"She's crowning." "She's crowning." "Okay, you're doing great." "Just relax." "Easy." "Breathe." "You're doing fine." "Just keep breathing." "Why isn't she crying?" "She just needs a little help getting her airways open." " She's not breathing!" " We're gonna help get her breathing." "Okay..." " Is she alive?" " Yes, she's alive." "Where are they taking her?" "She's so small." "So tiny." "Only 2 lbs. 4 oz." "A very kind nurse told me she's seen plenty of premature births and she could usually tell which ones..." "I don't know if I could... I..." "I can't take another child dying." "Anyway, I'm at Cedars-Sinai." "Brenda's in room... 913." "Poor thing, her mother won't be back until tomorrow." "It's only me here." "I'm sure you'll want to come too." "Okay, bye." "I hope you're okay." "And I hope you will please call me and let me know you are." "I know you're mad about me taking the keys, but don't be stupid, Claire." "Yeah, the world is fucked up, but you ending up in a wheelchair isn't going to make it any better." "You're too smart." "You're too good." "Don't waste that." "Okay, I just turned into my father... like exactly." "That was my father." "This is what you do to me." "Call me please." "When you said go away, I didn't think you meant "go away"!" "This is bullshit and you know it." "So this is what happens when I really need you." "It's nice to know I can depend on you in a crisis." "This is for us." "No, this is for you, you arrogant macho fuck!" "You think everybody's supposed to be so fucking strong all the time!" "You can't stand to see me weak like this." "You're revolted by me." ""This is for us." Fucking liar!" "I meant all four of us, you fuckin' idiot!" " You never even wanted those kids..." " That's not fair." "...and now you honestly think you can take care of them on your own?" "You're not up to being a single parent." "Well, you're not up to being a parent at all." "You are using this as an excuse to dump me, which you've wanted to do ever since Anthony and Durrell came here!" "Don't touch me." "Come here!" " God!" " David, I love you." "But I am those boys' father and right now I have to take care of them, because you can't." "You are sick and I don't think you can get well here." "Jesus, when am I gonna find a fucking medication that works?" "She has a pretty severe lack of surfactant in her lungs, but she is breathing steadily with a ventilator." "I wanna see her." "Why hasn't somebody brought her in?" "Well, she's in an incubator and she's hooked up to monitors, a feeding tube." "Then why doesn't somebody take me to her?" "She's my baby." "You can't keep her from me." "We're still looking for sepsis, possible bleeds in the brain." " Oh God." " Most babies born before 30 weeks experience cranial bleeding with varying degrees of severity." " When can I see her?" " As soon as she's ready." "I promise you someone will come take you to her." "Oh God." "Don't you worry." "Willa is going to get through this and be healthy, and she's going to be home with you soon." "And Maya is gonna be home with you too." "I know you don't like kiwi... but, really, I think you need to give it a second chance." "What?" "Was that pushy?" "No." "No, it's just I'm eating fruit salad in bed with a naked frat boy who voted for George Bush." "We're listening to what sounds suspiciously like..." "Christian music?" "It is Christian music." "What?" "I just hear songs on the radio and if I like them, I buy the CD." "Oh my God, you might be the most deeply un-hip person I've ever met." "Ah, seeing how being hip is primarily an adolescent concern," "I'll take that as a compliment." "You know, if you really are Christian... um, I should probably tell you I had an abortion." "That's okay." "I sort of paid for one." "Well I... didn't really pay for it." "I still have to send her the check." "God, I feel like I'm trapped underwater." "And it's not just Nate dying." "I mean, I have absolutely no idea what I am supposed to do with my life." "Don't you still wanna be an artist?" "Yeah." "But I'm scared that maybe I'm not good enough." "Is that true?" " Maybe." " So get better." "Ugh..." "I really don't want to go back to school." "I mean, even though it's art," "I still feel that I'm just being programmed." "Just take pictures." "If you're good enough, you'll find out." "And if you're not, you'll get good enough." "Or you'll find out you can't." "But I bet you are, though." "Maybe I should take pictures of you naked." "Okay." "Okay." "But you have to promise that you won't post them on the Internet." "I might want to run for public office some day." " Are you serious?" " Yeah." "Aren't you?" "Too bad you don't believe in anything... or you could pray." "This is exactly what I was afraid of." "Fuck!" "Come on, Charles." "You're a hero!" " I'm no hero." " Sure you are." "You've gotta snap out of it." "You have to remember the good times!" " Like when?" " Like over there!" "Uh, boys..." "I'm gonna be taking off for a few days." " Why?" " Well..." "'Cause y'all are splitting' up, and you're gonna leave us with him... that's why." " Like we don't know." " Durrell." "I'm not leaving." "Yeah, well, why you have a suitcase?" "Look..." "I have to go away for now... because there's a funeral directors' conference in Portland." "Do you want me to bring you something back?" "Yeah, bring me a silver Escalade." "Durrell, I promise you I am coming back." "I heard that before!" "Are you gonna bathe yours?" "Fuffle with it." " Tulips." " Pretty!" "You leave your door open like that?" "We were just outside picking flowers." "Ruth, it isn't the '50s anymore, no matter how you dress." "So you're ready to go, you little monkey?" "No!" " No?" "!" " Go where?" "Well, back to Brenda's of course." "Brenda said you agreed to that." "Well, yes, but I thought Brenda was staying in the hospital a little longer." "Brenda's not the one who's sick, and anyway, she can't really visit the baby after 10:00 P.M., so she's coming home tonight." "And the baby's staying in the hospital an extra couple of weeks." "Oh." "I suppose I'd better go pack her things then." "That would be helpful, Ruth." "So he says the house alone is worth $2 million." "So 25%% %..." "I should be entitled to half a million dollars." " What "should be"?" "You are." " Are we gonna have $1 million?" "Mm-hmm, someday, if you eat your eggs." "You know, I could put half of that down as a deposit on the new place, spend 100 or so on upgrades." "The rest would tide us over till we got things going." "Yeah." "You really think this could work?" "You know what, Rico?" "I liked when I helped you out with that funeral yesterday." "It was sort of like being a nurse, but without all the blood and bedpans and pills... and I got to wear better clothes." "Julio, please." "Eggs." "Augusto thinks they're gross." "Well... they are kind of gross, but eat 'em anyway." "All you gotta do now is get the Fishers to buy you out." "Or sell... preferably to someone who just wants the house and the land and wants to shut the business down." "What?" "Nate left his part to Brenda." "I don't think she wants to be in the funeral business." "I think David's going kind of nuts." "He needs to get out." "Plus, who needs the competition anyway, you know?" " Hello?" " Hi." "I just thought I'd check in with you." "How are you doing?" "Any news about Willa?" "No, and I'm fine." "Doesn't sound very convincing." "Well, I'm sorry, George, but I have enough to worry about without having to convince you how I'm feeling." " Another bad day?" " Yes, it's a terrible day." "Brenda's mother came and took Maya." "Now I'm alone." "I'm finally completely alone." "Oh, honey." "You're not alone." "You have me." "George, I have to go." "David's here." "I can't be at home right now." "Where will you go?" "Here." "Oh..." "Go put your things upstairs then." "I'll make you some cereal." "Would you like it in your yellow bowl?" "Mom, I don't think I've eaten out of that yellow bowl since I was a little boy." "Yeah, put it in the yellow bowl." "Yeah, uh, I'm looking for Claire Fisher." "This is Dennis at New Image and I'm just calling to find out where I should..." "Hello." " Hi, Claire Fisher?" " Yeah?" "I need an address to send your application package to." "Are you from the temp agency?" "No, I'm from New Image." "We're a stock photo production house in New York City." "Um... what kind of application?" "Photographer's assistant." "It's like a training position." "About a quarter of our staff photographers started out as assistants." "Really?" "Uh, really." "All I could think of is maybe the gallery owner from my show is the one who suggested me." "Or maybe it was Billy." "Yeah, he would do that, partly just to make me feel guilty for dumping him." "Fuck that." "And the pay is shit, I'm sure." "But it is a job..." "New York City!" "I actually could move up to become a staff photographer, although I'm not gonna get my hopes up like I did about that grant." "It's wonderful to hear." "You couldn't pay me to live in New York City." "Would you like a bowl of cereal?" "Um, no thanks." "I'm not sure who designed the stained-glass window." "I heard it was a somewhat influential artist." "Uh, what about the water problems in the basement?" "Oh, big repair job less than a year ago." "They completely redid the plumbing as well as all the underground drainage." " What did I tell you?" " Wow!" "Yes, apparently, there was some sort of a... a problem." "Eh, when everything gets backed up, then blood comes out of the toilet." "Yeah, that happens." "Can we get a copy of the work report and the guarantee?" " Yes." " Great." "I will have the seller fax that over to you." "We could put an espresso bar in this nook." "You know, I always wanted to do that, but David thought it would be disrespectful." "Great." "Very nice." "I can't say she's out of the woods for sure." "You'll have to watch and see how she develops to know if there's any permanent brain damage." "But, from a physical standpoint, she is doing remarkably well." "Thank God." "She's been taking your milk from the bottle all the time now, right?" " Right." " Then I think we can permanently remove that feeding tube." "When can I take her home?" "Well, I'd like to keep her another 24 hours after the tube comes out just to be on the safe side." "So there's absolutely no sign of spina bifida or Down's?" " Definitely neither of those." " And you checked for every possible problem the triple marker could have found?" "And I can't find anything... nothing that would be apparent at this point anyway." "Great." "So she'll seem normal for a while before whatever's fucked up about her shows up." "Well, that's positive news, isn't it, sweetheart?" "Shut up, Marge, you fuckin' idiot." "The fact she was premature has something to do with that blood test and you know it." "There's something wrong with our baby." "You should never have had her." " Oh God." " For Christ's sake, Brenda, there's something to feel good about." "Don't shit all over it!" "Thank you, Doctor." " I got him..." " Aha!" "Don't ever do that!" " What?" "Do what?" " Pop up like that." " Like this?" " Don't!" "Ruth?" "The back door was open." "Yes, I suppose someone could just come in and murder me in cold blood" " which would be a blessing." " Ruthie..." "It just takes time." "Liar." "That's what everybody always says and it's a lie." "Each day I feel worse, more empty, more dead." "I barely even remember my life before Nate." "I was practically a child when I had him." "How can I live without him?" "I can't." "Yes, you can..." "for Maya." "They've taken Maya." "I will probably never see her or her sister again... if her sister even survives." "Ruth..." "I promise you, you will get through this." "I don't wanna get through it!" "This is the worst thing that can ever happen to anyone." "This is hell, George." "I'm in hell, and I just want it to end." "Then let me take care of you." "Let me make sure you don't go through this alone." "You did it for me." "Now it's my turn." "To do what?" "Feel helpless while you watch me lose my mind?" "Just..." "let me hold you." "Absolutely not!" "This is my family's business and I won't sell it." "So... buy me out." "Fine!" "But I hope that you're aware that this place is probably worth $2 million." "I had it appraised." "So what do you want to do with your part, Brenda?" "I don't really care." "Sorry, David, I don't." "You know what?" "I don't really care either." "Why am I fighting for something I've always been ambivalent about?" "Habit." "So... we put it on the market?" "Sure." "Why not?" "Cool." "I mean, if we can make that kind of money, why hang on to it?" "I have no reason." "We've been clutching so desperately to the past and for what?" "Because that's when there was hope." "Um, I'm going over to Ted's tonight." "Take a sweater!" "Oh... damn!" " What is she doing?" " I have no idea." "Mom?" "Maya's monkey!" "She loves this monkey!" "I have to wash it." "I think it's great." "I mean, think of what we can do with your portion and my savings." "We could finally buy a house." "We could buy a house now." "But we could buy a house and you could go back to school and become a lawyer like you've always dreamed." "I don't think I ever really even wanted to be a lawyer." "I think I just wanted to have sex with Harry Hamlin." "I'm serious." "You can be whatever you wanna be, David." " So can you." " Exactly." "We could really buy a house, couldn't we, with a yard?" "We could get the boys a dog and a tire swing." "Those boys don't want a tire swing, they want a TV the size of a wall." "So do you think you're ready to come back home soon?" " Because I do." " Maybe." "Good." "Man, those are big teeth." "Whoa, look at the wolf brain made into asphalt!" " Wow!" " But it looks like poop!" "Cool." "No, it's not cool." "And you saying it is just makes it even more not cool." "I think it's cool." "Thank you, Anthony." "I've never never seen you act this way!" " So?" " Yeah, so it has to be analyzed and diagnosed and turned into an example of some kind of pathology." "I mean, this is the Chenowith family." "Oh God, Billy!" "Have a drink!" "That's what you are born into." "I'm sorry." "Aren't they funny?" "Oh, dear, she's having guests." "Mom, she knows we're coming." " I called her." " I can't go in." "I'll wait in the car." "Mrs. Fisher," "I think Maya would be very happy to see her monkey." "And to see you." " Oh, hi." " Hey!" "Come on in." "Everyone's in the kitchen." " Mrs. Fisher." " Hi." "Hi." "Ted." "This is Billy, Brenda's brother." " Oh, Billy." " Ted." "I've heard a lot about you." "Nice to meet you." "Yeah, nice to meet you too!" "What-what is that?" "Do you..." "can you tell me?" "Can you tell me?" "Does the monkey know?" "You're so pensive, what are you thinking about?" "Oh, just how much it sucks that we have to get old." "Oh Claire, please, don't get maudlin on me." "So Brenda tells me you're planning on moving to New York?" "Uh, maybe." "I've applied for this, like, entry-level position" " at this, like, stock photo house..." " Hmm." "...New Image." " Impressive." " Not really." "It's just a lame gofer job like I used to do for you." "No, it isn't." "You could easily go on to become a soulless advertising photographer." "And with your gifts, hmm, I'm sure you probably will." "And I'm the one who recommended you." "Shut the fuck up." "Claire, it doesn't matter who fucked Russell." "I still believe in you." "Jesus, Olivier, that's so nice of you." "Thank you so much." "Calm down." "I mean, you just popped into my mind because I'd just seen you at that junior show." "Maya, don't you want to show Grandma your okapi?" " Okapi!" " Yes!" "I don't believe I've ever heard of an okapi." "Oh, the okapi is the only known living relative of the giraffe." "Its young really don't seem to imprint on the mothers, so they nurse from many available lactating females." "We just went to the zoo this week." "So, uh... how long have you and Claire been..." " together?" " Uh... well, we met..." "I guess it was about four months ago." " Huh!" " Well, we... we really didn't hit it off that great at first." " Really?" " Yeah." "I was there when she got the call about Nate and I spent most of that night in the hospital with her." "Huh." "That's how my sister met her brother." "The night his father died." " Really?" " Mm-hmm." "What are you saying, it like runs in the family?" "I am so... jealous of you." "Excuse me a second." "She looks much stronger." "Oh, she is." "She's much stronger." "No, she's not." "She's barely moving." "She's a very calm baby." "I think she's blind." "She gets stronger every day." "Oh, she's fierce when she nurses." "I'm covered in bruises." "Nate had a big appetite." "Is she gassy?" "No, not overly so, but she's always hungry." "That's because she knows she doesn't have much time." "She wants to get it while she can." "So you're really going to sell your legacy?" " Your birthright?" " Yeah, and good riddance." "Well, I can't say I'm surprised." "You never had it in you." "Neither did you." "The only way you could handle it was to have a secret room over a really bad Indian restaurant." "Oh, and you don't think you have a secret room?" "What do you think being gay is, you fucking freak?" "Fuck you." "What did you just say to me?" "Leave me alone, Dad." "Who do you think you are?" "You think you can just walk away from this?" "Are you really that stupid?" " It only gets closer, David." " Shut up." "You don't exist." "The window washer's been right outside this whole time watching me change my stockings." "Yes, I will call you later." "Okay, bye." "Actually, he's pretty cute." "Dark hair and good build." " What are you watching?" " Hello, Mr. Clean." " I don't know." "It's always on." " I've been a very dirty girl." "Isn't it weird this isn't gonna be our house anymore?" "I guess I'll move in with Ted, although I really hate his apartment." "Mom, what are you gonna do?" "I suppose I'll move in with George." " Yeah?" " He's offered." "Well, is that what you want?" "I'll never have what I want, never." " Hello?" " Is this Claire?" " Yeah." " This is Scott in accounting at New Image." "I need you to send me your social and address in New York." "Um..." "I don't have an address in New York." "I live in California." "Hmm." "That's gonna be an awfully big commute." "Does that mean I have the job?" "Uh, I have you down as starting work on December 7th." "You do?" "Oh my God, Mom!" "Hello?" "I can give you my social now." "Can I give you my in New York address a little bit later... like when I actually have one?" "Sure." "I called off escrow." "You did what?" "This is my family's business, Rico, and I won't sell it." "I'm sorry." "Well then, you have to buy me out." "I don't have that kind of money." "So, what?" "I'm just fucked?" "Maybe you can find someone to buy your share out." "Nobody's gonna wanna pay half a million dollars for 25%% % of this business, you fuckin' moron!" "If they have that kind of money, they're gonna want to open up their own place." "Something smaller." "Something they can finally call their own and run the way they want without a bunch of idiots always getting in their fucking way!" "Oh, just throw it out." "Really?" "I always liked this on you." "It itches." "My entire life I've been wearing clothes that I hate." "I've been meaning to ask you, how is Maggie doing?" "I have no idea." "Maggie left over a month ago." "Left?" "Where did she go?" "I don't know." "You don't even know where your own daughter is?" "Ruth, please, don't sensationalize it." "George, don't talk to me like you're my father or my teacher." "Do you have any idea how much I hate it when you do that?" "I saw Maggie... just before Brenda gave birth." "and she was completely irrational." "She was very very angry." "With you?" "No, I think she was angry with the state of her life." "She just chose to take it out on me." "What state of her life?" "I don't know." "She didn't tell me." " You didn't ask." " No, I didn't." "She told me she would call me when she got settled." "Look, this is not the first time it's happened." "I don't think I can move in with you, George." "Why not?" "Because..." "don't get me wrong, you're a good, decent man with a big heart, but there are walls around that heart... walls behind walls behind walls." "And I can spend a certain amount of time around that, but I cannot live with it, not anymore." "Oh, don't look so sour." "It doesn't mean I won't go out with you." "We can have a lot more fun this way." "Believe me..." "I could use a little fun." "Father, we thank Thee for these and all Thy blessings." "Amen." "Not so fast." "We thank Thee for the gift of this food... and please thank the animals who gave their lives so we could eat, for the love we feel for each other, even when it's hard, especially when it's hard." "And finally for these two boys... who came into our lives and made us a family, and who have given us a home every bit as much as we have them." " Amen." " Amen." " Amen." " Amen." "She can't breathe." "She can't get any oxygen to her brain!" " Why can't you love her?" " Because she's damaged... and nobody will ever be able to fix her." "Ever." "I talked to my accountant today." "Between the two of us, we can buy Rico out." "Keith, I can't let you do that." " That money is yours." " That money is ours... for our new house." "I don't know if you've realized, but that house you grew up in is a pretty great fuckin' house." "You don't think it's depressing?" "I don't think it has to be." "I think we can make it into something pretty spectacular." " You're serious?" " Yeah." "I am." " Maggie, Dr. Peterman will see you now." " Okay, thank you." "Just give me a second." "Sorry." "This is Maggie." "Thank heavens you still have the same cell phone number." "Ruth?" "I have to ask you something." "Sure." "You were with Nate the night he..." " Yes." " Was he happy?" "He was... feeling, I think, that his life was very complicated." "I'm not talking about his life, I'm talking about that night." "Was... was he happy?" "He was." "Good." "Were you?" "Yes." "Yes, I was happy." "Good." "Thank you for that." "It helps." "Ruth... um..." "I'm sorry." "I have to go." "We're not asking you to give us anything." "We're just asking you to let us buy you out over time." "We'll pay you as soon as we can." "I promise." "Okay." "Look, my dad left me a ton of money." "Plus, Nate had life insurance, believe it or not." " So take your time." " Thank you." "Come on, we're family." "Yeah, we are." "Yes, we are." " Hello." " Oh, hello, Ruth." " How's the baby doing?" " She's good." "Oh!" "I have new photos." "Oh, thank you." "Oh my goodness!" "Look at those eyes!" "What do you mean?" "Do you see something wrong?" "Oh no, it's just that it seems like she sees more than we do, like she's a very old soul." " Huh." " You poor dear." "You're still worried about her, aren't you?" "Oh... she seems good." "Every visit to the doctor goes fine." "I just can't shake the feeling that something's going to go wrong, something is wrong." "You're all alone." "If my experience is anything to go by, motherhood is the loneliest thing in the world." "Nathaniel wasn't even here when Nate was born." "He was still in Vietnam." "Even when he came home and David was born having terrible asthma," "Nathaniel was never really here for me." "Whether it was the war or just him, I don't think I'll ever know." " You know Nate and I were..." " I know, I know." "I know he loved you the very best he could, and I know you needed more." "So did I." "And I hope and pray that you put everything... everything behind us and let me help you, because I know you're gonna need it." "Thank you." "I will need it." "I do need it." " Do we have to move?" " No." "We're gonna keep living here." "Maybe we'll move, eventually, if things go well." "But I like this house." "What if you got to have your own room?" " Okay." " Okay." " To..." " Ah!" "...the..." " Ah!" "ah... future." "Yes, baby." "Mom." "I don't know why I keep looking at this." "It certainly doesn't make me feel any better." "God, I would give anything if I could make things different for you." "I would too." "You know what?" "I don't think I'm gonna go to New York." "Olivier says it's a crappy place to work anyway." "And I have no idea how to go about finding a place to live." "You would do that?" "You would..." "stay here for me?" "Yes." "Absolutely not!" "Go." "Live." "I'll unfreeze your trust fund." "Take it and find whatever life has in store for you." "Well... are you still gonna move in with George?" "No, I'm moving in with Sarah." "Oh, she's back from Costa Rica?" "No, Bettina's house-sitting, but I'm moving in anyway." "If Sarah doesn't like it, it's too fucking bad." "Mom, really, I can wait." "Claire, I stayed home to take care of a sick woman, and I've always regretted it." "I don't regret you or any of my children or..." "Nathaniel even, but I do regret never giving myself any choice." "I won't let you make the same mistake!" "Mom." "Oh, my little girl." "Maya?" "Maya, are you okay?" "She's beautiful." "She's so beautiful." "Hi." "We've never met." "I'm Nathaniel." "I love her so much." "And I always will." "You have to promise me you won't listen to this until you start to drive away tomorrow morning." "I can't play it tonight at my big farewell dinner... that you won't even come to?" "Everybody's gonna want a piece of you." "I'm sorry, but..." "I don't want to share you." "That's sweet." "And strangely possessive." "I want you to promise me something too." "I want you to promise that if the corporate warmongers decide we have to invade Iran" " and they reinstate the draft..." " That's not gonna happen." "...that you will move to Canada." " It's not gonna happen." "Probably not." "But, if they do... promise me... that you won't go get your head blown off so Halliburton and Bechtel can get richer." "I promise." "You're too smart." "You're too good." "Don't waste that." "I promise." " A what?" " A meth lab." "Marcie, get serious!" "I don't even know what that is." "It's illegal and she's pulling your leg." "We'd make a lot of money." "So could opening our own professional assassin service, but that's not gonna happen either." "Why not?" "I think I'd like that." "We could steal people's kidneys." "Oh, God, no!" "It's too messy." "Ooh, ooh!" "I heard on NPR about those people that go in and clean up violent crime scenes." " They make a shitload of money!" " No!" "I'm not going to clean up someone else's violent crime." "Oh, we just have to accept it." "There's nothing else." "We have to become hookers." "I'm thinking of starting a day-care service." " Seriously?" " Yes, for dogs." "Well, I wasn't aware such a thing existed until Nate worked in one briefly last year." "But apparently a lot of people will pay you a lot of money to babysit their dogs." "Let's face it, dogs are a lot easier than children." "They just are." "No offense, hon." "Oh, there's George." "Hi, George." "Come join us." "Georgie Porgies." "He hates me." "Claire, hi, this is Gavin at New Image and I hate to be the one to tell you this, but..." "New Image has been bought by Stock Aid, and they're consolidating their operations, and... well, they're in Chicago, so I hope you haven't headed out here yet." "Um, sorry." "Aw, who cares?" "Go anyway." "What, are you crazy?" "I'm gonna move to New York City without a job?" "Mom gave you the money, you're gonna land somewhere." "You'll be fine." "You're talented, you're smart," " you're ready." " What if I'm not?" "Claire, you want to know a secret?" "I spent my whole life being scared." "Scared of not being ready, of not being right, of not being who I should be." "And where did it get me?" "What should I tell everyone tonight?" "Nothing!" "You can't stay here!" "Wow, you've done a great job." "And this is video game central." "I've made it to Moscow on "Tony Hawk Underground."" "Hmm." "That'll come in handy." "You can't imagine the respect it bought me." "Ho, boy, what have you done in here?" "Well, we replaced the jalousie windows" " with these double-hung windows." " That looks great." "It's like I never lived here." " There's so much space, though." " Just beige, though." "Beige beige beige." " I love this." " Oh, this is the..." "Ha!" "Three fours." " Does it hurt to have a baby?" " Yes, it does." "It's beautiful I admit it, but it's a little intimidating." "It's gay." "This is a 100%% % gay kitchen." "This table looks sort of out of place." "David says they keep meaning to get rid of it." "I suppose they'll get around to it." "Oh my God, you remember that one dinner that he came to and he was high on Ecstasy, which he had taken by accident?" " What's Ecstasy?" " It's medicine." "I must have missed that one." "Nate kept groping my breasts through the meal." "I was mortified." "I walked in on the two of you in much more mortifying circumstances." "Okay, that we will not get into with younger ears at the table." " What?" "Tell me." " What, tell me!" "I just remember..." "I don't know, I was in seventh grade..." "Nate was probably a junior in high school... and he had started that new wave band with Sam Hoviak and Tom Wheeler, do you remember?" "I do." "He had the worst hair." "I mean really big, bad '80s hair with all this spray and lacquer in it." "And I was sitting next to him at dinner, and I saw something move, and it was a spider." "It had spun a web in his hair." "I swear." "Sick!" "And I didn't say anything because I knew how cool he was trying to be." "I wanted him to be that cool." "I wanted him to be... the coolest brother anybody had ever had." "To Nate." "To Nate." "To Nate." " To Nate." " To Nate." "To my first-born." " To Uncle Nate." " Yeah, to Uncle Nate." "Can you say "to Daddy"?" "To Daddy." "To Nate." "May he rest in peace." "Hey." "Get up." "Come on, everybody's waiting." "I have no idea how to do this." "You just say "Goodbye."" "And just say "I love you."" "I'll miss you." "Oh God, I'm gonna miss you so much." "Be happy." "I am." "Mom." "My sweet baby girl." "Don't let them work you too hard at your new job." "I won't." "Mom, I really hope you can come and visit." "I'll try." "Oh, Claire." "I pray you will be filled with hope as long as you possibly can." "Thank you for everything." "And thank you for giving me life." "You gave me life." "Oh, God, I don't want to go." "Yes, you do!" "What, are you trying to sneak out on us?" " Bye, Aunt Claire." " Bye." "Bye, Anthony." " Gonna come visit me in New York?" " Yes." "Could you, um... get me something from the Fire Department museum?" " It's in Brooklyn." " Durrell." "Durrell's going to be a fireman." "Did you know my dad used to be a cop?" "I did." "He looked really good in his uniform." "Come here." "Oh, I want to take a picture of everyone." "You can't take a picture of this." "It's already gone." "So as the blood is draining out of the body it flows down into that drain there." "It's replaced with this embalming fluid." "So I'm expecting..." "I'm expecting some form of... response, emotional response." "Ted responded in a way that" "I felt some emotional closure was necessary... was necessary for me." "This is something that I have spent a lot of time working..." "Bren?"