"[engine fires up]" "¶ On an outer space adventure" "¶ They got hit by cosmic rays" "¶ And the four were changed forever" "¶ In some most fantastic ways" "¶ No need to fear, they're here" "¶ Just call the Four" "¶ Fantastic Four" " ¶ Don't need no more - ¶ That's ungrammatical" "¶ Reed Richards is elastic" "¶ Sue can fade from sight" "¶ Johnny is the Human Torch" "¶ The Thing just loves to fight" "¶ Call the Four" "¶ Fantastic Four" "Eat napalm, fish breath." "It burns underwater." "Incoming." "Yow!" "[high-pitched call]" "[thunderous footsteps]" "[roars]" "Looks like Namor got himself a date for the party." "That means it's clobberin' time!" "[jaunty music, applause]" "Fantastic." "And I mean that in the most respectful sense of the word." "But I think what telethon viewers really want to know is how you got your fantastic powers." "The whole story is here in our book, Dick." "We wrote it just for your telethon to raise scholarship money for State University, Reed's alma mater." "The intrinsic value of a college education..." "Hey!" "Education's a good cause." "So you out there, get on the phones and start buying books, before I get steamed." "That's a real smooth pitch, Ben." "Hey, don't get cute with me, you walking hotfoot." "Hey, guys." "The origin of your powers, please." "I wanna see some bread first." "Will you cool it, Ben?" "[grunts] Hmm." "Oh, okay." "But I'd better hear a whole mess of ringy-dingies." "Well, Dick, our story begins several years back in my lab, when an amazing phenomena came streaking into our galaxy." "[Ben] Are you kidding?" "I seen wilder stuff at Captain Louie's Video Arcade." "[Reed] It appears to be moving faster than the speed of light." "But that's impossible." "Isn't it, Sis?" "I must evaluate it at closer range." "But, Reed, sweetheart, wait." "Whatever this streaking phenomenon is, it may pose a threat to the Earth." "You're my husband." "I can't let you go alone." "Me either, Brain-O, 'cause you're no pilot." "And I still don't like it." "Your new doohickey hasn't even been road-tested." "Besides which, you got no shieldin' for cosmic ray protection." "Recent data indicate no negative effects from exposure to cosmic rays." "[Reed] However, actinic solar rays do have cumulative injurious effects..." "[Ben] Okay, all right, all right." "But just promise not to explain everything when we're up there." " [Reed] All systems on-line." " [Ben] Brace for blastoff." "[Ben] On five, four, three, two... [rocket whooshes]" "[Reed] If my calculations are correct, our flight path will intersect with the phenomenon's trajectory... now." "[Reed, narrating] We didn't know it then, but the phenomenon had disrupted an unknown energy field, and that occurrence mysteriously altered normally harmless cosmic rays..." "Cosmic rays?" "Yeah." "I, I tried to warn him, but, oh, would he listen to me?" " Oh, no." " Ben, we're on televisión." "I know." "It still steams my clams." "I mean, the world's greatest scientist." "He didn't know beans about them cosmic..." "Thing." "Er, Mr. Grimm, please." "I'd really like to get back to your story." "Yeah, whatever you say, Dick." "What happened next was incredibly frightening and amazing." "[explosions, alarms]" "Reed, Johnny's on fire." "I can't let go." "But it... it doesn't hurt." "I'm coming, Johnny." " Oh. [shrieks]" " Sue, darling!" "You've got to get out from under before it collapses." "I, I can't." "You've got to try, darling. [pants]" "If I could just reach... your hand." "[strains] I can't reach that far." "[strains]" "When I lift it, you both run for it, okay?" "All right." "Ready..." " [strains] Set..." " [eerie cosmic noises]" "[alarms] [all strain]" "[Reed] By all rights, we should've been finished, but then miraculously, the autopilot kicked in." "We all survived." "Oh, darling." " Johnny, Ben." " Yeah, we made it." "But it was just dumb luck, if you ask me." "Whatever it was, we're here." "We're all alive." "[Reed] But we would soon find out that things would never be the same." "We'll be right back after this important and extremely commercial message." "[applause]" "Welcome back, friends, this is Gary Owens, and we just passed the $1.5 million plateau." "Truly a fantastic tribute to the Fantastic Four." "Oh, yeah, Mr. Hands-Over-Your-Ears?" "It ain't good enough." "On the contrary, I think it's great." "[mocking] "I think it's great. " Great, schmate." "D'you know what education costs these days?" "Hey, you folks out there." "You better get back on them phones and start kicking in some real dough," " or we're walkin'." " We will do no such thing." "[Fantastic Four all argue]" "While the Fantastic Four have a little heart-to-heart chat, here's the world's greatest dog act:" "Fritz and Cootie." "[applause]" "A dog act?" "All right, pick it up, Reed." "You were saying how we survived the crash." "While we failed to unlock the secret of the streaking phenomenon, at least we were all still there to talk about it." "And then..." "Just as I was saying." "But we still don't know if there'll be aftereffects from the flight." "I..." "I feel so strange." "Huh?" "What?" "Hey, you're not gonna throw up, are you?" " [Reed] Sue!" " [Johnny] Sis!" "[Ben] She..." "She's fading away." "What is it?" "What's wrong?" "Oh." "Reed?" " Reed." " Sue, speak to us." "[Sue] What happened to me?" "The streaking phenomenon must have destabilized the cosmic rays, and altered your atomic structure, making you invis..." " Uh." " [footsteps]" " Invisible." " Oh, sweetheart." "No." "How long will I be this way?" "I..." "There's no way of knowing." "But what if she never gets visible again?" "No." "Hey, look, everybody, she's coming back." "I did it myself." "Just by thinking about it." "Oh, thank heavens you're all right." "All right?" "Huh." "How do you know she won't turn invisible again?" "How do you know that something even more rotten ain't gonna happen to the rest of us?" "I don't." "No one does." "Scientific exploration is dangerous." "[Ben growls] Stop trying to talk your way out of this." "[growls] [gruff voice] You were too big-headed to try and listen when I warned you." "Now it's time you learned a lesson." "He's turned into a thing." "[Ben] Batter up!" "No, Ben, stop and think." "You've got to think about it." "Think, Ben!" "Okay..." "I think you need clobberin'." "What's with this stretcho jazz?" "What's goin' on?" "What's happened to us all?" "Those cosmic rays turned you into monsters." "It's makin' me crazy." "I mean..." "No wonder I've been feeling warm and funny." "I'm changed too." "Whoa!" "Wh..." "I can fly!" "[laughs] Whoa!" "Oh." "Oh, man, that was fantastic." "[Ben] You can say that again, Mr. Blowtorch." "You better chill out." "Together, we have more power than four beings have ever possessed." "[Ben] Oh, stand back, folks, here it comes." "I suppose you're gonna give us some sheep-dip about using our powers "for the good of mankind. " Right?" " Right?" " Right, Ben." "Absolutely right." "I'm gonna call myself..." "The Human Torch." "And I'll be with you as The Invisible Woman." "Oh, and maybe you should call yourself Mr. Fantastic." "Well, er, rather presumptuous, but it does have a ring to it." "Mr. Fantastic, it is." "One of us is missing." "Ben?" "Er,..." "I'm in, but I..." "I ain't Ben no more." "Look..." "Like Sue said, now I'm just a muscle-bound Thing." "[Reed] But things weren't easy for us, Dick." "[Ben] Wait till I get my violin before I start sobbing." "[Reed] When we started, not many New York apartment buildings were eager to have us as tenants." "Then it's the four of you, Professor Richards." "You, your wife, your brother-in-law, John M. Storm..." " [pop]" " Ah, that's just "Johnny. "" "And Benjamin J. Grimm." "What is your relation to the others, may I ask?" "Er, none of your business, I may answer." "Yes, of course." "Now, then, about your experiments, professor." "They won't be dangerous, noisy or smelly, will they?" "Hey." "I'm dangerous, noisy and smelly." "You don't like it?" "What am I supposed to do?" "Sleep in the park?" "Hey, for the rent you're charging us, you shouldn't care if we're breeding hogs in here." " You're rude." "Very rude." " Oh, yeah?" "You're a dingbat!" "The rent is high, Ben, but you must admit that we're rather, er, unusual tenants." "Now, we have some shopping to do and, er,..." "What are you doing?" "I'm making a grilled cheese sandwich." "[Sue] We do our cooking in the kitchen." "Darling, did I hear you say "shopping"?" "[Reed] And so we went out, little dreaming we were heading into our very first strange adventure as the Fantastic Four." " Vos vas dos, Harold?" " You got me, Maurice." "Guys, look." "[Sue] Somebody has to save him." "[Reed] The police can't get close enough." "[lady] Witnesses report the young man seems to be in some sort of trance...  no one knows the identity...  [man] Identity indeed." "He's nothing." "A mere nobody I observed on the subway one day." "But now I have crafted his likeness in my special neuro-kinetic clay, he's mine to control." "Can't... [groans]... reach." "It's just... too far." "It can't be!" "Someone whose power is greater than mine." "This may burn, but it's better than going splat." "Stop!" "Only I control the destiny of my living puppets." "The flames." "Father!" "I heard you cry out in pain." " How did you burn yourself?" " No, don't call me "Father. "" "How many times must I remind you?" "I'm your stepfather." "You're no child of mine." "I want to help you if you've been hurt." "You're blocking my view, Alicia." "You may be blind, but I can see perfectly." " [Thing grunts] - [man] What are you doing?" "Detour, buddy." "I got a friend coming in for a landing." "No one must steal my power!" "My glory!" " [applause]" " Almost 3 million and climbing." "Let's hear it." "[applause, whistling]" "Okay, Dick." "We're doing better." "But now I'm gonna put us over the top." "All right, ya gonzos!" "I'm gonna give the first hundred of you coach potatoes that pledge a thousand bucks or more my personal body building lessons absolutely free." "One, two... five, six." "No bully's gonna kick sand in your face when yours truly gets done." "Put biceps on your triceps in only ten quick steps." "Kill camera two." "Camera four on Reed." "Now, Reed, you were telling us about the Puppet Master." "We had no idea what a cunning and desperate adversary he'd prove to be." "His grasp of strange science was as startling as it was dangerous." "Careful." "Mustn't overfill the matrix." "Yes." "Whoever, and whatever, you are, you shall be the first to serve me." "And through you," "I shall conquer and control your powerful friends." "There." "Now no force on earth can prevent you from coming to me." "Your new master." "Come, my puppet." "Come." "Uh." "Come on, let me in, Reed." "I wanna see what you're workin' on." "Come to me." " Now." " Uh?" "I said I'm not really ready to show this particular experiment to visitors, Ben." "Hey, who's a visitor?" "I'm one of the Fantastic Four, ain't I?" "Come." "Well, there's no need to be offended." "I'd better keep an eye on him." "If he saw you and Johnny trailing him, he'd be furious." "Be careful, Sue." "Uh, Sue, darling?" "She's gone, Reed." "At least I think she is." "It's kinda tough to tell, when your sister's invisible." "How many times have I told you?" "Don't play with fire in the house." "Well, excuse me." "He's heading into a house on Sullivan Street and I don't wanna lose him." "I'll be in touch." "[Puppet Master] I've been expecting you." "Come to me." "What is it, Stepfather?" "Do we have guests?" "Only one guest, Alicia." "Do make him comfortable." "Good afternoon, I'm Alicia Masters." "And your name is?" "That's not important." "What a strong, gentle man you are." "With a strange sadness..." "I can feel in my heart." "Oh, hello." "Your other guest has arrived, Stepfather." "You're imagining things, girl." "No, I'm not." "I can sense her presence." "Yes, her." "I feel sure it's a woman." "You're indoors too much, Alicia." "Your mind is playing tricks." "I long ago learned to trust your instincts." "If we do have an uninvited guest, this sleep gas will deal with her." "[coughing]" "There is someone after all." "Good work, Alicia." "I don't understand." "Why are you using sleep gas to greet someone?" "I must try to stay awake now." "Let me think..." "Call..." "Reed." "J" " Johnny..." "[Puppet Master] That woman was on televisión with our other guest earlier today." "What a delightful development." "I could not have planned it better." "You're scaring me, Stepfather." " What's happening?" " Stop your prattling, girl." "I'm trying to think." "Yes." "The resemblance is uncanny." "It shall be no problem for the Puppet Master." "Come, I have work for you." "There, my child." "You will at last pay your debt to me for caring for you, when your mother ran away from me in fear and loathing." "Too terrified to even return for you." "Excellent." "Only two things more." "Your eyes, girl." "Open your eyes." "The contact lenses are perfect." "Now, put on her clothes, Alicia." "Quickly!" "My stepdaughter's presence at your side will convince the flaming torch and the man who stretches that their friends have returned." "When they let you in, destroy them." "I'm ready, Stepfather, but I don't understand the purpose of this masquerade." "It's a friendly joke, child." "You said you could sense my guest's goodness." "Would he ever engage in wrongdoing?" "No, of course not." "Then go." "Now... my great work begins." "Once my obedient puppet has destroyed his powerful friends," "I will activate my criminal army and quickly terrorize and dominate the city." "I shall be master!" "Master!" "Anyone I wish!" "[laughs maniacally] [man growls]" "...tomorrow's telecast for the rest of the story of the origin of the Fantastic Four." "To be continued." "And keep them calls coming in." "Or else." "¶ There's Galactus looking hungry" "¶ And Doctor Doom is near" "¶ Here come the Skrulls invading" "¶ Do you run and hide in fear?" "¶ No way, no way, no way" "¶ Just call the Four" "¶ Fantastic Four" "¶ That's all, no more Now, that's grammatical" "¶ Reed Richards is elastic" "¶ Sue can fade from sight" "¶ Johnny is the Human Torch" "¶ The Thing just loves to fight" "¶ Call for the Four" "¶ Fantastic Four"