"So the rate of the fusion 230)}equals something... 230)}Times the square root of... 230)}something... 230)}I give up." "230)}So close." " Shut up." " Don't worry." "You'll get it." "a}A lot of famous scientists're women." "right?" "Alex." "It's time for your cello lesson." "How's the tutoring going?" "Are you familiar with the term "Throwing good money after bad"?" "party of one"?" "Because you will be." "Mrs. Dunphy}." "t}The key is to take a lot of little breaks 210)}- so you don't get frustrated and{\ wanna} quit." " Got it." "sweetie. 230)}and how do we know the right middle-eastern businessman" "230)}wouldn't treat her great?" "230)}I left my shopping list inside." "we thought she could live with you." "230)}Like I'm gonna tell any of you where I live." "What?" "We only do this when I get one right." "Momma should be here by now." "I wonder what's keeping her." "that depends." "Did she take her jalopy 230)}or one of them new fancy flying' machines?" "Mitchell}." "It's got a very vibrant cowboy-poetry scene." "230)}I'm not sure you're making the point that you think..." "That's her." "Come on." "Look alive." "Look alive." "My little bomber." "Puppy kiss." "Get over here!" " My baby's baby!" " How are you? but my mom is the greatest woman that ever lived." "Cam loves his mom." "and a whole lot of hell." "That sounds like a country song." "And that song would be called The Greatest Woman That Ever Lived." "Cam loves his mom." "Subtitles by MiniBen314 180)}she has been open and loving and caring." "I have missed these shoulders!" "210)}If I had one complaint... and I do..." "It's the... 180)}inappropriate putting of her hands on my body." "I got you the cranberries you wanted for the stuffing." "Bless your heart." "Let me get in there and help ya." "And a horsey bite." "This is how I like to cuddle." "It's been going on a long time." "you wanna go to the mall with me?" "my stomach's a little funny today." "papi. huh?" "Gloria thinks Americans are babies." "we couldn't go running to the hospital 210)}for every little sniffle or a dislocated shoulder." "Okay." "Good." "5-6." "I serve." "Huh?" "what are your symptoms?" "bloating?" "what did I say about getting off that crazy doctor website?" "210)}I'm just worried about Jay." "Stomach pains can mean a lot of things..." "Intestinal blockage..." " Do you have a fever?" " Stop it!" "he's fine." "Tell him you're fine." "g}Good. {\Get i}In the car." "not mall fine." "You know what happens when I shop angry." "I'll clear a space." " I'm not loving your color." " Go play." "Don't be a hero." "and smart guys go for dumb girls?" " What do the smart girls get?" " Cats mostly." "how long have I been paying this guy to make out with you?" "About a week." "but now I'm starting to like him." "you have to break up with Dylan." "What?" "No!" "Believe me." "And it's best for everybody if you {\just }do it quickly." "I can't believe we're having this conversation." "He's like part of the family." "Trust me..." "It's the right thing to do." "Just end it." "but be gentle." "Boys are surprisingly sensitive at that age." "I'm gonna tell 'cause it hurt!" "So I'm working in the principal's office." "hair all silver from the chlorine..." "Tells me she wants her varsity jacket back." "then I tear up a lot." "at some point I realize" "I'm sitting on the button to the high-school intercom system." "ladies." "is not funny now." "Haley." "Don't do Dylan like Linda "The Cannon" Concannon did me." "Honey..." "That was a long time ago." "I loved her." "Okay." "I know." "You know what?" "{\Maybe }I'll call Dylan after he talks to Haley." "He's gonna need someone to lean on." "But that someone should not be his ex-girlfriend's father." "he should be out of ours." " You've always hated Dylan." " I have not always hated Dylan." "I have always thought that Haley could do better." "the new boyfriend is super smart." "It's done." "We broke up." " What?" "!" " I texted Dylan." "It's over." "I'll bet that's him." "Sad-face emoticon!" "You can feel the hurt through the phone!" "Cam's mom spend the half of dinner with her hands... all over me." "230)}It was like she was blind and wanted to know what my thighs looked like." "230)}Are you sure?" "a}Are you really the best judge of this kind of a thing?" " You've had boundary issues since{\ you were a kid} ever." " I have not!" "Sorry." "My mistake." "Must be Cam's mom..." "Her issues." "j}Just getting a spoon." "it is." " Is it bothering you?" "stop it!" "Stop it!" "Force field!" "That never stops being fun." "Claire." " And it's actually getting worse." " What does Cam say?" "he never seems to notice." "And I certainly can't talk to him about it because God forbid I say anything negative about his mom." "One time I added salt to her casserole... and he went into the garage and punched the car." "and I'm pretty sure it isn't..." "Thank you." "Supportive." "Then you need Cam to see his mom feeling you up and then make Cam deal with it." "Think about it." "I should call you Claire." "I think w}We're gonna stick with Mrs. Dunphy." "Come on in." "How are you doing?" "Not so good." "I see her face." "that is a family portrait." "I gotta go get some of my stuff." "Is that cool?" "Sure." "Yeah." "There she is again!" "Don't look on the bookshelf!" "You're just gonna... you got a minute?" "I need the name of that medical website." "Can this wait until I'm home?" "I'm having the round of my life." "I might have a couple of those... symptoms you were talking about." "I see." "You might as well play through." "It's gonna be a while." "I just wanna make sure." " Is that Manny?" " Work." "huh?" "Did she buy that?" "Because it sounded fake on this end." "Tom}." "you can call me whatever you want." "P Daddy." "Phil." " Okay. sometimes I come in here and noodle on it." "I've been writing a little song of my own." "Might be able to pluck out a few... that Haley and I didn't really break up." "But it's not a dream..." "Unless the whole thing was a dream and we never even dated in the first place." "this is kind of what my song's about." "Weird." "but you're gonna be fine." "I was a lot like you in high school..." "Except my hair was shorter and my guitar was a flute." "we could go out and we'd pick you one." "I don't know if that's such a good idea." "Yeah." "Totally." "Well..." "I guess I'll get going." "So..." "I can... be alone forever." "What the hell?" "Yeah!" "Let's go guitar shopping." "Awesome." "Do me a favor." "Don't tell Mrs. Dunphy?" " Yeah." "Definitely." "You got it." " Okay." "All right." "I guess I'll see ya." "You can go ahead and exit through the front door." "Right." "Habit." " My old yearbook!" " You know I saved them all." " Look." " What?" "You're the cutest boy in school." "We're gonna have an awesome summer." "Smooches" " Brenda." "you are about to have the most confusing summer of your life." "guys!" "There's Mitchell!" "My little corn silk!" "You are such a good hugger." "Isn't she the best hugger?" "Thank you." "Barb." "What's that?" "Scratchers!" "Thank you." "Nice." "That's your tea." "I'm gonna get your tea." "honey." "I need a quarter." " Let me have that." " Feel free to fish around in there." "please." " Just a second." "You know what?" "I strained myself so bad today." "w}hat's hurtin' on ya?" "It's this area between my lower back and upper thigh." " Sounds like your fanny." " It's my fanny." "It's really knotted up." " You need someone to work on that." " I would love that." "Just... it's really seized up." "Just put your fingers all over my... my fanny." "Your magic fingers..." "Momma?" "Your tea." "sweetie." "See you in the room for a minute?" "Thank you." "honey.} why you are presenting to my mother like a baboon." "I wanted you to see her fondling me." "you do want me to cry." "{\It's just that...}She's always touching me inappropriately and you never seem to notice." "Mitchell." "Show me on lily's doll where my mother is touching you. and it makes me uncomfortable." "My God." "I know what this is." "You're {\just }not used to{\ having} a mother that shows affection." " Do not make this about my mother." " I didn't." "But it is normal for a mother to be physical." "And it is not strange for an occasional hug or a little pat on fanny." "no." "She squeezes and lingers!" "Show me where she squeezes and lingers." "Put the doll down. and it's creeping me out" "Let me show you where you stabbed my momma." "by the way." "The one with two necks would have been overkill." "you can have some." " Diet starts tomorrow!" "either." "but she said it looked stupid." "She's a girl with strong opinions..." "Like her mother." "Claire hates this new sweatshirt I bought." "She says it looks like something a girl would wear{\ to the beach}." "it does." "But I wear it anyway." "See?" "why be alive if you can't do the things you're passionate about?" "Dylan?" " I always wanted to drive to Graceland." " Fun!" "What else?" "I know a guy who can get me a pet bobcat." "You don't really know what they're gonna do." "you got your whole life ahead of you." "Enjoy being single." "I really got to play that song for you." "This is all in there." "Awesome." "Be right back." "Come here." "Is that guy over there with someone?" " {\Could you tell if t}There was anything going on{\ between them}?" " I don'know." "They were talking about taking a trip to Graceland together." "He just wants to go 'cause he thinks it's an amusement park! this is looking more and more like diverticulitis." "Do they say how to treat it?" "Like a heating pad or..." "There it is again. but also like I ate a bad scallop that's stabbing me from the inside." "but there's no box for that." " What are you guys looking at?" " Huffington post..." "Girls." "let me see that screen." " What did I tell you?" " It's not his fault." "I asked him to look." "I'm starting to think I have a serious problem here." "you do!" "That computer!" "you feel it here." "You want to feel better?" "There..." "You're cured." "then tell Florence ightingale I went to the hospital." "I'm gonna kill her!" "I'm gonna kill him!" " I'm gonna kill both of them!" " What happened?" "Dylan has a new girlfriend!" " When did that happen?" " Who cares?" "I'm just surprised he didn't say anything... to you." "He's not answering my texts." "How could he do this to me?" "!" "you were the one who broke up with him." "I didn't think he was gonna find someone so fast!" "Maybe he's better than I thought." "he's not better!" "you know who's better?" "smart David?" "Maybe that's him right now!" "Do you want the house to yourself?" "For just a little while." "I got your texts." " You swore a lot." " Who is she?" " Who is who?" " Your new girlfriend." "so I can mess her up." "I don't have a new girlfriend." "Dylan." " I'm not. sharing a sundae with her ugly sweatshirt on the chair." "Is that the skank?" "there's no skank." " Then why aren't you answering it?" "Cause I wanna talk to you." "I want to talk to her." "I'm gonna call her back and tell her to keep her hands off of what belongs to me." "Hello." "Dad?" "My God..." "The sweatshirt?" "That was you with Dylan?" "!" "we're just friends!" "what are you..." "Put the phone down." "What is going on?" "He needed someone to talk to." "He took the break-up pretty hard." "You did?" "I kept on hopping that we'd get back together." "Thinking of you with someone else just drove me crazy." "baby." "But then your dad helped me figure out maybe it's best if we're apart." "I think I just need a little time to date Dylan." "not another guy named Dylan." "we're still broken up?" "I think so." "I don't know..." "I'll see you." "Bye." "baby?" "Do you need another pillow?" "but he did say it could be an ulcer." "He also said it could be gas." "Do you want me to burp you?" "Come here." "Come here. it's not." "You have acute pendicitis." "We need to get you into surgery right away." "Emergency surgery." "I told you it was something." "That can't be right." "{\You have to c}Check again!" "Mr. Pritchett}. then I'm the worst wife in the whole wide world!" "I made you suffer two whole days!" "it's not okay!" "Why?" "!" "Why do I always almost kill my husbands?" "!" "but I'm sort of counting down to a rupture here!" "You can't go without forgiving me!" "What if you die in there?" "What do I do without you?" "!" "but nobody dies of an appendectomy!" "right?" "Jay!" "please?" "!" "it's Barb." "I'm so sorry." "I... and... maybe I do touch you too much." "I don't know." "and I... I would never want to make you uncomfortable." "too." "So we're okay?" "of course." "Thank God." "Cause I couldn't live with myself if things stayed weird between us." "What is it?" "sweetie!" "that's not necessary..." "No!" "if... you just tell me about it." "What is that?" "Almost lost my bracelet." "That would be an area that's okay." " Dang it!" " I'll get it." "I'll get it." " I saw where it fell." " Force field!" "Force field!" "What's going on?" "I lost my bracelet in here." "I think this might be one of those situations where Mitchell feels like you're crossing a boundary." "Really?" "this too?" "Well..." "I got to have a good long think about how I conduct myself." "Mitchell." " It's okay!" "It's okay." "and we'll get out of his way.{\Absolutely.}" " Scooch together there." " This all right?" "I miss him." "He was your first real boyfriend." "I keep expecting him to show up." "and I'd sneak out to see him." "I know." "You knew?" "His car is 30 years old and doesn't have a muffler." "And he honked." "I loved that car." "I rode in it to the guitar store." "I felt like I was flying." "but... that's how you know it was a relationship worth having." "dad." "are you loving Graceland?" "that's true." "210)}Probable would be cooller if they had roller coasters." "huh?" "210)}That's just an expression." "America doesn't have a king." "210)}Sure." "210)}When?" "that's not always the case." "did you get a chance to listen to that song I sent you?" "210)}You got seven minutes?"