"[Carnival music playing]" "[Grumbling]" "Ahh." "[Laughing]" "Ahhhhh!" "[Woman screams]" "Ahh!" "[Sirens]" "This is the police." "Ahh!" "# Life on the outside ain't what it used to be #" "# You know the world's gone crazy #" "# And it ain't safe on the streets #" "# Well there's a trick I know #" "# There's only one place to go #" "# I'm coming home #" "# Oh yeah, I'm coming home #" "[sighs] Sweet, sweet Alice." "The flames in my loins have risen to tickle my heart." "How do I get her to feel the same burning sensation I do?" "Well... call me old fashioned, but there's always the ol' tried and true option of asking a lady out for a drink." "Yes, an excellent suggestion!" "Of course, dating employees is strictly against Superjail regulations." "This would be more like two co-workers spending a little quality time together." "We'll build a bar right here in Superjail." "It'll be the perfect spot for our rendezvous!" "Sir..." "I'm a recovering alcoholic." "Great!" "Then you can be the bartender." "Let's get to work!" "[Screams]" "[Telephone rings]" "Hello." "Uh, yes, hello, Alice." "The warden here." "Uh, I'm sure you've heard about Superjail's brand new watering hole, Superbar?" "No." "Oh." "Um, well, we built a bar inside Superjail and..." "Uh, Alice, how would you feel about attending the grand opening with Superjail's most eligible bachelor?" "I'll be there." "What'd she say, sir?" "She said... yes!" "Woo-hoo, woo-hoo!" "[Crash]" "So many choices." "Teeny, meany, tiny..." "Moe." "Hey, where's everybody going?" "Wouldn't you like to know." "[All talking at once]" "Welcome to Superbar!" "[Jukebox plays] 14 beers on tap, including 3 microbrews!" "And don't forget to order our special warden wings, prison poppers, or solitary caesar salad!" "The buffoon has opened a saloon." "A saloon for baboons." "[Laughing]" "Time to par-tay!" "I gotta hit the can." "Huh?" "Left hand..." "loins." "Right foot, nuggets." "[Giggling girlishly]" "[Mechanical warden head]" "The war-den says:" "If you sprin-kle when you tin-kle, please be neat and wipe the seat!" "[Crash]" "[Mechanical laughing dies]" "The time is upon us!" "Look to the sky for the ship of the apocalypse!" "...and that's when I noticed that the tunnel leads directly to the sea gate!" "Makin' it to the gate is no prob, how we gonna make it to the surface?" "With this!" "I ain't climbing' inside no asscrack!" "We steal the parts from the bar, assemble it here in the bathroom and mule our way through the water to freedom." "Who's in?" "Tweet!" "Okay, everybody, I'll do my song." "Should, I?" "Should, I?" "Alright, I will!" "Here it goes." "# Well..." "# when you living in a prison #" "# And your feeling so good, it's just 22 feet to the par-ty bar #" "# Party bar totally cool #" "Having fun everyone?" "I hope so." "# Drinking all night, with your inmate friends #" "# Heading for the party bar-r heading for the party bar!" "#" "# It's a party in my party bar ##" "I love it." "Jaaaaaaaaaared!" "Come out to play." "Have a sip, Jared!" "Come one, you've earned it!" "We'll never tell!" "Nooooo!" "Lookin' good..." "Hey, Chollo..." "No chance string bean..." "Nice abs..." "Perfect!" "Is this seat taken?" "Alice?" "!" "?" "What in the world are you doing here..." "Alice..." "Who's this?" "I brought a date." "But I thought you came here to meet me." "Come on, sweet cheeks." "Mommy's thirsty." "Jared." "Get me a drink!" "And make it a double." "Another!" "[Crying]" "I gotta take a leak." "When I get back, we're doing body shots." "I'm free!" "It's Alice!" "Hold her off as long as you can!" "Game of pool, Alice?" "Shoot some darts, Alice?" "Hot wings, Alice?" "[Screaming from pain]" "So, uh..." "Dude, how's your date going?" "Huh?" "I was suppose to be Alice's date." "Yes!" "And she was gonna fall in love with me." "And now it's you who's got your dirty little hands all over my sweet Alice... instead of me!" "Sir, maybe you've had enough." "Let me expl... hey!" "Mind your own business, bartender, and just keep the [beep] Damn drinks comin'!" "Goodbye, cruel world!" "I can't take it anymore!" "Watch out!" "Here comes Jared, it's party time!" "Yaaaaaay!" "Alright, alright," "No time for dress rehersals let's go!" "Knock, knock." "Playing hard to get." "That's my kind of foreplay!" "Pugilism is usually something that's beneath me, but I must defend the honor of m'lady!" "...build the bar, clean up this mess... thinks he's so great..." "I'm the warden, I can do whatever I want," "I love Alice, blah, blah, blah." "I'll show him who really runs this place!" "Hold on tight, boys, this is it!" "The end is neigh!" "Prepare yee for my first volley!" "Surf is up..." "Beach blanket blammo..." "Aah!" "[Horror screams]" "Uh!" "Oh, god, what have I done?" "!" "?" "Uh!" "[Coughs]" "Alice." "You saved me." "You have... feelings for me." "Keep dreaming." "Dating co-workers is against regulation." "...and then he kicked my mom and Luke off daddy's boat!" "What'd he look like?" "He look like like that!" "[All screams]"