"Hello" " K!" "Baba!" "Where are you?" "Here..." "Curfew!" " What?" "No idea." "I'm on TV!" " On TV..." "On what channel?" "I don't know, some strange language written here like on a bottle of Vodka..." "Vodka?" "Vodka?" "My throat's parched cigarette... cigarette you still smoking!" "I need a cigarette!" " I'll call you later..." "K!" "Cigarette!" "Cigarette!" "Bastard..." "Matches..." "K..." "Open the door K... open up!" "K..." "Ya..." " K... open the door..." "Ya..." "K?" " You alright?" "At least say something?" "Yeah!" "Hold on!" "Come out fast." "We are expecting guests anytime." "My dream..." "What does it mean?" "You're soooo!" "addicted to nicotine!" "You fear the day when you won't get a Cigarette!" "But what's that bathtub doing in the middle of the snow!" "I don't Know?" "Next time try jumping in the bathtub, instead!" "It might lead you somewhere else?" "The mirror will fall apart K..." "Why the hell do you smoke in the Bathroom!" "Why the hell do you sleep in the bedroom!" "What's wrong now?" "Nothing..." "Went to Siberia again?" "It's all because of those cigarettes..." "You will soon have the visa too..." "Please... don't blow smoke in here..." "Why don't you go get dressed," "The guests should be here soon..." "Nobody tells me what to do," "Nobody tells me what to do," "Nobody tells me what to do..." "When some nut decides to clamber up mount everest the world stands up to cheer him..." "What if he's doing it for the first time his rope could snap..." "He could get buried under a mound of snow..." "The world knows he... he could bloody die but they still put him on the front page..." "Hundreds die in accidents every day but we're still driving!" "Automobiles should be outlawed petrol should be banned why ban cigarettes alone because this tiny little innocuous white thing can't speak for itself..." "Have you ever seen him smoke?" "In the kitchen..." " The bathroom..." "The bedroom..." " In the bloody bed..." "There are more ashtrays in this house than spoons..." "That's it..." " That's not it?" "Even Vikas used to smoke..." "I made him quit there's this Shaman doctor baba Bengali..." "But that isn't the only reason..." " So what else?" "Religious differences..." "He thinks he's God." "I think he's..." "Bad!" "Huh!" " Really Bad!" "My brother..." "He's Asthmatic!" " Not me!" "I heard he's in a hospital..." "They've removed his right lung it was infected..." "And K still smokes around everyone..." "Search me..." "My parents divorced six months into their marriage..." "You're kidding me..." "And then I arrived so they remarried... two years into their second marriage my dad found out that I was born a year after the divorce so they divorced again..." "That sucks, dude!" "So when was your brother born?" "In the second coming or..." "After the second divorce..." "So he's not exactly your blood brother?" "He is..." "How..." " See..." "They married..." "Then divorced..." "Then they had you..." "Married again..." "Divorced again..." "Then they had him which means he can't be your real brother..." "Have you told him you want to leave him..." "Not yet..." "Does he know you want to leave him?" "If he was that sensitive..." "Why would I leave him?" "Hi..." "Hi..." " Lets go..." "Want to smoke, go outside" "Its totally wrong." "Actually they should bloody close down all the non smoking restaurants." "My self R. K. Dhingra." "Rajinder Kumar Dhingra." "You don't talk too much," "You seem to be the thinking type." "Even I think a lot..." "Before you came that's what I was doing, thinking..." "Wondering, why do people need to talk so much?" "K-Abbas!" " Hi!" "What are you doing standing out here?" "Smoking!" "Brother!" "Want one?" "No way" " No I won't..." "Cut the crap man here..." "No!" "No!" "K!" "I swear I quit." "Trust me, so should you." "Don't be my wife, God knows where you disappear!" "Been ages since I saw you..." " Come on, lets share one!" "No!" "K!" "I'm not gonna smoke!" " Come On!" "Just a puff!" " No!" "K!" "No!" " I Don't..." "K!" " What's wrong." "Take a drag my friend..." "Nothing's gonna blow except the smoke..." "Look sir!" "Why don't you mind your own business!" "Your friend is offering you a drag..." "You shouldn't refuse him..." "Is he your friend?" "Who is this guy?" "Friendships don't blossom in a single meeting." "My friend... takes time..." " Just shut up." "Sir, it takes ages!" "Shut up." "Why don't you go somewhere else?" " Please!" "Idiot man!" " Abbas!" "Hi!" " Oh!" "Hi Anjali." "How are you?" " Hi!" "How are you?" " I'm good" "Why are you wearing those gloves..." "Oh, just like that." "I lost my fingers in an accident." "What!" "What nonsense are you talking!" "Why didn't you tell me?" "It's nothing much!" "Really" "Oh my God!" "And what's that you've got in your ears?" "Just..." "I've a bit of a hearing problem." "You quit smoking?" "Yeah, I have quit." "Very good." "What very good!" "He's gonna smoke right now!" "Here..." "K stop it!" "K!" "C'mon, all I'm asking you for is a drag man!" "One drag!" "For my sake!" "Or she'll hound me to death with it..." "K!" "I have said NO!" "That's it!" "I won't smoke." "K!" " K!" "I won't smoke!" "K!" " Don't force him!" " Stop it!" "Go inside!" "I said GO in!" "Come now!" "Quickly!" "Take a drag..." "Otherwise I'll shove it in you!" " K!" "Stop it!" "K!" " Stop it!" "K!" "If I say you will!" "You will!" " K!" "I won't!" "That's it!" "I love my wife!" "Ok!" "Did somebody take an appointment for you?" " Yes." "I saw what they did with your mother." "Why didn't you tell me?" "How will they know if I smoke?" "Don't repeat a mistake like this." "Do whatever you feel like, but don't do a mistake like this again." "Sir, if I was in his place I wouldn't push you away like that." "And keep your mouth shut!" "You do what you're doing!" "You Asshole!" "What'll you do, huh." "You're mistaken." "I'm not that kind of a guy." "I..." "You're a big asshole kind of a guy..." "Sir..." "You..." "You..." "And you talk too much!" "Sir, You're" "Shut up!" "Shut up!" "I know K can be an asshole sometimes" "Most of the times" " Yeah" "Why do you want to know Anjali?" "Abbas tell me!" "K's not gonna quit!" "Ok..." "If you really want Him to quit smoking then." "Take this..." "The Laboratory." "Their visiting card!" " It's a Rehabilitation program." "Ok" " They are professionals!" "You don't feel the urge at all?" "No." "Never." "Thanks." "Anjali, I'm actually meeting someone." "I'll go now." " Yeah." "Thanks." "Bye." "Thanks." "Why don't you quit smoking?" "I have quit a hundred times..." "That's not what you call quitting..." "Then what do you call quitting?" "Like my dad and mum quitting on each other?" "I don't quit!" "Quitters are those who can't see it through to the end!" "What if you start hating it?" ""Shut up, just shut up..."" "Anjali..." "Yes..." "You're asleep?" "Yes..." "Are you still upset turn this side" "Not now K..." "Come on..." "K!" "Come on..." "K!" " Sorry" "Can I sleep now..." "Okay." "Sleep." "Hi..." "I'm K..." "Just K..." "What's this?" "They're taking them to the concentration camp and killing them..." "This card..." "It says Kalkatta carpets..." "I got that from Abbas but you won't need it..." "Is it his business card?" "Selling carpets these days...?" "It's a Rehabilitation program." "People don't have any other better work to do." "They helped Abbas kick the habit..." "He taught you to smoke right?" "No one taught me to smoke." "No one taught me anything." "I smoke." "And that's it." "The first time, Abbas gave me a cigarette," "I took the matches out from my own pocket..." "Watch your TV" "Anjali..." "Yes..." " Breakfast?" "Yes sir..." "I am sorry I forgot what do you want for our anniversary?" "Divorce..." "I don't have that Kind of a budget..." ""When the moon hits your eyes..."" ""Like a big piece of fire..."" ""When the world..."" "I am not being childish." "Its not my fault if I look like a girl," "I am 28 for god sake..." "I have made up my mind..." "I will call you later, bye..." "Inky pinky ponkey." "Father had a donkey" "Donkey died father cried" "Inky pinky" "Ponkey..." "Sorry K..." "Take him to some higher altitude..." "Get him to do some yoga" "Some breathing exercises" "You smoke too much..." "It's not good for your brother." "Anyways its your choice" "I'll save you the lecture" "Good..." "Why do you always wear these dark glasses" "Why do you always wear those hearing aids?" "There's this company." "Agency" "Rehabilitation program..." "The Laboratory!" "Hey!" "You're aware then..." "I wasn't aware... remember we used to smoke together..." "And you quit after your defining deafness..." "Why don't you try it..." "It's a 100% smoke proof program" "Cigarette... alcohol... allergies, addictions, itches, ringworms, weaknesses," "Baba Bengali has a cure for them all..." "Just go check it out after that it's up to you..." "I'll think about it..." "Don't think, just tell me I will take an appointment for you..." "When can I take my brother?" "Not yet..." " Then when?" "When everything's alright" "Will you go?" " To where?" "To the Laboratory." "Do inform me, just call..." "Call me..." " And do tell me" "If you want to go to The Laboratory..." "Please call..." " Thank you..." "Please..." "Good morning, sir." "Will you please stop smoking?" "Take the stairs" "What!" "Thank you." "Stupid..." "Idiot..." "Morning sir..." "Good morning, sir." "One minute..." "Where's Annie?" "She'd called in to say that she won't be coming to work today..." ""Take me away from here..."" ""I am a fool to be in love with you..."" ""You fill my lungs with the pails of your smoke..."" ""A victim of your..."" ""Don't you forget..."" ""..." "It's just a cigarette..."" ""Oh, it's just a cigarette..."" "Anjali..." "Anjali..." "Hello..." " Where are you?" "Home..." "You are not home where are you?" " I'm at home" "My Home!" "Your home is where I am..." "That's your home K..." "Do what you want, smoke your cigarettes, burn the mattresses turn the whole damn house into one big ashtray do whatever the fuck you want there..." "You're leaving me..." "I've left you..." "How can you leave me..." "Nobody leaves me" "I am nobody K that's why I've left you." "Just a sec!" " Excuse me." "Don't you crave for it whenever someone lights up?" "No K!" "just check it out for once man!" "Even I'd gone to just see the place!" "Came out kicking the habit" "Do I have to take an appointment?" "Tell me..." "I'll take an appointment for you..." "When do you want to go?" "Right now." "Right now?" " To treat." "Great!" "You know the place..." "I have the card" "K!" "You're doing the right thing ok..." "I'll inform them right away- bye." "Hello." "Welcome to The Laboratory." "How can I help you?" "Listen this is Abbas Tyrewala speaking..." "I want to send you another patient" "Abbas what?" "Tyrewala" " Yes sir..." "His name is but before that, what about my finger?" "Well..." "I guess you haven't read your contract properly as soon as your referred patient signs his contract you'll get your cut-back" "No..." "No..." "No... its ok" "Write down your tracking number" "Please hold for a minute..." "Hey waiter!" "Come here!" "..." "Take the Call." " He's going!" "Hello!" "I'm going to quit..." "I swear..." "Please come back..." "Come back." "I'm trying really hard..." "Hmm..." " What Hmmmm..." "Hmmmm OK..." "You're coming?" " Are you going?" "I'm going" " Then I'm coming" "Thanks..." "No change" "Don't worry." "I've change" "So" " Keep it." "You are going to need it..." "Where is the laboratory?" "There." "Hey uncle" "You sell oil?" "Carpets?" "What is this?" "Where's The Laboratory?" "Wonderful." "What?" "What you are looking for." "Down there?" "If you don't want to go, I'll shut it." "One second." "Where's this Laboratory?" "Below..." "Ma'am!" "Where's the Laboratory?" "Down there..." "Thank you." "Where's the Laboratory?" "Down There" "Is there another level below it or does it ends here?" "Go down further..." "Why couldn't they get the bloody elevators..." "Hey." "This way or that way..." "That way." "Hello" " Where's this Laboratory?" "Welcome" "No!" " The Laboratory?" "Mr. Abbas must have sent you!" "Mind blowing!" "Follow me" "Come" "Who were those people?" "Hello!" "I'm asking you?" "Greetings" "Guruji sits there." "Guruji might be sitting there but who were those people staring at me?" "Nothing is made on one level here?" "Greetings!" "Please come." "Have a Seat..." "What's going on inside?" "Sit" "Who's this Guruji?" "Shri!" "Shri!" "Shri!" "Greater than the Great..." "Baba Bengali!" "From Sialdah!" "He is coming!" " You please wait!" "Prologue please..." "I... my name is K..." "And you feel the need to relinquish the cigarette..." "Yes..." "Consider it done..." "Actually just came to check it out..." "Whoever steps in here not only stubs his addiction ...but completely buries it my son cigarettes, bidis, paan, tobacco..." "Baba Bengali can cure you of them all." "How do you make them quit" "Point a gun to the head!" "Bandits and Kidnappers need weapons," "I don't." "Chaurasiya!" " Yes sir." "Didn't you show the noble man our contract..." "Not yet..." "Standing here won't make you any taller!" "Please!" "Show him the contract." "Yes, sir." "Do I have to read all this?" "Yes!" "If Hindi is going to be a problem." "We have the same in English too." "Guide for dummies!" "It's rather thick!" "If you feel the compulsion to read an abridged version ...we have that too!" "Our very own..." "Pocket Edition" "Please show him..." " Yes sir." "Please read..." "I hereby agree to do whatever" "I am asked to do in order to successfully quit smoking..." "I am getting into this program knowingly exactly the risk my smoking ...will pose to me and my family." "Thanks." "K!" "Meaning you'll do exactly as we tell you to do." "But what will you tell me to do?" "First you'll have to sign." "Then I'll let you know!" "What if I sign these papers and you put a gun on me... then." "Sir!" "Kindly sign it." "Why do you want to invite trouble?" "And what if I don't?" "Hey!" "What's happening?" "What's happening?" "Leave me!" "Leave me!" "What are you doing!" "Leave!" " Leave me!" "Where are you taking me?" "Leave me!" "Let me go." "Hey fatso..." "I am talking to you..." "Leave me!" "What're you doing?" "Let me go..." "You don't know who I am..." "Leave me!" "Hey!" "Let me go..." "Welcome to the first stage of ...our Quit Smoking Programme..." "K" "Wake up..." "Wake up my son..." "In this lab its our responsibility that your habit of smoking, which is making you irresponsible finish that off completely." "If we fail to deliver and are unsuccessful in treating you, ...then we have no option left, ...but to send you down the road no sane person would walk on..." "Would anybody like?" "No..." "Because my son, soul-full the body is divine... soul-less its dead" "The end..." "Soul..." "The inner soul is often frivolous, debauch, indulgent... but with a strong mind you can control it but if you are inherently weak then my son the wandering soul has to be released, let go..." "The soul is pure," "When life comes into being then slowly, bit by bit it starts to erode the body corrupts it, by indulging it and to rebuild that lost eroded soul is why I have been appointed..." "By whom?" "By The Greater than the Greatest!" "Gurudev Baba Bengali!" "But!" " Don't Argue!" "Democracy is up above the ground you walk on!" "you die on!" "You can "butt" into anything with your butt's, up there..." "But here you have descended from your material hell into my lower depths..." "Here my spoken word is the gospel of the gods..." "Now that you've signed on the contract would you care to repeat the honours..." "This is my cheque book!" "Yes sir." "21 lakhs 11 thousand 1 hundred and 10!" "Fees for your own treatment!" "2.1 million." "21 lakhs 11 thousand 1 hundred and 10" "And an additional one rupee... which is my fee" "But that we take in cash" "The fees for making me quit smoking is 21 LAKH!" "21 lakhs 11 thousand 1 hundred and 10" "It's back-breaking work, you know." "You think I'm crazy?" "You think I earn my money only to dole it out as charity 21 Lakh!" "Repeating it again  again won't make it 20 it will stay 21 only..." "If a poor man comes to you for help you charge him 21 lakhs too?" "The "Poor" qualifies for a government subsidy" "This is robbery, you understand!" "See, my fee is just a measly buck" "That too a token of your appreciation" "I haven't started this business for money." "Its all for charity" "And just you watch!" "The money you've parted with will be utilized in your own treatment" "Do you know that how much of your money you've squandered away due to this bloody habit..." "Yes... my lord..." "K..." "K!" "K!" "Touch of violence please!" "Ok my lord..." "The first time Abbas stuck a cigarette between ...your fingers just so you could look at it you procured the matches from your own pocket a matchbox back then set you back by 50 paise all the gas you burnt up commuting to and from the cigarette shop the mouth freshener that you purchased" "...to hide the stench from your father then you graduated to pot and once after smoking some spurious weed ...you nearly went up in smoke yourself!" "A mere visit to the hospital cost you ...1,50,000 to aspirate the sludge from your stomach every ashtray... matchbox, lighter, bidi and those fat ones" "Cigars." "Every wheeze, sputter and cough caused by smoking every spoonful of glycodine, phensydyl ...every pill strepsil, Erithromycin, Augmentin every illness brought on by this habit of yours all those occasions when your partner requested you to butt your cigarette out but you suspended the meeting and strode out to finish your smoke the losses you incurred because of that!" "Your wife's illness." "You bear a thirty percent stake in your brother's asthma trouble a silk Chinese tie estimated at forty thousand burnt mattresses set afire on four disparate occasions all because of a lit cigarette" "Now excluding the millions in losses you have spent a total of" "43 lakhs 88 thousand 5 hundred 56 rupees and 75 paise" "If you don't step on the brakes now you'll be spending ...as much more in the next seven years" "To help you shake off the yoke of this burden the treatment is in your hands" "Give him a pen" " Yes sir" "43 lakh or 21 lakh." "And what if I don't sign it?" "If you don't do it now then you have to do it later" "What if I don't do it?" "Answer to your what is a complicated process ...my son... you can't expect me to be prompt." "I am going" " Guruji..." "But you have signed a contract" "I haven't!" "You forced me to!" "Do you know who I am?" "Why K?" "Where K?" "That I don't know." "But who K!" "That I surely do know!" "I am going." "Your wish, I treat patient's and not torment them." "What's the way out from here?" "That's why I keep repeating son," "Sign on it and..." "All the doors will open up for you." "Otherwise I will be forced to do what I don't want to do." "The only problem with such a quick second trip to that black hole is you may not last the third." "That's why just sign for now" "You can stop payment later" "Did you sign?" "Give him a pen, please!" "Now my one rupee please which I take in cash?" "..." "Don't have it" "Ok." "Next time." "Does it look like I'm coming back?" "It's good if you don't come!" "But son, everyone comes back." "In my experience each one returns..." "Unfortunately smoking is such a pathetic habit..." "Now come over here..." "You come here!" "Come on son." "Your treatment has begun." "Come" "And if I don't?" "If you don't come?" "Then how will you go?" "From this moment onward you will not smoke..." "Not even going to touch it..." "And if you do then for the first one that you light we'll have your brother pay us a little visit from his hospital bed do you know what this is?" "Once upon a time lived a man called Hitler..." "He had a teeny weenie moustache like that Charlie of Chaplin..." "See that." "My good friend," "Hitler" "This was his stroke of genius the Gas Chamber" "And the lady there, she is your doctor's mother and the smoke its the cigarette smoke all the thousands of cigarettes you must have smoked up until now all that smoke in this little room for your brother to breathe in for all of five minutes." "Enough to make the healthiest of lungs burst and I believe your brother is just one lung-ed." "And if your resolve still doesn't hold up and you light up again!" "Please sir, just listen to me, I swear" "I swear to god almighty I'll never" "He scripts with just one finger now" "Salam Namaste, M.B.B.S." "Listen Maqbool, I am there for you." "And if you light a third one son before you smoke it make sure you take one last long loving look at your wife because in all likelihood you'll never see her again and if your itch drives you to light up a fourth time then it's the gas chamber for your brother if he survives the last onslaught and if he doesn't then your mother... remember to give her a warm farewell hug before you light that one and despite all of the above if you still intend to be as obstinate as a mule." "Then the mightiest of kings have been rendered helpless before the stubbornness of a child." "Smoke the fifth with all the lung power you've got." "No one will get in the way" "No!" "Nope!" "Nobody will stop you" "Because son Soul-Full, the body is divine..." "Soul" " Less, its dead." "You can go to the police station" "You can try to fight us." "You can do whatever you want to but you can't smoke." "Have fun..." "I shall leave now." "Let's go" "You're absolutely insane." "I didn't come here to sign any contract" "I don't want to quit smoking" "What will you do?" "You can't do this to me!" "Come with me" "Where?" "You can't do this to me" "Let's go" "Go where?" " Who are you?" "What's your name?" "This is illegal!" "I can complain about you" "I don't want to quit smoking!" " What will you do?" "If you don't want to come along, can I leave?" "Why are you wearing a veil?" "Show me your face!" "Show me your face!" "Water" "It's time for my prayer" "Have to shut the shop" "Your carpets loaded onto your car." "Here's the bill." "Hello" "I went there..." "Where?" " The Laboratory" "I saw what they did to your mother" "Why didn't you tell me?" "How will they know if I smoke" "Please K. Don't do that." "Whatever you do." "Don't do that." "How the hell will they know?" "How can one watch you 24 hours a day..." "If you don't want to watch your family die before you do, one by one." "Don't touch the damn thing." "Just listen to me, don't touch it." "I won't just touch it I'll frigging suck on one." "What if I go to the police?" "Ok!" "Tell me..." "Did someone take an appointment for you to go to the Laboratory" "Yeah" "I had told you I'll take the appointment for you!" "Had told you!" "I'll get the appointment for you!" "My mother..." "My mum here she..." "I think you're losing it, doctor." "My mother..." ""Blow it up..."" ""Blow it up..."" ""Blow it up..."" ""Blow it up..."" ""Blow it up..."" ""Blow it up..."" ""Blow it up..."" ""Blow it up..."" ""Blow it up..."" ""Blow it up..."" ""Blow it up..."" ""Blow your age up..."" ""Blow it up..."" ""Blow it up in air..."" ""Throw the garment made with breaths..."" ""Blow it up..."" ""Blow it up..."" ""Blow it up..."" ""Blow it up..."" "Didn't I tell you not to do it!" "You'll be fine by tomorrow" "Well, you should be fine by tomorrow..." "I've had this lighter for the last two months" "I had a match." "The ship matches and that too on a ship!" "They slapped me with Prevention Of Terrorism Act." "Served eight months." "What's your name?" "Boss!" "What's your name?" "Ram." "Bring the carpet to the office" "Morning sir" " Good morning" "I've never seen you before" "I've been Working here for the last two months sir" "Where's the driver?" " Sir, he want to the toilet" " What?" " Toilet sir!" "Send him up?" " Right away, sir." "Why do you have shades on?" "Conjunctivitis." "Take them off" "Where the hell is that driver?" "Can't find him" "Will check again  send him up" "Do you have a brother?" "We are nine siblings" "Except for my sister and myself the rest are back home in my village" "Call the bloody driver!" "Sir what has happened?" "What?" " Have I done something wrong?" "Send the driver upstairs!" " Sir!" "And you also come with him" "Yes sir" "...Balram." "Is this a joke?" "What?" "Why're you tailing me?" "Tailing, Sir?" "What's with the shades then?" "Take them off" "Baba Bengali has sent you!" "Hasn't he?" "Baba Bengali?" " Who's that?" "Look here" "I don't like playing the stupid game you're playing..." "I don't dig this merry-go-round of yours one bit" "But what did I do!" "I've just come here for a job" "Sir!" "Any problems?" "Who's this man?" "Ok." "Who are you?" "I came here for an interview got a call from your office" "I was supposed to meet some Mr." "Some A..." "B..." "Some alphabet..." "Sir" "What have you got in your ears?" "Hearing aids" "You seem stressed..." "I'm going crazy" "Oh poor baby!" "I'll find it!" "Find it Sir." "Phone..." "I have to take it" "Hello" " Hello" "What the hell did you get me into?" "You had called?" "You knew." "Rascal." "You lost your fingers, sent me to lose mine what the Hell do you think you're doing!" "What's so funny?" "Nothing buddy!" "I just did" "What they told me to?" "What did they tell you to do?" "Laugh?" "K!" "..." "K!" "..." "Buddy stop it!" "I can't talk" "And you shouldn't talk either..." "That Shri Shri Shri whatever Baba Bengali" "He's a crazed lunatic and he's capable of anything" "You'll pay hell for this!" "I won't let it go so easy!" "K!" "What happened?" "K!" "You alright?" "K" " I'm fine!" "Those were the days my friend when we could smoke whatever, wherever..." "Hmmm..." "And you took mine away, you bastard..." "Remember that day we were smoking in my dad's bathroom and he found us..." "Abbas!" "What are you doing in there?" "Open up!" "Abbas!" "Open the door!" "Abbas!" "Abbas!" "Open the door!" "Abbas!" "Open the door!" "What's he doing?" "Abbas!" "What were you doing?" "Nothing Dad" "Look son" "I know you boys are growing up" "You are curious son... but you know..." "Sex is something..." "Aah... between a man and a woman" "But uncle!" "You shut up!" "We were smoking, dad!" "You were smoking?" "I knew it" "I knew my son could do no wrong." "And my son's friend too!" " Come" "Those were the days, man!" "Great times!" "No one to stop you!" "I'm starting to feel sorry for you..." "What?" "Just look at yourself..." "The Abbas then and the Abbas now..." "You are like a flat tyre." "You've changed post marriage..." ""Stranger..."" "I'm going to smoke..." "What?" "Come what may..." "K, have you lost it?" "Let's see what can he do..." "K!" "Just watch me!" "I'm gonna smoke..." "K!" " K!" "Don't do it K." "Annie!" " What are you doing?" "On the net." "Was about to sleep..." "You have my e-banking password, right?" "Yes." " Log in." "I had issued a cheque today." "Rs.21,11,110." "It has cleared." "In a day!" "It's showing a with drawl." "What happened, Sir?" "Goodnight." "Where are you going, Sir?" "I don't have a clue." "Why are you going, Sir?" "Do you smoke after sex?" "Oh shit..." "I'm sorry." "I never looked." "Do you smoke?" "I sweat!" "Book me on every flight that goes from here to wherever it goes" "From every destination to every destination." "Am I clear?" "What do I do with the other tickets?" "Throw them!" " Ok!" "Thrown them!" "Like from here to here." "And if there are any flights from those destinations to further destinations book me on all of those too..." "From every destination to every destination" "All separate tickets from a destination in separate boxes packed separately!" "For example all the tickets from here go in this box labeled as..." "And there should be a man there waiting for me with the box..." "Am I clear, Annie?" "Meaning?" "I mean that if I don't have a clue where I'm headed there's no way in hell that descendant of Hitler would?" ""Kalkatta Carpets"" "I forbade you, didn't I?" "Where is my brother?" "Let him go!" "Let him go..." "Look at me..." "Let him go..." "Or else..." "Hey fatso... move aside..." "Hey!" "What are you doing?" "Leave my brother..." "Let him go..." "I don't want to go in there!" "Please listen to me!" "I don't want to go in there, dude!" "Please..." "Leave me!" "Leave!" " Leave me!" " Leave!" "Your brother is still breathing..." "Let him go" "You've got to pay for that..." "What price?" "21 Lakh!" "11 thousand 1 hundred and 10!" "Again!" "Penalty" "What is was that?" "Punishment" "And what about my Brother?" "Hello!" "Hello" "K!" "We've found your brother" "He is having trouble breathing." "We've put him on a ventilator..." "How are feeling, J?" "Go Away!" "What's happened to him?" "Lets go" "Lets go" "And don't ever try doing it again..." "I know the little girl..." "Yeah, It happens!" "It happened to me too!" "Lets go!" ""On 1st April 2000, this Ventilator Room was started with the help of Kalkatta Carpets"" ""Inaugurated by the gracious hands of Shri Baba Bengali from Sialdah"" "From today this office is a no smoking zone." "Plaster the whole damn place with "No Smoking" signs." "Get rid of every last ashtray..." "The balcony will be a strict no smoking zone so the lunch area," " So the bathroom, ...not inside nor outside." "And if someone wants to smoke?" "Then he can leave the job..." "But why sir?" "Because I can't smoke" "So you won't let anyone else either?" "Nope!" "Bad sign, I am with you." ""Hey, I want to tell you about this thing..."" ""This stick called the cigarette..."" ""Yes, it is a thirst..."" ""It is a thirst..."" ""No reason to burn"" ""It is a thirst..."" ""The evening's bled"" ""The evening's bled"" ""In a haze of red"" ""In a haze of red"" ""Every time a cigarette is lit, I burn" Yeah." ""Smoking..."" ""I walk on fire, turn into smoke and yearn"" ""Every time a cigarette is lit, I burn"" ""Hear someone scratch"" ""A lonely match"" ""Hear someone scratch"" ""A lonely match"" ""The sky is ablaze"" ""In a twilight daze"" ""Embers inside me churn"" ""I turn into smoke and slowly burn"" ""Threads of smoke"" ""Threads of smoke now stitch my breath"" ""The smoke slowly coils, A snake on the wind"" ""The evening's bled"" ""The evening's bled"" ""In a haze of red"" ""In a haze of red"" ""Smoking..."" ""Smoking it baby..."" ""This pungent smoke I inhale, return"" ""I turn into smoke and slowly burn"" ""Every time a cigarette is lit, I burn"" ""I walk on fire, turn into smoke and yearn"" ""Light a stick baby..."." ""Every time a cigarette is lit, I burn"" ""No smoking..."" "Hello..." "Hey K!" "Yeah!" "Alex?" "Many greetings?" "My love..." "Where are you calling from?" "Mumbai..." " I am back!" "Back with a bang!" "Sorry!" " Bong!" "Smoke?" "I've quit." "Don't joke with me!" "Come On!" "Smoke!" "Nope..." "You are trying to humor me..." "Do I look like I can?" "You've changed!" "But don't worry!" "'Cuz I'm back." "And do you know why I am back?" "Sarah, Why am I back?" "What?" "Sarah, why am I back?" " What?" "Whore!" "Go back to Cuba!" "From Havana." "Import from there..." "Sell it here" "In-fidel." "Castrated!" "In-fidel." "Castrated!" "Back there when I ran away to Sir Castro's beautiful Cuba!" "Once there I booked myself in a room in a three star hotel." ""How lucky can one guy be..."" ""I kissed her, she kissed me..."" "First day, I lay down on my bed." " "Everything all set..."" "The hotel was a three star two of which were shining through my roof..." "I stood up on the bed." "And stuck a finger each in both the holes" "My fingers weren't thick enough" "I looked down." "Saw two cigars in an ashtray" "I picked them up and shoved them into the holes..." "Then I got into the cigar business!" "But soon enough, Smoking was banned!" "What do I do now?" "I was wondering when..." "Sarah said "Let's go to India!"" "But I was lost!" "What would I do in India?" "I swear" "I had no idea my fate matched Newton's" "The cigar from one of the holes fell on my head" "And I thought..." "What I used to do in Cuba..." "Why not do that in India!" "Now every Indian can have the opportunity to blow on a In-fidel... that's castrated..." "With the spelling mistake." "And now ladies and gentleman and friends!" "There is a man" "The man that made me smell my first cigar." " Let's go!" "K!" "Ladies  Gentlemen!" "My dear friend, K!" "Just K!" "K for klinton guys!" "The true blue cigar aficionado!" "Hey K!" " Great!" "Come On!" "Let's have K!" "Come On!" "Come K!" "I'll only unwrap it." "Not light it" "I don't smoke anymore." "Why?" " Why!" "Search me..." "Will only unwrap it." "Hey!" "Come on!" "Let's have it!" "Ladies and gentlemen..." "In-fidel castrated!" "With a correct spelling!" "Here" " Just touch it to your lips!" "No man!" "Don't light it." "Just put it in your mouth." "I'm telling you..." "No!" "Come on!" " K!" "Come on!" "Come On!" "Let's have a smoke!" "What are you doing Alex!" "Come On!" "Let's have a smoke!" "Heh!" "Let's have a smoke!" "Happy birthday to you!" "Happy birthday to you!" "Happy birthday to you!" "I didn't do it!" "Didn't do what?" "I didn't do it!" "Exactly what did you not do?" "Who is speaking?" " What did you not do?" "Who is speaking?" "ACP Birsa Das Gupta." "From your residence." "Your wife called us" "When we got here everything was tossed about the walls are splattered with blood and your wife is missing!" "My wife is with me" "Anjali is right here." "Why would she call you over?" "Are you in the right house?" "Your wife is with you?" "Anjali is with me." "Can I speak to her?" "Sir!" "I am looking for her!" "Anjali!" "Anjali!" "I am coming home" "Relax!" " Relax!" "Mr...?" " K!" "K what?" " Just K" "What happened here?" "That's what we're trying to find out!" "Your wife?" "She's disappeared?" " She was with you?" "Yes, she was with me and now she is not, she is disappeared." "There are too many strange things going on around me, do you know?" "Can I see what is going on, upstairs?" "This is my home, You know!" "You continue." "Do you have anything to say?" "Yes!" "I know who has done it?" " Who?" "Baba Bengali!" "Who Baba Bengali?" "That rascal omnipresent Baba Bengali" "Sewer Rat!" "Hitler's bastard child!" "That genetic mistake who runs The Laboratory!" " Laboratory?" "Why are you smoking a cigar?" "'Cuz I like it!" "Who sent you here?" "What is this Laboratory?" "I'll call him." "Hello." "Welcome to The Laboratory" "How can I help you?" "Get Baba Bengali on the line." "You would be Mr...?" "K... from Bombay..." " Yes sir!" "Greetings!" "Madam was just brought in a while ago..." "She's with Guruji in the Morgue..." "I'll get him on the line" "Guruji!" "Its K" "Yeah K" "Why did you pick Anjali up?" "You're forgetting the rules son..." " What rules?" "I didn't even puff at it..." "Now what qualifies as a puff and what doesn't aren't we the ones to decide that?" "First things first..." " I did not smoke!" "Alex forced that thing into my mouth!" "You shouldn't have gone to the party... and if in your eyes that amounts to smoking it then you should have taken my fingers not my wife when I smoke my third cigarette..." "Your fingers were being held by someone else." "Exactly!" "I was forced to put it in my mouth..." "It was shoved into my mouth!" "But I spat it out before it was lit!" "After it was lit!" "Before it was lit!" " After it was lit" "Subsequent to it being lit!" "Call the third umpire!" "I am the sole umpire in this game" "Be it the first or the second!" "Either way, I'm the one who gets to raise the finger..." "Check it again" "Ok." "No harm in checking." "What is going on?" "They are checking" "What are they checking?" "It's complicated!" "Forward it" "Idiot!" "A little more!" "That's it!" "Stop." "Guruji!" "What's the result?" "He's telling the truth!" "What!" "The cigar had left his mouth when..." "Heard you the first time!" "I'm not deaf!" "His telling the truth means" "We made the mistake?" "Take him away!" "Guruji!" "Please!" "Forgive me!" "I messed up!" "I'm sorry" "Listen K..." "It was a tough call!" "After all" "Chaurasia is a little bit of a man" "Such people always make little mistakes..." "But the benefit of doubt in all likelihood must come to me" "You can't do this!" "One can't escape the inevitable" "Let Anjali go!" "She's gone!" "I've sent her away!" "The body has already been examined..." "The Postmortem is finished!" "The End" " But you still owe me that one rupee!" "She is killed by you, but the cops are here to arrest me!" "I've lost everything!" "But all you fucking want is your bloody rupee..." "Say whatever you will, I've wronged you" "Explain it to them..." "Hello" "What is wrong?" "Who were you talking to?" " Guruji!" "Alex!" "Not Alex" "Guruji!" "Where'd he go?" "I spoke to him in front of you." "What are you looking at?" "I called him in front of you!" "I'll dial again" "Please check the number you've dialed." "How can it be?" "That Hitler spawned son of a bitch, Guruji!" "It's ok Mr. Just K." "You will have to come with us" "Do I look like I have a morbid sense of humour?" "Come with us" "Wait, I can prove it!" "I can prove it!" "Hello." " Abbas!" "Where are you?" " Got the bad news friend" " My condolences!" "What news!" "How did you know?" "From the bulletin." "He's sitting right across..." "Please can you come over!" " Tell them!" "Nobody here believes me!" "You want me to come over?" "Alright!" "I am coming..." "He is coming!" " Who is coming?" "My friend..." "He had even lost his two fingers after he went to Guruji..." "Who is this guru-ji?" "You know" "I used to smoke a lot" "And you feel the need to relinquish the cigarette." "Yes." "Consider it done" "Thank you for coming Abbas..." "Tell them about The Laboratory!" "What?" " Tell them!" "Tell them what?" "About Baba Bengali?" "Who Baba Bengali?" "Abbas!" "I don't know what you're talking about" "You got me into this mess!" "You got me into this bloody mess!" "Show me the gloves!" "What gloves?" "Show me your fingers?" "K..." "What are you doing?" " K..." "K stop it..." "You are sick." "Show me your fingers?" " K..." "K stop it..." "K..." "K stop it..." " Here!" "Have a good long look. ok!" "Here!" "Ok!" "What are you doing to me?" " What am I doing?" "What am I doing?" "K?" "What am I doing?" "K?" "Keep your mouth shut," "Don't utter a single word." "Or your life will turn into hell." "You won't be able to understand what is going on." "Take care, K!" "Take care of yourself!" "Ok!" "Bye!" ""Kalkatta Carpets"" "Please STOP him Sir!" "I'm telling you there's nothing down there!" "I've been working here the past 20 years!" "I am telling you, there is a stairway right below this that opens out into some Dharavi type slum" "Right inside a veiled woman's house." "Awake?" "You are the one who've passed out..." "You want proof?" "Where is my phone?" "And a cigarette" "Why don't I get a Black Label along with it!" "This is the only way" "I am still in the program." "I'll light up and that phone will ring." "I'll light this cigarette and my phone will ring." "And someone will say that my brother's disappeared." ""Take that drag"" ""Take that drag"" ""Take that drag"" ""Take that drag"" ""Take that drag"" ""Take that drag"" ""Take that drag of life"" ""Blow away your strife"" ""This world don't seem like much"" ""Like a bubble to the touch"" ""Why tip-toe on a bubble frail"" ""On flowing water, flowing sail"" ""Take that drag"" ""Solitude's a choked fire"" ""Prodded, poked, sleepless, stoked"" ""Flickers invoke desire"" ""Bunches red, of embers near-dead"" ""Lit like fireflies in the darkest cracks"" ""Like burning eyes placed on cinder stacks"" ""It's a two-bit blaze for a world of smoking"" ""Its two world's smoke for a life unspoken"" ""This world don't seem like much"" ""Like a bubble to the touch"" ""Why tip-toe on a bubble frail"" ""On flowing water, flowing sail"" ""Take that drag"" "Hello?" "What happened?" "Your brother just killed himself..." "He was murdered and it's all your fault" "You are a co-accused" "We are sorry" "No." "No." "Don't just be sorry!" "You didn't believe me!" "He committed suicide because I smoked a cigarette." "And you were the one who forced me to smoke a cigarette." " Hello." "Your brother left a note..." "In which he holds you responsible for his non-existent lung" "He blames you and your smoking..." "He blames me..." "He can't even write a word of Hindi" "He lived in Germany." "He speaks German!" " He writes German!" "How do you communicate with him?" "Rather did?" " What?" "How did you communicate with him?" "What!" " How did you talk to him?" "My mother worked in the Embassy as an Interpreter..." "Still does..." "I must say..." "He's fooling around!" "Let's take him into custody" "He'll be singing loud and clear in four hours flat..." "Okay." "Let's go." "This place is full of water." "If it won't flood in Bombay where would it flood..." "Rajasthan!" "Hello!" "This place is flooded!" "You swim?" "Hello!" "Can you hear me?" "Somebody get me out of here!" "Is anybody here?" "Keep your mouth shut, he'll turn your life into a living nightmare..." "You won't know the difference between when you are living and when you are dreaming?" ""In this jaundiced jungle, flows a river of smoke"" ""In this jaundiced jungle, flows a river of smoke"" "The last minute of the passing year and the next minute of the coming year is called as the 0 minute." "And each year for the people under the program is a designated... place where you can smoke depending on which country you are in." ""My eyes that spoke, now wisps of smoke, the light gives way to dark"" ""There is nobody around." "I am very depressed..."" ""My eyes that spoke, now wisps of smoke the light gives way to dark"" ""There is nobody around." "I am very depressed..."" ""There is a bit pain left." "Now it is habitual..."" ""Smoke, stoke, smoke it"" ""Smoke, stoke, smoke it"" ""Smoke, stoke, smoke it"" ""Smoke, stoke, smoke it"" ""Smoke, stoke, smoke it"" ""Smoke, stoke, smoke it"" ""Smoke, stoke, smoke it"" ""Smoke, stoke, smoke it"" ""Smoke your life, smoke away your senses"" ""Smoke the weave of your breath-laced offenses"" ""Smoke, stoke, smoke it"" ""Smoke, stoke, smoke it"" ""This heady high, and the whole world sways"" ""This tongue-less lie will speak anyways"" ""Smoke the word that scorches your lip"" ""Smoke the ash of night to its tip"" ""Smoke away the dark, the night is smoke"" "10...9... 8..." " 7... 6...5... 4...3... 2...1..." "And" "You are no longer confined to physical objects aspects or surfaces that contain within them." "You'll now experience the power to identify a change." "It is a magic sensory feeling that influences a minor consequences of your charity." "You are now in the limits of multiphase." "But not beyond space," "A bit strange!" ""When the high has broken, it's shards fall near and far"" ""We pick the bits, collect our wits, what smoky fools we are"" "Hello?" " K!" "Anjali?" "Where are you?" "You're alive!" " What do you mean alive?" "I'm dreaming again..." "Why did you ask me if I was alive?" "K!" "Why you doubt I am alive..." "Do you remember that recurring dream I used to have, every time I fell asleep in the bathtub!" "I found myself in the..." "What are you talking about?" "My dream!" "My dream." "Where are you?" " How did you call me here?" "I got the number from your office" "How?" " K!" "I'm your wife!" "I'm your secretary!" "Remember!" "You didn't want anyone at the office to know that I was your wife too" "You liked that they gossiped about us" "What nonsense!" "My secretary got married!" "To you K!" "K please!" " What's happened to you?" "I think I'm having a nightmare" "I need a cigarette!" "I can't take this anymore" "I would rather that Guruji kill me..." "If I smoke... he'll kill me." "He'll kill me if I so much as light it" "I'll call you back!" "Cigarette?" "No!" " Close it!" "Shoot me..." "Shoot me..." "Or give me a cigarette..." "Give me a cigarette..." "Give me a cigarette..." "Give me a cigarette, I wanna smoke..." "Where are you taking me?" "And what's the bathtub doing in the middle of the snow desert..." "I don't know..." "Next time try jumping in it, instead you might find another way..." "Stop!" "Hey!" "I'm telling you!" "Stop!" "Stop!" "I'll shoot" "What..." "I was supposed to wake up in my bathtub." "Why am I here?" "He emerged from a cupboard." "And he from a elmira..." "I always emerge from under the bed" "They said they'd bathe us today" "C'mon, let's go..." "It's not him..." "Let's go..." "Your body..." "He can't see you..." "If you want, you can speak to him over the phone" "All you need is a one rupee coin..." "You forgot to give them the rupee, didn't you?" "So did I?" "K!" "He says there's no problem now" "Everything is fine!" "It'll all come back to you slowly" "I felt as though someone was calling out to me." "That was your voice... your inner self," "Your soul." "Soul!" "Smoke?" "Soul..." "The inner soul is often frivolous, debauch, indulgent but with a strong mind you can control it but if you are inherently weak then my son, ...the wandering soul has to be released, let go..." "Time for the bath." "The new guy, in the black coat!" "Even he is going to be ruined." "Who are these people?" "Why are they staring at me?" "Come with me." "Hello!" "I'm asking you!" "Move away from the windows!" "Away from the windows!" "Those who have made the full payment need not take the bath." "The rest please stand in a queue." "This bed..." "Don't know where it came from?" "This is my bed." "This is my table." "So, it is obvious that this chair belongs to you." "No, only the table." "That's my name!" "Yeah." "Even I didn't get it the first time!" "I always came out of the bathtub..." "Me too!" "Don't stop." "Keep moving." "What do we do?" "What do we do?" "He's fooling around with us..." "Let's take him into custody." "He'll be singing in four hours flat..." "Ok." "This is the same cop!" "Soul-full, the body is divine..." "Soul-less, its dead..." "Means what?" "Lets go!" ""With the burnt out stubs of a thousand days"" "In this lab its our responsibility... to make you kick your extreme craving for the cancer stick..." ""With the burnt out stubs of a thousand days"" "...and if we fail to deliver then we have no option left but to send you down the road no Sane person would walk on..." "Because my son, Soul-full the body is divine Soul-less its dead..." "The end." "To all present, kindly reach the common bath in the next two minutes." "The doors are about to open." ""This ashtray's slowly filling"" ""Crimson little bits of desire"" ""Slowly spark, relight the fire"" ""This ashtray's slowly filling"" ""Slowly filling..."" ""The smoke slowly coils"" ""Smoke..."" ""The smoke slowly coils, a snake on the wind"" "You owe me..." "One rupee?" "That's my fee in cash!" "One rupee?" "Give him!" "No!" "I can only accept it from him" "This is also belongs to him!" "Will a fiver do?" "No that's fine..." "This debt will lay a heavy burden on your soul!" "Make him bathe..." ""This ashtray's slowly filling"" ""With the burnt out stubs of a thousand days"" ""With the burnt out stubs of a thousand days"" ""Watch, don't touch it."" ""Those moments scorched by time still smolder"" ""Those moments scorched by time still smolder"" ""You'll burn your fingers"" ""For at last this ashtray's full"" "It's a fool proof program!" "Believe me!" "They made me quit..." "Even Abbas" "At least check it out!" "I can take an appointment for you if you want..." "What inconvenience, man!" "That's what friends are for!" ""We are in a game." "I see a party."" ""I want to gate crash but it is not always easy..."" ""They never seem to be looking in your eyes..."" ""...you want to cry, you want to die, but you can't even get by..."" ""Puff it, blow it, smoke it"" ""Puff it, blow it, smoke it"" ""Puff it, blow it, smoke it"" ""Puff it, blow it, smoke it"" ""Puff it, blow it, smoke it"" ""Puff it, blow it, smoke it"" ""Puff it, blow it, smoke it"" ""Puff it, blow it, smoke it"" ""Smoke your life..."" ""Smoke away your senses..."" ""Smoke the weave of your breath-laced offenses"" ""Puff it, blow it, smoke it"" ""Puff it, blow it, smoke it"" ""This heady high, and the whole world sways"" ""This tongue-less lie will speak anyways"" ""Smoke the word that scorches your lip"" ""Smoke the ash of night to its tip"" ""Smoke away the dark, the night is smoke"" ""Puff it, blow it, smoke it"" ""Puff it, blow it, smoke it"" ""Puff it, blow it, smoke it"" ""Puff it, blow it, smoke it"" ""When the high has broken it's shards fall near and far"" ""We pick the bits, collect our wits, what smoky fools we are"" ""Sip by sip, I scald my lip, I drink the dew of bark"" ""My eyes that spoke, now wisps of smoke"" ""Now wisps of smoke"" ""Puff it, blow it, smoke it"" ""Puff it, blow it, smoke it"" ""Puff it, blow it, smoke it""