"("March of the Toy Soldiers" from The Nutcracker plays)" "So..." "What did you think?" "Oh, I loved it." "Thank you, Daddy." "Logan?" "Uh, pass." "Come on." "It wasn't that bad." "Well, not the first eight times, no, but if I had known this was a Green holiday tradition," "I would have shot myself on our wedding night." "Oh, such a hopeless romantic." "(Logan chuckles)" "Ugh." "There's my ride." "Should we do this again next week?" "I'd rather lick a chalkboard." "(laughs) Yeah." "I bet you would." "(laughing)" "(sighs)" "(engine starts)" "DRIVER:" "Welcome, Captain." "Thank you." "Can I interest you in a charge?" "Or water for the ride?" "Uh, water's fine, thanks." "There you go." "I haven't seen The Nutcracker in years." "It still hold up?" "I don't know." "(laughing):" "I never watch the performance, just my little girl's face." "(chuckling) It still lights up" "(coughing):" "every time... (coughing):" "every time that..." "(coughing and choking)" "(gagging, choking)" "(gasping, choking)" "(gasping)" "(groaning)" "(grunts)" "(dog barking in distance)" "(birds tweeting)" "(air horn blares)" "What?" "!" "What on earth are you doing?" "Me?" "What are you doing, Dad?" "I was sleeping." "I noticed." "Still on Uncle Gibbs' couch for some reason." "You nearly scared me to death." "And Uncle Gibbs is probably upstairs loading his bazooka as we speak." "No." "I'm good." "Thanks for the warning." "I thought you weren't back from school till tomorrow." "My boyfriend got off work a day early, but no way am I introducing him to you while you're living on a couch." "I'm not living." "I am... recuperating." "Okay, well, you can recuperate at home where I can make sure you do the exercises Gibbs says you're not doing." "Really?" "That's what he says?" "Fine." "I'll do my exercises." "Hey, Gibbs." "You got to come over and push down on my pelvis." "I'm gonna pass on that." "See?" "See what I'm up against?" "How can I do my exercises if...?" "Did you say boyfriend?" "I heard boyfriend, did you hear boyfriend?" "No." "Yes, you heard boyfriend." "His name is Jack, and he's studying to be an entomologist." "Ento..." "Bugs." "I know what an entomologist is." "This is your fault." "You enabled him." "Me?" "You are not old enough (phone rings) to have a boyfriend." "(scoffs)" "Yeah, it's Gibbs." "And how old do you need to be?" "A year older than you are, and every year it goes up by one." "GIBBS:" "Yeah." "I'll meet you there." "Where do you think you're going?" "Got a dead body." "You're gonna have another one in your living room in a minute." "(dog barking in distance)" "(door closes)" "(camera shutter clicking)" "McGEE:" "Looks like Captain Green's a fan of The Nutcracker." "Any witnesses?" "Metro said that a witness saw him get into a rideshare car after the show." "Then five blocks away, here he lay dead in the dirt." "(camera shutter clicks)" "Must've been one hell of a ride." "No signs of foul play." "There sure is foul smells." "Is this a dirt lot or a community toilet?" "(siren chirps)" "What's with the wardrobe change?" "You know how hard it is to get the smell of urine out of suede?" "And that's something you're familiar with?" "JIMMY:" "What did happen to this man?" "That's a good question." "He's got a ton of money left in his wallet, so it can't be robbery." "We need to find out where he was headed and how he got here." "Maybe Reston." "Reston?" "(chuckling):" "I used to live in Reston on a beautiful tree-lined street on..." "McCadden Place." "Yes. 1-0... 7-3-5?" "What is a dead man doing with your address in his pocket, Dr. Mallard?" "I'm not sure I want to know the answer to that." "McGEE:" "Captain Mason Green." "Served three back-to-back tours as an advisor in Iraq." "Wife is deceased, has one grown daughter." "GIBBS:" "Do we know who picked him up from the theater, yet?" "Still haven't found his cell phone, which would indicate the rideshare app he was using;" "Abby's on it, though." "Talk to the C.G.?" "Yeah, and, uh, that's where it gets interesting." "Green was under internal investigation." "Suspected of selling classified info." "To who?" "I.G. thinks it's someone overseas." "If Green's buyer knew he was under investigation, he might have gotten nervous and then took Green out." "Does I.G. have a lead on the buyer?" "They're sending the file over now." "In the meantime, all we have is this:" "Ducky's old address, which was in our dead guy's pocket." "Ducky lived there with his mother years ago." "Sold it when she died." "Six years ago." "I mean, maybe it's a coincidence." "Oh." "Oh, no." "No." "Rule 69:" "No coincidences." "No, actually number 69 is never trust a woman who doesn't trust their man." "Huh?" "Wait, what?" "Really?" "That... sounds a little misogynistic, don't you think?" "Huh?" "I mean, do you have a rule that says "Never trust a man who doesn't trust his woman"?" "Think about it." "Huh?" "No?" "Think about it." "Rule 51." "Sometimes you're wrong." "Agent Torres is, uh, down with Ducky." "They're trying to see if they can figure out a connection to Captain Green." "Take Bishop with you;" "talk to the current owners." "Maybe Green was looking for them, not Ducky." "That Ducky was just a coincidence." "Was he mocking me?" "You know, I'm not sure." "I've never seen Gibbs mock anyone before." "I'm sorry." "I simply do not recognize this man." "Nor is his name remotely familiar." "Do you have any files you can check or anything?" "I can assure you, my memory is not at fault." "Check anyway." "But I'll check anyway." "GIBBS:" "What have you got?" "JIMMY:" "Abby found traces of conotoxin in his blood." "It's a fast-acting poison;" "presumably the cause of death." "DUCKY:" "Which we will check on autopsy, of course." "Hey, you mind waiting until I leave before you open this guy up?" "What?" "I-I wouldn't have pegged you as the squeamish type." "No." "I actually like the sight of blood." "It's just smell." "You know, first the alley, now this place... ugh." "Here's a silly question." "Do you guys, uh, you expense the dry-cleaning, right?" "Oh, yeah." "I do." "Is that not okay?" "As I suspected, yeah, there are no records of a Captain Green in my files." "I heard you travel a lot." "Maybe you met him on one of your trips?" "Where has the captain been besides Iraq, that is?" "According to ICE, the only other place he's been is Majorca." "Majorca..." "Doc?" "I am guessing the doctor has a story." "Well, oddly enough," "Majorca is one place I haven't been." "Although I-I do still have a story." "Quick!" "Hurry!" "Gosh, it's monkeys out there." "Told you we should have taxied over after the film." "What?" "And miss the best part about getting cold?" "(laughing):" "What's that?" "Getting warm." "Why don't we start with a hot toddy, Dr. Mallard?" "Take it from there." "I can work with that." "WOMAN:" "Your flat's really quite lovely." "Not bad on a soldier's salary." "You working for pin money on the side?" "Actually, I wasn't entirely honest." "This isn't my home, it belongs to my..." "Oh, my God!" "Mother!" "What are you doing here?" "I might ask you the same thing." "Raiding the liquor cabinet." "You're supposed to be in Majorca." "I got back early." "Who's the tramp?" "Mother." "Hello." "My name is..." "Tramp will do nicely until proven otherwise." "And so far, you're not off to a very good start." "Mother." "We were simply stopping by..." "(man sneezing)" "What was that?" "What?" "I didn't hear anything." "And it's getting late, so if you don't mind," "I'd like to get ready to..." "(gasps)" "Ah." "Hello, young man." "I'm afraid you've caught me at quite a disadvantage." "Who the bloody hell are you?" "Uh, Balthazar Kilmeany." "Pleasure to make your acquaintance." "We met at the resort in Majorca at a bagpipe class." "Your mother's got quite a set of lungs on her." "Right." "I will throw up on you." "Donald!" "Mind your manners." "Me?" "!" "You called my date a tramp." "Twice." "With a naked man in your wardrobe." "Uh, perhaps I ought to go." "I have an important board meeting quite early." "Put a sock in it." "You're not going anywhere." "They are." "I'm not going anywhere until you tell me exactly what's going on." "What's going on is... we're in love." "Well, aren't you going to say anything?" "Yes." "That's my hat." "Care to share?" "Excuse me?" "Said you had a story." "Oh, it's-it's not particularly... relevant." "And I just had breakfast." "All right." "Thanks, B. That was Bishop." "The victim's daughter is here." "Conference room." "Come on, Duck." "HALEY:" "I don't understand." "If it wasn't a robbery, who killed my father?" "Trying to figure that out." "This mean anything to you?" "HALEY:" "No." "What is it?" "My old address." "Did you know my father-in-law?" "Not that I'm aware." "Do I look familiar to you?" "GIBBS:" "Your father mention having any trouble at work?" "Why?" "Was he in trouble at work?" "Your father was being investigated for selling classified secrets." "Uh-uh." "No, no." "Not-not my dad." "Has he been behaving strangely of late?" "Not at all." "Actually..." "Last week he was asking some weird questions." "Connections I might have overseas." "I didn't really think anything of it at the time, but... whatever it was about, if you knew her dad, there is no way these accusations are true." "Gibbs." "Need a second." "We just got back from Ducky's old house." "You talk to the owners?" "No." "Gardener said they've been out of town over a month." "But he did say Captain Green had been there three days ago." "Did he say why?" "Green was looking for somebody." "He went to the house looking for me." "Well, he was looking for a Mallard." "I knew it." "BISHOP:" "But not you." "He was looking for a Victoria Mallard." "Mother?" "If you need to take a break, let me know." "Oh, have we started?" "I couldn't tell if you were trying or not." "Oh, I didn't want to beat you too quickly." "You seemed, uh..." "You know, and everyone's talking about it... kind of fragile." "Me, fragile?" "You're the one sweating." "And I'm busy." "So please finish comparing testosterone levels on your own time." "To be continued." "I called you in here because I just spoke with SecDef." "It appears Captain Green's work was more sensitive than the inspector general knew." "If Green's really been compromised, DOD needs to know who is buying his stolen Intel A.S.A.P." "I.G. suspected it was someone overseas." "Reeves?" "I pulled a favor with some mates of mine at Interpol, and they found a bank account in Captain Green's name in the Crimea." "Crimea." "That means the Russians." "There's been several large deposits made over the last month." "Did you trace them?" "I've been going through the paperwork." "But so far, no luck." "McGee's, uh, trying the gardener again to see if he knows anything." "All right, dismissed." "You can go crush beer cans against your foreheads or whatever you're planning next." "Gibbs, did I read your report correctly, that Captain Green was looking for Dr. Mallard's mother?" "Yep." "The doctor have any idea why?" "Nope." "How's he taking it?" "I mean, I wouldn't be very happy knowing that my mother might somehow be connected to international treason." "You never met Ducky's mother?" "No, never had the chance." "This doesn't really rank." "(door opens)" "So, Ducky lived here with his mother?" "For how long?" "Until she died." "Hey!" "Careful!" "You're walking on my winter mulch!" "Sorry about that, Mr. Rin." "Agent McGee." "We spoke briefly." "Yeah, hi." "QUINN:" "We have just a few follow-up questions." "Oh, I bet." "Donnie must have been surprised to hear that his dearly departed mom had a visitor." "Uh, you know Dr. Mallard?" "Yeah, I worked for him when he lived here." "He's a wonderful man." "When Donnie decided to sell, the new owners insisted that I stay." "So you, uh, knew his mother, too?" "Oh, yeah." "Now, you said you saw this man three days ago." "Correct?" "Yeah, he asked about Victoria, and I told him she passed away." "Then he got in his friend's car and then left." "He had a friend with him?" "You catch his name?" "No, he stayed in the car." "And I didn't get a good look at him." "What about the car..." "The make or the model?" "Um, I think it was red." "Ish." "Possibly green." "Mr. Rin, are you colorblind?" "Yeah." "How'd you know?" "Well, maybe we can get some witnesses or..." "Ooh." "You know what, actually, we may not need to." "That is an XJ-47 doorbell camera." "Brand-new." "You approach and it sends video straight to the cloud." "That is so cool, huh?" "No, not really." "Oh, yeah." "Nice." "Oh, look at this." "This thing is cool." "Seriously, admit it." "This is cool." "Look, I don't want to judge you, but if you push me, I will." "McGee, back it up." "(beep)" "(rewinding)" "GIBBS:" "Freeze it." "Right there." "(beep)" "(beep)" "That's the car." "No plates." "DUCKY:" "Who's that in the car?" "Captain Green was accused of selling classified data." "Maybe that's his buyer?" "Or the killer." "Or both." "You, uh, recognize him, Ducky?" "No." "McGee, BOLO on the car." "Yeah." "Better make that two." "I was going through the footage, and this happened." "Wait for it." "And... (engine starts)" "(revving)" "That looked very suspicious." "Like she said, two bolos." "I have a lot more to say." "Ducky, I need those tissue samples." "File in." "To the Bat Lab!" "Oh, hey." "Look who it is." "Emily, how are you?" "Give me a second, Abbs." "You and I need to talk." "I'm a little busy." "Why haven't you kicked my dad out of your house?" "It's not for lack of effort." "This has gone on way too long." "You don't think" "I know that?" "So do something." "I want to have Christmas dinner with my father." "At home." "I've tried." "I have." "I've tried." "I don't know what the problem is." "So can I have your permission to take matters into my own hands?" "To do whatever I need to do?" "Yes." "Don't burn down my house." "Fine." "Plan B then." "Women, Ducky." "My mother would have never let it get this far." "Yes, Diane was a formidable woman." "When she made up her mind, nothing would stop her." "(chuckles softly)" "Not unlike my mother." "I'm not sure I see the problem, Donnie." "Mother and Balthazar are engaged." "Well, congratulations." "I think that's enough on the ornaments." "I'm not paying you on commission." "It's only been six weeks." "Please tell me you're not developing some sort of weird Oedipal thing about your mother." "Ugh." "Don't be a twonk." "Me?" "You're the one that's going barmy." "Your mother's in love." "What's the big deal?" "(piano playing "Deck the Halls")" "(clears throat)" "Your father hated when you did that." "Well, he shouldn't have died and left this fine establishment to me then." "Besides, this is for you." "Clearly on some kind of sticky wicket." "So do tell." "What's the problem?" "The problem is Mother hardly knows this man." "And there's something off about him" "I can't quite put my finger on." "I'm just worried that he's... taking advantage of her in some way." "What do you want me to do about it?" "Check him out." "(scoffs) You know people," "Angus." "Find out who he is, where he comes from." "Please." "All right." "I can see you're upside-down about this." "I'll do what I can." "Got something for me?" "I do." "It's POW!" "Nog." "It's-it's eggnog meets Caf-POW!" "And it's my first batch of the season." "Something about the case." "I can stand here all day." "("Joy to the World" playing)" "Mm-hmm." "You have a little, um..." "Never mind." "Moving on." "So, I examined Captain Green's computer." "He had an account with a ridesharing service called homestretch." "But they have no record of a pickup request the night of the murder." "Well, someone picked him up." "Yeah, it looks like his account was infected with a worm that intercepted the request and then sent it to a third party." "Probably the killer." "Can you trace it?" "I didn't trace that." "But I did trace something else just as interesting." "Take a look." "Captain Green made a cell phone call right when he left Ducky's house." "To who?" "To whom, Jethro." "Oh, good." "My tissue samples." "Fridge, please." "Whatever." "To whom?" "Captain Green called a cell phone registered to a..." "Balthazar Kilmeany." "(clattering)" "What did you say?" "Balthazar Kilmeany." "Yeah." "You know him?" "Yes." "He was my mother's fiancé." "Have you found out anything more about this Balthazar?" "No." "Cell was registered to a post office box." "We're still looking." "We were hoping you might be able to shed a little light before I had to brief SecDef." "You did know the man, after all." "No, I-I don't think I did." "This Balthazar Kilmeany simply cannot possibly be the man I knew." "He would be over 100 years old." "Duck, got to ask." "Okay." "My mother... met a man in Majorca." "They fell madly in love." "Became engaged." "I didn't trust the man, and so I..." "I had a friend run a background check." "And I gather that your fears were justified?" "And then some." "BALTHAZAR:" "So the Scotsman replies very quickly," ""I'd like to be shot first."" "(Victoria laughs)" "Oh, my..." "Tell another one, Balthy." "Oh, please." "(clears throat) Actually, Ms. Mallard," "I was, um, hoping to get your opinion on this new bourbon bar we're opening." "Oh." "It's a little early for a tipple." "But since you've twisted my arm." "Ah!" "(piano playing "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen")" "(chuckles)" "Your mother..." "She does love her bourbon." "Matter of fact, we were planning, for the wedding..." "There isn't going to be a wedding." "Oh, come, Donald, I..." "I know things are moving rather quickly, and probably caught you a bit off-guard." "Let me be plain as a pikestaff." "You are never going to marry my mother." "This isn't some kind of weird Oedipal thing, is it?" "Contrary to popular opinion," "I'm actually very happy my mother has fallen in love." "Just not with a con man such as yourself." "I did some checking." "Balthazar Kilmeany isn't your real name." "It's an alias." "Well, now, my mother will be quite surprised to hear that." "So will mine." "Seems you have a history of hanging out in ritzy resort areas like Majorca, bilking rich, older women out of their money." "Donald, I can explain." "No, I doubt that very much." "This isn't what you think." "Right." "And who am I to believe, you or my lying eyes?" "Believe your eyes." "You're right." "It's all true." "I have done all those things." "But... this time it's... it's different." "Yes, when I first met your mother," "I..." "I planned to steal from her, but... but then something wonderful happened." "I fell in love." "For the first time in my life." "I could never hurt Victoria." "She's my soul mate." "And I know she feels the same way." "Listen to me carefully." "You are to depart England immediately." "Tell my mother you have to leave on business or tend to a sick family member." "Tell her whatever you like." "But if you're not gone by tomorrow, this file is going straight to Scotland Yard." "And you are going straight to Wandsworth Prison, got it?" "That is a hell of a story, Jethro." "But I'm not surprised." "All Ducky stories are good." "Mallet." "But what if he's wrong?" "What if this new Balthazar is the same guy that was schtupping his mother, back for revenge?" "At 109?" "Some guys can hold a grudge." "Or maybe his son, with the same name." "Either way, how does he fit into the case?" "Working on it." "And who the hell is this guy?" "Okay." "Fine." "I got something else for you to do." "Emily came by today." "I met her new boyfriend." "Nice kid." "Nice looking." "Just all-around... nice." "But..." "I need you to process this for prints." "I need my own background check." "I could do it myself, but" "I'm not back with the Bureau, so I can't access their lab." "Oh, come on." "It's against the law, Tobias." "I'm not asking you to break the law." "I am asking you to stretch it a little." "Look what happened to Ducky's mother." "You can't be too careful when you're..." "What?" "What is that?" "That's a termite." "Who are you calling?" "My cousin." "He's an exterminator." "Got to nip this in the bud." "You let this go too far, he might tent the whole house." "And there goes my microfiber couch." "That guy Emily's dating..." "What'd you say he was studying?" "Yeah, Mikey, it's Tobias." "I got an Alpha Priority emergency here." "Can you hold?" "(phone rings)" "Yes, I can hold." "Yeah, it's Gibbs." "(McGee speaking indistinctly)" "Uh, where?" "Yeah, okay, I'll meet you there." "Where you going?" "No word back on the gardener BOLO yet, but Metro PD found the guy who drove Captain Green to Ducky's old house in Rock Creek Park after a couple complained about him following him." "Okay." "So who is he?" "Well... refused to say." "Didn't have ID, but Metro's running his prints now." "BISHOP:" "So tell us why you were in the park." "I was simply enjoying the day." "That a crime?" "No." "But murder is." "I say he knows our captain." "What happened?" "What happened was," "Captain Green was selling government data." "And we think you were buying it." "Excuse me?" "When the feds started closing in, you took Green out." "Are you out of your minds?" "Oh, said the man who was picked up for stalking at, uh, Rock Creek Park an hour ago." "I wasn't stalking anybody." "I was doing my job." "What job?" "Yes, I was tailing the guy in the park." "I'm a private investigator and I was hired by his wife to follow him." "And Captain Green?" "He hired me two weeks ago." " For what?" " To find out anything I could about the name Balthazar Kilmeany." "And?" "All I could find was an ad taken out in the personals from six years ago." "Some lady named Victoria Mallard took it out." "I guess she's looking for this Balthazar guy, too." "We went to her house, heard she had died years ago." "It was a dead end." "I don't know why Green was looking for this guy." "And I suppose you don't know anything about Captain Green's murder, either?" "No." "But, as it turns out," "I think I might be able to help you." "How?" "Green gave me a hard drive to hold." "For safekeeping." "He called it an insurance policy in case anything ever happened to him." "I'd say something's happened to him." "All right, McGee and Abby are analyzing the drive now." "But I got a copy of the ad that Ducky's mother took out." "Personal ad, local newspaper." "Just reads like a lonely old lady looking for her long-lost love." "No offense." "None taken." "Apparently that's exactly what my mother was." "You knew about this?" "No." "In fact," "I'm shocked that she had the wherewithal to place it, considering the progression of her Alzheimer's." "I can only surmise she was thinking of happier times and trying to recapture them." "Which meant trying to find her old fiancé." "TORRES:" "I get that, but why the hell was Captain Green looking for this guy?" "Whatever the reason, he was never going to find him." "I just spoke to Interpol." "Turns out the name Balthazar Kilmeany been popping up all over the world..." "Bank accounts, property deeds, but nothing tied down to an actual person." "TORRES:" "It's a fake identity." "I've backstopped about 15 of these." "Well, my contact believes this one was specifically created to launder money." "Created by who?" "REEVES:" "Unknown." "Looks like half a dozen people used this over the years." "Your mother's fiancé was one of a list of con men who used the same alias." "Well, perhaps Captain Green was using it to launder the money that he made from selling classified data." "Well, there's a funny thing about that." "I just finished analyzing" "Green's hard drive." "Captain Green didn't steal any classified data." "Then why's he dead?" "The insurance policy that Green gave the P.I. to hold onto contained internal DOD security footage." "BISHOP:" "They clearly show he was nowhere near a computer during the time when classified data was stolen." "McGEE:" "He was set up." "By who?" "Someone that got ahold of his password, logged in remotely." "Even the Crimean bank account..." "It's a setup." "It's in Green's name, but he didn't open it." "Person that opened the account is named..." "Balthazar Kilmeany." "Green knew all this?" "McGEE:" "It's all on the hard drive." "So why didn't he go to the police?" "I mean, why go after this guy himself?" "Why are you asking me?" "Go find out." "On it." "And find that gardener." "He ran for a reason." "He knows something." "I'll check the BOLO." "Gibbs." "What?" "Aw." "You got to be kidding me." "This is the worst possible time." "No, you know what?" "I'm all right." "Never mind." "It's good." "Thank you." "Uh, we get a break in the case?" "(laughs)" "Exterminator." "My house has to be tented." "Termites." "(laughs)" "(elevator bell dings)" "Hey, Ducky." "Got a sec?" "Abby dug up the old paperwork from your mom's ad." "And I thought you might like a copy?" "Thank you." "And, um, the local LEOs found your old gardener." "Torres is bringing him in now." "Again, my thanks." "Ducky, is there anything you want to talk about?" "No." "I've... talked enough." "(sniffles)" "You made the right decision." "Did I?" "Yes." "Mother's fiancé was bent as a two-headed penny." "A con man, a thief." "Even thieves fall in love." "Oh, rubbish." "Making him leave was the right call." "And, might I add, so is whatever you're doing with your skin." "You look fantastic." "I'm not really complimenting myself, am I?" "Oh, just take it." "Look, that man would have broken Mother's heart." "It's as simple as that." "We don't know that." "And if you had told her the truth, she would've been mortified that she fell in love with a sod like that." "It wasn't our decision to make." "But we made it." "Why argue the toss now?" "Because she was in love with him!" "And apparently she never let him go!" "I took away her one and only chance of finding true love." "And she ended up alone the rest of her life." "So have you." "Which is why I understand exactly what I took from her." "And it's something with which I just simply cannot make peace." "(clock chiming, playing tune)" "Something's happened to Balthazar, I just know it has!" "Mother, please calm down." "No." "A week ago, we were planning a trip to Kenya to swim with hippos, and now he's gone." "Really?" "Yes." "He-he left a note for me." "Said he had to leave town on business, but would check in with me every day." "Well, how long has it been since you heard from him?" "Two weeks!" "Perhaps he just needed a break." "Things were moving rather quickly." "That's what happens when you meet your soul mate." "Soul mate?" "Mother, you'd only just met him." "Don't you patronize me, Donald Horatio Mallard!" "I've been around the block." "I know what love is." "Or thought I did..." "until I met Balthazar." "For the first time in my life," "I was truly happy." "And I know he was, too." "And now he's gone." "(crying):" "I don't know what happened." "(crying)" "Oh, what am I gonna do?" "Mother, I have something to tell you." "As you know, I've volunteered to serve at the Jalozai" "Refugee Camp at the border of Pakistan." "Oh, yes, I know." "And your timing is dreadful, as usual." "But when my tour is up, I planned on moving to America." "Oh, doesn't that just take the cake!" "And I'd like you to come with me." "To America?" "Where they mix bacon with syrup?" "Have you lost your mind?" "!" "Come with me, Mother." "You're a good boy, Donnie." "You always were." "But I don't know anyone in America." "I'm not getting any younger." "I don't have the energy to move to a new country." "And besides, where would I live?" "With me." "You're welcome to stay with me as long as you need to get settled." "(computer beeps, trills)" "(computer beeps)" "Tell us where you went after that." "McGEE:" "Found this on the App Store." "Mr. Rin's Garden School." "What did I miss?" "Well, your former gardener's about to wet himself." "McGEE:" "Did you code that yourself?" "They don't think he's involved in all this, do they?" "RIN:" "I've taken a few courses online." "Oh, he's hiding something." "And we're running out of suspects." "McGEE:" "Must have been one hell of a class." "They teach you how to steal passwords..." "Balthazar?" "We know that you used Captain Green's password to steal classified data." "Fake the identity, launder the cash." "When Captain Green caught on, you had him killed." "I have no idea what you're talking about!" "Getting anything wrong, just correct us." "I can't." "I promised." "Who?" "What'd you promise?" "Donald can never, ever know!" "Know what?" "!" "That his mother and I were lovers." "Did he just say what I think he said?" "Yes, he did." "Go on." "We became an item in the '90s." "But Bubbles made me swear to never, ever say anything to Donnie." "Bubbles?" "I was 25 years her junior and not English, and for Victoria, that was scandalous." "If you and Ducky's mother were such a hot item, why did she take out an ad in the paper looking for an old fiancé?" "She didn't." "I did." "In her delirium at the end, she thought she saw Balthazar in the street." "So she asked me to place an ad to find him." "I didn't feel slighted." "(sighs) She wasn't well." "And I would have done anything for her." "Look, you don't have to believe me." "She wrote it all down in her diary, and she gave it to me when she got sick." "And that's where I was going after your agents came to see me." "All of their questions about Balthazar just made me nervous." "So then I went home to make sure that the diary was still hidden." "Mm-hmm." "Where?" "In the garage." "No." "Where did Ducky's mother think she saw Balthazar?" "Well, at the theater." "Why?" "(distant horn honking)" "Well, that was really awesome." "Please." "You hated it." "But... thank you for not complaining." "I know it's not the same without your dad." "Just..." "I can't believe he's gone." "GIBBS:" "You might not ever." "I still wake up every morning, and I think the same thing about my dad." "Hello, Agent Gibbs." "Do you have news about my father's case?" "Yeah." "Yeah." "Unfortunately, I do." "So Logan was the nephew of the man my mother knew as Balthazar Kilmeany?" "Her last Christmas, she thought she saw her fiancé at the theater." "Oh." "Well, there's a resemblance." "(chuckles) My mother did love The Nutcracker." "BISHOP:" "He apparently came from a family of con men." "The Balthazar identity was like a family heirloom passed down to anyone who needed it." "And Logan was the next in line." "Claims his marriage to Green's daughter was real." "But when he saw an opportunity to make some money, he just... couldn't say no." "And he started selling classified data to this man." "GIBBS:" "Captain Green suspected." "He tried to handle it himself." "The buyer got nervous when he saw Green poking around, so he posed as his driver at the theater and killed him." "Interpol just picked him up on his way to Moscow." "Logan claims he had no idea his father-in-law was in danger, um, and we think he's telling the truth." "It's a tragedy indeed, but one with a silver lining." "I've been reading this." "My mother's diary." "Mr. Rin makes quite an appearance." "Yikes." "Yes, I've been bleeding from my eyeballs all morning. (chuckles softly)" "However, the good news is, I learned something wonderful." "It appears my mother was having a romance with Mr. Rin." "And to think I was worried that I had..." "Well, suffice to say, knowing that my mother spent the last years of her life, well, head-over-heels in love is the best Christmas present" "I could possibly have." "BISHOP:" "Well, actually, we have one more." "Hmm?" "(elevator doors open)" "Hello, Donald." "Mr. Rin!" "(laughter)" "Please, call me Takumi." "(laughs)" "Uh-oh." "Sorry." "We didn't want to miss the reunion." "Well, come on in." "It's only just started." "(singsongy):" "And we brought presents!" "Happy Christmas Eve!" "Cookies." "Wow!" "* *" "BISHOP:" "Thank you." "(indistinct chatter)" "Duck." "Duck." "ALL:" "Ducky!" "* We wish you a merry Christmas... *" "I thought maybe after dinner we could open some gifts." "Uh-huh." "And watch Rudolph." "Mmm." "(sighs)" "Jack should be here soon." "You mean the entomologist?" "Don't play dumb." "I know what he helped you do." "What did we do?" "Bugged Gibbs' house, and pulled me out of summer camp before the session was over." "Summer camp?" "Yeah." "When does a guy ever get to hang with a guy friend like that?" "Beer, late-night movies..." "Braiding each other's hair." "Dad, you're a grown man." "Camp is over." "Because you short-sheeted the bed." "I wanted you at home for Christmas." "I missed you." "I know." "I missed you, too." "(sighs)" "Truth be told, I sort of got my fill of Gibbs." "He's a horrible conversationalist." "(laughs) And there are only so many fireplace steaks and canned beans you can eat before... (doorbell rings)" "Oh." "Good." "There's the entomologist." "Be nice." "Of course." "I really need to thank him." "He was actually the person who saved me from Leroy Jethro..." "Gibbs!" "What the hell are you doing here?" "Termites."