"Deep in the heart of Africa is a place no man has ever entered." "A place that belongs to the lion, the elephant and the ape." "A place known as the Bukuvu." "Travellers flying overhead can only glimpse at its many marvels:" "its sparkling rivers... its lush veldts, its billowy cloud formations.... and its hidden mountains." " Never fear, my friends." " George!" " George!" " All was not lost." " George!" "Scraped and boo-booed, they searched high and low... but they never recovered their most precious cargo." "George, George George of the Jungle" "Strong as he can be" "Watch out for that tree" "George, George George of the Jungle" "Lives a life that's free" "Watch out for that tree" "When he gets in a scrape he makes his escape" "With help from his friend an ape named Ape" "And his elephant Shep can fetch a log" "He's man's best friend He's George's dog" "He's George, George George of the Jungle" "Strong as he can be" "Watch out for that tree" "Hear him holler swing and sing" "All the animals come to the jungle king" "George, George George of the Jungle" "George, George George of the Jungle" "So grab a vine and swing in time" "If you smack a tree just pay no mind" "Like George, George George of the Jungle" "Strong as he can be" "Watch out for that tree" "Watch out for that-- Bang!" "Ooh!" "Tree" "George, George George of the Jungle" "Watch out for that tree" "Twenty-five years later, the bouncing baby boy... has grown into a swinging jungle king." "He is swift." "He is strong." "He is sure." "He is smart." "He is unconscious." "Meanwhile, 43 vines away..." "George's kingdom was being threatened by a terrifying intruder." "Hi, everybody." "Me again." "Third day in Mbwebwe." "Look at this incredible" " Banyan tree." " Banyan tree." "And look what's in it." "Could you die?" "And over here... is the outhouse, which you don't want to see, believe me." "By the way, Betsy, thank you so much for those moist towelettes." "They've been a lifesaver." "And these are the wonderful porters." "Wave, guys." "And this is our guide, Mr Kwame." "Without him, we would be lost." "Hi." "This is great." " And this is Lyle." " Hello, Bujumburans." " What are you doing here?" " What kind of greeting is that to give your fiance?" " Aren't you happy to see me?" " Yeah, of course I am." "The jungle loves you." "You're beautiful." " How did you find me?" " Well, I just hired the two best trackers in the business." "Ah, I'm chafing, Max." "Ah, yeah, I'm chafing big time." "Didn't I tell you not to wear 20 pounds of black leather in the jungle?" " Didn't I tell ya?" " Ah." "Cotton, I said." "Cotton breathes." "Take my things to the lady's tent and shake a leg." "Later that night, Lyle Van de Groot lost no time in making arrangements..." "to whisk his wayward fiancee back home." "All right, I'll take it, I'll take it." "Nairobi Hilton." "They can airlift us there in two hours." "Pillows, okay?" "Wait a second." "I'm losing you." "Bad reception here." "Okay, I've got you back." "No, wait!" "I'm losing you!" "My batteries are dead!" "No!" "Doody!" "I don't want to go anyway, Lyle." "Tomorrow we're gonna.... climb the mountain where the big apes are." "Don't you wanna see them?" "Only if they can shake a good gin martini without bruising it." "Hiyo!" "Me and Thor here would be happy to help you and the lady up the mountain, Mr Van de Groot." " Yeah." " With Mr Kwame leading the way, of course." "If you don't mind me saying so, the apes... are supposed to be a fascinating sight, especially that white ape." "White ape?" "What's that?" "Ask Mr Kwame." "I bet he can tell you." " It is only a native legend." " Could you please tell us?" "The people say he is over seven feet tall... with the strength of a lion." "When the moon is full and the air is sweet... he wanders alone through the jungle... piercing the silence of the valley with his mournful call." "Now, some say he is thirsty for blood." "Others say he is calling for the mate that he longs for... but will never find." "By day, he rules the entire Bukuvu from the top of the mountain." "But by night" "He and Bigfoot run the candy counter at the Bukuvu Cineplex." "Now playing on all 14 screens:" "Planet of the Apes." "Bigfoot?" "Max, that'd be worth a lot more than any white" " Ursula, what are we doing here?" " Lyle, I came all this way" "Okay, okay." "The things I do for you." "Looks like we're on, fellows." "As the sun rose over Ape Mountain... its agitated inhabitants sent an urgent message to George by bongo-gram... warning the jungle king that intruders were close afoot." "Ooh." "Lyle, listen." "What was that?" "Could be the mating call of the white ape." "Huh." "White ape." "Sounds like a drink." "Uh, yes, bartender." "I'll have two Black Russians and a white ape." "A drink the venal Van de Groot would be begging to imbibe... if he only knew how near the white ape was at that very moment... flying through the foliage, surveying the scenery, cruising in... for a closer look and swinging on through the trees with effortless ease." "Ow!" "And so, onward and upward the tired trekkers trudged... on feverish footsies over perilous paths." "When they finally beheld the mighty Ape Mountain, they reacted with awe." " Aww." " I said "awe." A-W-E." " Ooh!" " That's better." "Single file on the bridge." "Step very cautiously." "It is full of rotten planks." "One false move, you could fall over." "Then you will have a very long time to wave goodbye." "Don't you worry, peanut." "I was on a bridge like this in Maui." "It was steady as a rock." "See?" "Hey!" "S-Stop!" "Stop that!" "Stop that!" "What th" "Yee-haw!" " I got you." " No!" "Don't worry." "Nobody dies in this story." "They just get really big boo-boos." "What did I tell you?" "You know, they shouldn't let inexperienced guides like that on these treks." "Did you see the look that guy just gave me?" "Probably saying I'm the biggest jerk they've ever seen in their lives." "Probably trying to think of something evil to do to me." "If they turn on us, we're never gonna get home." "It's up to me to make the peace." "I'm going in." "Gentlemen." "Cigar, cigarette?" "Okay, gifts from America." " Hey, hey." " I give you a cigar, you give me some of your lands." "All right." "A first contact has been made." "Ready, aim" "There you go, my man." "Huh?" "You like magic fire?" "Do ya?" "Well, get a load of this." "There you go." "Magic picture." "Yet another gift from America." "Here you go." "You're welcome." "Thirty-five millimetre." "Translation, please." "He says that he likes your magic pictures... but he prefers the resolution of the Leica 35 millimetre transparencies." "He also says your lens is dirty, but he has the equipment to clean it for you." "Well, tell him to clean this while he's at it." " Come on, let's go." " Where?" "Find you an ape, so we can get the heck outta here." "Lyle, we can't go into the jungle alone." "We could get lost out here." "It's my job to get you what you want." "You want a double decaf latte with mocha sprinkles... you will get a double decaf latte with mocha sprinkles." "You want a white ape, I'll get you a white ape." "Here, monkey, monkey, monkey." "Here, gorilla, gorilla." "Come on." " Don't move." " You mean I actually found one?" "It worked?" " God, that scared me." " Scared me, too." "I'm gonna go get help." "You wait here." "Oh, no." "Here, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty." "When lion brush last?" "Don't tickle." "Don't ti" " No" "Rubber tree always good for clothesline." "Upsy, kitty." "George not even trying hard." "Flying pile driver." "Havin' some fun now." "Bad kitty!" " That close one, huh?" " Watch out for that tree!" "Huh?" "Oops." "Funny-looking fella." "White ape." "Y" " Y" " U-Ursula!" "Ursu" " Wha" "Ursula, I found your scrunchie." "Go away!" "It was horrible." "It was-- 400-pound white ape man." "The white ape has my girlfriend." "I held him off as long as I could." "Blood everywhere." "The white ape-- my girlfriend." "He" " He weighs 400 pounds." "The white ape got my girlfriend!" "The white ape got" "Help!" "Help!" "Man needs help!" "After a night of feverish fantasies... the perfectly permed heiress, Ursula Stanhope... awoke to the melodious music of the Bukuvu bird life, and found herself... venturing forth in search of that defender of the innocent... protector of the weak, and all-around good guy..." "George of the Jungle." "But that's not who she saw first." "What!" "Get away!" "Get away!" "Get away!" " Hello." "Oop!" " Oh, dear." "Feeling better, fella?" "Okay." "It's that dream, then." "I'm still having that psycho dream." "Hello." " Oh." "Oh." " Oh, no, no!" "Don't worry!" "Ape friend." " Ape make your breakfast." " What does it want?" "What does it want?" ""It" wants its Physician's Desk Reference, if you don't mind." "Unless you'd rather die of dengue fever, of course." "That is very funny!" "I thought I heard the monkey talk." "But that is totally understandable, right?" "I mean, why wouldn't an ape read textbooks?" "And why wouldn't I find myself in a tree house... with room service and a Tarzan wannabe, wearing a, um, um" " What do you call that thing?" " Butt flap." "Right." "Ohh" "Ooh!" "Bit of a shock, I suppose." "Yes." "Fever." "Cold compress." "Dab her lightly, George." ""Talking monkey."" "That's the ticket." "Good." "Huh?" "Somethin' funny about this fella." "She's not a "fella," George." "She's a woman, the female of your species." "You mean Ape and George not brothers?" "Well, in a sense, we are related." "After all, we're both members of the primate family." "Primate family." "Brothers." "I suppose one might claim that there would" "Mommy, make that monkey stop talking." "Perhaps I should refrain from speaking around her, as it seems to upset her." " What your name?" " Ursula." "Ursula Stanhope." " Who are you?" " George." "George Primate." "And that brother Ape." "Ape Primate." "Ah!" "Oh, um" "Okay, I'm gonna pass out again now." "Bye." "It's a sissy white ape." "I would've choked the life out of him... except that he had two of his lion buddies jump me from behind." "So in this version, there are two lions with the white ape?" "A minute ago, there was only one." "H-Hey, the important thing, Kwame, is that I was outnumbered." "Absolutely." "Ursula!" "Hi." "When I woke up this morning, I remembered about that lion... and I know you saved me yesterday." " And I just wanted to say thank you." " Ah!" "Ooh!" "Now that I'm feeling better, I realize the others must think I'm cat food by now." "And I don't want my fian-- this guy that I was with-- to worry." "So, so I should probably go and look for them... and I was wondering if you could help me." "Uh" " Ursula want to go already?" "Okay, George help." "Get trusty doggy." "Oh, you have a dog." "That's great." "Doggy will help find friends." "George call Shep." "Shep!" "Here, boy!" "Come on!" "Here, boy." "Shep!" "Here comes Shep." "Come on, Shep!" "Come on, boy!" "That a boy!" "Want to play?" "Come on!" "Come on!" "Come on!" "Good boy." "Come on, boy!" "Come on!" "Good boy, Shep!" "Come on!" "Whoa, whoa, whoa!" "Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop!" "Sit." "Sit." "Good boy!" "Good obedience training." " George trained from pup." " That's your dog?" "This Shep, George's big, grey, peanut-lovin' poochie." "Good boy, Shep!" "Good boy." "Good boy, Shep." "Good boy." " That's a good boy." "Wanna shake?" " Huh?" " Good doggy." "Be nice." " Shep." "Shake?" "George." "George." "George!" " See?" "Shep shake." " Oh, George." "He's a big poochie, all right." "Does he fetch?" "Here, boy." "Come on, boy." "Want a stick?" "Want a stick?" "Where's the stick?" "Where's the stick, Shep?" "Here it is." "Here, boy." "Fetch!" "Come on, boy!" "Run, run!" "Run, boy!" "Atta boy!" "Good boy." "Go on, boy!" "Go get it!" "Where'd he go?" " Wow!" " No, not in the roses!" "Ungawa, Shep!" "And so, with the help of the jungle king's big, grey... peanut-loving poochie, George and Ursula set out... on a desperate search to find her fianc-- uh, that guy she was with" "Lyle!" "Lyle!" " Ursula!" "Ursula!" " while he desperately searched for her." "But by the end of the afternoon her desperation had dimmed..." "That was fantastic!" "and she had given up all hope of everything... except enjoying the jungle king's company from her precarious perch atop his faithful doggy." " So, where are we going now?" " To find Tookie-Tookie bird for jungle news." "Tookie-Tookie bird." "I love that." "Later they rested, while the tired tusker teethed on a" "Wait a second." "The dog bone is too much." "Lose it." "That's better." "Bongo-gram." "What could it mean?" "Tookie-Tookie!" "Tookie say little monkey in trouble." "George investigate." "Tookie-Tookie!" "What happened?" " Oh!" " Where other monkeys?" "Where?" "There?" "How many?" "That many?" "Lots of monkey." "Then what happened?" "Tell George more." "No!" "Little monkey say other monkeys call little monkey "runt."" " Not let little monkey play games." " Poor thing." "Hi, monkey." "H-Hi." "You okay?" "No." "Don't cry." "Huh." "Little monkey like Ursula." " What did you tell him?" " Just watch." "Uh-oh!" "Meanwhile, back at a really big footprint in the mud" "Let me through." "What's happening?" "This footprint does not belong to any of my men." "See?" "There's your proof." "The white ape does exist." "Now all we have to do is track down the girl and the ape's in the bag." "N-No, seriously." "I don't know if I want to do this again." "Ursula need to relax when it come to vine swinging, for George." "Swing, swing, swing." "Come on." "Want George of Jungle to tell you special vine-swinging secret?" "Fine." "Tell me all your secrets." "George's secrets." "Hm!" "There's the shortest book ever written." " Oh." " Wrap it around your sock for special George of Jungle foot lock." " Now, ready to try again?" " No." " Like this, Ursula!" " He flies through the air with the greatest of ease" "Our daring young man on the flying trapeze" " Look, no hands!" " His movements so graceful All girls he could please" "And with love he is swinging away" " He flies through the air with the greatest of ease" " That's pretty good." " George, watch out for that..." " Our daring young man on the-- tree." "Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the king of the jungle." "Where the devil is my egg timer?" " Tookie-Tookie." " Tookie!" "I'm fed up with this felonious fowl stealing everything in the kitchen." " Miserable creature." " Tookie-Tookie." "George, what on earth are you doing?" "George just feel like looking a little special today, that all." "Possibly there is a stirring of special feelings within you?" "Uh-huh." "George having stirring of special feelings right now." "I see." " Good thing she same species, huh?" " Yes." "Ape?" "Tell George how to make Ursula George's mate." "Please?" "Brother?" "First, command her attention by bulging out your cheeks and pursing your lips." " Show George." " All right." "Just like this." "Watch." "Even puffier." "Next, display your interest by drawing back your upper lip... jutting your jaw forward and exposing your teeth." " Like this?" "Like this?" "Right?" " Now, throw a handful of leaves in the air... then leap about and hoot in a dominant fashion." "Like this, Ape?" "Good." "She won't be able to resist that." "Ursula!" "Gosh, this trail's really rough." ""Ursula!" "Ursula!"" " Hey, come back here." " They're not abandoning us, are they?" "They are threatening." "If you don't mind, Kwame..." "I have a knack for getting the most out of my employees." " Do you mind if I address the porters?" " They only speak Swahili." "Well, I just happen to have a Swahili phrase book." "Be my guest." "I think our troubles are over." "Tell them I'll pay 50 zamoles a man if they'll help me capture the white ape and bring him back alive." "Alive?" "After he, uh" "Well, he pulled Ursula's scrunchie off, we know that much." " 50 zamoles a man." "What do you say?" " They only speak Swahili." "One hundred zamoles a man and you got a deal." " Hey, wait a second." " Done." "Meanwhile, at a very big and expensive waterfall set..." "Ursula was amazed that she was lost in the wilderness with a jungle man." "Here I am, lost in the wilderness with a jungle man." "I should be terrified that no one will ever find me, but I'm not." " Thank you." " For what?" "For this adventure." "It's what I've always wanted." "King of jungle only here to help." "Mr Boombastic" "The awesome, boombastic romantic, fantastic lover" "Sade" "Mr Lover-Lover" " Mr Lover-Lover" " George, are you okay?" " Mr Lover-Lover" " Your face is swelling up like" " Ah, Mr Lover-Lover" " Is something in my teeth?" "Okay." "Listen, um..." "I'm gonna step outside for a little air, okay?" " Are you sure you threw the leaves?" " Yeah, George threw leaves." "Well, cheer up, old boy." "I spent all day... poring through every book in the library... and finally I found this." "It's positively packed full of human courtship rituals." "Listen." ""What's a nice girl like you... doing in a plane like this?"" "Go for it." " Hi." " Hi." "What" " Oh." " Did you fight a crocodile for this?" " Oh." "No, George not fight." "Crocodile have toothache." "George pull tooth." "Crocodile give to George after." "Gift." "Good juju." " Juju?" " Good luck." "Protection." "I have something like that too." "Want to see?" "It's not worth anything." "I found it in a cereal box when I was ten years old." "It's my good luck." "My juju." " Can l" " Oh." "I want you to have that." "For George?" "That's the nicest present George ever get." "Thank you." " All right, man." " Yeah." "It dancing' time." " Ursula, wanna dance?" " Oh, no." "Thanks." " I'd be too embarrassed." " What mean "embarrassed"?" "That's when you feel stupid in front of other people." "You know, like they're judging you." " You've never felt that?" " No." "There are no other people." " Good point." " George not feel stupid." "Sometimes George smash into tree, and sometime" "Sometimes George fall out of tree house, but not feel stupid." "Something good always happen after." "George just lucky, I guess." "One day I looked up and there you were" "No people here to look stupid for." "Just George." "Like a simple question looking for an answer" "Now I am a whale Listening to some inner call" "Swimming blindly to throw myself upon your shore" "What if I don't find you when I have landed" "Would you leave me here to die on your shore, stranded" "Think I know why the dog howls at the moon" "I think I know why the dog howls at the moon" "I sing dela, dela" "When I'm with you" "I burn for you" "I've been waiting for you all my life" "Hoping for a miracle" "I've been waiting day and night Day and night" "I've been waiting for you all my life Waiting for redemption" "I've been waiting day and night I burn for you" "And so it came to pass that George of the Jungle... attended his first co-ed dance." "But his rapturous rendezvous with the urban heiress was to be short-lived... as the very next morning, Kwame and his men were drawing dangerously close." "That is, dangerously close to shoving a coconut up Lyle's sleeping bag." "That's it!" "I've had it!" "I am the richest, smartest, handsomest guy here, so I get to go first." "There's an elephant around here." "Bad guy falls in poop." "Classical element of physical comedy." "Now comes the part where we throw our heads back and laugh." "Ready?" "Ready." "Those were nowhere near properly digested." "In case anybody's wondering, I'm okay." "Have you cleaned my lighter yet?" "Come on, come on." "That was Ursula." "Did you hear that?" "She's alive." "Ursula" "Why don't you bring on a brass band while you're at it, you nit?" "We gotta be stealthy here, right?" "Stealthy." "Right." "Party time." "We'll take it from here." "Get off!" "It's him!" "Hey, it's a dude." "I told you there weren't no white ape." "You dragged me all the way up here to look at some guy in a leopard-skin bikini." " If I wanted to see that, I could've stayed in Miami." " Wait a second." "The white ape is a man?" "Let me at him." "Hang on." "Could you, uh, see if he's dangerous?" "Here, boy!" "Where's my little doggy?" "I've got a feeling he's not." "Okay." "I'll go first." "If he gets aggressive, I'll scare him off with this." " I thought that was a lighter." " It is a lighter, but he doesn't know that." "Ursula, it's me." "Lyle." "Your man." "I've come for you." "Are you okay?" "Ursula!" " Lyle, what are you doing here?" " Thank God." "Mushy bear, you're safe." "I don't believe it!" "Oh, I was so afraid for your safety." "Lyle!" "Don't get all smoochy and disgusting with me, okay?" "I remember what you did when that lion came." "What are you talking about?" "I was fighting the lion the whole time." "You were just so terrified you don't remember." " I remember George, that's who I remember." " George?" "Look over there." "What do you see?" " An elephant." " But what has the elephant got?" " Fleas." " Ivory!" "White gold." "Listen, Ursula, I have no idea what you're talking about." "Can we just go?" " George!" " Ursula!" "Ready... aim..." "Run, Shep!" "Run for your life!" "Did that monkey just speak?" "That monkey just spoke." " I knew it." " He talked." " Shoot it now." " Huh?" "With the tranquillizer gun, idiot!" "That ape's worth a fortune." "No!" "Stop, or I'll shoot!" " No!" " No!" "George!" "Whew!" "Okay, kids, let's settle down and review the important information." "Lyle is a big doofus." "Poor George was really shot... but can't die because, let's face it, he's the hero." "So, the naturally concerned and preternaturally wealthy Ursula Stanhope... whisked George off on a private jet bound for the country of his birth... where he would get the finest medical treatment available." "I'm gonna get you the finest medical treatment available." "As for those pesky, pernicious and putrid poachers, Max and Thor... they awaited their fate in the Bujumbura jail." "You two, out." " Acquitted?" " No, deported." "Meanwhile, Kwame and his men faced the next-to-impossible task... of picking out George's assailant from a line-up of the usual suspects." "Too short." "Too sweaty." "Wait a second!" "That's the guy." "That's the guy who shot him." " I never forget a face." " Me?" "No, Max." "Forget about it." "I do not want to listen to any more of your ideas." "You'll like this one." "We're gonna steal Georgie-boy's talking ape." " You mean, back up the mountain?" " Thor, that ape is our ticket... out of poaching and into show business." " No." " Think about it." "We got a talking ape." "What do Siegfried and Roy have?" " Sequins?" " Exactly." "Get ready for room service, mate, and girls." "We're gettin' our ape and going to Vegas." "By next weekend, we'll be headlining at the Tropicana." " Nobody is gonna stop us." " Right." "George of the Jungle must be halfway to Frisco by now." "Ah, but the plotting poachers were only half correct... for at that very moment, our handsome hero was all the way to San Francisco." " Yes, Mother, I'm safe." " You're sure you didn't catch dengue fever?" "No, Mother, I did not catch dengue fever." " Well, how's your temperature?" " Normal." " Colour of your tongue?" " Pink." " What about your hmm-hmm?" " Regular." "Now, Lyle." "How is my darling future son-in-law?" "Lyle is" "He's happy to be home, Mom." "Could you hold on one second?" "George, please don't call any animals into the car, okay?" "Thanks." "Mom?" "You there?" "Mom, hold on." "I'm losing you again." "George." "George." "No." "Are you paying any attention?" "This is important." "No." "I know it's important." "Geo-Geo-- George." "George." "Hot, hot, hot, hot, hot." "This faster than riding big, great, peanut-loving poochie Shep." "Love you, Mom." "Gotta go." "Bye." "Watch out for that" "Ooh!" "So, what do you think of my jungle?" "This very high tree house." "Good place to call friends from." "Sound carry." "Oh, no, no, no, no, no." "The neighbours." " Give it a rest!" " We're ten storeys up, George." "I don't think the animals can make it up here." "Oh, sure." "George know that." "George know that." "You must be tired." "I'll, um... make the couch up for you to sleep in the living room." "Oh, no." "George sleep here in tree house." "Okay." "Good night." "Sleep sweet, Ursula." "Sleep sweet, George." "Ooh." "Well, Ursula's fiance is in prison... and there's a jungle man sleeping on her balcony." " She could use a best friend right now." " Hi." " Hi." " I got here as fast as I could." " Where is he?" " He's under the waterf-- He's in the shower." "Not any more." " George." " Oh." "Bad waterfall." "First water get hot, then George slip on this strange, yellow rock." "Oh!" " Hi." "George of Jungle." " Charmed, I'm sure." "George." "Um, take this big book." "Whoop!" "Cover the booty, get into decent clothes." " Sorry, Betsy." " Bye." " No problem." " Okay." " I see why they made him king of the jungle." "Betsy, I am in trouble here, okay?" "How am I gonna tell my parents that my fiance's in an African jail... and that I brought home a jungle man?" "You are totally stuck on George, huh?" "No, I am not!" "Can I have him then?" "Okay, let's think." "Think, think, think." "Think, think, think, think, think, think, think, think." "What am I gonna do about tomorrow?" "Tomorrow is your engagement party, and unless they give day passes... out of Bujumbura Jail, Lyle is not likely to attend." "So tell 'em the truth and don't worry about it and take George." " He can back up your story." "Right?" " Yeah." "All right." "So I'll tell my dad first thing in the morning." "Make it second thing." "First thing, I suggest you buy jungle man some clothes." "Nice butt flap." "Being of a conservative mind regarding gender roles..." "Ursula Stanhope wasted no time... in taking George of the Jungle to a fine haberdasher." " And this is Neiman Marcus." " Whoo!" "They have big, shiny cave." "Hello." "Would you like to sample our new fragrance?" "Thank you." "Later, in the men's department, after discovering his long-lost brothers... the jungle king was pleased to find he looked pretty good in Armani." "Pretty darn good." "Watch out, man!" "Why everyone run around crazy, like antelope in mating season?" "They're just trying to make a living." "It's-- different kind of jungle here, George." "It's survival of the fittest." "Dog eat dog." " "Dog eat dog"" " Dog eat dog here?" " No, that's not what I meant." "George never bring Shep here." "Uh-uh." "Never." "Every story gets to have a really big coincidence, and here's ours." "Who should see them walking down the street but Ursula's meddling mother?" "Uh, yes, uh, Lyle Van de Groot, please." " I'm sorry." "He's not back from Africa." " He's not?" "No." "I'm sorry." "Meanwhile, back on Ape Mountain..." "George's friends were going positively ga-ga from missing the jungle king." "No!" "Oh, look at this." "It's ruined." "Ruined!" "Shep, come here at once." "Come on!" "How many times do I have to tell you?" "My violin bow is not a chew toy!" "Bad dog!" "And you!" "Out of my sight, you feathered fool." "No!" "Not on the tree house!" "I'll smack you" "Ursula, it's Mother." "Pick up the phone... and tell me who that man was I saw you strolling with today." "And where is Lyle?" "We must discuss the engagement party." "I know you're there, Ursula." "Pick up the phone and tell me why you have been avoiding me." "Pick up the phone!" "Well, I think that was an overreaction." "Just make sure you stay here while I'm at work... and you can watch TV and eat and relax." "And I'll be back as soon as I can." "Just stay here." ""Stay here"?" "George is king of the jungle." "No four walls built by modern man can contain him." "Not true." "George have every intention of doing exactly what Ursula say." " Really?" "Is that so?" " For a while." "And at that very moment, Betsy and Ursula were on their way to break the news about Lyle to her father." " Good luck, kiddo." " Surprise!" "Ursula, welcome home, sweetheart... and happy engagement day." "Chock Full O' Nuts" "The heavenly coffee" " The coffee that brings you together." " When you're in love" "Now George understand." "George get coffee, then Ursula want George." "Java-java-java-java, java-java-java-java, java-java-java-java." "So the low has moved offshore." "High pressure's built a ridge in." "The weather is absolutely gorgeous." " If you're not outside, you oughta be!" " Who, me?" " I mean you." " Oh." "Okay!" "And so, jazzed on java..." "George of the Jungle made his way into the city by the bay." "Whoo!" "Quickly taking to tourism, the jungle king enjoyed... the first drive-through dining of his life... and strolled the city streets until he found something so scintillating..." " he had to say:" " Ooh!" "But nothing excited the jungle king more... than the sight of the biggest rope bridge he had ever seen." "Ooh." "Yeah." " Help!" " Ooh." "Somebody help!" " To swing or not to swing?" " Help!" "Swing." "As the king of the jungle quickly calculated the angle and velocity of his next big swing..." "Ursula felt like jumping off a bridge herself." "I feel so guilty." "I don't know what I'm going to do." "First thing:" "I suggest you tell your father what you came here to tell him." " Hi, Daddy." " Hi, honey." "Take a look at this." "The most remarkable thing is happening on the Bay Bridge." "...where strong winds have carried him to the Bay Bridge." "Our own Valerie Devlin is live on the scene." "Valerie?" "Thank you, Terilyn." "We do have a breaking story..." " at the Bay Bridge..." " Help!" " where a parasailor dangles..." " helplessly, 500 feet above the water." " Please!" "Hurry up!" "Help!" "There's no word on who this lone daredevil is." " That's George." " He appears to have some kind of rope in his hand." " He might be preparing to swing on it." " I gotta go." "Excuse me, sir." "I have to get on this boat." "Hey, fella." "George of Jungle." "Need a vine?" "Hey, thanks a lot, man." "G-Get me out of this stuff, huh?" " Thanks, man." " Oh, don't mention it." "King of jungle only here to help!" " George!" " Ursula!" "Ow!" "Watch out for that" " George!" " Ursula!" " What are you doing?" "Are you okay?" " You just saved that man's life!" " George just lucky, I guess." "Ooh." "This coffee stuff really work good." "...one of the most daring rescues ever recorded live on television." "This is Valerie Devlin reporting to you from under the Bay Bridge." "Back to you, Terilyn." "You know, they say the city by the bay is the most romantic in the world... and it looks as though there might be a little romance unfolding under the Bay Bridge." " We'll be back in a moment." " Ohh." "Meanwhile, back in the jungle" "There's five stinkin' apes out there." "Which one are we takin' to Vegas?" " The one who's playing chess." " Checkmate." " Yes!" " Sweet dreams, banana breath." " Grab him!" "Tookie." "Go find George." "Tookie-Tookie." "Thor." "Let's get him in the cage while he's still under." "Come on." "As the pesky poachers grunted and groaned... pushing and pulling the ponderous primate along... the trusty Tookie-Tookie bird was already winging to the rescue... making a bird-line for San Francisco... where George of the Jungle was trying to give the heiress Ursula... the courage to face her parents... by helping her discover the juju within." " Make jungle call." "Then you'll feel brave." " No." "I can't." " Come on." "Big breath." "Here." "Support voice." " N-No." "No, no, no." " Ursula, please?" "Pl" " Please?" " No, no!" " I can't do it." " Big." "Brave." "Queen of jungle." "Come on, Ursula." " Wow." " Not bad for beginner." " Hi, Ursula." " Emboldened with jungle juju..." " Hi." "Ursula Stanhope went inside to break the news to her parents, who took it extremely well." "Mother, Daddy, I love you both very much." "I have something very important to tell you... and I hope you'll understand." " I don't want to marry Lyle any more." " We understand, dear." "Just kidding." " The young Miss Stanhope proceeded to spill the beans..." " So, anyway, I went to the jungle-- very quickly... until she got to the important part at the end." "Then Lyle shot him." "So Lyle is in jail and George is with me... and I don't want to marry Lyle any more." "I knew it." "It's that swinging man from the bridge." "I saw you smooching on TV." " Mother, we weren't smooching" " How could you do this to me?" "Don't you realize the calibre of people who are going to be here?" " Calm down, Beatrice, and let her say" " I thought we would be introducing them... to Lyle Van de Groot, not some wild man you found in the jungle." "Beatrice, this is supposed to be her wedding, not yours." " So?" " Beatrice, I know you're upset... and so am I, but we can't force her to marry someone against her will." " Why not?" " Mom." "Dad." "I'm ready to go out there and apologize to everybody and tell them what really happened." "Absolutely not!" "As far as I'm concerned, you-- you caught one of those viruses." "Yes, one of those dreadful jungle viruses... that get nice girls all confused." "And if Lyle survives that awful jail, you will simply have to kiss and make up." "As for this evening, we will hold our heads high and we will carry on." "Now, darling, where is that charming young friend of yours?" " Well, where is he?" " I don't know." "He's around here someplace." " Well, find him." "We haven't got all day." "Oh, Ursula, look!" " Oh, great!" "How wonderful!" "And look at Richard's exquisite figurines of you and darling Lyle." "George, watch out for that" "Mom." "Dad." "This is George." "Hello, Mr and Mrs Ursula." "How do you do?" "It is always such a pleasure to see you, Mr Mayor." "And, you know, it's so nice to get away from City Hall... and be around some normal people for a change." "Well, we are perfectly normal, I assure you-- in an exceptional way, of course." "Of course." "A-And what about this guy, Lyle?" "You know, I'd really like to meet the man you deem good enough to marry your daughter." "Oh, well, unfortunately Lyle is busy at the moment... uh, tending to some legal affairs." " Some pate, Mr Mayor?" " You know, I never touch that stuff." " Oh." " I had a lovely time." " Would you excuse us, please?" " Excuse me, Dr Goldblum." "It's 7:30." "Do you know where your jungle man is?" "So this is what you were doing in the jungle." "Clever girl." "Yeah." "Um, he swung me on vines and fed me coconut milk." " I knew it." " He's not a real meat loaf, is he?" "No." "I mean, he's not brainy... in that doctor, lawyer, banker way... but he has something else." " He has a" " Sensual intelligence." ""Sensual intelligence."" " Wow." " Oh, my God." "What is it with chicks and horses, huh?" "George, how are you this evening?" "Pretty sharp threads there, uh" " George, right?" " Yeah." "Where're you based?" " The jungle." "I hear ya." "We cut our teeth in New York also." "Eh, you considering a position with Stanhope?" "That could be fruitful." "Fruitful?" "This place not so fruitful." "Nobody here have big coconuts." "George." "I wa" " Oh." "Would you mind stepping outside with me" "Thank you so much-- for just a moment?" "Sure." " Hello, Beatrice." " Hello, Ella." "Well, we haven't been friends for very long, George... but I already think I know something about you." " Oh?" " You are in love with my daughter." " Oh, Mrs Ursula not so dumb." " George." "My concern, however, is that Ursula seems to reciprocate your feelings... and that does present a problem to me." "You see, you and Ursula together... would be unbefitting her social stature." "You see?" "Let me put it in a way you might understand." "Where you come from... zebras marry zebras and leopards marry leopards." "Stripes with stripes, spots with spots." "Well, Ursula is a stripe and you are a spot... one which I intend to have removed as soon as possible." "So you no want Ursula to love George." "I would rather have my tongue nailed to this table every morning at breakfast." " That hurt." " Not as much as you will if you do anything... to screw up my daughter's marriage to Lyle Van de Groot." "When Lyle returns, this wedding will proceed as planned." "If you do anything to upset that..." "I will remove your reason for wearing a loin cloth." "Steak tartare, Mrs Stanhope?" "Oh, no, no." "Thank you." "I've had quite enough protein for today." "Have a pleasant evening, Mr Jungle." "Tookie?" "Tookie!" "Tookie." "George so happy to see Tookie." "Ape kidnapped?" "Ape ape-napped?" "George save Ape!" "Ursula." "Well, of course he went back to the jungle." "Where else would go-- the Hague?" "But why would he leave without saying goodbye?" "Well, personally I think he acted rather sensibly." "Showed good character." "He understands that he belongs there, you belong here." "It's really all a question of stripes and spots." "What?" "Oh, no." "You got to him." "Mother, what did you say?" "I simply said that if he really cared for you... he'd leave you alone and let you get on with your life and marry Lyle." " I am not marrying Lyle, Mother." " Beatrice, perhaps we should just" "Arthur!" "Now, Ursula darling, don't be ridiculous." "There's a big difference between marriageable material and a fling in the jungle." ""A fling in the jungle"?" ""A fling in the jungle."" "Who says I had a fling in the jungle?" "You don't think you can fool your mother, do you?" "You've been head over heels for that ape ever since you brought him here." "Now, Ursula, that kind of love is fleeting." "You'll get over it." " Did you just say "love"?" " No." " You did." " Ursula." " You're right." " Don't say it." " I love him." "I'm outta here." "Ursula, you can't love him." "Arthur, say something." " Be careful out there, honey." " What?" " Goodbye, Daddy." " I love you." " Wha" " I love you, Mom." "Thank you." " Ursula" " Arthur, do something!" " What would you have me do?" " There's obviously no stopping her." " Oh, God." " Ursula!" " God, that woman's a pain in the ass." "Meanwhile, halfway across the world... another ass was feeling pain... as an ape named Ape was caged in a cage... hoping to hear the jungle king's awesome" "Hey, I'm pretty good at that-- and wondering if he would ever come." "But the motion-sick mammal needn't have moaned... for that defender of the innocent, protector of the weak... and all-around good guy George of the Jungle... was closer than he knew." "Next time George get bigger box." "Oh!" "Bad luck." " Did you hear something?" " What?" " I heard a noise." " Shut up and push!" "Oh, I think I chipped a tooth." " Oh, Thor, you're disgusting." " God, that wasn't me." "Not me." " I'm hungry." " Oh, shut up." "You've been yakking' for 2 days straight, and I'm gettin' mad enough to" "You know, you really should work on your anger." "Have you tried Brankowski's "Cage the Rage" technique?" "Don't let him get to you, Thor." "He's just an ape." "That's a fine way to talk to your meal ticket." "You keep that up, it's liable to affect my stage performance." "Give him a banana, Thor." "It won't be long now." "That's what you said yesterday." "This trail's taking us to the middle of nowhere." "The sign at the trail head said "Short cut to Ape River."" "Now, why would it say "short cut" if it wasn't a" "Wait a minute." "Maybe it's a fake, a decoy trail." "Very good, Max." "Actually, the trail is a fake." "It circles Ape Mountain six times before heading right back to the tree house." " Ohh!" "Oh, I knew we was lost." " Don't listen to him, Thor." "He's just tryin' to trick us, lead us off the short cut... so we take twice as long on the regular trail." "We're already taking twice as long!" "Are you gonna let a monkey make a monkey out of ya?" " What?" " Duh!" "Let's go." "If he tells us the short cut leads to the tree house... then that's exactly where it doesn't lead." "Ape?" " Poor ape-napped brother." " Careful." "Max, look." "We're back at the tree house." "Well, I tried, but you fellas are just too smart for me." " Oh, no!" " "Oh, no" was right, for the exhausted ape-nappers had" "Hey!" "Why don't you say something constructive for a change, like what we should do now." "Because I don't like you." "Well, I hate you, you snotty son of a" "I'll pretend I didn't hear that." "Having some fun now, hmm?" " Thor, were you fighting with the narrator?" " Well, he started it." " Did not." " You did too!" " Did not." " You did too!" " Did not!" " You did too!" " Thor, stop it!" " Ohh." "That's it." "I'm not draggin' this thing another inch." " What are you doing?" "Get back there and work." "Where are you going?" " You wretched little weasel." "Aren't you the little weasel, you big brontosaurus?" " Let's take care of him." " Huh?" "Huh?" "Whoa!" "Why didn't you come sooner?" "Why Ape have little stars around head?" "George, remember everything I taught you about Queensberry rules and fighting fair?" " Uh-huh." " Well, now's a good time to forget it." "Let's finish him off." " Oh, I can't breathe, Max." " Let it out, Thor." "Let it out." "Right, jungle boy." " Huh?" " Huh?" "Tookie-Tookie!" " Take this!" " Stop it!" "Ape!" "Get it off!" "Get it off of me, Max!" "All right!" "Shep, look out!" "Ursula?" "George good teacher." "George." "George." "I came all this way to tell you that" "Ursula talk later." "George busy now." " What?" " Fella got toucan on can." "I know." "Good show, George." "And you too, Tookie." "Oh, my hero." "Did I just say that?" " George." "Over here, George!" " Ape, sit tight." "George be right back." "Oh, I say." "Now George can talk." "What Ursula come back to say?" "Only that I know in my heart... that I really, truly" " Haven't seen the light yet." " Lyle." " Lyle?" " Yes, Lyle." "For the venal Van de Groot had escaped from the Bujumbura jail... and joined an obscure cult on the shores of Lake Tanganyika... which had empowered him with a peculiar piece of parchment." " What are you doing here?" " Surprised, my little cupcake?" "You see, I'm now an mail-order minister... ordained the Church of Celestial Power and Light, Incorporated... capable of performing legally binding marriage ceremonies anywhere." " Lyle, I'm not marrying you." " Actually, you are." " Come on, let's go." "Come along, my little African queen." " George." "Now George really mad." "George tear off your" " At ease, jungle boy." " Everybody freeze now!" "Operation completed as ordered, sir." "Thank you, Gunnar, Gunter, Hans, Jan and Phil." "No hard feelings, stone belly." "The best man won." "That's all." "I should say, the guy who brought mercenaries won." "That's all." "Okay, honey, you ready to go?" "I got a boat waiting' to take us to Bujumbura." " Come on." " George!" " Ursula." " Come on." " No!" " Don't go that way!" " Go that way." "No" " See you later." " George!" "Stop it!" "Stop it!" " Ursula!" " Lyle, let go of me." " Come on." "Come on." "Come on." "Bongo-gram!" "Work every time." "Good work, brother apes." "Now listen very carefully to George." "Let 'er rip, Shep." "Stop it!" "Stop it, Lyle!" " Come on." " Let go." "Stop it!" "You're such a jerk!" "Come on in there!" "Come here!" "You know, I forgive you, and I'm willing to give you yet another chance." "Lyle, you don't where you're go" "Where's George?" "You see?" "I told you I'd have a boat waiting." "Okay, then." "All righty." "Reverend Lyle ready to perform the ceremony." "Do you, Ursula Stanhope, take me, Lyle Van de Groot..." " to be your lawful wedded husband?" " Get a grip, Lyle." " Lyle." " Yeah, honey?" " Lyle?" " Oh, my God!" "Lyle!" "Tookie-Tookie!" "Thanks, Tookie." "This biggest swing in jungle history." "Will hurt very much, but George have to do it." " George!" " What the" " This gonna hurt." " George, watch out for that tree!" "George not feel so good." "Oh, thank God we've made it." "Say "l do," Ursula." "Ah, that's it." "We're married." "Now to look at my bride." "No!" "No!" "No!" "George, what I came here to say was that I love you." " Ursula love George?" " So much." "George love Ursula too." "And so George of the Jungle received the first kiss of his life... that came from neither elephant nor ape." "And on the following new moon..." "Ursula Stanhope finally got the simple wedding she had hoped for... as the San Francisco heiress and the king of the jungle... joined their hearts forever in wedded bliss." " The rings!" " The rings." "The rings?" "Tookie." "Tookie." "Arthur, I wish you'd do something about all these monkeys." "I feel like Jane Goodall." "Madam, I knew Jane Goodall, and you are no Jane Goodall." "Listenin' to some inner call" "Swimmin' blindly to throw myself upon your shore" "I think I know why the dog howls at the moon" "I think I know why the dog howls at the moon" "And I sing, dela, dela" "When I'm with you" "I burn for you" "I been waiting for you all my life" "Hoping for a miracle" "I been waiting day and night" "Day and night" "I been waiting for you all my life" "Waiting for redemption" "I been waiting day and night" "I burn for you" " I love you." " Good boy." "And so ends our tale of that defender of the innocent... protector of the weak and all-around good guy..." "George of the Jungle." "A noble king, his beautiful queen... and their nimble young heir to the jungle throne." "George, watch out for that" "I know what you're thinking-- How does a baby raised by an ape... grow up to be king of the jungle, find his queen... and live happily ever after?" "George just lucky, I guess." "George, George George of the Jungle" "Strong as he can be" "Watch out for that tree" "George, George George of the Jungle" "Lives a life that's free" "Wait a moment!" "Wait, wait, wait!" "Don't you want to know what happened to me?" "And now the end is near" "And so I face the final curtain" "My friends I'll say it clear" "I'll state my case Of which I'm certain" "I've lived a life that's full" "I've travelled each and every highway" " And more, much more than this" " Whoo" "I did it my way Yes!" "There were times I'm sure you knew" "When I bit off more than I could chew" "But through it all" " When there was doubt" " Doubt" "I ate it up and spit it out" "I faced it all and I stood tall" "And did it my way" "Doo, doo, doo" "George, George George of the Jungle" "Strong as he can be" "Watch out for that tree" "George, George George of the Jungle" "Lives a life that's free" "Watch out for that tree" "When he gets in a scrape he makes his escape" "With help from his friend an ape named Ape" "And his elephant Shep can fetch a log" "He's man's best friend He's George's dog" "He's George, George George of the Jungle" "Strong as he can be" "Watch out for that tree" "George, George George of the Jungle" "Friend to you and me" "Watch out for that tree" "Hear him holler Swing and sing" "All the animals come to the jungle king" "So grab a vine and swing in time" "If you slam a tree just pay no mind" "Like George, George George of the Jungle" "George, George George of the Jungle" "George, George George of the Jungle" "George, George George of the Jungle" "George, George George of the Jungle" "George, George George of the Jungle" "George, George George of the Jungle" "George, George George of the Jungle" "George, George George of the Jungle" "George, George George of the Jungle" "George, George George of the Jungle" "George, George George of the Jungle" "George, George George of the Jungle" "Swing from tree to tree" "Watch out for that tree" "George, George George of the Jungle" "Lives a life that's free" "Watch out for that tree" "Left in the wild was a baby with a smile named George" "Who stayed for quite a while" "And George grew up in the trees above" "When Ursula found him they found love" "She took him to the city Took him straight downtown" "But the concrete bliss brought poor George down" "So it's back to the jungle for a wedding in the green" "For the king and queen of the animal scene" "George, George George of the Jungle" "Strong as he can be" "Watch out for that tree" "Watch out for that-- Bang!" "Ooh!" "Tree" "George, George George of the Jungle" "Watch out for that tree" "Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the king of the jungle."