" Boo!" " Carly!" "What are you doing here?" "Just a little light reading." "Are you a fan of Euclid?" "Was Pythagoras into triangles?" "Okay." "Um..." "Uh." "What are you..." "Damn it, Hercules." "Leave!" "Go, go, go, go." "Yup, that's my family, or was." "If all the world's a stage, then my mom's the star." "Look, I know she means well, I just wish her spotlight wasn't always so close to me." " How did you do that?" " You're welcome." "I did not know how to turn that on." " Turn the knob, mom." " Yeah, okay." "I thought you were gonna take those pictures down." "Oh, yeah." "I'll get to it soon." "No big deal." " Okay." " Wait!" " Where you going?" " I'm late." "I made homemade jam." "CY Epstein here, owner of CY's." "Home of the greatest selection of new and used car stereos and old audio equipment in all of Southern California." "From speakers to nad, Bluetooth and even musical equipment." "If you can't find it at CY's, you can't find it." "And don't forget to check out our Venice location." "Home of the one and only consignment mountain." "Wow, I might be the first guy in history to ever stay home for a not-girlfriend." "That's really..." "That's really funny." "You should tweet that." "Jeremy, my best friend, we met in fourth grade, and formed a candy cartel." "I was the brains and he was the distribution." "We made $11 cash." "Is it the sex thing?" "'Cause it's so not a big deal." " Girls like virgins." " Clearly." "I can only help so much." "Whatever your problem is, you're behaving like a real vagina." "And how is that?" "By giving birth?" "Creating a pathway for menstrual blood of just self cleansing?" "Vaginas are cool." "Oh, right, Carly." "She's smart, funny, and a great musician, even if she doesn't always believe in herself." "I've heard people say that she's really pretty, so, that too, I guess." "When your mom turns 40, do you think you'll have to stop jerking off to her?" "You know that line we talked about?" "That's crossing it." "Good morning, teach." "Hey, morning, Ryan." "You know, black viper has 25... 350 watts, four to 3,000 hertz." "Mr. Ramsdell, my favorite teacher of all time." "He's been here all summer checking out the black viper, but never even turns it on." "I guess he's going through a late-life crisis, or something." "That's correct." " Orientation's next week, right?" " Yes." "You're gonna love Boston in the fall." "Jeannie went to grad school there after we got married." "Did I mention that to you?" "You did." "You did." "Okay." "Good talk." "Good talk." "Derek." "Until he came along in ninth grade," "I was the undisputed heavy weight champion of the nerds." "I kind of told him that if I went to UCLA we could be roommates." "I thought he wasn't listening." "He was." "Hickey!" "Oh, Derek, what the hell!" " What are you doing?" " Gettin' my blade on, roomie." "By the time school starts, I'm gonna be a master." "You're not really going to m.I.T, are you?" "You'd better tell me now, or I'm gonna get totally hosed on the roommate sitch, dude." "Please." "Do not f me, Ryan." "I will not f you, Derek." "I just want five bucks." " Thank you." " All right." " Go!" " Hey." " Good morning, Ryan." " Hey, Gary, hey." "That's Gary, my boss." "He can fix toasters." "Not sure why, but he can." "4,589 divided by 16." "Henry, our security guard." "He was a champion prize fighter, but a bad blow to the eye sent him into early retirement." "He's been working at the store for 30 years, which is pretty much the definition of bad luck." "Uh, 286.81." "Yeah?" "Yeah." "Good morning, honey." "Ellen, she scares the fuck out of me." "She wants to be a vet, I think, but I wouldn't let her anywhere near animals." "Or people." "I'd give you a hand job with my eyes open if it meant you never speak to me again." "Throw in a warm moist towel, and you've got a deal." "Okay, I'm done talking now." "You'll figure out who everyone else is." "I promise." "Wow, you really brought your a-game today." "I'm not gonna lie, it does feel good." "You've been practicing." "Oh, my god, you have been practicing!" "What, did you, like, buy a book or something?" " You did!" " Oh, no." "Oh, no." " Oh, okay." " Hi." "That is fantastic." "He never cared about..." "Hey, keep playing, Ryan." "We're dancing over here." "You know, he bought a book?" " Did he?" " Yeah." "He's getting so good." "Did you teach him?" "Thanks... thanks for lunch, mom." "Oh, have fun." "See you tonight." " Bye." " Bye Mrs. chess." "Oh, it's snusz now." "I'm gonna go clock in and then when I come back he'll probably have forgotten this, right?" " Unlikely." " That's what I thought." "Don't forget your lunch." "Thanks, mom." "Why do they call him the hawk?" "The dude is magic with the ladies." "Met a girl at a bachelorette party, they ended up dating for six months." "So?" "The girl was the bachelorette." "Huh." ""Sale psych 101"?" " Did you read this?" " Carly did." "She swears by it." "Brady gave it to her as a love present." "Girls like Carly don't get with guys like Brady." "All girls wanna get with a guy like Brady." "They can't help themselves." "It's the flight or fuck response." "Isn't that right, sweetie?" "Uh..." "Thought I got something..." "Thank you." " Good friend, Jeremy." " I know." " Good friend." " I know." "This program sucks!" "Hi." "Thanks." "Oh." "Sorry." " I never get these." " Huh?" "I never get these." "It must be a lucky day for you." "You never know." "Can't be!" "Brady, yes, I received the package." "What?" "What?" "I can't hear you." "Batting cages?" "Okay, bye." "I'm up." ""Dear team, it is with much regret that we are announcing the immediate closure of branch 11." "But please understand this is a business and not a personal decision, and was based on your store's failure to meet its goals for q3, i..."" "what the hell!" "Immediate?" " As in, like?" " Today." "Brady's on his way here." "Well, just because we didn't hit our numbers?" "Yeah, when have we ever hit our numbers?" "What about severance?" "It says a week for every year you've been here." "A week?" "That's not gonna pay for my tuition." "What the hell am I supposed to do now?" "I can't believe it." "I'm so screwed." "I mean, Jesus, I have to move back to Camarillo." "Camarillo?" "Great outlet stores." "Almost 50% off essential oils at the bath and body works there." "I..." "I heard." "What?" "Are you hiring?" "Then, no, I can't hold." "Brady sets the goal the quarter." "He knew that these numbers were impossible." "Oh, it's possible, if we cared." "Or if we sold everything in the store." "Ooh, he shouldn't do that." "Ligamentous laxity can lead to early onset of arthritis." "What?" "Oh my gosh, look at all these serial numbers." "God!" "Hickey!" "'Sup big snot?" "Ass breath, what's going on with you, brother." "Whoa!" "That dorm is huge." "How many bitches does it hold?" "It doesn't really specify." "I should've went to college." " It's a pussy factory." " What about boobs?" "Are they made in a completely separate facility?" "Huh, what?" "Dude, you gotta take me with you, bro." "I'll show you how to do this, man." "I'll wingman your shit." "Better yet, you can wingman mine." " For serious." " Okay." "Bobby, is there something I can help you with?" "Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah." "I gotta big fight tonight." "Handle that for me, would ya?" "Thank you, brother." " Enjoy yourself." " Mm-hmm." "Inventory's up to date, and sales?" "I believe so." "Brady created this cloud server thing to store all our accounting." "I could swear we've done way more in repair sales." "So, our highest mark up is on the in dash LCD displays, right?" "And the black viper, of course." "Why?" "What's on your mind?" "Well, if we decrease costs by 35% across the board and then increase volume by 289%, we could do this." "Uh, do what?" "Hit out number." "Save the store." "That would be enough money?" "No, not quite, we have to sell consignment mountain." "Are you kidding me, Gary?" "Gary!" "Gary!" "Come on, Ryan, we'd have to sell more in one day than we have all quarter." " Who's gonna do that?" "You?" " Yeah, why not?" "The only person that can sell like that is Brady." "And he's coming down here to close the store, not keep it open." "Gary, a year ago this place was dying." "Okay?" "And the mountain and repair was your idea." "And it was a great idea." " Was it, Ryan?" " Yes." "Look around." "This place is a mess." "Is this really where you'd come to buy high end electronics?" "I don't think so." "Hello?" "Oh, hi!" "Enrollment ends tomorrow?" "Right." "Right." "Yeah, yeah, I knew that." "I knew that." "Yeah, uh, thank you for your call." "Yuck." "Well, shit." "Hey!" "Hey are you..." "Are you okay?" "I'm fine." "You smell funny." "Where you..." "Where you going?" "To clean out my locker." "So, so that's it?" "What else is there?" "Stop!" "Why?" "Because..." "Because we're not closing." "Okay?" "I did the math, and we could still do this together we can sell enough to hit our number." "Like, Ellen, you are our secret weapon." "I mean, nobody expects you coming, but then you're there and boom," " you're unstoppable." " Have you met me?" "I've never sold anything in my life." "Mm-hmm." "And Jeremy, you are an amazing installer." "You're fast, efficient, professional." "There's so much more that you're capable of." "You'd be a great seller, too." "And Carly, you are like a force of nature." "I mean, you're the strongest seller that this store's ever seen." "And you know I'm right." "That may be, but what are you gonna do about it, boy wonder?" "Me?" "I'll sell, too." "I wish to god I had another option." "You can count on us." "Carly, please." "I need you." "We need you." "Fine, I'm in." "So... we're all in." " Radio Raheem, what's up?" " Oh, hey, um, we're having a sale." " This is my corner, bitch." " Excuse me?" "From the taco stand to the vet, this is my turf." "Ow." "Yeah, it's thick cardboard, isn't it?" "Property rentals and car audio are two completely different industries." "We're not even competing." "I said, "now."" "No, I'm staying." "Did you just hit me?" " No, - oh, shit." " You did not just hit me - no, no, I didn't hit you." " I'm not your sister, you little shit." " What is up with you?" " Ah, ah!" "Yeah, you didn't know you were gonna get a fuckin' banana up you ass this morning, did you?" "What's wrong with you?" "Dude, what the hell happened to you?" "All right, lay this out for me." "We save the store, Carly sticks around, and you get to keep on not asking her out?" "I'm not gonna rush into anything, okay?" "And everyone's still in shock." "This isn't 'Nam, dude." "See?" "I'm funny, right?" "Where is everybody?" "At home, getting baked." "No." "No, no, no, no, they're not home." "Okay, Ellen, call the slice in about a half an hour and order as many pizzas as you can." "I'm sorry." "We're gonna have to pass on that project, but we're huge fans, so please stay in touch." "Please, Ellen." "Thank you." "Come on." "What are we doing here?" "We need cards to get into the pot store." "And why would we want to get into the pot store?" "Because stoners are notoriously poor decision makers." "And buy shit they don't need." "Genius." "I know." "You're stoned." "No, I'm not." "You are so stoned." "All right, I'm ready for Mr. Ryan and Mr. Jeremy." " What?" " Nothing." "So you've been having trouble sleeping." "How long has this been going on?" "About a year." "Sorry to hear that." "And, uh, you, migraines." "Have you tried any medication?" "To no avail." "I believe that." "All right, boys, I'm sorry for your problems." "Hopefully this medicine will help." "So, we're good to go?" "Almost." "Jews for Jesus?" "Are you serious?" "Give it a read." "Why are you giving this to me?" "I'm not even Jewish." "Well, I don't know." "You're smart, ambitious, have an unusually close relationship with your mother." "It's kind of Jew-ish." "You know what?" "Forget it." "We don't want these." "Dude, chill." "We need this." "We don't have time for this." "Don't you see what's going on here?" " This guy's pot comes with a price." " No, it does not." "The good doctor just gave us some nice literature." "Isn't that right, Dr. Brownstein?" "Did you know that Paul was educated by one of the most eminent pharisaic rabbis of his time?" "That's not helping." "Boys, listen, I'm not trying to push anything on you." "Okay?" "I'm just trying to open your mind to the possibilities." "So, if you would indulge me, and take a seat," "I'm gonna..." "Take a seat." ""Shev."" "Here, have a little matzos." "On me." "You'll enjoy it." "Hot matzos?" "It's strong, so be careful." "Break it into little pieces before you take some." "Now sit back, relax, and let me open up your world to Jewish Jesus." "Hello, disciples." "Oh, I didn't know Jesus could fly." "There's a lot you don't know about Jesus." "For instance, did you know Jews are for me?" "You mean, Jews for Jesus?" "Exactamundo." "Okay." "Jesus." "He's crazy, man." "How in the hell is pizza going to help?" "I'm sure Ryan has a plan." "You know how smart he is." "That is so cute." "You taught your lady parts how to speak." "What is wrong with you?" "Oh, please, he's so into you, like you don't know?" "Stick to the plan." "Hey, how's it going?" "Do you like pizzas?" "You should buy it..." "Before the others do." "Okay." " Where you going?" " You got this." "Okay." "Oh, I got it." " Hi." " Hi." " Oh, can you help me?" " Uh, yeah, sure." "I'd like a new n-LCD receiver." "Any particular model?" "Yes, the Kenwood dnx570tr." "How much is that?" " That's $1099, but..." " Sold!" " Okay." "Awesome." " Okay." "Let's go." "Okay, sweet." "I know." "You can't start it up if you want." " I'm good." " Okay..." "All right." "Thank you." " Thank you." " Thank you." "Thanks." "Have a good one, guys." "That's 1-2." "Is this your boy?" "Yeah, we're supposed to be roommates." "Yeah, I figured." "I know." "I know." " I know you do." " I know you know I know." "Yeah, I know you know I know." "Hey, mom." "Where have you been?" "Now?" "All right, you..." "Okay." "Okay." "Uh..." "Oh, honey, thank god." "It's stuck." "You said it was an emergency." "It is." "It's heavy, I can't get it down." "Oh, thank you." "Your father was really good at this kind of stuff." "He could fix anything." "You said he was useless with a tool box." "I don't remember saying that." "Look, I really gotta get back to work." " It's crazy." " I know." "Gary told me." "When did you speak with Gary?" "Oh, I was at the coffee shop, coming in while he was going out, and he told me what you're doing there" " and I think it's really great." " Okay." " Why don't you tell me about it." " I'll make a sandwich for us." "Look, I really gotta go, mom." "I'm sorry." "Told ya." "It's a mating call." "Thanks." "Dr. Goodall." " She loves me." " Clearly." "Where were you?" "Oh, I had to run home." "For what?" "There was an emergency with the alarm, so I had to fix it." "Mmm." "I mean, everything's moving doing well here, isn't it?" "Hey, I sold eight sets of speakers, two window tintings and a neon undercarriage lighting package." " Oh." " Your turn." "Okay." "Bingo." " Wait." " Yeah?" "What's your plan?" "Well, you know, besides my winning personality and my good looks, that's pretty much it." "How about an LP?" "Is that like a Scientology term?" "Like..." "like the tan or..." "No, no, an LP is a way of subtly changing the way you speak as a means of persuasion." "No matter what the customer says," " always agree with them." " Even if they're wrong?" "Exactly." "Are you using an LP on me right now?" "Never mind." "Look, it worked when Brady taught it to me." "Wait, I got a better idea." " Like what?" " Like an auction." "Uh, sorry." "Ladies and gentlemen, step right up and let the bidding begin." "This authentic Chinese surge protector grounds ac with a triple patented combination of six regular outlets." "Wow." "Do I hear $50?" "Everything's already 35% off." "Fair enough." "Do I hear 25?" "15?" "Okay, guys, I get it, I get it." "Times are tough, okay?" "First person who bids will win a..." "A dance with me." "Slow dance?" "Like a turtle." "I'm in." " Okay." " And Ellen." "Hey, why don't we play one of your songs?" "I don't have any of mine with me." "Okay." "Wow!" "You're so good with computers, Ryan." "Oh, why, thank you, Carly." "Hey, we should get coffee sometime." "Oh, my god, I would, like, totally love that." "Hey, thirsty?" "Uh, yeah, sure." "Okay." ""Balls to the walls." " Bolivian energy drink of the gods."" "Hmm." "Didn't Brady say Jeremy couldn't store his pyramid schemes here anymore?" "So, Brady, yeah, as a friend, do you, like, talk and stuff?" "Sometimes." "Not bad." " Want some?" " Nah, no, I'm good, thanks." "So sometimes it's..." "Mainly work stuff I imagine." "That's cool." "Nah, we bone." "I mean, not all the time." "Sometimes it's just like a quick BJ after work." "You know, if he's tired, I'll just give him like, a sad hand job or something." "I'm kidding!" " Oh, my god." " Right, right." "You should have seen your face." "You really don't understand sarcasm, do you?" "Well, no, I knew that." "I knew that." "I was..." "I was judo kidding." "So zinger..." "Is on you." " It stings." "Burns a little bit, doesn't it?" "What did mama bear pack you?" "Let's see what we got here." " Aw, peanut butter and jelly." " Yup." "She even cut the crusts off." " Yeah, she did, didn't she?" " You know what they say about guys who have better relationships with their mom?" "They make the best boyfriends." "You're gonna be a heartbreaker." "Mary's prayer." "Really?" "I..." "I love this song." "I actually won a contest playing it when I was a kid." "Really?" "Where?" "On the mall circuit?" "Oh, my god." "Once." " Twice." " Mm-hmm." "It was my dad's idea." "That's... that's like..." "That's pretty cool." "Oh, god." "All right, your turn." " Spill." " What?" "Tell me something about you that nobody else knows." "It'll never leave this room." "Um..." "So when do you leave?" "I, uh, I don't..." "I don't really know." "I haven't decided yet, so..." "M.I.T.'S a great school, Ryan." "Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, totally totally, but UCLA is great, too." "Actually, polls say it's one of the top five universities in the country, so..." "Wow." "But m.I.T. Gave you a full scholarship." "Yes, but i..." "I applied to UCLA late, so..." "So what's keeping you here?" "The climate." "You know it's nice, but, then, if it gets too nice" " you can go to big bear." " I should get back to work." "Yeah, yeah." "Oh, yeah, I'll be right there, I just... you know." "Yeah." "Holy shit." "Did you guys just?" "Bone?" "In the parking lot?" "In broad daylight midday?" "Yes." "Yes, we did." "Stupid." "I knew it." "Has anybody seen my thumb drive?" " G-man!" " B-czar." "So sorry, buddy." "I wish it didn't have to be like this." "I know." "Hank, my man!" "It's been way too long." "You're looking fit, champ!" "Catch you guys inside." "Looking for this?" "My drive!" "I thought i... well, what were you doing with it?" "Well, I knew you were having trouble with that song," " so I just... i just thought..." " you thought what?" "You thought you'd steal it, reprogram it, give it back and I'd be grateful?" "Well, when you put it that way it doesn't sound so good, does it?" "No, it does not." "Brady!" "What are you doing here?" "Gary said you guys were making a run at it." "I thought I'd come by and see if I couldn't pitch in." " Is that okay?" "Are you kidding?" "That's amazing." "You must be Ryan, heard a lot about you." "Gary says you're the smartest kid he's ever hired." "Ow!" "Mother..." "Okay, I'm sorry, but I gotta ask, that nickname of yours, "hickey," is it true?" "Uh, uh, is..." "Is what true?" "You know, that you used to give 'em to yourself to convince people you had a girlfriend." "I was a 13-year-old kid." "Yeah, but, 13's kind of more of a teenager, wouldn't you say?" "Young adult, actually." "Hell, in Jeremy's culture, you'd already be considered a man." "What culture is that?" "And then you pushed me in the pool." "I didn't push you in the pool, okay?" "I bumped into you and it's not my fault your clumsy." "Besides, I still got a job, so..." " the joke's on you." "I totally forgot about that." " What a blast." "Yeah, the little I can remember, at least." "Hey, you guys." "Hey, I'll get out of your way." " Toaster?" " It's silly, I know, but..." "It'll only take me a couple of minutes to fix, and if I can sell it, we'd actually make a couple bucks." "What's so funny?" "I just don't get it." "I mean, you had all month to hit your numbers." "Why the hail Mary?" "Why not take a shot, right?" "All right, gar." "These were..." "These were big." "This is a generic." "These were big in the '90s." "They don't break." "I mean, they broke, but they're easy to fix." "Look, I said I'm sorry." "And I said apology accepted." "It's fine." " Hi, Ryan!" "Hey, Shirley, is everything okay?" " The receiver is marvelous." " Perfect." " The resolution is crystal clear." " Awesome." "Now I've got my eye on a new amp to go with it." "I'm thinking of a JBL." "Wow!" "Are you sure that's the one you want?" "It's a tad bit pricey." "Mom?" "What are you doing?" "Hi." "We're gonna need to return the receiver that she bought." "Oh, it's a sale, so, everything's final." "Yeah, no, I know, it's just, um..." "She's not well, and, um, she saw this on a show and was obsessed with it." "Do you watch any day time game shows?" "No, not really, so, sorry." "Wondering what's behind that next curtain?" "Well, it all could be yours, if you're the next contestant on..." ""The price is right."" ""The price is right." Ding ding ding ding..." "Yeah, ding, ding, ding..." " Ding, mama, yeah." " Ding, ding, ding, ding." " I wanna adopt Ryan." " Okay, we'll do that." "We'll get on the..." "Start on the paperwork." " Okay." " All right." "He'll be your little brother." "Yeah..." "We can get bunk beds." "You almost done with that, Ryan?" " Thanks, buddy." " Oh, you're welcome." "Come on down!" "Come on down this way." "Don't take her ice cream away ever, she bites." "Come on!" "We're gonna do this!" " Go for it!" " I'm fine, I'm fine." "Let's get this." "He's not getting away with this." "Elbow titty's real." "Like, I feel it." "You are so dead." "Oh!" "Hello, hickey." " Nice to see you." " What do you want, Berger?" "Oh, I'm just here to repay the visit." "You know it." "I bet you heard all about Jeremy's little jaunt to see us this morning." "Can't say that I did." "Well, then, here, let me show you." "Huh?" "Take a look at that." "That's my store." "See him?" "You shat in a toaster?" "It's not funny, lady boy." "I mean, I don't know when my customers are gonna come back." "I..." "I am totally pressing charges." "Let's go." "No, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on." "Hey, what do you want?" "Oh, you know what I want." "Come on, man." "I don't even remember it." "Okay, then, never mind." "Come on, boys!" "W-w-wait!" "Son of a bitch." "I used to own a leather jacket that got ruined in the rain." "No, no, no, you have to do the voice." "You totally have to do the voice." "Or no deal." "What is this?" "Sixth grade talent show act." "I hate these guys." "Aren't cows outside a lot of the time?" "When it stops raining do they run to the farm house," ""let us in?"" "We're in leather." "Hey, who is that?" " Seinfeld?" " Open up the door," " it's the only outfit we've got!" " I'm outta here." "Bravo." "No wonder this store is doing so well." "Laugh factory here cares more about his bit than helping customers." "Really, you shouldn't do that." "It's terrible for your teeth." "Ew." "How did you get to be so charming?" "Oh, my mom breastfed me until I was 12." " 13 would have been weird." " So weird." "Was he really that good of a baseball player?" "A natural." "Then why didn't he go pro?" "The only thing Brady cares about is Brady." "What?" "Gary should have been regional manager." "He has a lot of great ideas." "Brady didn't want none of them to work." " He wants to fail." "Unbelievable." " Right." "I didn't say that." "Hey!" "Carly, can I talk to you for a second, in private?" "Oh, what's with the secrets, gossip girl?" "No secrets, I was just gonna tell Carly why you're really here." "Oh, go ahead." "I love a good yarn." "Okay." "Brady's here to make sure we fail." "Isn't that right, hawk?" "Ryan, what are you talking about?" "Please, is old man Aesop telling fables again?" "What kinda sense does that make?" "Okay, fine." "So what have you done to help?" "Game on." "Uh." "Come on." "You don't want those, bro." "Excuse me?" "And why don't I want those?" "1,900 bucks?" "I mean, even with the sale, that's pretty steep." "I'm sorry, don't you work here?" "I do, but I couldn't sit by and watch you make such a terrible decision." "Nice, right?" "And only a third of the price." "Oh, those are tiny." "Perfect for talk radio, sports." "Yeah, I don't know." "That pairs great for music lovers." "Really isolates the instruments and vocals, but I'm kind of a musical theater geek, so..." "Really?" "Oh, I was just listening to "gypsy"" "on the way over here." "Broadway production or west end revival?" "West end?" "Oh, my god, Imelda Staunton, right?" " It pains me that she's only known for Harry Potter films." "Oh, it's a crime." "And what kind of vehicle are you driving in?" " A Miata." " Naturally." " I love that car." "I love it." " Who doesn't?" "My first girlfriend..." "You've been really helpful." "Apology accepted." "Now, if you don't mind, I'd like to speak to Carly." "In private." ""In private."" "Wow!" "Looks like CY is treating someone right." "As he should." "I'm the only one around here with any vision." "Without me the whole chain would go belly up." "So, what did you want to talk to me about?" "Twice the pay, 15% more commission, and three weeks paid vacation." "What?" "The assistant manager position." "I'm offering you at the San Diego shop." "You're welcome." " God, Ryan was right." " Hold on." "That's not true." "Think about it." "The more money this store makes, the more I make." "Why would I want you to close if I'm making money?" "It doesn't make sense." "Can you blame me for trying to hold on to my number one seller?" "I know how much your music means to you, but without the money to finish your studio you'll never put out a song, and you know it." ""Foot in the door." "Getting a customer to agree to a large purchase after agreeing to a modest one."" "Okay." "That's a pretty sweet Blu-ray player." "You know what would look great on it?" ""Cat eats banana ii"?" "Yeah." "You know, or..." "You ever see that video of that guy sneaking up on that calico by the pool?" "It's like this cat's like, "what?"" "And the guy's like, "what?"" "It slays me every time." "Uh, uh, well, yeah, with the 1080i on this..." "Here you go, thanks, man." "Wait, what are you, what are you doing?" "This is gonna be great, man." "Thanks, you made my day." " What?" " Apprec..." "This was just the foot." " What's your problem?" " You." "You are my problem, Ryan." "Look at me." "I bust my ass at this shitty job in this lousy store, just so I can afford half a semester at veterinary school." "But it's always a big joke to you, isn't it?" "You got a full ride to m.I.T., yet you choose to stay here." "How the hell do you think that makes me feel?" "You're my problem, Ryan, because every time I look at you I'm reminded of just how easy it is for some people." "Screw you." "Okay." "Whoa!" "We're never gonna make it." "This whole idea was stupid." "Dude, what is your deal?" "M.I.T. Has been your dream school since forever and now it's happening." "What are you so afraid of?" "I'm not afraid of anything." "Okay?" "What are you doing?" " What are you... what are you doing?" " We all have secrets." "We are all afraid of something." "You're my best friend, Ryan, and I'm willing to do whatever it takes to help you." "Oh, oh, my god." "Oh, my god!" "Oh, my god!" "Oh, oh, my god!" "Where is the other one?" "It's called cryptorchidism, Ryan." "It's an undescended testicle, and it's who I am." "Well, well, well, put it away, okay?" "No." "You need to see this." " It can't hurt you." " It is hurting me." "I'm just being more open with you, and it's about time that you did the same." "You think by showing me your ball," "I'm gonna have some epiphany about my life?" "No." "For that, I think you need to show me your..." "No!" "No, no, no, no!" "Fine!" "Don't." "I'll just have to tell Carly she's the real reason you're sticking around." "You wouldn't dare." "You know me." "Of course, I would." "What the hell is wrong with you?" "You son of a bitch." " Whoa." " What?" "Nothing, it's nice." " Girthier than I imagined." " You imagined it?" " The way a friend does." " That's not a thing." "Well, aren't you going to compliment mine?" "Uh... it looks sensitive." "Oh, Ryan!" "Ryan, how's it going?" "What are you doing?" "Oh, it's just, uh, checking out..." "No, no, not with the car." " With your life?" " Excuse me?" "Everyday, everyday all summer long you've been here." "You clearly love this car, and yet you never even turn it on." " You don't understand yet." " Okay, than tell me!" "Help me understand!" "I mean teach me something, damn it, because this doesn't make any sense." "I miss her." "Janie." "You know, i..." "When she was dying," "I'd come here in the morning and spend all day just kicking the tires." "I'd go home at night, tell her everything I'd learned, she'd just..." "She'd just laugh at me, tell me how silly I was." "I was..." "I was silly." "I'm sorry." "I'm sorry." "Funny thing is, after she was gone," "I just kept coming back here, you know?" "It reminds me of her." "It reminds me of her." "I miss her, too." "Thanks." " I'll take it." " What?" "I want it!" "I do!" "I really want it." "Thank you!" "Thank you." "Thank you." "Oh, my god!" "Oh, you have no idea how much I needed this." "The sale or the hug?" "Both." "Wait for it, wait for it." " There it is." "Thank you." "Thank you." "Come on, come on!" "Oh, my god." "He did it." "Hmm." "Must be a glitch." "Run it again." "That's odd." "I'm sorry, do you have another card?" "No, no, that's..." "That's my credit union." "I was just there yesterday." "I..." "I don't understand." "Maybe it's more than my daily limit, i..." "Ryan, I am so sorry." "Hey, no worries." "Why don't you come down to our San Diego shop next week." "Bring a check, and I'll let you have it for the same price with free delivery." "Just ask for Carly." " You took a job?" " No." " With him?" " I don't know." "Maybe." "Where's Gary?" "Does he know about this?" "Sorry, the only person with the authority to save this place now is CY." "It's out of my hands." "But come on, Hickster, you're a smart kid, what the hell are you doing here anyways?" "Oh, shit." "I knew it." "You're into her." "I should have bet somebody." "You know what, you're right, hawk." "There's nothing here for me anymore, okay?" "I quit." "Brady Krane, regional manager." "Thanks." "Is that Navajo?" " Ryan, wait." " Leave me alone." "What did I do?" "You set me up." "Okay, you built up my confidence." "Oh, how terrible of me." "I didn't do anything." "You're the one who made a complete ass of yourself in there." "Fine, but between your pyramid schemes and your stupid jobs, what have you ever made for yourself." "Well, screw you, Ryan, I just showed you my dong." "You know, for a genius, you can be a real idiot." "What is that supposed to mean?" "Well, do you think it's a coincidence that your parents waited until senior year to get divorced?" "They stuck it out for you." " You shut up." "You know what, I'm sorry." "I thought this was about Carly, but it's not." "You and your mom have become totally codependent." "I fucking hate you." "You're an asshole." "Oh, my god, what happened?" "Oh, look, Dr. Dolittle suddenly cares about people." "Shit." "You have got to be shitting me." "It slipped." "No, shit." "That's coming out of your paycheck." "I can't afford that." "Hmm." "Neither can I." "Please clock out and leave, Henry." "You're fired." "What about my severance?" "What about it?" "Really?" "Really?" "Unbelievable." "God damn it, Henry." "Henry, what the hell are you doing?" "Did you not even see me there?" "What I finished boxing, nobody told me I was done." "I left on my own terms." "Did Brady fire you because of what you told me?" "Because he can't do that." "It was nice knowing you, Ryan." "You take care." "I can't believe you didn't say anything." "It's not like I'm happy about it." "Yeah, well..." "Well, if I didn't know better, I'd think you were into him." "Please, it was one kiss." "You kissed him?" "It was a year ago, maybe more." "Okay, he just like offered me the job, and we'd had a few too many drinks, and..." "What am I telling you for?" "I don't know, beats me." "Just hurry up." "Okay, not that it's any of your business," " but at least now I can finish my studio." " Right, right." "Like nobody's ever made music without a studio." "What's that supposed to mean?" "It's textbook fear of failure." "Really?" "Wow, is that what they taught you at m.I.T.?" "Oh, wait, you were too scared to go." " God, you don't get it!" " Textbook fear of failure." "Do you?" "God, Carly, the whole reason why I'm here is because I'm in love with you." "Well, you should have picked a better reason, because that's a terrible one." "Damn it, Ryan." "It's the bottom of the eighth and there's two outs." "That's a high pop to shallow center." "That should end the game." "Wait!" "Wait!" "What's Brady Krane doing?" "I'm sorry about all this, guys." "I really am." "If you ever need a referral or recommendation, just let me know, okay?" "That's it?" "Dude, you need a better speech writer." "What more do you want?" "Mean it." "Come again." "You could at least throw us a party or something." "A party?" "What do you think this is, a quinceañera?" "I'm not Mexican." "Yeah, right." "So, where, exactly, would we have said party?" "Here." "With a keg." "And music." "Fine." "In the installation bay, and only a few people." " You hear me?" " Okay, absolutely." "Thank you, sir." "Mom?" "Oh, my god!" "Gary!" "Gary, Gary, what the hell?" "Relax, honey, it's just art." "Is this what you have been doing all day?" "It's not what it looks like." "It is exactly what it looks like." "I'm going to go back to work." "Why?" "To fix more junk?" "Don't bother." "Brady already took care of that." "Ryan, that's enough!" " Why now?" " What?" "Gary, it's nothing..." "I'm not talking about Gary, mom." "You and dad were miserable for years, why wait until now to get a divorce?" "Did you really think that I would feel so guilty about leaving you alone, that I just wouldn't go?" "Well, guess what, mom..." "Good work." "I'm still here." "I am so sorry." "Ryan, you're my only son and I love you more than anything in the whole world, but I would never hold you back." "Never." "Rivers belong where they can ramble." "Eagles belong where they can fly." "That's from "pippin," mom." "Doesn't mean it's not true." "Damn you and your stupid show tune wisdom." " Steven!" " Carly!" " What's going on?" " How you doing?" "What's you got for me?" "Sorry, dog, it's not ready." "Check back in a few months." "Actually, I think it's pretty good." "Right on." "I hope you have a back up for that." "Yo, make some noise for my girl, Carly!" "Yo, man, I totally get why you wanna stay here, man." "M.I.T.'s totally played out." "M.I.T. Is one of the finest private research universities in the world." "Their polytechnic model has set a global standard in applied sciences and engineering." "As of 2014, they have produced 81 Nobel laureates, 52 national medal of science recipients, and 38 MacArthur fellows, so it is totally not played out." "Okay?" "And i..." "Belong there." "Listen, Ryan, I'm not sure what the future holds for either one of us, man, but I know yours isn't here, dude." "I love you and I'm proud of you." "You gotta go." "Thanks, man." "Okay." "It's cream soda." "I was recording that." "I'm gonna save this now." " This is great." " Thank you." "Check you out." "I can't believe it." "It actually didn't sound terrible." "Well, this calls for a little celebration." "How about a bottle of '79 Dom?" "Sure." "If they don't have it, will a bud light do?" "Even better." "Ugh!" "They gonna play this oomph-oomph shit all night?" "Oh, like the music the girl you're hitting on makes?" "Aww." "Are you sad I stole her from your little friend?" "You guys are hilarious." "Do you really think that a guy like Ryan stands a chance with a girl like Carly?" "A guy like Ryan stands a chance with whoever" " or whatever he wants." " You're so cute." "Wish I had a little Jeremy pillow pet so we could cuddle all night long." "And I wish I had a tube sock with your face on it, so I could spray semen down your cottonflo." "Burn." "I think I'm falling in hate with you." "I did not see that coming." "Neither did I." " What are you doing?" " Nothing." "Just thinking about old times." "Good times." "Brady, are you hiring me because I'm a good employee, or because you wanna hook up with me?" "Do I have to choose?" "Excuse me, that's it." "Underdog!" "You made it." "Can I talk to you for a second?" "This again?" "Dude, the street lights are on, you'd better get home." "Don't wanna wake up your mom and Gary, do you?" " Oh, that's it." "It's go time." " Run, now!" "Move, Benihana." "Ryan!" "Why the hell did you do that?" "Oh, my bad." "Thought I was looking out for my friend." "Where are you?" "Shit." "I'm sorry." "Okay?" "You've always been honest with me, even when I didn't wanna here it." "Well, not always." "I've kinda been taking classes in acupuncture and massage therapy." "That's great." "That's great." "Why didn't you tell me?" "I thought you'd make fun of me." "Just another one of my stupid schemes." "Is that how I make you feel?" "Sometimes." "It's not easy being sidekick to a boy genius, you know?" "Yeah, right." "Some genius." "I mean, look at me." "I blew it." "No, you didn't." "You are going to get everything you want and then some." "The only one who doesn't know it yet is you." "So you're really gonna become a masseuse?" "Yeah." "Come here." "Oh!" " How's the pressure?" " That's interesting." "And that's your c7." " Okay." "Yeah, it's a trigger point." "Now if I go a little bit deeper" " in the deltoid..." " Okay, okay, okay." "Okay." "That's weird." "These are Gary's repair sales." "Were." "Brady must have shredded them." "Why?" "Oh, my god." "Oh, my god, that's it!" "He wanted them off the books." "No wonder we've been coming up short almost every quarter." "Brady hasn't been including the repair sales in his report, he's been pocketing it." " Really?" " Yeah." "I mean, I mean, I guess, I mean look at this." "There's gotta be over like 15 grand here." "But how can you prove it?" "It's all backed up on the cloud." "I just gotta get inside and then access it." "Oh, no, you can't go back in there." "He'll kill you." "I've got it." "Okay, so this will crack Brady's code." "It will alert him and it will take a while." "I'll go distract him." "No, I've got this." " What are you doing?" "Something I'll probably regret." "Yeah, hey, mom?" "Yeah, can you pick me up?" "Can you believe this shit?" "Yeah, I can." " Brady, what are you doing?" " Shut it, breakfast club." "This doesn't concern you." " Oh." " Yes!" "Home run, bitches!" "Oh, come on." "I didn't hit him." "It was a sweet cut." "Carly, don't be an idiot." "You'd really choose that over a job?" "I didn't know I had to choose." "What are you looking at?" "I'm right here." "Brady, stop!" "Oh, relax." "It was just a little poke." "Whoa!" "League of our own has a little fight in her." "Guess this counts as self defense." "Ryan, it worked!" "All the money Brady stole, I got it right here." "Stole?" "What was I supposed to do all of Gary's work for free?" "I earned that money." "Wait!" "What's Brady Krane doing?" "Talk about out of position." "Oh, my god, did you see that?" "Krane tried to snatch the ball from his own teammate." "He's like..." "He's like a hawk." "Yeah." "Career ending injury is just hilarious, isn't it?" "You know, I should have been retired by now, but instead I have to deal with you losers." "You know what, screw this." "Screw all of you." "Ooh, man." "Knock it out." "Oh, what does that mean?" "I called him child of illegal lottery." "Trust me, it's bad." "Is that CY?" " Cyrus -how are you, Henry, my friend?" "Sorry it took me so long to get here." "Some pisser named Ryan called me." "Woke me up." "I told him to go to hell." "That is true, yeah." "So when he told me what was going on with you and the store, well, say no more." "He was a bad boy." "Brady." "Hey, wake up." "Wake up." "What the hell's going on around here?" "I closed the store." "I did what you told me to do." "I told you to close a store, not this one, and I told you to speak to Gary first about maybe expanding the repair side" " of the business." " And what, fixing more crap?" "Come on, CY, we're in sales, not service." "Who says we can't be in both?" "Sorry, hawk, your wings have been clipped." "The condor is back in town." "That's bullshit." "So, that's it?" "The store stays open?" "Of course it does." "And we will, of course, need a new regional sales manager." "I'm sorry it took me so long about that, Bubala." "It's okay." "I should have spoken up for what I wanted." " Look, mom." " Shut up." "You're going." "This is my musical, damn it, and I want a happy ending." " I love you, mom." " I love you, too." "Okay." "Stop!" "I was scared, okay?" "What?" "That's my secret." "I was scared to leave home." "Why?" "Because I was afraid that I would never meet anyone I love half as much as I love you." "Look, it's crazy, I know, and we barely even know each other that well, but this whole summer, I came up with this crazy notion of what it would be like if you and I were together." "And then it got to the point that I couldn't even imagine being with anybody else but you." "And then..." "And then today it..." "God, it felt like it actually happened." "We were..." "We were together." "We were always together." " Hi." " Hey." "So what happens now?" "I don't..." "I don't know." "I haven't ever thought this far through." " We still have a week left." " Eight days, actually." "How many minutes?" "11,520." " Seconds?" " 691,200." "Are you sure?" "And then a cube like that." "Oh, you're... boy, you're a genius." "I am a genius." "Yeah, I know, I said I wouldn't do this anymore, but I wanted to prepare you for what you're about to see." "It probably isn't the happy ending you were expecting, or, I was expecting, but I'm okay with that." "I think you will be, too." "You should share that with people." "Yeah, I know, my buddy, Burt, kinda already trying to look that up." "Yeah, yeah." "Ooh, is this Carly Alvarez?" "Don't you just love her?" "She's so great." "Yeah, yeah, I do." "Ew!" "That's disgusting." "Huh, I don't know." "Been working that corner for uh, mmm... seven?" "Seven years?" "Five years?" "Six and a half?" "Yeah, I might have over reacted a little bit." "Probably didn't need to beat the shit out of a teenage kid, but, you know, it's a very emotional corner for me." "This guy really..." "I guess you could say he was the love of my life." "Sorry, it's..." "It's hard for me to talk about it, but, yeah," "Pedro worked that corner for three and a half years." "Hated, I couldn't stand the fucker when he first started, but..." "Used to be an aquarium, so he'd come out in a big mouth bass costume." "God, I thought he was such a loser when I first met him, but, you know, you work a corner with someone, you get to know a person." "See the way they spin." "And... yeah, he just grew on me." "You know, we took a lunch, we'd go to subway, whatever." "Mccafé." "He loved Mccafé." "Then one day, he just, poof gone." "And not there." "God, I must have waited 12 hours, 13 hours?" "I had sunburn." "You can't believe." "I was afraid to leave my corner." "I just kept waiting for him to show up, but, uh, he didn't." "That was..." "That was three years ago, so everyday I'm out there, and I'm saving his corner for him." "So when that little shit showed up," "I mean, it's just, uh, it's just an emotional reaction." "Just..." "I guess, I lost it." "But, you know, you've gotta follow your heart, so..." "Pedro, if you're watching, I'm waiting for you." "Kept your corner." "We should just..." "We should cut there."