"(THEME SONG PLAYING)" "CORY:" "In case you didn't see last week's Boy Meets World, here's why I have this look on my face." "And do you, Topanga, take Cory to be your husband, to honor and cherish him, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do you part?" "I..." "I..." "Do." "I..." "We got "I." We're looking for "do."" "TOPANGA:" "I..." "This is just the strangest thing." "Excuse me." "Topanga, listen." "You can do this, okay?" "I did it." "I was a real man about it." "Now, don't leave me up here in my wedding dress." "Let me try this again." "Okay." "Yeah." "Now we're cooking with gas." "I..." "ALL:" "Do." "Do can't." "I can't." "Oh, you hate to see that!" "I'm so sorry, Cory." "I'm so sorry, Judge Bemis." "Foofie." "(DOOR OPENS AND SHUTS)" "You know what's funny?" "What's that, son?" "She asked me." "Boy, I am so sorry my family missed that." "I'm sorry, Cory." "Wow!" "I don't know what to say." ""Do!" You know, "do"?" "It's the first half of your favorite word, "don't."" "I don't like your tone." "(CHUCKLING) You don't like..." "I drive 1,000 miles to marry her and she don't like my tone." "That is really rich." "I want my family to be at my wedding." "I want your family to be there." "Cory, I want to wear a wedding dress." "A white, lacy wedding dress." "Of course, white." "The way we're going, bright white." "Snow white." "Whiter than the white-hot light of 1,000 burning suns!" "How long are you gonna be mad at me?" "Ten minutes." "We raise Cory carefully." "We teach him everything we know, we do the best we can, and then we disagree over one thing, and all of a sudden, he's gone." "He's not gone." "He's a good kid." "He would never get married without us." "Are you sure?" "Absolutely not." "But what the heck?" "We're having another one, aren't we?" "Hmm?" "I'm giving you the next 18 years of my life." "Don't you ever do anything without me." "He won't." "And neither will I." "So come on, let's all go to bed, okay?" "Come on, it's 3:15." "Only creeps and weirdoes are up now." "How you doing?" "You were thinking about your brother, weren't you?" "Yeah." "I got a six-foot-tall wonder-woman sleeping in the room next to me." "I was thinking about my brother, though." "Yeah." "What are you doing here?" "Well, I couldn't sleep, if you know my current situation, and there's nothing on TV, so..." "Hey, wait a second." "What are you guys doing up?" "The only people up now are creeps and weirdoes." "How you doing?" "Shawn, what are you doing here?" "Eighteen years I'm his best friend." "I raise him right, teach him everything I know." "I thought you wanted them to get married." "Yeah, but not without me." "I'm supposed to be the best man." "Hey, wait a second." "I'm supposed to be the best man." "Maybe that's why they eloped." "They couldn't choose between us." "No, Eric." "No." "They eloped because your parents tried to tell them what to do, so they drove up to some justice of the peace up north." "At least that's what he said on my machine." "You heard from him?" "He really did get married?" ""He's a good kid?" "He'll never get married without us?"" "I am keeping my knees together and this one is never getting out." "Can I crash on you guys' couch?" "I don't want to be up this late with all the creeps and weirdoes." "How you doing?" "Hi, George." "I couldn't sleep." "Why not?" "Well, you got all the lights on." "Everybody's yelling." "And Eric parked his car in my garden." "So?" "What the hell do you care?" "You're moving." "Go ahead, Feeny, retire." "Take care of yourself, that's what you're best at." "The man has given the last 40 years of his life teaching people." "Don't care." "Kill his flowers." "Kill them." "Eric, when someone you care for makes a considered decision to change his life, then those who do care should offer their support" "and respect his decision." "Oh, Feeny, you had me at "Eric," man." "Come here." "You're right, George." "We should accept what they've done and do something to show our support." "I mean, after all, we're talking about Cory and Topanga here." "Cory and Topanga?" "I was talking about a going-away party for me." "Going away?" "You're still going away?" "Oh, for the love of Mike, stop with the mindgames, man." "You know, this is the reason I can't sell my house." "Put the mirror back." "Gee, sorry, I'll put it back just like you had it." "There." "Great." "Now I can see if there are any cars coming at my crotch!" "Stop snapping at me!" "We ran off together, and you know what we did?" "Nothing." "Our big dramatic moment, and you know what we did?" "Nothing." "I don't care about a big dramatic moment, Cory!" "It's not right to run off together because we think we have something to prove." "When we get married, I want to have a big cake." "I want doves." "No doves." "You were right." "You did the right thing." "Our marriage should be a celebration, not a secret." "Thank you." "You owe me the rest of your life, you know." "It's yours." "Hey, Rachel, what's up?" "Rachel, how you doing?" "What smells so good?" "I am making you two French toast." "But I'm not going to do it every day, so don't get spoiled, okay?" "(LAUGHING) Okay." "Jack, Jack, Jackie, Jack, Jack." "Live a healthy life, eat all your vegetables, honor you father and your mother, and heaven will reward you with a hot-hot-hottie-hot hottie-hottie-hot-hot for a roommate." "I need to tell you two something." "Don't leave." "We'll do anything." "When I met you, I was in really bad shape." "But you two, you took me in." "You rescued me." "I just want you to know how grateful I am to you." "I am so lucky." "You guys are my heroes." "Thank you so much." "No, thank you." "(BOTH CHUCKLING)" "Oh, thanks." "Hey, we're the ones that are lucky." "Oh..." "Come here, you." "(ALL LAUGHING)" "One more." "(ALL SIGHING)" "Excuse me." "Okay." "Oh." "By the way, by the way," "I promise I'm not going to be a bathroom hog, but I really do like to start the morning with a bubble bath." "I like to put in all the aromatherapy beads and all the bubbles and..." "It's just my favorite part of the day." "Is that okay?" "Yeah." "I demand you take bubble baths." "Really?" "Why?" ""Why?"" "Jack?" "Well, um..." "You know, if you didn't take bubble baths, that means you're not comfortable..." "Comfortable." "...living here with us." "With us." "JACK:" "We just want you to be yourself." "With bubbles." "Oh, you guys." "You know, I am this close to being glad that my boyfriend actually left me." "BOTH:" "No!" "Please." "(SCOFFS)" "Oh, man." "That girl is taking a bubble bath in the bathtub of our bathroom." "We're geniuses." "Dude." "Don't know if this is the right time to say..." "I love you, man." "Dude." "Don't even, man." "I'm the one that loves you." "Dude!" "Dude!" "Come here!" "RACHEL:" "Oh, boys, you know what?" "I can't figure out how to work the stopper in the bathtub." "Could one of you please come show me?" "Come on!" "Cory, wait." "I'm scared." "I don't want your parents to be mad at me." "I love them." "Well, they are gonna be mad." "Topanga, In fact, if I know anything, they are gonna be furious." "Congratulations, newlyweds!" "ALL:" "Congratulations!" "(ALL CHEERING)" "We're so proud of you." "Congratulations." "It's really great." "I always felt like you were a sister to me." "Now you really are." "Cor, you gotta try these cheese balls, man." "They're, like, insane, they're so good." "What's happening?" "(MUTTERING) They think we're married." "(EXCLAIMS) You guys look exactly the same." "What'd I tell you, Cor?" "You were always married." "Doesn't take a piece of paper to change what always was." "Shawn, I gotta tell you something." "Oh, and I want to hear all about it." "(LAUGHS)" "But not in front of your parents, okay?" "(CLINKING) Okay, everybody, listen up, please." "I just want to say that I am the luckiest man in the world." "I have one beautiful wife, a lovely daughter and one wonderful son!" "Hey!" "Hey!" "And now I have yet another lovely daughter." "I think we should tell them." "Not now." "He's talking about me." "To Cory and Topanga, all the best." "We love you." "ALL:" "To Cory and Topanga!" "My little brother!" "Whoo!" "(CLAPPING)" "Well, well, well." "Mr. Feeny, before..." "No, no." "It's my turn, Mr. Matthews." "You have done quite enough tonight now, haven't you?" "(ALL EXCLAIMING)" "(LAUGHING)" "For 40 years, I have taught young men and women." "I have seen countless lovestruck children." "But I have never seen the love, the loyalty and the fun that I have seen in you two." "My friends, my dears," "Cory and Topanga." "ALAN:" "Hear, hear!" "(ALL CHEERING)" "Cory and Topanga!" "(LAUGHS NERVOUSLY) Well, it's the mother's turn, and I do want to say something." "(EXHALES)" "I have watched these two grow up." "Boy, have I." "And here they are now, adults, just fresh out of high school." "Don't know anything about the world at all..." "I'm sorry." "I can't do this." "This is a mistake." "And I do not support it." "Why couldn't you have just gone to Yale?" "Hear, hear!" "I should go." "No." "Topanga, you're not leaving your own wedding reception." "I'm sorry for any pain I've caused." "Topanga, wait..." "How could you say that to her?" "(DOOR CLOSES)" "I'm sorry." "You're sorry?" "So for 15 years you've been lying to me?" "No." "No." "You've been lying to me about how you feel about us, and you've been lying to me about how you feel about her." "I want what I believe is best for you, Cory, and Topanga." "What's best for us, Mom, is for you to trust us!" "I love her!" "All right?" "I will always love her." "And you know something else?" "We didn't get married, because she wanted you to be there!" "(DOOR OPENS)" "(DOOR SLAMS)" "Who's the present for?" "No one." "You bought a present for Rachel, didn't you?" "No, I didn't." "Oh, it's a book!" "So she has something to read in the bathtub." "You know something?" "That's cold." "You're trying to get her to like you more than she likes me." "That is cold, man." "What about that stuff before about, "Oh, dude, I love you," all that stuff?" "It's just plain cold." "Oh, and, uh, what's that, slime-wipe?" "Some kind of bird for Rachel." "(LAUGHING) Your present's stupid." "Hey, guys." "Oh, hey, Rachel." "Hey, I bought you this bird." "(CHIRPING)" "It reminded me of you because it has bright red feathers and it eats like a bird." "You bought me a present?" "Oh, I got you this book, um, which I've read, and I thought maybe you'd like it." "Keats." "How did you know that that was my favorite poet?" "I told him." "What just happened?" "Something bad." "(BIRD SQUAWKING)" "Can we eat this?" "They're too young to even think about marriage." "I understand that you don't want our little boy to make a mistake, but he is not a little boy anymore." "Please." "I still lay out his clothes." "And what she wants to do..." "Topanga." "Right." "What she wants to do..." "Topanga." "Use her name." "Right." "What Topanga wants to do is..." "Lay his clothes out for him." "What?" "Take care of him." "Be there for him." "Amy..." "Do you think that this would bother you as much if this was some girl who couldn't take care of him as well as you have?" "Do you really think that Topanga isn't right for him?" "It isn't about that." "They are too young." "He's not ready." "I'm not ready." "(SOBBING)" "Yes, she's right for Cory." "She loves him." "And yes, she..." "She'll take care of him." "And he'll be happy." "Oh, God." "I'm jealous of her." "(CHUCKLING)" "Oh, honey." "Hey, we still have Eric." "Oh, God!" "She's been in there a really long time." "I know." "You don't think that she, like... (EXCLAIMS)" "Nah." "She's too tall for that." "We're freaks, man." "She just comes off a bad relationship." "She's vulnerable." "Yeah." "And both of us are going after her like she's some kind of cheese ravioli." "Yeah." "When she really needs a couple of friends." "I'm telling you something, Jack." "We better make it safe for her around here before it's too late." "(RACHEL GRUNTING) Oh, no, it's too late." "We're not letting you go." "What?" "We know why you think you have to leave." "Why do I have to leave?" "Because of the extreme sexual tension that we've created in this here, your new habitat." "Oh, yeah." "You feel it, too, huh?" "Yes." "And we realize that if we have any chance of keeping you here, we have to stop thinking of you as a..." "Puff pastry on a plate." "And more like a..." "Person." "And we won't chase after you, compete for you." "We'll be what you really need." "Roommates and friends." "And that's it?" "That's it." "So, what do you think?" "Come on, will you stay?" "Stay?" "I was never moving out." "BOTH:" "Yeah!" "You know, I love my book." "And my bird, too." "You guys treat me better than my boyfriend ever did." "You know, I think that started to scare me." "I just realized that I could easily fall for either one of you." "And then I thought, well, so what if I do?" "Because I can deal with that." "Oh, no!" "We guessed wrong." "No." "No, no, no, no, no, you didn't, 'cause we have to keep this strictly platonic, no matter what I'm feeling inside." "(STAMMERING) Well, then, what's in the suitcase, then, Rach?" "Just some mementos from my old boyfriend." "I was on the way to the incinerator to burn them." "So, I guess when we get back, we'll start our new relationship." "Thanks, guys." "You really saved me from myself." "You know, you two are the most sensitive, caring men that I've ever met." "Thanks." "(DOOR CLOSES)" "(TIMER DINGS)" "The bird's ready." "I should leave." "You don't need to leave." "Topanga." "Um, could you come over here, talk to me for a minute?" "I don't want you to be mad at me." "I'm not mad at you." "Why don't we let them have a little talk?" "Because I'm afraid Mom's going to kill Topanga and bury her in the sandbox." "It's very hard for a mother to think that another woman is going to take her place with her little boy." "I could never take your place." "I just love your little boy, Mrs. Matthews." "Amy." "Use my name." "Amy." "And if there is going to be another person to take my place," "I want it to be you." "Thank you." "I'm really proud of you, Cory." "You stood up for what you believed in, and you made your own decision." "Yeah, but, I mean, Topanga was right." "It would have been wrong to get married just because you said we shouldn't." "I raised a good man." "You calling me a man?" "Yeah." "You want to get off that swing and do something about it?" "Yeah, I do." "(CHUCKLING)" "We came down here to tell you guys that we will always be here for you no matter what you decide." "And the one thing we don't ever want to do is make you feel afraid to come to us with any important decision." "Uh, well, we have made a decision." "In fact, I think we've made the most important decision of our lives." "We love you both." "And now that there's going to be a wedding, you're going to need this." "This was my mother's engagement ring, and I would be honored if you would wear it." "Amy..." "I want it to stay in the family." "Hold it." "Remember me?" "Cory?" "Don't I get to do anything?" "No, no, no, no." "I don't get to propose," "I don't get to put the ring on her hand, I don't get to do nothing." "Welcome to marriage." "Cor, we have a lot to do, a whole wedding to plan." "Actually, no, we don't." "What?" "You said no to her?" "What is the matter with you?" "Ow, ow, ow!" "I told you, we made a decision." "We made it together." "We listened to our friends, and we listened to our families, but we made it on our own." "So, what did you decide?" "I'm gonna tell you, but there's something I need to do first." "Topanga." "Come here." "We've been together our entire lives, and you know that I love you more than anything in the world." "Will you marry me?" "Yes, Cory." "Yes, I will." "All right, already." "When's the wedding?" "That's what we decided." "We're gonna get married when we're ready." "And when we're ready, you'll be the first to know." "So, have a great time in Jackson Hole." "Here's to your retirement, George." "ALL:" "Hear, hear!" "Thank you, Alan." "I'll miss you all." "Well, I guess it's time for Feeny's favorite student to make a speech, huh?" "For 40 years, I have watched you educate young men and women." "Boy, have I. (CHUCKLES)" "I'm sorry." "I can't do this." "This is a mistake, and I do not support it!" "Why couldn't you have just gone to Yale?" "(DOOR OPENS AND SHUTS)"