"There are the lovebirds again." "I don't know what's wrong either." "It happens more often." "I've only ever experienced it when I was 16." "I had never done it with a girl yet." "It was during holidays in the countryside." "Yes, at your grandparents' and the field was full of flowers." "You asked if you could kiss her and she took you to the barn." "Each time it's not working, you tell me this story, Samuel." "You can remember this story, but not the code of your bank card." "Those pigeons are getting on my nerves." "I don't love you anymore, Samuel." "It's over." "Out." "Damn it!" "SEVENTH HEAVEN" "We don't have a job for you." "You don't need to see us every day." "When we'll have a job for you, we'll call you." "Why not Prime Minister?" "Micheline?" "It's Samuel." "I need to speak to you urgently." "Do you want to have dinner tonight at my place?" "Just dinner." "Come on." "Call me if you're coming." "But don't call too quickly, because I'm not home yet." "I'm not doing well." "I'm doing absolutely poorly." "I'll be home in fifteen minutes." "If you won't call, I'll call you." "My answering machine doesn't work well." "People who call me, think they've left a message." "But it doesn't record everything anymore." "Sorry, it was very fascinating, but your time's up." "Thanks, bravo and goodbye." "OUT OF ORDER!" "Elevator!" "It's not coming down." "And if you kick it, it won't go up anymore either." "Can't you read?" "Wasn't it hard to get your vacuum cleaner up into my apartment?" "I didn't go up." "Oh, come on." "Mr Samuel, you haven't paid me for three months." "I'm not Mother Theresa." "You're right, I'll pay you." "But now is a bad time." "Have you got work yet?" "It's starting to come along now." "You've been saying that for 6 months." "If you want to pay, you sell your car." "I have no car, but I have got work." "I'm the other way around." "I have no work, but I have a car." "I need it for my job." "But you have no job." "You use it to get your social security." "Have a nice weekend." "Ça va?" "Ça va." "Don't bite my nose off." "I only said 'have a nice weekend'." "I didn't rape you, did I?" "I'm not leaving for the weekend, but for half a year, with my fiancé." "That's not the point." "I expected something more original than 'Ça va'." "Like:" "Ça va and you?" "Thank you." "I didn't ask you anything, did I?" "If you can't even be friendly anymore to people." "There's pigeon poop on your shoe." "Ça va?" "Everything alright, Mr Troyon?" "Samuel, Patrick speaking." "I can't go through with the loan I promised you." "Sorry." "It's a bad moment." "Samuel, Sylvain speaking." "That job I mentioned..." "There's a problem." "Another time maybe." "Ok?" "Sofie speaking..." "Micheline." "Something happened." "We'd better not see each other anymore." "You have to stop calling Micheline." "Micheline's mine." "Mine, understood?" "You and she are finished." "Micheline and I are getting married." "Yes?" "Either you transfer the money or we'll confiscate the car." "Micheline speaking." "If Claude comes by, don't open the door." "He said he's going to beat you up." "But he won't do that." "He's not like that." "About the dinner, I'd rather not." "It's over between us." "VARIOUS WAYS TO COMMIT SUICIDE" "Hello, you have reached Samuel Bloemensteen." "You could leave a message, but I don't think I'll hear it." "Something came up." "I'm dead." "Hello, you have reached Samuel Bloemensteen." "You could leave a message, but I don't think I'll hear it." "Something came up." "I'm dead." "Bye." "I thought she was gone for six months." "First, I'll apologise." "It's Samuel, your upstairs neighbour." "I wanted to apologise for earlier." "I don't want to disturb, but..." "Ok, I'll be honest." "I don't feel well." "I need to talk to someone." "Are you about finished, Mr Samuel?" "Shut up, old mongrel." "I'm unhappy." "Open the door." "What is this?" "Are you opening the door?" "Sorry, I thought a door would be stronger." "I'd have a stronger lock put in." "With all the crazy people walking around." "Oh no!" "Hello?" "Give me Micheline, doofus." "Micheline, it's for you." "It's for you." "Hello." "Samuel?" "Micheline, don't marry a guy you don't know." "He was the type to beat me up, after all." "Stop calling when you feel down." "I'm not your guardian angel." "How To Commit Suicide, page 27." "Does that ring a bell?" "I wanted to say goodbye one last time." "Goodbye." "Samuel, wait." "Don't do it." "Give me one reason why not." "Samuel, there's more than one woman in the world." "Every Jack must have his Jill." "Not this Jack." "A man has more than one woman in his life." "Life's full of surprises." "You might find work tomorrow." "Don't let yourself go because you feel down." "Everything passes." "Samuel?" "Samuel?" "Samuel, I want to talk to you." "Samuel?" "Samuel, listen." "Thirsty." "Hendrik." "But you're not Hendrik." "No, I'm Samuel." "Am I dead?" "Am I not dead?" "Not completely." "Is this my apartment?" "Yes." "What are you doing here then?" "Me?" "I'm your guardian angel." "What do you mean?" "Everybody has a guardian angel." "I'm yours." "You wanted to end it." "That would reflect badly on me." "I have three days to make you appreciate life again." "Without us, there'd be more suicides than Catholics." "I'll take you to the countryside." "We have a network of shelters." "That's my job." "Stay dead or start to live again." "I can prove I'm an angel." "I can make you invisible." "Invisible?" "Yes." "Right, done already." "You can see yourself, of course." "And I can see you too." "But for everybody else, you're completely invisible." "Right, that was it." "It's impossible." "What could possibly happen to you?" "But they don't exist." "You have nothing to lose." "What if... they do exist?" "Hello mum, Samuel speaking." "Fine, fine." "No, I'm not dead." "That was a joke." "Listen, the key to our holiday house is it still in the garden gnome with the wheelbarrow?" "In the plastic Bambi." "Alright, thanks." "No, it's just for three days or so." "I'll clean everything up this time." "Yes, bye mum." "A bit of fresh air will do you good." "Are you crazy?" "Did you think it was summer?" "I thought you could use it in your condition." "Come, close that thing." "Ok, we'll close it." "What's happening now?" "It's stuck again." "Bloody hell." "As you people say." "Can't you fix it?" "Strange for someone who can perform miracles." "I'm a guardian angel, not a mechanic." "Here, put this coat on." "An advertising brochure from the police." "Don't place me on a pedestal." "I'm not perfect." "For instance, when I'm alone and I'm reading, I pick my nose." "And I make little balls of it." "Bad, ain't I?" "And I can lie." "You wouldn't believe it." "Take my dancing classes." "I've never gone to one." "I'm always running after men." "And before I go home I make my tights wet so it looks as if I've been sweating." "So you don't go to those dancing classes and you stick your fingers in your nose?" "Samuel?" "And you make little balls?" "I heard you." "Are you doing better?" "She from upstairs didn't even tell me your name." "You're a little sunshine when you wake up." "Give me one good reason why I shouldn't end it." "You're too beautiful to die already." "Too beautiful." "If you want to be original, tell me I look intelligent." "I didn't say you look dumb, did I?" "My name's Charlyne." "That sounds nice, Charlyne." "It's not a common name, is it?" "Does an angel have a gender?" "Of course not." "A gender... no." "Your parents gave you a beautiful name." "So, no gender." "And no food?" "No food either." "And angels don't drink either?" "No, no." "So you have no basic needs at all?" "Some names smell of sweat." "And other names immediately promote you to Director." "I've never met a cleaner called Charlyne." "And because my name doesn't smell of sweat I have to love life?" "There's more than one man in the world." "There's a Jack for every Jill." "What would an angel know?" "What do you know about broken hearts?" "What it's like when your love leaves you for someone else." "How you can dream you're in bed together but when you wake up, you're alone." "How you can go crazy with self-pity and jealousy." "Do angels cry?" "What do you know about angels?" "Do you know if an angel can fall in love?" "You can't even hang yourself and you want to explain life to me?" "It must have been great fun with you." "Now I know why he left you." "Charlyne." "Charlyne." "Sorry." "Charlyne, I have to tell you something." "Never mind, you're right." "I always ruin everything." "We've had a false start." "That's all." "Of course, a false start." "Forget that I'm an angel." "Let's pretend we're two lovers who are going away for a weekend." "Can an angel dream?" "Yes, but..." "Ok, then." "We're in love and we're going on a trip." "Two lovers." "Love's like alcohol." "When you've had too much to drink you need another drink the next day to get rid of the hangover." "Driver, to the countryside." "Charlyne, I really have to tell you that..." "Two lovers." "...you can't pull stunts like that anymore." "Because I'll have a lot of explaining to do upstairs." "Don't be silly, Charlyne." "We're just pretending, aren't we?" "Yes, but come on..." "Tell me, how did our love affair start?" "What do you want me to say?" "Our first meeting, our first kiss." "All the little things you tell each other afterwards." "Right, the first time we met." "Yes." "The first time I saw you I was blinded by your beauty." "I had to close my eyes." "Or I would have had a guide dog for the rest of my life." "Is it going well?" "Yes, go on." "You were wearing a beautiful lace dress with little frills." "I doubt it, because I don't like lace and I hate frills." "Charlyne, I'm giving up." "What's wrong?" "I didn't mean it in a bad way." "But if you see me as a country gal, I can't keep dreaming." "If you can do it better, you tell the story." "What was it like when we kissed for the first time?" "Our first kiss?" "Yes, our first kiss." "Our first kiss?" "Yes, with the lips and the tongue." "I had only just moved and I went downstairs to put the garbage out." "When I got there, you were there too." "You turned around, looked at me and it was love at first sight." "Our first kiss was between the garbage bags?" "Wait, I was wearing my dress with frills, the way you like it." "Hey, watch it." ""Abram went down to Egypt to live there..."" ""...for the famine was severe."" "Was it this one then?" "Yes, I think so..." ""And it so happened..."" "You think so?" "Then why does it smell of fabric softener?" "Didn't you sweat during the lesson?" "You even sweat during a slow dance." "I don't remember." "Samuel, I'll be right back." "This isn't the right moment, Claude." "Can we borrow the garden hose?" "We have small problem." "You can't borrow anything." "This is city council property and I'm responsible for it." "Yes?" "Would you rather clean it yourself?" "I don't know." "I have to think about that." "It's extra work, isn't it?" "But I'll pay you for it." "We'll see." "We'll make a deal." "I'll quickly get you something to drink." "Make me invisible." "Invisible?" "Why?" "You're not leaving me with that creep, are you?" "I wouldn't feel comfortable." "It's not that easy." "I don't have the right." "I need to have a valid reason." "Then I'll join you." "No, stay here." "Sometimes, I'm allowed to abuse my talent." "Right, that's it." "Invisible." "The car you're about to wash..." "300 francs." "Yes, but there's a girl in the car." "Should I wash her too?" "No, she's a hitchhiker I picked up." "She thinks she's invisible." "I've been pretending I believe her." "She's a bit nuts." "But that isn't my problem." "I don't have to live with her." "It's just for a good..." "Know what I mean?" "When you wash the car, can you pretend you don't see her?" "She won't cause any problems that way." "600 francs." "You are my..." "Micheline, dance." "Dance." "If you have lessons twice a week, dance." "Claude, please." "And?" "I'm going to get a few things." "alright?" "That you're still listening means you still have expectations from life." "That you hope that..." "One moment." "What are you doing?" "So you won't dance?" "I'm doing everything I can to keep him alive." "How can you base our future on a lie?" "I didn't lie, Claude." "I had a dance lesson this morning." "Dance then." "And five, six, seven, eight." "And one, two, three, four, five and six, seven, eight and one, two." "And one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight." "And?" "Claude." "Samuel, you just did me a big favour." "Thank you." "Can angels puke?" "I thought you didn't eat." "Yes, but you have to understand." "We live of other people's happiness." "When we see a lot of misery, it gets stuck here." "And I met someone in that shop." "I'll spare you the story, but it was terrible." "I bet." "I almost had enough time to finish my book." "What's that?" "I found it in the glove compartment." "Do angels read pulp like this?" "I don't know." "I didn't know it was there." "Hot Nights With Paprika." "That's a beautiful title." "Ridiculous how little's in there." "Really?" "You must be an expert." "So?" "Isn't it allowed to be interested in that?" "Not at all." "On the contrary." "For us, sex is holy." "But sex isn't holy at all." "Everybody does it." "Dogs, horses, pigs." "Whales." "Sex isn't about holiness." "It just feels damn good." "Is there a mechanic open around here?" "We farmers say good evening when we barge in somewhere." "Good evening." "Good evening." "What can I do for you?" "Is there a mechanic open around here?" "There is no mechanic here." "Just kidding." "My son is a mechanic, but he's working in the kitchen." "Come back tomorrow." "What do we do now?" "Can we get two rooms then?" "No." "We only have one room available, with a big bed." "That makes it cheaper and creates a more interesting experience." "Ok." "Room 12." "Here's the key." "But there's no door." "Just kidding." "I can't show you because the food's getting cold in the kitchen." "Is there any food left?" "No, nothing." "Just kidding." "You have to go straight to the dining room, because the kitchen's closing." "Can't I freshen up a bit?" "No." "Not kidding." "There's no time." "Jimmy, get their luggage." "Enjoy." "You won't get a menu." "We only have mussels." "A shame you dont't know how good food can be." "I'm not aware of that so I don't miss it." "Do you know how to toast?" "Of course." "To your second life." "To the day you get a willy." "I mean, come on." "No food, no sex." "How do you party up there?" "We masturbate." "Samuel, answer me." "Answer me, please." "Ok, that's what psychoanalysts call transfer of fear." "But I'm not playing that game." "Damn it, asshole." "It's your fault Claude left." "And I'm constantly eating things that make me fat." "So if I understand correctly, there's only one God but there are multiple religions?" "Yes, but Charlyne..." "Yes?" "We're pretending, right?" "Look straight into my eyes." "About that angel stuff, I need to tell you something serious." "It doesn't explain why there are many different religions." "You had too much to drink." "You don't speak about God when you're smashed." "Sex is holy." "Whales don't French kiss." "And you don't talk about God when you're smashed." "Come, let's go to bed." "To bed?" "To do what?" "I don't care everybody's listening." "I have a problem." "This man, Samuel, wants to go to bed with me." "And I want that too." "Why not?" "But the thing is, Samuel has no willy." "That's end of story for me." "Am I right?" "Yes, absolutely." "So why are there so many different religions?" "Charlyne, listen to me." "Do you mind if this gentleman joins you?" "Yes, we do." "We were having a personal conversation." "Can't you put him there?" "Those are regular customers." "They don't want to be disturbed." "And we look like we do?" "Why don't you join us?" "I don't want to disturb." "Not at all." "We only have rollmops left." "The kitchen's closed." "Maybe you can tell me why it is that, although..." "What?" "Why it is that there's only one God but there are many religions?" "I don't know." "Good evening, sir." "Good evening." "I believe it's like with washing powder." "The more products, the higher the turnover." "I'm not sure." "That could be." "Yes." "Something else then." "Do you have a willy?" "Ok, I'm off." "Shut up or I'll break your glasses." "Excuse me, I believe your husband..." "That's my guardian angel." "He found me when I was hanging myself and here I am." "Congratulations." "Washing powder." "Samuel." "Yes?" "Are you angry?" "No." "Are you jealous?" "Me?" "No." "No?" "I'd like it if you were jealous." "Can I come in?" "No, no..." "Yes, yes." "I have to..." "I have to..." "Nice toilet bag." "Now what?" "What are you doing?" "Calling Our Lord?" "That black suitcase and that coat aren't ours." "I'm calling reception." "It's not a mistake." "They're mine." "I may not have a willy, but I can count till two." "We left with my leather bag and your little suitcase." "That makes two." "I know, but they're mine anyway." "Hang up the phone and I'll explain." "Hello?" "Just kidding." "Explain it to me." "You won't be very pleased." "That would be disappointing because, so far, I've had a great time." "When you made me invisible, I went for a treasure hunt." "That can't be true." "I don't get the chance to be invisible every day." "Did anyone see you?" "No, because I was invisible." "But are you sure nobody saw you?" "No, I was invisible, wasn't I?" "Jesus Mary Joseph." "You may have been." "But if people have seen how that landed in my suitcase on its own they may have written down my license number." "How can you be so stupid?" "I won't bother you again." "Charlyne." "Are you having a shower?" "Charlyne." "You're not doing anything stupid, are you?" "Come on, it's not that bad." "You know what we'll do?" "We'll forget everything tonight." "Tomorrow we'll find an address in the suitcase and we'll send it back." "But they're not from the same person." "What do you mean?" "The suitcase and the coat belong to two different people." "Then I'll check the suitcase and the coat." "There's nothing special in the suitcase, just socks." "Here's an address." "We'll send it all back tomorrow." "Come." "Charlyne, come out." "We're like two sea horses in love." "We'll go to sleep and tell each other sweet things and memories and stuff." "And..." "And sweet things." "Are you feeling better?" "Do you have keys in your pocket?" "No." "I thought you had no genitals." "I don't really." "But they gave me a male body and they hung something on it." "But it doesn't really work." "So I can keep pushing you against me and it won't affect you?" "No." "Wow, it's psychologically very reassuring to be with a man who has no ulterior motive." "Is it?" "Sometimes, you just want some affection from a friend." "But, you know, a little gesture like this can often be enough to make a man react." "Come on." "You couldn't understand, but if I do this then that's a code that means there's a big chance I'll agree." "That's fantastic." "And if I do this that means I hope he'll start doing something." "Yes?" "I even knew a guy with who I only had to do this for a moment." "And he'd get a cannon that could shoot through a wall." "Me too." "Can an angel do this?" "I'm pretending." "Just pretending." "You have to have done it with an angel to understand what "seventh heaven" means." "Don't forget that what's seventh heaven for you is only the ground floor for us." "Charlyne?" "I'm not an angel." "I don't have any special talent and you were never invisible." "Everybody saw you steal that suitcase and that coat." "I've been screwed all night by someone I don't know at all?" "That doesn't matter..." "What matters is what's growing between us." "Doesn't matter?" "You raped a dead person, necrophiliac!" "Don't be hysterical." "I didn't rape anyone." "You're always turning me on with your genital talk." "You wanted to bonk an angel." "I didn't turn anyone on." "You jumped my bones." "I wasn't myself." "I wanted to die." "Do you know what I was doing while you were standing there with your rope?" "I also wanted to kill myself, but I came to save you." "I didn't ask for anything." "You can thank me anyway." "Thank you then." "It was standing in a corner." "What was?" "The suitcase." "We'll return it." "We could also keep it." "There are nice socks in there." "An honest person wouldn't do that." "No?" "I'm not an angel, remember?" "After five years it was over." "Her name was Micheline." "Why was it over?" "Would you stay with someone who always lies, is messy and is clumsy in bed?" "Probably not." "Neither did she." "She dumped me." "How long did you stick with your partner?" "I'm cold." "Thank you." "Don't you want to tell me?" "A shame, I would have liked to know." "Do you have a problem with that?" "We're only pretending, aren't we?" "Yes." "Don't all lovers start by telling each other about their past?" "Yes." "Wait, if I don't tell you how I saved my sister from drowning you'll never know you're talking to a hero." "If I don't tell you about my affairs, you'll never know what kind of turbo lover you've found." "Ok, where do I start?" "Sex or heroic deeds?" "Difficult choice." "Ok, from the start." "The first time you did it with a girl, turbo lover." "The last time I talked about my first love, it didn't end very well." "Is that a problem?" "All lovers tell each other about their past." "But you can't laugh." "The first time, there were flowers everywhere." "I was on holiday with my grandparents in the countryside." "A bunch of girls were playing in a field not far away." "One girl was wearing these white little socks and I was a bit in love with her." "Sometimes I'd look at her." "But I was afraid to go out and play with her." "But one time I asked her to go for a walk with me." "And she said yes." "I looked her straight in the eyes and held her hand." "And she took me to her father's barn." "We kissed and it was great." "The next holiday she moved and I never saw her again." "A shame, she could have given you back those 1000 francs." "You left so fast she didn't have time to do that." "I won't be able to look at you for the next 200 years." "How do you know that?" "Charlyne." "Charlyne." "Charlyne." "Charlyne." "Samuel." "Where were you?" "Here." "But how do you do that?" "Samuel." "I'm your guardian angel." "A real angel." "No, wait, about the angel, that was my idea." "I quickly made that up and now you're telling me that you're a real angel." "What a coincidence." "Maybe angels create coincidences." "If your neighbour hadn't turned her music up too loud at the right moment..." "If my neighbour was my guardian angel she wouldn't leave for six months when I'm about to kill myself." "No, because your neighbour left, I could take her place." "If the janitor had left, I'd have taken her place." "No, there's something wrong here..." "And now, Mr Samuel?" "May I remind you that you still owe me three months of rent?" "Charlyne." "Samuel." "Why didn't you tell me earlier?" "You said it yourself." "Lovers first talk about their past and then slowly move to the present." "That's our problem." "We don't have a future." "We have to find a way to end our relationship." "I'm the band-aid on the wound called Micheline and if the band-aid stays on too long, the wound will start to fester." "Very tasteful comparison." "We were pretending, weren't we?" "Yes." "Yes, we were pretending." "But will we ever meet again?" "Yes and no." "Yes, we will or no, we won't?" "Our first kiss and last night, won't there be anything left?" "A lot." "But not of me." "But what's the point of saving my life if you're leaving me even more depressed?" "How do you like my legs?" "Better than Micheline's?" "But that's pure moral cruelty." "Micheline can jump into the canal with her loser Claude." "If you don't care about her today, why kill yourself over her yesterday?" "Is it better if I kill myself over you tomorrow?" "If I were you, I'd wait until the day after tomorrow." "Maybe, tomorrow you'll be telling a girl I can jump into the canal." "Charlyne, I don't want us to never meet again." "No, that's too easy." "Charlyne." "Samuel." "Charlyne?" "I forgot to tell you something." "Return that stolen suitcase." "Angels can't steal." "Is that all you have to tell me as a goodbye?" "Just great." "No, you can keep the coat." "It might bring you luck." "The coat?" "Are angels cynical?" "No, but angels find it hard to say goodbye too." "Why can 't we meet again then?" "Charlyne." "Charlyne." "I'm all alone again." "It's so easy to leave without leaving an address." "Is that how they do it up there?" "Well, bravo." "I'm just a simple human." "I'm not perfect, like you." "But I've never snuck out like a thief." "Never." "Samuel, it's time." "Samuel, I'm counting till 20." "One, two, three." "Four, five, six." "Seven..." "Thirteen..." "Fourteen, fifteen..." "Eighteen, nineteen nineteen and a half..." "nineteen..." "Micheline, it's me." "I forgot my keys." "Open the door." "Micheline." "I want to talk to you." "I didn't sleep all night." "You're a real bitch." "If you keep acting like this I'll start to wonder if I shouldn't leave you with your nose balls." "Are these yours, sir?" "Yes." "Here you are." "Thank you." "Micheline?" "Micheline, but..." "Come on." "Excuse me, does a certain Mr Colombani live... work here?" "Yes, do you have an appointment?" "No, but I found this and it had his name in it." "Please sit down next to the pencil." "I'll inform the Director." "Mr Director?" "Linda speaking." "There's a man here who says he found your suitcase." "I think we should call security." "Alright." "Yes, immediately, sir." "Would you follow me?" "Yes." "Mr Director..." "Yes, leave and close the door." "You can check everything." "There's no sock missing." "Bravo, thanks." "Good." "Gerard Colombani." "How can I thank you?" "I only did my duty." "No, you could have kept it." "No, that's not like me." "Have a seat." "In a company, one sometimes has to transfer certain funds discretely." "So I'd like to thank you personally." "Thank you." "I won't offend you by offering you money." "No, what would I do with it?" "But if I can ever do anything for you." "Good evening." "Mr Samuel, I've already set the table." "It's beautiful." "Aren't the candles nice?" "I brought them myself." "Thanks." "Mr Samuel, we ran out of washing powder." "Shall I buy new?" "Yes, please do." "Till Friday then." "Yes, till Friday." "Till Friday." "Till Friday." "Patrick speaking." "I need to ask you for a small favour. 20,000 francs." "You'll get it back at the end of the month." "Can I count on you?" "Samuel, Sofie speaking." "I haven't heard from you for a while." "Will you call me?" "Kisses." "...he's not like that." "About that dinner, better not." "It's over between us." "If you can perform miracles, why don't you leave a message?" "You could." "After you." "Excuse me." "Can I offer you something?" "Have you got a cocktail with pineapple, banana and coconut milk?" "No." "Carrot juice?" "No, I only like cocktails with pineapple, banana and coconut milk." "Champagne?" "If that's all you have." "I don't want to be difficult." "Have a seat." "It's the first time I'm having dinner at a colleague's." "It's not my style." "Do you normally screw without eating first?" "No, for me work's private..." "Work's work and private's private." "I don't confuse the two." "I was only kidding." "Silly joke." "Please." "To your eternal beauty." "Thanks." "If they told me that I'd have dinner at your place when I saw you for the first time..." "But the first time you saw me, you didn't have a good look at me." "Yes, you were ugly and very unkempt." "Do you want me to be honest?" "Yes, be honest." "I still don't understand why he hired you." "You misunderstood." "You've only seen the tip of my iceberg." "But the tip matters too." "I mean, what's below the tip matters too." "Everything matters, really." "That's correct, but what I noticed most, were your hands." "You have beautiful hands." "You're not the first to say so." "I have a soft spot for hands." "Sometimes women are beautiful but when you see their hands, you're cured." "They're nervous wrecks who bite their nails." "My hair as well." "They say I have beautiful hair." "Yes, indeed, everything about you." "Everything." "The first time I saw you, I was blinded." "I had to close my eyes." "Or I would have had a guide dog for the rest of my life." "Charlyne." "Will we meet again after all?" "Did you think I was that slut?" "No." "Then why did you make her the same compliments you made me?" "You're jealous, aren't you?" "Me?" "Not at all." "You just shouldn't repeat our declarations of love." "But this isn't about love at all." "She just wants to make a promotion." "She's like a band-aid on a band-aid." "Then why do you pretend with her?" "I'm not pretending." "I'm doing my best." "But I miss you." "Do you think it's normal that I kiss that hanky 3 times a day?" "The lipstick has almost come off." "That's not normal, is it?" "Come, I'll show you something else." "Come, I'll show you." "Look, the bill of the hotel where we stayed." "At night, I look at it, I cry a bit and then I fall asleep." "Do you think that's normal?" "No." "We really have to meet again." "Samuel, I don't exist anymore." "But why do you always show up then?" "I'm not standing here, I'm there." "But I can see you and smell you." "Let me hold you." "If you want to hold a fantasy, go right ahead." "Charlyne." "Charlyne." "I haven't even been able to thank you for Colombani yet." "Thanks." "Cheers." "Cheers." "Enjoy." "Thank you." "Enjoy, both of you." "I prefer his company to my close relatives." "Leave the woman alone." "Do you find it shocking when I say that?" "No, I love animals." "I always used to have a turtle." "They feel it." "They have their instinct." "Yes, a dog's nothing but instinct with hair on it." "If you also bring up the weather, you'll make a great impression on her." "They say they're man's best friend." "It's true." "Yes, you can count on a dog." "Absolutely." "You have to walk it twice a day, so it doesn't piss on your carpet." "You're never alone when you have a dog." "You're never alone when you have a dog." "No, no." "See?" "Dogs are best friends of people who don't have any friends." "You'll have a bit of fun and then she'll start yapping again." "Drop her, Samuel." "Is something wrong?" "And all that for a quick screw." "Take matters in your own hands." "That saves time." "Admit it, there's no foreplay and if you go deaf, I'll just speak up." "Do you think it's funny, idiot?" "Claude." "Samuel." "Micheline." "Sorry, my hand went automatically." "How are you both?" "Good." "Are you free on the 27th?" "The twenty... yes." "Ok, then you're invited to our wedding party." "Alright." "The lady can come too." "Alright." "Are you ok?" "I'm ok." "I found work." "I'm doing well again." "I'm doing fine." "I'm fine." "I'm..." "It's alright." "I'm doing alright." "Go away." "Yes, and now to the right ear." "Kiss, kiss, kiss." "And then slowly to the left, yes." "And now very slowly down." "Hey." "Right." "Here I am, all turned on." "I'm turned on too." "I'm about to collapse." "It's the third time I'm here." "And the third time you stop halfway." "Are you impotent?" "Can you change into my janitor?" "That's the only thing that turns me on these days." "Never mind." "You don't understand." "You won't see me here again." "I'll have to live with that." "No, Charlyne, please." "I can't stand it anymore." "I'm going crazy." "It has to stop." "You have to leave me alone." "Good evening, Mr Bloemensteen." "Stop that nonsense." "I haven't thought about you anymore." "Go away." "Invisible." "Charlyne, it's your fault I may never have an erection again." "But my name's not Charlyne." "I'm Sandrine." "Sa..." "Sandrine." "I registered for an acting class and I tried my lines on you." "I can see it worked." "Yes, bravo." "Weren't you gone with your fiancé for six months?" "Yes, my ex-fiancé." "Ex..." "I see." "Sorry for last time." "I was a bit rude." "Ça va?" "Ça va, thank you, and you?" "Do you always dress like that when you take out the garbage?" "No, I was going to a costume ball, but something went wrong." "I see." "There was a leak upstairs and it came down here." "But it's been fixed." "You can't know." "You were gone." "Well, bye Mr Bloemensteen." "Call me Samuel." "Bye, Samuel." "Forget everything I said." "Great, those angels." "Great!" "I'm counting on you." "Good evening." "I thought, because something had come up, we could..." "Excuse me." "I'll be right back." "Why don't you come in?" "Hello." "Hello." "Are you the baby sitter?" "No, I'm the upstairs neighbour." "That's a pity." "We were going to a party, but the baby sitter didn't show up." "That's unfortunate." "I went to a lot of trouble to find this Pinocchio costume." "Look at my nose when I'm lying." "Look at my nose." "I'm Fred Flintstone." "Good, isn't it?" "Phenomenal." "Your friend told me about the baby sitter." "If you want, I can look after her." "Are you serious?" "It might get late." "I have nothing else to do." "I actually wanted to take you to the restaurant but we'll do that some other time." "That's very sweet of you." "You're really helping me out." "We'll go out for dinner some other time." "Bertha, this is Samuel." "Bertha's a beautiful name." "I'm glad you think so." "He's going to look after you tonight." "Will you be nice to him?" "I didn't know you had a child." "She's my sister's." "She's divorced." "She's a stewardess." "Ah, in an airplane." "Can I leave you alone for a moment?" "I'll make something to eat." "Let's jump." "Here, pinch your own nose." "No, you can't do that." "No, not that game again." "Go." "You're cheerful when you wake up." "Did you lose Pinocchio along the way?" "He ran off with Tom Thumb." "Did Bertha behave?" "Yes, but I don't think she liked the spinach very much." "I'm sorry." "I'll pay for the cleaner." "No, that doesn't matter." "It's too good to be true." "I don't know what you mean." "Me neither, but never mind." "I'll let you sleep now." "I look ridiculous, but it's not mine." "I can see that." "It's mine." "Where did you get that coat?" "It was stolen four months ago in a café." "Well, tell me." "Where did you get that coat?" "It didn't come falling out of the sky, did it?" "Walk." "Yes, walk to mummy." "Good." "In the playpen." "Mummy." "The toy." "Her bear." "We'll call grandma." "Hello, grandma." "Hello." "Wait, I'll take it." "Look, daddy found your bear." "And?" "Who was it?" "It was your mother." "The plastic Bambi has been stolen and she can't get into the holiday house."