" Hey." " Hey." "Whatcha doing?" "Oh, my mom sent me all our old Christmas stuff." "So I figure I should have it untangled by New Year's." " You, uh, you want a hand?" " Yeah, sure." " Or I could just do it." " Egh, good enough." "So, um, Richie's not here yet?" "No, I hope he's okay." "You haven't heard from him?" "No." "He's usually here by now." "Why don't you just toss those and buy some new ones?" "They have sentimental value." "Piece of crap!" "Hello." "Hey, man." "Where are you?" "I-I don't know." "I've just been driving all night." "You okay?" "Nicole and I were worried." "I'm, uh, I'm not so great." "How'd it go with the wife?" "Well, I-I left her." "Yeah, okay, you did it." "Atta boy." "Except now Lina never wants to see me again." "Aw, God, I'm sorry." "Yeah, it's all pretty terrible." "[bee buzzing] It really couldn't get any-- Oh, God." " What?" " There's a bee in the car." "What?" "There is a bee in the car." "Get away from me." "Nah!" "Ooh-ooh." "Listen to me, just roll the window down." "It's stuck." "There is a bee in the car, and the window is stuck." "This is madness." "Okay, you--you-- you gotta relax, okay?" "It's just a bee in the car." "There's a bee in the car?" "I would die." "Listen, it's gonna be okay." "Just hang up the phone, and roll down the other window." "Okay, okay." "Get off." "No!" "We've just gotten word that a car that a car has crashed into a convenience store in South Philadelphia." "It appears that no one was hurt, but apparently the driver's trapped inside the vehicle." "We'll bring you more as this story develops." "Up next, what your dog's not telling you." "Okay." "I'm okay." "Seriously!" "Now?" "Sir, we just need to remove this beam, and we can free you from the vehicle." "Um, that's okay." "What?" "Yeah, if it's all right with you, I'd just like to stay here." "You want to stay in the car?" "Yeah!" "You see, lately my life has been one horrible thing after another." "And I know whatever I do next is only going to make it worse." "So..." "I'm just not going to do anything." "But, please, tell everyone great rescue!" "Sir, you will need to get out of that car." "Right." "Except I'm not doing that." "Uh, I think we have a situation here." "[bee buzzing] Neh." "How did you not die?" "(news anchor on TV) If you've been tracking this story with us, about 45 minutes ago, a man crashed his car through the front of a convenience store." "But there seems to be a new development." "We go to Holly Ellenbogen who is live at the scene." "Joel, it's really a puzzler." "Rescue crews have freed the vehicle, but the man inside is refusing to leave." "Authorities are afraid to get too close to the car." "They don't know if the man is armed, but he is certainly exhibiting some very erratic behavior." " Hey!" " Hey!" " Ready to go?" " Yeah." "Uh, just give me a sec." "I'll be right with you." "Nice place." "Oh, thanks, man." "Oh, is that your brother?" "Oh, no, that's, uh, my partner Aaron." "Oh, I thought you were a teacher." "What, uh, what business are you in?" "Oh, no, not that kind of partner." "My partner." "My partner, partner." "Um..." "Oh!" "Oh!" "Okay." " You didn't know?" " Uh, no." "But that's fantastic." "Well, I mean, it's not fantastic, it's, uh, fine." "You know, it's regular." "You okay there?" "Yeah, totally." " So Aaron is" " Also gay." "Well, I assume." "Otherwise, that is one bad relationship." "Hey, what are you doing there?" "Oh, that's not me asking." "That's me imagining what he might say if just you were" "Oh, please stop." "I don't think I can." "All right, people, let's stay calm." "Push 'em back, guys." "Folks, you know the drill, stay behind the yellow tape." "Do we have any more information?" "No, we ran the tags on the vehicle." "It's registered to a Richard Velch, that's all we know so far." "Hang on." "Hello?" "Hey, didn't we go to elementary school with a Richie Velch?" "Maybe." "Did we go to school with Richie Velch?" "Richie?" "Yeah." "Why?" "Uh, Holly Ellenbogen wants to know." "Ugh." "Hi, Holly." "Who's that?" "Ethan Haas, we're playing racquetball." "The guy who came to Oprah's birthday and pretended to be someone else?" "Ugh, I don't like him." "Holly sends kisses." "Um, yeah, yeah, we went to school with Richie Velch." " Yeah, he was at my party." " He was at Ethan's party." "Horrible party." "Loved your party." "So, does he have Richie's cell phone number?" "Do you--y'know, I could just put you two on with each other" " Please don't." " No, that's okay." "Do you have Richie's cell phone number?" "No, is it important?" " Is it important?" " It's important." "It's important." " I know someone who might have it." " Oh, okay." "He doesn't deserve you." "I just miss him so much." "I know, but you're gonna get past this." "I'm sure he's over it already." "I bet he's running over some new girl right now." "H ey." "Hi, I need Richie's cell phone number." " Do you or Lina" " Whoa." "You're gonna call him?" "After what he did to her?" "No, it's not for me, it's for Holly Ellenbogen." "Who?" "She went to school with us." "She's on the news." "No?" "Oh, she doesn't know who you are." "Tell her I'm the one who killed the bunny with my shoe." "Oh, she's the one that killed the bunny with her shoe." "Really?" "She killed some bunny with her shoe?" "[laughing] Oh, yeah, I like her." "Wait, what does she want it for?" "I don't know." "I guess she met Richie at my party and now she wants to get together or something." "You know, a lot of nice connections were made that night." "Oh yeah, absolutely." "If it hadn't have been for your party, then my sister wouldn't have met the man who broke her heart and crushed her feet." "Yeah, it wasn't a win-win for everybody." "Well, you know what?" "You tell that news chick that we don't have his number anymore because we burned all evidence of that lying scumbag bastard." "We still on for brunch tomorrow?" " Yep!" " Okey-doke!" "Hello?" "Mrs. Carmelo, hi, this is Ethan Haas." "Is Duncan there?" "Oh, I'm sorry, dear, he's working today." "He's at, um..." "I can't believe I'm blanking on her name." "The girl..." "They used to date." "Oh, isn't this ridiculous?" "The girl..." "She's married to the football..." "We were at their house yesterday." " Nicole Allen?" " What?" " Nicole Allen?" " What?" " Nicole" " What?" " Nicole Allen!" " Nicole Allen!" "So do you have Nicole's number?" "No, but you can get Duncan on his cell." "It's speed dial 2." "And, um, if I'm using my phone?" "Oh!" "215..." "Gotcha." "He's calling another number." "Can he hurry?" "I'm back on air in four minutes." "Holly wants to know if you can hurry." "She really is a pain in the ass." "Did you just call me a pain in the ass?" "He did." "Yes, he did." "Well, tell him I am not." "She is not a pain in the ass." "Just huuuuge, man." "Hello?" "Duncan, hi, this is Ethan Haas." "Hey, man!" "Nicole, it's Ethan Haas." "Son of a bitch!" "Did she just call me a son of a bitch?" "Did he just call me a bitch?" "(Duncan) So what's up?" "Do you have Richie Velch's cell phone number?" "Sure, it's 610..." "He's getting the number." "Tell him it's about freakin' time." "Just generally appreciative." "Yo, Richie's supposed to be here by now." "I'm kind of worried about him." "His girlfriend dumped him last night." "Yeah, I know." "I was there." "You were there?" "Ethan was there." "What's going on?" "They're talking about some girl that broke up with Richie last night." "Who cares about that?" "Give me the number." "Holly says thanks again." "It's 610..." "Got it." "Hey, what do you need it for?" "Oh, Richie Velch plowed into a convenience store this morning and now he won't get out of his car." "Oh, my God!" "He's that guy?" "Yeah, and I'm gonna try and get an exclusive." "Bye!" "You're welcome!" "Glad we could help." "Hello?" "Sorry, bye." "Thank you." "Hello?" " Is this Richie Velch?" " Yes." "Hi!" "It's Holly Ellenbogen." " Who?" " From elementary school." "I don't..." "I'm also on Channel 9 News." "You probably know me as the woman who killed the bunny with her shoe." "What?" "Okay, forget that." "Look, I'm going live in less than a minute." "If you could give me an exclusive interview, it would be so amazing." "Oh, I don't..." "Not just for me!" "It would give you a chance to explain to the world why you won't leave your car." "I can help you get your message out there." "I don't have a message." "It would really be better if you had a message." "I'm sorry, I'm gonna go." "Wait wait wait." "Is this about the girl who dumped you last night?" "You know about that?" "Maybe there's something you'd like to say to her." "[phone beeping] I'm sorry, I got another call." "No!" "Hello?" "Richie, I just heard from Ethan Haas you got in an accident?" "You won't get out of your car?" "Um, yeah." "It's sort of gotten out of hand." "I think this is it." "Only moments ago, I was speaking on this very phone with Richard Velch." "The man who remains barricaded inside his car." "As the standoff continues, we wait for his desperate message to be revealed." "Oh, my God." "Man, what did you do?" "Is he okay?" "Are you okay?" "Um, no." "He's not okay." "Just sit tight, buddy." "Nicole and I, we're coming to get you." "Come on." "Oh, my God!" "Look!" "Right, Richie." "Okay." "Hey." "Turn on the TV." "Is this that stupid Animal Planet thing again?" "I do not care about the meerkats." "Just turn on Channel 9." "You're not gonna believe it." "We still don't know if Mr. Velch has a weapon in the vehicle..." "So at this time we're continuing to proceed with caution." " Holy crap!" " Yep!" "As the standoff enters its second grueling hour, the question remains..." "Why is Richard Velch unwilling to leave his car?" "There's Richie!" "When are they going to take his license away?" "I have recently learned from an unnamed source there may be a woman involved." "Are we the unnamed source?" "I think we are!" "Who is this mystery woman and what role does she play in this tense personal drama?" "Am I the mystery woman?" "I think you are." "Live from South Philadelphia, this is Holly Ellenbogen, News 9." "Hey, you wanna go down there?" "Why would we?" "'Cause a car smashed into a store, which is kinda cool." "And we know the guy in it." "Which is really cool." "Are you judging me?" "I'm getting my coat!" "Yay!" "Sir, no one's allowed past the tape." "No no no, the guy in the car is a friend of ours." "Behind the tape." "Excuse me, did I hear you people say you know Richard Velch?" "Hi, Holly." "It's Nicole Allen." "From school?" "Honey, a lot of people think they know me because I'm on television." "Hey, there's Scott Mendoza!" "Yo Scotty, over here!" " Hey, what's up, guys!" " Man, how are ya?" "What are you doing here?" "The guy in the car, that's Richie Velch." "You don't remember him from school?" "You went to school with this guy?" "Yeah, we used to steal his lunch and stuff his sandwich down his pants." " That's Richie Sandwichpants?" " Yeah!" "Yeah well, we're friends with him now." "He works for Duncan." " Think he's got a weapon?" " Nah, no way, not Richie." "Good, then we're gonna go in there and pullim out." " No, wait wait wait." " Scotty, just..." "Could you just give us a few minutes with him?" " Please let us talk to him." " He'll listen to us." "I can't let you in there." "Come on, man." "I'm telling you, this can all end with no one getting hurt." "Hey, if something goes wrong in there, it's my ass on the line." "Nothing's gonna go wrong." "Come on, Scotty." "What do you say?" "For old time's sake?" "I'm sorry, there are rules." "I can get you Eagles tickets, 50 yard line." "And Yonk Allen will sign any article of clothing you want." "Watch where you step, it's a mess in there." "Hey." "Hey, man." "Hey!" "You wanna let us in?" "Okay." "Hey, check it out-- Free cupcakes!" "Yeah, there's, like, 40 cops." "Rob the convenience store." "Hey." "Hey, sweetie." "Hi." "And the woman on the phone is?" "Holly Ellenbogen" " On TV." "She was fat in third grade." "Rich, you gotta get out of the car." "No, this is all I have." "I don't have Lina." "I don't have a place to live." "All I have is this car." "And I'm not leaving it." "I'm sorry-- Sorry." "Um, do you have a middle name?" "What?" "It's just better if you have a middle name." "You know, like Lee Harvey Oswald, James Earl Ray, John Wilkes Booth, you know?" "They all killed people." "I'm just a very bad driver." "It would really help me out." "Britney." "Britney, huh?" "It was my mother's maiden name." "How have you not killed people?" "We're going back to that South Philadelphia convenience store, where our own Holly Ellenbogen is the only reporter actually inside the car." "Joel, I'm inside the car with Richard Britney Velch." "Holly, can you tell us what's going on in there?" "The two negotiators are attempting to convince Mr. Velch to leave the vehicle." "The tension is palpable." "Do you have any mints?" "No." "Gum, maybe a lozenge?" "Sorry, sweetie." "It seems the negotiators are unable to meet any of Mr. Velch's demands." "Let's see if we can listen in." "Rich, man, you can't" "You're doing fine." "Rich, man, you can't stay in this car." "They're not gonna let you." "Well, I'm not leaving." "Look, I know you're upset." "I know this thing with Lina is really rough, but" "If you think it's just really rough, then you don't understand." "It's like..." "It's like my heart has stopped." "(Rich on TV) She" " She made me happy." "Before I met her, I didn't know what happy was." "I just thought it was this word." "And now, without her there's..." "There's no words for this." "Rich, I get it." "I do." "I mean, I..." "I know what it's like to lose someone." "I know what it's like to know, no question, that you're never gonna be..." "That you're never gonna be like a whole person again." "Never." "But you don't just stop." "You gotta keep going, man." "You just gotta." "I disagree." "Lina literally made my life worth living." "What's that?" "What?" "It's back!" "Hang on, it's just a bee." "In the car?" "There's a bee in the car!" "What is this show?" "Excuse me, sorry-- Excuse me." "Hi, excuse me." "Can you tell us what's happening now?" "No, I can't say, sir." "Please stand back." "Oh, sorry." "Oh, wait." "I get TV on this." "You get the TV on your cell phone?" "That's so crazy." "When would you even need to use that?" "Um, now?" "Kind of walked into that." "The situation is coming to a head." "Authorities have given Mr. Velch two minutes to leave the vehicle before they smash their way in here." "At present, there is no sign of the bee." "Come on, Rich." "This is gonna turn really bad." "If they gotta pull you out of here, you could get arrested." "You could get hurt." "I don't care." "If I take one step out of this car, it means I'm starting my life without Lina." "And I won't do that." "I won't." "Sweetie, it's already started." "But you don't know where it's gonna go." "Right now, you think you're never gonna be with her again." "But life is long." "You don't know what's gonna happen." "We got one minute left." "Do you think they'll shoot him?" "Oh, God." "I hope not." "Poor Richie." "That gets amazing reception." " Doesn't it?" " Yeah." "Come on, Rich." "Enough, man." "We gotta get you out of here." "For what?" "I told you." "I have nothing." "What are you talking about?" "You got us." "You got Nicole and you got me." "You do." "And me." "Look, you need a place to live?" "Come live with me and my mom." " Really?" " Yeah." "She'll ask you to zip her up a lot, but just look away and power through." "I don't-- I don't know." "Time's up." "You guys come out or we're coming in." "Scotty, come on." "Now!" "Richie, just don't be crazy." "Richie, this is real, man." "These guys, they're not mess" "What?" "It is clearly a triumph of the human condition." "Tragedy was averted, love winning out." "Who imag-- Ow!" "For those who wondered what became of the bee another mystery solved." "As I am allergic to it, I will need to go to the hospital." "This is Holly Ellenbogen, beginning to swell." "News 9."