"Hey, Taryn." "Breakfast is ready!" "Ooh, that looks good." "Thanks, hon." "Um..." "No butter?" "You're on a diet." "Oh, right." "How could I forget?" "Ew." "Guys, get a room." "You know, I'd be happy just to get a waffle." "Have a wonderful first day, senior." "Thanks, will." "Mom, this looks great." "Thanks." "Smile." "Mom, lease don't!" "No!" "You ready?" "Yes." "I'm just gonna have a quick breakfast." "No, are you ready, Taryn?" "You've got college applications, s.A.T.S, the prom." "This is going to be an exciting year." "Well, I'm not holding my breath for that." "Taryn, you're a very smart girl." "You just need to focus." "I'm just making sure you're dotting your I's and crossing your t's." "That's all." "I am, mom." "I'm dotting and I'm crossing." "I also think that you could spend a little more time prepping for your s.A.T.S." "Rather than messing around with your phone." "Do you really need to follow me online?" "It's my job." "I have to keep tabs on you." "Mm." "Great." "Hey, come by the office today and say hello." "You'll be at school?" "Yes." "They asked for parent volunteers for first day." "Oh." "Lovely." "Oh, don't freak out when you get your schedule." "Remember I told you colleges like interesting electives?" "I signed you up for yearbook." "Thanks." "Bye." "Bye." ""Class of..."" "Class of awesome." "I was just gonna go with the school year." "Here you go." "Booked, blurred, digged." "Wouldn't that be "dug"?" "Boom. "Class of awesome."" "Oh, yeah." "So very awesome." "What's wrong?" "You're not embracing the awesome." "Just same old." "Your mom?" "Yeah." "She's all over me about s.A.T.S and applications and..." "University of michigan?" "Yes." "Sucks, but it'll all be worth it when we're there together." "How do you feel about christmas lights?" "Elena..." "I was thinking we can line our dorm room with white christmas lights." "You know, I'm thinking I'm just gonna try and get through the school year first, hopefully make track team, maybe come up with a date for the prom, you know, before I start thinking about white christmas lights." "Taryn, we're the dream team, okay?" "We're gonna kill it in college." "I'm not really killing it in high school, so..." "So use your senior year to find your bliss." "Did you really just quote joseph campbell?" "You know, your thing." "You know, I am who I am." "I'm kind of a done deal." "So mix it up." "For example, check it." "Do you like it?" "Holy crap!" "Your hair is blue!" "Wow!" "You've really taken nonconformity." "To a whole new level." "Well, you could do the same." "No, I don't think that blue would suit my complexion." "Well, if you're worried about being that girl who always plays it safe, who never gets into trouble, who never makes it past second base..." "Third." "I've been to third base." "Whatever." "All I'm trying to say is this is your chance to mix it up." "You want people to see you different, you got to be different." "Find your freaking bliss." "And where does one look for bliss?" "Behind you." "Hey!" "Oh!" "I missed you guys." "Hey." "Yo." "Nice run this morning, Taryn." "You got fast over the summer." "Oh, thanks." "How was wayland?" "Caledonia." "Nice memory." "Caledonia was boss." "Life-guarding, horse-riding, decent cabins, hot girls, cool kids." "I've got some summer pictures on my phone, too." "Oh." "You and rayna?" "No." "We broke up in july." "You and rayna broke up?" "Yeah." "It was just time, you know?" "We need to get to homeroom." "Wait." "It's not even..." "What is wrong with you?" "Ryder just told you that he's finally free." "Why are you running away?" "He's into you." "Yeah, into me enough to talk about the "hot girls" in caledonia." "He likes me as a friend..." "Just a friend." "No." "Worse." "He likes me as a guy friend." "Do you think it's actually possible that ryder thinks that I'm a guy with boobs?" "Okay, first, you barely have boobs." "Thanks." "Who's that?" "New girl, I guess." "Her name's nina." "She got kicked out of her last school." "I hear she's crazy into some hardcore stuff." "Hardcore like an affair with the principal?" "I don't know." "I just know it's weird and it's hardcore." "G.P." "Later, courtney." "Seriously..." "Don't start." "Why are you nice to her?" "Because she matters." "Not to me." "Come on." "Let's go to homeroom." "I'll meet you there." "Are you okay?" "Do you want me to call 911?" "No." "Is something..." "I'll call 911." "I'm..." "I'm cool." "It's... it's all good." "Just give me a second." "Look, do me a solid, okay?" "Don't tell anyone that I was..." "What the hell are you doing?" "Uh, nina was helping me find a contact lens." "Nina and you?" "Yeah." "Yeah." "Well, don't worry about your contact." "I'm sure mommy has a whole stash of personal items for you." "Yeah, it's... hi, there, new girl nina." "I'm courtney, which you would have found out by the end of the day anyways, 'cause that's the way it is." "I'm going to offer you a helpful heads-up." "At this school, being nice gets you a one-way ticket to g.P." "What do you mean g.P.?" "General population." "Nice." "It's no big deal." "It's just, like, courtney's nickname for people who are..." "Average, mediocre, less than 100 followers online." "Look, nina, here's the deal..." "People like shiny, new things." "That's you." "You're an asset." "Hang with me, and you won't have to worry about climbing the social ladder." "You'll already be on top." "Jenny?" "Yes." "Steve?" "Taryn, I'm meeting with your mom at lunch for the fundraiser if you want to join us." "Lunch with her mommy?" "Sure." "Maybe." "And... nina, I assume?" "That's me." "Great." "Welcome to tec voc." "Everyone else, welcome to a final year of homeroom with me." "Uh, since you all know the drill by now and we have 10 minutes till first period, anyone want to volunteer to give nina a quick tour of the school?" "I got this, ms." "Moore." "Nina and I already talked." "I'll give her the grand tour." "Great." "You girls go ahead and..." "Actually, Taryn's going to give me the grand tour." "What?" "I don't know." "Ready, Taryn?" "Yeah." "So, um, the cafeteria is on the other side of campus, but, I mean, you'll probably eat at the sundial." "Oh, is that where you eat?" "No." "I'm not really invited." "Um, english and also calculus are in the homerooms on this floor, and then one up is math and science." "Hey, I don't care." "Oh, sorry." "No." "I just meant" "I can figure out classrooms and stuff by myself." "How about you, you know, show me the good stuff, like where to sneak off campus, which janitor's closets are left unlocked, best places to hook up without getting busted." "I don't really know." "Seriously?" "And you're a senior?" "So, you're from central?" "Word gets around." "They didn't kick me out, if that's what everyone's saying." "Oh." "Is that what everyone's saying?" "My mom got a better job which means we got a better house." "This is supposed to be a better school, so here I am, being all better at the better school." "Cool gym." "So, what do you think?" "Do you like it here?" "Mm, I wouldn't say that." "Yeah." "Feels kind of like a prison, doesn't it?" "But they all feel like that." "Different walls, but the same message..." "Keep your grades up and your heads down." "Yeah, well, sounds about right." "Good news is that in a year, none of this will matter." "Why?" "Because we'll have escaped, be the hell out of this high-school crap." "That's why." "Then why make the prison even worse?" "I mean, courtney could make your life miserable, and you don't even know me." "Girls like courtney are a dime a dozen." "They're at every school." "They're all the same, and they all suck." "Besides, it was cool of you not to rat me out for my little game in the bathroom." "Well, you know, I'm just glad that I found you, because, I mean, I don't know about at central, but, I mean, if they found out you were doing drugs," "they would just..." "Uh, what?" "I'm not into drugs." "Oh." "You didn't take something?" "No." "Please." "That's for people who want to be out of control, which is the last thing that I'm into." "So what are you into?" "Maybe I'll tell you sometime." "No." "No." "She's not going to chapel hill." "No, she's not going to syracuse, either." "No, all of those out-of-town schools are way too expensive." "Yes, I have heard of scholarships." "But I only got the last four years alone with her." "I don't..." "I don't want to send her hundreds of miles away." "I'm home!" "Oh, Taryn's on her way in." "I-I'll talk to you later." "I love you, mom." "Bye." "Hi!" "Hey." "How'd it go?" "Fine." "Really?" "How was yearbook?" "It was fine." "Just fine?" "I was gonna use that hour for a study period, mom." "I'm already taking four a.P. Classes." "I'm not worried about that." "Well, I am." "Well, that's because you always worry about the small stuff." "You should just worry about the stuff that matters." "Hey, everyone." "Hey." "How are you?" "I'm good." "You?" "Good." "Fine." "So, how'd it go?" "Fine." "That's the third "fine" I've gotten in five minutes." "Mm-hmm." "Hmm." "Heidi?" "Taryn?" "I'm just trying to help her figure out her life." "Mom won't back off trying to ruin my life." "Whoa." "Can I call a truce, please?" "I'm going to my room." "What happened?" "I don't know." "Yo, Taryn, what's up?" "Let me guess..." "latte?" "Decaf." "Cool." "Give me just a sec." "Hey, Taryn." "Nice to see you off school property." "Your mom's really easing up." "Yeah, well, shstill wanted me home for dinner." "You and your parents eat dinner together?" "Yeah, every night without fail." "Seems nice." "Yeah, not really." "So, how's it going?" "Oh, fine." "Uh, that steve guy asked me out." "No way!" "A month and a half into school, and you're still the hot, new thing?" "People see who you want them to see." "Yeah, right." "How do you get that to happen?" "What's with him?" "What do you mean?" "Oh, come on." "Ryder, right?" "You're always drooling over him like a piece of steak." "No, I'm not." "A piece of chocolate, then." "What's the deal?" "We've been friends forever, and I wish that it was different, but it's just..." "Yo, Taryn, drinks." "Stop." "You're pretty, you're funny, and you're cool." "Just go make him see that." "How?" "Take control." "Show him that there's more to you than fist bumps and high fives." "Flirt a little." "Connect with him." "Ask him about his day or tell him something cute about yours." "Just try it." "Can't hurt, right?" "Right." "Decaf latte and a spiced chai for your friend." "So, how's school?" "Cold." "My homeroom heater's jacked up or something." "Oh, ours is the same way..." "Freezing, and then you go out into the hallway, and it's like way too hot." "Yeah." "Someone really needs to fix it." "What?" "Are we really talking about heating systems here?" "Hey, ryder." "Hey, courtney." "Can I get you a refill?" "No." "Just wanted to make sure you got the 411 about my party." "Yeah, I heard." "I'll be there." "Cool." "Yeah, my parents are going out of town." "My brother scored a keg." "Everyone's gonna be there, so, you know... epic." "Oh, I am so sorry." "Am I interrupting something here?" "No." "I-I was just gonna go anyway, so..." "I'm sorry." "You're sorry?" "Wait." "Taryn, just wait a second." "Taryn, wait!" "Hey, wait." "Hold on." "She's just trying to piss you off." "It's fine." "I'm not the kind of girl who takes the lead." "Whatever." "Only because you've never tried." "I can help you with that." "I appreciate it." "Really, I do." "But I can't compete." "I mean, I can't make ryder like me." "I'm not like courtney, and I'm not like you, either." "But you could be." "I know a way to get a little extra shot of mojo, just a little boost to make you feel like you can do anything." "What are you talking about?" "Have you ever heard of the choking game?" "Yeah." "But, I mean, like..." "Let me guess..." "Anyone who's ever tried it dies or ends up brain-dead." "Pretty much." "Yeah, well, the people who believe that also think that beer and sex were invented by satan." "True." "But wasn't there that kid in ypsilanti who died doing it?" "Yeah, well, I mean, how many people die every day from getting in a car or slipping in the shower?" "You can make anything seem dangerous if you spin it the wrong way." "So you..." "Do the choking thing, like, a lot?" "Please." "At my last school, it was bigger than booze." "And you don't have to get an adult to buy it for you." "You have all the control." "Get control of yourself, get control of your life." "It's the easiest thing in the world." "Make people see who you want them to see." "Please come and pick them up at the front desk." "Oh, heidi, I forgot to tell you that, uh..." "That dinner got bumped to the 23rd." "Okay." "No, wait." "I can't go that night." "Why not?" "There's a seniors' parents meeting at the school." "Well, this is my partner dinner." "I think you can miss one parent/teacher meeting." "No, I really can't." "They're going to go over college applications and transitions from high school into college, and it's just a very important night for Taryn." "Yeah, okay, well, this is important to me." "Okay." "I know." "Heidi, talk to me." "I mean, really talk." "Don't just rattle off your to-do list." "What's going on?" "She's becoming so..." "I don't know." "I... she doesn't tell me anything anymore." "She's almost 18." "Well, she never says anything at dinner." "She's in and out of the house so fast." "I'm home!" "Hi." "Do you want some breakfast?" "No, got to get ready for school." "See what I mean?" "She's asking for her space." "Maybe we should give it to her." "Well, that's not my strong suit." "Really?" "I didn't notice." "You're kidding." "Okay, okay." "I'm gonna back off." "I'm sorry." "Can I have that in writing?" "Thank you." "Write it down." "For now." "Write it down." "Okay, fine." "I'll write it down." "Heidi is backing off." "Mm-hmm." "Early much?" "I just went to the gym." "I've still got to get ready, though." "Being a runner must give you some stellar breath control." "I guess." "Oh, that's right." "You go more for the ryder sightings." "So, um..." "With your, uh..." "Your choking..." "You're interested?" "Let's call it "curious."" "Great." "But I don't want to talk about it over the phone." "Come over before school." "On my way." "So, you smoke any weed?" "It doesn't do much for me." "Maybe I got the wrong kind." "What about you?" "No, it makes me paranoid, and I go through way too many cheetos." "So, do you drink?" "Mm, sometimes." "Next time you're at a party, check out the drunk girls." "They all think they look cool, but really, they're stumbling and slurring and throwing their boobs around." "That's why I like flying better." "Just cutting off the oxygen to your brain for a couple seconds." "Is that all?" "Relax." "It's not like you hang yourself." "Look, when you're hungry, doesn't your body let you know?" "Same thing when you're thirsty?" "And when you're tired?" "My body lets me know." "Think about it." "If you wanted to commit suicide, could you physically do it by holding your breath?" "No." "Why?" "Because I'd pass out." "Before...?" "I died." "Exactly." "When you need to breathe, your body lets you know." "It's medical." "It's science." "You're in control." "And being that in control, being able to trust yourself like that, it's..." "It makes you able to have control anywhere..." "School, at home, with ryder." "There's this one girl I've heard of who can hold her breath for like seven minutes." "She's kind of a legend." "You can find her on like all these..." "Hi, girls." "Mom, don't you knock?" "This is Taryn." " Hi, Taryn." " Nice to meet you." "Nina, pink or black?" "For my date tonight." "First date or second?" "First." "Then pink." "Great." "Thanks." "I thought you liked the guy from yesterday." "He was okay." "This one's from a more elite dating site." "He seems smarter and definitely cuter." "I stocked up on frozen dinners." "Of course you did." "Don't wait up for me." "Nice to meet you, Taryn." "You guys eat frozen dinners?" "What?" "She buys the good ones." "We'd better get to school." "That's the one good thing about being in yearbook..." "Seniors get a key." "Yeah." "Who needs a janitor's closet?" "So, how often is it empty at lunch like that?" "Taryn, where were you?" "I couldn't find you." "Hey." "Sorry." "Uh, we were just..." "Working on a school project." "Uh, your hair's looking really good, elena." "Thanks." "I'll see you later." "Dinner at 6:00?" "Yeah, great." "Great." "So, yesterday, all "checking in" to street buzz." "Way to be proactive on the ryder front." "I was just meeting nina." "New subject... your birthday." "What are we doing for the 1-8?" "Sleepover?" "Dude..." "Sleepover with beer?" "This is an important birthday." "You know that, right?" "Yeah." "Good point." "The age of escape." "I was thinking more along the lines of the age where..." "Taryn, hey." "Hey." "Hi." "You bailed in a hurry last night." "Oh, yeah." "I-I remembered I had to go do something." "Oh." "I'm going to class, Taryn." "Wait." "I'm coming." "I'll see you." "I'm not much for subtleties, but that was a thing." "I don't think so." "Ryder is hot, smart, and nice." "Look." "The vultures are swarming." "For real, ask him out already." "I'm not there yet." "Yeah, well, you'd better work faster if you want some of that." "I know." "Can I get you girls anything?" "We're fine, mom." "Yeah." "Thanks again for dinner." "Sure." "You're welcome." "I'm glad you could join us, nina." "Yeah, me too." "Mom..." "Looks like your mom is pretty cool." "Yeah, well, looks can be deceiving." "So you're like a stepford kid?" "Everything's all perfect in here, like from a magazine." "Bet you have something cute in your uber-organized closet for courtney's party." "Well, I haven't been invited to courtney's party." "So?" "You know ryder's gonna be there, right?" "Do we have to go over this again?" "All you have to do to belong is act like you belong." "Owning the joint is believing you own the joint." "I just want to get out of the joint." "I can get you out for a minute or two... or even less." "It's your call." "Okay, let's do it." "Only if you want to." "I want to." "Great." "So, I'm just gonna put my thumbs right here..." "Sorry, sorry." "I just wasn't ready." "Okay, let's do it." "No." "No?" "No." "You don't really seem like you want to, and that's totally cool." "Look, I'm not some pushy boy trying to talk you into sex." "There's no pressure here, no deadlines." "When you're really ready to try it, we'll try it." "And if not, no big." "Thank you." "In the meantime, you can be my wingman!" "Here." "Come on." "Here." "Don't worry." "You won't hurt me." "So how will I know when to stop?" "I'll put my hands on your wrist." "When I've had enough, I'll let go." "And when I let go, you let go." "It's my body, so I know what it's telling me." "You have to trust me." "Cool?" "Okay." "Trust me." "Unless I drop my hands, don't let go." "Don't..." "let... go." "Go." "Am I doing this right?" "Nina?" "Nina?" "I-I don't... talk to..." "Say something, please, nina." "Nina!" "I think I should let go!" "I think I should let..." "Nina, ta..." "I think I should let go!" "Nina." "Nina?" "Nina?" "Nina?" "Nina?" "!" "Nina?" "!" "Oh, my god." "Nina!" "Nina!" "Holy crap." "That was awesome." "What is going on in here?" "!" "I heard screaming." "Mom, nothing!" "We're fine!" "Are you girls sure you're okay?" "Mom, we're fine!" "Yeah, never better!" "I'm sorry." "It was a rocking song on the radio." "I'm sorry we worried you." "It was my bad." "We're fine." "Okay." "Oh, my god, you're a pro!" "Really?" "That was okay?" "That was better than okay!" "You were like my parachute, my safety net." "Because you were doing it," "I could totally go to that other place." "Normally, I only get a grayout, but that was a full ride, total blackout." "You're a rock star!" "A rock star?" "To you, maybe." "Me now, ryder later." "Act like you believe something, and everyone else will, too." "Anyway, I better get going." "See you at school!" "Good night." "Good night, nina." "Taryn..." "What was really going on in here?" "We were just hanging out." "Are you sure?" "Yes." "Mom..." "Come on, tar... mom!" "We have a deal, right?" "You, me, and only the truth." "Okay." "Well..." "I like this guy, and he's never really shown before that he likes me, and so nina said that I should talk to him." "And so I did, and he sent me a text." "And I got really excited about it, and I guess I just..." "We were too loud about it." "I'm sorry." "I know it's silly, but..." "What?" "You just haven't talked to me that much about boys before." "Track, yes." "Actually..." "I think it's really great, and I'm glad you have a friend to share it with." "Nina seems like a really great girl." "Yeah, she is." "Cool." "Here we go with the boys." "Hey." "Hey." "I thought you had something to do today." "I do." "I did." "It's done." "Mysterious much?" "Check it." "Someone's favorite indie band is playing at wilson's chapel." "Oh, my gosh!" "Greer!" "I love them!" "Check the date." "My birthday." "Told you I'd come up with something cool for us to do." "Wilson's chapel..." "Isn't that a bar?" "Yep." "And that's the other part of your present." "My cousin is scoring us fake I.D.S." "Shut up." "Right?" "Oh, my gosh!" "You rock." "Thank you." "And yeah, I do." "Is that a new shirt?" "Yeah." "It's, uh... it's nina's." "What's that?" "Uh, youth hostels in europe." "Don't tell me you're actually considering that gap-year thing." "I'm actually considering the gap-year thing." "We had plans." "No." "You had plans, elena, and..." "I'm still trying to figure mine out." "What about our kick-ass dorm room at u of m?" "Do you want to escape that, too?" "I think that I need to see more before I can make a decision." "Maybe travel is my bliss." "Maybe crazy is your bliss." "Ask him out already." "Hey." "How's it going?" "Good." "Hi." "What's that?" "Medical terminology?" "Yeah, I'm just trying to get ahead of the game for college next year." "Oh." "I thought you were going for a football scholarship." "No." "I'm gonna be premed." "Oh." "Have you forgotten how you and I used to nerd out together?" "No, I just..." "Now you do football." "Yeah, and now you wear contacts." "We're still the same people." "Well, not completely." "I'm not a latchkey kid anymore." "Well, I still am, only I don't spend every afternoon in your basement playing video games these days." "Which means I'm still reigning champion." "You wish!" "I won the last game." "Right." "Oh, you're making me miss my empty house." "Now my mom is home all the time." "Seriously all the time." "Well, maybe I could talk to your mom about leaving the house more often." "It's rayna." "I thought you guys broke up." "She texted me, asking to talk." "Go ahead." "I can call her later." "Oh, it's cool." "You should talk to her." "You want me to talk to her?" "Well, I mean, if you want to talk to her, you should talk to her." "Hey, rayna." "No, you're not interrupting anything." "Hey." "I'm ready." "Cool." "Meet me before homeroom tomorrow, okay?" "There's something fun about risky public behavior, you know?" "I do know." "So, you're sure you're ready?" "To grow some balls?" "Yeah." "I am ready." "Good." "Because I'm not going to touch you." "What?" "This is about you, you trusting yourself." "Feel this?" "That's all the power you need." "Right here." "It's yours." "Ready?" "Go." "Keep holding." "You've got this, Taryn." "Keep holding on." "Don't give up." "You're so strong." "You're stronger than you think you are." "Keep going, Taryn!" "Keep going, keep going!" "You are stronger than you think you are." "Keep going!" "Keep pushing for it!" "Keep going, keep going, keep going!" "Taryn?" "Taryn?" "Hey." "How are you?" "Amazing." "That was amazing." "Oh... my... god." "You guys are so busted." "Hey, I got your text." "What's wrong?" "I saw courtney talking to ms." "Moore." "Hey, it's okay." "Relax." "I can't relax." "If my mom finds out about what we were doing she will freak out." "She won't get that it's not a big deal." "And then I-I'll have to forget about my car and track team and..." "Hey, no one's freaking." "Courtney's probably just talking to her about school or something." "Yeah, right." "Maybe she's sucking up to get better grades." "Who the hell knows?" "Better get to class." "Why?" "You mean here?" "Concrete floor is too dangerous." "Don't worry." "We'll find somewhere better." "Besides, do you really want to go sit in calculus?" "Okay, anyone whose butt is not in their chair right now." "Is officially late." "Um, okay, guys, I looked over your pop quizzes from last week, and not super-impressive..." "All better?" "Yeah." "Come on." "Let's go." "You're kind of a natural at it." "You know that, right?" "Must be all the running or something." "You see how when you come close to the edge, you just don't care about all that stupid crap anymore?" "If courtney narcs us out, we'll just say she's lying." "There's no proof, and it's two against one." "Act like you believe it." "I've got something for you." "What is it?" "A couple cool websites." "But check them out later when you're alone." "Websites for..." "Yeah." "And not the "you're gonna die" kind." "These are underground websites." "You have tbe invited through special hidden links to get there." "Ooh, clandestine." "Totally not "general population."" "Oh, my gosh, Taryn." "This is so amazing." "Right on time." "What did I tell you?" "See?" "You worry too much sometimes." "Incoming." "Go for it." "Now that you're not a pansy anymore." "Hey, Taryn." "You look great." "You sound surprised." "Come on." "You know I've always thought you're pretty." "You just amped it up a notch or something." "Thank you." "Are you going to courtney's party?" "Why?" "Because I'm going." "It would be cool to see you there." "I can't." "I have this thing with elena." "Could you get out of it?" "I wish." "Missed you at lunch." "I ate at the sundial." "Oh." "Hey, what are you up..." "Oh, it's nothing." "It's just a social-networking site." "It's no big deal." "I've got something that is a big deal." "Check this." "Cool." ""Cool"?" "Did you even see it?" "Yeah." "I said it's cool." "What the hell?" "What?" "I just scored you a fake I.D..." "A really good fake I.D." "You don't even care?" "Let me guess." "Nina can get you a better one or something?" "What are you talking about?" "And what does nina have to do with this?" "I don't know." "It just seems like nina has something to do with everything these days." "Well, I'm sorry." "I didn't realize that I wasn't allowed to have other friends." "I didn't say that." "That's not what I..." "Are you high?" "!" "No." "God, what are you, my mom?" "Dude, your eyes are all red." "Yeah, because I was up late, filling out applications." "Happy?" "No, actually, I'm not happy." "And I'm not buying it." "You're not being yourself." "Well, maybe this is myself." "Maybe I found my bliss." "I mean, isn't that what you wanted me to do in the first place?" "This isn't your bliss." "This is her bliss." "God, you're acting so weird." "That is priceless, coming from you." "What's that supposed to mean..." "Coming from me?" "Well, I know you get off on being all, like, anti-establishment and whatever, but that is not the way to make friends." "You know, when you act all like..." "like what?" "Like the blue hair and the whole "I don't conform" thing." "I mean, you're really not doing yourself any favors." "You mean when I'm myself?" "I'm going to go do something alternative, like hang out with people who don't suck." "Hey, hon." "Dinner's almost ready." "Cool." "Oh, speaking of, where would you like to go for your birthday dinner?" "Yeah, yeah, yeah." "Anywhere you want..." "The most expensive place you can imagine." "You know what?" "Bankrupt us." "I don't really want to think about it right now." "Well, we know you have plans with elena that night, so we'll just take you out the next night." "Um, I'm not sure if I have plans anymore, so..." "Oh, really?" "Why not?" "Nothing." "It's just..." "I don't know." "What is that?" "It's nothing." "Is that a hickey?" "Mom, do you have to be so nosey?" "!" "Honey, just give her a second." "What?" "I am her mother." "I have a right to..." "To what?" "!" "To invade my privacy all the time?" "!" "No, you don't!" "Okay, you don't get to talk to me like that." "So now you're gonna tell me how to talk, too?" "!" "Taryn." "That's it." "Keys." "What?" "!" "Now!" "But I didn't do anything!" "Now!" "Fine!" "God!" "Car is a privilege, not a right." "Damn it." "You need to calm down, honey." "I mean, Taryn's a responsible kid." "She's gonna start dating at some point." "Maybe it's now." "Maybe it's in college." "It's not about that." "It's about her thinking it's okay to talk to me like that." "Yeah, it's called hormones." "It's more than that." "She has a whole different attitude." "It doesn't mean anything." "All teenagers act like that." "My daughter doesn't." "Well, clearly she does." "She's not perfect." "I know that." "Do you?" "Because you don't always act like you do." "When did you get to be such an expert on kids?" "I think I know enough." "She's my daughter, will, and I know that something is going on with her." "I'm gonna go search her car." "Hey." "Afterglow is good, huh?" "Totally." "What a rush." "Gets your mind off school for a little while, huh?" "But I'm still worried that courtney's gonna narc us out." "Oh, stop ruining the moment." "I am telling you, we're covered." "Oh, hey!" "I just sent you a cool link." "Open it up on a bigger screen." "Okay, hold on." "I'll just put you on speaker." "Do you got it?" ""You have been invited to play the game."" "Yeah." "So, what am I looking at?" "See the green dot?" "That's you in your neighborhood." "Click on it." "So, all the other dots are...?" "People playing nearby." "See anyone you know?" "Bryce from school." "No way." "Is he playing right now?" "Naughty boy." "No, check out summit street." "There you are." "Cool, right?" "Yeah, totally cool." "Okay, I'm out." "See you later." "Okay." "I'll talk to you later." "What's going on?" "Taryn, we need to talk." "We know what's happening." "What do you mean?" "You..." "Turned 18." "Happy birthday!" "Thanks, guys." "What happened in here?" "Uh, never mind, never mind." "Happy birthday, Taryn." "Happy birthday, honey." "I'm going to the bathroom." "Oh, here." "Hey, hey." "What the hell are you doing?" "I-I acted calm, didn't I?" "Heidi, what are you looking for?" "I don't know." "If I knew what I was looking for, I'd know where to look." "You look in there." "Heidi, stop it." "You're not gonna find anything." "She's acting like a teenager." "Between high school and her hormones, it's a wonder she's still on her feet." "Give her a break." "We're talking about a kid who's never even been in detention." "Stop it." "Put it down right now." "Put it down." "I just..." "Look at this room." "We're talking about a girl who's been a neat freak her whole life." "And... and... and look at this." "Do you see what I mean?" "And now..." "Please, just stop it." "Please." "I just have a feeling something is off." "Okay." "Why weren't you in homeroom?" "I had better things to do, I guess." "Right." "Looking up youth hostels in liechtenstein or whatever." "Taryn, we need to talk." "I'll pick you up at 8:00." "Wait." "What?" "You still want to go?" "I'm not so alternative that I abandon my friends on their birthday." "Where were you?" "I was feeling sick." "Um, but I wanted to drop this off." "I know it's a few days late." "Why are you doing this?" "Taryn, consider this your opportunity to have a conversation with me before I have to get your parents involved." "Okay." "So talk." "What's going on?" "I'm not sure." "Look, I know your class load is heavy, but you've always been able to handle it before." "Now, what is this about?" "You failed my test last week, and now I'm getting grades from your other teachers..." "Low c's, high d's?" "Taryn, this isn't you." "I know." "I'm sorry." "I just..." "I've got a lot going on." "Well, you need to pull it together, 'cause you know there's not gonna be any track team with this gpa, right?" "Okay." "You've always been a good student, Taryn." "Don't let it slide now, when you're so close to the end." "Yes, ma'am." "Okay." "No freaking way." "My mother knows my locker combination?" "Can you stop?" "!" "Do you have the ability to just stop?" "What are you talking about?" "Everything." "I'm talking about all of it!" "Can you stop trying to live for me and stay out of my life?" "!" "You need to settle down." "Well, you need to stop invading my privacy and leave my stuff alone!" "Well I let things go as long as I could, but there's only so long you can act this oddly without, you know, expecting something to change." "I went through your bedroom because you..." "What?" "!" "You went through my room?" "Yeah." "Your bedroom is in my house." "But it's my bedroom." "Under my roof, my rules." "Oh, my god!" "You need to butt out and get a life!" "Seriously, I can't go a single day without you trying to get in the way somehow." "What, would you rather have a mother who's not around at all?" "Yes." "That would be amazing." "You know, I've actually changed, mom." "My life is getting better." "Well, you don't seem all that happy to me." "Are you angry with me because I've been trying to help you?" "I'm upset with you because you're always trying to live for me." "I-I'm just trying to help you." "Can you please just find a hobby or an activity or anything?" "Just come up with anything, seriously." "Come up with anything that doesn't involve me." "You need to get a life so that you'll stop trying to live mine for me." "And don't wait up." "Taryn..." "Elena's taking me out for my birthday, which you've pretty much ruined." "Don't tell me." "You changed your mind?" "No, but I need you to pick me up from somewhere else." "Not at your house?" "No." "Definitely not at my house." "Let me guess... nina's?" "Is that a problem?" "Yeah." "I'm not picking you up at nina's." "She has a car." "She can drive you." "Fine." "Whatever." "I'll see you there." "Fine." "Thanks for picking me up." "Not a problem." "Sorry about your mom..." "And elena." "Yeah, well, this is pretty much turning into, like, the worst birthday ever." "Hey." "You're in control now." "If you don't like the way things are going, you can change it." "True, but I just don't know where to start." "Yes, you do." "We'll, uh, have a little private party before we go to courtney's." "I'm not going to courtney's party, remember?" "I'm meeting elena at wilson's chapel." "No worries!" "I'll get you there on time, I promise." "Come on." "We'll just go there for a little while, make an appearance." "Courtney is, like, the last person I want to see right now." "Well, we're not going for courtney." "Come on." "You're gonna look so hot, ryder won't know what hit him." "In this?" "I don't think so." "I've got the perfect outfit, and it's yours." "Consider it my birthday present." "Thanks." "Come on." "We'd better get started." "Holy hell." "You almost went three minutes." "Yeah, well, my teacher kind of kicks ass!" "Just wait." "You'll end up like one of those legendary breath girls." "Yeah, screw everything." "Screw my grades." "Screw my mom." "Screw it all." "Especially screw your grades." "You are so far ahead of the finish line, you can afford to relax a little." "And how about this for a birthday?" "This is not g.P." "You are not g.P. Anymore, not looking like that." "Thanks to your wardrobe." "That's not it." "You belong here." "And you know what I think?" "I think tonight's the night." "The night?" "The night for you and ryder." "I don't know." "All right." "Come on." "Wait." "Where are we going?" "Just to find an empty room, have a little shot of fun..." "Just a little confidence booster." "Okay, but I'm going first." "Absolutely." "Love the outfit." "Too bad it's so last season." "Keep drinking!" "Chug!" "Chug!" "Chug!" "Chug!" "You'll follow your mom to rehab." "G.P. Alert." "Get him out." "Come on." "Let's do this." "You do this." "Right, 'cause you'd hate it if we did it together?" "Hey." "Taryn, I thought you had something to do tonight." "I do have something to do." "Follow me." "O-kay." "Where are we going?" "Come on." "It's, uh..." "Let's go over here." "Whoa." "Okay, this is a little... whoa." "What are you doing?" "Shut up." "Okay." "Whoa." "Are you drunk?" "No." "Come on!" "What are you doing?" "Stop." "Don't you want this?" "Taryn, I'm serious." "Stop." "What's wrong with you?" "Come on." "Ryder." "Stop." "I thought you wanted this." "Who are you?" "Don't worry." "By tomorrow, he'll be kicking himself for not taking you up on your offer." "Ahh." "Yeah, but he looked so..." "Hey, courtney." "Great party." "Better than the ones at your old school?" "Almost the same..." "Music, a keg, dancing, by midnight somebody yakking on the carpet." "Well, at least this one's free of general pop." "Really, courtney?" "Still with your general-population crap?" "What are you..." "So what if you caught us under the bleachers?" "You know, what we were doing was not generation population, and that is something that you, with your bitchiness and your queen bee, you would not even have the balls to..." "Okay." "Hold on." "Taryn, chill." "I-I wasn't talking about you." "The bleachers..." "I'm cool with it." "Sometimes I do it with nick." "You do?" "Yeah." "It's not like you invented choking." "I just didn't know you were into it." "I didn't actually bust you, did I?" "Are you kidding me?" "!" "I thought when nina tagged you in her "check in,"" "she was just messing around." "But, no, you actually blew me off for this stupid-ass party." "Okay, freak." "So not worth it." "Taryn's a big girl." "She can handle it." "Come on." "Let's go do our thing." "I'll spot you." "Thanks." "Last time I flew," "I fell, almost cracked my head open." "Tell me about it." "Elena, I'm so sorry." "I was just coming here first, and..." "Who are you?" "My Taryn doesn't come to stupid parties with stupid people and blow me off." "I don't know why I'm even trying to stay friends with you." "God." "Why did I think it was a good idea for us to be roommates?" "We are not gonna be roommates." "I know." "You're screwing around europe." "No." "It's not just that, okay?" "I blew my s.A.T.S." "I did not just whiff them." "I blew them." "And I'm not filling out an application for university of michigan, because even if I get in, I don't even want to go there!" "'Cause I don't know what I want to do or where I want to go." "It might not even be college." "But it's gonna be my own choice, and I'm gonna live my own life no matter what!" "Great party, courtney!" "Thanks, courtney!" "See you monday!" "Taryn, hey." "What gives?" "First, you jump me, and then you avoid me, and now you're trying to sneak out of courtney's house?" "Just leave me alone, okay?" "I don't understand." "You used to be funny, and you used to be normal." "You never used to look like this." "I've changed." "Yeah." "For the worse." "Where's the girl I liked, the one I gave that cupcake to?" "You gave me that cupcake?" "Who else would it be?" "Why do you think rayna and I even broke up?" "What do you mean?" "Because all I ever did was talk about you." "You did?" "It doesn't matter now, Taryn, because you're not that girl anymore." "Get in." "Hey, I've been looking all over for you." "You could have told me you were leaving." "I don't need to run everything by you." "Hey, what's with the attitude?" "Is this about elena?" "You need to get over her already." "It's not just elena, okay?" "Your thing with ryder?" "Whatever." "So he's the kind of guy who can't handle a strong chick." "You don't want a guy like that." "He's exactly the guy I want, and that's why I did all of this in the first place." "Fine." "Then we'll go play the game, and we'll figure out how to get him." "We just did that." "So, what, you're just gonna give up?" "I don't know." "I just..." "In case you forgot, you used to live in loserville with your pretty bedroom and your perfect mom and your zero social life." "People used to call you "general population."" "Now you get to go to actual parties, like a real person." "Wait, Taryn." "Look, some people just can't roll with change, okay?" "You should be thanking me for showing you a way to escape." "Thanking you?" "I don't even want to be around you right now." "I know, I know, but she's never just not come home before." "You drove by the school, right?" "What about the track at the gym?" "Maybe she went for a run." "No." "No, no." "Elena's not answering her phone." "No one's answering their phone." "Hold on." "Are you okay?" "Yeah." "She's here." "Please come home." "I'll just assume that I'm grounded or whatever." "Where have you been?" "I've been worried sick." "I was at a party." "With elena?" "She was there, yeah." "Really?" "Because elena called here last night three times looking for you." "Well, she was there eventually, okay?" "No, it's not okay." "None of this is okay." "And, yes, you are definitely grounded, and there are going to be a lot of changes around here." "I don't care if you're 18." "Fantastic." "More change." "Taryn, talk to me." "I'm fine." "No, you are not." "Yeah, well, it's senior year." "I mean everything's supposed to be angsty and different." "I know." "But you seem different." "Look at me." "I'm listening." "Talk to me, please." "You can tell me." "It'll be okay." "Whatever it is, it'll be okay." "Everyone's mad at me, and they're right." "And then I try to change things, and nothing's working." "Well, you're... you're 18." "You're barely 18." "You're not supposed to have everything all figured out." "But you make it seem like I have to." "Will you come sit down with me?" "Taryn, please, come and sit down." "After your dad died," "I hated that you had to come home alone after school every day." "I-I-I just couldn't stand that you were so young and you knew how to use a key and the microwave and the washing machine." "And when will and I got married and he offered to let me take a break from working, all that guilt went away, and I was able to focus on you." "I guess I did that a little too much, huh?" "Well, I'm sorry that I told you." "That you needed to get a life." "I get it." "You need your own life, right?" "Taryn, things change." "And since they do, they can change again." "I'm just glad she's okay." "And I'm glad we finally talked, got things out in the open." "How you doing?" "Not too good." "I messed up." "Yep." "No, I mean, I also had a fight with nina, and I just want to make..." "I just want to make things better." "I really think that it's time that I started to try to make things right." "So, what do you want to do about it?" "Why don't you give her a call?" "I tried, but she didn't answer." "I don't think that she wants to talk to me right now." "Well, that's your decision." "What?" "Really?" "45 minutes." "Thank you." "Well, she looks rough." "Guess that's not surprising." "How are you?" "Just so you know..." "I'm scared." "You're never scared." "I'm always scared." "I'm just..." "Better than you at faking it." "That's why I wanted you to come to michigan with me." "I'm scared to be by myself." "I'm scared to start over." "All I want to do is start over." "I'm sorry." "You're gonna be fine, you know?" "Wherever you end up going." "Will we be fine?" "Eventually." "Hey, Taryn..." "You know when I told you that you should follow your bliss?" "I didn't mean..." "I know." "You should keep looking for it." "Watch it." "We're back to that?" "Nice." "Seriously?" "After what happened to nina?" "Nina was stupid." "She thought she was in control, but she wasn't." "And you are?" "I'm not nina, okay?" "I'm smart." "Nina was smart, too, you know?" "Yeah, well, not everyone who chokes ends up like nina." "Bye, Taryn." "Courtney..." "I'm around." "Just so you know..." "I'm around." "Thanks for coming." "I just figured that if I drove that I would keep going and I wouldn't stop." "You're doing the right thing." "What the hell are you doing here?" "Maria, you must be so upset." "You have no idea how I feel." "Please..." "What is wrong with you?" "Wait a minute." "I thought you were nina's friend." "Nina was doing this a long time before she met Taryn." "She's the one that got my daughter into it." "But this..." "This is no time for blame." "It's my fault." "It's not." "I shouldn't have moved her during senior year." "I should have paid more attention." "I did nothing but pay attention." "It didn't make a difference." "I just..." "I can't believe nina was doing this... thing, this awful thing, all the time." "And I never knew." "How could you know?" "Even when I knew something was going on with Taryn," "I-I-I would have never guessed this." "I didn't even know this existed." "Did you?" "No." "Taryn really wanted to be here." "You know, you're the only ones who've come." "I'm so sorry." "I'm so sorry." "Hey, nina." "I'm sorry." "I know I haven't come to see you in like two weeks." "I wanted to come... visit you at the hospital, but I figured that you didn't want to see me, so I just waited till you came here." "I hope that's okay." "You look good." "I like the top." "It's..." "Nina, are you okay?" "Are you okay?" "Nina?" "Nina, you were right." "You came to the school, and..." "You saw me in a different way." "Everybody else just saw the same, old Taryn." "And you were right for that." "And I just..." "I wanted things to be different." "I wanted to feel in control." "But you were wrong, too." "You were wrong about what to do..." "And how to handle it." "And I was wrong for going along with it." "It's not fair." "It's not fair." "I'll see you later." "Nina, I'm here." "I'm here." "There you are." "I'm here." "I'm listening." "I'm listening." "Talk to me." "Talk to me." "I'm listening." "Talk." "You beat me here." "Hey." "Yeah." "I already ordered, so..." "Thanks for coming." "How's nina?" "Um..." "Not good." "When she choked, she hit her head, and... it's not good at least she didn't die." "Yeah, well, this is worse." "I'm sorry." "For which part?" "For all of it." "Mostly for the party." "I screwed up." "And..." "I mean, I was so stupid for jumping you like that." "To be fair, a lot of guys probably wouldn't complain." "Yeah, well, I still screwed up." "Can we start over?" "From where?" "How far back?" "Elementary school?" "I mean, isn't that where we were friends and it was easy?" "I don't think that we can rewind that far." "Here you go, hon." "Enjoy." "Maybe we can go back to the part where you liked me and I liked you, before everything got crazy and screwed up." "Is that doable?" "Yes." "And maybe we can try that thing again." "What thing?" "I think I found my bliss." "What?" "I'll tell you later." "Hey!" "That was mine!" "Oh, my god!" "I'm sorry." "Yeah, you are."