"We're pinned down!" "We can't get through!" "get over here and help!" "one second." "why are you jumping up and down?" "I'm trying to shoot." "Not the "wonderful thing about tiggers" button!" "Aw." "we're dead." "challenge them again." "Doing it right now." "There's an important little league game tomorrow." "they're jocks." "What happened to me?" "I used to excel at these things." "Kids are always better at video games." "I don't like it." "you still dress like a child." "but it's not just video games." "took me a week to stop accidentally texting kissy faces to everyone." "so our love is not real?" "I-i know how you feel. practically shot myself across the room." "I'm no longer a wunderkind." "Now I just wonder what's for lunch." "Hot dogs." "Yay." "I didn't know you could drink while you're breastfeeding." "they say the yeast in beer helps with milk production." "let me check." "Ruin it for me and I'll break this glass over your head." "To denial." "I'm gonna get another." "000 calories a day." "Do not touch that phone." "Penny?" "Zack." "Hey." "What are the odds of running into you here?" "so pretty good." "what's new? had a scary mole that turned out to be sharpie." "congratulations." "That's what my dermatologist said." "good for you." "thanks." "How about you?" "how's Leonard?" "Is he still smart?" "he's working for the government on an infinite persistence gyroscope. he's not even here." "I love that little guy." "we should all have dinner sometime." "I'll check with Leonard." "I'll check with Sara." "pull up my calendar." "It never works for me." "I've been thinking about our recent humiliation." "You're gonna have to be more specific." "At the hands of those teenagers." "More." "Boy teenagers." "that was bad. and I came across an area of research called "super-aging." "You know who's a super-ager?" "Jennifer Lopez." "what is her secret?" "this is rare." "I don't know which one of you I want to stop talking first." "The theory the neurofibers will become thicker and the glial cells more lustrous." "Like jlo's hair." "it is neck and neck right now." "How is super-aging any different doing crossword puzzles?" "it's not just doing simple cognitive tasks." "You need to push your brain out of its comfort zone and reach mental exhaustion. my brain must look like the hulk. you could learn to speak hindi." "Jab mein aat saal ka tha Maine seekha tha." "Could you say that in English?" "I never learned hindi." "you ready to go?" "I guess." "What's the matter?" "Honestly?" "It's a little strange and it's not like we have a lot to talk about." "okay?" "And he's interested in your work." "You could talk about the infinite perspective..." "I swear I know it." "let's just go. we can talk about their wedding." "I spent an entire plane ride with you talking about the trailer for deadpool 2." "Ha!" "I knew you weren't asleep." "where's your fiancée?" "she couldn't make it." "She had an emergency." "what happened?" "I didn't ask." "Hey." "Hey." "Hey." "What smells so good?" "Raj is teaching me to make croissants." "Is this part of your super-aging? it's like the chemistry set I had as a kid. no one has to call poison control." "Koothrappali:" "Okay." "Shall we?" "my god." "it's buttery." "just eat one of these." "it is delicious. what can't I do?" "clearly mental tasks are not enough." "Maybe you need to challenge your motor skills." "I am not having a tickle fight with you. try keeping me from eating more of these." "You're just using food to mask the fear that you're fundamentally unlovable and therefore going to be alone forever." "too." "Thanks. that is so cool." "Aw." "Do you have a bodyguard to keep spies away?" "that keeps most people away." "I miss that guy." "He's like the Swedish chef muppet." "but he's funny." "he's not funny." "what's going on with you?" "How's the job?" "I'm still in pharmaceutical sales." "She's doing amazing. sound like a 90% chance of liver success." "lying isn't my favorite part of the job." "I'm not crazy about a lot of it." "I've been looking for a new head of sales at my company. so the only lie you'll be telling is we print on recycled paper." "We don't." "that's a nice offer." "we'd make a great team." "I can't do this without "me n u." "'cause it spells "menu. but that's my favorite." "this is everything." "as long as it's challenging." "I teach you some close-up... magic. not everyone else." "So you wanted to learn something physical and you came to Howard wolowitz?" "the circus arts are very physically and mentally demanding." "Have you ever tried to juggle?" "I'm juggling my love for you and my embarrassment of you right now." "isn't it? you toss the next one." "I think I got that." "h-hold on." "an old saying in juggling." "Is it "I'm going to die alone"?" "start with one." "but we do not say. get comfortable with it." "Okay. am I in any danger of getting juggler's elbow?" "No." "Are you sure?" "'Cause I'm feeling a twinge." "that wasn't so bad." "He even picked up the check." "I'm pretty sure I saw smoke coming out of his ears." "are you?" "it seems kind of perfect. we could buy a boat." "Don't you think it might be a little weird to work for someone you used to date?" "you tell me." "it's weird." "are you seriously jealous of me working with Zack?" "I just think and you haven't slept with any of your coworkers." "so you want me to stay at a job I'm not happy at?" "Uh..." "You okay?" "You kind of look like Zack trying to figure out that tip. and working for an ex-boyfriend isn't very smart." "I'll jump out." "I'm on a unicycle!" "How did you get from croissants to a unicycle?" "I hurt myself juggling." "Where did you get it? Bernadette said forever." "Have you tried letting go of the rope?" "are you crazy?" "I'm on a unicycle." "have fun." "I need help getting down." "what do you want me to do? get their mattress and put it over here. scratch my nose." "So you told her she was being dumb?" "I told her she was being not smart." "Which was dumb." "Why did you even go to dinner with the guy?" "I'm dumb." "who cares?" "I can't believe Leonard would be so insecure." "Really?" "I have no trouble believing that at all." "And Zack's engaged." "Leonard has no reason to feel threatened." "right?" "So you think it's fine if she works for Zack?" "maybe." "he is much more attractive than Leonard." "But that's gonna be true of a lot of guys she works for." "but she also used to sleep with Zack." "Again..." "I would never let Howard work with an ex." "you wouldn't trust him?" "I wouldn't trust her." "He's thin and sexy like a Jewish greyhound." "that-that is the sexiest dog." "And I'd like to think Howie wouldn't take a job." "'Cause he's scared of you?" "Terrified." "Yeah." "this isn't cool." "Thank you." "I disagree." "independent woman." "the more she'll push back." "So you think it's okay? might as well get it over with." "What are you doing?" "I'm returning this stuff to Howard. we'd give it to a homeless clown." "What happened to learning the unicycle?" "it was dumb." "all cycles are dumb." "too." "it is." "I'd wear cargo pants." "is it possible that you just give up?" "Are you calling me a quitter?" "if you honestly..." "This conversation is over." "His mother warned me." "Everybody warned me." "he warned me." "Hey." "Hi." "That doesn't seem to be where I shine." "How about I just give you one of these?" "we can have a reasonable conversation and I won't get mad." "and I don't like it now." "sorry." "Yeah." "just come here." "I get me working with Zack is weird and I don't want you to be uncomfortable." "thanks." "And I don't want you to be stuck at a job you don't like." "Then what do we do?" "but if you really want" "I'll find a way to deal with it. and..." "I'm just gonna stay where I'm at for now." "you're-you're unhappy there I'll just..." "I'll suck it up." "it's okay. like I'm being selfish and holding you back." "What?" "Say something." "that is pretty annoying." "I made you tea." "Thank you." "I'm sorry I called you a quitter." "I stopped being upset about that." "the irony is not lost on me." "What are you reading?" "This article says the peak age for making a nobel prize-winning discovery is 40." "So?" "So I'm running out of time." "you're a brilliant man." "The best years of your life are still ahead of you." "you're sweet on me. maybe you should consider spending a little less time with video games and comic books." "Hey!" "I thought you were sweet on me." "let's say you never win a nobel prize." "Let's say you spend your life doing solid scientific research surrounded by friends and loved ones not for what you've accomplished but for who you are as a man." "Wouldn't that be a life well-lived?" "You're so cute." "I'm gonna go learn how to walk on stilts." "So many warnings." "are you sure about this?" "Absolutely." "I just want you to be happy." "And maybe a little turned on about how selfless I'm being." "what's up?" "so I've been thinking about it and I want to take the job." "bad news." "When my fiancée found out that I was offering a job she said it was a stupid idea and threw a shoe at me." "so there's no job?" "just a little bump on my forehead." "thanks anyway." "Bye." "his fiancée thought the idea of us working together was stupid." "I was wrong." "Aren't you gonna say anything?" "Not if I want to be doing this later." "I didn't know you were home." "Where you been?" "I went to see your mom." "where were you?" "your mom's." "Why? I got to wondering what cool hobbies you had as a kid." "Oh." "What'd she say?" "She didn't say much of anything." "But she said a lot!" "remember me? she's from south Carolina." "I can't believe you made fun of me all these years while you were a closeted ventriloquist." "it's not like I wanted to be a ventriloquist." "I was in beauty pageants and I needed a talent that the other contestants were pregnant." "since you enjoyed maybe we should throw this little lady in the wood chipper." "No!" "And the little lady has a name." "Which is?" "Tammy Jo St. cloud." "Tammy Jo St. cloud." "and I'm a dork for juggling." "you're not a dork." "You're a clown. you'll make him feel bad. what reason he got to feel good?" "very funny." "25 years." "back when his haircut was fashionable." "put her away." "I don't think so." "you marry me." "We all family now." "you're freaking me out." "Don't be that way. we can have us a ménage à trois." "Ooh!" "I'm doing it." "I'm doing it." "I'm tall and I'm doing it!" "man."