"Look!" "It's Turbo Man and Booster!" "Kill them both!" "TURBO MAN:" "Turbo discs, anyone?" " Ow!" " Ah!" " Ow!" " Bleh!" "VILLAIN:" "Stop him!" "DEMONS:" "Go, go, Demon Team!" "BO Y:" "Help, Turbo Man!" "Help!" "TURBO MAN:" "I'm coming, Billy!" " Ta-ta, Turbo Man." " Ah!" "Ah." "Heh heh heh!" "COMPUTER:" "Five seconds to ignition." "Aah!" "Ha ha ha ha ha!" "It's turbo time!" "BILLY:" "Aah!" "TURBO MAN:" "Got you." "BO Y:" "Yay!" "VILLAIN:" "You haven't seen the last of me!" "I'll have my revenge!" "TURBO MAN:" "Here, Mr. President." "BILLY:" "Mom, Dad, Booster." "Thank you, Turbo Man." "You can always count on me." "WOMAN:" "Jamie, go and change." "It's almost time to leave." "But dad's not home yet." "He's going to miss me get my belt." "He misses everything." "He won't miss this." "He's probably just working really hard." "]Rock music playing]" "RONNIE SPECTOR SINGING:" "Rockin' around the Christmas tree" "At the Christmas party hop" "Mistletoe hung where you can see" "Every couple tries to stop" "Rockin' around the Christmas tree" "Have a happy holiday" "Everyone dancing merrily" "Hello, Mr. Jacobs." "Yes, we've been busy." "I like that." "I'm gonna make it." "I hear you." "What can I do for you?" "Two hundred king-sized by next Friday?" "No problem whatsoever, but only for you." "You're our number one customer." "Andrea, hi." "If you think the fabric is too dark, we'll re-cover it." "At no extra charge." "What do you expect?" "You're my number one customer." "Don't you forget." "You're my number one customer." "You're my number one customer." "Liz." "Hi, honey." "How are you?" " Howard, where are you?" " I know." "Jamie's karate class." "Don't worry." "I'll meet you there." "I promise." "And don't forget, you're my number one customer." "Liz!" "Look, I didn't mean that." "L..." "Liz?" "I'm going to make it." "I'm going to make it." "He's not gonna make it." "What the... ]Car horns honking]" "]Applause]" "MAN:" "Johnny!" " The kids look great." " Yeah, they do." "WOMAN:" "Ted, I baked you some cookies... to thank you for fixing my screen door." "TED:" "Well, thanks, Judy." "INSTRUCTOR:" "One!" "STUDENTS:" "Hai!" "INSTRUCTOR:" "Two!" "STUDENTS:" "Hai!" "WOMAN:" "Ted, I was wondering if you'd mind... taking a look at my porch light." "It's not working, and you being such a handyman..." "TED:" "I've got just the tool for the job." "]Chuckling]" "I'm gonna make it." "]Siren]" "Damn it." "STUDENTS:" "Hai!" "INSTRUCTOR:" "Two!" "STUDENTS:" "Hai!" "INSTRUCTOR:" "Three!" "STUDENTS:" "Hai!" "INSTRUCTOR:" "Four!" "STUDENTS:" "Hai!" "INSTRUCTOR:" "Five!" "STUDENTS:" "Hai!" "License and registration, please." "HOWARD:" "Sir, I'm in a hurry." "I'm late for my son's karate class." "I do apologize if I've caused you some sort of delay." "How thoughtless of me." "Because the last thing I want on my conscience right now... is for a private citizen to somehow be disappointed... in the performance of my duty." "Look, I was not criticizing you, officer." " It's just that..." " Step out of the vehicle." "Yah!" "That's my boy!" "HOWARD:" "There." "Are we finished now?" "Recite the alphabet." "A, B, C..." "Backwards." "Hyah!" "]Applause]" "Way to go, Jamie!" "]Whistles]" "I didn't make it." "]Car alarm chirps]" "TED:" "Hey, neighbor!" "HOWARD:" "Ted?" "Why are you on my roof?" "What's Ted doing on your roof?" "TED:" "Ta-da!" "Ha ha ha!" "I had some extra lights." "Since you didn't put up any, I thought, what the heck?" "Why not spread some Christmas cheer around the neighborhood?" "Aw, gee, Ted, how thoughtful." "TED:" "Sorry you missed the karate class today." "But don't worry." "I got it all on video for you." "What would I do without you?" "HOWARD:" "Did you tell Ted to put lights up?" "LIZ:" "Do you know what time it is?" "You should have seen the traffic." "And I got a speeding ticket." "Don't explain to me." "It wasn't my karate class you missed." "]Television playing]" "HOWARD:" "Hi, buddy." "TV ANNOUNCER:" "It's turbo time!" "It's your chance to save the universe with Turbo Man!" "Battle evil with America's favorite superhero... and his sidekick Booster." "HOWARD:" "Jamie, about the karate class tonight..." "I was trying to..." "Jamie." "Jamie, stop!" "Listen, it was not my fault." "Don't walk away from your father." "Jamie... can I come in?" "So, champ..." "Are those hands registered weapons yet?" "Oh, is this it?" "Wow!" "This is really cool." "How do you do this?" "Like this?" "No." "I know." "Like this." "What do you think?" "How about this?" "]Grunting]" "Whaah!" "Yah!" "Whoa!" "Yah!" "Woo!" "Nyah!" "Ha!" "I've done something really stupid today." "JAMIE:" "I don't care." "Oh, come on, Jamie." "I hope this is not true... because I really wanted to be there." "Look, believe me, I..." "JAMIE:" "You always say that, and you never come anyways." "Purple was important to me, Dad." "That's one away from green and three away from black." " I saw you get yellow." " You missed blue." "You're right." "I really blew it." "I'm really, really sorry." "Can I make it up to you?" "Like how?" "Like letting me do something special just for you." "Like, if there's something really important... you've been wanting for Christmas." "Hmm?" "Don't worry." "I got it covered." "I wrote Santa." "HOWARD:" "But Santa gets very busy this time of the year." "Sometimes he even has to ask moms and dads to help out." "Nah." "It's not that important." "Tell me." "What do you want?" "The Turbo Man action figure with movable arms and legs... and the boomerang shooter, the rock-and-roar jet pack... and the realistic voice activator... that says five different phrases including, 'It's turbo time!" "'" "Accessories sold separately." "Batteries not included." "Ha ha ha!" "You had to stop and think about it." "Johnny's gonna get one." "So is everybody else I know." "Whoever doesn't is going to be a loser." "Well, that definitely won't be you." " Thanks, Dad." "I love you." " I love you, too, Jamie." " I love you!" " Whoa!" "HOWARD:" "You should have seen us." "We were really bonding." "We were drawing, laughing, talking about that Turbo guy." "LIZ:" "Turbo Man." "Which reminds me..." "you got the doll, right?" "The doll." "LIZ:" "Yeah." "That Turbo Man doll." " I asked you to get one." " Oh." "That doll." "Of course." "Howard, you didn't." "Tell me you did not forget that doll." "No, no." "I got it." "I got the Turbo Man doll, the one with those things that shoot, with that jet pack, and with that voice box that says, 'It's turbo time.'" " I got it." " Oh, good." "There you are." "You thought that I would not do something that you tell me?" "I got it right away." "Ahh." "Good." "Because at this point, they'd be impossible to find." "RADIO ANNOUNCER:" "KORS, Minneapolis." "We'll do the rocking while you fill the stocking." "]'Run Run Rudolph' playing]" "LIZ:" "Wait." "Whoa." "Where you going?" "I just have to run to the office quickly." "Howard, it's Christmas Eve." "You can't go to the office." "I have to pick up the d-o-l-I." "HOWARD:" "I left it there by mistake." "Oh." "OK." " All right." " Bye." "JAMIE:" "You can't go to work today." " What about the parade?" " The parade?" "JAMIE:" "The Holiday Wintertainment Parade." " We go every year." " Oh." "JAMIE:" "Well, you didn't go last year or the year before, but Mom and I always go." "This year Turbo Man's going to be there." "LIZ:" "Yeah." "Turbo Man." "HOWARD:" "Turbo Man." "'It's turbo time.'" "Dad, you can't miss it." "It's gonna be really cool." "I won't miss it." "I'll be there." "I promise." "Whoa!" "]Car alarm chirps]" "]Snorting]" "TED:" "Whoa!" "Sorry about that, Howie." "What's that, a reindeer?" "A little Christmas surprise for Johnny." "You think of everything, don't you, Ted?" "Howard, you can never do too much... to make a child's Christmas magical." "So what happens to Blitzen after Christmas?" "I've been watching a family of deer down by Lake Minnetonka." "I'll take him down there and set him free." "If nature's kind, they'll take him in." "How touching." "Buddy." "How are you?" "]Snarling]" "TED:" "Whoa." "That's odd." "Reindeer are usually gentle." "There must be something about you he doesn't like... aftershave or something." "Yeah." "All right, got to go." "Where you off to so early?" "Picking up a Christmas present for Jamie." "Whoa!" "Nothing like waiting till the last minute, Howitzer." " So what did you get him?" " One of those Turbo Mans." "Oh." "That's great." "I got a Turbo Man for Johnny months ago." "It's nestled safely under our tree." "Good." "Howard, by the way, they say it may get icy later." "You might want to wrap some chains around those tires." "]Under breath] I'll wrap chains around you." "What?" "Come on." "DARLENE LOVE SINGING:" "Just hear those sleigh bells ringing" "And ding ding a-ling-a-linging, too" "Come on, it's lovely weather" "For a sleigh ride together with you" "Outside the snow is falling" "And friends are calling yoo-hoo" "Come on, it's lovely weather" "For a sleigh ride together with you" "HOWARD:" "What time you opening?" "Come on." "It's freezing out here." "There's a hundred people..." "Because of two minutes you're not... ]Crowd grumbling]" "MAILMAN:" "Give him a break!" "He's trying to get a toy!" "Go ahead." "Have cuts, man." " Last-minute shopping?" " Yeah." "Enough to drive a man insane." "Myron Larabee." "Howard Langston." "I'm shopping late because I'm busy at Christmastime." "People send Christmas letters... to folks they don't talk to but once a year, not to mention relatives sending presents... they're going to send back." "How many toiletry kits does a man need?" "How about those stupid letters from kids to Santa?" "MYRON, WITH CHILD'S VOICE:" "'Dear Santa, send me a bike.'" "No!" "Your father's been laid off!" "As if I didn't have enough pressure, my son wants some goofy-butt toy, some fruity robot named Turtle Man." "That's Turbo Man." "My son wants one, too." "You know it's all a ploy." "HOWARD:" "A ploy?" "MYRON:" "Don't you watch TV?" "We are being set up by powerful toy cartels." " Come on." " These fat cats... use working-class like me and you." "They spend billions of dollars on TV advertisement, and then they use subliminal messages... to suck your children's minds out!" "I know what I'm talking about." "I went to junior college." "I studied psychology." "I know what's going on." "Then they make a kid feel like garbage... because you, the father, who's working 24-7, delivering mail to make an alimony payment to a woman... that slept with everybody at the post office but me!" "When you get the toy, it breaks because it's cheap plastic!" "I'd like to walk in that office, grab him, and just choke him until his eye pops out!" "You shouldn't wear fur." "Ugh!" "MYRON:" "Back up." "I'm first." "Turbo Man, you're mine!" "MYRON:" "Move it, move it!" "MAN:" "Whoa!" "MYRON:" "Move, move!" "MYRON:" "Get out my way!" "MYRON:" "Booster?" "Who wants Booster?" "HOWARD:" "The Turbo Man dolls..." "they're all gone!" "MYRON:" "There's another one here." "HOWARD:" "There are none!" "I'm trying to find a Turbo Man doll." " Me, too!" " Any more in the back?" "Ha ha ha!" " What?" " What's he laughing about?" "Ha ha ha ha ha!" "CLERK:" "They want a Turbo Man." "HOWARD:" "Yes." "Ha ha ha ha ha!" "CLERK:" "They're looking for Turbo Man." "Ha ha ha!" "WOMAN:" "Hey, everybody, they're looking for a Turbo Man." "]Everybody laughing]" "MYRON:" "Shut up, man!" "HOWARD:" "What's so funny?" "Where have you guys been?" "Turbo Man's the hottest-selling Christmas toy ever." "CLERK:" "We got plenty of Turbo Man's partner Booster." "Where's your Christmas spirit?" "That's better." "Now, there must be a Turbo Man around here somewhere." "Uh..." "Duh..." "The last one just left." "Some lady had it on layaway." "A lady?" "What lady?" "CLERK:" "Short, with a fur coat." "HOWARD:" "Fur coat." "MYRON:" "Sorry, buddy." "MYRON:" "Heh heh heh!" "HOWARD:" "Give me this." "This is war." "MYRON:" "Ha ha ha!" "Whoo!" "Uh!" "HOWARD:" "Yeah!" "BO Y:" "Cool." "Oh, poor baby." "MYRON:" "Turbo Man." "Ah!" "Hey, lady!" "Hey, hold it!" "Wait!" "Wait, lady!" "I need that Turbo Man!" "Wait!" "BRIAN SETZER SINGING:" "Jingle bells" "Jingle bells" "Jingle all the way" "Oh, what fun it is to ride" "In a '57 Chevrolet" "Jingle bells" "Jingle bells" "Jingle all the way" "Oh, what fun it is to ride" "In a one-horse open sleigh" "Awoo!" "Hey!" "Dashing through the snow" "In a one-horse open sleigh" "Over those fields we go" "Laughing, laughing, laughing, laughing" "Bells on bobtails ring" "Making those spirits bright" "What fun it is to ride and sing" "A sleighing song tonight" "Awoo!" "Jingle bells" "Jingle, jingle, jingle all the way" "Oh, what fun it is to ride" "In a '57 Chevrolet" "In a '57 Chevrolet" "Jingle bells" "Jingle bells" "Jingle all the way" "Oh, what fun it is to ride" "In a one-horse" "Open" "Sleigh" "JAMIE:" "I'm Turbo Man." "BO Y:" "I am." "You're always Turbo Man." "Hey, hey, hey." "Cut it out." " Hi, Liz." " Oh, hi, Ted." "TED:" "It's Christmas Eve, and you're slaving over a stove." "You're the mom of the year." "LIZ:" "It's no big deal." "Really." "TED:" "And modest, too." "LIZ:" "Ohh." "TED:" "Liz... you could use a little You Time." "Why don't you go upstairs, take a shower?" "I'll watch the boys, finish the cookies." "LIZ:" "Oh, no..." "TED:" "Da-da-da." "Go on." "You deserve it." "LIZ:" "Uh..." "Oh, well, OK." " Listen for the oven timer." " I know." "Sugar cookies." "Bake 12-15 minutes till golden brown." " Yeah." " Everything's under control." "]Kids play-fighting]" "Oh!" "Pipe down in there!" "]Telephone ringing]" "TED:" "Merry Christmas." "Langston residence." "HOWARD:" "Hi, I..." "Ted?" "Howard!" "Hey, buddy." "How's it going out there?" "Everything OK?" "HOWARD:" "Yeah." "I need to speak to Liz." "Could you get... ]Ted moans]" "Howard, excuse me." "Your wife's cookies are out of this world." "What..." "Who told you you could eat my cookies?" "TED:" "I'm helping Liz out." "She's baking up a storm here." "HOWARD:" "I need to speak to my wife." "Could you get her?" "TED:" "She's in the shower." "Want me to check?" "No!" "I mean, no, that's fine." "On your way out, tell her I will be late, but don't worry." "TED:" "Oh, she won't worry." "I mean, I'm here, and..." "Mmm!" "Oh, these cookies!" "I'll get the recipe from Liz." "Put that cookie down!" "Now!" "Howard, is there something bothering you?" "This time of year, there's a very high incidence of stress-related breakdowns." "]Bell rings]" "There's the next batch." "I'll give Liz your message." "Bye." "Yeah, but..." "MYRON:" "Look who it is!" "HOWARD:" "Oh..." "MYRON:" "Still on the hunt?" "HOWARD:" "Yeah." "MYRON:" "Sorry about whacking you at the toy store." "I got caught up in the competition." "HOWARD:" "That's all right." "MYRON:" "You'd have done the same thing." "That's when I realized we're the same kind of person." "HOWARD:" "I doubt that." "MYRON:" "That brouhaha at the toy store... we could join up as a team, like Starsky and Hutch, like Jonny Ouest and Hadji," "Bonnie and Clyde, Ike and Tina..." "Not Ike and Tina... she left." "Search and destroy." "Divide and conquer." "Me and you." "What do you say?" "Thanks, Myron, but, no, thank you." "MYRON:" "Come on, let's do it." "Let's be a team!" "Myron, I think you're a good guy and all." "This I will do by myself." "You understand, right?" "Oh, yeah, I understand you, man!" "MYRON:" "I understand plenty," "Mr. Fancy Cashmere Coat And Nice Suede Shoes." "I'm not good enough to be on your team!" "See, that's racism." "Jesse Jackson talked about that." "MAN:" "They got a late delivery of Turbo Man at Toy Works!" " Turbo Man!" " Turbo Man!" "MYRON:" "Whoa!" "Whoo-hoo!" "]Car alarm chirps]" "Uh!" "Uh!" "Piece of junk!" "]Engine revving]" "Oh." " Officer." " You broke my little mirror." "License and registration, please." "MYRON:" "Whoo!" "Is there a problem, officer?" "Ha ha ha!" "TOM PETTY SINGING:" "Well, it's Christmastime again" "Decorations" "Are all hung" "By the fire" "Everybody's singing" "MAN OVER P. A:" "Listen up, people." "To answer your first question..." "yes, the rumors are true." "We have received a small quantity... of the action figure known as Turbo Man." "Yes!" "MAN OVER P. A:" "Please be quiet." "Do you hear me?" "Here's how it works." "You will form an orderly line... so that an employee can hand you a numbered ball." "These balls will then be drawn in a standard lottery fashion... to see who gets a doll." "If you're not one of the lucky few, we have Turbo Man's pet tiger Booster in stock." "MYRON:" "We don't want it!" "HOWARD:" "Who wants a Booster?" "In accordance with the laws of supply and demand, the new list price on each figure just doubled." "MYRON:" "What?" "That's against the law!" "Hey, give me a ball!" "JOHNNY MATHIS SINGING:" "It's the most wonderful time" "Of the year" "With the kids jingle-belling" "And everyone telling you, 'Be of good cheer'" "It's the most wonderful time" "It's the most wonderful time" "Aah!" "SONG:" "Of the year" "I got it!" "]Spraying]" "Aah!" "MYRON:" "I got it!" "HOWARD:" "He maced me!" "MYRON:" "Ha ha ha!" "I got it!" "Whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo." "He got two!" "He got two!" "Get the mailman!" "MYRON:" "No!" "HOWARD:" "Get him!" "MYRON:" "He's lying." "He's lying." "MYRON:" "That's my ball!" "Rodney King." "Rodney King." "CHILD:" "Hey!" "Hey!" "Aah!" "This is my ball!" "Yeah." "Stay." "Ah!" "Aah!" "Ah." "Hi, little girl." "Look what I've got for you." "A shiny red ball." "Do you want to trade?" "No!" "Just give me the ball." "I got it..." "Ow!" "WOMAN:" "Sicko!" "Pervert!" " Get your hands off my kid!" " I need the ball." "I need that toy!" "WOMAN:" "Get out of here!" "You wacko!" "HOWARD:" "I need that toy!" "WOMAN:" "Pervert!" "I'm not a pervert!" "I was looking for Turbo Man doll." "SANTA:" "Hey." "Psst." "Buddy, come here." "Come here." "You want a Turbo Man?" "I won't sit on your lap." "SANTA:" "Hey, chief, that's not my bag." "Get it?" "Ha!" "Well, you know, little boy, with your attitude," "I won't give you access to this." "Tony, show him." "That was taken this morning." "How do I know this is not a scam?" "SANTA:" "Forget it, Tony." "He doesn't want our help." "HOWARD:" "Whoa." "Wait a minute, guys." "We're all businessmen." "We can work out an agreement." "SANTA:" "We got the doll." "HOWARD:" "How much?" "SANTA:" "Ho ho ho!" "A merry Christmas." "Ho ho ho!" "A merry Christmas to you, officer." "What are you, crazy?" "Santa never delivers a gift in broad daylight." "Excuse me." "I may be wrong, but you are not the real Santa Claus." "Really?" "You're not a guy who's got enough foresight... to get his kid a Turbo Man before Christmas Eve." "Hey, show a little respect for the suit, huh?" "Yeah." "You want that doll or not?" "SANTA SINGING:" "I feel sorry for that laddie" "HOWARD:" "Come on." "I got a parade to go to." "I've yet to see a sign of that supposed Turbo Man doll." "SANTA:" "Take a left." "SANTA SINGING:" "He's a little boy who Santa Claus forgot" "TONY:" "Beautiful." "]Dog barking]" "SANTA:" "Up here." "Oh, I love this time of year." "Christmas carols, snowflakes, Santa Clauses." "HOWARD:" "Now what?" "SANTA:" "Are you Dan Rather?" "Is this '60 Minutes'?" "You the question king?" "Chill!" "SANTA:" "Keep your hands where I can see them." "]Raps out beat to 'Jingle Bells']" "Password." "Jingle bells..." "Batman smells." "CLARENCE CARTER SINGING:" "They call me back door Santa" "I make my runs about the break of day" "They call me back door Santa" " I know what you're thinking." " Oh, no." "You have no idea." "SANTA:" "Get him his Turbo Man." "TONY:" "Got it." "I got to tell you, Santa, there is something here... that doesn't seem quite, um, kosher." " Kosher?" " Yeah." "This from a guy who assaulted a toddler for a Super Ball?" "Listen, bub, we provide a service here." "We're not doing this for us." "We're doing this for the kids." "For the kids?" "For every kid who ever sat down on Santa's lap, for every little girl... who left cookies and milk for Santa on Christmas night, for every little boy who opens a present Christmas morning... and finds clothes instead of toys." "HOWARD:" "Aw." " It breaks my heart." " Ahem." "HOWARD:" "There it is." "SANTA:" "That will be 300." " Dollars?" " No." "Chocolate kisses." "Yes, dollars." "I can't believe this." "Whatever happened to your lofty ideals?" "I thought you were doing all this for the kids." "SANTA:" "Can't we pick up some loose change in the process?" "HOWARD:" "Here." "SANTA:" "Take it." "Count it." "Put it in the safe this time." "Don't open that up!" "DOLL: ¡Es el tiempo del Hombre de Turbo!" "That's the multilingual version." "It's fun and educational." "Don... you know, I wouldn't..." "Well, of course, there's some assembly required." "Let me get that for you." "SANTA:" "Put it in the box..." "HOWARD:" "Give me the money back." "SANTA:" "Ah, ah." "Whoa!" "All sales are final." "You know what you guys are?" "A bunch of sleazy con men in red suits." " What did you call us?" " You heard me." "Con men, thieves, degenerates, lowlifes, thugs, criminals!" "SANTA:" "In the North Pole, them are fighting words." " Put 'em up." " Relax, buddy." "I'm not about to hit a Santa Claus." "What are you, chicken?" "Chick, chick, chick." "Chick, chick, chick, chick!" "Bawk, bawk, bawk, bawk, bawk!" "Ba... aah!" "]Clang] Get him!" "]Karate yells]" "Whaa!" "Shut up." "Ha ha ha!" "]Santas cheering]" "GIANT SANTA:" "I'm gonna deck your halls." "Aah!" "Oh!" "LITTLE SANTA:" "No!" "Aah!" "GIANT SANTA:" "Little buddy." "SANTA:" "You naughty boy!" "HOWARD:" "Who's next, huh?" "HOWARD:" "Yiii!" "Aah!" "Dog pile!" "Yeah!" "]Police whistles]" "It's the Grinch!" "Scatter." "LITTLE SANTA:" "Hey, hey, hey, hey!" "]Thud]" "MAN:" "Hey!" "Hey, who are you?" "Huh?" "Hey." "Hey, buddy." "HOWARD:" "This is the sloppiest bust I've ever seen." "Detective Howard Lang..." "undercover." "I've been working this case for the last three years, and you guys barge in here... like a bunch of terrorists at a tea party!" "Wait till the commissioner finds out about this." "He is going to hit the roof!" "Now, get your act together and arrest someone!" " Go!" " Yes, sir!" "TONY:" "I'm not going back to the joint!" "HOWARD:" "All right, lock them up." "]Engine sputtering]" "Come on." "Come on." "Not now." "FRANK SINATRA SINGING:" "I'll be home" "For Christmas" "You" "Can plan" "On me" "I'll be home" "For Christmas..." "WOMAN:" "You're so considerate... bringing holiday cheer to the neighborhood." "Christmas comes but once a year." "You're an amazing man, Ted." "I wish every husband were more like you." "TED:" "Thanks." "We should get together and swap recipes." "What's the reindeer's name?" "I named him Ted after my dad." "Your dad is cool." "I wish my dad did stuff like this." "He never used to..." "not till he and Mom split." " Really?" " Your parents should divorce!" "Did wonders for my dad." "LIZ:" "Jamie?" "TED:" "Hot chocolate?" "]Telephone ringing]" " Hello?" " Jamie, how are you doing?" "Hi, Dad." "I knew you'd call." "HOWARD:" "Hey, listen, let me talk to your mother." "JAMIE:" "You can't." "HOWARD:" "Why not?" " She's next door petting Ted." " She's what?" "JAMIE:" "Are you on your way?" "The parade's starting soon." " Get your mother, please." " Well, are you?" " Am I what?" " Coming home soon." "Yes, immediately!" "Now please get your mother!" "JAMIE: 'Cause, Dad, before you left, you promised you'd be at the parade." "You haven't been here all day, so you can't miss it." "Jamie, please." "'Cause, Dad, when someone makes a promise, they definitely should keep it." "You know, it's like what Turbo Man says:" "'AIways keep your promises if you want to keep your friends.'" "HOWARD:" "Enough!" "Enough of this Turbo Man!" "I've had it up to here with him!" "I don't want advice from Turbo Man!" "Now, get your mother." "I'm sorry, Jamie." "Look..." "I didn't mean..." "What would you know about keeping your promises?" "!" "You never keep your promises!" "You never do anything you say you're going to do!" "Ever!" "Damn you, Howard." "COUNTERMAN:" "Here you go, my man." "This will warm you up." "HOWARD:" "Thanks." "MYRON:" "Cheers." " You?" "!" " Peace." " 'Tis the season to be jolly." " Right." "MYRON:" "Any luck in finding that doll?" " No." " Me, neither." "Maybe this will help." "]Blues music playing on jukebox]" "HOWARD:" "What the hell." "HOWARD:" "I couldn't find the kid a doll." " That makes me a bad father?" "No." " Nah." "But yelling at him for no good reason?" "That makes me a bad father." "One chance a year to prove we're not screwups, and what do we do?" "We screw it up!" "HOWARD:" "A few years ago," "I wanted to do something really special for Jamie... so..." "I built him his own clubhouse." "It came out great." "Well, I mean, the door was a little crooked, right?" "The roof didn't sit quite straight." "You should have seen his face light up." "When he saw that, he was so excited." "He played in that clubhouse the entire day." "He even made us have Christmas dinner in it." " No!" " Oh, yeah." "I was the hero then." "Look at me now." "That kid's going to need some serious therapy." "Oh, don't say that." "Mm-hmm." "I know what I'm talking about." "See, I never forgave my father." "One Christmas, I wanted this one special toy," "Johnny Seven O.M.A. Gun." " You remember those?" " No." "I still remember the commercial." "Two kids playing out in the backyard." "'Johnny to Peter." "Enemy sighted.'" "'Roger there!" "Open fire!" "'" "Johnny would whip out his Johnny Seven O.M.A. One-Man-Army Gun." " Seven guns in one!" " Huh." "]Chuckling]" "Thing looked like a blast." "Of course for my old man," "Christmas was just another opportunity to let me down." "I never did get that Johnny Seven O.M.A." "HOWARD:" "Sorry to hear that." "MYRON:" "It don't mean nothing." "You ever heard of a guy named Scott Sherman?" "Yeah." "CEO of Sherman Industries." "MYRON:" "He was my old neighbor, and his dad got him a Johnny Seven O.M.A. Gun." "You know what happened?" "He became a billionaire." "And me?" "Well... huh." "I'm just a loser with no future." "Here's to you, Dad." "Ahh." "HOWARD:" "I can't let this happen." "It's just a doll." "It's just a stupid little plastic doll!" "Ah-ah." "That's action figure." "There's got to be one around here somewhere!" "RADIO:" "Been looking everywhere for a Turbo Man doll?" "HOWARD:" "Yes." "RADIO:" "You'd do anything to get your hands on one?" "HOWARD:" "Yes, yes." "RADIO:" "KORS has good news for you." "If you're the first caller to identify Santa's reindeer, you will win the hottest toy since Johnny Seven O.M.A." "HOWARD:" "Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen," "Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen." "RADIO:" "Call 555-KORS." "HOWARD:" "No." "MYRON:" "I don't think so!" "Aah!" "Ohh!" "My arm!" "Aah!" "Aah!" "HOWARD:" "Come on." "MYRON:" "Give me the phone!" " Give me the phone!" " There you are!" "MAN ON PHONE:" "KORS." "Hello." "HOWARD:" "I got the answer!" "MYRON:" "You don't!" "MYRON:" "Ha ha ha ha ha!" "HOWARD:" "You!" "Why did you do that?" "I got through!" "I got through!" "COUNTERMAN:" "Hey, you guys, the radio station's just two blocks down on Wabasha." "HOWARD:" "I got the... answer!" "I got the answer!" "Bye-bye!" "Sorry!" "HOWARD:" "He barked up the wrong tree!" "HOWARD:" "He barked up the wrong tree!" "HOWARD:" "I can run like this for miles!" "Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen!" "Ha ha!" "Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen!" "Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen!" "Ha ha!" "I'm having a good time!" "Bye!" "Ha ha!" "Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen!" "Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen." "MAN:" "KORS, you're on the air." "HOWARD:" "Dasher, Dancer..." "CALLER:" "Randy, Jermaine, Tito." "MAN:" "Nope, not even close." "Maybe this will put us all in the mood..." "HOWARD:" "I got the answer!" "Let me in!" "I got the answer!" "I got the answer!" "Come on, open up!" "I got a madman in my studio." "Help me!" "Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen!" " What?" " I couldn't get through." " Did I win?" " No, it's not that simple!" "No!" "Wait, wait!" "You're too late!" "I've got the right answer!" "Ha ha!" "I don't need the right answer!" "I got this!" "And what's that?" "This, Mr. Track Star, is a homemade explosive device!" "A bomb?" "MYRON:" "Yes, in layman's terms, a bomb!" "So back up!" "You built a bomb?" "I didn't have to build a bomb." "These things come through the mail." "I just kept one in case I ever needed it." "So give me the doll, or I'll blow up this place!" "Are you out of your mind?" "Put this thing away!" " It's not worth it!" " It is to me, so back up!" "Myron!" "Come on, old buddy." "Give me the package, all right?" "MYRON:" "Did you call me buddy?" "HOWARD:" "Yeah." "MYRON:" "I'm not your buddy!" "I wanted to be your friend!" "But no!" "You had other plans for Myron Larabee!" "I had no plans." "You were no different than those civilians, those letter writers who laugh at my knee socks and safari hat." "]Whimpering]" "Are you laughing at me?" "Oh, no!" "Lord, no!" "Not at all!" "MYRON:" "Mr. Ponytail Man, I know your kind!" "You put the trash can in front of the mailbox... so I have to get out of my jeep!" " No, not true!" "I recycle!" " Shut up!" "MYRON:" "The window's there so I can just put the mail in." "But you act like everything's OK!" "'Hey, Mr. Mailman!" "' Like I have no feelings of my own!" " Hit the deck!" " Aah!" "]Music box plays 'Jingle Bells']" "Ooh!" "Ooh!" "]Sighs]" "MYRON:" "Look, I'm sorry." "It's the pressure of Zip-Plus-Four." "Don't hit me!" "I got sickle cell!" "MAN:" "Excuse me, gentlemen!" "Are you under the impression... that I have a Turbo Man doll here in the studio?" "MYRON:" "You said so on the radio." "MAN:" "Oh, no!" "HOWARD:" "You did." "MAN:" "No." "What I actually said was whoever won... would get a doll eventually." "Ha ha!" "You see, what we have here... is a gift certificate." " A gift certificate!" " Right!" "]AII shouting]" "As soon as they get some in the stores... ]Sirens approaching]" "HOWARD:" "Did you call the cops?" "MAN:" "Well, kind of." "MYRON:" "Let's go!" "But I'm going first!" "Heh heh heh!" "MYRON:" "Better luck next time, loser." "MAN:" "Freeze!" "MYRON:" "Hey!" "Hey, hey!" "Can't stay out of trouble, can you?" "You wouldn't hurt a fellow civil servant." "What's with this violence?" "It's Christmas." "I was just delivering..." "Hey!" "Back up!" "This is a homemade explosive device!" "I'll blow it up!" "I work for the post office, so you know I'm not stable!" "Tell them!" " This man is totally insane." " Thank you." "Now put the guns down." "Now!" "Brother, man, put your gun down!" "Everybody!" "You, too, Barnaby Jones!" "]Drops gun]" "All right, just stay there." "I'll know if you move." "I have the ears of a snake!" "Ciao, baby!" "You shouldn't mess with that." "Relax, Sparky." "I was on the bomb squad for 10 years." "]Sniffing]" "MYRON:" "I'm the man!" "Gentlemen... we've been duped." "]Collective sigh]" "This is nothing but a harmless Christmas package." "]Explosion]" "That was really a bomb?" "This is a sick world we're living in!" "Sick people!" "]Coughing]" "How long on the bomb squad?" "]Singing] Let ev'ry heart" "Prepare him room" "And heav'n and nature sing" "And heav'n and nature sing" "And heav'n and heav'n and nature sing" "Joy to the world" "Thanks a lot." "That son of a..." "What are you doing?" "TED:" "Your star wasn't up." "You've got to have your star up." "HOWARD:" "I'm out all day... and he's in my house..." "putting up my star on my tree." "TED:" "I got a Turbo Man for Johnny." "It's nestled safely under our tree... ]Echoing] Nestled safely under our tree..." "I'll show him." "Ha!" "Oh, I'm sorry, Ted, but that's Howard's job." "He always puts the star on." "He's adamant about it." "He's not adamant... about spending time with his family on Christmas Eve." "]Train whistle blows]" "DOLL:" "It's turbo time!" "]Liz sighs]" "Liz, do you hear that?" "Carolers!" "Let's go!" "Come on!" "CAROLERS SINGING:" "We wish you a merry Christmas" "We wish you a merry Christmas and a happy new year" "HOWARD:" "The back door." "CAROLERS SINGING:" "Wherever you are" "Good tidings for Christmas and a happy new year" "Now, bring us some figgy pudding" "Now, bring us some figgy pudding" "Now, bring us some figgy pudding" "HOWARD:" "What am I doing?" "Look at me." "Stealing from a kid?" "I can't do this." "You're going to go back." "]Snort]" "Nice doggy." "]Grr]" "Nice." "]Crash]" "]Beep beep]" "No!" "Now, bring us some figgy pudding" "Now, bring us some figgy pudding" "Aah!" "Balthazar." " Howard?" " Hi." "Uh-oh." "Uh!" "LIZ:" "What are you doing?" "HOWARD:" "I, uh..." "LIZ:" "What's that?" "HOWARD:" "Oh!" "DOLL:" "You can always count on me." "TED:" "That is Johnny's Turbo Man." " What?" " It's not what you think it is." "LIZ:" "It isn't?" "Really?" "What is it?" "As far as I know, you got Jamie a Turbo Man weeks ago." "It looks like you've broken into our neighbor's house... and you're stealing presents!" "Just give me a second, then I could explain it." "Parts of this are going to sound completely ridiculous." "Let me tell you the truth." "I've listened to you for far too long now, and honestly, I don't want to anymore." "I want to salvage what's left of Christmas Eve... and go to the parade with my son." "Liz, please." " Ted, would you drive us?" " Of course." "You can't bench-press your way out of this." "]Grr]" "You picked the wrong day." "]Moaning]" "You started it." "JAMIE:" "Do you think Dad will be at the parade?" "I wouldn't count on it." "JOHNNY:" "Turbo Man's gonna be there." "You can count on him." "Rudolph, can I buy you another round?" "]Burps]" "Here." "Sorry, buddy, but you're on your own." "It's time I start keeping my promises." "]Playing 'Jingle Bells']" "MAN:" "It's that time of year again... the 12th annual Holiday Wintertainment Parade." "I'm weatherman Gale Force... here with the lovely Liza Tisch of 'A.M. Live.'" "Merry Christmas, Gale." "We're high atop channel 29's parade central... to keep you updated on all this year's parade action." " Let's watch..." " And listen." "JAMIE:" "The parade's already started!" "JOHNNY:" "Dad, there's Owen and his dad." "Can we stand with them while you park the car?" "JAMIE AND JOHNNY:" "Yeah, please?" "Please?" "TED:" "OK." "We'll meet you there." "JOHNNY:" "Yeah!" "LIZ:" "And don't go wandering off." "JAMIE:" "OK, Mom." "LIZ:" "Jamie, wear your hat." "JAMIE:" "I know." "JOHNNY AND JAMIE:" "Owen!" "Owen!" "OWEN'S FATHER:" "All right, kids." "Come on." "JAMIE:" "Oh, wow!" "Check it out!" "JOHNNY:" "You see Turbo Man?" "JAMIE:" "Naw." "They're saving him for last." "JOHNNY:" "Ah." "JOHNNY:" "Ooh!" "This is awesome." "Cat In The Hat!" " Yeah!" " Yeah!" "HOWARD:" "Take Fourth Street." "CABBIE:" "The roads are packed." "Everybody's going to the parade." " Turbo Man's gonna be there." " I know." "Liz, I'm sorry you had to go through that back there." "Here." "Have some nonalcoholic eggnog." "Oh." "I'll be fine." "You can't hide your feelings from me." "Let it out." "Get it out of your system." "No, really, Ted." "I'm OK." "I don't think so." "Liz, you're like a lost and frightened foal." "I can see it in your eyes." "Don't worry." "Ted's here." "That's... very sweet." " You deserve better, Lizzie." " Lizzie?" "Someone you can talk to." "A shoulder to cry on." "It's useless, Liz." "We can't hide our feelings any longer." "Feelings?" "TED:" "I don't have to tell you, I'm a very eligible bachelor." "Women would give anything to be in your position now." "Well, I'm a lucky, lucky girl." "For me, it all started months ago... at your Labor Day barbecue." "Remember?" "And you asked me how to marinate ahi tuna, and I said all you need is Italian salad dressing." "Aah!" "You!" "OFFICER:" "Stop that man!" "Enough talking." "Ow!" "Well, that didn't exactly go as well as I'd hoped." "MAN:" "You!" "Who are you?" " Are you the guy?" " Huh?" "MAN:" "Thank God." "We got him, people!" "Listen up." "We're running late, so pay attention." "You read the instruction manual we sent you." "You know about the important controls." "Here are a couple of the changes." "There are three cutoff valves to the nitrofuel." "HOWARD:" "What are you..." "MAN:" "The normal reading on the pressure gauge... should read below 50, not 70 like we told you earlier." "The emergency cutoff switch is here." "The primary controls are going to be right here." "There's a microphone inside the helmet... that will alter your voice to the proper tonality." "Procedure wise, it's like we discussed over the phone." " Procedure?" " There shouldn't be problems." " Ouestions?" " Yes." "Let me just take a moment and speak for everyone... when I thank you for filling in for Pete." "It was a total freak accident what happened at rehearsal." "We got the kinks worked out of it." "The doctor said Pete showed brain activity this morning." "That's a really good sign." "Move it out, people!" "MAN:" "Finally!" "Where the hell have you been?" "I've been sweating like a dog in a Chinese restaurant... waiting for your sorry ass to show up." "Well... it's show time." "HOWARD:" "I know you." "You're Booster." "BOOSTER:" "Who do you think you are..." "Mary Poppins?" "MAN:" "Come on!" "Let's go!" "Let's do it!" "Go!" "Go!" "Go!" "Go!" "Go!" "HOWARD:" "Wait." "MAN:" "Have a great show." "LIZA:" "Now for the moment you've been waiting for, here he is." "Live and in person, Turbo Man!" "Wow." "BOOSTER:" "Wave, you idiot!" "Wave!" "HOWARD:" "Wave?" "Yes." "This is cool." "Ha ha!" "JOHNNY:" "Yeah!" "Whoo!" "JAMIE:" "Mom!" "It's Turbo Man!" "LIZ:" "Ha ha ha!" "I can get into this." "GALE:" "Turbo Man will select a child from our audience." "LIZA:" "That child will be the winner... of a special edition Turbo Man doll." "JOHNNY:" "Aw, man!" "Awesome!" "JOHNNY:" "Aw, man!" "Awesome!" "BOOSTER:" "Hey!" "You're supposed to be holding this!" "Oh?" "Ahh." "HOWARD:" "Yes!" "Yes!" "BOOSTER:" "Hey, rock star?" "HOWARD:" "Yeah?" "BOOSTER:" "Be on your toes." "Dementor will be jumping on the float soon." "Wha..." "Aah!" "BOOSTER:" "Oh, what's he doing?" "Would you pick a kid already?" "Pick a kid?" "BOOSTER:" "Pick a kid so he can come up here and get his prize!" "Pick me, Turbo Man!" "Over here!" "Pick me!" "Pick me!" "JOHNNY:" "Over here!" "JAMIE:" "He's looking at me." "JOHNNY:" "He's looking at me." "JAMIE:" "He's pointing at me." "JOHNNY:" "Naw, it's me!" "JAMIE:" "Me!" "JOHNNY:" "Me!" "JAMIE:" "Me!" "JOHNNY:" "Me!" "Jamie!" "He knows my name." "GALE:" "Turbo Man has selected a winner." "Go ahead." "Go ahead, honey." "Go." "Go, Jamie!" "Merry Christmas, Jamie." "JOHNNY:" "Whoo!" "JAMIE:" "Wow." "How did you know my name?" "Well, Jamie, you see, I'm your fa..." "LIZA:" "Oh, no, kids!" "It's Turbo Man's archenemy Dementor!" "]Audience booing]" "Aw, shut up!" "Shut up!" "GALE:" "Was that scripted?" "All right, kid." "Give me the doll, and nobody gets hurt." "Myron?" "That's right, Turtle Man." "Thought you could outsmart me, didn't you?" "Thought your little suit idea was so slick." "I'm one step ahead of you because I've got a bigger brain." "HOWARD:" "Just stay here." "Come on, Myron." "You're taking this too far." "I'm not going home without that doll!" "BOOSTER:" "This ain't the way we rehearsed it!" "You know what?" "Nobody likes you, Booster." "BOOSTER:" "Ooh!" "Whoa!" " We don't like you!" " We hate you, Booster!" "]Gasps]" "MYRON:" "Where are you going, kid?" "Come back here, my little pretty, and your little doll, too!" "HOWARD:" "Hey, Myron!" "Leave the kid alone!" "Ta-ta, Turtle Man." "LIZ:" "Boo!" "Boo!" "Ha ha ha!" "GALE:" "It looks like Dementor has beaten Turbo Man." "LIZA:" "This could be the end of civilization as we know it." "JAMIE:" "Do something, Turbo Man!" "Use your turbo disc!" "On your arm!" "Hey, Myron!" "I have a special delivery for you." " Huh?" " Hah!" "Yeah!" "Ha ha ha!" "LIZA:" "It appears that Turbo Man has saved the day." "HOWARD:" "I'm going to take you back to your mom, OK?" "DEMON TEAM:" "Demon team!" "GALE:" "It's the Demon Team..." "Dementor's evil henchmen!" "Whatcha gonna do now, kid?" "JAMIE:" "Hyah!" "MYRON:" "Oh!" "]Squealing]" "HOWARD:" "What about my son?" "DEMON:" "Follow the choreography!" "JAMIE:" "Mom!" "LIZ:" "Jamie!" "MYRON:" "I ain't done, kid!" "MYRON:" "Get out my way, box!" "BOX:" "Oh!" "MYRON:" "Come here!" "I'm sorry I hollered!" "Get out of my way!" "Get out of my way!" "Come here, boy!" "Get that popcorn out of my face!" "Come on!" "Kid, you need a time-out." "LIZ:" "Jamie!" "OFFICER:" "It's just a show." "Get back on the sidewalk." "LIZ:" "That's my son!" "OFFICER:" "He's wonderful!" "LIZ:" "He's not part of the show!" "MYRON:" "I'm scared of heights." "You see the movie Vertigo?" "That mean anything to you?" "DEMON:" "Get this guy!" "What are you doing?" "Aah!" "MYRON:" "Uncle Myron wants to talk." "All right, kid!" "End of the line!" "Give me the doll!" "Never!" "Oh!" "LIZA:" "Fly!" "Fly, Turbo Man!" "Use your jet pack!" "It's turbo time!" "Wow!" "Whoa!" "Aah!" "]Boom]" "Aah!" "HOWARD:" "I think I'm getting the hang of this!" "Turbo Man!" "Help!" "HOWARD:" "Jamie!" "I got you!" "Jamie!" "Uh." "HOWARD:" "Oh." "Out of my way!" "WOMAN:" "Let us pray." "What the..." "Whoa!" "MYRON:" "I got you, kid." "Aah!" "Aah!" "MYRON:" "Give me the doll, kid!" "JAMIE:" "Turbo Man, use your turbo-rang!" "Come on!" "MYRON:" "Ha ha!" "Missed me!" "Ha ha ha!" " Oh!" " Ha ha!" "Victory is mine!" "Ha ha ha!" "V-i-c-t-o-r-y!" "Ooh!" "Aah!" "Yeah!" "Wow!" "I got it!" "I got one!" "I finally got one!" " Turbo Man!" "Help!" " Jamie!" "JAMIE:" "Aah!" "HOWARD:" "Gotcha!" "JOHNNY:" "Yes!" "JAMIE:" "Thanks, Turbo Man." "I knew you'd save me." "HOWARD:" "You can always count on me." "]Cheering]" "Awesome!" "HOWARD:" "Here you go, ma'am." "Mom!" "Did you see?" "I flew with Turbo Man!" "He saved me from Dementor!" "It was the coolest!" "Did you see?" "Did you?" "LIZ:" "I saw." "I saw." "Thank you." "I don't think you know how much he means to me." "Oh, I think I have an idea." "What's the matter, Jame?" "It's just, I wish that Dad could have been here, you know?" "To see me fly and all." "But he didn't come, and it's all my fault." "He's mad at me." "We had a fight on the phone, and I kind of yelled at him." "HOWARD:" "Jamie, your dad is not mad at you." "He loves you more than anything in the whole, wide world." "You're his all-time favorite person." "How do you know all that?" "Well, who would know better than me?" " Dad?" " Howard?" "Right here." " Howard!" " Oh, Liz... you two mean more to me than anything." "I'm sorry I haven't shown that lately." "I know I've been neglecting both of you, but no more." "I love you." "I love you both." "TED:" "Johnny, what's going on here?" "JOHNNY:" "Look!" "Jamie's dad is Turbo Man!" "TED:" "Let's get out of here." "JOHNNY:" "You smell like barf!" "OFFICER:" "Young man..." "I have something that belongs to you." " Thanks!" " You're welcome." "And as for you, Turbo Man, we could use you on the force." "Thanks." "I'll keep that in mind." "Oh, I'm sorry about the bike..." "and the coffee... and the bus..." "and, uh, the bomb." "MYRON:" "I had it!" "I had it right here in my hands!" "What will I tell my son Christmas morning?" " How will I look him in the eye?" " Wait." "MYRON:" "I had it, man." "JAMIE:" "Wait." "Merry Christmas." "Wow." "Wow." " But..." " Hey, thank you." "Thank you." "You know, this is going to make my son really happy." "I'm sorry about that little tension we had on the roof." "JAMIE:" "Hey, it's cool." "But, Jamie, I thought you wanted this doll more than anything." "I don't need the doll." "I got the real Turbo Man at home." "Oh!" "That... that's my husband." "CROWD:" "Turbo Man!" "Turbo Man!" "That's my dad!" "That's my dad!" "BRIAN SETZER SINGING:" "Jingle bells" "Jingle bells" "Jingle all the way" "Oh, what fun it is to ride" "In a '57 Chevrolet" "Jingle bells" "Jingle bells" "Jingle all the way" "Oh, what fun it is to ride" "In a one-horse open sleigh" "Dashing through the snow" "In a one-horse open sleigh" "Over those fields we go" "Laughing all the way" "Bells on bobtails ring" "Making spirits bright" "What fun it is to ride and sing a sleighing song tonight" "Oh, jingle bells" "J-jingle bells" "Jingle all the way" "Oh, what fun it is to ride" "In a '57 Chevrolet" "Jingle bells, jingle bells" "Jingle all the way" "Oh, what fun it is to ride" "In a one-horse open sleigh" "Ow!" "Hey!" "Dashing through the snow" "In a one-horse open sleigh" "Over those fields we go" "Laughing, laughing, laughing, laughing" "Bells on bobtail ring" "Making those spirits bright" "What fun it is to ride and sing a sleighing song tonight" "Ow!" "Jingle bells" "Jingle, jingle, jingle all the way" "Oh, what fun it is to ride" "In a '57 Chevrolet" "Jingle bells, jingle bells" "Jingle all the way" "Oh, what fun it is to ride" "In a one-horse" "Open" "Sleigh" "LOU RAWLS SINGING:" "So they say it's Christmastime again" "The calendar says December" "But it's wrong" "'Cause Christmas is the time" "When lovers pray divine" "And people are meeting and two hearts are beating" "So they say it's Christmastime, I know" "But I'll just keep pretending until they go" "'Cause if they say it's Christmas" "I'll think you're here with me" "If they say it's Christmastime again" "I wonder when your Christmas card will come" "I'll bet it's that same old winter one" "Where people are happy" "And full of that joy" "The spirit of giving and loving and living" "So you know when Christmas rolls around" "I just can't help but feeling kind of down" "'Cause you're my Christmastime" "You're who I'm thinking of" "When they say it's Christmastime, my love" "Christmastime, my love" "It's Christmastime" "So you know when Christmas rolls around" "I just can't help but feeling kind of down" "'Cause you're my Christmastime" "The one I'm thinking of" "When they say it's Christmastime, my love" "It's Christmastime" "My love" "It's Christmastime, my love" "It's Christmastime" "Christmastime, my love" "Christmastime, my love" "LIZ:" "Yay!" "HOWARD:" "Look at that!" "There it is." "JAMIE:" "Voila!" "LIZ:" "Beautiful!" "JAMIE:" "Perfecto!" "Howard, I've been thinking." "Everything that you went through today for Jamie... really shows how much you love him." "And, uh, and if you're willing... to go through all of that for him just for a present, well, that makes me wonder." "What?" "What did you get me?"