"'Nobody's saying the Chatsworth Estate is the Garden of Eden, 'but it's been a good home to us, to me, Frank Gallagher, 'and me kids, who I'm proud of, 'cos every single one of 'em reminds me a little of me." "'They can all think for themselves, which they've me to thank for." "'Fiona, who's a massive help." "'Lip, who's a bit of a gobshite, which is why nobody calls him Phillip any more." "'lan's like his mam, which is handy for the others, cos she's disappeared." "'Carl - we daren't let him grow his hair for two reasons." "'One, it stands on end and makes him look like Toyah." "Two, nits love him." "'Debbie - sent by God, total angel." "'Check your change, but she'll always do you a favour." "'Plus Liam - gonna be a star, once we've got the fits under control." "'Steve, Fiona's boyfriend." "The truth is out there." "Not." "'Fantastic neighbours, Kev and Veronica." "Lend you anything..." "Well, not anything." "'But all of 'em, to a man, know first and foremost 'one of the most vital necessities in this life is they know how to throw a party!" "'Heh heh heh heh!" "Scatter!" "'" "(Veronica) 'Now, I'm not really a jealous person, 'but living next door to Fiona gave me a cross to bear." "'Every bloke she met seemed to want to marry her." "She had that kind of face." "'l thought I had that kind of face an' all, but Kev's never mentioned marriage, 'which never used to bother me till the day I realised 'that, well, you either love each other or you don't" "'and, if you don't, it's time to find your running shoes, innit?" "'" " (# Pop music playing)" " Top up?" "(# Music playing loudly)" " Seen our Veronica?" " Try the disco." " (# Music playing loudly)" " Veronica?" " Bleeding row!" " Don't you remember this?" "Down Jekyll's, off our faces?" "It's the first time we got off together." "I must have been, dancing to this!" "Seen me shirt?" " What shirt?" " Me Friday shirt for work." "I got it out earlier and it's disappeared." "What's in there?" "Bedding. I'll stick 'em in Fiona's." "Ours will rip 'em to shreds." "Veronica!" " Thought it was a pillow case." " With sleeves?" "It's been downhill ever since." "(Veronica blowing a kiss)" " Wicked!" " Cheers!" "Hey, that's sexual hara..." "Mandy!" "Was hoping you'd be here." "Thanks for earlier - stepping in with Hardman." " Oh, it were nothing." " You're joking." "None of the other lads would've done it." "You were my knight in shining armour." "You've got a hero working for you." "Stood up for me earlier in biology." "Hard-on Hardman." "He's a right dirty old bastard." " Did you have to stay long in detention?" " An hour. I listened to my Walkman." " What you doin' when you get off?" " l don't know." "He's a bit of a slave-driver so I'm never too sure what time I'm gonna finish." " Listen, Mandy, I'd best get on." " OK." "Might seen you later, then...sexy!" " 'Scuse me, ladies, 'scuse me." " (Raucous cheering)" " l'll just take these off you." " Take anything you want off me, darling!" " What's your name, love?" " Kev." " (All) Ooooh!" " l've found a new one!" "Kev!" "Listen, Kev, I'm working my way through the alphabet and I ain't had a K yet." "Do you fancy helping me out?" "I tell you what, if you're still stuck after the other 25, give us a shout!" "Hey, Zack, Zack, you might be in here, mate!" "'Night." " Gotcha!" " Jesus, Mandy!" " You scared me half to death!" " Waited for you." "Come on, I'll walk you home." "Windsor Gardens, innit?" "She fancies the arse off you!" "Over there." "Tina." "Shall I tell her you're interested?" "Reckons you're like a little boy in need of mothering." "She's a dirty cow!" "What do you reckon, Kev?" "Shall I tell her you're up for it?" " No, I can't." " Aw, why not?" " l just can't." " Hey, Tina..." "No, whoa, whoa, whoa!" "Listen, I'm..." "Fuck!" "I'm..." "I'm getting married, aren't I?" " Married?" "!" " Veronica." "Great girl." "Love her to bits." " Did he just say he was getting married?" " Well, it's t'first I've heard." "Well, are yous just gonna stand there or are you gonna break out the bubbly?" "Come on, this needs marking, doesn't it?" "(Drunkenly) Paddy, Reg!" "Kev's...getting married!" "Hey, here he comes!" "Hey!" " # Here comes the bride - (Everyone joining in) # La la la-laaa" "# La la la-la la la la-la la... #" " Hey, Carol..." " Frank, no!" "Hey, your Veronica, Kev's gonna make an honest woman of her!" "(Squealing loudly) Oh, Jesus Christ, he's done it!" "He's finally gone and done it!" "Kevin Alan Ball, give me a big kiss!" " My new son-in-law!" " Carol..." "He's made me the happiest mother in the world!" "Mind you, it's about bloody time." "Give us your phone." " l wanna ring Veron..." " You can't!" " She'll wanna tell you herself." " Kev!" "Kev...the barman!" " He's getting married!" " Congratulations, Kev!" "(Woman gasping orgasmically on television)" " D-Do you want another?" " Cheers." " (Gasping grows louder)" " Don't be long." " What the fuck..." " Piss off!" "I want to see the end of this." "All right!" "Jesus!" " Where are you going?" " Bed...apparently." "(# Robbie Williams:" "Feel)" " You Kev?" " Yeah, why?" "Me brother said you're getting married." "Top quality, good as new." "Bitch jilted me, didn't she?" "Do you want to try it on?" "(Cheering) # l just wanna feel real love" "# And the home that I live in... # l'm getting married!" "You're dead, you are!" "One size fits all." "# .." "love ever after" "# There's a hole in my soul You can see it in my face # lt's a real big place #" " Mandy, Mandy..." " lt's OK, I've got some in me bag." "Three-pack." "No, I..." "I...can't!" "I can't!" "I'm sorry." " lan!" " Oh, shit, I'm sorry!" "I'm really sorry." " l didn't mean to..." " What's up?" "What's the matter?" "What is it?" "Don't you fancy me or summat?" " What are you looking at?" " Hoo-hoo-hooo!" "(Doorbell ringing)" " (Doorbell ringing)" " All right!" "(Veronica) All right!" "Who is it?" "Hello?" "No, there's nobody there, love." "Go back to bed." "(Veronica) No, it's nothing." "It's probably just kids." "Get the baseball bat if you want, but I don't think you'll need it..." "Veronica!" "Kev, you scared..." "What you doin' down there?" "Veronica Fisher...will you do me the honour of being my wife?" "is this a wind-up?" "Course I will, you daft bugger!" "(Veronica squealing and laughing)" " What's going on?" " l don't know." "They look happy." " That could be you and Mandy Maguire!" " Don't!" "Watch the door!" "Whaa!" "(Veronica singing, shower running)" "(Cheering in pub)" "(Girl) 'Like a little boy in need of mothering!" "'" "'Veronica Fisher, will you do me the honour of being my wife?" "'" " (Frank) 'Hey, Carol...' - ..my son-in-law!" "(Frank humming Wedding March)" "(Cheering)" "Right, come on, hurry up, sit down!" "Uh-uh-uh-uh-uh!" "Can we have a bit of hush, please?" "Everyone settled?" "We've got an announcement to make." "(Whispers) Do we not need drinks?" "For the toast?" " Are you getting married?" " Debbie!" " ls that it?" " Yes." "Kev and me are getting married!" "A proper wedding?" "Oh, can I be the bridesmaid?" " Nice one, Kev!" " (Everyone talking at once)" " (Veronica) Aw, sorry, kiddo, next time." " Congratulations, Kev!" "(Veronica) Come here, monkey boy!" " How long's it take to get a divorce?" " Think you have to get married first." "I'm already married." "I don't even know where she is." "She was in Carlisle." "Look, I know a decent solicitor." "I can give him a call." "Behind her back?" "Why have you never told her?" "Fuck knows." "We were only married a year." "You're gonna have to tell her before she broadcasts it to the entire estate." "Hey up, hey up, he-e-e-ey!" "So this is where you're hiding!" "Yeah?" "Might be a bit late for that." "What do you think?" "I think it might need a few alterations!" "Right, on my side, we've got Mum, Uncle Terry, Mick and Sylvia," "Janet, Rhonda, Clem and Pete." "Then there's me brothers" " Barry, Mitch, little Leo." "No-one's talking to our Phil." "And Marty's still in prison." "What about your side?" " (TV) 'Stockport, two-to-one favourite...'" " Kev!" " Whoever." " Well, who do you want to invite?" "I'm telling you now, your Kelly's not coming for starters." "You do the list." "Then you'll get your own way." " What is your problem?" " l haven't got a problem." "See your face!" "I'm not dragging you round." "We're gonna do this together." "There is no way I'm sorting it all out on me own." "Just because we're getting married, I'm not gonna shuffle round..." " Veronica..." " What?" "I've gotta go to work." "It's Kev." "Kev Ball." "Yeah." "Sorry to ring you out of the blue." "Have you got a number for your Roxy?" "You're joking?" "GBH?" "What happened?" "Golf club?" "Jesus!" "She took 'em clean off?" "Erm...when you visit her, can you pass on a message for me?" "Yeah." "Tell her I want a divorce." "Are you lan Gallagher?" "You're fucking dead!" "Get here, you!" "Think you can force yourself on our Mandy?" " Picked the wrong one!" "You'll be dead!" " Fuck off, Paki!" " Do you hear me, Gallagher?" " Leave him!" "He'll be out the back and down the street." "Come on." "Tell him he's a marked man." " (Kash) lan?" "Ian?" " (Knocking on door) lt's all right, they've gone." "I've put the lock on." "I didn't touch her, Kash." "She just... lt's all right." "Come here." "We're here." "Why don't I like her?" "Why couldn't I touch her?" " You know why." " No, I don't." "Cos loads of real lads fancy her." "Why can't I?" " Because you're..." " What?" "A poof?" "Like you?" "With a wife and two kids?" "Cos maybe that's what I want." "Maybe, if I try hard, I can convince myself I'm straight cos l tell you what, Kash, it'd make my life a fuck of a lot easier!" "You think?" "Easier?" "Lying to your family for the next 20 years." "Listening to people in the shop and in the pub making jokes about how filthy it is without being able to say anything." "Sleeping with a woman every night even though you don't like the feel of her skin." "You think that's easy?" "(Television blaring)" "(Door closing)" "Mandy called round earlier." "Said she'd got the wrong brother." "Fancied seeing what an older man could do." " (Cheering on TV)" " You wanker!" "What did they do?" " lan, what did they say?" " What do you think?" "I wasn't even bothered till he brought it up." "Now it's like I'm dragging him down the aisle." "What's up with him?" " He's had a face like a slapped arse." " Maybe he doesn't want to get married." "Maybe he asked you cos he thinks that's what you want." "Nine years, no ring on your finger." "Most women would've ditched him by now." "I've thought about it, but it's never mattered." "You just know whether someone's right or not. lf it works, it works." "The way things are between us is perfect." "So why change it?" "What's the one thing that breaks up long-term couples?" "Other than the pressies and the piss-up, give me three good reasons why you wanna get married." " What?" " Why are we getting married?" "I think I was excited cos you're meant to be." "You know, the idea of it all." "Nice dress, fancy ring, people looking at you like you're summat special." "Hmm." "But when I stopped and thought about it, it just seemed pointless." "We don't need a piece of paper to tell us we love each other." "No, that's exactly what I was..." "Hang on." "This isn't a test, is it?" "One of them women things?" "You pretend you don't wanna do something to see if I'll talk you round?" "Well, if it is, you've just failed!" "What'll we tell people?" "We've changed our minds." "Actually, don't tell 'em anything till they've bought the presents." "Size of my family, we'll get the whole house kitted out!" "Do you know what?" "I love the arse off you." "How could you not?" "(Doorbell ringing) lgnore it." "(Mum outside) Veronica!" "Veronica!" "Hurry up!" "I'm gonna wet meself out here!" " (Wedding March playing)" " Picture the scene." "Beautiful church." "Sun's shining, all your friends and family gathered together." "Kev waiting at the front in his new beige suit, nervous, excited." "Then suddenly you appear, the blushing bride!" "Radiant, voluptuous!" "You're walking arm in arm with your father down the aisle." "He's proud, he's tearful..." "He's dead!" "Well, that's what he would've wanted... had the good Lord not seen fit to take him away from us." "So... ..he left you this instead." "He never made a will because he didn't want people squabbling over it so he put that aside." "He was old-fashioned - reckoned any father worth his salt should be able to pay for his daughter's wedding." "Five grand?" "He was a good man, Veronica." "He wanted me to keep that until the time was right." " (Military march playing)" " How do I turn this thing off?" "(Switches off music)" "(Banging on door)" "GO AWAY!" "Ian Gallagher." "Tell lan Gallagher we want him out here now." "Ian?" "Have you seen him?" "If you see him, you tell him I'm looking for him, all right?" "ALL right?" "!" "Long story." "Why did you lie?" "Why did you tell 'em I attacked you?" " Get him away from me." " Tell them the truth!" " Please!" "They're gonna kill me!" " Get him away from me!" "You need locking up!" "Fucking pervert!" "Kev!" "Kev!" "Look!" "(lncomprehensible shouting)" "Buy your own house!" "Aye. (Mumbles)" "Right-to-buy scheme." "Council are selling off the houses." " So?" " So five grand plus the bit in the bank." "We could almost buy our place outright." "Our own home, Kev!" "What do you think?" "Walk down the aisle, couple of "l do's"." "Be worth it to get our own place." "Gotta get a move on." "Closing date's end of the month." "What's up?" "I can't marry you." "There's something you should know." "Fuck me." "Fucking hell." "Roxy Benson." "I remember her from school." " She were gorgeous." " She were a 'ead case." "She used to throw plates at me." "She couldn't handle her drink." "Talk about fiery." "That's where l got that scar on the back of me neck." "Oh, the amount of times I nearly told you over the years, but, you know, the further away it got, the more unreal it seemed." "That's the only thing that I have got to prove that it ever happened." "You look a right twat on there, don't you?" "A fucking mullet." "That's worse than finding out you were married." "I'm sorry." "I just..." "I didn't want anything to spoil it for us... so I buried it." " How long will it take to divorce her?" " Six months. I dunno, maybe longer." "I think we might have to forget about buying the house." "Aww, I'm sorry." "Hang on." " What?" " We don't have to actually get married." "If my mum wants a wedding..." "why don't we give her a wedding?" " You're gonna fake it?" " Why not?" " You can't!" " Why not?" "We'll still be married." "It just won't be legal." "(Cackling laughter)" "Dress, rings, photographer, the works." " lt's got to be like the real thing." " (Both) Except cheaper." " Your wedding car, madam." " Oh, Steve!" " You might have to be in black!" " Whatever!" "Quentin, how do you fancy a couple of months' free rent?" "Repeat after me." "I, Veronica Carol Fisher, take this man, Kevin Alan Ball... (Veronica) Take this man, Kevin Alan Ball... (Quentin) ..to be my lawfully wedded husband." " lsn't it illegal to impersonate a vicar?" " You're not a vicar, you're a registrar." "Even so..." "Hello, Gallagher." "Tell your brother, no one gives us the run-around." "If he shows his face tomorrow, we'll fucking kill him!" "You understand?" "You understand?" "!" "Good." " Something you're not telling us?" " lt's Mandy Maguire!" " She's not someone you say no to." " Why'd you want to?" "Jail bait!" " Kev!" " You can't say she isn't foxy!" "Ian, why don't I see if they can't listen to reason?" "Whoa, posh lad, you'll come back in bin bags!" "You can't just give in to these people." "I'll go round. I know their old man from the pub." "He's all right." "Well, as violent piss-heads go." "Mm?" "(Large dog barking)" "(Dog snarling and growling)" "(Barking and growling)" "Where is he?" "Where the bleedin' hell is he?" "He's got his stag do in an hour!" "Here you go." " Ta." " Do you want another one?" "How would we know what's happened?" "That eldest's a maniac!" "He did for Sally." "Got off cos he intimidated a witness." " Veronica!" " Hey, he started this mess!" "I'll end up a widow before I'm married!" "Erm, well, you know, "married"." "All right, take your time with this one." "You might have to identify the body!" " (Car horn/knocking at door)" " Lip!" " Oh, it's the police." " Oh, no!" "Oh, it's all right, it's only Helmet." "He's got Kev with him." "Oh, thank God for that!" "I pictured myself at his funeral!" "Black does nothing for me legs!" "I thought I were gonna be there all night!" "Tone gave me a lift back." " What happened?" " (Kev sighing)" "Well, I goes round there." "I ask if I can have a word, you know, private and that." "Anyway, fair enough, he invites me in and they're all sat there in a row." "Every single one of them on the couch, arms folded," "Alsatian at my feet, growling." "So I explained the situation." "I put lan's case forward - misunderstanding, blah, blah, blah." "Didn't mean to offend her." "They listened." "Fair do's." "They offer us a beer and a spliff." "And basically..." "I agreed to keep me "fecking nose out of it"." " (Veronica) ls that it?" "!" " What could I do?" "They flogged us a camcorder for t'wedding." "You useless wanker!" "I thought you were dead!" " l can't believe I'm marrying you!" " You're not." " lan!" " (Door slamming)" "See this badge?" "Now, I know it doesn't count for a lot round here these days, but we haven't lost the fight yet." "A word in the right ear could make things go away." " l didn't want you getting involved." " Why not?" "We don't need the police fighting our battles." "Not the police, me, Tony." "Fancy coming out tomorrow?" "The police are having a friends-and-family day out." "Bite to eat, a few drinks." "Let your hair down." "They have a rifle range so you can get your own back on the scum." "It's Kev and Veronica's wedding tomorrow." "We're off out on the hen night now." "Right, right." "So do you fancy it or not?" "(Raucous, drunken laughter)" "OK, you ready?" "Oh, me chuff!" "Oh, come on, V!" "(Giggling)" "Let's go!" "There's only one way out of this." "You know that, don't you?" "(Fiona and Veronica giggling)" "Tell them." "(Veronica cackling)" " Where am I sleeping?" " Dad's bed's free!" "(Giggling) Bugger off!" " You can always kip in with me!" " Keep your hands to yourself!" " (Veronica giggling loudly)" " Shh shh!" "Shit!" " (Banging and clattering outside door)" " Hm?" "(Tannoy) 'The 5:45 service to London is leaving from Bay C in five minutes." "'The 5:45 service to London is leaving from Bay C in five minutes.'" "Mandy." "Move!" "Shift away now!" "I mean it, try anything and you're dead!" "I'm dead anyway!" "Your brothers'll see to that!" "Mandy, please!" "I need to talk to you properly." "Please." "I'm gay." " That the best you can come up with?" " lf was I gonna make something up... I'm hanging myself here, you know that, cos no one knows." "No one in school, no one on the estate." "Lip only knows cos he worked it out." "You're the only person I've ever told." "Like told, like said it to." "Out loud." "Look." "Nothing." "I just haven't got the right equipment." "You don't look the gay type." " ls that better?" " Piss off." "You know what I mean." "People'll suss it out, though." "15, no girlfriend." "All them lads at school to gawp at." "You know what you need." " What?" " A girlfriend." "Like film stars do when they don't want people knowing." " What do you get out of it?" " Know what it's like being me?" "All them morons hitting on me, trying to get into me knickers." "I want to find someone nice, someone interesting." "Someone like you...except not gay." "Fancy coming to a wedding?" "(Door slamming)" "(Man gasping and humming a tune)" "Oh, shit!" "(Rumbling downstairs)" "yaaaaaaah!" "yaaaaaaah!" "yaaaaaaah!" "It's me!" "Marty!" "How yer doin', mate?" "(Cymbals crash)" "Couldn't you have rang the doorbell?" "Didn't wanna wake you up." "You know Marty - thoughtful as ever." "Sun face!" " You got any sugar?" " Yeah." "Cheers." "Me mam rang, told me you were getting married, said send a card." "I'm thinking, "Sod that." "Big sister getting hooked, gonna be there."" "(Jibbers) Buckit munk!" "Hey, wouldn't have missed this for the world." "You know what they say - Marty!" "Never misses a party!" "Last time I heard, you were in prison." " Yeah, I was." "Five stretch." " When did you get out?" "Last night!" " What?" " l need to talk to Veronica." "It's the day of the wedding." "It's bad luck." "What have you got on your face?" " What's he in for?" " Aggravated burglary and arson." "Remember the dole office going up on election day?" "That were him." " He loves setting fire to things." " He's a maniac." "He came at me." "Almost felt me heart stop." "Then we're having a brew and he starts all that..." " What's that?" " Tourette's coupled with hypermania." " A psychologist's wet dream." " What are you gonna do?" "Ship him out, preferably back to prison." "If there's one person you can rely on to really fuck things up, it's Marty." "Hmm...mmm...mmm." "You can't stay, Marty, you're in prison." "Only a Cat D. They practically give you your own key." "You've got to go back, Marty." "It was nice of you to make the effort, but if they catch you, your parole's gone." " How long have you got left?" " 18 months." "Wanky!" "Exactly." "No time." "But it's your wedding day..." "Buckit, buckit, bi...!" "They'll be looking for you." "Why don't you go back, hand yourself in?" "Tell 'em it was a mistake, moment of madness, won't happen again." "Me and Kev'll back you up, make sure they listen to you." " You know it's for the best." " Buckus!" "Drink up." "We can have you back before breakfast." "I am not going back, Ronnie!" "I'm not missing your wedding day, all right?" " What time is it?" " Quarter to twelve." "(Sighing) We've got two hours." "We'll just have to let him come, sort it out after." "No way, Kev!" "I'm not having that nutcase at my wedding!" "One wrong word and everything'll go ballistic!" "Imagine the service!" ""Do you, Veronica - buckabit" " Fisher, take Kevin - donkey-bit" " Ball?"" " Sorry!" " That wouldn't be so bad." "We'll be laughed out the building!" "He's going back if I have to drag him there!" "You all right in there, Marty?" "Marty, are you OK?" " Whereabouts, V?" " Hanging up, soon as you walk in." " lt's not." " You what?" "(Marty) Nice wedding dress, Veronica." "Burn a treat, this will." "You try and send me back to prison, the dress goes up, house goes up, we all go up." "Marty, open the door." " Open the bleedin' door!" " Shouldn't talk about Marty like that." " Ohhhh!" " (Marty) lt's not fair." "Marty doesn't like it." "And you're not getting married without me!" " (Marty) Buckabit, buckabit!" " (Lip laughing) Sorry." "(Veronica) What's he doing?" "Just sitting there." " Lighting matches." " Jesus Christ!" "He'll burn us down!" "At me grandad's funeral, he gutted half the hospice!" "Let's just call the cops." "At least we'll get shot of him." "Kev's right. lf the house goes up, we can't get him out of there." "What about the wedding?" "This is our big day!" " He's your brother!" " He's always been like this!" "Hates anyone else being the centre of attention!" "It's always about him!" "He wants putting in a nuthouse!" " Oi, oi, what's going on?" " Bit of a problem." "Can we put things back an hour?" "The room's booked till three." "We can't change things now." "What's happened?" " Veronica, your mum's here." " Get him out of here!" "Fiona, tell her I can't see her." "Just get rid of her!" " Never get married." " Carol..." "Veronica wants you coordinating things at the other end." "The whole thing's ruined." "We've got to be there in an hour." "And I've got that wanker stuck in me bathroom!" "C-Call it Catholic guilt, but I am starting to think there's a message in here somewhere." "All I want is to own me own home..." "for us." "Somewhere we can feel safe, somewhere we can call our own." "Maybe fetch kids up in." " l thought you didn't want any kids." " Based on what?" " On you saying how much you hate 'em." " Yeah, other people's." "But I might not mind a baby Kev running around." "What are we gonna do?" "Shall we call it off?" "Say we've had second thoughts?" "No chance." "In an hour's time, we're getting married and there's nothing gonna stop that." "Remember when we were kids?" "How you'd always tag along wherever I went." "I know I got angry and that, shouted at you... but I always looked after you, didn't I, Marty?" "You know why?" "Because I'm your big sister... and I didn't want you getting in any trouble because I love you." "And that's why I want you to go back to prison." "But I've been thinking about the wedding... and you know something?" "You're right." "Because... my wedding day wouldn't be my wedding day... without my little brother there." "In fact... I'd like you to be the one to give me away." "Marty?" "You mean it?" "Cross me heart." "Oh, come here and give us an 'ug, you daft little bugger!" "What...?" "You..." "You bitch!" "You lying, two-faced..." "buckit's munk!" "I'll burn your fucking house down!" " Performance of a lifetime." " Just call me Nurse Ronnie!" " Right, let's get him out of here." " Nice one." "Yeah, mid-twenties, probably a junkie." "He looks like he might be dead." "Chatsworth Park." "He's frightening the kiddies." "All right." "Sorted." "(# Loud rock music playing)" " What are you doing here?" " Came for a drink." "Yeah, one, then piss off home." " Hiya, gorgeous!" "What's your name?" " Quentin." "Quentin?" "With a Q?" "You'd think they'd have toilet paper on special occasions." " (Rhythmic banging behind door)" " Tina!" "Tina!" "Your husband's turned up!" "You what?" " (Man) Buckit piss!" " You what?" "!" "Buckit!" "(Giggling and panting next door)" "(Rhythmic panting)" "# (Music playing) Re-light my fire... #" "Buckit!" "(Music outside) # Re-light my fire... #" "(Music playing) # The look of love... #" "So...what do you think, Mrs Ball?" " You happy?" " Very happy." "Hey." "This is for you." "Official." "It's been a perfect day." "I only wish our Marty could've been here." "Oh, bloody hell!" "Fire!" "Get out now!" "(Panicked shouting)" "(Veronica) 'We couldn't keep the money." "We had to pay for Marty's fireworks." "'So we never bought the house, but we got our day to remember 'and I wouldn't change that, not for anything.'" "Gi'e us a pint before I go, Jez." "(Siren)" " We are looking for 3-year-old boy..." " Debbie nabbed a kid." " ..answering to the name of..." " JODY!" "What will they do to her?" "If that kid was one of mine, I'd want that guy's bollocks in a bag!" "Are you right in the bloody head?" "She's not screwy and she didn't steal him." "She borrowed him." " Some chocolate buttons." " Who saw you?" " Nobody." "We just ran." " Please contact us." "We need your help." "Who the fuck are you?" "(Siren)" "Pig!" "Scum!" "Filthy pig!" "Piggy!" " (Snorting)" " Shut it, smart arse!" " Buckit!" " (Brakes screeching, thud)"