" Henry!" " Jack!" "Somebody's been busy." " What do you think?" " What should I think?" "That the residents of Eureka are gonna have the clearest, most secure cellular, satellite, Wi-Fi communication system in the world." " Just what I was gonna say." " I knew that." "See, I knew that." "Wait a minute." "It's late." "Aren't you supposed to be watching the game?" "I was." "Fargo called." "Wagner again." "I don't know." "I get all the conductors confused." "Composers." "I rest my case." " Have a good one." " Yeah, you too." "I love the smell of pesticide in the mornin'." "Smells like grant renewal." "Biopharmacology's just a fancy word for gardening!" "That tears it." "My bad." "Trespassing is a crime, Fargo." "Now we'll see who the criminal is." "Sheriff, finally." "Hey, Fargo." "You smell like fertilizer." "He sprayed me with that death machine." "God knows what's in this stuff." "Called him a gardener again, didn't you?" "The point is I can't take the music anymore." "He plays it day and night." "You try asking him nicely to turn it down?" "I can't talk to that man." "He's completely irrational." " No idea what that's like." " People do not appreciate my role here." "I'm the grease on the cogs that turn the gears in this machine that is Eureka." "Let's go." "While I'm sure you did a great job in the last town you worked in..." "America, Fargo." "I was a U.S. Marshal." "America was my last town." "My point is, the foundation of scientific exploration in no small part depends on me getting the proper amount of sleep." " I'm the..." " Grease!" "Yeah, I've got it." "Sheriff." "I didn't hear you come up." "Can't imagine why, Seth." "Yeah, sorry." "But my night-blooming Necrosomnium violacea just can't get enough." "Yeah, well, I've had enough." "Well, that makes two of us, half-pint." " You callin' me short?" " If the corrective shoe fits, Tiny." "Enough, both of you!" "Please, guys." "Now my beer is warm, my steak is cold, and I have half a football game to get back to." "Do you know what I'm saying?" "Yeah, not to bother you again." "Exactly." "You." "Go on home, and for God's sake, take a shower." "You, no serenading your plants after 6:00 P.M." "Got it?" "No buts!" "If I have to come back, I'm bringing a stun gun and a weed whacker." "You got it?" "Good." "Well this was unexpected." "Well, you said Kevin was with his grandparents." " It's not often you get a night off." " No, honestly, it was nice." "I'm just, you know, it's been a long time since you've done something spontaneous." "You know, I was thinking." "Maybe we should revise our time table on sampling the artifact." "Okay." "Seeing that I know virtually nothing about it, what are you asking?" "Well, we saw what even brief exposure can do." "I mean, Dr. Carlson evolved beyond anything we've ever seen." "I don't know, Nathan." "We still don't have a handle on what we're dealing with." "Which is why we need a physical sample to study." "That's a huge risk." "Calculated risk." "But we will need to revise the safety protocols." "I should've known." "What?" "That this wasn't just dinner." "That you had an agenda." "And I actually thought that... may..." "Forget it." " Well, it's important, Allison." " I know it's important." "It's always more important." "And I'm tired of being the one who has to say no." " Allie." " No." "Welcome back, Sheriff Carter." " Hey, S.A.R.A.H. Who's winning?" " Michigan State up by a touchdown." "What?" "How'd that happen?" "Watch the rush!" "No... fumble?" "Fighting Irish, my ass." "Jackson might as well be handing them the ball." "No, he's green." "You just gotta give him a little..." "Was that my steak?" "It was getting cold." "And before you have a coronary, that's ginger ale." " Your beer's in the fridge." " Not for long." "Way ahead of you, Sheriff." "So... what was the emergency?" "Lovers' quarrel." "I handled it." "Come on!" "Go, go, go!" "Warren, tonight we sleep like kings." "It's on now." "Music to my ears." "What the hell are you doing?" "Taking back the night." "Fargo, I'm gonna change your religion." "Crap." "Allison Blake." "I don't wanna talk about this now, Nathan." "No, it's just way too early to argue." "I must've overslept." "Okay, look, I don't know." "When I feel like it." "Morning, Henry." "Hey." "Thought you'd finished it yesterday." " Didn't realize I was on a deadline." " No, no, no." "Just making conversation." "How's it work, anyway?" "It..." "It just does." "God, do I really have to explain everything?" "!" "No." " Feelin' okay?" " Fine!" "Just tired." "Well, I'll let you get back to it." "Thank you." "' Sup." "Hey." "You notice people acting a little weird?" "No." "You look nice." "You doin' something new with your hair?" "Yeah!" "I didn't feel like putting it up today." "No law against that, right?" "R ight." "Hey, you know what we should do tonight?" "We should go dancing." "Sure, you and me." "Thin blue line, brotha." "We could tear it up." "Don't take this the wrong way." "But have you been drinking?" "Drinking!" "Yeah, let's do that." "Oh, my God." "You know what would be so good right now?" "One of those caramel cappuccinos, you know, with the whipped cream and the cinnamon sprinkles?" "You want?" " I'll go make a run." " Well, actually..." "Great!" "Back in a jiff." "Okay, something's definitely wrong." "I want that son of a bitch arrested." "Nice to see you, too, Seth." "I take it something's happened?" "Fargo happened." "That sneaky little misanthrope cut my speaker wires and knocked me out with a shovel." "Mild-mannered Fargo knocked you out?" "He ain't mild-mannered." "He's a frickin' lunatic." "And I want him locked up!" "Okay." "I'll go talk to him." "He's not at home." "When you find him, I want you to arrest him." "Yeah." "If I deem that necessary, then I will arrest him." "In the meantime, just go on home, okay?" "I'll handle it." "You better." "Or I will." "Seth." "Is that a threat?" " No." " Good." "It's gonna be one of those days." " Morning, Fargo!" " Go away." "I'm trying to sleep." "Yeah." "Talked to Seth Osborne." "Heard you had a busy night." "You should arrest that maniac." "He's a menace." "He says the same thing about you." "Me?" "I unplugged a couple speaker cables." "He freaks out." "Next thing I know, I wake up in a pool of my own spittle." "Wait a second." "He knocked you out?" "Yeah, so why don't you go bother him and let me get back to sleep?" "You can sleep in my cell." "You're coming in for a statement." "Man." "Why me?" "Well, for starters, you just confessed to trespassing and vandalism." "Everyone always blames me for everything." "This is so not fair." "I know." "Life generally isn't." "Let's go." " The answer is no." " You're answering a question that isn't being asked." "He's coming with me." " That's a statement." " Good morning, boys." "Hi." "You look... nice." "Thank you." "I feel nice." " You're late." " You're never late." "Well, there's a first time for everything." "So." "What's going on?" "Well, Osborne was playing his music way too..." "Shut up." "There've been some very serious allegations leveled" " against Fargo, and I'm taking him in." " And I need him here to work." "So you're gonna have to tell the good sheriff that this will have to wait." "Don't the two of you ever get tired of bickering?" " Not really." " Look, if Fargo has done something illegal, Carter has to take care of it." " Thank you." " Well, there's a surprise." " What?" " You taking his side." "I'm not taking anyone's side, Nathan." "Please." "You could never separate the personal from the professional." "Like your problem with Carter is "strictly professional."" "I hate the way he looks at you." "I don't look at her." " Please." "Like a shark eyeing chum." " Really." "No, I mean..." "Well, yes, I mean, you look good, yeah." "But you..." "We gotta stay on topic here." "Am I supposed to ignore that Mayberry's hitting on my wife?" "You do realize I'm standing right here." "First of all, Nathan, you and I are separated, so Carter or anyone else can make a move any time they want to." "Second of all, I'm not the one who turned a perfectly pleasant dinner into a business proposal." " And most importantly," " Guys." "I didn't leave you for a job in D.C." "And it always comes back to this." "Wake me when it's over." "Reminds me of the last time we slept together." " Well, at least you can remember it." " You're an ass." "Wanna know the truth, Allison?" "We were having our problems long before I left Eureka." "But you refused to see it because it wasn't framed in your perfect little picture." "I never needed perfect, Nathan." "I just needed someone to be there." "Well, here he is." "Go for it." "I got work to do anyway." "I don't care what you do." "I'm tired of playing den mother around here." "You know, we're just gonna give you guys a minute..." "You stay here." "I'll go." "I quit." "Allison." "Hold on." "All yours, sport." "Enjoy." "I..." "Fargo." " Come on." " Crap." "Come on." "Come on, Allison, pick up." "This isn't justice." "This is madness." "I'm the grease, damn it." "The grease!" "Shut up for a second." "Hey, Allison." "It's Jack." "Listen." "People are acting a little weird." "And we..." "Well, frankly, you're acting a little weird." "But we should really get together and sort this out before it gets any worse." "Caught him trying to burn down Fargo's house." " Too late." " What?" "I'll kill him!" " Not if I kill you first!" " Knock it off." "Behave." "Wanna lock 'em up together and see what happens?" "And then I quit." "And it was like this heavy weight was lifted." "Like I was breathing for the first time in years." "It was terrifying, yet liberating all at the same time." "Like anything was possible." "So... so what do you think?" "I think I've lost my appetite." "I know." "I'm sorry." "It's just the first time that I've ever done this." "And it just seemed like a good time to start." "Yes, because most therapists love to work during their lunch break." "I'm sorry." "I thought you were supposed to be gentle and supportive." "Frankly, that's getting old." "Okay." "Every day, you people come to me and bare your souls, hoping I'll tell you what to do." "But that is not really what you're looking for." "It isn't?" "No." "You already know what you should do." "You're just looking for permission to do what you want." "I guess I could see how that could get tiring." "Yeah, everybody spills their guts to me, but who do I get to talk to?" " I never thought of it that way." " Of course not." "Because you're all too narcissistic to consider that no one really gives a crap about your problems." "Which aren't really problems at all." "I mean, come on." ""I'm Allison Blake." "I'm torn between my gorgeous, brilliant, but emotionally unavailable husband and the gorgeous, charming, but immature sheriff."" ""What should I do?"" "You make a choice." "Commit to it, and live with the consequences." "Talk is easy." "Doing is hard." "Passed out?" "You're sure you didn't just have one too many?" "No, no, I believe you." "I just..." "Yeah, I'll be in touch." "Okay, bye." "That's ten calls in ten minutes." "I'm gonna find Allison." "She doesn't get to quit today." " Quit it!" " You quit it!" "All right, hit 'em again." "Keep it up, bitches." "I can do this all day." "Okay, Jo." "I'm gonna be back shortly." "I need you to stay here and watch 'em." " You got it, chief." " Stop calling me "chief."" "What are you doing?" "Nothing." "Jo!" " Okay, this is mine." " You are no fun!" " You know what would be fun?" " Ice skating." "Never mind." "I'm gonna go figure this out." "You stay here." "And do whatever it is you're not doing." "I don't think I'm following you, sir." "It's not that complicated, Dr. Glazer." "I need you to give me access codes through the firewall." "There are strict safety protocols in place." "What you're suggesting could be catastrophic." "I need this, Louis." "The current plan for making contact with the artifact follows a progression of steps over the next several months." "All carefully designed and approved." "By you." "Thought you were a team player, Glazer." "But if you're not with me, I can do it myself." " But Dr. Stark..." " I don't need you." "Very well." "I don't need anyone." "Allison?" "You home?" "Hey, Carter." " Whatcha doing here?" " I was worried." "You're not answering your cell phone, and things are getting really weird." "I need your help." "That's nice." " Are you okay?" " Yeah." "Believe it or not, I've been spending some time with Beverly." " In session?" " Well, we weren't shopping'." "Right." "Was it helpful?" "Well, I've had a breakthrough." "Good." "So does that mean you've reconsidered?" "I have." "Great!" "'Cause we gotta figure out what's gotten into people." "I mean, have you told Stark you're not quitting?" "I'm not talking about my job." "I'm talking about what I want." "I..." "In regards to..." "This." "Yeah, Allison..." "I'm making a choice and committing to it." "Talk is easy." "Doing is hard." " Yeah, and what are you doing?" " Exactly what I want." "Yeah." "I can't." "Really?" "Yeah." "Oh, no, I mean, I can." "I'm fully capable." "But just not..." " What are you talking about?" " You're not yourself." "People aren't acting like themselves." "As much as I would love to..." "I completely understand." "Yeah." "Good." " Now get out." " What?" "No!" "I... if you just think." "Yeah, I'm done thinking." "I'm doing." "Henry." "Henry, Spencer said I'd find you here." "Look, things are getting a little crazy." " I need to pick your brain." " Yeah, you and everybody else." "I don't follow." "I mean that's all anyone around here does is feed on me." "Global Dynamics, D.O.D., you." "I'm intellectual carrion." "Order up!" "Not you too!" "It's all about producing, getting ahead of everybody else, but that's not what I signed up for." "It's a little early in the morning for scotch, isn't it?" "No." "I came to Eureka to create without restriction or agenda." "To make the world a better place, you know, like the new cell tower." "But eventually, it all gets digested by the machine and re-tasked and turned into something very," " very unappetizing." " Henry, I need you to focus for me." "Just for a second." "You need something from me." "Well, there's a shocker!" "Order up!" "Okay, I'm just gonna ignore that and push on." "People seem to be under the influence." "Doing whatever the hell they want, like they're drunk." "Some of us are." "Could it be... an infection?" "Something like contagious Turret's." "How did you get all those big words to come out of that tiny little brain?" "You know, you're a really mean drunk." "Caribou pepper steak with roasted garlic." "Sheriff, you hungry?" "Uh, not anymore." "Okay, well, the seats are for customers." "Either order something or get your ass up." "You See?" "There you go, there's your..." "You see?" "It's spreading." "So how's it being transmitted?" "Is it a virus?" "I don't know." "I don't care." "The doctor... is out." "Henry, I can't solve this alone." "Well, then, you're really screwed." "Vincent, there's a tuft of hair in my food." "There you go." "And this is well done." "You know I like my meat bloody." "I am so sorry." "Let me fix that for you quick as a wink." "That bloody enough for you, jackass?" "!" "Order up, Vincent!" "Yeah, I'm screwed." "What happened?" "Vincent brained one of the Baker brothers with today's special." "Nice." "Any particular reason?" "Other than the fact that it was burnt and caribou..." "Maybe the fact that he's crazy?" "We still getting calls about people who passed out last night?" "Tons." "I just stopped answering the phone." "Jo." " You have to answer the phone." " I don't want to." " It's so boring, and I..." " Okay." "Okay." "People, gather round for a second." "Quick question." "How many of you blacked out last night?" "Put your hand down." "Put your hand down." "Down." "Any of you woke up someplace strange this morning?" "Okay, okay." "Thank you." "Jo, please take Vincent back to the station and lock him up." "And keep him away from Frick and Frack." "Okay." "Jo!" "Oh, yeah." "Right." "Come on." "Zoe, it's me." "I need you to go home and stay there, okay?" "Oh, and make sure you keep your cell on in case" "Oh, that's gotta be it." "On second thought, scratch that." "Turn it off." "Turn your cell..." "Devil's plaything." "Taggart?" "You're naked." "Au naturel." "May I ask why?" "Why not?" "Unfortunately, that doesn't tell me if you've been affected or not." "Why do we find it so impossible to live in harmony with nature?" "I mean, look at this." "All function." "No form." "Or dysfunction." "Wanna help me take it down?" "With pleasure." "And so Quixote turns, standing in the field of men at the foot of giants, and says aloud," ""No more!"" "Let's tilt that windmill, shall we?" "I was thinking more along the lines of an off switch." "Hey, don't make me come in there." "Hey, attention, everyone." "Good news." "You're all gonna be fine." "I think I fixed the problem." " Or Taggart did." " Really?" "Because it sure doesn't look like it." "Stop it!" "Well, maybe there's a delayed response." "Did you take away all their cells, P.D.A.s?" " An hour ago." " What are you waiting for?" "Don't you get it, big man!" " Why do they seem worse?" " Hello!" "That's what I'm asking you." " Henry." " I told you." "The doctor is out." "I'm cleaning house." "Take anything you like." "Yeah..." "I know what you told me." "But that, the subfrequency cellular... thingamajig." "That you built-- that you finished." "I had this theory that it was responsible for the strange behavior." "So I had Taggart dismantle it." "Good for you." "Yeah, only no one's getting any better." "Probably because it wasn't online." " You sure?" " I built the damn thing, Carter." "I should know whether or not it was running." "So this thing isn't over." "No." "Hello, everyone." "This is Beverly Barlowe." "Hey, isn't that your P.A. system?" " I'm canceling all therapy appointments" " I gave it to her this morning." "for the foreseeable future." "All the secrecy is unhealthy, and frankly, I can't take any more." "I suggest instead you start talking to each other." "So before I go, I thought I would give you a few issues to discuss." "I'll start in alphabetical order." "Allison Blake." "Oh, crap." "That brings me to Walter and Susan Perkins." "Boy, do I have a lot of dirt on these two." "Beverly!" "And, quite frankly, it'll be a relief to get it all out in the open." "Yeah, let's leave it closed." "But I am just getting to the good part." "Yeah, I know." "People are having a little bit of trouble controlling their impulses, so I'm just gonna save you from yourself." " You're a dead woman." " And her." " Okay, okay." " I'm all yours, princess." " Is that the best you got?" " Hold on." "Allison, you have every right to be angry." "But violence is not the answer." "If you guys wanna talk..." "That's better." "Now maybe we can talk this through." "Beverly!" "No." "That's it!" "Is that the best you've got?" "Allison, what are you doing?" "Exactly what I want to." " Well, it's about time." " Bev, not helping." "She exposed my deepest secrets to the entire town." "To be fair, I exposed everybody's secrets." " Well, up to the Ps, anyway." " I'm not too happy with you, either." " Now get out of the way." " Allison, listen to me." "You're not yourself." "Something's happening." "And it's happening to everyone." "Everybody but me." "I'm not affected." "Why am I not affected?" "I'm pretty sure this will affect you." "Now move out of the way!" "You're not gonna shoot anyone." " Really?" "Why's that?" " You're not gonna shoot me." "Okay." "Sorry." " It's for your own protection." " Think I was mad at you before?" "I'll make it up to you." "There is nothing that you could possibly do." "Thank you." "Well, that's a start." "Okay." "You two keep each other company." "Sure you got a lot to talk about." "Oh, this isn't good." "S.A.R.A.H., door." "Welcome back, sheriff!" "Zoe." "Zoe!" "Oh, now you, too." "Me?" "What about you?" " I'm good." " Yeah?" "Yeah." "Prove it." "Put down my autographed World Series bat, or I'll ground you till you're 30." "Oh, thank God." "I was freaking out." "You're okay?" "Well, considering everyone's gone schizo." "The school's completely out of control." "Kids in fights." "Making out in the hallways." "Teachers apathetic." "So more like a normal school, then." "Exactly." "Weird, huh?" "Well, I mean, we're both fine, right?" "But why?" "I mean, what makes us different?" "We're from L.A.?" "Well, that definitely sets us apart, yeah." "But we've been in town for a while." "What makes us different now?" "Maybe a massage would help clear your head so you can think." "How come you never offer me a massage?" "That's it." " A massage." " No." "S.A.R.A.H., door." " Where are you going?" " Nowhere." "S.A.R.A.H., door." "That hissing sound." "S.A.R.A.H., this bunker is hermetically sealed, right?" "Technically, I'm a Smart House." "But yes." "Okay, and, where does our air come from?" "I'm equipped with oxygen and carbon dioxide tanks in case of emergency." "However, most of your breathable air is filtered from the outside through a 0.1 micron particle filter." "Okay, and I bet you keep track of every micron." "Of course." "All right, I'm gonna need an analysis, and fast." "Whatever happened, happened last night while we were sleeping." "The only abnormality in the last 24 hours is a spike in the pollen count from 11:53 P.M. to 6:23 A.M., sunrise." "Pollen." "What kind of pollen?" "Searching." "The material in question is exotic in nature." "It will take me some time to collate that data." "Okay, great." "Well, you have about 20 minutes before it gets dark." " So..." "S.A.R.A.H., door." " Where are you going?" "Back to where it started." "You stay here." "Okay, I'm in." "Be careful." "I got nothing." "S.A.R.A.H., you say a plant's causing this?" "The filter log registered positive for pollen from the violacea family." "Yeah, yeah, yeah." "It's... night-blooming necro-something violacea." "That's Osborne's genetic hybrid." " Necrosomnium?" " Yeah, that's it." "What is that?" "According to the Eureka Quest search engine, it's Latin for "death sleep."" "Of course it is." "Why would somebody plant that?" "Says here it's potentially an organic sedative, an alternative to general anesthesia." "Some varieties can alter brain chemistry" "There's a picture." "Hey, do you see any purple flowers or plants?" "No." "Nada." ""Hybrids may not share the same characteristics as their parents, and often present radically different visible traits."" "So maybe it's a different color?" "No, it's purple." "Gotta go." "Nature, one." "Man, nil." " What's going on?" " Striking back for Mother Nature." " Taggart?" " I know what you're up to, Sheriff." "You're gonna burn these beautiful plants." "For good reason, you jackass!" "Unless you want me to roast your chestnuts, back off!" "You wouldn't dare." "Try me." "All right, folks." "Freeze-dried Astronaut soup." "I have no clue what it is," " but get it while it's hot." " Got room for one more?" "Sorry, Mary." "Manger's full." "Try the café." "Yeah, it's packed." "Besides, I want Taggart where I can see him." " Or smell him." " Yeah." "Hope the pollen effect wears off before we have to start to bathe these guys." "Too late." "What?" "Fargo missed bucket time." " Oh, that's disgusting." " But the good news is, is that the swearing has gone down considerably." "And nobody's tried to spit in my face for the past couple of hours." "Well, that's progress." "No." "So is this everybody?" "One more stop." "Is it safe to come in?" "Relatively." "Might've been nice if you'd chained us to a bed last night." " Stop it." " Didn't say anything." "I'm embarrassed enough as it is." "Again, I am so sorry." "Guess I have a few apologies to make." "And thank you for stopping me." "You're welcome." "I guess I should thank you for stopping me, too." "That was pretty heroic." "Oh, you mean here at Beverly's." " Yeah." " Yeah." "Here." "Come on." "Oh, oh, oh, I quit my job." "I'm not looking forward to that conversation." "Where's Nathan?" "Chained to a radiator or something?" "I have no idea." "Sorry, I've been a little busy saving the world, so..." "You know, again." "Security breach in Section 5." "Come on." "Damn it." "Artifact chamber access granted." " What exactly are we dealing with?" " All I know is that there's something inside Section 5 that Nathan is obsessed with." "Something that he thinks will change the world." " Of course, it's incredibly dangerous." " Have you ever known anything to change the world that wasn't?" "Velcro." "You're right." "Not the right time." "So everybody's left the building." "Biohazard containment system's been activated." "They must evacuate." "One guess who's responsible." "Danger." "Failsafe disengaged." "Allison." "He might still be affected, and he's not too happy with you." "No, I can reach him." "I know I can." "Can't let you take that risk." "I need to." "Please." " Nathan." " You need to leave now." "Listen, please." "There's nothing you can say." " I need to do this." " No, you don't." "I want to do this." "You don't have anything to prove." "Not to me." "Not to anyone." "I really lost you." " Artifact's all I have left." " That's not true." "I'm here now." "You don't know what's inside that room." "But you know what's out here." "We need you." "The town needs you." "I need you." "I need you, too." "It's okay." "It's okay, honey." "You're okay." "It's okay." "So I guess that's it, then." "And hopefully, we can all now return to our normal routines." "The crazy rainforest plants have been... let's just say... recycled." "And... fortunately, no lives were lost in the process." "So while someone you know may have done or said something that..." "you didn't like, please remember that you probably said or did something you're not too proud of, either." "Let's try to put all this behind us." "Forgive and forget." "And let bygones..." "be bygones." "Fellow Eurekans, I just wanna touch base" " and tie up a few loose ends." " You like my speech?" " It was great." " Okay." "Look, I just wanted to... you know, thank you for, you know, not taking advantage of the situation." "Oh, yeah." "This whole debacle has raised a few questions for all of us." "And I'm no exception." "You are a gentleman, and..." "I appreciate it." " Thank you, Carter." " I apologize for everything I've made" "We're back to Carter now?" "Just take it slowly." "None of us are going anywhere." "This was a difficult decision for me to make." "And it's been... quite a journey." "But it's time for me to leave Eureka." "So... this is goodbye." "And God bless."