway this way this sway.." "Spinnin' around" "The wheel of night's winnin' a round" "Roll the dice" "Place a wager, bet the moon, raise the price" "Purse strings have untied" "They're staking' diamonds on the side" "Blow the horn get down" "Beat the drum swing around lf she shakes her booty" "You shake this joint to the ground" "Lock lips, spin around" "Sway this way right off the ground" "Sway this way this sway this way sway this way this sway.." "Sway this way this sway this way sway this way this sway.." "Sway this way this sway this way sway this way this sway.." "Sway this way this sway this way sway this way this sway.." "Sway this way this sway this way sway this way this sway.." "It's the final round at Jharokha so keep your turbans tight.." "..and your pyjamas high." "The Moulin Rouge of Punjab brings you two couples.." "..it's Number 77 and Number 99!" "Didn't say it in front of Rikki because he'd feel bad.." "..must say you have a loose character.." "And you have a loose screw.." "Lousy lipstick, cheap joke." "Joke?" "I'm dead serious.." "You'll ruin Rikki.. he's Indian, you're Pakistani.." "He's a cool dude, and you.." "..home-breaker, man-chaser.." "and you don't even know Hindi." "I know Hindi.. kamini. (Hindi abuse) ls that all.." "..sister.." "Don't you dare insult my sister.." "Sister's.." "Allah, give me patience.." "Don't mind but this Alvira isn't really your type.." "You've got a rocking personality and she's so drab with tattoos and all.." "Alvira even showed me her tattoo.." "Keep your cool.." "Final round, focus, final round.." "I'm telling you as a friend.." "..you and Alvira don't really make a pair.." "..But you keep your cool, focus." "You're trying to break my team.." "so that I don't win.." "Ninety nine.." "Next Mr. Southall.." "Simmer down darlings.." "I'm coming." "You can't break my team.. and you will never win the title." "I tried everything but nothing works on that idiot." "If I was Anaida I'd have dumped him" "Thing is Laila ji.." "..that Sat'eeve's won the real game.." "We'll go from here with our pride intact." "No matter what, don't let them win the title." "That witch should not be crowned Ms. Southall.. get it?" "Why are you always shitting bricks?" "We'll screw them!" "If they win I'll kill you!" "I hate you!" "Let's rock!" "Let's go!" "Round Three!" "The market square's now a ring to a dare, between the blades of our eyes" "Do we lose limb, life or reach for the knife.." "..in this clash of our two-edged eyes" "We've slipped the rings off the lobes of the moon" "Come tap, slap, clap with your hands" "We've slipped the rings off the lobes of the moon" "Come tap, slap, clap with your hands" "My amore, come clap with your hands" "My amore, come clap with your hands" "Let's crush a moonbeam" "Let's burgle the day" "Blow smoke rings blue and sway baby sway" "Sway this way this sway this way sway this way this sway.." "Sway this way this sway this way sway this way this sway.." "Sway this way this sway this way sway this way this sway.." "Don't wager on this slippery night, it'll slither out of your fingers" "Come on now.." "This lathered moon seems slippery too, it'll dissolve until it lingers" "Come on now.." "You're the reason for my breath" "For you I'd welcome death" "My amore, Come clap with your hands" "O you're a wonder, you're the thunder" "Then and now, above and under" "My amore, Come clap with your hands" "We'll spend the darkness here somewhere, a chat.." "..a chillum, a tale we'll share" "Blow smoke rings blue and sway baby sway" "Sway this way this sway this way sway this way this sway.." "Sway this way this sway this way sway this way this sway.." "Sway this way this sway this way sway this way this sway.." "Sway this way this sway this way sway this way this sway.." "The silly, the simple, the pure of heart.." "..are the finer souls, the ones with worth" "The ones who never live for love, are dead well before their birth" "Listen one and listen all" "Your love I raise, in love I fall" "Listen one and listen all" "Your love I raise, in love I fall" "My amore, Come clap with your hands" "My amore, Come clap with your hands" "Fresh baked bread in a honey dip soak" "Taste of sugar sweet lips that spoke" "Scorch up the ember and sway baby sway" "Sway this way this sway this way sway this way this sway.." "Sway this way this sway this way sway this way this sway.." "Sway this way this sway this way sway this way this sway.." "Sway this way this sway this way sway this way this sway.." "The market square's now a ring to a dare, between the blades of our eyes" "Do we lose limb, life or reach for the knife.." "..in this clash of our two-edged eyes" "Let's crush a moonbeam" "Let's burgle the day" "Let's crush a moonbeam" "Let's burgle the day" "Blow smoke rings blue and sway baby sway" "We'll spend the darkness here somewhere.." "..a chat, a chillum, a tale we'll share" "Blow smoke rings blue and sway baby sway" "Fresh baked bread in a honey dip soak" "Taste of sugar sweet lips that spoke" "Scorch up the ember and sway baby sway" "Our eyes they fly like kites up high" "The threads of our gazes collide" "Drink the dew, that heady brew.." "Sway this way this sway this way sway this way this sway.." "Sway this way this sway this way sway this way this sway.." "Sway this way this sway this way sway this way this sway.." "And the winner is our own Bhatinda boy Rikki and.." "..his little lady-finger Anaida!" "I'm sure we've been cheated." "And now I declare Mr. and Miss Southall!" "I didn't even win the title." "I hate you.." "You love him that much?" "No point shedding tears for him." "Mum always says your destiny decides who you get." "Got it." "Listen, I'm really sorry, I.." "Aapi, guess who's been waiting for you?" "!" "Shahriyar Bhai.. he's downstairs.." "Shahriyar bloody Bhai." "Rikki bloody Thukral!" "I hate them all." "Damn them!" "Rikki Thukral?" "Huffy Bhai.." "What the hell.." "Why does Huffy Bhai go for a walk every morning?" "He'll have a heart attack some day.." "Coming.." "Oh Steve.." "Steve!" "What do you want?" "Cuppa tea." "Why should I give you a cup of tea?" "You just asked me what I want." "Rikki.." "Get down here you .." "..sneaked off without paying up last night." "What're you doing here?" "C'mon now pay up." "Look he's going to pay me.." "that should prove everything." "Prove what?" "That I'm a prostitute." "I know why you keep calling yourself a prostitute.." "..so I don't feel guilty." "Guilty?" "Last night.." "..I and she.." "she and I.." "..both of us.." "You had sex?" "!" "Go ahead kill me if you want.." "..but before you do, please forgive me." "Don't you hit him." "Alvira's mad about him.." "..you two-timing bastard!" "I cheated you and you're worried about Alvira?" "Thank god we got to know the real you before marriage" "There's nothing between the two of us.." "Tell him." "Look I'm Laila.. not Anaida.." "Prostitute.. not fiance." "There's nothing going on between me and this swine.." "Out with the money!" "I love you." "Screw love.." "I really love you." "Goddamit I'm a prostitute!" "I still love you Laila.." "You're not lying?" "I never lie." "Never." "Son of a.." "Son of a.. what?" "Loving mother!" "Look at him ..here's a real man.." "Laila's man.." "He's a fraud.. what about Alvira?" "!" "Don't ever call me a fraud.." "Look here.. fake Steve.." "I'm Satvinder, hundred percent genuine.." "And Alvira.. doesn't she love you?" "She loves him. I hate her.." "I hate her.." "What?" "Darling he's saying she loves you." "He's saying that she loves you.." "No point wracking your brain now.." "Someone else will catch the butterfly.." "..and you'll be left rubbing your chest." "Scram my boy!" "Don't know where she lives." "You're still wondering where she lives, just look at him.." "Hey Satvinder.." "Take a breather guys.." "You know where Alvira lives..?" "Satvinder!" "I hate you!" "Let's go.." "Kulwinder.. isn't that your boy?" " No.." " Looks like him.." "My Satti's not a bum.." "He works overtime every night.." "so his Mum can play bingo.." "Weigh the cabbage.." "You've gone blind." "That one." "No wait.." "That one." "O boy.." "Sattu.." "Think.." "It's a matter of my life and your death!" "Where's it gone?" "It was here.." "That one.." "This side.." "That side?" ".." "It's this one!" "Where did he go?" "This is the one.." "Telescope yours innit?" "Yeah.. why?" "Come on sonny I'll show you some stars." " Sorry!" " Focus, focus!" "Are you going to meet Bhai like that?" "!" "Oh my God I'm not even dressed, I'm naked.." "Hi." "Come let's get over with it." "Nice room.." "Didn't go to work today?" "It's a Sunday.." "Oh I thought you took leave to meet me.." "You thought wrong.." "A phone number.." "Rikki Thukral?" "Important?" "What's this guy discussing?" "Discussion.." "We should listen." "Video audio both.. very strong mike.." "So Mum said why don't you and Alvira get married.." "I said not a bad idea.." "Let's not beat around the bush.." "Just ask what you want." "They're talking about marriage." "I'm in no hurry.." "I am.." "I'll start.." "First. I've already had sex." "Eleven times." "She lies with such confidence.." "Say something." "I've had sex only four times.." "you beat me there.." "So.. what you gonna do?" "I'll feel jealous what else.." "That's it?" "That's it?" "I have a tattoo.. here.." "That's nice.." "Just like mine." " l have many male friends." " So do I." "I hate salwar suits." "Even if I wear them?" "What planet is this guy from?" "You're the limit. I've told you all my vices and you still don't hate me?" "I haven't come here to hate you." "Hate me!" ".." "I don't want you to like you." "I want everybody to hate each other.." "But why?" "Because I love Rikki Thukral." "Yessss!" "Rikki Thukral?" "You love somebody with such a weird name?" "Weird?" "I like Rikki." "It's weird.." "How long have you loved him?" "For years?" "Since day before yesterday.." "Don't let him touch you!" "Rikki Thukral!" "?" "Rikki?" "No, he's my cousin, Shahriyar.." "Really?" "I'm here to marry her." "Shut up!" "You.. meet me downstairs, I have to talk to you.." "Yeah alright. I'm not afraid." "I got class!" "Alvira, that Thukral isn't your type.." "What does he do?" "Nothing.. and yet everything.." "Look I've got an MA, M Tech, Phd, everything!" "Congratulations." "Allo you look happy." "All sorted with Shahriyar?" "Yes all sorted.. we're not getting married." "Where will we find a better match than Shahriyar?" "He's standing outside.." "What?" "So where's your Ms. Southall?" "Ran away with Satvinder." "He told you everything?" "I'll kill him." "Let him be.." "..his life's in Laila's hands.." "Who's Laila?" "The one who came last night as Anaida.." "She's made a man out of Sattu." "Oh Satti when did this happen?" "!" "Isn't she the one who picks up men at night?" "Mum.. this is Laila.." "Not a very good cook.." "..can't keep the house clean.." "..has a swearing problem.." "she's working on that.." "..but she'll make a top class daughter-in-law.." "That much I can guarantee.." "Pairi paunnna Mum ji?" "(Greetings) I love you.." ".. and I'm damn sure you'll fall in love with her too Mum." "But Satti.." "No buts Mum.." "We'll be back from Hollywood in a week.." "Bye Mum!" "So you lied to me?" "Nothing compared to your lie.." "Should I tell you the truth.." "..you look incredible when you lie.." "I'll.." "You idiot what took you so long, if I'd said yes to Shahriyar.." "You're amazing.." "One small hitch and you go running to marry next available man." "Typical Indian mentality." "I'm not lndian.." "You're Pakistani.. same thing." "If you say one more word against Pakistanis.." "Why would I say anything against Pakistanis..?" "Even my best friend.." "..my girlfriend is a Pakistani." "Good.. otherwise all the neighbours will come out.." "..and forced you to marry me." "So let them. I'm not scared." "Before they can force me I'll marry you myself." "Why?" "Because in two hours we spent our entire lives together." "Even then.. no war." "No war?" "!" "No chance." "Really?" "If not war.. then what happened?" "That which happens.." "Love." "Just happens.." "..after spending two hours with somebody." "How many other girls have you spent two hours with?" "Eleven?" "You creep." "C'mon game.." "One thing that neither of us have never done.." "What?" "In broad-day-light.. in front of everybody.. a kiss.." "A long kiss.." "Ok." "Who cares for that syrupy sweet mush.." "Eternal promises and sentimental gush.." "Sparks, clash, passionate flash.." "Love of today, that's the way to sway!" "What's your sun-sign?" "Listen.." "I'm already engaged.." "You're flirting.." "Why should I flirt?" "I too am engaged.." "See.. original topaz.." "Does she even have a name or you just call her fiance'?" "No she's nameless.." "What kind of question is that?" "So what is it?" "Anaida.." "Your turn.. tell me.." "How did you meet your fiance?" "Superman brought us together." "He sells comics?" "O Rabba come unravel the mystic knots of love" "Find no gain or loss within the priceless knots of love" "You're ablaze ablaze ablaze, the spark of love's a raging fire" "Our eyes they fly like kites up high" "The threads of our gazes collide" "Drink the dew, that heady brew 'n jus' sway baby sway" "Sway this way this sway this way Sway this way this way" "Sway this way this sway this way Sway this way this way" "Sway this way this sway this way Sway this way this way" "Rabba.."