"This is beautiful, beautiful, my favourite." "Oh, yuck." "At least you won't have to eat it much longer, tragic love of mine." "What are you talking about?" "I was just contemplating a coincidence relating to the unspeakable tragedy approaching us." "What tragedy?" "I can't!" "It's too horrible to talk about!" "Talk." "Please don't make me!" "Oh, spit it out, metal mind." "I refuse to answer him." "Well - then answer me." "My name is 790 - and - and " "And?" "Go on." "And you have 79 hours left!" "79 hours left, what are you talking about?" "The 79 hours until your expiry date!" "My what?" "What are you talking about?" "Your shutdown time." "I don't understand." "You are a love slave." "I, 790, the robot who loves you, turned you into a love slave, and like all love slaves I gave you an expiry date, and yours is 79 hours from now." "Meaning what?" "Meaning your life will expire in 79 hours!" "And just why didn't you say anything until now?" "I thought you knew!" "All love slaves have expiration dates." "It was just something too painful to talk about." "I thought you knew!" "I have failed my beloved." "790, if you were the one who made Xev into a love slave, surely you can alter her expiry date." "I could, I could, I could - if I had a Lusticon it would be easy." "What's a Lusticon?" "The love slave transformation machine that I operated." "The machine that transformed a thousand unimportant fatballs into a thousand irrelevant beauty queens." "The machine that transformed my beloved." "The machine that was lost for all time when we destroyed the Cluster." "But was that the only one?" "Criminal justice in the 20,000 Planets was centralised on the Cluster." "No others were needed." "Could we build a new one?" "There was a prototype." "A primitive prototype constructed before my time." "It was sent to a remote planet called Woz." "They were having difficulty keeping clerics there, so the prototype Lusticon was sent to Woz to provide them with love slaves." "Woz was a distant outpost of the League of 20,000 Planets." "It was a supply depot of the Divine Order run by clerics." "Can we make it there in 79 hours?" "Yes." "Well, let's go." "I hope it still exists." "Woz is known for its sudden and intense storms." "Are you Kidding?" "I can't see a thing." "What was that?" "We landed, I think." "A little closer, please... that's pretty too." "Oh my." "Oh my." "Oh my." "Oh my." "She appears to be dead." "Oh no." "Now what?" "I suggest we try this way." "Well, I wonder what he's up to now?" "Welcome, Brightness seekers." "Please come in, and welcome to our house." "Sisters - we have visitors." "This is Xev - she's a love slave." "Excuse me." "The Wozzard will be with you." " The what?" " The Wozzard." "Why did you crush our beloved sister with your bug?" "It was unintentional." "Yeah, yeah, we couldn't see her, we couldn't see anything." "I believe you." "You will forgive me for thinking that it was intentional." "The Dark Lady has been trying to extinguish our brightness." "It is fortunate that we found you before she did." "The Dark Lady is pure evil." "She destroys women." "Look, I'm a love slave, and I'm reaching my expiry time." "I need your help." "Can you help her?" "Of course I can help her." "I don't like this." "This is not a true Lusticon, but guided by the Brightness we have learned how the evil machine works." "Using this fabrication of mine, I can adjust your expiration date." "What is the purpose of this machine?" "It serves the special needs of love slaves - love slaves like Xev." "She's running out of time." "Hurry!" "I'm sorry to have to make this demand, but I've been touched by the Brightness." "What demand?" "Will you be our beloved brothers?" "I'm sorry - what did you say?" "In exchange for the loss of our beloved sister Dodo." "You two will become our beloved brothers, and you, our beloved sister." "What is a beloved brother?" "A beloved brother is one who would complete the mission our beloved sister was carrying out." "Just what was this mission?" "It was our dream to stop the suffering of her sisters." "She was going to find a way through the perimeter, destroy the Dark Lady's Lusticon machine, and end her life." "But that dream was crushed." "Well look, that was an accident." "I'm sorry, but look I told you, that was just an accident." "Dodo's death need not have been in vain, sisters." "Her death has brought us a new hope." "Please will you complete our mission?" "So, wait - you, want us, to kill the Dark Lady?" "It is an unpleasant request, I know." "Unpleasant?" "!" "But you may be our only opportunity to rid the universe of the Dark Lady's evil." "790, can you operate this machine?" "It is a very unfamiliar variation of the Lusticon." "I thought these machines were your speciality." "It seems to be missing the marker unit, which I require in order to operate it." "How long before Xev expires?" "Three hours and six minutes." "You will have to rely on that blowhard." "Wozzard - help Xev now." "I must insist." "You can kill me if you must, my life is not important." "Deliver me to the Brightness." "I want to assure all of you, I would not do this if there were any other way." "It is a mission that would suit you" " Kai." "How do you know his name?" "I once studied to be a cleric in the Divine Order." "Kai was - a dark legend." "But then I was touched by the Brightness." "Since that time I have fought the Divine Order and its evil residue." "Yeah, well so have we." "Now what is he up to?" "With the collapse, the Lusticon fell into the hands of the Dark Lady." "She used it to transform the beautiful natural bodies of women into cliched male driven images of desirability." "How, how, terrible." "These girls, they think it's going to be wonderful." "That they're going to have the pretty perfect little life." "The Dark Lady does not tell them that what she really does is to transform their bodies into those ridiculous aberrations, so that she can sell them into the sex slave market." "She does not tell these pitiful girls that she gives them expiry dates for just seven days later, so that her market of incomplete male monsters are always hungry for more." "How doe you know she only gives them seven days?" "My name is Leela." "I went to the Dark Lady, because I wanted to be beautiful." "People always told me I was ugly." "I just want people to like me." "I'm sorry." "I don't want to die." "Please, somebody help me, please." "We found her before I had built the machine." "She died less than an hour later." "The Dark Lady is a truly evil woman." "Xev's life, in exchange for the Dark Lady's." "If Xev and Stan request that I complete that bargain, I will." "Uh, well - well she does, she sounds like, I mean, she really is a, you know, pretty bad, pretty evil person and yeah maybe she, maybe she maybe even does deserve to die" "If there were an evil tree, she would be the roots." "Kai, just kill her, without delay!" "My beloved's time is ebbing away!" "I don't know if I can ask you to kill someone, Kai." "It doesn't feel right." "Yes it does!" "Tweedle, you human skid mark, tell Kai to do it at once!" "Well, um, I er, I don't see that we've really got much of a choice." "Do you?" "I sense that you are beginning to be touched by the Brightness, my brothers." "Wait wait." "Look - doesn't killing somebody bother you?" "No." "Not even a little?" "To be bothered, I would have to be alive." "Well all I gotta say is, she may be evil and everything, but I don't know if I could be the one to actually kill her." "If you like, I will provide you with an opportunity to find out." "No no no, that's all right." "I mean, you're the one with the experience, right?" "Soon, you won't have to worry about being a love slave." "You will be able to put the sick male need for penetration behind you." "Actually it hasn't been that bad - being a love slave, I mean." "I'm sorry?" "Well, I wasn't exactly happy with the way I looked before." "Real beauty does not lie on the surface, Xev." "It rests within you." "Put me down, you irritating self-righteous manipulative pseudo-religious charlatan!" "And Xev?" "Yes?" "." "You're my number one." "Are you in touch with your true nature?" "I think so." "Good." "Oh." "I don't think we should go this way." "Why not?" "Êàé!" "Kai!" "Kai?" "Oh." "Oh boy." "The perimeter has been breached." "The perimeter has been breached." "The perimeter has been breached." "I have a surprise for you." "I have unlocked your inner beauty." "Why have you done this to me?" "I have a small confession to make." "I cannot readjust your clock." "My machine doesn't have the right parts, and I don't care much about that anyway." "It's too late." "But I have done something much much better for you." "No, you haven't." "People have filled your head with the silly idea that the pure purpose of your body was to serve as a beacon of attraction for the human male." "I like human males!" "You are free now, Xev." "Free from the tyranny of your own sexual oppression." "Free from that manmade plastic shell." "I want to be the way I was!" "That's not you talking Xev, it's your conditioning." "You're saying what they want you to think." "Let it go Xev, let it go." "No!" "You have less than two hours left." "I can't change that, but at least you can now spend them being the person you really are." "Please, let me go." "I wanna be with my friends." "They're not your real friends Xev." "They don't have the Brightness - we do." "If I release you, you would just try to fight your inner self." "Use what little time you have left concentrating on the person inside you." "It will be better, I know that." "Let me go!" "And Xev?" "Yes?" "You could say thank you." "Thank you?" "!" "You're welcome." "You can go out in darkness, or in Brightness." "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to see the Dark Lady." "What if I don't want to go on at all?" "Tonight, we become agents of light." "We become beacons of truth." "We will make the ultimate sacrifice and illuminate the darkness forever and all time." "This is it!" "This is it, brother!" "The wicked bitch is dead!" "Yes?" "We have come for the Dark Lady." "What do you want with her?" "We are coming on behalf of the Wozzard." "Oh, you didn't have to say that!" "What for?" "To kill her." "Don't " "The Dark Lady is gone." "Now you should leave too." "Goodbye." "They will not let us in." "Well, that's a big surprise." "Hold onto me." "What?" "Give me your hand." "What?" "Girls, they're in the building." "Find and capture them, now." "This is a bad business to be in." "In the beginning there was the Brightness." "And out of the Brightness came the stars, the planets, and all the life on them." "Then came the hand of Man, the destroyer of planets, the taker of life." "This nut accurately represents the brain of Man, and these fruits his body." "And this is how the manbodybrain sees the human female - but that is the manbodylie." "Seek the Brightness sisters," "This is the womanbodytruth." "send the men away." "You are a lifegiver." "You must destroy the destroyer." "You must seek the Brightness." "Seek the Brightness sisters, love will come to stay." "Seek the Brightness sisters, send the men away." "Seek the Brightness sisters, love will come to stay." "Tarry, you're with me." "Whoa, wait Kai, look" " I'm kinda nervous about going any further," "I mean, I don't know why I'm involved in this in the first place?" "I do not require assistance." "Perhaps you should stay here instead." "I'm nervous about staying here too." "Halt!" "I have come for the Dark Lady." "Yeah." "Yeah, we've come for the Dark Lady." "Girls, I want them stopped." "I keep asking but no-one's doing anything!" "Find the light inside yourself, sister." "Revel in who you are, and not in who you are not." "Strive for the Brightness, for the light of the lifegiver is truth." "Know the beauty of the flower, and the desperation of the seed." "Be at peace with your maker, whatever you conceive her to be." "Seek the Brightness sisters, send the men away." "Seek the Brightness sisters, love will come to stay." "Hey, uh - no." "No." "Hey, just stop!" "Ah ah ah." "Uh Uh." "No." "Just stop!" "That's good." "Look, I think it's only fair to warn you that I'm an assassin." "I've killed a lot of people." "I mean you, you don't mean anything to me." "Oh yeah, I see what your game is." "Well it's not gonna work, you hear me?" "Don't push me, because I'll shoot, I will." "Stop!" "Well, good." "Glad to see to see you girls are finally getting some sense." "Hello." "Go sisters, go quickly!" "Look look, point that somewhere else." "Oh look, just - look, my name is Stanley Tweedle, and none of this was my idea." "I'm not an assassin, I just said that, because - look, the Wozzard forced us to come here." "Oh come on, I mean, I'll do whatever you want." "Strip." "What?" "Strip." "Yeah." "Really?" "OK." "And though men may lead you into darkness, know that you can always find true Brightness inside the sacred vessel of your womanbodytruth." "Seek the Brightness sisters, send the men away." "Seek the Brightness sisters, love will come to stay" "Kai?" "Stan?" "Where are you when I need you?" "This is the glowing time, sisters." "We must eliminate everyone!" "May we see each other again in a brighter future." "May the Brightness reach you too." "Thank you." "Thank you for everything." "Go, go!" "Into the fire, girls." "Seek the Brightness sisters, may darkness go away." "Seek the Brightness sisters, make a brand new day." "Seek the Brightness sisters, send the men away." "Make it stop, 790!" "I wish I could, but I can't, Xevabulous one!" "It's torture!" "Think of what I feel for you, Xev." "Think of me in the 49 minutes we have left together!" "Oh, I think I'm starting to faint!" "Stay with me, Xev!" "All the way?" "All the way." "ÎÊ." "I wouldn't do that, sister." "You're outnumbered, honey." "Put down your weapon." "Tell me why!" "Tell me why you wanna die for the Dark Lady." "She only gave you seven days left to live." "She set your time expiry clock to seven days." "Don't you understand?" "You're just cliched man driven images of desirability." "You're just fodder for these incomplete man monsters." "Yeah, well I've been here a month." " Three months." " Two and a half." "See what happens, Skye?" "The sick male need for penetration turns your brain to mush." "Now girls, there's a " "Shut up!" "I said don't move!" "You cannot deny the light." "It's the glowing time." "May we meet again in a brighter future." "Look, now look, everybody just, just " "Oh my." "Oh my!" "Is my shuttle ready?" "Can you hear me, is the shuttle ready?" "Is my shuttle ready?" "!" "Oh, no." "No!" "This is the Lusticon, and you are the Dark Lady?" "Who are you?" "I am Kai." "I have come to kill you." "Before I kill you, would you remove your covering?" "I prefer to face my - victims, openly." "Oh, I think I'll do us both a favour and politely decline." "I'd really rather not die seeing your face twisted with revulsion at my appearance." "Believe me, I'm a monster to behold." "May I ask why you did not use the Lusticon on yourself?" "Oh I did, many times - but it can do nothing for my deformity." "Ironic, yes?" "That I, who have never known anything but physical repulsion, should know more than anyone the power of physical attraction." "I cannot make myself beautiful, but is it so wrong for me to try to give the gift of beauty to others?" "No." "Then why do you want to kill me?" "I do not want to kill you." "I have agreed to kill you." "I will regret your death." "Regret my death?" "I regret my life, and yet I still don't want to die." "Kai, do you not have any feelings?" "No." "I do not." "Please Kai." "I beg you." "Do not kill me." "I am a good person." "I have killed many good people." "Then get on with it Kai!" "She is anything but a good person." "Kai, you may be dead, but you still behave like a man, with a head full of romantic notions - but that's OK." "I only needed you to breach the perimeter fence." "I'll take over from here." "Where's Xev?" "Don't bother." "I know I'm dead." "And so are you." "These are isotopic devices." "I made them." "They're plenty powerful enough to end all of this and they're already set, so what do you think?" "Why do you hate me so?" "They emit pure light." "We are all going to die very brilliantly - but I don't hate you." "I love you." "I just hate what you do." "I know your type." "You only love yourself." "You hate everyone else." "You are so wrong." "I know what love is - because I've never had it." "I will not kill you now." "Oh, that makes me feel much better." "But I do not think I can stop him." "You do not seem to be as the Wozzard described you." "She is pure evil Kai." "Concentrated, hateful evil." "Take a look in the mirror, fool." "Do I exploit the biological weaknesses of young women?" "Twisting hearts with the cruel scalpel of male driven fantasies?" "These girls come to me." "I give them beauty, self-esteem " "And a seven day expiry date." "What are you talking about?" "Don't try to hide it." "You sell their bodies into the sex slave market." "That's the sort of thing that would come out of your twisted mind, witch monster!" "Go ahead." "Call me a monster." "It's what I am." "It's what everyone has called me all of my life." "I know that I am hated, by stupid people, like you." "But on the inside, I am no monster." "On the inside, I am clean." "On the inside, I am beautiful." "You are the monster inside." "Lies!" "I know what you've done." "I've seen it with my own eyes." "I've felt it with my own heart!" "What are you saying?" "You took the love of my life!" "She was beautiful on the inside." "Then one day this poor fragile flower came to you, and you destroyed her." "I never saw her again." "Ah - so she became beautiful, and dumped you, yes?" "Left you alone." "I understand." "She already was beautiful." "So now, you prey on the psyches of insecure women to take your revenge on me?" "I love you Xev!" "Do you - do you love me?" "Oh, universe of cruelty!" "Breathe in for the sisters - breathe out for the brothers." "Breathe in for the sisters - breathe out for the brothers." "You are a deeply, deeply, stupid man." "Kai!" "Kai, where are ya?" "Kai, are you all right?" "Oh." "Oh my." "What happened?" "The Wozzard's bright idea." "Oh good, good." "I feel better." "You look terrific." "How much time do I have now?" "Darling, it's with the greatest pleasure that I give you - the full 79 years." "Thanks Kai." "Thanks." "Hmm." "Oh - that's it?" "OK." "So - you think there's a chance any of the love slaves down there might have survived?" "OK." "So, er - do you feel any different?" "You know what, 790?" "What is it, my resilient peach of happiness?" "There's no place like home."