"MARY ALICE:" "Previously on Desperate Housewives." "Keith moved in with Bree." "Susan came to grips with her future." "Dialysis." "Till they find me a donor." "Well, that won't take very long, will it?" "Three to five years." "In grief over losing her biological daughter..." "Grace no longer exists." "And that is the last time you will mention her name in this house." "MARY ALICE: ..." "Gabby sought comfort from an unusual source." "And there were some surprises." "Somebody lose a gun?" "Including a long lost son..." "You didn't mention your mother-in-law." "My mother-in-law?" "... and a shocking revelation for Paul." "Felicia Tillman has gone to some extraordinary lengths to cause you harm." "Paul Young had made a discovery." "His wife was a liar." "She had lied with every smile, with every caress," "and with every kiss." "Yes, Paul now knew their entire marriage was a fraud." "The only thing he didn't know..." "Hey, there." "... was how he would punish her." "You're packing?" "I thought you werert coming home until tomorrow." "I talked the doctor into letting me out early." "(SIGHING) I'm glad." "I really need you right now." "Things on the street have been getting very strange." "Beth, things on that street have always been very strange." "Well, yes, but..." "Remember I told you how Bree was inviting me over for drinks with the other women?" "And I told you not to go." "Well, I should've listened." "Turns out they're trying to frame me." "Frame you?" "While I was there, I found a gun under my sofa cushion." "It was a.38." "The same caliber the police said you were shot with." "They must have planted it there." "And the gun just magically appeared?" "Yes!" "I'm sure Bree's going to turn it over to the police, and they're going to think I shot you." "Beth." "You don't have to worry about what anyone else thinks." "I know the truth." "Hey, here's an idea." "Why don't we take a trip?" "A trip?" "We need to get away." "We'll go somewhere secluded." "(SIGHING) Oh!" "That sounds like heaven." "MARY ALICE:" "Yes, Paul had no choice but to punish his wife." "I love you." "Because some lies are unforgivable." "We are reminded every spring." "With every rose that blooms, with every sunflower that blossoms," "with every lily that buds." "The world is a beautiful place." "Sadly, it is filled with people who do ugly things" "constantly." "That woman who just drove away, who was she?" "A friend." "You're friends with Barbara Fairchild?" "The interior designer?" "Bob?" "Or should I say the inferior designer?" "Hey, Renee." "How could you hire Barbara Fairchild when you know I just started my own interior design firm?" "We're not hiring her." "Oh?" "Why are you holding swatches?" "And people think you're the smart one." "Look, you know we just adopted a little girl?" "Well, we hired Barbara to decorate her room." "Why not hire me?" "You're not exactly maternal." "We wanted this room to be pink and nurturing, and your style seems more like chrome and glass and teeth." "Look who's back to being the smart one." "Look, Fairchild's a hack." "Whatever she quoted you," "I'll come in two days earlier and 20% cheaper." "Barbara is kind of expensive." "Done." "I'll get started right away." "Just so you know, our daughter gets here in a week." "And just so you know, I'm as maternal as the next woman." "Gabby." "Hi, honey." "You want some lunch?" "No, I want an explanation." "I just got our credit card bill." "$840 at Miss Charlotte's Doll Academy?" "Did I say lunch?" "I meant sex." "Do you want some sex?" "Why are you buying our kids fancy toys?" "Last week Juanita used her doll's leg to scrape peanut butter out of the jar." "The doll wasrt for Juanita." "It's for Bob and Lee." "For the little girl they're adopting." "You spent $800 on a gift?" "It made me feel good, okay?" "For the first time in weeks, I'm not staying in bed till 2:00 in the afternoon." "Or staying up all night sobbing." "So I went a little crazy on the credit card, just let me be happy." "But $800?" "Carlos, if you get this worked up now, you'll have no place to go when the bill for the platinum card comes in." "(SIGHING)" "Excuse me?" "Hi." "I'm looking for Keith Watson." "His roommate told me he moved here." "Yes, but he's not available at the moment." "Can I give him a message, Miss..." "Sorry." "I'm Amber James." "I just need to talk to him about something." "It's kind of important." "Well, I would be happy to tell him what it's regarding, if you tell me what it's regarding." "We're just old friends." "I'm at the Fairview Motor Inn." "Could you ask him to come by?" "Why exactly would he be doing that?" "(LAUGHS IN SURPRISE)" "You're kind of a nosy landlady, aren't you?" "I'm not his landlady." "I'm his girlfriend." "So, he lives here with you?" "Yes." "Yeah, of course he does." "Of course he does." "Are you all right?" "Yeah, I'm fine." "You know what?" "Don't even tell him I came by." "There's no message." "Sorry to disturb you." "Okay, you're all set." "The dialysis will take six hours." "If you need anything, just hit the call button." "Will do." "(SUSAN SIGHS)" "Hi." "Hi." "I'm Susan." "It's my first time in here." "Dick." "Sounds like you've been coming here for a while." "Four years." "Any tips for a newbie?" "Like which nurse has the shakes, or where do they hide the good painkillers?" "Look, nothing personal, but I don't want to be your dialysis buddy." "I want to sit here and play Scrabble on my phone while this machine washes my blood." "So you don't want to talk or be friendly or keep each other company?" "Sad, isn't it?" "You know, Dick, sometimes when I meet people, they say," ""You don't seem like a Susan."" "But you..." "Why are you putting out those ugly candlesticks?" "(GRUNTS)" "Who gave them to me?" " Yay!" "Grandma's coming!" " Yep." "And your brother just pulled up with her." "This could be your last chance to run screaming from the room." "Why?" "I love Grandma." "I do, too, sweetie." "It's just, I can only take her in small doses." "And unfortunately, your grandma doesn't come in small doses." "Hey, easy over the threshold, you're not transporting meat!" "Okay, Grandma, enjoy your visit." "She's going back in a cab." "Mom, hi!" "Oh!" "Oh, my gosh, what happened to your foot?" "Oh." "I broke it." "A month ago." "Thanks for checking in." "Oh!" "I'm sorry." "We've just been so busy and..." "Penny, look, your grandma's here." "Give her a kiss." "Look at you, you're getting buds." "(LYNETTE EX CLAIMING)" "Be thankful she didn't yell it to you as you were getting on the bus." "So, what's new?" "Well, actually, I started an interior design business." "Do you remember my friend Renee?" "I'm getting married." "What?" "Married?" "To who?" "Frank Kaminski." "We met in water aerobics at the retirement community." "Only man in the pool." "I was lucky to get him." "This is kind of a shock." "I didn't even know you were dating." "So, whers the wedding?" "Saturday." "This Saturday?" "And you're just telling me now?" "Well, maybe if you visited" " more often..." " More often." "I know, I know." "So, (SIGHING) do I get to meet him?" "I mean, if you're going to make this kind of commitment..." "What, you want to make sure his intentions are honorable?" "Lynette, I hate to break this to you." "I am not a virgin." "Mom," "I want to meet him." "All right, come by tomorrow, and we'll squeeze you in between "nothing to do" and "waiting for death."" "(GROANS)" " Are you all right?" " What?" "You were yelling in your sleep." "Really?" "Yes." "You were shouting out, "Amber, Amber!"" "What could that mean?" "(SIGHS) Well, I'm doing a painting job." "And I've been thinking about shades of yellow that go in the kitchen." "Nope, definitely not a color." "Sounded like a name." "Amber." "Know anyone by that name?" "I once had a girlfriend named Amber." "Did you?" "And at this time, I'd like to point out that dreaming of an old girlfriend is not cheating." "Well, when was this?" "You never told me about her." "(SIGHS HEAVILY)" "I don't know, seven years ago." "Seven years?" "Was it serious?" "We lived together for three years." "So you were in love with her." "Well, yeah." "Until she left me." "So she left you." "You miss her?" "I tend not to dwell on people who stomped on my heart." "Now, if you don't mind, I'm gonna go back to sleep so I can dream about you." "It's so great visiting a retirement village." "Two regular parking spaces, 48 handicapped." "Hey, Mom." "Lynette, this is Frank." "It is so nice to meet you, Frank." "Call me Dad." "(LAUGHS) Wouldrt it be awful if I was that guy?" "Oh!" "(LAUGHS)" "So, Frank." "I've just been dying to meet you and..." "Just a sec." "Hey, muchacho!" "We've been waiting 10 minutes for our menu." "What do I gotta do to get you to hurry it over?" "Build a fence?" "Hey, it's a menu, not a high school diploma." "I'm sure you can find one somewhere." "Oh, yeah." "You were saying something?" "Lynette's been dying to meet you." "She has so many questions." "Oh." "Go ahead." "I got time to kill while I'm waiting for Pancho Villa to get my menu." "Okay." "I was just wondering, what made you decide to propose to my mother?" "I love her." "What do you think?" "Oh..." "What a short, angry story." "Frank is very to the point." "That's what first attracted me to him." "What else do you need to know?" "Have you ever been married before?" "Three times." "Two dead, and two left me." "Wait a minute, that's four." "Yeah." "Make it four." "Now, you done grilling me?" "Yes." "I think I've learned everything I need to know." "(KNOCKING ON DOOR)" " Hi, Gabby." " Hey, Karen." "I wanted to get the name of that Chinese place you and Roy are always raving about." "Come on in, I'll get you the address." "Carlos is a little grumpy since the credit card bills came in." "I figured a little MSG should calm him down." "I've got a menu here somewhere." "I've never noticed that before." "What?" "That doll." "Oh, Adelaide." "Heck, I've had her since forever." "She was my best friend growing up." "I couldn't bear to toss her, so there she is." "I didn't know you were into dolls." "Well, I'm not really into them." "Oh!" "Here's the menu." "Where did that come from?" "I carry her around with me." "You do?" "Her name's Princess Valerie." "Oh!" "Look, they could be sisters." "Okay... (GASPS) I have an idea." "Miss Charlotte's Doll Academy, where I got Valerie, has this tea room." "It's beautiful." "All of us should go sometime." "By all of us, you mean the dolls?" "Of course." "Should I make a reservation?" "Well, maybe." "I'm kind of curious to see where this all goes." "Here." "Oh, no." "What's wrong?" "I said "no mayo," like, 15 times." "I'll trade with you." "Do you want my salad?" "Let me check." "Nope." "Still got a penis." "I want my hamburger the way I ordered it." "I'll get you a new one." "I've got tee time in 10 minutes." "So go." "It'll be waiting for you at the condo, wrapped in foil, with an ice cold beer when you get there." "(LAUGHS)" "You're so good to me." "See you at the wedding, Lorraine." "So?" "What do you think?" "Well, he is quite a..." "I wouldn't even know where to..." "Okay, he's gone." "How can you marry that jerk?" " Lynette..." " I mean it." "He's abrasive, obnoxious, borderline racist..." "No, he crossed the border of racist." "He lives in racist." "You cannot seriously love him." "I don't." "You..." "You don't?" "Then why are you marrying him?" "Because he's loaded, and he hates his kids, and he's got a bad ticker." "And when he kicks the bucket, I get everything." "You're marrying him for his money?" "Please." "I married for love three times and ended up broken-hearted and piss-poor." "And, by the way, he's getting something out of this, too." "You want to know how I really broke my foot?" "Paul?" "What are you doing up?" "Is everything all right?" "Couldrt sleep." "I've just been sitting here thinking." "About what?" "I have so much hatred inside me." "For my neighbors who betrayed me." "For my son who disowned me." "For whoever tried to kill me." "I'm tired of hating people." "But I don't know how to stop." "What a thing to say." "Stop being so hard on yourself." "You're a decent man." "You just need to focus on what's good in your life." "What is that again?" "Well, for starters, me." "I do think about you." "All the time." "From the first moment I met you, all I wanted was for you to love me." "And here we are." "Here we are." "You're just tired." "Come back to bed." "All right." "Tomorrow we can talk about our trip." "We need to decide where we're going." "Yes, about that..." "I booked us a cabin in the woods." "A cabin?" "Well, that sounds rustic." "I need to go somewhere far away, where nobody can find us." "Okay." "You can be happy, Paul." "You just need to identify what's negative in your life and then get rid of it." "That sounds like a plan." "(KNOCKING)" "Hey, Karen." "Gabby's in the kitchen." "Actually, I want to talk to you about Gabby." "How's she doing lately?" "Well, you know, we went through kind of a rough patch." "But I think she's coming around now." "Yeah?" "Well, think again." "Girls, dinner's ready." "I made your favorite..." "What are you doing here?" " Gabby..." " (EX CLAIMING)" "Jeez, you scared me!" "This wasrt a gift for Bob and Lee, was it?" "Why did you lie to me?" "Because I knew you wouldn't understand." "You spent $800 on a doll for yourself." "You're right, I don't understand." "Please." "Like this is any crazier than your collections." "A steroid freak hits a baseball over a fence and you pay thousands of dollars for it." "Yeah, well, I don't carry it around with me or take it to tea." "Okay, first of all, Mrs. McCluskey has a big mouth." "Second, the doll makes me happy." "What do you care?" "Gabby, I want you to be happy." "But this is not about a doll." "You know what?" "I don't want to talk about this anymore." "This is clearly about Grace." "(ANGRILY) No!" "No!" "We're not supposed to talk about her." "That was your rule." "(GABRIELLE SIGHING)" "I'm going to get ready for dinner." "Hey, Susan." "I kept her warm for you." "Thanks, Ethan." "Hey, how was your history final?" "Aced it." "Thank you for studying with me." "No problem." "I'll see you Thursday." "Yeah." "(CLEARING THROAT)" "Scrabble." "Look, I know you don't want to talk." "But I thought it would be more fun to play with me than with your phone." "Thanks, but I'll take the phone." "You know, this whole experience is miserable and isolating enough." "I don't understand why you want to make it worse by ignoring someone who's going through the same ordeal." "Susan, did you ever see the old war movie where the fresh, young kid comes in all bright-eyed and the old vet won't give him the time of day?" "I hate war movies." "Okay." "What about the one where the girl moves to a different town and the mean cheerleader at her new school doesn't want to hang out with her?" "Go on." "I'm the mean cheerleader, okay?" "And I'm letting you know we're not going to be friends." "You know, I can see why you're frustrated." "Waiting for a transplant is brutal." "I get that." "But that doesn't mean that you can't try to stay positive while you wait for the good news." "The good news?" "When this beeper goes off that means someone died." "That's what we're waiting for." "For some poor son of a bitch who didn't use a helmet or seatbelt to die." "We're waiting for a doctor to ask a family who moments earlier lost someone they loved to let them harvest their organs." "And then, we're waiting to see who gets them." "That's what we do." "We wait for tragedy and then cross our fingers that it's us they wake up at 2:00 in the morning with the good news." "Susan," "I know your intentions are good, but you don't have to distract me, or entertain me, or comfort me." "I wasrt trying to comfort you." "Hi, Amber." "What are you doing here?" "Well, you seemed so upset when you came over and obviously it involves Keith or you wouldn't have come looking for him." "So, naturally, I'm concerned." "Everything's fine." "It's not a big deal." "Anyway, I'm sort of in the middle of packing, so..." "Mommy, I can't find my ball." "Charlie, I'll be with you in a second, okay?" "How old is Charlie?" "Six." "Keith and I would be great for a while, and then not so great." "I had actually moved out before I realized I was pregnant." "So why didn't you tell Keith?" "(SIGHS)" "I had actually decided to give up the baby, and I knew he would try and talk me out of it." "Then I changed my mind the moment I saw Charlie." "After that, it just never felt right to come back and ambush him with a kid." "And yet, here you are, ambushing." "It's just, Charlie is at that age where he's starting to ask a lot of questions and I'm running out of ways to be vague." "So, Charlie is the only reason you came?" "Okay, maybe I was kind of wondering if Keith would still be..." "But I'm glad he's happy." "You seem really great." "I know I owe it to Charlie to tell Keith, it's just..." "I don't think I can do it." "Would you like me to?" "You would do that?" "(EXHALING) I think I have to." "Now, it's not exactly finished yet." "I'm still waiting on a few pieces and the curtains are on back-order." "Don't worry." "I'm sure it's amazing." "But you did keep the receipts, right?" "Oh, my God." "It's exactly the room I wanted when I was growing up." "The only thing that's missing is..." "(GASPING) Baby unicorns!" "So, you like it?" "We love it." "Thank you, Renee." "It's everything we'd hoped for." "How did you put this together so quickly?" "Oh!" "It was easy." "I've been thinking about this room for 20 years." "Really?" "There was a time when I thought I might have kids." "I used to imagine the kind of room I'd want my daughter to have." "Right down to the last detail." "I never knew you'd thought about kids." "Well, that was a long time ago." "It's never too late." "Heck, if we can adopt..." "Excuse me." "I've got to find that painter." "This is not the color we agreed on for the trim." "I can't do it." "I can't be a party to this." "I can't wheel her down the aisle to marry some jackass she doesn't even love." "Lynette, you have to do this." "Besides, think of what's at stake now." "What are you talking about?" "How can I put this delicately?" "Today, your mother has money." "Someday, soon, she'll die." "The day after that, Tom and Lynette have money." "That's a horrible thing to say." "I'm just saying you've always wanted to put Paige in private school, and I've always wanted to know what it's like to sleep on a yacht." "You're lucky you're holding the baby." "Lynette, in all seriousness, it's your mother's wedding day." "If you don't support her, you could ruin your relationship." "(ORGAN MUSIC PLAYING)" "STELLA:" "Lynette." "Yeah?" "They're playing my song." "Are you ready to wheel me down?" "STELLA:" "Lynette!" "Lynette!" "Lynette, what are you doing?" "Okay, here's the thing." "I can't let you do this." "Who asked you?" "You can't marry an obnoxious jerk like that." "Mom, you want me to visit more often?" "That is never gonna happen if you're with him." "And think about the example you are setting your grandchildren, marrying a guy for his money." "Now, look, Tom and I have a little saved and..." "Lynette," "I know Frank's a bit of an acquired taste, but he needs me." "Nobody needs me anymore." "Your sisters are always busy, and I never see you." "I try to see you as much as I can, but..." "I know." "Your family needs you." "And Frank needs me." "Why didn't you tell me this?" "Why did you let me think it was all about the money?" "I guess it was easier to say that than to admit how useless" "and lonely I feel." "Okay." "Hello?" "We're trying to have a wedding out here." "Sorry." "My daughter doesn't think you're good enough for me." "She's right." "Now, hurry it up." "This church is in one of those ethnic neighborhoods, and I'm worried about the car." "(DOORBELL RINGING)" "Renee, there's someone we'd like you to meet." "This is our daughter." "Hello." "We just picked her up from the airport, and we wanted you to be the first person on the lane to meet her." "Oh!" "You didn't have to do that." "We know." "Hey, I'm gonna start getting her settled in." "Say goodbye to Mrs. Perry." "Bye." "Come on." "She's absolutely precious." "Yeah." "We're very lucky." "Listen, can I ask you for a favor?" "Lee, you know I don't like sentences that start that way." "Bob and I have been thinking." "And even though I know we're going to be great fathers, there may be times that Jenny needs to talk to a woman about stuff." "And on those rare occasions, I was wondering if we could bring her over here." "Well, sure." "Great." "I will go tell our daughter that if she needs anything, she can count on her old Auntie Renee." "And if she ever calls me "old auntie," I will kick her." "Got it." "Sorry." "Those are beautiful, Susan." "Thank you, Ethan." "Don't worry, they're not for you." "They're for people who still possess an ounce of humanity." "Whatever you say, Pollyanna." "But if I see any Mylar balloons with dogs wearing stethoscopes," "I'm filing a complaint." "(SIGHS)" "Why are you always so miserable?" "It's called anger, Susan." "I'm sure you have it, too." "Right underneath that "Hang in there, Kitty" smile." "Hey, Dick, take it easy." "It's okay, Ethan." "Fine." "You're angry." "The rest of us aren't." "So stop dragging us into your circle of self pity." "(PAGER BEEPING)" "ETHAN:" "It's me." "(LAUGHING)" "I'm so happy for you." "Thank you." "I've got to go call my mom." "Yeah." "(SIGHING)" "NURSE:" "Ready, Susan?" "Yes." "Actually, if it's okay, I'm gonna sit over here today." "Sure." "What are you doing?" "Leaving a note for the gardener." "If he has any more problems with those sprinklers," "I want him to know that we'll be at the cabin." "Oh." "Good idea." "Beth, I think we should bring some extra blankets." "It might get cold." "Would you mind grabbing a couple?" "Not at all." "Detectives." "Everything okay?" "I'm sure your wife told you a gun was recently discovered at Bree Van De Kamp's house." "Yes." "Apparently, it was the same caliber that I was shot with." "Bree seems to think your wife planted it there, hoping to implicate some of her friends in your shooting." "What an imagination she has." "So you've never seen this before?" "Mr. Young?" "Yes?" "You seemed to have quite a reaction there." "I'm not comfortable around firearms, that's all." "Just to be clear, you do not believe this belongs to your wife?" "Detectives, I know for a fact this is not Beth's gun." "Good day." "Should we take two blankets or three?" "Forget the blankets." "The trip's off." "What?" "Why?" "I got a call." "There's a problem with the cabin." "Oh, shoot." "I was so looking forward to it." "Trust me, Beth." "I think you dodged a bullet here." "I don't know what you did to this chicken, but it is the best thing I've ever had." "So, I stopped by Bob and Lee's house." "They're so excited about finally becoming fathers." "Which got me to thinking." "I know you had said that you're okay with not being able to have a child." "Is that still the case?" "Uh..." "Yeah." "That didn't sound very convincing." "It's kind of a weird question." "Okay, well, let me rephrase it." "If you had the chance to be a father, would you take it?" "Bree, where is this coming from?" "I thought we dealt with this." "Well, I just want to make sure." "I don't want you to see Bob and Lee with their child and start to have regrets." "What do you want me to say?" "There was a time in my life when I thought, "Yeah..." ""Yeah, I'd love to be a dad." But then I met you." "I'm just saying, if you had the choice..." "I don't." "This is really good chicken." "So?" "I'm sorry." "He doesn't even want to meet Charlie?" "Well, you have to understand that after six years," "Keith feels that it would be too difficult for everyone." "Why did I wait so long?" "Again, I am so sorry." "Oh, no." "You don't have to do that." "Please." "Keith and I feel that we really need to do something." "So please, take it." "Sorry, I had to show the sitter how to work the TV." "Now, where is this Chinese..." "(SCREAMING)" "You put her in a car seat?" "Well, she's expensive, and the way you drive..." "Honey, I've been thinking." "Maybe we should go see a therapist together." "I don't need a therapist." "I think you do." "Maybe I haven't been fair to you." "But you do really need to talk to someone about this." "Carlos, I'm not crazy." "Well, then, should I change the reservation to three?" "Don't be ridiculous." "She's not gonna sit with us." "She fits right in my bag." "This doesn't look like a place you'd put a restaurant." "No, it looks like a place you'd bury a body." "Will you just put the address into the navigation system?" "For the tenth time, I don't need it." "I know where Oak Park is." "Carlos, I'm starving." "I will not think you're weak if you use a navigation system!" "(SIGHS) Fine!" "I'll use it." "I'd much rather listen to that annoying voice than that one." "(CARLOS SIGHING)" "What's the address?" "It's 119..." " Get out of the car!" " (GABRIELLE SCREAMING)" "Okay, okay." "Take it easy, man." "Now!" "Get out." "We're doing it." "Be cool." "Can you hold on?" "What do you mean "hold on"?" "Get the hell out of the car!" "Gabby!" "I've got to get my baby." "Crap." "Just hold on..." "That's a doll!" "What are you trying to pull, bitch?" "Get out before I put a bullet in you!" " No!" " Gabby!" "I can't get the buckle!" " CARLOS:" "Come on!" " I can't get the buckle!" "I can't get the buckle!" "No!" "GABB Y:" "My baby!" "My baby!" "Gabby!" "(GABRIELLE CRYING)" "It's not Grace." "(SOBBING)" "Whoa!" "What are you doing to your roses?" "Pruning them." "Looks like you're killing them." "I know it looks bad, but sometimes you have to be ruthless if you want something beautiful to keep growing." "MARY ALICE:" "The world is filled with people who do ugly things." "Why do they act this way?" "Some lie to keep from losing what they love." "Some lash out because they fear the future." "Some put up walls because they have regrets." "Yes, everyone has a reason for the ugly things they do." "And once we find out why, then we can try to stop them."