"Is that your "I can't believe I won" face?" "Yeah." "It's really good." "Thank you." "You want to see mine?" "Uh-huh." "Is that duck face?" "Exactly." "Sweet." "You guys want to see mine?" "Oh, my God." "Are you okay?" "What's in there?" "I don't know." "Sounds like she's drowning." "Honey?" "It's locked." "Come on, honey, let me in." "It's okay." "Sorry -- so sorry." "Stand back." "Kathy bates." "Jimmy?" "Don't look at me." "What's wrong?" "I can't host the show tonight." "Why can't you host the show tonight?" "I got a little Botox." "Is it bad?" "No." "You look beautiful." "I do?" "You look so much better." "So natural." "You look like a real housewife." "Yeah, yeah." "No, I don't." "I look hideous." "I can't host the emmys." "We'll do it!" "Hosting the show." "You look really excited." "Remember what a good job you did the year before last?" "That was a different Jimmy." "Oh." "I hate my face!" "I hate it." "Well, we could punch it back in for you." "Really?" "Yeah, we can punch it back in for you." "Punch it back in?" "Get out there!" "Yeah, or, just get out of here." "Come on!" "Yes." "I am going to host this show." "I am going to host this show until its pregnant." "I am going to host like no one's watching." "And dance like no one's listening." "And I'm going to , like " " I'm sorry I'm late." "Oh!" "You're going to kill it." "Thanks." "Okay." "I'm doing this." "I am going to do this." "You don't have any pants on." "Pants." "Well " " I can't do the show without pants, so -- has anybody got a pair of pants?" "Here." "Take mine." "What are you going to do for pants?" "I'll figure something out." "Go." "Thanks, Ellen." "Thank you!" "They fit great!" "Tonight, live from the Nokia theatre L.A. live, television stars have gathered to celebrate the 64th annual primetime emmy awards." "And now your host, Jimmy kimmel!" "Well, thank you very much." "Hi, everybody." "Welcome to the 64th primetime emmy awards." "You spent ten hours getting ready, you got heat stroke on the red carpet." "You haven't had a carbohydrate in months, but it will all be worth it to find out if the award for best reality show host goes to cat deeley, won't it?" "We are here tonight to honor television, the most popular entertainment medium around the world and the only American product the Chinese haven't figured out how to make." "The television, as we know it, was invented by a 14-year-old" "Idaho farm boy, who was plowing a wheat field, this is true, in rows of parallel lines and it occurred to him that an image could be sliced into rows of parallel lines and he patented that and now thanks to him, we have "Here comes honey boo boo,"" "so -- nice job, dumb ass." "Television is an American institution and, yet, 1 out of every 5 acting nominees tonight is British, which, I don't understand." "I guess we're supposed to reward them because their actors went to the royal Shakespeare academy and ours were discovered at the mall?" "I will admit that "Downton Abbey" is a great show." "So much attention to detail." "Not the kind of show I watch, but it gives you a sense of what it must have been like to grow up in mitt romney's house." "Are any of you voting for mitt romney?" "All right, 40 Republicans and the rest godless liberal homosexu homosexuals." "See, that's why kelsey grammer didn't come tonight." "It's difficult to be a republican in Hollywood." "That's like being a chick-fil-a sandwich on the snack table at "Glee."" "Maybe it's just me, but does it bother anyone else that president Obama said his favorite show is "Homeland?"" "I don't think the president should be watching "Homeland"" "for the same reason I don't think Charlie sheen should watch "Breaking Bad."" "There's so many familiar faces here tonight but I'd like to welcome one of the new ones, Lena Dunham, who is here." "Lena Dunham." "Only 26 years old, this is her first show, already, she's been nominated for acting, writing and directing." "I don't " " I don't have a joke here, I just wanted to make everyone feel bad about themselves." "Lena has a great show on hbo called "Girls."" "Hbo leads all networks with 81 nominations." "Their highly anticipated horse racing drama "Luck" was canceled halfway through the first season." "Oh, boy the way, if you are going to the hbo afterparty, don't eat the sliders." "The show with the most nominations this year is "Mad Men."" "The star of that show, one of the stars, the very handsome jon hamm is with us." "Jon, you gave tremendous performance this year and I, for performance this year and I, for one, am shocked that you did not one, am shocked that you did not win tonight." "Too soon?" "It will be fine." "Look at him." "It was a big year for cable." "For the first time ever, none of the four major networks were nominated in the drama category." "And you can't ignore that." "The academy is sending a clear message." "And the message is, "Show us your boobs."" "But most of all, tonight is a night on which we honor the one thing we in Hollywood love more than anything else." "Ourselves." "You know, that's how the emmys got their name." "M-e." "Me." "Tonight, you will be asked to play your most challenging role yet." "That of an actor who is happy about the success of another actor." "Let's not forget that in a way, all of you are oners tonight." "But in a much more literal way, most of you will be losers." "The important thing is, we get out of here as soon as possible so you can go home and put on your fat pants, okay?" "So, let's get this going." "Poorscemi hasn't eaten in a week." "Let's start things off with comedy!" "One, two, three -- everybody follow the birthday flag." "What did you call me?" "Oh, yes." "You have a long way to go before you are a Jack donagy, but you do have amazing eyes." "Oh, thank you." "Okay." "I'm being told that commander James love is -- look, honey, you have a dynamite shape, but you're going to have to shut up and let a man tell us what's happening there." "Now, is your father or a policeman nearby?" "Whoa!" "A lot of tension in your hips." "Easy does it." "Last guy I let back there had to buy me a ring." "Looks like Keri Russell after she ruined "Felicity."" "Coming!" "Thank God." "You guys are always doing stupid stuff." "Like what?" "Name something." "Cheese!" "And now one with flash." "Cheese." "In what way does my father read gay to you?" "Well, he had a stud in his ear." "He got it on a trip he took with a bunch of his male friends." "I don't like the taste of alcohol." "Nobody likes the taste of alcohol." "We like the affects of alcohol." "Makes you feel tall, good looking and smart." "I am tall, good looking and smart." "Why is my towel still damp?" "It's not your towel." "It's my towel." "That's not your towel." "Your towel is the red one." "I've never used that." "I do use that one every single day." "Oh, gosh." "People won't equate you with a natural disaster." "Really?" "Because I've met some people, real people and a lot of people are idiots." "Yeah!" "Oh." "Call an ambulance!" "And scene." "Comedy." "They are both emmy nominees tonight." "Here to present the first of 800 awards this evening, please welcome Amy poehler and Louis c.K." "Thank you." "We're very excited to be here." "Because we are the first presenters of the evening." "And everyone knows that the first precenters "set the tone"" "and the potential in this moment is amazing." "So, what we do or say could make a real difference." "We could radiate love to everyone in this room and, in a y,o th we could do something that would make people say, not only, wow, but thank you." "Right?" "What?" "You want to help me out here, or?" "You look really nice." "No." "You ruined it." "I'm sorry." "No." "You look really nice." "Don't -- you look really nice." "Stop." "The nominees for outstanding supporting actor in a comedy series are." "Ed O'Neill, "Modern Family."" "Jesse Tyler ferguson, "Modern Family."" "Ty burrell, "Modern Family."" "Eric stonestreet, "Modern Family."" "Max greenfield, "New Girl."" "Bill hader, "Saturday Night Live."" "And the emmy goes to " " Eric stonestreet, "Modern Family."" "This is the second emmy win and third consecutive nomination for Eric stonestreet." "Born and raised in Kansas City, he helped raise pigs as a young man." "Oh, wow." "Thank you very much." "This is amazing." "Ty, ed, Jesse, Max, bill, I love you all." "I wouldn't be standing here without Jesse Tyler ferguson." "There is no cam without Mitch." "We're only Mitch and cam and you know that and it's such an honor to know you, I love you so much, I am proud to call you my friend." "I love who you are as a person." "We get the awesome opportunity to play these two characters on" "TV and show America and the world what a loving couple we can be just like everybody else and it's an honor to do that." "I never knew I'd be on TV as a gay man, but I love the pictures of harir hairy chests you guys sending me." "It's really amazing." "Thank you for those." "My mom and dad, of course, again, my friends, my family, my again, my friends, my family, my long time manager Steve, my -- long time manager Steve, my -- all the people, Chris and" "Stephen for giving me the best job ever." "So cool." "I just want to share this with every actor out there who has got an audition tomorrow at 5:00 in Santa Monica." "I went to every one of them." "I never missed one and I'm proof that if you do that and stick to your craft and be motivated and positive, you can stand up here in front of all you beautiful people, so, thank you very much." "Thank you." "Next, find out if emmy voters will reward kristen wiig with an emmy for her farewell year on "Saturday Night Live."" "No, no!" "The 64th primetime emmy awards on abc brought to you by -- audi." "Well, hello there." "By the way -- if those of you at home are wonder, what goes on during the commercial breaks, try to imagine all your favorite television stars in one room looking at their phones and ignoring each other." "Our next presenters are white people, very white people, in fact." "Please welcome emmy nominees Jim Parsons and zooey deschanel." "One of the many things zooey and I were discussing backstage before our entrance was how people often confuse who we really are with our characters." "It's true." "In fact, I base my character, Jess, on the real Jim -- someone quirky, bubbly and -- -- perky and te." "Yeah." "And I base Sheldon on zooey, who is one of L.A.'s few theoretical physics hobbyists." "You should check out her blog on neutrinos." "Very well written." "Thank you." "You're welcome." "As are these comedies." "We asked the nominees for writing in a comedy series, "how writing in a comedy series, "how would your childhood teachers would your childhood teachers describe you?"" "I guess -- you're up against a lot of stars, I think it's best if you play you." "Okay." "A black typhoon of comedy." "My childhood teachers would describe me as inquisitive, I think my high school teachers w." "I'm sorry, but I don't understand the tone of this." "I don't, either." "I don't know how to answer these questions." "Are we supposed to make jokes or serious?" "We're going to lose either way." "Is Louis doing this?" "No way he is." "And the emmy goes to -- Louis c.K., "Louie."" "This is the second emmy win and 16th nomination for Louis c.K." "Born in Washington, D.C." "Ah -- thank you very much." "Thank you." "Well, I won an emmy just now, so -- ah " " I " " I really want to thank John langraf who runs fx, who gave me the show." "I want to thank my producer and my manager and friend and I'm just going to thank people." "I want to thank Pamela adelon who helped me write everything on the show and I want to thank my kids, Mary and kitty, your daddy won an emmy." "Thank you very much." "Thank you." "That's weird." "Your names are Mary and kitty, isn't it?" "Nicknames." "TV has changed so much over the years." "Have you guys ever wondered what your show would have been like before cable?" "Not really." "No." "Work with me here." "Oh." "Yes!" "I would wonder what our shows would have been like before cable." ""The breaking bad show."" "Starring Bryan cranston." "With Aaron Paul." "Also starring don knotts." "Brought to you by meth." "It was a simpler time." "Our next presenters left their homes to be here tonight, so, let's give an extra warm welcome to jon cryer and Kat Dennings." "Physical comedy, mockumentary, dark comedy, spoof." "The women nominated for supporting actress in a comedy, herald from different genres." "But they all have one thing in common -- they are seriously talented." "Here are the nominees." "Mayim bialik, "the big bang theory."" "The late Kathryn joosten, "desperate housewives."" "Julie bowen, "modern family."" "Sofia vergara, "modern family."" "Merritt wever, "nurse Jackie."" "Kristen wiig, "Saturday night live."" "And the emmy goes to " " Julie bowen." "Julie bowen was raised in Baltimore, where her love of acting grew from doing plays with her sisters in her backyard." "This is her second win in this category." "Oh, that's my Sofia." "God bless you." "Thank you so much to anybody that voted for me for this." "This is an embarrassment of riches." "My job really amounts to me falling down and making faces while wearing lipstick and nipple covers." "And the fact that that could be translated at any time into an award or something artful is really a testament to the people that hired me, Chris, Steve, thank you for creating this show." "To the people who edit around me, with great regularity and make it look like I have a clue what I'm doing, to our writers, who write things much better." "The nipple covers." "To the sensors at abc for insisting upon nipple covers." "In any case, I'm just so lucky to work with a cast and a crew as talented as we have." "Sofia -- man." "I know you're younger than me but I want to be you when I grow up." "I am so incredibly honored to be mentioned in the same breath with you." "Most of you, thank you, dear husband." "And thank you to my sisters who are taking care of our children when we're not around to do it." "I'm so lucky, I'm blown away." "Thank you so much." "Send your congratulations to Julie bowen or any of tonight's winners on Twitter by using the hash tag emmy congrats no one has won three consecutive emmys for lead actor in a comedy series since Michael j." "Fox in "family ties."" "Will "big bang theory's"" "Jim Parsons equal that record with his third straight emmy win tonight?" "Why I don't I start wearing birkenstocks and seeking validation of my opinion by asking, "can you dig it?"" "The 64th primetime emmy awards on abc brought to you by -- check out backstage photos of the presenters at" "Please welcome Matthew Perry." "Hello." "I am here to announce the winners for guest actor and actress in a comedy." "Now, the winners were already announced last Saturday." "So when the academy asked me to, you know, announce them again, I you know, announce them again, I first thought, why would I do first thought, why would I do that?" "They've already been announced." "But then, I remembered " " I like attention." "Thank you, everybody." "Thanks." "Here were the nominees -- the nominees for guest actress in a comedy series we -- Elizabeth banks, "30 rock."" "Kathy bates, "two and a half men."" "Margaret Cho, "30 rock."" "Dot-Marie Jones, "glee."" "Melissa McCarthy, "Saturday night live."" "Maya Rudolph, "Saturday night live."" "And the nominees for guest actor in a comedy series were -- will arnett, "30 rock."" "Bobby cannavale, "nurse Jackie."" "Jimmy fallon, "Saturday night live."" "Michael j." "Fox, "curb your enthusiasm."" "Greg kinnear, "modern family."" "Jon hamm, "30 rock."" "The emmys were won by Kathy bates and Jimmy fallon and it's my pleasure to introduce them to present the next award." "Thank you." "Kathy and I are here to present the emmy for best comedy direction." "This year, we wanted to know the answer to the question," ""what kinds of people make the best comedy directors?"" "Jewish men?" "Great comedy dirtor has to have a great sense of humor." "How is that funny?" "Jews." "People with a strong supportive laugh." "I don't know." "Mrs. Robinson, you're trying to seduce me." "Don't be afraid to give an actor suggestions." "Mrs. Robinson, you're trying to seduce me." "See?" "And the emmy goes to " " Steve lebitan, "modern family."" "This is the fourth emmy win and sixth nomination for Steve." "He previously won emmys for writing and producing "modern fami family."" "Wow, that is shocking." "First of all, I want to thank me for hiring me as a director when no one else would." "I wouldn't be standing here without my faith in me." "I'd like to thank Jim, Jeff, for I'd like to thank Jim, Jeff, for all your support on stage." "All your support on stage." "I want to thank Jay, Dan fisher for all their support in life." "My wife krista for being the best decision that I ever made." "Mostly, I'd like to thank our amazing cast and our incredible writers, this time, led by Abraham, who wrote this amazing script." "They're the best." "And I was complimenting a guest director recently on a job that he did and he said, you know, with your cast, and your crew, and your writers, a complete idiot could direct a great episode of "modern family" and I think we've proven that here tonight." "Thank you." "It may sound corny, but our show really is like a family." "Yeah." "It's crazy how much I adore everyone in this cast." "Really, everyone?" "Jesse, come on." "What's going on here?" "Nothing." "I know it's not a table read, because all of you showed up." "She's a monster." "Can you get to makeup?" "Honey, I just came from makeup." "Really?" "Yikes." "Ty, they're ready for you." "Thanks, honey." "Hey, what's up -- whoa!" "Ty!" "Are you okay?" "You're sick." "You're next." "You look so pretty today." "Can somebody tell me what the heck she's saying?" "I " " I'm sorry, can we cut?" "Aubrey?" "I can hear you chewing." "What are you eating?" "Chicken sandwich with two pickles." "Wait, did you get that where I think you got it?" "Yep." "This is what I'm going to eat at my wedding." "What are you going to eat at your wedding?" "She knows what she's doing." "We've replaced lily before." "No one will notice." "I don't know." "I think you're underestimating the audience." "They think I'm married to Sofia vergara." "They'll believe anything." "I'm a middle aged man." "Frankly, this thing feels a little bit " " I'm in." "They're ready for you." "Yeah." "See you Monday." "Lily." "I like the sound of that." "Oh!" "Lily!" "Tell you what, that's -- that video would make a great psa for adoption." "Our next two presenters are mindy kaling and Melissa McCarthy." "Please welcome mindy kaling and Melissa McCarthy." "The nominees for outstanding lead actor in a comedy series are all funny men, but there's something else that keeps us coming back for more." "Like Alec Baldwin, a living legend." "And with -- he's got great chest hair, so " " Jim Parsons, elegant and smart." "And smooth like a baby." "That's what you are." "Jon cryer, the heart and soul of everything he's been in." "God, I wore out that poster of duckie." "Louis c.K., you brought something new to comedy series." "And there'something about that sweet, sweet, angry ginger baby skin." "I like it." "Larry David " " I don't mind bald." "Just think about it." "And don cheadle." "Tonight's the night, cheadle." "I think I feel it, you feel it, America feels it." "So -- the nominees are -- don cheadle, "house of lies."" "Louis c.K., "Louie."" "Jim Parsons, "big bang theory."" "Jon cryer, "two and a half men."" "Larry David, "curb your enthusiasm."" "Alec Baldwin, "30 rock."" "And the emmy goes to -- jon cryer, "two and a half men."" "This is the second emmy win and seven consecutive nomination for native new yorker jon cryer." "Both emmy wins are for his performance on "two and a half men."" "Okay, okay." "Okay." "Don't panic, people." "Something has clearly gone terribly wrong." "Ah " " I " " I'm stunned." "Ah -- okay, I didn't actually win this." "This did not just happen." "I'm in an amazing category with amazing people who I worship and admire." "You guys are amazing." "I -- it's been an incredible journey on this show." "I want to thank Chuck lorre and Lee aaronson for creating ts character." "I want to thank our crew on the show." "I want to thank my wife and my -- and my son and my daughter, Charlie and Daisy." "And I -- this is crazy." "Thank you guys." "Good night." "Send your congratulations to jon cryer or any of tonight's winners on Twitter, using the hash tag emmy congrats." "Amy poehler has received seven emmy nominations over the last five years." "Will this year mark her first emmy win?" "I was in favor of closing the border bookstore." "Not the border to Mexico." "Find out when we continue on abc." "Everyone is rushing back to their seats." "Hey, I don't want to jinx it, but so far, we've had a winner in every category." "Our next giver-outer is an exceptionally funny man." "He came all the way from new York to be here tonight, which I think shows a lot of enthusiasm." "Please welcome Stephen colbert." "Thank you, ladies and gentlemen." "It is my honor tonight to present the emmy for lead actress in a comedy series." "But before I do so, this is an election year and we've heard a lot this year about the war on women." "And I think that is shameful and whatever your political strife, whoever wins this election, I think we can all hope this is the last year this happens." "We should not have a war on women." "We should be celebrating women." "Women are wonderful." "Let's give it up." "For the most part, obviously." "Some women are -- some women are awful." "Really good ones like mother Teresa, you got murderers and stuff." "Wouldn't be fair to lump them all together." "But the thing is, vast majority of women are lovely people." "For unstance, the seven women nominated in this category." "Five of them are just great." "Just really the top." "And the other two -- and I'm told I'm out of time." "Okay." "And the nominees are -- Lena Dunham, "girls."" "Melissa McCarthy, "Mike" "Molly."" "Zooey deschanel, "new girl."" "Edie falco, "nurse Jackie."" "Amy poehler, "parks and recreation."" "Tina fey, "30 rock."" "Julia Louis-Dreyfus, "veep."" "And the emmy goes to -- oh!" "It's one of the nice ones." "Julia Julia Louis-Dreyfus." "Born in New York city, Julia began her career as a cast member of "Saturday night live."" "This is her third career emmy." "Thank you so -- so ch, I'm " " I'm a bit overwhelmed, oh" "I'm " " I'm a bit overwhelmed, oh my God." "My God." "First of all, I would like to thank nbc, "parks and rec," my beautiful boys, Archie and Abel, ah -- what?" "Ah, we -- so, totally fine." "Totally fine." "Um -- you know, it is, really, in fact, tremendous to be in the same category with these women who are so talented and powerful and funny and know what they're doing, so let me start by saying that." "At the same time, it's a bit mystifying to me, because people say that this show is a comedy and, yet, I don't see anything funny about me being vice President of the United States." "Despite that, I would like to thank the genius behind this show, Armando." "And Frank and Simon and Tony roach and Chris and all of our wonderful friends at hbo, who have been extraordinarily supportive of our show." "Our cast, Tony, Max Walsh, Anna, reid Scott, unbelievable." "I'd also like to thank Mike rosenfell and Judy hufflin and dear Franks, of course, to my lovely boys, Brad, Henry and" "Charlie and one last thing written here, I'm so sorry, it says, lastly, isn't it a shame that Amy poehler didn't win." "What?" "One of the best auditions I have ever heard in my life." "Now it's time for you to make a good decision." "And I love you, my son." "We're here for a reason and we must make the best of it, every single day." "You're smart, you're slick." "You're greedy." "And it offensive." "And I can't wait to be your friend and partner." "Is this your school lunch?" "Does anyone know what that is?" "Why can't we put better food on the plates?" "We're going to build seven houses for seven families in seven days." "Conservative estimate, $15,000 to $20,000." "No!" "I'm asking you if this is how it's going to be for the next two days because I will not have it." "If you can't be my friend, please don't be my enemy." "I have an emergency." "This is a severe situation." "End of civilization." "Eighth person voted outle of "saw vie v "survivor."" "The winner of "the amazing race."" "The winner of "American idol."" "The winner of "survivor South pacific."" "Yes!" "You are "top chef."" "Jermaine Paul." "Please welcome James van der beek and Damon wayans, Jr." "Damon and I decided that instead of doing some little scripted bit of comedy, we're going to get right to the information that reality fans really want to hear." "Yes." "The score for this football game is, the patriots are leading the ravens, 3-0, in the first quarter." "Thank you." "You're very welcome." "And the nominees for outstanding reality competition program are " ""the amazing race."" ""Dancing with the stars."" ""Project runway."" ""So you think you can dance."" ""Top chef."" ""The voice."" "And the emmy goes to -- "the amazing race."" ""The amazing race"" "has seven nominations this year." "Accepting the emmy on behalf of the team is Bertram van munster." "Wow." "Here we go." "Thank you, academy." "Thank you CBS, thank you all the phenomenal people that work for us around the world." "Just an extraordinary accomplishment." "All these people that work with us, all the time." "There's over 3,000 people." "Some of them have never seen a television camera." "It's not that easy to necessary work with them." "And the extraordinary crew we have here, Phil, of course, with -- our hero now, so, thank you very much." "I'm surprised you like the emmys, Sheldon." "I don't." "In my experience, when that many popular people get together in one place, the next thing that happens is the quarterback and prom king are holding my head in the toilet." "Well, they're not all popular." "The writers are there, too." "He only watches it to see the accountants." "What?" "Aren't those the guys who just add up the votes?" "Just add up the votes?" "Penny, these men and women are mathematicians." "They are intellectual heirs of Pythagoras, euclid and the count from sesame street." "It's two!" "Two votes for "game of thrones."" "Ha, ha, ha!" "Guess I never thought about it like that." "Nobody has." "Ladies and gentlemen, the -- shh!" "Here they come!" "Look who it is." "Andy sale." "I met him once." "As certified public accountants go, he's actually very down to earth." "Oh, and straight out of Belgium, it's mieke velghe!" "In the cpa fanclub, we call her "the mental muscles from brussels."" "Oh yeah!" "It's John "the human spreadsheet" nendick." "It's good to see him back in action after he blew out his clicking finger during a powerpoint presentation." "You're a hero, John!" "Cpa!" "Ladies and gentlemen, Seth macfarlane." "For outstanding reality show host, there have been so many -- let's see, there's -- Brian dunkleman -- what?" "Oh, the Mike's over there." "This is what happens when you don't come to rehearsal." "That's going to be on YouTube." "I'm " " I'm here to present the emmy -- oh, that's so much better." "For outstandening reality show host." "There have been so many memorable ones, let's see." "There's Brian dunkleman." "Right?" "There's rodger lodge from "blind date."" "And Joey greco, the guy who got stabbed on "cheaters."" "That's all I can think of." "What a proud lineage of winner will join tonight." "Now, for those of you who do not win this category, don't worry." "You will have another opportunity when we put the remaining four of you in a house together on an island and force you to team up in a race around the globe to see who can lose the most weight." "The winner will get signed to a record deal and has a chance to break dance their way into the heart of Donald trump Jr." "The nominees for outstanding reality host are " " Phil keoghan, "the amazing race."" "Ryan seacrest, "American idol."" "Betty white, "Betty white's off their rockers."" "Tom bergeron, "dancing with the stars."" "Cat deeley, "so you think you can dance."" "And the emmy goes to -- tom bergeron, "dancing with the stars."" "This is the first primetime emmy win for tom bergeron and his fifth consecutive nomination as host." "Wow!" "Thank you." "This is -- this is -- this is particular ly satisfying becaus" "Betty white always kicks my ass in our mixed martial arts class." "I want to thank Jeff Probst for not being nominated." "That helped." "I want to thank my family, most of them know who they are." "And -- especially I want to thank Conrad green and everybody at "dancing with the stars."" "It is a pleasure and a privilege to be apart of that team and given that our all-stars season premieres tomorrow, this is the icing on a very sweet cake." "Thank you very much." "When there's so much good can be done " " I forbid it." "We will make the decision." "Shall we discuss your shooting?" "I can think of more pleasant topics." "You're not curious who wants you dead?" "I'm curious who shot me." "It keeps your hands clean at the expense -- at the expense of who?" "My boss." "The boss, who you are sleeping with." "There's nothing between us, if that's the -- of course that's the issue." "Does it make more sense so I can actually avoid jail time?" "Why are you risking destying yourself?" "There's no risk." "You'll do the honest thing." "You'll lie." "You want it so bad." "I don't want it." "I don't want you." "All you get to do is watch." "Sorry I'm late." "I've come to give you a gift." "We want nothing from you." "I shall destroy your happiness if it is the last thing I do." "Did you spy on me?" "You are a spy, right?" "An American prisoner of war is coming to carry out an attack." "The CIA thinks I'm working for Al qaeda?" "I think you're working for Al qaeda." "I did everything I could." "So, what are you saying?" "You're fired." "Effective immediately." "You're no longer a doctor at Seattle grey." "Get down!" "You'd rather sell drugs than get help." "You are in over your head." "That's the truth." "I am no in danger." "I am the danger." "Let's do this." "Go, go, go!" "Are." "So what is it going to be?" "You die right here." "They're not people." "They're dead!" "If you want to live, if you want to survive, you got to fight for it." "Right here, right now." "That was something." "Wow." "I got to get out less." "Our next presenter has a baby in her, but she will be presenting on her own because that baby cannot yet read." "Please welcome expectant emmy nominee, Claire danes." "The characters these actors play are idiosyncratic and unconventional, but through their detailed and in-depth portrayals, they become people we can all relate to." "Here are the nominees for supporting actor in a drama series." "Jim Carter, "downton abbey."" "Brendan coyle, "downton abbey."" "Peter dinklage, "game of thrones."" "Giancarlo esposito, "breaking bad."" "Jared Harris, "mad men."" "Aaron Paul, "breaking bad."" "And the emmy goes to -- Aaron Paul, "breaking bad."" "Born in Idaho, Aaron Paul worked as an Usher in a movie theater before he became an actor." "This is his second emmy win and third nomination." "Oh, my God." "Um " " I truly didn't even attempt to prepare a speech." "I cannot believe I'm standing on this stage let alone just in this room." "Giancarlo esposito, I am so honored to share this category with you and the rest of the other brilliant actors." "Vince, gilligan, thank you so much, and, the rest of the writers, thank you so much for not killing me off." "That was the plan." "My parents, thank you so much for taking me out of the house and telling me to chase this dream and I can't believe it, you know, I'm from Idaho and I moved out here, you know, we're" "in a room full of people just chasing our dreams and so, thank chasing our dreams and so, thank you, Hollywood, for allowing me you, Hollywood, for allowing me to be apart of your group." "My manager, I love you so much and last but certainly not least, my beautiful, most inspiring fiance, Lauren." "Thank you so much for looking at me the way you do." "You truly have saved me." "Thank you, thank you, thank you." "Will the "hatfields  mccoys," with 16 emmy nominations, win outstanding miniseries or movie?" "He steps in or I will." "The 64th primetime emmy awards on abc brought to you by -- audi." "Are you hanging in there?" "Everybody all right?" "Thank you." "All right, so, here's what I want to do." "I would like the people who are at home watching right now to help me pull a big prank on the people who are not watching." "First, I need a volunteer." "Will anybody?" "Perfect." "Tracy Morgan." "Tracy, come on up here." "Tracy Morgan, everybody." "Thank you, Tracy." "Now, here's what we're going to do." "I want everyone in the audience here tonight -- hello." "And everyone at home to go on Facebook or Twitter right now and here's what I want you to post." "Post "oh, my God, Tracy Morgan just passed out on stage at the emmys." "Turn abc on now."" "Okay?" "Do that right away." ""Oh my God --" say omg." "Kids like that." ""Tracy Morgan just passed out at the emmys." "Turn abc on now."" "We're on a five-second delay before this explodes." "I want you to lay down on the stage here." "All right, okay." "We have to do this fast, though." "Hold my nunchaku." "Okay." "Put your head right there." "I hope these are nunchaku." "All right." "And just lie there, just lie there for about, I don't know, ten minutes or so -- okay." "And when people tune in they'll seal this on the stage." "All right." "Let's do it." "Wonderful." "This will be fun." "Yeah." "Our next presenters have a new show that they are both in and so it makes total sense that they are here together." "Please welcome Connie britton and Hayden Panettiere." "To create a great television series, you need to capture the imagination of the viewing public -- what is he doing?" "You think he's okay?" "You okay?" "Tracy?" "He'll be fine." "Okay." "So, we asked the nominees for writing in a drama series, how do you handle writer's block?" "Not very well, apparently." "I think I just bang on and hopes something would dribble out." "You know, and then Chuck out the bad stuff." "How do we handle writer's block?" "Nothing yet." "What if don has a really big drink?" "How do I handle writer's block?" "You have writer's block?" "Sometimes." "You're fid." "And the emmy goes to -- "homeland."" "Accepting the emmy for the writing team is Alex gansa." "They said only one of us could talk." "But writing partners don't do that." "I wouldn't be here without Howard." "And I wouldn't be here without Alex." "30 years ago, we drove out to L.A. together." "And we were writing partners for eight years and then we split up." "And 15 years later, we got back together." "And "homeland" the result of that." "We have a lot of people to thank." "Monumental thanks to John Wilder who gave us our first big break." "We want to thank les moonves, Matt blank, Gary levine, the entire team at showtime." "Thanks to Dana waldon, Gary Newman." "Oh, my God." "Rick rosen!" "And gideon." "Michael quest,lewis, Claire danes." "And our great wives!" "Wives!" "We love you!" "And now, here are the nominees for outstanding supporting actress in a drama." "They are " " Christine baranski, "the good wife."" "Anna gunn, "breaking bad."" "Joanne froggatt, "downton abbey."" "Christina Hendricks, "mad men."" "Archie panjabi, "the good wife."" "Maggie Smith, "downton abbey."" "And the emmy goes to " " Maggie Smith, "downton abbey."" "Maggie couldn't be here tonight, so we accept this award on her behalf." "With eight career nominations, jon hamm has never won an emmy." "Nominated again for lead actor in a drama, will tonight be his night?" "You don't want most of it." "You want all of it." "And I won't stop until you get all of it." "Find out, when the emmy awards continue on abc." "Okay, we have our situation resolved and everything should be fine from here on out -- wait a minute." "Just exhaustion." "Tell kerry Washington I'm all right." "Can I get my nunchaku back?" "Next up, he is an emmy nominee tonight for his portrayal of a drug lord slash chicken magnate." "He brought a bucket for everyone." "Please welcome giancarlo esposito." "Last week, emmys were awarded for guest actor and actress in a drama series." "Here were the nominees." "The nominees for guest actress in a drama series were " "Joan cusack, "shameless"" "Loretta devine, "grey's anatomy"" "Julia ormond, "mad men"" "Martha plimpton, "the good wife"" "Jean smart, "Harry's law"" "uma thurman, "smash"" "and, the nominees for guest actor in a drama series were " "Dylan Baker, "the good wife"" "Jeremy Davies, "justified"" "Ben feldman, "mad men"" "Michael j." "Fox, "the good wife"" "mark margolis, "breaking bad"" "Jason ritter, "parenthood"" "the emmys went to Jeremy Davies and Martha plimpton." "Who, as in our emmy tradition, will now present our next award." "Overly dramatic, melodramatic, drama queen." "Words that describe many people we know in this business." "But are those good qualities if you're in the director's hot seat?" "We asked this year's nominees for directing in a drama series, are you a dramatic person?" "No, no, no!" "No." "I leave that to the actors." "I work a lot with dramatic people." "Is that the same thing?" "Am I a dramatic person?" "I'm not sure -- ." "What are you doing?" "Um -- and the emmy goes to " " Tim van patten, "boardwalk empire."" "Tim couldn't be here tonight, so Tim couldn't be here tonight, so we accept this award on his we accept this award on his behalf." "Thank you." "The emmys are a time to celebrate and they are also a time to honor some of the greats that are no longer with us." "But I think it is a shame that we wait until after our legends pass." "So, tonight, I would like to remember the life and work of someone all of us, someone every person in this room admires, respects, and loves." "?" "Baby you lit up our world like nobody else the way that you flipped your hair got us overwhelmed ?" "?" "But when you smiled at the ground it wasn't hard to tell you didn't know oh oh you didn't know you were beautiful ?" "Well, hello, o." "♪If you could see ♪" "♪What I could see ♪" "♪You'd understand why I wanted you so desperately ♪" "?" "When I looked at you I couldn't believe you didn't know oh oh, you didn't know you were beautiful ?" "♪Oh oh ♪" "♪I didn't know I was beautiful ♪" "♪Oh oh ♪" "♪That's what makes you beautiful ♪" "And I would like to apologize to Matt Damon, we ran out of time." "♪Sorry Matt Damon ♪" "I will be missed." "Josh groban, everyone." "Please welcome two-time emmy winner julianna margulies." "Their characters are men who scare us, confuse us, seduce us and intimidate us." "Sounds like my kind of party." "But the men who inhabit these roles never fail to thmesmerize and impress us with their performances." "They are the nominees for outstanding lead actor in a drama series." "Hugh bonneville, "downton abbey"" "Steve buscemi, "boardwalk empire"" "Bryan cranston, "breaking ba Michael c." "Hall, "Dexter"" "jon hamm, "mad men"" "Damian Lewis, "homeland"" "and the emmy goes to " " Damian Lewis." "This is the first emmy win and nomination for" "Damian Lewis, who was born in St. Johns woods, London." "Um, hello, everybody." "I " " I'm Damian Lewis, I'm one of those pesky brits." "Apologies." "I don't really believe in judges art." "But I thought I'd show up just in case." "Turned out all right." "What an extraordinary honor to be in a category with these golden actors, setting a gold standard in acting in a golden age of TV." "Can we give them a round of applause, please?" "I'd like to say, very quick thank yous all around." "Alex and Howard for inviting me on this incredible journey." "Michael quest for being part of that persuasion team." "Everyone at fox, everybody at showtime." "The cast that I work with, who are delightful and enjoyable to dine with." "But especially the two ladies." "You are both beautiful." "It's enjoyable working with both of you, every minute of it." "Biggest thank you of all to the leading lady in my life, Helen," "I adore you darling." "Thank you for being here." "My two children at home, thought my two children at home, thought daddy had been nominated for an daddy had been nominated for an Emma." "Well -- daddy just won an Emma." "Thank you." "Send your congratulations to Damian Lewis or any of tonight's winners on Twitter by using the hash tag emmy congrats." "Claire danes received her first emmy nomination when she was just 16 years old." "Will she win for lead actress in a drama series tonight?" "I missed something once before." "I won't " " I can't let that happen again." "The emmy awards continue here on abc." "Well, hello, everyone." "Everybody okay?" "Everything all right?" "I think I hear some stomachs rumbling." "Would anyone like to trade an emmy for a hot pocket?" "Our next presenters are here tonight." "Please welcome Tina fey and jon hamm." "This year's nominees for lead actress in a drama series play a dazzling variety of roles." "From a brilliant young ad exec -- -- to an invisible shrimp trucker." "A bi-polar c.I.A. Officer -- -- and a shoe brush lady of manure." "What are you doing?" "I forgot my glasses." "I can't see the thing -- you have to do better." "A feisty patent lawyer -- and another lawyer person." "Picture of a house?" "No." "The normals for outside led actress in a deal are " " Claire danes, "homeland"" "I'm talking them all out." "That is what's coming." "We've been here for days now." "It's not the president's helicopter." "It's actual marines." "Brody and roker." "They are marine one and marine two." "They are working together." "They must be." "Kathy bates, "Harry's law."" "I can think nothing more profoundly unfair." "This is wrong." "It's wrong." "And we need to fix it today." "Julianna margulies, "the good wife."" "I don't want you in here, Jackie." "I don't want you going through my things." "I don't want you in my computer." "You're hurting your children." "I might be." "But that's between me and them and I would never take your word for it." "Michelle dockery, "downton abbey."" "Why?" "The reason I really couldn't bear." "Elisabeth moss, "mad men."" "It's young and it's beautiful." "And no one else is going to figure out how to say that about beans." "Glenn close, "damages."" "I have given you everything you asked for." "You are an ungrateful child." "And you are in for a rude awakening." "And the emmy goes to " " Claire danes." "This is the second emmy win and third nomination for New York City native Claire danes." "Whoa." "Um, well, I have to start by thank our writers, who were unsay moan usely cut off." "Our team of writers for taking the drama to the brink and just a little bit beyond." "To gideon, for coming up with this great conceit." "To our director extraordinary for ensuring that this very heightened show is always grounded and honest and raw." "Michael for keeping the show chugging." "Our cast, Damian, who did the magic trick of turning a villain into someone so human and someone we feel so deeply about." "Mandy patinkin, holla." "Mandy is one of the most beautiful, generous, loving actors I've ever come across." "The entire cast is just uniformly sort of shamelessly talented and committed." "I'm so proud to be in their company." "Our kick ass crew who gives so much of themselves to this show." "To our bossmen and women at showtime and fox." "To my team, everybody there." "My husband, my love, my life." "My baby daddy." "I " " I -- this doesn't mean anything without you." "Anyway, I love you so very, very anyway, I love you so very, very much, I'm so grateful." "Much, I'm so grateful." "Thank you." "Let's go!" "Octavia Spencer." "The beginning of your program?" "Your earth is spinning the wrong direction." "Son of a -- ?" "Are you sure this is the right way to handle this?" "Yeah, yeah, keep going." "Totally inappropriate." "Nation." "We cannot allow China to develop nukes." "Especially since they developed them in 1964." "What do they say when you walk into the dmv?" "Hey, Oprah!" "Please welcome Aziz ansari and Jane Levy." "The category is outstanding writing for a variety, music or comedy special." "Jane, real quick, just want to say on behalf of myself and all the other British actors here, thank you, Hollywood, for welcoming us." "It is bloody amazing." "To go from doing theater in London to presenting at the emmys." "It's brilliant." "Bloody brilliant." "Fish and chips." "Cheers." "I thought you were from north Carolina." "Yeah, but I feel like people take your acting more seriously when you're British." "That's a really good idea." "The nominees are -- "84th annual academy awards." "I have to introduce Ben stiller right now." "I think you're going to like her." "She's a lot of fun." "Wow." "Limber." "Yes, I really think so." "And her sister." ""Betty white's 90th birthday."" "Last year, Betty white released her sixth book." "You know, before I read this Bo, I didn't realize we were keeping celebrities in zoos." ""The Kennedy center honors."" "As an actor looking at those moments of meryl's life, my first thought is " " I was amazing in "the deer hunter."" ""Louis c.K., live at the beacon theatre."" "One time, I was at a public pool, I had my 6-year-old on my arm like this, clamped on and she's kicking." "So much fun." "And she got off and another random child just clamped on." "Like -- like a rat." "Get off of me." ""65th annual Tony awards."" "♪The song goes out to the rest of us ♪" "♪Those who have never seen theater before ♪" "♪Because Broadway has never been broader ♪" "♪Because Broadway has never been broader ♪" "♪It's not just for gays anymore ♪" "And the emmy goes to -- from the states, one of my mates, Mr. Louis c.K." "This is the third emmy win for Louis c.K." "He's won two tonight." "Thank you." "Oh, thank you." "I wanted another one, so, that's I wanted another one, so, that's nice." "Nice." "Thank you." "I want to thank Michael who helped me fill that theater full of people." "I I'd like to thank the people that were at that theater laughing at my jokes and Paul, who made it look very beautiful." "He's my director of photography, also, on the show." "And for audiences around the country who still go to see live comedy, and thank you all for being a great audience tonight, too." "Thank you." "Good night." "We'll return with Ricky gervais, julianne Moore, and Ron Howard pays tribute to a TV icon, as we remember some of the unforgettable artists we lost this past year." "Listen, the only thing worse than not having anything to wear is not having anything to put it on." "When the emmys continue." "Our next presenter has two emmys and a tremendous amount of disdain for you and everything you stand for." "Please welcome Ricky gervais." "Hello." "So much better than the golden globes, isn't it?" "It is, isn't it?" "It is, definitely." "You're all nice and attentive, wishing you were at the golden globes so you could be drinking, probably." "I just had a beer." "Literally the only reason I agreed, so I could have a beer." "They'vthrown me over for the big one." "This is outstanding directing for a variety special, okay?" "Good job this is live." "If it wasn't, this would make the edit." "Definitely." "A couple of these aren't -- they working." "You've got an emmy." "What are you going to do?" "Stay in the truck, probably." "Here are the nominees for directing in a variety special." "Not even a clip package?" "I just have to read them." "This is disrespectful." "Um -- don mischer, "84th annual academy awards."" "Louis j." "Horvitz, "the 54th annual grammy awards."" "Another one." "Louis c.K." "This is ridiculous." ""Louis c.K., live at the beacon theatre."" "If he wins this, he's a better comedian than me." "It's not?" "We'll see." "I don't know." "Alan skog, "New York City George balanchine's the nutcracker."" "Glenn weiss, "65th annual Tony awards."" "And the emmy goes to -- well -- who is that?" "I'm an atheist and that worried me." "I hope it's Louis now, because he's amazing." "I feel bad." "And the emmy goes to Glenn weiss." "Thank you, thank you." "Obviously, I'm in the middle of directing the show going on right now." "It's really gratifying to be recognized like this for a project that you're so passionate about." "I love working with the Broadway theater community." "I love Broadway theater." "So great to put the best of it on once a year." "I want to thank my partner, Ricky kirshner." "And I want to mention the ads, stage managers working on the team." "Thank you very much." "We could never do this without you and I really appreciate it and recognize you." "The first time I was nominated nine years ago, I won and I left out my parents." "Mom and dad -- nine years of guilt is not going to be able to get over quickly, but thank you very much for everything." "I love you." "On award shows, people get played off all the time by guys like me." "Tommy, play me off!" "I'd like to thank CBS, the Broadway league." "Love you girls." "See you tomorrow in New York with emmy." "Let's go back to Ricky gervais." "Thank you." "Well done." "And well done to everyone in that category, especially Louis." "The second-best comedian in the world." "He's been looking around at me all night every time he won, so, there you go." "Here are the nominees for variety, music or comedy series." ""The colbert report"" "chick-fil-a had its best day in history." "Or, as chickens refer to it, the or, as chickens refer to it, the worst day in history." "Worst day in history." ""The lady show with jon Stewart."" "$35,000 for a ticket to dinner but own $250 to see the Foo Fighters?" "That is an insult to this fine man, Dave, who has spent the last 15 years of his life fig fighting foo." ""Jimmy kimmel live."" "Black Hitler." "I will kill you, kimmel." "How do you like them grapes?" ""Late night with Jimmy fallon."" "My life has an American accent." "Howdy, indeed." "My smoking hot youngest daughter, lady Amber." "And, the middle daughter." ""Real time with bill maher."" "Now that snooki is pregnant -- somebody has to ask Rick santorum, are you still against contraceptives?" ""Saturday night live."" "Oh, oh!" "Oh, no!" "And the emmy goes to -- not again." ""The daily show with jon Stewart."" ""The daily show kw jon Stewart" received four nominations this year." "They have now won an emmy in this category ten consecutive years." "Accepting the emmy on behalf of the team is jon Stewart." "Thank you." "Oh." "I'm not in the kind of shape I should be in to do a bit with" "Jimmy fall lon, who is in very good shape." "Son of a -- free sandwich after ten." "We were told we get a free sandwich after ten." "But we don't." "No more." "No mas, please." "Great category." "Stephen colbert, they show, what Stephen colbert, they show, what they did with super-pacs this they did with super-pacs this year was ridiculous." "Jimmy kimmel, Jimmy fallon, I spend way too much time on the" "Internet watching their shows." "Bill hmahre, constantly writing lines that I wish I did." "And lorne Michaels, "Saturday night live."" "Without him, we wouldn't be doing this." "I want to say what this has really meant for us." "We make topical comedy, which -- has the shelf life of egg salad, like, nobody cares after five days." "So, to do this for 15 years and to have tangible proof that what we made wasn't just a is great." "Years from now when is earth is just a burning husk and aliens visit." "They will find a box of these and they will know just how predictable " "Nicole Kidman, julianne Moore, Connie britton," "Ashley judd and Emma Thompson." "Which of these remarkable women will win lead actress in a miniseries or movie?" "You know what they say the difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull?" "Lipstick." "Coming up on the 64th emmy awards on abc." "Before we go any farther, I'd like you to meet my father and mother, who are here in the audience." "My dad looks like wolf blitzer." "I know that this isn't the case for everyone, but my parents were always very supportive." "They always told me "you can do anything you set your mind to."" "And so this year, I set my mind to winning an emmy." "And guess what mom and dad?" "I didn't win an emmy." "You told me I could, and now I didn't." "And I'm devastated because you lied to me." "Just like when you told me it would be cool to bring a briefcase to the first day of junior high school." "Yo." "Mr. and Mrs. kimmel, why did you lie to little Jim Jim like that?" "Why did you tell him to put his mind to it?" "No!" "I don't trust these two, Jim." "I don't, either." "I think they sick." "They are sick people." "Security?" "Can we please have my parents removed?" "Thank you." "The two of them." "They got to go." "You told him to put his -- yes, so -- totally unnecessary." "Go ahead and tase them, bro, if you need to." "Yes." "Out of the theater and into the parking lot." "Thank you very much." "Well, you know what?" "They have to learn some how." "Jim." "You just keep your mind loose." "These two cements are empty now." "Can my cousin from Brooklyn come get them?" "Put whoever you want in there." "Come here!" "Thank you, Tracy." "And now on with the show." "Mini series are short series and movies are even shorter series." "And we have lumped them together tonight in this genre -- mini series or movie." "I did everything I was supposed to my whole life." "I'm a do-er." "Cancer doesn't happen to do-ers." "I talked to a lot of people on the worst day of their lives." "There are better days ahead." "The interview sucks because you wouldn't listen to us." "I am not your puppet." "It's not about you." "I am not your puppet." "It's not about you." "It's about the country." "You don't actually think I was interested in you." "Why?" "Because you're the great Sherlock holdingmesholmes?" "No." "Because I took your pulse." "You're going to die in here." "What are you doing?" "Make you a believer." "You're going to want to talk to me when you're read it." "Do you trust the source?" "That's a gamble you're going to have to take." "I've been a police officer since I was a boy." "We need to stop." "We have to predict what he's going to do next." "Running their own agenda." "I am a mother looking for her son." "Goes against everything you believe in." "They are going to kill our son." "Perhaps you were meant for something special and extraordinary." "He is to live as a young fellow of great expectations." "Supposed to be a war correspondent." "I feel like I don't know enough." "Let me tell you something about writers." "The best ones are all liars." "You come home with him -- you're not my daughter anymore." "There's no blood left to be spilled." "Wow." "Our next presenter is one of the reasons awards shows were invented." "He has been nominated many times for so many shows, he's probably sick of this." "Please welcome Steve buscemi." "Yeah Tim van patten." "A homicidal neighbor, the victim of psychopathic ghosts, matriarch to a murderous family, military intelligence and a republican." "Clearly these women weren't typecast." "Here are the nominees for supporting actress in a miniseries or movie." "Frances Conroy, "American horror story."" "Judy Davis, "page eight."" "Jessica lange, "American horror story."" "Sarah Paulson, "game change."" "Mare winningham, "hatfields  mccoys."" "And the emmy goes to " " Jessica lange, "American horror story."" "Born in Minnesota, this is the second career emmy and fourth nomination for jeica lange." "And fourth nomination for jeica lange." "Her first emmy was for her lead performance in the mini series "gray gardens."" "Oh, thank you very much." "Thank you to the academy." "This is -- this is really lovely." "It's been such a kind of wild ride." "It started a little more than a year ago, I got a call, out of the blue, from Ryan Murphy, who I had never met, who made me, I have to admit, more promises than any man I had ever met before." "And they all came to pass, so -- it's -- it's a lovely evening." "It's a great gift when you have such amazing talented writers in a room, writing, especially for you, knowing your strengths and what you love to play and catering it all for you specifically, so, I thank the" "writers." "I thank the amazing actors that I had the chance to work with." "This past year." "Of crse, to Ryan, to Brad, to Dante, everybody at fx and to all the people in my life who look after me, Leslie, Jason," "Brian and to my family, to my children." "Kiefer sutherland, kerry Washington, Andre braugher, and a remembrance of some of the television greats we lost this past year." "This is dick Clark in time's square." "When the emmys continue." "Please welcome the chairman and ceo of the academy of television arts and sciences, Bruce rosenblum." "And Ellen degeneres." "Ellen, can I ask you a question?" "Yes, Bruce." "Where are your pants?" "Jimmy has them." "Let's go." "On behalf of our board of governors, I want to congratulate all of tonight's nominees and emmy winners." "But the TV academy is much more than this annual celebration." "Much more." "Our terrific online archive of American TV is celebrating its 15th anniversary this year." "It features more than 750 fascinating interviews with TV icons -- fascinating." "Who have left a lasting impression." "You can watch all of these for free at emmytvlegends.Org." "Our foundation's summer internship program for college students offers many industry-wide opportunities and exposure to professional TV production in Los Angeles." "Ellen, thank you." "Thank you." "What are you, a 32 waist?" "And enjoy the rest of the show." "I mean, not that I don't appreciate it, but you'd think after two and a half hours she'd be able to get another pair of pants." "Our next presenter is very popular because she is talented and also friendly to those around her -- which I think is a good lesson for those who aren't." "Please welcome kerry Washington." "The best actors study the history, mannerisms and dialects of their character." "Not just because they define a great performance, but because they give him the courage to bring these characters to life." "The nominees for outstanding supporting actor in a miniseries or movie are -- tom berenger, "hatfields  mccoys."" "A scandal in belgravia."" "Ed Harris, "game change."" "Denis O'Hare, "American horror story."" "David strathairn, "Hemingway  gellhorn."" "And the emmy goes to -- tom berenger, "hatfields  mccoys."" "This is the first emmy win and second nomination for tom berenger." "Born in Illinois, his first nomination was for his guest acting performance on "cheers."" "Thank you." "Oh, my God." "There's my 40 seconds." "It's gone getting up here." "I think the academy should have melted this down into 10 or 11 little tiny emmys, easier to carry home." "And then giving them out to all my nephews and cousins in the hatfield clan." "Powers booth, Matt barr, Noel fisher, Michael greco, Greg pattimore, and as much as I hate to admit it, some of those McCoy boys." "And those bounty hunters, Andrew and those bounty hunters, Andrew howa howa" "Howard." "75 brilliant speaking roles, well honed and drafted by Ted mann and his writing cohort, wrote beautiful 19th century victorian dialogue." "And I have them to thank for my character, uncle Jim vance, a cross between a raccoon with rabies and a demented garden gnome." "I don't know how close they got -- well, it's time to go." "Kevin Reynolds told me sometimes the plan is, all the lines come together, and Kevin, they did." "You created a masterpiece." "Thank you." "We really did it, didn't we?" "Sure did." "Andy Griffith gave landmark performances in radio, on" "Broadway, in music and the movies." "But it was on TV in powerful dramatic specials, and of course, on "matlock" and "the Andy Griffith show" where he gave even more to remember and love him for." "I had the great fortune to play his son, opie, for eight seasons on "the Andy Griffith show."" "I was " " I was able to grow up professionally in that collaborative, fun, but hard-work, environment that was defined by Andy's taste." "His creative energy and his unwavering respect for the audience." "And the unique possibilities he believed our show could offer." "Andy's legacy of excellence, accessibility and range puts him in the pantheon." "But dang, if he didn't make it look awful easy while he was going about it, didn't he?" "He will be missed, as will the following remarkable artists who've passed on over the last year." "You deserve the best." "And that's exactly what you're going to get." "The best." "Okay?" "Here." "The only thing worse than not having anything to wear is not having anything to put it on." "Ylove, peace and soul." "We're still up for dwarfs." "Yeah, guess who's going to play dopey." "My daddy warned me to keep away from women like you." "But he's nuts." "Let's get married." "I've done a lot of complaining here, but of all the things I've complained about, I can't complain about my life." "I'm Mike Wallace." "Friends?" "You and me?" "Friends, captain?" "I drink to your memories." "I loved, you fellas." "One and all." "Welcome to "American bandstand."" "This is dick Clark in time's square." "Ladies and gentlemen, Lucy liu and kiefer sutherland." "It's our pleasure to present two emmys tonight." "The first is for outstanding writing for a miniseries or movie." "The nominees are " " Danny strong, "game change."" "Ted mann, Ronald Parker, bill kerby, "hatfields  mccoys part 2."" "Abi more gan, "the hour."" "Neil cross, "Luther."" "A scandal in belgravia."" "And the emmy goes to " " Danny strong, "game change."" "This is the first emmy win and third nomination for Danny strong." "Thank you, wow, this is really exciting." "I share this award with mark and John, whose wonderful book it was placed upon." "My eternal gratitude to hbo for having the courage to make this movie." "You guys really are the best of the best, an honor to work with you." "Richard, Michael lot barbembard amazing director, the greatest guy you will ever meet." "Our wonderful producers." "The iconic tom Hanks." "Our fabulous cast and crew." "My agent, my manager." "And my very inspiring and beautiful girlfriend, Mary." "And for my mom, who very tragically passed away earlier this year, this is for you mom." "Thank you." "And now, the award for lead actress in a miniseries or movie." "The nominees are " " Connie britton, "American horror story."" "Ashley judd, "missing."" "Nicole Kidman, "Hemingway  gellhorn."" "Julianne Moore, "game change."" "Emma Thompson, "the song of lunch."" "And the emmy goes to -- julianne Moore." "Born in north Carolina, this is the first primetime emmy win for julianne Moore." "Chef won a daytime emmy for her performance on "as the world turns" in 1988." "Wow." "I " " I feel so validated because Sarah Palin gave me a big thumb's down." "Um " " I'd like to thank the television academy for this and putting me in the company with such wonderful actresses, Nicole such wonderful actresses, Nicole and 'Emma and Ashley and Connie." "And 'Emma and Ashley and Connie." "I'd like to thank hbo for a magnificent working experience." "Danny strong, for his script and constant generosity and my hair and makeup people, who transformed me physically every day for two hours and my dialect coach, who was so patient with me and Amy, because she is awesome." "Amazing, amazing cast and Sarah and ed and Jay roach, who just -- who held my hand and guided me through it and was the most amazing creative partner ever." "Thank you from thes Bo tom of my heart." "And my team, the Shane brothers and Josh lieberman and everly" "O'Neill, my friend and manager for 20 something years." "And Bart, I love you so much." "So much and Cal and liv, I'll be home tomorrow." "Thank you very much." "Send your congratulations to julianne Moore or any of tonight's winners on Twitter, using the hash tag emmy congrats." ""Hatfields and mccoys" earned 16 emmy nominations, including lead actor nods for Kevin costner and his co-star, bill Paxton." "My brother survives, you can have your boys." "If my brother dies, your boys will stay here, not long before justice will be on them." "This award is up next on the primetime emmys." "I want to point something out." "Jon Stewart is not in his seat and -- a minute ago, backstage," "I saw him throw his emmy out, into the garbage." "Something to remember when voting next year." "Our next precenters are beautiful and talented and one of them is even Canadian on top of that." "Please welcome jennifginnifer g and Emily vancamp." "Here are the nominees for outstanding directing for a miniseries or movie." "Philip Kaufman, "Hemingway  gellhorn."" "Paul mcguigan, "Sherlock:" "A scandal in belgravia."" "Sam Miller, "Luther."" "Kevin Reynolds, "hatfields  mccoys."" "Jay roach, "game change."" "And the emmy goes to " " Jay roach." "This is the third emmy win and fourth nomination for Jay roach." "He took home his first two emmys for writing and producing "recount."" "Wow." "That's amazing." "And I could just repeat what Danny already said and what Julie said." "I want to take a quick secd to celebrate what hbo does, consistently." "Everybody talks about politics but it's so freaking hard to get films made about politics and they just keep doing it and doing it so well." "It's awesome." "Richard, Michael, the whole team over there." "My collaborative buddies at playtone really made it easy and great." "Tom Hanks, the guys there." "Every man pictures." "And the word, you know, Danny strong is not just a good screenwriter, he is a great screenwriter." "I'm so happy for him that he got the emmy, too." "And just want to shoutout for mark and John who wrote the great book, our incredible crew." "And our cast." "Sarah paulso julianne Moore." "I want to say thanks to all my guys, my boys, my wife, my parents, thank you so much." "The nominees for outstanding lead actor in a miniseries or movie are -- bill Paxton, "hatfields  mccoys."" "Clive Owen, "Hemingway  gellhorn."" "Benedict cumberbatch, "Sherlock:" "Benedict cumberbatch, a scandal in belgravia."" "Idris elba, "Luther."" "Kevin costner, "hatfields  mccoys."" "Woody harrelson, "game change."" "And the emmy goes to " " Kevin costner, "hatfiel "hatfields  mccoys."" "This is the first emmy win for Kevin costner, who was born in California." "A long-time fan of westerns." "Wow." "This didn't really figure to happen." "In fact, we had to go all the way to Romania to film this very American story." "I'd like to thank that film community for helping us ." "We don't have a lot of time, but we don't have a lot of time, but thank you for Leslie for being thank you for Leslie for being that old kind of producer who hung on for 25 years only to see his movie made." "Nancy, a woman of her word." "To a cast and crew, in front of and behind the camera who served the vision every day who didn't take sides." "No matter what, whether it was me or my brother bill." "To my agent, Patrick and Brad and to my long-time friend j.J." "Harris." "To my wife, thank you for going on this journey with me and, finally, to everybody in America who gather around their tvs on their couches to watch this famous American feud." "Thank you." "And for those of you who haven't seen it, thank God for TV and reruns." "I just have to say that, just looking at this thing, it reminds me a little bit of testify olympic sports in London, but it doesn't -- doesn't seem like much of a sport, you know?" "This trophy here." "Thank you so much." "I love being an actor." "I've loved this life." "It's changed my life." "I didn't know " " I don't know what I would do if I didn't have it." "Thank you." "With four consecutive emmy wins, "mad men"" "is tied with "hill street blues," "L.A. law," and "the west wing" for the most drama series wins ever." "Will "mad men" win again tonight and make emmy history?" "You really have no idea when things are good, do you?" "The 64th primetime emmy awards on abc brought to you by " "a good miniseries or movie allows us to escape for a few hours into another world." "A great one takes up residence in ours." "The nominees for outstanding miniseries or movie are " ""American horror story."" ""Game change."" ""Hatfields  mccoys."" ""Hemingway  gellhorn."" ""Luther."" "A scandal in belgravia."" "And the emmy goes to -- "game change."" ""Game change"" "received 12 nominations this year." "Accepting the emmy on behalf of the team is tom Hanks." "Thank you." "This is Gary, we'd like to thank our founding fathers for the" "Democratic process they came up with that's provided not only us but hbo and all the comedy series here a plethora of material that seems to go on and on." "Thanks to hbo, the big cats over there, Richard and bill Nelson at the time, Mike." "We have an amazing cast that has been celebrated already." "Thank you very much." "An extraordinary field of nominees, long form mini series and television movies, I think are better than ever because of the great talent that you, the audience, the people that write the checks seem to have in all of us." "Thank you very, very much." "Am I nuts but does that guy in the mustache look just like tom Hanks?" "Now we've come to the last two awards of the evening." "Our next presenter is a four-time Oscar nominee, and one of two very talented Sarah Palin impersonators in the room." "Please welcome, emmy winner tonight julianne Moore." "The nominees for outstanding drama series are -- "boardwalk empire."" "The nominees fo drama series are -- "boardwalk empire."" "The nominees for drama series are -- "boardwalk empire."" ""Breaking badthe nominees for o drama series are -- "boardwalk empire."" ""Breaking bad."" ""Downton abbey."" ""Game of thrones."" ""Homeland."" ""Mad men."" "And the emmy goes to -- "homeland."" ""Homeland"" "received nine emmy nominations this year." "Accepting the emmy on behalf of the team is Paula scansa." "Who wants it?" "Somebody say something." "I don't know when they're going to cut me off, but this is the biggest night of my career." "I'm gointo keep talking until they do." "I want to start by congratulating showtime on its first best series emmy ever." "It's been a long time coming and "homeland" is just one of great shows over there." "I want to congratulation the entire showtime family." "This is your night, as well as ours." "You guys have been so great to us and we are thrilled to return the favor." "There are so many people to thank, but I got to start with the people around me right here." "The most talented group I have ever worked with, will ever work with." "I am so incredibly lucky." "Our brilliant, brilliant cast led by the incomparable Claire danes and the irresistible Damian Lewis." "Our murderers row of writers, chip, Meredith, Alex, Henry," "Howard Gordon, I mean, these people are just the best, the most talented writing staff I've ever been apart of." "And now, I finally get a chance to thank my wife, Lauren, I love you." "You read everything I write and you approve this message and thank you very much." "Good night." "All the wives, all the spouses, thank you so much." ""The big bang theory" was the highest rated comedy series this past season, but it's never won the top honors." "Could this be their year?" "Thank you for letting me seem on your couch." "Only so many times a woman can say "how about the bed?"" "Michael j." "Fox presents comedy series, when we return." "All right." "Our next presenter is someone no one likes." "Please welcome a time-traveler, a five-time emmy winner and everyone's least-favorite person, Michael j." "Fox." "Steady as a rock." "Thank you." "We've all been told that laughter is the best medicine." "We were also told that Facebook was a bargain at $38 a share." "One of those is true." "Here are the nominees for outstanding comedy series." ""30 rock."" ""The big bang theory."" ""Curb your enthusiasm."" ""Girls."" ""Modern family."" ""Veep."" "And the emmy goes to -- "modern family."" ""Modern family"" "received 14 nominations this year and 45 nominations and 12 wins to date." "Accepting the emmy on behalf of the team is Stephen levitan." "Thank you so, so much." "I -- we were outside shooting on Friday when the space shuttle" ""endeavour" flew over our set." "And everyone stopped." "And at that moment, suddenly, you know, we weren't big, important people making television anymore." "Because it was super loud and our sound guy said that we couldn't." "But after it cleared, we did, and, no, we ran -- we actually ran up onto a roof nearby and, like little kids and we all watched it together and it was an amazing moment, one of many" "amazing moments we've had over the past three and a half years, for which we are so grateful and we feel so lucky, lucky not only to have jobs in these challenges times, but to have jobs that we" "love with people we love, so, on behalf of everybody at "modern family," thank you to everybody at fox, at abc, Dana, Gary, thank you." "And most especially thank you to all of our -- oh, did you want to stay another hour?" "Good night, everybody." "Thanks for watching." "Tonight, it all started with gma's Lara Spencer and Josh elliott, with the stars, on the emmy red carpet." "And now, tomorrow Lara and Josh are at it again, with "good morning America's" emmy party live in L.A." "Plus, Steven Tyler finally speaks out about why he left "idol."" "And don't miss Taylor swift with a special "good morning America"" "exclusive." "Tomorrow on abc." "Program nominations are made by all voting members." "All other nominations are determined by peer balloting." "Emmy recipients are determined by peer panels who screened all nominations." "Votes were tabulated by the accounting firm of Ernst  young lip and the winners announced at the awards ceremonies on" "September 15th creative arts awards, and September 23rd primetime telecast."