"Guys with Kids is taped in front of a live studio audience." "Excuse me?" "How come you don't have changing tables in the bathrooms?" "Because this is a bar and you're not supposed to have children here." "You know, they have little fake ID's, if that helps." "Hey, guys." "Hey, how was your date last night?" " Oh, man, it was--it was" " Hey, hey, hey!" "Wait, you went on a date last night?" "I didn't know about this?" "Actually, it was their fourth date." "Really?" "Well, I guess that Gary's your best friend now." "Hey, man, ever since Clarkie broke the TV," "I've been forced to take an interest in other people's lives." "I didn't tell you because you have a history of ruining my relationships." "As soon as you meet a girl I'm dating," " you look for a fault, any fault." " Mm-hmm." "And you get in my head about it." "Uh, "blinks too much,"" ""swallows too loud,"" ""doesn't offer gum."" "See, Chris, what I'm doing is I'm looking out for you." "All right, because I let you out of my sight when you went to law school and what happened, hmm?" "You married Sheila." "And then you had a baby with her and then you divorced her, right?" "I need to get you microchipped like a cat." "[Phone rings]" "Oh, hey." "Happy anniversary, Gary." "Hmm?" "[Scoffs] Anniversary?" "Yeah, your wedding anniversary." "It's today, right?" "I put an alert in my calendar." "Okay." "Can I get a shake with two straws for these guys?" "Oh, God." "I walked right past Marny this morning and I didn't say a word." "Oh, God." "Okay, what-- what am I gonna do?" "What am I gonna do?" "I'm gonna borrow these." "Excuse me, I need this." "All right, how's that look?" "Right?" "This looks cute, right?" "This looks cute." "She's gonna love it, right?" "Yeah, yeah, yeah." "After that, you can string together some of these popcorns and make a little necklace to go with it." "Yeah, she won't be able to tell that I spent seven seconds on her gift, right?" "You don't think she will, right?" "Okay." "Excuse me!" "Dead man walking!" "Excuse me!" "♪ Life is how you live it ♪" "♪ where you go and where you wanna be ♪" "♪ hey hey ♪" "♪ you and me ♪" "♪ we're happy ♪" "♪ we need our friends ♪" "♪ like the sun ♪" "♪ why would you walk when you can run?" "♪" "♪ everybody sing along ♪" "♪ why would you walk when you can run?" "♪" "[Boys shouting] Come on." "Will you guys knock it off?" "Oh, baby." "I am so sorry." "What are these for?" "Well, each one represents something that I love about you." "This one right here, it represents your ability to find humor in all situations." "Gary, please stop being weird." "I don't have time for this, all right?" "I have to get the boys to karate and then I'm gonna go into work for a bit." "Okay, so, uh, nothing special...going on today?" "Dinner tonight?" "Let's just warm up what you made last night." "I loved it." "Mwah." "Okay, let's go." "All right..." "Cool." "She forgot." "Boys!" "Your mama also forgot our anniversary." "Daddy doesn't have to get his own place in Hoboken!" "Freddie is down for his nap so tell me about this girl of Chris's." " How did they meet?" " I don't know." " Well what does she do?" " I don't know." " What's her name?" " I don't know." " Is she pretty?" " Yes." "That I asked." "That's it?" "You are so useless, Nick." "You know I need details." "And yet, when my mother tells you about her gout, somehow there are no follow-up questions." "I am getting Chris down here." "You don't even know what happened on their first date?" "What did you and Daddy do on your first date?" "It was a perfect night." "Daddy took me to the Turtle Pond in Central Park where we had a picnic and watched the sunset." "We fed those turtles so many cheetos." "Then we walked aimlessly around the park until we stumbled upon the Carousel." "It was closed, but your dad convinced a security guard to turn it on for us." "It was the most romantic evening of my life." "Nick, did you put yogurt in my fridge?" "Yeah." "Yeah, you caught me." "And now it's your turn to hide something in my refrigerator." "Hey, you are not here for him." "You are here for me." "Who is this new girl you are dating?" "Tell me everything." "What is her name?" "How did you meet?" "Uh, her name is Jennifer Thomas." "I already like her more than Sheila." "Hey, guys." "Guys, you won't believe what just" "Emily." "You're in the room." "Fine." "I am leaving." "I am gonna look Jennifer up on Facebook." "Come on, sweetie." "Come help Mommy cyberstalk." "Hey, guys, I'm not in trouble." "Marny also forgot our anniversary." " What?" " Yes." "And I didn't tell her." "She still doesn't know." "Oh, this is incredible." "You gotta do something." "You gotta do something super romantic that's gonna make her feel so guilty that she will spend the rest of her life trying to make it up to you." "Hey, hey, hey, if you pull this off, husbands will speak of your legend until the end of time." "[Dramatic] Gary." "Great." "Great." "I'm gonna go to Bloomingdales." "I'm gonna shop till I drop." "I'm entering!" "Talk or don't talk." "It's my house." "Chris, she is adorable." "I love her." "I have to meet her." "Well, we can't because Chris thinks that I'm too critical." "You know, actually, I really like this girl and there is nothing you can say to screw this up for me." "You know what?" "Here she is." "Come on, go ahead." "Take your best shot." "I dated your girlfriend." "What do you mean you dated my girlfriend?" " We went out on a few dates." " When?" "I think it was before you and I were married." "Were they..." "Long dates?" "Dude, just ask the question that you want the answer to." "Did you sleep with her?" " No, no." " Boring." "I've got some shopping to do." "You know what?" "This doesn't change anything." "Not gonna let something that happened eight years ago affect my relationship with Jennifer." "In fact, why don't we have a barbecue at my place this weekend so you guys can meet her." "Honey, you might want to brace yourself for a catfight, because if memory serves, this girl is super into me." "But don't worry because you got the prize." "Up top." "Up top, baby." "I'm just gonna keep it up here till I get something." "Come on." "Yeah." "Ernie?" "Is it my weekend to watch you?" "Did I leave you here?" "Hi." "Oh, hey." "Thank God." "Uh, wait, Sheila, why are you in my apartment?" "Well I joined a gym a block over because it has great daycare, but I don't like showering there." "Hey, the key you have is for emergencies." "And it was an emergency." "I saw my dentist naked in the locker room." "Oh, uh, hey, who is Jennifer Thomas?" "You have a lot of emails from her." "Why are you reading my emails?" "Well if you leave your emails open on the screen, Chris, people are gonna read 'em." "What people?" "This is my home, not a Starbucks." "If she's going to be spending time with Ernie, then I need to sign off on her." "Sheila, we're divorced." "We need boundaries, okay?" "Uh, my emails are my own." "My dating life is my own." "My apartment is my own." "You know what?" "I am keeping this, okay?" "Either get a new gym or get a new dentist." "[Marvin Gaye's Let's Get It On playing]" "♪ I've been really trying, baby ♪" "♪ trying to hold back this feeling ♪" "The twins are asleep." "♪ ♪" "The boys are downstairs at Nick and Emily's." "The night is ours." "Prosecco?" " Why are you all" " Happy anniversary, honey." "Oh, my God." "I forgot." "[Dismissive chuckle]" "You are so funny." "I am serious." "Oh, God, I am so sorry." "Everything is so beautiful." "I ca" "There is no way I could feel any worse." "I got you these." "♪ ♪" "Sapphire earrings?" "I bought them three months ago at this little boutique on Bleecker street." "Gary, I feel so terrible." "It's just a day." "A day that our two hearts became one." "[Baby cries]" "Oh, baby, that must be a dirty diaper." "I'll go change it." "No, no, no, no." "I will take care of that." "No, sweetheart, let me." "It is the least I can do." "God, I love you!" "♪ ♪" "Yes, you do." "[Dramatic] Gary." "Oh, Gary." "What are you doing?" "I'm going to the movies." "Marny's allowing me to do anything these days." "What are you guys up to?" "We're just picking up some wine for Chris's barbecue tonight." "We're gonna loosen people up so it won't be so awkward when Jennifer sees me." "Who knows how into me she was?" "She clearly never got married." "Did I ruin love for her?" "Maybe." "Hey, Gary, saw you through the window." "Oh, wow." "Everybody's here." "Uh, Jennifer this is Gary and Emily." " Hi." " How are you?" " Hi, nice to meet you." " Hi." "And this is Nick, who you might remember, actually." "Hello, Jennifer." "[Chuckles]" "Long time." "Long time since what?" "Since--since we dated." "We did?" "I don't remember you." "Nick." "Nick." "I'm Nick hayer." "I'm Nick Thayer." "I'm Nick-- I'm Nick Thayer." "Wow, this is embarrassing." "I just don't remember you at all." "That just doesn't seem possible." "I'm really sorry." "Oh, do not apologize." "This is amazing." "Okay, uh, see you guys-- see you guys tonight." "Bye." "Oh, poor girl." "She is obviously devastated." "Up top." "[Moans]" "Ooh." "Oh, Marny, my scalp hasn't tingled like this since... 12 years ago last Sunday, when I watched you walk down that aisle." "[Knock on door]" "It's open." "Right there, fellas!" "Oh..." "What?" "You--no-- [Stammering]" "My brain is so relaxed" "I can't grasp what's happening!" "I know you were waiting for black Friday to get a TV on sale, but I felt so bad" "I wanted to get it for you now." "Happy anniversary!" "Oh, my God!" "Oh, my God this is the best moment of my life!" "Clarkie, Yoda, you gotta see this!" "Come in!" "Look!" "Oh, my God!" "Box!" "You have such handsome children." "I took that picture at a rare moment when none of them had pinkeye." " Hi, everybody." "All:" "Hey." "All right, let's eat." "Hey, Emily." "Hi." "Who's your friend?" "[All laugh]" "It's funny because she didn't remember you." "Hi, nice to see you again." "Jennifer, it's good to see you again from earlier this afternoon in the summer of 2004." "[Phone rings]" "Hello?" "It's the credit card company." "Yes." "I bought a TV today." "Ooh, ooh, ooh." "Tell 'em why." "[Slight laugh]" "What do you mean a lot of recent activity?" "Bloomingdale's?" "Uh-oh." "On what date?" "Um, honey, hang up." "You're being rude." "So..." "All of these items were purchased last Sunday afternoon?" "Planning our anniversary for months, huh?" "Hey, you forgot our anniversary too, but I still remembered first." "Actually, Chris remembered first." "That's for laughing at me in the store." "So you didn't even remember?" "Chris remembered?" "Marny, why don't we just" "You made me feel terrible-- on purpose" "On my anniversary." "[Door slams]" "Well, I guess we're calling it a night." "Um, Marny isn't feeling well." "It's her stomach." "Whew!" "All right, well, they're gone." "What do you guys say we all scooch on in, get to know each other a little bit?" "Oh, man, okay." "I'll ask the first question." "Jennifer, do you often forget the high moments of your life?" "Close your eyes and just try and picture this, okay?" "I was wearing a sport coat with jeans" "I was the first guy to do that." "I wish I could remember you so this would stop." "Oh, don't stop." "I could do this all night." "You made no impression." "You are, like, the opposite of E.T." "E.T. Made a very big impression on those kids." "I was wearing big, black motorcycle boots." "But you didn't have a motorcycle." "Oh, no, you drove a little green Vespa." "Wait, green Vespa." "You're green Vespa guy!" "Yes!" "We met at Tower Records." "Yes!" "Unforgettable!" "Order is restored." "You took me on some picnic in Central Park at this Turtle Pond." "What?" "I don't think-- I don't think that was me, 'cause I've act--I've never been to Central Park before." "No, no, no, I got it now." "We walked through the park and you bribed a security guard to let us ride some old carousel." "It was so cheesy." "[Laughs]" "So that was just your go-to first date?" "All this time, I thought that night was spontaneous and special." "[Door slams]" "So we're gonna call it a night." "I don't think Emily is feeling well." "There seems to be a stomach thing going around." "Whatever you do, don't stand right there." "That spot makes women very angry." "Um, I am sorry about that." "Oh, that's okay." "At least now we're alone." "Oh!" "Oh, my God, you're here." "How many keys to my apartment do you have?" "I'm sorry, I'm looking for my phone." "Hi, I'm Sheila." "You must be Jennifer." "I've read so much about you." "What are you doing?" "I don't deserve this." "It has to go back." "Every time I watch Sportscenter, all I see is Trey Wingo staring at me saying," ""how could you, Gary?"" "Well, do what you want." "It's yours." "I bought it for you." "No, no, no, no, no." "Come here, sweetheart." "Look, what I did wasn't right and..." "Baby, I'm sorry." "Stop." "You're just saying that because you got caught." "Look, for the sake of argument, had you remembered first, what would you have done?" "Hmm?" "I probably would have milked it for all it was worth." "Yeah." "That's right, because we are very similar." "Sweetheart, we are a good couple." "We are." "Which is why we cannot forget our anniversary again." "Yeah..." "You're right." "Is it too late to say "happy anniversary"?" "No." "Happy anniversary, sweetheart." "You are gonna return those earrings, right?" "Please." "Nick, you didn't have to drag us" " all the way out here." " Nope, nope." "I am gonna prove to you that that night was special." "You see that security guard right there?" "That's the same guy that was here all those years ago." "Phil, hi." "Would you mind telling my wife what I said to you eight years ago the night I brought her here." "Who are you?" "I am buying a name tag." "Okay." "If I was at all memorable, he would tell you that the night I brought you here on our first date," "I looked at him and I said," ""do you see that girl on the carousel?" "One day, I'm gonna marry that girl."" "And yes, yes, I might have come here with some other girls, but you were the last girl that I came here with." "Phil." "Uh, what do you say..." "We fire up the carousel for old time's sake, huh?" "[Carousel music starts up]" "Climb aboard." " Can I go on the white one?" " Yeah." "I wanna go on the white one!" "Yeah, I said yes." "There's nobody else here." "Found it!" "Found your phone." " Oh great." " Here you go, so you can go now." "'Cause that's why you were here, for your phone." "So you can--you can just leave Ernie sleeping." "It's fine, just bye." "Okay, bye." "You know, I should probably be heading home too." "My dog is going to destroy my apartment." "So I will call you in the morning?" " Yeah, yeah." " Okay." "Can you turn around or something?" "Just" " Bye." " Bye." "Sheila, uh, what happened tonight can never happen again." "What?" "It worked out." "She's lovely, and I approve." "I don't need you approval." "I don't need you storing food in my fridge," "I don't need you butting into my personal life anymore." "I wasn't trying to, I was just stopping by." "Come on..." "Okay." "It started out with the gym, but then, you know," "I found out you were dating her and I just wanted to make sure she was okay." "And she is." "And so here's my key." "Thank you." "I know you have more copies." " Yes, I do." " Yeah."