"Monday.12PM.Yadin" "Yadin Yerushalmi." "Reuven Dagan." "Come in." "Are there any..." "What do you call it..." "Rules?" "Rules?" "To get started, I mean." "No, you decide how to start." "Meaning, I'm the costumer?" "You know, we have a saying:" ""The costumer is always wrong."" "No, it's a psychologists' joke." "Betipul Season 1 Episode 02 translated By Mataku" "I..." "Okay, do you recognize me?" "Am I suppose to?" "Of course!" "They told me you were the best." "Thanks, but..." "I believe that in my profession, "the best" is a personal opinion." "Wrong. "The best" is an empiric matter." "You're the best, I did my research." "2 ex-patients, a current one." "And one family member." "Distant relative." "You mean to say you've asked all those people about me?" "Yes." "Does that make you nervous?" "A little." "The fact that you've talked to a relative of mine  Yes, that makes me a little nervous." "You have nothing to worry about. everybody says you're the bomb. "THE BEST"" "Is it important to you to know I'm the best?" "Look, it's nothing personal." "I..." "I always go to the best." "When I go to the dentist, when I go to a mechanic." "How do they say?" ""When you buy cheap, you pay heavily"" "Okay." "And what do you think is "the best" in a psychologist?" "Let's see." "Do you recognize me?" "No." "I don't think so." "Let me help you..." ""The tonne pilot" means something to you?" ""Tonne"?" "No." "Try harder." "It was a little while ago." "Six weeks." "Ramallah." "A tonne sized bomb." "12 bodies, kids." "One wanted man lightly injured." "CNN, war crime." "The commander sleeps well at night?" "Remember?" "Yhea, yhea." "I think I remember that." "So that's me." ""The tonne pilot"." "You're not very heavy on the internet, huh?" "Whatever, Somebody in the navy must really like me, because last week my picture showed up in a Dutch anarchist website." "Not very up to date." "When I was 18, from a trip to Holland..." "So it's possible that while I'm sitting here, billions of Arabs are downloading my picture as their screen saver." "Rediculess, huh?" "Would you like to tell me why you came to me?" "Look, I'm about to surprise you a little with that..." "But we'll get there." "I imagine that there's..." "Somthing intriguing..." "About looking at something like me, and think..." "How he bombed at night, and in the morning turned on CNN and saw all of those children's' bodies." "You're probably asking yourself what went through my head." "So if you are intrigued, let me tell you that it's irrelevant." "Because after a bombing like that I don't watch TV and I don't watch CNN." "I go to bed." "I'm exhausted." "Now you're probably asking yourself if I sleep at night, but you're holding back, right?" "Okay." "How do you sleep at night?" "I sleep great." "Under the assumption that I did everything I'm supposed to." "The best that I could." "What..." "What does that mean, "the best"?" ""The best", meaning that I hit the right building." "If you didn't hit the right building, then you're in trouble with yourself, with your conscience, and with the system." "But if you did hit..." "Like me, the right building, but with the wrong people inside, then it's not a problem." "I sleep like a baby." "I mean, I know there's a little discomfort when you hear about the result, but..." "It doesn't sit on my conscience." "And..." "When you've heard about the result of your bombing?" "When was it?" "Noon, the day after." "What..." "What did you hear?" "Do remember the moment?" "No, I was in the middle of a tennis game with a childhood friend." "He's..." "How to say, from a different world..." "He's gay." "So he had enough intuition to know I was the pilot from CNN, and he know enough not to bug me with it." "He just let me win that day." "Was it important to you to win in that moment?" "No." "But that's what he thought." "What did help is that I had a lot of errands." "Nine days worth of errands." "Like what?" "Errands, you know." "Investigations, aerial maps interpretation, talks with the navy." "Preparations for the next operation." "Meanwhile, we've got information as to where he really is, the guy whose name was on the bomb those kids got." "There's..." "There were a lot of errands." "Like my dad, when my mom died." "a lot of errands." "A year he handled errands." "From sunrise to sunset." "Handled the will, photo archive," "Her office, her garden." "Errends" "Whenever I would meet him I'd ask "how are you holding up?", you know, so he'll finally break down." "He would just say "it never ends"." ""Dini, It never ends." "Mom left such a mess, she didn't know she was going to die"" "A year later he finally finished all the errands and met a new woman, married her like it was nothing." "You know?" "Went through it without grieving." "And you didn't like that?" "It surprised me." "Still..." "They went through a lifetime together." "The man doesn't fall apart, nothing." "You know, it's interesting." "The parallelism you do between your mother's death and this bombing." "Very clever, but there's no comparison." "Meaning?" "Meaning, my mother's death was the most traumatic thing in my life "so far"." "And that bombing in Ramallah was just..." "Just another day in the long history of Yadin Yerushalmi." "There's no comparison." "The errands I had were navy procedures." "You know?" "A lot of work. 9 days, I'm telling you." "And on the tenth day..." "It was a Saturday, because I was due back in the navy the next day." "On the tenth day I went to play tennis again with my gay friend." "Does he have a name, this friend?" "Daniel." "Daniel the homo." "This time he didn't let me win." "Beat me." "But in a tie breaker." "So we had another game, and on that game, after three sets, I had a heart attack, and died." "Let's say it was an attack  The type they dream about reenacting in medical schools." "Lethal." "Classic, by any diagnosis." "By the ECG, by the venography, [a bunch of medical stuff]..." "I Should've been dead." "You know?" "In 97.3% of the statistic, I should've been dead." "I actually had 2.3% of staying alive, but like I've told you, I died." "Died?" "Meaning..." "Died, in the clinical way." "I had no pulse, no temperature." "Just brain activity." "Complete clinical death." "And here I'm sorry to disappoint you." "You're not going to ask how I'm suppose to disappoint you?" "Let me help you." "The light?" "And the tunnel?" "If I saw my life flash before my eyes, as I was flying into the light through the tunnel?" "That what you want to know, right?" "No." "I wasn't about to ask that, but if it's important to you, I'll ask it." "It's not important to me at all." "For everybody else it is." "Everybody and that story." "All that crap about the tunnel." "It's embarrassing to say, but even my wife, my father." "Everybody with that tunnel." "What nonsense." "And you've felt like you didn't deliver?" "That you disappointed them by not having that story?" "I don't know, I don't get it." "But you know what?" "Until today, nobody really knows what really went through my head in that moment of dying." "Once there was no tunnel, that wasn't even interesting." "And you?" "Did it interest you?" "Do YOU know what happened back then?" "Look, I had a pretty long time to figure it out." "You know it's an attack..." "You start fearing that this is the end." "And this whole time, until I passed out This whole time, don't know how long, maybe seconds, maybe half a minute...." "This whole time, I tried to figure out if I had a hard-on." "I don't know why at that moment, I remembered something that my grandma told me when I was in high school." "On how, when grandpa died.... ...She found him..." "Lying naked in the tub, with an erection like a guided missile." "He was 92, and she hasn't seen an erection like this on him for maybe 20 years." "It was a very happy visual for her." "She said this was the final gift god gives a man." "A dead man's erection." "You get it?" "So I'm lying there in the tennis court, remembering that story  Starting to figure out the situation, and thinking: "Dear god,"" ""Please don't give me a hard-on now, please don't"" "You mean, if you have one..." "It means I'm dead, of course." "And this whole time, Daniel is with you, and..." "And... you know, CPR, all that..." "He's a doctor, Daniel, I haven't told you." "For a moment I thought you were telling me something different." "That your fear of an erection has something to do with Daniel's presence over there." "Say, don't you think you're getting ahead of yourself?" "I'm explaining something very simple. a dead man's erection." "What does it have to do with Daniel?" "Listen..." "I feel like I wasn't clear before about "the costumer's always wrong"" "Perhaps it's more accurate to say that the costumer is sometimes misleading." "That he hides stuff, even from himself." "Sometimes, part of our job is to figure out this mislead." "That blind spot you choose to ignore." "So what?" "My blind spot is that I'm afraid of gay people?" "Not necessarily, but it was important to me to demonstrate that point." "Fine, it's not relevant to the topic." "I want to get to the point." "Go ahead." "In any case, I didn't have a hard on, so you can relax." "But I really remember the moment I missed my conscience." "Missed?" ""Missed my consciousness"." "It's a term my dad uses." "That's an interesting choice of words." "Is it the opposite of "gaining" conscience?" "It's like dealing with conscience, and even life, in a very strict way of..." "Gain and lost." "Is this another wrong for the costumer?" "I don't know, I haven't thought of it that way, but it fits the old man." "Everything is a gain or a lost." "Totally fits him." "And still you described your..." "your death moment, shall we say..." "Using your father's terminology." "Fine, with all due respect, I think we're getting too soon to the whole father-son thing." "I don't think it's suppose to show up this soon." "Am I wrong?" "You feel like it's too soon?" "Forget what I feel." "I know whether it's soon or not." "I want to know your opinion about it." "Meaning, you want to test me?" "See if I have the right answer?" "I'm paying you enough money for that, no?" "But you know  From the moment you've walked in here, you've been constantly testing me." "You say you've checked up on me." "That you interrogated my relatives." "You expect me to ask you questions you think I'm dying to ask." "It's really important that I hold up to the standards you've set up, right?" "And what?" "Is this wrong?" "Look..." "I was offered a shrink from the navy." "For free, right?" "And it's the navy, be sure that they offered the best there is." "But it didn't feel right, I don't..." "I don't trust them." "So I go, I look into some stuff...." "Drive for 40 minutes to get here, pay you good money..." "Telling you, without knowing you, the most secretive things possible, so what do you expect?" "That I'll give it all, like that?" "Blank?" "Without knowing anything about you?" "Okay." "And what do you expect to find in your test?" "How can tell if I'm the right psychologist for you?" "After your opinion, I'll know." "Opinion about what?" "About the question that I came here to ask." "I'll get there in a moment." "It's about what happened to me after I've returned from the freezing." "By 'freezing' you mean they've stopped you from flying?" "No..." "You don't understand." "Freezing." "Actually frozen." "I was frozen." "An intensive care car showed up, and they've put me in a freezing suit." "You were frozen?" "Frozen." "I didn't know they did that." "Now you know." "a Freezing suit." "And luckily for me, this type of thing only exists close to the tennis courts where I was at." "Know what?" "Let me tell you about it a little, so if you ever feel like jogging at night, you might want to do it over at Natanya beach." "I would rather hear how it relates-- Listen for a moment." "You have no patience." "You want to know why I'm here, so listen." "I was told you're a good listener." "Look..." "Overall, it works very simple." "By lowering the body temperature, you lower the pressure on the body." "Let's say..." "During CPR, right?" "They lower your temperature to 32, maybe 30 degrees C." "Using this suit which is a hypothermic suit, very simply constructed." "That way, any system failure that might accrue when the heart stopped working, is prevented." "And how long..." "How long are you frozen?" "It could take up to ... 12 or 24 hours" "And how long did it take for you?" "For me it took 48 hours." "It unprecedented." "There's no case like this." "I probably got very far in that.." "Tunnel." "The tunnel that didn't exist... right?" "Unfortunatly, no." "And was there something else during those 2 days of freezing?" "Do remember a feeling, or a thought?" "I remember, in shreds..." "I mostly remember great fatigue." "I'm guessing that's what they call being dead tired." "No, but really." "Physically, but mostly emotionally." "Great fatigue." "And also this..." "This security I felt when I realized I managed to pass through to this part of the world." "Mannaged?" "Meaning, you thought it was under your control." "Again you insinuating something?" "I'm not insinuating." "I'm trying to tell you that you're describing a great will to live." "That in your experience, you had a very clear choice to keep on living." "Yhea." "Fine." "I guess you're right." "And then, instead of appreciating that decision, that powerful will power..." "That kept you alive, everybody's disappointed in you." "Listen, people..." "They don't meet someone who's back from the dead every day." "Then, if you don't deliver the goods..." "Are you also disappointed from it?" "I was mostly pissed off from lying there, answering their question and unable to walk out of there." "I was never in a hospital, od you get it?" "Never." "People who know me don't get it." "Don't get how I got in that situation." "So maybe your anger isn't directed at the people who bugged you about the tunnel." "Maybe it's more at yourself?" "at your body, it's betrayal over you." "This sort of system failure shouldn't have happened." "Not to you." "Listen." "I've got a brother." "kind of stupid." "A realtor." "Whatever...." "Anyway, he's a great soccer player." "And he once explained to me..." "That the strikers of soccer are the essence of the game." "They score the goals, you know?" "There's nothing more than that." "Now, he's a real beautiful person, my brother, right?" "And he proved to me once..." "And he looked into it, be sure of it." "That all the best strikers in the history of soccer were also the most beautiful people in the game." "Pelle, Van Basten, Paulo rossi." "I remember them from my childhood." "The most beautiful people." "Even here." "Ohana, Makhness..." "The most beautiful students in the classroom were also the best strikers, and you know why?" "I have no idea." "It has nothing to do with soccer." "Understand," "When they received the talent, when they were gifted by whoever the hell is handing out the gifts, they got the whole package." "The looks, and the talents." "That's the way it is." "It's evolutionary." "And how are you at soccer?" "I'm a pilot, you know?" "Soccer players are the simpletons' version." "We're the Cream De La Cream." "You need to realize that you're talking to a man whose life has been fixed on target." "We pilots were born like this." "It's just you, the common people, who imagine that we chose to be like this." "We didn't choose this." "It's life that chose us." "To be the best." "What does it mean "life chose you"?" "See, you don't become a pilot when you're 20." "When you're 7 or 8, in the 3rd grade  You know that because you're the best, because you're the most talented, you'll be a pilot." "And when you're 24 you'll marry the class' beauty." "You're the best." "And when you're just under the best, you're disappointed." "You're angry." "No, that's not..." "Say, how much time do we have left?" "We still got time." "I'll let you know when it's time." "Good, because I finally want to get to the point with you." "I came here to consult something with you." "Okay." "Look, I decided to go back there." "The place where it all began." "Do you know what I'm saying?" "I'm listening." "I've decided to go back there." "You mean the place you've bombed?" "Fate intervened, and Daniel is a volunteer in "Doctors for human rights"." "They drive every Saturday to the territories and give out medical care." "This Saturday they arrive at..." "Ramallah." "To the street of..." "The building." "And I'm thinking about joining them." "Going to Ramallah?" "It intrigues me." "I want to see how it looks from the ground." "Listen." "I know what you're thinking, and let me set it straight." "I don't have any guilt." "I've told you, I sleep great at night." "Real great." "Okay." "So why do you still want to go there?" "Donno." "It.." "It intrigues me." "From the moment I unfroze, I realized this is where I'm headed." "It came up in one of the talks with Daniel, when he came to visit me in the hospital." "He made fun on how I was breaking them and he was fixing them." "In short, ever since then I've been waiting that the organization gets there." "The problem is, he thinks I've gone mental." "Daniel..." "He's panicking about what might happen to me." "He thinks it's a psychotic act, or..." "Or something, so he told me he wouldn't sign me on unless I saw someone first." "Psycologist, psychiatrist, something like that." "And you don't find it dangerous?" "that trip?" "Not really." "They always have volunteers with them." "Except Daniel, nobody knows who I am or what I am." "And what about..." "That photo on the internet?" "As if anyone over there is connected to the internet." "Besides, you've seen the photo." "Rediculess." "My mother wouldn't recognize me like that." "Not to mention Michaela." "Who's Michaela?" "My wife." "Does your wife know about this plan of yours?" "Are you crazy?" "What's her connection to this?" "You don't feel like she should know about this?" "You know what?" "It doesn't work for me, this whole "What do you feel?" "What do you think?"" "I'm asking you something." "I came here with a very clear agenda." "I need a second opinion, that's all." "Second opinion to who?" "To Daniel." "So I would know that a professional doesn't think I'm psychotic or something." "So you want me to tell if that action of yours  Is what?" "Sane?" "Somthing like that." "You..." "Actually want me to take responsibly over this trip." "Give me a break, don't turn me into an idiot." "What are you saying?" "That I can't take responsibly?" "I'm not saying." "I'm exploring, together with you." "You know how you've said that life chose you to be a pilot?" "That it wasn't your decision?" "It's possible that this is the type of world view you've adjusted to, and comfortable with because it strips you of responsibly?" "you don't decide." "It's your commander that sent you..." "The fleet admiral sent you, the chief of staff sent you..." "Now you're telling me in need you to be my fleet admiral or something?" "Could be." "Okay, acceptable." "So will you be my Fleet Admiral for the 400 shekels I'm paying you?" "I'm not sure I'm qualified for that." "But maybe you could be your own fleet admiral?" "You know what?" "Forget it." "Forget it, I understand I won't get anything from you." "And you're supposed to be the best." "Listen..." "I'm not the best." "Okay?" "And Daniel isn't the best." "And nobody's the best." "You're the best." "Tell me yourself, the consequences of this trip." "A pilot that goes back the street he had bombed in Ramallah just a month and a half ago..." "During war." "And that information about him was leaked here and there." "I've seen the photo." "I think it's definitely recognizable." "Would you approve of such an act if you were a fleet admiral?" "So what are you saying?" "that you agree with Daniel?" "That I've gone crazy or something?" "Say..." "How long did you guys played there?" "You and Daniel?" "The day you had the attack?" "Donno..." "Something like... 6 hours?" "6 hours?" "That's a lot, isn't it?" "Yhea." "You know, usually we just play one game." "Actually, Daniel wanted to quit..." "He had this thesis..." "About the ratio between normal pulse and the target work out pulse." "He said it shouldn't be more then 85%." "Meaning that it's dangerous." "Daniel said it was dangerous back then, too." "He was right, wasn't he?" "What..." "What are you trying to say?" "I think it interesting that right before you went back to flying  you insisted on bringing yourself to such an extreme exertion." "Risky, isn't it?" "it's like you insisted on not going back to flying." "I have no problem with flying again." "I'm going to do it soon, too." "Still, did you think of the connection between your collapse and what happened before it?" "Maybe it has something to do with this new, more dangerous game you're about to enter?" "I think that for someone who has no guilt  It seems to me like you're really trying to make up for your bombing, aren't you?" "Say, do you have any coffee?" "I need some good coffee." "I think we're out of time." "What do you mean?" "I still have some stuff I need to discuss." "Fine, I would love to talk about it on our next session." "If you feel the need to meet with me this week, you can call me any time." "It seems very important." "Fine, I'll take it into account." "Anyway, I should probably pay you now." "Who knows if I live through the inferno." "I'll mail you the receipt." "Forget it." "You're not going to wish me good luck?" "Good luck."