"Morning." "Good morning." "You know, you're the first guy who's ever slept in this bed." "No way." "I'm glad you didn't spend the night on the couch." "Yeah, me too." "After three nights, it was getting a little lumpy." "I'm gonna make some tea." "You made some florist very happy last night." "I always like to have a lot of flowers around." "But I guess in honor of your visit, I went a little overboard." "Hey, I like your flowers." "Thanks." "Me too." "I don't know, they always make me feel good." "When I was in the hospital, everybody else hated the flowers they got, so I'd just pick them all up and bring them into my room." "I never sent you any flowers." "In fact, I never really came to visit you." " You visited me." " Once." "Hey, don't feel guilty." "I'm not mad at you." "What I went through, I had to go through on my own." "So, what did you figure out in there?" "Well, I figured out that the sooner I got serious about my life, the happier I'd be." "So I traded in the recreational drugs for a little Prozac, and got back together with my family and went back to school, started studying and found out what it was like to have a little success without feeling excluded or..." "Well, ashamed." "Well, I'm proud of you, Em." "Dim sum?" "Dim sum?" "You don't like dim sum?" "Well, I've never tried dim sum." "I'm a megaburger kind of guy." "One megaburger." "Oh, you are so lucky." "In the real world of sororities, we're about to endure the humiliation of hell week." " l can't say I'll be missing that." " Me either." "Well, we'll have to design some special torture for the girls of the Peach Pit." "How about we just declare hell week juvenile and stupid and leave it at that?" "I second it." "Oh, come on, you guys, it is not that bad." "They just make the pledges go three days without makeup or something." "Oh, that sounds so brutal." "You guys, where's Kelly?" "Isn't she coming?" "She said she might be busy." "She's probably still a little steamed from Thanksgiving." "What happened?" "Dylan came to my house instead of hers." " Well, she did ask him first." " How was I supposed to know?" "Hey, guys." "Sorry I'm late." "Traffic on Wilshire was unbelievable." "Kel, are you okay?" "Yeah." "Brenda, what happened at your house the other night was between me and Dylan." "I know it wasn't your fault." "I know." "Have you talked to him?" "No, I really don't see the point." "I mean, it's just not working out." "Why bother?" "So, what's up?" "Well, Brandon is still in San Francisco with Emily." " l still can't believe that." " Me either." "Well, old hearts do die hard." "Well, I don't have time to worry about him, because I'm going to my first college play rehearsal today." " lt's great you're doing that." " When is it?" "Can we come?" "Yeah, you know, it's just a workshop production, more like a stage reading." "But you are more than welcome to come, like Wednesday night." "We'll be there." "We wouldn't miss your theatrical debut for the world." "Well, I've got some news." " What?" " What?" "I did wind up at the Rubins' for Thanksgiving." " See, it wasn't that bad, was it?" " lt was nice." " Do you know who was there?" " Who?" "Do you remember that bartender at your parents' party?" "I do, he was cute." "Jesse, right?" "Yeah." "How did you know his name?" "Well, we were talking and he introduced himself." "He's a nice guy." "Well, he was tending bar at the Rubins'." "Small world." "So do we detect something going on here?" "Well, he asked for my number." "What about Dan?" "Well, I haven't had a lot of experience with a lot of guys, so I don't know how to say goodbye and break it off." "Andrea, for somebody who claims not to have a lot of experience, you sure are making up for lost time, aren't you?" "Thirty-three, 34," " 35, 36, 37." " Having fun yet, Sanders?" "I thought hazing was illegal on this campus." "Shut up, pledge." "No one gave you permission to speak." "But for clarification purposes, hazing in itself is not illegal." "However, cruel and unusual punishment is." "But none of you think this is cruel and unusual, do you?" " No, sir." " What?" "No, sir." "On your feet, girls." "Let's go, up." " Up." " Up, up, up." "Pass these down." "In these folders, you will find bios of all of your pledge brothers." "You will memorize them." "When asked, you will recite them on command." "You will do whatever a brother asks you to do." "Whether it is to pick up his laundry..." " Or cutting his meat." " Or shining his shoes." "Furthermore, each pledge will be assigned one special brother." "Whose job it is to make your life for the next week as pleasurable as it can possibly be." "Welcome to hell week, boys." "Hup, two, three, four." "Hup, two, three, four." "This is the most humiliating thing I've ever had to do." "Well, just pray that we don't see anyone we know." "I think it's a little too late for that." "Well, Kelly, isn't that your boyfriend?" "Why don't you go over there and kiss him hello?" "No, Leslie, I don't think that that's a very good idea." " See, because we're not getting along." " Oh, come on, Kelly." "It's just a little kiss." "Just an Alpha kiss, huh?" "Come on, Kel, go over and get it over with." "Donna, he's the last person I wanna kiss right now." "Well, look on the bright side." "Could be John Sears she asked you to kiss." "Fine." "Looking real good, Kel." "Look, I know that you are probably still mad at me and I am definitely still mad at you." "But I have to kiss you right now in front of all these people." "And I would really appreciate it if you would please just go along with it." "Did you say please?" "Yeah, I said please." "Well, in that case, I never could resist a sorority girl in a shower cap." "Yeah." "What was that for?" "Cold cream." "Turns me on." "Hup, two, three, four." "Hup, two, three, four." "Hey, Andrea." "Hi." "Hi?" "That's all you have to say?" "I've been calling you all weekend." "Here, at your parents' house, your grandma's." "Have you been checking your messages?" "I know, I'm sorry." "I've been really busy." " l'll see you, okay?" " Can I come in?" "Sure, come on in." "Thanks." " Dan" " What?" "I don't get it." "Andrea, we spent Thanksgiving dinner together." "My parents loved you, and I haven't heard from you since." "Six messages." "You might try listening to them once in a while." " Dan." " What?" "Nothing." "Just listen, I bet half these are from me." "Hey, Andrea." "This is Jesse Vasquez." "I told you I'd call." "Listen, I'm playing softball on Monday afternoon, wanna come?" "Give me a call, 2 1 3-555-57 7 1." "See you." "Who the hell is Jesse Vasquez?" " Dan." " No, don't turn it off." " l wanna hear." " Hi, it's Dan." "I miss you, call me." "Look, he's just this guy I met." "He's a friend." " Vasquez?" " Hi, this is Dan..." "What is this, some equal opportunity program?" "What kind of racist remark is that?" "Don't accuse me of racism." "We're going out together." "We're sleeping together." "What are you doing giving some other guy your number?" "Hi, this is Dan." " Call me, please." " Dan... I don't know how to say this, so I'm just gonna say it." "I think you're great." "But I'm not in love with you." " Just like that?" " No." "I've thought about this a lot." "I've analyzed it, I worried about it, I've tried to force myself to feel something more." " Andrea, it's me." "Where are you?" " But I can't." "What about me?" "What about how I feel?" "Believe me, l" "Dan, I don't wanna hurt you." "And you think breaking up with me doesn't hurt me?" "I'm sorry." "Me too." "Hi, it's me again." "Just wanted to say I love you, wherever you are." "This stuff is fantastic." "Rice curd?" "Okay, Brandon, the adventurer." "You know, you make it sound like I never take any risks, but I do." "How is it?" "It's terrible." "Okay, so you're a regular culinary explorer." "What other daredevil feats do you do?" "Well, take women, for example." "Do I really wanna hear this?" "Okay, I really wanna hear this." "Okay, first, there was the Olympic ice skater." "I was crazy about her." "Unfortunately, she liked skating a lot more than she liked me." "Then there was the girl I met at the beach club." "I thought she was perfect until she turned out to be a total bigot." "And then..." "Well, then there was Nikki." "Nikki was okay, except I got her on the rebound from an abusive boyfriend." "And then this summer, I met a girl who was great." "Unfortunately, she had been raped at knifepoint and lived in New York City." "Sounds like you've got a real thing for wounded birds." "Yeah." "And last but not least, there was the married woman." "You were involved with a married woman?" "Not just married." "Married to one of my professors." "Sounds like Brandon Walsh is doing a little playing with fire of his own." "Actually, that's the reason I came on this trip." "I wanted to put a little distance into the equation." "I don't know, maybe I'm the wounded bird." "Out of all those women, I never told any of them that I love them." "including me." "including you." "So, what do you make of that, Dr. Valentine?" "What do you make of it?" "Answering a question with a question." "We have been through a lot of therapy, haven't we?" "I've been pre-washed, shrunk and hung out to dry." " So, what do you make of it?" " l don't know." "Maybe I've just never been in love before." " Or maybe you're afraid of love." " Maybe." "Or incapable of love." "I hope not." "Because I love you, Brandon." "I love you too." "Thank you for coming to this, the first rehearsal of my newest play, The Mask of Melancholy." "You see, I realized that I can't explore the notion of masks without removing the one true mask we all wear." "Brenda, your part is the key to the play." "If you'll turn to page seven, the big speech." "I'm tired of the lies, tired of the deception, tired of the denial that defines my daily existence." "But what is truth?" "I'm not sure." "All I know is that I must look into my soul, into the depths of my despair, into the miasma of my melancholy." "Good." "Keep going." "Go on, Brenda." " Wait, what is this?" " What?" "Keep reading." "But how can I strip off the mask, remove the paint, cast off the armor that prevents me from finding my true identity without taking off the shield that protects us all?" "And that's where you take off your clothes." "Yeah, I can read, but I'm not taking my clothes off." "No." "Brenda, just think of the impact." "Can I talk to you for a minute?" "Listen, I gave you this part because you truly have the potential to become a wonderful, wonderful actress." "But you can't let your inhibitions hold you back." "This isn't about taking off your clothes." "The moment is about baring the soul of mankind, of womankind." "Art is truth, Brenda." "And only in truth can we truly explore our art." "You're right." "So you with me on this?" "Yeah, I am." "Okay." "Left, right, left." "Hup, two, three, four." "Hup, two, three, four." "Hup, two, three, four." "Hup, two, three, four." "Looks like we're not the only ones marching through hell." "Wipe that smile off your face, pledge." "is something funny?" "Why don't you drop and give me 20?" "Yes, sir." "One, two, three." "Recite the alphabet, Sanders." "A, B, C." " Sing it." " D." "E, F, G, H, I, J, I can't hear you, Sanders." "K, L, M, N, O, P," "Q, R, S, T, U, V," "W, X, Y and Z" "Now I know my ABCs" "Next time won't you sing with me?" "Sir." "Excellent." "Fun's just starting." "Okay, pledges, about face." "March." "Time for lunch." "Oh, sorry, that was yesterday." "No lunch today." "Guys, I need your help." "What?" "Do either of you have a dress that will fit me?" "Come out, come out, wherever you are." "Don't say anything." "You look beautiful." "Yeah, but first you need lipstick." " Lipstick?" " Lipstick." "It'll bring out your cheekbones." "Donna." "Forget it." "No." "Come on, you have no choice." "You have to go through with this or quit the fraternity." "I'm not quitting the fraternity." "That would mean Sears wins." "What does this have to do with John Sears?" "Did you see him today?" "The guy's got it in for me." "You mean what happened with the girl at the Downey House?" "Yeah, that, and he also knows that I told Kelly what a jerk he is." "You didn't have to tell me." "Fortunately, I figured it out myself." "I am not getting kicked out of the KEG House, and I'm certainly not gonna let Sears blackball me." "And there is no way I'm gonna let that weasel see me squirm." "Good for you." "Now, how do I look?" "What a babe." "Thanks, Don." "Kelly, take the picture." " Okay." " Let me work it." "Let me work it out." "Wait." "Okay." " Ready?" " Hold on, hold on." "Very nice." " So that's Alcatraz, huh?" " The Rock." "You know, nobody ever escaped from there." "Really?" "I wonder why." "Come here, I wanna show you something." "What are all those seals doing here?" "They're not seals." "They're sea lions." "Whatever." "Couldn't they find a better place to hang out?" "I mean, this isn't exactly their natural habitat." "They used to live on a rock at the entrance to the bay, but after the earthquake in '89, they migrated down here." "For a time, people tried to figure out some way to move them." "You know, save them?" "But they didn't wanna be saved." "They like it here." "So do I." "So now, I guess the only question is, am I gonna transfer to Berkeley or are you gonna come and sign up at CU?" "You'd actually move up here for me?" "Yeah. I would." "Well, it's not exactly my favorite color, but I do think the style is quite flattering." "Excellent." "Tomorrow, you will wear this charming ensemble in the student union as you pass out 50 photocopies of this to any and all interested parties." " Come on, don't make me do that." " That's not all." "You've heard about the pledge scavenger hunt?" "Yeah." "Well, you have a particularly juicy assignment." "Your mission, Mr. Sanders, should you choose to accept it..." "Do I have a choice?" " No." " l didn't think so." "Professor Randall, your sociology teacher." " Yeah?" " He's a sports fanatic." "And in his office is his prized possession, a signed Jackie Robinson baseball." "Your mission is to retrieve it." "Come on, Keith, he's not gonna give me that." "Steve, Steve, Steve." " No way." "Forget it." " Excuse me?" " l can't do that." " You know the rules." "Keith, I almost got thrown out of high school for pulling a stunt similar to that." "You don't think we know that?" "That's why the brothers thought you'd be perfect." "How's it going, Keith?" "How are we doing, pledge?" "I'm doing fine." "Do you know them?" "No, I don't know every Latino in L.A." "Andrea, tell me something." "What's a girl like you doing going out with a guy like me?" "Why would you ask me something like that?" "Just wondering why a nice Jewish girl from Beverly Hills would wanna go out with a homeboy." "First of all, I grew up in Van Nuys, not Beverly Hills." "Secondly, I have gone out with white guys, black guys... I even dated a Republican once." "So I guess I can go out with you." "I just wanted to hear you say it." "Was that supposed to be a test?" "Well..." "These are my buddies." "Classmates mostly." "You go to UCLA?" "Yeah, guilty as charged." "Second year law school." "You could have told me." "I wanted to find out whether you'd go out with Jesse Vasquez the bartender and not Jesse Vasquez the law student." " So it was a test?" " Oh, no." "The real test comes whether or not you can turn the double play." "Andrea, this is my buddy Cunningham." " We were at Yale together." " Hey." " You went to Yale?" " Yeah, why?" "Long story." "You get enough junk there?" "What, you think I went a little overboard?" "No, I think that you are the most generous guy I have ever met." "Do you know how long l've wanted one of these things?" "No, but now you've got one." "You can stick it on your dresser and think of me." "But I don't have to do that." "Because I found you and you found me, and that's what's important." "It's me, open up." "I know you're in there." "Great timing." " She's got a good knack, doesn't she?" " Yes, she does." "Come on in, Rosie." " Hello." " Hello." "Rosie, why don't you entertain Brandon while I take a bath?" "And don't say anything about anything, okay?" "Brandon, Brandon, Brandon." "Rosie, Rosie, Rosie." " Great city, isn't it?" " The best." "So I must seem like a nosy next-door neighbor to you, huh?" " No, Rosie, I think you're great." " Oh, no, I'm nosy." " Why don't you sit down?" " Thanks." "And I must tell you, it is my responsibility, as the truly nosy next-door neighbor, to tell you that I'm not gonna let Emily throw her life away, even if you are a semi-perfect guy." "Well, thanks, Rosie, but what are you talking about?" "She didn't want me to tell you this, but it doesn't look like she's going to, so..." "Brandon, Emily was accepted to study at the Cousteau Institute in France." "It's one of the major centers of marine biology in the world." "Very few undergraduates are picked, and even fewer Americans." "It's her dream come true." "Did you say France?" "She's supposed to leave in three days." "Why didn't she tell me this?" "Hello, why do you think?" "She's in love with you." " Hi." " Hi." "I didn't feel you get up." "I tried not to wake you." "I wanna wake up next to you every day for the rest of my life." "There's time for that." "What's this?" "You're getting sick of me already?" " No, not at all." " Good." "I know you're in there." "Wake up." "We're up, we're up." " l'll get it." "You get dressed." " Thanks." " Breakfast's here." " Thanks." "So I don't see any suitcases." " Did you talk to her yet?" " No." "Brandon, if you don't say something, she's not gonna get on that plane." "is that what you want?" "Don't answer that." " Look, I just don't wanna spoil this yet." " Well, you better hurry up." "You're as bad as she is." " Do you love her?" " Yes." "Well, then, why are you doing this?" "You can't let her give this up." " l'm not doing anything." " Exactly." "She's worked too hard." "She's been through too much." "If you love her, if you really love her, you'll make her go." "I gotta tell you, Steve." "You, buddy, have got some legs on you." "Way up there, I see them." "Oh, you really should have shaved though." "Guys, enough, okay?" "You do make the perfect KEG girl." "Guys, this is embarrassing enough without you here, so could you just bail?" "I think he looks sexy." "Well, he is wearing my lipstick." "And I think it looks great." "Enough already." "Now I know why I didn't join a fraternity." "Yeah, I know." "It must be a drag, that frat life, huh, Steve?" "A drag?" "Yeah, I get it." "Beat it." "Hey, man, bathroom material." "Stevie, you look ravishing." "Come on, show us a little leg, baby." "Come on, lift it up." "See that knee." " Yeah." " Yeah." " Oh, nice." " l'm getting turned on here." "Well, that's what I'm here for, John." "Such a good job too." "Oh, man, that Steve's a good guy, man." " He's a wimp." " Give him some credit, John." "He's done everything we've asked him to do." "Yeah, well, you know what the real test is gonna be?" "There's no way he's gonna steal that baseball." " He doesn't have the guts." " l don't know, man." "I wouldn't put it past him." "Hey, I was just checking out your library." "It's no wonder you know so much about the seals." "Sea lions." "Yeah, I've been into that stuff for a long time." "Seems to me it's more like your passion." "No, you are." "Listen, Em, I know about the Cousteau Institute." "Rosie told me." " l'm gonna kill her." " No, you aren't." "She's just being a good friend." "You've gotta go for this, Emily." "This is the opportunity of a lifetime." " Well, it's not your decision to make." " l know." "But maybe it's time you face reality." "Don't try and make up my mind for me." "You want reality?" "Maybe I'm not ready to move halfway across the world." " Maybe I'm not up to this yet." " What, are you kidding?" "Of course you're ready for this." "You're ready for anything." " Brandon, I can't." " Why not?" "Because I love you." "I don't know if I could take losing you again." "You mean you'd give this whole thing up for me?" "Not for you, for me." "Well, and you." "Don't worry." "We'll work something out." " Hey, Bren." " Hey." " ls that your new play?" " Yeah." "What time does it start tonight?" "Well, I mean, it's not really a play." "It's more like a work in progress." " You don't have to come." " Brenda, I would not miss your debut." "Kelly, maybe you ought to pass on this one." "Why?" "What's the matter?" "Here." "Read this." "You have to take off your clothes?" "Well, Van Gogh cut off his ear for art, right?" "If I'm an artist, then I have to take chances." "But your clothes, you taking them off?" "It's not as if I'm breaking the law or something. I don't think." "Anyway, it's experimental theater." "It's just an experiment." "What about your parents?" "Do they know?" "Are you kidding?" "It's just a workshop program." "I think that they can live without it, you know?" "So, you guys, I saw these posters all over the English building." "The Mask of Melancholy doth open this eve." " You saw posters?" " Yeah." "Nothing fancy, but they're all over the kiosk." "Oh, my God." "What is it, Bren?" "Nothing." "Just a little stage fright, I guess." "Come on, I'll be there." "Dylan, you don't really have to come." "I mean, don't give up any studying for it or anything." "I'm pretty lousy." "Bren, there are no bad actors, only bad plays." "Break a leg." "Look out there." "You can see the tide shift." "You know, where the bay becomes the ocean." "It comes in all day and goes out all night." "It can't make up its mind." "Like me." "What do you think I should do?" "It's not my decision to make, Em." "Well, what if I go to France and it's as awful as that rice curd?" "Then you'll come home." "But what if I love it?" "Then you'll be happy." "What's wrong with that?" "I can't go backwards." "I'll end up right back where l started." "I didn't like myself very much then." "Listen, Em, you're the one who said you gotta take risks." "If you don't do this, you're gonna regret it." "Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon, and for the rest of your life." "I love you." "I love you too." "Come on, got a lot of packing to do." "You know, of all the girls that Brandon's brought in here, he was pretty stuck on that Emily Valentine." "Do you think he's coming back?" "I hope so." "He'll be back." "He'd better be back, I already paid for his tuition next semester." " Hey, hey." " Hey, you." "Hey there." "Whatever happened to a home-cooked meal?" "Well, with Brandon out of town and Brenda rehearsing all the time, I figured I'd give myself a night off." "So you guys going to the play tonight?" " lt's tonight?" " Yeah, she didn't tell you?" "So, what kind of play is this?" "Comedy, drama, musical?" "Well, Brenda says it's experimental." "So, what does that make us?" "Guinea pigs?" " l'm sure it's very, very provocative." " Yes." "Or very boring." " Hi, guys." " Dylan." " What's wrong?" " Just go." "Nothing yet." "Anybody seen Bren?" "So how's the house?" "I don't know." "I was just about to check." "Isn't this exciting?" "Oh, my God, my parents are here." "So?" "They've seen you naked before." "Rosie will take care of shipping a few things, you know, my books and stuff." "Go or stay?" "Curlers I haven't used in five years." "I'd better take them." "You know, Emily, you're taking everything you own." "They do have stores in France, you know." " T-shirts?" " All of them." "Oh, look, it's my favorite shirt." "My favorite shirt." "Best Christmas present I ever got." "I must have been feeling pretty generous that day." " Well, you're not getting it back." " l don't want it back." "Until you come back wearing it." "You're doing the right thing, you know." "I know." "Promise you'll write." "I'll write." " And call." " l'll call." "And I'll call too." "And maybe you can even come visit me." "It's supposed to be beautiful on the Brittany Coast." "So, what time does your plane leave?" "I have to leave here at 7 in the morning." "Well, that means we've got a little over nine hours." "That's all the time in the world." "I'm tired of the lies, tired of the deception." "Tired of the denial that defines my daily existence." "But what is truth?" " l must look into my soul." " ls it me or is this really awful?" "Jim." " lt's really awful." " But how can I strip away the mask, remove the paint, cast away the armor that prevents me from finding my true identity without taking away the shield that protects us all?" "Clothes are the ultimate mask." "Oh, my God, she's gonna do it." "She's gonna take off her clothes." " Only when we are truly naked..." " She's what?" "Well, this play may not be as boring as we thought." "When we explore our innermost selves and become what we were meant to be." "Hang on, I'll just be a minute." "Hold on." "Just one second." "Hold on." "Looks like he has a friend." "You know, on second thought, maybe I don't really wanna know my innermost self." "Maybe masks aren't so bad." "After all, if God wanted us to be naked, why did he invent sexy lingerie?" "Honey, you were just wonderful." "Yeah, Bren." "The play sucked, but you were great." "I thought you were actually gonna take your clothes off." "Yeah, a lot of people did." "Hi, Brenda, could I see you for a minute?" "Sure, Pablo." "What was that?" "Pablo, my parents were in the audience." "I don't care if the pope was in the audience, okay?" "That was a travesty." "Your job is to deliver my lines and take my direction." "I thought it was funny." "Well, I didn't say it wasn't funny." "Look, everybody loved it." "What happened to taking chances?" "I took a chance and it worked." "Hey, I gave you a break, okay?" "And you turned my play into a farce." "Look, why don't you just stop pouting?" "If you wanna go back to the original script tomorrow night, fine." "I'll do it. I'll take off all my clothes if that'll make you happy." "No, don't change a thing." "You were great." "Thanks." "Bingo." "Hold it right there." " Damn." " Don't move." "Spread them." "Now." "That's the last of it." "Why won't you let me take you to the airport?" "It's better this way, Brandon." "Airport goodbyes always make me feel like I'm in a scene from some old movie." "That's my cab." "That's my stuff right there." "Just a second." "I want you to promise me something." "What?" "I can't ask you to be faithful to me the whole time I'm gone." "Well, what if I wanna be?" "That wouldn't be fair and you know it." "So promise me one thing." "Be faithful to yourself." "I love you, Brandon." "I love you too." "Well, I guess this is it." " For now." " For now." "Got my address?" "I got it." "I'll call as soon as I get there and give you my phone number." "Don't forget." "I won't forget." "No." "Bye." "Bye, Brandon." "Goodbye, Em."