"(barking orders)" "(water running)" "Fender, what's with the makeup?" "(water stops)" "You're gonna be under a truck all day." "You'd be surprised who you can meet under a truck." "Ah, let's go, let's go." "I wonder if the Army'd let me grow a beard." "Let you?" "I wonder why they don't make you." "# I dream of Jeanie... #" "Here comes Bing." "# With the light brown hair #" "# Just like azal... #" "What are you, a wise guy or something?" "!" "(yawning loudly)" "They just got to do something about these hours." "Waking me up 5:30 in the morning." "What do they think I am, a rooster?" "It's an Army rule, fellas." "We have to obey, so let's do it cheerfully." "Army rules, Doberman?" "Show me the Army rule that says we got to get up 5:30 in the morning." "But we always get up at 5:30." "Sure, 'cause we're creatures of habit." "Wouldn't you still like to be in the sack?" "Yeah, but, uh..." "But what?" "'Cause when the Army started and George Washington had his men get up at 5:30, you, Doberman, 200 years later, are still doing it." "Yeah, but Mullen, George Washington's men had a lot of things to do." "They all had to get up, make their own fires, you know." "We got heat in the barracks." "Yeah, but they had to feed the horses." "But we don't have any horses." "What about food?" "They had to get up and hunt for it, didn't they?" "What's there to hunt?" "We eat in the mess hall!" "Doberman's right!" "(clamoring)" "What chumps we are, getting up 5:30." "Not me!" "Well, then let's go back to bed!" "(affirmative shouts)" "(man shouts in distance)" "What's going on here?" "Fun in the latrine again?" "You guys still making a patsy out of poor little Doberman, huh?" "Why don't you stand up for your rights?" "Why do you let these guys make a patsy out of you all the time?" "You got rights here, Doberman!" "You're standing in front of the washbowl and I'm ready?" "What are you doing?" "Oh, I'm sorry!" "(speaking indistinctly) ...the bigger a man you'll be." "These guys'll take advantage of you all day long." "You're as big as any m..." "Towel, get the towel!" "(snaps fingers) Faucets, faucets." "(water running)" "When Abraham Lincoln said" ""All men are created equal,"" "he didn't mean every man except Doberman." "He meant you, too." "Stand up." "Be a brave man." "Be brave within yourself." "These guys'll take advantage of you all day long." "Speak up to them!" "Don't let them take advantage of you." "How's the water?" "How's the water?" "Just be brave in your thoughts." "The ego that you maintain..." "It's too hot, Doberman!" "I can't help you if you won't help yourself." "Think big, and you'll be big." "(water stops)" "It's all right." "Now, Doberman, I can't help you if you won't help yourself." "Stand up to these crumbs." "They'll have you working..." "The soap, Doberman, the soap!" "You're as important as any man in this Army." "All you have to do is answer your roll call, do your work-- the glasses, the glasses-- and you answer to no man." "Believe in yourself, and the world will believe in you." "If you listen to these creeps, they'll have you working all day long." "All day long, everything but what they have to do themselves." "If you believe in yourself, the world will believe in you." "(snaps fingers)" "The glasses." "Believe in yourself!" "Believe firmly in yourself, and the world will recognize a man who has integrity, a man who is responsible to only himself." "The robe, Doberman, the robe!" "That's all you got to give these jerks is a little leeway." "That's all they need, and they'll take advantage all day long." "When you joined up, you became a soldier." "Act like a soldier." "Think like a soldier, 'cause you're as good as any man in this outfit." "I got the shoes outside." "The shoes!" "I was just gonna polish them!" "All right." "Doberman, Doberman, hand me that towel, will you?" "(snaps fingers)" "Get it yourself." "Good boy, Doberman." "That's the way to speak up to them." "Believe..." "The shoes, Doberman, the shoes!" "Well, what's with the rest of you creeps?" "Gonna stand around primping all day long, huh?" "Just gonna primp?" "What's with the work at the motor pool, Mullen?" "Are you gonna put those valves in the half trucks, or you waiting for the good fairy to help you?" "I've been helping Palmer on the carburetors." "Palmer?" "What's with you, subcontracting your work now?" "I'm an electrical man, Sarge." "I-I been just helping out on the, on the carburetors until Steve Nagy gets back." "Steve Nagy..." "that crazy Hungarian." "What a time he picks to go AWOL." "And now, when he does come back, I'll have to talk the colonel out of putting him in the guardhouse." "Meanwhile, that carburetor work keeps piling up!" "Where do you think he went this time, Sarge?" "Where he always goes-- home." "Hair tonic, Sarge?" "What I have I treat well." "Yeah." "That crazy Hunky." "The minute there's any trouble in his family, over the wall he goes;" "home he goes." "Hey, took off like a shot when I saw him." "Last time I saw him, he was writing a letter home." "Little did I know he intended to deliver it in person." "Attention!" "Bilko, the colonel wants to see you immediately." "Steve Nagy, sir?" "Yes, he just phoned from his home in Chicago." "He's ready to come back." "You're his sergeant;" "you've got to bring him back." "Yes, sir." "Bilko, I know you need Private Nagy in your motor pool on those carburetors." "But just for once, one of your AWOLs is gonna serve time in the guardhouse." "Now, go to Chicago and bring him back." "Yes, sir." "Sir, I figured it out." "From the time we discovered he was gone until the time he called in, that was only two days, sir." "Only two days?" "Yes, sir." "Well, then if I didn't prefer charges and referred the matter to your company commander..." "With a recommendation to merely restrict him to quarters." "Yes, yes." "Then if he's merely restricted to quarters, why not the motor pool?" "Why not, sir?" "And he could work on those carburetors." "Oh, sir, you've got it figured out." "Bilko!" "Yes, sir." "I've been through this with you before!" "Your men go AWOL, and I wind up recommending them for a Medal of Honor." "Now, go bring back Nagy!" "Yes, sir." "Sir, he's just an excitable guy." "I know, Bilko, but he's done this before." "When he joined the Army, he should've said he was gonna be a commuter." "Go and bring him back." "Yes, sir." "Did you say something, sir?" "What was that, sir?" "No, I didn't!" "Oh." "It's just that he's such a nice kid." "I hate to see him in trouble all the time." "Bilko." "Yes, sir?" "Could you get him back here by tomorrow?" "Sir, I can hitch a ride to the air base, be in Chicago, start back immediately and have him here in time for reveille." "All right, you'll have him on those carburetors again." "Sir, you've earned the undying affection..." "Just bring him back!" "And if anything happens, phone me personally." "I'm going out on a limb this time." "Sir, I'll never forget you..." "Yes, sir." "Did it again." "Well, Bilko?" "I'm off to Chicago, sir." "To bring back the prisoner?" "Yes, sir." "Sir, do I have to go and get him personally?" "It has to be you, Bilko, or a sergeant of equal rank." "I'll cut your orders." "Thank you, sir." "Sergeant of equal rank." "I..." "Oh, hey!" "Mess Sergeant Sowici." "Is this a coincidence?" "Just on my way over to see you." "I'm overwhelmed." "No kidding, Stanley." "The guys have been talking how the chow has improved since you came back from furlough." "No kidding." "Well, you do a bang-up job, Sowici." "You know, Ernie, I ain't gonna go to Chicago to bring back Steve Nagy for you." "Aw, come on." "Wise guy." "Well, here's the equipment you'll need." "There's the armband." "Yes, sir." "Here are the handcuffs." "Yes, sir." "And here's your .45." "Right." "If you have to fire, the safety's on the side." "Sir..." "I'll try to bring him back alive." "Good luck." "(folk music playing)" "(whooping, shouting)" "(door buzzer sounding)" "Hold it!" "Hold it, everybody!" "Someone's at the door." "(music stops)" "All right, all right, I'll take it." "Dance, dance!" "(music resumes)" "(man shouts)" "(music stops)" "Trick or treat." "Gee, Sergeant Bilko, I'm-I'm s..." "Come on, let's get moving, let's..." "You're Stevie's Sergeant Bilko!" "That's right." "That's my pop." "Hi, Mr. Nagy." "Hi!" "Nice to see you all." "So long." "Hey, everybody, this is Sergeant Bilko." "He comes to take Stevie back to the camp, huh?" "Sorry to butt in on the party." "I'll wait out in the hall." "(all protesting)" "No, you insult me." "On the night my daughter's engagement, in Hungary, not even a b-be... beggar wouldn't wait in the hall." "Well, I'm sorry." "(chuckling)" "Give him a drink." "I'll see you all later." "No!" "Don't go." "Don't go, come in." "I'm Steve's mother." "Now, you tell your colonel my Stevie's a good boy and comes home only when we need him." "I told the colonel that." "I told him." "You did?" "Yeah." "(laughter)" "Have a good time." "Come on, Steve..." "No!" "(clamoring)" "What's the hurry?" "It's a big night!" "These are my future in-laws, the most wonderful people in Chicago." "János!" "Zoltán!" "Zsa Zsa!" "Zoltán!" "Bilko!" "Bilko!" "Zsa Zsa!" "Bilko!" "Here, here, here." "This is, this is my..." "my-my daughter Magda and her fiancé Imre." "Bilko." "Bilko!" "Magda!" "Bilko!" "Magda!" "Bilko!" "Magda!" "I like this." "(chuckles)" "So long, everybody." "Don't go without drinking to the young couple." "All right, I can have one for the road." "Good luck, kids." "Good luck." "This..." "(gasping)" "(gasps loudly)" "Hey, what is that?" "This is barack, Sergeant." "It's a Hungarian drink." "That's not a drink;" "that's a secret weapon!" "(laughter)" "Well, good-bye, everybody!" "Oh, no, no!" "You mustn't..." "Don't leave without meeting Papa." "Papa..." "Well, who's that?" "That's my grandfather." "Oh, I'd like to meet him." "Here is Papa." "Papa, this is Sergeant Bilko." "Hi." "Six stripes!" "(sobbing) -(others murmuring)" "What happened?" "I didn't touch him." "I didn't lay a hand on him." "What's he crying for?" "Papa's crying because he was in the Hungarian Army." "Oh." "He had six stripes, too." "Oh, was he a sergeant?" "No, a private." "A private with six stripes?" "I'm Hungary, even a civilian has five stripes." "Oh." "Toast to the sergeant!" "Toast!" "No, no, thank you." "I've got to go." "Sorry." "Thanks for..." "Drink, drink!" "Sergeant." "I..." "Well... well." "I'll drink to you, my dear." "And your name?" "Vilma." "Vilma." "(chuckling)" "Hey, Ernie, Ernie!" "Steve, get out of here." "Vilma!" "Is it "Miss," or am I too late?" "No, you're in time, Sarge." "Is she signed with any team, or is she freelancing?" "She's freelancing." "Well..." "Oh, Sergeant, do you have to go right away?" "Well, I..." "Oh, Vilma!" "Don't be so forward." "Oh, she's not forward." "It's just that I've been a little backw..." "Will you get him off me?" "Six stripes!" "No, no, Papa, leave the sergeant alone." "Can't you see he wants to be with Vilma?" "(chuckles):" "That's right." "Vilma wants to czardas with him." "Yeah!" "Vilma wants to czardas with him!" "Vilma wants to cza..." "What does she want to do with me?" "Czardas." "That's a Hungarian dance, Sarge." "Oh, well." "Just thought I'd check." "Like to be in control all the time." "You are lovely, my little gypsy, lovely." "Hey, Sarge, we better go." "What's your hurry?" "Then you're going to stay for awhile?" "I guess I could fix it with the colonel for an hour." "(cheering)" "(lively music playing)" "Where's Vilma?" "Where's Vilma?" "Vilma?" "Is Vilma here?" "Vilma?" "Listen, listen, Vilma?" "(phone ringing)" "(lively music playing)" "BILKO:" "Hello, Colonel Hall?" "It's Sergeant Bilko." "Bilko?" "Sir, we've had an unavoidable accident." "We couldn't make that plane." "The next plane is 4:00 in the morning." "Where are you?" "At the airport." "Airport?" "Sounds like it's full of jukeboxes." "Bilko, you get that AWOL back here by noon, or you'll serve his time." "(cheering) -# #" "(music ends)" "(laughter)" "Wow..." "Hungarians are crazy." "Oh, you're a real Hungarian hepcat." "You're not bad yourself." "Say, listen, sugar, how about some more ammunition?" "Oh, some more barack?" "STEVE:" "Time to go, Sarge." "On the double, on..." "(barking orders)" "Time to go." "Where you rushing?" "Where you rushing?" "You got a nice family here." "Real friendly people." "Yeah, you should have seen 'em a couple of nights ago." "This place looked like Fight Night at St. Nick's." "Is that why you took off?" "Yeah, it was over my sister's dowry." "Dowry?" "Oh, it's an old country idea." "You know, more a matter of pride." "You see, both families come from the same little town in Hungary." "And each one says it was the others who were the peasants." "I got them to compromise;" "now everybody's happy." "Dowry, huh?" "Look, this Vilma..." "does money go with her?" "Sure." "Well, I had my heart set on a military wedding, but now I hear gypsy violins playing." "Your barack." "Well..." "What are you, what are you, a spectator?" "Move." "What do you say we go over to that little love seat, sugar?" "Here, here, here." "In all fairness, I should warn you, as we say in Madison Square Garden," ""Protect yourself at all times." -(squeals)" "Sergeant Bilko!" "Oh, no, Papa, pl..." "Six stripes!" "Please, you're shrinking the whole uniform. (mumbles)" "Papa, you can talk to the sergeant later." "(folk music resumes) -(Zsa Zsa squealing)" "(dancers yelling, whooping joyously)" "Sergeant, I thought you had forgotten all about me." "Forget about you, my dear?" "Can a man forget the stars?" "Sergeant Bilko!" "Oh, Papa, please." "Now tell me, do your dragoon use the Austerlitz saddle?" "Please, Papa, later." "Now-Now tell me..." "Darling, the moment I how often do you curry your horse?" "Please Pa..." "Look, Papa, six stripes." "(sobbing)" "You see?" "Oh, the thought that I have to leave first thing in the morning to face my re..." "Look, you're fading the whole uniform, Papa." "Please!" "The way... the way I think..." "Look, you're wetting all the stripes, Pa..." "Look, shlibitz." "What kind of a crack is that?" "It's a Hungarian card game." "Come on, let's kibitz." "Come on, Papa, hang on." "Here we go." "Hey, Sarge, how about a game of shlibitz?" "Shlibitz?" "What's that?" "It's a card game." "Card game?" "I never played that." "No, come take my place, Sergeant." "Bilko's the best card player in the whole Army." "Look, I never..." "Oh, wonderful." "I never played this." "If you can czardas, you can shlibitz." "I'll try anything." "How do you play it?" "Oh, it's easy." "We each get seven cards." "Now, if you get the jack of diamonds and the ten of clubs you're very lucky..." "Wait a minute." "You're mixing him up." "The ten of diamonds and jack of clubs is ten points, but if you get a yaddle..." "A yaddle?" "...oh, it's 15." "What's a yaddle?" "Two fours and a nine." "Now, if he plays a deuce, play a heart." "If you haven't got a heart, that's good... that's schniggle." "Schniggle?" "If he's got a heart, it's a..." "it's a schmeize." "Schmeize." "But whatever you do," "don't glintz." "Oh, I wouldn't glintz." "Why should I glintz?" "He touched the cards." "He will catch on." "Bet a quarter." "Bet a quarter?" "A quarter, yeah." "All right." "He doesn't know the game." "What do you mean he doesn't know the game?" "I just showed it to him." "(laughter)" "Okay, we'll bet a quarter." "(chuckles) This is cute." "Schnickle." "Glintz." "(gasping)" "Glintz!" "Glintz!" "Good." "You never played this game?" "Give you my word of honor-- never saw the game in my life." "Play, Imre." "Yes, Papa." "Yaddle." "Schmeize." "(shouting)" "You won, Sergeant." "I win?" "!" "You won!" "What'd I tell you?" "He's the greatest." "I wish I knew..." "Now we play a bit." "Come on, we play a game for a dollar." "Oh, no, I don't want to play for..." "Go ahead, get the..." "You're good." "Okay." "Take your time." "I've got to lose it back, because I've never played the game." "But I could learn it, I guess." "Yaddle." "Shlibitz." "Shlibitz." "No?" "Yaddle." "Well, if you yaddle, I shlibitz." "Yaddle, glintz, shlibitz." "(shouting)" "Yaddle." "Schmeize!" "Schmeize?" "Yaddle, glibitz, glintz, double schmeize." "(cheering)" "PAPA:" "Not..." "not since Budapest have I seen a double schmeize." "And why shouldn't you see a double schmeize tonight, when you bring here a professional shlibitz player?" "Huh?" "Dressed as a soldier." "Now, wait a minute..." "What do you mean?" "I never played this game in my life." "What...?" "Oh, you never played, huh?" "Only a man who was born, raised and grew up in a Hungarian coffee shop could play shlibitz like you." "Papa, don't get excited!" "What are you talking about?" "What are you getting...?" "I'm talking about you bringing in this card shark to win back the dowry." "The dowry?" "!" "(sputtering)" "If you want the money back, ask for it like a gentleman, and I'll give it to you like a gentleman." "Here!" "What?" "!" "(clamoring)" "No, wait a minute." "Here's the dollar back." "The wedding is off!" "The wedding is off!" "(all shouting)" "The wedding is not off..." "Let's get out of here!" "Let's get out before we are old." "Quiet." "Quiet!" "(clamoring stops) -(sobbing):" "Six stripes!" "(clamoring resumes)" "Sergeant Bilko, won't you have some more breakfast, huh?" "No, we got to go." "Please, thank you." "Come on, Steve, I promised the colonel." "Yes, sir." "Steve, here is your lunch, and here is a cake for your friends in the guardhouse." "Okay, Mom, I got to go." "You sure you have everything?" "Yeah, Pop." "Hey, wait a minute, hey." "Prisoner?" "Hold this, prisoner." "Yes, Sarge." "Well, Sergeant Bilko, good-bye." "Next time, when you come to Chicago to pick up Steve," "we'll show you a better time." "Thank you very much." "Yeah, and always consider this your house." "Thank you." "Ver..." "You're very sweet." "I'm sorry all the trouble I caused you." "Trouble?" "Thanks to you," "Magda hasn't married this butcher family." "Yeah." "Oh, Magda-- you didn't say good-bye to her." "Magda, Steve and the sergeant are leaving." "Good-bye, sirs." "Good-bye, Sergeant Bilko." "Bye, Magda." "It's nice knowing you." "I'm sorry about all the trouble, and especially about Imre." "Imre..." "Imre!" "(sobbing)" "Oh, now, Magda...!" "Sarge, we got to go." "Are you sure I can't...?" "Bye." "No, it's-it's all right." "Don't cry, Magda." "You must be happy not to marry this-this-this butcher boy." "I can't help it." "Sergeant Bilko, what...?" "I'm sorry, Mrs. Nagy." "I got her into this, I got to get her out of it." "My conscience would bother me for the rest of my life." "Let me talk to her a minute alone, will ya?" "Please?" "Of course." "Just let me alone with her a minute." "I'm sorry, Sergeant Bilko." "Now, this is silly, Magda." "You love Imre, don't you?" "Mm-hmm." "Why don't you marry him?" "But my family..." "Now, look, is there a marriage bureau in this town?" "Yes, on the 17th floor of the Municipal Building." "17th floor of the Municipal Building." "Municipal Building." "I want you there at 3:00." "Yes." "You'll be there, you under...?" "You see this "MP"?" "Yes." "See what that stands for..." ""Marriage Promoter."" "I said, "pot roast." Pot roast!" "Yes, Mrs. Polinski, pot roast." "Pot roast!" "Imre, will you stop mooning and take a little interest in Mrs. Polinski's pot roast?" "Yes, Papa." "(door opens, bells jangle)" "(door closing)" "Ah, N. Varga  Son." "Well, you've really got a beautiful place here." "Imre, lock up the meat." "That shlibitz shark is here." "Please, Mr. Varga, you're looking at a very disillusioned man." "And what is this disillusion?" "Oh, those Nagys." "Oh, found out what crooks they are, huh?" "Hired you to win back the dowry, and didn't pay you, huh?" "Not a cent." "Hmm." "Boy, is your son... he's lucky he didn't marry into that family." "Ah, don't tell it to me, go and tell it to him." "Maybe he'll stop, uh... worrying about those... that Magda." "Uh, I'll get you that meat, Mrs. Drubek." "Imre..." "He's waiting on me." "Just a minute, lady." "I want to talk to you." "He's having enough trouble." "Will you relax, please?" "Imre, you don't know how lucky you are." "You're a lucky fella, believe me, Imre, real lucky." "Lucky to have a girl like Magda in love with you." "Are you going to stand here and cut meat while love passes you by?" "Please, no gristle." "Will you please, lady?" "Now come on, Imre." "There isn't a butcher in Chicago who wouldn't hock his block to have a girl like Magda." "Now, what are you going to do?" "Magda." "Beautiful Magda with those flashing eyes." "That heavenly figure." "That heavenly figure." "Trim off the fat." "Will you please, lady?" "Now look, are you going to stand on your own two feet and be a man of destiny, or are you going to stand here while love walks away?" "You know what's waiting for you?" "Well, what should I do?" "What should you...?" "Save the bone for the dog." "Will you please?" "On the 17th floor of the Federal Building, love is waiting for you." "Now you get right over there." "Yeah, but Sergeant, if I..." ""But Sarge," my eye." "There's a man there... all you's do is take a paper, say "I do," and love comes your way." "Yeah?" "Come on, on the double." "Yeah, I'm going." "(barking orders)" "I'm going." "Now what's your trouble, madam?" "Pot roast." "Pot roast." "Pot roast." "You want it with gristle?" "You want the bone chopped?" "Should we ship it to you?" "Would you like...?" "What's going on here?" "Where's Imre?" "Imre?" "I don't know where Imre is." "But I would advise you to be at the Nagy house tonight for a little surprise." "The Nagys?" "I thought you hated them." "I changed my mind." "Now, remember, when the young couple get here, you play... (humming "Wedding March")" "Very simple." "Let me hear it." "(playing "Wedding March" as gypsy folk tune)" "(mutters)" "Hey!" "Don't get so carried away." "Leave out the schmaltz, will ya?" "Play it simple." "It's very serious." "It's the "Wedding March."" "(humming "Wedding March")" "Just that..." "let's hear it." "(playing "Wedding March" as gypsy folk tune)" "Hey!" "What are you doing?" "Everything you play sounds like the second Hungarian Rhapsody." "Will you do it my way once, please?" "(humming "Wedding March")" "That's all." "Let's hear it." "(playing "Wedding March" as gypsy folk tune)" "All right, all right, work on it a while." "Where did you get this Hungarian Sauter and Finegan?" "Now, you are sure they are coming right here after they were married?" "Magda promised me the minute they got married, they're going to come home." "Oh, Zoltán, at last!" "Our baby will be happy." "Ah!" "You are right, pupul." "Sergeant Bilko, how can we thank you?" "It's all right." "Listen, Steve, the minute they get here," "remember, we got to take off." "(door buzzer)" "Oh, that must be them." "Come on." "Oh!" "(all humming "Wedding March" as band plays)" "(sobbing)" "Hey, fellas?" "(music stops)" "What's the matter, Magda?" "Where's-Where's Imre?" "I waited for three hours in the marriage bureau." "He has jolted her." "Sergeant Bilko, you have made a disgrace of us." "I don't know what happened." "(door buzzer)" "What could have...?" "It's the Vargas." "The Vargas." "I kill you!" "I kill you!" "No, no, no, no, no...!" "Take it easy." "Well, what's wrong?" "What happened?" "What?" "What, you don't know, huh?" "What happened?" "You didn't plan it that way?" "You didn't send him up to the 17th floor?" "Where's Imre?" "Where's Imre?" "!" "Here's Imre, here." "MAGDA:" "Imre!" "What happened?" "You said the 17th floor of the Federal Building." "Federal Building?" "Municipal Building!" "Did I say, "Federal Building"?" "Yeah, that's the... that's the recruiting office, Sarge." "Holy..." "Oh!" "I did just what you said." "You certainly did." "Oh, I'll kill you!" "No, no, be quiet, be quiet." "Quiet, wait a minute." "Now, wait a second." "Did you take the oath?" "Not till tomorrow." "Oh, I can get you out of it." "But you got to be married by tomorrow." "(cheering)" "But Colonel, those garbage trucks broke down." "The motor pool is jammed sky-high." "I know, I know." "Bilko will be here any minute now." "Uh, have you got that jeep waiting at the airport?" "(phone ringing)" "Yes, sir." "(celebratory yelling and lively music playing)" "Oh, no." "Still in Chicago?" "Bilko, what's that noise?" "That's a czardas, sir." "# #" "(laughing)" "Ah..." "(music stops)" "Oh, Sergeant Bilko, how can I ever thank you?" "That's all right, honey." "Sergeant Bilko, are you not happy that I made you stay another day so that you could be best man?" "Sergeant, one more czardas." "Now look, Mama, we're in enough trouble." "We've got to go." "Come on..." "Please." "Music." "(band resumes lively tune) -(door buzzer)" "Hey, there's the door." "There's the door." "(indistinct voices)" "(music stops)" "Music." "(music resumes) -(Vilma laughs)" "(music stops)" "Hee!" "Hee!" "Hee!" "Hee!" "Hee..." "Sowici." "I was just taking Steve right back." "Here we go." "Forget about Steve." "The colonel sent me to get you and bring you back." "Hey, handcuffs, Sowici?" "Really?" "Sowici... isn't that a Hungarian name?" "No, it's Polish." "Polish!" "Oh, they can dance the czardas better than the Hungarians." "Czardas?" "Gosh, I haven't danced a czardas in..." "Sergeant, just one?" "No, I-I..." "Music!" "(music resumes)" "(joyful shouting)" "ANNOUNCER:" "Varga was played by Hans Schumm," "Mr. Nagy by Ben Astar," "Doberman by Maurice Gosfield."