"I can't believe we're doing this in a patient's room." "It's about to get hotter." "Yyyyes!" " Turk, you are full of surprises." " Isn't he though?" "And what are you doing here?" " He's here to kill you." " Kill me?" "Elliott won't let you get away with it." "Sure I will." "Turk's letting me raise Izzy." "I'll finally have a baby!" "And I can spend the rest of my life with Turk, touring the world's greatest waterparks." "Elliott, ready." "[KILL CARLA]" "Clear!" "Noooooooo!" " That is a weird dream." " Yeah, I don't even like waterparks." "I mean, I did, until someone thought it'd be funny to get down the slide 2 secs after me." " Dude, the lifeguard told me to go." " Really?" "Did he also tell you to take your trunks off, Turk?" "Because the last thing a guy wants to see when he's in a splashpool, is your best friend's junk headed towards me at 40 mph." "Felt like I got pistol-whipped." "Look, what was weird about this dream, was that it was in English." "I always dream in Spanish!" "Baby, dreams have nothing to do with reality." "Hey, welcome with little Elliott." "What?" "We saw Izzy hates it, down at daycare." "They doodoo down there?" "You wanna tell me..." "Elliott wasn't the only one trying to steal babies from the hospital." "Hey!" "Don't steal those babies!" "Why do you call these babies?" "It could be that when I was a kid I didn't have any toys." "Sure, sure." "Yeah." "I used to make my own toys." "As a matter of fact, I would take the toilet paper rolls, and draw little faces on 'em, and... name 'em." "I surrounded myself with them hoping they would protect me." "I, uhm, went up to the side of the road and try to sell'em one time, make a little money on my own, you know." "But... no one bought any, and when I came back home Yvonne was gone." "You know how you and I don't talk so much?" "If you're wondering whether or not that makes me happy or sad, it makes me happy." "You love being Angie, don't ya?" "I do!" "Oh, missed the spot." "Sad for you!" "Ah, fresh pill of the day!" "You just can't seem to get along with anybody, can't you?" "Life is so much easier, if you just connect with people." "Watch and learn." "Colonel Doctor, I'm loving those new frames." "Oh, Snoop Dogg attending!" "Then my ho's hot...." "Oh, hey." "What are you doing to that thing?" "It's fluffy." "I wanna like... rub my fingers in!" "You see?" "I connect with them." "Unlike you, I'm a man of the people." "Hey, Teddy!" "Looking bald and sweaty!" "Putting my smile away." "And down with the day." "Yeah, that looks like a healthy bone." " Speaking of healthy bones..." " Perry..." "One sec, ma'am." "I've got one in my pants." "He's all yours." "We'll go with this later." "Thanks." " What have you been doing all day?" " Right up until this very moment," "I've been successfully avoiding you." "I came to tell you I'm taking the kids to my mother's for the weekend." "And seeing that you're not allowed to it within 40 feet of our house..." " "The restraining order"!" " Chirstmas memories!" "Anywho, you're staying here." "I'm gonna leave you alone, to celebrate." "People!" "I expect full partecipation." "Woooo!" "Woooooooooo!" " Oh please!" " Oh come on!" "Fine." "Wooooooooo!" "I run down here so I can do twice." "If they do this an all sporting event, I'm gonna start going." "Ehhhhhhhhh!" "Itasa Scrubs Team Proudly Presents" "Scrubs Season 07 Episode 04 My Identitiy Crisis VO Subtitles" "Transcript:" "Teorouge, Jdsclone, gi0v3, matters, Supersimo" "Sync, revision: gi0v3" "Check out my little african princess!" "Izzieee!" "Tu sabes que tu eres el amor de mi vida!" "Baby, when I'm not around, do you want to speak spanish to Izzie?" "'Cause" "You know I don't understand that." " Relax Turk, I speak both to her." " Good." " Mhh." "Honey, I gotta go to work." " Ok, say goodbye to daddy." "Now, when he comes back, the three of us cenaremos juntos y te daremos un baneto bien tibio." " before we put you down to bed." " Forgot my keys!" "And then mommy will sing you a lullaby just like her mommy used to do... cuando yo ero una nina y gozaremos muchisimo..." "Te gusta?" "Oh..." "Hola, Carla." "As I say Hello, right?" "I'll be back." "Well, the cars's here, for some reason it was half an hour early." "Nooo, that was me." "You know, you're gonna miss me more than I miss you." "Oh please, I don't need those four pounds of makeup and, quarter inches of synthetically paralyzed skin." "There is a fight little drunkgirl but I can already hear blubbering on the phone..." "Oh..." "Pe... rry..." "I... miss..." "You..." "So..." "Ahhhh!" "This is you: (whining) "Oh Jordan, please come home..." "Please!"" " Ahhhh!" " Uhhhh!" " Ahhhhh!" " Ahhhh!" "See?" "This is why we're a great couple." "Bag!" " Bet you call me before I call you, you pathetic wuss!" "You're on!" "Ah!" "Alone for the weekend." "Wonder what he's gonna do." " Hi Perry!" " No, no you can't... get out!" " Well, I tought could be fun." " No." " He said no." " But you told me..." "Soon few it'd say yes, I..." "I did not invite the Todd." "Fellas, why you wear such giant underwear?" "Sometimes, you just gotta say:" "What the fudge." " That's not the line." " I saw it on a plane." "Can I have one of these babies?" " Why do you call'em babies?" " Don't know, always have." "I like you, Shirley." "You know something?" "You look just like a nurse that used to work here, named Laverne." " Doesn't she?" " No." "Oh yes, she does." "I feel like I'm looking at Laverne again." "You just got yourself a new nickname, Missy." "See you in a bit, Lavern-again." "Lavernagain!" "Baby, you can't just speak spanish to my little african princess." "She's not your little african princess." "She's our little half african, half latina princess." "Baby, that's a little weirdy." "Here we go." "Carla and Turk are at it again." "My mother taught me how important my heritage is" "I would do the same for Izzie, and speaking spanish is a huge part of that." "Just a matter of time before they rope me in." "Plus, I wanna take to the homeland." "Any second now..." "Baby you're from Chigago." "Just get her a deep-dish pizza." "Know what?" "Why don't you get me a deep dish pizza?" "With onions and sausage?" "Here it comes." "Turk, I was referring to the Dominican Republic, and if you say: isn't that where I bought my wrinkle-free cheenos, I'm gonna kill you." "Where are your ancestors from?" " The motherland?" " You don't even know." "And now, a gentle throat clear, to let them know I'm ready to speak." "Ah-Uhm!" "JD, drink some water." " Go to hell Bob." " I didn't even say anything." "There nowher else to sit, so you can drop the scary stare, doesn't work on me anymore." "Kickin' me under the table's not gonna make me leave either." "I did it." "You talk too much." "Say it Bob." "Sorry about that "Go to hell" thing earlier." "We're cool." "You're just pissy because Jordan left." "I'mean, I'm in the same boat." "Ever since I broke up my engagement I live all alone in a big empty house." "Hell, Bob here is living at the hospital beacuse Enid kicked him out." "Did she just call me Bob?" "I would kick her again." "We're like the "Lonely hearts' table"." "No." "No, actually that's the "Lonely hearts' table"." "Who are you?" "Who-who!" "Who-who!" "Ok!" "We'll never win the "A Cappella Pulitzer" performing like that." "And if we don't win there's no chance of us getting laid at the after party." "Barbie." "P-lease stop lumping us in together." "Tomorrow is my day off and I'm joyous to have my place all to myself." "You see, I'm a lot of things." "I'm a scorpio, a registered indipendent, a foodie, a parrothead, yes I do love that Jimmy Buffer though he's have, all his will, a leg man..." " A right bastard." " Thank you, Bob." "But I can assure you the one thing I am not is..." "Straight?" "Audience participation is now over." "The one thing I'm not is lonely." "Capisc'?" "Hey." "You should know that new nurse hates the stupid nickname you gave her." ""Lavernagain"?" "No way!" "I hate it." "Well, you might hate it now, Lavernagain, but once you've heard it a few times, you're gonna love it." "Lavernagain." "You're such a man of the people." "D'you even know anybody's real name?" "Of course I do." " Why the people keep hiding behind you?" " Challenge." "What's the real name?" "Well, she never told me her real name." "I like Lavernagain." "And, Snoop I..." "I'd hoped you'd really change your name, that's..." "That's never again around of that?" "Okay." "Ah." "Colonel I have to pass on you." "Okay." "You can get this one." "I know it's just like Beardface but not Beardface." "What is it?" "Oh, right!" "Beardmouth." "It's Beardface', damn it!" "Man of the people indeed." "It's always surprising to learn how people close to you really feel." "How can you know nothing about your own background?" "Baby, what do you want me to say?" "It just doesn't mean that much to me." "Still the only person's feelings you can truly hope to know are your own." "Daddy, mommy says you once peed in the garden." "Guilty!" "Hey Perry." "This isn't "come in to me" coin." "It does so?" "Cause I made your dial and you and I din't speak." "I just want to tell you I've decided to stay here for the week." "Bye!" "Of course, sometimes a phone call changes everything." "The obvious way to beat loneliness is with the company of others." "Hey Tedsky!" "Can I..." "Can I maybe help you, here?" " Really?" " That's really a lot of files." " Thanks!" " No problemo." "Oh." "It only gets complicated if you don't want others to see that you're vulnerable." "So, I've heard Jordan's staying away the whole week down?" "Uh..." "Yeah, we're being texting each other a lot since we both find out we're nervous pooers." "I turned her on to one soundproofer so talented, even someone with the ear to your door, can't hear when you fluffy." "Interesting." "Tell you what." "When she gets back you two other think about having a crazy off." "I'm gonna text her that you said that." "Goodness Gracious Ted, I'm- I'm sure sorry about that." "It's okay, I'm used to it." "Say Ted..." "These..." "These are all just blank pieces of white paper?" "Shhhhh!" "I need to look busy!" "Hello, tall, dark and... whatever?" " Handsome." " No" "Well done, "Dr. John I think I am a man of the people but now thanks to the janitor everyone knows I'm a fraud now I have egg on my face Dorian"." "That's your clever new nickname!" "Oh my God!" "You finally have a nickname!" "I can admit when I'm wrong, so..." "Challenge!" "I will learn everyone in the hospital's real name, by the end of the day." "You are gonna learn 310 names in one day." "Hey, the night before my anatomy final I got drunk of peppermint shnapps, 'cause Turk told me it was a special new mouthwash, could swallow." "And after I was done crying and dry heaving and lying in a fetal position," "I still managed to memorize all 216 bones in the human body." "There's only 206 bones in the human body." "Well, it appears I learned ten more than I needed to." "So, how about a little wager?" "If I win, you have to do my job for a day." "And if I win?" "I'll do my job for a day." "How's that fair?" "I'll actually do my job for a day!" "Ohh!" "Deal!" "D'ya know how?" "It's been a while..." "I can do it." "Well..." "You look like you could use some help." "I'm ok." "Actually, I'm just looking for Carla." "Anyone need any... help?" "Me!" "I need help!" "You get the hell out of the way." "Hi." "Help." "Ok, Dr. John" " I think I'm a man of the people, but now, thanks to the janitor, everybody knows I'm a fraud and I've egg on my face" " Dorian." "Very funny." "Perfect." "Pretend you hate that nick name so it'll stick." " Who is this?" " He is a doctor..." "I think it's Patrick or Paul..." "It's Gwen." "Although she does have a mean case of men face." "Dr Cox, I just wantna throw this out there, it feels good to be your student again." "Take that back, or I'm going to shelve everyone of these polaroids down your throat." "Back to best friends it is." "You know what you should use?" "Mnemonic devices." "Associate the person's name with something about them." "I do it all of the time." "Like... this guy." "Look... at him." "Now, There's no way he's ever going to make love to a woman, unless that woman is dead." "And "dead" rhymes with "Ted"." "Ted." "That's how most people remember it." "And what were your mnemonic device for remembering my name?" "Do you really wanna know?" " Do i?" " No." "I knew it." "Look at how much you don't want to be alone." "You're actually open at the guy who you claim annoys you the most." "Elliot it's been 7 years." "I think we all know I don't annoy him." "Ok, you're in it, now." "Go for broke." "Heck, I bet that Perry would admit that I'm not just a collegue, I'm a friend." "And arm around him..." "Oh, my God!" "Is this what heaven's like?" "Yep." "Just... helping out a friend." "There is nothing to do with me being lonely." "Hey, wait a second." "Isn't today your day-off?" "Hey, baby." "You know somehing?" "You're absolutely right." "I do need to learn more about my heritee, so I called my mom, and she said somehow, distantly, I'm releated to the guy who invented peanuts." "Turk, that's George Washington Carver." "He didn't invent peanuts, he just thought up uses for them." "I'm talking about the little phone packaging peanuts." "How dumb do you think I am?" "Baby!" "You... just don't get what's really bothering me so..." "A couple of days ago you dreamed in english." "Three years of marriage and I'm starting to pay attention." "I feel like I'm losing all connections to who makes me me, you know?" "My best friend is a very very white girl from Connecticut." "If who I am keeps slipping away from me, how would I ever be able to pass it on to Izzie?" "It's bad enough then when people look at my doughter, they only see your little african princess." "They think she's black, not half black and half latina." " That's not true." " Oh, really?" "Watch." "Sir?" "What race would you say this baby is?" "Oh..." "Half black, half latina..." "most likely dominican origin..." "Than again, I am the new hospital geneticist." "That's just bad luck, baby." "Oh my God." "What the hell is wrong with me?" "I used to be an Idle." "I didn't need anybody." "Now I can't function for a week, without Jordan and the kids." "Well, luckily, you have a lot of very close special friends to help you through this." " JD, stop it." " No, you stop it!" "I'm sorry you had to see me like that." "Mostly, God, I..." "I feel like I'm losing track of my identity." "And just like that, a lot of people found themselves asking the same question:" "This one's for the ladies." "* Who are you?" "*" "* Who who?" "Who who?" "*" "* I really wanna know *" "* Who are you?" "*" "Who am I?" "* Who are you?" "!" "*" "Who am I?" "* Who... are you..." "You!" "* * Are you... who the fudge are.. *" "Who the hell is that?" "It's Skip, the gynecologist." "Are you honestly whining because you feel attached to your wife and kids?" "I like the way I was." "Uh, you've been a giant jackass that nobody can stand to be around for more than 20 seconds." " Yes, I love that guy." " Me too." "Well, guess what... you're still him." "Only, now when you go home there's actually people there that are happy to see you." "Probably 'cause they don't know any better." " That won't end well for you." " Ok..." "Buddy." "What is so funny?" "I just think it's hilarious that you think you can stop being a proud lat woman." "Baby, all your ringtones are bachata music." "You're the only nurse in this hospital who demands that any doctor who wants a big favor has to ask you in spanish." "Si, es lo mas mulesto." "So we got a daughter, and our life is moving out to really really fast pace, but baby..." "You're always gonna be a latina with an outside-down exclamation point." "You promise?" "Mas... mas." "Aaand... action." "All right." "He looks like a serial killer, which is a kind of cereal i'd want to stay away from, like "All Bran"." " Brandon." " Hmm." "Correct." "Ok, Snoop Dogg Attending." "I saw him without his pants on, and he has crazy skinny legs, like french fries" "French fries are sold at McDonald's, whose founder is Ronald McDonald..." "Ronald." "You saw him without his pant on, Wats?" "That's popcorn magnate Orville Reddenbacher." "Yes." "We all wanto to be appreciated for our unique identities." "¿Matarme?" "Elliot no te lo permitira'." "Seguro que lo hare." "Turk me deja criar a Izzy." "Finalmente tendre' un bebe'." "Y puedo passar el resto de mi vida con el Turk, corriendo todos los melhoras waterparks del mondo. ¡Liste, Elliot!" "MATACARLA" "¡Despejate!" "Naaaaaaaaah!" "Bad dream, baby?" "No..." "It was a great dream." "What are you listening to?" "Some boring medical lecture..." "go back to sleep." "But bone we decide to change who we are, for someone we love..." "Cuando es?" " What time is it?" "Cuando es... we can surprise even ourselves with who we've become." "Right, Jordan, you win." "I miss you guys." "I miss you too, daddy." "Jordan, wold you..." "like to say the same thing?" " I would not." " She would not." "We'll call you tomorrow... will we?" " No." " No." "Colonel Doctor." "I call him that because he looks like a freaky Kentucky Fried Chicken guy." "KFC makes Cole Slaw..." "Colman Slosky." "Incidentally my favourite name ever." "That's correct, but you also lost the bet." " What are you talking about?" "I won." " No." "Aah." " That's not fair, nobody knows your name." " Ha ha!" "You know what that means?" " Aye." "You win." " Yep." "And you know what that means?" "It's like this ammonia is... sipping into my brain, and making me violent, and angry, and hateful." "Yep." "That's how it starts." " What the hell are you looking at?" " Nice..." "Good."