"If you open the telephone directory of Mumbai city then you will get 5940369 Rahuls." "But Sonu Nigam, sorry, the the telephone department doesn't know that one more Rahul had come to this city @ years back." "That same Rahul is shifting to his won flat today." " What happened?" "He has come down from 1500 sq ft to the floor and do you know why?" "Because his friend, philosopher an guide, Karan alias Pandey." " Why are you pushing me around?" "Show some respect." "I know that your rent for a few months is due." "Both them had met at the fashion designing institute where both of them had passed with flying colours." "The reason was Karan." "You named your creations naked truth and sent all the models on the ramp wearing only their briefs." "Both of you are rusticated from this college." " Okay." "Madam, please." " Madam is the balance fees refundable?" " Get out!" "You said that we'll go to a new house." "But this is the old flat." "Yes." "Earlier we used to go inside through the front but now we will used the back door." "Even after being a talented designer Rahul couldn't climb the ladder of success." "But as far as climbing was concerned Karan was on top of all." "We have barely left and they have cloaked everything." "I can't believe that we have come to the same old house." "And now we don't have to pay the rent too." "When did we pay it earlier?" "Both of them are very lucky as far as getting a job is concerned." "If the young boys get the job of dressing up young girls then who will bother about the size of the pay?" "Any way their life is not run on cash but not even credit cards." "It runs on credit." "Earlier I had doubt seeing your faces." "But I'm giving it now seeing this chap's face." "Both the suit." "What?" " It is suit." "I also thought something else earlier." "Yes, we'll return your suit." " That's what I said." "Don't ask me where these two are of to wearing the suit." "They are of to an important mission." " Hey, will you drive?" "I'm hungry, buddy." "Today there is no marriage or baptism..." "Nobody is celebrating a death anniversary or birthday." "What shall we do for our food, buddy?" "You always think of only food." "Think what we'll do for our drinks." "You don't talk about drinking." "I need it compulsorily after drinks." "Yes, buddy." "I also need it." " I'm talking about sleep." "I'm also talking about sleeping only." "Their solution is a school party." "Such a school where both of them have never been and such a party where they have not been invited." "That's how it is." " Park it properly." " What?" "Get the air checked also." "Kabab." "That is why I don't take him to Taj and Oberoi." "You keep going." "I'll be back soon." " Okay." "What's for dinner?" " Quite a lot." "Come here every 5 minutes." "What's your name?" " Guddu." "You don't meet me these days." " You also don't meet me." "Hi, how are you?" " Fine, how about you." "Guddu, do you remember that she was like a carom board in the school?" "Now it has become like a mountain." "How did this happen?" " For 2 years she is working in the silicon valley." "Anjali, did you hear that Sanju might be coming tonight." "That too from America." "What?" "Sanju!" "The one who was everyone's heart throb in school?" "I hope you are not pulling a fast one." " No." "It is a long time since I've seen him." "He is in America for the last 12 years." "A boy from America." "Must be an accomplished play boy." "Come here." "When Sanju comes we must take a party from him." " But what for?" "Because our Sylvina has become Miss America." " Oh really." "Then we must ask for a party." "Cheers." "Friend, just one more." "Come on, buddy." "Come on, please don't." "Kabab." "Darling!" " Move." "Excuse me, have you seen my Naina." "Forget Naina." "Did you see that boy?" "You will not change, sir." "At least at this stop doing all these experiments." "Good for nothing." "Have you written down everyone's name?" " Yes." "Check out who that boy is." " Okay." "Hello Prof. Mistry." " Hi." " Did you recognize me?" "Wow!" " Priya Mehta, roll no 69." "That's lovely." "You even remember my roll no." "If it is 69 who can forget it?" "I remember you professor." "I loved chemistry." "Thank you, dear." "Go and enjoy yourself." "Thank you professor, Bye." " Bye." "Hello my boy." "How are you?" " Professor Mistry." "I too haven't forgot your chemistry classes." "When the servant maid uses phenol in the commode... - Commode?" " Yes, I'm reminded of you." "But you." " That unique style of teaching that you had." "Tell it now, tell it now that this is ammonia." "But..." " That was mind blowing, sir." "But this song I've listened recently." " Tell me your name." "One minute sir." "I know all that." "Tell me your name of I'll throw you out." "Sanju, oh my god!" "Is that you?" "Sanju, when did you come from America?" "The name is Sanju." "Who is this Sanju?" " He seems to be an accomplished play boy, buddy." "Playboy!" "But how will his face match with mine?" "Every one is meeting him after 12 years, buddy." "Just cheer up." "Ladies and gentlemen." "Listen Jessica, Pooja and Shilpa." "See who has come." "Sanju from America." "Let me introduce you to others." " Yeah." "But Sanju was a girl." "Come on gals and guys." "Let is spice up the night with our culture." "Everyone get on the floor." "How cool we are, how cool we are." "How cool we are, how cool we are." "There is a lot of stuff in us." "How cool we are, how cool we are." "How cool we are, how cool we are." "There is a lot of stuff in us." "How cool we are, how cool we are." "How cool we are, how cool we are." "How cool we are, how cool we are." "How cool we are, how cool we are." "There is a lot of stuff in us." "The cool air of romance." "It comes from the lane we stay." "Loafer, Romeo and crazy." "Everyone calls us by different names," "The dreamy eyes and the wavering feet." "They all oblige us a lot." "How cool we are, how cool we are." "How cool we are, how cool we are." "There is a lot of stuff in us." "How cool we are, how cool we are." "How cool we are, how cool we are." "There is a lot of stuff in us." "Every girl is after me, what shall I do?" "How cool we I am." "How cool we I am." "They want to meet me in the open." "They want to meet me hiding away from others, what shall I do?" "How cool we I am." "I'm desire of every girl and every girl says that I'm on fire." "This had to happen." "How cool I am." "How is that all the girls in this world fall for you." "How is that you are able to hook girls, teach me too." "Hear buddy that day too will come." "When the stars of your fortune shall also shine." "I have accepted you as my mentor." "You teach me the art of Romance." "I'm lost on the world of love and Romance." "I have no botheration about the miseries of this world." "How cool we are, how cool we are." "How cool we are, how cool we are." "There is a lot of stuff in us." "How cool we are, how cool we are." "How cool we are, how cool we are." "There is a lot of stuff in us." "There is no one like you and me here." "You mean sex change." "How is that possible?" "You and me are the topic of discussion here." "Come into the folds of my arms." "Don't go away annoyed with me like this." "Let my chance also be on." "Let my fortune be also awakened." "Listen to me." "You also become like me." "Come one shirk of your shyness." "How cool we are, how cool we are." "How cool we are, how cool we are." "There is a lot of stuff in us." "How cool we are, how cool we are." "How cool we are, how cool we are." "There is a lot of stuff in us." "How cool we are, how cool we are." "How cool we are, how cool we are." "You again got us into a problem." "Sanju, shit!" "How will I know that Sanju is a girl and not a boy?" "Our life is also a hell." "We eat lunch on credit and pay for the punches that we get." "How many times have I told you not to play blind?" "This much my father also didn't insult me when he threw me out of the house." "Don't remind me of my father, buddy." "When I left Delhi he came to the station to see me off." "He had tears in his eyes when he said that..." " What did he say?" "He said that promise me that you'll never return back home." "See there is a bird there." " In the night?" "It must be a bat." "Not the flying one, buddy." "The one that makes us fly." "See there." " Oh!" "She is not in our level, buddy." "Her father must be a millionaire." "After marriage we reduce the millions." "This had to go bad now." " Mercedes doesn't have its earlier reputation." " Yes, buddy" " Why don't you buy a Ferrari?" "I was going to buy that but there was only one piece in the showroom." "Sachin was adamant in buying that." " You mean Tendulkar." " Yes." "I left that car for the sake of the nation and he is crying for such a small thing." " Yes, buddy." "So sad." "Oh Mercedes." "Mine is also a Mercedes." "Any problem?" "Look at this." "The door is not opening." "Opening things is my specialty." "Come on, give me the kiss." "I mean give me the keys." "Here you are." "Your fingers seem to have magic in them." "All my eleven fingers have magic in them." "Then show me that magic." " No, not here." "Let us go to a place where both of us are all alone." "Sure!" "Then let's go." " Come on." "Let's go." " Where shall I leave the Mercedes?" "Leave it at Krishna cottage." " Okay." "Can I ask you something?" " Yes." "Don't you have any boyfriends?" "I mean..." "Actually I like the height of the Muslim boys and the width of the Gujarati boys." "It is not only difficult to get such a..." "You didn't tell me your name." " Nasiruddin Shah." "So you work in the movies." " No, I'm not that one." "God is great!" "His fortune always takes him forward and my fortune makes me climb from the back." "Sir, the commissioner has called for you." "Sir." "I had called for the Havaldar, why have you come?" "I'm Havaldar sir." "Then why are you wearing the uniform of an inspector?" "Sir I'm an inspector." " You're an Havaldar (constable) and an inspector." "Two positions at the same time." "Sir, my name is Havaldar and I'm an inspector in the force." "I'm inspector Havaldar." " Shut up." "Your case is more complicated than this case." "This is the fifth case in the last 2 months." "Sir, a girl has been raped and murdered in the lift." "What is the police doing in this connection?" "What are you doing?" " I'm shaking it up." " What?" "I mean that I've shaken up the police force." "If the police can't solve this case then we'll take the help of an expert." " Expert!" "What type of an expert?" "A person with the experience of rape and murder." " What?" "I mean a person who has solved such cases before." "What can be the motive behind such murders, sir?" "Time pass." " What, time pass?" "When there is rape the motive is clear." "Sex." "Sex can be bought with money too." "Every one is not as fortunate as you are, madam." "How are you sure that all these murders have been..." "That is because this time also there is a red rose near the dead body and a part from the body is also missing as earlier." "This time which part is missing, sir?" "That is..." "Sorry, I can't tell in front of a family audience watching TV." "In your opinion who could it be who is committing all these murders?" "To look at he will an ordinary man you and me but behind that mask of an innocent man is the face of murderous, inhuman devil." "I'm sorry Mrs. Gaitonde." "I'm in a helpless situation." "I don't know what you are but you are like a cow to me." "Good morning uncle." "Will you tell about this to anybody?" " Have we told till today." "No, thank you." "What's this?" "Stop it." "The day I catch you that doll of yours will be finished." "The suit taken on hire has been damaged." "That stammering fellow Popat of the laundry will kill me." "Sir, someone has unnecessarily instigated you." "There is no ghost in this house." "I need money badly, so I'm selling this house cheap." "The landlord." "I think that we must vanish now." "Come." "This is the flat with 24 hours water and 24 hours electricity." "You'll also get fresh air and a good view for free." "Now you bring your wife and start living here." "Why can't I live with another woman?" " Of course, why not?" "One minute." " Okay." "One minute." "Hello darling, I had come on a work hence couldn't ring you up." "Who are you?" "I don't have a name." " Why?" "Since my rebirth hasn't happened yet." "I'm looking for a body." "Were you looking for me?" " Yes." "I can go anywhere." "Inside your phone too." "Why my phone?" " Isn't incoming free?" " Yes." "Where is he?" " You have to lend me your body." "'Praise the lord." "Lord save me from the miseries.'" "'The lord who shall keep ghosts away from you.'" "The ghost is itself chanting prayers." "Ghost!" "How many misunderstandings do human have?" "How many times have I told you that they don't stay here anymore?" "Go from here." "Why don't you understand what I'm telling you?" "They have given me this address and told me to come here and take the suit from them." " Shut up." "I have given it on hire to them." "I have a laundry." "You are talking obscene you dirty man." "I'll not leave you." "I have supplies suits to a lot of big men." "Get lost." "Ghost!" "What is this happening." "Someone is shouting ghost and someone is shouting for his suit here." "How hard that fatso hit me on my heart." "In the backside there is Popat and in the front it is the land lord." "How do I go out from here?" "This is seventh customer that I brought and he ran away as if he saw a ghost." " Ghost!" "What is wrong?" "Why did you get startled?" "Have you also seen the ghost?" " Yes, sir." " Where?" "On the CD." " On the building stairs?" " No, on a pirated CD." "I'm not talking of that movie." "I'm talking of real ghosts." "Are that chaps Karan and Rahul coming here stealthily?" "What are you saying sir?" "Some one 5 foot and 10 inches tall will go through this place without me noticing." "No one can escape from my eyes." "Hello." "Are you like this from childhood?" "Have a nice day." "Bye." " Bye." "Go carefully." "How unkind god is?" "He will have to remain alone throughout his life." "No, darling." "God makes a pair for everyone." "See he has made you to be paired with me." "That's why I say that god is so unfair." " Come home." "Hey Auto." "Come here." "You can run away from this world." "How long will you run away from your self?" "Please look at my palms and tell me about my fortune." "I don't have to see your hands." "I can see your face and tell." "The Saturn is annoyed with you." "Sunny Deol." "I mean lord Shani." "Give me one thousand rupees." "I'll go out and perform prayers." "I don't have 1000 rupees." " Then 800." " I don't have that too." "500." " No. - 200" " No." "At least you must have 100." " No." "Then how much do you have?" "All put together I have twelve and half rupees." "Then you don't have to fear for anything, son." "Even the Saturn can't do any damage to you." "Go." "Vacate the place." "It seems that he has become emotional." "Listen." "You seem to be a good person." "Come here and listen to me." " Tell me." "A girl will come into your life." "Girl!" " Yes, she won't be an ordinary girl." "She'll have a mole on her chest." " Mole on her chest!" " Yes." "Once that girl comes your fortunes will change." "Fame will fall at your feet." "The world will be behind you and you shall be ahead of the world." "Where will I get such a girl?" " You get the god if you seek for him." "Go and seek." "What are you staring at?" "Shall I give you some thrashing?" "Karan, what happened?" " This?" "That girl with whom I went last night on the Mercedes." " Accident!" "Did it hurt badly?" " No, you have to grow up." "You don't know, some women like it wild." "Wild!" " That too in a 5 star hotel." "Then she gave everything over to me." "He said that he is Nasaruddin Shah and forced me to sit in the car." "I didn't know that the car was stolen." "I promise you that I didn't steal the car." "I have done nothing." "I just opened." " What?" " Door." "Now I'll give you a thrashing, get inside." "Then we went inside her room." "A deluxe suite." "Then she slowly started undressing." "Lucky man." "After that?" " After that she tied my hands." "Sir, don't dare to touch me." "Why not?" "Your fingers have magic, isn't it?" "They don't have now they had it." " Shut up." "Why are you silent?" "Tell me after that." "Then she took out my belt." "Will you open it again?" "Nothing of yours will open after that." "How long did it carry on?" " For the first ten minutes I was conscious and thereafter I don't know." "When I gained consciousness it was all over." "Then how did you come here?" "She dropped me in her Mercedes." "It was one wild night, isn't it?" " Yes, buddy." "The girls like it that way these days." "The night is over and everything is forgotten." "But she will not be like that." "She!" "Who's that?" "The one who'll change my fortune." " Who will change your fortune?" "That girl who will have a mole in her chest." "Yes, buddy." "One astrologer told me today that one girl... ., like that will come into my life and change my fortunes." "You do as I suggest." "You find a girl first." "Then you put a mole on her chest." "Because if you look for a mole then you'II get beaten and also get me beaten." "I have full faith that the girl who'll change my fate will surely come." " Yes." "I don't know about yours but mine has already come." "Hi" " Hi, may I help you?" "Where can I find DK?" " You mean Dk." "You are?" " Kiran." " I'm Karan." " Hi." "DK!" "Let's go." "Let's see." "It Should be possible." "What are you doing here?" "The moment I saw you." "The moment I came to know you." "The little consciousness that I had." "Even that is gone." "Gone." " What?" "If the boss sees us like this then we are finished." "Let's go." "Absolutely not now." "You go and tell Kiran not to bother me." "I need time to think, please." "But DK this is not right." "Whatever you're doing is not right." "So, you'll tell what I'm doing is right or wrong." "I don't need your suggestions, baby." "Thank you." "You'll get us killed doing like this." "Good morning." " Good morning, sir." "Listen, if there is a phone call for me from a person called Kiran..." " Kiran!" " Then tell that I'm not available." " Yes sir." "Say that I was never there." "In fact say anything you want." "You can say that I'm dead." " Dead, sir?" " Yes, I'm dead." "Designs?" " Completed, sir." " So where?" " I'll just bring it." "Just bring it." "What is this beauty spot?" "From a massage." "I mean from social service." " Are you contesting the elections?" "Social service!" " Get lost." "That's good news." "When do I have to leave?" "Tonight!" "Okay send me the tickets." "Remember the name is DK Bose." "Otherwise it will be announced wrong in the airport." "Doesn't sound very nice." "Hello." " Sir, the designs." "I worked through the night to make them." "How do you like them?" " Very nice." "Will my name appear in them this time?" "William Shakespeare has said what's there in a name." "But he wrote his name beneath this sentence." "That's because he was Shakespeare." "There was a weight in his name." "Sir, the designs for the summer collections." "We can look at them later." "Have you both made all arrangements for the party that is to take place today evening?" "Yes, sir." "You leave that to us." "The show in the evening will be MTV style night." "It's an important show." "I don't want it messed up." "I want to export that directly to America." "Do you have proper clothes for the evening?" "I mean suits." "Suits!" "Yes sir." " Don't take it from the stores as you did last time." "Don't think that I didn't notice it." "1000 suits." " Yes, suits." "For whom?" " For big stars like Amitabh Bachan." " Sachin Tendulkar." "Shahrukh Khan." " Sunny Deol." "Salman Khan." " Shiek Mehboob" "Shiek Mehboob!" " Yes, he is also a big star." "That means that the fate of my laundry has changed." "Take this." "Is the order confirmed?" "Confirmed." "Take these phone numbers and collect your orders." "Amitabh." "Listen." "You return it after the order is complete." "Give these back tomorrow." "Bring the old ones too." "But where will we get you tomorrow?" " Why." "You will be with Amitabh." " Lunch with Salman." "Now you've become a big man, Popat." "It is my pleasure to invite all of you to the MTV style night." "Please don't leave as we bring to you the grand finale." "The show will tear your heart and sweep you of your feet." "Performing for the very first time for you at the MTV Style night please welcome the Indian heart throbs all the way from the UK." "Jaishan, Rishi Rich, Juggy and Veronica." "MTV Style night." "He is the one who stole my heart." "He is the one who stole my heart." "He is the one who stole my heart." "He is the one who stole my heart." "He is the one who stole my heart." "What has happened to you?" "Who has stolen your heart?" "It's not your heart anymore." "How will you live now?" "Listen to what I say that you've slowly stolen my heart." "Who has stolen your heart?" "He is the one who stole my heart." "It's my heart." "It's my heart." "It's my heart." "It's my heart." "You are my only girl and you are a wonder." "It's my heart." "You are my only girl and you are a wonder." "He is the one who stole my heart." "It's my heart." "It's my heart." "It's my heart." "It's my heart." "What has happened to you?" "Who has stolen your heart?" "It's not your heart anymore." "How will you live now?" "I've lost it you." " It's my heart." "Please listen to what I've got to say." "It's my heart." "Why did you steal it?" "'" "It's my heart." "It's my heart." "It's my heart." "Please listen to what I've got to say." "It's my heart." "Please listen to what I've got to say." "It's my heart." "What has happened to you?" "Who has stolen your heart?" "It's not your heart anymore." "How will you live now?" "What has happened to you?" "Who has stolen your heart?" "It's not your heart anymore." "How will you live now?" "What has happened to you?" "Who has stolen your heart?" "It's not your heart anymore." "How will you live now?" "That was a fine show, DK." " Thank you sweetie." " Bye" "Stop this nonsense." "I told you that I'm going to America for 1 month." "Yes, sir." " Okay." "What did I just say?" "Pack all these things and send it to the store." "Carefully." " Oh sure, sir." "Where is your partner in crime?" "He is actually." " What is this?" "Massage service." "Just relax." "Did someone tell you that you've magic in your fingers?" "Will you open a car door anymore?" "It is your magnanimity." "Moreover you have a large heart." "Why did you stop?" "Keep massaging me." "The girl with the mole?" "My sister in law." "There?" " Yes, buddy." "Is there a mole in her chest?" " You don't believe me." "No like that, buddy." " Now go and propose to her." "The marriage will be in the night and the honeymoon in DK's flat." "Is that the keys to DK's flat?" "Yes, now we will enjoy one full month there." "It's not nice to go to 5 star hotels using a girl's money." "Now go." " Yes." "But what will I do, buddy?" "It's simple." "Take a rose and smile at the girl." "But a little less." "If in response the girl smiles then wink at her." "Only one eye." "Yes." "If she gets up and walks away then it means she is calling you." "Go and propose to her." "It's working." "She looks a little outdated." "But I've got to do this to update my fortunes." "She is calling you." "She is hooked." "She has called me alone." "Let me go and check up the mole." "Excuse me." " Hey, take away your hands." " Listen to me." "The mole." " Police!" "Help!" "Help!" "Madam, what happened?" "Why were you shouting?" "Tell us what is the matter." "A young man came with a red rose and..." "Look that side." "You please look that side." "He put his hand..." "Have you understood?" " Yes." "I hope it was not that serial killer." "The one who rapes the girls and kills them." "Serial killer!" "I'm a fool." "Whom did I take advice from?" "I escaped by a hairline." "I don't know what that woman must be thinking about me?" "You." " I just wanted to see whether you have it or not." "That's why I..." " Not here." "Go there." "Please go away." "Madam, stop." "Control." "I'm not able to control myself, madam." "Please help me, madam." " Help." "I'm unable to control, madam." "Help me." " Help." "Control me, madam." "Madam!" "Madam, my pants." "Madam, please forgive me." "I'm not able to control." "Madam, help me." "Madam, control." "Yes, we shall do it." "That's what we are here for." "A big nuisance." " What happened?" "Here we are not getting the rapist." "There is this supplier called Popat who is telephoning big shots and tellling them that he will supply girls to them." "Hey, go and enquire." " Yes, sir." "Inspector, I shouldn't have left my husband." "I was rocking." " This is not a Chinese van." "It's a police station." "That's why I have come here to give a complaint." "Complaint?" "Please tell me." "Someone tried to rape me." "Rape you?" " Yes." "Are you sure?" " Of course I'm sure, idiot." "Are you sure that this is the same person." "Yes, sir." "The woman says that he also had a red rose which we find near every corpse." "He also had a machine to cut parts from the body." "I'm sure sir that he is the same killer." "Once we get his description the photo would be released and that person would be behind bars." "Look inspector." "I don't want to take any chance in this case." "Hence as I had said I'm appointing an expert to solve this case." "Expert!" " Yes, Dr. Srewala." "Dr. Srewala is a practicing doctor." "But he is a master in criminal psychology." "I know him from the time he used to teach psychology in Delhi University." "He has major contributions in catching big serial killers." "He has recently returned after assisting Scotland yard." "He will assist us in this case on our personal request." "Let him work on this case in his own style." "Because he has his own theory in solving such cases." "Three, two and one." "Dr. Srewala, have you forgotten something?" "Yes, purse." "Not the purse but you've forgotten to wear your trousers." "Where is the purse?" " Inside your trousers." "So you see logic." "The trousers will also come along with the purse." "You see, what I practice at home, that psychological theory I practice on my patients also." "Don't practice this theory and forget me one day." "How can I forget you?" "Mrs..." "Parvati." " Who is that?" "Joking!" "Mrs. Srewala." "Listen." "Don't take up any dangerous case." "You remember that you narrowly escaped death at the railway yard in Scotland yard and took a vow that you'll never take up any case henceforth." "You had promised that you'll only practise." "I will stick to it." " Promise." " Promise." "Take this." " One sec." "Hello." "Yes." "I'm reaching in another 5 minutes." "Yes, I will." "It's more more small... and scary." "And hair... just like yours." "Straightened up." "The nose was not like this." "Welcome sir." "I'm Inspector Hawaladar." "Actually, sir, I..." " You're Inspector but your name is Hawaldar." "Oh!" "The Commissioner was right." "You're really special, sir." "Are you searching for something?" " Balls." "Balls?" " Yes, found 2 but still looking for the third one." "Three?" "You're extra-special, sir!" "Myself Hiya Hingorani from Honk Kong." "Yes, sir?" "Miss Hingorani... choose ball." " Why, sir?" "This is Dr. Screwwala." "The famous criminal psychologist." "Do as he says." " Oh!" "Right." " Right?" "My doubt has proved right." "She is a victim." "You're really special, sir." "But, how did you come to know with the ball that she's a victim?" "Inspector, Hawaldar..." " Yes?" "Haven't you read my thesis?" "The theory of my three balls?" "Read them." "And you'll understand everything." "Now give me the case details." "The first murder was at Kalyan, then Kandivali then Kanjurmarg, then Kurla, then Kalbadevi then the last attempted murder at Khar... is that right?" "Yes, sir." " What do you think, inspector?" "Every word starts from the letter 'K.'" "This man likes the word 'K.'" "Sir!" "I've got it!" " Oh, really?" "'Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham.'" "'Kuch Kuch Hota Hai.' 'Kal Ho Na Ho.'" "Sir, there's a new suspect in my eyes." "'Kahani Ghar Ghar Ki.' 'Kasauti Zindagi Ki.'" "I've got another suspect in my eyes." "And if we work shoulder to shoulder then we'll certainly succeed, sir." "He's the one!" " Oh!" "The ruffian!" " The ruffian!" " Got him!" "Sir, we've got him!" "This very face has snatched away the peace in my life!" "I won't spare him!" "I'll release his photo in the press!" "You'll not at all do that." " Huh!" "If you arrest him on the statement of a woman then any able lawyer will get him out." "And I really don't want that!" " Then what do you want?" "I want to catch him red handed!" "I want to catch him red handed!" "From today on operation 'Fail' starts." " Operation 'Fail!" "'" "But, why operation 'Fail', sir?" "Inspector, you shall get to know about that after the success of the operation." " Huh!" "Oh!" "Oh, sir!" "On one hand it's the Pandit..." "and on the other it's you!" "Both are special!" "His address... his food... his drink..." "his usual hanging places and the place where he sleeps..." "and with whom does he sleep everything... everything about this guy." " Yes, sir!" "Oh, yeah!" "Oh, yeah!" "Oh, yeah!" "Oh, yeah!" "Do you know just for these films Japan has made such a TV that you can go into it from the backside." "What are you talking about?" "But, where's the way to come out?" "When there's so much fun inside then why would anybody want to come out?" " Yeah." "Actually, they were also trying to stop me inside but I had to come out with a heavy heart." "Just for you." " Thanks." "It seems they are calling you again." " It's the phone." "Hello." " Hi, Love." "Oh, God!" " Please, don't put the phone down." "Please come to me." "Look... nobody should know that we're living in DK's house." "Yes, we don't stay here." "Look, DK, you cannot fool me by changing your voice." "I know that you're at home." "Why are you doing this to me?" "What's my fault?" "Nothing." " Let go!" "Nobody should know... that's why." "Hello... hello!" "O my God!" "Dk... you've not done the right thing by being unfaithful to me." "You've seen the love of Kiran..." "and not her retribution." "By the way... whoever the girl was she seemed to be quite perturbed with DK." "Hey... was it that Kiran?" "!" "The one who was fighting with him at the store?" "!" "Be it Kiran or Raj Kiran don't put ourselves in another mess by meddling into DK's affairs!" "Not again." "I was simply giving her a shoulder, man." " Shoulder?" "!" "If you give her a shoulder then DK's gonna lend a shoulder to you (dead body)!" "And, he won't be alone... there will three men along with him." "And, you... what will you do?" " Me?" "I'll walk ahead with a pot in my hand." "Just stop giving me lectures." "Think about your own love life." "Think about marriage." "That oily old girl of yours..." "she's getting further old." "Don't remind me of that!" " Let me eat." " Here." "Just don't know where the girl might be... who's my destiny!" "Madam... we've brought him." "Catch." "Men!" "They are all use for nothing!" "So, girl... was he the same?" "Tell me, girl." " Yes, sis, he's the one." "When I was passing through the lanes he pinched me on the butt and called me 'Kimi Katkar (Actress)." "Is it?" "You move." "Move." " Madam..." "Madam..." "Madam... the thing is... she's into the habit of sleep walking so I was trying to wake her up by pinching." "Waking up?" " Yeah." "And if I raise my baton... neither you'll be able to wake up nor will you be able to lift anything!" "Rascal?" "!" "Pinching?" "!" "What's happening inside?" " Whatever's happening inside can happen with you as well." " Huh!" "Don't worry, Raghu." "You've just pick-pocketed, isn't it?" " Hmm." "But this inspector Urmila Matondkar is a danger woman she'll forgive you for 100 killings but she won't ever spare you for harassing a girl." "It's the madam's call." "Hello?" "The madam's busy." "What?" "Madam, your call." " Who is it?" "Some Kiran..." " What?" "She's calling herself Kiran." "I refused her but she says it's an pretty urgent." "Madam, the rod had been heated." "You like to pinch in the butt, isn't it?" "It's Sub-inspector Urmila Matondkar... who's that?" "I'm Kiran." "What do you want?" "Inspector Matondkar, I've heard that you go out of the way to help people like me who have been betrayed in love?" " That's 100% right." "Seems you've also been betrayed?" " Sir." "Tell me the name of that scum and I'll take care of him." "DK... his name is name is DK." "We were into an affair since past two years." "But when I spoke about marriage..." "he simply refused." "He isn't picking up the phone even." " Better go to his home." "I had to... but the thing is... my parents are against this marriage." "They have bolted me shut in the house." "And if DK doesn't stands by me..." "then I'll commit suicide." "No, dear... you shouldn't talk like that." "Your DK needs a proper briefing." "Hmm." "Madam..." " Yeah?" "The rod is still in." " Pull it out." " Okay." "And listen... shove two more." "Yes, tell me his number and address." "Hey!" "I've kept the press on Popat's suit!" "Just keep an eye on it!" " Oh, shit!" "I hope it's Kiran." "Hello." " Can I speak to D. K, please?" "He is... but who are you?" " My name is Kareena." "I've heard a lot about him." "But never got a chance to meet him." "Can you please give the phone to him?" " Actually..." "Actually, I'm DK here." " DK!" "?" "Oh, wow!" "I'm a great fan of your designs." " Me too." "Actually, sir..." "I'm supposed to take part in 'Miss Bhandup' contest." "I want you to design my clothes." "Will you do?" "Yes, of course." "In fact I was born to do." "But, what's the need for clothes to win the competition?" " I know." "But it's written on the form that clothes are compulsory." "Yeah, these days they are very strict." "Fine." "I'll come right away to give you my measurement." "In the pretext we shall meet each other." "I cannot wait for that." "Come soon and give it to me..." "I'll be waiting for you." "Okay, then..." " Bye." " Soon." "Am I cool or am I cool?" "So, you've become D. K?" " Yeah." "You know how is it?" "But, who is this DK?" " He's a dog." "He fooled a girl and is then betraying her." "But I will see to it now... as to how doesn't he mends his ways." "Look..." "listen to me what if the girl comes to know the reality?" "How will she, man?" "She hasn't yet seen DK." "Now I'm DK for her." "Try understanding man." "The air is hot..." "That's why I'm telling you... play cautiously... or else you'll burn." "Didn't I tell you to keep an eye?" "!" " Sorry!" "Now you've to handle this thing and Popat!" "Bye-bye to both DK and you!" "Hey!" "Hey!" "Hey!" "Hey!" "Where's he?" "Disappeared!" "The rascals... gave me all the wrong numbers and got me thrashed from the public!" "I won't spare him!" "I won't spare him!" "Excuse me..." " Huh?" "Your keys." "'A girl shall come in your life..." "who might have a mole on her heart.'" "What you doing?" "'Cool-Cool!" "'" "'Cool-Cool!" "'" "'Cool-Cool!" "'" "Seems to less?" "I've to manage." "Go... and call the sir." " Okay." "I'm the sir." "So, you're DK?" " Any doubt?" "Kareena?" "Shahid..." "I mean..." "I mean DK." "Come." "Please come in." "Don't be scared." "Don't be scared." "I'm there baby." "Don't be scared." "Bye." "This means... the moment our lady officer lures him..." "We'll catch him red handed." "The plan is good." "But why is it that you need an officer of 20-30 for this operation?" "Good question, Mr. Commissioner?" "But, you've to understand that I'll have to create some situations for him so that he will be in a position to attempt rape." "And this particular emotion will arise only when the girl is between 20 and 30 and she should be beautiful and absolutely charming and... sexy!" "But, such an emotion can arise even at the sight of an elderly woman, Dr. Screwwala." "I'm not talking about you." "I'm talking about that killer." "Sir!" " Yes?" "Sir... as you told I've carefully selected four lady officers from the department." "Good." "Are they all between 20 and 30?" " They seem to be." "Come, sir." "Sir, this is Inspector Phule." " Phule?" "This is Inspector Masoom Kumari." "Hello." " Come." "This is Inspector Roopmati." " Who?" "Roopmati." " Hello." " Come." "This is Inspector Kamsin Gupta." "Are they all in the police department?" " Yes." "You can go." "Nobody else?" " Else?" "Yeah." "She might be on the way." "But, she's very hot-headed." "She's called 'Ab Tak Chappan' (56 as yet) in the department." "57!" "Your DK is number 57 whom I've straightened out." "He might pick up anything else or not but he'll certainly pick up your phone." "Get away!" "Who is she?" "Sir, she's Urmila Matondkar." " Urmila Matondkar..." "Is she okay?" " She needs some repairing but..." "Where's he?" "Is she okay?" " Yes." "Mr. Commissioner... if I wear short dresses and if I tell him 'Welcome'..." "then let alone that rapist not any common man will leave me." "Isn't it, Dr. Screwwala?" "Isn't it normal?" "Do you find this man as normal?" "!" "Lights off!" "Look... he's reminded of something the moment he sees the watch." "And he risks his life... to reach somewhere on time." "But, where?" "That's the reply to it." "He knows that a girl arrives in the balcony daily at this time." "He has his timing for this perversion." "Look..." "look... is this normal?" "Motherf..." " Look ahead." "Any man can get excited at this sight of this girl in this pose but except for the Commissioner." " Right, sir." "This man's mind has crossed all the limits to vulgarities." "Look what all he does when he's unable to control his lust." " Motherf..." "And he tries to head toward the girl but she's fortunate enough to move out from there but then see what he does to overcome his lust." "Look." "When he can do all this in broad daylight imagine what might he not do during night." "No, his game is not up yet." "Now, here you might feel that he's playing with the cat." "But, no... his game is something different." "This is normal, Mrs. Matondkar?" "The bloody!" "You gun seems to be firing daily, man?" "It was that Mercedes babe the other day and today this one... whom did you enjoyed the most?" "With this one?" "Want to hear the details?" " Of course, man!" "Tell me." " She came into the bedroom." "Welcome to my bed." "How is it?" "Great." " Great, isn't it?" "I knew it." "In the bedroom?" "Then?" " Then she held my hand in hers." "At her touch... my whole world started spinning." " Aaah!" "What happened then?" "Taange (Legs)!" " So you went in a Tanga (Horse carriage)?" "Not the Tanga (Horse carriage)..." "her legs they were so beautiful..." "I grabbed them tight!" "Then?" " Then she brought her silky tresses near my face and then she spread them on my face..." "I'm telling you the truth!" "I'm not DK!" " Fooling Inspector Urmila Matondkar?" "!" "Asshole!" "Wow!" "What happened next?" "Then she took me into the bathroom and in the bath-tub... we three..." " Three?" "Me... her..." " The plumber?" "Water." " Oh, yeah water." "Water." " What happened next?" "We were lying in the water and a current was passing through my body!" "The phone's ringing!" " Huh?" " The phone." "Hello." " DK dear, please don't put the phone down." "Yes, Miss Kiran, I'll do whatever you say but the truth is..." "I'm not DK." "What?" "You're not DK?" " Yeah." "Then where's DK?" " DK... that dog... that swine he betrayed you and took off to America." "DK betrayed me and went to America?" " Yeah." "Did he forgot all the nights that he spent with me at the Juhu Bungalow?" "Juhu's Bungalow!" "The promises he made in the backseat of my Mercedes!" "Mercedes!" " He forgot everything?" "Miss Kiran... if I had I been in DK's place then I wouldn't have made you weep." "I would have never left you ever." " Really?" "I wish there was someone like me in your life." "I wish..." "But... have you ever seen me?" "As I saw you." "As I got to know you." "I lost all my senses." "Ever since I saw you, Kiran..." "I'm unable to see anything else." "That means you really love me?" "You're not after my money?" "No, not at all." "I'm just after you, Kiran." "How romantic!" "Stay ever behind me." "And, you stay ever in front of me." " How sweet!" "I love you, Kiran." " I love you, love." "My love, I love you." "I love you." "I love you." "Help me, man." " From today on I've stopped doing labour work." "Meaning?" " You used to say not to play in blind, isn't it?" "Today I played it blind..." "and I won the jackpot the car, the bungalow..." "and Kiran... everything!" "How come?" " I've set Kiran." "Boss's Kiran?" " She was Boss's... now she's mine." "Tomorrow she might be someone else's." "Such girls are untrustworthy." "They forget everything along with the passing night." "You better move." "Go and do the labour work." "Don't tell me later..." "that I didn't tell you." "Don't tell me later!" "Aaah!" "Hey!" "Move in!" "Move in!" "What's this, man?" "Where's it stuck?" "Come out!" "It's stuck in the wrong place, man!" "What's this?" "Out!" "Out!" "It will get torn!" "I'll shoot the bastard right here!" "Miss Matondkar do you want to fail the operation 'Fail' right on the first day?" "We've to catch him red handed." "And not bare-handed." "But, look, what is he up to?" "!" "Listen... according to my plan..." "first you go to his house." "Okay?" "Let's go." "We've to change your appearance." "Look at first Bihar has to be turned into Mumbai and then in Mumbai..." "Nalasopara and Bhayander have to be turned into Malabar hill." "It's difficult." "But try it out." "We're so cool!" "We're so cool!" " Get lost you asshole!" "I'm sorry, madam." "I didn't recognise you." "Should I shove in the rod?" "!" " Rod?" "!" " Hold it." "Hold it." "He didn't recognise means its working but one thing has to be changed... your lingo." "Once I get a new job..." "I'll get rid of this DK." "Oh God!" "The landlord!" "When will I get rid of him?" "!" "God willing... it should get sold today." "Come, madam." "Here's the flat." "Come, madam." "I'll show you the whole flat." "I want to see it alone." " Want to see it alone?" "Why?" "I want to stay in here alone." " Oh, I see." "Fine." "You see it." "I'll be back from the society's office." "'A girl shall come in your life..." "who might have a dot on her heart.'" "Madam, did you see the house?" "!" " Yes, here..." "Don't tell him that I'm here... cut off!" "So, sister, are you purchasing this flat?" "No, I don't want to purchase it." "Rather I want it on rent." "No, sister, I've repented a lot since I gave it on rent once hence I don't want to give it again on rent." "So what should I do?" "I'll make a move." "Seems like the house is jinxed." "It isn't getting sold off." "Hello." " Screwwala's in there?" " Why you?" " Hey!" "Urmila Martod." " Urmila Martod!" "He's bathing." "Hello." "Just excuse me please, one second." "Go out for a while." "Thank you very much." "Sorry to keep you holding but I hope you didn't tell Mrs. Screwwala about your identity?" "No." " Good." "She might not be able to bear it if she comes to know all of a sudden." "Hold on, please." "Stop suspecting!" "Have you been to his house?" " Yes, I've." "He has got a filthy sight!" "The bloody..." "Language, Miss Matondkar." "Be careful of your language." "Yeah." " What happened next?" "What else..." "I said I don't want to purchase it... give it on rent." "Good good." "Did he hear you say that?" " Yes, he did." "Now, do as he says." "Don't argue." "He'll definitely come after you." "Aaah!" "Come here." "Come here!" "Come!" "Look..." "I've heard you talking to him." "You want this flat on rent, isn't it?" " Hmm." "You'll get it." "Actually you don't have to given the rent even." "You can stay with me." "The way you I stay." "But... are you okay in mounting?" " What did you say?" "!" "Nobody should know about it so the mounting should be done from behind." "By the way... today's it's the day off... nobody will come over there." "Don't be scared." "Just come to stay over there." " When?" "Tonight at 2 A.M." "Okay?" " Hmm." "Hey!" "One minute!" "One minute!" "What's your name?" " Urmila." "Rahul." "Nice to meet you." "Please do come. 2 at night." "Ouch!" "I'll see you." "Bye." "What?" "2 at night?" "In the dark?" "To climb up without practice?" "It might a bit difficult." "But are you calling from a PCO?" " Yes, sir, I'm calling from a PCO." "Good." "Because I don't want my wife to get hold of your mobile number." "Do one thing... call me five minutes later on my mobile phone." "Put down the phone." "Motherf..." "Stop suspecting me!" "I'll see... as to where did the phone come from!" "Tell me." "Some girl called up from your place." "Madam, a lot many girls come here and make calls." "Whom all should I keep stock of?" "After all I run a business." " What business?" "Laundry business." " What?" " I pack clothes (stammering)." "Do you want something?" "I still don't believe, man..." "that she agreed." "That girl with the spot is coming home, man." "She's coming home to stay." "Now we two shall stay together." "Not two... but three... even I'm gonna stay there." "Stay at the Boss's place for some time." "Boss's place?" "By the way..." "I'm unable to sleep without wearing the Boss's negligee..." "I mean night-suit." "It's so difficult." "By the way... what about that girl of yours?" "About her?" "It's really grave." "Her parents really belong to Hitler's lineage!" "You never told me that Kiran is from Germany!" "By Hitler I mean they are very strict!" "They have locked her in a room!" "I don't think I'll be able to without her." "I mean... without her money." "I've already settled down at her Marine Drive flat." "Then what are you planning to do?" "Today I'm going to her house and I'll show them that I'm no less a being!" "Tell me... is it easy find handsome grooms like me?" "Everyone shall go head over heels!" "They will freeze at my sight!" "Munna, your father had built this White House with all his black money." "Yes, he did... but we've to sell it because of Kiran." "Is that man coming to see the house?" "No, his son is coming." "Actually the boy is supposed to get married and he'll be staying her after his marriage." "Oh my!" "The height of this bungalow is really sinking me to the bottom!" "He loves me!" "He loves me not!" "He loves me!" "He loves me not!" "You're real crazy." " Yes, crazy in love!" "Kiran!" "Wow!" "He's so handsome!" "Cool!" "Look, we're so cool!" "Who's that man-woman besides Kiran!" "?" "He's the same one... who works at DK's store that means first it was DK and now it's him just don't know what spell do you cast on them!" "What have you got that I don't?" "That extra." " Huh!" "?" "Coming!" "He's coming upstairs!" "Just don't know what shall happen!" "I'm coming, love!" "I'm coming!" "Stop, Kiran!" " Please do something." "How you, Ramu?" " Cool, man." "Just chilling." "It seems he has come." "Come, come." " Come, please come." "Welcome." "The party's onto something else it seems." "Bless me, uncle." "Bless me aunt." " God bless you." "Sakubai (Maid)!" " Huh?" "!" "You met them at the time of Diwali, Isn't it?" "She's my mother." "Be seated." " Oh!" " Grandma!" " Be seated." "At least there's this satisfaction that our thing is going into safe hands." " Yes, of course." "Child, what will you have?" "Hot, cold, or..." "I'll eat and drink after the marriage." "No, child." "You've come here for the first time." "Ghatotkach!" " Ghatotkach!" "?" "Will you see the house, son?" "What's there to see, father?" "Whatever's there... it's ours." "I mean after marriage it's mine." "That's right, son." "We're guests in here just for a short time." "Don't worry, grandma." "I'm there for you." "After you depart..." "I'll properly conduct your final rites." " Huh!" "?" "Final rites!" "?" " He's talking about the supplication." "Why not?" "Why not?" "It's necessary to supplication." "So, should we take it as final?" "Final?" "To tell the truth..." "I thought you might object to it." "Why is that so?" " I mean... it happens to hand over your priced treasure to a stranger." "How it is..." "I know." "But... you guys are a great family." "Great family!" "By the way where's Kiran?" " Kiran!" "You know Kiran?" "You joke really well." "You naughty-naughty!" "Kiran!" "Kiran!" "I like his sense of humour!" " They have locked me here!" "I hope mummy  daddy didn't do anything to you!" "Both are ready." "What's this, uncle?" "You've locked in Kiran?" "!" "One minute... who are you?" "Who am I?" "Jokes yet again?" "I'm your would-be son in law." "And, Kiran's would be husband." " Huh!" "By the way... is there any affair between these two?" " Shut up!" "He's the one who has provoked Kiran!" "Uncle, why have you turned into a villain from a supporting actor all of a sudden?" " Shut up!" "He's wants to gain from her naïïve nature!" "Get lost from here!" " Look, uncle I've come here to talk about marriage." "Talk with some respect." "Be shameful, you scoundrel!" "What shame?" "I've just come here to seek Kiran's hand!" "You're talking as if I've made Kiran pregnant!" "O' God!" "How shall we face the people?" "!" " Shanti!" "Shanti, listen to me!" "I'm trying to tell the same thing to Shanti." "Get lost from here." "Get lost from here!" "Get lost!" "Get lost!" "Get lost or I'll shove a blunt sword in your ass!" "You'll die with the septic!" "Get lost, scum!" "Or else I'll cut you off!" " Cut me!" "I'll make it with my legs if you cut my hands!" "I'll make it with my back if you cut my legs!" "And if you cut the back then..." " Then I'll cut such a thing..." "Take it easy!" "Take it easy!" "Don't take tension at all!" "I'm going!" "Hey, uncle... remember that Kiran is my love!" "Attack!" "O' God!" "Now, tell me... what's your problem?" "Actually, doctor... the problem is..." "I love men." "I just love boys." "Look... this is not hereditary." " It is, doctor." "The thing is... even my father likes boys." "My grandfather liked boys." "Moreover even my great grandfather liked boys." "Look, look, look... is there nobody in your house who likes girls as well?" "Yes, it is." " Very good." "Who's it?" " My sister." "One minute." "Dr. Rekha, here." " Rekha, child this is Bhushan uncle from Mumbai." "Hello, uncle." "How are you?" " Child, I badly need your help." "Sure... tell me." " Can come to Mumbai for some days." "In fact I'm myself contemplating of leaving Delhi for some days." "Uncle... these days there are such cases that I'm really fed up." "Anyways how's Kiran?" "He has really forgotten me." "He has even forgotten as to what he is!" "There's a very big problem." "Kiran wants to get married." " Uncle, what's the problem in it?" "Listen to me carefully, Rekha..." "the problem is the person whom Kiran wants to marry... is a boy!" "What!" "?" "You mean..." "Kiran... being a boy..." "is getting married to a boy!" "?" "Yes, child." " Give him my number, doctor." " Please, one minute." "What did you say, child?" " No, uncle." "Not to you." "You please don't worry." "I'll come to as soon as possible." "What sort of clothes does he tells to me to wear?" "C'mon." "It will be a big problem if someone sees!" "C'mon let's go!" "Come carefully." "Ouch!" "Huh!" "Huh!" "Today you won't surive!" "Today... your legs will be elsewhere and your hands shall be elsewhere!" "I'm really pissed off because of you!" "I won't leave you!" "Oh sorry!" "It was an old score to settle." "Are you alright?" "C'mon." "Let's go." "Come." "No, no." "Don't come in." "You've come home for the first time." "I'll get the rituals' plate." "Rituals' plate?" "Hello, Screwwala?" "I'm here." "He's a very strange man." "He has gone in to get the rituals' plate." " I see." "It's necessary for the man who sacrifices to apply the sacrificial dot to the sacrificial goat." "What are you talking?" "He's coming!" "I'll put down the phone!" "Om!" "Come in." "Please come in." "This is your room." "You take rest." "We'll talk in the morning." "Good night, huh!" " Good night." "Why are you screaming?" "!" "What if anyone hears?" "!" "What are you doing?" "!" "What are you doing here?" "!" " I was here to wake you up." "This way?" " Actually when I had come earlier you were sleeping at that time." "So?" " So in sleep you were..." " What?" "...looking very beautiful." "I thought while you're sleeping in the meantime I'll get Mrs. Gaitonde's milk." "You take a bath and get fresh." "I'll prepare the tea and breakfast meanwhile." "Mrs. Gaitonde's milk!" "Shit!" "It's empty like the head of that Screwwala!" "Screwwala... why did you take out the bullets from my gun?" "Don't you know how danger this man is?" "Cool down, Miss Matondkar." "There's logic behind it." "To hell with your logic." "I want bullets." "Good." "Good." "I think Mrs. Screwwala has gone to bathe." "You do this way... when she goes to the temple... better come to home." "We'll talk peacefully." "What are you doing there?" "Come here!" "You bloody..." " No, you're taking it in the wrong sense." "The thing's... this time around Popat (Landlord) daily stands down there." "What did you say (She thinks to be the penis)?" "Seems something's burning in the kitchen." "I'll be right back." "This Popat (she thinks to be the penis) just stands downstairs." "Seems I've to bring the bullets for him!" "Called someone to meet?" "Me?" "Not at all." "And, why aren't you going to the temple today?" "To seek a long union for us!" "No." "The priest told me that this is my seventh life!" "Fine, go and get my balls from within." "Which one?" "Red?" "White?" "Or blue?" "AII!" "The man and his three balls!" "My whole life's wasted while handling his balls!" "It's not opening!" "Pull it inside!" " Come in, come in!" "She daily goes to the temple." "But didn't go today." "I want the Goliyaan (meaning bullet)!" "Goliyaan (meaning contraceptive pills)!" "There's no need of Goliyaan (contraceptive pills);" "I'm taking the precautions." "What if something goes wrong?" "I can't risk without the Golis (bullets)!" "There's no need of that." "Dr. Screwwala is aware of his responsibilities." "Who's she?" "!" "She's talking about what Goliyaan (pills)?" "!" "Goliyaan (pills)!" "She's a patient." "But I cant prescribe the pills without an examination because what happens inside the room may not happen outside the room." "So it's very important we take the balls inside so that you remain outside the room!" "Now tell me... what happened?" "That bloody..." " Sssh!" "That rascal is very dangerous." "He was frequently talking about the Popat (penis) with me!" "Had I got the bullets then I would have shot him in the head!" "Calm down." "Calm down, Miss Matondkar." "Sit down." "That's why I didn't keep the bullets." "Now, I'll explain you the second round of our operation." "Every minute... and every second you'll have to pull him near you!" "How come?" "How come?" "!" "What ho come?" "This way." "Your gait." "Your style." "Your sway!" "Then what?" "Then you'll have to take cool breaths!" " How?" "This way." "This way." "Hands down." "In short... you'll have to transform into a beautiful flower." "The moment he approaches you like a bee the moment he'll force himself upon you we shall then pounce upon him!" "It's just today that I haven't worn my bangles!" "I'm ruined!" "The whole world is against my love!" "Nobody is standing by me other than Karan!" "Let me die!" "Let me die!" "Kiran, what are you doing?" " Let me die!" "Let me die, sister!" "Kiran, what are you up to?" "!" "Nobody is with me other than Karan!" " I'm with you!" "What?" "!" "You said him that?" "!" "I had to, uncle." "Thinking that all are against him..." "I dread he might do something untoward so at first I want to win his trust and then I would want to make him understand." "Uncle, you give me that boy's name, number and address." "Hello." " Hello." " The same crook!" "Calm down." "Relax, uncle." "Give me." "Hello." " Hello, Kiran..." "No, I'm not Kiran but Kiran's sister Rekha." "Elder sis!" "Elder sis..." "can I talk to Kiran?" "It's very important for me to meet her." "You can't." "Because before that you've to meet me." "You!" "?" "It seems I've to lure the elder sis and become Kiran's brother in law." "Fine, then... come at Juhu Barista at 4 in the evening." "Why did you call me so urgently?" "What happened?" "Do you know... a big problem has arisen!" " What?" "The girl who's staying with me... suddenly something has happened to her." "She's... she roams skimpily clad." "How does she look like?" " It's not like that, man!" "She doesn't let me breathe for even a second!" " What does she do exactly?" "What happened?" " Where's your skirt?" "Skirt?" "I've washed it." "Actually the thing is I'm used to my earlier job..." "I used to keep washing... but ever since I've come here I'm not getting anything to wash." "Even you're not giving me chance!" "What?" " You..." "Let's go somewhere." "It's very hot in here." "And within... nothing..." "was wearing nothing, man!" "Oh, man!" "Then?" " Then..." "Then she starts reading a book." "Sits right in front of me." "Rarely opens the book..." "more of opens herself!" "Then she tells me... 'I really like books without a cover.'" "And, then suddenly when I'm seated on the sofa..." "See, this watch is damaged." "It often gets slow." "Its two hours slow." "If this keeps happening..." "then you'll be left behind and the world shall move ahead." "And when I was setting out to come here..." "Should I tell you some thing?" " Huh?" "I've some hot... very hot I've brought some hot tea for you." "Will you?" " Yeah." "Careful." "Don't spill it." "What-what are you doing?" "!" "I'm cleaning it." "I'll get it washed!" "That's my job, isn't it?" "But... 'I'll wipe it all.'" "Then... then what happened?" "What else?" "After all I'm a human." "Tell me..." "what could I've done?" "Control yourself!" "Control yourself!" "How long should I control, man?" "Was she not the girl with the spot then I would have... - What would you've done?" "I would have thrown her out!" "Just don't know why is she doing that." "She's testing you." "Testing me?" " Yes." "She thinks you're some flirt who tries to swoon every girl." "But, you'll have to tell her that you're not a flirt..." "but a die-hard lover!" "Don't see the fire that she's trying to show you!" " Yes!" "Maintain your dignity!" "Dignity!" " Dignity!" " But how?" "Ignore her!" "Take her out of your mind!" "Think of something else!" "Yes!" " Okay, I'll make a move." "Kiran's sister..." "I've to meet her." "Okay?" "Bye!" "Listen..." " What?" "You too don't forget it." " What?" " Kiran's sister... dignity!" "Dignity!" " Dignity!" "Dignity!" "'The girls these days... do they come here for coffee or do they come here for a public display?" "'" "Excuse me..." "Rekha, you!" "?" " Karan!" "You!" "?" "Rekha..." " Yes?" "Should I tell you something?" "Yes, tell me." "Would you like to become my time-pass?" "Okay." "Will you eat something or..." "The coffee will be fine." "Here." "Cafe cool Laffe." "Your favourite... right?" "Yeah." "But how did you know?" "Because it's my favourite as well." "And, the likes of lovers are always the same." "Meaning?" " I used to love you a lot." "That very slap changed me." "I never knew that a slap of mine will change you so much, Karan." "Me too." " But, what was the reason that you fell in love with Kiran?" "You could have found any girl?" "But I want only Kiran." "Because Kiran is my first..." "I mean... my second and the last love." "That's it." "The one who has an affair with every other girl... is talking this way?" "!" "What if Kiran comes to know about it?" "You won't tell anything to Kiran!" "Please!" "I make you beg!" "I mean I beg to you!" "I myself used to spread the rumours of my affairs." "But the truth is... no girl has ever touched." "Except for... but please don't tell anything to Kiran." "I beg to you." "I plead to you, Rekha!" " It's okay, Karan." "Karan, it's okay!" "It's okay." "Are you telling the truth?" " I swear by Kiran." "And if you tell all that to Kiran then I'll eat this poison... and die." "Karan... that's sugar." "I've heavy diabetes." "Excuse me." "Hello." "What a performance, man!" "Hey, Karan!" " Rocky!" "After so many years!" "Great to see you, man!" " Great to see you too, man!" "Yes, uncle, I know this boy." "He was a normal guy." "He wasn't at all like this." "Huh!" "Maybe... these everything is possible." "But you don't worry, uncle." "I'll have to seek the help of my guru Dr. Screwwala to solve this case." "Cool down." "Cool down." "Calm down." "I promise you from today on no lady patient will come to Dr. Screwwala for pills." "And if any come... then I'll shoot them!" " So be it." "Yes?" " Can I see Dr. Screwwala?" "He has stopped seeing lady patients." "Madam, look..." "I'm not his patient but his student." " Student?" "I barred the patients... and now the students have started pouring in!" "Bloody hell student... that man must have sent her here!" "Your one slap changed his life... yes or no?" " Yes, sir." " Good." "The boy who used to chase the girls these days he's chasing boys!" "That means he's still in search for true love." "Now, the very hands that you slapped him with should be used to attract him towards you!" "Sir..." "I couldn't get you." "Come..." "I'll tell you." "It's a simple case of..." "what is that word?" "Psychotic Role Reversal?" " Exactly!" "Same thing." "For example... 30 years back my wife Parvati looked exactly like you." "The same beauty... and the same tenderness." "So, it's natural for me that I don't care for the world and pull you in my arms." "Because today I'm seeing the same Parvati in you." "Just imagine... if today..." "Parvati..." "the way she looked 30 years back then she can easily get me!" "Understood?" " Understood!" "Parvati..." "Parvati..." "you'll have to do something!" "You'll have to turn this waist slim in order to bring back your husband!" "He wants the Parvati that was 30 years back!" "C'mon, Parvati!" "Do it!" "Do it!" "Rahul!" "Rahul!" "What are you looking at?" "How do I look like?" " Beautiful!" "But, there's one problem what if someone mistakenly touches my back?" "I'll be right back." "Rahul... just come in!" "No, no, no!" "'O' God!" "O my God!" "'" "Rahul... come soon!" " 'Ward off the troubles of your devotees!" "'" "Rekha... you..." " Yes..." "Me!" "It seems today... you've quite unchained thoughts." "Yes... that's to open your closed eyes." "'Bungalow!" "'Car!" "'" "No, Rekha..." "I can't come to you." "Why?" "What do I lack?" "You don't have the thing..." "that Kiran has." "'Now..." "I must be telling him..." "as to what do I have!" "'" "Okay, Urmila, I see..." "I see..." "You've to take him there." "And, you've to become fodder for that steed so that he has not other option... the poor chap." "Doctor!" " The mare's here!" "My balls!" "Where are they?" "Your balls are in my hand!" " Really?" "It's been cast..." "My spell has been cast." "It's happened..." "Something has happened to me." "Wake up!" "O' sleeping, beloved." "Look here..." "What a feel is this!" "Never shall such nights come;" "never shall a situation might arise!" "Never shall such nights come;" "never shall a situation might arise!" "Try understanding my restiveness." "It's been cast..." "My spell has been cast." "The pain is whispering to breaths." "The lips have a vibrant colour." "Touch me..." "My heart's stirring within." "The tresses are fragrance and the body is sandal." "Touch me..." "The movement is straying and the solitude is arid." "The movement is straying and the solitude is arid." "Try understanding my restiveness." "It's been cast..." "My spell has been cast." "How should I tell you my plight?" "I dread dying in this restiveness." "What should I do?" "Why do you make me suffer in such an ambience?" "And, why do you hesitate in inching closer?" "What should I do?" "This is aloofness is no good; it's necessary to unite." "This is aloofness is no good; it's necessary to unite." "Try understanding my restiveness." "It's been cast..." "It's been cast..." "It's been cast..." "What happened?" " Doctor now I'm even I'm suspecting on my being a woman!" "Men don't spare a woman..." "be it 16 or 60." "He doesn't even touch me!" " Stupid." "Doctor, I can't do anything more than this!" "Your operation 'Fail'..." "will fail because of me!" "On the contrary it's fascinating." "This boy is smarter than I thought." "But he didn't do anything." "You know... what this phenomenon of doing nothing is called by us doctors?" "Pre-convulsive Psychotic Apathy." "If we term that in common terminology then it's the calm before the storm!" "Officer, our mission has arrived at a very dangerous point!" "Now, if I touch him..." "if I feel him once then I can give you the exact date, exact day, and the exact time as to when's the volcano going to explode!" "I'll have to check for some irregularities in the frontal lobe." "Blood pressure, RNA, DNA, Occular" " Dylasion, height, weight, reflexes..." "We can't waste even a minute!" "You do one thing..." "you tell him that I what am I to you..." "I'm yours..." "Uncle!" "Uncle will be fine!" "Uncle?" " Hmm." " Okay." "Okay, I'm your uncle." "And by profession I'm a tailor." "Tailor?" " Yeah, a tailor." "And I want to sew a suit for him." "Suit..." " Logic!" "Make use of logic!" "If he gets to know that I'm a doctor then I won't get to know the thing that is important for me to get to know!" "How's the tea?" "Rahul... my uncle's coming in the evening." "Uncle!" "For what?" "To see you." " To see me!" "?" "Actually... he wants to sew a suit for you." "Saved the money for the wedding suit!" " What did you say?" "No... just tell me..." "what am I supposed to do?" "Nothing." "Uncle will ask you some questions just for the sake of formality." " No problem." "As it is I'm born for formalities." "Rahul... just take it as if its your trial by fire." "Trial by fire!" "?" "And, if you pass this out, then..." " Then?" "Then..." " Then shall we move?" "Your uncle is coming, isn't it?" "So we'll have to get vegetables etc for him, isn't it?" "We've to." " So... better get ready." "How did you find the tea?" " Very good." "It's just that... you don't cook the supper." "Please." "I search for him daily in the morning!" "Hey!" "Firstly, get this window repaired. - Forget that." "Popat's standing down." "What?" "!" " Oh, yeah." "I forgot to tell you." "There's this Popat, a laundryman from whom we took a suit and couldn't return." "And, he stands daily downstairs for the recovery!" "That day you were talking about this Popat?" " Yeah!" "I thought that you..." " I know what you might have thought about?" "You might have thought of that green one that flies (Popat" "Parrot), isn't it?" "Yeah." " You're really..." "C'mon, let's go from that main gate." " But, if anyone gets us there?" "None will get us there." "C'mon." " Yes, sir?" "You don't get Star Plus." "I'll check it right away." "It just pisses me off!" "Look, he has finally got his mate." " Hi." "When did you get married?" "Five days ago." " The couple's so cute, isn't it?" "Planning for kids?" " Yeah..." "good if that happens." "How will it happen with no effort?" "Tell me if you need some help I'm ever ready." " What?" "!" "You'll help him?" "!" " Yes!" "It's been thirty years and you couldn't give me a son what the hell will you help him?" "!" "Enjoy yourselves, kids." "Enjoy." " Bye." " Bye." "The old man is quite amorous." "'She has had so many drinks on my money... ' '... and I'm getting to bear the loss.' I'm losing my cool, Rekha." "Why hasn't Kiran come yet?" "I told you earlier that I'm not interested in meeting you!" "Look, Karan, don't get angry." "Why don't you understand?" "Kiran's exit from the house... is not only difficult but it's impossible." "Fine, then I'll go to her house." "Karan, listen to me..." " I don't want to listen to you!" "But, will you listen to Kiran?" " Kiran..." " Yeah." "Kiran has sent a message for you." " Message." "If you take me as your mate... then I'll stand by you for your whole life." " Really?" "I swear by you." "Did Kiran say all this?" "Yeah... she said." "For a moment I thought..." "that you're expressing yourself." "If that's true..." "will you forget Kiran?" "Of course... not." "I've got only reason to live..." "and that is Kiran." "Tell me... did Kiran really say all that?" " Yeah." "If I give you something..." "will you pass it on to Kiran?" "Of course." "You... kissed me?" "This is for Kiran." "Can you pass it on to her for me?" "God bless you." "'I deemed the one as the symbol of unfaithfulness... ' '... has crossed all the barriers in proving his love... '" "'I'll have to anyhow get him back." "I love you, Karan.'" "What a boot, man!" " The headlight's great as well!" "And, the bonnet is great as well!" " It will be quite great in driving it." "Boss... can we have her for a while?" "You bloody..." " Hold it." "Hold this." "Hold this for a minute." "What did you say?" "!" " Only for test drive, man!" "Got the license?" "!" " Who the hell are you?" "!" "RTO officer!" "RTO officer?" " Yeah." "Not bad... hah!" "Look, whatever you're doing..." "is not the right thing." "I'm still telling you... go back..." "there's quite a lot danger inside." "The danger's to my matrimony." "You said downstairs that you've to go to 205." "And here you come at 506?" "That's because the killer comes here discreetly." "Does he come discreetly or is it you who come discreetly?" "O God!" " If I get to hear the wailings of some child then I..." "She's my wife!" "She's my wife... my wife!" "I never knew that you're coming." "Come in... uncle..." "'Since I'm along so she's calling uncle!" "'" "Where's he?" " Inside." "'The one who came as the student is inside the kitchen!" "'" "You're searching for something?" " Toilet." "Take a left from ahead." "I'll go myself." "Hey!" "Hey!" "Where did they go?" "!" "Was he telling the truth?" "Listen!" "Aah!" "With such a big knife... he..." "Calm down." "Calm down." "Didn't I tell you its dangerous?" "Forgive me." "I mistrusted you." "Okay, okay, it's okay." "Eat these pills till then." "Meantime, I'll finish my job and come." "Okay?" "She needlessly got scared." "And you know that..." "I know." "I know everything." "It's going to be..." "it's going to be alright." "I'm sorry, sir..." " Nothing to worry." "I've given her the pills." "I'm doctor..." " Tailor." " Tailor, Tailor Screwwala." "Nice to meet you, sir." " Nice to meet you." "In fact to be precise..." "because of that traffic 27, 28, 29... and... and the pollution was so much that open your mouth, child." "Say Aaah!" " Aaah!" "Take deep breath!" "There's so much air in the kidneys that..." "Oh my God..." "I mean..." "Let's sit over there." " One minute... hope not having fever?" " Let's go." "So much of preparations?" "Isn't your uncle very much like mine?" "Who put off that light?" "!" " Sorry..." "actually it's the fuse problem." "I'll be right back. - Where are you going?" "!" "The breaths too heavy." "The heart's beating like a jackhammer." "The eyes are bloodshot." "His." "His has made the first attack!" " On whom?" "On my wife!" "Sir, actually he fumbled on the stopper..." "Just see how much he fumbles ahead!" "Yeah." "Yeah." "Oh!" "Aah!" "Oh!" "Huh!" "Huh!" "Are you alright?" "Seem she isn't?" "Actually, I simply have tea..." "I know!" "I know... that too made of special milk!" "But... how did you know?" " Logic." "Urmila, you just..." "Okay... pick a ball from these." "Pick up." "Pick up." "Why did you pick the red one?" "It was nearer... that's why." "Oh!" "So he picks anything that is near." "Uncle... why have you brought these balls?" "For the suit!" " For the suit!" "?" "Because I'm no ordinary tailor." "I don't measure people, rather I feel them." "C'mon!" "Great!" "Stand here!" "Raise your hands!" "One... one minute!" "Almost 57!" "Bend down!" "Keep bending!" "37!" "Enough!" "Pull it up!" "Pull the leg up!" "Good!" "More upwards." "Kid, I told you to look upwards." "Upwards." "Look upwards." "Now... now the shirt details." "And now... the sleeves' details." "Look up." "Don't move." "Oh!" " For the colour details." "And, now... it's the pant's turn!" "Rahul..." "look inside... something's burning in the kitchen." " Huh!" "Yeah!" "Hey!" "This detail was very necessary, brother!" "Huh!" "Nothing's burning in here!" "Maybe in that room..." " Hold it." "But, if someone sees the smoke..." " Stop." " But..." " Stop!" "Nothing's burning anywhere." "But you said that..." "It was just like that." "Actually, uncle was a bit too much..." "Yeah, I felt the same way." "But, after all he's your uncle, isn't it?" "And you said about that trial by fire..." "Did it hurt too much?" " No, nothing happened." "I'll apply something right away." "Okay?" "Take are of uncle." "He has come here for the first time." "Okay?" " Hmm." "O my God!" "Molestation of Draupadi (A character from Mahabharata)!" "What are you doing here?" "What is this portrait doing in here?" "It's just there." "Why will any person keep the portrait of Draupadi's molestation in his closet?" "Why?" " Logic." "There's logic behind it." "And the day when the results of all these tests come out you shall get to know that logic as well... and trust me the results are going to be shocking!" "Ma'am... are you going somewhere?" "Where am I going?" "I'm going nowhere!" "Where was I going?" "!" "Yeah!" "Yeah!" "Fresh!" "To feel fresh!" "Yeah." "Okay, okay." "But, ma'am..." "I was about to tell you the same, ma'am." "Let go!" "Let go!" "Let go!" "Ma'am, listen to me!" "Listen to me, ma'am!" " Let me go!" "I'm coming!" " Let go!" "Urmila!" "The window!" "The window!" "Sir, that window..." " That is my wife and not the window!" "Let go my wife!" "Leave my wife at least!" "Leave my wife, please!" "She's my wife!" "Don't do that to her!" "Let her go!" "Let her go!" "Wife!" "Wife!" "You've survived!" "I know it..." " No!" "The window!" "Problem!" "That Popat!" "I know..." "I know it!" "Keep in..." "keep in touch!" "Okay?" "Come here!" " Oh!" "I failed." "But you passed for me." "But won't they take me wrongly?" "Whatever they might think..." "it makes no difference to me." "But it makes to me." "I cannot lose you." "Why?" " Because..." "Because... because you're the girl who shall change my destiny." "This thing... who told you this?" "My..." "Your heart?" "No." "My astrologer." "What!" "?" " Yeah." "An astrologer told me that a girl shall enter in my life who shall change my destiny and there shall be a dot on her heart." "Meaning... you kept me in this house only because of this dot?" "!" "No!" "Then?" "!" "Because of the heart." "The temptation..." "Yeah... the temptation..." "The temptation..." "Yes, my temptation..." "You turned sixteen;" "and my heart went barmy." "You turned sixteen; and my heart went berserk." "The eyes of sixteen..." "and the chat of sixteen..." "Rather you've not turned sixteen;" "but you've turned into a spark!" "I turned sixteen; and your heart went barmy." "I turned sixteen; and your heart went berserk." "The eyes of sixteen..." "and the chat of sixteen..." "Rather I've not turned sixteen;" "but I've turned into a spark!" "I turned sixteen; and your heart went barmy." "Temptation... my temptation..." "Temptation... your temptation..." "Temptation... my temptation..." "Temptation... my temptation..." "From here... and from there..." "Wherever I see from..." "You look deadly from everywhere." "From here... and from there..." "Should I say what... and from where?" "There's some yearn rising in me." "Is it your body or is it some spell?" "Since I'm unable to control myself." "You're crazy about my tresses." "And, you've got the temptation of my fragrance." "I turned sixteen; and your heart went barmy." "You turned sixteen; and my heart went berserk." "The eyes of sixteen..." "and the chat of sixteen..." "Rather you've not turned sixteen;" "but you've turned into a spark!" "You turned sixteen; and my heart went berserk." "I turned sixteen; and your heart went barmy." "Temptation... my temptation..." "Temptation... my temptation..." "Temptation..." "Yeah... the temptation..." "No!" "You're telling a lie!" "I'm telling the truth, Kiran!" "He proposed me!" "Five years earlier he was just a normal guy!" "But today he loves me!" "Just me!" "No, Kiran!" "Why don't you understand?" "!" "Had he got true love for you..." "then why didn't he come to meet you?" "He did come!" "But my mom-dad didn't let me meet him!" "Mom-dad!" "True lovers never care for the mom-dad!" "They break the doors-windows and enter in!" "Karan!" "Karan's letter!" "'My love..." "My darling!" "'" "'Thank you." "Tonight, I'll restively wait for you at Disco 82." "Will you come?" "'" "Yeah!" " 'I knew it.'" "'But, if you don't come then I would consider that you don't love me!" "'" " No!" "'And yes..." "I hope you might have got all my kisses... ' '... that I conveyed through..." "I mean through the cheeks of Rekha.'" "Wait, wait for a minute..." " So, this was your move?" "!" "Kiran, you don't understand." "You snatching me while provoking me against my own love?" "!" "No, no!" "Kiran, just listen to me..." " I doubted you since beginning." "What are you doing?" " Get away!" "Hello!" "Sister Urmila, I'm Kiran here!" "Please come fast!" "My own sister has become my adversary in love!" "'Urmila!" "'" " Okay, sis!" "Please come fast!" "Kiran!" "Kiran!" "Kiran!" "C'mon, dear... sit in the car." "Today I'll get you married!" "Who the hell are you to get me married?" "!" "Are you mad?" "You yourself called me and you're asking 'Who am I?" "'" "I called you!" "?" " You're Kiran, isn't it?" "No!" "I'm Kiran's sister Rekha!" "Aren't you ashamed?" "!" "Snatching your own sister's love?" "!" "Which sister?" "!" "What sister?" "!" " Kiran!" "Didn't you yourself tell that you're Kiran's sister?" "!" "I'm Kiran's sister." "But, Kiran isn't my sister!" "You're her sister!" "But she isn't your sister?" "!" "Exactly!" "Kiran is not my sister!" "Are you drunk or what?" "!" "You're her sister and she isn't your sister!" "How can Kiran be my sister?" "!" "He's my brother!" "So, he's your bro..." "And, this is the reality of that Karan." "I hope you got it all?" "Yes, yes!" " Inspector, if you're able to stop Karan from coming to the disco then the job ahead will be easy for me." "Don't worry." "He won't talk about Kiran hereafter." "You're my Kiran!" "Your gaze is a spell..." "Shit!" "Yuck!" "He wears so filthy clothes!" "Fine." "This is okay." "Hey, dude!" "You're back!" "You spent so much on the bungalow..." "but why not on the clothes?" "You've entered my house and my bathroom and my clothes!" "What's the anger about?" "Boss, I've done such a thing for you that let alone the clothes you'll transfer your house in my name." "What thing?" "I've taken Kiran forever away from your life." "What are you talking about?" "!" "Boss... you said yourself that you wanted to get rid of Kiran hence I got you the riddance and I embarked on her track myself." "How can that be possible?" " It is, Boss." "In the next few days we're supposed to get married and I'll send you the invitation for it." "Don't do that!" "You know..." "I went to America and I realised that I can't live without Kiran." "Then you'll have to die." " Shut up!" "You'll have to die!" "If you even touch Kiran then I'll kill you!" "You piece of marble... are you playing catch-catch (Game) throwing at times and catching at some?" "!" "Just put it in mind..." "Kiran is mine!" "And that's final!" "You don't know my influence!" "I've a car, a bungalow and I've big goons in my pocket!" "What's there with you?" "!" " I've got a MU." "What's that?" "!" " Mumbai Police." " Mumbai Police!" "?" "Mumbai police!" " The damn got scared at the mention of police!" "Put a bullet in the head!" "Madam, you..." "In fact I was coming to you." "There's a big problem." "And, I badly need your help." "That's why I've come here." " How sweet!" "O' God!" "I won't go!" "I won't go!" "What are you saying, Dr. Screwwala?" "Have you noticed that since Inspector Urmila Matondkar is living with him, has any girl been a target of his?" "That proves my point." "That we are after the right man." "I will still say that Rahul cannot be the murderer." "Can you explain this to my wife?" "I had told you at that time that..." "that was an accident." " Accident?" "Yes." " That picture that was found in his room was that an accident too?" " Picture?" "Yes commissioner." "The picture of the 'Vastraharan' (rape) of Draupadi." "Since the last two days... since the last two days I am doing a research that what can be the connection of the picture and our murderer." "And today I have found that connection." "And that connection is..." "that connection is... this sari." "Sari?" "Draupadi's?" " No from Dadar Emporium." "Inspector, you will have to wear this sari and go in front of that murderer." " What?" "And as soon as he sees you in this sari, the 'Dushashan' (evil) inside him will come out." "Brilliant!" "No!" "I cannot do this!" "I am absolutely certain that he is innocent." "Officer!" "It's an order." "I refuse to listen to this order, sir." "You can take whatever action you want." "And about his logic then sir have you noticed one thing?" "Since the day we have appointed him till date no girl has been raped." "Think about it." "Hold on!" "Hold on Inspector Urmila Matondkar." "Remember one thing." "With a personality like Dr. Screwwala I don't have to rape any woman." "Remember that, okay." "And as far as you are concerned, chose any of the balls." "I knew it, I knew it, commissioner!" "She is in love." "Get lost!" " Oh!" "My balls!" "My balls!" "First that DK and then that Karan both of them made promises of love to me, and then broke them." "After all what do they think of me?" "Hey, my love, there is no bargaining in love." " DK!" "Kiran!" " You here?" " Wherever you will be, I will be there." "Kiran!" "Come back to my life, Kiran!" "Do you promise that you will never do that again?" "Yes." "I promise." " You will never leave me and go." "I will never go, darling." "In fact we both will go to America." "We will have a small cottage in America." "There will be a small garden outside the cottage." "In that garden, after a few years we will have 2-3 small, lovely..." "What?" " Mango trees will be there." "Naughty boy!" "Really?" " Really." "But how will we go?" "Below my father is roaming about with a naked sword." "That too... which is rusted!" "I don't care about the rusted sword of your father's." "So I will come tonight at 2 o'clock to take you." "Be ready." "You must surely come, I will be waiting for you." "Commissioner sir, I know, that boy is..." "I will call you later." "Rahul!" "How come you have come so early?" "I should be asking you this." "Didn't you go to look for a job?" "Yes..." "I got one..." " Really?" "There was an old job which I had left in between I joined that again." "Great news!" "Urmila!" "A gift for you on this occasion." "Gift?" " I have designed it myself, specially for you." "What is there in this?" " Why don't you see for yourself?" "Yes, but give it to me atleast." "Yes, I am sorry." "Sari. - 'You will have to wear this sari and go in front of that murderer." "'And as soon as he sees you in this sari the 'Dushashan' (evil) Inside him will come out." "'What if Screwwala was right?" "What should I do?" "'" "What are you thinking?" "Should I tell you the truth?" " Yes." "I..." "I want to do something with you." "What?" "I want to keep you in a temple and worship you all my life." "I am sorry Rahul." "Forgive me." " Forgive you?" "But why?" "Because I have to go from here." "You are going?" "Have I done something wrong with you?" "You have not done anything wrong with me." "That's why I have to go." " But what is the reason?" "I had thought that you..." "Urmila!" "Urmila!" "I do not know the reason why you are going." "But I know for sure that you will surely return." "And no priest has told me this, but my heart said it to me." "It has said the truth, isn't it?" "Yes." "'She has changed her guise and reached my home.'" "'She will never let me live happily.'" "Rahul!" " Karan, you?" "Why are looking so worried?" "My love is being snatched away from me, my friend." "That rascal DK has played a very big game." " What?" "First of all he has put the police behind me and secondly Kiran is not taking my call." "Then you go over to her house!" " How can I go?" "For one her father is there with a rusted sword..." "I don't know what to do?" "I have an idea." "Useless people, I don't know where they are." "Who are you people?" "You had said that they should not be caught!" "This man has not been caught till today." "But I had told for 5 people, you all are only four." "The last one has diabetes problem." " Okay." "Do you know what you have to do?" " What?" "You have to only bring Kiran to me." " Okay." "If anyone comes in your way, then put him to sleep." "Okay!" "Okay!" "Here's your money." "Now move go." "Hey listen, looks like a big catch pick the girl and take her to our den." "We will DK the remains." " Okay!" "Okay!" "Aunty!" "Aunty!" "Leave me!" " Leave her!" " Who are you people?" " Leave her." "What are you doing?" " Shanti!" "Let go of Shanti." "Help!" " Why don't you listen to me?" " Go and get the girl." "Help!" "Hey Bush!" "What are you doing?" "Sir, in the bush..." "Okay, go and help Osama." "In the bush..." "Oh God!" "Who are you?" "Hey Double B, go and see upstairs, what is happening?" " Yes." "Yes." "Hey Kiran!" "Kiran!" "Where are you taking Kiran?" "Leave her." " Let Kiran go." " Leave her." "Hey wait!" "Where is the other one?" " Where are you taking Kiran?" "He is upstairs, he is packing the clothes." "Hey Bush, you are also in league with Osama!" "No!" "No!" " Where are you taking her?" "Let her go!" "Stop!" "Someone stop them!" "Stop them!" "Quickly!" "Quickly!" "Well done, Bush." " Thank you DK." "DK?" " Rahul!" "Yes, Rahul." "And I will never you write your name on this design." " Means." "Means that her marriage is taking place with my dress in the Kali Temple." "Kali temple?" " If you have the guts, stop us and show." "What do you mean?" "I will kill you all." "Where are you running away?" "I will catch you all." "I will cut you all into pieces." "I will kill you all." "Aunty, control yourself, everything will be alright." "Look, I know where they have taken Kiran." " You?" "You come with me in the car, I will tell you everything." "Come, come with me, let's not waste time." "What had you said?" "When I wear the sari." " Yes." "He will pounce on me." " Yes." "I have worn the sari." " Yes." "Do you know what he said?" " No." "That he will take me to the temple." " Oh!" " And worship me." "Oh!" " He will pray to me." " Wow!" "Logic, Mr. Commissioner, there is a logic behind this too." "I'm sure he is a..." "is a religious killer." "You are my mother, father... murder." "You scoundrel!" "You get him treated from a good doctor." "It's enough." "Sir." " Yes, tell me constable." "And..." " Okay." "Block the roads all over." "And keep me informed." "Okay." "One more murder has taken place." "Near the temple." "And this time that lady had worn a sari." "But sir..." " Now what do you have to say, inspector Urmila Matondkar?" "You were challenging Dr. Screwwala's theories, his knowledge..." "Did you see?" "All this has happened because of you." "If you were with him for some more time, wearing a sari then his attack would not have been on a helpless woman but on a trained police officer." "Now you tell me, do I need treatment or you?" "But sir, this does not mean that..." "Enough, Urmila!" "There is no need to argue anymore." "Take the police unit immediately and keep an eye on that building." "Come on." "Come on." "Let it go." "Come on." "Hurry up!" "Come on." " Oh God!" " It is fine." "It is fine." "Let it go." "It seems that DK has great contacts." "But DK, your wall might be build of Ambuja cement also today, I will definitely break it." "I will definitely break it." "Hey!" "Hey!" "Get hold of him!" "Don't let him escape." "Hurry up!" "Sit in the car." "Follow him." "Come on." "Follow that scum." "Hey!" "Hey!" "Don't shoot." "I will be killed." "These police officers are killing another police officer in an encounter." "Hey!" "Come on, be quick." "Get down and run!" "Sir, the jeep is not starting." "Oh!" "These people give us such degraded vehicles and then they question us only that why do the police officers often come late in the climax?" "'How come it's become so late?" "'" "'The sun has already risen and he has not yet come.'" "Sir, I am telling you right now I don't know how to do marriages." "I am an expert in carrying out the final rites." " Hey!" "There is not much difference between the two." "Understood?" "You quietly go ahead and read it." "You took the garland from that corpse." "That's not a good thing." "Hey, priest!" "I will slap you." "You will be a dead man!" "Do as I say!" "No." "No." "No." "Karan!" " A ghost has arrived." "Let's go." "That is not a ghost." "It is my love." "Sit down." "Read the chants." "Rahul!" "You have gift wrapped her and brought!" "Nice!" "Sister-in-law had fallen down." "She had fainted." " What?" "Let all that be." "You hurry up!" "DK is coming behind us." "DK!" "Okay, come let's take the sacred rounds." "You come." "You come." "Who will fulfill the last rites?" " Last rites!" "Giving away!" "Giving away!" "He will only do the giving away ceremony." "You continue." "Read quickly." "What nonsense is he saying?" "He is gone crazy. - What is happening?" "We have arrived on time." "Karan!" "Karan!" "Wait!" "All this is wrong." "Please wait!" "Nothing is wrong." "If anyone will come between Kiran and me I will kill them." "Even I will kill everyone." "I am an expert in doing the final rites." "We will cremate them together." " Shut up!" "Hand over Kiran to me!" " Over to you." " Yes." "Kiran is my first love." "Get lost!" "Kiran is my love." "Hey!" "What is happening?" "You had said you were Kiran's friend." "Yes." "I am her friend too." "Hand over Kiran to me." "Now say what you want to say." "Karan, now you get married to her in front of him only." "No." "No, Karan." " Look, today don't come between us." "Let go of my hand." "Karan, don't do time pass." "Just put the vermilion on her forehead." " Today, Kiran will be mine." "Karan, what is this you are doing?" " Kiran!" "When I saw you, when I got friendly to you." "Get up!" "Hey!" "Whom have you brought?" "You were getting me married to him!" "Idiot!" "Kiran!" "Sister-in-law!" "Sister-in-law!" " Kiran!" "Kiran!" "Shall I do the final rites?" "Shut up!" "Kiran, thank God that you have come." "Wow!" "You have also brought the garland for our marriage." "Come on, let's go and get married." " Married!" "Whose marriage?" "Our wedding." " We have been married two hours ago." "We have only come to take blessings." " What sort of blessings?" "Leave her." "Run away!" " Bhabhi, come on." "I had brought someone else in your place." "Good you come." "Come on." "Come on." "Bhabhi?" "Who is Bhabhi?" "Whose Bhabhi?" " His Bhabhi." "Come on, let's go and get married." "Nobody will come in my way." "Understood!" "I will take Kiran to America." " Kiran!" "What are you doing?" "Leave my hand." "Karan, save Kiran!" " I am saving Kiran only." "Hey!" "Kiran is there." " Hey!" "Kiran is here." "Hey!" "I am not Kiran." "I am Naina." " Naina?" "Oh gosh!" "Karan, that one is Kiran, my brother!" "I know Kiran is your..." "Kiran is your brother?" "Yes." "That means..." " Come on, Naina." "Come on, quickly." "All those messages?" "I had sent all those messages and those kisses too." "You did not know that Kiran was a boy, isn't it?" "Then with whom did you do all that?" " What?" "One wild..." "One night stand." "What?" " Shall I tell her?" "Because of you, I kidnapped a boy today if my girlfriend comes to know?" "Now who is this my girlfriend." "My would-be sister-in-law." "By the way, you have checked everything else, isn't it?" "I am not like you to take such a big risk." "With open eyes, when I asked for someone's heart then I got a slap on my cheek." "And all this is because of you." "If in college, you had not spread the stories of your one night stand then you wouldn't have got a slap on your cheek." "Can I say something to you?" " Go ahead." "Will you be my time pass?" "What?" " For a lifetime." "Sex." "I mean yes." "So tell me, where should I leave you?" " Leave me to destiny." "Greetings!" "We have just got news from the police headquarters that after raping the women and killing them ruthlessly that serial killer has been identified." "This is the brutal murderer." "If you have any information about him then do not forget to inform the police headquarters." "Hello." "Who is speaking?" "Uma Shankar Tripathi." "Two rupees for a stone." "Two rupees for a stone." "Hey, stone vendor." "Take these two rupees." "And give me a big stone." "Just watch my aim." "Oh!" "Commissioner, just see." "He is not fond of only collecting the body parts of woman." "But he collects their clothes too." "There must be surely logic behind this." " There is." "This is my bag." "Oh!" "I am sorry." "Fix the camera in the front." "Cover from here." "Brother, what is going on?" "Is shooting going on over here?" "I don't know." "Everybody is looking up." "So even I am looking up." "It's a bank holiday, brother." "So even you look up." "Brother, that rascal who ahs killed five people stays over here only." " What?" "It must be surely the landlord." "Two rupees for a stone." "Two rupees for a stone." " Give me one too." "Give me one." " Give me one too." " Its very good stone." "The head will surely break." "Take it quickly." "Give me exact change." "Okay, I am coming." "I am giving it to you all." "He is the murderer." " Who?" " He is the murderer!" "He is the murderer!" "He is the murderer!" " Me!" "I have not done anything." "What have I done?" "I am innocent." "What are you all saying?" "I have not done anything." "He is the murderer. - What are you all saying?" "Catch him!" "He is the murderer!" "Battery." " Engine." " Battery." " Engine." " Battery." " Engine." "Rickshaw!" "Where has he gone?" "Where has he gone?" "Hey!" "He is there." "Catch him." "Stop!" "Stop!" "Stop!" "Please." "Please stop." "I am in trouble." "Waiting to pee." "What?" "How is this possible?" "Even I don't understand anything." "Rahul." "Rahul, come quickly." "Sit in the car." "Come on Sawant!" "Quickly." "The police will get hold of us." "What happened?" "All the petrol is exhausted." " You idiot!" "If I will know anything then I'll let you know, right?" "I myself am worried." "Urmila?" "In an inspector's uniform?" "Do you know her?" " Hey!" "She is the one who is going to be your future sister-in-law." "What?" " Madam." " Yes." "Come on." "Come outside." "Urmila, this..." " Say inspector Matondkar." " What is this?" "Sit down in the jeep." "Don't talk too much." "Come." "Come." "Come on." "Go and sit behind." "Wait!" "Wait!" "Wait!" "Wait!" "Madam, I am left behind." "Take me along." "Wait!" "Wait!" "Wait!" "Wait!" " What?" "Urmila has taken him?" "Good." "Very good." "And you as always come back empty handed." "Mr. Commissioner, what are you doing sir?" " Hold on." "Think about the logic, sir." "She is arrested in his love." "In stead of the police station, she will take him to the railway station and from there, they will both escape." "The train will run on all my efforts." "Constable." " Yes. - Follow Urmila." "Run!" "Take care of this." "It's a left hand drive." "Hold it like this." " Stop." "Stop." "But Urmila, I have not done any rape or I have..." " I know." "That's why I have come to take you from here." "We will have to escape from here." "But when we have not done anything wrong then why should we escape?" "Because everybody is suspicious about you." "Once we find the true culprit." "Listen commissioner, you either trust Screwwala or you don't trust Screwwala." " Screw..." "This Uma Shankar Tripathi is his own man." "And he is trying to misguide us." "But Dr. Screwwala for once..." " Sir." "Salutations!" "Salutations!" "Uma Shankar!" "He had called, isn't it?" "You all are retired." "You all don't remember." "You had said you know about the killer." " Yes, I know." "I will not tell you like that." "Then how will you tell us?" "Look, this is very hot news." "And I wish at such a time all the hot media people and the hot channel people all the hot radio channel people, all the hot press people." "All the people should be present." "Everyone has been called." " That everyone has come." "Yes." "Now will you tell us what do you know about the murderer?" "He used to live in a small village." "One day his father said an ordinary man's name can be popular only in two ways." "One is on the wedding card with the father's name and the second is after he dies in the prayer meeting." "That's it!" "Then he decided that he will make himself popular on the basis of his own efforts." "If you are certain that I am innocent then stop the car, Urmila." "When you are with me then I don't care about the world." "Nobody can do anything to me." "Nothing can happen to me." "Because you are my fate." "My destiny." "And now, let me test my destiny." "I don't know anything else." "How do I know so much about the murderer?" "Because I am the murderer." "Uma Shankar Tripathi!" "That's me." "He is showing us something." "It's empty." "I knew that you would not believe that I was involved in it." "That's why I have brought this hand." "Look at this." "Where has the finger gone?" "By the way, the finger is very dangerous." "Here..." "Here, it is." "Sir." "Sir." "Where have they gone?" "Yes sir." "He is in front of my eyes." "I will catch him." " What?" "Why did they all turn back?" "The priest had said the right thing that you came and my destiny took a turn." "I knew that he was committing all those murders just for recognition!" "And I snatched that very thing from him!" "I blamed someone else for all that!" "I got big posters of that man printed and got them pasted all over the city and the killer wasn't able to bear it!" "And... as I told Mr. Commissioner that killer... has come all the way and is here to surrender himself." "Right, Commissioner?" "Right." "Thank you." "Next question please." "Who else was involved with you in this mission?" "Nice question." "Madam, to solve any case Dr. Screwwala doesn't need anybody's of course I need." "And this that bold and brave Inspector Urmila Matondkar!" "Sir, where's the boy whose posters you got pasted in the whole city?" "He was a social worker." "He worked for the society." "And went back to the society." "No, sir." "He's very much with us." "Over here." "Mr. Commissioner... the time's up... please..." "Yeah, yeah." "So now we present that deadly killer Uma Shankar Tripathi!" "Hail the Lord!" "Excuse me!" "Please!" "Why has the band been ordered for Uma Shankar?" "It has to be, sir." " But why?" "He might become a minister some day." "Sir, tell us... what was the motive behind all the killings?" "There was no motive... it's just that they were all frail!" "No, no..." "Objective?" "What was the objective?" "The objective was to make a career in politics." "It's very much crystal clear." "You need an MCOM certificate to become a peon and for politics you need a criminal record." "And, my criminal record is very much ready." " But, the Commissioner was saying that the motive behind the killings was sex?" "The commissioner's gone mad!" "Will you listen to all that he says?" "!" " Yes." "I can buy this from anywhere!" "Will you believe it?" "I said the same thing to him." " You said the same thing?" " Yeah." "You seem to be from my village." "Brother you too ask a question." "I'm really enjoying it!" "You rascal!" "The rooster does all the hard-work and the beggar eats the egg?" "!" "I did all those killings and you're getting the credit?" "!" "He's not a criminal!" "I'm the criminal!" "Bastards!" "I'll commit one more crime!" "I'll definitely kill someone!" "I don't know him!" "Listen... the whole world wants to listen to you." "But, I have never seen him." "Never" "Why have you come to me?" "I don't know anything... why have they brought me here?" "I simply have a Laundy (Meaning-'Girls.' But wants to say 'Laundry') business." "You trade in girls?" "!" "Why didn't you tell that earlier?" "I would have benefited a lot." " No problem." "We'll be together in the jail..." "I'll start that business in the jail as well there's great profit in it." " Long live, my friend!" "Tell us... for the sake of this job why did you risk your life?" "I just never knew that my life..." "yeah yeah..." "I knew that my life was in risk but the thing is I did all this for my for my love." "Sir..." "Shall we go home?" " But, I won't enter the house from the backyard." "Now you've come... so, I'll march much ahead in life." "But, you'll have to come to my house... with the band will you come?" "Yes." " When?" "Sis-in-law, don't scare me... or else I won't tell stories to your kids." "Man, you got that thing of your destiny..." " The dot." "I know it." "And, you too got that thing of your destiny..." " Rekha (line)." "We've have done many a great things in life so go ahead and click our photos." "C'mon, start with your tune!" "We're so cool!" "We're so cool!" "We're so cool!" "We're so cool!" "We're so different!" "O people, take a look at us!" "Look at us... do look at us." "We're so cool!" "We're so cool!" "We're so cool!" "We're so cool!" "We did a lot many absurdities." "Nothing's intricate for us!" "We did a lot many absurdities." "Nothing's intricate for us!" "Our steps are such... the destinations kiss them." "Touch and feel us..." "we're hot even in the chill!" "We're so cool!" "We're so cool!" "We're so cool!" "Agreed... that we're a bit amorous." "But, man, we're one in millions!" "Agreed... that we're a bit amorous." "But, man, we're one in millions!" "We're here as a Romeo..." "and we swear by Juliet." "Love is our weak point; it's true, dear!" "We're so different!" "O people, take a look at us!" "Look at us... do look at us." "Look at us... do look at us." "We're so cool!" "We're so cool!" "We're so cool!" "We're so cool!" "We're so cool!" "We're so cool!" "We're so cool!" "We're so cool!"