""Atithi Devo Bhava."" "This means, guest is God." "Guests like aunts and uncles.." "..brothers-in-law and sisters-in-laws." "Or their friends, or the relatives of their friends." "These are the forms they come in." "The crows are the messengers of these guests." "And they announce the arrival of the guests before hand." """Feel at home.""" "Guests are usually welcomed home using such words." "Big mistake." "Because they really start feeling at home." "In the beginning, we enjoy the guest"s company.." "..and the gifts that they bring along." "But gradually this germ.." "..slowly spreads around our entire house." "Even our ancient scriptures.." "..contain descriptions of this inferior being, guest." "Mama Shakuni, Jaichand, Manthara.." "..Musharaff, etcetera.. have all been our esteemed guests." "Usually these guests appear during Diwali, Christmas.." "..and summer holidays." "But sometimes, they arrive at any given occasion." "Scientists around the world are still researching.." "..the arrival and departure of these beings." "We"ve learnt from reliable sources.." "..that guests are creatures who have.." "..no fixed arrival and departure time." "That"s why they"re called, "A-Tithi" (dateless)." "Yes, sir." "Taneja Arts Present, "Pachaas" (Fifty )." "Hail Goddess." "Scene no. 1 ." "The movie begins." "The hero is running covered in blood." "Cut to, the hero"s legs, he"s running." "Cut to, tight close of the hero, he"s running." "Cut to side trolley, the hero is running." "Cut to crane shot, the hero is running." "Cut to, the hero"s legs, he"s running." "Cut to, tight close of the hero, he"s running." "Cut to crane shot, the hero is running." "Cut to side trolley, the hero is running." "Cut to POV, the hero is running." "Stop it, stop it how long will you make him run. I"m tired." "The hero?" " No, no not the hero, I"m tired." "Run ahead. I mean go ahead." " Yes, sir." "While running he comes in front of a shanty." "And knocks on the door." "Enough, that"s all right." "What next?" "What happened?" " After that.." "Just a minute, sir." "Yes." "He breaks down the door." "The hero"s deaf sister hears the breaking of the door." "She sees the hero and shrieks, ""Brother""!" "The hero is about to fall.." "..when his disabled father runs and catches him." "The hero"s blind brother starts crying at the sight of blood." "His tears are falling." "The hero"s elder sister who is suffering from Polio.." "..of both the hands wipes his tears." "The hero staggers and falls at her mute mother"s feet." "And says ""Mother." "Mother, I"ve killed Manohar Lal""." "Hearing that, the hero"s mother says.." "Just a minute, what is all this?" "What kind of a family is this?" "The mute mother can speak." "The deaf sister can hear." "The blind brother can see." "The disabled father runs." "The elder sister has polio in her hands." "What is all this?" "Oh, no, sir." "The story becomes clear.." "..when we go into flashback." "Actually 15 years ago Manohar Lal killed.." "..the hero"s sister"s insane husband.." "..on the 50th day of their marriage, just for 50 rupees." "The widowed sister banged her hands.." "..so hard on the ground to break her bangles.." "..that they were crippled with polio." "Seeing this the mother shrieked so loudly that she lost her voice." "And the shriek damaged the eardrums of the sister." "Father was so shocked, that he suffered a paralytic attack." "And how did the younger brother turn blind?" "He was blind since birth." "is this a family or a hospital for the deaf, dumb and disabled?" "This is my family Taneja." "Oh, good family." "The public will shed tears." "The public will shed tears when the mute mother talks." "I can"t hear anymore." "I"ll leave Taneja." "I can"t hear any further." "Puneet, go for it." "Just go for it." "The mute mother"s dialogue should be mind-blowing." "I"m writing that, sir. I"m on it." "I"m leaving, Taneja." " l"ll see you out." "No, you remain seated and listen." "Know more about my family." "Okay." "Hail Goddess." "Puneet, come on, start." "For the super-hit story." "Look, I completely trust my talent and your laptop." "It"s almost done, sir." "Sir, if I could get my cheque?" "You"ll get the cheque too." "Why do you worry?" "Actually, my mummy and daddy are coming over." "I have to take them to Ashtavinayak." "I have to take them to Siddhivinayak." "To Shirdi, to the hospital." " Hospital?" "I"ve to get them operated." "Actually, mother can"t see properly." "And father can"t hear properly." "My family is very similar to the don"s family." "And then, no one gives a concession during recession." "And then if you have guests, it really makes things worse." "I need to show this to the lead actor." "The opening shot is scheduled for after 20 days." "It"s done, sir." " Thank you." "Thank you." "As per "Vaastu Shastra" (science of architecture).." "..I want my bathroom here, where my bedroom is." " Right." "And I want my bedroom here, where my bath is." " Hello." "Do you get my point?" " l"ll just come." "Are you listening J. D?" " Yes, yes, Mrs. Khanna you"re right." "There it is, okay." " Yes." "Mrs. Khanna, last time you said.." "..you want your bedroom where your kitchen is." "Remember?" " l"ll be right there." "You"ve already got it demolished three times." "So what?" "I"ll keep getting it demolished until I"m satisfied." "After all it"s not very often that one gets a house made." "Yes, but you"re getting it demolished very often." "What"s breaking down?" " The house is breaking down." "Sorry Mrs. Khanna, gender mistake." "But don"t worry, there won"t be any mistakes in your design." "Munmun will handle it." " Okay." "Munmun, just give her what she wants." "I"ve to rush off, my wife has an appointment with the doctor." "Oh, what happened?" " Just a chronic back problem." "Take care." " But don"t worry, you"re in safe hands." "She"ll do a good job." " Okay." "I"ll see you." "Bye." " Okay, Munmun." "Now look into this book." "See here." " Yes." "As per page two, it says.." " Hey, Mun." "Your phone is ringing." "Excuse me, Mrs. Khanna, just a moment." "Puneet, where are you?" " l"m driving." "How many times have I told you.." "..not to talk on the phone while driving." "It"s a new car." "Do you know how much we"ll have to pay.." "..if you meet with an accident?" "And if a police officer sees you.." "..you"ll have to pay him a hundred rupees." "Munmun you"re the one who called me." "There were three missed calls from you." "So, why did you miss my calls?" "Why didn"t you pick up my calls?" "I told you that I was driving." "So, can"t you answer my call just once?" "Sometimes you"re so irresponsible I really get worried." "Why did you call?" " There was a call from Ayush"s school." "They"ve called us to the school." "Who teaches the child at home?" " We do." "Don"t you have any values in your family?" "Your child is so poor in Hindi." "Please take special care of your child"s Hindi." "He has scored 10 out of 100." "He doesn"t even know the meaning.." "..of "Atithi Devo Bhava" (Guest is God)." "Even I don"t know that." "Now I know where the source of this problem is." "It"s not right to blame the child.." "..when the mother herself is ignorant." "Goodbye." "What does "Atithi Devo Bhava" mean?" "It means guests are like God." "Like Lord Ganesha." "What does Atithi mean?" " lt means guest." "Those who visit us at home." "But no one visits our home." """Guest, when will you come home?""" "Madam, I"m leaving." "I won"t be coming tomorrow." "I"m expecting guests at home." " What?" "Papa, even the maid has guests." " Yes." "You have a guest everyday at your home." "You"re taking so many days off." "Now if I have relatives, they"re bound to visit me." "I"m leaving." "They are highly influenced by movies." "They don"t know the importance of guests." "They"ll know when they have guests." "Papa, won"t we have a guest at home?" "I planned my holidays last week." "Before I receive any guests.." "..I"m going to visit someone with my entire family." "Catering to guest can be very risky." "I mean it." "Be careful." """Guest, when"ll you come home?""" """Uncle from Delhi.""" """Aunt from Jaunpur.""" """Rinku, Chintu." "Rimjhim, Sweety.""" """Mother"s sister or the father"s.""" """When will you come?""" """How nice?""" """When will you come?""" """Guest, when"ll you come home?""" """When will you come home?""" """Guest, when will you come home?""" "Stand straight." "Stand straight." "Don"t move." "Another slap and you"ll start bleeding from the other ear." "Insolent." "I asked him, ""Where does Pappu live""." "He says ""There"s no Pappu here, get lost""." "Get lost." "And he says, ""Why did you call me watchman""." "What do you want me to call you?" "Obama." "is this how you talk to elders?" "Hello." " Your guest is here." "He slapped the watchman." "Do you have a father?" "What do you call your father?" "Papa." " Papa." "Papa." "Give me your papa"s number.." "..I"ll tell him how insolent his child is." "Give me his number." "Come on." " No." "Where are you going?" " l said that I made a mistake." "He says he"s your uncle." "Pappu." "Pappu." "Pappu." "Didn"t you recognise me?" "I"m uncle Lambodar, from Gorakhpur." "Did you recognise me now?" "No." "See that." "He wet my waistcloth in Gudiya"s marriage." "Guidya.." " From Bareilly." "Now do you recognise me?" "Aunt Dolly"s.." " Yes." "No, the aunt, did you recognise me now?" "I"m Putani"s aunt"s sister"s sister-in-law"s brother-in-law." "Lambodar." "Putani?" " Your father." "Now did you recognise me?" "Yes." "Come, touch my feet." "Touch my feet." "That"s right." "This is what you called culture." "You should behave properly with elders." "Not like you." "I"ll slap you again." "Will we keep standing here?" "Pick up the luggage, come on." "Come here." "Come here." "Come here." "Keep Rs.10." "Get yourself treated.." "..and buy yourself some milk with whatever is left." "Get it?" "Go on, be healthy." "Come on, Pappu." "Come on." "Goodbye." "Goodbye." "Come on." "Hello." "Hello." "Who is he?" " Uncle." "Which uncle is he?" "You never told me that you have a relative in Gorakhpur." "Or in Jhansi." " l didn"t know myself." "You didn"t know about your own uncle." "You"re so irresponsible sometimes, Puneet." "It"s been 12 years since I left Kanpur." "It"s been eight years since father passed away." "I"ve never been in touch with anyone." "There must be many such relatives.." " But Puneet." "Munmun, now he"s here." "We can"t do anything." "Come and meet him, or he"ll feel bad." "Come on." " Come on." "Like this?" " Why?" "Wear some clothes." "I"m already wearing them." " Wear some more, please." "This, this one." "Uncle." " Here I am, son." "Munmun, your daughter-in-law." "Hello." " No, no." "You should take the blessings of your elders." "Come touch my feet." "Touch my feet." "Bless you child, bless you." "Beautiful, cultured, virtuous." "You"re like Laxmi (Goddess of prosperity )." "Just like Sarla." "Your aunt." "You two look like Lord Shiva and Goddess Parvati together." "If only Putani had been alive today." "He would"ve been very happy to see you two." "Putani?" " Sorry." "My father." "Take a seat." "I"m really happy to see that you"re doing well." "Really." "When you have your own home, and your own wife.." "..what else do you want in life?" "is he your own son?" " Yes, come, come Ayush." "Yes." ""Atithi Devo Bhava."" "Remember." " Come, son." ""Guest is like God, like Lord Ganesha."" "Touch his feet." "Touch his feet." "Let it be, let it be." "He"ll do it when he wants to." "Respect comes from education." "Be seated, I"ll get tea for you." "No, I don"t feel like drinking tea now." "Uncle farted." " Ayush." "Bad manners." " Me, or uncle." "Ayush." " He"s very naughty." "How long does he plan to stay?" " Must be two-four days." "Did you make something for him?" " He"s not well." "Shall I make pilaf for him?" "Have you had a bath, Uncle?" " Yes, son." "I had a nice bath under the shower." "You have a wonderful bathroom." "And that soap, it smells so good." "I could see through it." "I"ll go dry these clothes." "Okay." "He used my soap." " He used my towel also." "And Baba Ramdev"s purgative worked miraculously." "My stomach is absolutely fine now." "I"m really hungry, dear." "Prepare some rice and lentil with your wonderful hands." "And do you have clarified butter?" "Then make some puffed bread." "And some vegetables." "And if you have curd, make some side dish." "And what"s that called.." "radish, cucumber.." "Salad, salad." " Yes, make that too." "Don"t take too much trouble." "Won"t you have some dessert?" " That"ll be later, later." "Let me finish venerating first." "Dessert?" "Had this been my uncle.." "..your plight would"ve been worth watching." "Wow, the food was really delicious." "This has reminded me of Sarla." "Please have some more, Uncle." "We"ll make something else for you." "I"ve had enough. I"ve had enough." "Dear." "Dear, come here," "Yes." "Here." " Do you want something, Uncle?" "No, no." "I"ve tasted daughter-in-law"s cooking for the first time." "It"s wrong to keep her empty-handed." "Keep it, dear, it"s an auspicious gift." "May Goddess Annapurna always keep you happy." "May no one return from your doors with an empty stomach." "Keep it." "Ayush, what are you looking here for?" "Eat the bread, come on eat the bread." "No, no, it"s okay." "Come here." "Which grade do you study in?" " Grade?" "Fine, now tell me.." "..is Delhi closer or is the moon?" " Delhi." "Wrong." "The moon is closer?" " You"re lying." "Be quiet." "How is that, Uncle?" "Can you see Delhi?" " No." "And take a look, you can see the moon." " Yes." "So which is closer?" " Moon." "Sorry, you"ll have to sleep outside without the air-conditioner." "So what?" "One has to adjust when there"s a guest in house." "It"s just a matter of few days." "Let him sleep in the bedroom." "We"ll sleep outside." "Seems to be a nice man." "Get some room-fresheners tomorrow." "We"re out of stock." " Okay." "What.. what happened?" "Mummy." "Ayush, when did he come here?" "He must"ve come here at night." "What kind of sound is that, take a look." "No, son it"s alright." "I think some wild animal has barged in." " Yes." "Its okay, Ayush." "It must be a wild animal." "What happened?" "Uncle is gargling." " Gargle?" "At midnight?" " lt isn"t even 5:45." "People wake up early in the village." "Just to gargle?" " Yes." "They have early breakfast too." " What?" "Mun." " Yes." " Have you finished Mrs. Khanna"s design?" "No, I"m still working on it." "What happened?" "All is well." "Puneet"s uncle is visiting us." "And you know what happens when there"s a guest at home." "He gets up at 5:30 in the morning." "And needs breakfast readied at 6:30." "That too, after having a bath." "Otherwise it"s supposed to be inauspicious." "Really?" " Yes." "In his village, daughter-in-law"s.." "..can"t enter the kitchen without having a bath." "You"re done for, Mun." "Munmun, finalise this." " Yes." "I"m going to see the doctor, will see you later." "What happened?" " The same old chronic back problem of my wife." "Finalise this." "Mun, don"t you feel that J. D"s wife.." "..is spending more time with the doctor than with J.D." "By the way, do you know.." "..where l can find "Singhada" flour." ""Singhada"?" "What is that?" " l don"t know." "But, uncle wants to eat bread made of that flour." "Can you believe it?" "Maid, Sweep that corner." "That one." "Here." "Here." "Go on." "You can go further ahead, inside." "Go on." "Yes." "Yes. lt"s done." " Done." "Now the clothes." " l"ve already washed them." "You"ve washed them?" " Yes." "Fine, now let"s wash them properly." "Come on." "Puneet, hail the Goddess." " Hail the Goddess." "What"s going on?" " Yes sir, I"m on it." "I"ve finished till interval." "If you"ve finished the interval, then, reach the end too." "There"s just 15 days left for the opening take." "If the script isn"t ready, our hero won"t come for the shoot." "Son, Mahabharat." "Daddy, I"m talking on the phone can"t you see?" "How are mummy-daddy?" "Don"t worry about mummy-daddy." "Just think about the script." "When will you give me the script?" "I"m on it, sir, I"m on it." "Hail the Goddess." " Son, please switch on Mahabharat now." "Daddy, ever since the both of you have arrived.." "..you"ve been watching live Mahabharat." "Why do you want to see it on television now?" "Oh, God." "What are both of you up to now?" "You don"t even let me apply make-up." "What are you doing, son?" "Uncle, I"m working." " Working?" "What do you do?" " l"m a writer." "That"s okay, but.. what do you do?" "I write stories." " Wow, even I write stories." "But how do you earn a living?" "Uncle, I write stories for movies." " Wow." "How nice, how nice." "Go on, go on work with concentration." " Yes." "Wow." "Very good." "Movie stories." "Pappu, do you know him.." "that movie actor.." " No, no." "He"s very tall." "He hails from our village." "Mr. Amitabh, Mr. Amitabh." " Yes, Amitabh." "And, Dharmendra, do you know Dharmendra." "No, I only work with the recent actors." "The actors these days are not worth it." "The real actors were the ones in our era." "Dilip Kumar. "Ganga Jamuna"." "Bharat Bhushan, Rajendra Kumar." "Dharmendra." "Wow." "Tall and a broad chest." "And lots of chest hair." "Chest hair." "If the fly enters in there, it won"t find his way out." "And die right there." "The actors these days aren"t like that." "They shave their chest." "Clean shaven." "Like they"ve made it into a runway." "You can"t call them actors." "And the actresses." "You get speechless." "Sadhna, Vaijanti Mala, Asha Parekh, Padmini." "From top to bottom, they look exactly the same." "And they can sit in one place and sing the entire song." "At one place." "They were so cultured." "Hello, there are prayers going on." "I should send uncle, right now." "Okay, okay." "Uncle, there are prayers going on." "Downstairs in the building." "Would you like to go?" " Fine, fine, I"ll be right back from the prayers." "Later, I"ll tell you a story about Vaijanti Mala." "Yes, yes." " About Vaijanti Mala." "This is wrong, I"m completely against it." "is this our culture?" "Who is he?" " He"s our writer"s uncle." " Oh." "Hello." " Hello." "As long as we play devotional songs from these gadgets.." "..the Goddess will never be pleased." "The discourses should come from your heart." "Until you don"t chant the discourses.." "..Goddess will never be pleased." "We already told them.." "..that this latest technology shouldn"t be in the temple." "Of course." " The drums and the flute are all lying is ready." "But who will sing?" "As long there"s devotion, and love for Goddess.." "..in our hearts, anyone can sing." " Yes." "Come on, I will sing." "Play it." """Glory to.. the Goddess.""" """Glory to.. the Goddess.""" """Glory to.. the Goddess.""" """This world.. is a quagmire.""" """This world is a quagmire.""" """Goddess will relieve everyone of their troubles.""" """This world is a quagmire.""" """Goddess will relieve everyone of their troubles.""" """Come and take the Goddess"s blessings.""" """Come in the temple and take the Goddess"s offerings.""" """Come in the temple and take the Goddess"s offerings.""" """Ignite the flame.." " lgnite it.""" """Of faith in Goddess.""" """The Goddess will be with you.""" """Ignite the light of faith in Goddess.""" """The Goddess will be with you.""" """The hearts are withering with sufferings.""" """The hearts are withering with sufferings.""" """Goddess, you"re the soothing rain.""" """Ignite the light of faith in Goddess.""" """The Goddess will be with you.""" """This world is a quagmire.""" """Goddess will relieve everyone of their troubles.""" """Come and take the Goddess"s blessings.""" """Come to the temple and take the Goddess"s offerings.""" """Come in the temple and take the Goddess"s offerings.""" """Glory to.. the Goddess.""" """Glory to.. the Goddess.""" """Why are you.. away from Goddess?""" """Why are you away from the Goddess?""" """What mistake has she made?""" """The Goddess is calling out to her devotees.""" """She"s waiting to anoint you.""" """She"s calling out to you, she"s calling out to you.""" """She"s waiting, she"s waiting to anoint you.""" """Grace your forehead with the colour of her name.""" """Then Goddess is with you.""" """Grace your forehead with the colour of her name.""" """Then the Goddess will be with you.""" """Glory to.. the Goddess.""" """Glory to.. the Goddess.""" """Glory to.. the Goddess.""" """Glory to.. the Goddess.""" """Glory to.. the Goddess.""" """Glory to.. the Goddess.""" """Glory to..""" "What happened?" "What happened?" "What happened?" " Papa." "I got a catch in my back." " Back." " Yes." "Move back, move back." " Why?" "Move back." " Why?" "One kick will make everything fine?" " Kick?" "Kick?" "Kick?" " Why will you kick him?" "It"s a very ingenious treatment." "If you get a catch in your back.." "..let a man who"s born backwards kick you." "What is he saying?" " lt gets cured." "I was born backwards, but you stand straight." "Okay." "Fine." " Sure?" " Sure, sure." "Strand straight, stand straight." "Don"t move." " Kick slowly." "One, two, three." "Are you alright?" " Papa, papa." "is it okay?" "There you go." "Wow, uncle!" "Wow, uncle!" "Does anyone else have backache?" "No, no." " Does anyone?" "Hello." "What time does doctor uncle kick?" "10-11 in the morning, and 5-6 in the evening." "I don"t believe this." "How can a kick cure back problems?" "I"m telling you, people stand in long queues.." "..outside the house to get kicked." "Yes, baby, don"t worry I"ll sue the doctor." "Absolutely, I"m coming." "Why is J. D always so tensed?" "His wife"s back-problem." "It"s giving a lot of problem." "In fact Mun, why don"t you recommend uncle?" "Baby please, just one kick for my sake." " No." " Madam." "Ma"am, just one kick." "And your pain will be gone forever." "Come on, come on, uncle." "One, two, three." "Baby." "Baby, you okay?" "Baby." "Yes, baby dear." "Does it still pain?" "I don"t know about the pain, but she doesn"t have teeth." "Its okay, it"s okay." "I"ll have to kick again." "Stand up, stand up." " Baby." "What is this?" " Sir, your wife"s teeth." "Not that, this." "What is this?" " Bedroom, sir." "No, what is this?" " Mrs. Khanna"s design." "You sent this design to Mrs. Khanna." " Yes." "She wanted the bedroom in place of the bathroom." "You moved the bedroom in place of the kitchen instead." "Sir, there was so much confusion, she kept changing.." "Confusion." "Why don"t you do one thing?" "Why don"t you ask your uncle to construct it?" "I"m sure he"d also be an interior designer.." "..besides being a doctor." "Sorry, sir." " You better be." "And if you can"t do it properly, I"ll ask someone else." "There are thousands of designers around." "Yes." "And they wouldn"t have any uncle either." "Go on." " Sorry." "Baby." "It"s okay." "I just can"t handle the pressure." "Firstly, Mrs. Khanna changes the plan everyday and confuses me." "And I don"t get enough sleep either." "I can"t sleep outside in this summer without the AC." "And then uncle wakes me up.." "..at 6 o"clock in the morning with his gargling." "Then prepare his breakfast, his lunch." "Go home and teach Ayush." "I just can"t cope up, you know." "Didn"t l tell you, guests are good only for a few days?" "By the way, when is your uncle leaving?" "God only knows. lt"s been 12 days, he should leave now." "Hey, hey.. here, under the table." "And listen, sweep it properly." "Don"t dust it in the air." "Sweep properly." "You missed that corner." "That corner." "Bend down." "It will go further in." "It will go further." "That"s it, just stretch your hand." "Maid, I can see it from here." "Get it out." "Madam!" "Madam!" " What happened?" "What?" "What happened?" "I don"t want to work." " Why?" "As long as this uncle is at home, I don"t want to work." "But what"s wrong?" "Your maid is lazybones." "You called me lazybones." " Yes." "Do I look like I"m lazybones?" "Do I look like I"m lazybones?" "I might look like one, but I"m not." "Look, Manda, you.." " No, you watch." "Wonder where you got this guest from?" "He stands on my head.." "..and makes me sweep the entire house." "Sweep the dirt from this corner." "Sweep the dirt from that corner." "I"m a maid after all, not a rat.." "..that I"d go to every corner and sweep it clean." "He makes me wash the clothes three times over." "I"ve been working in this house for the past three years." "Have you ever said anything to me?" "Have you ever said anything to me?" " Look Manda.." "Yes, yes." "She steals the cream from the milk." "She steals tea leaves, sugar." "She steals spoons and bowls, and takes it with her." "Don"t you." "Oh, God." "You called me a thief." "Thief." " Yes, I did." "Do I look like a thief?" "Do I look like a thief?" "I look like a thief, but I"m not." "But now I don"t want to work in this house." "As long as this old man is in this society.." "..I won"t work in this house." "And, I won"t let anyone work either." "Manda." " l"m leaving." "Yes, fine let her go, dear." " Manda, listen to me." "Dear, I"ll do the sweeping." "Dear, don"t worry I"ll do it. lsn"t it?" "Lazybones." "That corner." " Yes, I will." "What"s there to laugh about?" "Who will do the household chores now?" "You or your uncle?" "With great difficulty I had found a maid.." "..but he made her leave." "Do you realise what he has done?" "He turned the maid out." "Do you know the importance of a maid in a woman"s life?" "I know, I know." "A woman can live without her husband.." "..but not without the maid." "You can find another husband." "But a maid.." "He turned the maid out." "I"m not going to cook for him." "Order from the hotel." "We"ve already eaten five times from the hotel this time." "We"ve already spent a lot." "Then, we"ll have "Pav-bhaji" on the streets." "But I"m not cooking for him." "Okay." " Okay." "Son, this is a heavy snack." "Hey, give me some butter." "No, no, don"t be a miser." "Daughter-in-law." "Cook something light for dinner." "Lentil, rice, flatbread, few vegetables." "And we"ll have dessert later." "Oh, God what has happened?" "The stomach is feeling so heavy." "He seems to have cooked in cheap oil instead of butter." "Uncle, take this medicine." "No, no, Uncle." "This is gas." "Let it flow, don"t try to stop it." "You"ve been passing wind since morning." "Please take this medicine." "How long will he keep doing this?" "As long there"s air in the atmosphere.." "..it will.. go on." "That"s why I"m saying, take this medicine." "I can"t take it, son." " Why can"t you take it?" "I mean, why can"t you take it, Uncle?" "I"m a vegetarian." "And this contains the fat and bones of animals." "I can"t take it." "Cow urine." "Cow what?" "Get me some cow urine." " Cow urine." "Get me some urine from a black cow.." "..and everything will be fine." "And bring a fresh sample." "Otherwise, its effect wears off in half an hour." "Bring it fresh." "In half an hour?" "is it cow urine, or pizza?" "This bus will take you on a tour of entire Mumbai.." "..and drop you back here." "There"s fried flatbread and pickles in this." " Fine." "Take a good look around." "And come back in the evening." " Fine." "Okay, okay." "Yes, Mun." "Yes, I made him board it." "Now, I can comfortably work on my script." "I have to deliver it this evening." "Son, I"m standing right outside Amitabh Bachchan"s house." "People say that he comes out and waves his hands." "He hasn"t come out yet." "He"s here, he"s here." "He"s waving." "He has very long hands, son." "May God bless him with prosperity." "Uncle, disconnect the phone and wave back at him." "Wave back with both your hands." "Disconnect the phone." " Yes." "I did, I did." "Return my phone." "You"ve used up all the balance." "Pappu." "You"ll get the photo in a minute, sir." "They"re charging me Rs.50 for a photograph." "But in the village they charge only 10." "What should I do?" "Should I pay them?" "Get a big photograph." "Just a minute." "Talk to this gentleman here." "Who is it?" " My nephew, he"s a writer." "Pappu." "How many times will you call me?" "You"re troubling me." " Why shouldn"t l call?" "You"ve switched off your mobile." "Listen to me." "Tomorrow is the opening shot." "When will you give me the script?" " Hello." "Hello." " The hero is asking for the script.." "Hello, your voice.." " You can"t hear me." "Hello." "Hello." "Hail the Goddess." "Pappu." "Son, it"s me." "Lambodar." "Your uncle." " Uncle, it"s you." "You"re back so soon." " Son, there was nothing left to see." "And do you know who I ran into?" "Just a minute." "Dukhbhajan." "Dukhbhajan." "That"s him." "My friend." "He runs a blouse and petticoat shop in my village." "Ranjan." "Open it." "Ranjan." "Yes." "He runs a footwear shop." "And he"s Manoranjan." " Niranjan." "Niranjan." "He works in a bank." "He stays here." "Look I follow only one principle." "Greet everyone with a smile." "One should never fall short of friends." "Come on, come in." "Come on in, it"s my Pappu"s house." "Come in." "Come Niranjan." "And there"s such a wonderful bathroom." "Go and wash up.." "..and my daughter-in-law will cook for everyone." "Where are you?" " ln Buddha Garden." "Four of your fiendish relatives are sitting here.." "..and I have to cook for them." "And you"re strolling in the Buddha Garden." "I"m not taking a stroll." " Then what else are you doing?" "Getting knowledge from the Buddha?" "I"m working. I"ve to deliver the script.." "..or else I"ll lose this film." "I don"t know about the film, but you"ll surely leave your wife." "Daughter-in-law." " Yes, Uncle." "Daughter-in-law." " Yes." "Daughter-in-law, prepare some fritters." "Fritters." " Yes." "With chillies." " Now they want fritters." "And, daughter-in-law." " Yes." "Onion fritters for Niranjan." " Yes." "Onions." "Onions and chilly." " Okay." "Cottage cheese." "Some cottage cheese fritters." "Okay, okay." "Did you hear that?" "And yes.." "listen." " Yes, Uncle." "Daughter-in-law, prepare some tea as well." "Tea." " Yes." "Okay." "And will ginger do?" "And you will have cardamom." "Ginger and cardamom mixed." "Ginger and cardamom mixed." " Mixed." "Tea." "Okay, Uncle." "Daughter-in-law." " Yes, Uncle." "Cardamom." "You heard it, didn"t you?" "Cardamom." " That"s all." "Did you hear?" "Did you hear the menu?" "I"m not cooking." "Then don"t cook but don"t trouble me." "What should I do?" "Uncle has been troubling me since morning.." "..Taneja is after me, and now you." "Look, don"t trouble me." "I don"t know about you, but I will commit suicide right now." "I will commit suicide." "Hey.." "Get lost from here, get lost." "You"re not allowed to commit suicide here." "Go on, go." " Sir, please leave me alone, I"m working." "What should I do?" "Get lost quietly." "Or else I will put you behind bars." "And you"ll have to stay in the lock up all night." "Puneet, hello." "Talk to me." "And you can sit in there and work." "Come on." "What"s going on there?" " l"m getting arrested." "Hey.." "What?" "Hey man, are you chatting?" " No." "Log on to "Savita bhabhi" (sister-in-law Savita)." ""Savita bhabhi"." " "Savita bhabhi"." "Open it." "Inspector." "No one has ever been to the police station from my family." "And you spent an entire night in the police station." "The entire society knows that you were arrested." "And they think you misbehaved with a girl." "What?" " How else would I have completed my script?" "It was a self-arrest." "Whom will you explain?" "All because of uncle." "I told you, today is uncle"s last day here." "I"ll make him board the train tomorrow." "But Puneet.." " Munmun, it"s the day of my opening shot." "Don"t spoil my mood today." " Mummy." "Take uncle along for the opening shot." "Ayush." "What?" "What will he do there?" "I"m taking Ayush to the birthday party.." "..you"re going for the opening shot." "Who will cook for uncle, me?" "It"s better you take uncle to the party." "Get him something to eat there." "He"ll get to see some actors and actresses." "He"ll be happy, and praise us in the village." "Hey.." "Munmun." "How can I take uncle along?" "Where do we have to go, son?" "Just tell me, I"ll be ready." "With the grace of Goddess and your support.." ".."Pachaas" will be the most expensive film.." "..in the history of Indian films." "We"ve erected a set worth 50 lakhs just for the opening shot." "Sir, would you tell us something about the story." "Story.." "Puneet." "Hello." "Hello." "You"ve written a wonderful story, sir." "Isn"t he the one?" " Just a minute, gentleman." "Aren"t you the one?" " Please wait a minute." "Just a minute, we"re getting pictures taken, please." "Pappu!" "It"s really nice." " Actually.." "Pappu!" " Could you add some more to this for me?" "I think.. he"s calling you." " Excuse me." "Uncle, don"t call me Pappu here." "People know me here as Puneet." " Okay, fine." "Isn"t he the one?" "That ""How many were they"" man." "Isn"t he the one?" " Yes." "Please introduce me to him." "I"m a great fan." "Come." "Sir." "My uncle." "Hello." " Hello, Kaalia." "Hello." "My name is Viju Khote." " See that." "Even the name is Khote (fake)." "It feels so wonderful." " Okay." "You"re such a fine actor." "Wow." " Thank you." "Your contribution to Indian cinema is incomparable." "Thank you." " And your performance in "Sholay"." "That"s simply wonderful." "Please say those dialogues." "Please say those dialogues." """Chief, I"ve been loyal to you.""" "No, no not that." """How many were they?" " Two chief.""" "Say it again, once again." """How many were they?" " Two chief.""" "Wow." "Your contribution to Indian cinema is incomparable." "Thank you." "Please say it once again." """How many were they?" " Two chief.""" "Sir, my shot is ready I"ll be.." " Please sit down, sit down." "Please say it again." """How many were they?" " Two chief.""" " Two, wow." "Yes, we"ll take your leave now." " Your performance was wonderful." "Yes, the shot.." " ""How many were they?""" "Welcome." " How are you Taneja." "Welcome." "Welcome." "Move aside." "Move aside." " Sir, sir." "Move aside." " Sir, one picture." "Look." "Sir, the don in our film, Don Manohar." " Yes." "This is his house." " Okay." "Sir, this set is worth 50 lakhs." "Taneja, you"re making a wonderful film." "Move aside." "Move aside." "Come on." "Puneet." " Sir." "What a wonderful script." " Thank you, thank you sir." "Taneja gave it to me at night and I read it at one go." "My mother has gone crazy." "What wonderful dialogues for the mute mother." "Thank you sir." "Thank you sir, it"s all your grace." "Keep it up, keep it up." "Come, come." "Kaalia, how many were they?" " Sir, you too." "Who was he?" " He"s a big goon." "Bigger than you?" "Wrong, he can"t be greater than you?" "A dacoit like Gabbar would send you out for looting." "He can"t be greater than you." "And yes, he would ask you." """How many were they?""" "Say it again." "Say it." """How many were they?" " Two.""" "That"s it." "That"s it." "What a wonderful performance." "Your contribution to Indian cinema is incomparable." "Excuse me. I"ll be right back." "Come, please come here." "No, no. I"ll manage." "Look who is here?" "It"s a great fortune that a great actor like you.." "..is urinating along with us." "Right." "What a performance." "And that scene in Sholay.." "Say it again." """How many were they?" " Two.""" "And we"re three, yet we"re urinating." "His contribution to the Indian cinema has been.." "Where did he go?" "Puneet I"m fed up of your uncle." "He keeps asking ""How many were they?""" """How many were they?""" "So tell him." " But I did tell him." """How many were they?" " Two." "Two.""" "That"s four" "Kaalia." "He has troubled me a lot." "If you find him anywhere?" "Okay, everyone silence please." "I want absolute silence." "All the line cameras ready?" " Yes, sir." "Yes sir." " Very good." "Where is Viju?" "Viju?" " Sir, here I am." "Go to your mark, stand on your mark." "There"s your mark, there." "There." "Come on." " Okay sir." "Move the umbrella." "We"re standing in the sun as well." "Sir, this is the opening shot." "You"re bent down." "Down." "It"s like this." "The shot is." "Viju will come running." "You have a bomb in your hand." "You"ll throw the bomb on the set." "And as soon as you throw the bomb.." " l"ll blast it, sir." "No, no don"t blast it." "I want a pause of two seconds." "Cinematic pause." " Okay, sir." "I"ll say, one two." "So blast it after two." "When will you blast it?" " As soon as I hear two." " Very good." "I"ve to explain them the timing as well." "Ready." "Ready." "Get the clap, clap." "You should be here first." "Sorry." "Bring it on his face." "Don"t be nervous, Viju." "The scene is right, isn"t it?" " First class." "According to the script." " Yes." "Ready?" " Ready." "Hail the Goddess." "Roll sound." "And.." "And.." " Two!" "Two!" "Two!" "Sir, you didn"t ask me to switch on the camera." "I didn"t even say two." "Wonder who said two?" "Who said two?" "Sir, that.." " You, you said it." "Sir.." "Kaalia." "Kaalia." "Kaalia, you said it." "Hey, I"m Suleman." "Sorry, sorry." "The dirt.." "Hey, Kaalia." "Are you the actor or the director of the film." "Who asked you to say two?" "It isn"t my mistake." "The old man has been troubling me since." "He"s been asking ""How many were they?""" """How many were they?"" So I said two." "Couldn"t you say something else?" "Why did you have to say two?" "Where is that old man?" "Which old man?" "He"s standing right there." " This old man?" "Who are you?" "Which department are you from?" "Who are you?" "Make up, setting, junior artist?" "Which department are you from?" "Where are you from?" "Who are you with?" " l"m with Pappu." "Who is Pappu?" "Who is Pappu?" "Who is Pappu on this set?" " Pappu." "Who is Pappu?" " There he is." "Puneet, you didn"t tell me you"re Pappu." "And he"s with you." "He"s my uncle, sir." " lf he"s your uncle.." "..is he attending my wedding procession here?" "Am I getting married?" "Are we playing the bands?" "He destroyed a set worth Rs.50 lakh." "Who will pay for the reconstruction of the sets?" "Him?" "Do you know how much money Rs.50 lakh is?" "Have you ever seen it?" "They come here to eat for free at film parties, beggars." "Sir." "Please, sir, don"t abuse him." "He"s an elderly man, I apologise." "He"s like a father." "Your father could have made such a mistake as well." "If he"s like your father, then keep him at home." "Why bring him to the shoot to.." " Sir." "No need to abuse him." "If you say another word.." " What will you do?" "What will you do?" "Are you threatening me?" "Do you know your stature?" "You"re an ordinary writer, trying to threaten me." "I"m throwing you out of the film right now." "Now come to my office to collect the cheque." "Come if you have the guts." "I"ll give you nothing." "Who do you think you are?" "You"re locking horns with me.. for this old man." "You"re putting your career at stake." "I"ll see who gives you work in the industry." "Security, throw the old man out." "Throw him out." " Hey.." "No one touches him!" "Let"s go, Uncle." "Pack up." "Hail Goddess." "So, Uncle, how are you?" "How are you, dear?" "Do I look like your daughter?" " Do I look like your uncle?" "Have you ever seen yourself?" "You look like a grandma, great grandma in fact." "You don"t have much time to live." "You"re walking towards your grave." "See that, she calls me uncle." "That"s wrong, Sister." "Uncle is so young." "Be quiet or else I"ll call your papa." "What"s the matter?" " See that." "Whenever we meet, all he says is, ""l"ll call your papa""." "He"s so short-tempered." "He has high-blood pressure." "And has ordered for fritters." "You people really lose your mind after a certain age." "Nothing"s wrong with him." "After what he did yesterday at the opening shot.." "..he doesn"t have the courage to say anything." "He didn"t even gargle this morning." "And I didn"t wake up." "I was sleeping." "Now you better wake up." "You"ve lost the film already." "Before you lose anything else ask him to leave, please." "See there he is." "Please." "Please do something." "Okay." "You"re back, Uncle." "Come." "Listen, Pappu." "I need to talk to you." "I want to talk to you too." " No, listen to me first." "Look, what happened yesterday wasn"t my mistake." "I didn"t do it intentionally." "I swear on Sarla, really." "We hail from small villages, son." "We don"t know how to behave with influential people." "I don"t have any children." "But after staying with you people for so many days.." "..I felt that you aren"t Putani"s son, but mine." "And.." "I couldn"t control myself seeing you happy." "And.." "I made this mistake." "Please don"t be angry with me." "If you want I"m ready to fall at his feet." "But please forgive me." "What are you doing, Uncle?" "If my father had made the same mistake that you did.." "..would he apologise to me?" "Or would I let him apologise?" "With your blessings, I"ll find more work." "Just like Putani." "Putani had the same thinking." "Really." "Pappu hasn"t changed after coming to the city." "I"ll tell everyone when I go back to the village?" "When will you go back?" " l mean, when will you go back?" "Tell me in advance, because.." "..we need to book the ticket two months in advance." "Yes son, I will tell you two months in advance." "I won"t trouble you anymore." "Daughter-in-law, I"ve brought sweets." "Make me a cup of tea." """l"ve lost my peace.""" """l"ve lost all my happiness.""" """Look how sad you"ve made us that we"re crying.""" """l wonder when you"ll leave.""" """The pleasant night has passed away.""" """Wonder when you"ll leave.""" """The pleasant night has passed away.""" """Wonder when you"ll leave.""" """l"ve lost my peace.""" """l"ve lost all my happiness.""" """Look how sad you"ve made us that we"re crying.""" """Wonder when you"ll leave.""" """The pleasant night has passed away.""" """Wonder when you"ll leave.""" """Will you like it if I murder you?""" """Don"t test my patience.""" """Don"t interfere in everything.""" """What if I murder you?""" """When will you go?""" """Please let me know.""" """When will you go?""" """Do let me know.""" """l wonder when you"ll leave.""" """When will you leave?""" """The pleasant night has passed away.""" """Wonder when you"ll leave.""" """The pleasant night has passed away.""" """l wonder when you"ll leave.""" """Guest, when will you leave?""" "You ape, you"ve come here to die." "Commander, kill him." "Pardon me, brother." "He"s our guest." "And we should show respect to our guests, not disrespect." "Vibhishan, sit down." "He"s not a guest." "This guest has devastated my Ashoka gardens." "He trampled the delicate flowers.." "..of my beautiful Mandodari." "He killed my soldiers and created havoc in entire Lanka." "He has made my life hell." "First the soap, towel, bathroom, bedroom.." "..and now he has taken over the entire house." "Keeps the television switched on all night and doesn"t let us sleep." "Pappu. - ln the morning he wakes us up with his gargling." "He has created havoc in the whole house by constantly breaking wind." "I lost my work, I lost my maid, ." "..and you want me to show respect to the guest." "Sorry, Puneet." "What do you say, Mandodari?" "Don"t you know anything?" "You"re so irresponsible, you know." "Teach this guest a lesson.." "..so that he never visits anyone as a guest again." "He"s a sinner." "Okay." "Soldier, set his tail on fire." "Pappu." "Pappu." "Pappu, what are you doing?" "Cut, cut, cut." "How did Hanuman"s tail come off?" "I"ve been asking for the past three days to get a new tail." "I"ve been working with Sugreev"s tail." "What?" "Sugreev"s tail?" " Yes." "Production." " Yes, sir." "I"ll call you later." "Where is Hanuman"s tail?" " Sir, rats chewed it to shreds." "You people are just.." "Get another tail quickly." "We have to send this episode." "It is to be aired tomorrow." "Yes, sir." " l"ll do it right now, sir." "What should I do now, sir?" "You take a break." "Take a close of Ravan"s face." "Excuse me." "Here, wipe it." " Thank you." "Hi, Puneet." " Hi." "Hello, Sister-in-law." "Hey, Ayush." "He insisted on watching Hanuman"s shooting." "You did the right thing by coming here." "So Puneet, where are you these days?" "What happened about your film with Taneja?" "Any problems?" "I heard that a guest of yours blew up a set worth Rs.50 lakh." "Who is this guy?" "Don"t ask." "He"s a guest." "He"s been here for a month, and just refuses to leave." "We"re really in trouble." "May I help?" " What will you do?" "Hello." "Hello." "Hello." "Hello." " Uncle." "Aunt.." " Whose aunt?" "Uncle, aunt is dead." "What happened?" " Uncle, she was crossing the road and a dog bit her." "Dog bit her?" "The dog died and so did aunty.." " The dog is dead?" "Uncle, come quickly." "Aunty.." "Who is this?" "Uncle, take the next train." "The dead body is right before me." "She"s waiting for you." "Come quickly, uncle." "Come quickly." "What?" "Who is this?" " Uncle." "Uncle." "Hello.." "Sarla." " What an act?" "Now watch the fun." "He"ll take the next train out of here." "You think so." " l think so." "Sir, sir." "Uncle." " What"s wrong with uncle?" "He dashed off wearing his loin cloth." "Was he worried?" " Completely worried." "Good." "Your phone is ringing." "Hello." "Pappu." "Pappu." "What"s wrong, Uncle?" " Thank God you"re here." "There"s a problem, son." " What happened, Uncle?" "Dear, I was sitting at home and watching television.." "..when I received a call, that Sarla, your aunt.." "..has been bitten by a dog, and she passed away." "Uncle, then what are you doing here?" "You should be in the village along with aunt. lsn"t it, Puneet?" "Yes." " With aunt?" "How could I?" "She left five years ago." "Where?" " To the heavenly abode." "What are you saying?" " Yes." "That"s when I realised that some prankster is troubling me." "I saw his number on your phone and came to the police station." "And the inspector has arrested that prankster." "Take a look." "Please, sir." "Please, sir." "Please, I"m an actor." "Please don"t hit on the face." " And I"m an inspector." "Please." "Please, Inspector." "Look Pappu." "I"m telling you.." "Puneet." "Puneet, thank God you"re here." "Please explain them." " Pappu, you know him." "He"s my friend." "How many times have I told you.." "..not to play such pranks, people get worried." "What?" "But I did all this.." " Quiet." "Quiet." "Did you have to trouble my uncle?" "Sister-in-law, please explain it to them, please." "Brother, we didn"t expect this from you." "He"s dressed up as Lord Hanuman.." "..and his deeds are like those of Ravan." "Inspector, slap him once more." "Right, look here." "Look here." "Sir, are you done?" "Our shoot has been stalled." "The telecast is scheduled for tomorrow." " Be quiet." "Sir, sir." "Sir, the telecast is scheduled for tomorrow." "Hey, aren"t you the one I met at the Buddha garden." "And, he.. he"s your friend." "Slap him once more, once more." "Let him go, sir." "He won"t do it again." "You won"t play such pranks again, won"t you?" "But Sister-in-law, I did all this.." "Slap him once more, sir." "Once more." "It"s almost done, sir." "Only the last two slaps are left, sir." "Puneet." "Today I"ve realise that I made a big mistake by marrying you." "Yes, I"m paying for the mistake that I made by marrying you." "I"m leaving." "Take care of your child and house alone." "Fine, go and don"t come back." "Yes, I won"t come back." "Finally my eyes have opened." "Did you take sleeping pills before getting married?" " Daughter-in-law." "Daughter-in-law, where are you going." "Wait, Daughter-in-law." "Uncle, please move aside." "All my friends had warned me against marrying him." "Then why didn"t you listen to them." "Listen to me.." " Be quiet, Uncle." "That Bhatinda girl was much better compared to you." "Bhatinda girl?" "Which Bhatinda girl?" "You lied to me, didn"t you?" "You liar." "I will.." "Uncle." "You hit my uncle." "You hit my respected uncle." "It"s your fault." "Why did you duck?" "What happened, dear?" "Tell me what happened?" "Ask her." " You tell me." "Uncle, don"t ask me, ask him." "Fine, both of you tell me what"s wrong." "Uncle, she has a friend in Delhi." "She"s getting married day after tomorrow." "And she wants both of us to go there." "She wants me to leave you alone and come with her." "Who will take care of your diet?" "So I said, if I tell uncle how important it is.." "..for us to go, then uncle will leave for Gorakhpur." "I will never tell uncle to go." "Uncle, please explain him." "You aren"t going forever." " Yes." "Daughter-in-law is right." "But.." " Daughter-in-law is absolutely right." "And you"ll throw daughter-in-law out of the house.." "..for such a trivial reason." "Had Putani been alive today he would"ve died again seeing this." "Apologise." "Apologise to daughter-in-law." "Sorry." " Sorry." "See that, you fool." "Daughter-in-law, I apologise on his behalf." "You"re absolutely right, dear." "I"ll leave tomorrow morning." "Fine." "But, the ticket has to be booked two months in advance, so.." "I"ve booked the ticket." "I"ve booked it." "Uncle." " Uncle, you"re leaving." " Don"t leave, Uncle." "Please, don"t leave." "We"ll cancel our program." "Uncle, don"t go." " We"ll cancel our program, please.." "Uncle, water." " Please, Uncle, don"t leave." "Here"s 11 rupees." " For the water?" "Puneet, please tell him." " This is for you." "Please ask him not to go." " Dear, this is for you." "Thank you, Uncle, please don"t leave." " And son, this is for you." "And give this to your friend on her marriage." "Please don"t leave uncle, we"ll miss you." "Who will teach Ayush Hindi?" "Uncle, please." " No, Uncle." "Uncle.. will have to leave." "He"ll keep visiting us." "You will visit us, won"t you, uncle?" " But still Uncle." "Please stay back Uncle." " Fine." "There"s the signal, there"s the signal, Uncle." "The signal has been given." " Come, son." "You"re going, uncle." "You"re leaving." "Uncle is leaving." " Uncle, please don"t go." "Uncle, please don"t go." " Please stay back." "Don"t go, Uncle." "Don"t go." "Don"t stop, Uncle." "Don"t go, Uncle." "Don"t stop, Uncle." "Leave." "Let"s go." "Yes." "Uncle, don"t stop, go away and don"t come back." "Enough, don"t over-react." "I"m so happy." "Thank God." " Thank God." "What a relief?" " Yes." "The house looks so good, doesn"t it?" " Yes." "Pappu?" "Pappu, you"re back?" " You"re back." "Yes, son." " Why?" "Why?" " What could I do?" "Daughter-in-law sad face was haunting me." "And I thought, ""l"m such a selfish and sly person""." "I"m breaking my children"s heart for my own interest." "Just because the both of you are going to Delhi.." "..and there"s no one to cook for me." "Who cooks for me in Gorakhpur, tell me?" "Sarla is no more." "I cook for myself." "That"s it." "I jumped off at Thana station, and came here." "And your neighbour opened the door for me." "Now both of you can comfortably go to Delhi." "It"s just a matter of few days, I"ll handle it." "Go on." "Okay." "Come on, come on." "Where are we going?" " To Delhi?" "Which of our relative lives in Delhi?" "Your friend, who"s getting married." "Don"t joke." "I"m joking!" "Who asked you to overact?" """Uncle don"t go, uncle don"t go."" Now pay the price." "I only said it so that he feels that we"re sad." "We"re sad now, happy?" "Sir, we"ve been roaming for the past half an hour." "Tell me where you want to go." "Take us to some hotel." "Which one?" " That one, that one." "Take us to that hotel." " That"s a cheap one." "Do we look rich to you?" "Take us there." " Yes." "Idiot." "Rs.3000 per day." "Two day"s tariff in advance." "I want to go, see uncle." " What?" "I want to go, see uncle." " Be quiet." "He"s just a child, don"t scold him." "Why shouldn"t l?" "It"s all because of him?" """When will a guest come home?""" "Are you happy now?" "That"s not right." " Quiet, don"t even utter uncle"s name." "We"re sitting in the hotel because of him.." "..and God knows what he"s doing at home." "That"s not right." " Yes, whatever." """Don"t break the bonds of love.""" """Once broken, they can never be restored.""" """Even if they are, they"ll be full of knots.""" """Once broken, they can never be restored.""" """Even if they are, they"ll be full of knots.""" """Speak words that sanctify your thoughts.""" """Those calm others, and calm you too." """Those calm others, and calm you too." """Bless us with enough space.""" """That can fit the entire family in.""" """May I never stay hungry or anyone.." "..return hungry from my threshold.""" """May I never stay hungry or anyone.." "..return hungry from my threshold.""" """When I set out to find evil, I couldn"t find any.""" """When I looked into my heart I realised I was the most impure.""" """When I set out to find evil, I couldn"t find any.""" """When I looked in my heart I realised I was the most impure.""" "Run." " What"s wrong, Puneet?" "The police have raided the place." "After polishing off the liquor.." "..there"s nothing left to do, but go home and sleep it off." "Breathe out." "Exhale." "Breathe normally." "The police conducted a late night raid.." "..and caught some people committing a shameful act." "We"re standing right outside.." "Outside a hotel in Andheri.." "..where the police conducted a late night raid.." "..and caught some people committing a shameful act." "Let me tell you there are models and students.." "..involved in this and also an innocent mother." "And she has a six year old son." "Just imagine how the innocent mother would"ve felt." "And now, we"ll show you a glimpse of that cruel man." "Take a close look at this man." "He has put humanity to shame." " Take a good look at this man." "Don"t be taken by his innocent looks." "He could be anywhere around you." "Take a good look, he should be hanged." "Your phone is ringing." "Hello." " Pappu." "Where are you son?" " ln the marriage?" "In the marriage?" " But son, I don"t hear the band playing." "Do you hear it now?" " Okay." "Okay." "They are showing something on television that really scared me." "They"re showing a vile man who looks just like you." "And he took undue advantage of a mother.." "..of a six year old child, you know." "She"s the mother of a six year old child." "He"ll surely rot in hell." "Are you fine, son?" " Yes, Uncle." "Okay, it"s been so many days let me speak to daughter-in-law." "She"s getting henna applied on her hands." "Okay." "Then let me talk to my prince." "Give the phone to Ayush." "The guests are here, the guests are here." "Get the sweets." "Uncle, I"ll call you later." "Get the sweets." "Okay, son." "You"re attending a marriage." "Did you recognise me?" "We were together when the police raided that place." " No." "Then it must be Shalimar hotel." "When you were with a Nepali girl." "No." "Then, Krishna Lodge?" "Vrindavan Hotel." "Night Club." " This is my first time." "First time?" "25th time, Chatwal." "Silver jubilee." "The officer will be here." "Give him Rs.200, he"ll let you go." "I"ll talk to him, I know him." " Lock them all up." "Sir." " Come on, get in, get in." "In a line." "Hey, where are you going?" "Stand in your place." "Hello, inspector." "How are you?" "Hello, you"re back again?" " Yes." "Stand straight." "Patil, Chatwal is back again." "Get in." "Sir, he"s a good friend." "So don"t beat him too much." "Do you pay us?" " Get in." "Get in!" " l"ve told them, they won"t hit you too much." "Show me your face." "Show me your face." "Show it." "You?" "Here again?" " Sir, I got trapped." "No, you"ll get trapped now." "I"ve had my eyes on you for a long time." "Sir, I"m a decent man." " Decent?" "Sir, he"s the one who took advantage.." "..of the helpless mother of a six year old." " What?" "No, no she"s my wife." "Munmun, tell them that you"re my wife." " Don"t scare her." "No, I"m not scaring here." "Tell him, please." "Tell him, what are you doing.." " l"m Jamila." "Here I am." " Say something." "is there a need to say anything?" "Everyone has seen me with you." "is it my fault?" " ls it my fault?" "You couldn"t even find a good hotel." "You"re so irresponsible." "How would I know?" " So, should I have known?" "I don"t know why I married you." "Hey, don"t quarrel here." "Where do the both of you live?" " ln our house." "I mean, Goregaon." "It"s your own home, isn"t it?" " Yes." "Then what were the both of you doing in the hotel?" "It"s a long story." " Then say it in short." "Have you ever had a guest visiting you?" "Don"t remind me of that." "Who was it?" " My father-in-law." "How many days?" " He stayed for six months." "How did you get rid of him?" "You won"t tell anyone, will you?" " No." "I gave a contract to the underworld." "They got him out, in a day." "There, that"s him." "He"s buying vegetables." "Just threaten him, don"t beat him." "He"s an old man." "Don"t worry your uncle is my uncle." " Boss." "Leave your gun behind." "Scared, that I might kill him?" "No, he might kill you." "Yes." "Fine." "Look." "Thank you." "What"s the rate of the apple?" " Rs.100 per kilo." "We buy mangoes for Rs.20." "If you get mangoes for Rs.20, then better buy mangoes." "Why are you buying apples?" "Where do these people come from to ruin my business?" "I"ve come from Gorakhpur." "Where do you hail from?" "Why you.." "Sorry." "Look, there"s Suleiman." "Are you joking?" "Anyone wearing a cap and a dot of vermilion on the head.." "..and you think he"s Suleiman." "I feel it"s him." " l don"t think so." "I"ve seen him." "His men killed Anna." " Are you sure?" "Kill him." " Then get the stuff, come on." "Aren"t you Suleiman?" " Yes he is, kill him." "Your men killed Anna, isn"t it?" "Yes, kill him." "Are you sure, he"s Suleiman." " Yes, kill him." "Ramu." "What are you looking at, I"m calling you." "See that." "Can"t you see?" "Are you drunk?" "I"ve been waiting for you for so long, where have you been?" "I.." " Quiet!" "Quiet!" "I"ve been standing in the sun with the things." "And he"s strolling around." "Where have you been?" " l.." "I.." " Quiet." "Now he"ll argue with me." "Here, take these things." "Take it." "And take the ones that are there too." "He"s a rascal." "Not that one, pick up our things." "Pick up our things." "And why have you surrounded us?" "Go, go home." "Son, this isn"t a place to play hockey." "Go and play hockey in the ground." "Go, go, go on." "Come on, come on." "All free-loaders." "Come on." "Let"s go." "So Yadav, you thought he was Suleiman." " Yes." "Yadav, you think anyone can do that to Suleiman." " No." "What yes and no?" "You would"ve made me kill poor Ramu.." "..and the boss would"ve killed me." " Yes." "Keep the stuff inside, come on keep it inside." "It isn"t that heavy, Ramu." "Walk quickly." "Walk quickly." "Keep it here." "Hello." " Hello." "Carefully." "Where did you get this man from?" "is he a new appoint?" "Where are you from?" "Catch this." "1000. 1300." "Twenty." "Here, keep this Rs.10." "And buy yourself some milk with it." "May you be healthy." "But I"m not Ramu." " l know that you"re Suleiman." "Then why did you make me carry these things?" "had I not made you carry these things.." "..you"d be dead by now." "Why do you do such deeds?" "is this why your parents raised you?" "See that." "He keeps locking horns with everyone." "If you had lost your life you would regret it all your life." "Will you do it again?" "No, catch your ears." "Fine." " Touch his feet." "He forgave you." "Touch his feet." "Forgive me, Uncle." "From today you"re my uncle." "Forgive him." " Fine." "Uncle, now I"ll see to it that no one harms you." "I"m there." " See that." "He can"t even protect himself, and proposes to protect me." "When a few boys surrounded him he was scared out of his wits." "And he"ll protect me." "Go on." "Leave, or I will hit you." "Leave." "He wants to protect me." "Buy yourself some milk from Bajrangi"s shop." "They"re such strange people." " Pick up the things." "Pick them up." "This is wrong." "If it weren"t for uncle, I"d be dead today." "And you want to get rid of him." "Guest is like God." "And now he isn"t just your guest, but mine too." "Then you keep him." " He isn"t that special." "Go home, and look after him." "Send some of our men after him." "If he throws uncle out of the house, then kill him." "How can you take it away?" "The owner.." "Pappu.." "They just took it away." "Pappu, they took your car away." " l know." "The bank called me this morning." "Ayush." "They just came, gave me these papers and took the car away." "I said that the owner of the car.." "Papa, our car." "Son, it"s gone to the garage." "It"s broken down, that"s why." "It hasn"t gone to the garage." "They took our car away because you didn"t pay for it." "That"s what Raju"s father is telling everyone." "You"re a liar, I don"t want to talk to you." "Ayush." "He"ll come back." "Look, son." "Today the festival of Lord Ganesha begins.." "..and the both of you were in Delhi." "So I brought and idol of Lord Ganesha home." "Lord has come here, but only as a guest." "He"ll stay here only for 11 days." "But when he leaves, he"ll take all the problems with him." "I"ve only one problem." "Lord Ganesha is there." "He"ll solve all your problems." "The Lord will leave in 11 days." "But when is he going to leave?" "I know that guests are like God." "But Their duty is to come, bless His devotees.." "..with His grace and leave." "Goddess Durga comes only for nine days in "Navratri"." "Lord Ganpati will be immersed after 11 days." "But when will he leave." "God, I can"t take this anymore." "Do you know why we venerate Lord Ganesh first?" " Why?" "One day Lord Ganesh and Kartike had an argument.." "..about who"s more intelligent." "Then they approached their parents." "To Shankar-Parvati." "Lord Shiva said ""whichever one of you.." "..will be known as the most intelligent one""." "So what happened next?" " They had a race." "They had a race." "Kartike"s carrier was peacock." "So he flew away on his peacock." "Lord Ganesha, thought for a moment." "He used his intelligence." "He took the blessings of his parents." "And His carrier is.." "The mouse." " Mouse." "He sat on the mouse, and took seven rounds around his parents." "They asked him, ""What did you do""." "He replied, ""Whether you call it earth, or my world.." "..my parents are everything for me""." "Lord Shankar was very pleased to hear this." "He said, ""Ganesh, whenever there"s a veneration performed.." "..anywhere in the world, you will be venerated first""." "Otherwise, that veneration won"t be successful." "That"s why, Lord Ganesha is the God of Gods." "Because he respects his parents." "Son, there"s nothing greater than your parents in the world." "Get it." "So say, glory to.." " Lord Ganesha." """Oh, Lord Ganesh, the giver of the joys and the destroyer of sorrows.""" """Who waives off calamity whose blessing gives enough love.""" """His body is resplendent with a beautiful orange color.""" """He has a pearl necklace shining around his neck.""" """Pray to this auspicious idol, praise the Lord.""" """At mere glimpse of him, all of your wishes come true.""" """Praise the Lord.""" """The jeweled crown is for You, oh, son of Paravati.""" """With sandalwood paste smeared on His body.." """..and saffron red color on His forehead.""" """That jeweled crown looks beautiful.""" """The bells of the anklets make a lovely tinkle on Your feet.""" """The bells of the anklets make a lovely tinkle on Your feet.""" """The bells of the anklets make a lovely tinkle on Your feet.""" """Pray to this auspicious idol, praise the Lord.""" """At mere glimpse of Him, all of your wishes come true.""" "No, no we can"t release your car." "You"re three months instalment is due." "Sir, I"m paying two months instalment." "No, nothing can be done." "Sir, I"ve promised my child." "Why do you make such false promises?" "Look, the manager is very strict." "He"ll never understand." "Pappu." "Didn"t you recognise me?" "I"m Niranjan, Niranjan Tripathi." "I came to your home with uncle Lambodar." "Dukhbhanjan, Ranjan, Niranjan." "And he called me Manoranjan." "Did you recognise me now?" ""l follow only one principle."" ""Greet everyone with a smile."" ""We should never fall short of friends."" "I"m the manager here." "Patil, come here." " ""Praise the Lord.""" "Arrange for tea, he"s my acquaintance." "He writes for films." " Yes." "Come, take a seat." " l"ll order for tea." "Come, come take a seat." """Praise the Lord.""" """Praise the Lord.""" """Praise the Lord.""" """Praise the Lord.""" "What did you teach your child that he has turned so brilliant?" "He has scored 85 out of 100 in Hindi." "Gayatri Mantra, Shlokas." "He recites discourses, which even we don"t remember." "When I asked him, ""who taught you, son""." "He said, ""uncle""." "Who is this uncle, I would like to meet him as well." "Very nice, very nice." "He"s a very nice boy." """Pray to this auspicious idol, praise the Lord.""" """At mere glimpse of Him, all of your wishes come true.""" """With a big belly, a yellow silk garment..""" """..and a serpent around His waist.""" """A straight trunk that is bent at the end, and three eyes.""" """Ramdas awaits You at his doorstep.""" """God, please bless us when there is trouble and protect from disaster.""" "I"m standing before you." "Give me the offerings." "Puneet, you knew my parents were here." "My mummy can"t see properly." "She mistakenly knocked down a vase." "It was an imported one." "My wife got it from Dubai." "My wife insulted them." "He yelled at them." "They kept crying, and listening to the rebukes.." "..and I kept watching." "When I got up in the morning, I found out.." "..that they went back without telling me." "Today I realised what a lowly man I am." "There"s me, I quietly kept listening.." "..when my parents were getting rebuked at." "And there"s you, that left his career.." "..just because I said something to your uncle." "I respect you." "I"m sorry." "I"m a coward." "At home l"m scared of my wife." "Outside I"m scared of the hero." "When the movie releases in the theatre on Friday.." "..I"m scared of the audience." "I"m sorry." "What are you saying, sir?" "You"re my senior." "I"m senior, but I"m junior to you in abiding by relations." "Here"s the cheque, for the movie." "And I"m making another film, "Baghban" type." "Here"s the signing amount." "I"ve talked to Mr. Amit." "Tomorrow I"m going to bring my parents back." "I"ll come back the next day," "The day after that we"ll go to Khandala for the sitting." "And we"ll come back on the fourth day with a super-hit idea." "I completely trust my talent and your laptop." "Uncle." "Hello." "What can I say?" "Macmohan is asking for you." """Praise the Lord.""" """Praise the Lord.""" """Praise the Lord.""" """Pray to this auspicious idol, praise the Lord.""" """At mere glimpse of him, all of your wishes come true.""" """With a big belly, a yellow silk garment..""" """..and a serpent around His waist.""" """A straight trunk that is bent at the end, and three eyes.""" """Ramdas awaits You at his doorstep.""" """God, please bless us when there is trouble.." """..and protect from disaster.""" """Praise the Lord.""" """Praise the Lord.""" "Come on." "Where are they?" " We left them right here." "Ayush, come." " Where were you?" "Uncle?" " Where is Uncle?" "I"ve been looking for him." "I went to get balloons for Uncle." "I asked him to stay here." "Wonder where he is." "Where could he be?" "Let"s look." "You look that way, I"ll look for him here." " Fine." "Ayush, stay with me." "Did uncle come back?" " No, he went along with you." "Have you heard, there has been a stampede.." "..at Juhu during Ganesh immersion." "There was a chaos suddenly." "Many were injured." "The situation is very bad." "They"re showing it on television." "It"s truly regretful for this to happen.." "..on such an auspicious occasion." "You can see the photographs.." "..of this place, for the first time only on our channel." "People here are looking for their family member." "There"s no.." "You can see the bad condition that is here." "Uncle." "Save him, save him." "I"ll go take a look." "You stay here." "You go sir, he"ll be absolutely fine." "I"m there." "I"ll come along as well." "Manasi Joshi, along with cameraman Santosh." "News of every moment only for you." "Come on, come on." "Move back." "If you want to see the injured, go to Cooper hospital." "Go there." "Let"s go." "Lambodar." " There"s no one by that name." "Go to Nanavati, the dead bodies have been taken there." "Lambodar." " There"s no one by that name." "Go to Nanavati, the dead bodies have been taken there." "People have died?" "Go on." "No he hasn"t returned yet." "His luggage is here as well." " Where are you?" "On my way to Nanavati hospital." "The dead bodies have been kept there." "His name isn"t amongst the one injured." "God." "I hope he"s alive." " My God." "Did you find out anything?" "They haven"t retrieved the bodies from the sea yet." "We"ll know in the morning." "Isn"t this what we wanted?" "For uncle to leave." "Now that he has left, why are we worried?" "Puneet, you"ve been so irresponsible." "No, no." "Pappu don"t pay him." "He"s asking for too much." "The fare from the station to here is just Rs.1 7." "Liar." "The fare is just Rs.1 7." "Where have you been?" " Son, I was.." "Where have you been all night?" "I searched for you at Juhu, but couldn"t find you." "Then I went to V.T." "To buy a ticket." "See this, I stood in the queue all night.." "..and reached the ticket window only in the morning." "But that"s okay." "I bought a "Tatkal" ticket, and I"m leaving tomorrow." "Okay." "Couldn"t you call?" "Do you know what we"ve been through all night?" "What happened?" "Ayush spent all night crying." "Your daughter-in-law, that Godbole." "Do you know how worried they all were?" "That watchman whom you had slapped." "His duty ends at eight but he didn"t go home all night." "We were searching for you like crazy.." "..and you couldn"t even inform us?" "Forgive me." "I did have your number, it was in my diary." "But the diary fell down somewhere." "I thought if I tell you, you"ll ask me to stay back again." "I"ve stayed here for long enough." "How long does a guest stay back, son." "The Goddess leaves in nine days." "Lord Ganesha left in 11 days." "Uncle, I didn"t.." " Just a minute, Mun." "Wait here." "You leave right now, we can"t wait until tomorrow." "I made a big mistake, I apologise son." "I apologise to you." "We made a mistake." "Puneet, calm down." " Just a minute, Munmun." "She looked after you for so many days but you don"t care about that." "Just because you overheard her saying something once, ." "..it"s our mistake." "We don"t have the patience or the culture.." "..to welcome guests at our home." "Please leave." "Listen, son. I.." " Please leave." "We never wanted any guests to visit us." "But he, he never understood." "He would always keep asking.." """When will the guest arrive?""" "You came, and we liked it." "But for how many days?" "After four days we wondered, ""When will he leave?""" "I always wished, if my father were alive he"d live with us." "But had my father been in your place.." "..we would"ve behaved the same way with him." "The parents can keep the children with them for all their lives." "But children start thinking, ""When will they leave""." "Our son will do the same thing with us in future." "And we deserve it." "Please leave." "Please leave." "Just like Putani." "Putani would start crying just like that." "You"re right, son." "But a guest should understand his duty." "He wont be respected like God if he stays back for so many days." "And even the Lord leaves after 11 days." "And that"s why we wait eagerly for Him." "And we ask him come back soon." "I will come back again next year, son." "I will come back." "I won"t be able to stay away from all of you for long." "Really." "Stop, stop, stop." "Puneet, what"s wrong?" "Why is there a crowd here?" "Hello." " Uncle." "Who are you?" " l"m Putani"s son, didn"t you recognise me?" "Pappu." "Pappu?" " Yes." "So aren"t you Pappu?" " You made me Pappu." "Oh, God.. son, I barged into the wrong house." "What was your address?" "It was written room no. 703." "A wing or B wing?" " l don"t know that." "But Madhuri just wrote room no. 703." "Actually, our room numbers are same.." "..but they"re in different wings." "You rascal, your guest has been staying in our house.." "..for the past one month, and you"ve been watching the fun." "Sorry, but didn"t l tell you.." "..that I"m troubled by the frequent visits by my guests." "So I went out for month as a guest myself." "That"s okay, son." "Thank God I met you otherwise.." "..I would"ve left without meeting the real Pappu." "That"s okay." " You"re leaving, Uncle." "I"m leaving." " Okay." "No, no how is that possible?" "You"ll have to stay with the real Pappu for few months." "Yes, Uncle." " Otherwise Putani"s soul won"t rest in peace." "Yes, yes." "Yes." "Sarla." "You speak just like Sarla." "Pappu." " Yes, Uncle." "Yes." " Not you, the real Pappu." "Pick up the luggage, son." "And touch his feet."