"As Odin has his Frigg, Idun has her Bragi." "So if Helen meets Anders?" "She will fall in love with Bragi, like she has countless times over thousands of years." "The next girl I see, I'm gonna make my cock her destiny." "Anders, are you in there?" "Ty!" "Hey, messing with the cock of destiny, bro!" "Gaia!" "Listen to me!" "Before it's... too late." "You tell me where she is right now, or I will rip your..." "We need to flee here now." "Before he wakes up!" "You, giant; you, dwarf;" "what's your business here?" "What?" "Well, if Gaia's not a giant, then how can her dad be a giant?" "Clearly, he's not her dad." "We were chosen." "And trained to hunt out the child." "She is Frigg." "Bring her to me, or your friend, Zeb, he die." "Hi." "I'm Odin." "And you, Gaia, are soon to become Frigg, my truly beloved." "I'm serious." "Yes." "Yes, of course you are." "I'm a goddess!" "Yes." "Do I get, like, wings?" "No." "But wings would be really awesome." "That's the domain of fairies." "Ooh, I could be a fairy goddess, flying over the city, spreading pixie dust." "OK, now you're getting fairies and pixies mixed up." "Ooh, can I make rainbows?" "Gaia, we're serious, here you are about to become a goddess." "Yes." "And you are a god!" "Yes." "You don't look like a God." "Yet I am." "Maybe if you grew a beard, you might look more like a god." "Now, see, you've got a beard and you don't look like a god." "I'm a giant, not a God." "You don't look like a giant, either." "Gaia, are you still stoned?" "A little bit." "Excellent!" "But it doesn't matter, because I'm a goddess now and I can do whatever I want!" "And right now I want to paddle in the water!" "Whee!" "I'm a goddess!" "Look at me!" "I can fly!" "I don't think she's quite got her head around this yet." "No, not entirely." "Whoo-hoo!" "Wait!" "We should approach cautiously." "Do what you want." "I'm getting out of these clothes." "OK, whoever did that is paying for a new one." "That will be the giant who came here to kill you." "The one who has taken Zeb hostage." "Stop it." "Stop what?" "Messing with my head." "I'm not messing with your head." "Yeah, you are." "OK, yeah, I am, but only because what you need to know, it messes with your head." "Why would anyone want to kidnap Zeb?" "Eggther will stop at nothing to get to you." "Those Terminator films loosely based on him." "Eggther?" "Is this this made-up giant's name?" "I really wouldn't give him a hard time about his name... he's very sensitive" "Oh, for Christ's sake!" "I am not a goddess, you are not Odin, and you are definitely not a giant, because giants do not exist!" "Uh, this is Derrick." "Not a giant just a very large man." "Do you have any idea what the fucking traffic is like out on that motorway?" "Yes, Derrick..." "I live here." "My lord Odin, I have come." "And he's Thor." "Why can I smell pie?" "That'll be Bryn." "Giant!" "No, no, no, no!" "No!" "No!" "No." "He is a sneaky tiny giant who's come to kill you, my lord!" "No, he's a good giant!" "The only good giant's a dead giant!" "War criminal!" "Thor, listen to me!" "He is one of us!" "He must come to no harm." "Do you understand?" "But giants must die." "Not this one." "He's a special giant." "Axl, can I speak to you?" "Sure." "Alone." "Thor, no touching the giant." "OK?" "Thor!" "OK." "This was funny at the beach;" "Because you were stoned." "...not funny any more." "No, it's not." "Stop, because you're really starting to freak me out." "I know, but you have to believe us." "Everything we're telling you is the truth." "And we need to rescue Zeb." "There are no such things as Norse gods!" "Yes, there are." "In books, in stories, not studying building in NZ." "This one is." "Is this some kind of plan to get me to go back to Waiheke?" "No!" "How could this possibly do that?" "I don't know, but I wouldn't put it past him." "Gaia, this is me you're talking to..." "Axl." "I thought you were Odin!" "Yeah, well, I'm that too, but right now I'm Axl, standing here, trying to explain how this explains everything that's happened between us." "Remember when we got together wasn't that magical?" "Didn't that feel right?" "I dumped you and couldn't explain why... it was because of a Frigg alarm." "But she turned out to be Hel, not Frigg, and she married Ty, who is Hod, instead, but that didn't end so well, so we won't worry about that now." "The thing is, the thing is, I've been looking for you everywhere, and all this time you've been here, and you are her." "Isn't that amazing?" "I guess so." "Yeah." "But right now I just want to get out of these wet clothes." "And then we'll rescue Zeb." "I'll wait outside." "Ta." "This is amazing, eh?" "Sure is." "Thor!" "No!" "A tap, just one little tap on his forehead, just to let him know who's in charge." "Do it, slaughterer of innocents!" "No!" "No!" "No-one is slaughtering anyone!" "Because if we're to rescue Zeb, we need to work together, as a team." "What's a Zeb?" "Call him a friend of Odin's." "Oh, you're that kind of Odin." "No." "Hey, do you know that chick?" "Helen... her name is Helen." "Is she always that, you know, forward?" "I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm a great believer in spontaneous sex, but that was... that was surreal." "The first time I laid my eyes on her, it was the strangest, most remarkable feeling, like...." "like like your soul has been given wings?" "Yeah, like my dick was trying to drill out of my trousers and right into her." "I was ready to nail her right there and then, if she wanted to or no." "But let me tell you, Ty, she wanted it." "Oh, Lord, she wanted it." "Hey." "So this Ellen chick, was she like this with you?" "Helen." "I bet she wasn't, cos you're you and I'm me." "And, I mean," "I bet you never left her barely conscious with pleasure in the toilets." "OK, you've had your fun; can we leave now?" "Here we are, boys." "Oh." "Sweet." "Hello, Ty." "Hey." "Long time, no see." "Are you keeping in, out of the dark?" "Trying to." "I suppose an introduction is called for." "I would consider us introduced." "Well, I don't normally throw myself at strangers." "Pity." "That's what I like about you." "I'm Helen." "Helen." "I know." "I'm Anders, Ty's better-looking brother." "Your brother?" "As in, he is also a...?" "Yep." "Helen is as we are." "Half drunk?" "A goddess, you mong." "No shit?" "Idun." "Idun, the apple chick?" "That's one way of putting it." "Huh." "I'm Bragi." "Weren't we, like, married or something, in Asgard?" "Ooh." "In this world we've only shagged once, so let's not get too far ahead of ourselves." "Idun, the apple chick." "How do you like them apples?" "I mean, owning your own club is fine, as long as you're looking to party all night, get laid, partake in illicit substances..." "All admirable goals in life." "Inevitably, it all went down the toilet." "I'm sorry to hear that." "Nah, it's fine." "Sure, I had a breakdown, hooked up with the wrong guy, did unspeakable things for money, but apart from that, it was fine." "And then, until today, I ended up here." "Until today?" "Yeah." "I quit." "Just before, when I was getting these drinks." "Why?" "You guys seemed like much more fun than work." "Undoubtedly true." "So drink up, boys... this is my severance package we're working our way through." "Yee-haa." "The question you ask is a very complex one." "Is she Frigg... yes or no?" "What is complex about that?" "Simplicity can be complexity in disguise." "Don't try and hide behind oracle crap." "Especially when you're not very good." "Pot, kettle... black." "Hey!" "Straying off topic!" "I know she's becoming a goddess." "So which?" "We think Frigg." "Confirm or deny." "You promised you would." "And soon, soon you will find out." "Things are running their course." "It'd be unfair if you knew before the lady in question." "Do we look like we give a shit about 'fair'?" "No." "No, you don't." "Incoming." "Hi." "Can I have a word with you?" "Is Axl with you?" "In private?" "Sure." "So confirmed." "She's not exactly a very Norse Norse goddess is she?" "Sorry about the welcoming committee." "I'm kinda getting used to weird shit today." "Yeah, I bet." "I'm worried Axl and Bryn have gone to Crazy Town and they're not coming back." "Because they keep saying weird shit about Norse gods?" "Seriously, I don't know where it's all come from." "And Axl, he really believes it." "Yeah." "That would be because... it's true." "Look, right now you are probably feeling like you're the last sane person on Earth, right?" "And that is totally understandable." "The thing is, Gaia, a long time ago, for reasons right or wrong, the Norse gods made the decision to walk the Earth." "Sometime later they made another decision, to come to NZ, essentially to hide." "I won't go into the history, but the important bit is there is a long line of people who have, at one time or another, become the living, breathing incarnation of one of those gods." "I'm one..." "I'm Ullr." "And... hard to believe, I know, but..." "Axl is one too." "Odin." "Yeah." "And the signs are the prophecies are that you... will join our ranks very soon." "Look, I'm probably not the best person to explain this." "Come with me." "Ladies, um, Gaia here is having a little trouble coming to grips with the change in her situation." "Gaia, meet Sjofn, Snotra and Fulla." "Yeah, all goddesses." "And when you say 'situation'?" "The one where, yes, apparently, Gaia is about to become Frigg." "Oh!" "Whoa." "So maybe you could talk her through what all this nonsense actually means." "We can do that." "Be gentle with her." "Always." "Are you going to get me stoned again?" "No." "But we should go somewhere quiet, where we can talk, away from these silly men." "I know we like rooting them, but can we trust these goddesses?" "What?" "Not everything is deducible." "Hrungnir was a hero, a good giant who had his head knocked off with a grindstone at the hands of Thor." "His head... knocked right off!" "Will you shut up?" "They're only stories." "And what about Geirrod, eh?" "And his beautiful daughters Gjalp and Greip?" "Murdered!" "Their backs broken in their own home by Thor!" "Gjalp was trying to drown Thor in a river of her piss and womanly blood." "What was he meant to do?" "Shut up!" "Both of you." "Gaia, this is no time to get all chick about getting dressed we really need to move." "What have you done with her?" "Me?" "I was out there with you the whole time, you numbskull!" "Don't call me a numbskull, you" "Shut the fuck up!" "Hello?" "My instructions, were they too complicated for you?" "No." "Bring the girl, and one of those roast chickens from the supermarket to a place" "There's a problem." "With the chicken." "Problem?" "What problem?" "I'll call you when it's sorted." "But if you harm my mate, I will destroy you, OK?" "I thought it was my job to destroy the giant." "Why does anyone have to destroy any giant?" "Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on." "I don't know... the how is up to you." "Just get him here." "Hang on;" "I've got another call." "Hello?" "Mike, Gaia's disappeared again." "No, she hasn't." "Well, that's easy for you to say, cos you can, like, find anything." "She was here." "At the bar." "What do you mean 'was'?" "You need to get here now." "I'm on another call." "OK." "You got that?" "You and him... here." "That could be easier said than done." "I don't care." "Make it so." "Hi." "Uh, sorry to interrupt, but, uh, I kinda need to talk to Anders." "Anders really can't talk right now." "Right." "OK." "It's just that something urgent has come up and we need to go." "It's OK..." "I'm real close." "Good." "Good to know." "Just, he needs to know that it turns out Gaia is going to be Frigg." "Bullshit." "Apparently." "Really?" "All these people, they have no idea we exist." "Isn't that cool?" "If you say so." "Oh, it is." "Accept it, Gaia." "Just let it wash over you." "Once someone sat down and explained it to me, the 10 years of my life where I had no idea what was wrong with me made so much more sense." "The lesson here, Gaia, is... you can't fight it, so... embrace it." "So Fulla... is my... handmaiden?" "Yep." "Do I need a handmaiden?" "I am your handmaiden you don't get a choice." "Oh." "And what do you do, as my handmaiden?" "Cleaning and shit." "Oh, Gaia." "Are you OK?" "Am I OK?" "Good question." "I have just found out the world is full of creatures that are only meant to exist in storybooks, some of whom apparently want to kill me;" "my entire life has been a lie up to this point; and my flatmate is in the hands of some psycho giant, all because of me." "Yeah, I'm a bunch of fucking fluffy ducks, actually!" "But you're with us now." "We're goddesses, we're your kind, and we will look after you, all the way." "You are kidding me, right?" "Axl's drippy girlfriend is Frigg?" "She's not exactly a Valkyrie, is she?" "It's not my fault she doesn't meet your blonde-bombshell fantasies." "And then you let her go with them." "You mean her fellow goddesses." "They tried to kill Axl." "Did your dick erase that part of the story from your memory?" "I trust Michele." "Then you are a soft fool." "We will never see Frigg again." "Or we could simply accept the cosmos moves in the way it moves." "Oh, excuse me if I move to the bar, before I spontaneously move my bowels." "Yeah, just help yourself." "I was going to." "I knew a previous you... we made love at a Led Zeppelin concert." "I love Led Zeppelin." "There you go." "Hey." "Anything you'd like to add?" "I feel less than ideal." "Isn't the cosmos a weird and wonderful place?" "If you say so, Grandpa." "The forces that must have been at work to bring Bragi and Idun together before your very eyes." "The weird thing is, by Anders' standards, he's being nice to her." "I bet he is." "No, not just that." "I mean, he actually listens to her and asks her questions, and for two seconds it isn't him being an arsehole." "Well, she is his beloved." "You told me it would end badly for her." "Oh, it will end badly for her." "It doesn't mean it has to start badly." "You should talk to her." "About Anders?" "No, about apples." "He's trying to kill us all!" "He's just not used to Auckland traffic." "This the place?" "Yeah, it is." "It's not one of those Auckland gay bars, is it?" "I understood Thor likes to dress in women's clothes." "Not this Thor." "Oh!" "Who's idea was bringing him in?" "Top work, Grandpa." "Mike, uh, this is Thor." "Thor, Ullr." "G'day." "G'day." "And that's Ty, who is Hod." "I'm sorry about that." "Tell me about it." "And you know Bragi, and I have no idea who this is." "Hi." "Idun." "Goddess." "OK." "Beer." "Where is she?" "She's with the goddesses." "Where?" "I have no idea." "You let them take her away?" "!" "Can I get an 'amen' to that?" "She needed to be with her own kind." "Her kind who cannot be trusted!" "They'll bring her back." "How do you know?" "Don't we have more important things to discuss?" "Oh." "OK." "Yes." "We definitely need to talk about that." "Um, I've managed to stall Eggther for a bit." "I doubt the chicken story's gonna hold him for long." "Find giant, kill giant what's there to talk about?" "The fact he's holding my friend hostage, for starters." "You mean 'mortal friend'." "Uh, as much as I hate to say it, I'm with Thor." "Arse-licker." "You have to ask yourself, 'How much of a friend is Zeb really?" "'" "What's the alternative?" "Give him Frigg?" "I think we all know that's not going to happen." "Fight him, kill him?" "Come on, we're not the fighting, killing kind." "I am." "We send MC Hammer, and what happens happens." "Meanwhile we get on with our lives, and if your friend Zeb turns into a martyr along the way, so be it." "So Odin and Frigg get it on and we get our proper powers, then we can kick some serious giant arse to revenge his scrawny arse." "Sounds straightforward to me." "Sounds to me like the arrogant god shit we were trying to stop." "Yeah." "If you haven't got anything useful to say, you can piss off back to whatever bar you crawled out of." "What was not useful about that?" "That made perfect sense." "Ty, did that not make perfect sense?" "Sorry, I wasn't listening." "So defrost your ears." "OK." "This is what we'll do." "We're going to meet the giant, talk to him and find out what he really wants." "He wants to kill she who is meant to be Frigg." "And so did he, and instead he ended up raising her." "People can change." "Even giant people, I bet." "Yeah, but what about the bit where I bury my hammer in his eye socket?" "There isn't one." "Oh, come on." "Too bad." "It's what we're gonna do." "Make the call." "OK, fine, ignore me." "Play nice with the giants, Mike;" "I mean, you already handed Frigg to the enemy... top day's work!" "And, uh, hey, good luck for your friend's scrawny little neck when you turn up without the girl." "You can leave any time you want, Anders." "Now is good for me." "It's much more hospitable at my office, I swear." "It was really nice to meet you all." "I wish there was something I could do." "Is there anything I can do?" "After you've been drinking all day?" "Well, to be fair, when I started I didn't know any of this was gonna" "Go." "Apples." "Apples." "How come you're not as wide as you are tall?" "My metabolism... it is very fast." "Have you sorted out the chicken?" "The chicken is good to go." "About time." "I wanna speak to Zeb." "I need to know he's alive." "He wants to speak to you." "Hey." "Are you OK?" "So it turns out that Gaia is Frigg?" "Yeah." "Apparently." "It's like one of those movies where it turns out he should have got with the nice chick, not the hot one." "Enough!" "Give me the telephone!" "Are you happy now?" "You see what I have to put up with?" "Where do we meet?" "I don't know." "Where do NZ gods normally meet?" "In a forest, usually." "Yah." "I can work with that." "What is the forest?" "I don't know... they all look the same to me." "I'll text you the directions and when." "OK." "And don't forget... come alone." "I thought you wanted him to bring Gaia as well." "We need to, like, Google a map." "Hello?" "Uh, when I said, uh, come alone, I meant with the girl, obviously." "Obviously." "And the chicken." "Yah." "That too." "I think if it turns into a battle of wits, we'll be OK." "It's Michele." "What do you want?" "OK, Michele, I don't know where you guys are, but you need to bring Gaia back here now." "Michele wouldn't really do anything to her, right?" "No." "I mean, when she put the arrow in me... that's all in the past, right?" "Sure." "Ah, see... you could have answered your phone." "What's the matter, Mike don't you trust me?" "Are you OK now?" "Not entirely." "What's going on with Zeb?" "Uh, we're gonna go meet the giant." "When?" "Kind of now-ish, really." "Then, let's do it." "Except you're not going." "But it's me he wants." "Exactly why you're not going." "I'm going." "Yeah, we'll go." "No, no, no, no, you're not going either." "He'll expect me to be there." "And if he kills you, it has exactly the same effect as if he kills Gaia, which is why you are not going." "I'll go." "Thor, we're trying diplomacy it's more my game." "I can go pretending to be Gaia." "How?" "By dressing as her and wearing make-up." "Mm-hm." "And then what?" "Well, she could sleep with him." "OK." "I am going alone." "End of story." "No, not end of story." "This is all because of me, and there's no way you leave me here." "Zeb is my friend." "Yeah, and mine too." "So I'm going whether you like it or not." "Me too." "And where my daughter goes, I go." "But I'm not your daughter, am I?" "In my heart, you are my daughter and you will always be." "I vowed to protect you always, and I will... even against my own kind." "Well, if the giant's going, I'm going too." "This could be some sort of a trap." "You just wanna kill Eggther." "No-one is killing anyone." "Because you say so?" "No, because I say so." "Then it's just the five of us... alone." "I am not going with him!" "I have already given my lord Odin my solemn oath that my hammer will not split thy skull, giant." "It's your fucking driving I'm worried about." "What if I drive?" "My truck?" "Fuck off." "You may be Odin, but there are limits." "Oh, for Christ's sake!" "You go with Thor; me and you will go with Mike." "Is that OK with everyone?" "Stay safe honey, and headbutt the giant in the nuts for me." "I'm sure he's not that tall." "But neither are you." "It's like the Wild West... the men at the shoot-out, while the women and old folk look after the saloon." "What are we meant to do while we're waiting?" "There is a very large, empty bed upstairs." "Yes!" "You know, sometimes I loathe the hyperactive sex drive of us gods." "Now Anders has hooked himself a goddess, I hear." "I know." "Isn't it exciting?" "Suddenly there's goddesses popping up all over the show." "And Idun is important, right?" "As Frigg is to Odin, so she is to Bragi." "I meant generally." "The Constant Goddess... without her or her apples, there would be no us." "She can't be that important." "Yes, she is." "And she is way more powerful than me or you." "Way, way, way, way more powerful." "Tell me about Anders' stick." "The World Tree, some call it." "Ingrid, I don't care what it's called..." "I want to know how Yggdrasil works." "Mm." "Life flows through it." "I can't believe Anders just lopped a branch off it." "I didn't know it was real;" "I heard it was a metaphor, like the apples." "Well, it is a real tree, and we have a piece of it." "Anders has a piece of it." "For now." "But it's useless to him." "Mm." "Because he has no life in him." "Unfortunately, Anders has plenty of life in him." "No!" "No life." "No womb." "He cannot grow life, and so life cannot grow through him." "You sound like Agnetha... she was always asking me questions about the Tree." "I bet she was." "They're called 'indicators' for a reason!" "Indicating is a sign of weakness." "I thought we were dealing with giants, not clowns." "Let's see who's got the power now." "Quite often, when there's important god stuff to do, we end up in a forest." "You'll get used to it." "I guess this is the place!" "Yah, this is the place." "A chicken." "As requested." "Put the chicken on the table." "Hey, Zeb." "How's it going?" "Still digesting the whole Gaia/Frigg news." "Hi, Gaia." "Hey, Zeb." "You can call me Freki from now on." "Even though the real Freki is apparently dead." "If you say so." "Have you finished?" "Has everybody finished?" "Finished." "Chicken." "Chicken is for after;" "now I want the girl." "I'm not a girl." "Girl, goddess, whatever." "No, we're not handing her over to you." "We're here for Zeb." "How about I start by ripping his head off?" "You can have that part to start with." "Do that, and it'll be the last thing you'll ever do." "Oh." "Wow." "What a surprise, you didn't come alone!" "Gone over to the god side, have you?" "This has nothing to do with gods." "I vowed to protect Gaia, and I will, even from my own kind." "Still makes you a traitor." "There are worse things to be." "There's more of us than there are of you, so give it up." "How about instead, I kill him and then I kill the rest of you?" "How about you try it and find my hammer sticking out of your forehead like it's a tusk?" "Just let Zeb go, OK?" "Why?" "So the butcher of Thrymheim here can pound my bones to dust?" "He's not gonna do that." "He will if he gets half a chance." "No." "Look, I'm kinda new to this... god-giant stuff, and I don't know anything about the past, but apparently I'm quite important to the future of gods and giants." "Otherwise you wouldn't keep sending people to kill me, right?" "Yah, to prevent the new Dark Age." "Which is what?" "When gods are all-powerful and the likes of him rule the earth, killing my people at will." "But he won't be running the world;" "we will." "And I don't know what we'll do if and when that happens, but the one thing I know we won't be doing is letting Thor, or any God, run around killing giants just because they feel like it." "Seriously?" "What type of magical, fluffy bunny world, where unicorns pee rainbows and everything tastes of chocolate do you two live in?" "You cannot change what we are." "Exactly." "So let's just kill this prick and get on with it." "Thor!" "No!" "No!" "Don't!" "Thor, don't!" "Thor, let him alone!" "I command you!" "Axl, leave them." "Let them sort it out!" "Daughter, no!" "Shit." "Thor!" "Fucking giants!" "Thor, stop!" "Die, giant!" "In the name of Odin, I command you to stop!" "Leave him alone!" "I am Odin, the all-father... obey me." "Obey me!" "Yes, My Lord." "Eggther!" "Don't!" "Don't do it, man." "It is what I was sent here to do." "But that isn't you that's not who you are." "You're not a killer; you're just a tall, scary guy who's got by on his reputation." "You don't go around killing girls." "I'm not a girl." "Work with me, Gaia." "Put the stick down, bro." "Here, take the chicken instead." "Rise above it, man." "Rise above." "OK, now I'm pretty sure I've seen everything." "In your own way, Thor, you are a fine servant, and I thank you for your effort today." "I can stay longer, my lord, in case this is some kind of giant ruse." "No, no, no, we're good." "And you've probably got goats to farm." "Eaten all the goats." "You probably don't want to stay in Auckland a moment longer, eh?" "Thought I might check out the Sky Tower, actually." "Good idea." "You go do that." "Any time you need me, My Lord." "I will call..." "I promise." "I look forward to the rekindling of our powers." "Don't we all!" "One nutbar down, one to go." "Are we all good here?" "Yah, we are good." "So you'll take our message of peace back to your people?" "You will hear the laughter all the way from Jotunheimr to here." "And you... you know you are forever banished, yah?" "I figured as much." "And I know you gods... you think we giants are thickos, but the reason I am here?" "The reason we checked out Hlebard's possum heart in the first place?" "Jormungand is stirring." "If you say so." "Facebook me when you get home." "I will." "Goodbye, little buddy." "What?" "Are you gonna tell us how you did it?" "Did what?" "Saved my life, dick." "Oh, that." "You've heard of Stockholm syndrome, right, where hostages fall in love with their captors?" "When I realised I was unlikely to defeat Eggther in a physical contest," "I used reverse Stockholm syndrome." "That's right." "My best friend is a god, the most powerful god of them all..." "Odin." "You know, this burger's pretty good." "Thanks." "I made it myself." "No, you didn't." "I really like what you're doing there." "It sends a strong, clear message." "No, I mean die die." "This is a very tiny car for a giant, eh?" "Yah." "There was a mix-up with the rental car company, at the airport." "I hate it when that happens." "When I said come alone, I meant with the girl, obviously." "Obviously." "And the chicken." "Yah." "That too." "This so can't be easy for you, having the expectations of all the giants resting on your shoulders." "Yah." "It is hard sometimes." "I'm sure it is." "I didn't even kill Freki." "We got drunk together and he slipped over on the ice and hit his head." "But everybody thinks I did." "Because you're Eggther, the bad-ass baddest giant of them all." "Dude, you can so rise above that reputation." "I know you can." "I so had that situation totally under control." "Sure you did." "You are my trusted Girl Friday, Dawn." "Without you, I would die." "Go thirsty, you mean." "Exactly." "Off you go." "But the apples are what make us gods gods, right?" "That's what they tell me." "'They'?" "Who are 'they'?" "The books that I've read about me." "Oh." "So not actually a real 'they'." "No." "Ty, stop boring Helen." "I'm not bored..." "I love talking about me." "I am my own favourite subject." "Hey, hang on." "I am not so sure I like the sound of this." "You should be writing a poem about me." "Uh, 'There was a young goddess named Helen, whose tits were round like two melons '" "Oh!" "I'm going to stop you there." "But how do the apples keep gods being gods?" "Apple martinis." "No." "I think the apples are metaphorical apples." "Oh." "Oh, yeah." "I guess so." "'Whose buttocks were firm like ripe apples.'" "Really?" "Want a feel?" "Mmm." "Are you sure?" "Little firm buttocks." "Ta-da!" "Yay, the heroes have freed the hostage!" "We were so worried about you." "We can tell!" "Oh, forget about her she's a total lush." "At least I didn't find her in my bed, doing unspeakable things." "We apologised... get over it." "I take it you slew the dragon." "In a manner of speaking." "What an awesome god you are!" "Are you OK?" "Not entirely." "Come upstairs, I'll have a look." "Well, I don't know about you guys, but I could do with a beer." "Hell yeah." "Allow me." "Take off your shirt." "Ouch." "Is that your opinion as a medical professional, is it?" "What are you doing?" "Shh." "Normally I'd be right into this, but right now" "I don't want you getting distracted." "While what?" "While I fix your back." "You're going to fix it, are you?" "I am a medical professional." "What are you doing?" "Shh." "Ooh, yeah." "OK." "I don't know what you are doing, but" "Shh." "Oh!" "OK." "I might head home." "Oh, I'll come with you." "No, you stay here." "See you." "Bye, love." "Are you OK?" "What do you expect from me, Axl?" "How do you mean?" "What's expected of me, when I miraculously become your beloved Frigg?" "Oh, we don't usually talk about that kinda stuff in public." "So when I finally turn 21, again, are we meant to, like, immediately get it on and spend the rest of our lives making god babies?" "Is that how it works?" "Because if it is, I'm not entirely thrilled by that idea." "Where, in there, do I get to choose what I do and who I do it with?" "Or is it just you?" "That's it... that's my lot." "When do I get to be the one to make that decision, Axl?" "Sorry." "I'm... in a weird mood, and it's been a weird day, and it couldn't possibly get any weirder." "Gaia!" "Gaia!"