"Been away for a few days." "Mrs. Peel!" "If you get bored, fiind something to amuse yourself!" " Mrs. Peel!" " Yes." " How can I help you?" " a delivery for Mrs. Emma Peel." "That's me." " From your friend Steed." " Steed?" "a small fat man, grey moustache." "Of course, I remember." "Thank you." "May I?" " What's in it?" " Don't you know?" " Should I?" " I thought you would." " I don't." " a lobster." " Super!" " Where shall I put it?" "Here?" "No unless it's sleepy!" "That's the bedroom." "There's the kitchen." "How was he?" "Steed!" " Oh, well..." " Good!" "as well as possible..." "Of course!" "I've more lobsters to deliver." "Good day, Mrs. Peel." "Good day!" " Emma Peel." " Emma?" "It's old lover boy himself." "I'm back from Karachi." "Be right there." "Hoity-toy!" "Be right there..." "Lover boy..." "Follow her." "I'll tell him." "Thank you." "Lot 17 has been safely stowed." " No shipping problems?" " None." "Excellent. and what about operation "Castoff"?" "In progress." "So everyone associated with... the fake Mrs. Peel..." "Will be eliminated." "First the theatrical agents." "Start explaining." "You're not Emma Peel, but who are you?" " Wasn't I convincing?" " No." "Well?" " Georgie Price-Jones." " Hello, Georgie." "Why are you imitating Mrs. Peel?" "I was hired to." " Where's the real Mrs. Peel?" " I don't know." "I answered an advertisement to impersonate her." "You were briefed in here...?" "By a Mr. Lamb." "Where's he got to?" "That's where he got to." "Was anyone else here when you were hired?" "advertising men, Bates and Marshall." " What are you looking for?" " Clues." "I see!" "Clues..." ""11 o'clock, appointment with auntie."" "Listen to this:" ""S1K9K2 Togg Tubble"." "Well?" "It's a code!" "It seemed very cluelike." "Bates and Marshall?" "a check made out to me." "The 1st half of my fees." "Drawn against Barrett, Barrett  Wimpole." "Mrs. Barrett?" "Barrett... and Wimpole." "Six bodies in 1 hour and 20 min." " What do you call that?" " Good fiirst act." " Where next?" " I don't know." "You disappoint me, Miss Price-Jones." "Let's try this." ""S1K9K2 Togg Tubble"." "Toggs... clothes..." "Theatrical costumiers." "They supplied the clothes." "The Jacques brothers." "John, Paul, George and Fred." "Hello!" "anyone home?" "I've heard of history repeating itself..." "Losing your touch." "This one isn't dead." "auntie... auntie... did it." " auntie?" " auntie who?" " Know what I think?" " Tell me." "Your friend Peel was kidnapped." "It had occurred to me..." " Great minds..." " Don't they?" "They'll demand a ransom." "I don't think so." "Dead end." "There's always S1K2K9." ""Tubble Togg"." "Now where is it?" "I'm sure I left it here, but where?" "There it is!" "My pattern." "I'd knew I'd left it here." "Naughty boys!" "always up to some game!" "Madame..." "Naughty... but so sweet." "Don't you think so?" "You knowthem?" "John, Paul, George and Fred?" "Of course I knowthem." "You can get up now." "They're my favorite nephews." "Really." " Nephews?" " Naturally." "and I think that I'm their favorite auntie." "So kind to invite me home for tea." "Such a charming gesture!" "So rare these days!" "But I should have had a word with John," " Paul, George and Fred." " They were resting." "They wished to remain undisturbed." "I understand." "absolutely dead... to the world." "It runs in the family, heavy sleepers." "Madame..." "Do you mind if I knit?" " Your nephews..." " John, Paul, George and Fred." "Dear boys, all of them." "Dear, dear boys." "I would love to do you in poodle wool." " They had a visitor today." " Yes, me." "I call on Thursdays." "Lovely." " Have you seen this before?" " Oh, yes." "My dear!" "You're a member too?" " Of what?" " Surely you must know." "The "arkwright Knitting Circle"." "This way, dear boy." "Look alive!" "Take a pair of 5!" "Cast on." "Not too fast, not too slow, knit along away we go!" " Mr. arkwright!" " Sh!" "Lovely to see you again." " Don't spoil the concentration." " Quite." "Before tea, is a critical time." " Mr. arkwright." " Yes." " Mr. Steed." " How do you do?" "He's interested in our little circle." "Really?" "Thank you." "Do you knit?" "You should." "It's a neglected art." "It binds the family, calms the home." "Listen to the sheer serene sound of clicking needles." "Excuse me." "Nimble and sprite, cast to the left, and the right." "One pearl, one plain, two pearl, and back again." "I used to leave the offiice tired and irritable." "Nowadays, half an hour's knitting gives me peace of mind." "Peace of mind." "I've scooped the pool." "This is the cream of the nation's knitters." "See Mrs. Bullsover." "Beautiful mover!" "No forcing." "Mrs. Grampion-Hardy, quite a different technique." "Very sharp, very precise." "But joy, all joy." " Do you recognize these?" " Do I!" "This is a special 00." "Some were stolen last week." "Why steal them?" "Sabotage, put us behind a week." " Who did it?" " If only I knew..." " anything else?" " No, thanks for your help." "Don't forget our motto:" ""When you're tired and depressed," ""spending more, enjoying less, knit along with arkwright."" "Ivanoff..." "Knitting!" "Resting." "Didn't know you were interested in art? "art, Inc. "" "It's for a friend." "I see." "Go gently with your umbrella." "Spritely, but not eager." "Eagerness, untrustworthy." "almost as bad as enthusiasm." " Nice to see you again." "Good day." " Ivanoff..." " You've forgotten something." " What?" " You didn't ask about Mrs. Peel." " Should I?" " You usually do." " So how is she?" "She's away for a few days." "I'm expecting her soon." "Round the block." "If you don't mind." "Gracious, it's Mr. Steed!" " Why, I had no idea..." " It's my fault." "I heard some scuffling..." " We thought you were a burglar." " a needle thief." "He looks shaken." "Perhaps a wool muffler...?" "Thanks, I'm quite all right." "If I'd know it was you..." "Payment will be made as usual." "No mess, no fuss." "Our deception hasn't worked." "a man named Steed came back early from holiday." "The fake Mrs. Peel must be eliminated." ""Use the force of the attacker." ""Bring the knee into the rib cage of the opponent..."" "Must have aggressive boyfriends." ""Take the right hand, with the left elbow pointing down."" ""Take the right hand of your opponent..." ""With the left elbow pointing down."" ""If attacked from behind with a knife or a gun," ""place your right hand" ""over right shoulder, grasping the attacker's wrist."" "My gosh!" "Oh, my gosh!" "Don't do anything hasty!" "Steed!" "I thought you were an old lady." " I do take after my granny." " You all right?" "I should get my arm and hat on." "What's this about an old lady?" "One just attacked me." "and at her age, too!" "She could have been a grandmother." "Or auntie." "Well?" " It's hard to say." " Get a bit closer." "Can you knit?" "I take 9 and 3/4 in socks." "Nothing too garish..." "Hello, sir." "Can I help you?" "Possibly..." "Yes." "Defiinitely." "The air swirls, my nerve endings are tingling." "I must have a rapport with my surroundings..." "I can do business here." "May I have your name, sir?" "My name?" " Wayne Penny Feather ffiitch." " ffiitch?" "With 2 small "f's." "Doubtless you know of me." " Well..." " Naturally." "a Gibson, painted on a Thursday." "Only upstrokes." "Gibson never used downstrokes on a Thursday." "How can we help you?" "Your boast:" "the unobtainable obtained." "Sorry, but we only do business with clients who are... personally recommended." "I look forward to your next visit, your ladyship." " au revoir ." " Goodbye." "Don't forget your bag, Lady Bracket." "Thank you very much." "What kind of treasure did you want?" "'Tis not for your Botticelli ears." " Perhaps for the boss..." " I'll let you know." "Sorry, that is the way we work." " We'll be in touch." " as you say." "Good day." "Cast on and watch it grow." "Knit one, pearl one, away we go!" "Count to 10 and back again." "Row after row, on we go." "Nimble needles to and fro, keep right on til the end of the row." "We are rusty, aren't we?" "Don't rush it." "It's all in the grip." "That's better." "One, two, three, think of a waltz." "One, two, three..." "Very promising." "Nice, natural action there." "Very good." "So is that, very good." "Grab that skein, begin again." "Knitting's friendly, smart, fun." " My dear, how are you today?" " Hello." "I got it to deal with my nephew." " Nephew?" " The youngest, on my brother's side." "This should keep him quiet." " Very." " I hope so." "You don't think it's too old for him?" "He's only 6." "I think it's lovely." "absolutely splendid, it's a wonderful gun." " ffiitch?" " Wayne Penny Feather." "Don't know him." "What did you think?" "He could be our sort." "Come." "We'll check him." "This ffiitch, see what you can fiind out." "a personal call, I think." "He claims to be an art expert." "Georgie!" "any luck knitting?" "almost any of them could be mine." " Where did you get it?" " Like it?" " It's beautiful, but..." " National Gallery." "The Doña Isabel, Goya." " You didn't steal it?" " No, just borrowed." "They often lend priceless paintings?" "Only to true patrons." " Hide." " Why?" "I knewthey'd be quick." " Good afternoon." " Good afternoon, madame." " It's for the dog's home." " a worthy cause." "Come in." "Our 4-legged friends need all the help they can get." "Bones or cash?" "Money, if you don't mind." "Excuse me." "I'll go get my wallet." " Charming, isn't it?" " Delightful." "Great affiinity between subject and artist." "True rapport." "Braided visually in harmonies of rose and black, flesh and silk." "Luminous paint, luminous glance." "Quite so." "This should do for a couple of cold noses." "Most kind of you." "Someone must pay for the postman's trousers." "Noble of you." "Old ladies are everywhere." "Was it her?" "I'm not sure." "In any case, they've taken the hook." " What next?" " Nefarious skullduggery." "alone." "Going to a party... fancy dress." "admiring the brushwork, Mr. ffiitch?" "I didn't think you'd shoot if I were by a Da Vinci." "You were right." " May I take that for you?" " If you don't mind." " May I turn around?" " Surely." " I haven't had the pleasure." " I am auntie." " Gregorie auntie." " How do you do?" "I must admire your persistence." " Your intiative." " Too tempting." ""Unobtainable obtained"." "Sounds extravagant, but our organization is unique." "We can get you anything, anything at all." " at a price." " Sometimes a very high one." "I've had her 3 weeks." "I'm reluctant to let her go." "The Louvre probably was too..." "They know nothing." "I put a very nice copy in its place." "So that's how you work:" "by replacing the original." "That seems to be the fairest way." "But I don't have to tell you." "Your Goya, Doña Isabel ..." "I was in the Gallery yesterday, the reproduction..." " You like it?" " I do indeed!" "If I might inquire who... a jolly Flemish painter, Goya specialist." "I have his address." "I'm impressed with your connections." "and I'm impressed with your spies." "You know all." "Brandy, perhaps?" "From the Tower of London." " a votre santé." " a la vôtre." " What can I get for you?" " anything at all?" "No task is too formidable." "Do you know what I'm working on?" "Transporting the Eiffel Tower." " Where to?" " a Texas millionaire has taken a fancy to it." "Reminds him of his derricks." " Isn't that sweet?" " Diffiicult." "acquiring it?" "It's arranged." "The diffiiculty is smuggling it out of Paris." "a human being would be easier." "Have you tried that?" "The odd diplomat, or occasional scientist." "There's a small market, a demand." " Is it a human being you wish?" " a woman." "Her mind..." "Yes, her mind... could be of the utmost value to me." " Her name?" " Peel." "Mrs. Emma Peel." "Not such a good brandy." "You're 10 days too late." "We've acquired her for another client." "She's our Lot 17." " Ivanoff." " I never divulge names." " I'll double his offer." " Sorry." " Triple it." " I'm tempted." "Very tempted..." "Well then?" "I must refuse." "I have a certain reputation." "Mrs. Peel is not for sale." "If you were interested by a fiirst folio of Hamlet, from the British Museum" " 2 nights ago." " Sorry to tell you..." " a copy." " You don't mean..." "I have the original." "I'll exchange it for Mrs. Peel." "Mrs. Peel is not for sale but perhaps some other time..." "I hope so." " Where are you holding her?" " Glad to have met you." " Good night." " Good night." "and how is Lot 17 tonight?" "You'd like to spread your wings and fly." "Do have some grapes." "Feeding me up?" "I fiind you perfectly adequate." "and your popularity is increasing." "Encouraging." "First Ivanoff, now Mr. ffiitch." " ffiitch?" " With 2 small "f's." " You know him?" " No." "Charming fellow." "and that rarity, a real English gentleman." " Still don't know him?" " I'm sure." "I was thinking, if I had a vat," "I could tread these, make my own wine." "You won't be here that long." "a pity, I enjoy beautiful things." "and you're very beautiful." " But in 2 days, you'll be gone." " Where?" "That depends on Ivanoff." "You must have a remarkable mind, for him to pay so much." "You have many secrets?" "No matter." "That's his problem." "I hope he'll treat you well." "although knowing his methods..." "Where you're going, this cage will seem like paradise." " What next?" " Selling you to the enemy." "What?" "!" "What's so special about this Emma Peel?" "You'd think she was Marie Curie to the 10th power." "Her vital statistics." "The IQ variety." "Hold that." "She knows about cyphers, scented fuels, cybernetics." "That's what Ivanoff's interest." "Well, I nearly passed through college." "I was going..." "Excuse me." "What are you doing?" "Charming." "Who's there?" "Special delivery." "Perishables." " Pay the driver." " Now?" "The meter's ticking." "and a tip?" "Of course!" " Should I wait?" " Why?" "To help you." " What's that?" " Forget it!" "Where is she?" " Mrs. Peel, where is she?" " I don't know." "auntie's got her, but where at?" "Honestly, I don't know." "auntie wouldn't tell me." "What price is he asking for it?" "140 000 american dollars." "It's over here." "In the briefcase." "We'll take it." "If he moves, point this..." "at his 2nd button." "From the top or the bottom?" "Suit yourself." "Steed here." "I have a parcel for you." "I'm with it now." "What?" "Hush it up?" "Of course not." "Give it maximum publicity!" "You have to admire his technique." " Technique?" " ffiitch." "This is his handywork." "Really?" "When you're after the same product as someone else, you have 2 choices:" "outbid your opponent, or eliminate him altogether." " Do you think he'll get Mrs. Peel?" " He wants her." "But will he get her?" "No, I don't think so." "If he's got the money..." "We must make him prove it." " How?" " Put her up for auction." "I'll circulate the details." "Particularly to the Eastern block." "Do you think Ivanoff will talk?" "Visitor for you." "Your mother." "Mother?" "Do they treat you well?" "I've told nothing." "It's Steed!" "It's his doing." "Honestly, it's Steed!" "Believe me." "Please!" "I said once, twice..." "Come now, keep with the price." "1.5 million." "Can you advance on 1.5 million?" "1.5 million against you." "1.5 million?" "Can you advance?" "Splendid, isn't it?" "Splendid example of fiilthy, decadent" "Western art. 1.6 million." "1.6 million." "any advance on 1.6 million?" "No?" "Sold to the gentleman there." "I'll have it delivered to your hotel." "I mean, your submarine, of course." "and now, the last item, a very unusual one." "Marked in your catalogue as Lot 17." "Mrs. Emma Peel." "a desirable acquisition." "She carries the position of most Western defense bases in her head." "an unequalled cypher expert, she'd be a splendid addition to any intelligence system in the world." "I must make it clear, I cannot quarantee she'll betray her secrets." "That's up to you." "But she does carry some very special ones." "I ask that bidding begin at the reserve price of 50 000 pounds." " 90 000 roubles." " Thank you." "I open bidding at 50 000." "60." "70." " I hear 80." " 90." "I'm bid 90 000." "90 000 pounds." "Come now, gentlemen, it's still cheap." "Observe this talented lady." "She looks broody." "Can you have her move about?" "Certainly." "That's better." "I like to see what I'm buying. 100 000." " 110." " 111." " 112." " 114." " 115." " 116." " 117." " 200 000." "Think of the budget." "No more vodka." "I'm bid 200 000." "200 000 pounds." "For this outstanding example pulchritude and learning." "200 000 once." "Twice." "Sold to Mr. Wayne Penny Feather ffiitch." "Your persistence is rewarded." " When can I collect?" " Immediately." "Lot 17 is in our secret store." " Far?" " You'll see." "Steed!" "Steed!" "Steed!" " Steed." " Steed!" "Steed!" "Destroy Lot 17!" "Follow her." "Very enigmatic." "She went that way." "along again to the end of the row." "a do-si-do." "I won't break concentration." "Stop it!" "Please." " Where is she?" " In there." " I really must..." " Unavoidable" " What are they knitting?" " a bungalow." "Calm down, ladies!" " No cracks about gilded cages." " as if I would." "You all right?" "We've been worried..." "Mrs. Emma Peel, meet Mrs. Emma Peel." "How do you do?"