"I sold everything but these cucumbers." "Now what am I gonna do?" "We can pickle that!" "Hi." "I'm Bryce Shivers." "And I'm Lisa Everson." "And we can pickle that." "[Clucks]" "Oh, my God." "These chickens are laying so many eggs I'm freaking out." "We can pickle that!" "We did it." "Pickled eggs." "Pickles always cost a nickel." "[Crowd exclaims] We can pickle that." "We can pickle anything." "Everything should be pickled." "Guys!" "We can pickle that!" "Hah!" "I knew we could pickle that!" "Oh, like this, you mean?" "It was tricky, but we did it." "Pickle juice tastes like garbage." "It sucks." "As you can see, we're in a disaster." "Sales are down." "Inventory's up." "Got 18,000 empty jewel cases." "What the hell are we gonna do?" "We-We could pickle that." "Gotcha." "We could pickle that!" "Oh, we'll be pickling that." "[Wolf whistle]" "We can pickle that." "[Swallows] It's hard work." "Anything?" "Nothing." "Nothing I'm doing is working." "I know." "I'm sorry, honey." "It's not you." "It's..." "It's..." "I think we're biking too much." "Yeah, right." "We could bike less." "And, you know, you don't have to watch your laptop on your lap." "It just gets so hot." "There's got to be something else we can do." "Yeah." "[Both] Hey." "Hi, guys." "Hi." "Is there a bathroom we can use?" "Where's your drink?" "He's gonna make something special." "Oh, yeah?" "I couldn't decide what to order, and he said, "I'll make you something." Wow." "He's a mixologist." "He's really getting into it." "They're like chemists." "By the way, I think I know that guy." "Oh, really?" "Yeah." "He looks like, and I think it is, this guy I went to camp with." "Wow." "He's cute now." "It's a lot of ingredients." "I didn't know that could go into a drink." "As he goes he's like, "That doesn't work." "This does work." "That doesn't work." "This does work."" "He's looking at you, by the way." "I don't know." "I..." "I will admit openly that's straight-up cool." "There you are." "Thank you." "That is a ginger-based bourbon drink infused with honey, lemon and chard ice." "Wow." "Then building off of that base, we've got cherry tomato, lime zest." "I actually made the bitters myself at home." "Wow." "We've got egg whites, eggshell, egg yellows." "Rotten bananas." "It adds to, like, the flavor of it?" "Secret of the pros, yeah." "Also, we're just trying to get rid of it, so..." "The final ingredient..." "a little bit of love." "Oh." "Thank you." "How are you, man?" "Good." "How's it goin'?" "Working here's good?" "It's the best, yeah." "Mm." "This is delicious." "Oh, you've, uh, got a little something." "Sorry." "Get that for you." "Thank you." "How much is it?" "How much is the drink?" "Play it cool." "Oh, it's on the house." "Thank you very much." "Seriously, yeah, enjoy, and great talking to you guys. have a great night." "All right, see you, man." "Take care." "By the way, this is, like, the best drink I've ever had." "Right?" "Oh, my God!" "He loves you." "Do you think?" "Carrie..." "You have some on your chin." "I love this drink." "She likes it." "Now I just have a beer." "She got a fancy drink, and I got a beer." "You've got to keep the game going." "You have to return the serve." "Like, he put this to you, you have to answer immediately." "That momentum has to stay." "He mixed you a drink, now you mix him a tape." "Wow." "That's a good strategy." "You're good at that." "Like, he'll like that." "I love making mix tapes." "I can make him a theme tape about, like, drinks." "We can pickle that!" "We don't need to put the life jackets on." "Once you're 10 feet from the water, you need a life jacket?" "Let's just wait till we're closer." "Okay." "Did we bring enough stuff?" "No, but that's what nature's about." "We leave all our stuff behind." "I wish we had the camera." "I know, I know." "You know, what is the point?" "We'll bring one back next time." "What is the point?" "I'm telling you, we should have brought that camera!" "Let's practice a couple safety things really quick." "If any of is unable to speak and goes down, what's the signal?" "A-O, river!" "That's great." "You see the grip?" "It's a loose grip." "Okay." "All right, so it slides up and down." "Okay." "Right hand grabs this." "For safety, pull back, and you're here." "Okay." "You have to try to grab the rope." "Hon, I'm ready to go." "All right." "Hey, hey, hey, hey!" "Dave, Dave!" "Hey." "I'm sorry." "This is our area right here." "What are you guys doing?" "Sorry." "Uh..." "Guys, we talked to the park ranger, and we have this time scheduled." "I'm sorry." "Is that a beer?" "Thanks a lot!" "Uh, sir?" "Dave, he has a keg." "Is that keg?" "Do you have a license for that?" "What's your blood-alcohol level right now?" "Dave..." "Thumbs up?" "For what?" "You couldn't listen, could you?" "Please hold back!" "Aah!" "Dave!" "Hold on a second." "That was funny?" "[Shouting] Dave!" "Kath!" "Kath!" "A-O, river!" "Kath!" "A-O, river!" "Kath!" "A-O, river!" "Kath!" "What did we decide for A-O, river?" "A-O, river!" "Are you safe or not safe?" "What did we decide?" "A-O, river!" "Kath!" "Wait!" "[Voice-over] Dear Kath, we never decided, at least I think, what "A-O, river" means." "Forgive me, but, you know, you've forgiven me before for not getting it right." "At least we had a good time." "This was really life-changing." "A-O, river!" "I'm writing a note!" "Hopefully I'll see you in the near future." "Yours," "Dave King River." "Ha, ha." "You know what I mean." "Grab the bottle!" "Hey, Dave." "Oh." "What are you doin'?" "I just sent you a note." "Can you guys grab that bottle?" "[Both] A-O, river!" "Hi." "Excuse us." "We're looking for that bartender that was here last night." "Cute, floppy hair?" "Yeah, he had a tie on." "That's Andy." "I made him something." "Is he gonna be here again tonight?" "Sorry, no." "He left last night." "Moved to So-Cal." "He moved?" "To So-Cal?" "Yeah, he got a job at the Windjammer right on the beach." "Who moves out of Portland?" "Yeah, why?" "Fred, I'm bummed." "Like, last night was the first time in so long I felt a connection with someone." "Do you know what we should do?" "We should go find him." "You need to give him that tape." "If it means that much to you, we should go to So-Cal." "Okay, let's go." "All right." "Taxi!" "All right." "We're going to So-Cal." "Get on the 5 and go south 1,000 miles." "Aah!" "[Carrie groans]" "My eyes!" "Ah, my lily-white skin!" "What is that?" "It's the sun!" "Why isn't it covered by clouds?" "I have an idea." "Much better." "This is great." "I was thinking we should just walk to Windjammerz, right?" "Yeah." "How far can it be?" "[Carrie] Can't... go... on." "[Horn honks] [Mutters]" "[Fred] Need... food." "Water." "I see a restaurant right there!" "Oh, it's air-conditioned." "Okay." "My blood sugar is so low." "I know." "I'll have anything." "I just want a hamburger, fries." "Hey guys." "My name's Johnny." "Hi, Johnny." "Welcome to Around the World in 80 Plates." "Have you guys eaten with us before?" "No." "Oh, you haven't?" "All right, well, let me walk you through the menu." "We do things a little different here... a little quirky, a little fun." "I think we're just hungry." "I'm just gonna do a cheeseburger and fries." "This place really is a culinary voyage across the 7 Seas of Flavor." "Our menu is divided into 7 different cuisines." "And we do have specials in each of those sections that are not listed on the menu." "For instance, Craig's crazy guac tacs, which go great with cervezas." "I'm just gonna do a cheeseburger and..." "We don't have cheeseburgers." "We do have slam burgers." "Yeah, yeah." "Would you like your slam burger in a traditional sesame bun, in a taco, on French toast, or rolled up in a naan, which is this traditional Indian flatbread?" "No, I'll skip that." "I'll have a sesame bun." "And I'll do the, um, torpedo slam burger." "Torpedo slam burger as a taco." "Good choice." "And to drink, I'm going to have an iced tea." "No, we don't have iced tea." "We have smile teas." "What's a smile tea?" "It's tea with ice in it." "That sounds great." "There are a bunch of other specials that..." "I would like to tell you guys about." "We also have a weight management section if you're looking to dropping some "LBs."" "No, we're good." "Would you guys like to double down on your meal?" "I don't know that saying." "It's twice the amount of food for twice the price." "That's just ordering 2 of each." "You did say you were hungry." "We could double down and then share." "I'm sorry." "There's no sharing in the double down." "So what do you do if people are sharing?" "There are cameras everywhere." "That's not fun." "The cameras are here to ensure that fun is happening." "Someone looks at the camera, and they go, "Those two people are sharing"?" "Yeah, Craig." "He also does the guac tacs." "So he's making tacos and then he's looking at this?" "He has his taco station right on the security station." "He could just look at the video while he's making his crazy guac tacs." "Do you want to lobster-ate your meal?" "What is that?" "We just put a whole lobster on top." "I doubt you do that." "It's an extra $31.99." "I doubt that's even in existence." "Now, the sides..." "We have a..." "Fries are fine for me." "Yeah, me too." "We don't have fries." "Our sides today are..." "We want these cheeseburgers." "We could've had our food by now." "We don't have cheeseburgers." "You're right." "We could've had 2 slam burgers." "With cheese?" "What I'm saying is, we could've eaten by now." "What kind of cheese would you like, sir?" "What?" "I'm getting the beef dinger, the potato tornado, Good choice." "And something with a cheese boat." "What?" "Oh those are tight." "Cheese boats are dope." "Would you guys like to breakfast-ize your meal?" "Basically, we roll up everything you have into an omelet." "Don't you have other tables?" "Well, I'm taking your order right now, and then I'll move on to the other tables." "Okay, but we already ordered, by the way." "Not quite all the way yet." "Would you guys like to super-spike your meal?" "What's that?" "We pour Jack Daniel's over your meal." "No." "God, no." "Could you just super-spike my sides?" "Of course." "Good choice." "What?" "That's not a good choice." "They put liquid on your food." "I just kind of need an extra kick right now." "Like, I'm tired." "Oh, I hear you." "Order a drink." "Anything you say, he's gonna ask you all these other options for it." "So what we have right now for you is a torpedo slam burger with a side of potato tornado, beef dingers and cheese boats." "I'm going to enjoy watching you eat this." "And for you," "I have a cheese slam burger on a boring sesame bun." "Did I get that right?" "Yes." "That sounds right." "Thank you, guys." "Thank you." "Your food will be out in about 40 minutes." "Enjoy." "You know when you're over-hungry..." "Hey, sorry guys." "Totes my bad," "It is past 6:00 p.m." ", so we do have a completely different menu." "What?" "No." "No." "No, we need to eat." "There's bread right over there." "We're gonna eat that." "Thank you very much." "Mm, I'm starving!" "Thanks a lot." "This is ridiculous!" "Craig!" "Sorry about that." "Craig!" "[Groans] Toni, it's so hot." "It's the heat." "You know what's a good trick with cold water?" "Put it right here on your fingertips." "'Cause that's where all your arteries are." "[Bell jangles]" "Hello." "Air conditioner repairmen." "Yes, we called, and as you can feel, it's sweltering hot in here." "Where's the unit?" "I'm sorry, what?" "Your air conditioner." "Where is the air conditioner?" "What does it look like?" "What does an air-conditioning system look like?" "Well, it'll have an aluminum hood, like this, and there will be an air sound coming out of it, and when it goes on, it'll whir-r-r like that." "I need you to stop doing this with your hand, and I need you to stop whirring with your lips." "Can I whir?" "Yes." "So can we find the unit?" "What do you mean by that?" "The unit?" "Where's the..." "Where's your air-conditioning unit?" "Sir, I don't think that you're allowed to come into this store and talk about units." "Every time you say the word "unit" or "box" or "equipment,"" "I feel a penis here, I feel a penis here, I feel a penis here." "I am halfway to pregnant." "We'll call this from now on a air conditioner or..." "A chill machine..." "Or a chill unit." "We can call it a chill unit." "No, we cannot." "Did I say "unit"?" "I'm so sorry." "We will strike the word unit from ts conversation." "It entered into my subcon..." "I'm so sorry." "Okay, sweetie, you got a burned-out condenser." "Who's "sweetie"?" "Well, ma'am, I can fix it." "It, um..." "Probably put a couple of new..." ""Sweetie"?" "I have a name." "And that name is Candice." "All right, ma'am." "Well, I'm here..." "It's not "ma'am." It's Candice." "And I'm Toni." "I'm Brian." "I'm Brian, the air conditioner repairman." "Okay, Brian, we're going to lend you a book." "I want you to read this." "And it is a vivid, vivid description of what it's like to be a woman." "Which I think is something that you could benefit from:" "Understanding a woman's journey." "Which is why I've also brought this book." "S/He." "Inside each of us is both a phallus and the opposite of a phallus." "A cone." "Oh, no." "I've never been that way." "What way?" "It's not this way or that way." "We're all one way." "We're all human." "You, sir, have a feminine side, don't you?" "Well, I like gals." "First, I just want to say thank you." "I feel very..." "cool and..." "Yeah, it's like I can breathe again." "Well, I'm glad you got your chill back." "Ah, it's so nice." "It was, uh, $300." "Okay, well, we have some of it here." "I have 5..." "15 minus..." "I mean, if you wanna... if you wanna make a donation, we'll have almost enough." "Cash or check would be best." "Sir!" "Sir, will you just freeze?" "Will you hold on..." "Stop it." "You're gonna break something." "I'm basically behind bars now." "You need to be much more polite to the people around you." "We want a good community." "[Door closes] How much did we lose?" "I don't know." "$28." "I guess we could try to sell some books." "Yeah." "Can I help you?" "Hi." "Yes." "I'm with the Surf Rider Foundation, and I was hoping you would sign this petition to help us ban plastic bags in Oregon." "I don't think I want to do that." "Oh, a skeptic." "Okay." "I think I need to read the appropriate literature before I sign anything." "Okay." "Here you go." "Thank you." "Yeah." "Hi, how are you?" "I'm Malcolm Singer." "Hi, I'm Kris." "That's our son Alex you just spoke to you before." "Yeah." "Could you just explain, help us to understand, why you would shut the door on our son?" "I'm the type that I have to read it first, have it right in my brain, and then I'll decide." "Yeah, but but he's the type and we're the type that needs instant answers." "That's unfortunate." "It's actually fortunate because that's the way that a person learns." "You know what?" "Let's try it again." "Let's try it again." "For Alex's sake." "Hello, Alex." "It's nice to see you again." "What was the name of your organization?" "The Surf Rider Foundation." "That sounds convincing to me." "You did so good." "Have you read the literature, though, that your..." "Hey, listen." "Literature's one of those things that..." "[Mumbling]" "[Mumbling] What?" "This kid's a good guy." "I'm sure he is." "You know, just sign the damn thing." "I'll close the door." "You're nice." "Thank you." "Can I help you?" "Hi." "I'm from the Surf Rider Foundation..." "My name is Alex." "My name is Alex, and I was hoping you'd sign this petition to help ban plastic bags in Oregon." "Tell me more." "Just making sure you're smiling at him." "Tell me more." "They cause pelican cancer." "They don't cause pelican cancer." "Who knows?" "Does it say it in there?" "They-They do." "Can you show me?" "Shrug." "That means what?" "That means it's for you to decide." "He's doing pretty good." "Well, not if he's telling people plastic bags cause pelican cancer." "Let's try this." "Just move your mouth and I'll just do it for you." "[Malcolm] So, well, you look pretty great." "I mean, I think everybody looks pretty great." "I mean, people in general, they're always looking good and they're trying their best." "Ahh." "Anyway, well..." "Hey, listen." "Just sign it, and let's get out of here." "Get a life." "And stop smothering your child." "I'm sorry." "I failed." "No, you didn't." "There's crazy people out there, that's all." "Hi." "I understand that my son and his wife were here because you wouldn't sign my grandson's petition, and I was just wondering why you won't sign the petition." "I feel like I haven't done my job if they can't convince you." "They did a good job, didn't they?" "Just sign it." "Oh!" "All right." "You got it, buddy?" "I'm sorry." "I think we should go to ice cream." "Ice cream?" "Ice cream." "[All chanting] Ice cream!" "Ice cream!" "Ice cream!" "Ice cream!" "Ice cream!" "Ice cream!" "Pistachio!" "♪ [Dance] Excuse me." "This is so awful!" "Hey!" "There he is right there!" "Rock and roll!" "Whoo!" "You think he'll remember me?" "Just go talk to him." "Okay." "I'll be right back." "Wait here." "I'm pourin'." "Who wants it?" "Hi." "What can I get you, darlin'?" "I just wanted to say hi." "I came down from Portland." "I felt like..." "Do you remember me?" "I just wanted to talk to you." "I felt like we had a..." "Whoo!" "I wanted to give you something." "Olive Oyl, do me a favor." "Back up, all right?" "You're ruining my fields of gold here." "You want this?" "That's on the house." "Hey, what do we got down here?" "Who wants a..." "Yeah!" "It's not working." "Let's just go." "What happened?" "It was awful." "He didn't remember me." "He's just not a mixologist anymore." "He's..." "[Gargling]" "He's just a bartender." "Didn't you say you went to camp with him?" "Isn't there some way you can remind him?" "I got it." "♪ Long live Camp Portland ♪" "♪ Fall and winter, spring there is only rain ♪" "♪ Campin' out in Oregon ♪" "♪ Where all of our bonds will never break ♪" "♪ But if one of us should stray ♪" "♪ We shall find them in the night ♪" "♪ On the banks of the Willamette ♪" "♪ We pitch our tents and catch some fish ♪" "♪ Frying it up under the cloudy stars ♪" "♪ To make a delicious fishy dish ♪" "Hi." "It's you." "Yeah." "I made you that drink." "You did." "It was the best drink I've ever had." "I made that drink..." "because I love you." "I made you this tape because I love you." "That's so funny." ""Mix Drinks." Yeah." "Hey, how's it goin', buddy?" "How are you, buddy?" "How was your trip down here?" "Yeah, it was good." "Yeah, everything okay?" "Yeah, really good." "Hey!" "Come back." "I will." "Can we listen to this in the car?" "Yes, the whole way." "I'm sorry." "Can I get a ride?" "Yeah." "Okay, cool." "I'll meet you in the car." "Okay, great." "Bye." "Bye." "Cool, so I'll see you in the car, man." "See you out front." "I've got to give them my address so they can send my check." "Okay." "Later, man." "Yep." "♪ If you want to take a chance ♪" "♪ Girl, take my hand ♪" "He mixed you a drink." "Now you mix him a tape." "You know what you should put on there is, um, songs from Les Mis." "That's a horrible idea." "Les Mis is great!" "That's not a mix, that's a soundtrack." "No, I'm not saying in the same order." "Just switch it around so it has your spin on it." "So I'm doing a remix of Les Mis for him?" "That's ridiculous." "It is ridiculous." "♪ I will set you free ♪"