"This is what I get in return for 30 years of service for my company?" "And they send some yo-yo like you in here, to try to tell me that I'm out of a job?" "They should be telling you you're out of a job." "You have a lot of gall, coming in here and firing your No.1 producer." "You're going to go home and make more money than you've ever made in your life and I'm going to go home without a pay cheque." "Fuck you." "I guess you leave me dumbfounded." "I don't know where this is coming from." "How am I meant to go back as a man and explain to my wife I lost my job?" "On a stress level, I've heard that losing your job is like a death in the family." "But personally, I feel more like the people I worked with were my family and I died." "I can't afford to be unemployed." "I have a house payment, I have children." "I don't know how you can live with yourself, but I'm sure that you'll find a way while the rest of us are suffering." "Who the fuck are you, man?" "Excellent question." "Who the fuck am I?" "Poor Steve has worked here for seven years." "He's never had a meeting with me before or passed me in the hall, or told me a story in the break room." "That's because I don't work here." "I work for another company that lends me out to pussies like Steve's boss who don't have the balls to sack their own employees, in some cases for good reason." "People do crazy shit when they get fired." "Did I do something wrong?" "I mean, is there something I could do differently here?" "This is not an assessment of your productivity." "Don't take this personally." "Don't take it personally." "Steven, I want you to review this packet." "Take it seriously." "I think you're gonna find a lot of good answers in here." "I'm sure this is gonna be very helpful - a packet." "Thank you..." "A packet." "Well, anybody who ever built an empire or changed the world sat where you are right now." "And it's because they sat there they were able to do it." "That's the truth." "I'm gonna need your keycard." "Great." "OK." "Now, I want you to take the day, go get together your personal things, then tomorrow you get yourself some exercise." "You go out for a jog, you give yourself some routines and pretty soon you find your legs." "How do I get in touch with you?" " Don't worry, we'll be in touch soon." "This is just the beginning." "I'll never see Steve again." "To know me is to fly with me." "This is where I live." "When I run my card, the system automatically prompts the desk clerk to greet me with this exact statement:" "Pleasure to see you again, Mr Bingham." "It's these kinds of systemised friendly touches that keep my world in orbit." "All the things you probably hate about travelling - the recycled air, the artificial lighting, the digital juice dispensers, the cheap sushi - are warm reminders that I'm home." "Do you want the cancer?" "The what?" " Do you want the cancer?" "The cancer?" "The can...sir?" " Oh, no." "I'm fine, thank you." "How much does your life weigh?" "Imagine for a second that you're carrying a backpack." "I want you to feel the straps on your shoulders." "Feel 'em?" "Now I want you to pack it with all the stuff that you have in your life." "Start with the little things, the things on shelves and in drawers the knick-knacks, the collectibles." "Feel the weight as that adds up." "Then you start adding larger stuff - clothes, table-top appliances, lamps, linens... your TV..." "The backpack should be getting pretty heavy now." "And you go bigger." "Your couch, bed, your kitchen table." "Stuff it all in there." "Your car, get it in there." "Your home, whether it's a studio apartment or a two-bedroomed house." "I want you to stuff it all into that backpack." "Now try to walk." "It's kind of hard, isn't it?" "This is what we do to ourselves on a daily basis" "We weigh ourselves down until we can't even move." "And make no mistake... moving is living." "Now, I'm gonna set that backpack on fire." "What do you want to take out of it?" "Photos?" "Photos are for people who can't remember." "Drink some ginkgo and let the photos burn." "In fact, let everything burn and imagine waking up tomorrow with nothing." "It's kind of exhilarating, isn't it?" "Welcome back, Mr Bingham." "Ryan Bingham's office." " You have me in a Dodge Stratus in Kansas City." "They were out of all full-size sedans." " Did you try..." "Yes, I reminded them of your remarkable No.1 Gold Club status in years in the program." "They are literally moving mountains to see you in a Sebring." "Fair enough." "Any other messages?" " Er...your sister Kara called." "Needs to speak urgently about your sister's wedding." "I told her you were mid-air, and not even I knew your destination." "Well done." " You got an invitation to speak at GoalQuest in Vegas." "GoalQuest 20?" "Every once in a while, I do speaking engagements, motivational stuff." "But GoalQuest?" "We're talking major Tony Robbins shit." "It's got a hologram on it." "They're calling it Dos Equis." "All right, I'll check in." " I've got Craig Gregory for you." "Wait...ah." "Fuck." "How is my little road warrior?" "Hey, 20 minutes from boarding into a world of bliss." "Real good numbers out of Phoenix, Ry guy." "You know that Big Auto is about to cut another 10K by the end of the month?" "No kidding." " Christmas came early." "I wish you could be in five places, but I need you here in Omaha this week." "Alright?" "I thought you needed me everywhere." " We got something real big, a real game changer." "What are we talking about here?" "You'll see." "Today I took my first crap in two weeks - hallelujah." "That's me hanging up on you." " Great, love that sound." "Are you satisfied with Maestro?" "Yeah, I am." "A little stingy with their miles." "I like Hertz." "No, Hertz keeps its vehicles too long." "If a car has over 20,000 miles, I won't drive it." "Maestro doesn't instant checkout." "I like the park-and-go." "Hertz doesn't guarantee navigation." " You don't seem like a girl who needs directions." "I hate asking for directions." " That's why I get a nav." "That new outfit, Colonial, isn't bad." "Is that a joke?" " Yes." "Their kiosk placement blows." " They never have available upgrades." "Basically, it's a fleet of shit boxes." "I don't know how they're still in business." "I'm Ryan." " I'm Alex." "Aww..." "Maplewood card." "How dare you bring that into this palace?" "Hilton offers equal value and better food but the Maplewood gives out warm cookies at check-in." "I'm a sucker for simulated hospitality." "There's an industry term for that." "It's a mixture of faux and homey - faumey." "Oh, my God." "I wasn't sure this actually existed." "This is the American Airlines..." " It's a Concierge Key, yeah." "What is that, carbon fibre?" " Graphite." "Oh, I love the weight." " I was pretty excited the day that bad boy came in." "I'll say." "I put up pretty pedestrian numbers." "60 thou a year, domestic." "That's not bad." " Don't patronise me." "What's your total?" " It's a personal question." "Pleace." " And we hardly know each other." "Show some hubris." "Come on, impress me." "I bet it's huge." " You have no idea." "How big?" "What is it, this big?" "This big?" " I don't want to brag." "Oh, come on!" "Come on." "Let's just say I have a number in mind." "I haven't hit it yet." "This is pretty fucking sexy." " Hope it doesn't cheapen our relationship." "We're two people who get turned on by Elite Status." "I think cheap is our starting point." "There's nothing cheap about loyalty." "We came up with this master plan, which was for me to put gauze, to put bandages on both my hands." "Then we got on the plane, transatlantic, flying to erm..." "Zurich." "I waited till it was dark, and I walked up to the bathroom with her." "Everybody was watching the movie and I was like..." "Opened up, went inside." "She opened the door for me, and came in like she was gonna help me." "We gave it our best shot." "It wasn't great." "But it was fun." "It was tricky." "Give me some details." " It's not so easy." "Have you tried it?" "It's not so easy." " Yes, I have." "Really?" " Really." "You've done that?" " I have done that." "On a transatlantic flight?" " On a domestic flight - regional, actually." "At night-time?" " Daytime." "What?" " How do you do that?" "Oh, I'm really flexible." "Look." "Ohh." "Ah, I should throw these out." "We can always use that room with the ice machine." "Look." "Good call on that towel rack." "I like how you burritoed me in the sofa cushions." "I was improvising." "Shame we didn't make it to the closet." "We got to do this again." " Oh, yeah." "I'm in Newark on the 12th, Modesto on the 13th..." "Oklahoma City on the 15th..." "Any Southwest?" "I'll be swinging by Albuquerque week of the 16th." "No, I'm in Florida on the 20th." " Fort Lauderdale?" "Miami." " That's nothing. - 40 minutes." "I should probably go back to my room so I can wake up in my bed." "I think that would be the ladylike thing to do." "Nice meeting you." " A pleasure." "Hello?" "Hey, Ryan, how you holding up?" "Every family has one person who keeps the genealogy in check." "That's my sister Kara - the glue." "Fine." "You and the kids?" "Missy's outstanding, Matthew made varsity." "How's the road?" "Couldn't be better." "Good." "So, Ryan?" "Yeah?" "I didn't even want to ask you this, because I know how you are about doing things for others." "But we're coming up on three weeks to go to Julie's wedding and we could really use your help." "Yeah?" "We've been sending people these kits, so they can print out photos of Julie and Jim on cardbord, and then take photos of them in interesting places, like that gnome in the French movie." "Why?" "Because it's Julie's wedding and she thinks it would be fun." "Does it matter why?" "How is Julie?" "Would you call her." "She thinks you've turned to butter." "You're awfully isolated how you live." " Isolated?" "I'm surrounded." "So your assistant said you were gonna be in Vegas." "Did he?" "Can you get a photo of the cut-out in front of the Luxor pyramid?" "The place is a shithole." "Nobody stays there." "Jesus, Ryan, I'm not asking you to check in." "Can you just take a stupid photo?" "I'll try my best." "Thank you for trying your best." "Last year, I spent 322 days on the road, which means I had to spend 43 miserable days at home." "Hey, neighbour." "I signed for this while you were gone." " Oh, thanks." "I hope it wasn't too much of a bother." " Nah." "It's my sister." "I haven't met the guy yet." "They're getting married." "Lots of luck." " I know, right?" "What are you doing tonight?" "You wanna come over later?" "Um..." "I've started seeing somebody." "Oh." "OK." "Great." "Hey, it's good to see you." "You too." " It seems like it's been a while this time." "I'm thrilled that everyone's back under one roof." "Welcome home, boy's." "There's been a lot of whispering about why we're here, so let me jump right in." "Retailers are down 20%." "Auto industry is in the dump." "Housing market doesn't have a heartbeat." "It is one of the worst times on record for America." "This is our moment." "Now, last summer, we received a dynamite young woman here from Cornell." "And she had some pretty big ideas that she challenged me with." "My first reaction was, "Who does this kid think she is?"" "But after I gave it a listen, she really knocked me out." "So..." "With a peek into our future, Natalie Keener." "If there's one word I want to leave you with today, it's this." "Glocal?" "Glocal." "Our global must become local." "This company keeps 23 people on the road at least 250 days a year." "It's expensive and it's inefficient" "When I came to Craig three months ago with this, he told me, and quite astutely, it's only a problem if you have a solution." "Well, today I stand before you with just that." "You all know Ned in reception." "Today I'm gonna fire Ned." "Sorry, Ned." "I'm sure HR will hire you back this afternoon." "We'll see about that." "Ned could be any employee in any one of our clients' locations worldwide." "Strategy packets will be shipped in advance." "Ned will be given a seat and find one of our transition specialists waiting." "Mr Laskin, we're having this conversation as your position is no longer available." "I don't understand." "I'm fired?" "Hearing the words "You've been let go" is never easy." "Change is scary, but consider the following:" "anybody who ever built an empire or changed the world sat where you are now." "And it's because they sat there that they were able to do it." "That's my fucking line." "But what happens now?" "This is the first step of a process that ends with you in a job that fulfils you." "Yeah, but how does it work?" "Take the packet in front of you." "Review it - all the answers you're looking for are inside." "Fill out the necessary information and you're on the way to new opportunities." "Ned, go back to your desk and start putting together your things." "As a favour to me, I'd appreciate it if you didn't spread the news just yet." "Panic doesn't help anyone." "I understand." "Give it up for Ned." "You can start the morning in Boston, stop in Dallas over lunch, and finish the day in San Francisco." "All for the price of a T1 line." "Our inflated travel budget is eviscerated by 85%." "And more importantly, to you guys on the road, no more Christmases in a hotel in Tulsa, no more hours lost to weather delays." "You get to come home." "Tell me you're not taking this seriously." "That's why I brought the entire company in from the road, because we're not taking it seriously." "There is a methodology to what I do, a reason it works." "Coke and IBM have been doing this for years." "Familiar with them?" "Like anything else, it'll take a few months of transition and everybody will settle in." "Who are you taking off the road?" " How are you not getting this?" "You are grouned." "Everybody's grounded." "It's done." "What we do here is brutal and it does leave people devastated." "But there is a dignity to the way I do it." "By stabbing them in the chest instead of the back, right?" "You wanted to see me?" " Well, uhm..." "You know what?" "Yeah, come on in." " Great job out there." "Thank you." "How's everyone taking it?" " Great." "Listen, I admire your...zeal." "And I think you have some very good ideas." "But you know nothing about the realities of my industry." "You can set up an iChat, but you don't know how people think." "I minored in psychology." " Nice." "OK, kiddo, fire me." " Ryan..." "If she's gonna do this regularly, don't you wanna know if she can fire people?" "She's fired Ned." " My dog can fire Ned." "Fire me." "You don't need to do this." " No, it's OK." "I got this." "Mr Bingham," "I regret to inform you that your position at this company is no longer available." "Hm." "Who the hell are you?" "My name is Miss Keener." "I'm here today to discuss your future." "My future?" "The only one who can fire me is Craig Gregory." "He hired me to handle this for him." " Handle what?" "Handle Me?" "Mr. Gregory hired me, he's the only one who can fire me." "Know what?" "I'm gonna go talk to him." " Mr Bingham..." "No, no." "You can't follow me." "You're on a computer screen, remember?" "Ryan.." " Let's try this again." "Fire me again." "I just did." " Actually, you didn't." "Fire me." "That's enough." "We get it." "Mr Bingham, I'm here to inform you your position is no longer available." "I'm fired?" " Yes, you're fired." "Never say fired." " You've been let go." "Why?" "This is a mythical situation." "How could I possibly know why?" "Why doesn't matter, you never know why." "Don't focus on the why." "Rather, spend your energy thinking about your future." "Well, I'm gonna spend my energy on suing you unless you give me a good reason why you're firing me." "Mr. Bingham, the reason's not important." "You're firing me without grounds?" "I have a lawsuit." "I get what you're trying to say, Ryan." " Don't take this personally, Mr. Bingham." "Personally?" "This is the most personal situation you are ever gonna enter, so before you try to revolutionise my business," "I'd like to know that you actually know my business." "That's a hell of a way to welcome her to the team." "Am I the only one that sees that by doing this we're making ourselves irrelevant?" "No, frankly, we're making you irrelevant." "Nice." " Don't blame me." "Blame high fuel costs, blame insurance premiums, blame technology." "Watch it." "You're a little too young to become a dinosaur." "I'm not a dinosaur." " I want you to show her the ropes." "What do I know what goes on here?" "Get Ferguson to do it." "I'm not talking about here." "No." " Yeah." "You're very confident this girl doesn't know what she's doing." "So..." "I'm sorry." "I don't think a MySpace page qualifies you to rewire a company." "Here's your chance." "Go out, show her the magic, take her through the paces." "I'm not a fucking tour guide." "Now here we go." " Bingham, here's the boat." "And here's you., Do you want to be in the boat?" "Yeah, alone." "We're ringing the bell, we're rounding everybody up." "You want to stay out a bit longer, you're welcome, but you will not be alone." "Oké?" "You let me know." "Oh, Christ." "What?" " Follow me." "I really like my luggage." "That's exactly what it is - luggage." "Know how much time you lose checking in?" "I don't know." "Five...10 minutes?" " 35 minutes a flight." "I travel 270 days a year." "That's 157 hours." "That makes seven days." "Willing to throw away an entire week on that?" "You don't need this." "Sorry, you don't need that." "You don't need that." "They have neck pillows on the plane." "This - they have better ones there." "I'll get rid of this." "I can just meet you at security." "Thank you." "Bingo" " Asians." "You can't be serious." " Never get behind people with infants." "I've never seen a stroller collapse in less than 20 minutes." "Old people are worse." "They're littered with hidden metal and they never appreciate how little time they have left on earth." "Five words: randomly selected for additional screening." "Asians, they pack light, travel efficiently, and they've got a thing for slip-on shoes." "That's racist." " I'm like my mother, I stereotype." "It's faster." "What in your backpack?" "Ryan Bigham." "Are you mad at your computer?" "I type with purpose." "What is it that you're working on so furiously?" "I'm building a workflow of firing techniques." "It's questions and responses, actions and reactions." "A script taking you through the steps of firing someone." "Who's it for?" "Well, theoretically, you could put it in the hands of anyone and they'd be downsizing immediately." "All you have to do is follow the steps." "Natalie, what is it you think we do here?" "We prepare the newly-unemployed for the emotional and physical hurdles of job hunting, while minimising legal blowback." "That's what we're selling." "It's not what we're doing." "OK, what are we doing?" " We are here to make limbo tolerable, to ferry wounded souls across the river of dread until the point where hope is dimly visible." "Then stop the boat, shove 'em in the water and make 'em swim." "That's really impressive." "Are you gonna put that in your book?" "I gotta grab this." "I'll meet you at the car rental." "Hey, I was hoping I'd hear from you." "I'm in Hotlanta and I need a rib-joint recommend bad." "Fat Matt's." "Bring a bib." "You never called." " I wasn't sure what was appropriate." "Appropriate?" "I'm not some waitress you banged in a snowstorm." "That word has no place in our vocabulary." "I'm the woman that you don't have to worry about." "Sounds like a trap." " Listen... the next time that you're worried about manners, don't." "If you wanna call, call." "Just think of me as yourself, only with a vagina." "When am I gonna see you?" "Well, I'm out of Hartsfield into IAD, with a connection in ORD into SDF." "Sorry." "Yeah, tell me about it." "How long's your layover?" "They got multiples into SDF." "Could you push?" "Yeah, I can push." "All you have to do today is watch and listen." "And when I talk about a strategy packet, hand them one of those." "Sounds great." "So although I wish I were here with better news, the fact is that you and I are sitting here today because this will be your last week of employment at this company." "Why me?" " What am I supposed to do now?" "Am I supposed to feel better I'm not the only one losing my job?" "This is ridiculous!" "I have been a fine employee for over 10 years and this is the way you treat me." "How do you sleep at night, man?" "How?" "How's your family?" "They sleeping well at night?" "Electricity still on?" "Heat still on, refrigerator full of food?" "Gas tank full of gas?" "Going to Chuck E. Cheese this weekend or something?" "Not me." "No, my kids, we're not gonna do anything." "What do you suggest I tell them?" "Perhaps you're underestimating the positive effect your career transition can have on your children." "The positive effect?" "I make about 90 grand a year now." "Unemployment is what - 250 bucks a week?" "Is that one of your positive effects?" "We'll get to be cosier cos I'm not gonna be able to pay my mortgage on my house." "So maybe we can move into a nice fucking one-bedroom apartment somewhere." "And I guess without benefits," "I'll be able to hold my daughter as she, you know, suffers from her asthma that I won't be able to afford the medication for." "Well...tests have shown that children under moderate trauma have a tendency to apply themselves academically... ..as a method of coping." "Go fuck yourself." "That's what my kids'll think." "Your children's admiration is important to you?" " Yeah." "Yeah, it was." "Well, I doubt they ever admired you, Bob." "Hey, asshole, aren't you supposed to be consoling me?" "I'm not a shrink, Bob." "I'm a wake-up call." "You know why kids love athletes?" " Cos they screw lingerie models?" "No, that's why we love athletes." "Kids love athletes because they follow their dreams." "Well, I can't dunk." " No, but you can cook." "What are you talking about?" "Your résumé says that you minored in French culinary arts." "Most students, they work on the fryer at KFC, but you bussed tables at Il Picador to support yourself." "Then you get out of college and then you come and work here." "How much did they first pay you to give up on your dreams?" "27 grand a year." " And when were you going to stop and come back and do what makes you happy?" "Good question." "I see guys who work at the same company for their entire lives, guys exactly like you." "They clock in, they clock out, and they never have a moment of happiness." "You have an opportunity here, Bob." "This is a rebirth." "If not for you, do it for your children." "He just waltzes in and cuts in line?" "We reserve priority assistance for our Hilton Honors members." "The promotions are great." "You should check it out." "Hungry much?" "Our business expense allots $40 each for dinner." "I plan on grabbing as many miles as I can." "OK, you gotta fill me in on the miles thing." "What is that about?" "Are you talking about..." "like frequent flyer miles?" "You really want to know?" " I'm dying to know." "I don't spend a nickel if I can help it unless it somehow profits my mileage account." "So what are you saving up for - Hawaii, South of France?" "It's not like that." "The miles are the goal." "That's it?" "You're saving just to save?" "Just say I have a number in mind and I haven't hit it yet." "That's a little abstract." "What's the target?" "I'd rather not." " Is it a secret target?" "It's 10 million miles." "OK." "Isn't 10 million just a number?" " Pi's just a number." "Well, we all need a hobby." "No, I..." "I don't mean to belittle your collection." "I get it." "It sounds cool." "I'd be the seventh person to do it." "More people have walked on the moon." "Do they throw you a parade?" " You get lifetime executive status, you get to meet the chief pilot, Maynard Finch..." "And they put your name on a plane." "Men get hard-ons putting their name on stuff." "You guy;s dont grow up." "It's like you need to pee on everything." " Now who's stereotyping?" "Fear of mortality." "It's like, yeah, you're gonna die one day." "Why is that singular to men?" "Probably because you can't have babies." " The baby argument." "If I had that many miles..." "I would show up at an airport, look at the destination board, pick a place and go." "Can't fall asleep." "Me too just laying here" "You should rub one out." "Thank you for the advice." "Only fair if you do too" "Way ahead of you." "Call me next tim so I can listen" "Have sweet dreams about me." "OK." "Closer." "Way closer." "Still closer." "Closer." "Er...a little left." "Down a little." "Too far." "Up." "Up one more inch." "I don't get it." "Why does your sister want a fake photo?" "My sister is kooky." "She thinks this is charming." "It's like the gnome thing." "No, I mean, why would she want a fake photo in front of St Louis airport?" "Are you kidding" " Lambert Field?" "The Wright brothers flew through there." "That domed main terminal, is the first of its kind, a precursor of everything from JFK to de Gaulle." "Pretty sweet." " Just take the picture." "Well, that's a keeper." "Let me see it." "Why she wants reminders of all the places she hasn't been is beyond me." "I'm sure she'll be crushed for having missed this airport." "Before Lindbergh crossed the Atlantic, he took off from that runway." "Wonder why they called it the Spirit of St Louis?" "No." " Well..." "Do you know how fucked this place is now?" "I am the one thing - the one thing- preventing this place from being totally fucked in the ass." "Sometimes they just need to vent." "Please, for the love of God, can I fire the next one?" "Miss Barnes, thank you for joining us." " I'm here to be fired, right?" "Well, we're here to talk about your future." "You don't have to sugar-coat it." "I get the drill." "What are they offering?" "Inside the packet, you'll find a clearly worked out severance package." "Give me the bullet points." "It's actually pretty good - three months' pay, six months' medical." "And a full year of placement services through our CTC." "Placement services." "That's generous." "Commonly it takes a month of searching for every $10,000 you expect to earn in salary." "So I could be looking for a while." " Not necessarily." "Don't even sweat it." "I'm pretty confident about my plans." "Really?" " Yeah." "There's this beautiful bridge by my house." "I'm gonna go jump off it." "Natalie." "Hey!" "Natalie!" "People say these things all the time." "It's part of the trade." "They do?" " Yeah." "They say crazy things." "They get worked up." "She was really calm." "I think that's a good sign." "So they don't ever actually do it?" " No." "No, it's just talk." "How do you know?" "Do you follow up?" " No, nothing good's gonna come of that, but.." "I wouldn't worry about it." "This is what we do, Natalie." "We take people at their most fragile and we set them adrift." "Ready to go back in?" "All right, let's go." "Come on." "No, I'm fine." "Tell me something sweet." "I'll be back soon." "I'm not sure how long this exercise is supposed to last." "No, I don't even think of him that way." "He's old." "I" " I'm done?" " I wasn't expecting this." "Not at all." "Just like that?" "I'm disappointed that I've given so much of my life..." "This is not fair." "There are people way more qualified than me now." "I don't know what to do when I wake up tomorrow." "You OK?" "Are we going?" " Yeah." "This is how I start every day of my life." "Now, this is gonna be a little difficult, so stay with me." "You have a new backpack." "Only this time, I want you to fill it with people." "Start with casual acquaintances, friends of friends, folks around the office." "And then the people you trust with your most intimate secrets - your cousins, your aunts, your uncles, your brothers, your sisters, your parents, and finally your husband, your wife, your boyfriend or your girlfriend." "You get them into that backpack." "Don't worry." "I'm not gonna ask you to light it on fire." "Feel the weight of that bag." "Make no mistake, your relationships are the heaviest components in your life." "Do you feel the straps cutting into your shoulders?" "All those negotiations and arguments, and secrets and compromises." "You don't need to carry all that weight." "Why don't you set that bag down?" "Some animals were meant to carry each other, to live symbiotically for a lifetime - star-crossed lovers, monogamous swans." "We are not those animals." "The slower we move, the faster we die." "We are not swans." "We're sharks." "Never?" " No." "Ever?" " No." "You never want to get married?" " Nope." "Never want kids?" " Not a chance." "Ever?" " Never." "Is that so bizarre?" " Yes." "Yes, it is." " I just don't see the value in it." "Right, sell it to me." " What?" "Sell me marriage." "OK, how about love?" " OK." "Stability, just somebody you can count on..." " How many stable marriages do you know?" "Somebody to talk to, someone to spend your life with." "I'm surrounded by people to talk to." "That won't change." "How about just not dying alone?" "Starting when I was 12, we moved each of my grandparents to a nursing facility." "My parents went the same way." "Make no mistake, we all die alone." "Now, those cult members in San Diego, with the Kool-Aid and the sneakers... they didn't die alone." "I'm just saying there are options." "Oh, fuck." "Brian left me." "All right." "OK." "Ok." "All right." "All right." "Shh, shh." "Natalie, this is Alex, my friend." "This is Natalie." "I should give you both a moment." "No." "No, that's fine." "I'm fine." "It's a pleasure to meet you." "Maybe we should just all go up to our rooms and freshen up." "Maybe a drink?" " Now you're talking." "Brian:" "I think it's time we C othter people" "He broke up with you with a text message?" "Kind of like firing someone over the internet." "What a weaselly prick." " But what does that make me?" "Someone who falls for a prick." " We all fall for them." "Pricks are spontaneous, unpredictable and fun." "Then we're surprised when they turn out to be pricks." "I followed him to Omaha." " You did?" "I had a job waiting for me in San Francisco when he got an offer from ConAgra." "He said we could start a life together." "So I followed him." " To Nebraska?" "I thought I'd be engaged by now." "No offence." "None taken." " That's all right." "When I was 16, I thought by 23 I'd be married, maybe have a kid, corner office by day, entertaining at night." "I was supposed to be driving a Grand Cherokee by now." "Life can underwhelm you that way." "I mean, where did you think you'd be by um..." "It doesn't work that way." " At a certain point, you stop with the deadlines." "It can be counterproductive." "I don't want to say anything anti-feminist." "I really appreciate all your generation did for me." "It was our pleasure." " Well done." "But sometimes it feels like, no matter how much success I have, it's not gonna matter until I find the right guy." "You really thought this guy was the one?" "I could have made it work." "He um..." "He really fit the bill." "You know?" " The bill?" "White collar, college grad." "Loves dogs, likes funny movies." "Six-foot-one, brown hair, kind eyes, works in finance but is outdoorsy..." "you know, on the weekends." "I always imagined he'd have a single syllable name like Matt or John... or Dave." "In a perfect world, he drives a 4Runner, and and the only thing he loves more than me is his golden lab." "And a nice smile." "What about you?" " Let me think." "Honestly, by the time you're 34, all the physical requirements go out the window." "Like you secretly pray that he'll be taller than you." "Not an asshole would be nice." "Someone who enjoys my company, comes from a good family." "You don't think about that when you're younger." "I don't know..." "someone who wants kids." "Likes kids." "Wants kids" "Healthy enough to play with his kids." "Please let him earn more money than I do." "You might not understand that now, but believe me, you will one day." "Otherwise that's a recipe for disaster." "And hopefully some hair on his head." "But I mean even that's not a deal breaker these days." "A nice smile." "Yeah, a nice smile." "Nice smile just might do it." "Wow, that was depressing." "I should just date women." " Tried it." "We're no picnic ourselves." "I don't mind being married to my career." "And I don't expect it to hold me in bed as I fall asleep." "I just don't want to settle." "You're young." "Right now you see settling as some sort of a failure." "It is...by definition." "But by the time someone is right for you, it won't feel like settling." "And the only person left to judge you will be the 23-year-old girl with a target on your back." "So what's the plan for the evening?" "Well, we were gonna hit that party for the tech conference at the hotel." "I didn't know you could just attend those." "I thought you had to register." "Technically, I don't think it's open to the public." "Stop by." " You're gonna crash it?" "have a good time, usually." " No, no, I get it." "I'm in." "Jennifer Chu?" "Shit!" " Ah, it'll be fine." "Doing all right?" "Yeah." "This was a great idea." "You're so pretty." "You're exactly what I wanna look like in 15 years." "Thank you, Natalie." " You should dance." "Come on." " No, no, no." "Come on." " Oh!" "I'm Dave." " I'm Natalie." "Who's Jennifer?" "I don't know." "How's everybody doing out there?" "Right about now, give it up for a very special alphaTECH guest." "Young MC!" "What's up, alphaTECH?" "I got a busted computer." "Can somebody fix it for me?" "I want you to have a key to my place." "Wow." "I had no idea we were at that point in our relationship." "Oh, yes." " Wow." "Where is she?" "Back home I don't get to act the way I do with you." "That's why I don't have a back home." " I know." "You're so cool." "Mr Empty Backpack." "You know about my backpack?" " I Googled you." "You did?" "It's what us modern girls do when we have a crush." "Does it bother you?" " It depends." "Is the bag empty because you hate people or because you hate the baggage they come along with?" "I don't hate people." "I'm not exactly a hermit." "You just don't want to be tied down with the whole responsibility thing." "I don't know what originally sparked the backpack." "Probably needed to be alone." "Recently, I've been thinking that I needed to empty the backpack before I know what to put back in it." "Oh, no!" " I think we're out of gas." "Hey." "You're up?" "I have to fly standby and make a meeting in Cincinnati." "I made you feel cheap." "It's all right." "Just leave the money on the dresser." "I'll text you later so we can swap schedules." "I really like you." "I like you too." " Good." "Go catch your plane." "Last night er..." "It was kind of out of hand." "I said things erm..." "I'm not actually sure everything that I said." "But I didn't want you to think..." " Just relax." "It was nice to see you cut loose." "Did you wake him up or slip out?" "What?" " This morning." "Your new friend." "Did you wake him up for an awkward goodbye, or did you just slip out and make him feel like a whore?" "I just left." " Protocol's always tricky." "What happened to Alex?" "She had to leave town early to get to a meeting." "That's too bad." "Where's she live?" " Chicago." "Thinking of going to see her?" "We don't really have that kind of relationship." "Try it over there." "What erm..." "kind of relationship do you have?" "Well, you know...casual." "Sounds pretty special." " It works for us." "Don't you think there's a future there?" "I never thought about it." "What's going on?" "Really never thought about it?" " No." "How can you not think about that?" "How does it not cross your mind you might want a future with someone?" "It's simple." "You know that moment when you look into somebody's eyes and you can feel them staring into your soul and the whole world goes quiet just for a second?" "Yes." " Right." "Well, I don't." "You're an asshole." "I'm just dicking around." "Give me a hand." " Shouldn't you give her a chance?" "A chance for what?" " A chance at something real." "Natalie, your definition of real will evolve as you get older." "Can you stop condescending for one second or is it a principle of your bullshit philosophy?" "Bullshit philosophy?" " The isolation, the travelling." "Is that supposed to be charming?" " No, it's a life choice." "It's a cocoon of self-banishment." " Wow." "Big words." "Screw you." " Screw you, too." "You have set up a way of life that makes it impossible for you to have any human connection." "And this woman comes along and runs the gauntlet of your life choice, and comes out on the other end smiling just so you can call her "casual"?" "I need to grow up?" "You're a 12-year-old." "I don't have a gauntlet..." "Fuck." "Listen, these Detroit guys can be tough." "They're getting hammered." "Don't get distracted." "Stick with the simple stuff." "Get these packets in their hands and get them out the door, OK?" "Hey, welcome to Detroit." "What's going on here?" "I've been looking at those great numbers." "I thought we should nut up and give this a try." "We could use a little more time." "You gotta leave the nest at some point, huh?" "This a real company, Craig." "We're here to do some damage." "I know." "It's a good thing we brought our best." "Let's stop screwing around." "Just give me a minute to prepare and get my things together." "I thought Natalie was going to take this one." "She's hardly ready for that." "I've watched her results the last few days." "She's great." "This is a whole other animal." "You know, she created it, right?" "Natalie, are you not up for it?" "Yeah, I'm game." "That's my girl." "Just remember, don't apologise or tell them how hard this is for you." "Today's one of the worst days they're ever gonna have." "How we feel doesn't even compare." "Got it." " Keep it professional." "You'll be fine." "What's all this?" "What's going on?" "Hello, Mr Samuels." "I wish I were here with better news." "However, your position here is no longer available." "What are you talking about?" "You've been let go." "Just like that?" "Who are you?" "My name is Miss Keener and I'm here today to talk about your options." "I worked for this company for 17 years and they send a 4th-grader to can me?" "What the fuck is this?" "It's perfectly normal to be upset." "However, the sooner you can tell yourself greater opportunities..." "Greater opportunities?" "I'm 57 fucking years old." "Anybody who ever built an empire or changed the world sat where you are now." "And it's because they sat there that they were able to do it." "There's a packet in front of you." "I want you to take some time and review it." "All the answers you're looking for are inside those pages." "The sooner you trust the process, the sooner the next step of your life will unveil itself." "I need you to go back to your office and put together your personal things." "Mr Samuels, that's all we can discuss now." "Mr Samuels." "Mr Samuels." "Mr Samuels!" "You did good." "You OK?" "You want me to take over?" "No, I'm all right." "Look, we just got here." "That's one place." "We need to try a few more." "Maybe it makes no difference, but it's comforting to know we're in the next room." "I know you don't give a shit about my comfort." "I think we could try a few more, that's all I'm saying." "Fine." "All right." "OK." "All right." "He thought you did a great job." "You did." "I'm real proud of you." " Thanks." "They're pulling us off the road." "We're going home." "Really?" "For good" " Yeah." "Good job." "We request the pleasure of your company at the wedding of Julie Bingham and James Arthur Miller" "I'm sorry about what I said about Alex." "That was out of line." "It's all right." "I understand." "I mean, who am I to be doling out relationship advice, right?" "No kidding." "Are you gonna be OK?" "What do you mean?" " In Omaha?" "I don't know." "It's better than you'd think." "Ryan." "Ryan." "Where are you going?" " I'm grabbing another flight." "Something I've got to take care of." "I'll see you back at home." "OK, walk it in a little." "A little more." "There you go." "Yeah." "Got it." "They're a cute couple." "You think so?" " Yeah, they'll make cute kids." "How do you like Wisconsin in February?" "I like it if you're there." "I know a killer burger in Milwaukee." "Northern Wisconsin." "What are you doing this weekend?" "No." " What, I haven't..." "You want me to be your date?" " Yeah." "Yeah." "At your sister's wedding?" " It's not like I know her that well." "Look, I'm not the wedding type, right?" "But for the first time in my life I don't want to be that guy alone at a bar." "I want a dance partner, I want a "plus one"." "And if you can stomach it, I'd like it to be you." "Excuse me." "Are you available?" "This line's for members of our Matterhorn Programme." "Hey..." "Ryan." "Hey." " Kara." "Hi." "Alex, this is my sister Kara." " Hi." "Well, hello." "Ryan's told me nothing about you." "So you two are dating?" "Not exactly." " Well, don't worry about it." "We're all getting a little old to be calling someone girlfriend." "I remember when Mom used to call Jack her boyfriend." "Drove me up the wall." "Boyfriends are for kids, right?" "So what are you doing at the hotel?" "Yeah, OK, er..." "Frank and I are trying out a trial separation." "I'm sorry." "So you're not at the house?" " No, there was a room on hold here, so I thought I'd take it for the weekend." "So the rehearsal dinner?" " Yeah, tonight." "I'll see you there." "Nice digs." "There's a packet." "Hey, look who's here." "Oh, my God!" "Oh, my God!" "Ryan!" " Hey." "Oh, you must be Alex." " Yes, I am." "Hi." "How are you?" "You are so beautiful." "Kara was right." "Gosh." "You look so grown-up." "I do?" "You're the one that's getting married." "Oh, I know, right?" "Oh." "You haven't even seen my ring." "Oh, look at that." " Oh, it's lovely." "Jim designed it." "Hey, Jim." "Hey." " How's it going?" "Hey." "I'm Ryan." " Jim." "Good to meet you." "Alex." "Pleasure." " Pleasure." "Thank you, guys, for coming." "Brother!" "It's true, though." " Yeah, it's crazy." "I got the pictures you asked me to get." " You can just put them right there." "Yeah, OK." "You got so many up there, I almost didn't have room." "I know." "It's so great, everyone just chipped in." "What gave you the idea to do something so..." "Substantial." " Well..." "Jim has a lot of our nest egg invested in this real estate venture." "Mm-hm." "It's a real estate investment." "It's exciting, but we went over our finances and..." "A honeymoon at this state in the game doesn't really seem affordable." "So, you know, we just thought, just because we can't travel doesn't mean we can't have pictures." "I think that's a fabulous idea." " Yeah, it's a good one." "The concept is turnkey everything." "You buy a maintenance contract when you get the home." "We'll whack your weeds, change your light bulbs." "Furniture - you can bring your own or pick one of our packages." "Seamless traditionalism, yet all the perks." " Nice." "We all need a place to call our own." "This is America." "This is what we were promised." "It's a nice touch." " What?" "The bit at the end about the promise." "I like that part." "Oh, thanks." "You er...you still renting that one-bedroom?" " No." "I gave it up." "So you own now?" " No." "But you're looking?" "No, not really." "So you're just good?" "I'm good." " Well, that's good." "Can you believe it's tomorrow?" "How are you gonna sleep?" "I don't know." "Well, do you want some Xanax?" " I don't think that's for sleeping." "Yeah." "No, I think I'll just have a glass of warm milk." "That'll do the trick." " OK." "See you tomorrow." "There's another box inside." "I'll grab it." " You sure?" "Yeah, yeah, yeah." "Jim seems like a good guy." " Yeah, isn't he great?" "He's going to make a great husband." "You know, Julie, I was thinking, you know, with Dad not being here, erm..." "I was wondering if you had anybody to walk you down the aisle." "No, Jim's uncle is gonna do it." " He's been really supportive." "He's been great." "Well, good." "That's great." "I just wanted to make sure that you..." "I wanted you to be covered, that's all." "So, I should be there, what?" "The other guests are arriving around five and things get going at five-thirty so... around then." " OK." "Oh." "Let me..." "I'm gonna help you with those." "Got it." "It's OK." "It's OK, it's OK." "None of that was here." "This is all new." "Really?" "Is that all you got?" " What?" "Give me a boost." "Watch..." "Hang on." "I took Geography in here." "You ever fool around with one of your teachers?" "No." "Did you?" " No." "Not until college." "That's me on the right." "It's kinda hard to tell." " You can tell by the eyebrows." "You played basketball?" " I was a point guard." "Don't act so surprised." "I didn't know you were such a jock." "That's me too." "And that." "My first fight." " How'd it go?" "Got my ass kicked." "This is where we used to go to make out." " Oh, yes." "Yeah." "This is very romantic." "I'm really happy I came here." " So am I." "It's Kara." "Ryan, where are you?" "We're having a meltdown here." "What's going on?" "What happened?" "It's Jim." "Can you get back here?" "We need your help." "OK." "We gotta go." "I'll grab your suit." " Thanks." "What happened?" " Jim's got cold feet." "Today?" " Yeah, that's how cold feet work." "What do you want me to do?" " Talk to him." "You want me to talk to him?" " Hey, it's either you or me." "You know my track record." "I've already struck out once." "I haven't been to bat." "I haven't been in the dugout." "Don't you talk for a living?" "Motivational-type stuff?" "I tell people how to avoid commitment." "It's a philosophy." " It's stupid." "Hey, it could have helped you." " Ryan." "You haven't been around much." "Fuck - basically, you don't exist to us." "I know you wanna be there for her." "Well, here it is." "This is your chance." "Hey." "What's up, Ryan?" "Jim." " You ever read this before?" "Yeah, it's pretty powerful stuff." " I'll say." "Er..." "Kara mentioned that you were having some thoughts." "I don't think I'm going to be able to er..." "to do this." "Why would you say that...today?" "Well, last night I was kinda laying in bed and I couldn't get to sleep." "So I started thinking about the wedding and the ceremony, and about our buying a house and moving in together." "And having a kid, and having another kid and then" "Christmas and Thanksgiving and spring break." "Going to football games, and then all of a sudden they're graduating." "They're getting jobs, getting married." "And, you know, I'm a grandparent." "And then I'm retired." "I'm losing my hair, I'm getting fat." "And then the next thing you know I'm dead." "I'm just, like..." "I can't stop from thinking, what's the point?" "I mean, what is the point?" "The point?" " What am I starting here?" "Jim, it's...marriage." "It's one of the most beautiful things on earth." "It's what people aspire to." "You never got married." " That's true." "I mean, you never even tried." " Well, it's hard to define try." "I don't know, just you seem happier than all my married friends." "Look, Jim, I'm not going to lie to you." "Marriage can be a pain in the ass." "And you're right." "This all is just stuff that leads to your eventual demise." "Yes." " And we're all on running clocks." "And they can't be slowed down or paused." "And...we all end up in the same place." " yeah." "There is no point." " There is no point." "That's what I'm saying." "You know, er..." "I'm not normally the guy you would talk to about stuff like this." "If you think about it... your favourite memories, the most important moments in your life." "Were you alone?" "No, I guess not." "Come to think of it, last night, the night before your wedding when all this shit is swirling around in your head, weren't you guys in separate bedrooms?" "Yeah, Julie went back to the apartment and I was just by myself in the honeymoon suite." "Kinda lonely, huh?" " Yes, it was pretty lonely." "Life's better with company." "Yeah..." " Everybody needs a co-pilot." "That was a nice touch." " Thanks." "So er... what's the mood like out there?" " It's not good." "She's pretty pissed?" " Just upset." "What should I do?" "Go get her." "I'm such a fuck-up." "I love you so much." "Will you be my co-pilot?" "Yes." "Yes." "Welcome home." "OK, this is your stop." "When am I gonna see you?" " You're just gonna have to come visit." "Oh...so settled." "You're not gonna change on me, are you?" " No." "Same guy." "Just one address." "This is your final boarding call for Flight 3972 to Chicago." "Right." "Call me when you get lonely." "I'm lonely." "Some guy sits in a conference room somewhere and our server routes his session to one of our termination engineers." ""Termination engineers"?" "Really?" "I preferred "terminators" but it bumped with Legal." "Can't imagine why." "The workflow takes them through anything from a standard dismissal to a violent aggressor." "What are they doing now, practising?" "Beta testing, role-playing." "We go live at the end of the month." "Kyle, you're running through the events too quickly." "Give them time to acknowledge each statement." "It's a legal thing." "Ryan?" " Mm?" "Oh." "Yeah." "There's more?" "This is ridiculous." "Legal's starting to come hard at me on this term "terminate"..." "Life to the power of you!" "Ladies and gentlemen." "Put your hands together for today's challenge speaker," "Mr Ryan Bingham" "Go get 'em." "Last year I flew 350,000 miles." "The moon is 250." "I want you to imagine for a second that you're carrying a backpack." "I want you to feel the straps on your shoulders" "You feel 'em?" "Now I want you to pack it with all the stuff that you have in your life." "Start with the little things - the things on shelves and in drawers." "Excuse me." "What the fuck are you doing?" "Relax." "We'll have your next guest out in one sec." "Hey, you gotta sign." " OK." "OK, thank you." "Hey, you forgot to give me your Hertz No.1 Gold Card!" "So I was in the neighbourhood." "Hey, honey, who's at the door?" " Just somebody who's lost." "Alex?" "What were you thinking, showing up at my door like that?" "What do you mean?" "I wanted to see you." "I didn't know you had a family." "Why didn't you tell me that?" "Sorry I ruined your evening but you could have screwed things up for me." "That's my family." "That's my real life." "I thought I was a part of your real life." "I thought we signed up for the same thing." "Try and help me understand exactly what it is that you signed up for." "I thought our relationship was perfectly clear." "I mean... you are an escape." "You're a break from our normal lives, you're a... a parenthesis." "I'm a parenthesis?" "I mean..." "what do you want?" "Tell me what you want." "You don't even know what you want." "Ryan, I'm a grown-up, OK?" "So if you would like to see me again, then then give me a call." "OK?" "Ladies and gentlemen, we have a special announcement to make." "Our pilot has just informed me that we are passing over the city of Dubuque, which might not mean much to most of you, but means a lot to one of our flyers today." "Oh, no." " He just hit 10 million miles!" "Congratulations." " Such an amazing accomplishment." "You must be very excited." "Hi, Captain." " Captain." "That seat taken?" "No." "No." "You're the youngest yet to hit 10 mil." "Don't know where you found the time." "Yeah." "I don't know." "Here you go." "Seventh card we've made." "Small club." "We really appreciate your loyalty." "You know how many times I thought about this moment?" "Played out the conversation that you and I would have right here." "Really?" "What did you want to say?" "You know, I don't remember." "That's all right." "It happens to all of us." "So where are you from?" "I'm from here." "Hello, Mr Bingham." "How did you know it was me?" "This is your dedicated line." "We reserve them for our most loyal and appreciated flyers." "I'd like to transfer some of my miles." "Can I open up an account to Jim and Julie Miller?" "Certainly." "How many miles would you like to transfer?" "How many miles does it take to circle the globe?" "We have our round-the-world tickets." "They're 500,000 miles each." "That'd be fine." " Got a second?" "I'll call you back." "What happened to you yesterday?" "I was trying to get hold of you." "I was some personal stuff." "What's going on?" "Do you remember Karen Barnes, part of a 30-person reduction a few weeks back in Wichita?" "Natalie fired her." " Fired dozens of people a day." "I..." "She killed herself - jumped off a bridge." "Fuck." "I need to know if you remember any woman that gave you any signals, depression..." " They're all depressed." "We're firing them." "Hey, I need to ask you this stuff, OK?" " No, I don't remember anything." "You never think that they're..." "You don't remember any woman that gave you any signals?" "Anything at all, Ryan?" " No, nothing stands out." "Is Natalie all right?" " Natalie quit." "She quit?" " Text message." "Fucking nice, right?" "No-one's got any manners any more." "Did she say where she was going?" " No." "She was a little upset." "I should give her a call." "I need you back in the air." "Hey." "Did you hear what I said?" "I thought you'd be thrilled about that." "It's fine." "What about the videoconferencing?" "CTC is going to pause the new media front." "They're gonna give it some more thought." "We are gonna get our workhorses back in the air doing what they do best, OK?" "How long are you sending me out?" "We're gonna let you sail and sail." "You send us a postcard if you ever get there." "So what happened?" "How exactly do you mean?" "You graduated top of your class." "You seemed to have your pick of employment, including here." "Instead you went to Omaha to fire people for a living?" "It's challenging work." " I'll say!" "I can't imagine doing that, day in, day out." "Not in this climate." "I followed a boy." "I guess everybody does that at one point or another." "This guy says I'd be lucky to have you." "To whom it may concern." "I can't even count the number of people I've fired in my lifetime." "So many that I've actually forgotten what it's like to hire somebody." "We've never met, but I know you'd be lucky to have Natalie Keener." "My advice?" "Take her and don't look back." "She'll be the best decision you've made in a long time." "I sure hope he's right." "Well, I don't have a lot of hope, and I really don't know when it's gonna get better." "There's a lot of people unemployed." "And I really don't know when there's gonna be light at the end of the tunnel." "I can't find much to talk about." "Talk about being proud." "I'm proud of my kids." "I think the anger comes from the fact that I just wasn't needed any more." "I would say, you know, uh... without my friends and my family," "I wouldn't have made it." "It would have been a lot tougher if I'd had to make it on my own." "When I wake up in the morning and I look over and I see my wife, that gives me the sense of purpose." "It's not all about the money." "Money can keep you warm." "It pays your heating bills." "It can buy you a blanket." "But it doesn't keep you as warm as when my husband holds me." "Let me get up." "Let me get out." "Let me find something." "So my kids are my purpose." "My family." "Tonight most people will be welcomed home by jumping dogs and squealing kids." "Their spouses will ask about their day and tonight they'll sleep." "The stars will wheel forth from their daytime hiding places." "And one of those lights, slightly brighter than the rest, will be my wing tip passing over." "Translated by United CustomNl releases" "Hi, Jason." "My name is Kevin." "And I recently lost my job." "I wrote this song as sort of a statement about uncertainty and having a certain amount of anxiety about the future." "So maybe you can use it in your movie."