"You'll meet two countries:" "Pepeslavia and the Cocos Republic." "Of course, they do not exist, but we warn you, it's possible you may confuse them with others." "Or those countries may look similar to the ones you'll imagine." "We should say this is a coincidence, but we did it on purpose." "We don't want to cause any problems." "THE COCOS REPUBLIC EMBASSY" "CHANCELLERY" "OFFICE HOURS:" "MONDAY to FRIDAY from 10:30 to 10:45 a. m." "Good morning, guys." "Excuse me, sir." "Is my visa ready?" "It was almost ready, but you hadn't come back." " I'll be with you in a moment." " Thank you." "Sit down." "Do they work in the afternoons?" "They don't come in the afternoon." "In the morning, they don't work." "Let's see." "Mr. Milos Popovich." " Did you bring all the documents?" " I think so, sir." "You've been trying to get your visa for almost 30 years now." "Thirty-five, sir." "But you always ask me for a new document and I can't catch up with new laws." "Those are the country's laws." "I'm a high-ranking employee, but I still follow orders." " Did you bring your passport?" " Here it is, sir." "Is it still valid?" "It's valid until 1996, just for the doubt." "A cautious man." "Did you bring your certificates?" "Here they are, sir." "Certificates." "Here's the one for yellow fever." "Nice color." "Rabies." "Heartburn." "Jaundice." "Swamp fever." "White vomit." "Typhus." "Smallpox." "Perfect." "I brought one for the filth." "That's not necessary." "You just wash it out with soap." "Your military certificate." "Here it is, sir." "Wow!" "Is it signed by Napoleon Bonaparte?" "Yes, sir." "I was a drummer at the old guard." "And you don't have any patches?" "Thank God, sir." "I also was bugle horn man." " Were you Napoleon's bugle horn man?" " Yes." " And you still play, Mr. Milos?" " Sometimes, just to remember." "Stop it, Mr. Milos." "Stop it." "At your age, that is too rough." "Just do curfew, that's all." " And marriage certificate?" " I never got married, sir." "No wonder you're alive." "How old are you?" "I lost count." "I have many flight hours." "But you're not over 70." " I was that age, like, 10 years ago." " Death certificate?" "No, sir." "That's the only one I don't have." "Gee." "Well, you bring me a notarized letter promising, under oath, that you, Napoleon's drummer will not die in my country." "My country is not obliged to incur in expenses." "Bring me all that and I think you'll leave the country." "I think you're going to leave us." "Take this sandwich too." "It will give you some energy." " Good morning, Lopitos." " Good morning, Lolita." "How are you?" "Well, I can tell." " How, Lopitos?" " Pretty, with a capital P-R-E." "If beauty hurt, you'd be crying all the time." "Thank you." "So nice, as always." "And you're always avoiding me." " Any telegrams for the ambassador?" " Of course, Lolita." "What is this?" "Why are they chewed up?" "Must have been mice or the censor." "When you finish here, go to his office." "Oh, my friend, Celerino." "Finally, he got his ministry." "It won't last him very long." "Things in the Cocos are hot." "I wish I was there." "I like it when politics get stirred up." "I'm dressed like a bridegroom." "Learning to kiss ladies' hands, studying English and French like a scholar, just to say, Bonjour, madame, good morning to people who don't understand me nor do I understand them." "I need a drink." "I have to lock the bar or Secretary Templado drinks all my bottles." "What a man." "He's got a radar for liquor." "Do you want some booze?" "No, thanks, ambassador." "You know I only drink champagne." "Time is up." "That's all." "Let's go, guys." "I'll see you tomorrow." "There is no permission for extra time." "See you tomorrow." "Come early and I'll take care of your business myself." "This tigress won't last very long." "Explain that to me again." "How are international politics?" "And what will we say to the Cocos?" "I know very well how politics are in my country." "But this one of Great Powers nonaligned countries and international organisms..." " ..." "I can't understand a word." " It's very simple." "Actually, the world is divided into three political factions." "The Red countries the Green countries and the Candy countries." " Like tamales." " Exactly." "The Red countries are the Socialist powers or those who practice socialism." "They have authoritarian regimes despotic procedures and sui generis economic systems." "Don't you talk to me in Latin." "We're not in Mass." "Excuse me, sir." "The Red countries have a unique economic and social system and are headed by a group that means to rule eternally and uses dictatorial procedures." "Yes." "Until they are overthrown." "No." "Until they eliminate one another." "Those are called "purges. "" "It's difficult to get rid of them because they are as you'd say, well-linked together." "That's how I like it." "Then we have the Green countries or Capitalist powers." "They are known by their more or less democratic systems." "By the periodical changes in government through elections." "And by their immense economical power." "In other words, the ones with the money." "Yes, sir, yes." "But the Red Ones are not poor at all." "They do have fabulous capitals." "But they pretend otherwise." "Finally, we have the numerous group of the Candy countries formed by nations economically and politically weak, like us." "These countries have to orbit around the Green countries or the Red countries." "Do you understand?" "Some of these Candy countries try not to be influenced by any of the two groups and follow an independent course." "They call themselves Nonaligned Countries." "It doesn't mean they don't get help or loans from the other two." "In a month from now, we will have here in Troleburgo, Pepeslavia's capital an international meeting with all the countries on earth to decide the destiny of the mankind." "Oh, my God!" "Both the Green Ones and the Red Ones are trying to win over the Candy countries..." " ... and get their votes." " That's why they've been so nice." "Exactly, sir." "Since Candy countries are the majority our votes can tip the scale in favor of one or the other." "Is it clear?" "Clearer than my town's milk." "It means that if the small countries like us side up with the Green Ones we'll make them win." "But if we, instead, side up with the Red Ones, we'll make them win." "Exactly!" "Your capacity to grasp these things is impressive." "Well, God blessed me with that gift." "Oh, man!" "What is it?" "Did you find another solution?" "No." "I forgot to tell Chancellor Lopitos to go to school." " He's so ignorant, he needs it." " No, to pick my children up." "Lopitos." "Lopitos, wake up!" "Next!" "Excuse me, Lolita." "I was doing my "yogi" exercises." " The ambassador wants to see you." " I'm coming right away." "Hurry up." "It's going to be 12:00." "Come in." "Ambassador, counselor." "What can I do for you?" "Is it possible Lopitos?" "Haven't you picked my children up at school?" "I was leaving right now." "But I've had too much work." "Well, hurry up, Lopitos." "And go to Customs to pick up the things for the dinner." "Will we have vegetable stew?" "That's none of your business." "Pick up the diplomatic valise." "Go with Templado to sign the documents but open your eyes." "Don't let him touch the bottles." "No, if he drinks them without touching them." "Don't worry." "Fix that sleeve." "Aren't you ashamed?" "It's not my fault if it slides up." "Did you see what happened?" "All because of your damn advice." "Now, I'll have to go around with this bikini-jacket." " Let's see if you have a pin." " Take your hands off of me, insolent!" "You are the "insolvent. "" "Stop the squabbling." "You can have my coat." "Go quickly while she sews your jacket." "I'll sew it while you go to Customs." "Lolita, you're always so nice and helpful." "Thank you, my ambassador." "You're always so comprehensive." "That's why you are so appreciated, loved, remembered and mentioned in the official acts." "Look at this." "Velvet." "Just like mink." "Touch it." "We finally won." "Touch it." "We won?" "We'll talk about it later." "And we'll resolve." "What did you say?" "Lolita, please." "When you sew it, don't make any armhole or hem." "Just cross-stitch to form a shoulder pad." "Come in." "Hello, my dear chancellor." "What a pleasure." "Come in." "Feel at home." "Hello, Templadito?" "Just in time for some gargling." "Do you want?" "No, it's too early for me, Mr. Sera." "So were you promoted to bear?" "No, I borrowed it from the ambassador." "It's cold outside." "Look at this heating." "Pure mink." "So let me turn on my internal heating." "Yes." "We have to go to Customs to pick up the food and wine." " Do you have the franchise?" " Of course." "I prepared it a month ago." "The ambassador promised me a couple of bottles for my toothache." "So let's go." "Jeez, Mr. Sera." "Box with V?" "That's Gen. Balarrasa." "Let's ask him if he wants something." " Let's go." " Go ahead, dear chancellor." "MILITARY ATTACHÉ" "Go ahead!" "Be careful with the tanks!" "Sgt. Gomez, use the hand grenades." "More!" "More!" "More!" "He can't hear us." "There is too much shooting." "I hope we don't get killed." "Come in." " Good morning." " All quiet on the front?" "All quiet on the left, right and behind." "Don't say behind, say rear guard right flank, left flank." " It depends on the attack." " What do you want?" "We'll go to Customs." "If you need anything, tell us." "We can bring your bottles." "I need nothing from Customs." "Are you passing by the marketplace?" "Don't tell me." "You need soldiers." "Yes." "I need three dozen infantry and two dozen artillery." "You've had many casualties." "I think your strategy is no good." "When you advance, be careful since you always retreat." "No, watching the right and left flanks going head-on to show them there are positions." "You know about strategy?" "Do you forget I always make the enemy run?" "Don't be mad, general." "You may have been in too many battles, but have you won any of them?" " Do you want bombs?" " No." " We'll see you later." "Yes." "Goodbye, general." "Dear chancellor, why don't we ask Adm. Aguado if he needs anything." "ADMIRAL NEPTUNO AGUADO" "NAVAL ATTACHÉ" "Those destroyers are too close for a submarine attack." "The best plan will be to..." "Stairs down!" "Come aboard!" "Did you bring a life vest?" "Bring one." "Good morning, admiral." "Killer of the sea executioner of seafood and hunter of the fish." "Illustrious sailor, son of Neptune." "Good morning." "What brings you here?" "East winds?" "No, other winds." "Isn't that true?" "We'll go to Customs if you need anything." "We can bring you your petroleum, even though we drown." "No, sperm whales." "I still have some bottles." "And I don't want to load fuel until I finish the report about the port facilities." "Which port facilities if we don't have a coast?" " The ones from the lake in the park." " Because the sea is 435 miles away." "Thank God." "Because humidity makes my rheumatism..." " Take a couple of drinks." " They give me seasickness." "You get seasick by entering into the bathtub." " How do you know?" " I can imagine." "It's getting late." "We have to pick the children up." "We better be on time." "Admiral, we are going to weigh the anchor." "To the right, starboard, immersion." "Goodbye, Popeye." "Head to the south with winds at the stern." "I'm worried." "These are too close for a submarine attack." "No?" "I better take the torpedo boat to the coast." "Comrade Vasily Vasilov, minister of International Affairs." " Hello, Comrade Vasilov." " Hello, comrade prime minister." "I wanted to see you because you are going for dinner at the Cocos Embassy." "That's right, Comrade Osky Poposky." "How about your relations?" "I'm a good friend of the counselor, Tirso de la Pompa y Pompa." "But not of the Ambassador Menchaca." "He is a very reserved man." "I understand he has political ambitions." "Yes." "He only talks about going back to his country and the important positions given to others." "Do you think the ambassador would be willing to overthrow the president?" "I mean, if he had the power and support needed?" "It's possible." "His highest ambition is to be president." "Comrade Vasily Vasilov, you know how important those Candy countries are, not only for us, but for the cause." "We must get their votes for the next meeting." "I know it." "That's why I've been holding receptions and going to banquets to strengthen our relations." "That's not enough." "We have to get them on our side." "Even if we have to use the personal ambitions of people like Menchaca." "During dinner, look for an opportunity to talk to him, alone." "Coax him." "Flatter his ego." "Tell him he could be a good president." "Insinuate we could help him overthrow the president and place him in power." "If you see he reacts favorably, offer him all you can think of." "Money, weapons, ammunition." "I understand he likes blonds." "Offer him blond and black, brunette and red-haired women." "Tell him he can count on support from Pepeslavia and the Red Powers." "In exchange for our help ask him only for his vote in favor of the Red Ones." "Well, comrade, and if the ambassador refuses to accept our generous proposal?" "It all depends on you." "I have no doubts about your diplomatic ability, comrade." "But, if the ambassador refuses, you can start packing." "And not precisely for a country where they have coconuts but ice, too much ice." "One, two, three, four, five, six, seven eight, nine, 10, 11, 12, 13?" "No, we are not sitting at that table." "I hadn't realized we made up that fatal number." "Ambassador, that is not important." "It's a ridiculous superstition." "Whatever you say." "But I don't sit at a table with 13 people." "Remember, when the owl sings, the Indian dies." "It won't be true, but it happens." "The dinner is the day after tomorrow." "There is no time to eliminate someone." "I sent the invitations, and they were all accepted." "I don't say we have to eliminate someone." "It's no election time." "Invite someone else, and it will be no problem." "But who can we invite 48 hours before the dinner?" "Protocol asks for two weeks in advance." "Especially if it is a formal dinner with medals." "We can invite someone from here and avoid the protocol." "But who?" "The military and naval attachés are already invited." "And you don't want Secretary Templado there, because he'd get drunk." "No, Templado would arrive already drunk." "He doesn't need to be sitting at the table." "Then, who?" "It is a dinner only for men." "We can't invite your wife or Lolita, your secretary." "I got it!" "We invite Lopitos and that makes 14." "Chancellor López?" "We can't invite him to a formal dinner." "The minister of affairs and the protocol director will assist." "Why can't we invite him?" "He is part of the personnel." "Though he is the lowest in rank." "He will embarrass us." "Maybe he doesn't know how to use the cutlery." " Have you eaten lunch with him?" " No." "I have." "And he's behaved properly." "He's gluttonous, and sometimes, he uses his fingers to eat." "But he doesn't suck them or make any noise." "He will speak meaningless things." "Remember, the international situation is very delicate and he could compromise us very seriously." "I will order him to open his mouth just to eat." "He may not have a suit." "Your Excellency, Vasily Vasilov, minister of International Affairs." "It's an honor, ambassador." " Minister." " Counselor." " Minister." " Good evening." "Admiral." "Sir." "Yes, minister." "And yelled out, "Get onboard, my sea cubs. "" "My men climbed on the deck holding sables with their teeth while I was covering the assault firing five cannons from the forecastle." "What do you think?" "I got this one when I ended the uprising of Gen. Chirolas." "Very nice." "How was the action in war?" "There was no action." "He was the only one who stood up." "But we were very fast, and I put him back in bed." " Don't tell me." " Yes." "What an honor, director." "I must say, I sent my government a telegram in order to get you the spider-monkey order they promised you." "When I get it, I'll climb trees just for the fun of it." "The advantages of least developed countries..." " ... is, they don't have to help others." "That's the point." "The least developed countries must evolve or we get involved in trouble." " What?" " Dinner is ready." "And Liliana told me..." "Ambassador." "An urgent telegram." "Thank you." "Excuse me." "Go ahead." "Excuse me." "Dear minister, commissaries, colleagues." "We just received a telegram reporting that the army of the Cocos, in a fast operation overthrew Gen. Godines and is in power until elections are called." "Gen. Filomeno Natilla, good friend of mine and the new president designated me as plenipotentiary ambassador of Pepeslavia." "Menchaca has been removed from his post and he will receive his plane tickets and travel allowances." "I propose a toast for the new government of the Cocos." "For the president, Gen. Natilla and for the eternal friendship between our countries." "Cheers!" "Ambassador." "The next dish." "Forward!" "Marching!" "Right away, ambassador." "Put some more on the plate." "Or is the new government rationing it?" "There is no more, sir." "I brought 20 cans." "Yes, but they evaporate with the heat." "Or you eat them." "Water in the soup?" "I can see you studied to be a milkman." "Look at this watery soup." "We can make gazpacho." " What is this?" " A telegram, Excellency." "Maybe it's a confirmation." "Or to inform you they'll send your credentials soon." "Minister of International Affairs, commissaries and all the new comrades onboard." "It is an honor for me to inform you that the Cocos navy has overthrown the military government of Filomeno Natilla." "After an attack with no casualties except some lightbulbs in the palace, the valiant marines entered and immediately took control." "The former President Natilla took a plane to Miami." "Nobody knows how much money was in his suitcases." "The man who took his place as president is Adm. Delfin Escamilla." "My friend." "And he will stay as president until new elections are called." "Also, it is an honor for me to announce that the new president has chosen me as the Cocos plenipotentiary ambassador here in Pepeslavia." "Distinguished little whales I propose a toast to the new government of the Cocos." "To the Admiral Escamilla and to the friendship of our countries." "Onboard, my cabin boys!" "Cheers!" "Ambassador?" "Bring the fish." "Go 20 knots per hour." "Yes, sir." "Excuse me." "Yes." "What kind of fish is this that smells like disinfectant?" "Like petroleum?" "This fish is imported from Venezuela." "This one must have 90 octane." " It's very strong." " I'd better not eat it." "I could explode when I light my cigar." "Mine is very good." "This Chateauneuf du Pap is drinkable." "We must tell the butler not to serve more of this." "Otherwise, they'll drink it all." "Like they did with the puilly." " If they ask for more?" " Serve them horchata." "The good bouillon must be for the experts who appreciate them." "Who could it be?" "What else?" "Another telegram." "Damn it!" "Now, my cabin boy, it's time for you to stand guard." "Gentlemen, emotion is invading me like a common clerk." "This telegram just arrived to inform us that my godfather Dr. Velendre, helped by the watchmen, the police and the honorable Sweeper Union have overthrown Escamillas' tyrannical government." "My godfather, now in charge decided not to call elections." "He will buy cannons, just in case." "My godfather, with his vision and you must know he owns an optometry business has chosen me as the Cocos plenipotentiary ambassador here." "The extraordinary thing is, he named me." "But it doesn't surprise me, because he owes me many favors." "I remember when I was a kid, once, because he's very open..." "Well, I'll tell you about it later." "Among my full powers is to cease right away any member of the personnel that I don't like." "Don't be afraid." "I'm not a vengeful person." "I'll try to lead my embassy with dignity and decorum." "But I won't let anyone make fun of me." "I'm sorry." "Gentlemen, I want to invite you cordially to make a toast to my stepfather..." "I mean, my godfather." "Let's make a toast to the Cocos new civil government to the new president, my godfather, Dr. Velendre, to me and to the eternal friendship between our countries." "Let's go!" "Cheers!" "Ambassador, we don't have a picture of the new president." "It doesn't matter." "I'll bring one even though he's wearing a swimsuit." "Put something like the Cocos map." "The ambassadors are transistors." " We just come and go." " As you say, sir." "Don't bring me more telegrams." "I want to be ambassador until the dessert." "Understood?" " Understood, ambassador." " Go on." "Ambassador, I have the feeling that the relationship between Pepeslavia and the Cocos will be strengthened." "I'll do the best I can." "I'm a specialist in strengthening." "When we go to the ballroom, I'd like to talk to you a few minutes." "I'd like to exchange opinions about the next meeting." "If I'm still ambassador by that time, we'll exchange what you want." "Now that we are exchanging, let's exchange meats." "It will be a pleasure for me." " Well, cheers, ambassador." " Cheers, minister." "The extraordinary thing is that two weeks have passed and Velendre is still the Cocos Republic president." "Has Ambassador López been confirmed in his post?" "Yes, comrade." "They sent him his credentials." "We approved him immediately." " When will he present credentials?" " Thursday." "There is no time to lose." "The meeting will be soon." "The situation is almost even between us so we need the vote from the Cocos Republic." " Did you talk to him about our affair?" " Yes, comrade." "After dinner." "And then, a while later." "How did he react?" "He avoided me." "He talks too much and says nothing." "What was his excuse?" "He said he's not ambassador until the credentials are presented." "And so he can't commit himself with any of us." "He is less inexperienced than I thought." "He seems to know his job." "Can you convince him after he presents credentials?" "I think so." "We'll start giving him three medals." " He doesn't have any." " Give him all you want." "If he's a vain man, we'll overwhelm him with honors." " Did you offer him money?" " Yes." "He almost hit me." "It won't be easy to bribe him." "Does he drink?" "Does he like women?" "Petrovsky, our informant, told me he barely drinks." "But he's in love with his secretary a woman called Lolita." "We'll offer him a tastier morsel than five Lolitas." "Do you have anyone in mind?" "Tania." "Who is Tania?" "The secret agent KGDOO7." "Good morning." "Good morning, ambassador." "Too much work?" "Since you changed the working hours, this is a pilgrimage." "That's good." "Too many people." "Is she your lover?" "Is there any mail?" "These came in." "And these two telegrams." "Telegrams." "Oh, my God." "When you finish, go to my office..." " ... to see if I need something." " Yes, ambassador." "Satyr." "Look at this!" "Lolis is so kind." "I thanked them, as if they were natural." "You go and buy natural red roses." "Natural?" "In this country and in this season they are more expensive than a cottage." "Who asked you?" "After 20 years, finally I'm the ambassador." "Don't I have the right?" "Buy the roses and, if you can, buy the cottage too." "Good morning, Lopitos." "I'm sorry." "Good morning, ambassador." "Good morning, Lolita." "I'm sorry, good morning, miss." " Call me Lolita." " Call me Lopitos." "No, now it's different." "Before you used to sew my jacket." "And I'll do it again." "Lolis, thank you for the flowers." " They are artificial." " The important thing is the gesture." "You didn't used to send flowers to Menchaca." " No." " Why do you send them to me?" "Because they go with your tie." "My tie is gray-mango colored." "Then, the thing you have under the tie." "On the left." "Under the tie, on the left?" "No, Lopitos." "I'm talking about your heart." "You have a great heart, and that's why I appreciate you." "Even though I'm an ambassador?" " That's not important." " Yes." "This is like a dream..." "But you feel so bad when they fire you." "And that's all." " But the other..." " What other?" "Lolita, you know that..." "We'll talk later." "Come in." "So I want to express to you." "Period." "That, considering the achievements and according to this government and because the people haven't had anything to, comma we insist and not because, certainly, dash that, of course, what, why, what?" "Close interrogation and exclamation points." "Dash." "And I will sign it." "Later we can look over it." "Ambassador." "Good morning, flower from my tropical land." "Good morning, Mr. Serafin." "Your Excellency, ambassador." "I salute you with effusion, affection and all respect." "Don't be slimy." "What can I do for you?" "Why all that?" "I got a call from the Protocol Office to confirm that the ceremony to present the credentials will be next Thursday at 11:00." " We will be there on time." " Twenty minutes before the director of protocol will pick you and your retinue up." " Do you want a revenue?" " Retinue, ambassador." "Retinue." "The director of the protocol will go with you to the palace." "We will be waiting for him." "The best we can do, ambassador, is give him some cognac to soothe us." "The best we can do is forget about drinking because it's an official act." "After that, you have three days' license and do what you want." " But after that..." "Understood?" " Don't worry, ambassador." "Don't worry." "Call the military attaché, the naval attaché, the counselor and you come with them to discuss the presentation..." " ... because it's an important act." " That is a democracy cocktail." "I'll go running." "He is completely drunk." "That is his natural state." "See?" "The roses go with your heart." "I don't find him ugly." "Well, he isn't Mr. Universe either." "But I'm glad you find him acceptable." "You're going to make love to him." "I like his eyes." "You will make him give you the eye." "Remember, we need his vote." "Don't worry, comrade." "Once he is in my arms, he will melt like ice cream." "I don't care about your procedures." "I just need his vote." "You will have it, comrade." "I hope so." "This is some information about the Cocos and the ambassador's background." "Also a summary of his likes vices and habits." "In the reception for the diplomats the minister will present you as his niece a student recently graduated and whose main interest is archeology." "Twenty-four hours later, he will be eating in my hand." "He might bite you." "Do you remember what I did to Von Schullenberg?" "And to Senator Taliateli?" "And how I left Col. Parkinson?" "Compared to those tigers, this one is just a pussycat." "Then make sure his first meow is to give us his vote." "When is he going to present credentials?" "Next Thursday." "Mr. President of Pepeslavia, it is an honor for me, a pleasure and also a motive for exultation to have the opportunity to be in front of you." "I am filled and my feet are swollen because I came walking." "I also have gout and all those things." "Anyway, Mr. President, I want to present my credentials as the Cocos Republic extraordinary and plenipotentiary ambassador to Your Excellency." "Where are the credentials?" "Somebody stole them." "I brought them." "What is he doing?" " Looking for the letters." " Letters?" " The credentials." " For what?" " They are for you." " Oh." "Here it is." "Oh, no, this is the gas bill." "Well..." "Here you are, boy." " It says here 37.50." " That is the date." " Date?" " Don't you know what day is today?" "Oh, yes." "Give me the letter." "The one in your hand." "It says, Troleburgo Gas Company." "Animated to strengthen the relationships between Pepeslavia and the Cocos, President Velendre entrusted me to give you his personal greetings and a vote of thanks to Pepeslavia." " What did he say?" " He expresses a vote of thanks." "But we don't have elections." " Answer him." " Answer who?" "The ambassador." "Oh, yes." "Your Excellency, ambassador of Troleburgo Gas Company..." "Of the Cocos Republic." "Oh, yes." "Your Excellency, ambassador of the Cocos gas company." " It's a great honor..." " Stop it." "I am not deaf." "Forget about pretence." "I am going to present you the personnel from my embassy." "Come on!" "Bunch of fools!" "They always embarrass me." "Lawyer, Mr. Tirso de la Pompa y Pompa, the embassy counselor." "Mr. President." "He gives me advice." "Can you believe that?" "Mr. Serafin Templado." "Third secretary, good boy." "Look at him." "Look at him." "He is always unsteady." "Gen. Leon Balarrasa, military attaché." "Hero of 100 battles." "Where he never was." "Naval attaché, Mr. Neptuno Aguado." "Sea dog." "As long as there aren't any waves, because he gets seasick." "What do you think?" "If you take into account the salary, you cannot ask for more." "Ambassador, in honor of Your Excellency and as a demonstration of our affection, let me give you the Chisel and Hammer Medal at great officer's level in the name of the Pepeslavia government." "It looks like gold, but it is a fake." "I want to thank you for honoring me, Excellency." "In return, I present you, in the name of my government the Custard Apple Medal at the great sheath's level." "You didn't tell me this was on the program." "This is pure gold, you can weigh it." "He is very kind." "Let's give him another one." "As a sign of the appreciation we have for you in Pepeslavia let me give you the Rasp Medal at the master's level." "Master, give me another one." "Mr. President, Excellency, your kindness overwhelms me." "In return, let me give you the national medal, the Tecocote." "It's so nice." "He's winning us over." "Another one." "The Strip from the Spoon and Plumb Brotherhood..." " ... in first shift's level." " Thank you." "Now, let me give you the Capulín Medal." "Oh, great!" "Let me put this one here." "What do you think?" " This one is nice." "Wait." " Are there more?" "Good." "I'm going to make you look like a Christmas tree." " And this one?" " The Order of the Avocado." "I have another one for you." "This one goes here." "I already have this one." "Then this one." "It is new." "It looks so nice here." "Wait a second, my president." "Oh, this is the dog collar." " Another one." " The Quince Medal." "The Quince Medal!" "This big chain is for you." "Go ahead, tie it up." "Make a knot with it." "This way." " Another one." " There are no more." "What?" "Now what are we going to give in return?" "My counselor." "Give me the First Communion medal you have in your pocket." " Ambassador..." " Shut up." "It's an emergency." "This is an international affair." "I will replace it later." "Thank you." "Look at this little medal." "It's miraculous." "Saint Expedito." "He gets you out of trouble." "A little medal!" "It's so nice." "Cheers." " For the pleasure." " Thank you." "We hope you stay here for a long time." "And I hope you put up with me." " Let's cross arms." " All right." "Your Excellency, the ambassador from Dolaronia." "Bring him in, Petrovsky." "Time is money." "It's a pleasure to shake your hand." "Excellency, according to the protocol, I was supposed to visit you first." "But you're always trying to get ahead." "There is no protocol between us." "Thank you very much, my dear ambassador." "You'll drink something with me." "It will be a pleasure." "What would you like?" "Gin, whiskey, brandy or vodka." "Vodka, no." "You can't drink it yet." " Whiskey and soda." " Whiskey and soda." "Do I bring the good one?" "All we have here is the best." "Bring the other one." " May we have a seat?" " It will be my pleasure." "Tell me, colleague, how has this country treated you?" " Is it too cold for you?" " Let me tell you, colleague I'm accustomed." "After 20 years in the service I got boiled in India and frozen in Alaska." " Twenty years?" " Yes, sir." "This changes everything." "I thought you were a newcomer..." " ... and this was your first mission." " No, colleague." "It's my first assignment as ambassador." "But I have experience in the service abroad." "I haven't been in high posts, but always in important ones." " To your health, ambassador." " To your health, Excellency." " Do you want to smoke?" " No, not now." "Thank you." "Did you lose something?" "What are you looking for?" "I am sorry." "These people hear everything." "The secret here is, we don't have secrets." "It's not good to talk about business in front of them." "They go to the secret service or the prime minister." "They are talkative." "You are right." "I came to talk with you about important business." "Tell me, Excellency." "As you know, the meeting is very soon and the Red Ones are looking for votes." "Same as the Green Ones." "I know your government will vote what we vote." "However, I would like to know your opinion." "Dear colleague, my opinion could be in a perspective or political angle, let's say, protocol." "I want to say, if you agree, and under the circumstances..." "First of all, is the international thing and according to the moment..." "Because many times, maybe you have been through this you say, why?" "But this goes on and on and then goes." "Up to this point, there is no problem." "But, if we can find a similar case..." "Why?" "Then the subject, in a way..." "I think there is a responsibility that we should, as politicians, diplomats and men with a conscience this way or that way." "That is my opinion on the matter." "What do you think?" "Gee." "I thought I understood Spanish perfectly." "But, frankly, I didn't understand one word you said." "I'm talking about high politics." " Are you leaving, Excellency?" " I just came to say hello." "If you need anything, just tell me." "Thank you for visiting me and..." "Come again." "Thank you very much." "I feel sorry for the translator of this conversation." "Ambassador López is not going to be a piece of cake." "Tania will have to use all her tricks in the reception." " Distinguished wife." " It's a pleasure." "The cultural attaché." "The ambassador from Oscadia." "Your Excellency." "Mr. López, the Cocos Republic ambassador." "It's a pleasure." " The counselor." " Minister." " It's a pleasure." " Hello." "It's a pleasure." "Mr. Ambassador." "Keep your eyes on the ambassador." "Coax him." "When the moment is right introduce him to Tania." "Then leave them alone." "But keeping an eye on them." "Don't worry, Comrade Poposky." "Everything is prepared." "Don't let the Green Ones monopolize him." "When they talk to him, interrupt them and take the ambassador to the other part of the ballroom." "Well, you'll have to excuse me." "Because the Dolaronia ambassador is trying to corner him." " Let me introduce you to my wife." " I want you to meet my niece." "My wife wants to know you, she used to live in the Cocos." "Her father was a manager there." "My niece finished her studies, and her special field is the Cocos archeology." "She wants to visit the ruins." "My wife wants to invite you for dinner." "Typical food." "She's a very good cook." "Mine too." "I mean, my niece." "She's a very good cook." "Dear colleague." "I wanted to meet you." "I saw in the papers you just presented credentials." "That's right, dear friend." "But I haven't had time to pay visits." "Who am I talking to?" "I'm the Zambombia ambassador." "I just arrived." "My country became free..." " ... three months ago." " That's good." "You are beginners." " As we say, just leaving the eggshell." " Exactly." "I'd like to exchange opinions with you if they allow me to do so." "You came just in time." "They almost tore off my arms, and I didn't bring a spare one." "It's the same with me." "The Green Ones and Red Ones are making me black." "Good for you." "Nobody can notice that." "What are the ambassadors from Cocos and Zambombia talking about?" "Maybe about food." "Look how the Zambombia ambassador from time to time presses the ambassador's arm with appetite." "Ambassador López will be just a side dish for him." "Both of them are very important right now." "In three weeks, the meeting will take place." "We need the votes from those countries." "The destiny of the world depends on that." "That's true." "The Cocos ambassador is talking to the Zambombia Tequesquite and Caramba ambassadors." "They are not with us." "What are they talking about?" "We must separate them before they come up with brilliant ideas." "Where is that idiot Vasily Vasilov who lets them be together." "I can see he's with a beautiful woman." "What a woman!" "Excellencies, I'd like to introduce my niece Miss Tania Mangovna." "The Cocos ambassador." "The Zambombia ambassador." "The Tequesquite ambassador." "The Caramba ambassador." "Wow, minister." "What a niece you have." "It comes from family." "She is great." "She finished her studies at the university." "My field is archeology." "I'm preparing my thesis on the Pipiteca Ruins." "I'd like to be a mummy." "There is no need for that." "By the way, could you lend me some pictures from the ruins?" "It will be a pleasure." "If we don't have them here, I'll send for them." "Thank you very much." "You are so kind." "All I want is to illustrate my thesis." "I'll take them back personally." "Even if you don't take them back." "It will be an honor to have you in my embassy." "I'll be glad to help you..." " ... because I know about excavations." " Did you study archeology?" "No, to be a dentist." "Ambassador, I love this music." "Do you want to dance?" "I haven't danced in a long time, but if you want to, I won't say no." "And if the Excellencies don't mind, I'll let you dance with her later." "We are buddies, and she's half-naked." "I think he won her heart." "She would be good in a tapioca sauce." "The Cocos ambassador has bitten the bait and the fishing rod." "Tania has never missed." "Put yourself in the place of the victims." "Nobody can resist her." "I'm sorry." "I thought it was my pocket." " I'm tired." " Yes, it's a hectic dance." "I never thought archeology and dance could go together." "I could dance the Swan Lake with you." "That will be difficult because I don't swim..." " ... and I'd need a larger scruff." " You make me crazy." "How am I going to finish my thesis?" "You are going to catch a cold." "I have to finish it." "Will you help me?" "Not much." "You're a grown-up girl." "You have everything." "Don't tickle me." "I am very sensitive and feel spasms." "Listen, Nitoshka..." "I mean, Taniuskita I don't know anything about archeology." "That's no problem." "I can teach you." "More?" "Just give me what I ask you for." "Don't ask me for everything at once so I can ask for something to get even." "Don't tickle me, because I feel stings." "Taniuskita, please cover up." "Poor Lopitos." "What clothes he had." "There is not much you can do with a fifth-rate chancellor wage." "But now it's going to be different." "I'll take care of him." "And forever." "My love has no retirement clause." "International Politics." "Volume Two." "This is in French." "I don't know why they write in French." "Come in." "Here is the mail." "That woman called again." "She will come at 9 p. m. to read you the chapter about Pipiteca ceramics." "Didn't you tell her I have an appointment?" "She never asks if she can come." "She announces herself." "It's been a week like this." "What a persistent woman." "You know I have a dinner at the Zambombia Embassy." " You could have told her that." " I'm nobody to interfere." "I just follow orders." "I'm a simple secretary." "Lolis, why do you say that?" "You are not a simple secretary to me." "Then I'm a very simple secretary." "So simple that I thought you were different." "But I can see my mistake." "You are like the others." "Come on." "Why do you say that?" "Because it's true." "You couldn't resist all the adulation." "If you think that woman only wants you for your nice eyes, you're wrong." "Her interest is the Cocos archeology." "She wants some pictures." "To lend her them should be enough." "But why does she have to come?" "Are you giving her the pictures in pieces?" " You know what?" " What?" "I like you when you are jealous." "Jealous?" "Well, that's what I needed." "You are my boss." "I am here to follow orders and take notes." "I don't care about your personal matters." "Then I order you not to act like a fool and to understand she's the minister's niece and I can't be rude with her." "And even though she's very good I don't feel anything for her." "I don't care about your personal matters." "Then let's not talk about it." "If she calls again, tell her I'm busy or I'm out." "Or I'm preparing my speech for the meeting." "All right." "Do you need anything else?" "Of course." "But you are too mad to ask you for anything." "We can talk when you feel better." "If she only knew she's the one I love." "As you used to say, godfather:" ""We have to make them feel the severity of protocol. "" "Isn't that so?" "What happens to the splendorous flower from my faraway tropic?" "Nothing, Mr. Sera." "Nothing." "Calm down." "Don't feel bad." "I ran out of gas and feel drier than a mummy." "Talking about mummies, and since you are a cultivated man..." " ... what do you know about archeology?" " Before I entered the service a long time ago, I was assistant to the museum director in the Cocos." "I was close to the Pipiteca idols." "To the Pipitecas?" "I have to ask you a favor, Mr. Sera." "There is someone very interested in our country's archeology." "She's doing her thesis and asked the ambassador for some data." "So?" "So the ambassador knows nothing about archeology." "And he's busy preparing the meeting." "Could you help that person, Mr. Sera?" "I'd be glad to, Lolita." "But archeology is an arid science." "And a speech about the Pipiteca culture dries the throat." "Don't worry." "I'll supply you with one, two, three bottles." "With an offer like that, I could give a conference not only about archeology, but Chinese culinary art too." " When do we start?" " Today at 9:00 in the private parlor." "Your pupil and bottles will be waiting for you." "And the princess went to the priest and told him:" ""You give me Feather on the Wind back or I'll tell my father, the king. "" "The priest answered:" ""Don't threaten me or I'll turn you into a plant. "" "Go on, Serafin." "You know what?" "You remind me of my mother." "In all my life, I've never been compared to a mother." "What can we do?" "So you like the stories?" "Here is another one." "You'll see." "By the riverside of Tutulcán Lake whose waters change colors according to the mood of the person watching them a long time ago there was a temple that according to the legend..." "This is unprecedented, incredible, unacceptable." "I'm not having you executed, because I'm looking for another way." "All these years training you." "Modeling you to be the best secret agent in the party." "Step by step, I trusted you with delicate missions." "And I did well, no?" "That's why I trusted you." "I thought you could accomplish an easy mission but most important, to get the vote from the Cocos ambassador." "And what happens?" "You go every day to the embassy and come out of there drunk." "The ambassador is impassive and has no intention to compromise his vote with anyone." "Instead, I'm learning archeology." "It may be useful in the catacombs where I'm going to bury you alive." "I lost my mother when I was 10." "The Red Ones killed her when they took the power." "I never met my father." "He died in the war." "The only nice memory from my childhood is my mother telling me fairy tales to fall asleep no matter if we were dying from starvation and coldness." "I found happiness again." "And that happiness consists of that ambassador lulling you to sleep with fairy tales." "No, but Secretary Templado lulls me to sleep with Pipiteca tales." "Pipi, what?" "Pipiteca." "Observing too much tension in the Green Ones and in the Red Ones." "Period." "Before meeting Red Ones and Green Ones have the same number of votes." "Consequentially, our country's vote will be conclusive." "Period." "Sincerely, the ambassador, Mr. So-and-so..." "Those useless things." "What do you think?" "I didn't know you could dictate so well." "After all these years..." "No." "I wasn't ambassador before, but I paid attention." "Write it down and give it to the counselor to encode it..." " ... and send it tonight." " Perfect." " Lolita." " Yes?" "Please keep this letter for me." "It is for the president and send it 24 hours before the closing of the meeting." "Don't worry." "I'll do it myself." "Anything else?" "What do you think about going to dinner at the Italian restaurant?" " I'd be glad to, if you want." " Of course I want." "Tell the butler I won't be dining here tonight." "But I'll have breakfast early." "I have to be in the office at 9:00." " At 11:00 is the meeting." " As you say, ambassador." "Go, dress quickly." "Let me know when you are ready..." " ... to get into those noodles." " All right, Lopitos." "Your Excellencies, representatives from all the countries on the earth." "Mr. General Secretary of this meeting." "In the name of the people and government of Pepeslavia I welcome you." "Our country, located in the middle of ancient Europe is the host for this important meeting where all the countries have come to solve the problems of mankind in an atmosphere of peace and harmony." "In the name of all the countries I declare open this international meeting." "Representatives, before we start to discuss we'll hear the points of view of all the speakers." "According to the inscription order now it's the Borlonia representative's turn." "Your Excellency, president of Pepeslavia Republic Mr. General Secretary representatives of all the countries of the earth." "I'm sorry the first words you hear in this meeting are to denounce one more time the unclear maneuvers of the Green Powers." "This morning, representatives I read in the papers that the imperialists cut off the energy in Gormondia because they didn't pay and resumed the firing in Chin-Chun-Fao." "How long will the proletariat tolerate the trampling of its rights?" "False!" "False!" "What the representative says is false." "The cutoff was due to a short circuit." "A short circuit provoked by the Red Ones." "Silence, gentlemen!" "Order, please!" "Silence!" "And this is just the beginning." "Let them feel confident and there will be a mess." "I'm glad I picked up a stone on my way here." "Now it's the representative of Salchichonia's turn." "I represent a country that has put the world upside down several times." "My country has given to the world great philosophers great musicians, great inventors and great beatings!" "We have given great stimulus to science." "But we have also caused, and I have to admit it great destruction!" "Two times in this century we have unchained great hecatombs!" "But we have paid for it." "Our country was left with untold numbers of dead." "Our country was left in ruins." "However, we recovered again because we have initiative and a great work ethic." "We emerged from the ashes." "But we emerged painfully divided." "Yes, painfully divided by a fence!" " How do you write "fence"?" " With an F." "Order, gentlemen!" "Silence, please!" "Order!" "Silence!" "Silence!" "Silence." "Order, gentlemen." "Divided by a fence as if we were an inhabited lot." "However, I came here, not to complain but to ask the world to look at our example." "Without diversity mankind is in danger of being permanently divided by an ignominious fence by a fence of shame." "Not by a fence made of bricks but a fence made of intolerance, suspicion hate and aversion." "And why all this?" "Because some of us think in Green and some of us think in Red!" "An some of us don't think at all." "I'm asking you, delegates of all the countries in the world that we join together to destroy the fences that keep us apart." "This is getting worse." "If you see any agglomeration, watch the briefcase." "I'll watch my wallet." "You never know." "Silence, gentlemen!" "Silence!" "Silence!" "And now the representative of Dolaronia." "Mr. President, Mr. General Secretary." "Dear colleagues." "Ladies and gentlemen." "I agree with the president of Pepeslavia in the sense that we need to find the formula to live in peace as good neighbors." "I also agree with the colleague from Salchichonia." "That is, we should pull down the fence that divides us." "We think we've found the formula for this problem." "And it's really simple." "The general well-being based on personal well-being." "When man solves his basic problems like housing, clothing and sustenance when man has life insurance and money in the bank his mentality changes completely, and he becomes more tolerant." "He is less aggressive." "He plays golf and pats his neighbor on the back." "My government is ready to start a financing program giving the credits needed for all the inhabitants of the world to have, at least, a car electrical appliances for the kitchen refrigerators automatic washing machines and TV sets." "He forgot the blenders and irons." "They are very useful at home." "My government believes this is the ideal formula for the world to live peacefully and in happiness." "However..." "However, and just for the doubts we are ready to preserve the order through an international police force." "Silence, please!" "Order, gentlemen!" "Silence, gentlemen!" "Order." "Silence, please." "Representatives, silence." "Please!" "Silence!" "If there is another mess like this, I will have to suspend the session." "And now the representative of Caramba." "Representatives!" "The only thing I have to say is that it's almost 1:30 and we have lunch at the presidency." "This is the only thing we agree on unanimously: to eat or drink." "Gentlemen the session is tabled to attend the banquet offered by the president of Pepeslavia." "The 4:30 session will be at 6:30." "At 7:00 we'll attend the reception offered by the International Affairs ministry." "In a month, we'll be hearing speaker number 80." "Wait for the discussions." "And the redaction of documents." "There are some issues 20 years old, and for a comma they don't reach an agreement." "Go and eat your barbecue while they solve that, and everything is fine." "Lolita." "Excuse me." "Lolita, where are you?" "I thought you had turned black." "DECEMBER" "Order!" "THE MEETING CONTINUES" "DECEMBER" "And remember, ambassadors, delegates this is the third time I come up here to plead you, to beg you to think of world peace." "Oh, my God." "We're not going to make it for dinner at the San Fermín Embassy." "And the Arabian colleague talking in parts." "If we make it, we'll have to eat what's left." "Let's hope he doesn't dance the belly dance." "For the moment, we inform the world:" "No small payments, all cash." "No petroleum, no dates." "No camels, no blankets, no rugs for those who say hello to our enemies." "Now the representative of Los Cocos." "Prime minister." "International Affairs minister." "General secretary." "Representatives." "Dear colleagues and friends." "I happen to be the last speaker, and I feel glad for that because now you are tired." "I know that, despite the insignificance of my country with no military power, no political or economical power and a lot less atomic power, all of you await my response since my vote will decide the triumph of the Green Ones or the Red Ones." "Representatives this is a crucial moment where mankind confronts mankind itself." "This is a historic moment where man, scientifically and intellectually, is a giant." "But, morally, he is a pygmy." "The world opinion is divided into two irreconcilable groups." "Now one single vote the vote from a weak and small country can make the scale go to one side or the other." "We are in a great scale having the Green Ones in one pan and the Red Ones in the other pan." "And here I come, a featherweight man capable of changing the balance depending on the side I choose." "Don't you think it is too much responsibility for one citizen?" "Because I don't think it's fair that half of mankind be condemned to live under a regime they don't like just because a frivolous ambassador had voted or had been obliged to vote for one or for the other side." "That's why the one who is talking to you your friend, me will not vote for either group." "Order, gentlemen!" "Silence, please!" "Order, gentlemen!" "Order!" "Order!" "This is due to three reasons:" "First:" "Because it wouldn't be fair to have one representative's vote decide the destiny of a hundred nations." "Second:" "Because I believe that the procedures I repeat I remark the procedures of the Red Ones are disastrous." "Order, gentlemen!" "Order!" "Silence, please!" "And third:" "Because I believe the procedures of the Green Ones are not decent!" "Order, gentlemen!" "Order!" "Shut up or I won't say anything else and you won't know what I had to say." "Secretary, use the hammer." "This is a mess." "Silence, please!" "I am talking about procedures, not about ideas or doctrines." "For me, any idea is respectable no matter if it is a little or a great idea." "Or if I don't agree." "What this man thinks or this one or that one there who doesn't think at all, because he fell asleep doesn't impede our friendship." "We all think the way we are, the way we live the way we think and the way we walk are the best." "And we try to impose them on the others." "If they don't accept them then we start to fight." "Do you believe that's correct?" "Life will be easier if we respect the way others live." "A hundred years ago, one of the most important men in our continent said:" ""Respect for another's right is peace. "" "This pleases me." "Not that you applaud me but that you recognize the sincerity of my words." "I agree with the representative from Salchichonia." "Humbly, like independent bricklayers, we must fight to pull down the fence dividing us." "The fence of the incomprehension, the fence of distrust the fence of hate." "When we do that we can say we jumped over the fence." "But not the fence of the ideas." "Not that one." "Never." "The day we think and act alike, we'll no longer be men but machines, robots." "That's the error of the Red Ones." "To impose by force their ideas, their political and economical systems." "They talk about liberties, but I ask them:" "Do those liberties exist in your countries?" "They say they defend rights of the proletariat but their own workers don't even have the right to strike." "They talk about the universal culture of the masses but they jail those writers who dare tell the truth." "They talk about the self-determination of nations but they oppress other nations and don't let them choose the government system they deem best." "How can we vote for a system that talks about dignity and thereupon tramples the most sacred thing:" "The freedom of conscience." "They eliminate, or pretend to eliminate, God by decree." "No, representatives." "I cannot be with the Red Ones or with their procedures." "I respect the way they think." "But I can't give my vote and help them to implant their system in the world." "Whoever wants to be a Red One, be a Red One." "But don't try to dye the others." "Wait a moment, wait a moment, boys." "Why are you so sensitive?" "You don't accept anything." "No, I haven't finished yet." "Sit down." "I know you leave the meetings when you hear something you don't like." "But I haven't finished yet." "Sit down." "Don't be precipitous." "I still have to say something about the Green Ones." "Don't you want to hear?" "Sit down." "I also know Russian." "Oh, my God." "This is vodka." "Cheaters." "And now, my Green colleagues, what did you say?" "He's going to vote for us." "No, my boys." "I won't vote for you, because you are responsible too for the world situation." "You are arrogant too." "You think you are the world and the rest have a relative importance." "Even though you talk about peace, democracy and beautiful things sometimes you try to impose your will by force." "By the force of money." "I agree when you say we should fight for collective and individual well-being." "To fight poverty and solve the problems of housing, clothing and sustenance." "But I don't agree with the way you try to solve those problems." "You've lost your fight against materialism." "You've forgotten the values of the spirit to concentrate only on business." "Little by little, you've become the creditors of mankind." "That's why mankind doesn't trust you." "On opening day the Dolaronia ambassador said that the remedy for our problems was to have cars, refrigerators, TV sets." "And I ask myself:" "What do we want cars for if we don't have shoes?" "Why do we need refrigerators when we don't have food to fill them?" "What do we want tanks and weapons for if we don't have enough schools for our children?" "We must try to make man think about peace." "But not only because of his preservation instinct but for his responsibility to excel and make the world a place of peace worthy of mankind and its high destiny." "But this won't be possible if there is not abundance for all welfare, happiness for all and social justice." "It's in the hands of the powerful countries, Green Ones and Red Ones to help us, the weak countries." "But not with gifts or loans or military alliances." "Help us by paying a fair price for our raw material." "Help us by sharing your advances in science in technique." "But not to make bombs, but to fight hunger and misery." "Help us by respecting our customs, our beliefs our dignity as human beings and our personality as nations no matter how small and weak we are." "Practice tolerance and fraternity and we will know how to correspond." "Stop treating us like pawns in the political chess." "Recognize us as we are." "Not only as customers or experimental guinea pigs but as human beings who feel, who suffer who cry." "Representatives, I have another reason not to vote:" "I resigned as ambassador 24 hours ago." "I hope it will be accepted." "Consequentially, I haven't talked to you as an Excellency but as a citizen, as a free man." "Like an ordinary man who yearns to convey the desire of all men:" "The desire to live in peace." "The desire to be free." "The desire to bequeath to our sons and to the sons of our sons a better world in which goodwill and harmony reign." "How easy it would be to accomplish that better world where all men white, black, yellow and coppery, rich and poor can live like brothers." "If we were not so blind so stubborn so proud..." "If only we lived by the words spoken 2000 years ago by that humble carpenter from Galilee." "Simple barefoot with no suit or medals." "Love." "Love one another." "Unfortunately, you didn't understand." "Confused the terms." "And what have you done?" "What are you doing?" "Arming yourselves against one another." "I've spoken." " Good night, Excellency." " Good night, my friend." "Your Excellency." "Thank you."