"THE THREE THIEVES" "This is the story of a colossal theft  a story of three nice scoundrels and of a woman who wasn't exactly very faithful." "Anyway, an absolutely fantastic story  that couldn't have happened anywhere other than in this imaginary place." "And in that distant age in which a newspaper would cost just a penny  a nice lunch two pennies, and love... almost nothing." "Anyway, an age long ago that none of you young ladies present  could even hope to imagine." "The year Nineteen-Eleven." "Come in!" "Come in, Tapioca." "Oh, excuse me..." "I didn't hear you." "But tell me..." "How did you know it was me?" " The cards." " Ah, I see." " When did you get out?" "So this is how you welcome old friends, eh?" "Nastily?" "Without even a kind word?" "Without even a smile?" "If you only knew, in these last few months, how many times I thought about you." "You've lost your chance." "I'll not be giving you a single lira." " What, Aida?" " Aida!" "Look here." "This is your account." "Tapioca, here we are..." ""February 10th..."" ""40 lire to prepare for a robbery at the Grand Hotel."" "Result:" "Three months in prison for stealing a chicken." " Of course, if you go into the kitchen..." " "August 7th..."" ""The borrowing of equipment..."" ""Including a blow torch to break into a bank safe..."" " Okay, okay!" " Result:" "Loss of equipment, including the blow torch  and the successful theft of two chickens." " But they give you eggs!" "What do I care about your eggs?" "!" "I finance thieves, not farmers." "Aida, listen to me." "It's my own fault, I know..." "But I can change!" "All I need is a few tools  and a bit of cash to tide me over until the right moment." " But how strange." " What is it?" " Your cards." " My cards?" " They speak of glory, fortune and cash." " You see?" "I was right." " What are you planning?" " You know that jeweller's near the high street?" "Behind that jeweller's there's a fire escape." " At night it's unguarded." " Well?" "From the fire escape you can access the courtyard." " And in the courtyard?" " In the courtyard  they've built a hen-house" " Out!" " Out!" "And don't let me see you here again!" " But I'm hungry." "He who knows how to steal only chickens doesn't have the right to eat!" " Okay, I won't eat..." " Out!" "Out!" " Okay, I'm going..." " Out!" " Anything else?" " No, thank you." "Thank you very much." "A quarter pound of Milanese salami, please." " But I was here before the gentlemen!" " I can't be in two places at once!" "What would you like?" "Tapioca!" "Marietta!" " I won't buy it anymore." " What does that mean?" "I..." "I won't buy it anymore." "It means that I don't want it." "See?" "Salami, how disgusting!" " This is donkey meat." " What?" "!" " Ha!" "This guy..." "They put something in your hand and want you to buy it right away." "I won't buy it anymore." " Please, let me take that for you." " No!" "No!" " Marietta, I need to speak to you." " A kilo of sugar, please." "I know why you're mad at me." "Because the other time I didn't come." "You left me to wait for two hours in the middle of the street." "They took me by force." "I got caught..." "I got caught up in things." "For 3 months I've heard nothing from you." "Didn't you ever have a free moment?" "Not even one, believe me!" " Here's your sugar, miss." " Thanks, put it on my tab." "Got it?" "Put it on her tab." "This is the tab, you put it on it." "Got it?" "Please forgive me, I need to see you." "Just for a moment." " Maybe on Sunday." " So you forgive me." " I shouldn't..." "I shouldn't see you anymore." "There are too many mysteries." " I can change, I swear." " Don't swear." "And on Sunday, don't make me wait another 3 months." "I won't make you wai... are you blind?" "I won't make you wait." " At 2 O'clock?" " At 2, okay." " Where?" "Wait for me..." "wait for me on the corner." " Opposite the chicken seller." " The chicken seller?" "God, no!" "What are you looking at?" "Parrot!" "Oh, I'd love to give guys like him what for." "No, we'll meet in front of the church." " It's more poetic, more sentimental." " Okay." " Yes?" " Okay." " Now I have to go, it's late." "Bye." " Bye." "Please pay at the other counter." "Here's the tin of sardines." "Cut a quarter pound of Parmesan for the lady." "Put that stuff down!" " What do you mean by that?" " You know what I mean." "Thief!" "I'm a thief?" "Me?" "Thief?" "You are the thieves!" "Selling this rotten stuff... .. putting the lives of these poor people at risk!" "Now can you imagine a poor father of a poor family  with a sick wife on her death bed and 7... 8... 10... 12 children  who are all sick as well?" "And these poor creatures who look up at their parents  asking: "Daddy, what is meat?"" "... "Because I'd love to try a small piece."" ""Before I die."" "And what do the poor parents do?" "They take their last pennies  pennies that they needed to buy medicine  or to pay for the wife's funeral." "Because the wife has told her husband not to think about her  but of their children:" "the poor, innocent souls forgotten by God." "And the father agrees to give just one day of happiness  to these poor creatures." "And with his pitiful savings he comes here and what does he buy?" "You know what he buys?" "!" " What does he buy?" " This filth!" "This rotten... this filthy..." "Try it... smell it." "It's poison." "Murderers!" "This stuff is an epidemic!" "Lock them up!" "Stop him!" "Thief!" "Please, ma'am." "A gift of swine." "There he is!" "Thief!" "Oh!" "Excuse me!" "Who are you and what are you doing here?" "Nothing." "I was just passing through." "It was a mistake." "My mother is at home, sick." "My wife is on her death bed." "Four... five children that are hungry." "They don't even know what meat is!" " Come on, come and drink something." " Thank you, you're very kind." "I think I've disturbed you enough." "If you don't mind, I need to get home." "Come in." " My mother is sick..." " Yes." " What will you do with me?" " Take this." "And don't be afraid, we have all the time in the world." "Thank you." " What's your name?" " Tapioca." " Poor Tapioca." " Tapioca?" "But weren't you at Castelnuovo in the year the furniture was stolen  from the police station?" " Of course, yes." " In '92." " But, then  you're the nephew of that old witch, Maria  who used to write anonymous letters to the archbishop." "How do you know that?" "You don't remember?" "You've forgotten me, already?" "I, your little apprentice?" "I was but 10 years old when you took me to church with you  to steal the charity box." " But then you're..." " I was your sister Luisa's boyfriend." " Gastone!" " Gastone Cascarilla." "My dear, how are you?" " Such a dear!" "Such a commotion!" " And how is Luisa?" "She was going to get married." "A wonderful housewife." "Loving, sensible... what's she doing now?" "Six years, for armed robbery." " No!" " But she has her health!" "She certainly was a Southerner, with that wonderful temperament." "But what about you?" "You have a career, you've become a distinguished gentleman." "Elegant, chic, look!" "And what a house!" "What a wonderful house!" "You must excuse me for unknowingly intruding." "Not at all!" "Anyway, it isn't my house." "My house is smaller than this, but it's quite nice." "So then, like me, you're here for..." "To steal." "Not like you, exactly." "No." "My robberies are works of a larger scale." "They speak about them all over the world." "God, no, I don't mean to compare myself to you." "I'm still just a small-time thief of pennies." "A shop thief, a thief of the moment." "You, instead, are not." "You've made it big!" "And then you're younger than me." "You've made a wonderful career out of it." "And now, today, you're my teacher." "But even your work, modest though it is  has its value." " No, you're confusing me with..." "Believe me, Tapioca." "Even the smallest robbery has its meaning." "Its significance." "And if I may say it... it's light." "We are not far from the day on which things will collapse  this putrid society with its class prejudices  and the barriers that separate us." "We are not far from the day on which all the thieves of the world  will be able to rob, side by side, like brothers." "Gastone!" "Gastone!" "You've touched me." "Nobody has ever told me such words of encouragement." " Neither to me, Tapioca." " Gastone." "My dear." "My dear." "Tell me, what are you doing here?" "I've no idea." "Of course, in a house like this  there has to be something." " There will be, or at least there should be." "Soon enough, 10 million will rain down on this house." "10 million?" "!" "10 million?" "!" "Good gracious!" " How is that possible?" " Oh, I'm sure of it." " And do you know who will bring it to me?" " No." " The owner of the house." " The owner of the house?" " Yes." "And you're here?" "Like this, as though nothing is wrong?" "To wait for him?" " But of course." " No, no, my dear Gastone." "No." "If I try to steal a piece of salami, they catch me straight away." "But 10 million?" "No, no, no." "Then, if you don't mind, I'm going to grab something from the kitchen." "... and then I'll be gone!" " Shh!" "I only said "kitchen"..." " Oh God, what is it?" "What's going on?" " Quick!" " Put everything back how it was." " I'm scared!" "Gastone, don't leave me..." "Where are you going?" "Gastone?" "Gastone!" "I'm sorry, Tapioca." "They've returned early." "Now go!" " Gastone!" " Yes, yes, I know." " Go on, now!" " How proud your mother would be, if she was here." "We?" "re better off without her, there are already too many of us here." " Go on, now!" " I'm going!" "No!" "Where did you come in?" "I didn't come in, I fell in." " Go back the same way." " Yes, I'm going." "Bye." "Tell me why you wanted to come back alone." "The house is empty, the maid isn't even here." "Because a woman has the need, every so often, to relax in peace." " In solitude, in rest." " Ah, Noris!" "You're hiding something from me!" "Oh, listen, you've come back just to put your money in the safe." " Don't make this a scene of jealousy!" " I'm jealous because I love you!" "Edmondo, where are you going?" "Your bedroom is over there!" " I thought that... at least tonight..." " Please, don't be vulgar!" " Am I your husband, yes or no?" " Of course." "But why do you think I married you?" "Because you're a millionaire?" "No." "I married you because I love you." " Exactly!" " Because only you know how to treat me, with that touch  that delicacy that us women appreciate above all." "Because only you know such wonderful art and when to withdraw at the right moment." "So withdraw, I'm so very tired." "And if your puppy had a surprise for you?" "So that he could arrange, tonight, for so much more  than you're waiting for?" " Edmondo, at your age!" "I mean to say that I've bought a little present for my Dud?" "." " The emeralds?" " Yes, the emeralds." "And now will you be good for your puppy?" "Oh, darling, you always manage to convince me to do what you want." "Okay, wait... one minute." "One minute!" "Don't be afraid, my lady, and please do not scream." " Anatolio sent me." " Anatolio?" "Yes, I know that your date has been put on hold." "But I couldn't wait." "But... who are you?" "Who gave you permission to enter my room in the middle of the night like this?" "I represent Anatolio." "I have your letters here." " Anatolio has written to me?" " No, your letters to Anatolio." "I didn't realise he was so generous with our correspondence." "Everything but generous, my lady." "If you only know how much I paid for them!" "That rascal!" "He's been selling my letters?" "Don't be so severe with him, my lady." "He had to do it..." "He had a debt of honour to pay." "Here I am, Dud?" "!" " What do you want?" " What do you think I want?" "The little present." "Ah, thank you." " Noris!" "What game is this we're playing?" " So you're shouting now, too?" " Of course I'm shouting." " Where is the man I loved?" " Edmondo, where are you?" " I'm here, Dud?" "." "I'm talking about the Edmondo I loved." "Oh my, what have I done to be treated like this?" "Like a plaything that you can pick up or throw away." "But darling, we agreed." "The case!" "Ah, the case." "If you think that this case gives you the right to forget your sacred vows then  here you go." "Take it!" "Noris!" "Noris!" "Noris!" "Noris!" "It's just us two, now." "With much pleasure, my lady." "May I?" "Perhaps you should start calling this by its real name, this is blackmail." "I don't think it necessary to call things by their real names." " Thank you." " You're welcome." "And what gave you the idea that my husband had brought so much money home?" "Precisely your letter to Anatolio." "Returning together with your husband, so that you had to postpone your date." ""My darling, the only man of my life..."" "We always wrote like that." "He told me that I was the only woman in his life, too." "Instead he was married and had a lover." " You?" " Of course." "How I envy him." "To receive such letters has always been a dream of mine." "Your letter number 25, for example." "Such passion, such impulse!" "And, if I may, such style!" "There is no-one these days who knows how to write like this." "Only D'Annunzio." "Perhaps." "I can believe that." "It was one of his letters that I copied." " Do you know D'Annunzio?" " Intimately." "Poor guy!" "But your letter 27 isn't by D'Annunzio." "Only a woman can write and quiver in such a way." "How was it, now?" "So beautiful..." "Ah, I remember." ""The years run by..." "And like the winter, blow their way across the country  time will pass by my face and turn my hair white.  But in the bottom of my heart I will never forget that night  in which we held one another, madly  next to... the mire." - "The fire", imbecile!" "Ah, yes, perhaps that's right." "I knew there was something that didn't quite..." "But mire or fire, the idea is still pretty." "There was only one other letter that matched it." "One that starts:" ""Like a quiver of wings..." " since you left for Spain..."" " For Spain?" "Yes, Spain." "But that wasn't a letter to Anatolio." " It's a letter I wrote to his uncle." " Ah, yes, it could be." "I was confused." "So you have the letters that I wrote to Anatolio's uncle, too?" "No, my lady, I couldn't..." "get through them." " They were just too much for me." " And all the other ones?" "The ones to your darling, the only man of your life?" " Those ones, yes." " No, those ones are with the widow." "See, the pain has messed with her mind." "She thinks that she wrote them." "She doesn't want to give them to anyone." " Oh, thank goodness." " Though, my lady, if I may..." "You write too much." " I feel so alone." " I wouldn't say so." "Alone!" "Alone!" "Nobody has ever understood me!" "Maybe... maybe you're the first man to have discovered my secret." "My lady, this why I'm here." " What's your name?" " Gastone." " Gastone." "Gastone?" "But of course!" "These eyes, this mouth..." "Gastone Cascarilla." "I'm happy to hear that my name is not unknown to you." "All my friends always talk about you." "Well if I write too many letters  then you my dear distribute too many photographs!" "Gastone Cascarilla is a thief." "And to think, I always wanted to meet him." "Well you've met me know and maybe, one day we'll meet again." "One day?" ""When the winter has blown across the country  and has scattered its snow on my hair"?" " Well no, my dear." "Soon." " When?" "Well I don't know." "Perhaps when you've told me where the safe is." "Again?" "!" "I should call my husband  and have you arrested right away!" " A wonderful idea." "I will show him the letters, you will lose him and that will be that." "Your husband is jealous, impulsive." "And since he's a millionaire has more than enough money." "I don't want to ruin him." " Noris." " Yes, Edmondo?" " Do you want to make peace with your beloved?" "Yes, darling." "One moment!" " So?" " Tell me the code to the safe  and the letters are yours." " How do you know you don't have more?" " I swear on my honour." " Your honour?" "!" "On yours?" "On your husband's?" " That will be helpful..." " We're wasting too much time." " The code is: "Darling Noris"" " How gentlemanly." "And the place?" " In the drawing room, behind the Toulouse-Lautrec." " The fake." " I know." "The letters..." " I'll leave them in the safe." " Dud?" ", I'm cold!" " Here I am, my dear." " Hide yourself." " Goodbye, and good night." " Edmondo my darling." "Let's go." " Noris." " Noris, my sweet." " Edmondo." " Edmondo, finally." " What do you mean, finally?" "Edmondo, for some time you've been so cold and distant... and you no longer have that kindness, that gentleness  that makes your Dud?" "so happy." " What are you saying?" " Enough words, let's not ruin the moment." " Noris." "Do you remember the first time we met?" "I was wearing a dress made of tulle." "You asked me if I wanted to dance  and I turned all red in the face!" "So I danced with my cousin all night  just to spite you and make you jealous." "I wanted to make you suffer." "To be sure that you liked me." " But I love you, Dud?" "." " I don't know, sometimes I just want to run away." " Almost as if there was someone between us." " What are you saying?" "who's putting all these ideas in your little head?" " Dud?" "..." " Yes?" " Let's go to your room." " No!" " Why?" "No, Edmondo, I don't want to." "I feel so alone in that room." " But I would come as well, Dud?" "." " No!" "Darling, no." "Let's stay here." "In my darling Edmondo's room." "Where everything reminds me of you  of our love, of our wonderful life." " Baby..." " Oh, Edmondo!" " That evening..." " Which evening?" "When I met you." "Don't you remember?" "You were so handsome  so thin, so tall." "I only had eyes for you." " Dud?" "..." "What was that?" "Did you hear it?" "I didn't hear anything." "It's nothing, darling." "Come here..." "Edmondo, where are you going?" "!" "Thief!" "Thief!" "Thief!" "stop, thief!" "Delinquent!" "Thief!" "The safe!" "The safe!" "The theft of 10 million!" "The robbery of the century!" "Nothing." "How can you be so deceived by all this?" " You should be investigating!" " Calm down, Commendatore." "I'm confident he's one of the usual crowd." "This isn't the work of an amateur." "Take a look at these too." "How terrible, such ugly faces." "Here!" "It's him!" "It's him!" "But no, you must be mistaken." "What do you know?" "It was I who saw him." "It's him!" "It's him!" "Your breakfast, Sir." "Enter." " Will you be needing anything else?" " No, thank you." "Sir, my mother wrote to me to thank you for the package." "Ah, the package!" "It was nothing." "Give to the poor and you will be rewarded with double in heaven" "Though I don't know what I'll do up there, with all those packages." "Let us through!" " He's in the middle of breakfast!" " Enough!" "The Commissioner has spoken!" " This is my duty!" " Silence." "Please excuse my barging in at this hour, and without notice." "I am Commissioner Zannini, from head office." "We're here because of the robbery at Villa Ornano." "Ah, the robbery!" "I read about it in the newspapers." "Do you have a lead?" "Lead?" "We've found the culprit!" "And this is why we're here." "I understand." "Would you at least allow me to finish breakfast?" " Certainly." " Thank you." " Please, make yourself comfortable." " With pleasure." "No!" "No!" "Excuse me..." "Catalucci, watch what you're doing." "It's nothing." "Please, sit..." " Thank you very much." " You're welcome." "I feel the need to congratulate you on the magnificent efficiency  of the police." " You're very kind." "You should know that it wasn't too difficult." " We were dealing with an imbecile." " Imbecile?" "!" " What gives you the right?" " An imbecile, my dear Sir  he goes by the name of Tapioca." " Tapioca?" " Funny name, eh?" "And it's because of him that we've been forced to disturb you like this." "Tapioca." "How strange." " Some tea?" " Thank you." " A biscuit?" " No, thank you." " Please help yourselves." "So, how can I help you?" "In your house you have in your service a certain Marietta Rossi." "And Tapioca, even though he's a tramp has often been seen in her company." " With Marietta?" " Yes." "Here you go." " Have you ever seen him?" " Here?" "Never." "Tapioca is protesting his innocence." "And refuses to tell us where the money is." "Perhaps he has an accomplice who's hiding it." "Or a young lady." "We've sent an officer  to search the girl's room and ask her a few questions." " For that, you must excuse us." " Think nothing of it." "But I believe that you may be on the wrong track." "I'll happily vouch for the girl." " So?" " Nothing, Commissioner." "I searched everywhere." " See?" " As it is, you must accept our apologies for the intrusion." "Heaven forbid!" "I'm just sorry not to have been more use." "I'm sure that your talents will lead to a quick discovery of the stolen money." "Just as you discovered the culprit." "It's not easy." "They know where to hide stuff, these delinquents." "They hide the loot in the most innocent-looking places." "Under our very nose." "Do you remember the Marioli case, Commissioner?" " Of course." " A fortune in jewellery  and do you know where they hid it?" "In a suitcase like this." "My colleague had no idea that there was a hidden compartment." "Just a simple push and it would have just sprung up." " If only you were there!" " I have a sixth sense for kind these things." "For my next robbery I'll be sure to avoid you then." "Or else I'll be done for." " Thanks again." " Again, please forgive us." " No, it's been very interesting." "Commissioner..." " Goodbye." " Catalucci!" " Oh, excuse me, Sir." "Alfredo, accompany the gentlemen." "Goodbye." " Marietta?" " Here I am, Sir." " Prepare the suitcases, I leave this evening." " Yes, Sir." "Don't cry." "Just be more careful of those you meet." " How long have you known him?" " A few months." " I'm sure that he's innocent." " Oh, I know that." "I mean to say, I'd imagine that he is." "You'll see, they'll solve it before long." "Have faith in justice and dry those tears." "Pay him a visit and take him a shirt or something." " Will they allow me to?" " Yes, I'll see that they do." "I have a few friends in that area." " Oh, if only there were others like you..." " There are, my dear." "In their own way..." " Go now." " Thank you" "Here's a slice of cake." "I made it myself." "You're such a dear." "Here's a blanket, some towels  and a shirt sent by my employer." " Your employer is really very kind." " Oh, very." "You'll meet him one day." "He'll be able to get you a job." "That way you won't have to do such things." " Marietta, believe me." "I'm innocent." " I know you're innocent and I've never doubted you." "Do you think that I'm the kind of person who would steal 10 million?" "That's what I mean, it's easy to see that such a thing isn't possible." "What do you mean by that?" "That I have the face of a..." "The conversation is over." "There are other visitors." " I'll come back soon." " Thank you Marrietta." "Goodbye." " Bye." "Bye." "I am Commendatore Ornano's lawyer." "Ah!" "It's a pleasure..." "Please, sit down." "My client has undergone great suffering  as the result of your crime." "But is willing not to press charges  if you tell us where you've hidden the money." "I see." " No." " What is it?" "Don't be afraid, we're here to help you." "They would never believe me." "We're here, aren't we?" "We'll believe whatever you say." " You're among friends." " You're a good guy!" " It's nothing!" " A good guy!" " What are you doing?" " Good people." "I'm proud to know you, lawyer." "You're good too, Tapioca can tell." "And when Tapioca can tell, it's Gospel!" " You're good people!" " Okay." " You're full of goodness." " Wonderful, thank you." "So tell us, where have you hidden the money?" "I haven't told anyone, even the police." " Well done." " I've written it down in my diary." " But we..." " But I'll tell you right away and you want to know why?" "Because you're good people!" "You have heart!" "The 10 million, I..." "I don't have it." " Who has it?" " You shouldn't ask me this." "Someone very high up, who I can vouch for..." "But..." "Mum's the word." "Enough!" "Delinquent!" "You want to make fun of us?" "!" "I'll make you cough up that money with my bare hands!" " I'll make you cough it up!" " Don't raise your voice at me!" "I don't have the loot." " Delinquent!" " Don't raise your voice!" "Don't raise your voice!" "You don't know who you're talking to!" "What do you want?" "Want me to be hiding the money in here?" "The case!" " Excuse me Mr. Guard..." " Chief guard, if you please." " Could you please get my case for me?" " Which case?" " I left it on the table in the room." " How terrible!" "I'll just go and fetch it." "You're forgetting your place!" "And who you're speaking to!" " Calm down!" " Delinquent!" "Calm down, calm down!" "If I weren't a gentleman, I would take this all the way to high court." "Get out of here!" "Thief!" "Thief, my dear man, a thief!" "You don't deserve to be called anything else." " Please repeat that." " Thief." "There you go." "Please, I didn't call you all here to be insulted." "Then where would you like to be insulted?" "In court?" "In jail?" "Ornano, you sold us something that you did not yet own." "Now it seems as though we won't be refunded because of the robbery." " How are we going to resolve this?" " Clowns." "How did you all obtain your fortunes?" "How do my methods differ from yours?" "In one, essential way Commendatore:" "You've been exposed, we haven't." "Everyone knows what part you had in that scandal." "Two fake societies, one dummy corporation." "Three uncovered cheques." "And the illicit trafficking of products!" "We're among gentlemen, no?" "why rake up the past?" "Let's move the conversation back to a friendly tone." "Leave it be, lawyer." "Ornano, I don't want to waste time." "Are you going to return the money?" "Yes or no?" "With all my heart, my friend." "But, unfortunately, at this moment I don't have it at my disposal." "A millionaire without money?" "A millionaire never has cash." "It is the poor who must humiliate themselves by earning it." "A millionaire lives on credit." "So ask to borrow money from the steel factories in the north." "You're the principal shareholder and steel is on the rise again." "The factories now make women's underwear." "Fiscal reasons..." "too long-winded to explain..." "And silk is falling." " Then who's producing steel?" " The Pharmaceutical Union." "Then go there." "Impossible." "Pharmaceuticals depend on the banking house." "Even better." "Your brother-in-law is the president of the banking house." "My brother-in-law is dead." " Dead?" " Dead?" "Dead?" "Yes, yes he was shot this morning." "This is why I am asking for leniency." "I need to think, to rest." "And why was he shot?" "Because I am bankrupt." "You killed your brother-in-law?" "Believe me, I did everything to prevent it." "So then borrow money from the banking-house reserves." "Impossible, I already did so for my brother-in-law before he committed suicide." "Poor boy, he will leave a big hole behind him." "The rest of the banking house wasn't real, it was fictitious  to fund the steel factories in the north." "But there was money at the beginning of all this mess." "So there must be just some idiot backers you can blame it on." " Of course there are." " And who are they?" "You, naturally." "I don't have the strength to carry on, I'm old." "Sick." "All I'll say is that for the day of the trial, you..." " May I speak openly?" " Please." "If by that day, you do not have all our money  we'll make sure you get sent to jail in the company of your thief!" " I'm sorry, you know." " Of course." " I don't wish to hurt you but..." " No, I understand perfectly." " Goodbye, Edmondo." " Goodbye." "That rogue!" "I'll make sure that Tapioca spits out that cash!" "Believe me Sir, violence won't work with folks like him." "Folks without dignity, without a sense of morals." "It needs shrewdness, subtlety." "Your bicarbonate of soda, Sir." "Battista, excuse me." "Please turn around for a moment." " That's enough, thank you." " Very good, Sir." " Tapioca." " At your service." "I am here at this hour of discouragement and shame  in order to offer you the hand of brotherhood." "Nice to meet you, but I'm afraid I didn't catch your name." "I'm a poor sinner just like you." "Ah, of course!" "I thought so!" "In fact, I was going to say, with that face..." "So tell me, what do you specialize in?" "Robbery?" "Mugging?" "Breaking and entering?" "I am the President of an association  for the redemption of prisoners." " Oh, I'm sorry!" "My job is to bring them back to the straight and narrow  those unhappy souls who have ended up on the slippery slope of crime." " Well, I hear that." " But I can't do it without your help." "Of course, Mr. President." "I'm at your disposal." " But tell me, how does it pay?" " Very well." "It pays in serenity, purity and peace of the heart." " No money?" " Money?" "Isn't it enough, the money that you've stolen?" "You don't understand that you can take away all this evil  just by giving back that which isn't yours  you will be able to find your true wealth once again." "I'm sorry, but there seems to have been a misunderstanding." "I have nothing that is mine." "I only have that which I've stolen." "And that's exactly what I'm saying." "Tapioca, I want to help you to help yourself get out of here." "I want to tell the judges something that will move them deeply." "But first, before this  I have to be certain of your will to gain redemption." "Oh, if you only knew how light a soul is once it has been saved!" "Enough repenting, you must confess." "Confess!" "You have no idea the power of a cleansed soul  a cleansed conscience." "One feels so happy, so at peace." "Like a child again." "Look at me." "Tapioca, do not resist my invitation!" "Do not close your ears at the call of your conscience!" "Listen to the thousands of voices coming from up there!" "Tapioca, Tapioca!" "Tapioca!" "Sir, I'm right here." "Where have you hidden the 10 million?" " So?" " He didn't spill it, Commendatore." "I did everything you told me and in the best way I could." "But I wasn't able to make him tell me anything." " Okay, Battista go and change." " Yes, Sir." " And bring me a bicarbonate of soda." " Very good, Sir." "See?" "He's a cunning one!" "Well, let's not lose hope Commendatore." "Where subtlety fails, sweetness may not." "I've had an idea." "Cell 34." "This is a job you should be doing!" "Tapioca, it's for you." "For me?" "Are you sure?" "Gifts?" "Sweets!" "A shower of sweets!" "Cologne!" "This, I give to you." "A tie!" "I'm whoever you want me to be." ""Let us forget the past." "Ornano."" " Done?" " Yes." "Edmondo, what would do you think of this?" "A nice sport jacket with plus fours." " Yes." " It might be a bit too loud." " This one seems more delicate." " Let's see." "This one?" "Not bad." " How's that?" " It's beautiful." " This darker one is nice too." " Yes." "This one too." "Would you ever believe it?" "I find myself spoilt for choice." "I just don't know which one to choose." "They're all so nice!" "Should we do it then?" " Should we go all the way?" " Yes." "Yes, let's do it." "Tailor, I'll take them all." " Isn't that a bit too much?" " Well no." "It seems like it." "But you can never have enough ties." " This..." " This is a sport jacket, with plus fours." " Edmondo, did I upset you?" " No." "So generous!" " Mr. Tapioca, for you." " For me?" "Excuse me a moment." " All for me?" " Yes." " But it's too much." " You deserve this and more." " Damn, how charming!" "It fell." "There's a note." " It's a note." " A note, yes." "Let's see who it is." ""I will never forget the past." "Gastone"" "Gastone?" "Ah, I've got it!" "Gastone Cascarilla!" "What a darling!" "But they're too much." " I tell you what we'll do." " Yes." "Let's distribute them all to my fellow inmates." " In this cell we have Checchino." " Here you go, Checchino." " Giovannino, 15 years old." " Here you go, Giovannino." " Nicolino, 30 years old." " Nicolino." "And who's this?" "The guy condemned to the guillotine?" "Enjoy your death!" "Goodbye." " And who do we have here?" " The wife-killer." " How wonderful." "And who's this?" " Good day." " Mariuccio." "Life sentence." "Life sentence?" "One package." "Goodbye." "And here we have the one who killed his mother-in-law." "He killed his mother-in-law?" "A national hero!" "Well done!" "THE CHARITABLE THIEF" "TAPIOCA MONSTER OR BENEFACTOR?" "THE SECRET OF TAPIOCA ENTIRE POLICE SEARCHING FOR BOOTY" "QUESTIONS ASKED IN PARLIAMENT ABOUT THE SCANDAL OF TAPIOCA" "THE DIARY OF TAPIOCA" "TAPIOCA TO STAR IN NEW MUSICAL PLAY BY FRANZ LEHAR?" "THE DAUGHTER OF THE PICKLE KING TO MARRY TAPIOCA" "Okay, smile!" " Thank you." " You're welcome." "At ease." "Oh, how many friends!" "Can you answer a few questions?" "What were you doing before you achieved celebrity status?" " Where were you born?" " When did you decide to become a thief?" "Was your family okay with that?" "Behave, behave!" "Don't you see that you're annoying me?" "That you're violating my space?" "Calm down, calm down." " An autograph." " Yes Miss, later on." "Later on." "Who...?" "Miss, you're strangling me." " Miss, enough!" " She's a feisty one!" "A kiss for my baby girl?" " Tapioca listen to me, please!" " Later on." "I need financial backing for a patent." " A marvellous invention!" " Later on." " Unique!" " Tapioca, I am a businessman." "I have a huge amount of capital." "You have the initiative, in society." "I offer you my association." " What business would that be?" " You understand me, yes?" "Okay, okay." "We'll see." " It's you again." " Tapioca, beware!" "He's one of them." " Who?" " All of them want to steal my invention!" " Tapioca." " Just a moment." " Behold, perpetual motion!" " Good gracious!" "The handle moves the gear that turns the cogwheel  and the cogwheel operates the entire mechanism so it never stops!" " Then who handles the handle?" " Me, look!" "Right, you give a cheque for 100,000 lire to this gentleman." " Is it a business opportunity?" " It's a rip-off, I assure you." " Name and surname?" " Alessandro Volta!" "Tapioca!" "Duchess!" "How are things?" "It's great to see you, but you don't love me anymore you rascal!" "I adore you, Tapioca." "But I'm angry with you." "No, I should be angry with you because you haven't paid me a visit in two days!" "But you still haven't sent me an invitation to the trial." "I sent you two this morning, one for you and one for the young girl here." " Thank you." " For the cutie." "May I offer you something?" "A drink?" "Guard!" " Please, call me Michele." " No, I don't like Michele." "I shall call you Michel!" " Michel, very good Sir." " Listen, Michel." " We want a drink." " What kind of drink?" "A drinky-drink!" "Sir." " Not bad, what is it?" " A "Tapioca", Sir." "Ladies and gentlemen, we present to you the new dance that everyone is doing!" "A sensational dance!" "Ladies and gentlemen, the Tapioca!" " Edmondo?" "Edmondo!" " Yes!" "Yes?" "I want to be alone." "As you wish, my dear." "You should feel the need to ask." "We will see you tomorrow." "Not unless you have anything to tell me." "No, I don't have anything to tell you." "Okay, we'll see you tomorrow." " Edmondo?" " Yes!" "Yes?" " Do me a favour." " Two!" "Give a little something to the guard, it's his wife's name-day." " Get her a proper gift." " As you wish." " Edmondo?" " Yes?" "Do you ever think about that money?" "You know I do, all the time." "Money doesn't always bring happiness." "I know, but it satisfies me all the same." " Where did you hide it?" " Edmondo, leave me alone." "I'm completely tired out." "We'll talk tomorrow at the trial." "Please, don't be excessive." "Okay, we'll talk tomorrow." "Tomorrow." "Edmondo?" " Edmondo?" "Edmondo!" " Here I am!" " Don't make me shout myself hoarse." "I'm sorry." "Are your hands clean?" " Yes." "What?" " Okay, do me a favour." "Turn the light off for me." "Noris, remember  that Mother loved her trials ... and she always said that it was important to cry at the right moment." "There will be no need for that, darling." "I'm going there to testify." " I have nothing to hide." " I know." "I beg you, don't wear that blue dress  otherwise who will look at me?" "She's right, one should go to court dressed all in black, without jewellery." "Yes, but only when you're the accused." " Only when you're the accused." " That's not true." " At my trial..." " When you were with that poor Alfonso?" "Yes, I think." "I was all in white with a lovely pink hat." "Because you wanted to state your innocence, my darling." "The most important rule is that the accused should wear a suit." "Some jewellery, but without overdoing it." "Unless you're a parent of the victim, in which case it should be black." " And to testify?" " It depends." "If it's a crime of passion, then a blood red outfit  might be good to give a certain impression." "And if they killed for you?" "In that case you should wear all the jewellery you own, my dear." "It's your moment, then or never." "My lady, I wanted to inform you that the Commendatore has returned." "Ah, finally!" "My darlings please excuse me but I must ask you to leave." "We are already late." "Oh, my dear you're right." "Goodbye." "My darling, goodbye  and good luck!" "Goodbye darling" "I can't wait to hear you speak." "Goodbye and remember not to smile at the President." "Not unless he smiles first." " Darling?" " Yes?" "Do you remember that Gastone who wanted to meet you?" " Gastone Cascarilla?" " Yes!" "He returned from Paris yesterday." "Tomorrow I'll introduce you when we have tea at Florio's house." "Bye, darling Goodbye." "Goodbye." "Finally, I was beginning to get worried." "Hurry up and change or else we'll be late for the trial." "What's wrong?" " Noris, do you love me?" " Of course, but now go and get changed." "Your affection is all I have left." "I tried to hide this from you for as long as I could." "That robbery has ruined me, Noris." "Edmondo, it was just 10 million." "Yes, my dear." "But there was another 100 million that depended on that." "See, it's like taking a brick from the bottom of a tower." "Everything crumbles." "There will be a string of scandals." "They will take everything, maybe worse." " You will be by my side, won't you Noris?" " By your side?" "!" "And you dare to ask that after you've deceived me in this way?" "But I've always been faithful to you." "Oh, there are many ways to deceive a woman." "Especially a simple and naive woman like me." "A little girl like me who needs protecting." "Let me finish!" "You gave me this protection." "But if now you want to throw away all your money and ruin yourself  then that changes everything." "It goes against the sacred foundation of our relationship." " And marriage is a sacred thing." " But Noris!" "I demand from you the same loyalty that I've always given." "Are you ruined or not?" "If that thief tells me where the money is, then I won't be." "Oh, that's good." "So my happiness depends upon a thief." "How is it my fault that he stole 10 million from me?" "10 million?" " Noris..." " 10 million!" "What do you want?" "Gastone, my darling!" "Darling!" "In you come, put them over there." "Put that suitcase down there." "And those furs on the sofa." " Yes, my lady." " Be careful!" "My dear lady, I don't mean to offend but will your husband be coming too?" "No, don't worry about that." "Could you pay the porter please?" "Thank you, Sir." "No, it will just be the two of us." "Doesn't that make you happy?" "Oh, I'm overjoyed." "But what about your husband?" " My husband is dead..." " What?" " ...to me." "Yes my darling I believed in him, I had so much respect for him." "But today Edmondo removed his mask and revealed what he really his." "A ruined man." "Finished." " I see." " Now we can be together forever." "How wonderful!" "And what did I do to deserve such a thing?" "Now, if I may, I must go to the trial." "We'll talk this evening, okay?" "No, Gastone!" "Let's forget the robbery and the trial." "Let's forget this whole horrible story." " But aren't you supposed to testify?" " No, I'm not going." "Suppose that I become bored and become so distracted  that I accidently spill the truth." "And I'm so bad at lying" "How can I ever resist you?" "Only I want to be honest with you, I live for my work." "And I couldn't offer the kind of luxury you're used to." "Oh, money doesn't interest me." "10 million is enough for me." "How sweet you are to me, my love." "Thank you for giving me such joy." "My love!" "Luxury, cynicism, folly." "Wild lives in the fast lane." "... this is the plague of our time." "Just as rust corrodes shiny metal  this immortality has killed the virtues of our forefathers." "And I say this, not just as a representative  of the accused, but also as a man of the community." "Good, bravo!" "Bravo!" "I'm proud to have you as my defence!" "Silence!" "Do not interrupt the prosecutor." "I just wanted to make my feelings known." " Silence!" " Okay, just ignore me." "Please, continue." "And it was the corruption of our time  that has created this absurd aura of popularity around the accused  and almost admiration!" "But let us return to the facts and paint the accused for what he really is." "A man encumbered by sin, a monster." "How is this allowed?" "To insult the physical aspects of a gentleman?" "!" "President, I want that noted down!" "Edmondo, did you hear what that brute said?" " Will you be quiet?" " Only if I get respect!" " I want it noted down." " Silence!" "Note it down in silence." "Hands off, I'm a gentleman." "Do you admit that the accused stole salami from you on the evening of the 23rd?" "I wouldn't say that he stole it, he must have taken it by accident, as a joke." "A man that rich has no need  to come and steal in my small shop, Mr. President." "So did you or did you not denounce the accused for the theft  of two crates of tomatoes?" "Not me, that was my husband, bless his soul." "Out of jealousy." " But you do say that he stole them?" " I wouldn't dream of it." "It was a present." "The only one, unfortunately." "Do you admit to having denounced the accused  over the theft of a chicken?" " No, the chicken followed him home  because it loved him, and I feel exactly the same way." "Right." "Let us now see whether the wife of the victim is vulnerable  to the mysterious charm of the accused." " Chancellor, please." "Mrs. Ornano." " Mrs. Noris Ornano." "Gastone, darling, I've changed my mind." "Let's not go to Paris, but to Montecarlo." "For a week or two." "Gastone?" "Gastone." "Your tea, Miss." "Sir had to leave the house  on urgent business." "Where has he gone?" "He didn't say, Miss." "But he left 5 minutes ago." "And when is he coming back?" "I wouldn't know, the last time he was away for two years." "Milk?" "I would like, therefore, gentlemen of the court  to ask you to appreciate this upstanding quality  that makes my client so rare and precious  in this corrupt age." "Bravo!" "A good soul, friend to the poor and the oppressed." " An apostle of love, and of brotherhood." " Bravo!" "Congratulations!" "An apostle?" "An apostle, I might add, whose criminal record.." "... is far from clean." "I wish to ask the accused, your honour  if he remembers being arrested at the age of 12 years old  for the theft of various items of food  in the sea town of..." "Castelnuovo?" "Castelnuovo?" "Of course I remember." "The sea, the oranges..." "I was just a little kid about yay high." "How time flies..." " Let us stick to the facts." " Let us do that." " Do you admit to committing this crime?" " Of course." "Yes." "Your honour, the first theft is like the first love, you never forget it." "And why did you do it?" " Because I was hungry." " And that seemed like a good reason?" "Why don't you try and find a better one?" "Shh!" "Please." "Yet here it states that you were not some kind of waif." "You lived with one of your Aunts, did she not give you anything?" "My Aunt, God rest her soul, everything that she could steal  she stole for herself." "A form of senile egoism." "You know, the chronic kind..." ""Arrested for the theft of a dress."" " True." " More "various items of food"." " Exactly." "And it didn't humiliate you to commit all those crimes?" "Yes, but as I've been told so many times  I wasn't made for big things." "Silence or I'll clear you all out!" "And what would you call this theft of 10 million?" " A small thing?" " No, heaven forbid..." " ... that is a work of class." " So you admit to committing the crime?" "Respond!" "Tapioca!" "Are you innocent or guilty?" "Well!" "?" "Did you steal it or not?" "Tapioca, your silence leaves us in no doubt." "Your honour, if I may, I would like to say a couple of things." "Look at these people." "Many of them came here today to enjoy themselves." "But you know that among them, there are many who see in me a possible benefactor." "They came to find me they have written me letters." "Requesting help and money, etc." "They say: "He was a poor wretch like us  now that he's rich, perhaps he will help us, listen to us."" "How can I say no?" "Besides, when you are a poor thief who steals pennies  they kick you in the behind." "But when they hear about the theft of 10 million." "... everything changes!" "Look!" "See how things have changed?" "Prison became a paradise." "Everyone has been so kind and loving." "Even the victim treats me well." "Edmondo, is it not true that you and I get on really well?" "Right now he's being modest." "But when we're together we get on like a house on fire." "And now I must confess that I cried after leaving my cell." "After all it's the only house I've ever had." "I slept so well with those bars and that window." "I felt protected from thieves." "In fact, I wish to thank the director, the guards... .. the chief guard and all the friends I made there." "Thank you friends." "Thank you to everyone, I will never ever forget you." "Bravo!" "Very good!" "Silence!" "So do you plead innocent or guilty?" "How can there be any doubt?" "!" "I'm guilty!" "I have the 10 million!" "No!" "That's a lie." "Mr. President, I have a testimony that will decide the fate of the trial." "I object!" "This testimony has not been cited correctly!" "The testimony could be useful in the search for justice!" "What I have to say cannot be ignored." "Allow the man to speak." "My name is Gastone Cascarilla." "I was in the Ornano house the night of the robbery." "What were you doing there?" "I am almost always in the places in which a robbery is made." "Just as long as it's a robbery of a certain importance." "That's not true, your honour." "Don't listen to him!" "Will you stop interrupting?" "My poor Tapioca!" "You're so very naive." "Do you really believe that you must declare yourself guilty  in order to be accepted in society?" "That would be too easy." "People are not satisfied by words, they want proof." "You speak of money?" "They want to see it, touch it." "Smell it." " And this money... you don't have it!" " What?" "!" " What are you saying?" " Mr President, this man did not commit the crime." "Your honour this is slander!" "I am the thief!" "My people, I am the thief!" " God damn!" " Tapioca, my friend." "I have spent years creating a style for myself, a technique." "To one day get to this level." "And you wish to deny me my glory?" " Steal my masterpiece?" " Masterpiece?" " What masterpiece?" " The theft of 10 million." "Tapioca is not the thief, it is me." " Oh really?" "Prove it." " Wait!" "Here!" " Arrest him!" " Stop him!" "Tapioca!" "Tapioca!" " Please, take some." " What is it?" "I want to return all the kindness you've shown to me." "Thank you, that's very kind." "But I wouldn't know what to do with it." "Take it, you may need it for one of your new inventions." "Tell me, my friend, do you have anything new?" " Lots!" " Ah, yes?" "I have a steam clock, a horse with pedals." "And I have a radiator powered by wind, that works like this..." "Yes, that works." "Though take it, you might need it." " My friend, what's your name?" " Leonardo da Vinci." "Goodness gracious me!" "I'll never forget that name." "Bye, Leonardo say "hello" to Da Vinci." "And please, keep that radiator closed." "But the Tapioca Scandal didn't finish there..." "Years later we meet up with our three thieves in the  most beautiful city in Europe." "They still have something else to say..." " Oh, finally!" "We've been waiting for you for half an hour." " And time is money." "I'm sorry." "Anyway, I had to accompany Marietta shopping." " Again?" " Yes." "She's got it into her head that she doesn't want to live in our building anymore." " She wants to live in the Louvre." " Oh, only the Louvre?" "Please, gentlemen." "Anyway, to us!" "Gentlemen, I have had the chance to acquire some letters  written by the wife of an the head of the secret service." "And as you're both aware, he is very much the jealous type..."