"Devon is out of the spy business for good." "Please don't say another mission, chuck." "You're back!" "I'm hannah." "If you ever find yourself in burbank," "My assistant manager owes me about" "A million and a half favors." "¶ ¶" "Stop the presses!" "Who is that?" "Vicky vale... : ¶ vicky vale!" "Vick, uh, vicky vale!" "¶" "¶ vibby-doo-dibby-doo, vicky vale!" "Vick, uh, vicky v... ¶" "Do you remember when sarah first walked into the buy more?" "What was it like?" "Was it love at first sight?" "¶ ¶" "I don't know, but whatever it was," "It changed my life forever." "Why?" "No reason." "Morning, guys." "Hi." "Hey." "Morning." "All right, everybody, back to work!" "Real taskmaster, that, uh, morgan." "yeah, I can tell." "So, my first day" "As a nerd herder-- any advice?" "Oh." "Uh, let's see, well, let's start" "With the five-cent tour, shall we?" "I like to consider myself the jack hannah" "Of this untamed wilderness." "Me, safe;" "Everyone else, very dangerous." "Yeah, a little creepy." "But I am sure" "That you will protect me." "Indeed, indeed." "You stay by us, sister; you'll be safe." "Charles." "Hannah, lester," "Jeff." "Two of the finest members" "Of our buy moron staff." "Hannah, namaste." "Nice." "All right, why don't we give jeff an opportunity" "To realize that he's in public?" "Thank you." "So, I was going through the nerd herd manual last night," "And I have a few questions about how to file an install." "Let me get this straight." "You went over the nerd herd manual in your off time?" "Are you gonna be a problem employee?" "Look, I know this isn't my dream job," "But I thought that while I'm here," "I would be the best nerd herder you have." "Well, as you probably saw," "That's not an insurmountable goal." "You must be pretty committed, going to paris on an install?" "Yeah, uh, uh..." "Um, you know, about..." "About t h-that whole paris thing-- can we" "Just keep that between the two of us?" "I don't want everyone else getting jealous..." "Yogurt time." "Oh, is it..." "Is it yogurt time already?" "Uh, yogurt, most important meal of the day." "But don't worry," "I will give you the full chuck bartowski tutorial" "When I get back, I promise." "I'm gonna totally hit that." "May the best stalker win." "Oops." "Hey, where's shaw?" "Off grid on a covert mission." "It's not your concern" "Where agent shaw is, mr." "Bartowski." "Oh, uh, that's actually" "Agent bartowski no w" " I don't know if you heard," "But I completed my first solo mish last week." "Paris." "International op." "But I guess you probably have been briefed." "We've traced a large sum of money" "From an offshore ring account into a civilian account." "I want to know why." "What's the money for?" "The civilian's name is manoosh depak." "Trained as a computer engineer," "Dropped out of mit after his freshman year." "Classic geek tragedy." "Sound familiar?" "We sent a virus that destroyed the cpu" "Of his custom computer and bought up every series eight cpu" "Within 30 miles." "He'll come into the buy more to replace it." "Develop him as an asset, agent bartowski." "Find out what he's doing for the ring." "That's it?" "That's the whole..." "Mission?" "I'll have it done by lunch." "Don't get cocky, bartowski." "One mish does not an agent make." "Chuck, you-you can't take this lightly." "Developing an asset" "Is very tricky business." "You need to insinuate yourself into their life" "And have them trust you completely," "Knowing that one day you're probably gonna have to burn them." "The trick is to find the hole in their life" "And fill it." "With this manoosh loser," "He's a loner, friendless." "And the asset has entered the store." "Showtime, bartowski." "Don't worry, guys." "Piece of cake." ""mish."" "Chuck's not ready for an asset." "We're advancing him too quickly." "I'm worried." "Your job's not to worry, it's to train." "Three o'clock." "He's with the newest buy moron." "Can I help you, sir?" "Chuck, I got it." "No, really, let me help." "She's new here, still in training." "Actually, I'd rather have her help me." "No, chuck, I'm ready." "I can handle a simple sale." "It's okay." "Hannah, no sales are simple." "But don't worry, you will get your chance" "To shine as soon as you" "Are ready." "Okay." "Ah, sorry about that." "Alone at last." "What can I do you for?" "Nothing." "Now that you ruined my flow with that hottie." "Let me ring you up personally." "Uh, are you from around here?" "Is that a burbankian" "Accent I detect?" "Woodland hills." "See?" "I knew I heard" "The familiar twang of the san fernando valley." "Your eyes are hypnotic." "Chestnut?" "Hazel?" "Get a room, bartowski." "You're not asking him out" "On a date." "You know," "I think I'll just get the cpu somewhere else." "Wait, wait, wait!" "No, no." "Uh..." "You-you should just take it, you should take it." "What do you mean?" "It's on the house," "For the inconvenience earlier with the hottie." "You sure?" "I mean..." "Isn't that illegal?" "It's on me." "My pleasure." "Chuck, ease up -- you're coming on a little strong." "Here's my card, just in case you have any other computer problems," "Or if you want to chat, you know," "Rap a little." "Thanks." "Idiot." "I'm not trying to pressure you, you know." "No biggie." "You have my card." "If you call, you call." "It's okay!" "Keep going!" "I'll hold them off!" "Call me!" "I stand corrected." "He's not ready." "Thank you." "¶ na-na na-na na-na ¶" "¶ na-na na-na na-na ¶" "¶ na-na na-na na-na ¶" "¶ na-na na-na na-na ¶" "¶ na-na na-na na-na ¶" "¶ na-na na-na na-na ¶" "Oh, are you okay?" "Yeah." "Yeah, just caught up in this..." "Fascinating article on..." "Kidney failure." "You've been really jittery lately." "Ever since the generalissimo's party," "You haven't been acting like yourself." "Well..." "I just haven't been sleeping lately." "Nothing to worry about." "You don't rock climb anymore, you never work out." "You just..." "Lay around and watch tv all day." "It's like I'm married to morgan." "I pulled a hammie, I'll have you know." "I'll be back on the bike in no time." "Can I ask you a question" "About chuck?" "Ai!" "Oh!" "Yeah." "Um," "But he's your brother." "I mean, can't imagine I can tell you anything about him." "Well, did you know" "He went to paris last week?" "I found this claim ticket" "For charles de gaulle airport in his luggage." "Yeah, yeah, uh, he mentioned it." "Mentioned it?" "Why wouldn't he say anything to me?" "He's always wanted to go to paris." "Did he see the eiffel tower?" "Yeah, he did." "No, he didn't." "I don't know." "Damn it, I am late for my rounds." "Got to run." "No, devon, wait a minute." "There's something you're not telling me." "What's going on?" "Going on?" "What, like a conspiracy?" "You're freaking, babe." "You are hiding something!" "What is it?" "That I love you." "Which I'm not hiding." "Let's talk about this later." "There are kidneys failing as we speak." "Devon..." "De..." "What are you doing Friday?" "You want to hang in my van?" "What about Thursday?" "And I'm disease-free." "I don't think mr." "Barnes here can say the same." "That was low." "All's fair, kiddo." "Yeah, I think that I'm pretty booked up this week, you guys." "Hannah, hannah, could I see you for a second?" "Remember what I said:" "Me, safe;" "everyone else, very, very dangerous." "So, how'd you like to start phase one of the bartowski tutorial?" "Oh, I thought you'd never ask." "Yogurt time." "Most important meal of the day." "Uh, we'll talk later." "What about the tutorial?" "Lesson number one:" "Never work hungry." ""very dangerous," huh?" "Morgan, buddy, hey, can I talk to you for a second?" "Yeah." "Would you mind keeping an eye on hannah?" "The vultures are circling." "Oh, boy." "Sure." "Lester, jeff." "What, now?" "Can I see you both" "In my office, please?" "You have an office?" "There we go." "What happened to all the brooms and bleach?" "I just, uh, move 'em in and out every morning." "Gentlemen," "Have a seat, please." "Okay." "It is my duty as assistant manager" "To tell you there'll be no dating in the workplace." "Yeah?" "You dated anna." "It's my constitutional right to fornicate." "Okay." "Here's the thing." "I like her." "Okay?" "I'm just asking you guys" "To, you know, lay off." "Fine, but I get to sleep over" "With you and chuck twice a week." "Okay." "You?" "Next hire..." "I want you to find me a wife." "A woman of color," "Preferably padma lakshmi." "Done." "One condition." "You men are both excellent stalkers." "I need you to use your skill set and find out everything" "There is to know about hannah, okay?" "Likes, dislikes..." "Everything." "Consider her stalked." "Okay, credit card charges," "Mostly video games, comic books." "Phone records indicate only one female call" "In the last year-- sister." "I feel so sorry for this gu y- he seems so lonely." "Oh, whoops." "That's your old file, bartowski." "Sorry about that." "Ah, here we go." "Oddly similar." "Battlestar galactica, dune," "Nacho sampler-- sounds like your dream date." "The problem was, chuck, that you came on too strong." "You never want to seem like you're making advances." "You always want the other person to feel" "Like they're in control." "Here." "Thank you." "So, uh, that first day" "You came into the buy more, when we first met," "What did they tell you about me?" "What do you think?" "You hadn't had a date in over a year," "And they don't waste the blondes on just anyone." "Uh, it hadn't been a year." "Okay?" "Thanks." "They thought you and I could connect." "I remember you left me your card so I could" "Call you so we could go out." "Felt like I was having the luckiest day of my life." "god, I was pathetic." "No, you were sweet and innocent." "I liked you." "It made it much harder." "Why?" "Hey, sap's on his way to the bar." "Let's go." "¶ ¶" "Wow." "The last man." "Incredible book." "The greatest literary achievement of our generation." "Hey, you're that guy" "From the store today." "Oh, yeah." "Sorry about that." "We had a bet going to see who could get" "A customer to steal something from the store." "I won." "I knew it." "Something like that had to be" "Going on in order for that hot chick to want to wait on me." "You don't need a 160 iq to figure that out." "Boost his ego, chuck." "She, uh, probably liked you." "No way." "The usual." "We're all out of the nacho sampler tonight, manoosh." "Last one is right there." "We stole all the guac from the kitchen." "Remember, the nacho sampler is his favorite dish." "Go ahead." "Help yourself." "Thanks, um..." "Chuck." "Can I buy you a beer, chuck?" "All right, here we go." "What'd you find out about hannah?" "Um, she is out of your league." "She's a sophisticated, classy kind of broad." "Yeah." "She eats sushi..." "With chopsticks and without the rice." "Wow." "I copied her itunes and iphone playlists." "She listens to classical music." "Oh, boy." "Tchaikovsky's swan lake is her most-played," "And she likes french cinema." "And foreign films." "Sorry, my friend," "Even with us spying on her," "You do not stand a chance." "¶ ¶" "You're doing good." "Keep it personal." "Anyway, so my dad was a physicist, right," "But he cracked, so when I saw myself going down that same road," "I quit, dropped out of stanford." "That's exactly what happened to me," "Except I dropped out of mit." "Huh." "I knew I could tell a fellow underachieving," "Underappreciated man of intellect." "Great, two geeks in a pod." "What are you suggesting?" "That buy more is not an" "Impressive enough career choice?" "It's okay." "All the doubters will be sorry soon enough." "They don't understand guys like us." "I got something big planned." "This is it." "Move in." "Gently, chuck." "Don't push him." "Uh, how, how so?" "What are you, uh, what are you working on?" "Work-- won't leave me alone." "Hello." "Guys, he's got a ring phone." "I'll run a trace." "Whoa, slow down, chief." "Yes, I have the prototype." "Still have some kinks to work out." "Look, I gotta go." "I'm with a friend." "Sorry about that." "These guys, they're a little high-strung." "Yeah." "Act all tough, you know?" "Think they're intimidating with their secret phones." "Ooh..." "Scary." "Signal just bounced back three miles away." "Ring's tracking him." "We got about five" "Minutes before they get here, tops." "Time to send in a pro." "You're up, walker." "So, you were talking" "About your job?" "I'm doing something weapons-related." "But that's really all I can say." "I want to tell you, believe me, I do." "¶ ¶" "What the hell is she doing in here?" "I got this!" "You weren't moving fast enough." "Had to send in a closer." "The ring will be here any minute." "That hot chick just smiled at me." "Oh, my gosh, she's coming over here." "What do I do?" "Just, just play it cool." "Let her come to you." "Is this what cool people do?" "Yeah, yeah, yeah." "Just, you know, kinda..." "Put out the vibe." "Make a move, walker." "We're wasting time." "Excuse me." "Is this seat taken?" "Help him out, chuck." "Uh.." "No, it's not." "It's not taken." "He was actually saving it for you, I believe." "Thank you." "Sarah." "Manoosh." "The ring's here." "Get him out back now!" "Manoosh, come here." "Where?" "Closer." "You got something on your lip." "Let me take it off." "You get him." "I'm gonna get the briefcase." "They're heading in!" "Hurry up!" "I want him alive." "Looks like our friend" "Manoosh here had one too many." "Wow, this is the best night of my life." "Nice job, walker." "Another geek bites the dust." "Wake up, baby." "Hi." "Where am I?" "My bedroom." "What, you don't remember?" "Guess you had one too many drinks, loverboy." "Did we..." "You know?" "Yes, and it was amazing." "Oh!" "It was so intense, we both just passed out." "I've never even spoken to a woman" "As beautiful as you before." "Why'd you choose me?" "Because there's something just so mysterious about you" "And sexy." "And you were telling me about your top secret work," "And secrets turn me on..." "It's a weapon!" "A new technology that'll change everything." "Tell me more." "Okay, but first," "I don't really remember much from last night." "Can we do it again so I'll never forget?" "Guys, this isn't working." "Is he gonna be okay?" "'cause that's, like, the fifth" "Tranq dart that he's taken." "How many can a normal person handle?" "As many as it takes for him to tell us" "What he's building for the ring." "They're "twilight" tranqs, chuck." "They don't do permanent damage." "They just make you forget what happened" "In the last five minutes." "Well, he's my asset." "I should've handled this." "Looks like he's ready for round six..." "Whoa-whoa, take it easy, tranqenstein." "Hello." "Chuck, it's manoosh." "Hey, manizzle." "How you doing, buddy?" "How was last night?" "I can't really remember, but judging" "By the fact that I'm hal f-naked in her bedroom right now," "I've gotta say you are singlehandedly" "The best wingman in the world!" "Well, thanks, buddy." "What can I say?" "I do have my skill sets." "Listen, um, you didn't happen to come across a briefcase" "At the mexican restaurant, did you?" "My entire life's work's in there." "Kinda freaking out." "No, no, no, no," "Your wingman saw that you left said briefcase" "And picked it up for you." "Oh, thank you, chuck." "Look, I've got a flight to catch." "Do you think you can meet me at the buy more" "In about a half an hour?" "Half hour?" "Not a problem." "Great." "Thanks." "Sarah..." "You in there?" "Oh..." "No, no, no!" "Langley said don't open it." "They're sending their own hazmat team." "But we don't have time to wait, casey." "Get your hand off of that." "Hmm, comic book, glasses, shirt..." "Bingo." "Guys, I'm not flashing." "Whatever it is, it's not in the intersect." "Oh!" "Easy, bartowski." "We don't know what this is." "You think it could be a bomb?" "I don't know." "But we're not gonna find out the hard way." "Okay, just meet manoosh at the buy more, and give him" "Back the briefcase, and act like nothing happened." "Wait." "What?" "Don't we need to replace it or something before we do that?" "I mean, imagine what the ring is gonna do to him" "If they find out he doesn't have it!" "Just don't think about it, chuck." "It makes being a spy a lot easier." "Dude, dude, I am freaking out." "What?" "Come here." "Come here." "Ellie found a baggage ticket from your paris mission." "I didn't know what to say, so I told her you were on a work trip." "I can't do this anymore." "I cannot lie to my wife." "I have to tell her the truth." "Look, you need to calm down, okay?" "You cannot tell her" "Anything." "I don't think you realize the gravity" "Of the situation that you are in," "But you know my secret," "And there are strings attached to that." "What strings?" "If ellie finds out," "Your lives are never gonna be the same." "They're gonna stick you both in witness protection," "And I don't think that you want that." "Look, buddy, I understand that the lying" "Is very difficult at this point right now," "But trust me, it gets easier." "Get down!" "Get down!" "Hey, hey, ellie." "Hi." "Um..." "What's going on?" "Chuck, look, I know that we're older," "And we don't have to tell each other" "Everything, but I found out about paris." "And I just..." "I don't know." "When did we start keeping secrets from each other?" "Well, the thing is I was, I was gonna tell you." "Um, it was a business trip." "This very eccentric customer came into the buy more" "And insisted that I do a home theatre install" "In his flat in paris." "So why keep that from me?" "Well, because I did such a good job," "He said I could use his flat for free for a week." "And I figured, well, you know," "Maybe you and devon could use a proper honeymoon." "And I wanted it to be a surprise." "Are you serious?" "Yeah." "Chuck, that is" "The sweetest thing!" "Oh, I'm sorry." "I'm sorry that I thought you were keeping secrets from me." "Told ya he's ready." "Kid's a good liar." "You taught him well, walker." "Please, ellie, brother-sister, there are no secrets between us." "Thank you." "Bye." "Bro, that was so cold-blooded." "How could you just lie to her like that?" "Ellie and I aren't kids anymore, all right?" "There are some things she's better off not knowing." "Manizzle." "Thanks, chuck." "You are a lifesaver." "Hey, what are friends for, right?" "We are friends, aren't we?" "Well, when I get back from this trip, I am going to be rich." "And then I'll start a company of my own," "And then we can work together." "Don't worry, I won't forget you." "Hello." "No, I told you," "I'm still working the kinks out." "Calm down." "You'll give yourself a heart attack." "Who was that?" "The putzes who hired me." "You know, I found out they're" "Paying me peanuts compared to what I can get on" "The open market." "But I'm no fool." "Anyway..." "Thanks, buddy." "Wait, wait, wait." "Um, uh..." "Before you go, let me get you some yogurt." "Because, you know, you can't travel on an empty stomach." "So stay here." "I'll be right back." "Okay, all right." "Not picking up any sign of ordnance." "Definitely not a bomb." "Guys, guys, we need to help manoosh, okay?" "The ring's gonna track him down, and if he doesn't" "Give that thing back to them, they're gonna hurt him or worse." "Cry me a river." "He's building a weapon." "He's no innocent." "He's served his purpose." "That's what an asset is." "Conduit to information, nothing more." "No more ducking us, manoosh." "Take us to your lab." "We want our weapon." "Wait, wait, wait." "Found something." "What is that?" "Anthrax?" "Agent orange?" "Okay, guys, fine." "Just, uh..." "Just let me put my shades on real quick." "It's really bright out." "U.V. Protection-- very important these days." "Shaving cream." "It was a decoy." "Then where is the weapon?" "They found manoosh." "He doesn't know who he's dealing with." "They're gonna kill him." "That's not the weapon." "Manoosh is the weapon." "He built a new intersect." "how did manoosh build an intersect?" "I thought my dad was the only one who knew how to do that." "Well, after 2.0 intersect was destroyed," "The ring lifted certain burnt components" "From a cia warehouse." "Manoosh must have reverse engineered it." "We need to find manoosh before the ring does." "He mentioned getting rich." "That he was going to sell it to the highest bidder." "I got something." "Manoosh just used his credit card to book a flight to dubai." "Why?" "What's in dubai?" "Weap-con." "The greatest weapons convention in the world." "I go every year." "I find it incredibly relaxing." "looks like I'll get to write this year's off" "As a business trip." "Come in." "Hey, morgan." "Uh, jeff said you wanted to see me?" "I did, I did, yeah." "Nothing urgent." "I just wanted to see" "How the buy more's treating you." ""swan lake."" "It's my favorite." "Mine, too." "Sans respirer's a classic." "I must have seen it like ten times." "12." "Yeah, I can't get enough of french new wave." "Huh." "Oh, have a seat, have s seat." "It's amazing how much we have in common." "Right?" "Yeah." "I just" " I love international cinema." "It's not just the cinema, it's the people and the culture." "Right?" "Uh, boy..." "Sadly, too many of my colleagues think that burbank" "Is the center of the world." "Yeah, chuck had never been to paris" "Until last week on that install." "Chuck went to paris?" "Oh, uh, right, I forgot, chuck told me to keep it quiet." "Everything's a little secret around here." "But of course, you know," "As you are the assistant manager." "Right, I am, of course, sure." "I know everything about chuck." "Well, do you mind telling me what goes on" "Over at that yogurt store?" "Because, um, um..." "He is..." "Okay, constantly running over there." "Yogurt store?" "Yes." "Uh, his ex works there." "He's having trouble letting go." "Um, morgan, hey, uh..." "What was it that you wanted to talk to me about?" "Nothing." "Paris." "Where else has he gone?" "Welcome to weap-con." "Bienvenidos, bonjour, as-salaam alaikum." "Ammo can be found in the west pavilion." "Explosive and short-range missiles are..." "Deadly pens." "I've got exploding pens, laser pens..." "Hey!" "Casey, no shopping." "We're here to find manoosh." "You sir, what kind of pen do you want?" "How much for the laser pen?" "Behold this beauty." "The em-50 mobile interrogation unit." "The most exclusive one of its kind," "The em-50 is nearly impossible to escape from." "You don't have time to get a prisoner to gitmo," "But you need to extract vital information," "This is your unit." "The presentation on stage four is about to begin." "Ladies..." "Please, have a seat, get situated." "Huh?" "Ladies, gentlemen," "Warlords, sheiks and huns." "I see some huns back there, don't I?" "Welcome to the future of warfare and weapons." "I have before me" "The most powerful weapon known to mankind." "That weapon, you ask..." "Is me!" "At this time yesterday, I was a pathetic weakling." "These bikini babes wouldn't even spit on me." "I have no muscle, terrible allergies" "And am completely uncoordinated," "But..." "Behold me now." "Moments ago, I was a 100-pound weakling." "Now a deadly kung fu expert." "Laugh if you will." "Do I have any volunteers?" "Maybe one of you apes thinks" "They can kick my ass." "Step back, ladies." "Thank you, thank you." "Imagine an entire army of men like me." "No training involved." "Just throw these glasses on any civilian and voila," "An army of instant warriors." "So call your banks, your kings," "Your dignitaries or what have you, 'cause we're going to start the bidding in five minutes." "And we're gonna kick this bad boy off" "At $50 million." "Thank you!" "Ooh, nachos." "He's my asset." "I'll handle this." "Don't get soft on him, bartowski." "The only way any of us are safe" "Is if he's under lock and key." "Well, fine." "I can control him." "Then do it." "Chuck?" "What are you doing here?" "I came to protect you, okay?" "To stop you from making a very horrible mistake." "I know about the glasses." "I know about the new intersect that you're building." "Who are you?" "I'm an agent with the cia." "So you were tracking me?" "This friendship is fake?" "Sarah?" "That wasn't real either?" "I'm sorry, okay?" "I really am sorry." "I'm not trying to hurt your feelings here." "I just..." "I can't let you do this." "These are bad people you're selling to." "Worse than a guy who pretends to be my only friend?" "Or a woman who pretends" "To have intercourse with me?" "The truth is, I don't need friends, chuck." "Not when I've got these." "Manoosh!" "Hello, manoosh." "We've been looking for you." "I believe you have something of ours." "Wow." "So now not only does the ring have both manoosh," "But also the new intersect that he's building." "That is just super." "Good thing I bought that laser pen" "From the japanese booth." "It burns through anything." "I thought sarah specifically said no shopping." "Just scootch over here, grab it with your mouth." "Come on." "Get your mouth over here" "And pull it out of my inside pocket." "Let's go." "Come on." "There we go." "Oh!" "Shh!" "Quiet!" "Right here." "Okay." "On the left." "Easy." "Okay, okay, okay." "Come on." "Shh!" "What do we" "Don't be shy." "Just get in there." "Yeah, that's it." "That's it." "Okay, ow, ow." "Easy!" "Don't bite me!" "I'm not biting you." "All right." "You got it?" "Uh-huh." "Just be careful of the button." "It activates the laser." "whoa!" "You aim carefully now, bartowski." "Don't you make me a eunuch." "Otherwise, I'll teach you the meaning of "eye for an eye."" "Get to work." "Easy." "I got it!" "Shh." "Give me that." "All right." "Here we go." "Here..." "Lasers." "Woman :" "Ammo can be found in the west pavilion." "Explosives and short-range missiles..." "Look, guys, I'll cut you a deal, huh?" "Half off." "No, you'll give it to us." "We don't need you anymore." "Yeah?" "Looks like you need me now."