"It'll be... so, you guys will line up in the following order..." "It will be Ryan Gaul, Eugene Cordero, Lauren Lapkus," "Josh Lawson, Kristen Bell, Don Cheadle." "And it'll be like this." "Should I snap on the way out?" "If you could not snap on the way out." "He doesn't understand not snapping." "Should I not snap on the way out?" "No, nobody should be snapping on the way out." "Do the names and the order again, so we know how we're coming out." "Sure, it'll be Ryan Gaul..." "Nope, nope, nope." "Nobody's gonna be snapping." "Ladies and gentlemen, coming to you from the upright citizens brigade theater in Los Angeles, California, Showtime presents" "House of Lies Live!" "Please welcome to the stage, Ben Schwartz!" "How is everybody tonight?" "Come on, come on, come on, come on!" "How is everybody tonight?" "Guys, welcome to House of Lies Live." "Everything you see tonight will be made up on the spot." "We're gonna be performing long-form improv." "Some people have done improv before." "Some people have not." "Everybody on the stage will have been in season three of House of Lies, which is on Showtime." "That's [bleep] insane." "Are you guys ready to meet the performers performing tonight?" "Yeah!" "Give it up for Ryan Gaul!" "Give it up for Eugene Cordero!" "Give it up for Lauren Lapkus!" "Give it up for Josh Lawson!" "Give it up for Kristen Bell!" "And give it up for Golden Globe winner Don Cheadle!" " Oh." " This is the cast, okay, guys?" "So what we're gonna do is, we're gonna get a suggestion from you." "The suggestion is gonna be "the greatest lie you've ever told,"" "and then we're gonna improvise." "Everything will be made up on the spot." "This show will exist in this moment, then evaporate, except for now it's being recorded for eternity." "But, like, for us, it..." "It just exists in this moment." "So all we need to get started is the biggest lie you've ever told." "Someone shout it out right now." " I'm pregnant." "Great." "You came very pre..." "and a man said that, correct?" "We're doing great." ""I'm pregnant."" "All right, you guys don't have to say anything else ever again." " What is it?" " I don't know." "I don't know how it happened." "What do you mean?" "First of all, that's the weirdest thing I've ever heard." "I know!" "Who have you had sex with, huh?" " Well..." " 'Cause you said you never cheated on me." "Oh, define "cheated."" "Putting your penis in a different woman." "Yeah, I cheated on you." "Yeah, I cheated on you." " Yes!" " But how did I get pregnant?" "That's the part I can't figure out!" " We got to go to a doctor." " Yeah." "There's a lot of things this doctor has to figure out more than anything." "Let's talk to a doctor, please." "So let me get this straight." "Um, could..." " I'm sorry." " Just hold up." " Wait, I'm sorry." " Just hold on a second." " Are you eating your pencil?" " What are you doing?" "You just took a bite out of your pencil." "Hey, guys, we're here for..." "We're here for a specific reason, okay?" "So you're pregnant?" " Yeah." " But you're a man." " And he's... it's a guy." " You're a man." " It's a guy." " Yeah." " It's weird." "We're seeing a lot of it." " Really?" "Yeah." "We're actually seeing a lot of this." " He's not even taking notes." " No, listen..." "Why is he in here?" "Okay, you have a lot of attitude for a couple of people coming to a doctor." " You're right." " Okay?" " You're right." " Tell us what's going on." "Please tell us what's going on." " Okay, well, you're pregnant." "You're gonna had a ki..." "I assume you guys are married?" " What?" "How?" " Did he start saying "kitten"?" "Is that how it works?" "Yeah, you're gonna have a kit..." "A man can't be pregnant with a baby." "No, you're gonna..." "You're going to have a kitten." "And congratulations." " Mm, congratulations." " Doctor, I'm so sorry." "I just..." "I-I'm freaking out right now because" "I think I got my boyfriend pregnant..." " Oh, no." " And I'm allergic to cats!" " Hey, relax!" " Sit... sit down." "And I don't..." "like, I'm flipping out right now, because it's not that I don't..." "Here, here, here." "You want a pencil?" "Yo, we need [bleep] plan "B," man." "Yeah." "Ted, please have a seat." "Look, already, man!" "We're going to break up." "It's okay." "No, have a seat." "All right, well, we can do a "cabortion," if you like." "Yeah!" "Can't we just put it up for "cadoption"?" "Hey, I'm looking for a, um..." "I'm looking for a kitten." "Yeah, you want a cat?" "A little kitty cat?" " Yeah!" "Oh!" "Let's get you hooked up with one of them kitty cats!" "Oh, cool." "All right." " So, it just..." " Oh, yeah." "This one we just got fresh a couple..." "I got to tell you, a lot of men getting pregnant." "Business is booming for the cat man!" "Okay." "There you go!" "They call you "The Cat Man"?" "They call me "the Cat Man."" " I'm the cat man!" " Yeah." "Okay." "Can I ask you a question about why this cat is just eating a pencil?" "Oh." " Uh, can I get that, um..." " Sorry." "What?" "Twothree waiters is fine." "Four waiters is... five waiters." "Oh, my God!" "I told you I was so..." "Six waiters is fine." "Thank you so much." " Terrified to come here because they do this to everybody." "I see it in the window." " I know." "They're, like, right up in your space, and I'm just trying to eat..." " Yeah, yeah, yeah." "And I feel like I have something in my teeth." "Oh, God, that's the worst." " I hate that!" " It's because I didn't leave a tip last time." " Yeah, yeah, we remember." "We apologize about the tip." "Hey, what do you want..." "what do you guys want to drink?" "Yeah, something to start with?" "Tap water, filtered water?" "Do you want some sparkling water?" "What kind of water do you guys need?" "Uh, just regular water." " We have Rosemary chicken." " Wet your whistle." "Waiters, waiters, can you bring, um..." "Can you bring the champagne?" " Yeah!" " No problem, no problem." " Champagne!" "No problem." "You got it, you got it." "Oh!" " Hey!" " Yes!" "Hey, did you say "champagne" or "chair pain"?" " Champagne." " Oh!" "Champagne." "Champagne." " Can I say to you..." " Yeah?" " Can I say to you..." " Yes." "It's champagne." "Don't want to ruin the surprise." "We have a Rosemary crusted chicken!" " Oh!" " Shh, sir?" "Sir?" " It's so good!" " Just give me a minute." "One minute, just to talk." " One minute." " Just to talk to my girlfriend." " We didn't know." "Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!" "A minute." "A minute." "A minute." "No, no!" "A minute." "A minute." "A minute." "A minute." "No, a minute." "A minute." "It's crusted with Rosemary." "A minute." "A minute." "A minute." " One minute." "Jenna..." "One minute." "One..." " Didgeridoo." "One minute." "One minute." " It's a tough one to mime." "Okay." "Do you remember when I..." "Stop it!" "Stop it." "That's better." " Here we go." " That one's better." " That's better." "Do you remember when, um..." "you remember when I saw you..." " Yeah?" " And I said..." "I said, "I want to see that face for the rest of my life"?" "It was a lie!" "It was a lie!" "Wait." "What is that?" "What is that?" "How can I help you?" "Uh, hey, um, I'm looking to change my service." "I'm so sorry." "What was that?" "I'm looking to change my service." "There's somebody else on my phone!" "Oh, are you getting a crossover signal?" "Yeah, yeah, there's somebody..." "I was call..." "This is why I want to change my service!" "Okay, I just need to have one of your social security numbers." "Okay, yeah." "5..." "Mmhmm." "If that's true, that person's not alive." " 3-2-6-4..." " No?" "546-2." " Okay." " Oh, very cute." " Oh, my God, thank you." " You're welcome." "You're welcome." "Oh, what's your name?" " Danica." " Yeah?" "So you gonna take care of this?" "Oh, I'm sorry." "And what..." "And can I..." " Is your name Patsy?" " Patsy, yeah." " Okay." "Yeah, okay." "We got you both here." "I can see the problem." " Mm-hmm." "It seems like..." "Richard, are you signed up for a dual line?" "What I bought is a dual line." "It's a cheaper line." "It's a cheaper line." "It's a cheaper line." "I said, "anytime I make a phone call, you can just patch anyone you want in."" "Yep." "You press..." "It's really bothering me, though." "I'm so sorry." "I get it." "I get it." "Okay, so he patched into mine, right?" "I get it, yeah." "And you have the right person, Patsy?" " Yeah, I see you right here." " Okay." "'Cause that's me." " Yeah." "I have some good news, and I have some bad news." " Ooh, give me the good one." " The good news..." "The good news is that I'm..." "There's a chance I can change this for you guys and get you on each individual contracts." " All right!" " The bad news is," "I just found out I can't do it, though." "What?" "Hey, can I talk to you for a second?" " Yeah, absolutely." " We're gonna keep you on board." "Yes!" " Sit down!" " Okay." "No, honestly, I thought you were gonna..." "This was, like..." " No, no." "I should fire you, okay?" " I know." " Are you firing him?" " Huh?" "N-not" " Somebody's getting fired!" " No, guys!" "Guys!" " Oh!" "Champagne!" "Champagne!" "You're fired." "You're fired." "You're fired." " Hi." " So, thank you guys so much." " Yeah." " So, the last person was terrible with customer service." " Right." " Don't say "good news"..." ""Calls are monitored."" " Thank you so much!" " I know it!" "I know!" " Thank you!" " "For quality assurance."" " This is great!" " I..." " Use this when you're on the phone with people." " Right." "Well, I'm not gonna say that, 'cause I think the automated voice in the beginning says it, right?" " Smart." "When you get on the phone with people and you have bad news, just give 'em the bad news." "Don't sugarcoat it, okay?" " Quickly!" " Quickly!" " Hi." "It's, uh..." "I talked to you guys earlier this week." "This is Patsy." " Patsy, Patsy." " Mm-hmm." "Oh, yeah, I got you right here, pats." " Oh, great." " What's up?" " Great." "Hi... wow, hi." " Hi." " Uh, I'm doing well." " Hi!" " Uh, I..." " Patsy, real quick," "I got to cancel your service." " "Real quick"?" " Yeah." "Yeah, baby!" "Okay?" "This time, you could even be a little harsher, if you want." "Get right to it." "There's no problem, okay?" " Okay, okay, so don't..." " You're nailing this job." "Be cordial at all." "Just..." " Don't... what's the point?" " I know." "I kind of feel like..." " Hi." "I'm having a situation..." " Hi." "Nope!" "Whoo!" " Thank you." " If you can do it without them getting a word out," "I will honestly promote you to my job." " Oh, my gosh." " And I'll go see my kids for the first time in, like, seven years." "Done!" "I'm saving the company that much money." "Right." "Okay." "So?" " All right, well, I mean" " I will admit, when you sit in the chair, you tell the truth." "So don't sit in the chair unless you're will..." "No, it's not, it's not a..." " No, no, no!" "Don't say that, don't do that!" " You're yanking my [bleep]!" " Can I ask you a question?" "First of all, do you really [bleep] like this?" "Yeah." "Like, show me how you masturbate." "Oh, I mean, I just masturbate like a regular guy." "I just... just like this." "I mean, it's..." "you know, you guys." "No, you were doing it over here." "No, I do." "I masturbate like this!" "See?" "Get out of the chair!" " Get out of that chair." " Did you see what happened?" "Oh, [bleep]!" "Oh, my God, dude, that's not funny." " No." " Wait, hang on." "That's the truth?" " Huh?" "You masturbate out of your thigh?" "No, [bleep]!" "Fine, then do you know where your penis is?" "Yes, of course I know where it is." " Take a seat." " Uh, you guys." "You guys, what's a penis?" " Get up." " What?" "I don't..." " This is bad." " By the way, the chair works." " Yeah." "A-plus for us." " Oh!" " Because we were unsure." " We were unsure." " Oh, honestly?" " Yeah." "You're onto something here." "I mean, you got to use this chair for good, not for finding out if guys like me don't know what a penis is." "I mean, I feel like everyone is gonna be doing that." "Have you had sex before?" "Ah, come on!" "Tell the truth." "You know we got the chair here." "Hey, man, this one I got no problem about." "Have you had sex before?" "Yeah, man, I've had a whole bunch of sex." "All the time." " No, sit on it!" " What are you talking about?" " Sit on it." "Sit on it." " Fine." "Fine... aah!" "Women frighten me!" " Oh!" "Do you mind if I put my popcorn right here?" "You know, yeah, go ahead." " Is that fine?" " Yeah." "Hey, you guys, when you have a chance, could you shut the [bleep] up so we..." "Wow." "Nice." "I didn't even think..." " Wow." " I didn't even think we were..." "Wow." " Turn it the [bleep] down." " Yeah." "Turn it the [bleep] down!" "Wow." "I didn't think we were that loud." "We didn't think we were that loud." "The movie hasn't even "stooted."" "Oh, it's the Jimbo." "It's the Jimbo." "You know what I mean?" "They have so much to say so early." "Some of us like to play the trivia questions." " Really?" " So play it!" "And you don't need to worry about the noise because you can read, right, bitch?" " Uh-oh!" " Oh!" " Uh-oh!" " No, you didn't!" " Ay yeah!" " "Mm-humba."" ""Mm-humba."" " "Mm-humba."" " Excuse me, ladies?" "My children and I just want to watch Walking with Dinosaurs without all this hullabaloo." "Good, well, the movie will start, and we will quiet down..." " Thank you." " But while it's still trivia..." "It's anybody's game." " It's game on." " Game... it's game on." "It's like the beginning of the..." "Sorry, I don't think my dad was clear." "He meant shut the [bleep] up." "Whoa!" "That's right!" "That's right!" "That's right!" "My daughter, bitches!" "That's my girl!" "So this is it." "You just stand up here." "The light will go off." "If boats see it out at sea, you just, like, make sure they can see the..." "The light." " If it goes out, I'm..." "I turn it back on?" " Yeah." " Okay." "That's basically the one rule..." " So they can see it?" "Yeah, as a lighthouse captain, that's kind of the thing you got to remember." "Okay." "If you're asking me if it can get lonely..." "Yeah." "Yeah." "Yeah." "And what do you do, just, like, or something?" "What?" "What was that?" "I just..." "So is it written down anywhere?" "Just turn it off, or..." " No, no, no, no, no, no." "You just... what did you just..." ""Do you [bleep]?"" "Yeah, I was like, what do you do up here all by yourself, like, [bleep] [bleep], or...?" " Hey, hey." "You got a hip [bleep], man?" "What?" "Yes." "Oh, my..." "Oh, my God." "Eugene, this is the weirdest porno I've ever seen." "No, no, no, no, no, no!" "Hey, hey, hey, hey!" " You bumped right into it!" " Are you sure?" " It gets..." " No, he's..." "It gets better." "It gets better." "Hey, put your [bleep] away, dude." " It gets better." " They never get to..." "It does get lonely up here, doesn't it?" " It does." " Get to [bleep]!" " Hey, hey, hang on." "The shorter one has a monologue for a little while." "So run me through the instructions of turning on the light." " Well..." " Like, how exactly do I turn..." "Is the shorter one playing with her [bleep]?" "Yeah, yeah." " Excuse me." " Oh, here we go." "Oh, yeah, now it's getting good." "Now we got it." " It's okay." " Did somebody order a pizza in this lighthouse?" " What'd I tell you?" "Oh, yeah!" "Yo, yo!" "How did that bitch get there?" "A lighthouse is so far away from land!" "How did that bitch get there?" " Oh, yeah." "Why don't you pop that pizza down right here, right?" "Oh, now we're getting to [bleep]!" "Oh, my God!" "It's ramming me in my side vagina!" " All right, hang on, hang on." " Pause, pause, pause!" " Pause, pause." " Okay, I forgot to tell you, my pornos get a little "rapey."" "Like, they just go immediately..." "Like, she's just putting a pizza..." " But they're not [bleep]!" " I'll tell you... guys, guys." "I'm gonna fast-forward to the [bleep]." "Fast forward here, okay?" " No, press play, press play!" " Play, play, play, play!" "Play, play, play, play, play!" "Now get out of here!" " What the [bleep]?" "Get out!" "State your name when you're in the front." " Okay." "Um, Lisa Simpson." " Lisa Simpson?" "I'm assuming..." "I'm assuming not the Lisa Simpson?" " No, I know, it sucks." " Right." "Uh, can I see your profile?" " Uh-huh." " Height?" " Uh, 27 inches." " Profile?" " It's Lisa Simpson." "Is that Lisa Simpson?" "It's really, truly Lisa Simpson." " Is that the real Lisa Simpson?" " No, it's not." "I'm the same height, I look a lot like her." "Okay, can you do the scene?" "Can you do the scene, please, Lisa?" " Yes." " Face forward." " Yeah." " And, you know, be yourself." "Like, be yourself." " Yeah." "How many fingers do you have?" " Four." " Okay." " It's Lisa Simpson." " Josh, whenever you're ready." " Bart, come on." " And cut." "There's no Bart in this." " Yeah, no Bart." " It's a commercial..." " Not even a Bart." "What is it, Josh?" "A commercial for...?" " A commercial for balloons." " Oh." " Just balloons." " No, I..." "Just say my name?" " Yes, just say your name." " Just say your name, yeah." "Luis Guzman." " Well, look..." " All right, sir." "And then Josh will be reading with you." " I'll be reading with you." " Thanks." "Thanks." "And you know it's a commercial for balloons." "Whenever you're ready, action, Luis." " What kind of balloons?" " Hey." "Well, we got every color balloon... blue, red, purple, and green." "Are they my friend?" "Try to stick on script, sir." " Not allowed to improv?" " Not allowed to improv." " Please don't improvise." " Don't improvise?" "Just stick to the script." "Just whatever's on... yeah." "My bread and butter is my improv." "Okay." "At the end, at the end..." "You can add a little flourish at the end." " Okay." " Mm-hmm." "Let's start from the top, if you don't mind, guys." "And cameras are rolling." "Luis, whenever you're ready." "What kind of balloons?" "We got every color balloon..." "blue, red, purple, and green." "Can I get the address?" "What are you saying?" "Hi." "My name is Tony St. McClair." "I am an aftra "must join,"" "and I need this pretty bad." " Cool." "So, again, it's a commercial for balloons." "Whenever you're ready." " I already--I read the sides." "I am not even holding them." " Oh, wow, very prepared." " That's great." " I memorized." "Josh will be reading with you, whenever you're ready." " Okay, Josh." "Nice to meet you." "Uh..." "What kind..." "Of the balloons?" "So, again, just on script." "Its the same script that we've had the whole day." " But, uh..." " "What are these?" I think." "Right?" " "What are the--," okay." "Can I do it again?" "No, no." "No." "So, whenever you're ready." "Your name again, sir?" " Tony St. McClair." " Okay." "Oh, you're kind of Irish, but not?" " No, actually, I'm 100% French." " Okay." "Thanks for asking, though." "A lot of people..." "I don't care about your life story, buddy." "So, whenever you're ready, Josh is ready for you." "You do?" "I couldn't hear." "You do want to hear it, or you don't?" "I do not want to hear your life story." " Okay." " Whenever you're ready." "We're running out of tape." " Absolutely." "What, um..." "In terms of the balloons, what kinds..." " That's fine." "Keep going." " All over the place." "Yeah, we've got every kind of balloon... blue, green, orange, and purple." " Oh, my gosh." " Are they my friends?" "No." "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to That's My Answer." "The following three contestants are still in the running." "Whawha... what?" "We have Sally pulleys." "Whawha... wha..." "oh, that's you?" "We have Cooper super-duper looper Craig." "Okay." "And we have Diane." " Thank you." " You remember..." "The name of the show was..." "What was it?" "  That's My Answer." "  That's My Answer." "Great!" "One point for Diane." "No!" "Okay, this is how..." "This is how it works." "We have a series of your "personal people,"" "from your "personal lives," in the back." " Oh, my God." " They're gonna ask a question." " Oh, my God." " And you guys have to answer the exact way you answered them in the real life." " Okay." " Oh, this doesn't make sense!" " Okay." "Here we go, okay?" "The question will be there, and you have to try to remember the way you answered in real life." " Yes." " Okay." ""Do you love me, or do you not love me?" "Because honestly, I can't tell anymore."" "Yes." "Come on, what?" "Yep!" "Points!" "Point for super-duper looper Cooper!" "Point for super-duper..." "Now, these are questions that have been asked to all three of you." " I should have known that one." " Yes." "Honestly, I should have known that one." "Here we go, number two." ""I don't get it." "It's like you were, you know," ""taken advantage of as a child." ""Why do you have to always take this out on me?" "Am I not good enough for you?"" "I was raped as a child!" " Whoa!" " That's what I was gonna say." " Diane, you get a point." " Thank you!" "Yes!" " Nice." " Last one... "why me?"" "'Cause you're here." "Correct!" "You go to the bonus round!" "Oh!" " Yeah, thanks, Cooper." " If you don't mind." "We have Mary." "You have your last girlfriend who you broke up with, okay?" " Oh, hey, Mary." " Hi." "Okay, now, as you know, things didn't end perfectly for you two, okay?" " Mm-hmm." "Mm-hmm." "Mary is going to say the sentence that broke up your relationship." "You have to remember, word for word, how to answer it." "The audience, put 20 seconds on the clock." "I don't know why the audience's job is that." "Put it on the clock." " Audience, are you ready?" " Yeah!" "Ready!" "We're so ready!" "I love watching stuff!" "And, Kristen, when you're ready, 20 seconds on the clock." "What the hell is that substance on the table?" " That's it, 20..." " Yeah, I know, yeah." " Yeah, I know." " 18..." " Yeah, no, I know." " 17, 16..." "Yeah, I know it's..." "Yeah, I know it..." " 17, 16..." " Yeah, I know it feels weird." " 15, 14..." " Yeah, I know, but that's me." " 13..." "Ahh!" "I'm so sorry, the answer was," ""that's a condom!"" " Oh!" " Yes!" " Oh, that's what broke us up?" " That's what broke you up." " Yeesh!" " Okay, well..." "Do it, Ryan." "See what happens." "Come here." "Come on, Ryan." "Go for it, Ryan." " Ryan, come on." " Go for it." "Do a scene." " I'm just scared." " Do a scene." "Yeah, come on, go for it." " Do a scene." "Initiate!" " Do it, man." " I'm nervous about it." " Initiate!" " I know." " Just do it." " I'm nervous." " Come on." "Do a scene." " You guys..." " Just initiate." "Come on." "Do a scene." " Do it, man." " Do a scene." "Go, go, go, go, go." "Ryan, do a scene." "I'm literally off the stage." "I can't do one now." "I feel like it's intimidating." " Go, go!" "No, I'm not..." "Why would I take all these?" " Get in there." " God!" "I can't!" " Go, go!" " I'll try." "Chairs for sale!" "What?" " Chairs for sale!" " Good!" "Good!" "Come on!" " It's not working!" "They're not..." "The joke is not landing." "Oh, cool." "Cool." "Yeah, yeah, yeah." "You guys interested in chairs?" "I got chairs." "What type of chairs you got?" "I got dinner chairs." "I got bathroom chairs." " Nice." " Oh!" " Bathroom chairs?" " For the bathroom?" "See, you got to have a chair in the bathroom," "I'm the guy you want to talk to." "Ryan Gaul, can I talk to you for a second?" "Yeah." "Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah." " Ryan, can I talk to you?" " Yeah." "I'm here with The New York Times." " Yeah." " We were around for what people have called, "the greatest improv initiation of all time."" " Yeah." "Supposedly, it was the best bit of all time." "You took five chairs?" " Yeah." "Which were..." " Oh, wha-wha-wha-wha-wha?" " They weren't that heavy." " Huh?" " They weren't that heavy." " And what happened?" "They said that the audience exploded?" "What does that mean?" "Exploded with laughter, I think." "Oh, with laughter, not physically exploding?" "I don't think so, but honestly, it was dark." "I couldn't tell." " What are you gonna do now?" "What do you do after this?" "After you've defeated..." "After you've beaten comedy, what's the point?" "What do you do next?" "You got to find what you're good at, and I'm good with chairs, so I mean..." " Really good." "Okay, just state your name." "Face forward, please." "Uh, it's Ryan Gaul." "Okay, profiles?" "Thank you." "I really needed that." "Okay." "So, whenever you're ready..." "Just before we start," "I want to say I'm a big fan." "I was there when you did the chair bit." "I was..." "I was one of the people you hit on the side." "Oh." "Sorry about that." "But my wife literally exploded." "Okay." " And, um..." " Oh!" "And I'll never forgive you for that." " Oh." " I'll never forgive you for that." " I'm sorry." "I'll go ahead and start." " Mm-hmm." "Did you take my [bleep] chair?" "Guys, we have a problem." "Guys, guys, the camera exploded." "What do we do?" "Oh!" "Oh, my..." "I'll record it on my Google Glasses." "Oh, record it on your Google Glasses!" "Yeah." "No, I got it." "Smart." "You take my [bleep] chair?" "Oh, no!" " Oh, no!" " You're a monster!" " I'm sorry!" " We're gathered here today to mourn the loss of Kristen johannsen flannel." "And, um, we have a very special treat." "Ryan Gaul is gonna do the eulogy." "So, Ryan, if you would just like to say a couple words..." "Thanks, Don." "Woody..." " No!" " No, I..." " Oh, my God!" "Oh!" "Keep going." "Oh." " Here." " Thank you." "Not the bathroom chair." "Trusty bathroom chair." " She loved chairs." "" " Unh!" " No!" " Oh, whoa!" " Um..." " This isn't safe." "I shouldn't be doing this." " No, I really want to know what you're gonna say." " Okay." " Are you insane?" "Chairs were a huge..." " No!" "It went out of order!" "That's our show!" "Give it up for Josh Lawson, Kristen Bell, Lauren Lapkus," "Don Cheadle, Eugene Cordero, Ryan Gaul!" "You guys have fun?" "Thank you so much for coming out." "This is House of Lies Live." "Watch House of Lies Sundays, 10:00 P.M. on Showtime." "Guys, thank you so much." "Be good." " Good work, everybody." " Nice." " Yay!" " Yay!" " No, no!" " Go another hour!"