"[lively music]" "♪ ♪ [thunder rumbles] [bat screeches]" " Whoopie, Skull Beary!" "Time for another hideous day of inflecting soul-crushing misery on unsuspecting innocents." "[screams] What's happening to my beloved Anti-Fairy World?" "The blood red skies have turned to cheery blue." "The greasy bats have turned into songbirds." "[bird sings]" "Flowers are blooming in the jagged lava fields of my wonderfully tortured youth." "Something has gone terribly right." "[zapping, popping]" " Foop, you've been summoned by the Anti-Fairy Council." " The evil is being drained from Anti-Fairy World, and it's all because of the pure goodness and selflessness of a single fairy godchild." " The fairy godchild in question is one Chloe Carmichael." " Here's a little sample of you-know-who in action." "[crack]" " Ah, yum, yum, yum, blah." "[bird squeaks]" "Be free, BFF." "The Best Flying Friend." "[bird screeches]" " This Chloe Carmichael, she is a threat to everything we stand for." "Soon, her goodness will drain all the bad mojo from our Anti-Fairy Wand, and we'll be doomed to a world filled with bunnies and lollipops." "[electric zapping, fire blazing] [explosion]" " Foop, to save our world, we need you to turn this girl from good to evil." "Make her snap!" " You picked the right square blue baby for the job." "I'm super irritating." " You certainly are." " You're the worst." " Everyone hates you." " You flatter me." "To carry out my mission," "I'm going to use this magical, to die for, heart-shaped pendant to transform myself into the most demoralizing creature in the known universe, a popular, middle school girl!" "[dramatic music]" "Check me out." "I am all that." "I'm off in my super cute shoes to, like, totally reclaim my bad mojo." "Evil hair flip." "[pop]" "Oh!" "I've poofed into a urinal in the boy's bathroom." "An awkward start, to be sure, but no matter, my magical pendant gives me the popular girl power to cast a spell over everyone so they think I'm awesome, no matter how ridiculous I look, and how horribly I act." "[strains, groans] [thudding] [laughing]" " Wow, I think the new girl is awesome, no matter how ridiculous she looks, and how horribly she acts." "That heavy, porcelain urinal is an absolutely to die for accessory." "I wish I had one!" "[grunts]" " Whoa!" "Who is the new girl, besides the future Mrs. Timmy Turner?" " Oh, I want her to like me so bad," "I'll laugh at everything she says, even though she hasn't said anything yet." " Hi, everyone." "I'm, um, ironic girl named Angel." " Oh, yeah you are." "I love you, Angel." "I'd walk through fire for you." " You will, now that you're under my spell." "Um, I mean, you're, like, totally supes cute." " [laughs] Su--hoo--hoo--hoo" " Oh, hi, everyone." "I was hiding behind my desk, hoping you'd all go away." "Gah, who's the new girl?" "Besides my new bestie?" " Now, with everyone under my spell, it's time to bring down she who must not be named." " Sorry I'm late, Mr. Crocker." "I know you like Fiji apples, so I rode my bike to Fiji to get you one." "Greetings, new girl." "I'm Chloe Carmichael." "Just ask if you need anything." "A tour of the school, an extra pencil, a kidney." " Ooh, you're good, but soon you'll be bad." "One bad apple." "Like the one you gave your teacher." "I, like, totally put Death Star goscorpians in that apple." "[screams] [screams]" " I am so disappointed in you, young lady." "You were the only student in this class who hadn't attacked me with scorpions." "To the principal with you." "Your perfect record has been destroyed forever." "[sobs] Mother." " That's right, you're angry." "Go with it." "Out with the good, in with the bad." "Turn the fluffy bunnies back into greasy bats!" "I realize that sounded weird out of context." " You are a strange and tortured soul, but I forgive you." "[growls] [claw snaps] [groans]" " I need a hall pass!" "[grunts]" " Thanks for helping me with my big clean up day at the park, Timmy." " Well, I heard Angel might be here, but if she doesn't show, I'm going to go look for her, even if I have to walk over hot coals." "She's my bae." " Yeah, about Angel, she seems to be, oh, how should I say this?" "Out to destroy me." "Cosmo, Wanda, what are you doing in human form?" " Duh!" "It makes it a lot easier to lug around this urinal." "I Bedazzled it." " And I'm in human form so I could dress exactly like Angel, because I no longer have any sense of self." " Well, well, well, if it isn't Chloe Carmichael." "Hi!" "I've come to Chloe's Clean up the Park Day-- to ruin it!" "Because now, instead of wasting their time spearing rubbish with a stick, everyone will be driving these environmentally unfriendly sport cars" "I just bought with my rich daddy's credit card." "all:" "Hooray!" " Yay!" "[rock music]" "♪ ♪" " Aw, I see you're frowning." "Now, come on, hate a little." " I don't believe in hate." "I strongly dislike it, but I don't hate it because as previously mentioned, I don't believe in hate." " [retches] I just threw up in my mouth a little, but I won't quit until you turn to the dark side." " I try not to be judgy, but you guys have been acting just a little bit peculiar since Angel showed up." " I have no idea what you're talking about." "Hold on, I have to adjust the shoulder straps on my bedazzled urinal." " And what about you, Timmy?" " Angel's going to be here." "Do I look kissable today?" " [laughs]" " What's so funny?" " Nothing." "I'm practicing for when Angel shows up" "OMG, she's here!" " Well, Chloe and friends, it's your lucky day," "Angel's in the hizzy." "[camera clicks]" "Don't tag me in that post, you loser." " She knows who I am!" " Now to deal with you, Chloe Carmichael." "You pretend to be such a goody two-shoes, but you're really a baddy no-shoes!" " Well, nobody's perfect, but I try extremely hard to be a friend to everyone, especially to Timmy, Cosmo and Wanda." " Oh, really?" "Would a friend do this?" "[all gasp]" " I can't read." "Is it bad?" " It's terrible." "It says, "Timmy, Cosmo, and Wanda" ""are stupid dum dums." "Signed, 'Klowie'"" " What?" "I didn't write that." "I would never call my friends dum dums, or spell my name with a "K"!" " Then how do you explain that can of spray paint in your hand?" " You just put it there!" "Cosmo, Wanda, Timmy, I would never insult you." "I love you guys." " Come on, new besties, let's kick baddy no-shoes to the curb." "My prediction is that Chloe will snap in three, two" " Bye, guys." "If you're happy, I'm happy." " Oh, come on!" "You are killing me." "No one's that good!" "[cries]" " Don't worry, Angel, we're still your friends no matter how horribly you act." " Maybe a kiss will make you feel better." "[mwah]" " Ew, yuck!" "Get away!" "You're not my friends." "I despise you all." "You, with your toilet back, and you with that unbearable laugh." " [laughs] - [yells]" "And you, Mister..." "[smooches] Kissy Face." "I would never date a nerd like you." "I prefer bad boys." "Ah, what am I saying?" "[all crying]" " Listen up, girlie." "You can mess with me all you want, but do not mess with my friends!" "[both grunt] [growls]" "Hi-ya!" "Achoo!" "Wah!" "Ooh, you make me so... angry!" "[smack]" " Well, if I can't destroy you emotionally," "I might as well, you know, just destroy you!" "Ha!" "[groans] [both grunting] [eagle screeches]" "BFF!" "I always knew you'd come back!" " I must be slipping." "I totes forgot about the eagle thing." "Ah!" " What?" "Foop?" " You monster." "What did you do with my angel named Angel?" "Ha!" "Heavy urinal!" " [shouts] I kissed Foop!" "Ew!" "Why?" "[groaning]" " I don't normally use salty language, but what the holy heck is going on here?" " Your pukey goodness was wrecking Anti-Fairy World, so I had to make you snap." "Your fit of rage has no doubt restored Anti-Fairy World to the hideous place it once was." "Evil hair flip." "Drops mic." "Foop out." " Chloe, you saved us from Foop's evil spell." " [groaning]" "I still don't have any idea what's going on, but we're at the mall, so let's all get a corn dog and a funnel cake." "[ominous music]" " Oh, nothing like the sight of greasy bats swooping through a blood red sky." "Ooh, what's this?" "Must be a gift from the Anti-Fairy Council." "Maybe they signed me up for the rotten fruit of the month club." "There's a note!" ""I forgive you." "Love, Chloe"?" "No!" "No one's that good!" "[zapping] [shouts]" "Oh!" "Stupid eagle."