"Since the Goddess had destroyed the demons Chan and Mun..." "Since the Goddess had destroyed the demons Chan and Mun..." " she began to be called..." " Goddess Chamunda." "Nice." "Very nice." "Very good story." "Anybody else wants to tell a story?" "Or should we go for dinner?" "How much more time will it take?" "Another twenty minutes." " Miss..." " Yes Jackie, Chakki" "We have a story." "Okay Jackie, Chakki, begin your story." "Jackie, Chakki is it a ghost story?" "No, we are going to tell the story of the elders in our house." "Oh my God!" "That means a story about Hansa, Praful, Babuji, Jayshree and Himanshu." "So, in a way it is a ghost story" "Once, when God came by distributing wisdom..." "Some people weren't at home and so weren't blessed with wisdom." "But, when He came by our place..." "The elders were indeed present..." "But still..." "Grown-ups are grown-ups!" " Jaysh ree..." "Yes!" "Hey Jayshree" "Yes, Babuji..." "Are you getting some tea for me or should I order from outside?" "Oh God!" "Be patient." "Mr. Grumbles!" " Jayshree" " Coming." "Here is your tea." "Today you also get breakfast with your tea... upm a." "Why is that?" "The maid called in sick." "I had to give it to someone!" "Even the beggar didn't show up!" "Hello Jayshree here, I've got bad news." "The maid has not turned up today." "The utensils are dirty in the kitchen." "There is no one who can clean up, is there?" "The kids are at school, studying!" "They even stand first in class." "Jaysh ree!" "I will call you later, Babuji is calling." "Jaysh ree!" "Yes, he is still alive." "What is it?" "Jayshree this breakfast tastes weird." "I was in a hurry and the dish slipped onto the floor." "So?" "I told Praful that the breakfast is on the floor." "And I asked him to put it back into the dish and mop the floor with phenyl." "But he mopped the floor with some phenyl..." "And then, put the upma back into your plate." "How is it?" "Horrible!" "Disgusting!" "This upma is unfit to eat." "I meant phenyl!" "How does the phenyl taste?" "I stole a pack from the supermarket the other day" "Jayshree, phenyl is as good as poison." "What if I die?" "No, Babuji, not today." "The maid hasn't come in today and the kids have their exams." "Just hold on till the vacations." "I'll help you myself." "Finally the maid is here." " But..." " Here, hold this." "Just a minute, Vasanti." "Hey!" "Switch off the light." "Who are you?" "I am God, the Lord of wisdom." "I'm here to bless you with wisdom." "I thought my maid had finally arrived." "There's some guy here, who says his name is God." "Move aside." "Hey..." "listen to me." "I need to look for the maid." "Can you take me to Ghatkopar?" "'With pleasure." "Bless you." "Charioteer, you won't find parking in Ghatkopar." "Please come in..." "Hansa..." "Praful..." "please come in." "Please, have a seat." "Make yourself comfortable." "Hansa, Himanshu, Praful..." "Where have all of you disappeared?" "I'm here." "This is my eldest son, Praful." "I am Praful." "My name is Praful." "When people call out, 'Praful', I answer." "These lips answer." "That's enough." "Where is Hansa?" "Babuji, allow me." "I'll call out to her." "Hansa!" "Hansa!" "What is it Praful?" "What is?" "My Hansa..." "she is coming because I called her." "I'm so tired!" "This is my daughter-in-law, Hansa." "Hello, how are?" "Eat something before you leave." "What is this?" ""Eat something before you leave?"'" "Why don't you start by asking about water?" "What time do you get water at your place?" "I meant, water to drink." " Why just water?" "What Babuji'?" "!" "Have some of this." "I've just prepared it." "It's delicious." "What is this made of?" "You do know the baby-soft cheeks of women, don't you?" "From milk-cream just as soft as the cheeks." "He is Hansa's brother?" "Yes, Himanshu!" "And I am God." " Oh, what is it that you do?" "God, in whose honour temples are built." "Rajnikanth?" "The legendary actor?" "No, God, the Almighty" "I'm here to distribute wisdom." "Oh you mean, the Almighty?" "You mean the God?" "The one up there?" "Of course!" "Why else would I be dressed up like this?" "Not necessarily." "Perhaps you're participating in a fancy dress competition..." "And you are competing as God." "We participate every year." "I was a teacher last year." "Now watch me." "Is she a teacher?" "Then, why isn't she teaching?" "Because right now she is at home." "A teacher teaches in school, not at home." "You don't expect her to say B for Biryani, D for Dhokla, G for Masala all day..." "M for Masala." "I meant Garam Masala." "You pretended to be a teacher at home?" "Did the audience get that?" "Yes, and that's why we won first place." "First prize?" "What did you do?" "Himanshu was dal." "You call this dal?" "Yes, dal on the floor." "And look at father." "He was the vessel." "But he is still on top." "Because only dal fell down, the vessel didn't." "Oh, can you" "Hold on, have a look at what Praful pretended to be." "Praful..." "What is that?" "Ta] Mahal." "I was the Taj Mahal" "Just a minute" "I got that you were a teacher, he was the dal and he the vessel." "But you?" "You don't look like the Taj Mahal." "Praful became the Taj Mahal during the Mahabharat period." "But the Taj Mahal wasn't built then." "And that's precisely why I don't look like the Taj Mahal." "Please use your common sense." "And he said he is distributing wisdom!" "Who designated you as God?" "It is said that no one can obstruct God's work." "But when it comes to our family, God is also helpless." "Here's another story" "It's called 'A Pointless Love Story'." "The story begins on a dark night, when the elders went to Chakku Singh's house." "Jaysh ree!" "Babuji, what happened?" "Why are you yelling?" "Look at this." " This is Chakku Singh." " Now what?" "Oh, Babuji!" "Himanshu will be accused of murder instead of robbery." "Life imprisonment, that's it." "Your Honour, the accused in the witness box..." "May be acting like a fool, but he is a cold blooded killer." "He tried to kill Chakku Singh Ahluwalia with a knife and..." "I shall prove this." "Himanshu was accused of murder?" "Yet he was happy about it?" " But who is Chakku Singh?" " He is the one..." "Why are you revealing the climax?" " it's okay." " Silence!" "Just forget about Chakku Singh..." " The story begins with an inauspicious phone call." "Babuji, push it hard or else the movie will end here." "The movie in the theatre will begin." "You eat food enough for two people, don't you?" "Mummy, mummy, phone!" "Very good, Chakki..." "Tell me, what is this?" "What is?" "Hansa, what she meant is there is call for you." "Hello" "Jayshree..." "Hold the phone, Jackie." "Hansa!" "Hansa, there's bad news." "Your father is counting last breaths." "Oh!" "Whose breaths?" "His own!" "He wants to see you and Himanshu." "Mummy, the call got through uncle Himanshu." "Got through Himanshu?" "What went through him?" "I hope he is alright." "It's just a string of bad news today." "Think positive Hansa, think positive." "Hello Himanshu, head to your dad's place as soon as possible." "He has started dying." "I'll be there as soon as I sell these tickets." "Father, you're dying too soon..." "what is your age?" "Well, I don't know, Himanshu." "Brother Chandrakant." "Praful..." "Hansa, my dear, please don't cry." "Okay." "Everyone has to go, and it could happen anytime." "Yes, Praful went about five-six times last night." "That's because it was very cold last night." "Hansa, Praful, he isn't talking about going to the loo." "Chandrakant..." "You can leave your worries behind with me." "I am only worried about Himanshu." "Father..." "what's happening?" "!" "Father!" "Now, who'll dance at my wedding?" "We will dance, Himanshu." "Moreover, father has two left feet." "He embarrassed himself with his dance, at the Navratri festival." "Hansa please..." "he wants to say something." "Go on." "My dear, I don't think I'm a bad dancer." "And those dance steps..." "The bright lights in the night sky..." "Here we go!" " Quiet!" " Why?" "Are you telling us your last wish or not?" "Quickly!" "Tulsidas, you know my son Himanshu..." "Is a very straight forward, handsome and cultured boy" "Praful, what do you mean by cultured?" "Hansa, cultured..." "You know Murali, the coconut seller, don't you?" "When he gets tired climbing the coconut tree..." "His mother, Chelamma, tells him..." ""Son, you are tired now. "" "She says, "kal chadh" [climb tomorrow]." "Oh... climb tomorrow!" "Yes, tomorrow..." " Oh no!" "Hansa, cultured means..." "I'll explain it to them." "Now, hurry with your last wish!" "Himanshu has had only one dream all his life." "You must fulfill that dream." "Sure, I will." "But tell me what it is?" "That is..." " his - his?" " His..." " What?" "His" "Soon" " Chandrakant!" "Now, how will I know what was Himanshu's only dream?" "!" "Babuji, Himanshu knows that." "And I am alive." "Only father has passed away." "Himanshu... father is gone!" "Father!" "Father!" "You've le'ft us!" "Open your eyes, father." "Nobody will ever know." "123123" "Ladies and gentlemen..." "I feel Mr. Chandrakant has left us." "So, in memory of Mr. Chandrakant Tribhuvandas Sheth..." "We present this hymn." " Hold on..." " Hansa, wait..." " I feel there is a deluge of emotions." " Let's begin the next hymn." "I am tired, Praful." "Jayshree, crying won't help." "I can't help it, Babuji." "The maid didn't show up today." "And neither did the dry-cleaner." "Just look at the state of my saree." "Be positive Hansa, be positive." "No, sister, no" "Here, have father's favourite dish, pani puri." "Here Jayshree, have some" "Hold on..." "They've put less mint in the pani puri." " Father!" " When it rains misfortunes, it really pours!" " Our next hymn is 'Your Seductive Lips'." "Babuji,just hold this." "Come we will listen to the hymn." "Go get some more." "Now listen to me, Himanshu." "Your father's last wish was to fulfill your only dream." "What is this dream?" "Jayshree, my dream is to fall in love with a girl..." "Who is sweet and spicy like pani puri." "My wedding should be grand!" "I wish to have a lot of babies." "My wish is to have an epic love story..." "Immortal, unforgettable, a part of history like Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge, Ram Teri Ganga Maili..." "Tarzan, Paapi Gudiya." "We get it!" "But Himanshu to give life to your great love story we need a girl." "Have you ever thought about that?" "Have you ever fallen in love?" "No problem, the responsibility to find your dream girl..." "Is mine!" "But Jayshree, I gave my word to the dying Chandrakant." "It's been six months and you still haven't found a maid." "And you think you can find Himanshu's dream girl?" "!" "Go and look for the maid!" "While I find the perfect bride for Himanshu." "Hello grandma, it's Jayshree..." "Hello grandma, it's Jayshree..." "Hello Jyotsana, Jayshree here..." "Hello John Abraham Kumar, Jayshree here..." "Yes, we are looking for a girl for Himanshu." "There's no problem if she is the only daughter of a millionaire." "Here are his details." "He is six feet in heels and without them, five feet!" "Age?" "About 2032 years old." "No mad girls, please." "We already have Babuji." "I can't take care of two mad people!" "Hello Great Modern Circus..." "Obama Kumar, this is Jayshree." "I don't mind if she eats meat in a restaurant or any other place." "She can even eat Babuji, if she wishes." "It's done, I've covered the world for you." "Now, the phone is going to be ringing off the hook." "(Ring, at least now...)" "Jayshree went to Goa to look for a maid." "While they are busy playing a game of carom." "And I have to do the work around here." "Himanshu, the phone is ringing." "Babuji, that's why they say..." "'In God's world there are delays, but no mosquitoes'." "'In God's world there are delays, but no darkness. '" "And therefore, no mosquitoes." "They only come after dark." "Whose phone is it?" "This phone belongs to us." "Instead ask, 'who is it'?" "Who is it?" "For the Parminders next door." "I will call them." "(It rang, but alas...)" "Parminder!" " 'What is it'?" "!" " 'What is it'?" "!" " 'What is it'?" "!" " 'What is it'?" "!" "There is a call for one of you Parminders." "I'm coming!" "Hello, Parminder speaking." "Chavanprash?" "No, I didn't order that." "Probably another Parminder." "Next..." "Make it quick." "Don't worry." "All of you will get to talk." "Don't step out of the queue." "No Tulsidas, only Parminders." "Okay, fine!" "How long..." "What a crazy family!" "Why is everyone in their family called Parminder?" "There are 65 members in their family." "And if each of them had a different name, would anyone remember all the names?" "It would be so difficult for the brain." "But..." "You just love to find faults." "Himanshu..." "Jayshree, Babuji is being a pain." "Dump him in the boot of the car." "Please don't..." "Now you can live inside" "We will provide you with food and water." "Never mind him." "Himanshu..." "Himanshu" "There is an out of this world proposal for you." "The only daughter of a millionaire." "Mother is dead." "We'll see to it that the father doesn't hang around for too long." "Tell us about the girl." "World best!" "A-one!" "Just one problem." "She has a slight moustache." "What was that?" "A moustache?" "So?" "Even I have a moustache." "Everyone has their weaknesses." "You just want to look for defects." "We are going to meet that girl on Sunday." "And she shaves on Sundays." "We can shave together on the weekends." "Please, take this match to the next level." "And then my great love story can move forward." "Nobody will know a thing." "You idiot!" "Babuji, the cuckoo is calling out to you." " Go on." " Quiet!" "Babuji, this is the best house in the world." "Himanshu!" "Hello, how are...?" "Eat something before you leave." "Hansa, we are in their house!" " Greetings." " Hello." "Shall we consider this a match?" "Sit down, please." " Sit down." "Hello." "Any difficulty in locating the house?" "Never, we always find our house." "Isn't that right?" "Praful, he meant his house!" "So, you agree to this match, D'Silva Kumar?" "First, let's get to know each other." " This is my daughter." " Is that so?" "In that case, you should already know her pretty well." "I am her father." "A father will always know a daughter well." " It isn't always so." " Here we go!" "My friend, Dakshesh, doesn't know Elizabeth at all." "That's because Elizabeth isn't Dakshesh's daughter." "I know, but she is Peter's daughter." "I'm sure Peter knows." "No!" "Peter doesn't know Dakshesh." "Elizabeth!" "He knows Elizabeth, doesn't he?" "You mean Dakshesh?" "Peter!" "Peter knows his daughter, right?" "How can that be possible?" "If Peter doesn't know Dakshesh, so how can he know his daughter?" "Forget him, please forget Dakshesh." "Forget?" "But why?" "Why should Praful forget poor Dakshesh?" "He is Praful's only friend..." "The only one who wishes Praful whenever he sees him." "Now, listen..." "Himanshu, talk to his daughter." "Hi." "What is your name?" "Maggie." "Masai?" "I'm sure you get ready in two minutes..." "like Maggi noodles!" "That's obvious, isn't it?" "Excuse me!" "Maggie is short for Margaret." "She is called Maggie affectionately, get that?" "Is that so?" "My name is Praful." "Nobody ever calls out to me affectionately." "People only abuse me or curse me." " Just read the magazine!" "Himanshu..." "How well read are you?" "I just started reading." "He means education, Himanshu." "Well, I've studied till October." "What do you mean?" "He got admission in June..." "And he was expelled in October." "Shall we consider this done, D'Silva Kumar?" " Rocky!" " Jayshree, run!" " Rocky, bite all of them." "Get out!" "If you want a bride for Himanshu, go to the mental hospital in Pune." "Why should we go to the mental hospital in Pune?" "His bride should be from Mumbai, not Pune." "Hemlatha's procession will never leave for your house." "I don't care about the procession." "I just want to marry Hemlatha." "No one will come to know." "Ritupurna as a bride for Himanshu?" "Never!" "She is my own daughter." "Not an adopted one." "What about your adopted daughter?" "You could get her married off to Himanshu." " Get lost!" " Sorry" "I'd get my daughter married off to this old chap..." "But I'd rather have poison than let her marry Himanshu." "Well, here is the poison." "Idiots!" "Himanshu, open the door!" "Why are you taking a bath in the kitchen?" "Grandpa, he isn't taking a bath." "He's dousing himself with kerosene." "Mummy, come quick." "Himanshu has doused him self with kerosene." " Oh Lord!" "Somebody stop him!" "Hansa, leave it to me." "I'll stop him." "But you only gave the kerosene container to him." "Yes, Chakki but..." "I thought he wants to apply it on his hair." "Nobody applies kerosene on their hair, idiot." "Why not?" "Yesterday Jayshree gave it to you and you applied it on your hair." "That's right." "And you even laughed about it." "That was kerosene?" "Well, we were out of hair oil..." "No wonder you were chasing me with a matchstick!" " I'll teach you a lesson." " Not now!" " Himanshu!" "Where is the match box?" " Himanshu?" " What is it?" "Come to the door, listen to me." " Himanshu!" "Don't lose heart." "Nobody wants to marry me!" "My great love story hasn't even begun." "My friend, Bhadresh is already divorced." "Really?" "And I'm yet to find a girl." "Why are you comparing yourself with others?" "Grandpa!" "Praful, what does compare mean?" "Hansa, compare..." "What does Aunt Jashoda say in the summer?" "She says that in winter, her legs hurt a lot..." "But in summer her legs hurt less." "Oh yes, in Hindi 'kum pair' means legs hurt less." "Oh so that is what compare means!" "That's over." "Let's get back to work!" " Himanshu, kerosene is very expensive!" "Aunt Jayshree, I opened the door." "Stop it, uncle Himanshu." " Chakki, open this door." "Oh Lord!" "Put it down!" " Himanshu, come outside." " No..." " Let me go!" " Hansa, let him sit." " Babuji, I'm tired." " Fine, let's go there." "Let me go, please." "Sit." "Jayshree, I thought I'd have a great love story." "Which I could narrate to my dozen children." "A dozen children'?" "Obviously, he'd need a dozen children." "He would probably misplace four-five." "He is very careless and misplaces his things all the time." "These things take awhile, Himanshu." "In the movie Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge', Shahrukh and Kajol faced so many obstacles." "Take Praful's example." "433 girls rejected him before he met Hansa." "And a hundred even thrashed him." "For every Praful there is a Hansa." "So, don't lose heart." "Somewhere in this world..." "Is the queen of your great love story." " We need to choose a name for our daughter." " Papa, which is the auspicious alphabet?" " P!" " P for Parminder, how's that?" " Parminder and Parminder's daughter's name is Parminder." "My dear, why didn't attend the baby's naming ceremony?" "And what are you doing?" "Remember you told me to take your picture without fail." "See, I took it out of the album." "Oh Lord!" "You thought this is what I meant by taking the picture?" "I meant take a picture that has both of us in it." " Here, take this picture." " Okay." "Here, this is a good picture." " Now, this is much better." " Okay." "Parminder!" "Yes!" "Yet again, there's a call for you." " Okay" " I'm coming." "Let's go dear." "Come on, all of you." " Hello, Parminder speaking." "No, I didn't place an order." "Wasn't for me." "Hansa, again the Parminder army is here." "Parminder!" "Sir!" "If your fixed line phone isn't working, can't you at least buy a mobile?" "Sir, please." "Be cool." "I've been cool for so long that now I have a cold!" "We get five-six calls every day." ""Hello, please call Parminder"." "And your Parminder army storms into my house." "In the end, it's always for your sister." "Hello... this is Parminder." "Buffalo?" "Yes, I placed an order for one." "I told you!" "Everybody has a pet dog." "I thought, I'd keep a buffalo." "Please send it across." "Sir, I have a solution to this." "What?" "Give you the phone?" "No." "I want to give my sister to your family" "What do you mean?" "Sir." "If Parminder marries Himanshu..." "She won't need to come all the way to your house to attend the call." "And Himanshu's throat will also get rest." "Sir." "What do you think?" "Jayshree, bring the sweets." "We got a bride for Himanshu." "Finally his great love story has begun." " Even if we go looking with a lamp..." "We won't find a better match, for our darling daughter, than you." "We had no idea that your sister Parminder loves Himanshu." "My sister definitely loves him and even grandpa is fond of him ." "Destiny, Himanshu." "Until yesterday you couldn't find a match." "And now you have two proposals from the same family." "But I only love his sister Parminder..." "Because I barely know grandpa." "Come on Parminder and Himanshu." "'llme for the engagement rings." "Do it soon." "Himanshu, now it's your turn." "Yes, go on." "They are engaged!" "Babuji, give the gifts." "Paminder, you idiot..." "Here are the gifts and..." "A dozen phones!" "Thank you, sir." "Let's start the celebration!" "Yes, come on!" "Everybody dance!" "These local dancers are fine for the engagement but..." "But film stars should perform at the wedding." "Holy Lord!" "What's wrong?" "How could you say that!" " You can ask for anything else but..." " Film stars!" "I hate film stars!" "This girl here is my niece, Parminder." "She was married to a film star." "But that rascal!" "He started torturing her a week after their marriage." "He tortured her so much that now her hand is fractured." " Calm down, son." "How can I calm down?" "!" "If her car breaks down somewhere on the road..." "She can't even ask for a ride with that hand." "Praful, she could use the other hand." "But what if she wants to go the other way?" "And if she wants to kill a mosquito..." "Let's discuss this inside." "Let's go." " Himanshu, talk to your fiance." "Say something." "If the curry is salty, add some curd to balance the taste." "No one would ever find out." "For fresh vegetables go to the new market." "The old Bhonsale market has closed down." "You won't find a soul there." "Tell me something about yourself." "Earlier, I'd buy all the masalas at the Bhonsale market, but not anymore." "But now I grind them at home, in the small jar of 1:he food processor." "What turns you on?" "Quite a few things." "The food processor, the toaster..." "And when you put on the engagement ring..." "I was turned on the most!" "Tell me more, your favourite film ?" ""Taare Zameen Par"." "Really?" "Watching the troubled autistic boy..." "Brought back memories of my childhood." "So, even you were forced to attend a boarding school?" "No, the school forced me to go back home." "They would say, "Keep him at home." "We can't teach him. "" "That's enough for now." "You know everything about me." "Why don't you tell me about yourself." "Everybody at home is very fond of me." "My brother fills up with pride when he sees me." "But I'm confused when I see myself." "Is it really me in the mirror or is someone else hiding behind it?" "There she goes again." "You're very cute, Himanshu..." "And quite handsome too." "You're extra beautiful, Parminder." "2" " F-2-M-P-2-K-2-P-2-A." "What does that mean?" "That means, you're as good as 2 farsan, 2 mishtan... 2 kadhi, 2 puri-paratha and 2 aachar..." "You're the perfect meal." "There goes my meal!" "Oh Himanshu!" "Parminder..." "I love you." "So, take me, take me away!" "Where do you want to go?" "To a place..." "Where it's just me and you..." "And no other person." " Bhonsale Market?" " Yes!" "Himanshu, garland Parminder now." "Stop it, Himanshu." "Parminder, why did you say that in Punjabi?" " Why not?" " You have to say in Gujarati." "Okay Parminder, you can put the garland now." "Wait Himanshu!" "Wait." "Come over here, right now." "I'll be back." "Oh Lord!" "You look exactly like me." "Who are you?" "I am you, Himanshu!" "Now pay attention." "Don't get married." "Run away from here." "Nobody will ever know." " But why?" "I don't know." "Then, what do you know?" "What I know is that, if you get married today..." "It will be a major disaster." "Don't get married, Himanshu." "Run away from here, Himanshu." "Hansa, brother-in-law..." "Jayshree, Babuji..." " What happened, Himanshu?" " What is?" "What's wrong, Himanshu?" "Why are you screaming at this hour?" "What's the time, Hansa?" "Thirty one." "That is the date, Hansa." "Stop it!" "What happened, Himanshu?" "I just had a dream." "Good!" "No, a bad dream!" "What did you see?" "I saw that Parminder and I are about to marry." "And then I drop in." "Of course, you will make it to your wedding." "No, father." "I was already present there." "Then I also got there." "Oh no!" "Then what happened?" "I told myself that I shouldn't get married." "Okay... did you give yourself any reason?" "I didn't give any reason." "I asked myself for a reason." "But I gave no reply." "And I ran away from the venue." "Then what did you do?" "I ran away." "What I did after I ran away only I will know." "How should I know?" "!" "Jaysh ree!" "I got it." "Himanshu, that was your inner voice." "Every man is nervous about marriage." "He feels he may lose his freedom and be burdened with responsibilities." "That's not it, Jayshree." "Come on!" "I meant something else." "I'm terrified." "And isn't it said that early morning dreams come true?" "But it's still night." "I know, but it was morning in the dream." "We need to explain every little detail." "What will happen to him once we are gone?" "Don't take it seriously" "Hansa has been dreaming the same thing for four years now." "Really?" "Every morning at around 11 o'clock just when my eyes are about to open..." "I dream that Akshay Kumar is in our house." "And we are asking him for a photograph." " Autograph, Hansa!" " Yes, that as well." "But at that moment, we can't find a pen." "Then Akshay Kumar takes out blood..." "And signs an autograph for me." "And Babuji is very upset by this." "Why' would I be upset?" "Babuji, if there is blood gushing from your hand like a river, won't you be upset?" "Very brave, huh?" "Alright then, come on." "Hansa has dreamt this for four years now." "But it hasn't come true." "So... anyway don't worry about this." "Tomorrow is your wedding." "You will be dressed like a groom and riding a horse." "And the horse will head to Diamond Fort." "Hello grandma, it's Jayshree." "Himanshu was afraid to sit on the horse." "So Praful has taken his place." "After all, we have paid for the horse." "Praful, Parminder will welcome us in the Gujarati style and tradition, right?" "Yes, Babuji." "They will welcome us in the Gujarati style!" "That is when they get there." "What do you mean, 'when they get there'?" "They still haven't left the house." "The phone is ringing." "Jaysh ree!" "Babuji, stay calm, the phone is ringing." "Hello." "Hello Parminder, where are all of you?" "We are at home." "Oh Lord!" "What are you doing at home?" "I'm having sweets." "Okay, now give it to the other Parminder." "Just a minute." "Here you are." "Soon!" "Hello!" "Hello?" "I told you to give it to the other Parminder." "I did." "He ate the sweets." "Give the phone to him!" "Oh, here you are." "Hello Parminder, why aren't you at the venue to welcome the groom?" "Because we were told to be there at ten o'clock." "So?" "So it's only ten o'clock, right now." "If not at ten, when do you plan on making it?" " At ten o'clock." " Then why aren't you there?" "When we have to be there at ten, why should we be there at ten?" "So when will you arrive?" "At ten o'clock." "It is ten o'clock!" "It's ten in the morning." "We have to welcome the procession in the night." "And we thought it's ten in the morning." "We are ready and about to reach Diamond Fort." "If you're not there in the next 30 mins, we'll call off the wedding." "Come on, everybody hurry up!" " Oh no!" " Who are they'?" "!" "Himanshu, you're getting married?" "!" "And nobody invited me... what is?" "Himanshu is here." " Exactly" " Then who is there?" "What are they doing at our venue?" "Listen, Jayshree called, she said there is a problem at the venue." " They are really getting married?" " Yes." "Who is doing the catering?" "Mr. Arvindo." "They serve the drinks in steel glasses." " Replace the glasses." " Babuji." "Forget about the steel glasses." "We have booked Diamond Fort for today." " Right, Praful?" " Yes." "Come on!" " Get out of here." "We have booked this place." " Stop this wedding." " No, wait!" "Continue with the ceremony." "Have you lost it?" "I said stop it!" "Really?" "What a fine mess you've created!" "Thank you." "Praful, he thinks I've created a fine mess." "Shut up!" "Carry on with the ceremony." "Listen to me carefully." "We have booked this place for today." "We paid for it." "Look at the receipt." "I'm not a fool to print this address on the wedding invite." "I demand this wedding be stopped." " Yes, stop it." "So, you think I'm a fool to print the same address?" "Where is the receipt?" "Here, look at this." "Diamond Fort!" "Yu-Ta-Ben-Zeng-J Beijing..." "China?" "I booked the place, Babuji." "You may continue." "Praful, you idiot!" "Come on." "When the wedding is in Mumbai, why did you book Diamond Fort in China?" "The manager of Diamond Fort in China kept asking me about it!" "Tee-fon-fav-mi-shi-ching-chi- Mumbai-tong-chi-fui?" "He said tong-chi-fui?" "Then why did you book Diamond Fort in China?" "Babuji, you asked me to book Diamond Fort." "And, he had booked this Diamond Fort before we could." "Sol..." "What's important?" "Diamond Fort." "Go to China for the wedding." "Whom are you pushing?" "He pushed you." "You want us to explain that also?" "You pushed me?" "!" "Get lost, Red Turban!" "Take care of your dhoti!" "Don't try to act smart, Mr. Safari suit!" " Get out, boiled rice!" " Watch it, fish curry!" "One minute, daddy" "We had to overcome many obstacles to get married." "My parents were dead against Vyjayanti ." "Yes, that anyone would be!" "Vyjayanti, they won't understand Tamil." "They were fighting because we're from different communities." "We belong to different mindsets, different cultures." "It's a miracle that my father agreed to our marriage." "We were apart for two years." "Our love has overcome a lot of difficulties." "Vyjayanti's father is a beggar, my father is a landlord." "It is after great difficulty that we reached here." "I want my love story to become a legend." "I'll get my sister married into your family" "My love story should be an epic." "Famous in history." "My sister loves him a lot." "And even grandpa is fond of him ." "Don't get married." "Run away from here." "Nobody will ever know." "Jayshree, Hansa, Babuji..." " What happened, Himanshu?" " What is?" "My dream, Jaysh ree." "We are here to fulfill your only dream." "I'm talking about the other dream." "Now I've realised..." "Why I told myself to run away from the venue." "Why?" "If I get married without any obstacles..." "How will my love story become a legend?" "None of these things have happened in my love story." "Now, I've finally understood everything." "Jayshree, I still don't understand." "Hansa, what is the main masala of a love story?" "I don't know." "The boy and girl love each other, but their families are enemies." "Then comes the break up." "Misery and hurt, sad songs." "Suffering in pain because of the break up." "Finally meeting in the end or death!" "Forget about meeting in the end or death." "There's neither break up nor obstacles." "Got that, Praful?" "Instead, the girl's family came with the proposal." "All because of a phone." "Yes !" "Now what do we do, Jayshree?" "Jackie..." "Chakki..." "Where are?" "Everybody pay attention to what I'm saying." "If we are going make a legend of Himanshu's love story..." "And it has to be a legend." " When Chandrakant was on his deathbed..." "I gave him my word." "First of all, we have to stop Himanshu and Parminder's marriage." "Then the three-four steps which we skipped..." " Hansa, steps..." " Praful, I know what it means." "We have to retrace them." " Jackie..." "Chakki..." " Kids..." "Now, just watch what I do!" "Greetings, everyone." "We are here." "To turn this love story into an epic, do as I say." "For the first time Babuji can make himself useful." "They're here." "Babuji, act as if you're having a heart attack." "Heart attack, but how?" "Make a sound as if you're in pain." "Not a toothache." "Pain as if your heart is about to burst." "Acting, acting!" "Jayshree, I don't know to act." " If it were singing or dancing..." " Do you know anything at all?" "Okay, you can learn from Praful." "Praful, act like a blind man." "Babuji, look at me." "Super!" " Praful, that was a blind man?" " Yes." "A blind person would do this..." "I agree, but this blind man has a cough." "So a blind man with a cough would do this..." "Not this!" "Use your brains sometimes at least..." "Once upon a time..." "All done?" "Here, take this." "But this doesn't match my saree." "Now, do exactly as I say" "Okay." " Even if we go looking with a lamp..." "We won't find a better match, for our darling daughter, than you." "Hit Babuji on his legs." "Place your hand on your chest." "Now, fall down." " Oh Lord!" " Why are they on the ground?" "Why did all of you fall down?" "Jayshree, didn't you say, "do exactly as I say"?" "What happened, Hansa?" "All of us have a heart attack." "On the pretext that everybody had heart attacks they were admitted to the hospital." "And the wedding was postponed." "Later on, they convinced the Parminder family that it was acidity." "But the poor hospital..." "At the hospital, my father, Praful Parekh was let loose." " Hello..." " Hello." "What's wrong with you?" "Haemorrhage." "I didn't ask your name, Hemraj Kumar." "What are you suffering from?" "Are you suffering from something or..." "You were sleepy and saw an empty bed..." " Blood was leaking from my brain, mister!" " Oh." "Oh yes, and the leak hasn't stopped." "The blood has leaked from your hand into this bottle." "It's not going from my hand into the bottle." "The blood from the bottle is going into my veins." "Oh!" "So it's a blood transfusion." "Yes." "Is it real blood?" "It's blood transfusion, so it has to be real blood." "Not always!" "My friend Deepak was given a transfusion but of tomato ketchup." "Who was the doctor?" "My friend acted in a film..." "And the person who acted as the doctor, he did it." "Very nice film." " "Kabhi Khaansi, Kabhi Dum"." " Huh?" "Have you seen it?" "Brother-in-law!" "Silence please." "You've been sitting here all this while?" "Yes, with him." " Hello..." " What's wrong with you?" "Are you suffering from something or..." " Go back to sleep." " Where were you?" "In the operation theatre." "How is it?" "Nothing great!" "A few doctors had cut open someone's stomach..." "And were looking for something." "But the theatre didn't show any movies." "Praful!" "There he is!" "You are an idiot!" "Go back to sleep!" "What did I tell you about my room?" "You said it was difficult to call out for a nurse..." "And you said, "Place a bell in my room"." "So?" "What do you mean, so?" "I placed a bell." "Unbelievable!" "There goes the bell." "Come along with me, come on." "That's a bull, not a bell." "I need a bell to call the nurse." "The bull has a bell tied around it's neck." "Not that kind, but the kind that rings." "Ting tong!" "That's enough, Babuji." "You didn't specify a bell that rings." "And you definitely didn't mention 'ting tong'!" "I accept, my mistake." "Tell me something..." "How can I call the nurse with that bell?" "Instruct the nurse, if the bull goes 'moo', she should attend to you." "What if the bull doesn't go 'moo'?" "You can make the same sound, you're pretty good at it." "If the nurse will attend when I say 'moo', how does the bull help?" "You should have thought about this before asking for the bell." "We didn't know that you are as good as the bull." " What's important here, Himanshu?" " Moo!" "Himanshu and Praful, get dressed quickly." "Where is Hansa?" "She is in the ICU, getting her make-up done." " Really?" " Yes." "Jayshree, just look at Babuji." "Himanshu, drown him in the well!" "Grandpa, hold on to the rope." "One-two..." "pull the rope!" "Pay attention." "The turning of every great love story is..." "Pay attention." "The turning of every great love story is..." "The conflict between two families." "Objection!" "Hansa, did Babuji object to..." "Your marriage to Praful?" "Yes." "He had objected a lot." "Very good!" "Why did he object?" "Pudding!" "Pudding?" "Yes, Himanshu." "Once at the Ahmedabad bungalow, Babuji said..." ""Hansa, why don't you make some pudding."" "I made it." "Unfortunately, it got burnt." "All of it?" "Not the pudding, Himanshu." "The bungalow burnt down." "That's okay" " Jayshree, come to the main point." "Okay!" "Both Parminder and Himanshu belong to well to do families." "Neither is there any conflict nor any issues about faith." "So how do we create conflict?" "Pudding!" "Of course not!" "Character !" "If the Parminder family finds out that you are an alcoholic..." "And you're having an affair and also have an illegitimate child." "Then, they will say..." "Everybody!" " We'll die but not make you our son-in-law!" "Then com es the separation, the sad song..." "And then they reunite and a happy ending!" " What a ridiculous idea!" "Now, isn't that a great love story?" "That's a superb idea!" "It made me cry." "Once more, Jayshree!" "You're the female version of Sanjay Leela Bhansali." "The director of Devdas, Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam..." "Are you kidding?" "!" "You can't compare her to him." "Her story is nonsense." "You're neither an alcoholic..." "Nor are you having an affair nor do you have an illegitimate child." "I know that." "But what if they think it's true?" "And why would they think ifs true?" "Because we will make sure they believe it." "Praful, you're an idiot." "What did I tell you?" "You said we have to prove that Himanshu is a cheat." "And you said that I should find someone to act as Himanshu's lover." "You also said it's okay if she isn't a beauty but she should be a good actress." "Precisely!" "So, I got an actress." "Didn't you meet her?" "You want to meet her again?" "Kanchan ma'am..." "Kanchan ma'am!" "Here she is, Babuji." "I found her." "She's not a beauty and she is a great actress." "You mean, she will act as Himanshu's lover?" "Just watch her!" "Kanchanbala!" "Love scene!" " Himanshu..." " Okay." " The crimes of passion scene." "Watch." "Himanshu, you've broken my heart." "With whom do I share my beauty and youth, son?" "Son?" "Darling, even if you didn't think about me..." "You should've thought about our child!" " What a performance!" " You brought a tear to my eye." " Thank you!" "Want to see my dance moves?" "Yes, 'My hips don't lie'!" "Hips?" "Stop it!" "As you wish." "Have a seat." "Isn't she just like you wanted?" "Of course, just one problem." "I also said Himanshu's alleged lover should have a child." "She's brought her own son along for the role." "Uncle Bhanu!" " Hi mummy." " Bless you, son." "Hello uncle Bhanu, how are you?" "Babuji, that's Himanshu's child." "Papa!" "Why did you abandon me like the leftovers at a buffet?" "Papa, the kids at school ridicule me." "You don't have a father." "Accept me, papa." " Please accept me." " No!" "I want to be called your son." " Let me go!" "Nobody will ever know." "Accept me." "Amazing!" " Uncle Bhanu, sit down there." " Come on, back to your books." "Nobody will ever know!" "That final touch!" "Everyone will believe that he really is my son." "Hansa is very fortunate." "And it's my misfortune!" "Go and drop them off." "Taxi !" "Looks like you're waiting for a passenger." "Where do you want to go?" "Tardeo." "But I don't want to go there." " But they want to go there." " So?" "You could come back after you drop them off." " Bless you, son." " Thank you." "Tardeo..." "Tardeo." "Such respect for the elderly." "We're impressed." "Everybody!" " Even if we go looking with a lamp..." "We won't find a better match, for our darling daughter, than you." "Why did you have to help them?" "They would've been fine without your help." "You should always respect the elders..." "Where did you learn that?" "Come with me." "Comes!" "Just have a look at him." "Babuji, aren't we living with you for the past 10-12 years?" "Have we ever given you any respect?" "Did we ever seek your blessings?" "In fad, Babuji bows down before us..." "And says, "Praful and Hansa, let me live in peace." "Forgive me"." "Am I right?" "He is right." "Himanshu, if you continue to be well-behaved..." "How can you expect the Parminders' to oppose you?" "He would've dropped them off in our car." "But as usual, our car was out of order." "That's why he hailed a taxi." "Wasn't Babuji there to push the car?" "Why do you think we have him in this house?" "Now, I get it, Hansa." "These kids are a good influence on Himanshu." "Good qualities and manners." "How terrible!" "I know you can't pretend to fall into the gutter like a drunk, as well as Hansa can but..." "Stop right there!" "I have a world-best-idea." "Acting!" "Himanshu, come here." "Try and remember - when we gave the engagement gifts to the Parminders..." "What did Parminder say?" ""Thank you"?" "Why don't you say it, Jayshree?" "Film stars!" "I hate them!" " Got it?" " Yes." "What do you mean?" "It means, if Himanshu acts in a film..." "Then Parminder's family will definitely object to their marriage." "Himanshu, now you'll become a film star." " it's okay for you?" " Okay." "Very good, going for shot." "Jayshree, we've begged her to make this film but you think she will do it?" "Give me one reason why she wouldn't do it." " I'll give you three." " What?" "Praful is the script-writer and Himanshu is the hero." "Hansa is acting as his mother." "Oh Lord!" "The scene is that you are a poor, unemployed youth." "And you are cooking food in your broken-down house." "That's very easy!" "And Hansa, who is playing the role of your mother..." "Enters and says, "Praise Lord Ram"." " Praise Lord Ram." " And your dialogue is..." ""Mother, you're home, please have lunch." "I've made dal and baked roti. "" "Relapse." "I know everything." "Roll the camera." "Roll the cam era, like this?" "Don't worry about a thing, Farah." "I've rehearsed my lines three-four times." "But you need to say it just once." "Then what's the use?" "Oh God, why are you doing this to me?" "Come on, everyone." "Lets start, everyone ready?" " Everybody ready?" " Silence please." "Action." "Praise Lord Ram." "I'm so tired." "Mother, you're home, please have lunch." "I've baked millet bread and..." "This is wrong!" "Cut... cut!" " What's wrong?" " Here take a look." " What is it?" " This is red bean dal." "So?" "People have millet roti with black bean dal, not with red bean dal." "YOU are B poor man." "The poor manage with whatever they can afford." "From the start, let's keep black bean dal." "Nobody will ever know." "No, the dal won't change." "Use what you have, get it?" "But if this poor man has an upset stomach, don't blame me." "Taking." "Action." "Praise Lord Ram!" "Once again, I am tired!" "Mother, you're finally here." "Please have some lunch." "I have baked millet roti and..." "Made red bean dal." "Nobody will eat it." "I will have lunch, son." "But first..." "Take this 500 rupees." "It's my day's wages." "That's how she earned it!" "Mother, even at this age..." "Farah Khan!" "We have 500 rupees." "Now we can afford black beans." "Okay change it to black beans." " Action!" "Praise Lord Ram!" "I'm tired, for the third time." "So am I!" " Mother, you're back." " Please have lunch." "I've baked millet roti and made black bean dal." "I'll eat my dear, but first take this 500 rupees." "It's my day's wages." "Mother, even at this age you're working so hard." "Son, look there." "The roti is getting burnt." "Mother, if the roti burns..." "this is wrong, once again!" "Cut!" "What's wrong now?" " This is millet roti." " So?" "Millet roti doesn't burn this quickly." "Let's go back to red bean dal." "And, change the roti from millet to wheat." "Okay?" "Driver, start the car." "Himanshu, a regular guy helps to nab a dangerous criminal." "Couldn't you look before bumping into someone?" "Did you have to bump into a dangerous criminal?" "Exactly!" "Why didn't you run into a hippopotamus, like my Hansa?" "When did you run into a hippopotamus, Hansa?" "In Africa, Babuji." "I missed Praful and was running towards him..." "So?" "The Hippopotamus was running away from Praful..." "And we collided with each other." "We had a great time, didn't we?" "It's not funny Hansa." "The bones of the back and legs were fractured, don't you remember?" "Yes, Praful, but I heard that the hippopotamus started walking again now." "Don't get upset." "To the point!" "The point is..." "Himanshu is featured in the paper for nabbing a criminal." "Soon, he will be featured for committing a crime." "What do you mean?" "He will be caught red handed and thus his reputation will be tarnished." "Robbery?" "I like the idea." "But I don't know how to steal." " Himanshu!" "I'm there, I'll teach you." "The Gujrati Parminder has spoken!" "Do you know how to steal?" "Babuji..." "My heart, my sleep, my sanity, who do you think has stolen it?" " Praful is the great thief of hearts!" " Hansa!" "Bonnie and Clyde!" "We don't want Himanshu to steal someone's heart!" "That's why we will all accompany Himanshu for the robbery." "But where do we go and what do we steal?" "Mr. Grumbles, the robbery will be committed by you." "And as for where to steal..." " Himanshu!" "Brave, young man!" "Chakku, meet my future son-in-law." "And sir, he is my friend, Chakku Singh." "Here we are!" "This is Chakku Singh's bungalow." "We shall rob him." "Babuji, you will flee with the loot and we shall frame Himanshu." "Go inside and rob the jewelry box, the statue, a hair dryer..." "Refrigerator, sofa set..." "Hansa, won't Babuji tire himself running away with the refrigerator and sofa?" "He has the sofa set, if he gets tired..." "He could put it down and rest for awhile." "Have some cold water from the refrigerator and carry on. isn't that, right?" "That's a good idea." "You're another Hansa!" "Should I take the washing maching too?" "I could wash these clothes along the way" "Babuji, if you wash these clothes in the middle of the road..." "What will you wear at that time?" "Won't people say shame on you?" "I've opened the door." "Himanshu, touch everything and leave your fingerprints." "So they can accuse you." "Try to be silent." "I am so tired." "This table speaks!" " That is a piano, Hansa." " Really?" "Himanshu, quickly leave your fingerprints." "Even the piano!" "Himanshu not here, touch the things in the other rooms." "Praful, call the police." "The real ones." "Should I touch the things over here?" "Of course, there are so many things." "Touch everything!" "What is this?" "Looks like a letter, read it and leave your fingerprints on it too." "Nobody will ever know!" "Hansa, here you are!" "We need to make our getaway." "At least call for the taxi." "You want a taxi?" "You don't expect me to walk, do you?" "Why don't I just sit here." "There's no time to sit." "Praful has gone to bring the police." "Babuji, look over there." "Oh my God!" " Jayshree!" " What happened, Babuji?" "Oh Lord!" "Himanshu, is the body breathing?" "Yes, my body is fine." "First class!" "I meant his!" "What will happen now?" "!" "What else!" "Instead of robbery Himanshu will be accused of murder." "Life imprisonment." "That means 14 years of separation from Parminder and then our reunion?" "Of course." "That's like 'Veer-Zaara'." "What are you talking about?" "Robbery is fine, but not murder." "No way, Himanshu." "Himanshu, listen." "Babuji, call Praful and tell him not to bring the police along." "Himanshu, come let's figure out where to hide the corpse." "Babuji, call him... now!" "I'll call him, don't worry Hansa." "Hello, Praful?" "No, this is a Hansa, who are?" "The phone is with her and she didn't even tell me." "What will happen now?" "I have no idea." "Hello." "Are you a police inspector?" "A real one?" "This is a police station and I'm wearing the uniform..." "That means I am a real inspector." "Nope!" "Babuji, you're a natural at sweeping and swabbing." "That's true but what about him?" "Babuji!" "Go with her." " What?" " Come here." "We should get rid of this corpse." "But if the police arrive before that..." "Then we'll say we did it." "Jayshree." "Himanshu!" "Chakku Singh's knife..." "We know you didn't do it but..." "What if the police refuse to believe us?" "Himanshu, you go clean up the mess." "Babuji, we will tell the police that Himanshu is innocent." "Repeat after me, one, two, three..." "Himanshu is innocent, sir." "I stabbed Chakku with the knife." "Very good." "Oh Lord!" "We have to hide the body somewhere else." "Change come on, change!" "Change?" "But I didn't get a spare saree!" "What is?" "Change the place of the body!" "I'll kill you!" "Babuji, we're having a hard time with one corpse and you're talking about another one!" "And you said that about Hansa!" "Come on, the bathroom is that way." "Let's take the body there." "Make it quick." "He has been here for so long, perhaps he needs to use the bathroom." "Shut up, Hansa!" "Himanshu, put the knife back, the way it was." "Babuji, come along, we will" "You remember what to tell the police, don't you?" "Jayshree..." "I'm here with the real inspector." "I brought him here.l" "For once, he does something right!" "Inspector, my brother-in-law, Himanshu." "Knife?" "What is happening here?" "Babuji, lets say this together." "One, two, three..." " Inspector, Himanshu is innocent." "I stabbed Chakku with the knife!" "Himanshu, hands up." "That he is!" "His heart is beating... he is alive." "There is a heavy blood loss." "We need at least ten units of blood." "Doctor you can have all my blood." "In fact, there's more at home." "At home?" "You keep your blood at home?" "I mean, my son." "After all, he is my blood!" " Doctor, please save Chakku." " Save him!" " Himanshu!" "That's Hansa's voice." "Where are you?" "That means she is here as well." "Look, whom I brought along!" "Hold on!" "What is the meaning of this?" "Who are these people?" "Inspector, they are from the news channels." "This is Knot Really news." "This Freshly Made Up news, and this is Repeats and More' news." "And Inspector, please..." "this is Hansa." "My Hansa." "Inspector, over here." "Make way!" "Take a look." "We have drum s, trumpets, everything." "I..." "I brought them, Inspector." "But, why?" "!" "Himanshu!" "Where are you hiding?" "What is happening here?" "And who is here now?" "Traitor!" "Murderer!" "You tried to kill my friend." "He did, he did - not me!" "I hope now you object to me marrying Parminder." "Object?" "My friend Chakku is fighting for his life!" "Everybody!" "We will die but never get Parminder married to you!" "He said it!" "Start playing!" "Let's go." "These people are all mad!" "Stop it." "Madam ,just one photo, please" "You go over there." "They are taking pictures." "Pose." "Himanshu, look." "They are all fighting for your photo!" "Now your love story is a legend and famous too." " Himanshu." " Parminder." "You know, in reality I can't think too much..." "it hurts my brain." "But the fact that you would try to kill someone..." "I couldn't have imagined even in my dreams!" "But Parminder" "My dear sister" "Brother!" "Parminder!" "You made my sister cry?" "You were expecting to marry her next week, weren't you?" "Now, she will marry Parminder from our community." "Babuji..." "Babuji has already been released on bail." "That Tiwari got pickle with his dinner." "Why' didn't I get it?" "Because I'm Gujrati?" "I hope you are released on bail too." "So you can see my sister marrying Parminder." "Babuji..." "Come to Chandigarh." "On the morning of the 25th!" "Here's the invite." "I want a rental car with a big boot outside the High court on the 24th of this month." "Isn't the case hearing on the 24th as well?" "Exactly, that is why we need a car." "We shall prove that Himanshu is innocent and leave for Chandigarh to stop the wedding." "Okay." "Now think who will represent Himanshu." "Place you hand on the Gita and say..." "I swear to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth." "You will tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth." "Done." "But..." "You are supposed to say that." "Of course, I just said it." "Your Honour..." "Order" "Your Honour, the accused in the witness box..." "May be acting like a fool, but he is a cold blooded killer." "He tried to kill Chakku Singh Ahluwalia with a knife..." "And I shall prove this." "The first witness, Praful Parekh." "That's me, your Honour." "Yes we know." "Mr. Parekh, I want you to answer my questions truthfully." "Are you a lawyer?" "Here we go!" "I'm here in the court, wearing a black cloak." "That means I'm a lawyer, isn't it?" "Not really." "You could also be a magician." "And that's why you are wearing a cloak." "Like the magician K. Lal." "K. Lal, the magician, wears a red cloak." "And I'm wearing a black one." "Probably because you practice black magic!" "Order be serious, please!" "Your name?" "Praful." "And you are?" "Pandit, Advocate Pandit." "Pandit?" "As in the Pandit community from Uttar Pradesh?" "No, my family is from the state of Karnataka." "Oh, Ludhiana!" "I said, my family hails from Karnataka." "And Ludhiana isn't situated in Karnataka." "Then where is it?" "In Punjab!" "But you just said that your family is from Karnataka." " Yes, my family is from Karnataka." " Then why did you say Punjab?" "Ludhiana!" "Ludhiana is in Punjab." "Oh, so your family isn't in Ludhiana?" "How can they be?" "Since Ludhiana isn't situated in Karnataka, my family can't be there." "Can't be where?" "In Karnataka?" "In Ludhiana, in Punjab!" " Who?" " My family!" "My family!" "What's wrong with your family?" "Mr. Praful, his family is fine in Punjab." " In Karnataka!" " Okay" "Where?" "Gangtok?" "Silence!" " Okay..." "Yes, in Gangtok." "Now, we will talk about your family." "And you have to tell the truth." "Kindly tell the court..." "How is Himanshu related to you?" "He is my brother-in-law." " My Hansa's brother." " Okay." " He is a caterer." " Okay." "He is a good cook." " And he is very good at cutting vegetables." " Okay." " Potatoes..." " Brinjal..." " Cauliflower" "Alright, potatoes, cauliflower, green peas" "No, not green peas." "Those he peels." "He cuts the cauliflower, very finely." " My Lord, this man..." " Sit down..." "Praful turned the opposition lawyer pale." "Praful was merely the initial attack." "Now, it's time to let loose the heavy artillery" "Hello, how are?" "Eat something before you leave." "Can you believe that aunt Hansa is actually Hansa Parekh BA, LLB?" "!" "Although, the fact is that the principal of her college was her father." "The professor of the college was mummy's uncle..." "And it was aunt Jayshree that appeared for mummy's exams!" "First of all tell the court your name." "Himanshu." "Is this your complete name?" "Yes, it's completely my name." "It completely belongs to Himanshu." "Please note down this..." "Note it down?" "Kindly tell us, on the day you went to Chakku Singh's house..." "What did you see?" "Well, I saw 'Bidaai' on Star Plus in the morning..." "And an Amitabh Bachchan film in the evening, 'Andhaa Kanoon'." "Yeah..." "We saw it together, isn't it?" "That's not what she meant, nutcase!" "What did you see at Chakku Singh's house?" "We didn't see anything since we didn't switch on the TV." "When we go to someone's house, we shouldn't switch on the TV ourselves." "Our kids have taught us this." "Order... please!" "We're doomed!" "Praful, what does order mean?" "Order means" "Your Honour, allow me." "Remember we went on the set of the horror film?" "The director was telling the actress to act scared." "He said there is a ghost in front of you..." "'Aur darr." "Aur darr." "Be afraid, be afraid. '" "Oh yes, aur darr... be afraid." "Listen, you two." "Better stop flirting around in the court or else" "Objection!" "You idiot, he's the judge!" "You can't object to what I say!" "And Praful, you are so scared when the doctor gives you an objection." "Hansa, what the doctor jabs him with isn't called an objection." "Exactly, it's called a table!" "Your doctor hits you with a table?" " Sometimes even a chair." " Chair?" "And if I don't leave, he sometimes even throws a patient at me." " Is it so?" "Don't you remember the other day Praful was hit by that Marwari boy?" "Mrs. Hansa, be quiet and proceed with the case!" "Okay!" "Six words?" "Why is she suddenly playing dumb?" "My?" "Head?" "A zip on my head?" " He's got a zip on his head?" " Be quiet." "Hansa, why are you explaining things to him in sign language?" "You asked me to be quiet and proceed with the case!" "Oh my God!" "You crib whether I speak or remain silent." "Fine, you may speak!" "Now he tells me to speak." "So, Himanshu, when Praful and the Inspector came over to Chakku Singh's house..." "What did they see in the room?" "They saw me with a knife in my hand." "And a big wound in Chaku Singh's stomach." "Oh, a wound, then what?" "Then the Inspector complimented Himanshu, coroner!" "When did I compliment him?" "Didn't you say Himanshu handsome, handsome'?" "Look the merry go round is starting again." "Hansa is confusing hands up with handsome!" "Shut up!" "Oh please!" "Shut up is the English word for pulling your shirt up!" "Easy easy..." "Okay." "Okay, hands up means a good looking man!" "Now you got it!" "The inspector complimented Himanshu." "Let's say he did, but what does this prove?" "It proves that Himanshu didn't slab Chakku Singh!" "How is that?" "If Himanshu had stabbed Chakku Singh with the knife, would the inspector compliment Himanshu?" "Tell me." "Answer me, your Honour!" "Tell me." " We won, we won!" "Great, my darling!" "You are amazing." "Wow!" "You are like a female Sunny Deol from 'Damini'." " There, I have proved it." " Yes, of course!" " Okay, Himanshu, left's go!" " Let's go." "We've won!" "What do you mean, let's go?" "Enough!" "Your Honour, stop them!" "Easy easy..." "He tried to kill Chakku Singh to usurp his property" "He had a knife in one hand and near him a man bleeding to death." "What now?" "Stop talking nonsense, you black and white!" "Coroner, Himanshu could never usurp his wealth, even if he wanted to." "Because he said..." ""After my death, my wealth is to be given to charity." "This is my last 'dish'."" "it's here in his suicide note." "Holy cow!" "He tried to commit suicide?" "Yes !" "Suicide!" "Himanshu, show the note to the Judge." "Hey Judge look at this." " Here, have a look." " Give it here..." "Is he giving it or not?" "!" ""I'm stabbing myself with this knife." "After my death give my wealth to charity." "This is my last 'dish'."" "Signed Chakku Singh." "Himanshu it is wish not dish!" "It says dish over here." "Do do D for burger!" "It's B for burger." "But I'm talking about a cheese burger." "Well, then that would be a C. How can it be D?" "What if I want a Double Cheese Burger!" "If you had the suicide note, why didn't you mention it?" "If we did, Himanshu and Parminder would never be separated." "Exactly!" "You both deserve to be in the museum!" "Mummy saree!" "Later on!" "We need to reach Chandigarh before seven tomorrow morning." "Yes, hurry up!" "Hold on!" "Do you know the way to Chandigarh?" "I know the way." "I went there six months ago to bring flowers for Hansa." "Go straight on the highway." "At the main signal at Jaipur, you'll see a black dog with its tongue out" "Take a left from there." "Praful, you idiot." "You went there six months ago." "You think the black dog is still there at Jaipur's main signal with its tongue out?" "What if it ran away from there?" "What if it did?" "The main signal will still be there." "We need to take a left at the signal, doesn't matter where the dog is." " And he calls you an idiot!" " Let's go now." "Okay let's move it." "Quick." "Let's go." "Father, this car works." "Okay, fine, let's drive!" "Praful, I'm dressed up." "Okay, now sit in." "Let's get there quickly." "Now" " Parminder - will - marry" " Himanshu - cancel- Parminder" "My dear, your wedding procession has arrived." "Garland Parminder before you go to the temple." "Repeats and More news channel brings you this breaking news..." "There's an unusual twist in Himanshu and Parminder's love story" "Mummy, wait mum my, look at this." "Parminder and Parminder, what are you doing here?" "The procession has arrived." "Look, Himanshu uncle on the TV." "Himanshu Uncle?" "Himanshu has been acquitted." "Now over to Kanishka." "Himanshu has been acquitted." "Now over to Kanishka." "Chakku Singh Ahluwalia is also over here." "And he has regained consciousness..." "Over to Mr. Ahluwalia." "Tell us what happened that day?" "I tried to kill myself." "I survived by God's grace." " I'll try again tomorrow." " Oh no!" " Here are the tall trees." "Get out everyone." "Hurry up!" "I'm so tired..." "Praful, come fast..." "Look!" "Parminder is getting married." "Parminder!" "Parminder, I'm here." "Don't marry him." " Parminder!" " Parminder's father..." "Oh dear, wait!" "Stop!" "We made a huge mistake." "Parminder, listen to me!" "Parminder!" "Parminder!" "Himanshu!" " Stop!" " No Parminder!" "You shouldn't even look at him!" "Himanshu is not guilty!" " Himanshu was proven innocent and he's come here himself, idiot!" "I don't want to hear a 1:hing!" "Go away from here." "Otherwise my gun will speak!" "He is a killer!" "No, Chakku tried to commit suicide." "Himanshu didn't try to kill him." "Parminder don't put the garland on Parminder!" "Himanshu" "Parminder" "Himanshu!" "What are you looking for in the grass?" "He fell down." "Help him up." "Are you alright?" "Parminder, don't put the garland on Parminder!" "She can't put the garland anyway!" "What?" "My son didn't make it for the wedding." "Look there!" "What's this?" "There is no groom on the horse." "He didn't get leave from his office." "But you still came here with the fanfare?" "If you don't go to the bride's house with this fanfare, it's a shame for the bride's family." "You have a point." "Yes, and now we saw it on the TV." "Himanshu is innocent." "Brother..." "Parminder, please." "Darling, Himanshu is calling you." "No one can love you like this." "Himanshu" "Please forgive me." "Everybody!" " Even if we go looking with a lamp..." "We won't find a better match, for our darling daughter, than you." " Parminder!" "Himanshu" "Parminder, I wanted my love story to be great." "But I forget what my grandma used to say." "She would say..." "Every love story is great, where there is true love.'" "Himanshu..." "Will you marry me and..." "Share your grandma's wisdom with me all my life?" "But, my grandma is no longer alive..." "Sol don't know about her wisdom." "But I want to share my life and wisdom only with you, because..." "I love you, Parminder." "Same to you Himanshu!" "Here brave young man!" "Here my dear." "Come Himanshu, time to do it." "There, I did it." "Beautiful, Himanshu, great!" "Darn you, Hansa-with-a-moustache!" "What happened?" "To do it doesn't mean to throw it away!" "Silence!" "Look at Babuji." "He's insulting me in front of these people!" "Himanshu, just shoot Babuji!" "With pleasure!" "Female Rajkumar Hirani!" "Superb!" "That was a superb story!" "Do you know how to ring a bell?" "We just want the girl." "We get the girl, you get a wedding!" "What's wrong, doctor?" " Chicken pox." " Is it tandoori or butler chicken?" "Parminder, it's chicken tikka pox!" "Jaysh ree!" "Rolling..." "Very good." "Going for shot!" "Next!" "Bye Babuji, bye..." " What's he buying?" " He is saying bye, he's going!" "Parminder!" "Hansa!" "What do you mean, hmm?" "In such a situation... sorry!" "Sorry!" "Of course, it's C." " C for sandwich." " it's S for sandwich." "I meant cheese sandwich." "Holy cow!" " I'm Wilson." " I'm Babuji's son!" "Nobody will ever know." "Last month his wife, Chanda, passed away." "Passed what?" "Did she pass a test or did she pass through something?" "You made me cry!"