"NARRATOR:" "Previously on Batman:" "The Brave and the Bold:" "[RED HOOD SCREAMS]" "[BOTH GRUNTING]" "BATMAN:" "The phase oscillator." "A bridge to parallel Earths." "Owlman's a parallel me." "An evil one." "OWLMAN:" "Where you going?" "BATMAN:" "To get answers." " Red Hood, stay down." "I'm here to help." " You're from the parallel world." "Whoever he is, I hope my counterpart on your world will have a chance to repay you." "[SIRENS WAILING]" "Hands up, Batman." "You're under arrest." "BATMAN:" "This is clearly a mistake." "I'll just explain." "Your reign of terror in Gotham is over, freak." "BATMAN:" "Or maybe not." "OFFICER:" "Hey, uh..." "[OFFICERS COUGHING]" "OFFICER:" "What?" "Huh?" "[OFFICER GRUNTS]" "Batman's heading west on Haney." "[OVER RADIO] Suspect known to be armed and very dangerous." "BATMAN:" "I return from the world of opposites only to find my own has gone topsy-turvy." "And according to the date, I've been gone three weeks." "Seems the phase oscillator does more than simply bridge worlds." "It warps time." "[ALARM RINGING]" "Of course, looks like I wasn't the only one playing dress-up on a parallel world." "[OFFICERS GRUNTING]" "[BOTH GRUNTING]" "Welcome home, Dark Knight." "Owlman." "You beat my fail-safe holding cell." "A titanium alloy, seven pin, eight cam lock with only three layers of redundancy?" "That wouldn't have stopped you." "[GRUNTING AND SHOUTING]" "Since you're alive, that means you defeated my friends and freed my enemies." "Impressive." "I bet you'd like the keys to your life back now, such as it is." "And you'd like the phase oscillator so you can go home and prepare an invasion." "You're a hard bat to pin down, old friend." "Hero one second, villain the next." "Green Arrow, the criminal you're after isn't me." "He's my evil double from a parallel world." "Right." "[BEEPING]" "[GRUNTS]" "BATMAN:" "I have spider holes like this all over Gotham, built to surprise my enemies." "[SIRENS WAILING]" "Never expected to use them to save myself." "Bat's knocked out two guards." "[OVER RADIO] Blew up a lot of cash and got away from me." "Whatever his game is, he's going down tonight." "And no, O'Brian, your assistance is not required." "Bat's in my crosshairs." "[GRUNTS AND SHOUTS]" "[BATMAN GRUNTS]" "And to think, all those lectures you gave me about staying on the straight and narrow." "How does he do that?" "BATMAN:" "No response from the car." "Of course, Owlman stole it and reprogrammed it." "GREEN ARROW:" "Blind alley." "He's trapped." "BATMAN:" "So this is how it ends." "Not in battle against criminals, but taken down by my own best friends." "PLASTIC MAN:" "How does he do that?" "[GRUNTING]" "MAN:" "Tsk, tsk, tsk." "Batman, our game was so simple." "Brooding hero, dashing, devil-may-care villain." "I strap you to a drill press, you lock me in a rubber room." "And it's fits and giggles until Aunt Fanny comes home." "But if you think you can switch sides and out-criminal the clown prince of crime it's only fair to warn you I always blow away the competition." "Recently, business has been lousy but I'm about to make a real killing." "[LAUGHS]" "[LAUGHING]" "[GRUNTS]" "Huh, never could take a joke." " But I can deliver a punchline." " Hold the trolley." "I don't wanna fight." "I wanna be partners." "Assuming you're you and not that pointy-eared fake-in-a-cape." "How do you know about my imposter?" "Still wound tighter than a straightjacket, I see." "Ah, you're the dull deal, all right." "And as for your doppel-gangster..." "You see, he messed with the natural order." "Not your style at all." "Batman, a worse threat to Gotham than the harlequin of hate?" "Why, it's libelous, I say!" "You know it's always been my gift to bring smiles to others." "[LAUGHING]" "JOKER:" "But inside, I'm one very sad clown." "So crazy thought." "You and I team against our common foe." "Only a twisted diseased mind like yours could think of such a plan." "I'll deal with Owlman myself." "You need me, Sunny Jim." "If the new you is as good at being bad as the old you is at being you then neither of you can beat the other on your own, see?" "But if Owlman's another you, he craves control." "And who better to take down a control freak than the nemesis of order the clown prince of chaos, moi." "Just think about how many times I've nearly punched your ticket." "BATMAN:" "The clown's crazy, but he's onto something." "Adding an unexpected element to the mix could tip things in my favor." "PLASTIC MAN:" "Found him." "And he's not alone." "So shall we take your car or mine?" "[JOKER LAUGHS AND CAR HORN HONKS]" "That's the clown's car." "Stop it." "So how we doing?" "Did we get them?" "You're an idiot." "BATMAN:" "We need to go somewhere safe to figure out our next move." "But Owlman has the Batmobile." "[CAR APPROACHING]" "Stop." "Good thing I keep a spare." "We'll make the bestest team ever." "Joker and Batman." "Fine, Batman and Joker." "Take top billing." "Why is it always me compromising for the sake of the act?" "Joker, if we're going to work together, I need your word you won't hurt anyone." "Hmm, not really me, but what the heck." "I'm in." "Put her there." "Oopsy-Batsy, old habits." "Speaking of old, they don't build them like this anymore." " So, what's this one do?" " Don't touch that." " What's this do?" " Don't touch that." " What's this one do?" " Don't touch that." "Oh, shiny." "What does this one do?" "You really don't wanna touch that." "[SNORING]" "Told you not to touch it." "[GAS HISSING]" "[JOKER GROANS]" "[BATS SCREECHING]" "My, what big ears you have." "Jiminy Christmas, the Batcave!" "[JOKER GASPS]" "Look at all your toys!" "[JOKER GASPS]" "Oh, an entire wing, pour moi?" "I knew you cared." "[GROWLING]" "We need to find a pattern, deduce Owlman's next target." "I combed through Owlman's files, he searched mine." "Which means Owlman knows every hero's weakness." "What?" "I'm helping." "BATMAN:" "I keep detailed files on my friends." "Methods to neutralize them in case any of us ever fall under a criminal's control." "Huh?" "[GRUNTS]" "[SCREAMS]" "[SCREAMS]" "[GRUNTS]" "BATMAN:" "I never dreamed my precautions would fall into the wrong hands." "Evil hands." "Well, Joker, you ready to do this?" "To the Batmobile." "[JOKER LAUGHING]" "Ooh, what's this one do?" "[GAS HISSES]" "[JOKER SNORING]" "[GRUNTS]" "Sensing a lack of trust, Batsy." "I get it." "We don't play well with others, so end of the day neither of us can count on anyone but ourselves." "Arrow?" "Beetle?" "Anyone copy?" "I read you, Bats." "You two clowns ready to pay your debt to society earn a fresh start and a clean slate?" "BATMAN [OVER RADIO]:" "O'Brian, you're in danger." "Stay put." "I'm coming to you." "Nice try, Batman." "Even you can't get the drop on me three times in one day." "[SCREAMS]" "[SHIVERING] How does he do that?" "I hope you're hungry." "You're about to be served a heaping double-dip of justice." "Remember our deal, Joker." "[GRUNTING]" "OWLMAN:" "Hey, I got the heroes off your back." "How about a little gratitude?" "Say, a phase oscillator, perhaps?" "Not feeling very gracious right now." "[GRUNTING AND SHOUTING]" "So not hurt anyone, hmm." "Too toxic." "Too stabby." "Too fruity." "Say, where's my...?" "[BAZOOKA BEEPING]" "The real one will move." "He always does." "[GROANING]" "Ha, ha, oopsie." "[GRUNTS]" "[CAR APPROACHING]" "[GROANS]" "Joker?" "How absolutely exhilarating." "I could get used to this hero stuff." "Besides, nobody kills my wingman but me." "OWLMAN [OVER RADIO]:" "We all know how this works." "A fair trade." "Your buddies for my phase oscillator." "Everyone goes home happy." "Listen, you creep in Bat's clothing, we don't make deals with criminal scum." "Don't touch my radio." "We don't make deals with criminal scum, usually." "Don't care about your friends?" "Fine." "How about the man in the street?" "[PEOPLE SCREAMING]" "Brake, choke, throttle." "Ooh, my kind of fun." "[SCREAMS]" "Please, don't hurt me, Batman." "[LAUGHING]" "Huh?" "[GRENADES BEEPING]" "[GROANS]" "Clownface saved me." "Oh, watch out, Clownface." "It's Batman." "It's okay, kiddo." "Bat-breath's with me." "Bye-bye, Clownface." "Fess up, Bats." "What made you take a chance on me?" "RED HOOD:" "Whoever he is I hope my counterpart on your world will have a chance to repay you." "Something a friend said." "OWLMAN:" "Gentlemen, I hope you're enjoying your accommodations." "Each was tailored to your special needs." "[AQUAMAN GROANS]" "Five more minutes under that lamp, Aquaman, and you'll be fish jerky." "[PLASTIC MAN GRUNTING]" "Hope you like taffy, Plastic Man." "You're about to become it." "My own invention, Blue Beetle." "Heroes check in, but they don't check out." "Atom, at your size a hit from a single lead particle will be like a direct shot from a cannonball." "Speaking of shots..." "Yeah, okay, I get it." "OWLMAN:" "When this magnet tears you apart, Red Tornado Clock King will get a chance to see what makes you tick." "BATMAN:" "So you recruited these venomous vipers to help you with your diabolical scheme." "Of course, Batman." "Seems they wanted to see all of you iced too." "So I repeat, give me the phase oscillator or the heroes die." "And you lose your only ticket home." "[GRUNTING AND SHOUTING]" "OWLMAN:" "Time out." "Since Batman's being such a spoilsport, Joker, maybe you'll wanna play along." "I knew you were coming, so I planned a surprise just for you." "[MACHINE BUZZES]" "Your very own trap, primed and ready for Batman, if you're interested." "Joker?" "Oh, Bat-buddy, we shared some laughs and I really gave the hero thing the old clown-college try." "But it's just not me." "[JOKER LAUGHING]" "Oh, what fun." "[GRUNTING]" "Wormholes?" "Wormholes." "So that's how he does it." "[GRUNTS]" "I'll be taking what's mine now." "When I return with my friends, we'll take everything else." "Well, finally a Batman who's in on the joke." "[JOKER LAUGHING]" "BATMAN:" "I knew you'd betray me, Joker." "You said it." "In the end, I'd have to count on myself." "So in the split second I was gone, I spent a week visiting parallel Earths." "Traveling alone is a great way to get in touch with yourself." "In fact, I really bonded with me, myself and I." "Shall we?" "[GRUNTING AND SHOUTING]" "[JOKER LAUGHING]" "[JOKER LAUGHING]" "PLASTIC MAN:" "Excuse me." "[JOKER LAUGHING]" "Out of the way, you giggling ghoul." "JOKER:" "No way, Bat-fake." "He's mine." "It's my destiny to take out the caped crusader." "[MACHINE BUZZES]" "Drat." "BATMAN:" "Funny thing about wild cards, Joker." "You never know which way they'll fall." "[SIREN WAILING]" "You know I'll be back somehow to even the score, Batman." "And you know I'll take you down every time." "[OWLMAN GRUNTS]" "If you ever need anything, you know where to find me." "Psst." "Bats, based on this little adventure if you weren't the stalwart hero and I wasn't the homicidal maniac we could've been friends." "BATMAN:" "Thanks to the Red Hood I know that somewhere inside the Joker there is a decent man." "But next time, Batman, I'll have the trump card." "The clown prince of crime will have the final laugh." "[LAUGHING]" "BATMAN:" "Or maybe not." "[ENGLISH SDH]"