"SAVAGE NIGHTS for thierry ravel" "for lino brocka" "Morocco, March 1986" "I feel I go through life like an American tourist doing as many towns as possible." "Sagittarians always want to be elsewhere." "And you?" "Were you like that?" "You were young too." "That's life." "It's like that." "It begins with dust and ends with dust!" "That's how it is." "Not just here but everywhere." "Paris, April 1986" "I landed at grey Orly airport." "I bought a paper and saw that Jean Genet had died." "He once said:" ""Only violence can put an end to man's brutality."" "When did that spot show up?" "Couple of weeks ago." "Nasty, isn't it?" "Well, maybe we should take a little biopsy." "Okay." "Are you alright?" "Yeah." "You don't use gloves anymore?" "No." "They're impractical." "Anyway, I don't like them." "Be careful." "Yes, but nobody lives forever." "I want locations today." "No messing around!" "Okay, keep cool." "Damn, Olivier!" "Don't block the light, idiot." "Two hours here..." "Listen, Kader..." "I don't want to do ads." "I'm only here for your sake, not mine." "So be nicer." "What's up with him today?" "No chocolate this morning." "Is that it?" "I thought it was something else." "Poor kids who make it want everyone to scrape and bow!" "Lording over the minions and their video cameras." "What do you want?" "I want everyone to do his job!" "You want flunkies, is that it?" "I just want the cameraman to do his job." "Then don't treat people like shit!" "Alright, let's go." "Come on, we'll get a take." "Sex was the only way you saw to rebel." "But you can change, if you want to." "Open up to others." "Bare your soul." "Let go of yourself." "Let go of your illusions." "Learn from your disease." "I'm exhausted." "Hello." "Are you Laura?" "Yes." "I'm Kader Djalil." "We had an appointment..." "Was everything explained to you?" "Vaguely." "It's an audition, okay?" "How old are you?" "18." "I have your photos." "Come here." "Where did you get them?" "Your agent sent them, didn't he?" "I'm not an actress." "Kader, I gave you her photos." "I found them in a box in the hall." "You did well." "Hi." "Jean, directory of photography." "He does the lighting, etc." "I know, I know..." "Okay." "Do you ride?" "No, a friend brought me on his bike." "Okay." "Get the camera." "Laura, we'll improvise." "I'll give you the cue." "The theme is jealousy." "Do I need to talk for a video clip?" "It's not a video, it's a commercial." "I thought it was a video." "No, it's a commercial." "Is that okay?" "I don't mind." "It's no different." "Not at all." "Alright, look at me." "Not too far away." "I want to catch her eyes." "Okay, rolling..." "Where have you been?" "For a walk." "Where to?" "Just around." "Who are you fooling?" "I walked around." "Who was that guy you were with?" "Just a guy I see around." "I say hello to him." "You look like you've just been screwed." "Now you're going too far." "You're talking rubbish." "That's good." "Now, Laura, same thing but this time, you try to gain the upper hand." "Okay, go Laura..." "Look straight at me." "Look at me, Laura." "I'll look at who I want!" "What do you want?" "You'll be back in the gutter I rescued you from." "I'll find someone else." "You won't find anyone." "Not like I love you." "You know about love?" "Go to the window." "It's the wolfhound." "All right?" "Yeah." "Cut." "That's good, wasn't it?" "Yeah." "Samy?" "Jean, come look." "What do you think?" "Go on, shoot." "You'd have had a scoop if I had fallen!" "You mean, if I had fallen." "Wouldn't it have been good if I'd fallen?" "Answer my question." "What makes you think I want to film death?" "To make money..." "You okay?" "And you?" "I'm fine." "Remember Jean?" "I guess so." "Hello." "Hi, Jean." "How are you?" "Great." "I want to go home." "You go, then." "I'll stay for a while." "I'll be back later." "Of course." "Come on." "Let's go!" "Oh, come on!" "No!" "Here's a towel." "Thanks." "You know about rail surfers?" "I'd like to film them." "No need to go to Rio." "I could do it for you." "I thought you only did music." "You film news as well?" "What's your story?" "I am... me." "You like guys?" "You think?" "I'm asking you..." "Lie down..." "I won't rape you." "Shit!" "Marianne will rip me to shreds." "Oh, come on!" "You can handle it." "Find me a job." "Ah, blackmail!" "You'll sleep with me if I find you a job?" "No!" "You don't understand." "Well, come on..." "Take off your jacket." "Don't look like that, you'll survive!" ""Visit the night of the man sentenced to death within yourself."" ""Stripping yourself of flesh, you climb over death..."" ""Look the world straight in the eye."" ""We hadn't finished talking of love..."" ""Hadn't finished smoking our Gitanes..."" ""How can courts sentence to death..."" ""A murderer so beautiful as to make the sun look pale?" "..."" "Hi, Laura." "It's Jean." "Remember me?" "We met at the audition." "I'd like to see you." "I keep thinking about you." "It's ages since I felt like this." "Like what?" "Like a kid again." "A new feeling where you ask no questions." "Like the first girl I ever flirted with." "She was a friend of my cousin." "I was 15 and a virgin." "We rode mopeds in the forest." "You lost your virginity?" "No, we didn't make love." "The first time I made love, I was 13." "He was a filthy rich surgeon." "Drove a Porche." "He was 25 years older than me." "I remember... one night he took me to a nightclub." "We danced all night." "And I said to myself:" ""this guy wants to fuck me."" "I was disgusted but I knew I'd do it anyway." "I went to the toilets, looked at myself in the mirror." "I had shadows round my eyes." "I felt ten years older..." "Not very glamorous, for the first time." "I can't imagine it." "What, that he was surgeon?" "No, that you were only 13..." "Your hair's all tangled." "What are these little stars?" "I went to a party last night, dressed up as a fairy." "Go on, open it." "I love huskies!" "It's the wolfhound." "Sorry Kader didn't use you for the ad." "No big deal." "Anyway, my mom didn't want me to do it." "You told us you were over 18." "I'm only 17." "Do you often lie?" "It makes the world bearable." "It's funny..." "My little fag..." "Want a drink?" "Another vodka." "And you?" "The usual, a glass of wine." "I take reality as it comes, day by day and I kiss it." "Welcome to reality." "For me, reality's getting up at 7:00 for work." "Is that all?" "You must be very unhappy." "You're fortunate to be so easily unhappy." "There are so many other, more sophisticated ways." "You don't know real unhappiness, distinguished working-class gloom." ""And when night falls, my dreams are of him."" ""Of my man..." Chorus!" ""Of her man..."" ""Not that he's good-looking, or rich, or strong, but I love him..."" ""It's stupid, I know..."" ""He beats me up, oh yeah!" "He steals my money, oh no!"" ""But in spite of everything, what can I do...?"" "It's a bit too low for me!" ""I've got him under my skin." "I just go crazy."" ""He could make me do anything for him, I swear I'd even kill..."" ""I go all funny,"" ""when he runs his hands over me..."" "Back in position!" "Quick!" "Come on!" "Move yourselves!" "Come on, one more time." "Catch it with both hands!" "Samy, are you ready?" "Get the ball out!" "Go, Samy!" "The pack needs working on." "Well, I didn't recruit them." "Who wants a bit of fun at Mr Andre's?" "No thanks." "Damn, the water's off again." "In a hurry, or do you always drive like this?" "Always." "Who is Mr Andre?" "An old bitch!" "I want a sandwich, a big one." "Over there." "No good here." "Try the next..." "Did you lighten your hair?" "Not at all, you just never looked at me." "It's odd." "I have a good memory." "But I never seem to remember people's eyes and hair." "People's?" "I'm not "people"!" "Shall we go?" "Where to?" "Your place." "My place is a real mess." "It doesn't matter." "You're unbelievable." "Guys usually want to screw me after five minutes." "You just wait." ""Should I, shouldn't I...?"" "I have to tell you..." "I like guys, too." "I know." "You do?" "Yes." "Well, I sort of guessed." "But you don't care?" "Yes, I care." "Look at that stunner!" "Try your luck." "No, you try." "What's the matter with you?" "Listen to you!" "You go." "Good evening." "My friend's got a crush on you." "It's true." "He's Samy." "And you?" "Sylvie." "How about you?" "I'm Jean." "Do you want to come for a drink with us?" "Nearby?" "Yeah." "Yeah, around here." "Don't worry, we won't eat you!" "Come in." "This place is wicked!" "This is where Dali met his wife Gala." "Where are you from?" "Switzerland." "I study art history at the Sorbonne." "Were you out buying sexy underwear?" "Exactly." "I didn't have time to buy any." "Make yourself at home." "Would that be wise?" "Tell me, who's your favorite painter?" "I haven't decided yet." "What are you doing?" "He's my man." "You're kidding." "That's not cool!" "Damn, she won't let me fuck her." "I don't blame her." "What is it?" "I can't sleep alone." "Can I get in?" "Of course..." "Easy, Laura, please." "In the Sloth family, I want the mother!" "Okay, she's here!" "You want a little cuddle?" "I can't sleep on my own anymore." "You'd rather sleep with your mom?" "What does that mean?" "You don't mind sleeping alone?" "What a question!" "No." "I know you're next door." "But you're alone in bed." "Stop it, Laura." "Without a man." "What would I do with a man?" "What will your mom say if you're late?" "I'm not a kid anymore." "Your hair's really long." "When did you last cut it?" "Seven years ago." "Hey, stop it, cut it out!" "Are you ticklish?" "Yes, I am." "You have lovely breasts." "I swear." "Really, they're pretty." "Small breasts used to be the fashion." "But it's true, I swear!" "I want to tell you something." "What?" "What?" "Nothing." "I don't know." "What are you laughing at?" "Nothing." "Do I make you laugh?" "No." "Must be nerves." "Are you afraid?" "Maybe." "Are you crying or laughing?" "Both." "Paco, come to the table." "I'm sick of your paellas, I can't stand them anymore!" "Stop it, Paco!" "Don't you like paella?" "She messes them up." "No..." "She does." "Stop drinking, Paco!" "Has Marianne been here?" "No." "Did I say something?" "No, why?" "I don't know." "I feel like I made a blunder." "Been here long?" "About six years now." "That's to say..." "we left Samy's father." "I met Pablo..." "and it's then we come to Paris." "And I began working in cafes." "Just like that." "To help us on our way." "That's how one day I met a Dutchman." "Quite nice really." "He was an animal!" "Drank fingerbowls in restaurants!" "Your mom worked around here?" "In the clubs." "She never went with customers..." "Well... very rarely." "I once tried to be a hustler." "You?" "Yeah." "Did you need money?" "No." "It was in the rue Sainte-Anne." "I went to a shady hotel with a drunken Italian." "He got undressed and we got into bed." "I wanted cash in advance..." "He got angry, it escalated, we almost came to blows but then I just got out of there." ""A big black bird..."" ""Who has lost his memory..."" ""But still greedy for life..."" ""Running wild..."" ""This is who I am..."" ""That's why..."" ""You're running away..."" ""But this is what binds us..."" ""Beyond monotony..."" "That's good." "You could make a record." "I already made one with Marc." "I can't do everything." "You have to want to." "I never could choose." "Say no to what you like the least." "I can't say no, I never learned how." "Do you have a t-shirt?" "In the closet." "This one?" "In the corridor." "Were you writing?" "Yeah." "What about?" "Why didn't you come?" "It's no big deal." "You came, so it's all right." "That's the main thing." "I thought guys only cared about their own pleasure." "Especially gay guys." "What do you know about gay guys?" "Do you mind if I jerk off?" "No." "Why did you call me?" "I slept with Laura." "I didn't tell her I'm HIV positive." "It was like a dream." "Like I'd forgotten the virus was part of me." "I felt nothing can happen because we'll love each other." "Is it love... or are you just kidding yourself?" "Perhaps both." "I do some pretty awful things." "But when I go back to her, I feel clean." ""To the pure, all is pure."" "Saint John?" "No, Saint Paul." "Are you sure?" "What do you do with guys?" "Wouldn't you like to know!" "Safe things." "Five minute hand jobs under bridges." "Shocked?" "No." "You know..." "I know." "We've never spoken like this before." "We wanted to, but we couldn't." "That's right." "Jean you must tell her." "You must." "You have to be brave." "I never get angry." "Yeah, always serene." "Do your possum." "What, again?" "What sort?" "A very possummy one." "A lustful possum!" "Stop looking at me like that!" "You'll make me come." "You remembered!" "Yes!" "Again, again, again." "You're a big girl now." "Blow them all out at once." "Pathetic." "Thank you, thank you." "Oh no, the cake!" "Wait, he's cutting it up." "I want it now." "I want it all to myself." "Greedy!" "Come here, Laura." "I have to tell you something." "What's wrong?" "You know I've been with lots of guys." "Some dodgy ones." "Perhaps we should be careful." "Careful about what?" "I had an AIDS test." "It was positive." "Did you know the first time we made love?" "Yes." "You didn't tell me?" "You knew and you didn't tell me!" "I don't believe it..." "How could you do a thing like that?" "It's outrageous!" "You're a monster!" "How long have you known?" "A few months..." "Don't make judgments." "You don't know what it does..." "No and I don't care." "You should have told me!" "It was the least you could do!" "Not a word." "Do you realize..." "We made love and you didn't say anything." "I thought nothing could happen to you." "Even so... even if nothing could happen to me, you should have told me." "I don't know how to explain..." "It's as if... it isn't part of me." "I can't take it in." "You thought about it though..." "I'm sure you did, when we were making love." "And you didn't tell me." "You don't trust me." "That's not the point." "I want you to come." "Stop it, stop it!" "Ever since you told me you were HIV positive," "I no longer care about myself." "It's you I'm worried about." "It won't come between us." "Promise?" "Yes, me too." "Swear you'll take care of yourself." "But I can't live without him." "You're not the only one." "Other people love you, too." "Think about them." "I can't anymore." "I can only think of him." "So I don't count anymore?" "Of course you do." "I need you, too." "Don't leave me..." "Let's go away for a while." "I don't want to." "You don't understand." "Of course not." "I can't." "I don't understand." "I can't live without him." "Stop getting in such a state!" "There's no hope for me." "What?" "No hope." "Pull yourself together." "You're just in love!" "Hi." "You okay?" "Mom, this is Jean." "Pleased to meet you." "Likewise." "Aren't you hungry?" "Is it bad?" "I hate food like this." "Aren't you eating?" "No." "You don't drink either?" "No." "And he doesn't smoke?" "What keeps you going?" "AZT." "Very funny." "I don't care what you do with your own life." "But don't wreck my daughter's." "Is that funny?" "No." "I'm sorry." "He'll never change." "Leave him." "What is this?" "Aren't you ashamed, wallowing in all this..." "Have you no pride?" "I'm proud to love him as he is." "All you want from a man is home comforts." "Well, I don't." "Poor thing." "Everybody was young once." "You don't look your age." "Thanks..." "You're mocking me now?" "I've got better things to do than listen to this nonsense." "Goodbye." "Goodbye." "You've upset her." "I wasn't nasty, was I?" "No, she flies off the handle." "He's got the same nose as you." "Very funny!" "Hello." "I've come for Maurice." "Who's Maurice?" "You'll see." "For me?" "Of course." "That's Maurice." "Hi, Maurice!" "What a great dog!" "Cute, isn't he?" "I'm really happy." "You've been here for two weeks and we haven't had a fight." "It's never happened to me before." "Two weeks isn't long, but it's a good start." "Those slippers are a nightmare." "Why?" "You look like an old man." "Little old man!" "What's wrong?" "They're great." "Hello." "I'm fine..." "Tonight?" "It'll match my skirt." "Not bad." "Everything okay, Madame Serein?" "Fine." "Laura!" "Excuse us..." "How many times have I told you not to chew gum in the shop?" "Out!" "Give me my money." "Get out!" "Okay..." "What are you doing?" "I like this one." "I think I'll take it." "It's a shame." "You have no class." "Bye, you old hag." "You won't work around here again." "If I report you for moonlighting, it'll cost you you old bitch!" "You do that." "Now get out! I think I'll go to film school." "Very original!" "What have I said now?" "You don't care if I'm on the streets." "But you aren't." "I am." "My mom doesn't want me because I lost my job." "She's a dragon." "No she isn't." "Put yourself in her shoes." "What was he like at my age?" "Cheeky." "But sensible." "I saw Frederic Toussaint yesterday at the theater." "And he said to me: "No, it can't be true." "Jean isn't positive."" ""He just says that for effect." "Anyway, he's not even sexual."" "Are you bisexual?" "No... are you disappointed?" "Never tried it with a guy?" "Not even with Jean?" "We probably messed about a bit at school." "He'll pay dearly for it." "And I'm bust because of that girl." "Steal something, man." "Don't start going on about your criminal dad." "What did all his hold-ups and eight years inside do for you?" "You're just like all those other fools." "You think the way you look will win you respect." "That's not being a rebel!" "Are you kidding?" "Of course not." "So what is?" "Being marked by fate and having real dignity inside." "'70s talk!" "It's not." "Jaime's a Robin Hood kind of highwayman." "Steals from the rich to give to the poor." "Now, it's just motorways..." "You don't mind me talking to Samy?" "He's cute..." "Good taste, too." "Thanks." "He's a bitch." "You can talk." "Vain bastard." "And you aren't narcissistic?" "Be nice to each other." "You bastard!" "Are you satisfied now?" "Now piss off!" "She's completely crazy!" "Stop it, Laura." "What happened with Samy doesn't matter." "It's a party, so stop it." "Why do you do this?" "What is it with you?" "Vero told me you drove your last girlfriend completely crazy." "What is this crap?" "She's paralyzed because of nerves." "You poisonous bitch." "Isn't that what happened?" "What crap!" "Piss off." "Is it true that Maria taught you what a woman is?" "Don't touch me." "Calm down." "You disgust me!" "Calm down." "Laura!" "What's wrong with you?" "You're incapable of loving me." "Incapable." "You prefer that little whore." "If you could see how pathetic you are." "He turns you on but you don't love him either." "You don't love life." "You suck everyone dry but what do you give?" "Why's it like this every bloody time?" "You're responsible for it, just you!" "I want everything to be okay." "I'm going to the coast tomorrow to see my grandma." "She's the only person I trust." "Will you be gone long?" "I don't know." "Will you see your dad?" "What?" "My father went to Spain with a tart my age." "When you get back, we'll try to live together." "We'll see." "I don't know if I'm ready." "Yes?" "Mom, it's me." "What's going on?" "I'd like to sleep here." "Well, come up." "Aren't you going to say goodbye?" "Sometimes I'll do anything just to forget I'm wasting away." "Can you imagine coping with that threat every second of the day?" "Nothing will happen to you." "I'm certain of it." "Take care." "You too." "Nothing will happen to you!" "What does an 18-year-old kid know?" "And all I think about is myself." "I'm just made up of bits thrown together any old way." "I sometimes wonder who infected me." "There's no blame." "I see blurred faces melting into images of the virus." "Evening." "Good evening, gentlemen." "Come in." "You know the house rules." "Yes, of course!" "Everybody's here!" "Hello." "Not too bored?" "Hello, Fabrice." "Haven't seen you for ages!" "What are you waiting for?" "Take your clothes off!" "Hang on." "Mr Andre provides the girls, but he gets a pay-off." "You coming?" "A rugby player." "My favorites!" "So, then..." "Hit me." "Go ahead." "More." "You love it." "Are you leaving?" "No fun with the chicks? Don't you like girls?" "Yeah..." "You did pretty well for a first-timer." "Leave us a minute..." "I'm Pierre-Olivier." "And you?" "Samy." "I have something which may interest you." "We should meet again." "Call me." "Ever heard of "alchemy"?" "Yeah." "What?" "Damn it!" "Can I come in?" "Of course!" "What is it?" "Are you sick?" "Are you alone?" "I was sleeping." "I was dreaming about Laura." "Her face was rotting..." "Her cheeks were all hollowed out and white... Her hair was greasy and twisted in a bun...." "And she had blue rings around her eyes... She was a witch." "I don't feel like it." "Like what?" "Like screwing, not after tonight." "Just 'cause I touch you doesn't mean I want to screw you." "What happened tonight." "Nothing." "What happened?" "I'm sorry." "I feel like puking..." "So I did it:" "I hit him." "And I couldn't stop." "It was as if it wasn't me." "Worst of all, it gave me a hard-on." "It did, really!" ""This is Jean." "Leave a message after the tone..."" ""...and I'll get back to you." "Goodbye."" ""Hello." "It's Laura."" ""I'm still in Nice."" ""It's 3:00 am and I can't sleep."" ""Answer me."" ""I know you're there..."" ""I don't care if you're with a guy."" ""Just answer."" ""I know you're not alone." "I can tell you're with Samy."" ""But I don't care."" ""Just pick up the phone!"" ""Why are you doing this?" "It's pointless."" "It's 3:00 in the morning." "I'm here for my stuff." "I'm moving in with Jean." "Hi, Marianne, good evening." "What are you saying?" "Is this a joke?" "No, why?" "Why are you here?" "I brought him." "I don't understand." "Can we talk a minute?" "Where are my gloves?" "Samy..." "Leave us for a moment." "No, wait..." "What?" "Can we talk just for a moment?" "I love you." "Marianne." "You can't just leave." "Listen, I'm moving in with him for two months." "Stay a minute." "You're taking him away from me." "I knew straight away!" "Cool it!" "It isn't..." "I don't care!" "The two of you are not leaving together." "Taking my man, just like that." "You must be joking!" "Why are you acting this way?" "Because I won't put up with this!" "It's ridiculous!" "You don't get it." "I'm staying with him for two months." "I'm telling you..." "you're messing up his life." "He doesn't need me for that." "Well, well!" "Why are you here?" "Well, come in..." "I'm just making some herbal tea." "Isn't Jean here?" "No." "I never thought of you as an herbal tea sort of person." "Are you living here?" "Here and there." "Where's your girlfriend?" "In England, I think." "She's writing about dog fighting." "Pitbull terriers." "Have you heard of them?" "No." "They're dogs that tear each other apart." "Do you sleep with Jean?" "I'm not gay." "It would be in your interest to sleep with him." "You don't know what interests me!" "I'm not after money or glory." "I just want some action in my life." "A bit of excitement, you know?" "Isn't fucking Jean exciting?" "You've got a problem." "That's all you can think about." "Do you intend to stay long?" "I don't know..." "I don't think you will." "Oh really?" "Yeah." "How would you know?" "Because Jean's like that." "People come and go." "True." "So how come you're still here?" "I live here." "You do?" "They come and go but you stay?" "Exactly." "Aren't you lucky!" "But, one day, someone will take your place." "Maybe, but not you." "You're good at that." "You despise Jean." "Stop it." "Let go, relax." "How can you sleep with someone you despise?" "You'd do anything not to lose him, even let me fuck him." "You're wrong." "It's not true." "Sorry, Samy." "We're not going to make love." "More parking fines..." "You okay?" "Fine." "How was Nice?" "Well, you see..." "This girl was in bed with Bendl." "They get undressed and so on and Bendl says, "What about a blow job?"" "So the girl goes down on him and she sees the word "AIDS" tattooed on his cock." "The girl freaks out and says, "Are you sick or what?"" "So Bendl says..." ""Don't worry." "Just do it."" "So she gets going, he gets a hard-on..." "Then she realizes it doesn't say AIDS, it says ADIDAS." "You're a pain, smoking while we're still eating." "Don't preach." "You with your red wine..." "And you and your Coke and pizza!" "Kids today!" "He tried to screw me earlier." "I'm not surprised, he has no scruples." "Yours is the only cock she wants!" "It's true." "Let's go!" "It's pretty pathetic, two guys together!" "I want you to help me to forget you..." "To stop wanting you." "I don't want us to split up." "How do you love me?" "What kind of love?" "I'll stick with my memories of you..." "And try to change erec..." "I mean, direction!" "I want to be like I used to be..." "Going out, meeting men..." "Not expecting anything from anyone." "Do you know this one?" "Listen..." ""It's dark and you take it..."" ""And you roll it..."" ""It's strong and pungent like wood..."" ""It makes you drunk..."" "I was a punk at first." "I had a mohawk." "Then some Arab hit my pregnant girlfriend." "I was furious." "I shaved my head." "That's not funny, missy." "And Pierre-Olivier?" "He was National Front, but he quit." "They didn't like us, we cramped their style." "They're gutless." "They let the wogs take over." "The wogs?" "We call them wogs." "They're like rats." "Finished, dickhead?" "Shut it, you bastard!" "Nazi lover!" "The skinheads are attacking Arabs!" "I love you." "Hey, Samy!" "What'd you do?" "Paco, what are you doing here?" "I cracked." "She made paella again!" "Go to bed now!" "You're a pain..." "After the fight, I thought about my dad." "I felt like joining him in Spain to talk him into doing a hold-up." "Samy, I know your father was arrested." "So what?" "Sleep tight, Paco." "Aren't you sleeping with me?" "I'll take you to Seville to see Dad." "I promise." "Are you gay now or what?" "I want to make love with you." "Put a condom on." "I haven't got one." "In the bathroom." "I don't want to." "Do you know what you're doing?" "Yes." "What did you say when you first came in?" "Nothing." "Samy, we're not doing it without a condom." "Don't touch the papers, Rosa." "Aren't you coming?" "No." "I love you." "I want to be with you." "I'm here." "No, you're not." "You can't get him out of your head." "What's up?" "Come on, we're going." "He must fuck you, at least." "I bet he doesn't." "I bet you drool like a dog, doing your possum's eyes." "Hoping for sex every other week." "Shut up!" "Why do you follow me like a dog?" "We're going out! What's so special about you?" "You weren't the first man to make me come." "Hey, are you pregnant?" "Of course I am." "Didn't you notice?" "No." "Well, it's about time." "How's it going?" "Okay." "At first, I felt like throwing up all those pills." "But AZT is quite important." "How's your T-cell count?" "Just under 200." "Well, it can make them go up." "Keep trying." "But I can't drink, I can't be reckless anymore..." "Hi, Karine." "What are you doing here?" "Eating alone?" "Sake, sweetie?" "Serve your girlfriend first." "His ex-girlfriend." "Still friends, though" "Now we are." "Good pals." "Some candied spider's legs?" "Very nice..." "You pick up such hot numbers!" "She doesn't know how to bend bananas." "You're disgusting!" "Is that ginger?" "Yeah." "Gets you going." "Some tuna fish?" "Oh no!" "I hate raw meat, really." "Do you know the story about the TGV?" "Camille, do you know it?" "It's the launch of the high-speed train." "I fear the worst." "First class carriage, champagne, classy people... sake, too..." "There's a woman, about 50." "She says:" ""It's extraordinary, you feel nothing."" "When the train arrives in Lyon, the same woman exclaims:" ""Extraordinary." "You feel nothing." "Quite extraordinary!"" "Do you want to hear what I'm recording?" "Sure." "What the hell is this?" "I'm not dying!" "Jean, calm down." "You piss me off, I'm not dying!" "Just calm down." "Stop it!" "Stop!" "Why did you go out with me?" "I loved you." "Yeah, and why are you with me?" "I'm your friend." "I want to live I don't want to die!" "Why did he say that?" "Forget it." "He's drunk." "Why did he say he didn't want to die?" "He drank too much!" "Let him go, it's okay." "I'll take you home." "Calm down..." "Listen, just calm down, okay?" "Crack my back for me." "Hey, cut it out!" "What are you doing?" "You'll see." "We won't make love..." "I wouldn't have, anyway." "Why not?" "I'll tell you later." "What's he doing?" "I don't know." "Step one is the purging of Satan's work." "Samy, you're crazy!" "You do it." "You're so tough!" "I'm not faking." "You think that's what pain is all about?" "Mr Jean, are you there?" "What are you doing here?" "Surprise!" "Do you have to sleep with everything that moves?" "Who's this hysterical cow?" "Where'd they drag you up from?" "Is this funny?" "Pretty funny." "You find this funny?" "Upmarket whores..." "That's a new one!" "This whore had better move her fat ass." "Want to see my ass?" "I'll show you my ass..." "Fuck off, bitch!" "Stop!" "You're completely nuts!" "Is this what you do while I'm away?" "That's enough!" "Now calm down." "You're out of your mind!" "Christ!" "You're like two mongrels fighting over a bone." "Are you the bone?" "Yeah, that's me." "Does it give you a hard-on, seeing people suffer?" "Don't give me that!" "You're not the only human being suffering in the world!" "Everyone suffers, so stop it!" "Anyway, I didn't even sleep with him." "But I would have had I felt like it." "Now calm down." "Don't touch me!" "Easy, easy..." "Who is this bitch anyway?" "I've had enough, now shut up! You come in, start yelling, wake everyone up..." "So, shut up!" "Do something, don't just stand there!" "Do I deserve this?" "I should have stayed gay." "With shrews like you two..." "This isn't love." "You're just possessive." "Well, you're not possessive." "Do you love him?" "I was just spending the night here." "I needed some tenderness." "Him too." "We've shared some wonderful moments." "He gets tenderness from me, alright?" "It's not the same!" "Not anymore." "I'm with someone I love, too, but it's different." "Sometimes, you need to go elsewhere." "Understand?" "I give him everything and he gives me nothing, see?" "So, either you go, or I do." "Don't push me away when I'm wiping your tears." "I tell you, either I go or you go." "See, I get this thing, it had gone but it's back again." "I comfort you, you push me away." "It makes me want to kill you." "It's easy for you." "You think so?" "Stuck like an idiot between you two." "Perhaps I asked for it." "Nobody can take this away from us." "We're above the law." "Your father found your old paintings." "Why did you give it up?" "Does he know that I'm HIV positive?" "Yes." "And?" "He said, "Nothing will happen to him."" "You know, sometimes, since his operation I wonder which of us will go first." "It's awful, isn't it?" "I've often thought the same." "Why do you get so worked up about that girl?" "You prefer me with guys?" "None of my business." "We've never interfered." "Except the first time I brought that Danish boy home." "You didn't love that boy." "No more than any of the others who followed." "How do you know?" "Jean... this this virus can allow you to love." "Do you know what love means?" "I did once." "Why did you never touch one another in front of me?" "It's hard to talk to you..." "It's difficult... to touch you..." "I was always afraid of you." "Children aren't scary." "Why did you stop working?" "I've been telling you for years to go back to work." "There was your father, there was you..." "It makes you feel guilty." "You say to yourself:" ""I'm neglecting them, I don't spend enough time with them."" "In the end, you stifle them." "Messing up a life isn't easy." "You didn't mess up yours." "Not really..." "But I sometimes feel I did where you're concerned." "Think of yourself instead of everyone else." "Be selfish sometimes." "Come on, dinner's ready." "Are you daydreaming?" "Claude, carve the joint." "Eat it while it's hot." "You asleep?" "What do you think?" "I got back late." "An accident..." "Yeah, a jerk hit me." "I had right of way." "I knew something would happen, but that you'd be okay." "So you're clairvoyant now?" "Phoning me early in the morning... just to wind me up!" "Piss off!" "Do they have all-night hairdressers now?" "Do you like it?" "Virile, huh?" "I was at Mr Andre's." "Nothing better to do?" "Everything pisses me off, even Marianne." "And this pisses me off!" "You don't know everything, you know." "I try to help you... but I could stop and just let you die!" "Hello!" "I run the neon lamp shop downstairs." "We're doing renovation work." "It may be quite noisy." "Please accept this champagne with our apologies." "You picked a bad time, but it's very kind." "Thanks." "What a clown!" ""Hello, it's Laura..."" ""So you're still not there..."" ""I've nothing to tell you." "I spend all day getting bored."" ""I'm scared." "I need to talk to you." "Answer, please..."" ""Hi, it's Laura again."" ""I'm sorry to call so often."" ""I can't get you so I'm talking to your machine."" ""It's more faithful and it isn't in love with Samy."" ""I'll keep calling 'til you answer so your line will be busy."" ""Tomorrow, the next day..." "all day, all night."" ""Supposing Hollywood calls to offer you some work...."" ""I love you more than I've ever loved anyone."" ""You have no right just to throw it all away."" ""I don't get it."" ""I love you." "All those guys you go with - it's just fucking."" ""How can you destroy your life like that..."" ""when I'm offering all the happiness anyone could give?"" ""I want to give." "They give you nothing."" "Piss on me." "Speaking horoscope." "I'll tell your fortune." "Your luck has run out." ""Death is looming, I see it all."" ""What I'm doing scares me."" ""People who sully..."" ""and destroy others are punished."" ""Punished by whom?"" "I'm going to burn down your apartment... and any other place you and Samy try to live." "You really want me to wreak vengeance?" "You, your family, your friends, you're all going to die!" "I won't let you make me suffer all alone!" "Laura!" "Put that phone down!" "Have you ever heard of Hell?" "Hang up the phone!" "Have you heard of it?" "That's enough!" "Give it to me, I'm making a call!" "Get out!" "I'm fed up with this guy!" "I hate you, I hate you!" "Calm down!" "It's amazing, the state he puts you into!" "Calm down Laura." "Stop it!" "You think that's what love is about?" "Yeah, I do." "Making his life hell?" "He makes my life hell." "So you make each other's life hell." "Then what?" "I'm going to bed." "Coming?" "Hello?" "This is Laura's mother." "I'm calling because I don't know what to do." "She won't sleep or eat anything." "She vomits... breaks everything." "It's intolerable." "She says a word from you and she'll feel better." "You believe her?" "Finish it then." "Tell her it's over." "Don't say that!" "Say it isn't over." "Your mother said that, not me." "Go out with a normal guy, instead of a queer getting buggered by little punks." "So your hysterical mother's normal?" "You think you're normal?" "I'm going back to bed." "Bunch of masochists!" "Well that's that." "That's what?" "So he hung up." "What can I do?" "I just tried to talk to him." "Calling him a queer!" "It's the truth." "You're vulgar." "Vulgar, right." "You're stupid!" "Go to your room." "Laura!" "Fuck off!" "He can stuff his champagne..." "Asshole!" "Look, Mr Neon man, fuck your champagne." "There, you asshole!" "Should be locked up." "He's sick." "Sorry?" "I've decided." "First, you're going to move out." "Second, you leave Samy." ""Third, you never look at another man."" "Lastly, I'm leaving you." ""You'll be alone."" "All alone..." ""I wish you every happiness."" ""It would be so simple..."" ""...if you just chose peace and quiet..."" "...real love." "All you do is destroy yourself." "It could've been so good, your health, work..." "But you don't care that you're destroying yourself." "It's what you want." ""Everybody lies and says you're wonderful."" ""The truth is you're spineless and pathetic!" Hello." "I'd like some sleeping pills." "Strong ones." ""I pity you, and there's nothing worse."" ""Haven't you done enough?" "I can never have kids."" ""You don't care." "You won't get away with it!" "I swear, I'll tell the whole world what you've done!"" ""I didn't tell you I had an AIDS test."" ""I'm HIV positive..."" ""You contaminated me, you criminal!"" "I want to die!" "It's him!" "All because of him! Stop it!" "Look what you've done to my life!" "Open up, Laura." "Stop this bullshit." "Stop that racket." "Someone will call the cops." "Screw the cops!" "If you want to make a scene, do it at home." "Laura, cut it out and open the door." "Laura, I can't help you unless you open up." "Open up... come on." "Open it." "He's letting me die." "I can't fight him anymore." "But I'll still go on loving him when I'm dead." "Listen..." "Stop it!" "You're insane!" "What's wrong with you?" "Stop!" "Show me..." "You've fucked me up, Jean." "I'm fucked because of you." "So go ahead, jump." "You think I can't do it?" "What's going on?" "Who's this?" "I'm the caretaker." "Identity papers, please!" "He doesn't want me." "Stop getting so upset." "I'm pretty, aren't I?" "I only have my license." "That'll do." "Do you want to go to the hospital?" "No!" "It would be for the best." "Shut up!" "I said no!" "Are you sure?" "Can't force her." "What's going on?" "Excuse me." "Mom!" "Laura, what happened?" "Nothing, it's over now." "What?" "Nothing." "What do you mean nothing?" "You'll be able to rest." "A clinic will be better than home." "A clinic?" "A nuthouse, you mean!" "No darling." "I promise you, it's super." "It's nice, full of showbiz people." "I've spoken to everyone there." "They'll take care of you." "I don't believe it!" "Laura, please..." "You could make everything okay." "Just make love to me." "Make love to me again." "Stop it, Laura." "I want your cock inside me." "Give it to me." "Stop it." "You don't understand." "Nobody ever made you come like that..." "Yeah, that's right, dear." "Take me away." "Look!" "It's the wolfhound..." "When you find another girl, maybe you'll be able to love her." "Yes, perhaps." "In Algeria, my father had an orange grove." "We had to leave in '62." "I met Laura's father in Marseilles." "He came from a big family of Spanish republicans." "Laura's birth was an accident." "We divorced immediately." "Don't worry, we're not going to lock her up." "She'll be better upstairs." "What's it like?" "Everything will be fine, don't worry." "You sure?" "Yes." "Doctor, may I have a word?" "Yes, I'd like to speak to you." "I'm not going to tell you the whole story." "Give Laura an AIDS test, but don't tell her." "Don't move away to try to save me." ""Who can tell exactly..."" ""What rage is..."" ""A rustling murmur..."" ""Or a thundering storm?"" ""Being able to say no..."" ""To the siren's call..."" ""Or roaring like a lion..."" ""Entering the arena..."" "Laura!" "How are you?" "Fine." "You look better than last time." "It's the sea, the wind!" "Which one's your boyfriend?" "Christophe?" "That's him." "Do you love him?" "I like him a lot." "You like him a lot!" "Are you with anybody?" "What about Samy?" "Hardly ever see him." "Not that it's any of my business..." "You used to think it was." "I've changed, Laura." "I keep changing." "It's too late." "I want to make love." "I don't." "Not anymore." "I can only be true to one person." "It's sad to be with a guy you don't love." "I wanted to share my life with you... but it was impossible." "You're never satisfied." "Always wanting something else, but I can't live like that." "If you stop searching, you're dead." "No, not everyone's like that." "Of course." "You taught me so much about solitude." "Then I wanted your child." "And there's this awful disease between us." "It's like a stranger watching us." "Why did you lie?" "At one point, I really thought I was HIV positive." "I wanted to share everything." "All's fair in love and war." "Kiss me..." "On the lips..." "A little kiss..." "He didn't see, I swear." "Are you sure?" "I look at this blond kid in Laura's arms and I really believe it's ours." "I ask myself: "How could we have had such a blond child?"" "Your brother's a real idiot." "Stop, they may be here." "Go look over there." "What?" "Over there." "See what this is?" "Can you feel it?" "I'm going to enjoy this." "When it's over, even your mother won't recognize you." "That's enough." "We're going to cut your balls off, Jamel!" "Fuck you, fat bastard!" "Make him eat them." "Here go your balls..." "Pierre-Olivier!" "I've got AIDS." "If anyone moves, you get it!" "Who is this asshole?" "I know him." "He's not kidding." "You have no shame." "Let's talk." "No point talking to people like you." "Call them off, or you'll eat this." "Go on, do it!" "Let him go." "Take off, lucky bastard!" "Go to that red Fiat near the bar." "Not so proud now!" "Where you going?" "Fuck off! Laura," "This evening, I was coming off the ring road heading into Paris." "I stopped at a traffic light." "Four kids were crossing the road." "The boys were holding the girls' hands." "This holding of one hand in another hurt me terribly." "A glimpse of what you wanted, what I could never give you." "What you need when you're 20." "One day, I'll overcome whatever stops me taking your hand and whispering words of love." "I have no right to ask you to wait." "You have your own life." "But if you can help me to live, then do so..." "Laura?" "It's Jean." "Where are you?" "The edge of Europe." "Just say the word and I'll come back." "I love you." "I'm alive." "The world isn't just something that goes on around me." "I'm a part of it." "It's a gift to me." "Perhaps I'll die of AIDS, but it's no longer my life." "I'm part of life."