"All right." "It's for me, sir." "Yes, sir!" "A soldier's work is never done" "And though we never use a gun" "We're still on active service though we're through with fighting" "For when a lady takes the field she knows the guards will always yield" "And every man deserves a medal every night" "To arms To arms" "We're used to night alarms" "We're always facing powder" "The girls give in We weaken, but we win" "And march home feeling prouder" "We're on a parade each evening in the park" "We are not afraid to skirmish in the dark" "We're famous near and far" "For our rata, ta-ta-ta, ta-ta" "Toujours I'amour in the army" "We give the girls a rata-ta, ta-ta-ta-ta" "When we go out campaigning" "And they give us a rata, ta-ta-ta-ta-ta" "And so we are not complaining" "For years and years we've battled every night" "They'll pension us when we're too old to fight" "We're the boudoir brigadiers" "With a rata-ta-ta-ta, ta-ta" "Toujours I'amour in the army" "Rata, ta-ta, ta-ta-ta" "It's for you, sir." " Hello, Niki." " Hello." "Oh, Niki, I'm in great trouble." "You must help me." " How much?" " No, no." "No." "It's not that." "It's something different, Niki." "Well, I've..." "You see..." "Well, I'm a married man." "Well, then, get a divorce." "Now, now." "Don't misunderstand me." "I'm very fond of my wife." "She's nice." "She's good." "She's refined." "In fact, I love my wife." " And so, you see, if I should..." " Wait a minute." "To cut a long story short, you're crazy about another girl." " Yes." " And you don't know what to do." " No." " Then don't do it." "Oh, but she's so beautiful." "And what a figure she has." "And, Niki, you should see her fingers." "She has the daintiest little fingers." "She plays the violin, you know." " What does she do?" " She plays the violin." "And how." "She's the leader of a girls' band in a beer garden." "I've just come from there." "Oh, Niki, Niki." "I've got to meet her." "Oh, but I've got to be so careful because I'm a married man." "Niki, Niki, look." "You come to the beer garden with me?" "I see." "I see." "You're afraid to have supper with her alone." " Right." " And that's why you want me along." " Right." " And after supper, I go home, and you don't go home." " Right." " And you think I will lend myself to such an intrigue?" " Let's go." " My friend!" "What did you say?" "She plays the violin?" "Yes." " I play the piano." " Oh, that's great!" "How do you like her?" "What?" "You don't like her?" "Do you know whom she reminds me of?" " Your wife." " Oh, wait a minute." " This girl is beautiful." " See here." "No, no, no, no." "You're crazy." "Just picture your wife, 15 years younger... 20 pounds lighter, her hair dyed... her nose operated on... the same girl." "You see?" "Exactly like your wife." "Always interrupting." "Bravo." "Beg pardon, madame." "Will you permit me to tell you... that I think you are the most beautiful, the most fascinating lady I have ever met?" "You are very much mistaken, sir." "You haven't met me." "Oh, pardon me, please." "That waltz you played so divinely, how does it go?" "Right!" "So, you play the piano." "Someday we may have a duet." "I love chamber music." "When hearts are singing... spring will remain." "Music is bringing... love once again." "Listen." "It calls you." "Now it is May." "Love while it sings to you." "Live for today." "It calls you." "Now it is May." "Take what it brings to you." "Live for today" "You have to go?" "You want to go?" " Yes." " Why?" "I like you too much." "Shall I see you again?" "I hope so." "When?" "Well, perhaps tomorrow night we could have dinner together." "Don't make me wait 24 hours." "I'm so hungry." "Well, perhaps then we could have tea tomorrow afternoon." "Why not breakfast tomorrow morning?" "No." "No." "First tea... and then dinner... and then maybe... maybe breakfast." "A dinner a supper for two" "Believe me I know what to do" "But breakfast is colder" "Love seems much older" "Yet the exception is you" "You put kisses in the coffee" "Such temptation in the tea" "I get a thrill that sends a chill right through me" "When you pass the toast to me" "There's paradise in every slice of bacon" "And you awaken" "Such yearning when you beg for scrambled egg" "And you put "it" in every omelet" "Breakfast time This must be love" "You put glamour in the grapefruit" "You put passion in the prunes" "I find romance each sweet, entrancing moment" "Every time you touch the spoons" "I must admit with every bit of liver" "I start to quiver" "I'm gone" "When you invade the marmalade" "And you put magic in the muffins" "Breakfast time" "This must be love" "Telegram for His Majesty." "Telegram for His Majesty." "A telegram for His Majesty." "Papa." "A telegram." "This is unheard of." "Flausenthurm without an "H"?" "Don't they know in Vienna how to spell my country?" "It's a deliberate insult, Papa." "They're trying to make us feel, just because we're a little country... we shouldn't have so many letters." "It's from the emperor himself." ""My dear cousin, as you cross the Austrian border..." ""I extend to you and to your daughter, Princess Anna... my heartiest welcome"." ""Unfortunately, I shall be unable to meet you at the station... as I have to open a cattle show"." "Apparently cows are more important to him than we." "One goes to Vienna and one's own cousin doesn't even come to the station." "Trying to show off." "Big businessman." "That's always the way with relations." "Who are these people anyway?" "A thousand years ago they were even smaller than we." "It's only in the last 700 years they've got anywhere." "Social climbers." "This sounds much better." ""You will, of course, be my guests at the palace." "My whole empire is at your convenience"." "Turn out the guard!" "Eyes right!" ""My daughter is no laughing matter, states visiting king"." "Yes." "That's my statement." " And I hope you stick to it, Daddy." " Always, my daughter." "Now, I hope you feel better." "No." "I'm sorry, Father, but I don't." "This humiliation is too much." "I know a princess can't be insulted by a common lieutenant." "I should be far above that." "But besides being a princess..." "I'm a girl." "Your Majesty, we promise the fullest satisfaction." "This officer will be brought for trial at once before a military court." "Not if I can help it." "I don't trust your courts." "I don't trust your justice at all." "In your country, cows travel faster than kings." "You call that justice?" "That's graft." "Bring him here." "I'll give him a fair trial." "Let him dare explain that laugh." "If he does, he'll hang." "No, but they can't punish you." "You never laughed at that small-town princess." "Why don't you tell them what really happened?" "No, darling." "That would make it worse." "An officer on duty presenting arms before passing royalty... and smiling at the girl he loves." "No, there is no excuse from a military point of view." "But from my point of view..." "what an excuse." "It's for you, sir." "Don't cry, darling." "Don't cry." "Don't worry." "Everything will be all right." "No, darling." "And remember." "Remember what Napoleon said before he went to Elba:" "So long." "Court-martial?" "No." "Worse." "The king himself." "You realize in whose presence you're standing?" "Yes, sire." "In the presence of His Majesty King Adolf XV of Flausenthurm." "How do you spell Flausenthurm?" "F-L-A-U..." "S-E-N-T..." "H..." " U-R-M." " Not bad." "What a speller." "He certainly knows his alphabet." "What do you say to this?" "Oh, this picture doesn't do you justice, Your Majesty." "Well, how do you like this?" "I like it." "Here." "Here you look like a million dollars." "Oh, this is great!" "This is wonderful." "That's what I call photography." "Just a dream." "Your Majesty, this interview is no laughing matter." "Right, Your Highness." "You laughed at a royal princess." " Do you know the penalty?" " I know it, sire." " Well, why did you do it?" " We want the truth." "And nothing but the truth." "Your Majesty..." "Your Highness..." "Ladies of the ju..." "I was standing at attention... presenting arms..." "Looking straight ahead... and suddenly I found myself looking at the most beautiful girl." "How dare you call Her Royal Highness a girl." "Yes, Your Majesty." "That's my crime." "Thank you." "I confess it." "When I saw Her Highness... so young, so charming... so beautiful..." "I forgot everything, my rank, my duty." "I smiled." "My princess, now you know my crime." "If you consider me unworthy of my rank..." "I put my fate in your lovely little hands." " You son of a gun." " Yes, sire." " Wait outside!" " Yes, sire." "Yes, sire!" "I like the persons around me to look nice." " Does that mean that I..." " Yes." "Father just talked with Uncle." "I mean, His Majesty has arranged it with the emperor... that you shall be our adjutant during our stay in Vienna." "I'm overwhelmed, Your Highness." "I hope you'll do your best to make us like Vienna." "Vienna speaks for itself, Your Highness." "If Your Highness will be good enough to look out of the window... there is the famous old tower of the Stephen's Church." "To the right we have the St. Paul's dome... and directly across, we have with us tonight..." "I mean, there is the church of the Capuchin monks." "I don't care about these old buildings." "We have so many in Flausenthurm." "I like best things that are young and beautiful and alive." " Don't you?" " Oh, yes." "Of course." "Tell me." "When you saw me first... what was your impression?" "That you are so beautiful, Your Highness." "And then, when you thought I was so..." " So beautiful, Your Highness." " Yes." "Then... why did you smile?" "Because I thought that you are so beautiful, Your Highness." "I want to ask you something." "You see, I don't know very much about life." "I got all my knowledge out of the royal encyclopedia." "A special edition arranged for Flausenthurm... with all the interesting things left out." "Now, when you smiled at me, you also did something else." "Something with your eye." " What's that?" " A wink." "A wink." "What does it mean?" "When we like somebody... we smile." "But when we want to do something about it we wink." "Thank you." "That's enough for today." "Franzi!" "Niki!" "An eight-hour day is enough, cherie" "To act as the princess's guide" "And that leaves a 12-hour night for me" "So we'll all be quite satisfied" "Tell me, Niki." "Is the princess a blonde or a brunette?" "To tell you the truth, I don't know." "Darling!" "With 12 hours here and with eight hours there" "Who gets the four hours in between" "I must have a moment to comb my hair" "And see that my buttons are clean" "Oh, you see, Niki, it's not that I'm jealous... but someday you may meet a girl." "Nobody can play the violin like you." "Forget everything in the world but me" "Forget if it's wrong or it's right" "The more that we have to forget you see" "Well, the more we'll remember tonight" "He's gracious not audacious" "And romance wakes at his touch" "I like him." "I like him." "I like him so much" "I love you and I hate you" "My darling what have I done" "I'll thrill you till I kill you" "You son of a gun" "He's so mild like a sweet child" "His conduct shows him as such" "I like him" "I like him" "I like him so much" "You devil Say you love me" "Believe me you are the one" "You brute, you I could shoot you" "You son of a gun" "You put madness in the moonlight" "T.N.T. in each caress" "In every sigh you put such high explosive" "I send out an S.O.S." "I see him now" "So modest and so gentle" "So sentimental" "Forever" "He has changed" "The world for me" "There's dynamite in all your kisses" "You and I know this is love" "Napoleon was a lieutenant too... and an Austrian princess married him." " Well, he's no Napoleon." " Right." "He's 10 times better looking." " Oh, Papa." "Have a heart." " No." " Say yes." " No." "Don't you get tired of saying "no" all day long?" "No, no." "Now, now, no." "Papa, you may not realize it, but I'm desperate." "I'm no longer responsible." "I'm capable of anything." "If you don't let me have my lieutenant... you know what I'm going to do?" "What?" "I'm going to marry an American." "Give me the emperor." "Oh, good evening, Emp." "Yes." "This is Adolf speaking." "Yes, thank you." "Same to you." "Now listen, Emp." "I want to tell you something very confidential." "Now keep this under your crown." "My little Anna is in love." "What?" "You know all about it?" "The whole palace knows?" "Yes." "She wants to marry him." "Now, what do you think of Anna marrying an ordinary lieutenant?" "What?" "What?" "Oh, you think it's a great thing for Flausenthurm, eh?" "Well, let me tell you, it's a great thing for Austria too." "So long." "I'm not at home" "Colonel Rockoff, His Majesty's adjutant... who is here in this room standing right beside me... wishes to see you." "Lieutenant, I'm here on a very confidential mission." "Her Highness, the Princess Anna, wanted to talk to you." "But before talking to you, naturally, she took up the matter with her father, His Majesty, the king." "His Majesty, the king, decided that Her Highness, the princess, should not talk to you first." "On the contrary, you should first talk to Her Highness, the princess." "But before talking to the princess, His Majesty, the king, wants you to talk to him... so that he can give you permission to talk to the princess." "But then we all got together and had a little talk, and we came to the conclusion... that under the royal Flausenthurm etiquette... you, being an ordinary lieutenant, cannot do the talking at all." "You understand?" "Perfectly." "May I ask what you are talking about?" "In one word, Lieutenant, please don't you propose to the princess." "But I never intended to, and I never will." "Thank you." "Congratulations." "Morning." "Hello?" "Who is it?" "This is Lily." "Yes, Lily." "Congratulations?" "What for?" "My engagement to the princess?" "You don't know?" "I have inside information." "I had supper with the king last night." "Yes!" "Kings have to eat too." "Darling, you believe me." "I don't know a thing about this." "Of course." "Of course I believe you." "Niki, they can't take you away from me." "They won't." "Everything will be all right." "I know it." "I'll be back, and I won't be long." "You son-in-law!" "Your Majesty, this has gone far enough." "Turn out the guard!" "The emperor's coming." "Now this is going too far." "Right, Your Majesty." "Flausenthurm is too far for me." "I cannot do it." "Don't you understand?" "I'm a Viennese, and I love this city." "I can't live without Vienna." "You can't tear a tree out of the ground and plant it somewhere else." "Tree, tree, tree!" "This has nothing to do with biology!" "When you winked at my daughter, were your intentions honorable?" " They were." " Well, then naturally you'll marry her." "My intentions were dishonorable!" "Then you will have to marry her." "Supreme and imperial majesty, the emperor." "We congratulate you." "It's a great thing for Austria... too." "We here with confirm, officially... the fact of your betrothal." "Do you, Colonel Rockoff, in the interest of the bridegroom, find everything fitting?" "I do." "Do you, Baroness von Schwedel, in the interest of the bride, find everything proper?" "Then you both agree that everything is fitting and proper?" " We do." " We do." "I here with pronounce this royal bedchamber... a royal bedchamber." "Here with pronounce this royal wedding day... a royal wedding night." "Good night, dear." "What?" " Aren't we married?" " Yes!" " Aren't you my wife?" " Yes." " Am I not your husband?" " Yes." "Now, can't I call you "dear" when I say good night?" "Well, you may call me "dear,' but you shouldn't say good night." "But it's 9:30." "And at this hour, "good night" is the only proper thing to say." " You don't understand." " What?" " Niki." " Yes, Anna?" " Niki!" " Yes, Anna?" "Married people don't do that." " They don't?" " Oh, no!" "Married people don't wink?" "Yes, they wink... but not at each other." "Well, what's the use of getting married?" "All the philosophers, for 3,000 years... have tried to find that out... and they failed." "And I don't think we'll solve that problem tonight." "Good night." "Let me tell you something." "You can lead a horse to water... but you can't make him drink." "That's as far as I go." "That's my limit." "Black or white?" "I don't want to play checkers!" "Why don't you try it?" "I personally ordered it for you." " Thank you." " It's real Vienna schnitzel." "Vienna schnitzel." "Schnitzel to you." "That's enough." "You know what you are?" "You are anti-Flausenthurm." "You wouldn't like this schnitzel even if it was good." "Schnitzel to me?" "Ha!" "Let me tell you." "That schnitzel came from an imported Viennese cow." "Imported especially for you." "Poor cow." "To start life in Vienna... and end it in Flausenthurm." "As a gentleman, I say thank you." "As a Viennese, I say moo!" "Stop." "Down with that curtain." "What have I done?" "No questions!" "Come on." "You can't take her." "If you please." "Now, that's what I call schnitzel." "You know, Niki, we shouldn't do this." "Oh, no." "We shouldn't." "I shouldn't be here at all." "Oh, no." "You shouldn't." "Oh, but I couldn't help it." "I had to see your wedding." "I didn't want you to know." "Just one glimpse of you as a prince... and then disappear." "But then I saw you yesterday." "In that marriage carriage?" "Then I saw your face... so sad, so dreary... so lonesome... and I thought..." "I might just as well... hang around a little while." "But you cannot hang around in Flausenthurm... without being arrested." "When I saw you, I simply couldn't wait until the concert was over." "So I called the copper." "What's the use of being married to a princess... if you cannot use the police department?" "Good night, my child." "I guess so." "Hello, folks." "How's everything?" "Daddy!" "Great little kingdom you have here." "Ach, du lieber Flausenthurm Flausenthurm, Flausenthurm" "Ach, du lieber Flausenthurm Flausenthurm, Flausenthurm" "Ach, du lieber Flausenthurm Flausenthurm, Flausenthurm" "Ach, du lieber Flausenthurm Flausenthurm, Flausenthurm" "He danced with me." "And he called me Daddy." "Father, what does it mean when a man steps out?" "Well, why, I-I don't know." "Why?" " You know who's stepping out?" " Who?" "Niki." "Oh, well, now." "Let me tell you what it means to step out." "So that's what she does, eh?" " Plays the violin." " Yes, Papa." "And in public." "Tell me, Papa." "Now, be frank." "Do all girls like that play the violin?" "Well, not necessarily." "But I'll tell you one thing." "They play." "Well, I can play too." " You want to arrest me?" " Right." "You wonderful man!" "Go ahead, girls." "Go on." "Come on." "Make yourself comfortable, as usual." " From Vienna?" " Yes." "Nice, isn't it?" "It's from Mandelbaum  Gruenstein." " Mandelbaum  Gruenstein?" " Yes." "Oh, it's the only place to buy." "Oh, of course, they rob you, but it's worth it." "Who bought that for you?" "Who bought that for you?" "Not Niki." "I'm sure he didn't." "Niki has taste." "Did I hurt you?" "No." "Did I hurt you?" "Yes." "Why did you get me here?" "I wanted to kill you." "You poor little thing, you." "I love him so dearly." "I'm just wild about him." "I don't blame you." " Isn't he good-looking?" " Oh, and how!" "That's it exactly. "And how!"" " Did you see him in his new uniform?" " At the wedding?" " Yes." " Stunning." "But to tell you the truth, I like him even better in his dinner coat." " With the straw hat?" " Yes!" "With the straw hat!" "Oh, that's nothing." "Did you ever see him in..." "Oh, never mind." "You listen to me, you foolish little thing." "If you don't watch out, someday a girl will come along and take him away from you." " Oh, do you play?" " Yes." ""Etude for Five Fingers!"" ""Cloister Bells"?" ""Maiden's Prayer!"" "Let me see your underwear." ""Cloister Bells!"" "That's the kind of music you should play." "Jazz up your lingerie" "Just like a melody" "There's music when every ribbon has a flowing rhythm" "Wear lace in harmony" "A silken symphony" "It's music and just the right note for you" "Color should be seen" "Let your step-ins have no dull or gray tones" "Wear your crepe de chine with some pep" "In up-to-date hey, hey tones" "Jazz up your lingerie" "Just like a melody" "Be happy Choose snappy music to wear" "Jazz up your teddy bear" "I wonder if I dare" " Jazz up" " I'll try to" " Jazz" " I'd like to" " Come on" " I mean to" "Wake up Try something new" "That's what I've got to do" " Wake up" " I'll show them" " Great" " I'll teach them" " Get hot" " I'll try" " Tra-la-la, la-la" " Oh, not so hot" "It sounds like 1850" "You've got it now!" "Let's simply jazz up your lingerie" "Just like a melody" "Be happy Choose snappy music to wear" "Good-bye, Anna." "Oh, now you mustn't worry about me." "I knew it all the time." "Girls who start with breakfast... don't usually stay for supper." "Take good care of our Niki." "I will." "And be a good girl." "I won't." "Good-bye, Anna." "Good-bye, Franzi." "Anna, is this you?" "This is Mandelbaum  Gruenstein." "That's me!" "And that's me again." "I've found at home my rata-ta, ta-ta-ta-ta" "There'll be no more campaigning" "And she'll find me Oh, rata-ta, ta-ta-ta-ta" "And so I'm not complaining" "I found a new commander to obey" "I must report for duty right away" "She'll never pension me" "Toujours I'amour in the army"