"(ALL GASPING)" "Oh, Mama." "She's almost as beautiful as you." "But see, she comes to us only in her underclothes." " We must attend to her wardrobe." " Are we to take her to Ladieswear, then?" "What a splendid notion." "She deserves nothing but the best." "And I am confident that, despite Miss Audrey's departure, her department will remain the jewel in the crown." "Do you not think, Denise?" "Yes, ma'am." "I hope so." "You are quite the anomaly, Clara." "You do not gasp in wonder with the rest of your sex." "Well, it would take more than a toy to make me gasp, sir." " Was ever a child so adored?" " Was ever a child so spoiled?" "An entire wardrobe in miniature ordered from ladieswear?" "What a farce." "You might want to revise that opinion if you're to apply for Miss Audrey's post, seeing as Flora's parents own the store." "Who said I was applying for anything?" "Walter, in the bays." "He was offering odds." "Six-to-1 for you, 4-to-1 on Denise." " They're betting on us?" " I was scandalised when I heard." "Who cares about that?" "What I want to know is what about the works outing?" "We missed it last year when Mr Moray was away, so it stands to reason we're due a double helping of pleasure this year." "How do you even do that?" "It's like you were born sweating smut." "Hey, I heard it was the waxworks one year." "Oh, I'd die to see the waxworks." "They could put 10 guinea behind the bar at The Three Crowns and I'd be happy." "As it so happens, I believe I have a notion of Moray's plans." "Oh, the music hall!" "Last year, the staff had to forego their outing." "This year, we shall make it up to them." "If you're sure the music hall is the right choice." "One week only, Dudley." "We'd be fools to miss it." "I mean, this hall does tend towards the improper." "Dudley, the staff are daily served food by a woman who cannot put a pudding on a plate without innuendo." "After life with Myrtle, I doubt any of us have sensibilities left to offend." "You'd never have dared suggesting it if Miss Audrey was still with us." "But she's not, Dudley." "She's not." "Close early for a staff outing?" "Out of the question." "With profits so low, I'm surprised you even think to suggest it." "With respect, profits are rising." "And the annual outing is not a mere indulgence." "Every member of our staff is an asset." "And it's taken time and care to train them, to teach them." "If they leave us, we lose not just a colleague but the investment we've made in them." "We cannot compete with the wages offered by industry, so we must work in other ways to make ourselves the employer of choice." ""Must"?" " Well, this is something we've always..." "Oh, God's blood, man." "You bandy about that "we" as if you were royalty." "There is no "we"." "There is only myself and my wife and you, our employee." "And the music hall, Moray, it is fearfully vulgar, you know." "How goes the search for a new head of ladieswear?" "Several applications have already been submitted." "Oh, must the process be so formal?" "Can't we simply appoint one of the girls already in the department?" " Clara, for example." " Really, darling, we can't simply promote every female that catches your eye." "The entire store would be run by pert brunettes." "And one might imagine that fingers so recently burnt would still be smarting." "Besides, if anyone has proved themselves deserving of the advancement, surely it is Denise." "DUDLEY:" "As we have advertised the post, we must follow protocol." "May I suggest the first interviews at the end of the week?" "By all means." "Let due process be observed." "And may the best man win." "Gentlemen." "I have the disquieting sensation I'm caught up in a war, the causes and objectives of which I can only guess at." "I believe, Dudley, that is the definition of cannon fodder." "I'm sorry, madam, only members of staff are allowed to adjust the displays." "But if there's anything I can help you with?" "Quick, go after her." "See if she picks up an application form from the office." " Clara..." " Oh, don't." "I know what you're going to say." ""Better one of us, never mind which, than someone like her."" "Well, I'm afraid if it came to a choice between you and some crone with a bad smell under her nose and a mouth pursed up like a cat's arse," "I'd still pick her." "Because the truth is I cannot bear to have you chosen over me again." "And if you believe you'd feel differently, you don't even begin to know yourself." "Denise, I have just seen the jay in the street, flying towards the river." "I'll take my break now while it's quiet." "Since when did Denise care for birds?" "Oh, don't perjure yourself." "Was there ever anything as insufferable as true love?" "Denise." "Sometimes I think when I'm dead, this will be heaven." "Me walking toward this bridge and you standing here, waiting." "You have a maudlin cast of mind." "I've often noted it." "And what else have you noted?" "That you've not yet submitted an application for head of ladieswear." "I have not yet had time." "Don't." "There is trouble between Katherine and her husband." "He favours Clara for the position because he favours Clara." "Katherine champions you." "You're both pawns in their game." "That is not a safe thing to be." "Will you be talking to Clara?" " Will you tell her not to apply?" " I do not love Clara." "Denise, you said so yourself, we must tread carefully." "All of our efforts must go to winning back The Paradise." "If Miss Audrey had not left, if..." "Things might have been different." "But now that she has, I cannot quiet this hunger that's awoken in me." "I have such a passion, john." "I burn to take this position." "The thought that I must stand aside, not even try..." "Have you never longed for something so desperately you could think of nothing else?" "Yes." "You." "Sweetheart, is it really so hard to wait when in a year, maybe months," "The Paradise will be ours?" "Not just ladieswear, everything." "Call me that name again." "It will keep me steady." "Sweetheart." "Sweetheart." "Sweetheart." "You have come all the way from Paris, so I must teach you English." "In that case, you must improve your own." "The doll has not come, but been brought." "Yes, Papa." " Where is Paris, Flora?" " In France." " And where is France?" " Across the sea." "Which sea?" "The..." " Atlantic." " You confuse France with America." "Perhaps it's understandable, all those revolutions." "Who discovered America?" " Christopher Columbus." "When?" " A long time ago." " Oh, yes, I should think it was." "A very long time ago." "A fearfully long time ago." "1066?" " Well, heavens, how can anyone be expected to remember anything when you look at them so?" "I'm sure if your papa had been so fierce with me at the altar," "I should have forgotten my own name." " Goodnight, my darling." " Goodnight, Mama." "Goodnight, Father." "Her ignorance is deplorable." "It is late." "She is tired." "And you are so stern." "Is it your back?" "Does it trouble you?" "I could send the servants away, wait upon you myself." "It is not my wounds that gall me, Katherine." "Today, in The Paradise, how dare you speak to me as you did?" "I?" "I have offended?" "KATHERINE:" "We had an agreement." "Lock horns with Moray if you must, but you will not seek to crush him and you will not flaunt your indiscretions for the world to see." "You imagine me your puppet?" "You think I don't see how you scheme and manoeuvre?" "How your eyes never leave one person?" " I have told you he is nothing to me." " It is not Moray your eyes follow." "It is Denise." "And it is not love that draws you on but something noxious." "You wish to punish her." "Why?" "Because he chose her over you." "Oh, you watch her as a cat watches a bird, hoping that circumstance will present you with an opportunity to pounce." "And in the meantime, you work for her advancement." "Because the higher she is raised, the further she will have to fall." "You are ridiculous." "Whatever your purpose in promoting Denise's interests, I promise you, if you ever again seek to humiliate me before other men..." "Oh, believe me, I make no effort in that front." "You do the job so thoroughly yourself." "I am sorry." "I am tired." "I've been thinking about Flora." "Her ignorance appals me." "I intend to engage a governess." "The attic will be converted to a schoolroom." "An end to idleness and indulgence, to shopping" "and dolls." "No outing?" "No outing?" "Only that Mr Weston feels that in the current climate..." "Current climate be buggered." "How often does he think I get to savour a treat like that?" "One sole and solitary day a year to take my place in the world and enjoy my leisure like a lady." "I have a tippytoes to wear." "What was it to have been, Mr Dudley?" "Was it the music hall?" "Was it?" "I cannot say." "Moray would have took us to the music hall, and that miserable bugger has forbade him." "I swear, I will make him pay for this." "I will cut out his heart and serve it up on a platter." "Remind me to start taking my meals at The Three Crowns." "Denise, I've been thinking." "About your application for Miss Audrey's job..." " Sam." " Now, it strikes me that the one thing" "that she had that you do not..." " Sam." "...is a motto." " Sam!" "I've decided not to apply." " Not to apply?" "If anyone was born to fill Miss Audrey's shoes, it is you." "You, of course, have it with Walter's odds." "I'll have to move Myrtle from 50040-1 to 499." "500?" "500 to bloody one?" "You know, I've been wracking me brains why you might choose not to apply for head of ladieswear." "And there's only one thing I can think of." "Are you in trouble?" "Because if you are, you have to make him stand by you, Denise." "Hold him to his promises." "I'll talk to him, if you can't do it..." "No, Clara." "No." "It's not that." "It's complicated, but it's not that." "Well, I would ask, but you're not going to say." "Are you?" "Look, I won't change anything, you know, if it's me that gets the job." "Not a thing." "But there's so much more we could do here." "This could be a department like no other." "A store no one's ever been to before." "Not even a shop any more." "It could be a...fantasy." "This isn't life, Denise, it's work." "Only work." " How did they take it?" " Most of them disappointed." "Myrtle murderous." "Weston!" "He punishes them through me." "No, he punishes you through them." "He is a man who sees where the tender places are and lands the blow accordingly." "(KNOCKING AT DOOR)" "I'm sorry to interrupt, Mr Moray, sir." "Might I have a moment of your time?" "I'll be in the office." "Denise." "Tell me again what it will be like when The Paradise is ours." "Tell me again why I must stand aside." "What's happened?" " Clara is... (SIGHS) ...my friend." "But to her, head of Ladieswear is only a job." "To me, it would be a chance to grow, to breathe, to live." "It...will... be...worth it." "We are playing for bigger stakes." "We must set aside lesser considerations." " Lesser considerations?" " It's only one department." "Besides, perhaps this advancement would not have been in our interests." "If, as you believe, Katherine is not as accepting of the situation, of us, as she would pretend, any failure on your part would only give her ammunition to use against us." " You imagine I would fail?" " Everyone fails." "That is how we learn, by making mistakes." "Most of us do so privately." "You would not have that luxury." "You're too visible, too known." "Your association with me is a public secret." "You would be scrutinised and judged from the moment you took on the role." "Failure." "Mistakes." "Do you even believe me capable of filling Miss Audrey's shoes?" "I think you are my little champion but this is a big step up." " Do not speak to me as if I am a child!" " Denise!" "We are receiving applications not just from this city but beyond." "I have never known competition as fierce!" "(SIGHING) Look." "You know that you astonish me, that your ideas astonish me." "But being head of ladieswear requires more than ideas." "You're bowing out of a fight you may have lost anyway." "Is that really such a sacrifice?" "It is to me." "I would like to make an application for the position of head of ladieswear." "Denise." "I thought you'd changed your mind." "I've changed it back again." "MORAY"." "As you know, we have all week been taking applications for the post vacated by Miss Audrey." "You should take it as a personal compliment to yourselves that so many talented and highly experienced candidates have applied to join your number." "All submissions are now in and we'll presently be drawing up a shortlist." "Successful candidates will be invited to The Paradise for interview." "Thank you." "Those two are going to give themselves neck strain not looking at each other." "All right there, lads?" "You have any bets?" "Walter!" "You are running a book." "Odds are given on who will be appointed head of ladieswear." "I should like to place a bet." "10 shillings." "On Myrtle." "Arthur, you're wondering why I choose to throw away 10 shillings." "Myrtle hasn't even applied for the job." "The only reason Walter was offering odds is because the thought of her taking over from Miss Audrey made everyone laugh so." "How do you suppose it feels to be the joke that everyone gets?" "What if there were to be a gesture made?" "10 shillings that said he considered Myrtle the equal of anything and anyone." "It would make her feel better." "But only if she heard about it." "WESTON"." "So, how do we progress?" "When all applications are read, it is for each of you to put forward the name or names of those you feel merit an interview." "Thank you." "We have a shortlist of four." "If our business is concluded, I should see to Flora." "How would you like me to respond to the candidates who have not been so fortunate as to make the shortlist?" "WESTON:" "Thank them for their interest." "Tell them we'll be happy to consider them for future positions." "Mr Franks, why is it that whenever I see you," "I have the impression that you're watching me?" "I have told you." "I have trained myself to know men." "To know when a man is worth the following." "To also know when the tide of history is changing and inclining towards a new favourite." "To find oneself of use, of service to such a man, would be a very great privilege." "(ALL TALKING, INDISTINCT)" "Oh, Mama, look." "Excuse me." "She looks lovely." "You both do." " Oh!" " Sorry, Mrs Weston." "Arthur," "Mrs Weston has taken faint." "Please deliver these to Clara and Denise." "Yes, sir." "Take my arm." "Mrs Weston, I do not wish to intrude." "But I cannot see you in such distress and not ask if there is any way in which I might help." "You are a father, are you not?" "I have two children." "When I married, I did not expect..." "Flora is..." "My husband finds her woefully ignorant." "And perhaps she is." "But I do not want her banished to the schoolroom with lessons and tutors and no love." "I do not want to lose her." "Well, I should not care for my children to be raised in ignorance." "But why must it be in a schoolroom?" "Why can you not teach her?" "You are an accomplished woman and you have had the benefit of travel to broaden your mind." "I am so shallow I remember almost none of it." "All the better." "You can teach Flora and yourself at the same time." "I cannot see how our children could be expected to acquire a love of learning unless we ourselves demonstrate it." "And do you follow your own precept?" "Every day," "I open the dictionary at random and pick out a word and commit it to memory." "Though I discount medical terms and shrubs." "Such a thirst for knowledge." "You quite put me to shame." "One day when we were young, Moray used a word I did not understand." "I realised that if I did not try and match his hunger for betterment, then he would get so far ahead of me I would never catch him again." "I did not want to lose him." "You need not feel alone in your efforts." "If you would consider allowing Flora out of your sight for a time, then the business of The Paradise can be an education in itself." "And I believe it is high time I had a junior to assist me." " Sam!" " You made the shortlist!" "And Clara, and two others." "Including her with a mouth like a cat's arse." "Ah, I see Myrtle's refinement is rubbing off on all of us." " Hey, when are the interviews?" " Tomorrow." "Sam, what did you mean when you said the only thing Miss Audrey had that I don't is a motto?" "Not just Miss Audrey, every head of department in this building has a signature saying." "With Miss Audrey, it was things came to her in the night." "Mr Edwards in glassware is forever declaring," ""A smudge on the crystal is a slur on the department."" "With Walter in the bays it's..." "SAM AND WALTER:" "I can see what you're doing." "(DENISE LAUGHS)" " You cannot be without one, Denise." "Now, I took the liberty of setting down a few possibilities." ""Girls, girls, girls, girls, girls."" "Like the word, like the way you say it." "Perhaps more of a personal treat, that one." ""When the day is done, so are we."" "Oh, in case of idleness." ""We have a saying in Peebles..."" " Ah, now, the genius of that one is you can use it on staff and customers alike." "Well, since no one has any notion of what is said in Peebles, you can append it with whatever you like." "Your own thoughts, delivered with all the authority of a proverb." ""We have a saying in Peebles."" "Oh, Myrtle." "Is that not something the three of you could arrange in private?" "Sam has no notion of this season's décolleté." "DENISE:" "There." " Congratulations, miss." " Thank you, Arthur." "Though, uh, Mr jonas shouldn't be pleased." "Haven't you heard?" "Everyone's talking about it." "He put 10 shillings on Myrtle to get the job." "At 50040-1." "That one." " Dutch." " This?" "Spanish." " Over yonder?" " Italian." "Like the Spanish but with more I's." "Flora, you are a marvel." "In one morning, you have managed to identify every European language and a few from farther afield." "Now, crates from japan are particularly precious to us at this time." "Why do you suppose that is?" "Japanese items are popular." "They are." "Is there a shortage?" "We fear one and why might that be?" "There has been a grave disaster." "Their navy was sunk in a storm and now they are unable to deliver the goods they have made." "Well, that would have to be a mighty storm indeed, but you are right to think in terms of disaster." "Only this one was man-made." " A war?" " A war brewing." "And war destroys trade as well as lives." "See?" "Through logical deduction, you have come to a grasp of world affairs." "Tired?" "Very well, then." "There are some people I should like you to meet." "Four and a half yards of finest cambric at 3 and 6 makes 15 shillings and ninepence." "Add the grosgrain ribbon, we'll call it an even 16, which means the ribbon costs..." "Thruppence?" "Ladies and gentlemen, my new assistant, Miss Flora Weston." "How do you do it so fast?" "Sam knows his times tables like no one else." "It's not easy." "The seven times table, for example, is the very devil." "No sane person can learn it." "You have to keep it in your head with tricks." "Nines, on the other hand, now, there's a pattern with nines." " Boutons." " Y es." " Gants." " Very good." " (WHISPERING) Parapluie." " Parapluie." "Because pluie rain." "I've learned so many things today." "I don't know how they'll fit inside my head." "There's more room in there than you think." "Some items may fall out but most will find a place to lodge." "Miss Flora." "What does "noxious" mean?" "Well, that's another way of saying "harmful"." "I don't know what people have been saying about Myrtle's cooking, but I can assure you, her cake is excellent." "Harmful." "Why would Mama wish to harm Denise?" "Papa says that is why Mama watches her all the time but I think he must be confused." "I think Mama watches her all the time because she is so pretty." " The child overheard something." " She is a child." "She cannot be sure what was meant, nor can we." "Whatever the meaning, it is clear that Mrs Weston bears some manner of ill will towards Denise." "And yet she advocates her for head of ladieswear." "There is a paradox in that which unnerves me." "I am no enemy to Mrs Weston." "But Denise is my friend." "I care for her." "And now," " I fear for her." " You think I don't?" "I think you did not see her as I did every day of your absence." "Alone." "Exposed to gossip and rumour and the speculation of scandal-mongers." "Without the man she loves, unable to share the feelings of her heart with anyone." "Stared at, and pointed at and whispered about." "And yet through it all, she held her head up and did her job with skill and courtesy and grace." "Even though there were days when I could see that the only thing holding her together was her own force of will." "I've never held anyone in higher esteem." "Not even you, Moray." "(SIGHS)" "Denise is gallant and resourceful." "But she's not invulnerable." "You persuaded her once to withdraw from the fray, could you not do so again?" "I fear Denise is no longer minded to listen to me." "Then you must make her." "I am disgracefully ignorant and I simply cannot tolerate it any longer." "I am determined to educate myself." "Oh, I see there are elections in France." "Do you take an interest in politics, mademoiselle?" "No?" "Then perhaps you would care to know that the Prince of Wales is shooting in Scotland." "And the House of Commons is to debate the Japanese question." "Now..." "What do you suppose that is, and why do you suppose they are debating it?" "I expect it has something to do with the war brewing in japan." "And what do you know of the impending war in japan?" "I disrupts trade, Papa." "I think perhaps that is why the government wish to debate it." "(SCOFFS)" "And I thought you empty-headed." "Flora, it seems I misjudged you." "I have all manner of things in my head now but Mr Dudley says there is still room for more." "Mr Dudley." "I've had such a day, Papa." "I'm so glad that we belong to The Paradise." "We do not belong to The Paradise." "The Paradise belongs to us." "She means only that she feels at home there." "My daughter, at home in a shop?" "Flora, run along to your room." "Martha will be wanting to get you ready for bed." "Goodnight, Mama." "(DOOR CLOSING)" "I thought I'd made my feelings clear." "The Paradise is not her playground." " But see how much she has learned." " I will not have my daughter smelling of that shop as if she were the spawn of some merchant." "Perhaps you were right." "A governess, tutors, it all does seem rather unnecessary." "Perhaps I should simply send her away to school." "I will not allow it." "Do you hear me?" "I will not." "You dare to dictate to me?" "I warned you, Katherine." "Do not presume on my gallantry or the protection of your sex." "If you choose to cross swords with me," "I will make you remember you married a soldier." " I will meet you head on!" " Yes." "And yet you bear your scars on your back." "Get out." "Get out!" "You nervous about your interviews tomorrow?" "I would be, if I were you." "I wouldn't sleep a wink." "(KNOCKING AT DOOR)" "Oh, well, let me guess." "You saw a nightingale on the way to The Three Crowns?" "Or was it a chaffinch in Mr Moray's office?" "I won't be long." "Well, if those two are on terms again, I may as well give up." "Just for once, I thought I might be in with a chance." "Mr Moray wouldn't give Denise the job just because he likes her." " He's not like that." " Arthur's right." "If he was such a fool for love, he would never have built up The Paradise." "If he wasn't, he'd have never lost it." "(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)" "Denise." "Why did you wish to see me?" "When I returned from Paris, you told me that, uh," "Katherine was too calm, too kind, that you feared her." "You were right to do so." "She means you harm." "If you win this role..." "This role that you do not consider me ready for or capable of." "If you are made head of ladieswear, you will be visible, exposed." "And whatever Katherine's designs," "I will not be able to shield you." "You fear your plans will suffer through me?" "No, I fear you will suffer." "I hadn't realised until Dudley told me how my departure to France left you vulnerable, unprotected." "I would not for all the world have that happen again." "Denise, please." "Let me keep you safe." "Please, withdraw." "When you were my age, you were building The Paradise." "Yes, but you're not me." "You are yourself." " Your little champion?" " Yes." " But not your equal?" " Look, you..." "You are different." "When I was your age, I was building The Paradise." "But not only because I had the ideas, because I'd gone out into the world and begged and borrowed and browbeat my way into the kind of financial backing that turns ideas into reality." "That is not something I see in you." "Because if I walked into a bank seeking financial backing, they would assume I'd come to sell my services as a cleaner." "Or perhaps just to sell myself." "I do not even know that a woman would be allowed through the doors." "It is different for me." "But not because I am different but because the world treats me so." "Can you not see that?" "I would not want you to become another version of what I am." "Of who I am." "Oh, john." "That is where we differ." "Denise." "He can't see." "He can't see that I am like him in every way." "That the limits to what I may achieve are not inside me but outside!" "I'm sorry." "It's late." "You do not have to listen to my tales of woe." "I would listen to whatever you had to tell me." "I only wish that I could show him what I'm truly capable of." "DUDLEY:" "So four chairs, in the corridor, outside Mr Moray's office." "Mrs Weston." "You are in advance of the schedule." " Interviews aren't set to commence..." " I wanted to see you first." "It is the most unfortunate thing." "Flora's doll." "It seems there was a fault in the manufacture." "I'm sorry to hear that, ma'am." "We will, of course, replace it." "If you could let me have the defective item..." "No." "It is gone." "It's my fault." "I did not wish Flora to see it and be distressed." "I have told her we will replace it with another the same, just the same, and it will be as if nothing happened." "Mrs Weston, is something wrong?" "Has something happened to distress you?" "Thank you for the care you took with Flora." "I will not forget." "Sir." "Might I have a moment of your time?" "Oh, I've a devilish head on me this morning." "Last night is something of a fog." "I can't remember what I was drinking." "Other than too much." "Your health." "BARMAID:" "Yes, sir." "How can I be of help?" "I was hoping it might be the other way round, that I may be of assistance to you." "I wasn't aware I stood in need of assistance." "No." "Quite possibly you are not." "You must understand The Paradise is more than just a place, it's a people, a tribe, whose leader is Moray." "They are weak, credulous." "Loyal beyond measure." "They do not see that Moray's time is past, only that he was good to them, their rightful king." "Every action against him increases their loyalty." "It is possible, more than possible that in their ill-conceived fidelity to the man, they might turn on those they view as his usurpers." "Well, they'd be turning on themselves in the process." "I'd sack every man jack of them." "What would then happen to The Paradise, the goose that lays the golden eggs?" "I will not tolerate insurrection." "I have told you." "They are simple, credulous." "All that is needed is for them to transfer their loyalty." "All their murmurings and mutterings at present centre on the forbidden outing to the music hall." "If you were to find a way of restoring it..." "In my experience, the rescinding of an order is never anything but an exhibition of weakness." "I believe there is another way." "You are this morning conducting interviews for the head of ladieswear, are you not?" "If a customer was desirous of a gown you did not think suited her, what would you say?" "That would depend on the price of the gown." "Before venturing an opinion on the matter," "I would seek the advice of a more experienced authority." "Sir, I believe there are some truths a woman does not wish to hear." "I would tell her the truth." "I do not want her custom only today but tomorrow and for many years to come." "And for that, there must be a trust between us." "At the heart of it, one must have faith in one's own stock." "If you are given this advancement, what would you change?" "Whatever I was told to." "Heavens." "Where to start?" "I wouldn't change a thing." "If it was good enough for Miss Audrey, it's good enough for me." "I would change anything I felt needed changing." "Would you care to be more specific?" "Why, no." "Because then you would have my ideas and I might have no advancement." "You seem to set great store by your ideas, Miss Lovett." "Not just by my ideas but by my ability to make them real." "Miss Lovett, one last question." "Let us say that for reasons of morale, you wished to take the staff on a trip to the music hall." "And let us say that for reasons we need not go into, you were denied." "What would you do?" "If I could not take the staff to the music hall," "I believe I would seek to bring the music hall to them." "And if you were told that the considerations preventing attendance were in part financial, that there was no budget to pay for any performance, what would you do?" "We have saying in Peebles." ""If the store doesn't have it, make it yourself."" "That's what I would do." "I would make a night at the music hall." " Oh, Denise!" "How did it go?" " I said it, Sam." ""We have a saying in Peebles."" "I looked them straight in the eye and I just said it!" " So, does that earn me a kiss?" " Better than a kiss." "Drink after work?" "JONAS:" "Denise." "There is someone who would like a word with you privately." "Miss Lovett." "An impressive interview." "I was particularly struck by your idea for the homemade music hall." "Tell me..." "If you were to attempt such a thing in reality, what would you need?" "The great hall, after dark." "With as many lamps and candles as we could find." "And if the experience was to truly replicate a night at the music hall, there would have to be refreshments." "That could be arranged." "Who would be your performers?" "Us." "The Paradise!" "Very well." "You are commissioned to bring such an event into being." "Tonight." "Shall we say an hour after closing?" "It is an opportunity, Denise." "To prove yourself." "To show to all of them what you're capable of." "I did not know that you and Mr Weston were so much in each other's confidence." "And now you're wondering what business it is I am about." "Well, I shall tell you." "I serve The Paradise." "You must shine, Denise." "You must persuade even the most unlikely of your colleagues to take part." "You must conjure something from nothing." " Why do you look at me?" " Mr Jonas." "When was the last time you danced a reel?" "Urn..." "A man cannot dance a reel alone and a man with one arm is no fit partner for anyone." "Well, I have two arms and two feet." "Although both feet are left, so perhaps overall we'll equal each other out." " You can sing?" " I can sing." "Put me down!" "Thank you, Susy, have a think about the song." "I've got it!" "DENISE:" "So a little birdie tells me that you have a talent." "Sam." "I'm relying on you." "You have such a way about you." "You keep the customers entertained for hours." " You were born to do this." " Now, there's no need to flatter us." "You know I'd give you the shirt off me back." "I don't want your shirt, Sam." "I only want your wit and your love of making people laugh." "How about I throw a little something extra in there as well?" "Every time I seek to influence events, the effect seems to be the perfect opposite of what I intended!" "I wish her to withdraw, to be less visible, and she burns brighter by the moment!" "DUDLEY: just something in the air." "In teaching Flora, I hope to soften her father towards her." "But I fear the reverse may be true." "Torn Weston is not the kind of man who would love the child for herself." "Only the reflected glory she might bring." "Ten shillings?" "I think and I think." "Still I can't fathom the meaning of it." "I was on the road for many months." "I met with no kindness there." " And much here." " It didn't come with a price tag." "Perhaps I know what it is to feel judged, known." "One's borders so completely mapped that all around imagine there is no more to you than what is seen." "No inner self." "Well." "Ten shillings is a considerable sum." "A woman might find her self-respect again with that amount riding on her back." "Though you might just as well have bought me a drink." "A drink is something you can buy for yourself." "There's a plum duff in the stove if you've a mind." "You still have a spare look about you and if there's to be reeling, you'll need your energy." "Who said anything about a reel?" "The walls have ears, Mr Jonas." "What I want to know is will there be a kilt worn?" "I have a strange partiality for a man in a kilt." "Denise." "It is an open secret that you are working to stage a music hall in The Paradise after closing tonight." " Yes, sir." " And Mr Weston is to attend?" "I believe so." "My impression is that he regretted his decision to cancel the outing and wishes to make reparation without losing face." "Denise, I wonder if you could find space in the programme for an act that would be both entertaining and instructive?" "Mr Weston, sir." " Good evening, Mrs Weston." " Good evening." " Flora." " Dudley." "Would it be okay if I show Miss Flora backstage?" "Yes, of course." "Flora, would you like to see backstage?" "(SINGING A SCALE)" "You look beautiful." "You sound..." "lovely." " Sam, you ready?" " He's nearly there." "ARTHUR:" "Come on, Sam." "just one last squeeze!" "(ELASTIC SNAPPING)" " SAM:" "Oh!" "I'm in." "(RHYTHMIC CLANGING)" "That better bloody not be what I think it is!" "(AUDIENCE SHUSHING)" "(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)" "Don't you know that imitation is a form of flattery?" "SAM:" "Welcome, ladies and gentlemen." "Ooh!" "Hello, handsome." "Now, ladies and gentlemen, are we ready for the show?" "AUDIENCE:" "Yes!" "I said, are we ready for the show?" "ALL:" "Yes!" "Then I give you..." "The Amazing Arthur!" "AUDIENCE:" "Ooh!" "Mr Weston, your hat, if you wouldn't mind." "There you go." "(APPLAUSE)" "The Mighty Waldo!" "(APPLAUSE)" "# Early one morning just as the sun was rising" "# I heard a young maid sing In the valley below" "# Oh, don't deceive me Oh, never leave me" "# How could you use a poor maiden so?" "#" "I always were a sentimental bugger." "DUDLEY:" "You're a nightingale, Susy!" "(PLAYING SCOTTISH REEL)" "Bravo!" "WOMAN:" "Lovely footwork, Jonas!" "MAN:" "Very good, Mr Jonas!" "AUDIENCE:" "Ooh!" "(APPLAUDING)" "Now, ladies and gentlemen, please, pray silence for our final act and the highlight of our show." "The infant prodigy" "Miss Flora Weston!" " What is she about to do?" " Wait and see, it's good." "Ladies and gentlemen, 10 questions only, we only have time for 10 questions, so that'll come on a first come, first serve basis." "So..." "Yes." "I would like to know..." "What is the capital of Peru?" "Lima." "Yes." "I would like to ask the infant prodigy how do you say "umbrella" in French?" "Parapluie." "WOMAN:" "Can you name me one chemical element?" "Copper." "What is the largest river in North America?" "The Mississippi River." "MAN:" "Can you spell the word "Chrysanthemum"?" "C-H-R-Y-S-A-N-T-H-E-M-U-M." "Oh, my goodness." "JONAS:" "Can you tell me the capital of Scotland?" "Edinburgh." "Take a bow, take a bow!" " Excuse me." "(APPLAUSE DIES)" "I should like to ask the infant prodigy a question." "In what year did Christopher Columbus discover America?" "1492." "Bravo!" "She is a credit to you!" "Well done, Miss Flora." "Go and sit down." "Thank you all for coming, ladies and gentlemen!" "And we have two people to thank for this evening." "Mr Weston..." "MAN:" "Thanks, Mr Weston!" "...and Denise Lovett of ladieswear!" "(ALL CHEERING)" "Go on!" "Go on!" "Lovett, have the job." "But I'll tell you something." "You'll lose the man." "Denise!" "You have dazzled us all." "I only wanted to dazzle you." "I can't bear it when we're apart." "I can't bear it!" "AUDIENCE: (CHANTING) Denise!" "Denise!" "Denise!" "Your public awaits." "AUDIENCE:" "Denise!" "Denise!" "Denise!" "Denise!" "Denise!" "Denise!" "Denise!" "Moray." "I think we've found our new head of ladieswear." "Only, be careful, Moray." "Denise shines so bright, she may yet outshine you." "I don't think even you could have achieved what she did today." "DENISE"." "I am head of ladieswear." "You need to step into the role now, that means making decisions that others won't like." "DENISE:" "Susy?" "Please attend to the young lady." "I will leave it with you while I have a coffee with Moray." "Why, you're just a spoilt little nothing, that's what you are!" "You are a child!" "Susy, go down to the refectory right now." "I want my mum!" "It was you who presided over this humiliation of my child." "What do you propose to do about this girl?" "You wanted this position." "It is not all tea parties." "You must collect your belongings and go."