"I'm Ian Thorpe." "I'm 28 years of age." "I'm a swimmer." "Ian Thorpe interview, January 16, 2011." "Day one." "Is he being a dickwit, or is he being serious?" "No, he's tagging." "No, I'm being serious." "'Cause the thing is..." "He can hear you." "I look at what I can do, and from what I've kind of seen," "I..." "I think that I can swim faster than what all the other people are doing." "Do you think you can swim faster than you did?" "Yep." "If I didn't think I could do it," "I'm putting at risk my entire career that, you know, is, if you look at it, you know, statistically, it's pretty impressive..." "And these people can't drive." "And I'm saying, 'You know what?" "I want another crack at this.'" "Um, I think there's more things that I can do." "The team needs better results than what it's had, and I still think I have something more to give." "The first talk of a comeback was about December, and really, that talk has not stopped since then and yesterday, it became an avalanche..." "I tell you what, Andy, he still draws a crowd, Ian Thorpe." "Something like 15 cameras from around the world, all eyes on our most successful Olympian in the pool." "A five-time Olympic gold medallist and now..." "So I just went down." "The room is quite big." "Yeah." "They've had to move the stage back..." "Oh, God." "..because there's more people." "The level of expectation that's on me is enormous." "It's probably only outweighed by my own expectations." "And because of venous drug testing requirements, how long is it till you can race?" "It's nine months until I'm allowed to compete, and we'll make a decision on how much competition I need as opposed to how much training I need and the experience as well." "I was taken to see the swimming venue for the London Olympics." "I could taste it, which..." "You know, I haven't felt this way about swimming for a very, very long time." "And then what about this bloke?" "15." "Lane 5." "Someone wake him up." "He's gotta swim the final." "Ian Thorpe of Australia." "Youngest Australian male international since John Konrads." "What a big moment for him." "And away." "Check both the Australians." "Hackett, a good start." "Likewise, Thorpe, splitting the pair." "So the two Australians immediately take it out in front." "Grant Hackett, the young Australian, is out by a couple of body lengths." "And Thorpe has moved to second place." "Australia, one and two." "Thorpe is moving through beautifully." "He's timed his run to perfection." "It's Thorpe coming over the top." "Hackett is trying to hang on." "Great for Australia!" "Two gold caps fighting it out!" "Thorpe!" "Thorpe!" "Thorpe may be in front." "Thorpe, Hackett." "Thorpe and Hackett, they go in." "They hit it!" "Thorpe won it!" "Thorpe!" "World champion at 15!" "Oh, that's unbelievable!" "I was probably 13 when I actually started racing in the open competition." "By the time I was 14, I was on the national team, and then I think it was probably when I was 15, when..." "Yeah, it was only when I became world champion that I actually went, 'Oh, I'm really good at this.'" "That was the best tactical race I have ever seen." "I don't know about that." "I just wasn't too sure how I was gonna do it, but, you know, it paid off this time." "Yeah, it has been great having my sister, who's also a swimmer, and my dad, who was a cricketer, in the family, and, um, they've gotten behind me and they've really helped me with my swimming." "In 1997, I think I missed 108 of 200 days of school." "So I finished Year 10 by correspondence, and I sat exams on planes and things like that just to finish it, and then left school." "You know, I was in an adult world then." "I wasn't in that, you know, grow up with your mates and go to parties and things." "You know, some of my friends, to me, seemed old, 'cause they were in their mid-to late-20s and I knew them from the team." "Just continually having a camera shoved in your face, really." "Um, you have to learn how to speak, I think, and I think it's gonna be great for me in the future." " Is he gonna do it?" " 3:43:80?" "Thorpe comes in!" "Thorpe comes in!" "It's pretty cool that no-one swam faster than that in history." "Let's look back at our history as a species, and, yeah, you were faster than everyone, so if the lions were chasing you, you could beat everyone and they'd eat someone else." "The Thorpedo." "The 16-year-old from Milperra is at the 15-metre rope." "He's looking at another world record." "World record, Sunday." "World record, Monday." "Will it be a world record on Tuesday?" "He comes down to touch." "Yes!" "Oh, yes!" "He's done it!" "He has done it again!" "I know I cried, his sister cried, and I think Ken inwardly cried." "When I was younger, you know, my goal was to become an Olympian and my dream was to win Olympic gold." "So when I made the Olympic team, it was frightening because I've never swum at the Olympics," "I feel like I'm just a kid..." " Take your marks." " Set..." "And Thorpe is away." "A new Olympic record this morning." "Ian Thorpe got a magnificent start." "Yes, the traditional butterfly kick off the wall." "You can see it under the water there." "And he's well ahead of world record pace." "He is looking sensational." "Ian Thorpe is number one." "A kickstart for Australia." "Size 18 feet." "And look at that world record." "He's got it beaten." "Thorpe is coming in gold and a world record." "Ian Thorpe!" "I wish I enjoyed it more when I won my first gold, but I was actually thinking of my next race." "Thorpey." "Thorpey." "Even when I'm marching around the pool with my gold medal, you know, it's kind of neat that you've got it, but trying not to let myself enjoy it too much so I get distracted." "So it was, you know, quite managed, which is, you know, unfortunate, but given, you know, what was about to happen, it was worthwhile." "The 4x100 freestyle relay at the Sydney Olympics was kind of, you know..." "I guess, for Australians, it was really an iconic moment in sport." "You know, we were most definitely, in that race, the underdogs." "Once we'd decided on our team for the 4x100 relay, there was a tremendous sense within the entire swim team that we could win this race." "Michael Klim has just broken the world record." "Everyone in that race all went far beyond their means to produce that performance." "Round they go for the final 50." "Hall is in front." "What can the champ muster?" "A gold medallist earlier tonight." "Now he's digging deep." "The crowd is roaring." "Their hero is coming up." "Hall and Thorpe." "Thorpe's in front!" "Thorpe and Hall!" "Thorpe goes in!" "Australia win!" "New world record!" "We have just..." "The Australians have just broke the Americans' stranglehold." "Yeah, on paper, we shouldn't have won." "The Americans were the world record holders, and they've never been beaten in Olympic history, and the euphoric way that you feel on an occasion like that is, you know..." "It really is indescribable." "You know, all my dreams and more happened on the first day, um, and I think Australia woke up with a hangover after that day of competition." "So you're finally leaving Australia to start your training." "That's exciting." "It's kind of weird as well, because it's kind of..." "It's like it's all happened now." "It's kind of, like, the beginning of the next phase." "Yeah, it is." "It really is." "It's great." "So..." "But it's cool." "And I had issues." "I was really stressed at the airport because I had issues filling in my drug testing form to give my whereabouts." "Um, you have to let them know where you are for one hour every day, and if you're not there in that one hour of the day, you get a strike against your name." "So if you get one strike, you have to start providing more information." "Right." "So..." "And I couldn't." "The system was so slow in updating it and I couldn't remember how to do it." "Just, like..." "I had a drug test last night." "Where?" "At home?" "Yeah." "How did that go?" "The funniest thing that I was, like..." "You know, I think I'm pretty good at it now, doing the sample, and I..." "Yeah." "So I finished giving my sample, or was halfway through providing, but I'd filled enough." "So I put the beaker thing, and you've got a lid for it, and so I was, like, 'Oh, I'll put the lid on as I finish going to toilet,' and I pushed it on," "hand soaked right through it." "I'm, like, 'Oh.' And then I'm, like, 'Is the sample big enough?" "'" "I'm, 'Uh...' Trying to..." "Yeah." "Anyway, um..." "So that was my drug test last night." "Nice." "So why have you come here on your own?" "Is it to get away?" "Is it to focus?" "Yeah, it's just so that there's not another layer of things that I have to handle and do and..." "Why would you make something that's already hard more difficult?" "That's what I like about my sport and about training, that pursuit of perfection." "Ask me in six months, but, you know, when I compete," "I compete knowing that, you know," "I've trained harder than everyone else, and usually my competitors know that as well, so when it comes to race day, uh, usually I have very little concern around what I'm gonna do." "So how are you going with getting back to that elite level of training?" "Is it going well?" "Well, not crap." "I'm just not as good as I should be." "But there's something in the combination of my size, my hip width, my proportions just work for what I do." "Now that I have to do shorter events," "I really have to modify the technique that I have to suit those events." "So this part here is called the catch, um, and then all the way to the catch is the recovery, so I'm actually usually there when I start to catch, here." "So my other arm's above the water, which is just..." "Like, you can see how it's kind of a bit odd." "So I have to now initiate here, which I've never done before, when this hand's coming under water there, which is right for sprinting, and so you kind of throw yourself over the top." "Maybe it's true that this whole thing will take longer than what I thought." "18 months of training might not be enough to make the Olympic team." "Maybe what I'm attempting is impossible." "And the winner of Australia's most popular male Olympian is Ian Thorpe." "The Young Australian of the Year is Ian Thorpe." "Well, the Telstra People's Choice Award this year goes to Ian Thorpe." "He makes swimming look so easy." "His name is Thorpe, the greatest that we've probably ever seen." "He's a very good media performer." "I think he's astute, he gets the media." "The intrigue and the mystique and the aura had made it, 'We want more." "We want more.'" "We noticed the BRW quoted Michael and Suzie and Ian all being around the $1.2, $1.3 million-dollar earnings in sponsorships." "One of the biggest criticisms from the Australian public has been sometimes Ian's been too manufactured and too silky-smooth in his delivery." " Goodnight, Angels." " Goodnight, Thorpey." "I think I grew up a little bit too quick." "When I was 15, that was on the street, that level of recognition and, you know, people wanting to have a chat, you know, autographs, photos." "I don't know if I was ever excited about it." "If I was out in public, more often than not, I'd have my head down to try and avoid people recognising me." "Adoring fans are nothing new for Ian Thorpe, but he says two admirers carried the devotion too far." "With the actions that these people actually took place, the police were concerned, and when the police were concerned, you know, I was also concerned." "He's not a bloke's bloke." "He's not your cardboard cut-out Aussie bloke." "How's the girl scene going?" "Um, I wish it was going a little bit better than what it is." "Um, I don't have a girlfriend at the moment, unfortunately." "I would love to be able to meet a girl and to actually have to introduce myself and say what I do." "What about marriage and kids?" "I wanna be married with 2.3 kids." "Do you sleep with men or women?" "With women." "You sleep with women?" "Yeah." "The first time I heard about it, I think I was 15." "Like, that early." "A lot of gay men were putting up posters of me and at the time, I was, like, 'Eh, it's a complement.'" "It's just that being asked about it, it just gets annoying." "I think, in some ways, people feel threatened by me, because they can't define exactly what I am." "While he has the world at his feet, life at the top is taking its toll." "I'm very paranoid about everything now." "You know, I didn't like that I'm being talked about all the time, that my life, you know, became a soap opera." "I false-started at the Olympic trials and was disqualified from my favourite event." "My close friend Craig Stevens had to give me his place so that I could race." "The decision I've made is to stand aside in the 400m freestyle in the hope that I'll get to see Ian swim that race on the final of day one of the Olympic Games." "I felt an immense amount of pressure to have to win this race now, not for myself, but, you know, for Craig, for the team, um, and, you know, it made it difficult." "Clean start." "Thorpe up very quickly here, into his stroke." "Hackett with him." "I didn't hate swimming." "I hated what was around swimming." "I hated that everyone kind of assumed that I just went and that it was easy for me, and it's not." "It's tough." "Hasn't lost for six years." "Hackett's very close." "Really close." "Closing." "Thorpe and Hackett, it's gonna be a touch." "They hit it." "Thorpe's got it." "What a race!" "Hackett, second, and third, Keller." "One, two for Australia." "And Thorpe wins his fourth gold medal at the Olympic Games and joins Murray Rose, Betty Cuthbert and Dawn Frazer as the only Australians in all sports in 108 years to do it." "Ian Thorpe, he is a true champion." "Look at the emotion." "He knows how hard the last year has been for him, and he's done it." "An absolute legend." "I've never seen him like this." "I mean, he's in tears, basically." "Pronto." "Come stai?" "E, bene, bene." "Uh, OK." "Perfetto." "OK, ciao." "Yeah, I'm not going crazy." "So why are you here in Switzerland?" "Um, because of the coach." "Simple as that." "If you can manage the balance, you'll do minimal strokes." "Gennadi's a Russian-Australian... ..who is, I think, probably..." "Well, I think he is the best sprint coach in the world." "When you put yourself on a wave, like to surfing..." "Yep." "To catch this, you must relax your hand and put yourself on the wave." "Oh, I'm competitive." "I won't let anyone beat me in training anymore." "I've become very competitive." "I'll do a set and Gennadi will bring in, like, rounds of swimmers to try and beat me." "It'll be, like, bring in, you know, some fresh youngster that'll try and race against me." "Which, you know, this has been good for me to get back, you know, feeling competitive." "Sport is not training." "Sport is racing." "And a lot of people say, 'You must train hard, you must do this, you must do this.'" "You must race well, but what you need to do for this, it's your own business." "What do you think?" "Perhaps the best swimming isn't done in racing." "When I've been here, it's the first time I've felt like" "I'm the best swimmer in the world again, and it's, like, yeah, ok, so maybe that should be a fleeting thought, because you aren't training like that yet, so..." "But, you know, I did feel like that." "It was, like, 'Hmm..." "This is all becoming very interesting.'" "Um..." "Why do you feel like that?" "Because, potentially, I am." "It's how I used to feel." "So it was kind of crazy and..." "You know, so now there's a balance between feeling that way and also then being able to train to justify feeling like that." "How are you feeling now on a personal level?" "For most of the time," "I feel what it was like to be and to act like an athlete." "It freaks everyone else out that I can not speak to people for months." "I don't want to hear small talk." "I don't have time for it." "I mean, you have to, all of a sudden, become pretty much the most selfish people on the planet to do this." "You just suck everyone's energy out of them just for your performance, and you have to." "No, no." "Ooh!" "Ooh." "And, you know, I'm enjoying, you know, the lifestyle of training." "Thank you." "How much?" "Where is it?" "This is the difference between now and four years ago." "I wasn't enjoying it then." "I'm actually going to discontinue my professional swimming career." "It was a tough decision, but one that I'm very pleased that I've made, and I've been working towards this decision for quite some time." "You know, if kids ask their parents," "'Why isn't Thorpey swimming?" "'" "I want them to say," "'Because he's done everything he wanted to do in this sport.'" "My refusal to continue to swim was more of a reflection around that ownership of me and me not being able to live my life how I wanted to." "When I decided to stop, you know, I was really happy with that." "I was really pleased that I'd been able to step away from something that, you know, was really making me miserable." "I realised that there were so many other things out there and I was restricting myself to one thing." "Waking up to the endless kind of opportunity and possibility." "Being able to dance, that's what I'd like to have." "I didn't want anything to do with the sport whatsoever," "I didn't watch it, didn't really socialise with most of the swimmers, and spent my time avoiding it." "You know, I also lived in a place where people didn't know what I did." "It was nice to forget about it for a while." "It's huge going from doing the entire training thing to being able to do whatever you want." "I used to do between 30 and 40 hours of training a week, what's normal." "And someone'll go, 'Oh, I do 5 x 20 minutes a week,' and so you go, 'It doesn't seem like much." "Oh, yeah, I'll start doing that or maybe a little bit more,' so you do that just to stay fit, and you go, 'Well, this isn't keeping me fit.'" "Even your perception of what a serving size of a meal should be, it's so out of whack because of what you've been eating and how you've been trying to feel yourself, you just can't get your head around it." "The allegations surfaced in a French newspaper that last May, abnormal testosterone levels were found in Ian Thorpe's sample." "My results were basically leaked." "I had an irregular reading, so the test's still negative, and, basically, it was reported that, you know," "I'd returned a positive sample." "Retired swimming champ Ian Thorpe is reportedly being bailed out by Westpac boss Gail Kelly after being hit hard by the Global Financial Crisis." "After quitting lucrative sponsorships to focus on university studies, the Olympic legend was forced to admit to a cashflow problem." "When you compete as an elite athlete, you expect to be the best at everything." "You expect it of yourself." "As things became a little bit more mundane, you know, I was down, and then, you know, realised, 'I'm feeling down a lot.'" "Um, you know, I call it 'the dark times', but it's, uh..." "Looking back, it's kind of having these momentary periods of depression." "What do you have on your business card these days?" "Um... unemployed." "Unemployed?" "Yep." "You seem to be pretty busy." "Yeah, I am." "So is Ian wishing he was competing at the Games now he is in Beijing?" "I'm being asked that question so many times that I'm starting to think, 'Maybe I should, because everyone else thinks that I should,' so..." "But, you know, I'm happy being here as a supporter." "Ian, go away." "In having some time away and realising that I can do a lot of other things," "I realised that I don't feel as though" "I should shut out this side of my life, the swimming side of what I do." "The swimming world is set to welcome back one of the greatest of all time." "Ian Thorpe is back and he'll swim the 100m individual medley here in Singapore tomorrow, the butterfly on Saturday..." "I have to kind of remind myself," "I'm the guy who hasn't swum for five years." "I forget it from time to time and I think some other people here might forget that as well." "This is kind of the starting point and it will be good that I finally have an opportunity to race." "It's a day before his first competition in six years." "It's like the first day of school." "2,099 days since I last raced." "It's a long..." "Who counted that?" "Someone that's quite strange." "How hard are you on yourself at the moment?" "Oh, look, I'm very hard on myself, but, you know, I'm fair." "I mean, do you think about the guys that you've gotta beat?" "It's actually the other way around." "They have to beat me, not me beat them." "I suppose with his swimming, he's just here really opening the first door to the passageway of competition." "Really, it's about competing, not about specificity here, and he'll swim freestyle when he's ready." "What will be the overriding emotion when you stand up behind those blocks tomorrow for the first time in a competitive race for five years." "Um, I'm going with nerves..." "It's quite strange because, um," "I feel like this has taken forever to come but also that the time's flown." "I like how I feel in that kind of pressure-cooker environment when all of the hard work that you've done comes to a pinhead, that you have to do this right then and there." "What's your overriding sense of emotion?" "Um, relief." "Yeah." "Thanks, guys." "Good on you, mate." "Oh, Chris, huge relief for the Thorpedo, considering he's been out of major competition for 5.5 years." "It was a pretty solid effort, in particular in the freestyle leg in the individual medley." "That will give him a lot of confidence into the future." "He was sixth-fastest qualifier..." "But you swum so well." "No, I didn't think it was very good." "Right." "And now you're here and then we go to Beijing." "Beijing, next tournament." "Uh, no, it's OK." "It wasn't that it was bad, it's just that I expected to go faster." "And I didn't swim very good." "Didn't you?" "No." "Did you watch your back?" "Yeah." "I was, like, 'Oh, you made a lot of mistakes there.'" "Oh, really?" "Yeah." "And I didn't go hard when I was supposed to." "And then I got slammed by my coach..." "Did you?" "..at training." "Yeah, yeah, yeah." "I got slammed this afternoon... which is kinda funny." "No." "OK, one, two, three." "That's creepy." " Um..." " Christian will know." "Christian's got the end." "I think I did market food here." "Yeah, actually, I did." "I had scorpion here." "No." "Yeah, you can have scorpion." "What's scorpion taste like?" "Crunchy?" "Yeah, it's crunchy, but it tastes like, um..." "Can you remember Barbecue Twisties?" "That's exactly what it tastes like." "No!" "Yeah." "Did you, when you came here to commentate and watch the Beijing Olympics, did you ever think," "'One day, I'm gonna be swimming in the pool again?" "'" "Nah." "Right!" "That's the funniest thing." "Last time I was here, I was like, 'Who'd wanna do this?" "'" "I like, most of all, his personality." "He has so many great achievements, but yet he's so humble." "And he's really nice to everyone and when he's talking to you, it's like you're the whole universe." "He's really sincere." "It's funny how young and inappropriate you're allowed to be." "It really suits me." "And it's great that it's for everyone who doesn't want to grow up." "So I kind of, like..." "You know, I fitted in really well when I started here." "I'm, like, 'Wow, everyone's just like me.'" "It's quite a young team, so I've been meeting some of the new people," "I'm not so out-of-era for them, but it's odd, that they were alive when they saw things that I did." "Do you start to get shaky or nervous or...?" "Nah." "I don't do nervous anymore." "No." "I'm over it." "There's a point where you get to where anxiety is actually good for you, but if you're getting into the nervous point, that 'seriously nervous', it's, you know, it's not helpful to performance." "Take your mark." "If you qualify ninth and tenth, you actually have to go to the marshalling area in case someone doesn't turn up." "There's a slight possibility that you can swim." "When you're ninth and tenth, the last thing you want to do is to be waiting at the marshalling area to swim, 'cause you already feel, like, 'I missed out.'" "Yeah, you can go." "Leave all the other swimmers and go," "'Oh, well, I don't get to swim,' and you walk off and go, 'Yep, still feel like a loser.'" "Ian Thorpe's comeback to competitive swimming continues to flounder." "At a World Cup short course meet in Beijing," "Thorpe failed to qualify for the 100m freestyle final." "I realise what I have to work on and it's not things in training." "It's things around racing." "Are you still aiming for the Olympics next year?" "Uh, yes." "Thanks, guys." "Thank you." "Thanks, guys." "Yeah, right." " Oh." " Oh." "I use my hand?" "OK." "So I've gone from a position where every swim before that, no-one's beaten me to going, 'Well, where do you start off?" "'" "Like, what's a starting point to get back to that point?" "I don't know what it is and no-one else does." "So when will you know if you're in the Australian squad?" "That's all the trials, yeah?" "Yeah." "Yeah." "March?" "March 15." "Adelaide." "Yep." "15?" "That's quick." "Should be the end of March." "That's in two weeks." "What is it?" "17 weeks now or something?" "Don't talk like that." "Your, um, prime minister, Helen Clark, did she used to play rugby?" "Yeah." "She was the captain." "OK." "She looks like it." "Oh, don't you be trash-mouthing my Prime Minister when your one's a..." "She's not..." "Oh, come on." "Come on." "Eugh." "What, a little bit of a makeover?" "Helen Clarke?" "A little bit of foundation and, you know, dulling down the rang does not make a hottie." "She's not hot, but Helen Clark, she's been bashed." "OK, if you had to, which one would you kiss?" " Nah." " Who would you rather?" "If you had to." "Tongue-y." "Oh, I feel ill." "Clark or Gillard?" "Jule?" "Yeah, I'd do Julia." "Would you?" "Yeah, for shizzle." "As long as she doesn't speak." "I'm not kicking it." "Pull it." "You pull it." "Come on." "Come on." "I'm not pulling your bags." "Come on." "Please welcome the Olympic athletes." "Give your hands, please." "And, you know, this was probably a pivotal stepping stone for me in my preparation for the Olympic Games." "Oh!" "I performed easy fast." "You're able to swim fast, but it feels easy." "And although you're not going easy, you feel effortless, and it's when your stroke, it just falls into place, and, you know, it's kind of what we train for, what we try and feel and experience in swimming." "It's when you get the rhythm and the balance right, everything just falls into place." "I think it was a significant race for him." "Like, 50.2 in Beijing was a good starting point, but, you know, it was essential, really, he swam under 50." "In this series, his strength has always been the back half of his races, so to see that coming back into vogue is a good thing." "Take your marks." "Two months before Olympic trials," "Ian Thorpe's admitted he's struggling for the first time after missing the final of the 100m freestyle at the Victorian titles today." "But Thorpe says his first race in Australia in six years was not a setback, despite finishing 13th overall." "Having a pretty major problem with anxiety before I swim." "I've had anxiety before I've raced, but it's always been a really healthy, good amount, the kind of amount that makes you fire, not the amount that makes you feel like you can't breathe." "Um, so when I dive in the pool now," "I feel like I can't breathe and I think I'm drowning, um, which, when you're a swimmer is kind of really not good." "Take your mark." "Once I stand on the blocks, even more, and then when I hit the water, it's the worst." "I feel like I don't have enough air in my lungs when I dive into the water for at least, um, for at least 30 seconds." "Yeah, I'm physically breathing, um, like, it's, like, crazy-people talk, because I can watch the video and see myself breathing, but I feel like I'm not breathing." "Take your mark." "For me, that's..." "I feel like I'm in the surf getting..." "Smacked." "..smashed around." "This is how I feel in the water." "And then... then rational thought comes into my head." "This is why it's about 30 seconds, that," "'Well, you've made it 30 seconds and you're not dead, you haven't drowned.'" "And so then, I'm like, 'Oh, so I can breathe,' but then I'm behind and I'm copping everyone's wash and then I've actually got a physical reason for why I can't breathe," "is because I'm getting water from everywhere." "For him, he's just gotta back himself in." "You know, historically, he's been able to do virtually whatever he's wanted to, in swimming terms, and I would think, um, he'll, uh..." "He'll go back to that and, you know, that's what he's got." "That's his background." "Better start." "Uh, there were two different parts." "The second start's better, but the breakout's better on the first one." "So your hands are just a little bit..." "They're there, but they're just a bit loose, so it's really just..." "Yeah, you've got an angle there." "Since being back in Australia," "I went and had every kind of test done, to make sure it wasn't something physical, 'cause I thought it may have been, you know, something wrong with my chest." "Like, that's how it feels." "Gennadi doesn't understand it, so my coach doesn't understand why I wouldn't be able to..." "Breathe." "..because he's, you know, 'You're a champion." "What..." "I don't understand.'" "He doesn't understand." "Same position compared to.." "That 'up'..." "And then, if you up, you look forward and down and..." "Did you want to have a go at four?" "No, let's stick it on five for now." "Let's get the dive part right, and then we'll play around with that." " I've spoken to a psychologist." " Yeah?" "Um, I think... ..it's a fear of... ..reverting back to the swimmer that I used to be." "Um, of getting this all right and ending up being really successful at swimming and being miserable in my sport." "I'm scared of going back to that and I don't want to." "Thank you for this food and thank you in Jesus's name." "Amen." "Amen." "Amen." "Shh." "Mum can swim, but Dad can't." "When we were kids, we were floating thinking that he was swimming." "Dad shows us how to get under the waves and, like, bodysurf and all of these things." "But we were learning, thinking he was swimming, and he's standing, because we can't touch the bottom." "Yeah, and so we never knew that he couldn't swim." "When you're frightened of water, it takes a lot of convincing to be comfortable with it." "But they used to wake us at 4:30." "You woke us, because we used to say, if they wanted to go swimming, they had to wake us." "Yeah." "We weren't waking them to go swimming, so they had the alarm and they'd come in and say..." "You'd hear the alarm go, and they would be the ones that got it." "And then Christina got so annoyed, 'cause I kept on putting my alarm, like, further and further forward before hers, 'cause she wanted to sit in the front seat." "And it became ridiculous how early we started getting up." "Yes..." "But I'd sit in the front seat for five minutes like this, just cruising." "Anyway..." "Billing, that was the pool." "And now it's here." "I know." "It's bizarre." "Isn't that bizarre?" "It's flown." "It literally has flown." "And, yeah, it's kind of..." "It's do-or-die time." "And here we are." "That's 18 months." "Yeah, which is an incredible short amount of time, but you've done it." "Yeah." "I haven't done it yet." "Ahead of the Olympic selection trials in Adelaide, the Daily Telegraph is wondering if Thorpey has been foxing during his preparations for his comeback." "I just don't think someone of his calibre would." "He knows what he's capable of." "Yep." "He's spent his whole career dealing with expectations, both his own and the country's." "I reckon he knows what he's doing." "I'm getting excited." "One of the great comebacks if he is." "It would be one of the great sport stories of all time." "Let's hope he is." "So do you think Thorpey is foxing?" "As he said... as he said in the press conference, he feels like a poker player and if he was foxing, he'd be a pretty good poker player." "But, um, I don't..." "It's not really in the making of the swimmer to be foxing and to lie to the media." "You kind of want to go out there and test yourself against the clock at any opportunity you have." "It's flattering." "It's so not true." "I wish it was true." "Everyone thinks I'm better than I am." "I'm not competitive either." "No, you're pretty competitive." "I don't think I am." "Yes, you are." "No, I'm not." "I don't think I'm that competitive." "So are you gonna shave down?" "Oh, shit." "What?" "I forgot about that." "You know, the artistic element of swimming is more appealing to me than, you know, just that very physical side." "And, you know, it's the same as a few other sports that it... it... ..is kind of an expression of what your body can do." "I received this one yesterday that is so defining and so moving and I'd really love for him to have this in his hands..." "OK." "..before he races tomorrow." "It's from Eileen, a lady up in Tennant Creek, an Indigenous leader up in Tennant Creek." "'Dear Little Brother, my success drives me, my failure strengthens me." "They were saying that there is times when you have plenty no-good talk coming and your heart gets heavy and your feet get heavy." "So let your failures strengthen you, embrace them, keep them close to you, because you will be stronger for them." "Be strong and only listen inside." "Eileen." "Pretty special, huh?" "It's very special." "Massive crowd on hand here, as you would expect, and so many of them have come to see Ian Thorpe." "He's a five-time Olympic gold medallist." "Just over a year ago," "Thorpey said he was coming back to the sport." "Since then, mind you, it's been busy." "There's been rumour, there's been innuendo, speculation." "'Is he going fast?" "' 'Is he going slow?" "' 'Is he foxing?" "'" "Well, we are about to find out." "And they're away." "Ian Thorpe in lane 7 in this heat." "Goes down to second lap, he is in front." "This is a great sign." "25.15 at the first 50-metre mark." "Ian Thorpe is in front and he's in front by a good body length, which is exactly what he is after." "Here comes Napoleon." "Napoleon and McKeon." "Both throwing out the challenge, particularly Ryan Napoleon." "But Thorpe's still in front." "Remember, it's all about times at this stage." "He's backed off." "So Thorpe has eased off." "And it is a great time." "He's finished third." "And that time, Nicole, will be good enough to get him into the semifinal." "..in particular, over the first 100 metres." "It's the first time he's gone under 1.50 since beginning this comeback." "A lot of people are saying the swimmers that are making the comebacks, they're having trouble with their evening swim after..." "Like, backing up after a morning swim." "Yeah." "To me, I'm more concerned about the semifinal than the final." "I don't actually know until I stand up now." "Um, I don't know if I'll be OK or if I'll just have a meltdown." "Take your mark." "OK, Ian Thorpe's away pretty well." "He's, uh, about equal leader." "Come on!" "Go!" "If anything now, Thorpe has hit the front." "His stroke looks amazing." "Very smooth, isn't it?" "It really looks smooth." "It looks efficient." "He's sitting high in the water." "Not panicking at the moment." "Ian's starting to drop back a little bit." "Third turn." "So D'orsogna turns first and Thorpe has dropped back and dropped back quite badly." "Ian Thorpe is about fifth or sixth position." "He's in big trouble." "He is." "He is in really big trouble, the Thorpedo." "Napoleon, first." "Monk, second - a big swim from him." "And Ian Thorpe, what is his time, Nicole?" "1.49.91." "So the same as he went this morning." "He's finished in sixth place, so he will not make the final." "Wow." "Well, the harsh reality is Ian Thorpe's Olympic dream could be over right here, right now." "He still has the 100 metres, but that's gonna be even harder." "The more time I've had to digest, you know, the more disappointed I am." "Um..." "Where to now for Ian Thorpe?" "I have..." "I have the 100m now, and I have to get myself back up." "I think to see him like that and knowing what he's been through and how much he's..." "he's put himself out there, it's really... it's really..." "It's hard to see, but I'm... ..I guess, like his mum said, I'm really proud." "Get his signature." "The fairytale didn't go to script, but to his fans, Thorpedo was still a hero." "Kids, what do you think of this guy?" " Awesome." " Pretty cool." "He's awesome." "It is what it is." "Actually, I felt worse, um..." "I felt worse two days ago, but I don't think it's... ..I don't think it's hit me yet." "So you're not going to the Olympics." "Yeah." "Thanks for the reminder." "Sorry." "It's alright." "I know, it's kind of..." "It's..." "It's kind of..." "It's tough to kind of comprehend." "Um, I kind of worked so hard for the last kind of 18 months, um, to do this." "Um..." "I kind of..." "I haven't really thought what... ..what to do now, what to do next." "I didn't prepare for this, I didn't plan for this." "Um, so..." "Yeah, I have to work out what to... what to do next, what's gonna motivate me next." "And, yeah, it's kind of..." "it's kind of strange, um... ..'cause, you know, I had the desire to do this," "I wanted to do this and I've trained to do this, and, you know, it hasn't kind of rolled my way this time." "Um..." "So, yeah, I kind of..." "Yeah, I kind of have to work out what the next chapter will be." "Looks like your mum's dog." "It was always gonna be a struggle with time, um, and I'd be happy to keep swimming just to get to that time and then I'm happy to walk away." "How are you feeling coming off the back of the Australian trials?" "Oh, I'm good now." "Yeah?" "Like, I'm kind of spending time with friends and family and being able to chill out and start training again." "So I think this is probably the worst I've ever swum in my career, but for some reason, I'm enjoying swimming again, and I'm cool with that." "Do you think you're still finding yourself, working out who you are?" "Yeah." "I hope so." "I hope so, 'cause I think if you've worked out who you are, you may as well be dead."