"Here'sa challenge." "I want you to believe what I'm about to tell you." "I want you to believe what I'm about to tell you." "Not just hear it, not just what I'm about to tell you." "Not just hear it, not just understand it, but believe it." "Not just hear it, not just understand it, but believe it." "It's a fact that you already understand it, but believe it." "It's a fact that you already know to be true," "It's a fact that you already know to be true, but have never been able know to be true, but have never been able to fully accept." "but have never been able to fully accept." "And it's this:" "to fully accept." "And it's this:" "You are going to die." "And it's this:" "You are going to die." "You, the person listening to me" "You are going to die." "You, the person listening to me right now, are going to die." "It's difficult even to imagine, isn't it?" "Take a moment and try to picture isn't it?" "Take a moment and try to picture what it's like to not exist." "Take a moment and try to picture what it's like to not exist." "You can't do it." "what it's like to not exist." "You can't do it." "You're imagining darkness." "You can't do it." "You're imagining darkness." "Black." "You're imagining darkness." "Black." "But there will be no black." "Black." "But there will be no black." "There will be no color," "But there will be no black." "There will be no color, because there will be no you" "There will be no color, because there will be no you to perceive it." "because there will be no you to perceive it." "And your mind recoils to perceive it." "And your mind recoils from that idea." "And your mind recoils from that idea." "It's simply unable to conceive from that idea." "It's simply unable to conceive of its own nonexistence," "It's simply unable to conceive of its own nonexistence, and so it concludes of its own nonexistence, and so it concludes that it's impossible, and so it concludes that it's impossible, that you'll live forever." "that it's impossible, that you'll live forever." "But you won't." "that you'll live forever." "But you won't." "All things end." "But you won't." "All things end." "All motion slows." "All things end." "All motion slows." "All heat becomes cold." "All motion slows." "All heat becomes cold." "Life is an eddy in that current" "All heat becomes cold." "Life is an eddy in that current of entropy," "Life is an eddy in that current of entropy, a brief chemical reaction that of entropy, a brief chemical reaction that lights up the darkness and then, a brief chemical reaction that lights up the darkness and then, its fuel spent, dissipates back" "lights up the darkness and then, its fuel spent, dissipates back to nothing, just like you will." "its fuel spent, dissipates back to nothing, just like you will." "Your body is a marvelous and to nothing, just like you will." "Your body is a marvelous and intricate machine built out" "Your body is a marvelous and intricate machine built out of millions of interconnected intricate machine built out of millions of interconnected fragile systems, of millions of interconnected fragile systems, and as you age, each begins fragile systems, and as you age, each begins to slowly, but surely," "and as you age, each begins to slowly, but surely, deteriorate and break down." "to slowly, but surely, deteriorate and break down." "When one fails, a doctor may be deteriorate and break down." "When one fails, a doctor may be able to repair it, but at some" "When one fails, a doctor may be able to repair it, but at some point, there will be too many able to repair it, but at some point, there will be too many interlocking failures to" "point, there will be too many interlocking failures to proceed, and like a cascade of interlocking failures to proceed, and like a cascade of dominos, your joints, proceed, and like a cascade of dominos, your joints, your eyes, your heart," "dominos, your joints, your eyes, your heart, your lungs, your memory, your eyes, your heart, your lungs, your memory, your entire body will fail." "your lungs, your memory, your entire body will fail." "It will happen." "your entire body will fail." "It will happen." "And while it's difficult to hear" "It will happen." "And while it's difficult to hear this truth, it is essential that" "And while it's difficult to hear this truth, it is essential that you accept it, this truth, it is essential that you accept it, because every second that goes you accept it, because every second that goes by in which you don't is a" "because every second that goes by in which you don't is a second of your precious by in which you don't is a second of your precious and finite life second of your precious and finite life that you risk wasting." "and finite life that you risk wasting." "So I'm going to say it once that you risk wasting." "So I'm going to say it once more, and this time, try as hard" "So I'm going to say it once more, and this time, try as hard as you can to believe me." "more, and this time, try as hard as you can to believe me." "You, yes, you, will die, and there is nothing you can do to stop it." "How's that?" "you can do to stop it." "How's that?" "Whatthe(bleep)?" "How's that?" "Whatthe(bleep)?" "Toomuch?" "Whatthe(bleep)?" "Toomuch?" "Yeah,that'salot" "Toomuch?" "Yeah,that'salot  for a first date." "Yeah,that'salot  for a first date." "Yeah,maybeIshouldn't for a first date." "Yeah,maybeIshouldn't open with it." "Yeah,maybeIshouldn't open with it." "Also,what'swith open with it." "Also,what'swith the hourglass?" "Also,what'swith the hourglass?" "Do you just carry that thing the hourglass?" "Do you just carry that thing around for dramatic effect?" "Do you just carry that thing around for dramatic effect?" "Yeah." "around for dramatic effect?" "Yeah." "And I use it to boil eggs." "Yeah." "And I use it to boil eggs." "A little heavy-handed, I know." "And I use it to boil eggs." "A little heavy-handed, I know." "Oh,she'shere." "A little heavy-handed, I know." "Oh,she'shere." "So I think that Haylie might" "Oh,she'shere." "So I think that Haylie might actually maybe for some reason" "So I think that Haylie might actually maybe for some reason like you, so ix-nay actually maybe for some reason like you, so ix-nay on the death stuff." "like you, so ix-nay on the death stuff." "Just ask her if she's, like, on the death stuff." "Just ask her if she's, like, a cat person or a dog person." "Just ask her if she's, like, a cat person or a dog person." "I'ma turtleperson." "a cat person or a dog person." "I'ma turtleperson." "Justkeepit light." "I'ma turtleperson." "Justkeepit light." "You know, tell the truth." "Justkeepit light." "You know, tell the truth." "Theawfultruth!" "You know, tell the truth." "Theawfultruth!" "Ugh,no." "No ." "Theawfultruth!" "Ugh,no." "No ." "Just" " Don't be yourself." "Ugh,no." "No ." "Just" " Don't be yourself." "Literally be anyone else" "Just" " Don't be yourself." "Literally be anyone else but yourself." "Literally be anyone else but yourself." "Icando that." "but yourself." "Icando that." "Goodluck." "Icando that." "Goodluck." "Smile." "Hi." "Thereyouare." "SorryI 'mlate." "Thereyouare." "SorryI 'mlate." "I hate when people are late." "SorryI 'mlate." "I hate when people are late." "Metoo." "I hate when people are late." "Metoo." "I was the first to arrive at" "Metoo." "I was the first to arrive at both parties I've attended." "I was the first to arrive at both parties I've attended." "Yeah, yeah, yeah." "both parties I've attended." "Yeah, yeah, yeah." "It's funny." "Yeah, yeah, yeah." "It's funny." "Joke." "Ican'tbelieveI'm  saying this, but I think they might actually" "Holycrow." "Well, I did tell her." "Captions provided by truTV" "I'mafraidwe don'tknow if Emily will ever come out of this coma." "if Emily will ever come out of this coma." "I'm sorry." "Oh,myGod." "Am I gonna die?" "Oh,ofcourse," "Am I gonna die?" "Oh,ofcourse, we all will, one day." "Oh,ofcourse, we all will, one day." "EvenwhenI'mina coma , we all will, one day." "EvenwhenI'mina coma , I can't escape you." "EvenwhenI'mina coma , I can't escape you." "I mean right now." "I can't escape you." "I mean right now." "Honestly,I don'tknow." "I mean right now." "Honestly,I don'tknow." "You..." "Honestly,I don'tknow." "You..." "But I have so much I want to do." "You..." "But I have so much I want to do." "I'm getting married in three" "But I have so much I want to do." "I'm getting married in three months and I want to raise" "I'm getting married in three months and I want to raise a family, and one day, I really months and I want to raise a family, and one day, I really want to meet UFC Bantamweight" "a family, and one day, I really want to meet UFC Bantamweight champion Ronda Rousey." "want to meet UFC Bantamweight champion Ronda Rousey." "I don't wanna die!" "champion Ronda Rousey." "I don't wanna die!" "Butyouwill." "I don't wanna die!" "Butyouwill." "Death is inevitable," "Butyouwill." "Death is inevitable, and it's vitally important" "Death is inevitable, and it's vitally important that you accept that." "and it's vitally important that you accept that." "No,mm-mm." "that you accept that." "No,mm-mm." "Not me, not this girl." "No,mm-mm." "Not me, not this girl." "I'm gonna wake up from this coma" "Not me, not this girl." "I'm gonna wake up from this coma and go back to my life, and then" "I'm gonna wake up from this coma and go back to my life, and then by the time I'm old, and go back to my life, and then by the time I'm old, we'll have cured death" "by the time I'm old, we'll have cured death and people will be immortal!" "we'll have cured death and people will be immortal!" "Google's working on it." "and people will be immortal!" "Google's working on it." "Thatisacompletefantasy." "Google's working on it." "Thatisacompletefantasy." "People have been trying to cure" "Thatisacompletefantasy." "People have been trying to cure death for millennia," "People have been trying to cure death for millennia, and it's never worked." "In 210 B.C., the first emperor of China dosed himself with what he thought were of China dosed himself with what he thought were "immortality pills."" "he thought were "immortality pills." Theyweremercurypills." ""immortality pills." Theyweremercurypills." "I died real quick." "Theyweremercurypills." "I died real quick." "Andintheninthcentury," "I died real quick." "Andintheninthcentury, an alchemist who was trying" "Andintheninthcentury, an alchemist who was trying to brew an "immortality" potion an alchemist who was trying to brew an "immortality" potion made a wee bit of an error." "to brew an "immortality" potion made a wee bit of an error." "Thisflammablepowderwill made a wee bit of an error." "Thisflammablepowderwill save millions of lives." "Thisflammablepowderwill save millions of lives." "Heactuallyinvented save millions of lives." "Heactuallyinvented gunpowder." "Heactuallyinvented gunpowder." "Thanks to his quest for eternal gunpowder." "Thanks to his quest for eternal life, millions have been" "Thanks to his quest for eternal life, millions have been shot dead." "life, millions have been shot dead." "Well,we'rewaycloser shot dead." "Well,we'rewaycloser to immortality now." "Well,we'rewaycloser to immortality now." "What about chryonics?" "to immortality now." "What about chryonics?" "I can freeze my body so it can" "What about chryonics?" "I can freeze my body so it can be revived later." "I can freeze my body so it can be revived later." "That'smedicallydoubtful, be revived later." "That'smedicallydoubtful, and it assumes that the company" "That'smedicallydoubtful, and it assumes that the company that freezes you is gonna be and it assumes that the company that freezes you is gonna be around that long." "that freezes you is gonna be around that long." "In one famous case, the around that long." "In one famous case, the Chryonics Society of California" "In one famous case, the Chryonics Society of California ran out of money and couldn't" "Chryonics Society of California ran out of money and couldn't keep their customers frozen." "ran out of money and couldn't keep their customers frozen." "No... keep their customers frozen." "No..." "Thebodiesbegantothaw" "No..." "Thebodiesbegantothaw  and decompose." "Thebodiesbegantothaw  and decompose." "No,no,no ." "and decompose." "No,no,no ." "Thensomeof thebodieswent" "No,no,no ." "Thensomeof thebodieswent  missing, and to this day, their" "Thensomeof thebodieswent  missing, and to this day, their families still don't know missing, and to this day, their families still don't know where they went." "families still don't know where they went." "No,no,no ,no ,no !" "where they went." "No,no,no ,no ,no !" "Uh,hey,Pete,dowestill" "No,no,no ,no ,no !" "Uh,hey,Pete,dowestill  have that extra large" "Uh,hey,Pete,dowestill  have that extra large beer cooler?" "Okay,well,Ifollowabunch  of futurists on Twitter." "I have a very eclectic feed." "of futurists on Twitter." "I have a very eclectic feed." "And they believe that one day," "I have a very eclectic feed." "And they believe that one day, we'll be able to upload our" "And they believe that one day, we'll be able to upload our brains onto computers." "we'll be able to upload our brains onto computers." "That'sridiculous." "First of all, your brain is a physical organ." "That's like saying you could is a physical organ." "That's like saying you could upload your liver" "That's like saying you could upload your liver onto a computer." "upload your liver onto a computer." "And secondly, even if you could, onto a computer." "And secondly, even if you could, your consciousness wouldn't" "And secondly, even if you could, your consciousness wouldn't teleport onto the computer." "your consciousness wouldn't teleport onto the computer." "You just have created a pretty teleport onto the computer." "You just have created a pretty accurate A.I." "You just have created a pretty accurate A.I. simulation of yourself." "accurate A.I. simulation of yourself." "Ah,eternallife." "simulation of yourself." "Ah,eternallife." "Ah,eternallife." "Ah,eternallife." "Ah,eternallife." "Wait." "Ah,eternallife." "Wait." "I'm--I'm still dying." "Wait." "I'm--I'm still dying." "I'm still here." "I'm--I'm still dying." "I'm still here." "Itdoesn'tworkthatway." "I'm still here." "Itdoesn'tworkthatway." "I'm basically Siri." "Itdoesn'tworkthatway." "I'm basically Siri." "Thispieceof crap!" "I'm basically Siri." "Thispieceof crap!" "We'veneverbeenabletostop" "Thispieceof crap!" "We'veneverbeenabletostop death, and we never will." "Okay,fine." "You win, I will die, one day." "But..." "You win, I will die, one day." "But..." "Why does it have to be today?" "I'msorry." "Let me try to cheer you up." "You know, I always go shopping" "Let me try to cheer you up." "You know, I always go shopping when I'm down." "You know, I always go shopping when I'm down." "Iguessthatsounds when I'm down." "Iguessthatsounds like a good distraction." "Iguessthatsounds like a good distraction." "Shoppingforcaskets." "like a good distraction." "Shoppingforcaskets." "Thiswouldneverhappen" "Shoppingforcaskets." "Thiswouldneverhappen to Ronda Rousey." "Whatdoyouthink his last words were?" "Probably" whoops,"or"ouch."" "his last words were?" "Probably" whoops,"or"ouch." The concept of "last words" is" "Probably" whoops,"or"ouch." The concept of "last words" is as silly as the rest of this." "The concept of "last words" is as silly as the rest of this." "Wait,areyoutrying as silly as the rest of this." "Wait,areyoutrying to ruin funerals?" "Wait,areyoutrying to ruin funerals?" "This is how people grieve." "to ruin funerals?" "This is how people grieve." "Yeah." "This is how people grieve." "Yeah." "Which is why it's so tragic that" "Yeah." "Which is why it's so tragic that the American funeral industry" "Which is why it's so tragic that the American funeral industry needlessly exploits the American funeral industry needlessly exploits that grief for profit." "needlessly exploits that grief for profit." "Case in point, the expensive and that grief for profit." "Case in point, the expensive and useless process of embalming," "Case in point, the expensive and useless process of embalming, which was popularized useless process of embalming, which was popularized during the Civil War." "which was popularized during the Civil War." "After Lincoln was assassinated, during the Civil War." "After Lincoln was assassinated, the government paraded his" "After Lincoln was assassinated, the government paraded his corpse around the country in the government paraded his corpse around the country in order to showcase the hero's corpse around the country in order to showcase the hero's sacrifice, but that's not what" "order to showcase the hero's sacrifice, but that's not what the people took away from it." "sacrifice, but that's not what the people took away from it." "Oh,mygosh,Abe has been the people took away from it." "Oh,mygosh,Abe has been dead for weeks and he still" "Oh,mygosh,Abe has been dead for weeks and he still looks fly as hell." "dead for weeks and he still looks fly as hell." "Honestly,anyonewhois looks fly as hell." "Honestly,anyonewhois anyone gets pumped" "Honestly,anyonewhois anyone gets pumped full of chemicals." "anyone gets pumped full of chemicals." "Butforthoseofuswhose  full of chemicals." "Butforthoseofuswhose  bodies aren't going on tour," "Butforthoseofuswhose  bodies aren't going on tour, embalming is totally pointless." "bodies aren't going on tour, embalming is totally pointless." "Why would you need to be embalming is totally pointless." "Why would you need to be preserved right before they" "Why would you need to be preserved right before they bury you in the dirt?" "preserved right before they bury you in the dirt?" "Isn't the whole point bury you in the dirt?" "Isn't the whole point to decompose?" "Isn't the whole point to decompose?" "Excuseme." "to decompose?" "Excuseme." "Embalming gives dignity" "Excuseme." "Embalming gives dignity to the deceased." "Embalming gives dignity to the deceased." "Yes,it'srespectful." "to the deceased." "Yes,it'srespectful." "Respectful?" "Yes,it'srespectful." "Respectful?" "What do you think embalming is?" "Respectful?" "What do you think embalming is?" "It'slikeaspa day ." "What do you think embalming is?" "It'slikeaspa day ." "For a dead body." "It'slikeaspa day ." "For a dead body." "Exactly,don'tcorrecther ." "For a dead body." "Exactly,don'tcorrecther ." "Embalmingistheleast" "Exactly,don'tcorrecther ." "Embalmingistheleast respectful thing you" "Embalmingistheleast respectful thing you could do to a body." "respectful thing you could do to a body." "First, the jaw is wired shut." "could do to a body." "First, the jaw is wired shut." "The eyes are sealed with glue," "First, the jaw is wired shut." "The eyes are sealed with glue, then the internal organs are" "The eyes are sealed with glue, then the internal organs are punctured and drained through then the internal organs are punctured and drained through a hole in the abdomen." "punctured and drained through a hole in the abdomen." "After that, they pump the a hole in the abdomen." "After that, they pump the arteries full of formaldehyde," "After that, they pump the arteries full of formaldehyde, and stuff the internal cavities arteries full of formaldehyde, and stuff the internal cavities full of cotton." "and stuff the internal cavities full of cotton." "Okay,stop!" "full of cotton." "Okay,stop!" "Enough, enough, enough." "Okay,stop!" "Enough, enough, enough." "I don't want to puke in front" "Enough, enough, enough." "I don't want to puke in front of a dead body." "I don't want to puke in front of a dead body." "Fairenough." "of a dead body." "Fairenough." "But the entire process is a" "Fairenough." "But the entire process is a pointless waste of time, because" "But the entire process is a pointless waste of time, because even though funeral directors pointless waste of time, because even though funeral directors tell their vulnerable, even though funeral directors tell their vulnerable, grieving customers... tell their vulnerable, grieving customers..." "Embalmingisnecessaryifyou grieving customers..." "Embalmingisnecessaryifyou want an open casket." "Embalmingisnecessaryifyou want an open casket." "And... want an open casket." "And..." "Itkeepsthebody" "And..." "Itkeepsthebody safe and sanitary." "Itkeepsthebody safe and sanitary." "Noneofit is true." "safe and sanitary." "Noneofit is true." "Refrigeration is cheaper and" "Noneofit is true." "Refrigeration is cheaper and just as effective as embalming." "Refrigeration is cheaper and just as effective as embalming." "The World Health Organization just as effective as embalming." "The World Health Organization states that dead bodies pose" "The World Health Organization states that dead bodies pose nearly no health risks states that dead bodies pose nearly no health risks to the living." "nearly no health risks to the living." "It's completely safe to the living." "It's completely safe to touch them." "It's completely safe to touch them." "Here, watch!" "to touch them." "Here, watch!" "Adam!" "Here, watch!" "Adam!" "That's weird." "Adam!" "That's weird." "Yeah,butit 'sstillsafe," "That's weird." "Yeah,butit 'sstillsafe, which is ironic, because" "Yeah,butit 'sstillsafe, which is ironic, because formaldehyde isn't safe." "which is ironic, because formaldehyde isn't safe." "It's a carcinogen." "formaldehyde isn't safe." "It's a carcinogen." "Whydowe stilldothis ?" "It's a carcinogen." "Whydowe stilldothis ?" "Justonereason." "Whydowe stilldothis ?" "Justonereason." "These guys charge a graveload" "Justonereason." "These guys charge a graveload of money to do it." "These guys charge a graveload of money to do it." "Let'snottalkabout of money to do it." "Let'snottalkabout the bodies so much." "Let'snottalkabout the bodies so much." "Let's talk about how beautiful the bodies so much." "Let's talk about how beautiful this casket is." "Let's talk about how beautiful this casket is." "Yeah,itbetterbebeautiful." "this casket is." "Yeah,itbetterbebeautiful." "It's one of the most expensive" "Yeah,itbetterbebeautiful." "It's one of the most expensive things you'll ever buy." "It's one of the most expensive things you'll ever buy." "Funeral homes can charge upwards things you'll ever buy." "Funeral homes can charge upwards of ten grand for a coffin." "Funeral homes can charge upwards of ten grand for a coffin." "Thelidis titaniumsteel, of ten grand for a coffin." "Thelidis titaniumsteel, it's lined with mink fur and it" "Thelidis titaniumsteel, it's lined with mink fur and it comes with free WiFi." "it's lined with mink fur and it comes with free WiFi." "It's what Pop-Pop comes with free WiFi." "It's what Pop-Pop would have wanted." "It's what Pop-Pop would have wanted." "Doyouhave would have wanted." "Doyouhave any cheaper options?" "Doyouhave any cheaper options?" "Well,forthosewho don 't any cheaper options?" "Well,forthosewho don 't love their Pop-Pop, we do have" "Well,forthosewho don 't love their Pop-Pop, we do have this "My Loved One Deserved love their Pop-Pop, we do have this "My Loved One Deserved to Die" model." "this "My Loved One Deserved to Die" model." "You will need to decide quickly, to Die" model." "You will need to decide quickly, the funeral is tomorrow." "You will need to decide quickly, the funeral is tomorrow." "Pop-Popwouldhave the funeral is tomorrow." "Pop-Popwouldhave wanted the WiFi." "Pop-Popwouldhave wanted the WiFi." "I'msosorryfor yourloss ." "wanted the WiFi." "I'msosorryfor yourloss ." "Hell,youmightaswell be" "I'msosorryfor yourloss ." "Hell,youmightaswell be buried with $10,000 in cash." "Hell,youmightaswell be buried with $10,000 in cash." "♪Moneymoney♪ buried with $10,000 in cash." "♪Moneymoney♪ Well,it'snicetosupport" "♪Moneymoney♪ Well,it'snicetosupport local businesses." "Well,it'snicetosupport local businesses." "Actually,a lotof "local"" "local businesses." "Actually,a lotof "local" funeral homes are owned by a" "Actually,a lotof "local" funeral homes are owned by a mega corporation named SCI that funeral homes are owned by a mega corporation named SCI that buys up mom and pop shops, mega corporation named SCI that buys up mom and pop shops, but keeps the old name," "buys up mom and pop shops, but keeps the old name, so no one notices." "but keeps the old name, so no one notices." "They really are a cash cow." "so no one notices." "They really are a cash cow." "Theycan'tmake" "They really are a cash cow." "Theycan'tmake that much money." "Theycan'tmake that much money." "Well,maybeyou'dbelieve that much money." "Well,maybeyou'dbelieve SCI treasurer Aaron Foley," "Well,maybeyou'dbelieve SCI treasurer Aaron Foley, who told investors," "SCI treasurer Aaron Foley, who told investors, we really are a cash cow." "who told investors, we really are a cash cow." "♪It'sallaboutthemoney ♪ we really are a cash cow." "♪It'sallaboutthemoney ♪ Butwhat'sthealternative?" "♪It'sallaboutthemoney ♪ Butwhat'sthealternative?" "Throw all the dead people in a" "Butwhat'sthealternative?" "Throw all the dead people in a pile and leave them there and" "Throw all the dead people in a pile and leave them there and charge admission to see it?" "pile and leave them there and charge admission to see it?" "Notexactly." "charge admission to see it?" "Notexactly." "You could choose cremation," "Notexactly." "You could choose cremation, but another, maybe even better" "You could choose cremation, but another, maybe even better option, is natural burial." "but another, maybe even better option, is natural burial." "Ahh!" "option, is natural burial." "Ahh!" "Who is this?" "Are we related?" "Ahh!" "Who is this?" "Are we related?" "Are you my ghost?" "Who is this?" "Are we related?" "Are you my ghost?" "No,Emily,thisis" "Are you my ghost?" "No,Emily,thisis Caitlin Doughty, she's a" "No,Emily,thisis Caitlin Doughty, she's a licensed mortician and an advocate for natural burial." "Innaturalburial,wediga  hole in the ground and place the body in in just a shroud, no chemical embalming, no heavy metal casket, no chemical embalming, no heavy metal casket, no concrete-lined vault." "no heavy metal casket, no concrete-lined vault." "Isthissafe?" "no concrete-lined vault." "Isthissafe?" "It'scompletelysafe." "Isthissafe?" "It'scompletelysafe." "Humans have been burying their" "It'scompletelysafe." "Humans have been burying their bodies like this for tens of" "Humans have been burying their bodies like this for tens of thousands of years." "bodies like this for tens of thousands of years." "But when the funeral thousands of years." "But when the funeral industry started," "But when the funeral industry started, it really took the power away industry started, it really took the power away from the grieving families." "it really took the power away from the grieving families." "I think that my job as from the grieving families." "I think that my job as a mortician should just be to" "I think that my job as a mortician should just be to facilitate you taking the power a mortician should just be to facilitate you taking the power around the time of death." "facilitate you taking the power around the time of death." "You can be involved as much or around the time of death." "You can be involved as much or as little as you want to be," "You can be involved as much or as little as you want to be, but it can be a really intimate as little as you want to be, but it can be a really intimate and beautiful way to say goodbye" "but it can be a really intimate and beautiful way to say goodbye to someone you love." "and beautiful way to say goodbye to someone you love." "Thisisreallynice." "to someone you love." "Thisisreallynice." "Thank you, Caitlin." "Thisisreallynice." "Thank you, Caitlin." "You know, I think this" "Thank you, Caitlin." "You know, I think this is what I want." "You know, I think this is what I want." "That'sgreat." "is what I want." "That'sgreat." "But you won't get it." "That'sgreat." "But you won't get it." "See?" "But you won't get it." "See?" "Because you didn't confront your" "See?" "Because you didn't confront your mortality and decide how you'd" "Because you didn't confront your mortality and decide how you'd want to be buried while you were mortality and decide how you'd want to be buried while you were still alive, Murph will probably want to be buried while you were still alive, Murph will probably bankrupt himself getting you" "still alive, Murph will probably bankrupt himself getting you a regular funeral." "bankrupt himself getting you a regular funeral." "Aw,man." "a regular funeral." "Aw,man." "Infact,becauseyou didn't" "Aw,man." "Infact,becauseyou didn't plan ahead, everything about" "Infact,becauseyou didn't plan ahead, everything about your death will suck, and I'll plan ahead, everything about your death will suck, and I'll explain why right after this." "your death will suck, and I'll explain why right after this." "IknowI'mliterallydying, explain why right after this." "IknowI'mliterallydying, but you are the worst" "IknowI'mliterallydying, but you are the worst part of my day." "He'ssothoughtful." "Death is so hard." "Yeah,itis ." "Death is so hard." "Yeah,itis ." "That's why it's so important" "Yeah,itis ." "That's why it's so important that you accept that one day," "That's why it's so important that you accept that one day, you will grow old and die." "that you accept that one day, you will grow old and die." "If you don't, you will grow old and die." "If you don't, you'll end up making terrible" "If you don't, you'll end up making terrible medical decisions." "you'll end up making terrible medical decisions." "Ithoughtyourshowwas medical decisions." "Ithoughtyourshowwas supposed to be a comedy." "Ithoughtyourshowwas supposed to be a comedy." "Well,thelinebetweencomedy supposed to be a comedy." "Well,thelinebetweencomedy and drama has blurred" "Well,thelinebetweencomedy and drama has blurred in recent decades." "and drama has blurred in recent decades." "You know, if you look at-- in recent decades." "You know, if you look at-- Getonwithit." "You know, if you look at-- Getonwithit." "Right-o!" "Hey,Adam." "I wondered when you guys were gonna show up." "I wondered when you guys were gonna show up." "Emily." "this is Dr. Bud Hammes." "He's the director of Respecting Choices for" "He's the director of Respecting Choices for Gundersen Health System." "Basically, he helps doctors have end-of-life conversations with their patients." "end-of-life conversations with their patients." "I'mgladyouguysarehere." "with their patients." "I'mgladyouguysarehere." "I have a story to tell you." "I'mgladyouguysarehere." "I have a story to tell you." "Oh,thisis my favoritebook!" "I have a story to tell you." "Oh,thisis my favoritebook!" "It's about how I get prostate" "Oh,thisis my favoritebook!" "It's about how I get prostate cancer and die." "It's about how I get prostate cancer and die." "You know, one in seven American cancer and die." "You know, one in seven American men gets prostate cancer." "You know, one in seven American men gets prostate cancer." "Prostatecancer." "men gets prostate cancer." "Prostatecancer." "I know, you tell me every time" "Prostatecancer." "I know, you tell me every time we hang out." "I know, you tell me every time we hang out." "Did you write a book we hang out." "Did you write a book about your own death?" "Did you write a book about your own death?" "Ithelpsmakethe point." "about your own death?" "Ithelpsmakethe point." "Would you read it to us, Bud?" "Ithelpsmakethe point." "Would you read it to us, Bud?" "I'dbedelighted" "Would you read it to us, Bud?" "I'dbedelighted to read it to you." "I'dbedelighted to read it to you." "So here's the problem." "to read it to you." "So here's the problem." "Patients and their doctors most" "So here's the problem." "Patients and their doctors most often don't have conversations" "Patients and their doctors most often don't have conversations about when the burdens of often don't have conversations about when the burdens of treatment would be so high, about when the burdens of treatment would be so high, they wouldn't outweigh" "treatment would be so high, they wouldn't outweigh the benefits of treatment." "they wouldn't outweigh the benefits of treatment." "Ifyoucan'tfacehavingan the benefits of treatment." "Ifyoucan'tfacehavingan honest conversation about death" "Ifyoucan'tfacehavingan honest conversation about death with your doctor, you can end up honest conversation about death with your doctor, you can end up chasing unnecessary treatments with your doctor, you can end up chasing unnecessary treatments that do very little to prolong" "chasing unnecessary treatments that do very little to prolong your life and just make your that do very little to prolong your life and just make your final days really uncomfortable." "your life and just make your final days really uncomfortable." "Mr.Conover, final days really uncomfortable." "Mr.Conover, the cancer has spread." "Mr.Conover, the cancer has spread." "I think it's time we discuss-- the cancer has spread." "I think it's time we discuss-- Idon'twanttohear it!" "I think it's time we discuss-- Idon'twanttohear it!" "I'm a fighter, damn it!" "Idon'twanttohear it!" "I'm a fighter, damn it!" "Give me every dangerous" "I'm a fighter, damn it!" "Give me every dangerous chemical you got!" "Give me every dangerous chemical you got!" "Where are the drugs?" "chemical you got!" "Where are the drugs?" "Give it to me!" "Where are the drugs?" "Give it to me!" "I'm gonna live forever!" "Give it to me!" "I'm gonna live forever!" "Ha ha!" "I'm gonna live forever!" "Ha ha!" "Because I couldn't accept the" "Ha ha!" "Because I couldn't accept the truth, I died in a hospital," "Because I couldn't accept the truth, I died in a hospital, barely conscious, in a whole lot truth, I died in a hospital, barely conscious, in a whole lot of pain, when I could have" "barely conscious, in a whole lot of pain, when I could have chosen to die at home, of pain, when I could have chosen to die at home, surrounded by my family." "chosen to die at home, surrounded by my family." "Adam,I thinkI'mtelling surrounded by my family." "Adam,I thinkI'mtelling this story." "Adam,I thinkI'mtelling this story." "I'msorry." "this story." "I'msorry." "I know it by heart." "I'msorry." "I know it by heart." "SoEmily," "I know it by heart." "SoEmily, now is the time to make these" "SoEmily, now is the time to make these plans for future now is the time to make these plans for future healthcare decisions." "plans for future healthcare decisions." "It's a time to talk with your healthcare decisions." "It's a time to talk with your family about your values," "It's a time to talk with your family about your values, your preferences and your goals, family about your values, your preferences and your goals, so they don't end up guessing your preferences and your goals, so they don't end up guessing when they make your decisions." "so they don't end up guessing when they make your decisions." "Imean,Iwouldn'tmind that ." "when they make your decisions." "Imean,Iwouldn'tmind that ." "Murph's my fiancé." "Imean,Iwouldn'tmind that ." "Murph's my fiancé." "He would know what I want." "Murph's my fiancé." "He would know what I want." "That'sanunderstandable" "He would know what I want." "That'sanunderstandable point of view." "That'sanunderstandable point of view." "A lot of people think that." "point of view." "A lot of people think that." "But the research is very clear." "A lot of people think that." "But the research is very clear." "When families don't have these" "But the research is very clear." "When families don't have these conversations, the family" "When families don't have these conversations, the family members are no better than conversations, the family members are no better than strangers at making members are no better than strangers at making these decisions." "strangers at making these decisions." "They end up guessing." "these decisions." "They end up guessing." "Andthatcanbereally," "They end up guessing." "Andthatcanbereally, really hard on them." "Andthatcanbereally, really hard on them." "Dadwouldn'twanttosuffer." "really hard on them." "Dadwouldn'twanttosuffer." "Pull the damn plug." "Dadwouldn'twanttosuffer." "Pull the damn plug." "I'dfeelto guilty" "Pull the damn plug." "I'dfeelto guilty to let him die." "I'dfeelto guilty to let him die." "Keep him hooked up forever!" "to let him die." "Keep him hooked up forever!" "Ithinkwe shouldeat him ." "Keep him hooked up forever!" "Ithinkwe shouldeat him ." "That'd be the most efficient." "Ithinkwe shouldeat him ." "That'd be the most efficient." "Sometimestheconflictsare" "That'd be the most efficient." "Sometimestheconflictsare  so severe, I don't know that" "Sometimestheconflictsare  so severe, I don't know that the family will ever talk so severe, I don't know that the family will ever talk to each other again." "the family will ever talk to each other again." "Thatissuchahard  to each other again." "Thatissuchahard  conversation to have." "Thatissuchahard  conversation to have." "I mean, I don't-- conversation to have." "I mean, I don't-- I don't know where" "I mean, I don't-- I don't know where I would begin." "I don't know where I would begin." "SoEmily,thereare three" "I would begin." "SoEmily,thereare three simple questions everyone" "SoEmily,thereare three simple questions everyone should consider." "simple questions everyone should consider." "The first is, if you couldn't should consider." "The first is, if you couldn't make your own decisions," "The first is, if you couldn't make your own decisions, who would make decisions make your own decisions, who would make decisions on your behalf?" "who would make decisions on your behalf?" "Kids,ifIweretoever on your behalf?" "Kids,ifIweretoever become so sick that I couldn't" "Kids,ifIweretoever become so sick that I couldn't decide on my own care, become so sick that I couldn't decide on my own care, I would want your mother decide on my own care, I would want your mother Haylie to decide." "I would want your mother Haylie to decide." "YoumarriedHaylie?" "Haylie to decide." "YoumarriedHaylie?" "It'smystorybook,Ican" "YoumarriedHaylie?" "It'smystorybook,Ican write it however I want." "It'smystorybook,Ican write it however I want." "Thesecondis ,if yousuffer write it however I want." "Thesecondis ,if yousuffer a serious and permanent brain" "Thesecondis ,if yousuffer a serious and permanent brain injury, how bad would it a serious and permanent brain injury, how bad would it have to be for you to change injury, how bad would it have to be for you to change your goals of care?" "have to be for you to change your goals of care?" "Well,I wouldn'twanttobe your goals of care?" "Well,I wouldn'twanttobe kept alive if I was brain dead," "Well,I wouldn'twanttobe kept alive if I was brain dead, which I guess right now, kept alive if I was brain dead, which I guess right now, I might be." "which I guess right now, I might be." "Thethirdquestionis, doyou" "I might be." "Thethirdquestionis, doyou have any strongly-held values or" "Thethirdquestionis, doyou have any strongly-held values or beliefs that would influence how have any strongly-held values or beliefs that would influence how medical decisions might be made?" "beliefs that would influence how medical decisions might be made?" "Um... medical decisions might be made?" "Um..." "I don't know, honestly, these" "Um..." "I don't know, honestly, these are really tough questions" "I don't know, honestly, these are really tough questions to field right now." "are really tough questions to field right now." "Well,you'reright,Emily, to field right now." "Well,you'reright,Emily, they are hard to answer." "Well,you'reright,Emily, they are hard to answer." "That's why in La Crosse, they are hard to answer." "That's why in La Crosse, Wisconsin, we decided to" "That's why in La Crosse, Wisconsin, we decided to approach all of our patients and" "Wisconsin, we decided to approach all of our patients and offer them the opportunity to do approach all of our patients and offer them the opportunity to do this planning, that way families offer them the opportunity to do this planning, that way families have the confidence that" "this planning, that way families have the confidence that they made the right decisions." "Didyoueverhavea conversation like that with Murph?" "conversation like that with Murph?" "No,I neverthoughtaboutit with Murph?" "No,I neverthoughtaboutit before today." "No,I neverthoughtaboutit before today." "Well,thedecisionisyours." "Idon'tknowwhattodo ." "I don't know what she wants." "Ihatethis." "I don't know what she wants." "Ihatethis." "Deathwillalwaysbea" "Ihatethis." "Deathwillalwaysbea  terrible loss, but if you can" "Deathwillalwaysbea  terrible loss, but if you can accept its inevitability, terrible loss, but if you can accept its inevitability, it makes the whole process accept its inevitability, it makes the whole process a lot easier." "Iknow." "I know what I want." "I know what I want here." "I know what I want." "I know what I want here." "I'm going to die." "I know what I want here." "I'm going to die." "I didn't want it to be now," "I'm going to die." "I didn't want it to be now, but... it's going to be." "Yousure?" "Yeah,I don't-- I don't want to be unconscious" "Yeah,I don't-- I don't want to be unconscious on a hospital bed forever, and" "I don't want to be unconscious on a hospital bed forever, and if I leave the decision up to on a hospital bed forever, and if I leave the decision up to Murph, you know, no matter what" "if I leave the decision up to Murph, you know, no matter what he chooses, he'll never feel" "Murph, you know, no matter what he chooses, he'll never feel like he made the right choice." "I" "I don'tknow,Em." "It'sokay." "I'm okay." "It'sokay." "I'm okay." "This is right." "It's been fun, Adam." "Yeah?" "MorethanIliketoadmit ." "Okay." "Okay." "ItlookslikeEmily decided for you." "I'm sorry." "decided for you." "I'm sorry." "Oh,God." "I'm sorry." "Oh,God." "Tonight I was gonna surprise her" "Oh,God." "Tonight I was gonna surprise her and take her to a Ronda Rousey" "Tonight I was gonna surprise her and take her to a Ronda Rousey meet-and-greet." "and take her to a Ronda Rousey meet-and-greet." "Wait,what?" "meet-and-greet." "Wait,what?" "Ronda Rousey meet-and-greet?" "Wait,what?" "Ronda Rousey meet-and-greet?" "Oh,myGod." "Ronda Rousey meet-and-greet?" "Oh,myGod." "She's awake." "Oh,myGod." "She's awake." "Emily,you'realive!" "She's awake." "Emily,you'realive!" "I love you so much." "Emily,you'realive!" "I love you so much." "Iloveyou." "I love you so much." "Iloveyou." "Iloveyou,too ." "Iloveyou." "Iloveyou,too ." "Icameas soonasI could." "Iloveyou,too ." "Icameas soonasI could." "Oh,Haylie." "Icameas soonasI could." "Oh,Haylie." "Oh,yeah,you'reawake" "Oh,Haylie." "Oh,yeah,you'reawake-- Whoops!" "Holycrow." "She dead." "Weareheretodayto celebrate the life of Haylie." ""Thou shalt show me celebrate the life of Haylie." ""Thou shalt show me "the path to life." ""Thou shalt show me "the path to life." ""In thy presence is the fullness" ""the path to life." ""In thy presence is the fullness "of love, in thy mercy," ""In thy presence is the fullness "of love, in thy mercy, by all of God's"" ""of love, in thy mercy, by all of God's"-- Funeralsareverywasteful!" "by all of God's"-- Funeralsareverywasteful!" "No, I'm not sad." "Funeralsareverywasteful!" "No, I'm not sad." "I'm spreading the truth" "No, I'm not sad." "I'm spreading the truth to the masses." "I'm spreading the truth to the masses." "That coffin's too expensive!" "to the masses." "That coffin's too expensive!" "The markup's insane," "That coffin's too expensive!" "The markup's insane, it's a scam." "The markup's insane, it's a scam." "Adam,stop." "it's a scam." "Adam,stop." "Okay?" "Adam,stop." "Okay?" "It's okay to grieve." "Okay?" "It's okay to grieve." "I'm sad, too." "It's okay to grieve." "I'm sad, too." "There'sgotto be something" "I'm sad, too." "There'sgotto be something I can learn to make this better." "Idon'tthinkthereis." "I'mscaredto die." "Well,whataboutall that accepting death stuff?" "Well,whataboutall that accepting death stuff?" "Itdoesn'tmakeit accepting death stuff?" "Itdoesn'tmakeit less frightening." "Itdoesn'tmakeit less frightening." "It doesn't-- less frightening." "It doesn't-- It doesn't make any sense." "It doesn't-- It doesn't make any sense." "What is it for?" "It doesn't make any sense." "What is it for?" "What do you do?" "What is it for?" "What do you do?" "What are you supposed to do" "What do you do?" "What are you supposed to do when a person dies?" "Idon'tknow." "But..." "It's okay not to know." "It'sokaynottoknow ." "Yeah,it'sokaynot toknow ." "Sometimes you don't know, and you may never know, and that's okay." "Come on, let's get you out of here." "Let's go for a walk." "Oh, thanks." "It's this dumb cane." "Do you want to ruin" "It's this dumb cane." "Do you want to ruin something for me?" "Do you want to ruin something for me?" "Maybe that would cheer you up." "something for me?" "Maybe that would cheer you up." "Oh,no." "Maybe that would cheer you up." "Oh,no." "Imean,Ibelievealot of" "Oh,no." "Imean,Ibelievealot of really dumb stuff, you know," "Imean,Ibelievealot of really dumb stuff, you know, like pop rocks and Coke?" "really dumb stuff, you know, like pop rocks and Coke?" "That's dangerous." "like pop rocks and Coke?" "That's dangerous." "You know, and the moon landing?" "That's dangerous." "You know, and the moon landing?" "Never happened." "You know, and the moon landing?" "Never happened." "And also the Illuminati, I" "Never happened." "And also the Illuminati, I-- I'mreallynotinthemood" "And also the Illuminati, I-- I'mreallynotinthemood right now." "I'mreallynotinthemood right now." "Sorry." "right now." "Sorry." "Okay." "Hey,how's-- How's wedding planning going?" "It's pretty good." "How's wedding planning going?" "It's pretty good." "It's very busy." "It's pretty good." "It's very busy." "I'msure." "It's very busy." "I'msure." "I'm really, really looking" "I'msure." "I'm really, really looking forward to it." "I'm really, really looking forward to it." "Yeah." "forward to it." "Yeah." "YouandMurphare the best." "Yeah." "YouandMurphare the best." "Aww." "YouandMurphare the best." "Aww." "Yeah." "Aww." "Yeah." "You know, a lot of wedding traditions are, like, really arbitrary." "Yeah?" "really arbitrary." "Yeah?" "I'm sure." "Yeah?" "I'm sure." "Oh,yeah." "I'm sure." "Oh,yeah." "Oh, I even read this" "Oh,yeah." "Oh, I even read this article about it..." "Oh, I even read this article about it..." "♪"