"Theyactually payyou forthis, totag beaver?" "Imagine." "Wasthat, like, sarcastic?" "'Cause I knowwhatyou Fish and Game guysthink ofcountysheriffs." "We knowyou liketo givethese one-word, sarcastic answers." "Gee." "You askme, whatan animal does in thewild is his own business." "So long as he doesn'tdo itto man." "I think MarkTwain said that." "Yeah, I think he didn't." "butsinceyou said it, I guesswe're covered." "Everyone's a comedian, sarcastic." "# I'm sleepin'#" "#And right in the middle ofa good dream #" "#And all atonce I wake up#" "# From somethingthat keeps knocking atmy brain #" "# Before I go insane#" "# I hold my pillow to my head...# [squeaking]" "Aah!" "Aah!" "#Sowhatam I so afraid of?" ". #" "# I'm afraid that I'm notsure of...# [gurgling] Help!" "[gurgling]" "# I think I loveyou #" "# Isn'tthatwhat life is made of?" ". #" "#Though itworries...#" "Aah ha!" "Ohh!" "Ohh!" "No!" "Aah!" "Aah!" "Aah!" "[growling]" "Ohh!" "Don't letgo!" "Oh ho ho!" "Aah!" "Aw,Jesus Christ." "[siren]" "[horns honking]" "Kelly?" "Hey, Kevin." "Hi." "Listen, uh, could I stealyou fora minute?" "[panting]" "Whatareyou doing?" "Heavy breathing, meditating." "Meditating?" "Yes.To relieve stress." "Remember, Myra, you'rethe one whotaughtme all about breathing." "Yes, butyou're doing Lamaze." "areyou giving birth?" "Ifyou're upset, long, deep breaths." "[inhales, exhales] [exhales]" "Kevin dumped me." "I know." "Hetoldyou?" "Well, I sortofhad, uh, inside information." "You?" "Itstarted beforeyou, Kelly." "I neverwould have" "You?" "Itwasjusta quickthing thatwethoughtwas over, and...it's notover." "You and Kevin." "I--I wish I could saysomethingto... the heartwants whatthe heartwants." "SheriffKeough?" "Yeah." "Fish and Game." "JackWells." "Any recent bearattacks?" "Thiswas no bear." "Bears don'tattack people underwater." "Probablya beaver,then." "Ah, a whole sentence sarcastic." "Thattheway he came outofthewater?" "Yeah." "Hey." "Hey, Kevin,what's going on?" "What's happening?" "How's itgoin'?" "How'syourfamily?" "Good?" "It's great." "So niceto seeyou." "Fuckoff." "This is business." "Therewas an accident in Maine." "Some guygot killed bysomething in a lake." "Probablya bear, buttheyfound a tooth." "Atooth?" "Afragmentofa tooth, onetheysaycouldn't have comefrom any bear." "Evidently it looks prehistoric, like maybe a dinosaur." "Oh,well,then I'm sure thatthat'swhat itwas." "Hewas killed bya dinosaur." "Isthere anything else?" "I, uh,wantyou to gothere." "What?" "It's probably nothing, butyou're a paleontologist." "This iswhatwe do." "Whatdoyou mean, this iswhatwe do?" "I'd likeyou to checkoutthistooth." "I'm nota field person." "Well, on this one, I would likeyou to be." "You wantmeto goto Maine to lookata tooth?" "Oh,thiswas Myra's idea,wasn't it?" " Uh" "Oh, ofcourse." "Getme outofthe office fora fewdays, waittill I cool off..." "It has nothing to dowith that." "I don'tdofield work, and even ifI did, Maine?" "I'm allergictotimber." " Kelly." " I am notgoingto Maine." "I'm notgoing to Maine." "It's ridiculous." "It's gonna be rough aswe go over these mountains." "Yeah,that'sfine." "Thankyou." "We're doing the bestwe can." "Couldyou not talkto me?" "Thankyou." "Keough:" "Justcame up screaming." "Kelly:" "Whatdid he say?" "Just kind ofgurgled." "Hewas prettymuch dead." "You didn'tsee anything?" "The lakewas calm until up he came." "Thetooth is in here." "Oh,that's-- that'sthe morgue." "Yes." "Well, isthe dead guy in there?" "That'swherethey keepthem." "Look... you wantmeto bring thetooth out here?" "No." "No." "Let's..." "Afteryou." "[doorcloses]" "This is reptilian." "And this is nota fossil." "You really pulled this outofthis guy?" "Yes, I did." "I'll need to get a microscopic lookat it." "Thereyou go." "Great." "Maybe I should see" "I wouldn't." "I can deal with dead men--bodies." "Ohh." "Uhh." "Ohh,jeez." "How long did this attack go on for?" "Seconds." "8 maybe 10." "Oh, and, uh,this is how he came uptothe boat?" "Yes." "Uh-huh." "I'd like to seethis lake." "Keough:" "Nobody lives within 25 miles ofit, exceptsome old couple who live righton the lake." "Teenagerstrek in everyonce in a while to skinny-dip." "None have disappeared." "None have spotted anything unusual." "Didyou talk tothe old couple?" "Notyet." "What kind ofbackup dowe have?" "We?" "What?" "I'm a little unclear astowhythe museum would send somebody here." "You gota thing againstmuseums?" "No, I got nothing againstmuseums." "Ever been in one?" "What isthat?" "Lightweightforward-area air-device unit." "Whatever's outthere, one shotwith this, it's dead." "Whyexactly wouldyou havethat?" "[buzzing]" "God." "Mosquitoes." "I gota thing aboutmosquitoes." "Ifyou're all set, let's go." "We're saved." "Amuseum in NewYork justsent us some additional backup." "KellyScott." "JackWells." "Hi." "Uh, some museum sentyou, huh?" "What, arewe all museum bigots in Maine?" "She's rude sarcastic." "You two should getalong." "I'm afraid I can't letyou gowith us, ma'am." "SheriffKeough said I could." "Unfortunately, Fish and Game supersedesthe sheriff." "Whydoyou haveto supersede?" "Maybe I might be of" "Ma'am, look, this isn'tsome kind of fact-finding expedition." "Yes, I knowthat." "It's nota sciencetrip." "Couldyou be a little more condescending?" "'Cause I'm not real great with subtlety." "Something in that lake killed somebody, right?" "I appreciate you'retryingto help." "I'm reallyglad thatyou broughtthe raid." "Now,that's better." "Ma'am, it's notgonna work" "Ifyou call me "ma'am" one moretime, I'll sueyou, and with today's laws, it's possible." "She's good." "Look, I won't interfere." "And ifI do,you've got a sheriffhandyto arrestme, but I understand ifI threaten your Fish and Game authority" "Excuse me." "Is ittrue you're goingto look forsome kind ofmonster in Black Lake?" "Well,we'rejustgonna investigate an accident." "There's no monster." "We heard a man was bit in half." "Well, therewas an accident." "That's all." "It's nothingtoworryabout." "Oh, please." "All right." "Let's go." "Well, my husband passed away." "It's been almost 2years now." "Mydepartmentdoesn't have any record ofthat," "Mrs. Bickerman." "Well, I'm sorry." "Incomplete records hauntme so." "Whatwasthe cause ofyour husband's death, ma'am, doyou know?" "We don'tmean to invadeyour privacy, butwas he ill?" "Was he sick?" "Was he swallowed?" "[whispers] Sheriff!" "." "Uh, Mrs. Bickerman, the reason we're here." "Aman wasfatally attackedyesterday bysome animal in this lake." "Doyou know howyour husband died?" "Oh,yes." "I killed him." "You killed him?" "Oh,yes." "Wells:" "Uh... and howwouldyou have accomplished this, ma'am?" "Well..." "Hewasverysick, and--and he refused to goto a doctor." "He'd be coherentone day and incoherentthe next." "And,well, one coherentday he asked meto end his suffering." "And, um... he kept insisting and insisting and then,well, finally Ijustgave in, and I hit him on the head with a skillet," "then buried him outatthe bulkhead." "Well, dig him up ifyou don't believe me," "Sherlock." "Keough:" "Halfmile up there's a clearing." "What'swith thewater?" "It's so black." "There's nowaves oranything." "Well,theywanted to call it "Lake Placid,"" "butsomebodysaid that namewastaken." "It'stoo bad." "Tentswere sent ahead." "Theyshould already be set up bythetime we getthere." "Tents?" "We're staying in tents?" "I toldyou, 2 days we'd haveto camp." "Yes, camp, but I thoughtthatmeant "Ramada Inn."" "I never heard tents." "Will there betoilets?" "Maybewe should justtakeyou back." "Why, because I prefera toilet?" "Oh, God." "Weforgotto pack feminine napkins." "Oh, soyou're with him now?" "Taking his side." "I didn't saya word." "Oh, no, maybe I should justwipe myself with some leafy little piece ofpoison oak." "And then I could spend thewhole day scratching myass, blending in with the natives." "Thenyou'd be back on myside." "You know,you really don't haveto bother telling people you'refrom NewYork." "Whatthe hell isthat?" "What?" "There." "I thought I sawsomething." "Kelly:" "Looks like a branch." "Oh, myGod." "Aah!" "Aah!" "Hey." "You threw itatme!" "Ijust letgo ofit." "You threw itatme!" "Didyou seethat?" "Oh!" "Ma'am!" "Stop hitting me." "Don'tthrow heads atme!" "Stop calling me "ma'am!"" "Aw,Jesus." "Oh, God." "So, sheriff... howmanydeputiesyou got?" "What?" "Could it be a bear?" "I mean,the bears get big here, right?" "Hmm." "I don'tthinka bear could bite offa moose's head." "Everythingyou need should be in there." "Ok." "Good." "Good." "Sowill we be tent-matesthen?" "Nope." "This is allyours." "Ohh." "Great." "Excellent." "Ifthere's anything else you need..." "Uh, onething I wanted to askyou." "Uh,what's it like to be a woman in thewoods ofMaine?" "I mean,the guys don'tturn all hornyoranything liketheydid in Dellverance, right?" "Oh." "I knewyou werethere." "Hmm." "Never been to Maine before, huh?" "I have good hygiene." "I'm notwelcome." "Whyareyou here, really?" "I toldyou." "Amuseum doesn'tsend an investigator intothewoods" "Howwouldyou know whata museum would orwould notdo exactly?" "Well, even iftheydid," "I doubtwhether he orshe would have problemswith tents." "So I don't liketents." "Why" "Oh,you don't liketents, andyou don't like mosquitoes." "Well, nobody likes mosquit" "Lookat yourfingernails." "What'swrong with myfingernails?" "You have as much business being in thewoods as Emily Post." "No, itdoesn'tmake sense." "Theysentyou out here to examine a tooth." "And whatareyou doing out here on the lake?" "Oh, no." "What?" "Ifthis is who I think it is..." "It is." "Who?" "HectorCyr." "He'sthis rich, kook mythology professor." "You know him?" "He's done somework with ourmuseum." "He alsotrekstheworld to s..." "What?" "To swim with crocodiles." "Crocodiles?" "Ifhe's here," "he mustthink you've gotone." "Oh, look..." "I admit I'm no brain scientist, but I do knowthere's nowaya crocodile can be in Maine, right?" "You beatme!" "Balls!" "Splendid lake, eh?" "Became a man on a lake likethis." "Rubber raft." "Sylvia Blake." "She gave a like a cow." "Who dowe have from Fish and Game?" "Me." "Who isthis man?" "I can seethe algae blooms justcoming in." "Lookalmoststagnant." "HectorCyr." "Oh,the earth is round and so shouldyou be." "Who is he?" "I need topographic studies." "You gotany?" "You don'tjustfly in here and start barking orders." "I apologize." "Ijustdon't wantto losethe light when we gottime fora quickscout." "Haveyou had a littleworkdone?" "I have not." "Who areyou?" "HectorCyr." "I said itonce." "Letme know when itsinks in, ok?" "Haveyou seen it?" "No." "Excuse me." "You came hereto... helpyou find it." "Acrocodile?" "Yeah." "They've been migrating north, you know?" "This lake does connect tothe ocean." "It's notasfarfetched as itmaysound." "Crocodiles can'tswim in saltwater." "Yeah,well,that'll be your little secret." "Come on." "We're losingtime." "Whydid the big one heckle me?" "Hey, pal..." "Ifhe's close, we'll find him." "Theirsignatures are unmistakable." "Shetellyou thatwe had sextogether?" "Sovigorous!" "I never had sex withyou." "Whew." "I'm horrible in bed." "They never remember." "God." "Wait." "Stop!" "[pinging] [pinging stops]" "Thought I heard something." "I don'tmean to be discourteous," "but, uh, how is it a person could come to believe a crocodile is in New England?" "Howcould it survivewinter?" "Long astheir nostrils don'tfreeze, theysurvive." "Am I foolish to explain things?" "He had such trouble with my name." " Hector." " Hey." "Isthis where it happened?" "Around here." "Yeah." "We're a milefrom the ocean." "Could've easilymade it here." "Kelly:" "Assuming he got thisfar upthe seaboard." "[sonar pinging]" "The big ones have been on the move." "What have I been tellingyou?" "You call me crazy." "Kelly:" "Hector,just paddle." "You know, Sheriff, when friends orfamily saythings, theytend notto register, so sometimes it helps to hear it from a total stranger." "You'refat." "Jesus." "Hector!" "Oh,yeah." "Kelly:" "What'sthat?" "What is it?" "White perch." "Aretheyfeeding?" "Theyaren'tfeeding." "They're scared." "Aah!" "Aah!" "Wells:" "Jesus!" "Cyr:" "Oh!" "Oh!" "Getyour legs outofthewater." "Don'tmove your legs." "Keough:" "Areyou kidding me?" "Cyr:" "Keepyour legs still." "Getoff!" "." "Hector, tothe left." "Move it left!" "Paddle, paddle!" "No one actuallysaw anything." "Yes, I realizethat, sir, butsomething flipped us over, and I doubtverymuch ifitwas a mink." "I am a paleontologist." "I workfor a natural historymuseum." "I am notsome" "Theydon't believe her." "Thankyou." "It's so rewardingto imagine mytax dollar finding itswaytoyou, you fuck-shit!" "You're a saucyflirt." "You were right." "U.S.Wildlife won'tsend anybody without a confirmation." "We don't need 'em." "Sheriff." "Yeah?" "Mightwanna come take a lookatthis." "Oh, myGod." "Worms." "Oh, I gota thing aboutworms." "It's a human toe." "Some decomposition, a little acidic-- definitely been swallowed." "Isthisthe man whowas killed?" "He seemed taller." "Phew." "You gota croc, all right." "They're a keystone species." "Did hejust explain something?" "Keystone species effects thewhole ecosystem." "Thatwould explain theseworms and those perch." "We gota crocodile." "Here'syourfriend." "[bird warbles] [music swells]" "TomJones:" "# It's not unusual #" "#To be loved byanyone# [noisyconversation and laughter]" "# It's not unusual #" "#To havefun with anyone#" "# Butwhen I seeyou hangin' around #" "#With anyone#" "# It's not unusual...#" "He paid us." "500." "It's a trap." "You accepted money from him?" "Wetooka check." "#When I seeyou outand about#" "Lawenforcement isverydangerouswork, isn't it?" "Andyou have such big,wonderful boobs." "Ha ha.Thankyou." "# It's not unusual #" "# It happens everyday#" "Hey!" " Hey!" " Hey!" " Hey!" "You're on official business." "This is not a party." "Yeah, but now thatyou're here..." "Whoo!" "Yeah!" "Quiet!" "[turns music off]" "What'swith digging the holes?" "Well, crocodiles are-- arevery brazen." "They liketo come on land, and ofcourse they're attracted to noise." "Everybodyout!" "Backtoyourtents!" "Now!" "Oh, could she stay?" "Wewere... wewere hopingto mate." "No." "Out." "Now,you listen... [sighs]" "Ifitwere upto me, you'd be onyourway home." "But I'm not in charge." "That's a shockerthere." "I'm goingto saythis because I believe in being straightwith people." "I thinkyou are a mental." "Sheriff..." "I appreciateyourcandor." "Really, I do." "I think it's always good to know where somebody's comingfrom," "and,frankly, yourorigins have been a bitofa mysteryto me." "[crickets chirping]" "Look howflat thatwater is." "You could get 10 skips on a good one, easy." "Sorry?" "Skipping stones." "Growing up," "I used to summer atmygrandparents' place on a lake likethis." "I'd skip stones all day." "Beat playing with the other kids." "I'm sure itdid." "Look, I think it's best ifyou stayed onshore a while." "I begyour pardon?" "I'm nottrying to picka fight, butwhatever's outthere did flip a canoe." "I am not staying onshore." "It's dangerous." "No, I didn'tfly up here justto roastmarshmallows." "Whydidyou fly up here?" "Look... paleontologists are not sentto Maine to huntforcrocodiles." "I was sent up here to lookatthetooth." "You looked atthetooth." "Whatareyou doing out here?" "I was dating my boss... and heturned outto be involved with a coworker whowas also myfriend." "And forthe sake ofcomfort--theirs" "I was shipped off to Maine." "And I don'tfeel like going backyet." "I'm notmaking it up." "Still,you don't haveto stayout here." "I mean, you can stay in town." "I've come." "I'm here." "I'm staying... unlessthere areticks." "I knowcrocodiles." "And I won't get inyourway." "Ijust reallydowant to be a partofthis." "7:00A.M.?" "Thankyou." "Good night." "Thankyou." "[urinating]" "[twig snaps] [leaves rustling]" "[stops urinating] [rustling]" "[cocks hammer]" "Jesusfucking Christ!" "Ohh.Whatthe hell areyou doing?" "Whatthe hell areyou doing?" "!" "Oh,Jesus." "You clowning around?" "I'm laying a springtrap!" "Aspringtrap?" "I keeptellingyou theycan come on land." "I could've shotyou." "This could end up savingyour life, which is meaningful foryou, becausethe more you live, the more sexyou getto havewithyoursister!" "What's going on?" "He's crawling around like a cockroach here." "I don'tcare howmuch money" "He'swaving his littlewang around!" "He's scaringthe shit outofme!" "How big isthis?" "All right, all right!" "I'll saythis once." "Yourfancyequipment aside, which we appreciate-- ifyou interfere, you're gone." "Simple asthat." "Howmuch ofa wacko isthis guy?" "Well... thething about Hector" "is hetakesthis crocodile businessvery..." "Oh, man." "Hethinksthey're godly." "Whatwasthat?" "In his defense, every primitive culture known to man deified them." "AncientChina, Egypt, Australia,Asia." "Going back in history, crocodiles have been moreworshipped thanJesus." "Isthis supposed to make us take him more seriously?" "No, it's supposed to makeyou understand him." "He's a mythology professor." "He believes thatthey're divine conduits." "And he can find them, sowe should try to put upwith him." "He's a fruitcake." "We should get some sleep." "Yeah." "Aah!" "Damn it!" "And he's a good trapper." "[squawking noise]" "We can expect a quick response ifhe hearsthat." "Adultcrocswill move on distressed hatchlings." "Again, I don'tmean to be annoying with myquestions but if it is a crocodile," "which I don'tthink it is, and theydo chargethese baby hatchling sounds, whywouldyou wantto be underwateratthetime?" "Withyou, itmakes sense." "You see, Sheriff, thething is, theydon't really attack underwater." "ThatWaltguy got hit underwater." "True.Theydon'tsee thatwell underwater." "They have nictitating lenses on theireyes..." "Burke, stop here." " Now?" "Yeah." "...You dive underwater and they probablywon't be ableto seeyou." "Wells:" "I hateto interrupt butwe gotworkto do." "Hey,we can talk ifwewant." "Yeah,we can talk ifwewant." "Wouldyou mind putting down the anchor?" "Waittill we're down there beforeyou turn thatthing on." "Got it." "Let's go, Hector." "Good luck." "I broughta porkchop for luck." "Maybeyou can hang it aroundyou neck." "That's sweet." "Maybe lateryou can chewthe bark offmy big,fat log." "Wasthat, like, a homosexual remark?" "Don'taskme." "[squawking noises]" "Could be a mental." "I heard ifa mental person is rich enough," "theyjustcall him eccentric." "He's notmental." "He's seen everycrocodile in theworld." "He even swam in the Grametti with killer Niles." "He nevergot nipped." "And that'swhy hethinks they're godly" "'Causetheydon't bite him?" "I don't know." "He said he knew itwhen he looked in theireyes." ""Eyes ofa Dragon."" "So much forcrocodiles." "It's probablyon land." "Yeah, right." "Whatwasthat?" "I don't know." "Aah!" "Shit." "Hey!" "Something's got the anchor line!" "Untie it!" "Untiethe line!" "I'm trying!" "Keough:" "Hurry!" "Cutthe line!" "Right!" "Keough:" "Shit!" "[engine stalling] come on." "What happened?" "I don't know." "[engine stalling]" "Hurry." "Hurry up." "[stalling]" "Must'vejust letgo." "Come on." "Shit!" "Hurry!" "Hank!" "[stalling]" "Ok!" "Oh!" "Hurry!" "Hurry." "MyGod, it's right underyou!" "Aah!" "Oh, Christ." "Come on, get in the boat." "You all right?" "Yeah." "Where's Hector?" "[grunts]" "I losttrack." "Wewentdifferent directions." "There's some bubbles overthere." "Pull it up." "All right." "Come on." "Bring him aboard." "Hector:" "What's happened?" "Come on." "You see it?" "How big is it?" "Shut up and geton board." "We losttrackofit." "Burke, pull upthe speaker!" "Areyou all right?" "[squawking noises] [screaming]" "Grab him!" "Aah!" "Pull him in!" "Pull him in!" "Aah!" "Aah!" "That it?" "Yeah." "Nobodyactuallysaw it." "It happened suddenly." "Didn'tgetcaught in the outboard?" "Itwasn'tthe outboard." "Tell them to get herefast, huh?" "You ok?" "Kelly?" "Yeah." "Nobodysawanything." "No." "U.S.Wildlife's on theirway." "The policewantto keep everything quiet sothe press doesn't getwind ofanything." "Everybodyjustwants us to..." ""Sittight."" "Areyou...ok?" "Well... you know..." "Yeah." "Well, Sheriff, I'm, uh..." "Verysorry aboutyourdeputy." "Hewas a good man?" "Yep." "Wheneversomebodydies, I..." "I alwaysthink that it's such a waste that I didn't knowthem any better." "Sorryforyour loss, Hector." "Not reallywhat I meant." "Head wasjust... bitten off." "You know, I used to have a recurring nightmare that I was headless." "I'd be down on the ground looking up atmy body, no head," "justwalking around bumping into everything." "And my parents... wouldn't letme in the house." "Becausetheyjust bought all these antique lamps, and theydidn'twantme to knockthem over, thefuckers." "Then the neighborhood bullies, they'd see my round head on the ground looking like a ball, and they'd come over, and they'd start a soccergame." "And as I was being kicked around," "I'd actually justfeel grateful for being allowed in the game." "Whatare-- whatareyourthoughts?" "You know, Hector..." "I'm sure you're a fine person inyourown mental way," "but I think itwould be best ifyou and I didn'tspeak." "Yaaah!" "When is U.S.Wildlife getting here?" "I'm still waiting to confirm ifthey..." "Oh,Jesus." "I--I could probably cut him down, butthere'sthis odd lookofmayhem on his upside-down face." "Hank." "Yes?" "Areyou all right?" "Couldyou cutme down?" "Doyou promise thatyou won'tattempt to injure me?" "I have no interest in ever looking atyou, Hector." "Ok." "Just, uh, pull him down." "It's a counterweight." "Here." "I'll getthe knife." "IfI'd remembered itwasthere," "I neverwould've let you walkthatway." "All right." "It's over." "It's over." "Remember?" "You promised notto hurt him, so..." "I lied." "Wait." "Hey!" "Hey!" "Come on!" "Hold up!" "Nowhereto go, myfriend." "Now,just--come on!" "Knock itoff!" "." "Knock itoff." "Putthatdown." "Justsettle... [roaring]" "Jesus!" "Lookout!" "Whoa!" "[roaring]" "Aw, shit!" "[groaning]" "Ok." "I admit it." "It's a crocodile." "Kelly:" "He's an Indo-Pacific." "Scaleswere oval." "He's an Asian crocodile." "Whywould he come here?" "It's impossible." "Asia." "Howwould he get here?" "Obviouslysome asshole in Hong Kong flushed him down thetoilet." "Hewas 30feet, right?" "Had to be." "Well, nowmaybe somebody's happy I broughtmy big gun." "Ohyou're gonna blow him away now?" "I should thinkso." "Withyourcannon?" "Right." "What, I shouldn't?" "Well, he's a miracle ofnature, but I know he'sveryscary." "You'rethe miracle ofnature." "Guys, guys, easy." "We're notgonna do anythingtonight." "I never heard ofa crocodile crossing an ocean." "Well,theyconceal information likethat in books." "All right, pal!" "Hey, hey, hey." "No, no." "Let him go." "I'm sick ofhim,too." "I do need towarn you, Sheriff." "Thething about being rich, my parents did have the added luxury ofditching me off at karate school on a regular basis, so I am a brown belt." "Go ahead." "Takeyour bestshot." "Ohh!" "Hank!" "He said he knew karate." "You hit him." "I did,yeah." "Here." "Did he say "go"?" "Aren'tyou supposed to say "go" in karate?" "You're supposed to say "go."" "Hank,just keepyour distancefrom him." "Gotoyourtent." "Cool down." "He doesn'tanswer myquestions?" "Whydon'tyou answermyquestions?" "I fall into a hole." "I go up in a tree." "I swearto God, I'll say "go."" "You bow, and thenyou say "go."" "As in "gofuckyourself."" "Jesus.They'rejust like children." "Yeah." "Oh, myGod." "Areyou all right?" "Yeah, I'm all right." "I've gotsomething forthat." "I can fixthat." "Yeah?" "Yeah." "Ohh!" "Ijustgotta pull it a littletighter." "Therewe go." "Whotaughtyou to be a nurse?" "Father's a surgeon." "I can even stitch in a pinch, which probablywouldn't be such a bad idea." "Uh, no,thanks." "Ok." "You should have seen the lookonyourface when thatcrocjumped out." "Uh-huh." "You seethe look on the bear?" "Thatwasthe look." "I don't know." "The laws ofnature could be changing,Jack." "Thatthing outthere, that's" "You're havingthe besttime ofyour life, aren'tyou?" "What?" "What?" "People have been killed." "I hardlythink I'm having a good time." "Whywouldyou" "Does itshow?" "This isthefirsttime I've everactually... you know, been in the middle ofanything." "Isthatwhyyou're here, to get in the middle ofsomething?" "Maybe." "I've always read aboutwhat's happened." "I've never..." "We should goto bed." "I mean we should goto, uh... rest." "We should goto our separatetents, and--here-- getsome--go." "I got it." "Thanksforthe bandage." "Night." "Yeah." "Cyr:" "Itdoesn'teven see him." "There, he got it." "He has one natural enemy." "Onlyone." "Man?" "Man." "Soyou're the big expert." "You thinkours is some kind ofmutantor" "Not necessarily." "There's a 30-footer in India." "Biggestone ever killed on record was 27feet." "Sowhy is he here?" "Honestly..." "I don't know." "Keepyoureyes peeled." "You know howfast thesethings can be." "I've gotticks, I know it." "They'rejust so drawn to me." "I gota thing aboutticks." "Crawling upyour pant leg." "Puttheir heads underyourskin." "Look." "What?" "Jack." "That's a pretty big print." "Gare:" "Seems like we're getting lower." "That'swhat happens when I land." "Whyarewe landing?" "Becausethis isthe cove that he obviously lives in." "Sowhyarewe landing?" "Hector!" "We can lift it?" "Maybe." "Don'twant to mush itthere." "I'm notmushing it." "You mightmush it." "It's a little soft." "ForChrist's sake, I'm notmushing it!" "Aah!" "Aah!" "Aah!" "Aah!" "Oh, God." "Ok." "That is it!" "That is it!" "No, no, I keep getting hitwith heads!" "Tryto calm down." "You calm down!" "Calm down, ok?" "Just keep breathing." "I'm beingverycalm!" "I am composed!" "This isthe second time" "I've been hit with a severed head, and it upsets me!" "Whatthe hell?" "Aah!" "I..." "Ijustwantto go back to mytent now." "Can we please go back?" "You gotta be kidding." "I'm not kidding!" "Look." "#The itsy-bitsyspider#" "#Crawled upthewaterspout#" "# Down comesthe rain #" "#Towash the spiderout#" "Kelly:" "What is she doing?" "# Dum de dum de dum #" "Kelly:" "Oh." "Keough:" "What?" "Look 10feet intothewater." "[crocodile growls] [moo]" "Come and get it!" "[moo] [moo]" "Wow." "Disgusting." "I haven't broken any laws." "Oh, butyou have, ma'am." "You lied to us." "Thatcan be obstruction ofjustice." "Aman has been killed, in part because ofyoursilence." "I could make out a charge ofreckless endangerment." "And I'm sure PETA would be annoyed at howyou treat yourcows." "The reason I lied, ifI toldyou thetruth, you'd hunt itdown and kill it, which seemsto be exactly whatyou'retryingto do." "How long haveyou been feedingthisthing?" "6years." "6years?" "Well, Bernie was outfishing, and itfollowed him home." "Sowethrew it some scraps, and,well, he didn't seem to botheranybody." "He became kind oflike a pet who lives in thewild." "Hejustappeared?" "You have no idea how he arrived here?" "No." "Doyou?" "Your husband Bernie, you didn't, byanychance," "lead him tothe lake blindfolded?" "IfI had a dick, this iswhere I'd tellyou to suck it." "Did the crocodile killyour husband?" "Yes, but itwas all... itwas a mistake." "Amistake?" "One ofour horses got loose 2years ago." "Wenttothe lake to drink, and the crocodile started coming in, and Berniewent to intercede, and-- lfl'd reported it, they'd have sent people to kill it." "Ma'am, howcouldyou not reportthis?" "It puts human life at risk." "Nobody lives on this lake." "It's really his lake now." "Come on, Hector." "I knowyou're crazy, butyou can'tdothis." "I need to see his habitat up close, DeputyGare." "then watch Nova, ok?" "Butdon'tgo in thewater." "Please." "I'll have sex withyou." "Let'sjust getoutofhere." "Darling, he's notgonna hurtme." "Don't." "Hector!" "Murders and rapes in the cities." "People bomb planes." "Can the police stopthem?" "No." "Butfeed one little cow to a crocodile" "You stay right here until the police show." "You're under full house arrest." "Thankyou..." "Officer Fuckmeat." "Gare on radio:" "Sheriff, we gota problem with Hector." "What problem?" "Hewentswimming." "Check." "[hiss]" "Oh, my." "[growls]" "Suddenly I feel a bitfoolish here." "You're different from the others." "HolySpiritofSobek." "HolyGhost." "Holyshit." "Hector!" "Justturn the ignition." "It'sfuel injected." "[starterturning]" "Come on!" "[engine starts]" "I knowthat under the circumstances, biting my head off" "mightseem viable." "Itwould cheapenyou." "I maygeta shot!" "No!" "Bullets might not penetrate its hide." "Oh,Jesus.All right, justa littlefurther." "Just likethat." "[growling]" "Move over!" "Go!" "Go!" " I'm trying!" "Ahh!" "Jesus!" "[gunshot]" "That'syour last little stunt, Mr. Crocodile." "You're grounded." "This is somevery delicate equipment thatyou're throwing around." "I don'tcare." "You tryingto killyourself?" "." "You wantto meet yourmaker, isthat it?" "You mightthink they're godly, you mightget some spiritual lift outofbackstroking with dragons, butyoujust puta deputy at riskoutthere, sir." "Let's notoverlookthefact that he didn'teatme." "'Cause hejustate a cow, stupid." "I'm a civilian." "I'm nota trout." "You have no authority overmewhatsoever." "Hey, hey, I can arrestyou." "Well,then do it." "You hurt hisfeelings." "I don'tcare." "Doyou care?" "No." "He's an asshole." "Didyou want to be killed by it?" "You think I'm that nuts?" "Hector." "Whatyoujustdid, there had to be at leastsome sortofa death wish going on." "In ancient Melanesia," "people suspected ofcrimes would bethrown tothe crocodiles." "Crocodileswould decide." "Theywould bethejudge." "Oh, and sothatwasyou wantingto bejudged outthere?" "Maybe I was, and sowhat?" "Isthattoo arbitrary?" "Betterto be measured bymywealth?" "Betterforme to getmyself-esteem looking in the eyes ofcheap sycophants craving a meal ticket?" "Therewas more honesty in those dragon's eyes." "Therewas more dignity in those dragon's eyes." "Jesus, Hector, cutthe shit." "Aw,fuck it." "So, can I tell themyou won't go back in thewater?" "Oh,yeah, sure." "I'm notgoing back in thewater." "Noway I'm going back in thewater." "Ok." "Kelly." "We can't let'em kill it." "Wells:" "Yeah, pull all thetrucks in and start packing." "Everything?" "Yeah." "All right." "Just heard fromWildlife and Florida Fish and Game." "They're gonna be here in 3 hours." "Ok." "Sowe mightaswell pack up." "Good idea." "Will they trytotrap him?" "Sorry?" "Florida Fish and Game." "What'll theydo when theyget here?" "Cyr:" "Tell her,Jack." "Won't be ableto snag him in pitments, right?" "Andyou tranq him in thewater, and he drowns." "Theycould try totranq him on land." "Oh, sure,theycould, buttheywon't." "He'staken human life." "The mission will be to put him down." "Isthattrue?" "They've never been able totrap anything 30feet." "Butthey have totry, right?" "Where aretheygonna take him, Florida?" "BacktoAsia?" "I gotenough flaxidyl with meto put him out" "Forget it." "Jack, hearme out." "I know I'm a fat, rich, nutfuck,wacko who's aboutas grounded as a street pigeon," "Keep going." "Butthisthing..." "Here?" "Maine?" "30feet?" "Don'tyou think we're dealing with a bit ofa miracle?" "Yeah.The miraclewould be totake him alive." "Yeah, but ifwe could neutralize him" "Howarewe gonna neutralize him?" "Lure him on land and pump him full ofdrugs." "Oh, right." "I knowofan empty oil tank in Portland." "Ifwe drugged him,we could contain him there." "He's 150years old." "He probablyswam here from anothercontinent." "He's migrated to Maine." "Howthe hell dowe say wejust kill it?" "Jack, thisthing being here does have some ecological significance." "Andyou are in the business ofprotectingthings againstextinction." "Including deputies." "I understand that, but ifit's possible totake him alive" "No, it's not possible." "Look, hefollows anything thatmoves, right?" "We seta trap on the beach." "I gotenough net" "No.There's no net that's gonna hold him." "It'll keep him tangled long enough forthe drugs to kick in." "ForGod's sake,Jack, they'vetrapped crocs biggerthan 20feet." "This is notcompletely outofthe question." "It's possible, andyou knowthat." "And thosefucksfrom Florida won'teven try, andyou knowthat,too." "I gotthe drugs." "He's gota big cannon ifanything goeswrong." "Howdoyou get him tothe net?" "Ask Mrs. Bickerman to call him?" "You guys can be in thetrucks with thetranq guns." "Ifhe charges, you take off." "He's notthatfast." "Wejust havetotry." "Onetry." "Justonetry." "Like Hanksays, howwould we lure him in?" "I'll sueyou!" "Go ahead." "[helicopter] [cowmooing]" "You can'ttake a cow byeminentdomain!" "Wejustdid!" "Wewon't let her get hurt, ma'am." "You're all cocksuckers!" "I knewatfirst." "Ijustdidn'twantto say it." "We know whatwe're doing." "[moo]" "We gota cow hanging from a helicopter." "Notmuch drag." "As long as I can keep her from swinging,we're ok." "[moo]" "We're doing the rightthing." "You mightfeel different ifyou geteaten." "Yeah,thanks." "Tranq gun with every rifle." "That's asfar back as itgoes, right?" "Hector, keep enough tension to hold her up." "We don't know howwell she can swim." "Right." "I hateto say it." "The more shethrashes, the better." "Cyr:" "You ready on shore?" "Wells:" "Yeah, we're all right.We're ready." "Woman:" "Ok." "Ifshe getstired, pull herout." "[moo]" "Jack:" "What's she doing now?" "She'stryingtofly." "This is nota happycow." "I'm rooting forthe crocodile." "I hope he swallows yourfriendswhole." "You mightwantto arrest meforthat,too." "Isthata crime" "Towish the chewing oflawenforcement?" "I'm notsure, ma'am." "[moo]" "Man:" "You got'em?" "Second Man:" "Yeah, over here." "Little battery!" "What'sthe deal?" "Well,wetried." "Justa little longer, please." "She doesn'tseem to be swimming." "No, she'sfloating." "She looks like a gianttea bag." "[moo]" "Ok, Hector." "Good plan, bad bait." "Game's up." "The cowdisappoints me." "[ping]" "Hold on." "I gotsomething on the screen." "Whatdoyou got?" "He's coming." "Where?" "Howfarout?" "30 meters orso." "He's moving slow, but he's definitelycoming." "Canyou confirm visually orjust radar?" "Radar." "He's underwater, but he is coming!" "All right, everybody back in thetrucks!" "Move, move, move!" "Let's go, let's go!" "Let's go!" "Lead him in." "On ourway." "Rememberto aim forthe stomach and the sides!" "These darts won't pierce his back!" "He's surfacing." "There's his snout." "Gare:" "There he is!" "We've spotted him, Hector." "You little snacker." "Ifhe gets near her, pull up." "She'sworried aboutthe cow now." "Nice and slow, Hector." "This netthing betterwork." "He gotyou with it." "[moo]" "We're in about4feet ofwater now." "[moo]" "She's mooing." "Wells:" "You wouldn't?" "She's also kicking." "[moo]" "A little closer, Hector." "[moo] [beeping] Oh, shit." "[moo]" "Watch out!" "[woman screams] [moo]" "Motherfucker!" "Shit!" "Where is he?" "We gotta getto him." "Back us up." "Losethetranq guns." "gotothe rifles." "Man:" "Getthe rifles!" "[crocodile growls]" "Where'd he go?" "Hold up." "Don'tgo back intothewater." "Ifyou geta safe shot, take it." "Do notmove, Hector!" "Canyou see anything from outthere?" "Nothing!" "Maybe he swam backout!" "Jesus!" "Hector!" "Hey!" "Get back in thetruck!" "I got him covered." "Where is he?" "I don't know." "He's gone under." "Ijust havethisfeeling everything'stotallysafe." "There!" "He's swimming out!" "I think I see him!" "I think I see histail!" "Shit!" "Kelly!" "Aah!" "[gunshots]" "[growling]" "Wells:" "Kelly!" "[clickclick]" "Kelly, swim, swim to me!" "Swim to me, Kelly!" "Shootthefuckingthing!" "I don't have a clean shot." "Dive under!" "Go under!" "Fuck." ""Let's save him."" "Whata fucking great idea." "Come on." "Cyr:" "Here." "Herewe go." "Where is he?" "I don't know." "We can'tsee him." "What--What?" "Hector!" "All right." "Game over." "Look." "He's suffering." "I getto be humane." "No, no!" "No, no, no, look, he'strapped!" "We've done it!" "Sowhat?" "It's nota net, but he'strapped." "Mission accomplished." "Wells:" "Shoot him." "I gotmore drugs." "He's halfdead." "He's halfalive." "Shoot him!" "The drugs are kicking in." "[growling quietly]" "Lookat him." "He's done." "Hank." "All right, stand back." "No, no, no, Sheriff!" "." "Look." "Look, look." "He's got nothing left." "Wells:" "Go ahead." "Shoot him." "Really?" "Jack,we don't" " Kelly." "We don't haveto destroy him!" "God damn it, lookat him!" "Letme havethat." "Kelly:" "He's been neutralized." "Cyr:" "Come on,Jack, he'strapped!" "Lookat him!" "He can'tmove!" "What'sthe point?" "We don't haveto dothis." "Jack,you don't haveto." "Please!" "[growl]" "Oh, God!" "He's gotme!" "Jesus!" "Jesus Christ!" "Arethere 2?" "I thinkthere's 2." "I can seethat." "He bitme!" "He bitme!" "There's 2,there's 2!" "I can count." "Cyr:" "No!" "Backto one." "Go ahead." "Flax him." "[vehicle approaches]" "Oh, heretheyare." "Just in time." "Niceto seeyou." "We're gonna need to getthis reptile" "some medical attention." "We, uh... trapped him with ourchopper." "[moo]" "Portland?" "Yes, Portland." "They'll tank him there until wefigure out something betterto do." "So, Sheriff, Sheriff, you gottofire your big gun finally." "Was itfun?" "Overrated." "What'd Bickerman say?" "Well, she didn't wanttotell us aboutthe second croc," "'cause shewas afraid we'd blow its head off." "Women's intuition." "We got room forone more." "Someone should probablygowith him." "uh..." "I'm still packing up some stuff, but, uh..." "I'll go." "So, I imagine you're gonna have a few reportsto do." "Ifyou need anything, letme know." "Yeah." "Itwas nice meetingyou." "Gee, Hank, don'tgetall choked up." "Withyou, I'm still mixed." "Oh,well,then,justto offendyou on principle,then." "Seeyou." "[engine starts]" "Well..." "You wanta ride in mytruck?" "Oh,wejustfinished" "loading upthefront ofthetruck." "Doyou want usto take some stuffout?" "No, no,that's all right." "I'm gonna be a littlewhile anyway." "I wantto go say good-byetothe lake." "You sure, because I don'tmind" "No." "I actuallywant to staya little longer." "All right." "All right." "IfI'm ever in NewYork, I'll..." "Yeah." "Yeah." "So, does nobodyever make a move in Maine?" "That's it?" "You slideyourduffel bag?" "Just... get in thetruck." "Gofora beer." "There's a good bar in town." "Betthat's charming." "Arethe glasses clean?" "Mostly." "You gonna complain thewholetime?" "Jack." "Startthetruck." "[starts engine]" "I alreadymiss the crocodile." "[reggae music playing]" "Bob Marley:" "# I wanna loveya #" "#And treatyou right#" "# I wanna loveya #" "Cute little buttons." "Oh, ho ho." "Oh, mama lovesyou." "Come on." "Eatyoursupper." "Nibble mommy'stoes." "Yes." "# Roofrightoverour heads#" "#We'll sharethe shelter#" "#We'll sharethe shelter#" "#Ofmysingle bed #" "#We'll sharethe same room #" "#Yeah #" "#Jah providethe bread #" "# Isthis love, isthis love# - [siren]" "# Isthis love that I'm feeling?" "#" "# Isthis love, isthis love#" "# Isthis love, isthis love#" "#That I'm feeling?" "#" "#Oh,yes, I know,yes, I know#" "#Yes, I know now#" "#Oh,yes, I know,yes, I know#" "#Yes, I know now#" "# I #" "#Am willing and able#" "#So I #" "#Throwmycards onyourtable#" "#See, I wanna loveya #" "# I wanna love and treatya #" "# Love and treatya right#" "# I wanna loveya #" "# Everydayand every night#" "#We'll betogether#" "#With a roof rightoverour heads#" "#We'll sharethe shelter#" "#Ofmysingle bed #" "#We'll sharethe same room #" "#Yeah #" "#Jah providesthe bread #" "#We'll sharethe shelter#"