"Navy blue." "Pinstripe." "Single-breasted wool suit,ecru shirt." "Red." "Navy blue pinstripe,black wing tips." "single-breasted wool suit," " ecru shirt." " Is there anythingI can do?" "No,thank you." "Hey.Have you heard about bart?" "I did." "Wow.Is there anything I can do?" "Tom,there's been a developmentwith a past donor." "Development?" "I don't want to talk tonathaniel about it,not today, but there'sbeen a terrible development." "Dr. Jacobs has passed.Give his family some time." "Sorry." "I didn't want youto be called in." "What is it?" "We wouldn't have paged you,but we have a huge problem." "Just tell mewhat happened." "The liver recipient,george nedved." "Right,abnormal tissue.We biopsied yesterday." "His test resultscame back -- malignant breast cancerin his liver." "Breast cancer?" "The dna showsthat it's from female cells." "His donor gave himbreast cancer?" "Damn it,kate." "Her namewas elizabeth morton." "She was 34 years old,seemingly in perfect health." "It was microscopicbreast cancer." "It didn't show up on any ofour scans,but we did miss it." "How many other organsdid we take from ms." "Morton?" " six." " Six?" "You've givenpotentially cancerous organs to six patients?" "Hey,I'm really sorryabout bart." "Thank you,mary." "What did youtell the recipients?" "That theremay have been some complications and that we need them to comein for tests." " You found them all?" " All of ours." "If nedved has cancer,won't they all have cancer?" "We'll do the tests,and we'll see what comes back." "But if nedved has it,won't they all have it?" "Heartland Season 1 Episode 09" "Sync:" "YTET-ÏûÉùÄä¼£" "We're going to admit you and run some tests -- a ct scan,a biopsy of your lungs and lymph nodes to see if there are any abnormal cancerous tissues." "Alice?" "But I feel fine." "In fact,for the first time in my life," "I feel more than fine." "Well,I'm glad to hear that." "No more oxygen.I can walk up stairs." "And I can sing again." "There's a chance that the cancer's already spread to your donor's lungs, so we have to move quickly." "I'm fine,dr." "Grant." "Alice,I know this is hard to understand, but this situation is very real." "The situation is I'm fine." "I feel fine." "Mr. Moody,please come in." "What's this all about?" "Why don't you come in and have a seat,please?" "Why am I back here?" "I'm afraid there's been a complication with your donor." "Because it's bull,teddy." "Just get me the organ." "Demand it." "Or do I need to come down there myself?" "Kate, this is not your fault,okay?" "It's not your mistake.This stuff happens." "Tom,you know full well that I am partly to blame." "May I have everyone's attention,please?" "For those of you who don't already know, dr." "Bart jacobs passed this morning." "Now,in regard to our current situation,dr." "Jonas, you will oversee mr." "Moody's kidney and pancreas testing and mrs." "Fogerty's heart tests." "Okay." "But you're taking the lung and the liver?" "Right." "But if o'connell and nedved have cancer, they have nearly no chance for survival." "Which is why I need to handle them." "It would be best if I help you out." "I appreciate your concern, but they're my patients,and they deserve my attention." "I found a liver donor for mr." "Nedved." "It's marginal,but it's all unos will approve." "Dr. Jonas,you'll perform the recovery." "Let me know if the liver looks acceptable before we begin." "Will do." "Listen,I didn't mean to sound like I was blaming you." "I'm gonna fix the problem,nathaniel." "I'm gonna fix it." "Should I scrub in on that liver recovery?" "I got your fellowship reports back." "Oh?" "The consensus was that your work so far rates above average." "Above average?" "That's good news." "Above average?" "I'm not letting you go." "You're not?" " You're not." " I'm gonna extend your fellowship." " What?" " One more year." "Extend my fellowship?" "At that time,we'll reconsider offering you an attending position." "Extend my fellowship?" "Oh,I need you to oversee mr." "Moody's tests." "Excuse me?" "Dr. Jonas won't be available for the next few hours, so mr." "Moody needs someone to oversee his tests." "My mother,um,wanted meto ask you for a favor." "Anything." "She'd like youto deliver my father's eulogy." "How do you feel about that?" "I feel it's whatmy dad would have wanted." "Well,I'd be very honored." "So you will." "I'll do my best." "Okay." "This used to bemy father's office." "Yes,I know that." "Sloppy as hell." "Missing cancerin a donor?" "It happens.You can't catch them all." "Gonna cost some of these peopletheir lives." "Probably." "Oh,it's guaranteed.Don't soft-sell this one." "Most of these peopleare gonna die." "Bart,if you don't mind,I have some work to do here." "Do you onlysee these people?" "They talk to you?" "Not really." "Sometimes?" "Once or twice." "Maybe right now." "Sloppier than hell." "Missing cancerin a donor." "Sloppier than hell." "Well,darien,why don't you sit down, and we'll go over this donorsituation right from the top?" " Bart,I have towrite your eulogy -sit your assin that chair." "What the hell'sgoing on here?" "Your eulogy.I have to write it." "So if you just... wouldn't mindleaving me alone... tests are back." "How bad?" "Mrs. Fogerty's heartis fine." "Mr. Moody's kidney and miss o'connell's lungboth have cancer." "So I need to go and notifyall the tissue recipients." "Let's go talkto your patient." "Are you goingto scarborough fair?" "Parsley,sage,rosemary,and thyme remember meto one who lives there for once she wasa true " "alice,there's a small lesionon your right lung." "Cancer?" "You have cancerin your right lung." "Has it spread?" "No.It's just a small spot." "Have her make mea cambric shirt" "parsley,sage - alice." "We need to talkabout your treatment options." "I just need a moment." "Dr. Grant,dr." "Jonassaid the liver's good enough, so he's got mr." "Nedvedready to go downstairs." "Without any seamsor fine needlework for once she wasa true love of mine how's mr." "Nedved doing?" "He's stable.Heart rate's steady." "And the new liver?" "It's coming." "Retractors,please,jessica." "Okay,you need a hand?" "There'svascular metastases." "This guyhas got cancer everywhere." "Oh,yeah." "You know what?" "Tell unos to take it elsewhere." "So,what do you want to do?" "Let's clean all this up,get as much cancer as we can, and send this guy hometo his family." "Sounds good." "Scalpel?" "Scalpel." "I understand,dr." "Stein." "I understandthe position you're in." "The tests didn't work.We're all very upset." "Dr. Stein,if I can beof any further assistance, please just call." "Dr. Sugarman?" "This is kate armstrongfrom one life." "I'm callingabout an unfortunate situation that's developedwith one of the tissue donors." "He's not clotting." "Give him more platelets." "That's not gonna work.Cryo,jessica." " Cryo." " He's bleeding out." "Can't findthe hemorrhage site." "You?" "Vascular clamp." "Come on,come on." "Another." "Suction." " Come on!" " 130 over 45." "We're losing him." "We're flat." "Forget it." "You should haveleft that guy alone." "Go away." "Liver cancer like that --it's always everywhere." "Not always." " You wasted a good organto boot." " No,I didn'T.I sent it back." "Who's gonna take it now?" " It's been on icean extra two hours." " Go away!" "I --I do something?" "No." "I'm just,uh... that shouldn't havehappened." "Yeah,I know." "It shouldnot have happened." "Come on,darien,don't take it so hard." "Surgery like this,we lose someof them." "You'll see." "The first one'salways hard." "Tomorrow,you'll get upand be right back at it." "My first?" "I understand,dr." "Getts." "I understand." "I understandthe position you're in." "We did everything we could." "We did every test.We were as vigilant " "I can't take this back." "I'm sorry.Okay,I'm sorry." "I wish I could,but I can't take it back." "I think you missedthe phone right there." "Rough day,huh?" "Worst day...of my career." "Kate,there is no wayyou could have known." "Nedved died on the table,I heard?" "Yeah." "Yeah." "My god." "Hey,come on.Let it go." "I didn'tfollow my instincts." "What does that mean?" "You meet a patient." "You have a feeling about them." "I got it." "I got it." "I got it." "You make judgmentsthat are almost always correct." "Yeah,well,we try not to do that." "We try to listenand learn." "You come to conclusionsimmediately." "Elizabeth mortonwas a suicide -- a woman my age." "Same hair color,nearly the same size." "She'd hung herself.And when I first saw her," "I looked at her fingernails,right?" "And I noticed that she hadbitten them down to the quick." "I looked at her nails, and I knewthat I should just walk away." " It's okay." " I can't deal with this." "I can't dealwith this kind of thing." "It's okay." "Hey,hey.Shh,shh,shh." "It was the whole thing,and I missed it." "I shouldn't have.It's my fault." "I missed it." "It's okay." "Just stop for a second." "You good?" "Hmm?" "Tom." "Tom,stop it." "Okay." "Why diyou do that?" " Why?" " Yeah,why?" "What kind of questionis that?" "I mean... you,me.I " " I just thought that -- but why now?" "Because I thoughtthat you need comforting,kate." "That's not comfort,tom." "Really?" "Okay." "You know what?" "You are so... untouchable most of the time." "You know,I just thought " " I -- listen,I " " I " "I'm sorry." "I'm sorry.I thought you wanted me to." "I didn't want that." "I knowit's been a terrible day." "And I'm sorrythat I did that." "Kate... bartacobs is --was." "Bart jacobs was..." " bart jacobs was..." " I hopeI'm not interrupting." "No,no,no,I was just..." "I wanted to ask you,if you had a moment, to put a few thingsin the eulogy." "Of course." "Things that,uh,my father loved that,uh,he didn't bring hereto the hospital." "Please." "Um... well,um... he always made brunch for usevery sunday morning." "And,um,he'd wear one of mymom's aprons to make us laugh." "And,um,he wouldnever miss a family event -- a wedding,a funeral,you name it." "You know,whoever it was,he'd be there,dancing." "You know,he --he,uh,he always danced, first with my mom and then,uh...with anybody." "He always danced." "Anyway,um... if I think of anything else,I'll give you a call." "Hey,alice.I'm just gonna check your lungs." "Deep breath,please." "Exhale." "It's so easyto breathe now." "Again." "Exhale." "All my life with the disease,struggling for air, and it's so easy now." "It's weird." "Tonight,I'm supposed to be singing at this coffeehouseon the south side." "I mean,I could never do that before." "And now... alice,we have to make a choice." "Okay." "We can place you on the listfor another transplant, but the wait is long, and there's no guarantee thatyou'll survive the operation." "Or?" "Or we can send youto an oncologist, and he'll treatyour cancer." "But that meansno transplant and the possibility of a radicalre-sectioning of your lungs." "I thinkabout my donor sometimes, about how she lost her life,how she gave me mine back." "I tried to write a songabout her, but,you know,it's just not possible to put it into words,you know." "I just couldn'tfigure out what to say." "I thinkI understand that." "So,what are my other choices?" "These are your choices,alice.There are no other choices." "Why don't you take some timeto think about it?" "And,uh,I'll come back later." "I can't come up with it,bart." "I cannot figure outwhat to say about you." "I notice you've been callingthat young lung patient by her first name --alice." "There's just too muchto consider." "Hmm." "You might want to stickwith "miss o'connell."" "I can'tjust stand up there and read a listof your life's accomplishments." "First namesjust make it harder later." "But..." "I can't neglect them,either." "I also noticeyou've been spending a lot of your downtime hereat the hospital." "There's just one storythat sums it all up." "Particularlysleeping here." "That's no wayto get any clarity." "Just one story." "And finally --and I mean this,darien -- do not have sexwith the nurses." "That's a slippery slope." " Hey." " Hi." "There's a donorin western maryland." "She's a perfect match." "Same as elizabeth morton?" "Blood type,antigens.She'll work for nearly everyone." "Take jonas." "I'd ratheryou came with me." "Take jonas.I need to stay here." "Organ Recovery Run" "Nothwesterm Maryland" "I need an angiogram doneto the heart, as wellas an echocardiogram." "I need a ct scan of the chestand a kidney biopsy." "Kate,this is gonna take hours." "I can't takeany more risks." "These tests alreadyshow positive blood cultures." "No,they're barelyabove normal range." "I can't take any risks." "You can'teliminate all risk." "I'm gonna need to speakwith her primary care doctor as soon as possible." "I'll wait across the street,then." "I can't proceedwith this donor until I know everythingthere is to know about her." "Dr. Grant?" "Alice o'connelljust walked out." " When?" " Just now." "She saidshe didn't want any treatment, and she walked out." "If I'm not backin a couple of minutes, call dr." "Gail to come inand cover for me." " Here you go." " Thanks,man." "Hey." "The tests won't be backfor five hours." "I'm gonna goand get some sleep." "Okay." "You know,you were right... about goingwith your instincts, about first impressions." "Like the first timethat I saw you," "I got this tightnessin my guts and this,uh --this feeling that was " "I didn't like." "You know,you werealready dating dr." "Grant, and I wasa first-year fellow." "And I would alwayssee you, and my fellowshipwas tough." "But no matterhow brutal my day was... you were alwaysin my head." "Every day,I thought about you,kate." " Tom -you know,I was always, in my heart,just... afraidof being with someone, just afraid of really beingwith someone." "You don't have to tell meany of this." "With you,though,I feel..." "I talk to you sometimes,and I can't breathe." "I know what I didwasn't right." "But,you know,there's nothing I can do that seems to penetrate." "You know,you're just... you're just so clean." "You're so --you don't break." "But when you did,it was -- you know,to me,it was so beautiful." " My crying?" " Yeah,I know that's not fair." "But it is the waythat I felt, and I wanted youto know that much." "I just wanted youto know." "So,I usuallydon't sing songs like this, but I kind of feel like itright now." "Smile though your heart is aching" "smile,even though it's breaking when there are cloudsin the sky you'll get by if you smile through your fear and sorrow smile,and maybe tomorrow you'll see the suncome shining through for you light up your facewith gladness" "hide every trace of sadness although a tear" "may be ever so near that's the time you must keep on trying smile what's the use of crying?" "You'll find that life is still worthwhile if you just smile" "So,there's a match?" "I put you on the list." "We're working on getting itfor you." "Do you thinkthis will work?" "You want new lungs,and iwant to try and do that for you." "Glad you're back,alice." "Alice?" "That was beautiful --your song." "Thank you." "Don't be so damn heroicall the time,darien." "What?" "Those lungs -- are you thinkingof re-transplanting?" "Well,what would you do?" "Face the facts." "Tell your patientto make the most of the time she has left." "Then I'd step away." "You're not superman,nate." "You're a good surgeon, but you can't fix a mistakelike this with your knife." "The re-transplantwill work." "Just cut your losses,nate." "Put her on chemowhile she can still handle it, and then just let hergo back to her family." "Dr. Grant." "Vancouver,how's mr." "Moody doing?" "Can I have a second?" " Am I any good?" " Excuse me?" "Am I a good surgeon?" "I've always kept a rule -- you can ask meany question about any procedureor any technique, and I'll give youmy honest appraisal, but I cannot answerto your entire talent." "Yeah,but you judge it." "I work with you in hopesthat you'll learn enough to be a valueto this institution." "But you know." "You know who's good.You know who's not good." "My needs are selfish.I want help here." "I want to runa successful hospital." " To do that,I need -stop." "Stop bullying me,okay?" "You got tounderstand something." "I'm about a second away from walking out of here." "Okay." "Should I?" "I quit twice,and I neverasked dr." "Jacobs to stop me." "I quit of my own accord." "And each time I came back,dr." "Jacobs said the same thing." "He reminded methat this thing that we do here is much biggerthan our feelings about it and that he neverwould have invited me here if he didn't thinkI had the talent." "Okay." "Dr. Jacobs would say that the talentis all in our hands, and we have great hands." "The ability to succeed,however, is in our headsand in our hearts." "And so,dr." "Simon griffith," "I invited you herebecause I believe in you." "I asked you to remainbecause I still do." "The rest... well,that's up to you." "Hey." "So,is it timeto go to the hospital?" "No." "What is it?" "It's not that I don'thave feelings for you,tom." "Because I do." "But?" "You're justgetting a divorce." "I'm barely a year out." "You know what,kate?" "I'm ready." "You may think you are.And...you might be." "But..." "I just..." "I just need to bein this emptiness for a little while longer... until I knowwhy I'm coming out of it." "It's not that I'm so... what did you call me?" "Untouchable." "Yeah.I'm not...untouchable." "I'm just alone...right now." "And I've needed to bealone." "But when I'm readyto be with someone again I hope it's with you." "We're leaving now." "We'll be arriving in pittsburghin two hours." "Dexter moodyand alice o'connell will both be receivingat st." "Jude'S." "Bart's funeralis in three hours." "I know." "We're cutting it close." "Hey." "So... the story is that dr." "Jacobscalled dr." "Grant darien for nearly 10 years." "Dr. Grant's from connecticut,in case you didn't know." "I don't know anything personalabout dr." "Grant." "Yeah,the story has it that at first dr." "Jacobshated dr." "Grant." "I don't know -- "a silver spooning his ass" kind of thing." "I haven't heardthat story before." " Hey,simon,sit down." " Hmm?" "Hey,simon,give me that." "Sit down." "Yeah." "The story is dr." "Grantgot fired about four times before dr." "Jacobsfinally made him an attending." "I mean,it's just a story,but -- mary,I'm not dr." "Grant, and dr." "Grantis certainly not dr." "Jacobs." "No,simon,you're not dr." "Grant." "Thank god you're not dr." "Grant.You're -- leaving.I am leaving." "You know,I could have been an attending at any hospitalin canada by now." "Oh,so,then you'rejust gonna crawl back home." "Yeah." "Is thatwhat you really want to do?" "So stick it outanother year." "It's not like any of usare going anywhere, so stay here and sufferwith the rest of us." "Look,I got to go backto work now." "I really hopeyou do the same thing." " Can you zip me up?" " Sure." "Your tie's crooked." "There." "Thank you." "Janet and trippasked me to speak today." "They thought that bartwould have wanted that." "So I sat downto write this eulogy,and,uh I couldn't start." "Maybe,um... maybe it's because I thoughtthat once I started," "I...wouldn't be able to stop." "Or maybe it was justthat I felt that,uh... that if I wrote this, it would meanthat bart was actually gone." "Organs are in,nate." "The thing is,bart will never really be gone." "Darien,if you're gonna do this... great teachersare never really gone." "...You got to go,son,now." "If you're gonna do this,you got to go." "Like I said,janet asked meto do this,but I think that bart would havewanted his own son to speak, instead of me." "I was his student,his coworker...his friend." "But tripp... tripp is his son." " Thank you." " I have to go.I have surgery." "I have to go." "Are you sureyou want to do this?" "I do." "It's risky." "This one's worth it." "You think?" "Certain patients,you just know." "Certain patientsdeserve this kind of action." "Well,whatever you thinkis best." "I do." "Even if I don't approve?" "Even if you don't approve." "Okay,darien." "But this time...you're on your own." "Okay." "You'll do fine." "But you are on your own." "I know." "Dr. Stein,kate armstrong." "I'm just following upon the liver we sent you." "I'm so glad it went well." "That's such a relief." "Yes,it was very lucky to finda donor like this so quickly." "We're all feeling very relieved." "Okay,dr." "Stein,I'm sure you're very busy." "Feel free to follow upwith me if you get a chance." "So,dr." "Griffithhas finished up with mr." "Moody." "The pancreasand kidney went in just fine, and nathaniel is transplantingthe lungs right now." "Great." "Did the other organsarrive safely?" "Yeah,I just spokewith the last doctor." "Well,that's good.That's good." "You did good." "Well,I,uh,just wanted tofollow up and drop this off." "I'll let youget back to work." "Tom?" "Yeah." "The first time I saw you,I wanted to do that,as well." "Yeah." "Light up your facewith gladness hide every trace of sadness although a tear may be ever so near that's the time you must keep on trying smile what's the use of crying?" "You'll find that life is still worthwhile if you just smile"