""I'm one of the few people moderately lliterate who takethe detective story seriously"." "I have always enjoyed saying i was adopted... in the most unexpected occasions." "Peopie feel special for listening to such an important secret." "I find it quite amusing." "I am 33 years oid and was adopted by Berta, who was born in 1933." "September 9th, 2001. i decided to fumble the past... and started my search for my biological mother." "I chose a twisted way." "I went to see some detectives to ask for clues." "There, started my conversion into a compulsive distrustfui person." "I created a method and an end:" "I had only 33 days to search." "In the mornings and afternoons, investigations." "At night, i went out for images." "Few lights and emptiness." "THE beginning:" "SÃO PAULO detective CARLOS LACERDA i worked for several years at the late snl, which was an "information informative agency", since you first have information and then investigation." "detective RiCARDO FERREiRA" "There are several courses, including correspondence courses." "An even precarious thing, but of fundamental importance, because it is the foundation, it's a start." "Above all that, i opened this detective school... also called Order of Detectives of Brazii." "Once i had accomplished a quite reasonable amount of property... from our Braziiian people... and also acting legally, teaching what is right." "At the time, my own brother graduated from my own school." "I have another brother who also graduated from my own school." "I have another brother who also graduated, you see." "We are basically a family of detectives." "It is detective, not education for a gang of robbers." "Aithough everyone in the family works with investigation... each one has his own style, and that's very interesting." "I'm not strict, but i offer my children two option flavors:" "You either follow me or move away'" "To err is human." "Is it?" "It depends on the err." "Is my staff doing the right investigation?" "Am i being assisted well?" "Ah, that is for sure." "I tapped all my phone lines... to even know what they think on an everyday basis." "And found several problems and fired many." "If you get a phone, you don't stop think, you speak out your mind." "Fishes die on the hook, human beings on the phone." "I get a lot of dough, and i'm fine with it." "And i get it from those who have it." "And i'm no goodie." "I may even look good, i'm good in what i should be, you see, but if i have to do some scam..." "Not to harm, i'd never harm anyone who were right." "Now, i'm not Jesus Christ, or Mary Magdalene to say:" "I'm a prostitute and whoever wants to should cast the first stone." "And i always got to a conclusion." "That the poor kill, the middle class gets physical, and the rich need detectives." "Your history to me is real, you see, because if you were born, you are a truth, not a lie." "When someone hands someone over, they might do it not because they want and simply for despair." "I could even say she might have been married and betrayed her husband and found out you were born, you would be born looking different." "Perhaps it was that." "Or maybe she couldn't afford it." "Or she was raped, who knows." "Rape scares people." "There is a single feeling:" "The recognition of that who brought you up." "Many people say:" "My mother is the one who brought me up." "I don't agree." "The one who brought you up was the one who gave you life." "It is a gift i want to give you, to have you find your real mother." "I want to give you a tape recorder for you to tap the line of your own surrogate mother." "You have a recorder there, you see." "At night you come to your mom, and go on with the same subject:" ""Mom, i love you, i adore you, but please do stop and think." ""I need to know who my real mother is"." "She will say: "My son, forget this matter, i don't know"." "And you go: "Mom, you're great mother, you never taught me to lie." "I'm not calling you a liar, i'm only asking you to think it over tonight and i'm not going to quiet down." "And i won't leave this house until i'm not told the truth"." "And when morning cracks down:" ""Mom, how are you, did you sleep well?" The same brainwashing." "She will certainly pick up the phone and call someone on Earth." "I'm telling you. 80% i guarantee she'ii talk to someone." "You'ii engage in Chinese torture, you see." "Not because you're evil, but to get to solutions." "And all that with such a silly device, a little device that cannot speak, cannot swear, and only works when someone takes the phone off the hook..." "To look for someone is a difficult task." "It's a task that doesn't require one specific technique because you start it one way and might end it another." "It's no use you run after things before knowing the basics, the essence of your story, and that's where you were born." "Because wherever it was, you were not born alone, there were people there, and these people will give you an answer." "If you were born in a hospital, then you've got to have a record in the hospital, because you were born there." "I think you've got to get to your mother, this lady, quiet and easy, without showing much purpose: "i got curious." "I'd like to know a bit more of my story, and so on"." "The secret of any investigation is that it is carried out in silence, not the one that is bragged about." "Leave the physician to the end." "He's the card under your sleeve." "Let him be." "If after all the investigation you're not successful, you still have him." "At least he will not have prevented your investigation, if he would have, but let's not take a chance." "It's the path i'd take." "We cannot foreteii anything else." "Whatever comes is the fruit of your start." "Now, if you have one that doesn't belong to you, you've got to torture him bad, you see." "You've got to be a pain in the ass." "You've got to go to the doctor's house everyday and say:" ""Doc, i'm here." "I want to know where i was born, you know the truth and i want to find it out." "For me to be in peace and you to be peace, you see." "Piease, tell me"."But, boy, you're nuts, i don't know a thing"." "He won't sleep at night either, you see." "One is torture, and so is the other." "Your surrogate mother and the doctor will be totally lost." "Your surrogate mother did wrong, you see." "The doctor, that is not a step for anything, he is nothing but a complete asshole to me." "The words of Detective Carios persecuted me for days." "In my childhood -the time of military dictatorship in Brazii - my father was a communist and our phone was bugged several times." "I was not doing the same to my mother." "Detective Carios found out at ieast two ways of getting on my nerves:" "He threw up ready-made sentences and whispered secrets to the camera." "I hated the word surrogate mother." "At that time, i realized the trouble i had got into." "I also opposed Detective Ricardo's idea that the investigation should be conducted in silence." "To the contrary, the media was one of the strategies i used." "There's some kind of taboo and few speak out they are adopted children." "My precarious techniques moved in the opposite direction." "destination:" "BELO horizonte" "claudia, MY wife, AND i MADE UP AN investigation DUO." "September 17th, 2001. i interviewed Berta, my adoptive mother." "From the scratch of this projet i felt this would be the tensest day." "I wasn't wrong." "I felt like a scoundrel." "Jaime and i got married in 54, and certainly it was the unquestionable dream of any woman." "Whether one wanted or not to be a mother..." "Everybody wanted to." "This feeling was, so to speak, general." "Every woman wanted to." "And time went by and i couldn't get pregnant." "I underwent many treatments here in Beio Horizonte." "I went to São Paulo many times too." "I think we even went to the limit of what treatments had to offer then." "And as none of them yielded any results, it was more than natural that we thought of adopting a child to be ours." "My whole family did, and there was much pressure on this, and this bothered Jaime and i a lot." "Everybody asked: "So, when are you going to have a baby?"" "There's huge expectation about the day it's going to happen." "It's a very difficult period." "Difficuit because you look for something and things are tough, but when it happens it is so much passion, so much emotion." "I don't know if it is greater than delivering a child, for i never delivered one." "But emotion fills you up for a long time, and the admiration you have for that child, the child you are going to adopt, is a very beautiful thing." "One day i got a call from my pediatrician and he said:" ""Go to such and such address on such and such street, and go there and wait for me." "Because there's a boy there"." "It was raining heavily and i called my sister-in-iaw to come with me because i was already very nervous at home." "The address was Augusto de Lima Avenue," "Genoveva building which is still there to today." "I don't recall the floor." "We knocked on the door and a lady answered it." "She didn't know us, she only knew we had been sent by the pediatrician" "And she simply turned to me and said:" "This child here will be yours." "And it was like this; i cannot put into words what i felt then." "Because i was chosen too." "Like my son was chosen, i was chosen too at that moment." "THE LADY THAT mediated MYADOPTiON WAS ASPiRiTUALiST." "And we waited for some time and the pediatrician came in and started to examine the baby." "He started to check on everything that was possible for a child days oid" "And... i started crying." "I'm a real weeper." "But the moment called for tears." "Because i was waiting for an answer." "And this answer was always a no." "And at that time i only sawthe pediatrician, nodding his head, saying this was OK, that was OK." "That was the impression i had." "When he was done, he turned to me and asked:" "What's your child's name?" "And i said, "i don't know." "I'm so astounded i haven't even given a thought." "The only thing we knew was that the baby was born at the Santa Casa hospital" "and i think the time was 2:30 a.m." "I don't recall it too well, because it was in a tiny piece of paper." "We don't have any more data or news." "From this night on, i wouldn't sleep at my mother's anymore." "I left with the impression she was such an accomplice of mine that she would bearthe insanity of this project." "The fact was that the sincerity i offered hurt." "I arrived quiet at the hotel and went up to the 19th floor." "I was the voyeur of a whole city." "Whiie my mother looked for the note she had received 33 years ago, i had no time to lose." "I went to the Dona Genoveva building." "The adoption took place in some apartment there." "I feared the doorkeeper's reception." "I pictured a grave face and a man of few words." "In times of violence, that's the rule." "That's not what happened." " How long have you been here at D. Genoveva?" " Weii, about 33 years..." " Reaiiy?" " That i deal with all these people." " So you'ii help us..." " if it's possible, it'ii be my pleasure." " I'ii tell you a story and then you can help me..." " Don't make me cry." "Spirituaiist." "Let me search my subconscious..." "Let me go to the 17th... no, there's no one there, they died." "Yes." "D. Seima Brant, they died." "Now, on the 16th, there are only those with that age." "Oh no, there are the Mirandas." "It's our supervisor." "Nádia Miranda, herfamiiy have lived all their lives here." "But she's not that oid, only if it was her mother who did it." "I have a piece of bread there, if that's sausage, you may well put it inside the bread." "Oh 14th, there's Dr. Heivecio." "It was Dr. Heivecio's nowthere's his wife, daughter, granddaughter and great-granddaughter." "Very sophisticated -just girls i think it is luxurious, for i only like girls." "I tried THE RECORD OF residents in 1968." "I can ask forthat, i'ii get it foryou." "Let me go back to the 10th, you confused me." "I REPEATED MYAGE." " That's the age of Christ." " It's mine too..." " You'ii die in the cross!" "26 apartments had phone devices at Dona Genoveva." "I was adopted in one of them." "My mothertoid me the phone wouldn't stop ringing at the time of my adoption." "Fourfamiiies had Jewish surnames." "I crossed them out immediately." "Berta wouldn't forget the name of a Jew like herself." "Besides, spirituaiistic Jews are a rare syncretism." "Tomorrow is a double day, because tomorrow is the 20th of the month and the 13th day of my "33"." "Tomorrow is Friday 13th, although it is the 20th, because it is the 13th day of "33"." "Conceição is a woman that has already done it all." "My nanny was a fortuneteller and increased her income by selling clothes to prostitutes." "She lives with Berta until today." "I asked her to tell me what my mother told her at the time." "She also talked a lot with aunt Eva, who was a witness of my adoption." "They went to the house of a woman who was a spiritualist at Augusto de Lima Ave, but i don't know, i know it's this side of Raui Soares Square, but i don't knowthe building." "There were a lot of people at the house." "And Ms. Eva had the impression she saw a pretty girl from the distance, looking and crying." "That's all i know." "Ms. Eva had the impression she could be your mother." "She passed with a kerchief like this, from the distance, a very beautiful lady of fine traits..." "Then, it downed on me." "I said:" ""She's probably a country girl, a spoiled girl, and they sent herto this house, to have the baby and get rid of it." "She must have gone back home, got married." "That's what i think." "I don't know anything else." "That's my suspicion." "Because i saw this happen in Oiiveira, then i drew the conclusion." "I said:" "This is some kind of rich girl, from a small town, because that's the practice in Oiiveira:" "The girl gets pregnant;" "they send her away to Rio de Janeiro." "She comes back home without the baby and gets married." "Then she gets a chicken craw, fills it up with blood." "She's a virgin." "THE sister:" "MÁRCiA." "The most interesting thing is that one day i was coming home from school and my mom turned to me and said: "i have a surprise for you in my bedroom"." "And i rushed to the bedroom and said:" ""My brother"." "And there you were in the cradle." "To talk about my adoption, to talk about that... relates to many things to me, of being an expected child, a beloved child." "This is Ms. Eva's imagination." "She swears the woman was a spiritualist; i'm not sure about that." "She can give you more details on that." "The next day, she turned to me and said:" ""Wouid you like to meet the biological mother, his mother?"" "I said: "i'ii go"." "Then she said:" ""I'ii say you're my cousin"." "And i answered OK." "And there we went." "When we got there, she introduced me as a cousin." "And said: "your baby has a very good family and he'ii be very taken care of"." "And i got to know her." "She was tall, light skin, curly hair, very tall." "Her legs were in bandages, perhaps because of varicose veins, both legs." "And when the lady said he had a very good family and all her tears, you see." "She cried a bit." "But we did not take long there." "It crossed my mind she might be making that up to make the interview richer." "I asked herto go on." "Not too young, but she was young." "She was very moved... you see?" "I can't tell you precisely, but she was young." "About twenty-eight, i believe." "I don't think she was thirty yet." "No." "She didn't look like you." "She didn't." "You must have taken after your "daddy"." "She was lighter; her hair was slightly curiier." "Her skin was iight;" "that i remember well." "She had brown hair, not dark like yours." "So i do think you've taken afteryourfather." "Conceição told me that once ourfather was going up Contorno Ave." "When he saw a man inside a carjust like you." "He was impressed and he tried to follow the car, but he couldn't." "I don't know now that i'm looking at your eyes..." "The smile." "I don't know." "But you are not like her." "You're not like her." "I don't know, if you meet her one day, perhaps." "I don't even know if Berta knows she asked me to come see her and i don't even know if Berta knows i did." "I think she does." "I think i told her, i don't remember." "I avoid saying much, you see." "But i did tell Márcia, "i met Kiko's mother"." "A real family plot, it is." "No, she told me afterwards she had been to a house near Contorno Ave." "Or so, and she met the mother and that she was very sad, and that she had a serious varicose problem." "Sometimes i wonder what happened to her." "I don't know if she was from out of town, if she was from here." "Aii i now is that she was in this house and perhaps she worked there." "And i ask myself, "What would that be?"" "Many times, i felt like going there, when you were little." "Go by, i wondered if she was still there, if she still worked there." "But i felt i shouldn't." "Then i thought: "Oh, no, i'm not touching this, you know" " Let it be"." "The scene of a woman with her legs bandaged possessed me." "Legs violently united hiding a hole in the middle." "I tried to dream of her but i couldn't." "Eva did not remember names or places." "At that time i thought it would be better to forget the possible encounter between herself and my biological mother." "I woke up feeling well and outlined my strategies." "If we get there with the camera in hand, at Santa Casa, it is obvious they won't let us in;" "they won't let us touch anything." "We have to think of a way it will work and i have no idea how this will be." "The hotel phone rang and interrupted my anguish." "Great surprise:" "My mother had found the tiny piece of paper she received at the adoption." "Weight: 3k380" "Height: 50cm," "Umbiiicai cord with absolute alcohol." "No, umbilical dressing." "Has not been vaccinated against tuberculosis." "The letters were full of curves." "The note hadn't been written in a hurry." "I was entertained for hours putting togetherthe alphabet i did not what for." "I kept the paper underthe dusty ceramics turkey." "I noticed they did not clean the place quite often and that it would be a good hideaway." "That turkey was my "Maitese Faicon"." "With the right time and date and knowing i was born at the Santa Casa everything would be simpler." "I thought it was best to have the camera off." "I was assisted by a bad-tempered woman with dyed mustache and fat hands." "I said i needed some information of thirty years ago." "I made a mistake." "Time is my greatest enemy in this project." "The image of a pile of papers accumulated forthree decades scares people away." "I couldn't see the files." "I went out for a drink." "Today i found out the day i was born." "I was born on August 2nd, 1968, at 10 p.m." "At a hospital called Santa Casa, Santa Casa de Misericórdia." "I thought a last plan for this documentary could be like this:" "I'm sitting, and then Ciaudinha goes there and talks to the mother, i don't know what, but she manages to have the woman come towards me." "But then i stop, i stop and she walks by, this is crucial, she walks by," "The encounter would be the extreme melodrama." "What for?" "It is clear that i'ii meet her, what i'ii do afterwards is my problem;" "it is not for those who are watching." "I woke up with a dry mouth." "I remembered the classical literature detectives who used to drink and wake up fine the following morning." "My body did not have the desired reaction." "I spent the day crossing data and making guesses, so that i wouldn't feel guilty for being in bed." "Afew more calls and i was left with 14 possible apartments of Dona Genoveva's spiritualist lady." "As to the strategy of Santa Casa, i was sure having access was just a matter of time." "During the search, i wrote ajournai on the internet another game with the media." "I wouid write reports and received clues." "Some of them were true, others false." "Of the messages, i am going to tell Beatriz's:" ""I read classical police stories, influenced by my father, who died early and mysteriously, in an elevator pit." "Kiko, your search came too close to me for me to stay out." "I remember 68 well and i am an artist, capable of recording a face at distance." "We should meet immediately."" "I had coffee with Beatriz and it was great to meet the enigmatic woman, a lover of police stories." "I realized i was not alone." "I couldn't go home yet" "i CALLED THE DOCTOR WHO mediated MYADOPTiON." "Heiio." "May i speak to Dr. Fausto?" "Hi Dr. Fausto, this is José Henrique speaking." "I am Márcia Goifman's brother, son of Berta Goifman." "How are you?" "Weii..., Dr. Fausto i am in a project and i have already talked to Márcia and Berta and i really wanted, i've talked to my mother and my sister and i'd really like to talk to you." "I'd like to know if it would be ok foryou to talk to me." "About... i'd like to talk a little about my adoption." "We scheduled it for the following night." "The overwhelming building opened a new architectural school:" "Minas-Miami." "He got rich, i thought shaking." "The strategy was to make small talk to build his confidence." "Then, i would show my list with last names of Dona Genoveva's families." "In 68, as i graduated in 59, i had been in practice for 9 years," "and in the beginning we all... we all practiced medicine" "based mostly on books, on our own efforts." "I really can't remember at all whose house it was." "EXCUSE ME?" "I even rememberthe fact of being asked to go see that baby and, as Berta said, it seems like i told her." "That may even have been the case, but i do not remember specifically who did it," "because this intermediary would have been the house were i went to see you, you see." "And the names today don't match." "The frustration was not complete because i managed to get from him the diary with the appointments of 68." "It is amazing how organized some doctors can be." "I went straight to the month of August and copied the last names near the date of my adoption." "The unexpected came up that night." "One of the women i called had read the journal on the internet and said her husband, in addition to living in Dona Genoveva's in 68, today is the director of Santa Casa." "There." "The journal strategy had worked, and from then on i would go into Santa Casa whenever i wanted." "The following day, i woke up and had to kill time before going to the hospital where i had been born." "I went to the Central Market." "The secret of any investigation is that wich is carried out in silence." "Or she was raped, who knows..." "And she simply turned to me and said:" ""This child is here and will be yours."" "And Ms. Eva had the impression she saw a pretty girl from the distance." "Curly hair, very tall, her legs were in bandages." "A family plot, it is." "You'll die in the cross." "One day I got a call from my pediatrician." "I really don't remember at all." "The only thing we knew was that the baby was born in Santa Casa." "antonio CARAM:" "SANTA CASA'S GENERAL director." "At that time particularly, today things have changed, but at that time particularly, was notjust the fate of poor mothers." "It was also - and older people, nurses, and doctors also confirm that very calmly." "It was also the maternity for mothers who could not show their children or who had some sort of difficulty." "We are talking about a time full of discrimination, right?" "Aithough it was the late 60', even though it was a time of very intense social turbulence all over the world, and therefore we tend to associate it with new liberating ideas, liberalism, but actually, things were completely different, you see?" "Beio Horizonte was, as it still is in a certain way, a small city, a provincial city, right?" "Speciaiiy in terms of habits." "I was caught by surprise, because it was like that the proposal for this project was unexpected." "And it came by at a time i did not think it would." "But i, in spite of surprised, did not think i should interfere nor intervene, because i think curiosity or imagination, is something that lives inside of us." "Soon we are going to start recording our search in the files." "Maybe today we will be able to know the real name of my biological mother." "We are very anxious we have been waiting here for at ieast half an hour, and they haven't been located yet." "There are more than 7,000 boxes in this Santa Casa and of those 7,000, they are going to pre-iocate the ones from 68, and then we are going to have the search work." "One of the women who were helping in the search turned the page that would lead us to 68." "Biank." "No sign of torn pages." "I felt i was in a game." "Every time i thought i was close, i was wrong." "I left the "paradise of boxes"" "with the promise that they'd go on looking." "I was losing the ability of suspecting of everything." "I needed to meet the detectives again." "I visited Siiveira in his office." "He divided his time between investigations and the work as an evangelic parson." "As i was curious to learn everything, i decided to take the course, by mail, you see." "I took this course, and it really helped." "Because in practical classes, i could see things falling into place." "detective GAMA" "Detectives are not parrots, you see." "They are guys who have to be observers, attentive." "You see, my motto is the following:" "Why do have two ears, and one mouth." "So that we listen a lot and speak little." "Littie, the essential, though." "Sometimes a mother has a child from a father who doesn't exist, she takes it, donates it, for ignorance or anger." "I don't know why, you see?" "And then she doesn't want to see it ever again." "If the father was a crook, hurt her too much, then it means that;" "maybe the mother doesn't want to ever see it again." "You may not recognize her, but she will recognize you immediately," "You may not recognize her, but she will lay eyes on you, and you will feel she saw it's you." "And your aunt who was a witness to the adoption, she knows more than she says she does... it's that thing that you may get there and say:" ""Hi, i'm your son"." "She may be nice to you, she may collapse, or she may just turn around." "We don't know what her reaction will be." "So i think you'd better be ready." "Try to probe, learn about her situation, who she lives with, all that stuff." "If she has a family today, if, let's say her husband knows that she had a baby some time ago." "So i think you should first do the following, Kiko." "I mean, think if that's really what you want." "I think you first have to be sure." "Then you'ii be ready." "And think if it's going to be good for you." "Because in reality your mother raised you, gave you love, gave you all that you wanted in life, it looks like." "I don't mean the other did not do that because she didn't want to." "And if she's ok with it." "Because, regardless of you..." "being with another or not, when you find the other one, your biological mother, your mother, i think your mother now, you see will have half of you." "And she doesn't want to share you anybody." "And after 33 years, you have already been brought up, raised, all that business." "See, even though you may have a bond" "with the mother who put you into this world, she will be a strangerto you." "Then, she may also be looking for you, as we said before, but she may also have forgotten you exist." "You are looking for your mother, but you're afraid of losing the other mother." "You set an objective for yourself, but you're not sure yet and your mind is all mixed up." "Even you, yourself, are not sure you want this." "Gama offered me a beer." "I refused it, because another five minutes, he would devastate me." "We are trying to locate the house where aunt Eva was 33 years ago, where she met my biological mother." "This is being kind of difficult, but we're going to keep on trying." "Kiko, i think this is the one." "I waited FOR THREE cigarettes." "We rang the bell, asked the maid to call her boss, because the supervisor was out." "She called her boss." "In a striking coincidence, she says, her boss has lived here for many years, thirty something years." "She has had three maids who have had babies, but none of them gave them out for adoption," "and she knows one, i don't know, none has given them out for adoption." "nothing." "The other room was small." "It was a small room and the one we were at today was a room with an arch." "It was not the room i remember." "And also i had said she had come alone, but i'm not sure if we had asked, or if that lady who was with me asked the lady of the house to call her." "Something like that, and then she came." "But i'm not sure of anything either everything is here in my mind, like that, memories." "33 years oid..." " yeah." "Memories of 33 years ago." "I was upset today, because i got it all wrong, i took the wrong way." "Then i keep thinking whether it wasn't another way, if it wasn't another street." "I wouid never go to TV shows in which people look for relatives, but today a detective has to know howto use means of communication as a weapon." "I agreed to give an interview." "I watched it, very embarrassed, with my mother." " I am doing a documentary in which I use this very story, my history as the theme, you see." "A confusion between subject and object." "I am the director of the documentary and it is my history." " You are also the object." " Exactly." " It is kind of taboo issue, people don't talk about the possibility of meetingf a biological mother not as a substitution." "I don't want that," "I have my mother." "I am very happy with her." "I created a pretext to develop a story and the wish to know a little about the origin." "I receive really absurd clues, you see." "Suggestions to look for people" "I realize neither the date nor the place are consistent with my investigation, you see." "But I reply." "I also understand why it ends up creating an interest there this mixes reality and fiction, and they want to get involved with a detective author, and then we establish a relation." "That night Berta remembered that on the day of my adoption she had gone to the window and saw the avenue Augusto de Lima." "A new clue." "My mother's willingness to help scared me." "And i felt worse and worse." "There were only eight possible families left in my list." "I don't believe in fortuneteiiers." "It was a weekend and i couldn't go ahead with the investigations." "I looked for Conceição again." "She was a great friend." "Both of us were girls, around 12 or 13, and i used to stay home alone." "My mother was a laundress, hers a seamstress." "Everybody said her grandmother was a witch, and that she had a little devil inside a bottle." "Then it was one of those old pieces of furniture, those old boxes." "We were snooping here and snooping there." "Then one day, we found a book and we started to read it." "She learned numerology." "What do you call the one of the hand?" "Paimistry, isn't it?" "Paimistry, she learned." "I only managed to learn cards." "You are going to have a very good surprise." " Good?" " And is about your mother." " She is alive," "here in Beio Horizonte." " Meeting her is going to be very moving." " Is it going to be good or bad?" " It's going to be good." " There is a man who protects her." " Father, husband, boss?" " It is neither a boss nor a father, he is ajack of all trades." " I'm not sure she is a housemaid." "It says she is working, but..." "She isn't a maid." "She might be a civil servant." " Weii, aunt Eva said that she met her soon after i was born, and that she was a housemaid." " She said she met her, did she?" " She said she went there." " But who knows?" "She may have studied and taken some course, because she isn't a housemaid any longer." " She may have lied to me." " Because what Eva told me was that she saw a very pretty girl walking by, with a handkerchief, crying." "Because she didn't say she had met her." " She told me it was there at the house." " I don't know." "She isn't a housemaid." " You father doesn't exist any longer." " Dead?" " You don't have a father." "He was an older person, married." " With her or with someone else?" " No." "With someone else, he was already married when he made you." "And then that's why she couldn't keep you, you see?" "But he has already died." " And she must be" "about 47, 48 years oid, something like that." " Isn't she too young, 47?" "She had me when she was fourteen?" " I know, but that's her age, she's not 50 yet, between 47 and 49, she isn't oiderthan that." " Then when i was born, she was 16?" " Yeah." "It must be." "And that's why, you see, she couldn't keep you." "Happy?" "I have managed to get another clue:" "The record of the people who lived in Dona Genoveva in 68." "The final information to cut out more suspected families." "I walked to kill time." "She didn't look like you." "You must have taken after your "daddy"." "Curiosity, or imagination, is something that lives inside of us." "You set an objective for yourself, but you're not sure yet" "This story belongs to you and we are part of your story." "It deals with the intimacy of a family." "You may not recognize her, but she will recognize you immediately." "She may also be looking for you, but she may have forgotten you exist." "You've got to be a pain in the ass." "You've got to go to the doctor's house everyday and say:" ""Doc, I'm here."" "Unfortunateiy i don't remember." "Now, socially speaking if she was a housemaid or not, that's harderfor us to know, because they usually looked forthese housemaid children, but there were a lot of middle class who also gave their children out for adoption," "exactly because of that social problem of single women having children." "The only information i have is that your biological mother was healthy." "I did not manage to pull out any other information." "With time almost up, i managed to get hold of the midwife who used to work in the maternity in 68." "I was probably born in the warmth of the strong hands of this woman in her early 80's." "Maria Luiza de Deus, full name." "There were nights when i used to deliver 18 babies." "There were nights 18 babies were born, there were days six were born." "There were days four were born, others ten, it varied." "The new moon, when the moon is new, when the new moon is close, there is one delivery on top of the other, and they are men, lost of men." "How come the baby, how do those contractions push the fetus, you see." "That is too beautiful, i can't wait for another delivery." "I dream i am delivering babies until today." "Hoiding a child, a life, for the first time, and help that life to live, holding that baby really warm... screaming, that is the most beautiful thing." "The sister was against adoptions inside the maternity." "The sister would say, "No, you can't give them out." "Chiidren are not dogs, and you aren't going to give them." "Take your child home."" "But when she said that, there were people waiting already, they took a car, sometimes didn't even see who it was, or who it wasn't." "There were those who left them in the nursery, who ran way, not many." "But when we took the baby to feed, we'd say:" ""Where is the patient from this bed?" "Where is the patient from this bed?"" ""Ah!" "She went to the bathroom."" "And then we would wait with the child, took it back to the nursery and stayed there waiting, you see?" "We would knock on the door, would open it, and there wasn't anyone there." "Sometimes it was because of money, that they couldn't keep" "Others, it was because" ""my father and my mother don't want, my family can't know about the child."" "Even i had some." "I have one, two, i have two adopted children." "But i raised with much love." "They are very good to me." "They arejust like they were my own children, and they don't remember no mother, nothing." "I didn't, didn't give them the chance to, "Oh my mother."" "I SHOWED HER THE NOTE" "SHE might recognize THE handwriting." " No one signed it," "how did you keep this piece of paper for such a long time?" " My mother kept it." " Right, she did it, poor thing." "And does she know what you're looking for?" "That you want to know the mother?" "How are you going to find it out..." "it's very hard, son." "I ended the interview with a hug and i had the wishful feeling that i knew that warmth." "Some old documents were still in the Santa Casa." "I climbed 7 stories seeking the name of my biological mother i did not count the days, i calculated time as hours." "nothing" "This announced search of the biological mother has been creating trouble, i always think i should just drop it all." "Many times i doubt i'd have any pleasure to meet her." "If i am giving into curiosity, this has already gone too far." "THE LAST CLUE" "The time for the project is running out." "Kiko received a business card in the hotel where he was staying." "The last name is of a family that used to live in the building where he was adopted 33 before." "I froze, i had the creeps and started to cry." "Three days before the end of the project, a concrete clue." "Oniy three families that lived in Dona Genoveva in 68 had been left in my final list." "The last name in the card showed that i wasn't wrong." "René Bittencourt." "We havejust received a clue from a person who called and said that his mother was the spiritualist lady who mediated my adoption, and who lives, who she used to live, in the Dona Genoveva building." "I don't know how much he knows about my biological mother, but we are going to find that out shortly." "I got in touch with him and he was silent." "I noticed he was really scared, very much involved." "Dr. René revealed something." "His mother was the woman who mediated Kiko's adoption, but she has died already." "It killed all hopes." "You can't find your biological mother." "René said he was also an adoptive child and that his mother has taken over 3,000 children from the streets." "I was just one of them." "He had lived with adoptions all his life." "He told me we were a moment of fright for our biological mothers." "We became a nightmare, and time turned us into guilt, shadows." "I was scared to find a corny ending, and i saw myself before a mirror." "Time to go back to São Paulo." "The feeling was that of many of the detectives created by Dashieii Hammett, Paui Auster, James Eiiroy or Manuei Vázquez Montalbán:" "When you're getting there, customer pays the agreed sum, and stops the search" "The customer i created was time." "The search, if by any chance it continues, will no longer be public." "TO BERTACUDiSCHEViTCH GOiFMAN"