"Hey, loser, give me your lunch money." "Well, now it's time" "To get that bully off your back." "Hey, loser, give me all your lunch" "Ow." "Yes, it's the bully-proof backpack." "Its patented cartoon violence technology" "Is guaranteed to stop even the meanest of bullies." "Each backpack comes with three awesome settings." "Body blow..." "Jab..." "And speed bag." "And now you can ride the bus, eat lunch" "Or go to chess club without having your head" " Shoved into a toilet." " ( toilet flushes )" "Hey, smarty pants, gimme" "Both:" "Thanks you, bully-proof backpack!" "Man:" "The bully-proof backpack" "Available where all backpacks are sold." "Not available to bullies." " ( rings ) - ( screams ) * off to the races, I'm going places * * might be a long shot, not gonna waste it * * this is the big break and it's calling my name *" "* yeah!" "* * so far, so great, get with it * * at least that's how I see it * * having a dream is just the beginning * * so far, so great, believe it *" "* can't take away this feeling * * taking a ride with chance on my side * * yeah, I can't wait * * so far, so great * * so far, so great * * yaooww!" "*" "Man, I wish I had one of these bully-proof backpacks back in wisconsin." "Boy, you can take the girl out of wisconsin," "But you can't get the girl to stop talking about wisconsin." "( gasps ) chad, what are you doing in here?" "Tawni, that's a cardboard cutout." "You can tell it's not the real chad, because we've been with him" "For five seconds now and he hasn't mentioned his name or fix his hair." "( beeps )" "Hi, it's chad dylan cooper" "From the hit tween drama "mackenzie falls." I'm here to invite" "Computer voice:" "Sonny and tawni" "Chad's voice:" "To my chad-tastic birthday party." " When?" " This Friday night." "I hope you can make it 'cause it just wouldn't be the same without" "Computer voice:" "Sonny and tawni." "Ooh!" "Chad's birthday party." "That could be fun." "And since you don't have any plans," "Why don't you pick me up at 7:00?" "How do you know I don't have any plans?" "Fine, I'll play." "What are you doing Friday night?" "I have plans." "Okay, that was fun." "So what time are you picking me up?" "No, I'm serious." "My best friend lucy is coming into town" "For the weekend from wisconsin." "I can't believe you're saying no to me." "I knew this would happen someday," "But I always expected it to come from an efron or a timberlake." "Well, now it's coming from a munroe." "See, lucy and I just have the weekend crazy booked." "May I?" "Let's see." ""4:00-- mani-pedis."" "Ew, you touch your own feet?" "No, we do it to each other." "Ew!" ""5:15" "Watch a scary movie and eat hot wings."" "Ooh, who could eat after the feet-touching?" "This is horrifying." "It's not horrifying." "It's my fun-genda." "Ew!" "Is that contagious?" "It's not a disease." "It's a fun-sease." "Okay, you see, putting the word "fun" in front of "un-fun" words" "Doesn't make that list fun." "Maybe not to you, but these are things" "That lucy and I love to do together." "We just get each other." "( cell phone rings )" "That's lucy's ring, which means she's here." "Hey, she's early." "That means we can squeeze in a puppet show." " ( beeps ) - hi, it's chad," "And I wanted to let you know that" "Computer voice:" "Grady and nico- -Have not been invited to my chad-tastic birthday party." "If you're still interested in buying me a gift," "I'd like the following" "Here's your gift." "Hello, ladies." "Both:" "Murphy!" "Been keeping your nose clean, fellas?" "What are you doing here, murphy?" "What am I doing here?" "I'll tell you what I'm doing here." "Keeping you safe." "From what, our pizza?" "Danger comes in all sizes." "This box may have said medium," "But the threat was extra-lae." "Hand over the pie, murphy." "( both gasp )" "He took a bite out of every slice!" "You can't prove that." "No one can." "You've got tomato sauce on your shirt." "Please, I've got tomato sauce on all my shirts." "You've got a mushroom" "On your shoe!" "All my shoes have mushrooms." "You got a sausage on your" "You can't pin this on me." "You can't pin anything on me." "Except this pin." "Well, and this pin too." "But murphy" "Is not pinnable." "Murphy has gone too far this time." " Something must be done." " And not just for us," "But for everyone who's ever had a security guard eat their pizza." "So you mean just us?" "Yeah, pretty much just us." " Lucy!" " Sonny!" "I've missed you so much." "Dude, wisconsin stinks so bad without you." "Speaking of stinks," " Do I smell?" " Oh, yes, you do." "A meatball sandwich from sidell's?" "Ew, this is so disgusting." "You are the best friend ever." " No, you are." " No, you are." " You are awesome." " You are awesomer." "We are going to have the best weekend." "I cannot believe I'm actually in hollywood." "There are so many things I wanna do." "Me too." "I've got them all written down." " Fun-genda?" " You know it!" "Come on, I'll show you around." " So this is-- - the prop house." "How cool is this place?" "Oh, those are your antennas from the bee sketch." "Here, I'm working on a new character." "Tell me what you think." "Sit, sit." "Raquel from the hair salon back home." "Honey, too much blow dry." "And you no condition." "You know I can't do nothing with this" "When you no condition." "You make me cry." "( laughing )" " Brava!" " Tawni." "Oh, the things you stumble upon" "When you're hiding and hoping to stumble upon something." "And you must be the best friend I've heard just enough about." "I'm lucy." "Your majesty, it is my greatest pleasure" " To meet you." " Oh." "Lucy, she's not actually a queen." "I just said she acts like one." "Okay, we' better go." " We've got a pretty busy schedule." " Hey!" "Maybe tawni can come with." "She's not really a come with-er." "Au contraire." "When I'm invited to things, I don't pass." "Well, we're just gonna be doing things that are on my fun-genda," "Which someone implied was a dumb-genda." "She doesn't really get us." "Well, maybe lulu here" "Would rather do it up hollywood style." "Her name is lucy, and she'd rather do it up wisconsin style." "Lulu's fine, and I like all kinds of styles." "Well, then we'll do it tawni style." "Shall we?" "Come on, sonny." "All right, I think I can make this work." "I'll just have to move making dreamcatchers" "To 4:00." "Yeah." "Okay, let's review the plan." "We are gonna super spice the pizza." "You deliver the pizza." "Murphy intercepts said pizza." "He takes one bite and his mouth explodes." " Murphy will never eat our pizza again." " Huh-uh." "Not after he tastes this four-alarm baby." "Four alarms going in," "Six alarms going out." "Yo yo yo, this might be the best plan we ever hatched." "And now for the final insult" "A hint of scabanero peppers," "The hottest pepper known to man" "And security guards." "Perfecto." " Hot lips." " Huh?" " Hot lips, hot lips, hot lips!" " What's wrong?" "( shouting )" "Pizza delivery." "Hold on." "Never seen you before." "Who's it for?" "Nico and grady." "Noreen, I gotta go." "Put the box down." "Put your hands where I can see them." "( humming )" "Well, that sounds suspicious." "Man, does that mean you're gonna have to confiscate it?" " Roger that." " Okay." "Nicely done, but where's the scream?" "Three, two, one." "( screaming )" "Where are we going?" "What are we doing first?" "I can't believe we're doing hollywood things with tawni." "And don't forget, we've got dreamcatchers at 4:00" "Oh, my gosh." "What happened to you?" "Are you okay?" "Not really." "I'm" "Yo, baby!" "Who did this to you?" "Speak to me." " ( beeps ) - computer voice:" "Grady and nico." "What are you doing here?" "I am checking in on all of my cutouts," "Clearly for good reason." "So I guess I'll be seeing you at my party tonight." "Yeah, as much as I'd love to come and bask" "In the glory of your chadness, I can't make it." "So you were the no?" "You were the one person I invited who's not coming?" "Well, see, my best friend is in town" "So?" "Bring her to the party." "It just means two gifts." "Well, maybe you can understand it this way." "( imitates computer ) sonny is not coming." "Wow." "I always knew this would happen to me." "I just really expected it to come" "From a tisdale or montana." "Sonny, there you-- ( gasps )" "Oh, my chad!" "No way." "It's you." "It's him." "It's us." "If you'll excuse me," "He needs a shave." "He's even cuter than his cardboard cutout." "And did you hear he's having a birthday party?" " Everybody's been talking about it." " Really?" "Do you think maybe we could go?" "Well, I was kind of hoping" "Maybe we could hang out like we used to back home." "You know, hot wings and blindfolded makeovers." "Maybe there'll be hot wings at the party." "Or a chocolate fountain." "Well, maybe." "But I mean..." "I'd love to take you, but I don't even know of any way" "To get into that party because chad didn't invite me." "Oh, well, then forget him." "It's his loss." "We are gonna have so much fun tonight." "Because you are awesome." "( sighs ) no, I'm really not." "And now some lipstick." "You're done." "( screaming )" "( laughing )" "You look awful." "You look awfuler." "Boy, I missed doing blindfolded makeovers." "( doorbell rings )" "Both:" "Hot wings!" "Ooh, I'm gonna scare the hot wings guy." "( screaming )" "What are you doing here?" "Wondering when the circus pulled up." "Here, I guessed your size." "You can put it on in the limo." "We're all going to chad's chad-tastic birthday party." " Oh, get out!" " Yeah, what she said." "This is not happening." "I wanted to go so badly," "But sonny didn't get invited." "Of course she did." "Well, what I meant was" "I mean, you know," "We haven't spent any time alone and this was your last night," "So I figured that we would just spend it together." "So you did get invited?" "Uh..." "Pffflt." "I can't believe you lied to me." "Come on, you two." "I can't stand to see you fight." "Let me sit." "I'm really sorry, luce." " Come on, tawn." " Coming, lulu." "You guys, wait." "I'm really sorry." "Yeah, lose best friend is nowhere on this list." "( tv playing )" "Mmm." "Do I smell" " Not worse than usual." " --Pizza?" " Pizza." " Right on time!" "Give it here!" "Fully intact." "It's" "It's so beautiful." "Thank you very much." "After how we scabaneroed that other pie," "I knew murphy would never touch one of our pizzas again." "Murphy wasn't there today." "There was some other guy at the gate." " No murphy?" " Yeah." "Apparently, he's in the hospital." "Enjoy your pizza, fellas." "( clicks tongue )" "Wow!" " I wonder what he's doing in the hospital." " ( nervous laughter )" "You know, people go" "To the hospital for all sorts of reasons." "You don't think it's our fault, do you?" "Uh, no, I mean, if it was our fault," "We'd be on our way to the hospital to explain to murphy" "How it wasn't our fault." "Both:" "Our fault." "( dance music playing )" "Here we are." "Your first hollywood party." "This is so cool." "Back home the hottest party I ever went to" "Was when my grandfather retired from the gas company." "Yeah, that story-- don't tell it here." "Oh, okay, okay." "I love this song." "That dance-- don't do it here." "Okay, right." "Here, just have a frothiccino." "Thank you." "Actually, it's a chad-iccino." "Don't forget to try the shish kachad over here." "And for dessert, we're having death by chad-colate." "What's that?" "It's cake." "Oh, hey, frankie." "Excuse me." "I gotta schmooze the bonus jonas." "Mnh-mnh." "Oh, hi, I'm sonny munroe." " I'm on the list." " Munroe..." "Munroe." "Yes, here you are." "Yeah, you are on the do not allow sonny munroe" "Into this party under any circumstance list." "Come on, you've gotta let me in there." "My best friend is in there" "And we had plans to spend the whole weekend together." "Apparently you said no." "Yeah, at first, but" "Chad doesn't do no." "Don't be like chad." "Be a yes girl." "You don't understand." "Tawni made us go to melrose" "Because she doesn't like to touch her own feet." "Security!" "And we didn't even get to make dreamcatchers," "And that's why I can't leave here until I get lucy back." "You guys..." "( dance music playing )" "When my grandfather retired" "From the gas company" "This is a hilarious story." "I'm gonna reloop." "Oh, it's you." "Where's lucy?" "By the way, that's her name, not lulu or lala" "Or..." "( speaks gibberish )" "She's over there, surrounded by a bunch of boys." "I can't believe you brought her here." "I can't believe you didn't." "You're all about the fun-genda as long as it's your own." "( chuckles )" "She came to hollywood to have fun with me." "No, she came to hollywood to have fun." "How do you know what she wanted?" "Because I listened to her." "You were only hanging out with her to annoy me." "It started out that way, but then I actually started to enjoy myself." "Yeah, with my best friend." "With both of you." "But just go ahead and take lucy home, 'cause s's obviously miserable." "You know what hurts the most about all of this?" "Is that you were a better friend to her than I was." "Thank you." "Well, as long as it hurt," "It was my pleasure." "I guess there's only one thing left to do," "And that's apologize to lucy." "There she is." "Get her." "But not before I do my pre-apology run." "Oh, hey, sonny." "Glad you could make it." "Did you get me a gift?" "See, I really didn't have time to shop." " Yeah, security!" " Wait, I'm here to apologize to my best friend." "That's so sweet." "Security!" "Here, dance with chad." "Yeah." "Lucy!" "Lucy!" "Lucy!" "Wait, I just wanna say something to my best friend." " Lucy." "Lucy, I'm sorry." " ( feedback whines )" "Haven't you guys ever been in a fight with a friend before?" "Thank you." "Thank you." "Look" "Okay, so enough of this." "Let's get back to celebrating me, all right?" "Whoa, hey, guys, I hired you." "Whoa!" "Lucy, I lied to you, and that was wrong of me." "But I just missed you so much I wanted to have you all to myself." "Oh, sonny!" " Get over here." " All right-- oh!" "( clamoring )" "C-h-a-d!" " ( chad shrieks ) - ( crash )" "Okay, at least there's still one chad standing." "Huh, right?" "Oh!" "That was awesome!" "You guys are awesomer!" "This cake is awesomest!" " We're too late." " No, murphy, no." "Why did we have to take it too far" "When we could have taken it just far enough?" "Murphy deserved better than this." "He was just doing his job." " Sure, he was annoying..." " And rude..." "And nosy, but at the end of the day," "He wasn't such a bad guy." " Hello, ladies!" " ( both scream )" "Murphy, we didn't kill you?" "No." "You did give me heartburn." "But all those nice things that you just said..." " Made you less mad?" " And want to forgive us?" "Nope, made me wanna share" "My leftover" "Scabanero pizza." " Justice is served." " ( nervous laughter )" "Oh, that's not bad." "Yeah, it's not hot at all." "Yeah, three, two, one." "( screaming )"