"Hello." "Do you have a place to go?" "Yes." "Come on." "It's nice here." "Are you an artist?" "Yes a little." "Come this way." "Dearest Johan." "Contrarily to what I told you, I have to begin the film without you." "L've got a camera during the month of August, and my crew is getting impatient to shoot." "L can't wait any more." "Since your arrest i'm bored." "Paris is very hot." "L have been cruising in the Tuileries Garden to find a replacement for you, but it's not easy." "Your arrest changed a lot of things;" "I saw your lawyer, he looks rather optimistic." "L kiss you." "L love you." "Philippe." "Are you OK?" "Do you like being fucked?" "Of course; didn 't you see?" "Especially by big cocks." "What are you doing in life?" "Nothing important." "What's your name?" "Philippe and you?" "Mikel." "And you, what are you doing in life?" "L'm in the film-business." "Yes?" "In front or behind the camera?" "Behind." "Watch out for the cat." "See you." "Ok, by." "The first scene:" "A foggy morning, frozen rails, an imaginary train, the silhouette of Johan dancing." "Motor, action!" "There's too much smoke." "Who made all this smoke?" "It's the assistant again." "L don't see anybody." "Cue the dancer." "Where is the dancer." "L can't see the dancer." "L can't see anything." "Perhaps he's out of focus." "Stop shooting, we're wasting footage." "Let's start again." "Here he is." "He's completely blurred." "Let's start again." "Here he is." "Is that one your dancer, Philippe?" "He is good." "Where did you find him?" "He is a professional dancer." "Is he?" "He was much better in the smoke." "How was it?" "Have I got the part?" "How was it?" "Have I got the part?" "You know, it's not my business;" "I'm only your assistant, but your actor!" "So, how was it?" "Do I get the part?" "Good morning, we've come to get the luggage." "Come in." "Shall we follow you?" "No wait there for me." "Let's help her." "There is still all that?" "It's high-class luggage." "He has good taste." "Watch out!" "Go under the wire." "Well, he owes you 950?" "So, I'll pay you for the half?" "Is a cheque OK?" "Yes, give me a cheque." "Generally, I don't accept cheques, but..." "May I have a receipt?" "Yes." "He'll give you the other half when he comes out of jail." "When will he be out?" "L don 't know;" "he has not been judged yet." "It could be a long time." "Was he arrested here?" "Yes, he was arrested here." "In the hotel?" "Exactly." "L saw him handcuffed here." "Oh, did you?" "Did the police take anything from his room?" "They looked through all his things, all his gold jewellery." "Why did the y arrest him?" "They didn't tell me." "Which was his room?" "Room number 10, just upstairs." "What name do I write on the cheque?" "Girard." "Do I write my address on the back?" "Yes please." "How did this boy behave here?" "This boy." "Calm?" "Very nice, no trouble." "It was a surprise." "Do you know why he was sent to prison?" "L don't." "Neither do I." "Nobody told me about it." "L just saw him handcuffed here." "He came handcuffed here?" "What does he do for work?" "He told me he was an actor." "Was he?" "Had he already played in a film?" "L don 't know;" "a customer's private life is none of my business." "He's playing in this film but we'll ne ver see him." "He's playing in this film." "He often spoke about you." "Did he?" "What did he say?" "He said: "Which friend telephoned?"" "Did you speak to him sometimes?" "Yes, when he was sitting here." "It's a nice hotel;" "one can talk things over." "L give you this, and tell him..." "OK" "He'll pay you the other half later." "Fine, thank you very much." "Let's take all this." "We'll look inside later." "Your pen." "Oh, the painting!" "Is it a film about emigrants?" "Yes, it is." "Let's see what's inside." "There are some very beautiful things." "Let's see the clothes." "He likes spangles very much." "It's strange because it is not his style." "He made some costumes for "Blue Angel"." "If you find a photo of him, let me have it." "L have no pictures of him." "L saw him wearing this costume." "Where?" "In Saint Germain;" "he looked good." "He likes leather and military uniforms very much." "Is that him?" "No." "He paints." "He's an artist." "Let's smoke a little, to relax." "Let's relax!" "Where is your diamond ring?" "L don't know." "Wonderful!" "Do you think Pierre can play the part of Johan?" "Johan, the boy who will replace you in the film must be more than just beautiful and a dancer." "What's the matter?" "L don't want to." "You have never had sex with a boy?" "L only had sex with my twin." "His name is Johan." "He's in jail." "Only with him?" "That's odd." "With your brother?" "Yes and a twin." "Are you sad?" "No." "And other boys never attracted you?" "Never..." "Only him." "Does he look like you?" "Yes." "He is the same." "So, you have sex with yourself?" "Yes." "L only like guys like me." "Dearest Johan," "We went together to your hotel to fetch your things." "L paid the landlady for your debts." "She was not surprised to see us with a camera." "You'll excuse our indiscretion, but we looked a little through your things." "L thought your clothes, your jewels might help to reveal something about you." "L discovered love letters." "L read some of them, very touching." "L was surprised it was your brother who wrote them to you." "What time is it?" "Ten past nine." "And what's happening here?" "They are fags." "Are they?" "What are they doing?" "You don't know what fags do?" "In here?" "Yes." "They are pissing?" "No, fags are not pissing;" "they are pretending to piss." "Are they?" "People come driving by here, and they take guys back to their flat." "Around eleven and midnight, you'll see big cars stopping here." "Fords, Mercedes." "Yes, big bosses stop here." "What sort?" "Of factories." "Big heads." "You can make a film about that?" "And what a film!" "It'll sell in Pigalle." "Dearest Johan," "Tonight I met a Tunisian boy under the metro between Barbes and La Chapelle." "He was beautiful;" "he could have played your part." "He took me with him into a blind alley close to a disused railway line." "The sky was clear;" "I saw a shooting star, and I made a wish like when I was a kid." "As usual, we left each other without speaking, without exchanging addresses." "What's the use?" "L only think to you." "Johan," "In the film, we'll shoot together, my friend Christine will have a leading role." "L don't know what to tell you about that boy." "But I think he deserved to go to jail." "Because he was not nice with a lot of guys." "He stole mone y everywhere." "And that, personally, I don't accept." "Well, if prison will help him understand." "How long will he be in jail?" "L don't know." "Do you think I'm losing my time with such a boy?" "Honestly, yes." "L don't think so." "Honestly, yes." "L think." "Yes, perhaps we can try to bring him back into a regular life." "But I don 't think so, because for him, maybe it's an illness to steal mone y everywhere." "Especially in this circle." "Everybody knows him." "Everybody knows each other, and he'll go on." "L just wanted to know your opinion." "L think you 're wasting your time with him." "Il don't." "Dearest Philippe, this evening I am a little sad because of the little argument we had in the visitors' room." "As you say, it's true, I am superficial and I'm never interested in other people." "Maybe it's narcissism or something else." "L can't help it if the life I have led until now made me like that." "L had to manage alone all the time, and certainly I am an awfully selfish person." "Philippe, my position now is very complicated." "L am at a turning point in my life." "Either I continue the stupid life I have led until now and surely I go back to prison soon." "Or rather, what I want now, is to choose a very different life with somebody I respect." "But I need to be with somebody who trust me." "L am trying to tell you who I am." "Until now the only important thing for me was to live in luxury." "And I recognise I did anything to achieve that." "Maybe I was too proud, but thanks to my face and my body, I thought I could get everything in life." "Inevitably, I lost everything and I found myself alone each time." "So, I disliked everybody and I only met people in a self- interested way to get the best." "No Johan" "Don't be sorry." "L know, I am your only mirror." "But what I love in you is everything:" "Your beauty, your narcissism, your lies and the tattoo on your forehead." "If you had been only a sex champion, I would ha ve left you as I did the others." "You talk to me about a new start, a different love, another friendship." "Is it necessary?" "From the beginning our relationship made me happy." "You know that when you leave jail I'll be there for you and if you want we can start a new life together." "Johan, I am glad you have cured me of this need for cruising" "that begins with a drink in the Cafe de Flore and finishes by a jerk off in a public garden." "It becomes an obsession never satisfied." "Thanks to you, my obsession has changed;" "now it's to feel you again at my side." "My love affair before you was Manolo in New York." "New York..." "It is easy for a gay man to discover a new town." "It is one of our advantages." "We meet people." "Gay bars, night clubs, and finally the sauna where l stayed 24 hours until I was exhausted." "The most hidden of my desires had been satisfied." "Later in the street, I met Manolo." "Tired of sex, I was available for love." "We didn't leave each other." "The smells were like in an African town." "He had a balcony that overlooked Manhattan." "Why did you lea ve Cuba?" "L left Cuba because I had recited a poem in a TV programme," "and I was arrested," "It was a poem about old people." "L was arrested, I had troubles and fortunately I succeeded in escaping and leaving the country." "They said it was against the system?" "Yes they did but I didn't understand why." "And was it hard for homosexuals?" "Yes, I have known some homosexuals from Cuba who were obliged to do hard labour for seven years to be able to leave the country." "If somebody discovers that you are gay, a neighbour for example, he can inform on you." "And then it's written on your identity card forever." "Manolo had been a child star on Cuban TV." "Now he is free and a student." "The atmosphere is different today..." "Houses, chimneys, everything is different today, because I told them you are here." "L was happy." "We drank Californian wine, and in the evening, the Empire state Building lit up only for us." "We had such a good time." "At night, after a Broadway show, he took me to a leather bar." "If you want to leave with another boy, you can." "L don't want to oblige you to sta y with me." "L don't want to own you." "L don't understand." "He told me that I could go with another bo y if I wanted to;" "he wanted me to make the most of my holidays." "L played the free game." "L went awa y with a guy who had a nice body." "The next day Manolo and I were very sad and we never left each other again." "Why did you tell me that?" "It's stupid." "Some months later, Manolo came to see me in Paris." "We went for diner in a restaurant." "You were there." "L looked at you and we didn't stop watching each other." "It was finished with Manolo, love had flown away towards somebody else." "In the film we will shoot together, we will reconstitute exactly how we met, to never forget it." "Have you an idea of your part in the movie?" "It's a little vague at the moment." "L represent a little your character." "One of your sides." "Which one?" "Your dark side, the cruiser." "What is that?" "You search in my pockets now?" "It's poppers." "There is a pharmaceutical word." "Amyl Nitrite." "L brought it from London." "Sniff it once." "It liberates a lot people." "And this?" "You surround the cock with this;" "you fasten it." "This is for the balls, one on the right," "one on the left." "And the cock is..." "There." "Balls here." "And what does it do?" "It helps to get a hard on, and it's pleasant to wear." "And this?" "It's a cock-ring." "It's nearly the same thing." "You put your cock inside, the balls too and there it is." "It might stop the circulation!" "Not at all." "L saw in New York boys with rings through the nipples." "Do you want that?" "No, I don't." "You know, I am not really into it;" "neither am I out of it." "L am in the middle and I prefer to stay a novice." "It's not necessary to go too far." "On the other hand, I have some buddies who are very experienced." "Me, I look at all this from outside." "Good e vening." "It's nice to meet you." "Is that for me?" "It's for Mother's Day." "You're so nice." "It's a pleasure for me." "They are so beautiful." "Good e vening." "How do you do?" "Johan" "On Mother's Day I had lunch at my mother's." "You called me and she invited you to have a coffee with us." "You came ten minutes later with a huge bunch of flowers." "Cut." "It's good." "Philippe, do I get the role of Johan?" "This poor Johan." "L don't know what to think about him." "L guess he has a lot of problems in different ways." "He is a little e xhibitionist in his behaviour, his tattoo." "He is a little too much." "And you think he has problems?" "L think so." "Maybe from his childhood." "And with him, we ne ver know when he lies and when he tells the truth." "And, that has got him where he is now." "Do you think I am right to go on with such a relationship?" "L don 't think it will lead you anywhere." "You'll only get into trouble with him." "What?" "He's not a good partner." "What sort of boy would you like me to be with?" "What a question..." "First, somebody older." "It's not good to be two young guys together." "That's my opinion." "L think one of them must be a steadying influence in such a relationship." "L think it's the same for women." "What do you think about the film I am shooting now?" "L think it's interesting and it's fashionable." "Don't you think it helps to liberate people?" "Surely." "Anyway, nowadays people are rather liberated." "Do you think so?" "L do." "We had a lot of difficulties filming boys in the Tuileries gardens." "They didn't want their mother to know they were gay." "Oh, mother problems is a different thing!" "You know, not all mothers are like me." "Maybe some in Paris." "But in the provinces... they are not accustomed to it." "You have a different behaviour in front of the camera." "Maybe because... you are asking me questions you never asked me before." "Then I am a little embarrassed." "To tell you the truth, you never asked me that before." "So, it's not easy." "Hello boys;" "Johan is coming back." "How are you?" "You are sitting in a strange way." "May I smoke one?" "It's so hot in here." "L don't know if Johan would undress, but I will." "About Johan, it would be nice if you went to visit him." "L'll be filming on Saturday, and it's his birthday he wrote to me this morning and he would like to get some grass." "You could bring him some hidden in a towel." "Grass hidden in a towel?" "What a crazy guy he is!" "It's true, he needs some clothes and some marijuana hidden in a towel." "But we will end up in jail together." "It's easy:" "You unpick the towel;" "you put the grass inside and you sew it up again." "He always has strong ideas." "Read your book and shut up." "Finally, we're going to be cool!" "My ammunition?" "Yes my ammunition." "Yes I smashed all cops' barriers and I came here." "Here is my ammunition." "Here is my ammunition." "She is more and more crazy." "No it's not ether." "No It's for heart patients." "About heart patients, I have to tell you a story." "It's incredible." "When the cops arrested Johan, he had his little bottle like me." "And the cops asked him:" ""What's that bottle sir?"" ""It's for my heart, don't take it away."" "And little Johan, sniffing, said..." "My hart guys!" "L sniffed a lot." "Then they kept the bottle saying:" ""Well, we'll see if it's for your heart."" "And every five minutes Johan was saying" ""Please sir, give me my little bottle, I feel bad"." "The first time, when I saw you for the audition, I didn't know you were a sadist." "Why didn't you tell me?" "Because people don't say such things." "And it's not written on the face." "Yes, I became sadistic because, one year ago, I began to go to such parties." "L was in vited, and it turned out that I was sadist and not masochist." "L could have been masochist." "Because it's a desire you get when you see the others doing it." "Already when I was a kid, I liked fighting very much." "Well, when you see somebody punching somebody else, if you want to punch, you do it." "If you prefer to be beaten, you ask to be beaten." "But it's not written here masochist or sadist." "And when you're looking for a job, it's not good to say:" ""L am a sadist, if you ha ve people to punch, call me"." "You don't say that sort of thing." "We know, because we all know each other." "Among sadists and masochists you have some who like to hurt morally, and others who prefer to hurt bodily." "Me I like to hurt physically, but I don 't like to be hit." "We meet a lot of physically masochists among old people." "More among guys from 45 to 60 than younger guys." "Very few young men like physical pain." "They prefer moral pain." "You, you like this?" "Yes I am a sadist!" "When two people are having sex, there is action." "Here, the action is the pain;" "it's also the feeling of the one who gives this pain." "Me, I just have the feeling of crushing... somebody weaker than me." "He can be stronger than me, but I crush him all the same because I am not masochist." "Oh, I had one..." "One night, we had a party;" "When something like that happens they ask me to come." "Then, Jean Lou arrives." "And he earns 300 or 400 francs for the night." "It's not bad." "This man." "L stuck needles in him." "But it was not painful enough for him." "Then another one came and helped me." "That one is incredible." "He's the one who enjoys dissecting little cats, he puts some ants in their belly, he sews the skin up again" "He is a really hard sadist." "Then we had German barbed wire, with spikes;" "not the shit French one." "And we didn't use sewing needles, but knitting needles." "Then we stuck the barbed wire in here and had a guy on one side and a guy on the other side." "And the man was enjoying it more and more." "L remember one." "We had to tie his cock when it was not hard." "Then we hurt him and his cock couldn't get an erection because it was tight." "And little by little it split." "Not the cock itself but the skin all round." "It's funny because this sort of man can withstand pain." "Two hours later, they stand up, it's finished;" "they have made love." "Three legionnaires in the desert." "Johan, you were in the legion." "You deserted after two years." "You will tell us your stories." "Go guy!" "You cheat fag!" "Say it again." "Take care of your ass, bitch." "L'm going to fuck you." "L take off the jacket." "Cut, it's good." "Do I look like the character you are looking for?" "Johan" "My cameraman had an idea." "As we haven't found an actor to play your part, he thought I could play it myself, because I know you the best." "Me becoming you, the idea is fascinating but very worrying too." "To become the one I love frightens me a little." "However, maybe you are my double, this other half, as Plato said, which was torn out of me by the anger of Greek Gods." "There will be a scene on the stairs of the Madeleine church." "François do you want an egg?" "Don't put the shell on the floor." "What do we do with that?" "Where do I put it?" "It's for the extras." "They'll cross like that?" "With candles and torches." "Look François is it ok when I cross?" "The tattoo." "Johan" "We will direct the Hollywood scene you wrote, the one on the stairs of the Madeleine church." "You and me dressed in white, sitting on a big white horse;" "and all around us in front of every column a lot of extras dressed with togas and carrying torches in each hand." "Dearest Johan," "At the Delign y swimming pool, I met Walter, a black American actor." "He is very cultivated and makes delightful pastries." "Do you remember the first time I had se x with you?" "We nearly didn't do it." "L could not get an erection because my desire was too strong." "L should have sta yed against you, motionless, enjoying that moment." "It's normal, I had found what I had been looking for, for a long time." "Do your remember the gift you gave me or I gave you?" "We'll never know who was guilty." "Personally, I think it was you." "And now I am going to make you a chocolate cake." "Tell me; your man spends his life in the kitchen?" "How do we make a chocolate cake?" "Yes of course, some chocolate," "some eggs," "some grapes to give an exotic taste." "And what else do we put?" "Some sugar of course." "When is this cake coming?" "Now!" "Some flour;" "we ha ve to mix;" "some ginger." "Poor little cat, you too are waiting for the cake?" "Everybody wants his piece of cake this night." "L think I don't need poppers." "L feel the same." "The cat is a star." "Yes you are a film star." "L think the cake is coming!" "Some whipped cream." "Well, if I don't find a man, I'll take you." "Here is your cake, darling." "Do you like it?" "And what do I do now?" "Incredible that cake." "What a chef he is!" "You're not too tired?" "Tired, no;" "I feel good." "You are beautiful." "Really?" "Is that a man's opinion?" "Are you still OK?" "Always." "Take my word for it." "For what?" "We'll certainly do it," "He has to come out for that." "We'll do it with Johan?" "We'll do it with Johan." "All three; it'll be great!" "L belie ve." "It will be the child of three people." "Our child." "Who'll be the father?" "We don't know." "We'll all three do it and he'll be the child of three people." "Yes, he'll be the child of three people." "Two fathers, one mother." "There are so many children without a father." "He will ha ve two!" "L'm sure the kid will like that." "Do you like Johan?" "Yes, I think he's wonderful." "He has a fantastic personality." "He has presence." "When he arrived this night with his little bottle." "Do you remember?" "And it's the first time I met him." "L think he is the kind of man people see once and never forget." "L am happy you are ready to do it." "You don't mind being the only girl in the film?" "Not at all." "L am your only girlfriend;" "it's absolutely normal." "The last scene of the film:" "L'd like you to do a wide shot of the Montparnasse tower." "We ought to find a pink Rolls Royce entering the shot." "It stops." "The driver must be in uniform." "Close up on him when he comes out of the car." "Second shot:" "Close up of Johan who leaves the car; he is covered with jewels." "L come out of the car too, from the opposite door." "L am in evening dress." "We are slightly drunk." "Track in following Johan and me until we reach the entrance of the tower." "He throws a champagne glass in the air and we go in." "It would be nice to do a shot from inside the lift." "We both enter the lift;" "the door closes." "Shot of the floors numbers changing." "Wide panoramic over Paris lit up at night." "Reverse shot on the dance floor where Johan and me... are dancing cheek to cheek among other couples." "So:" "The camera pans over the night life of Paris." "And then, the shot of the dancers." "Johan, it's strange," "Ivan Roberto, the last actor who played your role, and George Barber who pla yed mine, left Paris together and no one knows where they are." "Anyway, I'll never find anyone to play your part." "You're the only one who can do it." "Summer is ending;" "the Tuileries fair is finished and I'll wait until you get out of jail." "Have participated in this film..." "Hi!" "Have you been here long?" "One hour?" "Are you sad Philippe?" "It's the emotion." "Is he going to come out Sir?" "Shit, what is this prison!" "L'm rolling the cigarette of the free man." "And behind the camera" "What a car!" "It's Maria Callas." "Johan wanted La Callas to be there when he got out of jail." "Are you happy Philippe?" "L am a little anxious." "Why, because he is coming out?" "No, because the movie is beginning now." "The real one this time."