"In the year 50 B.C." "all of Gaul was covered with an impenetrable forest... where calm, peace and quiet reigned supreme." "Only the birds..." "Hold on." "Hold on!" "I said the year 50 B.C!" "Thank you." "In the year 50 B.C. all of Gaul was covered with impenetrable forests, where calm, peace and quiet reigned supreme." "Julius Caesar, after much fierce fighting, had succeeded in conquering the land... intending to set the seal of Roman civilisation on his latest conquest." "Yes, in the year 50 B.C. all of Gaul was occupied by the Romans." "All?" "No!" "Somewhere in Armorica, a little village was holding out against the invaders." "A little village surrounded by entrenched Romans." "The inhabitants of that village, do I really need to introduce them?" "Will the people in the room who haven't met them yet please hold up their hands?" "Ah, all right." "Lower your hands, lower your hands." "I'll make the introductions." "This big hut is the home of the undisputed chief of the village." "The formidable Abraracourcix." "Darling." "Darling!" "Please, darling, it ought to be me up on that shield!" "I'm the chief after all!" "I've got to go out shopping." "You can have your shield back later." "Meanwhile, you tidy the place up a bit." "It's like a wild boar's sty!" "Come on, you two!" "This is Assurancetourix, the village bard." "People don't always appreciate his talents... and sometimes express their feelings in a tactful and delicate way." "Ah, here comes Idéfix, the village mascot... and a great friend of Obelix, the carrier of menhirs." "Come, Idéfix." "Come, my sweet, come here." "I'm teaching him to retrieve menhirs, Astérix." "He could be a big help in my work." "You know, Obelix, it isn't that I don't think that dog's very intelligent... but I do sometimes wonder if he isn't a rather small to carry menhirs." "The voice of reason you have just heard... belongs to the renowned Astérix, the best warrior in the village." "The adventures of Astérix... are on sale in all the best bookshops and have been translated into every language." "Salute!" "Guten tag!" "Hello!" "Hi!" "こんにちは!" "Brao chu!" "Skopula opuko!" "Farmenesh!" "Kokarico!" "But you may ask yourself how did this little village with its handful of warriors... manage to hold out against the all powerful Roman invaders?" "Well, that was thanks to the magic potion brewed up by the Druid Panoramix... which gave superhuman strength to those who were lucky enough to get it." "Oh, no Obelix!" "No!" "The potion has had a permanent effect on you!" "You know you fell into the Cauldron when you were a baby." ""...fell into the Cauldron when you were a baby..." Nhanhanhay..." "Oh, some Romans!" "Centurion, what is the point of having another go?" "You know what's going to happen." "That lot are not human." "Maybe, but those are Caesar's orders." "Who knows, perhaps it will be different this time." "Charge the gate!" "Form square!" "Barbarians!" "Well that's it, they are barbaric." "Join the army." "Join the army, they said." "It didn't turn out so very different form usual, did it, Centurion?" " No, no not very." " I know a rather good joke..." "Post equitem sedet atra cura." "Right, these Gauls will make Latin a dead language... if Julius Caesar would insist on fighting them." "Those Gauls are simply not human Centurion, they just are not human." "You're right, they're not human." "Ordinary mortals could not resist the might of the Roman army." "I told you so." "They must be gods." "We couldn't hope to fight the gods." "I'm going to Rome to tell Caesar." "The gods are against us!" "Gods?" "Did those villagers hit you in the head too hard?" "Gods?" "That's laughable!" "But Caesar, you do have to admit... that these villagers can keep your army at bay." "In my opinion it is time we come to adopt a... realistic approach to the situation." "If the gods are against us, we're done for." "While seeking to follow a constructive line..." "I hope none the less to be quite objective... and I have therefore come to the following conclusion... it is no good trying to fight gods." "Let us suppose, to look on the bright side, we've only got to deal with demigods." "Well even so, it is still an extremely unpleasant predicament." "To take a concrete example, Hercules." "Who is willing to take on Hercules?" "Hercules?" "Gods or Demigods!" "I, Caesar, will show you cowardly old counsellors... that half-wits are only mortal, very mortal." "Brutus, stop playing with that knife." "You'll end up hurting somebody." "But how are you going to show us that those Gauls aren't gods after all, oh Caesar?" "Well first I shall visit them myself and I shall put them to certain tests... which only the gods could perform." "And if they are gods, I should give in." "But if they are just men, ordinary human beings... they'll have to face the anger of Caesar!" "And by Jupiter, I tell you they'll finish up inside the lions of the circus!" "Prepare my chariot, and my guards to escort me!" "I think I heard a bell going darling, will you go and see who is there?" "Julius Caesar is outside and wants to see you." "Julius Caesar, the Julius Caesar?" "Himself." "Right, a towel for my feet, fetch my shoes." "Let everyone know, Astérix!" "Where have those carriers gone to?" "Yes, yes, I'm coming!" " Leave them to me, leave them to me." " Calm, Obelix, let the chief have a word." " Ave, village chief!" " Hi, Julius, what are you doing here?" "I have come to make a suggestion." "Your defiance of me is bad for my reputation!" "In Rome they're starting to laugh at me." "They are saying a bunch of halfwits can hold the Roman army at bay." "Really, watch your language, by Toutasis." "You want some..." "But other people say you must be gods." " Gods?" " Gods?" "Yes, gods, and if that is so then I will admit defeat." "But if you are only men... then you will have to give in into my power and accept our laws." "And how are me and my friends supposed to prove if we are really gods?" " I wonder if you have heard of Hercules?" " Hercules Minus the grocer?" "No, no." "The god Hercules!" "He performed twelve difficult labours, which earned him a place on Olympus." "The gods saw that he must be one of them." "Twelve labours?" "What labours?" "He strangled the Nemean Lion, killed the Lernaean Hydra, caught the Erymanthian Boar alive... hunted the Golden Hind of Artemis, shot the Stymphalian Bird with his bow... tamed the bull on the Island of Crete, killed Diomedes... conquered the Amazons, cleaned the Augean stables in a day, killed Geryon... stole the golden apples of the Hesperides and set Theseus free from Hades." "And to prove we are gods, you want us to do all these daft things?" "Not exactly, that's all a bit out of date now." "I set up a new set of labours." "Only gods could hope to perform all of them." "If you succeed, I will surrender myself to you... but if you fail in even one task, then you will have to surrender." "Is that a deal?" " You bet your life, it's a deal." " Yes yes!" "Right." "These labours will take you to Rome." "Caius Pupus!" "Caius Pupus will act as your guide along the way... and see that the labours are fairly performed." "He's the most trustworthy man and very honest." "So, if you should succeed, Rome will surrender." "If you fail in a single labour... then you will all become slaves of Rome." " Okay, we understand." " Ave!" "Poor guys." "You really think Caesar would surrender and let you become masters of Rome?" "Come to think of it, perhaps we got a bit carried away." "Oh, your magic potion will help us out Druid." "Sure, we'll have lots of fun, by Toutatis!" " Lots of fun?" " Astérix is the cleverest man among us... and Obelix is the strongest, so you two are the only ones who can succeed." "May Toutatis hear you." "Here is a gourd full of magic potion, mind you use it well." "You're going to need it!" "Yes, you're going to need it." " Well then, are we on?" " We're off." "It's funny I wonder why Assurancetourix hasn't shown up to sing us a farewell song." "Hi, now for the first labour, follow me, please?" "This is Merinus, just back from Marathon." "He was the fastest runner at the Olympic Games." "He can run faster than a horse, faster than the stone wind that howls through the trees." "One of you will have to beat him in a race." "You'll do it Astérix!" "You're faster than me, faster than a horse wind howling through the trees." "Perfect." "We'll be waiting for you on the other side of the forest at the finishing line." "Start when all the sand has run out of the hour glass." "Well, fancy that, you are a real Olympic champion." "That's very interesting." "We have athletics in the village too... but obviously as we all get some of the magic potion it is not very exciting." "Are you listening to me?" "Right, I was saying it's not very interesting because... we all get there at once and we have to draw lots with the winner." "You notice that I don't need to drink any magic potion because I'm very fast." "I say, you are not very chatty are you?" "Hey, wait for me!" "I think I'd better take a little bit of the potion." "The village's future is at stake." "Hey there, not a bad start, you really took me by surprise!" "I got a held up back there in the forest because I stopped to pick mushrooms." "You see?" "I like picking flowers too." "Look, aren't they beautiful?" "If you like apples, I know a good place over there where there is a good tree." "Funny, the race has improved his profile." "That seems to be the first of your labours performed quite successfully." "So now for the next labour." "Kermes the Persian, the most amazing javelin thrower the world has ever seen." "His javelin has crossed seas and oceans." "Your second labour is to throw the javelin further than Kermes." "War!" "This means war!" "Let me this time Astérix, let me!" "All right!" "But throw it as far as you can." "Just you watch!" "Second labour performed, and now for the next one." "You are going to fight Silindric the German." "No wrestler or gladiator has ever beaten him." "Silindric the German will come in that way." "You must wait for him here." "Look at the size of those gates." "He must be big, Silindric the German." "Yes, I like them big and strong." " That's him, Silindric the German?" " Why he isn't big at all!" "I like them big." "Hey, suppose we give him some magic potion, Astérix?" "Good day, which of you two gentleman is first or both of you at once maybe ja?" "I'll go first and finish him off at once and then we go on to the next labour." "All right, but watch out, there must be a catch." "He's got some funny clothes on." "No the robes don't make the druid!" " Oh the fat gentleman first, ja?" " I am not fat!" " Good, good, gut." "The fat one first." " Listen you!" "I say, what a splendid way to fight." "I've never seen anything like it." "Ah ja I have learned it on my travels, long long travels far away." " You would like to have a go, ja?" " Ja, yes, sorry." "It's easy." "You only have to use the man's own strength to get them down." "The stronger he is, the better for you." "Easy, easy, you just say that because you're strong." "Nein, nein, word of honour." "Try it yourself, here take my hand." "Put your foot right on the stomach, then raise backward, bend down." "Ja, ja, very good, gut." "Harder, ja!" "Like this?" "Ja, ja, sehr gut." "Ganz gut." "You get the idea." "Harder." "Faster!" "Ja." "Perfect!" "Very good." "Gut." "Schön." "Ja!" "Ja!" "Ja!" "Ja!" " That's it!" " Was it really good?" "Very good, but a little bit soft, nein?" "Gut." "When you have got me on the ground... you take the advantage that I'm a little dizzy and you jump on me, ja." " Like that?" " Gut!" "Schön!" "You take hold of my arm like this." "And then you pull, you tie a knot." "Ganz gut!" "And then the other arm." "Ja, excellent!" "And what will you think of next?" "The legs!" "Right leg... wunderbar!" "Left leg... fantastic!" "And now you can see I can't move at all!" "You've won!" "They have beaten me, sir." "They have got through the first three labours all right." "Not bad, but it proves nothing." "Rome is not Gaulish yet." "They've not had much to prove so far." "But now, now..." "They will have to face the princesses of the Isle of Pleasure!" "I never knew there was a lake here." "Well there is, and you have to get across it." "That's your next labour." "I shall go and wait on the other side." "Of course it's inconceivable that you could succeed." "There is a boat over there." "Have a good trip." "I call this test a piece of cake." "We'll reach the other side in no time." "We'd better be careful though, you can never tell." "The lake is calm and the boat doesn't seem to leak, and..." "Oh, they sing better than Assurancetourix." "Welcome to the Isle of Pleasure." "We were expecting you." "This way." "Nice little place you've got, but who are you, madam?" "Never mind who we are, bold one." "Give yourself up to pleasure." "This way." "We're going to show you all of our island." "And now you've seen our island, the island you will never leave again." "Your every wish will be our command, forever and ever." "What would you like, oh warrior?" " Some food." " Some food?" "Why not?" "I'm starved." "Dancing like that makes me hungry." "You're here on the Isle of Pleasure and the chief priestess herself has asked for your desire... and you desire food?" "Of course!" "Eating is a great pleasure." "This is the Isle of Pleasure isn't it?" "All right, all right!" "We can provide nectar and ambrosia." "Nectar, ambro..." "No, come on!" "Not that boring stuff." "I want a nice wild boar, wild boar is very tasty." "You call nectar and ambrosia boring?" "But that is the favourite food of the gods." "Well, are you gods or aren't you?" "Well, I suppose we may be gods, but we eat wild boar." "But there aren't any wild boar on this island." "What!" "There aren't any boar... and you expect me to stay with you for good?" "You must be off your head!" "Get lost, fatty, do you really think I would lower myself to do your cooking?" " And the washing up too." " And housework!" " And bring your slippers!" " Push off, get out!" "You bet your life I'll get out, by Toutatis." "They have no wild boar, and they dare to call this the isle of pleasure!" "Come on, Astérix, there's nothing here for us." "Never mind him." "We'll give you pleasure such as the gods enjoy on Olympus, oh warrior." "Astérix!" "The next labour will take place in that temple." " What do we have to do in there?" " You will be required to look deep... into the dreaded eyes of the Iris, the great Egyptian magician." "By Osiris and by Apis, look at me, look at me well!" "You have turned into a cat!" "By Osiris and Apis, a cat." "That's right!" "By Osiris and by Apis." "There's a dear pussy cat." "Off you go, little pussy cat." "Next, please." "By Osiris and by Apis, look at me well." "You are now a bird." "Yes, a bird by Osiris and by Apis, a bird!" " You saw that?" " Yes, he was flying low." "We'll have rain." "Next!" "What is all this about?" "Yes, I remember now." "And which one of you is to undergo my pleasure treatment?" "I'm sorry to rush you, my appointment book is very full." " I'll have a go." " All right, seat yourself just there." "Ready then?" "I'll begin." "By Osiris and by Apis look at me!" "Look!" "How do you do all that with your eyes?" "Silence, concentrate please!" "By Osiris and by Apis look at me, look at me well!" "By Osiris and by Apis you have turned into a... in what?" "A wild boar!" "You Gauls are very fond of wild boar." "Lets start again." "By Osiris and by Apis, look at me well!" "You are now a wild boar!" "Yes, a wild boar." "Can you light one of them up at a time?" "Silence!" "I'm concentrating!" "Where was I?" "A wild boar." "You are wild boar!" "A wild boar, do you hear?" "A wild boar..." "Must be very useful for reading in bed." "Silence!" "I have to start again." "You are a wild boar, by Asopis and Osaris." "No, by Oris and by papa." "And by Opas and oh hell!" "Okay, right!" "Repeat after me:" "I am a wild boar." "I am a wild boar." " You are a wild boar." "You are a wild boar." " That's right!" "I am a wild boar." "A wild boar!" "I am..." "That made me hungry, going on about wild boar." "What's more, it's lunchtime." "Well that's good, because your next labour... will be to eat every morsel of a meal prepared for you by Mannekenpix." "The great chef of the Titans." "No mortal man has ever got through one of his enormous meals!" "But you will have to eat it all, down to the last crumb." "Bon appétit." "An interesting kind of labour at last, it's my turn now, right?" "No doubt about that." "You are expected." "Sit down and I'll be bringing the banquet!" " What's this?" " Ah, this I have invented myself!" "These are ruts that grow in the ground, I hope you'll like them." "The Geese!" "This is very good because they are fat!" "The nice mutton platter!" "Made for the hungry wolf!" "The titanic omelette!" "With eight dozen eggs!" "The whole school of fish!" "It teaches you what it is like to eat well!" "The ox!" "Look at him." "He will melt in your mouth!" "The cow!" "It might not be as tasty, but is much more delicate!" "The veal!" "Because to separate the family, that would not be right." "A mountain of caviar." "Careful, it weighs heavy on the stomach." "Here is a piece of toast to go with it." "The camel!" "You will like this, it has good stuffing." "And before we start on the next course, the elephant with olives!" " Did he eat everything?" " Everything!" "Everything!" "I have nothing left in my kitchen!" "Oh God, I will have to close my shop!" "Did anyone see which way the chef went?" "He walked out, just after the starters!" "What's all this folly?" "Long live Abraracourcix!" "Abraracourcix the emperor!" "What's up with you, my fellow, dressing in that awfully silly way?" "It's not silly!" "I've got to get ready to be ruler or Rome, haven't I?" "Ruler of Rome, well honestly." "Yes, when my lads have won all their labours we'll be setting off for Rome." "For Rome?" "Do you really think Rome will ever be Gaulish?" "I think you are counting your wild boar piglets before they are hatched." " You think so?" " Yes, why don't you all go home?" "!" "That's right, run along, leave us alone!" "You don't think they will win?" "Caesar is mighty, he has made a pact with the powers of darkness... only the gods know what dreadful dangers Astérix and Obelix may still have to face." "And now you must go inside the cave of the beast." "The cave of the beast?" "And what is this beast like?" "I have no idea, no one has ever come out alive." "Well, nice to have known you." " Coming, Obelix?" " Why not?" "The place looks quite interesting." " How many then?" " One... uh, two." "Watch out, get down!" "Hey Astérix..." "Yes I know, we shall have rain with the birds flying low." "Not really!" "We'll be nice and dry inside this cave." "Fifteen, love." "Excuse me please sir, are we right for the beast?" "Look, you might at least answer when I ask a question." " Beastly, aren't they?" " Yeah, right." "If they think they can frighten us, they are wrong... because everyone knows that we fear only one thing..." " and that is the sky falling on our heads." " Watch out." "What might that be?" "I have no idea, but I am really getting rather fed up." "We've been in this cave quite some time." " Come to think of it, what is the time?" " It's about twelve noon." " Are you hungry again already?" " Why shouldn't I be hungry?" "I'm always hungry at twelve noon, I could eat anything at all!" "You hear me?" "Absolutely anything." "Shut up!" "Listen!" "The Beast!" "I hope you will forgive my curiosity, but the beast, what was it like actually?" "Very tasty, waiter I'd like an appetizer." "An appetizer, one!" "Those people seem very odd by Toutatis!" "They've all been to the place that sends you mad." "The place that sends you mad?" "Yes, and you'll have to go in there as well, for your next labour." " What do we have to do in this place?" " Oh nothing much!" "You have to obtain a certain permit which will allow you to participate in the next labour." "I see nothing but a simple administrative formality." "Right, a formality, a simple formality." "You have to ask for permit number A38." "All right, Obelix!" " What is it?" " We want a copy of permit number A38." "If you want to register a galley, you have to ask at the harbour master's office." "No, we don't want to register a galley, we want a copy of permit number A38." "At the harbour, it's down at the other side of town, it's down by the seaside." "You can't miss it." "We don't want to go to the harbour, we want a copy of permit number A38." " Eh?" " Permit number A38!" "There's no need to shout." "Where do you think you are, by Jupiter!" "Apply at window number one, left hand corridor, last door on the right, got it?" " Last door on the right?" " Last door on the right?" " There is no door on the right!" " Oh he must have got it wrong." "Let's try the opposite door." "And who gave you permission to come into my office?" " We're looking for window number one." " Consult the map on the sixth floor." "And close the door." "Impertinent!" "Now where were we, Miss?" "These stairs are pretty steep." "Carry on." " "Iv"?" " Not "iv", four." "We want the sixth." " Ah, this is the plan." " Can't make it out at all." "Look, window number one is on the ground floor, last corridor on the right." " What is your business?" " We want a copy of permit number A38." "You have been misdirected, you have to apply at window number 2." " That window there?" " No that one is window 8." "I don't know where the second window is." " You'd better ask at the front desk." " But..." "Where is window number 2?" "!" "I've already told where the harbour is, at the sea!" " I don't want the harbour, I've told you!" " Now gentlemen calm down." "People are trying to work." "And what is the problem might I ask?" "I have no idea Mr. Prefect, they keep jabbering a lot of nonsense." "We are looking for window 2." "Window 2, where exactly did they put that one?" "Last time anyone saw it, Mr. Prefect... it was on the third floor, corridor B, door 6, Mr. Prefect!" "There you are, gentlemen." "There is nothing to be getting so worked up about." " We seem to be getting somewhere now." " Mmmm, I'm not all that confident." "So, she bought some material from a Phoenician trader for her cubiculum." " But how strange, how odd!" " She's the kind that always has to show off." " She can't even afford a slave!" " Miss..." "She says she preferred to do her housework herself!" " I know her husband's financial situation." " Excuse me..." " Can't you see I'm busy?" "Where was I?" " The financial situation." "Oh, yes, poor Claudius, you know he worked up a nice little business building viaducts." "The market for future viaducts..." "Excuse me Miss!" "By Jupiter, would you mind?" "What do you want?" " Permit number A38!" " Have you filled in the blue form?" " The blue form?" "No!" " How do you think to get permit A38 then?" " Where can I get hold of a blue form?" " Window one." " I've been there!" " That's right, that viaduct..." " at the first gust of wind, crashed!" " Did it collapse?" "Nothing left but some ruins." "Still they look picturesque in the country." "She's at lunch, but you could apply at window 35, ask downstairs." "Can't you find the harbour?" "Fill in this form then you'll be able to get the pink form." " What pink form?" " The one you need in order to get... permit A38." "Window 12, second floor, staircase B, corridor J." "You need the yellow form, window 7 on fifth floor, staircase K, corridor W." "The green form, window 14 on the first floor, staircase F, corridor T." "Get the blue form, window 36, sixth floor, staircase B corridor F." "Get the yellow form, window corridor staircase five..." "Stop it!" "Calm down Obelix, calm down!" "Come on, calm down." "We will never get out of here, Astérix." "The magic potion won't be of any help to us." "We will go mad and we'll be Julius Caesar's slaves." "Not if I can help it." "It's true the magic potion won't help us, but I know what will." "I can fight them with their own weapons, you watch this." "Is this where I get permit A39?" " Don't you mean permit A38?" "For A38 you..." " No, no, what I need is permit A39." "It is stipulated by the new circular B65." "In the new circular B65?" "Wait here." "Say, ever heard of circular B65?" " Circular B65?" " The one about permit A39." "Not at all, we shall have to find out from the head of filing systems of materials..." " to get coordinated." " It's on the fifth floor, staircase Z, I think." "No, of course not." "The office has moved to the second floor staircase H corridor N, shall we go?" "Yes come on." "Circular B65, about permit A39?" "No, the messenger of the new circular or provisional material must have... forgotten to let us know." "They are on ground floor, staircase 2, corridor U." "What, a new circular?" "Go to the supervisor of planning and new material." " Where is he?" " Let's go and ask down at the desk." "Continue on your own, Miss." " Calm down, quiet, quiet!" " Please sir..." "I'm very busy just now." "What are you after?" "Permit number A38!" "All right, and kindly leave." "Some people here are trying to work here!" "Ave Caesar, morituri te salutant." "Yes Caesar, they have performed them all, even that last labour." "Hercules himself would have failed that." "Well, I must admit they are remarkable but they haven't yet got to Rome." "I have some special treats in stall for them, there is no need to worry." "By Mercury, we shan't be seeing a little Gaulish village becoming the capital... of the Roman world!" "We can proceed with the rehearsal now." "Well, Caesar, I guess the rehearsal is just about over." "Let's see what's next on the list." "Ah, yes." "You'll have to cross this canyon." "Walk across that invisible thread that you do not see there." "Walk along an invisible thread?" "Why don't we cross down below?" "It's just a small river and the water looks calm." "Yes but in fact that little river is full of crocodiles." "Lots of sacred crocodiles." "They were a present given to Caesar... by the Egyptian head of state, Queen Cleopatra." "They are very savage creatures and very voracious." "Yes I don't like crocodiles, I tried them once." "They were stringy." "Come on Astérix!" "Oh all right, I suppose we should have to go down." "Are you coming?" "You start." "I'll follow." "Here we go!" "Your next labour is to make the ascent of this mountain." "A the top you must look for the old man of the mountain." "And what do we have to do with this old man of the mountain?" "The old man of the mountain will ask a difficult riddle." "You will have to answer it correctly." "If you get it wrong the results will be quite fatal." "I mean as far as you are concerned of course." "Why can't this old man come down here to ask his riddle?" "Come on, don't be lazy!" "Here we go!" "There must be a marvellous view from up here." "Here I've run out of mountain here." "That's because you've got to the top." "The old man can't be far away." "Would you be the old man of the mountain, old man?" "Yes, I am the old man of the mountain." "Have you miserable mortals come to ask for the riddle?" "Well I'm glad we haven't been climbing the wrong mountain." "Ask your riddle quickly, old man of the mountain." "It's not very warm up here, by Toutatis." "One moment!" "Do you know, foolish men... that if you fail to give me the right answer... you will be banished into the infernal depths of the underworld?" "After climbing all this way, not likely, I've got better things to do." "Come on, the riddle." "So be it, poor you." "Follow me." "Ow my back!" "You ought to take a trip to the seaside, it'll do you good." "Oh, you presumptuous mortals." "One of you, eyes blindfolded by me... but there is still time to go back." "Oh go on, ask your riddle." "One of you will have to tell me... which of these two piles of laundry... has been washed with Olympus, the detergent of the gods." "This one, it's silkier, more supple." "Yes, you've got it right!" "Sure enough, this pile is much softer, much gentler, much whiter." "The gods do their washing with Olympus, which washes whiter... and leaves your hands much softer." "Holy gods, did you hear that?" "This mortal has given the right answer." "Holy gods, did you hear that?" "All right, we can all hear you." "Not bad, those little two." "You must admit Olympus really does wash whiter and leaves your hands soft." " Okay, we get the idea!" " You military men." " Silence, by me!" " But listen, oh Jupiter." "Do these Gauls, who are doing so well, get a place up here too?" "We're rather short of space as it is." "Quiet!" "We won't let this place spill over." "And to be honest I'm getting fed up with them!" "Rome's over there, at the horizon." "But before you're allowed inside you have to spend the night on this field." "Spend the night on this field?" "Ah good idea!" "I feel a bit tired after those labours." "I need a sleep." "Yes, but I must warn you that all those who have dared to spend the night here before... have died of fear." "It is called the plane of departed spirits." "Well good night!" "If that's the right expression." "What do you suppose happens on this field?" "I don't know and I don't care." "We must be fit and well tomorrow to enter Rome and tackle our last labour." "So let's go to sleep now." "There's no need to go further, we'll be all right here." " Are..." "Are you sure?" " Good night, Obelix." "Good night Astérix." "Fall in!" "Nice, some Romans!" "All those Romans just for me!" "Forward march!" "Shh, don't make so much noise." "You'll wake up Mr. Astérix." "Form a triangle!" "A heart!" "A diamond!" "A spade!" "A cubs" "Away!" "Don't tire yourself, poor mortal." "We are departed spirits, ghosts!" "Trapped on this cursed battlefield where we were massacred by the foolishness of man." "And now at this witching hour... we take revenge by making all those who dare to spend the night here die of fear." "What's this?" "Are you done?" "What's all this noise about?" "Please, Astérix, don't be angry." "They're only trying to keep their spirits up... because they got masqueraded by some witches and mad men." "No, no, no, no." "You've gone and got it all wrong." "I'll explain it." "Actually, we are departed spirits..." "I couldn't care less who you are." "Do you know what time it is?" " Yes, no, but please listen." " No you can listen to me!" "We've run a big race, we've been throwing the javelin, we've been wrestling... we've been how to face the princesses, magicians, cooks... big beasts, crocodiles, but we haven't slept yet!" "So, you can keep your spirits up." "but be kind and don't keep us up." " I'm sorry, you must excuse him." " Obelix, come here." "Oh, please do listen, we're ghosts!" "Quiet!" "Get up, you are expected." "But where are we?" "You're in Rome, outside Julius Caesar's palace." "Julius Caesar is expecting you." "There is something funny going on here." "The Romans have learnt to build very fast." "What does it matter?" "Come on then soldier, take us to your leader." " Well here you are in Rome at last." " Yes, here we are, Julius." "Caius Pupus has told me all about your journey." "Yes, oh Caesar." "They have managed to perform all labours, overcome all problems and succeeded every time." "The favour of the gods has kept you alive." "But this is where your luck runs out." "It is impossible for you to become masters of Rome!" "The circus will be your last labour, where you will be massacred with all the other inhabitants of your village." "Here we are, everyone." "Ah so this is Rome." "Frankly I'm disappointed." "I think the time has come to play you a little music." "Agecanonix!" "Ave Caesar, the Gauls request an audience." "It's the lads!" " Here they are." " Look!" "They've all come." "Idéfix!" "Gauls!" "Quiet!" "Do you know where you are?" "Silence!" "Silence, I say!" "Silence!" "You are all to be slaughtered for the amusement of my people!" "And then nothing at all, nothing will cast a shadow on my triumph." "Guards!" "Well then, well then, which one is it?" "That one's for the gladiators." "That one's for the myrmidons." "That one's for Fulvia." "I wonder what's that's doing in there." " This one for the lions." " I'll be happy to lend you a hand." "You're never satisfied." "They have 25 catapults at the walls there." "They all throw rocks all the time." "That's how they build these big..." " Caesar's just arrived!" " What a great big crowd!" "Roll up everyone, it's ready!" "It's the magic potion but I can't have any." "Will the owner of the cart parked in front of the Thermae quickly remove your vehicle, it is obstructing the entrance of the circus." " I hope everything is ready." " Yes, Caesar." "Just to start, these unhappy Gauls will have to face the fiercest of our Gladiators." "And if there are any survivors... we will have to let out the wild beasts." "We have lions, tigers, panthers, bears and elephants." "The audience will love this programme!" "All right, you can bring out the gladiators." "Ave Caesar..." "I think we should all get ready, it will soon be our turn." "Good I'm going in first and you all follow me and keep in line please." "We've got lots of people watching us, so lets show some dignity." " And why should you go first?" " I'm your chief, that's why!" "But we've been doing all the work, haven't we Astérix?" " So it's our turn to have some fun now." " Some people get all the luck." " Who asked you?" " You, stupid!" " Who said stupid?" " Everyone stand back!" " Stand back, do you see my fist?" " And my foot?" "See my foot here?" " We've been working hard and mad." " You're mad yourself, fatty!" "Oh Astérix, he called me fatty!" "You can let the Gauls out now." " Leave them to me!" "Leave them to me!" " No we won't!" "No we won't!" " I'll smack your face!" " You just try it!" " I will!" " Go on, you just try!" "Oh run away!" "Let me have one!" "Let me have one!" "Oh hello!" "Hello!" " I've won one!" " You won what?" "Up here!" "Up here!" "Pass him!" "Pass him to me!" "Ow, I've injured myself!" "Ow, I've injured myself!" "Jolly good, jolly good." "I'm that good!" "I'm that good!" "Oh yes?" "Take this!" "Pass it on!" "Who threw that pie at me?" "Who threw that pie?" "Come on!" "Who did it?" "Wild beasts, bring on the wild beasts!" "They are making the children laugh!" "The children are happy!" "They ruined the circus!" "Stop that!" "Stop!" "Gauls!" "You performed all labours I set you." "You've succeeded in every one of the difficult labours which I made up for you... so you must be gods." "It's no good trying to fight against gods." "You are our new masters!" "I leave my fate and that of Rome entirely in your hands." "With great magnanimity the Gauls allowed Julius Caesar to retire to a... little country villa to live there in peace and quiet far from the... responsibility of the past." "Julius your dinner is ready!" "What a really wonderful cook you are, Cleopatra dear!" "As for our friend Caius Pupus, he was allowed to choose his reward... for his good and faithful service." "And at last, back in Gaul, in the little village... which is now the centre of the known world... our friends reunited celebrated their return with a banquet under the stars." "Have we really become the masters of Rome?" "Lets face it, this is only a cartoon film, and anything goes!" "Anything goes!"