"Previously on "Defying Gravity"..." "This is Rufus." "Jen, what are you doing?" "You know you're not supposed to keep those embryos past a couple of days." "You know you're just gonna have to kill it." "I know." "I know." " Do you have any..." " I've had a vasectomy." " So you're pregnant." " What are you gonna do?" "Tell me about the risks with the pill." "Give me odds." "One in a thousand women have difficulties." "If you decide that you want to move forward, then you give me a call." "Do you ever think about a family?" "Someday." "You know I want babies with you, don't you, Rol?" "Plenty of time for that when you get back." "Evram?" "." "Hey, Evram." "Evram, you okay?" "You're right here." "We'll just keep it between you and me then." "You don't have to look, you know." "I..." "I'm fine." "Just do it." "Nothing to be ashamed of." "A lot of people have trouble with blood." "Can we not make a big deal about it and just get it done?" "Make a fist." "At home, going to the doctor can be a little scary." "But there are special challenges to medical care in the micro gravity of space." "Come on." "Oh, for instance, fluid handling can be very difficult,Right, Dr. Mintz?" "Can you explain this process to the fleet back on earth?" "It's just a routine blood test,paula." "Needle in, needle out" "But we all know there is nothing routine about space." "Damn it." "Missed." "Okay, Paula, enough." "Yeah, do...do they have you do this just to piss us off?" "I'm the payload specialist." "I'm the pilot of the Venus lander, and I've also been chosen to document this voyage for classrooms across the world." "It's my job, okay?" "All right, well, right now your job and my job seem to be in conflict." "So why don't we try this another time?" "Fine." "Thank you." "Another time then." "Mintz once told me he couldn't remember a single person he saved when he was a surgeon." "He could recall cases, diseases, wounds..." "Almost done." "But he forgot the people." "You can look now." "When I asked him why, he said it was simple... there are no lessons to learn from the ones you save, no reason to remember." "Keep your hand there." "Lessons are taught by the ones you lose." "All right, listen up." "This is not a blow-off day." "It's not a field trip." "Welcome." "All right?" "Sorry." "Sorry." "Traumatic injury and illness happens." "It happens here." "It happens in space." "With one major difference." "Wassenfelder, what's the major difference?" " Um...it..." " That's what I thought." "Wake up, genius." "What's the difference, Dr. Mintz?" "On Earth, you gate 911." "Whereas on "Antares"... we only have each other to rely on." "And if you can't rely on each other, What happens, Dr. Winkler?" "You die." "That's right." "You die." "Dr. Winkler's obviously been hitting the doughnut cart lately." "Yeah, anything to keep the baby happy." "But at one time she was a member of the illustrious ostriches which means ah, anything an A.S.C.A.N. classmate of mine." "And a very, very, very good one." "She's, uh, running the E.R. here at Koop now and has agreed to be our chaperone for the day." "All right, I want you to form three groups in front of the doctors here..." "Dr. Mintz, Dr. Winkler and Dr. Dereux." "Let's go." "Fall in." "So you A.S.C.A.N'd with Donner, huh?" "Yeah." "Yeah, and homeboy hurls at the sight of blood." "No kidding." "Oh, yeah." "Class of '42, baby." "The only question is how long before he goes down?" "Ah, I got 20, says he doesn't make it past lunch." "Yeah." "He'll be lucky to make it to 11:00." "You in?" "Okay, we're ready." "Let's head out." " That wasn't too obvious." " You think he saw?" "No, you were smooth as silk." "Of course now you're with Dr. Pregnant." "So I heard you did your residency in Tel Aviv." "Yeah, after the war." "I was at, uh, Richardson in Montreal." "To be honest, i kind of miss it." "I don't." "Okay,so we're gonna split you guys into groups and assign individual cases." "Uh, oh, Dr. Mintz, why don't you and Donner take your group into this bay here?" "It's a little lawn mower accident." "I'm gonna go down to the lobby, check for stragglers." "Almost." " Coming down with something?" " Doctors don't get sick." "Uh-huh." "Is that according to sick doctor?" "I consult with Claire." "Oh, who's totally objective when it comes to you, huh?" " She is a medical professional." " Hey, Ev, don't play me, all right?" "Took you six stabs to find a vein." "My back's been acting up since we left Earth's orbit." "I've been getting strange reactions to the pain medication." "That causes the shakes?" "Among other things." "I'm trying to find the right dosage." "All right." "Roger that." "Mintz have a fever?" "I didn't see that on last night's 0-11." "Low-grade." "I just noted it, Mike." "Hey." "He's back." "Welcome home." "Thank you, Dr. Goss, for allowing my return to the floor." "Welcome back, Sharma." "Everyone's very happy you've made a full recovery." "I'm humbled, honored to be part of the family again." "Yeah, well, you just hold on to that humility when the press wants your story." "I was briefed by Eve Shaw." " "No comment"" " is your default setting." "You copy that?" " Yes, sir." "No comment at all." "Do you have a few?" "Could you help me with something in the lab?" "Yeah." "New experiment?" "You could say that." "Mysterious." "Mm, slash cute and fuzzy." "Close that hatch." "Okay, this is all a little skulky." "Are we doing weird science?" "Mm, nothing weird, but definitely skulky." "May I present..." "Rufus." "Okay." "Yeah, not so cute." "Or fuzzy." "Give him time." "Aren't you supposed to destroy rabbit fetuses after ten cell divisions?" "Well, yes." "But today's his birthday, and I need your help." "What, baking a cake?" "Giving him birth." "This is Mr. Gurwitz, dislocated shoulder." "These are our astronauts." "So you were in Donner's class?" "Yeah." "Yeah, until I realized I'd make a better doc than a sky walker and I dropped out." "There we go." "Oh, I'm sorry." "I know it hurts." "Uh, lido patch, please." "Oh." "You'll have these on "Antares." They're a localized lidocaine anesthetic, and they work..." "That fast." "It's excellent, huh?" "Okay." "We're gonna brace him." "Donner was my partner when I did my A.S.C.A.N. rounds, which meant I pretty much did them alone." "Do tell." "Oh, well, you know about the blood thing?" " No." "Blood thing?" "You didn't see him run away out there?" "Oh." "It's the only thing I've ever seen Donner wimp out on,which is what makes it so much fun." "Everyone ready?" "Excellent." "Okay?" "I gotta pee." "Little bugger is crushing my bladder." "Go, people." "You know what?" "Don't let Dr. Mom there give you second thoughts." "It's too late for second thoughts." "It's done." "I took the pill this morning." "What?" "Then, Zoe, you shouldn't be here." "I'll be home before the cramping starts, and tomorrow it'll be like it never happened." "Okay." "Russell Zachary... high as as kite and under police investigation." "No, you can't have me arrested without a positive test." "You know that." "I know that." "So..." "Yeah, apparently this is a new designer drug moving down the coast." "Its, um, molecular structure is designed to basically disappear into your system." "Untraceable?" "Mm." "That's genius." "It's not genius." "It's illegal." "Okay, so check his vitals every 15 until his blood work, um, comes back." "You know, sometimes a trace shows up." "Wait." "I mean, is that all we could do?" "Yeah, Paula." "Sometimes medicine can be dull." "Get over it." "She's so hot." " Do you get high, miss..." " Don't talk to me." "We are now 30 days into our voyage, a little over a week and a half from insertion into venusian orbit." " And I have the honor..." " You said "insertion."" "I have the honor of piloting the Venus lander." "So I'm really starting to get excited." "Insertion makes her excited." "And you can be a part of it, too." "All you have to do is tune in." "From "Antares," I am Paula Morales." "Until tomorrow." "You are such a jerk." "Why?" "'Cause I don't say a prayer every time we're near a new planet or blow a kiss to christ after reform 24?" "There's nothing wrong with living my religion." "Uh, you know, spectacles, testicles, wallet and watch," "Lock it down, Wassenfelder." "You two, come on." "I have a job for you." "Okay, go long." "Dragon's breath." "Nice hands." "You better say an end zone prayer now, Morales." "I'll say a prayer for the moron who threw the pass." "You know why he's making us do this, right?" "Yeah, we work together." "We form a friendship" "Commander Ted's sweat bonding." ""If you love only those who love you, what reward is there in that?"" "Sweat bonding through Jesus... that's the worst." "No, Matthew 5:46." "Why do zealots never understand irony?" "Paula!" "Steven!" "Zoe, mask." "Seriously?" "Just think of it as a sociological experiment." "Bonding with pets in space." "Why invest in something when you cannot keep it?" "I am gonna nurse this beauty all the way back to Earth." "Look at that." "This is the first real birth in space." "Isn't it amazing?" "tiny, floating penis with teeth." "Hand me that aspirator." " What is the matter with you?" " What is the matter with me?" "What if mission control finds out?" "I turned off the camera." "And Rollie knows." "Rollie knows, and he didn't say anything?" "Not yet." "It's against protocol, Jen." "It's one rabbit, Zoe." "Relax." " We gotta go, Jen." "Yeah, I'll be there." "I just gotta put him away." " Do we know who?" " Paula." "Whoa!" "There was an accident." "The...the container pinned her, and the hatch door came down." "Yeah, apply pressure." "Steven, press down hard." "Okay, flight, we've got a severed thumb and a...and an additional, uh, abdominal injury." "We got to get her up to the natural grav quick." "She's losing a lot of blood." "Does anybody have a 20 on Mintz?" "In his quarters." "Well, let's get him over to the med station." "Clear the floor of everyone but critical personnel." "And cut the press feed." "Tell them we'll brief them on the half-hour." "Ev, they need you now." "Evram?" "On my way." "You know, being an instructor, you can probably just go home." "Yeah, and give Winkler the satisfaction?" "I saw that bet go down." "We got a sprained ankle in bay four I can put you on." "Yeah?" "You'd do that?" "My money's on you lasting the shift." "G.s.w. intubated in the field, pulse thready." "B.P.'s dropping." "G.S.W.?" "Haven't had one of those in a while." "Gunshot wound, but they don't have a clue." "You're a combat medic, right?" "Look, I want the sprained ankle, but if you don't think they can handle it,we should ride along." "Let's go." "All right, come on." "Bring her in." "Put her on the table." "Nice and easy." "Good, good." "Set her down." "Okay, grab her feet." "Nadia, you pull the stretcher out on three." "One, two, three." "Everybody behind the curtain." " You good?" "I said behind the curtain." "I don't need you puking on my feet." "Where the hell is Jen?" " Zoe?" "She, uh, she had to close an experiment." "All right, I need another assist." "Nadia." "Look at me." "I can't." "I'll go back and clean up the blood." "Donner, you're clean." "Scrub and mask." "Scrub and mask." "You're not contaminated." "Claire, how's she doing?" "B.P.'s 80 over 50 and dropping." "Heart rate's 130 and spiking." "Copy that." "We'll hold her vault pressure." "Zoe, 2 units o-negative on the rapid infuser." "How long has she been unconscious?" "Wassenfelder?" "Um, uh, t... ten minutes, tops." "Any brain trauma?" "Did she hit her head" "Scan's not seeing any." "No, she... she just fainted when she saw her thumb" "All right, I'm gonna take a look." "Donner, Scope." "I got it." "No, too late." "You stay outside the curtain." "Donner, let's go." "Forceps and scissors." "I mean, it's, like, how can they not let you do drugs ...in space?" "Oh, man." "I don't think I haven't thought about that a thousand times." "Yeah, but they can't even tell, you know." "Now it's like it's untraceable." " Here we go." " Just stop." "You're a ridiculous poseur without a clue." "I've watched too many of my friends..." "In church?" "My neighrhood back in Jersey City." "Anyway, just people I grew up with." "It starts out all fun and games until the inevitable O.D., the failed rehab and the pathetic downward spiral." "Is she always this much fun?" "You have no idea, dude." "Scope." "Scope in." "What... what about her thumb?" "Forget the thumb." "Priorities." "Okay, well, it's important to her." " We can regrow it." " Not in a week." "She can't pilot the Venus lander without her thumb." " Step out,Wass." "Don't screw her over like this!" "You go help Nadia vacuum out the blood in the pod bay." "Go." "I can't see anything." "Donner, I need suction." "Clear that out for me." "Uh, the suction..." "Oh, wow." "That's a lot of blood." "I can get it." "Here we go." " Is that better?" " Much." "Ah, damn." "She's got a peritoneal bleed." " Meaning what?" " We got a bloodbath." "I need suction." "Clear that for me." "I need more suction, people." "Come on." "Where's my surgical consult?" "He can't handle it." "He's gonna lose him." "Tell him." "Man, that's bloody." "You need a visual, doctor." "We have a visual." "No, you got a camera and soup." "You need to open up the wound." "I prefer to minimize the trauma." "Well, I prefer to save the patient." "Her B.P.'s still dropping, 70 over 40." "I can see that, Claire." "Thank you." "Evram?" "!" "Well, I can't stop the bleed unless I find it." "What's going on here?" "More suction, Zoe." "Nothing." "Are we gonna lose her?" "She'll hold as long as we keep pumping blood." "Yeah, but they'll burn through their reserves." "They'll have an on-ship blood drive,Mike." "They'll have time." "And if they exhaust the supply?" "Ev will have the wound closed before then." "He'll have it closed." "He will." "Maybe you should open it up, Ev." "Find the bleed with your eyes." "Oh, you're a surgeon now, Donner?" "You gave that advice to somebody, and it worked." "Right?" "When is the last time you didn't use the fiber cam?" "You need to use your hands, your eyes." "Incise." "Get him out of here before I call security." "What's going on, Donner?" "Uh, I think somebody's gonna blow a gasket..." "I don't know if it's Mintz or the kid." "Dr. Mintz?" "In wartime triage, we'd have red-tagged this kid and saved him with a sewing kit." "This idiot has every technology known to man, and he's gonna kill him." "He's in free fall." "We're losing him." "I'm going in." "My patient." "Security?" "His patient, doctor." "Give it to him." "7 blade." "The scalpel with the 7 on it." "Come on." "Let's go." "Open her up, Ev." "Ev." "Come on." "All right, let's open her up." "7 blade." "7 blade." "Incising." "Evram." "Mintz?" "Mintz, is there a problem?" "Mintz, what is going on?" "Mintz." "What are we doing, Ev?" "Evram, you have to incise." "You're losing her." "Ev?" "I don't want to lose her." "Well, open her up, okay?" "Forget the machines." "Just use your eyes." "Use your hands." "Ev, I know you can do this." "Damn it." "Save her." "Scalpel." "Here we go." "Retractor." "Okay, retract and give me some suction." "Okay, suction here and here." "And I still can't see." "I..." "I can't see it." "I see it." "There." "I can't, Donner." "I can't." "It's right there." "Find it with my hands." "Oh, got it." "Clamp." " Ev, use your hands." " I can't see, Donner." "It's right... oh, God." "B.P.'s rising." "She's coming back." "I think I got it." "I got it." "Help." "He's got it." "Her B.P.'s rising." "All right." "Copy that." "Let's clamp her, and we'll get to work." "Who's your oldest trauma surgeon, doctor?" "Uh, our chief." "He's 75." "You may want to have him finish up" "You really have that much trouble with blood?" "That's pathetic." "That was amazing." "That's all I wanted to say." "I..." "I, um..." "I just..." "I just, um... whatever." "Look, can I buy you a drink after work?" "Or something?" "Or a drink." "Yeah." "Okay." "Okay." "Well, that was an eventful morning." "It's not usually that exciting around here, which is the way I prefer it." "Do you ever... wonder what your life would have been like if you hadn't left the I.S.O.?" "Oh, I wanted to fly." "I wanted to go to space." "But I made a choice." "No regrets?" "Well, that's the blessing in having a choice, isn't it?" "No regrets." "Is something wrong?" "Cramps." "That one was bad." "It's fine." "Well, then get off your feet." "You know, take the rest of the shift off, Zoe." "We'll see you tomorrow." "Really." "Thanks." "Already?" "No, it... it won't get bad until tonight." "I just need a hot bath and bed." "I'll be fine." "Zoe." "Told ya." " Told me what?" "You made the right decision." "That's not exactly what I got from her, but it doesn't matter." "It's done." "You can't say he went easy on me, though." "Uh, since he's, uh, already got your money, I think I'm gonna head out." "I've had enough for one day." "You take care of that one, all right?" "I'll try." "God, he came so close." "So close." "Are you following me?" "Mm." "I was gonna ask if you're avoiding me." "I saw you, uh, change groups earlier." "Yeah." "Then I probably am." "Yeah.?" "Yeah." "You know, we still got five years of training left, and God forbid we're both on the same crew." "Yeah, I know, Donner." "We have to work together" "They send you home?" "Yeah." "How come?" "Cramps." "Oh, right." "Cramps, yeah." "Those are pretty bad, huh?" "Yeah." "I mean, I..." "I hear." "You mind if we don't talk about me?" "I'd just rather not." "Yeah." "Sure." "So you following me?" "I, uh..." "I got a blood thing." "Your blood thing." "Wait a minute." "You know about my blood thing?" "No." "No." "No." "Who won the pool?" "Mintz won the pool." "I didn't puke." "Yeah, I would never figure you for a blood-fearing man." "It's just a childhood thing, you know?" "It started with bacon." "Bacon?" "Yeah, I used to eat a lot of bacon." "I had an uncle who was a farmer." "He was into the whole sustainable thing and cured his own meats." "Thought I ought to know where bacon came from, so I said if I spent the summer up on the farm, I could have all the bacon I wanted." "It sounded pretty good to me." "I was 9." "Anyway, he had this pig Thomas and it was kind of my job that summer to take care of him, to... feed him, clean out its pen basically, being Thomas' best friend for the summer." "Pigs are really smart, I dont' know if you knew that..." "What's going on?" "Huh?" "It's, uh..." "It's what?" "Donner?" "What's up?" "I need a doctor." "Now." "Okay." "Get her into a bay." "Stats and I.V. access now." "Let's move." "Okay, what happened?" "Was she hit?" "Uh, she said she was cramping up and then she... she just went down." "Cramping?" "Okay, don't worry." "We'll take care of her." "She's so sexy." "Yeah, she's..." "She's so sexy." "Um, there's no change." "There's no change in his vitals either." "See?" "It's untraceable and it's good for you." "You're okay." "You two are done here." "How about you just take the girl and my man can hang?" "Say good-bye to the degenerate." "I'll be outside." "That I don't understand at all." "Oh, God." "Zoe." "Zoe." "Zoe!" "Oh, God." "Zoe." "Zoe!" "Uh, Dr. Winkler, uh, it's... it's Zoe." "she's having a miscarriage." "She took an abortion pill this morning." "You have to... you can't let the program know." "All I can promise is I'll try." "Okay?" "An abortion pill?" "You can't tell anyone." " Now, please, you have to promise..." " I would never betray Zoe." "Hey, Wass." "Yeah?" "I just had to tell you one thing, man." "Okay." "Come here." "When you do this stuff, man..." "You gotta make sure... okay?" "You gotta make sure that you just..." "Paula?" "!" "Doc!" "Doc!" "He's coding." "No." "No." "No, that can't...no, he was...he was j..." "Bag him. 10 of epi, charging 200." "And clear." "Again." "Clear." "What are you doing?" "The blood can clog our air filters." "It's crucial that we clean it up." "Yeah, well, opposable thumbs are kind of crucial when you pilot a lander." "She can grow it back." "Venus is in 12 days." "Matrix regeneration takes, like, a month." "Steven, even if they reattach her thumb, she won't be ready." " We don't know that." " Yes, we do." "You don't even like Paula." "That doesn't matter." "If I was on that table, she wouldn't give up on me." "I'm calling it." "What?" "Wait." "No." "Y... you can keep going for an hour without... without brain damage." "No." "I'm sorry, Paula." "He's gone." "Let's take a look at that thumb." "See, uh, with matrix regeneration, she should have a new one in a month." "She won't be able to pilot the Venus lander." "I think she'll understand." "You think?" "You think Paula's gonna be satisfied with her little classroom in space?" "Well, that's why our good doctor's also a shrink." "All right, let's cut a clean-edged wound on her hand." "11 blade." "Wait!" "Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait." "Don't touch it." "Don't touch it!" "I found it." "I found it!" "So how long before she'll be able to use it?" "With a good graft, regeneration and some time in the hyperbaric chamber, she could be good in a week, two at the latest." "Still good for Venus?" "She has a real shot, yes." "I need to know exactly what was going on with Mintz." "That's what he said." "He said he had back pain.He was upping his meds" "Paula almost died on that table." " That's what he gave me, Ted." " That sure as hell wasn't back pain, Donner." "Well, I don't know what you want me to tell you, Ted." "I don't have anything else." "I do." "You remember that day we were having electrical problems?" "I found Mintz in his lab, on the floor." "It's the...strobing lights caused some kind of war flashback or something, and I don't know what it was about, but he was... he was deeply affected." "He was..." "shaking and..." " And you didn't tell me this because what?" " Because he said it was rare." "Our lives depend on each other." "You are to tell me everything..." "everything that could even possibly affect this mission or the other astronauts." "No exceptions." "Do you understand me?" "Do you understand me?" "Yes." "Yes, I do." "You know its fur could clog a filter or cause an allergic reaction or send an infection airborne." "It won't happen, Zoe." "Your choice has consequences." "I get that." "Then can you tell me why?" "I got six years to keep my mind on Rollie and off Ted." "H.A.L.O.'s for that." "H.A.L.O.s kills libido." "They don't do a damn thing if you're lonely." "She'll be all right." "They stopped the bleeding, so she's in recovery." "Did you see her?" "You're not responsible for what happened to Zoe." "No, she said it was cramps." "It was." "I just feel bad, 'cause the whole time I'm telling her this dumb story, and she must have been in a lot of pain." "Tell me the story." "Well, it was about a pig named Thomas that I used to take care of." "Because my uncle thought that if you were gonna eat the bacon, you oughta get to know the pig." "I never thought old Thomas could hold that much blood." "It must be really exhilarating saving someone that way." "I'll forget 'em after my next drink." "I don't believe that." "How can you forget someone whose life you just saved?" "You did your residency at Richardson, right?" "And then... five years on teaching staff at Johns Hopkins." "So I'm guessing ten patients a day, weekends off." "That's pretty much it." "Yeah." "On my first tour, I saw 3,500 patients in 90 days." "I remember procedures, not people." "Out of those 3,500 people, you don't remember one single person?" "I remember a schoolgirl in a bombed-out building during the war." "Did you save her?" "I was the one that called in the strike." "We were moving into Ramallah under heavy fire." "I was with a forward platoon and spotted what I thought was gunfire coming from the schoolhouse." "Even as medics, we're... we're soldiers first." "You understand?" "I called artillery, gave them the coordinates." "And within minutes, the school was shelled." "It was on fire." "The roof caved in." "And we advanced." "To the school?" "To the school." "I heard crying coming from inside, so I crawled under the rubble." "And it was a school." "It was just a school." "Nothing but children." "That's when I saw her... reaching out to me." "She was calling for me." "Another shell exploded on top of us before I could get to her." "That's the scar on your back?" "And that's who you saw on the table... the schoolgirl." "I'm a doctor." "I'm a psychiatrist." "Whatever this was, it wasn't pain medication or withdrawal from alcohol." "This was... a full-blown hallucination." "Did you get it all?" "I think most of it." "I'm, uh..." "I'm so sorry." "I put all you guys through this." "Paula..." "Paula and I..." "You need to stop blaming yourself." "I was the one moving too fast." "She wasn't ready to catch it." "Did you make the hatch door close?" "That's not the point." "The point is I can be a complete idiot." "Yes, you can." "Over and over, I ask myself why they chose you for this crew." "You're clumsy, you eat too much, and you behave like a 12-year-old boy." "See?" "But you know what?" "What?" "Every once in a while, you find a thumb." "You had an emergency hysterectomy, Zoe." "I'm sorry." "Am I out of the program?" "No." "You had an ovarian cyst." "It burst." "Our scans didn't detect it." "A burst cyst?" "That's what we're saying." "Understand?" "Yes." "Thank you." "You could have come to me, Zoe." "I would have been able to do something." "We never remember the ones we save, and we never forget the ones we fail." "It's about taking responsibility for our choices... about learning from sacrifice." "It's those hard lessons that shape us and how we respond, where we go in our lives." "I don't think there's ever been a man or a woman without some kind of regret." "And that's probably a good thing... because it's our failures, more than our successes, that make us who we are."