"Previously on Garçons de Chambre" "I'm going to disappear." "You have to replace me." "Be at the Galantin in one hour." "A client will be waiting at the restaurant." "Good evening." "Sorry I'm late." "Have you chosen?" "He took a room with her." "Well I didn't really delete Leo's website." "Be gentle." "You're a virgin?" "How old are you Kevin?" "You coming?" "You're as stupid as your brother, it's about time you go through this teenage angst." "You're not Leopold." "Impostor!" "How dare you wear his face?" "Get him out of here!" "They tried to dupe me." "But they don't know me." "You're going to have to separate from your friends, dear Leopold." "As a child I used to say:" "I'll be driving big cars with beautiful women in them." "Thank you." "Thank you." "Good night." "When I'll be big," "I'll have a garden with very green grass." "Good evening." "Everything went well?" "Yeah, very well." "I'll have a big house with plenty maids." "Thank you." "No, thank you." "I'll travel from country to country, room to room, with baths or Jacuzzis." "See you tomorrow." "Have a good night." "You too." "When I'll be big," "I'll be strong and beautiful." "And I'll be a fireman or a doctor." "When I'll be big," "I'll love a woman and she'll love me." "I'll be married." "I'll have kids and we'll be happy." "Good night little D'Arpajon." "As a child I'd say:" "I'll be loyal." "When I'll be big, (What's wrong?" ")" "I'll be a vigilante. (I'll be back.)" "One night I thought to myself:" ""Hey!" "I'm big."" "But it was too late." "When I'll be big," "I'll forget that I was a kid." "I'll forget that I had dreams." "Go away!" "Where's Leo's Ipad?" "Huh?" "Where's Leo's Ipad?" "No, no way." "What was the point of keeping his website then?" "No." "No, no, no, and no." "Come on!" "No, no, no, no." "Come on!" "No!" "Come on!" "No!" "Where's Leo's Ipad?" "!" "Here, listen to this one:" "My name is Leticia, I'm looking for a gigolo for my friend's bachelorette party." "That's a good one." "Thank you." "I can see myself dancing with these chicks like..." "She's 48 years old." "She's dancing the waltz." "Fuck." "Or..." "Cyrielle, 34 years old." "I like horses and golf. 5 feet 5 inches and... oh yeah... 205 pounds." "Oh, no, no, disgusting." "Wait, you realize you're not here for your pleasure but theirs?" "You know that the girls looking for gigolos aren't always bombshells." "Well how did my brother do it?" "Shall I show you his prices?" "No, no I'm good." "Elizabeth, 42 years old." "Oh no." "Yes, go ahead, tell me." "She just wants to have a good time, she's in the terminal phase of her cancer." "Oh, damn." "Then there's men." "No way." "Fuck you're complicated man." "Can I ask you a question?" "Michelle, sterile, lesbian... she's looking for a donor." "How does it feel to... to get..." "Ah, Mr. D'Arpajon wants to talk about it." "Not me." "Come on, please." "Because I met a girl last time, and I asked her to put... a finger." "And..." "And?" "And she thought I was gay." "I mean it was just a finger, it's not..." "You know, at the same time, with or without a finger up your ass, you're the gayest of the four of us." "The girl's right, I'm sorry." "Anyways this is super good." "What sauce is it?" "Your cucumber mask." "No." "You didn't do that." "No, you can't do that man." "No but seriously, you think I seem gay?" "I don't know, I mean you put gloss on your eyes." "No, no, no, it's not gloss, I just put a little bit of cream against dark circles." "It's completely different, I mean..." "I'm sorry." "My babysitter ditched." "I've got nobody else and I have to go to work." "Honey, be sweet with your uncle." "Thank you, I'm late!" "You OK Alexander?" "I went to get croissants." "I only like them with chocolate inside." "Have a nice breakfast anyways." "I want you to pay me... for the night." "You're kidding." "And shit, you're not kidding." "I wanted to fuck you." "And it's the second time you deny me." "So what am I?" "Your pillow?" "I listened to you," "I consoled you." "So fuck or no fuck, I was your whore last night." "So you'll be nice and consider my service to you." "You're crazy." "Feels weird being on the other side huh?" "On your gigolo pedestal, looking at the poor little boy who's just asking for a little love." "What do you want, huh?" "Come on, tell me." "Fifty." "One hundred, two hundred." "A thousand!" "Huh?" "What are your prices?" "Do you even know?" "And what are you going to do with the money?" "You don't even need it." "And you Giovanni, what are your needs?" "You know what?" "What are you doing?" "Is this what you want?" "Huh?" "Get off me!" "Is this what you want for your first time?" "Sleep with anybody?" "You'll think about me your whole life and you'll regret it, believe me." "And stop being such a bitch, being an escort isn't a game." "I was older than you my first time." "I paid a man." "Then I did everything for him to love me." "Until the day he actually did." "I'm not proud of it." "I'll let you pay for the room." "The second one's a good client." "Sorry?" "She must have a lot of money." "Why are you saying that?" "She says her husband's never home, which means she's bored, she doesn't work." "So, she doesn't need money." "Wait, Alexander, you know what this is?" "Dad's website." "Everything good?" "Yeah." "Leopold has a way of raising kids... unbelievable." "No, it's Mom who explained it to me when Dad left." "Mom?" "Explain what?" "Well, Dad's job is being a gigolo." "So everybody knew but us." "I'm going to bed, I mean shower." "Hello." "Giovanni, it's me." "Oh, Jen." "Sorry, I have no money for you." "I'm sorry, what did you do last night?" "I slept." "At the hotel?" "You just slept?" "You think I'm just going to believe you." "You really don't understand me then." "No one understands me in this fucking hotel." "And what if tomorrow I find myself in the streets alone, without money." "Emilio, my kids, what would happen to them?" "You know what heritage is?" "Well yeah, now you the gays can get married, so you must know what it is." "You must understand then." "You understand right?" "You're my friend, you're my friend, so give me the money!" "What are you doing Jen?" "Bryan has chicken pox." "Did you know that if you catch it before the age of two, then there's a risk of catching it a second time?" "You're not completely immune." "You have chicken pox?" "Gio, you?" "Ow!" "You've got a ticket." "What?" "The girls." "Hey, he's cute, is that your son?" "Yes." "Rule number one:" "having a ring or a kid will always attract more women." "You can say I'm your son, uncle, it doesn't bother me." "I grew up in Naples with my father Giuseppe." "I left because he would rape me." "I came to France right after and met my future husband... at the Fouquet's." "My husband is responsible for Pooper Scooper's French territory." "They make poo baggies for dogs." "I learned how to play the piano, the transverse flute, the violin, the accordion, the mandolin..." "I took singing and dancing lessons, flamenco, tango, jazz." "Classical wasn't for me." "And I'm a black belt in karate." "Very good." "What are your expectations from this meeting?" "Dalida is in me." "She speaks to me." "She's lived in my head ever since she disappeared." "It's as if her soul had penetrated my body." "Did you know that she wanted to die on stage?" "Uhh yes?" "I want the same thing." "I'm sorry?" "I don't want to die." "I love my life, I love my husband." "I'm his best advisor on his poo bags." "But if I'm here it's because..." "Dalida and I want to be on stage." "We want to make love in front of an audience gone wild." "She needs it to leave me." "Dalida and you?" "Dalida is me." "And you, you're the man who'll penetrate us." "OK." "Just one small issue, do you know who will be in the audience?" "I have a list of people, friends, who would like to come watch." "And I already found a theatre." "But we must do this very discretely because if my husband finds out, he's putting my head in a bag..." "A poo bag." "Si." "Anyway, Dalida is OK with doing this intimately." "And if it's a money issue, I can even pay double." "So... can we do the event?" "Mom said that to be happy, you must love your work." "Dad said you have to work hard to bring money home." "I said..." "Yes." "When I'll be big, I'll be Superman."