"Thijs, are you awake?" "Martijn, put your seatbelt on." " Yes." "Spiderman also has to wear a seatbelt." "Thijs, are you awake?" "This is Thijs' voicemail." "I'm not here right now." "We'll be there in 15 minutes." "Will you be ready?" "Fifteen minutes, Thijs." "Quarter of an hour." "Yes." "Fuckers." "Motherfuckers." "Dude, what are you doing?" "I didn't see you, dude." " You can hear the shower, right?" "I think I have hangover diarrhea." " Don't you dare." "Seriously." "Don't you dare." "Did you ball that colleague yesterday?" " No, man." "We only fooled around in the john." "And she's not really a colleague." "She's in Appliances." "I almost got hit by a tree last night." " Shit." "For you." "This guy passed all his exams." "Yes, coming." "I'll be right down." "I thought you'd be ready." " I was on the lookout." "Take your time." "No hurry." "Short night?" " I can smell the answer." "Dear God." "Since you mentioned it, can I do a wash at your place?" "Try a Laundromat sometime." " With what fucking money?" "Mind your language." " He didn't even hear it." "Fucking." "Come on over with your laundry then." " Great." "Why do you think I did it?" "Why not one of the boys?" "Because I taught the boys." "For you it's too late." "Tap on, tap off." "How hard can it be?" "You have to write your name in it." "What's the present?" " An apple tree for the garden." "Tree Thijs." " Yes, it's uncle Thijs." "Did you talk to Julie yet?" "Julie?" " You know she's coming, right?" "No, I don't." "Why didn't you tell me?" "Did I say too much?" " I told you a hundred times." "Mom's going to parade around with her stupid snacks again." "I hope she made tuna bites again." " You're not going to eat all day." "I hope she made tuna bites again." " You're not going to eat all day." "Simone." " Man..." "Thijs, at least try." "Martijn, don't run." "Tim, do you have the card?" "And tuck your shirt in." "Hi, Tim." "I made tuna bites for you." " Leonie, I skipped breakfast on purpose." "He did have breakfast." "Hi, grandma." "And here's my dear sweet darling." "Did you invite Julie?" " I told you I ran into her." "No, you didn't." "But even so, I don't invite everybody I run into." "Dad and I have also known her for three years." "And she would love to see you." "I doubt that." " Of course she would." "You smell a little moldy." "I gave you money for a washing machine." "Oh, it's an expensive semester." "Textbooks and so on." "It's well-spent, then." "Els, let me help you with that." "Hey, Thijs." "You old jerk-off." " Uncle Dick..." "Erwin." "Your cousin's been to India." "Amazing sights, very impressive." "Touch my Hole." " What?" "The Touch my Hole." " The Taj Mahal." "He's making that joke all the time." " Touch my Hole." "That's what I said." "How are you?" "Studying hard?" " Sure." "Thijs does a lot of extracurricular things as well." "We encourage him to widen his horizon... before he settles down professionally and socially." "It just takes a little longer." " I'm going to congratulate dad." "I'll walk with you, sweetheart." "It's a great present, that apple tree." "I know just the place for it." "A great present, isn't it?" "Well, thank your son then." "Thanks, son." " You're welcome." "I didn't pick the right combination for you." "Did you spill something on your shirt?" "Come on, boys." "Let grandma get you something to eat." "Mom, no wheat." "Do you hear me?" "No wheat." "How are you?" " Fine." "And you?" " Well, retirement..." "It's quite something." " It is." "Joost, the choir is here." "Halle-fucking-lujah." "They've dried up nicely." "Dude." "I hate that fucking choir." "What did I say?" " Look who's talking." "Hi, Thijs." " Hi, Julie." "So..." "Australia." "How long were you there?" "A year?" " Two and a half." "You missed me, of course." "Dear family and friends..." "Leonie wanted a party for my retirement, so here we are." "But retirement means you're just sitting at home... so I've decided to find out who I am." "Who the real Joost is." "Dear family and friends, I'm going on a pilgrimage to Santiago de Compostella." "Sweetheart... here you are." "It's quite something with dad." "He wanted to announce it himself." "Did you know your old mother is organizing the church concert this year?" "Isn't that great?" " Fantastic, mom." "Will you be there?" " Don't know." "I'm very busy." "Of course, darling." "Look, here's a little extra." "Are you coming down in a minute?" " Yes." "I've already packed up some leftovers for you." "Remember to return the containers." " Sure, mom." "We're going." "We hardly talked today." "Is he going to lay an egg?" "Shall we have coffee sometime?" " Sure." "Do you still have the same number?" "I think so." "I'll call you soon, okay?" "Santiago de Compostella." "Fantastic." "Your dad doesn't know what he's in for." " Of course he does." "Did you see my mother's face?" "The guy finally shows he's got balls." "Fuck." "Do we have mice again?" " Don't know." "Here." "Check what I have to read for that fucking doctoral thesis." "Pretty hefty." "You know who was there yesterday?" " Aren't you working today?" "Not until two." " It's half past one." "You're kidding." "Fuck." "Hey, come over here." "What are you doing?" "I'm plasticizing this for Ernie." "I know you're new here, but could you move a little less?" "You're making us nervous." " Sure." "Go and do your plastic shit." "What's so funny?" " Nothing." "Weren't you late today?" " Problems with my ride." "The next time I'll take you on a ride out of here." "Wow, a word joke." "Great." "What's the time?" " It's smoke o'clock." "Dirk, can you take over?" "Look at them." "Their climax of the day is buying a new TV." "Every evening they'll be zapping through lifeless television." "This morning I saw 'Kids Love Fashion'." "I almost jumped out the window." "Does your phone work out here?" "Fucking dingo." "Walter..." " What?" "There's mice again." "I hear them everywh..." "Did you eat all my leftovers?" "Check this." "I've been here for hours." "Now that is a nice girl." "Out of your league." " You think so?" "You're not missing anything." "Except crap about being too self-centered and shit." "I wouldn't let that happen." "I'd fight for this chick." "Sure." "Says someone who's decomposing on the couch." "At my age that's still normal." " What do you mean?" "Nothing." "Relax, man." "Oh, wait." "Check this." "Tim..." "Simone?" "Hello?" "Simone?" "Thijs..." "What the fuck..." "Frank, Martijn?" "This is not funny." " Who's that?" "She's very strict." "We can never play hide and seek before bed." "Come on." "You should have been in bed already." "Motherfuckers." "I'm free, motherfuckers." "Thijs..." "Lisa." "Tim's half-sister." "Are you okay?" "No." "Martijn, don't make a fuss." " Thijs has to do it." "Don't look." "I don't remember seeing you before." " Tim's thirtieth birthday?" "That's a hundred years ago." " Not that long... six." "I remember being impressed by your girlfriend." "Julie?" "Your memory is okay." " Are you still seeing her?" "Nope." " Why not?" "That's how things go." " Really?" "There's shampoo in his eye." "Is this your laundry?" " Yes." "Just put it in." "Sorry, sorry..." " Don't look." "Studying for a test or something?" "Exams." "I need a nine average." "Says who?" " Says Oxford university." "To be admitted." "Your laundry is done." "You never want to do something with me." "But I do." "Let's go to a bar sometime." "A bar?" " No fighting, okay?" "I just came to do my laundry." " Why isn't he in bed yet?" "Things were a little different this evening." "Right, Martijn?" "You're out of olive oil, by the way." " Hey, sis." "Did you study hard?" "Not really." "Bye, Thijs." "What is this, dude?" "Where is Frank?" "I won, motherfuckers." "Quinoa or whatever that biological crap is called." "Anyway, it tastes like soggy shit." "Carly and Jelle and their pseudo happy chatter." "We only argue." "The other day she was angry because I flirted with the schoolteacher." "That chick is crazy hot." "I almost come when I see a stuffed chicken." "That's how dry things are here." "Don't tell me about my sisters sex life." " Your sister doesn't have a sex life." "Lisa has changed a lot." "How old is she anyway?" "Born in... '98, so she's sixteen." "Soon I'll have to beat guys up who want to get into her pants." "Dad, will you read us a story?" " Of course." "Come on." "You can pick a story." "Thijs, I could smell it downstairs." "Here." "This was dad's." "It stopped Tim from smoking as well." "Do something with it." "Your laundry lies folded on the kitchen table, sir." "The web shop was too successful..." "The web shop was too successful... so we're going back to my native island Java." "We're going to sell Dutch things there like cheese, licorice and sausages." "Follow your heart, Ernie." "We'll miss your warmth and dedication." "The good news is that the position of floor manager is now vacant." "I'm hereby inviting you all to hand in an application." "I would prefer someone who has worked here for some time." "Don't you want to get on?" " Of course not." "This is a sideline for me." "The day I graduate I'm gone." "I didn't go to college." "I could really use the extra money." "Turn the light off, dude." "Want to grab a beer?" "What do you think." "I almost saw her tits." "Turn the light off or she'll see me." "Thanks." "Walter..." "Hello, Thijs here." " Hi, Thijs." "It's Lisa." "I'm baby-sitting again tonight, so maybe you want to come over." "Then you can help me with my study work." "Hello..." "Thijs?" "She's gone out." "Want a beer?" " Sure." "Sorry, I thought you were Walter." " It's okay." "Did you see the girl I'm with?" "I did." "What the fuck..." "I came home last night when you were already snoring like some gay... and she was outside fucking with her new keys." "So... piece of cake." "I'm going to borrow this." "All my stuff is dirty." "We're going to have pancakes in Durgerdam." "This is the girl I'm going to marry..." "I swear." "What idiot removed The Breakfast Club?" "That's an eighties classic." "That's how it works in a multinational." "If it doesn't sell it's out." "You're already turning into a commercial rat." "Fuck you and your application." "Can you lend me ten?" " Again?" "This is the flyer for the film party." "Me and the girls from Appliances are going as 'Grease'." "I hope you're coming." "Thank you." "Bye." "Fooled around with her in the john once." " Nice girl." "Fuck lunch." "It's smoke o'clock." "Lunch time is almost over." "I can't cut corners anymore, because of my application." "Fine." "I get it." "Look here." "From dad." "He writes about sleeping in a barn and making fire." "Now, isn't that nice?" "I hope he gets his vitamins." "He's got such a weak stomach." "Why did you want me to come by?" " Can you help me with the computer?" "Now?" "I want to make invitations for the church concert." "How?" "You don't have Photoshop." " Can't you do it in Word?" "Word is no good." " Els makes X-mas cards in Word." "Yeah, let's listen to Els." "That woman is 150 years old." "Can I come to you then?" " No, I'm very busy." "I'll make something for you." "It'll be okay." "That's wonderful, dear." "Here's a little extra." "Did you see Julie again?" " No." "What a pity." "And bring those containers next time." " Yes." "Jesus Christ." "Hi, Thijs." " Hi, Lisa." "That took you a long time." "My chain came off." "They've just gone to sleep." "Take your shoes off, please." "Are you baby-sitting every night?" " Almost." "I can study and make money at the same time." "Most of the time." "Everything else is in the laundry." "Would you like a drink?" " Sure." "I'll have a beer." "I don't think they have beer." " Tea then?" "The second star to the left and then straight ahead." "Is there something wrong?" " No, he talks in his sleep." "I don't even hear it anymore." "What do you want to study at Oxford?" " International law." "I want to write my doctoral thesis on human rights... and then I'd like to work for a help organization." "Tim told me you're at university too." " Tim?" "Take it easy." "We just talked." "And then he gave you my number." " No, I just 'found' that in his phone." "So what do you study?" " Economics." "I mean, communication studies." "I'm almost finished so..." "You did economics before that." " Yes, among other things." "I wanted to widen my horizon before I made my choice... and I did a lot of things outside the curriculum." "Really?" "Such as?" "I have to use the toilet, the bathroom, the john." "It's over there." " That's right." "Hi, Thijs." "It's Julie." "Do you still want that coffee?" "Sure." "Tomorrow I have some spare time." "Okay, that's nice." "Hello, my head's stuck." "Julie, I'll call you back." "She says her head is stuck." "Evy, what is this?" "You should be asleep." "My head is stuck." " Evy, get up." "I'm stuck." "She's stuck." "Do you have olive oil?" "This one's for my dead homies." "I was kidding." "I'm going to turn your head a little and then you're out, okay?" "Just sit still and do nothing." "Works every time." "One, two..." "A quick shower and back to bed." " I don't feel well." "Did you see the endive, Lisa?" "My puke was green, wasn't it?" " Yes, and the carpet is green too." "Are mom and dad going to be angry?" " No." "I'll make sure they don't notice it." "And if you don't tell them Thijs was here it'll be our secret." "Deal?" "Deal." "Just put it in the washing machine." "Explain why the male orangutan is a unique primate." "The male orangutan can postpone his adulthood." "It involves the secondary sexual features such as the shape of his face." "What is this crap they teach you now?" " What do you mean?" "I think I know enough." "I also have to study for my theory test." " For your driver's license?" "That's easy, right?" " I wouldn't know." "I don't have a license." "I don't really need it in the city." "Well, thanks for your help, anyway." "What is this?" "Your IUD or something?" "It's a mouth harp." "I play when I study to help me concentrate." "Play something." " No." "Come on." "The parents will be home soon." " I have to go, too." "You can have this one." "But promise you'll practice so we can play a duet next time." "Hey, get out." "Thijs, beat it." "You have to really put it against your teeth." "Man really ruins the environment." "Look at these baby turtles." "They come out and then go the wrong way because of all the noise and light." "Volunteers think they're helping by leading them out to sea... where they then suffocate on a piece of plastic." "You can't patrol it all." " No, I guess not." "Who is the guy living here?" " He used to be a musician." "But when his wife got pregnant he gave it up and took a real job." "They've just split up and she's cleaning him out." "How did it end between you and Julie?" "It's not a very interesting story." "But it's better this way." "Otherwise she'd be cleaning me out." "You don't have anything anyway." "By the way, Oxford just called." "They offered your place to a retarded turtle." "Very funny." "What are you doing?" " I'm checking the cupboard." "Don't you ever do that?" " No, of course not." "Then you're a lousy baby-sitter." " Don't do that." "What if he notices there's less?" "Stop it." "Dad called." "They're already in France." "Hey, Thijs." "What's up?" "What are you up to all the time?" "Is it a chick?" "Shut up." " You have a girlfriend?" "Is it Julie?" " No." "Never mind that laundry." "Wendy thought Peter was arrogant and went back to bed." "Wendy thought Peter was arrogant and went back to bed." "She didn't talk to him anymore." "But Peter could be nice too." "Are you and Lisa married?" " No, of course not." "My fathers are married and I'll get married too." "Okay." " Thijs, come here a minute." "You can read it yourself, right?" "I can't put this in." "It'll run." "Okay." " Here." "Like this?" "Now preset the program." "And start." "You don't do this often, do you?" " No." "We usually order out or my mother..." "Your mother?" "She always gives me leftovers in plastic containers." "That's what mothers do, right?" "Mine doesn't." "My parents rather work." "I am second brood so I guess I'm second choice." "You really think you're second choice?" "My father didn't want another family." "He's not interested in me." "He probably doesn't even know I'm doing my finals." "My parents are the opposite." "My mother, I mean." "My father doesn't have an opinion." "My mother... fucking hell." "She always goes to so much trouble." "Over my father's retirement party, Christmas, presents..." "Even at Easter she's working for days in advance... making butter chickens and hiding chocolate eggs in the garden." "Always an even number because we had to 'share' everything." "One time we found an odd number." "Not even my mother could find the missing egg." "My sister didn't care but I just had to find that egg." "It drove me nuts." "So I dug up the whole garden with my beach shovel." "Nothing." "My father got mad because I ruined his garden." "He still had an opinion then." "Now I can't even imagine going to all that trouble for one egg." "The gay people will be home soon." "The 'gay people' are gone for the weekend." "I'm staying here tonight." "You don't think this is my first time, do you?" "At what age is it legal to have sex?" "Motherfuckers." "Check this." "Your dad's already in Orleans." "'Your poor father has had a lot of blisters, but keeps going." "Beautiful moments all by myself.'" "Can you help me out?" "Hey, dude." "Come and help." "Okay, let's go." "I proudly present your new floor manager." "A worthy successor, I might say." "Dirk." "Cake, come on, guys, cake." "'Everything okay?" "You left so early." "See you tomorrow, right?" "X Lisa.'" "Commercial rat." "Thijs, I swear." "The shit hit the fucking fan." "Listen, Tim." "I..." "Simone got rid of my Thunderbirds island." "She wants me to go to Carly and Jelle again, but I've had enough." "This constant nagging all the fucking time." "I'm not turning into a guy who goes walking at 65 to prove he's still man." "No offense." " None taken." "Listen, Thijs." "We're going out tonight." "I miss you." "Are you with your chick all the time?" "I don't have a chick." " Is she hot?" "Big tits?" "Is that her?" "Your gorgeous slut, your juicy pussy?" "It's your little sister." "Another one?" "Last one." "No, no... we're gonna get smashed tonight." "This is the real life." "In a bar on a Tuesday night." "I really think it's awesome that you just do as you please... without giving a fuck about conventions or expectations." "Sure." "Life is fantastic." "Just as I had imagined." "What?" "My life is as fantastic." "As I expected it to be." "That's right." "Take this." "No, thanks." "I'm too drunk to get up the stairs." "Turn off the tap." "Tap on... tap off." "Here's to Tuesday evenings." "Tim..." "Tim... no, no." "No, you can't be serious." "Mom, look in the hallway." " O, Tim." "Oh mama, everything is also wet here." " Where is daddy?" "Tim..." " Tuesday night." "Mom, why is this wet?" "Because daddy left the tap on, honey." " I don't know." "And uncle Thijs had nothing to do with it either?" "I'm not letting you drag Tim with you in your miserable life." "Sweetie, Thijs didn't do anything." " Was it your turn yet?" "You should turn him on sometime." "Get out, Thijs." " Good luck, man." "Where were you yesterday?" "Thijs, are we okay?" "Yes." "There's just a lot on my mind." "I was thinking about those turtles again." "I'd love to be there when they hatch." " That would be great." "It would be wonderful." "It would be thanks to you because you guarded the nest all those weeks." "Saving seals with stoned hippies on the beach?" "Rather you than me." "Turtles." "And why 'stoned hippies'?" "You're just being cynical." "No, it's called realistic." "Your laundry is ready." "No, thanks." "Since when did you stop smoking?" " Since I'm with Esther." "That bitch's got a hold on you." " That's my girl you're talking about." "You're getting married and have kids." "I'm sorry." "Didn't we do tax law together in the first year?" "No, get lost, asshole." "Speaking of which, I wanted to tell you that I'm moving out." "I'm moving in with Esther." "I'm pretty nervous about it." "What if I fuck up?" "Walter, are you coming?" "We're going to have dinner." "See you later." "Thijs, I'm in here." "I thought I'd drop by to make those invitations with Photoshop." "But then it was such a mess in here so I thought:" "I have time, I'll tidy up for the boys." "A 70.000 euro student loan." "You owe taxes, you've been summoned by your previous phone provider." "Life in the city is expensive." "Honey, these debts are absurd." "How could this happen?" "Dad and I pay for everything." "Your tuition, your rent..." "Jesus, do you think that's all I have to pay for?" "Mom, I don't have time for this shit." "Thijs, I just want to help you." "Well, then I'll leave you to it." "That took you a long time." " My chain again." "Fucking hell, who lives here?" "Where are the kids?" "Lisa, congratulations." "This is good news, right?" "Or am I missing something?" "I don't want to go." " What?" "I really don't want to go." "What is this, Lisa?" " I want to be with you." "With me?" "I've never felt so relaxed and I want it to stay the way it is... with you." "What are you doing?" " What do you think?" "Please don't go." "There's no one else home." "I love you." "Thijs, I just told you I love you." " What do you know?" "You're 16." "And you're 32." "With your studies and your Tupperware." "Call a baby-sitter for yourself." "I don't need this shit." "Just run away like you always do." "You're just afraid." "Oh, really." "Who's afraid here?" "'I don't want to go'." "Fuck off." "By the way, you owe me money for all that baby-sitting." "I was bored stiff, you know." "All that whining about your parents and your degree." "Lisa, fuck Oxford, suffocate on your mouth harp and leave me alone." "What are you doing here?" "I just came to do my laundry." "A sports accident?" "Which sport?" "Are you doing alright?" " Great." "It took you a long time to call me." " I had a lot to do." "Shall we order vodka and get drunk?" "When I went to Australia all I could think about was you." "I was really hoping you'd call." " We had broken up." "Why would I?" "You might have asked how I was doing sometime." "You let me go there alone." "To Australia?" " You know what I mean." "I was there, wasn't I?" " Too late." "I couldn't find that joint." " Joint?" "What should I have done?" "Should I have stuck that knitting needle in myself?" "Okay, Thijs." "Bye." "Film party" "What happened to your eye?" " Sports accident." "Which sport?" " Just give me a beer." "Who are you supposed to be?" "Yo Solo, give me another one, will you?" "This feels a little weird, Thijs." "I'll have you 'feel' something else." "Bring me a beer, will you?" "You've had enough, Thijs." "You're coming with me." "I feel a little weird." "'Sorry, some guy came to collect debts." "Visit us soon..." "Walter.'" "You fucking, spineless prick." "Language." " I don't give a fuck." "With Lisa?" "Have you no morals at all?" "Men are all the same." "Spineless jerks." "You, Tim, dad..." "Who's back by the way." "Did you know?" "Back from Limburg where he's been smoking in a hotel room for four weeks." "What?" "I slept with Jelle." "Who's Jelle?" "Carly's husband." "Carly and Jelle." "Does Tim know?" "That's why he was at his father's house." "Yes, that's why, asshole." "What now?" "Thijs, you have to let go of mom." "If this goes on you'll be just as weak-boiled as dad." "You mean soft-boiled." "Will you look after mom?" " Yes." "Okay, so we'll be right over." "What is this?" "I heard nothing from you, so Els helped me." "What's with your eye?" "So Word does hieroglyphs now?" " I thought you were too busy." "You thought..." "You're always thinking for me." "With your 'honey'." "Keep your hands off my stuff and here... is all your fucking Tupperware." "Wait." "Are you saying something?" "What is this?" "Santiago de Compostella." "Are you proud of yourself?" "Back to your housekeeper with your tail between your legs." "Are you proud?" "Yes, I am quite proud of myself." "I was ashamed for three weeks because I stopped... but I found out I do know what I want." "I want to be here with your mother." "If that makes me a spineless jerk, so be it." "What the fuck's going on here?" "What the fuck's going on here?" "What the fuck's going on here?" "We're making your old room into a study for dad." "So he has his own place." "A study?" "You're throwing away my discman just like that?" "And my Wu Tang." "It was full of holes." " So what?" "I want it the way it was." " I know, but that's not possible." "Why not?" "Where else can I go?" "Why are you doing this?" "What do you expect from us?" "You're 32 years old." "What are you doing here?" " Your mom hired me to do the study." "The study..." "Fucking Lord." "Motherfuckers." "Thijs, what's wrong with you?" " Nothing." "Were you drunk?" " No." "I never should have forced you to do it for me." "How do you mean 'for me'?" " What?" "I didn't do it for you." "Our relationship was going nowhere." "Let alone with a child." "It's okay." "I'm not blaming you for anything." "Not anymore." "If it hadn't happened, I wouldn't be where I am right now with Marcus." "So there's no chance for me to steal you back from that dingo?" "No." "Seriously?" "Shouldn't you be at your mother's concert?" "Am I too late?" "What happened to you?" "Where did you go yesterday?" "I'm in time." "Simone, I need to borrow your car." " Now?" "Yes, give me the keys." "Since when do you have a driver's license?" "You have to take me somewhere." "Where do you have to go?" " To Lisa." "I must talk to Lisa." " Thijs, come on." "It's important." " Forget it." "Daddy, daddy." "Hey, where did you come from?" " We've been to the toy shop." "Who are you here with?" "Tim." "Forget it." "She's at the airport." "She's going to Oxford." "This is such a cliché." "I wanted to..." " Can you lend me ten bucks for a taxi?" "And?" " The check-in for Oxford is closed, sir." "I'm sorry." "I'm sorry." "I'm sorry." "You were right." "I was afraid." "It's a good thing you're going to Oxford." "I was afraid you wouldn't go because of me." "I can't hear you." "'I'm not going to Oxford.'" "Why not?" "The turtles..." "Why?" "'It was my first time.'" "The first time what?" "Lisa, what?" "He hasn't settled in yet." "Shall we make a vegetarian lasagna tonight?" "Fine." "Dirk, have you seen Tommy?" "The best book I ever read." "Strong plot, convincing protagonist, flawlessly written... a page turner of the highest level." "So what is it?" " Don't you know?" "It's Tommy's debut." "I should get back to work." "You're early." " Why didn't I know this?" "I don't know." "If it goes on like this I'll be in the top-10 next week." "Well done, mate." "He's finished." " Would you go back to work, please." "Thanks."