"ATLIKARINCA" "In the name of Allah..." "May Allah accept your sacrifice." "Thanks." "Could you please get me a tray'?" "Yes, of course." "Sevil, I need a large tray." "I'm telling you once again." "That meat is not coming into this house." "Okay Erdem, okay." "Don'!" "carry the meat, your am will hurl again." "Okay." "Daddy, daddy, look!" "What have you done Mehmet?" "We're trying to keep them away from seeing the blood and you're smearing the filthy blood all over them!" "It's not filthy." "It's blessed." "And it's part of the custom" " It chases the evil eye away." " For heaven's sake..." "Sevil!" "Sevil!" " Something wrong?" " Take the children to the bathroom." "Why, what's wrong?" "Don't you see?" "He smeared that filthy blood all over them." "They can wash their faces." "No." "They have to take a bath." "Edip, come on!" "You give them a bath then, my hands are full." "Daddy, I'm cold." "Okay. okay" "Dinner is ready, come on." "Edip!" "Edip!" "Edip!" "Dinner is sewed." "Edip!" "Come on, I'll take you to fishing." "Come on." " Gel off the horse." " Let me rock a little." "No, that's my toy." "You're a big boy, let her play with it a little" "Get off!" "Daddy, can we go to the funfair tomorrow?" "We'll see." "Please daddy, please." "Okay, all right." "Take this dear." "I'll get that." "Drink your milk." "Well done." "Have a happy holiday." "Have a happy holiday." "Sevil!" "Sevil!" "Welcome." "Well, have a nice holiday." "You shouldn't have." "Thank you very much." " Not at all." "Enjoy it." " Thank you." "Have a nice holiday." "Have a nice holiday." "Have a nice holiday." "You too, pretty little girl." "Tell the kids to drop by." "All right Ma'am, I will." " Have a nice holiday." " Okay, have a nice day." "What are you doing?" "Why are you chucking it out?" "Who knows how or where they baked it." "I can'!" "eat this, and I won't lei the children eat it." "I'll eat it." "You don'!" "have to." "They've gone through the trouble to make it." "Did you read the ones I wrote recently?" "Yes, I did, they are very good." "Come on, let's go, let's go." "Go where?" "We were going to go to the funfair." "I'm busy now." "I have to work." "But you promised." "We can'!" "go now, I have to work." "Tell him Edip, didn't he promise us?" "Erdem, you really promised, let's just go." "Okay. okay" "Come on children, go and get dressed." "We're going to the fair." "Edip!" "Mister, shall I take a picture?" "No brother, no need." "To remember this beautiful day by..." " No brother, no need." " For God's sake!" "Look, you see the girl and the boy on the merry-go-round?" "The boy in the blue I-shin and the girl wearing a hat take a picture of them." "Sevgi!" "Edip!" "Look here!" "Look here children!" "Let me take the whole family." "Stand together." "For a keepsake Mister, from this holiday." "Okay, ready'?" "What's wrong?" "I can't get a line." "We'll call again tomorrow morning." "I'll try one more time." "She doesn't answer." "She's probably visiting a neighbor or something." "They may be driving around Istanbul." "Let's go on a holiday there." "I missed it a lot." "What's so good about Istanbul Erdem?" "I'm very happy here." "I'll pick you up tonight." "I might be late, don't wait for me." "OK, as you wish." "I sent some of my poetry." "I'd be happy if you read it and let me know what you think." "We just couldn't come." "Actually I've been waiting to hear from some publishers." "Come in." "I hope so." "Easier said than done." "It's been seven years since I came here." "I am thinking of leaving everything behind and moving back to Istanbul." "I'm tired of this place, everything is the same." "You said so... yet, we are swimming against the tide" "okay." "Okay see you." " Two times four." " Eight." " Eight." "This one?" " Twelve." " Twelve." "We have..." "One." "Two times one?" "I'm home." "I'm exhausted today." "My dear." "Did you have a nice meal?" " I finished it all up." "Good for you." "Mommy, look." "Mama Fatma made these for me." "Stop calling that woman Mama." "They're beautiful honey." "Sevil, will you come inside for a moment?" "Son, finish those additions." "What's wrong?" "Your mothers neighbor called tonight." "WW?" "What happened?" " They're at the hospital." " What's wrong?" "Sit down over here Sevil." "Erdem?" "Your mothers had a stroke." "See you later." "I'll call you when I get there." " Are you hungry guys?" " I am." "Me too." "Take it." "Would you like one Erdem?" "I'm not hungry yet." "We can share one if you wish." "Okay." " Take it." " Thanks." "I feel depressed Erdem." "I just don'!" "know what's going to happen." "Don'!" "worry about a thing." "Everything's going to be fine." "We'll gel over this all together." "We can move to our own apartment when we have enough money." "Edip!" "Go to sleep, look everyone's asleep." "Edip." "Edip stop!" "What's wrong Erdem?" "Did we hit something?" "Hon should I know?" "It's so dark outside." " Are you all right?" " Yes, we are." "Son?" "You two, get back in the car." "Let's pull it to the side of the road Erdem." "No." "I'm not touching that." "It's already dead Sevil." "Get back in the car." "I'm not going to leave this animal like this." "Hello." "Hello, Edip my son." " Mummy, how are you?" "Good." "You'll be here during the holiday anyway, aren't you?" "Okay." "Sevgi is fine, studying." "Nothing new about your grandmother, she's the same." "Is there anything you want?" "Sevil!" "Okay." "Edip, OK my son, your father is calling." "We'll talk later." "Take care." "Good night." "You're like a child Erdem." "Couldn't you wash your back with the other arm?" "I can't reach my back, my arm is aching." " Come over here." " Sevgi's at home, stop it." "Don't take your clothes off." "She's going to hear us." "The bathroom door does not close properly." "Will you take a look at it?" "I'll keep it in mind." "My daughter." " Are you leaving?" " Yes and I have training tonight." "Okay." "Isn't there anyone else to do these things?" "What time did you say you were coming?" "I'm here, I'm here." "Well." "OK, see you, thanks thanks." "I'm going to bed." "Good night." "Good night." "OK, Captain Adnan." "I'll be there in an hour." "Okay." " I'll get it Okay dear." "The bucket is empty." "You couldn't even catch one?" "No." "We thought this would be the case and prepared something else." "Curiosity." "There are two types of curiosity." "First, scientific curiosity second, gossip." "Scientific curiosity is the aim to know about something or to know how it works however..." "Please tell Mr. Tufan again that I am waiting for him." "Sure." "You did tell him it was Erdem Yalcin, didn't you?" "I did Mr. Erdem." "Thank you." "See you soon..." "Mister Tufan." " Hello Mr. Erdem, how are you?" " Fine." "I have an important meeting." "ls everything all right?" "Yes, yes but I went to a few of bookstores the other day." "They said they had ran out of copies." "Any problems with distribution?" "No, we didn't do a reprint." "We're reprinting in a few months." "You will find the book then, don'!" "worry." "But nobody told me anything." "It must have slipped out of our minds;" "we're really busy." "Hon is the new book?" "When will we read it?" " It is almost finished." " Great, then I'll be seeing you soon." "I really have to go to the meeting." "Okay, thanks a lot for your attention." " Have a nice day." " Have a nice day." "I think you should accept the offer Mrs Sevil." "It'll be great for your career." "We feel very lucky lo work with an assistant manager like you." "Thank you." "I don't know." "It's a big responsibility." "I don't know if it will change your decision or not ...but your salary will increase accordingly." "Salary is not my priority of course." "You don'!" "have to decide right away." "Think about it." "Let's have another round of tea, hm?" " Please." " Thank you." "Welcome." "I didn't expect you so early." "I've finished my work early." "I have guests inside." "These ladies are my colleagues." "My husband Erdem." " Erdem Yalcin." " Pleased to meet you." "Hello, how do you do?" " I'm very well, and you?" " Thank you." "Please, have a seat." " Would you like tea?" "OK." " How are you Ma'am?" " Thanks." " You are very welcome." " Thanks." "Why were those women here Sevil?" "They want me to be the assistant manager at the firm." "And you accepted immediately." "I mean you work enough." "I didn't accept anything yet, Erdem." "OK Sevil, whatever you want but don'!" "say 'I work too hard, I'm tired"" " OK Erdem OK." " I am telling you now..." "Ahmet Hamdi Tanpinar's famous work Huzur got great attention in Istanbul Municipality Theaters." "It is performed in Harbiye for the last time." " When does it start Daddy'?" " I don't know." " After this, I guess." " We should have called Edip and told him." "I have." "Now, let us introduce you the books... have chosen for you." "Erdem Yalcin's book The Secret is a book that should be in your library but but we can'!" "say the book re?" "ects the writers maturity period." "His two poems named 'Whisper' and "Wall' have different styles from the rest of his poems in the book..." "Maturity period?" "What do you know about poetry?" "Asshole!" "I'm going out for a walk." "Erdem, it's very late." "Did you ask where we will buy the swimsuit from?" "Yes the teacher told me." " We can go and buy it after school." "OK." " Welcome." " Hello." " Let's get some rice pudding for grandma." " Okay." "Two rice puddings and two white puddings please." "Could you add some cinnamon?" " Why is dad so tense these days?" " I think his book is not selling very well." "Don't you worry about him." " Here you go." " Thank you." "How is it mum?" "Do you like it?" "Baked rice pudding is not bad at all." "Grandma, did you know that Mrs. Sevil became the assistant manager at the firm?" "Sevgi." "I don't know if I did the right thing or not but they insisted too much." "It will be tiring I'll have to work harder ...but I will get a raise." "Darling, read your grandma her book." "I will go finish my chores." ""He dreamt he was back in his childhood." "He was about seven... ..walking in the countryside with his father on the evening of a holiday." "It was a Grey and heavy day." "The country was exactly as he remembered it." "Indeed he recalled it far more vividly in his dream than he had done in memory." "The town stood on a level ?" "at as bare as the hand." "Not even a willow near it." "Only in the far distance, a corpse lay, a dark blur very edge of the horizon."" "We live on meaning." "When life loses its meaning... will get lost, thus it is important in what kind of a meaning system children and families grow up." "They keep coming up with new trends." "What is this?" "Excuse for holidays." "What do you mean?" "This is work." "I have to get to know the people I am working with." "Stupid things..." "It's not stupid." "These are the requirements oi this job." "I have to be there as an assistant manager." "I'm not going on a holiday." "I told you Sevil." "See?" "What is this good for'?" "Oh yes my dear, you are correct." " Shall we make some tea mum?" " OK, honey." "My dear mum." "There are dolmas in the fridge." " You make a salad OK?" " OK mum." "There are meatballs in the freezer." " You can cook rice." "Okay mum." " I can cook a few things myself." " My beautiful girl." "Grandma I'm going to prepare your dinner first then I will prepare something for us." "Mum already put something in the fridge." "I talked to Edip today, Grandma." "He sent his kisses for you." "He's definitely going to be here for the holiday." "I got the best rank in swimming yesterday." "The coach says I'm quite good but I still have to work hard." " When is your mum coming back?" " Tomorrow night." " Did you talk to your brother this morning?" " Yes, he'll come for holiday." "I can'!" "believe ii, he's taking the university exam this year." "Yes." " What does he want to study?" " Don't know, he hasn't made a decision yet." "Can you bring me a glass of water'?" "Of course." "Sevgi!" "Sevgi!" "OK Captain Adnan." "I'll be there in an hour." "It's on the table." "My dear!" "I missed you so much." "Did you go to school on Sunday?" "I've mixed up the days." "Did you two have a fight or something?" "No, of course not, Sevil." "She gets too tired; that's the reason I think." " I'll talk to her." " Leave her alone." "It is normal at her age." "Maybe something happened at school... ..or she got into a fight with her friends." "I'll talk to her later." "Don't worry I'll pay her more attention." "OK?" "Okay." "Come on." "Didn't you open your gift?" "Open it, let's see if you like it." " Don'!" "you like it?" " Thanks." "Your dad bought it for you." "You should go and thank him first." "This was the one you wanted, right?" "I did get the right one, didn't I?" "Shall we set it up?" "Okay." "What are you doing?" "This egg is about to fall." " Don't touch it" " Why'?" "If the mum feels that the eggs have been touched she'll leave them and never come back." " It will die if it falls down" " Don't touch it anyway." "Come on." "The training was good today." "Yes, we don'!" "need to go training on the weekend." " When are you seeing him again?" " Tomorrow after school." "Are you going to his house again?" " No." " Why'?" "I don'!" "want to." "She is growing up I think." "She is very angry, repressed." "I went to her school the other day without telling her." "I thought there might be a problem there." "Her grades are not bad, the teachers are also pleased with her." "So I decided to leave her alone for a while." "Mum?" "We have an appointment at the doctors tomorrow." "We can go after breakfast walk around if the weather is good." "Tomorrow the weather is good." "Let's go fishing together." "It will be good for you." "I can't, I'm going to take my mum to the doctor." "So I'll go with Sevgi then." "I'll be bored and I have to study anyway." "Why would you get bored?" "It will be a nice trip on the sea" "You can study when we get back." "It will be a change for you." "She fell asleep." "Sevgi..." "We can not solve anything without talking." "Sevgi, can you give me a glass of water?" "What are you doing?" "I'm sorry I was lost in my thought." "Hello." "Captain Adnan I'll be there in an hour." "You get the boat ready." "All fight, thanks." "Hello, Captain Adnan." "Hi Mr Erdem." "You have your daughter with you." "We'll go together from now on." "Aren't we Sevgi?" "Here you are." "Thanks." "Come on Sevgi." " Have a nice day." " Thanks." "They're so fresh and very crispy." "Yes, they're delicious." " You've caught a lot of fish." " Yes." "Yes, yes, it must be at least a kilo or two." "So you caught them all by yourself?" "Yes, who else would catch them Sevil?" "It was just a figure of speech." "Maybe she caught a cold." "This is a good draft." "I think it is going to be your best book yet." "Have you thought of a name for it?" " Hmm, no." " Merry-go-round" "I think it is the best poem in the book anyway." "I am not thinking of putting that one in the book." " What do you mean?" " It's just a draft not a..." "I based everything on that poem." "You can'!" "leave it out." "I have to go back to work tonight." "There are inspections next week" "You are going to work at this hour'?" "Please Erdem, I am tired enough as it is." "I didn't say anything." "I could come and pick you up." "No need, I can get a ride with friends, they live over here." "Well, as you wish." "Mum, can I stay at Zeynep's place?" "You can drop me off while going to work." "It's a weekday Sevgi." "Anyway you have to take care of your grandmother." "Mum you said you were going to be late." "What happened?" "We finished things early." "Where is your dad?" "I don't know." "I was in my room." "He probably went to the market" "Really?" "At this time of the night?" "You can go back to bed if you wish." "I'll take a shower." "Where have you been in this pouring rain Erdem?" "I was bored, I went out for a walk." "Hold ii." "Take your shoes off there." "Don't bring the mud inside." "Stop it!" "Erdem, stop it!" "Are you hungry?" "'" "Shall I read to you?" "There was a coffin wrapped in white cloths." "The coffin was surrounded by wreaths on all sides." "Inside the coffin there was a little girl in white tulle clothes laying amongst ?" "owers." "It was as if she was made out of stone." "Her messy, blond hair was wet." "There was a tiara made out of ?" "owers on her head." "Her serious facial lines that were starling to harden were as if they were chipped from stone." "There was endless sorrow... and despair, in the not-so-innocent smile ...left frozen on her pale lips." "He knew this girl." "There wasn't a single definition, a candle around the coffin." "Nature did not hear." "This girl had killed herself, drowning." "She was just fourteen." "But her soul had been smashed into pieces" "A heart that ruined itself ...a heart that had suffered an affront." "This clean soul had been filled with a shame it never deserved the cry was lost in a dark wet night, unheard by anyone came to himself..." "got up from the bed and went to the window." "He felt for the latch and opened it." "The wind lashed furiously into the little room..."" "Each time, the girl was looking at him with begging eyes, but the man's hands never stopped." "The girl was trying to getaway but all her efforts were in vain." "She was not able to understand, what she had done to deserve this." "It was her fathers face, but it couldn't be her father doing these things to her." "I was crying 'Stop, please don't, I'm begging you."" "I said 'Mum will kill me if she comes' but he didn't listen." "He said we would love each other more." "I was scared." "I told him he was hurling me but it didn't stop him." "I hate him now." "I don'!" "want to fall asleep at night." "I don'!" "want to eat any more." "I just wish I didn't grow up." "I'm so embarrassed." "I can't look at my mothers eyes." "I feel like everyone knows what's going on But it's not my fault." "I swear I didn't do anything wrong." "I want to go away." "I want to go away." "What should I do?" "I wish somebody would tell me what to do." "What should I do?" "Should I go?" "Should I getaway?" "Say something, please." "Drive carefully." "Yes, yes the funeral is tomorrow." "I am fine, don't worry" "I'm not alone anyway." "Okay honey, see you later." " Welcome." " Thank you." "My condolences to you." "Thank you dear, come inside." " My condolences." " Thank you." " My condolences." " Thank you." "Would you like have the Koran recited tonight or tomorrow after the funeral?" "We can do it both tonight and tomorrow if you wish." " No, I don't want either." " All fight, we'll do it tomorrow then." " No, I don't think that's necessary." " What do you mean?" "It would be a sin." "I don't care." "Something's wrong with the bathroom door." "You close it, but it opens again." " I can try to fix it." " No, not now." "Nevermind." "Okay." "Oh..." "Sevgi, your mother was looking for you." " She's in your bedroom." " All right, I'll go right away." "What is it mum?" "What is wrong?" " Why don'!" "you lie down for a while." " No, I'm fine." "Then I'll go and help Edip." "I don't want to leave him alone" "Sevgi." "I'm sorry" "I'm so sorry" "Mum..." "I..." "I didn't understand..." "I just didn't..." "I didn't know what to do when I found out." "You know hm he never let me touch his desk." "That day he had left it, as if he wanted me to see it." "I found his new book." "So I started to read it." "I didn't understand at first." "Then I read the first poem once again." "At first I couldn't believe it." "I started to remember things as I read on" "I mean, what kind of a mother was I?" "I mean, what kind of a mother was I?" "All right, that's enough mum, please." "Mum why are we taking the coffin back to the Mm?" "I want him to be buried in that one place he hated the most." "Mum, please don'!" "say anything to Edip." "OK, how did the incident happen?" "I don't know how." "He said he was going to the publisher, and fishing after that." "I was at home." "Two policemen came." "They said there was an accident and that he was dead." "I froze by the door." "I called Ay$e" "We went together." "First they tried to pull me together at the hospital." "But I wanted to see him to be sure." "They took me to him." "It was like he was sleeping, that's all." "Captain Adnan, you take care of the boat from now on." "Thank you." "Good day." "This shirt looks really good on you Tayfun" "I'm glad you came along with Edip." "How are is your family?" "We didn't get to talk properly." "They are fine, they send their regards." "Thanks." "This photo is very nice." "When was it taken?" "Before we moved to Istanbul, remember'?" "No..." "It was a holiday... went to the funfair together." "I don't remember." "You had a wooden horse." "You never let me play with it." "I said I don't remember Sevgi." "Leave it." "Should we go out and walk around a bit?" "Walk around?" "It's not a bad idea." "We'll get some fresh air." "I don'!" "want to." "You go." "Don'!" "be late, OK?" "OK.." "Let's go then." "Should we sit here?" "I am going over to get something." "Sure buddy." "What are you doing?" "What?" "I just wanted to try one." "You don'!" "try smoking." "You keep saying you're an athlete." "OK, OK, I was just curious." "Edip..." "Yes." "What is it?" "Nothing." "Let's go home." "Mum must be worried already." "Sevgi..." "What were you going to tell me the day we went for a walk." "Nothing, it isn't important." "Tell me, what happened?" "Did you pack everything up honey'?" "I did mum." "Don't forget anything" " I didn't, don't worry." "Call me when you get to school tomorrow, OK?" "OK, mum." "Don't worry about me." "Take care." "Sevgi!" "Sevgi!" "Sevgi!" "I am home." "Honey?" "What did you do to your hair, honey?" "It didn't fit in my swimming cap." "OK." "Let's go to the hairdresser tomorrow and get it fixed." "Hello." "I am fine darling, I got here just now." "OK sweety." "Make sure the parents aren't bothered." "Okay." "Do you have any money'?" "OK sweety." "Me too." "Hello." "How did it go?" "What did you do?" "We had dinner and watched a movie." "OK darling." "I am taking your grandmother out today." "You are coming fishing with me Sevgi." "There is no other way." "Sevgi come on." "You go ahead, I'm coming right away." "My shroud is purple." "My coffin is a cheap sin tub." "Covered with my Sevgi's dowry blood." "Shame is on the ones' foreheads, who are on my death ceremony." "I am dead's caudle." "Poisonous ceremonial water, passed out on mourning." "Swallowed and gone sour." "Woman's face disintegrates" "Sevgi, deeply ashamed, spits on my carrion." "In my sweaty tomb." "Woman's face is pale." "Hell is the color of Sevgi's hatred." "Her eyes are dead, not crying." "She is not even burdensome." "I kiss her wounds on her forehead." "My moan strokes her body." "Sevgi is shattered." "Shall I take you to funfair'?" "We can ride the merry-go-round" " Yes, daddy." " Come on then." "Oh, it must have been closed by now" "Let's go home and play there, eh?"