"Review Rodrigo Wettstein" "Look alive, people!" "For the next 24 hours we will be entrusted with the most dangerous criminal mastermind the sierras has ever known." "In 24 hours' time we will hand him over to the fbi." "Until that time... we must be vigilant." "Watch your back." "Watch your partner's back." "This man is a genius." "He will get inside your head... and he will find a way to escape." "What are we gonna do?" "!" "Wash your back!" "Be vigilant, sir!" "Don't let him see our fear!" "Ok, well, here's what I was gonna say." "Gimme an "a"!" "No." "Stop it." "And watch." "Not wash." "No one's washing." "Not wash." "No one's washing anyone." "Battle stations!" "You guys!" "Ha ha ha ha ha." "movehimout!" "Movehim." "Move him out!" "Move him out!" "Move him out!" "Move him out!" "go!" "Wiegel, you're with child!" "Oh, my gosh, you look..." " you're radiant!" " Thank you." "Don't engage him." "Don't engage him." "Those glasses are so you." "Thank you." "Thank... oh." "Not thank you." "Do not engage him." "You know that on my part, there's no hard feelings." "Good morning." "We are from the department of homeland security." "My name is captain duane hernandez." "Focus, people." "This is about fighting the terrorists." "This is the face of freedom!" "This is the face of freedom!" "We were robbed over the weekend." "They got away with $300,000's worth of evidence." "From the evidence room, and most of the phones and computers." "That person who called himself duane hernandez is apparently." ""Spanish mike" alvarez." "I'm just worried that... you're gonna get in with spanish mike, and... he's gonna talk you out of your panties in about... 30 seconds flat." "Jim, in fairness, it's not that hard to talk me out of my panties no matter who you are." "True." "Good afternoon, detective wiegel." "I have hay fever." "My... my vocal cords get affected." " Are you ok?" " Yes." " Oh, it's good to see you." " You, too." " Look at you." " Ha, here I am." "Wow!" "I'm not supposed to actually engage you in any... oh, I understand." "Sort of conversation." " So..." " I understand." "Hello." "Nice to see you, and... may I show you something?" "You tell me if you like it." "Oh... it's beautiful." "Like..." "like you are." "Thank you." "You know, wiegel, I never..." "I never told anyone this, but..." "I never knew the taste of my mother's breast." "Oh, no." "And look where I am now." "Oh!" "I was fed by the village wet nurse." "Her name was marta, but everyone called her sarsaparilla." "She had areolas the size of half dollars." "And I bonded with her instead of my mama." "Oh, god, that's heartbreaking." "I would like another chance." "I know." "All I need is for you to slip the key... through this little opening here." "That's all I need." "Why wiegel?" "Help me!" "Jim... jim said no talking, don't engage him, don't even look at him." "But he didn't say anything about holding hands." "So... quickly." "Thank you." "Can you hold something else?" "Sure." "Oh, no." "No, no, no, no, no." "Definitely not." "Sheriff's department!" "Did someone call the sheriff's department?" "Hello, hello." "Anybody here dial 911?" "Sir, are you the booze, hammer of galen?" "I am booze hammer of galen." "What is the nature of your emergency, sir?" "Well, there's a massive anachronism going on down... there's a gentleman using a... a... a cold iron sparta, which is a circa 1195." "Ah... i believe the cutoff year here is 1095." "And you called the sheriff's department because of this?" "Oh, yes." "It's upsetting people." "It's upsetting my mount viggo, and I don't want to... out of date of your little make-me-up play." "How'd you call us?" "I used a scrawing device." "Ah... for... what is a scrawing device, sir?" "Sorry." "Are you ok?" "My scrawing device is on vibrate." "I must've been getting a... he's using a cell phone!" "You used a cellular telephone." "I... i refer to it as a scrawing device..." "that I use." "Why?" "Why?" "Because we are in the year 1095." "Now you're pissin' me off, tubby!" "I... us... no." "Ok, I got a question." "This is my winter fat that I have not... had enough jousting to work off my winter fat." "It's august." "The cotton candy ain't helping', either, bro." "This is... this is spun sugar." "They had this in 1095." "Viggo?" "You know what?" "Viggo and I are leaving." "No, you're not." "You're coming with us now." "Viggo, let's go." "Get him stabled in." "Get him stabled in." "No." "Let's get some pretzeled bread." "Would you just fucking say pretzel?" "!" "It's not. "Pretzeled bread"." "It's a fucking pretzel." "You're gonna get an angry couplet." "Are you ready?" "Go." "Fire away." "In mirrored pools which cover your eyes, and frightening." "Is the fur on your skinny thighs." "I think I've... get down!" "Get down off that burro!" "Viggo." "Viggo." "Viggo!" "Mom!" "Mom!" "Listen... your mom can't help you now." "I'm being taken to the future." "But I will return with..." "i'll return with medicine!" "No, he won't." "I will bring medicine!" "He'll return in a delorean with doc brown." "How 'bout that?" "Oh, that's really funny." "You should be in the jester." "Thank you, everybody, ah... my name is... ah..." "deputy kimball, and I..." "All right, everybody settle down now." "Hey!" "On the count of 3, I want quiet." "1...2...3." "Everybody just settle down!" "Now, I'm... i'm serious." "Now, if y'all don't... if y'all don't want detention, if you know what's good... now, you, especially." "I want you to be quiet right now!" "Now, stop it!" "Everybody shut up!" "Well, all right!" "My name is deputy kimball." "It's very good to meet you all." "How are you all doin' today?" "Jeez, debbie, our relationship is really becoming good." "I think it's time for us to move on to sex and intercourse." "I agree, which makes it consensual, so there's no problem, although you do look a little young to me." "Freeze!" "Never have sex with anyone until you see a government issued I.d." "with their birth date on it." "Anyone you're having sex with should be born before today's date in... 1990" "Do the math." "Or get yourself some sheriff's department bling-bling." "Oh, oh... oh, oh!" "Stop!" "Wait!" "Stop!" "Stop!" "Nice one, ma'am." "Do you wanna step out of the car?" "I don't drink." "None of these people drink either, and yet..." "I don't drink alcohol!" "I don't even drink, ok?" "I'm just out of the program and I do not drink." " Ok... this way." " Arms out." "You have a little camel toe, miss." "I know!" "But I don't make these uniforms!" "Ok." "You're a little belligerent, ma'am." "I'm not belligerent!" "I'm angry." "I feel victimized!" "By you, blondie!" "You smell like a winery." "That's because I had a cold and I took something for it." "You took some wine?" "No, a took a cough syrup tank." "Tank." "Ma'am, you can get your purse and go in there with the other drunks." "Susan?" "I'm not drunk, I said!" "I'm not... get your purse and go over here." "Seize the vehicle." "No!" "Yes!" "No!" "Get her off, get her off, get get her off, get her off!" "Gimme my car, you little... get her off, get her off!" "Do you want me to taze you?" "We are getting a paddy wagon." "You are all going to go in the paddy wagon." "Jeez!" "No lights." "Cowboy." "Cowboy, over here." "Cowboy." "Hey, hey, hey, hey!" "Get off!" "Get him!" "Get him!" " Get him!" " Get off..." "I got her." "You can't..." "Hey!" "Hey!" "Get out of my peeper!" "She went... she's got... sir!" "Son of a... all right, you hold her." "Get the big black guy!" "No!" "No!" "Pinky!" "I got her, I got her!" "I saw anita franco..." "last year." "In madrid, spain." "She was wonderful!" "Do you know anita franco?" "I've heard... heard a couple of her tunes." "You have, have you?" "I... i thought as much." "She's a very talented entertainer." "Yes, she is." "She's her own person and... god bless her for it, you know?" "Frigging men!" "God damn stupid men!" "Oh!" "I hate men!" "I'm here because I'm a man, because of men and their laws!" "I cannot be free!" "I know what you're trying to do..." "spanish mike." "They told me what you did and they told me how you charmed." "And they told me how you flirt and they told me how you... sink into people's brains." "And should wear those cutoffs." "And my arms had tits my uncle would be my... whatever." "God, I hate jail!" "It sucks!" "Ok, we're gonna start with our feet together, and we're gonna take our right hand and we're gonna bring our right..." "Our right hand to our nose." "We're gonna go...1, 2... 3, 4. other hand. 5, 6... 7, 8. 5, 6, 7, 8, and 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8." "Walk, 2, 3, 4, booty, booty, shimmy up, and hip, hip, hip, hip, roller, 6, 7, 8!" "Whoo!" "You've all passed your audition and you all are going to jail!" "Ho!" "Calm down!" "Hey, hey, hey!" "Hey, hey." "whoa,whoa,whoa,whoa!" "Guys, guys, I need you for a second." "Oh, lady hands off." "Have you guys ever been or done security for a ted nugent concert before?" "No." "No, sir." "All right, here's some rules." "Don't ever look the nuge directly in the eye." "Don't pull on the nuge's hair." "Don't out a wrist rocket and shoot him in the face with a ball bearing." "Like happened in 1978 in kansas city, all right?" "Don't do that!" "If he wants to talk about hunting, specifically bow hunting, get interested." "Get real interested, ok?" "Yeah, whatever." "Not whatever." "I need an Affirmative on this." "We got it." "You guys, don't be a dick back here." "This is important." "This could be a career move for you guys." "Do you own any Ted nugent albums?" "I do not have any fred nugent Albums." "It's ted nugent, sir." "Whatever." "I don't have 'em." "If the nuge, aka, ted nugent." "Asks you after this concert if you own some of his albums, what Do you think you might say then?" "You might wanna say, "yes", Sir, I love your work, and I have several of your vinyl "Albums at home."" "I neither like your hairstyle." "You might be." "Asked lay it down." "I'm not laying down anything," "Sir." "I'm doin' my job." "Maybe later on." "All right, well, here he comes." "All right, you two dumb asses, don't screw this up!" "This is big-time!" "Got it?" "This is the nuge!" "Here he comes." "All right!" "Asshole." "Mike?" "Holy!" "Jeez!" "How are you?" "Not 'supposed to talk to ya." "everyonehasspokentome." "You're not breaking any rules or anything, believe me." "It's." "All very relaxed here." "It's all very..." "at ease." "Ok." "whatyouguysgot there," ".9 millimeter?" "yeah,wegotaberetta." "Is that a beretta?" "How does that feel?" "It's a pretty light gun." "Not much of a kick just because it's." "Got automatic action, but..." "pretty good firearm." "Yeah, see?" "oh,that'snice." "See how I filed it down a little bit?" "That would be too big for my hand." "No." "I don't think so." "can I feel the weight of the." "Thing?" "yeah,it'sprettygood," "Right?" "Yeah, but I can't..." "oh, this." "Is open here." "Just the weight." "Now, you hold on to it... no, I shouldn't do it." "I mean, you're a prisoner and it's." "A gun and, you know, that..." "putthesafetyon." "Put the ." "Safety on." "Make sure it's on." "yeah, it's on." "Don't take the." "Safety off, though." "justtheweight." "Justthe." "Weight." "Feel the balance." "Balance it." "Up on your finger there and you can feel it just like perfectly." "Align." "For a cheap gun, it's not bad." "No, it's a good gun." "Listen, I took the safety off." "Nothing." "Personal... open the door, please." "tookthebulletsout !" "Now who's inside whose head?" "Gotcha!" "Gotcha!" "You took the bullets out?" "yeah,bulletsareoutside." "You took the bullets out?" "yeah, there's no way I'd come." "In here with bullets." "You think I'd be... touche, my friend." "Nicely played, my friend." "Gotcha." "Gotcha." "yougotme ." "Youson ofa  you got me." "You son of a bitch!" "Son of a bitch!" "You ain't gonna get in my head, all right?" "I'm just gonna Tell you that straight up front." "All right?" "I respect a strong black woman." "Yes, you do." "Hey." "Can I tell you something?" "No, don't tell me nothin', 'cause I'm gonna tell you Something." "I'm gonna tell you that I am like them guards that." "Stand outside the queen's house, the ones with the big hat." "On?" "People be sayin' stuff, and they just... boom!" "I knew that about you." "I always knew that about you, williams." "I always knew that about you." "All right." "All right." "What I was going to tell you was on my mother's side, my grandmother's grandmother is from ghana, africa." "So I'm... so you know I ain't playin' Around." "I had a complete..." "Total scholarship for morehouse college when I was 21." "21, but the man held me down!" "Come on." "Right?" "!" "I'm just sayin'...when you do what you do the way you do it," "You get respect." "Preach, my nubian princess, Preach!" "Oh!" "That's what I'm talkin' About!" "Ha ha ha!" "Gimme a pound on it!" "Gimme a Pound on it!" "You're so crazy!" "Ok." "Can you let my hand go?" "Please?" "B-brother?" "Ha!" "You're hurting my wrist." "There are many levels of pain." "You have just crossed into." "The welcome mat." "You have not even entered the door, walked Down the hallway, and gone up the stairs to visit the vip Rooms." "Come on!" "For real!" "I'm..." " This is foolish." " Hey!" "You know?" "Oh, now you..." "you're going to hell..." "Sheriff's department!" "Hey, terry." "Hi!" "How's it goin' tonight?" "I... madames, excuse me." "Take a Walk." "Bye, you guys." "I'll see you At the party." "What's going on?" "What's going on is that apparently you've been doing... people's taxes." ""Terry bernardino, certified public accountant"?" "That's me." "At your service." "Why?" "Do you want me to do your Taxes?" "When did you get your cpa?" "What's that?" "Oh, my god, what is that?" "Oh, is that the thing where somebody can't breathe and you." "Give 'em cpa?" "Whatever." "I'll stop." "I'll just go back to being A doctor." "How did you even start doing People's taxes, terry?" "Um... some guy who was not my boyfriend for a while... said he wanted me to look at his Taxes, and I was like... maybe I will, maybe I won't." "And he Punched me in the face." "So you're the victim." "This is a terry story..." " Oh, god, there he goes again." " Trudy, it's amazing." "In this Part of terry's life, terry's the victim." "Yeah." "As opposed to... as opposed to every other time." "This time, you're the victim." "If I recall the last time terry was a victim was when he Was giving pap smears in the back of his van." "Yeah, remember that?" "So he was a victim 'cause the Lady clamped down on him." "Yeah!" "She... kicked me in the face... come on, terry." "Stop." "That's a curb there." "I can't go over it." "You can't go over it." "No." "I'll fall and hurt Myself." "Terry, I like you." "I used to Like you." "Thank you!" "What?" "I was in there... you know, I had to take my shift guarding him." "And I could not help feeling like..." ""I wanna take Off my panties." I could not shake the feeling of that, and Then when my shift was over, I had to go pee... my panties were Gone." "Huh?" "Like lost time, like ufos." "Did you lose time?" "Did you check your watch?" "I don't know!" "Now, unless..." "unless I just left." "And forgot to put something on." "But I am 99% sure that I did." "You... you... oh... no." "No. no!" "Let's go." "Come on." "I don't want to go!" "Let's go." "You can't make me!" "You can't Make me!" "Oh!" "Aah!" "No!" "Got a little paperwork for You." "He's all yours." "Sign the release form right there." "Reno sheriff's department." "Thanks." "I wouldn't be Surprised if your department gets a commendation." "The score at..." "One-nothing." "one-nothing." "Hey,asshole," "No parking here." "yeah,that'sthe." "Sheriff's department only." "I'msorry." "Thisisn 'tthe ." "Area for prisoner pickup?" "Ithappensto be ,yes." "Dynamite." "I'm agent bruce padule for a 469 pickup of a.k. Alverez." "You're who for what?" "Agent bruce padule... i'm sorry about that. 469 pickup." "Oh, you're with the fbi." "Here's my license." "And you're here to..." "Pick up alverez." "You need another Form, that's a credit card with a picture on it." "FBI." "Pick up alverez." "Yeah, I... yeah. um..." "The other... fellows." "I'll give you that..." "Absolutely." "And then..." "Is there a problem?" "No, sirree..." " Here's the thing..." " Yeah." "He's being deloused." "Think of this as, um... we don't come down to imagine Things." "We can't come to a crime scene... it's a raping of verisimilitude." "It's a." "Verisimilitude rape." "Oh, here's our fucking Thesaurus." "All right." "What are we Lookin' up?" "Anachronism first." "Anachronism." "Ver..." "vermily You said?" "Was that a band that was like Rush?" "Did you have a druid say an invisibility chant on that, because..." "Oh, oh, oh!" "Now you're pissin' me off!" "Now you're pissin' me off, tubby!"