"(BEBOP MUSIC PLAYING)" "(REX VOCALIZING)" "(POP MUSIC PLAYING)" "(INDISTINCT CHATTERING)" "Get it, Shorty!" "(CLAMORING)" "Here, you want it?" "Want it?" "Here, take it, take it!" "All right, all right." "Come on." "(GRUNTING)" "(CHICKS SHOUTING)" "(GRUNTS)" "(CHICKS LAUGHING)" "(TWITTERING)" "(TWITTERING LOUDLY)" "(EXCLAIMS)" "Hey, hey, hey!" "Hey!" "What about me?" "What about me?" "Here's food." "Fight over it." "Now, George..." "Only way they'll learn." "(ALL CLAMORING)" "(RAZZING)" "That was not fair." "Oh, baby, my sweet baby." "CHICKS: (IN SINGSONG) Mommy's little birdie." "Mommy's little birdie." "He's so adorable." "Ma, don't do that." "You're acting like I just hatched." "What am I, a chick?" "Guess the writing's on the wall." "It's time to leave the nest." "MOTHER BIRD:" "Buster, wait." "You're still too young." "This flying's a snap." "Surprised I ain't done it before." "(TIRES SCREECH)" "(HUMMING)" "Expect a postcard from some place warm." "Miami, maybe Cuba." "BUSTER:" "Arrivederci, Mama." "(GASPING)" "(SCREAMING)" "(EXCLAIMING)" "(SIGHING)" "Hey!" "Wait, what..." "Hey!" "Hello there, little fella." "Where'd you fall from?" "No place." "Just leave me alone." "No place?" "No place?" "Never been there." "What's your name?" "Buster." "Well, Buster, don't you have a mom somewhere that's probably worried about you?" "BUSTER: (CHUCKLING) Yeah." "So, what are you gonna endeavor to do now?" "I'm gonna run away and join the circus." "Oh, the circus, the circus." "Now, you're talking sense." "The circus is an ocean with some spice." "You know, I know a little fellow who ran away and joined the circus." "Say, ain't you a dinosaur?" "Why, yes." "From tooth to toe, I am." "Then what the heck are you doing playing golf?" "I'm smart, Buster." "I'm one smart dinosaur." "But I wasn't always." "You weren't?" "No." "No, sirree." "No, I started off stupid and violent." "You did?" "This was a long time ago, you understand?" "A long time ago." "I was a real terror then." "I was a real animal." "And I was hungry all the time." "(SCREAMING)" "(ROARING)" "(WHIMPERING)" "(ROARING)" "Ah, a potential customer." "(WHISTLES)" "Oh, hello, Madam." "Oh, sir, this is your lucky day." "Through a lengthy process of random selection, your galaxy, your planet, your neighborhood, hold on to your tail now, kiddo." "You, yes, you have been chosen as the beneficiary of a promotional campaign." "(LAUGHING) Yes." "Here, before your very eyes, I have a product." "(GULPS)" "A revolutionary product." "You haven't tasted stuff like this before." "(LAUGHING) Brain Grain cereal." "Take one bite, you'll have an idea." "Take two bites, you'll have a hypothesis." "You'll be smart." "Comes in two flavors, regular or nutty-nut." "Choose your poison, partner." "You're gonna love this." "Yes, sirree bob." "Remember your manners, you big-mouthed, jaw-dropping carnivore." "(EXCLAIMS)" "That's it." "I'm irritated." "I'm going back to the ship." "(ROARING)" "(LAUGHS)" "Lunchtime!" "(ROARING)" "(SINGING) Row your boat gently down the stream" "Huh?" "Row, row, row VORB:" "What a personality." "your boat..." " Thank goodness for chrome hunger." "It's taken 280 portions of Brain Grain to jumpstart that skull of yours, pal." "...merrily, merrily Life is but a dream" "(LAUGHING) How about some more?" "(VORB CLAMORING)" "(ROBOT ARM SCOLDING)" "Lunch?" "What's lunch?" "(BELCHES)" "Oh, excuse me." "(BELCHES)" "VORB:" "Hey, why don't you check out the other Brain Grain graduates?" "I gotta report to Captain Neweyes." "Get social." "Hi, everybody." "(STAMMERING)" "Oh." "Oh." ""My name is Rex."" "Hey, how did I do that?" "I'm Elsa." "Enchanted and delighted to make your acquaintance, Rex." "(CHUCKLING) Pardon my wingspan, won't you please?" "(CLEARING THROAT)" "Yeah, okay." "Hey, I'm Woog." "You want a hot dog?" "Or do you want a hot dog?" "Is it good?" "Is it good?" "Words fail me." "How many we had so far today, Dweeb?" "250, and that's with everything." "Take it on faith, Rex." "You want a hot dog bad." "Hi, I'm Dweeb." "He's gotta have mustard on it." "And don't forget the sauerkraut." "I was amazed by the sauerkraut." "WOOG:" "She laid an egg." "(WOOG LAUGHING)" "(LAUGHING) I did." "I laid an egg." "I was so embarrassed." "Rex, I feel such a fool, but I must say it." "You are a rough and handsome fellow." "(CHUCKLES) Forgive me, I'm so flighty." "(CLEARING THROAT)" "(SNIFFING)" "Smells good." "(EXCLAIMS)" "Hey, that's what I call" "(ROARING) lunch!" "DWEEB:" "Lunch?" "That's what you used to call me." "Hey, I'm sorry about the way I've acted." "I was a real animal." "We all have regrets, Rex." "Tell me about it." "The things I've stepped on." "(CHUCKLES)" "Let's face it." "We've evolved." "REX:" "Wow." "(HUMMING)" "(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)" "Greetings, friends, and welcome to my ship." "I'm Captain Neweyes." "I live in the far future, where all the species on all the planets have had to learn to get along, eh, Vorb?" "That's the truth, skipper." "I've made a fortune out of my Brain Grain cereal, and now in my golden years, I'm trying to give something back." "I'm trying to make a few wishes come true, and to that end, I invented this." "It's a wish radio." "With it, I can hear what people are wishing for, especially young people because they wish the loudest." "Now, let me tune into this one station in the middle future." "(CHILDREN LAUGHING)" "(CHILDREN WHISPERING)" "I wish I had a moustache just like Daddy." "WOMAN:" "I wish..." "I wish my sister was nicer to me." "I wish all the dinosaurs would be here right now." "I wish I could see a Tyrannosaurus Rex." ""Rex"?" "Why, Captain, that's me." "That's me." "I wish I could see one of those flying dinosaurs." "(CHUCKLING) Why, that's me." "I fly." "(STAMMERING) I wish I could see a padasaurus." "(EXCLAIMING)" "This is great." "BOY:" "I wish I could see a triceratops." "I wish I could see more dinosaurs..." "Dinosaurs." "(CHUCKLING) Son of a gunosaur, that's us." "That's right." "That's you." "There are a lot of children down there in this one particular time that miss you, and they're wishing for you." "I've never heard a louder wish." "So I gave you all Brain Grain, and now you're smart enough to make up your own minds." "Who's that?" "They're young people, boys and girls." "They want to meet you." "What do you say?" "Gee, I wish I had a friend." "We'll do it." "Why not?" "I'd love to." "By all means." "(CHILDREN LAUGHING)" "I wish I had a Thanksgiving hat." "(SIGHING)" "(ALARM RINGING)" "(WHISTLES)" "Excuse me, Captain Neweyes, sir." "We've arrived." "Thank you, Vorb." "You may open the pod bay doors." "(ALL EXCLAIMING)" "It's a world covered with jewels." "(MUMBLING)" "Look at all those lights." "Now, there are two people down there you should know about." "One person is there to help you." "Her name is Dr. Juliet Bleeb." "I like her face, so full of character." "Welcome, welcome." "CAPTAIN NEWEYES:" "She knows you're coming." "She needs you to fulfill the wishes of many children." "Her address is The Museum of Natural History." "The Museum of Natural History." "Now, the other person you should know about is my brother, Professor Screweyes." "(SCREAMING)" "He's cruel." "He's insane." "He travels around down in this time causing mischief." "He was driven mad by the loss of his eye long ago." "My advice to you is find Dr. Bleeb and stay well clear of my dark and unhappy brother." "Beyond that, just try not to step on anybody." "(TITTERING)" "(GRUNTS)" "(GRUNTS)" "All right." "You got the boat ready, Vorb?" "Aye, aye, skipper." "CAPTAIN NEWEYES:" "Farewell, my friends." "(ALL SCREAMING)" "You gotta be kidding." "Arrivederci." "Goodbye." "(DINOSAURS SCREAMING)" "(DWEEB LAUGHING)" "(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO)" "(MUSIC DISTORTING)" "(GASPING)" "(SIGHING)" "(COUGHING)" "Well, great day in the morning." "(EXCLAIMING)" "Wow." "Magnificent." "Gee whiz." "ELSA:" "What is it?" "It's New York City, you moron." "(ALL GASPING)" "Whoa there, little fella." "(COUGHING)" "(LOUIE GASPS) Hi, my name's Dweeb." "I'm Woog." "I'm Elsa." "The name's Rex." "What's yours?" "I think my name is Louie, but seeing you is giving me doubts about my brain." "What are you guys, anyway?" "Dinosaurs, actually." "Dinosaurs, huh?" "You do got that look." "I mean, you are big." "Well, you're very small." "I'm big enough to suit my own purposes." "What are you, a bat?" "I'm a pterodactyl, actually." "(ELSA EXCLAIMING)" "(ELSA LAUGHING)" "Well, what are you?" "I was a runaway to the circus till you clowns sank me." "What's the circus?" "What's the circus?" "It's the big top, leatherhead." "Show business." "You guys ain't lived." "Where you guys going, anyways?" "We're going to The Museum of Natural History." "That's perfect." "There's a circus showing in Central Park." "One's right by the other." "Give me a lift to the circus, take a gander, and cross right over to the museum." "Showing up with a pack of dinosaurs should put me in real solid with the ringmaster." "What do you say?" "Well, I'm game." "Okay." "Certainly." "Okay, yeah." "(REX EXCLAIMING)" "(GULLS CAWING)" "Welcome to New York City." "(GASPING)" "(REX SCREAMING)" "Rex!" "Rex!" "Help, I can't swim!" "Hang on, big fella!" "Lift me up." "LOUIE:" "Think, think, think, think, think." "Think, Louie, think." "Help!" "Okay." "(ENGINE STARTS)" "Grab on!" "(WHEEZING)" "I wish..." "I wish..." "I remember you." "I wish..." "LOUIE:" "Gee, I wish I had a friend." "I owe you one, Louie." "(CHUCKLES)" "These things happen." "(GASPS SOFTLY)" "(EXHALES)" "Just get me to the circus, and we'll say no more about it." "Ow!" "LOUIE:" "Be careful, will you?" "I can't be saving you every two minutes." "Late." "Late again." "Late for everything." "Welcome to New York City." "Oh." "They're not here." "I've missed them with my endless, shameless lateness." "Oh, well, we'll rendezvous." "We'll rendezvous." "(SCOOTER STARTING)" "(TRAFFIC BUSTLING)" "You know, New York isn't ready for you guys." "We need a plan." "I got it." "Hey you, the bat." "I am not a bat." "I am a pterodactyl." "Can you fly?" "(CHUCKLING)" "(SCREAMING)" "(SHOUTING) Could you get me off of this thing?" "LOUIE:" "Watch out for the skyscraper." "(LOUIE SCREAMING)" "LOUIE:" "Coming through!" "LOUIE:" "Goodbye!" "You're gonna get us killed!" "I'm gonna slip off." "Pull up!" "You're going too fast!" "Slow down, already!" "Slow down!" "(LOUIE SCREAMING)" "(LOUIE WHIMPERING)" "ELSA: (CHUCKLING) Where exactly would you like to go?" "(STUTTERING)" "(EXCLAIMS)" "There, right there." "That's our ticket uptown." "Let's hang a Louie and head on back." "(CRYING)" "Whoa!" "Whoa!" "Whoa!" "Hit the brakes, I gotta land a minute." "Hello." "(SCREAMS)" "Hey, hey, hey, don't panic." "I'm a good guy." "Who are you?" "And what's that?" "Hey, babe, I'm Louie." "That there's a friend of mine." "I got... (SLIDING DOOR CLOSING)" "I'm sorry." "I didn't mean to frighten you." "Why are you crying?" "I am not crying." "Huh?" "Back off." "Back off." "You're fogging the glass." "Come on, big eyes, you're killing me." "What's the matter?" "It's Thanksgiving." "So, what's there to cry about?" "You don't like turkey?" "No, it's my parents." "What about your parents?" "Do they beat you?" "(MUSIC BOX PLAYING)" "No, they're just never around." "It's Thanksgiving, and they're off doing other things." "You see, my father's very business, and my mother's very social." "The name's Louie." "What's yours?" "Cecilia Nuthatch." "Well, Cecilia Nuthatch, you should've had my mother slobbering kisses all over me in public." "I had to make tracks, so you know what I'm doing?" "No." "What?" "I'm running away to the circus." "You are?" "I am." "What do you say you throw this hat away and come fly with me?" "(CHUCKLES)" "All right, I will." "(SLURPING)" "(GLASS SQUEAKING)" "Hey, I'm getting hungry." "(DWEEB EXCLAIMING)" "(CATS SCREECHING)" "I hope they're okay." "(CHILDREN CHATTERING)" "Hey, watch where you're going." "Hey, look!" "There they are." "REX: (EXCLAIMING) They have a little girl with them." "Everybody, I'd like you to meet my new friend, Cecilia Nuthatch." "The name's Rex." "Nice to meet you." "A pleasure, Rex." "Very nice to meet you." "And I'm Dweeb." "Hi." "A pleasure, Dweeb." "Very nice to meet you." "She's so well brought up." "All right, break it up." "Enough with the pleasantries." "These are all dinosaurs." "(WOOG LAUGHING)" "I'm hungry..." "I mean, I'm Woog." "Cecilia Nuthatch." "I'm very pleased to meet you, Woog." "Have you been a dinosaur long?" "Enough with this tea-party chatter." "(EXCLAIMING)" "What are you, some kind of a debutante?" "CECILIA:" "Why, yes, as a matter of fact, I am." "LOUIE:" "Oh." "(GROWLING SUGGESTIVELY)" "(LAUGHING) Rex!" "Listen, I've figured out a way you guys can stroll uptown and not cause a riot." "Come on." "(PLAYING MARCHING SONG)" "(INDISTINCT CHATTERING)" "(GASPING)" "(PRIMITIVE MUSIC PLAYING)" "(CHILDREN EXCLAIMING)" "BOY 1 :" "They're enormous!" "MAN:" "I can't believe it." "GIRL 1 :" "Oh!" "Look what's coming down the street." "BOY 2:" "Dinosaurs." "Quick." "Lift me up higher, Dad." "Dinosaurs at the parade." "GIRL 2:" "Are they gonna eat us?" "Dinosaurs!" "Quick!" "Holy smoke, are they ever big!" "Dinosaurs!" "No, Sasha, they're not dinosaurs." "They're robots." "I wish I could see real dinosaurs." "I wish I could see a real dinosaur!" "I wish they were real." "I wish they were real." "Dinosaurs, look, dinosaurs!" "Yeah, wouldn't it be great if they were real?" "Cool." "(LAUGHING)" "(SINGING) Roll back the rock to the dawn of time" "When the Earth was smoking and the lava flowed" "Roll back the rock to the dawn of time" "And blow your cool just like a volcano" "Snap your fingers and stomp your feet" "Soaking up a little of the jungle beat" "Roll back the rock to the dawn of time" "And sing this song with me" "Roll back the rock ALL: (SINGING) Roll back the rock" "Turn back the clock Turn back the clock" "Roll back the rock to the dawn of time" "And sing this song with me" "(PEOPLE CHEERING)" "(LAUGHING)" "(LAUGHING) No!" "(WHOOPING)" "Turn back the clock Baby, you can see" "Why the 20th century appeals to me" "So much to learn and so much to do" "And a zillion wonderful things to chew" "Roll back the rock Roll back the rock" "Turn back the clock Turn back the clock" "Roll back the rock to the dawn of time" "And sing this song with me" "So, Cecilia, what do you think of my friends?" "I think they're swank, first rank." "Top hat, right down to their tails." "Say what?" "And I like you, too." "Hey, shut up with that." "What are you, sappy?" "(WAILING)" "If you're thinking this guy's unreal" "Just imagine how I must feel" "Just imagine how I must feel" "Human beings, what a meal!" "Roll back the rock to the dawn of time" "And sing this song with me" "REX:" "Hey, hey." "What do you know?" "There's another fella just like me." "Good to see somebody of a similar persuasion, if you know what I mean." "Put 'er there." "Roll back the rock Roll back the rock" "Turn back the clock Turn back the clock" "Roll back the rock to the dawn of time" "And sing this song with me" "Hi." "Look, Mommy, those are real dinosaurs." "(GASPING)" "They're real." "They're real." "GIRL:" "They're not robots." "They're alive." "Gosh, real dinosaurs!" "(PEOPLE SCREAMING)" "Cecilia, I think things just took a turn for the worse." "CECILIA:" "Louie!" "Quick, split up." "We'll meet you at the circus in Central Park." "Now, run!" "Central Park?" "Where is Central Park?" "(ALL SCREAMING)" ""Professor Screweyes' Eccentric Circus." Professor Screweyes!" "That's the bad guy." "ELSA:" "Gracious." ""Now appearing in Central Park."" "Louie, Cecilia, they're in danger." "We gotta save them." "OFFICER ON BULLHORN:" "You, there!" "Don't move!" "(SIRENS WAILING) You're under arrest!" "Put your claws up!" "(ALL SCREAMING)" "OFFICER:" "Hit the deck!" "Watch out for the big one." "(OFFICERS CLAMORING)" "(HORN HONKING)" "(HUMMING)" "There we are." ""Dinosaur exhibit." "The Museum of Natural History."" "You can't skimp on publicity." "(WHIMPERING)" "LARRY ON RADIO:" "All right, it's The Larry King Show." "We're back." "We have a lady with us who says she has seen a real dinosaur." "(ENGINE REVVING) Okay, to midtown." "Ma'am?" "Larry, I was taking a shower just now and I looked out my bathroom window, and I saw a dinosaur." "LARRY:" "Okay, thanks for calling." "See you." "(SQUAWKING)" "PILOT ON RADIO:" "Central chopper one." "Pursuing Mesozoic suspect." "(SCREAMING)" "(DWEEB SCREAMING)" "(SCREAMING)" "(GRUNTING)" "My name is Dweeb." "Hi, nice to see you." "Nice hat." "(MAN SCREAMING)" "(SCREAMING)" "(BOTH SCREAMING)" "(ON RADIO) Chopper one to chopper two, suspect's no longer in sight." "I lost him." "How about taking a 10-30 for coffee and donuts?" "(LAUGHING)" "(SCREAMING)" "(HORNS HONKING)" "(TIRES SCREECHING)" "(SCREAMING)" "OFFICER:" "Hey, we've got them surrounded." "Don't let them get away." "Hmm." "OFFICER ON BULLHORN:" "We got you surrounded." "Give yourselves up." "(SCREAMING)" "(SIRENS WAILING)" "(ALARM BUZZING)" "(REX SCREAMING)" "(DWEEB LAUGHING)" ""Professor Screweyes' Eccentric Circus."" "(CROW CAWING)" "The map on the flyer said that this was the nearest entrance to the circus." "Come on." "Okay." "Uh, it's a little dark here." "Seems a little creepy, doesn't it?" "Hey, Cecilia, look!" ""Professor Screweyes' Eccentric Circus."" "This must be the right way." "Come on." "Oh, look, there's another sign." "(CAT SCREECHING)" "(BOTH PANTING)" "You know, Louie..." "Yeah?" "I really hate to say this." "Then don't." "Um, it's getting dark." "Maybe we should go back." "I don't know." "Maybe you're right." "Wait a minute, there it is." "(SNORTING)" "(SHRIEKS)" "What are you looking at?" "I didn't mean to." "I was just..." "Hey, she's looking at whatever she wants to, chump." "Says who?" "I do." "Want to make something of it?" "Louie, don't." "There's three of them." "Better listen to your friend." "You jerks don't scare me." "Back off, or I'll feed you a knuckle sandwich." "You shouldn't have done that." "Hey, you can't take a step back from those kind of creeps." "Oh, Louie, you're very brave." "Yeah, well, get off it." "Come on." "(CIRCUS MUSIC PLAYING)" "(LAUGHING)" "(GASPING)" "PROFESSOR SCREWEYES:" "Who laughed?" "I did." "No, it was me, sir." "Stubbs, get out of here." "You missed the show, kids." "Come back tomorrow." "(CLEARS THROAT)" "So, was that your audience we passed coming here?" "Probably." "Spooky bunch." "I appeal to a particular group." "What do you want?" "Well, we ran away from home, see..." "I see." "You ran away to the circus." "That's right." "You got it." "Well, you ran away to the wrong circus, kid." "Buzz off." "Um, Louie, I think we should go." "(CAWING)" "(LAUGHING)" "Take your girlfriend's advice, sport." "You don't want us?" "Oh, I'll take you in, if you want." "Louie, please." "I'm not so sure..." "Well, it's a standard contract." "But there's nothing written on it." "I try to keep things simple." "Want to sign?" "(EXCLAIMS)" "Press it to the contract." "Louie, I'm scared." "You are?" "Good." "(EXCLAIMS)" "(GROANS)" "CECILIA:" "And there." "Cecilia?" "Well, kids, welcome to Professor Screweyes' Eccentric Circus." "Welcome aboard." "ELSA:" "Yoo-hoo!" "Louie!" "Cecilia!" "REX:" "Where are you?" "Who's that?" "Oh, it's okay." "They're friends of mine." "Come on, I'll show you." "It's him." "Professor Screweyes." "Cecilia, get away from that man." "Hey, chill out." "We just joined his circus." "REX:" "That's Professor Screweyes." "We were warned about him." "Warned?" "By whom?" "Your brother." "So that's how you got here and why you can talk." "He's fed you that Brain Grain stuff and he warned you about me, eh?" "Let him look to his own affairs." "Did he show you that hokey wish radio of his?" "Yes, we heard what people are wishing for." "Well, I have a radio, too." "Let me show you." "Nope, no way, nada." "We don't want anything to do with you." "Come on, kids." "Come to the museum with us." "The Museum of Natural History." "They're not going anywhere." "They are under contract to me for a very long time." "(GULPS)" "(SOBBING)" "But these are the first children we've met." "We like them." "Hey, come on." "It's gonna be all right." "Oh, I don't think so, unless we can work something out with your friends here." "Hmm?" "(CACKLING)" "This is a time of loud wishes, yes, but even louder fears." "This is a fright radio." "It picks up what people are scared to death of." "You see, I find out what they're frightened of on this radio, and that's what I try to give them with my circus." "It's a public service." "But this is the station that comes in the loudest of all." "(CHILDREN CRYING)" "There's something behind the door." "There's monsters in the forest, I bet." "Monsters are gonna eat me." "I hope a monster doesn't get me." "Eyes staring at me." "(CHILDREN SCREAMING)" "(LAUGHING)" "Do you see what they're most afraid of?" "No." "Monsters." "Monsters?" "You!" "Us?" "Us?" "With a little help, yes." "What's that?" "It's Brain Drain." "The remedy to my brother's goody two-shoes breakfast cereal." "It'll take you back." "It'll make you monsters." "But we don't want to be monsters." "Mmm-mmm." "We're not taking anything." "You can forget it." "All right, you're free." "You can go." "I can't stop you, but the kids are mine." "(STAMMERING) What are you doing?" "Don't look, Cecilia." "I can't help it." "Among my many other rights under this contract, including copyrights on all their ideas," "I've got an exclusive option on their willpower." "Now, this is just a temporary dose, by way of demonstration." "(ELSA GASPING)" "(EXCLAIMING)" "(CAWING)" "Change them back, or I'll..." "Or you'll what?" "You're too enlightened by my brother's Brain Grain." "You've lost your savagery." "You've lost your frightening, prehistoric power to intimidate." "You're civilized now and I've got a contract, and you're gonna respect that like the chumps that you are." "But I'll tell you what I'd be willing to do." "You all agree to take the Brain Drain, and I'll rip up this contract and set the kids free." "If you don't take it, I'll bill them as the wild children of Hellzapoppin, and use them to scare people in the sideshow." "It's up to you." "(GASPING)" "(SIGHING)" "I'll take it." "And I'll take it, you loathsome creature." "I'll do it." "Me, too." "Good, now you come with me." "You're going to have to be kept in cages and chains, because you're gonna be wild again." "(MONKEYS CHIRPING)" "(YAWNING)" "Don't be scared." "You'll be all right." "It's no more than a bad dream." "PROFESSOR SCREWEYES:" "Come on, you." "We were friends for a minute, Louie." "(MOANS)" "Rex." "Remember me." "(DOOR CLOSING)" "(BIRDS TWITTERING)" "(GASPING)" "(EXHALES)" "(CECILIA LAUGHING)" "Good morning, Louie." "Good morning." "STUBBS:" "Good morning." "Louie, it's that funny clown." "I brought you breakfast." "Pancakes okay?" "LOUIE:" "Great." "CECILIA:" "Oh, yes." "Splendid." "So, you thought I was funny?" "Oh, yes, very funny." "I can never make the professor laugh." "Well, he is pretty nutty, don't you think?" "Well, you know, the show has gotten pretty weird and scary, in a way." "(TITTERING)" "I like comedy myself." "But the professor promises me that if I can come up with a bit that makes him laugh, he'll put it in the show." "I just ain't been able to bring it off yet, that's all." "What's your name?" "Stubbs the Clown." "Formerly of the legitimate circus." "How you doing?" "I'm Cecilia Nuthatch." "It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Stubbs." "Same at you." "Hey, do you want to see a bit?" "Sure." "Watch this, watch this." "Watch this." "This is just... (STUBBS LAUGHS)" "(EXCLAIMS)" "(SCREAMING)" "So, you thought that was funny?" "That was okay?" "Yeah, of course it was funny." "I showed it to the prof." "He didn't laugh." "LOUIE:" "You don't get it, do you?" "That guy's crazy." "No, not really crazy." "He's just a little bit off in his..." "Look, after breakfast, he told me you gotta get out of here." "What about the contract?" "He tore them up." "That was lucky." "And our friends?" "(STAMMERING) Your... who?" "You know, the dinosaurs." "Forget them." "Hey, no way." "Where are they?" "I'm telling you, you ought to forget them and go about your merry business." "Where are they, Stubbs?" "All right, I'll show you, but you're not gonna like it, though." "Come with me." "(SQUAWKS)" "(DINOSAURS ROARING)" "What's happened to them, Mr. Stubbs?" "The professor gave them some stuff that sent them off the deep end." "That's why he tore up your contracts." "That was a deal they made." "So, they're this way 'cause of me." "I guess so." "He's featuring them in the show tonight." "All the usual weirdoes will show up, I'm sure." "Stubbs, you gotta get us in that show." "I can't do that." "Don't you see?" "They did this for us." "This guy's crazy, Stubbs." "He's never gonna laugh at your jokes." "(CLATTERING)" "(GROANING)" "All right, I'll get you in, but not 'cause of what you said." "'Cause of her and you, when you laughed." "Come on, I gotta get ready for the show." "(HORNS SOUNDING)" "Showtime." "(SCREAMING)" "You bunch of dopes!" "Um, boo." "(WHISPERING) "Boo"?" "Is that the best you can do?" "They're easy enough to scare." "(SCREAMING)" "See?" "(MAN SHRIEKING) But, Louie, I don't want to scare anybody." "Well, neither do I, but do you want to get busted?" "All right, I'll try." "(SCREAMING)" "(SHRIEKING)" "I don't understand these people." "Don't you see?" "That's why they come, to get scared." "Simple as that." "(DRUMROLL)" "Oh, the show's starting up." "We better get to our places." "We're in the opening bit." "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the most terrifying show on the planet Earth," "Professor Screweyes' Eccentric Circus!" "We will scare you." "(AUDIENCE SCREAMING)" "We will frighten you." "We will shock you witless with our dreadful, terrifying, vile, monstrous program." "Ladies and gentlemen, without further ado," "I give you the infernal grand demon parade." "(WHISPERING) Okay, this is it." "Just look scary and wave your pitchforks." "(BATS SCREECHING)" "(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)" "(AUDIENCE SCREAMING)" "Louie, I feel so silly." "What is wrong with these people?" "I don't know, but I've never seen so many tonsils in my life." "(LAUGHING)" "(LAUGHING)" "Here's your face." "(LAUGHING)" "(DRUMROLL) Ladies and gentlemen," "I give you the most fearsome creatures of your darkest dreams." "I give you monsters!" "(DINOSAURS ROARING)" "Smelling salts here, two for a dollar." "Smelling salts." "(SCREAMS)" "Oh, Louie, Louie, what can we do?" "I don't know." "There's nothing you can do." "And now I will attempt the impossible." "I will attempt to master the most fearsome of all the dinosaur clan, the ultimate set of teeth in the history of the world." "The mighty Tyrannosaurus Rex." "Look into my eye, you bloodthirsty thing." "(ROARING)" "Remove his shackles." "(AUDIENCE SCREAMING)" "Now, take two giant steps." "(AUDIENCE SCREAMING)" "(CHUCKLES)" "Take two steps toward the audience." "So you see, the creature that scares you all does what I say." "I am the master of fear and I am not afraid!" "(ROARS)" "(SNARLING)" "(SHUDDERING)" "Oh, no." "No." "(SCREAMING)" "The professor." "He's gonna kill the professor." "Rex, no." "Don't do it." "Louie!" "What are you, crazy?" "You'll be pulverized." "No, don't do it." "(PROFESSOR SCREWEYES WHIMPERING)" "LOUIE:" "Rex, don't do it, I'm telling you." "I know you can't understand me, but you gotta." "Oh, please don't let bad happen." "You don't want to be like him." "Don't ruin everything 'cause you're mad or scared of something." "It can't be all about that, or what's life for?" "I know I act like I'm the original tough guy, but that's 'cause I'm scared, too." "(PEOPLE SCREAMING)" "(EXCLAIMS)" "No." "Let no bad happen." "But you, you are the original tough guy." "Rex, you've got nothing to prove." "You're a giant." "(PEOPLE GASPING)" "Don't be a midget bully boy for these yahoos." "Put him down, Rex." ""Rex." That means "king."" "(CRYING) Be a king, Rex." "Put the guy down." "Don't be a stiff." "Don't be just another slob spoiling the way the world could be." "Please, please put him down." "Please." "(GASPING)" "Way to go, Rex!" "(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)" "(GASPS)" "Wow." "(DINOSAURS ROARING)" "(CHUCKLING)" "(GROANS)" "Ooh!" "(GASPS)" "(VORB WHISTLING)" "Okay, men." "Fire when ready." "(HUMS TRIUMPHANT TUNE)" "VORB:" "Incoming!" "VORB:" "Let's fly." "Fire in the hole!" "VORB:" "The whole sumo!" "Well done, gentlemen." "Good work." "Brother." "I should've known you were behind this." "You'd already lost by the time I'd arrived." "This boy had beaten you." "I heard your wish on my wish radio." "Very good." ""Let no bad happen." Couldn't agree more." "Louie?" "You all right, Rex?" "Did I do anything bad?" "No, you were great." "You were great, too, Louie." "(EXCLAIMS IN DISGUST)" "Don't do that." "Why not?" "It's embarrassing." "You kissing me and everything, it's unmanly, just..." "That is what it is." "You know, you're right." "I am?" "Well, yes." "If anybody's kissing anybody, you should be kissing me." "I should?" "(CHUCKLING) Most definitely." "(SIGHS)" "I've been meaning to talk to you, Rex." "(EXCLAIMS)" "About what, Elsa?" "The way you look at me, it makes me want to lay an egg." "(LAUGHING)" "(SIGHS)" "(ALARM RINGING)" "(WHISTLES)" "Captain Neweyes, it's time to go." "Okay, everybody, on board." "I've got a surprise for you." "Good night, folks." "Good night, Louie." "Good night, Stubbs." "PROFESSOR SCREWEYES:" "Hey, Stubbs, where do you think you're going?" "Get back here." "Oh, I forgot to tell you." "I quit!" "I quit." "I resign." "Get this completely in your ear." "I am profoundly out of here!" "And this ain't about money." "I ain't even complaining about my dry-cleaning bill." "But hang around with elephants all day and try to keep your clothes clean!" "(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)" "(SIGHS) But that's not the point." "The point is, I quit." "Quitski!" "Over-and-outski!" "That's all she wrote!" "Keep my last check, buddy!" "Here's my shoes, my nose, my horn, my buzzer, my fake arm," "my bug-eye glasses, my backstage passes, my hat, my rabbit, his backstage passes, my fake fangs, a few birds, my pogo stick, my donkey ears, my extending tongue gag, my rubber chicken." "You can't even get these anymore." "My lucky whale tooth, and a giant clam that opens to reveal the American flag held by a mermaid and her normal brother, Richard!" "So long!" "(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)" "Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!" "And by the way, in case you're wondering why I'm talking and they're laughing, let me explain it to you." "That's comedy!" "(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)" "Will you change your ways and come with me?" "Never." "Then we must go." "(EXCLAIMING)" "(STAMMERS)" "Brother, brother, wait." "When I am alone, when I have no one to scare," "I get very frightened myself." "The crows could... (GASPING)" "(KNOCK AT DOOR)" "I'm coming." "I'm coming." "I'll be there in a moment." "(EXCLAIMS)" "Welcome, welcome." "You've taken so long, I almost gave up." "But the good Captain explained." "You've had so many adventures." "Well, you must be tired after such doings." "DR. BLEEB:" "I'm sure you'll sleep well tonight." "Have your dreams of this beautiful world, and tomorrow, you'll begin to fulfill the wishes of many children." "We'll make believe you're statues." "The adults will wait outside as you reveal the miracle of yourselves to the young." "It'll be very good." "It'll be very good, indeed." "(CHILDREN CLAMORING)" "(DR. BLEEB LAUGHING)" "Thank you." "Thank you." "I'll take them from here, please." "Come on, children, this way." "(CHILDREN GASPING)" "Wow." "Wow." "Cool." "Cool." "All right, gang." "Go for it." "My name is Woog." "What's yours?" "Leo." "(CHILDREN CHUCKLING)" "Wow." "(GASPS)" "(EXCLAIMS)" "Look." "Wow." "Hello, I'm Elsa." "Hi, there." "My name is Dweeb." "And I'm Rex." "(REX CHUCKLING)" "Hi, I'm Max." "Hi, Max." "So, this'll be our little secret, okay?" "Okay." "My name's Nick." "I'm Frank." "Delightful." "Delightful." "Really, just a recipe for delightful." "(CHILDREN CLAMORING)" "And that's the way it is." "And that's what happened, Buster." "The dinosaurs are still at the museum." "What about the kids?" "Oh, Louie and Cecilia are quite the little couple now." "REX:" "And they made up with their parents." "(TWITTERING)" "Good night, little tough guy." "Remember my story." "CHICKS: (IN SINGSONG) Mama's little birdie." "Mama's little birdie." "Mama's little birdie." "(REX HUMMING)" "(REX HUMMING)"