"[Narrator] Previously on Grey's Anatomy:" "Derek's married." "You waited two months to tell me and I had to find out by her showing up and telling me herself?" " You had brain surgery and didn't say?" " You called my wife?" " You called mine." " We're not divorced." " Practically." " You had counseling?" "We had adultery." " It's best to make a clean break." " Oh, you're ending this." "I'm pregnant." "Have you bothered to tell Burke about the baby?" "The clinic wouldn't let me confirm my appointment unless I designated an emergency contact person." " You're my person." " I am?" "I heard your mother was leaving Mayo." "She going back with the UN?" "She's, uh, taking time off." " What's your name?" " It's me, Mom." "Meredith." "[Sighs]" "[Panting]" "Oh." "[Yang] You are stupid." "Oh, God." "You're a stupid evil sadist and I want to kill you." "[Meredith] Endorphins are good." "Endorphins are mood elevators." "This is supposed to make us feel better." "[Yang] Oh, God." "Do you feel better?" "[Meredith] I'm stupid." "[Yang] Slutty mistress." "[Meredith] Pregnant whore." "[Yang] Sleeping with our bosses was a great idea." "You know what's ruined for me?" "Ferryboats." "I used to love ferryboats." "And Derek's got a thing for ferryboats." "Now every time I see a freaking ferryboat..." "You know what's ruined for me?" "Coronary artery bypass grafts." "And aortic aneurysms." "God, I used to love aortic aneurysms." "[Meredith] Surgeons are control freaks," "With a scalpel in your hand..." "Oh, crap!" "... you feel unstoppable," "There's no fear, there's no pain," " Have you cried yet?" " Hello." "You're ten feet tall and bulletproof," "Do you think we'd feel better if we cried?" "You know, just let it out?" "Probably." "Yeah." "And then you leave the OR," " Do you want to cry now?" " No." "OK, let's jog." "And all that perfection, all that beautiful control, just falls to crap," "[Izzie laughs]" "What is she doing?" "She's hanging out with Alex." "Why?" "I don't know." "I think they might be friends." "Do another one." "[As Jodie Foster] "Make the lambs stop screaming."" "You guys are wrong about him." "Once you get to know him, he's really sweet." " He's Alex." " Punk ass." "Grey." "Izzie said you have tapes of your mom performing surgery." "I'd kill to see the Ellis Grey in action." "Maybe you can come over tonight and we can all watch it together." "Right?" "Oh, yeah." "If this were a hell dimension." " [Yang] Run away, pig boy." " Do you have a thing for Alex?" " No." " [Yang] Oh..." "I don't." "Are we saving lives or having a tea party?" "Walk faster." "[Elevator bell]" "[Clears throat]" "Nice hat." " Shut up." " What are you doing here?" " Going back to work." " You're not cleared for surgery." "Leave me alone." "I've been sitting home for a week." "Watching Oprah give away things on TV." "Oprah, Derek." "You clear me now or I'll hurt you." "You should've thought about me clearing you before you gave Chief to Burke" " and invited Satan to Seattle." " Satan?" " Good morning." "Richard, I like the hat." " Satan speaks." "I prefer to be called Ruler Of All That Is Evil, but I will answer to Satan." " Why is she still here?" " I asked her to stay." "We have a pediatric surgery attending on maternity leave." "Actually, I could use you on a consult." "Will you meet me up there, Derek?" " Yeah." "Fine." " See you, Richard." " [Richard] Nice lady." " I'm not clearing you for surgery." "Fine." "I can catch up on my paperwork." "[Elevator bell]" "Mr. Gaston is scheduled for resection non-small cell carcinoma today." "He did well overnight, has remained afebrile." "He's had a dose of ceftriaxone this morning." "His pre-op labs are unremarkable." "His chest X-rays, um, are unchanged from the previous." "I own a couple of dry-cleaning stores." "Never believed it about inhaling the chemicals." "We're going do everything we can for you, Mr. Gaston." "Did Oncology see him yet?" "They're waiting for the surgical path." " Thank you, Dr. Yang." " You're welcome, Dr. Burke." "I know, I just think you should still tell him about the baby because he'd have the responsibility of having to pay." "No." "You know what?" "He will never know." "It's over." "After this pregnancy, Burke won't be a blip on my radar, he'll be a smudge." " Right." " You know, Meredith." "Leave the sarcasm up to me." "Really, it doesn't suit you." "[Telephone rings]" "Kelly Roche, 23 years old, in for an ETS for treatment of erythrophobia and hyperpyrexia." " Erythrophobia?" " Blushing." "You have any questions about the procedure?" "Doctor Sh..." "Dr. Shepherd explained everything." "He was very... helpful." "He gave me some literature..." "Sorry." "Don't be." "Half the patients who come through here have the hots for Shepherd." "Dr. Karev." "What?" "It's true." " Hey, why do you do that?" " What?" "Act like an ass when everyone but me is around?" "They already hate you." "So?" "What?" "There's a new surgical case coming up from the pit." "Likely diverticulitis." "Let's go." "[PA] Any available IV nurse to the ER, Any available IV nurse to the ER, [woman] Hands off me!" "If I report you to the chief, you'd be out on your ass." " Where's the chief?" " [Yang] Patient's name is..." "You're all amateurs!" " Also suffers from..." " Get away from me!" "Amateurs!" "...Alzheimer's." " [Bailey] Patient's name?" " Um..." " Yang!" "The patient's name!" "What the hell are you doing here?" "How many times have I told you not to bother me when I'm at work?" "!" " Ellis Grey." " [George] Meredith's mother." "Amateurs!" "You're amateurs!" "[# Psaap:" "Crazy in the Rocket]" "[Izzie] Something you don't need to go through alone." "[Izzie] Something you don't need to go through alone." "[All talk]" "You don't need to go through this alone." " Stop it!" " Meredith, are you OK?" "Dr. Karev, stick with the ETS case." "And, Alex, her blushing impulse." "Not a toy for you to play with or a button to push." "Understood?" "[Yang] Meredith." "My great-grandmother, she died with Alzheimer's." " [Izzie] Why would you say that?" " Well, I'm just trying to help." "Izzie, the Dr. Shepherds need an intern up in the NICU." "Wait, both of them?" "Together?" "And me, by myself, with the two married people who hate each other." "Go." "Cristina, you're on the thoracotomy." "With Burke?" "Can I have the hateful married couple?" "OK, I'm sorry." "I thought I was your resident, not your hostess." "I assign, you take." "Is that a problem?" "Is there some reason why it's inconvenient for you to spend the day in the OR learning from Dr. Burke?" "No, I'm very happy to be working with Dr. Burke." "George, take care of Dr. Grey." "Yes." "Thank you." "She needs a friend right now..." "Oh, you mean, Ellis, the... mother." " Are you able to work today?" " Yes." "I'm fine." "I would understand it if you wanted to be with your..." "No." "My mother and I don't have the easiest..." "It's just better if I'm working." " OK." "You're on scut." " Excuse me?" "While we take care of your mother, you can catch up on charting, run samples to the lab, go over..." "I told you, I'm fine." "And I appreciate that you're fine." "I have to anticipate a certain level of distraction from you." "Even in the face of all that fine-ness." "So scut." "Now." " Where's the mother?" " [Addison] Gone." "Stuck around long enough to get the kid strung out then took off." " Nice, huh?" " Addison..." "Derek, I know it's a long shot." "You told me that you had a newborn with an invasive mass." "You failed to mention she's premature, underweight and addicted to narcotics." "There is no way that this baby will survive spinal surgery." " You don't know that." " Even if she does, she's a mess." "Meningitis, seizures." "She'd live a short, painful life." " You don't know that." " It's my job to know." " You're not God." " Excuse me?" " Sorry, honey, but you're not." " Did you call me honey?" " Don't call me honey." " You're not God, Dr. Shepherd." "If a patient has a chance, which I think she does, you have a responsibility..." " Don't talk about responsibility." " You took an oath." " And don't you dare talk about oaths." " Derek, I messed up." "People mess up." "You slept with my friend on my favorite sheets." " You hate the flannel sheets." " I love them." " You like the Italian sheets." " Stop talking about them." "I'm sorry, I'm just gonna go." "I'll go check on the labs." " Addison, don't do this." " Derek." "She's this fighter." " Look how far she's come." " Don't get attached and involved." "Just don't make her life more painful than it already is." "Derek, please." "She has nobody." "She needs someone to fight for her." "She's too far gone." "We have to let her go." "Let her go in peace." "Fine, Derek." "Walk away." "It's what you do best." "I've enjoyed the opportunity to show you my capabilities in this arena," " however brief." " Stop fishing, Preston." "You did a good job." "But I'm back now and I don't plan on going anywhere anytime soon." "I am glad that you're back." "I'm just hiding my joy." "Deep down inside." "And, Chief?" "The hat." "It's a little pimped out." " Welcome back, Chief." " It's good to be back, Dr. Grey." "What can I do for you?" "It's my mother, sir." "[Woman makes announcement on PA]" "Sorry I didn't say sooner." "I know you were close, but she made me promise." "She seems to be reliving the heyday of her residency a lot these days." "And I just thought maybe if you could stop by and say hello it would mean a lot to her." "Oh, of course." " Do you need a day off or..." " Oh, no." "I'm fine." "Yeah." "OK." " If you could..." " It's the middle of my workday, Thatch." "Thatch?" "No, I'm Dr. O'Malley." "I'm..." "OK." "I just need to check your..." "I'm not in the mood to play doctor now." "Hands off." "I'm busy." "George." "Damn it, Thatch." "I mean it." "No!" "[Meredith] George." "She's allergic to penicillin." " Oh, yeah, it said it on her chart." " Oh." " You just have to be patient." " OK." "Do you..." "Um, who's Thatch?" "My dad." "Thatcher." "What did she..." "Is she talking about him?" " Yeah." " She never talks about him." " Are you all right?" " No, yeah, yeah, I'm good." "Um..." "I can't be here." "Of course, I mean, we're good here." "We're great." "So..." "OK." "OK." "Dr. Shepherd?" "Meredith." "I heard." "Is it true?" "Yeah." "Secret's out." " Dr. Shepherd..." " You don't have to call me that." "Dr. Shepherd, I want in on a surgical case." "I can't just do nothing all day." "And you owe me this." "And I never ask you for anything like this, so..." "I have an ETS this afternoon." "You'll scrub in." "[Nurse] Here, Dr. Yang." "[Burke] You're late." "I apologize." "[Nurse] Suction." "[Burke] Just starting to dissect around Mr. Gaston's tumor." "I've almost got visualization." "Hey, Kelly." "Dr. Sh..." "Dr. Shepherd." "God." "Sorry." "Damn it." " Kelly?" " Yep?" " Kelly." " Mm-hm?" "This might be the last time that that ever happens." "How are her labs?" "HH are stable, chest X-rays show no acute process." " Good." "You ready to go?" " Are you kidding?" "I've been ready since the third grade." "Did you read the literature?" "You understand the possible side effects?" "Compensatory sweating of the back, abdomen, thighs and legs." "Possible gustatory sweating." "Horner's syndrome occurs in under one percent of patients." "Brachial plexus injury, pneumothorax and hemothorax are highly unlikely, but possible side effects of the surgery." "You did your homework." "Take her to pre-op." "I'll alert the OR." "Do you know what all those words mean?" "Brachial plexus injury could cause paralysis of the arms." "Pneumothorax is a collapsed lung." "I know." "Are you sure you want to risk all of that?" "Over a little bit of blushing?" "Is that what you think this is?" "A little bit of blushing?" "Just a schoolgirl embarrassment?" "Look, you both saw what happened when Dr Sh... when Dr. Shepherd was here." "What did you think?" "Well, I thought you liked him." "I do, but do you think I want a roomful of doctors to know about it?" "It's not like we're going to..." "It's not just you guys." "It's not just this once." "It happens... every time I have a feeling for anyone in my life." "I can't get mad, I can't be happy." "I can't feel anything without the whole world knowing." "I can't have a secret." "Can you imagine living that way your entire life?" "[Glass shatters]" "Get away from me, you insipid little man." " Calm down." " Get out of my room!" " Get away from my house!" " What can I do?" "Calm down." "Please get some haloperidol." "Don't you give me that look." "That sad little soulful, little puppy routine." "I know it by heart, Thatch, and I'm over it." "I don't want to hear about your day, or your students, for your pathetic little research grants!" "[Pants] My..." "My work is what counts." "It's what pays for this house." "It pays for you and it pays for Meredith." "And for your precious lifestyle." "So why won't you just leave me alone and let me do it?" "Meredith may think she needs you, but I sure as hell don't." " [George] Dr. Grey..." " Here it is." "Are you OK?" "That's something I'm supposed to be asking you." "O'Malley!" "I understand that you're working on Ellis Grey?" "Yes, sir." "I'm trying my best." "Keep me informed of her progress and take care of her." " She's an old friend of mine." " Really?" "I actually could use some help." "Could you help me examine her?" "I'm just a little busy just now." "You know..." "Got to run." "Right." "OK." "She seems to think I'm her ex-husband and she won't let me touch her." "It's funny, you do look a bit like Thatcher." "I look like Meredith's dad?" "Um..." "Just take good care of her, George." "But like her dad?" "I need help." " Hey." " Hey." " Hey, wait." " What?" "You have an eyelash." "Make a wish and blow it away." "Hey, Nurse Ratched." "There's a dead guy stinking up room 4125." "Do something before he rots." "See?" "That is exactly what I'm talking about." "Why are you so afraid of showing people that you're a decent human being?" "Remember when he wallpapered the place with pictures of you in your underwear?" "Yeah." "Yeah, I do." "That was before I knew you." "Thanks, man." "Very helpful." "I need you to help me do an exam on Meredith's mom." "A standard exam?" "You did go to med school, right?" "She thinks I'm her ex-husband." "She won't let me." " Dr. Grey?" " Goddamn it, Thatcher." "I'm at work." "I have told you I'm too busy to deal with you now." "No more cartoons!" " She means interruptions." " No more interruptions, Thatch." "You heard the doctor." "Hi, I'm Dr. Karev." "Pleased to meet you." "I've always admired your work." "You're familiar with the laparoscopic Grey method?" "I've studied footage of the operation you pioneered." "You're something else." "Good." "Well, then." "We're wasting time." "Let's scrub in." "Well, I'm going to need to do a short exam before you start surgery." "I know, new hospital policy, annoying bureaucrats." "Make it quick." "Why don't you wait outside, Thatcher?" "I can take it from here." "Take a deep breath." "[Baby cries]" " She's got a good grip." " Yeah." "I don't think it..." "It doesn't look good." "She's got a resistant strain of pneumococcus." "The antibiotics aren't working." "You may want to get yourself reassigned, I don't think we'll be operating today." "So, do you think Dr. Shepherd was right?" "She's too far gone." "She does have a good grip." "[Burke] The tumor has infiltrated the pericardium." "[Nurse] Sat's down to 95." "[Burke] Yang?" "[Echoing] Yang?" "What, sorry?" "Is my surgery interfering with your daydreaming?" "No." "Sorry." "[Nurse] Forceps." "[Burke] CVP is 241." " You have a problem?" " No." " You have a mocha latte?" " No." "Then go away." "Actually, I need a new assignment." "The Shepherds' preemie case is non-surgical." " Non-surgical?" " Non-operable." " Sucks." " Yeah." "Did you know about Ellis Grey?" "Did Meredith tell you?" "No." "It's just, you think you know someone." "You know who they are." "You share a house or make wishes on eyelashes with them." "And we don't know each other." "None of us." "We're just a bunch of interns who work together." "There's nothing there." "[Burke] There's an arrhythmia when I press down on the tumor." "That is a sign of what, Yang?" "Um..." "It's a sign of..." "It's a..." "It's a sign that the tumor has infiltrated the pericardium." "Possibilities?" "You know, I'm sorry, I..." "Do your homework, Yang." "It could be causing a tear in the outer muscle of the heart." "[Man] So he's got a broken heart?" " [Nurse] Dr. Yang?" " Cristina?" "Cristina?" "[Burke] Somebody help her!" "Cristina?" "Cristina?" "Don't just stand there, damn it." "Somebody help her." " Get a gurney in here!" "Cristina?" " [Izzie] Cristina!" " [Bailey] We've got it." " Talk to me." " What do we know?" "Talk to me, Stevens!" " I don't know!" " Come on, people, let's move!" " [Bailey] What hurts?" "Let's get her out of here." "There's a patient on the table." "Lift." "Good, good, good." "Dr. Bailey, when she's stable I need a report." " Dr. Bailey?" " Right, Dr. Burke." "Her pulse is racing." "I need her on a monitor to get a BP." "Also, I want her started on a liter of LR wide open." "Izzie, let Emergency know we're on our way." "Seven weeks." "I'm pregnant, Izzie." "Izzie, I'm pregnant." "Uh, OK." "No, we're going to pre-op instead." "Find Addison Shepherd." "And, Izzie, be discreet." "So I'm leaving in the morning." " No." " Excuse me?" "No, I'm not accepting your resignation." "It's not a resignation, it's notification." "I don't officially work for you." "I came here for one case." "I can track the twins' progress from New York." " What about the preemie?" " I'm letting it go." "You know that." "He calls me Satan, Richard." " You don't like to hide from a fight." " No fight." "He wins." "I'm leaving in the morning." " What is it, O'Malley?" " It's Dr. Grey, sir." "Ellis." "CT confirmed diverticulitis, but a liver mass was also found." "My God." "Poor Meredith." "As if Alzheimer's wasn't bad enough." "Now her mother has liver cancer." "You won't know that it's cancer until you do a biopsy." "Right." "Sorry." "Excuse me, Dr. Shepherd, we need you." "Fast." "Um, It's Cristina." "One of our interns, she's... she's collapsed." "Cristina's collapsed?" "Why do you need me?" " Cristina's pregnant?" " Shut up, George!" "Please come." "This doesn't change anything, Richard." "I'm still leaving in the morning." "This is a very bad day." "OK, Dr. Karev, if we're going to stop her blushing, we have to expose the sympathetic ganglion chain, which resides where?" " It's time to clear me for surgery." " What?" " I know you heard me." " I'm a little busy." "We'll talk later." "Just give a verbal OK" " and we can do the paperwork later." " I cannot do that." "I'm chief of surgery." "This is not a request." "With respect, in this case, I'm not your subordinate, I'm your doctor." "One week after brain surgery, you are not ready for surgery." "It's a simple procedure." "A needle biopsy." "A resident could do it." "So let a resident do it." "What am I missing here?" "It's for my mother, isn't it?" "You think she has cancer?" "George needs your signature." "Look, Richard, I know she's your friend." "But I'm not clearing you for surgery." "What's her total bill?" "It's actually only four." "It's not great, but it's not terrible." "That's why I didn't see the jaundice." "No one could." "We just have to wait and see." "What aren't you telling me?" "It's Cristina." "[Addison] Have you notified the father?" "[Bailey] Cristina?" "Cristina?" "Cristina?" "Cristina?" "Is there anyone we can call?" " We're losing her." " Can you see that?" "It was an extrauterine pregnancy." "The tube burst." "She's bleeding out." "Good, you're finished." "Look, I need you to do a needle biopsy." "I've got to go check on..." "There's someone I need to see about." "An intern collapsed in the middle of surgery, so if it can wait..." "No, I need you to do a needle biopsy now." "Chief, now is not the time." "I am not in the mood for a debate." "You understand?" "You'll do it because I asked you to." "Because I need you to." "It's Ellis Grey." "[PA] Dr, Cohen to Pediatrics, Dr, Cohen to Pediatrics," "She's going to be OK." "Right?" "How attached was she to this pregnancy?" "I don't know." "She's a pretty private person." "She's lost a lot of blood, but I've got it from here." "Dr. Bailey?" "You must have a surgery or two of your own today?" "I'm fine right here." "Can you do the follow-up?" "I'll check on Cristina." "Yeah." "You know what's wrong with her?" " Don't." " Sorry." "Don't be sorry." "I'm so tired of you being sorry." "Don't do it." " Dr. Grey..." " Dr. Grey?" "Seriously?" "Are you concerned about Alex finding out about us?" "Is that what matters to you?" "Do you really think he cares?" "Alex, do you care that I was the intern stupid enough" " to screw the married attending?" " No." " Meredith, it's OK." " It's not OK!" "You have a wife." "Who is not easy to hate." "Who's annoyingly kind and painfully smart," " and currently saving my friend's life." " Meredith." "Will you just..." "Don't!" "Stop talking to me like you're my boyfriend." "Stop talking to me at all." "Dude." "That was rough." " You need something?" " I'm coming in." " No, you're not." " I am." "I'm her friend." "Exactly." "She's lying on the operating table." "Naked and exposed." "She's sedated, but she's probably scared out of her mind." "Right now, she's not your friend." "She's a patient who deserves to have all the privacy I can give her." "You're not going in there." "We went jogging this morning." "I made her go jogging." "There's no way that could have..." "No." "No." "It started out this way." "Nothing caused it to happen." "You have to let me in there." "You can try, but I'll have take you down." "Hey, I may be short but you're pretty tiny." "I could do it." "Right now, just in this moment, I hate you." "Yeah, well, I can take it." "Dr. Grey, we're going to put you to sleep for a little while, but I promise we'll have you back into surgery in no time." "Richard." "Thank God you're here." "You beautiful man." "That husband of mine has been making me crazy." "[# Inara George:" "Fools In Love]" "[Steady beeping]" "Look at that." "BP's stabilizing." "[Derek] Well, she's stronger since this morning." "There's no reason in the world why she should be stronger since this morning." "She's really beautiful, isn't she?" "Tell you what." "If she makes it through the night and she has a little bit more strength, we'll operate." "You know, the way I see it, we could deal with us in one of three ways." "Option one, I could apologize, you could forgive me and come home and we could move on with our lives like adults." "Or, option two," "I could apologize, you could forgive me, come home, but you can still bring it up to use against me whenever we argue." "Are you trying to be funny?" "Satan has a sense of humor." "What's the third?" "I don't know what the third option is." "I just know I still love you." "Tell them the chief said to put a rush on this biopsy" " and tell them it's Ellis Grey." " OK." "Dr. Burke, do you want the histologic grade and staging" " or any specific stains?" " Have them run all tests." "OK." "[Weakly] What happened?" "You had an extrauterine pregnancy." "Your left fallopian tube burst." "Dr. Shepherd... she did everything she could, but there was too much damage." "She couldn't save the tube." "[Beeping]" " Hey." " Hey." " Is it over?" " Mm-hm." "The surgery was successful." "We're just doing a follow-up." "Dr. Shepherd will be in to check on you in a while." " Say that again." " What?" "Say his name." "Dr. Shepherd..." "Oh my God, look at my face." "Dr. Shepherd." "Dr. Shepherd." "Guess it was worth the risk." "I still think it's nuts having major surgery just so people can't tell how you're feeling." " Really?" "You do?" " Nah, I guess not." "You can talk, you know." "I mean, if you need to." "I'm fine." "You've said that word so many times today, it doesn't even sound like a word anymore." "I'm just saying you can talk to me." "Even if I repeat every word, no one here likes me, they'd just call me a liar." "Izzie likes you." " You're blushing." " Shut up." "Look, for what it's worth, I don't know how you're still on your feet." "If I found out my mom might have cancer, I'd be under the bar right now." "You want the ugly truth?" "You have an ugly truth?" "I never would have picked you to have an ugly truth." "I'm more afraid she doesn't have cancer." "Well, liver cancer's fast." "Painful, but it's fast and they give you morphine." "They don't give you morphine for Alzheimer's." "No, they don't." "What kind of person wishes their mother had cancer?" "It's hard." "I know it's hard being the one who's gone." "But, man, it isn't easy being the one who's still around." "Hey." "Did you get your mom's biopsy results back?" " Not yet." " How's Cristina?" "She's going to have a lot of pain for a few days, but she'll be OK." "I'm glad you were there." " Are you?" " Yes." "I am." "It's just..." "It's just that a lot of the time, it feels like you and Cristina are kind of over there and I'm here." " So about Alex." " Yeah, I know." "I know, you guys hate him." "Fine." "[George snores]" "Yeah, we do, but I just want to say that I believe you." "That he's different once you get to know him." "Here you go." "Ellis Grey." "Let her know." "Meredith, are you OK?" "No." "I'm not OK." "Dr. Grey?" "Oh, please, Thatcher." "I've had a long day." "I'm tired." "Go away." "No!" " What?" " No." "I am Thatcher Grey." "And I'm your husband." "And I know you don't like me very much, but the fact is I don't always like you very much either." "I don't like the way you speak to me." "And I really hate the way you speak to Meredith." "She deserves better from you." "I'm sorry." " You are?" " What's wrong with me, Thatch?" " The mass on your liver..." " Is it algebra?" "I mean, is it algeb..." "Damn it!" "Is it malignant?" "No." "It's benign." "Meredith?" " Meredith..." " Don't." "Please, please just don't say anything." "OK." "I'm just exhausted." "My mother is exhausting." "What happened to Cristina." "And you." "Hating you is the most exhausting." "I don't want to do it anymore." "[Meredith] No one likes to lose control," "But as a surgeon, there's nothing worse," "It's a sign of weakness," "Of not being up to the task," "How can someone be so offensive and yet so charming all at the same time?" "It's an art form." "[Meredith] And still, there are times when it just gets away from you," "When the world stops spinning and you realize that your shiny little scalpel isn 't gonna save you," "We went in expecting to simply remove the tumor." "Instead it was a little more complicated." "The tumor infiltrated into the pericardium, causing a tear in the outer muscle of the heart." "That's a lot of medical talk." "It means, uh... [clears throat]" "It means that you had a broken heart." "Literally." "But now I'm..." "But now you're going to be fine." "[Meredith] No matter how hard you fight it, you fall," "And it's scary as hell," "Except, if there's an upside to free falling, it's the chance you give your friends to catch you,"