"I want to go camping one day." "I've never done it before." "I want to do that." "Whoo hoo!" "Can you imagine playing paintball up here?" "It'd be hard." "If you tripped and fell down this hill," "You're donezo." "Oh, god... oh, god." "What the hell?" "Didtheytake with the group, guys?" "Comeon,A.J., you can do it." "Allright, A.J.'S coming." "Yes, it's gonna take me a minute." "This is really shitty for my knees." "Backstreetboys!" "Backstreetboys!" "Backstreet boys!" "Backstreetboys!" "Backstreet boys!" "From1999to about2002, we were unstoppable." "Imean,we 'rethebiggest band in the world." "Wedreamed,butnobody thought it was gonna be" "Asbigas it was." "Wesoldover130 million albums worldwide." "Thenkindaoutofnowhere, it just stopped." "Onceradioandmtv" "Andtheythinkthat you're over," "Imean,they'regonnajust  scratch you." "Youcangetsomuch  criticism being in a boy band." "The beginning was manufactured." "There'snodoubtaboutit." "Butit'slikepinocchio." "He was manufactured." "Butheturnedinto a real boy." "Theyarethebest-Selling boy band in history," "Celebrating20years of music" " The backstreet boys." "Keviniscomingback!" "Whatdoyoudowhen  you're a full-Grown man" "Ina boyband?" "Idon'tknow, let's see." "Come on!" "Thankyou." "Don'tgiveup !" "Don'tgiveup !" "That's it." "Keep it going." "Hey, hey, hey, hey!" "Yeah!" "Pass it, brian." "We need you, come on." "2006, i quit the group." "Iwantedto just be a normal guy for a while." "Ididn'tfeelinspired as much as i used to." "I didn't love it." "I didn't have the passion that i used to have," "And therefore i left." "Oh!" "Ihadthisideatogo  to london just to get away," "Justthefiveofus, bring everybody together," "'Causewehadn'tseen each other in forever." "And,youknow, to record an album." "No families, no girlfriends, no" " Just us." "Never, ever played, and not too bad," "Not too shabby." "Howie, twinkle toes." "Notbad." "I like golf way better." "Yee!" " See, i remember that." " Hey, don't get used to me bringing you tea." "Oh, you've seen "drive," right, the movie "drive?"" "Uh-Huh." " Yeah, buddy." "I'm so happy right now." "Oh,mygod, you're so" " Nicole got it, made for me." " That is hilarious." "How dope is this shit?" "Come on, man, you know it's dope." "Good,giveme aline." "Give me a line." "He doesn't say anything, like, the entire movie." "Well, give me the look." "You got to put the jacket on." "Okay, wait, wait, wait." " Man, don't" " I can't look at you." "You're not" " You're not gonna be very good at acting" "At this point, okay, cool." "I feel that." "That was the look?" "You don't have no words?" "He really didn't say shit the whole movie." "So we finally got to the top of the hill." "Tenyearsago, everything was so fast-Paced." "Youdidn'thavetimetorest." "Youdidn'thavetime to think." "Youdidn'thavetime to eat." "Crazy kid." "Everybody was sick of each other," "And everybody wanted to do their own thing." "We'realloldernow ." "So much has happened." "We'veseenthebest and the worst of each other" "For20years." "My whole mantra coming into this" "Is i just want to be proud of the music that we're making," "And the shows that we're putting on and have a blast." "Enjoy it." "One,two,three" "Wedon'thavearecord deal." "It's awesome." "It'slike starting all over again," "Having the freedom to create something from scratch." "Thisissomething that we felt like" "Wewantedto do ourselves." "It'sourmoney." "Sothisnewchapterthat  we're embarking on" "Is, to me, exciting," "At the same time, crazy and scary." "It'sa bigyearfor us," "Kevin'sback." "Wehavean album that we got to release, 20thanniversary, brand-New tour." "It'shuge." "Weusedto showup and they'd say," ""Goinandsingthis ,"" "Andyou'dgo in  and sing it." "Theproducerwould make it sound magical," "And the record executives picked the singles" "And there was no decision making." "Whenwewerekids, it was different." "We were told were to go." "We were told what to do." "We were told what to say." "And now it's like, you know what?" "I do have a voice." "I want to think for myself." "I want to make music for me." "Youknow,iwanttomakemusic for our fans." "Iwantto make everybody happy." "I'vebeenin thisband for more than half of my life." "I am the first, the original old school backstreet boy." "Imetloupearlman in 1992." "Hewasprobablyone of the wealthiest men" "Inorlandoat thetime, an entrepreneur." "You know he was just an all around wealthy," "Wealthy man." "Youknow,louhad seen the success of boyz ii men," "Jodeci, new kids on the block," "And i think once that got in the back of his head," "He was like, "well, i can do this."" "Icanputtogetheragroup" "Fiveprettyfaces that can sing and dance." "And that's exactly what he did." "Louwasgivingus a $75 week check," "And i still have it in my mom's house framed." "It was the first check i ever got." "Itwaslikeaperdiem," "And 75 bucks for a 14-Year-Old's a lot of money." "I'dbeenworking on a solo career" "Sincei was6yearsold." "Itwasdefinitelybetterthan  working at universal studios" "Or disney's back lot, you know, or mcdonalds, that's for sure." "Ireallyhadthischoice between being a mouseketeer," "$50,000 contract, or doing this thing with lou pearlman" "And the backstreet boys." "Mymothergavemethechoice." "I don't know why she left that decision" "Up to an 11-Year-Old child, but it just kind of happened." "Ididn'twanttogrow up and be a backstreet boy." "Itoldmy momwhen i was a little boy" "Thati wasgonnagrowup" "And play for the university of kentucky basketball team." "Iwasworkinginorlando, florida, walt disney world." "Iwasaninjaturtle, aladdin, played goofy," "Butdreamedof being a recording artist." "So this was a huge opportunity for me... a shot, a chance." "Louownedsomewarehouse spaces out here" " In this industrial park" " He was leasing them." "He was leasing them, that's right." "Which we're gonna try to see if we can manage to find." "Um, it's been many years ago." " We're gonna try to find them." " Almost 20 years ago." "This one." "I think it was on michigan, guys." " No, i think it's" " I think it's this one." "All i know is i got lost coming here the first time." "I almost didn't get in the group because of that." "So maybe don't ask me." "Hi, guys." "I remember this area, though." "I remember that church." "It is down on this road, i'm telling you." "Then we trust his memory and none of the old guys." "Yeah, this is it." " Holy crap." " This is it." "It is." "We're here now." "26/42" "We were busting our fucking ass in this warehouse here," "Day in and day out all day long." "Itwaslike a wood stage that we put up." "Wehadabunchofmirrors." "It was hot as hell." "Itwasaconstant work in progress." "Wehadto be workedon." "Oh, oh, yeah!" "Weputin somecrazy hours in the early days." "Thebackstreetharmony, the blend," "Itwasalways a work in progress." "You know, it was something that" "We had to, kind of, find." "Irememberhowie in the very beginning." "Hewasprettymuch the lead singer." "Andthenbriancamein." "Hehadagreatvoice." "Withouthim,youknow, the blend wouldn't be the same." "Thevoicesarefive." "They create a chemistry, a sound" "That is unlike any other." "You just knew it, like this makes sense." "This works." "Our voices blend perfectly." "Ithink i'm getting stronger." "You know, i think i'm getting better." "You know, i think you've helped me a lot" "Which has been good." "You get this jaw working a little bit." "And you let your jaw hang down and back." "The blessing that we're gearing up for a tour," "And, you know, the backstreet boys' world" "Is, you know, about to explode again." "You know, but yet it's still pressure." " You know because it's this anticipation of..." " Right." "You know, brian's got to be brian." "You know, i wish there was a magic wand" "That just could" "Not with these mind/body" "Not with these mind/body connections" "Which is right where, you know, right where the problem lives" "Is right in between the nervous system" "And the mind." "Justbreathe." "La la la... uh-Huh." "Let it go." "You know my voice is, you know, it's my life." "You know, we take it for granted," " Because it's just something that's given." " Right." "And..." "and for me it's, um," "It's not a given right now." "It comes and goes." "It's hard for me to talk about to be honest with you." "Um... i try to... i try really hard to be optimistic about it," "Um, but i'm faced with it every day." "Um, the doctor mentioned" "Vocal tension dysphonia," "Which is the tightening of the muscles" "Around the vocal chords" "Which 'causes the vocal chords not to work correctly." "It's frustrating." "It's very frustrating." "Because i want to you know, i just want to be me." "I want it to be easy." "And i want to have the carefree attitude," "You know, that i had years ago." "Hereweare with the backstreet boys." " How old are you anyway?" " I'm 16." " And how old are you?" " 19." " And?" " 20." " 20." " And?" " 14." " Ooh!" "Lou pulled every resource he could with this" "And pulled as many strings as he could" "To get us to be as big as we could be." "Hehadallthesethings" "Thata richbillionaire entrepreneur should have." "We'rea bunchof youngguys that's like," "Going into a frickin', like disney world." "I mean, every time we all would hang at lou's house," "It was a different adventure." "Hehadthisunbelievable, like, arcade/movie room." "That had a cool pool table," "One of those old-Fashioned coke machines." "It was the best damn tasting coke you've ever had life" "In your life." "It was so good, in these glass bottles," "But it was like, an old-Fashioned one." "And then he had this-- The original darth vader mask." "Attheendofthenight , we'd pull out one" "Of lou's porns and we all watched those every so often." "The first time i'd seen two girls even kissing each other" "Was on one of lou's videotapes." "And i was like, "what is this?"" "I'm like, "my eyes are gonna burn."" "I can't even tell my mom about this." "Hi,lou." " Wow!" "I'm on candid camera." "Hello." "Hi." "Louwasbigpapa." "He was like another father to a lot of us," "Like kevin, especially." "You know, because kevin was the only one, at that time," "That didn't have a father." "He allowed me to quit my two jobs and pursue my dream," "And i'm very appreciative of that." "Weallclaimtoknow  everything about each other," "Butthere'sstill so much left unsaid," "Somuchleftunlearned" "Sowhilewe wereinlondon making the record," "Wetalkedaboutdoingthese little hometown trips" "To really kind of go back to our grass roots" "To kind of see where everybody really came from." "See these places, experience it together," "And get that bond tight again." "Wegonnapartytonight!" "Come on, y'all should stay!" "That'swhattheysay ." "Andthey'rehaulingbutt in that thing." "I'll do it." "All right, this is where i grew up." "Myfather was the manager of this camp," "Andwelivedon the property year-Round." "I would look out at this grass right here" "And up at those trees and envision a crowd," "Like an arena, and like i was a rock star," "And i'd have a broom in my hand" "And play air guitar and just imagine like the trees" "And the grass is like" "Yea-Ea-Ea-Ea-H, ooh!" "I lived here until" "I left for florida in 1990." "We lived in this house right over here." "This is like where my dad, you know," "Kind of spent his final days." "When i was living in florida," "My father had had a-- Was diagnosed with cancer," "But they didn't tell me and they said" "He just had a little surgery," "Somethingwasup  with his stomach." "Theydidn'twanttoworryme." "A couple of months after that my mom called me" "And said that, "you know that thing that we told you" "Your dad had a little problem with his stomach?" "Well, we didn't want to worry you," "We didn't, you know, want you to worry," "But it was cancer, and it's come back" "And it's not doing very--"" "I know what you went through, bro." "So i came back home" "And my father had been in that bed for," "I don't know how many weeks, and i pulled up... pulled up in my car" "And he hadn't been out of bed in weeks," "And he didn't want me to know how bad he was doing" "So he met me at the front door." "Yeah, so anyway, that's just my dad," "You know, he didn't want anybody to worry about him." "Hewantedme to go back to florida" "And do what i was doing." "He didn't want me to stay up here to watch him die." "Uh... so anyway, i spent some time with him" "Went back home, got my stuff, moved back up here" "And shortly after he passed away," "But my father's all over this place." "Uh, great memories living here." "Come on down this way." "I used to come in here and sing." "We didn't have a ton of drama in our household." "Mom and dad, they supported us in everything that we did." "So not a whole lot of turmoil in the home," "Just a lot of love." "This is pretty isolated, right?" "So it was me and my two brothers." "In the winter, it can get a little dark and gray up here" "And get a little depressed, but music, you know," "I would hole myself up in the house," "And it's so cold you can't go out" "And play music and that was my window to the world," "And i couldn't wait to leave this place." "I was like, god, i want to get out of here" "And travel and see what's out there" "And experience other places and now that i've done that," "And i come back here, and i see how beautiful it is" "And i realize what a special place" "And what a special, unique situation it was for me" "To grow up in a place like this." "Alotof it really came into place" "Whenloubrought in johnny wright." "Andjohnnywright was a road manager" "Forthenewkidsontheblock." "Sohere'ssomebody that has experience." "Andsaid, "i got this thing" "Thati wantyouguys to go out on" "Esmhighschooltours."" "High schools and middle schools all across america." "Wehoppedon awinnebago" "With nobody knowing who the eff we were." "I don't know if it makes sense" "But we're gonna go out there and give it a big shot." "Wewent all over the country" "Arizona,pennsylvania, texas, nebraska." "I'll never forget we did a show in a school" "That was 75% black, 20% hispanic, 5% white." "Itwaslikeareal  inner city high school." "Here we come, a bunch of corn fed, like," "Middleamerica, straight off the farm boys." "And our damn p.A. Went out." "Music is like... we had no music and it got out of hand." "I'llneverforget there was a group of guys" "Inthefarback." "Theystartedbooingus." ""Get off the stage, white boys."" "You know, throwing stuff at us." "Boo!" "Uh,newkids,wannabes, new kid wannabes." "Andwe'reup there on stage, like," "Now what the fuck do we do?" "And brian was like, "all right, everyone shut up!" "Shut up, shut up!" "And let us just do what we came to do," "That's sing for you."" "I turned around, look at the guys," "And they were giving me that look like deer in headlights." "Like, holy" " Boop!" "We did every a cappela rendition of every song that we knew." "Those guys shut up." "The girls were kind of going crazy," "Which was kind of cool, i thought." "I was like, "wow, this is kind of interesting."" "And even a bunch of guys were like" ""Yo, man that was a great job, man." "Lou, much respect."" "And i was like, "wow!"" "You know, we did our job." "We are a vocal harmony group." "We can sing without music at the drop of a hat." "We're the harlem globetrotters." "Hey, where's" " Do we have any publicity pictures?" " Yeah." " Go get some." "I want you to go sing something." "Whatare you gonna sing?" "Don't ask me." "Five, six, twelve, eleven," "What you looking at?" "Backstreet boys" "I ate a muffin and i got heartburn." "It was an unspoken bond that was created" "Because of lou." "Youknow,nickand brian," "Backintheday were inseparable." "Imean,theywerelike  the bopsy twins" "Whenitcameto, like, harmony and just being clowns" "Andpranksters." "Ifeltlikenick was the little brother" "That,youknow, i never had." "We'dalwaysbe on  the basketball floor." "We'dalwayslose 'cause we were short," "Butyou'dalwaysfind me and nick" "On the basketball court, that's just where we were." "21to13 , that's a big gap there." "You know, i was always the little brother" "In my family, and now i had four." "Itwaslikeacontinuous summer camp." "It was just fun." "It really was fun." "Make some noise for the backstreet bo-O-O-Ys!" "We thought we were superstars." "You know, there were people at our shows?" "Well,theyweren'teven paid shows," "Theywerejustfreeshows." "But, again, we thought-- We thought we were stars." "Let's go." "Yo, let's go." "Let's go." "They're waiting." "We'll catch up." "Let's go." "Welcome to tate's creek!" " Keep it down, howie." " Okay, sorry." "Welcome to kentucky." "When i was doing wrestling, we'd have practice right here." "My teammate he was on my back," "We had to run these hills here, and it sucked, man." "You'dgetsick and you'd vomit." "You'dbelike... how do you run down the hill with somebody on your back" "As steep as it is without falling forward?" "You have to sit-- You have to sit" "I could see going this way, but that way?" " Let's try." "Oh, dear, god." "Not with you." "He already blew it out once." "I'd like to see that right now." "A.J., dude, you're gonna blow your knees out." "Yee-Ha!" "Now wait... and now i'm gonna turn around go back up." " My underwear." " Come on!" " And the best part" "Whatdoyouremember about performing here, though?" "'Causeit" "Remember our suits?" "Iremember you had a burgundy suit," "Greensuit,blacksuit," "Goldsuit,purplesuit." "Andi hadahorrible caesar haircut." "Yep,youdid." " Brian: and curls." " You did." " It was bad, dude." "We had a lot of good memories here." "It was fun." "Isay, that's really nice." "Oh,okay." "Goodshirt." "How much are they?" " $7 $7." "All right." "How you doing, sir?" " I'm good." " It's good to see you." " You doin' all right?" " I'm good, i'm good." "Come... all this was outside." "Oh, okay." "It was seventh grade-- This was the first day," "I remember, that you and me got a chance to meet." "It was day one." "He hits a note on the piano." "He just tells everybody to start singing so we do that," "And then he said, "okay, i want y'all to stop singing." "And he just kept whittling through everybody" "Until he got to myself and three or four other young ladies," "'Cause i was sitting in the soprano or alto" " Alto section." " Alto section." "So i was" "Me, me, me, me." "And he says, "okay, ladies, i want you all to be quiet."" "And then he said, "you, sir, you know, go!"" "And i sang it, and i was a nervous wreck," "And he looks up at me and he said," ""You can make a lot of money with that gift that you have."" "Like embrace it, you know what i mean?" "'Cause you don't-- As kids you don't know" "You don't know the talents that you have" "Or how you can touch people's lives" "If you don't have instrumental people" "That help shape your vision of what you want for your life," "And you did that and in that one statement," "And it's been with me for over 20 years now," "To be where i'm at, and i appreciate you." "Is that right?" "It was just a clear, very pure heavenly sound" "That you don't hear that often coming out of a youngster," "But i knew his voice was gonna change," "And i had to be extremely careful about the direction" "That i was gonna take him in, so it wouldn't ruin him" "'Cause you can actually destroy that," "You know, that sound." "Sometimes it comes out... and sometimes it doesn't." "Ouch!" "You drawers just went down." "I can't throw that that flat ball far!" "Why not?" "Yeah, you can." " Oh, dear god." " Oh, that's for" "Yougottago ,dude!" "Here you go, ready?" "Repeat." "Well, that was fun." "Ow." "Itisveryimportant you guys work the stage," "Connectingwith the audience," "Because i think it's important" "For your 20th anniversary tour right?" "I'mjustsaying, commend yourselves" "'Cause we're working hard." "I mean, we fucking did that routine almost 15 times." "You know what i mean?" "We're working it." "We'll keep doing it." "Yougotto remember when you get out... nick farted, ladies and gentlemen." "It was him." "It was him." "He did it!" "Thanks, bro." "God almighty." "Bring the shotgun!" " You see you don't" " You're on the other note." "This is ricky." "Listen to this." "Listen to this, hold up a second, do it again." "Nick, don't, don't, you're not helping." "You're making it worse." "Themusicwe weremaking in orlando was sub-Par." "Itwasnotgood." "So1995we finallygot  a record deal" "Withjiverecords." "The very first producers they set us up to work with" "Weredennizpop and max martin." "They had a lot of success in europe." "Theyproducedandwrote most of the ace of base album," "And i had that pumping in my car every day." "Itwasourfirsttime  out of the country ever." "I was almost 18." "So my mom wasn't with me." "Imean,it wasjust the coolest thing." "You walk into the studio and you look at the wall" "And you see platinum records with ace of base," "And robin, abba and all this stuff," "And you're like, "oh, shit." "This is like the real thing."" "Loualwaystalkedaboutit." "Johnny talked about it." "Never did i think this was gonna happen," "And then it fucking happened." "Here we are." "We'reinstockholm,sweden." "We'reactually,like-- We're making a record." "Fromthestudio experiences in florida," "It was completely different." "Because max and denniz had this sound" "Where it was like, a eh eh sound." "Just this like eh... eh eh." "His drums and his baseline, i mean," "That shit was funky." "Almost old school like parliament funk type sound." "I dug it." "I was excited." "It had edge." "It had balls, you know." "I was like, "just put me on a song." "I just want to sing on something and i'll dance to it."" "That was my take on things." "He had a sound that was definitely," "Um, i can be honest, not exactly the howie d sound anymore." "Nothing like anything we had ever done before." "Released "we got it goin' on"" "Intheu.S." "I think it peaked at like, i don't know, 60-Something," "But it didn't really make a dent." "Ahhh!" "All right, give it up for the backstreet boys." "Five young fly f-To-The-L-To-The-Y guys." "They'refromflorida." "Check 'em out." "Youguys are definitely destined" "Forsomebig-Timestardom." "Thanksa lot." "At that time, radio was playing nirvana" "And snoop dogg, and dre." "So there was no room for boys like us." "Johnnywrightsaid," ""Ithinkyouguys should go to europe." "There's this boy band kind of movement" "That's going over there."" "We show up in usa hockey jerseys like," ""We're from america." "We can save you."" "And it's like this huge arena." "That's... packed." "Ourtakewasthesebands are all lip synching." "Everyone is lip synching." "Let's go on stage, sing for real," "Let's show them something they've never seen before." "We hit that stage and they went nuts." "We were like, "oh, yeah, here we go, boys."" "Put your hands up and sing!" "Itwasjustafull-On head spin." "It just became like this whirlwind." "We would get on a plane go to a country," "Do a performance, that same day hop on a plane," "Gobackto anothercountry do a performance there," "Getmaybelikefourhours of sleep," "Wakeupthenextmorning, do a morning show." "Thatwastheschedule for years." "We'renowin hamburg." "Thisismunichbynight." "Berlinbynight." "The first three years we were there so much" "That after a while, we ended up having german girlfriends." "Thatmeans "it's so good to see you."" "Howie b." "That's me, that's me." "If we wanted to communicate" "The international language of love," "We had to learn some words really fast." "That's "will you give me a blow-Job?"" "Wecouldnotgoanywhere," "Couldnotgo out by yourself." "Policeescortseverywhere," "Evenifyoujust want to go out to dinner." "Yes, can we have a table for 400, please?" "I mean, it was-- It was chaos." "Ohno,she'sontop of the roof." "No,no!" "Mycar!" "Oh,mygod!" "Uh, i guess we're taking her with us to munich." "Uh, five hour drive." "Don'tdothat,man ." "Hey, this is gonna happen in the states, too." "In europe, we sold 14 million albums off of our first cd," "And it never came out in america." "You know, you're telling your friends and family" ""Yeah, we're huge in europe."" "Really?" "Imean,i'vebeeninthis business for over 30 years." "Igrewup doingmodeling and acting and stuff." "Ijustwantedtoperform on stage for people," "Anywayicould." "This has been a lifelong dream, and here i am" "Stillmakingmusic with the backstreet boys." "You know, everything starts somewhere." "I would say everything for me started right here." " Hey!" " Oh, how are ya?" "I'm good." "How are you?" "I'm good." "My very first acting job when i was still going here" "Was at little palm." "I did snow white, but they picked me to be dopey," "Because i had two speech impediments" "Anddopey's" "Anddopey was an actual mute." "So i just had to learn like little like rain and cold," "But i couldn't talk," "'Cause i had a stutter and i had a stupid lisp," "But, you know, i finally got rid of it." "I still have the stutter every so often." " When you get nervous?" " Nervous or if i'm telling a lie, usually." "Oh, yeah." "Both of you." " Mwah." " I love you." "These are my two other mothers, literally, literally," "Growing up, i mean, yeah." "You still remember your monologues?" " I still remember-- Do one for us, A.J." "With the accent?" "Okay." ""Many moons ago in a far off place," "Lived a handsome prince with a gloomy face," "We did not have a bride." "Oh, he sighed, alas," "And he pined, alas," "But alas, the prince couldn't find a lass" "Who would suit his mother's pride." "For a princess is a delicate thing," "Delicate and dainty as a dragon fly's wing." "You can recognize a lady by her elegant air" "But a genuine princess is exceedingly rare."" "Bravo, bravo!" "Bravo!" "I look very much forward to working with you" "In the near future." "Thank you." "I swear, he is" " You've used that to hit on girls." "Yes!" "I was just gonna say you don't know how many girls... your whole life!" "How many girls i've used that with" "Iwouldliterallyhangout with a bunch of girls" "Andi 'dbelike," ""Hey,doyouguys want to see something?"" "And i would stand up on the bed or on a chair," "No wonder you remember it so good." "You're busted." "I'm like, no, i was gonna call myself out." "The dainty thing." "I totally remembered that now." "It's never gonna go anywhere." "He still says it to this day." "How do you think i got my wife?" "By' 97, "we got it going on,"" ""Quitplayinggames"" "Allbecamehugelysuccessful in canada." "And then all of a sudden," "It just kind of rained backstreet boys on the u.S." "Fans call in, "play backstreet boys," "Play backstreet boys."" "It went from like zero to 60," "I wouldn't say overnight, but damn near close." "Wewerecomingout  of the gulf war," "America kind of needed something" "That was a little bit more uplifting." "I think people just wanted to feel good again." "America, at that time, was open to the idea" "Of fresh-Faced young boys" "Whocoulddanceand sing." "Theywereokay with turning the radio on" "Andjustlisteningtoit without a care." "Thatvideo,we looked like a bunch of beefcakes." "Wewerewetand had our shirts open and everything." "I'mlike,"i don'tknow-- Not i don't know." "I know that's not the first impression i want to make" "In the u.S." "Butitworkedout ." "Someofus bought their first houses," "Someofus changedcars from honda civics to mercedes." "You became a rock star." "You were living that rock star lifestyle, you know." "I'm still a teenager 18, 19, like living the dream, dude." "I'm having a fucking blast!" "Don'tblockthedoor, please." "I was gonna make me a cup of coffee." "Whatifyou" "Whatifyou did that as a tag," "Likeafterthechorus?" "That's cool." "Put that down 'cause that's" "That's a better second line, i think." "It needs to be, uh, heart wrenching," "Or it needs to be dark." "Or it needs to be-- I don't know." "But then that contradicts if i'm in the spotlight" "And then you're waiting in darkness, no?" "No, because the darkness isn't necessarily the light." "The darkness is the emotion." "Waiting in darkness, i stood with sadness." "That'show" "That's how i take it." "Youknowwhat?" "I like the" "Like sing it more like off the fuckin' beat." " You know what i mean?" " That's a good idea." " Something like that, yeah." " Uh." "Buti mean,we 'renaive to think we could come here" "Inthreeweeks and cut an album." "Yeah,i know." "I felt like we we were going in circles." "We were optimistic" " I don't think we were naive." "I never in a million years thought that was" " You're optimistic." " Don't get me wrong," "Guys, we're one week in and how many songs do we have?" "Five almost." " That's what i'm saying." " It's not bad." " Let's" " No, i know" "It's a shot." "Let's just keep" "I think we're getting the cart before the horse here." "All right, let's join hands." "We're gonna have a blessing." "Come on." "That's good." "Really, for real." "Come on." "Good to bless the food." "Oh, dear lord, thank you for this day." "Thank you for the blessings that you blessed us with." "Thank you for this circle." "We ask that you bless this food" "To the nourishment of our bodies" "And bless this record, hallelujah." "In christ's name we pray." "Amen." " Amen." " Amen." "Let's toast." "Here's to another 20." "Yep." "And this is ours." " Howard." "Whenthegroup first started," "Iwasdoingalotmore of the leads." "And little by little, when we got with max martin," "Our sound changed, so throughout the years" "I really had a hard time, i struggled with that." "I resented the situation." "Ialwaysfeellike why am i always having" "Tobepushed in the background?" "Iwantedto havemyvoice heard just like everybody else." "Perfect." "I got a little two in my heart" "On that one part there." "With the new record and the new dynamic" "I told them, i said, you know what?" "In order for me to feel comfortable" "Being a part of this," "I really need to be able to not be in the back." "I need to be up in the front with you guys." "Youjustgottaittwice and you're done." "You'rebutter." "That'showyoudo." "That's howie d." "At least my toes look somewhat presentable today." "Normally, they're too long." "I could fucking climb a tree." "It's very embarrassing." "Crap!" "Sorry." "A.J.?" "!" "I'm howie." "I'm singing all the leads on everything for this record." "It's gonna be a great record, don't worry." "It's the best ever." "Hello there, my friend." "How are you doing?" "Good, i'm good." "Doyouremember who this is?" "Thisislittlehowie." "Yeah,howard from down the street." "I used to have his mom going, "howie, howie."" "Yeah, come in, come in." "Take care of yourself." "Welcome back." "When i was born, we had no central heating here." "I sweated my butt off." "So the first thing i did when we made a little money," "I put central heat and air in this house." "I was tired of sweating." "Dude, look at this." " Did you write that?" " I did." "Me and my dad." " Hoken howard" " Hoke d." "Howard." "Hoke d" " I think i got a little crazy." "I decided i wanted to do my autograph on everything." "Well, that's crazy, i lived my whole life in this house." "It's been a part of my life for 39 years." "And to actually stay here with you." "I know you have." "You have." "Down the street, actually, um, was one of my first kisses" "Was his cousin, chelsea." " My niece, my niece." " Your niece." " Thank you, sir." " Thank you, kevin." "As a little kid back here," "I had a bunch of rabbits." "Itstartedoff with like one" "Andthenithink we had another one," "And then like the next year we had like 45 of them" "'Cause you know they get busy." "My dad called me out here and said," "Got to finish off the rest of the rabbits." "So i didn't know what he was talking about." "Oh,no." "So i got my first true experience" "Of having to kill a rabbit." "Oh." "I went after the one that was the meanest one," "The one that i hated the most." "He had like a snaggle tooth" "And i hated that black rabbit so much," "I'm like, if i've got to kill one of these things," "You're the one that's going, so i'm like trying to hit him" "And he's like jumping all around." "I'm like" " I'm trying to hop all around," "And this poor little rabbit's" " I couldn't do it." "My dad's like, get in the house, son." "And he'd knock 'em out and just kill it." "Dude." " It was" " It was" " Soak 'em in salt water?" " It was back-Woods style, dude." " Your mom fry 'em up?" "Yeah, and i couldn't eat it." "I couldn't eat it 'cause it was just like" "It was too hard going down." "I was 12 years old, and we had to, you know," "I'm sure being in the country" "You probably know how you take care of your own animals" "And stuff like that and i'd never experienced that," "But my dad was from georgia," "And him growing up, that's what you did." "You know, the animals" "What are you saying?" "I live in georgia." "I ain't skinned a rabbit... yet." "That'scrazy, though, man." "Inthebeginning," "Iwashanging out a lot with howie." "I would come over and stay at his house here." " Which is kind of ironic-- - 'Cause you liked my niece." "That's because i liked your niece," "No, but brian and i, we used to go play basketball a lot here." "Um, that's back when he had this truck" "That we called the bleeding banana." "Meandhimdrovedown  from kentucky in that thing." "Noshocks, my knees were in the dashboard." "It was like... dude, i had the speakers in the back." "He was blowing it, man." "I was a thug... there was one time that we left out of lou's house," "And it was like a friday night," "We had all been playing and whatever." "I had my girlfriend, and brian had his girlfriend," "And we hauled butt out of lou's house." "The next you know, we saw these lights" "Come up behind us and we're like," ""Oh, man," and we were going fast." "It was fast, like kind of like" "You would have gone to jail for fast-Wise." "All we did, we said we were at lou pearlman's house," "And we got off." "I knew at that point, that's when i realized" "How powerful lou was." "In the area, yeah." "He doesn't have those connections anymore now." "Uh, no." "That's for sure." "Around1995, i came off the road" "And lou said, "come here i want to show you something."" "He showed me a vhs tape of this group." "Theydidn'thave a name at the time," "Andi didn'tknow but it was a showcase" "Thatlouhadfinanced," "Andlouhadbeen working with them." "Itwasalmostlikeabetrayal." "Youknow, when we started out" "We'relike, "yeah, we're a team," "We'regonnatakeover the world." "Andthere's,youknow, there's nobody like us."" "Then you find out," "Well, actually, there is somebody like you." "We'remoldingthem in your image," "That'swhattheytoldus." "Damn, dude, i guess one wasn't enough" "So now you got to have 15 boy groups." "Nextthingyouknow, it's like, if we got tired and didn't want to tour," "Didn'twantto do acertain tv show or whatever," "Boom,n-Syncwasrightthere picking up the pieces." "Then,nextthingyou know, jive records signed n-Sync." "Loubasicallycreated our competition." "Thankyouso much" "For allowing me and the fellas to remain at number one." "By 1998, we'd sold millions of albums." "We'd been touring nonstop." "We'd been playing in stadiums," "Yet, our bank accounts didn't... make sense." "Lou'sexcuseswere, "i spent a million dollars" "To break you guys." "I have to recoup that."" "Okay." ""I am your manager." "I get a management commission."" "Okay." ""I'm a one-Sixth member of the group," "Soi getone-Sixth of whatever you make."" "It'sillegal." "You can't do it as a manager." "There was a definite fog screen that," "Once it lifted," "I think that's when everybody raised the eyebrow, like," ""What the hell's been going on?"" "There'sa lotof memories in this one particular area." "Lou'shouseis up here." "WehadA.J.'Sbirthday party there." "My birthday party, too," "My 21st there." " To the right-- We're going to the right." "I went to him after rehearsals one night," "And i" " I mean, i begged him," "I basically begged him to make it right." "Wewerebeingtaken advantage of," "And, you know, nobody was looking out for us." "Nothingwasthesame after that meeting." "Foranyof us ." "Wefiledthelawsuit and that was the beginning" "Oftheendofourrelationship with lou." "In2007, lou was arrested" "Forrunningabig  investment scheme," "Oneofthebiggestponzi schemes in american history." "Andtofindout he'sbeen  a con man this whole time," "Makes you think, was anything ever true?" "Anything you ever said to us or did for us" "Was ever" " Was it all really true" "Or was it half and half or was it all bullshit?" "This is where lou lived when he went to prison." "When the bank possessed the property" "They sold everything in here probably to pay back" "I mean, $300 million i think he owed," "He stole or was missing." "So i'm sure they tried to sell" "And scrape up anything they could." "Yeah." "So anyway, this is where the old bastard lived." " Yeah." " Right before he went to prison." "Now he's in a what, 4x6 whatever they have in jail?" "Sohowdidthis all go down?" "Didthecopsjustshow up unannounced" "Andjusttakehim straight from here or what?" "No,theydidn'tget  him from here." "They found him in freakin' indonesia somewhere." "I don't really want to go in." "Hi, kitty, kitty, kitty." "Howie, get out of here." "Come on, brian, come on." "Want to go upstairs?" " Want to?" " Yeah." "Which way, this way?" "Hey, lou, are you here?" "We're here, lou." "Where's our money?" "Wow." "I hate it." "I got to get out of here." "I don't like this place." "I know, right?" "I mean, how can it hurt but then you still feel sorry" "At the same time, it doesn't" "You feel sorry for the guy," "But he had every opportunity to make it right... and he didn't, you know?" "He didn't do that." "That's... that's probably what hurts the most." "You'vecreatedacircle" "Ofpeopleyoubelieve is gonna protect you" "Andthenallofa sudden it comes crashing down" "Andyou'relike, who can i trust?" "Thereality's saying draw the line." "Personalbusiness, that's when we learned." "Weeventuallyboughthim out ." "Itwassomethinglike 27 million dollars" "Thatwehadtopayhim, but to be rid of him" "Andtobe abletohave  what we have now" "And that freedom and to not have potentially lost everything," "Was it worth it?" "Yes, it was worth it." "Backstreetboysreleased" "Theirsecondalbum "millennium" today." "And,my,oh my , this is crazy." "Thedaythatwereleased "millennium"" "Wasa mind-Bogglingday for us in history." "Theyshutdowntimessquare 5,000,6,000kids out in front of "tri."" "Itwasnuts." "Incredible." "Amazing." "Thatalbumwashuge for us." "Atthetime," "Itsold24 million copies worldwide." "We were on fire." "Record-Breaking one million-Plus sold the first week out." "Thenorthamericanleg  of the tour" "Brokeevenmorerecords." "Alltheticketswentonsale the same day" "Andquicklyranup a cool $30 million." "Are you ready to party?" "Whoo, yeah, baby!" "Itwasoffthe rock." "Imean,we weregods in a twisted way." "Asa 17yearold , i was just like," ""Thisisdope." "This is great."" "Icangetany girliwant." "That's all i care about." "Icangetany girliwant." "Iwasjustenjoying this momentum." "Iwasenjoying this euphoria." "Imean,it was" "Itwasunlike anything we had ever felt." "Everything was going so fast." "Itwaskindoflike  a blur." "Thewinneris" " The backstreet boys!" " The backstreet boys." " The backstreet boys." "Backstreet boys." ""Millennium" was hit after hit after hit." "Wewereunstoppable." "Wejustbroke every record in the world," "Practicallyforalbumsales and tour sales" "Andtouringandthe record label knows" "That a young teenage female can change her mind pretty quick." "Theywantedto strike while the iron was hot" "And, you know, sell another 20 something million albums" "As soon as possible." "Wecamestraight off the road" "Andthenwe wereright back in the studio" "Forournextalbum." "Weshouldn'thavedonethat ." "Weshouldhave stepped back, recharged," "Gotsomeperspective, got some inspiration," "Andthengone into the studio." "Inourrisetofame" "Ihadopenheartsurgery at 23 years old," "Youknow,in 1998." "We" " We didn't even, like, cancel tours." "Itwasn'taboutme as a person in my health." "Itdidn'tmatter what i did." "Itdidn'tmatter which verse i sang." "Nowwithyoureyes only come up to me." "Yeah,crawlon up ... wewereabig stack of cash." "Thattheyweregonna have a piece of" "Attheendoftheday, and go do it." "We're going on a plane." "This is the plane." "We love the plane." "Wedidthis around the world trip" "In100hours." "Nick, i love you!" "Asa $ 4million promotional thing," "Itwasbrilliant, but, you know," "Therewasalot  of money being spent." "I remember feeling a little overwhelmed," "Like, how long can this last?" "Isthebottomgonnafall out?" "O-O-O-Hmygod!" "For" blackandblue,"" "Wegotan offer, a certain amount of shows," "$100million." "I mean, we were all like, "holy shit!"" "That's a lot of money." "Itwasso extraordinary and so over-The-Top" "Thati don'tknowicould really comprehend it still," "Tothisday." "Fromlike'94 to about 2002 was just nonstop," "Albumafteralbum tour after tour" "Thatwasnineyears straight of touring." "Weweredone." "One,two, three, four..." " oh!" " Thank you, thank you, thank you." "'99 to 2000, this was my haven." "Because i could do whatever i wanted," "'Cause we pretty much ran orlando." "Everything was comped, comped everywhere we went." "Yeah." "I mean, free liquors, free everything." " We've been best friends now for what, 15 years?" " Yeah, 15." "This has got a lot of history for me, good and bad..." " yeah." " With you." "Wehadtoplessbowling." "That was fun." "The girls, remember the girls on the ball returns?" " Aha, straddling the" " Just bowling and" "Yep, we would just call the girls over afterwards" "And they'd come by, and they'd just strip." "And do a little bit of that" " They would do that, but" " Prettier." "Prettier and with giant boobs." "Whatever!" "Youdon'thavebig boobs, so it doesn't work." "Whee!" "That's super fun." "You know, like those claw vending machines," "We won a britney spears doll out of there." " Well, i won." " He won it and then" "You probably spent like $100 on it." "I spent a dollar and i won it." "And i wanted to bowl him for it." "And i got you annihilated by the fifth frame." "'Causei can'tdrink and bowl." " It's the only thing that's" " And i had a shot" "And i kind of threw up a little bit back in the cup" "But i still finished it with a little bit of puke" "And because of that," "He could never do shots ever again." " I threw up." " You threw up later." "No, no, no, i threw up in the cup, and you drank that." " Oh, is that what it was?" " Yes, that's what" "If it was just you puked then i could then" " That's fine." " Oh, sorry." " I threw up in the cup" " And that wasn't" " That was" " That's a twist." "A.J.Wantedto be  this bad boy so badly." "I think in his own mind, he thought he was rock and roll" "Not realizing he was in a boy band." "How's everybody right down in the front?" "!" "Tomethatwas  the only tour" "Ieverdrankonstage during the show" "I was at my worst at that point." "You in the" "I think he was rebelling against this facade" "That people thought we were and thought we had to be." "Ilostsightofmyself, which is very easy to do" "Whenyou'rein agroup." "Youloseyourself." "You lose your identity." "In boston, in 2001," "We were supposed to do the first pitch" "At this softball game, or baseball game" "Um, and sing the national anthem." "Igetacallfrom  our road manager" "That A.J. Is not coming." "Iwasin whatpeople in the drug world" "Would call a coke coma, 'cause i'd just been up" "For days on end and i just needed to sleep." "Kevin, in kevin's kevin way did not like that very much." "He won't answer his phone, he won't answer his door." "So i backed up and... busted it open, i was as mad as hell." "Kevin came to the other door which was double bolted" "And i tried to bust that thing in" "And i couldn't get in there." "Uh, but i'm glad that i didn't." "I'm glad i didn't 'cause i was mad." "I was about to beat the shit out of him," "But i was mad." "To this day, i will forever be grateful to kevin" "Being the reason why i even went into rehab." "You know, he's the one that made that intervention." "He's the one that broke down my hotel room door" "And exchanged the words that we exchanged" "That were not nice." "You know, i mean," "I'll never forget him saying, "you are dead to me."" "That was it." "I got A.J. Over here next to me" "Pulled up in is hot rod." "He thinks he's a rapper, i think." "And... straight line." "Hey!" "I'll be in the line behind A.J. Right." " Take a mental note." " I'm trying to get there." "Youknow, nobody tells you what to do" "When you get to the top." "Everybody is so quick to push, push, push," "To get you there," "But they're not quick to hold you there." "They just wanna you know what?" "Next." "Youknow, after we lost kevin," "Everybodythought it was over," "Eventhoughthefourofus  kept going." "Wedidtwoalbums." "We did three tours." "Butforme ,personally, it was just never the same." "Lookingdowntheline on stage," "You see just three other guys, it was just never right." "Yeah, go to the rhythm." "Obviously,there'salways gonna be doubts and fears." "I mean, this is not just a regular tour." "Thisisabig deal." "Now that wasn't right." "That right there" "Bringingback some of the old choreography" "Wehaven'tdonein 15-Plus years." "Youknow, it's nerve-Racking." "I can't even remember the beginning formation." "Right here." " Yo, man." "You... out." "We got it." "Don'tworry, i'll be sweet with you," "But i got to be hard with your daddy, okay." "Youguys,anyquestions before we move on?" "Yeah." "It's just little details." "Kevinhasn'tbeenonstage with us in over seven years." "I'vehadtwokneesurgeries." "Andthendealingwith probably the biggest issue now," "Whichisbrian." "Butwedon'tliketotalk about it." "Andi don'tthinkhelikes to talk about it very much." "We'retalkingabouttaking this thing around the world." "It'snotjust30,  40 shows and that's it." "I mean, this is gonna be 80 to 100-Something shows overall." "We'vedonetoursbefore in less amount of time." "But for some reason, i'm a little scared myself" "That we'll still behind the 8 ball." "Time-Wise, are we behind right now?" "Areweon par the way you guys are?" "I'm not gonna, you know, sugarcoat anything." " We are behind." " Okay." "We only have 14 days of rehearsal left." "I'm here to fucking rehearse whatever." " Okay." " All right, baby?" " All right." " I'm here." "Just making sure because we're fucking losing time." "Look, i'm here, baby." "I'm here." "Wait,wait, hold on, listen." "Rehearsing saturdays, every saturday." "Like,weweregonna have weekends off," "Now we got to rehearse every saturday." "I was already prepared for that." "We're so far behind, it's not even funny," "And it's disappointing and it's frustrating" "And it pisses me off, and it stresses me out." "We'll make it simple." "All of them, that's a double cd." "We're done." "Okay, no, let's not try to dwell on songs unless" "'Cause we could be on one song for an hour" "And we have limited time." "Define what not dwell means." "There'snotimelimit, just don't dwell" "Allright, play "be your soldier."" "The chorus just doesn't do it for me." " The song is great." " But as a subject matter," "I like what the song is saying, like" "It doesn't do it for me." "I disagree, i think the chorus actually is good." "I actually like the verses." "I hear what you're saying on the chorus." " Just that one little-- I hear you, i hear you." "That's the only thing that bothers me." "But i think it's a great song for the album," " Because i love what it says." " I think it's definitely a contender." "I can sing this with conviction" "Because it means something to me." "I'm not comfortable with changing the chorus" "Of this song." "No, no, no, don't" " You don't have to like do that to me." "Just calm down." "You're getting flushed." "Nick's getting red." " It's going up to here." " I'm telling you, i'm telling you" "That this is a big song." "People get" " Fucking, if it's not on a record," "We could be regretting it." "My point is is i still don't like it." "Whether you change it or not, i still don't like it." " I've heard your point." " I know, and we see your point." "Allright, next song is" ""Showmewhat you're made of."" "Should we talk about the song a little more?" "No." "Moveon ." " Look at you." " You look the same." "I look the same." "Oh, thank you." " How you doing?" " You look absolutely gorgeous." " Thank you." " You look beautiful." "Thanks, sandy." "This is the backstreet boys." "You were singing with your local singing teacher" "And she said, "i've got this great kid." "We need to get him dancing 'cause he's got a great voice."" "And i said, "okay, bring him over."" "And i said, "nick, right leg."" "The left leg, i put the left leg out." "Okay, nick, left leg, and then he did the right leg." "He still does the same thing." "Comeonin  and say hi." "They'regonnago crazy." " We're going in." " Let's do it." "Comeonin ." "I've been dancing since i was, like, four years old," " So i" " Really?" " Ballet for eight years." " Good." " Jazz, tap." " We couldn't get him in ballet." "We tried." " You did ballet?" " Eight years of ballet." "Okay, it was the weirdest thing i had tights and everything." "I was the only boy in my ballet class." "So my mom ended up putting me into tap" "After eight years of ballet 'cause i was like," ""I feel a little weird in tights." "I'm a little boy and i'm skinny." "Hey, it takes a man to do it." "Thisisoursenior dance company." "Hi." "You want to back up a little bit so they can see you?" "I don't know about now i might actually" "Come on, do it!" "Perform, please." "If i rip my pants, i'm blaming you." "Come on." "Oh." "Whoo." "You're gonna pay for that tomorrow." "Oh!" "Don't get me started." "He never done that with us in 20 years!" " That's interesting." " You guys know the "backstreet's back" dance?" "Anybodyknowthat?" " Ah, see, i knew they didn't know that." " Too young." "They weren't born yet." "Five, six, seven, go!" "They got it already." "Yeah." "Good job, buddy." " Shut the fuck up and let me talk!" " You shut the fuck up!" "Listen-- Guys!" "You shut the fuck up." "You shut the fuck up." "I swear to god, don't fucking talk to me that way." "I'll talk to you however i want to talk to you." "You don't get respect out of me that way." "Don't be a fucking dick like everyone knows you are." " You don't want to hear it." " You understand what i'm saying?" "Don't be a fucking dick." "Don't be a dick!" "Trust me, you don't want it from me, baby." " Trust me." " Like i'm shaking." "I'm not afraid of you anymore." "Dude, what-- You were afraid of me?" "No, i'm" " He knows what i'm talking about, dude." "What about fucking vocals on songs?" "Are we gonna talk about that?" "Are we gonna talk about the fact that" "You don't necessarily sound as good as you used to?" " The demo voice" " Are we gonna talk about that?" "Are we gonna talk about that?" "And we'll talk about when we get in the studio" "And producers come to us and tell us" "That they got problems because of your fucking voice." "Yeah, 'cause i can't do your job anymore." "Oh, no, no, no, no!" "This is the truth." "How about speaking from a place of love" "And not a place of anger?" "I'm not angry." "I'm fucking being real." "Because everyone else wants to sugarcoat it." "Everyone wants to sugarcoat it." "Let's fucking bring it out in the open." "You know what?" "When producers come up to me-- Stop!" "When producers come up to us and are saying," ""What's wrong with brian's voice?" "What's happening with his voice?"" "And then you want to sing on the records, dawg," "And you sound great on records," "'Cause you can do a fucking little bit of editing," "But when got to go on stage and sing that shit" "And we got to go do world tour," "I mean, this is the kind-- This is all i'm trying to say." "But you take the good and the bad, dawg." " No, because" " You take the good and the bad." " We're a group." " Can you sit down for a sec, nick?" " No, i don't want to sit down." " Well, here's what i think." "I just want someone to really talk about what the fuck" " Is really going on!" " But time out." "Sit down for a second..." " no!" " And show some fucking respect." "How about respect me and let me stand up?" "I respect you." "Stand up then." "You're getting two different arguments here." "You'vebustedyourass ." "I appreciate it." "Weallappreciateit." "Somehow it got blown up into an argument" "Between you and brian and a competition" "Over lead vocals." "And there's a lot of baggage here" "From the fucking past 20 years" "Thatiscomingout now , and, yeah," "Weneedto talk about brian's vocal issues." "Weneedto talkaboutthat ." "We need to find a way to make it work." " And that's what we're trying to do." " All i'm saying" "Theylooknice with those jackets on." "Great." "Iwantto be  as supportive as i can." "Imean,notonlyare we group members" "And business partners, but we're family." "And, uh.... so i have your back and i want to have your back" "And i want to be supportive." "I think personally, i'm a little frustrated." "Because i feel like um, i don't know where you're at." "What" " What has happened lately with your therapy," "And i know you're living it," "But not a day goes by that i don't think about you." "Andhere'smy thing." "Youknow,ithink we should put the brakes on." "But i don't want to stop the train." "This is the thing." "This is a huge year for us." "And i have to be in tip-Top shape somehow, some way." "The frustrating part is, is i'm the one" "That has to live with it, and i'm the one" "That has to hear it each and every day." "You guys, i could talk to you till i'm blue in the face," "And you'll never understand it." "I don't expect you to understand it." "We're not trying to do an intervention on you." "But it's almost like you-- Like, in like a person" "Who's going into rehab where you almost need" "To really like possibly have-- Take this really serious" "And have somebody working with you, like, every day" "Let's stop performing live until some of this shit," "We get it worked out." "Let's let you do your therapy." "Let's let you experiment with whatever the doctors say." "To be honest with you, let's face it." "It's the pressure that i put on myself" "Of what i was, what i am, and what i'm gonna be." "Because the wait for me at the beginning" "Was i had to fix it for you and for you" "And for you and for you and for you and for you." "Then i woke up one day and i thought," ""Damn, you know i really need to just fix this for me."" "Yeah." " Because you can't fix alcohol abuse for me." " Right." " It's for you." "I apologize that if my bad performance" "Takes the stock down, which is true," "But i can only do what i can do to be best for me right now." "I haven't heard nick say anything." "I've heard everybody else talk." "When it comes to your point of view" "On for yourself, i completely accept that," "And i" " That is" " That's you it's what you got to do." "I think that there is a 50/50 thing here, though, as well." "I've gone through this before in this group, all right?" "When i was overweight, when i was drinking" "And doing drugs, when i was being a maniac," "It affected the group." "Andi gotconfronted by you guys." "Everybodydocked thousands of dollars" "Fornotshowing up on time." "I had to get better for you." "A.J.Did,too." " A.J. Had to as well." "We'veallhadto in different ways." "And i'm passionate about it 'cause i'm still pissed off." "But,nick, it starts with you, period." " It starts with you." " Of course it starts with me." "Yes, it's reflective, but it starts with me." "So this shit happens to be about me." " So let it start with me first..." "yes." "And then let it filter." "I want you to get better." "I really do." "I genuinely want you to get better." "All right?" "I want michael jordan back." "I really do." "Ialwaysfeltlike it was jordan and pippen" "Inthisgroup, and i really did," "And i thought you were michael jordan." "And i miss that voice again." "I miss it." "And i believe you can have it back." "I believe you can." "I believe you will get it back." "And i believe us as a team we" " The five starters" "That we can do it but we need michael" "Andi knowit 'sgonnahappen." "I used to play in this, well, not in it," "But i would go underneath here." "I would go crawl all the way underneath there" "Back there there was this alligator sitting on" "On the shoulder or whatever, and he was like hanging there" "Sleeping, like, sunbathing." "I grabbed some rocks and i started throwing them at him." "I had this other kid with me, alligator got pissed," "And he started chasing us, came after us." "I jumped up on top of this like retention thing" "And i just went, oh, down, fell in between it," "Came home, i was crying." "My dad stitched me up." "Your dad stitched you up?" "Yeah, he didn't want-- He didn't believe sort of" "In like hospitals and stuff, so he kind of" "Just butterflied that thing all up." "And that's why it's all torn up." "See that orange pumpkin place?" "That's my house." " Right here?" " That orange thing." " 216?" " 216." "It was just like" " It was a house full of fear for me." "We would be little kids and we would hear mom" "And dad, like, screaming at each other" "And they would just constantly be drinking" "And fighting and we'd hear guns go off the window." "You know, out the window, shooting," "And" " Not shooting at each other," "Buttheyalwaysfought over money." "And i wanted to bring my family to a whole 'nother level." "I want to take them out of here," "Give them bigger houses, better things," "And all these, you know... i mean, how much can you give?" "Are you looked at as a dollar sign now?" "Are you looked at as... you know," "What are you looked at as?" "And that's what sucks because before" "I was looked at as a sibling in my house." "I'veactuallybeenestranged from my mom and dad" "Fora while." "I haven't seen them in maybe seven, eight years." "It just-- You see where you came from." "You see where you've been, and... you question things" "And you wonder where you're going... and... i don't know, man." "Most of the kids that i played with on this block," "Most of the people that i tried to fit in with," "Now are either dead" "Or serious drug addicts or in prison." "I would have totally ended up like a lot" "Of these kids out here." "I haven't been here in, i don't know, 17 years or something." "I'm, like, nervous." "Oh, my goodness." "Do you remember this?" "Thisiscrazy!" "They got it set up." " Oh, jesus." " The front row!" "Who's that boy?" "There is is." "You see him?" "Ialwaysthought she was super pretty." "Shewas." "Andtheni" "Iwas  the biggest nerd in school," "Like this was the only way that i could get attention" " From anybody." " Boy, did you." "Because when i would walk down these halls." "I would get picked on a lot, and people didn't like me." "I know." "I was just the weird kid in the school, you know, but... i've had this for..." "22 years." "And it means a lot to me that you've come back" "And you've recognized your teacher." "Absolutely." " You know i still love you." " I love you, too." "She honestly was one of the most influential" "I mean she kind of recognized me, so... thank you." "And we put it in a format so you could see it now." "Maybe someday for your grandchildren?" " Yeah." "Thank you again." " You're welcome." "I have no idea why i'm crying." "I think it has a lot to do with... all the bad stuff that i had gone through." "And there was only like a couple of lights" "And whenever i'd get on stage," "It was a way to get away." "It was a way to escape." "It was a way to get away from all the stuff" "That i was going through." "And you know, i'm so... i've only got, like, a couple of things to hold onto" "Over the years, and this is one of them." "And when i see-- When i see that" "And when i see that video... it was, like, reminds me" "Of sort of, like, the good times" "And then... i don't know, i tried everything i can" "To block out things and just eliminate" "She was, uh-- She was my escape," "And she recognized me." "And i really..." "i'm just happy" "I got this right here, that's all." "Just happy i got it." "Readyonone, two, three... we're gonna look right over here." "Are you ready?" "Thankyou." "It's weird." "These desks are still the same." "Stillthesame." " This is my class." " Yes." "Toomuchemotion, got to roll." " Are you ready?" " Yeah, let's go." "One,two,three... kids, i tell you." "Yo, look out the window." "Therewasalot  of groups that came and went" "Whileweweredoing our thing." "Weneverwentanywhere." "We just kept on going." "20yearsis along fucking time for anybody," "Let alone" " Five bunch of dorks jumping around onstage" "Singing and dancing." "Thisisthefirstsingle off of the brand-New album." "This is called "in a world like this."" "A.J.,tellme how you're feeling about the trip" "Upthehill?" "That's as far as i'm gonna go." "Whatever!" "Dude, do you think we should not do this maybe?" "Whatareyou talking about?" "It's pretty tough." "You want me to go up first and show you?" "Did i just tell you how silly you look?" "And that was almost my face, but it's totally worth it." "We didn't have ropes when we did it." "Oh, my god." " Good job, d." " Holy crap." "Hoo whoo!" " Good job, camp." " Good job, rock." "Good job, man, hey," " Everybody, good job." " We did it." " Whoo!" " We did good." "And you know what, guys?" "I think we owe it all to the fans out there" "For all these memories." "We hope you guys have created memories, too" "Along with us." "Y'all ready to party like it's 1999?" "Yo, jump!" "Keep workin'!" "Good god!" "Hey, fellas, happy 20th anniversary." "Thanks, bro." "Happy 20th, guys." " Come here" " Oh, god!" "Whowouldhavethought 20 years ago" "When we began this journey together" "That this would be a stop along the way." "Backstreet boys!" "Backstreet boys!" "Let'sgonow!" "'Causeyouknowthat" "Waybacky'all."