"## [ Chorus Voca1izing ]" "[ Muttering ]" "[ Woman Sighs ]" "[ Woman ] I don't know ifl'm going to make it, love." "[ Man ] Yeah, you wiJJ." "[ Exhales ]" "[ Man ] I don't see them, Tulga." "[ Birds Chirping ]" "[ Man ] What'syour name?" "What's your name?" "[ Man Narrating ] In ApriJ 2OO4, my son Rowan was diagnosed with autism." "The fee1ing was 1ike being hit... across the face with a baseball bat." "Grief." "Shame." "This weird, irrationa1 shame, Jike I'd somehow cursed this chiJd by giving him my fauJty genetics." "Watching horrified as he began driRing away to another pJace." "[ Cying ]" "But this stoy isn't about the tragedy ofautism." "This is a stoy about how, as a fami1y, we did something cray." "How we ended up going haJmay across theworJd... in search ofa miracle," "but 1et's start at the beginning." "December 27, 2001 ." "Mywife, 8 months pregnant, and I were at a friend's house having tea... when, 1ike something straight out ofa movie, she sudden Jywent into contractions." "One quick C-section 1ater, whiJe they brought Kristin round from the anesthetic, I stood a1one in the private room with this little boy... we'd a1ready decided to call Rowan." "The clock on the wall said halfpast midnight... which meant, I rea1ized, that Rowan had decided to come into the world... exact1y sevenyears to the day, and almost to the hour, that Kristin and I had first spoken." "Arewegoing tote11 thestoy ofhowwe met?" "Well, you start because the first day I didn't talk toyou." "That's right." "Ofcourse she wouldn't talk to me." "[ Laughing ]" "Um, who would?" "I wouldn't." "But we met in India." "[ Narrating ] I'd been hired to write a guidebook to the region." "Shewas there doing research for her PhD in psychoJogy." "We couldn't have been more dimerent." "I was British, brought up part Jy in London, and part1y on a farm training horses." "Kristin was a suburban gir1 from CaJifornia." ", But the moment I saw her a voice in my head said, cJear as day," ""That's your wife."" "Yeah, that's right." "Thefirst night hesaid, heasked meto mary him, and, um- Must have been mad." "Yeah, and I" "And I said, "How manywomen haveyou asked to maryyou before?"" "So I lied and said, "None." Oh, it was a lie?" "[ Narrating ] We embarked on seven years oftraveJ and adventure." "We fina11y married, and settled in Texas, where Kristin got ajob as a professor ofpsychoJogy." "And I continued my career injournaJism and human rights, working main1ywith the Bushmen ofsouthern Africa's KaJahari." "When Rowan was born, and we began Jiving as a fami Jy, it was 1ike eveything had fina11y faJJen into pJace." "# Swing mejust a little bit higher#" "#Oba dia do## And then, it all fell apart." "[ Cying, Shrieking ]" "[ Narrating ] The worJd had once been our oyster." "Now it had narrowed down tojust getting through the next day." "No one cou1d even give us a definitive expJanation ofwhat autism even was." "Now autism obviously means a lot ofdifferent things to a lot ofpeople." "One could argue that people have different definitions." "All right, I'll have a go." "Autism is due to neurological abnormalities... in the early growth ofthe brain." "Autism is a neurological impairment... that influences a person's ability... toview theworld in a sociaJJytypicaJ way." "[ Grandin ] I had to Jearn sociaJ skiJJs." "SociaJ skiJJs can be taught." "But sort ofsocial chitchat lust for social relatedness, I'm not into that." "In autism the brain is able to detect more information." "Iftheir brain is being _ooded by Jots ofdetaiJ that the rest of us m iss, that cou1d simp1y get in theway ofbeing abJe to interact sociaJJy." "In addition the person has vey narrow interests... in specific topics- sometimes these are called obsessions." "Todaywe see autism as a big spectrum... that can range from the severely mentally retarded person... who is completely nonverbal... to somebodywho is a socially awkward mathematics or physics professor." "[ Narrating ] Our Jives became cJogged under a mountain... ofcon_icting 1iterature and information on the disorder." "The possib1e causes, treatments and prognosis." "[ Cying ] We tried eveything." "Behaviora1 ana1ysis, pi11s, creams, diets" "Wewere out ofoptions." "Hedidn't speakto us, spent hours 1ining up objects obsessiveJy, was comp1ete1y iso1ated from other kids... and subject to end1ess tantrums." "[ Cying ] I'm sory, sweetheart." "_is tantrums came in waves severa1 times a day, Jasting sometimes up to four hours." "Autism tantrums, they're not Jike normaJ tantrums." "They're oren neuro1ogica1 in origin, which means the chi1d is unreachab1e, impossibJe even to consoJe." "Point to where it hurts." "Does it hurt here?" "[ Cying, Coughing ]" "Did it hurt here?" "[ Shrieking ] ls it here?" "He's got a red mark here." "That's a big mosquito bite." "I think maybe that mosquito bite has inflamed- It's gone." "The flea is gone." "The what is gone?" "The flea?" "The flea?" "There's a flea?" "Okay." "Oh, oh" "[ Groaning, Cying ]" "[ Cying ] Hey." "Doyou want to see the baby goats?" "Goats?" "[ Cying ] Baby goats?" "[ Rowan ] Penguin!" "More hippo." "Here we go." "I want more hippo." "You want more hippo?" "[ Narrating ] I'd been keeping Rowan away from horses, because I thought he was unsafe around them." "But one day, he ran away from me onto the property ofmy neighbor, Stamord, and ran right up to his o1d mare, a horse caJJed Betsy." "She didn't spook." "Instead, her reaction was so gent1e, so submissive, I rea1ized immediate1y that he had some direct Jine to her." "The moment I put Rowan on Betsy's back, he began to speak." "He's a nice horse." "This deep relaxation, it's such a rare thing for him." "There's something going on between them that... even with a11 myyears ofdeaJing with horses, I just have never seen." "It's this mystey- but it's a vey beautiful mystey." "Just like autism is a mystey." "fee1s 1ike a- a warm sunny day afterwinter." "[ Narrating ] As Rowan began to open up to me for the first time, a 1ightbu1bwent on in my head." "I asked myse1f, why does autism have to mean the shutting down ofeveything?" "Why cou1dn't it be a gateway into adventure?" "Maybe even a gateway into heaJing?" " [Voices Chanting] - [ Narrating] It maysound odd, but I have something ofa histoy with traditionaJ heaJing." "In the course ofmywork with the Bushmen, I had, during the previous 1 Oyears, been introduced into their wor1d ofheaJing through the use ofa shaman." "The Bushmen, and many peopJes Jike them, address their spiritua1 di1emmas, their health dilemmas, their socia1 di1emmas, even their poJiticaJ diJemmas, through the use ofa trained shaman, who enters a state oftrance, ta1ks tothespirits, and comes backwith an answer." "As unbe1ievab1e as it may sound, in myyears ofworking with the Bushmen, I have seen many times, peopJe cured of a variety ofiJJnesses this way." "So I asked myse1f, was there a pJace on earth... that combined this kind ofshamanic heaJing with horses?" "I did some research." "It turned out that the p1ace where horseback riding actuaJJy originated... is the same p1ace, the one pJace on earth, where shamanism is in fact the state reJigion:" "Mongo1ia." " [ Rupert ] You want tojump with Betsy?" " [ Rowan ] J ump with Betsy!" "Okay, let'sjump with Betsy." "Betsy!" "Okay, let's go!" "Oh!" "Oh, no!" "Betsy!" "[ Rupert Narrating ] What ifwe were to go there, riding on horseback from heaJer to heaJer?" "What ifwewere to do something Jike that?" "When he first proposed the idea I just looked at him like, this is crazy." "We have an autistic son." "Incredibly difficult to deal with just getting through each day." "This is the abso1ute 1ast thing we need in our Jife right now... is togoto Mongo1ia on horseback." "rt'sjust- rt'sjust insane." "I mean, I don't even like horses." "We're going to ty to keep our tantruming autistic son on the horse?" "Going from shaman to shaman?" "Is this going to work?" "[ Rupert Narrating ] But that, eventuaJJy, is exact1ywhat I convinced her to do;" "togetherwewere to set omfrom UJaanbaatar, meeting with shamans aJong theway, then to a sacred 1ake, Lake Sharga, known for its hea1ing waters, and fina11y, ifwe cou1d find them, to the mysterious reindeer herders," "who live in the far north... where, I heard, the most powerfuJ heaJer in aJJ MongoJia Jived." "Aero-plane!" "Aero-plane!" "This isjust- It'sjust absurd." "[ ChuckJes ]" "[ No Audible Dialogue ]" "[ Rupert Narrating ] Our guide, TuJga, picked us up at the airport and took us into the capitaJ, UJaanbaatar." "I don't know what I was expecting exact Jy, but this depressed, post-Soviet city wasn't quite it." "I'd expected the open steppe." "Nomads, horses Genghis Khan a_d aJJ his warriors, not an urban s1um." "I think it wasn't exact1y Rowan's vision ofMongoJia." "[ Rupert ] So Jook, here we are in the autism world." "I'm preparing his morning chocolate milk." "These are all meds that are related to his autism." "This is Valtrex, which is the drug for herpes." "Okay, so we're gonna grind this up." "Then there's the heavy metals." "This is to help him metabolize the heavy metals that we know are in his body." "Vitamin E." "Yeast defense." "So this is to sort ofhelp him with his gut." "[ Kristin ] Which isn't he1ping." "Which doesn't appear to be doing anything at all, but it can't do him any harm- so what the hell." "And then this one here- l even forget why we're giving him this one here." "[ Kristin ] That's right- it's another type ofantiviraJ... that the doctor thinks might he1p as weJJ to suppJement the VaJtrex." "Right." "So, shake it up." "Okay." "That's ready for him when he gets up." "Nobody knows what reaJJy causes autism." "Autism, like many other disorders, is vey complex." "[ Baron-Cohen ] These days there is a consensus that genetics... is going to be at the root ofthe cause." "But we know that genes are not going to be the whole explanation." "Recently, there seems to be more problems with vey severe autism... that remains nonverbal, and is regressive autism." "And I'm vey concerned about environmental contam inants." "[ Man ] One theoy ofautism is that individuals with autism... are, you might say, a reaction to our envi ronment." "There's a 1ot ofpo11utants out there, there's heavy metaJs, there are pesticides." "This is having a huge impact on the human body." "There isn't much doubt that... an environmental factor will eventually be established." "And it may be that it has to interactwith the genes." "That that environmental factor only contributes to autism... in an individua1 who's a1ready got a genetic susceptibiJity." "[ Rupert Narrating ] Before our arrivaJ," "Tu1ga had been putting the word out that Rowan was coming." "The result was that shamans were traveJing in from aJJ over the county for the heaJing, in what we were told would be the Jargest gathering ofshamans... since the end ofCommunism." "[ Rowan Muttering ] [ Rupert ] We're going up to the sacred mountain... outside of Ulaanbaatar- Tsegan UJ is the name ofit." "And, um, nine shamans... are going to meet us there, and perform a ritual on Rowan." "I'm quite hopefu1." "I think it could be... interesting for a11 ofus." "We'regoing todowhat aJJ normaJ famiJies doon a- what day is it today- morning." "Um, we're going to go up a several-thousand-foot mountain... and perform a four-hour ritual with shamans." "Isn't that what all families do?" "[ Rowan Screaming ] Come heret" "We gotta go back!" "[ Cying ] Ruin!" "[ Cying Continues ] [ Chattering ]" "[ Rupert ] TeJJ you what, Rowan." "Let's go take a JittJe waJk down to the river." " Doyou want to have a waJk down to the river?" " r Rowan J I walk down to the river." "[ Chanting In Foreign Language ]" "[ Speaking Foreign Language ] [ Rupert ] HeJJo." "Thankyou for seeing us." "Uh, is really happy to receiveyou in Mongoli land, and, uh, his land and our land." "You come here and, really happy to receiveyou here." "[ Rupert ] WeJJ, we're vey gratefuJ to be here." "## [ Singing In Foreign Language ]" "Don't step on that, sweetie." "He's all right." "## [ Drumming ]" "## [ Singing In foreign Language]" "[ Woman Speaking foreign Language]" "[ Tulga ]" "[ Kristin ] Yeah." "Mental illness." "[ Rupert Narrating ] In fact, all the shamans concurred... that a recent ancestor a female ancestor, on _ristin's side, was somehow c1inging to Rowan." "Perhapstyingtoharm him, oreven puJJ him away." " ## [ Drumming, Singing ] - [ Rupert ] Ifhe doesn't want to have a drink ofit, is it okay, orcanwe?" "[ Chattering ] Have some water." "Here's some more water." "Have some water." "Water." "Out ofthe box." "Water." "Water." "Water." "Water." "What's that?" "It's water." "rt's water." "It's white water." "White water." "Tastes like water." "Taste it." "[ Rupert ] lust take a little sip." "[ Rowan Shouting ]" "Water!" "Take a little drink." "[ Rowan Vocalizing ] Drink!" "Water, water!" "Water!" "## [ BelIJingling ]" "[Tu1ga ]" "Uh-huh." "Okay." "Okay." "Okay." "Can it be over the clothes?" "No?" "Okay." "All right." "Okay, okay." "[ Rupert Narrating ] The shamans aJso said that a bJack energy... had entered Kristin's womb during the pregnancy." "Yeah,just don't show my cellulite, that's all I ask." "All right." "You can Photoshop that, can'tyou?" "[ Cying ] ## [ Woman VocaJizing ] I don't want this." "[ Cying ] I've gotta go see the shaman." "[ Rupert Narrating ] I couJdn't heJp wondering, did I rea11y have his best interest at heart here?" "Was I being a terrib1e father?" "I didn't know." "[ Man, faint ] #There is a house buiJt out ofstone#" " # Wooden _oors, walls and window sills #" " Is he gonna whip me?" "[Tu1ga ]" "#Tables and chairs worn byaJJ ofthedust#" "#This is a p1ace#" "# Where I don't fee1 a1one#" "#This is a p1ace#" "[Tu1ga ]" "Okay." "[ Rupert ] Remember, you're not aJJowed to cy out, Jove." "[ Grunts ]" "[ Tu1ga ] Higher." "High." "Higher." "[ Chattering ]" "[ Panting ]" "[ Tu1ga ] Okay, that's fine." "Okay, it's a11 gone now." "All right." "Okay." "[ Kristin Chuck1es ] Yeah, I have them too." "Well done." "I'm proud ofyou." "[ Chuck1ing ]" "Come here." "Come here." "[ Laughing ]" "Excuse my craziness." "[ Rupert Narrating ] And then something happened." "Something was reJeased." "Rowan began 1aughing, gigg1ing, pJaying with the shamans." "Hey!" "[ Laughing ]" "Wewere together again, as a family." "# Until #" "# It disappeared #" "# From me #" "# From _ou #" "[ Rupert Narrating ] CJouds gathered." "A cooJ wind got up, and the rains came." "A vey good sign, said the shamans." "#To 1eave#" "# And turn ##" "## [ Drumming ]" "[ Rupert ] Thankyou." "[ Rupert Narrating ] arer the last shaman had finished," "Rowan turned to this smaJJ MongoJian boy... who'd been there at the ceremony." "And right out ofthe b1ue, hugged him, and said, "MongoJian brother."" "He'd never done anything Jike this before." "The boy's namewas Tomoo, the 6-year-oJd son ofTuJga, our guide." "ARer seeing the boys' interaction," "Tu1ga decided to bring Tomoo on the tripwith us." "[ Chattering ] [ Engine Starting ]" "[ Rupert Narrating ] Next morning, we set om... into the great interior ofMongo1ia." "Ten hours' drive to the first nomad camp, wherewewere to meet theguides and horses... whowou1d take us to LakeSharga and its heaJingwaters." "[ Grunting Playfully]" " Are they gonna play together?" " l think they might." "[ Cooing ]" "[ Kristin ] This is vey unusuaJ." "[ Rupert ] This is totaJJy unusuaJ." "[ Kristin ] PJaying with another kid Jike that." "Vey unusuaJ." "I haven't seen him do that kind ofinteractive play before, ever, actually." "No." "No, no." "The most he's ever done with another child is play chase." "But to actually have a sword fight and then- Never done that before." "talking about being a pirate." "Never done that before." "Take this pirate ship." "[ Rupert ] Vey, vey cooJ kid, TuJga's son." "[ Kristin ] Yeah." "Ow." "That's really encouraging." "Isn't it." "How doyou 1ike it?" "You don't like it?" "I don't like it?" "Or" " Or, you like it?" "Or?" "Oh, yeah!" "No, no, I'm doing a little dance." "Okay. [ Chuckles ]" "[ Rupert Narrating ] All I know is we went to see the shaman, and now, two days 1ater, we're seeing even more invoJved pJay... that I've never seen before ever." "is this because ofthe shamans?" "Isn't this because ofthe shamans?" "A11 I know is, we went to the shamans, and now this is happening." "Hey, Rowan, can you go poopie on the potty?" "Can you go poopie on the potty?" "Yes, I do." "Yes, you do!" "Do a poopie!" "Do a poopie!" "No!" "No?" "Can you do poopie on the potty?" "All done!" "All done?" "All done poopie?" "[ Kristin's Voice] I don't think he's ever successfuJJygone poo in the potty." "Pretty much eveything the books teJJ youyou shouJd ty doing, we've tried, and have had no success." "We took him out ofdiapers because wejust thought ifwe didn't, he'd be in diapers forever." "So wejust have him wear underwear, and hope that... it's going to be so uncomfortable pooping in your underwear... that he'll eventually be potty-trained." "A1though it doesn't seem to be working out that wayvey much." "All right, let mejust make sureyou're covered." "[ Kristin's Voice] Ifl couJd makeonewish for the MongoJi trip, iftheycouJd Jike, hea1 his resistance to using the potty." "That is a vey big wish." "He could finally learn to use the potty." "It would make our lives tremendously easier." "I'm so tired ofchanging poopie underpants, I can't even tell you." "[ Rupert ] Man." "Yuck." "[ Rowan Grunts ]" "[ Kristin ] I've got a JittJe pJastic bag in there." "1esus Christ." "This is a bad one." "[ Chuckling ] Getyou all clean." "You sureyou want this?" "[ Rowan Murmuring ]" "Wow, that was- that was an explosion, mate." "[ Rupert ] I don't feeJ quite as gJamorous as Steve rrwin, but I do feel like I justwrestled with a beast." "Okay." "[ Rupert's Voice] And at least the rainstorm hasn't hit." "Yet." "That was what you call a Code Brown." "[ Chattering ]" "[ Kristin ] Here we are." "Our first night." "Horses here?" "Yes." "Horses here." "[ Sheep B1eating ]" "[ Rupert ] We'vejust arrived at our first nomadic encampment." "This is Rowan's first introduction to MongoJia proper." "He'sjust, um, totally into it." "Oh, on we get." "[ Groans ] Hold the horn." "[Tu1ga ] for tonight, we set up tent." "Ofcourse, the kitchen makes food." "Also, the horses are already there, and we will be seeing our horses, which have been prepared for us." "So they've been trained horses for... three days, minimum, yeah." "[ Sheep B1eating ] Right?" "So we're going to be riding on horses that have never been ridden byWesterners before." "This shou1d be interesting." "[ ChuckJes ]" "Oh, dear." "[ Kristin ] Mmm." "God, this is beautiful." "[ Bleating Continues ]" "[ Shouting Playfully]" "Oh, hello, mister goats!" "No, I'm with the goats." "In we go." "[ Rupert Narrating ] Rowan's reJationship with animaJs is extraordinay." "A11 these anima1s are incredibJy toJerant ofhim." "They 1et him do stum that neurotypicaJ kids oren can't get awaywith." "[ Blowing Raspberries, Vocalizing ]" "H_ He picks them up, hechucks them around." "And theywon't- the cat won't scratch him." "The goatsjust sort ofgo 1imp and let him do this." "And we see this time and time again." "He's got something with animaJs." "And he's a1ways been obsessed with animals." "[ Grinker ] PeopJewith autism oren have incredibJy speciaJ taJents." "And they do things better than somebody that might not have autism." "For example, the ability to focus on a vey narrow topic, to the exc1usion ofeveything e1se, may be a vey positive thing." "We'ye come across some who are exceJJent painters, excellent musicians, excellent at math." "[ Grandin ] You wouJdn't have any eJectricity in this buiJding." "You wou1dn't have any camera to film this interview." "Any ofthese things ifyou didn't have people on some degree on the autism spectrum." "[ Baron-Cohen ] So some ofthose genes that are involved in autism... may a1so have been vey important as contributors... to the success ofhumanity." "[ Rupert ] So now this week, I came in, and I found that he had started... putting his animals in boxes, and sorting them." "Look- all the birds are in this box here." "The rhinos and the pigs are together." "They are biologically close to each other." "No one's told him this." "The camel, the bison and the musk ox are together- the large cloven-hoofed animals." "Now it gets interesting." "This is plains game:" "buffalo, zebra, kudu, gemsbok antelope." "He knows that these animals group together." "He must- l guess he's observed this in a wiJdJife documentay." "Um, and then over here a11 by itse1f in a speciaJ box, is the horse." "So, he's categorizing correct1y, at age four, the genuses and species, and what their reJationship is to each other." "But no one's told him this." "So this, ifyou like, is a really good allegoy... ofthe mind ofthe autistic kid." "In" " In some ways, um, really advanced." "But a1so, ifyou say, "Hi, JittJe boy, what'syour name?"" "he'11 comp1ete1y b1ankyou." "[ Nickering ]" "[Tu1ga ] But the JocaJs, they say to us, um, you brought the rain." "It hasn't been raining like this." "They 1ike to say, uh, the man bringing rain... has to be really, really good person." "So we respect the person... and offer many good foods... and be more po1ite with the peop1e." "So, Tu1ga, doyouwant tojust teJJ uswhatwe'vegot here?" "We got sausages, and, um, lung and liver, and hearts." "[ Chuckling ] Oh." "Cheers." "Thankyou for having us." "[Tu1ga Trans1ating ]" "All right, so, I'm going to start with this one." "[ Tulga ] Piece by piece." "Mm-hmm." "This is the- l think it's the lung." "Mmm, lung, my favorite." "That's, um, really challenging." "You're enjoying this, aren't you?" "Oh, yeah." "[ Laughing ] I'm enjoying." "That's, um- l can only say this in English, but that's really horrible." "Um, but I'm going to eat it anmay." "[Tu1ga ] rt can go... pretty good with, uh, some fats with it." "Look!" "There's Daddy!" "[ Rowan ] Whoo-hoot Hey." "[ Man ] Hey!" "[ Rowan ] No, thankyout" "[ Laughing ] Car!" "Doyou wanna go into my car?" "Take" " Here." "Car!" "Car!" "Car." "I want a car." "Go to the car?" "Let's go to the car." " [ Kristin ] Yeah." "We'll go to the car." " But,you know" "Car!" "To the car." "[ Kristin ] To the car?" "Say, "Car, please, Daddy."" "[ Rupert ] I'm feeJing a JittJe anxious right now." "Um, I don't know ifl'm doing the right thing." "Itjust makes you feel a little bit like, what are we putting him through?" "It is hard." "It's stressful." "It's difficult." "[ Rupert ] Guys, we have to get moving." "Car!" "Car!" "Car!" "[ Rupert ] We've waited aJmost too Jong." "A11 right, I'm going to keep getting moving." "Let's get moving." "[ Rupert Narrating ] I'd never seen Rowan reject a horse before." "[ Rowan Cying ]" "Never seen him tantrum on a horse." "The horsewas a1ways the p1ace where his tantrums went away." "[ Rupert Sighs ] I can't ride on the horse." "I'm just so tired and exhausted." "Really?" "And we've only been- You have to kick evey single step." "Doyou want to take this horse?" "And to trot I've got to like- [ Grunts ]" "Doyou want to take this horse?" "Ifyou can change saddles." "Um, it'll take long to change." "Doyou need that saddle?" "I'll ride in the van." "Jeremy's going to ride and see ifhe does better." "[ Rupert ] Ieremy!" "[ Kristin ]Jeremy?" "Sit tightt Sit tightt Sit tightt" "Whoat Oh, deart Oh-Oh, Shitt" "[ Rupert Chuck1ing ] Oh,Jesus Christt" "Oh, man." "See, it is a butt-fuckerofa horset" "Areyou okay, sweetie?" "[ Rupert ] You wanna get down?" "Okay, you can get down." "But the prob1em is evey timewe stop Jike this" "Mummy." "You want to go see Mummy?" "You want to ride in the car with Mummy for a bit?" "Okay." "Oh!" "I'm sory." "I'm in a vey negative mood." "That was one of the most uncomfortable halfhours I've ever spent in my life." "All right." "Well, enjoy the ride in the car for a bit." "[ Sighs ] Okay." "[ Rupert Narrating ] And so, my son took om, into the center of MongoJia, in the back ofa van with Jeopard-skin seats and pink curtains." "[ Vocalizes ] And... count!" "One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, stop!" "One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, stop!" "You want to do that?" "Yes, please, or no, thankyou?" "Yes, please!" "Okay, let's do it!" "And, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, stop!" "[ Rowan Laughing ] [ Chuckling ]" "[ Rupert ] In my daydream, thistripto Mongo1ia wouJd bring him byhimseJfriding." "Him not having to sit there in the saddle with me." "Him riding, by himself." "[ Rupert Narrating ] Evey parent who has this passionate interest... wants to share that passionate interest with their child." "But it's more than that." "IfRowan can ride, then he's free." "Then he's got freedom." "Ifthat's something that cou1d come ofthis trip, then... that alone would be- wou1d be eveything to me." "...seven, eight, nine, stop!" "[ Rowan Laughing ]" "[ Rupert Narrating ] EventuaJJy we Jet him out to pJay at a river, and Tu1ga took omwith thevan to ty and find a mountain... where he cou1d get a ceJJ phone reception." "That was a mistake." "Thevan was now Rowan's anchor ofcomfort in this unfamiJiar pJace." "Now it sudden1ywasn't there." "The resu1t?" "Total meltdown." "Oh, oh, oh, he's pooing, I think." "Are_ou going poopie?" "[ Cying ]" "[ Rowan ] Gotta get clean." "Okay, we can use water from the water bottle." "Switch offthe camera and come and help us." "[ Rowan Cying, Screaming ]" "Wrong!" "We gotta go home!" "## [ Rupert Singing, Indistinct ]" "Eagle!" "Eagle!" "What's wrong?" "The van's coming." "The van will be here in about one minute." "Already." "Doyou see?" "Yep." "There it is." "See, there's thevan." "The van's over there." "[ Cying ]" "You want me, hon?" "You want me, hon?" "Oh, poor darJing." "Okay, van's coming." "Van's coming." "[ Fussing ]" "Van's coming." "Van's coming." "There's the van." "You do?" "[ Sighs ]" "[ Rupert ] I compJeteJy fucked up." "I turned, throughjust not thinking straight, a delightful experience for him, into a pretty traumatic experience for him." "And what that is teaching me... is I've got to abandon any adult agenda." "And it's funny, I hadn't even really realized until this moment that I kind ofhad one." "So I let him down." "And the important thing isjust to... rememberwhywe're here, and whywe're here is for him." "It's the good and the right 1esson to have Jearned." "Grr." "[ Chuckling ]" "[ Kristin Laughing ]" "Up!" "Down." "[ Laughing ]" "Up!" "Down." "[ Rupert ] Get the geeset Get Tomoo." "[ Rowan ] Chase the geeset We're chasing the geeset" "[ Grunting, Growling Playfully]" "I guess I'm forgiven." "[ Laughing ]" "[ Rupert ] It's pretty cooJ, huh?" "[ Man ] What an adventure." "What an adventure." "I love my son." "And he 1oves you." "That's a good thing." "[ Chattering ]" "[ Rupert ] # Yes, Tomm_ was a piper's son #" "# He 1earned to p1aywhen hewasyoung #" "# But the only tune that he would play#" "#Was "Over the Hills and faraway" #" "# O'er the hills and o'er the main #" "#Through Flanders, Portugal and Spain #" "# King George commands and we obey#" "# Over the hills and far away#" "#There's 40 shillings on the drum #" "# For those who volunteer to come #" "#To list and fight the foe today#" "# Over the hills and far away#" "# O'er the hills and o'er the main #" "#Through Flanders, Portugal and Spain #" "# King George commands and we obey#" "# Over the hills and far away#" "# Over the hi11s and far away#" "#And I would loveyou all the day#" "# Evey night wou1d kiss and p1ay#" "# Iffor meyou g1ad1y #" "#St__y #" "# Over the hills and #" "[ RowanJoining In ] # Over the hills and #" "# _ar away #" "# Over the hills and far away##" "[ Kisses ] I loveyou." "[ Sniffles ]" "Mmm." "[ Rowan Babbling ]" "Well, it's true." "I'm a- l'm a better father because ofhis autism." "I never thought I'd say that." "But there's no question." "I don't think I would have been... that great a dad otherwise." "All right, mate." "Doyou want to eat, or doyou want to go up to bed?" "[ Indistinct ] You want to go up to bed." "Okay." "I'm a better father because I- his autism forced me to listen to what interested him above all else, and implement it because I had no choice." "Um, I'm glad now that I had no choice." "It was tough at the time, but... we're onto something good here." "[ Kristin ] Whoot" "Vey traditiona1 Mongo1ian fire." "## [ Man Singing In foreign Language]" "## [ Mongo1ians Singing ]" "[ Kristin ] Since the ceremony, I've been having these reaJJyvivid dreams, and I dreamt that I saw my grandmother happy, waJking away," "1ike she had 1et go ofRowan." "My dreams have been so powerful lately." "I mean, normally, I don't remember my dreams at all, but I have been here." "But there is definite1y a connection with, you know, my grandmother." "A11 her griefand sadness, and that tendency, that kind ofnegativity my grandmother reaJJy had." "I mean, in a wa_, shewas a bJack hoJe." "What's interesting is, you know, because I have a dimicult time whoJJy understanding spirits." "I mean, l-To be honest, I don't really believe in spirits, you know, as kind ofactual entities." "I believe in them more as symbolic entities." "What's interesting is that I reaJJy saw it as, um- l saw her spirit as a symbol, or maybe the actual, who knows, ofthat tendency in the female line... on my mother's side, um," "ofthis real clinging, andjust kind of... rage against not wanting things to be other than as theywant them to be." "And it's been passed down from her to my mother to me, to Rowan." "My rationa1 mind says, what does all this mean?" "But, you know, there's some connection there." "[ Chattering ]" "This is a good-bye photograph." "Good-bye photograph." "One, two, three." "[ foreign Language] r Shutter Clicks J [ AJJ ChuckJing ]" "Good-bye, Blackie." "[ Kisses ]" "[ Men Speaking foreign Language]" "[Tu1ga ]" "[ Kristin ] Maybe we can ask the 1oca1s ifthey know which one is good for the brain." "[ Rupert ] Doyou thinkwe could visit the one that's good for the brain?" "[ Rupert ] Yes, let's do that." "[All Laughing ]" "Bye-bye!" "Say "Bye-bye, Blackie!" [ Narrating ] We decided to take the old man's advice... and head to Lake Sharga and the heaJing spring, where, so they said, we couJd wash away our sumering." "So, back into thevan we got, for three days' hard traveJ." "The shamans had given us some homework." "Evey night, untiJ we jer MongoJia, we had to perform a series ofrituals, whi1e praying forwhatever negative forces were amecting Rowan to Jeave him be." "lnc1uding, as out there as it sounds even by my standards, the spirit ofKristin's manic-depressive grandmother." "He'sjust making cognitive advances... at an accelerated rate over the last few days." "I think having Tomoo a1ong is, you know, key to aJJ this." "Doyou want, uh, a RainMan cookie?" "No, thankyou." "Okay." "[ Man ] What's it taste like?" "Autistic parents only eat RainMan cookies." "[ Laughter ] [ Chuckles ]" "[ Men Chanting In foreign Language]" "[ Be11 Rings ]" "[ Chanting In Foreign Language ]" "Mister shamans?" "[ Be11 Rings ]" "[ Narrating ] Here it was." "Lake Sharga." "Much more beautiful than I thought it wouJd be." "[ l ndistinct ] There's the lake." "Look at that." "I wanna go." "[ Rupert ] AJJ right." "Let's get out." "[ Man ] Let's get out." "[ Kristin ] I have no idea ifany ofit has an emect, or ifit'sjust maybe... ca11ing up the focus and the intention for his heaJing, which in and ofitself couJd be quite powerfuJ." "I don't know how useful it is to think of... us as normal and totally healthy, and Rowan as the sick one, or the ill one." "I think it's way more complicated than that." "[ Rupert ] We wouJd not be having this amazing cray adventure across MongoJia... ifRowan was not autistic." "It seems like a curse in some ways, but in manyways, it's a real blessing." "Mmm." "And to allow it to be." "Mm-hmm." "To allow it to be." "[ Kristin ] And aJso, this is Rupert's and my Jife beforewe had Rowan." "We trave1ed a11 over thewor1d." "Yeah, and wejust thought we'd never be able to do it again." "Yeah." "You know." "And we tried a couple oftimes." "And it was a disaster." "Disaster, you know." "And we were terrified that this trip would turn into a real disaster too." "And it hasn't." "Rowan'sjust been so into it." "And even when he was shaky the first couple ofdays, he was still into it, you know." "I think something's really shifted with him." "Yeah, he's finding his adventurer's heart." "[ Rupert ] Yeah." "He is." "I can te11you, this is a fairJy hard trip in manyways." "But I've had harder car rides to the grocey store with Rowan." "I mean, serious1y." "Haven'tyou?" "It's true, yeah." "[ Chattering ]" "[ Rupert ] Let's go outside and see ifit's there." "Rowan, you're too c1ose." "[ Cying ]" "We11, this is kind of a good Jesson in sort of" "This is a high-functioning autistic kid." "You can see, like, sometimes you can go out, and evenjust to make it 300 yards up a trail... can be, like, massively stressful." "[ Shouting, Cying ]" "Wow, you really know how to be charming when you ask for things." "Swing. [ l ndistinct ]" "[ Cries ] Come on." "Let's go." "Let's go." "Oh, look." "Here are some more dandy leaves." "[ Wailing ]" "[ Whining, Squeaking ] Ooh." "[ Chattering ]" "[ Rupert ] I gotta admit." "I'm feeJing a JittJe down tonight." "I don't know." "Sometimes I think he's Jeaping fonNard, and sometimes it's Jike he's totaJJy regressing." "[ Kristin ] I know." "He goes up and down Jike a Ping-Pong baJJ." "[ Rupert ] Am I just kidding myseJf that I'm not attached to him recovering?" "Will he ever be really functional?" "Will he have to go into an institution when he's older?" "Will he recover?" "Will he surprise us?" "[ Kristin ] Baby cow." "Let alone will he ever ride a horse by himself." "You know." "[ Sighs ] I don't know." "[ Whimpers ] Oh!" "[ Chattering ]" "[ Kristin ] No, no!" "[ Man ] CaJm down." "[ Chattering ]" "No, no, no, no." "[ Squeaking ]" "Tonight he's basicallyjust like a giant 1 8-month-old." "And it's vey painful for me to see." "[ Kristin ] Areyou okay?" "No, I'm down. I'm down." "[ Rowan Chattering ] I'm feeling like, with the camera on me, it almost makes me want to cy." "Oh, let's go." "Water on your head." "On your head!" "Ready?" "Whoa!" "[ Whi ni ng ]" "[ Squeals, Cries ]" "[ Cying ]" "[ Rowan Sobbing, Chattering ]" "[ Rowan, Cying ] Ride the traint" "[ Cying, Shouting ] We'rejust gonna wait here for now." "Little- Oops, a little bit ofwaiting." "[ Cying ]" "Why can't let's go soon, Daddy?" "[ Screaming ]" "So he's deve1oped an obsession with this train." "And notjust with the train, but with these animals here." "Sometimes I've hung out here... for up to two or three hours at a time sometimes." "And I've probab1y ridden this train 2OO times." "[ Cying ] [ Woman ] Want him on the train?" "Ifyou can." "Thankyou." "Thankyou vey much." "[ Squeals ]" "[ Rupert ] WeJJ, that was Jucky." "They Jet us on." "[ Rupert ] But it can be quite JoneJy, sometimes, as you can imagine." "I mean, we spent, you know, the 1ast two and a ha1fyears 1ike this a lot ofthe time, and... it's vey rare thatyou can ever get anyone to come aJong and do this withyou." "And it can get a 1itt1e 1one1y." "It's one ofthe things which I think aJJ parents ofautistic kids have to deal with." "[ Rudin ] I think before a parent can come to acceptance, there's an enormous amount ofgrieving that has to be done." "I think people are dealing with loss, from the loss ofa dream." "I seewhat comes up is exhaustion... from dea1ingwith behavior probJems a Jot, from dealing with an environment... that looks at the parent as if they're doing something wrong... because they see a kid that's tantruming... and theyjust assume that maybe the parent isn't handling it well." "Peoplejust don't understand what they're going through." "[ Cying ]" "There are so many fears... that their child, their adult child will be taken advantage of." "that there won't be a place for them." "I've worked with families whose aduJt chiJdren are not toilet trained." "Theywory that theywon't have any friends, that they'll be all alone, and when their family goes, or their parents go, there won't be anybody around to care for them." "[ Narrating ] Our finaJ destination was far north, near the Russian border, to ty and find a group of indigenous peopJe caJJed the Dukha, the reindeer herders." "Before man ever rode a horse, he rode the reindeer, the first 1arge anima1 to be domesticated at the end ofthe Jast ice age." "Now reduced tojust 2OO peop1e, the Dukha trib_ and eveyone agreed on this- had the strongest shamanic tradition ofall." "[ Rupert ] So we're on the second to Jast day ofour Jong drive, and wejust  [ Rowan ] Reindeer peop1e." " [ ChuckJes ] He wants to get to the reindeer peopJe so bad." "[ Rowan ] This is for Mommy, and this is for Mommy and TuJga, and this is for Mommy and Tomoo, and this is for Mommy and Tom" "And this is for Mommy and Tomoo." "[ Chattering ]" "[ Man ] What's for Mommy and Tomoo?" "Hey, Rowan." "What's for Mommy, Tomoo, DaddyandTuJga?" "[ Thunder Rumb1ing ]" "[ Rupert ] That was a giant, giant... motherfucker ofa poo 1ast night." "Oh, God, I'm getting so depressed about that." "You know, I just have these visions ofhim at 1 4." "Still shitting his pants." "I know." "I don't fu11y understand why he's so resistant." "[ Kristin ] So, how arewe going to deal with that?" "To ty to get him to accept the horses again?" "I'm afraid that he'lljust- that he's set up an autistic pattern, where he'll just roundly reject it... because it represents... some unpleasant memoy." "And then when we get to the horses again, yes, ofcourse I'm worried." "And, ofcourse, I'll feel a failure and humiliated... and all these things if- ifhe round1y rejects it." "Um, so, thankyou for... pressing that insecurity button in me this morning." "That's vey" "Aw. I was tying to- [ Chuckles ] I'm only kidding." "I'm just tying to also prepare myself." "[ Narrating ] That morning, we waited for the guides and their horses to arrive, to 1ead us north to the reindeer camps cJoser to the Russian border." "from hereon, therewere no more roads." "We'd have to leave the van." "I worried and fretted." "WouJd Rowan get back on a horse, or wouJd he reject them again?" "Wou1d we actua11y be able to do this?" "[ Rupert ] Come on, Rowan." "Let's go." "[ Rowan Screaming ]" "Okay." "[ Rowan Mutteri ng ]" "Come on, Rowan." "Okay." "There we go." "Goodjob." "It's all right." "It's all right." "There we go." "[ Cying ]" "Sit like that." "There we go." "It's all right." "There we go." "[ Rowan Cying ] It's all right." "Yes, yes." "Doyou want to hold the reins?" "[ Cying ] I know." "[ Cying Continues ] [ Kristin ] Is he cJosing his eyes?" "Let's go." "Short ride." "[ Wailing ]" "[ Foreign Language ]" "[ Rowan Muttering ]" "[ Rupert Growling Playfully]" "[ Kristin Chuck1es ]" "[ Narrating ] I had to find a way to get him in a better mood- and fast." "I didn't know what to do." "I was searching for inspiration." "And then, the gods of toiJet humor spoke to me." "[ Rowan ] What's that?" "[ Rupert ] It's a" " A Code Brown!" " It's a Code Brown!" "[ Chuckles ] lt's a Code Brown!" "It's a Code Brown!" "Code Brown!" "It's a poopie, poopie, poopie." "Poopie." "What's that?" "I t's a- Code Brown!" "Code Brown!" "Oh, no!" "Code Brown!" "Code Brown!" "Code Brown!" "Code Brown!" " [ Rowan ] What's that?" " [ Rupert Gasps ] Rhinoceros having a Code Brown." "What's that?" "That's a" "Code Brown!" "Code Brown!" "[ Chuckling ]" "[ Rowan ] I'm going through the forest to see the reindeer peopJe." "[ Kristin ] That's right." "You're going through the forest to see the reindeer peopJe." " [ Rowan ] Wewanna ride the reindeer." " [ Kristin ] Yes. I want to ride the reindeer." "Doyou want to ride the reindeer?" "[ Narrating ] Thank God Rowan was enjoying riding again, enjoying the adventure, because it took two fu11 days to make the ascent," "1 2,OOO foot up to the summer pastures ofthe reindeer peopJe, crossing rivers, negotiating bogs, spending eight, nine hours each day in the saddJe, wondering thewho1e time, wouJd we actuaJJy make it?" "I no 1onger had towory about Rowan, but now Kristin's exhaustion was starting to tell." "And then, just be1ow the highest point ofthe pass, a horse kicked her." "[ Kristin Shouts ]" "Did he actua11y get you?" "Oh." "How hard did he getyou?" "No, no.Just give me two." "Give me two." "Well, ifhe really gotyou- Give me two." "Oh, eveythingjust hurts." "I've never really done this kind ofmountain riding, so I'm- l don't know ifl'm going to make it, love." "Yeah, you wi11." "[ Chattering ]" "We have two hours." "So, from the pass, we can see reindeer people." "We can see th_ We can see the reindeer peopJe, means it's vey cJose." "[ Rupert ] Oh, okay." "Yeah." "We'regoing to havea 1itt1e rest, and thenwe'regoing to rideover tothe reindeer peopJe." " Okay." "We can go." " See the pass up there, Rowan?" "On the other side?" "Reindeer people." "On the other side is the reindeer people." "We can go." "Yeah?" "Thinkyou can make it?" "Yeah." "Okay." "[ Rupert ] Wow." "[ Kristin ] Jesus." "Look behind you." "[ Mutters ]" "[ Rupert ] Wow." "I don't see them, Tulga." "Yes, we're going to go around here to the reindeer people." "The reindeer arejust around the corner, are they?" "The reindeer people arejust around the corner." "Let mejust get back on, 'cause this is killing me." "[ Groans ]" "[ Kristin ] Yeah, we said theywere right around the corner, and we don't see them, so I'm hoping they really are here." "Hope they didn't decide todaywas moving day." "I hope I don't have to do some difficult explaining." "[ Man ] Reindeer." "Toyour right." "Where?" "Oh, there's a reindeer." "Look." "See?" "[ Kristin ] There's a reindeer." "Look at it." "[ Kristin ] There they are." "How about that?" "Their tepees and sateJJite dish." "Yeaht [ ChuckJes ]" "[ Rupert Gasps ] Oh, my God." "How about that?" "I t's the reindeer people's tepees." "Look." "That's where they are." "You made it." "You made it." "AJJ the way." "You made it." "All the way." "I am so proud ofyou." " [ Rowan ] You wanna ride the reindeer?" " We do want to ride a reindeer." "Yes." "[ Rupert ] I reaJJy didn't know ifwe were going to make it." "[ Squealing, Groans ]" "[ Rupert ] We actuaJJy made it." "That's amazing." "Isn't it?" "[ Chattering ]" "[ Foreign Language ]" "[ Rupert Sighs ] Oh, yeah." "[ Foreign Language ]" "[ Rupert ] You can say thankyou vey much for Jetting us... come and drop into their lives like this." "[ Laughing ]" "We'vecomea 1ongway from America... because our child has autism, and we had heard that the shamans ofthe reindeer peopJe... were both powerfu1 and kind, and so we thought we would bring our boy up here," "just to see ifthere's any help that could be given." "[ foreign Language] [ foreign Language]" "He says, uh, his father is the person we are going to- to meet." "Uh, he is notwell but we can checkwith him." "Mm-hmm." "[ foreign Language]" "[ Men Speaking foreign Language]" "[ Rupert ] I don't even know the name ofthe shaman here." "What's his name?" "[ Tu1ga ] Uh, Ghoste." "He's definite1y the most powerfuJ one in this region." "He said, uh, he can do." "Mmm." "[ Narrating ] TuJga reported that Ghoste needed a full night to communicate with the spirits... to find out whether he could heJp Rowan." "Tomorrow, he'd let us know." "[ Chattering In foreign Language]" "[ Rowan ] It's a reindeert [ Kristin ] A reindeert" "[ Mumbling ]" "Okay." "[ Grunts ]" "Oh, I like the antlers!" "[ Rupert ] Yeah." "I like the antlers." "He's cute." "[ Both ] He's cute." "Okay." "Time to get off?" "All right." "One more hug and a kiss on the neck." "[ Kristin Chuck1es ] Aw!" " [Tu1ga ] Yeah." "It's _ne." " [ Rupert] It's okay?" " Let's go ho1d the baby reindeer." " [ Kristin ] You wanna hug the baby reindeer?" "[ Rupert ] Let's go hug the baby reindeer." "Are they cute?" "They have tiny little horns." "[ Kristin ] The horns arejust starting to grow." "Abracadabra!" "[ Kristin ] Abracadabra?" "What's that?" "[ Rupert ] That's the back." "Abracadabra." "And this?" "Wi1bur." "[ Mumb1ing ]" "And..." "Wilbur... and Will... and Lucy and Paige and Portia." "[ Kristin Laughs ] That's amazing." "[ Rupert ] That's amazing." "Where did he get those names?" "[ Mumbling ]" "What did he say?" "Daisy and WiJbur?" "[ Rupert ] I've never seen him just spontaneous Jy name a bunch ofanimaJs." "[ Chattering ]" "[ Rupert ] 9:" "OO." "Okay." "[ Grunting ]" "All right." "Let's go see the shaman." "[ Tu1ga ] He said he did some rituaJ Jast night" "[ Rupert ] Uh-huh." "And now he will be in his costume and will talk to him... a little bit." "[ Rupert ] Thankyou." "[ Rowan ] What's that?" "[ Rupert ] It's eagJe feathers, Jike an eagJe." "[ Rowan ] Then we can see a hawk in a house." " [ Rupert ] Mm-hmm." " The hawkwas in the house." " [ Rupert ] The hawkwas in the house." "That's right." " [ Rowan Muttering ]" "[ Rupert ] Here's the drum." "[ Kristin ] The drum." "## [ Drum Beating ]" "## [ Rowan Voca1izes ]" "[ Kristin Chuck1ing ]" "[ Rupert ] Oh, Rowan, no, no, no, no, no, no." "[ Kristin ] No, no." "No, no." "[ Rowan] No, no, no." "No." "[ Kristin] No, don't touch theeagJefeathers." "[ Rupert ] Don't go for his face." "Sit." "[ Rowan Imitating EagJe CaJJs ]" "Sit with your daddy." "[ Groans ]" "[ Imitating Eagle ] Therewe go." "## [ Drum Beating ] [ Rupert ] Drums." "[ Rowan Mutters ]" "Don't touch." "1ust sit.Just sit quietly." "[ Rupert ] Sit quiet with Daddy." "[ Kristin ] Sit quietly." "[ Rowan ] Wow." "[ Rupert ] Wow." "[ Rowan ] Wow, that's a shaman." "He's an eag1e." "He's an" "He's got him on the tree." "An eagJe nest." "A mommy bird and a baby bird." "[ Rupert ] Drink." "Drink." "r Kristin J Drink the water." "[ Rowan Whines ] [ Kristin ] Drink the water." "Drink it." "It's okay." "Drink." "Drink it." "## [ Drum Beating ]" "[ Muttering In Foreign Language ]" "[Tu1ga ] He says he'JJ be fine." "[ Rowan Muttering ] [ foreign Language]" "Uh-huh." "He thinks he will be better by tomorrow." "[ Rupert ] Okay." "[ Foreign Language ]" "[ Rupert ] Uh-huh." "[Tu1ga ] He said hewiJJ come visit us tomorrow." "[ Kristin ] Okay." "[ Rupert ] Vey good." "That's what" " He" " He said he's leaving this area tomorrow." " [ Rupert ] Okay." "[ Foreign Language ] [ Rupert ] Uh-huh." "Before it gets too dark, you have to Jeave." "[ Rupert ] Okay." "AJJ right." "[ Kristin ] Okay." "Te11 him thankyou." "Thankyou." "[ foreign Language]" ""Take care ofyour kid." Thankyou." "We will." "We will." "[ Rowan Chattering ] Shamanst" "You want more shamans?" "Doyou want more shamans?" "_m." "[ Screaming ]" "Shamans!" "[ Kristin ] There's the shaman." "There." "There's the shaman." "Say "Bye-bye."" "Say "Bye-bye." Say "See you tomorrow;' Rowan." "[ Mumbles ] Say"Seeyou tomorrow."" "[ Foreign Language ]" "Okay." "We must go." "Tulga, we must go, he says." "[ Rowan Cying, Wailing ]" "[ Rowan Chattering ]" "[ Rowan Chattering ] Shaman!" "[ Rupert ] You wanted to stay there, didn'tyou?" "[ Cries ]" "[ Rupert ] WeJJ, I expected him to be... tantruming 1ike that because he didn't want to see the shaman, and didn't want to be in the tent, not because he had to leave." "That's extraordinay." "It's wonderful." "[Tu1ga ]" "[ Chattering ]" "[ Grinker ] Oneway ofexpJaining an iJJness is to say, "Oh, this person is sick."" "Anotherway ofexplaining an illness is to say," ""This is a different type ofperson, and theywill have a different role in society."" "One ofthe most common things that anthropoJogists have found among, uh, heaJers, Jike shamans, is that, almost always, peopJewhoareshamans, no matter whether they're in East Africa, or whether they're in CentraJ Asia," "or South America, orAustralia, they have gone through some sickness." "And oren that illness is an illness... with a conste11ation ofsymptoms that are certain Jy neuropsychiatric." "The shamans don't show neuroJogicaJ symptoms because they're shamans." "They become shamans because they had these neuroJogicaJ symptoms." "We don't know why, but one thing we do know... is that the line between what is a shaman... and the line between, say, a psychoanalyst, is not that clearly drawn." "We are one ofthe few societies... that treat neuro1ogica1 and psychiatric dimerence... by creating institutions where we separate peopJe compJeteJy from society." "Most other cultures aren't like that." "[ HorseWhinnies]" "[ Chattering ]" "Obvious1y I think there's dangers in totaJJy saying," ""Oh, yes, it's the shamans;' and... completely buying into that symbol system as well." "I think I'm a little more skepticaJ than Rupert." "Well, you know, he goes up and down naturally, and we don't know ifthis is definitely a permanent gain." "So I'm a little more cautious in terms ofsaying I'm hopeful and things look good." "But I do think it's important... not to expect, like, a miracle cure." "You know, there was a little part ofme that was like, after the shamanic ceremony, well, is he going to wake up and bejust totally normal?" "And, ofcourse, he wasn't." "Um" "It's outside of my normaJ experience." "Put it that way." "[ Mutters ] We're going to the car." "[ Chattering ]" "Maybe I should change my shirt, after five days." "I- [ Scoffs ] Just a thought." "[ Chattering ]" "[ Narrating ] Ghoste had told us the night before... that Rowan would become graduaJJy Jess autistic over the next threeyears." "But most important1y, the stumthat reaJJy drove us cray- the incontinence, the tantruming- these wou1d end today." "We would start to see them Jeave right now." "I was guarding my heart." "I didn't want to a11ow myse1f to be disappointed." "There we go." "Say good-bye to shaman." "Say good-bye." "[ Kristin ] Good-bye." "[ Chattering ]" "[ Rowan Shouts Playfully]" "[ Rowan Grunts Playfully] [ Man ChuckJes ]" "[ Man Speaking foreign Language]" "[ Chattering ]" "[ Rupert ] Areyou doing a taste test?" "[ Man Speaking foreign Language]" "[ Rowan Speaking, Indistinct ]" "[ Foreign Language ]" "[ Speaking Foreign Language ]" "[Tu1ga ] Now it's time t_ He is Jeaving." "It's time to take Rowan." "[ Rupert] Saygood-byetotheshaman." "Good-bye to the shaman." " [ Man Speaks foreign Language] - [ Rupert ] Thankyou for the heaJing." "[ Narrating ] And with that, it was fina11y time to go home." "[ Thunder Rumb1ing ]" "[ Narrating ] As we rode away, and down the mountain, just as Ghoste had said, that indeed... was when eveything began to change." "[ Rowan ] Aht" "Echo!" "[ Kristin ] Oh, my God. I can't beJieve it." "He's doing an intentionaJ poot" "Hejust totally did it." "He did it." "[ Chattering ]" "[ Rupert ] That's the first stage to the potty." "That is success." "That is success right there." "Excellent!" "Outdoor squatting poot Whoo-hoot" "[ Camera Shutter C1icks ]" "[ Rowan Giggling ]" "[ Giggling ]" "[ Giggling ]" "[ Grunting Playfully]" "[ Wind How1ing ]" "[ Rupert ] That's incredibJe." "IncredibJe." "Brilliant." "You are brilliant." "Brilliant!" "Brilliant!" "Rowan poopied on the potty!" "You're brilliant!" "You're briJJiantt" "You're brilliant!" "Okay, to pooping in the toilet." "[ Kristin Laughs ]" "This is the start ofsomething new." "Yea!" "## [ Humming ]" "[ Kristin ] He's wanting to pJaywith the other kids, and not with us." "Like most normal little kids, theywanna playwith each other, not with their parents." "This has never happened before where he'sjust totally involved with them and totally ignoring us." "rt's amazing." "And he's one ofthem, you know?" "Do I think it was the shamans?" "My honest answer is, yeah, ofcourse, I do." "I'm open to the possibility that there is... something happening with the shamanic way ofunderstanding things." "But on the other hand, I'm open to the idea... thatjust whenyou take a kid, andyou take him to MongoJia, andyou push him to their Jimits, they have to confront cha11enges theywouJdn't othenNise, and that may be the cause ofit." "[ Rupert ] What does it matter?" "What matters is that he's Jeapt fonNard, and that we came here, and it happened." "That's what matters." "Now I'11 say a 1itt1e prayer for all ofus that live with autism, whetherwe're autistic, orwhetherwe're the parents ofautistic kids, orwhetherwe know people who have autistic kids, whether it's our grandson, our granddaughter," "or our nephew, or our niece, or our kid, or our sibling." "[ Sighs ] I hope-This is my prayer- that we find a way... to understand and integrate this enigma... into the best ofour society, and the best ofwho we are, and that it helps to bring out the best in us all." "That's my prayer." "r Match Strikes J" "[ Sighs ]" "An_ay, I'm grateful." "Thankyou." "[ Rupert ] AJJ right." "So what I want you to do is I want you to take the reins." "Take the reins, like that, in your hands and turn Betsy." "Say "Come on, Betsy." Can you say "Come on, Betsy"?" "Come on, Betsy." "And hold" " Liftyour hand and push across like that." "Say "Come on, Betsy." That's right." "Turn her byyourself." "Sa_"Come on, Bets_." "Let's gotothe barn." Let's go to the barn." "All right." "Now turn Betsy this way, push your hand like this." "Thereyou go." "Thereyou go." "Yeah!" "Give her a little kick." "[ CJicks Tongue ]" "Yes." "And away she goes." "Excellent!" "You're riding." "Pull." "Give the reins a pull." "Yes!" "Youjust rode." "Youjust rode." "Youjust rode." "Youjust rode, you little- [ Muffled ] Youjust rode." "Thankyou, Betsy." "[ Kisses ]" "[ Rupert ] I don't think I can even speak right now." "[ Kristin ] You push first." "Push the poopie out." "Oh, goodjobt" "Doyou have another one in there?" " [ Rowan ] fJush, _ush." " Flush." "Let's wash our hands." "[ Flushes ]" "[ Baron-Cohen ] I think it's vey important that... we do learn to live with autism, in the sense that there's a lot ofadjustments our society can make... to become more autism-friend1y." "[ Grinker] I reaJJy hope that as peopJe learn more about autism, they wi11 see autism as a form ofdiversity." "You know, I thinkwe need to figure out a way to prevent some of the most severe forms ofautism, butyou certain1y do not want to get rid ofautism genetics, and I get asked, ifl couJd snap my fingers, would I want to be not autistic?" "No, I wouldn't, because I like the clarity ofthought that I have." "[ Chattering ]" "[ Kristin ] I think the thing that's so remarkabJe... is how much our 1ives have changed since coming back." "It'sjust" " It's night and day." "I can't even tell you- l can't even tell you how different it is." "[ Man ] What'syour name?" "Rowan!" "How areyou doing?" "I'm fine." "[ Kristin ] He'sjust charming." "He's a brilliant kid." "He is." "And his kind ofquirkyway oflooking at all ofthis... is preciselywhat makes him so charming and interesting- Exactly." "and fun and funny." "[ Rupert ] And that I've got no interest in tying to change." "None at all." "No." "Quite the opposite, actua11y." "It's what makes him so wonderful." "No." "This is Curious George." "He lives in the zoo." "He was a good little monkey." "Patty and Atalina are babysitting Rowan tonight." "And Rowan has said he's happy to have them do that." "And Rupert and I are going to go to a movie and have dinner." "You know, I'm rea11y starting to taste freedom." "Freedom like we haven't had for the last sixyears." "And it's pretty nice." "Good-bye!" "Have a fun night!" "[ Chattering ]" "[ Chattering ]" "## [ Ba11ad ] # When the gusts came around #" "#To b1ow me down ## l think that the family in_uences... how a child views themselves." "So ifthe fami1y comes to a p1ace... where they can accept that their child has autism, and love the child, and develop a relationship, their life is going to be much better." "# Happy birthday toyou #" "# Happy birthday, dear Rowan #" "# Happy birthday toyou ##" "[ Narrating ] Did Rowan get cured ofhis autism?" "No." "Rowan is still autistic." "Did Rowan get hea1ed ofthe dysfunctions that went along with his autism- the physica1 and emotional incontinence, the inconso1ab1e tantrums, the isoJation from his peers?" "Yes." "[ Chattering ] [ Shouting Playfully ]" "[ Narrating ] for us, this heaJing was frankJy miracuJous." "But perhaps the rea1 mirac1e... was thatwewent to Mongo1ia with a chiJd sumering, and a fami1y sumering, and we found hea1ing through whatever means." "The bottom line is that we took the adventure, and through that adventure, we found a way, both as individuaJs, and as a fami Jy, to break free." "# Where the doors #" "#Are moaning a11 day 1ong #" "[ Laughing ]" "# Where the stairs are 1eaning #" "# Dusk ti11 dawn #" "# Where thewindows #" "#Are breathing in the 1ight #" "# Where the rooms are#" "#A collection ofour lives #" "#This is a p1ace#" "# Where I don't fee1 a1one#" "#This is a p1ace#" "#That I ca11 my home##" "[ Crickets Chirping ]" "[ Rupert ] So, this is the New Trail Center, and we have founded... an equestrian and autism learning facility... in centra1 Texas, near EJgin, Texas, wherewe Jive." "Good." "Now we're walking." "That's a walk." "The schoolhouse here is aJJ set up... for teaching special needs." "We have a number ofgood quaJified therapists now... coming in and working with us on the non-horse side." "As you can see, there's a lot of happy kids here now." "[ Chattering ]" "## [ Ba11ad ] ## [ Woman Singing, Indistinct ]" "One." "Good." "And?" "One." "Two." "And?" "One." "One and two." "And what?" "And one." "Yeah!" "And two." " And one?" " One." "# Love is #" "# Letting #" "# Go #" "# How man_ times #" "#We've had todie#" "# Be broken down #" "# And yet rise #" "# And we fought #" "#And we've _own#" "#We havefa1tered#" "#And we've grown #" "#Are we # # finding #" "# Love #" "# Does 1ove mean #" "# Letting #" "# Go #" "# And I'll climb #" "#That mountain one day#" "#This is#" "#A moment #" "# Ofgrace##"