"KENNY:" "Thatrefrigerator wasn't fucking closed like it should be." "I'm turning the steam table on." "When there's too much ice, no dice." "And it leaks 'cause the drain system doesn't work." "No." "No." "No." "Yes." "I'm going over my list that i made for today." "I already defrosted that refrigerator that needs to be defrosted twice a day, every fucking day." "I cooked the lamb." "This refrigerator has never been grounded properly." "We're not sure why." "I would be getting shocked." "Constant shock." "High electricity going through my body." "This rack, which just barely holds on, if I don't put the coconut underneath, the weight of all the other shit just snaps it off." "There's not enough clearance between the shelf and the container to get the container in and out over that little lump." "The whole place is like that." "If you don't do what you're supposed to do, you get punished right away." "Something horrible happens, you know, which causes you to do penance." "In this particular instance, I'd be on my hands and knees, not just cleaning up the shit on the fucking floor, but having to fiddle the shelf back onto its hinges and shit like that." "You know, it's the way you solve things around your house." "It's not like you have a servant and a handyman come in." "You do what the fuck you can do when you can do it." "I like candy ass, you know, things that are human scale, human expressions of ingenuity and reality, the kind of stuff that everybody has on their sitcoms on television, but they don't want that to happen in" "their fucking life because it's not safe, it's not right." "I mean, that's not really a right way to run a refrigerator, the way I do it." "[ dishes clatter ]" "The bread man used to steal from us." "And this is the other thing my kids do wrong -- they always set it at different numbers, whereas my wife always sets it at the same number." "It's easy." "Just so that there'll be no problem with the bread man stealing anything." "[ Register Clangs ]" "That feels like a sweet potato." "I took a drill, and I reamed out the burners so they'd deliver twice as much gas." "I almost do better with assholes." "It's a very adversarial relationship, a restaurant, with new customers." "With old customers, it's really intimate and familylike." "But all new customers -- 'cause" "I've been here like 32 years -- they have to prove it to me that they're okay to feed." "[ scrubbing, swing music plays ]" "EVE:threesoft-boiledeggs, shreds, and black toast." "KENNY:thisis kindoflike  feeling somebody's pussy up." "You know, you get to put this thing in your hand that has, like, this, like -- you know?" "It's like a viscous feel to it." "It's not bad at all." "Hmm?" "And then when you cook it, it cooks different, too." "It's much friendlier than cooking eggs." "[ bell dings ]" "Pick up!" "Everybody, at 7 years old, thinks he's a mature person." "Has a job, a family, he's gonna die someday, and he's gonna go to wall street and slaughter the third-world nations today." "And he's having chocolate-chip pancakes for fucking breakfast." "Good for him, huh?" "Hi, Jose." "CHARLIE:" "Therelationship with my dad and Jose is kind of different than he's had with any other employees, 'cause Jose is, like, kind of like part of the family." "KENNY:" "Joseandi,onthe level of what we do for each other, we're like a perfect team." "Because, despite our great emotional, intellectual, and language differences, we, both of us, like to do the kitchen dance." "He accommodates me because i'm a fat, old, nasty Jew, just like some white guy who has a latin partner and does the samba and have nothing else in common." "And when we dance together, we're really good partners." "EVE:okay,ryebread?" "Kenny and i are very opposite in this way." "He is much more pessimistic than" "I am." "I'm optimistic." "I'm more of a fatalist, and I feel that I'm a lucky person." "things work out for me, you know?" "Knock on wood." "I have five -- wait a minute -- yeah, five healthy children who love each other." "That's the thing that i feel best about." "DANNY:" "I lovecominginthe morning, early -- 9:00, 10:00 in the morning -- sitting in this bench with my dad or my mom, and like, getting the paper." "And when it's not that busy," "I'll Cook someone some food, and come sit back down." "It just feels, you know, really nice." "And I think, I guess as a customer, it would probably be the same thing." "It'sa neighborhoodthing." "It's a family thing." "It's not just the greatest restaurant, where he cooks one of 900 dishes from scratch in a couple minutes and it's unbelievable." "It'smykitchen." "You know, I'm four doors down the street, and I fall into my kitchen." "Comingtothisplace,Ifeel like me." "It's the only restaurant I can go into, and walk in, whatever lousy mood I'm in, it changes immediately." "AndI tellKenny,"I'dlike  some ebelskivers."" "And Kenny says, "Fuck that, I'm done with the grill." "I ain't making you skivvies." "You want skivvies, have 'em for dessert." "You got to have lunch first."" "He says, "Kym, you want the skivvers, come back here, show me your tits."" "Most worthwhile flash I've ever done." "KENNY:" "Nevergotsued." "EVE:" "KnockOn Wood." "KENNY:" "I don'thaveany ." "But that's it." "You know, we didn't kill anybody." "EVE:" "A coupleof peoplehave threatened to kill Kenny!" "KENNY:" "Butthat'sonly because I am who I Am, not because of anything I did." "NOAH:" "I alwayswouldorder this Patsy's cashew chicken and scallions and lemon juice and cashews." "And I said, "something tastes different here, but I can't figure out what it is."" "And then I hear this voice whispering, "Noah, Noah!"" "That's my name." "And Kenny's over at the counter with a handful of cashews." "He said he forgot to put the cashews in, so he just gave me this handful of cashews and put it in the food, and it was really nice 'cause I knew there was something missing, but I" "didn't know what it was." "KENNY:" "Andhe washere before " " Larry!" "You worked here before Charlie was born." "As well as after, or just after?" "LARRY:" "Workedthecounter." "I was manager at the time -- stock boy/manager, whatever." "So I've been in that store ever since." "KENNY:...hislifearound completely, to being an honest, productive citizen and a good father, from being a turd, an absolute fucking turd." "LARRY:whenIleft,Kenny gave me a 10% discount for life." "KENNY:" "Therewasthiskid that came in here every day." "Macaroni and cheese, or he would have pancakes." "And one day, he says, "i can't decide what to have," So I said," ""Don't worry, Matthew, I'm gonna decide for you" " "Macaroni-and-cheese pancake." "Eggandcheesepancake." "Barbecued-chickenpancakes." "Chocolatechippancakes." "Postmodernpancakes." "Basically, you make some pancakes, and then you chop them up, and then you throw them in pancake batter again." "KENNY:" "Giant,glazed-apple, nut pancake." "The thing that's cool about it is how we glaze it." "Watch, you'll see in a minute." "I don't make much money on this bread." "They got me." "These people from North Carolina who aren't city slickers, they know value when they see it." "[ electricity crackles ]" "You got to kill flies all the time." "There's flies continually in the neighborhood." "There are certain flies that are bred to be high fliers." "That's how they survive in the restaurant." "All the ones that are low, we kill." "You know, it's very existential, killing flies." "You kill 'em one at a time, and that's it, they're dead!" "You know, it's almost like national politics in" "Afghanistan." "You know, once you kill those cocksuckers, they're finished." "But they can breed people that you can't catch." "And that's almost what happened with third-world people over the years." "We've bred people who are impervious to bourgeoisie demands, and they're willing to die to kill us." "They Bred To A Point Where I can't kill the high fliers, so i got a device that does, and that's what we're absolutely engaged in now in this country, is trying to come up with a" "defense that kills the high fliers, the people that are willing to sacrifice their life to destroy our malignant life-form here." "You know, I wish them luck." "Because, no matter what they do, their next enemy is gonna be from within." "That's the eventual outcome of all fly-killing and whatnot." "Once you get rid of the external enemy, you have to deal with yourself, so that even if you solve all the outside evils, you're left with your own." "You know, the evil your parents did to you, and the evil that all parents do to all people." "Anyway, I like killing flies." "[ horns honking ]" "LARRY:" "TheVillagehas been gentrified, but there's been holdouts, trying to keep it a neighborhood." "And the...neighborhood people are losing." "[ telephone rings ]" "KENNY:" "Yo?" "Yes." "I haven't moved anyplace." "I'm right here." "This place, at $6,500 a month, which goes to like almost $9,000 at the end of five years -- what" "I have here -- the relaxed, gradual, integrated nature of my existence, in which my customers drift in and are serviced and inter-react with each other -- this place, at $6,500 a month, I" "have to bust my fucking hump." "There's a whole lot before that, but the end of it is, when the new landlord took over the building after we made a feeble attempt to buy it." "If I Hadn't lost all my money in the market, I would have bought it." "I think it would have been a mistake, but anyway, the new landlord summoned us to his office, proceeds to offer me a one-year lease." "After 32 years in business, a one-year lease, which is, like, really stupid." "It's not an offer at all." "It's an insult." "See, "If I say no, and you rent it out to a new tenant, then you're gonna get more rent than you've just asked me for."" "Said, "No."" "I said, "Well, are you gonna offer them a one-year lease?"" "He Says, "no, but i have you over the barrel." "You Can't Do Anything." "you have to take it because you can't relocate."" "So He Says, "Try It For A Year," "See If We Like Each Other."" "And I said, "you know, from the evidence, I don't think I'm ever gonna like you."" "He said, "That's the best deal you're gonna get."" "At that point, I realized that, you know, I was fucked." "That a lot of the things that we've created because of our piecing..." "The strength -- it's almost like building something with ants, or with big blocks." "The sub-strengths, which help in the depth and the impact of the product, are gonna disappear in a couple of weeks." "CHARLIE:" "I mean,he doesn't go out." "You know, they don't, like, go to their friends' houses." "They used to." "All of my dad's friends just come to him." "So if the restaurant's not there, it's not like he lost his job, or his business." "It's like he lost his life." "KENNY:" "I gothroughmood swings on a really primal level." "You know, if you look at a personality development as a line of soldiers marching forward, there were ranks breaking way back." "A lot of the soldiers were marching forward into the battle of life, but there were a lot of guys who just like found a hole and crawled in." "They didn't go no place." "The only thing that's good about me is that the troops keep marching forward to new battles, and they don't dig in and say," ""This is it for us." "We're done fighting." "We're now gonna relax and coast along and play poker and clean our rifles for the rest of our fucking life."" "But, you know, life with one leg is just a limp." "DANNY:" "I don'tthinkI'd bea  regular here if I wasn't his son." "I don't think I'd have the balls to come in here day after day." "Andsomewherein '86,Icame  in, and I just wanted to have a cup of coffee, so, of course, I got thrown out the door." "Iwantedcoffee,and Igot shouted at." "Icamebackwithfour  friends, and we got thrown out the door." "Ihadthehonorofbeing  kicked out." "I think everybody should." "Hestartedshoutingather,  and my wife and I are sort of hiding behind our menus, hoping that the whole thing would blow over." ""Nofuckin'way!"" "AndKennysays,"Fuckyou! "" ""Fuckoff,go away."" "And I was afraid I was about to be banned from the restaurant." "FromwhereI'msitting, that's all part of the fun." "DANNY:" "I don'tfeelsorryfor them." "I'm just kind of like, "Aw," "Dad."" "KENNY:" "Andthepeoplewe eschew the strongest, who believe that they come into the restaurant and you're supposed to do something other than open up, be open for 32 years, cook the food, I reject that totally." "I do more than they do, and they can go fuck themselves." "There was a guy there who i kicked out five years ago." "He came in with a group of six, and I kicked him out." "And he says, "There's no one else in the restaurant."" "I says, "No, no, you're in the restaurant." "When you go, Then there will be nobody else in the restaurant."" "I said, "Everybody who's a regular customer knows you don't come in with more than four."" "I Said, "The fact you didn't know means you weren't a regular customer." "Who the fuck needs you?"" "I said, "I should have to explain to you why we have the rule?" "Do I have to explain to you how, when you make a rule, you have to try hard to enforce it?"" "At the end, before he left, I walked over and I gave him a great big kiss on the lips." "Mmmwah!" "[ laughing ] [ bell dinging ]" "JOSE:" "More,huh?" "KENNY:" "Yes,yes,yes ,more." "Turkey in here, Jose." "Pick up!" "[ whistles ] [ bell dinging ]" "EVE:" "Lunchspecial--turkey sloppy-joe salad." "[ bell dinging ]" "KENNY:" "It'soneofthelast tables." "Pick up!" "This oil is done." "Evie!" "EVE:" "Yeah?" "KENNY:" "Thefakusasare for" "John?" "EVE:" "Yeah." "MARA:" "Eggburrito,krakatoa, scrambled, well-done." "KENNY:" "Youknow,on television, they'll segue away, and come back 10 minutes later after this is sautéed, but I don't go for that shit." "I'm not waiting." "So I put a little bit of stock in it, cover it, and in just a few seconds, it will be totally fucking cooked." "Healwaysgivesmenice , wholesome-flavored, excellently cooked, large portions of food." "And I always tell him, "no mushrooms in anything, from the coffee on down."" "Ithinkthisisthecorned beef and cabbage, um, latkes?" "Youthink?" "Ithink." "TheBlistersOn My Sisters." "Andwhatis it ?" "Um,I 'mnotsure." "KENNY:" "Chocolate-orange" "French toast." "There are a lot of things on our menu, if you put it together, you can go someplace I've never been." "I took a banana boat, and I put bananas in it, and then I took an ice cream scoop, and I made pulled pork and cole slaw in, like, an ice-cream sundae." "I Called It Barbecue Banana" "Split." "It's almost like putting your dick in the wrong hole." "There's, like, a thrill to it." "There's a friction that occurs when you put an ingredient in an improper dish." "That's the basis of all Fusion" "Cooking, is that there's a sexual friction that's caused by putting the wrong food in the wrong place." "And sometimes it works, but not always." "[ timer buzzes ]" "Uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh." "Uh-oh, that has cheese." "Tell him it has cheese." "See if it comes back." "Thisisquinoacilantrosoup ." "Chicken-dumplingsoup." "Sweet-potato,vegetablesoup." "Russiancabbagesoupwith beef." "Chicken,tortilla,and avocado soup." "Senegaleseshrimpsoup." "Cubanblack-beansoup." "KENNY:" "Thisis thefavorite thing of mine that I make." "I don't have -- you know, whatever my cooking abilities are, my eating abilities are really basic." "I just love fucking chili." "The basis of it is that the deep meat flavor comes from adding a little bit of coffee." "I've had some of this chili every day for the past 30 years, and I really work on it." "EVE:" "It'sKennywho justgets  better and better at doing it." "KENNY:" "Whatwaswrongwith  this soup?" "EVE:" "AndIcheckonallthe food, too." "If anything is left over " ""Hmm, why?"" "And we'll taste it to make sure that there's nothing wrong with it." "Hey,Kenny,what'supwith  the candy?" "KENNY:" "Peopletakecandy." "Oh, this is like a documentary, small question for a big answer?" "Fuck yourself." "Talkabouthowyou fellin love with me when we came here, and we made a special day, 'cause i moved to California, to come here to Shopsin's, 'cause we know it's stunning." "Areyoustillacouple?" "No." "Wewereacouple10years  ago." "Sadly,I guess,to admit this, while I loved you dearly," "I think it was the wild mushroom cream." "KENNY:" "Sotheseare onEbay  for $5?" "This is, like, a $200 item." "It's also my tribute to the" "Trade Towers." "What time is it?" "2:00?" "That's all it is, is 2:00?" "That sucks." "I could close this joint up and get 500 square feet on" "Bleecker Street and sell burritos and make more money than I make now." "All of the things you do right in this business, you don't do right because you're a wonderful person, you do right because you have no fucking choice." "And of course, I don't always do everything right." "A lot of times, I fuck it up totally, burn this one or undercook that one." "I've seen food come back, and I look at it and I say, "Whoa, what a fucking asshole you are." "How could you do something like that?"" "We had entered into a bad relationship with an exterminator." "Somebody found a roach in one of the soups about eight years ago." "It certainly doesn't mean anything in the history of the" "Earth." "You know?" "But in your relationship with that person -- it's just you, them, and the soup." "Yeah, it's just, like, a huge event of incompetence on your part, of unhappiness when in fact they come to your place rather than mcdonald's or the supermarket to get something other than good food." "They want to get some satisfaction, and this woman didn't get anything." "Essentially, she got nothing but abuse." "No, no, it's a horrendous event for both parties." "So, yeah, that's happened here." "It's okay to do stupid things." "It's not okay to do stupid things when you notice them." "Not that we have high standards," "But they're gonna put it in their mouth." "Mmm..." "Mmm..." "Oh..." "Mmm." "Sowehavealittle taco-fried steak here." "Ahot-turkeysandwichwith sausage stuffing on black bread with cranberry relish." "TheMinda-- chickensalad, turkey bacon, and coleslaw." "TheEdmonton." "Thaicobb-- cilantro, pistachio, curry, grilled chicken." "Portobellomushroomswith gnocchi and cashews." "Okrachowderanddate-nut rice." "EggBurritoCheeseMelt." "KENNY:" "Myfoodisloadedwith butter." "Sorry, it's just a dead fly." "You know, and I wonder sometimes about the morality of my profession, as to whether or not what I'm doing is essentially wrong." "Not the service part, not the sentiment part, but that I'm an enabler." "But the reason I justify it, is that I ride a motorcycle, which is equally stupid, that if you want to eat pancakes with sugared fruit on top, and you get a good deal of pleasure from" "doing that, you have the right to pursue that pleasure." "Just like the guy that sells me the motorcycle." "It's not really my place to judge these people." "That's what freedom is all about." "Where is it?" "Is it not here?" "Now it's the end of the shift, and I'm tired." "All the food blends together in my head." "MARA:" "Itdoesn'tmatter." "I'm sorry, it's nothing to do with you guys." "It has to do with he can't handle it." "It's just too much for him." "He's my father." "I'm not gonna burden him with something on father's day." "Okay, I'm sorry." "DANNY:" "It'skindoflike the rules of this place in general." "Like, you either know them or you don't." "Like, a friend brings you in, you know the rules, because they tell you." "And if you walk up off the street, you're in for a surprise." "Okay,so,shouldIread the whole thing?" "Yes,please." ""Partyoffive--youcould  put a chair at the end, or push the tables together, but don't bother." "This banged-up little restaurant where you would expect no rules at all has a firm policy against seating parties of five." "And you know you are a party of five." "It doesn't matter if one of you offers to leave, or if you say you could split into a party of three and a party of two."" "That's what we said." ""Or if the five of you come back tomorrow in Richard Nixon masks and try to pretend that you don't know each other." "It won't work." "you're a party of five." "even if you're a beloved regular, even if the place is empty, even if you bring logic to bear, even if you're a tackle for the Chicago Bears, it won't work." "You're a party of five." "You will always be a party of five." "100 blocks from here, 100 years from now, you will still be a party of five."" "Oh,myGod." "That'swhathappenedtous!" "Ican'tbelieveit!" "A poem about us." "Couldyoucomeinifyouwere six?" "Shopsin'sdoesnotdo take-out." "In fact, you might get your head bitten off if you ask for them to do something." "But they fed me, you know?" "I mean, I was really, really ill, and they would do -- they would put stuff together in containers, and friends would come over and pick it up and bring it over." "I don't know, it just sounds all sentimental and everything, but you don't forget gestures like that because it makes you feel like you really are home." "KENNY:" "Somebodywhotruly tries to create something beautiful and lovely, and people who create things to neutralize the venom that they produce every night in their dreams, and" "I'm definitely the second type." "I cook to neutralize some type of Freudian, mother-breast-related problem that resurges in me just like old faithful all the time." "And I can't get rid of it." "It's in there." "It's mixed in worse than aids could be mixed in." "I used to think that the only way for change was through" "Freudian Analysis, that there is no hope other than that." "I went like 14 years, 5 days a week." "It takes you back to the point in your life where you stopped developing normally, and it uses the psychiatrist as a good parent, and you just grow up all over again in a short period of time." "But there may be other ways." "That's not my field of expertise." "I know it's really hard." "It's really hard." "It's like trying to find something that you haven't lost." "A guy that eats here who was gonna be my lawyer to help me try and do something with this place, and this landlord says," ""I have a space in my place that might be good for you."" "And I said, "Sure."" "'Cause, to me, that's like the golden tone, is when somebody i know, who's already been involved with me for some other serendipitous reason, suggests that we deepen our relationship." "Alotof whatIdo inmy job is merely helping wealthy people get wealthier." "I didn't have the courage to step in the front door because of their reputation in the neighborhood." "KENNY:" "Ifyoulookstraight down there over the top of that post-office truck, you'll see a bulbous green awning." "That's it." "Itactuallyseemedlikea perfect suggestion to bring" "Kenny here, because it's only two blocks away." "KENNY:" "Andhe 'sbeenkindof my advocate in this all." "Whenmybrotherand  stepbrother wandered by the restaurant and saw Kenny asleep in the front window, my stepbrother turned to my brother and said, "You're kidding, right?"" "Richard decided that the best way, and in fact the only way, to accurately determine whether or not Kenny's food was of a caliber that Richard felt was appropriate for a restaurant in our building was to try it" "out incognito." "And so Richard dressed up in a beret and a pair of sunglasses and had a lunch, and somewhat begrudgingly reported to my brother that the food was excellent and that the service was courteous and friendly." "And to Richard's credit, when it looked like Kenny was gonna lose at the last board meeting, it was Richard who said, "You know," "I think that maybe we should give this guy a chance."" "KENNY:" "So,theotherplace, you know, Mark, for all the bullshit with his brother, they're all decent people who treat other human beings with respect, even people that don't deserve it, which is the big" "demarcation point, I think, in human behavior." "If you treat people with respect who don't deserve it, it's a mark of high civilization, because you never know who's only temporarily deserving of bad behavior, so you try to treat everybody with a morality" "that makes you a good person, not whether or not they deserve to be treated well, and I feel really much more comfortable with those people." "[ bell dings ]" "Shut the fuck up, Sam!" "I didn't want to leave the neighborhood." "The right thing to do was what my daughter Melinda said, and that's to go out to Brooklyn and buy a building on Smith Street, 'cause that's all the money i had left -- or not to lose my" "money in the stock market and buy this building and stay here forever in my own fucking museum." "EVE:" "Andwe foundout six  weeks before I was due that we were having twins, and I called kenny and, for the only time I can remember in my whole life," "Kenny was speechless." "I don't know how I did it." "I would be able to nurse them standing up, two of them at the same time." "I'd be packing groceries." "You know?" "And then we would just ship them off with a customer when it got too crazy." "He loves doing the brunch on" "Sunday, and for me it's a nice break." "Let Them Run It, And It's Okay" "If the restaurant has a life without me for a day a week." "ZACH:" "Youknow,Ilike  cooking for people, but I don't know if I would like it for the rest of my life." "Areyougoodatit?" "ZACH:" "Yeah,I'mgoodatit ." "It's in my blood." "We'vebeenfriendsfor over 35 years." "I was the best man at his wedding." "Oh, I think definitely, definitely, they're chips off the old block." "MARA:" "You'reputtingtoo much thought." "Just do it!" "KENNY:" "NowwhatdoI do ?" "Okay?" "MARA:" "Aah!" "Notokay!" "KENNY:" "I 'mreallygladyou  helped me out there, Mara." "That was a lot of fun." "MARA:" "AndIburntmyfinger." "KENNY:" "Good." "You notice how everybody deserted me and left it to me to clean everything up?" "That's the difference between being a parent and an employer." "Whatareyougonnadothis summer?" "ZACH:" "Workforthis motherfucker." "Imean,he 'sgotsomereally fucking weird, half-baked philosophies." "Has he ever given you the whole thing like he thinks, until your kids are 18, you should be able to kill them if you want?" "KENNY:" "Thereare,inthis  city, a large number of people whose hobby is not going out and getting fist-fucked, and is not going out and collecting porcelain dolls." "Their hobby is going out and going to restaurants." "A lot of people don't understand that, in most kitchens, everything that's ordered gets cooked by somebody." "You ask your mama for a peanut-butter sandwich, your mama takes some fucking bread, takes some fucking peanut butter, and makes you a fucking sandwich." "It's the same thing that happens in this place, except I'm not your mama." "My family always orders pain-in-the-ass shit." "I think it's a way to get even." "[ engine revving ]" "ZACH:" "Mostlikemydad?" "DANNY:" "Noneof us ." "ZACH:" "Noneof us ." "None of us at all." "Us all combined, probably, are like Kenny." "DANNY:" "I thinkIthinkmore  like he does, so I know what he's gonna say before he says it, and I kind of counter his mind." "ZACH:" "I 'mnotlikemydad." "I'm like my mom." "I do everything that my dad hates about her." "I have all those attributes." "I'm lazy." "I know how to have fun, which he doesn't like, 'cause Kenny does not know how to have fun." "That's his biggest problem in the world." "He doesn't know how to relax." "CHARLIE:" "Notthathedoesn't know how to have fun." "ZACH:" "Hedoesn'tknowhowto have fun!" "He goes, "Zach, I know one of your best attributes is that you can sit there and have fun for the rest of your life." "I cannot do it." "I need to work."" "He can have fun working, but he doesn't completely let himself go like me or mom does." "God, now you're gonna make me feel bad, cause you have, like, the camera in my face." "CHARLIE:" "It'snotlikeanyone doesn't know about you." "ZACH:" "It'slikelookinginto  a mirror of your soul." "[ burp, laughter ]" "CHARLIE:" "Whatwe gottodo is get my dad stoned." "ZACH:" "That'swhatI'vebeen  saying for like 15 years." "EVE:" "Onceuponatime ..." "CHARLIE:" "Andhe wastalking about how he used to take a glass of coke, like half coke, half fucking rubbing alcohol, and fucking chug the thing." "ZACH:" "Hetoldmethat when he was a little kid, he used to put grease on these really steep hills, and him and his friends used to go hide in the bushes and watch cars slide down." "Like, for real." "Fucking crazy bastard, and he screams at me." "KENNY:" "Bottomline,Igotta have one $700-a-week employee to clean up all the time." "That means I have to make 700 hamburgers." "That Means I Have To Have 700" "Customers extra." "And to have to do more business, either I'm gonna be in the kitchen more, or the food that goes out is gonna be less good." "And we have a few questions." "It's too small for me!" "DANNY:" "You'llloseweight." "MARA:" "I ThinkThat'sSmart." "Danny:" "That'sAMission." "Butyouhave20tables,so the waiter knows what table it is." "KENNY:" "Okay." "I was just curious." "MARA:" "Dad!" "KENNY:" "Yes?" "MARA:" "Thehandlesonthese fridges." "KENNY:" "Butit lookslikeit stays closed." "Yeah,itstaysclosed." "And we have it for five years like this." "KENNY:" "I believeyou." "YouknowwhatImean ?" "And you're not buying the business from us, you know?" "We're giving you for free." "KENNY:" "I understand." "Sodon'tasksomuch fora  little thing, please." "We are sick already." "Let us go, just fine with it." "You know what I mean?" "The detail thing, you know?" "KENNY:youweren'tfeeling that way when you went from" "$30,000 to $50,000." "Look,look,thetwo ofyou,  please." "Youknowsomething?" "I'll tell you something." "We have a deal, and we have some people offer us 300,000 fucking dollars, 300,000 fucking dollars in this place." "You know, two week ago before that happened, someone -- just, please, don't." "We are giving you everything." "and we wish you good luck." "KENNY:" "Samir?" "Samir?" "Samir?" "You're right, I'm wrong." "I apologize." "I'm sorry." "You're absolutely right." "I'll stop." "I'll stop acting like an asshole." "I'm sorry." "Okay?" "Okay?" "You accept my apology?" "allright." "KENNY:" "I 'mverysorry." "Let's go to the basement." "Airconditioner,exhaust system, walk-in boxes." "Steel shelving, tables, chairs, dishes, glasses, cutlery." "I'm giving him a chance to object if he wants to object, and he's not objecting." "KENNY:" "Seeyouina month." "And I'm sorry if I upset you." "I didn't mean to." "I didn't mean to upset you." "It's not my intention." "Nothingnewto us ." "KENNY:butIhavethis strong feeling and this awareness of myself and my position in things because, one, some guy gave me a huge amount of money to help me in the move 'cause I'm broke" "from my stupidity in the stock market, and three other people have offered me money." "And all of a sudden, I Feel like a cross between an endangered species and a closet intellectual." "Come talk to me about it." "Mara:" "WhyCouldn'tMarkStart" "The Proceedings?" "Kenny:" "HeCould." "If They Have A Lawyer Who's" "Really Smart, They'll Get A" "Year." "MARA:" "I don'tmind." "KENNY:" "There'sjustnothing we can do about it." "It's beyond our ability to do anything." "And you should do -- you know, you're too young -- but you should put yourself in their position." "They took that space 18 years ago." "18 years ago, that was two crappy stores." "Absolutely everything in there -- the bathrooms, the floors, the ceilings, they don't want to leave." "Now you're angry at me?" "MARA:" "Thefirsttimeisaw  it, i was just stricken by it." "I'm not saying anything." "I'm just telling you how I feel." "You got angry at me last night." "Then you weren't angry enough not to bring it up now." "KENNY:" "I haveto cookwith her today." "I've got to be nice to her." "She gets mean." "When she gets mean, she's no fun to cook with." "You know, she's a very sweet, lovely girl, but when she cooks, she's vicious." "Now she's telling her, "he hasn't shut up for two days." "He's just running his fucking mouth like he's stoned."" "That's what she's saying." "LARRY:" "He'llhavetodeal  with stuff he doesn't want to deal with." "Whether growth is forced upon you or you dive into it, you know, it's something that helps you..." "Mature, maybe, a little bit, into a more graceful life." "KENNY:" "It'sgonnatake forever to fix that place up." "forever." "Mara said it to me so much, I yelled at her last night." "She keeps saying that we're getting ripped off, that everything they have is old, moldy, nonworking." "MARA:" "Andnotsuitedforus." "KENNY:" "Andnotsuitedtous ." "You ever see" ""Woman in the Dunes"?" "It's about a guy who, through some circumstance, finds himself in this deep pit with a woman." "and he's not sure how he got there exactly." "And the woman is loving." "You know, they have sex." "And he has to get up every morning, and he has to dig sand out, put it in a bucket, pull the string, and the bucket goes up and automatically dumps the sand out." "If he doesn't do that, they get buried in sand." "And sometimes, without the spiritual part of my life, it feels like that, you know?" "I guess it feels that way to everybody, right?" "You know?" "Although I don't really mind digging sand, to tell you the truth." "[ sighs ]" "So, he calls me up yesterday, last night." "At 1:00 today I'm supposed to go." "I have a certified check for" "$50,000." "That's it." "I go, the Magic Carpet is my place." "He tells me that there's a place on Hudson Street, a store." "This is a business." "I don't have the option to overlook a lease possibility." "EVE:andit 'sso nice,you  know, that somebody wanted, you know, somebody that we thought really didn't like us all that much, 'cause she didn't come in that often, to know that she was" "touched by our position." "Things like this have been just happening from all over the place, and that's been so good for our souls." "KENNY:" "Soshe'snow offering me this premises, which really isn't a restaurant, right around the corner, supposedly at a better rent." "I have to decide really quick if it's better." "Eve, you keep taking breakfast orders, we're never gonna go to the restaurant." "Maybe I'll send Jose over." "DANNY:" "I thinkhe lovedit." "I think the problem is that we were already too far into that deal." "KENNY:" "Whatdo youthinkwe should do?" "Well, give me an answer." "I have to decide at 1:15 today what to do." "It's not a matter of it being an intellectual exercise." "We're in reality." "On the 30th of this month, I have to be out of this fucking space." "MARA:" "Howmuchworkisit ?" "KENNY:" "Howmuchworkisit ?" "there's nothing." "It is raw space." "There's no walls, there's no floors, and it will take time." "We don't have time." "You really want to go for the big shot, huh?" "EVE:" "Yeah,that'swhatwe talked about, that you were gonna move forward, and blah-blah-blah?" "Remember that?" "KENNY:" "Yeah,butyou knowI'm a whore." "EVE:" "I know." "KENNY:" "Thisis anotherpart of what I do." "I have additions, I have corrections, and I constantly edit the list." "This is in the great tradition of all good kitchens, this type of shopping." "It's Just The Level Of Which I" "Do it is appropriate for the level of my creativity and of my station in life." "I know who I am, I know what I do -- normal cooking for normal people." "See any arrows on these bags?" "i opened it right up." "A lot of people, if there's not an arrow on the bag, they're in a lot of fucking trouble." "You never know when you're gonna need to open a plastic bag, either." "Nothing that you see here will exist by next week." "It's a different place, different people." "It's nice." "Is the national vegetable apparatus more humane than the national beef apparatus?" "The harvest of those lovely organic vegetables that your wife eats is some fucking brown person getting his skin ripped off his body while he picks it." "Dying at 35 instead of 68 because they're malnourished" "And overworked, living in a place with disease and vermin, and being paid money in a plantation system which always finds a way, just like our government does, to take back almost all the money they give" "you, because if you end up with a lot of money at the end of the growing season, you won't go back." "You'll go somewhere else." "You'll buy a fucking pair of shoes and get a job at the Post" "Office." "Now, in the new restaurant, if I do do the shopping, this big change in my life is I'm gonna have to go right on" "Clarkson Street instead of going right on Morton Street." "Which is okay for me because the" "Morton Street people are not as nice as they think they are." "This guy is supposed to meet somebody here for breakfast, and we're closed." "What do you think?" "Hedoesn'tlookhappy." "KENNY:" "Thenwe 'regonnaopen the gate up and he's gonna feel good for a second, then he's gonna feel bad again." "So you gonna shoot him to see if" "I'm right?" "Yeah." "ThisisShopsin's?" "Kenny:" "ThereWasAMoment" "There where you had a glimmer of hope?" "Well,yeah,aboutasecond." "KENNY:" "Despitethefactthat  you read the paper?" "No,I didn'treadanything." "KENNY:" "Oh,there,itsays  right on the gate." "Oh, okay, so it's a trick." "KENNY:" "Whataddressdoyou want our new restaurant to have?" "28 Bedford Street or 54 Carmine?" "I'm tempted for Carmine." "EVE:" "I thinkit makesmore sense to have Carmine." "KENNY:" "Andit 'sanicername ." "EVE:" "Because,otherwise, you're gonna be explaining the entrance on Carmine." "KENNY:" "Carmineis ahard syllable." "I think it might be a new image for us." "EVE:" "Yeah." "KENNY:" "Thelasttimeina segment of your life is less difficult to accept than the last time in your life." "and this is the thing where I come out all right, because for all of the things that have gone wrong, it's an opportunity for regret." "You never know." "Regrets are like children." "You don't really know if you really want to have them till it's too late to do anything about it." "And I don't have that many regrets." "And yet, despite my real affection for this place, the bond that I'm gonna miss is the bond of enforced confinement." "I would hate very much to go from one physical dependency on environment to another one." "But to float free, it's not so easy for somebody who's been dependent on environment for his stability." "I don't really want to go out and plow the fields with everybody else, but I'm not really interested in living in" "Iowa, in the mountains someplace either." "So we'll see what happens." "DANNY:" "I 'mhappythat everyone is here." "It's like a family affair." "[ telephone rings ]" "KENNY:" "Shopsin's." "This is our last day, so it's kind of floating' free." "I Can't Tell You A Thing, Except" "We're open now." "DANNY:" "Itshouldbefunifit doesn't get too busy." "EVE:" "Hi,everybody!" "KENNY:" "Howyoudoing?" "EVE:" "Hi,gang." "KENNY:" "Yearsin thebusiness have taught me that if you cook too fast, they leave, then you have to cook again." "When I was really young, I was as heavy as I am now, and I lived in 38 Morton Street next to a woman who was really crazy." "Every time I came home, "You fat, Jew bastard."" "Every night for years." "and then I went on, like, a diet, and I lost a lot of weight, and one night I came home, and she says, "You Jew bastard."" "And I went in there and said," ""Holy shit, she complemented me."" "And I turned around and said," ""Thanks, Betty!"" "We'resittingandeating,and they had a Berith here." "And the Mohel, cutter of the wienie, came, and he wasn't extremely thrilled about the place because there was a big," "20-pound ham cooking' up on the counter." "And I think he disliked Kenny so much he said something nasty to him about the wienie that he had just worked on, and Kenny went charging after the guy and was screaming." "Everybodyalldaywas  absolutely persuaded that Zach's foreskin ended up in one of the dishes, or perhaps in several." "Perhapsthenewplacewill  open up some things for Kenny in terms of the kind of cooking he can do." "It's whatever he wants to do." "I know that it will be an interesting experience for me." "And he's walking around behind me, and this is terrifying me, because I don't know what he's doing and he's so unpredictable!" "Ihaven'tbeenovertolook at that place." "I guess it looks suspiciously like a restaurant, though." "Ihaven'tseenthe new place, don't know nothing about it." "This place has something in it that no other place has." "Whatdoyouthinkthat is?" "Chutzpah." "The vibes are great." "It's just a great place to sit and eat, and you never know what's gonna come out of his mouth." "KENNY:" "What?" "MARA:" "Chocolate-orangeFrench toast with maple glaze and a side of bacon." "[ telephone rings ]" "KENNY:" "Yeah." "But don't come." "This is our last day." "We're not taking any new customers." "It's all finished for the day." "Yes." "Thank you." "Asshole." "Ifheeverchanges,I'll kill  him." "KENNY:" "I hopeit 'sa psychological reaction to being kicked out of here, is that I'm out." "I don't feel like cooking here anymore." "She is taking command." "If it wasn't for her organizing things, I wouldn't be even in the ballpark here." "MARA:" "I 'mjustbringing" "Just save a slice." "♪Youmaymeetastranger♪" "♪ You may meet a stranger ♪" "♪ Not much stranger ♪" "♪ Across a crowded baguette ♪ [ applause ]" "Imean,theguy has been closing here over the past few weeks." "He's still creating dishes." "Kenoncerecentlydescribed this place as being like the rings on a tree, where he can look around and see things that are from last week, and he can look around and see things that are 15 years ago." "I'mhappythere'sgonnabe a new place." "I'm sure it will be as uniquely" "Shopsin's as this was, just in another way." "MARA:" "John,do youwanta" "Pellegrino?" "Please,Hon." "Thank you." "They know what I want." "KENNY:" "Seethecup ?" "After I do this, it drips sometimes." "So that, after it dripped and we cleaned it up a lot of times, the solution to the drip was this." "And the problem with leaving this place is that the whole place is loaded with my solutions." "Kennywouldgiveeverything away." "Money is not that important." "It's the end result of doing a good job." "Youknow,somepeopleplay a role in helping people feel better, and sometimes they do it just by being themselves." "EVE:" "Youknow,the store brought us everything, you know?" "It fed us, it gave us intellectual stimulation." "It opened so many doors to us." "Whenever you needed to know anything, there was a customer who was just the person." "Whatdoyouthinkaboutthe change, moving on to the new place?" "Idon'tfuckin'likeit." "KENNY:" "Youknow,myson, when  he was really young, the first time he actually took a shit in the toilet, flushed the toilet." "His shit's swirling around, and he looks at me and he says," ""Have a nice trip."" "Meaning that that wasn't shit to him." "That was part of him that's going away on a journey." "This is, you know, I'm saying" ""Have a nice trip" to my store." "JOSE:" "Now?" "Veo que le gustaría por no ir." "KENNY:" "I justlostmyfuckin' piece of paper, son of a bitch." "I had a piece of paper with a list of things to do, and I lost the piece of paper." "What an asshole." "DANNY:" "Mom,canyou wakeup" "Zach and have him come over now?" "KENNY:" "I 'msweatingin the fucking kitchen, working my balls off so I can pay you!" "Scumbag." "Talk to Eve about all that shit." "I don't want to be bothered with it." "Fucking douche bag." "What's Zach doing?" "EVE:" "Sleeping." "KENNY:" "He'snotwakingup." "You know..." "I can't wait till he fucking goes to college so I don't have to deal with his shit any more." "What a fucking jerk." "AreYouClosed?" "KENNY:" "Yes." "Tillwhen?" "KENNY:" "Forever." "JOSE:" "It'sopennextmonth." "Nextmonth?" "KENNY:" "Forever-- tellhim  forever." "It's forever." "This place is never gonna be open." "Don't be nice to people." "It's a big mistake." "I'm gonna go over to the house and physically assault him." "Good you're not gonna be there." "Imissedit ." "EVE:" "Yeah." "Ithoughtit wasgonnabe this week." "EVE:" "Wemovefast,Ron." "Thereitis ." "KENNY:" "SoMaradoesn'tknow  where you hook the phone up." "When you contract it, do you contract it to have the phone service come into the building?" "EVE:" "Yes." "KENNY:" "Where?" "You don't know." "Who do you think might know?" "Who knows?" "Nobody?" "You don't know anything?" "You haven't a clue, is that right?" "EVE:" "I don'tknow." "KENNY:" "Cool." "That's really cool." "I have to run over there now." "I want all the artwork and everything loaded into the van." "See if you can do it without fucking things up." "EVE:" "Well,thisisKenny,and this is how he reacts to things, and I just don't pay any attention to him." "If I had got upset about everything he did and every name he called me, you know, I would be in big trouble." "I've developed techniques, and I just leave, you know, go outside for a few minutes, or I go in the bathroom, or just, you know." "ZACH:gotit on ?" "KENNY:" "I don'tunderstand," "Zach." "ZACH:" "I putin an hour,and  then I go " "KENNY:" "Whatdoesthe ticket say?" "I told you to buy the soda, and" "I told you to put the parking in there." "ZACH:" "I did,andthenfucking" "I go over and put another fucking 50 cents in there, and fucking there's a ticket." "I'm telling you, the guy must have waited for the exact second the shit ran out." "KENNY:" "Well,whydidn'tyou keep the meter going?" "ZACH:' causeI wasfucking working!" "KENNY:" "Youdon'tget it?" "You really don't get it?" "ZACH:" "I getit ,Iget it." "KENNY:" "Youreallydon 'tget  it, do you, Zach?" "It's like un-fucking believable." "I ask you to do a fucking job and you don't do it." "It's really simple, isn't it?" "What's to get?" "Unbelievable." "Unbelievable." "You don't think it's unbelievable?" "You stole the fucking extra money, right?" "ZACH:" "It'sin my fucking pocket!" "KENNY:" "Youtookthe extra money, you bought an ice cream with it, but you didn't do what you were supposed to do!" "ZACH:" "I didfuckingdothat ." "KENNY:" "Areyoutellingme that you got that meter going and that that meter maid is wrong?" "Are you telling me you did what you were supposed to do?" "ZACH:" "I guessnot." "You're right." "I fucked up." "KENNY:" "Whatwouldithave  cost you to go out there and put another two quarters in?" "ZACH:" "Nothing." "KENNY:" "Thenwhy?" "ZACH:" "I don'tknow." "KENNY:" "Tryto thinkaboutit." "ZACH:" "I don'tknow." "I was busy working." "KENNY:" "Youwerebusydoing something that didn't have a deadline, and you gave up something that did." "CHARLIE:" "Thethingis, he's so good at arguing, that quite often he'll win arguments where he's wrong." "They, like, can't imagine ever telling their dad to fuck off." "He'll yell at us and we'll yell at him." "It's just the way it is." "EVE:" "AndI'mhopinginthe new place, where he's in the kitchen, that there's gonna be less of that." "KENNY:" "You'regettingonmy fucking nerves now!" "I can't do anything until the kitchen works." "But first I have to get out of here, otherwise they're gonna lock all my shit up, and I'm" "Gonna look stupid." "I'mlookingforShopsin's." ""It's hard to recommend" "Shopsin's, but it's even harder to leave it out." "The temperament of chef/owner" "Kenny Shopsin makes dining a risk." "If he doesn't like your attitude, he won't hesitate to throw you out." "A shame, considering you'd be missing a selection of more than" "200 soups and hundreds of entrées, each prepared a là minute." "One of the best meals is breakfast." "Offerings include homemade pumpkin pancakes, corn and cornmeal waffles that will keep you feeling full for the entire day." "The coffee is good, but you have to get it yourself." "If you don't like it, you know what you can do."" "Onfridaynight,Ihaddinner with a few friends, and we were the last people out and got talking to Eve, and she said," ""If you have nothing better to do on Monday or Tuesday, come on by."" "they're loyal Shopsin's customers, as well, so it was like one phone call, and they were like, "Well, yeah!"" "Oh!" "Bravo!" "MARA:" "Dad,whatdoyouwant to take next?" "Jesus!" "KENNY:" "Thisstoveissix stoves -- 40% of stove from" "Sloppy Louie's and 60% spare parts." "Every burner is different." "It has no legs." "All the oven racks are different." "Each oven has a different burner in it." "The pilots haven't worked for 15 years." "This one looks like a whore's ass -- scratches and bumps, a little bit bowed, and if you pour something on it, it always goes to the left." "If that flame goes on accidentally and the oil heats up too much, it will explode." "Just push it down the hole." "It'sallyours." "KENNY:" "Takin'it withme." "Maybe they'll use it as a cheap headstone." "This place is put together like somebody who wants to have a jigsaw puzzle, and he assembles it one piece at a time, but the pieces aren't precut." "He cuts them all." "I'm moving to a different neighborhood, and I felt there, in the first three or four days" "I was there, a good deal of hostility, anger." "Anger that I was the cause of" "The Magic Carpet's demise, anger that I'm the harbinger of change, and I guess for most of the older people there, it means they're closer to death." "And I Felt that if I did something that was too cocky, to put up an awning with no sign, cocky, anonymous, exclusive..." "I decided that it was an unfriendly act to go in there with my own style, and that I should moderate my style to include words and something that people could relate to and understand, so that I wouldn't" "be a stranger in a strange land." "You know, it's like... it's like it's not there and you just float around the city like you're in a dream." "You're attacked by the sights, the sounds, and the smells." "Every neighborhood smells different." "Crusty -- probably Bruno over there." "Nice, brown crust on the bread, with maybe sesame seeds." "EVE:" "KennySaysit'sabouta week away." "KENNY:" "Jose!" "I need Jose." "I've been kind of crippled, emotionally." "And physically, too, I've been very enervated all the time by the burden of mental things." "It's left some room for her to assert her capabilities, as opposed to constantly being whacked around by my effusive expression of competence." "EVE:" "I 'mready,yeah." "It didn't take long." "It was really nice having a little bit of space in my life, which I never have, 'cause I'm generally just running, running, running, rushing and everything that I have to do." "KENNY:" "One,two,three cheeses." "What else?" "And on top of that, peppers, mushrooms, bok choy." "We need lemons and limes up, too, Jose." "Okay." "What else, Jose?" "What else do we put in this fuckin' place?" "I'll probably have my same customers and an occasional personal drop-in, but I'm cheap per product." "In other words, the hamburger is big and the meat is fresh, but" "I'm expensive openers." "You know, like when you're in a poker game, where you can't play the game unless you have jacks or better?" "The entry price here is high." "I don't have a 99-cent special." "There's Not much you can get for 6 bucks, either." "Once you get over the entry price, you get your money's worth, but you have to be willing to -- that's the way I did it years ago." "I didn't want to have an adversarial relationship with my customers." "I wanted them to be at a point where they could give me enough money that I don't have to worry whether they get 2 ounces or 10 ounces, or whether I put in" "Macadamia nuts or I put in peanuts." "EVE:" "It'sgrowth." "You know, I'm very happy that, at this stage in our life, it's exciting doing something new." "KENNY:" "I wentoverjustthe egg dishes, so if somebody orders eggs, I think I can do it." "EVE:" "I calledandlefta message." "The eggs should come tomorrow." "If they don't, they don't." "I'll use the regular." "KENNY:" "I think." "DANNY:" "I 'mjustalwaysamazed that he gets up every morning, and he doesn't complain, and he's on his feet all day long." "He's cooking, and he's lifting, like, huge pots with chicken and turkey, and he doesn't take any vacations." "Always, constantly, every day." "like, just, every day." "KENNY:" "It'saserious problem, not being able to find the ingredients for my own fuckin' food." "I don't know where the hot sauce is." "Where do you think the salsa is?" "Now I can't find the garlic, either." "I'm starting to get angry." "They're gonna be in." "They're gonna be wanting food." "Bingo." "You can tell that I haven't been working." "I Still have a little hair on my arm." "When you do this, you just get distracted for a second, and when it comes out, it just goes like this, "Boom!"" "It gets into a subject that really has not much to do with me but has to do with humanity." "a great lack in America, the great belief that was our flaw." "once we lost our Christian background, or whatever the fuck we had, we never intellectually, as a country, tried to figure out what the meaning of life is." "And we still don't." "All these issues about terrorism, race, education, and school prayer -- they'd be a lot simpler if we had a meaning of life going for us." "Not that that's easy to achieve, but nobody seems to be looking." "Am I, with my busywork, seeking to inject meaning into my life?" "Where the fuck is the marinara sauce?" "The way that I choose to function is to pick a arbitrary, stupid goal, become totally involved in it, and pursue it with vigor, and what happens to you in that pursuit is your life." "Understand they're stupid, but not stupid to pursue, because it's the only way you can inject meaning into your life." "Otherwise, you're left with this great, "Why bother?"" "No, it wasn't supposed to start yesterday." "I wasn't open yesterday." "It's supposed to start today." "So you don't have any extra baguettes?" "Make sure I get a dozen baguettes tomorrow, please?" "Yeah, and call that fuckin' asshole up and tell him he's an asshole, 'cause I don't have the patience." "Bye, Victor." "Bye." "JOSE:" "Oh,muchbetter!" "Yeah, this one much better!" "I like being here." "I like the floor." "I like everything." "Mucho clean, it's nice." "KENNY:" "SoIdon 'texpectthat  much neighborhood business, but" "I may be wrong." "Where the fuck are the shrimp," "Jose?" "JOSE:" "Whatis it ?" "What you want?" "[ bell dinging ] [ whistling ]" "KENNY:" "Pear-walnutsoup." "[ timer buzzing ] [ sizzling ]" "Hehappenedto be very fortunate that he was forced to make the right decision." "YoucantellI'm important." "I got a double order of chorizo." ""Thecustomerisn'talways right" is one of my favorites." "EVE:" "Lunchspecial,two beef tacos, potato curry." "KENNY:" "Atsomepoint,when  it's really busy, and Jose, we're totally immersed for an hour, two hours, totally zoned out, totally involved in the details of what we're doing, totally gone -- that's when it" "becomes peaceful." "That's what makes it a seductive thing to do." "You feel cleansed afterwards, better than a good night's sleep." "It'sallin hishead, whatever he has in there that is his idea for that dish." "And that's something that should make that restaurant work wherever it is." "KENNY:" "Turkeylambisgone ." "[ electricity buzzes ]" "Nice!" "That makes me so fuckin' happy." "some of them go twice, you know." "they go there to get a shock, then they fly away, and they come back, and they get another shock." "JOSE:" "Chop,chop." "KENNY:" "Wegotstonedtogo to  the movies, and the movie was all about people eating and fucking themselves to death, and all we wanted to do was eat and fuck." "And since we were out, we decided we would eat." "And the very first restaurant we came to, we swore we'd eat in." "Very first Mcdonald's to open in" "Manhattan." "Three large, athletic black males with sawed-off shotguns come in, scream at the manager, bop the shit out of him, tell him to go open the safe." "There's a third guy just standing in the center with a shotgun, turning around, watching everybody." "All this is going on, and your mother, who had gotten French fries and was interrupted by the robbers, got up, went to the counter to get ketchup, and then came back and sat and ate her" "French fries." "EVE:" "Youknow,wenevermade a lot of money, but we got tickets to this, you know, whatever, like my Rolling Stones tickets." "You know, to me, music, there's" "The Rolling Stones and there's everybody else." "And every time 2205 01:15:22,350 -- 01:15:24,117 The Rolling Stones came to town, I would try to get tickets, and at the very last minute, someone would come through with primo" "seats." "Yeah." "KENNY:" "Thisis ,like,another one of my half-baked philosophies." "The first duty of everybody in life is to realize that they're a piece of shit." "They're selfish, they're self-centered, they're not very good." "And that you're willing to sacrifice 20,000 people in another country just so that you can go to a Wings Concert." "You'll sacrifice the lives of 100,000 Chinese female babies just so you can rent this fucking camera and do your stupid art project." "No problem!" "You're a piece of shit." "Once you realize you're a piece of shit, it's not so hard to take, because then you don't have this feeling that you're a good person all the time." "And let me tell you something." "feeling that you're a good person all the time is like having a brand-new car with no scratches on it." "It's a real responsibility which is almost impossible to live up to." "Being a piece of shit and then occasionally doing something that's good and true, it's a much easier place to be." "I think that's really important, and I've always tried to raise my kids to understand that they're not that terrific." "And that not being that terrific, that's okay, 'cause most people who say they are terrific " " Bill Clinton," "Cardinal Egan, anybody you want to talk about -- they're not so terrific." "Martha Stewart!" "They're not so fucking terrific, either, and there's nothing wrong with being not so terrific." "In fact, it's what the whole ball game is about -- is about being not so terrific and accepting it." "[ door opens ]"