"The One With Joey's New Girlfriend" "Hello!" "What's this?" "Oh right it's that girl's phone number." "Yeah-yeah, there it is, just a phone number a really hot girl gave me." "It's no big deal, I mean it is her home phone number, but..." "Whoa!" "Whoa-whoops, I almost lost this baby!" "Yeah, the lovely Amanda gives me her number and I-I go and drop it." "Thank you. today is my sister's birthday!" "plz wish "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"" " Rachel?" " Yeah?" "When's your birthday?" "May fifth, why?" "Oh, I-I'm just making a list of people's birthdays." " Oh, mine's December..." " Yeah, whatever." "Ohh, she's pretty." "Pretty ahh, pretty girl, the pretty--she's pretty." "Just go up to her and ask her out." "Oh, what's the worst thing that could happen?" "I could die." "Yeah, it's-it's tough being single." "That's why I'm so glad I found Amanda." "Ross, you guys went out once." "You took your kids to Chucky Cheese, and you didn't even kiss her." "I tell people secrets." "It makes them like me." " Oh." " Hey!" "Phoebe!" "You're sick, you shouldn't play." "You should just go home, get in bed, and stay there." "But I'm unemployed, my music is all I really have now." "Well music, and making my own shoes." "Pretty, huh?" "All right, I'm gonna do it!" "I'm gonna get shot down." "Any advice?" "Just be yourself." "But, not too much." "Wish me luck." "Good luck!" "Wish it!" "Hi." "Hi, I-I was just sitting over there, and uhh, Chandler." "My name is Chandler." "Did I say that?" "No, you didn't." "Hi, I'm Kathy." "Uh Kathy, with K or a C?" " With a K." " Oh-oh-hey!" "Wow!" "You are really good at this." "Hey, come on, give me a break, I'm out on a limb here." "I'm sorry, you're right, I apologize, but I should tell you that I'm waiting for a date." "Oh, and there he is now." "Hey!" "Hey!" "Hey, hey-hey, hey." "Hey, I see you guys already met, huh?" "Yes-yes, I was just trying to figure out a way to uh, demonstrate how I could get my exceptionally large feet into my even bigger mouth." "Didn't I tell ya?" "Always showing' off." "Before I start, I just wanna say that umm, I have a cold, so if I sneeze in the middle of song, it's not on purpose." "Oh, except the last verse of Pepper People." "Smelly cat, smelly cat." "What are they feeding you?" "This chick sounds good." "Smelly cat, smelly" "Hey Gunther, be a good little boy and bring me a whiskey." "Hi!" "Hi." "Jeez, at 2:30 in the morning, I didn't expect to have to fight over the remote." "I'm sorry, it's just this Ernie Cofax thing on in a few minutes I wanted to watch." "Oh my God!" "That's why I got up too!" "You're kidding!" "Oh, I love him." "Hey, listen, I'm sorry about this afternoon, y'know, if I would've known you guys were..." "I never would've..." "Oh please!" "So ah, Joey tells me you two met in acting class." "Yeah, they teamed us up as partners." "Joey picked three scenes for us to do all of them had us making out." "That's a good thing actually, because ah, he used to have me rehearse with him." "Oh-oh-oh-oh!" " Is it on?" " No, but this wonder broom is amazing!" "Hey!" "Oh my God!" "Oh!" "It's on!" "It's on!" "There we go little fella." "What about the duck?" " Well the duck can swim." " Oh, jeez." "My sticky shoes, my sticky-sticky shoes, why do you stick on me, ba-a-by!" "Thanks for the lights honey." "Way to go, Phoebe!" "That cold makes you sound so great." "It's fun, God I love how sexy I am." "Oh, Kath, we should get going." "We're going to by hamsters." "Ooh, that's great, I love those little guys." "No, no, it's not like that." "I, I work for a medical researcher." " Well, have fun!" " Okay." "Well, I think it's great that the medical community is finally trying to help sick hamsters." "Y'know what, I like Kathy." "Oh yeah, me too, she's so cool and pretty." "Yeah, she's..." "She's smart and funny, y'know?" "We were up all last night talking, she said the funniest thing about--what?" "You love her." "No, I don't." "Yes, you do." "Chandler loves Kathy." "Come on, Pheebs just lay off him." "Thank you, Ross." "Yeah, he's a little sensitive right now, `cause he's so in love." " All right." " Ohh!" " All right." "Ooh, umm, oh Kathy!" "Kathy, I love you!" "Oh!" "So, I need to write some depressing stuff to go along with my new floozy voice, but nothing that sad has ever really happened to me." "Oh umm, how about your mom dying, or having to live on the streets when you were 14?" "Uh-huh." "Oh, yeah, I could write about the time my hair did that "Woo-hoo" thing." "Hey!" " Hey!" " Hey." "So I'm going over to Amanda's tonight!" "Rachel's not here." "Oh." "How's it going with her?" "Great, actually." "I'm thinking tonight, maybe the night." "Yeah, I mean ah, the kids are gonna play together and then when they're asleep," "I'm thinking Amanda and I break open a bottle of wine, and do a little "playing" ourselves." "Hi guys!" "This is Josh." "Josh, these are my friends, and that's Ross." " Hi, Josh." " Hi." "Dudes." "So, did you play in college?" "Oh, I still do." "Next year, I hope to make varsity though." "Ross, didn't you ah, play soccer in High School?" "Oh no wait, that's right." "You just organized their game schedules on your Commodore 64." "Well, it's getting late, I've got to get to the game, so I'm gonna... head." "Okay." "I'll miss you." "Dope!" "Wow, cute one!" "Very!" "I know, isn't he great?" "It's so nice to finally be in a fun relationship, y'know?" "There's nothing boring about him, and ah, I bet he's never set foot in a museum." "Well maybe he'll get to go soon, like on a class trip or something." "Y'know what else is really great about him, oh, what is the word for the adult that doesn't have dinosaur toys in their bedroom?" "Oh!" "What was that?" "Monica knows." "It's this dumb thing that Ross made up `cause he was trying to fool our parents." "It's a way of giving the finger, without actually having to give it." "I remember I cried the night you made it up," "`cause it was the first time that I realized that I was actually cooler than my big brother." "Well, I'm gonna go get ready, for my date tonight, so ah, I'll just head." "Yeah, I should go to, `cause I'm playing in one hour." "Hey, you guys should come hear me, ooh hear me." "Ooh," "My sticky shoes--eww!" "Eww!" "I lost my sexy phlegm!" " Hi!" " Hi!" " Hi Ben!" "Wow!" "You-you look great!" "Thanks!" "Okay!" "Hey Tommy." "I am so glad that you could come over tonight." "Oh no-no-no, it's my pleasure." "Okay, well, my cell phone number is right here on the counter, please help yourself to anything in the fridge." "What?" "I appreciate this soo much, I've been trying to go out with this guy for like a month." " I-I-I..." " Oh, I don't mean to be a square, but I'd really appreciate it if you wait and drink your wine after the kids are asleep?" "Oh uh, thanks for this, I hope I can do the same for you sometime." "Who wants to make some long distance calls?" "Kathy!" "Kathy!" "Hi!" "Kathy!" "Kathy!" "Kathy!" "Fetch!" "Fetch it!" "Kathy!" "Kathy!" "Kathy!" "Kathy!" "Kathy." "Hey, Chandler!" "What are you doing here?" "Oh, I just wanted to say, "Hey!"" "Hey!" "Okay." "Oh come on!" "You're making it sound worse than it actually was." "Her date tipped me ten dollars." "Pheebs, what are you doing?" "Okay, I wanna be sexy again so I'm trying to catch a cold." "It should be easy, supposedly they're pretty common." "Phoebe, you'll catch pneumonia." "Okay." "You were right." "I'm in love with Joey's girlfriend." "What?" "!" "Are you serious?" "Well, how-how-how is that possible?" "You barely know her!" "I don't know." "I can't--I just, I can't get her out of my head." "Y'know?" "I mean, I'm a very bad person." "I'm a very, very bad person." "I'm a horrible person." "No you're not Chandler!" "We still love you Chandler!" "Oh gosh, Phoebe, I think I caught your cold." "You mean you stole it!" "Don't cover your mouth when you do that!" "Hey." "We were just talking about you." "Really?" "!" "Yeah-yeah, I told her about the time you got drunk and fell asleep with your head in the toilet." "Right in there!" "99...100!" "Ready or not, here I come!" "All right, let's go over the concept one more time." "Hey!" "Hey!" "Hey guys." "Listen uh, you wanna get some dinner with me and Kathy tonight?" "Ohh, umm, y'know what, I already ate." "It's 4:30." "Y'know I had a big meal on Monday, y'know." "So that's just gonna get me straight through the week." "Okay, I see what's going on here." "You-you do?" "Yeah!" "You don't like Kathy." "You got me." "Yeah, you've been avoiding her ever since we started going out." "Look," "I made an effort to like Janice, now I think it's your turn to make an effort to like Kathy by going out to dinner with us." "Right?" "Yeah." "Right." "Good, and hey!" "My treat." " But that's only because you're not eating anything, right?" " Okay." "Ross isn't here." "Oh." "Stop it!" "So I'll see you at the party?" "Beer's beer man, 24, 7!" "Yeah!" "I am soo gonna marry that guy." "Ohhh!" "What?" "I think he's stealing from me." "Why?" "Because he's stealing from me!" "Hi!" "It's me." "And soup." "Hey, I just saw Josh, he looks so yummy in your leather jacket." "Ughh!" "Here, now I don't eat chicken, so it's just noodle soup." "And there's no chicken in the broth either, so it's really just... noodle water." " Thank you so much Phoebe." " Sure." "What are you doing with those?" "!" "But, I need your germs!" "I want my cold back!" "I miss my sexy voice." "Sorry, Phoebe." "It's okay." "How's the soup?" "Umm." "Ohhhh!" "Gross!" "Ohh, God, guys, check it out, you can see that girl's underwear!" "Is she great or what?" "So?" "Huh?" "What do you think?" "Ohh, she's-she's not really my type." "Not your type?" "!" "She's gorgeous!" "Y'know what I think it is?" "It's the fishnet stockings." "Y'know?" "Whenever I see a girl in fishnet stockings it reminds me of my father in fishnet stockings." "Okay." "Understanding a little more why you're single." "Ohh!" "Y'know, I have a friend you would like, she's really pretty." "And then we could double date!" "Uhh, I no-no thanks." "Okay, I've got some ugly friends, and they're all available too." "Listen, I-I'm gonna grab a beer." "I'll be right back." "What was that?" "What?" "Kathy was being really nice and you just walked away." "I thought we had a deal." "Hey, look, what do you want from me?" "I want you to like her!" "But if that's too damned difficult for you, then the least you can do is pretend." "I am pretending." "Well then, do it better!" "Okay, what do you saw I go over there and say how much I like her?" "No-no it'll be good, I can tell her much I've been thinking about her." "That I haven't stopped thinking about her since the moment I met her." "That I'm so fantastically, over-the-top, wanna-slit-my-own-throat in love with her, that for every minute of every hour of every day I can't believe my own damn bad luck that you met her first!" "Well, that's pretty good." "But you might wanna tone it down a little." "Hey!" "So, uhh, Amanda just-just dropped me off." "Yeah, that's one of the things I love about her, she's...uh, she's old enough to drive." "So uhh, I guess you're not going to mom and dad's tonight?" "No, sorry." "Well where's Amanda?" "Hey Rach, could you get me some cough drops?" "I mean y'know, I'm thinking." "You could bring her, and you guys could go up to your old room, and not make out." "Ross, cough drops, please?" "At least I know she's not going out with me to get into R rated movies." "Why don't you just marry her?" "Oh no, wait a minute you can't, I'm sorry I forgot, she's not a lesbian." " You see Amanda and I have a very special..." " You have nothing!" "You're not even going out!" "You're her baby sitter!" "You have a 12-year-old girl's job!" "Ohh, that is soo sad." "And what are you laughing at, Miss `My-keg-sucking-boyfriend-is-stealing-from-me!" "'" "Hey, so he stole a couple bucks from me!" "At least he bought me something with it!" "That's mine!" "would you both please start acting like adults?" "And get me my cough drops!" "Fine." "Sorry." "Here." "At least I made ten bucks in my relationship." "Y'know..." "Platting goats are platting." "Platting down the street." "Platting goats are platting, leaving little treats." "Does it even work without my sexy voice?" "I like it." "Gunther, kiss me." "What?" "Hey!" "Now, we're not actually gonna be sleeping in her, but do you mind?" "Can I sleep on your couch?" "And I'm still waiting for my paper mache man." "Thank you my babies." "Rachel?" "Yeah." "I don't know if you heard about what happened between me and Phoebe the other day_" "No!" "Well, we kissed." "I-I-I didn't initiate the kiss, but-but I also didn't stop it, and I've been feeling guilty." "Okay." "So umm, are we cool?" "Okay." "I knew you'd understand."