"_" "I love you." "How do you know which one is the one?" "It's simple." "It's the kiss." "(Gasps)" "Cooper moved in upstairs, and now I'm starting to feel things for Josh downstairs." "Oh, my damn." "Josh... it's you." "Gabi, before you fall for Josh's big "I love you,"" "you should know that he thought he loved you three months ago." "And then when he changed his mind, convinced everyone to lie to you about it." "Is that true?" " Gabi, I can explain everything." " Oh, my God, it is true." " Gabi, wait." " No, get the hell away from me." "Gabi, are you in here?" " Damn it." "Oh, my God!" " (Screams)" "Don't scare me like that!" "I almost went lil' so-so on your ass." "Gabi, we need to talk." "I sent you, like, a thousand texts." "Well, then you added insult to injury because I don't have unlimited texting." "Gabi, I wanted to tell you about Josh the second that I found out." "But you seemed so happy with Cooper, I just..." "I didn't have the heart." "Oh, so you admit you have no heart." "Look, you have every right to be mad at me." "Okay?" "Even though my intentions were good, it was stupid and I take full responsibility." "And maybe you should take some responsibility for how you've been acting." "What?" "You should take some responsibility for how you've been acting." "How I've been acting?" ""I love Josh." "No, I love Cooper." ""He's the one." "No, he's the one." "I have two ones."" "Okay, first of all, that sounds nothing like me." " And second of all..." " (Knock on door)" "You need to get rid of whoever is at that door." "Okay." "From now on, I got your back." " Is she here?" " Nope!" " I know she's here." " How?" "I see her." " Gabi, we need to talk." " No." "No more talking, no more drama." " What I need is for this night to end." " (Knock on door)" "That is not the sound of ending!" " Gabi, we need to talk." " For three months, none of you said a word to me." "And now none of you can shut up!" "You hear that, Cooper?" "She doesn't want to talk to you." "So buh-bye now." "Don't buh-bye me." "Buh-bye you." "(Gabi Gasps)" " Hey, back off." " You back off." "Hey!" "What is wrong with you two?" "I'm sorry, that was out of line." "It was." " So is this." " What the hell?" "(Gabi) Josh, stop!" " Ow!" "Oh!" " (Gasps)" "Ow!" "Okay, that's it." "(Gabi gasps) Oh my God, you guys, stop!" " Not the blender!" " Oh, my God!" " (Screaming)" " Ah!" " (Screaming)" " Stop!" "Stop!" "Stop!" " (All shouting) - (Sofia) Not the votives!" "Hey!" "Hey!" "Stop!" "Oh, my God!" "Okay, you need to stop fighting, all right?" "Because you're bad at it, and it's embarrassing!" "I can't take this anymore." "Okay?" "I'm..." "I'm done." "I'm done with both of you." "All right?" "You need to get out." "So I'll see you at work tomorrow?" "Yes, but I will be late." "(Theme music playing)" "♪ She in the spotlight ♪" "♪ And she turn my head ♪" "♪ She run a red light ♪" "♪ 'Cause she bad like that ♪" "♪ I like that ooh, baby ooh, baby ♪" "♪ Baby, I like that ooh, baby, ooh, baby ♪" "Wake up, Gabi, 'cause your best friend is taking you to breakfast at..." " Good morning!" " Aah!" "You seem peppy." "Why?" "Well, thanks to all the lies and betrayal, I couldn't sleep." "So I took one of those "What am I doing with my life" walks, and I realized you were right." "I've been acting like some lovesick girl in a rom-com instead of following my dreams." "I'm not Julia Roberts, I'm Julia Child." "And then it hit me." "D'Arby." "The homeless guy with the really high-pitched voice?" "No, no, no, that's Dabney." "I'm talking about Charles D'Arby, he's one of the most famous chefs in San Francisco." "And every year, he has a contest to find an apprentice to work at his Michelin-starred restaurant in Switzerland, and I applied!" "(Laughs) "What about your job with Josh," you ask?" "Well, I'm keeping it until I get the apprenticeship, and I am getting it." "I already submitted three original recipes, a personal statement, and three fake references." "All I have left to do is make a video of my knife skills." "(Laughs) Man, I've had a lot of coffee." "Whoo!" " Baby, I am so sorry." " Not necessary." "I am no longer angry with you for lying to me about Josh." "Because you were coerced by him into deceiving me." "And Elliot, I forgive you because you didn't really betray me as a friend since you never really liked me in the first place." "That is so true." "But the important thing is..." "I'm getting married, and you're not invited." "Yay!" "Did I hear Gabi?" "Hey, Yolanda, um, would you mind giving us a minute?" "Josh, no, I don't want to talk." "Yolanda, as my friend, I'm asking you to stay." "Oh, sure." "Yolanda, as your boss, I'm asking you to leave." " Yep." " You owe me." "(Clicks tongue)" "I pay you." "Sorry, Gabi, monies before honeys." "Gabi, we need to talk." "Yes, we do." "What would you like for breakfast?" "I would like a delicious plate of please sit down and listen to this." " Josh!" " Look, it's just a voice mail" "I want you to hear." "That's it." "Fine." "(Josh on computer) Last night after I called off my wedding, you're the person that I wanted to see." "I even ran up your fire escape with roses." "Um, I don't know what I was gonna say, but I knew that I needed to see you and then I saw Cooper and you, and look, if you're happy with Cooper, just disregard this whole message." "But if you think you might, like, be happier with me, call me back." "This is Josh, by the way." "Oh, my God." "Josh." "I know." "Pretty intense." "Did you really leave me that message?" "Sure did." "Huh." "Can I ask you something?" " Anything." " How come I never got it?" "Oh." "Well, good question." "And, uh, how come my message is on your computer?" "Another good question." "Hmm... is it possible that you tricked me into giving you my phone, so that you could delete the message before I got it because you started dating someone new?" "What?" "(Coughs)" "That's a little bit of a reach." "Gabi, I..." "I saw you with Cooper." "I didn't want to screw up your life." "Yeah, well, you were with Jilly, so maybe you just didn't want to screw up your own life." "Now, what do you want for breakfast?" "W-what I want is to hear you say we're gonna be together." " No!" " Why, you're staying with Cooper?" "Oh, my God!" "No, Josh..." "I can't take this." "Okay?" "I quit." " What?" " I can't do this anymore." "Okay?" "I can't come to work and go through this with you every single day!" "Gabi, you can't quit." "What are you gonna do?" "Well, for your information," "I have an apprenticeship with the very famous" "Chef Charles D'Arby." "You do?" "Well, it's... it's not so much an apprenticeship as... as it is an audition for an apprenticeship." " It is?" " Well, it's... it's not so much an audition as it is an application for an audition that could lead to an apprenticeship." "So you have nothing?" "Well, I could've lied and said I had something, but I'm not you, Josh." "Goodbye." "Waffles." "I should have said I wanted waffles for breakfast." "Gabi, what are you doing out here?" "I'm waiting to hear if I got the audition." "And this is the only place where I get full bars." " Oh!" "Hey, Dabney!" " (Dabney) Hi!" "So, you know, I was reading about that apprenticeship online." "And I didn't realize how hard it was to get an audition." " Sofia, I'm going to get this." " Oh, no, of course." "No." "I 1000% believe you will get this." "But, um, in case you don't, it's not the end of the world." "You know?" "You... you still have your job at Josh's." " I quit Josh's." " What?" "I know, it seems crazy." "But the thought of working for him after everything we've been though seems just as crazy." "O-okay, are you sure?" "Because you have, like, zero percent chance of getting that fancy apprenticeship." "Hey!" "You just said that you believed in me!" "Oh, my God, we're gonna have to sell our hair to pay rent!" " (Phone rings) - (Both) It's ringing!" " It's them." " Put it on speaker." "Okay." "Hello?" "(Man) Miss Diamond, this is Chef D'Arby." "Chef D'Arby, this is Miss Diamond." "You have been chosen to audition for my apprenticeship." "We'll expect to see you tomorrow at 9:00 A.M. sharp." "Oh, my God." "I..." "I will be there." "Thank you so much!" " (Screams)" " I knew you'd get it!" "(Dabney) Congratulations!" "Thanks, Dabney!" "Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God!" "Okay, settle down." "It's time to focus." "I am focused." "Sofia, look at this place." " That's Chef D'Arby." " Whoa!" "They sure know how to grow them in England." "(Both laugh)" "(British accent) Please sir, can I have some more?" " Look, you can do this." " Okay." " Good luck." " Thanks. (Laughs)" "Oh, Chef D'Arby, I'm Gabi Diamond." "Thank you so much for this opportunity." "The opportunity to touch me inappropriately?" "Oh, sorry." "Uh, listen, I just had a quick question." "What... what was it that actually got me the audition?" "Was it my recipes?" "Was it my knife skills?" "(Laughs)" "Actually, it was Mr. Kaminski." " You got me this audition?" " You're welcome." " How could you?" " I thought that's what you wanted." "No!" "What I wanted was to do it myself." "Look, I was just trying to help you get your dream." "Yeah, exactly, Josh." "My dream." "Mine." "I thought I was doing something nice." "Oh please, you were just trying to win me back!" "Really?" "Does that sound like a good plan?" "To help you get an internship in Switzerland that takes you away from me for six months?" " How is that getting you back?" " I don't know, Josh." "But all you've done is made me realize that I'm not supposed to be here." "Everybody, take your places." "We are about to begin." "Look, all I did was get you the audition." "It's up to you to win it." "And the dish you will be preparing is..." "[Speaking French]" " You have two hours." " I need two hours to translate that." "Now, Ms. Renard, the Bordelaise?" "You, Mr. Harper." "On to you, Miss Diamond." "Bit of a consistency problem there." "Well, I-I can fix it, I can fix it." "It's over, Miss Diamond." "Off you go!" "What?" "Off I go?" "Off I go?" "(Quietly) Off I go..." " (Knock on door)" " Go away!" "Oh." "Cooper." "Hey." "Don't be upset." "I just came to grab my stuff, drop off your key." "Not to be judgey, but what is the white stuff under your nose?" "Oh." "Um... it's my drug of choice:" "Frosting." " Are you okay?" " Oh, yeah." "Never worse." " How are you?" " Well, I lost my girlfriend and my best friend." "Those are both you, by the way." "Cooper, I'm..." "I'm so sorry for the way things ended." "No, Gabi, I'm sorry." "You're amazing." "You know, you're, like, up here." "And I'm down here." "And a guy down here never gets the girl up here." "So when I found out Josh had feelings for you," "I panicked." "I thought if you found out, I'd lose you." "Cooper, you don't have to tell me all this." "Yes, I do." "I can accept us not being together, what I can't accept is the way I acted at the karaoke bar." "I need you to know that I'm better than that." "Of course you are." "If you weren't, then I wouldn't have fallen in love with you." "And I never meant to hurt you." "I know." "(Smacking lips)" "Frosting's up there, too." "Why?" "Oh!" "Hey, Sofia." "I'm just whipping up a little midnight snack of filet de boeuf forestiere with Bordelaise sauce and petit gratin dauphinois." "Why?" "Because I'm better than that audition, Sofia." "I mean, it's because of Cooper." "Even though he knew we weren't gonna get back together, he still wanted to redeem himself." "And that's what I have to do with Chef D'Arby." "You know, I'm fine with not getting the apprenticeship." "You know, what I'm not fine with is Chef D'Arby only remembering me" " for my ploppy sauce." " (Yawns) Oh, sweetie." "I'm sure he's barely thought about you at all." "Well, he's going to remember me, okay?" "I-I didn't get the job, but I can get my reputation back." "And this time, my boeuf will raise the roof." "Well, if you're gonna see him again, give him my number." "I'd like a bite of his boeuf. (Laughs)" "Chef D'Arby, I'm really sorry to interrupt." "Oh, may I ask what amazing dish the maestro is preparing?" " Eggs." " Oh." "Well, listen, I know my sauce went plop-plop when it should have gone whoosh." "And I don't expect you to change your mind, but I couldn't live with myself knowing I didn't do my best work." "So, may I now present..." "Filet de boeuf forestiere with Bordelaise sauce and petit gratin dauphinois." "Whoosh." "I hope this cow was slaughtered more humanely than you just slaughtered the French language." "Oh, it's French!" "Well done." "In the ten years since I've had this competition, not a single contestant has had the courage to try and redeem themselves with me." "Well, honestly, Chef D'Arby, I didn't do it for you." " I did it for me." " Well, I'm impressed." "I hope to see you again next year, Chef Diamond." "Did you just call me chef?" "I'm a chef, I'm a chef!" " No hugging." " Disagree to disagree." "(Knock on door)" " Gabi." " Thank you." "What?" "I was so mad at you for meddling in my life, and I should've just said thank you." "So, you got the apprenticeship?" "Not even close." "But thanks to you, I got the chance to fail, which gave me the chance to pick myself up and prove to Charles D'Arby that I'm worthy of the title chef." "Good for you." "It was nice of you to come by and say thanks..." "Wait." "Wait, wait." "There's more." "In the spirit of second chances, how about you give me one?" "Josh, I really wanna be your..." " Chef." " Girlfriend." "Chef." "Yes, Chef." "I would love to have you as my chef again." " I think I heard "girlfriend."" " Did you hear that?" "I was hoping you said chef loud enough so all you heard was "chef-friend."" "Listen, Josh, what we have between us is undeniable." "But it's also crazy and messy and confusing..." " Go on a date with me." " What?" "Gabi, you and I have been through so much, but the one thing we've never done is go on a simple date." "So... will you?" "Uh..." "Look, you're still gonna have a job even if you say no." "But I think you and I deserve a second chance, too." " Huh." " Is that a yes or...?" "It's a "huh" with "yes" tendencies." "Okay." "I'll see you tonight at Elliot and Alan's engagement party?" " Absolutely." " Take you to dinner afterwards?" "I will think about it." "I'll see you tonight." "She's gonna think about it!" " How do I look?" " Amazing!" "I'm pretty sure we're gonna be the two cutest girls at that gay engagement party." "(Laughs) You know, I'm really happy about the way this all turned out." "I think it's really true, when God closes a door, he opens a window." "(Phone rings)" " Hello?" " Miss Diamond, this is Chef D'Arby." "Chef D'Arby?" "Oh, hello, what can I do for you?" "It has come to my attention that the winner of the competition cheated." "She found out the audition dish in advance." "Normally, I'd offer the position to the first runner-up, but I was so impressed by you," "I've decided to offer you the apprenticeship." " Really?" " I know this is short notice, but we need you on the red eye to Zurich tonight." "I'm expecting you in the kitchen Monday morning." "Congratulations, Chef." "Oh!" "Thank you, thank you, thank you!" " Oh, my God!" " Oh, my God!" "You did it!" " I did it!" " Oh!" "Wait, wait, wait." "What about Josh?" " What about the apprenticeship?" " Oh!" "Josh, the apprenticeship." "Josh, the apprenticeship." "How do I suddenly have so many options?" "God opened too many windows." "Why did you open so many windows?" "What am I gonna do, Sofia?" "What would Julia do?" "Uh..." "Roberts or child?" "Child." "Child!" "The one who cooks!" "Oh!" "I must really love this man 'cause I'm wearing a bow tie." "(Laughter)" "And I must really love this man because I'm having my engagement party at a karaoke bar." "(Laughter)" "Oh, damn, baby, who ordered the fajitas?" " 'Cause you are sizzling hot." " Thank you." "Oh, you..." "I never thought I'd see the day." "You may be going on a date with Gabi," "Elliot getting married, and here I am... with nothing." "I have a tab open at the bar." "Except that." "(Phone vibrating)" "_" "(Gabi) Hey, Josh." "I'm calling because I have some news." "Some really amazing news." "I got the apprenticeship." "I hate to tell you this over the phone, but if I saw you in person, I'm not sure I'd be able to make the same decision." "After this crazy week of deciding whether I should choose Cooper or choose you," "I decided to choose me." "And it's the hardest decision that I've ever had to make." "I'm really sorry we didn't get a second chance." "I hope you understand." "You've always been there for me, so I know that you will." "Okay, I'll send you guys a postcard." "Bye!" "Oh, this is Gabi, by the way." "It's just sad, Dabney." "Gabi's only been gone a few days and it's just really hard." "You know, I rattle around the apartment, eat cereal." "We used to do everything together." "Shop, get pedicures, order takeout." "You know what the worst part is?" "She took the tablet so I'm stuck using the laptop." "It just really sucks." "You know what I mean?" "(Dabney) My dog tells me to burn stuff." "Oh. (Clears throat)" "Good talk."