"[projector clicking]" "#" "# Farewell, old comforts #" "# So long, restful days #" "# I'll carry nothing, for nothing can I pay #" "# I will try not to but I'll  still forget your name #" "# And I'll find another face along the road #" "# And gone #" "# When I'm gone #" "# I'd like for all my friends # # to raise up their heads in song #" "# So... #" "When I go #" "# My friends can nod their heads and say #" "# "We're glad she's moved on" #" "[birds chirping]" "[faint thwapping] [muttering angrily]" "[phone beeps and dials] [phone ringing]" "(Woman on recording) Hi, this is Abby." "I'm not here right now, so leave a message and I'll get back to you as soon I can." "Thanks!" "[beep]" "Hey, it's me." "I don't know if you're not answering because, uh, you're still at the funeral or because you still don't wanna talk..." "But, um, either way, I think you're, uh, being pretty out of line and totally unfair with all this." "You know, it's you that's making this, this so uncomfortable - not me... all right?" "And, you know, I, I had," "I had just as much right to be there as you." "And so what if she's your aunt?" "You know, she's, she's my aunt, too." "Just, uh..." "Just a, uh, ex-aunt-in-law or whatever, but so what?" "You know, it was enough to justify me being there." "And you didn't need to give me shit because I brought carnations, O.K?" "I didn't get them because I was cheap." "I, I got them..." "I got them because I actually thought they were nice and, and I didn't know any better, all right?" "Besides, if she had it her way, she probably wouldn't want any fucking flowers to begin with considering how bad her allergies are..." "Or were, whatever." "And you know what?" "You're one to talk, you know, about tact." "The most tacky thing there was, was you bringing your, your cheesy-ass, uh, boy toy on a hot date to a fucking funeral, O.K?" "That's pretty fucking tacky if you ask me." "Which new guy is he?" "Is he the... is he the one, uh, with all the played-out tattoos?" "The, um, the tribal arm band and the, uh, the Chinese symbol for power and, uh," "Celtic and Egyptian shit that he..." "If you are satisfied with your message, please press 1." "If you would like to re-record your message, please press 2." "If you would like to play back your message, please press 3." "To repeat these options, press 4." "Please record message now." "Hey, it's me." "Give me a call back, please." "Bye." "[sighs]" "[engine shuts off]" "[car door opens, shuts]" "[snapping sound]" "Damn it." "[key clatters]" "[thumping]" "[clattering]" "[water running] [water stops] [microwave humming]" "[keyboard clicking]" "[man yells in foreign language]" "#" "[chanting] [drumming continues]" "[chanting, drumming continues]" "#" "Here, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty." "[clicking tongue]" "Come get it." "Come get it." "Kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty." "[drumming continues]" "Here, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty." "Here, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty." "[man meowing] [can opener cranking]" "[crickets chirping]" "Here, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty." "Here, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty." "Kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty." "[bird chirping]" "[faint whirring]" "[phone ringing]" "Hello?" "[knocking]" "You guys wanted to see me?" "Yeah, take a seat, if you would." "Uh, we've got slight change that we need to make." "Um, O.K." "We are going to need you to let Alvin go." "Um..." "Oh, you mean to, to fire him?" "We're gonna need you to let him go for us." "O.K., um..." "What, uh, what, what for?" "What happened?" "Uh, just, just tell him that, um, it wasn't working out, that it wasn't, uh, it wasn't a perfect match, um, that the, uh, that, the synergy was not... correct." "When do you want me to, to tell him?" "Right now would, would be ideal." "And also, um, you could then fill in, uh, takin' over some of his duties on the floor..." "Would be great." "Well... that's not, that's not what I do." "I, I mean, I'm..." "I'm above that." "I mean, I, I don't..." "I did that a long time ago and, um..." "Well, that's, that's just not my scene." "Um, I mean, those guys..." "Those guys, they're always farting on each other and, and, and lighting each others' farts and endless, you know, and..." "And calling each other "bitch tits" and..." "Sure, sure." "It means a lot to us, your willingness to, to help us out." "I mean, this is a tough thing, you know." "Anytime a void is created, um, it's tough on everyone..." "Tough on us." "But is it, is it, uh, temporary?" "It's temporary for now." "It would be really terrific if you could take care of that for us." "[stall door squeaks]" "[sighs]" "[urinal flushing] [zipping sound]" "Hi, Alvin." "How's it goin'?" "Um..." "Uh, Terry and Curtis, uh, asked that I come, uh, talk to you." "Um, I'm afraid that we have to let you go." "You mean, like fired?" "Yes." "No, like, uh..." "Just, you know, just letting you go." "Did they say why?" "Um, mmm, just that it wasn't working out." "Um..." "Look, I..." "You know, I, I don't know why." "They didn't say why." "Um, I was pulling for you." "I'm just a puppet and, um, you know, they told me what to say and I'm just, you know, regurgitating it to you." "And I'm, you know, I'm, I'm, you know, right there with you on this." "I, I'm just..." "You know, just doin' what they say." "Uh-huh." "Um, do, do you think they'd let me finish takin' a shit first?" "Yes, totally." "All right." "You know, I don't want to rush you or anything." "You know, you can take..." "as much time as you need." "Thanks." "Here, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty." "Here, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty." "[mechanical humming and beeping]" "[computer mouse clicks]" "[keyboard clicking]" "[clicking continues...] [printer whirring]" "[siren wailing]" "[insects buzzing, staple gun clicking]" "[children chattering]" "Excuse me, uh..." "Have you seen that cat?" "Is this one yours?" "Yeah, I'm afraid it is." "Why'd you call it Goliath?" "Uh, it just seemed like a cool name." "I don't know." "I got him a long time ago." "Did he run away from you?" "No, I doubt it, at least, um, at least not intentionally." "He wouldn't do that." "I'm sure he's just confused and, you know, wandered away." "Uh, he's very happy." "He's really old." "If it's fancy, you think maybe someone stole it?" "Probably not." "He's you know, he's a total sweetheart, but he's, he's not a show cat or a purebred or anything like that, just..." "I don't know." "This neighborhood used to be good." "I've lived here about nine years." "Just last month I got my house appraised and it went down 5% because there's a sex offender in the neighborhood now." "Man, I can't believe it." "Are you serious?" "Yep." "Well..." "Where does he live?" "A couple of blocks that way, I think, in Sweetbriar." "I looked it up online in the sex offender database." "It's weird." "I never thought, uh..." "You know, anyone like that lived in, lived in our area, you know?" "It's terrible, is what it is." "It's just terrible." "Yeah, it's, it's really strange." "Well, uh, thanks for the information and, uh, you know, I'm offering a reward, so keep on the lookout, you know, if you see anything." " Good luck." " Thank you." "[gears whirring and cranking]" "[various men] Get the balance!" "Get him by the neck and pull..." "I got him!" "Put his head in your balls." "Suck a dick!" "I just got a hand full of nut." "I got 25 bucks on Carlos." "Come on, Johnson." "Squeeze his head, squeeze his head." "Squeeze his head!" "172 days without an accident." "Who's the master, now, fucker?" "Say my name, bitch!" "Say it!" "Reach in there and grab it." "I was like, "Oh, fuck."" "A friend of mine got bit by a black widow on his dick." "Come on." "I've seen it." "I know what the fuck that is." "I love that movie." "Um, preparing..." "I think he played football, the last I heard of him." "[chattering]" "Did she shave her beaver?" "No, you just take it." "Yes, they do." "There's a recycling post." "If you're gonna be able to take a bomb, take the nuclear bomb..." "That's the stupidest idea ever." "[burping] A-B-C-D-E-F... [laughter, applause]" "#" "[water gurgles]" "[phone rings]" "Hello?" "Where are you?" "I know, I know, I know, I know." "I'm just running a few minutes late." "I'm almost there." "I'll be there in a second, O.K?" "Uh-huh..." "O.K." "O.K., all right." "Be there in a sec." "Bye." "[wailing siren approaching]" "[horn honks]" "It's a very popular place." "No, it's off of..." "Wichita, I think." "No, I didn't hear, but I'm glad that you told me in case I run into them." "But only steak fingers." "[door opens, shuts]" "Oh, the other guy..." "He's here now." "All right." "I will talk to you later." "Yeah, tonight." "O.K., bye-bye." "How are you?" "Sorry I'm late." "Do you know we're getting charged by the hour, don't you?" "We'll go halfsies on it, don't worry." "Uh, let's see." "Where to begin?" "O.K., you are gold..." "and you'll be lime." "I need initials here and here and signatures on these tabs." "O.K., exchange documents and sign here, here, and initial on these tabs." "Is that it?" "[car engine turns on, horn honks] [whistles]" "What?" "Look, we're never gonna come to a consensus as to who did what first, and that's fine, O.K?" "But there's one thing I wanna make clear." "For what it's worth, on my end, lt... was just two fingers, O.K?" "That's it, nothing." "And, um... so in my opinion, a couple of fingers don't count, all right?" "Um..." "I just wanted to say that." "Disgusting." "I don't wanna hear it." "It's disgusting, gross." "And even, uh..." "And even though it didn't work out for you and that guy in the long run, you know, which is, uh, why I guess you're now with that, that tattooed gentleman..." "You know, what you did was, uh, out of love." "Your cheating - it was out of love." "Mine was just out of dumb lust, which barely counts, you know, is nothing." "It may as well have been with a piece of meat." "Seriously." "I mean, you know, love is everything, O.K?" "And so, so what I did is like nothing in comparison to you." "I mean, it was just two fucking fingers." "Do you understand that?" "Do you understand how nothing that is?" " Are you done?" " Yeah, are you?" "!" "I'm not trying to change anything." "I'm just trying to say it, O.K?" "Hey!" "Hey, guess what..." "I smoke inside the house now!" "[saw buzzes loudly]" "[saw buzzes]" "[saw turns off, sputters]" "[can opener cranking]" "Goliath!" "[horns honk]" "[insects buzzing, birds chirping]" "#" "[clanking]" "[crickets chirping] [thud]" "[slurping, bubbling]" "[liquid sloshes] [opener snaps]" "[smoke alarm beeps]" "[sustained beeping] [beeping stops]" "[elevator dings]" "The thing you do is bet on a horse that pisses." "That's, like, the rule of thumb because it's the lightest." "I'll tell you a terrible pussy-eating story." "Have you heard of..." "You know when people got that bush-broom mustache?" "Who's that guy that played "Magnum P.I."?" "Tom Selleck." "Tom Selleck." "They call that a nut duster." "A nut duster?" "Yeah, that's what..." "It's a good little slang term for that type of bush-broom mustache." "She said, "This is for Carlos," and took off her shirt." "And my friend, Brendon, was filming her the whole time." "Later on, we went to the eighth grade dance and she showed up and had someone get me to come out there and she was in, uh, an overcoat with nothing underneath." "[laughing, chattering]" "Look, when you drink tequila, you get sick off tequila, you know what I mean?" "It takes seven years for you to be able to even smell the stuff again because that's how long it takes every cell of your body to..." "You have one cell left in your body that still didn't like tequila..." "You go, "Oh, I don't like it," whatever." "But all your fingernails, your heart muscles, every brain, regenerates itself." "I have been here for seven years." "That means, basically..." "Where is he going?" " Hey, where's he goin'?" " Where's he fuckin' goin'?" "Welcome to our world, bitch tits!" "Welcome to our world, bitch tits!" "Come join the fun!" "[laughter] [keyboard clicking]" "[musical beeping]" "[engine starts]" "[turn signal clicking]" "[engine and radio turn off]" "[birds chirp, door alarm beeps]" "[door opens]" "Are you Chad P. Franklin?" "[voice box buzzes]" "Why do you want to know?" "Look, I know what you did, O.K?" "Everyone in the whole neighborhood does." "You know, this used to be a really nice place here." "Well, if you ask me, this still is a really nice place... if you have a positive attitude." "Is that all you came over here for?" "Y..." "Yes." "We've gotta go back inside and finish doing my dishes... if that's all right with you." "Whatever." "O.K., great..." "Idiot." "[door shuts, lock clicks]" "[phone beeps, dials] [phone rings]" "Sabovich, private investigator." "Hi, I've the... the 2:30 appointment." "Um, uh..." "I'm looking for the office..." "But all I'm finding at this address is a boutique." "Yes, that's my wife's business." "Just go right through the front and I'll be here." "Oh..." "O.K." "Excuse me, um..." "He's in the back." "O.K." "Hi, how are you?" "Oliver Sabovich, P.I." "Nice to meet you." "Thank you for your time." "No problem." "I guess I should tell you up front that..." "I have a, uh," "I have a coupon from the phone book." "This is an ad, not a coupon." "Really?" "So how can I help you?" "Well, um..." "Basically I wanted to find out about enlisting your services." "I have a cat that was very dear to me, um, that... was recently killed." "And I wanted to find out what happened." "How was it killed?" "By a car, you know, by a person driving a car." "Near your house?" "Uh, same general neighborhood, yeah." "I believe, uh, the car swerved, uh, to intentionally... hit the cat." "You know, presumably, uh, murder." "Well, technically, that's not murder." "Intentionally or unintentionally, animals are killed." "Only humans can be murdered." "And, of course, only very important humans can be assassinated." "Look, I'm gonna be straight with you." "It's unfortunate, but this is not the kind of thing that I cover." "I deal with more traditional things:" "surveillance, insurance fraud, whatnot." "I don't mean to sound callous, but this is just not my cup of tea." "Road kill, that sort of thing happens all the time." "It's just nature's way." "Well, I don't know if this will make any, uh, difference or not, but..." "For what it's worth, I do have, uh, a lead as to who I think the culprit may be." "Then it seems like you don't really need me after all." "[copy machine rattling]" "Hey, how's it goin'?" "Do you know about the tray of non-dairy creamers we keep by the wall in the break room?" "Uh, yeah?" "Well, it seems that someone went in and decided to squeeze them really hard, exploding them and makin' a big mess." "Do you know anything about that?" "Uh, no." "Are you sure?" "Yeah, um..." "But I don't know." "You might wanna go ask the, uh, the other guys." "Well, you see, we took a look at the security camera footage and we happened to see you in the break room, squeezing these creamers hard and exploding them." "What do you have to say about that?" "Do you wanna talk about it?" "No, no." "It's O.K." "Well, Juanita had to go into the break room and clean up that big mess." "It was a pain for her, very unfortunate." "Well, you know, I'm sure that was lousy." "Yeah, it is." "Uh..." "Well, anyway, if you need me, I'll be in my office." "Feel free to call me, send me an e-mail or contact me in any other way." "Again, we're all disappointed in you." "So why don't you just stand here and think about this for a while." "O.K." "[beatboxing...]" "Oh, yeah, baby!" "Oh, yeah!" "Ro..." "Bo..." "Tron..." "Yeah!" "Slow pop!" "[rhythmic thumping, clapping]" "Ro..." "Bo..." "Tron..." "Oh..." "Yeah..." "Ro..." "Bo..." "Tron..." "Oh..." "Yeah..." "Oh..." "Yeah..." "Whoa, watch your head!" "It's been about 50 pounds." "Oh..." "Yeah... [metallic clattering]" "[truck beeps and hisses]" "[siren wails faintly]" "[phone beeps, dials] [phone rings]" "What do you want?" "I thought we weren' supposed to talk anymore." "Wait, hear me out!" "O.K., look..." "I got somethin' important to say!" "For what it's worth..." "I'm sorry, O.K?" "At least for my part!" "Speak into the phone." "I said for what it's worth, I'm sorry..." "For my part!" "Fine, whatever." "[phone hangs up]" "Hello?" "Hello?" "[phone beeps, dials] [phone rings]" "What?" "!" "I didn't know if you hung up on purpose or if we just got disconnected." "Take a wild guess." "Yeah, well, get a load of this..." "Goliath has been killed!" "Murdered!" "What do you think of that?" "!" "You're full of crap!" "Hey!" "Are you the motherfucker they call bitch tits?" "No!" "Yeah?" "Well, check this shit out." "[lighter clicking]" "[lawn mower buzzes]" "[mower sputters and stops]" "Damn it." "Goliath!" "Here, kitty, kitty, kitty." "Kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty." "Goliath..." "Goliath!" "Here, kitty, kitty, kitty." "Goliath?" "[saw buzzes]" "What the hell are you doin' here?" "!" "What happened to Goliath?" "None of your business." "He's not yours and he never was." "I had him way before I knew you." "O.K., so what happened to him?" "Were you fucking with me or did something really go wrong?" "He's fine, O.K?" "Now, why don't you just stick to your restraining order and get out of here before I turn your guts into a hula skirt!" "[saw buzzes]" "You're crazy!" "Go!" "Get, get, get!" "Go!" "[horn honks]" "Get the fuck away from my car!" "[deep, rhythmic drumming]" "[chanting in foreign language]" "#" "[drumming continues]" "#" "[saw buzzing]" "[air hisses]" "[metallic buzzing]" "[saw continues buzzing...] [no dialogue]" "[buzzing stops] [grunting]" "[door locks, voice box buzzing] [whimpering] [spray hisses] [screaming and squealing]" "Why are you doing this?" "I never did anything to you." "Shut up!" "Shut the fuck up!" "You shut the... [spray hissing] [choking]" "Why did you do that to Goliath?" "!" "Why did you kill him?" "What did he ever do to you?" "What did he ever do to you?" "He was such a sweet fucking cat." "He never did anything wrong!" "He never crapped or peed in the house." "He never scratched on the furniture." "He was really goddamn sweet." "Why did you fucking do that?" "He was all I had left." "He was all I had left!" "[sobbing]" "[water running]" "[birds chirping]" "Get out." "Get." "Scram!" "Get!" "#" "# O.K. by me #" "# If you are down #" "# I'll make you feel a warmth in through your heart #" "# When I see you, I'll fall in love with you #" "# You'd never let me, but I'd die for you... #" "# And then I'll feel myself caving in... #" "# I'll make you feel #" "# My heart is flying out #" "# I'll make you feel a warmth in through your heart #" "# I'll make you feel a warmth inside your heart #" "# I'll make you feel a warmth in through your heart #" "Subtitles by LeapinLar"