"(HORSE NEIGHING)" "Can you hear me?" "You know, you had a nice, friendly warning to leave town while you were still ahead." "We had to stay up halfthe night, and bust our knuckles bare to the bone just because you two people can't seem to understand when people are trying to be nice to you." "We're sorry to inconvenience you." "Now, this is a real good road to Gila City." "Take it." "NARRA TOR:" "Hannibal Heyes and Kid Curry, the two most successful outlaws in the history of the West." "And in all the trains and banks they robbed, they never shot anyone." "This made our two Iatter-day Robin Hoods very popular with everyone but the railroads and the banks." "CURRY:" "There's one thing we gotta get, Heyes." "HEYES.' What's that?" "CURRY:" "Out of this business." "LOM:" "The governor can't come flat out and give you amnesty now." "First, you gotta prove you deserve it." "Ah, so all we have to do is just stay out of trouble till the governor figures we deserve amnesty." "But in the meantime, we'll still be wanted." "LOM:" "Well, that's true." "Till then, only you, me and the governor will know about it." "It'II be our secret." "CURRY:" "I sure wish the governor would let a few more people in on our secret." "NARRA TOR:" "Alias Smith and Jones, starring Pete Duel and Ben Murphy." "(PEOPLE CHATTERING)" "Call." "Two pair, aces." "Not good enough." "Three large jacks." "Well, at least let the rest of us get a look at them." "I think I'm gonna sit a few hands out, gentlemen." "Yeah." "I could use a drink, myself." "What do you want to do about it?" "I don't know." "Let's find out how much trouble we're buying first." "What'II it be, gents?" "Well, what've you got?" "Well, we got some real good whiskey and then we got the regular." "Well, what's the difference?" "Good whiskey comes in a clean glass." "Maybe a little later." "Is the owner around?" "Back yonder in the office." "Okay." "(KNOCKING ON DOOR)" "Come in." "Uh, we were told the owner would be in here." "I am the owner." "You're, uh..." "You're not what we were expecting, you know, running a place like this." "I assure you, you're not half as surprised as I am." "What can I do for you, gentlemen?" "We'd Iike to know ifthe two sharpies we're playin' with out there work for the house." "There are two fellas who are using a trick called "The Spread"" "at one of your poker tables." "Ifthat's house policy, well, we've learned not to fight it." "But if they're freelancing, well, that's another thing altogether." "You understand, ma'am?" "No, I don't understand." "I don't know what you're talking about." "Our games are honest." "I'm sure they are." "Thank you, ma'am." "Ifthat's what you think, that's all we need to know." "Back to donate some more?" "We're gonna try our best not to." "Here's five." "And five more." "Call." "Here's your five." "Fold." "Call." "Call." "Two." "Three." "Three more." "A nice one right down in the middle." "I'm gonna have to pass to the raiser." "Me, too." "$25." "Well, if I'd have hit it you'd have heard from me." "Here's 25." "Not me." "Three 10s." "No good." "Three kings." "Well, let's show 'em to..." "I hope you're not counting the king in his hand." "Move your hand another inch, I'm gonna blow a hole in it." "Unless someone's changed the rules ofthis game, you're each supposed to be playing with your own hand." "Easy, boys." "Easy." "Well, I'll be." "I guess this belongs to me." "How much you down?" "$40." "HEYES:" "And you?" "About 35." "Fifty-four exactly." "And I guess the rest of it belongs to us." "Hey, now, some ofthafs money we started with." "Yeah, we started..." "Now, boys, if I were you," "I would just call that the price of being delivered from sin." "And I'd get out of here right now, if I were you." "You gents got a minute?" "Miss Cunningham would Iike to see you in her office." "I really admired the way you handled that situation out there, mister..." "Joshua Smith." "And this friend of mine here is Thaddeus Jones." "Mary Cunningham." "Are you planning to stay long in town?" "No, ma'am." "We're just passing through to Clearwater." "Heard there's a cattle drive forming up there." "Cattle herding?" "That, uh, that can't pay very much." "$20 a month." "And it must be such hard work." "18, 20 hours a day in the saddle." "Couldn't you find any other kind of work?" "We try." "Well, now, it's not so bad, ma'am." "Fresh air, sleepin' out under the stars, canned tomatoes..." "I can see that it might be betterthan, uh..." "Oh, spending' the evening in a smoke-filled room, watching the tables all night and maybe $40 apiece a month?" "My husband died four months ago and left me this saloon." "I have two children to support, even though it's not exactly what I would've dreamed of, but I..." "Well, what else can I do?" "I have no other way of making a living." "I've tried to find a manager, but no luck." "I haven't done very well." "Not very well at all." "I watched the way you managed those two cardsharps and I thought, why couldn't you handle the saloon, just as well?" "Well, what kind of problems do you have, ma'am?" "To tell you the truth, I'm not exactly sure." "The place seems to be doing business, but we're not making money the way it used to from my husband." "And I..." "I thought ofjust selling the place out, but I can't find a buyer and I'm just getting desperate." "Desperate enough to make it $50 a month?" "Yes, Mr. Smith." "That desperate." "(PIANO PLAYING)" "(PEOPLE CHATTERING)" "Like yourjob?" "Yeah, sure." "Good." "You can keep it." "Till I spot you ringing in another agent." "Agent?" "You know who the blackjack agent is?" "So do I." "And I can spot the action all the way across the room." "We understand each other?" "Yeah, I guess we do." "Good." "Go back to work." "How'd we do, Mike?" "Oh, pretty good." "Pretty good, I'd say." "How you doin'?" "Me?" "(SCOFFS)" "I'm workin' my tail off as usual." "Pour you fellas a drink?" "No." "No." "Better pour yourself one though." "Haven't you noticed?" "I never drink when I'm back ofthe bar." "Pour it, I think you're going to need it." "You know, Mike, just from watching you a while, we figure you're stealing about $15 a night." "I'm what?" "Stealing, from Mrs. Cunningham." "That's a dang lie!" "Aren't you gonna drink that?" "I still say it's a lie." "AII right, maybe it's 20 a night." "We're not gonna argue about the amount." "That's your secret." "You mean you're gonna fire me?" "No, we're not sayin' that, Mike." "We're just saying we don't want you stealin' anymore." "It's gonna be tough stopping' you." "You've been bartendin' along while and this is only our third day at saloon managing'." "Yeah?" "I reckon you got a point there." "So what we're gonna have to do is make you pay for the privilege of workin' here." "Yourjob behind the bar there is gonna cost you $15 a night." "Starting tonight, payable to Mrs. Cunningham." "I don't see how you can steal more than that." "So, everybody will come out just about even." "(MIKE LAUGHING)" "You mind doing that someplace else?" "Trying to figure out these bills." "Well, I got to keep my hand in it, don't I?" "VVhy?" "With a little luck you won't have to use that anymore." "I know you keep sayin' that and I keep believin' you." "Somehow we just never seem to get that lucky." "I think she's bein' overcharged for cards and chips." "Way over." "Good morning." "Good mornin', ma'am." "I don't know how to account for it, but we did even better last night than we did the night before." "Do you know, ifthings keep going like this, we're going to be back to normal in a week." "I hope you two know how much I appreciate everything." "You saved my Iife." "Well, your saloon, maybe." "I bet you could draw that real fast." "Mmm-hmm." "I've had to make that bet a few times." "I'II bet you can't draw faster than the Sheriff." "Pretty good, is he?" "Real fast." "The Sheriff's not that fast!" "Nobody's that fast!" "Can you teach me how to do that?" "Yep." "I could." "But I'm not gonna." "You just saw how fast I was, didn't you?" "You know, there's somebody out there that's a lot faster." "Always is." "And I guess that someday I'm gonna find that out." "And so will you, if I teach you to fast-draw." "Come on, Tommy, it's time for lunch." "Thank you." "I thought you were just tellin' me how handy it is knowing' how to use one ofthose things." "When that kid grows up, people won't even be wearin' these things, much less shooting' them." "But in the meantime, people are just goin' around doin' both, so I guess I'II just keep carrying' my Iife right around with me in a holster." "What are you tryin' to say, mister?" "I said give me the deck." "Why should I?" "You want me to tell you right here?" "I think you better, and quick." "CURRY:" "AII right." "I saw you crease the corner of four cards with your thumbnail, probably the aces." "So, give me the deck." "You're gonna have to back that up, mister." "Glad to." "Give me the deck." "I don't mean with a deck of cards or your mouth!" "I'm talkin' about that gun you're wearin'." "Well, I don't want to kill you." "It'd be bad for business." "You done talkin' all you're gonna talk, mister?" "You ready to backup your mouth up now?" "(MEN EXCLAIMING)" "I'd Iike to retire this deck." "Is that all right with you, boys?" "Sure thing, Mr. Jones!" "AII right, forget I said anything this afternoon." "MIKE:" "Mornin', ma'am." "Mornin'." "Good mornin', ma'am." "Care to join us?" "You know, believe it or not, he makes some great ham and eggs." "I'm not hungry." "HEYES:" "What's the matter?" "Is anything wrong?" "Yes, I..." "Could I see you both in my office?" "I'm going to have to let you both go." "VVhy?" "Well, Ijust don't need you any more, that's all." "Just last night you were tellin' us you couldn't manage without us." "I know, but I've decided that I can manage on my own now." "Well, you're dead wrong." "You can't run this place without us." "Or somebody like us." "I don't wanna talk about it anymore." "I'm letting you go, and that's all there is to it." "AII right, Mary." "It was" "$50 a month apiece, wasn't it?" "We haven't even been here a week, Iet alone a month." "You've earned the money, please take it." "Please, take it." "AII right, all right." "We'll take it." "We'd rather have an explanation." "I can't talk any more now." "Goodbye." "The lady's in trouble." "I know." "Remember, trouble's one thing we've got to stay away from." "But I Iike her." "And I Iike her two kids." "Now, shut up." "Aren't you even curious?" "About what?" "About why she's so anxious to get rid of us." "Now, listen, that's her problem." "That's not our problem." "AII right, all right." "I'm curious." "Enough to stick around?" "(GRUNTS)" "Well, good afternoon." "Oh, hi, Mr. Finrock." "I'm surprised to see you two still in town." "Oh?" "Why?" "Well, I heard you aren't working at the saloon any more," "Ijust figured you'd be riding on." "No, we've taken a liking to this little town." "We figured there's a future here for us." "Oh, I should think you could find something better to do." "What could be better than building something with your own hands?" "And thumbs." "Uh-huh." "Well, good luck." "Do you get the feeling that he just didn't happen by?" "Yeah, I... (GROANS)" "It sure is good putting' in solid day's work on a honest job, isn't it?" "Not especially." "Yeah, but look at the appetites we've worked up." "I don't need to work to do that." "May I join you a minute?" "Sure." "Pull up a chair." "Have some coffee?" "No, no." "I..." "I'd Iike to get right to what brought me here." "What's that?" "You and your friend." "And your welfare." "You see, I really like you fellas and..." "Well, you saved me a lot of money in that poker game and I'm not gonna forget it." "So, that's why I'm telling you that you're wrong about this town." "There isn't any future for you in it." "I suppose you have a reason for thinking that way." "Mmm-hmm." "Are you gonna let us in on it?" "No." "We're just gonna up and leave town?" "Well, why not?" "After all, I've given you good advice." "The best." "Well, you're gonna have to do better than that." "AII right." "Let's try this." "Your real name isn't Thaddeus Jones." "And yours isn't Joshua Smith." "Perhaps that will tell you why it would be smart for you to leave." "Perhaps if you told us why you're so interested in our leaving, we might oblige." "I have told you." "Your welfare." "After all, I still am beholden to you about that poker game." "You will think about it, won't you?" "We'll think about it." "No hard feelings." "After all, I really am fond of you fellows." "No hard feelings." "That is the nicest I've ever been asked to leave town." "He was polite about it, wasn't he?" "Even if he was bluffing." "Bluffing?" "He may know that your name isn't Jones and my name isn't Smith, but he sure doesn't know what our real names are." "Because if he did he'd be leading us down to the Sheriff's office right now to collect the reward money." "But he does know your name isn't Smith and mine isn't Jones." "How?" "I don't know." "Maybe he's just guessing." "Well, we can't leave with that building only half-finished, can we?" "We sure can." "But we're not, are we?" "You know, there's a good chance I'm gonna run out ofthumbs before this building's half-finished." "Can you hear me?" "Can you hear me?" "And you can understand what I'm sayin'?" "You know, you had a nice, friendly warning to leave town while you were still ahead." "We had to stay up halfthe night, and bust our knuckles bare to the bone just because you two can't seem to understand when people are trying to be nice to you." "We're sorry to inconvenience you." "Well, I do hope you'll understand." "Take a kindness when it's offered to you." "We brought your horses." "Everything from your hotel room's packed in your saddlebags." "Now, this is a real good road to Gila City." "Take it." "What was all that he was sayin'?" "He's tellin' us how nice he's been to us." "I sure would Iike to pay back some of this kindness we got tonight." "You sure they don't know who we are?" "I'm sure." "I'm sure it's a good idea to go to Gila City, too." "But, we're not gonna, are we?" "Well, looks like you boys run into somebody that didn't fold quite as easy as I did." "Here, it's all on me." "If you'll tell me who'd done it to you, why, I'd Iike to buy him adrink, too." "I think he's a customer here." "He's a big fellow, got a moustache, brownish hair and a scar on his right cheek." "MIKE:" "Yeah, I know him." "Works at the Bar-T." "His name's" "AI Gorman." "You remember, you owe him a drink." "Yeah." "That's right." "(MIKE LAUGHING)" "(CATTLE LOWING)" "(MOOING)" "(HORSE NEIGHS)" "Can you hear me?" "Hey!" "Can you hear me?" "And you can understand what I'm saying?" "Well, first of all, we'd Iike to apologize for causing' you and your friends to lose your sleep last night." "And for makin' you beat your knuckles all sore on our heads." "It wasn't nothin' personal." "Just doin' ajob." "For who?" "Sam Finrock." "No." "Whoever hired Finrock hired you, too." "Who was it?" "I'm tellin' you all I know." "Sam Finrock hired me to get some men and move you down to Gila City." "You know, Mr. Gorman, we've got a problem." "We were talkin' about it on the way out here." "We're afraid we might not be able to be as kind and gentle with you as you were with us." "There's even a chance that we might get a little mean." "Now, we're fightin' it as hard as we can, but we just want you to know there is that chance." "Look, I'm tellin' you all I know." "I don't know about nobody except Finrock." "You wanna do the honors or should I?" "No." "You do it." "I can't get used to all that blood and those broken bones." "AII right!" "AII right!" "Somebody did hire Finrock and then me." "Who?" "Mary Cunningham." "HAYES:" "And don't think crying is gonna soften us up, because it isn't!" "We've been threatened, beaten up and dumped out of town" "like two sacks of bad feed." "We're not gonna take it any more!" "You hired Finrock and Gorman, didn't you?" "VVhy?" "You wouldn't have done it unless you were in trouble." "Now what is it?" "We're not leaving here until you tell us." "(SOBBING) No." "Now, that's not gonna work!" "Listen, what are you afraid of?" "Come on!" "Tell me!" "I can't tell you anything!" "Didn't it ever occur to you that I was trying to help you?" "Why didn't you tell us that when you fired us?" "I couldn't!" "You had no reason to stay here, why couldn't you just leave town when I let you go?" "(MARY SOBBING)" "Here, drink this." "It's all right." "It's all right, we know when we're licked." "We're not gonna ask you any more questions." "Pay $2 for a room, you hope to get a little privacy." "I would appreciate it if you would, uh, unbuckle your gun belts and drop them to the floor, please." "And now, if you could just kick them somewhere out ofthe way," "like under the bed." "Hmm?" "Thank you." "Now, I hope you don't mind my coming here like this, but I really do like you fellows and I thought I would just try one last time." "Why didn't you ride on to Gila City like you were told to do, hmm?" "No one would tell us why we should." "And we didn't like the way we were asked." "Well, Mary Cunningham told Gorman not to be rough on you, but I'm afraid he's the kind of a man who seems to get carried away with his work." "I hear you went to see him." "And you went to see Mary, too, hmm?" "What'd she tell you?" "Everything." "No." "She didn't tell you anything." "Poor girl, you must have upset her something awful." "Now, I do hope you're gonna stop all ofthis and start being reasonable, because I can't give you any more warnings and I can't keep on being friendly." "And if you don't get out of town real soon, both of you are going to end up dead." "Don't we even get to discuss it a little?" "I don't think you heard what I just said." "If you insist on being stubborn, someone is going to have you killed." "Now, did you hear me good that time?" "Good." "I really hate to see people I like getting themselves killed." "You know, Heyes, I've been thinkin'..." "Kid, we've had a pretty fair arrangement so far." "Let's keep it that way." "Finrock wasn't hired by Mary Cunningham." "And neither was Gorman." "AII right, who was he hired by?" "I don't know." "Well, think some more, about how important it is to know when you've had it." "Let's get a good night's sleep and ride on to Gila City in the morning." "I was gettin' a little tired ofthis town anyway." "Yeah." "You know, Kid, I didn't sleep very well last night." "Thinkin' about what you said." "You know, about Finrock and Gorman not working for Mary Cunningham." "Who are they working for?" "That's what kept me awake." "I think I just got the answer." "What's the name ofthis hotel?" "And the name ofthat land office?" "And the name of the general store?" "How many times have we heard the name Sloane since we've been in town?" "Quite a few times." "How many times have we seen this man Sloane?" "How do I know?" "I don't even know what he looks like." "Right." "Now a man as important as this Mr. Sloane, all he'd have to do is come walkin' down the street and all the bowing' and scrapin' would whip up a fair-sized dust storm." "Okay, you've got a point, what else you got?" "What else do you need?" "Is Mr. Sloane in?" "May I ask who's calling, please?" "Joshua Smith and Mr. Thaddeus Jones." "On business?" "Very important business." "Just a moment, please." "(DOOR CLOSING)" "Well, at least we finally found out what office he uses in town." "This way, please." "Thank you, ma'am." "SLOANE:" "You wanted to see me?" "Mr. Sloane, I realize you're a very busy man and we thank you for taking the time to see us." "I had to." "You've been asking for me at my land office, at my hotel, my general store." "If you meant to get my curiosity up, you sure did a good job." "You've got a pretty good little spy system goin' there for you, Mr. Sloane." "No, it's just one of the benefits you enjoy when you own half a town." "Well?" "I had an idea, Mr. Sloane." "Ijust decided it wasn't one of my better ones." "Well, tell it to me anyway." "Maybe I can help." "We had pretty good jobs over at the saloon and we were fired for no reason." "Then we didn't leave town fast enough and people have been beatin' on our heads and threatening' our lives ever since." "And you think I had somethin' to do with that?" "Well, Iike you said, you own halfthe town." "Well, if someone's threatened your life, that's against the Iaw." "If I were you I'd go to the Sheriff." "He's a good man, I handpicked him myself." "Thank you, Mr. Sloane, but there's no reason to bother him with our little troubles." "Besides, we're, uh, we're all ready to leave." "Thanks for taking the time to see us." "(PEOPLE CHATTERING)" "Well!" "I hear you boys is Ieavin' town." "It's too bad." "I sure hate to see you go." "Figured you would." "Been in this town a week and we don't see the man who owns half of it." "And in one day, we see him twice." "The man who owns the town?" "Yeah, Sloane." "He just went by in a hurry." "Mr. Sloane don't hurry nowhere." "That was Warren Epps, his bookkeeper." "(CREAKING)" "Well!" "Oh!" "Look who's callin' himself Willard R. Sloane." "I don't keep a gun in there, Heyes." "If you killed me now it'd be murder." "Flat out murder!" "I have always wondered what happened to you, PIummer." "Me and 12 other guys." "You remember?" "Remember I told you about my old pal, Jim PIummer?" "Uh-uh." "About 10 years ago." "Was the first bunch I ever rode with." "We robbed a payroll train and got jumped by a posse." "Had to split up." "Old Jim here was our leader, so he had the haul." "AII 30,000 of it." "And that was the last anybody ever saw of him, until now." "Some ofthe gang are dead, and some ofthem are in jail." "But there are still four or five ofthem riding' around." "Jim, can you imagine the pleasure they'd get finding you after all these years?" "Heyes, you never killed anybody in your life." "But you sure would be killin' me if you let out where I am." "Yeah." "I guess I would." "Maybe I'II just get word to the Iaw." "It wouldn't be killin' then, huh, Jim?" "The statute of limitations has run out on all the robbing' I ever did." "I'm in the clear now, not wanted for anything." "There you are, runnin' in luck again." "We're not clean like you are yet." "The Governor's promised us amnesty, but we've got to walk straight and narrow for a year or so before we can collect on it." "And hope that nobody grabs us in the meantime." "I could've done that!" "Tipped the Sheriff off about you, but I didn't, Heyes." "You gotta take that into account, right?" "Jim, please." "Don't try to chump me again." "You didn't go to the Sheriff because you don't want him asking' you how you know me." "If you give me your word, not to say anything to anybody," "I'II make it up to you." "I got four, five thousand, right here, in cash." "Can't do it." "That'd be, what?" "Extortion?" "Blackmail?" "Anyway, it's against the Iaw." "Ijust got through telling' you, we don't do that anymore." "So you'll kill me, huh?" "Just let Buck and Kresher and Longbill find me, huh?" "Uh-huh." "But then, maybe not." "What's Mary Cunningham got to do with any of this?" "Nothin'." "I loaned her some money when her husband died." "And when I told her to fire you, she finally agreed." "You know, Heyes, I think we ought to tell those boys where he is." "Sure we should." "But we're not." "Because you're gonna buy Mary Cunningham's saloon." "AII right, sure." "Just give me your word and it's a deal." "For $3o,ooo." "I feel sentimental about that figure." "Thirty thousand?" "Why not?" "It's a good saloon." "It's the best one in town." "I'm not sure I got 30,000." "In cash." "Well, raise it, Jim." "'Cause that's the deal." "We're lettin' you off easy." "Because you didn't tell the Sheriff about us." "(SIGHS)" "(DOGS BARKING)" "You think Sloane double-crossed us?" "No." "Ijust don't think he had time to call them off." "Ah!" "Smith, Jones." "I see you're finally leaving." "About that shooting, Ido hope you realize it was just a small error." "Yes, we finally figured that out for ourselves." "And you know, the boys had orders not to hit you, because as I've said..." "Yeah, I know." "You really do like us." "Goodbye." "I'm really sorry you have to leave like this." "Well, we had thought we'd try to find a town that was a little less exciting." "But you know now I had nothing to do with any ofthis..." "Well, that's except for letting you go." "And I was told..." "Mary, you don't have to apologize to us." "We know the whole story now, which is more than you know, right?" "Well, there are a few things that I don't quite understand." "Something happened this morning." "Something wonderful and strange." "I can take my children back East now." "And I think that you two had something to do with it." "Really?" "What happened?" "Willard Sloane bought the saloon." "Oh." "What's so strange about that?" "The price." "He paid me $30,000 for it." "Well, why not?" "The building alone is worth that much." "I know." "But I don't own the building." "Mr. Sloane does." "Well." "That is strange." "And wonderful." "Goodbye, Mary." "Kiss the kids goodbye forme, okay?"