" Dad?" " Yeah?" "The water's green." "No, it's fluorescent." " What's..." " Fluorescent." "Fluorescent means "lit from within. "" "So am I fluorescent?" "Yeah, Dory, you are." "It's okay, honey." "Why has Grandma been sleeping all day?" "Well, she's sedated, sweetie." "I don't know what that word means, Mom." "It means that she's been taking pills so she can sleep." "She lost her son, Harper." "There's nothing more painful in the whole wide world." "More than losing your dad?" "Different." "Different." " Cousin Laura's coming." " Really?" "Why?" "I haven't spoken to her in over 10 years." "That's Brian's computer." "I can't go in there, so can you..." "Okay." "Okay." "It's okay." "I got it." "Who is "Snakes290"?" "Oh, God." "He's an old college friend of Brian's that now lives in Michigan." "What does it say?" "He said, "What do you think of the Sonics' new power forward?"" "Well, what did he think of them?" "He thought he was a good rebounder, but his outside jumper needed some work." "Then write that." "All right." "I can do that." "Shit!" " What?" "What?" "What?" " Shit!" "What's wrong, Audrey?" " I forgot to tell somebody." " Who?" "Neal, can you take me down to Renton?" " Renton?" "You can't call?" " No, he doesn't have a phone." "Who doesn't have a phone, sweetie?" " Can you take me?" " No, honey!" "Come on, now!" "Okay, it's okay." "It's okay." "It's okay." "It's okay." "It's all right." "It's all right." "I can go." "Look, right around here from..." "There's his address book, and look up a Jerry Sunborne." "Who's Jerry Sunborne, darling?" "Who the hell is Jerry Sunborne?" "You want something to eat?" "No, I'm fine." "I'm fine." "I just couldn't..." " Do you have another one of those?" " Yeah." "Thank you." "I'm Howard Glassman." "I'm Jerry." "How did you know Brian?" "We grew up together." "I just live down the street and financed some of his deals..." " Oh, no." " I'm sorry." "Well, I'm..." "My wife." "It's nice to meet you, Jerry." "So you started smoking again?" "Come on!" "Get out of the way!" "All right!" "I bet you I could jump over it!" "I'm gonna jump over it!" "You don't know?" "I guess your brain's growing up too small." " Hey." " Hello." "Hi." "Hi." "I'm David." "My name is Jerry." "You're Harper." " Yeah." " Hi." " Hi." " Dory." "Your dad was my best friend." "When?" "When I was your age, and last week." "Strawberry Fields Forever is your favorite song." "And Dory's got that scar on his nose 'cause he was running and he thought the screen door was open." "But it was closed." "Everybody knows that, Dory." "You don't like mimes." "They scare you." "They don't talk." "Yeah, that's what they do." "Your suit is a little big." "Thank you." "That was imprudent of you." "I bet you can't do this." "Fast." " Hi." " Hey, Jerry." "I'm so sorry." "Thanks for coming." "I'm really glad you came." "I wasn't so sure you would actually come," " so, thank you." " No problem." "I hated you." "I hated you for so many years, Jerry." "It's all right." "And now, it just all seems so silly." "He was so loyal to a fault, you know." "Most people would've given up on you." "Hell, I would've." "But he didn't." "I know." "I'm gonna go." "No, I..." "Wait." "I need you to stay." "Please, can you just stay for a little bit?" " Sure." " Just a little bit?" "Sure." "Sure." "Good." "So Brian is maybe six years old, and we're the Andersons' guests at Flathead Country Club, and we're swimming in the pool, and all of the sudden, Brian gets out of the water and he pulls his bathing suit down and he takes a piss right in the pool." "And people are just freaking out." "June Anderson is freaking out." "People are going, "What are you doing?"" "I mean, he's peeing right in the pool like it's a urinal, so..." "Wow." "And when it was over I say, "Brian, why did you do that?"" "You know, I mean, he wasn't a bad kid." "He never acted out." "He's quiet, you know." "And I said..." "Okay, I'm totally messing this story up!" "I said, "Why'd you... " Shut up!" "I said, "Why did you do that?"" "And he came back with something that made no sense." "Shit." "I forget what he said." "It was so funny." "Shoot." "He said he didn't want to get his bathing suit wet." "Yes!" "That was it!" ""I didn't want..." "I didn't want to get my bathing suit wet!"" "That's okay!" "He was a little retarded as a kid, you know." "No, I'm sorry, but he was." "He was..." "He was slow, you know." "And, you know, he came around eventually." "We home?" "Don't let them grow up." "How about I make us some pasta?" "Open the wine." "That way our vacation won't have to end till tomorrow." "When I get back." " No." "No, Brian..." " I have to." " Why?" " It's his birthday." "So?" "Audrey, you didn't know him when he was a kid." "He was special." "Every time you leave here, Brian," "I'm scared to death you're not gonna come back." "Oh, Jesus, just stop being so damn dramatic." "You stop being so damn naive." "Audrey, it's his birthday." "Who the hell knows how many more he's gonna have?" "Mom?" " Hey, Jay." " Hey." "Happy Birthday!" " August 3rd." " August 3rd." "Yeah." " You're an old man." " Yeah." "Come on in." "Come on in." " She okay?" " Yeah, she's fine." "Have a seat." "I'm hungry." "You want to get something to eat?" " Yeah." "Cool." " Yeah?" "Let's go out." " They got coffee, strawberry..." " No coffee." "Strawberry." " Strawberry?" " Yeah." " Will you try and find some soup?" " Okay." "So they're not happy with the work, you know?" "I think I'm gonna fire the workers." "And Audrey's fucking someone else." "Are you checking to see if I'm listening?" "No, man." "You don't understand." "This woman looks so good there is no way that she is only fucking me." "Our neighbor's this guy named Landon Hicks." "He's this rugged, mountain-man type guy." "Big beard." "Big hair." "Doesn't even talk." "She's in love with Landon Hicks!" "Well, you gotta take the good with the bad." "What's the good?" "Are you still..." "Yes, I am." "I mean, you're still in the rotation, you know what I'm saying?" "You know, you gotta accept the good, man, 'cause they're gonna make you accept the bad." "You have everything any man would want." "Accept the good, Bri." "You have what I'll never have." "Oh, come on, don't talk like that about yourself, all right?" "Brian, you're my only real friend left in the world, you know that?" "Audrey angry you came to see me tonight?" "No." "Yes." "I don't know why you're so dead set against seeing her again." "Well, I don't want to see anybody until I'm clean." "That's why." "So, the Fed raised rates." "Is that gonna affect you?" "No, people will still buy." "This refi boom's got good legs." "Good." "Yeah?" "Jerry?" "Maybe." "Who is it?" "I'm Audrey Burke's brother, Neal." "Can you open the door, please?" "Yeah." "Yeah." "Yeah?" "Brian is dead." "He was killed." "Somebody killed him, and he's dead." "What the fuck are you talking about?" "He's dead." "Are you fucking with me?" "Some guy was beating up on his wife and Brian..." "What?" "Brian's dead." "The funeral is today." "I'm here to take you to the funeral." "You better not be fucking with me, man." "Do you have a suit?" "Yeah, I got a suit." "At this time, on behalf of the Burke family," "I'd like to thank those of you who have been able to spend this time with us." "Many of you have traveled a long distance, and it is much appreciated." "In a few moments, we'll be going to the Burke residence for the reception." "Okay?" "Okay." "Hey, what about chicken, Harper?" "You can eat chicken, can't you?" "Chickens are animals, Dad." "I don't eat animals." "Since when?" " Since meat is murder." " No more meat, honey." " Dad?" " Meat is murder." " Dad?" " Basically." " Daddy?" " Where did you learn this?" "I know things." "Not everything I know was learned." " Well, actually, that's not true." " Dad!" "The nature of knowledge is that you learned it somewhere." " Dad!" " Yes?" " I like meat." " I know you do." "He likes meat, Harper." "And he's gonna get bigger than you." "She does eat broccoli." " I see." " Don't you, baby?" "Did you take 60 bucks out of the car, babe?" "No." "That's funny, 'cause I had three $20s in the ashtray, and now they're gone." "No." "I didn't take it." "Was your friend in the car the other night?" "He didn't take it." " Who?" " He wouldn't take it." "Who?" "Who wouldn't take it?" " Would you wake up, Brian?" " Nobody." "Wake up!" " Wake up!" " All right." " Mom, who?" " Jesus." "Meat is so murder!" "Get her!" "Get her!" " Get her." " Well, it is." "Yeah, come in." "Yeah, I know." "I can't stay." "I gotta take off." "Oh, okay." "Well, it was very nice hanging out with you." "You know I appreciate it more than you know, man." " Well..." " Really." " Happy birthday, man." " Okay." "All right." " It's good to see you." " Take care." "Hey, don't forget the..." "Don't forget what?" " Groceries." " What?" "Hey, pretty boy." "It's way past her bedtime." "Oh, no, you're not watching that Lifetime movie again, are you?" "It's this commercial we just saw." "You're crying over a commercial?" "Do you have any idea what they're doing to baby seals in Alaska, honey?" "They were so cute, Dad." "Please, give them a lot of money." "I wrote down the Web site." " We need to make a really big donation." " Okay." "Okay, good." "Harper, out." "Out." " Good night, honey." " Good night, Mom." "Seal hater." "Seal hater." "Nice to meet you." "I'm gonna go wash up." "So how was he?" "He's all fucked up, Audrey." "All fucked up." "You know, he said this thing to me, didn't strike me until I was driving home." "He asked me if the Feds raising the rates would affect my business." "Now, that has no relevance for Jerry in his world, right?" "He would have read it somewhere and just remembered it because he knew it had relevance for me, you see?" "And I know that you think I just go there and I give, and I give, and he just takes, but, you know, he's my friend." "He looks out for me, you understand?" "He's my friend." "Okay." "You know, they forgot to put the dimmers on the lights." "I am gonna fire those guys, and I'm gonna go with the Polish guys." "You're taking the kids swimming at Howard's tomorrow." "All right." "Dory's putting his head under." " Go easy on him, baby." " Even if I have to push it." "Well, that's nice." "I told Jerry you were fucking Landon Hicks." "You what?" " Landon Hicks?" " He knows I was joking." " Why would I be fucking Landon Hicks?" " I don't know." "If I was gonna sleep with somebody it sure as hell wouldn't be Landon Hicks." "No?" "Why not?" "Because he doesn't speak." "That's why." "Who would it be?" "The water guy." "The water guy?" "Why?" "Because." "Why the water guy?" "'Cause he reminds me of a cowboy." "The guy that brings the Arrowhead water reminds you of a cowboy." "Oh, yeah." "Shouldn't have asked if you didn't want to know." "Come on." "Do it." "Okay, do it." "Please do it." "Come here." "That's it." "You guys need anything?" "No, thanks, Howard." "You gonna come in?" " He doesn't swim." " Okay." "Who spends $200,000 on a swimming pool and doesn't swim?" "All right, Doris, that's enough." "Maybe next time, you'll try building a mosque." "That's funny." "We'll be back in a couple of hours." " One, two, three." " Two..." " What happened?" " I don't feel like it." "He's just being difficult for the attention, Dad." "Thank you, Dr. Freud." "Why don't you go touch the drain or something?" "Now, look, Dory, just try." " I already did!" " No, you didn't." "Now, look, you got to face your fears." "Everybody has to in life, okay?" "Now, you're a man." "You're almost six years old." "It's time." "Now, let's do it." "I don't have to!" "You can't make me!" "No, I can make you." "Baby!" "You're kidding." " Am I kidding?" " Aren't you?" "Oh, yeah." "Yeah, we were kidding, right?" "Why don't you go to Mommy?" " Yeah." " I'll go swim with your sister." "Come on, baby." "Come with Mommy." "'Cause your daddy is a very abusive man." "Hey." "I put walnut stain on this thing." "Totally fucked it up." "No, you didn't, I think it looks good." "You think I'm ever gonna get an honest answer out of you, or are you just gonna love every single thing I do?" "It's..." "You know, I think it's ugly." " Thank you." " Yeah." "I steam it." "I sand it." "I stain it." "And after all of that, I only got one chance at the finish." "And if I screw that up, then the whole thing is messed up." "Well, what do I know?" "'Cause I'm just here to deliver the water." "Dad!" "I promised them Cold Stone." "Dad!" "To be continued." "Okay?" "To be continued." " Don't move, all right?" " I won't." "Hey, hey!" "Daddy, I want strawberry and vanilla." "Okay." "Strawberry and vanilla?" "Yeah!" "And Dory wants chocolate, strawberry and vanilla." "What do you mean strawberry and vanilla?" "And Mom wants lemon." " Lemon?" "All right." " Yeah." "I'll be back in a little while." " Bye!" " Bye." "Dory." "You look like a little puppy waiting for its owner." "Where's my ice cream?" " Excuse me." " Mom." "That's funny." "He's not answering." "Are you Mrs. Brian Burke?" " You love me." "You love me." " No." " Damn it!" "You bitch!" " No!" "You don't love him, you love me!" "Do you hear me?" "Fuck!" "And you lied to me!" "Don't you ever say that to me again, do you hear me?" " Don't you ever say that to me!" " Hey!" "Stop!" "Stop that!" " That's my wife!" "That's my wife!" " Stop!" "I don't care." "You're hurting her!" "Just leave her alone!" " You told me you were over him!" " Stop!" "Stop!" "Back off!" " God." " Just breathe and count to 10." "I'm breathing, man, all right?" "Count to 10 for me." " One, two, three, four..." " Yeah, all right, man." "Yes, hi." "I need an ambulance to Southwest Vista and Elm." "I got a woman here." "She's beaten." "She's badly beaten." "It's domestic and..." "No!" "I've got two kids." "I've got a 10-year-old girl and a six-year-old little boy." "And they're in there waiting for their daddy to come home with ice cream." "I'm so sorry." "What's going on?" "Jerry?" "Oh, I'm sorry." "He doesn't live here anymore." "Okay, can you tell me where I can find him?" "Try the McKinley Clinic." "Okay, the McKinley Clinic." "Okay." " Hey!" " Hi." "What are you doing here?" "I don't know." "I just wanted to see how you were." "Good to see you." "Want some coffee?" "Water?" " Yeah." " Come on." "So this is a methadone clinic?" "Yeah." " You take methadone?" " Not me." "I just help around the clinic and they give me a place to stay." "When was the last time you used?" "Sixteen days ago." "I tried to quit after the funeral, but I relapsed." "So how are the kids?" "Harper's messing up in school." "And Dory is having nightmares where his daddy is the monster." " Would you like some more?" " No." "I'm gonna shove off." " Stop it, Harper!" " I'm not doing anything." "Stop it, Harper!" " Mom!" " Harper!" "Stop it!" "You two are acting like little brats!" "All I asked you to do this morning was to sit here and eat quietly." "But you can't even seem to do that, can you?" "Don't laugh, Dory!" " Okay!" " It's not funny!" "Mom?" "Can I sleep with you?" "Yeah, honey." "Come on." "Right here." "There we go." "Oh, shit." " Hey!" "Okay, look, here's the deal." " Hi." "We had a fire in our garage." "The good news, we started to rebuild it." "The bad news, never finished it." "So, right now, all it is, is a room with a bathroom." "You can't stay here, Jerry." "You're nuts." "Why?" "Because it's free." "I don't need your charity, Audrey." "Who's offering you charity?" "I'm the one that needs the help here." "Really, you know how high my mortgage is?" "You can move in, get yourself situated, and, eventually, you can get a job and you can pay me rent." "So how come Brian never mentioned you?" "'Cause I'm a recovering heroin addict, maybe?" "I hate my wife." "I mean, since we're sharing." "I hate everything about her." "And she is gonna be furious when she finds out I gave this shit to you." "Okay." " Hey, Dory." " Hi." "You gonna give us a hand?" "Okay, cool." "Hey, Dory." "You got it?" " There we go." " Good job, good job." "Good job." "Yeah?" "Come in." "It's dinnertime." " Dinnertime?" " Yeah." "My mom wanted me to come over and get you." "Okay." "I need to put on my soles." "I got two soles, one and two." "Okay, let's do it." " Come on, that would be so cool!" " Yeah." " Yeah, that is so funny." " Yeah." " Hey, Jerry." " How you doing?" "Come on in." "Have a seat." "Girls?" "Girls, this is Jerry." " Jerry, this is Emily." " Hi, Emily." " And this is Sarah." " Hi, Sarah." "And Jerry is a really good friend of our family who's gonna have dinner with us tonight, okay?" "So, who wants chicken?" " Oh, me!" " Yeah?" " Chicken." "Jerry?" " No, I'm a vegetarian." "You are?" "So am I." " Meat is murder." " I want chicken." "I'm gonna give it to you right now, darling." "There you go, one for you." "So, I've been to California." "Have you?" "Really?" "I haven't been to California, but I hear it's really, really cool." " Yeah." " I've always wanted to go there." "It's really hot in the summer." "Like, I was there in short-sleeve shirts and shorts all the time." "It was so hot." " That is so cool." " And it was so..." "Yeah." "Hey." "Hey, Jerry!" "Yeah?" "I used to run with Brian every..." "I used to run with Brian every morning." "So you want to go for a run?" "I mean, I'm smoking, Howard." "I'll wait." "Howard, I haven't ran since junior high school." "We'll just, you know, go for however long." "You know, down to the driveway, whatever." "We'll just go, you know?" " I don't know if I can do it." " We'll just go slow." "That's it." "That's it." "Can't do it." "Okay." "This was our route." "Thought about changing it afterward, but this is our route." "Audrey, I don't think she's facing reality, man." "Is she gonna have to get a job?" "Who told you that?" "No." "Brian was a great developer." "He really thought outside the box, you know?" "Great at rehabbing space." "Found opportunities where nobody else could." "Was just..." "Their house?" "Paid off long ago." "No, Audrey'll never have to worry about money." " Morning." " Hey." " Can I have some water?" " Yeah." "Thank you." "So..." "Why am I here?" "I don't really know." "You know, it should've been you, Jerry." "Why wasn't it you?" " Sonics suck." " You suck." "It's a rebuilding year." "What?" ""Rebuilding year?"" " You're nine." " Ten." "And I'd take you down on the court anytime." "Oh, yeah?" "Go ahead." "One more time, one more time, one more time." "Shoot it." "Shoot it." "Check." "Come on, check." "Do you ever feel like you're inside of a movie?" "Do I ever feel like I'm inside a movie?" "No." "It's a sad movie." "You know, it'll change, Harp." "I promise." "Promise." "Give me a high-five." "Okay." "The hook, the hook!" "You gotta do the hook." "Do the hook." "Do the hook." "And I'm..." "I'm wondering if maybe you might be able to help me do something." "Sure." "Sleep." " I need to sleep." " Sure." "Okay, leave your shoes out here." "And shut the door." "Okay." "Come on." " Okay." " I need to sleep." " I don't know about this." " No, trust me." "This used to work better than Ambien." "Okay." "Bring this knee up, like that." "Higher." "Yeah, that's it." "Turn off the light." "Okay, now..." "Now take your hand and pull down on the earlobe." "Just pull down." "Yeah, just like that." "Yeah, but do it faster." "Harder." "Yeah." " Like that?" " That's it." "Just keep doing that." "I'm still awake." "You gotta keep going." " Keep going, keep going." " Okay, okay, okay." "Keep going." "Just for today, my thoughts will be on my recovery." "Living and enjoying life without the use of drugs." "Just for today, I will have faith in someone in N.A." "Who believes in me and wants to help me in my recovery." "Just for today, through N.A.," "I will try to get a better perspective on my life." "Just for today, I will be unafraid." "My thoughts will be on my new associations, people who are not using and who have found a new way of life." "So long as I follow that way, I have nothing to fear." "Is there anyone else that'd like to share?" " Okay." " Yeah?" "Hi, my name is Jerry and I'm an addict." " Hi, Jerry." " Hi, Jerry." "I've been clean for 21 days." "I'm here because my friend died." "He wasn't a user." "I knew him since second grade, and he was the only person who never, ever gave up on me." "He died a hero in this fucked-up, tragic way." "It killed me." "It really did." " Jerry?" " Yeah?" " Hey." " Kelly." "I liked your share tonight." "Good." "I like compliments." "Thank you." " So 21 days, huh?" " Yeah." " Bouncing off the bottom." " That's right, yeah." "You should stay till the Serenity Prayer." " Excuse me?" " Well, last week you left before the Serenity Prayer, and it's disrespectful to leave before it." "Disrespectful to who?" "To your recovery." "Well, my recovery thanks you." " Are you married?" " No." "Do you have children?" "Do I have children?" "Two." "A six-year-old son and a 10-year-old daughter." "Well, I should probably go, but I'll see you next week." "Yeah." "Buckle up!" " Hey." "Hi." " Hi." "Hey." "You hungry?" "You want me to make you a sandwich or..." "No, no, I'm fine." "You think I could use the computer?" "Yeah." "Sure." "Howard wants me to look into something." "Okay." "Come on, I'll show you." "It's in there." "I know I should..." "I think I need to clean it out or..." "Those shoes are looking good!" "So, how does a lawyer become a heroin addict?" " Really?" " Yeah." "Well, you start by doing coke, and then you move on to a little crystal meth, you get paranoid, then you find heroin, and after that..." "But you were a good lawyer, right?" "Who cares?" "Look at me." "Come work for me." "I don't know the first thing about the mortgage business, Howard." "You know what a house is, right?" "That's a good interview." "You got the job." "Here you go." "Thank you." " And here's the living room." " Yeah." "As you can see, Doris gets her decorating tips from Uday Hussein." "She's gonna get all this, you know, the house and everything." " So you're gonna go for it?" " Yeah." "But I'm not good at facing my fears." "I'm not strong like you." "Strong like me?" "Look, you're gonna have to take this test, the Washington State mortgage brokers' exam, but don't freak out." "I'll coach you through it." " You sure?" " Yeah." "Good." "Hey." "I brought your laundry." " Yeah." " Thank you." "You look good." "I mean, a lot better than you did when you got here." "Thank you." "Thirty-nine days." "What's heroin like?" "You ever heard that expression, "Being kissed by God"?" "Well, that's just at first." "All you do is you chase it." "You chase that initial feeling when you can never get it back." "You can get the escape when you do get high, but never like the first few times." "I wanna escape." "Yeah." "I wanna know what it feels like to escape." "No, you wouldn't." "Yes, I would." "And I would chase that feeling all day." "I would chase it until I couldn't chase it anymore." " No, you wouldn't." " Yes, I would chase it." "No, you wouldn't." "You're too strong." "Too engaged." "I'm sorry." "Sorry about that." "Yeah." "I'm sorry." "Oh, you..." "Let's play, sucker!" "Don't let my head get wet." " You don't let your head under water?" " No." "Can you put your chin under water?" "Show me." "How about this ear?" " And the other ear?" " Yeah." "And the top of your head?" "There, you just put your head under water." "Your chin, the top of your head, both of your ears." "That's everything, man." "How do you feel?" "I don't know." "Well, why don't you put it under and tell me?" "You've already done it." "It's easy to do something you've already done, man." " Wanna do it fast?" " Yeah." "On three?" "One, two, three!" " Hi." " Hi." "Everything okay?" " Yeah." "Can I..." " Yeah, come in." "Yeah." "Sit down." "Sit down." "Yeah." "What you did today broke my heart." "What'd I do?" "You got Dory to put his head under the water." " Just a cute trick, you know." " He's six." "Harper put hers under when she was only three." "It was something that Brian tried and tried to get Dory to do, but he couldn't." "And that victory today of getting Dory's head to go under was not supposed to be yours." "It wasn't meant for you to have that moment." "And for me, watching you was like this..." "This..." "I'm sorry." "Harper's missing." "The principal just called." "She's not in school now and she wasn't there yesterday, either." "She's been missing school for two days, but she was here last night." "I'm freaking out, Jerry." "She's not answering her cell phone." "I saw her get on the school bus this morning, okay?" "Well, you stay here in case she comes back because I'm going to the school." "...life without you." "And you know I'm not afraid to die." "That's between you and yourself, Norma." "You think I made that up about the gun, don't you?" "Harper!" "Call your mommy right now and tell her you're fine." "Yeah, it's almost over." "Call her right now!" "Right now, young girl!" "How'd you know where to find me?" "Your dad told me." "You know, you could marry my mom and then she'd be happy again, and we could be a family." "That could never happen, Harp." "Why not?" "Because that would make it so my best friend never existed." "But..." "He did exist." "I guess that's why." "And it doesn't matter because I could never fill his shoes, you know?" "You know what?" "I passed the test, though." " Really?" " Yep." " Good job." " Thank you." "Well, go ahead and tell her." "You tell her." "Well, there is a week every year that the Park Theater plays a different black-and-white movie every day, and Brian used to take off work and pull Harper out of school, and they'd both play hooky together" "and see one of these black-and-white movies, so that's where I found baby Hitchcock over here." "How'd you know about the movies?" "Brian told me." "So how the fuck did you know about it and I didn't?" "I don't know." "Maybe he knew if you did, you wouldn't let him do it again." "Just don't take it out on her, okay?" "It's not her fault." "What's wrong?" "This isn't working, Jerry." "Those are my kids, and I don't need you or anybody else telling me how to raise them." "I know that." "You need to get your stuff and you need to go." "Go." "Audrey." "Audrey." "Audrey." "Audrey." "Audrey, Audrey, stop." "This is unfair." "Not to me, to Harper and Dory." "Yeah, you're being selfish." "Fuck you!" " Thank you, Michael." " Thank you, Michael." "Anyone else?" "Okay, who's next?" "Kelly." "Hi, my name's Kelly and I'm an addict." " Hi, Kelly." " Hi, Kelly." "So I'm really mad today and frustrated because there's this woman at the convalescent home I work at, her name's Catherine." "She's 96 years old." "She's always been this really upbeat, high-energy, optimistic..." "Big smile all the time, and she was recently diagnosed with cancer." "But it's the kind that spreads slowly, you know, it takes about 20 years." "And I didn't want them to tell her." "You know, what's the point, right?" "She's gonna die of old age." "She's not gonna die of cancer." "They fucking told her!" "And now she knows, she's in her bed all day, she sleeps, she cries." "It's..." "I just..." "I don't think that they should've told her." "I'll be back." " Thanks, Kelly." " Thanks, Kelly." "Now, for those who wish, please let's join in the Serenity Prayer." "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference." "Are you gonna sell those to buy drugs?" "Excuse me?" "Are you gonna sell it to buy drugs?" "Why aren't you in bed?" "I had a nightmare." "Well, me, too." "Don't steal those." "Put them back." "It's bad." "Put them back." "Put them back." "Okay." " It's not good." " Okay." "Okay." "So what's your nightmare about?" "I woke up, went into my mom's bedroom." "She wasn't there." "She was gone." "I came down here to check where she was." "Then I woke up." "You know, the good thing is that it's..." "It's just a dream." "It's not real." "She usually sits with me until I fall back asleep." ""I look at each game, each day, as a new chance. "" "Jerry!" "Let's play, sucker!" "Jerry's gone!" "He's moved out!" "He's gonna go do drugs again." "He's not gonna go do drugs, honey." "Why would you think that?" "Is it because of me?" "Because I skipped school to go see those old movies?" "I promise, I promise, I'll never do it again!" "Just let Jerry come back!" "Honey, nothing you did made Jerry leave, okay?" "He's gonna be back, you'll see." "And he's gonna be fine." "He's a big guy." "Trust me on this one." "Come on, give me the ball." "Does that mean Jerry's gonna die now?" "Congratulations on two years of being clean." "Thank you." "My name is Frances and I'm an addict." "Hi, Frances." "Coming here for two years now has made me believe that this is possible." "My mother gave me this bear when I was five years old, and I plan to pass this bear on to my daughter when she's five." "You're gonna make it, girl." "Thank you." "Jerry?" "Who is this?" "Who's this?" "My name's Kelly." "Is this where Jerry lives?" " Yeah." " Is he there?" "'Cause he wasn't at the N.A. Meeting." "It was Fran's birthday, and this wasn't a meeting that he would've missed." "What does that mean?" "He's relapsed." "Do you have any idea where he might be?" "You don't wanna go there." "Hey, baby!" "Jerry?" "Jerry?" "Jerry!" "Jerry!" "It's Audrey." " Hi, Audrey." " It's Audrey." "Get up." "I'm taking you home." "Come on!" "Get up!" "Get up!" "Come on." "Come on." "You see what's left?" "Shut up, Jerry." "What can I get for you, Jerry, right now, that's gonna help you feel better?" "Chocolate." "Chocolate." "Come on." "Jerry." "It's fucked up." "It's fucked up." " It's fucked up." " Sit down, Jerry." "Sit down." "Yeah." "Jerry?" "What else do you need?" "You know what?" "I would like some ice cream, please." "Okay, I'll get you some ice cream, but for right now, Neal is gonna stay here with you, okay?" "Okay?" " Hi, Neal." " Hey, Jerry." "Looks like we're gonna be roommates for a while, all right?" "Fine with me, but don't..." "Hey, Jerry?" "Hey, hey, hey, hey!" "Jerry!" "Jerry!" "Jerry!" "Jerry!" "Too much sleep." "Well, we're gonna get you cleaned up." "Get you out of those clothes." "I hate it, man." "I hate it." "Oopsie-daisy." "Okay, you got any more drugs on you?" "I don't." "Oh, no." "Any needles?" "Okay, get that off." "We're gonna put that..." "Hey!" "Whoa!" "Whoa!" "Whoa!" "Hey, you just got here." "Go ahead, sit down." "Who's with him?" "My brother." "Thanks for telling me about him." "Are you his girlfriend?" "No." "No." "He was my husband's best friend." "The one who was shot?" "Was he the love of your life?" "I lost the love of my life, too." "To an overdose." "But it's what got me clean." "You know, they say that every time a user dies, there's one that gets clean because of it." "How long ago?" "2,653 days." "Does it get better?" "It gets different." "I have a new life, so now I can have a new love of my life." "Well, I don't know anything about addiction, Kelly, so would you like to help me?" "Hey!" "Hey!" "Hey!" "Hey!" "Okay!" "Hey, hey, hey." "Come on, come on, come on." "Come on." "Come on, come on." "Come on." "Come on." "Come on." "You gotta breathe." "You gotta breathe, baby." "It's me, it's me." "It's okay." "You gotta breathe." "I got you." "It's okay." "Okay, okay." "Nice and easy." "I feel like shit." "So the antacid you can give him now." "The tea is to help him keep down solids, and you want to give him the antihistamine really only at night." " Okay." "No, no, no, that's for Jerry." " Nice." "Do you want a little taste?" "Huh?" "When can I see him?" "Very soon, honey." "Promise." "All right." "Come on, right here, man." "Take this." "Take this." "It's gonna help you out." "All right, get it down, get it down." "A little water." "All right." "I'm cold!" "Are you gonna die like my dad?" "Yeah." "When?" "As soon as possible, I hope." "You're kidding, right?" "I brought you some cookies and water." "C-3PO and R2-D2." "Yeah." "3PO was a little stuck-up." "Yeah." "I like R2-D2 better." "Excuse me." "He seemed more accessible." "Here." "Here!" "Get back." "Hey, Jerry." " Hi, Audrey." " Ready, Emily?" "Come on in." "I'm just..." "I'm smoking." "Well, it's okay, you can smoke inside." "Okay." "So he does not pay, right?" "So, essentially, we are..." " Hi, Diane." " Hi!" "Hi." " How you doing?" " Feeling better." "Good." "You look better." "Thanks." "He's so wrong." "What?" ""R2-D2 is more accessible?"" "So it wasn't a hallucination, huh?" "No." "That was my son." "He was so cute." "Brought me a cookie and water." "Hold on, excuse me." "Dory!" "What did your mother say?" "What did your mother say?" "What did your mother say?" "You wanna sit and have some dinner?" "I think you should eat, you know?" "Maybe you can keep it down." "I'll try." "See how he's spinning around like that?" "Brian used to do the same thing." "Basketball games, soccer games, any game." "I know." "I miss the silliness," "the fun." "I don't know if I'm ever gonna feel happy again." "Am I ever gonna feel beautiful?" "You are beautiful." "No, I mean on the inside." "You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen." " Hey." " Hey." "What are you doing here?" "I invited her." " Howard?" " Yeah?" "Can we swim in the pool tomorrow?" "I'm sorry, Dory, but I don't live there anymore." "Why?" "Well, because my soon to be ex-wife is gonna get the house." "Honey, we'll find another place to swim." "Okay?" "What kind of music did your husband like?" "Did he like classical music?" "Yeah." "What did he drink after dinner?" "Coffee?" "Italian wine?" "Or nothing?" "Chocolate milk." "He loved chocolate milk." " What kind of toothpaste did he use?" " Crest." "He..." "Crest." "Come on, ask me a question, Kelly." "Okay, what was his favorite movie?" "I can't remember." "He liked this really old boring one, with the guy from Meet the Fockers." "Godfather II." " It was One, actually." " Yeah." "No, he liked Two." "My dad shot a squirrel." " He did?" " Yeah." "He killed it." "He cried a lot." "He was nine." " We had a fire." " You did?" "Yeah." "How did it happen?" "It was electrical." " The garage door opener went kaput." " Oh, yeah." " Yeah." " My dad wasn't upset, but my mom was." "Yeah." "We lost so many things, I mean, baby clothes, our photo albums." "My bike." "Your bike, important papers, everything, just..." "We lost a lot." "And I remember, I..." "I went to him and I said, you know, "How can you be so calm?"" "And he said, "Hey, you know, those are just things, Audrey." ""Those are just the stuff." "That's just stuff." ""We still have each other. "" "Hi." "Are you okay?" "This is a list" "of all the things we lost in the fire." "He's gone." "He's gone." "Jerry!" "Why?" "Why?" "It's okay." "It's okay." "It's okay." "It's gonna be okay." "Audrey?" "Yeah?" "I'm back here." "In Dory's room." "Harper told me you wanted to see me." "Hey, come on." "Sit down." "So I spoke to Kelly." "And..." "She said that this, you know..." "This facility, or rehab place really worked for her." "So..." "Now, I was kind of thinking that maybe you should go and..." "Audrey, you've already done enough for me." "Right." "Okay, but, look, if you're gonna make this about money, then I'm gonna be pissed." "Now, if you wanna make it about something else," "I mean, I don't know, whatever, I'm gonna hate it, but, you know, I guess I can accept that." "You know, Brian used to say something to the kids all the time." ""Accept the good. "" "Accept the good, Jerry." "Do they glow in the dark?" "Yeah." "They're fluorescent." "Okay." "I'll go, but under one condition." "When I come out, I'm gonna get a job, and I'm gonna pay you back, down to the last penny, and you will take it." "Promise?" "Hey, Harp." "Hi, Jerry." "Wanna play?" " Can I talk to you for a second?" " Yeah." "Okay, here it is." "I'm gonna be leaving soon." "I'm gonna go to a sort of hospital." " For how long?" " Well, I don't know." "But when I get out, I'm gonna have my own place and you can come visit." "You mean you're not staying here anymore?" "No." "Why the face?" "That's how it was always gonna be." "No!" "You can't just come here and pretend to be my dad and leave!" "Harper, I never pretended to be your daddy." "Where's your sister?" "She locked herself in her room." "She's mad." " Why?" "She's mad at you?" " No." "You." "She's mad at me, huh?" "She doesn't wanna talk to anyone." "Okay, watch your hand." "Scram." "Jerry!" "Jerry." "Man." "I thought I was gonna miss you." " I'm proud of you, man." " Thank you." "I'm going back to my wife." "I'm lonely as fuck in town, man." "Okay." "Howard?" "Thank you." "Harper?" "I want to say goodbye." "Can you take a look at this note?" "I love you." "Hey." "Are you gonna be my friend when you get better?" "I'm gonna be your friend forever." "Like you were with my dad?" "You bet." "Now give me a real kiss." "Good." "Okay." "Wait!" "Wait!" "Wait!" "Wait!" "Jerry!" "Hey!" "Hi, my name is Jerry and I'm an addict." " Hi, Jerry." " Hello, Jerry." "I've been clean for 89 days." "My mind is clearer," "and I think it's getting better." "Every day, a little bit." "But I wanna talk about this dream I keep having." "It always starts with me stealing silverware." "Then I go sell it to this guy who I used to know who owned a catering service." "Then with the money, I go to this place where I used to buy my drug of choice," "and he's not around." "So I go to other spots, right, but for some reason, no one is around." "All of Seattle is dry, and then I get that feeling, the dread," "and I panic." "And I start running, and it's raining, and it gets dark." "And then I'm in my old apartment, and I'm thrashing right through it, looking for something I might have stashed away." "And I think I'm having a seizure." "And then I find a balloon hidden in my suitcase." "So there I am with a bag of junk in one hand" "and the money for my next fix in the other, and I feel at total, utter peace." "And I wake up." "One day at a time." "One day at a time." "One day at a time." "One day at a time." "Thank you."