"Under our congressional charter, we must inform your agency of any... potentially catastrophic consequences in our research." "Dr. Roberts, it makes me shudder just to say it... but it sounds like you're talking about germ warfare." "Precisely why your Col. Trevor wanted you informed." "Actually, Miss Prince, it began as part of our anti-germ warfare efforts." "But something went wrong." "And now we've got" "Potentially catastrophic consequences." "If you don't mind, I'd like to see what could cause those consequences." "In a hurry, George?" "It's a totally new virus." "Slimy green byproduct of our artificial microbe program." "Harmless in a vacuum." "But when airborne, it attacks host tissue and destroys red cells." "Death is almost instantaneous." " Death?" " Yes." "Two weeks ago, five of my colleagues found out the hard way." "Potentially catastrophic consequences." "Until we find an antidote, no living creature is truly safe." "As you can see, few people have access to..." "Good Lord." "It's gone!" "What are you doing with the virus?" "Wait." "George!" " Stop that man!" " Hold it right there." "I'll drop you." "Don't shoot." "Now calm down, George." "Please, don't shoot!" "Or we'll all be sorry." "In that test tube are deadly pathogens." "If he drops the vial and the seal breaks... every human being within 3 miles will die." "She's right." "Put your gun down." "Please put it back." "We've worked together assisting Dr. Roberts... for over two years now." "You're jeopardizing hundreds of thousands of lives." "Innocent people." "Think of them." "I'd be curious to know its composition." " Could be our best lead." " Doctor, it's our only lead." "Poor George." "What do you think has happened to him?" "Here is the Royal Beach Hotel, George." "This is where you spent two wonderful... fun-filled days and nights, George." "It's where you met Claudine, George." "This is Claudine." "You fell in love, George." "With Claudine." "You'll do anything for Claudine." "Anything, George." "Claudine wants you to escape." "And, if necessary, die... if anyone tries to give you truth serum." "Truth serum." "Die." "Truth serum." "Live it up, George, while you can." "Where's the old lady, Mrs. Thrip?" "She's been sent her free offer." "Follow that up with a phone call." "I want her simulated." "This afternoon." "Yes, sir." "No." "There's no way an imposter... could have got through the routine security check." "Unless he duplicated George's fingerprints as well as his face." "Not improbable, Colonel." "Considering the advanced technology that created the mask." "Advanced technology?" "To me that suggests foreign agents." "Or a big terrorist organization." "How about extortion?" "With that killer virus, he could hold the entire population... of Washington, D.C. for ransom." "Let's rule out money as a motive, for the time being." "All right, but why?" "If they have the ability to duplicate other people... and they were really after some big bucks... they could find a lot less risky ways of doing it." "True enough." "And as long as they have no antidote... their lives are in jeopardy, same as everyone else." "Excuse me, Dr. Roberts." "Prof. Zander's returning your calls." "Speaking of antidotes." "Thank you, Dede." "Professor." "Have you found an antidote?" "Of course not!" "How can I, when you keep interrupting me with these incessant phone calls?" "And Roberts, these IADC agents... have kept me virtually a prisoner for the last two weeks." "They're safeguarding you and your work, not holding you prisoner." "Can't you get rid of them?" "Afraid not, Zander." "You're our best hope of finding an antidote... and we don't want anything to happen to you." "I'm leaving now, Professor." "But shouldn't you consider my morale?" "It's my afternoon off." " Your morale?" " Yes!" "How would you like it if the only person you were permitted to see was..." "Mary Jane Thrip?" "Excuse me." "This came in the mail." "The free offer?" "Of course, in an ordinary way I wouldn't follow up anything like that." "But the young person who called me today... sounded so sweet and concerned" "You are Mrs. Thrip!" "I was the one who called you." "We were hoping you'd show." "Welcome to Data-Date Compu-Cupid." "If you'll just follow me, please." "What we're gonna do is put you in front of a TV camera in there." "I'm going to be on TV?" "Videotape, sweetheart." "It's not like being on Johnny Carson or anything." "You're going to give a little spiel about yourself." "Then we take your tape, feed it to the computer along with your... vital statistics, the computer matches you up to someone... he sees your tape, and the rest could be history." "Do you suppose your computer has a line on Burt Reynolds?" "She's all ready." "Now just take a seat." "Remember." "Say what you really feel... on account the men watching your tape wanna know the real you." "Just relax, and keep your hands flat on the green markings, please." "Your Data-Date Compu-Cupid presents..." "I'm Mrs. Mary Jane Thrip." "The "Mrs. " stands for widow." "I'm a professional housekeeper." "People say that I'm exactly as old as I look." "There goes my chance with John Travolta." "I would just like to say... that I only agreed to do this on account ofit being free." "My mother was Scottish, you see." "She kept her life savings in a sock..." "Which she put around the plumbing... under the bathroom sink... so that the burglars would think it was an old leaky pipe." "Is it all right to say "bathroom "?" "Bite your tongue." "How am I doing?" "Of course, being a widow... one is lonely sometimes." "Especially after I give Prof. Zander... his rum, peanut butter, and sausage soufflé... in his study." "He will not do without his soufflé." "My recipes have a wee bit of something for everybody." "Then I go back to the kitchen..." "Where I have to sip my warm milk all alone." "But I want to be perfectly candid on one point." "My gate may be a little rusted... but it can still swing, if you get my drift." "Another swinger." "How's it going?" "Look for yourself." "You just come back tomorrow and we'll have a hot prospect for you." "Hope it's Burt Reynolds." "Tomorrow." "They look perfect." "They are perfect." "Down to the last fingerprint." "Sorry, but there is no record of you being on any flight... to Miami, the Bahamas, or anywhere." "Your Gestapo forces pounced on me at the airport." " I had to have been on a plane." " George?" "We checked into the Royal Beach Hotel where you claim to have stayed." "Negative." "Ask Claudine, she'll tell you." "Where is Claudine, George?" "Well, she's in..." "There's no Flight 27, no hotel..." "And no Claudine." "I was there, I know it." "And so was she." "But where is "there," George?" "In Florida." "Florida?" "Then where's your tan?" "Incredible job of brainwashing." "Brainwashing?" "Do you have any objection to taking a truth serum?" "Truth serum?" "Yeah." "Sodium pentothal." "It's a simple injection." "Truth serum?" "No." "Good, then maybe we can clear this thing up." "It'll take just a minute." "Wait a minute!" "Let's go to the stairway." "You go up, I'll go down." "George!" "Escape, or die." "You're gonna be all right." "Mrs. Thrip." "She couldn't appreciate it anyway." "Dr. Roberts, Prof. Zander's on the phone for you." "Mind you, it hasn't been tested yet but I'm 100% certain... that I have found the antidote." "Professor, may the Nobel Prize fly in your window!" "I accept." "Now just leave the testing to us." "My pleasure." "I'll inform the IADC." "They'll dispatch an agent to pick up the antidote right away." "Here I am, checking out the hot prospect... you called and said you had for me." "Just a sec, hon." "Data-Date Compu-Cupid." "Don't wait for a mate, call Data-Date." "This is urgent." "Put ward on." "One moment, please." "If you'll direct your attention to the screen... your gentleman respondee will appear for your examination." " Yeah?" " Call for you." " Hello." " Are you ready?" "Almost." "Almost isn't good enough." "You've got to move now." "Zander's found the antidote." "Your Data-Date Compu-Cupid presents..." "I ride a 900cc motorcycle, and I'm looking for a little buckaroo... to share my saddle." "Ask for Burt Reynolds and you get Gabby Hayes." "That's great news." "Thank you, Doctor." "The agency psychologist isn't having any more luck than we did." "I didn't wanna force the truth serum idea because George was reacting so violently." "I thought we'd better hold off." "No problem." "I just got word from Dr. Roberts." "The antidote." "Zander did it." "But I don't want to take any chances." "Not now." "So..." "You want little old me to get over there and deliver it to the testing lab." "You're my best man." "Thanks for the compliment." "I like all kinds as long as they're young." "No snow on the roof, with a nice front porch." "Solid foundation." "Shingles in good shape... and a fresh fire in the furnace." "He's not looking for a companion, he wants a house." "I'm no stranger to this game, no sir." "I guess if this little speech of mine was going in the papers instead of on TV... right by my name, they'd put "experienced, "with a capital "X"... if you know what I mean." " Hat." " Right here." "How do I look?" "Great." "We'd better take care of that housekeeper." "We don't want her wandering off." "Not to worry." "She's about to go on a South American tour." "Carry on." "And now, Mrs. Thrip, we have... a surprise for you." "The old bag's gone." "Mrs. Thrip!" "You are beautiful." "Thanks to you, I have found the antidote." "Those soufflés you always made me, which I professed to love?" "Sausage, peanut butter." "I can't stand them, never could." "In fact, I hid them... until they were covered with mold." "And it was that mold... which led me to this." "The antidote." "Thank you." "And thank you, Professor." "Hi, guys." "Where's the Professor?" "Professor!" "What happened?" "Are you all right?" "Mrs. Thrip." "She's a he!" " And he's got the antidote!" " Oh, no." "Take care of him, would you?" "Kurt, Baker!" "Stop that man!" "Woman." "Cut her off." "Doubling back?" "Thank you for the tip." "My stars!" "Wait!" "That's far enough." "Okay, mister, just hand over the antidote." "Don't you "mister" me!" "It's bad enough being mistaken for a house!" "And so your double, whoever that is... got away with something that is extremely vital... to the safety of the entire world?" "The Professor's antidote." " You know about that?" " Oh, yes, he tells me everything." "Even about security matters?" "The killer virus?" "But he makes me promise to keep a button on my lip." "Like when I was telling the dating agency." "I said, "My life is..." ""somewhat lonely, except for the Professor. "" "Anything wrong?" "No." "Did you say dating agency?" "Yes." "I got a free offer from the Data-Date Compu-Cupid." "Diana, correct me if I'm wrong, but" "Yes." "George also had a free offer from Compu-Cupid." "That's the last thing he remembered." "Come on... a computer dating service?" "Well, Steve, the imposter already has the antidote." "We are running short on time, so let's be grateful for any lead we can get." "Maybe Ira can give us the inside track that we need." " Where are you going?" " Oh, well... my social life has been really lousy lately." "I think it's time I did something about it." "Why don't you try one of those computer dating agencies?" "That's a very good idea, Steve." "How clever of you." " It's nothing." " Sure." "A lovely thing like you, you might get lucky... and make a date with an antidote." "Mr. Bunny has been given the antidote, check?" "Check." "Go ahead and add the virus." "I hope he stays a happy hare." "This is what I call a rabbit test." "Death should be instantaneous." "The antidote worked." "He's safe." "Congratulations." "It's too bad we can't say the same for the rest of the world." " When will our delivery boy be delivered?" " This afternoon." "The Compu-Cupid computer is not part of any known data network." "Can you patch into it anyway?" "Steve Trevor, that is a complex, time-consuming function..." "With no certain outcome." "In other words, you're not sure but you'll try." "Right?" " Affirmative." " Good." "Get started, Ira." "Lots of lives may depend on this." "Don't tell me you have trouble getting dates." "Well, no, not really." "I just seem to end up with the wrong guy, know what I mean?" " Yeah, is there a right kind?" " Well, one can always hope." "Don't tell me, are you my freebie?" "All right!" "They call me John Blake, "The Snake on the Make. "" "Freebie?" "Oh!" "You're Mr. Blake!" "Mr. Blake, our lucky sweepstakes winner." "Are we gonna find a mate for you, sir." "Right this way." "We're ready for you in Studio 1." "This way." "I've got the feeling... that "The Snake on the Make" could be Mr. Right." "What it is, it is." "Whoa." "I'm him!" "Really." " You sure are." "But is she her?" " Yeah!" "Yes." "I need to know all about you." ""Snake on the Make. "" "Now, right this way." "He might be the one, maybe I should just" "We've got procedures here and you've got a videotape to make." " A what?" " A videotape!" "In here." "Oh, they'll love you." " Is ward in the control room?" " Maybe." "What's the matter?" "Don't tell me... you've stopped keeping track of his every move." "You're real cute." "Must be the reason why Ward dropped me... like a lit firecracker when you came through the door." "No, I think it was because he was bored." "Oh, yeah, that's right." "You stimulate his intellect, don't you?" "Don't knock it until you've tried it." "Here's something to stimulate your intellect." "I'm sticking around here, sister." "You know why?" "Because one day you're gonna be that lit firecracker." "And I intend to be here to enjoy... the big bang." "My advise to you is to get yourself in there... in front of those cameras... and cross your fingers." "Because it sounds to me like you're going to be here for quite a while." " How do you feel?" " Invulnerable." "Good." "I don't know how long the antidote will last... so I suggest we make our move this afternoon." "No problem." " Is that our delivery boy?" " He doesn't look like much." "But by the end of the day, he will have become famous." "Infamous." ""The Snake on the Make" to my friends." "Among whom I hope to count you before too long." "Know what I mean?" "Anyway, I fly a helicopter for a living." "As a matter of fact..." "I'm one of the very few pilots licensed to fly a chopper... over our nation's most sacred monuments and buildings." "I take tourists on aerial tours of this great big capital city of ours." "Like this afternoon, I started out at Dulles Airport... picked up a half a dozen good folk." "Passed a triple security check." "Then I cruised my good folks southward down the Potomac River... to the Navy Yard and then north." "I show them where history's made." "The Capitol building, Library of Congress..." "Constitution Hall, National Gallery, Capitol Hill." "And finally, a run up Pennsylvania Avenue to the greatest thrill of them all:" "The White House!" "I mean, you haven't lived... until you've looked into the White House windows at 300 feet." "The White House, man." "You looking for me, Rover?" "What you got there?" "Your boss just made contact with Compu-Cupid." "Lead the way." "You, my dear, are a genius." "My genius would be a total waste... were it not for your genius in putting it to use." "Shall we get "The Snake on the Make" started on his vacation?" "It looks like you've got another customer." " Better get rid of her first." " Diana Prince!" "She's an IADC agent." "She was in the lab with Roberts." " The day you stole the virus, remember?" " She must be on to us." " Get rid of her." " Wait a minute." "Are you sure the simulation of an IADC agent wouldn't come in handy?" "Perhaps." "Especially a dead IADC agent." "Hi." "My name is Jessica Abernathy." "The Compu-Cupid computer is programmed for two basic functions." "As a database for dissemination of information... regarding persons seeking companionship..." "With members of the opposite sex." " A dating service?" " Affirmative." "Why didn't you say so?" "Go on." "Also as a patented data simulator specializing in... the 3-dimensional duplication of specific human characteristics." "That's where they've been making the masks and gloves." "Ira, can you identify the people most recently simulated by Compu-Cupid?" " Naturally." " Good." "We've got to find out what they plan to do with that virus." "Mrs. Mary Jane Thrip." " After her." " One John Blake." " Okay, who else?" " One Diana Prince." "Diana?" "This is Col. Trevor." "I need a car out front." "Immediately!" "It really was love at first sight... thanks to Compu-Cupid." "Actually I met him right outside, the minute I walked through the door." "Thanks to Compu-Cupid, love at first sight is gonna be a real gas, lady." "Maybe I've talked enough about John Blake." "Maybe I should talk about myself." "Oh, my gosh!" "we've got a fire here." "You better call the fire department." "Sweet dreams, baby." "How does it look?" "Good enough to fool airport security at Dulles." "Remember why there won't be any other passengers." "You bought out the whole flight so you can see D.C. from the air." "All alone." "Let's go." "I told Val to take care of the Prince lady... as soon as The Snake gets started on his trip." " Is the chopper ready?" " Everything we need is waiting." "Including this." " To the White House." " To the White House." "Hi." " They used sleeping gas on him." " Diana's around here somewhere." "She'll be all right." "This is the one we've got to worry about." "He's the one they simulated." "This guy?" "Why?" "That's what we have to find out." "We've passed airport security, why don't you take off that mask?" "Good idea." "Thanks for letting me do the honors." "You're the one that's hell-bent on teaching the government a lesson." "It's only fair." "When my brother died during one of their Doomsday experiments... no one listened." "And recently five more men died." "And still no one listened." "Now, within the hour... tens of thousands will have perished." "It will start at the White House, descend Capitol Hill... wipe out all Federal agencies, obliterate the Pentagon." "And assure that research into such Doomsday experiments... is abandoned forever." "It's not very subtle, but most definitely effective." "All I know is it was very important to simulate... that creepo helicopter pilot." "Helicopter pilot?" "He takes tourists on aerial tours of Washington." " Where?" " How should I know?" " Here's the playback." " National Gallery..." "Constitutional Hall, Library of Congress, Capitol Hill." "And then a run up Pennsylvania A venue to the greatest thrill of them all:" "The White House!" "I mean, you ha ven't lived... until you've looked into the White House windows at 300 feet." "The White House, man." "As a matter of fact..." "I'm one of the very few pilots licensed to fly a chopper... over our nation's most sacred monuments and buildings." "Charlie?" "This is Steve Trevor." "Listen carefully." "You've got a full-blown red alert heading your way." "Look at that big baby." "Hang on, we're going in." "Okay, toss it out." "Oh, no." "Throw it, Ward, make them learn!" "With Ward, Dede and Val in custody... the best place for that virus is in a furnace." "With the addition of the antidote." "The virus is harmless." "Yes, but what about next time... a deadly virus is accidentally discovered in a laboratory?" "Well, I for one, plan to see that there is no next time." "I wish those two young people had thought of another way... of making their feelings known." "Which reminds me." "There's still one thing that bothers me about all this." " What's that?" " Mrs. Thrip... why did you go to that dating service?" "Well, I wanted to have a bit of fun." "And I got tired of waiting for you." "Dear girl, have I been so wrapped up in my work... that I overlooked a gem like you?" "Yes!" "To rectify the oversight." "Compu-Cupid strikes again."