"Oh, George." "Yes, sir?" "Has he seen it?" "Oh..." "Thank you." "The richest man in the world hung in effigy outside his own store on 38th street" "Morning, J.P." "Morning." "I thought I sold everything below 38th street three years ago." "That store is right on 38th street J.P. so we kept it." "Neely Department Store." "N, N, N, N..." "Natural Foundry, Napex Corporation...." "National Radiator, yes Neely Department Store" "You still own it." "This dummy doesn't look like me." "Maybe it's supposed to be one of you." "There's a sign on the dummy with your name on it." "Where?" "M-E-R-R..." "That's all you can see." "What's been done about this?" "!" "We had a talk with the manager of the department store." "He fired the ring leader... and half-a-dozen of the employees who participated in it." "Have this picture enlarged!" "And everybody, even watching it, fired." "Out!" "An excellent suggestion, J.P." "I pay you a great deal to take care of my interests and my privacy" "I want privacy." "I haven't had my photograph in a newspaper in 20 years." "This is temporary, J.P." "Who could have gone to all the trouble of finding out I own this piddly investment?" "Our detective will ferret the whole thing out in no time." "What detective?" "We have a man who is an expert." "If you care to speak with him..." "He'll show you this is a simple little disturbance that really has no significance." "The Boston Tea Party was a little disturbance." "I want to talk to this...detective." "Good day, gentleman." "Good day, JP." "Goodbye." "Good day, JP." "Good day, sir." "There's a detective here for you to interview." "This way, sir." "Thank you." "Sit down." "Thank you." "What's your name?" "Thomas Higgins." "What progress have you made, Higgins?" "I uh, I've gotten a job in the store." "Nobody in the whole store knows I'm a detective except the personnel head." "Not even the general manager" "To Whom It May Concern:" "Thomas Higgins is employed in a confidential capacity, and is accountable only to me." "Arthur Davis" " Personnel Head." "Neely's Department Store." "I see." "I'm a salesman in the childrens show department." "That's the hotbed." "The whole fifth floor." "Will you have the graham crackers individually..." "or shall I crumple them in the bowl?" "Individually." "Yes, sir." "No." "Crumple them for a change." "Yes, sir." "Tell me." "How soon could you find out who these employees are?" "The troublemakers?" "Not more than two or three weeks." "Why not two or three days?" "I have to worm my way into their confidence." "Become one of them." "How do I know what they are going to do in the next two or three weeks?" "I'm not going to hang from every lamppost in the city while you worm your way into their confidence." "It's a very difficult assignemnt." "There's nothing difficult about it!" "Fire anyone that's even suspicious." "You don't have to be accurate." "Is there anyone you suspect yet?" "Well I..." "I haven't really started." "I thought I'd begin the day after tomorrow." "What's that?" "My wife's having a baby in Philadelphia." "That's where I live." "And I thought I'd go home tomorrow." "Mr Higgins, I don't think you ought to be separted from your wife while you're having a baby." "I'll get someone else for this assignment." "That's very considerate of you, Mr Merrick." "My wife..." "Nothing at all." "I'll just keep this card for the next fellow." "Good day." "I'm very grateful to you for your kindness." "Perfectly alright." "Go back to Poughkeepsi and forget about it." "Poughkeepsie?" "Yes, sir." "Good day, sir." "George!" "Yes, sir?" "Come here." "I want you to tell me the truth, George." "Yes, sir." "What would you like to see changed in the world?" "In a business way?" "Well..." "Yes?" "I have a few shares of steel stock." "I would be happy if it went up a little." "If anyone asks you George." "You're not a typical working man." "No sir." "Dr. Schindler made up your pepsin into sticks of chewing gum sir." "He thought that you would like the change." "You are to have one every hour on the hour." "You will find them in your lower left breast pocket." "Huh?" "It's time for one now." "Look at their faces." "Moron!" "Sheep." "No wonder you can convince them of anything." "How I'd like to hear one of those troublemakers talking." "I'd show him." "Mr. Merrick!" "Why not?" "I'd like to see them operate." "Your stomach." "I'll be one of them." "Mix with them." "Let them talk to me." "Why these idiots." "I'd play with them like a cat and mouse." "Oh my...." "George, my name is..." "Thomas Higgins." "Young lady, could you direct me to the section manager." "He's right over there." "See?" "Standing at the little desk?" "Thank you." "There you are, madam." "Thank you very much." "Thank you." "And what can I do for you sir?" "Oh, uh." "I'm working here." "I'm a new salesman." "You're Higgins?" "Hm-hmm." ""Yes, sir"" "Yes, sir." "Higgins..." "Harrison..." "In the intelligence test you took this morning your rating was 66." "That's one point over..." "the lowest passing grade." "66?" "There must be some mistake." "I answered all the questions." "You might have answered some of them wrong." "That's possible isn't it?" "I said that's possible, isn't it?" "Yes it is." "Sir." "We never make mistakes, Higgins." "Neeleys is always right." "This is the lowest intelligence rating in my department." "I hope you have other qualities to compensate for it." "For your own sake." "Miss jones." "Don't lean against my desk." "And remove your hat." "Please." "Miss jones, I'm assigning Higgins to slippers." "Show him your duties." "Welcome to the shoe department Mr. Higgins." "You come right along with me." "Now." "This will be your counter Mr. Higgins." "Bedrooms, Lounging, and House slippers." "You know, this is really the best job." "No bending down for try-ons, no running back-and-forth for different models." "Everything is right here." "I wish that I had this counter." "He doesn't think that I'm good enough to sell shoes, Is that it?" "Now don't be silly." "This is just the same." "It's even better." "You have to be more clever selling slippers than you do shoes." "Don't forget people can always do without slippers." "They have to be convinced." "How could he tell I'm not a good a salesman as the next one?" "It's just your vanity that's hurt." "And you can sell shoes when you relief for lunch." "Show him then what a good salesman you are." "Your lunch hour will be from 12:00 to 1:00." "That's in 30 minutes." "I'm not going to eat lunch." "You're not?" "I'm going to stay here selling slippers." "I'm going to make a good impression." "Why aren't you going to have lunch?" "I'm not hungry." "I never have lunch anyway." "You go to lunch at 12:00 sharp." "I uh..." "No arguments." "You don't mind waiting on me do you?" "What can I do for you madam?" "1." "Intelligence test out." "2." "Pay Miss Jones 50 cents." "3." "Fire Section Manager?" "Mr Higgins?" "It's time for lunch." "I'll take over the counter." "I'm really not hungry." "Why do you argue so much?" "You go to lunch!" "And hurry up about it." "I don't know where to go." "Well, you...um" "Oh Elizabeth!" "Yes." "Miss Ellis, this is Mr. Higgins." "How do you do?" "How do you do?" "Elizabeth if you're going to lunch will you show Mr. Higgins where the employees restaurant is please?" "I'd be glad too." "Did you sell anything?" "One pair of mens slippers, size 9, $1.98" "That's fine!" "Did you have any trouble selling them?" "Oh no." "No Wonderful!" "Be back in an hour now." "The restaurant's two flights up." "Aren't you coming?" "I always bring my own lunch and eat in the park." "It's pleasant in there." "I don't intend to eat at all." "Would it inconvenience you if I sat with you?" "Not at all." "I'd love to have you." "Thank you." "Kind of stuffy in here." "Yes isn't it?" "Sure you won't have something?" "No, no thank you very much." "I never eat lunch." "You men worry more about your figures than women do." "It's not my figure I worry about." "It's uh..." "I'm just not hungry." "Isn't it terrible about the store not letting people organize?" "I made these myself." "It's very rude of you not to try one." "I wonder where they are holding a meeting tonight?" "Go on, eat it." "What is it?" "Tunafish popover." "Tunafish popover?" "My own invention." "Bite it." "On no, I couldn't really, I couldn't." "Oh please." "If I asked you too?" "You haven't got a graham cracker have you?" "Oh a grown man eating graham crackers." "Why there's no nurishment in that." "You eat that popover." "It won't bite you." "Won't it though?" "Tunafish." "Like it?" "I don't know yet." "Is it good tunafish?" "Costs 12 cents a tin." "12 cents!" "It's almost as good as you can buy." "Almost!" "Go on, eat it." "Tastes good." "Thank you" "Here, have another." "No no, thank you just the same." "Oh, one isn't enough to feed an infant." "Go on, take it." "How does a man exist without a woman looking after him?" "I could tell you were a single man." "You are single aren't you?" "Yes, I am." "What did you do before this?" "What kind of work?" "Oh all kinds." "You'd be surprised." "Were you out of work long before you got this job?" "Hmm." "Yes." "How long were you employed at your last place?" "Fifteen years." "And how long before that?" "Ten years." "Isn't that awful." "Mr. Hooper's coming." "Hello, Mr. Hooper." "Good afternoon, Mr. Hooper." "How do you do Miss Ellis?" "You usually sits here for a few minutes." "Oh." "I hope that he's not angry." "Another popover!" "Fire the section manager!" "You know he ate almost all my lunch." "He was famished!" "I gave him 50 cents." "He probably needed it so badly he didn't want to spend it for lunch." "Oh dear." "Don't look up." "A shopper is coming." "What?" "A store shopper, they pretend they're customers." "But they're only testing you." "Be careful how you act." "Oh uh, may I help you madam?" "Oh that's alright, this gentleman will wait on me." "Yes, maam." "What can I do for you madam?" "Do you sell slippers here?" "Yes maam, we do." "These are slippers." "That's what we call them slippers." "They don't look very good." "Oh but they are." "I wear a pair of these myself." "Woolies." "Keep your feet nice and warm." "Real sheep wool." "Aren't they a little too warm for summer?" "We never had any complaint from the sheep." "Haha." "I'll think about it." "I hope you didn't mind my inconvenicing you without buying anything." "Of course not madam." "I'm only here to serve you." "Are you chewing gum?" "No maam." "I'm a store shopper." "Open your mouth." "Did you swallow that gum?" "No maam, I wasn't chewing any gum." "Well, see that you don't in the future." "And don't lean on the counter." "Yes, maam." "Shoppers out." "Well you didn't do so badly." "Say!" "What are you doing?" "Keeping a diary?" "It's kind of a diary." "A doomsday book." "What's a doomsday book?" "A doomsday book contains the names of a lot of people who are going to meet their doom." "I don't get it." "Employees!" "Listen employees!" "Here I am!" "Right here!" "Gather round please!" "All the employees of the Neeleys Department Store." "I have a message for you." "They have fired some of us for organizing." "But we haven't given up!" "We are still at it!" "Call the detectives!" "Call the detectives!" "Don't be afraid!" "Come to our meeting!" "If enough of us stick together they won't be able to stop it!" "Nobody listen to him!" "Everybody stop him!" "I repeat, come to our meeting!" "Get him out!" "Get him out of here." "This is one time you can't throw me out gentlemen." "And I haven't any key." "Take him away!" "Saw me out!" "It will only take about four hours." "And while you're sawing I'll give a little speech." "Don't be afraid!" "Come to our meeting!" "In union there is strength!" "We have to fight together." "We have to think..." "Hey!" "Right is on our side." "And don't be afraid." "We got the situation well in hand." "They can't stop us now!" "I tell you they can't..." "Fellow employees." "And I call you fellow employees... because that is what we all are... from the lowly stock clerk to me myself, though, I carry the title of general manager." "There was a disturbance on the 5th floor today." "A shocking unamerican invasion of private property." "Nothing more or less than trespassing." "A criminal offense." "There are still some troublemakers employed in this store we have not as yet burried it out." "But we shall." "And if employees will come cooperating with these traitors in our one big happy family" "I can tell you now they will be not only discharged." "but blackballed from working in any department store in this city." "Now, may I wish you all a very good evening." "Good night, fellow employees." "Are you doing anything tonight?" "Eh?" "No." "Not especially." "Come with me." "Good night." "Good night." "What've you got in there?" "Me, you idiot!" "Don't get excited pop, I thought it was a package." "Come on, Come on." "Good night." "Good night." "Does it hurt much?" "A little." "I can't understand how you never have eaten in an automat before." "I never thought of it." "I could sue them getting my finger caught like that." "Well, I don't know." "I've been eating there for years and I haven't heard of anybody getting his fingers caught before." "Say, tell me the truth." "Was the manager right?" "Did you try to get that blueberry pie out without putting in a nickel?" "You too?" "I tell you, I did put in a nickel." "But I went to get coffee and somebody must have sneaked the pie out." "It was their responsibility to get me another piece of pie." "And I'd have gotten it too if you hadn't interferred." "Honey!" "Joe, did they do anything to you?" "Did they hurt you?" "Never laid a hand on me." "I dared them too." "I was so afraid that they'd do something to you." "Well, uh, who's this?" "He started in the store this morning." "Oh welcome brother!" "Mr Higgins, this is Joe O'Brien." "He hung up the dummy of John P. Merrick." "Made the frontpage of the Times, that's all." "Did you see him?" "Yes, I saw it." "This is quite a pleasure." "Likewise." "Come on." "We're just about ready to start." "Come on." "I knew you'd join us." "I could tell that from the minute I saw you." "Alright everybody..." "I uh...see that some of you are here for the 1st time." "and you'd probably like to know more about us." "We are not professional agitators." "I myself started six years ago at the Neely store as a packing boy and worked up to assistant section manager." "Now, our quarrel is simple." "We're given a small raise every year." "Thanks." "At the end of 10 or 15 years when our salary is higher than a new employs we're let out" "Now this is a regular practice at the store mind you." "Probably good bookkeeping..." "But, I think that it's pretty unfair." "We're entitled to some security in exchange for a quarter of a lifetime of loyalty to one employer." "Um, may I interrupt please?" "I've attended many of these meetings but I've never spoken before." "I'd like to show you a practical case of what we're fighting for if I may." "Certainly, Mary." "Step up here." "This is Miss Jones of childrens shoes." "(Applause) Mr Higgins, would you step up here please?" "Mr. Higgins!" "Mr. Higgins!" "Step up here, will you please?" "This is Thomas Higgins." "How old are you Mr. Higgins." "Fifty five." "Now don't be nervious, Tom." "He's 55." "Now that's not so very old." "Look at him, he's bright, alert, has all his faculties Can you honestly expect to be in better condition at his age?" "I hardly think so." "This then is the picture of you...and me... at 55 years of age." "Now I'm going to tell you the rest of that picture." "He came to work this morning in childrens shoes... without the few cents in his pocket he needed to buy lunch." "And that isn't all." "I gave him 50 cents." "Do you know what he did with it?" "He kept it because he needed even that 50 cents more than he needed food." "Maybe for medicine." "Maybe for a place to sleep tonight, I don't know." "I didn't ask him" "I felt too ashamed for him." "Do you want to know how he got his lunch?" "From another employee." "Sharing the few crusts she brought which were hardly enough for herself." "Fifty five years old and nothing to eat." "By what kind fate did he get a job today I'll never know." "And how long will the store keep him?" "And what will become of him when they let him out?" "And he will be let out, he has been before." "He worked 15 years. 15 long loyal years and they let him go." "Before that, he had a job for 10 years." "Twenty five years for only two employers." "Surely this man must have been capable of holding a job." "And yet, now." "White haired..." "Friendless..." "He faces another employer." "Who will use him." "and when he's through with him, he'll throw him aside for a younger man." "Leaving him insecure, friendless, homeless... with noone to turn to except charity and the poorhouse." "Please, take your seat." "You were wonderful." "I didn't do anything." "Alright everybody." "If you don't think that we're right now nothing will ever convince you." "Are you with us or aren't you?" "We sure are Joe." "We're with you Joe." "What do you think their complaint is?" "They are getting too much money." "That's what it is actually." "I knew they were crackpots." "Why don't they make themselves so indispensible the store can't fire them?" "Oh no." "That's too hard." "Heh" "I'm glad I saw this." "I found out who some of them are." "The first day too." "Not all of them, just give me another couple of days." "Heh." "The idiots." "Making me one of them." "I'll show them who hangs who." "Shall I crumple them, sir?" "Graham crackers, take it away." "And let me tell you another thing..." "If I'm not sick by tonight or tomorrow at the latest my fancy Doctor Schindler from Vienna, will wish he was back in Vienna." "Yes, sir." "And I want a lunch prepared for me tomorrow to take along." "In a shoe box." "Yes, sir." "I want tunafish popovers." "Tunafish popovers?" "!" "Tunafish popovers?" "You heard me." "I wonder, I wonder if the chef can make tunafish popovers?" "Then get one who does." "If certain people can make them on a little gas stove... then that idiot downstairs ought to be able to make them in that whole restaurant." "Yes, sir." "I didn't do so well selling things today." "It's just a matter of luck." "Yes sir." "What I want you to do... is to get a little girl and bring her to the shoe department tomorrow at exactly ten after twelve." "Is there anything I can do for you sir?" "I thought, I thought I would buy some shoes for my little girl." "Shoes for the little girl, yes sir." "Certainly sir." "Won't you be seated." "Yes sir." "I mean certainly." "He'll bungle it." "No, he's pretty good Mr. Hooper." "I've been watching him. (Snort)" "I want you to buy a dozen pair of shoes." "Eleven?" "I think that's too many." "They'll get suspicious." "You think so?" "Yes, sir." "Alright, then a half dozen." "No less." "No, sir, half-a-dozen." "One and a half." "Thank you." "This is your chance." "Now don't be nervious." "I'm not nervious." "Stop talking about it." "What size do you want?" "One and a half." "Here." "Now don't be nervious." "For heavens sake." "Is this the hardest shoe to sell?" "What's the hardest shoe to get rid of in the whole stock?" "The hardest?" "Yes." "Well, we have some hightops that haven't moved for years." "25 cent bonus for each pair you sell." "Fine." "These are the ones I want." "Don't you think that you'd better start on these?" "How many of those do you got in stock?" "Five." "That's too bad." "I could sell six." "I wish that you'd try to sell the ordinary shoes, you're making trouble for yourself." "Now." "Here we are." "Just slip your foot in." "I don't like that." "Come come now." "Put your foot in the shoe Sally." "I don't want to, I don't like it." "Put your foot in." "I don't like it!" "Where'd you get this brat?" "She belongs to the upstairs maid." "If she doesn't stop squirming there's going to be another upstairs maid." "Stop squirming dear." "I don't like it!" "I don't like it!" "No!" "No!" "No!" "I knew he didn't have the personality for shoes." "Stop squirming dear." "I don't like it!" "I don't like it!" "No, no, no..." "I don't like it!" "Grab hold of her, grab hold of her." "Well, well, well." "How are we coming along?" "Fine!" "Mr. Higgins." "We're not shoeing a horse you know?" "Look." "Look what I've got for the little lady." "You're quite sure that you want this type of shoe?" "Yes, sir." "This is the type that I want." "Hmm." "All five pairs." "I've been looking for this model." "They are very hard to find." "(Nudges Higgins) There's someone at your slipper counter." "I'll take care of this customer." "I've got these shoes sold." "There's someone at your slipper counter." "He's not a regular shoe salesman." "I'm the section manager but I'm going to wait on you myself." "Thank you." "There's someone at your slipper counter." "Will you take them with you sir or shall I send them?" "Are you taking these shoes sir?" "Yes, sir." "Wrap them up please." "(Higgins waves)" "(Higgins falls)" "Now young lady, your own shoe." "Fire Section Manager!" "Don't you feel badly" "He'll get his just desserts one of these days." "I'd like to be as certain of the hereafter Miss Jones." "And don't lose confidence in yourself." "You could've sold them just as well." "He only brought it in cause he wanted to get the bonus." "I don't remember when I've ever disliked anyone as hardily as I do him." "And I've disliked quite a few people in my time to their misfortune." "You just forget all about it." "I'm an elephant, Miss Jones." "A veritable elephant." "I never forget a good deed done to me or an ill one." "I consider myself sort of a divine justice." "Other people in this world have to forget things." "I do not." "Now don't talk like you're out of your mind." "And don't be blasfemous about divine justice." "I don't like that." "I came over here to ask you something very important." "What is it?" "Well, Elizabeth asked me to ask you... if you'd like to take her to Coney Island tomorrow with Joe and me." "Oh, it's Dutch treat." "And you have to let her know right away because well Mr. Hopper's asked her out." "Has he ever taken her out before?" "Oh." "Lots of times." "Does she like him?" "Well uh...." "You know how it is, a girl has to go out with someone." "He keeps asking her and asking her." "Oh, I'd like to go, certainly." "I'll tell her." "Um, there's something else." "Now I don't want you to say anything to Mr. Hopper about the sale he took away from you." "There's no use antagonizing him, cause, afterall he can let you out." "He can, eh?" "Now promise me that you won't say anything." "Promise me." "Oh, alright." "I won't say anything." "Do you know what would be very clever?" "If you go over and thank him for helping you out." "Thank him?" "You want to keep this job don't you?" "You're in no position to be indepedent." "Go on over." "Go on." "Go on." "Mr. Hopper." "Mr. Hopper." "Yes?" "Well, uh." "I wanted to say about that sale." "You've got quite a way with children." "They certainly take to you, like a duck to water." "Hot water." "Well I probably couldn't have handled it as well as you..." "As well as me?" "You couldn't handle it at all." "I made that sale." "Oh, I don't know." "I have a hunch those shoes are coming back." "My sales never come back." "Want to bet?" "Certainly." "How much?" "Make it easy on yourself." "How much can you afford?" "Oh." "I can manage to scrap something together." "Would ten dollars be too much?" "Make it twenty?" "I'd be lucky if I get the ten." "I'll say so." "If you want to bet anymore..." "I'll give you odds." "Ten dollars." "Just get back to your slipper counter." "What do you think I was wig-wagging at you for?" "Playing Boy Scout?" "I didn't understand, sir." "I keep indicating for you not to buy anything.." "That was simple enough." "But you had given me such definite instructions to buy the shoes sir." "I..." "Kind of a picnic tomorrow." "Everybodys bringing something." "I said I'd bring a bottle of wine." "They don't think I will because I haven't the money." "Haha" "Well, to the wine cellar." "Yes, sir." "I haven't been down here in 15 years." "No sir, you bought most of these before prohibition." "What's the best bottle of wine in the whole place." "Best?" "I would say this is, sir." "Romanée-Conti 1903." "It's good, eh?" "There were only 24 bottles in the world orginally." "You bought 12 and the royal family have the other 12." "Take the label off the bottle." "I don't want them to be suspicious." "Label off the bottle?" "Yes." "Yes, sir." "Very interesting George, my little experiment." "I'm glad that you are enjoying yourself, sir." "I watch the little ants scurry around and I know each and every one is going to get his just desserts." "I am sure they are." "That Joe, Mary's fellow..." "Bad." "An evil influence on the girl." "Kind of Svengali corrupting her whole viewpoint." "Yes, sir." "I'm going to break that up tomorrow." "I'll talk her out of that." "And then there's Hopper." "A petty tyrant." "Well, he's going to get his reward." "Then there's Elizabeth..." "Well, come on, up with you." "Yes, sir." "Oh dear, I knew that I forgot something, the pickles." "Hey!" "You little guttersnipe!" "Why don't you look where you're going." "Do you understand Italian?" "I understand that." "Hehe." "Say, would it be too much to ask you two millionaires to lend a hand here?" "Women's place in the world is to tend the male." "Not this woman and not this male." "Here, open it." "Why don't we try my wine?" "Well, I've never been interested in domestic wine." "This isn't exactly domestic." "Oh Tom, you shouldn't have spent your money for this." "Oh well." "You only live once." "Skol!" "But I don't know what it means." "Hehe." "Well?" "You like it don't you?" "Yeah, well I tell you Tom, it's not really bad it's..." "Tom, did you spend more than 50 cents for this?" "50 cents for..." "Oh Tom, they saw you coming." "Who saw you coming?" "You mean that you don't like this wine?" "Say, I have a good mind to return it and make them give you your money back." "Yeah." "Oh the nerve of some people." "Gee wiz." "Now wait a minute." "You're not giving this wine a fair chance." "Hey, I got an idea." "Just a second." "Here..." "We'll open this and put some of this in it." "See?" "Put some of this in." "No, come on, it'll help kill the taste." "Well, skol again." "No." "It's no use." "No." "I guess that you can't save it." "It's a shame really." "Too bad we had to ruin a bottle of pop." "Isn't it?" "Pour it out, Tom." "It might make you sick." "I am sick." "Wine experts!" "Now here's a bottle of wine, that's really a bottle of wine." "This was made by our iceman's grandfather." "Same as he used to do in the old country." "He puts the grapes in the bathtub and he jumps on them." "Haha" "I saw him do it." "Ah!" "Real jumped on grapes, huh?" "Why didn't he take his socks off?" "I knew you'd like it." "Well, I'm going for a swim." "See you all in a minute." "Haha!" "Ah!" "Now don't show off and swim way out!" "We'll be watching you." "Say, maybe the pragperry man will have some extra pickles he'll sell." "I'll be back in a minute." "Don't worry." "Nothing will happen to him." "Ah." "He's a pretty good swimmer." "He's pretty good at everything." "You wouldn't be prejudice." "Maybe." "Is it possible that you're reading virtues into him that don't exist?" "Don't you like him?" "What makes you say that?" "Well, I was watching you on the subway and thought that you were making faces at him." "My feet were hurting me." "But you're not really crazy about him." "Well..." "That depends upon how much you're in love with thim." "And I don't think that you're any judge." "Who's a better one?" "Any outsider." "Me, for instance." "Now look around us." "There's a couple over there." "They think that they were made for each other." "He's bitting her ear." "Now, she's bitting his ear." "Very touching." "I think so." "They've found each other, haven't they?" "Out of this whole wide world, these two were lucky enough to come together." "But, don't you think." "If she hadn't meet him there'd be someone else bitting her ear right now?" "And don't you think he'd be at some other girl's ear?" "Probably ten feet away?" "Maybe." "But that doesn't prove anything." "Scientists can write all the books they like love being a trap of nature." "I remember reading that." "That it's biology and chemistry inside a woman that fools her." "But all the scientists are going to convince are other scientists, not women in love." "I don't say Joe is the greatest thing that ever lived." "I probably wouldn't love him if he was I'd just want to look at him." "But you she I'm not the greatest girl in the world either." "Two people look at each other and they see something way deep inside." "That nobody else can." "And that's it." "I wouldn't be surprised if the greatest love affair in the world was between a chinamen wearing a pigtail and a girl who's missing two front teeth" "If you could measure it." "If they feel it, they feel it." "Do you?" "Not the way you see in the movies." "Or hear in those songs, you know about the touch of your hand you set me on fire." "I guess that I'm not the combustible type." "But, when I'm with him..." "I don't know if it's the advertised 7th heaven." "We get along just average I guess." "Little arguing Even maybe being a little bored if we admit it." "But, yet if I knew that I'd never see him again..." "Yes?" "I've never even thought of what it would be like not to see him anymore." "I guess that's the test of it." "If I thought that I'd never see him again I don't think I'd care if I lived or died." "Look!" "I found some pretzels." "They're homemade." "The pragperryman's wife makes them." "From her own recipe." "Don't they look delicious?" "Gangway!" "Oh boy!" "Pretzels!" "Oh, Joe!" "No!" "Don't you dare!" "You'll spoil your lunch!" "Joe!" "No!" "Joe!" "Spit it out!" "Spit it out, Joe!" "I beg your pardon." "I was wondering if I could find out whether my clothes are in this bathhouse?" "Did you take them off in here?" "Well, I don't exactly remember." "Where's your locker key?" "That's got our name on it." "I shared the locker with a young friend of mine, he has the key." "But unfortunately I can't find him or any of the people that I came with." "I've been walking about for hours." "Does this look like the place?" "I rented this suit." "Can you tell me if it's yours?" "Not ours." "That's a pretty cheap suit." "Not yours." "Thank you." "Ain't ours." "Thanks." "It don't belong to us." "How many bathhouses are there around here?" "A couple of hundred." "A couple of hundred..." "Thanks." "Young man." "Yes, sir?" "I've got a big bargain for you." "How would you like to give me a dollar or two for this gold watch?" "You mean, uh, you want to leave it for security?" "No, I don't think that I'll be down here again." "I'll let you have it for a dollar." "A dollar?" "That's all." "It's a very fine watch." "Solid gold." "Here take a look at it." "Yes..." "Hmm...hmm" "Uh, would you mind if I showed this to the boss?" "I'll only be a second." "I only want a dollar for it." "This is a pretty good watch for a dollar, Pop." "You got anymore?" "For heaven sake!" "No need to get excited." "There's been a lot of stuff stolen from lockers around here." "and we're just checking up." "Well I assure you that watch is not stolen." "It's an awful good watch to go for a buck." "Officer, I've lost the friends I came with I can't find my bathhouse and I've been walking around for hours trying to trace this rented suit." "I want to sell the watch so I can telephone my home and have my car and chauffeur come for me." "Oh you have a car and chauffeur?" "Yes, I have." "And you rent a bathing suit." "Where did you get this watch?" "Well if you want to know, the governor gave it to me on my birthday." "The Governor?" "My boss works for him." "Now what do you say we go down and pay him a visit." "You know kind of friendly-like." "You let go my arm!" "Now be a good boy, pop." "Come on." "Come on." "Take your hand off of me." "...Pretty monotonous." "Listen." "I'm getting good and sick of seeing your ugly little face." "You're not even a good pickpocket." "When are you going to get sense enough to quit?" "Take him away." "Marv." "Yes, sir." "Come on." "He was trying to sell this watch to a clerk in a drugstore for a dollar." "When I questioned him about it, he said he wanted the money to call his chauffeur." "And beside that he told me that he got the watch from the governor." "I thought that sounded suspicious." "Suspicious enough for me..." "I would advise you two simple guardians of law and order for the sake of your own future security to be very careful of any decision you make concerning me." "How was that again?" "Tom!" "Tom, we've been looking everywhere for you!" "Joe's running up and down the boardwalk and Elizabeth's gone to the hospital." "What happened to you?" "I got lost." "My!" "Well thank heaven you're all in one piece." "Thanks for finding him officer." "That's alright miss." "You can call your chauffeur from here." "Here." "What chauffeur?" "What chauffeur?" "The chauffeur that you were going to call." "Me?" "Certainly you." "I haven't got any chauffeur." "Wasn't he trying to get money to call his chauffeur?" "That's what he told me." "Say!" "What's going on here?" "I don't know what he's talking about." "Oh you must be mistaking him for somebody else." "Say, what do you two do for a living?" "We work, of course." "Where?" "Don't list the store." "We'll get fired." "Hey, stop that!" "Where do you work?" "At the automat." "What do you do?" "I have charge of blueberry pies." "I put them in those little boxes." "And what do you do?" "I uh..." "I help him." "I snap the boxes shut." "There's something fishy going on here." "My feet hurt." "Can't we continue this while we're seated?" "You know, you ought to be ashamed of yourself." "Supposing someone treated your father like this?" "Is he your father?" "Yes." "Girlie, I catch you in more lies than you can shake a stick at." "If he's your father, why did you call him Tom when you came in here?" "I always call Tom." "My goodness." "Is there a law against calling your own father by his first name?" "Come with me miss." "Where were you born?" "In New York." "Shhh, keep your voice down." "What street?" "Uh, 121st street." "What street was she born on?" "Look at me!" "72nd street?" "They're the ones that have been selling this hot stuff alright." "I'll bet on it." "How much do you want to bet?" "Mary!" "Where did you disappear to..." "I got lost, and I couldn't find..." "Quiet, everybody, quiet." "I'm telling you two that anything you say may be used against you." "So, uh, use your own judgement." "What happened?" "Joe, you better go home." "We'll met you later." "Quiet you!" "How well do you know these two?" "Well, I know them well enough to know that they haven't done anything." "Where do they work?" "Uh..." "Mary stop that!" "Come on!" "Neeley Department Store." "Ah-haa!" "Ah-haa!" "Some detective!" "Are they, uh, father and daughter?" "Uh...yes...no!" "What are you..." "Joe, please don't say anything more." "I don't want to tell you to keep quiet again, girlie." "How about using a more civil tone officer?" "Who, me?" "Yes, you." "Have they charged you with anything?" "No." "Then you don't have to stay here." "Come on out." "Hey, stay right here!" "Look you can't hold people here unless you've got a charge preferred against them!" "I can fix that." "Was he dressed like that in the drugstore?" "Yes, sir." "Violating a city ordinance, wearing a bathing suit on the boardwalk." "How do you like that for a charge." "There were many other people wearing bathing suits." "Well, are you satisfied, or would you like to see another charge?" "You just try it." "Really?" "Say..." "Did he come along peaceful or did he pull on your arm?" "He made quite a protest." "He did, eh?" "Resisting an officer." "Would you like to see another charge?" "I'd like it fine!" "Say!" "Trespassing." "Suits me." "Soliciting funds." "Keep on." "Peddling without a license." "Haha, you're not frightening me." "Stop!" "He's frightening me." "And we'll throw in a little case of vagrancy How does that suit you?" "That's just dandy." "A vagrant." "Me?" "We haven't even started on you, yet." "Young man, what do you think that you're accomplishing?" "Tom, I'm giving him enough rope to hang himself." "You're giving me enough rope." "I've got a little surprise for you." "I'm charging you with obstructing justice." "Fine." "And contempt of police authority." "Fine." "And suspicion to start a group to riot." "Fine!" "What's the matter?" "Your imagination running out of charges?" "Are you an idiot?" "Who do you think this man is?" "This man is a servant of the people that's all." "And a darn poor one at that." "I don't work for him, he works for me." "How do you like that?" "Let him put me in jail." "I'll holler my head off." "This is a free country." "You let a guy say you were spitting on the sidewalk when you weren't and the next thing he'll do is tear up the Constitution" "Say are you crazy?" "Yes, I'm a little crazy." "But that happens to me my particular kind of patriotism" "I don't care how small the right is you're trying to take away from me I'll fight for it." "The Boston Tea Party was started over one penny." "This is big enough for me." "Well?" "Put me in jail." "Don't tell me what to do." "I'm running this place." "Go on!" "Lock me up!" "You've got enough charges." "I'll lock you up when I'm good and ready." "Ok, take your time." "We, the People of the United States, In order to form a more perfect union, establish justice, ensure domestic tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote..." "Don't look so startled sargeant, in case you didn't recognize it that's the beginning of our Constitution." "I'll recite it for you." "Where was I?" "Oh, yes..." "Provide for the common defense..." "There he is." "If he thinks he's right he won't give into anybody." "Isn't it wonderful?" "Not very pratical." "No, he isn't." "But he's wonderful!" "I also know some of the Declaration of Independence." "I might get a couple of the words wrong, but you'll get the general idea." "When, in the course of human events, it becomes necessary to..." "I don't like this." "Neither do I." "When they start reciting the Constitution." "Look out." "We had a nut like this downtown once." "Twas was awful." "What can one fellow like him do?" "It's not him, but it gets in the papers." "That somebody sends down a big lawyer, then you ought to see what happens in court." "You'd be thinking it was a big murder trial What?" "For a little thing like this?" "The way they mix it up?" "Turns out that Abraham Lincoln's on trial." "Lincoln?" "Trial downtown took over two weeks." "Two weeks?" "My vacation starts Wednesday." "Oh, but you'll spend it listening to Abraham Lincoln." "In a nice hot courtroom." "My wife would skin me alive." "One of those reporters will be here any minute now." "You know what'll happen then." "Yeah..." "Quiet!" "A lucky thing for you that I feel charitable today." "We're going to suspend charges on both of you." "You can go on." "Oh no you don't...wait a minute!" "You're not going to get off that easy!" "I'm not going to get off?" "We don't want any suspended charges hanging over our heads." "What do you want?" "Maybe you'd like an apology?" "Well what's wrong with that?" "You've humiliated this man." "You dragged him in barefooted, questioned him like a criminal" "And you think that an apology's too much?" "Boys!" "Throw him out!" "I'm not going to move one step until those charges are not suspended, but dropped." "Alright, they're dropped." "And I apologize." "Now get out of here!" "I didn't that you'd have the grace to apologize." "Even in that tone it's appreciated." "And stay out of this precint or I'll have you arrested." "Gone on about your business." "Next time you bring a thing like that in here I'll throw you right into the ocean." "Yes, sir." "I mean no sir." "Lincoln!" "Say, we'd better get you dressed." "You two try to cool off on the sand." "Joe!" "What's that for?" "Because you're wonderful." "Some wonderful." "Come on." "It's getting pretty late." "Better wake him up and go home." "Oh, let's let them sleep a while longer." "They must be awfully tired." "You know, he didn't like you very much?" "But I think that he changed his opinion in the police station." "I was watching him." "Whether that old goat likes me or not it certainly doesn't change my life." "Did you watch what he's been eating?" "He acts like a guy that just discovered his stomach." "I don't think a goat could put that stuff away." "You know, you're making him a responsibility." "I want him to marry Elizabeth." "Oh..." "Why shouldn't they get married?" "Well, why should they?" "Because she loves him." "How do you know?" "I can tell." "It'd be wonderful for him." "And he must be very lonely." "You know it doesn't make any difference how many people you talk to during the day" "If you haven't got someone that really cares for you you're all alone." "You're one person against the world unless you have someone." "Then it's only half as hard." "At least you're two against the world." "So you both starve, instead of starving alone." "Joe, don't let yourself get depressed." "It's all over, Mary." "We've lost." "What do you mean, we've lost?" "400 employees out of a possible 2500." "How can you blame them?" "Black list, store detectives." "I don't see how we got the 400." "Maybe if you gave it more time Joe." "Time?" "We had a year already." "So we have a 100 more, they'd walk out like sheep to the slaughter.." "People like this, who starve quietly wishing that they hadn't joined." "Oh it's doomed Mary, I know it." "I got the poor suckers into working at least keep their jobs" "Joe, if only you could reach all of them." "Yeah, if, if, sure." "If the store would only ask them to go out to Bryant Park for me to speak to them." "Mary, I want to talk to you." "I meant to do it when I brought you home, but, now's as good a time as any." "I can't get a job in New York." "Mary, I..." "I can't see you anymore." "For awhile." "What do you mean?" "Well, I..." "I can't." "I can't take up your time." "Is that what you call our relationship?" "Taking up my time?" "I haven't got the right to take up your time, that's what I'm trying to tell you." "Well, I think that you ought to ask my opinion about that." "What are your plans Joe?" "What do you want to do?" "Go out of town?" "I'll go with you, that's not such a terrible thing to ask." "Oh, Mary you'd..." "Oh, I'd love to if you want me." "I wish that you'd marry me, just like it is." "I'm not afraid." "Marriage?" "You're not afraid." "Women are never afraid." "How do you think that you'd be in love with me living off your salary?" "That's nothing to be ashamed of, if you can't help it." "Not to you, but it is to me." "I bought me a $5 walet for my birthday and left the sales slip in so I could trade it in for the money." "Oh, who are we fooling?" "The next guy won't be giving me the money." "Quarter at a time, no lodge for carfare, for cigarettes I can't be in love under those conditions." "I don't want to marry you." "Honey, I..." "I shouldn't have done that." "I didn't have any right to ask you to marry me." "I don't own you, you know, even though I act like it." "We've got to look at it sensibly." "Maybe, it'll still turn out alright, in someway." "But, I couldn't go away obligating you to wait for me." "That's very considerate of you, at least." "Maybe, I hope that you'll wait for me." "But, you're young and attractive, you got a whole life ahead of you." "Go out and meet people, have a good time." "It's certainly coming to you." "Who knows?" "You might get interested in somebody wonderful." "Yeah." "That's what somebody was telling me reciently." "That's what nature does, is let you get interested in other people." "It's uh..." "A kind of protection." "Well..." "Then I don't promise to wait for you, if that'll make you happy." "What do you intend to do, Joe?" "Uh, why the government's taking young fellow for construction work." "Down in Panama." "I'd have a trade by the time I got back." "You'd only have to stay a little while." "Two or three years I think." "Two or three years?" "Why, I..." "I thought you meant you'd only be gone a few months." "Why, you're nothing but a coward." "That's what you are." "For all your bravery in police stations you can't even face life." "Half the world's starving to death, and you're afraid to get married because you might not be able to get a job." "It's not me I'm worrying about." "I'm not going to get locked up in a home bedroom watching you iron my shirts and nobodys going to make me." "Nobody's going to make you do anything." "Go on to Panama, go to any place you like..." "Oh Mary now..." "Right now you can go on home." "Go on, unless you're afraid of the dark." "Better keep it." "It's going to turn out alright." "I've got a seventh sense." "You mean a sixth sense." "I mean a seventh sense." "I've got a sixth sense and a seventh sense." "It's going to turn out alright." "You really shouldn't drink." "It isn't good for you." "Three glasses of beer." "You can't get drunk on that." "You are." "Oh..." "Elizabeth, Yes, Tom?" "I want you to tell me something." "What is it?" "Didn't Hooper ask you out today?" "Yes, he did." "Well, tell me, why did you go with me instead?" "You really want to know?" "Certainly." "You won't laugh at me?" "Of course not." "Well, Mr. Hooper is the..." "Well, he's the executive type and you're sort of helpless and someone to look after you." "He's the executive and I'm..." "Now, don't be offended." "People can't tell on themselves." "That's the type you are." "Oh for heaven sake!" "I don't like the executive type." "What you can see in him is beyond me." "Well, he asked me to marry him during the clearance sale." "Did you even consider it?" "To be honest, I did." "Well, why didn't you?" "I didn't know whether I loved him." "Maybe I'd be marrying him for his money." "Has he got money?" "Oh, he makes $55 dollars a week." "Fifty five dollars." "I don't see how a woman can marry a man with money." "She'd always feel that maybe..." "Maybe she'd married him not for what he was but, for what he has." "There'd always be that doubt between them." "Oh my..." "Don't you feel weel?" "Elizabeth..." "I wonder if you'd care for the real me." "I think I know the real you." "I may not be exactly as I appear on the surface." "Well, noones really perfect." "I'm not." "What do you mean, on the surface?" "Are you married or something?" "No, no, no..." "Then what is it?" "Well, I uh..." "I've got a very weak stomach." "You put your stomach in my hands." "Oh, our station!" "Good night, Mary." "It was lovely." "To Whom It May Concern:" "Thomas Higgins is employed in a confidential capacity..." "See you tomorrow, Mary." "Good night." "Hello..." "Hello!" "Dorothy, I'm sorry to get you out of bed so late but this is very this is very important." "Do you still go with that fellow that works in the personnel department?" "Yes." "I do." "Well, give me his telephone number." "I have to speak to him tonight." "It's for you, Sam." "Yeah?" "Uh, Sam, Sam, listen..." "We're in terrible trouble." "Meet me at the employees entrance right now?" "Now?" "You mean this late?" "Yes, now!" "Thomas Higgins:" "Private Detective." "Salary billed to Philadelphia office, Merrick Enterprises." "So long as there's a chance we can win I'm going to stick." "Yes, dear." "They locked me out of my room." "Can I sleep on your roof?" "Yes, dear." "What's a matter with you, honey?" "Mary!" "Mary, I'm back." "Don't take it so hard." "I'm going to stay here." "Yes, dear." "Good night, Joe." "Good night, honey." "I won't see you for breakfast." "I'm starting out real early." "Well, you can have breakfast." "Hm-hmm." "Good night." "Remember the list with the 400 names?" "Hm-hmm." "Where do you think that it is?" "Down on the sand at Coney." "It's in Higgins' pocket." "And he's a spy for the store." "What?" "Who?" "Who?" "Higgins?" "And there's no mistake." "And he's got all those names?" "All those poor people." "And it's my fault." "Where does he live?" "I'll get that list back tonight." "I don't know." "Tomorrow." "You get him in the stock room." "I'll get that list." "How are you going to get in the store?" "Don't worry how I get in the store." "You get him in the stockroom, see?" "And I'll join you." "And I'll get that list if I have to hit over the head." "Will you please sign, Mr. Hooper?" "Our friend Higgins, seems to be a little late this morning." "Probably drinking last night." "Oh, he only had three beers." "You were with him yesterday?" "I...we Mary and Tom No, just Tom and I." "Mr Higgins and I went to the beach." "He asked me before you did, really." "That's perfectly alright." "Ah, who have we here?" "Good morning, Elizabeth." "Good morning, Mr. Higgins." "Tom." "We're a little late this morning aren't we?" "Oh, did you come late too?" "You are a little late this morning." "Yes, I am." "And why may I ask?" "Because I overslept." "I was tired." "Well that's a novel excuse." "Well, it's true." "I don't like your tone of voice." "I don't like yours either." "Who do you think you're talking too?" "Just another employee in the store." "That's all." "And a darn poor one at that." "Do you know what's going to happen to you?" "You're going to be fired." "I'm going to be fired?" "Yes." "Let me tell you something!" "You're going to be fired." "How do you like that?" "Five pair of these hightops come back on the exchange." "Ha." "Give me my 10 dollars." "Bring them in here." "Hey, where's my money?" "You shouldn't have done that, Tom." "Why not?" "I'm entitled to common courtesy." "It doesn't work that way." "The trouble with you people is you have no faith in employers." "Well, where's my sale book?" "I'm worried about him." "Elizabeth, you know, you've, you've lead a very sheltered life." "Now, men aren't exactly what they seem to be." "Some men are wonderful." "Other men are beasts, like..." "Well, like other men." "Oh, honey." "Joe will come back." "It isn't Joe." "I'm talking about a particular party." "Who thinks nothing of toying with the heart of good woman." "How'd you like what I said to Hooper?" "You were very brave, but foolhardy." "Mr. Higgins, would you be kind enough to assist me in the stockroom?" "Is it necessary?" "Most necessary." "Well, what happens?" "Uh...there's been a lot of trouble in here." "Uh...there should be a right shoe and a left shoe in everyone of these boxes and lately there's been a right shoe with a right shoe there ought to be a right shoe with a left shoe." "What's that again?" "Uh, look, you just open every box and see that there's a right shoe and left shoe in it." "I'll be right back." "Mr. Higgins!" "Mr. Higgins." "Tom!" "Tom!" "Tom!" "Tom, say something." "Say something." "Oh dear." "Is this Higgins?" "Yes." "Are you Jones?" "Yes." "He's drunk." "He is not!" "Come on you two." "The general manager wants to see you." "Up." "Where am I?" "Where are you taking me?" "To the general manger's office." "Is that how he makes people go to his office?" "Oh!" "You must feel pretty good, Mr Higgins." "You'll probably get a raise after they fire all of these poor people." "You Benedict Arnold in sheep's clothing." "I'll show you who's a Benedict Arnold in sheep's clothing!" "You watch!" "Is this the way you discharge your responsibilty?" "Can't you understand that dealing with people the way you do is the reason for this civil war around here?" "I've worked with these people." "They have rights." "What do you suggest?" "I suggest that you get a different job if you can't get the confidence of your employees." "You bumble-witted idiot!" "Tom..." "Tom, this is wonderful what you're doing." "And you'll never regret it." "Let them fire you." "As long as there's a breath in my body you'll never go hungry." "Calling me names isn't the solution." "I'd like nothing better than to get the confidence of my employees." "But, who can I talk to?" "Who represents enough of these people?" "Would you consider 400 enough?" "Yes, I would." "There's our representative." "Where are your 400 names?" "There's the catch." "He wants the names." "See?" "My hands are tied." "This isn't a trick is it?" "Do I look like I'm lying to you?" "No." "You don't." "Mary, you can't." "If there's a right way, this is it." "We're not being fair to him." "If we want him to trust us we have to trust him." "Well, I'm against it." "I'm taking a big chance too, Joe." "I..." "If this doesn't go I loose you." "Alright, honey." "Well, Tom, have you got the list you picked up on the beach last night?" "Yes, I have." "Give it to Mr. Allision, please." "It's going to be terrible if you fool these two young people." "You old fool." "How dare you come into my office and talk to me like you did." "I can outwit morons like you everyday of the week and twice on Sundays." "Which is why I sit behind this desk, while you stand in front of it." "Why, you!" "Hooper, get that paper!" "Keep your hands off of her!" "Harley, McGinnis, come in!" "Ahh!" "You idiots Both of you, I discharge you!" "Eat it!" "Eat it!" "Give me that paper!" "Give me that!" "Stop it!" "Stop it I say you idiots!" "Stop it!" "Oh!" "Stop it!" "Stop it I say!" "Why!" "You mashing brute!" "Give me that paper!" "Stop it I say!" "How dare you!" "I'll have you discharged!" "Every one of you!" "Now, you simpleton!" "I'll show you who can outwit who." "Who're you going to fire now?" "You give me the name of everyone on that list or I'll fire the entire 5th floor for starter." "That's not fair." "Many people on the 5th floor know nothing about this." "Every name or else they all go." "Every one of them." "Get out of my way!" "Discharge slips." "For everyone on the 5th floor." "Yes, sir..." "How dare you!" "What do you mean?" "!" "Hold that door!" "Get it open!" "Help me Tom!" "Stop that!" "Take it out!" "Employees!" "Listen to me everybody!" "Come out to Bryant Park!" "Don't be afraid!" "Everybody together!" "If we all walk out now we got them licked!" "Come out to Bryant Park." "Drop what you're doing and come out to Bryant Park." "Ouch!" "If we all get together now they can't stop us!" "Here we go!" "Everybody out!" "Leave what you're doing." "Don't just stand there." "Move!" "Go on, walk!" "Everybody Together!" "Come out to Bryant Park, don't be afraid!" "If we all walk out at once we got them licked!" "Come out to Bryant Park!" "Shhh!" "Picket..." "Picketing your house." "George." "I'm worried." "Elizabeth won't marry me." "A man with money." "Maybe, in your case, she'll make an exception." "Do you think so?" "Maybe." "No." "No." "No, it's against her principles." "She'll have to know sometime." "Right now!" "Don't get excited, J.P. We'll call the police." "Nobody's going to call anybody." "I'm going to send for the ringleaders and have it out right now." "You wait in there." "Excellent idea." "We'll handle them." "How do I get out the back way?" "This way, sir." "Get my hat." "Tommy, you son-of-a-gun!" "There he is!" "Tom, where have you been?" "Mary!" "Here he is!" "We got a surprise for you." "You've got a surprise for me?" "Yup, look." "We decided that nobody was to have the honor of carrying this but you." "Come on, folks, we have to keep moving." "Wait!" "They're waiting inside there to meet with us." "What?" "!" "Tom, how did you arrange it?" "It wasn't hard." "Oh Tom, that's wonderful!" "Come on, in we go." "This is it folks." "Get rid of that old fool." "Elizabeth!" "You do like me, don't you?" "Of course I do, Tom." "Just the way you are." "Oh my!" "You sit here." "Well, let's begin." "That's right, let's begin." "Suits me." "We're ready." "You know you're not in a very good bargaining position." "Maybe not, but the store's closed." "We can open it again!" "And very easily!" "Let's not raise our voices." "Yes, that's right." "Let's not raise our voices." "Uh, I don't know very much about business, but, from a woman's viewpoint, there are moral issues involved here." "Miss, we are not concerned with moral issues." "Why aren't we?" "Because we aren't!" "Moral issues are pretty important." "Oh." "Uh..." "I see your point of view." "Uh, could I have a word?" "This may sound foolish but in my opinion of the things that ought to be corrected in this store is..." "Go on!" "Well, there ought to be somebody in the store's pet shop on Sunday." "All those canaries without water the whole day." "Canaries?" "That's the most idiotic thing I've ever heard!" "Talking about canaries at a time like this!" "That's purely idioitic!" "There's nothing idiotic about it!" "Certainly!" "There's nothing idiotic about it!" "There are moral issues involved." "How can you say a thing like that?" "Uh, Excuse me." "(Crying) Madam, have you gone mad?" "Take your hands off him!" "Let go of Mr. Merrick!" "Let go of Mr. Higgins!" "Are you alright, Mr. Merrick?" "Are you hurt, Mr. Merrick?" "Are you hurt, Mr. Merrick?" "Are you alright, Mr. Merrick?" "Are you hurt, Mr. Merrick?" "Are you alright, Mr. Merrick?" "Elizabeth, money isn't everything." "You could learn to love me." "Mary, you see my side of it." "Say something!" "Joe!" "Hey, that's my wife you've got there." "This one's yours." "Ignore him." "Haha" "We're having a swell time, Mr Merrick." "Glad you are, Mr..." "Mr Felspar." "Mens clothing, 3rd floor." "Lovely dress, Mary." "Our debutante model, 27/75." "You remember Mrs. Craig, lingerie, 5th floor?" "Mr. Martin, hardware, basement?" "Mr. Merrick." "How do you do?" "Do you remember everybody's name in the store." "Almost everybody." "Oh, aren't they having a wonderful time!" "Indeed." "He's alright!" "Who's alright?" "Merrick's alright!" "♩ For he's a jolly good fellow ♩" "♩ For he's a jolly good fellow ♩" "♩ For he's a jolly good fellow ♩ Gee, this is wonderful!" "I can't believe that we're really going to Honolulu." "♩ Which nobody can deny ♩ ♩ Which nobody can deny ♩" "♩ For he's a jolly good fellow ♩ ♩ For he's a jolly good fellow ♩" "♩ For he's a jolly good fellow ♩" "♩ Which nobody can deny!" "♩" "♩ For he's a jolly good fellow ♩ ♩ For he's a jolly good fellow ♩" "♩ For he's a jolly good fellow ♩" "♩ Which nobody can deny!" "♩"