"(TV PLAYING)" "TV ANNOUNCER:" "In a battle drill... (MAN ON TV CHATTERING) (KNOCKING ON DOOR)" "All right, Shawn, that's it." "Come on, up and at 'em." "It's already noon." "Half the day is gone." "MAN ON TV:" "You need firepower." "HENRY:" "Look at this, Shawn." "Look at these guys right here." "You see what they're doing?" "They're jumping out of helicopters." "Look at that guy, he's rappelling down a mountainside." "Look at everything they're getting done while you're laying here, slacking off." "What does that make you want to do when you grow up?" "ON TV: 'Cause we need you in the Army" "Hmm." "Go into advertising?" "It's a really catchy jingle." "Seriously, I can't get it out of my head." "(INDISTINCT POLICE RADIO CHATTER)" "CARLTON:" "Just let me get this straight." "Hotel manager says she found the body this morning, but you're saying John Doe offed himself at least 20 hours ago." "(WHISPERING) Shawn, when I said I wanted to see you, this is not what I had in mind." "(WHISPERING) I thought you said the fact that we were spending time together was more important than what we were doing." "Let me just solve this quickly, and we can go." "I do not believe this man committed suicide." "Unfortunately, he was murdered." "Wait, already?" "Are you sure?" "Forty-one percent." "Shawn!" "Why do you say that, Shawn?" "O'Hara, please, I think we got this one covered." "Spencer, why don't you get..." "I'm sorry, did you bring a date to the crime scene?" "It was either this or ice skating." "I'm not anti-ice skating." "Okay." "Do you have any idea how inappropriate that is?" "Any more inappropriate than yelling at a co-worker in front of his lovely date?" "You know what, Spencer?" "Why don't you zip it and let me assess what's going on here before you turn it into a psychic crap fest." "(WHISPERING) Dude, the chair." "The chair he stepped on to hang himself." "Legs would have naturally kicked it backwards, and yet it's tipped forward." "This is remedial stuff." "I do not believe this man was alone in the room when he died." "Spencer, enough!" "I'm already onto something being fishy here without your help." "Look at the position of the chair." "Good boy, Lassie." "But come on, half-naked John Doe, no wallet, no ID, no identification." "There's no card with the, uh..." "It's got the, uh..." "Gus, what am I looking for here?" "An ID card." "There's not one of those." "Clearly you will need me to read the body." "(BREATHING DEEPLY)" "(CHOKING)" "Check the throat." "He's trying to tell me something, but he can't." "I was just about to say that." "Check his throat." "M. E:" "Yes, sir." "(GROANS)" "Those dog tags?" "Oh, crap, this guy was a soldier." "What does this mean?" "It means it's not just a possible homicide, now it's a military crime." "You know, I may know someone who can help." "(GRUNTS)" "(GUNS FIRING) (BULLET RICOCHETS)" "(WOMAN SCREAMS)" "(MEN GRUNTING)" "(CELL PHONE RINGING)" "Hey, little sis." "Ewan, hi." "I am so sorry to bother you." "I know you must be busy." "But I just..." "I have a couple of questions about this case I'm working." "Oh, no, I'm never too busy for you." "Oh, I'm sorry, are you at work?" "Yeah, you know, cleaning out the inbox." "The usual." "Hey, can I call you back?" "Sure, but it'll only take a minute." "Same here." "(PEOPLE EXCLAIMING)" "MAN 1:" "Hey!" "Oh!" "(PEOPLE CHATTERING)" "Oh!" "Dude!" "(GRUNTS) (CELL PHONE RINGS)" "Hey, sis, I was just gonna..." "GOVERNMENT OFFICIAL:" "Hello, Alpha Four." "This is not your sister." "Yeah, I gather." "Funny you should call now." "Mission complete." "Your docs are safe and I'll be at your destination, hopefully dry, by 1600." "America wins." "GOVERNMENT OFFICIAL:" "Just in time." "As usual, you're a credit to your country, Alpha Four." "(CELL PHONE RINGING)" "Hi." "Thank you for calling me back." "Yeah, we have a soldier who was found hanging in this motel room." "What happened?" "He kill himself?" "Well, maybe." "Maybe somebody just wants us to think that." "Hey, do you know why a soldier would swallow his dog tags?" "Unfortunately, I do." "I saw it firsthand at boot camp." "It's a symbol of shame." "Oh, man!" "Are you crazy?" "Suicide is a disgraceful act, especially for a soldier." "So what happens is they..." "They swallow their dog tags." "Listen, how about we talk about this over dinner?" "Wait, you're in the country?" "EWAN:" "Better yet, I'm in the state." "As a matter of fact, I'm headed towards Santa Barbara." "When?" "I figure I'll float in around 9:00-ish." "Great!" "In between the lines there's a lot of obscurity" "I'm not inclined to resign to maturity" "If it's all right then you're all wrong" "But why bounce around to the same damn song?" "You'd rather run when you can't crawl" "I know, you know That I'm not telling the truth" "I know, you know They just don't have any proof" "Embrace the deception Learn how to bend" "Your worst inhibitions tend to psych you out in the end" "So, it's a big sandstorm, we're in Dubai, 19 clicks from enemy lines, and we're trying to grab the hindquarters, and finally I say, "Stop!" ""Guys, we're gonna have to carry this camel the rest of the way."" "(ALL LAUGHING)" "Carry the camel is humping it out." "What?" "Just..." "That's..." "(CLEARS THROAT)" "That's an amazing story, man." "Well, it sounds a little rehearsed, as if you've told it about a zillion times." "I've never told that story before in my life." "(CHUCKLES) This is the first time." "SHAWN:" "Oh, really?" "Wow." "Maybe a little embellished, hmm?" "(CHUCKLES)" "A little, uh, little exaggerated." "I mean, believe me, I do the same thing." "No, actually, I left most of the crazy stuff out." "I didn't want to blow anybody's mind." "(ALL LAUGHING)" "It was nothing, really." "But honestly, man, from what my sis tells me, you..." "You're the amazing one." "You said that?" "I said you were prophetic." "What?" "You're prophetic." "Hey, I was just really interested in your kind of police work." "I mean, sure, I'm used to combat, the nitty-gritty, extreme danger." "But you..." "You do things on a higher level." "What did Juliet say about me?" "(SCOFFS) Plenty." "I'd tell you, but I'd have to kill you." "(ALL LAUGHING)" "Oh, great, now you're gonna tell everybody about our family road trip to Epcot, where you tortured me with noogies?" "(LAUGHS) Does the story end with him carrying the car the last 19 clicks?" "You better watch out." "You're never too old (EXCLAIMS)" "To hop on the train to Noogieville!" "(SCREAMING)" "The claw!" "Watch out!" "(SCREAMING) Not the claw!" "Not the claw!" "(PEOPLE EXCLAIMING)" "(JULIET LAUGHS) EWAN:" "Ah, this is great!" "I am so glad you're here, and that you get to meet everybody." "(STAMMERING) Hey, I gotta ask." "Is that a Walther PPK on your right ankle?" "It is." "Good eye, Detective." "May I?" "Yeah." "Ah, thank you." "Here you go." "Oh, that is sweet." "Are you licensed to carry in this state?" "I'm licensed to carry on the planet." "Oh." "It's one of 11 weapons on my person." "Anybody want to find where they're hidden?" "(ALL LAUGHING)" "CARLTON:" "All right, back to work, everyone." "O'Hara." "Autopsy report confirms there was a severe neck fracture, probably not caused by the hanging." "Looks like Shawn's hunch about foul play might be right." "CARLTON:" "Let's pull out to the Army base, figure out why our Private Starks ended up dead in a motel room." "Hey, you should come with us." "Yeah?" "We could probably use your insight." "And your 11 weapons." "(LAUGHING)" "Sorry, sir, we do not allow civilians access to this base." "(CHUCKLES) I figured you might say something like that, soldier." "But let me assure you I'm hardly a civilian." "I am the head detective for the Santa Barbara Police Department." "Sir, you don't have the clearances necessary to access this property." "I got you, Lassie." "Gomer, Shawn Spencer," "Paraguayan ambassador." "This is my attaché, Guy Buttersnaps, AKA "The Heater."" "We are here to deliver a large ornamental fruit basket filled with native delicacies to whoever runs this joint." "Sergeant, Ewan O'Hara." "Is that a DOD TS security clearance?" "It is, and I can assure you these folks are not here to cause any trouble." "They just have a few questions to ask." "As a former member of this institution and a decorated soldier, perhaps you can explain to these civilians that while the United States Army appreciates their concern about Private Starks, this is a military matter." "Absolutely, General." "But a soldier is dead." "I think these people are just trying to do their due diligence." "I assure you we will conduct a thorough investigation internally here on our base." "Yeah, see, here's the thing, it didn't happen on your base." "So you and I can sit here and haggle over jurisdiction, which we both know is murky at best, or you can give us access to your base, let us do our work." "That, or we can start hauling soldiers down to the station." "You may be interested to know that the coroner found evidence that may conflict with the original theory of self-infliction." "Thank you, young lady." "I'll be happy to pass that report on to our highly-skilled military pathologist." "(SIGHING) Major General..." "Yes?" "I got nothing." "I just like saying that." "Those two words in sequence, "Major General."" "Try it, Gus." "I don't want to, Shawn." "Just say it." "I don't want to." "Say it." "Major General." "(KNOCKING ON DOOR)" "General, I just got off the phone with Starks' parents." "They've requested that we put together his things for them to pick up." "FELTS:" "Thank you, Lieutenant Wallach." "Yes, I spoke to the boy's parents this morning myself." "Hardest call the Army has to make." "(CELL PHONE TINKLING)" "What is that?" "Sorry, sir." "It's my girlfriend Abigail." "She's been trying to reach me all day." "We're entering a phase in our relationship that I simply can't get a handle on." "I would like to hear your thoughts." "Though I wouldn't presume to know what kind of stuff you're into." "Probably don't ask, don't tell." "(CELL PHONE TINKLING CONTINUOUSLY)" "I'm just gonna let it go to voicemail." "Indeed." "Pack up his things." "Uh, we will need to look through all of his belongings before they go anywhere." "And we're going to need to retrace his steps leading to his death." "We'd like to start with his work assignments." "(SIGHING)" "Very well." "Lieutenant Wallach, escort these civilians down to Private Starks' barracks, and then to the motor pool, where he worked." "Ooh!" "Motor pool, that's us." "We'll take the motor pool." "(WHISPERS) Dude, be all you can be." "What?" "We'll need one of those Hummers." "The open Hummers that we saw on the way in." "And my partner will require a corncob pipe." "Afternoon, soldier." "Ewan O'Hara." "This is Shawn Spencer." "He's a psychic detective helping the Santa Barbara Police Department, investigating the suicide of Private David Starks." "We heard." "It was a shame." "(GRUNTING)" "Oh, this is his partner, Guy Buttersnaps." "That's not your real name?" "Oh, my gosh," "Juliet didn't even tell you my name?" "Gus, please, let's focus." "Your pettiness ions are interfering with my psychic ions, creating recepto non grata interfero bupkiss." "What are you even talking about?" "Shawn, this stuff is so cool." "How does this psychic investigation thing work?" "Ewan, would you ask the Egyptians how they built the pyramids?" "Would you ask Yo-Yo Ma how he makes music sound like heaven?" "Would you ask Iron Mike Sharpe why he felt the need to shower for more than 90 minutes after wrestling for less than ten?" "My point is, it's not a science." "For example, what is this thing?" "It's called an armored personnel carrier." "Of course it is, Gus." "I meant on a more philosophical level." "What is it?" "(EXCLAIMS)" "I am sensing that Private Starks was insubordinate and lazy." "A real slough-off." "No." "The opposite." "He was a model private." "One of the most conscientious soldiers in the squad, in fact." "Please, soldier, don't interrupt me." "Never do that." "That was the next thing I was going to say." "Model soldier." "Exemplary." "Pristine." "But I am sensing that he signed out of work last Monday, and instead went to dinner." "You must be getting "DNR,"" "which stands for "did not report."" "Any reason why that would happen?" "Well, the only official reason a soldier can legally sign out for work duty is due to a sickness or an injury..." "(CELL PHONE RINGING) ...or for a meeting with a superior." "Hello?" "Excuse me, guys." "This is Alpha Four, go." "GOVERNMENT OFFICIAL:" "Alpha Four, what do you think you're doing?" "Last time I checked, I was on vacation." "Yes, but what, exactly, do you think you're doing on that base?" "Wait, how did you..." "GOVERNMENT OFFICIAL:" "Come on, Four." "You start flashing that clearance badge around and alarms go off." "Okay, I'm helping my sister and the Santa Barbara Police Department with an investigation, and I don't see how any of that is your business." "(BOTH SCREAMING)" "Everything you do is my business, and everything that happens on that base is the Army's business." "Your instructions, Alpha Four, are to go to whatever lengths to keep it that way." "Yeah, I don't follow..." "GOVERNMENT OFFICIAL:" "Congratulations." "Hey!" "Don't touch that!" "GOVERNMENT OFFICIAL:" "You just got yourself an assignment." "If there is a bad seed on that base," "I want you to be the one to uncover them." "Your orders, do what it is you do to make sure it never sees the light of day." "Yes, sir." "HOLBROOK:" "Sir." "The file your team asked for." "Thank you, soldier." "(SHREDDER HUMMING)" "(CELL PHONE TINKLING) It's Abigail." "Again." "You're acting like it's odd for your girlfriend to be calling you on the phone." "No, the phone is a device that's been around for dozens of years." "That's not the odd part." "She's just being awfully clingy lately, you know?" "(STAMMERS) Like I'm never doing enough." "Oh, I don't know." "I think taking her to the dead guy show was pretty good." "(CELL PHONE CONTINUES TINKLING)" "You're right, I'm an idiot." "Hey, Abs." "Before you even say anything," "I just want to apologize for the whole dog tags in the esophagus fiasco." "But I will be making it up to you tonight, 8:00 p.m." "Perfect." "All right, so, going through Starks' personal effects before they were sent off didn't raise any flags." "Oh, well, good afternoon." "Nice of you to join us." "A lot has happened." "Maybe you'd like to try and catch up." "Lassiter, it is precisely 8:20 in the a.m. What could possibly have happened?" "What, did you just run a marathon?" "(GUS AND SHAWN LAUGHING) Yes." "SHAWN:" "While I may have been sleeping late, (MOUTHING)" "I had very, very productive dreams." "I now know two new things." "One, the howler monkey that wears the overalls and plays the glockenspiel is my inner child, pleading with me to cling to my innocence." "And two, the fact that Starks signed out of work on Monday means something." "Shawn, I admire your fortitude." "Maybe it's because I've been on the inside so long, but this thing smells of suicide." "Can you get us back onto the base?" "I don't know." "It's not like the annual pass at Disneyland." "That was a very special circumstance." "Ewan, you don't have to do that." "You've done enough already." "And thank you for getting us Starks' file." "I know you had to pull some strings to do that." "I know." "I mean, I wish I could have turned something up for you guys." "It's a tough break." "Excuse us men." "(WHISPERING) Dude, somebody tampered with that file." "Now all of a sudden Captain America isn't interested in helping." "We need to get back on that base unsupervised." "And how are we gonna do that, Shawn?" "Just go to the base and beg to get back on again?" ""Excuse me, Officer, can we get back on the base, please?"" "Come on, solider, we're gonna sneak on." "Under the radar." "Under the radar?" "(VERY QUIETLY) Under the radar." "Come on, dude, how was I supposed to know that they actually have real radar?" "Look at the bright side, man." "We're in a Humvee!" "Just what in the hell did you think you were gonna get away with?" "I assume you realize that this kind of idiocy will not be tolerated on my base!" "Is there another type of idiocy that you would be more comfortable with?" "Understood." "I hope this doesn't affect Gus and I's chances of enlisting." "Son, I'm not sure what makes either of you think you're Army material." "I have two words for you," "Army" "Psychic." "I'm giving you first shot before I pitch it to CBS as a television idea." "We apologize, sir, and it will never happen again." "That's more like it." "And for the record, I have the utmost respect for the United States Army, and all branches of the military, for that matter." "(LAUGHS) Except, of course, the Coast Guard." "Did you see The Guardian?" "I will be contacting your superiors about this incident." "There will be consequences." "Consequences?" "FELTS:" "Consequences!" "Shawn, he's gonna come back with a bar of soap wrapped in a towel!" "Would you relax?" "There's no way we're getting D'Onofrio-ed." "SHAWN:" "Tell him." "GUS:" "It was your psychic revelation." "SHAWN:" "I'm asking you as a favor." "GUS:" "No." "As a friend." "No." "Rock, paper, scissors." "No." "Two out of three." "Just tell him." "No." "No." "Someone better start telling me something, because I'm in the mood to staple heads." "(SHAWN SIGHING)" "All right, do you have any idea where Ewan was last night?" "What does that have to do with anything?" "You and I both know that even Juliet herself can't tell us exactly what Ewan does for the US government at this point." "And his past is some big secret." "He just breezes in and breezes out of the Army base, and now, all of a sudden, he's reluctant to get us on?" "In all fairness, he barely knows you." "When we were POWs, we saw Ewan outside Felts' office." "Now, what was he doing there?" "For Pete's sake, Spencer, if you have something to say, then spit it out!" "What is on your mind?" "(CLEARS THROAT) All right, right now it's..." "It's just a major hunch." "But I think Ewan is deeply involved in all of this." "(LAUGHS)" "You think O'Hara's brother's a murderer?" "(GUS AND SHAWN SHUSHING)" "CARLTON: (STUTTERS) What..." "Maybe." "How dare you accuse my brother of murder." "Jules, I'm not accusing." "At this point it's just a strong psychic hunch." "Just for the record, you two charged both of my parents with murder on Christmas." "That's very true." "Just ask yourself, what is he doing here?" "Why is he in Santa Barbara?" "That's it?" "That's your theory, that he's in town?" "Well, try this theory on for size." "You always argue with your father, and you rarely even see your mother." "Maybe..." "Maybe it's just hard for you to wrap your head around the fact that somebody might have a healthy, loving relationship with their family." "What, other than being a war hero, has my brother done to bring on your suspicions?" "He has an arsenal of weapons in his pants." "(CHUCKLES) Shawn, you know, you might just try to mask your obvious jealousy for Ewan." "(LAUGHS) Jealousy of..." "What?" "That..." "That's funny." "That's..." "That's..." "How funny is that, Gus?" "It's pretty funny." "Well, let's laugh a little." "(GUS AND SHAWN LAUGH)" "Because..." "Because Ewan and I are basically the same person." "It's ridiculous." "You know, Spencer, maybe your time would be better served if you were to concentrate on real, viable suspects in our midst." "Like Felts, for example." "All right, this guy thinks he's king of the world because he's got a couple of stars on his chest." "Well, I've got a badge, and that guy's going down." "Well, hello there, Detective." "Please tell me I'm not going down before I've had my morning coffee." "JULIET:" "Major General, thank you for coming down." "Uh, to be honest, we were just expecting a phone call." "Well, young lady, we didn't have phones in Nha Trang when I took down nine men with my bare hands." "Perhaps we can talk in private?" "In here." "Go home." "(DOOR CLOSES)" "Major General, you care to sit down?" "Did you know, of the 39 men who signed our Declaration of Independence, 32 of them were standing when they did it." "This country was built from a standing position." "I'm good." "Thank you for the history lesson." "Now to matters of this century." "This murder isn't going away, and neither are we." "We want some answers." "I came down here as a courtesy to you." "But if you're gonna turn this into an interrogation, Detective, you better be prepared to stick bamboo shoots under my fingernails." "I didn't think so." "I will be back at that base with warrants!" "A stack of them!" "Oh, I'm sorry, did you forget how to get home?" "Because we can have an officer take you." "SHAWN:" "Jules." "Jules." "We both know how we can get back on that base." "I'm sorry, you've accused my brother of murder, and now you want to use him?" "We both have a stake in this investigation, so let's investigate." "That is our jobs, remember?" "This brother thing is just a hunch." "But I am a psychic, which means I need to be near him in order to read him." "Now, what are you afraid of?" "That I can prove I'm right?" "No." "That's just how you'll prove that you're wrong." "(SIGHING)" "Ew, how many men would you say you've killed?" "Shawn!" "Of the four of us, your brother's the only one who's probably killed a man, unless we're counting accidental deaths, in which case Gus would be in the running." "Shawn..." "You don't have to defend yourself." "I'm simply wondering how it feels." "I hope you never have to find out." "Snap." "I asked for that." "Yes, you did." "Sir, I'm gonna have to ask you not to touch the weapons." "SHAWN:" "What is this?" "EWAN:" "That is an anti-tank weapon." "And you're pointing it at yourself." "You used to work with Starks in the motorcade, did you not?" "Yes, I did." "But you know that." "How do you know that?" "There's only a certain amount of jobs a private can be assigned to on a base like this." "Deductive reasoning." "Clipboard, please." "Sir?" "Clipboard, please, sir." "Wow." "Starks touched this clipboard." "I don't know what you mean." "SHAWN:" "I think you do, soldier." "I think you do." "If you have information, you better tell us." "One of the privates may have had a girlfriend." "And he may have snuck off the base that night to see her." "And he may have had his pal Starks sub in for him and man his shift." "Starks normally works the motor pool, so he knew nothing about weapon inventory." "Isn't that risky?" "It's pretty simple." "Machine supplies come in, trucks pick them up." "Simple." "Starks saw something that night that he wasn't supposed to." "The question is, what was it?" "(CELL PHONE RINGING)" "Hello?" "What is the status, Four?" "It's a little early for a cocktail, isn't it?" "GOVERNMENT OFFICIAL:" "Not on this coast." "Now tell me you've wrapped this thing up." "I've tried everything to slow it down." "I've turned them the wrong way." "I've shredded evidence." "This Shawn Spencer character is very good at what he does." "Starks was onto something, and Spencer's close." "GOVERNMENT OFFICIAL:" "Are you telling me you can't handle some local psychic?" "No." "I'm gonna follow his lead to the target, then I'll deal with it." "It's perfect." "Okay, Four." "But be in touch." "And in case you weren't sure, that's an order." "Ewan." "You think you could get Gus and I back on the base late night?" "Not a problem." "This is nice." "Yeah, it is." "Just you and me." "Me and you." "(MOANING SOFTLY)" "I'm talking about us, man." "I'm talking about this, being in a relationship, spending the time, spooning it up, it's... (BREATHING DEEPLY)" "(SNIFFS)" "(SIGHS)" "I'm sorry, do you have somewhere to be?" "No, no." "No." "(SHAWN STUTTERS)" "(CHUCKLES) That's ridiculous." "I would never do that." "Why would I..." "I'm sorry." "I had every intention of making this an amazing date." "Okay?" "I did." "I just..." "I have to work." "Maybe if I had a normal job with regular hours, like you do..." "Shawn, I think you're missing the point." "I'm not totally available to you." "Shawn, listen to me..." "There are things that I have to do, Abigail, because I have to do them, and they don't involve our relationship." "I'm going to Uganda!" "The city?" "It's a country, Shawn." "I knew that." "Tell me you're not having an affair with Kamala." "Kamala, the wrestler?" "Well, his real name is Jim Harris, and he's not from Uganda, he's from Mississippi." "God, I love that you know that." "All right." "Okay." "(BREATHING DEEPLY)" "(SIGHING) Uh, when do you leave?" "Two days." "Wow." "How long?" "Six months." "What?" "What?" "Maybe longer." "I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner." "It all just happened really fast." "Listen, it's this amazing program, all right." "It's called "One Kid, One World."" "And I'm gonna be helping to build and design this school, and I'm gonna teach kids who are just desperate to learn." "Sounds nice." "That's why I've been pressuring you to get together, so I could tell you." "Really, Abs?" "(STAMMERS) You couldn't have slipped it in anywhere before right now, this second?" "I thought about it." "I thought about it right after the coroner pulled the dog tags out of that guy's mouth." "Come on." "Listen." "Let's just have the conversation that we would have had if I had told you." "(CHUCKLES) Fine, I would have asked you not to go." "I would say that that is completely unfair because I've been waiting for this opportunity for six years." "And I'd ask you to come with me." "Well, I would say that's not very fair." "Because Psych is here and Gus is here." "And what am I supposed to do in Uganda for six months or longer?" "(SIGHING)" "Where does that leave us, then?" "Now, that's a fair question." "SOLDIER 1: (GRUNTING) All right, it's the last one." "SOLDIER 2:" "Got it, Sergeant." "Thanks for scoring us these dope Army costumes." "They're not costumes." "They're government-issued uniforms." "I wonder where that truck is going." "Any chance it's Uganda?" "Shawn, are you okay?" "Yeah." "Thanks, buddy." "There's only one way to find out." "We got to get on that truck." "Ewan, how would you normally handle a situation like this?" "Take them out." "Hmm?" "A little elaborate." "Somewhat unorthodox." "But possibly genius." "Gus, do we still have the number for that guy who can get us tickets for Monday Night Raw?" "Carano." "But that's not what he meant, Shawn." "Wait a minute, you mean you would kill them?" "Not right away." "But usually I'm dealing with the enemy." "These guys are on our side." "I don't know, what do you guys do?" "It's called creating a diversion." "How does that work?" "(GRUNTING)" "OFFICER:" "Hey!" "What are you doing out of your barracks after lights out, son?" "Uh, I was just taking a stroll." "Taking a stroll?" "What are you, soldier, some kind of dandy?" "Get down on the ground." "I'm sorry?" "Hit the dirt, maggot!" "That's right." "You start giving me pushups." "And I mean good ones, all the way up and all the way down, or you will start over." "Start!" "You miss your mommy yet?" "I do, I guess." "You guess?" "You have a girl that you write to back home?" "No, but I have been giving that some thought lately." "You think I want to hear a monologue about your feelings?" "No, no, sir." "Keep going!" "OFFICER:" "Do you even want to be here, son?" "GUS:" "I don't know." "I'm not too sure." "OFFICER:" "Not too sure?" "I will ask you again." "Do you want to be here?" "I do, sir, I do!" "OFFICER:" "Why is that, Private?" "I got nowhere else to go!" "(PANTING)" "I got nowhere else to..." "(TRUCK LEAVING)" "OFFICER:" "Think!" "Sergeant Powell keeps sending me you guys!" "(GRUNTING)" "(GUS PANTING)" "(GRUNTING)" "Nice, buddy." "You were totally doing lines from An Officer and A Gentleman." "I don't know where it came from." "You know, Lou Gossett was like my pretend dad after that movie." "Yeah, I felt the same way after Enemy Mine." "Over here." "It's Wallach?" "He had his own operation selling weapons on the side." "SHAWN:" "This must be what Starks saw that night." "He had a conscience." "He didn't just blindly follow." "He questioned, and he reported it to Wallach." "But he was exactly the wrong person to tell it to." "Wallach killed him in that motel room." "(GRUNTING)" "And, uh, don't..." "Don't be offended by this, but" "(SHAWN CHUCKLING)" "I thought it was you who was somehow behind all this." "(MAN SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY)" "I've never met a man who's so big, he couldn't hide behind a plane." "(MAN SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY)" "(MEN SCREAMING)" "(GUN FIRING)" "We need to think about this to make a plan." "Stay here!" "Okay." "(METALLIC CLANGING)" "(GUNFIRE CONTINUING)" "(INDISTINCT SHOUTING)" "(TIRES SCREECHING)" "(MAN SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY)" "(TIRES SCREECHING)" "Let's go!" "Come on!" "You said to stay here." ""Stay here." That's what you said!" "You can move now." "Let's go." "Come on!" "(BOTH GRUNTING)" "(GUNS FIRING)" "Then Wallach sees us from a distance, breaks into a crate, pulls out a G36, and he's gone." "We might have had a chance, but it's all speculation." "Jules, I owe you an apology." "I was wrong." "For accusing my brother?" "No, I was gonna say you were right." "I looked it up." "Eve Plumb did do three episodes of The Love Boat, playing three completely different characters." "Turns out she has a lot more range than I gave her credit for." "But, now that I'm thinking of it," "I was also wrong to accuse your brother." "He saved our lives and, well, I owe him for that." "That is very sweet." "Yes, it is." "What's more, I really mean it." "I'm sure you do." "But it's not that easy this time." "Listen up!" "At ease." "At this moment, against my better judgment," "I'm gonna overlook the blatant disregard for the rules and regulations of the United States Army, and say thank you to Shawn Spencer and his partner Guy Buttersnaps, for their efforts to uncover Lieutenant Wallach's criminal misconduct." "We have identified the missing weapons and are now tracking them." "And to one of our own, Ewan O'Hara, for his heroic actions in this albeit unauthorized operation." "We have a man on the run." "We're gonna find him." "So here are the parameters for "Operation Manhunt."" "(CLEARS THROAT) Excuse me, Major General, sir." "Are you open to suggestions for alternate names to "Operation Manhunt"?" "It seems a little on the nose, sir." "First order of business, we're gonna do a lockdown of the base." "No one gets in, no one gets out." "Then I want an inventory done of all the arms rooms on the installation." "Hey, Ewan, uh..." "Look, man, I don't know what the rules are for saving lives these days, but I want you to know that if you ever need anything Xeroxed or mimeographed or alphabetized, Gus is your man." "Not necessary." "I'm just glad you guys are okay." "Listen, I'm sorry I couldn't be there to help you net Wallach, but I have confidence you guys will do it." "The Army has a way of weeding out bad seeds." "Whoa, are you leaving?" "Yeah, I got a flight, 0430." "Wouldn't happen to be to Uganda, would it?" "(CHUCKLES)" "You know, what's funny is that" "Major General Felts turned out to be the good guy in all of this." "If I hadn't seen The Great Santini so many times," "I probably would have seen that sooner." "Duvall." "(CHUCKLES) Yeah, Duvall." "(SIGHING)" "If Starks didn't die, he would have had that appointment with Felts, and Felts would have figured out this whole weapons thing a lot sooner." "Wait a minute." "Ewan, you don't have to do that." "You've already done enough." "And thank you for getting us Starks' file." "I know you had to pull some strings to do that." "I wish we could have turned something up for you." "Tough break." "It just smells like suicide." "SHAWN:" "You used to work with Starks in the motorcade." "Yes, I did." "But you know that." "How do you know that?" "Dude, where's Ewan?" "He left." "My God, I was wrong." "I mean I was right." "I mean, I was right, and then I was wrong." "Now I'm right again." "You're not making any sense, Shawn." "We have to follow Ewan." "He's up to something." "I'll explain on the way." "Where are those guys going?" "Whoa, whoa." "Let's call Lassiter." "SHAWN:" "No, there's no time for that, buddy." "We gotta get down there." "I got all the time in the world." "I like to live." "Shawn!" "Ewan!" "Ewan, Ewan, Ewan, Ewan, Ewan." "(CHUCKLING)" "All this time we thought you were trying to help us uncover the truth." "But really you were just trying to slow us down, so that you could get to him first." "(GUS SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)" "We each have our job, Shawn." "SHAWN: (SIGHS) Yes, we do." "Of course, I've had many jobs." "I'm not sure which one you're referring to specifically." "My guess is that it's not my brief stint as a lobbyist for MM'S, trying to get them to bring back the light brown ones." "But you know what?" "Let's not get caught up in one another's achievements." "Suffice to say we both have very impressive resumes." "Let's just talk, okay?" "Man to much smaller, less fit man." "All right." "Wallach here broke an Army code." "A code based on allegiance, honor, honesty." "How about this, Ewan, how about..." "How about I bring the cops in here, huh?" "And we arrest this guy, slap some cuffs on him." "How satisfying will that be to watch?" "I'll even make sure Lassie makes them extra tight so that they chafe and they flake." "You know, your sister will get the collar." "That's a bonus." "(GUN COCKING)" "I'm not taking Wallach anywhere." "Wait a second." "You gonna kill him?" "Yes, Gus." "I believe that's what the cocking of the gun was meant to mean." "You wouldn't be this lost if you would just come a little closer." "You know how I feel about piers like this, Shawn." "They are covered in pelican urine." "What?" "GUS:" "Seriously, Shawn, everything you just touched is soaked in it." "I'm good where I am." "Shawn, you're a good detective." "You've got a good thing going here." "On top of that, my sister likes you and so do I." "But we all have orders, and I'm still alive because I follow mine." "So, why don't you and your buddy here..." "Seriously?" "The name is Gus!" "Gus!" "Turn around, walk out." "Forget you ever saw me." "Go have a drink." "Toast to a job well done." "Leave me to do what I have to do." "We can live with that, can't we?" "I can't." "Easy, little sis." "Drop it, Ewan." "We both know you're not gonna shoot your older brother." "No, but I will." "I could make this very complicated for you right now." "What is this even about?" "You're protecting the Army from some bad publicity?" "What happened to the Ewan I knew?" "You know, you're the reason I became a cop." "You gave me the confidence to go for it, and I did." "I became one." "And now I have a job to do, and that is to uphold the law." "And no one is above that." "Wallach is gonna go to jail for what he did, and so are you." "So, Ewan O'Hara, you are under arrest for the attempted murder of Lieutenant W. Wallach of the United States Army." "Juliet..." "You have the right to remain silent." "Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law." "(HANDCUFFS CLICKING)" "Just for the record, I really hate that I was right." "Me, too." "This must be hard for you." "I mean, personally, I have family members" "I would love to see go to prison, but this must be tough." "He broke the law." "That's all there is to it for me." "Um, excuse me, I'm looking for a prisoner, Ewan O'Hara?" "Sorry, he's not here." "Is he on a different bus?" "No, ma'am, I'm saying there's no record of a Ewan O'Hara." "ANNOUNCER ON PA:" "Now boarding Flight 665..." "Are you sure you don't want to come visit?" "Maybe." "I mean, it's..." "It's not out of the question." "It's the hole in the ground as a toilet thing that's giving me pause, primarily." "I won't even tell you about the whole toilet paper situation." "Hmm." "Hmm." "I'll be thinking about you, though." "I think we'll both be doing our share of that." "Tell me one more time exactly when you get back." "Right, um, I'll be back for a little bit on February 24th, so... 24th, got it." "I'm going to circle it on my calendar." "It's..." "I can't stay" "In this place" "FLIGHT ATTENDANT:" "Now boarding Flight 665 to LAX with international connections." "Now boarding Flight 665 to Los Angeles International Airport." "And I'm lost in sleep" "Am I wrong?" "Ticket, please." "Goodbye, lay the blame on luck" "Ooh, ooh, ooh" "I know, you know That I'm not telling the truth" "I know, you know They just don't have any proof" "Embrace the deception Learn how to bend" "Your worst inhibitions tend to psych you out in the end" "I know, you know" "I know, you know" "I know, you know"