"[young man] My father died in 1995, but I keep talking to him inside my head." "Hey, Dad." "Look at these drawings." "I made them of you in the hospital after your stroke, just before you died." "Remember you used to like the way I drew when I was a little boy?" "[old man] I look a pretty bad." "The night you died, I had a dream about you." "You dream about me, John?" "Yes, Dad." "I dreamed you turned into the man in the moon." "[laughs] I was the man in the moon?" "That's nice." "Yes, and my brother and I took turns feeding you." "Like you both feed me in the hospital?" "Yes." "But you turned into a snapping turtle and you bit us and you made us cry." "What the hell kind of crazy dream is that, huh?" "Dishonorato!" "Stupido!" "I bite my sons?" "No respect." "There, you see how mad you got just now?" "That's what the dream was about." "Well, what do you mean, Giovanni?" "You were always angry." "See, that's what I remember most about you." "When I was a kid, you were always blowing your top about something and you took it out on me, my little brother Tony, and Mom." "Sometimes I getta mad and I blow my top." "I can't help." "Why were you angry?" "That's what I want to know." "It was always there just under the surface." "Look." "[alarm blaring]" "Look." "Here we are all in 1958." "The whole family." "Mom, you Dad, my brother Tony, our cousin Agnes." "Oh, boy." "We were a classic dysfunctional family." "[record needle drags] [heart beating]" "Hey, what do you mean, John?" "Disfunc?" "Well, you would get mad at me and Tony and then Mom would protect us." "And you'd threaten her and we'd jump in between the both of you." "Then you'd slap us down." "And again she'd jump to the rescue." "That would leave you alone, and still angry." "Yeah," "I was always alone, fighting alone." "What were you fighting alone?" "Respect, John." "You have no happy memories of your father?" "Well, yes, sure." "Yeah, I do remember the nights when you'd come home from the little bar and hotel that you owned, and you would" "I-I'd throw pennies to you kids on the floor." "Remember?" "Remember how you laughed?" "Yeah, yeah, yeah." "Pennies from heaven." "Pennies from heaven." "And I always like your drawings." "I help you make your first cartoon movie when you was in high school." "Remember that?" "Yeah, I remember." "I built a table you used to shoot the drawing, son." "And I get you the plastic sheets you paint on." "Yes, I remember that you did help me make my first cartoon films, and that is something about you that I love and will always be grateful for." "But somehow the unhappy memories are stronger." "Whether you were angry and unhappy with yourself and your life." "And you took it out on us." "What do you mean unhappy?" "Why was I angry?" "You tell me!" "I remember the phone call that came in the middle of the night when I was eight years old." "What was that all about?" "[ringing]" "[woman] Why don't you answer it?" "[old man] I'm too tired." "It might be something important." "[woman] Something may be wrong." "[old man] All right." "Hello?" "What is it, Johnny?" "The hotel." "She's on fire!" "[siren blaring] [young man] It was obvious somebody set that fire on purpose." "Was it you, Dad?" "Did you do it?" "[old man] No, no." "I don't do." "But I know it was gonna happen." "See, I need insurance money." "I have to pay back the loan to the bigger guys." "They want it quick." "Did Mom know that?" "No." "No!" "I also remember the bright Sunday morning that you were arrested." "You remember that, John?" "Yes." "I'll never forget that horrible day." "Your lawyer questioned Mom about it at the trial." "[deep-voice man] Now did there come a time, Mrs. Cannizzaro, when some police officers came to your house and arrested John?" "[woman] Yes, sir." "[deep-voice man] Who was there?" "[woman] My mother-in-law, my two children, and a cousin of mine." "John had taken his shower and he came down with just his trousers and socks on." "They came through the side door." "You can hear all these feet coming through the side door." "And we were eating, and we looked up." "And they were standing in the door." "I didn't leave the table." "They came there and gave him a paper and told him he was under arrest." "He said, "What do want me to do?"" "[deep-voice man] Did he resist them?" "Did he try to run?" "[woman] No, Sir." "[deep-voice man] Were your children there?" "[young man] Yes, we were." "We saw it all." "Tell him, Mom." "[woman] They were screaming!" "[high-voice man] I object to that, if the court please, and ask that it be stricken out." "[male judge] Strike it out." "Disregard it." "[deep-voice man] Were the children there, Mrs. Cannizzaro?" "[woman] Yes, sir." "[young man] That's right, Mom." "We saw everything." "[deep-voice man] And in what manner did they take your husband out of there?" "[woman] He wanted to know if he could put some clothes on." "And he went to get up off the chair." "Whoever it was said, "Handcuff that man."" "John told them," ""You don't have to put those on in front of my children."" "I asked the policeman if he had any children of his own." "The handcuffs, they had notches on there and they tore his wrists to pieces!" "[young man] We didn't know why you were taken away." "[high-voice man] If the court please, I ask the court to admonish the witness." "[young man] Where are you taking him?" "Stop." "Stop!" "[male judge] Strike it out." "Jury, disregard it." "[young man] At the trial, my brother and I were brought in for sympathy even though we had the measles." "I was eight, my brother six." "God, was I embarrassed." "I was afraid my schoolmates would see my picture in the paper." "[high-voice man] Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, the motive is obvious." "John Cannizzaro, acting alone, or in consort with someone else, had sunk a lot of money into a bum investment and he had to get it out." "[young man] You looked like a trapped animal." "Not like my father." "You were scared." "Tried to make jokes." "[old man] Why would I need a bail of hay?" "I don't have no cows." "[laughs]" "I couldn't tell the truth." "I no wanna lie, but I have to." "I was thinking of my wife and you two kids." "They would kill us." "[young man] Who would have killed us?" "You never answered that question." "[high-voice man] Arson, ladies and gentlemen, is an unusual crime." "For by its very nature, it is a secret crime." "A crime performed alone and in the nighttime." "[siren blaring]" "You take any item you want, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, and try to link it up with John Cannizzaro, and it fits like a glove." "[deep-voice man] Your Honor, no doubt this family is going to have to start all over again." "If the wife has to dispose of all this property, she and her two children will have to become wards of the state." "[male judge] I have no choice." "The utmost leniency on my part is a statute provided for a second offender." "State prison in Attica, New York, for a period not less than 12 and a half years, and not more than 26 years." "[young man] I remember the long drives we made to visit you in prison." "Part of me was glad you went away." "You didn't just burn down a hotel." "You burned down a family." "[old man] They no allow you to kiss your father." "Prison was terrible." "I'm sure it was, Dad." "It's damn hard for us at home too." "A priest at our church told Mom he would appreciate it if we didn't worship in his parish." "Wake up, Mom." "It's time." "Mom got a job working the midnight shift as a nurse's aide in a hospital maternity ward." "I didn't want to wake her up each night to go to work." "She was so tired." "But once she got all made up, she looked beautiful and smelled good." "She loved her work." "And her coworkers loved her and her quick Irish sense of humor." "You would have been proud of her." "I get out of the jail after five years for good behavior." "Yeah, I was a newspaper boy when you got out and I remember how ashamed I was of the headlines." "My schoolmates called me "jailbird."" "I threw the papers and ran away hoping my customers wouldn't read them until after I was gone." "Come on, Dad." "Speak to me." "Jailbird to jailbird." "What the hell happened, Dad?" "Tell me about your life." "Why do you want to bring all of that up for?" "I'm a long time dead and gone, you know." "Why did you do the things you did?" "You really want to know about me?" "Yes, I really want to know the truth." "The truth?" "Yes, please." "Let's-- let's start at the beginning." "Tell me-- tell me in which part of Italy were you born?" "Okay." "I was born in 1907 in Hazelton of Pennsylvania." "What?" "Pennsylvania?" "Wait a minute." "How come you speak broken English with an Italian accent?" "I'll explain to you, Giovanni." "Let me explain." "My parents were born in Italy, but they meet and get married in the United States." "Where did your dad work?" "My father was working in the coal mine in Hazelton, Pennsylvania." "The only thing I can see when he came home was a little light on his forehead." "That must have been a tough life." "In 1908 in southern Italy there was a" "What do you call it?" "What do you call it?" "Shaking the house?" "What do you call them?" "You mean an earthquake?" "Yeah, yeah." "Terrible earthquake and tidal wave in Calabria where they came from." "Did they know about it in Pennsylvania?" "They hear about it in America, and they want to know if their family is still living or not." "So what did they do?" "So when I'm a-two years old, they take me with them when they go back to Italy." "Wow." "Your parents gave up their life in America." "What was Italy like then, Dad?" "Well, it was rough, John." "We were poor." "How big was your family?" "Four more kids were born." "Did my grandma work?" "My mother, she was working extra washing clothes." "What did your father do?" "My father, he work cutting trees 50 cents an hour for eight hours." "They sell them to make barrels." "When I was about seven years old, he got me a job out there." "I never knew that." "You were only seven and you had to go to work?" "They do anything in Italy." "I get-a 10 cents a day putting a wedge in there." "Boy, I couldn't have done that job." "I had no shoes on." "The other guy pinch my feet and I cry." "I says to my father, "I no go there no more."" ""Yes, you will," he say." ""No, I don't." My mother say, "No!"" "So I stay home." "What would we have done without our mothers, huh, Dad?" "Did she send you to school?" "I go to third grade and that's all." "I read and write in Italian, not in English." "I used to help my grandfather." "Oh, yes." "He was a shepherd, wasn't he?" "Yeah." "And they pay him to put sheep and goat on the land and they-- caca." "You know, make manure." "They fertilize." "At night we used to sleep there." "Build a fire, get a couple of stones, put a blanket so you don't hurt your head and put your feet down in the fire." "When he died, he had one sheep and one goat." "How did he die?" "Goddamn goat pull him and his shepherd's stick broke and it went through his side." "No" " Nono mio." "Nono." "Nono mio!" "So you were on your own again?" "I grow up, and all the time I'm in Calabria" "I want to come back to America." "But my mother said I couldn't do anything about it." "You know, it-it was rough." "So I get-a mixed up with the bigger guys." "Mafia." "Mafia." "I was the youngest guy in there." "I rob the stuff for them and take it down to the city, Palermo in Sicily." "Oranges, fruit, olives, sugar." "I bring some home to my mother." "My mother used to give me hell." "You goin' to get in trouble!" "You goin' to get in trouble!" "[whistle] [screaming]" "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "They put me in jail for a couple of days." "And my mother make such a fuss, they put her in the jail cell too." "My grandmother went to jail too?" "[door slams]" "At night she keep hollering:" "John, are you all right?" "Stai bene, Giovanni?" "Come stai?" "Stai bene, Giovanni?" "Come stai?" "Stai bene, Giovanni?" "Come stai?" "I wonder what my life would've been like if you had listened to your mother." "Oh, she was a wonderful, wonderful woman." "[crying softly]" "So how did you get back to the United States?" "One of the bigger guys says he thinks I'm an American citizen." "He get-a my birth certificate and a passport." "That's right." "You were born in America." "I promised the Blessed Mother, if I ever make good in the United States of America, someday I come back and donate bells to the church in our town." "In 1925 I come over here." "America." "I was 18 years old." "You made it, Dad." "You were coming home." "You could make a fresh start." "One of the bigger guys met my boat." "They want me in this country real bad." "I stayed down in New York City a couple of years." "I work, you know, them carriages you push, you sell the fruit." "Mott Street, Mulberry Street." "They used to be all Italian there." "I wanted to bring my family to this country." "That was all I was thinking about." "I need money." "But pushing a cart for the mob, you couldn't make much money." "They make big money, but they give you little money." "I moved upstate." "I get a job as a boilermaker's helper on the railroad in Harnell, New York." "The damn thing was too hot, you know." "But it sounds like you got away from the mob." "Didn't you, Dad?" "Didn't you?" "I no like that damn job." "In 1931, I was arrested for violating Prohibition law." "I was working for the bigger guys selling bootleg liquor." "[siren blaring]" "Eh, they put me on probation." "But then I get in a fight and I shoot someone." "You shot a guy?" "Yeah." "So they sent me away for assault to state prison for two and a half years." "So you're now in jail in America." "I was 25 years old." "When I got out, I work on the Lehigh Valley Railroad again as a boilermaker's assistant, and I tend the bar part-time." "So much for rags to riches." "What happened then?" "Then I meet your mother." "Ah, Mom." "How did you two meet anyway?" "She was working in a beauty parlor across the hall from where I get-a the haircut." "So it was love at first sight." "Oh, she was a beautiful woman." "I was a pretty good-looking guy." "[laughs] She used to say that." "Did you get married right away?" "We want to get married, but my people don't want because she's Irish." "And her people, they no want her to marry me 'cause I'm a wop." "She was 36 and I was 34." "So we weren't no spring chickens." "So we get married secretly." "You were married in 1941." "You was born in 1943." "But you weren't around very long, were you?" "I have to leave because I was drafted in the Army." "World War II infantry." "What happened to you in the war, Dad?" "I go to France, end up on Omaha Beach." "Wow!" "D-Day." "Then they put us in a boxcar to Belgium." "We ride the tank with General Patton." "They no care if they kill you." "They want to save the tank." "We end up in Germany in the Ruhr River before the ride." "7:00 in the morning, they threw everything at us." "I get hit in the back." "Got bullets in my front." "The Germans look all around and we stayed down." "You were a hero, Dad." "You got the Purple Heart." "I got-a two Purple Hearts, John." "Two." "I remember at your funeral in 1995, 50 years after the war ended, the old veteran soldiers gave you a 21-gun salute." "By the time I get back to United States, your brother was born." "Your family was getting bigger." "Now I have a wife and two kids." "I have to get a job." "I work as a laborer in Elmira, New York." "I feel like a cockroach." "I want something better." "I'm an American citizen." "I'm a veteran." "I'm a hero." "I want to bring my people here." "I want the goddamn American dream!" "So what did you do?" "I buy a small hotel near a railroad station." "Good location." "Sounds good." "But where did you get the money?" "I get a loan from some bigger guys." "I also buy a house for your mother and you kids." "Then I bring my mother and father over here from Italy." "So I buy another house for the rest of the family that was coming." "I was in debt." "It was hard to make a living." "I can't pay back the loan fast enough." "Your heart was in the right place, but you took another shortcut." "So the bigger guys say they will burn the place down, and I give them the insurance money." "You were a stand-up guy for your mafia buddies." "The big guys again?" "Yeah." "It was a mess." "Now, who was your real family, Dad?" "The mafia or us?" "You left us again, this time for five years." "And when you got out of prison?" "When I come back, nobody give me a job." "Finally, your mother was able to get me work as a maintenance man in the hospital where she work." "She work night." "I work day." "I work there 17 years 'til I retire with a good pension." "And after you got out of jail," "I wish I could say things were better at home, but they were not." "Mealtime with all the cousins were the worst." "Full of tension and your sudden explosions." "We have a lot of good things at home, remember?" "Yes, I remember." "I remember." "We always have enough food and a nice supper." "We always have spaghetti with meatballs for you when you come home." "Always a good tomato sauce." "Yeah." "Mom was a great cook." "I teach your mother how to cook." "Bostino soup with a little fresh chicken eggs and cooked celery." "No, thank you." "I've have enough." "We have a nice salad with oil and hot peppers." "You like them." "No, really." "I'm full." "Nice sour wine, Chianti." "Salute!" "Eat!" "Eat!" "Eat all your food!" "I hate that damned cooked celery!" "What's the matter, eh?" "You eat the cooked celery." "If you don't finish, you'll get-a slapped!" "Eat, goddamn ungrateful bastardo!" "Dishonorato!" "Long-legged gambulo!" "No respect for your father and mother." "Get the hell outta here!" "You'll never make it!" "As a boy, I was afraid of you." "I never seemed to please you, Dad." "Your words were worse than getting slapped." "They made me ashamed for failing you." "I still can't get them out of my head." "[shouting in Italian]" "You're no good." "Dishonorato!" "Bastardo!" "Bum!" "A failure!" "[Italian]" "Sissy!" "Sissy!" "[Italian]" "You'll never make it." "No hay respecto por tu padre, tu madre!" "No respect for your father and mother." "No good!" "No good!" "I was miserable when you came back." "All I could think of was escaping you." "I left home for New York City when I was 18." "That's what you did when you were 18." "Same age, same city." "Same need to get out and succeed." "We're a lot alike, Giovanni." "Yes, in some ways." "I got away from your dark and stormy rages." "I finally could breathe easier and had time to figure things out for myself and what I wanted to do with my life." "I felt guilty because I failed in protecting Mom." "But I had to get away." "Remember those cartoons you helped me with?" "I kept doing them, and now I'm an animator." "Animation was a world I could completely control, instead of being controlled by you." "Mom and Tony weren't so lucky." "For three more decades, they and even my brother's wife and children felt the brunt of your crazy anger." "And Mom" "Mom was in her own prison." "You put her there." "I wish she had the strength to leave you, but she stuck by you, even when she suspected there may be other women." "And slowly she withdrew into a haze of pills, cigarette smoke, and alcohol." "Finally she just wilted away." "Two years before you died, you seemed to want to bring some kind of peace into your life." "You and I had a long talk and you told me all the family secrets." "And then just before you died, you took one last trip to Italy." "You traveled alone back to the small town in Calabria, Italy where you grew up." "I donate a set of electric bells to the local church." "John, you remember." "I promised the Blessed Mother 60 years before, John." "I tell her if I ever made good in United States of America, someday I'd come back and I'd give her the bells to the church." "I keep my promise." "Who the hell cares about you and your goddamn bells?" "What did I get?" "What did Mom and Tony get?" "Dishonorato!" "Stupido!" "You said you would make a film about me!" "This is the film." "This is what I think about you." "This is how I remember you." "And I'm damn sure it is not the film you hoped for." "But it's the conversation we could never have." "And the only way I'm able to get you out of my head is to keep you at a distance like the man in the moon." "Far enough away that you can't hurt me." "Bright enough so that I can never be able to forget you." "The night you died, I had a dream about you, Dad." "You dreamed about me, John?" "Yes, Dad." "I dreamed that you turned into the man in the moon." "[chuckling]" "I was-a the man in the moon." "That's nice." "Mm-hmm." "That's nice."