"Subtitles:" "Nathbot ~ bufgelfly ~" "So, you guys open your presents on Christmas Eve?" "Yeah, it's like a Sammler family tradition." "It's like that Christmas Eve sing-along that only Mom likes." "I like it too, just for the record." "What is there to be excited about if you've already opened your presents?" "Imagine being able to sleep in on Christmas morning without having Zoe wake you up at 5.30." "You woke me up last year." "What a great tree!" "How's it going?" "We're just having a doctrinal dispute over when to open Christmas presents." "Christmas morning vs Christmas Eve." "Why don't we do it twice?" "Jessie and Eli can do it with your mom like you used to and then with us on Christmas." "How does that sound?" "Sounds good." "What are you guys gonna do when you have a kid?" " What?" " About family traditions." "We haven't talked about..." "You guys totally should." " You think so?" " Absolutely." "If you guys had a kid, it would know every line to The Philadelphia Story." "And it would sing along with those lame Four Tenors." " None of us can hear it." " They're not lame, OK?" "I am a tenor and I love myself a lot" "I love myself so much!" "And I eat so much and I sing so much" "So what do you think?" "I think I should sing more quietly in the car." "About Zoe's question." "Well, I guess we should think about it." "About having one?" "We should  think about it." "Thinking about it?" "He doesn't want another kid." "What do you think?" "Don't come in!" " Don't come in!" "Not yet!" " Hang on!" "I know what you're doing, you're wrapping presents!" "OK." "I can't find the good ornaments." "I looked everywhere, they must be at Dad's." " Did you guys come with ornaments?" " Like divorced family action figures?" "You can make them, out of pop-corn and cranberry." "Since when would have pop-corn and cranberries?" "Eli needs an extended cord." "Bottom drawer, by the sink in the kitchen." " He looked there..." " Guys, stop it!" "Get out everybody." "I didn't see anything, I swear!" "Can't wait to open my Christmas present." "I hope you like your present." "What did you get me?" "I'm not telling you." " Come on." " No way." "Yeah, you can tell me." "Come on." "You're mean." "So mean." "You don't wanna have another kid." " How do you know?" " Getting up all night?" "Carrying strollers around everywhere, changing diapers?" "How do you feel about it?" "I don't even know if I can still get pregnant, it's not like I'm  twenty-five anymore." "You look like you're twenty-five." "You are so sweet." "Maybe you could get an early present." "Oh, my God!" "What?" "Dr Frankel doesn't want me on the pill anymore," "I haven't taken it for three days." "Well, what are we supposed to do about... you know?" "I'll think of something." "I could go back to using a diaphragm." "So much for spontaneity." "You happen to have one of those lying around here?" "No." "Maybe we could just have another kid." "Alright." "If I knew that Rick really wanted one, really wanted one, then maybe." "We're not gonna have more kids." "I guess if she really wants one..." "It's hard to see it." "I guess we have to deal with this situation." "OK, I could..." "I guess I could get my tubes tied." "Wow, it sounds like what my mother's friends did back in the 70s." "Well, it doesn't have to be you, you know." "I could always have the old... snip-snip." "Rick..." "Did you just offer to get a vasectomy?" "Did I?" "That is one of the most romantic sexy things I've ever heard." "It is?" "Unebelievable." " You have a date." " It's not a date." "It's two non-religious divorced people whose kids are with their exes, having dinner on Christmas Eve." "Does this midwife have letters after her name?" "Are you questioning Tami's credibility?" "I'm just wondering if Tami has letters that I should write on the check." "You know, she's a trained midwife, OK?" "She just doesn't have an RN." "I guess I should be happy you moved off of water birth." "That was expensive and weird." "You know what, Jake?" "It's not my fault the insurance doesn't cover home births." "Besides, I told you I'd pay you back." "I don't want you to pay me back." "I just want you and the baby to be safe." "I know." "But statistically, hospital births aren't actually safer." "They work fine." "Excuse me?" "You would ask Lily, she could tell you she had two incredibly smooth successful hospital deliveries that was attended by excellent medical personnel who well, yes, had lots of letters after their names." "You're mad at me." "I mean, you've been great and everything and I don't think you're actually happy that you're mad at me, but you are." "You know what, Jake?" "Your ambivalence about this baby doesn't touch me." "You can't bum me out." "I'm umbummable." "You offered to cut off your penis?" "!" "Incendiary, and medically incorrect." "You're a better man than I. Although pretty soon you'll less of one." "Isn't that incredible?" "I didn't even bring it up and he just offered." "Well, he should offer." "I mean, everything is so easy for men." "We get this fixed number of dwindling eggs." "And them, with their unlimited lifetime sperm supplies, like a multiple partners sex party till you drop..." "Oh, man." "I don't know, I just..." "I feel like we're done with the kid thing, maybe there's nothing left to lose, you know?" "Well, I don't know, Rick." "Maybe it's some kind of... primal male thing, but I like to know that I still have swimmers carrying my DNA even if I never use 'em." "You know, the surgery you'd have to have is much more dangerous." "It is?" "Still, way more women have it than men have vasectomies." "I guess men just don't wanna go there." "Really?" "Yeah, I don't like the idea of you being greateful for something that should be a no-brainer." "Plus, I gotta believe there's another way than take chunks out of your own scrotum." "That's what they do!" "They make two little incisions..." "OK, enough." "Too much information." "I'm not even sure what's going on with my dwindling eggs." "And meanwhile I'm spending Christmas Eve with Sam, even though we're not even really a couple." "If you say something negative right now, I'm gonna leave." "I won't say anything except I love you." "If I could just get him to say that..." "Can I have your red sweater?" "Sure." "Thanks." "... recorded as high as 50 miles per hour causing possible power outages." "2 to 3 feet of snow are expected by midnight... 2 to 3 feet?" "... storm leading off before daybreak." "Road conditions are hazardous, many accidents and road closures have been reported." "Come in!" "Merry Christmas and all that jazz!" " Cool hat." " Thanks." "I just..." "I brought your mom some... dead sea bath salts, cause I swear, she's been... such a goddess." " Grace." " What?" " The tree." " What..." " What exactly are you going for?" " I'm not really going for anything." "We can't find the good ornaments." "Is that my dad?" "Hi, just me, sorry." "No, it's just..." "My dad's coming to pick me up to take me to my mom's..." "We always have fun and eat Christmas cookies and just... have fun." "Meanwhile, I'm in the house of no ornaments." "Have you considered cup-melting?" "What?" "I don't know why, but I am really good at melting stuff." "Wow, it's cold." "Merry Christmas!" "What stinks?" "Melting cup ornaments." "Hey, honey." "Mom just called again." "Did you talk to Dad?" "He said he was on his way, but roads are very bad." "I know, but it's Christmas Eve and she's upset cause we're not there." "Do you see a car here for me to drive?" "You know what?" "I'm just borrowing a sweater from Lily so I can take you to your mom's on my way downtown." "Are you seeing Sam?" "That's none of your business." "Of course, but it is not a date." "Then why are you borrowing her sweater?" "I'm gonna go change and when I'm back, this bus is leaving!" "Judy has a date with Sa-am!" "Judy has a date with Sam!" "Les?" "People are getting anxious about the weather." "They'd like to go home." "What weather?" "We've been broadcasting blizzard alerts for the last four hours." "When did people in this country get afraid of a little snow?" "OK, everybody can go home." "And if you can stay and help me finish a few things maybe I can get out of here, too." "WGZZ weather center." "Severe storm watch." "Near blizzard conditions expected by midnight tonight." " What do you think?" " This blizzard must be bad." "They keep interrupting every 2 seconds for it." "No, the tree." "Oh, it's great." "Oh, no, Zoe, it's really really great!" "Good job!" "Tiffany, Grace is mocking me!" "And also you and the ornaments you worked so hard on!" "Either I'm peeing and I just can't stop, or my... water broke." "Is breaking..." "right here on your floor." "Oh my God oh my God!" "Zoe, you have to stop jumping." " You want up?" " Yeah." " Does it hurt?" " Should I call 911?" "No, I'm not going to the hospital, I'm gonna have a home birth." " What's that?" " What does it sound like?" " Shut up." " Zoe, you shut up!" " Sorry." " Our bad." "OK, so what do you need?" "What can we do?" "Actually, I have everything I need at my apartment." "So if you could just call your dad and have him pick up my midwife?" " I'll do that." " I'll get you water." "He's on a date, but he said to call if I needed..." "He's on a date?" "He won't admit it, but I know he is." "I'm sorry." "Just a second." "Hello?" "Hi." "Tiffany's water broke." "She's fine, but she needs you to pick up her midwife." "Is that OK?" " I can pick up the midwife." " Great!" "Just tell him to take Tami to my apartment, I'll meet him there." " Did you hear that?" " Yeah, I'll be right there." "OK..." "Oh, boy, I'm so sorry." "I'm gonna have to take a raincheck." "Yeah, I kind of figured." "It's no problem." "So?" " Whose midwife?" " Oh, it's just this girl." "Who's having my baby." "My ex-girlfriend." "Cool!" "You're sure you don't want me to come get you?" "No thanks, I'm on my way." "Well, OK, just..." "It's brutal, Lil, it's really, really icy out here, OK?" " You go home with me." " What?" "What?" "I'm driving you home, it's terrible out here." "Les has offered to drive me home." " Not offering, I'm doing it." " What?" "I'll be home real soon, if you'll call the kids, OK?" "I am so happy to see you!" "It's frosty out there." "I don't think I've ever driven..." "we couldn't see anything!" "It was so..." "What can I ply you with?" "I kind of got Christmas obsessed." "I've got three kinds of eggnog." "No, nothing yet, I'm still recovering." "Eli, thank you for driving, I don't know why I got so scared." "Well, it's a 65 Corvair." "Your car kinda sucks." "Yeah, I know." "I should keep going, I have to meet Sam" "That's crazy!" "Why don't you call him and have him come here to get you in his truck?" " Sounds like a good idea." " Yeah, come in and get warm." "I was so worried about you!" "We didn't have our sing-along." "Hey, Sam, it's me." "Yeah, well, my car sucks." "I was wondering if wouldn't mind meeting me at Karen's." "Oh, my God, I just realized something." "You're having your baby on Christmas!" "Oh my God, maybe it will be like another messiah." "God, I hope not, it's too much pressure." "I got it, I got it!" "Hey, Zoe, I'm sorry I'm late." "A lot of the roads are closed, but your mom wanted me to call and tell you she's on her way." "Tiffany's water broke." "My... my God." "Is she OK?" "Let me talk to her." "It's Rick." "Rick?" "No, everything's totally under control." "I talked to my doctor, I've loads of time." "Well, don't move, I'll be right there." "Grace, that's my other phone, could you...?" "Please." "And Zoe, I'm totally head rushing here, can I..." " It's me again." " You guys OK?" " Jake's getting the midwife." " Th... there's a midwife?" "Hi Gracie, I can't find the midwife." " Jake can't find the midwife." " What's going on?" " Jake can't find the midwife?" " She's not at her apartment." "She's probably stranded at her job, she rides a scooter." " We think she's at her job." " She rides a scooter?" "The health food place on 3rd and Northern" "On 3rd and Northern, got it." " That's my market!" " What?" "I'm on my way." "Zo', that's the other line, OK?" "I'm six blocks away from you so I'll be home soon, alright?" "Rick, it's me." "We were in an accident." "We're both OK but we need you to come get us." "Tell me where you are." "We're right in front of the Alexandria hotel." "OK, I'll be right there." "Miracle on 34th Street." " Hard Day's Night." " What?" "No, no, no!" "Have it as you like." " Christmas Carol!" " Yes!" "Wait, wait!" "Mom, were you doing that Carol woman from the bank?" "You are such a dork!" "I got it." "Watch it, I'm dirty at this game." "Alright, here we go." "Nutcracker?" "Merry happy, everybody!" "Come in, it's freezing out there." "It's so bad they called it blizzard hell." "They did not." "Hey, Jamie, I didn't expect to see you." "Jeannine got caught in the city, so I though Jamie could hang out with us for a while." " He'll hook up with his mom later on." " Great." "I haven't seen you since your ninth birthday." "Yeah, you broke my bouncy." "Mom!" "What can I say?" "I'm a vigorous jumper." "Do you remember Jessie and Eli?" "And this is Judy, my really cool friend I was telling you about." "Hey, Jamie, how you doing?" "So, I should... get my stuff." "You know what, wait a minute." "You're not going out now." "No, it's horrible out there." "I have plenty of food, you're gonna stay." "Well, it's kind of a manly challenge to go out in the snow like this..." " No big deal, we're up to it." " No, you just stay until it lits up." "Well, chief..." "you wanna have dinner here tonight?" "Do you want to play charades?" "You can be on my team." " She needs the help, trust me." " Yes, she does." "Come on." "God, he's so cute!" "So, is this OK?" "Yeah, sure, I just... wish I had a present for him, maybe I could... give him cash?" "You didn't bring me one, did you?" "I need my markers." " Was that a contraction?" " I don't know." "Mommy!" "My God, where were you?" "Tiffany's water broke." "I know sweetie, we had an accident." "Rick had to come and get us." " An accident?" " Everybody's fine." "I'll tell you all about it, I just wanna check how Tiffany's doing." "Oh no, everything's fine, I'm totally in the early stages." "Thank God." "I went to the hospital twice before they'd even admit me." "I'm not going to the hospital." " I'm sorry, what?" " She's having a home birth." "What if something goes wrong?" "It's totally safe!" "It's all s..." " You talk." " It's all planned out." "Dad's on his way to her apartment with the midwife." "It's just, I wonder if maybe you'd feel more comfortable" "What if the midwife meets you at the hospital?" "If it's a problem, I can drive myself." "But I'd really like to have the home birth I planned for." "It's not that." "Statistically there's no evidence that a hospital birth is safer." "Thank you." "My daughter had a home birth." "OK, hold on." "It's for you." "Hey, beauty, it's Tami." "How are you doing?" "It's really weird down there." "You've probably been labouring and didn't even know it!" "I may have been labouring and I didn't even know it." "Grace, would you see if Les needs some ice for his forehead?" "Yeah, follow me." " I'm Grace." " Yeah, I heard." "I was so scared when you called earlier." "How do you want your ice?" "In a towel or an icepack?" "In a glass, with vodka on it." "Lily?" "Can you check if my cervix is open?" "I have explicit instructions from Tami." "This is not my job." "OK, well, listen, sorry about tonight." "Hey, when your ex-girlfriend's having our baby... your ex-girlfriend's having our baby." "Bye." "Merry Christmas." "So." "Tiffany is your ex-girlfriend, she's having your baby, and you were out on a date with that woman tonight, right?" "Just trying to get it all straight." "Okey-dokey." "So, it looks like I'm really having this baby, uh?" "Yep." "Excuse me." "Rick?" "Call Jake and have him bring the midwife to our house." "We're having a home birth." "Here." "Cool!" "OK." "Right, that's two and a half minutes since the last..." "Oh, sweetie, I'm sorry, I squeezed too hard." "That's OK." "What does it feel like?" "Kind of like an Indian burn inside you." "Oh, no, these sheets are too nice." "No, it's OK." "But, isn't there gonna be, like... epic grossness?" "It's OK, sweetie, they're just sheets." "Right, I'll be right back, OK?" "Rick, we can't possibly do this in this house!" "Oh." "Jake, it's me." "This is insane, where are you?" "There is only one road open and it's not moving." "The contractions are really close together." "She was already dilated about a half an hour ago." "I don't wanna look again, I'm afraid I'll see a head." "That's assuming it's not breech." " This is ridiculous." " I'm doing the best I can." "I know!" "Well, we'll just have to make it work." "We don't have much of a choice, do we." "So that was your ex-wife?" "At my ex-house, where my... ex-girlfriend is having a baby we never planned for and were never expecting to have." "What?" "There is no place to go!" "I don't know what Tiffany told you, but I'm not a bad guy." " She didn't say you were." " I'm taking responsability." " Good." " I have two daughters" " I take very good care of." " Good." "I don't know why they look at me like I'm some kind of villain." "And who's looking at you that way?" "No, no, it's OK." "If you want something, you can ask for it." "I know." " Mom, can I be excused?" " Sure." "Yeah, me too." "This was fantastic, Karen." "It's much better than the pizza Sam would've ordered." "I'm glad you liked it." "Mom, can I start the cookie house now?" "Yeah, sure honey." "Jamie, do you wanna do the cookie house with me?" "No, thanks." "You know what, buddy," "I'm gonna make a phone call, OK?" "Sure." "Wow, I like your pictures." "What's it of?" "Stupid stuff." "I draw all the time." "This looks like a hand..." "And, are these flames?" "What is that, some kind of sabre?" "Do you have sex with my dad?" "I mean..." "Are you like his girlfriend?" "We're... friends, actually." "That's what he told me too." "Listen, he doesn't know what he's doing." "And..." "I know he's seeing other people, too." "Do you wanna call a tow truck or something?" "I'll have my assistant deal with it tomorrow." "You mean, my mom?" "Get me back to my wife and kids!" "Help me, Clarence, please!" "Please!" "I wanna live again!" " How come you're not with your family?" " I'm divorced." " We're divorced." " I know." " Mom has a lot of guilt about it." " Should she?" "Well, I'm not sure I could have stayed married to my dad either." "But I miss having a family." "Especially on Christmas." "What about your daughter who had the home birth?" "Leslie?" "We haven't spoken for five years." "I talk to her, but she's too big a bitch to pick up the phone." "How are you doing?" "Like this wave is coming, you don't know when and how hard..." "Maybe I should try to squat, do you think I should?" "I have no idea, but let's go for it." "Rick?" "How do you do that?" "Do you know how to..." "Well, I think I did that a couple of times with Karen..." "Step down of the bed and we'll get you up under the arms and then take the weight off." "Put your weight." "It's OK, I've got lots of... fine pain coping techniques." "I'll feel so much better when Jakes gets here with Tami." "Make friends with the pain..." " So, why don't you wanna marry her?" " We have to have this discussion now?" "We're never gonna see each other again, why not?" "OK, why aren't I gonna marry Tiffany?" "When my ex-wife was in her 20th hour of labour," "I went down to the cafeteria and I started flirting with a doctor who was on her break." "I complimented the blouse she had... under the lab coat." "Everybody knows what that means." " You wanted it off of her." " So, I'm a bad man." "OK?" "But I'm a good father." " What?" " You like being ambivalent, so that you can go on dates and then sweep in and be the dad when you wanna be, and when a woman needs something, you have the perfect excuse built right in, which is that you're bad." "It's not an excuse." "I am bad." "Nah, you're fourteen." "Did I make this blizzard?" "Did I plan this baby?" "Nope." "You still got to deal with them both, though, don't you?" "I've done this twice already, you'd think I'd be used to it." " You did it?" " Sorry." "I did it twice before and I still can't imagine how it happened." "Yeah, I'm sure you'd love to go through it again." "No, I guess not." "Upstairs." "Grace, where's your dad anyway?" "Has anybody heard from him?" "Not in a while, but" " Maybe you should go get the midwife." " I thought Jake was already on his way." "Jake is a non committal passive agressive bad driver." "He's probably making out with the midwife." "Who knows if he'll even be here, he barely showed up for me when I was married to him." "Can I take a bath?" "Sure." "I was gonna do a gumdrop chimney." "I'm sorry." "It's OK." "I don't mean to be obsessive, it's just after it's done we give it to this rest home, so I like it to be very nice." "Here, you can put some of these at the top." " It smells great." " I know." " In here?" " Yeah." "What's up with Jamie?" "Long story." "He seems like a really..." "great kid." "But I'm just trying to figure out..." "Maybe it's cause of the divorce, but he just seems really..." "Really what?" "Nothing, I was just saying I was... had this little moment with Jamie, and..." "I don't know, it was a little difficult." "They're all difficult." "Oh, no, I didn't mean" "They are." "He's a difficult kid." "I think he's a lovely kid." "He's been in and out of special schools, been on and off a boatload of medication, none of which worked." "Merry Christmas." "Sam, I'm sorry." "No, it's..." "No need to be sorry for it." "I wanted you to know, this is who he is, this is my son." "I think he's wonderful." "In case you have a problem with that." "Why would that matter?" " Damn it, damn it!" " Calm down." "Why should I calm down?" "Where are you going?" "I have to get to my ex-wife's house." "My girlfriend's having a baby, I have to get the midwife to her." "I have to get to her right now, please!" "Why did you put that nice blanket on the bed?" "I'll take it off." "No, it's great." "See, it's gone." "Just climb right up here." "Rick, will you put this in the closet?" "I just wish I was at my house so I didn't have to worry." "Sweetie." "You don't have to worry about anything." "Everything we have is yours." "Whatever you need." "Lift your head." "Thank you." "I'm sorry about what I said about Jake." "No, it's OK." "I agree with you." "Especially the part about Jake being a sucky driver." "It's just that he's not here." "And neither is anyone else that I'm related to and..." "Not that I'd really want them to be, it's just..." "If I was at my house, I'd have my stuff and..." "I feel like I can't even make any noise!" "Why would you feel like that?" "Of course you should." "You should whatever you need to do." "I mean, you have very strong ideas about how you wanna do this," "I'm not a expert" "Stop saying that, I don't need an expert!" "Sorry." "Sorry." "I'm here." "It's OK." "It's OK." "What's happening?" "Power lines must be down." "We need to boil some water to keep the washclothes hot." "Alright, Grace?" "Can you find me a pan?" "And some more candles, if you can find 'em." "And in the garage I think, there's a kerosene lantern." "This is like Little House in the Prairie." "Zoe, stop it, I don't like that." "Sorry." "Can you find that pan for me?" "Is she OK?" "Yeah, she's in what they call transition." "It hurts so much!" "Just keep breathing." "I think I'm gonna be sick." "It's OK." "Grab something for her, will you?" "Hang on." "I wouldn't put any more candy on that." "It's OK." "I know what I'm doing." "Yeah, I know that's not your problem." "Can you just talk to him?" "Come on, that's so unfair." "Oh, no." "It's OK, honey." "What happened?" "Oh, honey..." "What can we do?" "Maybe we should just sing." " We don't need any power" " No one wants a sing-along, Mom." "No one ever wanted a sing-along." "I'm sorry, Mom." "No, I just had... too many expectations, that's all." "He's gonna stay with me tonight." "Wow, what" "Where is he?" "Jamie, no, no!" "What're you doing?" "This is for Jessie." "Please, stop, stop, stop!" "Jamie, come on!" "You can't" "You can't go to somebody's house and mess everything up." "Look at me." "Come on, it's Christmas, this is not your house, none of this..." "none of this stuff is yours." "I know that." "Alright." "I know you wanna push, but try to hold on if you can." "I know!" "Cause you had to perfect babies in your perfect hospital cause you're perfect!" "I don't know where you heard that." "I had 22 hours of labour with Grace." "I was screaming for drugs," "I was cursing like that girl in The Exorcist." "Zoe, I was just so wiped out I gave up." "Does that make you feel better?" "My whole life, my mom told this story about... when she was drunk, about... when she had me, and she said she almost died." "And I just thought she was being horrible and mean." "She is." "You're not gonna die." "You're just having a baby." "I want to go to the hospital!" "You'll be just as scared at the hospital, trust me." "No, I want drugs, I can't do it!" "You're already doing it!" "You're doing it." "You're doing it beautifully, look at you!" "And pretty soon, you're gonna have a baby" "I'm not ready." "I don't even like babies!" "Oh, God!" "Tiffany." "Your world is about to change in the most incredible way." "From the first moment you look into this little baby's eyes, your heart is gonna open in a way you never dreamed possible." "Hang on." "It won't be much longer." "We were so worried!" " Where is she?" " Upstairs." "Is that a snow plow?" "Oh, thank God!" "Hey, sweetie." "I'm just gonna see how things are going." "Knock yourself out." "We think she's like totally dilated." "You made it." "I'm here." "I'm gonna be checking her cervix, and she'll probably push soon, there's too many people in here." " You're gonna stay, right?" " You kidding?" "Alright, sweetie." "We're gonna roll you over in a second." "She wants you to stay." "Well, get in there." "Eli, come on, it's your turn." "You're still in jail." "He is still in jail?" "Alright." " Alright, sweetie, here you go." " I'm just gonna go." "Let's get" " Oh, here he is." "My turn, uh?" "Your turn." "You get doubles." "I think he's having a hard time." "Move me." "Hey, me." "Jamie, dude." "Wake up, blanket." "You want me to teach you a G-chord?" "Come on." "Take this." "First, you put your fingers like this." "I want you to strum the strings for me." "You and the baby, you're doing this together." "Only you can push this baby out." "No one else can do this for you." "It sucks!" "You're so close!" "Good job, baby's crowning!" "I am never having a baby." "Another girl for Jake." "What is it, a conspiracy?" "That's right." "You are the most beautiful, perfect little creature your daddy has ever seen." "You wanna hold her?" "Yeah, I would love to." "She's so... precious little girl, isn't she beautiful?" "I didn't realize they came out with fingernails." "Your baby's gonna come out with painted fingernails." "Your baby's gonna come out with a copy of War and Peace." "We have to cut these things off." "Oh, it's right, Zoe!" "It's your dad." "I know." "It's just" "We hadn't spoken in a while and..." "I just thought I'd call up and say merry Christmas." "Lights are on!" "So?" "I know." "No snip-snip?" "Guess not." "Oh, boy." "Or girl." "Here's another fine mess you've gotten me into."