"SUBTITLES BY LUIS-SUBS" "[UPBEAT ROCK PLAYING]" "Rockin'." "[BELCHES] Trick or treat!" "[LAUGHS]" "You're just disgusting." "And turn that noise down!" "Don't you dare, bitch, get off that!" " Hey, Stooge." " What?" "Check out the old fart." "All right, dude!" "Stooge is hellin' him." "Make yourself useful, okay?" "Take the wheel." "Ahh!" "[HONKING]" "Hey, Grandpa, look in the mirror!" "You stupid bastards!" "Damn you all to hell!" "Happy Halloween, asshole." "[LAUGHING]" "Damn kids." "[DOG BARKING IN DISTANCE]" "There's no fool like an old fool." "You son of a bitch!" "Hey, hey, cool it, pops." "You want to blow your pacemaker or somethin'?" "[GIGGLING] [SQUEAKING]" "[GROANS IN FEAR]" "Gee, mister, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." "Get your hands off of me!" " Hey, calm down." " Get away from me!" "I..." "I was just trying to help." "I don't need your help, you damn little whore!" "Well fine, I wouldn't want to help an old creep like you anyway." "Damn rotten kids." "They'll get what they deserve." "Yes, they'll get what they deserve tonight." " Judy." " Sorry, Mom, I'm in a hurry." "Has Jay Jansen called?" "Jay, no." "Oh, but that boy Sal, he stopped by to see if your were home." " Sal?" " Uh-huh." "[PHONE RINGING] I'll get it." "Hello, Jay?" "Hey, Judy, you almost ready to go?" "Um, not quite." "I got stuck after school helping Mrs. Evans out with that drive for the homeless." "I told you that was a scam." "Well, someone has to do it." "Well, listen, there's been a slight change of plan for tonight." "Wh... what do you mean?" "I've got a better party to go to." "Does this mean I should find another date for the dance?" "[SCOFFS] Of course not." "Hey, I thought you'd be happy to go to a real party." "That school dance is for nerds." "Oh, okay, sure, why not?" "Who's giving it?" "I don't know if you know her, her name's Angela." "Angela?" "No, the only Angela I know is that weird girl in history class." "Well, as a matter of fact..." "Jay, you've gotta be kidding." "Angela is such a weirdo." "Frannie says she's into witchcraft and all sorts of creepy stuff." "Come on, you don't believe all that, do you?" "It's a bunch of crap." "Just a lonely old misfit trying to get some attention by acting weird, that's all." "So, why in the world would you want to go to her party then?" "Because it's Halloween." "Who do you know that'll give a better party?" "It's like Christmas to her." "Do we have to?" "Come on, Max and Frannie are going." "It'll be fun." "Oh, all right, I guess so." "[SCOFFS] I can't wait to meet her family." "She probably lives in a belfry." "Well, it's..." "it's not at her house." "It's at Hull House." "Hull House?" "Jay." "Pick you up in 20." "[DIAL TONE]" " [ROARS] - [SHRIEKS]" "Wow, bodacious boobies, sis." "You keep growin' you'll have to hire someone just to tie your shoes." "Ooh, out!" "[DOORBELL CHIMES]" "I'll get it" "Uh!" "[OWL HOOTS IN DISTANCE]" "[CREAKING]" "[DOGS BARKING IN DISTANCE]" "Boo!" "[LAUGHS] I wish I had a camera." "You looked like you dropped a load, Junior." "Hey-hey, cool it, squirt." "Who do you think you are, Rocky Balboa?" "Let me go, creep!" "Sure." "Now go tell that pretty little piece you call your sister that handsome hunk Sal is here." "And tell her I brung my pet snake for her to play with." "Judy's gettin' ready for a date, butt hole." "If I were you, I'd get outta here before he shows up and turns your ugly face into a punching bag." "Don't give me that shit, punk." "Go get your sister before I lose my cool." "What's the matter, you didn't hear what I said, bozo?" "Let me go or I'll yell for my mom." "Aww, go on, baby." "What's the matter, you can't take a joke?" "Now, go get your sister." "Judy's gettin' dressed." "She's goin' to a party." "Party, what party?" "Wouldn't you like to know." "Oh, you little asshole." "Oh, Mother!" "Hey, hey. hey, hey." "Come on spill the beans, ace." "Here, here's a nice chunk of change to loosen your lips a little." "Are you kidding, betray my beloved sister for a measly quarter?" "What do you think this is, some kind of depression or something?" "Oh, that does it." "[FEMALE] Billy, did you call me?" "Hey, hey, hey, this is my final offer, kid." "Now take it and sing." "Where's the friggin' party?" "Sure, you'll be too chicken to crash it anyway." "Hey, try me." " It's at Hull House." " Hull House?" "Huh!" "What are trying to pull, Shorty?" "Your sister wouldn't be caught dead in a dump like that." "What do you think I am, some kind of idiot or what?" "What I think is besides the point." "Hull House tonight." "Better be straight, Billy boy." "Or I swear I'm gonna come back here and kick your little ass." "[CHUCKLES]" "Hey, my mask." "Yeah, thanks a lot." "[WHISPERS] Fag." "[VIDEO GAME BEEPING]" "[WHISTLING]" "[VIDEO GAME BEEPING CONTINUES]" "Do you guys have sour balls?" "Why, sure we do." "Too bad, I bet you don't get many blowjobs." "[DING]" "[LAUGHING]" "You think you got enough stuff?" "Come on, we don't want to be late to our own party." "Come on, your face looks fine." "I've never seen anybody spend more time in a mirror." "Relax, I just want to look good for the boys." "You did remember to invite some cute boys to the party I hope." "Of course I did." "And we're gonna scare the shit out of 'em." "[RAPPING]" "[BILLY] Cutie, Prince Charming's here." "[SCREAMING ON TV]" "Well, you must be Judy's little brother, huh?" "Huh, that's pretty lucky." "She's, uh, she's a real nice girl." "Yeah, are you dating her for her personality or because she has big cha chas?" "Well, hello there." " You must be Jay." " Yeah." "Would you like a fudge log?" "Oh, gee..." "Hey, I'd love to, but I'm trying to watch my weight." "Oh, your weight..." "you must be kidding." "You're skinny as a rail." "Oh, come on, Jay, don't be shy." "Have one..." "I just took 'em out of the oven." "No thanks, Mrs. Cassidy, really." " You're sure." " Yeah." "Of course, he's sure, Ma." "Why would he want one?" "They look like sun-dried poodle turds." "Billy." "Why me?" "Hey, you look great." "You're the best bride of Frankenstein I ever saw." "Jay, I thought you were gonna wear a costume." "Well, I was, but I..." "He is, he's the boogeyman." "Can't you tell?" "He's the pick of the litter." "Billy, please." "Happy Halloween, sweetheart." "Um, we better hurry." "Uh, yeah, Max and Frannie are waiting." "Good night, girls, have a nice time." "Enjoy the dance." "God, I'm so embarrassed." "My mom and her cereal box recipes." "Hey, forget it." "Come here." "Jay, slow down, okay?" "Yeah, right, sure, we've got all night." "Come on." "Whoever drew up this map must have been half blind and half retarded." "Sounds like Angela." "Dizzy fuckin' bitch, man." "Stooge, did you become an asshole of your own free will or were you born that way?" " [LAUGHS]" " Did you hear somethin' funny?" "I don't know why I'm hangin' out with you two wipes." " Give me that damn map!" " Hey!" "Great, Stooge, now look what you've done." " Typical." " Typical!" "Shut up and drive, bitch!" "Look here..." "turn here!" "Well, if the party's a real drag, we can always come back to my house." "Here they come." "Well, thank God you two have the Halloween spirit." "At least I won't be the only one wearing a costume." "Oh, you didn't really expect to see Jay in a costume." "Jay's way too cool for that." " [GIRL GIGGLING] - [JAY] Just get in the car, Max." "[CAR STARTS]" "Great." "Just great." "You know, I always wondered why they called you Stooge." "Hey, look, I said I always carry a spare." "I never promised you a tire iron." "You know, we really must have taken a wrong turn somewhere." "No one would give a party out here." "Look, we definitely did not take any wrong turns, okay?" "I know where Hull House is." "It ain't far from here." "So, shut up and start walkin'!" " Great." " Walk?" "Are you fat and dumb?" "Hey, here comes a car." "Must be my good karma." " [HONKS] - [STOOGE] All right, Jay buddy!" "You got here just in time, dude." "You guys need a hand?" "We sure do." "See ya." "I'm so glad I let you guys talk me into this." "Shouldn't we at least help them change their tire?" "For Chrissakes, Judy, it's only a flat tire." "I think even Stooge can figure that one out." "Hey, there it is, stop the car." "[FRANNIE] This place was once a funeral parlor, wasn't it?" "[MAX] Yeah, biggest one in four counties." "A funeral parlor, way out here?" "Sure, it's nice and cozy, right next to the old cemetery." "And rumor has it, old man Hull really loved his clientele..." "I mean, in the carnal sense." "Yeah, that doesn't surprise me." "I once saw a portrait of Mrs. Hull." "[FRANNIE] I've heard stories about this place ever since I was a kid." "The Hull family met a pretty gruesome end, didn't they?" "They sure did." "As a matter of fact, it was on Halloween night." "One of them went crazy and slaughtered the entire family, then committed suicide." "They could never figure out who did it." "Too much blood and guts." "I can't believe we're gonna party here." "[SIGHS] Neither can I." "[BIRD CAWING]" "[JAY] Hell, that was easy." "Didn't even lock the gate." "[MAX] Yeah, the county used to keep this place locked up all the time." "Only the locks kept disappearing." "I guess they finally gave up." "[FANNIE] Well, it doesn't look like much of a party happening here." "[JUDY] Maybe we could still make the dance." "Max, what are you doing?" "I'm just checkin' out an old legend about this place." "Come here." "Judy, come here, will ya?" "Come here, listen." " Water." " Yeah, an underground stream." "According to legend, it completely surrounds the property." "This wall was built right on top of it." "A brick wall on top of an underground stream?" "Now, there's a stroke of engineering genius." "Well, the wall was built to mark the stream." "Uh, supposedly the evil spirits that haunt the land can't cross over running water or something." "Hey, can we go in now?" "It's getting kind of chilly out here." "Shh..." "listen." "What?" "I don't hear anything." "That's what I mean." "Isn't it quiet?" "Not even the crickets will come to this property. [LAUGHS]" "[JAY] Yeah, right, Max." "[RAPPING]" "[COUGHING] Oh, geez." "[FRANNIE] Somebody fire the maid." "[MAX] Yeah, somebody did." "The Hull family maid was killed along with the rest of them." "Someone managed to roast her." "[JAY] Great, barbecue maid." "No wonder she didn't keep the place clean." "[JUDY] Can we go home now?" "I guess not." "[JAY] Hey, you guys, check this out." "Oh, my God." "This must have been left here by previous tenants." "[HONKING]" "Okay, everybody hide... quick." "Get rid of your light." "Jay." "Come on, this is gonna be great, just relax." "Arrgh!" " You dirt bag." " Jay, no!" "Hey, who's side are you on?" "Who's side am I on?" "You're acting like an idiot." "You were just about to climb in there and scare somebody else." "Now are you going to punch out Sal just because he beat you to it?" "Yeah, yeah, lighten up, Jay-bo." "It's Halloween." "[AS DRACULA] Good evening, allow me to introduce myself." "Yeah, Count Dingleberry, the flaming asshole of Transylvania." "Aw, what's the matter, Maxie baby, you pissed because I made you lose your brewski?" "Hey, Angela didn't tell me this asshole was invited." "[FEMALE] He wasn't." "[CHUCKLES] All right, dudes!" "And dudesses." "[CHUCKLES]" "Let's party!" "[METAL ELECTRIC GUITAR RIFF]" "[UPBEAT ROCK PLAYING]" "Hey, Sal, where do you want this?" "Hello, Sal, come in, Sal." "Earth to Sal." "Hey, yo." "Where are we gonna put this thing, man?" "It weighs a fucking ton." "[UPBEAT ROCK PLAYING]" "[CRASHING]" "Thanks." "Oh, I wouldn't do that, if I were you." "Huh?" "I wouldn't leave that lighter lying there." "We wouldn't want the spirits to see you littering up their place." "Would we now?" "I'm sure they'll make a federal case out of it." "Oh, have it your way." "Oh, this feels great, really." " Uhh." " Just what the doctor ordered." "What'd the wicked witch of the West want?" " She trying' to scare ya?" " Of course." "So, did she do it?" "Are you kidding?" "I'm not a baby." "That's the spirit." "Here, Max, this ought to cool you down a little." "Thanks, babe." "Oh, how sweet." " Far fucking out!" " All right!" "Whew!" "I found it in my mother's closet." "She used to be an acid head." "Whoa!" "Now we're cooking it up." "[MUSIC DISTORTS]" "[GRUMBLING]" "Holy shit." "Haven't you idiots ever heard of Duracell?" "Hey, look, don't blame me, man." "I just put batteries in the damn thing this morning." "[SOBS] I can't live without my music." "Forget it, there's plenty of time for dancing later." "Now it's time for party games." "Yeah, we can play post orifice and you can be the stamp." "[MAKES SLURPING SOUND]" "Please don't make me ill." "I was thinking of something a bit more in tune with the holiday." "Like what, bobbing for apples with razor blades in 'em?" "No, I was thinking more along the lines of a séance." "A séance?" "Isn't that a little chancy?" "I mean, this is Halloween... the night when all the creepy things are supposed to stalk the Earth." "I mean, there's no telling what we'll dredge up, especially in this old place." "Hey you guys, how about a past life séance?" "A what?" "A past life séance." "You know, we all sit around, look in a mirror, and see our past lives." "What kind of drugs are we gonna need for this?" "[LAUGHING]" "Cool, will this do?" "I'm afraid not, Suzanne, we need one we can all look into at once." "[EERIE VOICE-LIKE SOUND]" "What the hell was that?" "I don't know, buddy, let's go check it out." "Hey, hey, Stooge, hey man, cut it out now." "[STOOGE] Oh, come on, Rodg, now don't be afraid." "[CLAMORING]" "Come on, Rodg, be a man." " No, Stooge!" " Yes, Rodg!" "[SCREAMING]" "Are you okay?" "What's the matter, Rodg, you're white as a ghost." "Hey kids, you're not going to believe what I found in here." "Oh, it's perfect." "I can't believe our luck." "[JUDY] Maybe this isn't such a good idea after all." "Well, don't tell me you're afraid too." "[STOOGE GROWLS]" "Come on, it's just a mirror, what harm can it do?" "It's really very simple." "You just keep staring at my reflection in the mirror until the glass clouds up all black." "When it clears, we'll see what I looked like in a past life." "Sounds easy enough to me." "Yeah, right, and if you buy that," "I got this real nifty bridge to sell ya." "[ANGELA] Everybody shut up." "Now, concentrate on my reflection in the mirror." "[LAUGHING]" "Concentrate." "I'm trying to, Ang, but I can't get past that zit on your chin." "[LAUGHING]" "Shut the fuck up, asshole." "If you're not going to help us along, then get lost." "Okay, now concentrate." "Concentrate." "Holy shit." "You idiot, it was just starting to work." "It was, I swear I saw the mirror turning black." "Hey, I saw it too." "[SCREAMING]" "[CRASHING]" " Jeez." " Why the hell did you do that?" "What is wrong with her?" "Festerin' fuckwads, uh!" "You cannot take this bitch anywhere, man!" "[WHIMPERS]" "What happened, Helen, what's the matter?" "[WHIMPERING] I saw something in the mirror." "Saw what in the mirror?" "Oh, jeez, this bitch has flipped." "Shut up, Stooge, you're not helping matters!" " [WHIMPERING]" " What?" "[HYSTERICAL CRYING]" "Probably saw Sal in that stupid mask." "I wasn't wearing my mask." "Oh, God, that's even worse." "It doesn't matter what she saw, does it?" "If she saw anything." "It looks like our little game is over." "Yeah, I just hope Helen didn't piss off the owner of the mirror." "Ow." "I was only kidding." "[POUNDING IN THE DISTANCE]" "Oh, no, here we go again." "Relax, it's probably just someone arriving late." "You guys did invite some other people to this party?" "Angela?" "Some cute boys, I hope." "[RUSTLING]" "It sounds like it's coming from the basement." "[RUSTLING LOUDER]" "[GROWLING]" "[GROWLING, BREATHING]" "God, it's freezing in here." "Never mind the draft, man, who cut the cheese?" "Oh, P.U., that is rank." "Stooge must be wearing his mom's dirty panties again." "Hey, man, as least my old lady wears panties." "His just wears a coin changer for sailors." "Your mom couldn't give it away." "God, man, it smells like somebody died in here." "[ANGELA] I don't like what's happening here." "[FEMALE] What do you mean?" "[MALE] I know what she means." "Like, come on, this ain't exactly the most happenin' party" "I ever been to, okay?" "What do you mean, Angela?" "Those noises that we heard, there were three of them." "And that awful stink and then the chill." "[FRANNIE] It's not cold now." "Must have been a draft." "Well, maybe somebody did come in." "[FEMALE] The odor's gone too." "But we all experienced them... the noise, the stink, and the chill." "They're all signs of demonic infestation." "Demonic what?" "Demonic whatchamacallit." "I mean, come on!" "Little Ang here is just trying to put the old woo on us, okay?" "Yeah, Ang, I'm sure you're right, okay?" "Or could it be that Rodg here just had too much cold beer and blew us a cool, stiff breeze right out of his butt hole?" " [FARTING NOISE] - [LAUGHING]" "I don't care what you all think." "My daddy was a preacher." "And I know better than to be in here fooling with this stuff." "This is a house of the dead." "And I'm gettin' out now before it's too late." "Wow, hey, take a look at that." "What is that?" "It smells like roses." "Hey, you know, I think we're smelling multiple ghosts here." "I've read about things like this." "[FLAPPING] [FARTING NOISE]" "That is something, Max..." "I never knew you could read." "No, really, Stooge, I'm not kiddin'." "I read all the time." "Would you listen to me?" "They're not ghosts." "This house is not haunted, it's possessed." "[STOOGE LAUGHING] Possessed, man, haunted... come on!" "Who gives a shit!" "What's the difference between possessed and haunted?" "A haunted house is a house with ghosts in it... the spirits of people who've died." "But the spirits living in a house possessed have never existed in human form." "They've only existed in spirit form." "They're pure evil." "They're demons." "[LAUGHING] Kids, come on, you can't really believe this place is possessed?" "Nah, just repossessed." "[LAUGHING]" "[MASCULINE VOICE] For tonight anyway." "Maybe Rodger's right." "Maybe we should leave." "Aw, come on, let's hang out." "Yeah, eat a bowl of fuck!" " [LAUGHING]" " I am here to party." " [CHEERING]" " Me too." "Just because one lame wuss wants to bail, doesn't mean we ace this party." "I want to go too." "We'll need a ride." "[CHUCKLING] Hey, don't look at me, pal, my cruiser's sittin' in a ditch two miles from here, huh?" "Hey, you know, you could spend the night in it, though, if you wanted to." "Oooh. [CHUCKLES]" "Here, Rodg, take Angie's car." "Hey, what the fuck do you think you're do..." "Chill out, hon." "It's your party, you ain't goin' anywhere." "Thanks Suzanne." "Don't mention it." "I don't care if you're a chicken shit." "Just remember to open the gate before you drive through it." "[LAUGHING]" "[MALE] Bye Rodg." "Drive carefully, you guys." "Let's party." " [HOOTS]" " Yeah." "Yeah, well you guys can count us out." "Judy and I have some exploring to do." "[MAX] Yeah, great idea." "Let's see what kind of action we can dig up in this glorious old dump, huh, cutie?" "I don't know, Jay." "Oh, come on, Judy." "Who knows, maybe we'll be able to find a little privacy." "Hey, we'll check you guys out later." "Don't do anything stupid while we're gone, huh?" "Yeah, right, you all say hi to Casper for me. [CHUCKLES]" "Well, this party's gettin' down to the cream now." "I think I'm gonna go find the bathroom." "Mm, good idea, I'll go too to protect ya." "Oh, no thanks, I'd rather take Stooge." "Stooge?" "Hey, you heard the lady, man." "She wants a real man guarding' her charms." "Stooge is a fat pig." "Maybe I'm in the mood for pork tonight." "[SHORTS]" "[CREAKING]" "I'm into all sorts of things tonight." "I'll tell you what, babe, I'll hold yours, if you hold mine." "I don't fuckin' believe this." "[DOOR CREAKS]" "[FRANNIE LAUGHS]" "Jeez." "Hey, you know what?" "This reminds me of a great story." "You know, I think we've heard enough stories for one night." "No, come on, let's hear it." "All right, but only because you asked." "[SCOFFS]" "Oh, God, this one better be it or I'm gonna water the hallway." " No, try this one." " What?" "Well, all right, Suzie-Q!" "How did you know this?" "Ladies before germs." "No, wait, um..." "I thought... well, I thought maybe we might could go in there together?" "Huh?" "Fuckin' party." "Whoa, Jesus!" "Fuck!" "Shit!" "Shit!" "Yeah, but even before the first white settlers colonized this area, this strip of land already had a bad rep." "Sure, Max." "Mm-mm..." "For centuries, the ancient Indian tribes that used to live around this area would never set foot on this side of the underground creek." "Even back then, they said the land was unclean." "Right, Max." "And I suppose the ghost of an ancient Indian told you that." "No, Mrs. Porter down at the library gave me a book that one of the earlier settlers wrote." "I mean, you cannot believe all the cool shit that used to go down here." "Yeah, especially since they didn't have any indoor plumbing, right?" "No, really." "A young brave got lost and settled here with his family by mistake." "Anyway, they found him three weeks later sitting under a tepee he made out of his squaw's intestines and chewing on the leg of his papoose." "Oh, gross." "I've never heard so many disgusting stories in all my life." "Oh, um, you know, I think it's time that, you know, Frannie and I did some exploring on our own." "Happy Halloween." "Happy hunting." "Yeah, this place is big enough." "I'm sure we'll find somethin' interesting to do, right?" "[SQUEALS]" "[LAUGHING]" "Well, Alice, looks like we're all alone in Wonderland." "Well, what gives?" "Not here, Jay." "What do you mean, "not here?"" "This place, it's..." "it's too creepy." "Well, that's the whole idea." "You're supposed to be jumping into my arms." "Just hold me." "[SIGHS]" "Where the fuck is the God damn gate?" "We came in through a gate, didn't we?" "This just doesn't make sense." "Give up already." "Give up?" "Now, what kind of talk is that?" "There was a gate here." "And if we just keep following this damn wall, we're bound to find it." "Look, we've already been around it twice." "Don't you understand, Rodg?" "We're dead." "We've all died and gone to hell." "What are you talking about?" "Are you goin' crazy on me, girl?" "Look, if that's all that's on your mind, you just better shut that mouth of yours." "Shit!" "Hell, my ass!" "There is a gate here." "There is!" "Oh, sweet mother." "Helen?" "Helen!" "This isn't funny, girl." "Helen?" "Where the hell did she go?" "[EERIE VOICE] Rodger." "Rodg." "Oh, heaven help me." "[GRUFF MALE VOICE] Rodger!" "Jay, hold it." "Judy, come on." "Quit the act, I know you've done this before." "What?" "I saw the way you jumped to Sal's aid." "Jay, what are you getting at?" "I know all about you two." "Oh, really." "What do you know?" "Nothing." "I just know that you used to date Sal, that's all." "Date him?" "I went out with him once." "Once is all it takes." "I don't understand why you're acting like this." "Half the school knows about you and Sal, so what's the big deal?" "Oh, so you think I slept with Sal just because I went out with him." "Didn't you?" "You know, that's none of your business." "[SIGHS]" "So, that's why you wanted to go out with me?" "Oh, come on, I thought you wanted it just as much as I did." "[GRUNTS]" "Jesus." "Fine, have it your way." "I'm outta here." "Jay, wait." "Come on, Jay." "[STOMPS] Jay." "Come on, Jay!" "Damn it, bitch, come on." "[STOOGE] What'd you do, flush yourself down the fuckin' toilet, or what?" "Open the damn door already!" "[CRASHING]" "Suzanne." "What the fuck?" "[DRIPPING]" "[DOOR SLAMS] Jesus!" "Suzanne?" "Dizzy bitch." "[DOOR SHUTS]" "Hey, Ang, what the fuck are you doin' over there?" "[WIND HOWLING]" "Blessed be the sinners, for the day of atonement is at hand." "Say what?" "[PANTING]" "[UPBEAT MUSIC SWITCHES ON]" "[BAUHAUS PLAYING "STIGMATA MARTYR"]" "[CLICKING]" "Whoa, Sal, easy man." "A little jumpy, huh?" "Yeah." "Well, all right, now the party's back." "And so is Stoogie." "Hey, careful, man, she's actin' really fuckin' weird." "Don't worry, Sal, it ain't the weird ones you gotta watch out for." "God, didn't your mom teach you nothin' about women?" "Oh..." "[MUSIC STOPS]" "So, Ang, ya come here often?" "[CHUCKLES]" "[ANG LAUGHS]" "You know, Stooge, I never realized how sexy you are." "Kiss me." "Oh." "[CHUCKLES]" "[STOOGE GAGGING]" "[YELLING]" "[BUZZING]" "[DRIPPING]" "Suzanne, lights." "I'm fixing my face." "Aw, shit, not you too?" "What, is everybody here on drugs or somethin'?" "You know, you're a sweet lookin' babe, Suzanne, but you and your friend, Ang, are just a little too weirdo for me." "I can't seem to get it right." "No thanks, honey, I'm not that type of guy." "Good night, now, I'm going home." "You are home, Sal." "Un-uh, this dirty dive don't spell home to me." "I live in a nice house, you know, with plastic slip covers on the furniture." "Enjoy your lipstick, dollface." "Good night." "My word, I can't believe all this stuff is still here." "It's creepy in here." "Don't worry, I'll protect ya." "And who's gonna protect you?" "[MAX CHUCKLES]" "You know, I've never made it in a coffin before." "Me neither." "So, what are we waitin' for?" "[CHUCKLES]" "[MALE] Suzanne?" "What are you doing?" "Now, that's not a bad paint job." "But I think that it needs a little touching up." "Hey, when did the lights go on?" "Okay, forget the lights." "Hey, Ang, I'm splittin'." "Oh, there you are." "I was just warming my hands in the fire." "Holy shit!" "Leaving so soon?" "[KNOCKING, CREAKING]" "Jeez, what an asshole." "Stooge, I know that's you, man." "Only a fat slob like you could shake this car so much." "[SCREAMING]" "[HUMMING]" "Yeah." "All right." "Look at you." "Come here." "What are you looking at?" "What?" "Is my makeup okay?" "Are you crazy, what are you talkin' about?" "Stop staring at me." "Damn it, Suzanne, your makeup is fine." "Come on, what are you worried about?" "Uh!" "Jesus Christ!" "Stop looking at me!" "Uh!" "God damn it!" "[YELLING]" "[WHIMPERS]" "What was that?" "Uh, it's more party games." "Ow, Max, I don't bend that way." "Uh, shit." "Damn it, this is worse than my brother's VDub." "Hey, man, get the fuck outta here!" " [GRAMS] - [SCREAMING]" "No!" "No!" "No, Stooge!" "No, Stooge, no!" "Not... no!" "No, please." "[YELLING]" "[ANGELA] Welcome back, Rodger." "Uh!" "Sal, move!" "Something..." "It's Angela, man!" " She's... she's..." " Hey, I know, I know..." "I know there's some really weird shit going on around here." "Something happened to Helen." "What do you mean?" "[SOBBING] I don't know, man, I don't know." "Hey, hey, it's gonna be okay." "It's gonna be okay, man." "We're gonna get outta here, man." "We're gonna get outta here." "We're gonna get outta here." "[HEAVY BREATHING]" "[HEAVY BREATHING]" "Jay?" "Jay, is that you?" "Jay?" "Let me outta here." "[SAL] This way, come on, follow me." "Jay." "Come on." "I knew we shouldn't have come here." "We're never gonna get outta here, man." "Shut up, Rodg, shut up, I swear I'm gonna slug you!" " [KNOCKING]" " What's that?" "[JUDY] Help!" "Somebody get me outta here." "Hold it!" "How do we know it's really her?" "Come on..." "Judy?" "Get me out, Sal." "Please get me outta here." "Sure thing, Judy, stand back." "Wait!" "What if it's not her?" "Come on, Rodg, who else could it be?" "[HEAVY BREATHING]" "[GROANING]" " Come on, get up, Judy!" " I can't!" "I can't!" "Yes, you can!" "Come on!" "Hey, there's no boards on it." "[BUZZING]" "[SCREAMS]" "Hey, how 'bout an orgy?" "I'm sure if we try, we can get Jay hard again." "Run, Judy!" "Run, Judy, run!" "[ROARS]" "[SCREAMING]" "Run, Judy, run." "See Judy run." "[CREAKING]" "[SLAMS]" "[WHIMPERS]" "[SCREAMING]" "[GROANING]" "An air shaft?" "No wonder why there weren't any boards on the window." "Can't get the fuck outta here." "Thank heaven for water pipes." "[CREAKING]" "Rodger." "[ROARING] [SCREAMING]" "[ROARING]" "[SCREAMING]" "Judy!" "Judy." "Shh." "Judy, look out!" "[GRUFF MALE VOICE] Enjoying the view?" "Judy!" "[SCREAMING]" "[YELLING]" "[THUNK]" "[JUDY WHIMPERING]" "Oh, God, please don't let me fall!" "Judy, work your way over this way." "Come on, Judy." "Yeah, come on, just a little further." "[CRYING, WHIMPERING]" "I can't do it!" "Yes, you can!" "Come on, woman, do it!" "Don't look down, girl." "[SOBBING] Oh, Sal!" "Come on." "You're almost home." "God..." "Judy, hurry up!" "[SCREAMING]" "You all right?" "Yeah, I think so." "[GROWLING]" "[SCREAMING]" "Oh, don't tell me you're leaving?" "Sal wanted to go, but he decided to stick around." "[CHUCKLES]" "[GROWLING]" "[BOTH LAUGHING]" "[RODGER] Oh, God." "[RODGER SOBBING]" "Shh, Rodg, come on, it'll be all right." "Please don't cry." "We're gonna make it." "I know we're gonna make it." "You really think so?" "You already saved my life once tonight, didn't you?" "That had to be for something, right, Rodg?" "I guess so." "[JUDY] There's a door." "Look, Rodg." "Maybe we can get out." "A door?" "Yeah, look." "Judy, wait, don't!" "We can't wait, Rodg." "We gotta try." "There's no other way out." "First, let's pray." "My daddy, he told me how to pray real good." "Come on." "I've been praying all night, Rodg." "We gotta go now." "[CLUNK]" "My God, what is this?" "There's all this pipe running along the wall." "It's weird." " [WHIMPERS]" " What, what's wrong?" "It's an oven." "A what?" "It's an oven, Rodg." "This is a crematorium." "[BANGING] [GROWLING]" "[GROWLING]" "[GRUFF MALE VOICE] Open the door, Rodg." "We don't want you, we want the bitch." "You know we'd never hurt a nice little boy like you." "Go to hell, you dirty bastards!" "Well, not tonight, my boy." "Oh, no, not tonight." "Rest assured we've got something wonderful planned for you." "So much pain." "So much sorrow." "Did you hear what they said, Rodg?" "Not tonight." "They won't go to hell tonight because... because it's Halloween, right?" "That's why they won't go to hell tonight, right?" "Because it's the one night of the year they don't have to." "Remember what Helen said, Rodg?" "Didn't she say that tonight's a special night of evil?" "Remember?" "Didn't she say that tonight's the one night of the year when all things unclean are free to roam among us?" "Remember?" "That's what she said, Rodg, right?" "I think if we just hang out here until... till dawn, we'll be all right." "Yeah... yeah." "I bet you're right." "[CLICK] [FEMALE] Judy?" "[CLINK]" "Oh, dear God, no." "I warned you this house was possessed." "Didn't I?" "We can't let them get us, Rodg." "We can't give up, Rodg." "[CLINK]" "We've gotta find a weapon." "A Pipe." "[GROANING]" "[HISSING] Gas." "[YELLING]" "I can't stop it, Rodg, help me!" "Please come and help me!" "Find the valve, Rodg, the valve." "[YELLS]" "Rodger, wait." "[CLUNK]" "[DOORS CLOSING CONTINUES]" "Rodger." "We can't get out." "We can't get out." "Rodger." " Judy." " Oh, Jay, no." "Why hast thou forsaken me?" "[GRUFF MALE VOICE] What's the matter, Judy?" "Don't you like your blind date?" "[CRIES OUT]" "You won't get me!" "Rodger!" "I'm alive." "I'm alive." "Hey, we're out." "No, Rodg, we have to get past the wall." "We have to cross over the underground stream." " Where are you going?" " We have to get to the gate!" " There is no gate." " The gate's over here, Rodg!" "There is no gate, come on!" "[JUDY] Ow!" "Ow!" "[GRUFF VOICE] Rodger!" "[RODGER GROANING]" "Judy, give me your hand." "Come on." "[CRIES OUT]" "[GROWLING]" "Help me, Rodger!" "[SCREAMING]" "Judy, Rodger, where you going?" "The party's just begun." "[SCREAMING]" "Rodger!" "[SCREAMING]" "Help, Rodger, help!" "Rodger, help!" "Climb, girl, climb!" "[WIND BLOWING]" "[GROWLING]" "[YELLING]" "Rotten pig trash." "Been out all night, huh?" "[CHUCKLES]" "Eh, they'll all rot in hell." "Huh, kids." "Good morning, dear." "Yeah, what's so good about it?" "Better drink your coffee before it gets cold." "Eh." "Is it good, dear?" "Nah, it's okay." "Just okay?" "You used to love my homemade pies." "Homemade?" "When did you make this?" "I've been up for hours, sleepyhead." "I made it while you were getting your beauty rest." "Last night?" "There weren't as many trick-or-treaters last night." "Not like the good old days." "I had to do something with all those leftover apples." "I still can't understand why you buy so many." "Uh!" "[GROANING]" "Happy Halloween, dear."