"Okay, lasagna looks good." "I cannot wait." "Huh, Michael?" "I don't get that excited about food." "If I could take a pill instead of eating, I'd be happy." "lf they make that, I get your food." "I get your pill." "Yeah, you just try to take it." "Hi, guys." "Hey, Alex." "Mom made some lasagna." "You wanna join us?" "No, that's okay." "I have a healthy frozen dinner in the microwave." "It only has four grams of-- Oh, God, real food." "What piece would you like?" "What do you mean?" "Are there different kinds?" "All right, class is in session." "There are four distinct types of lasagna pieces, okay?" "In the corners are the corner pieces, also known as" "The Joey." "And we have the edge pieces, here, here, here and here." "And we have the middle." "And what's the fourth kind?" "The piece with Mom's hair in it." "And today there's a fifth kind." "I lost my nail in there." "I guess I'll have a middle." "She would go for that, huh?" "Subtitles downloaded from Podnapisi.NET" "Are they talking about me in Italian?" "No, they can't speak Italian." "They just like to pretend they can." "Gina, this is incredible." "You gotta teach me how to make this." "Dear God, look at her." "I know." "It's disgusting." "I love you." "And, action." "I don't know if I can do this." "I haven't been with anyone since my wife died three weeks ago." "I think I can make you happy." "No." "Cut!" "He's fragile here." "I need you to look into his eyes." "Here, I'll show you." "Skin, germs, gloves!" "It should be like this." "I think I can make you happy." "Hey, you have freckles." "Joey, focus." "I think I can make you happy." "I wanna be happy." "Then let me do this." "I want it more like that." "Yeah, that was good." "Do it like that." "Then we'll end the scene with your daughter running in and interrupting you." "Okay?" "Why don't we take five." "Then we'll come back and finish shooting the scene." "And, Joey, "five" does not mean five hours." "You made that clear yesterday." "Thank you." "Hey." "I didn't like watching you be all flirty with Lauren." "Come on." "You know I only have eyes for my daughter." "Joey, can I see you for a minute?" "Yeah." "So you and Katie." "What's going on there?" "Well, I'm a gentleman, so let's just say I'm still circling the airport  butI havebeengiven permission to land." "I'm gonna leave you hanging on that one." "So look, Joey, I've worked on a lot of shows before..." "... andromancesbetween costars never work." "This isn't a problem." "I know how to handle women." "It's the thing I'm second best at in the world." "What's the first?" "Acting." "This kind of thing can get messy." "I've seen it happen before." "If it's that important to you, I'll break it off with Katie." "Thank you." "But, hey..." "... ifI discontinueservicetothis airport, can I make one emergency landing?" "Hey." "Hi." "What's going on?" "I'm teaching Alex how to make sauce." "She's gonna make a lasagna." "Eric's back in town." "I'm making it for him." "Right, your husband." "When you're ready, I got questions about why he's away." "Okay, I'm not ready." "What are you doing?" "You said to put a teaspoon in." "Just go like this." "God." "God, you have got to loosen up." "Cooking comes from the heart." "It is passionate, sensual." "You gotta let go of everything." "Come on." "Let's do some hip rolls." "You've seen enough?" "Oh, yes." "Lauren saw us together, and she thinks it's a bad idea." "What?" "She's against on-set romance  eveniftheresultingsexisguaranteed to be satisfying and vigorous." "That's terrible." "I know this is hard." "It's hard for me too, but she's our boss." "We have to listen to her." "Okay, we have to stop." "Do we?" "Maybe not." "What do you got?" "Well, what if we're together, but it's a secret?" "I don't know." "Lauren seemed pretty serious." "Come on." "You are officially cleared for landing." "That is a strong argument." "All right." "But if we're gonna be together in secret  we have to be really, really careful." "t's not like Lauren 's gonna catch us." "She's too busy washing her hands." "Well, no one's watching us now." "Wait." "Is that camera on?" "No, / can tell when it's on." "Yeah, it's off." "Hey, guys." "Hey, Alex." "Hey, Gina, that lasagna turned out so well." "My husband loved it, and I played with the recipe a tiny bit..." "... addeda secretingredient..." "... and I think it might've turned out better than the one you made." "She didn't mean better." "Better?" "I thought she said "different."" "It turned out better than mine?" "I didn't mean it as an insult." "You taught me." "You should be happy that I improved it." "She had such a pretty face." "I wanna taste it." "But we ate it all." "Make another one." "You're just gonna say it's not good." "Then we'll have a taste test, and they'll judge." "Exactly where I hoped this was going." "Wait a second." "Taste test?" "Doesn't anyone here have a job?" "What do you say?" "Are we on?" "No, I'm not having a lasagna taste test." "Why?" "Is fear your secret ingredient?" "You're on!" "I thought it wasn't gonna happen." "Then she said the thing." "Now they're gonna do it." "Yeah, we were all here, Joey." "I'm gonna go and get started." "Good." "I'll get to the store." "I have to buy my secret ingredient." "If my grandmother didn't need it and my mother didn't, I don't need it." "You said the same about therapy." "I'm not sure you're right." "This is stupid." "I don't wanna do a taste test." "Do this for me." "I help you with all your tests." "Well, that's just not true." "Come on." "Just play along." "I'm not gonna be able to tell the difference." "Here's what we'll do." "Pick the lasagna I pick." "I'll know which is which." "But" "No." "I have a secret weapon, a very finely tuned instrument..." "... whichisabletopick up the most subtle flavor differences." "I'll show you." "Go ahead." "Just put anything in my mouth." "Go ahead." "Michael." "Michael." "That's a good one." "That's it, Brian." "Thank you." "Okay, let's set up for the scene with the bear." "Hey, Katie." "Didn't notice you there." "Joey, I'd like to see you in my office, please." "I just went there." "What is going on with you two?" "What?" "She wants to see you in her office?" "Yesterday there was that scene she was just "helping you with."" "I saw the way you looked at her." "I was acting." "You're not that good of an actor." "Am I the only one who thinks I'm good?" "What's up?" "So you and Katie had a little talk?" "Yup." "I'm having a hard time  believingyoubrokeup." "Oh, are you talking about when we were by the cabin..." "... whenI washelpingher get  that splinter out of her tongue?" "Let me show you something, Joey." "I have a live feed of the stage." "Well, I guess it's show-off time." "This is where you were standing..." "... whenyouandKatiedecided to have a secret relationship." "But I looked at the camera." "The red off light was on." "I heard you laughing how "Lauren will never know  because she'll be busy washing her hands."" "I was late because I was in the bathroom washing my hands, but I got the gist." "Look, I'm sorry." "We messed up." "But the thing is, we're both adults." "If we think we can handle this..." "... isn't that our decision as long as it doesn't affect the show?" "Katie has locked herself in her room." "She won't come out because she says she hates Joey." "Oh, God, I'm so sorry." "The prop guy's picking his nose." "Let's see if I can get her out." "You have to." "We're shooting a very expensive scene now." "I know guys like you." "When a woman is upset, you have ways to calm her." "Do it." "Okay." "Listen, Lauren, this is gonna be okay." "Not to me!" "Right, right." "When you knock, I have to knock." "Katie, honey, it's me, Joey." "Go away." "Where's your girlfriend, Lauren?" "She's right here." "Wait, she's not my girlfriend." "I don't find her attractive at all." "Lauren, we've gotta get started." "The crew's about to go into overtime." "If we wait longer, we have to feed the bear." "We're using a real bear?" "I thought it was a guy in a suit." "I kicked him." "Just give me a minute." "You have got to get her out of there." "But what happens if I can't?" "Well, I'd have to check, but I'm pretty sure you'll be fired." "Wait a minute." "Yep." "Oh, wait, I know someone who can help us." "Hello." "Hey, Bobbie, it's Joey." "Listen, I got myself into a situation." "It's bad." "Okay." "Here's the game plan." "Flush the drugs, throw the gun in the river." "We'll tell everyone it was exhaustion." "No, no, no." "I need you to come down to the set." "I've been seeing my daughter on the show." "She locked herself in her room." "Now we can't do the scene with the bear." "Every time I'm about to give up on this business..." "... somethingwonderful like this happens." "I'll be right there." "Okay." "Who was that?" "My agent, Bobbie." "If anyone can get her out of there, it's her." "She is an amazing negotiator." "That's how she got me such a great contract on this show." "Thanks." "It feels good to laugh." "All right." "Let's set up this taste test." "Okay, Michael, turn around." "I'll mix them up so you can't tell which one is whose." "I wrote my name on the bottom of mine." "How will we know which one is mine?" "That would be the one without Alex's name on the bottom." "I hate being the dumbest one in the room." "Where's Joey?" "I don't know." "Let me call him." "Deep Powder's Joey Tribbiani." "Say it while you can." "Where are you?" "The taste test is about to start." "Hey, Lauren, can you handle this for a few hours..." "... whileI goandjudge a lasagna taste test?" "Yeah, it's not looking good." "Put your mother on." "Mom." "Hello." "Gina, you're a crazy woman." "I got a high-strung girl who's locked herself in her room." "What should I do?" "How much did she drink?" "She hasn't had anything." "Well, then what are you asking me for?" "That's helpful, Gina." "I gotta go." "Are you coming to the taste test?" "I'm in the middle of something." "You're not?" "He's not coming?" "Get over here!" "Hang up the phone!" "Get away from my door!" "What is wrong with you?" "Take a breath, ladies!" "Wait, where are they?" "Bobbie, thank God." "Sorry it took me so long." "They've been reluctant to let me on the lot since I punched David Caruso." "Hello, Bobbie." "For a second there, I thought the bear had gotten loose." "And I thought I dropped one of my earrings." "Do you two have some kind of history?" "We dated the same guy." "That dude does not have a clear type." "So, what's the problem?" "Katie still won't come out of her room." "Well, don't you worry." "I know how to deal with crazy actors." "You smile, and tell them what they wanna hear." "Okay, you think you can help me?" "Absolutely." "Katie, it's Bobbie Morganstern." "The agent?" "The super agent." "Entertainment Weekly's 1 2th most powerful woman in Hollywood." "She's 67." "Now, Katie, I know you don't wanna talk to Joey." "But if you could just give me a minute, maybe I can help you out here." "She's tiny too." "Maybe I could pick you both up and have you talk to each other." "So, 67, huh?" "No small talk." "Yeah." "Great news." "She's coming out?" "No, I signed her as a client." "You did what?" "That's right." "My client, Katie, demands that you fire Joey." "If you fire my client, Joey, I'll destroy you." "Isn't this a conflict of interest?" "Oh, no." "They'll send me to agent jail." "Lauren, we are now hemorrhaging money." "We need to start shooting or shut down for the day." "Should I tell everyone to go home?" "No." "Tell everybody to stand by." "I have an idea." "She wants you, so we have to make you seem unappealing to her." "Lauren, I don't think we have that kind of time." "I'll tell you what to say, and you say it." "Okay." "Katie, I have something to say to you." "I really care about you..." "... buttherearesomethings I have to confess." "I'm cheap and selfish." "You'll tell me intimate things, and I won't listen." "That's actually true." "I'm not saying that." "Do it." "And I can't land at your airport, because my plane doesn't work." "And if I'm being completely honest, I hate your Chihuahua." "We're through." "Okay, Lauren, I'm ready to do this." "Come on, Carrie Bradshaw." "Okay, let's do this." "Okay?" "Yeah." "We just gotta get through this scene." "All right, knock on wood." "It's just fun." "Stop it." "All right." "I haven't had anything to eat since I got in the car." "Bring on the lasagna." "We've got a problem." "They wouldn't let me wait longer." "You weren't here, so I had to choose." "Oh, no." "Whose did you pick?" "So now Mom's so upset, she locked herself in the bathroom." "Should you be in the bathroom?" "So you gotta get her out." "I can't do it." "I already talked one woman out of a locked room today." "She can stay in there as far as I'm concerned." "She's flushing the lasagnas down the toilet." "Gina, honey, come out and talk." "No." "Not until I flush every piece of this lasagna down your toilet." "Gina... ." "Punzo?" "She's a punzo?" "Look, Gina, what do you even care what Michael thinks?" "He'd rather take a pill than eat your lasagna." "Let someone who loves food decide." "So if you pick me, I'm the real winner?" "Yes." "And I can rub it in Alex's face?" "Yeah, but you won't get to, because it ain't gonna go down like that, beyotch!" "All right, let's settle this." "Hey, Mom." "Sleep with one eye open, Michael." "One eye open." "So you're sure you can pick Mom's?" "I can't have her mad at me like this." "Don't worry." "I have never been let down by the old taster." "Bear?" "All right, Michael, watch a master at work." "I pick that one." "That is the best lasagna." "There's no name on the bottom." "Whose the hell is this?" "It's mine." "I win!" "Damn it." "I actually thought mine was good." "Hey, you know what?" "I tasted some of your lasagna before I flushed it down the toilet." "It was good." "Oh, thanks." "And you're a terrible winner, which I really respect." "Thank God you picked Mom's." "It's incredible that you can do that." "They tasted exactly the same to me." "Yeah, me too." "Why were you so confident?" "Because I got a piece with her hair in it." "Come in." "You wanted to see me?" "Oh, yeah." "Since you're gonna be working with actresses..." "... Iwantedto makesureyoulearned your lesson about dating on set." "Yeah, I really did." "It will never happen again." "But just to be safe, cast some ugly women." "If this show doesn't have good-looking actors, we don't have anything." "Hey, Lauren, I know I was a problem yesterday." "But I wanted to say, it was cool working together." "You telling me the right thing, me saying it." "We make a good team." "Yeah." "You know, this may sound crazy, but I was just wondering..." "... doyoumaybewanna do something sometime?" "Is this a test?" "Yes." "What should I say?" "Lauren, you are a beautiful, brilliant woman, but it wouldn't be right." "We work together." "That's a shame, Joey, because I want you so bad." "Yeah." "What are you gonna do?" "Subtitles by SDI Media Group" "[ENGLISH]"