" Previously on Lucifer..." " That's Azrael's blade." "That's one angry-ass snake." "I want my family back." "Mom and I are gonna find a way to get back to the Silver City." "One way or another." "Something is wrong." "It won't stop." "The only thing that's gonna save my life is finding the antidote." "The plan is simple:" "you kill me, I go down to Hell interrogate the professor, get the formula, and then you bring me back." "Well, you didn't die after all." "I heard you saved me." "This is your Father's doing." "Chloe is his doing, he put her in your path." "So none of it was real?" "Don't!" "I mean, how can I trust anything, anyone now that I know He might be behind it all?" "Well, you can trust me." "Can I, Mum?" "You're as bad as He is." "I am tired of being a pawn." "I'm done." "Lucifer?" "You here?" "How dare he walk out on me." "I'm a goddess." "Yes, you are." "I think I deserve a modicum of respect." "I respect you." "Then why did my son abandon me?" "Wait, we're talking about your son?" "Do you know that I went to Hell for him?" "I even helped save his scrawny, little human, who I much prefer dead." "This is getting weird." "Yeah." "It's been two weeks and no word." "I mean, a mother has needs, don't you agree?" "Okay, uh..." "I got to go." "You're a terrible kisser." "Must suck to be on the outs with Lucifer." "He hates it when people manipulate him." "I didn't." "At least not like his Father." "True, but you're here." "And the big guy's not." "I bet Lucifer is plotting his revenge as we speak." "Love the vibe you got going here." "It's very Godfather." "You even look a bit like Brando." "Circa the barefoot, stress-eating years." "This is a big move, man." "Are you sure about this?" "Oh, yes." "Now hand it over." "It's not gonna go cheap." "Worth every penny." "It's your funeral." "Still no sign of Lucifer?" "I went by his place." "It's completely packed up." "No e-mails, no calls, nothing." "He's gone." "Just... it is what it is." "You know, Chloe, you don't have to pretend with me." "I know you're upset." "I mean, he's your partner, he should've told you he was leaving." "Whatever." "It's been two weeks." "I'm over it." "Please just change the subject." "Man, I miss Lucifer." "He was the best hugger." "I mean, squirmer on the outside, but warm and fuzzy on the inside." "Ella." "Do you mind?" "Oh." "Sorry, Decker." "Guess he hasn't called you either." "So we got Ash Corrigan." "27." "Cause of death, blunt trauma, by something that left small circular gashes around the wound." "M.E.'s gonna make me some molds so I can track down" " the murder weapon." " Well, it doesn't look like a robbery." "I mean, guy's wallet and ID hasn't been touched." "His car's still here." "I'm thinking Ash was a club-goer." "Got into a bar fight, then everything went to head out here." "Hmm." "I think he played in a band." "Calloused fingers." "Guitar player." "Good catch." "Well, yeah." "And this." "Looks like the band lost their front man." "I can't believe he's gone." "We were in such a good place." "The album was selling, man." "Tour was gonna be huge." "This blows so hard." "What's gonna happen to us?" "Come on, dude, Ash is dead." "He's just saying what we're all thinking." "The band's over." "We're screwed." "So Ash was staying here?" "He was just crashing on the couch last couple weeks." "You guys weren't worried when he didn't come home last night?" "We just figured that he hooked up with someone." "I hoped, anyway." "He's been in a funk since his divorce." "It was bad." "How bad?" "You should talk to Courtney." "Ash's ex." "She's, um... very passionate." "They fought non-stop, even got violent once." "So the band was right, the ex-wife was violent." "Look at these." "She was arrested for domestic abuse two years ago." "I mean, charges were dropped, but..." "Detective!" "You're okay." "What?" "Yes, of course I'm okay." "Don't be so silly." "Lucifer, I was really, really worried about you." "Shh!" "Hold that thought." "I have news." "What..." "Wow." "You just... you go AWOL for two weeks, and then you have the nerve to come here and shush me?" "Yeah." "You have some serious explaining to do, man." "Yes, I know that, Daniel, and I'm about to." "Shall we all have a sit down?" "No." "Spill it." "I'm dying to know where you've been." "Lucifer?" "Lucifer?" "Uh..." "Candy, darling," "I told you to wait in the car." "But it's so stuffy in there." "But it's a convertible." "Plus I wanted to show your police friends just how generous my honey is." "He paid that sketchy diamond guy a ginormous pile of cash for it." "Well, mm." "Lucifer, who is this?" "Right." "Meet Candy Morningstar." "My wife." "Wow." "It's not how I'd hoped to announce it." "I know it might be a tad surprising." "No, why would I be surprised?" "That you disappeared after I almost died, and then waltzed back in married to a stripper?" "Exotic dancer, but, yes, I can explain." "No." "No need." "I'm happy for you." "Really." "Do you mind?" "Sorry." "Am I bugging you?" "I'm totally bugging you." "No, I love that sound." " Oh." " Look, Detective," "I had some family issues." "And I-I went to Vegas to blow off some steam." "One thing led to another, and..." "Look, I am sorry, I should've told you that I needed... time off." "This isn't about vacation hours, this isn't about time cards, Lucifer, this..." "How could you just...?" "I thought we were..." "I thought we were friends." "Friends?" "Yes." "Friends, that's exactly what we are." "Just friends." " Right." " Right." "So it's all sorted then," " we'll go back to the way it was." " Great." "You know, before..." "Yes, I get it!" " Hey." " What?" "I have Ash's ex-wife in interrogation." "Great." "I..." "That's classy, dude." "Real classy." "Thank you?" "You think they like me?" "Oh, what's not to like?" ""Violent psycho bitch."" ""Sid and Nancy, except she's Sid."" ""All she wanted was to crush Ash's soul."" "So, Courtney, care to explain why all of your ex-husband's bandmates think you're capable of murder?" "I had nothing to do with this." "Where were you the night of Ash's death?" "The same place I am every night: work." "I have employees who can vouch for it." "What do you do?" "Run an online clothing company." "Built it from scratch." "Worked my ass off." "You want to know what Ash would say about work?" ""The world will provide."" "But you know who did?" "Me." "Someone had to be responsible." "The band, they thought I was uncool, but it was Ash, he was the selfish, childish one." "I completely understand." "I was with an immature partner, and it was maddening." "It's crazy-making." "Yeah, wanted to kill him." "I didn't say that." "Ouch." "Shade." "I wouldn't take it too personally." "Yeah, right." "I'm sure it's not me she's talking about." "Well, who else would she be talking about?" "So, you want to explain the domestic abuse charge?" "Look, we fought." "I'm not proud of that." "But I've paid for my mistakes, literally." "What do you mean?" "Ash took everything when we divorced." "I agreed to sit down with a divorce mediator, and the guy was completely biased against me." "I think him and Ash set up some sort of shady side deal." "He's the real criminal." "But if Ash got this hefty divorce settlement, then why was he couch-surfing?" "Where'd the money go?" "Maybe the mediator took it?" "Like I said, the guy's a crook." "I got him." "Someone tagged Lucifer at The Grove." "You're kidding." "Someone named "Cottoncandy86"?" "That's an unfortunate name." "No, Mom, it's an Internet... never mind." "It looks like they were getting frozen yogurt to celebrate... newlywed life?" "#mrslucifer, #hottiehubby?" "Are you speaking in tongues?" "Mom!" "Look." "He and cottoncandy86 are married." " What?" "!" " He specifically told me to watch over Chloe." "After everything that we did to save her," "I don't..." "I don't understand." "Betrothing himself to that?" "He wouldn't." "Perhaps Mazikeen was right." "Lucifer's concocting a plan." "Well, Courtney's story checked out." "She was working late with two employees at the time Ash was killed." "Courtney's been pointing pretty hard at their divorce mediator, but I don't know." "Seems like a stretch." "Yeah, agreed, but I did check it out anyways." "This guy named Anthony Annan." "He's got a clean record, and nothing but Courtney's word points to him." "Uh, Detective, a word?" "You're still here?" "Shouldn't you be on some honeymoon far, far away?" "Oh, look, it's Mannequin Hair." " Who?" " I don't know his name, but he's in the other photo, too." " Is that weird?" " What other photo?" "The one of the dead dude." "See?" "Right there." "Mannequin Hair is in the crowd behind the yellow tape." "She's right, it's him." "Unbelievable." "It's highly unlikely for Ash's divorce mediator to be lurking at the scene of his murder, yes?" "Yeah, very." "I'll track him down." "Nice." "Well done, Candy." "Well, I don't get a lot of names at my job, so I'm super good with faces." " And other things." " Ah." "This is fun, isn't it?" "Isn't this fun?" "Hmm?" "Murder, suspects, clues." "Gosh, it feels good to be back." "Right, I'm going to call Candy a cab, and then you and I can get down to brass tacks, yes?" "Actually, come to think of it, who watches over Trixie?" "Do you want to go splitsies on a nanny?" "Besides, I hear this case involves a band, so, lucky for you" "I bring my much-needed musical expertise." "Did you know he plays piano?" "Like, better than Elton Tom." "I know plenty about music, thank you." "Do you, now, Detective?" "Right, what's your favorite band, then?" " Hmm?" " Hey..." "Oh, full of '90s jams, I see." "The Bangles, N'Sync," "Right Said Fred?" " Give me the phone back." " I mean, seriously, Detective, your music queue alone is enough to disqualify you from this case." "You're not the one who's on this case, Lucifer." "What?" "But what about our partnership?" "Our partnership ended when you ghosted me and the entire department." "You can't just march back in here like nothing's wrong." "You can't just grab what you want when you want." "I'll just put that down there, then." "You let me down, Lucifer." "I mean, what good is a partner if I can't depend on you?" "I don't need you anymore." "Well, surely you don't mean that." "I do." "You can go." "Both of you." "Right." "I haven't seen you in a while, Lucifer." "Uh, I know you've been through Hell." "I suppose we can discuss that another time." "Oh, no, no, there's no need for censoring, Doctor." "Candy and I have no secrets." "Isn't that the key to a successful marriage?" "And how are you coping since your... travels?" "Any warning signs of lasting trauma?" "Denial?" "Rash decisions?" "Um... no, no." "I think I've thought through everything quite carefully." "He's a thinker, this one!" "And, uh... and what about Detective Decker?" "I thought you two had become... close." "Well, everything I felt for her was smoke and mirrors, courtesy of dear old Dad." "I mean, He clearly expected me to zig, and so I zagged." "And does Chloe know that you've zagged Candy?" "Yes." "She just fired me." " Shocking." " I know." "But if you felt so manipulated... why return to Chloe at all?" "Well, I mean, I tried to leave, but I just felt that I missed... my work." "Look, anyway, baby, bathwater, the detective and I are quite the crime-fighting duo." "I mean, you wouldn't break up" " Batman and Robin, now, would you?" " No." "We have a job to do." "So if she could just see sense..." "I was fired once." "But you know what I did?" "I just kept showing up and made myself expandable." "Oh, uh, do you mean indispensable?" "No." "Expandable." "I got a boob job, and it totally expanded my horizons." "Because then, I could do something none of the other girls could do." "You wanna see?" " Ooh, yes." " No." "No?" "But you know, the part about showing up... that's not, actually, bad advice." "It's called "acting as if."" "Yes." "Yes, well done, Candy." "I think I know exactly how to get back on the case." "Oh, gosh, I wish I'd talked to you earlier." "Saved myself a trip." "Have a candy, Candy." "Bad news, Chloe." "Ash's mediator won't talk." "Well, because he's a lawyer." "Yep, not without a warrant." "Okay, will do." "I know you're there." "I'm a cop, Lucifer." "You think I don't know when I'm being followed?" "All right, fair enough." "Look, I'm simply here to help with the case." "What, you mean the case that Chloe kicked you off of?" "I'm just..." "I'm trying to put things back the way they were, Dan." "Yeah, I've been there." "Right." "And I have a brilliant idea." "You expect me to let you go undercover with your stripper wife?" "Right." "First of all, she's an exotic dancer." ""Stripper" is pejorative." "Well, far be it from me to disrespect your bride." "Thank you." "And secondly," "Candy is a natural at getting men to talk." "Oh, I bet she is." "Awesome." "Lucifer has outdone himself." "Thanks." "Mm-hmm." "But, Detective, the mediator won't talk to you without a warrant." "Which is why I so wisely made an appointment for Candy and I this afternoon, see?" "You need me." "Let me think about that." "No." "Uh, Detective, if I didn't know better," "I'd say you were prejudiced against exotic dancers." "Okay, we're done here." " Good-bye." " But..." "Come on, Candy." "Well, look, if you change your mind and wish to take me up on this splendid lead, then, you know, you can always text me, or I'm on Wobble now as well." "You can get Candy on Cottoncandy86." "It was a marvelous idea." "I'm sure she'll come around." "So it's true." "You're back." "Oh, invading my privacy, as usual, I see." "Your brother and I were worried sick." "You could have at least called." "Oh, my gosh, are you Lucifer's sister?" "Oh!" "Oh, Lucifer, don't be rude." "Who is your top-heavy friend?" "Candy, darling, this is my mother." "Mum, this is Candy, my wife." "I'm sorry that we didn't invite you to the wedding." "We just decided no enemies." "Well, lovely to meet you." "You're Lucifer's mom?" "Oh, my gosh, you look amazing!" "I should start using sunscreen." "A shame he kept you hidden." "I hate secrets." "Do you like shopping?" "Do I?" "I want to hear all about you and Lucifer." "You two must have so many plans." "So... what do we think of Candy?" "Well, I think she's perfect for Lucifer." "Her bra size equals her IQ, huh?" "That's generous." "See that vein popping out the side of your neck?" "Same thing happens when I throw the dishes in the trash instead of washing them." "You're mad." "I'm an idiot." "Look, I know Lucifer better than anyone, okay, and he does this sometimes." "Disappears, does stupid, impulsive things." "But he always comes back around, Chloe." "Yeah, but this time I don't want him to." "I'm serious, I am done." "I'm done." "But he did get you an in with that mediator." "That's a good thing, right?" "Yeah, well, I don't care." "There's no way I'm letting him and his exotic-dancer wife on my case, or any case." "Maybe you and Lucifer need a mediator." "Just saying." "So, Mrs. Morningstar..." "Oh, no, no, no, no, you can call me Candy." "Candy." "Why do you want to divorce Lucifer?" "Um..." "Well, I just feel like we're supposed to have a partnership, and it just totally feels like it's not working anymore." "Mm-hmm." "And you two have been married for..." " Five days." " Ever!" " Forever." " Five days." " Five days." " It feels like it." "But we've been through a lot in that time, and I say that we work brilliantly together, don't we, sweetie?" "Well... if you're talking about the bedroom, yeah." "I mean, thank God this bod is made for pure sex, because, clearly, it's all he cares about." "I'm tired." "Eh..." "Would you say that's the, uh, the crux of your issue?" "Oh, the crux of the issue?" "Oh, no, no, no, that would he Lucifer disappearing, and then popping back up with zero explanation and a ditzy bimbo on his arm." "He's cheated on you in five days of marriage?" "No, of course I didn't." "I've been completely faithful." "I take the vows of marriage very seriously." "And that's why you chose an idiotic, bedazzled tweener as your partner." "I'm sorry, Candy, there's no name calling in here." "Even if it's to yourself." "Lucifer, would you like to respond?" "This is gonna be hard for you to understand, but..." "I've been through Hell recently." "Both figuratively and literally." "True torment, my greatest fears realized." "Lucifer, I am the one who almost died." "Yes, I know." "That is what I'm talking about." "Wow." "I almost believe you care." "Have you ever known me to lie?" "I don't know." "I don't know." "Why don't we take five?" "Are you okay, Mrs. Morningstar?" "Yeah, I'm... yeah, thank you." "I am." "Um..." "I, uh, I had heard through a friend that... you were open to a little extra negotiation." "Um, I'm not sure what you mean by that." "Um, well, my husband, you see, has a lot of money." "And so, if you were to... swing things my way, then I'd make it worth your while." "Wow..." "You're really something." "But that would be crossing a line." "And I can't do things like that." "Why not?" "You did with Ash Corrigan." "You two are in on this together?" " No, we're..." " Oh, yes." "LAPD." "We know about your side deal with Ash Corrigan." "Didn't pilfer enough money from Ash's ex?" "Had to go and kill Ash to get the rest of the spoils?" "Whoa." "I would never, ever hurt Ash." "Then what did you want to accomplish, Anthony?" "Hmm?" "Come on." "Tell me." "What did you desire?" "I wanted..." "Yes?" "I wanted the Heavy Woolies to be the hugest band ever." "But... oh." "Um..." "Okay, yeah, yes, I helped Ash in the divorce and I got him all of Courtney's money." "But there was no side deal, 'cause I did it for free." "I did it for the band." "I did it for the music." "So, you're a fan?" "No, no, no." "I was the manager." "At least, Ash promised me... maybe I could be the manager someday." "The point is, I helped them a lot." "Ash and I came up with a plan." "Buy all the albums himself using his ex-wife's money to inflate sales." "Talk about self-promotion." "All they needed was a little nudge." "And it worked." "I mean, we got on the charts and we started getting radio play, we were gonna be booked for this big tour." "I mean, we were gonna make it so big." "We have a photo linking you to the crime scene." "Why were you there?" "I was looking for them after the gig, 'cause Ash and Marla, they were fighting." "The bassist?" "Why were they fighting?" "When weren't they fighting?" "I thought that Ash was gonna kick Marla out of the band that night after the gig, so I went down there to see how it went down." "That's when I saw the police standing there, across the street." "Over his dead body." "It was the night the music died." "Perhaps Marla didn't want to be the fifth Beatle." "Looks like we have a new suspect." "Oh, well, if that's the case, then you're welcome, Detective." "It's nice to be needed." "Look, go home." "Trust me." "Candy needs you more than I do." "Mine's bigger, right?" "Yes." "Does that mean anything?" "Just how much Lucifer loves me." "Ah, so these small ones are for couples who don't really care." "Exactly." "Tell me more about you and Lucifer." "What comes next for you two lovebirds?" "Did he say anything about... oh, I don't know... matricide?" "No, I think the mattress in the penthouse is pretty new." "Oh, come on, Candy." "I know you two have some kind of plan." "Well, you're right about that." "So many plans." "Tell me everything." "Someday..." "I want to open my own juice bar." "Or a tanning salon." "Or a combo juice bar and tanning salon." "You're speaking and yet I don't understand a single word." "I get that a lot." "Why don't you talk and I'll listen?" "I'm a good listener." "Like right now?" "I know exactly what you're trying to say." " But I didn't..." " You want what's best for your son and you'll do anything to make sure he's happy." "I want you to know, I got Lucifer's back." "And yours." "Because... you're my mom now, too." "We're family." "She's a sinister genius." "Mother, come on now." "Here I thought this "Candy" was an insipid dullard." "But she may be the most formidable opponent" "I've ever faced." "I came away with nothing!" "Not a single crumb of information about Lucifer's real agenda." "What if there is no hidden agenda, Mom?" "Oh..." "What if this Candy's exactly who she seems?" "Then..." "I don't understand what Lucifer's doing." " Whatever he wants, as usual." " So he really just married this preening mouth breather because he likes her?" "Please." "Only a deeply damaged soul would make such a poor choice." "Unless... he really is that far gone." "Then that would mean that my son is really, truly broken." "And I'm the one that broke him." "Mom... don't." "I manipulated him." "I pushed him too hard." "I did this." "I'm a terrible mother." "Public intoxication, vandalism." "Okay, Marla does have a few priors." "But all par for the course for a wannabe rock star." "How'd you get the lead?" "I got in to see the mediator." "Lucifer did a thing." "Yes, I knew you guys would patch things up." "Nope." "Not even close." "Not even close." "Well, it sounds like he's trying to help." "Why are you rooting for him?" "I'm not rooting for him." "Okay, anyhow, to me, Marla reads like a troublemaker, not a killer." "Oh, unless you count crimes against fashion." "Yikes." "Hey, guys." "Remember those marks on Ash's head?" "You think they came from the knobs on Marla's bass?" "I mean, I still have to do further tests, but it sure looks like Tetris to me." "Okay, maybe Marla's our girl." "We got to find her and find that instrument." "Yeah, I spoke to her roommate." "She said Marla's here somewhere." "Yeah." "Okay, bye." "Excuse me?" "Do you recognize this woman?" "Yo, my friends, we got a special guest tonight." "Ladies and gentlemen," "Lucifer Morningstar!" "Hello, Los Angeles." "Hello." "Oh, you're too kind." "You're too kind." "Hello." "This next song is for a, uh, a special someone." "A woman who says she doesn't need me anymore." "Yeah." "Well, I say she's wrong." "And I'm gonna prove just what I'm willing to do for our partnership." "That's right, rock a sweet '90s jam." "♪ Close your eyes ♪" "♪ And give me your hand, darling ♪" "♪ Do you feel my heart beating?" "♪" "♪ Do you understand?" "♪" "♪ Do you feel the same?" "♪" "♪ Am I only dreaming?" "♪" "♪ Is this burning ♪" "♪ An eternal flame?" "♪" "♪ Say my name ♪" "♪ The sun shines through the rain ♪" "♪ A whole life, so lonely ♪" "♪ You come and ease the pain ♪" "♪ I don't want to lose this feeling ♪" "♪ Oh... ♪" "The woman I'm singing for is... someone very special." "And her name... is Marla." "Has anyone seen Marla?" "We're looking for someone called Marla." "I know she's here tonight." "She's the bass player." "Ah, there she is!" "Marla!" "Will you bring her up to the front?" "Come on." "Marla, everybody." "See?" "You need me." "That better not be Marla's bass." "It's already been processed." "And, I've written you a song." "Ready?" "♪ Crime solving Devil ♪" "♪ It makes sense ♪" "♪ Don't over think it... ♪" "Okay, it was wiped down pretty good, but..." "I found traces of Ash's blood on the tuning knobs." "What, so Marla's the killer?" "Murder solved!" "And I believe that proves just how much the department needs me." "Including you." "Uh, we got a stalker, which is normally bad, but makes me very happy right now 'cause I was getting very uncomfortable." "What on Earth does he want?" "You know I watched over Chloe for weeks after you disappeared, right?" "Angel or creeper, brother?" "It's a fine line." "You asked me to guard her, so I did." "Like an idiot!" "You see, because I thought that she meant something to you." "We both know she's special." "Oh." "That she is." "A whoopee cushion sent from Dad." "I'm sure he's having a right old laugh at the moment." "Right." "So that means it's okay to turn your back on Chloe?" "Just ignore her feelings?" "Feelings she had no control over." "Feelings that aren't real." "But she doesn't know that." "Which is why I had to save her from..." "From you." "You're not ignoring Chloe, you're protecting her because she had no choice." "So I gave it back to her." "By holding up a shield made of Candy." "I'm sorry, Lucifer." "You should at least explain some of this to Mom." "She's upset." "Good." "She died and went to Hell for you, Luci." "For you." "She faced her greatest fears all because she loves you." " Oh, come on." " Yes, she hurt you." "But she was just doing what she thought was best for you." "And from what you just told me," "I'm quite sure you can relate to that." "Come on." "What more does it take?" "You really told Lucifer where I was?" "Since when do you guys talk?" "Since he helped me save your life." "I didn't kill Ash." "Innocent people don't run." "Or get a dead guy's blood on their guitars." "Whoa, what?" "Ash's blood was all over your bass." "I don't know anything about that." "I-I ran because of these." "What, you're making fake IDs?" "That's how I make rent, okay?" "How come you didn't tell us Ash wanted to kick you out of the band?" "You didn't know that?" "S-Sure, we... bumped heads." "He... he was gonna kick me out?" "Look, even if I'd known, I wouldn't have hurt him." "You have proof?" "Um... yeah, yeah." "This kid, Hunter, from Silver Lake." "He's like 16, maybe less?" "I, uh, made him an ID that said he's 27." "Anyway, he hung around me all night." "Actually, check Wobble." "He was live posting stuff of us all night." "His ID is HunterSTomstoned." "I'm legal!" "There's a bunch more." "Looks like they cover the time of death." "Like I said, I didn't do it." "Then how did Ash's blood get all over your bass?" "Hold on, look at this." "That's Doug, our drummer." "He loaded our gear." "Doug had the bass last." "You know what?" "I should just stay here." "Finish up Marla's arrest report, but, um... maybe your consultant is free." "Doug Kennedy, LAPD." "Ugh." "Typical youth of today, leaving the door unlocked." "Uh, sorry, I..." "It's Candy." "Just..." "Candy, darling, I can't talk now." "About to catch a killer." "Gonna have to call you back!" "Let him go, Doug." "You stay back!" "J-Just stay back!" "This is all Ash's fault!" "We were gonna make it big, and then Ash said he was gonna going solo." "He was gonna bail on all of us." "I went to smack him and I freaking lost it!" "You're making this worse, Doug." "Let him go." "No." "If you care about your partner, you drop your gun, now!" "Oh, Go..." "You may as well just yank the sucker, then, Dougie, 'cause I'm useless to her, you see?" "What?" "That's not true, Lucifer." "Isn't it?" "I mean, you said as much yourself." "W-Wait, what the hell's going on?" "The detective doesn't need me anymore." "So come on." "Do your worst." "Don't listen to him, Doug." "No, go on!" "Go on, go on." "Yank like it's your last wank." "Or better still, you shoot, Detective." "Come on." "Two birds, one bullet, what do you say?" "Huh?" "You okay?" "I think so." "Yeah, that's because you shot me!" "Doug Kennedy, you're under arrest." "There's not a scratch, Detective." "Impressive marksmanship." "Actually, I was aiming for you." "Oh, my God!" "Is Lucifer okay?" "We were on the phone when he got cut off, and..." "He's in the other room, giving a statement." "Don't worry." "He's fine." "Did you save him?" "Thank you!" "Oh!" "Oh." "All..." "All righty." "That's..." "His job is way too dangerous." "I begged him to quit, but no." "My hubby's all about his work." "He is?" "Oh, my God, it's "Detective this," and "Detective that."" "Working with you means so much to him." "Well, he's got a strange way of showing it." "Well, duh." "Dude's totally messed up." "But then, you probably already know that, huh?" "'Cause you're kind of the reason why?" "What?" "Uh..." "Didn't you two just go through a super bananas situation?" "With like, poison?" "He kept saying how he almost lost you, and it was hell and stuff." "Yeah, i-it was bananas." "It, it, I... went through a lot, and, um..." "And I..." "I guess he did, too." "Great." "Statement given..." "Candy." "Oh!" "Ow." "Uh, Candy darling, the detective's not a big fan of PDA." "It's fine." "I'm just glad she's here for you." "See you tomorrow at the precinct." "Detective." "Don't be late." "_" "Amenadiel seems to think I owe you a chat." "So I'll start by saying I do not forgive you." "I deserve that." "Hmm." "However, you did make quite a sacrifice for me." "Despite your callous manipulations, maybe you were well-intentioned somewhere, deep, deep down." "Perhaps that counts for something." "I'm glad you think so, son." "Besides," "I'm far more pissed off at Dad." "I mean, you just tried to speed up feelings I already had, whereas he..." "Well." "He made all those feelings a lie." "Anyway." "Nice catching up." "I'll see you in a few millennia." "Lucifer, wait." "I appreciate your honesty." "And now, I'd like to be honest with you." "Oh." "This'll be a hoot." "Since I escaped Hell, all I've wanted is to get back to the Silver City, to reunite our family." "You're still fantasizing about heavenly rebellion?" "Just let it go, Mum." "Been there, done that, big fall." "But that's just it." "Why do you think you lost that fight?" "Oh, I don't know, let's have a think, shall we?" "Not enough cardio?" "The fact that dear old Dad's slightly almighty?" "Because I was young, woefully foolish and..." "Unarmed?" "You know that if you had possessed the Flaming Sword, the weapon that guarded Eden, the weapon that can cut through anything, even the Gates of Heaven itself, well, you would've won that rebellion." "Why are you dwelling in the past?" "The fact is, I didn't have the sword, and Dad destroyed it soon after, so..." "What if I told you that the sword was right here, on Earth?" "And it's already in your possession." "What?" "The Flaming Sword is Azrael's blade." "We have everything we need to go home." "Well, the Oscar goes to Candy Morningstar." "You think they bought it?" "Yes, my mother doesn't know what hit her." "So, thank you." "For helping me peek inside that scheming head of hers." "Well, it's the least I could do." "After what you did for me in Vegas?" "You saved my life." "Pretty sure I'm gonna owe you for the rest of it." "Let's call it even, shall we?" "Yeah." "Oh, that reminds me" "Oh, no, no, no." "You keep that." "I hear divorce is quite expensive these days." "In fact, why don't you add this one to the, uh, pot?" "Thank you." "I'll put them both to good use." "'Cause, you know, I totally have so many plans." "Oh, God." "Well, to making plans." "Yeah." "All right." "Lucifer." "I get why you had me con your family." "But what is going on with you and Detective Decker?" "It's none of my business, but..." "I wouldn't screw that one up." "I'm trying not to."