"Life in a hospital is never boring." "What the hell are you guys doing?" "Practicing our slow motion run." "Makes everything seem more dramatic." "You're doctors." "Doctors." "Baby?" "Go get her, Turk!" "Waaaaaaiiiiit!" "Oh, he's slow." "Time to go see my favorite patient, Mr. Gregory Marks." "He may need a new kidney, but he sure as hell doesn't need a new heart." "Hey, I bought you a present." "Oh, my God, a journal!" "Well, you seem like the kind of sensitive young buck that likes to chronicle his feelings." "I can't wait to chronicle this one!" "Oh God!" "I gotta tell you, Mr. Marks..." "Even though I know you'd never take it, I'd give you one of my kidneys in a second." "Oh, no, I would definitely take it!" "I would take it with my bare hands." "Awesome." "Well..." "let me check your chart and s-see if we're a match!" "Please don't be a match!" "Please don't be a match!" "Blood type O!" "Not a match!" "Yes!" "Yes!" "Yes!" "Yes!" "I'm so sorry." "Do you have chocolate cake today?" "Nope." "Oh." "Isn't that just the pickle on the giant crap sandwich that is my day!" "Elliot, relax;" "I never get chocolate cake." "Oh, right,'cause you're diabetic." "Boo-hoo!" "You know what, Turk, if you want sympathy, get a disease people can see!" "Wow!" "Oh my God, I am so sorry." "I'm just having the worst day." "It's no biggie." "Forgive and forget, right?" "Please get her." "I have been kicking ass lately, but this place is such a boys' club..." "I still can't even get x-rays or lab tests back on time." "Hey, Elliot, if you're desperate to get things done, you could always do what Jordan does." "Could you move my car out of the sun?" "If the seat gets too hot, my thighs get all pink and sweaty." "Yeah." "Bye-bye, security guard." "Hm." "Very classy." "Don't judge me, stick." "You do what you have to do to level the playing field." "Well, Carla and I would never behave that way." "Thank you." "How'd you get chocolate cake?" "He said they didn't have any!" "Oh." "I just did like this and said, "Got cake?"" "This is ridiculous!" "You can't just get cake by going like this:" "Mmm?" "Hello, Heather." "You will never guess what I found on the computer!" "Is it a set of adult male shoulders?" "They had to trim them to get me out of that well." "Oh, right." "Anyway, know Mr. Marks?" "He said he doesn't have any family to be a kidney donor?" "But he's got a son!" "We gotta find this guy!" "Look, Newbie, there are times a man wants to keep something to himself." "Like, say, he's got a son." "Or he's 29-years-old and keeps a journal with a unicorn drawn on the cover?" "Ah, that's a horse with a sword on his head, and he's there to guard my hopes and dreams." "Come on, if the guy didn't tell you about his son, I'm sure he had a pretty good reason." "You know, you always do this... you get too involved in your patients' lives." "And just exactly how does that usually work out for ya?" "Eventually someone's gonna miss me, Jerry!" "Oh, God, no." "He made me watch'Everwood'." "Yeah, yeah." "Look, Claudia:" "Just promise me you won't get too involved with your patient." "Okay?" "After getting more involved, I found out Mr. Marks's son was an air-traffic controller at a small private airport." " Come on, Brian, I don't wanna do this..." " Relax, will you?" "Relax." "We're gonna put her on the speakerphone, if you don't like the sound of her voice, she's history." "I'll tell you something about'Wings' ...they really got it right." "Excuse me, are you Murray Marks?" "I'm busy." "You don't look busy." "Tower, this is flight 117." "We've lost an engine." "Yeah, you're right." "I'm not busy." "You can take that." "No, no, no." "Let's talk." "Oh, God!" "We've lost the other engine!" "Take it!" "TAKE IT!" "Okay." "Pull up, 117." "Pull up." "Hello?" "Hello?" "We lost'em." "So what was your thing?" "Shouldn't you call the fire department or something!" "?" "!" "Nah, nah." "That was just Mickey fooling around." "Hey." "This is a tiny airport, we get like one airplane a day." "I'm a pretty airplane!" "Board me!" "He's a little off." "He smells like fuel." "He's an airplane." "Scrubs épisode 4x07 :" "My unicorn" "I'm not quite sure I'm getting this." "What's not to get?" "Look, Dr. Cox told me not to get involved," "I defied him, and now, with your help, I'm gonna rub it in his face, okay?" "Now for the last time, the song goes like this:" ""You were wrong!" "I found his son, I found his son, I found his son!"" "And then you jump out and go, "That's me!"" "Yeah, but--okay, but wouldn't it be funnier if I came on the second "I found his son," just to get to it?" "Yeah, that would be a whole lot funnier." "But I have a question:" "Who's gonna be singing the "I found his son" song?" "Because it certainly won't be me!" "Okay?" "Here he comes." "Dr. Cox...?" "You were wrong!" "I found his son, I found his son, I f..." "That's meeee!" "Too early?" "We rehearsed this!" "We were on your scooter." "Gah!" "Reunion time." "This is gonna be great." "Mm?" "Murray?" "Before you say anything, I just want you to know if you need a kidney, you can have mine." "See?" "For seventy thousand dollars!" "I love this moment so much I want to have sex with it." "Franklyn." "I was wondering if you could put a rush on Mr. Lowenstein's urinalysis?" "Because I've got a really important interview for a fellowship next year." "No." "We're done talking now." "Elliot." "We can help." "No!" "No." "You will not turn Elliot into some flirtatious manipulator." "I mean, don't get me wrong, outside the hospital, Elliot with her hair up is a slammin' hottie." "But in here she's an asexual mess." "And that's the natural order of things." "And you don't mess with the natural order!" "Elliot, don't listen to him, he doesn't know what he's talking about." "Look, I will try anything." "I just don't want to compromise who I am." "Eh?" "Sweetie, you won't have to do that!" "Sure, if it's something really important, you might have to occasionally sleep with someone." "That's how I hooked up with Perry ...needed a pen." "You won't have to compromise yourself." "It's all about subtlety." "It's...a lingering smile -- ...a chuckle at a bad joke -- ...a look in your eye that says, "If you do what I want maybe something will happen between us, even though you know it never will...."" "Franklyn, if you analyze this urine sample right now, then maybe I'll have sex with you, but probably not." "So close." "All right, we--what's the problem with your dad?" "Well, for starters, he named me "Murray." That's an old man's name!" "Oh, come on, no it isn't!" "MURRAY!" "WHAT!" "?" "Everything my father's ever done was designed to humiliate me." "Murray!" "WHAT!" "?" "What." "No, the youngest Murray!" "I'm sixty-eight!" "Thirty-four!" "You don't know what it was like having him as a father." "He had me in his shadows my whole life." "He actually sang at my senior prom." "My date threw her panties on the stage ...first and last time I saw them, by the way." "Whenever I'm around the guy I'm invisible." "Oh, come on, you're exaggerating." "See what I mean?" "I love this song." "Ooooh." "Thank you!" "Okay, so I tried to get some x-rays back from the lab tech by making a kissy face, and he asked me if I had palsy!" "Elliot, if you want to get ahead, you have to use what God gave ya!" "Or in your case, what Dr. Fineberg gave you." "Exactly!" "I can't keep my kidney guy's son from leaving." "Elliot will help." "You can do this!" "Hi, I'm Elliot." "Hi, I'm Murray." "Hi, I'm Elliot." "I'm firing blanks, here!" "Frick!" "These are my favorite scrubs!" "Is it a bad stain?" "No." "That's a good stain." "That's a very good stain." "That's my favorite stain ever." "I did it!" "She has nice breasts." " They're real." " Yeah, right." " No, they are." " They're not." "I can't believe you got cake!" "The guy said they didn't have any." "Just do what I told you to do." "Sweets for the sweet." "Thank you..." "Glen." "Look, Murray, it doesn't matter that your father's handsome and charismatic and sings like a young Joan Baez." "He's your flesh and blood, and you gotta step up." "Look, you obviously have some issues with your own father that you're projecting on to me." "So why don't you go ahead and give him a jingle?" "He's dead." "Good stuff!" "No, I'm serious." "Classic!" "He had like a massive heart attack." "I'm sorry for your loss." "Now, about the kidney...." "I wish I could fly my plane right now." "I always like to fly it when I have to make a big decision." "Make the "flesh and blood" argument again but in a different way." "Blood and flesh, Murray." "I'll do it!" "Jackpot!" "Yawning, Glen!" "One for the road, Glen?" "Thanks!" "Happy weekend!" "Elliot, did you talk Franklyn into doing your patient's urinalysis before mine?" "No, I just told him I lost my voice and had to whisper in his ear... like this." "Careful, Elliot." "Oh, come on, what harm could come from a little flirting?" "Ah!" "I wanna see that engagement ring." "That costs ten thousand dollars." "I got twelve bucks." " You okay?" " Yeah, why?" "You have created a monster." "Elliot did a little tongue dance in Franklyn's ear just to get him to do her labs before mine." "So she used her femininity!" "The only reason you usually get your lab-work back so fast is because you always pick Franklyn to play basketball, even though he always shoots his foul shots granny-style." "This is different." "Excuse me." "This is gonna cause problems." "Oh, I'll just be a sec." "Dave, can I get an orange soda?" "I'm so hot and thirsty." "It's on me." "I'd like an orange soda too." "Oh, I'm sorry, that was the last one." "How sad." "That's the way female doctors around here behave, I hope the young lady I'm interviewing is a different breed." "Do either of you know where I can find Dr. Elliot Reid?" ""I told you so" moments are rare." "So when they come, you have to savor them." "Hey, Newbie!" "The good news is that Murray and his dad are a match, kidney-wise." "The better news is that the test revealed a little secret you're gonna wanna share with your new pal." "Gregory is not Murray's biological father!" "Oh, no." "By the by?" "This moment is so great," "I'd cheat on that other moment from before, marry this one and raise a family of tiny little moments." "Dammit!" "I couldn't decide whether I should tell Murray his dad wasn't his dad." "Luckily hospitals are full of supportive colleagues eager to help." "Go tell that little bastard this second, before he coughs a kidney up to his fake father and sues this hospital!" "Write that down in your little unicorn book." "Uh, actually, sir, it's a horse with a sword on his head." "You know I'm a unicorn." "Why can't you just say it?" "What are you going to do, son?" "Well, Dr. Kels..." "Well, Dr. Kelso, I'm just gonna tell him." "Murray's got a good heart, and he'll do the right thing." "I'm outta here!" "Murray!" "Whaaat?" "Not you, Old Murray!" "Okay!" "I put interview guy in the lounge and told him that Elliot was with a patient." "Now." "How we gonna fix this thing?" "You're okay." "The guy wanted an orange soda, right?" "We bring him an orange soda, maybe the whole thing goes away." "Okay, here's the plan:" "Jordan and I will take care of interview guy." "Soft-Scrub, you can do whatever the hell you want." "I will." "Dammit!" "I told you to sparkle!" "He says he clears his head by flying his plane." "But I went to his airport?" "He doesn't have a plane there!" "What should I do?" "Who gave you this number?" "Come on, I'm really asking for your help here." "Yeah, but, it's very important we focus on the whole "who gave you this number" issue." "Fine!" "Maybe I got too involved like you said." "But would it kill you for once to acknowledge that my heart is in the right place instead of spending all your time berating me?" "You got the number from Jordan, didn't you." "She hates me." "You've been great as usual." "Dammit, Murray!" "What corner of the sky are you and your plane hiding in!" "?" "There you are!" "Hi, buddy!" "Hey...!" "Ohh, ohh!" "I'm a doctor!" "I'm a doctor!" "Everything can't get to me!" "What an odd sized explosion." "Elliot, your interviewer called, he's running late." "Would you take Turk somewhere for me?" "Where?" "Oh." "The, uh, honey festival!" "Oh my God!" "Is that back in town?" "Sure is!" "And Turk would love to go with you." "You would?" "Yes." "I love large groups of white people eating pollen." "On behalf of the honey festival, I would like to thank our two volunteers:" "Our taster, Elliot..." "And of course, Christopher, the human honeycomb." "I thought you meant the cereal!" "Can I talk to you for a second?" "Tower, are you there?" "I lost an engine!" "I'm not falling for that crap again!" "This is real!" "Mickey's not here." "Oh, God!" "I lost another engine!" "Calm down, Frank." "You left your engines in the storage shed." "Oh, there they are!" "Thanks, Murray." "It's what I do." "Anyhoo, what do you think your dad is doing right now?" "He's not my dad, he's my fake dad." "Which means what my fake cousin Samantha and I almost did in the tenth grade would have been beautiful...and right." "Been there with my gram-gram...." "All right, fine, what do you think Gregory's doing right now?" "Probably playing his stupid guitar." "Ah, so maybe I wasn't the perfect dad." "I mean, there were the occasional missed baseball games...." "And the taking of his college sweetheart to the Bahamas for two weeks without telling him...." "But I still don't see why he resents me this much." "Boy, tell me about it." "You know, I got this kid who constantly ignores my advice, and then flashes me the sad doe eyes every time I call him a girl's name or scream in his face." "Do you wanna sing about him?" "No." "Not ever." "Sometimes Dr. Cox is all over me, like every second of my life." "Why do you keep talking about your boss like he's your father?" "Remember?" "Recently deceased dad?" "Massive heart attack!" "Yes!" "I mean, yes." "You do know he's not yours, don'cha." "I figured it out." "Mostly because his mother was eight months pregnant when I met her." "But there were other signs." "'Course." "But his real dad was such a jerk we just decided not to tell him." "A boy needs a father who loves him, you know?" "Yeah." "Elliot!" "What are you doing here?" "My interviewer called my cell phone." "He has been waiting to talk to me!" "What the hell?" "Woman, I was covered in bees!" "Elliot, wait!" "Elliot, you did your flirty manipulation thing in front of that guy in there, and now, well, he kinda thinks you're this despicable floozy ho excuse for a doctor." "Oh." "Um...well, then I will just explain it to him." "It'll be fine." "Wait!" "Sir, just hear me out!" "It..." "UGH!" "Ladies." "I think we've learned our lesson." "That is not helpful, Turkleton!" "I was covered in bees!" "Oh my God, he's actually giving him an orange soda." "What happened?" "He's gonna reconsider you." "How'd you do that?" "Hey, buddy." "I need you to reconsider Blonde Doctor." "And I'm gonna tell you why." "See, I'm the future Mr. Blonde Doctor?" "And I kinda need this to happen so that I can, uh... hey, over here..." "I need this to happen so that I can just hang out around the house and, you know, bake bread or... gab across the fence with neighbor Marge." "Nice lady." "Polish, I think." "Doesn't matter, I'm not prejudice." "What the hell are you talking about?" "Here's the thing:" "I need you to take this can of orange soda, turn, smile, and give Blonde Doctor a big thumb's up!" "Or, I'm gonna take the same orange soda, follow you down to the parking lot, and smash your head in with it." "We...talked about your future." "I don't know if I can go through with this." "I wish there was something to help me get through the door." "Hey, jerk-hole." "Yeah?" "No, new jerk-hole!" "Now, no matter what you think of that guy in there, he always knew he wasn't your father but he stayed in the game anyway." "So how's about you get your selfish ass in there." "Okay." "Hey." "Hey." "So, I got this extra kidney I'm not using." "Are you sure?" "Yeah." "You know I love you, right?" "Yeah, I know you do." "I love you too, dad." "Dad." "Dad." "Dad!" "In a hospital, it's easy to take things too far." "Still, sometimes you have to go too far to see where the line is." "Please, Franklyn?" "Oh, okay." "Come with me, little friend." "As for me Maybe I got too involved with Murray and his fake real dad." "But as I watched Gregory serenade a clearly uncomfortable Murray, I realized something." "If Murray could look past his dad's imperfections and appreciate all the time he'd given him, maybe I owe Dr. Cox a thank-you for the same thing." "Hey." "I just wanted to take a second to thank you for constantly berating me, doubting my abilities, and the overall devastation of my self-esteem." "My pleasure." "Now wrap it all up with a slow motion hand wave." "Oh, I'm slooooow, baby."