"Kim, stop messing around with the appe-teasers." " They're for the company." " Who is coming tonight anyway?" "Phil's friend Sandy Freckle." "Cute name?" "Sandy and I grew up together, Kim." "He's the closest thing to a brother I have ever had, what with me not having a brother and all." "Do you smell weed in here?" "You know what, it's probably my jumpsuit." "It's made out of hemp." "Feel that." " Very Natalie Portman." " Well, we're both greenies." " Fuzzy, stylish." " Smart, nice, right?" "I thought it was." "So anywho, I am not gonna lie to you, gal of mine." "I am Pretty Jazzed about old sandy seeing the new Phil Knight." "200 pounds lighter." "Big sandwich entrepreneur." "And I can't wait to show off the hot, hot woman I have scored." "Touchdown." "Give me some of that." "Yeah." "That's Sandy." "Sandy's here." "He's at the door." "I'm gonna go get Sandy." "He's pretty gay." "Kim, knock it off." "He's a little bit nervous." "I can't put up with this all night." "I'die!" "Why don't you go see Craig then?" "San... where is he?" "Here she is, Kath Day, my fiancee/thong model." "It's such a pleasure to meet you, Sandy." "I've heard so much about you." "Phil, you son of a biscuit." "I mean, you told me Kath was a fox, but you didn't say she was responsible for bringing sexy back." "Take it easy, Cowboy." "And in this corner, wearing very short shorts, the lovely miss." "Let me guess." "Your older sister." "I'm blushing." "I'm going to the mall." "You're going to the mall, you might need a little lettuce." "You don't need to do that." "That's all right." "It's okay, honey." "All right." "Big hugs." "You're welcome." "Sandy, do you like pecans in your potato sad?" "I'm nuts about 'em." "Man." "Wait, wait, wait." "That's Sandy in a nutshell." "That is cute." "Puns." "I got to tuck my shirt in." "Sandy, Phil must look a lot different than the last time you saw him, right?" " Yeah, you lost like 600 pounds." " Actually, it was 200. 200 pounds." "Not 600." " I think it's more like 600." " Well." " Where's my Phil boobs?" " I Miss'em." "He used to eat bagels like life savers." "'cause he was huge!" " I see." " What do you think, man?" " Much you loving the Sandman?" " He's very funny." "Where's my boobs?" "Where'd they go?" "Where are they?" "= 106 =- " Desire "" "Sub VO :" "¤AkaZab¤" "Capture:" "YYeTs.net" "Subs-Addicts' [Sub-Way.fr]" " Jazz is not black." "He's a robot." " He was black." "And that's why they killed him in the first scenes of the movie." "Dude, Kim." " Kim, what are you doing here?" " Watching Tv." "You're not supposed to hang out at my work." "I got inrouble last time." " Do you rember that?" " Well, I want to see you." "Really?" "Yeah, I thought maybe after work it would be fun if you take me shopping and then go to a movie." "Yeah, okay, sure." "Dude, bro." "Yeah, no, I can't, Kim." "Derek and I are going to cafferty's tonight to watch MMA." " Yep, that's that mixed martial arts." " Yeah." "It's mixed." "Yeah, thanks a lot for leaving me hanging like a loser by myself on a friday night." "Well, you wanna come?" "No." "Dude." "Come on, baby, come." "It'll be fun." "Okay, whatever." "Come here, man." "What is your problem?" "I'm sickened right now." "Straight up sickened." "What, how come, dude?" "'cause I'm realizing that right now at this very moment that my main man Craig is whipped." "I wouldn't believe it if I didn't just see it for myself." "I am not whipped, bro." "Did she or did she not just walk out on you for no reason at all?" " Dude." " Whipped." "Dude, don't do that." "You're hurting my feelings right now, hard." "I wish I'd known you were going to hot dog on a stick." "I really could use a large lemonade, MMM." "Dude." "I can't, Kim." "I only have a few minutes left on my bak." "Sorry." "Pwease." "Man." "Stupid hot dog on a stick chick, man." "I totally asked for pepper Jack, and she gave me american." "Now I got to go back, dude." "So I guess you're gonna pick up a lemonade while you're over there too?" "Yeah, well, i'm gonna be there, so it just makes sense that I would, so." "Bring me back a cheese stick." "Yeah, and pick me one up too, bitch." "Bet you're wondering how I keephe weight off, Sandy." "Speed walking." "Speed walking saved my life." "Combined with fresh fruits and veggies." "And to keep it off, I get Jiggy with my lady 24/7." "Yeah, speaking of that i'd like to hear a little bit more about the child bride." "What els?" "I got my yoga certificate of completion from the learning annex." "That must make you very bendy." "Well, actually Phil's the real bendy one in the family." "You know, in india I was actually known as Yogi bear because I had perfected a move called "the sitting bear."" "Okay." "And Phil was just asked to speak at the American sandwich convention in sandwich, Illinois of all places." "Who is this Phil you keep talking about?" "Got me." "Oopsie." "Can I get you another peach Daiquiri?" "That would be peachy." "Sandy, I got a sandwich melts in your mouth." "And I'm moving, you know, 500 units a day." "That, my friend, is a lot of dough." "Literally." "I don't know about the Sandy man." "Phil deserves real props, and he just won't give it up." "And what was that business with the nut bowl?" "Very odd." "There's was plenty of room for two hands, and he brushed right up against mine." "Not so hot so." "In his defense, my reefer dress does accentuate my lady lumps." "Oh, my god, dude, he's got him in the lay and pray right now." "He's got him in the Lay and Pray, dude." "Yeah, man, that is the move right there that no mortal man can ever get out of." "While you're down there, why don't you just go ahead and kiss your sweet ass good-bye." "Got him!" " What's my name?" "!" " What's my name?" "!" "Now, will you stop practically making out with Derek and go get me some more ranch dressing and, like, a million napkins?" "Go ahead, man." "No, it's not my job to go get you" "Ranch dressing." "I'm not, like, in charge of that." "So if you want it, then you'll have to go get it yourself." "Probably." "Well, it's your fault I ran out in the first place." "It's my fault?" "I..." "Yeah, 'cause when you brought me these, you brought me too many wings and not enough Ranch." "So why should I be punished 'cause you can't count?" "I'm not gonna do it." "So that's it." "Just so you know, i'm gonna go use the men's room right now." "And if you'll notice, on the way is all the Ranch dressing." "And I could easily bring you this whole pitcher of Ranch dressing." "But guess what, i'm not gonna do it." "So..." " What's up?" " Could you get it for me?" "Pwease." "Morning, mom." "What's for breakfast?" "Hello, aren't you gonna ask me what I want?" "What is wrong with everybody?" "This is freaking me out." "I'm so sorry, Kimmy." "I'm just in a twizzle about this Sandy Freckle." " You want some waffles?" " Thank you, yes." "God." "I mean, I know he's supposed to be Phil's best friend and all, but" "I don't think he has his best interestsat heart." "And I'm meeting them for lunch, 'cause Phil asked me to." "And of course I'm gonna bring my usual a-game and my je ne sais quoi." "But I tell you, it's not gonna be easy." "'cause Frankly I don't like the guy." "There, I said it." "You think you have problems." "Craig's stupid new friend Derek has him thinking that he's the boss of me." "I think it's nice he has a new friend." "I don't." "I think it's a complete, huge pain in the ASS." "I mean, I spent years trying to train Craig, and then this guy comes along and screws it all up." "Kim, you can't train people." "Do you want the Blueberries in the batter or on top?" " In, please." " Right." "In." "I left my harp in Sam Frank's Disco." "You know, I was thinking of getting some sandwich jokes for my website, which gets, like, a zillion hits a day." "Toot-toot, excuse me, was that my own horn?" "You two are a riot." "You should have a Comedy Act." "For our high school talent show, we did a skit where Albert Einstein" "And Mc Hammer work at a drive-thru at a burger king." " A Whopper, please." " Can't touch that." "That's hilarious." "You must have been a huge hit." "Hey, you know, I just remembered something." "Coming in for a landing." "Okay." "How'd I do that, right?" "Now I'm here." "I downloaded these pictures of Phil and I back in the day." "I bet you've never seen a picture of Phil as a biggun." "No, I don't think so." "She's probably not interested in seeing that." " She will be." " Let me see, let me see." "This is Phil at the beach." "This is Phil stuck in his own car." "Right?" "He's trapped!" "He can't get out." "I love this one too." "This is Phil at Caesar's palace." "He closed down the buffet." "He shut it down." "They had to shut it down." "He ate everything." "Remember that, buddy?" "You know what, maybe we should put the pictures away." "No, you got to see the one of Phil and the horse." "I thought I burned all those." "I've really seen enough." "And Frankly, Sandy, I don't think you're being very nice to Phil." "It's okay honey, he's really just joking around." "For not understanding Sandy's sense of humor." "Keep a tighter leash on your gal?" "Am I right?" "I know you were just looking out for me, ma bear." "And boy, do I love that fire." "But come on, Sandy's my best friend." "Well, I'm sorry, Phil." "But when people are mistreating my near and dear, i'm gonna let them have it carte blanche." "That comes standard in the Kath day package so might as well get used to it." "Did you have to hit him with Both Barrels?" "He won't even return my phone calls." "Could you hand me the ponds?" "Yeah, but how could you just sit there while he humiliated you with those disgusting photos?" "Let me tell you something about man behavior." "We love riding each other, getting each other's goats." "We get off on chapping each other's hides." " What?" " What I'm trying to say, Buerbean, is that healthy, mature heterosexual men show affection by yanking each other's chains." "It seemed like he was yanking yours a lot more than you were Yanking his." "I was about to yank his chain good and hard until you gave him his walking papers." "I'll tell you, men really are from mars." "Women operate completely differently." "Take kim and i, we are nothing if not loving and supportive of each other." " Should we mud mask?" " Life's not a dress rehearsal." "Amen to that, sister." "All right, I'll extend the onion branch to Sandy for you." "Oprah, another show about packats?" "Who cares?" "Kim, I told you." "You are not allowed to hang out here." "Have you Eaten multiple pizzas?" "I got you lord of the rings 'cause I couldn't Findhidalgo." "But Viggo is hot in that one too." " Whatever." " Dude!" " What?" " Do youave popcorn here?" " Sure, I'll go." " Dude!" " What?" " What is the deal?" "Are you trying to get with my wife?" "No, man, no." "'cause that woman would eat me alive." "I don't know what it is about your lady, man, but she just got the special powers to make people get her stuff." "Look, I know." "I know it's easy to get sucked in by Kim." "But look, you gotta stand up to her." "You were the one that set me right." "You know what, you right, man." "We need to go back over there, and we need to tell her that she needs to stop bossing us around." "Okay, together, man." "Strength in numbers, brother." " Let's do it, yo." " Come on, man." "All right." "I can't open this." "Me and Derek have got something to tell you, okay?" "We're not your little servants, Kim." "Me and Derek are not here so you can just boss us around." "And that's it, so deal with it." "I don't know what he is talking about, man." "Dude!" "What are." " You got a pocketknife?" " No, I don't have a pocketknife." "You came up with this plan, dude." "This pasta salad is like a party in my mouth." "Thank you, Sandy." "And thank you for allowing me to make amends." "I would not want to be the woman who came between yours and Phil's male-on-male relationship." "That was a beautiful speech." "Mom, we're out of buns." "Keep your wig on." "I'll be right back." "Go get some more." " I gotta use the bathroom." " You just went to the bathroom." "Forgot to wash my hands." "Crazy weather we're having." " Gotcha!" " Sandy, you're such a pip." "Listen, I just came out here I wanted to tell you i'm really pleasantly surprised that you called me up and, you know, begged me to come back and all." "Well, you know, anything for Phil." "I like to keep my man happy." "I'll bet you do." "Listen." "Kath, listen to me for a second." "Let's take a little stroll down the Nitty-gritty street, okay?" "I feel like you've got an itch that only the Sandy man can scratch." " I need to get these buns to Kimmy." " Forget about the buns." "Just forget about the buns a second?" "I know what you're trying to do, Sandy." "You're trying to one-up Phil." "No." "I'm actually just trying to get up in you." " Is that right?" " That's right." "Sandy, this is bordering on inappropriate." " Well, baby, let's cross the border." " No, Sandy, stop." "Step away from my woman!" "Don't you "oh, hey, Phil" me, you backstabbing son of a "B."" "Phil, stop!" "You're in a rage of passion." " Stop it." " What happened?" "I just caught brad Pitt over here making the moves on my girly girl." "That's what happened." "I meant what happened to the buns?" "You're taking forever, mom." " Calm down." " I will not calm down." "That snake in the grass has stolen three fiancees right out from under my nose." " Three!" " Three fiancees for reals?" "You're not a freckle." "You're a mole!" " Phil, stop." " What are you doing?" "!" "I hate you!" "You're gonna gain all your weight back and lose that hot piece of ass!" " Old man fight." "I've never seen one." " I know, right?" "What are you doing here?" "I need to talk to you about this whole Derek thing." "Maybe we should talk outside." "It's a little distracting." "Yeah, you better run, bitch!" " Stop that!" " I'm still your husband, Kim." "And no one else gets anything for you except me." "Not Derek." "Not anybody." "That's." "That's so great, because I was, like, freaking out for a little bit." "But all right, that is cool." "Cool, could you go get me my soda in the blue cup in the ding room?" "Dude, he's got him in the lay and pray!" "That is the lay and pray!" " I hate skinny Phil." " Do something." "Phil's gonna kill him." "Have you had enough" "Say mercy." "Say mercy." "Say mercy." "Mercy!" "Mercy!" "Phil Knight, the winner!" "That was amazing." "Phil, why didn't you tell me about the other fiancees?" "Believe me, cupcake, I was going to." "A million times." "I just." "I got scared." "I thought you'd think I was some sort of loser." "And I just." "I can't stand the thought of it." "Phil, I would never, ever, ever, ever think of you as a loser." "Ever." "You are my Phil bear no matter what." "God, how could I have been so naive?" "I mean, one fiancee, okay." "But two?" "Three?" "You're pushing it, buddy." "But this, this just takes the cake." "It takes the whole bakery more like." "Listen, don't blame yourself." "Sure, most men would never invite a man back into their lives who'd stolen three of their fiancees and undermines him at every turn." "But you have such a big heart." "You're so loving and kind that you believe the best in people." "That's what I love about you, Phil." "That and the sex." "Those other three women, they weren't worth fighting for." "You are, Kath Day." " You're money." " Ditto, Phil." "Twofold." "And let me tell you something." "I am really, very seriously considering not asking Sandy to be my best man at our wedding." "That's for sure." " I really like these hemp shorts, mom." " I know, aren't they comfy?" "And what's so great is that when I'm done with them I can put them in salad." "They pay for themselves." "Look, there's a thingy in here dedicated to infamous homewreckers." "Did they put you in there?" "I'm homewrecker." "That's a person who tries to break up a happy relationship." "Yeah, vis, vis mine and Phil's." " That's funny." " I know, I thought so." "Angelina Jolie is in here, and so is Denise Richards and Madonna too." "Do you really think she had an affair with a-rod?" "I don't know." "I'll tell you, that is an unsolved mystery." "But that a-rod should be called hot rod." "What a bod on that guy." "Kind of reminds me of Phil." "You're funny today, mom." "I'm serious." "Team Subs-Addicts'"