"(Crows caw)" "(Frankie) Back to school." "Time to leave the carefree memories of summer behind and buckle down for another year." "Here we go again." "Ugh." "Do we have to?" "I'm not ready." "Can't we go back to June, when the whole summer was stretched out in front of us?" "(Scoffs) You got no memory for pain, Frankie." "You sure you wanna go back there?" "Well, we were very hopeful when it started." "(Birds chirping) _" "You smell that?" "I'm telling you, something's dead in this car." "It goes away in the winter, but it reactivates in the summer." "No, no." "The grass, Mike." "Fresh-cut grass." "If it's fresh-cut, you know it's not ours." "Doesn't it just take you back, though?" "That's it right there." "You know, it's just that thing, that feeling of summer that you can't describe, you know, "this."" "(Sighs)" "We should have an amazing summer, Mike." "Let's have an amazing summer." "Yes, let's, my darling." "With our travel budget of whatever's in the couch cushions, the world is our oyster." "Ugh." "It's not just about money, Mike." "I mean, don't you remember summer as a kid?" "Going to drive-in movies, playing ghost in the graveyard till your folks called you inside?" " Oh, yeah." "That was a real summer." " Yeah." "I could kill a whole day just smacking a tennis ball against the house and lying on my back, in the yard, doing this..." "(Squeaks)" "Love that." "Still can't do that." "Ah, it's not hard, Frankie." "It's all in the thumbs." "You gotta use your thumbs." "Meanwhile, our kids were busy using their thumbs for other things." "(Cell phones and video game beeping)" "(Scoffs) Look at this." "Unh-unh." "Come on." "Turn 'em off." "(Beeping stops)" "You're not spending your whole summer staring at screens." "(Axl, Brick, and Sue groan)" "(Turns TV on)" " (Man) I'm going in!" " That goes for the TV, too." "(Axl, Brick, and Sue groan)" "Whoa!" "Careful!" "Out." "(Axl, Sue, and Brick groan)" "Well, I don't see any kids zombied out all over my couch, so my talk must've done something." "Well, don't get too excited." "I just busted them huddled in the garage, watching the old black and white TV with the cracked screen." "Are you serious?" "What is wrong with them?" "I-I told them to go outside." "Oh, my gosh." "You told them something, and they didn't do it?" "Maybe those weren't our kids." "I don't get it." "When I was a kid, I ate supper with one foot on the floor." "I couldn't wait to get outside." "And I didn't even need any toys." "All I needed was a stick and a rock." "How do you think I got 'em out of the garage?" "(Chuckles)" "They really are pathetic, Mike." "All they care about is getting 100,000 coins for Farmville or Pac-Man or whatever it is they're playing." "I'm pretty sure they're not playing Pac-Man." "Yeah, the point is, Axl's gonna be a senior." "This might be the last summer we're all together as a family." "I just don't want them clicking it away." "We have to reactivate them, kind of like that smelly dead thing in the car." "Ugh!" "This is so pointless." "It's our summer." "I mean, they're the ones forcing us to go to school all year." "This is our time to unwind howsoever and with whatsoever we choose, right?" "Totalmundo." "That's not a thing people really say, is it?" " No." " Well, I might try to start it." "I wouldn't." "I know dad acted like this was his idea, but this has mom written all over it." "If they're all of a sudden gonna start caring," "I'd appreciate a little heads-up." "Brick, what are you doing?" "You didn't kill another pet, did you?" "No, I don't even have a pet right now." "Do I?" "I'm planting a tomato." "That's weird." "I found it in my backpack." " Oh, that's much more normal then." " I must've left it in there from when we were learning about photosynthesis." "Ah!" "That sounds like a school word, Brick." "It's summer." "Leave the learning inside." "(Front door opens and closes)" "Hey, guys." "Your dad and I were talking..." "Ugh!" "Why?" "(Sighs) And we've come up with a fun summer thing for the whole family." "Adoption?" "Just say the word." "Look, we've been watching you three, and, uh, I gotta tell you, it's sad." "We're sad for you." "You got no clue of what a fun summer is." "And to that end, we are going to... a drive-in!" " I get fries." " No fair." "You always call fries first" " and them mom makes us share." " I want my own fries!" "No, not a drive-thru, you fools." "We're talking about a drive-in movie." "Movie!" "They're letting us watch a movie!" "No." "Stop." "Nobody's going inside." "Your mom and I are taking you to a fun summer thing, and it's only 2 bucks a car, and it's called a drive-in movie." "(Gasps) Is that like the ride at Disney World where you're actually in the movie?" "We're going to Disney World?" "!" "Nobody's going to Disney World." "Nobody's in the movie." "Ugh." "It's about giving you people some... this." "They have no appreciation of "this."" "(Sue) I don't get it." "Why would we drive somewhere to watch a movie when we can just watch a movie here?" "I-I just don't understand what we're doing." "Yeah, I'm with Sue-pid." "Sounds like a waste of gas to me." "Totalmundo." "The car isn't moving." "You're... you're... you're sitting in, like, a parking lot." "You're not making this sound fun." "So we're not allowed to watch a movie here, but we can watch one outside?" "Do you guys get this?" "I-I don't get it." "There's nothing to get." "Your dad and I were talking..." " I told you this was all her." " It's not all me!" "Your dad and I had an insane idea together that we could all do something that we thought was fun when we were younger." "Oh, no." "Here it comes." "More tales of life on the prairie." "Fine." "You win." "We'll play tennis." "And I'll stay here with my tomato." "(Whispers) To-mah-to." "Nobody stays." "Everybody, put on your shoes and let's go." "Or you could put on your PJs." "(Axl, Sue, and Brick) What?" "'Cause you'll be in the car." "I don't get it." "Why are we still in the car?" " I thought we nixed that." " What are we even talking about?" "I'm really, really confused." "Okay." "Imagine a giant iPhone that you can drive up to." "I'm listening." "So we dragged our poor victims off into the night toward a future fond memory made just for them by... yeah, awesome parents who care." "Oh, boy." "(Laughs)" "Ooh!" "Check this out." "Yeah." "Hi." "I'll have a large fries and..." "Axl." "Let him order." "He'll figure it out soon enough." "Look at this, you guys." "It's a triple feature..." ""Chitty Chitty Bang Bang,"" ""Fiddler on the Roof," and "Serpico."" "Mm. 2 bucks a car." "It makes sense." "I've never even heard of any of those movies." "You never said they were gonna be old movies." "They're not old." "They're classic." ""Classic" is code for "lame."" "I mean, how could it not be?" "The first one has "chitty" right in the title." "Oh, look!" "There's a playground up there." "And after you play on that, when the movie starts, you come back to the car." "If I leave the car, I'm never coming back." "Hey, look." "The couple in the car next to us are wrestling." "Oh." "Hey!" "Family night!" "(Honks horn)" "Axl, switch with me." "I can't see behind dad." "Pfft." "Axl, I think you're gonna really like "Serpico."" "It's got Pacino in it." "Remember the coach" " from "Any Given Sunday"?" " Oh, yeah?" "Cool." "Great football movie." "Oh, hey, that reminds me." "The, uh, scout from Southern called again." "I think he knows another school's after you." " Axl, switch with me." " It's tough to pick." "I mean, East Indiana's got hotter chicks, but Southern's are supposed to be sluttier, so... (Honks horn) Family night." "Dad, can you duck down when the movie starts?" "Hang on." "You know, Axl, maybe we can visit both campuses again later in the summer." "Dad." "I still can't believe we're choosing between two schools." "(Laughs) I know, for Axl." "Dad, I am not gonna be able to see when I'm behind you." "(Frankie, Axl, Brick, and Mike talking at same time)" "Dad!" "Dad!" "Dad!" "Dad!" "Dad!" "(Axl) Guys, I'm trying to listen to what they're saying." "Axl, switch with me!" "Get your freak leg off of me, sue!" "God!" "Dad's not listening to me!" "What..." "Okay, guys." "Hey, guys." "Hey!" "Hey!" "Hey!" "Hey!" "Why don't you all go to the swing set?" "Uh, 'cause I'm not 6." "Not a suggestion." " Ugh!" " Go." "Come on." "(Music playing over speaker)" "(Sighs)" "Why do I feel like this was more fun when we were kids?" "Because when we were kids we didn't have kids?" "Ah." "(Squeaking)" "Axl, do I have anything on my butt?" "No, you're good." "God, this is lame." "Every year, they go through some kind of midlife crisis." "Thank God their lives are more than halfway over." "By the way, nice job getting us kicked out of the car, Sue." "It wasn't my fault." "I was trying to get dad to listen to me, but he only wanted to hear you go on and on about football." "Well, that's 'cause I'm his favorite." "What?" "You are not dad's favorite, Axl." "(Chuckles) Okay." "Nobody is anybody's favorite." "Parents don't have favorite kids." "Sure they do." "Everybody's got a favorite everything." " What's your favorite fruit?" " Banana." " Favorite group?" " One Direction." " Favorite movie?" " "Fiddler on the Roof."" "You haven't seen it yet." "Yeah, but I have a really good feeling about it." "See?" "You think parents don't have a favorite kid?" "Everybody has a favorite everything, and in this family, the favorite kid is me." "(Scoffs) Ha." "That's hilarious." "Why would you be their favorite?" "You cause them so much stress, you get bad grades, you do dumb things with your friends." "There is no way you're they're favorite." "Oh!" "There is way!" "I'm their firstborn." "I was born when they still had love to give." "Well, actually, I'm the baby, so I'm pretty sure I'm the favorite." "You're a loser who misses a tomato." "I win." "Believe what you want, but in every book, every movie, the baby is always the favorite." "Not when he's an accident." "That is not true." "Sue!" "They called you "Oops" till you were 3." "Look, there is two of you, and I am the only girl." "Everyone knows girls are easier." "I am so, so nice." "I think it's pretty clear who the favorite would be if they had a favorite, which they don't." "Sue, think about it." "What do you really contribute to this family?" "I mean, Oops is freakishly smart," "I got recruiters all wanting a piece of the ax, and hmm, what has Sue Sue Heck really brought to the party?" "Nothing but the huge rust stain on her butt." "Axl!" "Look, clearly, you two didn't fulfill them, and they were forced to keep going until they got what they wanted... moi." "You don't know anything." "Neither of you." "Parents don't have favorite kids!" "I'm sorry!" "They just don't!" "Least favorite says "what."" "What?" "(Laughs)" "See, it's funny because he said "least favorite says 'what, '"" "and then you repeated "what" and..." "Don't nerd up my joke, Brick." "Just let it lie." " (Sighs) This is nice, isn't it?" " Mm-hmm." "We should do more things like this." "(Cartoon playing indistinctly)" "Why don't we do more things like this?" "(Mouth full) I don't know." "Let's worry about why we don't do it more when we're not doing it now." "Okay?" "Good plan." "Okay, I get the seat behind mom." "(Brick and Axl speak indistinctly)" " Ah!" "What?" "I mean, as long as we..." " Whoo, popcorn!" " There you go." "Help yourself..." " Gimme some of that." " For crying out loud." " (Spits) No ranch seasoning?" "Whatever." "I'll just eat this till my fires come." "♪" "Mom, I really need to ask you something." " Shh." "Movie's starting." " Mm." "How can you tell?" "Is that the sound?" "It's so crackly." "Oh, my God." "I can barely hear it." " Turn it up." "Up!" "Up!" "Up!" " Okay." "I think I missed the beginning." "The credits are my favorite part." "Can someone rewind it?" "Fun to witness the death of civilization up close, isn't it?" "Do you guys have favorite kids?" "Mm." "I like those Donahues." "No, of us." "Mom, I really want to know this." "Do you guys have favorite kids?" "Among us kids, do you guys have favorites?" "Honey, don't be ridiculous." "Parents love all their kids infinitely." "If there's infinite love, then it's not possible to love one more than the other, because infinite love is infinite." "(Mouth full) Guess I'd say Axl." " (Gasps) Dad!" " Mike!" "What?" "Well, no, sure, the infinite stuff your mom said..." "Yeah, but, I mean, if I had to pick, it's... it's..." "I just have more in common with him, I guess." "♪" "What?" "Why you staring at me?" "I..." "We have football, we hang out together, talking about sports." "It's not personal." "Just human nature." "♪" "What?" "Told ya. (Crunches)" "(Clank)" "Ohh." "As June turned into late June," "Brick's tomato plant grew... (Birds chirp)" "And grew..." "And finally turned into a tomato." "Yep, anyone who said our summer wasn't progressing beautifully didn't know what they were talking about." "I'm just saying, East Indiana State is closer." "You gotta consider that." "We still don't know how much they're gonna play you, but I like the package they're putting together." "(Mouth full) I don't want to be closer." "I wanna be as far away from you people as possible." "It's like when Tevye decided his town was too small, so he went on the flying car to New York to become a cop." "You do know that's three separate movies?" "Dad, I know you're aware that since the incident at the drive-in," "I've kinda been freezing you out." "Mm-hmm?" "I guess I just sorta felt like Serpico when his toymaker friend betrayed him, you know, before the pogrom guys burned down the wedding." "Again, three separate movies." "My point is, I think I was blaming you, but I realized" "I have to shoulder the responsibility as well." "Of course it would make sense that Axl would be your favorite." "You spend more time with him, and he's a boy and everything, and I've gotta own that." "Sue, he's not my favorite." "It's just a dumb thing I said." "Owning it." "But it's not enough just to own it." "I have to fix it, and that's why I'm hereby declaring this the summer of Sue and dad!" "Wow!" "That's a... big book." "Yes, it is, and you and I are gonna fill every single page with special memories of our summer together." "Memories we make... starting now. (Squeals)" "(Beep, shutter clicks)" "Aah!" "Adorbs!" "I'm gonna go print it out right now!" "Okay." "Infinite love." "Could've been so easy." "And as the summer wore on," "Mike realized that more and more." "Pick a color." "Blue." "B-L-U-E." "Pick a number." " Three." " One, two, three." "Pick a higher number." " Four." " One, two, three, four." "So then Spencer came back and was like," ""are you guys going to the pool?"" "and carly thinks he was asking her out, but he did say "guys," so I'm not sure." "What do you think, dad?" "Brad's at tap camp, so I really need a man's opinion." "Uh..." "It's called pass the candle, and it's a really cool trust exercise." "We do it at slumber parties all the time." "I just shared with you that I don't really like the feel of sticky tape." "Now it's your turn to share something with me." "(Blows air)" "Wait." "Dad, did you make a wish?" "Yes." "Yes, I did." "(Breathing deeply)" "Relax." "She's not here." "What are you doing?" "Working out and bulking up at the same time." "I'm the world's most efficient man. (Chuckles)" "(Splashes)" "(Frankie) Axl!" "What is this that I just found under your bed?" "I swear it's not mine." "It's a report card with your name on it." "Oh, yeah." "That's mine." "(Sighs)" "Look at this, Mike." "It turns our your favorite son failed a class." " What?" " Well, I can explain." "All right, the first half of the year," "I didn't even know I was taking it." "I thought I had a free period, then everyone was too far ahead, and I was totally lost." "In English?" "That shouldn't even be a requirement." "I've been speaking it, like, half my life." "How long were you planning on hiding this from us?" "I swear, I was gonna tell you right after" "I did something good, but nothing good happened, so..." "If you're gonna sit around this house waiting for good things to happen, you got a long wait, mister." "What's going on?" "Is Axl in some kind of trouble?" "Uh, yeah, your brother may not be going to college." "Chillax." "I got, like, two schools fighting over me." "Not if you don't finish high school, you don't." "You know, my report card was quite good." "I could maybe tack it up here on the fridge for you to peruse at your leisure." "It's not that big of a deal." "It's one class." "I can just take it next year." "No, you can't." "You've got a full course load as it is." "Damn it, Axl!" "We were gonna spend one last summer together, and now I gotta scramble around to see if I can even get you into summer school!" "No!" "No school in summer." "Those things together are an oxymoron." "Whoa." "I think I used it right." "See?" "I know this stuff." "The passing grade is just a formality." "Please." "Don't make me go to summer school." "What about the... the... the... the "this"?" "Huh?" "You said that was very important." "I'll go outside right now and hit tennis balls." "Since I got good grades, I could go do that." "Dad, care to join me?" "(Camera shutter clicks)" "Okay, let me tell you what's gonna happen now." "You are going to go to summer school, and you are going to excel, or I am gonna reach under that bed of yours and choke you with whatever else I find there!" "God." "That's so typical." "You just focus on the one bad thing and completely ignore all the C's and D's." "(Sighs)" "Oh, my God." "Summer school's even lamer than real school." "Now they expect me to memorize a dumb raven poems that barely even rhyme." "I mean, I could write a billion times better one than this right now." "Summer blows." "Away it goes." "It's totally sucky..." "Something that rhymes with "sucky."" "I think Poe can rest easy another day." "This is good, guys." "We got here early." "We staked out a really good spot." "Ooh!" "Yeah, baby!" "I love me some fireworks!" "Nothing says summer like fireworks." "Still in there swinging', huh, pally?" " Mm-hmm." " Gotta hand it to us." "A lesser family would've given up." "Is there a lesser family?" "Ugh." "There's barely anyone here." "That's because everybody with lesser parents are in their houses, glued to their screens, and we are having a nice picnic." "Who's got the blue bag?" "(Mike, Sue, Axl, and Brick) You forgot the blue bag?" "No, I absolutely did not forget the blue bag." "I pulled it out of the trunk." "Relax." "I probably set it next to the car." "I'll just go back and get it." "Dad, I made up a bunch of questions for us to ask each other." "I call it "the summer of Sue and dad survey,"" "which when abbreviated spells "so sad," but it's not." "It's the opposite of that." "It's happy." "Mm." "How long is this gonna last?" "Your daughter loving you?" "I don't know." "Okay, question one..." "Which character on "Glee" do you most identify with and why?" "Dad, wanna go toss a football around?" "Yes." "I think better when I move." "Ooh." "All right, dad, going wide!" "(Mike) Good catch!" "You're trying way too hard with dad, Sue." "It's getting embarrassing." "Uh... (Scoffs) I think the collage I made of us making collages would beg to differ." "I have made a lot of good headway." "Found it." "A few things fell out, but this chicken is good." "Mmm." "So you're not dad's favorite." "Move on." "I've made peace with it." "(Mouth full) Oh, come on." "Are you guys still talking about this?" "Look, your dad says stuff, he doesn't think, there's no favorites, he loves you all the same." "(Mike) How about this kid?" "That's my boy!" "Axl, get off of dad's shoulders." "It's time to eat." "(Axl)" " All right!" "Whoo!" "(Mike)" " Great pass!" "Mmm." "Triangle watermelon." "My favorite." "See?" "What'd I tell you?" "Fruit, kids, parents, everything." "Parents?" "Hells, yeah, parents." "I got favorites." "Like, in terms of you two, hands down, dad's my favorite." "Axl, we shouldn't do this." "It only ends up hurting people's feelings." "It's okay, Sue." "I have pretty thick skin." "I mean, of course Axl's gonna say dad's his favorite." "Dad picked him." "They're in cahoots." "I'm not in cahoots with anyone." "(Scoffs) This is a silly discussion to even be having." "Everyone has their own opinions." "Right, guys?" "I don't think we should be talking about this." "No." "Go on, Brick." "I think we're all very interested in what you have to say." "Look, you have a lot of things in your favor." "I'm not saying it wasn't a tough call, but I gotta go dad." "Dad?" "This guy right here?" "You're the one that nags them." "That's all." "That's the only reason they're picking me." "This is you defending me?" "The nag defense?" "You do nag us a lot." "(Sue) No, you guys." "Stop." "You can't just discount mom." "Mom is there for us." "She does a lot of things for us." "Yeah..." "Think about it." "How much does she really do?" "I mean, she doesn't cook us that much food." "Then again, do we really want her to?" "This chicken's pretty rank." "(Mouth full) I like it." "That is true." "Your after-school pickup record's a little spotty." "She's not the most reliable." "She did leave me at wrestlerette practice so late the janitor went home and my hair froze." "It was one time." "I fell asleep." "Come on." "You were going in the right direction there before, Sue." "Just stand up for yourself and your beliefs." "Yeah, just say it, Sue." "Who's your favorite?" "I am not gonna do this." "I am not gonna participate in anything that's just gonna end up hurting mom's feelings." "(Gasps)" "I'm sorry, mom." "I am so, so sorry." "It's just that it's the summer of Sue and dad." "Wow." "Wow." "Wow." "Wow." "Wow." "Wow." "So you're not their favorite parent." "You're a solid second place." " Eh." " Eh?" "Mrs. Donahue sends Sean with extra cookies for my lunch." "Hang on." "This is wrong." "None of us are being fair to mom here." "Maybe if you made your case." "Oh, please." "I am not gonna make my case." "(Mouth full) Okay, fine." "First of all, I'm the one that does all things kid-related." "I sign all your permission slips," "I run out and get you poster board," "I clean that cesspool you call a backpack." "Frankie, don't do this." "Oh, I'm doing it." "Do you know all three of your heads were unnaturally large, thanks to your giant favorite parent over here's weird genetic quirk?" "And that after 27 months of carrying you people around," "I can no longer sneeze or laugh or jump in the bouncy house without peeing?" "They don't really need to know that." "Okay." "What about tonight?" "Who's the one that got us out of the house, that packed the blue bag full of tasty chicken, and searched the newspapers for the best park with the best view of the best fireworks, all so we could create one stinking memory of "this"?" "Well, if anybody's still confused, it was me." "Me, me, me." "So just lie down, stop talking, and start watching, because nothing says summer like fireworks!" "(Fireworks explode in distance)" "Nobody... say..." "anything." "As July turned into August, the only healthy relationship left in the house was Brick and his tomato." "It grew so big he needed to find support for it." "(Frankie) Brick!" "And then he found other support for it." "(Sue) Brick!" "I'd like to say we were making the same progress on our summer..." "(Tv playing indistinctly)" "But I wasn't throwing in the towel just yet." "Guys, come on." "It's a beautiful day out there, and I'm about to show you some real fun." "Guess what I used to do when I was a kid." "Ride dinosaurs?" "Yes, 'cause I'm a billion years old." "Come on." "You're gonna love it." "(All groan)" "Ta-da!" "What are we supposed to do?" "Run through it." "Why?" "Because it's fun." "Come on." "I'll show you." "Whoo-hoo!" "Whoo!" "What do you do now?" "You run through it again, like..." "Whoa!" "Whoa!" "It's cold, but exhilarating." "I don't get it." " Please stop." " Me neither." "No, try it." "Listen if your clothes get wet," "I won't freak out on you like your dad would." "Come on." "It's... it's spontaneous." "Just..." "Whoo!" "You can go slow or you can go fast." "Aah!" "Skip..." "You can go backwards." "Whoo!" "Ooh." "You can pretend like you're leaping into another dimension." "Oh, sure." "If your dad suggested it, you would do it." "Well, I'm not playing this popularity contest." "Yeah, I'm not." "You know, Brick," "I always thought you and I had a special bond." "Hmm?" "Mother and son..." "no stronger bond on earth." "Really?" "I thought you believed in infinite love." "Well, yes, infinite love while also understanding that you might have a special connection to one person or parent more than the other." "And here's the thing." "I know you probably felt the pressure to say dad was your favorite 'cause that's the way the whole family seemed to be leaning, but honestly," "I think it takes real character to speak out and express your own feelings, and I think that you have that kind of character." "Mom, you're better than this." "I'm not, though, Brick." "I'm really not." "This is killing me." "How could you pick dad over me?" "He says it's okay if my socks don't match." "But it's not!" "Because people will think you're weird, and I'm only telling you that 'cause I love you more than dad." "It's 'cause he's tall." "People love tall people." "I've seen the studies." "Look, to be honest," "I think the fireworks thing really set you back." "I mean, you literally robbed us of fire in the sky." "Plus, we all got sick from your chicken." "That was a month ago." "What, are you guys keeping score?" "32 to 10." "And if it was up to Axl and Sue, you'd only have 4 points." "(Sighs)" " Brick, does dad know you're..." " Oh, don't worry." "They're not dad's." "I found them on the playground." "(Sighs)" "All right." "So, uh, listen, just off the top of my head, you know, totally unrelated to this discussion, summer's almost over." "So if there's anything, anything at all that you wanted to do," "I'd certainly do my best to try and make it happen." "Really?" "Well, actually," "I read that the River County fair is having a big tomato contest." "The winner gets a trophy and a shout-out on the River Soil web site." "Ugh." "Brick, it's three hours away." "It'll probably get you 20 points." "(Sighs) Fine." "(Gasps) Dad, so glad you're home." "I got markers, stencils, and jewels, and I thought we could each make a page for the "summer of Sue and dad" book, but we don't know what the other is doing, and then we dedicate 'em to each other." "Hang on, Sue." "Axl, what are you doing?" "I am pen face." "(Laughs)" "Well, be book face and start studying." "You got a lot of material to cover by Friday." "Uh, how many times have you taken eleventh grade English?" "'Cause I've taken it twice now, so I think I know a little bit more than you." "Dad, glitter glue or sharpie markers?" "Oh, is that so?" "Okay." "Let's take a little quiz." "In the first act of "Death of a Salesman,"" "which character..." "Death." "(Sighs) Death isn't even a character, Axl." "That's fine." "I guess we'll just sit here and go over this together." "And it was at that moment, Sue realized..." "Attention didn't have to be positive, and maybe negative attention was better than no attention at all." "So Sue set out to explore her dark side." "Well, dark for Sue." "She used Mike's razor... (Gasps) Ah!" "Not using a coaster." "Nope." "Hot day, too." "Whatevs." "She didn't wind up the hose..." "And worst of all..." "Going to bed without my headgear, even though the orthodontist totally recommends I wear it at night." "But I don't care." "Whatevs." "So as we headed into the final few days of summer, we were all frustrated, but we had one more chance to salvage the summer... the River County fair." "(Thump) Hey, gentle on the bumps, please." "I can't believe this." "I finally finish my last English paper while we're pumping gas, and instead of taking me out or buying me a reward," "I'm stuck chauffeuring a tomato to a loser fest." "This is a big deal." "There was a whole write-up about last year's." "Listen to this..." ""As gawkers lined past the table full of tomatoes, they were heard to exclaim, 'well, I never saw anything like this, ' and 'I think this one's gonna be a winner.'"" "Aah!" "Axl, come on." "This could be our last summer together as a family." "Don't you want to get some of "this"" "before you're out there dealing with all that?" "Oh, my God." "Isn't "this" over yet?" "It's not this." "It's "this."" "Well, I want to do this, this, and... (Imitates gunshot) This." "You know, dad, I'm not surprised you wanted to drive together so you could talk to me alone." "What are you talking about?" "I had to stop at work first, and you said you wanted to come with me." "I get it." "I've been out of control." "I'm sure you're very disappointed in my behavior." "Well, you've been sort of annoying with that scrapbook." "No, it's good you're intervening now, 'cause I am at a crucial point in my life where I could go either way." "♪ Do-do-do-do ♪" "♪ do-do-do-do ♪" "I mean," "I stopped taking my multivitamins, so I don't know where that's gonna lead." "Yep." "Probably got a lot of attention headed my way, and not the good kind." "(Cheering on radio)" "I've done some bad things, dad." "Bad things." "Yesterday I was at a health fair, and there was a booth with a basket of chapstick, and I took one." "Maybe they weren't even free." "I don't know." "They could've been for sale, and I just shoplifted." "Whatevs." "Oh, God." "Oh!" "I think I'm gonna throw up." "You didn't eat the ham sandwich that was in that towel, did you?" "I'm just nervous." "I heard there's out-of-towners from Des Moines coming in, and they had above-average rainfall this year." "Axl, let us out." "I gotta give Brick some air." "Just park the car and meet us at the funnel cake stand." "Don't say "funnel cake."" "(Whispers) Funnel cake." "Oh." "You here for the demolition derby?" "Uh, yeah." "Sure." "Okay." "This way." "(Engine idling)" "What the..." "Hey!" "Get back here!" "(Car engine revs)" "Are you kidding me?" "This is the worst parking lot ever." "I'm gonna need your insurance card!" "(Man over PA) Who's gonna win this time?" "(Speaks indistinctly)" "Number 11..." "(Speaks indistinctly)" "(Carnival music playing)" "This worked out just the way you wanted, didn't it, Axl?" "You saw that he was a champion, and you couldn't take that somebody else was gonna get the glory." "You are a small, small, petty man." "God, Brick, it was an accident!" "What about my car?" "Who drives a car into a demolition derby by mistake?" "At least I placed fourth." "If it wasn't for sergeant smashup, I would've medaled." "Listen, everybody, just take a breath." "This is nothing we can't work out over a couple of fried snickers, okay?" "Last Sunday, in church, when the priest told us to pray for the poor, you know, I-I prayed for the rich." "That's just the way my brain is working these days." "I cannot believe that you would do something so moronic." "As I said, we could all use a minute." "Let's just get a fried pie, a couple fried marshmallows." "There's a fried butter stand right in there." "Come on." "Oh." "The car." "Axl, I said we're not talking about..." "No, my paper's in that car!" "My final paper I need to turn in to pass my stupid summer school class!" " Damn it, Axl!" " Axl, are you kidding?" "!" "I ate unwashed fruit!" "(Frankie) Wait!" "Well, I'm not helping." "Hey!" "Wait!" "No, I'm not gonna help go get it, even if somebody asks me..." " Stop!" "Come back!" " (Frankie) Wait!" "To." "As Sue watched the family take off, she realized that whether she joined us or not, no one would notice." "The only way she was gonna get our attention was to... disappear." "So Sue walked the midway for what seemed like forever, trying to get lost, but hoping to be found." "Hi." "Uh, my name is Sue Heck." "Has anyone tried to find me yet?" "No." "I don't think so." "Are you lost?" "Well, no, not yet." "But probably soon." "I'll just wait over here." "(Laughter and cheering in distance)" "So if someone was trying to find me, this is where'd they come." "Correct?" "Yes." "Okay." "Are you here 'cause you're in trouble?" "Oh." "No." "No, no, no, no." "I-I'm a nice girl. (Chuckles)" "Oh." "See?" "(Carnival music plays in distance)" "You know, it's a really crowded fair, so sometimes it takes them a while to notice you're missing." "(Door opens)" "Oscar, thank God!" "Oh." "That was the longest four minutes of our lives." "We don't know what we would've done without you." "Never do that to us again." "All right." "Let's get some ice cream. (Chuckles)" "It's ringing. (Chuckles)" "If you guys are home, um, this is Sue, and I'm still at the fair, so... (Mike) Hi." "We lost something very important." "Our son's English paper." "It was in one of the cars they hauled away to the dump." "We tried to chase it down, but we couldn't catch it, and then we went to the demolition derby arena, but they told us to come here." "I need that paper." "I can't take junior English a third time." "I just can't." "I'm just an hourly hire." "Sorry." "(Sighs)" "Sue, we're all tired from running around, but this is no time to sit." "Let's go." "With Axl's car demolished, his paper gone," "Brick's tomato squashed, and Sue in a dark place, the end of summer was a bust." "There weren't enough foods on a stick to turn this thing around." " Anybody wanna check out the fun house?" " No." "4-H beef show?" "No." "The cheesy side dish judging contest?" "No." "Frankie, can we just pull the rip cord on this thing?" "Let's just admit that our amazing summer was a bust and hope fall is a little kinder to us." "I was at lost and found, and no one knew I was gone." "I just wanna go home." "Fine." "I was just trying 'cause that's what you wanted." "If you're done, I'm done." "Let's just go to the car." " (Frankie) Really?" " I don't believe this." "I always remember where I park." "I hope you guys are deducting points for this." "I think it was near a white van." "Sue, do you remember?" "Oh, I'm sorry." "Were you talking to me?" "I'm tired and emotionally drained." "Where's the car?" "I don't know." "Sue was talking a lot when we parked." "Nice going, dad." "Oh, yeah?" "Really?" "Well, at least I got a car to drive home in." "Oh, ho, like you've never accidentally driven your car into a demolition derby before." "No." "You know what, Axl?" "I haven't." "God, you've been so grumpy all day." " Gee." "I wonder if there's a reason why." " I don't know what you want me to say." "I'll save up for a new car." "This isn't about the car, Axl." "This is about you." "Of course it is." "Do you realize that if you would've gotten hurt, you could've kissed your football scholarship good-bye?" "You gotta start being smart." "I try, but it's not that easy." "Well, I'm tired of being smart for you." "This is your entire future here, and you're playing games with your report card and almost getting killed." "You're 18." "It's time for you to start doing the thinking." "I always think I'm very responsible." "You don't know how lucky you are to have a scholarship." "I'd have killed to play ball in college." "He doesn't care." "He has no respect for people or produce." "Oh, that was not my fault." "All right, you blame mom for dragging us here in the first place." "Hey, me, your nonfavorite, was fine with you watching TV all summer." "He's the one that wanted you off it." "I would've preferred TV to coming here." "Oh, you're the one that wanted "this."" "I was just trying to give it to you." "Oh, no." "No, this has nothing to do with "this."" "The only reason we're here is 'cause you wanted to suck up to Brick." "That's right." "I know all about the 20 points." "Well, I'm done with summer." "But this was supposed to be the summer of Sue and dad!" "Sue!" "Enough already." "I love you, damn it." "I shouldn't have to say it." "(Camera shutter clicks)" "(Explosions)" "(Crowd cheering)" "So it turnout it's impossible to stay mad during fireworks." "You just can't." "It's literally fire in the sky." " (Sue) Oh!" " Oh!" " Ahh!" " Ahh!" " Oh, that's pretty." " The pinwheel ones..." "I love those." "Me, too." " Oh!" " Oh!" "The thing is, you can't force a great summer." "It just happens." "Wait." "I think I got it." "(Blows air)" "Make sure your thumbs are right." "It's all in the thumbs." "(Squeaks)" " Hey." " Epic." "(Laughs)" "I gotta say, of all our summers, that one might've ended up being my favorite." "Not that I have any favorites." "(Chad  Jeremy's "A Summer Song" playing)" "♪ Trees ♪" "♪ swaying' in the summer breeze ♪" "♪ showing' off their silver leaves ♪" "♪ as we walked by ♪" "♪ soft ♪" "♪ kisses on a summer's day ♪" "♪ laughing' all our cares away ♪" "♪ just you and I ♪"