"THE COSMONAUT" "1957." "We had installed an antenna on our roof in Turin" "Our house was located on a strategic path" "that enabled us to listen to radio messages from the USSR" "My brother and I used to listen to the launching of each rocket." "Yes, Sputnik 1... with its..." "The heartbeat of Laika, the little dog..." "Gagarin's first words..." ""I don't see any God up here..."" "John Glenn..." "We spent whole nights awake in front of our receivers." "One day..." "German astronomy radio observatories locked on some strange noises in frequencies normally used by the Soviets." "We hurried to listen." "It was a Morse code signal." "But the signal, rather than orbiting the Earth was at a fixed point, sounding lower every time." "It was a spaceship moving away from Earth." "We fine-tuned the signal and the beeps became... a sound." "Thanks to my father, who was a doctor, we discovered it was a heartbeat." "A human one." "Soon after that, the USSR announced that a spaceship had vanished in the edge of our atmosphere." "An unmanned craft." "Obviously." "They concealed everything." "From then on it was all crazy." "In a disused German bunker we built the world's most famous amateur radio station." "Torre Bert." "They were amazing times." "Packed with emotion." "The world's two superpowers that could have destroyed everything overnight, were, at the same time" "competing to conquer space, to be the first out there." "To go further." "Back then, there was a true love for space..." "At the beginning, the Russians won everything." "The first satellite, the first animal in space, the first man, the first woman, the first space walk..." "While the Americans suffered one explosion after another, amassed one failure after another." "However, when the Americans reached the Moon..." "It was all over." "There was nothing left to explore." "Nothing to win." "Interest in space faded." "And the USSR... lost." "Despite winning everything else... they lost because they never managed to reach the Moon." "The Moon was a long awaited dream, it was everything." "And they let it slip away..." "APRIL 18th, 1975" "So here I am, I hope this is working right, if it isn't it must be broken, which is your fault, Andrei, thank you." "I've decided to record as much as I possibly can for a post-flight analysis." "As you know, something must have damaged the Kolibri's communications antenna." "as all attempts to contact you guys have proven futile." "I'm currently on my third orbit of the Moon." "There she is, out there." "Isn't she beautiful?" "It's hard to sum up how staggering it is without sounding clichéd or corny." "So, here I am..." "Quarter of a million kilometers away from home, all alone, and the sense of isolation is..." "Well, it's pretty overwhelming." "The good news is I made this piece of shit work." "It wasn't poetry in motion or textbook, but it did take off from the Moon." "So here I am..." "In deep space..." "Solar panels are history... and unless I can find a gas station on the way back" "I'm pretty fucked." "7 MONTHS LATER" "¿Nikolai?" "The Kolibri module is coming back." "Yes..." "Yes..." "Ok." "The Kolibri is reentering the atmosphere." "He's coming back." "I know it's been a long time and I know it's impossible." "Do you think it's a coincidence that he's coming to Earth?" "Come on." "It's gonna land in less than an hour." "AGS seems burnt and out of function." "I see 3.0 in register 1." "Previous reading: 2.9." "Spacecraft entered a ballistic orbit during reentry, sir." "Accelerations up to 21Gs are expected." "Rescue team's ready." " Ready." "Recalculate the route." "Do we have a range?" " 20 km sir." "Tracking stations." " Notified and waiting." "Re-route the rescue teams to the Orsk area." "Nothing!" "Anything?" " Nothing!" "Nothing over here!" "I've found it!" "Come over here!" "The spacecraft is empty!" "There's no one inside!" "Chaika, do you read me?" "Over." "Chaika, do you read me?" "Where the fuck am I?" "Right, teams of two!" "Let's go on and find him!" "That way." "You, with me." "Come on!" "Do you hear me?" "I'll give you my coordinates." "They are 40342004." "Chaika, a storm is coming, it's very close." "Tell the rescue mission to find me as soon as possible." "Over!" "My muscles are weak from all the time I've spent in zero gravity." "That was a dirty stunt, Stas." "You either come back or you don't." "But I don't like to be fooled." "Did you sleep at all?" "I don't like what I see when I sleep." "Yulia, you have to get some sleep." "This is ridiculous." "Can you just?" "..." "Just please take the pills the doctor gave you." "I've already started." "Ok..." "I'll make some coffee." "Don't worry, I'll do it." "Today is june 15th... 1976." "My name is Stas Arsenievich." "I'm a soviet cosmonaut." "I write this diary to leave a record of my arrival." "There's no one here." "It's like the whole human race has been killed in a nuclear explosion or melted or..." "Everything else is still here." "Every leaf waterfall bird,..." "Everything looks exactly like Earth..." "Except it isn't." "They had this massive antenna, they were receiving the signal." "I don't care!" "I just hope that someday, if somebody talks about us it's because we did something worth talking about." "Cheers to that." "Andrei Sergeevich Vasiliev... you should rest." "I can't." "A memory is similar to a virus." "It's unique, it can remain asleep for years and when it comes to life it spreads, it divides, it multiplies and it can eat you alive." "This is my beer to spare." "Excuse me young lady, is this man bothering you?" "Cause I can get rid of him for you if you like." " Really?" "Thank you boys." " There you go." "Gentlemen, on the house." "You got..." "She is salty." "This isn't gonna work." "What's your solution then?" "I don't know." "Wait." "Wow!" "Sorry, ok!" " Sorry..." "Lo siento, solo queríamos hielo." " I'm sorry..." "Ok, so..." "Show me your hand." "First one out, loses." "Loses what?" " The girl, balland." "Ok..." "Pact of silence." "We never talk to each other about her." "Ever." "Deal?" " Deal." "Ok..." "T minus ten." "Nine... eight... seven... six... three, two, one." "Today I drank water from a stream." "I also ate the meat leftovers by the bonfire but they tasted of ash and I had to spit them out." "I heard a scream in the distance and I ran towards it." "Beats bouncing inside my chest very fast." "I screamed with all my heart." "I laugh, my eyes filled with tears." "But there was no one there." "Do you know why I started to work here?" "You never told me." "When I was seventeen I spent the summer with my parents in the country and I met this boy." "He was a pilot." "It was..." "It was the best summer." "It was perfect." "And then at the end of it, he just vanished." "I keep thinking... that he'll be on the next busfull of new recruits." "Or the next one." "So you're not here because you love your job?" "I hate space." "It's such a... such a bizarre place..." "There's so much to see down here." "If you were a time traveler, but you could only travel in one direction, which one would you chose?" "Forward or back?" "A few years ago, I would have said back, for sure." "Now I'm not so certain." "I'm scared to death, you know?" "I don't recall having dreams before." "Theres was a small crystalline pond" "Theres was a small crystalline pond blue, red, and silver colors." "And all was bathed by the sun in such an intense way" "Everything was normal except there was a lack of atmosphere." "The tree, the pool... everything floated adrift in space." "I was impressed to see the stars so clearly." "Let's show the cards." "Don't be shy boy." "Friends of friends are always welcomed." "Let's see what you got." "Tell them the story you told me and Vladimir the other day." "Ok..." "So my parents run a collective farm producing wheat and potatoes," "I was very young, to look after the labourers." "We had this one worker who..." "He is the laziest human being you've ever seen in your life." "From Moldovia!" " From Moldovia!" "And the guy answered, "Yes, I would"." "But here comes the best part, tell them what you answered." "So I said "Ok, you're fired"." "Well I know somebody, who definitely should be fired." "Come on, don't be shy." "Alexander Illich, say the name:" "Mishin." "Yeah..." "Fucking bureaus are gonna be shit." "Not that Glushko's is looking any better." "Ever since these little bastards beat us in the moon" "When is the Almaz gonna be launch?" "That would give the americans something to talk about." "Two to three years... at least." "So Chelomei is not working on his lunar project anymore?" "You keep your boy well informed, don't you?" "That project is dead, kid!" "Being second is a disgrace." " King of spades." "I disagree." "Are we playing cards or are we talking?" "Let's play and drink." "Come on, no more politics." "Ah, play." "I wonder what it's like not to see." "Blind people." "You know they can hear things we can even imagine" "Of you go!" "Andrei, you're spoiling them again." "Come." "I have something to tell you." "Andrei..." "I'm going to retire." " Really?" "Why?" "I don't want to bother you with the reasons." "I don't want to talk about it" "But I do want you to finally meet Chelomei." "He's put together an impressive team." "His designs are light years ahead of the ones that Koroliov was working on and the ones that Mishin is working on now." "N1 is a dead project, but you know, my friend, everything is politics, hum?" "Maybe one day you can change that." "I've told him, that he can trust you." "He can depend on you." "That you're his man in Star City, am I right?" "am I right?" "Of course." "Thank you." "I remember you telling me something about atoms..." "Twin quantum particles that resonated together, no matter where they were in the universe." "Paradise number four were your lips... exhaling a breath that steamed into the air in successive repetitions." "And the sun was setting..." "I remember that well." "Come on, come on, it's open!" "Ahh, something smells good in here." "Put some music on." "Have you got my milk?" "It's amazing." "Oh, yes please." " No, no, no, no, no." "Can I have a little bit?" "You've been promoted again." " Aren't you going to congratulate me?" "I'm too bored!" " Come on, at least a kiss!" "At least a kiss for a star." "This looks yummy!" "Can I help?" " No, no, you can..." "You know, you never put enough salt." " Here." "Off!" "Yeah..." " No, no, not this one." "Sit down, sit down." " Ok, I'm going, I'm going." "Ah, let's take some of this." " That piece right there has my name on it." "Please sir..." "Well let's pour for everyone first." "I've got reports to finish, and I have to go." "No Stas, the reports can wait." "No rest for the wicked." " Oh, come on." "I'd love staying but thank you." "So..." "I've got you something to celebrate my promotion." "Andrei, I..." " Look, ok, just... just take it." "Alright?" "For me." "I'm so glad you're alive." "They told me today I'm gonna see again." "Hey, that's great news!" "What did I tell you?" "You know, we were doing freefall today." "it's incredible feeling having your body suspended on the air." "You're gonna love it." "No, I'm not going to love it." "I'm not going to love it because I'm not gonna do it." "They're not gonna let me fly anymore Stas." "I'm not gonna be a cosmonaut and I'm not going to space ever." "You don't know that." "I'm sorry but..." "look at it this way... sometimes you know, maybe you have to lose your wings to fly a little bit higher." "Fuck..." "You really think you can say that to me right now" "I'm not going to space ever, alright?" "It's not gonna fucking happen." "There is gonna be everything I spent my fucking life planning for fucked." "Gagarin, Titov, Leonov, not fucking Vasiliev." "They're not gonna know my name!" " Is that what this is about, righ?" "Is this what this is about for you?" " About being someone?" "I could have been somebody Stas, but I am a fucking failure." "Hey, hey, listen to me... this life is about living, not about posterity, not about history books." "It's about doing the best thing you can." "Fuck off." " Right now, you're being pathetic." "Mihailov Alexander Ivanovich," "Volkov Alexei Pablovich," "Limchuck Piotr Ilich," "Vasutich Vladimir Vladimirovich," "Mihailov Stas Arsenievich," "Arseni Alexander Artemyev." "Congratulations and welcome to the cosmonaut fraternity." "As I fell off I thought of a welcome." "Secretly, I also imagined national dances and beautiful women." "I thought about the hurrays and the solemn celebrations." "But they weren't there." "I remember a naked fists fight with a boy." "He liked a girl." "I liked her too." "We never mentioned the subject again." "Even though we continued being friends." "Private?" "Ah, it's good to see you." "Feels like it's been ages." " It's been two weeks." "With the launch preparations I haven't got a spare minute." "I forgot you're so important these days." "How is it working at the OKB- 52?" "It's amazing." "I can't believe I'm working with Chelomei." "You?" "I'm ok, can't complain." "How's your cousin?" "I can always write you some leave if you wanna go visit her." "No that's ok." "It's too far." "You can tell her from me that she still owes me that date." "You are like a dog on heat." "What's it with you and women?" "Isn't one enough?" "I just have a thirst that can't be quenched, comrade." "How's the move going?" "Be ended by the end of next week." "It's almost finished." "What about you?" "You gonna spend the rest of your life in this poky little dorm room?" "You're joking right?" "It's the most comfortable place on Earth." "And soon, thanks to you," "I'll be heading for the stars." " Now he's a poet!" "When I woke up, in the dream, the only thing that remained from this planet was a faint light a light prior to the instants," "something primeval... very... basic." "I remembered some words:" ""I had been able to glimpse the brain's autumn," ""the last scene of reason," ""and then a light that froze my blood."" "Paradise one were two seagulls that flew over the water." "Paradise two were a cluster of clouds in the northern east skies." "Yesterday I sensed a strange presence." "There was no one there but I still felt it." "You know I don't believe in ghosts but stil..." "For a few seconds, I ceased to hear." "An absolute silence." "I screamed petrified and hit with my fist the ash that covered it all." "I have forgotten your name." "You scared me." "You been there long?" "No." "You could've knocked." "I've brought you some berries." "Hi, it's, it's me." "Do you know where Stas is?" "Look, are you sitting down?" "You're not going to believe what I'm going to tell you." "The americans are coming to Star City to train with us." "There's going to be a joint mission between Apollo and Soyuz." "Yes." "It's gonna be the first docking of two countries in space." "And they've asked me to take charge of our end of the mission." "I didn't know what to say." "Ok." "Ok, I'll see you later." "Andrei, Brehznev has asked me to develop the UR- 700 programme." "Excuse me, sir?" "The Moon Programme I designed." "The one they cancelled." "Yes, yes, of course." "It's just that..." "I know, the N1 is a big fat iron bird that's never gonna fly." "We have a chance here of doing things right for once." "An open mission?" " Don't be naïve." "It'll only be disclosed if we step foot on the Moon." "Wow..." "I don't know what to say..." "I want you to take charge of the mission." "Sir?" " I won't take a no for an answer." "We'll talk soon." "Bye my dear Andrei." "A technician from over there at NASA was telling me a joke the other day." "Made me promise I wouldn't get angry." "If only he knew the half of it..." "So Brezhnev is in the Kremlin and he's showing his mom around the place, as you do." "He shows her rooms with beautiful ornaments, luxurious banqueting halls..." "Oh, and the garage, which of course is crammed full of limousines." "And he says to her:" ""Don't you think your son has done pretty well by himself mama?" "Are you proud?"." "And his mother replies:" ""Not so much proud, darling, as worried." ""What if the bolsheviks return?"." "I want you to be serious Andrei." "Personal feelings aside for a moment, no preferences, no judgements." "Who do you think should go?" "I would say the situation is almost comical... except it isn't." "You wanna know the truth?" "I bet if you find these tapes you won't like to hear this, but..." "I wish I had stayed on the moon." "At least I was happy there." "I dreamt we landed on the moon and won the space race." "The space race is just american propaganda." "It's a name they gave to something that we started and that we're gonna finish." "You're starting to sound like one of them." "All right, you're having this, you're having this." "Eat, open, open up, open up." "Oh yes, yum." "Happy new year." "Happy new..." "The salami..." "I'm sending Stas to the moon." "Do you know what you're doing?" "They asked me who was the best man." "So you said it was Stas?" "I'm giving him what he wants, Yulia." "Where are you cosmonaut?" "I need your body." "Paradise number four were your lips, exhaling a breath that steamed into the air in successive repetitions." "I've seen you wearing this sometimes." "Who gave it to you?" "No one." "I've used it as the mission's logo." "You don't mind, do you?" "No." "No, of course you can use it." "A bow and arrow?" " It's a bow and arrow for mister important over there." "See if he goes to get some lunch cause I am getting hungry." "Say?" "My shoe!" "Oh no!" "Oh no look!" " Your shoe!" "Look the shoe is lost!" "Oh, it's being torpedoed!" " No, no, no, no." "Look at that!" "That's not going to be nice to wear now." "You want it?" " Yes." "Oh, the color, is like..." "Give the lady your shoe." "There you go, that's for you." " It's like... cosmonaut training." "Oh, I feel like Cinderella." "Lovely." "And now we can leave him by himelsef." "It is 39827." "Pitch trimm is 003." "Roll trimm is 987." "Time... zero, SRB." "Ignition." "Lift off." "Control, what did you say?" "Repeat." "We didn't say anything, Stas." "THREE DAYS LATER" "So..." "I've made Earth's orbit." "It's gonna be mighty tricky to get down there though." "I don't..." "I don't have enough... energy to force the re-entry." "Andrei..." "I love you pal." "I remember your eyes clearly... your nose... your hair..." "And stupid things like... the number of freckles you have." "Yulia for goodness sake..." "Would you just... put some music on, the static is giving me a headache." "I..." "I am really... really... sorry." "I'm sorry." "I'm gonna miss you both." "I'm gonna miss you." "I'm gonna miss you." "I can see..." "I can see..." "I can see... the three of us... together again." "Walking... walking along the beach." "I've arrived to a place I can recognize." "There was a sign I couldn't read but I remember it's name:" "Starry townlet." "I remember where you used to live but..." "I'm not sure I want to go." "As I walked closer I started to hear drums." "The closer I am, the more deafening the sound becomes." "The relics of a lost future?" "Our future?" "I can't allow myself to think like that." "You understand, right?" "Plus, I feel you closer everyday." "This... civilization, this country..." "They might be all a bunch of collapsed ruins." "I don't care." "It's you and me I care about, cosmonaut." "I want you back." "Since..." "Since he died she's just..." "She's different." "It's like she's... thin." "And I don't mean her body or..." "She's not quite there." "She just..." "She doesn't even drink water." "Oh, god..." "She doesn't eat, she doesn't sleep, she doesn't..." "No." "No." "I don't wanna work." "I don't wanna..." "I can't focus, and I don't wanna..." "Don't want to go to that place." "I had this..." "I had this crazy... crazy dream." "I was talking to Stas and..." "I asked him:" ""Was it worth it Stas?" ""Was it worth losing her to leave a footprint on the moon?"." "He said:" ""No."" ""No, it wasn't."" ""But for just one..." ""fraction of second..." ""I felt alive."" "No." "Of course." "Yeah, of course." "Yulia!" "Oh, God!" "Oh, God!" "Help!"