" We're not all descended from the Puritans." " No?" "30 miles from Plymouth." "It's not on the maps today." "Merrymount." "you mentioned in your book..." "The colony where anything goes... went." "There was booze... there was music..." "They even... you name it... wearing masks" "Whites and Indians together all going for broke." "Who was responsible for all of this?" "A character by the name of Thomas Morton." "Ah..." "The Hugh Hefner of the Puritans." "You can say that." "I will read you a quote of what the Puritans thought of" "Morton's followers." "Debauched aliens and atheists falling into great licentiousness and leading degenerate lives." "I came straight to America." "America the licentious." "So what happened to all of those people?" "they sent in Miles Standish cut down those coloured ribbons" "Banners everything." "The party was over." "And we became a nation of strait-laced Puritans." "Well..." "Isn't that your point though?" "The Puritans won." "all things sexual How would you say?" " Sexual happiness." " Exactly." "Until the 1960's." "where it all exploded again all over the place." "everyone was dancing around the Maypole not war"." "only a decade earlier if you wanted to make love in the 1950s you had to cop a feel..." "Or get married." "As I did in the 1960's." "Any regrets?" "Plenty." "But that's my secret." "Don't tell anybody." "That's just between you and me." "I think it was Bette Davis who said:" "Old age is not for sissies" "But it was Tolstoy who said that the biggest surprise in a man's life is old age"." "Old age sneaks up on you" "I'm asking myself" "Why can't an old man act his real age?" "How is it possible for me to still be involved in the carnal aspects of the human comedy?" "nothing has changed." "Her name was Consuela Castillo and she was my student." "This course is called "Practical Criticism"." "So..." "Let's go!" "shall we?" "Does "War and Peace become a different book because we read it?" "of course." "But why?" "Because we bring something to the book?" "We bring ourselves." "it will change again because you've changed." "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder." "I've always been vulnerable to female beauty her posture was perfect." "And she dressed like a young associate of a prestigious law firm." "There was a sophistication that set her apart." "She knows she's beautiful." "But she's not yet sure what to do with her beauty." "it's not worth it." "don't give it a thought." "A work of art reminds you of who you are now." "Since they posted the sexual harassment hotline number down the hall from my office" "I never make private contact with any of my students until they've received their grades." "Afterwards I always throw a cocktail party for the class." "And it's always a success." "we saw you on TV last night." "You were great." "Thank you." "Charlie Rose was pretty good too wasn't he?" "yes." " You were great." " Have a lovely evening." " Thank you." "right professor Kapesh?" "Westerners see Islamic integralists as primitive and dangerous while" "Islamic integralists see Americans as depraved and corrupt." "Nothing's changed since the crusades." "We need an alliance of civilizations... professor." " Is this a real letter from Kafka?" " Yes." "it's one of the original letters that he wrote to Milena." "It was a gift from someone." "Someone close to you." "Miss Castillo." "Consuela." "We're not in class." "We don't need to be so formal." "Consuela." " Do you play the piano?" " Yeah." "Would you play for us?" "Too many people." "I'd freeze." "You know there's something about you that invites a kind of formality." "What do you mean?" "You have a kind of elegant austerity." "Austerity?" "Something like that." "I guess I got that from my father." "He is austere... and proud." "Very Cuban." "Cuban?" "My whole family is Cuban." "I was 11 years old when I came." "Did you go straight to college from high school?" "I was a legal secretary in a law firm." "You worked." "but I didn't like it." "My parents always hoped I would go to college" "So I made up my mind and here I am." "I want to show you something." " Here we are." " Goya." " What's this one called?" " "La Maja Vestida." "And?" " And?" " She resembles you." "You resemble her." "Really?" "Yes." "I think so." "What do you think?" "I don't know." "maybe." "Goya and her Cuban family?" "it's great that her family's Cuban and she enjoys my class." "But I go on yakking away mainly because I want to fuck her." " What can I say?" " True." "The room is full of spies." "I love music." "Excuse me." "my grandfather takes me to the Opera" "And I adore theater." "I review plays for a magazine." "Would you like to go with me sometime to the theater?" " Yes." " Sorry." "Go to the theater?" " Why don't you take her to the prom?" " I get it." "This girl is..." "She's a throw-back to a completely different time." "She has to be wooed." "I thought we were talking about sex." "You know for a Pulitzer Prize winning poet sometimes you display a remarkable lack of imagination." "That's why they gave me the fucking prize." "Don't tell me you've never been through the process of talking the talk." "That's why I have a family for Christ's sake." "I talk to them." "Maybe you should get married again." "George!" "go to the museums look at all the Goyas that you want but keep the sex part just for sex." "Alright." "George?" "No." "One all." "I'm not hitting that." "Sneaking off for a smoke?" " You know you shouldn't smoke." " You tell me that every 3 weeks." " I'm under a lot of pressure." " I like to be consistent." "So do I." "You've been trying to get me to quit smoking for 20 years." "Since the first day of your class." "your class made me smoke." "I'm under a lot of stress." "how was Chicago?" " Cleveland." "Chicago was last week." "Atlanta's next week." "You sound like Cary Grant ha!" "just try being a woman running your own business." "I thought you liked being your own boss." "I do." "Thank god for these little interludes." "That's all I can say." "Aren't you going to get that?" "There's only one person in the world that would call me at 2 o'clock in the morning" "Leave a message." "Did you get my email?" "I really need to talk to you." "I should have known better than to think you'd be home at this hour." "Or maybe you are home and listening all snug and smug." "35 years old and he still hates my guts." "you ran out on him." "I ran out on a marriage that I got myself into out of youth and fear a million years ago." "Sometimes you pay for liberation." "That's the price he pays for being turned into the heroic... defender of the abandoned mother." "I mean if any one of us could make it over the wall." "He sat on my case isn't there some statute of limitations?" "I've tried." "I've tried." "When he was 12 or 13 one time" "I took him to the Mets." "He spent the next five innings throwing up in the men's room that phone call was him throwing up." "You know what's wild?" "He's successful." "Kenny Kepesh the doctor." "he's married with children." "It's only with me that he regresses to what you just heard." "he gets me going." "I thought you stopped reviewing plays." "that one looked kind of interesting." "Too bad I'm going to be in Atlanta." "I'll go with George." "family self-help books." "Men with teeth so white you'd think there's a flashlight in their mouths." "especially romantic love." "mini-malls." "There is nothing more depressing than a mini-mall." " Mini-malls." " Except perhaps your mortgages your furtive looks to your sleeping BlackBerry" " I do like blackberries." " And this man dandruff falling of his head." "That was wonderful." "I'm glad you enjoyed it." "Thank you." "You'd like to go somewhere for a drink?" "We don't have to..." "I'm just not used to being out with a celebrity." "Talking about literature on public television once a week and writing the occasional review doesn't make me much of a celebrity." "Don't forget your history books "The Origins of American Hedonism." "if you don't like the idea of being stared at" "We can go to my place." "Then the only person staring would be me." "If I go to your place will you do something for me?" "That was awful." "It was OK." "That was amazing." "I wish I could play." "Take lessons." "You'd enjoy playing if you knew you wouldn't have such a high opinion of my playing." "Now you're fishing for compliments." "Is this a metronome?" "It's like a heart beat." "Even... great pianists have a problem with their core acceleration." "You're a very charming man." "don't you?" "I swear I didn't invent it." "Can you find anyone that enchanting without sex?" "Nobody." "What is this?" "My dark room." "I used to develop my own pictures." "no time." "but I can't really understand that stuff." "Of course you can." "Thank you." "Something relates little princess because she's... the center of the picture" "The queen and the king." "They are just... ghostly reflections in the mirror." "Well she must have been curious about going to bed with you." "so she could tell her girlfriends what a man of our age close up." "I'm merely an experience for her." "One of many to come." "She'll remember me as... the old guy who gave her some culture on the way." "that sounds about right." "right?" "Yeah." "Gotta stop worrying about growing old." "Worry about growing up." "thank your lucky stars for such a one-shot encounter." "It wasn't a one-shot encounter." "She came back for more?" "You have the most beautiful breasts I've ever seen." "You like them?" "I worship them." "And you have a beautiful face" "I can't stop looking at." "You know something?" "You're a work of art." "A work of art." "A real work of art." "Let's talk about you." "Have you had many women?" "Why?" "More than 50 or less?" "More." "Who's counting?" "How about you?" "Not many." "How many?" "Five." "Five boyfriends." "Five." "Five." "I see." "who were they?" "right?" "Younger than me?" "Of course they were younger." "They were boys." "Boys?" "Sure." "You want to know the most extreme thing I ever did?" "Hmm well..." "Once I went to bed with two guys together." "Two together?" "They were my childhood friends and... that's how we ended up one night." "The three of us were drunk and we ended up in bed together." "All three of you?" "when you're 17" "You do a lot of things just to feel secure and emotional." "Right." "Consuela." "My whole life was dedicated to independence and at some cost I had achieved my goal." "it was in that moment" "That my terrible jealousy was born." "ever really possess her." "I feel anxious unless I speak to her on the phone every day and then I feel anxious after we've spoken." "What are you wearing?" "Where are you?" "I knew it's only a matter of time before a young man found her and took her away." "I knew." "Because I was once that young man who would have done it." "at least does it makes you feel young?" "It's like playing soccer with a bunch of 20 year olds." "It doesn't make you feel 20 because you're playing with huge difference every second of the game." "You have to leave her." "Your hands will always be tied by this girl." "anyway." "So it's always better to keep one step ahead." "Take her to a nice romantic spot tell her it's over." "That's what I'd do." "My parents talk about all these places they wanted to go to." "but... leaving Cuba was their first and last trip." "I don't want my life to be like that." "Let me take you places." "What the hell are you saying?" "You brought her here to say goodbye." " Where would we go?" " Europe." "or Madrid." "the real Goya." "The Prado?" "Do you mean it?" "Of course I meant it." "you'll love Venice." " And you would ride a gondola with me." " Maybe." "Maybe." "Maybe" may be your favorite word." "I'll sing to you in the gondola." "We'll see." "What's this from:" "They're making a beast with two backs"." "What's that from?" "William Shakespeare!" "The Moor of Venice"." "And we're making a monster with four legs." "Where shall we have dinner?" "I'm going out tonight." " You are?" "With whom?" " With my brother." "We're going to go dancing to that place "Kalimas"." "Your brother...?" "You never mentioned a brother." "there is a lot of things you don't know about me yet." "Thank you." "Here we are." "I really had a great time with you today." "Me too." "Thank you." "Bye." "Bye." "Are you really going out with your brother tonight?" "David!" "That was a joke." "Bye." "On the nights she isn't with me I am deformed thinking of where she might be." "And all this because this girl will tell me a thousand times how much she adores me and means it." "This girl will never once tell me she yearns for my cock." "How are you?" "What are you doing here?" "I was on my way to see a friend who lives near here." "How's things?" "What's the matter?" " Did you came here to check on me?" " I told you." "I was down in the neighborhood and I saw this place." "Do you want to ruin everything?" "No." "So then you're going to have to start trusting me." "I'll call you tomorrow." "I'll call you." "I never behaved like such an idiot even when I was her age." "at least now she won't want to see me anymore." "I understand her." "even I wouldn't want to see me anymore if I was her." "Maybe it's just as well." " Yes." " Just as well." "my God." "Hello?" "it's Consuela." "During the last two days" "I've been thinking a bit about us." "Have you?" "Yes." "And what were you thinking?" "That it's all over." "What do you really want from me?" "What do I really want from you?" "You spend you whole life going through relationships without ever really bonding with anyone." "at least I would like to know who I am for you." "at all." "Even little kids are jealous of their toys until they get tired of them." "and want new ones." "So... is that how it's going to be between us two?" "Have you ever imagined... a future with me?" "A future with you scares me." " It scares you?" " Yes." "Why?" "there's a 30 odd year age difference between you and me and you have your whole life ahead of you." "It's just a matter of time before you realise it too." "I asked what you wanted to do with me." "When you make love to a woman you get revenge for all the things that defeated you in life." "I spent my whole life jumping from one relationship to another and that time was not passing." "for example when he was writing" "Lady Chatterley's Lover"... she asked me one day." "I was to afraid to ask who I was for her." "How long could it have lasted?" "Surprise." "Yes." "Let me... wow!" "Thank God for Carolyn." "Carolyn is my only point of contact with the self-confident man I used to be." "How was that play?" "Which play?" "The one you took George to." "just..." "Here I go." "hit and run." "Just the way you like it." "Good thing I don't have pets." "Only you." "Which one was Carlos Alonzo?" " From high school." " What was his thing?" "What did he want you to do?" "He liked... to watch me menstruate." "What?" " He liked to watch me menstruate." " I don't believe this." "The respectable Cuban-American girl whose parents worship Ronald Reagan no less aged 15... 16." "I'm so sorry." "That makes all the difference." " I think you're being ridiculous." " How did you manage it?" "David..." "I'm really curious." "What do you do?" "you ask him to come over?" "I'm starting." "all Cuban and "respectable" "And the pair of you retire to the bathroom where you have the ceremony of the pulling down of the tampon." "it's just like you were there." "Just filling in... the missing..." "just filling in the blanks." "Which blanks?" "Five." "Now we're down to 3." "Because of the two guys who... sorry." "What is this?" " What?" " This." "You're fucking other women." "I had two husbands who fucked other women." "least of all with you." "You have everything with me David." "Pure fucking." "No icky entanglements." "How could you do this?" "There aren't many like me." "I actually understand you." "I am one in a million." "How could you possibly fuck...?" "I don't know whose that is." "Why don't you put it on a bagel and eat it." "I have a pretty good idea." "I'm sure you do." "the poet?" "George uses tampons?" "Since when?" "listen." "George... he meets girls." "to his wife in New Rochelle." "And since he's always short on funds..." " And since some of them are married..." " George fucks all these women in your bed?" "some." "He uses the bed in the guest room." "His marriage isn't paradise." "Probably a bit like mine and he wasn't desperate enough to get out." "I don't believe a fucking word you're saying." "Everything in your life is so meticulous." " It's so orderly..." " I don't know whose tampon this is." "You have to believe me." "You're all I'm holding on to." "In this at least I was telling the truth." "Of course the whole situation was ridiculous." "Do I snore?" " Yes?" " It's worse." "What?" "Well..." "You drool." "Yes." " You drool on..." " Not true!" "You drool in your sleep." "Beautiful women are invisible." "Invisible?" "What the hell does that mean?" "Invisible." "They jump out at you." "A beautiful woman stands out... stands apart" " You can't miss her." " But we never actually see the person." "We see the beautiful shell." "We're blocked by the beauty barrier." "Look at you." "What?" "What did you say?" "Mr Kepesh." " No." "What?" "Or maybe you do not want to hear." "Maybe that's the problem with you." "we never make it inside." "Do you always work in black and white?" "Mainly." "I like the theatricality." "Is that how you see the world?" "In black and white?" "No." "That distinction belongs to my son." "You always speak of him with such bitterness." "that would be so strange." "Take a look." "Beautiful picture." "Beautiful woman." "my hands are huge." "I want you so much." "David..." "Your fridge is empty." "If we are staying in we have to go shopping." "but your Spanish is awful." "I'll teach you." "I'll teach you "mañana"." " Isn't that your poet friend?" " Keep walking." " That woman is not his wife?" " That's right." " I find that disgusting." " It isn't our business." " And that's the end of it?" " Let's not discuss it here." " Are you OK with that?" " With what?" "For all you know he's just having a cup of coffee with a friend." "you're jumping to conclusions." "being younger than you doesn't make me a child." "it's not our business." "but what do you think about it?" "What I think is... that marriage... is a problematic institution at best." "Which is why you married your wife." "Which is why I don't cheat on her." "yes!" "Yes!" "Yes!" "What do you want me to say?" "I was married." "It was a mistake." "Did you try?" "Did you really try?" "Where I come from... but they're not." "You're such a cynic." "I'm such a realist." "I think you're just infantile." "I'm sure you're right." "I hung in there for over a year." "It was a real roller coaster ride." "it has to end." "What are you doing a week from Sunday?" "I don't know." "Why?" "Something to drink?" "please." " Okay." "What's a week from Sunday?" "My parents are throwing me a graduation party to celebrate my MFA." "I'd like you to come." "David..." "Everyone knows about you." "For a whole year and half they've been asking me about this mystery man I'm seeing." "They're going to start thinking I'm with some drug dealer if you don't stop hiding." "I'm not hiding." " You didn't come to my birthday." " Well you didn't ask me." "I asked you to Christmas dinner with my parents." "You had plans." "you couldn't come." "Thanksgiving I really couldn't." "David..." "Huh?" "I want you to meet my family." "But I'm not going to insist." "I just want you to say yes because you want to come." " Here we go." " Thanks." "Enjoy." "Listen to me." "Listen to me." "When I come to your party you have to promise to do something." "What?" "Don't take your eyes of me" "When the Cubanates come" "Stampeding towards me." "That's all?" "That's all." "Okay." "So..." " That means yes?" " That means yes." "Okay." "I'm happy." "Good." "And now the food." "I hope grandparents will be there" "all her childhood friends... and who knows" "Carlos Alonso and the two guys who made her the meat of their sandwich." "And I'll be introduced as..." "The Teacher Who's on Television." "What's wrong with that?" "What's wrong is I'll be judged for my age." "They'll say all the horrible things they say in these cases." "She's with me because she wants something in return and I'm with her because I like new girls." "Pathetic." "It's about time to face your situation." "That's what I think." "Who is Carlos Alonso?" "Some guy." " Hello?" " Hi." "I was reading." "I just wanted to say goodnight... and tell you how happy I am that you're going to come tomorrow and how important it is for me." "And for me too." "Okay." "See you then." "See you then." " Good night." " Good night." "where are you?" "my..." "I'm stuck on the George Washington bridge." "My car's broken down." "Consuela?" "I called AAA." "They say they're going to be at least an hour." "And then they're going to have to get me off the bridge and tow me some place." "Okay?" "Consuela?" "Why are you doing this to me?" "Consuela?" "Hello?" "One new message." "First new message..." "I saw you today on television playing the wise old man who knows everything." "The one who always knows better." "and what people should read and all about music all about art..." "You know so many things." "trying to celebrate this important moment of my life." "And I decide to have a party and I want to have you here." "Why?" "why?" "Because you mean everything to me." "You do." "you are not here." "I just wanted you to know something... that I loved you." "Very much." "very much." "Consuela?" "It's me." "Open up." "open up." "Hello." "Why are all the lights off?" "I'm having an affair." "Did you hear what I just said?" "You!" " Is that all that you have to say?" " Congratulations." "Congratulations... you know that?" "I'm sorry." "I'm not sure what to say." "This is awful." "I'm coming apart." "you always told me you were happily married." " I am." " Well... but I can't see how that can be entirely true." "you don't look terribly happy right now." " But you don't understand." " Kenny..." "I'm trying to understand." "You're having an affair." "I'm the expert." "There's no-one else to talk to." "I'm sorry." "What you going to do?" "I don't know." "Would you like something to drink?" "What will you have?" "Grand Marnier" "Armagnac..." "No." "Diet coke." "Diet coke it is." "This isn't some kind of irresponsible fling." "and the kids are my whole life." "Knowing you it's probably simplest if you just break off the other..." "I can't." "This woman is... like no-one else on earth." "so full of energy." "And she's a great person." "She has degrees in chemistry and art history." "for chrissakes." "And her kids are..." " fabulous" " She has children?" "little Shawn..." "Hold on Kenny!" "What are we talking about here?" "Her children or your adultery?" "what would you call it?" "you sound like Lisa." "You try to over-simplify a complicated situation." "I..." "I'm committed to this relationship who's terrified of committing to anyone." "Dana is a real person so don't equate what's happening to me with your serial tom-catting." " What have I got to do with it?" " Plenty!" "Anyway" "Dana isn't one of your little star-struck students." "If you want my advice" "Lisa mustn't know a word of this" " until you've made up your mind..." " Lisa already knows." "Why on earth did you tell Lisa?" " You expect me to lie to my wife?" " Now you can't retreat even if you want to." "God!" "I don't know why I came here." "I don't know what help you could possibly be." "maybe..." "I hoped that you might relate to me as a father..." " for just once." " I don't know how to relate to you." "You're so morally superior to me in every way." "Even our adulteries can't compare." "what have I got to put up against that and her kids do too." "You're such a jerk." "committed..." "You're going to have to end your marriage." "How can I?" "If I walk out on Lisa and the kids... then I'll destroy them." "Why do you say that?" "You survived." "Your mother survived." "Are you trying to tell me that you did the morally correct thing by walking out on us?" "It was honest." "God!" " I'm leaving." " There's the door." " Goodbye." " Bye." "Consuela didn't call the next day." "and not even the day after." "She never called again." "You've gotta eat something." "You gotta get out of this fucking bed." "George." " You didn't ruin anything." "It just came to its natural end." "You were her teacher her big growing-up experience." "You called the whole thing from day one." "It was bound to end sooner or later." "Eat." "I miss her." "that's easy for you to say now that she's out of the picture." "George." "I never felt anything like that in all my life." "it's better late than never." "Now you gotta get back with your own life." "You're gonna be feeling better soon." "Time heals all wounds." "Now open wide cause here comes." "The train entering the station." "Open wide." "There you go..." "How does that taste like?" "I added a little oregano and some chives." "You're going to make somebody very happy one day." "You know after a long time of silence and betrayal" "lately Amy and I..." " have been finding each other again." " You and Amy?" "I feel OK." "That's the most incredible thing I've heard you say in all the years I've known you." "Life always keeps back more surprises than we can ever imagine." "Yeah." "Dave..." "I need a favor." "I gotta go give a poetry reading at NYU next month and they want somebody to introduce me." "I understand you wanting to distract me but this is transparent occupational therapy." "This is no joke." "I want you to present me in the flattering terms all those portly pandering profs." "Present you?" "Who's going to present me?" "but..." "I can't write anything now." "I'm finished." "I may never teach another class." "Find somebody else." "I spent half of life playing Horatio to your third rate Hamlet." "the father-hater the women who don't know when goodbye means goodbye." "And for this you owe me big-time." "Now I expect you to do this in the name of our friendship." "Now would you fuckin' eat something?" "The Poetry of George O'Hearn makes no apology for itself." "As A.E. Housman wrote in his celebrated essay" "I don't know what poetry is but I recognize it when I hear it." "There can be no question that this evening's guest writes what we all instantly recognise as poetry." "Since the publication 25 years ago of his first work in the New Yorker" "George O'Hearn's vigorously masculine voice has become a fixture of the American poetic landscape." "the language of the street potent urban and impatient." "But also the un-selfcentered promptings of an unquiet heart." "that unique combination of sensibilities earned George O'Hearn" "The Pulitzer Prize." "But rather than procrastinate further or damn him with praise he will inevitably consider feint" "I turn the proceedings over to New York's own should I say" "George O'Hearn." "George!" "I'll call an ambulance." "David." "He just woke up a little while ago." "David." "George..." "It's Kepesh." "George." "I'm here." "George..." "I owe you." "I wonder who he thought I was." "I think he knew perfectly well." "You're sweet." "I took him as he was." "He so appreciated that." "He took me the same." " You're going where?" " I just told you." "Florida." "just for the week-end." " The girl's..." " Her name is Dana." "You're going to meet her folks?" "Well I think they should know I'm not just some kind of pervert." "you're nearly 40 years old." "You don't need the approval of the parents of a girl who has three children of her own." "Does she want her parents' approval?" "you've got it." "I just wanted you to understand." "This doesn't mean that" "I don't love Lisa." "what are you doing?" "You're going to escape from one prison and race headlong into another maximum security facility." "Where did you get the idea that marriage is a prison?" "From serving time." "It wasn't about your mom." " I just wasn't cut out for it." " Is this your version of approval?" "listen to me." "I'm the only father you have." "I'm the only one you'll ever have." "What a comfort that is." "I know I disappointed you." "you've got to get past this rage." "If you ever want there to be anything between us you've gotta turn the page." "I have an appointment." "I'm not finished." "I really have to run." " What appointment?" " George's funeral." "George who?" " Your friend George?" " Yeah." " He died?" " Yeah." "I gotta go." "OK?" "I'm sorry." "Hello?" "I saw the obit in The Times and I..." "In two columns." "I guess." "How are you holding up?" "but I'll be OK." "How's everything?" "Seattle is a great place to build a business." "I'm exhausted." "But I love it." "Dave?" "Nothing." "that's all." "you and I." "We spent our life chasing after what?" "The only time you got pregnant you had an abortion because the time wasn't right." "That was 15 years ago." "Did the right time ever come?" "Not the right person." "Do you remember that tampon you found in my bathroom?" "That thing belonged to a young girl I was in love with." "What..." "What kind of chance did we have?" "She and I?" "None." "At best we could have dragged it out a couple of years but in the end she'd have realized there was little room in her life for a man thirty odd years older than she." "Nothing ever should have happened between me and that girl." "It was just a mistake." "You're getting old David." "The way men look at me changes every day." "There are women my age a lot of women who are on these dating... websites." "You're guaranteed a certain number of dates per year." "And you pay for the silence... and... every time." "I like them like that." "Is it possible that this is really the first time we talked to each other?" "Well... it's not bad." "I know a lot of people who never got that far in 40 years of marriage." "What time is your flight?" "9:30." "I'll take you." "No." "Why start now?" "I concentrated on my work." "I kept asking myself if it was right not to go to that fucked up graduation party of hers." "It took two years but I finally got past the death of George." "I even accepted the loss of Consuela." "I recovered my equilibrium and my independence." "Who am I kidding?" "The paintings and sculptures of the day would literally and figuratively absorb the energy." "if you will." "you put beautifully in your opening chapter." "But also you're making a comment on the relationship between art and ownership." "that's exactly right." "they think that they own the pictures." "the pictures own them." "The pictures own them." "they're allowed to house them all." "They're really custodians for a period of time." "They're free to admire it" " they're free to worship it if they like..." " In theory..." " you could purchase the Great Pyramid." " I take your point." "the pyramid will still be around and you'll be..." "With the Pharaohs." "My guest today her novel is "Blue Hyacinth." "This is "Book Chat" "I'm David Kapesh." "that was lovely." "Thank you." "Not too painful." "Indeed!" "Thank you." "and happy New Year." " Thank you and congratulations." "It's a really... it's a good read." "Thank you." "One new message." "Six saved messages." "The first new message." "it's Consuela." "How are you?" "but..." "I want to tell you something." "I want to tell you myself before you... hear it from someone else." "I don't know... call when you can." "My cellphone number is 555-0122." "Please call." "Thanks." "Bye." "it's Consuela." "I realized that I lived all these years just to listen to these words." "listening to her message fearing the worst." "she was getting married." "Perhaps she even wanted my blessing." "David?" "David..." "Where are you?" "I'm in the car." "I was in front of your building when I left the message." "What are you doing driving around New York on New Year's Eve?" "I don't know." "I don't know what I'm doing." "Consuela?" "I need to see you." "Then come." " Do you have time?" " Always." " Okay." "I'm coming now." " Yes." "Hi." "Hi." "So... how have you been?" "That one's new." "it's..." "Edward Weston." "I like your hair." "I cut a little each day." "So when it disappears I won't miss it as much." "I'm sick." "I have... breast cancer." "I'm having surgery in two weeks." "Cancer?" "This is..." "Are you...?" "Afraid?" "No." " No?" " Not exactly." "That's not what I meant." "I meant..." "What happened?" "I was in the shower one morning and I..." "I felt this... thing under my arm." "So I went to the doctor and he said it was probably nothing to worry about." "I went to a second doctor and a third doctor and..." "You know the story." "The third doctor said it was something to worry about." "And did you panic?" "I panicked." "I spent a whole month in pure fear." "Tonight I was going to go to this party but..." "David... no." "Don't cry." "Do not cry." "Why didn't you call me?" "Why didn't you call me when this happened?" "I couldn't tell you." "I couldn't tell you of all people." "You know what's funny?" "I feel older than you now." "that if you should ever you'll phone me." "What can I do?" "What can I do?" "It's..." "It's like not being able... to get into a... because you're stuck." "I'm stuck inside myself." "When I think of all the things I used to think were so important" "All the arguments I got into with my mom" "It's stupid all the time I wasted." "sleeping... sleeping my life away." "David..." "I need to ask you a favor." "Something I can only ask you." "Anything." "What is it?" "After you" "I never had a boyfriend." "who loved my body as much as you did." "I find that hard to believe." "Were there many?" "No." "What about work?" "Never fooled around at work?" " they all did." " Well of course they did." "I just wasn't interested." "I know you loved me." "And you loved my body." "So... before the doctors..." " ruin it..." " Stop." "Stop talking that way and stop thinking that way." "Consuela no-one's going to ruin you." "Consuela..." "What is it you want me to do?" "That's the Paris Opera House." "I missed you." "I missed all the places we never went." "Would you like to stay here tonight?" "No." "I have to go." "Would you like me to go with you when you go to the hospital?" "Consuela..." "You can't do this alone." "Why do you say that?" "You do everything alone." "David..." "Poor man." "You're more scared than me." "Will you still want to fuck me if I lose my breast?" "Will you be up for that?" "Will you?" "I'm sorry David." "Really sorry." "David." "1." "Happy New Year!" "Happy New Year." " Dad..." " Hi." "What are you doing here?" "I wondered if you could spare me a few minutes?" " er... come here." "uhuh." "I owe you one." "Bye." "She's in very good hands." " I know her surgeon." " And?" "They're going to operate tomorrow." "She told me in two weeks." "No." " They're going to do it tomorrow." " What does that mean?" "I'm not her doctor." "So... but it's probably not a good thing." "It's a nightmare." "Have you known her long?" "I hadn't seen her for a couple of years." "She called me out of the blue on New Year's Eve with the news." "but I don't want to make the wrong move here." "She... when she left... she told me she didn't want me to call her." "She was quite definite about that." "I'm sorry." "I'm coming." "I'm sorry to have barged in on you like this." "I know you're strapped for time." "I'm sorry I couldn't be of more help." "Stay strong." "That's what you tell your patients." "It must be really tough." "Oncology." "I was your son." "I was prepared for it." " I'm glad to see you again." " Yeah." " And I'm sorry that it was under such uh..." " Me too." "How are things at home?" "We're still together." "Thanks for asking." "I'm glad to hear it." "Dad..." "What are you gonna do?" "Why did she have me take these photographs?" "Did she want them for herself?" "Or did she intend for me to keep them?" "Well that makes sense." "Did I ever tell you my theory about beautiful girls?" "A million times." "No-one can see them." "Well?" "Did you ever see her?" "I mean all of her." "I didn't understand what I saw." "A lawyer's answer." "You're over-analysing it." "Who would end a relationship because I missed her graduation party." "She was this weird clutch of inconsistencies." "You're talking about her in the past tense." "So do you think they will let me in today?" "She just got out of intensive care." "You can go today." "thank you." "You're welcome." "Time passes when you're not looking." "David..." "Yes." "They took the whole thing." "I didn't think you would come." "Why?" "Why did you think that?" "Because I'm no longer beautiful." "Yes you are." "the beautiful Amazonian queen?" "She actually cut off her right breast so she could shoot her arrows faster and she was no slouch." "Will the book be different if we read it 10 years later?" "You remember my first class." " I remember everything." " Me too." "Every second." "I'm gonna miss you." "I'm here." "Subtitles by Guzeppi" "Edited by LeapinLar"