"Man:" "Back from the part of Virginia" "I was from, you know, real rural, coal mining..." "You didn't get to experience much in the way of culture." "It was really quiet and easy living, but you just had nothing to experience." "When something like the internet came along, it really changed things and opened things up a lot." "If you can't be there, you can at least see it or read about it." "Hey!" "Hey!" "I need the phone." "Man:" "It was just..." "Different perspectives and..." "And whole different outlooks on life." "[ Crickets chirping ] Over several years of talking to people online, there was some of 'em that actually helped me out, told me, "why don't you move out this way?" "There'll be more opportunities for you."" "[ Wings fluttering ] They decided to send me some money..." "And basically just said, "move"." "I was elated, and at the same time, terrified." "Mom, I'm going away for a while." "I'm going to be going to, uh, Washington." "Man:" "I could see that it bothered her, that I would be moving so far away." "But at the same time, she was really supportive." "Woman:" "The first call we got was in the afternoon." "I remember it clearly." "It seemed so..." "Strange to get that particular type of call on that day." "We don't get a lot of sun here in the Pacific Northwest..." "So you notice it when it's a nice, sunny day." "It makes you very happy." "And that particular call made me very unhappy." "So, at some point, I said, "is this a bestiality case?" "Is that what you're trying to tell me?"" "And he said, "yes"." "And I said, "so what do you need us to do?"" "[ Horse whickering ] Coyote:" "Before I even had the concept of being zoo," "I'd had a feeling that a traditional family life was something that I would never do." "I don't need a high level of emotional interaction..." "Whether it be human or otherwise." "I function fine, I think." "You could probably ask three zoos and get three different definitions." "I guess the main thing would be someone that feels they have a whole lot closer affinity to non-human animals than their own kind." "It doesn't necessarily exclude caring for fellow humans and friends in the same way." "Man:" "We talk to quite a few people all over the world via the internet." "Unfortunately, most of the people that were part of our little group were white." "But we did have quite a few other friends who are black." "There was a Hispanic that came out to visit once." "Actually, a couple times." "I talked to people out of Poland and Germany and Japan." "I even talked to soldiers that are currently in Iraq." "This gives them a chance to kind of connect back with the old world that they knew back here..." "Even if it's the same old world that sent them over there to survive that environment." "Man:" "I worked for the same guy since I was 23." "He's a member of the National Horse Association." "He had some top-quality show Arabs." "I did the maintenance." "I got paid good." "Clean the stalls." "His tractor would break down or..." "Manure spreader would break down or something like that." "He was gone all the time." "He was going back and forth from the West Coast to the East Coast, because he was building a new home and a ranch there." "If you could grab all the mail and put it in there, I'd appreciate it." "Also keep the horse..." "H:" "They were my so-called friends for 20-some years." "If there's anything else, our cell phones will be on, so..." "H:" "When this broke loose, the last thing he said to me, he told me I was a very bad person." "We were friends for all those years and all of a sudden I'm no good just because I love the horses? Coyote:" "On the bus, I've spent a lot of time in thought." "Why am I this way?" "There has to be a purpose." "That part, I don't know yet." "Trying to balance religion and being zoo..." "A lot of that is faith." "Growing up Baptist in a fairly religious household..." "I held certain beliefs to my heart." "God doesn't hate anyone." "You treat your fellow man right." "You don't hurt other people." "And for the most part, you'll..." "You'll be okay." "H:" "I always treated my animals as part of my family." "They ate before I did." "Look at the videos that they took of the horses." "Did they look neglected?" "No." "It's the love of animals." "That's what zoophilia is." "It's just like if you love your wife or your kids." "It's the same thing." "I took better care of my animals than I ever did care for myself." "Look at me." "I'm..." "Here I am, going to be 53." "Jenny:" "When I had a bout with cancer and felt really, really badly," "There were many nights that I went down and spent with my horse." "It's just a very comforting feeling." "They do this little soft, blow-y thing." "And they know that you're there." "And the time passes so fast." "The night is over before you know it." "I could go down there and just hang on her." "She was my strength." "She was my legs." "She was my heart that wouldn't beat right, and I could just cry and talk and hang out." "It was exactly what I needed at the time." "H:" "See, I grew up in the city." "I'm a city boy." "And I always wanted to be a farmer." "Well, the job gave me what I wanted." "As I say, I started when I was 16, right after my mom died." "Some reason, it just happened one day, and I kind of liked it." "I didn't even know it was zoophilia until I got on the internet." "I've been on the internet since 2002." "That's the first time, ever." "I had AOL to start with." "It was really interesting to meet all these different people." "And to this day, they're still friends of mine." "There was never any money changed hands." " Hey, what's up, fellas?" " Hey, there." " How's it going?" " It's going all right." "How you guys doing?" "H:" "There was people offered me money." "Oh, I'm just going into the country for a while." "You should go to Pioneer Square." "It's going to be crazy, man." " Oh, maybe." "Next time, right?" " Be safe." "H:" "No, I wouldn't accept money from anybody, because then it's prostitution." "That's against the law." "I knew that bestiality wasn't illegal in the State of Washington." "A lot of the times they just want to come out and see." ""We want to see if it's possible."" "Man:" "[ Speaking in foreign language ]" "H:" ""Maybe I just want to grab a horse by his nuts and to feel his balls." "How do they feel?"" ""They're, well, they..." "They're warm."" "The horse is still the biggest thing out there on the internet." "I'd invite them to my home, you know, and I'd treat them like any other person that was in my house." "I did summertime barbecues." "Thanksgiving." "I'd do Christmas dinners." "One year, we did a turkey and a ham." "The invite was on a weekend and in the evening. [ Phone ringing ]" "Hello?" "Woman: [ On telephone ] Hey, we're here." "Well, how was your flight?" "Woman:" "The flight was long, but we're fine." "Right now we're getting..." "H:" "A Friday night, we'd meet and if I felt like it was okay for you to come out, I'd let you follow me home." "If I felt like there was something about you that I didn't like," "I'd say, "we'll meet again", and I'd never meet with them again." ""We don't do this right off the bat." "Sorry."" "When I met Mr. Hands, we did talk on the phone a little bit." "And that's when he lived in Seattle." "He was basically curious, like everybody was curious." "And he had a good personality." "So I invited him out." "Coyote:" "I was just astounded at the beauty." "You have that wildness, but then you have civilization too." "They're just kind of meshed together." "Happy Horseman:" "Us humans are so conditioned from the time we are born to start categorizing." "And even if they're unconscious, or even subconscious, we start categorizing." "Animals just not going to do that." "Flight attendant:" "We'll be landing in Seattle in just..." "Happy Horseman:" "You're either a good person or a bad person." "Woman: [ On radio ] ...The biggest of all munitions companies," "Lockheed Martin Corporation, playing an important behind-the-scenes role in developing support for Bush's war with Iraq." "Man: [ On radio ] Yes, they did." "They played a very influential role in, uh..." "In various organizations that looked like they were simply public interest, public education organizations, but which had long advocated a war with Iraq ever since the 1991, uh, the first war with Iraq." "It's been to their..." "That is, war is the business." "What I mean when I say it's not private enterprise, is that it's much more like state socialism." "You have only one customer." "The customer is not particularly interested in getting the best possible use of his money." "He's much more interested in simply..." "Getting the contracts filled." "Moreover, there is a huge circulation of elites today in the sense that most of the operating positions, appointed positions in the Pentagon today, are executives from the military-industrial complex." "Whereas, by contrast, any number of the high officials in these companies are retired high-ranking American military officers." "Woman: [ On radio ] Well, I want to thank you for being with us, Chalmers Johnson." "His piece appears in this month's... "Harper's"." "It's called "War Business:" "Squeezing a Profit from the Wreckage in Iraq"," "As well as David Bacon whose piece appears in "Progressive" magazine." "Chalmers Johnson's piece ends: "this is the future when war becomes the most profitable..." H:" "I'd get about 8 or 10, 15 people at the house." "Big party, watch movies, play games." "Happy Horseman:" "Kind of a potluck supper kind of thing." "Some people would bring over some beans or chips and a meat entree or something." "And of course, lots of beer." "And once in a while there was a few mixed drinks." "It was kind of fun, throwing all kinds of stuff into the blender and churning out things that kind of had a slushy flavour to them, that about six or seven of them would knock you on your ass." "You can only put so many bottles of rum in some of this stuff." "There was no special flashy..." "Nothing going on that was all that strange and unusual." "I mean, this goes on in hundreds and thousands of places all over the country." "Age was never really all that important." "As long as you were old enough to drink, you weren't senile and could talk coherently, conversation would always ensue." "Do you wear boxers or a thong?" "[ Laughter ]" "Happy Horseman:" "It was pretty much a classless society of our own little small world." "No one had any kind of different statuses and who was this and who was that." "There was no alphas and omegas and betas running around anywhere." "Coyote:" "Being able to get away, just let everything hang." "Anything I can bring up or want to talk about, it didn't matter what was on my mind, these were people I could trust." "I could just let my hair down and not have to worry about things. H:" "There was things in him that he really didn't want people to know." "He wouldn't tell you." "He wouldn't tell you the truth." "It took me a long time to find out his real name." "And it was about a year before I knew Mr. Hands' real name." "It was just always Mr. Hands." ""I go by Mr. Hands."" "Man: [ On television ] Okay, Jim, it was quite a ride," "But we got it done." "Roger." "You're five-by, Jim, and we're sailing free." "Coyote:" "The flag and stuff that they put on the moon and it looks like it's waving in the breeze, what do you know?" "Of course, there's no atmosphere on the moon at all." "H:" "People would come out, and we'd walk out into the barn and I'd show them my horses and I'd show my bulls, and they'd ask me different questions about them." "I'd tell them what this was and what that was." ""How come his legs look like that?"" ""It's because he's resting."" "It wasn't the fanciest place in the world." "It had cows in it, so there was crap all over the floors." "There was horseshit all over the floors." "The horses would come in and out, and the bulls would come in and out." "And it was just, like, "hey, let's go out to the barn and pester the animals"." ""Well, there they are." "Go ahead."" ""Just be careful, because if you stand too long in one place," "It's going to happen."" "If you just stand there, they'll walk up behind you and put their head on your shoulder and talk to you." "They're going to pick up that pheromone that your body's putting off, and they're going to mount you." "If you don't move, you're bred..." "[ Chuckling ]" "And I mean bred." "There was times that people'd come over expecting it, and no, it never happened." "Jenny:" "We had one horse that we called Chance when we brought him in." "He was blind." "And he was in this area where it was just nothing but blackberry bushes, so he kept poking himself in the eye." "We ultimately had to remove both of his eyes, because he had re-injured himself so many times trying to forage for food." "I mean, it touched all of us very deeply." "When we took that horse to the veterinary hospital, we were advised to put him down." "But our feeling and our experience has been that just because it has a problem like blindness, that's not a good enough reason to just end their life." "[ Airplane roaring ]" "Man: [ On radio ] One of the things we found fascinating about the story is that the news media in the Puget Sound would not reveal the name of the victim." "We believe we have the name of that man." "We talked to somebody who worked with this guy." "We talked to someone who got a memo at work about the death of this guy." "We talked to people who told us that..." "Federal employees were coming in saying this name was never, ever, ever to be given out." "Woman:" "My name is Pam Roach, and I'm the State Senator that covers the area of Enumclaw and all the lovely area on the Enumclaw Plateau." "It's a beautiful area, as you can see." "There are a lot of farms, a lot of people that love to have animals on these farms, and a great place to raise children." "I could never believe that an animal would do this on their own." "We don't allow adults to abuse children sexually." "Children cannot consent." "Children are innocent, and so are animals." "They cannot consent, and they're innocent." "Mrs. Edwards." "Ready to rescue those horses?" "Happy Horseman:" "This is a nice little town." "It's not the big city." "You don't have to deal with the hustle, the bustle, and the crime rate." "Mostly you see in the paper, somebody's trashcan gets knocked over, or the drunk next-door neighbour comes over and pissing on their tires." "It was not a town that had a whole lot going on in it." "It was quiet." "There was a couple Chinese food restaurants." "There was a Mexican food restaurant we'd go to quite a bit." "Quite a few different places to go eat at." "You know, we're not isolated out there." "We liked the rural setting but you're not, you know, dropped in the middle of nowhere. H:" "Him and his ex-wife got along really well." "He talked to her on the phone all the time." "She seemed like a nice girl." "Since the divorce, they had gotten to be best of friends." "They were still friends up until the day he died." "Happy Horseman:" "The type of work he did was basically top secret." "H:" "I knew what he did." "I knew exactly what he did and how he went about doing it, but..." "It was just something that we'd discuss that was never to be talked about." "Happy Horseman:" "I think at one time he was very conservative." "After a while things started changing." "Things started opening up in front of him." "He was going, "you know, this really doesn't seem right to me." "Something about this just is..." "Kind of wrong." H:" "I had a, uh, apple tree..." "Fir tree and a weeping willow." "And otherwise it was all open pasture, all open field." "Happy Horseman:" "Occasionally, there'd be some discussion on some constitutional issues of basic freedoms being usurped by certain political parties who thought that they needed to control the morality of the world, and they didn't care exactly how they got to do it. H:" "When it'd come to work, he was all business." "When he'd come out to the farm, he was a completely different person." "He'd be relaxed." "He was comfortable." "Jenny:" "They were here during that time for the son to visit his father." "Woman: [ On P.A. ] Flight number 324 to Seattle will be leaving gate 26A..." "Jenny:" "You know, here they had come all this way to have this sort of normal family vacation." "About halfway through their vacation..." "The death happened." "H:" "I called him at work and I said, "are you going to come out tonight?"" "He goes, "no, but I'll be out next weekend"." "I said, "oh, no, you gotta come out tonight." "There's somebody here that wants to meet you."" "And we argued a little bit over the phone, and I finally got him to come out." "Well, that was my downfall." "Just irritates me thinking about it." "Turn this thing off..." "Please." "Happy Horseman:" "You're connecting with another intelligent being who is very happy to..." "Participate, be involved." "You're not going to be able to ask it about the latest Madonna album." "It has no idea what Tolstoy is, or Keats." "You can't discuss the difference between Monet and Picasso." "It just doesn't exist for their world." "It's a simpler, very plain world." "And for those few moments, you kind of can get disconnected." "It's a very intense, wonderful kind of feeling." "I don't think anything really can kind of compare to it." "There's no pain." "At no time, in any way, shape or form, has anybody forced, coerced, drugs, ropes, whatever." "There's no bondage or anything like that involved in any of this," "Because these are..." "These are your friends. [ Door hinges squeaking ]" "[ Door slams shut ] I had..." "Submitted a..." "Query regarding another role, uh, which I didn't get and..." "After that, I forgot all about it." "And then about two months later," "I received a e-mail letting me know that the director had..." "Saved my pictures that I had submitted and was interested in meeting with me for the role of cop #1 for a movie, and that's all I knew." "[ Chuckling ]" "I met with Rob the next day, and, uh, I was frantically looking for a place to park, and I was real..." "I was becoming later and later and I was stressed out, and finally..." "I just parked in a, um, a loading zone, and I ran down to the..." "To where I was supposed to meet Rob, and..." "And just let him know." "And he said, "well, um..." "[ Clears throat ]" "Just go back to your car and I'll meet you over there."" "So I went over there and stood by my car, and we started chatting about..." "About the movie." "And at that time, he told me what the movie was about and..." "You know, I was..." "It didn't faze me because..." "I have, um..." "I've seen the best of humanity and I've also seen the darkest parts of humanity." "The summer prior to this incident," "I was in a softball tournament in Enumclaw, and I had a..." "A guy on the opposing team injured himself in the outfield, and I actually helped him onto the stretcher that took him to the very same hospital where this man died." "And, you know, that hits kind of close to home." "The cold, harsh, brutal reality is a man bled to death, okay?" "And as I researched my role and revisited some articles that I had read a year prior, and also some new information, you know, I..." "I thought about..." "I thought about what was going through this man's mind as he was bleeding to death." "And how did he find himself in this place at this time?" "And, uh..." "You know, I had the experience of holding a corpse in my hands that was a few minutes before a seven-year-old boy that had drowned in a swimming pool, and his last breath was..." "Frozen in time on his face." "And his..." "His eyes were fixed, and I could see right down into his mouth, and it was ghostly white, and it..." "At that moment, when I was staring into those empty eyes and looking into the depths of death, all's I saw was my own reflection." "And..." "To be there at that moment in time, during that tragedy, [ Sighing ] for a little boy that could not be revived, and ended up dying on Mother's Day, you know, that..." "That's embossed in my heart." "And..." "And it's..." "It..." "When someone dies, it's..." "It's something that I..." "I take to heart because there's nothing trivial about it." "There's people that..." "That love that individual, and they will never see them again." "And that's a tragedy." "[ Helicopter whirring ]" "Happy Horseman:" "We knew it was going to happen." "But we didn't know when. H:" "The media pushed this thing so far out of proportion, it's unreal." "Happy Horseman:" "How many places do you know of that actually gets CNN news to go down and fly a helicopter over the property just so they can have some footage for an accidental death?" "H:" "One day I'm doing just fine, and the next day I'm an evil person." "There's nothing evil about me." "I wasn't breaking the law." "I had everything going for me and it all come crashing down around me." "Anchor: [ On TV ] ...Animal cruelty after a bizarre death in King County." "Reporter: [ On TV ] According to the Sheriff's Department, the man died from internal bleeding after allegedly having sex with a horse in Enumclaw." "According to the King County Sheriff's Office..." "Authorities were able to find the farm after the man was dropped off at a local hospital." "Surveillance cameras traced the vehicle used back to the farm." "Deputies say they are investigating the possibility that animal cruelty laws might apply." "H:" "We had buckets full of tapes and CDs and stuff." "I wanted to get the stuff out of the house." "I was scared." "[ Phone ringing ]" "Happy Horseman:" "We did notice a very definite change in the phone service." "[ Ringing ]" "Happy Horseman:" "Picking up the phone, every 15 seconds, there would be a little blank spot." "Nobody at either end could hear." "And then it would come back to normal again." "Every 15 seconds." "And that went on for quite a few days." "[ Banging on door ]" "We were actually getting tracts, religious tracts." "People were trying to save our souls." "Man 1 : [ On phone ] Hello, dad!" "Man 2:" "Hello, son!" "Man 1:" "Hey, dad, you know what?" "They..." "They need to get this guy's name out there." "What's the guy thinking, screwing a horse?" " [ Laughter ] -..." "Find out." "[ Laughter ]" "Man 2:" "Well, nobody finds out if you live!" "Rush Limbaugh: [ On radio ] To the remaining items in our news digest today:" ""people who have..." This from Olympia, Washington." ""People who have sex with animals should face felony convictions for animal cruelty", says a Republican Senator pushing for a ban on bestiality." ""These animals don't have the cognitive ability to consent and that is the case, that we have to be protecting them", said Pam Roach." "Really, now, I hate to express my naivete about these kinds of things, but..." "Well, no, I don't, actually." "I'm very proud to be naive about these kinds of things." "But how do they know the horse didn't consent?" "How in the world..." "Can this happen without consent?" "We're talking..." "We're..." "We're talking about a human being and a horse." "[ Stammering ] If..." "If the horse didn't consent, then none of this would have happened." "Happy Horseman:" "They're looking for a spark..." "To get a shit storm started." "And this provided that spark." "He said, "stop right where you're at." "Put your hands behind you." "You're being arrested for homicide."" "And I said, "what?" "I am?"" ""I can't tell you any more." "You've got to come with me." H:" "I had it loaded." "I had it in my mouth." "I was going to blow the top of my head off." "That's how I felt." "50 calibre rifle." "Black powder." "Can you imagine what that would have done to me?" "[ Grunting on TV ]" "[ Inaudible ]" "H:" "They were investigating a homicide that didn't happen." "[ Grunting continues ]" "H:" "They assumed it was the horse that killed Mr. Hands." "They assumed that." "[ Grunting/groaning on TV ]" "Mr. Hands: [ On TV ] Oh, God..." "H:" "It doesn't show anything." "All's it shows is the horse doing something." "[ Grunting continues ]" "Man:" "Is that your horse?" "Coyote:" "In their mind, they don't care whether it's a filly underneath them or a human." "You've got something like a male animal, pretty much our purpose on this earth is to procreate." "I don't mean to sound detrimental to males, but we're here to pass the seed along that keeps generations going." "So there's always that drive." "[ Moaning ]" "Get out of my head!" "Happy Horseman:" "There were some nutcases in that jail." "Get out of my head!" "[ Groaning ]" "Get out of my head!" "Get out of my head!" "Happy Horseman:" "You're dealing with some very strange mentality." "And they had one guy up in there, just thinks it's kind of fun to go around instigating fights." "I've got a couple friends who are coming here..." "We're going to blow a hole in the walls." "Happy Horseman:" "Jeez, this is nuts." "I'm stuck with all these guys in here." "Finally, they took me upstairs and said, "okay, this is..." "This and this and this and this." "And we already know about that." "And this and this and this." "Sign here."" ""No." "What you've been hearing is not exactly true."" "We were basically gone for the weekend." "We were not expecting Mr. Hands to make an appearance at all." "H:" "Every time he'd come out to the house," "It was always about the son..." "How he's coming along in school." "His writing was getting better." "This went on for hours." "Oh, yeah." "He loved his boy." "That was one of the things he was setting up the house for." "It was for her to come back and live with him." "So he could be closer to his son." "Coyote:" "He was losing blood into his abdominal cavity." "You can have an injury like that and be bleeding to death internally and not really feel it." "I don't know if he really understood that what had happened was something that was killing him." "Happy Horseman:" "He thought that getting married, having kids..." "That was going to be the greatest thing in his life, and that didn't turn out as great." "Some of the different relationships he's had, just close friends..." "Others, it went further than that..." "Some of those didn't turn out so good." "So in a way..." "Coming to the ranch was," ""I don't have to impress anybody." "I don't have to really deal with relationships."" "Jenny:" "His family had commented to me that they were shocked when he called and said, "I bought a horse"." "They didn't want to go onto the property because they didn't want to have anything to do with the people that were involved." "But from an estate point of view, they had these animals that had to be dealt with. H:" "The sheriff gave me seven days to get out." "I already gave my mares away." "I already took my bulls to the auction and all I had left was Gablar and Strut." "Jenny:" "The brother, the father and I all met in the station and the police led us out to the property." "We pulled up into the yard and the police chief drove on." "And that's when I really realized that he wasn't going to come in with us." "This guy came out and it was extremely obvious that he was very deeply involved." "The brother just kept saying, "keep me away from this guy." "Just keep me away from this guy."" "He struck us as a child molester type, just a really creepy kind of guy." "So I said, "we've come to pick up one or two horses." "Where are they?" At the time, I thought, "I can't think through this right now"." "So I just turned on my internal camera, my head cam." "What does that look like?" "And what's this barn look like?" "And what's this area look like?" "He just kept saying, "I'm all torn up over this." "I'm just all torn up over this"." "And it was just so not real." "And then he pointed to the ceiling and there was a kind of a rope thing with a small noose-looking thing at the end of this rope, and he said this is where he would work the horse." "And I thought, "Whoa." "What do you mean..." "'Work a horse'?"" "H:" "That rope is a training tool." "They're called a high tie." "And what he'd do is he'd tie the horse's lead rope to that." "And the horse could go around in the pen, but he couldn't get out." "He was teaching himself how to ride." "Jenny:" "Stallions can be very dangerous." "We didn't know what his interaction had been with humans." "I just spoke quietly to him." "I probably said things like..." ""Oh, you're a pretty boy." "It's a beautiful day."" "H:" "Well, my impression of Jenny is that, uh..." "She doesn't know her ass from a hole in the ground when it comes to a horse." "Period." "She comes across as being a person that knows everything there is about horses, but to me, she doesn't know anything about them at all." "[ Horse snorting ]" "Even her husband doesn't know how to handle a horse." "[ Horse whinnying ]" "Jenny:" "I didn't realize until we got there that he'd owned two horses." "So I started asking questions about the other horse." ""What's the status of Strut?"" "And he said, "well, I own that horse." "He gave that horse to me"." "And I said, "well, show me your bill of sale"." "And he goes, "well, I don't have that"." "And I said, "well, you need a bill of sale"." "And then about that time, this guy shows up in a little truck." "H:" "The person that bought Strut is a friend of mine." "And there was a bill of sale and everything was there." "I don't think if, uh..." "Even if I didn't have the paperwork," "I was going to let her take that horse." "Jenny:" "But then a weird thing happened." "This little mini came up and got up under and started giving the stallion a blow job." "It was the strangest thing I've ever seen." "Ever." "Happy Horseman:" "I didn't get home until much, much later that evening and hadn't really paid too much attention to Mr. Hands." "We did acknowledge each other's existence." "H:" "I had to leave." "My boss was out of town and I was taking care of his horses at his place." "It was around 10:00, 11:00 o'clock, and usually I feed them at 8:00 o'clock." "I went over there ;" "I'd been drinking." "But I was hungry, so I ate something." "Well, that was my downfall, because as soon as I eat, I just pass out." "Happy Horseman:" "Something bad happened out there." "I don't think Mr. Hands knew this particular animal very much." "And I don't think the gentleman that was with him was really attuned to that animal, as well." "It wasn't until around 5:15, 5:20 in the morning that he made the announcement that he needed to go to the hospital right away." "If I had just the slightest inclination that something was wrong, he would have ended up in the hospital immediately." "H:" "He could have been out in the barn with his horse." "He could have been out there with my horse." "I'm not saying he was, I'm not saying he wasn't." "Like I said, I was not there." "Happy Horseman:" ""Please don't let this happen."" "And then I noticed that his lips were changing colour." "Woman:" "Sir?" " [ car door opens ]" " Sir!" "I'm not getting a pulse." "Code!" "H:" "You need to go out in the pasture with a bunch of horses." "They're going to come to you." "They're going to see who you are." "Then see what they do to you." "Mr. Hands: [ Whispering ] I can't think about it anymore." "H:" "That's what you need to do." "Mr. Hands: [ Whispering ] ...In the "C" direction multiplied by the exponent, the irrational number that constant can..." "[ Shouting ] Now it's good news!" "[ Whispering ] Multiplied by "C" minus the tangent." "[ Whinnying ]" "I can't just stop working." "I mean..." "God." "And I can't do it." "I cannot..." "The mean is predicted to have elliptical Gaussian pattern diffracted..." "H:" "I know another guy that used to work at the Black Hole..." "Woman: [ On two-way radio ] Does he have any identification?" "H:" "The same place that Mr. Hands did." "He had made a ripple..." "So they fired him." "Mr. Hands, he was building antennas." "He told me all about this one he just did and how it worked really well." "And they were really proud of him at the company." "He was liking that." "But I think what really he wanted to do was get away from that." "He wanted to be a farmer." "He wanted to be like me." "[ Monitors beeping ] [ Rapid beeping ]" "[ Flatline beep ]" "[ Fire crackling ]" "H:" "Mount Rainier is actually a beautiful mountain." "There's a picture of a deer head on the side." "There's the throat and the horns." "Once I found it, I couldn't see Mount Rainier for years." "All I could see was that deer head." "It took me a long time to look around that deer head to see Mount Rainier again." "Jenny:" "I know he really loved his brother." "I think that's why he kept talking about it and talking about it." "He told me a lot about the things that they found in the apartment." "He was really mulling it over in his mind." "And he actually found..." "A cast of Strut's penis." "Man: [ on radio ] All right, we did a lot of research, we got a lot of phone calls." "We pulled together a lot of information." "And here is what we have:" "we have an employee, now deceased, who worked at Boeing Corporation, Named K... Happy Horseman:" "There was nothing that they could really screw this down with." "They will just basically defame you into oblivion." "Your names will be posted all over the place." "H:" "My secret is out now." "Everybody in the world knows what I did." "I was evil." "I was evil because I..." "I had a love for my animals more than most people do." ""Go away." "We don't want anything to do with you." "Just get out of our sight."" "I wanted just to walk away from it and leave the past in the past." "Because I had it made." "I had the job of a lifetime." "At 50, it's hard to start over again." "I studied Buddhism for about three years." "It's been around a hell of a lot longer than God was ever around." "I still chant to this day." "So I got my beads out and my book out." "You can wish it away..." "But you have to concentrate." "I still want to do the farm life." "That's going to be me again." "Happy Horseman:" "The sex was just a small component of it." "And by standing there talking to them, in a way you're kind of connecting to them, going... "I'm talking to you on the same level" "that you're kind of staring at me, mammal to mammal."" "Coyote:" "If I sat down and tried to talk to Mr. Hands' family," "I'd find that rather difficult to do." "I can't even fathom what kind of hurt that they're feeling over the whole thing." "H:" "I do miss him." "A lot." "Jenny:" "We didn't want anybody showing up here who was part of that circle who would want to adopt him." "So we made the decision to geld him that night." "Jenny:" "I was trying to understand about this whole issue." "So I started doing some research." "In some of the things I read, I came across the term zoophilia, and I started kind of exploring that and, you know, doing a little bit more research about it." "And it was really interesting to me..." "It was just interesting to me to learn that there are people who really have a love relationship for an animal not of their species." "These people were talking about the extreme and loving care that they give their animal partner." "I-I don't yet quite know how I feel about that." "But I'm right at the edge of being able to understand it."