"Transcript by Scooby Resync by muter" "Come on, how many times do you two die anyway?" "There is someone besides Michael strong enough to take on Lucifer." "And who's that?" " God." "I'm gonna find God." "What is it you want?" "An amulet." "It burns hot in god's presence." "It'll help me find him." "I got nothing like that." "You don't." "What is it?" "Uncle Bobby gave it to me, said it was real special." "Thank you, Sam." "I love it." " May I borrow it?" " No." "Dean." "Give it to me." " Don't lose it." "Looking for this?" "Mornin'." "Shut up." "Hands where I can see 'em." "Wait a minute." "Is that you, Roy?" "It is, isn't it?" "Which makes you, Walt." "Hiya, Walt." "Don't matter." "Well, is it just me, or do you two seem a tad upset?" "You think you can flip the switch on the apocalypse and just walk away, Sam?" "Who told you that?" "We ain't the only hunters after you." "See you in the next life." "Hear me out." "I can explain, okay?" "Please." "Stay the hell down." "Shoot him." "Killing Sam was right, but Dean..." "He made us, and we just snuffed his brother you idiot." "You want to spend the rest of your life knowing Dean Winchesters on your ass?" "'cause I don't." "Shoot him." "Go ahead, Roy." "Do it." "But I'm gonna warn you... when I come back..." "I'm gonna be pissed." "Come on!" "Let's get this show on the road." "Come on, already." "Season 5 Episode 16 "Dark Side Of The Moon"" "Sammy?" "Come on, let's go!" "Weird dream." "Got your lighter?" "Whoa." "I haven't seen this in years." "Fire 'em up." "I remember this." "It's 4th of July, 1996." "Dad would never let us do anything like this." "Thanks, Dean." "This is great." "Fire in the hole!" "Sam?" "Dean." "Cass?" "Yeah, it's me." "You got to stop poking around in my dreams." "I need some "me" time." "Listen to me very closely." "This isn't a dream." "Then what is it?" "Deep down, you already know." "I'm dead." "Condolences." "Where am I?" "Heaven." "Heaven?" "How did I get to heaven?" "Please, listen." "This spell, this connection, it's difficult to maintain." "Wait, I-if I'm in heaven... then where's Sam?" "What do you see?" "What do you mean, what do I see?" "Some people see a tunnel or a river." "What do you see?" "Nothing." "M-my dash." "I'm in my car, I'm on a road." "All right... a road." "For you, it's a road." "Follow it, Dean." "You'll find Sam." "Follow... the road." "Thank you." "So, Sam..." "I hear you're new to McKinley." "Um, yes, sir." "Two weeks." "Stephanie over here just can't seem to stop talking about you." "Dad, shut up!" "Wow!" "Just... wow." "Dean?" "What are you doing in my dream?" "So, what does your father do for a living?" "Hmm." "You don't say." "Heaven?" "Yep." "Okay, how are we in heaven?" "All that clean living, I guess." "No, no." "Um... okay." "You, I get." "Sure." "But me?" "Maybe you haven't noticed, but, um..." "I've... done a few things." "You thought you were doing the right thing." "Last I checked, it wasn't the road to heaven that was paved with good intentions." "Yeah, well, if this is the sky-mall... it sucks." "I mean, where's the triplets and the latex, you know?" "Come on, a guy has needs." "You know, when you bite dust, they say your life flashes before your eyes." "Your point?" "This house... it's one of my memories." "When I woke up, I woke up in one of my memories." "The 4th of July that we burned down that field." "Well, maybe that's what heaven is, a place where you relive your greatest hits." "Wait... so, playing footsie with brace-face in there, t-that... that's a trophy Moment for you?" "Dean, I was 11 years old." "This was my first real Thanks-giving." "What are you talking about?" "We had Thanks-giving every year." "We had a bucket of extra-crispy, and Dad passed out on the couch." "I don't remember this." "Hey!" " We should, uh..." " Yeah, definitely." "Okay." "Uh, what the hell was that?" "I don't know, but we are taking the escalator back downstairs." "Cass!" "What are you doing?" "What's it look like?" "Like you've lost your mind." "Cass talked to me before using this... this, phone home, radio thing, so I..." "Cass!" "I can hear you." "Cass." "Hey." "So, uh, so, I found Sam, b-but something just happened." "There was this weird beam of light." "Don't go into the light." "Okay, thanks..." "Caroline." "What was it?" "Not what, who." "Zachariah." "He's searching for you." "A-and if he finds us?" "You can't say, yes to Michael and Lucifer if you're dead, so Zachariah needs to return you to your bodies." "Great, problem solved." "No, you don't understand." "Y-you're behind the wall." "This is a rare opportunity." "For what?" "You need to find an angel." "His name is Joshua." "Hey, man." "No offence, but we are kind of ass-full of angels, okay?" " You find him." " I can't." "I can't return to heaven." "So, what's so important about Joshua?" "The rumour is, he talks to God." "And, so?" "You think maybe, just maybe, we should find out what the hell God has been saying?" "Geez." "Touchy." "Please." "I just need you to follow the road." "What road?" "It's called the Axis Mundi." "It's a path that runs through heaven." "Different people see it as different things." "For you, it's two-lane asphalt." "The road will lead you to the garden." "You'll find Joshua there." "And Joshua... he can take us to God." "The garden." "Please, hurry." "So, w-what do you think?" "I think we hit the yellow bricks, find this Joshua cat." "Really?" "What, you don't?" "No." "I, uh, I'm just surprised you do." "I mean, last I checked, you wanted to break God's nose." "Now you think he can help?" "He's the only one who can." "I mean, come on, Sam." "We are royally boned." "So, prayer... a last hope of a desperate man." "Wasn't there a street out here?" "There was." "Dean?" "What are you doing?" "Looking for a road." "You... you think the road is in a closet?" "We're in heaven, Sam." "Okay?" "Our memories are coming true, Cass is on TV." "Finding a road in a closet would be pretty much the most normal thing to happen to us today." "What?" "I used to have one of these... when I was a kid." "That was the road?" "I guess." "Pretty trippy, right?" "Yeah." "More trippy... um, apparently... you "Wuv hugz."" "Shut up." "Wait a minute." "I know where we are." "Where?" "We're home." "Dean." "Hey, Dean, you hungry?" "You want the crusts cut off?" "Yeah, I..." "I'd love that." "Mom?" "I guess it's not your memory, Sam." "Sorry." "Dean, uh, we should... go." "Keep looking for the road." "I know." "Just... just give me a minute, okay?" " Dean" " Sam, please." "One minute." "Hello?" "No, John." "We're not having this conversation again." "Time to think about what?" "You've two boys at home." "I remember this." "Mom and Dad were fighting, and then he moved out for a couple days." "Dad always said they had the perfect marriage." "It wasn't perfect until after she died." "Fine, then don't." "There's nothing more to talk about." "What happens next?" "It's okay, Mom." "Dad still loves you." "I love you, too." "I'll never leave you." "You... are my little angel." "How 'bout some pie?" "Okay." "What?" "I just never realized how long you've been cleaning up Dad's messes." "Whatever." "Let's keep moving." "I've seen this somewhere before." "Where?" "Where are we?" "No way." "Bones!" "Hey, come here!" "Come here!" "Hey!" "Bones?" "Yeah." "Bones was my dog." "Your... your dog?" "Yeah." "Is this Flagstaff?" "Yeah." "Hey, boy!" " This is a good memory for you?" " Yeah!" "I mean, I was on my own for two weeks." "I lived off of, Funyuns and Mr. Pibb." "Wow." "What?" "You don't remember, do you?" "You ran away on my watch." "I looked everywhere for you." "I thought you were dead, and when Dad came home..." "Dean, look..." "I'm sorry." "I-I never thought about it like that." "Forget it." "Let's roll." "Stay." "Bonesy, stay." "What memory is this?" "No idea." "All right." "Come on." "Dean!" "Road, God." "Remember?" "Wait a minute, wait a minute." "This... this is the night you ditched us for Stanford, isn't it?" "This is your idea of heaven?" "Wow!" "This was, like, one of the worst nights of my life." "I can't control this stuff." "Seriously?" "This is a happy memory for you?" "I don't know." "I mean, I was on my own." "I finally got away from Dad." "Yeah, he wasn't the only one you got away from." "Dean, I'm sorry." "I-I just..." "Oh, I know... y-you didn't think of it like that." " Dean" " Come on!" "Your heaven is somebody else's Thanks-giving, okay?" "It's bailing on your family." "What do you want me to say?" "Look, man..." "I never got the crusts cut off my PBJ." "I..." "I-I just don't look at family the way you do." "Yeah, but I'm your family." " I know" " We're supposed to be a team." "It's supposed to be you and me against the world, right?" "Dean... it is." "Is it?" "Go!" "Go!" "Go!" "Wow!" "Running from angels... on foot... in heaven." "With out of the box thinking like that," "I'm surprised you boys haven't stopped the Apocalypse already." "Guys, what's the problem?" "I just want to send you back to earth." "That's all." "I mean, that is, after I tear you a cosmos of new ones." "You're on my turf now, boys." "and by the time I'm through with you, you're gonna be begging to say, "yes."" "Guys, come on." "You can run, but you can't run." "Shhh..." "Hurry, this way!" "Wait... who are you?" "Buenos dias, bitches." "Ash?" "Welcome to my blue heaven." "My God, the road house." "It even smells the same." "Bud, blood, and beer nuts... it's the best smell in the world." "How 'bout a cold one?" "Up here, no hangover." "So..." "I mean, no offence... how's a dirt-bag like me end up in a place like this?" "I been saved, man." "I was my congregation's number-one snake handler." "A-and you said this was your heaven?" "Yep." "My own... personal." "And when the angels jumped us, we were..." "In your heaven." "So there are two heavens?" "No, more like 100 billion." "So, no worries." "It'll take them angel boys a minute to catch up." "What..." "See, you got to stop thinking of heaven as one place." "It's more like a butt-load of places all crammed together." "Like Disneyland, except without all the anti-Semitism." "Disneyland?" "Yeah, see, you got Winchesterland," "Ashland... a whole mess of everybody-else-lands." "Put 'em all together... heaven, right?" "At the centre of it all is the magic kingdom..." "The garden." "So everybody gets a little slice of paradise?" "Pretty much." "Few people share, special cases, what not." "What do you mean, "Special"?" "Oh, you know, like... soul mates." "Anyways... most people can't leave their own private Idahos." "But you ain't most people." "Nope." "They ain't got my skills." "Hell, I have been all over." "Johnny Cash, Andre the giant..." "Einstein." "Sam, that man can mix a White Russian." "Hell, the other day, I found Mallanaga Vatsyayana." "Who?" "Wrote "The Kamasutra."" "That boy's heaven... oh, sweaty, confusing." "All this from a guy who used to sleep on a pool table." "Yeah, now that I'm dead, I'm livin', man..." "A whole lot more." "So, how'd you find us?" "I rigged up my very own... holy rollin' police scanner." "That's angels, blabbing' enochian, okay?" "I'm fluent." "I heard that you were up." "Course I had to come find you... again." "Again?" "This ain't the first time you been here." "I mean, you boys die more than anyone I have ever met." "Really?" "Ah, yeah." "You don't remember." "God!" "Angels... must have windexed your brains." "So, uh, I mean, have you found anybody else?" "Ellen and Jo?" "Ellen and Jo are dead?" "Uh, yeah." "Yeah, a few months now." "I'm sorry." "Mmm..." "Uh, they went down fightin'?" "Yeah... to the end." "Yeah, a lot of good it did." "How about our folks?" "Been lookin' all over for John Winchester." "Mary too." "So far, nada." "I'm sorry." "But, hey, there is somebody who I know for sure wants to jaw with you." "Hold up." "Pamela." " Nice to see you boys again." " Woo!" "So, this is how you get around up here?" "Mm." "More or less." "It's just awesome to finally have an application... a practical application for string theory." "So..." "So..." "That's for getting me killed." "Yeah." "That's... probably less than I deserve." "If it makes you feel any better, we got Ash killed too." "I'm cool with it." "He's cool with it." "So, I mean... are you good?" "I'm good." "Really." "Remember my death scene... gut-shot, coughing blood?" "You told me I was going some place better." " I was lying." " You were right." "My heaven... it is one long show at the meadowlands." "It's amazing." "You should see it." "Yeah." "You don't believe me." "No, I do." "I... it's just, you know... spending eternity trapped in your own little universe while the angels run the show... that's lonely." "You know, that's... that's not nirvana." "That's..." "The Matrix." "I don't know." "Attic's still better than the basement." "Yeah, but... you know this place... it feels real, but it's memorex." "Real is down there." "Yeah, well... close enough." "Look, Dean." "I'm happy." "I'm at peace." "What, you trying to sell me a time-share?" "I mean, what's with the pitch?" "I know that Michael wants to take you out for a test drive." " Pamela" " Just saying." "What happens if you play ball with him... worst case?" "A lot of people die." "And then they come here." "That really so bad?" "Look, maybe... you don't have to fight it so hard." "That's all I'm trying to say." "Hey?" "Found a short cut to the garden." "Oh, yeah!" "All-access pass to the magic kingdom." "Good." "Not good?" "That Zach fella's gonna be watching every road to the garden." "So watch your ass." "And, Dean..." "Yep!" "Just how I imagined." "Gentlemen." "I don't mean to be a downer or anything, but, uh..." "I'm sure I'll see you again soon." "Well, keep a sixer on ice for us." "Yeah." "What the..." "Why are we back home?" "I don't know." "So, what are we gonna do?" "Keep looking for the road again, I guess." "Honey, why are you up?" "Look, I'm..." "I'm..." "I'm sorry." "I love you... but you're not real." "And we don't have time." "Did you have a nightmare?" "Tell me." "I got to go." "Then how about I tell you my nightmare, Dean?" "The night I burned." "Sammy, let's get out of here." "Don't you walk away from me." "I never loved you." "You were my burden." "I was shackled to you." "Look what it got me." "Dean." "The worst was the smell." "The pain, well... what can you say about your skin bubbling off?" "But the smell was so... you know, for a second," "I thought I left a pot roast burning in the oven." "But... it was my meat." "And then finally, I was dead." "The one silver lining... is that at least I was away from you." "Everybody leaves you, Dean." "You noticed?" "Mommy..." "Daddy, even Sam." "You ever ask yourself why?" "Maybe it's not them." "Maybe... it's you." "Easy now kitten." "You did this." "And I'm just getting started." "I mean, guys, did you really think" "You could just sneak past me into mission control?" "You son of a bitch." "You know, I'd say the same thing about you, Sam, but I have actually grown quite fond of your mother." "Or, at least the blessed memory of her." "I think we're gonna be logging a lot of quality time together." "I've discovered she's quite the..." "Milf." "You can gloat all you want, you dick." "You're still bald." "In heaven, I have six wings and four faces, one of which is a lion." "You see this because you're... limited." "Let's brass-tack this, shall we?" "What, are you're gonna ball-gag us until we say "Yes"?" "Huh?" "Yeah, I've heard that tune." "I'm gonna do a lot more than that." "I've cleared my schedule." "Get him up." "Let me tell you something." "I was on the fast track once." "Employee of the month, every month... forever." "I'd walk these halls, and people would avert their eyes!" "I had respect!" "And then they assigned me you." "Now look at me." "I can't close the deal on a couple of pathetic, flannel-wearing maggots?" "Everybody's laughing at me." "And they're right to do it." "So... say yes, don't say yes." "I'm still gonna take it out of your asses." "It's personal now, boys." "And the last person in the history of creation you want as your enemy is me." "And I'll tell you why, Lucifer may be strong, but I'm... petty." "I'm gonna be the angel on your shoulder for the rest of eternity." "Excuse me, sir?" "I'm in a meeting." "I'm sorry." "I need to speak to those two." "Excuse me?" "It's a bad time, I know." "But I'm afraid I have to insist." "You don't get to insist Jack squat." "No, you're right." "But the boss does." "His orders." "You're lying." "Wouldn't lie about this." "Look... fire me, if you want." "Sooner or later, he's gonna come back home." "And you know how he is with that whole "wrath" thing." "This is... heaven's garden?" "It's nice... ish." "I guess." "You see what you want to here." "For some it's God's throne room." "For others it's Eden." "You two, I believe it's the Cleveland Botanical gardens." "You came here on a field trip." "You're Joshua." "I'm Joshua." "So you talk to God?" "Mostly, he talks to me." "Well, umm... we need to speak to him." "It's important." " Where is he?" " On earth." " Doing what?" " I don't know." "Do you know where on earth?" "No, sorry." "We don't exactly speak face-to-face." "I'm sorry, I don't get it..." "God's not talking to nobody, so..." "So why is he talking to me?" "I sometimes think it's because I can sympathize... gardener to gardener." "And between us, I think he gets lonely." "Well, my heart's breaking for him." "Well, can you... at least get him a message for us?" "Actually, he has a message for you." ""Back off."" "What?" "He knows already." "Everything you want to tell him." " But..." " He knows what the angels are doing." "He knows that the Apocalypse has begun." "He just doesn't think it's his problem." "Not his problem?" "God saved you already." "He put you on that plane." "He brought back Castiel." "He granted you salvation in heaven." "And after everything you've done, too." "It's more than his intervened in a long time." "He's finished." "Magic amulet or not, you won't be able to find him." "But he can stop it." "He could stop all of it." "I suppose he could, but he won't." "Why not?" "Why does he allow evil in the first place?" "You could drive yourself nuts asking questions like that." "So he's just gonna sit back and watch the world burn?" "I know how important this was to you, Dean." "I'm sorry." "Well, forget it." "Just another dead-beat Dad with a bunch of excuses, right?" "I'm used to that." "I'll muddle through." "Except you don't know if you can this time." "You can't kill the devil." "And you're losing faith... and yourself, your brother, and now this." "God was your last hope." "I just..." "I wish I could tell you something different." "How do we know you're telling the truth?" "You think that I would lie?" "It's just... you're not exactly the first angel we've met." "I'm rooting for you boys." "I wish I could do more to help you." "I do." "But..." "I just trim the hedges." "So, what now?" "You go home again." "I'm afraid this time won't be like the last." "This time..." "God wants you... to remember." "You all right?" "Define "all right."" "Maybe... maybe Joshua was lying." "I don't think he was, Cass." "I'm sorry." "You son of a bitch." "I believed in..." "I don't need this anymore." "It's worthless." "Cass." "Wait." "We'll find another way." "We can still stop all this, Dean." " How?" "I don't know." "But we'll find it." "You and me." "We'll find it." "Transcript by Scooby Resync by muter"