"~~~Hey Oh, happy day, happy day~~~ -~~~ Oh, happy day~~~" "~~~ Oh, happy day, happy day~~~ ~~~ Oh, what a happy day~~~" "~~~ Oh, happy day, happy day~~~ ~~~ Ooh, ooh, ooh~~~" "~~~ Oh, happy day, happy day~~~ ~~~ Oh, yeah, yeah~~~" "~~~ Oh, happy day, happy day~~~ ~~~ Oh, what a happy day~~~" "~~~ Oh, happy day, happy day~~~ ~~~ Yeah, yeah~~~" "~~~Jesus,Jesus~~~ ~~~ Oh, myJesus~~~" "~~~Jesus,Jesus~~~ ~~~ Oh, myJesus~~~" "~~~Jesus,Jesus~~~ ~~~ Oh, myJesus lets mesee the way~~~" "~ Oh, happy day, happy day ~ ~ Oh, yes it is ~" "~ He taught me how ~" "~ To walk ~ ~ How to walk ~" "~ Fight and pray ~" "~ Fight and pray ~ ~ Yeah, yeah ~" "~ And then rejoice happy day, happy day ~" "[ Laughing ] ~~~~~~[Continues]" "[ Honking ] ~~~Happy day Oh, oh, oh, oh~~~" " Ooh !" " ~~~ Oh, happy day, happy day~~~" "Well, look what rolled in." "You know, at fii rst, I thought you was old-ass Raisinet riding on a skateboard." "I'd like to come over there and choke the life out ofyou right in front ofJesus." "Sweet Lord, give me strength." "Don't make me have to whup nobody's head in church." "Ignore him, Lord." "Ignore all his prayers." "He ain't nothing, never did nothing." "Give him a stroke or something." "[ Chuckling ] Do you, Sherman Klump ?" "Yes, I do." "Indeed, I do." "~ Oh, happy day, happy day Oh, happy day, happy day ~ ~ Oh, yeah, happy day ~~" "Happy day, happy day." "Happy day, my ass." "~~~~~~[ "Wedding March"]" "Oh, he lookhandsome." "[Chuckling]" "Oh, my baby's fii nally getting married." "Never thought I'd live to see the day." "Finally." "Oh, here she comes, here she comes." "I'm gonna cr." "I promised myself I'm wasn't gonna cr." "Now I'm gonna cr." "Yeah, all right." "Dynamite." "You may be seated." "Oh, thank God." "Oh, thank God." "Ialways knewhe'dfind the rightgirl." "Always knew." "You see the Indian in her cheekbones ?" "Ooh !" "Sherman, Sherman." "Sherman." "Sherman, Sherman, Sherman." "Sherman !" "Oh, Lord." "Shh, my baby's so stupid." "Dearly beloved, we have gathered here today... tojoin these two people in holy matrimony." " Praise the Lord." " The eminentscientist, ProfessorSherman Klump..." " Mm-hmm." " andhis longtimesweetheart," "Denise Gaines." "[ Sighing ] Oh, Sherman." "Ifanyone hasany reason why these two shouldnot be wed, let him speaknow..." "[Gasping] or forever hold his penis." " [ Gasping ]" " Oh, Sherman." " [ All Gasping ]" "That's it, son." "Show 'em what the Klumps are made of !" " Sherman, put that away." " Sherman, calm down, baby." "Save it forthe honeymoon." " Surprise !" " [ All Screaming ]" "[ Gasping ]" " [ Cackling ]" " Hey, Sherman, calm down, boy." "What's wrong with you ?" "[ Grunting ]" "[ Screaming ]" "[ Shouting ]" "[ Laughing Maniacally ]" " This is some scar shit." " Yeah, like The OuterLimits." "No, don't hurtyourself, baby." "You are coming with Buddy." " No !" "No !" " See you later, chunky butt !" "[ Cackling ]" "No !" "And then I wake up in a cold sweat." "How often do you have this dream ?" "More andmore lately." "You seem to be ver fond ofthis girl, Denise." "My God, she is so special to me." "But how's she gonna love me when I got Buddy Love inside me ?" "I wanna be perfect for her." "Perfect ?" "No one is perfect, Sherman." "You need to understand that Buddy Love is a representation... ofthe uninhibited, hedonistic id." " He is not a real person." " Buddy Love is real !" "Well, he was real, and he does take control of me sometimes." "You willneverlearn to controlhim..." "[Buddy's Voice] Sherman !" "untilyou accept the fact that he is apart ofyou." "Yeah, and the best part too !" "And I'll tell you something else, punk !" "All these diplomas on this wall don't make up for the fact... that you got a little Vienna sausage in your drawers." " Is that why they call you a shrink ?" " Shut up, fat a-  [Buddy Cackling]" " Sorr." "Yeah, yes." "Session got a little outta-- outta control." "You see, we all have a little Buddy Love inside us." "Yeah." "But we can't let him rule our lives." "You're in charge, Sherman." "Can you say that for me ?" "I'm in charge." "Can't hearyou." " I'm in charge." " Can't hearyou !" "I'm in charge !" "Sorr about that." "[ Glass Shattering ]" "Yeah." "Klump in charge !" "I'm in charge !" "He's right." "I am in charge." "Klump in charge." "Yes, indeed." "Good afternoon, ladies." "Yeah." "Hey, Professor Klump." "How's it going ?" "Fantastic." "How about yourself?" "Yeah." "Klump in charge." "[ Chuckling ]" "Afternoon." "Good day." "Hi." "How you doing ?" "[ Woman Chattering ] Wonderful day." "[ Chuckling ]" " Beautiful day, isn't it, Professor ?" " Bite me, old hag." "Oh !" " What ?" " Uh, uh, I said, he likes me." "Look at him wag." "[Chuckling] Hey, little fella." "See that little tail wagging ?" "Have a good day." "I'm in charge." "My goodness." "Kinda hot today, huh, Professor ?" "You have no idea how hot it is." " Hot !" "Nice and hot !" " Oh, Professor !" "I loved your lecture the other day." "Oh, thankyou." "Thankyou so much." "[ Clears Throat ]" "You're the man." "You're the man." "I'm in control." "Yeah, keep tellin' yourselfthat, bubble butt !" " [ Gasps ] - [ Cackling ]" "It is theoretically possible to isolate the elements... ofan individual's genetic makeup and separate them." "Nowsomeday, we may be able to locate an unhealthy risk factor in ourDNA andremove it." "[ Clears Throat ] Excuse me." "Beg your pardon." "[Continues Lecturing] I'm sorry." "Excuse me." "[Student Groaning]" "[MuffledScreams] [ Klump Chattering ]" "Whether this is advisable is another question entirely." "[Man] Oh, my eye !" "Oh, Professor Klump." "Oh !" "Professor Gaines, how are you ?" "I was hoping I might be able to sit in on your lecture." "I'm sure we can accommodate you since you were so quiet coming in." "[ Chuckling ] Well, it's ver hard to be quiet... when you're lecturing on genomic extractions." "I think it's ver exciting." "Oh, lagree completely." "Something about the way the nucleotides cohere with the target sequence." "Yeah." "I always say, ifyou can't be with the nucleotide that you love, cohere with the one you're with." " [ Laughing ] - [ Laughing ]" " Yeah." " Uh, anyway as I was" "[BellRings] Uh, I want those lab reports on my desk." "No excuses." "I'll see you next time." "Professor Gaines." "Oh, Professor Klump." "Yeah." "[ Chuckling ]" "Um, yes, I was, um-- I was wondering ifyou had a-- [Man Clearing Throat]" " Dean Richmond, we were" "Just having... a little chat." "Don't be bashful, ProfessorGaines." "Pound for pound, this big lug's the greatest scientist on the planet." "Andlet's be honest, poundforpound, he is aplanet." "That's said with love." " Did you get those goo-goo clusters I sent you ?" " Yes, I did, thankyou, but I'm on a diet right now, so I can't eat 'em." "Andit's working beautifully." "No, I'm tellingyou." "When I came in, with this light and in that outfiit, you could really think for a second that" "[ Laughing ] Anyway, you said you had something to show me." "I am so excited about this, Dean." "You will be too." "You got that ?" "Come on." "Jason, where's our patient ?" "Right here, Professor." "Come on, boy." "[Barking]" "[ Klump ] Now this is Buster." "Buster suffers from acute arthritis and diminished vision, which are both signs ofadvanced aging." "We're gonna see ifwe can flix all of Buster's problems right now, aren't we, Buster ?" "Yes, we are." "This little experiment... makes use ofProfessorGaines's brilliant research ongene targeting." "Now, if I've composed this formula properly, this should be most impressive." "[ Laughing ]" "All right, Buster." "[ Speaks Italian ]" "Jiminy freaking Cricket !" "[ Barking ] [ProfessorGaines] Sherman, this is amazing." "You'vejust discovered-- The fountain ofyouth." "This is huge." "Doyou have any idea whatyou've done ?" "This is unbelievable." "We're rich." "We're gonna have every pharmaceuticalcompany in the world... lining up to throw money at us." "Ofcourse, it all has to be properly tested fii rst." "Exactly, yes." "He makes an interesting point." "Here's another." "Shut up !" "Besides, look at the little fella." "He can lick his own winky again." "[ Laughing ] There's not a guy in the world who wouldn't wanna do that." "[ Groans ] Klump !" "Dean Richmond !" "The effect is only temporary." "I'm sorry, sir." "You're sorr ?" "Oh, my goodness." "I'm just tring not to think where that tongue has been !" "You all right ?" "[ Groans ]" "Klump, party ofsix, please." "Yes, and we're hungr." "Mama, you know, you really look good." "Have you been losing weight ?" "Oh, thankyou, baby, no, but I'm getting ready to start a new diet." "Have some ofthis ambrosia." "I don't even like ambrosia." "Don't tell me you don't like ambrosia." "You had some before, and you liked it." "Have some adventure !" "Oh, now I'm a child-- I don't know what I like." "...for the all-girls soccer team." "Let me get that foryou." "Oh, my baby's so gallant." "Sherman, come here." "And it's called "All the porkyou can eat" diet." "You can have all the pork you want." "You can have ham, bacon, sausage." "I got the wrong thing." "Take that." "Thankyou." "Now I got a full portion." "Whateveryou wanna eat, just as long as you have three glasses of grapefruit juice afterwards... because the grapefruitjuice breaks down all the unwanted" "[ Gasps ] Get away from there !" "Stop that !" "Baby !" "Honey, get the baby." "He's a boy, andboys don't be doing stufflike that." " Hey !" "Get your ass-- [ Mumbling ]" " What ?" "Please teach that boy manners." "He ain't gonna be acting like no hooligan with me." "That was a spoon or fork ?" "That was a spoon." "All right." "Boys willbe boys." " Boys will be boys." " [ Sniffii ng ]" "Oh, this looks fabulous." "Yeah, it looks really good." "How about getting another bottle of red over here ?" "Getsome more wine." "Hey, Ernie, maybe you wanna pace yourself and take it easy, huh ?" "Pace myself?" "Hey, this is a celebration for Daddy retiring." "We owe it to Daddy togetshit-faced, andl'm gonnagetshit-faced." "By the way, congratulations, Mr. Klump." "She's so polite." "Look here, Denise, you have to stop that "Mr. Klump" stuff... 'cause I've been hearing that for the last year or so, and I'm starting to feel old." " lain 't an oldman." " You is an old man." "Ah, shit, Grandma, what's wrong with you ?" "If it isn't the Alzheimer's Express right on schedule !" " Stop that !" "Hi, Mama." " She drove right on my bunion." "Y'all have to excuse me for being late." "Ifyou weren't my grandmother, boy-- Ifyou weren't my grandmother !" "Me and Isaac started getting kinda frisky in the car." " Ooh !" " Had to give him a little appetizer." " [Coughing]" " Ooh, Mama." " I just lost my damn appetite." " Mama, your dress is undone." "Let me zip you up." "Hurry." "Zip herup in the back before shestarts looking... like one ofthem Zulu hags on the cover of NationalGeographic." " Clesius, what's wrong withyou ?" "That's my mother." " Like that movie, Shaka Zulu." "You know something, Clesius ?" "Come on." "Come on right now !" "I'm gonna tell you something." "I got a razor in this bag." "Oh, yeah, I'll tellyou what." "That ain 't even no bag in yourhand." "That'syourtitty." "Clesius !" "Oh,Jesus !" "She's an old bag with old bag titties." "Clesius, you out ofyourmind?" "He called your grandma's titty a bag." " Death !" " Clesius Marcellus Klump." "lfit isn 't the world's oldest living Negro ?" "[Laughing]" "Hey, how are things going on the Underground Railroad, Isaac ?" "Oh, Clesius, please, be nice to Mr. Isaac." "Goodevening, Mr. Isaac." "Come on and have a seat." "Good evening, Mr. Isaac." "How you doing tonight ?" "Isaac knowl'm playing." "lplay with Isaac all the time." "You knowl'm messing withyou." "Oh, yeah, you say what you wanna say, but Isaac's still like a Brahma bull when it comes to relations, right, baby ?" "You know what they say ?" "You're as young as you feel." " Well, I must be 1 97." " Klump, funny youshouldsay that." "Denise and I have been doing some research on aging, which has proven to be promising." "[Baby Belching] Ooh, Baby, don't belch in public." "Grandma don't wanna hear all that nastiness." "He bringing the bass, huh ?" "You plan to eat, you gonna be belching, coveryour mouth." "Hey, look, your grandpa ate a whole plate of beans, you don't see me doing the ol' butt trumpet, do you ?" "Thank the Lord." "We don't have to hear all that nasty imagery." " Butts and trumpets." " I'm gonna tell my grandson what I wanna say." "Hey, can we get some toothpick ?" "Some toothpick !" "[ContinueArguing]" "If I wanna put a trumpet in my ass and run around this restaurant and blow..." ""Hallelujah, Yankee Doodle," that's my business !" "All I'm hearing is trumpets and asses." "I don't wanna hear that." "Hey !" "You watch it now." "You reach over here again, you gonna pull back a nub." " [ Laughing ]" " Oh, Clesius, she's flier." "I like that." "Tell me, don't touch the chicken." "Don't be hitting on people." "ldon't begetting hit on, Sherman, you knowthat." "Better eat up, Isaac, 'cause you gonna need your strength." "Yeah, later on, me and Isaac gonna watch Mating Season on theSerengeti." " Oooh !" " Don't take a lot to get Isaac going." " Time out !" "Let me call a time out on that." " Lord, my, my." " I don't wanna hear about you old-ass geriatrics." " Oh, yeah, Clesius ?" "Me and Isaac might be dried-up geriatrics, but ain't nothing wrong with Isaac's love tackle." " Ooh, Mama." " Oh, snap now." "Hmm ?" "What's the matter, Clesius, cat got your tongue ?" "Step on a nerve, Clesius ?" "I get you." "Got you, got you." "Got ya !" "[ Clears Throat ] These potatoes sure are scrumptious, aren't they ?" " Ain't that a kick in the head." " Yes, they're scrumptious, aren't they ?" "Potato, my ass." "Ain't that a kick in the head ?" " What that piece ofspaghetti remind you of?" " [ Gasps ] Oh !" " Oh, Grandma, now, come on." "That's enough now." " Sure enough." "Maybe Mr.Johnson, perhaps ?" "[Sherman Clears Throat]" " [ Sighs ] Oh, Lord have mercy." " Let me tell you, old woman." "What ldo in my bedroom is my business." "You understand?" "Only thing you do in your bedroom is pull the lint offyour scrotum." " [Clesius] Nowit'sgetting thick." " See ?" "That's the laststraw." "[ Overlapping Shouting ]" " I think I'm gonna propose a toast." " Let's make a toast." " To Daddy." " Hear!" "Hear!" "After 35 years of hard work in the construction business, Thirty-fiveyears !" "Daddy's gonna fii nally get a chance to relax." " Finallygonnaget to relax." " This is true." " Damn right." "And I'd like to say in front ofeverbody here tonight" "[ Buddy's Voice ] When you gonna stop jiving and tell everbody you got laid off ?" " [ Gagging, Coughing ]" " Oh, my God." " [Buddy Cackling]" " He's choking." " [ Continues Gagging ]" "Hey, somebodyput the "Hemlock" on him ?" "Putyourarm up !" "The "Hemlockmove. " Give me a knife andstraw. I'm gonna give him a tracheotomy." "iseen them do it on E.R." " [ Flatulence ] - [PatronsScreaming]" "It's allright, folks." "Everything's undercontrol." "Clesius." "No, Clesius." "Where you going ?" "Sherman !" "Clesius !" " Dad, whereyougoing ?" " Daddy !" " Oh !" "Now you see what you did, Joe College ?" "You done messed up the whole party." "[ Sighs ]" "Jason, I just know I'm not the one saying all those awful things." "It was him." "You may be right, Professor." "Take a lookat this reading." "Right there." "Recombining with the gene that governs testosterone production." "Buddy Love." "I told you." "That's Buddy Love." "[ Barking ] [Sherman] Don'tpanic." "Allright." "We should be able to get rid of him." "According to Denise's theories, we should be able to isolate that gene and extract it." "No, no way." "Professor, whatyou're talking about is extremely dangerous." "Those traces ofBuddy must've been inyoursystem this whole time." "You've been able to keep them under control." "Not anymore." "He's back now." "He's coming back 'cause he knows I'm happy and he wanna ruin everthing." "Yeah, but he is not a he." "He is a gene." "He'sjust part ofyou." "Oh, no, he's not." "Am I interrupting ?" "Oh, uh, not at all." "We werejust doing some last-minute tests on Buster." "Yeah." "[ Whimpers ]" "Uh, Sherman, can I talk to you in private forjust a second ?" "Sherman, I got a call today, and, well, I've been offered a full professorship at the University of Maine." "University of Maine ?" "But, Denise, that's in Maine." "Yeah." "Oh." "Well, uh, that's a fil ne department over there in Maine." "It is gonna be a... tremendous loss to Wellman, though." "Well, I haven't decided to leavejust yet." "You haven't ?" "Well, no, I mean" "There's something ver important to me here, and I'm not so sure I can just leave it behind." "Well, Denise, you can fil nish the research we started on your own." "Sherman, I'm not talking about research." "Really ?" "Sherman, you're ver special to me." "Oh, well, uh, I didn't... thinkyou and I would ever-- ever" "[ Clears Throat ] because of" "How can I put it ?" "Because I'm-- Big." "Yeah." "I was gonna say fat, but, yeah." "Big is better, yep." "[ Chuckling ]" "Sherman, that doesn't matter to me." "What matters to me is that... you're kind and decent." "You are..." "the most brilliant man I've ever known." "Uh, speaking ofwhich, I shouldn't keep you from your research, so, um, I'll talk to you later." "Okay, I'll see you soon." "[ Clears Throat ]" "My goodness." "[Buddy Cackling]" "Professor?" "You okay ?" "Yeah." "I just don't wanna hurt her,Jason." "Then you won't." "Hey, you can controlBuddy." "You know, it's funny how you get used to certain things in life, you know ?" "You get used to being overweight." "I know I did." "You even get used to people making fun ofyou." "Somewhere along the line, I got used to being alone." "And I just don't wanna be alone anymore." "[ Sighs, Chuckles ]" "[ThunderRumbling]" "[ThunderRumbling]" "[Sherman] Denise!" "Denise!" "Oh, Sherman, the flowers are beautiful." "But what are you doing down there ?" "Please, come inside." "Just a minute." "Let me do something fii rst." "Come here, guys." "~~~~~~[Mariachi]" "Denise, I just wanna say that... working alongside you this past year, getting to know you and be close to you-- it's been the most wonderful time of my life." "[ Together ] ~ The most wonderful time of his life ~" "How lovely." "[ Laughing ]" "[ Giggling ] [Stammering] I'djust like to say that-- it doesn't matter ifyou wanna take that otherjob or ifyou wanna stay here." "What matters to me most is thatyou're happy." "Denise, I have something that I wanna askyou." "~ He wants to askyou ~" "Denise-- Denise Gaines" "Yes, Sherman ?" "Denise, willyou" "Well, ask her !" "Denise, will you-- [Buddy's Voice] Hey, Sherman." "You hearme, Sherman ?" "Denise, willyou-- willyou... let me come up there and put my beef in your taco ?" " ~~~Put the beefinyourtaco~~~" " What ?" "[Buddy Cackling] Oh, no, no, no, no !" "That's not what lmeant to say, Denise." "That wasa littlejoke." "A littlejoke." "I wanted to see ifyou wanted to go out and get Mexican food." "That's why lsaid that." "Well, I am kinda hungr, but I'm not" "Yeah, you are, huh ?" "lbetyou couldstandfor a big ol' Whopperright now." "~ A big ol' Whopper right now ~" " You're sick !" " I got to tell you, I'm aJumboJack man myself." "Yeah, and I'm loaded with secret sauce." "Yeah !" "Come on !" "Back that thang up !" "Yeah !" "Come on !" "Come on !" "Yeah !" "Yeah !" "Come on !" "Make it funky !" " [Yelling] - [ Men Yelling ]" "You're gonna ruin my lawn, you pervert !" "Put on thegoodass !" "Sherman, idon't know what'sgotten intoyou, but ldon't like it at all!" "[Buddy's Voice] Hah, way togo, Sherman !" "Oh, my goodness !" "You haven't seen the last ofme, Sherman !" "Oh, my goodness, what'd I do ?" "Denise !" "Denise !" "[Buddy's Voice] I'm gonnapee on myself." "I'm gonnapee inyourpants !" "[ThunderRumbling]" "Okay, Buddy, it's time foryou to go." "[ Groaning ]" "[ Screaming ]" "~~ [ Humming ]" "[ Sniffii ng ] That's sexy." "~ You-ou-ou've got the magic touch ~" "~ Ooh, hoo ~ Hey, what you playing that for ?" "I thought it'd be soothing." "It'd be soothing ifyou turned that shit off so I can sleep." "Oh, Clesius, you haven't even looked at me." "I know what you look like." "We married for 44 years." "I look at you ever day, all day long." " I knowjust what you look like." " Clesius, please, look at me !" "Damn." "Now here we go." "You got a show tonight ?" "What you got that on for ?" "Well, ifyou don't know after 44 years of marriage, I don't know what to say to you." "You should say good night and take that damn rag off that lamp before we burn something down." " Hell." " [Needle Scratching Record]" "There !" "What about Viagra ?" "Viagra don't work for me." "I've been taking 'em like MM's." "Look, Clesius, maybe it's psychosomatic." "I seen on Oprah once that this happen to men after they get fii red." "Um, Imean, retired." "You know, sometimes you loseyourself-esteem." "Lose self-esteem ?" "I ain't lost no self-esteem." "You're alwaysyapping about it." "You won't neverlet up !" "Forget it !" "You're like a broken record." "Ever time I turn around, "Clesius, how you feeling now ?"" ""You got the groove now ?" Ever time I walk in the room," "I don't even wanna hear it." "you shake your ass, tring to get me stimulated." "Go to sleep, please." "Let it happen naturally." "Never mind, Clesius !" "Never mind !" "I mean, I'm sorr to yell and scream, but you got too much pressure on me !" "You want tenderness ?" "Ease up on the pressure." "Too muchpressure forme." "[BedCreaking]" "[Grandma] Slowit down, Isaac." "No, no, baby, I'm overhere." "Now, there they go." "Now, you're fine now." "Isaac, you're a champion." "That's your old-ass mother." "Hey !" "My mama has a healthy libido." "Gotta slowit down !" "Iain 't taking nobody to the emergency room tonight!" "Somebody break theirleg, gonna stay broke this time." "[Grandma] Isaac!" "Bingo." "Pokeno." "Professor?" "Professor?" "Hey." "Professor?" "Hey, Professor!" "Wake up." "Oh." "Oh,Jason." "My God, what happened ?" "[ Grunting ]" "Buddy." "I had to get rid of Buddy." "What ?" "He had to go." "You could've killed yourself." "I mean, who knows ?" "This could affect your coordination, your neurological system." "It could even affect your intelligence." "We don't even know ifthis is gonna work." "Only one way to fii nd out." "Okay, Sherman, what is this about ?" "Denise." "I'm sogladyou came." "You know, I almost didn't come." "Well, I'm awfulglad you did." "Listen to me, Denise." "Listen." "You know, fii reflies, when they're searching for a mate, the way they findone another is they emit apheromone, and I've synthesized it into a spray form." "Wait a minute." "You brought me out here for an experiment ?" "Denise, wait, please !" "Just hear me out !" "Please, don't leave." "Sherman, why did you act that way the other night ?" "Well, Denise, when I found out that you might be leaving, itjust got me all messed up inside." "I said some things I really didn't mean at all." "It was-- lt waslike there wasanotherperson inside me... who didn't appreciate how wonderful you are to me and how special you are to me." "And-And-- But thatside ofme isgone now." "lgot rid ofthatperson forever." "You'llneversee that ugly face again." "ljust wantyou to knowthat forsure." "That's why I wanted you to come out here tonight." "Just-J ust bear with me, please." "Hope my little friends might be able to... say it better than me." "Yes, Sherman Klump, I will." "Will you really ?" "Really ?" "Really." "Yes." "I will." "I really will." "You will ?" "Yeah !" "Yeah !" "[ Laughing ] Yeah, yeah, yeah !" "Come on, Buster." "Time to go home." "That's right." "That's right." "Time to go home." "Now wait." "Sit." "Good boy." "Wait for Uncle "J." Stud." "Buster!" "Hey, Buster, where'dyougo, boy ?" "Here's agoodboy." "Ohhhh, Sherman, Sherman, Sherman !" "My baby's fii nally getting married, married, married !" "Oh, Sherman !" "I'm so happy foryou, Sherman." "You're fii nally gonna get some." "~ Tell me something good ~" "Whoo !" "~ Tell me that you love me, yeah ~" "[ Giggling ] ~~~ Tellmesomething~~~" "~~~ Good~~~ ~~~ Oh, baby, baby~~~~~~" "Come on now, dance with me, girl." "You look fantastic." "[Both Laughing] lfyou two can stop getting alljiggy with it, perhaps I can give you something to really celebrate." "Oh, yes, sir." "Yes, Dean, what's that ?" "Oh, nothing much." "A letter from Phleer Pharmaceuticals, largest drug company in the world." "I told them about your little discover, and they made a preemptive offer." "Not too shabby, eh ?" "A hundred and fiifty million dollars !" "[ Laughing ] Oh, my God, Sherman !" "A hundred and fiifty million dollars !" "Oh, my goodness." "lsn 't that wonderful?" "Now, remember, that money belongs to Wellman." "All you have to do is prove to Phleer the formula works at the press conference I set up." "Yeah !" "Of-Ofcourse." "$1 50 million-- my mind's all scribble-scrabble." "Oh, Mama, lcan't wait to see whatshe looks like in my old wedding dress." "I can't wait to see, Mama." "She gonna" "Oh !" "[Clapping Hands]" "[Laughing]" "Oh, seeingyou in that dress take me right back to the time Igot married." " It's beautiful." " Oh, you look wonderful." "Show Mama what you look like." "Mama, look at this." "Oh, you look so lovely." "Oh, be careful now." "She looks fabulous in it, don't she, Mama ?" "Look at her." "Denise, you still remember what I told you about marital relations ?" "Oh, Mama." "Denise, look." "Tr this pie." "I made it with Snickers." "Now, don't be shy." "Come on over here." "Oh, that's pretty." "Okay, ifyou get bored with your man, it'sperfectly okay topicture someone else's headon his body." "Right." "Ooh, you got a little waist, girl." "That's right." "That gentleman, Stone Phillips, on NBC." "You know, Granny, I really don't think I need to do that." "Isaac, you don't need to hear this." "It's private." "It's private !" "We gonna talk girl talk now, baby." "From time to time, lhave fantasies about Stone Phillipsfrom NBC." " Mama." "Mama, quiet." " It's true." "It's the same dream all the time." "I'm in a tobacco barn." "Stone Phillips is my coworker, andhe don't neverhave on no shirt in the dream, andl don't neverhave on nopants." "It's the nougat that makes it chewy." "And I stand on this ladder," "Stone Phillipsget a littlepeek ofheaven Igot up myskirt." "I invite him up the ladder, he come up the ladder and throw me on the tobacco." "And we startgoing at it like two mice." "Stone, Stone, Stone." "Mm !" "Oh, I think that's a wonderful fiit." "I do too." "Oh, you're so sweet." "Sherman and Denise !" "Sherman and Denise !" "Marriage, marriage, marriage, marriage, marriage." "Theygonnaget married, Mama." "Ooh, I'm so happy." "Welcome back." "Marriage, marriage, marriage, marriage." "~~~Nutty, nutty, nutty my love foryou~~~" "~~~ican't believe my dreams come true~~~" "~~~l've finally foundsomebody whose heart is true~~~" "~~~Andbest ofallisyou're nutty, nutty, nutty forme~~~" "~~~ Whoa, whoa Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa~~~~~~" "Well, well, well, we've seen quite a bit ofeach othertoday." "Now strip down to your shorts." "Right." "lsupposeyou thought I was gonna object to a strip search, didn 'tyou, Chief?" "[Buddy] Keepyourclothes on, please." "Don't nobody wanna see that!" "[Buddy Cackling]" "Here's my wallet." "Why don't you check foryourself?" "[Buddy Continues Cackling]" "Yeah, hold that stomach in, Robert !" "[Continues Cackling] What's his problem ?" "I don't know, but enough is enough." "Excuse me, sir." "Young man, willyouplease keep it downjust a little bit 'cause we're trying to watch" "Just when you thought it was safe to go back to the theaters." "Hello, fat ass !" "[ Cackling ]" "Maybe we should get going." "I don't feel too good all ofa sudden." "Let's go." "Come on, let's go somewhere else." "Sherman, who was that ?" " I don't know." "I didn't really get a good look at him." " Sherman !" "Sherman Klump !" "You still been hitting them Happy Meals." "You haven't changed an inch." "You remember me" " Buddy Love." "We used to both chase that girl, Carla, at the same time." " You ever hit that ?" " Miss Purty and I werejust friends." ""Just friends"-- I guess that means you didn't hit it, huh ?" "Who's your new friend ?" "She sure is fii ne." "Yes, fii ne." "What's your name ?" "Sherman, suddenly I don't feel so well." "Can we leave, please ?" "Yes, let's go, please." "Can I talk to Sherman for one second ?" "Then you can have him." "Onesecond, please." "Igotta talk toyou." "We gonna have a little boy talk." "Excuse us." "Sherman, how you doing, baby ?" "What do you want here ?" "A little respect." "You left me all by myself in that test tube... without a card or a letter, and now I want a divorce." "And this is a community property state, so I want my share." "Want your share ofwhat ?" "The youth formula we invented !" "You mean, the youth formula that I invented." "Oh, no way, Buddy, no way." " Who you grounding, fat boy ?" "You grounding me ?" " lhaven't grounded" " I was hoping we could do this like gentlemen." " Come on, Sherman." "You're gonna make me do something nasty to you, Sherman." "I'll do something nasty." "Sherman !" "Seeyousoon, Sherman !" "Sherman !" "Sherman !" "What the hell are you looking at ?" "Oh, thankyou, Sherman." "What else did I get from Sherman ?" "What does this say ?" ""Phleer Pharmaceuticals." $1 50 mill-- $1 50 million." "[ Laughing ] I think Buddy's going shopping." "[ Panting ]" "Professor, I got here as fast as I could." "I've got to hide this formula before Buddy gets to it." "Goodidea." "I found something I thinkyou should look at." "When I left here last night, everthing was fil ne." "I mean, this was not here." "Good Lord." "Buddy must've recombined from the genomic sequence I extracted." "This doesn't make any sense." "He'sjust a fragment of genetic information." "He's nothing without a strand of DNA to graft himselfonto." "Where-Where did he get it ?" "Mm." "Just a second here." "Buster !" "Thankyou so much." "Leanne Guilford." "President ofAcquisitions." "Buddy Love, president of Love Industries." "[ Sniffii ng ] Allergies ?" "No." "Do you have a dog ?" "Yes, I do-- a Yorkie." "Oh." "She's driving me crazy right now." " Bitch." " Excuse me." "It's a female dog that you have, and she's in heat, right ?" "Yes." "How did you know that ?" "Let'sjust say I have a sixth sense about those things." "Is this her ?" "Yeah, little Courtney." "[ Clears Throat ] Ooh, nasty." "Mr. Love, maybe we'd better do this another time." "No, this is the perfect time." "Let's do this right now." "This is the perfect time to talk about my youth formula." "We are already committed to purchasing Professor Klump's formula." "Oh, Professor Klump's formula ?" "That's if it works." "Let'sjust that although he's a brilliant scientist, at times, he can be unstable." "Yes." "Huh." "Interesting." "Yes, now, my formula works... and can be yours for the price of $1 49 million, ifyou act now, pretty lady." "Forgive me for being blunt, but you don't expect me tojust take your word for it, do you ?" "Oh, no, not at all." "Just say when, and I'll make it available to you." "All right." "If Klump can't deliver and you can prove your formula's better, Yes ?" "Phleer would have to seriously consider it." "Is that right ?" "I've got to go to a meeting." "Can we reschedule for later ?" "We certainly can." "Good." "How about Wednesday, 7:00 ?" "Perfect." "Wednesday at 7:00." " Bring the formula." " Yes." "Excuse me." "Where's your restroom ?" "Down the hall, to the left." "Thankyou." "You fii nished with this ?" "Sure." "[ Sniffii ng ]" "Whoo, whoo !" "What the hell you looking at ?" "Huh ?" "Oh !" "GoodGod!" "What "good God" ?" "I went on the paper !" "Genetic anomalies can occur... in any living organism through-- through" "Come on now, people." "Spontaneous mutation." "Now what is it that ourgenetic codes can determine about us ?" "Miss Tate ?" "Uh, they can determine... whetheryou have blue eyes or pouty lips or a cute butt." "Stufflike that." "[Students Laughing]" "Right, right, precisely." "Ver good." "But what about random nucleotide polymorphisms, Professor ?" "Excellent question." "Random nucleotide polymorphisms" "Random nucleotide polymorphisms" "Random nucleotide-- [Clears Throat]" "I ain't got a clue." "[ Laughing ]" "[ Screaming ]" "Who knows ?" "This couldaffect yourcoordination, yourneurologicalsystem." " lmean, it could even affect yourintelligence." " What was I talking about ?" " Genetic anomalies." " Yes, genetic anomalies." "As I was saying" "Thinkyou're prettysmart, huh, Molly ?" "Notgonna beat me again." "[Groans]" "[ Groans ]" "[ Sighs ] Oh." "That makes fiive times in a row now." "Hey." " Can I talk to you for a second ?" "Jason, yes, please, come in." "Look, lknowyou think you're feeling fine, but Iran some more tests anyway." " Really ?" " Yeah." "Whenyou extractedBuddy, somehow it altered the gene that regulates neurotransmitter activity to the cerebral cortex." "Uh,Jason, all these big words are really perplexing to me." "Can you talk in plain English ?" "You're losing your intelligence, sir." "Yeah." "Yeah, I know." "I know." "I can feel it." "I can't even beat Molly, and she's the dumbest hamster we got." "Jason, mypresentation's in two days." "Now what am I gonna do ?" "Oh, mygoodness." "Buddy." "[ Sighs ] Oh, thank God." "Hey, how's it going there, Sherman ?" "Yeah, Daddy, you startled me." " What's that you got there, son ?" " The youth juice." "Um, um, my formula." "I was wondering if I could keep it here for safekeeping." "Oh, yeah, leave it in the refrigerator." "Ain't nobody gonna bother it." "You allright ?" "You looka little strained." "What'sgoing on ?" "[ Stammering ] Well, Daddy, you know, I kinda got a lot on my mind." "Really, I do." "I guess I've been a little worried about my presentation and all." "Worriedabout yourpresentation ?" "You ain 't got nothing to be worriedabout." "We gonna be watching you on TV, supporting you, and you should be proud." "We proud." "I know I'm proud." "I tell you that." "You ain't got nothing to worried" "You're gonna be doing just great." "Ah !" "I didn't hit you that hard." "Don't act like a little bitch." "By the way, Sherman, how many people can say that they raised a genius ?" "ican." "Worried about his presentation ?" "That's a good one there." "[Muttering] [Bottles Rattling]" " Ooh, is this supposedto be that hard ?" " Yeah, let it set a while." "Don't worr if it burns a little bit." "That's natural." "All right, you the expert, Chantal." "Workyour magic, girl, 'cause Denise's motheris coming to this bacheloretteparty, andifshe's asstunning asDenise, lgot to besparkling." "Honey, you gonna blind their asses." "When you walk in that door, they gonna think you're Tyra Banks." "[ Both Laughing ] Oh, didltellyou the news ?" "Leon got one ofthem penis pumps." "Penis pumps ?" "What'd he do with it ?" "Mm-hmm." " Supposed to pump it up or something." " Does it work ?" "Just on the tip." "Now that thing look like a portabello mushroom." " [ Laughing ]" " Isaac all natural." "Soon as I walk in the room, ten-hut." "You know, I'm thinking about having a little work done myself." "The other day, I got out the shower, and I bent down to reach for a towel, and I felt a sharp pain in my chest." "Shot through my chest and up around my back, down my spine." "I thought, "Oh, Lord." I thought I was dying." "I bent over and looked, and I was standing on my own titty." "You ain't have to get no breast reduction." "Just be more careful." " Both feet too." "Both feet on it." " [ Continues Laughing ]" "All right, what the hell you old hens cackling about ?" "You ready to go ?" "No, not quite." "I'll be ready in a minute." "She still got to set up a few more minutes." "Have some more wine, girl." "Ooh, girl, I don't know if I should." "I already had two glasses." "Oh, go on, live a little." "Make your hair look better." " [ Laughing ] - [ Chuckling ]" " Have mercy." " Yeah,just like lfigured." "You sit up here all day, getting sloshed and talking about us men." " Clesius, have you ever heard the expression, "mercy hump" ?" " Say what ?" "'Cause that's whatyou been getting all theseyears-- mercy humps." " Stop it." " You out your goddamn mind." "Let me tell you something." "He ain't got nothing but a limp doodle." "[ Laughing ]" "Oops." "Sorr." " [ Stammering ]" " Gotta get ya." "Clesius !" "Oh, look whatyou've done!" "Oh." " Ah" " You girls are crazy." "I'm leaving." "Oh, Clesius, Clesius, wait !" "Clesius !" "Oh, Clesius !" "I don't believe it." "Clesius, I only told her 'cause she got so much experience in sexual matters." "I ain't nothing but a big damn joke to you, ain't I ?" "Tell the whole world !" "Her husband ain't nothing but a big ol' pile ofworthless crap !" "Clesius !" "Clesius !" "Oh." "~~~~~~[Classical]" "I'm just glad they're back in town so you can fil nally meet them." "I'm extremely nervous because I really want to make a good impression." "Sherman, there's no reason foryou to be nervous." "My parents are ver down-to-earth people, and they're gonna love you." "I guess it's not like they're rocket scientists." "Well, actually, they are." " Daddy!" " Sweetheart !" "Great to see you." "You must be Sherman, the genius who's marring my daughter." "[ Chuckling ] I guess that's me." "They think I'm old." "They think I'm worn-out, huh ?" "I'm gonna show all of'em." "Screw the golden years." "And here's to youth !" "[ Groaning ]" "That's some nasty mess." "I don't feel no-- [ Gagging ]" "[ Gagging Continues ]" "[Groaning, Coughing]" "Damn, that was some nasty stuff !" "Oh, I feel as strange as hell." "Oh !" "Hey, get your ass" "Who the hell are you ?" "Who you put" "It worked." "It worked !" "~~~Papa'sgot a brand-newbag~~~" "~~~~~~[Continues] [ Chattering ]" "~~~~~~[Continues] Yeah !" "Oh, what a beautiful bird." "Oh, Crackers has been in our family more than 50 years." "Hmm ?" "Fifty years." "He's older than I am." "[ Squawks ]" " Sherman, your fly." "Your fly." " Yeah, he can fly all over." " No, no, no, zip your pants." " [ Chuckling Nervously ]" "Oh, my goodness." "Excuse me." "I felt-- I felt a little breeze." "So, uh, genomic extractions." "[ZipperZipping] Fascinating." "But the whole concept ofremoving faultygenes must haveyou in an ethicalquandary." "." "[Flatulence] [ Groaning ] E-Excuse me." "Ethical ?" "Oh, yes, idon't knowmuch about "Ethicals", to be perfectly honest withyou." "But the "Quandar"-- I don't like thejapanese cars." "ldon't like the EthicalQuandary." "I'm a Volvo man myself." "Well, yeah." " Oh !" " [ Laughing ] - [ Laughs ]" "Sherman is known as the leading expert in genomic extractions." "Give us a littlepreviewof thespeechyou're going to make at thepress conference." " Say what now ?" " lknow we wouldnever be able to keep up, but is there some way thatyou could explain it in layman terms ?" "[ Chuckles ] Oh, you'd like me to explain to you ?" "Yes." "Well, I would love to." "I would be honored." "It's really quite simple." "This corn, for instance" "This piece ofcorn here can represent a strand of DNA." "[Chuckling] Andthese little-- the individual-- the bumpy things that go" "The Green Giant calls them "niblets." Uh, niblets." "These niblets represent eachgene, andthey determine everything aboutyou." "For instance, Mrs. Gaines, let's say ifa person was to have big titties, like you." " [Denise] Sherman !" " l'm sorry." "Big titties." "No, breasts." "Scratch it." "Get offyou." "On me." " Now, I have a big ass." "Never mind that." " [ Fork Clatters ]" "What we're attempting to do here is to extract the, uh, the bad, badgenes." "Extract that titty out." "Andass comes out." "Andjust leave thegoodgenes, which is ver simple ifyou think about it." "Just ignore that." "Please ignore those." "Those are the badgenes." "What I'm really tring to do is go deep, deep down into the gene structure, which oftentimes is much more difficult." "[Thud, Squawking] Crackers !" "Oh, goodness !" "I'm" " I'm so-- so sorr about that." "[ Stammering ] My pants got caught in the thing and they pulled it on out." "His wings is twitching a little bit, so he's allright." "[CellPhone Rings] Buddy Love." "Mr. Love." "Leanne Guilford." "Yes, Miss Guilford." "How are you ?" "You forgotten we have an appointment right now ?" "I had a hard time getting a cab." " I'm on my way." " I'll wait for a few more minutes and then I'm leaving." "Ver good." "I'll see you soon." "All right." "Yes !" "Whoo !" "This isgreat!" "Sir, uh, please don't do that." "It's kind ofdangerous." "You work her !" "Work her !" "[ Barking ]" "Dynamite !" "Yeah !" "Whoo !" "Hey, let me have a seven and seven." "Coming up." "You about the fii nest-looking thing I seen in a long time." "Well, thankyou ver much." "You pretty damn foxy yourself, baby." "A lot ofyoung men are intimidated by an older woman." "Is that right ?" "Well, let me tell you something." "You look pretty damn young to me." "In fact, let me tell you something, baby." "You just about the-- You" "Yeah, you look good." "Pretty fii ne." "Foxy fii ne and young." "Excuse me one second." "Yes, yes, yes." " Get away from my woman." " Mind your own business, Willie." " What ?" " It's over between us." "Hejust won't accept it." "Willie, she said it's over between y'all." "Besides, you getting the wrong idea." "Outside." "Outside." "I'm tired ofthis shit." "Say what ?" "Who you pushing?" "Not again, Willie." "Willie, what's wrong with you ?" "All right, enough is enough !" "This is going too damn far !" "You gonna make me have to put my foot in your ass." "I'm gonna tell you straight up." "I don't wanna have to hurt you, Pops !" "Pops ?" "I'll "pop" your ass." "Would you please put your clothes back on ?" "You'll hurt yourself." "You look like a roast chicken." "That was a lucky shot." " Okay, that's it." " Come on, fool." "Get your ass up." "Come on." "You're crazy." "[ Martial Arts Cr ]" "What the hell is this ?" "Am I supposed to believe that you know "bujitsu" ?" "Sayonara, sucker." "[Smack] [ Grunts ]" "All right." "Meter reads 3.90." "Here's 4.00." "Keep the dime." "Jerk." "Ah, the lovely Miss Guilford." "Where you on your way to ?" " Home." " Home ?" "What do you mean ?" "We got business to talk." "All you seem to be is talk." "I'm starting to think you don't even have a formula." "Oh-- We're gonna stick with Klump." "Stick with Klump ?" "I just got off the phone with my research people in Langley, Virginia." "They're working out all the minorkinks." "We gonna have a formula any moment now." "Hey !" "Klump's formula sucks !" "All right, little man." "I've been real patient." " I told you I'd mess you up." " [ Rumbling ]" "[ Screaming ]" "Oh, you scared now, huh ?" "Bring your little butt back here." "I'm tired ofyour" "Damn." "He done loosen my tooth too." "So that's where Sherman's been hiding it." "Klumpville." "Chunkytown." "Big-ass City." "Clesius." "Clesius." "Lord have mercy." "What have you been all evening ?" "I've been so worried." "Wait." "Don't turn on the light." " Leave the light out." " Oh, Clesius, I'm so sorr about what happened tonight." "Yeah, well" " Anna, you remember when we first met ?" "Ofcourse I remember." "Back at the state fair." "Why ?" "Yeah, the state fair." "You was working the cotton candy." "Standing looking like an angel." "Had that pink sugar swirling all around you." "I turned to my brother, and I said three words," ""Might-y fii ne."" "[ Chuckling ]" "You must've ate 1 6 cotton candies that night, Clesius." "Yeah, well, I was interested." "I was interested." "I was damn interested." "Closeyoureyes, Anna." "lgot a little surprise foryou." "Oh, Clesius." "[ Chuckling ]" "Oh !" "Here lam. I'm ready, andl'm waiting." " Oh, that some nasty stuff." " Okay, what you got for me ?" "[ Rumbling ] It wouldn't be a surprise if I told you." "Oh, you always been such a sexy devil." "[ Rumbling ]" "Oh, Clesius, I'm on fire." "Oh, Clesius !" "Hurr, Clesius." "Hurr, Clesius !" "Hurr, Clesius." "Hurr." "Hurr, Clesius." "Yeah, yeah." "I've been waiting so long." "Clesius, I'm on fire." "I know you've been waiting, baby." " Oh, Clesius, this is so romantic." " Yeah, Clesius here now." "I'm on fii re." "Anna Pearl, Anna Pearl." "Yeah, I'm gonna put your fil re out." " [ Screaming ]" " It's okay, baby." "It's okay." "Anna, it's me." "It's me." "It's Clesius." "I'm just young again." "Oh, Lord, Clesius, what have you done to yourself?" "I took some ofSherman's youth juice, and it's incredible." "I got enough for both of us too." "Damn." "Don't worr about it." "I got some more in the garage." "I'm not taking that mess." "I don't want no magic formula." " What's wrong with you, woman ?" "Don't you wanna be young ?" " No, I don't wanna be young." "Clesius, we're supposed to be who we are, andl'm just fine with who lam." "But, obviously, what you're tring to say is that you'rejust tired... ofthe fat, old woman that you got married to." "Oh, no, Anna." "That's not what I'm saying." "That ain't what I'm saying at all." "Downstairs." "I thinkyou better sleep downstairs." "Anna, please, no, baby." " But I wasjust" " Downstairs, Clesius." "I don't wanna hear it." "Oh, Clesius, I'm so disappointed in you." "I just feel so god-awful terrible about what happened to Crackers." "Imagine what your parents must think about me." "Sherman, you were acting really strange tonight." "Yeah, I know, 'cause, um, I drank that wine, and I had cold medicine early on." "And mixing cold medicine and wine-- that don't mix." "Well, cold medicine or not," "I'm really worried about you." "And I really thinkyou should get a checkup." "All right." "I will." "Yeah, I will." "Okay." "Go home and get some rest, and fii rst thing in the morning, I'll make an appointment to get a checkup." "Good." "See you tomorrow." "See you tomorrow." " Sorr about Crackers." "I'm sorr." "Okay ?" " Okay." "Okay." "[ Sighs ]" "Mm." "Pervert." ""Beef in your taco."" "[ Clearing Throat ]" " I'm a pony !" "I'm a pony !" " Mommy, I'm scared." "Nowback to the midnight movie." "[ Man ] A huge asteroid, approximately 1 ,000 square miles in size, is still on a collision course with Earth." "Wellman College Professor Sherman Klump... is attempting to plant a nuclear explosive device deep within the asteroid core, which, ifeffective, will destroy it." "Houston, come in." "This is Professor Klump on the asteroid's surface." "We readyou, Professor." "What'syourstatus ?" "We've done dug the hole and planted the nukes." "Good." "Then get back in your shuttle and get the hell out ofthere... so you can blow that rock to bits." "Sherman, you've got 30 seconds before that asteroid hits." "Better hurr." "The world's counting on it." "[Rockets Fire] [ Yelling ]" "Fifteen seconds." "Sherman, start the detonation sequence now." "Hello, Houston." "We got a big-assproblem." "[ Denise ] Sherman, you've got to blow up the asteroid." "Press that button !" "I... can't... reach it." "[Man's Voice] Sherman." "Sherman, I am your father." "Search your feelings, Sherman." "There's a force deep down inside you." "Use it." "Use your force, Sherman." "Ofcourse." "[ Farts ]" "Ah, yes. [ Coughing ] The force is strong with you, my son." " [ Continues Coughing ] Goddamn." " What the hell was that noise ?" "Whew !" "I think something crawled up your force and died, Sherman." "~~~~~~[ "Blue Danube"] - [ Farting In Rhythm ]" "[Computer Voice] Ten seconds to impact." "My God !" "He didn 'tplant those charges on the asteroid." "Then where didheplant them ?" "Okay." "Good-bye, Mr. Asteroid." "[Chuckling] This isgonna begood." "Yeah." "Wait a minute." "Didllandon the wrong-- Oh, shit." "Oh, no." "I done blowed up the wrong one." "Good-bye, Sherman." "Denise, please don't-- It was an accident." "Denise-- l'm sure it'lljust make a little splash in the ocean." "That's all." "See,just a little, tiny" "Oh, that ain 't tiny at all, is it ?" "I am an idiot." "Oh, thankyou, Granny, so much." "You are too sweet." "Yeah, that's a little specialpresent foryour wedding night." "Oh, fabulous." "Romantic and fabulous." "Oh, Mama !" "[ Women ] Ooh !" "Thankyou, Granny." "Maybesomething I wouldn 't have chosen formyself." "Thankyou." "Well, I didn't choose it foryou, baby." "I got it for Sherman." "He'sgonna be the one that'sgonna appreciate the hell out ofit, trust me." "Girls, lgottago check on the rest ofmysurprise." "Y'all excuse me fora moment." "[Anna] Girls, lsawthe most fabulousgame the otherday." "It's calledBachelorette Bingo." "Let'splay." "Oh, this is so fabulous !" "[Chuckling]" "This is Miss Ida MaeJensen." "I'm calling to confii rm a male stripper fantasy, the Muy Caliente Vida Loca special." "[ Sniffii ng ]" "Goddamn." "[ Sniffii ng ]" "[ Sniffs ]" "Yeah, that's right." "Well, where they at ?" "We all ready here." "Now" "Oh, never mind." "lsee him overhere now." "Okay." "Yes, we will enjoy." "Thankyou." "Now, that's what lcall the Muy Caliente..." "ElNegro special." "Mmm-mmm !" "[ Exhales ]" " Hey." " [ Clears Throat ]" "Well, hello there, stripper man." "Now, you know, lordered thespecial, andyousupposed to be dressedasa fireman." "Stripperman ?" "Oh, stripper-- Oh, yes, stripperman." "Well, I, um-- I decided not to do my fil reman dance tonight, because last time I did it, things got so heated up, kind ofscorched my suit." "So I decided to do my cat burglar dance." "And I slip through the back door... and I'm kind of poking around, 'cause I'm a method stripper... and I want to get the right frame of mind so I can give y'all some good stripping." " You know, work it foryou." " You know, you lookjust like Ken Norton in Mandingo." "Oh, really ?" "Oh, Ken Norton" " Oh, Mandingo." "Ken Norton." "Really ?" "I guess this is the closest I'm gonna ever get to Ken Norton." "Well, thankyou so much." "Thankyou." "Thankyou." "Well, thankyou so much." "Thankyou." "Thankyou." "I wonder ifyou could give me a little private dance." "Oh, okay." "You want a private-- You wanna slow down ?" "Stop, stop, stop !" "I'm gonna need some space here." "You want a private dance." "Okay, I can do that." "But fii rst, um, I'm so thirsty." "I got a craving for some-- for some red fruit punch." "Red fruit punch ?" "I ain't seen none in the house, boy." "But today I seen some out in the Frigidaire, out in the garage." "Oh, there may be some in the garage ?" "Well, after I quench my thirst," "I'm gonna come give you a dance." "Ow !" "I'll be moving like this." "You like that, don't you ?" "Yeah, that's like Soul Train." "That's la vida loca." "Make this face here like I'm tearing it up." "Oh, good Lord." "Oh, my precious Lord." "You like that ?" "Don't move now." "I ain't going nowhere." "I'll be right here for the Soul Train." " I'll be right back." " For the Soul Train !" "I'll be right back." "[DoorbellRinging]" "Oh, my goodness, is there a fil re ?" "Yes, ma'am, I'm afraid there is." "I don't smell no smoke. [ Sniffii ng ]" "~~ There's a fil re in my pants... and it's getting muy caliente!" "Oh, Lord, have mercy !" "A strip" " Oh, my !" "My mother must've arranged this." "Where are you ?" "Oop" "Oh, bingo !" "Bingo." "Chunky Butt, thankyou so much for making this easy." "I thought this was gonna be diffiicult." "Chunky Butt made this a nice, easy task forme." "Yes, yes, yes." "Perfect." "Now I gotta fii nd something to cut this with." "Maybe a little fertilizer or something." "Oh, this is gonna be perfect, Chunky Butt." "I think this will help spruce up your presentation quite a bit." "[ Snickering ]" "[Anna] Oh, Lord!" "I didn't know there was gonna be a stripper." "I didn't know there was gonna be a stripper." "Mama !" "Mama !" "[Women Screaming]" "~~~Love~~~" "~~~ls a many splendoredthing~~~" "~~~lt's theAprilrose~~~" "~~~ That onlygrows~~~" "~~~ln the earlyspring~~~" "~~~Love is nature's way~~~" "~~~ Ofgiving~~~" "~~~A reason to be living~~~" "~~~ Thegolden crown~~~" "~~~ That makes a man~~~" "~~~A king~~~~~~" "Oh, we gonna have the whole room smelling like ass." "Shake it, shake." "And it's like I was never here." "[ Gasps ] Oh !" "Oh !" "Hey !" "You scared mejust now." "I thought you was a monster." "Mmm-mmm !" "What areyou" " Hey, what" " Stripper man, stripper man." " You're not supposed to be out here." " This must be your lucky night." " You're supposed to be in the house." " I'm fiittin' to teach you..." " ever trick I know." " [ Gulps ]" " lseen the way you logging me inside." " No, no, no, no." "[ With Deep Voice ] I'm logging you too." " Oh !" " Oh !" "Oh !" "Oh !" " Oh, stripper man." " [ Yelling ]" " Oh, I feel so vulnerable." " [ Retches ]" "Come on." "Let's get it on right now, right here, right now." "Oh, stripper." "Wait." "Just calm-- Relax a second." "Now, listen." "We gonna get it on." "But not out here." "You don't wanna get it on out here, do you, in this nasty, stink garage ?" "Let's go in the house in a warm bed where I can give you the shimmy." "I'll meet you in your room." "I ain't falling for that trick." "I'm gonna get that knot out your back." "Yougonna have togive me a little sugarright now, orl'llscream." "No, no, don't scream." "Don't scream." "No, no, no." "Shh, shh." "Wait, wait, wait." "I'llgiveyou a little kiss." "A little peck on the cheek." "Meet you up in the room." "Ain't gonna hurt nobody." "You're so cute." "Come here." "I want a little sugar." "Oh, God !" "Oh, Ken Norton !" "[ Yelling ]" "[ Vomiting ]" "[ Vomiting ]" "[ Cring ]" "[Man] Folks, we want toget everybody into thepresentation, soplease have yourpress credentials ready." "Well, if it isn't ol' Chunky Butt." "Buddy, what are you doing here ?" "I just came down foryour big presentation." "You're not nervous, are you ?" "No, I ain't nervous." ""No, I ain't." "No, I ain't."" "That's interesting." "Starting to sound kind of ignorant." "But don't worr." "Ifthis professor thing don't work out, there's always room for another brother down at the car wash." "They could put a big beach towel on your ass, and you can stand in the doorway as the cars come out... and dr 'em a side at a time." "That's your future." "Buddy, I notice since the split-up... that, uh, I ain't really-- I haven't really felt like myself." "I was wondering ifyou've been experiencing any changes." "Not at all." "I feel great." "Never felt better in my life." "Business is really starting to look up for me, Sherm." "[CatShrieks]" "Hey, you betterrun !" "Come here !" "Come here, pussy !" "You're a pussy !" "That's what you are." "I'llkillyou!" "I'llkillyou!" "Come here, youpussy!" "[ Anna ] Sherman coming on in a minute." "Well, what channel's Sherman gonna come on ?" "Anybody know ?" "Have some ofthese brownies." "They're still warm." "Don't drop 'em on my floor now." "All right, everbody." "Sherman getting ready to come on TV now." "Everbody gather around." "You know, fame is gonna pass." "And the only thing that's permanent is family." "Ain't that right, Daddy ?" "Oh, shit !" "Get your ass out that chair !" "How many times, Ernest, I gotta tell you to stay out my damn chair ?" "Aw, man." "You work on them cars all day gonna put the grease all in my chair, smear the grease there." "Gotta sit on this grease." "My gray pants still got grease all over 'em 'cause ofyou." "You happy ?" "You got your chair." "Enjoy." "Stay out my damn chair." "Ernest, willyouplease tell yourfatherto be quiet ?" "Sherman's coming on." " [lda] What channelSherman come on ?" " Tell me what shejust said," " I'll come over there and whup your ass." " [Applause On TV]" "[Grandma] That's the channel." "Watch the damn TV." "Thankyou, ladies and gentlemen for coming out." "My name is Professor Sherman Klump." "I'm a professor here at Wellman College." " Ooh !" "[ Clapping ]" " Look at him." "Joe College." " Look how dashing he look." "He lookjust like Billy Dee." " Boy look handsome." " Billy Dee !" "Billy Dee !" "Billy Dee !" "Billy Dee !" " Billy Dee Klump." " As you all know," "Ponce de Leon searched his entire life for the Fountain ofYouth." "And today we will complete hisjourney." "So, uh, ladies andgentlemen, I'dlike topresent toyou all, uh, the Wellman College youth formula." " Maybe I need to take some ofthat." " It don't cure ugly." " [ Snickers ]" " Does Clesius know I'm strapped ?" " Well, come on." "Shoot." "Come on." "Shoot." " I'm strapped, nigga." " Tell him." "I'm strapped." " And ifyou miss, I'm gonna fii nish you off." "Ifyou don't have anything nice to say, don't say nothing at all." " Well, she messin' with me." " Stop the violence." "Stop the violence." "And don't say nothing." "I'm tring to watch Sherman." "Okay, cool, cool." "Boy, would I like to throw some hot grease on you." "[Sherman Continuing]" "This is Molly." "Molly is a one-year-old, andPetey is four." "Petey is our candidate for genetic "transmografiication."" "[ Coughs ]" "Petey here-- Petey is ourcandidate forgenetic "transmofilectesy. "" "Genetic "transgromanation."" "The "youthification--" That ain 't a word." "[EddieJr. ] Howcome Uncle Sherman's talking funny ?" " He's starting to sound like you, Dad." " He don't sound right, do he ?" "What do you mean, "sound like me" ?" "What's that ?" "Sherman up in a ivor tower... just 'cause he went to college." "I could've gone to college if I took that damn... elastic "appitude" test." "Hey, shut up." "What the hell's wrong with Sherman ?" "You be breaking me down in front of my seed on the regular." "The reason we, uh-- he-- We gonna make him young." "So I say, um, let's get it on !" "[ Audience Murmuring ]" "I'm gonna just give a drop ofthis to Petey." "We watch and see what happens." " Isaac, you watching that ?" " Hey, that ain't right." " Hamsters will be hamsters, huh ?" " Oh !" "[ Roaring ]" " What in blazes" " Oh !" " Look at that !" " That's cool." "That's real cool." " Look at that !" "Petey !" "Down, boy !" " Petey !" " Shoot him !" "Shoot him !" "No, no." "No." "Please, I'm not that kindof" "~ Guy ~" "Oh, my God. lhave to turn the channel. ldon't want my babyseeing that." " That man ain't never gonna be right again." " Oh !" " Somebody need to take Isaac's pressure." " Oh, what's wrong with this ?" " Something like that will ruin a man." " Coverthe baby's eyes." "That's too much excitement for my baby." "Turn the channel." " I can't even turn." " That's nasty." " That's what that is." "[Anna] Turn the baby's eyes." "Andhe don't needto know what it is, Mama." "Now, was that supposed to happen ?" "[Buddy] lt's the lovely Miss Guilford." "Mr. Love." "What a wonderful day we're having, huh ?" "Why am I not surprised to see you here ?" "Well, I fii gured since it turns out that Professor Klump ain't your man after all, you might wanna talk a deal." "All right." "Have your formula ready for presentation on Friday." "Friday it is." "See you Friday." "Lovely dress." "Mm-hmm." "I'll wear something sharp." "[ Clears Throat ]" "Oh, Dean." "I'm just tring to fii gure out what went wrong here." "I just don't understand." "It must've been some sort ofcontaminant or something." "The deal with Phleer is off." "I just spoke to Leanne Guilford." "But that doesn 't botherme." "After all, what's $1 50 million ?" "Oh !" "Dean Richmond, I am so sorr." "I'm really tring to get to the bottom ofthis, because this was not supposed to happen." "No, that's not what bothers me." "Deals will come and deals will go." "Wellman..." "will always be Wellman." "But I'll tell you what does bother me." "On the way over here, a cute little boy pointed at me and said," ""Oh, look, Mommy, there goes the hamster's bitch !"" "Uh-- [ Clears Throat ] Dean, whatever it's worth," "Petey is back to normal and feelingjust fii ne." "Oh, yeah ?" " Do you think he'll call ?" " [ Clears Throat ]" "Dean, I just want to tell you, I'm" " I'm sorr." "Stop... speaking !" "I just want to go on record as saying that-- [ Muttering ]" "Shh, shh, shh." "Shh, shh, shh." "I've been looking forward to saying something to you for 1 2 years." "And here it is." "You're fat !" "[ Chuckles ]" "[ Continues Chuckling ]" " And dumb." " [DoorOpens]" "And fii red." "Sherman." "It's not your fault." "I ain't never" "I'm never gonna be the same again, am I ?" "I'm afraid not." "Sinceyou've separated brain cells have been damaged." "yourspeech andmemory-- lknow." "I'llbe a totalidiot." "Don't you think it's time you told Denise ?" "Oh, no,Jason." "I can't do that." "How can I tell her I'm losing the ver thing... that made her fall in love with me in the fii rst place ?" "Mm-mmm." "[ Sighs ]" "Hi." "Sherman, what areyou doing here ?" "How you doing ?" "Your mama told me I might be able to fii nd you here." "I've been looking all over the place foryou." "I've been leaving messages everwhere." "I went by your place." "Yeah, well, I had a lot on my mind." "You know, I walk around, going around, getting time to think." "I wonder if I can talk to you about something." "Look, I know you're upset about what happened." "But we can get right back to work with the youth formula, and I think the problem-- No, not science." "Denise, I'm not-- This isn't about science." "We can start completely over." "We can fil nd another university." "After the wedding, we can even" "That's what I'm talking about-- the wedding." "[ Sighs ] Denise, I don't think there's going to be a wedding." "Well, not-- not right away anyway." "I mean, my head'sjust kind of messed up right now, and I don't think it'd be fair to you." "What ?" "I made a mistake." "And I have to work that mistake out." "I have to live with that." "Me, not you." "See, you're so pretty, and you're so smart." "You just got your whole life ahead ofyou." "I just don't want to mess things up foryou." "I'm" "I'm sorr, Denise." "I think I'd better get going." "[Clesius] You allright ?" "Oh, ljust don't understand, Clesius." "And he won't tell me why." "Anna, listen." "Sometimes a man do some crazy things, you know ?" "Oh !" "Not that he's tring to hurt nobody." "He's not tring to tell you he don't love you." "It'sjust" "Sometimes you get kind ofconfused, you know ?" "You hear what I'm saying ?" "Yes, Clesius, I hear what you're saying." "[ Sniffles ]" "[ Sobbing ] I'll talk to the boy." "Everthing was so fabulous." "You cut out that cring now." "It's all right." "Stop all that cring." "Go clean your nose up." "Go wash your hands." "Snot all over the place looking nasty as hell." "What's this on me ?" "Goddamn, look what you put on me, Anna." "What's this on me for ?" "Yeah, you know something, Sherman ?" "The ver fii rst building I ever worked on was on this site right here." "Yep." "Isn't that something ?" "It was a baker." "Yeah." "Tore it down two years ago." "Thirty-fiive years later, I wind up working on the thing, building it up all over again;" "ain't that something ?" "I expected the building I worked on was permanent." "But I was wrong, 'cause it ain't." "That's not permanent." "You know what's permanent, Sherman ?" "You know what's permanent ?" "I'm gonna tell you." "What me and your mama got." "That's permanent." "That ain't going no place." "You know what I mean ?" "Ifyou get you a woman that really, really loves you, you've got to hold on to that, Sherman." "Yeah, that's true, Daddy." "Yeah, I knows I sure do love Denise." "Well, then y'all gotta get back together then." "Get back together ?" "Daddy, that's it." "Yeah." "Get back together." "Ifwe get back together, that'll make everthing okay." "Dynamite." "Go call the girl." "Say what ?" "Not Denise." "Buddy." "Me and Buddy get back together, that'll make everthing fii ne between me and Denise." "Hey, you just took the wrong off-ramp." "I can use the youth formula." "I'll feed it to Buddy." "It'll make him so young." "I'll turn him back into Goop." "And I ingest" " I eat it !" "I eat it !" "Huh ?" "That's it." "Daddy, that'll work." "I wouldn't have even thought about that." "This is fantastic !" "What are you gonna eat ?" "Sherman !" "Damn !" "[ Sighs ]" "Hello, Sherman." "lheardyou were here." "Give me a minute, Dean, and I'll be on my way." "Trespass allyou like." " It goes so well in court with grand theft." " I beg your pardon." "You're tring to sell the youth formula under a different identity." "Who do you thinkyou are ?" "Dean, you just don't understand, really." "That's always possible." "Then help me out if you don't mind." "Explain it." "Why is Buddy Love meeting with Phleer ?" "Oh, my goodness." "I gotta hurr up." "Not so fast, pal." "I'm not letting you out of my sight until both our names are on that contract." "I'm going to be stuck on you like a giant hamster on my a" "Where you go, I go." "I have no time to stand here and argue with you." "Ifyou wanna come along, I'll explain it to you on the way." "[Buddy] Ladies andgentlemen anddistinguishedguests, it is showtime." "Now I'd like to present to you exhibit "A."" "His name is Zeke, and it is ver clear... that Zeke has been getting his ass whipped by Father Time for many, many years." "[ Computer Beeping ]" "Oh, my God, Sherman." "Sherman !" "Sherman !" "Sherman !" " Hey, hey, hey, Denise." " Thank God." "What the hell's going on ?" "Papa Klump, have you seen Sherman ?" "He's in trouble." "Oh, tell me about it." "First the boy acting crazy and called off the wedding." "Then he talking about eating some guy." "I don't know if it's something I need to talk to the boy about." "Wait." "Eating somebody ?" "Yeah, he said he's gonna eat some man." "Ofcourse." "Buddy." "Yeah, that's the guy." "What's going on between the three ofy'all ?" " What's this, a kind of menage a trois ?" " I know where Sherman is." "Ladies and gentlemen, ifZeke dropped dead right now, who would care ?" " I would." " My point exactly." "Exactly." "That no person, no matter who they are, no matter how hopelessly disgusting their case may be, should be left without a second chance." "Andthat is why I wouldlike to introduce..." "New You, a fully copyrighted product being offered to you... by thegoodpeople ofLove Enterprises." "Now, ifyou'd be so kind, Zeke, would you drink this up, please ?" "It's kind of like Mogen David, but fruitier." "Wait !" "I'm sorry to interrupt, ladies andgentlemen !" "But I cannot go on living unless I have this man inside me right now." " Steady, sailor." " What the hell is going on here ?" "Well, if it isn't Professor Sherman Klump, the inventor ofJumbo the Horny Hamster." " Please !" " Buddy, I am sick and I am tired... ofyour s-h-- [Richmond] "l. "" "Thankyou." "T-E." "My shite ?" "Oh, really ?" "Well, what you gonna do about it, Shamu ?" " Tell you what I'm gonna do." " I don't have no time to play no games with your ass." " You got time to play a little catch, don't you ?" " Oh, you bastard." "[ Kissing Sounds, Whistles ] Buddy." " Aw !" " [ Buddy Muttering ]" "Buddy, Buddy." "Buddy." "Get it, Buddy." "Buddy !" "Na, na, na, na." "Hey, Buddy." "Fetch." "[ Laughing ]" "Aach !" "[ People Groaning ] What the hell is that ?" "Who's dumb now ?" "Oh, Sherman." "Oh, you sneaky son ofa bitch." "Oh, Sherman !" "Oh, no !" "Oh, shit !" "Uh-- ah-- ah-- Everbody calm down." "This is a part ofthe demonstration." "Just calm" " Relax." "Everything's undercontrol." "What the hellareyou looking at ?" "This is an impressive package for a toddler." "All right, Mr. Toddler." "Nothing to see here, folks." "This mutant is about to dissolve into liquid, and then the fat man is going to suck him through a straw." "Sorry, Buddy." "ljust want my life back." "You don't owe him any explan" " What ?" "Come here." "Oh, you rotten son ofa" " Oh !" " I'm hit !" "I'm hit !" " Forget it, fat ass." "I ain't going back inside ofyou." "Mmm." "Got milk ?" "[ Screaming ]" "Thankyou, baby." "He's getting away." "Dean, I want that formula." "Bring me the man who made it." "I'm ready to make a deal." "Hmm ?" "Right." "I'm naked !" "I'm naked !" "I'm naked !" "I'm naked !" "I'm naked !" " There he is." " What the hell is happening ?" " [ Screaming ] - [ Buddy Screaming ]" "What the hell was that ?" "Buddy." "All right, that's it." "Slow the car down !" "Slow down !" "We can't help Sherman wrapped around no light pole." "We've got to get to him." "He and Buddy have to be combined immediately." "[Woman Screams] [ Richmond ] Where's the little snot now ?" " [ Buddy ] What the hell are you looking at ?" " [Richmond] Come on." "What ?" "What ?" "Don't feel right." "Starting to feel a little light-headed." "Ifyou quit now, you're gonna be empty-headed." "Come on, Klump." "Let's get him." "Get ahold ofthis, chubby." "[ Screams ]" "Whoo !" "You got a big ass !" " What ?" " Follow that ass." "Aw, hell." "Now, what's all ofthis ?" " Move out the way, damn it !" " Wait a minute." "I think I see him." "[ Farting ] [ Buddy ] Goddamn." "Oh, no." "Don't even thinkabout it." "Don'tyou do it." "[ Farting ] Oh, you're doing it." " Ow !" " Stop !" "[ Buddy Yelling ]" "All right, tubby." "[ Coughs ]" "Let's see how long you last without me." "What ?" "What ?" "That's it ?" "He's gone ?" "Ah, I-I-- da-da" "Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba." "Oh, that's marvelous." "[ Muttering ]" "The deal is dead, you know that ?" "I've been calling you a moron foryears." "Now you're fii nally" "I'll just get a cab." " [ Sherman Yelling ]" " Ohhh, Sherman !" " I raised a genius." " No one isperfect." " l want to beperfect forher." " Perfect ?" " About timeyou toldDenise ?" " lcheckedthe file." " There's no future." "You willneverlearn to controlhim tillyou accept the fact he is apart ofyou." "Sherman." "You okay ?" "[ Mumbling ]" "Gone-- he's all gone." "Buddy ?" "He evaporated ?" "Gone." "And me no smart." "Never." "No more." "Sherman, that's okay." "I mean, we'll fii gure something out." "There has to be something that we can do." "I want to say I'm" " I'm sorr." "I never-- I didn't want to hurt you." "You understand ?" "I thought that ifyou knew that Buddy was a part of me," "I thought that you wouldn't have me then." "Sherman." "Now, hear me." "Hear me out now." "I should've had more faith in you." "Should've had more faith in myself." "But I-- Sherman." "Sherman, what's wrong ?" "Sherman ?" " Can't you hear, son ?" " Sherman, look at me." "Who am I ?" "Pretty lady." "Oh, honey." "Oh, that's nice." " It's gonna be okay." " Nice." "I'll take care ofyou." "Oh !" "Come on." "Let's get the boy home." "Nice lady." "Come on." "Let'sget him home." "Come on." "Go home now." "Thankyou." "Oh, look at the-- the pretty water." "Oh, my God." "It's Buddy." " His DNA burst into water molecules." "Sherman, quick." " What the hell ?" "Drink this." "No." "Dirty water." "No." "Come on, honey." "You have to drink this." "Please." "Drink dirty water." "Look at me." "What's my name ?" "Denise." "You're Denise." "Oh, yes." "Drink some more." "Denise." "Come on." "Drink some more." "What's two times two ?" "Two times two is four." "Four times four ?" "Four times four is fiif-- sixteen." "Sherman, yes." "Drink some more before Buddy disperses." "Come on, boy." "What's your mama middle name ?" "[ Mumbling ]" "Oh, hell, no." "That ain't it." "Get a lot now." "Get a lot." "That's enough." "Pearl." "He said Pearl !" "He said Pearl !" "Anna Pearl." "Sherman, what's the square root of 2,000,602 ?" " That's a hard one." " Four thousand, 41 4.426... 3855." "Oh, yes !" "Oh, Sherman, yes !" "Oh, fabulous !" "Oh !" " Dynamite !" "Dynamite !" " That's so lovely." "This go out to the new Mr. and Ms. Sherman Klump." " Hear !" "Hear !" " Come on, ya'll." "Take it down." "~ A one ~" "~ In a million ~" "~ Chance ~" "~ Ofa lifetime ~ [ Chuckles ] That sounds good." "~ And I ~~" "Whoo !" "Ernie, this mine." "This mine, Ernie." "Yes, indeed." "You surely are one in a million." "And I am fii nally in charge, all right ?" "All the way in charge." "Sherman Klump in charge." "You know I saved Sherman's life." "Clesius Klump, stop all that bragging." "Come on." "Dance with me." "Excuse us." "I'll get right back at ya." "Okay, youguys, you ready ?" "You know what this means, don't you ?" " [ Squeaking ] - [Ernie] Piece ofhappiness to callmy own." "~~~Andlife's worth living again~~~" "Anna Pearl, you are looking foxy fii ne tonight." "Oh !" "Yeah, you got me feeling like I'm 20 years old again." "Oh, Cle" " Ooh !" "Ooh, Clesius, is thatyour" "Mm-hmm." "You damn right." "Hercules, Hercules, Hercules, Hercules !" "~~~ One in a million~~~" "~~~Million Make that a billion~~~" "~~~No, a trillion Oh, azillion~~~" "~~~ You, you~~~" "~~~ You, you~~~" "~ Oh ~" "~~~ Oh, Lord, Lord~~~" "~ You, you, you ~~ [ Sobbing ]" "I love you,Joe College !" "~~~Hey, hey hey, hey, hey~~~" "~~~Macho, macho man~~~ ~~~Macho man, yeah~~~" "~~~l've got to be a macho man~~~ [ Thud ]" "~~~Macho, macho man, yeah~~~~~~" "Klump ?" "[Clatters]" "Aw, shit." "The prop's falling apart." "You get the heart pumping with the red wine." "The better the circulation." "Pumping heart, red wine." "One and one is two." "Powerful erection." "Powerful erection !" "Oh !" "Clesius !" "You bitches done ruined everthing." "I just told you, bitch !" "I'm gonna kickyour ass now !" "I'm logging you too." "What have ldone ?" "What have ldone ?" "What have ldone, O Lord ?" "[ Yells ]" "Hurr, Clesius." "Hurr." "Hurr, Clesius." "Oh, Clesius." "Lord, hurr." "Clesius, my "ariolas" is gonna pop." "See you tomorrow." "See you tomorrow." "~ Oh, happy day Oh, happy day, happy day ~" "~ Oh, happy day ~ ~ Happy day ~~" "~~~Doesn 't matter what yourfriends are tellingyou~~~" "~~~Doesn 't matter what my family's saying too~~~" "~~~ltjust matters that I'm in love withyou~~~" "~~~lt only matters thatyou love me too~~~" "~~~lt doesn 't matter ifthey won't acceptyou~~~" "~~~l'm accepting ofyou andthe thingsyou do~~~" "~~~Just aslong asit'syou~~~" "~~~Nobody butyou baby, baby~~~" "~~~My love foryou~~~" "~~~ Unconditionallove too~~~" "~~~ Gottaget up, get up get up, get up, get up andshowyou that it~~~" "~~~Doesn 't really matter what the eye is seeing~~~" "~~~ 'Cause I'm in love with the innerbeing~~~" "~~~No, it doesn 't really matter what they believe~~~" "~~~ What matters to me is that you're in love with me~~~" "~~~Doesn 't really matter what the eye is seeing~~~" "~~~ 'Cause I'm love with the innerbeing~~~" "~~~No, it doesn 't really matter what they believe~~~" "~~~ What matters to me isyou're nutty, nutty, nutty forme~~~" "~~~ You're so kind~~~" "~~~Just what laskedfor You're so loving andkind~~~" "~~~Andyou're mine~~~" "~~~Andlcan't believe you're mine~~~" "~~~Doesn 't matter ifyou're feeling insecure~~~" "~~~Doesn 't matter ifyou're feeling so unsure~~~" "~~~ 'Cause I'll take away the doubt withinyourheart~~~" "~~~Andshowthat my love willneverhurt orharm~~~" "~~~Doesn 't matter what thepain we go through~~~" "~~~Doesn 't matter ifthe money'sgone too~~~" "~~~Just aslong asl'm withyou~~~" "~~~Nobody butyou baby, baby~~~" "~~~ Yourlove forme~~~" "~~~ Unconditionallsee~~~" "~~~ Gottaget up, get up get up, get up, get up andshowyou that it~~~" "~~~~~~[lnstrumentalBreak]" "~~~Doesn 't really matter what the eye is seeing~~~" "~~~ 'Cause I'm in love with the innerbeing~~~" "~~~No, it doesn 't really matter what they believe~~~" "~~~ What matters to me isyou're in love with me~~~" "~~~Doesn 't really matter what the eye is seeing~~~" "~~~ 'Cause I'm in love with the innerbeing~~~" "~~~No, it doesn 't really matter what they believe~~~" "~~~ What matters to me isyou're nutty, nutty, nutty forme~~~" "~~~Doesn 't really matter what the eye is seeing~~~" "~~~ 'Cause I'm in love with the innerbeing~~~" "~~~No, it doesn 't really matter what they believe~~~" "~~~ What matters to me isyou're in love with me~~~" "~~~Doesn 't really matter what the eye is seeing~~~" "~~~ 'Cause I'm in love with the innerbeing~~~" "~~~No, it doesn 't really matter what they believe~~~" "~~~ What matters to me isyou're nutty, nutty, nutty forme~~~" "~~~ You're so kind~~~" "~~~ Oh,just what laskedfor You're so loving andkind~~~" "~~~Andyou're mine~~~" "~~~Andlcan't believe you're mine~~~" "~~~Doesn 't matter what theysay~~~" "~~~Becauseyou know I'm gonna loveyou anyway~~~" "~~~Doesn 't matter what they do~~~" "~~~ 'Cause my love willalways be withyou~~~" "~~~My love foryou~~~" "~~~ Unconditionallove too~~~" "~~~ Gottaget up, get up get up, get up, get up~~~" "~~~Andshowyou that my love is true~~~" "~~~Andit'sjust foryou~~~" "~~~Doesn 't really matter what the eye is seeing~~~" "~~~ 'Cause I'm in love with the innerbeing~~~" "~~~No, it doesn 't really matter what they believe~~~" "~~~ What matters to me isyou're in love with me~~~" "~~~Doesn 't really matter what the eye is seeing~~~" "~~~ 'Cause I'm in love with the innerbeing~~~" "~~~No, it doesn 't really matter what they believe~~~" "~~~ What matters to me isyou're nutty, nutty, nutty forme~~~" "~~~Nutty, nutty, nutty my love foryou~~~" "~~~ican't believe my dreams come true~~~" "~~~l've finally foundsomebody whose heart is true~~~" "~~~Andbest ofall you love me too~~~" "~~~Andnutty, nutty, nutty my love foryou~~~" "~~~ican't believe my dreams come true~~~" "~~~l've finally foundsomebody whose heart is true~~~" " ~~~Andbest ofallisyou're nutty, nutty, nutty forme~~~ - ~~~Sing~~~" "~~~ Whoa, whoa~~~" "~~~ Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa~~~" "~~~ Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa~~~" "~~~Nutty, nutty, nutty my love foryou~~~" "~~~ican't believe my dreams come true~~~ [Giggles]" "~~~l've finally foundsomeone whose heart is true~~~" "~~~Andbest ofallisyou're nutty, nutty, nutty forme~~~" "~~~Nutty, nutty, nutty my love foryou~~~ l'm always doing that." "~~~ican't believe my dreams come true~~~" "~~~l've finally foundsomebody whose heart is true~~~" "~~~Andbest ofallisyou're nutty, nutty, nutty forme~~~~~~"