"THANK YOU FOR THE SWAN EGG" "Congratulations." "Congratulations." "We just need to sort out the subtitle." ""Dog Head:" "My Swedish Dog's House" or something..." "I've brought a little surprise..." "This little fellow." "Wanna have a toke?" "Now's the time, Frank." " I'll light up this one." " Good for you." " What's in it?" " I bought it on Strøget." "This is Læsø candy." "The best pot I've ever smoked." "It's fantastic." "It gives you great giggles." "Really mellow." " Who is it?" " Room service." " Hold on." " Damn it." "Hi..." "Juice, that's nice." " What's your name?" " Emily." " Shall I clear the table?" " No, leave it." " I want the sausage." " It's ham, actually." "Sorry we're laughing." "We've just finished writing a film script." " Do you like films?" " I love films." "Maybe we could watch a film later." "We've paid for... oh." "Oh, boy..." " I wouldn't do that too often." " Why not?" " Never mind." " He likes your bottom." "It goes straight to my cock." "If you understand what I mean..." " Call if you need anything." " Absolutely." "Did you notice what I did?" "I let her go." "In the old days, I would have tried to pull her." "Life is good!" "We're grown-ups." "No guilty conscience." " It's great." " But we need her to come back." "It's Bille August, the film director." "Hi, honey." " Hi." " Quick..." "Hi." "I've had the most incredible croquis weekend." "Look what I've done." "Aren't they good?" "We've been drawing and drawing." "Look at this one." "It's really good." "Lots of detail, willy and everything..." "I became totally absorbed." "I just drew for hours and hours." " There's more of the male model." " What do you mean?" " Did you prefer to draw the man?" " That's really crude." " The body is an anonymous tool." " But you know the model's name?" "No." "I don't." "We focus on the work." "Maybe you had a beer afterwards." "I do if I've seen someone naked." " Can you get it?" " No, it's the landline." " It's not for me." "I use the mobile." " It's Mia..." "Hi, Mum." " It was fantastic." " Honey..." "I'm so excited about it." "Susan and I were drawing for hours." " Honey..." " Yeah." "Honey?" "I'm ready." "The bed is warm, Pumpkin." "Come on, Pumpkin." "I'm hot." "Good morning, Muffi." ""Good morning, darling." She's written a letter for us." ""I've gone to the tea shop." "Have a great day."" ""Remember that today is the first day of the rest of your life."" "What a load of rubbish." "She's gone all arty-farty." "No." "I can't be asked." "Oh, stop it." " Hi, it's Pygge." " Hi, Pygge." "Is Mia there?" " No, she's in the tea shop." "What a shame." "I wanted to talk to her." "We've got Discovery Channel now." "Did you see it last night?" "It was about hares." "They had some lovely footage." "You saw the sweetest little hare sitting in some bushes." "It could sense that something was not right." "It sensed danger." "All the big animals rushed off..." "There's someone at the door." "I have to run." "Bye." "Hi, I'm the bin man." "Can I borrow your toilet?" " Now?" " Yes." " Okay." "It's upstairs." " Thanks." "Hi, Dodo." "Could you cancel the trip to Malaga, please?" "No, we're not going after all." "I've cancelled the trip to Malaga." "That's a first." "There's no reason to go now that we've finished the script." "It would all be about women and booze..." " And visits to Navy Bar." " Oh, my..!" "Hello, sailor!" "No, no..." "That was it." "Bille is going to read it now and call within eight days." "I believe it's right up his alley." " Honestly, I think it's brilliant." " It's bloody brilliant." "The bin man asked to use our toilet this morning." " He did a number two in there." " How gross." "The rule is, you can't just walk in and crap at someone else's place." "You have to follow the 15-minute rule." "You go in, make conversation, say something nice, and then..." "... you can crap." " Only after 15 minutes." " I don't think bin men have rules." " It's an eye for an eye." "They're animals, you know." "Giggle pains..." "What the hell were you thinking?" "Why have you been doodling on my drawings?" " Were you going to use them?" " They're my croquis drawings!" "Easy now, Pumpkin." "Your mum called about Discovery..." "I don't care." "You shouldn't be doodling on my artwork!" " I'm sorry." "It's that landline..." " Oh, stop it!" "She went into this long story about a hare." "Then I started doodling." "Shut up!" "These are my best drawings of Staffan." "Honey!" "There's no reason to get so upset." " How do you know his name?" " I don't want to talk to you." "Honey..." "I'm sorry." "I really am." "I need to use the toilet, actually." "Let's go." "Come on, man!" "Bille August called." "It's all happening." " Come on, come on." " Mia, I need to use the toilet." "We have to go right now." "He's flying back to England." " So we're doing it?" " Of course we are!" "Like I said." " We're going out to Bille August." " Bye, Mia." " He wants to do the movie!" " We have to go." " What a triumph." " He thought it was excellent." " And he's seen some good scripts." " The guy has won an Oscar!" " Let me pinch you." " Ouch..." "God, it's cool!" " And the money's probably good." " You bet." "This is it." " Great." "I need to have a dump." " You'll have to wait 15 minutes." "I really need to go." "We're meeting an Oscar director." "All you think of is taking a crap." " You're not fucking this up, okay?" " It's not my choice." " Squeeze your buttocks together." " Mia barricaded our toilet." " Get an extra toilet, then." " A weeping girlfriend is a rarity." "Not to me." "15 minutes is nothing, Frank." "Right, we're here." " I have to go." "I mean it." " You'll have to wait 15 minutes." " I have to go, Casper." " It's not my problem." " Can't I be exempted from the rule?" " No." "Stop it." "The 15-minute rule is absolute." "End of story." " Casper..." " Listen." "Take my car." "Go home and have a dump." "You can't meet Bille like this." "You drive me crazy." "I'm shitting myself as well, but I can wait." "Do you have any paper in the car?" "Do you?" " Frank..." " I'll do it here." " I want to meet Bille." " No, Frank..." " Hi." " Hi, Casper." " Good to see you." "Are you alone?" " Frank will be here soon." "Hi, Bille." "Nice to see you again." "I'll go and get the kids." "See you in a bit." "It's great that it worked out." "I think it's a brilliant project." " Who does the main writing?" " I do." "I thought so." "There's a lot of Casper in it." "As soon as I read it I thought, "This is not just a Danish film."" "It could be an international movie with a Scandinavian story..." " Here's Frank." " Hi, Bille." "I took a cab." " Brad Pitt has been mentioned." " Are you okay?" " Yes." "I've just been running." " Okay." "Welcome." "Let's go in." "I sat perfectly still." "I learned that from my mother-in-law." "Two swan eggs, please." " Have a nice day." " You, too." "Hi, Mia." "I really want to apologise." "It was thoughtless of me." " I respect your creativity." " Why didn't you just say that?" "It makes me happy when you appreciate what I do." " I think we should hang them." " We don't have to." "Oh, yes." "I want one in my office." " Are you here much longer?" " No." "I'll get my stuff." "Have you and Michael had any fights over the croquis thing?" "Not really." "But then he didn't ruin my drawings." " No." "That was stupid." " Yes, it was." " I teased her for drawing that guy." " Well, he was the model." " And for knowing his name." " She doesn't." " Yes, he's called Staffan." " No." "The models are anonymous." "You don't know anything about them." "They're just bodies." " Almost like a lump of flesh." " Maybe, but Mia knows his name." " Right, honey?" " You don't get all their details." " Tell Susan." " I know his name is Staffan." " There you go." " How do you know that?" "Because we had a glass of wine after the session." " And talked about the drawings." " Didn't you hear the teacher say..?" "The reason I know his name is because we ended up kissing." "I'm sorry, Frank." "That's all it was." "So..." "Thank you for the swan egg." "That's all it was, Frank." "Right, Muffi." "Daddy's leaving now." "Mummy's been stupid." "She got drunk and kissed another man." "See you in a couple of days." " Can I use your toilet again?" " No." "You can't crap here." "Do it in your spare time." " Hi, Frank." " Hi." "Can I come in?" " What's happened?" " Mia's been kissing another guy." "She went to a croquis course and kissed some model." " That's so out of order." " Like hell it is." " Iben?" "You can crash here." " I'd like to." " Frank is going to stay here." " Hi, Iben." " Mia's been kissing another guy." " Kissing another guy?" " Is she in love or..?" " I don't think so." "If it's just a kiss it's no big deal." "We've all been there." "You work with people, you party, and then you end up kissing..." "What are you talking about?" "Say I've been part of some production, and there's a party." "You connect with people." "It doesn't have to be..." " What are you saying?" " I'm saying it's no big deal." "Have you been snogging someone at a party?" "At a wrap party for some shitty film you've been in?" "Tongue wrestling some useless, Danish actor?" "Is that it?" "Are you telling me you've never slipped?" " I've never done anything." " What did you say?" " Don't lie to my face!" " I'm not the one confessing here." "At least I admit that I've kissed other people..." "Now you're using plural!" ""I'm Staffan, the gorgeous croquis model." "Mia..."" " Let's go, Frank." " Has she gone mad or..?" " She's always been mad." " Bye, girls." " Are you sure this is a good idea?" " Going to Malaga?" "Damn right!" " We're giving it all we've got." " Maybe I should talk to Mia." " She cheated on you." " It was just a kiss." "Fuck the girls." "It's you and me." "Malaga, Puerto Banus,   big steaks, Havana Club, and then we go clubbing." " She just texted me to apologise." " Switch off your mobile." "Take off your shades, please." "They definitely need a lesson." "But not too big..." "Let's just go." "It'll be fun." " Is this your luggage?" " Yes." " And this is your bag?" " Yes." "Please come with us." "We need to check them." " Come on." "What's wrong?" " We need to check them." " No." "I want to catch this plane." " There are many planes to Malaga." " You better have a good explanation." " Absolutely." " Whose is this?" " Mine." "Could you open it for me, please?" "Thank you." "What's this?" "It's a joint." "I was in a rush, and I forget to throw it out." " Let's go next door." " It's just pot, you know..." " Come with me." " Yes, alright." " Let's look at yours." " I'm afraid I have one as well." " Please open your bag." " This is so stupid." "We always bring something on writing weekends." "Just to round off." "Let's see if you have anything to "round off" with." "Here's a little extra something." "Sit down over there." "I'll be right back." "I'll wait here." "This is our doctor." "He is going to examine you." "Hi." "I'm a doctor." "My name is Staffan Højmark." "I need to give you a rectal exam, so please undress and bend over." "Please." " What was your name again?" " Staffan." "Pull down your trousers and try to relax." "Unusual name." "Have you ever been a croquis model?" "Yes." "Come on, Frank." "Pull down your trousers." "My bum is sore." "I think I got a little tear." "What about you?" "Hello..?" "Hi, Bille." "I'm not too good right now." "What's up?" "He needs a subtitle for the movie right now." "How about "Today is the first day of the rest of your life"?" ""Today is the first day of the rest of your life. " That's the title." "Yes, it's great." "We think so too." "Use that." "I'd love to talk, but I'm at the end of my tether." "Bye." " He liked it?" " Best thing he ever heard." "I'd like to have a saying that people would know me for." "Just like Churchill." "How about "It goes straight to my cock"?" "That's very Churchill." " No..." "What's going on?" " I told him he couldn't use our loo." "That's no reason to throw garbage into our garden." "What do you think you're doing?" " Go away!" " What an idiot."