"People have been pouring in right from the morning" "Yes." "The more shoulders you find at a time like this the better" "The poor chap!" "Till yesterday, he was having fun and frolic" "He had just started living it up." "And in the prime of his youth..." "Alas!" "It's so sad!" "Is someone dead?" "No, he's getting married tomorrow" "Prem!" "Come over immediately." "I'm so shit scared..." "looks like I'll never have to get up from this place ever again" "Jerk, till yesterday, we didn't have the licence to have a honeymoon" "After your wedding tomorrow, you'll have the licence... to have a honeymoon all your life!" "A genuine one!" "And what haven't I done for a license?" "I begged God... even consulted a palmist." "But even when I land a girl... she won't let me touch her!" "One was the movie... and here's a case of the handbeingthebestbet" "But that bachelor party I've arranged." "Is it necessary?" "Now look, this bachelors' party is meant less for you... and more for bachelors like us, you dig?" "But if we get caught today, I'll remain a bachelor all my life" "Nothing of the sort's going to happen!" "Just imagine... the beach at Madh Island." "A bungalow on the beach... and Vimla and Mangala in the bungalow!" "But where's Meet, by the way?" "Don't you know him?" "He must've run into one of Pooja's friends" "Excuse me... if I'm not wrong, aren't you my sister Pooja's friend?" "Bye, baby" "Hello, sister." "Namaste, dude" "Hi guys!" "What's up?" "This girl who just left...?" "Oh yes, She's my sister Pooja's friend" "Beats me, Meet!" "How does this formula of yours always work?" "Very simple." "You won't find a more common name than Pooja in this country" "Shout "Pooja" on the streets and a dozen girls will rush to you" "Every girl has a friend called Pooja." "So I turn Pooja's brother... and then, her friend's beau!" "Nice name your parents gave you" "Every girl you meet, you become her "Meet" (mate)" "You know my funda" "Days and girls must change at the break of dawn" "Enough." "Stop flattering yourself." "Cut it out, guys" "I've tried the bridegroom's uniform a dozen times" "But I'm still very scared." "You ought to be too" "A marriage brings not only an engagement ring and a wedding ring... there's another ring too." "What?" "Suffering!" "So my friend, live it up to your heart's content tonight" "Because with the sunrise tomorrow, you're gonna be finished!" ""A bachelor..."" ""has taken the bait"" ""The poor chap..."" ""has fallen in the trap"" ""Just a couple of days of moonlit romance..."" ""followed by dark nights"" ""Take it from me, O bridegroom"" ""It's just a matter of time." "You're gonna face the music"" ""A bachelor..."" ""has taken the bait"" ""The poor chap..."" ""has fallen in the trap"" ""Trapped in her mesmerising eyes..."" ""you're carried away, because she loves you"" ""A few sweet words that led to her future being secured"" ""You'd better know the bitter truth..."" ""better see the face behind the mask"" ""Do not venture anywhere near her house"" ""It's just a matter of time." "You're gonna face the music"" ""Yet another bachelor..."" ""takes the bait"" ""Laugh today, for you have to cry tomorrow..."" ""your peace and happiness, you're going to lose"" ""You'll stand up when she asks you to..."" ""you'll have to go to bed, when she so bids"" ""You'll have to become a slave..."" ""you'll have to grovel before her"" ""So better you come back, my friend"" ""It's just a matter of time." "You're gonna face the music"" ""Yet another bachelor..."" ""has taken the bait"" ""The poor chap..."" ""has fallen in the trap" ""Just a couple of days of moonlit romance..."" ""followed by dark nights"" ""Take it from me, O bridegroom"" ""It's just a matter of time." "You're gonna face the music"" "How many incantations are you going to recite, priest?" "Weren't you paid to hurry up?" "All right, all right" "Put the bridal necklace around her neck, son" "Hurry up." "Hurry up" "This guy's lost it all right!" "Go on, tiger!" "Bell the cat!" "But I've never before..." "you know what I mean?" "What difference does it make?" "You never knew how to ride a bicycle" "But you learnt." "There's no difference between riding a bicycle and this" "Once you sit on the bicycle, everything will happen on its own!" "All you got to know is when to apply the brakes!" "Or she's going to spring a pregnant tummy!" "Go on!" "All the best on your life imprisonment!" "But I was here to have my nuptial night!" "We'll have a nuptial night... that won't let you sleep all your life" "Enough!" "I can't do it anymore!" "I'm exhausted!" "I'm no machine." "I've been at it for an hour" "I told you not to stop!" "You got to do it at least thrice more" "You got tired quickly even yesterday." "C'mon!" "Give it all you have!" "Go on, get up..." "you got to do the pushups too" "I've been paying for it in the last three years anyway" "What...?" "Push ups... that's what I'm doing" "Bindiya, did you see my glasses somewhere?" "Must be around somewhere, Mother" "I wonder which scoundrel cast an evil eye on my eyesight" "I just can't see without my glasses." "Hurry up, Bindiya..." "Brock Lesner's going to break Kurt Angle's legs on WWF" "The sofa's legs have broken!" "Not the sofa, it's my back!" "Is that you, Amar...?" "Yes" "You took me for a sofa and plonked yourself on me!" "Thank God it was you and not the sofa" "Sofas are so expensive nowadays." "What?" "You're worried about the sofa and not me...?" "Get up!" "Thank you, dear" "Listen carefully!" "My nephew is coming on a transfer from Delhi soon" "If he sees that my soninlaw is such a skinny little guy..." "I'm going to lose face in the community!" "Not to worry, Mother." "I'm going to feed him bittergourd and mint juice... and make a Tarzan out of him!" "Not Tarzan, my dear." "The Undertaker!" "Have you made the potato pancakes with lots of clarified butter?" "Oh yes, there's the carrot halwa too, Mummy" "Can I have also have a pancake, Mummy?" "You'll get a slap instead" "Now go and get ready quickly." "It's time to leave for the clinic" "And here's your pocketmoney for the day 20 rupees, to take you to the clinic." "How about my return...?" "Oh yes." "How about some coffee?" "I'm the one who fills up people's dental cavities and makes the money" "And I got to ask you for pocketmoney!" "Yes" "Because you mustn't eat outside." "Because you mustn't drink and smoke!" "Now go and take a bath!" "Go... and take a bath!" "Scoundrels!" "You're laughing at me?" "Have you ever considered what your buddy's been through these 3 years?" "Guys get cars in dowry." "They get scooters and computers" "And look at me!" "I've got a motherinlaw!" "One that was never a daughterinlaw!" "But wherever you guys are..." "I'm sure you're still having a roaring honeymoon right now" "Even if there's no moon in the sky... the honeymoon happens with honey every night!" "Don't tell me!" "Of course" "That's exactly why I'm late at work every day" "When one works hard in the night, he'll obviously wake up late, won't he?" "But I wake up early in the morning at six every day" "You mean you wake up early and even go to sleep early!" "Gita and I've planned to watch a blue film together, you know?" "Blue film?" "You mean porn?" "Yes, my wife never hesitates in trying out something new" "New discoveries after all come from experimentation" "Take Newton, for instance." "There he lay under the tree... when the apple fell on him and he had discovered the law of gravity" "I too will have a nuptial night as I lie in bed!" "My wife will pounce on me the moment I get home!" "What are you doing?" "Touching my husband's feet" "I beg you, don't keep touching my feet like this!" "Why not?" "A woman's heaven lies at her husband's feet" "The heaven's a bit above the feet, not "at" the feet!" "What things are you saying?" "So you get what I'm saying?" "Oh yes, you spoke about your heart, didn't you?" "I have a splitting headache!" "Want me press your head?" "You won't press what you must!" "What?" "My throat!" "Why would I press your throat?" "If I had such ideas, why would I observe so many fasts for your long life?" "You're increasing my lifespan all right... but you're snatching my youthfulness from me!" "If it isn't this Goddess, it's that one... some excuse or the other!" "You've launched one attack after another on my happiness for a month!" "A month of abstention from tomorrow." "Abstention...?" "You mean, this month's gonna play villain and ruin my fun?" "But you aren't observing a fast today, are you?" "Let the flower of love blossom tonight!" "No, I got to attend a whole night session of prayer" "Whole night?" "Yes, I was waiting for you to come" "I must leave now" "Ramu, any patient out there?" "There is, sir." "A lady" "And it appears as if she's been waiting for lifetimes, not just today" "Who is she?" "Miss Saxena" "Saxena!" "Out of fright, my heart's hammering away wildly" "Check it out" "Ramu, do what you will, but get rid of her" "Why?" "She's one battery... that's always ready to charge me!" "And I want to remain dead" "Sir, the world says, "Give me red" And you want to stay dead?" "Stop arguing and do as I say." "Tell her that I took ill... and left the clinic!" "Then how will you go out, sir?" "How're you doing, Amar?" "I'm fine." "How're you?" "How's your practice coming along?" "Till there's a virile species of human beings in the world... sexologists like us are going to have a roaring practice" "Yes, darling?" "No, I'm going to be late tonight" "I'm putting in extra hours" "You know how many patients I have" "At times, I have to attend to two of them together" "You go ahead and eat." "Not me..." "I'll eat outside" "Doctor, may I ask you something?" "Sure, go ahead" "You said you'd be late." "And she agreed, without a word?" "What's so great about that?" "Never let the wife bully you." "Or she becomes a nuisance" "You must forever remind her that you wear the pants in the family." "Not she" "That's all right." "Keep the tea here and get on with the laundry" "As you command, Bindiyaji" "What are you thinking about?" "Nothing" "You're right." "They ought to be reminded that we wear the pants in the family" "Wait for me in the car, I'll join you soon" "Ever since I've employed these two girls as nurses..." "I have hordes of patients!" "Take this instance a few days earlier" "There was this guy who just couldn't get it up" "But ever since he saw them, it's up on salute." "Get it?" "I suggest you too employ a sexy nurse for your dispensary" "Actually, I find it very strange to deal with women" "But I'm comfortable with guys." "No, don't get very comfortable with me" "That's not how it is!" "In such matters, I'm a worshipper of love" "For a moment, I thought you were angling for a man, you know!" "Prem babu..." "What is it?" "So how did it go last night?" "I don't have words to describe it" "Guess what's in my hand." "What?" "A bluefilm." "Inspired by your words last night..." "I have convinced Snehlata to do an experiment" "Subramaniam is also going to be late at work from tomorrow!" "This scapegoat's about to be slain!" "He's lost it" "I can't believe it's you in person!" "Where were you?" "But I'm here!" "How've you been?" "Great!" "How've you been?" "Faggots!" "They're hugging in the middle of the road." "Excuse me" "In the middle of the road..." "Amar?" "You?" "Doctor!" "Let me introduce you to my darling." "This is Prem!" ""In such matters, I'm a worshipper of love"" "Love on the open streets...?" "What a shame!" "What's so shameful about it?" "Prem and I've been buddies since we were in college" "You mean, you love each other from so many days?" "Oh yes!" "Why don't you join us?" "What rubbish!" "Lay off!" "What are you doing?" "Wait, doctor..." "The poor doc must be imagining the two of us in a pose of Kamasutra!" "Give me a fag." "Mine are over." "Fag...?" "You've given it up?" "No ways, dude" "Why must I give it up?" "I light up a couple of packets in a day" "But I don't have any now." "Never mind." "We'll send for it" "A packet of cigarettes, please." "Very well, sir" "Remember, this used to be our haunt during our college days?" "Times have changed, but not this place" "The same tables, the same chairs... isn't it?" "Any news of Meet?" "Or is he still hunting cats in Delhi?" "He married a rich jeweller's daughter in Delhi and settled down there" "But I'm told he has come back to Mumbai and has started a jewellery showroom" "All said, he found the right match." "Oh yes" "He was always after virgins" "I got an idea..." "No, no..." "Listen!" "Let's have a reunion, man!" "Let the three of us get together and have a blast" "Not three, four of us." "Four?" "You, Meet, me and our booze!" "Meet hasn't come as yet." "The star will make a late entry" "Look!" "There at the bar!" "He started the moment he arrived!" "Not a word to him, c'mon!" "Hail Shiva!" "Hail Lord Rama!" "We're sorry, we didn't know..." "You guys can't do better" "When you don't find a chick, you manage with any Tom, Harry or Dick!" "Who are you, mister?" "Despo, chicken..." "it's me!" "Meet!" "What's wrong with you?" "What clothes have you worn?" "The whole of India wears what is the lastest fashion" "But what Meet wears becomes the latest fashion!" "Never mind all this!" "So how's it going, chicken?" "You still have a valid honeymoon licence or has it already expired?" "Marriage and life are chugging along just fine" "Wow!" "And how about you, despo?" "Are you happy or...?" "Are you still keeping yourself happy?" "Look, guys." "Between a monkey in a cage... and man in a marriage, there's not much difference" "Even if they want to jump around... there's just one tree they can mount in the cage!" "Are you living in a jungle of trees with your wife then?" "No, my boy." "Aanchal and I live in our beautiful lovenest" "You know me." "Girls and bankruptcy can't twist even a strand of my hair" "Really?" "So how come your hair's all jelled to your skull?" "You've been sitting under the tree and letting the streetside barber... work on your hair." "What would you know about hairstyles?" "The Meet who feasted on a lavish spread every day... is satisfied with a single dish nowadays?" "No way!" "Aanchal is no ordinary dish" "She's a wish every man prays to God for" "But He grants such wishes only to a chosen few" "What an understanding wife I have." "No nagging or meddling!" "She gives me so much of space, sometimes I think I'm on earth... and she's in outerspace!" "Sweetheart, I don't know what gets into me the moment you leave home" "Life is so short!" "In this short life..." "I don't want to miss a single expression on your face... nor a single moment of our togetherness or the words you speak!" "Oh yes." "All over again...?" "We did it half an hour ago, didn't we?" "Half an hour...?" "You know what could happen in half an hour?" "A whole episode of a soap could get over in half an hour" "Water in the freezer turns to ice in half an hour" "What's half an hour?" "Half a second's separation from you... reduces me to half of myself, sweetheart!" "Could I have some water?" "I had already drunk from it" "Say it louder!" "So that everyone can hear you" "Happy...?" "Very happy!" "May I go back now?" "Okay, sweetheart." "I'll call again, okay?" "These new phones..." "they just don't have the range!" "Your drink is over?" "This will be the last order, sir." "What?" "In that case, get us six bottles more" "Because no order can stop us from drinking all night, right?" ""Our friendship..."" ""we shall never abandon"" "Shut that radio!" "My friend and he has such a crass voice!" "I've met my buddies after years" "I'm going to sing to my heart's content today" "See?" "Your song has made my mobile weep" "Where are you?" "You know how late it is?" "Network problem...?" "It's better there" "He said his wife gave him a lot of space" "So why's she calling again and again?" "Go on, sweetheart." "Sweetheart... where are you?" "Right here." "With Amar and Prem" "May I come over?" "I'll get to meet the two of them too" "No!" "Don't come here!" "I'm coming home soon" "What's wrong with you, Aanchal?" "Is this any way to behave?" "Is this what I taught you?" "Why're you calling me again and again for such trivial things?" "Didn't I tell you, when I'm with my friends..." "I'll stay out as long as I want to, understand?" "Go to sleep!" "He sure wears the pants." "What?" "You won't understand" "I knew it!" "This guy's been fibbing!" "Meet, you've been making fools out of us all this while?" "He was enacting a drama of lording over his wife!" "Where was the need to do all this, my friend?" "Yes, I lied!" "I lied that my wife gives me space!" "My wife is like the satellite station in space... that hovers on me all 24 hours to keep a watch over me!" "She's a glue even the adhesive companies will sponsor!" "Even when we go to the movies, she books two seats all around us!" "So that no good looking girl gets to sit by me" "This jelled hair, you see?" "It's no trendy hairstyle" "She got the streetside barber to work on me under a tree!" "So that my stylish hairlocks don't make a girl swoon over me" "Friends, I'm not just a monkey who's being held in the cage" "I've also been tied to the tree in the cage!" "Don't cry, Meet." "Don't" "Your wife is at least after you all 24 hours, like a satellite" "If only my wife found time from Shankar, Kishan and Pawan... she would run after me" "What?" "Your wife's having an affair with all three of them?" "No!" "Lord Shankar, Lord Krishna and Lord Hanuman, of the Pawan (air)" "Whenever I try to touch her..." "I feel as if I'm ringing the bell in a temple!" "It's bells for you" "But my wife and her mother play the symphony for me!" "They aren't just mother and daughter." "They come from the WWF!" "They keep banging me to the ground every day of my life in the ring!" "Our plight makes it clear to me today" "Why most men die of heartattack!" "Why?" "Because women don't have a heart!" "These wives drive us to our deaths!" "There's no fun or frolic in our lives!" "It's like a dish that has no spice to it!" "It's an icecream without any cream!" "It's a lentilcurry... that has had no seasoning!" "I'm sick of having the same insipid lentilcurry day after day!" "I got an idea!" "No, Prem!" "No idea" "Whenever I see that look in your eyes, he's going to get us killed again!" "We always weep when we listen to you" "As if we aren't weeping right now!" "Think" "One smile from a beautiful girl makes us puff our chests in pride" "But imagine what would happen if a girl not only smiled... but also said a few loving words to us?" "What if she had hugged us?" "What if she had given us a kiss?" "What are you getting at?" "Don't we go out to eat on every weekend?" "We do And why do we?" "Why?" "Because the food at home... is so boring." "One needs to eat the biryani outside once in a while" "Man begins to hate the same lentilcurry he gets at home every day!" "That's just where our marriages are at the moment!" "If we don't get a taste of the biryani outside... the lentilcurry, I mean... we'll begin to hate our wives!" "Hang on!" "What do you mean?" "I mean, if we aren't getting love and fun from our wives... why don't we find love outside and have a ball?" "He's gone mad!" "You've lost it!" "You're going to have us killed!" "Hey!" "Take it from me." "This is the only way of bringing the fun back into our lives!" "I am not saying that we don't love our wives" "But right now, we need love from someone else!" "So let's have an affair and our marriages will get better!" "If my wife gets to know, I won't have a marriage at all!" "Affair!" "How can one have an affair just like that?" "You need a girl to have an affair." "A girl!" "Are you saying that, Meet?" "You?" "You used to change girls every morning!" "I used to." "Past tense!" "Nothing has changed!" "Try the arena again!" "All the maidens will want to play ball with you!" "Don't tell me!" "Of course!" "I hate saying you're right... but you're right for the first time in your life!" "Meet, you too?" "Loyalties swapped?" "No, no..." "listen to me!" "From what I've heard, when a man is unfaithful with his wife... his guilty conscience begins to torment him!" "And because of that, he tries double as much to keep his wife happy!" "Taking Prem's advise... and having an affair with a sexy girl... might lead us to love our wives even more!" "What a thirdrate philosophy!" "It's the right philosophy!" "It's decided then!" "For a month from today... we won't have the lentilcurry at home!" "We'll find a restaurant... where we get the biryani with all the meat!" "Let's meet after a month and tell each other... how many times we have enjoyed the delicacies on offer outside!" "But..." "But what...?" "Why're you such a chicken?" "C'mon, Amar!" "Get out of the cage and become the king of the jungle!" "Call from Bindiya." "Take my advise." "Refuse the call!" "Yes, Amar!" "Don't take the call" "Else, this phone will be the thorn in your path for a whole month ahead!" "Refuse it!" "How will I refuse it...?" "Refuse it, my tiger!" "Refuse it!" "C'mon, Amar!" "Show courage!" "Don't take it!" ""Fun..."" ""fun"" ""My heart's a free bird." "Do not put in a cage..."" ""let our gaze meet, if it has to"" ""Let's have fun and frolic, let's have nights of excitement"" ""Fun..."" ""fun, fun, fun"" ""My heart's a free bird." "Do not put in a cage..."" ""let our gaze meet, if it has to"" ""Let's have fun and frolic, let's have nights of excitement"" ""This one has an intoxicating gait..."" ""this one has pink cheeks"" ""This one has all the airs"" ""This one's consent is amazing..."" ""this one's refusal is amazing"" ""And this one's refusal is also her consent"" ""Yes, oh yes, yes, yes"" ""Let's hug in love, you'll have your peace"" ""Here's your chance, have all the fun, make the best of this moment"" ""Live it up without a worry"" ""The wife's at home." "There are other fishes outside"" ""That's the whole truth, yes, yes, yes!"" ""Yes..." "yes, yes, yes!"" ""Give me a kiss, give me a hug, there is no ban on love"" ""My heart's a free bird." "Do not put in a cage..."" ""let our gaze meet, if it has to"" ""Let's have fun and frolic, let's have nights of excitement"" ""Fun..."" ""fun, fun, fun"" "Tell me something, Sheetal." "Aren't you happy here?" "Excuse me...?" "Aren't you happy here...?" "I am happy sir." "Very very happy!" "So where is the charming smile... which made me happily give you this job?" "Doctor, wait here." "What is it?" "You ran away so soon yesterday." "You couldn't meet Prem properly" "That meeting was enough." "In the brief meeting you had... you made such a lasting impression on his heart" "What...?" "Yes." "He kept chanting your name" "The litup face, the tight pants..." "he went crazy over you" "He wants to meet you." "Why...?" "He has a problem and he's dying to have you cure him, doctor" "May I take an appointment for him?" "Sure... no, no!" "I'm busy!" "All month!" "All my life!" "Hey doctor..." "listen" "That's what I'm fixing, sir" "Sir, it's a call from Miss Saxena." "Shall I tell her you're unwell... that you haven't come to work?" "No, call her over" "What?" "Yes" "I'll not only see her today, I'll even see how she pines" "Once and for all, I'll fix it all up" "But sir, she's an everready battery?" "That's exactly why I'm calling her" "I'm absolutely ready today to get charged and deliver!" "Ramu, no more dead!" "Give me red!" "Get to work!" "Lord!" "Send that beauty to me!" "Not him... to me!" "Please sit down" "What can I do for you?" "I've come to open up here" "An account" "You will help me, won't you?" "This is the first time I'm opening up, you see..." "But I open up everyday!" "I'll happily help you open up!" "You've solved my worries." "No problem... just fill up this form... and collect the cheque book and the pass book this evening" "This evening...?" "Oh God" "Actually, my husband is going abroad this evening" "I'm going to be all alone at home in the night" "All alone...?" "Absolutely" "In that case, you don't have to come." "I'll come over to your place" "In the night." "Really?" "Will you take all the trouble for me?" "No trouble at all" "That's the motto of our bank." "Door to door service" "Just give me the address." "Sure" "Prembabu, my wife is out of town too" "With whom...?" "You're right!" "Lord!" "If you keep treating me to such great food..." "I'm going to get into the habit of eating out every day" "That's what I intend to do." "I want to eat out every day" "And should we eat together, it'll be even more fun" "You're such a gem of a person." "And lonely too" "Will you have dinner with me tonight?" "To rid me of my loneliness?" "I hope this is not a dream" "Sheetal, see all the dreams you want to, right now" "Because tonight, I'm neither going to let you sleep, nor dream" "I'll be back in a moment" "I thought you'd be rusty after years of inactivity!" "But no, man!" "You're still the best!" "Satellite...?" "What's she doing here?" "If she catches me with Sheetal... the cableconnection is going to be cut off from my life forever!" "Under the table, Meet!" "Duck for cover!" "Sweetheart..." "Sweetheart..." "Sweetheart!" "What are you doing here?" "That's exactly what I want to know" "What are you doing here?" "I wanted to go to the bathroom" "The bathroom at the showroom is awful." "So I came here" "Lovely bathroom." "Wow!" "This is great!" "I was about to telephone you" "Me...?" "What for?" "I missed you, sweetheart" "Let's sit here and have an icecream." "Icecream...?" "I have a terrible cold!" "Cold?" "Let's go and see the doctor!" "Yet, let's get out of here!" "Excuse me, sir." "Where to...?" "Your bill?" "Strange restaurant!" "They give you a bill for a visit to the bathroom!" "Give the bill at the table." "Not here... the table!" "Don't you guys know...?" "Give it at the table!" "Let's go to the doctor." "Come..." "He will pay the bill." "Who?" "Him...?" "You're such a sweetheart..." "How are you keeping now, doctor?" "Better." "I'm absolutely all right" "You ought to be too!" "You're so fit, so energetic!" "Through the shirt I can see your muscles, without the shirt..." "Please lie down." "I mean, sit down." "Sure" "Doctor, don't let anything remain unfinished today" "Whatever you have to do, just get it over with!" "Of course." "You look great." "You've maintained a great figure" "Where have I maintained it?" "I've put on so much of weight" "Touch and see... see" "I wouldn't call it flab." "I'd say, there's more of you to love" "You do know how to press all the right buttons on a woman" "Open your mouth" "Please come." "I've been waiting for you" "For a beauty like you..." "I actually came rushing!" "Here's your passbook and chequebook" "Keep the passbook with you" "Let's go into the bedroom" "Lovely bedroom!" "So spacious..." "it even has a bed!" "Sit down." "Your bed is so soft" "It's because I'm very delicate" "I like soft things." "Soft...?" "With the exception of strong tea" "Isn't it a bit hot here?" "Yes, it's very hot" "So why don't you take off your clothes?" "What?" "Relax" "A glass of hot milk" "I'll be back in a jiffy" "Drink it up" "Different flavours." "Strawberry, pistachio and banana" "If you must have milk, try Lele!" "Uncle, catch!" "How often have I told you not to touch my feet!" "Why're you so angry?" "You appear to be very tired." "Yes, I am!" "I have a glass of hot milk for you." "Have some, please" "Milk...?" "Yes, it's a new brand." "Lele milk" "Lele...?" "Different flavours!" "Strawberry, pistachio and bananas!" "What are you doing...?" "I told you, madam." "Goods once sold, are not taken back in exchange" "One moment, please" "I wanted to talk to you..." "I'm busy with the customer" "Listen, how about talking it over at the restaurant at lunchtime?" "I've brought my lunchbox from home today" "Listen..." "I'm requesting you..." "I'm really sorry, madam" "I can't exchange this necklace." "Do it" "What, sir?" "Exchange it" "But how about our company's policy?" "Our company has just one policy" "I mean the customer's always right." "Go and bring another!" "Actually, the necklace isn't as priceless as you are" "What?" "The customer is like God" "He's worshipped!" "That reminds me... if I'm not wrong, are you my sister Pooja's friend?" "Pooja...?" "Are you Pooja's brother?" "Yes." "And you?" "God, you've changed so much!" "So have you" "I'm just as I was" "However you are, you are just amazing!" "Remember?" "We met at Rocky's party last time?" "Rocky...?" "Oh yes, I remember." "You had had so much to drink... you took off your pants and jumped into the swimming pool in your green undies!" "You vomitted so much, you couldn't even stand straight!" "Happens some times." "What's her name..." "Sapna!" "You grabbed at her skirt and she gave you a tight slap!" "Your cheek had gone red like a tomato" "You looked so cute!" "Really, Akash, I can't tell you how nice it is to meet you!" "One moment, one moment." "You're making a mistake" "His name is not Akash." "It's Meet" "If he isn't Akash, I'm not any Pooja's friend either" "What?" "Yes" "But you're quite interesting" "You?" "What are you doing here?" "Looks like I'm slain!" "Where did you get my address?" "You left the address behind, when you collected the necklace" "Lucky me, right?" "How did you get in?" "The key to your house lies beneath the doormat outside" "You know the outcome of barging into someone's house like this?" "No." "But I'm hoping it will be as beautiful as you are" "As for the rest, it's all in your hands" "And suppose I hand you over to the cops?" "I've come to hand myself over to you." "You can do what you want to" "As far as I can guess, you won't do that" "You believe so much in me?" "In you." "And in the self" "Maybe you don't know any Pooja... but this brother of Pooja you will get to know and even love" "How am I to believe you?" "What if you flash a knife and rob me?" "I'm here to have myself robbed" "But you can search me, if you wish to" "Not so soon" "Wait a little" "Sweet is the fruit of patience." "Very sweet" ""When we secretly meet on the roof..."" ""we'll play the lovegame"" ""When we secretly meet on the roof..."" ""we'll play the lovegame"" ""Everything else won't matter..."" ""love will remain the thing that is main"" ""When we secretly meet on the roof..."" ""we'll play the lovegame"" ""Everything else won't matter..."" ""love will remain the thing that is main"" ""On the roof, in the rain"" ""Don't play truant." "Listen to me"" ""You must know how it hurts to stay away from you"" ""How can I listen to you?"" ""We had better stay apart for a few days"" ""Smile like that and you'll drive me crazy..."" ""how will I find any peace?"" ""My pining clearly shows, I'm feeling just the same"" ""On the roof, in the rain"" ""On the roof, in the rain"" ""What if someone spots us here?"" ""Think of what it might lead to"" ""Lovers are never bothered about the outcome"" ""Once they've made up their minds, that is the thing they do"" ""Don't touch me like this..."" ""it awakens a pain"" ""There's no loss." "There's everything to gain"" ""On the roof, in the rain"" ""On the roof, in the rain"" ""When we secretly meet on the roof..."" ""we'll play the lovegame"" ""Everything else won't matter..."" ""love will remain the thing that is main"" ""On the roof, in the rain"" ""On the roof, in the rain"" "My dear Amar!" "This evening..." "To the month that has gone by!" "Let's clink glasses!" "Why are we meeting at your place tonight?" "As usual, my wife is away at the allnight prayer session" "Hey Meet, did you have the biryani?" "I had it made just the second day!" "Don't tell me!" "No common biryani!" "It was a royal chickenbiryani!" "For a few days, I thought I wouldn't even land peanuts, forget biryani!" "I'm glad nobody fed you milk." "Listen!" "And three weeks ago there came into my life a girl..." "I couldn't even have dreamed of" "Look like chicken has it made!" "What was it with you, Prem?" "Late maybe, but firm and great" "Two weeks ago, she came into my life like the Spring" "If you see my girl, you're going to be left openmouthed!" "And if you see my girl, your tongue will touch your knees!" "If you see my girl... your tongues and hearts will lie at her feet" "Really?" "So let's see whose girl is more beautiful" "Openmouthed...?" "Blown out of your brains?" "Is she your girl?" "No doubts" "So which one is mine?" "How's this possible?" "Your girl and my girl look alike!" "One minute, one minute!" "I got it!" "Must be twin sisters!" "Double roles, you know." "Oh yes!" "Thank God!" "I had heard about twins." "Where did the triplets spring from?" "My girl's name is Monica" "Utter your buddy's girlfriend's name with respect." "Else, I'll kill you" "Thank you, Prem." "Why're you thanking me?" "Because I'm Monica's mate." "She's mine" "Monica belongs neither to you nor him." "She's mine!" "We're having an affair for the last two weeks" "What?" "You scoundrel!" "You try to seduce my girlfriend?" "Prem, I always knew you are in the habit of staring at people's plates" "That you'd attack my plate, I never could imagine!" "The two of you are making a mistake." "Actually, Monica's in love with me" "She spoke a few words with you out of pity... and you imagine a cosy time with her?" "Listen to this carefully!" "Monica dances only to my tune!" "Bandmaster, skip the music or I'll bust you!" "Try it." "I'm not wearing bangles!" "Really...?" "You, Monica...?" "Here?" "Why not?" "When I can steal your hearts... can't I steal the key to Prem's house?" "Out to bell the cats, weren't you?" "Now put your tails down and quietly take a seat" "What do you want to say?" "Talk softly" "Why do you men always yell so much?" "This is exactly how you guys were yelling at Bandstand the other night" "And I heard it all." "What?" "Yes." "Your plans of eating biryani, instead of lentilcurry" "Your plans of cheating on your wives" "I then made enquiries about where you live and so on and so forth" "And then I made the plan of trapping the three suckers who wanted biryani" "I first went to Meet's showroom" "Under the pretext of exchanging the necklace" "And just as I had planned it, he lost his heart to me" "I then went to Amar's clinic" "To show him the pain in my gums." "And to become a pain in his neck" "And finally, I opened an account in Prem's bank" "An account that would forever keep milking his own account" "You mean, you have played with our real lust...?" "With our love...?" "Yes!" "You were dying to quit the lentilcurry at home... and eat the biryani outside, weren't you?" "If you guys don't want me to go to your wives... and show them the bill of your meal..." "I must have a million rupees each from you by tomorrow evening" "A million?" "I wouldn't give you ten cents!" "Yes!" "If you stand at the signal with a begging bowl... we still won't give you any alms!" "What say, Amar?" "Yes!" "All right." "In that case, I'll wait here to meet Geeta" "She's a woman who worships her husband's picture" "When she sees this picture of yours with me... you'll be the one at the signal with a beggingbowl, not me" "Why haven't you given a thought to modelling?" "You're very photogenic." "What have you done, Prem?" "Not even an ass would let anyone take such a photo of his!" "You're among the list of the asses too" "What...?" "Take a look" "If Prem can become a model, you can surely become a film star" "Look at the light in your face." "Monica... tell me that you haven't taken my pictures!" "Please!" "When your wife kills you... this is the picture I'll have published in the newspapers the next day" "Please don't show our wives these photos!" "We'd have given you the money if we had it" "But we just don't have the money!" "But your wives have all the money" "Although you work in a bank, you live in such a luxurious house" "Even if the three of you are absolute idiots... you have married very wisely" "I'll wait for the three of you at Bandstand tomorrow" "If you don't show up with the money, be sure..." "Could you give me your carkeys?" "What for?" "I won't come in a rickshaw to collect such a huge amount, will I?" "That won't look nice?" "Out on the streets, aren't we?" "We're doomed!" "We were quietly enjoying the lentilcurry at home... and your idea of biryani made a bone stick in our throats!" "So you're blaming me for it?" "As if you're the only one in trouble" "We're all in a soup!" "Shit." "Shit!" "If Bindiya gets those pictures, she's going to rip me apart!" "Rip you apart?" "Before that Monica's going to make mincemeat out of us!" "Not even the dogs will eat us!" "I haven't tasted anything either" "And I have to foot such a hefty bill." "You mean you didn't...?" "Yes!" "From that lovenest, I didn't get a chicken." "A got a big egg!" "She said, "Wait just a little more"" ""Sweet is the fruit of patience" "Very sweet"" "Which means we haven't had anything to eat or drink... and the damage caused was worth 3 million!" "Even if I save my pocketmoney everyday..." "I won't be able to put together such a huge amount in my lifetime!" "I only work in the bank." "And the bank doesn't belong to my fatherinlaw!" "But whatever I have belongs to my fatherinlaw" "I suggest you keep her engaged in a conversation" "I'll wring her neck from behind." "No, no!" "Let's put her on skewers and grill her on a low flame!" "One minute." "We'll give out a contract for her killing" "And I'll instruct the hitman to torture her to death!" "Know what?" "Let's pay her quietly" "Why didn't you say that earlier?" "Why did "Who Wants To Become A Millionaire" go off the air?" "If I don't have the money, Monica will bring me out on the streets" "What are you doing on the terrace?" "Haven't you gone for a bath?" "If I had the money, I'd take a holy dip!" "What...?" "Nothing." "I'm going for a bath" "Darling, can I have a cup of tea?" "You take this for a restaurant?" "You go to the loo after a cup of tea every day" "But you've had ten since this morning and you still won't go to the toilet" "How can I feel lighter...?" "She's choked up mine!" "What...?" "Nothing, holy mother!" "Sin!" "Sheer sin!" "Here comes the scandalsheet" "Another robbery at a senior citizen's house" "And this time, they robbed a 60year old of 13,00,000 rupees!" "Read on..." "The police believe an entire gang is involved" "They first ring the doorbell, gain entry into the house... and clean out the place!" "Look at the guts of the gang" "They leave behind their symbol after committing the theft!" "A goldencoloured glove." "Can you imagine!" "Mummy, I'm going to the clinic." "So must I offer you a ceremony?" "Tell Bindiya I'll be late this evening." "All right, I will" "She's going to a kittyparty after shopping and will be late too" "Please make sure you lock the doors securely enough" "Why?" "Sinful times, you see." "Worry about yourself!" "I'll leave now." "My respects" "My feet are down there" "Sweetheart!" "See what I've got for your breakfast" "What happened?" "Why the long face?" "What will I tell you?" "Whom will you tell, if not me?" "Forget it." "Leave me alone" "All right." "Whom will I tell, if not you...?" "I've received a letter from Ramlalji." "Ramlalji?" "Yes." "Thirty years ago, when my father first came to Mumbai... he had just a tenrupee bill in his pocket" "Ramlalji then gave him a house, food and a job" "He gave him support." "All that for just ten rupees?" "Hear me out first!" "Before dying, father told me..." ""My son, no matter how many opportunities God gives you..."" ""to repay Ramlalji's favours, it's too little"" "And today I received a letter from him" "His daughter has to be married and the inlaws demand a dowry" "For the first time, he has asked me for help" "You tell me." "How will I help him?" "How...?" "What are you doing...?" "We got to help him" "No, Aanchal!" "No!" "I'm not one of those shameless men... who will distribute their wives' money among their own friends" "But whatever I possess is yours too" "No, Aanchal!" "I can never take money from my wife!" "All right." "As you wish" "Father..." "Forgive me, father." "I can't keep the promise I made to you" "Sweetheart!" "Please don't cry!" "You will have to take the money from me!" "How much money has he asked for?" "A million" "What...?" "By this evening" "But I only have half a million at home" "You have a fixed deposit in the bank!" "Really?" "Let's go!" "I'll make the blind old hag sniff at the chloroform and put her to sleep" "Bloody wretch!" "Who is it at this hour?" "Coming... where are my glasses?" "Coming" "Who's this?" "No one" "My glasses...?" "I said I'm coming!" "Who is it?" "The milkman, madam!" "The milkman?" "At this hour?" "Why have you come so late?" "My buffalo woke up a bit late this morning." "That's why!" "Strange buffalo you have!" "Wait till I open the door" "Milkman!" "What way of selling milk is this?" "Milkman!" "You come at the wrong time and do the wrong things?" "I'll make a yogurtshake out of you!" "Where...?" "God!" "I've never asked You for anything till today" "But I ask You today." "Do something... that makes Laxmi (money) Lie at my feet" "God!" "I asked for Laxmi." "Not Mahalaxmi!" "She does nothing except falling at my feet!" "I have a small request to make." "Make it quick" "The social organisation I'm working with... has been collecting donations for the homeless children" "Where will I give donations from?" "You don't have to give anything" "We have collected the money" "It's just a small attempt to give the children a new life" "How small an attempt is it?" "12,05,350 rupees" "12,05,350 rupees...?" "Yes, and who better than you to deposit the money in a bank?" "You will deposit the money for me, won't you?" "Me...?" "Great!" "You're a boon from God!" "You're the succour of my life!" "You are my life itself..." "What are you doing?" "Get up!" "By giving me this responsibility" "Forget it!" "Forget the money from today!" "What?" "I mean, stop worrying about it!" "I'll put it in the right place!" "Okay" "I'm leaving for a discourse." "Very well." "Go on" "The bag, darling...?" "Sorry" "Sorry, kids." "If I have to escape being rendered homeless... you'll have to remain homeless for some more days." "Sorry again" "Chicken, all the money's now in this bag" "If it goes missing, I'm going to clean you up" "Clean me up?" "If the washingmachine in your house conks out..." "I'll send my motherinlaw over." "No washingmachine washes better!" "I got myself washed up too." "But a fake one" "I tore up my clothes, put on a makeup and went home... and said..." "What could I do?" "There were four of them, and I was all alone" "They took away a million." "They left behind 2,05,350 rupees" "Looks like they needed the million." "Don't worry about the money!" "Thank God, you're hale and hearty!" "My prayers have borne fruit!" "I'll fast even more as a thanks to God" "What...?" "Yes" "So you're going to starve for some more months?" "This gun called Monica has killed my hunger altogether!" "Look!" "Monica's car!" "See?" "How relaxed she is?" "Obviously, with suckers like us around" "We've brought the money" "Why isn't she saying anything?" "Who killed her?" "Not I. Why ask me?" "Why should we believe you?" "Prem, don't act too smart" "Why don't you ask him?" "He said, let's wring her neck!" "Look!" "Rope marks around her neck." "Yes" "Amar...?" "Why are you guys suspecting me?" "I will kill her, my foot!" "I've never swatted a fly yet" "He's right" "Photos?" "She was supposed to give us the photographs" "Yes." "Must be in her bag" "Damn, not here" "I say, let's leave the corpse alone and get out of here." "Let's go, Amar" "Where the hell...?" "You want the police to find the corpse in my car... so that I go to the gallows, right?" "Why do you want to trap us?" "All of us are trapped" "None of us will move until we dump this corpse" "Whatever." "Do it fast" "Alms" "Goodness me!" "One beauty, three slinks" "What a scene!" "Look, we are in a hurry" "Hero, how can you leave without offering me something?" "You must give me something." "What say, baby?" "Well, doesn't she talk?" "What's wrong with her?" "Nothing wrong... she's unwell" "Let me see..." "No need." "Amar, give some money" "What the hell...?" "Give some change" "God bless you." "May you live long" "Long...?" "Live" "See you" "I'm scared." "Chicken!" "If you talk, I'll kill you" "I don't want to be jailed" "Damn!" "Dr Kapadia has seen us" "What the hell were you doing?" "As it is he thinks you and I are carrying on" "Shut up, guys" "Over here" "Let's go!" "Now what?" "Go home, quietly" "And remember." "We've never met Monica, and I don't know you guys" "I don't want to see your faces either." "I rue the day I met you again!" "That entourage has seen poor Monica off" "Whatever, just forget it" "If God wills, we won't have trouble again" "What's going on here?" "Nothing... nothing, sir" "We came here for some fresh air, sir" "You love fresh air?" "How about some fresh air inside the police station?" "You have seen much of the sea... let me help you look around the lockup" "What happened?" "Why are you guys petrified?" "Oh no, sir... we're just..." "You think I don't know what you guys are upto?" "You mean sir, you know?" "Sonny, try hard as you will, but you can't fool Inspector Sikander" "Believe us Inspector, we haven't done anything" "It's midnight and you pulled over for booze." "How dare you deny it?" "Booze...?" "No, sir we aren't drunk." "You can check if you want" "I swear it on my mother, sir" "Forget booze, he doesn't even drink milk" "We don't do things that the law doesn't permit" "No way" "Never even try" "Go away" "Stop!" "Remember another thing" "There are three things in life... that remain crooked forever." "You can't help it" "A dog's tail, the neighbouring country's intention... and the neck wrung by Sikander" "Get lost" "That was close." "Had the Inspector arrived five minutes earlier... he'd have..." "I'm still trembling" "Why didn't Monica get the pictures?" "Hardly matters" "Monica is no more, so why be afraid of the pictures?" "Amar is right, Meet" "Unless we get the pictures, it is a matter of worry" "Yes." "Right" "Bloody wife!" "What is it?" "Come home at once!" "What...?" "What happened?" "Come home, I'll tell you." "And get those rascals along too" "What happened?" "Aanchal was never so fiery" "She also asked me to get the rascals along" "What?" "Yes" "Rascals?" "Yes." "She was so enraged... as if she has seen me with Monica..." "Damn!" "Did Monica deliver all those pictures home?" "What are you talking?" "Actually darling, the thing is..." "Don't call me darling" "You thought I'll sit twiddling my thumbs?" "You thought I love you so much that I'd even ignore your mistakes, eh?" "Isn't that what you thought?" "But you have no idea." "A woman can hate you... as much as she loves you." "And when the time comes... she can even take the form of Bellona" "And you guys!" "Shame on you" "Not friends, you are monsters" "It's so disgusting!" "I know, you guys must've mislead him" "Oh no, not I. Prem is the mastermind" "You're lying!" "Bindu?" "Here?" "All three of us are here." "Geeta?" "Did you think we wives have no idea what our husbands are upto?" "We know every thing." "What...?" "Yes, we knew that you guys have been plotting since last month" "And if the two of you think that I will let my husband... spend the night of his birthday with you guys, you are wrong" "What...?" "Birthday?" "Birthday?" "Birthday?" "Birthday" "Had you guys scared, didn't we?" "Since the three of you have started roaming around like before... we wives thought we'd also come together" "That's why we worked out a plan to celebrate Meet's birthday together" "Meet's birthday, and Monica's deathday" "Let's go out and celebrate." "We'll eat Biryani" "Biryani?" ""Sweetheart, don't let go of my hand"" ""Come near me..." "let's dance"" ""Sweetheart, don't let go of my hand"" ""Come near me..." "let's shake it"" ""I'm not going home so soon"" ""I'm going to dance and make you dance too"" ""My heart won't heed"" ""It's beyond reasoning, my love"" ""It knows not my pain"" ""I think it's going to kill me"" ""Don't torment me, don't provide an alibi"" ""Sweetheart..."" ""O darling"" ""Sweetheart, don't let go of my hand"" ""Come near me..." "let's shake it"" ""What's the matter?" "Why do you seem so lost?"" ""Though your eyes are trained on me, you are targetting someone else"" ""Ecstasy is all around..." "so what makes you listless?"" ""Come into my arms, I plead"" ""Do not go away, do not torment me"" ""Sweetheart..."" ""O darling"" ""Sweetheart, don't let go of my hand"" ""Come near me..." "let's shake it"" ""I'm not going home so soon"" ""I'm going to dance and make you dance too"" "I can't find mummy" "She is in the bathroom..." "I mean, in the bedroom" "Go and untie her..." "I mean, go and meet her" "Look her up, I'll be there" "Hurry up" "Looks like she found the old hag" "What happened, mummyji?" "Who did this to you?" "The milkman did." "Milkman?" "Why?" "But we've already paid him." "Ass" "Ass!" "It was a thief disguised as a milkman" "But I boxed the scoundrel so hard, he's not going to forget it" "May he rot!" "May his seven generations to come go childless" "Mummyji, if one generation goes childless... where will the other six come from?" "It's not funny" "I'll call the cops right away, mummy." "Let's do it" "No!" "Why call the police?" "What are you saying?" "The thief was so cruel with mummy... he even robbed the house." "But he didn't take the money" "What?" "How do you know?" "I mean, let's check the house out before we call the police" "He's smart, sometimes" "You're still here?" "Move it!" "Gosh!" "There's more money now than before" "What!" "What kind of a thief was he?" "Instead of robbing, he's left money for us" "Let me explain." "The burglar did intend to steal... but the moment he saw mummy, he was enlightened" "Her blessed touch made him realise that... he must quit the path of crime and evil... and take to the path of truth and righteousness" "So he even left behind the money that he must've stolen elsewhere" "Amazing, mummy" "You are a goddess" "If we call the cops in, they will confiscate the money" "I'd better call the cops." "One minute" "The previous idea is better" "My dear, keep the money in and lock the safe." "Why call the cops?" "What the hell have you worn, Geeta?" "Why?" "Don't I look sexy in it?" "More than sexy" "So let's make love and usher in the bloody Spring, honey" "Ghost!" "Ghost!" "Ghost?" "Where is it?" "Over there" "Only you and me, honey." "No one else" "Come on" "Ghost!" "Ghost!" "Where is the ghost?" "Over there" "What's wrong with you tonight?" "Whose ghost are you seeing?" "Monica's..." "I mean, nobody's" "Then come on, honey!" "Not tonight, darling" "Let's usher in the Spring later." "The gardener is unwell tonight" "Honey, this...?" "Not as precious as the joys you've given me" "Still, it's a small attempt to tell you that... you are invaluable to me" "May I ask you something?" "If you were to find out that I've done some wrong... would you be able to forgive me?" "Let me check who is here to ruin our romantic moments" "Is Meet Mehta in?" "What for...?" "Call him." "Inspector Sikander wants him at the police station" "What...?" "At the police station?" "Talk!" "Or I'll kill you" "We'll tell you, sir" "Take their statements" "Come with me" "Last night, you guys were at Band Stand" "And we found a dead girl there" "Have you seen this girl before?" "Tell me." "Oh no, sir" "It's too beautiful a face to forget" "Who was the poor girl, Inspector?" "She was Monica." "I know" "He means... how do you know that she is Monica?" "I mean, was" "We found the driving licence on her." "Yes... she was fond of driving." "He means, how did she die?" "Accident?" "Someone brutally strangled her to death" "We searched Monica's house" "Any clues?" "No, sir." "Heera Villa, Andheri" "We enquired everyone around there, in vain, sir" "Search her house again lt'll only lead us to the assassin." "Yes sir" "Is it hot inside here?" "No sir, not at all" "It's cool" "When a bomb explodes, it's a bang" "When a trouser is ripped, the threads come off" "And when someone is shit scared inside an airconditioned room... he sweats" "You may go." "I'll call you back if I need you" "Call us back?" "Okay sir, we're ready to help you" "Even God can't help the assassin now" "Wherever he is, he can't escape me for long" "I think the swine suspects us." "If he finds evidence against us... he'll make sure we go to the gallows." "The photographs!" "I told you... the photographs will someday lead us to the gallows." "Shit!" "Shit!" "You will send us to the gallows." "Bloody shitshit!" "Back there... you were shitting from your mouth." "What else could I do?" "Monica's corpse made me shit in my pants" "When did Monica pitch up at Andheri?" "She was at Love Nest, in Bandra" "I think her lovenest is where she used to meet the three of us" "Which means, the photographs are there" "Let's get there before Sikander and destroy those photographs" "No, dude." "We can't go there in broad daylight" "Let's go at night." "As of now... we go back to work, behave as if nothing happened lt'll send the signal that every thing is normal... to the tracker, if there is any" "We'll meet up in the evening" "What the hell?" "It won't zip up" "What's up?" "You look so tired, Mr Prem" "Forget me." "Why are you late?" "Of late, I too go to bed late... and wake up late." "Thanks to you" "Bloody turkey" "Sir...?" "Here?" "That's my question." "What are you doing here?" "I open them here every day." "Accounts" "Sheer coincidence" "You refused to identify Monica... and you were the one who opened her bank account" "I can't remember every client's face, sir" "It's a face too beautiful to forget." "Didn't you say that?" "You won't forget my face, I hope?" "Meet?" "Damn!" "Why is the faggot here?" "Hide, Kapadia" "Meet called up to say that you guys are coming over." "What's the matter?" "Your daddy, Sikander, was at the bank." "What...?" "He's got to know that Monica had an account in my bank" "He found her cheque book" "Cool down!" "Nothing to worry..." "God, I'm scared!" "Zip up, will you?" "I've been trying since morning" "You try it." "Let me" "You?" "Here?" "I'm here to meet my friend" "Ever thought who'd come to meet the two of you in jail?" "What's the problem now?" "I told you, we're not meeting before evening" "What's the big problem?" "Welcome" "The third monkey was just missing" "Sir...?" "Here?" "Three things in life come uninvited" "Death, loose motions... and yours truly" "Get the appointment file" "What are you doing, sir?" "Do you have a search warrant?" "Monica Singh." "5:30 pm, 14th November" "You will also tell me that... so many patients come to you, and you can't remember all of them" "Look sir, these little things aren't enough... to prove that we have something to do with Monica's murder" "By coincidence, your memory too seems to be a bit weak" "Well, let me remind you" "The necklace is beautiful, so is the case" "Mehta Jewellers" "What a coincidence!" "Monica met all three of you" "And none of you remembers her face" "It is a coincidence" "Is it also a coincidence that you guys have been showered with coincidences?" "Could be a matter of coincidence, sir" "Then regrettably for you, it is sheer coincidence... that inspector Sikander does not believe in coincidences" "Start counting your days, guys" "Because, I'll send you to the gallows soon" "And it's going to be on the basis of evidence, not coincidence" "If this hangman finds evidence, we are deadmeat" "Let's go to Love Nest and find the photographs, at once" "Come on" "Monica used to keep the duplicate key under the doormat" "Found it" "Come on in" "You go there..." "you, there" "Gotcha!" "I found them!" "What did you find?" "Photographs" "Chicken!" "My darling!" "You've saved our lives!" "Sikander can harm us no more" "Sikander!" "Boo!" "Check the door" "What seesee?" "Let me see" "See Sikander" "Scoot!" "Switch on the lights" "Looks like someone was here before us" "An assassin always returns... to make sure he hasn't left clues behind" "That's his mistake" "Search thoroughly." "Right, sir" "Honey, you didn't call even once since morning" "Why did the cops call you?" "To pass time." "It was a mistake" "When are you coming?" "Know what?" "We've planned to hang out at the Hanging Garden" "I'm also hanging out with my friends." "I'll call you back" "Honey!" "Take a look, go" "Careful" "Found some papers, sir" "Stop droning." "What is it?" "I had dropped a photograph" "What...?" "Stand back there!" "Now what?" "Prem, call on Monica's number." "Hang on" "Monica is not home." "Shut up" "Tell me." "Call up" "Engage Sikander in a conversation." "All right" "Sarvodaya Video Library?" "What?" "Do you have "Reshma's Beauty"?" "What nonsense!" ""Naked Beauty" will do" "He hung up." "Meet is inside!" "Found nothing, sir" "Let's go" "Damn!" "He has locked us out!" "Now what?" "I need to piss" "Shut up!" "Wanna piss, eh?" "Can't you see we're trapped?" "What am I going to tell Geeta... when she asks where I was all night?" "Forget Geeta." "What about my wife?" "I need to piss!" "Chicken!" "Piss into my pocket" "He wants to piss!" "Don't scream." "We're stuck here" "Go and piss in the flower pot" "Who are you, sir?" "I'm the one who sent Monica to heaven" "If I wish, I can arrange for your journey too" "You mean, you...?" "Right" "I killed Monica" "The fool tried to betray me" "But I'm damn sure, you guys won't act so stupid" "What do you want from us?" "Three million, that you were supposed to give Monica" "But you have only two days to organise the money." "Only two days" "Two days?" "Yes" "I know you guys won't disappoint me" "Because the pictures for which you have been hanging here all night... that's only a piece of trailer." "I have the entire film with me" "Wanna see?" "Look" "See?" "You guys carried her corpse with so much care" "You can keep that picture for your album at home" "I have the negatives, I can make as many copies as I wish" "Two days" "Else, these pictures will go to Sikander" "And you guys will go to Monica" "Now stop hanging there and get cracking." "Move" "Damn!" "Wasn't Sikander too much to handle?" "Now this blackmailer transpires, to make us dance around like monkeys" "I wonder what sin of ours is showing up" "What?" "It's the sin we recently committed" "Tell me something." "Do we look like idiots?" "Someone or the other transpires out of nowhere and blackmails us" "Not their fault." "We damned ourselves" "I think this man is very dangerous" "Only a ruthless assassin can murder a beauty like Monica" "I tell you, let's give him the money and get him off our backs" "Oh really?" "As if we have money inside our underwear" "Oh yes, the money is inside your underwear..." "I mean, inside your safe" "Go home and get it." "Go." "You will have to steal again" "Steal again?" "That house?" "Out of question" "Hey listen..." "You must steal" "What?" "Get on with your drink" "You must steal." "Yes, you must" "So that my motherinlaw gets to smash me again" "I'd rather hang myself, or have Sikander shoot me... than steal into that house and get whacked by my motherinlaw" "If you are so eager, why don't you guys go there and steal?" "Oh well, so that your motherinlaw gets to smash us, eh?" "Why not?" "No, we don't want your ideas." "Listen to me" "Amar, take your wife and her mother out for a movie tonight" "There won't be anyone in the house and I and Meet will swipe the safe" "What are you thinking of?" "That... your ideas are rosy initially" "But eventually, it rips us of even our underclothes" "It's not happening this time" "We'll steal the money tonight and give it to the blackmailer" "Then we'll have the photographs... that Sikander can use to send us to the gallows" "That's right." "Come what may, we'll ensure our safety" ""I've Found Someone" is going houseful." "Then let's go back to our house" "No, we might find someone there." "What?" "I mean, we'll find tickets of some other movie" "There's an educational movie going on. "Night Queen"" "Let's watch it" "I think there's no one inside." "Empty, you mean?" "Good." "We'll empty the empty house." "Open it, quick" "The door is open, too" "The door to good fortune has opened, I think." "Let's get in" "Come on" "It's locked." "I told the ass to keep the door open" "How do we get in now?" "Your ideas are dangerous." "I quit" "Trust me." "We'll climb down the roof" "Yes, the roof" "You offer us popcorn and show us soft porn!" "Idiot!" "Bindu, shut your eyes and follow me" "You go first" "Why me?" "I'm younger to you... by three months!" "After you" "Try again." "I am" "Try the other keys" "What are you doing?" "Give me support." "I can't" "Let go of my leg!" "And grab what?" "I'll fall..." "Educational film, he said!" "Was it education?" "My head's reeling." "I need some fresh air" "I'm going to the terrace" "Go to the bedroom, I'll go and have some bittergourd juice" "You will make it yourself?" "Sure" "Does it take so long to open a safe?" "I took them out for a movie..." "I kept the door open, and you guys haven't done the job yet" "But I had given you the combination, didn't I?" "I think I'll have to do it myself." "Move" "I'll never burgle with you again" "Passing time, eh?" "Get her off you" "Cut the crap and help me out." "Old hag, let him go" "Else, I'll count till three." "One, two..." "Who switched off the lights?" "Stop laughing!" "I can't open it." "Did the old hag change the combination?" "Where are you?" "Bloody diaper boys!" "Aren't you ashamed?" "Which gang do you belong to?" "Diaper gang?" "Gotcha!" "What are you waiting for?" "Hit the witch" "Hit her, will you?" "My baby is hurt" "Bag?" "To hell with your golden glove!" "You think you're a real burglar?" "If Undertaker's mother arrives, she'll break our bones" "May I say something, friends?" "Now get lost" "Thief!" "Thief!" "Shut it!" "Shut the door!" "Rechristen your gang to Ratbags" "Scoot!" "Move!" "Run!" "To hell with them!" "Scoot" "Nobody can mess with me!" "Amar, my friend..." "What happened?" "Easy" "Last night's thrashing still hurts" "Is the money safe?" "That's what we came to ask you." "Where did you hide the money?" "I did?" "You guys stole the money, so you must have it" "What rot!" "Forget stealing, we barely managed to escape your motherinlaw" "What?" "We thought, in the melee... you must've stolen the money." "No way." "I gave you the money... and sent you guys away myself." "What?" "We don't have the money." "What?" "Then who has the money?" "Come in, Inspector" "What are you guys doing here?" "Guys, what am I doing here?" "He's my husband." "And they are his friends." "Meet and Prem" "After the incident last night, I had to call the Inspector" "Great." "Strange coincidence" "Sometimes I feel you guys have longer arms than the law" "The police reach the spot after the incident" "But you guys are already there." "I don't understand" "Those concerned have understood" "Give me the details of the burglary, madam" "Last night when I, my husband and my mother returned home... after watching a movie, the thieves were already inside" "I think there were two of them" "Strange" "Two thieves." "Your husband also has two friends" "What do you mean?" "I'd rather show you something" "Constable" "Sir, he's the one" "Last night, he gave us the money and asked us to leave quickly" "What...?" "Apart from us... there were two other thieves" "And they were your husband's friends." "Meet and Prem" "But your husband committed a mistake" "He took the real burglars for Meet and Prem and gave them the money" "What made you think that I'm going to believe... your baseless allegations against my husband?" "I trust my husband implicitly." "And I can't stand his humiliation" "But..." "My husband is my Lord" "And suspecting the Lord is a sin" "Not only him, I also respect the ones... he has embraced as friends" "Ladies, you are defending them." "But you don't know them" "No one knows my husband better than me" "On the basis of a couple of thieves' statement you can suspect my husband" "Not I" "All right" "But till the investigation is over, the money stays with us" "Whatever." "But please go away from here now" "I haven't come across a scoundrel yet who could beat us" "I admit, we're evil" "But somewhere along the way, we must have done at least one noble deed... because of which our wives stood by us today" "Our wives are so nice" "And that makes me realise that I'm rotten than ever" "Forgive me, friends." "It's my mistake" "Had I not provoked you, you guys would not have been in trouble today" "I knew it since college days that you were the biggest fool ever" "However, if it is stupidity to be your friend... than I'd rather be a stupid all the way, friend" "The things that happened..." "we are all in the wrong" "It's been halfhour and Aanchal hasn't called yet" "I'm badly missing my satellite" "Mr Meet, call for you." "Go on." "Must be Aanchal" "Honey, I was badly missing you" "Of course, you must." "If you make the mistake of forgetting me... you will be history" "You?" "I am" "I just called to remind you that this is your last night" "Tomorrow morning, be there at Band Stand with the money" "Else, Sikander will get the death warrants for the three of you" "Listen..." "What happened?" "It was Aanchal, right?" "Then who was it?" "The blackmailer." "What?" "Yes." "It was the blackmailer" "He told me to reach Band Stand with the money tomorrow morning, else..." "But what are we going to do?" "We don't have the money" "One way out." "We'll go down on our knees" "Let's ask for a few days more." "What if he doesn't agree?" "Then we'll face the punishment for our sins" "What...?" "You mean, tomorrow morning our wives will find out the truth?" "Yes" "Buddies, let's go home" "The few moments we have, let's spend them with our wives" "Tomorrow we might be homeless, and these moments too will be gone" "I know I have committed a sin... that might take an entire lifetime to atone" "But Lord, please bless me if You can... so that I can save my home from being shattered tomorrow" "What are you doing?" "Don't touch my feet" "I know that it enrages you" "I'm not enraged this time, Geeta" "Don't treat me like God" "When you'll realise that I'm no God, that I'm only a human being... it'll break your heart" "My heart belongs to you." "And one can't break his own heart" "You look very tired" "Go to bed." "I'll say my prayers and come" "Aanchal..." "Where are you?" "Honey, where were you?" "I've been trying your number since long" "Besides, you didn't call me even once" "I don't know how I forgot" "I'll be right back" "Forgot?" "Life is so short, isn't it?" "And in this short life... every moment that I spent with you... every word that has come to your lips... every expression on your beautiful face..." "I don't want to miss" "Just a second back..." "A second?" "Even half a second distance away from you tears me into two halves" ""My heart always belonged to you..."" ""I shall even give up my life for you"" ""My heart always belonged to you..."" ""I shall even give up my life for you"" ""I won't ever betray you, my love"" ""I swear by God, my love"" ""By God"" ""Life would take this new turn;..."" ""I never ever imagined"" ""I don't believe it"" ""Oh, what has it come to"" ""How could I be disloyal to you?"" ""I seek justice"" ""Forgive me"" ""This much mercy I seek"" ""My heart always belonged to you..."" ""I shall even give up my life for you"" ""I won't ever betray you, my love"" ""I was carried away, I was insane"" ""Curse me!" "I ignored your simplicity"" ""I wish to love you more than ever before"" ""At your feet, I want to lay Heaven and Earth"" ""Snatch away my peace..."" ""snatch away my joys..."" ""let me have all your sorrows"" ""My heart always belonged to you..."" ""I shall even give up my life for you"" ""I won't ever betray you, my love"" "I've always been harsh with you" "Because, cigarettes and liquor killed my father" "I don't want to lose you" ""My tears tell my story"" ""Please don't consider my tears worthless"" ""My tears shall wash away the stains..."" ""and paint them again in the hues of love"" ""Please stay with me..." "I shall err no more"" ""I shall never be unfair to you"" ""My heart always belonged to you..."" ""I shall even give up my life for you"" ""I won't ever betray you, my love"" ""I swear by God, my love"" ""By God..."" ""my heart always belonged to you..."" ""I shall even give up my life for you"" ""I won't ever betray you, my love"" "Out with the money, kids" "Actually, we don't have the money" "What?" "Bastards!" "If you act smart, I'll shoot all of you" "Please listen to us at least..." "We didn't bring the money because we don't have that much amount right now" "We really tried our best but in vain" "Then are you here to swat flies?" "We came to make a request" "Please give us some more time." "Look, we're not running away" "We'll certainly give you your money." "Please let us go today" "Bastards..." "Stay normal, okay?" "If anyone acts smart, I'll riddle him" "What's going on here?" "Why?" "Is parking here illegal?" "You're talking too much" "Who's that?" "He's our friend." "Just arrived" "We're showing him around" "There are many other places in Mumbai worth showing" "Wonder why your car always seems to stop here" "Alms!" "Goodness!" "The three slinks!" "Again" "Who's this toughie?" "And why isn't the pretty lady with you today?" "Have you seen them with some girl?" "Absolutely, sir" "Was this the girl?" "Absolutely" "Well?" "Screwed, aren't you?" "You guys are going to the gallows." "No one can save you now" "No sir, we didn't kill Monica." "This guy did" "No" "Get off" "You guys, too" "Race!" "Or, I'll blow your brains out" "Faster!" "You can kill us later." "Sikander won't spare us" "We must surrender..." "Cut the crap!" "Or, I'll riddle you!" "C'mon, speed up" "Try to understand me." "Leave the gun" "Try to understand me..." "Leave the gun, bastard!" "Let the gun go, bastard!" "We must surrender" "What have you done, Prem?" "Only he could prove us innocent" "We're all dead now." "I didn't mean to kill him" "It was an accident." "Watch it, Meet!" "I told you!" "Why?" "Why did you do this?" "Such betrayal!" "Why?" "What was lacking in our love?" "No, nothing was lacking." "We were the ones who were flawed" "We couldn't realise, we failed to understand your love" "We didn't kill Monica" "Whether the world believes it or not, if the three of you believe it... it'll lessen our regret a great deal at the time of punishment" "Whether you killed Monica or not... but you have certainly killed our trust in you" "How can I lay my trust in you again?" "Looks like the shock has driven our wives insane" "Monica...?" "Are you alive?" "Very much" "You guys thought you were tigers and tried to hunt a goat" "But this goat turned you into scapegoats" "Which means...?" "Which means... there are three things in life that need to be tackled by crooked means" "Stealing butter, evicting encroachers... and ridding married men of their philandering ways" "And we three wives designed the plan to rid this merrymaking" "But honey, we would never have been successful without your help" "My help?" "Yes." "Remember when I called you for the last time that night... you had forgotten to disconnect your phone" "And this satellite of yours heard everything" "I tell you!" "That's the state of our marriages at the moment" "If we can't have love and fun from our wives... why don't we seek it outside and have a blast?" "When Aanchal told me and Geeta, we just couldn't believe it" "We had cried ourselves sick" "You are women of the 21st century." "Don't weep like medieval women" "Look Aanchal, I'm your friend." "And I won't give you wrong suggestions" "I know the three of you don't wish to break your marriages" "But it is very important to teach your husbands a lesson" "Brother Sikander, it's you!" "Yes, I arrived two days before schedule" "On second thoughts, I've arrived on time" "What Monica says is right" "Amar has never seen me" "It's an advantage." "To teach those three a lesson..." "I'll design such a plot that they won't ever dare to make that mistake again" "The three of you will have to help me" "Their plight might melt you down" "But you must make yourselves stronger" "If you are game, then I promise... that I shall bring them back on the right track" "We are with you" "And Monica's assassin?" "Who was that?" "Inspector Bapat" "Inspector, he too?" "Yes" "I helped them..." "You guys tried to betray your wives and their love for you" "It's a grave crime" "That's why, the ordeal that you guys have been through... was our plan" "Which means to teach us a lesson... the three of you introduced Monica in our lives and then got us blackmailed" "Then you put on a farce of her death... and set Inspector Sikander behind us like an executioner... so that we die a thousand deaths every moment, all day, all night?" "You had us hung up Monica's house, got us thrashed by Amar's motherinlaw... and made us lament so much that we began hating ourselves" "Just to teach us a lesson, you went to such an extent... that it made our lives miserable" "Thank God you did all that!" "I tell you!" "Scoundrels like us ought to be treated even more badly" "Right." "You were lenient" "You should've blackened our faces and paraded us in public" "But we've learnt our lesson" "Our message to every married man is... to eat lentilcurry at home, and not go seeking chicken outside" "Or, you will end up with a bone stuck in your gullet" "Forgive us" "It's enough that the three of you have realised your mistakes" "Get this very clear" "Ladies, you too" "If men don't like the lentilcurry at home... they have no right either to go seeking chicken outside" "But if you ladies cook chicken at home, sometimes at least... your men will never stray" "That's why Bindiya, send your mummy, my aunt... away on a pilgrimage today itself" "Geeta, you've observed enough fasts" "And Aanchal, stop tethering your husband" "So friends, what have you learnt?" "Fried lentil or chicken, homecooked food is the best" "If you try something outside..." "You will land in a soup" "No, no!" "No girls, no adultery" "No girls, no adultery" "No girls, no adultery" "What...?" "No girls?" "Which means, only men?" "You girls are saved." "My trouser is in distress." "Run!" "Sir, it's not like that." "Stop, sir" "Bloody faggots!" "They are after me." "Boss, wait..."