"[dramatic music playing]" "NARRATOR:" "This jungle, the vast wilderness of giant, lush foliage, of tropical birds, and fierce animal life; the killer tiger, the cunning hyena, the deadly python that can crush a giant elk." "The proud lion, a fierce lioness stalking a prey to feed her young." "[animal cry]" "And the buzzards, the scavengers of the jungle soaring lower, ever lower, eager to devour the dead or the dying." "Kill or be killed." "This is the law of the jungle." "And here?" "What have we here?" "Who are these men?" "What can they possibly be doing in this cruel, tropical wilderness?" "[non-english speech]" "[heated non-english speech]" "Father, don't let him kill them." "No, no. [Non-english speech] [non-english speech]" "No!" "[heated non-english speech]" "Ah!" "[non-english speech]" "Have yet discover who is this man?" "Well not yet, father." "Look, father." "I think one of them is named Mervyn." "Mervyn?" "Mervyn?" "Who said that?" "Which one of you is Mervyn?" "Aw lady, you got us mixed up with two other guys. [Laughing]" "My name is Nona." "Hiya, Nona." "I'm Duke Mitchell." "How do you do?" "Where are we?" "What place is this?" "This is north southern fringe of the Zamboanga group, the Island of Cola Cola." "Cola Cola?" "Sounds like a commercial for some bubble water." "Ha." "How did we get here?" "Some of our men found you lying in the jungle and carried you here." "Yeah?" "Why don't we offer carrying charges?" "[Laughing]" "Get it?" "Carrying charges?" "Funny line." "Let's laugh it up here, lady. [Laughs]" "Oh." "Come here." "How did you get lost in the jungle?" "Well, we were on our way to do a show for the boys in Guam." "We were in a plane, high over the Pacific." "Sammy goes to look for the powder room, and he couldn't find it." "I went there to show him." "I walked through the wrong door." "Like a dope, he follows me." "Yeah." "Lucky thing we had on parachutes." "Yeah." "We were lost in a vast wilderness." "We lived on wild berries and raw fish." "Tastes much better than the raw fish living on us." "You have nothing to worry about." "My father, the chief, will see that you're well cared for." "Me, Chief Rakos, king of this island." "Well gee, you sure look super, chief." "Super chief, get it?" "[Laughing]" "Sh." "Hiya, chief." "I'm Duke Mitchell." "This is my partner, Sammy Petrillo." "You know, Mitchell like the cello songs, dances, and sloppy patter?" "Have tuxedo, will travel, but not this far." "Welcome to our island." "We are honored." "Our house is yours." "Yeah?" "Well, remind me to get some new wallpaper in here, will you?" "Sh." "[non-english speech]" "Ah." "[non-english speech]" "Tonight, we have great luau to celebrate you." "Might be [inaudible] dance for you." "Gee, that sounds great." "We'll do likewise, I'm sure." "I have this number." "(SINGING) Too, do, do." "Shake it kid, shake it." "Go, go, go, go dad, go." "Hey, Cut, it out." "Don't mind my friend." "He's young." "He's foolish." "No doubt." "Come." "See that?" "You made your chief mad." "That's OK." "He wasn't a good dancer anyway." "You know some day, I'm going to let you fly in your own grease?" "Couldn't you make it chicken fat maybe?" "[drums playing]" "Who ever heard of eating off the floor?" "What's the matter?" "Can't they afford chairs?" "Sh." "[non-english speech]" "[shouting non-english speech]" "OK." "Since when do you talk in native language?" "I just started today." "Well, what'd he say?" "What'd he say?" "I don't even know what I said." "Now, don't hit me, Duke." "He hiked me in the head." "That's a wonderful dance they're doing." "My people are happy to entertain you." "Well, Sammy and I really appreciate it." "Yeah." "Well, I'd be more entertained if I had a pretty girl to talk to." "Hey girl, why can Duke have all the meat and potatoes?" "Meat and potatoes?" "Don't mind my friend." "He speaks in a vernacular." "I do?" "Gee." "(SINGING) Gee, I want a girl just like the girl..." "That's easy." "I'll call my sister." "You have a sister?" "Yes." "Oh, boy. [Laughs]" "Saloma!" "SALOMA (INSIDE):" "Yes?" "Come here." "Wowee." "She's got a sister, and she's all for me, Dukie." "Ha." "Lots of luck." "Yes?" "I have very nice friend for you." "SALOMA:" "Oh?" "See?" "The little one." "Eh..." "Dukie, and it's all for me." "[crying] Dukie, no, no, no!" "Oh." "I like." "Go." "This is Saloma." "This is your sister?" "My baby sister." "Saloma, this is Sammy." "Well, it's been nice knowing you." "So long, salami." "Saloma like you." "Saloma think you're beautiful." "Saloma needs glasses." "You eat." "Listen, I don't want to eat." "Thank you." "You eat." "No, I told you I don't want to eat." "Hey Dukie, I've got to get away from this blimp, or she'll kill me." "Well, you asked for it." "I got it." "When locked in the corner, do a routine." " Go." " Great." "You eat?" "Oh. [Mumbling] Will you let go of my shirt?" "What are you trying to feed me for?" "You're not my mother." "You can't feed me." "Saloma!" "No [non-english word]" "Aw." "No [non-english word]." "Yeah?" "Well, I've been eating for a long time." "I know how to feed myself." "I've been feeding myself ever since I was a little boy, do you understand?" "[non-english speech]" "Oh." "Well, good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to Showtime At The Royal Tahitian." "And what a wonderful show we have lined up for you tonight." "As you know, this is my first visit to the beautiful island of Cola Cola, and I want to say that the climate is wonderful." "Really makes a guy feel full of Pepsi." "Get it?" "Cola, Pepsi?" "Pepsi Cola?" "[Laughs]" "(DEEP VOICE) Gentlemen of the jury," "I'd like to ask the prisoner one question." "Have you ever been up before Judge Smith?" "(NASAL VOICE)" "I don't know." "What time does Judge Smith get up?" "[Laughs]" "You want to hear a funny one?" "On the way over to the island, the fellow stopped me at a coconut tree." "And he said, I hadn't had a bike for three days." "You know what I did?" "I bit him." "[laughing]" "Wh... what'd he say?" "[non-english speech] [laughing]" "Ha, ha." "Well, I knew you'd get one of them eventually." "(SINGING) All I ever mean, and mean it well." "Listen to this one." "Listen to this one." "Did you take a bath this morning?" "Why?" "Is there one missing?" "[laughing]" "I thought I told you to wait in the truck." "You dance with Saloma?" "Aw, this is ridiculous." "Oh come, dance." "Left your motor running, kid." "I don't want to dance with you." "Let go on the arm, will you?" "You're breaking my arm!" "Hold on, will you let go of the arm already?" "Saloma!" "Wait, let go of me." "Don't get physical." "I can't fight." "Saloma!" "[non-english speech]" "Don't hate me, please." "Ah!" "You think perhaps, she is too rough?" "Probably doesn't know her own strength." "Oh!" "Ah!" "OK." "Saloma!" "[non-english speech]" "My father says do you wish to dance for us?" "Well, I don't dance, but I'll do 8 or 10 tunes for you." "Well, that's fine." "All right." "OK, fellas." "Let's wrap it up." "You, now you." "You." "(SINGING) Do I want you, oh my, do I, baby." "Indeed, I do." "Do I need you." "Oh, I do I, baby." "Of course, I do." "You know that I'm the one who found you." "That's why I'm always hanging around you." "You, I love you." "Oh, I do I... baby." "Indeed, I do." "Oh, yeah." "Saloma think you're beautiful." "(SINGING) Do I want you?" "Oh, I do, I... baby." "Indeed, I do." "Do I need you?" "Oh, I do I, baby." "Of course I do." "You know that I'm the one who found you." "That's why I'm always hanging around you." "Do I love you?" "Oh my, do I?" "Baby, indeed, I do." "Baby, indeed, I do." "Baby, baby, baby, babe because I do." "'Cause baby, yes oh baby." "Oh baby, indeed I do." "[applause]" "Boy, look at that moon." "You wouldn't think it was the same one that was shining over the Bronx, Brooklyn, Coney Island." "But it is." "Yeah, but it's so much bigger and brighter out here." "You sure have a beautiful place to live in." "I've heard about places like this, read about it." "In fact, I've even seen them in movies." "Never really expected to be here though." "Yes." "We have everything here to make us happy;" "a calm, peaceful atmosphere." "No noisy street cars or automobiles, no rushing around in and out of subways." "No smoking factories smudging up the air we breathe." "Say, how come you know about these things?" "And how come you talk like a college girl?" "Perhaps it's because I went to college." "Come again?" "I was sent to your country to be educated." "Someday, I will be queen of this island." "My people would like their queen to be smart." "Well, what do you know?" "Sammy!" "You know, I kind of hate to leave this place." "Then why go?" "Huh?" "Do you have to go?" "Well, we're part of an entertainment group." "We're due to entertain the boys on Guam." "In fact, we're overdue." "How do we get off this island?" "Do any ships stop here?" "Oh, yes." "A ship stops once every two months." "Aw." "We'll have to do better than that." "Perhaps Dr. Zabor can help you." "Dr. Zabor?" "Yes." "He's the only white man on the island." "Well, how come we haven't seen him?" "Where is he?" "He lives on the other side of the island." "He's a scientist working on an experiment in evolution." "He's very clever, and we are in the mist of a series of..." "Did you say we?" "Yes." "You see, he hired me as his assistant." "Oh." "Tomorrow, I shall take you to him." "He'll be very glad to see you both, I'm sure." "Oh, great." "[laughing]" "Hey, Duke?" "Dukie?" "What?" "Oh, never mind." "He went that a way." "Run for your life!" "Run for your life!" "Go on, get out of here." "Run for your life." "SALOMA:" "Sammy." "Maybe I should run from mine too, no?" "Sammy!" "Sammy!" "Oh, pardon me." "[scream]" "Sammy?" "Sammy!" "Leave me alone, will you?" "Get out of here and leave me alone." "[crying]" "Here we are." "Well, nice to see me home." "That's the custom of the island." "No kidding?" "Yes, that's right." "Well, there's a switch." "What other customs do you have?" "Oh, many quaint ones." "I shall tell them to you sometime." "Well it'll be peachy." "I must go." "It's getting late." "Good night." "Wait a minute." "You can't take a guy home and then leave him with just a good night." "No?" "No." "Ah!" "Dukie!" "Ah!" "Dukie!" "Now let me go." "Let me go, will you?" "See?" "Saloma bring you home, yes?" "Yeah." "Thanks loads, but you didn't have to go out of your way." "Shut up, cuckoo." "It's a custom of the island." "Right?" "Right." "Well, we'd better go." "Until tomorrow?" "Come, Saloma." "Good night, my little one." "Get her out of here." "Get out of... get away!" "Ah!" "Get out of here!" " Bye." " Yeah." "Wait for me in the glove compartment, will you?" "Well?" "Well, what?" "Well, aren't you going to carry me across the threshold?" "Get out of here." "How much further do we have to go?" "Oh, not very much." "Well, now I how Livingstone felt when we couldn't find Stanley." "You have that wrong." "It's just vice versa." "It's right to left?" "Vice versa." "Livingston didn't find Stanley." "Stanley found Livingstone." "This visa-visa?" "NONA:" "That's right." "What are you looking for?" "I expect two ton salami to come out here, charging after me at any minute." "Oh, don't worry about that." "She won't." "None of my people venture very close to the castle." "It is forbidden." "Castle?" "What castle?" "The castle where Dr. Zabor lives and works." "Well, how come you go there and work?" "I don't share all the beliefs of my ancestors." "Where is this castle?" "There it is." "Cozy little shack." "I wish it was on 42nd Street and Broadway." "42nd and Broadway?" "What kind of a crack is that?" "Well, if it was on 42nd and Broadway, we'd be standing in front of the auto mat." "And boy, could I use a good cup of coffee right now." "[laughing]" "Come on, Duke." "Hey, hey, hey, wait for me." "This looks like death not only took a holiday, but he got a hangover from taking it." "[door knocking]" "Oh, this looks like Sing Sing." "I've got to get out of here." "What are you worrying about?" "Worried?" "I ain't worried." "Just wish I was back in Brooklyn, playing the lowly spit game, that's all." "Good morning, Chula." "Morning." "Tell Dr. Zabor I am here, and I bring two white prisoners." "I tell master." "Close the door." "Close the door." "Close the door." "Oh, that's me." "Master." "Now what is it, Chula?" "Why do you disturb me?" "The girl, she is here." "This winter, she has to be announced." "She has two men with her, white men." "White men?" "Who are they?" "I not know, master." "Come on, Dukie." "Let's go." "The doctor's probably busy." "And besides, I forgot something at the hut." "What?" "Forgot to stay there." "I'm getting out of here." "Relax, cuckoo." "You want to get off this island, don't you?" "Sure I want to get off the island." "Well, the doctor's going to help us get off, isn't he?" "Yes." "Dr. Z was a very brilliant man." "Brilliant man, huh?" "Anybody who lives in a creep joint like this must be a moronic idiot." "Good morning." "I'm Dr. Zabor." "Welcome to my crib joint." "Oh gosh, I'm sorry, Mr. Idiot." "I didn't mean to call you creep joint or creep joint." "I think nothing of it." "Doctor, I would like you to meet my friends." "Yes?" "Hi, doc." "I'm Duke Mitchell." "It's my partner, Sammy Petrillo." "We were on our way to do a thing." "Don't I know you from someplace?" "I don't think so." "Pst." "Hey Dukie, come here." "I think I know where you know this guy from." "Where?" "Ain't this the fella that goes around with the hands and the faces, biting people out of the neck, and wearing capes?" "You're crazy." "Watch out for bats!" "Wait a minute." "I'll prove it to you." "Watch." "Dr. Zabor?" "Yes?" "Would you do me a favor?" "What is it?" "Make a face." "What?" "Thanks." "See?" "What did I tell you?" "Now go over and apologize." "Ain't going to do it." "Come on, you embarrassed me." "Go over and apolo... come on." "Dr. Zabor?" "Yes?" "What are you gong around, scaring little children for?" "What are you doing?" "What's the matter with you?" "Don't mind him, doc." "He thinks you're the guy that goes around biting little kids out in [inaudible]." "[laughing]" "That's him." "[laughing]" "Doctor, my friends fell out of a plane and landed on the island." "They would like to get back to civilization." "I told them you could help them." "That's possible." "Thank you, doctor." "It may take several days to make arrangements." "In the meantime, please accept my hospitality." "Allow me to furnish you with suitable clothes." "Gee, thanks doc." "But no capes, huh?" "Oh." "[laughs] Chula." "Yes, master?" "Take these men to my room." "Yes, master." "Pick out anything you want from my wardrobe." "When you have changed, Chula will bring you to the study." "Follow Chula." "Come." "A most interesting cranium." "Strange, but interesting." "Really think so?" "Oh, what a charming compliment." "It was very thoughtful for you to bring these men here." "I'm sure I can help them." "I was hoping you would." "I would do anything for you in my power." "Please, Dr. Zibor." "I'll be in the laboratory, doctor." "Why do you treat me so cold, me so cold, my dear?" "You know I love you." "I want you." "Now, what is wrong?" "Why do you not accept my love?" "Please Doctor, must we go over that again?" "Yes, we must." "Certainly nice of you to fix us up like this, Doc." "Yeah." "I always wanted a Palm beach suit." "Thanks." "Very happy to do it." "It's quite a drug store you got here, Doc." "This is my laboratory." "Laboratory?" "No kidding." "Hey Duke, look!" "Looks like the monkey house in the rotten zoo, doesn't it?" "Ha, only smaller, of course." "They are my guinea pigs." "Guinea pigs?" "They look like monkeys to me." "They are monkeys." "Silly boy." "They are so monkeys." "Certainly, they are monkeys." "But they are also guinea pigs for the reason that I use them in my experiments." "Do you understand, yes?" "Oh." "[laughs]" "Hey Doc, what's this?" "Streptococci." "Yeah?" "No kidding. [Laughs] Hello strepped eye and cock eye." "Ha." "Don't mind my friend." "He has a one syllable brain." "I can see that." "What kind of experiments are you making, doctor?" "Oh, I am performing a series of experiments in evolution." "Evolution?" "What's evolution?" "Scientists have proven that all living things originated in a process of evolution." "They also know that there is a growth force that tends to make genetic changes physiologically and morphologically." "Chimpanzees and gorillas are the highest members of the ape family and are the ancestors of man." "Darwin, in his provisional hypothesis of pangenesis assumes that every living cell contains a gemmule which is a hypothetical granular." "I have found the chemical formula that simulates the growth force." "But nature takes years." "I can, in a matter of hours, make a complete embryonic metamorphoses, both physiological and morphological." "Do you understand?" "Well, uh..." "Sure." "Wha...?" "Yeah." "You mean you understood him?" "Uh-huh." " What'd he say?" " What'd he say?" "Well, he was just trying to tell you that due to the gridlines of the cerebrum, which have been perplexed by the fact where the last type of dog had its first origin, you cannot confuse tyrannical and spasmodic conditions when it is..." "Shut up." "Satellite of inconvenience." "Shut up!" "[inaudible] embryonic physic amorphosis," "(MUFFLED) and it's in this... methods, period." "Master, Pepe Bordo here to see you." "And in conclusion, I'd like to add that if he took the embryonic metamorphosis, the only thing..." "Shut up." "[thumping]" "Well, what's he so mad about?" "Oh, Ramona isn't mad." "She just wants to play." "Come, I'll show you." "Well, Ramona?" "Do you like our friends?" "Do you want to come out?" "No, don't let her out." "Don't let her out." "Oh, Ramona's a pet." "She's very tame." "Watch." "All right, Ramona." "Open the door." "Open the door. (GENTLY) Open the door, Ramona." "That's a good girl." "Come out now." "Come out." "That's a good girl." "I want you to meet my friends." "Shake hands with Dukie." "Shake hands." "Hi Ramona." "Good girl." "And oh, I think I want you to kiss Sammy." "No, no, no." "Get her out of here." "Get..." "I don't want her, no." "I don't..." "I don't want to... no, no." "Get her out of..." "Aw, she won't hurt you, Sammy. [Laughing]" " You know something, Dukie?" " What?" "She looks a little like a raisin, huh?" "(LAUGHING) Yeah!" "[laughing]" "Pepe has come for some acid for his batteries, Nona." "Very well, Doctor." "Come on, Ramona." "That's a good girl." "Into your cage." "That's a good little girl." "All right, Pepe." "Thank you." "This is Pepe Bordo." "Mr. Mitchell..." "Hiya Pepe." "How are you, Mr. Bordo?" "Uh, Pepe's representing the law on the island." "Oh, a cop, huh?" "You call them a cop." "My friends are from America." "How did you land here?" "There has been no boat for months." "Oh, we just dropped in." "[laughing]" "They parachuted from a plane." "Oh." "Pepe has the only means of outside communication on the island, the small, wireless outfit." "Gee, maybe you can get us off this island, while there's some passing ship or something." "Yeah." "You know, Morse code... (SINGING) doh, doh, doh, doh, doh, doh." "What does that mean?" "(SINGING) Doh, doh, doh, doh, doh, doh." "Well, my transmit only carries to the neighboring islands, a little over 100 miles." "But some ship may pick her up." "I shall try." "Well, thanks a lot." "Gee, that'll be peachy." "Here you are, Pepe." "Oh, thank you." "And thank you to doctor." "My pleasure." "Gentleman, it's been a pleasure." " Same." " Goodbye." "For me too." "And don't forget... (SINGING) doh, doh, doh, doh, doh, doh!" "[laughing]" "I see you to the door." "Wow." "It'd be great if we could get a ship to stop here, won't it?" "Sure will." "Sooner, the better." "Gee Nona, why didn't you tell us there was a wireless outfit on this island?" "I..." "I just didn't think, I guess." "Well, if the ship stops here, we can go right out to Guam!" "Gee honey, what's the matter?" "Nothing." "Come on, baby." "Don't feel that way." "Come on, baby." "Smile." "It's getting awful sticky around here." "What do you want?" "What?" "What?" "Where do you go?" "[laughs] That's pretty cute, you know?" "Ha." "What are you doing?" "Ah!" "Dukie, get me out of here!" "Help, Dukie!" "Dukie, get me out of here, will you?" "You know something?" "I don't like the way that Dr. Zibor looked at you a couple of times tonight." "And do you know something?" "I don't think Dr. Zibor liked the way you looked at me a couple of times tonight either." "Well, it's just too bad." "I don't know if I like the idea of living there or not." "Why not?" "Well, it's too far from the village and you." "But I'm there every day." "Yeah, but you're always busy." "You can always take me home at night." "Well I, guess that'll have to do until I can think of something better." "I shall have my father invite all of you to dinner some night soon." "Would you like that?" "I can hardly wait." "[laughs]" "Anything else, master?" "No." "Go to bed." "Good night, master." "Good night." "Funny thing." "He knows I'm afraid to be left alone." "Oh, I wouldn't think of letting you go home alone." "I'll see you home." "Well thank you very much, but wouldn't Sammy like to come along?" "Oh, no." "Sammy wouldn't like to come along." "Sammy's tired." "Sammy's tired, Sammy's tired." "How does he know if I'm tired?" "Come to think of it, I am a little tired." "Is that you, boo?" "It's about time you got home." "Lie still." "Go to sleep." "Oh, cut it out, will you?" "Go to sleep." "Hey Duke, what's with the Angora patch?" "Ramona, how did you get up here?" "Come on, you got to go back to your cage." "Come on now, Ramona let's go." "Here baby, come on." "What are you doing with Ramona?" "What am I doing with Ramona?" "Are you kidding?" "I'm upstairs sleeping in my own bed, and very peacefully, mind you." "Next thing I know, this is staring at me right in the kisser." "The whole thing's very ambiguous." "Take her back in her cage." "What?" "Take her back in her cage!" "Alllllll righty!" "All right, Ramona." "Now it's time to go beddy by." "Get into your cage." "Aw, no you don't." "You're not going to lock me in again." "All right." "We'll have none of that tonight." "Now, what do you want?" "Aw, you want I should sit down and rock you to sleep, huh?" "Oh, OK." "Come on, Ramona." "Up we go and over." "(SINGING) Rock-a-bye baby, on the tree top." "When the wind blows." "Cut that now, Ramona." "You've got to go to bed." "The cradle will rock." "(SINGING) Do I want you?" "Oh my, do I baby." "Indeed, I do." "Do I need you?" "Oh." "(SINGING) Rock-a-bye baby on the treetop." "When the wind blows the cradle will rock." "[snoring] [mumbling]" "(SLEEPTALKING) No." "[snoring]" "(SINGING) Vi, va, va, boo, di, di, da, dum." "Di, di, da, dum." "Boy, what a night." "What a moon." "You can reach right up and tough it." "Well, good night." "Sammy in bed?" "No." "Still in the laboratory." "The laboratory?" "What's he doing in there?" "Ha, putting Ramona to bed." "Babysitting for the chimp?" "This, I got to see." "[chimp noises]" "Oh, no." "Now, I've seen everything." "Good night, cuckoo." "Chief Rakos honored to have great doctor visit his humble abode." "And how goes that scientific work?" "Good, I hope." "Huh?" "Oh, yes." "Fine, fine." "Everything is progressing satisfactorily." "That was good." "Mm, this is great." "Try this." "DUKE:" "Hey, I like that." "Hey Duke, get a load of that, will you?" "Does he sleep with that thing on?" "[laughs]" "You eat." "Look, I told you 40 times, get out of here." "I know how to feed myself!" "You got to eat to grow fat." "[mumbling] Get out of here!" "I know how to eat my own food!" "Duke, will you make her stop already?" "Flex your way out of it, kid." "She outweighs me." "[laughing]" "Oh, I get it." "You're going to go out that door." "I'm going to go out this door, and then we're going to meet over here, right?" "Oh, that's a great idea." "Oh by the way, here's the bowl." "You get $0.02 back on it." "Good night." "Sammy." "Sammy!" "[laughing]" "What are you laughing about?" "I was just thinking." "I had to fall out of a plane to meet you." "Baby, when we get back to the States, we're going to have a big wedding, with all the trimmings." "But darling, my father will probably wish me to be married here, with a full tribal ceremony." "OK, OK." "We'll get married in a car bond by a motor man if you want, just so it's you." "This belonged to my great, great grandmother." "In your country, it is the custom for the man to give his sweetheart an engagement ring." "Here, this is the custom." "[humming]" "Where'd you that tune?" "That used to be my favorite tune in college." "No kidding?" "That's right." "That was one of the tunes in our act." "Really?" "(SINGING) Too soon." "It was only part of the game you play." "You're smile only added life to your masquerade." "Too soon." "I'll be more than willing to give my heart too soon for a kiss that offers a world apart." "And just like a fortune teller, I take your hand." "But only misfortune beckons at your command." "You promised a future bright with the early door." "But when I awake tomorrow will you be gone?" "Am I waiting in vain?" "May I kiss you again?" "Please don't hurt me or ever desert me." "Am I too late, too soon?" "To your health, my good doctor." "To yours." "Major Chief Rakos, I thank you for your hospitality." "But it goes late, and I have much to do tomorrow." "Good night." "My pleasure, you count it." "Good night." "Many kisses." "She talked marriage." "She give boy necklace." "Very serious." "Very interesting." "Very interesting." "Chula?" "CHULA:" "Yes, master?" "Open the cage." "All right." "Open it." "Pick her up." "All right." "Lay her down." "She will be big, like gorilla, no?" "No." "I think not." "I think not." "Master, she is back to little monkey." "What is wrong?" "Nothing is wrong, Chula... nothing." "Now I can change a man into a gorilla." "A man to a gorilla." "Not me, master." "Not Chula!" "Please!" "No, Chula, not you." "Good morning, Chula." "Morning." "Good morning." "Good morning." "I'm sorry I'm late, Doctor." "Perfect." "You're right, my dear." "I slept late myself this morning." "I have a surprise for you." "It wasn't strong enough." "It worked, but it wasn't strong enough to hold!" "What did you say, Doctor?" "It wasn't strong enough!" "I thought I... nothing, my dear." "Good morning, Ramona." "Come and shake hands." "How are you today?" "Aw, I forgot to bring you something." "When are we going to get out of here, Duke?" "How should I know?" "Yeah." "It's not like you care." "You're happy here." "You got Nona." "After all, where are you going to find a Nona in the Bronx?" "You know, you got something there, chump?" "Me." "That two-legged blimp's got me crazy." "I nearly froze to death last night in those trees trying to get away from her." "Imagine me trying to do a Tarzan." "Ain't got the build for it." "Well, I'll go look up this guy, Pepe, see if he's contacted any ships." "You want to come along?" "And run into salami?" "Ha, no thanks." "All right." "Oh, try to keep out of Ramona's cage, will you?" "Very funny." "Very funny." "Ha, ha, ha, ha." "Keep out of Ramona's cage." "Who does he think I am, an idiot or something?" "[humming]" "Hiya, baby." "Oh!" "So early in the morning?" "[laughs]" "Well, I'm on my way to keep Pepe." "We've got to get back to the state." "I'll go with you." "All right." "DR. ZABOR:" "Well, Nona." "Yes?" "I need you in the lab." "Very well." "You'll never find Pepe's place by yourself." "Go to my father." "He'll get you a guide." "All right." "I'll see you later." "[whistling] [dramatic music playing] [punch]" "Ow!" "Ow!" "[whistling]" "Gee, morning, everybody." "Where is everybody?" "Oh." "Hello. [Gibberish] Good morning." "Good morning." "Hiya, pop." "Good morning." "And how are you today, my little anthropod?" "Anthropod?" "Where'd I get that one?" "Oh, well." "(SINGING) Do, do, do, do, do." "How about a little strepta-cock-eye?" "Strepta-cock-eye!" "Nevermind that." "[bird cawing]" "When you get through with that, will you make you make me [inaudible]?" "Master." "I think that will be all for today, Nona." "Why don't you take our guests along with you to the village to meet your friend, Duke?" "All right, Doctor." "Come along, Sammy." "[door shutting]" "Good, Chula." "Very good." "Just make sure he does not come to until we are finished." "There." "Put him into the cage." "Take off his clothes." "Remember Nona, you promised to protect me from salami." "You mustn't be afraid of her." "She's only a baby." "Yeah, a baby elephant." "Hey, look." "Funny thing grow on these trees out here, don't they?" "Why, it's my necklace." "Yeah, that's right." "The one Dukie had on." "I wonder how it got here." "He's awful careless with his jewelry." "Don't tell him we found it." "I want to tease him about losing it; make him worry a little before I give it back." "Serves him right." "That's it." "[chimp noises]" "How long it take, master?" "I don't know." "Quiet." "Oh no." "Oh, you are back, my little one." "Remember Nona, you promised." "No, Saloma." "[non-english speech]" "Aw." "Did our father supply Duke with a guy to go to Pepe's?" "Duke not come here." "Sure?" "I'm sure." "He must've gone to find Pepe alone." "That's bad." "Duga, Oslo!" "[non-english speech]" "What'd you tell him?" "To look for Duke." "Good." "[non-english speech]" "Let's go back to Dr. Zibor's." "He may have turned back, looking for this." "All right." "Come on." "Me go too." "No, Saloma." "No, no." "A thousand times." "No!" "No, no, a thousand times no!" "[chimp noises]" "[growling] [snorting]" "Now, let's see if my lovely Nona will prefer you to me." "[snorting]" "Suppose he ain't here." "Then what?" "Then he must be lost in the jungle, and we'd better go find him before it's too late." "Dukie!" "Come on out, come on out, where you are." "Maybe he's hiding." "Duke!" "Hide [inaudible] go in there, and put Ramona in there too." "[snorting]" "Oh, have you seen Duke?" "Oh." "[laughing]" "Dukie!" "Maybe he's in the laboratory." "Come on." "Doctor, the Duke... [gasps] Where'd he come from?" "[snorting]" "Another step in my experiment, my dear." "Ramona is now a gorilla." "Ramona?" "This is Ramona?" "Yes." "SAMMY:" "Boy, I'd hate to have to rock her to sleep now." "[hooting]" "Do you intend to advance her one more step?" "To the human level?" "No." "I don't blame you, Doc." "It's the stupidest looking gorilla I ever saw." "[angry snorting]" "Did Pepe have any good news for our friend, Duke?" "I don't know." "We can't find him." "He must be lost in the jungle." "[snorting]" "Some of my people are searching for him." "Sammy, I think we've got to go back to the village." "Not me." "I'm tired of chasing around." "I'll wait here." "Well, well, so long, Ramona." "And don't take any wooden bananas." "[frantic gorilla noises]" "Chula, if you should return, bring him to the village." "Yes, master." "Let's go, dear." "Wait, wait, what are you trying to say, Ramona?" "Oh, well, wait, wait." "What are you trying to do, Ramona?" "I don't understand you." "What?" "[gorilla noises]" "Oh, a charade?" "Oh, good." "Oh, oh, uh-huh." "Three words, three words." "Uh." "First word, first word." "Uh, pupil... pupil." "A... a lash... eyelash?" "No, no, a brow... brow." "Brow... eye, eye!" "Eye." "Eye?" "Second word, second word." "Ear." "Uh, no, no, sounds like." "Sounds like... sounds like?" "A bang." "No?" "Uh-uh." "Uh, hey, hint, hint, hint, hint." "No, no, no." "Uh, uh, uh, um... bang, bang." "Ramp, sounds like ramp." "Ramp." "Wrist..." "Sam, ham, man?" "Lamb, lamb, lamb." "Wai... wai... wait a minute, Ramona." "I can't hear you with all that noise." "You wait right here." "I'll be right back." "[thumping]" "Look, will you [inaudible]." "You're confusing me..." "Ramona!" "[gorilla noises]" "Then who are you?" "Duke's clothes." "How'd they get there?" "And where'd he go without them?" "Oh, this is all very confusing." "Look, look, look, look... what are you..." "What are you trying to tell me?" "I..." "I don't understand a word." "Wha... wha... what am I, dumb or something?" "Do... don't answer that." "Oh, if only Duke were here, he'd figure it out." "He was a smart one." "Little Ramona, big Ramona, apes, gorillas, jungles, natives, man doctors." "(FAKE ACCENT)" "What an interesting cranium." "Make me learn this with all this stuff." "I'm a young kid." "I got a lot of talent." "I don't want to go through all this stuff." "[gorilla singing]" "Dukie!" "Dukie, what have they done to you?" "Ho... how'd you get like that?" "Oh, Dukie, what's what?" "No, I don't understand, Dukie." "What am I going to do with you?" "Key... key." "We've got to get the key." "Where... where's the key?" "Oh." "No, Duke." "Ah!" "You don't know your own strength." "Come on, we've got to get out of here." "[punch] [gorilla noises]" "All right, all right, all right." "Stop making with the Tarzan stuff." "Now, let's go upstairs and hide until I can figure this thing out." "[interposing voices]" "Gee, father, they have not found Duke?" "No." "He not come to my place." "We must find him, father." "[non-english speech]" "Oh, father." "Something has happened to him." "We will find him." "[non-english speech]" "I'm sure he's safe, my dear." "(VOICE BREAKING) Father, we've got to find him." "[non-english speech]" "When you were human, you did all the thinking for the both of us." "Find [inaudible] to get out of, and with nothing but my poor little brain to help us." "And don't look at me, will you?" "We've got to get that screwy doctor to change you back again." "What if he hasn't got the combination?" "Oy vey." "[gorilla noises]" "Aw, don't cry, Dukie." "Just think what a sensation we'll be when we get back home." "I can see it all now." "Sammy Petrillo and Duke Mitchell, the singing gorilla." "I mean, we'll kill them." "We may even play The Palace!" "[crying]" "Don't cry, Nona." "We'll find Duke." "[sobbing] For real, they find him." "Everybody look for him." "They find him, honest." "Don't cry, my child." "Master!" "It's about Duke." "No, my dear." "Ramona is um, loose." "She's dangerous." "She comes here, you have my permission to kill her." "[gorilla noises]" "Look, don't worry." "We can get a nice apartment near the Bronx Zoo, and you can go over to the monkey house and visit any time you want." "[gorilla noises]" "Look, will you cut out the hysterics?" "We've got to think now." "Quiet, quiet." "Quiet!" "Quit!" "Now, sit down." "We've got to think this over." "[gorilla noises]" "Can't stay here forever." "If I take you to the village alive, they'll kill you before I can explain." "Explain... we're going to explain this?" "They'll probably think I'm a sugar." "Then they'll kill me too." "Well, we've got to take a chance." "Come on, get up." "Wait a minute." "I'll put some clothes on you." "Maybe that'll fool them." "[gorilla noises]" "Here's something that ought to do it, Dukie." "Here, this will cover you up." "Put it on." "What are you doing?" "What are you clowning?" "Here, put it on." "Will you put it on?" "Now look, Duke Mitchell." "I'm running this game, you understand?" "Now, don't talk back!" "There, now put it on, because we've got to get out that door." "Dukie..." "Dukie, this, this is you over here, ain't it, Dukie?" "Th... th... this is you, ain't it, Duke?" "Aw, come on, Dukie." "Tell me it's you, will you?" "[gorilla noises] [exhale] Du..." "Dukie, Dukie, please." "Tell me it's you, will you, Duke?" "Aw, come on." "Sing." "Dance... do something, will you?" "(SINGING) I love you all my, do I, baby." "I give up!" "Oh, come on, Dukie, come on!" "[gorilla noises]" "Come on, Dukie." "Let's get out of here." "Let's go!" "Come on Dukie, come on." "Hurry up, boy." "You hurt this time, master?" "No." "Get my rifle." "You must kill!" "Come on, Dukie." "Let's go boy, hurry up, will you?" "Come on." "Come on, don't let him get him, boy." "Come on, let's go!" "Hurry up, will you?" "Don't let him laugh at you, Duke." "Don't let him laugh at you!" "Aw." "[gorilla noises]" "Come on, Dukie." "This is no time for romance." "Look!" "Come on." "Telling you, see you later, and let's get out of here." "[snorting]" "[screaming] No, no, no." "Wait, wait." "Get out of here." "Wait!" "[screaming]" "Dukie Mitchell, look, I can die with my partner," "Dukie Mitchell." "Come on, Dukie." "No, no, no." "Wait, wait, wait." "Put that away." "It's only Duke." "Oh, no." "What crazy thing is this?" "It was Duke that Dr. Zibor changed into a gorilla, not Ramona." "Duke, is it really you?" "Oh Duke, my darling, what have they done to you?" "We'll find Doctor." "He'll pay for this!" "You won't have to find me." "A very touching scene, my dear." "Step aside, my dear." "Oh no, no!" "Step aside." "[dramatic music playing]" "No, no, Duke." "Duke what are you, nuts?" "Come on back, Dukie!" "[gun shot]" "Oh!" "[gorilla sounds]" "Sammy, Sammy!" "Duke!" "Duke, I don't want to die, Duke." "I'm too young." "I have so much talent." "I don't want to die." "Come on." "Wake up, will you?" "Let's go away." "Come on." "Come on." "Duke." "Dukie, you're not a gorilla anymore." "Gorilla?" "What are you talking about?" "Where am I?" "Where are you?" "You're in our dressing room." "We're at The Jungle Hut at the safe, New Jersey, and we're on next." "Let's go." "Come on." "Boy, what a dream." "Hurry up." "Straighten up." "Come on, will you?" "Watch out, Dukie, where you going?" "Nona." "Hello, Dukie." "Hi, baby." "How'd it go?" "Sensational." "What a crowd." "We really killed them." "Really?" "NONA:" "Good luck, honey." "Gee, Francos." "Hot work, huh pup?" "Oh yeah?" "You're not kidding." " Bye bye, baby." " Bye." "Cuckoo, come on." "Watch it, Bob, watch it." "Pepe." "What?" "Nothing, nothing." "Ch..." "Ch..." "Chula!" "Hurry up." "You are next." "What kept you?" "Aw Dukie, the most awful thing happened." "And you'd better get some laughs this time, or you'll be collecting unemployment insurance." "Dr. Zabor!" "What's the matter with you?" "Aw Dukie, I just saw everybody in my dream;" "Chula, Pepe, and that's the guy that says (FAKE ACCENT) What an interesting cranium, right over there." "[sensual music playing]" "Oh, no!" "[applause]" "Where's my little Tarzan?" "Hiya, doll!" "And now, ladies and gentlemen, those two fireballs of fun, Duke Mitchell and Sammy Petrillo." "Come on, Duke." "Mm." "Come on." "Break it up." "Come on." "Gee, you're not so bad." "[applause]" "Good evening, ladies and gentlemen." "Hey Dukie, Dukie..." "look, there's the luau bird." "Luau bird?" "Yeah." "Don't you know what a luau bird is?" "No." "What's a luau bird?" "That's the bird that lays square eggs." "Then he goes... oh, oh!" "Oh!" "Play, boys." "[big band music playing]" "(SINGING) Do I love you oh my, do I. Indeed, I do." "Baby, indeed, I do." "Baby, baby, baby, baby, babe, because I do." "'Cause baby, yes, oh, baby." "Oh baby, indeed, I do!"