"I run a regime based on cooperation and respect." "You respect me, I'll respect you." "You don't, well, you'll wish you had." "We both know the women need someone on their side of the bars." "It's up to you whether you run away from it or you cash in on it." "DI:" "Sylvia's asked me to give her a lift up to Hampstead." "She's been left some house, and she wants me to go with her to collect the keys." "You're both sacked." "What?" "You heard." "Get those aprons off." "You're not the only ones who know how to use a mop and a ladle." "We now have access to practically everyone and everything in this prison." "That was the estate agent." "He's valued my house at £2.2 million." "Oh, come on, Di." "So I lost my temper." "That is not all you've lost, you bastard!" "Don't you bother coming home tonight 'cause your two minutes is up." "Look, Di, I'm sorry." "Why, because you had to sleep in the office?" "Look, forget what I said yesterday." "I was tired." "I'm stressed out by the new job." "An ungrateful bastard is what you are." "And don't you forget, I could still drop you in the shit." "Di, listen please." "You don't understand." "The reason I'm like this, all messed up, it was that prison." "What are you talking about?" "I was raped." "Look, would you kindly stop mauling me?" "If you want to pull, darling, you got to push." "Now, smile." "I just..." "I just didn't want you thinking I was some sort of poof." "Especially after everything you went through with Grayling." "Jim, as if I would." "It's not your fault." "I've been trying to tell myself that ever since." "Who did this to you?" "What?" "Oh, Di, don't make me go into the detail." "You've got to go and see someone, a professional." "The last thing I need is to chat to some do-gooder about being shafted, please." "Jim, rape victims experience psychological damage." "Now, I'm not going to stand by and watch you just fall apart." "Either you make the appointment or I will." "If it means that much to you, then..." "I'll get Malcolm to refer me." "Oh, Frank, don't tempt me like this." "Could write some of these off, no one would know." "You'd..." "You'd do that for me?" "Course." "Do you know, I can't remember the last time anybody brought me a present." "You're..." "You're like a knight in shining...well, a white van." "It's worth it just to see you smile." "Oh." ""Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death." "Amen."" "Why?" "Me look like shit, man." "Thanks to you bawling into the night." "What do you expect?" "I'm stuck in here for the next five years, aren't I?" "Well, you best tough up your bad self." "Who do this?" "What is it?" "A present from Buxton." "(GASPING)" "Oh, my God!" "That bitch does what she like, man." "I'm telling Mr Grayling." "You got me slung in this poxy dump, ain't that enough?" "Listen, girl, I tried to take on that a while back." "She licked me down to her ass." "So don't mess." "(KNOCKING ON DOOR)" "Come on." "Breakfast." "Sir, I'm feeling really rough, sir." "I just need a lie-down." "Go on, then." "I'll check up on you in a while, all right?" "Thanks." "(DOOR CLOSING)" "I reckon this salon is just what we need." "Yeah." "Fresh start, you know." "And if we make a go of it in here, we can get a proper trade waiting on the out." "And in the meantime, it's two fingers to Fenner." "Make that four." "Can't you move your fat ass any quicker?" "(ALL SHOUTING)" "Calm down!" "Calm down!" "You'll all get fed." "Keep an eye on this lot, will you?" "Buxton, come here." "That little deal you wanted, you got it." "The library job, are you serious?" "Mm-hm." "Well, I'll certainly enjoy the peace and quiet." "I hope you don't get too lonely." "I was hoping you'd help me out with that." "Go on." "What was she after?" "Well, I've just given her the library job." "You have got to be joking." "A little bit of responsibility might improve her behaviour." "It's worth a try." "Anyway, listen, I'm seeing Malcolm at lunchtime about that referral." "Oh, yeah, good luck." "You'd better sort out this hairdressing salon." "Talk to works." "I've given them my instructions." "Do I look like a dog?" "Eh?" "I ain't eating no scraps, man." "Hey, don't do that, you filthy mare." "Don't touch that." "Don't get mad with me." "Them bitches, they'll serve up shit!" "TINA:" "Look, I'm sorry." "What are you playing at?" "I'm doing the sodding lot out here." "Careful, Tina, the voodoo dolly might hear you." "I wouldn't let that concern you, O'Kane." "Seems that voodoo doll turned out to be my lucky charm." "Thanks to an inheritance, I'm a property millionairess." "Now, get off your backsides and start working or you're sacked!" "Honestly, there is no way..." "Oh, buck up, Bev." "If one bar closes, then we go and find another one." "Yes, well, there is only one shitting bar in this dungeon, and we are bloody barred from it." "Not all of us are." "Feeling better now, are we?" "Yeah, thanks." "The lie-down really sorted me out." "Good." "All right?" "Come to say thank you for your present?" "Cause you spread shit about me again, and that's what's going to happen to your other eye." "Well, I'm not the one you want to worry about." "Arun was all ready to grass on you to Mr Grayling this morning, tell him about what you gave me." "And?" "Well, me and her fell out over it." "I was like, "You do not grass on Natalie Buxton."" "And then she goes..." "Why are you telling me this?" "So you know I can be trusted." "Look..." "I can make myself useful." "Pick pockets, whatever." "I'm good at nicking." "So that's why you're banged up for it, yeah?" "Okay, maybe you can be useful." "First job, bring Arun to the library after you finish morning work." "Thank you." "Do you know, we would do better just sit down and scoff the lot ourselves." "You won't be saying that when I've changed them into goodies." "Here." "You pair must think I'm a right muppet!" "Every time I turn round, you two have effed off somewhere." "Oh, you have our sincere apologies." "Yeah." "Well, you can stick them up your chuff 'cause I ain't putting up with it no more." "Bear with us, Tina." "You clean for three, and you will be more than thrice rewarded from the screws' bar." "Eh?" "Name your tipple." "Cider?" "Gin?" "Scotch?" "Oh, it's vodka, isn't it?" "Then vodka you shall have." "Yeah?" "Yeah." "But just leave us to weave our magic." "Oh, how long till I get my vodka?" "Well, how long is Phyl's wand?" "Very soon." "Yeah." "Well, I better had, 'cause I ain't slogging my tits off forever." "What's keeping that Denise?" "Listen." "I'm sorry about the way I've been acting." "Oh, you were saying sorry to me?" "Yeah, look, I know I've been a bit gobby, it's just..." "Well, it's hard, trying to get used to this place." "Especially with Natalie Buxton giving you grief." "Yeah." "Look, how about you and me keeping well out of her way by doing some of them courses?" "Yeah." "Well, we could go to the library after exercise, get some info." "All right." "Oh, Denise from D-Wing, I presume." "Phyl Oswyn." "New girl on G-Wing." "Since when?" "Since Mr Fenner came back, gave the Julies the sack." "Sorry, I thought with you cleaning the screws' bar you'd, you know, be in there with all the goss." "I don't discuss work with other inmates." "Do you like cream cakes?" "Any one you fancy." "Are those the officer's cakes?" "No, no, no." "They're a present from the baker's deliveryman." "He said he'd give me a box every day to keep me sweet." "I mean, what's a girl to do?" "Nothing I could do to tempt you?" "No?" "Oh, well." "I like doughnuts." "Take the whole box, go on." "Tell me, how many boxes of cakes would you call a litre of gin's worth?" "Think about it." "Come and tell me tomorrow." "Cake today, GT tomorrow, eh?" "In the bag, darling." "In the bag, bollocks." "What course do you fancy?" "Fashion design." "It's what I've always wanted." "Hello, Arun." "You set me up?" "Yeah." "Janine's learnt not to be a grass." "Now it's your turn." "I thought we were mates." "You expect me to forgive you when your big mouth put me in here?" "I think it's time Arun had a little education." "No, Janine." "Get her." "Come on." "No, please!" "Shut up!" "Hit her." "Come on." "No!" "Hit her in the ribs!" "Harder!" "Again!" "Mind her face!" "Again!" "Again!" "Here, look at this, Ju." "Just bring it all in here, guys." "What the bleeding hell is all this?" "Combs, 40 rollers, shampoo..." "Oh, this is really nice stuff." "Hey, hold on." "Is this meant for us?" "Obviously." "What you putting it in here for?" "Because this is your new salon." "You're having a flipping laugh, ain't you?" "Even the best hairdressers had to start somewhere." "Not in a bleeding cell, they never." "It'll be great, trust me." "A lick of paint, some mirrors." "Couple of sockets for your hairdryers." "That don't matter." "It ain't right for a salon." "We gotta kip in here and all." "Yeah, it ain't going to work." "Well, obviously when it's divided properly." "What?" "What?" "(KNOCKING ON DOOR)" "Come in." "Hello, mate." "Jim, what brings you here?" "I, um..." "I need your advice." "I want to sort out the old plumbing." "That's due to your time spent under lock and key, dear boy." "Enough to make a lead pipe flaccid." "Eh?" "No, no." "It's all in full working order." "That's why I'm after the snip." "Vasectomy?" "Yeah, that's the one." "Well, I've got two kids." "Don't need any more." "Wasn't Di keen to start a family?" "Well, maybe, but I'm not." "I'll refer you immediately." "I appreciate that, Malcolm." "Hang on." "It's a good clinic." "They'll see you right." "Ta." "Oh, and you will keep this strictly between you and me?" "Absolutely." "(KNOCKING ON DOOR)" "Oh, am I interrupting?" "No, no, no." "I'm just leaving." "Morning, Doctor." "Sylvia." "What a tonic." "If only I could bottle that feeling and prescribe it to my patients." "I just came to say what a wonderful time I had last night." "First of many more, I hope." "I must say, Malcolm," "I had no idea you were such a passionate man." "Neither had I." "Tonight?" "Well, I would, but I have to go to my new house." "It's terribly boring, but I'm doing an inventory." "Oh?" "The contents need to be valued by a dealer, you see." "You should have said." "Yes." "I have an old friend who's in the business." "You have to be jolly careful, you know." "Some of these dealers run the most dreadful racket." "Oh, really?" "Yes." "Especially if you're not au fait with antiques." "I wouldn't know a Ming vase from a Greek urn." "Well, then Hugo's your man." "Well, do you think he'd mind?" "Not in the least." "Leave it to me." "And then, after he's gone, perhaps we could pick up where we left off last night." "Oh, Malcolm!" "DI:" "It's getting late, enough of that." "If you just do the rest of these tables and then, um... just do the servery and the careers office." "Arun?" "(SOBBING)" "What's wrong?" "Nothing." "I'm just homesick." "Listen, the first few weeks in prison are always the worst." "It's not going to get any better." "Did someone hurt you, Arun?" "If you don't say, I won't be able to help." "You can't bloody help." "No one can." "Listen, love, whatever you tell me is in the strictest confidence." "Yeah, right." "Do you think I'm an idiot?" "Okay." "If you're not going to tell me, I'll have to guess what's going on." "Natalie Buxton." "I'm right, aren't I?" "You wouldn't be the first girl she's harmed, and you won't be the last unless you speak up." "If this is what I get before I say anything then what can I expect after?" "You poor girl." "I promise you, Mr Fenner will take action immediately." "You must be joking." "He's only going to tell Natalie who grassed her up." "No, he'd never do that." "He told her about Janine." "And Natalie can do what she wants because she's his favourite, isn't she?" "And everyone knows it." "Mr Fenner doesn't have favourites." "Believe what you want." "But if you tell him what happened to me, I'm just going to deny it." "Well, we're better off in the salon than in the servery." "That's the pissing problem, Ju." "It ain't no salon." "Two crap chairs, a pair of scissors in a prison cell." "A bloody corpse wouldn't want their hair cut in there." "Yeah, but I just thought, you know, give us something to get stuck into." "I'm sorry, Ju." "I should never have got me bleeding hopes up in the first place." "Please, Ju, give it a chance, eh?" "Can't never give up our hopes, can we?" "And it's been a long time since we've had anything to look forward to." "Cheer up, ladies." "What am I saying?" "Of course." "You two have got a salon to be happy about, haven't you?" "(DI CLEARING THROAT)" "Arun Parmar." "She's been bullied by Buxton, but she won't admit it." "How do you know what's going on?" "Read her mind, did you?" "The girl is too scared to point the finger." "Scared of what?" "We will make a go of it, mate." "Really?" "Yeah." "Bleeding cancer might come back and beat me, but I ain't gonna let Fenner." "Rumour has it that that tart Buxton is your favourite." "So she gets to hear if anyone's grassing her up." "Jesus, Di, I..." "Don't get annoyed with me." "I'm just telling you what G-Wing think." "I mean, you can see their point of view." "She lands a cosy job in a library as a reward for robbing those girls." "And I told you, that's why I gave her the job in the library, to keep her out of trouble." "Yeah, well, it's not working, is it?" "I've seen the evidence." "Arun's covered in bruises." "Well, unless she makes a complaint, there's sod all I can do about it." "You can take Buxton off that job." "On what, hearsay?" "Look, Di..." "She needs taking down a notch or two." "The way she is around you, fluttering her bloody eyelashes." "But why get jealous?" "Don't you trust me?" "Of course I do." "I need to know you believe in me, especially at a time like this." "I mean, this counsellor might mess up my head tonight, and I'm going because you want me to." "Now, what does that say to you, eh?" "I know." "I'm sorry." "You ought to watch your stress levels, love." "Time for your induction." "Ah, that looks great, Ju." "Yeah." "We could cover these and all." "Get some nice material." "We'll make this work." "Show Fenner, eh?" "Too bloody right we will, mate." "Right, what else do we need?" "Now, we got conditioner, towels, hairdryer," "brushes..." "Scissors." "So we can stab the murdering bastard through the heart." "If only, eh?" "(FENNER GROANING)" "It comes from years of experience, sir." "I'll say." "It seems as though wifey's not been seeing to your needs." "What?" "Well, it didn't take you very long, did it?" "Signs of a frustrated man, if you ask me." "You've only been married a few weeks." "Shouldn't you be filing books?" "Oh, don't you worry, sir." "I've got big ideas for this library." "And you have got more than just a clever pair of hands at your service." "So, beating me up wasn't enough, then?" "What?" "My crucifix." "You've stolen it, haven't you?" "I don't know what you're on about." "Well, I've just gone through my bag and it's not the only thing that's missing." "I bet if I asked Natalie, she'd know where my stuff was." "Why don't you give her these as well?" "Go on, take everything." "And if that's not enough... then come back and take my life, because I would rather be dead than beaten up." "Look, all Natalie wants is for you to stop being a grass." "So just learn your lesson." "Look what you did to me, Janine." "Look, I didn't want to, did I?" "I had to." "Otherwise it is me that's going to end up frigging dead." "I don't know how you can live with yourself." "Well, just piss off, then." "It's a sort of three-week nursing, kind of first aid course, and you can do that till we see what you can..." "Got some mental gossip." "Tell me now." "Swear you won't say nothing or I'm dead." "I swear, man." "I found a letter in Natalie's wash bag from Fenner." "Full of filthy stuff." "Says he wants to shag her brains out, do it to her every night, all night." "Miss, about what happened to me," "I was wrong not to report it, I think it will be worse if I don't..." "Not now." "What are you two talking about?" "Um, nothing, miss." "I heard you." "Something about a letter from Mr Fenner?" "Oh, miss, please don't say nothing." "Natalie don't know I've seen it." "Miss, please!" "She'll flip!" "Where is it?" "What?" "Miss, stop it." "Don't!" "Got something to hide, Buxton?" "Stop it." "That's mine." "You give it to me." "Give it to me!" "You bitch!" "What was in that bloody letter?" "Why should I tell you?" "It's private." "You tell me!" "Wouldn't you like to know?" "She hit me." "Did you see that?" "She hit me." "Di, what the hell is going on?" "Buxton was winding me up." "Making out that you fancied her." "So you believed the little slag and slapped her in front of the whole wing?" "What's wrong with you, Di?" "I just lost control." "Well." "You just pissed away your chance of becoming principle officer." "I'm going to have to suspend you." "What?" "It's not that I want to, I have to." "After all I did to save you?" "You could be back in that prison being gangbanged!" "Di, listen..." "No, you listen!" "You did 1 0 times worse than me and got your promotion." "Now you'd better help me get mine, or else!" "So, what are you going to do to me, then?" "Tell the police you falsified evidence to frame an innocent man?" "Get real." "You have no idea the damage I could do to you." "But if you want to push me over the edge..." "Look, just calm it, will you?" "Look, it's both our jobs on the bloody line here." "Well, I can't have Area thinking I'm giving you special treatment." "No." "It's Buxton who thinks she's getting special treatment." "So it's her we got to sort out, right?" "Persuade her to back off." "But I can't do that until you're willing to put up your hands and go through due process." "Prove to everyone that it was a one-off." "It was." "Fine, then." "Now, you go back home." "I'll memo Grayling and tell him there's been an incident but I'm sorting it." "Well, you better had, then." "So, we're a team, yeah?" "Yeah." "Oi." "They'd better sack that bitch for what she did to me." "She didn't do that much damage, your mouth's still working." "I'll sue the shit out of her." "You saw what happened and so did everybody else." "Nutter like that shouldn't be in charge of women." "Yeah, man." "Tell him." "In fact, I want to know why the police haven't been called." "Because if I was just assaulted on the streets, they would have been." "Yeah." "Oh, but I forgot." "Us cons, we don't matter, do we?" "Mr Fenner is dealing with the incident." "Bollocks!" "It's his wife, innit?" "Bastards!" "Yeah!" "Oh, it's so beautiful." "Thank you." "Often flowers are easier than words to express one's feelings." "I'll be off now." "I sometimes wonder who's got more rights, us or the flaming cons." "I'll soon be back." "Course." "Jim'll fix it." "Did you see her face?" "And theirs were so happy." "I forbid you to feel guilty again." "Once is quite enough for one day." "Now, let's go and see this new house of yours." "Right, that's it, ladies, end of work." "Come on back to your wings." "Come on, move it." "Thanks, love." "What the hell do you think you're playing at, Buxton?" "Excuse me?" "Do you think you're doing me a favour, pissing my wife off?" "I didn't do anything." "She hit me." "'Cause you've been going out of your way to provoke her." "Right, so now she's blaming me." "Look, why would I want to make her jealous?" "Well, if you don't, you'd just better sign this statement." "Saying it was all a misunderstanding." "Full stop, end of." "Right, but I've already spoken to my solicitor." "You what?" "He's told me my rights, and I'm going to press charges." "Jesus Christ!" "Well, you'd just better call him back and call it off." "Quick, come on." "Since when was it part of our deal that I have to let your wife slap me about?" "She can go to hell." "Psycho bitch!" "Wouldn't it be more fun to have a weekend of freedom rather than taking Mrs Fenner to court?" "And how is that?" "Well, you...you deserve a little treat." "I'll get you a licence for temporary release." "Be our way of saying sorry." "Only the weekend?" "That's the max I can do." "Right." "But I still think my solicitor's going to want Mrs Fenner to make a more public apology." "You'll get it." "So long as you make that call, now." "Good." "Come on." "DARLENE:" "Anyone would think this bitch have a man waiting for her out there." "Just fancies herself, doesn't she?" "Sir?" "What?" "I thought Mrs Fenner might have told you about what Natalie did to me?" "She said you refused to report it." "I've changed my mind." "Have you, now?" "Well, Mrs Fenner also told me that you said some bollocks about Buxton being my favourite." "Any more of that and you'll be the one on report." "Didn't mean that I believed it, sir." "Just that's what Natalie makes out that she is." "But I don't want to cause any more trouble." "You know what?" "I've always thought you were a nice girl, Arun." "You keep your nose clean, cooperate, no more worries, yeah?" "Thank you, sir." "SYLVIA:" "Here it is on the left." "Whoops!" "Sorry." "What do you think?" "Very nice." "NATALIE:" "And it's just for the weekend so we'd better make the most of it." "What do you mean, he's left for the day?" "I'll let you know a time and a place as soon as I can." "Just tell Clive to get ready." "Okay." "Well, can you just tell him not to do anything on my case until I've spoken to him first?" "Yeah, right." "Well done." "Vast, isn't it?" "Don't know where I shall start on all the cleaning." "Simply full of interesting artefacts." "Your aunt must have been very well-travelled." "Goodness knows how and where she found half this clutter." "I'd rather not imagine." "She was... quite unconventional, if you get my drift." "Spinster, wasn't she?" "Oh, by choice." "I should think it could get quite lonely rattling around in here all on one's own." "(KNOCKING ON DOOR)" "Shall I?" "Oh, please." "Hugo, do enter." "Good to see you, Malcolm." "Now..." "Sylvia." "Nice to meet you." "I feel I know you already." "Malcolm's been most effusive about you." "Quite unlike himself." "You've been talking about me." "He's exaggerating." "First woman I've heard him spout soppy nonsense about the whole time I've known him, which leads me to conclude you must be extraordinarily special." "Hugo." "It's all true." "But I'm embarrassing him." "I'd better stop." "Sherry?" "Then the vas deferens, these little tubes here, are cut and cauterised to prevent the sperm, hectic little chappies that they are, from being ejaculated." "General anaesthetic job, is it?" "No, local." "Only takes about 20 minutes or so." "Any sign the old sack's been tampered with?" "With the no-scalpel method there's only one small puncture." "The bruising and the swelling, that's usually minimal." "Great." "Do you have a partner or a wife?" "No, I'm divorced." "That makes it nice and simple." "So just how effective is this operation, then?" "Oh, very." "Well, the success rate is 99.8°/, to be exact." "I'll give you some literature to take home with you." "Oh, there's no need for that." "When can you book me in?" "Oh, how did you get on?" "Not bad." "You could make a modest sum on a fair few of these items." "When you say modest..." "The trouble is you got a lot of reproduction pieces here." "They look Victorian or Edwardian but in fact they were actually manufactured post-war." "Oh, I see." "But we'll do our best for you." "You can count on that." "And Hugo, cautious though you invariably are," "I'm sure you can guarantee Sylvia more than enough to spare her own fair hands the toil of keeping this place clean." "Oh, I think you could say my definition of modesty would cover the cost of a Mrs Mop or two, Malcolm." "Well, that's me feeling like a millionairess already." "Oh, um... may I?" "Please." "Oh!" "Auntie Margaret certainly had a taste of her own." "I have to look at enough naked women at work." "Look, I've got my van here." "I could relieve you of some of the smaller pieces tonight." "Send my chaps round for the rest tomorrow." "The sooner I'm shot of the lot, the better." "SYLVIA:" "How quickly do you think they'll sell?" "Well, if I could predict that, I'd have retired years ago." "Rest assured, dear lady, I'll do my utmost to get you the best possible price that I can, with a small percentage for myself." "Helpful as always." "INTERVIEWER: (ON RADIO) What did they used to say to you, Henry?" "Well, without being too obtuse about it, I mean, the normal slang words and..." "Hardly slept." "That's not surprising." "Buxton will love that I've been suspended." "Oh, just forget about her." "Stick the telly on, feet up, relax." "At least somebody's in a good mood." "Yeah, well, you can thank my counsellor for that." "Yeah, well, it was me suggested you go and see him." "And I'm very grateful." "Anyway, I'm off to get your job back." "Yeah, well, maybe I don't feel so bad 'cause I've done you favours in the past." "Big ones." "I know." "I know." "I'll get this sorted." "I promise you." "I wonder, do you have any more of those delicious doughnuts?" "Oh, I'm fond of a doughnut meself sometimes." "Sugary on the outside and all gooey in the middle." "Oh, you know how to keep me sweet, don't you?" "Well, I know what to do with me chocolate éclair, all right." "Oh, you naughty..." "There." "More tomorrow, then?" "Well, here's hoping." "(CRASHING)" "Promise you won't tell anyone else?" "See you again tomorrow." "Right, as you've no doubt heard, Di has been suspended temporarily." "Any idea how long?" "Not yet." "But one thing I do know is that we mustn't let this incident knock our confidence." "'Cause we're a bloody good team, yeah?" "Yeah." "And allegations from the likes of Buxton are what we pay our union dues to protect us from." "It isn't just an allegation." "I saw Di slap her." "Well, obviously there'll be a full investigation, Colin." "But Dr Nicholson has already examined Buxton and found no injuries." "So let's not give the inmates cause to give us any more grief." "Right, unlock." "Di had better hope that Buxton doesn't press charges." "I'll not miss that monstrosity." "I'd rather stare at that grubby space." "It is an acquired taste." "Yes, well, I've got a beautiful print that'll go in its place." ""Sunset in Torremolinos."" "Got it in 1 974." "A few more years, that'll be worth something." "Without a doubt." "Well, you can call me fussy, but I like to think of myself as discerning." "And once my furniture's in here this place will look totally different." "Yes, the house won't know what hit it." "Looking for something conventional, not too pricy." "How about that top one there, how much is that?" "1 50, sir." "Good God!" "Well, it's nine-carat gold, it's got..." "Oh, forget the pitch." "Much too expensive." "Well, we've got these." "Ah, yes." "Yes, that's more like it." "Only they're cubic zircon." "They're not real diamonds." "Yeah, but it's the sparkle, isn't it?" "I can't tell the difference." "Oh, do you know the size you'd like, sir?" "How big is a pork sausage?" "I don't know." "Fairly large." "That'll be £29.99." "I trust you'll throw in a presentation box." "You, uh, you get hold of your solicitor, yeah?" "Yeah, except that he wants to come in and see me face to face." "Make sure I'm not being pressurised into anything." "That's absolutely fine, except that..." "Except what?" "Well, this weekend out, I'd like you to be on escort duty." "You don't get to make the conditions here." "Well, either I do, or I get my solicitor to press charges." "Take your pick." "Oh, no." "Don't tell me I'm too late." "All done, I'm afraid." "Oh, damn traffic." "Did it go smoothly?" "Thank you." "Well, yes, but..." "But what?" "Oh, I don't know." "I've got a stack of admin, taking metre readings, changing the gas and electric to my name, not to mention unpacking." "There's no food in the house." "I don't even think the fridge is plugged in, and there's a bulb gone in the bedroom." "(SOBBING)" "It's okay, it's okay." "Sorry, I..." "I'm just not used to sorting things out by myself." "In the past my Bobby would take care of things, you see." "My dear Sylvia, I'll help." "Would you?" "You don't have to worry." "I'm here by your side, and I hope will be forever more." "Sylvia," "will you marry me?" "Oh!" "REPORTER:" "The savage murder of disabled 52-year-old Elizabeth Canning has sent shockwaves through not just the local community, but the entire country." "That's her." "It is!" "That's Laura Canning." "That's her who stabbed her mum 2 7 times." "No way." "SYLVIA:" "Born evil, that one." "COLIN:" "No one's born evil." "SYLVIA:" "Tell that to her poor mother and her sister." "God alone knows what she's done with her." "She's alive." "Isn't she?" "I want to go blonde like Natalie." "What?" "What?" "(SCREAMING)"