"I'm glad that you're here." "You and I will speak and my pain will heal." "I wish it was that simple." "Can I ask you how things are at home?" "I had to use Arun and Julia's bathroom." "Julia came in." "She was preparing to take the shower too." "Can you say a bit more about how you felt?" "I don't understand the rules in this house." "Is that Kamala, your wife?" "How often do you find yourself thinking about Kamala?" "I often think of her when I see Julia." "The differences between them." "It's impossible not to." "You wish you'd stayed in Calcutta?" "Do you think about come back?" "It's not possible." " So here you are." " Here I am." "Hey." "Hey." "So how are you..." "How are you feeling?" "The same." "Hmm, you're still a bit warm." "Can I get you some more orange juice?" "No, thanks." "This is..." "this is really cool." "Whose point of view is it?" "I don't know." "Nobody's, I guess." "Okay." "I want you to get some sleep, okay?" "Okay." "The shopkeeper gave me clear instruction" "That it should not steep more than three minutes" "Or the tea will turn bitter." "It smells a bit like roasted peanuts." "Oh, it will be much more pleasing, believe me." "Oh, by the way, you..." "You left this last week." "Paul, I suppose you are familiar" "With this reality television program..." ""survivors"?" "Oh yeah, sure." "But I haven't seen it." "What it is... two teams of American citizens" "Are stranded on an island." "And they compete in the most unpleasant conditions." "There's no food." "And they compete in they have to pleasant costruggle for water." "They have to battle for water." "And the women walking and jumping around naked..." "Almost naked, practically naked, without dignity." "And during competition" "They fight each other in the mud" "And run like crazed animals." "And they do all this willingly, Paul." "Did you find that disturbing?" "I could not help imagining what their husbands," "Wives and children must think, you know." "They are willing to compromise" "Any principle they might possess" "For one million dollars." "I suppose this is the cost of one's dignity in America..." "One million dollars." "I'd better go back to India" "Before I start building an obstacle course in my bedroom." "Are you afraid that watching this show might get to you," "That it might tempt you to lose your own dignity?" "I would not worry about that." "So are you planning to watch the show again?" "Thursday, 9:00 P.M." "I was just thinking this is the first time" "I've..." "I've experienced" "Such excitement from you." "Excitement?" "I was repelled." "Yes, but you must have been kind of fascinated too." "And you even wrote down the time that it airs" "So that you can watch it again." "Time." "Try." "Careful careful." "Thank you." "Very good." "You would be pleased with me, Paul." " Why?" " I have been trying" "To make an attempt to be different." " How so?" " I have been thinking" "Quite a lot about your exercise..." "How I should begin" "To express my frustration." "This is not easy." "It's like learning to bowl a cricket ball" "With your opposite hand." "It makes your head feel very heavy." "Well, I'm really glad" "That you've been trying to do something different." "Two nights ago" "Julia was in her exercise room" "On the second floor, right?" "So I was trying to read," "But I could not concentrate" "Because her music was so loud." "I could..." "I could feel it" "Vibrating through the floor, you know." "So I thought I'll go down and ask her" "If she could please turn the music down a little bit." "But I could not bring myself to do this, Paul," "Because she was running, bending, dancing, sweating so much" "That I did not want to embarrass her." "Julia was like a desperate animal," "Wanting so badly to keep up." "She was even punishing herself when she could not." "She was yelling, "come on, Julia." "Julia, come on." "Come on, Julia." "Julia, come on."" "So much sweating," "So out of breath, you know." "Doom-doom doom-doom doom-doom doom-doom... constant." "I have never seen her in that state before." "So you watched her for..." "for quite a while then." "I suppose you find this amusing." "Why would I find it amusing?" "The ways in which I choose to spend my time." "I do think it's interesting" "That you described Julia in the same way that you described" "The female television contestants..." "Desperate, primal, like crazed animals." "And yet, even though you were repelled," "You still kept watching." "And I can't help but notice how your energy," "When you talk about this TV show..." "I see the same kind of excitement" "When you talk about..." "about Julia." "My excitement, you said?" "I think that's accurate." "The last time you were here," "You spoke about arun and Julia's first visit to Calcutta." "Do you remember how you described him..." "That he was like a..." "An excited kid with a special dessert," "Barely able to breathe?" "Quite a vivid image." "And it just came back to me now" "As you were telling that story." "Initially you said you were happy for arun," "That you shared his excitement about Julia." "Would you..." "My son, I think, seemed amazed, surprised" "That a woman like Julia agreed to be his wife." "A woman like Julia..." "what do you mean by that?" "Let me explain it to you in this way..." "When arun was away at school," "His mother kamala..." "She had identified a Bengali girl" "That she thought would be a good match for him." "She came from a very well-respected Brahmin family," "But she was somewhat fat and not terribly bright." "And her name was Amolika." "Her face was like a giant bullfrog." "So now Julia is" "A great contrast to Amolika, you know." " You have seen her in person." " Yes." " She's... - she's not like a bullfrog." " Yes." " She's quite beautiful." "Do you think she's beautiful?" "It was clear that" "Arun felt fortunate to be with her." "When they visited that fall," "He had to be near her all the time," "As if he had to be touching her" "Or she would disappear." "When they were being affectionate with each other," "Was that hard for you to watch?" "It was more than just affection." "One evening at supper, we all were sitting." "Julia kept adjusting her sari..." "She borrowed it from kamala." "Because it was large for her," "It was falling off her shoulder." "It could be a very difficult wear" "For a new person." "So arun tried to help her several times," "His hands grazing her bare skin." "Julia... more than once" "She nudged him with her elbow" "In a very playful manner." "Kamala saw it and she was so embarrassed" "That, you know, she excused herself from the table." "Were you embarrassed as well?" "I managed to stay at the table." "So the following morning..." "The moment arun woke up," "He went to meet Julia at the hotel." "Now Julia wanted to do some kind of shopping," "So we planned to meet her at the hotel at lunch." "We waited nearly 10 minutes down in the lobby," "Then I went up to the room." "So I heard some unusual noises." "At first I thought" "It's the sound of Julia weeping." "Then I realized..." "My son's voice as well." "You heard them..." "you heard them talking?" "Not talking." "They were engaged..." "I mean, intimate." "And the things they were saying to each other, Paul..." "Anyway, so..." "I simply stood there." "And eventually kamala came up and she said," ""do you realize how long you were gone?"" "And then she heard them as well." "How long had you been gone?" "It was terrible terrible terrible..." "The look on her face." "She just turned and ran to the elevator." "After that we didn't sleep for whole two days." "And I've never seen kamala so so angry and so upset." "Kamala truly felt that arun was making" "The biggest mistake of his life." "So was this the event" "That precipitated your conversation with arun?" "Were you as passionately against their engagement as kamala?" "Paul, see, this is not acceptable behavior" "For principled Bengali people, Paul." "Making love in a hotel, huh?" "Moments before you are to meet your parents for lunch?" "You know, he is..." "he is our only child." "Yet when you first met Julia, you were excited for him." "I was excited because he was excited." "But kamala was right..." "Julia is not a good match for arun," "And this is obvious to me now." "And Thursday night" "Was the anniversary of my marriage to kamala." "So arun and me prepared a garland of flowers..." "A beautiful garland of flowers" "Which we arranged on Kamala's photo." "We also prepared her favorite meal..." "Lamb curry." "So..." "Julia came." "She came and took one bite" "And then left the rest untouched." "I thought maybe she didn't like it." "It turned out she was saving her appetite," "Going to a big dinner for a young author, Ethan Barr." "And this upset arun?" "It was his parents' anniversary." "Yes, I understand that." "But did it upset him?" "It clearly upset you." "I think it's terribly terribly unfortunate for arun" "That Julia places her personal desires ahead of her family." "Personal desires?" "But it sounds like she had..." "That she had a professional obligation." "This Ethan Barr is quite young and successful," "And he looks more like a movie star than an author of a book." ""the pale fox" by Ethan Barr." "Julia calls him several times a day." "They even talk on the weekend." "She left Kamala's dinner" "Wearing extremely short dress..." "Bright green and extremely short..." "With her hair flatteringly styled." "You think that she dressed like this" "For this young writer?" "As she was exiting the house," "I was sitting alone at the table" "Looking at Kamala's photo." "So she came and sat next to me," "And she looked me in the eyes." "She took my hand" "And kissed my cheek" "And said she was sorry about kamala." "And she was wearing this perfume" "Which was very strong," "Just like black pepper and Jasmine." "Arun spent the evening with the children." "He gave them their baths," "Put them to bed." "And the whole time his wife" "Is out with another man," "Wearing this perfume." "Must have been quite a surprise" "To have been dealt with by Julia" "In such an intimate way." "I was still stunned." "How could she leave Kamala's dinner so easily?" "And after that, I could not sleep." "Lying in bed, I wondered..." "Even one year from now..." "one year," "On the next anniversary of my marriage to kamala," "If Julia would still be around." "Where else would she be?" "I fear things will not turn out good..." "Good for arun and the children." "And what exactly is it that you're afraid is going to happen?" "Sunil, can I ask you something?" "Do you suspect" "That Julia is having an affair with this writer?" "Do you?" "Well, there's no way that I can answer that." "Paul, Paul, if what you suggest is true," "Then Julia would bring great shame" "Upon the family and..." "And what?" "She would deserve a harsh punishment." "A harsh punishment?" "What... what does that mean?" "I mean, I understand that in certain cultures infidelity..." "No no, the system..." "the system in America" "Has turned the human being into consuming monsters." "You know, they just want to pursue" "Their immediate..." "Immediate desires at all cost." "They will... they will feast on whatever..." "Whatever will fill their craving," "Believing that there are no consequences." "Don't get me wrong, Paul..." "I'm aware from experience" "That to be disciplined is not easy." "It can be a struggle sometimes that..." "To put one's family and honor" "Over personal gratification," "But it must be done." "There is nothing more important than this." "Well, you clearly have" "Some pretty intense feelings on this topic." "Does my intensity make you nervous?" "No no, it's just I..." "I just wonder where it comes from." "You said you know from experience" "How being disciplined isn't easy." "Well, can you tell me what you mean by that?" "What experience were you referring to?" "When I was an undergraduate student, I..." "I became close to a female classmate." "Okay, and this was" "Before you met kamala?" "Three months before, yes." "So we met in the library." "We were seated beside each other at a study table." "But I could not concentrate" "Because her face and her hair..." "You must be aware of this painting by el Greco..." ""the lady with a flower in her hair."" "It's a beautiful painting." "It's... the woman's face" "Is filled..." "filled with longing." "Sorry, what was your classmate's name?" " Malini." " Malini." "I convinced her to join me for lunch." "And shortly after that we..." "We found ourselves spending nearly every moment together." "You were a couple." "A couple?" "You were together." "Yeah, together." "And what happened to malini?" "Sunil, what happened to malini?" "We stopped... we stopped seeing each other" "Before graduation." "Things became very intense quite quickly." "We broke off the relationship and within a year" "Kamala and I were married." "And this is... this is what had to be done." "See, malini and I were not suited for each other, Paul." "She was not from a Brahmin family," "And it was not meant to be." "So you chose to be with somebody" "From the same caste." "Honoring the dignity of my family" "Was important to me." "Have you ever told anybody about malini?" "No no no." "I have not told a single person" "About malini in 30 years." "Not even kamala?" "No no no, you are the first person I'm telling, Paul." "I..." "I had considered" "Telling arun when he came to Calcutta, but..." "But you chose not to." "No." "Paul," "You must never speak to anyone of this." "Of course not." "You must promise me." "Sunil, I give you my solemn word" "That whatever you say in here stays between us." "Are there any circumstances" "In which you might disclose this information?" "Only in the most extreme circumstances." "What do you mean?" "What does this mean?" "It means that the only time I would betray the confidence of a patient" "Is if I felt somebody might be in danger," "Including the patient." "I promise you that everything you share in here is safe." "Do you ever wish you told your son about malini?" "It would not have made any difference." "He would have simply told me, "you made the wrong choice." "You gave up on your passion."" "And he would have married Julia anyway." "Do you think arun was right..." "That..." "Maybe you did make the wrong choice?" "No no." "No, I do not regret the choice I made." "I have..." "I have no patience for those" "Who do not live a principled life." "You doubt me?" "No." "You seem a little suspicious about my answer." "I'm not suspicious." "I just think that it's possible" "To be..." "To feel several things at the same time..." "Conflicted emotions." "I'm sure that kamala was" "A wonderful, supportive wife to you" "And you honor her memory" "With dignity." "But it's also possible" "That you may be experiencing regret" "Over your decision" "To end things with malini." "They're not mutually exclusive emotions." "I got the sense that you... that you were disturbed" "When... when... when..." "when you heard" "Your son and Julia" "Making love in their hotel room." "But you stayed and you listened." "I listened because" "It was like listening to a disaster." "I understand that." "And I would understand you feeling critical" "Of your son's marriage," "But at the same time" "Intrigued," "Fascinated," "Maybe even" "A little" "Jealous." "Why would I be jealous of a marriage" "In which a vain and immodest wife" "Is having a love affair with another man?" "You seem convinced that Julia is having an affair." "To me it's obvious." "She's living her life for some other person." "And do you think it's obvious to your son?" "That I'm not sure." "I'm not certain." "Do you think he's jealous of this other guy?" "He has said nothing of being jealous." "When you talked about Julia earlier on," "You talked about her in detail..." "The length of her skirt," "Which you said it was short," "That she had her hair done in a particular way," "And her perfume." "And..." "She took your hand and kissed you." "It's just a sense that I have" "That you" "Might feel betrayed by Julia..." "Not just on your son's behalf," "But personally." "What an interesting tea we have had." "Paul..." "Please check if the amount is right." "Will you please?" "Is it correct?" "I just want to say that I'm sorry about" "How the other evening turned out for you." "I..." "I'm sure the first anniversary without your wife" "Must have been... must have been really tough for you." "And..." "Thank you." "Thank you." "Thank you." "Thank you."