"Previously on Weeds..." "Is it true that once a white woman's been with a carpenter, She never goes back?" "Life-insurance check made out to nancy scottson." "Shouldn't be any trouble to cash." "Look at that." "You owe me some money." "How much?" "I need $100,000." "Majestic ischecking their books tomorrow." "I might have access to some money." "I had a little emergency." "You'regonna have it back in a month." "This is a scam,right?" "It's just my way of saying,thank you for your help." "I look so happy." "We're looking downa long road here,Mrs.hodes." "Not me." "We are getting a divorce." "There's no one else but you." "Oh,god." " I quit." " Bullshit." "Oh,yeah." "I'm bad.Punish me." "Weeds Season03 Episode11" "How could you leave all this?" "A better,more lucrative opportunity has presented itself." "Besides,we both know you'll soon be off to build another just-add-water insta-town." "Utopian village,nancy." "Where are you going?" "A company called aguatecture." "It's all good." "Well,would you give me a few days to find someone new" "And maybe fuck you a few more times?" "Yes,and maybe." "Just let yourself in." "Is your mom around?" "I'm starting to think you just like me for my mother." "Excuse me?" "Who's the one that's been living in a grow house?" "It makes a girl feel like she can't get any attention unless she's a pot plant." "How about we take a trip upstairs..." "And i check your bud..." "And your stems..." "Oh,sorry." "I have to go." "Hey,well,hold on a sec." "Who's the honker?" "Kenneth." "We're gonna go see laser bach at the greek." "You're going on a date?" "Yes,and now i'm late." " Hey..." " What's up?" "I thought you were dating me." "I am." "You can't date both of us." "It's not like that with kenneth,okay?" "He meets my cultural needs, and you engage my sensual/sexual side." "I'm just something for you to rub up against?" "Silas,don't do this." "I have to go." "I'll see you tomorrow." "We'll dialogue." "Oh,shit." "You." "Me -- carrying cash." "See?" "Have a little faith." "That looks awfully thin for 100 grand." "I'm doing the best i can." "Little faith -- that's exactly what i've got for you." "This is how fucking broke i am." "He was dirty." "So was his partner." "They took money whenever they could." "I know." "I lived with the creep for a decade." "He hid it somewhere." "Believe me,it's out there." "And the legit stuff -- the life insurance,the pension?" "Wife two's got it." "And she put in,what,six months with the bastard?" "I'm raising his child,and i'm begging her for money?" "I don't think so." "That's my goddamn fucking money." "And i'm telling you,she played him." "I know it." "What?" "Suddenly he gets married and then winds up dead?" "Does that make sense to you?" "That bitch knows something." "I'll need a retainer." "I'm on it." "Doug:this is bullshit." "You can't just toss us asidelike we're regular people." "We're elected officials!" "I'm an elected official." "You were elected by a citythat no longer exists." "And coarse languagewill not be tolerated here." "Fuck you,carilli." "We have jobs we expect to keep." "We have contracts with the citywe expect to be honored." "I expect mineto be honored." "Wilson,if you cannot controlthat vile mouth of yours," "I will have you thrown outof this meeting." "Oh,don't you getall pious on me." "You promised we'd get absorbedinto the machine here,that i'd get absorbed." "And as citizens of majestic," "You all have the rightto run for office in the next electionone year from now." "Oh,horseshit!" "Any city councilwith a half a brain has got the system" "So juiced up no one new has a prayerof getting elected." "Yeah,i want mylandscaping contract back!" "I am sorry,but all the landscapingis handled" "By the majestic ministriesdevelopment corporation." "If we can'tget satisfaction here," "We willget it in the streets." "Yeah!" "People!" "People!" "There are other ways you canserve the fine city of majestic." "You can volunteerfor a municipal program." "Volunteeringis for saps." "We expect to feed off the tit oflocal government just like you." "I'm afraid that all yourcontracts and positions are now null and voidper the referendum." "There is very little moreto be said!" "Mr.wilson,this councilis not finished looking into your questionableinvestment in aguatecture." "Don't you bang that gavel at me,you sanctimonious jesus freak!" "You know,your long skirtisn't long enough,lady." "I saw your fat ankles --calf,right into ankle." "Cankles!" "That's it!" "Cankles!" "That is it!" "That is it!" "This meeting is adjourned!" "Cankle bitch!" "Cankle bitch!" "Cankle bitch!" "How dare you?" "Rude and vulgar!" "You too!" "Man cankles!" "Mankles!" "Douglas,we need to have a word." "Okay." "How about die?" "How aboutaguatecture?" "How aboutnone of your business?" "Hey,how muchdo you know about it?" "Not enough." "Mom,we got toget rid of tara." "Really?" "She's untrustworthy." "Last i counted,she was right on." "And she wraps her money inthose cute little jesus ribbons." "I'm thinkingshe's a keeper." "Look,i know you saidnot to involve tara." "That's right,i did." "And i knowthat you were worried that i would maybebreak up with her." " Let me guess --i was psychic?" " You were right." "Okay,you were right,and i was wrong." "I get it." "I got it." "But we need toget rid of her." "No,my dear." "You need to suck it up and make nice." "So,that's it?" "You're picking herover me?" "Why can't youback me up for once?" "This is notyour mommy talking." "This is your boss." "So i suggestyou listen to now." "What?" "Tara's my top earner." "And when you bring inwhat she brings in without getting emotionalor fucking up, You can make demands." "But until then,keep your head down and learn." "She stays..." "And you get over it." "Now..." "As your mother..." "I am sorry it's not working outbetween the two of you." "I'm sorryif she hurt you." "Little bitch." "You'retoo good for her." "And i love youvery much." "And you could usea haircut." "What's withthe banging in the morning?" "Mom says we need tobeef up security." "That little thing's a camera?" "Cool,huh?" "And i can broadcast the imageto any computer in the house." "Hey,could we pointone of those next door?" "Jordan klien's home from collegefor summer break." "I can't spend all my timewaiting for her to get naked one window up" "And three acrossfrom my side of the house." "I got things to do." "Your fatherwas good with tools -- always building things,fixing things." "I had to gothe other way." "Which way is that?" "Destroying things,blowing stuff up." "Pretty good at it,too." "Unfortunately,not much of a market for that particular skillwhen you grow up," "Unlessyou're a terrorist." "You could dospecial effects for movies," "Blow tunnels through mountains,building demolition,mining." "Blowing shit upis not just for terrorists." "Don't let themtake that away from you." " hey,guys." " hey,sanjay." "Looking mighty,mighty homosexual today." "Way to own it,sister." "My friend isabelis a lesbian." "If i bump into her atnorth valley gay pasta night,i'll say hey." "Is nancy home?" "I need to restock." "How much you need?" "I'll hook you up." "I could useabout half a pound." "Back in two shakes." " Is that little thinga camera?" " Yeah." "Oh,it's adorable." "So,you didn't knowyou liked guys?" "Is there something you'dlike to talk about,shane?" "Are youfeeling confused?" "No,i always thoughtyou were gay." "Okay..." "Good to go." "Thanks." "You have arrived at your destination." "The route guidance is now finished." "Thank you for guiding meto the fucking post-apocalypse." "Yes,wonderful." "Richest country in the world." "Glad to seeyou're taking advantage of the opportunities offered." "AGUATECTURE FOUNTAIN-COMPANY" "Can i help you?" "Where's your owner?" "I'm sorry." "The owner of this place." "Who wants to know?" "I would like tospeak to someone who can tell mewhat goes on here." "What you seeis pretty much what you get -- fountains..." "Shaped like houses." "Fountainsshaped like houses." "We got indoor,outdoor,tudor,victorian." "Used to havea craftsman split level,but we sold out of that." "Different houses withwater flushing out the windows." "Aguatecture." "You're soaking in it." "And i'm to believe thataguatecture attracts investors?" "Who on earth would buythese tacky things?" "Look,if you don't wantnone of our tacky things," "How about youget the fuck on out?" "We closed." "Where's the owner?" "Is he in back?" "She's right in front of you." "What's in the back?" "Ain't nothing back therebut files and inventory." "That's fine." "Need to usethe restroom,anyway." "Toilet's broke." "Just gonnawash my hands." "You can dip them in thatfountain on the way out." "Now,i done asked you nice." "Now,you all alonein a strange place." "Think it through,now,girl." "There you go." "Thank youfor your time." "Hey,we all out of the,um..." "Carpenter." "Who?" "I'm sorry." "You look likesomebody i,um..." "I don't know." "I've,um..." "Bye." "Okay,who the fuck was that?" "I don't know." "Maybe we should ask conrad." "Mom,i need toshow you something." "Oh,no." "Shane,no more tutorials." "It's not a tutorial." "It's feed from earlier." " So?" " It's the pool guy..." "Checking us outtwice in one day." " Is he a cop?" " I don't know." "That would suck." "Yes." " Yes,it sure would." " Look at this." "Whenwas this one taken?" "It's the live feed." "It's the same guy." "He's out there right now." "Who are you?" "Just surveyingthe water lines,ma'am." "You haven't hadany problems,have you?" "You're not surveyingthe water lines." "And you're not a fuckingpool cleaner,either." "Who the hell are you?" "Private investigator." "You mind if i have that back?" "I'm running kind of low." " What do you wantfrom me?" " Let's walk." "My clientis interested in finding outa whole lot about you." "What client?" "Not at libertyto divulge that." "But you can tell me thatyou're a private investigator." "Yes,i'm comfortablewith that." "I'm comfortablebecause i feel..." " You and ican do business together." " Really?" "I have a strong feeling,in fact,that in exchangefor my discretion " "With the police,with my client " "Dealingwith your illegal activities Vismarijuana trafficking, you might want togive me some money." "I have no ideawhat you're talking about." "Ah,that doesn't matter." "I have pictures --dealers coming and going." "I even followed one -- the gayindian kid -- on his rounds." "I have cellphone wiretaps." "Some of it's static-ridden." "I guess it's time to investing that newer technology." "But yougetting the idea?" "Isn't that what pellicano'sgoing to jail for -- illegal wiretaps?" "Inadmissible in court,absolutely." "Illegal?" "Yeah." "But if theywere to show up anonymously at the d.e.a.office," "I bet an extensiveinvestigation would ensue." "How much do you want?" "Hey,i'm not greedy." "I work for a living." " 50 thouought to do the trick." " Fuck me!" "Tempting,but i likeblondes with big,fake tits." "I'll have it in cash." " 10000 - 50000" " 20000 - 50,000!" "Come on." "Please?" "You can buy plenty of blondeswith big,fake tits for $20,000." "Okay,sinceyou asked so nice..." "God,you're a real prick." "I know." "You and my wifewould totally bond on that." "So,anyhoo,here'swhat you're gonna do." "Meet me heretomorrow morning at 10:00with the moola." "Look,it's gonna take mea little more time than 24 hours to come upwith that much money." "You're a drug dealer." "With expenses." "Consider thisone of them." "Hasta la tomorra!" "Celia:son of a bitch." "Oh,look who's here." "My family." "Hey,family." "Did you knowthat we're poor?" "We're really poor." "Maybe we should cut downon our liquor purchases." "Oh,no." "All the poor drink." "Yeah,i sawthe poor this morning." "They all had bottlesin paper bags." "That's what i need --a paper bag." "Wonderful idea." "You couldput your bottle in it and then vomit in itwhen you're done." "I don't vomitfrom drinking." "I vomit wheni think about my life." "Isabel,why don't yougo for another walk?" "See?" "I'm not the only one whothinks she needs more exercise." "I don't thinkyou should be alone with her." "It's okay,honey." "Why don't you go to shane'shouse or something?" "Fine." "I'll call in later." "Shane's house." "I will rock the house of shanebefore i'm done." "Make some coffee,celia." "Oh,not so fast,roller-boy." "Aguatecture." "I don't knowwhat you're talking about." "Agua-tec-ture." " I don't knowwhat you're talking about." " Fine" "And even if i did,i wouldn't tell you." "What the fuck?" "Tell meeverything." "You're insane." "Yes,i amfucking insane." "Tell..." "Me..." "Everything." "Oh,god!" "God damn it!" "Up until this point,i have avoided your nuts" "Because god knows what is insidethat fucking diaper of yours." "But so help me,if you don't come clean," "I will make sure a catheter is a permanentpart of your anatomy." " Bitch." " Perhaps." "God!" "God!" "Talk to me." "Fuck..." "You!" "Okay,i'm done playing." "Balls are next." "Okay!" "Okay,please." "Please don't hurt me anymore." "I'll talk." "Pleasedon't hurt me anymore." "Aguatecture." "Aguatecture!" "I'll tell you." "Just take your foot off.Please!" "God,i'll tell you everything!" "Lovely morning." "It dependswhere you're sitting." "Aw,it's notso terrible." "You'll make more money." "There's always more money in your line of work." "And there'salways more blackmail." "What's to stop youfrom coming back?" "I give you my word." "You're blackmailing me." "You've threatened to destroymy life unless i give you money." "Yes." "I promise i'll neverdo it again." "Cross my heart." " I have kids." " I know." "Took their pictures." "Handsome boys." "Can i have my money now?" "They're not just handsome." "They're also smart,especially shane." "Off the charts." "There's a $100 buy-inat commerce in an hour, and i'd reallylike to be there." "You're mugging me -- you'll take a minuteto listen to what i have to say." "My smart son,shane,took me to a store yesterday " " Panorama city --off the 405. - ********" "Spyware store." "You ever been there?" "It was my first time." "I bought myselfa teeny little microphone that you hideinside your blouse." "Recordseverything you say..." "Transmits it backto shane's computer -- actually,any computer." "Only $49.95" "Technology'scome a long way." "And sinceblackmailing's a felony,even when you do itto alleged drug dealers, you probably want me to keepthis conversation to myself." "So,i guess whatwe have here is a détente." "You tell the police what i dofor a living,not good for me." "I tell the policeyou blackmailed me,not good for you." "Understood." "Now..." "I don't knowho your client is,but i have a pretty good idea." "Whether you tell her whati do for a living is up to you," "But i stronglyadvise against it." "This is for me?" "It's a lovely morningafter all!" "Oh,go fuck yourself." "If i could,i'd save a fortunein strippers and alimony." "I'm off to commerce." "You wish me luck?" "So,how much do youhave for me this time?" "$500?" "$200?" "Some loose change?" " I don't have anything." " Shocking." " And it's your fault." " How's that?" "The private investigatoryou hired shook me down," "Took all the moneyi was gonna give you." "Shook you down --for what?" "None of yourgoddamn business." "But nowi have nothing." "And frankly..." "I'm pissed." " You're pissed?" " Yeah." "You didn't trust me,and you really should have." "I was gonnaget you your money." " Sure you were." " I was." "And by the way,it wasn't even your money." "I was legallyentitled to it." "Mrs.Scottsonnumber two." "Me." "Not you." "But now it's his,and that isn't my fault." "So i guess the whole pointis moot,actually." "Thenwhy are you here?" "I thought..." "I needed a friend." "I don't need a friend." "I don't need anybody." "Don't call me." "Bye." "Please tell me you werejust in the neighborhood." "Your friend celiacame to aguatecture." "How the hell?" "Did she see anything?" "What does she know?" "I was wonderingthe same thing,so i gave her a call, 'Cause i still had her number." "She told me to tell you sheknows you fucked her boyfriend" "And she knowsyou're dealing again..." "And she'll be in touch." "She'll be in touch." "How bad is this,nancy?" "Weeds Season03 Episode11"