"Woman:" "This is Forbes field in Pittsburgh, and this is our national pastime-- the game of baseball, as played by the Pittsburgh pirates." "[Laughter]" "I didn't know a thing about baseball." "My usual job was writing the household hints column on the ladies' page, but the paper was running a series of articles-- what's wrong with the pirates?" "The sports editor wanted the woman's angle." "All I knew was that Pittsburgh was losing." "This, I learned, was quite normal." "He's out!" "The manager of the pirates was a large man named Guffy Mcgovern who was always coming out to discuss things with the umpire." "I was too far away to hear, but he seemed upset, irritated, maybe even angry." "What's the matter with you?" "[Cursing unintelligibly]" "You hear me?" "All right, Guffy, watch your language, or I'll throw you out of the game." "There was certainly something wrong with the pirates." "Take that time when Cincinnati was batting and that pirate player got hit in the head with the ball." "That didn't seem right." "[Cursing unintelligibly]" "And later in the game, when the pirates were hitting and had a good chance to score, well, even I knew three runners on one base was too many." "You're out!" "You're out!" "Great!" "That's the first time you three guys have been together all season." "[Laughter]" "The score at the end of the game was Cincinnati, 21, Pittsburgh, 2." "You through, Jenny?" "I haven't even started." "How do you get a story out of that?" "Well, you hit them on a bad day." "Yeah." "Yeah." "They had a good one back in 1938." "Hey, maybe I should talk to Mcgovern, huh?" "Now?" "Well, yeah." "That's a wonderful idea." "Everybody should talk to Mcgovern at least once." "Well, how do I get down there?" "Well, you see that second tunnel down there?" "Yeah." "Go down through that." "The first door on the right is the entrance to the pirate clubhouse." "Oh, thanks, and thanks for letting me sit here." "Anytime." "And, Jen, give Guffy our best regards." "I will." "Bye." "Bye." "What a dirty trick." "So ends another holocaust in Forbes field, the pirates' exhibition of skill this afternoon reducing their standing to seventh place in the national league." "By the way, I'll not be with you for the balance of the season." "It seems in the course of my sportscasts," "I have somehow offended the great Guffy Mcgovern, alleged manager of the pirates." "Steps have been taken, and briefly, your announcer has been canned." "I'll still have my regular Tuesday night broadcast and Wednesday television, and I shall continue to call the plays as I see them." "This is Fred Bayles saying thank you, Guffy Mcgovern." "No, no, lady." "You can't go in there." "Press." "No." "Gangway." "Uh, Mr. Mcgovern, please." "Does he come out this way?" "When he's dressed, he does." "I'd like a story, so I think I'll wait." "Lady, he just lost a ball game 21-2." "He's unhappy." "You can't win all the time." "Guffy Mcgovern:" "I would like to say a few words about today's endeavor with the Cincinnatis." "Of all the..." "[Cursing unintelligibly]" "Personally, I think it was a waste of time to send me." "I don't know the game, and I haven't any story, but I can tell you what's wrong with the pirates, all right-- that Mcgovern person." "Of all the loudmouthed, offensive-- and all those nice, clean-cut young men and the way he bullies them." "No wonder they make mistakes." "Anybody would." "But if you ask me, the Pittsburgh pirates would be a lot better off without him, and so would the city of Pittsburgh!" "Hey, write it." "Write what?" "What you think about Mcgovern." "But he'd sue us." "Honey, compared to his real character, it'll read like a testimonial." "Do your worst, and let me see it when you're finished." "Well..." "Hi, Jen." "Hi." "Household hints." "Obituary department." "12 more people kicked off today." "How was the game?" "Anybody die out there?" "Just the pirates." "Listen to this" ""Ignatius A. Turnball, aged 77 years, passed away at his home today following a..."" "What a depressing job." "Think about me." "I have to write about Guffy Mcgovern." "Now, there's an obituary I'd like to handle." "Mr. Kirney must have liked the story." "He even put my byline on it" ""by Jennifer Paige, household hints editor."" "He wanted more of the same-- personal stuff about Mcgovern." "I realized I'd have to do a little sleuthing." "I found out where he lived-- one furnished room and kitchenette near the ballpark." "He had no known relatives, never any visitors." "Every morning about 11:00, he left for the field." "There were plenty of empty cabs cruising around, but Mcgovern wanted the one without the driver." "He would." "[Honking horn]" "Hail a cab!" "Hail a cab!" "This is the only hack in Pittsburgh?" "You like the color or something?" "You know the law, Sonny." "You're supposed to stay with your cab at all times." "Are you with it?" "Forbes field and make it snappy." "Aw, the bums don't start until 1:30!" "His afternoons were spent like this..." "[Cursing unintelligibly]" "The only place he was seen in public outside the ballpark was John's steakhouse." "They had the best steaks in town." "Medium rare." "Yeah." "I'm going over and talk to him." "You'll make a nice item tomorrow." ""Jennifer Paige, age 24, departed this world at approximately--"" "oh, stop." "I came here to corner him, didn't I?" "Well, there he is, cornered." "Waiter, a Brandy for the lady." "Yes, sir." "I'm Jennifer Paige." "Jennifer Paige." "I wrote that story about you this morning in the messenger." "You didn't read it?" "All I ever read is the box scores." "Well, I began this way..." "Quote" ""Aloysius X. Mcgovern," ""the evil-tongued orator of the baseball field" ""is a surly, unbred goat" ""whose mouth should be washed out regularly with a strong detergent."" "Don't ever call me Aloysius." "You're--you're not mad?" "Dogs have fleas." "Managers have sportswriters." "Oh, I'm not a sportswriter." "I do household hints for the ladies' page." "But I have a few facts and figures about your-- oh, don't put so much ketchup on your steak." "It spoils the flavor-- a few statistics that might be interesting." "For instance..." "Last season, Minelli had a batting average of .310." "This year he had .210." "Now, that's 100 points difference." "Doesn't that prove something?" "I'll have to speak to Minelli." "Cruickshank's average is way down, too--93 points, and Minden's and begg's, and it's the same right through the whole batting list." "Where'd you gather this information?" "Tim Durney helped me." "He's the obituary editor." "What do you hear from want ads?" "Well, I realize figures can be misleading, but when an entire team goes as sour as the pirates, well, I look around for a reason, and I look right at you." "Uh, what, uh, what-- what do you have to say, Mr. Mcgovern?" "What'd he say?" ""Boo"?" "Well, well, Guffy Mcgovern." "How are things in seventh place?" "Fine." "Fine." "What do you do with your afternoons now, junior?" "Thanks to you, I just signed a deal to broadcast for the giants, whom, as you may have heard, are leading the league." "Meanwhile, I'm just lying around thinking of things to say about you." "Why don't you catch me tonight?" "I'm on the air in an hour." "I can't wait." "I got a mission in life now, Guffy." "I'm going to run you out of this town, maybe right out of organized baseball." "You wouldn't do that." "Oh, yes, I would." "I'm a stinker." "Why don't we talk this over?" "Let's step in here a minute." "I got an exclusive for you." "[Thumping]" "[Punch]" "[Thud]" "* take me out to the ball game * * take me out to the... **" "before I say good night, I would like to reiterate..." "My opinions are those of an unbiased observer who has the best interests of baseball at heart." "There is nothing personal in my feud with Guffy Mcgovern." "Incidentally, don't look for me on television tomorrow." "[Crowd cheering]" "By asking questions, I began to learn baseball." "Question-- what is a balk?" "Answer-- see me tomorrow." "Question-- what is a rhubarb?" "Answer..." "[Shouting]" "He's out." "The man was out!" "The man was out!" "Get out, Mcgovern!" "You're out of the game!" "[Clapping in time to Mcgovern's footsteps]" "[Clapping stops]" "Boo!" "Boo!" "[Clapping in time to footsteps]" "Radio:" "And there you have it." "Final score--Cincinnati, 9, Pittsburgh, 0." "The pirates had a total of 3 hits, 7 errors." "The reds, 14 hits-- don't be so modest, Baxter." "You made two of those errors all by yourself." "Well, what's the matter, Mr. Minden?" "Did you think that was second base?" "Ah, I'm certainly proud of you athletes today." "Particularly you, Mr. Ronson, our schoolboy star, the pride of Milwaukee high." "But I worry about you, son." "You're going to catch a fly ball some of these days and knock out your front teeth." "Ah, Cruicksie." "Cruicksie, you were fine." "You didn't fall down once." "And here we have the famous Saul Hellman, our relief pitcher." "You fellas may not believe this, but Saul once pitched a two-hitter in a world series." "Of course, that was quite some time ago, but he's still in there pitching." "1 walk and 4 hits on 10 pitched balls." "Don't you think you're a little old for this pastime, Saul?" "You should have quit winners when you could still reach the plate." "Easy, Saul." "I'm glad for one thing-- today's game puts us in eighth place." "We can go no lower in this league." "We used to have a guy like that in the 3-i league once." "We used to put gunpowder in his cigarettes." "Hey, has Mcgovern always been like this?" "You knew him in the minors, didn't you, way back when?" "Well, what I mean is, you know, when you were first breaking in." "You can say it-- 16 years ago." "Oh, you've got plenty of stuff left." "Plenty." "Sure." "Where's my good luck piece?" "I put it in your uniform." "Well, where is it?" "Maybe you dropped it out on the field." "Of all the..." "[Cursing unintelligibly]" "Oh, shut up!" "What?" "Close your fat mouth." "I want to talk to you." "If that's some wise guy on the P.A. system," "I'll bust his snoot." "You'll bust nobody's snoot if you know what's good for you." "You've been busting snoots and polluting the air with your foul talk long enough, Mcgovern." "Frankly, we're fed up." "Do tell." "And who are you, may I ask?" "An angel." "How's that?" "I'm an angel." "Well, you must be very proud." "Let me get my hands on him." "I'll make him an angel." "Oh, you're cold, Mcgovern." "I never sit in the field boxes." "Where do you sit?" "Usually on the right hand of the archangel Gabriel." "That name mean anything to you?" "Sure, sure." "Gabriel." "Trumpet player." "None of your lip, Guffy, or I'll boot you over the center field wall." "I can get just as tough as you." "Remember that." "I'll murder this guy!" "Cold, Guffy." "Oh, colder still." "Now you're getting warm." "Keep talking." "The angel Gabriel's taken a personal interest in you, bigmouth." "It seems someone down there's been sending up a lot of prayers on your behalf." "Somebody praying for me." "Gee." "One punch!" "That's all I ask!" "One punch!" "Before he answers those prayers, he'd like to clean you up a little, and I'm stuck with the job." "Now, there's certain rules." "I'll give them to you fast." "Number 1-- cut out the blasphemy." "Number 2--start treating your fellow men with a little more respect and understanding." "Quit making life miserable for everybody around you." "Number 3-- and this is important-- love and stop slugging thy neighbor." "You hear me?" "I hear you fine." "Why can't I see you for one moment?" "Because I usually stay as far away from you as possible." "The bleachers!" "Stay where you are!" "Stand still and listen, or I'll blast you with a bolt of lightning." "Now don't rile me, boy." "Just behave yourself, and we'll get along fine." "As a matter of fact, I'll make a deal with you-- lay off swearing and fighting, and I'll win you some ball games." "I might even win you a pennant." "You'd like to win a pennant again, wouldn't you, Mcgovern?" "All right, you play ball with me, and I'll play ball with you." "How about that?" "How do I know you're what you say you are?" "Thunder and lightning's not enough, huh?" "All right, Aloysius, you trusting soul, look for a miracle tomorrow night in the third inning." "What kind of a miracle?" "Tomorrow night in the third inning..." "Hey!" "Hey!" "Hey, where are you?" "Wait a minute!" "Wait a" "[crowd cheering]" "Ronson?" "You're out!" "You're out!" "[Crowd cheering]" "[Crowd cheering]" "Safe!" "[Crowd cheering]" "[Crowd cheering]" "Out!" "Yeah?" "What?" "I was about to suggest that possibly you erred on that decision." "Get off the field." "Yes, sir." "[swat]" "Nice going, bigmouth." "[Take me out to the ball game playing]" "Jennifer:" "The pirates had come to life." "On the road, they won 10 games straight, and stranger still," "Mcgovern was a changed man." "He hadn't punched a soul in two weeks." "The team was in sixth position when they played the braves in Boston." "It was the last inning." "The pirates were winning 8-6, a hard-fought game." "Boys, boys!" "Now, boys, boys, please take it easy." "Now, I'll handle this." "Let me-- get out of my way, you bowlegged ape." "You fetter-mouthed donkey, you buckethead..." "[Thunder]" "Well, Mcgovern, you sure talked your way out of that one." "10 straight games, and then you had to go and blow it." "Now, look-- take off your hat." "Yes, sir." "All I said this afternoon" "I heard what you said." "Don't repeat it." "Well, look." "The guy called me an ape." "Bowlegged ape." "Yeah." "You are a little bowlegged." "What am I supposed to do-- take it as a compliment?" "Don't I get a chance to talk back?" "Certainly." "The English language has a total of 698,000 words." "We ask you to avoid 1/100 of 1% of these, which, at the moment, seems to be your entire vocabulary." "I'll be tongue-tied." "Shakespeare wasn't, nor Milton, nor Robert burns." "Study, Mcgovern, study." "Ok, I keep my trap shut," "I win all my games, huh?" "Now, wouldn't that look a little silly, the pirates winning every game?" "Yes, it would." "Besides, we have other things to do." "A lot of time, you'll be on your own, and when you need us, we'll be in there pitching." "Who's we?" "Me and my boys-- the heavenly choir nine." "Ball players?" "Sure." "In heaven?" "Oh, there's plenty of ball players in heaven." "What do you know?" "But very few managers." "Oh." "How do your, uh, boys help?" "Oh, they sort of get behind your boys, throw out a few quick hunches." "Who's on your squad, the heavenly choirs?" "We won't go into that, but I don't mind telling you that we have a team batting average of .331." "Good club." "Not bad." "When your boys played baseball down here, did I know any of them?" "Did I know you?" "We might have run into each other." "On what base?" "Ha ha ha ha." "Come on." "A guy's got a right to know his own angel." "Just give me a hint." "What team were you with?" "What position?" "All right, lay off, Mcgovern." "Your broken-down ball club is winning ball games." "What more do you want?" "I'll see you around, huh?" "Now, wait." "Listen-- good-bye." "Keep your nose out of things that don't concern you." "All right, all right." "Don't go away sore, huh?" "Sorry, Mr. Mcgovern." "Oh, that's all right." "Sit down, son." "Well, I told Minelli I'd have dinner with him." "Hey, when you made that catch today, how come you were laying so far to your right?" "I don't know." "I had sort of a feeling" "Johnson would hit it there." "A left-hander?" "He never hit there in his life." "I don't know." "Just call it a hunch." "He's reading Shakespeare." "Go on!" "The tempest." "I had it in English three." "He asked me to sit down with him." "Yeah." "This morning he said hello." "I don't like it, boys." "It isn't natural." "He hasn't changed." "He's just charging his batteries." "Waiter." "Yes, sir?" "Did you do what I said?" "Yes, sir." "This all right?" "You're sure it's tough enough?" "Mr. Baxter, this was cut right from between the horns." "Here, sir." "Hey, Saul." "Yeah." "Pull up a chair." "Thanks, but I'd like to digest my dinner." "You did all right in the old days." "Remember how we used to tear around?" "I don't want to think about the old days." "I don't want to think about you." "Do you mind?" "Your steak all right, sir?" "It's a wee bit tough, but it has a very nice flavor." "When the pirates played their next game in Pittsburgh, it started out just like any other afternoon." "But events were taking shape in the bleacher section." "Some orphan kids, in on passes, had come to cheer for the home team." "It was a regular weekly event." "Who's pitching, Mr. Smalley?" "Martin, sister." "Won 4, lost 6." "[Snap]" "Come on, Martin." "Stay in there and keep it high." "If he feeds it to Modbury low, he'll put it right in our laps." "Oh, dear." "Don't worry about Martin." "He's super." "Let's go, Marty!" "Show 'em what you did in Boston!" "Pass the peanuts, dear." "Fair!" "Hey, ump!" "Fair?" "Fair ball?" "Why, thou knave, thou dolt, thou hast eyes but seest not." "You heard him." "He said fair." "Fie!" "Fie upon you and a pox upon you, too!" "Thou art blind, thou black-livered bat!" "Hey, Hamlet, blow." "All right, let's get it." "Come on." "Atta-boy, Joe." "Jennifer:" "The orphan kids cheered for the pirates all through the game, but they were losing." "It was the sixth inning, the score, 7-2 in favor of the Phillies." "Things were looking bad for the pirates." "Then suddenly it happened." "Look!" "Look at the angel behind Mandekic." "What did you say, dear?" "And there's one behind Ronson, too, and Rothberg and Rezende." "There's one in back of everybody." "One what?" "Angel." "Get her out of the sun." "Come along, Bridget." "Come along." "How do you feel, dear?" "I feel fine." "[Crowd cheering]" "There they are again!" "Bridget, there are people sitting behind you." "But I see them--angels." "The kid is seeing angels." "Ain't nothing to what I've seen sometimes." "Look!" "Shh!" "You'll get us in trouble." "Bridget, that's enough." "But I see 'em, sister, big as life-- in the outfield, in the infield..." "And there's one sitting on the scoreboard." "Are you having trouble, sister?" "Nothing I can't take care of, thank you." "Do you want to leave again and not come back?" "No, sister." "Then let's have no more angels." "Jennifer:" "The pirates won again, 10-7." "It was getting to be a habit." "On the way out," "I ran into Smalley, the park cop." "He told me about the little girl in the bleachers, an orphan who saw angels." "I had my story for the day." "* take me out to the ball game * * take me out to the fray * * la da da da da da * hello, Joe." "Good morning." "* la da da da Dee Dee Dee * * buy me some peanuts and crackerjack-- **" "yes?" "Uh, I'd like to see a little girl." "Come in, please." "What age?" "Oh, uh, about 8, I guess." "That would be third grade--my class." "Would you wait just a moment, please?" "Sure." "[Clack clack]" "Children, there's a gentleman here." "He's looking for a little girl." "They never adopt them with glasses." "[Clack clack clack clack]" "Why, Mr. Mcgovern." "I think she's the one." "I" "I'd like to talk to you." "I think you should talk to some of the others, too." "We have some very nice girls here." "I'm sure." "What is it, sister?" "Mr. Mcgovern." "How do you do?" "I..." "I came about the story in the paper." "Yes." "I read it." "Is this the kid that-- is she the little girl who saw the angels?" "I just want to ask her a couple of questions." "Bridget, wait in my office." "Yes, sister." "Thank you, sister." "Mr. Mcgovern, will you come with me, please?" "Thank you." "I'm sister Edwitha, mother superior." "How the paper got the story I have no idea, but I think it's best for all concerned that we just forget it." "Yes." "Oh, sister..." "Excuse me, but you don't know baseball, baseball fans." "Thing like this gets started, it becomes a big megillah." "Oh, a megillah's a sort of a-- federal case." "Yeah." "Go on." "Well, the fans want answers." "I'm the manager, and I got to supply them." "A little girl sits too long in the sun without her hat on, and she thinks she sees something." "Surely you don't believe they were angels." "Oh, me?" "Would it do any harm just to talk to her?" "I don't want the child excited." "I won't." "I promise." "Well, just one moment." "Oh, there's one other thing." "Yes?" "In the seventh inning yesterday afternoon, when Rothberg was on third, why didn't you try a squeeze?" "They were expecting it." "Well, that's just it-- they were expecting it, and they knew that you knew that they were expecting it, so you wouldn't pull it." "Why, it would be completely unexpected." "Rothberg's fast." "He'd have made home easily." "Yeah." "Well," "Rothberg happens to have a bad ankle." "He hurt it in practice." "Oh, I'll light a candle for him." "[Doorbell buzzes]" "Will you just go along in and excuse me?" "Hiya." "Hi." "Sit down." "You, uh..." "Um..." "You read this?" "It says yesterday you saw angels." "Did you?" "Are you sure?" "Did you ever see angels before?" "Well, how'd you know they were angels?" "They looked like angels." "With wings?" "Well, sort of like wings." "Not baseball uniforms?" "Sort of like uniforms." "What color socks?" "I couldn't see." "Their robes were too long." "How many were there?" "One behind each player-- the pirates, I mean-- one on the scoreboard and one in the bullpen." "Was there one behind me?" "Uh-huh." "Is he there now?" "Who's that?" "That's Saint Gabriel." "Figures." "Now, about these, uh, "sort of like uniforms."" "Was there any writing across the chest, like New York, maybe, or, uh, cardinals or Dodgers?" "It wasn't a whole name, just initials." "Well, what initials?" "H.C." "[Gasps]" "Heavenly choir." "What?" "Uh, nothing, nothing." "Uh..." "Uh..." "Now, uh..." "About these other kids." "They didn't see anything, huh?" "Just you?" "Why was that, do you suppose?" "Maybe because I've been praying for you." "Me?" "You've been praying for me?" "The whole team." "How long have you been praying?" "Ever since you hit the slump." "You must have been praying pretty hard, huh?" "Oh, yes, every night and every morning, and..." "And sometimes during arithmetic." "That's very nice." "Thanks." "Well, you needed help, didn't you?" "We sure did." "I prayed to Saint Gabriel personally." "He's our patron Saint." "Good man, Gabriel." "What's your name?" "Bridget white, 8 years old." "How long have you been here?" "Eight years." "Oh." "I, uh," "I have to shove off now, Bridget." "It's been nice talking to you." "So long." "So long." "Oh, Bridget, about those prayers." "Keep 'em coming, huh?" "He's nice, isn't he?" "No, no, no, you can't see her." "I'm sorry." "Now, please go away." "We won't hurt the kid, sister." "The whole story is ridiculous." ""No angels, says sister Edwitha."" "Can we quote that?" "Don't you dare." "Sister." "Don't you print that picture, young man." "Evening post, sister." "It's a beauty." "Well, hiya, Guffy." "How's the angels?" "Look, let me out of here, will ya?" "How about a statement, Guffy?" "No comment." "No comment." "Maybe he believes in them, too." "How about it?" "Yeah." "What are you doing here, Guffy?" "Where's your harp?" "Lay off me, will you?" "You want to know about angels, ask her." "She wrote the story." "I'm getting out of here." "[Thunder]" "Now what did I do?" "Oh, nothing personal, eh?" "[Doorbell buzzes]" "Well, miss household hints." "What can I do for you?" "You can listen while I say I'm sorry." "Honestly, I had no idea that story would raise such a fuss." "If I had, I never would have-- what a mess this place is" "I never would have written it." "Your mistake was in showing up at that orphanage." "The newspapers are going to make a monkey out of you." "Goat, monkey-- I'm used to it." "If I were you," "I'd protect myself, Mcgovern." "Make a statement." "To you?" "Why not?" "Miss Paige, you're ruining my carpet." "Oh, don't be afraid of mud stains." "They're very easy to take out." "Here, do you mind?" "Stuff them with newspaper, turn on the oven, and put them underneath." "What kind of a parrot is this?" "It's a parrot." "Does it talk?" "Yes." "Did you teach it?" "Yes." "Scratch my head, please." "Well..." "He's very polite, isn't he?" "Why shouldn't he be?" "What else does he say?" "He says, "hello, how've you been?"" "And "good-bye."" "Joe, say good-bye to the lady." "Good-bye." "That's wonderful." "But doesn't he ever..." "Well, with you teaching him, doesn't he-- a man only swears when he's annoyed." "Joe never annoys me." "We're very happy together, Joe and I." "Well, frankly, I don't see how you can be in a shambles like this." "How do you ever find anything?" "Look, there isn't even a place for a guest to sit down." "There might be an idea in that." "Well, you can't get rid of me just yet, so you might as well make the best of it." "You know," "I've always wondered what baseball players did on rainy afternoons." "Entertain lady reporters who drop in uninvited." "Well, you're not being very entertaining." "What about the story of your life, Mcgovern, while my shoes are drying?" "Were you always so tough?" "Even when you were little?" "You had a boyhood, of course." "Tilton falls, Wisconsin." "I looked you up." "Sounds like a nice little town." "It was--four pool halls, five saloons, and the biggest pants factory in the state." "Did you play ball there?" "I sold peanuts." "Your folks weren't very well-off, huh?" "My folks did fine." "They had one of the saloons." "One day, they gave you a ball and a bat, and that's how you got started." "Not exactly." "I used to throw snowballs at the cop on the corner." "It was a long block and a long winter, so I finished up a third baseman." "Any more "down memory Lane" stuff you'd like?" "No." "[Sniff sniff]" "Are you cooking something?" "My shoes!" "Yeah, they're kind of crisp." "I said under the oven, not in it." "Of all the stupid, asinine-- shh!" "Not in front of Joe." "Oh." "How do you suggest I get home?" "Well, I could loan you a pair of my shoes, or I'll call a cab." "Where do you live?" "Delaney street." "And how do I get to the cab?" "I weigh 110 pounds." "When the cleaning woman comes in, tell her to burn all the old papers and put an airwick in the corner to get rid of that cigar smell" "I like cigar smoke." "And scour the ashtrays with ammonia." "Oh, and if she wants to take the ink stains out of that burgundy chair-- what chair?" "Burgundy, that's a color-- she can call me at the office-- extension 1173." "Will you open the door?" "You know, I could be a big help to you." "Just what I always needed-- a girl with turned-up shoes. 110?" "115." "Yeah." "Here, take these to Delaney street." "So if I took her to the ball game and we sat in the grandstand out of the sun, she wouldn't see any angels, of course," "I'd write the story just that way, and that would be the end of it." "All right." "Bridget!" "Bridget!" "Ooh!" "This is Bridget white, miss Paige." "Hello." "Would you like to go to the ball game with her this afternoon?" "Can I?" "Mm-hmm." "Will we speak to Mr. Mcgovern?" "Well, uh, we can wave." "All right, run along." "Comb your hair, put on a hat..." "With a brim!" "Jennifer:" "Bridget and I got pretty chummy during the game, exchanging girlish confidences." "The boys in the press box kept showing up with a steady stream of hot dogs and Eskimo pies and asking Bridget if she saw any angels." "Uh, vanilla ok?" "Oh, thank you." "Mac, I think that's enough." "How's it going, honey?" "The, uh, angels working yet?" "Uh-uh." "Well, you'll let us know, won't you?" "Oh, uh, Jenny, how about dinner after the game?" "Oh, thanks, but I'm testing a new recipe tonight." "Well, have fun." "Bye." "Do you live alone?" "All by myself." "That must be nice." "Why?" "I mean, instead of having a lot of kids around all the time." "Kids are such a bother, aren't they?" "Mmm..." "It depends." "I always say, why not live alone if you can live alone?" "Take like if you had someone around the house all the time." "You couldn't even come to the ball game when you wanted." "Not unless I brought her with me." "What's the matter?" "They're warming up." "Who?" "The angels." "Oh, now, Bridget, no!" "There they come, out on the field." "There's no one, nothing." "Look!" "Don't you see?" "You couldn't possibly see anything down there." "Do you hear me, Bridget?" "But I do." "There's one behind every player." "Oh, no!" "Come on, get out of here quick!" "Hey, they're going!" "Hey, Jenny!" "Jenny, wait a minute!" "Honey!" "Jenny, Jenny, what's the story?" "Look, fellas." "We're leaving, that's all." "Did you see any angels?" "How many were there, Bridget?" "Nine!" "Nine?" "Nine?" "Reynolds here." "Take this" ""the angels were out in force today, said little Bridget white."" "Wait in here, please." "All right." "Thank you." "I hear the kid's sick." "What did you do to her?" "Nothing." "I think it was just the ice cream and the four frankfurters." "Nice food for a kid." "You ought to know better." "Why did you want to drag her out there in the first place?" "I didn't drag her." "She was dying to go." "I only wanted to help." "Help?" "Fine help." ""Mcgovern's angels strike again."" "What are you trying to do-- laugh me out of baseball?" "Mr. Mcgovern," "I haven't laughed since the day I met you." "Were they boy angels or girl angels?" "Boy angels." "Did they look like people or did they look like the pictures of angels on our little prayer cards?" "Prayer cards." "Sore, huh?" "What color robe did they wear?" "White, eh?" "You're sure they were angels?" "They weren't groundkeepers?" "Or they were peanut vendors?" "Angels." "[Door opens]" "Sister, Mr. Mcgovern and miss Paige, they'd like to see Bridget." "Oh, please, can they?" "I don't see why not." "Organically, she's fine." "Just a little upset stomach is all." "But, uh, emotionally, I'm not so sure." "You really think that we should-- he can do no harm." "He's an excellent man." "Bridget, I don't want to alarm you, but we're going to call another doctor." "He won't give you any medicine." "He'll just ask you a few questions." "You understand, don't you?" "Sure." "You want to find out if I'm wacky." "Doctor, I'm sure it's not necessary." "Only a few minutes, please." "Now, don't you go upsetting her." "How you feeling?" "Much better, thank you." "You just ate too much junk, huh?" "It was the nicest time" "I ever had." "I brought you a present." "Oh, thank you." "You shouldn't have." "Aw, it's nothing." "It's beautiful!" "Yeah." "Well, it jumps, too, if you just squeeze this little thing here at the end, see?" "[Squeaking]" "It talks, too." "Imagine." "Well, it's just a kid's kangaroo." "I'll take it back and get you a real toy." "No." "Please." "I love it." "But will you come to see me again anyway?" "Yeah." "Sure." "Every day as long as you're sick." "Miss Paige, too?" "Me, too." "Now, I think you'd better get some sleep." "Yeah." "Good night, Bridget." "Every day while I'm sick?" "Of course." "Sure." "Good night." "Jenny:" "The story became a national issue." "Everyone was talking about angels." "There were newsreel interviews with baseball celebrities." "Bayles:" "Joe DiMaggio, Yankees center fielder." "What do you think, Joe?" "If Mcgovern needs any extra angels, we'd be glad to give him a couple of ours." "Ty Cobb, one of baseball's all-time greats." "What do you think, Mr. Cobb?" "Well, all I can say is that this game of baseball has certainly changed." "Bayles:" "Songwriter Harry Ruby, composer of three little words," "America's number-one baseball fan." "I predicted this at the start of the season when I said, "heaven help the pirates."" "Bayles:" "Bing Crosby, part owner of the Pittsburgh pirates." "You know, I think this angel stuff's pretty sound." "Lots of times folks think someone's watching over them." "Thanks." "Jenny:" "Whenever the team was in town," "Mcgovern paid a visit to the orphanage, and he made good his promise to bring a new present." "Now if you just go back to your seats so everybody can see..." "Just turn this knob, see?" "Now watch." "Announcer:" "He's got that chin lock again." "Yanking his head back." "The monster is trying to put on a leg crusher." "Very educational." "Yeah." "When the pirates climbed into third place, the newspapers laid off Mcgovern." "The angels were completely forgotten." "Tell him to bunt." "Wait." "Let him hit away." "Stay in there, Lou." "Safe!" "That was a nice switch." "Just a hunch." "[Whistling]" "* happy birthday to you * happy birthday, Mcgovern." "What goes on?" "A party!" "But how did you know?" "Bridget, she looked it up in the sporting news." "Parrot:" "Hello." "Hiya, Joe." "I didn't throw out a single thing you'll ever miss." "Don't you like it?" "Sure." "Sure, I like it." "Hey, a cake and everything." "Jennifer made it." "I turned on the oven." "What do you know?" "A regular birthday party." "I haven't had one since I was 10." "Believe me, that's a long time ago." "It sure is." "The book said-- never mind." "I tell you what, on your birthday, I'll give you a party." "When is it?" "Well, I'm not sure exactly, but the home picked October 5th." "That's the only day they had open." "Look, you help me in the kitchen, and, Bridget, why don't you give Joe a piece of this celery, huh?" "That-a girl." "I hope you don't mind." "She's getting such a kick out of it." "Why should I mind?" "Would you hand me the salt, please?" "Hey, what smells?" "So good, I mean." "Uh, ragout of veal a la brignole." "Oh, fancy stuff, eh?" "Mm-hmm." "You eat too many steaks, Mcgovern." "Change will be good for you." "Yeah, brignole smells great." "You know, I often wonder who dreams up all these things." "Uh, Mrs. Harkrider Oates of Rawson Avenue." "Is that so?" "Her favorite recipe." "Guaranteed to keep men at home." "Now the butter, please." "Well, we won again today, didn't we?" "Yeah, we did." "I suppose you realize we're only five games out of first place." "I've heard some talk." "Isn't it wonderful?" "Just a few weeks ago, we were last." "Wonder how it happened." "Angels." "Shh!" "The parsley, please." "The green stuff, the parsley." "Right there." "Thank you." "I have a different theory, you know." "I think it's you." "Me?" "Sure." "The pirates are playing as a team." "Why don't you take your apron off, honey?" "'Cause you're not losing your temper and yelling your head off and swinging on people." "Sister Edwitha says, "never swing on people." "You should turn the other cheek."" "Well, there's two schools of thought on that." "My school recommends getting in the first punch." "Sister Edwitha says, "turn the other cheek."" "You see?" "Ok, I suppose she knows best." "Now, you can carry this." "Bridget, you take the peas." "Now, be careful." "They're hot." "There." "Look out!" "You'll sit on the presents." "Oh!" "That one's mine." "I'll save this till last." "Well." "Not too loud, is it?" "No, no." "Yellow and green's not loud." "Now..." "Well, what do you know?" "A baseball." "It's not just an ordinary baseball." "Jennifer sent it into the clubhouse, and all the pirates signed it." "See?" "All except Mr. Hellman." "He was in the shower." "Imagine, an autographed ball." "That's just what I wanted." "Well, come on, let's try this." "Well, what's the matter?" "Well, what about grace?" "Grace who?" "Oh, grace." "Yeah, grace." "I almost forgot." "You--you lead off." "Oh, lord, make us truly thankful for these, thy gifts, which we are about to receive." "Amen." "You know, I'm hungry." "I hope I fixed enough of everything." "Cooking for myself the way I do," "I'm never exactly sure how much I should" "oh, don't eat that." "No." "No, it's..." "Delicious." "Oh, no, don't!" "It's poison." "I never in all my life" "Mrs. Harkrider Oates of Rawson Avenue is certainly going to hear from me in the morning." "Keeps men at home, does it?" "Maybe she means permanently." "I can't understand it, though." "Unless that olive oil..." "Could it have been rancid?" "How long have you had it?" "What olive oil?" "The olive oil in the cupboard, in the bottle in the cupboard." "Neat's foot oil." "What?" "Not olive oil, neat's foot oil." "I rub it in my glove." "Keeps the leather soft." "What's it doing in the cupboard?" "I got to put it someplace." "It's wonderful for gloves." "It certainly doesn't do anything for veal." "The peas are fine." "You can't make a meal on peas." "Oh, I just feel awful." "I should have looked at the bottle." "I always look at the bottle-- now, wait, now, don't lose your head." "This is my birthday, and I'm not going to have it spoiled by Mrs. Harkrider Oates of Rawson Avenue." "How's that?" "All right?" "Well, well, well." "This is a cozy little scene." "Birthday party?" "Yeah, yeah." "Keep moving, huh?" "I don't like to intrude, but may I have your autograph," "Mr. Mcgovern, on a check?" "I got the tab today from my dentist." "Repairing bridgework-- $180." "Just send me the bill, first of the month." "I think you'll like this." "Here, look-- will you stop?" "I thought you'd like to see what you're paying for." "I beg your pardon." "Look, blow, huh?" "Please?" "Uh, let me explain." "You see, a few weeks ago," "Mr. Mcgovern, in his usual charming, inimitable style, put the slug on me." "Didn't you, Guffy?" "Would you step outside for a moment?" "I would be delighted." "Mcgovern..." "Oh, sure, sure." "Don't worry." "Yeah?" "What?" "Look, I'm having a little birthday." "Don't louse it up." "You had a couple of drinks." "You feel good." "I feel fine." "Great shape." "Sure." "Be a nice guy." "Go on home." "Why should I be a nice guy for you?" "Give me one reason." "Nobody's bothering you tonight." "Nobody will, and if any certain party tries to bother me," "I'll hook him in the mouth." "Now, wait a minute." "[Woman screams]" "I'll take her in." "You stay where you are." "You'll have to carry her." "Up we go." "Come on." "Come in." "Please." "Right up to bed now, dear." "Good night." "Good night." "That's a sweet kid, that one." "Did you have a good party?" "Nicest time I ever had in my life." "Happy birthday." "Thanks." "Uh, what happens to the kids here, sister?" "What do you mean?" "Do they stay here forever?" "Doesn't anybody ever come around and, you know..." "Adopt them?" "Occasionally." "Not so often as we'd like." "They all seem to want tiny babies now." "I'd be afraid." "Were you thinking of adopting Bridget?" "Who, me?" "No, I just, uh..." "I..." "I couldn't, could I?" "Well, it would present certain problems." "There's no law against it, of course, but the court usually doesn't permit children to go to unmarried people." "Yeah, that would be a problem." "I'll pray on it." "Thanks." "It's not that I couldn't afford to keep her." "I got some dough saved." "I just never had anybody to spend it on." "A kid like that ought to have somebody, like a father." "Not that I'm any shining example of behavior." "There have been some times..." "And baseball's a pretty tough game, and a lot of people say that I..." "Well, maybe you've heard." "I sat in back of first base one day." "Well, I don't have to tell you." "That's all over." "Believe me." "It's a thing of the past." "I keep my mouth shut and my hands in my pockets." "No language." "Not even one fight." "You see, sister, we were in this restaurant, and there was this fella-- good night, sister." "Good night, Mcgovern." "Wait for me, will you?" "She's really a sweet child." "She just adores you." "Have you ever thought of adopting her?" "Who, me?" "I don't see anybody else around here." "Don't be silly." "What would I want with a kid around the house?" "Besides, a thing like that presents certain problems." "Well, this is where I live." "What kind of problems?" "Problems." "Oh." "It's been a wonderful evening, especially the main event." "I'll bet that's the first black eye you've had in years." "You travel around with me, I'll fix you good." "Is my face on crooked or something?" "Well, yours is." "You better go home and fix it." "And don't believe that beefsteak routine." "That's just superstition." "What it needs is hot and cold applications, preferably Epsom salts." "Look, you make a move, I'll make a move." "Huh?" "A long time ago," "I played third base in Minneapolis." "There was a girl in St. Paul, the nicest girl I ever knew." "We did a lot of talking, and I made some big plans, but they didn't include a certain shortstop, the one she finally married." "It was quite a blow." "I can imagine." "I guess I've been taking it out on everybody else ever since." "Good night." "Good night." "Sister, is it always right to turn the other cheek?" "Certainly." "Why?" "Mr. Mcgovern did last night, and he got sloughed something awful." "The meek shall inherit the earth." "Jenny:" "I never missed a game after that." "In September, the pirates met the giants in the final series." "They needed three straight games to win the pennant." "Steady there!" "Make him pitch to you!" "Two and two, boy." "Make him pitch to you." "Guffy!" "How do you feel?" "It's nothing." "I don't feel a thing." "I did it again, didn't I?" "Why'd I have to go and wave at you?" "It's nothing." "We won, didn't we?" "Where am I having dinner?" "I mean, where are you having dinner?" "I mean, us." "You're not going anyplace except home." "I've got a cab." "Hiya, Guffy." "Nice catch." "You ok?" "Any permanent injuries?" "No." "I've been hit in the head 20 times." "I feel fine." "Did you see any angels out there?" "I've never seen an angel, but I talk to one regularly." "What did you say?" "You speak to angels?" "Certainly." "Can we quote you?" "Why not?" "An angel sits in back of me in the dugout every day." "Where are they running?" "Let's get out of here." "Uhh!" "Sister?" "Hmm?" "Isn't it wonderful?" "I see them, and Guffy talks to them." ""Believe me, gentle listener." ""There is more to this than meets the eye." ""Mr. Mcgovern's antics on the field and off" ""are no longer a source of amusement" ""but a basis for serious inquiry." ""His latest peccadillo, an admission to the press that he converses with angels--"" "oh, for heaven's sakes!" "You were hit in the head." "You could say anything." ""...is unworthy of the high position" ""he now commands, proof beyond doubt" ""that Mr. Mcgovern is, to put it charitably," ""emotionally unstable and guilty of conduct" ""detrimental to organized baseball." ""Mr. Mcgovern's supporters" ""claim his peculiar statement" ""was made after being hit in the head with a line drive, therefore, he is not responsible."" "He admits it." "I would like to ask Mr. Mcgovern a question." "Was he responsible seven weeks ago in Boston?" "How about it, Mcgovern?" "Seven weeks ago, were you or were you not of sound mind and limb?" "Beside me in the studio tonight is a man who can answer these questions." "Would you tell us your name, please?" "Patrick J. Finley." "What is your occupation, Mr. Finley?" "I'm a groundskeeper at braves field up in Boston." "Will you please tell us what you saw in braves field about seven weeks ago?" "Well, I seen Mr. Mcgovern." "What time?" "I don't know." "After the game." "Where was he?" "Sitting on second base." "And what was he doing?" "He was talking." "Talking to whom?" "I don't know." "There wasn't anybody there." "And when he was sitting on second base talking to somebody who wasn't there, where was he looking?" "Up." "What did he say?" "I don't know exactly." "I couldn't hear everything." "I was in the dugout." "But one thing he said was," ""I have a right to know the name of my own angel."" "He said that?" ""My own angel"?" "Yes, sir." "Then he said again, "don't go away mad."" "Thank you, Mr. Finley." "I ask you, ladies and gentlemen and Mr. commissioner, is this the act of a normal, reasonable man, to hang around second base at night and talk to angels?" "Much as I hesitate to say this," "I think that Mr. Mcgovern should take a long, long, perhaps permanent rest." "The pirates chalked up a victory today, squeaking through by one lone run, playing uninspired ball." "They came to life in the final frame to sneak a run over the plate-- nice going, boys!" "What's eating you?" "So we win a ball game." "So, hurray." "I tell you, it's making me jumpy--angels, angels." "Every time I go after a ball," "I'm afraid I'm going to trip over something." "Shut up." "Did you watch Mcgovern out there looking over his shoulder every two seconds?" "It's scary." "For all we know, this guy is off his rocker." "He might even be dangerous." "Lay off Mcgovern." "I don't care if he's talking to fence posts." "He's trying to be a right guy." "Your job is to play ball for him and keep your mouth shut, understand?" "Ok, Saul." "Here he comes." "Announcer:" "And here's a flash that was just handed to me." "Arnold P. Hapgood, commissioner of baseball, will arrive in Pittsburgh tonight." "He is here to investigate Guffy Mcgovern." "Well, that sounds like bad news for Pittsburgh." "With the pennant hanging on tomorrow's game," "I'm afraid the pirates and Mr. Mcgovern are in a pretty tough spot." "The pirates played mighty shaky ball out there this afternoon." "With this hanging over their heads, there's no telling what they'll do." "It's about my boys." "They're getting nervous, not that I blame them, but if it keeps on like this, they're apt to come apart tomorrow." "I thought maybe you might have something to suggest." "Nervous, huh?" "Well, I wouldn't worry too much about it." "It's only natural at a time like this." "How are you doing?" "Me?" "Great." "I'm in the pink." "One game away from a pennant, and they're trying to throw me in the loony bin." "I don't sleep nights." "I don't eat." "Just to make matters worse, I'm fresh out of pitchers." "That so?" "You know." "I used four this afternoon." "Who do I start tomorrow?" "Yeah." "Well, I wouldn't worry about it." "Excuse me." "You got nothing to worry about." "You're all set." "With me, it's a little different." "Yeah?" "Yeah." "Martin's got a bad arm, Clark's on the sick list, and Hellman's an old man." "He wouldn't last two innings." "Yeah." "Saul's pretty tired." "Even I couldn't make him look good." "16 years is a lot of pitching in the major leagues." "It's his last one." "Next season they'll want to send him to the minors." "That won't make any difference to Saul." "He won't be around next season." "We're signing him up in the spring." "Saul?" "Yeah." "Everybody gets to play up here sooner or later." "But Saul..." "We were friends." "At least we used to be." "Hellman was a great pitcher once." "He pitched a two-hitter in a world series, you know." "Yes, I know." "I was there." "Excuse me." "Good night." "Good night, Guffy." "This way, commissioner." "Commissioner, could you give us a few words about tomorrow?" "Gentlemen, I have an appointment with all parties concerned tomorrow morning at 9:00, so until I hear all the evidence," "I have nothing to say." "The pirates are playing their last game of the season tomorrow afternoon for the pennant." "I'm aware of that." "Do you think is this the proper time to conduct the investigation?" "Any time is the proper time when the situation warrants it." "Baseball is for the people who support it." "My desk is piled high with letters." "From New York, sir?" "New York and other places." "In other words, you think Mcgovern has flipped his lid?" "The hearing takes place tomorrow morning." "Oh, but, Mr. commissioner..." "Jenny:" "The hearing was like a courtroom trial." "The investigation hinged on two points." "One--are there such things as angels?" "And two--is it possible to talk to them?" "How long have you been practicing psychiatry, Dr. Blane?" "18 years." "You've just heard Mr. Mcgovern's account of how a group of angels helped his ball team." "As a psychiatrist, how did his story impress you?" "Belief in celestial beings is a carryover from mankind's ignorance and fear of his environment." "Originally, man worshipped the sun, the moon, stones, trees." "But with the rise of religion as we know it today, man felt the need of a closer alliance with a supreme being, and so he invented the angel." "Invented?" "Precisely." "Just as a hurt child will run to its parent, so will a man turn for comfort to a belief in angels." "And when this belief takes the form of, uh, actual conversation with angels, what is your professional opinion?" "Well, I'd prefer not to say, but..." "I'd be happy to see you, Mr. Mcgovern, in my office." "[Laughter]" "Uh..." "Ahem." "I think that'll be all, doctor, and thank you." "[Whispering]" "Uh..." "Mr. commissioner." "Yes?" "I'd like to introduce three witnesses for the defense." "Yes, yes, of course." "Uh, gentlemen." "Mr. commissioner, I do not know any of these gentlemen." "My name is Guffy Mcgovern." "Dr. Eustace Danforth, Trinity church." "How do you do?" "Rabbi Allan Hahn, temple Israel." "How do you do?" "Father O'Hoolihan, church of our lady, queen of the angels." "Commissioner:" "Uh, gentlemen, just make yourselves comfortable." "Mr. commissioner?" "Uh, I suppose you gentlemen know the general idea in back of this inquiry?" "Well, what do you think?" "Uh, do you suppose there might be angels?" "Right to left." "Lead the way, Dr. Danforth." "To deny the existence of angels is to deny the word of the holy Bible, which is specific on the subject." "From the ancient Hebrew text, we have the words b'Nai Elohim-- the sons of god," "Kedoshim-- the holy ones, and mala-- mala-- how do you pronounce that?" "Malachim." "Thank you, rabbi." "Malachim-- the messengers." "All of these may be translated "angels."" "You'll check me on that, rabbi Hahn?" "It was an angel who guided the children of Israel to the promised land." ""Behold, I send an angel before thee to keep thee in the way."" "In psalms, again we find an angel-- the protector of man." ""The angel of the lord" ""encampeth round about them that fear him and delivereth them."" "Mcgovern:" "Father O'Hoolihan?" "Seeing as how there are whole coveys of angels flitting through the pages of the holy scriptures, both old and new testaments," "I don't see how I can get out of saying" "I believe in them." "I imagine the commissioner does, too." "Oh, please, just leave me out of this." "Uh, Mr. commissioner..." "Yes?" "Father, would you also believe that, uh, they play baseball?" "What's that?" "Well, Mr. Mcgovern has testified that, uh, angels helped his team." "Well, now, considering all the great wonders that angels have performed," "I'd be much surprised if they couldn't play baseball, providing, of course, they had a mind to." "But would they?" "With all respect to your cloth, gentlemen, is it likely that one of your angels or a group of angels would lend support to a man like Guffy Mcgovern?" "Is it possible that angels would aid and comfort such a man?" ""If a man have a hundred sheep" ""and one of them should go astray," ""doth he not leave the 99 in the mountains and go and seek that which is gone astray?"" "Matthew, chapter 18, verse 12." "Besides, the lord isn't as small-minded as some of us mortals." "And now, Mr. commissioner," "I had a short talk with rabbi Hahn in the elevator, and we both discovered we're seeing a ball game at 1:30, so if you don't mind..." "No, of course not." "Uh, you'd better hurry." "Thank you, sir." "Thank you, gentlemen." "Thank you." "If Dr. Blane would care to see me in my office," "I'd be very happy, indeed." "[Laughter]" "Hey, fellas..." "Where are you sitting?" "[Both laugh]" "Anything further that you'd like to add, Mr. Mcgovern?" "Nothing." "Well, gentlemen, I have listened to both sides of this argument, and frankly, I'm baffled." "I'm sure we'd all like to believe in angels." "I know I would." "But if only I had just one tiny bit of concrete evidence." "However..." "[Door opens]" "Mr. commissioner?" "Yes?" "This is Bridget white." "She wants to testify for Mr. Mcgovern." "Mr. commissioner, a minute ago you were all set to make a decision." "Let's get on with it." "I don't want anyone hammering away at this kid." "Sister, will you please get her out of here?" "If the commissioner wants to hear about angels, he ought to ask someone who's seen them." "Mr. Mcgovern, what are you afraid of?" "All right, you just sit right down here." "Uh..." "What is your name, little girl?" "Bridget white." "8 years old." "Oh, yes." "And where do you live, Bridget?" "Saint Gabriel's home for orphan girls." "You believe in angels, don't you?" "Doesn't everyone?" "No." "No, they don't." "But I saw them..." "Twice." "And where did you think you saw these angels?" "In the ballpark." "They were helping the pirates." "You're quite sure about that?" "You wouldn't, uh, just make up a story, would you?" "Oh, no." "It's bad to lie about anything." "But if you lied about angels," "I guess that'd be real trouble." "Mr. commissioner, may I question the witness?" "Certainly, certainly, certainly." "Now, Bridget, when you, uh..." "When you saw your, uh, angels, what were they doing?" "Well, there was one standing behind Mr. Mcgovern." "But, uh, you didn't see him talk to Mr. Mcgovern." "No." "But I know he must have." "Why?" "Because Mr. Mcgovern said so." "And you think that one of your angels, one of these heavenly messengers, would talk to a man like Mr. Mcgovern?" "Of course." "Any angel would be proud to talk to a nice man like Mr. Mcgovern." "[Laughter]" "Commissioner:" "Quiet." "Quiet, please." "Is that all, sir?" "Mr. commissioner, I hope we're not going to accept this as testimony." "The child is obviously prejudiced." "What are you talking about?" "I will decide what is evidence here." "Isn't it true that you tried to adopt this child?" "Haven't you recently made a declaration of this intention to the orphans court?" "Suppose I did." "What about it?" "Why, Mr. Mcgovern..." "There's nothing definite yet." "I don't even know if the court will let me have her." "You don't just walk in and adopt a child." "There's problems." "Oh, there's no problem here, Guffy." "Nevertheless, you wanted to adopt her." "Oh, that's nice." "It's touching!" "The little girl who saw the angels now stands up to testify for Mr. Mcgovern." "But isn't she actually testifying for papa?" "Ooh!" "Guffy!" "Stop that!" "Jenny:" "Guffy!" "[Thunder]" "Commissioner:" "Order!" "I said order." "Jenny:" "Don't do it, Guffy!" "[Shouting]" "Jenny:" "Stop it!" "Guffy, stop it!" "Guffy!" "No!" "[Shouting]" "Jenny:" "Guffy, don't!" "Make him stop!" "Guffy, don't!" "Gentlemen, I think..." "In view of the facts..." "All things considered..." "This case is dismissed." "What's with Guffy?" "Read about it!" "He got all his marbles?" "Sure, sure." "He was ok all the time." "He ain't no more crazy than I am." "Hey, Guffy, here you are!" "[All talking at once]" "Come on, Mcgovern, what do you say?" "That was a nice little fracas you staged, Mcgovern." "Quite a show." "Look, you heard what the fella said." "What else could I do?" "You had no right to slug him." "I warned you about that twice." "Ok, keep your shirt-- keep your wings on, huh?" "You talking to me?" "Just stick to your driving, will ya?" "I only hit him once or twice." "You completely destroyed his bridgework." "All right." "I'm sorry." "Well, you ought to be because when you busted that bridgework, you also busted our agreement." "What do you mean?" "We're through with you." "From now on, you're on your own." "Please!" "Don't make jokes!" "I didn't say nothin'." "It's no joke." "We're all finished." "Look, a pennant's hanging on that game today." "You can't walk out on me now." "I need you." "Kind of a shame, isn't it?" "But don't worry." "You've been on your own a lot of times in the last eight weeks." "I don't like to be on my own." "I'm not happy on my own." "You used to be." "But I'll let you in on a little secret-- you've learned something, Guffy." "You don't know it yourself yet, but you've learned that there's more important things in life than winning ball games." "We're a little proud of you." "Don't be proud of me." "Just be at Forbes field at 1:30." "That's all I want." "Sorry, can't make it, and tell that cabdriver to slow down." "He's making me nervous." "It's a dirty trick." "Who'd ever think that an angel would stoop to such a lowdown, dirty-- so long, Guffy." "No, listen!" "Good luck, boy." "Wait!" "Come back here a minute, will you?" "[Horn honks]" "How much do I owe you?" "Nothing!" "[Tires squeal]" "You decided who's going to pitch yet?" "The boys in the press box are asking." "They want to know who's going to pitch." "Hellman." "What?" "I said Hellman!" "Let's do it, boy." "[All shout at once]" "Batteries for today's game-- for New York..." "Barberry catching," "Toley pitching." "For Pittsburgh..." "Baxter catching," "Hellman pitching." "No!" "Not Hellman!" "Hellman?" "And they say Mcgovern's not crazy." "Ha!" "Take care of the bullpen, will you?" "Yeah, sure." "Do you see anything, honey?" "Not yet." "Umpire:" "Play ball!" "The giants come to bat now with the score still nothing to nothing." "Hellman has managed to hang on for four innings, but it's just a question of time." "[Crowd cheering]" "Strike!" "And it's over the left-field wall for a home run." "Safe!" "There's another hit." "A very close decision down there, but he's safe." "See any angels yet?" "You're out!" "You're out!" "Out at first for a double play to end the inning." "Score--New York, 1, Pittsburgh, nothing." "Mr. Hellman coming in off the mound." "Looks like a very tired man." "Come on, Vince, boy, let's go to work!" "Get a hit, boy!" "You're out!" "All right, only one away." "Lay into it, Tony, boy!" "Lay into it!" "Ball." "All right, Lou, get in there, boy, let's go!" "Let's go!" "Come on now, Lou!" "Knock it out of the park!" "Mandekic pulls up safe at second." "Two away, and rube Ronson coming up." "Rube hasn't had a hit yet." "All right, rube, let's get some runs, boy!" "A long, hard-hit ball that bounced off the scoreboard for a home run." "Atta-boy, Ruben!" "That's one for Milwaukee high!" "Let's get out there and hold them!" "Come on!" "How's it going?" "I guess I can get three of them out." "Here we are, at the top of the ninth inning, the final frame with the score still" "Pittsburgh, 2, New York, 1." "Hellman is taking the mound again for Pittsburgh, though he seems to be tiring badly." "This is the giants' last chance to tag him, and maybe they will." "One away, boy, one away!" "Hellman's touching that arm again." "Seems to be giving him some trouble." "Either it's pain or those giant averages." "Umpire:" "Take your base." "And he takes his base, hit by a pitched ball." "Well, Hellman seems to be losing control in there." "[Cheering]" "Jumping high in the air and spearing the ball." "Two out, a man on first." "They're getting to him, Guffy." "He'll never make it." "Ball one!" "Spectator:" "Take him out!" "Boo!" "Boo!" "Take him out!" "Get him out of there!" "Take him out!" "Two men on now, first and second." "Two away." "The fans are yelling to take Hellman out." "Come on, take him out!" "Get a pitcher!" "Throw the bum out!" "Get him out of there!" "Take him out!" "Get him out of there!" "Take a walk back!" "Take a walk!" "Safe!" "You're safe!" "The throw was not in time, and all the runners are safe." "Three men on base, two out." "And those pirate fans are really mad now." "A hit could win this ball game." "Spectator:" "Go on, Hellman, good-bye!" "Get him out of there!" "Go to the showers, bum!" "Get him out of there!" "Take him out!" "Yank the bum!" "Yank him!" "Mcgovern has finally made up his mind to take Hellman out of the game, but, uh, it may be a little late." "What do you think, Saul?" "Can you do it?" "Well, I'm tired, but I'd sure like to try." "Spectator:" "Get that bum out of there!" "Get a pitcher!" "Get a pitcher!" "It's your ball game." "Ladies and gentlemen," "Mr. Mcgovern has just pulled the bonehead play of his career." "He's leaving Hellman in." "Take him out of there!" "Coming up to the plate now is Dobbie Roscalla, who leads the league in runs batted in." "If he bats one now," "Mr. Mcgovern had better leave town." "Strike!" "A swing and a miss." "He never connected with that one." "Strike!" "Strike two." "Roscalla steps up to the plate again." "It only takes one to hit it." "Hellman's taking his time." "He's a very tired pitcher right now." "Thanks, Guffy." "For what?" "You're getting a good man." "Well, there you have it." "Uh..." "Final score" "Pittsburgh, 2, New York, 1, and, of course, a pennant for the pirates." "I hope Mr. Mcgovern's angels are pleased with the way things turned out." "Are you happy up there, little angels?" "Why don't you shut up?" "It was really true, wasn't it?" "Somebody must've helped me..." "Not only on the ball field, either." "Look what I got." "I wonder who they were." "Walter Johnson..." "John McGraw..." "Christy Mathewson..." "Eddie Collins..." "Lou Gehrig..." "Babe Ruth." "Great names." "Great guys." "Play ball!" "All right, come on, hit it!" "[Thud]" "They're on now."