"Sookie, are you okay?" "You want some water?" "Four?" "You're sure you found four bodies?" " We shouldn't even be telling you this." " Andy, not now." "Not with me." "There's four sets of remains inside four coffins." " Oh, my God." " We can't let you go in there." "Andy, if you don't take your hands off me right now, I swear to God, I will kill you." "Sweetheart, you don't wanna come up here." "Jiminy Christmas." " That's what happens to vampires?" " Evidently." "Plus, we got three more." "I hope you skipped breakfast." "Sookie, did Bud send you up here to make an ID?" "Because..." "Sookie, you okay?" "Bill Compton." "To leave a voice message, press one or just wait..." "Shit." "Mama, it's not even 8." "Good morning, baby." "Did I wake you?" "I'm almost done." "Just a couple more loads." " Well, these are half full." " Useless to me." "Just fuel for demon fire." "The bottle kept him alive for 40 years." "As long as I keep the stuff out of my house, he ain't never coming back." " Let's see how long you can keep it up." " Forever." "Gotta be." "I'm down to my last chance." "You didn't have a drink today?" "Didn't need one." "Didn't even want one." " Is that maple syrup?" " Check the kitchen." "I made hoecakes." "Are you serious?" " I haven't had hoecakes since..." " Since your grandmama was alive." "I always could make them, just never did." "The demon never let me." " You made these with bacon grease." " It's the only way." "You eat, baby girl." "I got me some more devil juice to take out." "Goddamn." "You..." "You are not like anybody I ever met." "I was just gonna say the same thing." "Jesus." "It felt like the whole world came together." "Me, you, the bed, the house." "We were all one big giant..." "Organism." "Yeah, mine was huge." "I never knew vamp blood could do something like this to you." "You know what?" "Neither did I. I mean I've had V partners before, but this was on a totally different planet." "You're an extraordinary being." "Well, what's that supposed to mean?" "I mean, in some ways, we barely know each other, right?" "But you felt that." "Tell me that that wasn't just me." "We tapped into each other." "No, no, no, I felt it." "We tapped." "There's something old and good and wise deep down in you." " I have to know that person." " Come on, cut it out." "Nobody who knows me has ever called me wise." "Then nobody really knows you." "Are you blushing?" "I don't want you to go." "Well, I was planning on just burning through but if you have a place for me to crash then for you, I might just stick around for a little bit." " Stay." "Stay with me." "I don't wanna ever leave this bed." "Let's just screw and do V until we starve." "Sure." "Okay." "But, I mean, let's hold off on the screwing." "I'm a respectable girl." "What?" "Oh, did I hurt you?" "I'm sorry if I got carried away, it was just so amazing." "No, no." "Jason, we didn't have sex." " What do you call what we been doing?" " We were together on V, deeper than I've ever felt with anybody ever before." "But physically, we barely touched." " No." "No, that's not possible." " I promise." "Look." "Panties still on." " What the fuck?" " I told you." "It's better than sex." "Jesus Christ, what the hell are you doing?" "Stop with the J.C. I'm cleaning, what does it look like?" " Watch your feet." "I just waxed." " I hope you mean the floor." "Can I help you?" "I'm up to my elbows in Easy-Off." " My mama made me hoecakes this morning." " So?" "She cooked me breakfast." "When's the last time you saw my mama lift a finger for anything besides Mad Dog 20/20?" "We went into the woods to get a $445 hoodoo exorcism last night." " You do not wanna get me started on that." " My grandmother's dead." "At least you got someone." "You ever think about what's happening with others before you barge in on them?" " Sorry." "I didn't me..." "Oh, my God, are those fang marks?" "So what?" "It means someone cared for me when everyone else left me." "No wonder you're crazy." "A vampire made a meal of you." "Why am I the only person that doesn't think vampires are monsters?" "They drink our blood." "What's to say Bill won't leave you once he's had his fill?" "Do you have any idea what I've been through today?" "A friend would ask." "Don't tell me how to be your friend." "I'm the only one you got, goddamn..." " Lord's name in vain." " Fuck off." "Get out of my house!" "I've gotten very good at losing people." " You are only making it easier for me." " Bitch, I don't even wanna be here." "If you are hell-bent on being alone in this world, I ain't gonna stop you." "Oh, man." "I wanna not have sex with you again so bad, you don't even know." "I think I got some idea." "But that V that we did was the last I had." " Where do we score some more?" " When we need more, we'll go get it." "Don't be greedy." "We'll be okay for a while." " Just eat your breakfast." " You sure you don't want some?" " Pepperoni and sausage." " No, thank you." "I only eat organic." "The cleaner my body is, the more intensely I feel the V." "Why do you have two televisions in the same room?" "The bottom one's busted." "I just keep it because it was my parents'." "Can I ask you how they died?" "Yeah I don't like to talk about it." " Okay." "It was a flash flood." "They were caught on the bridge by the Parish Road and got swept out in the river." "My little sister and I were staying at our gran's while they went out." "They didn't think I could look after Sookie by myself, even though I was almost 11." "Sometimes I think, if I was a better kid they wouldn't have had to drop us off at Gran's." "Then they wouldn't have been on the bridge at the exact point when..." " So your grandma raised you after that?" " Yeah, I moved back here when I was 18, even though Gran would have rather kept an eye on me." "Yeah, she passed too." " Last week." " Oh, God, I'm so sorry." "Goddamn." "I don't mean to be spilling." " I never do this." " You never talk about things with anybody?" "You don't talk to your sister?" "Least of all her." "She brings out the worst in me." "We had this big fight after Gran died and I hit her." "I tell you I am the worst brother in the world." "That's ridiculous." "I've seen who you are inside." "I've been there." " And you're good, Jason." " No." "Do you hear me?" "She's a beauty." "You want it for your office?" "No." "We'll put it over the bar." " Drunks like talking to the animals." " Hey, check it out." "Possum prick." " Where'd you get that?" " Shot one last week." "Was gonna stuff it but I left it out." "It got to raining and three days later ain't nothing left but possum sludge and bones." "I saved this, though." "Possums have a two-pronged penis." " It's supposed to bring good luck." " Yeah." "Hey, Terry, let's keep that story between us." "The girls might get the wrong idea." "Hey, Sam." "What was you doing out this morning?" " Why?" " You wouldn't have been running through the woods without no clothes on, would you?" " Why would I do that?" " I don't know." "That's why I'm asking." "I was out fishing and I could have swore I saw you blazing buck-naked through the trees." "No, it wasn't me." "I was working on my car." "It looked an awful lot like you." "Except you wear clothes." "I don't know." "Maybe I'm seeing things again." "Except usually when I see people who ain't there, it's..." "It's..." " It's the insurgents." " Yeah." "Yeah." "Only this fella I saw, he didn't look like no insurgent." "But you said he was running, though, huh?" "Plenty of cover in the trees." "How could you tell for sure?" "Hey, I believe you saw what you saw." "I just don't know why anyone would run naked through the woods in broad daylight." " Yeah." "Maybe you're right." "Shoot." "I hate being this way, Sam." "It's all right, buddy." "Come on." "We're a long way from Fallujah." "Sookie." "No, not the neck." "Where the hell is Sookie today?" "Here you go, honey." "Sorry it took so long." "Intense." "All these animals on the wall, it's like a natural history museum." " I never noticed them." " How could you not?" "Every one of these animals lived a life full of experiences that we can't even imagine." "Does it weird you out?" "We could go someplace else." "No." "I mean, everyone has to eat, right?" "We're all links on the universal food chain." "See?" "Squirrel eats nuts, snake eats the squirrel, gator eats the snake." "And we can eat pretty much anything we want." "It's the circle of life." "Jesus Christ." "I wanna lick your mind." "Let's have lunch first." "Order up." " I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I know I'm late." " Sookie, listen, I heard about the fire." " I'm real, real sorry." "How you holding up?" " He's alive." " What?" " Bill." "They said four bodies." "I thought Bill was one of them." " He wasn't?" " No, he's fine." "In fact he's wonderful." "That must be quite a relief for you." "You have no idea." "Anyways, no need to worry about me." "I'm great." "Sweetie, where you been?" "I'm up to my eyeballs in tickets." "Arlene, you look so beautiful today." "I love you, even if you are a bigot sometimes." " What's with her?" " Bill's alive." " What?" "But I thought..." " I know." "So did I." "Order up." "I'm coming." "Hold your horses." "He got my message that something bad might be brewing, so he spent the night in the graveyard." " Doesn't it get cold?" "No, he was in the ground." "So after I couldn't find him, then hearing about those four bodies at that burnt-up house, you can imagine what I was going through." " I mean, that must have been terrible." " Oh, you don't know." "They said there was only three vampires that come in here the other night." " Who's the fourth body?" " Some poor fangbanger, they're saying now." "Some vampires like to keep a human around for sex and blood." "I'll get your Cokes." " Thought you said "order up."" " I did." "New girl took them." "New girl?" "BLT, cheeseburger, well-done, fried egg on white, hot wings smoked sausage tuna melt and the chicken fried steak must be for you." " Thank you." "We've got a four-top open." " Isn't she something?" " She's with you." " I know you're pissed at me but I really want you to like her." "Sorry about that." "You looked really swamped and the natives were getting restless so..." "You're Jason's sister, right?" "It's..." "I've heard so much about you." " Who are you?" " My name's Amy." " Amy Burley." "I'm with Jason." " With me." "And you must be Arlene with the beautiful red hair." "It's so nice to meet you." "How'd you know all the table numbers?" "Well, I waited tables in college so I just assumed clockwise." "You know, Table 1, 2, 3, 4, 5." "And I think the guys at Table 5 like you because they left you a really nice tip." "Sam, I think we might have found a replacement for Dawn." "Looks like you did too." "What?" "Don't you touch that, sweetie pie." "Mama'll take care of all the laundry." "Oh, my goodness." "Lettie Mae, ain't she the spitting image of you." "That's a compliment." "Tara Mae, you remember Mable Simpkins, don't you?" " Yeah, from the church." " That's right." "And why don't we see your smiling face there no more?" " Because I stopped going." " Oh, well, it's never too late to come back." "Lettie Mae left us for two years and we welcomed her back today like she had never gone." " I heard the call." "The good Lord said, "Lettie Mae, you been away too long." "Your church needs you."" "You should have heard her testify." "The entire congregation was filled with the spirit." " Yeah, I bet she was full of it." " Your mama's an inspiration to us all." " Glory to God." " Amen." "Girl, why don't you come to Bible group on Tuesday?" "Got plenty of nice young men and fruit punch." "A little religion do you a world of good, baby girl." "Shit." "Are you even listening to what you're saying?" "You can lie to yourself and everyone else but when you go to bed you are just as fucked up and miserable as I am." "And going to church and wearing a crazy-ass hat ain't gonna make you a better person." "She got a demon in her." "My granddaughter had a demon in her." "They everywhere." "No, sure, I understand." "No, it's no problem." "Okay, baby." "Bye-bye." "Every time I get a night off, my babysitter falls through on me." "You know, I like kids, Arlene." "Doughnuts too." "Maybe if you brought a lady friend along." "Lisa likes a female in the house." "I ain't had a lady friend since I come home." "Well, that's some bad luck for you, I guess." "Did something happen there that you been keeping to yourself?" "Because you could talk to me, you know, if you're wanting to." "No, I'd just as soon sit here and listen at you." "I like your voice." "And your clavicles." "I've been admiring your necklace all day." "Oh, thanks, it's a lariat." "I made it." "You make jewelry?" "It's a easy way to earn extra money." "I can make you one, if you want." "Thanks, but I don't think my boyfriend much likes silver." " You know my brother's a dog, don't you?" " I'm sorry?" "He's all charm and smiles in the beginning, but the second he gets tired of you he's gonna stop calling." "Before you know it, he's off with some other floozy." "Not..." "Not that you are one." "But trust me, it's as regular as the seasons." "You seem like a sweet girl." "I don't want you to get hurt." "You know, I don't think Jason's realized even half of what he's going to be." "I wouldn't be so quick to judge." "I think you might be surprised at what he's capable of." " Hey, Sookie, I been meaning to talk to you." " What's the matter?" "I've just been a mess lately." "You know, with the kids and the double shifts and Rene and everything, it's been awful hard." "And I've probably said some things that I don't mean, but that's the pressure talking." "I love you like my own sister." "And you know that, right?" "I appreciate that." "Thank you." "And sure, I'll babysit your kids tonight." " I didn't..." "I mean..." " I heard you talking to Terry." "I'm a better choice." "We'll drop them off at 8." "Rene's taking me to Ruston to see that Oak Ridge Boys tribute band." "Fun." "You look mighty pretty tonight, Tara." "That's a nice color on you." " Fuck you." " I'm sorry, w..." "Was that sexist?" "Tara, may I have a word with you?" "In my office." "Hey, I get it." "You said yourself hiring me might not work out." "I piss people off." "If you wanna fire me, fire me." " I totally understand." " No." "You and I are the only ones who get it." "It's everybody else who's fucking themselves up." "Doesn't it get old for you?" "I mean, you've been doing it for over a hundred years." "Doesn't it get predictable?" "Not with you, it doesn't." "You're entirely different." "And the beauty and the tragedy of it is..." "Is that you don't know just how different you are." "Please tell me if I'm doing something wrong." "There's nothing more natural than the act of making love." "Who am I to try to change what comes naturally to you?" "But if you could change something..." "I wouldn't change a thing." "What's it like to sleep in the ground?" "Well, it's not exactly comfortable." "But it is safe." "Which, if I recall, is what the three voice mails required of me that night." "Oh, crap." "Arlene." "I forgot, I told her I'd babysit the kids." "Shall I go?" "No." "Stay." "It'll be good for her." "You can put some pants on, though." " Hi." " Sookie." "What's wrong?" "What took you so long?" " I was out back in the yard." " In your nightie?" "The cat got out." "Made friends with a squirrel." " Mommy, look, it's a vampire." " Sookie you didn't mention that you had company." "I didn't think I had to." "Well, I got a right to know who's looking after my children." "Well, here we are." "Is there a problem?" "Take it easy, chere." "Mr. Compton's raised a couple of them little ones himself, yeah?" "That's quite right." "Keep these on you, you hear?" "And..." "And stay close to your Aunt Sookie." "They'll be fine, I promise." " Who wants pizza?" " Me." " Me." " Good, because that's what we're having." "You can eat pizza?" "Well, unfortunately, no, but I understand it's delicious." "You know what's good about sex that people never mention?" "For anywhere between five minutes to an hour, you forget your own fucked-up life." "Only if it's good." "If it's not, it reminds you just how bad your life really is." " Then I guess you're pretty good." " Thanks, you're not bad yourself." "Easy on the praise, honey." "What?" "No, you're good." " But?" " Nothing." "It's good." "You're good." " What am I doing wrong?" " Nothing." " It's so minor, it doesn't even matter." " Sam." "What is it?" " Don't do this to me." " Spit it out." "Sometimes you grunt." " I what?" " It's natural." "Nothing to get worked up over." " It's just a sound." " A grunting sound?" "Like a farm animal?" "No." "No, it's..." "It's..." "It's athletic." "Like tennis players when they serve." " You mean like Serena?" "What, because I'm black, I sound like Serena Williams?" " That's not what I said." " You racist son of a bitch." "How can I be racist?" "I just had sex with you." "You asshole." "Why'd you have to go and take the only good 10 minutes of my entire day and ruin it like that?" " Well, I think it was more than 10 minutes." " Oh, fuck you." "Fuck you all." " All who?" " Everybody." "Fuck everybody!" " Whipped cream." " Yeah." " Me too." " I hope you can finish this before your mother comes back." " No problem." " I ate a whole jar of mayonnaise once." " I had to watch." "Bill, how come you can't have ice cream?" "You might say that I'm lactose intolerant." "Just like my Aunt Fern." "Except she don't tolerate Mexicans." "Aunt Sookie, is Bill your boyfriend?" "Bill, would you say that you're my boyfriend?" "Well, I suppose I'd have to ask permission from Coby and Lisa." "Would it be all right if I was Aunt Sookie's boyfriend?" "Do you buy her flowers?" "Why, no, I haven't yet." "You better." "Rene buys flowers for Mama all the time." " Then I will have to mend my ways." " You do that." "Then we'll talk." "Can we see your fangs?" " Oh, I don't think that's gonna be possible." " Why, certainly." "I think we got a flat tire." "Come on, baby, the kids are waiting on us." "I don't wanna leave them with that vampire one second longer than I have to." "Okay, okay, okay." "I'm getting to it, woman." " Baby." " What?" "Pass me that Maglite, will you?" "Crap, it's burnt out." "Are you sure?" "You better check it." "I just put some fresh batteries in there." "Arlene Fowler would you do me the honor of being my wife?" "Why didn't you say anything at the Red Lobster?" "I know I've done it four other times, but it never gets old." "Oh, I'm so thrilled for you two." " Would you be a bridesmaid for me again?" " Why, of course." " You hardly have to ask." " Oh, honey, I love you so much." "Maybe you two are next, huh?" "Well, I mean, when it becomes legal." "Mommy, what's going on?" "Sweetie you're gonna be my flower girl." "Morning, dear." "Bill." "Did you make all this?" "I borrowed some of your grandmother's old recipes." "But the handiwork is all mine." "I don't even know where to begin." "Well, I would start with the biscuits." "They just came out of the oven." " Gonna be clear skies all day." " Wait, Bill, it's light out." "Yes, I suppose it is." "Yeah." "Yeah, okay." "No." "No, I'll make the call." "His mama passed a couple years back, but he had some family in Kentucky." "His dentist confirmed the match a bit ago." "I thought you should be the first to know." "Goddang it." "Why Neil?" "He was such a quiet kid." "I'd have never thought he'd get mixed up with fangers." "Damn." "To have nothing left of you to ID but teeth." "You wanna maybe let one of the homes in Monroe handle him?" "No." "No." "He worked for me." "I owe it to him." "Give me a couple hours, I'll come over and claim him, okay?" "Okay." "Thanks, Mike." "Yeah." " Pretty tore up?" " Blind-sided him." "Had no idea Neil was a fangbanger." "Jesus, Bud, the kid was creepy." "What 19-year-old goes to work for a funeral home?" "I worked in a slaughterhouse when I was 15." "They made me clean chitlins." "Speaking of freaks..." "And that's it." "I got no control over what people do after they leave the bar." "You remember anyone being unusually angry over what those vampires did to your bar?" "Yeah, everyone." "We were all angry." "Heck, you might as well interrogate the whole town." "Between you and me I wouldn't be heartbroken if you didn't find who did it." "You know what I'm saying?" "Old Mrs. Stackhouse, on the other hand, now that's a real tragedy." "Her and Dawn and Maudette Pickens, one right after the other." "You fellas got any leads on that?" "We're working on some right now." "Good." "I'm pulling for you guys." "Okay." "You remember anything else, we'll be having a burger inside." "Come on, Andy." "Hey, Sam." "One other thing." "You recall spending any time out in the woods lately?" "Yeah." "Some." "But you knew that already, didn't you?" "Andy." "Lf..." "If I tell you, you have to keep this a secret." "Nobody in town knows." "But I come from a family of naturists." "Like bird watchers?" "No." "No, not naturalists." "Naturists." "Naturists believe in a freer clothing-optional kind of lifestyle." " You're a nudist?" " No, no." "Good Lord, no." "But my folks were I'm embarrassed to say." "They spent most of their lives at a nudist colony." "Oh, yeah?" "Around here?" "No, in Texas, just outside Beaumont." "Ever since they passed, I honor their memory once a year by taking a run through the woods the way they used to." "It's..." "It's my private way of mourning." "I'm sorry if anybody had to see it." "What?" "Hooker, you done got took." "That wasn't no damn exorcism that was a straight-up con job." "You know what the fucked-up thing is?" " What?" " It worked." "It was like aliens beamed down and switched out her brain." "Then that was 445 well-spent." "Shit." "Happy dance." "You should be glad to be rid of that..." " That's your mama." "I ain't gonna say it." " Fuck that." "All the shit you've built up doesn't go away because some hoodoo woman moves some rocks around on your belly." "I thought you said it worked." "I thought you said it was a con job." "Heifer, it's not a con job if you got your money's worth." "Hell." "And who knows?" "It might do you some good too." "I don't have another 445 to waste on bullshit." "You just saying that because you don't understand it." "And trust me, this world is filled with things we will never understand." "Compared to a lifetime of Zoloft, 445's a bargain." "Hey, what you doing?" "Vitamin." "I've never seen you take a vitamin before." "So what?" "You've never seen me put on deodorant or wash my hair or feed my cat, have you?" "But I do all those things." "I don't need a permission slip from you." "Christ." "Good day?" "I need V." "What?" "I thought you said you didn't need any again until you needed it again." " Well, I need it." "Okay?" "Okay." "Look me in the eye." "Tell me that you don't want it too." "Yeah, of course I do, but Lafayette won't sell it to me." "I texted you three times." " Why didn't you reply?" " I hate using the number keys to type." "What are you listening to?" "From my younger days." "It's really quite beautiful if you know Old Swedish." "I have a favor to ask of you." "A favor or an order?" "Depends on how you look at it." "Honestly, did you think you could keep her to yourself?" "It feels a little like stalking, don't it?" "It's the most natural thing in the world." "The hunt." "People used to do this all the time before we got complacent with cloned beef and prepackaged dinners." "Headlights off." " You done this before?" " Stay five lengths behind 10 if we get on the Parish Road." "Well, hey there, sweetness." "You ready to party?" "I'll take that as a yes." "Nasty." "I bought this specially for you." "I remember you said you go for merlot." "I said I worked at Merlotte's." "But whatever." "Pour me some anyhow." "All right, baby." "Eddie juice first." "Then we play." "There it is." "I always look forward to Monday nights." "First Heroes, then you." "Eddie, what fun is it being a vampire if all you do is watch TV?" "Well, I like TV." "I'm just saying you should try the bars." "I know you like getting laid too." "Why should I go to the bars?" "I got this." "You like me, don't you, Lafayette?" "Sure, I like you." "I mean even if I wasn't helping out with the blood, you'd still want me, right?" "Why you even got to ask me that?" "I'd hate to think it's just business for you when you come over." "Of course not." "What, you think I fool around with all my business associates?" "There we go." "Now show me what a dirty old vampire you is." "I want you so bad I ache." "Well, come on, baby." "I'll take care of you." "You said you wanted to go out tonight." "I did not mean Fangtasia." "I mean, really, all those pathetic people who come here looking for sex with vampires." "I know." "It's despicable." "You know what I mean." "So, what, five, 10 minutes?" "As long as Eric requires us." "You mean as long as he requires me." "Didn't even have the decency to ask me himself." "You are mine." "He didn't need to ask your permission." "He cannot check me out like a library book." "Unfortunately, Sookie, he can." " Eric is sheriff of Area 5." " Sheriff?" "It's a position of great power among our kind." "We do not wanna anger him." "As long as the requests are reasonable, we should accede to his wishes." "I had this crazy dream this morning." "We were sitting, eating breakfast and all of a sudden the sunlight set you on fire." "It wouldn't happen quite that way." "The sunlight would severely weaken me and eventually, of course, I would die." "But I wouldn't burst into flames." "Not right away, at least." "So I guess we'll never have breakfast together." "I knew you'd come." "Let's go inside." "No, I'm quite certain." "We keep extensive records here." "All the way back to 1958." "Never had anybody by the name of Merlotte here." "And you're sure you're the only nudist colony in the area?" "Naturist community." "We're the first, finest and only clothing-optional sanctuary in all of Jefferson County." "All right." "Thanks very much." "You come visit us, you hear?" "Got a barbecue every month." "Pam, Longshadow and I are partners in this club." "And we recently noticed that $60,000 has gone missing from our books." "And Bruce is our accountant." "Perhaps you can start by listening to him." " He's not saying anything." " Don't be coy." "It's humbling enough to turn to a human for assistance." " We know what you can do." " And I know what you can do too." " Why don't you just glamour him?" " Don't you think we tried everything before summoning you?" "So it would be a great favor to me and to Mr. Compton if you help us." "If I find out who did it, then what?" "We'll turn that person over to the police and let the authorities handle it from there." "Hundreds of years old and you're still a terrible liar." "Come on." "I'll make you a deal." "If you promise to hand over the person who did this to the police I'll agree to help you any time you want." "All right." "Why not?" "Holy shit, what's this crazy bitch doing?" "Why did I agree to work for vampires?" "Goddamn it, I knew it was a bad idea." "I've been straight with these fuckers." "Gotta be an idiot to steal from them." "Jesus Christ, I was the one who reported it." "Bruce, it's okay." "Take a deep breath." "Did you steal their money?" "No." "No, no." "You gotta believe me." "I didn't do it." "I swear to..." "Do you know who did?" "No." "No, I wish." "I would turn that fucker in." "Who was it?" "Couldn't have been Ginger." "She's too dumb." "Although she's hot as shit." "I'd fuck her if I could." "He's telling the truth." "You trust the skinny human to clear the fat one?" "Bring the next one in." "You got cash?" "Are you buying?" "Just remember your lines, that's all I need from you." "I'll handle the rest." " I'm not gonna have to have sex with him?" " I said that I will handle it." "Okay." "I know you probably don't think I'm all that smart, but I do know that that vampire can kill us both before we even get in the door." "You'll handle it." "What the hell is that?" "While the wing nuts on the left keep pushing their so-called  vampire-rights legislation, I'm more concerned with basic human rights." "The right for our sons and daughters to go to school without fear  of molestation by a bloodthirsty predator in the playground  or in the classroom." "Someone has got to take a stand for public safety  over permissiveness and immorality." "If you ask me, he's protesting a little too hard." "Come out of the closet, Reverend Steve." "I know plenty of friendly vampires  who'd like to take a bite out of you." "But truly, it's inflammatory talk from folks like Steve Newlin  who make me ashamed to call myself a human." "Thanks for watching." "We'll be bite back." "Who is it?" "I'm a friend of Lafayette Reynolds." "He sent me for you." " Jesus Christ." " Get his feet." " Are you kidding me?" " Get his feet!" " Okay, okay." " No, please!" " I'll give you anything you want." " Shut up!" " Amy, what the hell?" " No names, dumbass." " I thought we'd take a little blood and go." " Shut the fuck up." " Jeez." " Now, come on, lift." " What?" " Lift him up." "Please!" "No!" "I'll do anything you want." "Please." "This is the last of our humans." "Yummy." "Ginger, this woman has some questions for you." " Be a good girl and answer them, will you?" " Aye, aye, master." "Don't you touch me." "Hold her still." "Ginger, someone's been stealing money from the bar." "Really?" "Don't look at me." "I didn't do nothing." "I'll beat the shit out of you if you say I did." "It wasn't me that took it." "It wasn't me." "She didn't do it but she knows who did." " What?" "Fuck you." "Shit." "How'd she know?" "I didn't tell anyone, I swear." "Fuck, he's gonna kill me." "Who?" "Who's gonna kill you?" "Ginger, honey, what's his name?" "It's blank, like her memory's been erased." "I don't know anything, I swear." " She's been glamoured." " It's a vampire."