"I love my house." "It consists of one room... that belongs only to me and my parents... of another one which is... unfortunately occupied by my aunt, my uncle... and my hideous cousin, Svetlana." "The antechamber is the most beautiful room... of the whole flat." "This is where my grandmother lives." "Everyone goes in and out... slamming doors and stamping their feet." "Unfortunately she sleeps lightly... and jumps at the slightest noise." "It is you, Zoran." "It is in the living room... that Grandma keeps her sewing machine... the dowry for her marriage with Him." "She only talks about Grandfather in terms of pronouns." "The bathroom, the toilet, the larder... and the kitchen are common rooms." "We use them in turns." "The kitchen is my favorite." "When cakes are being baked for different holidays..." "Grandma always lets me lick the bowls and casseroles." "My parents are artists." "My mother is a ballerina and practices in the theater... whereas my father has to practice in our room... the only living space we have." "You're driving us mad!" "Aren't you ready?" "What?" "Slut." "With such a mother..." "Considering her job..." "A permanent tension reigns between the two families." "According to Dad, there is no such a conflict... that can't be resolved in a polite manner." " Come out." " Why?" "To tell me what it is you object to my wife's behavior." "Leave us in peace!" "What's wrong with being a ballerina?" "Bunch of primitive and insolent idiots!" "Insolent?" "The kid is looking at you!" "Enough." "Help me in the kitchen." "After this quite usual row... they spent the whole afternoon frying peppers... as if nothing had happened at all." "But Daddy, completely disgusted... took the clarinet away with him, to never bring it back again." "Hello, dear." "However, one member of our family lives all alone." "Grandfather has never lived with us... because Grandma had thrown him out before the war." "Is your father in?" "And your mother?" "How's school?" "Grandpa comes around often, always about noon." "At lunchtime, as it happens!" "Me first." "No, me." "I am more important!" "You are as fresh as a French maid." "He doesn't even buy his own paper." "Our meals are financed by Grandma." "The money comes from the inheritance... her father had left her." "She's doesn't really mean it." "It is with great sadness that Grandma... recalls the last words of her father..." ""This is something you can live on..." ""when that yobbo leaves you. "" "Enjoy your meal." "Zoran... don't eat so quickly." "I have always been plump." "Grandma says "rounded"... and my cousin Svetlana, naturally, "fatty," "obese. "" "Once she used an expression... she couldn't have invented herself..." "You are a fat "degenerate"!" "Mummy, he's broken our jam jar!" "My uncle said the same thing... when he caught me eating the wall." "I couldn't explain that irresistible urge to taste it." "He was the only one to have noticed the holes." "He is also very fascinated by weird phenomena." "Thus that word slipped out." "You are not..." "You are a degenerate!" "According to my uncle, the loo is the "crisis generator. "" "Will you ever learn to air?" "Why don't you ever close the door?" "This uncle's thought could be explained... by the fact that one has to pass through the loo... to get into the bathroom and vice-versa." "It's nothing." "Who's used the hot water?" "Zoran, is it you in there?" "Mum and her colleagues often dance for Comrade Tito... during his hunting balls." "As a sign of gratitude, he offers them the game." " What?" " Over there!" " Calm down!" " Over there!" "For goodness sake!" "What?" "Delicious." "Venison has a rather disgusting taste... but we all pretend to savor it... since it can only be seen in movies... and on the tables of grand seigneurs." "In order to forget what I'm eating..." "I imagine Comrade Tito facing up all these wild beasts." "What is Comrade Tito like?" "I wouldn't really know." "First of all, they search you from top to bottom." " Is that so?" " Yes, Vlado." "Then they don't take their eyes off us... with their fingers on the triggers." "Or in the nose." "In the end, he is literally invaded by his ass-lickers." "We are eating!" "Are the communists fighting over the feast?" "Daddy!" "Then some guy with a mustache from the Protocol Office... gives away the catch... after Tito's picture has been taken... in the middle of his game." "So finally we get it all..." "us, the staff... not to waste anything." "Yes, his working class." "Stop elbowing me." "Summertime in Belgrade is beautiful." "We go to the "Students' beach"... the Army swimming pool... but it is no good there because the soldiers piss in it... and we also have the Danube." "Do you need help?" "No." "Enjoy yourselves." "Has your father always been working here?" "No." "Only since he got out of jail." "The Central Prison?" "No." "A clink somewhere at sea." "What is your vocation?" "History of Art." "You know what that is?" "Why don't you do your job, then?" "He knows why." "Who, God?" "You know God doesn't exist, do you?" "In this country, there is someone more important than God." "Do you understand?" "You will one day." "Maybe." "We always sneak in the cinemas." "I like to sit in the back... on my own, to get away." "The masses have gathered to greet Marshal Tito." "He seems very pleased with the joyous acclamations." "Who was that?" "Not us!" "Let's get out." "The film is shit!" "No foreign delegation... has ever been greeted so warmly... as was Marshal Tito and his delegation." "At this moment, Marshal Tito marches past... the National Guard, accompanied by the regimental band." "Tito's Blue Train comes into sight." "The colors of Yugoslavia... and the small flags leap out..." "You are nothing but a bunch of dirty communists." "What?" "Why is Zoran gluing Tito's picture, then?" "Answer!" "Look up!" "What are we?" "Dirty communists." "And you, you are a bunch of dirty capitalists." "Now go and repeat it." "She slapped me!" " Who?" " Auntie!" "On the head?" "Don't you ever touch my little girl again!" "And you, knock before entering!" "Love is the most complicated thing in the world." "It creates a lot of problems for the grownups." "Like when Daddy was hired as a repetiteur... by Matilda, the diva with the big tits." "Mirjana, no!" "Matilda's ears kept buzzing for six days... the premiere of the "Queen of Spade" was canceled... and Daddy was sacked on the spot." "Then he had to work as a saxophonist in a night bar." "Auntie says, considering the number of whores involved... there is no difference... between the National Theater and that bar." "That is why Mummy waits for Daddy every night... and they come home later and later." "Who knows what you're doing in that dump... with all those whores!" "And a singer again!" "She has no voice at all!" "So?" "Isn't it obvious?" "It is a love letter." "Right?" "So what?" "What do you mean, "so what"?" "Tell me, what does it prove?" "I don't make this dancer write to me." "Nothing has happened between us." "He wants nothing in return." "Do you know how many letters I've received?" "Ten, fifteen letters!" "And I've kept only this one!" "Do you know why?" "Silence!" "Because it is nice!" "Come on, you are overdoing it!" "Have you seen the time?" "We can never sleep in peace!" "Don't touch me." "Don't touch me." "You know that I love you." "Of course I do." "Love creates a variety... of insoluble problems for the grownups." "It's not any simpler with the younger ones." "I realized that the day I met Jasna." "Thank you." "Good-bye." "My pleasure." "See you tomorrow." "There's no need to walk me back any longer." "Why?" "Because you are younger and shorter than me." "It is not true!" "Only since Christmas I've gained four centimeters." "Christmas!" "You go talking about the joy of a happy family again." "The problem is not my size... but the fact that Jasna is a war orphan." "Her parents died during the war... and she lives in an orphanage." "Children... the life of young Tito wasn't easy at all." "He had to get up very early and go to bed very late." "The young Tito had to take the cows to pasture... and a horse by the name of Pootko." "I quote Comrade Tito..." "What are you staring at?" "I quote..." ""..." "Pootko obeyed only me. "" "In those days, no money, and therefore no trousers." "But it didn't bother young Tito to play without any trousers on." "He had three favorite games." "Here's one of them." "Zoran!" "Do you want me to throw you out?" "The father of my friend Djura is in the police... and he keeps a gun behind each and every radiator... of their flat." "You are going out on a mission?" "This late?" "Get off my back." "You know I can't talk about it." "Of course!" "I do know where you are off to!" "Why are you taking the gun with you?" "To chase the bandits." "Or someone else." "Do you know who will pass by the neighborhood tomorrow?" "The Emperor." "Who?" "The Emperor of Ethiopia!" "So what?" "And who is going to be with him in his limousine?" "The Marshal in person!" "I couldn't fall asleep that night." "I had to snatch this opportunity." "I was worried because Djura's father had said... a huge crowd will come to greet Comrade Tito." "If we don't take into consideration our local loony... there wasn't a single soul on the streets." "Hey, kiddy!" "Some cutie!" "Where are you going so late?" "To wait for Comrade Tito." "Tito?" "Really?" "That's a good boy." "He's back!" "Silence!" "Bumming around?" "Where were you?" "By the bridge, around the port, and at the market." "What were you doing there all night?" "I was waiting for Comrade Tito." "Who?" "Comrade Tito." "He was to pass by the neighborhood with the Emperor... so I wanted to get myself a good place." "Have you seen Comrade Tito's big ring?" "It is a wedding ring." "It means that he is married." "Do all married people have to wear one?" "No." "Only those who want to show their attachment to someone." "See you tomorrow." "There's no need to walk me back any longer." "Why?" "I shall be leaving soon." "Where are you going?" "On a "March Around Tito's Homeland. "" "For how long?" "A fortnight." "What?" "Why are you not eating your doughnuts?" "I can't, thank you." "Those are your favorite, though." "He's even refusing his doughnuts." "Is he feeling all right?" "It is love that torments him." "The name of his sweetheart is Jasna." "She's pubescent." "It is not the sort of thing one says." "She's got tits!" "What did you say?" "Where do we register for that March?" "It is not that easy." "You think that anyone can go?" "How to become a member of the elite?" "Quite simple." "The best amongst the best pioneers will be chosen." "Thank you." "When do I see you again?" "Sorry, but this trip will take up all my time." "We'd better break up now." "What?" "I won't forget you." "Good-bye." "What is that?" "Would you keep it for me for a while?" "Children." "Composition." "Djura, hand out the notebooks." "Silence!" "That was all I needed!" "I could never get more than a "C"... and according to my teacher..." "I am only good at scribbling nonsense." "But suddenly a miracle occurred." ""The providence," Grandma would say." "The author of the best composition on the topic..." ""Do You Love Comrade Tito and Why?"... will represent our school... on the "March Around Tito's Homeland. "" "The winner will be chosen by a special jury... composed of our famous writers." "On you go!" "Djura, don't copy." "I see you." "What's wrong?" "Nothing, teacher." "Are you not feeling well?" "No, I am concentrating." "Come on, finish up." "Five minutes left." "Finished!" "Hurry up!" "Just a stanza." "A stanza?" "Time's up." "Finished." "Zoran hasn't touched his rice pudding." "So what?" "It won't hurt him to lose some weight." "Do you want some pancakes?" "No!" "It's all right now." "Make that paranoid shut up!" "What's a paranoid?" "It's nothing." "You were having bad dreams." "Go back to sleep." "Dear children..." "Today I am happy." "Zoran, come to the blackboard." "Your friend Zoran... our little Zoran... has won the competition for the best composition... on the topic "Do You Love Tito and Why?"... and he will represent our school... on the "March Around Tito's Homeland. "" "Moreover, Zoran's very beautiful poem... is the best composition of all the prize winners." "It means that Zoran has written... the best composition in Belgrade." "I'll ask Zoran kindly to read his poem." ""You ask me do I love Tito?"" "Stop." "That's not the way to read a poem." ""You ask me do I love Tito?" "It is a superfluous question." ""Everybody adores Tito..." "the Chinese and the Spaniards..." ""the Indians and the Blacks..." ""all the children of our planet." ""The soldiers only think of Him..." ""the shepherd when he plays his flute..." ""the grass sees Him when it grows..." ""the little cows when they browse..." ""the world thinks highly of Him..." ""the swallows only sing for Him." ""And when I feel blue..." ""I go to bed late at night..." ""and I close my eyes tight..." ""If someone asked me who I love best..." ""I'd say I love Tito more than Mum and Dad. "" "Now we are finished for good!" "FREUD..." ""PSYCHOPATHOLOGY"" "Turn that light off." "I won't be able to get up in the morning." "I am very worried about Zoran." "Come on, he wrote it for fun." "You know, it can happen from a very young age." "If we don't intervene now, it might be too late afterwards." "Are you sleeping?" "Sea." "Boat." "White." "Black." "Good." "And now... woman." "Port." "Port?" "Is it the first thing that crosses your mind?" "Yes." "Love." "Wait a second." "Answer straightaway." "Love." "Orphanage." "Are you sure?" "Or Tito's Homeland." "It's either one or the other." "Choose." "I don't know." "Both." "Have you noticed that boys write... the names of their sweethearts on the walls?" "Is there anybody... you couldn't live without?" "If there is such a person... and if you really love her... why don't you write her name?" "ZORAN LOVES TITO." "Yes!" "Stand up." "Move your fringe." "You are from the Orphanage?" "You have all the gear?" "Yes, Comrade Raja." "Good." "Sit down." "No need to bray like an ass." "Not an ass, but a kangaroo." "Who said that?" "Kangaroo is his nickname." "As from now, and to the end of the March... no one is to speak without authorization." "Understood?" "No, no." "All together." " Understood?" " Understood!" "It's me." "Is that so?" "What are your parents, chubby cheeks?" "They are artists." "One needs artists, too." "Those who are not ready to put in their biggest efforts... drop out now." "Don't go moaning later like some sis... sis..." "Sissy!" "Yes, comrade pioneers, like a sissy!" "Because the enemy is lurking everywhere." "We have to be on the alert." "What will happen if he infiltrates our ranks?" "We'd be finished." "Sit down." "There is a song you have to learn by heart... since you'll often sing it." "Three, four..." "Pretty, pretty is your country" "Pretty your country" "And the white city of Zagreb in it" "The artists are being late." "Your kid is going away." "What can I do?" "Where do you think you are going?" "To find the kid a place." "He's mine now." "Let me introduce Zoran." "There's no room." "All the seats are taken." "Take this thermos!" "I can't." "Dress warmly!" "The letter is stamped." "Just post it." "Don't mess around with girls." "Look at you." "Everything is going to be just fine." "Don't worry." "Off we go." "The cheese, the butter, the milk, and the eggs" "The milk and the eggs, all goes to the white city of Zagreb" "All goes to the white city of Zagreb" "I'd prefer the white if you have any." "I have cream puffs." "You like that?" "Of course, it's what I like most." "Even though she was the only one to be kind to me... she was incredibly getting on my nerves." "Hardly begun and you are already stuffing yourself." "Lights out." "Are you sure you don't want any cream puffs?" "Go on." "Get out." "It's not a game for kids." "Do you hear me?" "ZAGREB-CENTRAL STATION" "What the hell are you doing here?" "Out." "After this long and exhausting trip... educational above all... here we are in the friendly city of Zagreb!" " Guess where I spent the night?" " Stop it, please." "Are you cross with me?" "No." "I just want to listen to him." "At this very moment... now that we have set foot on this soil... that wishes us a hearty welcome... we can already smell the perfume... of Kumrovec, Tito's hometown." "We shall build up an inseparable friendship with our host." "We would like to thank Zagreb, the best friend of Belgrade... for its warm welcome that shall stay engraved in our hearts... as an indestructible proof of friendship between our people." "You deliberately want to put the shame on us?" "Fall in!" "Comrades pioneers!" "This soil has given birth to the greatest son of our country." "What is this fool talking about?" "A man without whom, we wouldn't be anything." "What a fucking bore!" "What?" "Over there!" "Silence in the ranks!" "Stop dawdling!" "Hurry up, fatso!" "It is the last tram station in Zagreb... that Tito's Homeland was beginning." "In other words, the terrain to be conquered by foot." "On top of all that, Comrade Raja announced... that we won't follow the road... but the trails of the comrades partisans... using natural signs." "Over there!" "Over there!" "It means that we were to climb the steepest slopes... since the comrades partisans... loved passing through shitty places." "How come you're here?" " Which way did you go?" " We took the same trail." "They are lying!" "They took the road!" "Has anyone else seen them?" "On your feet!" "I had a walking problem because I was the shortest... and I definitely had the biggest bag... and an itchy rash had started between my legs." "That's the Medvednica." "We shall spend the night... at the foot of the mountain, and we'll climb tomorrow." "Comrades pioneers, let's sing!" "Then something weird happened." "Just the thought that once at the foot of the mountain... we might stop marching and be allowed to drink water... gave me new strength... and made me forget the rash between my legs." "But the others, taking it as a challenge... started racing me." "You didn't think of arriving before me?" "Are you nuts or what?" "Comrades pioneers!" "As of today, we shall all be choosing the best amongst you... whom we shall invest with the privilege to raise the flag." "Today, the person who has deserved this honor... by his assiduous work, is..." "Sinisa Karahmemetovic!" "Please." "Congratulations." "Three, four." "Slavic people, you're the alive spirit of our grandfathers" "While our hearts are filled with the sacred love of our people" "Live, live, Slavic spirit, you will live forever" "Threats of hell and of destruction are in vain" "Sorry, I can't see a thing." "Kangaroo's designation as hero of the day... was so unfair that I didn't sleep a wink... all that first night in Tito's Homeland." "Need help?" "Mind your own business!" "Stop there!" "Who is it?" "It's me." "Password!" "It's me, Zoran!" "And I am the guard!" "Piss off!" "Come on, let's go!" "Get moving!" "My rash was getting more and more painful." "But I didn't know how to soothe it." "Where are you?" "Comrade Raja!" "Jasna!" "Have another one!" "He told you that he was going to rest a while... and catch up with us later?" "No, he showed it." "How?" "Like this!" "Didn't he, by any chance, say..." "No, like this." "You..." "You!" "You are volunteers!" "You are in charge of the camp!" "Is that clear?" "Where are we going?" "To find him, you idiot!" "We've been looking for you six hours and seventeen minutes." "You'll pay for this!" "We shall spend the night here." "In this castle?" "Is it not good enough for you?" "It is here that the grand seigneurs lived... at the expense of poor people." "Do you have some cologne?" "Yes, what for?" "I've cut myself." "For disinfection." "What about me disinfecting you!" "It is a ghost!" "The howling came from there!" "It smells like perfume." "Perfume?" "Here?" "Don't be ridiculous!" "They say there are ghosts..." " Who's "they"?" " I don't know." "You must know!" "The children say..." "The children?" "I'll show them some ghosts!" "Let me stay!" "I am so scared!" "I am the ghost..." "My name is Franja!" "I died 200 years ago!" "It is a ghost!" "It's me, Comrade Raja!" "Jesus!" "What have you done?" "It's not me, it's them." "But who?" "Them, the ghosts." "Let me explain, it was a game." "To free the children from their fears." "You have destroyed a collection of inestimable value!" "It's because of the superstitions." "To cut them short." "Someone is going to pay for this!" "Watch out, fatso!" "You know what's happening?" "The agents are yelling, and he keeps replying:" ""Yes, I understand, it's my fault, it won't happen again. "" "If there was Law and Order in this country... that madman wouldn't be walking around free!" "Shut up, fathead, if you think of keeping your balls!" "Slow down." "I haven't asked you anything!" "We are thirsty." "So am I!" "Why can't we rest a bit?" "Ask the sneak among you!" "Who shall I ask?" "How would I know?" "Traitor, shame on you!" "Why?" "I haven't done anything." "Haven't done anything?" "You've denounced Comrade Raja to that fascist." "What fascist?" "You know perfectly well." "The old conservator." "I couldn't know he is a fascist." "The castle is called after him." "Doesn't it ring a bell?" "How could I know it was Comrade Raja under the sheet?" "Don't play the innocent with me!" "It's finished between us." "I'm breaking up with you." "We have finally reached the last stop before Tito's Hometown." "Instead of enjoying the delights of hot water... a real bed and homemade food..." "I couldn't stop thinking... all that happened to me was a punishment from God." "I was paying for all my impious words and actions... for all the coarse words..." "I used to say with my friends... every time we'd seen a priest... and for the money I had nicked in the church... to see the latest "Tarzan"... the one where Jane shows her tits." "By punishing me, God proves He exists... and that He hasn't forgotten my sins." "Now He is letting me know that He would take... even more rigorous measures." "Then I had a salutary idea." "CHARITY FOR THE CHURCH" "The money Grandma had sewn in my vest... could replace the stolen packet from the church." "But would the Catholic God truly give... that money back to our Orthodox God?" "After your prayer, be so kind to come to the hotel." "Let's start." "Comrades pioneers!" "Let us hear how some of you see Tito's Homeland:" ""Dear Mum and Dad..." ""Grandma and Grandpa, Auntie and Uncle and so on"..." ""Everything would have been fine, had I not got lost..." ""and spent the whole night in the mountain, all by myself..." ""because of the rash on my buttocks!"" "You think it's funny?" "It is sad!" "Tragic!" "These are not the words worthy of a pioneer of Tito... but of a spoiled brat!" ""My buttocks... "" "Didn't I say:" ""Those who are not ready..." ""drop... drop..." ""... out!" Yes, drop out!" "But none of you dropped out!" "Let's rather talk about... what our friend Zoran does during the March." "Had he said:" ""I can't, I don't want..." ""I don't want," fine!" "But him, no!" "He is a constant nuisance." "He's sabotaging... always dragging behind." "In the mountain, he sleeps in the dry... whereas you, you sleep up above... under a torrential rain!" "Because he is the smartest one!" "Well, that rash..." "Say, it can happen to everybody." "But at the same time... he reveals an important side of his personality... his penchant for sneak..." "sneak... ing." "...Ing!" "...ing, comrades pioneers." "In his letter... he is positive that I like disguising myself as a ghost." "If someone who doesn't know me... reads this letter, he'll think I am a bloody lunatic!" "To say I like disguising myself!" "Let's recap:" "What is it..." "Mr. Zoran is complaining about in his letter?" "He's complaining about me and his..." "Buttocks!" "His buttocks, comrades pioneers." "Tell us, where did I find you this afternoon?" "Don't be shy." "In the church." "I didn't hear you." "In the church." "In the church!" "It's mine." "I beg your pardon?" "It's my grandma's ring." "Here it is!" "Let's see." "Why the pioneer Zoran has offered this precious ring... that has adorned the hands of generations of aristocrats... to the pioneer Jasna?" "You don't know?" "It's quite obvious!" "Well." "The pioneer Zoran has a disastrous effect... on the morale of the group!" "Consequently he shall be sent... back to Belgrade by the first train." "The nearest station..." ""what a coincidence" Grandpa would say... was situated in Kumrovec, Tito's Hometown." "We reached it round midday... our last stop not being far from the objective of our trip." "Your sandwich." "Your ticket." "Come here." "Get it out from there." "Do you hear me?" "Fall in!" "What are you waiting for?" "Don't drag your feet!" "One, two, one, two..." "Who's doing the talking?" " You?" " I don't know." "What do you mean, you don't know?" " You mean my poem?" " Give it to me." "Dear Comrade Tito... here, in front of Your house, I owe You an explanation." "There has been a misunderstanding." "I had the honor to represent my school... at this grandiose March." "But I haven't deserved it." "I've done something that no pioneer of Tito's would do." "In my poem, I didn't say the truth... when I wrote that I loved You more than Mum and Dad." "Everyone knows that I love Mum and Dad more than anything." "My grandma, too... all the folks back home... my uncle and my auntie... and my cousin Svetlana." "I would particularly like to point out... that I prefer my friends over You... and a little girl whose name I won't mention now." "As well as..." "Johnny Weissmuller in the role of Tarzan..." "Gary Cooper in all his roles... the circus of "Adria"... the gypsy who repairs the casseroles... and our local loony." "I love everybody around me, all those You don't know... and You can't even imagine how nice they are... and how much I care about them." "Three days after we returned home... a letter arrived for me, by registered mail." "It's from him for Zoran, in person." "Impossible!" "Zoran has nothing to do with the communists!" "Nonsense." "Don't tear it up!" "It's mine!" "No doubt." "Comrade Tito was addressing Himself to me personally... and was inviting me to His place for His birthday." "Your son is going to Tito's birthday." "It would be rude to go empty-handed." "What could we possibly buy him that he didn't already have?" "Zoran will decide by himself whether he'll go or not." "At the entrance of the White Palace... some very pleasant people searched us from top to bottom." "It is with Kangaroo that they were the most pleasant... they stripped him down... maybe because he doesn't look like a kid." "In the halls of the Palace... instead of armors, there were paintings... of workmen and partisans, working their guts out." "You know what's happened to Comrade Raja?" "You don't?" "He committed suicide." "Hung himself." "My birthday is not a national holiday." "It is a day of joy." "Your holiday." "The day of the Youth." "If you'd allow, Comrade Tito." "This is nice, I like this." "Who is this?" "It's our teacher, Comrade Raja." "But where is he?" "How come the chief is not with us?" "He committed suicide." "What about a few pictures?"