"(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)" "(MUNCHING)" "Ah." "It was a fine meal." "Yes, it was, wasn't it?" "Yes, what should we do now?" "Let's have lunch." "Oh, good idea." "Quiet down, you villains." "PUMPKIN:" "I'm being stolen." "Help me, help me!" "Put me down!" "(CHILDREN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)" "Hello." "(DOG BARKING)" "What about my nose?" "(YELPS)" "Banana peels coming down!" "(CACKLING)" "Come along, ladies." "Here's a nice Christmas turkey." "Turkey." "Get your Christmas turkey." "Hey, get back in the box, Martin!" "Get your boomerang fish." "Guaranteed fresh." "Throw the fish away and it comes back to me." "(LAUGHING) Get 'em while they're fresh." "Christmas apples." "We got McIntosh." "Christmas apples." "Red Delicious." "Tuppence apiece, while they last." "We..." "They won't last long the way you're eating them." "I'm creating scarcity." "Drives the prices up." "(SIGHS) Rizzo..." "(RIZZO CLEARS THROAT)" "Hello." "Welcome to The Muppet Christmas Carol." "I am here to tell the story." "And I am here for the food." "My name is Charles Dickens." "And my name is Rizzo the Rat." "Wait a second, you're not Charles Dickens." "I am, too." "A blue furry Charles Dickens who hangs out with a rat?" "Absolutely." "Charles Dickens was a 1 9th-century novelist." "A genius." "Oh, you are too kind." "Why should I believe you?" "Because I know the story of A Christmas Carol like the back of my hand." "Prove it." "All right." "There's a little mole on my thumb." "And a scar on my wrist from when I fell off my bicycle..." "No, don't tell us your hand, tell us the story." "Oh, oh, thank you." "Yes." "(CLEARS THROAT)" "The Marleys were dead, to begin with." "The..." "Pardon me?" "That's how the story begins, "The Marleys were dead, to begin with."" "As dead as a doornail." "It's a good beginning." "It's creepy and kind of spooky." "Oh, thank you, Rizzo." "You're welcome, Mr. Dickens." "In life, the Marleys had been business partners with a shrewd moneylender named Ebenezer Scrooge." "You will meet him as he comes around that corner." "Where?" "There." "When?" "Now." "DICKENS:" "There he is, Mr. Ebenezer Scrooge." "Say, is it getting cold around here?" "(SHUDDERS)" "(SINGING) When a cold wind blows, it chills you" "Chills you to the bone" "But there's nothing in nature that freezes your heart" "Like years of being alone" "It paints you with indifference like a lady paints with rouge" "And the worst of the worst" "The most hated and cursed" "Is the one that we call Scrooge" "Unkind as any" "And the wrath of many" "This is Ebenezer Scrooge" "There goes Mr. Humbug There goes Mr. Grim" "If they gave a prize for being mean the winner would be him" "Old Scrooge, he loves his money 'cause he thinks it gives him power" "If he became a flavor you can bet he would be sour" "Even the vegetables don't like him." "There goes Mr. Skinflint There goes Mr. Greed" "The undisputed master of the underhanded deed" "He charges folks a fortune for his dark and drafty houses" "Us poor folk live in misery" "It's even worse for mouses" "Please, sir, I want some cheese." "He must be so lonely" "He must be so sad" "He goes to extremes to convince us he's bad" "He's really a victim of fear and of pride" "Look close and there must be a sweet man inside" "ALL:" "Nah." "Uh-uh." "There goes Mr. Outrage There goes Mr. Sneer" "He has no time for friends or fun" "His anger makes that clear" "Don't ask him for a favor 'cause his nastiness increases" "No crust of bread for those in need" "No cheeses for us "meeces"" "Scrooge liked the cold." "He was hard and sharp as a flint." "Secret and self-contained." "As solitary as an oyster." "There goes Mr. Heartless There goes Mr. Cruel" "He never gives He only takes" "He lets his hunger rule" "If being mean's a way of life you practice and rehearse" "Then all that work is paying off" "'Cause Scrooge is getting worse" "Every day, in every way Scrooge is getting worse" "Oh, boy." "How the time flies." "Look at this, I've got to move... (HORSE NEIGHING)" "Humbug." "Whew!" "What an unpleasant fellow." "Mmm." "He was a tightfisted hand at the grindstone..." "Boy, this really is a dirty city." "Ha." "You tellin' me." "Huh?" "(EXCLAIMS)" "(THUD) -(SQUEAKING)" "Thank you for making me a part of this." "(GROANS)" "He was a tightfisted hand at the grindstone, Scrooge." "A squeezing, wrenching, grasping, clutching covetous old sinner." "(GULPS)" "Bob Cratchit?" "Yes, Mr. Scrooge?" "Who is this?" "Mr. Applegate, sir." "He's here to speak to you about his mortgage." "Mr. Scrooge, I know you're very angry about this, and I didn't mean to fall behind in the payment." "Lord knows, it being Christmas and all." "Oh, please don't shout at me, sir." "That and, of course, little Gwen." "Her lungs aren't right." "The doctor takes his share, don't he?" "You can yell and scream, and you're right, but it won't do no good..." "Because I'm the stone you can't squeeze blood from." "And that's the truth!" "(THUD)" "APPLEGATE:" "Thank you for not shouting at me." "(DOOR SLAMS)" "(WORKERS MUTTERING)" "Let us deal with the eviction notices for tomorrow, Mr. Cratchit." "Tomorrow's Christmas, sir." "Very well, you may gift wrap them." "WORKER:" "Let us help you with that, Mr. Cratchit." "My, there are certainly a lot today." "We'll get it." "I'm okay, okay." "Here you go." "Look out on that end... (CLAMORING)" "Uh..." "WORKERS:" "Whoa!" "(CRASHING)" "Christmas is a very busy time for us, Mr. Cratchit." "People preparing feasts, giving parties." "Spending the mortgage money on frivolities." "One might say that December is the foreclosure season." "Harvest time for the moneylenders." "Boss, ask him." "Tell him." "Come on." "Come on." "Do it now." "Do it." "If you please, Mr. Scrooge, it's gotten colder." "The bookkeeping staff would like to have an extra shovel of coal for the fire." "We can't do the bookkeeping." "Our pens are like ink-cicles." "Our assets are frozen." "(WORKERS SHIVERING)" "How would the bookkeepers like to be suddenly unemployed?" "ALL:" "Heat wave!" "ALL: (SINGING) This is my island in the sun!" "I believe you've convinced them once again, Mr. Scrooge." "(CHUCKLES)" "At that moment, who should arrive at the door but Scrooge's nephew, Fred." "His only living relative." "Nephew Fred?" "I don't see him." "Trust me." "Hmm." "(KNOCKING ON DOOR)" "Hello?" "Uncle?" "(DOOR OPENS)" "Rizzo?" "You're very good at that, Mr. Dickens." "A merry Christmas, Uncle Scrooge." "God save you." "Merry Christmas." "Bah, humbug!" "Quick, it'll be warmer in there." "Christmas a humbug, Uncle?" "You don't mean that, surely." "Actually, I think it's colder in here." "Hmm." "Merry Christmas, you say?" "What right have you to be merry?" "You're poor enough." "And you to be dismal?" "You're rich enough." "He's got him." "The old boy's speechless." "If I could work my will, every idiot who goes about with "Merry Christmas" on his lips would be cooked with his own turkey and buried with a stake of holly through his heart." "Well, not quite speechless." "Uncle..." "Nephew." "You keep Christmas in your own way, and let me keep it in mine." "Christmas is a loving, honest and charitable time." "And though it's never put a scrap of gold or silver in my pocket," "I believe Christmas has done me good and will do me good, and I say, God bless it." "(WORKERS CHEER)" "And how does one celebrate Christmas on the unemployment line?" "Now, in these times, it was customary on Christmas Eve for well-meaning gentlemen to call upon businesses, collecting donations for the poor and homeless." "Mr. Scrooge, I presume?" "(HIGH-PITCHED SQUEAK)" "Who are you?" "We're from the Order of Victoria Charity Foundation." "We'd like to speak to you about a donation." "Ah!" "Welcome!" "This jolly old gentleman here is Mr. Scrooge." "He's very generous to charities." "My dear nephew!" "At this festive season of the year, Mr. Scrooge, many of us feel we must take care of our poor and homeless." "Are there no prisons?" "No poorhouses?" "Oh, plenty of those, sir." "Oh!" "Excellent." "For a moment, I was worried." "Some of us are endeavoring to raise a fund for the poor and homeless." "What might I put you down for?" "Nothing." "You wish to remain anonymous?" "I wish to be left alone." "I do not make merry myself for Christmas." "That certainly is true." "I cannot afford to make idle people merry." "That is certainly not true." "Don't you have other things to do this afternoon?" "Sadly, I do, Uncle." "So I shall make my donation." "Ooh!" "And leave you to make yours." "Thank you so very much." "Oh." "Uncle, come and have Christmas dinner with me and Clara tomorrow." "Why ever did you get married?" "Why?" "Because I fell in love." "(LAUGHS)" "That's the only thing in the world sillier than a merry Christmas." "It's no use, I shall keep my Christmas humor to the last." "A merry Christmas to you." "And a happy New Year." "Merry Christmas, Fred." "Merry Christmas, Bob." "Humbug!" "(CLEARS THROAT)" "(CLOCK TICKING)" "(CLEARING THROAT)" "Now, then, sir, about the..." "Donation." "Well, now." "Let's see." "I know how to treat the poor." "My taxes go to pay for the prisons and the poorhouses." "The homeless must go there." "But some would rather die." "If they'd rather die, then they'd better do it, and decrease the surplus population." "(SQUEAKS)" "Oh, dear." "Oh, dear." "This is the door, you may use it." "All right, Beaker, come along." "I think we've taken enough of Mr. Scrooge's time." "(BEAKER SQUEAKS)" "Oh, dear." "Dear, dear." "(DOOR SLAMS) -(WORKERS MUTTERING)" "(SINGING) Good King Wencelas looked out on the feast of Stephen" "When the snow lay round about deep and crisp and even" "Brightly shown the moon that night" "Though the... (CLEARS THROAT)" "What do you want?" "Penny for the song, guvnor?" "(GASPS)" "(GROANS)" "(WORKERS MUTTERING)" "(CLEARS THROAT)" "Excuse me, Mr. Scrooge, but it appears to be closing time." "Very well." "I'll see you at 8:00 tomorrow morning." "WORKERS:" "Ask him, ask him." "Tomorrow's Christmas." "8:30, then." "(WORKERS SIGH)" "If you please, sir, half an hour off hardly seems customary for Christmas Day." "WORKER:" "No." "Hardly customary." "How much time off is customary, Mr. Cratchit?" "Why, the whole day." "Yeah, that's right." "The whole day." "The entire day?" "No." "That's the frog's idea." "If you please, why open the office tomorrow?" "Other businesses will be closed." "You'll have no one to do business with." "It'll waste a lot of expensive coal for the fire." "That's definitely a point." "That's a point." "It's a poor excuse for picking a man's pocket every December the 25th." "(ALL GROAN)" "But as I seem to be the only person around who knows that, take the day off." "(ALL CHEER)" "Will you stop that?" "(WORKERS YELP)" "Thank you, Mr. Scrooge." "Be here all the earlier the next morning." "WORKER:" "Okay." "You bet." "First thing." "With their employer gone at last," "Bob Cratchit and the bookkeepers immediately began that most pleasant of activities, the celebration of Christmas." "He's gone!" "(WORKERS CHEER)" "Gentlemen, let's close up for Christmas." "(SINGING) There's magic in the air this evening" "Magic in the air" "The world is at her best, you know when people love and care" "The promise of excitement is one the night will keep" "After all, there's only one more sleep till Christmas" "(SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)" "(EXCLAIMING)" "(SCREAMS) -(GROANS)" "The world has got a smile today" "The world has got a glow" "There's no such thing as strangers when a stranger says hello" "And everyone is family" "We're having so much fun" "After all, there's only one more sleep till Christmas" "(GRUNTING)" "Okay, ready." "Here we go." "(ALL CHEERING)" "Ta-da!" "(SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)" "(CHEERING)" "That's it." "(ALL CHEERING)" "Mmm-hmm." "Very good, gentlemen." "'Tis the season to be jolly and joyous" "With a burst of pleasure we feel it arrive" "It's a season when the saints can employ us" "To spread the news about peace and to keep love alive" "What's that?" "Look, it's the penguins' Christmas skating party." "(QUACKING)" "Ah!" "Mmm." "Ah!" "Look at that!" "You did good, boss." "Oh, thank you." "Thank you very much." "(SCREAMS)" "(ALL LAUGHING)" "Wow!" "No way." "Come on, Rizzo." "(EXCLAIMING)" "Oh, boy." "Fun, huh?" "Merry Christmas, penguins." "(ALL QUACK)" "(SINGING) There's something in the wind today that's good for everyone" "Yes, faith is in our hearts today" "We're shining like the sun" "And everyone can feel it" "The feeling's running deep" "After all, there's only one more sleep till Christmas" "After all, there's only one more sleep" "Till Christmas Day" "Merry Christmas!" "Mmm." "(SHIVERING)" "(DOG BARKING)" "DICKENS:" "Scrooge lived in chambers which had once belonged to his old business partners, Jacob and Robert Marley." "Have some bread?" "Not while I'm working." "Suit yourself." "Whoa." "Whoa." "The building was a dismal heap of brick on a dark street." "Once again, you must remember that the Marleys were dead and decaying in their graves." "Yuk!" "(WHISPERS) That one thing you must remember, or nothing that follows will seem wondrous." "Why are you whispering?" "It's for dramatic emphasis." "Oh." "Jacob Marley?" "(BOOMING GROAN)" "(SCREAMING)" "You okay?" "Humbug." "(UNLOCKING DOOR)" "Oh, Gonzo, speak to me." "I mean, Mr. Dickens." "Charlie!" "Are you hurt?" "To say that Scrooge was not startled would be untrue." "Still, the moment had passed, and the world was as it should be." "He ain't hurt." "Didn't even break his concentration." "Hmm?" "Ah." "Nothing." "Come on, Rizzo." "We'll follow him in." "In a minute." "I had a bag ofjelly beans over here." "Will you just get over here?" "All right." "Sheesh!" "(DICKENS GROANS)" "Oh-oh." "Steady, steady." "(STRANGULATED) Scrooge made his way up the stairs, caring not a button for the darkness." "Darkness was cheap, and Scrooge liked it." "But the incident at the door had made Scrooge wary." "Before he shut himself in for the night, he searched his rooms." "RIZZO:" "Okay, that does it." "DICKENS:" "Pardon?" "How do you know what Scrooge is doing?" "We're down here and he's up there." "I keep telling you, storytellers are omniscient." "I know everything." "Hoity-toity, Mr. Godlike Smarty-Pants." "To conduct a proper search, Scrooge was forced to light the lamps." "How does he do that?" "Oh!" "Oh." "It's my best dressing gown." "No harm done." "(BELL RINGS)" "(CLOCK TICKING)" "(CREAKING)" "(RINGING)" "(SCROOGE BREATHES HEAVILY)" "(FAINT CLINKING)" "(LAUGHING)" "Look, it's Ebenezer Scrooge." "Oh." "Looking older and more wicked than ever." "I knew he wouldn't disappoint us." "(BOTH LAUGHING)" "Who are you?" "In life, we were your partners..." "Jacob..." "And Robert Marley." "It looks like you." "But I don't believe it." "Why do you doubt your senses?" "Because a little thing can affect them." "A slight disorder of the stomach can make them cheat." "You may be a bit of undigested beef." "A blob of mustard." "A crumb of cheese." "Yes, there's more of gravy than of grave about you." "(LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY)" "More of gravy than of grave?" "What a terrible pun." "Where do you get those jokes?" "Leave comedy to the bears, Ebenezer." "Please, Jacob, Robert, don't criticize me." "You always criticized me." "We were always heckling you." "It's good to be heckling again." "It's good to be doing anything again." "(BOTH LAUGHING)" "Why do you come to me?" "(SINGING) We're Marley and Marley Avarice and greed" "We took advantage of the poor Just ignored the needy" "We specialized in causing pain spreading fear and doubt" "And if you could not pay the rent we simply threw you out" "There was the year we evicted the entire orphanage." "I remember the little tykes all standing in the snow bank." "With their little frostbitten teddy bears." "(LAUGHING)" "(SHUDDERING)" "We're Marley and Marley Our hearts were painted black" "We should have known our evil deeds would put us both in shackles" "Captive, bound, we're double-ironed exhausted by the weight" "As freedom comes from giving love" "So prison comes with hate" "We're Marley and Marley" "(WAILING SPOOKILY)" "We're Marley and Marley" "But my friends, you were not unfeeling towards your fellow men." "True, there was something about mankind we loved." "I think it was their money." "(MARLEY BROTHERS LAUGH)" "Doomed, Scrooge You're doomed for all time" "Your future is a horror story written by your crime" "Your chains are forged by what you say and do" "So have your fun When life is done a nightmare waits for you" "Why these terrible chains?" "(BOTH WAIL)" "The chains." "We forged these chains in life by our acts of greed." "You wear such a chain yourself." "Humbug." "Speak comfort to me, friends." "Comfort!" "(BOTH WAIL)" "You will be haunted by three spirits." "Haunted?" "I've already had enough of that." "Without these visits, you cannot hope to avoid the path we tread." "Expect the first ghost tonight, when the bell tolls one." "Can't I meet them all at once and get it over with?" "When the bell tolls one!" "We're Marley and Marley" "(WAILING)" "We're Marley and Marley" "(WAILING)" "We're Marley and Marley" "(GHOSTS WAILING)" "MARLEYS:" "Change!" "(CLOCK TICKING)" "DICKENS:" "And with that, the spirits of Scrooge's partners vanished into the darkness, leaving him once again alone in his room." "Whoa, that's scary stuff." "Should we be worried about the kids in the audience?" "No, it's all right." "This is culture." "Oh." "Jelly bean?" "I had them in my pocket all along." "(GROANS)" "What?" "(KISSES)" "Humbug." "Come on." "But I really hate this." "You wanted to know what was happening." "Scrooge's bedchamber is on this side of the house." "Jump." "There's only two things in this life I hate." "Heights, and jumping from them." "Too late now." "Come on, I'll catch you." "(WHIMPERS)" "God save my little broken body." "(SCREAMS)" "Missed." "(GROWLS)" "Wait a second." "I forgot my jelly beans." "(GRUNTING)" "What?" "You can fit through those bars?" "Yeah." "You are such an idiot." "What, what?" "Hey, what?" "What?" "RIZZO: (WHISPERS) What?" "(SCROOGE BREATHES HEAVILY)" "(TICKING)" "RIZZO:" "Oh, dear." "DICKENS:" "Scrooge slipped into the empty silence of a dreamless sleep." "You know, a guy could break his tail falling out of this tree." "Want to see what's going on, don't you?" "Yes." "There's Scrooge's window." "Oh, yeah." "(GRUNTING)" "(CLOCK TICKING)" "(CLOCK WHIRS)" "(CLOCK CHIMES)" "(DINGS)" "Expect the first ghost when the bell tolls one!" "(GASPS)" "Whoa!" "(GRUNTING) Ouch!" "Are you the spirit whose coming was foretold to me?" "I am." "But you're just a child." "I can remember nearly 1 ,900 years." "I am the Ghost of Christmas Past." "What business has brought you here?" "Your welfare." "(SCOFFS)" "A night's unbroken rest might aid my welfare." "Your salvation, then." "Take heed." "Come." "I beg you, spirit, I am mortal." "I'm liable to fall." "A touch of my hand, and you shall fly." "(LAUGHING)" "What are we doing?" "Nothing." "What?" "Just hold on." "(RIZZO SCREAMS)" "Watch out, Rizzo." "What?" "DICKENS: (LAUGHING) Whee!" "Hello, London!" "RIZZO:" "Goodbye, lunch!" "DICKENS:" "Yah!" "(PANTING) Spirit?" "Yes?" "Nothing." "Look, Rizzo." "I don't want to look." "Spirit?" "What is that light?" "It cannot be dawn." "SPIRIT:" "It is the past." "(RIZZO SCREAMING) -(EXCLAIMING)" "DICKENS:" "Look, it's beautiful, Rizzo." "RIZZO:" "Mommy!" "Hey, we're going down." "Whoa!" "Hang on, Rizzo." "(WOMAN SCREAMS)" "DICKENS:" "Sorry, madam." "(MAN GRUNTS)" "RIZZO:" "Pardon me, sir." "DICKENS:" "Look out, Rizzo." "Rizzo, this is Louise." "Yeah, we've met." "(LAUGHING)" "And so they arrived in Ebenezer Scrooge's childhood." "That was the worst trip of my life." "It's over now." "Yeah, safe at last." "(MEOWS)" "No." "No." "No!" "Oh, no!" "Nice kitty, nice kitty." "I'm from New Jersey." "(CAT MEOWING) -(KIDS SHOUTING)" "It was the afternoon of Christmas Eve, and Scrooge was conscious of a thousand odors." "Each one connected with a thousand thoughts, hopes, joys and cares long, long forgotten." "It's my old school." "I was a boy here." "That's Henry." "And Edmund, my best friend." "Hello, boys." "Hello." "These are but shadows of your past, Ebenezer." "They can neither see nor hear you." "Come, let us go inside." "Rizzo, stop playing with the cat." "Save me, save me!" "(CAT MEOWS VICIOUSLY)" "(GROANS)" "And what a flood of memories came back to him, as Scrooge beheld his old classroom." "I know it all so well, spirit." "The desks." "The smell of the chalk." "I chose my profession in this room." "And is he, too, familiar?" "DICKENS:" "Scrooge beheld a small boy, a boy he knew, very well indeed." "Good heavens." "It's me." "Come Ebenezer, the last coach is leaving." "Come on, he never goes home for Christmas." "Who cares about stupid old Christmas?" "I was often alone." "More time for reading and study." "The Christmas holiday was a chance to get some extra work done." "A time for solitude." "Rats don't understand these things." "You were never a lonely child?" "I had 1 ,274 brothers and sisters." "Sheesh!" "Rats don't understand these things." "Let us see another Christmas in this place." "They were all very much the same." "Nothing ever changed." "You changed." "DICKENS:" "The years performed their terrible dance." "And in a moment, Scrooge had seen his entire childhood pass." "He saw his old schoolroom age and decay." "What the..." "Hey!" "So, Master Scrooge, graduation day!" "That's my old headmaster." "This man taught me my greatest lesson." "Stand up." "Build your life as this school was built." "Push!" "(STRAINING) My ear, my ear, my ear." "Ah, yes, work hard, work long, and be constructive." "Oh, Ebenezer, life is a golden opportunity." "Today you go forth into the real world." "You must keep your nose to the grindstone." "Work hard, lad." "And one day, your life will be as solid as this very building." "(EXCLAIMING)" "Hmm." "I've been meaning to fix that shelf." "Yes, headmaster." "Young man, you have been apprenticed to a fine company in London." "Today, you become a man of business." "I'm looking forward to it, headmaster." "You will love business." "It is the American way." "Sam?" "Mmm?" "(WHISPERS)" "Oh!" "It is the British way." "Good." "Yes, headmaster." "Mmm." "Mmm?" "HEADMASTER:" "Oh, here is your coach, Ebenezer." "Come, Scrooge, there is much to see." "Remember, don't tip the driver." "A moment later, Scrooge found himself standing on a city street, looking at a building he had not seen in years." "Tell me, Ebenezer Scrooge, do you know this place?" "Know it?" "My first job was here." "This is Fozziwig's old rubber chicken factory." "Once again, it was Christmas Eve, night was falling, and the lamplighters were plying their trade." "Hey, light the lamp, not the rat." "Light the lamp, not the rat!" "Oops!" "My apologies." "What are you doing?" "Put me out, put me out!" "Rizzo!" "What?" "(SCREAMING)" "(GURGLING)" "(SHIVERS) Thank you." "You're welcome." "There he is, old Fozziwig himself." "Look my lads, dusk has fallen, and the lamplighters are at work." "It's Christmas Eve for certain." "What an employer he was." "As hard and as ruthless as a rose petal." "(LAUGHS)" "It's time for the party to begin." "It's the Fozziwig Christmas party." "Rizzo, come on." "Rizzo, just grab hold of the stick." "Merry Christmas." "Thank you, thank you." "Excuse me, everyone." "Can we have some quiet, please?" "(CLUCKING)" "Whoa!" "Ah!" "(YELLING)" "I suppose I should be grateful for that." "You're welcome." "Everyone, please, can I have your attention for a moment?" "(LAUGHING)" "Look, it's the Marley brothers." "My old partners, as they were as lads." "Can I have your attention, please?" "(CONVERSATIONS CONTINUES)" "Quiet!" "(SILENCE)" "Thank you." "That's better. (CLEARS THROAT)" "Welcome to Fozziwig and Mom's annual Christmas party." "At this time in the proceedings, it is a tradition for me to make a little speech." "And it's a tradition for us to take a little nap." "(ALL LAUGHING)" "Pay no attention to them." "My speech, here is my Christmas speech." ""Thank you all and merry Christmas."" "That was the speech?" "That was dumb." "It was obvious." "It was pointless." "It was short." "BOTH:" "I loved it!" "(LAUGHS)" "I'm bored with speeches." "Let's dance, son!" "Here's Mrs. Fozziwig to start the party." "Way to go, Ma!" "Hit it, boys!" "(GRUNTS)" "Whoa." "Hello." "Look, there's a buffet over here." "I'm kind of hungry." "(SINGS NONSENSICALLY)" "(SINGING) Fa la la la la la la la la" "Forget it." "Mother always taught me, never eat singing food." "FOZZIWIG:" "A pleasure having you here." "I'm very pleased, and please enjoy yourself." "Excuse me, Mr. Fozziwig?" "Sir, I've been going over the accounts." "Do you know how much the firm is spending for this party?" "Master Scrooge, this is Christmas." "It's a time for generosity." "Stop working, enjoy yourself." "Go meet some people, go ahead." "Hello." "(GRUNTING)" "(POUNDING)" "(GROWLING) -(RAPID POUNDING)" "(BAND STRIKES UP)" "You dancing fool!" "(BOTH LAUGHING)" "I love these annual Christmas parties." "I love them so much, I think we'll do it twice a year." "Excuse me." "FOZZIWIG:" "Master Scrooge." "Excuse me." "Belle, I'd like to introduce you to Ebenezer Scrooge, the finest young financial mind in the city." "Ebenezer, this is Belle, a friend of the Fozziwig family." "I'm pleased to meet you." "Well, I'm glad you two finally met." "SPIRIT:" "Do you remember this meeting?" "Remember?" "Yes." "I remember." "There was, of course, another Christmas Eve with this young woman, some years later." "Please, do not show me that Christmas." "(BIRDS CHIRPING)" "Another year before our wedding, Ebenezer." "It can't be helped, Belle." "How could we marry now?" "There's not even enough for a decent home." "The investments haven't grown as they should." "So you said last year." "Business continues to be poor." "You're a partner in your own firm now." "Barely clearing expenses." "You said the partnership was the goal." "This is for you." "I love you, Belle." "You did, once." "(SOBBING)" "Oh, Rizzo." "Spirit, show me no more." "Why do you delight in torturing me?" "I told you, these are the shadows of the things that have been." "That they are what they are, do not blame me." "Leave me." "DICKENS:" "Scrooge was left alone and exhausted in his bedchamber." "And thus he remained, until the nearby clock began to strike the hour." "(CLOCK CHIMING) -(GRUNTS) Oh." "What was that?" "2:00." "Oh, is it too early for breakfast?" "Yes." "Oh, good, supper time." "(DINGING)" "DICKENS:" "Scrooge knew the second of the ghosts was due." "Yet now, as the clock finished striking..." "Nothing." "(LAUGHING)" "Come in, and know me better, man." "Did I already say that?" "You did." "I am the Ghost of Christmas Present." "This is the night before the dawn before the day of Christmas." "Did I tell you that I am the Ghost of Christmas Present?" "You did." "Come in, know me better, man." "(CHUCKLES)" "You're a little absentminded, spirit." "No, I'm a large absentminded spirit." "(LAUGHS)" "My mind is filled with the here and now." "And the now is Christmas." "(BOTH LAUGHING)" "I don't believe I've ever met anybody like you before, sir." "Really?" "Over 1 ,800 of my brothers have come before me." "1 ,800?" "Imagine the grocery bills." "(LAUGHING)" "Have you ever noticed that everything seems wonderful at Christmas?" "In all honesty, spirit, no." "Perhaps I've never understood about Christmas." "Before this day is done, you will understand." "Oh, no!" "Oh, no!" "(BOTH SCREAMING)" "Ah, we shall go out into the world." "(CHUCKLING)" "I suppose you enjoyed that?" "Of course." "(GRUNTS)" "May I welcome you to Christmas morning?" "(LAUGHS)" "(SCATTING)" "(SINGING) lt's in the singing of a street corner choir" "It's going home and getting warm by the fire" "It's true wherever you find love it feels like Christmas" "A cup of kindness that we share with another" "A sweet reunion with a friend or a brother" "In all the places you find love it feels like Christmas" "It is the season of the heart" "A special time of caring" "The ways of love made clear" "And it is the season of the spirit" "The message if we hear it is make it last all year" "It's in the giving of a gift to another" "A pair of mittens that were made by your mother" "It's all the ways that we show love that feel like Christmas" "A part of childhood we'll always remember" "It is the summer of the soul in December" "Yes, when you do your best for love it feels like Christmas" "It is the season of the heart" "A special time of caring" "The ways of love made clear" "It is the season of the spirit" "The message, if we hear it is make it last all year" "It's in the singing of a street corner choir" "It's going home and getting warm by the fire" "It's true wherever you find love it feels like Christmas" "It's true wherever you find love it feels like Christmas" "It feels like Christmas" "It feels like Christmas!" "(LAUGHING)" "It feels like Christmas" "Spirit, I had no idea." "I wish to see friends, kin." "Show me family." "It's Fred." "My dear nephew Fred and his wife, Clara." "Having Christmas with friends." "(GASPS) Hey, look." "Fruit." "Well, now, we've had the plum pudding and sung the carols." "What now, my lovelies?" "A game, Fred." "Yeah, we must have a game at Christmas." "Do people play games at Christmas?" "I love games." "Say, do you know that fruit is wax?" "Oh, yeah, I wondered about the texture." "(SPITS)" "Let's play "Yes and No."" "Wonderful game." "Ah!" "That's a great game." "I'll be it." "Yes, let Fred be it." "He always thinks of good things." "I do have a good one, Clara." "Guess." "Is it vegetable?" "FRED:" "No." "CLARA:" "Mineral?" "No." "Animal, then?" "What else?" "What else, indeed." "Is it found on a farm?" "Never." "In the city?" "Usually." "Does it pull a hansom cab?" "(LAUGHS) Certainly not." "How about a dog?" "No." "A cat?" "A cat?" "I said it first." "No." "Wait, is this an unwanted creature?" "Often." "A mouse?" "No." "A rat?" "You called?" "A cockroach." "No." "A leech?" "It's too wonderful." "Wait, I know." "An unwanted creature, but not a rat, a leech, or a cockroach?" "Then what?" "What?" "It's Ebenezer Scrooge." "Yes." "(ALL LAUGHING)" "Wonderful." "That's a killer." "Come, there is much to see." "No more." "I wish to see no more." "Here." "Why have we come to this odd corner of the town?" "It's Christmas here, too, you know." "That's Bob Cratchit's house." "Perhaps it was the spirit's own generous nature, and his sympathy for all poor men, that led them straight to the home of Scrooge's faithful clerk." "Goose." "They're cooking goose down there." "(SNIFFING)" "Rizzo, get out of the way." "Hey, don't be sweeping the chimney now." "You're blocking the smell." "This is Bob Cratchit's house?" "How do you know that?" "You just told me." "Hmm." "Well, I'm usually trustworthy." "(CHUCKLING)" "(EMMY HUMMING)" "Who's that?" "Mrs." "Cratchit, of course." "(CONTINUES HUMMING)" "(BLOWING)" "(SIGHS)" "Peter, do not stop turning that spit." "That is the whole secret of a properly roasted goose." "It smells so good, Mother." "It does, doesn't it?" "(SNIFFING)" "Oh, that smells wonderful." "Oh, good grief." "Hey, I'm stuck, get me out of here." "I knew you weren't suited for literature." "(SCREAMING)" "At least I landed on something soft." "And hot!" "(EXCLAIMING)" "Hot, hot, hot!" "Mother, Mother, Mother!" "You said we couldn't eat the chestnuts until Father and Tiny Tim get home." "I wasn't eating them," "I was merely checking them to see if they were not burnt." "It's a chef's thing, dear." "And do not shout, Betina." "I'm Belinda." "I'm Betina." "Of course you are, Betina." "Belinda." "Whatever." "Huh!" "(BOB SCATTING)" "Huh?" "(BOTH SCATTING)" "(SINGING) 'Tis the season to be jolly and joyous" "Fa la la" "With a burst of pleasure we feel it arrive, fa la la" "It's a season when the saints can employ us, fa la la" "To spread the news about peace and to keep love alive" "(CHUCKLING)" "(GRUNTS)" "Come on, son." "Let's go see if Christmas dinner is ready yet." "Oh, yeah." "Yes." "Merry Christmas, everyone." "(GASPS)" "ALL:" "Daddy!" "(GROANS)" "Merry Christmas, girls." "Merry Christmas, Peter." "Merry Christmas." "Children, children, it's time to set the table." "Go ahead." "Wait for me." "Merry Christmas, Emily." "Merry Christmas," "Crachy. (GIGGLING)" "Oh." "Emmy." "Oh, oh." "I fell down the chimney and landed on a flaming hot goose." "You have all the fun." "What?" "(GROANS)" "Peter, the Christmas dinner." "The goose, the goose." "(COUGHING)" "No, now, son, you've gotten too excited." "You go sit in your chair a moment." "Rest a moment." "How was he at church?" "Oh, as good as gold and better." "He said he hoped the people saw him in church because it might be pleasant for them to remember upon Christmas Day who made lame beggars walk and blind men see." "A remarkable child." "DICKENS:" "With that, the Cratchits came to what was surely the happiest single moment in all the livelong year." "Such a meager feast." "But very much appreciated." "I pay Bob such a small amount." "Mr." "Scrooge." "Bob." "Bob Cratchit?" "It only seems right that I should lift a glass to my employer." "I give you Mr. Scrooge, the founder of the feast." "The founder of the feast, indeed." "If I had him here, I would give him a piece of my mind to feast upon." "And I bet he would choke on it." "Choke!" "My dear, the children." "Christmas Day." "Well, I suppose that on the blessed day of Christmas, one must drink to the health of Mr. Scrooge, even though he is odious, stingy, wicked," "and unfeeling, and badly dressed." "(GASPS)" "To the founder of the feast, Mr. Scrooge." "To Mr. Scrooge, he'll be very merry and happy this day, I have no doubt." "BOTH:" "No doubt." "Hmm." "Cheers." "God bless us, every one." "(SINGING) Life is full of sweet surprises" "Every day's a gift" "The sun comes up and I can feel it lift my spirit" "Fills me up with laughter Fills me up with song" "I look into the eyes of love" "And know that I belong" "Bless us all who gather here" "The loving family I hold dear" "No place on Earth compares with home" "And every path will bring me back from where I roam" "Bless us all that as we live" "We always comfort and forgive" "We have so much that we can share" "With those in need we see around us everywhere" "Let us always love each other" "Lead us to the light" "Let us hear the voice of reason singing in the night" "Let us run from anger" "And catch us when we fall" "Teach us in our dreams And please, yes, please" "Bless us, one and all" "Bless us all with playful years" "With noisy games and joyful tears" "We reach for you" "And we stand tall" "And in our prayers and dreams we ask you, bless us all" "We reach for you" "And we stand tall" "And in our prayers and dreams we ask you bless us all" "(COUGHING)" "EMMY:" "Let's all take our seats now." "Let's have dinner." "Spirit, tell me if Tiny Tim will live." "That is the future." "My realm is the present." "However, I see a vacant seat by the chimney corner." "And a crutch without an owner." "If these shadows remain unaltered, I believe the child will die." "But then, if he's going to die, he'd better do it, and decrease the surplus population." "Oh, spirit." "DICKENS:" "As the Cratchit family vanished into the darkness," "Scrooge kept his eyes upon Tiny Tim, until the last." "Come." "My time grows short." "Spirit, do you grow old?" "I do. (LAUGHS)" "Are spirits' lives so short?" "My time upon this globe is very brief." "I believe it will end upon the stroke of 1 2." "(GRUNTING)" "(BELL TOLLING)" "RIZZO:" "One." "Now?" "But, spirit, I have learned so much from you." "Nothing Scrooge could do or say could stop the relentless march of those terrible bells." "RIZZO:" "Five!" "Oh, spirit, do not leave me." "I think I must, in fact." "You have meant so much to me." "You have changed me." "And now I leave you with the Ghost of Christmas Yet To Come." "You mean, the future?" "Must I?" "Go forth, and know him better, man." "(LAUGHS)" "(WIND HOWLING)" "(RUMBLING)" "Oh!" "Am I in the presence of the Ghost of Christmas Yet To Come?" "Spirit, I fear you more than any specter I have yet met." "Oh, this is too scary." "I don't think I want to see any more." "When you're right, you're right." "You're on your own, folks." "We'll meet you at the finale." "Yeah." "I am prepared to follow and to learn, with a thankful heart." "Will you not speak to me?" "Oh, yes, the night is waning fast." "Lead on, spirit." "(LAUGHING)" "No, I don't know much about it, either way." "I only know he's dead." "When?" "Last night, I believe." "Wonder what he died of." "I thought he'd never go." "(ALL LAUGH)" "I don't know or care why he's gone." "I'd just like to know what he's done with his money." "Wouldn't we all?" "He didn't give it to me." "It's likely to be a cheap funeral." "I don't know a single soul who would go to it." "I wouldn't mind going." "If lunch is provided." "(ALL SNORT AND LAUGH)" "Speaking of lunch..." "Yes." "I know some of those gentlemen, spirit." "Of what poor wretch do they speak?" "So, back from the house of sadness, I see." "Sad that he didn't die years ago, the old skinflint. (LAUGHS)" "Hear, hear." "Let me see." "What have you got for Old Joe, huh?" "What have you got for me to remember him by?" "Joe, get off." "Well, I got these collar buttons from his dresser." "Mother of pearl." "No, I got his bed curtains." "Very fine damask. (LAUGHS)" "Very cheap damask." "But worth a few coins." "I've got his blankets." "His blankets?" "Why, Mrs. Dilber, they're still warm." "I don't pay extra for the warmth, you know." "You should." "It's the only warmth he ever had." "(ALL LAUGHING)" "I understand, spirit." "The case of this unhappy man might be my own." "My life turns that way now." "Merciful heavens." "Let me see some tenderness connected with this world, or I'll be haunted by that terrible conversation forever." "It's Bob Cratchit's house." "Oh, yes, spirit." "A place ofjoy and laughter." "Thank you for bringing me here." "It's so quiet." "Why is it so quiet, spirit?" "(SNIFFLING)" "Mother, you're crying again." "It's just the lamplight, that hurts my eyes." "Not Tiny Tim?" "There, now." "My eyes get weak in the dim light." "I would not want to show weak eyes to your father, when he gets home, for anything in the world." "He should be back now." "I think he's walked a little slower these past two evenings." "Hello, my dears." "Daddy." "Hello, girls." "Hello, Peter." "Children, please go set the table." "Thank you." "How was the churchyard?" "It will be lovely, Emily." "It would have done you good to see how green the place is." "(SOBBING)" "I picked a spot for Tim where he can see..." "It's a spot on the hill." "You can see the ducks on the river." "Tiny Tim..." "Tiny Tim always loved watching the ducks on the river." "Oh, spirit, must there be a Christmas that brings this awful scene?" "How can we endure it?" "It's all right, children." "Life is made up of meetings and partings." "That is the way of it." "I am sure we shall never forget Tiny Tim." "Or this first parting that there was among us." "(QUIET SNIFFLING)" "(THUNDER RUMBLING)" "Must we return to this place?" "There is something else that I must know?" "Is that not true?" "Spirit, I know what I must ask." "I fear to, but I must." "Who was the wretched man whose death brought so much glee and happiness to others?" "Answer me one more question." "Are these the shadows of things that will be?" "Or are they the shadows of things that may be, only?" "These events can be changed." "A life can be made right." "(SOBBING) "Ebenezer Scrooge."" "Please, spirit, no." "Hear me, I'm not the man I was." "Why would you show me this if I was past all hope?" "I will honor Christmas, and try to keep it all the year." "I will live my life in the past, the present, and the future." "I will not shut out the lessons the spirits have taught me." "Tell me that I may sponge out the writing on this stone." "Spirit, please speak to me." "(CLOCK TICKING)" "I'm home." "(CHUCKLES)" "DICKENS:" "Yes, the bedposts were his own." "The bed was his own." "The room was his own." "Hi, guys, we're back." "We promised we would be." "But the thing that made Scrooge happiest of all was that his life lay before him." "And it could be changed." "I will live my life in the past, the present, and the future." "Oh, Jacob and Robert Marley." "Heaven in the Christmas time be praised for this day." "I say it on my knees, Jacob and Robert." "On my knees." "Oh." "They're not torn down." "They're here." "And I'm here." "It's a miracle." "Oh." "Oh." "I don't know what to do." "I'm as light as a feather." "I'm as happy as an angel, I'm as merry as a schoolboy." "Do you think it's safe for us to be up here?" "Scrooge is saved, what can happen now?" "Yeah." "(BOTH SCREAMING)" "(THUD)" "You there, boy." "What, me?" "That is, "What, me, sir?"" "What's today?" "Pardon?" "What's today, my fine fellow?" "Today?" "Today is Christmas Day." "It's Christmas Day?" "I haven't missed it." "The spirits did it all in one night." "They can do anything they like." "Of course they can." "Of course they can." "Of course they can. (CHUCKLES)" "Know the poultry shop nearby?" "Yes, sir, I do." "An intelligent lad." "A remarkable lad." "(LAUGHS)" "Do you know whether the prize turkey has been sold in the window?" "Oh, the one twice as big as me?" "It's still there." "Oh, it's a pleasure talking with you, lad." "Go and buy it." "Be serious." "I am serious." "Buy it for me and I'll give you a shilling." "No, I'll give you five shillings." "Wow!" "(LAUGHING)" "And so the boy was off like a shot." "So even..." "Sorry." "I'll bring it to Bob Cratchit's house." "What a surprise it'll be." "It's twice the size of Tiny Tim." "And a few moments later, dressed in his finest," "Scrooge appeared on the streets of the city to wish merry Christmas to all the world." "Merry Christmas." "Merry Christmas." "Merry Christmas." "Merry Christmas." "(LAUGHS)" "Gee, thanks." "Everyone was out and about this fine morning." "And soon he encountered two familiar faces." "(YELPS) -(GASPS)" "Mr. Scrooge." "Pardon me, gentlemen, but about the charity donation you asked me for yesterday?" "Put me down for... (BOTH GASP)" "That much?" "Not a penny less." "A great many back payments are included in it, I assure you." "Oh, my goodness, I don't know what to say." "I just wish there was something we could give you." "A gift?" "A gift for me?" "Thank you." "Fifty times!" "And a merry Christmas." "Here's your turkey, Mr. Scrooge." "Follow me, lad." "(SINGING) With a thankful heart With an endless joy" "With a growing family Every girl and boy will be nephew and niece to me" "Nephew and niece to me" "Will bring love, hope and peace to me" "Love, hope, and peace to me" "Yes, and every night will end and every day will start" "With a grateful prayer and a thankful heart" "With an open smile and with open doors" "I will bid you welcome What is mine is yours" "With a glass raised to toast your health" "And a promise to share the wealth" "A promise to share the wealth" "I will sail a friendly course" "Follow a friendly chart" "On a sea of love and a thankful heart" "Life is like a journey" "Who knows when it ends?" "Yes, and if you need to know the measure of a man you simply count his friends" "Stop and look around you" "The glory that you see" "Is born again each day Don't let it slip away" "How precious life can be" "With a thankful heart that is wide awake" "I do make this promise every breath I take" "Will be used now to sing your praise" "Used now to sing your praise" "And to beg you to share my days" "Beg you to share my days" "With a loving guarantee That even if we part" "I will hold you close in a thankful heart" "(LAUGHING)" "(SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)" "Oh!" "Oh, oh, oh, oh!" "Bob Cratchit?" "So, here you are." "(STUTTERING) Mr. Scrooge." "You, sir, were not at work this morning as we had discussed." "But, Mr. Scrooge, sir, we did discuss it." "It's Christmas Day." "You gave me the day off." "I?" "I, Ebenezer Scrooge?" "Would I do a thing like that?" "No." "I mean, yes, but you did." "Bob Cratchit, I've had my fill of this." "And I have had my fill of you, Mr. Scrooge." "And therefore, Bob Cratchit..." "And therefore, you can leave this house at once." "And therefore, I'm about to raise your salary." "And I am about to raise you right off the pavement..." "Pardon?" "Pardon?" "Yes, Bob." "Raise your salary." "And pay your mortgage on this house." "Oh. (NERVOUS CHUCKLE)" "Please, sir, come inside." "Yes, yes." "Bob Cratchit, would you and your family care to join us for a little turkey dinner on this fine Christmas Day?" "Merry Christmas." "(ALL GREETING)" "(LAUGHING)" "DICKENS:" "And Scrooge was better than his word." "He did it all, and infinitely more." "And Tiny Tim?" "And Tiny Tim, who did not die..." "Aw, isn't that swell?" "To Tiny Tim, Scrooge became a second father." "He became as good a friend, as good a master, and as good a man as the good old city ever had." "It was always said of him that he knew how to keep Christmas well, if any man alive possessed the knowledge." "May that truly be said of us and all of us." "And so, as Tiny Tim observed..." "God bless us." "God bless us." "Every one." "(SINGING) The love we found" "The love we found" "We carry with us so we're never quite alone" "The love we found" "The sweetest dream that we have ever known" "Hey, say goodbye!" "The love we found" "Goodbye, goodbye." "So we're never quite alone" "RIZZO:" "Nice story, Mr. Dickens." "DICKENS:" "Oh, thanks." "If you like this, you should read the book." "It's in the singing of a street corner choir" "It's going home and getting warm by the fire" "It's true wherever you find love" "It feels like Christmas" "A cup of kindness that we share with another" "A sweet reunion with a friend or a brother" "In all the places you find love" "It feels like Christmas" "It is the season of the heart" "A special time of caring" "The ways of love made clear" "And it is the season of the spirit" "The message if we hear it" "Is make it last all year" "GHOST OF CHRISTMAS PRESENT:" "Oh, yes!" "Make it last all year." "It's in the giving of a gift to another" "A pair of mittens that were made by your mother" "It's all the ways that we show love" "That feel like Christmas" "A part of childhood we'll always remember" "It is the summer of the soul in December" "Yes, when you do your best for love" "It feels like Christmas" "And remember, it is the season of the heart" "A special time of caring" "The ways of love made clear" "It is the season of the spirit" "The message, if we hear it" "Is make it last all year" "(GHOST OF CHRISTMAS PRESENT LAUGHING)" "It's in the singing of a street corner choir" "It's going home and getting warm by the fire" "It's true wherever you find love" "It feels like Christmas" "It's true wherever you find love" "It feels like Christmas" "(SLOW POP SONG PLAYING)"