"POOR BUT BEAUTILFUL" "'morning, don Alvaro." " Good night" "'Lullaby' is here!" " So funny!" "Good morning." "Did you wake him up?" "He came home late last night." "Can you let him sleep in?" "At least, when he sleeps he doesn't cause troubles." "Doesn't he?" "Signora Cecilia, I pay you 10.000 lira a month but at 8 that slacker must leave me the bed!" "Ok, wake him up, but be gentle!" "Don't startle him, or he'll be grumpy all day." "Play Schubert, he's so sensitive!" "One... two... three." "WAKE UP, SALVATORE!" "Mr Alvaro is here." " Mr Alvaro my ass!" "Wasn't I enough for mum?" "I gave her all the love she needed." "Poppin' out babies..." "Look at them wretches now!" "Salvatore... get off, it's your stop!" "Don't they ever give you a day shift?" "And if they do, who rents your bed?" "I mean..." "I get a day shift and you kiss goodbye a tenant!" "Or do you wish I sleep cuddling you?" "Romolo!" "Romolo!" "Not you again!" "Are you Romolo?" "Call your bro." "Romolo." " Yeah?" "Hi Salvatore." "You scram!" "Why don't you two get married, if you are so in love?" "Scram!" "I got a stiff neck." "It's Yolanda's fault." "She didn't let you kiss her, right?" "My back is killing me." "All that humidity, in the bushes, that's all she wants to do." "Last night I found a cricket in my pocket." "That's why I heard you croaking..." "Say, doesn't mum ever change the sheets?" "Hey, what's that?" "Ah, that's Yolanda's cricket." "Poor creature, I thought it'd gone." "Come on, get out!" "Damn, you go with women... and I end up in bed with the cricket!" "I wish I went to sleep under a bridge!" "At least I saved 10.000 lire." "Salvatore, the milk is getting cold." " Take my clothes" "And don't come back, I'm tired." "And shut the window!" "Did you take all?" "Sleep for a month." "Bye bye." "Are going or not?" "Forgot the talc." "For your make up?" " It's my business." "Hey, don't hurt the cricket." "That's Yolanda's." "Marisa?" "I found a new one." "Do you know her?" " No, but it's signed." "'To Salvatore, with all my heart full of...'" "Full of what?" " What do I know!" "It's scrawled..." "Did you find anything?" " Some lipstick on the shirt." "But not the same as last time." " What are you blabbing about all day?" "Always gossiping." "Doesn't the cat ever get your tongue?" "Go to work, scram!" "Porter!" "Porter!" " Pa!" "Pa, it's for you!" "Porter!" "Calm down." " Somebody's looking for you." "What's up?" "Does..." "Milone live here?" "He does and he doesn't." "You try." "Sixth floor." "Actually, do me a favour..." "Give him this telegram, catch." "Hey, if you can't find him... bring it back, ok?" "Sure, anything else I can do?" "Run!" "It could be urgent!" "Too late by now!" "Romolo, do you want to see my present for Annamaria?" "Present?" " It's her birthday, she's 15." "Actually, they were so cheap I bought some for me too." "Silk stockings?" " Are you crazy?" "Girls your age wear cotton socks." "...who wears socks in summer anyway?" "You start with stockings, who knows how you end up!" "You spoilt my meal!" "...'cause we don't waste enough money." "Only I care." "Same clothes for two years, who knows when I'll get some new." "Silk stockings!" " Romolo." "Bye, pa." "Don't feed red wine to the canaries, or they'll go green." "Romolo!" "What do you want now?" "Do you know that tonight Annamaria gives a party on the terrace?" "Are you coming... with Salvatore?" "What for?" " Dancing, no?" "Dancing what, with you two?" "Ring-around-the-rosy?" "Bye." "Let's go." " Last one is a cuckold!" "Go! You are a cuckold!" "Come on." " Fool!" "What a day!" "Is it fair having to work, in such a sunny day?" "Bloody sun!" "Come here, I'll kick your ass!" "I'd understand an old man... ill... but a fit young man like me... handsome is wasting time, working in such a day." "You are a waste of time for sure!" "Guys, look who's coming!" "Hey, she's a gift from Heaven!" "Come to daddy! What a minx!" "I'll dream of her tonight." "Look at the goods for sale!" "Look at her! Bloody... what an angel!" "And they say there's no goodness anymore!" "My heart!" "My love!" "Who cares about work?" "She blew you off, she's a tease!" "Maybe she's shy." "She wants us to beg." "Good kisser, too." "Frigid lips." "Good morning" "What happened?" "Wasn't this a shoe-maker?" "Used to." "Now it's a tailor for men." "I want a pair of trousers, then." "Do you make them yourself?" "Sure." " Can you size me up yourself?" "Of course." " In that case I want a pair too!" "I got some ready-to-wear." "Do you want to try them on?" " And how!" "Please come in." "Take them off." "I'll be back soon." "Say, will she take the measures?" " Take them off, quick!" "Damn, if I knew I'd've changed my underpants today." "Ready?" "Yes!" "I knew she was easy!" "I have my way with girls! Guys, help me." "What a spectacle!" " Perverts!" "Look at them!" "Shame on you! What, leaving already?" "Shame, I had a pinstripe that suits you!" "I'll give you the pinstripe!" " Funny girl!" "What are you laughing at? What are you laughing at?" "Never seen a man in his underpants?" "Two, never! What's so funny?" " Everybody's laughing, I do too!" "You can't." " Why not?" "'cause you sound stupid." " Try!" "Laugh at your mum!" "I was right, he sounds stupid." "They'll think you're scared!" " You beat them up!" "Jerk!" " Jerk you too! Go get a job, losers!" "Does she think she scared us?" "Who cares if I show my pants?" "Who cares about her, anyway?" "Well, let's go to work." "Good morning, uncle." "Is this the time to show up?" " Uncle Mario..." "I was late!" "What would you like to listen, miss?" "Bach's 'Fugue in A minor' for organ." "Bach's Fugue for organ?" "So early in the morning?" "You must be an artistic soul." "Bach is Bach!" "Please, take you place in the booth, and I'll give you the 'organ'." "Good morning, miss." "Care to listen to a record?" "Who knows?" "She wants 'Bonjour, Tristesse' by Claudio Villa." "All the girls: 'Claudio Villa, Claudio Villa' What's so special? I told you to knock on the door." "Uncle, did you give her the 'organ'?" "Don't be funny." "If you lose this job, what will you do?" "I keep you out of pity." "You know that, yeah?" "Uncle Mario!" "What?" "Remember to change the record 'needle'." " Go f...!" "Attendant!" "I can't get it off." "What do I do?" "Did you push?" " We did... in two!" "Take it home!" "You're back tomorrow anyway." "Renato!" "I can't even sunbathe in peace!" "Tell me, Graziella, what did you reply to Roberto?" "I said: 'If you are so jealous, there's no point sticking together." "Let's stay apart for a week'" "And him?" "Are you nuts?" " Sorry." "Sorry my foot, keep your hands off me, you oaf!" "Why are you so rude?" "You are not nice to somebody who's sight challenged." "Graziella... he's blind!" " I'm sorry, I didn't realize." "Thank you." "Perhaps you are a pretty girl." "And your friend too." "Graziella." "What a nice name!" "Graziella what?" " Graziella Fabbri." "It's odd!" "Once I knew a girl called Graziella." "Before the accident." "She was my first love." "She had dark hair, grey eyes, full lips." "And a birthmark here, like you." "Are you taking the mickey?" "Can you or can you not see?" "I can, I can!" "God bless my eyes!" "A grown man like you!" "Aren't you ashamed?" "No sense of humour!" "Attendant!" "Where's the attendant?" " He was here before." "Attendant!" "He's never around!" "Attendant!" "Give me a coin." "Who are you looking for?" "Can you call miss Graziella Fabbri?" "Call Graziella Fabbri!" "Graziella Fabbri, the phone!" "For me?" "Who is it?" "Hello, who is it?" "I'm Roberto." "Weren't we supposed to be apart for a week?" "I couldn't!" "I thought of you all night." "It's that nutcase of Roberto." "You should hear him!" "How did he find me?" "Who are you talking to?" "What do you mean?" "It's Luciana!" "You'll never change." "You are still suspicious." "I am damn right to be suspicious." "Who were you talking to, earlier?" "How do you mean 'when'?" "You forgot already that fit boy?" "How do you mean 'who'?" "The one who lost his eyes on you!" "Say, look!" "What a son of...!" "Brava!" "I'm glad we made up!" "Attendant!" "He's never around." "My heart, couldn't you buy a cheerful one?" "But I like it." "You spend money to get depressed?" "You should listen to the other records!" "What a whine!" "You see, my dear, music is a matter of taste!" "It's like women." "Some like blondes, some brunette." "I prefer blondes." "Move, we are getting late!" "Get a move!" "Hello?" "Ah, it's you Salvatore." " Is it for me?" "You pulled two chicks?" "How are they?" "One is really fit." "The other is more your type." "She's got personality." "You can keep the one with personality." "Get over here and we decide. OK, I'm coming." "They talk so highly of Bach, but..." "Didn't you pick up the records?" " I was talking." "Go quick." "It's 4.800..." "Plus 200 for cigarettes." "Thanks." "What are you doing here?" " Can we borrow a gramophone?" "Ask uncle, no?" "He's your uncle too!" "I'm busy tonight." "I'll congratulate you now." " Loser!" "Why did you invite me, then?" "Are you planning a party?" " Yes." "And you didn't invite me?" "But it's all young girls." " You'd get bored, signor Mario!" "'cause I'm old?" "I get along with girls." " It's them who'd get bored!" "Ah, all right!" "Good morning! Would you like to browse?" "No commitment!" "Later maybe." "Goodbye." "150 lire in all." "Thanks." "How comes the carrots are so short?" "Beats me!" "They must have shrunk in water." "Who knows how much water you got, then!" "But you argue with everybody!" "Good morning." "I almost didn't recognise you." "With the trousers on, you look better!" "You don't know me yet, naked I am at my best." "Don't be silly." " I'll come along." "Have you nothing better to do?" "Actually, I should go to the river." "A pal of mine pulled two chicks." "And you are wasting time with me?" "Run!" "What a pair..." "What a pair of peppers we got today!" "Pa, I did the shopping." "If you want to go... Did you get the garlic?" " Yeah, garlic and digestive." "Brava." "So we agree..." "It must be ready at one o'clock" " Ok, one o'clock." "Still here?" "I thought you were at the river already." "With two chicks..." " I'm going, I'm going." "Perhaps they were pretty." "You know the old saying:" "'Opportunity never knocks twice'" "That's why I'm still here, opportunity never knocks twice" "Sorry." "With your friend, we would be four." "But I can't drop Luciana." "Let's meet up just you and me, then." "What are you doing on Sunday?" "Let's go." "We've been waiting for an hour." "Sorry." "Goodbye." "Can I call you on Sunday?" " I don't have a phone!" "If you wish to call, here's my number." " Love, for sure!" "Damn..." "Hey, Marilyn Monroe is a call girl now." "Here's her number!" "Bloody Romolo!" "All his fault..." "Do you really need a suit or it's an excuse to be hugged?" "I do, but are you coming to the movies tonight?" "Excuse me, you buy a suit just to get a date?" "So, if you want to go out with me, do you get a full wardrobe?" "Would you say yes if I don't buy anything?" "My gosh, how could I miss such a chance?" "You know, I never get it when you are kidding." "Tight fit?" "Yeah, with a button here and tight fit." "Tight like a coffin?" " Yes." "And they say women are foxy!" "Hold this." " What for?" "To measure your trousers, I only do from the waist up." "60." "I told you!" "I'm not twisting your arm to buy." "'cause dad is quite expensive." "He was the second best tailor at Caraceni." " Why, do I look cheap?" "Here's a deposit." "5000 lire." "Who's this one?" "He was our tailor." "A guy called Ugo." "And you keep the photo of a tailor?" "He was good." " 'Was'?" "Is he dead?" "For me, he's like he's dead." "See you tonight at the newsagent at Piazza della Pace." "9 o'clock!" "What's your name?" " Giovanna." "And you?" "Romolo." "Have you seen Romolo, that lothario?" " No." "Jerk!" "I had two chicks and he ruined it." "And what do you do with two chicks?" "You can't even manage one." "Don't rush, ok?" "I can manage myself!" "I'll help you, but ask politely!" "Politely, I'd tell you something else." "I got it on the tip of my tongue!" "This is a job for a fit man." "Where is he?" "There." "Thanks." "Well?" "Give me back my purse." "I'll carry it." "You spited me and now I'm kind to you." "We are even now." "Where you going?" "I'm this way." "This is fate." "I was thinking of you all day." "Salvatore, you got get a girl now?" " I do, yeah!" "My, what a dud she got." "Girls enjoy my company." "They are easy to please!" " Shut up, midget!" "They are so mismatched!" "Yeah, she's cute." " And he's got the face of pan!" "Did you see how jealous they were?" "They hate me 'cause I nick all the chicks." "You could leave them one or two." " They can keep 'em all, now." "What's wrong?" "Don't you like me anymore?" " What?" "Sure I do!" "But give me back my purse!" "Wait, I'll help you!" "What a mess!" " Hey kid, don't nick the spuds, ok?" "I'm sorry, it's broken!" "Doesn't matter." "I was going to throw it away, anyway." "Now that there's a free space, you can put up my picture!" "I'll bring one tomorrow." "What was his name?" " Ugo." "Ugo, you are over!" "Well, see you." " Leaving already?" "Right when we were knowing each other." " We'll know each other some other time." "Why not now?" "What are you doing tonight?" "Well, actually I am doing something, but if you insist..." "I do!" "See you at the newsagent at Piazza della Pace at 9, then." "Agreed, 9 o'clock." "One..." "Two..." "Go!" "End of line! All change, all change! How's the weather?" " There's a blinding moonlight!" "What's stinking?" "Stink?" "It's 'Arabian Nights' grease." "'Our grease, your success increases'" "Arabia my foot, you bedouin!" "What do you know?" "You slick you hair with engine oil!" "Romolo! What?" "Oh no, not you again!" "Call your bro." "Salvatore, are you coming to the dance tonight?" "Ah, but you are obsessed!" "Scram!" "Romolo, I'm afraid I can't make it tonight." "I feel all my bones hurting." "I'd rather go to bed." "What do you say?" "Well, if you are not well, look after yourself." "I am poorly, too." "If you don't go out, I don't either." "What's with the smell?" "I can't smell anything." "As soon as he's gone, I'm in my bed." "I want to read the last episode of 'This Island Earth'." "Who knew?" "Science Fiction books are so cool!" "Really cool!" " Actually, don't call!" "Who wants to, in ten minutes I'm sleeping." "Good night" "Look at him!" "Rebel without a cause." "Go catch crickets tonight, too and leave one in my bed, so I won't pay my rent!" "Look at him!" "You, pretty face!" "Go catch a cricket!" "I'd pay to know where they go every night." "What do you think?" "Making love to girls..." "Going out with the 'givers'." "Why didn't I fall for somebody else?" "Instead of your bro!" "I'm so pissed off!" "What about me?" "I fell for yours!" "What a couple of losers we are." "Wasting our best years!" "What are you doing here?" "Romolo, listen, I lied earlier!" "Please, go!" "I'm expecting Giovanna, from the tailor!" "I'll tell you everything tomorrow, ok?" "Ah, Giovanna gave you a date here?" "I tried and got lucky." " I got lucky too, then." "What do you mean?" " I got a date too." "Ah, she is teasing us!" "What a low life, ignorant hick!" "You know what I'll tell her tomorrow...?" "Hello." "Am I late?" " We thought you wouldn't come." "Why?" "Didn't we have a date?" "Sure!" "Shall we go now, or we are expecting more?" "But who did you date?" "Me or him?" "Both, didn't I?" "What's wrong about it?" "With two I am safer than just one." "Who did you date first?" " Are you getting mad?" "Easy." "We'll play it head or tail." "What will be will be!" "You are tail, I'm head." "Ok?" "There!" "Tail!" "Goodbye!" "Excuse us, miss." "Gorgeous!" "Don't be stupid, let's both go and see what comes out of it." "'Who dies lies and who lives gets peace', ok? Gorgeous!" "Gorgeous, Gorgeous..." "Gorgeous." "Hey, too late." "We are enough already." " Move on." "Gorgeous." " Gorgeous my foot!" "Beat it." "So, where are you taking me?" "Movies or dancing?" "Dancing." "I know a nice place al fresco where you can see all Rome." "A posh place, fancy people." "Don't you dance?" "Let's dance." "What does Salvatore see in that one?" "Can't you see how he's glued to her?" "He must see something for sure." "And you do the same, you might have fun too." "Piss off..." " Girls don't know how to have fun." "I am not a one track mind." "What's wrong with a kiss?" "It's just harmless fun." "Do you know the song:" "'A kiss is just a kiss'." "Are you sure?" "Watch it, or I'll make you eat it." " Rules are rules!" "Getting busy, eh?" "And you, sitting there like the old lady on the cocoa box." "That broom suits you." "Play 'loves me, loves me not...'" "Perhaps she loves you." "Why, would you mind?" "Marry her, too!" "Go for her." " Me?" "Who cares about her." "I still have some dignity." "I don't eat out somebody else's plate!" "Did you forget Yolanda?" "Only yesterday you ate off my plate!" "You know what?" "Because I dig that dish, I'll go take another bite." "Don't choke!" "Hug this!" "Why isn't Romolo dancing?" "Romolo, come dancing." "Ok, ok!" "Giovanna, you misunderstood me!" "I don't want a kiss from you." "I want to give you one." "You don't have to give me anything." "Nonsense!" "Kisses, I like to give and receive them." "What's the fun, otherwise!" " Ah, but we are a match made in heaven!" "Listen, let's go hide over there." "What have you got in your head?" "I want to ride to heaven with you." "I meant, what did you put in your hair?" "You smell!" "Why?" "Don't you like it?" "It's 'Arabian Nights' grease." "Listen 'Lawrence of Arabia' if you want a kiss, have a shampoo!" "Is the porter in?" " It's me." "Why?" "Damn, six floors of stairs!" "Where does Mr Di Stefano live?" "Go back downstairs." "It's the other side, last floor." "Do me a favour." "Can you give him this express mail?" "Could be urgent." "Poor bastard!" "You are dancing with me, but you never look at me." "I know myself, if I look at a woman, bang..." "I fall in love." "You are quick!" "Don't squeeze." "I don't trust myself!" "Giovanna, let's make a deal!" "You kiss me once and I leave you alone." "I'll disappear forever." " If you promise, I'll do it." "I'd give you a golden medal for you kissing skills." "I'm a natural." "I put passion in all I do." "What did you think?" "No kidding." "My ears are still ringing." "Hey Romolo, pay the bet." " Come on, time to pay the bets!" "Come on." " Zip it!" "What are you doing, my keys!" "Take! Whose one is it?" " Mine." "Now it's your turn." "Easy, easy..." "Who do you want these from?" " Marisa." "How many?" " One." "Go, Marisa!" " Coming." "Hey, don't hurt me." "Right on my dad's watch, damn... Wait, wait..." "Who do you want these from?" "Annamaria." "How many?" " Ten." "Close your eyes." " Hold on tight." "Ouch!" "Damn, you broke my watch!" "What shall I tell dad now?" "You'll get kicked by your dad too!" "Whose is this?" "Boccio." "Easy!" "I'm off." "Why?" "Aren't you having fun?" "It doesn't take much to amuse you." "Enough is as good as a feast." " Have your feast, then!" " Are you leaving now?" "Hey, it's your turn to pay." "I paid enough by seeing you, jerks!" "Who cares, let's dance!" "Don't look at my mum's now!" "If you saw her twenty years ago..." "They said she was the spitting image of the Queen." "And what a housewife!" "Talk about mum, but keep your hands for yourself, please!" "You are so suspicious." "Just because of my arm around your waist." "My waist is not up there!" "I'll keep my hands in my pockets." "Happy now?" "You think I can talk about love with my hands in my pockets?" "Damn, at my age having a crush like a teenager!" "Romolo was right." "I lost all my dignity." "Tell me..." "But how long have you known Romolo for?" "We played head or tail with nanny's milk." "Romolo is a good lad." "He's got only one problem..." "He's unrefined, coarse." "No sensitivity." "For example, do you know what I do sometime?" "I go to the Old Appia road, on the bus, alone to watch the sunset." "He finds sunsets boring." "Do you know what he told me tonight?" "'It doesn't take much to amuse you'" "I'm telling you!" "He was crestfallen because you are with me." "I am afraid you are going to be crestfallen too because I'm tired and I'm going to sleep." "Do you know the Ursa Major?" " Yes." "Last star, bottom right." "At midnight, watch it." "I'll watch it too and we'll think of each other." " Ok." "Bye, love." "What did he say?" "I am coarse, I don't like sunsets?" "I know what he goes to the Old Appia road for..." "What are you doing here?" " You got my keys." "Oh, the game!" "Sorry." " Nothing" "Good night." "Listen..." "What else did Salvatore say about me?" "That you were crestfallen 'cause you saw us together." "Listen, just to be clear, I don't waste a single thought for you." "I don't even like you, if you ask me." "Don't get so mad!" "You don't like me." "Fine." "We are not getting married!" "Marry you?" "I wouldn't even enjoy kissing you." "Can't you understand that you don't do anything for me?" "First of all, I understand all right." "Second, I doubt you wouldn't enjoy it." "Third, who wants to kiss you?" "Nobody wants to kiss you, here." "Quick, hide!" "It's dad!" "If I were you, I wouldn't get upset!" "Your wife is cuckolding you?" "The day you have a hitch to scratch you kill her!" "And I go to jail." " No" "Because the Italian law is on your side." "You kill your wife and you get 30 years." "But if she's cuckolding you..." "they will acquit you." "Right!" "What about you honour? Are you really thinking of killing your wife?" "Not before you put the idea in my head." "That discussion is going to drag on." " Why, are you uncomfortable?" "I am cramped!" " Sacrifice yourself!" "Guys, look who's here!" "Hey, tell us all the gossip!" "Come on!" "Don't be coy!" "Leave me alone." "What a bunch of gentlemen!" "What if she was your sister?" "would you ask all the lurid details?" "Say, did you leave your friend high and dry?" "It's not my fault if women like me better than Romolo." "Bloody hell, you are so cool!" "Because the divorce is rooted on an important principle." "If a couple is not in love anymore..." "Why should they stick together?" "Because once they said 'yes'?" "And now they say 'no'." "Are you still of the idea that you don't care for my kisses?" "Hey, are you getting big headed just because I kissed you?" "I did it just because." "I better leave you in peace, then!" "Good night and thank you!" "Out of curiosity." "Do you kiss everybody?" "Only those I like." "And then I choose the one I like better." "I get it." "You check them out." "Don't you check out watermelons to see which one is ripe?" "I kiss boys to find out which one I like better." "Ok, tomorrow let me know if I am the right watermelon for you!" "Good night!" "Why did you give him the keys?" " That wretch!" "Almost midnight!" "I told you to get a copy." "Where is he?" "He looked grumpy tonight." " He's always grumpy!" "I'll show him who's grumpy!" "Mr Nero, this is your chance to stay at the reception a little." "so you can pretend you are the porter!" "Or the tenants might forget." "I'm off." "Good night." "There he is!" "What are you doing so late?" " I didn't feel well." " What, is it my fault?" "I have the fever, I going to bed." "Are you nuts?" "Not in my bed!" " And where?" "On the floor?" "Why don't you come in?" "At least you can have a coffee." "Thanks." " There he is!" "Did you forget you have a father?" "Don't remind me, I'll get depressed." "You should be, leaving me in the cold!" "In your shoes I'd be mortified." " What if I do?" "You still had to wait." "Ciao Annamaria, see you tomorrow." " Ciao Marisa." "Romolo?" " Yes?" "Are you still grumpy?" "You look grumpier than before." "What you want now?" "Nothing." "Then, good night and good luck." "But he's burning with fever." "Sacrifice yourself and sleep on the floor." " Fever?" "What if he doesn't gets up ever again?" " I'll get up, I'll get up!" "Annamaria, let's go in the other room!" "Have you got fever?" "Let me check your heartbeat." " My head...!" "Hey, but it's midnight!" "There it is." "Are you sleepwalking?" " Worse, Romolo!" "I am in love." " It's all over your face!" "Who with?" " Giovanna." "Giovanna?" "And what did you do?" "Bloody hell, I had a snog you can't even imagine!" "But that's not important." "It's so beautiful to be in love." "You feel like a flower in the morning, when it opens its petals!" "You are the flower?" "It's so beautiful, Romolo!" "You feel light, so light and your heart... tickles." "You know when you drink sparkling water?" "It feels the same." "We are so strange." "We pose as bullies, cool, we show off... we chase women... and then our heart falls in love too." "Funny, eh?" " What about her?" "Right now she is at her window, thinking about me." "Looking at the same star." "Yes, the Ursa Major, last one on the right!" "How do you know?" "Retard, I taught you all that bullshit to tell women." "And don't think too much, or you'll get meningitis, moron!" "I'll give him the Ursa Major!" "Who took my pyjamas? Can't you knock?" " Where's my pyjamas?" "In the washing." " What do I do now?" "And what's this?" "It's a suspender, never seen one?" "You wear suspenders at your age?" "Shame on you!" "And I do I hold the stockings up?" "With a string, a rubber band, a tape anything but a suspender, nobody looks at you anyway!" "Suspenders at 15!" "What do women have in their head?" "Women..." "We are better off without them." "Who's now?" "Romolo, it's Salvatore!" "Romolo, let me sleep here!" "The bus driver has the mumps." "I was missing just you, tonight! What would we be without women?" "Like plants without chlorophyll." "I read it on 'American Scientific'." "Chlorophyll gives light to the plants." "And so do women to us." "I pity you." "I'll switch off the light." "Get your light from the chlorophyll." "Ouch, damn!" "Swear!" "What do you want?" "Swear you kissed her and you didn't make it up." "Ok, I swear." "Say, how did you kiss her?" "There are kisses and kisses." "There are meaningless kisses." "Well, we kissed in a meaningful way!" "Did she kiss you back?" " I'll tell you something..." "I am afraid she fell hard for me!" "She almost scares me." "Are you listening?" " Yeah, yeah, go on!" "because that's a girl that if I feel like it..." "I might marry her." " Ah, I'm glad for you!" "Then, that thing I was going to tell you, I won't anymore!" "Tell me what?" "It's about your future spouse." " What's that?" "That I kissed her too." "What did you say?" " That I kissed her too." "No need to put your paws on me." "Swear." " I swear." "When did you kiss her?" " Last night, after you left." "I was waiting in the doorway." "In fact..." "I heard you saying that I don't like sunsets." "Giovanna comes in and goes 'hello'." "'Hello' says I." "One thing led to another and I gave her the kiss of her life." "Bloody hell!" "Bastards are everywhere, but like women..." "Say, do you think it's nice what you just did to me?" "Why?" "We always shared all women!" "Is Giovanna any different?" " Yes, Giovanna is different." "Don't you dare any more, understand?" " Shut up, moron!" "You moron!" "Don't you ever do that!" "Next time I'll break you back!" "What are you doing?" "Have you gone crazy? Get off my face!" " Leave me alone" " Out of my way!" "Go wash yourself, it's past 9 and we have to make the beds! You are like two kids!" "Wanna bet they argued because of that stupid girl?" "Why can't they argue because of us, just for once?" "Say, if I change my hair, do you reckon Salvatore would notice me?" "Don't delude yourself." "The other day I wore some lipstick." "You know what Romolo told me?" "'Did you eat tomato sauce?" "'" "Why don't you use your head, instead of jumping on me like a madman?" "Do you agree with me now?" "I understand." "I understand!" "Salvatore..." "Show me you are a man!" "You said it yourself, you don't want to see her again." "I want to see if you can pass by her shop without stopping." "Give me satisfaction." "Show me I have a smart friend." "Good morning." "If you came for the suit, it's ready in two days." "If you came for my daughter instead..." "She said she'd go buy a record." "Really?" "Thanks a lot." "The shoulders fit well, but the sleeves are too long." "No!" "Why?" "Look!" "Ah, here?" "But... No, the sleeves are fine..." "It's you who's short!" "Me?" "Good morning." "Uncle, I'll serve the miss." " The miss has been served." "Thanks." "But that's my 5000 lire note." " How do you know?" "I wrote on it the phone number of a girlfriend!" "What goes around comes around!" " I'll make you go around!" "Your change." "I'll sort you out later." " Don't embarrass me, uncle!" "You'll take it back from my pay." "Scram!" "Go get the van, you are late." "That's the most foolish age for a man." "Yeah." "At your age, no more fooling around..." "Good morning" "Have you got a record of cheerful music? The music is over!" "It's over! Get on, please!" "Are you still mad about last night? Let's make up, please!" "You have a heart of stone!" "Please! Don't be mean." "Let's make up." "Listen to me, make up." "At your age I didn't and now I regret it!" "Brava!" "Thanks!" "Please, get on!" "Attention please" "This record is for sale from Mario Frutti, where prices are not nutty" "Tell me, how many did you kiss before me?" "I told you?" "Gianni..." "Renato..." "Franco... the one from Fregene... and that's it!" "And Salvatore?" " Ah, right, Salvatore." "Didn't you mention a guy called Ugo?" "Ugo, yes!" "But Ugo was different." "Why?" "First he was our best tailor." "Second..." " Second?" "Second, I really cared for him." "Wasn't he the one in the photo?" " Yes" "Your sweet watermelon?" "We were smitten." "Every time I saw him my legs wobbled." "He wanted to marry me." "He said he couldn't live without me." "And instead he's alive and well." "You are depressing me, with your Ugo." "Come here, I'll cure your depression." "Did you notice, half an hour and nobody passed by." "He wasn't attractive, but he had such green eyes..." "Like mine?" " But yours are black." "yes... when I make love they get green." "I reckon today they'll stay black." "Let's go, or we'll be late." "And you leave me like this, with one eye black and one green?" "They'll think I'm a cat!" "Damn, the day started so well..." "Salvatore, do you want a lift?" "What's up?" "So moody all morning!" "Get on." " Leave me alone." "Leave him alone!" "He must have something on his mind!" "What do you know?" "If he tries hard, he can even think!" "Giovanna, I want to shout to all Rome that I love you." "Are you nuts?" "You left that thing on." "They'll hear you." "So?" "All Rome should know that Romolo Toccaceli loves Giovanna." "All Rome should know" "Up yours, Salvatore" "This record is for sale from Mario..." "My shoe!" "Pass!" "Jerks, give me back my moccasin!" "Romolo, when I catch you you'll spend a week in hospital!" "Did you have to pass me your mumps?" "Didn't you have a relative?" "37°5." "Almost gone!" "At last." "Take!" "You could have a relapse." "Why don't you put it under your tongue?" "I put it where my mum told me." "Salvatore, there's 5 wretches for you! Just one minute, madam!" " This is not the 4th of July parade!" "Pity he's not contagious anymore." "Hey, you remind me of an Easter Egg!" "Salvatore, you got mumps too, eh?" " It's dangerous, you know?" "If you are not careful, you are done!" " You can forget women for good!" "I can't even recall what a woman is." "Ten days in here." "Well, now you are better." "Why don't get up?" "Guy: don't be shy... help yourself with my bed, too." "Savages!" "No manners!" "Salvatore, your mum said you must drink it all up!" "The medicine!" " Nice!" "Hey, do you know that your sister is growing up pretty?" "In two years she's ripe!" "Finally a friend with a fit sister." "Salvatore, Romolo and Giovanna are here!" "They are in the doorway." "What happened?" " The thermometer!" "I told you to put it under your tongue." "Are they coming up or not?" " Yes, I told you." "Didn't you tell Romolo that I don't want to see him?" "Maybe he wants to make up." " And Giovanna?" "She hasn't seen you for ten days." " Damn, I can't show up like this." "Sorry Mr Alvaro, I have visitors!" "Go in the other room and take this one with you." "Are you nuts?" "Where are you taking me?" " My gosh, I'm falling!" "Bandits! What's going on?" " Giovanna is coming for Salvatore!" "Over there!" "Don't push! Don't you have the key?" " I am letting dad know." "You'll like dad, he's a saint." "He's so patient you could crack a walnut on his head." "Pa, this is Giovanna." "Pa, couldn't you wear a tie?" " Sure, a tie on my pyjama! What are you waiting for?" " They are already in." "...but in Romolo's home." " What do you mean?" "He took her home to meet his father." "Come in, guys! Hey, it's nice!" "Give some to your brother!" "And so, you two are engaged?" "Good." "I'm glad." "And you came to tell me." "Well done." "After all I am the father and I can advice you." "Actually, if you allow me I need a word with you!" "Please!" "Not with you... with him, my son!" "Come, come here!" "What do you want?" " Listen!" "That's pa when he was young." "Pardon my asking, but are you taking me for a ride?" "What do you mean, pa?" "It's the third time you bring me a girl and say you are engaged." "But this time it's for good." " Good for good, all the girls were quite good." "But you have to be discreet, too." "If you say 'Meet my dad' all the time..." "Anyway, this time stay away from my bedroom." "Pardon me." "But I wanted to ask him how deep were his feelings." "I'm his father!" "Giovanna, look, that's dad when he was young!" "I can see the resemblance." "In better, of course!" "You should have seen me in my twenties!" "Do you know that when I swam the Tiber..." "Pa', not the cramp again?" "Marisa, fetch us a drink, will you?" "Get some vermouth." " The vermouth is over." "You know what we can offer Giovanna?" "The Lacrima Christi..." "The bottle Father Pellegrino gave you." "Romolo, you know well that we can't open that bottle, it was your poor mother's!" "Come on, mum is happy if you drink it!" "Today is a special day," "This bottle has a history." "Pa is going because this story moves him." "when they got married, Father Pellegrino gave them the bottle and said:" "'With this, you'll celebrate the silver and golden anniversary'" "That's a glass every 25 years." "But then mum died and the bottle stayed sealed." "You dad is more sentimental than you!" "Couldn't you spare him this wicked action?" "But, it's water!" "He drank Father Pellegring bottle too... and he sealed it back, too!" "I'm going to tell him off." " No, don't mortify him!" "Mortify?" "You don't know him at all." "Marisa, ask Annamaria for some vermouth." "Go darling!" "Pa!" "Eh, what's up?" "You see how he embarrasses me?" "There a pack for you." "Its a suit." "And the tip?" " If you didn't ask, I'd give you." "Go f..." "Well done!" "In my times..." "Pa, what's this pack?" "Wanna bet the tenants finally bought me a proper porter's uniform?" "But this is my suit!" "How nice, so soon?" " Are you going to a fancy dress party?" "Pa, this is a special suit." " I bet!" "Why?" "Don't you like it?" "Only an Englishman dresses so well." " Why, are you English?" "I might be nobody, but I want to try it on!" "Excuse me, did you dad make that suit?" " Yes." "And who will pay your dad?" " I don't know, but I got the invoice." "And Romolo?" " Over there." "I am gonna kill him!" "Cool this suit!" "Hey, handsome!" "What a frame!" "I bet he changed tile again!" "Only a loan, ok?" "Never seen anything like that!" "Hey, who's that?" "Let me have a good look!" "I'm jumping! What lips!" "She's got lips like a black girl!" "Hey where are you going?" "Looks who's coming." " Romolo, what's with the dress?" "You look like a pimp! Salvatore, come quick!" "Giovanna's boyfriend bought a new suit!" "Did you nick it from a puppet?" "Losers!" "Low life!" "You can't afford a suit like this!" "You could walk tall." "Romolo, when you go to the toilet now, you can go where it says 'Gentlemen'! If he bought a new suit for his engagement..." "Think about yours when you'll be his best man!" "You can't lose face with Giovanna!" "Romolo is really taking the piss!" " Stealing your girl and getting engaged under your nose!" "Get lost!" "I'm sick of you! And don't die tonight!" "Tell your mum that this month I won't pay the rent, eh?" "How comes?" "You and your friends busted my balls, ok?" "Where are you going?" "Looking for a girlfriend!" "It's only 5, they are not walking yet! Did you see what a posh place?" "Do you like it?" "Yes, but have you got any money?" " Sure I do." "I want to see if my friends won't give me a discount." "Whose chicken is this?" " Romolo and Giovanna." "I would think twice before serving him." "Did you order chicken?" " Yes." "Have you got the money?" " Yes, I do." "Show me." " Here" "All right" "Is the chicken from Roman times, too? To our love!" "Don't stain the suit, you haven't paid it yet." "Was it him?" " I saw them" "This is the life for me." "Carefree... and plenty of money." "If only one of these moneybags adopted me." "One of my friends went to Prince Alfieri's home and was adopted!" "And now he lives it large." "How I wish I could tell dad:" "'Prince Alfieri wants me as his son!" "'" "How proud would I make him!" "Giovanna!" " Leonetto!" "What happened to you?" " I moved." "No wonder we didn't see you anymore." "Do you know who's sitting with us?" "Gianni and wife, Renata, Ugo with his girlfriend!" "You remember Ugo, don't you?" " What do I care about Ugo?" "Pardon!" "Who did he get engaged to?" " Quirino's sister." "Look!" "They are sitting now!" "Come on!" "Don't start." "Pardon." "He got engaged to that one?" "He has no taste!" " Once he had better tastes, eh?" "What's your friend's name?" "Sorry, I didn't introduce myself." "Leonetto Berselli." "Are you coming to our table later?" " Yes." "My pleasure!" "Who's that Leonetto?" " An old friend." "What a stupid face!" "Leonetto is very intelligent, for the record!" "And he's got a degree in medicine!" " Any moron can get a degree!" "They offered him a job in South America." "...straightening bananas!" " You are so rude!" "Can't I take the mickey out of your friends?" "Do I take the mickey out of yours?" "Look at them!" "Legs like a cactus!" "But, are you wearing underpants?" " Roberto!" "So you judge a man by his legs?" "Eat!" "But I was only looking at you!" " Just eat!" "Who did you wave to?" " Ugo." "And what does that mean?" " Nothing." "It means that I am not joining then." "No, It means you don't because of me." "If you were alone, you would!" "Nonsense!" "If you want to go to Ugo..." "I am not stopping you!" "Listen, Romolo..." "If you don't stop it, I'll leave!" "Do it and you won't see me again!" "Where are you going?" "Chariot, sir?" " Chariot my foot." "Giovanna!" "Giovanna, I won't do it again, promise! Don't you want to make up?" " No." "Let's make up!" " No." "Why did you act like a jerk tonight?" "You were fishing for attention!" "Looking around, laughing loud!" "Now you are engaged." "Why, when one is engaged, can't laugh anymore? What's up?" "Are you mad again? Do you know that I haven't seen your place yet?" "Can I come up?" "What did you understand?" "I just wanted to see your place..." "See if we can use some of the furniture when we get married." "Forget the furniture, Romolo, it's still early!" "I'll show you my place in the morning, when dad is awake." "Listen, Giovanna..." "Why don't we go to the shop and listen to some records?" "We just got some wonderful records!" "I'm tired." " Just five minutes." "It's better in the morning." "If you change your mind." "knock on the shutter." "Ok, wait for me!" "Wait, wait..." "Pa, still up?" "Come in, there's a surprise for you!" "When you told me you got engaged, I wasn't pleased!" "But now that I met your fiancée, I'm glad." "He's a good boy!" "Perfect, eh?" "Pa' but here...?" " No, you won't see that." "Look! Try this on, meanwhile!" "What did you tell pa?" "Are you crazy?" "Give me a kiss." " How's the jacket?" "Good, pa!" "Giovanna, give me a kiss." "I love you." " No." "And stop calling pa pa!" "Are you playing the trumpet?" "Pa-pa-pa-pa." "Are you quarrelling?" "Pa, what did he tell you?" "That one is not my fiancée." "My fiancée is another one." "Did you hear?" "She's got another fiancée." "And you don't say anything?" "Giovanna, did you get engaged twice?" "You took advantage of my illness!" "Come on, make up." "If you start quarrelling when just engaged..." "Pa, shut up!" "Hello? Giovanna, listen." "I can only hear music..." " Music? Don't say anything, I understand!" "You cannot come because your dad is still awake." "But as soon as he goes to bed, come here, ok?" "Listen..." "I put your favourite record on." "This music gives me ideas..." "I want to kiss you." "As many kisses as stars in the sky." "Big star, big kiss..." "Small star... small kiss." "Son of a..." "I taught him all those phrases." "And caress you like the waves caress the sea." "Diving in a sea of happiness." "But if you can't even swim!" "Romolo, the sea can be dangerous! Hello, who's talking?" "I am talking, Salvatore." "But... did I dial your number?" "No, you dialled the right one." "And you are talking to Salvatore at Giovanna's!" "You better leave my girlfriend alone!" "Oh, giving orders in my own home?" "Who allowed you to spread all those lies?" "Go to sleep." "Scram!" "Let me say good night to pa." " I will for you." "Did you see how pa likes me?" " Don't call him pa!" "Hello?" "Ah, it's you Romolo!" "Did you call?" "Salvatore?" "Must have been a prank." "I was in bed." "You must have dialled the wrong number." "You're getting mad, too?" "Don't start with your jealousy, or..." "Or what?" "Please come in." "Watch your head." "Did you see how easy it is?" "And you turned me down for three years." "We can have a smoke, listen to a record..." "Sneak in like two thieves..." " So?" "Do you promise we are just listening to records?" "I swear." "One moment." "My God, so embarrassing!" "What are you doing here, you idiot?" " Uncle Mario..." "I had some spare time, I wanted to tidy up." "All right, dear." "Go tidy up somewhere else." "You are fired!" " I know, I know." "Uncle Mario..." "If you need help, just ask." " Out!" "Magda... you look upset." "Come." "Let's try a long-playing." "Yes?" "May I?" "Thanks." " Welcome." "Salvatore, go away, I won't open!" "Who is it?" "I'm Salvatore." "What do you want? Tell the truth..." "Where you happy to see me tonight after all the time?" "As soon as I was better I came to you." "I was happy." "Ah!" "You were happy?" "What would Romolo say if he knew what happened tonight?" "Wouldn't be happy." " Why, what happened?" "!" "Don't you remember anymore?" "Ok, one kiss..." "And what a kiss!" "Forgetting you are engaged to Romolo?" "Don't tell me you don't like Romolo anymore?" "I like him, but he's got a temper." "He's jealous..." "He controls me..." "He spys on me... behind doors." "Hi Romolo." "Now go to bed, this charade is going too far." "Good night." "Giovanna, open up!" "No, go to sleep." " Ok, but tomorrow I'll sort you out!" "Ok, we'll talk tomorrow." "What's up with these two kids tonight?" "Which one did you get engaged to?" " Romolo, the one I sent away now." "And who's the one who calls me 'pa'?" " he's Salvatore, a friend of Romolo's." "I kissed him once and that's it." " You kissed him?" "You cared for him, then!" "I cared for him?" "I liked him." "There's a big difference." "Do you know how many times I kissed your mother in six years of engagement?" "Three!" "and you spread kisses like they are chocolates." "Then, which one do you like best?" "I like Romolo, but he has a temper." "Tonight at dinner we quarrelled." "Salvatore instead..." "I like Salvatore too." "You like them both." "You don't even know what you want." "You are right." "Do you think it's easy to figure out if a boy is serious or fooling around?" "You kiss them and they call you easy." "But if you don't, they leave you." "doesn't call anymore..." "and maybe he was Mr Right!" "the one who'd love you all your life." "Go to sleep." "Good night." "Good night, pa." "And don't worry, I am not doing anything bad." "But the one who calls me pa, who is he?" " That's Salvatore." "Ah, Salvatore." "A good boy, right!" "Serious!" "He spent an hour talking to me." "Guess what he said?" " What?" "That he would like to learn how to be a tailor." "Pa, he was kidding!" "Can't you see they fool you too?" "No." "I don't think he was kidding." "I have the feeling he really loves you." "You made a mistake sending him away." "Yes, maybe it was." "Who's that?" "What?" "I didn't get it." "Who?" "Salvatore was here." "He told me he was going to... to jump into the river!" "He's going to kill himself!" "How do I know why?" "He said to tell just you because it might make you happy." "But where did he say he's going?" "Wait, I think he said..." "Where are you jumping from?" " The New Bridge." "The New Bridge." "She hung up." "Was she scared?" " Her voice was shaking." "She'll take at least a quarter of an hour to the New Bridge." "Another cappuccino, white with sugar." "There you are." "Sleeping?" "Weren't you going to top yourself?" "Why, is there an hour to die?" "I wanted to live another half an hour." " Couldn't you wake me up later, then?" "You made me run for nothing!" "Do you know why I waited to jump?" "To see you one last time, to tell you how much I love you!" "Now you saw me." "Jump!" "Ah, you push me?" "You want this regret?" "Keep your word." "You said you jump?" "Now, jump!" "Watch out, I'm jumping, eh?" " If you jump, I become a nun!" "Look, from this height, even the best diver would die!" "What a drag!" "Ok, you asked for it!" "But if you tell me you love me, I won't jump." "And come on! Help!" "Will you kiss me now?" "Just one?" " Bastard, bastard!" "I love you!" " Leave me!" "Leave me alone!" "Come on, gimme a hand." " What happened?" "Did you fall?" "He tried to kill himself, officer!" " I saw him!" "You tried to kill yourself?" "Come." " Why?" "Because it's a crime." " I can't even kill myself, now?" "Don't you know that if you kill yourself it's murder?" "I didn't kill myself." "That's why we nick you." "Wasting police time." "Otherwise, we would take you to the morgue." "But you have no heart!" "Put yourself in my shoes!" "I was desperate, we quarrelled..." "Ah, she is your girlfriend?" "Miss, please come over here!" "Is it true that you are this young man's girlfriend?" "Yes." " And you love each other?" "Our is a great love, officer!" "But why do you quarrel, then?" " That's what I say!" "Well, if you promise me not to argue anymore, I'll let you off." "Ours will be an idyll, right Giovanna?" "Good night, officer." "And thanks." "Give me a kiss." "They are looking." "We must show that we made up." "Do you want me to go to jail because I love you?" "What's up?" "Looks like you bit a lemon." "Aren't my kisses sweet anymore?" "Do you know why I came last night?" "To give you this." "You didn't give me a chance to talk!" "You kicked me out!" "Beautiful, isn't it?" "Really beautiful." " Hey, it a diamond ring!" "But I cannot accept it." " Why not?" "I am engaged to Romolo." " So you don't like me anymore?" "I like you, yes." "I like you both." "Well, You'll have to stay engaged with both, for a while." "But then you make up your mind." "Will you?" "Well, I can give you the ring now." "Nando! Come down, Salvatore topped himself!" "What?" " A friend of mine topped himself." "What happened?" "They say that Salvatore topped himself." "As if!" "It's Thursday, at 1 he'll be home eating gnocchi." "But..." "Signora Cecilia, Salvatore is back!" "He's back!" " God..." "Son!" "My beautiful son!" "Mommy!" " My heart!" "What have you done?" "Why did you want to kill yourself?" "Aren't you happy with me?" "Did I ever deny you anything?" "You made me worry all night!" "Didn't you think about your mom's weak heart?" "Is this your love for me?" "Don't you know you almost made me die?" "Ungrateful son, heartless wretch!" "With my high blood pressure!" "Criminal!" "You are a chip off your father's block!" "Murderer!" "I'll sort you out!" "I'm glad his mother gave him a beating." "She spared me the bother." "What are you doing here?" "I brought you a present." "Do you like it?" "An alarm clock?" "This a magic clock." "It tells me all." " What are you talking about?" "You see, tonight I come to your place," "I don't tell you what time I set it..." "I lock it in a drawer." "And tomorrow you must tell me what time it rang!" "'cause, what happened tonight, that you came back at 9 in the morning must not happen again, ok?" "Tell me... do you come up with these ideas on your own or somebody helps you?" "What's this?" "It's... an old family ring." " No, this is signora Cecilia's ring." "every now and then Salvatore nicks it, when he wants to impress a girl." "and then, when he gets his way, he takes it back!" "Ah, he's not stupid, your friend!" "Well, now you take it off and give it back." "Otherwise..." " Otherwise?" "Otherwise you'll never see me again, you hear me?" "I'm glad you said that." "Because now I know how really you are." "Thinking I would have married you..." "But you come here with an alarm clock..." "'I set it, I put it in a drawer...'" "Hey, do you know what this alarm clock means?" "That if I marry you, my husband will spy on me... and crucify me night and day!" "Listen Romolo... let's be friends and that's it!" "If this is your last word..." "It's for the best, believe me!" "Think about it!" "I did." " All right." "Then Giovanna, best wishes for many healthy children." "But Salvatore will pay for this." "Do you know what's my dream?" " No." "My dream is to quit this job." " Attendant! That one is taking the mickey." " Why do you answer, then?" "I'm the attendant, no?" "Cabin! What?" " Shall we make up?" "I wanted to beat you up." "I didn't." "Be happy and scram!" "What did he say?" " Nothing, he's a simpleton!" "Let's move, otherwise they'll keep calling for me!" "Do you know that one?" " I wish!" "How could you think to be engaged to two at once." "Tell the truth." "You were with Romolo to make me jealous." "No, I am like that!" "I like kissing boys." "Is it wrong of me?" " No, no, good on you!" "A girl wants to be loved, and I can't live without love!" "What's more..." "To be honest... when Ugo left me I thought nobody would love me ever again." "But who loves you more than me?" "You found the shoe for your foot!" "Ah... when you kiss me, I can hear the national anthem." "Slap me." " Why?" "I promised myself no more bullshit." "I want to change." "How?" "With your help!" "If I say a bullshit, slap me." "Goodbye face, then!" "My curse is that girls like me, I am handsome, I make them happy... and girls chase me... and they even care about me." "But since I met you..." "I learnt that it's more important to love than being loved." "It might be nonsense... but to love means having something inside... perhaps being poor outside, but rich inside! Don't listen to him, he'll never marry you!" "Leonetto, what are you doing here?" " Spying on you!" "Did you see?" "Ugo with his girlfriend." "Walk, and shut up!" "You'll never change, he?" "But why don't you slap him back?" " But he'd beats me even more!" "My fiancée!" " Pleasure!" "And this one is my fiancée!" "At last you found a boyfriend who lets you wear a bikini." "What does he want?" " Don't you know him?" "He's my ex." "Never seen before!" " Last night at dinner." "Remember?" "Dinner?" "Are you nuts?" " Sorry!" "That was Romolo!" "Now you are mixing up your boyfriends, too?" "Don't quarrel, plenty of time after getting married!" "Let's go swim." "Go f..." "Don't snort!" "What did you like in him?" "I don't know anymore." "Make me dance, will you?" "Don't get mad!" "Water under the bridge!" "So?" "What's the penance?" "You must kiss somebody." "I'm ready!" "Did you say one?" "Where's she going?" "To kiss that fatty? Come here." " What do you want?" "I have to tell you something." "It's a game." "Wait!" "What's wrong with you?" "Why?" "What did I do?" "You made me drink a litre of filthy water!" "You ran after me for the water?" "Why, otherwise?" "Didn't you realise I kissed you?" "A kiss?" "Did you kiss me?" "When?" "Wasn't it a game?" "Was it a real kiss? It's ten years I love you." "Didn't you ever realise?" " Ten years?" "And how old are you?" " 15." "I was under your nose all the time and you didn't even know I existed." "Any time you called Salvatore, I'd show up!" "You were so irritating!" "Well, let's go dance! But... isn't that your sister dancing so tight with Romolo?" "Excuse me a moment." "May I?" "What do you want?" "I have to talk to you face to face." " Let's go." "What happened? Just for the record, I don't like how you dance with my sister!" "You don't like it?" "I was great, I was striking poses, too!" "Look, don't be funny!" "No more dancing with Annamaria." "Understand me?" "No." "I don't understand at all." "I am sure you do." " Not that I am aware of." "Look Romolo, don't push my patience!" "You got too busy with Giovanna." "Apart with the fact that I don't care about Giovanna..." "You did too when she was my girl." "Your girl as a figure of speech." "Giovanna was more mine than yours." "What did you two do, anyway?" "And what did you do, instead?" "If you keep mum, I'll tell you." " I'm a tomb." "Everything, Romolo!" "Everything." "But I recommend you, eh..." "Hush." "In fact..." "I'm afraid I gave her a bun in the oven." "Giovanna!" "Hey, are you crazy?" "Oh, I'm sorry!" "What happened?" " How do I know?" "Who knows him?" "Brava Giovanna!" "Congratulation!" "I heard the news about you!" "You let him slaps around the mother of your children?" "And you believed it?" "Thanks you." "I was right, you never understood me" "Are you a man or not?" "What was that slap to my girl?" "See?" "This one is even asking for explanations." "You wanted me to slap you, if you were a fool." "Take!" "What did I do?" "You said you were expecting a baby with Giovanna." "I heard you with my own ears." " Me?" "When?" "You tell them." " Actually, you did!" "How is it possible?" "You know me!" "Salvatore, did you make a baby by mail?" "Shorty, get lost!" " What's the fun that way?" "Come Giovanna." "We are not through yet!" "That's the one who slapped me!" "It must have been a mix up." "Isn't it, young man?" "I am sorry, I mistook her for her!" "I told you it was a mistake." "My apologies!" "Now you must explain me." " Why don't you mind your own business?" "You know I'm nosy." "Perhaps, but you have no right to slap people around!" "And you should be more accommodating!" "Do you remember why we quarrelled the last time?" "You were running around the table and didn't let me catch you!" "If you let me slap you, we would have made up." "So you dumped me because I didn't let you slap me?" "You really loved me (!" ")" " That's my way to love!" "If I don't like something, I react!" "I slapped you because I loved you." " No, because you are rough." "Otherwise, why did you slap me two minutes ago?" " You are right." "I guess I did because I still love you." "Nonsense!" "It can't displease you." "I can tell a mile away you still love me." "Shall we make up?" "Aren't you dying to make up?" " No." "I like you because you fight back!" "Otherwise, what's the fun in making love?" "Kiss me instead of talking so much!" " Attendant!" "Not here, there's people!" "What did you do with that girlfriend of yours?" "Yole?" "She's gone home." "She figured out." "She's not so stupid!" "Giovanna!" " Get dressed, we are leaving." "Giovanna, where are you?" "Giovanna, you didn't believed him earlier, did you?" "Look, I'm not mad!" " Thank God!" "And did you sort that jerk out, Ugo?" "Yes." " Get dressed and let's go, then." "Salvatore I am leaving with Ugo." "What?" "You are leaving with Ugo?" "Damn..." "How do I tell you, now?" "It's difficult." " Telling me what?" "Do you promise me you won't get mad?" " Tell me!" "I and Ugo still love each other!" " Bloody hell!" "Great news!" "Sorry, Salvatore." "But I loved Ugo first." "We split up out of spite." "I thought I forgot him, instead..." "I guess I was still thinking about him." "That's why you took me and Romolo for a ride!" "No!" "I really liked you two!" "and I was trying to fall for somebody." "...maybe to get back at him." "But I couldn't." "Aren't you ready yet?" "Did you dad make this suit?" " Yes." "Turn around." "You see, it doesn't fall well." "It's your dad's usual defect." "But when I come back to the shop, these mistakes will go." "You come to the shop, and I'll fix it, ok?" "Shall we go? just one word." "Damn, I am the one in trouble now!" "How can I tell you?" "Take heart, Salvatore, today we can tell each other everything." "I'll lose my face!" " What happened?" "You'll think I am asking it back because we are through!" "But what?" " My mum's ring!" "Oh, sorry, I almost forgot!" "I would leave it to you, but it's my poor mum's." "It's her only jewel!" " I understand Salvatore." "What will you think of me, now?" "I think you'll give the ring to some other girl." "I am glad I met you." "Giovanna, best wishes and many children! Did you make up with Giovanna?" "I made up forever." "It's all over." "Happy now?" " Yes." "Today I made everybody happy, then." "Tell me, is it true that it doesn't fall well?" "It suits you well." "Let's go home." "Is it just my impression or you are grown up?" "I am grown up all right!" "I'm almost 16!" " Gosh, you are a little lady!" "Do you know that you have turned quite pretty?" "What are you doing tonight?" " Why?" "Nothing." "Wondered if you feel like going out." "Well, I can't wear this ring!" "It's a girl's ring!" "But tonight you give it back, eh?" " No, you give it back now." "You don't give me back anything." "In fact, it's a present." "You understand!" "It's a present!" "And you don't bother me 'cause today I could teach you a lesson." "Look, I know the story of that ring." " I'll teach you a lesson all the same." "Who do you teach a lesson to?" " Keep your hands down! I'll show you." "Hold my jacket." "First round!" "Come on!" "Kill each other!" "Quiet!" "They are sizing each other up!" "Fists up!" "You fight like a girl." " You start!" "Paint him red!" "Get up, puppet! Don't hit my face or I'll kill you!" " Who cares, I hit what I hit! That'll teach you all a lesson!" " The winner is Romoletto for K.O.!" "What?" "You let him go like that?" "I'll beat you all up another day." "Raging Bull!" "Rocky Marciano has left the building!" "You can get up now." "Put your jacket on." "Don't take it hard!" "Salvatore, did you see Giovanna?" "Pardon!" "See you!" "Bye guys, See you later." "Did I hurt you?" " Since when your fists can hurt me?" "Tell me..." "What happened with Giovanna, that she left with Ugo?" "Nothing, I dumped her!" "You dumped her..." "Salvatore, let's quit being jerks!" "Life is a serious matter!" "Don't you know?" " I do." "In fact I decided I want to turn my life..." "I want to find a job, have a family, children... who will not be ashamed of their father." "Hey look at those two!" "What eyes!" "Good morning." "Do you know them?" "Shall we change life tomorrow?" "Well..." " Hey look there!" "What do they want?" " They want to escort us." "No." " Why not?" "Because!" " They are our girls." "Do you make love to them?" " Yes." "Ah, well... in that case, we apologise! Let's go."