"[Screaming]" "[Whistling]" "♪♪ la, la, la, la ♪♪" "[Doorbell rings]" "Mail call!" "What the heck are these?" "Eh, just a few more copyright infringement letters." "E!" "I'll take thos" "♪♪ do-Dee-Do, do , do-Dee-Doot ♪♪" "[Shredding]" "And a letter for..." "ling-Ling." "Hi-Ya!" "Man: ♪♪ ling-Ling into bat-- ♪♪" "Yay!" "[Speaking foreign language]" "What's that troiental saying?" "I can't read it." "Something about an all-New daily show." "I do like that jon stewart." "Hey, would you guys mind signing" "For your neighbor's package?" "Someone finally bought that house, huh?" "Yeah." "Some greeks moved in." "Did you hear that?" "Greeks!" "Next door!" "Back in college i would have joined a fraternity" "If not for one small incident." "So, you're the president of the fraternity, huh?" "Yeah-- Yah!" "[Gurgles]" "I guess i'm the president now!" "Actually, as vice president" "I'm the new president." "Oh!" "Later, you gay independents." "I'm gonna rush me a frat." "[Glass shatters]" "I think the mailman meant" "An immigrant family from greece moved in," "Not a fraternity." "And that wasn't a roofie, captain hero." "That was a tic-Tac." "Are you guys going to fuck me or not?" "[Speaking foreign language]" "Oh, nothing bring me joy." "I too old to battle," "And my cataract make karaoke impossible." "[Tequilaplaying]" "Uh..." "Ohh..." "You should be happy, ling-Ling." "After jun-Jee die," "You inherit his billions!" "Move in with shameful son?" "Ha!" "Oh, i do like jon stewart, son." "Ok, i move into ill-Defined parody house with you." "Yeah!" "Hello!" "My name is captain hero." "I just wanted to introduce myself and tell you that" "You guys have the most awesome house!" "Oh, yes, well, thank you." "We are very happy here." "Listen, we are just sitting down to dinner," "So, uh, thank you for the stopping by." "Dude, i am total pledge material!" "Excuse me-- Why, did you fart?" "[Laughs and flatulates]" "[Woman gasps] oh!" "Social!" "[Gasps]" "[Cat howls] [tequilaplaying]" "[All whimpering]" "[Gulps]" "Will you be my big brother?" "Party foul." "Dead arm!" "Aah!" "[Belches and retches" "Dude, i snarfed!" "That should be my pledge name." "Snarf!" "Ooh, let's play ooky pita!" "Snarf go first." "Please, scary man, get out of our house" "And never come back." "What?" "You don't want me in your house?" "Just please do leave us." "[Sobbing]" "[Glass breaks] [sheep bleats]" "I wish i was dead." "Oh, look!" "Another sick parent." "Just stack him in the corner with the rest of them." "[Flies buzzing]" "Hey, foxxy." "When are you gonna contribute to the parent pile?" "When my daddy get back from buyin' them cigarettes." "[Beeping]" "Cameras everywhere," "Obscure cartoon characters," "Smells like urine." "This just like tokyo disneyland!" "[Sighs]" "You are great embarrassment to family name." "I am ashamed to call you" "Ling-Ling hitler bin laden seacrest." "[Grumbling]" "Oh!" "[Flies buzzing]" "[Munching sounds]" "Oh!" "Who the hiroshima is that?" "Oh, jun-Jee wouldn't mind sweeping that leg chubby." "Cannonball!" "[Both whimpering]" "Oh, i am such a loser!" "Oh, sweetie," "I know it never feels good to be rejected." "Even when it's by an immigrant greek family" "That you've mistaken for a college frat." "I know, but i still don't get" "Why they didn't want me as a pledge." "Maybe i didn't showcase all my positive attributes," "Like my ability to spot a toupee." "There's one!" "[Screaming]" "You don't need them, captain hero." "You've got all the friends you need right here." "You're right, xandir." "I don't need their fraternity" "If i start my own!" "Oh, fuck me." "Here's to starting the biggest, bestest," "Drunkiest driviest, vehicular manslaughteriest" "Get-Off-With-A-Slap- On-The-Wrist" "Because-Our-Dads are-The-Richiest" "Fraternity on campus." "[Glass shatters]" "That wasn't a roofie, captain hero." "It was some candy made by willy wonka." "[Plays flute]" "Men:" "♪♪ goofy roofies, buggery-Boo ♪♪" "Captain hero:" "line up!" "You maggots are the worst pledges" "In the history of this fraternity." "Both:" "sir, sorry, sir!" "Thousands of committed brothers" "Have passed through these doors." "Look at them." "Look at them!" "Both:" "sir, looking, sir." "They were all like family to me." "Well, except one." "Now drop and give me 20 plies!" "Both:" "sir, yes, sir!" "Now, pledges, as you know," "We are the coolest fraternity on campus." "But the fraternity next door" "Thinks they're even cooler than us." "Should we let them get away with that?" "Both:" "sir, no, sir!" "Then let's teach those assholes a lesson." "Charge!" "[Screaming]" "[Cyndi lauper performing girls just want to have fun]" "[All giggling] good one!" "[Glass shatters] [both gasp]" "[Screams] panty raid!" "♪♪ i come home in the morning light ♪♪" "♪♪ my mother says when ♪♪" "♪♪ you gonna live your life right ♪♪" "Âª ♪♪ oh, mother dear, we're not the fortunate ones âª" "♪♪ and girls, they want to have fun ♪♪" "[Screaming]" "♪♪ oh, girls-- ♪♪ yee-Haw!" "Ai-Yi-Yi-Yi-Yi!" "[Southern accent] your kind ain't welcome here no more." "Hello, 9-1-1?" "This is the georgiopoulos hous" "No, we're not taking anymore pledges." "Will you please just send someone over?" "♪♪ in your loud eyes ♪♪ ♪♪ eyes ♪♪" "♪♪i feel the heat ♪♪ ♪♪ brown eyes ♪♪" "♪♪of tiny feet... ♪♪" "Oh, toot-San, you have stolen my heart." "I'm not that fat, old man!" "[Growls]" "[Grunts]" "[Screams]" "Excuse me!" "Pardon me!" "[Both grunting]" "Pardon me!" "[Grunts]" "[Sizzles]" "[Gurgles]" "Ohh..." "But she have such beautiful, tiny feet." "There must be something a beauty like that would want" "From an old, dying," "Prone-To-Changing-His-Will billionaire like me." "Billionaire!" "[Gasps]" "Why didn't you just say so?" "Interested in sticking your john mccain" "Into my hanoi hilton?" "[Both grunting]" "[Slurping]" "These invites will get you 2 sweet things" "To the front of the line for tonight's party." "Clothing is totally optional." "Ha ha ha ha!" "[Doorbell rings]" "Ooh, that's probably my uncle with the keg!" "Mr. Hero, your new neighbors have issued" "A restraining order against you," "Some queer in a peter pan outfit," "And a talking banana." "[Screams]" "Shenanigans like that" "Will get us kicked off campus." "You two are gone!" "But where will the fraternity get its potassium?" "Those dildos next door went to the dean." "They're trying to make us even lamer" "Than that lame frat down the street!" "Do a keg stand, mishe!" "All: mishe!" "Mishe!" "Mishe!" "We're not going to let them destroy us," "Are we, plebes?" "Both:" "sir, never, sir!" "And to prove it, xandir," "Lock yourself in the trunk of a car" "With this bottle of whiskey," "And don't come out until it's empty." "Sir, yes, sir!" "And wooldoor, you tie one end of this rope" "Around your penis," "And the other around this brick," "And then throw it over the balcony." "Sir, thank you for making my wish come true, sir!" "There goes one brave kid." "Captain hero narrating:" "now that the pledges" "Were showing some real house pride," "It was time to get our revenge" "On our rival fraternity" "With the greatest prank of them all." "We shall steal their mascot!" "[Thunder]" "Wooldoor:" "[screaming]" "It's not so bad." "Stop screwing around, plebe." "Ugh!" "[Groans and whimpers]" "We have got a mascot to steal." "If we do this," "I will have accomplished almost every goal" "I have ever set for myself." "Bathroom, camels, goat..." "And the sek-Us." "[Slams]" "[Grunts]" "Ha!" "Man alive!" "That is one hairy goat!" "Sir, i think that might not be a goat at all." "It looks more like a little girl, sir." "Oh, you are such a freshman." "Why would a fraternity have a little girl as a mascot?" "3 demerits!" "[Grunts]" "Pledge, xandir, you can tell" "She's a goat, right?" "[Indistinct shouting and banging]" "Oh, yes." "She's a goat all right." "[Speaking greek]" "[Muffled grunting]" "This will be the greatest fraternity prank ever!" "Hyah!" "[Wooldoor grunting]" "Hey!" "Who i sleep with is my business!" "Ahd getting you the best deal" "On a new or used chevy is his business!" "[Horse whinnies] yee-Haw!" "Maybe we should just try to get along." "I would suggest you start kissing my ass." "After all," "I am gonna be your new mother." "[Screams]" "[Birds clamor]" "Oh, did i mention i have a fat ass?" "[Flatulence]" "[Sobbing]" "Ma'am," "I know this is difficult." "But do you remember anything" "About the sandwich i asked you to make for me?" "Huh?" "Oh, this is going way better" "Than i expected." "[Doorbell rings]" "[Snickering]" "Hello, campus security." "Can i help you?" "Yes, i don't know if you've heard," "But little georgina's been abducted." "Ha ha!" "The goat's name is georgina." "That is so gay!" "Perhaps being a super hero who lives right next door," "You've noticed someone suspicious in the area?" "Oh, no, sir." "We haven't seen any baa-D guys around here." "[Both laugh]" "Well, if you happen to see anything," "Let us know." "Both: phi alpha gamma!" "Phi alpha gamma!" "We're really good" "At thinking of chants!" "Uh..." "um..." "Uh..." "uh..." "Both: ok, not that good." "Wait, i've got one!" "No, that's stupid." "Man: i now pronounce you" "Husband and wife." "You may now roll the bride's fat face in flour" "And kiss the wet spot." "Ooh!" "Ooh!" "Spot." "[Grunts]" "[Cheering] no!" "[Chuckling]" "Oh, pardon me," "Schmucky woman starting to sell real estate" "In a desperate attempt to create a career for herself" "Way too late in life" "Because her husband dumped her sorry ass," "But did our neighbors move?" "I'm afraid so." "Huzzah!" "[Indistinct]" "I guess after their daughter was kidnapped," "Never to be found," "They gave up on their american dream" "And moved back to greece." "Daughter?" "Kidnapped and..." "Wait a second." "Wait a second!" "So, she's the daughter of a greek family," "Not the goat mascot of a greek fraternity." "[Laughs] doesn't this beat all?" "!" "Come on." "Talk about embarrassing." "Oh, xandir's not gonna believe this!" "[Flies buzzing]" "Oh, my god." "[Retches]" "Sir!" "You're a fucking idiot, sir!" "[Grunts]" "Stanley?" "Sorry, barbara." "I need someone who makes me feel passion," "Not just some desperate middle-Aged hag." "You want to join us in here?" "Oh, stanley." "This is the best i deserve." "[Dog barking]" "Hey, sugar pie!" "[Yelps]" "Toot braunstein," "We have this court order to stop you" "From spending the jun-Jee's money." "Hey, i'm no slut!" "I earned this money!" "I've been letting jun-Jee ram his tank into my tiananmen square!" "Sadly, he always ignores the little student." "No, it's my money!" "It's my money!" "It's my money!" "Silence!" "Toot: husband!" "How long have you been standing there?" "Long enough." "Ling-Ling, you do not deserve inheritance." "And you, toot, you no love jun-Jee." "You just marry me for money." "So, jun-Jee decide no one get his fortune." "Yoko ono!" "Yoo-Hoo ho ho!" "Jun-Jee spend it all" "On only dream jun-Jee have left:" "I buy ticket on space shuttle to moon!" "Peace out, y'all!" "Say, herb, did you get your nose straightened?" "." "Yeah, now nobody can tell i'm a jew" "[Canned laughter]" "Captain hero: so, i guess as it turns out," "You're not actually a goat." "Foxxy gots to keep a closer eye on you retards." "I know, i know." "This is totally the kind of crap" "That makes you lose your charter." "Well, i learned my lesson." "Kids, don't do something you know is wrong" "Just to be accepted into some cool club." "And i guess i have learned" "That not everything with hair on it" "Is a goat." "Which would mean..." "That's right, captain hero!" "Your leg is not a goat." "[Goat bleats]" "What do we do with little georgina?" "We got to get her back to her family." "We gots to go to greece!" "Both: road trip!" "Off the weave, ho!" "Captain hero narrating:" "and so, we began our journey to greece" "To reunite yet another war-Torn family." "I had always dreamed of going to greece." "I only hoped it was as beautiful as it looked in the movies." "[All gasp]" "[All scatting]" "Wow!" "Grease!" "It's amazing." "It's beautiful!" "It's the word!" "Come on, ling-Ling." "We have to go to nasa and stop your father." "We can't let him give away all my money!" "[Sighs]" "Please?" "I can't get there alone." "I need someone to hold the stick" "With the ho ho in front of me." "Dude, your money." "I would go." "Don't leave." "He'll kill me." "You want half my ho ho?" "!" "I should kill you where you stand!" "Ok." "That's fai r." "Let's go." "Hey!" "You have to shake it a little." "My eyes are attracted to motion." "[Cowbell clanks] [grunting]" "[Imitates chimpanzee]" "[Gunshot]" "First, jun-Jee check control panel." "Yes." "It looks like everything set" "To go straight ahead into space." "Jun-Jee ready for launch." "Announcer: t-Minus two minutes to raunch." "[Grunting]" "Honey, this is no way to spend my money!" "It not your money." "And trip to moon make jun-Jee happy." "You're right." "There is always something better" "Coming up next." "I don't need to blow fortune" "On trip to moon." "Besides, space turns asians into queers." "That only explanation for george takei." "Let's go, number one son." "Announcer: t-Minus 11..." "[grunting] 10..." "wait!" "9, 8..." "help!" "I'm stuck!" "I'm stuck!" "6, 5... 4, 3..." "god damn it!" "2, 1..." "[cowbell clanks]" "[Transporter hums]" "Oh, my!" "Oh, my yourself!" "Ooh!" "Oh, there go mr." "Georgiopoulos" "With them pink ladies." "Sir, you are just gonna laugh" "When you hear what happened." "Georgina?" "!" "Is that you?" "!" "Daaa-D!" "Oh, my sweet, sweet daughter!" "Oh, thank you, mighty thor!" "[Thunder]" "Once again, captain hero has saved the day!" "Honey, did that man hurt you?" "Did he touch you?" "Teen: hey, ho!" "?" "Like, what the hell did you do to george's kid" "Greased lightning!" "Sandy!" "Whoa." "♪♪ fraternity pledging ♪♪" "♪♪ had me a blast ♪♪" "♪♪ i was sleeping ♪♪" "♪♪ ♪♪ happened so fast" "♪♪ i grabbed the goat ♪♪" "♪♪ and ran for my life ♪♪" "♪♪ i tried to scream ♪♪" "♪♪ but he had a knife ♪♪" "Both: ♪♪ kidnapping ♪♪" "♪♪ oh, what a fling ♪♪" "♪♪ whoa, yeah, those pledging days ♪♪" "Women: ♪♪ tell us what happened next ♪♪" "Men: ♪♪ did you tie her up in chains?" "♪♪" "♪♪ did he have a big stick?" "♪♪" "♪♪ did you slap her around?" "♪♪" "♪♪ did he make you suck his ♪♪" "♪♪ big balls ♪♪ ♪♪ shooby-Do wop ♪♪" "♪♪ oh, yeah ♪♪ ♪♪ do-Wop ♪♪" "♪♪ mother-Freaking balls ♪♪" "Both: ♪♪ kidnapping ♪♪" "♪♪ oh, what a fling ♪♪" "♪♪ whoa, yeah ♪♪" "♪♪ those pledging--Ahh ♪♪" "♪♪ days ♪♪" "[Toot screams]" "[Beeping]"