"Dad." "Dad." "Dad." "Joesoef." " Dad." "Joesoef." "Where's my dad?" "KNOW YOURSELF" "Joesoef..." "Joesoef." "What about the goats?" "Go and find them." "You too, Hamid." "Hamid." "The goats have run off." " What?" "The goats." "They're still in the hills." "Oh, my Lord." "For heaven's sake, get going." "Joesoef." "I'm tired, friend." "Can we have a bit of a rest?" "Yes, but we must be back before dark." "No problem." "I'm going to have a look up there." " What for?" "I'm going to take a crap, that's all." "You take care of the goats." "Dear son." "Look at this." "The Netherlands." "Up there you can see the whole of Rotterdam." "Fond regards, Dad." "Dad?" "Dad?" "Uncle Hamid." "Uncle Hamid." "Where are the goats?" "Wake up, Uncle." "Where have the goats gone?" "They're..." "What the?" "You let them escape, stupid." " I'll look over there." "Where are you going?" "I'll go that way." " OK." "What have you done, silly?" "Now we've lost all our money." "We're sorry." "We'll make up for it." "Hamid and I will look for them." " Sure." "Make sure you find those goats." "Or get us the money." "Don't dare come back before you've found them." "What's up, cousin?" "Will we ever find those goats?" "Are you asking me?" "How should I know?" "Perhaps over there?" " But there's nothing out there." "How should I know?" "Come on." "This is the story about my son Joes." "They never found the goats." "So they had to find money." "Their search brought them to The Netherlands." "The President" "So the story is about your country too, Holland." "Imagine the country five years later." "Everything's the same." "The traffic jams, the trains are still late." "They still have croquettes." "And coffee shops." "Typical." "They lose the championschips but still party." "Holland in five years had enough of all the political compromises." "Democracy was done away with." "The Netherlands wanted a president." "But it's not easy selecting a president." "Two months before Election Day there were two candidates left." "On one side Mrs Heesters." "I want to be quite clear and tell all these immigrants:" "There's a limit to our hospitality." "And we've reached that limit." "And trailing behind on the other side:" "Fred Vlonder." "Former businessman and successful owner of outlet stores." "Keep smiling." "What about illegal immigrants?" " What a good question." "Don't go into that." "He's trouble." "It means being in a society illegally." "It's a problem we must..." "Fuck off, you liar." "The elections came to a halt." "There were riots." "Everyone wondered if anyone could still save the country." "A real leader." "Where was that ray of sunshine?" "A strike, being on strike..." "Stop working temporarily to take over the power." "I've cut my finger, damn." "I hate this job." "Talk Dutch." "How long have we been here for?" "OK." "I hate this mud, I hate these white carrots and I hate you." "Why?" "Shame on you." "I love you the same way I love my father." "If I wasnt so..." "So what?" "You never finish your sentences." "What do you mean?" "Listen to my plan." "We must go." " Where to?" "We need the money." "Let's do other things." "A different job." "Let's work at a disco." "Lots of girls." "We could stand at the door." "It's Ladies' Night tonight." "It's just us here." "Come in, girls." "Let's stop working temporarily." "You, me, Bekir, the Bulgarians, all of us." "Work with the Bulgarians?" "They're evil." "Look at the dog face." "The Bulgarians are no good." "Look it up in your book." "Hello Mum, what's up?" " Where's the money, son?" "Hello, Asparagus firm 'Hamid, Put it in, Take it out'." "I've got to go, Mum." "Leave him alone." "Let him go." "Go fuck your mother." "What do you want?" " We're pulling out carrots here." "4 euros 95." " So what do you want, Allah?" "What do you want?" " Pederast." "Keep working you." "Bunch of creeps." "What's this?" "What are you up to?" "Where you actually working?" "No good." " Asshole." "Reading is no good." " I'm not working anymore." "Guys, stop working." "Stop." "OK, it's about an hour's walk." "See you later, sand niggers." "Yo dizzy." "No, you dizzy." " Yo dizzy, ass." "Never mind, friend." "It doesn't matter." "You know..." "It's not us who stink, it's the world, the Dutch say." "This must change or I'll kick you out." "You know what that means." "Hello, girls." "Your skirts having a break too?" "Feel like a vodka later on?" "I'll be waiting for you." "What the hell is this?" "Hey!" "Tomorrow at 7 o'clock sharp or I'll take you to the police." "Get lost, you asshole." "Let me go." "Don't touch me." "Let her go." "You asshole." "Let her go." "OK." "You heard what the gentleman said:" "Let her go." "Because you have no papers." "Everyone inside." "And quickly." "Come on, friend." "Let's go." "Osama, what are you still doing out here?" "Piss off, dog breath." "You jerk." "What do you want?" "Cheers." "Be careful, Uncle." "They're drunk already." "I'm going to win." "You'll see." "Hey, wake up, Uncle." "Uncle Hamid, wake up." "It seems prime-minister Heesters... wants to carry out her eviction policy before the election." "In plain language:" "a boundary is a boundary." "We've just got to carry out the evictions." "You're a long way behind." "Is this the end of your career?" "No, of course not." "And I think that..." "It's just a dip." " Sorry, no comment right now." "Our special program for all you immigrants." "This is Plop the Ball." "Plop the Ball." "Plop the Ball." "Kommolotien." "Kommolotien." "Plop the Ball." "Calm down, Zidane." "Sit." "Calm down, Zidane." "Get back in your kennel." "Barking dogs don't bite." "Barking dogs don't bite?" "Usually they don't." "The brothers are pigs." "You understand?" "The brother Kees..." "Pigs." "Where are you from?" " Slatina, Rumania." "I'm Joes from El Machroub, Morocco." "The funny thing is that it isn't much better at home." "You're strong." "I can see in your eyes that you're strong." "You can do anything you like." "Give me some money and I'll read your hand." "No, that's not true." "Something spectacular is going to happen to you." "Be careful with your heart." "What's your name?" " Mila." "You're a dreamer." "Kommolotien." "Police." "Police." "Any illegal immigrants in there?" "What are you doing?" " They can't come in now." "But we can't get out." "My vodka." "Take your foul hands off me." "This is a legal business." "What a bunch of chickens you are." "I'll put it out." "Where is Mila?" "She's still inside." "Let me go." "Joesoef, come back." "Mila." "Joesoef Ha is a young Moroccan asparagus cutter." "He came into action while others stood by." "He couragously saved the life of a policeman." "Joesoef my brother, you're alive." "Calm down, calm down." "You're on TV." "He's awake." "Joes, our hero." "No questions, just photos, ladies and gentlemen." "Congratulations on your speedy recovery." "I'm so happy to be able to shake your hand." "That was all." "Thank you." " That's all." "Thank you." "No press." "No press, please." "Turn it off." "What a wonderful thing you've done for our country." "I always say:" "One day without attention of the press is like..." "I haven't even introduced myself." "How rude." "Gert Vlonder." "Candidate to the presidency." "This is my media adviser Aart." " You OK?" "Of course he isn't." " Silly of me." "What's all this about?" " Here you are." "Fond regards." "Is this mine?" "That's great." "Thank you very much." "Joesoef Ha?" "His name is Hasani." "He asked me your last name." "I started to say H..." "He quickly wrote down Ha." "I said, hold on." "I'm Hamid H..." "So I'm Ha Ha." "What's he saying?" " No idea." "Look at my date of birth." "11 September?" "11 September is the day that you can light your candle" "That's 11 November." " Saint Maarten." "Oh, that's in November." " Thanks." "Stick around." " Look." "ILLEGAL PERSON RISKS HIS LIFE" "A NATIONAL HERO IS BORN" "A GREAT EXAMPLE." "MODERN HERO." "Even:" "MOROCCAN HERO." "Where?" " On page 3." "Where is Mila?" "Look, her." "I want to see her and say hello." "We haven't actually been able to... save her." "It's hard for me to tell you but she's gone to the other side." "What's he saying?" " I don't get it." "Is she dead?" "Dead, yes." "That's what I was trying to say." "Is she..." "Dead." "Is she dead?" "No." " Yes." "But this is about you, Joes." "We believe in you." "We want to make you a proposal." "We want you to be on the list of candidates." "No, we want you to be our running mate." "You want him as your running mate?" "He says you'll be their running mate." "Running mate." "That's..." "Mate, running." "We fled, the police were after us." "Now you'll be their running mate." "There are millions of chicks in this sea." "You get it?" "All for the grabbing, Joes." "Don't bother." "Thanks anyway." "Are you sure?" "We can stay friends." "But not too close." "Morocco isn't my favourite." "And that's where you'll be going." "Give him the passport." "You're frightening him." "It means going back home." "To a lot of sand and goats." "Think of the money we can send your mum." "Will he have a salary?" " Sorry?" "Salad?" "Salary?" "Of course he will." "Did you hear salad too?" "And a car?" "Ladies and gentlemen, here is our hero of the day." "He's my running mate, Joesoef Ha." "On top or Underneath." "It's best to start at the bottom." "The reason we have such a bad reputation... has everything to do with the mismanagement... of our former prime-minister Ursula Heesters." "I want to create a basic principle for a normal society." "A society with courage." " Take it easy." "Our slogan is:" "On top or Underneath." "You're looking smart." "Turn around." " Why?" "Turn around, man." "Show me." "Come here, please." "Perhaps he's a better running mate." "Him?" "And we tell people he was the hero?" "They all look alike anyway." "You Dutch all look the same too." "Yes, yes." "In cleverness and brilliance." "No, when on holiday in our country and being intolerant." "You come over to get a tan but you don't like brown people." "Hello, Mum." " It's me, Hadj Mustafa." "Hello." " We're proud of you, Joesoef." "When are you sending some money?" "I heard Internet banking is very fast." "Don't make your mother wait." " No, no." "You've made us all happy." " Fine." "How's my son?" "Tell him he can do what he wants." "As long as he doesn't come back." " OK, I have to go." "Bye." "Nice car, isn't it?" "Real leather?" " Pig's leather." "What does a running mate do?" " Nothing at all." "Just smile a lot and we do all the work." "One thing, Joes." "Never ask a voter what he wants." "What would you say if I asked you what you wanted?" "He'd say Mira." " I'm asking him." "If you'd ask me I'd say:" "A Ferrari, Versace, Gucci, Rolex, yo Dizzy?" "Yo Dizzy?" " Yes." "See?" "Everyone wants something." "Don't give people a choice." "Exactly." "Everyone wants something." "Could you please stop doing that?" "Just don't ask people." "Never become concrete." "Never." "It causes hell." "You are our sweetest ray of sunshine." "Sweetest ray of sunshine..." "Don't say anything about asylum rights." "Just avoid the subject." "I think the lady likes a bit of culture." " I'd like something to drink." "What's all this dandruff?" "It won't work that way." "We don't operate on just one policy." "We'll have to win first." "Of course we want to fill Heesters' gaps." "The gaps she created." "But it takes drastic..." "Hey." "Drastic measures." "But once we've won we'll have to see if we still want the same." "If I understand correctly you're telling us you have no opinion." "You're not saying anything." " You're not listening, silly." "Let me rephrase that." "I think it's silly to think on a small scale." "Are you listening?" "Negative thinking is like driving on the wrong side." "You lose touch with the advantages of staying on the right side." "Next question." "Your running mate, Joesoef Ha, is very popular." "What will his role be?" " Joesoef Ha?" "He's going to advise me on human aspects." "He's a Moroccan, a people's man." "What do you mean exactly?" " We'll be discussing everything." "Exactly?" " I'm going to enjoy it." "Know what?" "I'll ask him myself." "Because he's here." "Joesoef Ha." "Hold on." "He isn't prepared." "This wasn't planned..." "Welcome." "What's your role after the election?" " Good question." "I..." "May I?" "I'm sorry?" "I'm asking Mr. Ha." "What about the traffic-jams?" " Traffic-jams?" "Yes." "Traffic-jams..." "Congestion..." "The flow of blood to your heart stops." "Shortness of breath." "Your head..." "There's pressure." "You feel you want to go home." " What I mean..." "I can say all sorts of things, but it won't be of any help." "You can't save a goat from drowning." "A cow from the well and the sheep from the dyke." "Wind it up." "That's my uncle." " Oh, great." "He hasn't got a girlfriend yet." "I don't know what you mean." " Exactly." "What would you do?" "I'm a show host." "My opnion doesn't count." "No, no." "My opinion doesn't count in this issue." "I'm not a candidate." "No one can solve the traffic-jam problems on their own." "But we can together." "All of us together." "Together we can solve all sorts of things." "You see?" "Joesoef from Morocco?" "He listens to us." "Joes is a great guy." "He listens to people." "The others are liars." "He's so handsome." " He's one of us." "He's not afraid to show his vulnerable side." "Joes is our country." "It's our country too." "Vlonder is catching up." "Running mate Joesoef Ha is very popular." "His clear view on situations..." "We've been talking a lot lately." " You can say that again." "We want to..." "May I?" "We want you to become a candidate for the presidency." "My cousin?" "My cousin a president?" "He's a candidate." "We're doubling our chances." "As there are three of us, we'd better work together." "Divide and rule." "You see?" "So you can become a candidate for the presidency of Holland." "It's an offer you can't refuse." "Do you think he understands that?" "When can my cousin start?" " What if he starts radicalizing?" "What do you mean, caramelize?" "You say such funny words." "Aart says..." " I said radicalize." "Why act so hostile towards him?" " I didn't say caramelize." "Radicalize." "What if I don't want to?" "There's no way back really." "We're almost as popular as Heesters." "If we don't do this..." " Our passports." "Exactly." " For instance." "Do it for your mother." "That sounds beautiful." " For his mother." "Pseudology." " Pseudology." "Using imaginary experiences as if they were real." "Sanguinic." " Hothead." "I'm using plain language." "We can do it by sending people back to where they belong." "Closing the borders." "Creating space and purity." "We have the means." "That's so important." "She's mad." " In plain language." "What do the people think of this?" "Rubbish." " Rubbish?" "It's quite an art to say nothing." "You'll never be under attack." "It's very clever, I must say." "You're not saying anything." "What do you say to that?" "Nothing?" "I can hardly get a word in." "You're talking about interests." "You can only see what interests there are if you're interested." "Interests, interesting." "It's the same." "Promises, promises." "You can't promise anything if you don't believe in it." "You keep on promising things." "Do you believe in them?" "I don't think so." "I can't promise you anything but I believe in you." "I believe in you." "We're in this together." "You're going to do it." "See?" "Not just me on my own." "The guy's really good." "He has a feeling for languages." "Smile." " Thank you very much." "It won't take long before we know who our first president will be." "Most of the Dutch seem to prefer Heesters." "But Joesoef's surprising final sprint hasn't ended yet." "I've just received the latest figures." "We're going to win." "I could have got that far too." " What?" "I could have got that far too." "We're winning, aren't we?" "We?" " Yes." "Winning is winning." "See how much fun this is?" "I prefer them younger though." "Hey, fuck head." "Ladies and gentlemen..." "It's up and down." "They're still counting." "But they're telling me now..." "Just checking." "Can I say this?" "The Dutch can say they have a new president." "Their first president is Joesoef Hasani." "Champion." "This was a preconceived plan." "You wanted to get rid of me because I was sloppy and fat." "But it's only water retention." "Water retention." "So what?" "We won." " Yes, OK." "Do you know where my car is?" "Where's my car?" "Ladies and gentlemen..." "As your incumbent prime-minister I give you our new... president." "Mr. Joesoef Ha." "I, Joesoef Hasani... will carry out the tasks of the president of the Netherlands... to the best of my abilities." "I will protect and defend the constitutional law." "So help me Allah." "Praise and bless Him." "I, Hamid, will carry out my tasks as his uncle to the best I can." "He's my cousin." "Mr. President, it's an honour to be able to serve you." "There you are." " It's against etiquette, sir." "Isn't this just great?" "Are you allowed that at home?" "Don't ruin the furniture." "Stop it, guys." " Get off." "I told you it wouldn't work." " Sorry?" "What a huge garden." " There's room for a swimming pool." "We'll build a swimming pool." "No problem." "Swimming poodle?" " Swimmering." "We'll take this one, guys." "Have you got a driver's license?" " I can drive." "If I can ride a donkey, I can drive a car." "Mummy?" "Hello." "My son." "How are you?" " I'm very well." "My son." "President of the Netherlands." "Everyone's talking about you over here." "Have you got plans for the country?" " Of course I have... but I can't tell you by phone." "It's secret." "I bet it's like herding goats." "Remember?" "If you want them to go to the right or left, you just send them there." "And don't forget to give them water." "Yes, mum." "If they need water, I'll give it to them." "Listen, I have to go." "I'm really busy." "Goodbye." " Bye bye." "The president?" "Yes, he's in a meeting." "What shall we do now?" " Do?" "Nothing." "Nothing?" "But he's the president." "He's the boss now." "Presidents don't govern, they make compromises and amendments." "Stay away from it." " It'll ruin your reputation." "You can use your incredible talent to unite people and listen." "Exactly." "So the two of us can govern and support the country." "That's it." " With them and for them." "OK, guys." " Cheers." "KNOW YOURSELF" "Dad?" "Dead." "Ahoy president." "Come for a swim." "Who says 200 LCD-screens are too many for the palace?" "Which minister?" "Give me his number." "I need his permission?" "Joesoef, where were you?" "We've been looking for you." "I'm going to look for her." "I have her address." "Where?" "I don't see anything." " Look, there." "What's wrong with you, friend?" "You know she's no longer here." "I received a sign." "You stay and swim." "Stay here." "I have to look for her." "Now." "You're still in love with her, aren't you?" "You're the president now." "Do you realise that?" "Take heart." "Sit up." "You're Superman, Batman, Spiderman, the Hulk." "You're Dirty Harry." "Of course your uncle will come with you." "If I don't, who will?" "Come on." "Come on, you guys." "I am Mila." "Joes, we've been everywhere." "Let's go." "After all, all women are exactly the same." "It's all in the past." "Let's go." "One more, OK?" "Just one." "I thought I'd never see you again." " I thought I'd never see you again." "Everyone told me you were dead." "I said no, I have her picture." "I looked at it every day." "But I'm here." "I'm alive." "It's a miracle." "Who's that negro?" " Daddy." "Calm down." "This is the president of the Netherlands." "I don't care who he is." "Get those hearses off my ground." "And fast." "And go and dry the pots for the preserved chicken livers." "What are you doing here?" " I've come to get you." "Holland was a failure for me." "So I went back home." "OK?" "Mila, come with me." "What can I do in Holland?" " You can do what you want." "I'm the president." "You think you can have whatever you want now." "I'm not a sports car or a flat-screen TV." "Flat-screen TV?" "Just because I dance with a pole, everyone thinks they own me... and can fall in love with me and have me." "In love?" "Did I say that?" "Mila, we can do something positive for the country." "You and me." "Mila, you're the fireworks in my soul, the oasis in my water tank... the drop of ice in my desert, the stone in my cherry." "I need you." "Honestly, Mila." "I want..." "See that, Schwarzenegger?" "And you're my..." "little ray of sunshine." "Let go of the negro." "Get back to work." "The sugar beets and coal need putting in the cellar." "And the wood and chicken livers." " Stop it, Daddy." "Go ahead." "Gert Vlonder." "What brings you here?" " I need to talk to you." "It must be serious." " We're no longer oppononts." "I need you." "This desert prince is done with cutting ribbons." "He wants to govern the country." "He will ruin it." "You can be sure of it." "I'll go and get it for you." "What if he starts radicalizing?" " We'll all become Muslims." "Exactly." "I won't be allowed to drink wine." " Nor gin." "I'll be walking around in a black bag." "Precisely." "No more short skirts." "So that's clear." "I get rid of the boy and I become the president." "And you can become first lady." "Excuse me?" "I become the president and you... whatever." "What do you have in mind?" " Very simple." "Bad publicity." "We focus on the woman." "Anything to make him look bad." "He looks bad enough as it is." "Very funny." "Good luck, sweet child." "I'll always think of you." "Kommolotien." " Kommolotien." "Perhaps we should have invited your father too." "He isn't my father." "He's my stepfather." "My parents were musicians." "They used to sing together in political cafés." "Where are your parents now?" "The old dictators thought it necessary." "They sang songs against dictatorship." "My father went away too." "He wanted to see the world." "I never thought about it." " You live and learn." "I'm Aart Hausmacher." "Pleased to meet you." "It's an honour." "Joes is one of a kind." "We're very likely." " Alike." "Cheers." "Good." "If you've had enough of him, feel free to call me." "Now, where were we?" "Cousin, this is my new girlfriend." "That's what I said." "We'll get ourselves a drink." "See you later." "A is for Allah that's what we call Joes" "B is for Boyko he likes pussy" "C is for chicky that's what Mila is" "D is for dollar without them it's hell" "I is for immigrants which we all are" "J is for Joes who has a small sausage" "K is for Kravmil who's always drunk" "L is for love which isn't for sale" "Mr. President?" "Mr. President." "The shit has hit the fan." "FIRST LADY A POLE DANCER?" "This isn't me." "I was never naked." "It's an escort girl." "Whatever we do, they'll try to make us look bad." "They'll fling mud at us at any chance they get." "We have to put a stop to this slander." "What about a charm offensive?" "Since the president's future wife was accused... of working as a pole dancer... the couple has started a promotional campaign." "Is this the editor?" "I have a great story for you." "I have a story for you." "Hold on." "Turn it off." "I'm on the phone." "The treasurer, Mrs. Van Tongeren-Rostinga." "With her watchful eye over the arts and crafts and diligence." "Mr. Van Gunteren-lttersum..." "Put me through?" "This is Immigrations?" "Why?" "I want the financial department." "Oh, my Dutch is no good?" "Water?" "Yes, I'm standing near water." "What do you mean, go back to my camels?" "Do you realise..." "Next I want us to cut down on public transport... social security and welfare." "No money into culture and film." "It's all rubbish anyway." "Some extra wage cuts and that's it." " I'm sorry, Gert." "All these things are the opposite of what the president wants." "We have to rule the country." " According to his principles." "That's what you say." " Don't you?" "I don't think it's sunk in." "I'm the one who determines the policy." "The unrest is increasing." "Trade unions say the president isn't sticking to his promises." "Certainly after the huge wage cuts and decrease in health care." "Joes, I'm going nuts." "What?" " Why am I here?" "What do you mean?" " I'm not needed here." "I'm just supposed to look like a doll and hang around." "That's all." "No, Mila." "Of course you're needed." "You're a beautiful doll but you're really needed." "What do you think, little man?" "Joes, this is no good." "Look at them." "And over there." "You do nothing." "Sometimes you need to relax." " Relax?" "That's all you do." "You smile, here, there, sit..." "That's all." "You're a puppet." " Don't talk to me like that." "You don't do much either." " Is it my fault?" "You're an ass." "What?" "Joes, you're the president." "What are you doing for the country?" "We were going to change things." "We're not doing anything at all." "People need you for a better country, for changes..." "To change the bad people." "The bad people." "The president speaking." "This is no good." "A woman is like iron, metal." "Start welding while she's still hot." "Don't you understand that women say things on the spur of the moment?" "A woman is like the currents in the ocean." "Sometimes she goes this way, sometimes that way." "If you really want her to believe in you, show her who you are... and what you can do." "Bad news." "'Dissatisfaction about President.' 'President denies policy.'" "How's this possible?" " Vlonder." "He's betrayed us." " Vlonder." "They're calling us liars." "We need a press conference." "We have to try and undo everything, if it's still possible." "Now." "One at a time, please." "Stick to your promises." " Public transport is lousy." "There's no care for the elderly." " One at a time." "Me." " Mrs. Petit first." "People are opposed to the diminished care of the elderly." "What do you hope to achieve by this?" "If that's the case my co-workers acted without my knowledge." "I'm sorry." "In that case everyone will be curious to know what's next." "I understand." "When we herd goats in the desert... and we send them to the left, they tend to go to the right." "So it's the same." "If goats go the wrong way, don't let them go." "That's what I'll do:" "Not let go." "Economy recovers, thanks to president Hasani" "That rotten Moroccan." "You blew it." "Your ideas aren't great either." "Yes, they are." " Such as?" "Mila, please call me back." "I'm sorry." "I know I've been stupid." "I made a mental note." "Please call me." "Take good care of Mila." "Joes, I want to show you something." "We must find a TV." "No problem." "He was my friend too." "It appears Joesoef Ha is carrying a false passport... so he can't reside in our country." "As I'm the vice-president I will take over for the sake of the country... and lead the country into calmer waters." "The bastard." " The assault?" "Was it the fat guy who tried to kill us?" "A blonde girl." "Show us, show us." "We have no passports, no papers." "We can't go back." " I know, but I promised them." "If that loser Vlonders becomes president, they need my help." "We're going back to the palace and stand up for our rights." "You're mad." " I'm the president." "The people are behind us." "You drive." "There are guards." "Rest in peace." "What's this?" "Have you gone crazy?" "We want our passports back." "And my presidency." "This is madness." "Let's go outside." "To the swimming pool." "I've a fear of hights." " Fear of what?" "I'm not going through that window." "The water's lovely." "Jump, jump." "Together?" "Jump, OK?" " Shall I?" "One, two..." "Wait." "You have to jump." "You and your idiotic plans." " What?" "You started it." "If you'd looked after the goats properly, all this wouldn't have happened." "Stop it." " You shut up." "Don't talk to her like that." " I'll talk when I want to." "You asshole." " You bastard." "Why is everyone being so nasty?" "Yes, what's the use?" "You're no good anyway." "What's he doing here?" " He's a chostage." "You mean a hostage." " Yes, a hostage." "The president's frenzied departure has caused a crisis in the country." "Former prime-minister Mrs. Heesters will take over automatically." "Although slightly premature, she will address the people in a live broadcast." "She can now call herself Interim President." "What has the bitch done now?" "I'm not having it." "I bet you knew all about this, Aart." "Come here, you..." "Calm down." " Disgusting." "I think it's disgusting." "We must hurry." "She's going to address the people soon." "Hilversum." " OK, President." "You're such a spineless goon." "Put the tape back on and put him back." "He's heavy." "He's like an elephant." "It's impossible, guys." "Of course it's possible." "I'm still the president." "Where are we going?" "Where's the studio?" " How should I know?" "I have to go." "I have to pee." "I just have to pee." "Fellow-countrymen, I want to say something to you." "I understand everyone's confused after all that's happened." "But I've really tried to listen to you." "Honestly." "I am your president." "I should not have to resign." "They say I'm not in the country." "But I'm here, aren't I?" "I'm here." "I'm here for you." "Stop filming." "Get rid of the press." "Evacuate the studio and remove this man." "This man is illegal." "There's no way he can make use of his function as he's trying right now." "Is this legitimate what you're doing?" "That's why I've decided that we..." "Joesoef..." "Joesoef..." "Behind the horizon there's a different world." "There are many colours." "We only have one life, Joes." "You must grab it." "Understand?" "That's why I must go." "Don't do what others tell you, Joes... but follow your heart." "Follow your heart." "Grab them." "Dear people, our president doesn't have legitimate documents." "I can't help it but you still need a Dutch passport in the Netherlands." "Don't make a fuss." "I don't want to be president anymore." "What?" " What did you say?" "I will resign, but under a few conditions." "So we're doing all this for nothing?" "What are they?" "We have to have new elections for a new parliament." "I hope someone will win who deserves to... and that my friend Aart Hausmacher may be a worthy Prime Minister." "I've met someone I love." "She went away." "I let her go." "I wasn't paying attention." "I thought I could win her back by being a good president." "I wanted her to be proud of me." "But the more I tried, the more power I was losing." "And you need that power." "Because without it, without love, you're nothing." "That's why I'm quitting." "I'm going to do what I should have done ages ago." "Which is spending time with her." "I'm choosing her." "Stop whimpering and go to your girlfriend." "May I say something?" "Someone once told me:" "Never ask people what they want." "They all want something different." "For instance:" "What do you want?" " A baby." "What do you want?" "I want to make documentaries about Africa." "What do you want?" "Big?" "See?" "Everyone has different wishes." "You can be a Muslim who likes croquettes." "You can be a Catholic and marry a Hindu." "You're all so polite to one another here." "But you're spoilt too." "In our village in Morocco we had bikes too." "But if they broke down we didn't go and buy a new one in the next village." "Or go to the cycle mender." "We did it ourselves." "We went to our neighbours." "Even if it was early in the morning." "What about breakfast, they'd say." "While some started to mend the bike... others made breakfast." "You have to keep communicating." "My village is like a family." "All countries should be." "Your family never lets you down." "For instance:" "Do you have a neighbour from Kazakhstan?" "Why not go and see him right now?" "All you people at home, open your windows." "Whether they open horizontally or vertically, open your windows... and start shouting through your open windows:" "Hello, neighbours." "Just do it." "Say:" "Hello, neighbours." "How are you?" "And wave as well." "Just do it." "Hello, neighbours." "Hello, neighbours." "See, it's working." "Everybody who's watching me, go to your windows and call out:" "Hello, neighbours." "All of you, shout it out." "Hello, neighbours." "Now, all of you at once." "That's how the president was no longer a president." "The country was OK again." "They had new elections, not for a president but for several parties." "They had endless discussions again." "They had their parliamentary democracy back." "Joes started his journey." "And that's about it." "People are always on the move." "Emigrating, immigrating." "It would be a shame to let such a beautiful world pass by."