"[Voices On Two-Way Radio]" "[Airplane Engines Rev]" "Sorry." "Hike!" "Catch!" "No!" "Quack quack quack." "Goose:" "Look out!" "Whoa!" "He singed my tail feathers!" "Yee-ha!" "All right, Buzz, that's enough of that." "What did I just say?" "That is a good way to lose an eye, my friend." "Hold it." "We've got company at 2:00." "I got him, Mailman." "Hang on." "[Jets Surge]" "Here we go!" " What is going on up there?" " Just moving a road hog." "[Car Horn Honks]" "What kind of stunt was that?" "Just seeing what this baby can do." "This bag of bones isn't rated past Mach-2." "Mach-1." "The G-forces, Buzz." "The G-forces!" "Mach-2." "Got to push the envelope." "Mach-3!" "Buzz, we're tearing apart!" "I'm losing control." "Eject, Mailman." "Hit the silk!" "I can't get out!" "What are you doing?" "Buzz, get back here!" "O.K., I've been in tougher scrapes than this." "Th-There's the ground." "It looks hard." "O.K. Trees... trees." "Ooh!" "Ow!" "Oh!" "That's mahogany!" "Ow!" "Spruce!" "That's fir!" "Ow!" "Ow!" "Pine!" "Oh!" "The ground!" "Ohh... oh... oh..." "I made it." "I made it." "There is a god." "Hallelujah!" "Ow!" "Oh!" "Ouch!" "Owie!" "Ow!" "Oh!" "Ouch!" "Ow!" "Ohh, you're French, aren't you?" "Yeah, ohh, just like that." "[Bell Tolls]" "[Noon Whistle Blows]" "Hey, look!" "There's one!" "Uh-oh." "[Gunshot]" "[Doorbell Chimes]" "[Urinating]" "[Multiple Locks Unbolt]" "Topper Harley?" "Once, perhaps." "Now I am called Tukachinchilla." "What does it mean?" "Fluffy bunny feet." "It's very nice." "I'm Lieutenant Commander James Block." "I knew your father, Buzz." "Until his incident, he was the greatest pilot who ever lived." "We need to talk." "The navy wants..." "[Arf]" "The navy wants you back." "They threw me out." "Why should I go back?" "I came here to get away from the navy, away from flying." "[High-Pitched Voice] The navy is embarking on a secret mission code-named "Sleepy Weasel."" "I'm giving you a second chance, something your father never had." "You're the best of the best." "[High-Pitched Voice] Leave me to speak with the old one." "He is wise in the ways of such things." "The navy really needs you." "Great helium." "Owatonna." "Owatonna." "["U Can't Touch This" Plays On Walkman]" " [What Is It, Fluffy?" "]" " Minnetonka ojibwa tuck?" " [They Want Me To Fly In Battle." "What Should I Do?" "]" " Shakopee, Itasca, Minnehaha." " [We Knew This Day Would Come]" " Matomedi, diphthong, rickshaw..." " [Dances With Bikers Got This For You]" " Mendota..." "Winnebago." " [Cool]" " Nakoma orono." " [While You're Out, Pick Up Some AA Batteries]" " La Toya..." "Tito..." "Jermaine." "#Break it down... ##" "# Ooh ooh #" "# Ooh ooh #" "#Every night I hope and pray #" "#Dream lover will come my way #" "#A girl to hold in my arms #" "# To know the magic of her charms #" " #Because I want # - # Yeah, yeah, yeah #" "#A girl #" "# Yeah, yeah, yeah #" "# To call #" "# Yeah, yeah, yeah #" "#My own #" "#I want a dream lover #" "#So I don't have to dream alone #" "#Dream lover #" "# Until then #" "#I'll go to sleep I'll dream again #" "#Dream lover #" "# That's the only thing to do #" "# Till all my lover's dreams come true #" "#Because I want #" "# Yeah, yeah, yeah #" "#A girl #" "# Yeah, yeah, yeah #" "# To call #" "#My own #" "#I want a dream lover #" "#So I don't have to dream alone #" "#Dream lover #" "# Until then #" "#I'll go to sleep #" "#I'll dream again #" "# That's the only thing to do #" "# Till all my lover's dreams come true #" "#Because I want #" "# Yeah, yeah, yeah #" "#A girl #" "# Yeah, yeah, yeah #" "# To call #" "# Yeah, yeah, yeah #" "#My own #" "#I want a dream lover #" "#So I don't have to dream alone ##" "Wow." "Whoo-hoo!" "[Band Plays "The Stars And Stripes Forever"]" "Ten-hut!" "Admiral, it's good to see you again, sir." "It's been too long." "So it has." "Yes, yes." "How are you, sir?" "I'm in Hawaii?" "Goddamn it, Bill." "I'm supposed to be in California." "No, this is California." "Well, got to run." "Sir, this is your command." "Sleepy Weasel has been planned for 10 months." "The president hand-picked you." "Damn right he did, Ted." "Why don't I show you your offices?" "You've always been a fine soldier, Scott." "Just lead the way." "God, I got to pee." "I had most of my bladder blown off in Guadalcanal." "Watch your step, sir." "There's a lot of obstructions on the tarmac." "# I had a little dreidel #" "# I made it out of clay #" "#And when it's dry and ready #" "# My dreidel I will play... ##" "#Here's the story #" "# Of a lovely lady #" "# Who was bringing up #" "# Three very lovely girls #" "#All of them had hair of gold #" "# Like their mother #" "#The youngest one #" "# In curls #" "# Here's the story #" "# Of a man named Brady... ##" "Gentlemen, he's back." "Hey, Topper!" "Topper." "How you been?" "All right." "All right." "Jazz, the big guy." "Scooter, how you doing?" "Topper, my main man." "Rabbi, mazel tov." "You should live and be well!" "[Glass Shatters]" "Hey, buddy... you O. K?" "You don't look so hot." "You need some help?" "I'm O.K." "You're Topper Harley, aren't you?" "I hear you've got chops the rest of us only dream of." "Throwin' you out was a bum rap." "I'm Jim Pfaffenbach." "Everybody calls me Wash Out." "You're a pilot?" "Oh, yeah." "I'm going to be flying with you." "Good." "Phew!" "[Whistles]" "Cute." "I like to stay in shape." "Thanks." "These all at home?" "Yeah." "The dogs, wife, and kids." "You got pictures of your family?" "I am my family photo." "But everybody needs a family to love." "I could never find time for love." "It's an anchor that drowns a man." "I got the sky, the smell of jet exhaust, my bike." "A loner." "No." "I own it." "I can see I'm going to have to work on you." "Name's Pete Thompson, but, uh... everybody calls me Dead Meat." "Topper Harley." "Just a pleasure." "[Door Closes]" "Attention on deck!" "Ten-hut" "[Pilots] Good morning, sir!" "I don't care how many missions you've flown!" "I don't care how good you think you are!" "You're nobody!" "And for the next 10 days, nobody takes a crap unless I say so!" " Got it?" " Yes, sir!" "I said attention." "Now didn't I make myself clear, or don't you take orders?" "When I say attention, I mean attention!" "Yes, sir!" "Now!" "You eyeballing me, mister?" "No, sir!" "The next time I see your ugly face, I want it shaven!" "Suck in that chest." "Pfaffenbach!" "Who you looking at, boy?" "No one, sir!" "I'm some lowlife that's not good enough for you to talk to?" "This lowlife is god as far as you're concerned!" "Hey, lighten up." "Cut the kid some slack." "Who the hell are you talking to, son?" "Your ego's writing checks your body can't cash." "You got five minutes to stow your gear." "Get moving!" "Yeah, I'm sure deep down he means well." "I hope you were paying attention." "I don't think we've met." "Kent Gregory." "Excuse me if I don't shake the hand of some hot shot whose father caused the death of someone special to me..." "Dominic "Mailman" Farnham." "You mean..." "Yes." "Dominic Farnham was my father." "I was his love child." "It was a hunting accident." "Accident, my deep blue eyes." "It was reckless flying, and you know it." "You O. K?" "This is an incredible coincidence." "But the hunter who mistakenly killed your father... was Henry Pfaffenbach, my father." "I feel terrible." "Isn't this Henry Alva Pfaffenbach?" "My mother was a Pfaffenbach." "Not..." "Doreen Pfaffenbach?" "From Minnesota?" "Yeah." "Then we're cousins." "We used to spend our summers in Eagle River." " Eagle River?" " Eagle River?" "I hope you can forgive me for this." "If it helps, I didn't have seconds." "It's not your fault." "Anyone could've made that mistake." "But him... he's the type of guy that could end up killing every man in this outfit." "Wait a minute." "Why are you mad at me?" "He's the one who ate your father." "Like father, like son." "You've been tossed out once." "Hold it." "Hold it." "We can't fight among ourselves." "We're all on the same team." "I want the two of you to shake hands." "There, now." "Isn't that better?" "Yeah." "Sure." "There." "We're friends again." "Here." "Have some of my lucky gum." "Look, Dead Meat... we fly together, we sleep next to each other, but that's all." "Don't get too close." "Let me handle my own affairs." "He's so complex." "Every report indicates a defensive arsenal in the the "D" and negative "C" categories." "There's also a nest of antiaircraft squadrons." "They can send up an ak-ak umbrella high enough to make any attack ineffective." "I don't have a clue what you're talking about." "Not a fuckin' clue." "I have a shell the size of a fist in my head..." "Pork Chop Hill." "The only way I can get this toup to stay on is by magnetizing the left quadrant of my skull." "Just go ahead and do what you do." "Do you have any soup?" "I'll have the mess bring something up." "I love soup." "I mean, I think I love soup." "It's either soup or duck." "Which do you shoot?" "Duck, sir." "Are you all right, sir?" "Of course I am." "Why?" "What have you heard?" "Nothing, sir." "Send some soup up for the admiral on the double." "Let's go over this slippery weevil one more time." "I want to familiarize myself with it as much as possible." "Give it to me, Ben." "Every word, every detail." "Dot every comma." "Those are some long legs." "I just had them lengthened." "Now they go all the way up." "Wow." "It's nice to see you again." "I was impressed, the way you handled that stallion." "When I saw you dig in your heels, tighten up the reins, and break his spirit," "I wished I was a horse." "Maybe after I finish off this shrink, we can take a canter in the meadow." "I am the shrink." "You're the psychiatrist?" "That's what the diploma says." "I've never been to a psychiatrist before." "You will be gentle." "[Arf Arf]" "Lieutenant Harley, I've been ordered to review your records." "You were discharged from the service 18 months ago for willful insubordination." "You disobeyed a direct order and lost a $30 million fighter in the process." "Yes, but I'm paying it off at 10 bucks a week." "I should've gotten that extra collision coverage." "Wasn't your father involved in a similar incident?" "What do you mean?" "Leland "Buzz" Harley." "Three purple hearts, presidential commendation... then this incident..." "The Dominic Farnham death." "In 1971, his Visa card was canceled." "1975, a broken man, suffocated while working the night shift in a Fotomat booth." "Tell me how these events affected you." "Well, I don't think about it much." "That was a long time ago." "If you'll excuse me, I have some guns to grease." "Have you thought about seeing a psychiatrist on a regular basis?" "I thought you'd never ask." "I mean professionally." "Thanks, Doctor." "Thanks for the advice." "Be careful out there." "I can take care of myself." "No." "You're going to get hurt." "I don't need anybody's help." "I'll be just fine." "Are you O. K?" "Yeah..." "I'm fine." "Ohh!" "Attention on deck." "At ease, men." "Be seated." "You're probably wondering what's wrong with my pants." "They ran short of material when they got to the knees, so don't give me any shit." "I look at all you wonderful guys and I say to myself," ""What I wouldn't give to be 20 years younger and a woman."" "I've personally flown over 194 missions, and I was shot down every one." "Come to think of it," "I've never landed a plane in my life." "You men will be piloting the backbone of our proud American arsenal... the Oscar EW5894 Phallus tactical fighter bomber." "Its lightweight sweptwing design makes it extremely maneuverable and agile." "Beneath its skin of 21 st-century composites, is a highly advanced avionics and weapons package." "Designed for speed and combat acrobatics, it features the latest" "Mrs. Halver series 3800 radarjamming device." "Admiral." "Nurse." "[Block] Gentlemen, the success of Sleepy Weasel depends on our maneuvering below enemy radar." "I want to see a major display of low-level flying." "Topper, Kent, you're up first." "[Kent] Copy, Triple Purple Nurple." "[Topper] Roger, Milli Vanilli Chilly Willy." "Bring them down, boys." "I want your bellies to scrape the sagebrush." "Let's see who's the best." "[Kent] Heading for the canyon floor." "I'm at 150 feet." "I'm at Third and Main." "Very pretty, but enough hot-dogging." "Just checking the traffic." "How'd I do, big fella?" "Don't get me started." "Cut the chatter." "Topper, that was vintage Buzz Harley." "You and your dad are two of a kind." "[Herring's Voice] Your ego's writing checks your body can't cash." "[Block] Topper, what are you doing?" "Get back in formation." "[Block] Topper, you weren't cleared to detach." "What was that about?" "I, uh, thought I saw Elvis." "Let it go, Topper." "The king is gone." "Let's head for home." "Not again." "I need a landing clearance for runway 30... 30 something." "30-30 something has been canceled." "Go to runway 2-9er." "[Block] Wash Out, what the hell you doing?" "Pull it up." "Wash Out, where the hell are you?" "What is your location?" "You're off of radar." "#It's not unusual to be loved by anyone ##" "Going up?" "Yes." "Can I press your button?" "No, you've been slaving over hot psychotics all day." "Let me get that." "[Sniff Sniff]" "That's an interesting perfume." "It's Vicks." "I have a cold." "Oh." "Lieutenant, you're staring." "No, not really." "I'm lost in your eyes." "That is the whitest white part of the eye" "I've ever seen." "Do you floss?" "You're very confident, aren't you?" "When you have 10,000 pounds of thrust at your command, you have to be." "Please, I'm..." "I'm talking to you as a psychiatrist." "I'm recommending that you be grounded." "You've got to be joking." "If I were joking, I would have said," ""What do you do with an elephant with three balls?"" "You walk him and pitch to the rhino." "You are serious." "It's the best thing for you and the mission." "The best would be if you'd stop running my life." "I'm a pilot." "Nobody's going to keep me out of the sky." "Ladies and gentlemen, 12 rounds of boxing for the WBA, WBC, WPA," "RSVP Heavyweight Championship of the World." "Introducing celebrities at ringside, please welcome his holiness, the very popular pontiff," "PopeJohn Paul II." "Second!" "Lieutenant Commander Block, we meet at last." "Isn't this place a little public?" "Actually, a crowd offers remarkable anonymity." "How are we doing at Dudley?" "Well, we're right on schedule." "Can't quite get a reading on Admiral Benson, but Topper Harley's playing right into our hands." "Here's his evaluation." "Clear-cut case of paternal conflict syndrome." "Ah, yes, PCS." "I saw an Afterschool Special on that the other day." "They're years away from the vaccine." "Every time I mention Buzz' name, Topper goes off." "There's no way the unit will function, and I'll abort the mission." "The navy's planes will seem inferior, and the president will come begging for my superfighter." "Best of all, nobody gets hurt." "Well done, Lieutenant Commander." "America can't afford to fall behind." "We need your plane." "This should be a good match." "Both men work for Don King." "Well, fans, that's it." "Good night." "I'm out of here!" "The Strafing Run is proud to present the music of Lawrence Lipps!" "And now..." "[Glass Breaks]" "#What the world needs #" "Thank you." "# Is love #" "Thank you so much." "# That's the only thing #" "# That there's just too darn little of... ##" "Whoa!" "Ramada?" "Kent." "Ramada." "Aah!" "[Speaking French]" "Aah!" "My eyes!" "Why didn't you call?" "I thought you were in Brussels." "Oh, Kent, we were only hurting each other." "I thought that's the way you wanted it." "Something's changed, hasn't it?" "It's not another woman, is it?" "I just couldn't compete with that." "No, of course you couldn't." "What matters is that you're here." "We have a lot of catching up to do." "Let me take care of something." "I'll be right back." "Don't be long, mon amour." "# Someday he'll come along #" "#The man I love #" "#And he'll be big and strong #" "#The man I love #" "#And when he comes my way #" "# I'll do my best #" "#To make #" "# Him #" "# Stay #" "[Thump]" "# He'll look at me and smile #" "# I'll understand #" "#And in a little while #" "# He'll take my hand #" "#And though it seems absurd #" "# I know we both won't say #" "#A #" "#Word #" "Wow!" "Anybody here from out of town?" "Welcome." "Nice to see you." "#Maybe I shall meet him #" "#Someday #" "# Maybe Monday #" "#Maybe now #" "# Still, I'm sure to meet him one day #" "# Maybe Tuesday #" "#Will be my good news day #" "[Music Swells Dramatically]" "#We'll be settling a home #" "#Just meant for two #" "# From which I'll never roam #" "#Who would, would you?" "#" "#And so all else above #" "# I'm dreaming of #" "#The man #" "#I love #" "# One day he'll come along #" "# He'll be big and strong #" "#And when he comes my way #" "# I'll do my best to make him stay #" "#And so all else above #" "# I'm dreaming of the man I #" "# Love ##" "[Applause]" "Ramada." "Oh, no." "Well, if it isn't God's gift to the cockpit." "Kent, your nostrils are flaring." "That flying stunt was pure madness." "If a lady wasn't present," "I'd tear you apart like a Christmas goose." "Keep it up, you'll carry your face in a doggy bag." "What is this macho thing?" "He started it." " Did not." " Did, too." "You're behaving like children." "He's being a jerk." " Am not." " Are, too." "Am not." "Are too, too, too..." "Not, not, not..." "Are too times 10." "That's it." "Stop it." "[Woman] Rumble!" "Don't push." "Hey!" "[Ramada] Stop it!" "Can't you act like civilized human beings?" "Hey, I'm sorry, man." "Oh, thanks." "Listen, Kent and I have to talk, so, please..." "Be my guest." "Let's celebrate, honey." "Hey, everybody, drinks are on me." " Free beer!" " Gin sling!" "You haven't forgotten my offer, have you?" "Little house in the country, white picket fence," "Stairmaster, the whole 9 yards." "Kent, you're everything a woman could possibly want, but I'm just not ready for marriage." "Not yet." "I have to be getting back to the base." "Tomorrow's an important flight." "You know how puffy my eyes get when I don't rest." "Good night." "May I?" "Shouldn't you be getting back to the base?" "If I played life by the rules, but you know I don't." "All right." "You can walk me to my apartment." "I shouldn't have gotten mad in the elevator." "When I want something that bad, I get fired up." "Maybe that's why I worry so." "Maybe more than I should." "Something terrible could happen." "You must..." "Shh, shh." "But I..." "Don't worry." "Everything will be fine." "I promise." "B-Boy, I hope so." "Well, this is it." "It's a nice place." "It's O.K." "The only problem is I have a nosy landlady." "Well, I guess this is good night." "I don't want to go back." "You don't have to." "I don't want to be alone." "And by the way," "I can go all night like a lumberjack." "What about your landlady?" "You can do her, too." "So, I take it you've been with a man before." "I'm a virgin." "I'm just not very good at it." "[Gulp]" "Ohh." "[Plop]" "Ooh." "Ahh." "Ohh." "Ohh." "Ooh." "Mmm." "Yes." "Oh, yes." "Ahh." "Ahh." "Mmm." "Mmm." "Ohh." "Topper." "Mmm." "Ohh." "Ohh." "Ohh." "[Playing Reveille]" "Uhh!" "My spine!" "Wash Out." "What are you doing?" "Get into your flight suit." "We're ready to go up." "I just got kicked out of the unit." "My flight status has been withdrawn." "I'm through, Dead Meat." "What happened?" "It's my eyes." "I've got walleye vision." "Can't something be done?" "There's a delicate corneal procedure... multioptipupiloptomy." "But to keep from damaging the eye socket, they go in through the rectum." "Ain't no man gonna take that route with me." "Is Topper around?" "I'd like to say good-bye." "He didn't come back last night." "I'm afraid he's AWOL." "When Block finds out, he's history." "Flying's his life." "He's the world's best pilot." "We need him as much as he needs us." "Can't find my lucky gum." "Do you have..." "Wash Out?" "[Ring Ring]" "[Crash]" "Oh, my God." "I missed my flight." "You're amazing." "Dead Meat!" "Mary!" "Mary." "Have you come to watch me fly?" "There was a meltdown at the plant, so I got the afternoon off." "Aw, terrific." "[Meow]" "Oh, good news." "We just closed escrow on our dream house." "Wonderful." "When do we move in?" "Tuesday." "The kids are stripping asbestos off the pipes." "That's great!" "Things just couldn't be better for us." "I'm so blessed." "Oh!" "Your life insurance forms came for you to sign." "[Glass Breaks]" "Oh!" "Oh, my mirror." "Hah!" "I'll get another pen." "I'll sign it when I return." "Well, you know best." "You know that global warming problem?" "I've discovered how we can reverse it." "Tell me." "No, not now, lovey-bumpers." "There'll be plenty of time for that later." "And my investigation intoJ FK's assassination..." "You found the evidence!" "Yes." "I have proof here in my pocket." "It's big." "Goes all the way to the White House." "Should I hold it?" "No." "It'll be safe here." "I'm in a jet." "What could go wrong?" "Oh, Dead Meat, we just couldn't be any more perfectly happy." "Where the hell is Topper?" "Thanks for joining the party." "Hey, Topper, hey, have you seen any of my lucky gum?" "Uh, no." "Freedom Squadron, start your engines." "God, that's loud." "My ear canals are very sensitive." "They're stainless steel." "Took a bullet in Corregidor." "Passed straight through." "Here, look." "[Cloth Rubbing Metal]" "Huh?" "We have these to hold down the sound, sir." "Oh, good." "Thanks." "Let's hope they do the trick." "Give me the mike, boy." "For the love of God, man, be careful." "Ever since Normandy, this is Corning Ware." "Those of you who excel during these aerial combat exercises will go on to make up the greatest fighting unit ever assembled." "Topper, keep that nose up!" "He's never done that before." "Red team leader, break off." "Prepare to engage." "Roger that." "Blue leader, prepare for action." "Roger that." "I'm on his 6:00." "Moving in." "I've got tone." "Got him!" "Dead Meat, confirmed kill." "Mrs. Thompson?" "Yes?" "I'm Topper Harley." "Dead Meat's talked about you." "He thinks the world of you." "But shouldn't you be flying with the squad?" "I've got a lock." "I'm closing in." "Uh-oh!" "He spotted me!" "He's slippery!" "Help!" "Help!" "Topper, watch your right side!" "Jeez!" "I'm bailing out!" "Wash Out?" "What are you doing here?" "There's no time to explain." "Uh-oh." "Do me a favor." "Don't land." "What's..." "Get out!" "I can't." "I'm stuck." "Then I must help you." "Think well of me." "Ooh!" "Ooh!" "Aah!" "Thank you!" "Don't look." "Oh, no!" "Oh!" "Whoa!" "Ow!" "Ow!" "Whew." "Oh, man!" "Wendy, I can fly!" "Hey, Topper." "Easy, buddy." "The darnedest thing just happened." "Hang on." "Hang on, buddy." "Topper?" "Ohh!" "Swing him around this way." "Ohh." "Ohh." "Let's go." "1... 2." "In the door." "Let's move it." "Come on." "Ouch!" "Hey." "Enough!" "Hello!" "Ow, ow, ow, ow!" "Ow, ow, ow, ow!" "Oh!" "Aah!" "Aah!" "We'll have you at the hospital in no time." "Aah!" "Good morning!" "Excuse me!" "Wait, guys, wait!" "Aah!" "Let's go, let's go." "Easy, easy, easy, easy." "Let's move." "What a ride." "Wash Out, you made it." "Why, thank you, Andre." "I'll have the veal piccata." "Oh!" "Don't forget the cardio readout." "Where is it?" "Um..." "It's, uh..." "Hey, fellas... inside on the left." "I can't find it!" "Doctor." "What happened?" "Plane crash." "I got to work fast." "I got a lunch." "You're missing the big picture." "Is his penis longer than mine?" "No, Doctor." "Good." "This will hurt." "Aah!" "Give me 15ccs of morphine quickly." "Can you save him?" "Can't be sure." "I'm not a very good doctor." "Thanks, Nurse." "Wait here." "You going to be O. K?" "I'm in a hospital." "What could go wrong?" "Mrs. Thompson, I know you must hate me, but there's something I want you to have." "I've been putting a little away for 10 years." "It's not much... 2,500." "I wish I could do more." "Why, Topper... th-that's so sweet." "Why, with the 3 million that I won on this lucky lotto ticket," "I can take this 2,500 and blow it all on hats." "Right and halt." "[Arf Arf]" "Pete "Dead Meat" Thompson is dead." "So is Mo Green," "Tataglia, Barzini, the heads of all the five families." "It is at moments like these, my dear friends, we must ask ourselves," ""How can this not be part of some larger plan?"" "Do good men like Dead Meat Thompson just blink out like a bad bulb?" "One minute, you're in bed with a knockout gal or guy, the next, you're a compost heap." "Well, doesn't that bother any of you?" "Because it scares the living piss out of me!" "[Block] I never thought something like this could happen." "Don't we have what we need?" "This should prove our planes need replacing." "No, those planes have to fail in combat for the world to take notice." "This is a minor incident." "Minor?" "I lost one of my best men." "Are you backing out on us?" "I'm doing this for my country, not for you." "We'll need the backup plan." "Aim." "Fire!" "Jumping Jesus, they're back." "Fire!" "People, take cover!" "Hit the dirt!" "Cover me!" "Battle stations!" "Battle stations!" "Have they no respect for the dead?" "Aah!" "Aah!" "God, I love a good funeral." "Topper." "Where are you going?" "I'm handing in my resignation." "You said I was dangerous, and I am." "Topper, wait." "Please, let's talk." "Huh?" "They're right." "I'm no better than my father." "Seems no matter what I do," "I end up hurting someone." "Ouch." "You've got to stop comparing yourself with your father." "You're two different people." "We both killed a man." "That's just a coincidence." "He loved jets." "So do I." "He was a loner just like me." "I've even got my father's eyes." "Topper, please." "They're just for luck." "You've got to make your own luck." "You've got to get back in the sky and prove yourself." "Besides, there's something else." "After our first meeting in my office," "I sent my evaluation to Commander Block." "I recommended you be grounded." "I was afraid someone might get hurt." "What are you saying?" "I think someone wants Sleepy Weasel to fail." "That's heavy." "Totally." "That's the other reason why you need to fly." "This could well be your only opportunity to save the mission and solve your personal problems, all in one fell swoop." "Read that back to me, Francine." ""And if you ever put your goddamn hands on my wife again, I will..."" "[Knock On Door]" "You wanted to see me, sir?" "Blank, come on in." "Been expecting someone." "That'll be all, Francine." "Yes, sir." "Pudding?" "No, thank you, sir." "I'll put this to you straight." "Thompson's death was a shock to us all, and that hot shot Harley is responsible." "I want that smirking little wise-ass out of here." "The morale on this base is shot to hell." "Just look out there." "Quiet." "Hardly a man moving." "Roy." "Roy!" "Ah." "Huh?" "I went to school with that man." "He's just not the same." "Been ignoring me all day." "Remind me to send him a note." "May I say something?" "I have no doubt that Harley acted irresponsibly, but his kind lives on the edge, always willing to take a chance." "We need Topper for this mission for that reason." "I like your thinking, Carl." "Besides, Dead Meat wasn't all that good a pilot anyway." "He only had a small family." "His kids are a pain in the ass." "Wife's on the sauce." "Poor bastard's better off dead." "What size shoes do you wear?" "A 9, sir." "Good." "It's settled then." "We'll send Harley to the front." "By the way, thanks for dinner the other night." "Cheryl and I thought the stroganoff was marvelous." "We didn't have dinner the other night." "Really?" "Where the hell was I?" "And who's this Cheryl?" "Ah, doesn't matter." "Run along, Sid." "Cheryl?" "Kent?" "I came to get my chafing dish." "Our orders just came through." "We're shipping out in one hour." "Are you coming this time?" " The chafing dish isn't yours." " It is." " It isn't." " I don't want it." " Take it." " I'll take it." " You stay out of it." " This is not the time or place, but I've got a big score to settle with you, my friend." "Excuse me." "I've hurt him." "Topper." "Topper, you better go." "I have to think." "Well, I don't." "I've fallen for you like a blind roofer." "I'm sorry?" "My heart has fallen down around my ankles like a wet pair of pants." "My whole life, all I've wanted to do is fly." "Bomb stuff." "Shoot people down." "But we've been through so much together." "Ramada, I need you." "I want you." "I want you." "# Only you #" "# Can make all this world seem bright #" "# Only you #" "# Can make the darkness bright #" "Wow." "# Only you and you alone #" "# Can thrill me like you do #" "# Can fill my heart with love #" "#For only you #" "# Wa wa wa wa #" "[Bell Rings]" "Ramada!" "Topper." "Ramada!" "#All this change in me #" "I love you." "I love you." "# You are my destiny #" "It's not that easy, Ramada." "# When you hold my hand #" "This is one night you're not turning me out." "#I understand the magic that you do #" "# You're my dream come true #" "Whoa!" "Aye aye aye aye!" "Aye aye aye!" "#Ah, ah, only you #" "# Can make this change in me #" "#For it's true #" "# You are my destiny #" "# When you hold my hand #" "#I understand #" "# The magic that you do #" "# You're my dream come true #" "#My one... #" "#And only you ##" "Topper, I'm so confused." "I need time alone." "Admiral Benson!" "Really?" "That's my name, too." "Yankee Doodle Floppy Disk, this is Foxtrot Zulu Milkshake checking in at 700 feet." "Request permission to land." "Roger, Foxtrot Zulu Milkshake." "You are clear to land." "Wash Out, is that you?" "Yeah." "I'm in charge of radar." "I'll be your eyes on the ground." "All crews, report to the flight deck." "All crews, report to the flight deck." "Ooh... ow." "Ooh... ow." "Whoa!" "Ooh." "Oh." "Have you no decency?" "Ah, the open sea." "Oh, God, wish I could smell." "I had my nostrils fried in Panmunjom." "Admiral Benson." "Meet Mr. Wilson and Mr. Rosener from Rockman Aviation." "They'll be observing the operation." "Oh, yes, of course." "It's O.K. I'm all right." "No problem." "I slipped on the crab." "Who put that crab there?" "I didn't see any crab." "Two crabs." "They work in pairs." "I went to Annapolis, for Christ's sake." "From the Pentagon, sir." "We just decoded it." "Help me." "My eyes are ceramic." "A bazooka round at Little Bighorn." "Or was it Okinawa?" "The one without the Indians." "It's the final orders." "We strike tomorrow at 0600." "Wake me up at, oh, 5:30." "[Rooster Crows]" "Get out of your flight suit." "You're not going anywhere." "What?" "This mission's too risky to screw up." "You're not flying." " Am too." " Are not." "Am too." " Ooh." " Ooh." " Ooh." "Let's go at it." "Let's do it." "Come on." " Get him!" " Come on!" "[Mumbles]" "[Mumbles]" "[Mumbles]" "What'd you say?" "[Mumbles]" " Get him!" " Come on!" " Come on!" " Let's go!" " Oh." " Ooh." " Oh." "My face!" "My hand!" "Attention on deck!" "Be seated." "Well, gentlemen, we've waited a long time to hear this." "In 5 hours and 17 minutes, we hit the enemy toast." "That's the enemy coast, sir." "Huh?" "Coast?" "It'll take more planning, but it doesn't matter." "Our assignment is to knock out the nuclear weapons plant at Falafel Heights." "The plant goes on line in 12 hours." "If you have trouble hitting your objective, your secondary targets are here and here... an accordion factory and a mime school." "Good luck, gentlemen." "Blink, take over." "There's one more thing..." "[Clang]" "I'll get that." "It's probably for me." "Our sortie will proceed as planned." "I want Topper Harley leading our squadron into battle." "Lieutenant Commander, sir... it's nothing personal." "I know I speak for every man here." "We've lost all respect for Harley." "He's poison for the morale of the unit and a disaster to the success of this mission." "You're out of line, Gregory." "You'll obey orders and like it." "Now get to your planes." "Sir." "What is it, Mr. Harley?" "I hope I'm wrong about this." "What would that be?" "Nobody likes playing for a coach who throws the game." "What's that supposed to mean?" "My uncle used to tell me not playing to win is like sleeping with your sister." "Sure, she's a great piece of tail with a blouseful of goodies, but it's illegal." "Jesus, Topper, come on." "Then you get into that whole inbred thing." "Kids with no teeth who play the banjo, eat applesauce through a straw, pork farm animals." "Topper, that's enough." "I think you get my point, sir." "I just hope you're playing straight with us." "[Arf Arf]" "Alpha Velveeta Knuckle Underwear, you are cleared for takeoff." "When you hit that nuclear weapons plant, drop a bomb for me." "Sphincter Mucus 9er Ringworm, Roger." "[Woof Woof Woof Woof]" "Olé!" "Yiii!" "Oh." "Holy cow." "My cap blew off." "Swing around, we'll pick it up." "But, sir, we're on the mission." "Good thinking." "Yeah." "We'll pick it up on the way back." "We got to mark the spot." "Put Rabinowitz in a life raft, have him row in circles until we return." "It could be days." "Then put some food in the life raft." "Do I have to think of everything?" "We'll tape his favorite shows." "He won't miss anything." "Sir, there's no time." "O.K. O. K!" "How can I be an admiral without my cap?" "It's out there alone, and I'm here, powerless to do anything." "We're entering enemy air space." "Sir, it appears we have unidentified radar contacts." "Looks like enemy aircraft at 12:00." "Really?" "12:00?" "That gives us about 25 minutes." "Think I'll step out for a burger." "Sir, there are six of them, bearing 2-1-5, range 150 mi..." "Oh, my God." "A dozen more of them." "And a blimp!" "A big, shiny blimp!" "And it's slowly moving south!" "Block, have you got a tally on the bandits?" "Roger, that." "I got them." "Assume combat spread." "Attack formation Delta 9er." "Topper in the lead." "Just like your old man, son." "Old Buzz Harley would be proud of you, Topper." "[Kent's Voice] He's the type of guy who'll end killing us all." "He's poison for the morale." "[President Bush's Voice] Read my lips..." "No new taxes." "Topper, what are you doing?" "He's frozen." "Topper's no good to us." "Abort the mission." "Abort the mission." "Return to mother." "We can't!" "They're all over us." "[Speaking Foreign Language]" "Camel." "Baccarat." "Burnoose." "[Speaking Arabic Gibberish]" "Damn it!" "Engage!" "Engage!" "Bogey at 12:00." "[Speaking Foreign Language]" "Two on my tail!" "Kowalski, get them off!" "Locked up!" "Fox 2." "Shish kebab!" "My missile didn't track!" "My engine's cut out!" "I'm losing power!" "My cannons!" "My cannons won't fire!" "What's going on?" "I've got 2 bandits on my 6:00!" "This is insane." "Wilson and Rosener." "It was them, wasn't it?" "They said nobody would get hurt." "Block, call your men back." "Like hell I will." "The best pilot in the world's up here." "Topper." "Topper, do you read me?" "I was there 20 years ago." "I was there with your father and Mailman Farnham." "I was an eyewitness." "Listen to me, Topper." "What they said about your dad is wrong." "Eject, Mailman!" "Eject!" "I can't!" "My seat's jammed!" "Nothing works!" "Stay calm!" "My harness is malfunctioning!" "I'll get it!" "Buzz, the nose!" "The nose!" "Oh!" "Sit tight!" "Whoa." "Whoa!" "Come on!" "Hurry!" "Get the lead out!" "It's gonna be O. K!" "Wow, that was sure close!" "Buzz, get back here!" "Whoa!" "Oh!" "[High-Pitched Voice] I'm O.K." "Buzz!" "The wing!" "The wing!" "Hurry!" "Ooh." "Ooh." "What, are you on a break?" "Hurry!" "I'm here!" "Whose gum is this?" "Oh, for God's sake." "Not now!" "Got it!" "Hold on!" "We'll bring her down!" "Stop squirming!" "Hang on!" "Whoa!" "Those are my socks!" "Buzz!" "Get back here!" "Your father did everything humanly possible to save Mailman's life." "You should be proud, son." "Buzz Harley is a true American hero." "I'm hit!" "I'm hit!" "You O. K?" "Yes!" "Yes!" "Give them hell!" "Got it." "This is for you, Dad." "Behind me!" "I'm with you, buddy." "Hang in there." "My guns are jammed." "They got tone on me." "I'll do it the hard way." "Anybody home?" "They fell for that." "Topper, 3 bandits, 12:00." "They're all mine." "Here we go." "Loop-the-loop." "Couscous!" "Swami says." "[Speaking Arabic Gibberish]" "Learned this one from Paula Abdul." "[Speaking Arabic Gibberish]" "Oldest trick in the book." "Catch me if you can, guys." "This is an old Buzz Harley move." "Oh, boys." "Aah!" "I'm on their tails." "I've got them now." "Hey, buddy." "[Speaking Arabic Gibberish]" "It looks like they're bugging out." "Yike!" "[Brakes Screeching]" "Saved by the clouds." "Come on in, boys." "[Speaking Arabic Gibberish]" "A little hide-and-seek?" "[Speaking Arabic Gibberish]" "See you later, guys." "This could be the end of a beautiful friendship." "[Block] Look out!" "I got two heat-seeking missiles on my tail." "Block, Kent, Kowalski, get the hell out of here!" "Get back to the ship!" "I've got a nuclear weapons plant to wax." "That's suicide!" "Do it!" "[Screeching]" "They're close." "Missiles... still with me." "Come on." "If I can't lose them, I'll use them." "The mother of all targets." "Sayonara, Saddam." "[Block] Come in." "Are you all right?" "Topper, acknowledge!" "Topper, do you read?" "You O. K?" "[Arf Arf]" "There they are." "[Applause]" "Uh, we're, uh, landing." "Want to get out of the way?" "Run for your life!" "Where's Topper?" "Lost contact." "There he is!" "[Topper] Pyrex Pickle Blowfish, permission to land." "You guys are going to have to talk me down." "I've got some damage." "Hold it!" "O.K., Topper." "Ease her in." "Landing gear's frozen." "Looking good." "Lost my radar." "A little more power." "I'm out of fuel." "Right for line up." "Lost a wing." "Doing fine." "There goes the other one." "Topper, call the ball." "Touching down." "Whoo-hoo!" "Yeah!" "Yeah!" "Whoo!" "Well done, Jim!" "Well done!" "You're quite a guy." "Ah, so are you." "Hey!" "Wash Out!" "Aw, Topper." "[Crash]" "You." "You." "Hey." "I got one question for you." "Shoot." "What is a chafing dish for?" "It's a traditional serving piece used at cocktail parties for keeping food warm." "I thought that was a Crock-Pot." "No, no, no." "That's for cooking all day." "A chafing dish..." "All right!" "Whoo!" "Topper!" "Now that you've killed the bad guy and made the world safe for democracy, how are you going to cash in on your fame?" "I'm going to Disneyland." " Yeah!" " Yeah!" "You're very fortunate, Commander Block." "This man has your blood type." "Don't worry, sir." "After this transfusion, you're going to be just fine." "I've only seen heroism like that one other time." "Maybe you know the pilot..." "Leland "Buzz" Harley." "I've been carrying this secret around for 20 years." "I never spoke up." "I wanted him to fail." "I wanted to be number one." "And I was in love with your mother." "It's not important now, sir." "Please, save your strength for your court-martial." "Topper, you had me pegged right." "I was throwing the big game." "Ha ha ha ow!" "I really thought we needed that other airplane." "Now I realize that American planes will always be superior as long as there are wonderful men like you in the cockpit and German parts." "I know you think it was me." "But Wilson and Rosener sabotaged the jets." "They played me like a two-bit piccolo." "Ha ha ha ow!" "Ooh!" "Ooh!" "Ha ha ha!" "Whoa!" "I can see my house from here!" "[Splash]" "Oh, no, you don't." "You dare call yourself an American?" "That gets my panties in a bunch." "Scum like you taint our military." "You don't know what you're talking about." "The hell I don't." "You risked the lives of some damn fine pilots." "Well, that's my job." "Aah!" "Aah!" "Is it safe?" "[Drill Starts]" "Aah!" "[Band Plays "The Stars And Stripes Forever"]" "I think I'm wearing your pants." "Whoa!" "Ramada!" "Kent." "You're O.K." "Ramada, you must put me out of your mind." "There's a certain flyboy aboard that ship that needs you far more than I." "You must forget me." "No problem." "I will." "Please, not a tear." "Don't look back." "That's my brave girl." "Hey, I'm over here." "Hey, I'm home!" "Don't worry, little one." "As long as I have me, I'll survive." "Aah!" "[Alarm Chirps]" "[Ding Dong]" "[Ding Dong]" "[Ding Dong]" "Topper." "["The Man I Love" Plays]" "[Whistles]" "Go, Beaver, go!" "[Neigh]" "Topper!" "Wait!" "Whoa!" "Topper!" "Owatonna." " [I Got Your Batteries]" " La Toya, Tito, ." "Jermaine." " [It's About Fucking Time]" " Mannetowish, osaki." " [So, Who Won?" "]" " Barammi knish?" " [We Did]" " Meena trista." " [I Fell In Love With A Woman, But She Threw Me A Curve]" " Mishtakka Wauwatosa Hershiser." "Ramada." "Once, perhaps." "Now I am called Wawatukeena." "What does it mean?" "Little sizzling belly." "[Arf Arf]" "#Every night I hope and pray #" "#A dream lover will come my way #" "#A girl to hold in my arms #" "# To know the magic of her charms #" "#Because I want #" "# Yeah, yeah, yeah #" "#A girl #" "# Yeah, yeah, yeah #" "# To call #" "# Yeah, yeah, yeah #" "#My own #" "#I want a dream lover #" "#So I don't have to dream alone #" "#Dream lover, where are you #" "# With a love, oh, so true?" "#" "#And a hand that I can hold #" "#Feel you near as I grow old #" "#Because I want #" "# Yeah, yeah, yeah #" "#A girl #" "# Yeah, yeah, yeah #" "# To call #" "# Yeah, yeah, yeah #" "#My own #" "#I want a dream lover #" "#So I don't have to dream alone #" "#Someday, I don't know how #" "#I know she'll hear my plea #" "#Someway, I don't know how #" "#She'll bring her love to me #" "#Dream lover, until then #" "#I'll go to sleep #" "#I'll dream again #" "# That's the only thing to do #" "# Till all my lover's dreams come true #" "#Because I want #" "# Yeah, yeah, yeah #" "#A girl #" "# Yeah, yeah, yeah #" "# To call #" "# Yeah, yeah, yeah #" "#My own #" "#I want a dream lover #" "#So I don't have to dream alone #" "#Dream lover, until then #" "#I'll go to sleep #" "#I'll dream again #" "# That's the only thing to do #" "# Till all my lover's dreams come true #" "#Because I want #" "# Yeah, yeah, yeah #" "#A girl #" "# Yeah, yeah, yeah #" "# To call #" "# Yeah, yeah, yeah #" "#My own #" "#I want a dream lover #" "#So I don't have to dream alone #" "#Please don't make me dream alone #" "#Don't make me #" "#Don't make me #" "#Dream ##"