"THE PRIEST" "NATIONAL REFERENDUM YES TO FRANCO" " Good morning, Father Miguel." " Good morning, Vicente." "Have they told you what Father Luis said during yesterday's homily?" "Yes." "Sometimes, Father Luis forgets that the altar... is a place from which to spread the word of God, not his own personal opinions." "Imagine!" "Saying those things the day before the referendum!" "One of these days, they'll fine him like they did the parson of St. Gil." "In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit." "May the grace of our Lord Jesus and the love of our father be with you." "And with your spirit." "Before proceeding with the celebration, let us acknowledge our sins." "Behave yourself." "The body of Christ." "The body of Christ." "The body of..." "The body of Christ." "The body of Christ." "What happened to you this morning during communion?" "Nothing." "The behavior of a minister of the Lord must always be above reproach." "Otherwise, what would our parishioners think of us?" "I was nervous..." "There's no excuse for a priest to drop a wafer to the ground." "Especially when done through an oversight." "Don't you agree?" "Don't you have anything to say?" "Yes." "You know the reason for my behavior." "We've spoken about it before." "But, son, you still haven't put an end to that problem?" "No, Father..." "I can't." "It just keeps getting worse." "The church is filled with temptation." "They come to me to confess and I..." "Silence!" "This is the third time I tell you, you have to be strong!" "I can't." "You must try by all means, my son." "Take me, for example." "If something should tempt me..." "I immediately reject it." "I go for a walk, take my mind of things." "I dine at some Christian couple's home." "Fill my belly!" "In any case, my only sin is gluttony... which is certainly more innocent... and definitely much more chaste." "I know." "It's just that eating is not enough for me." "Let's see what that rabble has to say about us now." "Didn't they want us to vote?" "Well, here are the results." "99% percent of the voters said "yes" to Franco." "What will they accuse us of now?" "His success was greater than the one obtained by DeGaulle in France... even though they call themselves Democrats." " Hi, Comrades." " Comrades?" "What kind of greeting is that, Father Luis?" "My apologies, Father Alfonso." "It's just that I wrote this... and I like to know what you think." "Go ahead and read it, son." ""When that boy grows from a child into an adult..." ""surrounded by children and adults..." ""whose family backgrounds differ from his own..." ""he idealizes the image of the father he never knew." ""This is a trauma capable of causing different types of reactions." ""For example, the irrational assimilation of the concept of God."" "The essence of my book is summarized in this paragraph." "Forgive me, but I don't remember what your book is about." "Unwed mothers." "What can a priest possibly have to say about unwed mothers?" "What anyone else would say." "They are shunned by society and their children become maladjusted." "Oh, yes?" "Are you the child of an unwed woman?" "No, I'm not." "But you don't need to be a Judge's son either to have a sense of justice... or of an idiot to talk nonsense." "Let's not stray from the subject." "I'm also intrigued by that book, Luis." "What is it you're trying to prove?" "I'm not trying to prove anything." "I propose a very simple thesis:" "Some children from unwed mothers... have shown a zeal for spiritual self-improvement far above the norm." "What do you base this on?" "In those cases where the child doesn't know of his father's personality... or at least knows that it's not the man married to his mother." "Leonardo da Vinci, for example." "I heard about that." "Also, that the Gioconda's smile... was that of his mother, repudiated for being an adulteress." "And there are other examples." "Such as?" "Well..." "The case of Moses and..." "Jesus Christ." "Father Luis!" "How can you talk such nonsense?" "That's not nonsense, that's blasphemy!" "Not from a historical or scientific point of view." "You're a priest!" "A Catholic priest!" "How can you say that and call yourself a priest?" "What I say doesn't matter." "Faith shouldn't exclude science, it should complement it." " Shut up!" " Take it easy, Miguel!" "How is it possible, my child, that a lady such as yourself... should go to such extremes?" "I know, Father... but it's my husband." "Not even your husband has the right to strip you of your dignity!" "A decent, Christian woman should know how to say no to her husband!" " My marital duties..." " We're not talking marital duties here!" "This is unnatural!" "Forgive me but... your husband's attitude says very little about his manhood." "Only sodomites and homosexuals engage in acts such as these!" "No, Father... he's not like that." "We do it that way because we don't want... better yet, we can't have any more children." "But you're a Catholic!" "That's precisely the point." "Some of my friends suggested I take one of those pills... but I'm not capable of such a thing." "That's as bad as an abortion." "Of course!" "But what you're doing is just as bad!" "Then... what do you suggest, Father?" "Have as many children as God wants!" "If you don't want to have any, then you must abstain!" "To be lawful... marriage must meet a certain condition, my child." "It is your inescapable duty to procreate, to be fruitful." "The rest is plain lust!" "And allow me to add that... by satisfying your husband's sexual urges... you're behaving like a prostitute and not a Christian wife!" "A CARESS FOR YOUR SKIN" "Dear brothers..." "before I bless this union..." "I want to add a few words." "When celebrating the sacrament of matrimony... remember your moral obligation within the Christian community." "Christ established this sacrament in the nuptials of Cana." "Before that, God our Father had mandated it as such... when he said, "Be truthful and multiply."" ""Be truthful and multiply."" "That is the divine judgment... upon which everything is based... since the beginning of time." "Do you think he's sick?" "In that case, we find another priest." "We're not leaving until they're married, understood?" "Have a seat." "It's been a long time, Alfonso." "True." "The Bishop and I... were friends at the seminary, and look where he is now." "Where the Lord wanted me to be." "You're father Miguel?" "Yes, Bishop." "Well, I know about your problem." "My good friend Alfonso wrote to me about it." "This is not the first time they've come to me with a problem like yours." "How old are you?" "I'll be 36 in June." "A crucial moment." "That is why you must fight like never before... against temptation." "I am tempted, Bishop, by the world that surrounds me." "It is our own parishioners that constantly remind me of temptation." "My constant contact with them weakens my will." "You should've known your strengths." "If this simple contact weakens you... why didn't you become a monk, a Carthusian, a Trappist?" "A life of contemplation is not my calling." "I became a Priest to help others." "A beautiful answer, Father Miguel." "Above all, you have a good heart." "Of course!" "It's just a pity that..." "How many are you at your parish?" "There's seven of us." "I don't imagine you're overburdened with work." "It would be wise to keep father Miguel... away from specific duties." "For example, let him take care of the children's apostolate." "Next month we begin with First Communions." "Very well." "Don't you agree, Father Miguel?" "I believe so." "Besides, there's a lot I can do." "I'm used to dealing with children." "Mornings, I teach at a school." "A few years ago we would have had enough pull to have that..." " removed from our parish." " Good afternoon, Father." "Look at that hair!" "You should visit the barber shop." " You look like a hippie." " Don't be so old fashioned, Father." "What do you think of your new neighbor?" "You're not complaining, are you?" "Silence." "You're becoming a scoundrel." "Instead of taking pictures at weddings and baptisms..." "I'm going to try and start taking pictures like that one." "I'm going to have to have a talk with your father." "They want you to come by the house on Sunday." "They're cooking Fabada." "Believe me, I wouldn't miss it!" "I never doubted that." "I baptize you in the name of the Father... the Son and the Holy spirit." "Let us pray for the newest member of the Church of Jesus Christ." "May the baptismal water upon which the Church was born be free of sin." " Let us pray." " We pray to You." "Pray that all men share in the life that flows from the baptism." "PARISH RESIDENCE" "Father Miguel." "What are you doing here?" "Looking for you." "I wanted to confess." "The Bishop has temporarily exempted me from certain duties." "Including taking my confession?" "For the time being." "I'll only handle the children's spiritual guidance." "Therefore, I can't make an exception with you or anybody else." "I'm so used to you." "Besides, you know about me... you know my problems." "Of course I know your problems." "But they won't go away just because of me!" "What you need, above else, is to make amendments... and to learn to say no... to your husband's abnormal behavior!" "Shouldn't we address this inside the confessional?" "I've already told you no." "Find someone else." "That way you'll have to suffer the shame and mortification... of confessing to someone else." "You're not a good priest." "You have no heart." "The Bishop was right in doing what he did." "Watch what you're saying, ma'am!" "You think you have the right to insult me?" "I never insulted you." "I'm your confessor." "You're no longer my confessor!" "You said so yourself." "You're right." "So there's no reason for us to talk." "Not now or ever again." "Forgive me, Father." "Perhaps I'm a bit nervous." "The truth is I needed to confess... and give vent to my feelings but... if you can't..." "I'm sorry." "I really am." "It's not possible." "But I will pray." "I'll pray that God gives you strength." "That he gives strength to us all." "The beam of light from the projector can be a beam of God... or even a beam of the devil." "Like those disgraceful tours... organized near the French border to view immoral films." "Imagine if there was an accident during the return trip, how many souls would be condemned for merely assisting to such a show?" "It's alarming to read in some papers... about the efforts by some to do away with censorship." "We're done for today." "Next time we'll have a written test on the following subject..." ""The detrimental influence of the media on society's morals."" "That's all for today, boys." " Done with your class?" " Yes, I'm returning to the parish." " I'll go with you." " You'll have to change." "I'll change when I get there." " You're going like this?" " Why not?" "What about you?" "Priests your age don't go around dressed like that." " Manual also dresses like this." " Yeah, but you know Manuel." "I'd never say anything to him or to don Alfonso, but you?" "Maybe I'm not so different from them." "I know you are." "Despite your problem, you're different from them." "Maybe that's why you have problems." "Maybe I just like to wear a cassock." "It's much more elegant than those clergyman clothes you like to wear." " Hey, look at what they did." " Must've been one of those hippies." "We'll have to inform them down at the station." " Are the children ready?" " Yes." "Fathers Carlos and Manual are with them." "I want Father Luis to address them." " I thought I was taking care of them." " Yes, of course." "You're in charge of the communion itself... but Father Luis knows all about the latest updates from The Vatican." "In other parishes, new methods are being used with children." "New methods?" "What new methods?" "We can no longer talk to children about hell and sins." "What then?" "We talk to them about the world around them." "Jesus not only wants you to adore and respect him." "He wants to bring joy to you." "He wants you to be who you are." "He wants you to be free." "Sometimes, when your parents don't want you to do something... they will evoke the name of God." "Bit it's time you understood what you must do in the name of God... and what is expected of you as a member of our society." "I'll give you an example so you understand what I'm saying." "For example, what is blasphemy?" "To offend God with words or thoughts." "But what are those words that really offend God?" "Sometimes you yourselves, but especially your grown-up friends, when they get upset with someone, they'll call him a moron, a fag or a son of a bitch." "I'm telling you now, these words are not a sin." "They shouldn't be said because they might offend... those people they are being said to." "However, if instead you say things like..." "Jesus "fucking" Chris... then that is truly a sin." "No, I'm not trying to offend you." "I've uttered these words, these blasphemies, because we hear them on the street... and there's no reason we can't hear them in church." "God is not only in this altar." "He is everywhere." "He hears and sees everything... yet He doesn't send a bolt of lightning down on whoever says this." "God is not an executioner, my children." "God doesn't issues tickets or put in jail those who insult him." "God created the heavens and the earth because, above all else..." "He is merciful." "These are the new methods?" "This is the renewal of the Church?" "Not even a Communist... would dare say what you said!" "What do you think I should have said?" "Should I just talk to them about hell and punishment?" "Should I say that God is incapable of understanding human frailty?" "What has the Church accomplished after centuries of... threatening people with eternal damnation... other than to keep people away?" "If this is what brings them back, let them go!" "Enough!" "Please..." "I beg you to stop arguing!" "You must assert your authority!" "You can't allow things like that to be said!" "This is intolerable!" "I'm as shocked as you are by what he said to the children." "But I dare not criticize him." "Father Luis is undoubtedly an intelligent, educated man..." " with a theological background..." " That doesn't mean..." "Listen to me, Father Miguel!" "I don't quite understand these changes... that the Church is going through." "All my live I've obeyed my superiors... and never screwed things up." "I don't want the Bishop to say I'm an old-fashioned priest." "Listen to what I'm saying." "The way things are going..." "I wouldn't be surprised it they said Luis was right." "Anyway, I've been invited to dinner by don Esteban." "and I wouldn't want to be late." "That is the tone." "Now, sing with me." "One more time." "One row at a time." "You go first." "Come now, with spiritual absorption." "Come on..." "Come, the girls, too." "That's it." "Let's go." " The Virgin Mary." " Of the Immaculate Conception." "What are your sins, my son?" "I disobeyed my parents." "My mom sent me out to buy salt... and instead I went to play with my friends." "And in school I took someone's pen..." "That is shameful!" "How dare you say such a thing?" "What you need is a psychiatrist!" "I..." "It's the first time..." "You think it's normal for a priest... to get excited looking at an eight your old's legs?" "What are you, a degenerate?" " This is disgusting!" " I'm sorry." "You're sorry?" "You know what?" "You should go to bed with a woman!" "At least that would be normal!" "I don't even know what I'm saying!" "We're both going to end up insane!" "The ceremony is simply wonderful." "Well, you can forget it." "The Vatican is promoting austerity." "In some parishes, children are taking their Communion in street clothes." "That's a shame." "You may sit down." "Before you leave, my dear children..." "I want to remind you that today is the happiest day of your life." "From this day forward, you have joined in Christ's legion... whom you have received for the first time." "I'd like to tell you a story." "A simple, yet beautiful story." "Many years ago, when Spain was in chaos... and Christ's enemies were advancing, one boy, having taken his First Communion and as a promise to his mother.." "put his tie away." "The same tie he wore that very day." "He would wear it to school." "He wore it to the University." "I don't think Luis is going to like this." "But it's beautiful." "And during the time of our glorious national crusade... the boy went to the battlefield and fought valiantly." "But a bullet, fired by the enemy, found his body." "As he lay dying in the Chaplain's arms... the boy reached into his jacket and handed him the tie... so that his mother would know... he had never forgotten that day." "The day... of his First Communion." "Father Miguel." " I'd like you to meet my husband." " Pleased to meet you." " How are you?" " His first Communion." "My son told me he never finished his confession." "I got dizzy and had to leave." "I'm not surprised, Dealing with all these kids." " You'll join us for lunch?" " Lunch?" "Several families have gotten together." "The parson is also coming." "Come on, Paco!" "Sing us a song!" "Come on, man!" "Okay, this was written by Juanito Valderrama." "It's the perfect song for a day like today." "It goes like this." " You're not feeling well?" " No..." "But you look pale." "It's the wine, it didn't agree with me." "Why did you get up so early?" "I couldn't sleep a wink." "Problems?" "I imagine I'm the last person you want to share your problems with." "but if I can be of help." "I've come to see you because..." "I'd like to ask you something." "It's... a very delicate question." "What is the question?" "Have you ever been with a woman?" "That's some question." "Forgive me." "I know I shouldn't have asked you." "That's something that's not correct, not allowed." "It's not that." "What exactly do you mean?" "What do I mean?" "If I ever went to bed with a woman?" "Yes, I have." "I thought so." "How could you do something like that?" "It's the simplest thing in the world." "I'm not proud of it." "I'm well aware that it's wrong for a priest to do that." "But I've done it more than once." "You've never been with a woman?" "Not even before becoming a priest?" "I was 14 when I joined the Seminary." "I always behaved myself accordingly." "You can behave and still have weaknesses." "We're not machines." "Until recently, I didn't know what a weakness was." "Time for mass, Father Luis." "I'm ready, Vicente." "We can continue this conversation later, if you wish." "I'd rather we never bring this up again." "Please forgive me for having asked." "Forget I ever said anything." "Fine." "What brings you here, handsome?" "Treat me to a drink?" " Shall we sit at the bar?" " Let's sit here." "The show's a piece of shit but this is a nice table." "How about some champagne?" "I'd rather have some whiskey." " Bring us a bottle." " Just a shot for me." "Oh, joy." "Two whiskeys." "My name's Vicenta, but everyone calls me Fanny." "What is your name?" "Miguel." "You're very handsome." "Boy, you sure are shy!" "What can I say that won't embarrass you?" "You like her?" "She's very pretty, isn't she?" "I'm in better shape and she's got no tits." "Look at these...." "Water, sir?" " Yes, please." "Bring me another one." "You don't mind, do you?" "I like you." "Don't close your mouth!" "Did you like that?" "You look like a priest." "Don't get so excited!" "Besides, you wouldn't be my first." " Priests come here?" " Not wearing church cloths." "But dressed like this, many." "Don't get upset." "I'm just kidding." "Boy, are you hard!" "And it's big, too!" "What's wrong?" " I'm going to the restroom." " Wait, I'll take care of it at home." "No, I'm going to urinate." "These priests..." "What's wrong with you?" "Father Miguel isn't joining us?" " He's not feeling well." " You can't live without food." "Adelina, take some food up to Father Miguel's room." "Right away, don Alfonso." "Miguel has reached the age where he's questioning his goal in life." "What are you trying to tell us?" "Being a priest is not enough." "Personally, if I didn't have other activities, I'd go insane." " That must be what he's going through." " We both teach." "What's that for a man like Miguel?" "Teaching National Catholicism... a ridiculous subject used by the government!" "An instrument..." "An instrument of what?" "What else?" "The power, the regime!" "You know I don't like to talk about politics!" "Yes, I know." "But what do you think you've been doing all your life?" "Especially when you attend the feasts given by those pious parishioners?" "You shouldn't allow him to treat you like this in front of everyone!" "I appreciate your concern over my authority, Father Manual." "I know how to take care of myself." "I don't need anyone telling me when I'm being insulted!" " I like this one, too." " Here's another one." "Look." "I need to find an activity I enjoy doing." "I thought maybe I could learn photography." "I think it's a beautiful hobby." " I can teach you, if you want." " Really?" "Thanks." "I'd really appreciate that." "I have lots of free time on my hands." "You can stop by the Studio, and I'll tell you... how to work the camera and the developer." "Also, I could bring you some books." "Although theory is pretty useless." "You just have to do it." "What's wrong with him?" " That guy's a little crazy." " Don't say that." "He's nuts and getting worse by the minute!" "He knows me since I was a boy." "Yet lately, he doesn't even say hi." " What did I do to him?" " He's going through a rough time." "Father Miguel... what are we going to do with you?" "I'm beginning to wonder if the Bishop made the right decision." "Perhaps we shouldn't have taken you away from your duties." "Having nothing to do is bad for you." "My mind has room for only one thing now... sex." "Come now, Miguel!" "A few nights ago, I went looking for a prostitute to go to bed with." "What are you saying?" "And that's the normal part of it." "The worse part are those horrible images that follow me everywhere." "For me, sex is not something concrete, it's everywhere." "You were shocked when I told you I got excited looking at the boy." "Now... you'd be even more shocked if I told you..." " the things that excite me." " Enough!" "Your brain is not working!" "Although I'm starting to wonder if perhaps you don't want it to!" "A priest, a man of the truth... knows what the limits are!" "He knows where fantasy ends and reality begins!" "But you have to be willing to fight!" "Not give up like you have!" "You think I've given up?" "That I haven't fought all the way?" "You are weak!" "Just like all sinners!" "Well, you're wrong." "You're always wrong!" "You think someone capable of doing this is weak?" "But..." "How could you commit such an atrocity, son?" "What is it?" "It's not true that the flesh is weak." "Flesh is strong." "When it controls you, the spirit cannot resist it." "It's not true." "It's not true, Father Alfonso." "What is truly weak... is the spirit." " How's the patient?" " Doing very well." "The fever's completely gone." "How are you feeling?" "A lot better." "I'll be on my feet in a few days." "What you need is a good vacation." "That's what I told him." "He should visit his old town." "Do you have any family there?" "Yes, my mother." "Haven't seen her in a while." "Poor thing." "She's always asking me to visit." "I'm too old to take care of the store." "Besides, the town is half empty." "Some moved to Madrid, others to Germany..." "The only ones left are the old people." "You should come to Madrid with me, We could rent an apartment." "Come now Miguel." "What would I do there?" " You wouldn't be as lonely." " That's not important." "My dream has come true." "My son's a priest." "Remember your father?" "He wanted you to take care of the store." "Thought there was a future in it." "It's not my fault you're over-pious!" "My son a priest!" "That's ridiculous." "And who'll manage the store?" "That's his calling." "Don't be selfish." "His calling!" "You've convinced him of that!" "You're the selfish one here!" "That's..." "I don't want him to rot in this town." "You'd rather he rot inside a church surrounded by candles?" "Is that what you want?" "Turn that off, Miguelin." "Is it broken?" "It broke a long time ago." "Why don't you buy yourself a TV?" "Why would I want one of those?" "What I need is for you to visit me more often." "It's just that we're very busy at the parish." "I know, son." "I'll bring you dessert." "I prepared your favorite, cream custard." "Hey, guys, I found one!" "I'll leave this here." "I really don't feel like it, Mother." "Just leave it there." "Maybe you get thirsty during the night." "Thanks." " Go to bed, it's late." " See you tomorrow, God willing." "Sleep well." "Your light was on till very late last night." "What happened, you couldn't fall asleep?" "No, I just read a lot." "Go to sleep." "You always have trouble to get up." "I'll fall asleep immediately." "You should try to sleep." "You've come here to rest." "To you, that child can do no wrong!" "I know what he did was wrong." "Talk to him tomorrow." "Talk?" "The store was packed and the fucking kid didn't show up!" " What do you think?" " You're right but let him sleep." "I'll let him sleep alright!" "But not before he gets it!" "What I'm gonna do?" "You'll see!" "You've heard, haven't you?" "Hey, Miguel's got a huge dick!" " Yeah, but mine's bigger." " Not fair!" "You're older!" " Let's have a contest?" " Of what?" " To see whose is the biggest." " No, you'll beat us all." "All right, I'll be the judge." "You don't even have hair!" "It's okay." "Not bad, Juan." "Now that's what I call small!" "Not bad a all." "Damn!" "Yours is the biggest." "That's some dick." "Do you masturbate a lot?" "They say if you masturbate, it grows a lot." "No, I'm next!" "You'll have him back in 3 months for the holidays, Teresa." "Write to me as soon as you arrive." "And let me know if they're not feeding you well." "The bus is waiting for us." "Don't forget to write..." "and behave yourself." "Write use soon, Miguel." "And please, Miguel... try and visit me more often." "I know you're very busy at the parish... but remember every so often... that I'm all alone." "I'll come see you as soon as I can." "Take care, son." "Take care." "Father Miguel, how long has it been?" "I just got back from a trip." "Excellent." "You've come to order another cassock?" "No, I would like to order a clergyman suit." "Perfect." "We've just received top quality fabrics." "The "Rerum Novarum" encyclical stated the Church's concern... with social problems of the times." "It coincided with a moment in history where all social concerns... were in the hands of atheists." " How are you?" " It's wonderful to feel normal again." "I told you that's what you needed." "Did you exercise a lot?" "Not really." "I spent my time walking, thinking and remembering." "Well, you look wonderful." "New clothes, a happy face..." "Memories are sometimes the best therapy." "Let's go to the parish." "The body of Christ." "The body of Christ." "It says here that Che Guevara was killed by his own people..." " under orders from Fidel Castro." " I heard the Americans did it." "Americans, Jews, Communists, they're all the same thing." "Have you seen the latest fashion?" "And it's really comfortable too!" "Where did you get that?" "They just brought it in this morning." " Has father Alfonso seen it?" " He seemed to like it." "And what about the chasuble?" "The alb and the chasuble are one piece." "The chasuble reminds us of our Lord's suffering." " It's wrong to do away with it." " I like it, and you?" " Well, I don't know." " I think we should buy it." " Our clothes are too old fashioned." " I won't wear that." " I will." " You'll wear anything that's new." "Luis convinced you that if we don't evolve, the Church will die." "If we continue, the Church will no longer be the Church." "My mom sends you a message, Father Miguel." "She's very ill and needs to see you immediately." "Okay." " It looks beautiful." " And I'm not done yet." "But I have to wait till my father returns to put the lights." "Good afternoon, Father Miguel." "Thanks for coming," "You shouldn't be out of bed." "How are you feeling?" "A lot better." "Grandma is waiting for you, Pedrito." "I don't want to go!" "I want to finish the Nativity." "If you don't behave, the Three Wise Men will only bring you coal." "Great, I have to deal with Grandma all afternoon." "Have a seat." "I was worried." "From what the boy said, I thought you were really sick." " Would you like a drink?" " No, thank you." "I don't drink." "I'm really not feeling well." "But it's not physical." "What do you mean?" "You still can't take my confession?" "It's not that I can't." "I'm fulfilling all my pastoral duties." "But after all this time, you've probably found someone else." "It's better you continue with him." "It was my new spiritual guide that suggested I speak with you." "I still don't understand." "During these last few months, I've been confessing to Father Luis." "I explained everything to him and he suggested I spoke with you." "I need to confess myself to you." "Right." "If you feel up to it, come by the parish tomorrow... and I'll be there." "You still don't understand." "I don't want to talk to you in a confessional." "It's not that kind of confession." "What then?" "It's something that affects me... in relationship to you." "My communions have been sacrilegious... because when I confessed, there was a sin..." " that I never mentioned." " Sacrilegious communions you say?" "What were you hiding?" "The fact that I... am in love with you." "Excuse me." "It's snowing and I don't want to go to Grandma's house." "Good afternoon." " What will it be?" " Coffee with cream." "That priest is looking at us." " Hi Miguel." " What a surprise." "I'm having a drink with Mari Carmen." "I'll introduce you." " A family member?" " No, a friend." "A friend?" "Yes, we've been seeing each other for months." "What are you saying?" "Exactly what you're thinking." "It's simple... she loves me and I love her." "I want you to meet her." "No!" "How much do I owe you?" "Ten pesetas." "I gotta go." "We'll talk about this later." " Who was that?" " That friend I told you about?" " Which one?" " The one with major problems." "Yes?" "Father Miguel... what a surprise." "I was hoping you would call." "All right." "Yes, we should find a quiet place." "Do you realize what this means?" "You're married and I'm a priest." "You can't fight against certain feelings." "And you husband, doesn't he mean anything to you?" "The last thing I expected from you was to defend my husband." "After all you've said about him during confession." "I'm not trying to defend him." "I still think he's a degenerate, but he is your husband." "He doesn't love me anymore." "You know why he did those things?" "Yes, he didn't want to have children." "That's only part of it." "He was tired of being with me." "Tired of making love." "He searched for new ways to satisfy his needs." "He was concerned with his needs, not with mine." "He's going to bed with another woman." "With one of my best friends." "But I don't care anymore." "You could say I'm relieved." "But you're a Catholic woman." "How can you say that?" "Because it's my intention to cheat on him." "Have you lost your morals?" "Have you no faith?" "No..." "I still believe in God." "But I need something else in my life." "I need to love someone, and that someone to love me." "There's your son, what about him?" "I'm not forgetting my son." "I love him dearly." "But do you think... that a woman is content with simply being a mother?" "Don't you need someone who loves you?" "Don't you ever long for someone... to share your feelings, your worries, your life?" "No..." "I have the Church." "And above all, I have God's love." "I knew you were going to say that." "But I know it's a lie." "Christmas Lottery!" "Buy your lucky ticket!" "Where were you?" "You're late." "Give us a hand." "We've only three days till Christmas." "What do you think?" "I just bought it." "The other one was too old." " It's too classic." " It's okay." "It matches the others." "Would you hold it for me?" "I'm going to the sacristy." "It looks delicious!" " Want me to help you carve it?" " You stay put." "Relax." "It's Christmas Eve... and you are dining with us." "You're not moving a muscle." "That's right, Adelina." "You're dining with us." "Lord..." "I've tried everything." "You know I didn't give up easily... but now it's different." "I'm no longer fighting ghosts, I'm fighting reality." "She's no hallucination, she's made of flesh and blood." "Hallucinations can disappear... but she won't." "Eventually, I'll commit sacrilege and adultery again." "As long as sex controls me, there's nothing I can do." "That is why I must defeat sex once and for all." "I'm determined to win this battle no matter the cost." "I will not allow her to become an adulteress, nor I a sinner." "So I must sacrifice the flesh so that the spirit may prevail..." "I'm willing to do it." " Is it almost over?" " Yes, the people are coming out." "Merry Christmas." "Tell the parson we'd love to have him over tomorrow for a drink." "I'll tell him." "Merry Christmas." " Where's Miguel?" " I saw him leave during mass." "He didn't look right." "He hasn't been the same since he dropped the figure." "I think he's had a relapse." "The look in his face... left me feeling uneasy." "He seemed to be hallucinating." "Let's go to his room." "Are you there, Miguel?" "Are you there, Miguel?" "It's locked from the inside." "Miguel!" "We want to know if you're okay." "Can you hear us?" "Maybe he fell asleep." "Something's wrong." "We must open this door." "My colleagues' report is very comforting." "He's recuperating slowly but steadily." "The wound is healing." "The artificial system to drain urine is working well." "Bottom line is, in a few weeks he'll be able to rejoin society." "What I don't understand is why he was sent here, to a psychiatric ward." "After everything that happened, Doctor..." "Father Miguel is incapable of resuming his daily duties." "The diocese had to get involved... despite our efforts to keep things under wraps." "Father!" "Father, absolve me!" "I've committed a horrible sin!" "Not again!" "Last week I absolved you of raping Sarita Montiel!" "Oh, no... this is much... much worse!" "I've murdered." "I killed Generalissimo Franco and his wife, Carmen." "It was a horrible crime, Father!" "I've committed a horrible crime!" "I've killed the great leader!" "The savior of our country!" "Absolve me, Father!" "Please!" "Please absolve me!" "I'll accept whatever punishment you see fit!" "My pilgrimage will take me to Satriago!" "I swear to you!" "I'll go to Rome!" "To the Holy Land!" "I'll join the Civil Guard!" "But absolve me!" "You can't refuse me!" "You must absolve me!" "Please!" "Father, you have to absolve me!" "Father!" "They're waiting for you." "Yes, I'm getting married in 15 days." "Was it that easy for you?" "Not really, but I was decided to do it." "I was determined to leave the Church." "Besides, we're having a baby." "Don't you think that's a big step?" "I believe this is only the first step." "The first step?" "And what is the final step?" "Doing something as horrible as what you did." "Forgive me." "I'm not here to reproach you." "Don't worry." "I've already taken care of that." "Living surrounded by insane people... can give you a clearer view on things." "We spend our lives seeing woman as an object of desire... and sex as an enemy, instead of seeing them as something natural." "Sometimes it's so easy to reason... and sometimes it's impossible." "I think I was crazy when I did that." "But now you're not." "You have to leave this place at once." "You'll come to my wedding." "I'd love to, but..." "They won't let you out?" "The Director said I can leave whenever I want." "This is not a prison." "It's my decision." "What are you waiting for?" "You have to get on with your life." "My life." "What can I do with my life?" "Look!" " Miguel!" "What a surprise!" " How are you?" " Fine, and you?" " Longing to see you!" " Have you seen Father Alfonso?" " Not yet." " Have a seat." " Don't treat him like he's visiting." "This is his home." "No... it's just that I think he's probably tired." "Yes, I'm tired." "Very tired." "Although... all I've been doing these last months is resting." "Good man!" "How do you feel?" "I guess I'm fine." " How are you doing?" " A lot has happened." " I heard about Angel." " There's more." " Luis and Manuel have left." " Don't tell me they're getting married." "I can't imagine Manuel married." "Manuel took a job with a religious publication called "Hispanic Cross."" " Where did Luis go?" " To the ghetto down in Orcasitas." "He's founded a parish there." "Although it doesn't look like one." "They say he holds subversive meetings there every day." "It seems like in this parish, except for you two... and don Alfonso, the rest of us turned out to be pretty special." "You should hear what they say about other parishes." "What about you?" "Will you stay with us?" "I don't know." "I must talk to don Alfonso." "Believe me, it hurts me not to be able to have you with us." "Despite everything that's happened, I'm truly sorry." "As you know, Father Angel... has left the priesthood to get married." "Father Luis and Father Manuel both left... each one down different paths." "All I have left is Father Alberto and his music... and Father Carlos and his innocence." "One of these days they'll leave, too." "I'll be left alone, sad and old." "But what really worries me is that the loneliness... the sadness and the old age... are not just my problems." "They affect the Church itself." "I never took you for a pessimist." "Maybe... but not all the time." "Sometimes I read the letter Father Luis wrote to me... and I feel better." "What does it say?" "Listen." "I'll just read you the ending." ""...and that is why I've made this decision, don Alfonso." ""I believe that God's word is directed to mankind." ""I am convinced that salvation has to begin here..." ""now... in this world..." ""in this life."" "Look at me!" "I've spent my life worrying about food... and now I read this and look at me." "It moves me." "That's what I say to you... not everything is pessimism." "We separated a few months ago." "It was the right thing to do." "He's living with that woman I told you about." "Every month, he sends money for me and the boy." "Are you happier since you separated?" "Yes." "I met another man." "I have sex with him." "Why the face?" "Are you going to talk to me about morality?" "No, it's not that." "Ever since that afternoon we were together..." "I never stopped waiting for you." "I was sure that you'd come back." "Every time the phone rang, my heart pounded." "But you never called that day, or the next." "Then I heard rumors that... that you were in an asylum." "That you had tried to commit suicide." "I felt responsible." "No, Irene... you're not to blame." "I haven't gone to church in months." "Even though I still believe in God." "Well..." "I don't." "Don't think I'm the only one." "Many priests, when they reach a certain age... once they mature... they realize they don't believe in God." "Some even dare to leave the Church." "Some do like Father Luis, they don't leave... but instead of believing in God, they start believing in mankind." "Others, like Father Manuel, make people believe by force, if necessary." "And you?" "Where do you fit in?" "Nowhere." "I still love you." "There's still time." " Not anymore." " Why not?" "You don't have to worry anymore." "There's nothing stopping you now." "And I love you." "Too late." "It's too late for me." "But not for you." "You can still make it." "It's hard to be free in this country.... but you have to try." "Above else, find your freedom." "And please, forget about me." "It's so hard to pray when you have no faith." "But I want to do it one last time... and celebrate my last mass." "What are you doing there, crucified all these centuries?" "What good is it?" "Who benefits from your sacrifice... your pain and your suffering?" "Why?" "For what?" "They always display you grimacing in pain." "Your crown of thorns, nails in your hands and feet... yet they cover your genitals." "Perhaps the same thing has happened to you." "You've also been castrated by the Church." "Timings and editing by Subransu"