"A film by" "With" "As" "Camera" "Sound" "Editing" "Decor" "Costumes" "Assistant director" "Producer" "Script and direction" "Alex!" "Do you remember your father?" "No." "Do you remember your mother?" "No." "At the end of a childhood" "I'm 22 years old." "I'm a single child." "I'll tell a story from a long time ago, when I wasn't even 10." "It was in the beginning of the 70s." "72 and 73." "When everything was different." "But you know that already." "That is me at that time." "I'm more attached to life than others my age." "Because the thread between life and death is very thin." "Love, like hate, can kill." "But one has to go on, laugh even when you rather cry out of fear." "Nowadays I seldom cry ." "That is Pedro, my father." "And there's my mother." "That doesn't suit you." "My mother." "Stay with your godmother." "We went to Lisbon to say goodbye to my father once more." "Well, Alex?" "Today I'll fulfill every wish." "Order." "Whatever you like." "I want to go." "What?" "Bye, Manuela." "Bye." "Mom, the hat." "How stupid." "The journey into the war took 20 days." " What's wrong?" " My key is missing." "It won't happen again." "That's Barbara." "She's from our village." "One day she disappeared to Lisbon - secretive." "After she came back, she told nobody why." "Since then she's helping mom in the bar." "I like Barbara a lot." "From my dad." "A letter for me and one for my mom." ""Dear Alex, believe me, it's beautiful here, very different from over there." "When you grow up... you may come over here and tell me... whether I'm right or not." "One of my friends made a bet, to teach a monkey how to talk." "If he succeeds..." "I'll write you about it." "I've been transferred again, tell your mom." "I'm not in Beira anymore, but close to Tete." "Don't annoy your mother in the future." "Because she's a good friend for you." "She should have fun and not be pining and weeping." "I will get back in one piece." "Your mother told me you grew up." "Be careful you won't get too tall, or I won't recognize you when I get back." "A big handshake from Pedro, your father." "My mother took me to school and went to the market." "Because she had the time wrong, I was there too early." "I hid my good cloths and went to the merry-go-round." "Give this to the kid." "Here, take it." "One night they had recognized me." ""Dear dad, I'm now 9 years old... and now I can drive the bumper-cars on my own." "I almost smacked my teeth." "Please write more stories from Africa."" "In the homeland the fields are full of seeds, the meadows green, the forests give shade, the grape vines heavy with... golden grapes." "White chapels on the mountains." "Pedro Miguel!" "Our homeland be blessed across all seas, where we say in our beautiful language, in the shade of our flag, the beloved word:" "Mother!" " Alexander." "Alexander!" " I forgot." " You forgot?" "Or haven't you learned?" "Read!" "...then you'd come to beat up the old woman." "Alex." "Let's see what's so important in this boy's head." "I'm now 9 years old and now I can drive the bumper-cars on my own." "I almost smacked my teeth." "Please write more stories from Africa." "...then you'd come to beat up..." "Alexander!" "Your hand!" "Now who is "the old woman"?" "You, teacher." " You should behave yourself." " I know." "I dreamt that the teacher strangled me... the harder she pushed, the redder I got." "Then I was on a boat." "That's it." "We went in my relatives' car." "No, they didn't even have a car." "Whatever." "Important is my birthday." "My aunt." "My gramps Vasco." "My granny." "My uncle Luis." " Does he write you often?" " As often as he can, poor guy." "One day he'll knock at the door." "Time's running quicker than you'd think." "I never ever liked her." "I was hoping they wouldn't send for him." "You get used to waiting, don't you?" "They didn't send for me." ""Dear son, so that the letter arrives on your birthday," "I had to send it some weeks before." "Write me if it arrived right in time." "If I weren't homesick I would be fine." "I'll get back one day and we'll never part again." "Your mother will throw you a wonderful party." "If she's there, give her a hug from me." "And I'm embracing you all the time, until you get the letter." "Usually my mom and me would exchange letters." "I would read her my letter and she'd read me hers." "I knew she was withholding sentences." "One time I found out a passage, that she had hidden from me." "One is living there, without each other, without warmth, without hope." "Everything is messed up, empty." "An exile in the best years of my life, in the best years of us all." "If I die here, you can be sure that... it was no heroism - there was just no other way." "That's him." "That clown will marry me on the spot." "I remember exactly when I saw Barbara the first time." "I did attend the agricultural school... and Barbara passed me on the road." "You couldn't miss her, everyone was looking." "I took a tranquilizer to be able to talk to her." "She doesn't remember that." "When I was finally her friend, I left school, quit my job, so I could see her all the time." "She changed my life." "I'm so happy with this dinner!" "I never talked this much." "In the summer my mother sent me to the sea." "We hadn't heard from my dad for 6 months." "Where could he be?" " Hello." " Hello." " Want to race?" " No." " Come on, with the 3 of us." " I don't feel like it." "Wait for me!" "1, 2, 3." "I don't know if my dad ever hurt his head." "I wrote to ask him about it." "Safe trip, say hello to your mother." "Bye." "My mother wrote if I remembered one Mario." "He came back from Africa and there was a party at the bar." "I couldn't remember any Mario." "Maybe it was a lie." "Probably my mother wanted to surprise me." "It's my father." "My father." "My father." "I don't know anything about him." "Don't tell my father that I'm here." "You will regret it." "My godmother bought me winter cloths in Lisbon." "It was the first year my mother didn't come along." "I secretly saw Lisbon at night." "Wake up, asshole!" "So here you are." "You're not supposed to be here." "My father beat me up because of you, idiot." "Where have you been hanging out?" "You should be tied up!" "When you run off again, I'll kill you!" "I've had enough." "Enough!" "Hey, kid!" "My God!" "Well...?" "I had to go home right away." "Mario came for a visit." "I wanted to know how you're doing." "I thought you were up North." "Just for 2 days." "You want to eat something?" "What are you eating?" "A ham sandwich." "The same for me and a beer." "You know that letters sometimes get lost." "Over there, they can't always write." "I can't stand not hearing from him for 5 months." "Not even when he was with his parents in France." "I was there and I know how hard it is to write." "You have no family either." "I did write often but no one particular." "One can endure less than you'd think." "No, a lot more." "Mother." "Mother." "Mother." "Barbara's knocking at the door." "Barbara?" "Open up." "I'll be right down." "There's no power, we're in the dark." "You'll catch you death." "Say goodnight and go to bed." "Goodnight." "What's wrong?" "It's terrible." "What is it?" "I'm in love with a guy." "So you cry when you're love?" "This time it's really killing me." "I'm cold." "I'll make you something hot." "I'm afraid to meet him on the way home." "He's married." "I should be happy whenever he has time." "But I just can't love at command." "How do you know him?" "From the rehearsal for the festival." "I'm so embarrassed." "My sister doesn't know." " Now what?" " I'm avoiding him." " Avoiding him?" " Let me stay here." " Is he looking for you?" " I don't know." "See you tomorrow, Barbara." "From then on, Barbara became my best friend." " Is that Mario?" " Yes." "I might catch up with him." "A telegram." ""Coming back, be there in 2 weeks." "Don't tell anyone." "Wish me luck." "Pedro."" "The day of coming back." " Do I smell?" " No, no." "Let's go to your place." "To me, death was still a stranger." "Her brother returned from the war dead." "Hello, Silvana." " Happy New Year." " Happy New Year." "Cheers." "If I were king, this wouldn't have passed." "My daughter almost dead of sorrow." "My son in chains." "Expelled to an island, my hands are tied." "A light will be my savior." "Don't believe these lies." "The world is filled with them." "Quiet, lest my sword might talk!" "I will kill the king and free my son." "Thou art the king." "Thou art the king." "Thou art the king." "Thou art the king." "Three candies please." "You have some paper?" "This is for Alex." " Did you shoot in the war?" " What?" " Did you shoot in the war?" " No." "I think I would be scared." "When you go there, you'll be grown-up already." "You won't be scared anymore then." "The others are scared too." " Which others?" " The ones that live there." "One girl's brother came back dead." "But she still came to school." "Teacher said she was real brave." "It would be braver to not go to school anymore." "Mario, is my father dead?" "No." "Do you swear?" "I swear." "I know what my mother was up to." "Stop looking at me." "Go home, Manuela." "I'll be right there." "Just go ahead." "When will the radio be ready?" "Tomorrow afternoon." "I need it in the morning." "In the morning?" "Okay." "See you later, Pedro." "That night Mario visited us." "I was alone." "My mother came later and was soaked." "She rushed in and said she wanted to get changed." "It's still raining." " Heavily?" " No." "Just a bit." " You go to bed now?" " But I don't want to." " Go anyway." " Okay." " Do you need another blanket?" " Not necessary." "I finally got a letter from Pedro." ""I never thought I'd see the day." "There's no reason to come back alive." "I tore up the photos of my wife and son." "I only kept the wedding photo of my parents." "I just want to die." "I forgot Manuela's face." "The rainy season has started." "You sink in the swamp up to your knees." "My hands are full of ink." "I don't know if anyone can read this." "I could shoot myself, but I want someone else to do that." "I want to be dead and buried." "Going back is getting more and more unlikely." "As if these are lies they are telling us." "As if we were born here and have been nowhere else." "I'm ashamed to have a son and not a daughter." "I have no idea what's happening here." "Be glad you haven't seen it." "Two lives wouldn't be enough to forget it all."" "And the letter continued:" ""Do you know what I'm talking about?" "I was there." "What should I do now, Mario?" "I didn't just watch, I participated." "You wouldn't have done it, I know." "Nobody is talking about it anymore." "Before, I'd almost shot someone of our own." "Now my courage fails me even for that." "This confession is given by a good friend," "One day I will embrace you once again, Pedro."" " Were you stationed together?" " No." "Why did you show me this?" "Because you haven't heard from him for a long time." "I didn't know what is best for you." "When will he get back?" "What has happened there?" "No idea." "It's far away from here." "Another world:" "Africa." "He's just saying this because he's there." "And he writes me because I was there too." "People come back and forget about it all." "I know this, because I came back." "It's too distant to think about it." "Believe me, Manuela." "You can go sleep." "Now go, Mario." "Take this with you." "After all, he didn't write me." "Pedro is back already." "He's here." "Already since a few months." "He was with me." "But now he's gone." "He's fine." "At least he's here and he's fine." "Leave me alone, Mario." "Don't be sad." "Go, Mario." "So where is he?" "I don't know." "My mother said she would never go look for him." "He could come, but she wouldn't go get him." "She hasn't adhered to this." " Let's go." "Where is he?" " At my place." "Sorry." " I go first." " Mario." "Let me go." "Good evening." "Good evening." "Hello Pedro." "Pedro!" "Pedro!" "How did you know?" "From Mario." "He said you're alive." "You would have known if I had died." "I know since yesterday." "And here I am." "I didn't know whether I should come." "And Alex?" "He believes he lost his dad." "I've told him nothing for a long time and he doesn't ask." " Did you tell him?" " No." "I didn't know how." "I had to see you first." "You didn't learn how to drive in the army?" "I don't want to know, why you didn't come here." "Are you crying?" "No." "I'm laughing." "Dad." "We're doing pretty good." "Sometimes more, sometimes less customers." "Up till now, things went well." "People have gotten used to the cafe." "But there's nothing else." "Yes." "But people stayed loyal to us." "Before, we went ourselves." "You want to take a look?" "Rather when it's open." "Or you can't see what has changed." "You could see the new things." "It's not much, but still." "Never mind." "Another day tomorrow." "Long time no see." "Alex." "It's late." "Go to bed." "I just wanted to see if everything is okay." "Were you worried?" "Yes, after all you're my friends." "True." "But now I'm here and everything is fine." "Aren't you cold?" "I'll be right in." " It's already late, son." " I'm going." " Right away?" " Okay." " Are you scared of me?" " No." " With me, you can do what you want." " All right." "You want a smoke?" "Don't be ashamed to smoke in front of me." "What you're ashamed for now, is irrelevant tomorrow." "That's not a matter of time but of frequency." "Now you're embarrassed in front of me for something, tomorrow not even for 5 guys." "And then not even 10." "Then you're not even counting, why should you?" "That's how everything starts." "Don't act dumb." "There's always something else for many reasons, but think about it sometime, okay?" " Cold?" "You want my coat?" " No." "Let's see if you're cold." "No, you're fine." "Come, mother is all alone." " Man, have you grown!" " Come on." "Enter." "Look what this dress does to my hair." "All charged up." "You keep standing there?" "Don't." "It makes me tired." "But I am tired." "I'll sit down." " You're still the same." " And you?" "I don't know." "What do you think?" "You gained weight and your face has changed." "Recently Alex described you to a friend, and he didn't notice me." "But you're different from his description." "He wasn't surprised to see you, was he?" "I don't think so." "Children adjust faster than you think." "I got scared when I heard you were there... and didn't want to see me." "I thought I would never see you." "It was worse than when you left for Africa." "I had to come and see you." "It was the only thing I could do." "Now say something." "I wasn't..." "I didn't come because I didn't want to." "Did you come to say goodbye?" "I was near." "I didn't leave." "Will you hold my hand?" "We should have started differently." "Did your father get back?" "Yes." " Are you happy?" " Yes." " Will you have a party?" " No." "Tell me, how was it?" "They didn't want me." "How was it?" "Would you go back?" " I don't want to go back." " But do you have to?" "No." "One time everyone can bear." "They have new planes." "I never killed anyone, but I'd like to." "I only shot birds." "And we're not in Africa." "Blacks everywhere, you just have to point your gun." "And bastards everywhere, bastard kids." "No wonder." "No white man who didn't make 5 or 6." "Well, not everyone is the same." "I'm not saying that he was one of those." "Now shut up." "Sit down." "Now let me talk with him." "After all this is about our involvement there." "What will be next?" "Will we do them all in or they us?" " You're a pain." " Leave me alone." "Listen, there's a big difference between us:" "You talk to me but I not to you." "My father had injured his hand." "But my mother wouldn't look after him." "Instead, Barbara did." "One time we went in, there were two." "One didn't want, I stayed with her." "I was very careful." "She didn't have the courage to cry." "Because she couldn't cry, she hit me." "And the guy, who was with me, laughed." "Still I was happy that someone laughed." "Then someone woke up, we thought an old guy, but it was a boy." "Then she got very quiet." "She stopped hitting me." "It got light." "The other guy said we should leave." "We had to take the boy, it was for the best." "We went on and the other started laughing... because as it turned out, the boy was a girl." "Their house was far away." "I heard he kept laughing." "At first I didn't understand." "He kept calling me and then I went over." "At daybreak there was nothing I could do." "The worst day of my life." "Let me." "Closed" " What do you want?" " Is Pedro there?" "Where is he?" "Can you open the door?" "Were you already in bed?" "Not yet." "But my son is sleeping." " Can you get Pedro?" " He's not at home." " Doesn't he live here?" " He does." " When is he coming?" " Where is he?" "We're his friends and we need to talk with him." "He's in Castelo Bronco." "Tell me, I'll give him your message." " What should we tell her?" " Everything." "You have coffee?" "Even if, you wouldn't get any." "I told you my husband isn't home." "I don't know what else I can do for you." "Please come back another day." "You do sleep quite a lot." "I have to." "What do you want?" "Just come outside." " Wait for me outside." " Hurry up." "I'll be right back." "Good night." "Every night at 1, our favorite program:" ""At the strike of 13"." "Come tomorrow." " What are you doing here?" " Sorry, I'm so stupid." "Who was it?" "What about you?" "Why are you here?" "Getting some fresh air." " You're here often?" " Sometimes." "I mean..." "If you want, it won't happen again." "Only now I see why people come here... when the chairs are up." "Sometimes I dream I finish a whole bottle." "I never had the courage." "You want to see?" "Hold it." "Did you know I come here at night?" "No." "Eyes closed and continue." "I don't care what happens." "Even better if it ends bad." "But quick!" "What are you talking, Barbara?" "I'm not so sure myself." " You're not drinking?" " I will." "Bottoms up." "Do you hear those sounds?" "Sounds?" "..." "No." "You must love him a lot?" "I never loved anyone else." "Such a silly girl." "Some guys came over and Pedro took off with them." " Have you ever dreamt about me?" " No." " I did recently." "Can't tell you though." " Don't be dramatic." "In the dream I lost the key and you slapped me." " What did you do?" " Now for the worst part:" "I pushed you on the ground." "No idea why I dreamt that." "Where were you?" "And you?" "Out for a walk." "Me too." "Why are you still here?" "I've been waiting for you." "Were you at Mario's?" "I wanted to go after you, but I didn't." "Why are your eyes closed?" "Tired?" "Look at me." "I've always behaved when you were gone." "But since you returned and everything is changing...!" "Why are we this late?" "Because I didn't know when it would start." "Hello." "Where is Pedro?" "He didn't want to come." " You want to eat something?" " Yes." "Barbara!" " Did you sing?" " Yes, but not well." "You have the prettiest voice in Portugal." " And your mother?" " She's over there." "Where?" "I can't see her either." "I can't do it." " Now it's just us." " Good." "I'll be right back." "Ask Barbara to come." " Where is Mario?" " I don't know." "I'll be right back." "All of a sudden you were gone." "When someone disappears you should place an add." "There's no talking to you." "I showed you how much I need you." "You know very well, Barbara." "I never want to see you again." "But I don't want to hurt you." "Barbara!" " Can you tell?" " No, just a bit." " Better now?" " Yes." "I wanted to go home with my mother, but she had gone." "Barbara was crying again, I probably annoyed her." "Then I ran off." "Mario drove me home as usual." "Father was nowhere to be found." "We kept looking." " And?" " Your father isn't here." "We'll take a look up there, then I bring you home." "How will this finish, Mario?" "It will end alright." "You say "to end", Alex." "But there are things that will never end." "Yes, I know." "Yes, I know." "Good things as well as bad." "Do you like it?" "Yes." "When we got home, my mother had dyed her hair." "And you, Mario?" "Very nice." "He will be here soon." "One... two... three..." "You have 5 fingers like everybody." "Don't worry, I'll wait for him." "Goodbye, Manuela." "Don't you want to go to bed?" "We haven't eaten." "Okay but nothing too fancy, alright?" "You're like a clam." "You'll always be." " Also when I grow old?" " Then even more so." "Did you sleep here?" "No." "Don't you lie down?" "No." "Aren't you feeling well?" "No." "Why?" "Don't get to near." " What's wrong, Manuela?" " Don't touch me!" "I just want you to stay home." "I don't even want to know what you did." "Or do you think I want to know?" "If you're here because you killed too many... or too few, I don't care." "We should have left then." "Nobody would have missed you." "I'm the only one in the world who loves you." "I don't love you." "Don't follow me around!" "Don't follow me around!" "Save my dad." "Was it you?" "It's not bad, is it?" "I don't think so." "Can you see me?" "I don't know." "Didn't you hear me?" "That was you?" " And the bar?" " It's closed." "Mario is in hospital." "Why?" "You don't have a phone." "I wanted to tell you." "I must see him." "Are you coming, Pedro?" "Let me come." " You stay with Alex, Barbara?" " Yes." " Will Mario die?" " No, he'll be alright." "Hospital of Mercy" " What do you want?" " Let me see the injured." "I'll be right back." "Mario." "Who let you in?" "We are his relatives." "How are you, Mario?" "So so." "Probably next week I'll get out." "Is it you?" " Is it you?" " Yes, me." "Me and Pedro want to see you." "Anything you need, Mario?" "Just lay down." "Why is it so dark here?" "There's a reason for that." "Pedro?" "Pedro is here." "You overexert him." "Pedro, say something." "Hello, Mario." "It was Pedro." "What did you say?" "You have to be careful." "It was Pedro." "This is going too far." "Tell your wife to leave him alone." "Let's go." "You will get well." "Don't worry." "Do you want a coffee?" "Hello." "Two coffee, please." "You want to dance?" "Alex." "Subtitles by Subransu"