"Previously on "Veronica Mars"..." "Where did you hide the cashbox?" "The two places you looked for it." "I had to go back later and add the incriminating $50 bill." "Do you think you can ever really leave gang life behind?" "Yeah, I miss it." "I miss having cash in my pocket." "The world doesn't stop because you decided to show up." "I can barely live with myself sometimes, and it's so much easier when you're not around!" "Take a look around." "It's dead week." "Everyone's walking around half-Crazy." "Yeah, well, I just hope Piz isn't planning on moping his way through the remainder of freshman year." "It's not like I'm taking an internship at a mister softee in wachuta." "It's the FBI." "The FBI." "At the very least, Piz should think it's hot." "Actually, he does think it's pretty hot." "He'd just think it was hotter if I were doing it in Neptune." "He wants to date you and be near you?" "Greedy little bugger." "And if he didn't care, I'd probably be complaining about that... to my girlfriend... while waiting to pay for frozen yogurt." "I'm a girl." " Have we moved in the last five minutes?" " Uh, backwards, I think." "Have you considered letting Piz know you're... bummed about the prospect of being apart from him this summer?" "Simple, direct, honest?" "Mac, that's almost crazy enough to work!" "Just sharing my vast relationship wisdom." "Give me back my damn card!" "No." "She's right here..." "The one with her mouth open." "What's with the food police?" "She has the right to remain famished." "Stowe." "What?" "It's Harriet Beecher Stowe." "Um, excuse me, can I sit down?" "My knee's killing me, man." "Oh, right." "Your knee." "And you did this on the job?" "I only ask because a lot of you maintenance fellows like to play basketball over lunch break." "That's why I didn't file for sportsman's comp, see, 'cause I hurt my knee moving a busted washing machine across the campus." "Says here you spent a little time in prison last year." "So did Martha Stewart." "Now, does that mean I don't get my benefits?" "No, it just means..." "How shall I put this?" "A lot of people look at a thriving private institution like Hearst and they see..." "Well, they see deep pockets." "I'm not trying to con you, man." "But you can appreciate why we have to be so thorough in these matters." "I will pass your claim along to the review board, and you can expect a decision in the next month or so." "A month?" "What am I supposed to do until then..." "Hop around on one leg?" "Just... do your best." "Answer it." "Hello?" "Hey." "What are you doing?" "I'm calling you from FBI headquarters in Virginia" "Because I miss you." "And I'm very sweet." "You miss me, huh?" "I do." " Who's that?" " What?" "Do you have a girl in your room?" "This long-Distance thing is hard." "I mean, this internship is the opportunity of a lifetime, and I couldn't be enjoying it more, but..." "I so wish I could be with you right now." "Well, how about that?" "It's like I never left." "Yeah, those 12 weeks just flew by." "No, they didn't." "They took forever." "All those weeks of thinking about you, and... and missing you... and all those pent-up feelings." "What am I ever gonna do with all of them?" "I have a couple..." " million suggestions." " Hmm." "Mmm." "So, what are these suggestions?" "Oh, you know, you don't need them." "Does it involve me..." "Doing a sort of dance-squad-like routine?" "Perhaps a cheer?" "Actually, it does." " I was kidding." " Then no." "Did it involve me being naked?" "It did." "If I'm understanding you correctly, a student I.D. card is basically like money." "Exactly." "Kids can buy stuff anywhere on campus..." "The cateria, the bookstore, you name it." "So if they're using fake student I.D.s, they're using fake money, which makes this fraud." "Right." "And if these students you've apprehended made the fake I.D.s themselves, conspiracy to commit." "So, you want me to bring them in?" "The studts have already been dealt with." "They've been placed on probation," "And the families have agreed to repay the stolen funds." "That sounds..." "lenient." "There's no dungeon in the ivory tower." "Both kids claim they bought the I.D.s from this man." "He's not a Hearst student, and the Hearst police ain't in the business of prosecuting felons." "I'll take care of it." "Number four." "You sure?" "I'm sure." "Hey, come on." "Step right in here, son." "Take your time." "Number four." " You'll testify to that fact?" " Yeah." "That's definitely him." "Veronica Mars 3x19 - Weevils Wobble But They Don't Go Down" "I wish you weren't sitting across from me right now, Eli." "I shouldn't be, sheriff." "Two dean's-list college students picked you out of a lineup." "Your being an ex-con isn't gonna help things." "Do I get a phone call?" "Uh, what's Veronica's number?" "Veronica, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up." "Where you at?" "I tried you on your cell, but maybe you got it turned off or something." "Hey, lucky for me, your dad's a cool guy, 'cause he gave me another chance at this." "Anyway... reason I'm calling is..." "I need a bail bondsman and a private investigator, and you need a 21st-century answering machine!" "Hey!" "Weevil, you're wobbling." "Yeah, and I'm gonna take the fall..." "Unless you can help me." "I've already lost my job 'cause of this." "Dad says it's a fraud case?" "Exactly, and you know how I feel about white-collar crime." "They're saying I busted into the bursar's office and made a couple fake I.D. cards and stuck a bunch of cash on them." "And you're saying?" "Damn, Veronica." "I don't even know what a bursar is." "You know that office where you pick up your paycheck?" "It says "bursar" on it?" "That's the bursar." "Who says it was you?" "A couple college kids pulled me out of a lineup." "Why do you think they're fingering you?" "'Cause I'm easy... easy like sunday morning... ex-con and all." "Except they'd have to know you were an ex-con." "Have you been going around campus sharing the story of your personal journey?" "Only in your criminology class when you asked me to." "Oh, yeah, right." "Whoops." "Pell applications are on the right." " Change of address cards are..." " Actually, I'm a private investigator." "I'm working for Eli Navarro." "I'd like to ask you some questions about I.D.s." "I'm sorry." "You're a what?" "I'm a private investigator." "How old are you?" "I'm 19." "So, can you tell me how student I.D.s work?" "Oh, well, exactly like debit cards." "Each term, students can add money to their account that can be drawn upon by any campus vendor." "I collect the cash and infuse the cards with their new limit." "And you've got the only machine on campus" " that can program the cards?" " Yeah." "The company who makes them, magneta-corp, only leases the machines to institutions like colleges." "If it breaks down or needs to be serviced, we have to send it all the way back to Marietta, Georgia, to get it reprogrammed." "Thanks for holding my check, Karin." "Oh, no problem Ross." "For what it's worth, I happen to know your client, mr." "Navarro, has access to my office." "He let me in once when I locked myself out." "So, you're working for Eli Navarro." "You know him?" "Yeah, he tried to feed me a bogus workman's comp claim." "I'd say that your client could use further rehabilitation." "Thanks." "Thanks for your time, miss." "Oh, one more thing..." "How did you know that the fakes were fakes?" "We didn't." "One of our food-court workers noticed a number of suspicious names on student i.D.S." "She started a watch list, eventually handed it over." "Sounds like my kind of girl." " Jalisa Jones?" " That's me." "You're the one who discovered the fake I.D.s, right?" "Hearst college must have been grateful." "They offered to put a statue of me in the middle of the quad." "So, what made you think that the names on the cards were aliases?" ""Niels Bohr, Sylvia Plath, Leonardo Fibonacci, Honus Wagner"?" "Just because I didn't go to a school with a water polo team doesn't mean I don't know who Fibonacci is." "Who wouldn't know?" "Greatest european mathematician of the middle ages." "Yeah, of course." "Uh, do me a favor..." "Give me a call if any of the other names pop up." "Sure, but after Sylvia Plath and Honus Wagner got busted, the others stopped coming." "I just got an e-mail saying I got a $50 fine for a lost book I've never even heard of." " Name?" " Abigail Montgomery." "Oh, you're cool." "No fine." " What?" " I'm a private investigator." "I've been hired by Eli Navarro to find out who's making the fake I.D.s." "Is this a joke?" "I'm bona fide." "So, what, you're working undercover at the help desk or something?" "More moonlighting." "Tell me how you met my client." "Last thursday, I went to pay for my lunch, and the teller told me I was out of money." "I was standing there with my burrito and fruit cup, totally humiliated." "Later that afternoon, this guy comes up to me and offers to sell me a $1,000 card for 100 bucks." " And so you paid him?" " Yeah." "He asked for a fake name, and... told me to meet him the next day in the basement of the history building at 1:00." "I showed up." "He handed me the card." "You know, I didn't want to do something dishonest." "It's not like I can stop eating." "And believe me, I hated turning in that janitor guy." "I'm sure he's got kids to feed or something." "Excuse me, who do I talk to about library fines?" "I got an e-mail." "Let's forget about the fine." "I just need to ask you a few questions." "Hey." "So, what'd you learn?" "I learned you're in a battle with Hearst over workman's comp." "Yeah." "They were giving me the runaround, and now that I've been fired, they're refusing to pay altogether." "Any chance you decided to get even by taking what they owed you?" "No." "Both witnesses..." "The bright-Eyed, freshly scrubbed types juries love..." "Claim you met them at 1:00 in the basement of the history building." "1:00?" "That's my lunch break." "Which you spend daily with your co-workers, all of whom will eagerly vouch for you?" "Which I usually spend in my car, napping." "Sheriff!" "My bail come through?" "Yep." "You're free to go." "Excellent." "But I'm afraid I've got some bad news." "That machine in the bursar's office..." "Campus cops just found an identical one in the empty locker next to yours." "Talk to your public defender, Eli." "The best deal you're gonna get is the one they're offering now." "This is your end-of-term project?" "I should have been an aerospace major." "A 1/32 model of an amphibious regional turboprop." "I call it the sea monkey." "Which would make more sense if monkeys were amphibious..." "Or could fly." "Trust me." "It makes perfect sense when you're running on about 15 minutes' sleep in the last week." "And here Piz thought you were spending all your time with a secret girlfriend." "Only love life I have is some dude who's always following me around." "What, like you're being cruised?" "Yeah." "Remind me which color bandana I'm supposed to wear that says I'm straight... but flattered and nonjudgmental." " No idea who the guy is?" " None." "But I saw him take some of my old homework out of the trash." "Well, if he's a souvenir-taker, it's easy." "Just leave some tantalizing bait..." "I'd suggest your cutoff jean short-shorts..." "And double back and watch him." "Here's dr." "Winkler." "You're ready?" "Magnetic stripe coercivity?" "It's a fancy way of saying how hard it is to copy a bank or a debit card." "A Hearst student I.D. Is quite simple, actually, provided you work at the CIA and have access to a supercomputer." "You know how digital codes work?" "A bunch of ones and zeroes and stuff?" "A student I.D. Takes your name, I.D. number, balance, whatever and stores it on a magnetic strip." "But they also insert an encrypted signature that prohibits someone from making a counterfeit or... making changes to the card." "How super does a computer have to be to crack an encrypted card?" "There's one in the physics lab." "Of course, they won't let you touch it unless you have a phd." "We lowly mechanical engineers had to build our own..." "Daisy." "So, what are the odds" "On a maintenance worker with a G.E.D. getting time on Daisy?" "Wouldn't matter." "Someone would still have to write the software and wait for it to run." "Even if someone had the machine that made the original I.D.s?" "That would simplify things." "Maybe you should talk to Leon, one of my grad students." "Guy just got a paper published on cryptography." "Where might I find this Leon?" "Here, just not while the sun's up." "Leon's part vampire." "What's the big deal?" "I didn't say it was a big deal." "Then ask him." "I suspect your radio career will put you across the mike from bigger fish than small-town sheriffs." "I'm not intimidated about asking the local sheriff to be on my show, okay?" "I'm intimidated about asking the father of the girl whose body is... as much as it kills me to quote John Mayer... a wonderland." "All right?" "What happened to the courtesy knock?" "What happened to whalebone corsets and courting chaperones?" "Who wants falafel?" "Uh, mr." "Mars, I was wondering..." "Could you come down to Hearst tomorrow?" "I'd like you on my show." "I'm doing an election special." "Hearst's 4,000 votes could go a long way to determining the election." "I don't know, Stosh." "My schedule's pretty tight." "It's just..." "I mean, I wouldn't want Vinnie Van Lowe" "Getting all the airtime without giving you a chance to rebut, you know." " What time is the show?" " Bright and early... 8:00." "Fine." "If you think Vinnie is willing to miss his morning cartoons," "I'll be there." "As long as you're in a munificent mood, how about buying the office a new answering machine?" "Munificent?" "What's wrong with the old one?" "The yoders have one just like it." "Who are the yoders?" "The amish family in 3b." "You may have gone digital, but I remain firmly analog." "No, I'm digital." "You remain firmly cheap." "My day was fine." "How was yours, Veronica?" "Uh, proved Weevil didn't do it." "Honey, I don't think you can let Eli off the hook." "I talked to a mechanical engineering prof." "He said it would be impossible for Weevil to program the machine you found in his..." " What?" " We dusted the box." "It's covered with Eli's prints..." "Only Eli's." "You want to know if someone could make a counterfeit Hearst student I.D.?" "Yeah." "Dr. Winkler says you're the real expert here at Hearst." "Dr. Winkler said that?" "Wow." "So..." "Possibly," "But that someone would need an awful lot of smarts." "Here." "You're more than welcome to look in my..." "What the hell?" "What is it?" "All my research materials..." "They're gone." "Someone stole them." "We're back, and we've got sheriff candidates" "Keith Mars and Vinnie Van Lowe in studio telling us why they deserve to be your chief lawman." "So, as you might not be surprised to hear, a big issue with Hearst students is the recent crackdown on underage drinking in off-campus bars." "That's his thing..." "Don't look at me." "The legal drinking age is 21 for a reason." "I plan to continue enforcing it." "Know what laws I plan to enforce?" "The important ones, like murder and terrorism." "These aren't just the subjects of our favorite movies and tv shows." "These are the things that threaten us here and now" "In Neptune, okay?" "Once those things are taken care of, maybe I'll have time to drop in on campus-area bars..." "For a cold one." "Line one, you have a question for either of our candidates?" "For sheriff Mars, this one's a two-parter." "Shoot." "First, why do you suck?" "And the second part..." "What's it like to suck so hard?" "Dude, hey, look, man, I don't know what you..." "Are you familiar with The Castle?" "I've heard of it." "Wallace Fennel," "I've been authorized to inform you that you've been tapped for admission." "If you tell anyone, your invitation will be rescinded, and there will be consequences." "Do you accept?" "If we're assuming someone's framing you, they had only 24 hours..." "Whoa, if we're assuming?" "If we're not assuming, then I guess we're assuming that I did it, which means that I hired you to get to the bottom of my own crime?" "That's a pretty dumb assumption, don't you think?" "Touchy." "I'll rephrase." "Whoever framed you had 24 hours" "To get your fingerprints on the ringer I.D. machine." "We need to retrace your steps." "Try and remember everything you touched the day before you got busted." "A day in the life of Weevil's hands, huh?" "Let's see." "I woke up, I hopped in the shower..." "What say we fast-forward to your day on campus?" "No problem." "First call was the radio station." "Deejay blew a fuse." "Did you happen to see this?" "It's the I.D. machine they found next to your stuff." "Well, that box does not look familiar." "Let's take a little field trip, see if we can't jog your memory." "Fine, but you're gonna have to slow your ass down." "Let's say you got two calls at the same time." "One was for, let's say, a kidnapping in progress, but the other involves a 20-year-old having a beer." "Which call would you take first?" "I think this ground has been well-covered by candidate Mars." "I, for one, think we should hear his answer." "I'd respond to the kidnapping call first." "Let's talk a little bit about law-enforcement experience." "I'm glad you bring that up, Stosh." "As am I." "I first learned law-enforcement techniques while serving in this great country's armed forces." "During my stint in the military police," "I saw crime drop 20% across U.S. military bases." "And you believe you were responsible for that drop?" "I did my part." "And was that before your dishonorable discharge?" "I'm sorry, did this campaign just go negative?" "I thought we had a gentleman's agreement here." "That's fine." "The kid gloves are off now, Keith." "Okay, in the past two years of tranquility in Neptune under the steady watch of sheriff Don Lamb, citizen Mars was cited six times for infractions ranging from impersonating a law-enforcement officer to withholding evidence." "His comely daughter, a Hearst student, was arrested twice in that time." "The question isn't whether sheriff Mars can clean up Neptune." "It's..." "Can sheriff Mars clean up his own household?" "Uh, well, we'll pick up where we left off right after this." "So, I walked in here like this, sat in that chair over there..." "Mr. Navarro, might I ask what you're doing here?" "I talked with the human resources suit for a couple minutes." "Get out of my office." "You touch anything, pick anything up?" "No, I don't think so." "You were fired, okay?" "You are not permitted on Hearst property." "I'm calling security." "Wait a minute." "I did pick up an envelope on the suit's desk." "It had his home address on it." "I'm not sure what good that'll do me." " Anything else?" " Nah." "Hi." "You remember me..." "Earlier this week?" "Yeah, the sink guy." "I think I left a tool here when I was fixing your drain." "Mind if we take a look around?" "Yeah, no problem." "Come on in." "The sink's worked great." "What can I say?" "I take pride in what I do." "Veronica, the last time I was here," "They had a bunch of crap under the sink." "I had to move it all out of the way to get at the drain, but I didn't pay much attention to what I was moving." "My roommate tried to dump ramen down the sink." "She's such a blonde." "You could have left your prints on the box without even knowing it." "Hey, that message from Joey on the board, did he leave it..." "Hi, there." "I'm Veronica." "Aren't you in my criminology class?" "Yeah." "You remember my friend Eli, right?" "From class?" "Your talk was so... edifying." "I get that a lot." "So, what are you up to now?" "Oh, he thinks he left a tool behind." "His tools are his livelihood." "What'd you do with the stuff you had under the sink?" " Oh, I love your hair." " Thanks." "Do you mind if I take a picture of you for my stylist?" "I guess not." "Say "cheese."" "Super." "We've got what we need, Eli." "I'll see you in class." "Your stylist?" "What was that all about?" "Walk me to work." "I'll show you what the inside of a library looks like." "I thought you were supposed to be good at this." "She's out of focus." "Easy, Sleazy." "You're looking at the wrong thing." "I didn't care about her." "It's the picture behind her." "Watch closely now." "Look who we have here." "It's the girl from my criminology class." "We knew that 20 minutes ago." "There's our Sylvia Plath." "She pulled you out of a lineup." "And this is the guy who actually knows how to program the cards." "I'd bet one of these guys in masks is our Honus Wagner." "We got them." "Question..." "Do you want to just get yourself off the hook, or do you want to take all these Aspen ski bums down at the same time?" "How are we gonna I.D. the others?" "You leave that to me." "And I've got all the frequent-flier miles we need." "Come out every other weekend if you want." "Who you talking to?" " Parker." " Parker?" "I don't even know her!" "Sorry about that." "That was Dick." "He's gearing up for finals." "Hey Logan." "The night my brother jumped off the roof, did you, like... try and stop him?" "I got to call you back." "Yeah, bye." "Everything okay, Dick?" "I duct-taped him to his bike, his feet to the pedals." "He was maybe 10, and I just left him out there on the cul-de-sac." "Forgot about him for hours." "I went outside, and there he was, still riding around in circles." "Dick, I'm not sure if spending happy hours with your dad" "Is the best way to deal with all this." "Tomorrow we'll catch a few waves." "We'll get you back on a board." "You'll see things clear." "Yeah, okay." "That sounds sweet." "But I'm inviting 24 little buddies just in case I don't like what I see when things are clear." "Hey Jenny." "Hey, isn't that your photo?" ""I met this great group of people from Hearst skiing over christmas break, but I didn't get their names, and I'd like to track them down." "Wow, freaky!" "Do you want me to jot down that e-mail address?" "What?" "Miss Mars uses venus razor." "Because if she doesn't, her legs look like Pluto's." "And she's down-to-earth, to boot." "I think I read in teen people that a clean leg shave will make that special boy sit up and take notice." "I read in FHM that boys like bare breasts." "Interesting." "I did not know that." "Bare breasts, you say?" "Hmm." "Jeez, what does that thing run on, nail polish?" "It's a methanol-oil mixture." "That's why I drive a Saturn hybrid." "Hey, did anyone else hear there's gonna be a matchbox twenty reunion show?" "So?" "Rob Thomas is a whore." "Yeah." "Hey, you never told me what happened with your whole man-crush thing." "Wallace has a man crush?" "The man crush isn't me, is it?" "Some guy following him around campus." "Is it Piz?" "All right, now, it was nothing, you know?" "It was just nothing." "Man, this new wet suit's like a cheap motel." "No ballroom." "So, what's the protocol for a plane christening?" "I mean, does someone get to, like, smash the Sea Monkey" "With a miniature bottle of champagne?" "The protocol..." "Pray to whatever god you believe in she flies." "Otherwise, my ass is grass." "Orville Wright's exact words, if I recall." "I'm so nervous." "This is totally knotting up my inner nerd." "Wait, you have an inner one?" " We're up!" " Yes!" "Oh!" "Hey, look, a toy plane." "Don't touch the plane." "Hey, hey, look who's sunbathing at the beach." "What's up, hot legs?" "Ow!" "Score one for teen people." "Hey, we're blowing off a little dead-week steam if you kids want to hang." "We can't." "We're helping Wallace." "Actually, Wallace needs a little time to himself." "I feel so bad for Wallace." "He needs more thrust." "Don't say it." "That's what she said." "I think I'm gonna go help Wallace." "Hey, Mac, wait up." "I know you and me haven't always been, like, best buds, but, do you want to know why?" "Not really." "'Cause you were both so smart, you and Beav." "And I could tell, you know, that you thought I was an idiot," "So I figured my best bet was to..." "You know how a best defense is a good offense?" "So, I thought..." "The way I treated you and beav was totally uncool," "And I'm totally sorry for all those things I said." "Yeah." "Okay." "Accepted." "It's cool." "You're so cool." "I get it now what my brother saw in you." "Don't tell Logan, okay?" "You know, a couple of my high-school friends surfed." "Yeah, they'd drive down to Sunnyside early in the morning, but I always had to work these crappy jobs over the summer." "It must have been cool growing up down here." "It must have been great working." "That's what makes you so real, Piz," "So salt-of-the-earth." "My life, on the other hand..." "Frivolous." "No, that's not what I was saying." "You're right." "Not frivolous..." "Full of frivolity." "You hear that, Veronica?" "The subtext?" "Piz worked for a living while I frittered my days away." "Impressed?" "I'm not impressed right now." "What's your problem, man?" "Fundamentally, I guess it's that I lack a working man's backbone." "Logan, enough." "Looks like someone's main squeeze is from Marietta, Georgia, the same town where they make the Magneta-Corp machine." "And guess whose dad is an executive at Magneta-Corp?" "I guess you know who I am by now." "Wild guess..." "Patrick Nickerson." "There's some people we want you to meet." "I guess you're all asking yourself why I called this meeting." "What?" "That's comedy gold." "She knows about my dad's company." "And I know that Leon's cryptography research wasn't really stolen." "Let's see, one guy to steal the machine, one guy to program it, and everyone to point the finger at the ex-con maintenance guy." "And the injustice league strikes again." " Who are you calling?" " The surgeon general." "She's calling her dad, the sheriff." "Good call, Jenny." "See, you're not here just for your looks." "Hang on." "Please." "We can work this out." "You can be one of us." "Is this where you turn me into a vampire?" "We can make it worth your while." "All right, I'm listening." "So, what is that maintenance guy paying you, anyway?" " Cash." " Don't turn us in, and you could have your very own Hearst I.D." "Oh, I have one, thanks." "This one is the everlasting gobstopper of spending money." "You'll never have to pay for another textbook, another ticket to a campus performance, another meal." "Assuming I want to eat meals in the food court for the rest of my life?" "Besides, you're lying." "You don't have the machine." "You left it in the locker next to mr." "Navarro's." "There's a third one." "I've already programmed it." "The only reason we got busted Is because we used stupid aliases." "We get new cards, generic names, and we don't get caught again." "You're a scholarship kid, right?" "Yeah, that must be pretty tough, paying for all those meals, textbooks." "It is... which is why a bunch of kids who can afford to ski in Aspen getting their kicks by ripping off my school and blaming it on the nearest kid from the wrong side of the tracks pisses me off so much." "You think that ski picture is proof?" "That doesn't prove anything." "But this conversation does." "Hang on." "Please, we can work this out, okay?" "You can be one of us." "Is this where you turn me into a vampire?" "We can make it worth your while." "I won't bore you with the rest," "But I'll bet it means jail time." "Or, if you'd prefer," "You can go throw yourself at the mercy of the campus police." "I'm sure they'll have more mercy for you than my dad, particularly when he finds that third machine in one of your dorm rooms." " Like we'd keep it in a dorm room." " Shh." "If I don't hear that the charges against my client" "Have been dropped by tomorrow noon," "I'm taking everything I've got to the finest law-enforcement organization in Balboa County." "And try and keep it down in here, okay?" "It's the library." "Weevil, I need you to get to the engineering lab right away." "I think they're hiding a third box there..." "One that's functioning." "I don't want the ski patrol to destroy it." "Dude, what are you doing?" "Man, I'm not sure if I should show you this." "What is it?" "Well, you have to see it." "I can't say the words out loud." "It's cued up." "Just hit the space bar." "I so wish I could be with you right now." "That's Veronica." "Yeah, I'm aware of that." "Well how about that?" "And that's that Piz dude." "Yeah, here's the money." "Not what I'd call bodacious, but firm, supple, pleasing to the eye." "Where did you get this?" "It's going around in an e-mail." "You think Veronica knew there's a camera in the room?" "No." "Here's what this good catholic boy could never get straight." "Good people go to heaven, bad people go to hell, and the rest of us all go to a place called purgatory." "Really?" "What the hell's purgatory?" "It's just some place where you have to suffer a lot and strive to be better people." "I mean, isn't that just life on earth all over again?" "Come back here, you..." "Before I left the station, I received word from the campus police that a bunch of kids turned themselves in for those fake I.D.s." "Huh." "They must have had a collective crisis of conscience." "Yeah." "I bet that was it." "What you got?" "Hmm?" "Who's cheap now?" "Speaking of El Diablo." "Good news." "You're a free man, Eli Navarro." "They confessed." "You find anything in the lab?" "Nothing here." "No machine." "It was worth a shot." "It's okay." "We don't need it." "Thanks, V." "Hey, I forget." "Who owes who now?" "Uh, you owe me, clearly." "You sure about that?" "Not really." "Night, Weevil." "Bye." "Honey, can I see you in my office?" "You want to tell me what this is?" "Hang on." "Please, we can work this out, okay?" "You can be one of us." "Is this where you turn me into a vampire?" "We can make it worth your while." "It's a confession." "You can erase it." "Confession?" "No one confessed to anything on there." "Fortunately, they didn't know that." "Veronica?" "Hello?" "Veronica..." "There's something you should know."