"hot lives." "Black Friday." "join with us." "You can't die!" "Everybody really likes you!" "We are not going to be beat by that traitor whore Kenny!" "Seems a shame that the fight will be so one-sided." "Go seek out George R. R. Martin for answers." "He writes Game of Thrones." "and your wife queefed in your face." "Tom." "wiener wiener..." "One wiener" "Next to another wiener" "Wiener party" "Two wieners" "Alongside yet another wiener" "Dangle softly" "Soft wieners Nice and soft" "Non-erect wieners flopping wieners..." "He did what?" "He flew down in a parachute and he what?" "he stopped Microsoft from blockading the shipment of PS4s." "He's all over the place winning the console wars for Sony." "Because what?" "Because he's cute?" "He's got everyone on Sony's side." "We can't stop him." "besides that he's cute?" "Bill Gates is on the phone for you." "Mom!" "Mom?" "Don't seriously tell him that." "Tell him everything's cool and I'll call him." "This would have never happened if you had let Kenny be a princess." "He's not a princess." "He's a dude!" "he's now on the other side." "We're out of options." "Kyle?" "– I have an idea." "but I think it's the only choice we have. 268)}holiday shoppers are really getting antsy." "268)}People have been waiting out here since midnight on Thanksgiving. 268)}and there's already been a lot of bloodshed over these deals. is that correct?" "that's right." "We had to eat him. 268)}he drew the shortest one." "268)}What is it you're hoping to get when Black Friday does finally start?" "268)}A Blu-ray player." "268)}96 % off." "It's gonna be about 20 bucks." "some people might say that eating your child 268)}is not very Christmassy." "268)}What would you say to them?" "268)}I... 268)}Ate my son for a Blu-ray player ho and a jingle jingle jingle and he tasted good jingle ho-ho" "268)}No doubt Christmas is alive and well at the South Park Mall." "Tom." "Here's the deal." "The main entrance is already blocked by thousands of waiting shoppers." "here." "Our best chance of being first inside here." "– At Red Robin." "– That's right!" "Red Robin has doors on the inside that go right out into the mall." "The key to us being the first ones is taking over the Red Robin before Black Friday starts." "How do we take over Red Robin?" "I have no idea." "excuse me." "and they want to switch sides." "What?" "– Go ahead and tell him." "– All right." "we hereby lay down our arms." "We give up." "Shut up!" "This is very difficult!" "You guys win." "We'll all play on PlayStation 4s. and Kenny became a Japanese princess." "Nobody saw that coming." "The truth is and you know it." "We won't get anything if we don't work together against the other shoppers." "is that it?" "I think we'll take our chances on our own." "We know a way inside the Red Robin." "You're not the only ones who thought of it." "and we figured out how." "Red Robin can be rented out for wedding parties." "we can have a wedding party there." "That could work!" "Let's do this together." "Our only shot at playing any next-gen console's by teaming up." "then I do too." "And you swear you'll be OK with that?" "You won't ever talk about the Xbox being better again?" "Stan." "All right." "Looks like we've got a wedding to plan." "please come home at once." "Our two houses have found peace." "and we will all accept you as the princess you are." "the Wizard King." "I was hoping I could talk to you about the wedding." "what about it?" "When the time comes for the mall to open you should stay back a bit from the doors." "– Why?" "– Think about it." "The first people inside will take on the brunt of the shoppers from the main entrance." "It's best we let Butters and Scott Malkinson go first." "we can simply slip on by. but Butters and Scott won't be able to get their PS4s." "That's true..." "Ser Stan." "This is all about you and me getting PlayStations." "The rest are simply there to help..." "He's lying to you!" "but it's a double-bluff." "Dude!" "Dude!" "They're going to betray you at the Red Robin wedding." "He got the idea watching Game of Thrones." "shut the fuck up!" "– Who is that?" "– An old crazy guy." "He's pissed off that I'm here." "They'll lock you in!" "shut up!" "He talked about it in my garden to three other people." "They'll lock you in the Red Robin and go get all the Xboxes." "That's why he wants you to stay back." "Why don't you tell the whole world everything?" "Go and tell what Prometheus was about while you're at it!" "Kyle knew about this?" "We're not gonna betray you." "Come on!" "Even the writers of Prometheus didn't know what that was about." "Did Kyle know about this?" "Kyle thought of it." "Hold on!" "Xbox One is fucking sweet!" "You're a fucking asshole!" "Fuck you!" "Get out of my garden." "– I'll shit in your fucking garden!" "– Go fuck yourself!" "and Black Friday is finally here." "Niles." "Tom." "Mall officials have said they are ready." "268)}And doors will open as soon as their guest of honor cuts 268)}the ceremonial red ribbon. 268)}but says he is on his way." "he is on his way." "Just hold on a minute." "I'm pretty sure the fastest way back to Colorado isn't on horseback." "but horses have one quality that is unmatched by any other mode of transportation." "What's that? and another one for the bride and groom?" "I heard a rumor." "May I ask..." "Who is it that's getting married?" "Tom Hanks and Beyoncé." "It's for real?" "– I love them!" "– Cool." "So Beyoncé is not with Jay-Z anymore?" "She wouldn't be marrying Toms Hanks if she was." "not those tables." "Get the good tables." "This is VIP." "Has anyone heard from Butters and Scott Malkinson?" "I heard that Stan somehow found out about our plan!" "He did." "now!" "It's fine." "Everything's been taken care of." "ever again." "What the hell did you do?" "so that we can play on Xboxes." "Tell me you didn't." "He's not allowed out of his room." "You can talk to him through the door." "Thanks." "And keep it short." "He's in real trouble." "He defecated in a nice old man's garden." "– Who's that?" "– It's me." "Get outta here!" "I know you're pissed at me." "You gotta understand that I did it because I know in my heart that the Xbox is better for all of us." "You completely betrayed the last bit of friendship we still had." "You weren't playing fair." "Getting your dad to work at the mall wasn't fair." "I didn't even know he was working at the mall." "– You didn't?" "– But you couldn't just ask me." "Because Xbox people don't care about the truth." "They just care about seamless multimedia connectivity." "I'm sorry." "I'm sorry." "This whole war has just got us all so screwed up." "I just want us to be playing Call of Duty on the right machine." "You don't understand." "I'm never playing Call of Duty with you again." "– Don't say that." "– I'm done with you!" "Mom!" "Get him outta here!" "Get him out!" "listen up." "There are only eight of us now. and he did not deserve to get beheaded light that." "but I am sick and tired and then having them die!" "we all stick together." "it puts us all at risk." "rookie." "sir." "– We're gonna make it!" "You've got a newborn little girl who needs her daddy to make it." "I'm not gonna let you die!" "sir!" "Not one more good person dies on my watch." "my God!" "– They're coming in through the roof!" "I can't do this!" "– I can't do this!" "– Stay at your post!" "Everybody really liked him!" "268)}Here we go." "268)}George R. R. Martin has finally arrived to cut the red ribbon. on behalf of South Park Mall partners weather and sports." "Just do it!" "Very well! let's ring in the holidays!" "I'd like to share with you a few words about my wiener." "Red Robin is closed for a special event today." "We're with the wedding." "Great!" "Go right on in." "Everyone!" "A Black Friday toast." "How awesome that we are all friends again." "Our two houses brought together." "we will all have our PlayStation 4s!" "my old friend Princess Kenny." "You really look stunning." "No doubt the gods have smiled down upon your perky boobs." "I need to take a shit." "– What have you found out?" "– The mall isn't open yet." "They're waiting for George R. R. Martin to come cut the ribbon." "That can be a while." "blow the whistle." "We'll rush thought the doors and lock the Sony dorks inside." "I really do need to take a shit. gently you lie with me on my bed." "George R. R. Martin!" "growl calls the wiener from on high." "still so pleasing to the eye." "– Enough with the wieners already!" "– Come on!" "Where the hell is Clyde?" "I believe it's time we return the wizard's hospitality." "What is this?" "Cartman." "There's been a little change in plan." "They're about to open the mall." "What are you doing?" "I am no longer an Xbox guy." "I will get him a PlayStation." "and you know it!" "– The fight is over." "– It's not over." "Looks like I came just in time." "Kyle!" "Bill Gates!" "These children will get their PS4s." "Wait a minute." "How did these two guys end up here?" "– They're not part of your betrayal?" "– They're not part of your betrayal?" "Whose betrayal is this?" "We're done with betrayals." "It's time to put an end to this." "Operations said they need one of us to unlock the door to Red Robin to let some wedding party inside the mall." "They'll have to fend for themselves!" "Wait." "Red Robin wedding?" "– Who's getting married?" "– Tom Hanks and Beyoncé." "my God!" "Everyone loves Tom Hanks and Beyoncé!" "I gotta save them!" "but I have a better idea." "This isn't our war." "It never was." "We've been pitted against each other for the sake of marketing." "That's why they want lines around the block." "Because they want a war to promote their product." "They don't give a crap what kind of friendships it costs." "You two want a war so bad?" "Then you fucking fight." "Then let's finish it." "right here." "Winner take all." "This is pretty sweet." "Bill Gates." "what did I miss?" "Look at this wiener." "Judge it by its size." "and it has a surprise!" "you wiener-loving bitch!" "my friend." "Rebecca!" "Kiss my fat vagina!" "Give me that camera!" "Give me that!" "Get back!" "Get out of my way!" "Commander Marsh." "Did you know your son is supposed to be grounded and he snuck out to go to Red Robin?" "Stan's at the Red Robin wedding too?" "I really care about him!" "This is over." "you die!" "It's over." "Xbox wins!" "Xbox wins." "You're alive!" "I saved you!" "Beyoncé." "The fight's over." "You can still shop." "kids." "Go get your Xboxes." "Can Elmo smell your genitals?" "Happy holidays." "What can I interest you in?" "please." "Good choice! 268)}and it looks like Microsoft's new Xbox One" "268)}is this year's hot item." "268)}No doubt this will secure its place as the go-to next-gen console." "268)}Black Friday is over. 268)}and the big winner here decidedly is Channel 9 News." "The interface is pretty cool." "I told you guys." "It's really a seamless interface." "It is." "The graphics are definitely 10% better than the old Xbox." "That's pretty nice." "You guys wanna play outside or something?" "Your side won." "Why are you so sad?" "I can't get the image of Bill Gates bashing that guy's head apart out of my eyes." "I know what you mean." "Xbox won the console wars." "I mean..." "What are we gonna do?" "Not play video games? and look at what we did." "romance." "do we need video games to play?" "– That's right." "– He's trying to make a point." "Maybe we started to rely on Microsoft and Sony so much that we forgot that all we need to play are the simplest things." "Like this!" "We can just play with this!" "Screw video games!" "Who fucking needs them?" "Fuck 'em!" "285)}The South Park video game." "Coming to stores soon!" "I got a wiener to dangle in your face."