"Far in the dim past..." "when myth and history merged into mystery and the gods of fable and the primitive beliefs of man dwelt on ancient Mount Olympus, in antique Greece a legendary hero walked godlike upon the earth..." "sometimes." "Man:" "Why can't I go?" "Because your place is here with the rest of us." " You let Mars travel." " That's his job." "Until mankind learns to dispense with his services and lives in peace, Mars must go where he's called." "I only want to browse around." "You'd only get into trouble." "I have been here thousands of years." " I am bored." " Don't interrupt your father!" "Besides..." "these mortals are bedeviled by as aggravating a collection of annoyances as it is possible for one to imagine." "It may not be entirely without merit," " but you wouldn't like it there." " Let me be the judge of that." "I am tired of the same old faces, the same old things." "Tired or not, you're staying here!" "Woman:" "Zeus, I beg of you," "Hercules is only hotheaded." "He does not mean to oppose your wishes." "Mind your own business, Venus." "He has grown insufferable." "I will not be bearded to my face by this insolent young whelp." "He's only a demigod." "He gives himself airs his mortal birth does not warrant." "My mother may have been a mortal, but you, Zeus, my father, are a god." "I will discuss this no further." "Does this mean I have Zeus' permission to leave?" "It means you will stay." "I don't wish to hear another word on the subject." "I won't stay." "You are trying my patience, Hercules." " You are trying mine." " Heed my words!" "Nobody will stop me." "How dare you address such remarks to your father!" "It's easy." "Why you offensive puppy!" "Perhaps this will teach you respect for your elders!" "Venus:" "Zeus, Hercules is half mortal." " He may be killed." " He's only a spoiled youth." "Save him." "Hercules is your son." "Forgive him!" "If I had known how much trouble it would cause me," "I'd have thought twice when I met his mother on vacation." "Aahh!" " Tell me what's wrong." " I just saw a man." "Yes, my dear, that's not unusual." "There are men on this airplane." "No, outside!" " He was flying." " Outside?" "Yes, he just passed my window." "Stewardess!" "And he was..." "he was naked!" "And he was just going down, flying." " And he..." " We're traveling at 30,000 feet." "No man, nude or otherwise, could possibly be flying outside a jet plane." "Oh, he was very handsome." "And he had big muscles." "And he was practically naked." "Oh, dear." "Oh, my." "I shouldn't have taken Agatha to see all those Greek statues." "She's so impressionable." "We throw ourselves at Zeus' feet." "Woman:" "Get up, you stupid creatures." "Let Hercules suffer the consequences of his own obstinacy." "J uno has hated Hercules ever since the day of his birth." "All right!" "Do not be disrespectful to my wife." "Let us see what he is doing now." "( claps hands )" "He's in the sea now." "He will drown!" "Save him, Great Zeus." "It will take more than Neptune or any of his creatures" " to overcome a son of Zeus." " Save him, Zeus!" "Save Hercules!" "All right, all right." "I have done so." "Behold, coming over the horizon of the sea." "( ship's horn blows )" "What were you doing out in the water?" " Swimming." " A hundred miles from land?" "I fell." " Fell?" " Yes." "How did that happen?" " There was an explosion." " Oh?" " What ship?" " Ship?" "From which you were blown overboard." "Olympus." "There's a Greek freighter by that name." " What's your name?" " Hercules." " Greek, huh?" " Very old family." "Sir?" "It's all right, I'm democratic." "You're addressing the captain of this ship." "Say "sir" to me." " I am Hercules." " So you told me." "No man is superior to Hercules." "Begging the captain's pardon, but an immersion in the water can put a man off his head." "H uh." " What's your berth?" " I am the son of Zeus." "I'm referring to your rating, not your family tree." "What's your rating when you ship out to sea?" "What's your second name?" "Hercules what?" "As I have told you, I am Hercules, son of Zeus." "I don't think he means any disrespect." "He probably loses it in the translation." "All right, sign him on as Hercules Zeus, since that's his father name, and get him an O.S. rating." "Aye, aye, sir." "Get him what clothes you can that might fit him." "Come with me." " Where's this ship bound for?" " New York." "Carstairs!" "Carstairs!" "Stop that fight!" "Okay, I'm with you, boy." "Better forget it." "Oh no, you don't." "No, no." "I'm your friend." "Bosun, what's the meaning of this?" "Well, he refused to work, sir." "And when I tried to persuade him, well, he..." "He's a foreigner." "Perhaps he didn't understand you." "I understood him." "He's most disagreeable and he has irritated me." " Where do you think you're going?" " Ashore." " The captain give you permission?" " Hercules goes where he wishes." "Not on this ship, you don't." "Get your carcass below." "Get yours!" "Yo, Hercules!" "Come back here!" "Stop him!" "Somebody grab him!" "Get him!" "Alex!" "Hey, you guys!" "20 bucks for the first man that flattens him." "Man:" "Come on!" "Come on!" "Oooh!" "Come on, push him." "That's it." "Come on!" "Come on, push it!" "Come on, let's get him!" "You'd better get out of here." "They're gonna kill you!" "Come on, we'll get a cab." "Here!" "Go ahead!" "What's the matter with you?" "!" "Let go!" "Fine chariot, but where are the horses?" "Let go of that!" "What's the matter?" "Hey, let go of that!" "Where to?" "Uptown." "And step on it!" "Boy, that was close." "What was close?" "They almost nailed you!" "What did you do?" "J ump ship?" "No, I walked off." "You walked off." " What's your name?" " Hercules." "Oh." "Mine is Pretzi." "They call me Pretzi, because, you see," "I sell pretzels on the waterfront." " Where you from?" " Greece." "Oh!" "I used to know a Greek guy." "He ran a beanery down in the Village." "His name was Apollo." "I never found out what his second name was." " I know Apollo." " You do?" "Well, is this a small world?" "You know Apollo." "Gee." "I wonder where Apollo is now." "I haven't seen him in two or three years." " He's back home." " He went home, huh?" "He was all the time talking about how homesick he was." "So he finally went home." "He was a real nice guy." "Conceited." "He thinks there's nobody handsomer in the world." "Handsome?" "Apollo?" "You must be kidding." "Come on, say you're kidding." "Handsome?" "With that big black wart on his nose?" "And those little beady crossed eyes?" "( laughing )" "He must have been in disguise." "I wonder if Apollo ever got married." "He was all the time looking for a wife." "Maybe that's why he went home, to find a wife." "Diana and Terpsichore are in love with him." "I think Hebe is attracted, too." "No kidding." "It shows you how desperate some women could be." "That is really amazing." "You hungry?" "Wait a minute." "Here, here." "Go ahead, help yourself." " I'm grateful." " Think nothing of it." "Good, huh?" "Food for the gods." "Well, I get them from a bakery in Brooklyn called "Food For the Gods Bakery."" "Where you guys wanna go?" "Hey, what do you know?" "Central Park." "This is good enough." "It's fine." "Here we are in Central Park." "I'll go get my bag." " That'll be two bucks." " Big city, New York." "Bigger than Athens." "Bigger than Rome." "Bigger than Carthage." "I'd say New York is the biggest place there is." " Pay the cabbie." " Pay him?" " What?" " For the ride, two bucks." "Bucks?" "The bread, the shekels, you know, the long green, the money, two bucks!" "He wants to be paid for driving Hercules in the chariot?" "That's the idea, mack." "My name is Hercules." "Hercules, Schmurcules, give me the dough." "Bucks?" "Doe?" "What's all this talk about male and female animals?" "This guy got all his marbles?" "He's just come over from the old country." "Look, Herc, it's money." "You know, drachmas." "Money?" "I don't have any money." "You don't have any money?" "Holy moley." "He ain't got no money." "Hercules doesn't need any money." "What?" "That's the stupidest thing I've heard in my whole life." "A couple of deadbeats, huh?" "Pretzi:" "Look, buddy, you see..." "There's been a little mistake." "Well, now, ain't that something." "A mistake." "Well, what do you know..." "a mistake." "Last time, you gonna give up the dough or ain't you?" "Isn't it enough since Hercules rode in your chariot?" "You've been immortalized." "I've been who?" "You heard him, you've been immortalized." " Driver:" "Are you nuts?" " Well, you see..." " It's like this" " Driver:" "Like what?" "Well, you see..." "uh, we, I" "Okay, call the cops." "Not before I have some fun by taking it out of your hides." " Run, Herc!" " You deadbeat!" "How dare you touch Hercules?" "!" "Brad says we've got the best all around team we've ever had, a cinch to win first place in the intercollegiate meet." "I should hope so." "I know Rod, for one, has worked very hard, even to the point of neglecting you, I'm afraid." "I don't mind, Dad." "I want him to succeed." "I'm sure he will, darling." "You know what pleases me most, Helen, about these boys?" "J udging from their classroom work, they apparently have brains as well as brawn." "How are those men over there?" "They're just athletes training." " Athletes?" " College guys." "Hmmph..." "What do you mean?" "You think you could do better?" "( snorts )" "What do you mean?" "These guys happen to be champions." "Ha!" " Nobody can beat them." " Ha!" "Wait!" "Where are you going?" " Over there." " What for?" "To show them how to throw the discus." "No, no." "You've gotta stay here." "You can't go buttin' in there." "They would not like me to instruct them?" "No, it's just for college guys." "No outsiders allowed." "I am Hercules." "Put that discus down!" "You have no business out here." "Those men do not throw it far enough." " You don't say." " I do say." " What is it, Helen?" " That man with the discus, the coach seems to be arguing with him." "These boys are record holders." "Then they should be better." "I suppose you believe that you're better." "I once showed them in the Olympics in Greece how to do it." "They profited by my instruction." "You showed us in the Greek Olympics, huh?" " What year was that?" " That was the year..." "Hey, coach." "Let him show us, coach." "Maybe there is something we could learn." "Well, it's always possible." "All right, go ahead." "Show us." "Thank you." "What else do you do?" "I ncredible." "Okay, Tom." "( cheers and applause )" "Great throw, Tom!" "Great throw!" "Okay, let's see you beat that." "A very good throw for the earthbound." "Skip the wisecracks." "Put your money where your mouth is." "I do not have any money." "I mean, stop talking..." "demonstrate." "All right." "Wow." "That's my buddy." "He's a Greek fella." "He just come over..." "from Greece." " Dawson." " Coach." "You're our anchorman here." " Show this fella something." " Yes, sir, coach." "Fifty bucks says my pal beats that guy about to jump now." "I'll take that." "It's a bet." " This fella can hold the money." " No, that's all right." "I trust ya, buddy." "All right, Mister." "Let's see you top that." "Certainly, if you wish me to." "Wish you?" "Brother, I'm begging you." " I beg your pardon?" " Why, what's the matter?" " Did I do something wrong?" " My name is Professor Camden." " How do you do?" " And this is my daughter, Helen." "Here's our card." "I wonder if you'd do me a favor." "Sure, spill it." "Have tea with my daughter and me." "Shh!" "Not so loud!" "You never know when one of them narcotics cops is around." "Tea, the conventional social drink." "You mean the drinking stuff?" "Of course!" "What else?" "Wait a minute." "You want to get together just to drink tea?" "Do you find that so uncommon?" "Well, no, but eh..." "it's just that nobody's ever invited me to do that with them before." "Well, around 4:00, then." "Hm?" "Great." "And bring your friend along." "Hey, Herc!" "( doorbell rings )" "Please go into the library." "I'll tell the professor you're here." "Hercules:" "Ha, ha." "Pan." "It's a funny one." "I must tell him about this." "Yeah, you must do that." "Yeah." "Helen:" "Hello!" "How do you do?" "How do you do?" "I'm so happy you both could be here." "Hey, cut that out!" " Won't you be seated?" " Thank you." "My father should be here any minute." " Is anything wrong?" " What could be wrong?" "It's just that you're looking at me so strangely" "I feel my hair may be out of place or something of the sort." "Everything's perfect." "Everything's in its place." " You remind me of someone." " Really?" "Someone you know?" " A goddess." " A goddess?" "I remind you of a goddess?" "It's a beautiful day, isn't it?" "If the sun comes out, it will be a beautiful day." "You and she do have a lot in common." "It's kind of you to be so complimentary, but..." "I must say it's the first time anyone's been quite so..." "so extravagant with his comparisons where I'm concerned." "( doorbell rings )" "Excuse me, that must be my other guest." "What's the matter with you?" "Now you cut that out!" "Talking that way to that dame." "You're acting like some kind of a bull in a ten-cent store." "You just got here, and right away you're on the make." " What am I making?" " J ust cut it out." "That's no way to talk to a dame." "I don't understand." "Maybe I'm being a little rough on you." "Maybe you do things differently where you come from, but that's not the way we talk to a dame here, that's all." "What did I say that was wrong?" "J ust cut it out!" "That's all!" "That's not the way to talk to a broad, understand?" "I guess you all know each other." " Hi, fellas." " How do you do?" "How are you doing?" " Hey, what's happening?" " Is he your lover?" "My what?" "Hey, Mister, watch your talk!" "I can hear my talk." "I cannot watch it." "You won't hear it much longer if you don't apologize to her." "Apologize for paying her a tribute?" "A tribute?" " I nsulting her." " A beautiful woman with a handsome man for a friend, they must be lovers." "Herc, you cool it!" "I find it unnatural if they're not." "All right, you asked for it!" "( thud )" "Ughh!" "You have struck Hercules." "Come off that rap." "Keep that up, and you'll have to be taken away." "What kind of chicken fat you got in your head?" "I am Hercules." "You're Hercules, I'm Rod Nelson." "Now what?" "Outside?" "I can do it just as well in here." "No, no." "You... youputhim down!" " Helen:" "Really, you're crazy!" " Herc!" "Will you put him down!" "Please, Mr. Hercules." "Please put him down." "His first name is Hercules." "His last name is Zeus." "It rhymes with "booze."" "I don't care what his name is." "Tell him to put Mr. Nelson down." "Herc, you heard what the lady said." "Put the guy down." "What's the matter with you?" "Pretzi:" "Put him down on his feet!" "Put him down!" "Turn him loose!" "Helen:" "Put him down!" " Put him down!" " Tea is served." "Well, I knew it." "Doesn't surprise me a bit." "Wherever he goes-- trouble." "What am I gonna do with the young fool?" "( sniffles )" "Amusing situation with that fellow, Hercules, wasn't it?" "Amusing?" "That man must be crazy!" " Original." " Primitive." " I find him refreshing." " You must be kidding!" "No." "He almost killed Rod Nelson." "He had to have some ribs taped." "Nevertheless, Mr. Zeus interests me." "I'd like to get to know him better." "Study him more closely." " Oh, really?" " Absolutely." "He had the effrontery to ask if I'd have dinner with him tonight." "Well, of course you told him..." " I would." " Naturally." "( animal growls and screeches )" "( growling )" "Oh, it was a wonderful evening." " Thank you so much" " I enjoyed it, too." "Are you homesick?" "I'm having too much fun." "( hooves clipping )" "( gorilla panting )" "What's it like back there, where you come from?" "Didn't you tell me Athens?" "A seaport?" " We have a fine ocean view." " Oh, that's nice." "Have any brothers and sisters there?" "Lots, half brothers and half sisters." "What does your father do?" "What business is he in?" "Ha!" "He's a deity." "I suppose he must miss you." "He didn't want to see me leave." "I n fact, he was most upset." "Of course." "But a young man must see the world, so they say." "This is what I told him." "Do you have a girl back home?" "You know how it is." "No, I don't." "( giggling )" "Radio:" "All Central Park units." "All Central Park units." "Escaped from zoo, one 600 lb. grizzly bear." "Take caution with animal, known to be surly and dangerous." "( sirens wailing )" "( growling )" "( sirens approaching )" "I would really like to see Greece one day." "I've heard it's a beautiful country." "Perhaps you will see it one day." "Will you show me around?" "You like to climb mountains?" "Well, I've never done any, um..." "Have you ever been on Mt." "Olympus?" " I know it very well." " No kidding!" "I'm not kidding." "When I was a little girl, I used to read all about it, and the gods and goddesses who were supposed to live on top of it, and I believed it!" "It's one of the joys of being really young." "( growling )" "( Helen screaming )" "Ooh!" "( whinnying )" "Ooh!" "Aaahh!" "( Helen screaming )" "Hercules!" "Beat him up!" "Aaahh!" "Oh, Hercules!" "Ooh!" "Well, beat him!" " Wrestling?" " We gotta get money somehow." "Using our muscles is one of the few ways I could think of for us to get some dough." "U nless you've got a better idea on how we're gonna pay the bills that you've been running up here at the hotel?" "Yes, sir, gents..." "the wrassling game is..." "lucrative." "Mr. Dugan promotes the wrestling matches at the Armory." "Right." " He saw your picture in the paper." " Right." "He read about what you'd done to that bear." "And he brought us a proposition." "I'm your new partner." "I saw your boy Hercules wrestle last night." "and he's gonna go places." "Yeah." "Dugan tells me you're easy to deal with." "And I hope so, because here's my contract to replace yours." "All you gotta do is sign your name..." "and here's the dough." "I don't have any contracts with Hercules." "He's my buddy..." "we just got each others' word." "It makes it all the easier." "Cuts the red tape." "Sign your name." "Fat Lips, Nitro and me will take care of everything." "Yeah." "No." "I ain't gonna do that." "Hercules is my friend." "I ain't gonna sell him to nobody." "Not to you, or him, or him!" "Look, that boy of yours is a comer." "With my connections, that boy's gonna be world champ in no time." "What's a little runt like you gonna do for him, except stand in his way?" "And that don't fit in with my plans." "Yeah." "No, I ain't gonna do it." "Now, look..." "I'd like to do everything nice and easy and legal." "But if you wanna get tough, we can oblige you, can't we, fellas?" "Yeah." "Tell your boy I'll be seeing him." "( door closes )" ""Hercules..." "half god, half man, was the son of J upiter, or Zeus-- as he was known to the Greeks-- and a mortal mother named Alcmene." "As J uno, Zeus' wife, was always hostile to the offspring of her husband, by mortal mothers, she declared war against Hercules from his birth." "She sent two serpents to destroy him as he lay in his cradle." "But Hercules strangled them with his hands."" "Holy moley!" "I would speak with Nemesis." "My son, Hercules, who has set himself against me..." "is out in the world bringing disrepute to his name." "He has no business there." "And where he is is no place for him." "I hear, Great Zeus." "I charge you with a mission, as she who is the avenger of my displeasures." "I n all things, I obey." "Go down to that continent known as North America, to that city known as New York." "Take with you my wish that Hercules be punished for setting himself against me, for demeaning that part of him which is divine in rioting among the mortals of that benighted place." "Great Zeus," "I beg you, hold your anger against Hercules." "He means no harm." "He is simple, and a bit childish." "Give him a chance." "Send me down there first to persuade him to come back to us, before you give Nemesis her task." " Yes, O Zeus." " Heed Mercury's plea." "Send Mercury for Hercules before you charge that dread Nemesis with her mission." "Venus also adds her voice in asking Zeus to be patient and merciful." "I don't wish to be unduly harsh." "But Hercules has been trying my patience for centuries." "Woman:" "Yet be indulgent, Great Zeus." "Send Mercury to bring back Hercules." " Give him this chance." " Let him stay down there." "He's been an annoyance from his cradle on." "We all know why you don't like Hercules." "But surely, Great Zeus will not let his judgement be affected" " by J uno's malice." " Malice!" "?" " How dare you?" " All right..." "I don't want any arguments." "So be it." " Mercury..." " Great Zeus." "Tell Hercules it is my wish he return to Olympus without delay." "Do not fail." " Now be gone." " As Great Zeus commands." "Is it wise, O Zeus, to do this thing?" "If Hercules no longer finds Olympus to his taste, then let him stay where he is." "Those down there will punish him more than you ever would." "They resent one who is different from themselves." "They will always try to destroy him because of it." "It is the habit with these unhappy mortals." "Hercules is my son, not yours." "I know you hate him, J uno, but we do not punish in hate, only in sorrow." "I have spoken." "Oh look, you're famous." "That is not Hercules." "And who is that monster who looks as if he came from the kingdom of the underworld?" "Oh, no." "This is a motion picture, a play." "You mustn't take yourself so seriously." "He doesn't even look like me." "Look." "What are you doing?" "Oh, wow!" "Does he?" "Listen..." "I really..." " Does he?" " I wish you'd put your shirt on." "It isn't supposed to look like anyone except the actor who plays the part!" "What is the name of that imitator?" "Who gave him permission to pretend to be Hercules?" "Listen." "Stop joking." "I think..." "I think we ought to go." "I nsolence." "( church bell chimes )" "Hercules:" "What is that?" "It's Atlas holding up the world." "According to Greek mythology, he was the one who..." "Atlas?" " Yeah." " Poor likeness." "You have the oddest sense of humor." "Half the time I don't know whether you're joking or not." "Did your mother drop you on your head as a baby?" "What happened?" "Once I strangled two serpents in the cradle." "Oh..." "Come along." "I'll show you more of our city." "First, let's take a picture of Atlas." "Okay." "( shutter clicks )" "And now of you." "Smile." "This fine food for only a few small coins?" "They who run this place must be public benefactors." "Let's go and get a table." "Very pretty." "I like New York very much." "I'm glad." "Perhaps you'll stay here longer than you thought you might." "Well, another hundred years, at least." "( giggling )" " Greetings, Hercules." " Mercury." " What brings you down here?" " You." " Zeus, he sent you?" " I am here at his command." "Why?" "To ask you in Zeus' name to return to Olympus with me." "I don't wish to return yet." "Zeus insists on it." "I like it down here." "Do not defy Zeus." "You can only suffer by it." "He's all the time nagging me." "Mercury:" "It is out of the love he bears you." "When did you see my father last?" "About five minutes ago." "How did you leave things in Olympus?" "About the same." "Everybody misses you." "Hercules:" "J uno, too?" "Well, you know J uno and her jealousy of every woman Zeus looks twice at." "Venus especially asked me to give you her best wishes." "Tell Zeus I'll come back when I'm ready." "I wouldn't want to do that." "You know how handy he is in throwing those thunderbolts when he's angry." "I'm not worried about Zeus' thunderbolts down here." "Zeus has another instrument to punish those who offend him..." "Nemesis." "He wouldn't send her after me." "It was only at the solicitation of your friends that he sent me in her place to make this plea for your return." "Why can't the old man let me alone?" "For the first time in 2,000 years" "I'm enjoying myself and he's trying to spoil it." "This is no place for you." "Everything is changing." "Mortal man has no more belief in the old ways." "I'm enjoying myself, just the same." " You are living a fallacy." " It doesn't hurt me." "Such overconfidence could be ruinous." "I'm going to take a shower." "Please, Hercules, come back to Olympus." "Now you're reasonable, Mercury." "And you're also my half brother." "What harm am I doing down here?" " You could do great harm." " Harm to whom?" " Yourself." " What are you talking about?" "Hercules can only be Hercules." "You are confusing these mortals with your behavior." "Hercules:" "Ha!" "I know a theater on the street named Broadway." "There's a man who plays me so well." "They shower money on him." "It proves they know me." "I must get back to Olympus." "I cannot delay." "Zeus would hold it against me." "Are you coming back or not?" "No." "Is that the message you would have me deliver to Zeus?" "I will come sometime, but not right now." "Then I fear for you, Hercules." "Such obstinacy can have only grave consequences." "Give my regards to Venus." "Right." "She will be distressed to know that you are defying your father." "I'm not defying him." "I just want to stay here for a while." "Farewell, then." "I carry your words back to Olympus with a heavy heart." "If you will not take my advice, then heed my caution:" "beware of Nemesis." "Goodbye, my half brother." "I'm sure he meant well." "But, but..." "he..." "( stammering )" "Ooohh!" "Helen:" "You know what I think?" "I think he's slightly demented." "Either that, or he's the world's most dedicated joker." "Perhaps he's suffering from delusions of grandeur." "His name is Hercules, so he thinks he's Hercules." "What's so terrible about that?" "We've heard of people who think they're Napoleon." "U h-huh." "But they're in institutions." "The young man's aberration may be a mild megalomania." "I don't care." "I like him." "Even if he is a bit crazy." "So do I , even if he did crack two of my ribs." "A Greek peasant with delusions of mythological divinity." "Fascinating." "( doorbell rings )" "Open it up..." "I've seen it, I've seen it." "He opens up..." "I seen it!" "I seen it!" " I seen it." " Pretzi, how are you?" "I seen it." "I seen it." "He... he..." "he flung himself right out the window-- head first-- from the 23rd floor!" "And then he fell straight up!" "What are you talking about, Pretzi?" "I seen it with my own eyes." "What did you see, Pretzi?" "He called him, "Mercury."" "They were talking about his old man." "Seems he come over here to get him to come home." "But he don't wanna come home, so Mercury throws himself out the window, straight up into the sky!" "Take it easy, Pretzi." " Get him a drink, Helen." " No, please, no." "No booze, no." "I think that's what did it." "I don't know." "I seen it..." "clear as daylight." " A cup of coffee may help." " Right, I'll get it." "Now, Pretzi, I presume you are talking about Hercules." "Yeah, Hercules." "Right." "Did you have anything to drink?" "Well, I ..." "I might have had a couple of snorts." "And how much is a couple?" "A pint." "A pint?" "Well..." "a fifth." "Relax." "A cup of black coffee, and everything will be fine." "Holy moley!" "I tell ya..." "I've never seen anything like this before in my whole life." "( thunder )" "That was the answer Hercules gave you to bring to me?" "It was not so insolent as Zeus imagines." "I n fact, Hercules spoke of you with affection." " Yet he defied my command." " But not in so many words." "He said he would come back, but not just yet." "He dares to temporize with me!" "I'll blast him!" "Nemesis..." "come here!" "Nemesis..." "Can I talk with you a moment, Nemesis?" "Make it brief, O wife to Zeus." "I am on a mission." "What punishment did my husband decree for Hercules?" "It is for him to tell you, not I ." "It is for you to tell me when I ask!" "Am I not wife to Zeus?" "I order you!" "I am to convey Hercules to the underworld kingdom of Pluto where he is to remain for a hundred years." "What kind of a punishment is that?" "Hercules will have the time of his life roistering about with that lecher." "Pluto is the king of all evil pleasures." "If it is Zeus' thought that Hercules should reside in hell..." "I have a keener one for him." "Let him stay where he is." "But Earth is where Hercules wishes to be." "Yes..." "but as Hercules." " I don't understand." " With all his great strength, it sets him apart from other mortals." "They might even make him king because of it." "They have no kings where Hercules is." "They're called "presidents."" "A king by any other name, in his heart still thinks of himself as king." "J uno delays me." "I must leave." "What does she have in mind?" "Hercules' divinity." "His divinity?" "Since he seems to like it so well where he presently is," "I shall give him a taste of what it truly means." "He shall become one of those wretched mortals he finds it so fascinating to be among." "But Hercules is a demigod." "Thanks to my husband's philanderings." "I can't take away Hercules' divinity permanently..." "but I can make him as other men for a while..." "as long as the effects from the powder in this ring last." "Hope for the best." "Open the face of this ring." "Pour the powder within into Hercules' drink." "Then he will become as other men, no better, and as vulnerable as any of them." "It could mean that Hercules could..." " Yes." " He could get killed." "It might." "J uno, I dare not." "I cannot take part in undermining..." "the will of the gods." "Do my bidding..." "or when I have Zeus here in private" "I might tell him a few things about you." "And one more thing..." "on your way back, make a little detour." "Go see Pluto." "I have a message for him." "Pluto:" "Forgive the barking." "It's only Cerberus." "Nemesis:" "Seems to have quite an argument." "He does that sometimes when he's angry at himself." "It's those three heads, you know." "How have you been, Pluto?" "Pretty nifty, except it's been a hell of a day." "A new shipload." "Ha!" "Look who's here." "I'd ask you in, but it's a mess." "Thanks, but I wouldn't have time for just a visit." "You say that Hercules is the same as all those foolish mortals he finds himself among?" "Temporarily." "Zeus has decreed that Hercules should spend the next hundred years down here." "There has been an argument between the two of them." "And so J uno, um..." "wants you to have the opportunity to make the most of this." "What a triumph!" "What a coup!" "What a feather in my cap!" "To snatch the soul of a demigod!" " When can I expect Hercules?" " That's the problem." "He refuses to obey Zeus." "Then he won't come." "Drat!" "Not voluntarily." "He must bring him involuntarily." "And J uno has..." "facilitated matters." "Surely J uno realizes that I am no murderer." " I only punish." " She understands that, of course." "But she also knows that you are ingenious." "And what she can't accomplish by one means, she is sure that you are likely to achieve by another." "You know, that is true." "I always thought of myself as a god of ideas." "Then I'll leave the matter in your hands." "Goodbye." "Goodbye." "Pluto:" "I didn't mind climbing all those stairs to get here, but heights make me dizzy." "I'm not accustomed to the altitude." "( chuckles )" "Have you decided?" "I don't care what Zeus has decreed." "I'm not coming with you." " Some other century, perhaps?" " It'll be safer for you." "Safer?" "Hercules is a god, and safe wherever he goes." "Things can change." "You're being ridiculous." "J ust listen to me for a minute." "You'll enjoy yourself." "You'll have a hell of a time." "I don't know what the occasion was that prompted this influx of..." "beautiful women..." " Go away." " You bother me." " J ust listen." "I n this briefcase I happen to have a contract that was drawn up by the best legal minds in the world, who at the moment are involuntarily the recipients of my hospitality." "What is it to me?" "I mean if you play your cards right" "I can see that you can get any one of those dames, women, who might tickle your, eh, fancy." "So just sign on the dotted line, and I'll take care of everything else." "Why don't you go back to hell!" "You've been away too long already." "Who is taking care of things?" "Who is feeding Cerberus?" "How did you get here?" "You always shun the light." "Nosy parker." "Did you notice how dark it was?" " So this is your doing?" " Um-hmm." "How about signing on the dotted line?" "No." "If you don't stop annoying me, I ..." "Listen, I'm not..." "I'm not afraid of you." "Hey, that's terrific, but I'm also a god." " I can try." " You can try?" "Listen." "I'll see you later." "We'll be in touch." "You're gonna..." "hear from me." "I'll see you again sometime..." "when you're run down." "Said on the phone he'd meet us here." "Said we'd recognize him by the briefcase he'd be carrying." "Here he comes." "You weren't kidding about what you said on the phone, were ya?" "Certainly not." "Sure you'll be able to handle it?" "Man:" "Twenty thousand dollars?" "5 to 1 ." "Okay, pal, it's a bet." "You're laying 20 grand at 5 to 1 on Hercules to lose?" "The money." "What's your name?" "Where do you hang out?" "Where can I reach you?" "Don't worry about that." "All in good time." "We shall meet again." "Mmmmm..." "Be assured of that." "Well, goodbye..." "for the present." "Till next time." "I don't like that guy's looks." "He gives me the creeps." "He's dangerous." "I wouldn't welsh on him if I was you." "What's to welsh?" "Hercules is a cinch to win, right?" "If you say so." "He'll walk into a room he won't walk out of if he don't come through for me." "Twenty grand, huh?" "That's a lot of dough." "Figure this guy knows something we don't know?" "What could he know?" "He's a long shot plunger!" "( laughing )" " Disturbing you?" " No, dear, come in." "Did you see today's newspaper?" "Not yet." "Anything of special interest?" "An item in Wesley Watkins' column." "Listen..." ""New Yorkers are talking about the claim of champion wrestling contender, Hercules the Great that he's the strongest man in the world."" "I wouldn't be inclined to dispute that." "Someone does." "Listen." ""Foremost among those to dispute this statement is circus strongman, Monstro the Magnificent." "He declares himself as willing to put up" "$1 0,000 on the outcome of a weightlifting contest."" "There's a man with his work cut out for him." ""Broadway scuttlebutt has it that the matter may be settled on a national variety television program."" "I personally have no doubt as to the outcome." "Hi!" "Came to wish you luck." "Thank you." "Father's out front rooting for you, too." "I'm glad for it." "Man:" "How's it going, pal?" " Greetings." " All set for the big match?" " It doesn't bother me." " You'll take him, all right." " What can stop me?" " Glad to hear you say that." "I got a lot of dough spread out on those muscles of yours." " Don't worry." " I'm not worrying." "J ust reminding you that if anything goes wrong," "I'm not gonna like losing all that money, and you won't like it, either." "I understand." "It is not pleasant to lose money once one becomes accustomed to its use." "Yeah." "I don't back losers..." "ever!" "Very practical." "So don't lose." "Who was that?" "I believe he was threatening you." " He was?" " Yes!" "If you don't win, he means to harm you." "Who can harm Hercules?" "He's a bad guy, Herc." "Gee..." "I wish we didn't have nothing to do with him." "You're okay, ain't you?" "I'm fine." "PA:" "Hercules the Great on stage!" "Well, that's you." "I'll see you later." "Good luck." "Thanks a lot." "Okay, Herc, you're all ready." "Remember everything I told you." "You won't forget." "Whatever you do, don't get nervous." "I mean, just... just..." "keep calm." "Don't strain yourself because you could get a hernia." "Whatever you do, Herc, just stay calm." "And listen, Herc, watch out for Monstro..." "Wasn't he something, folks?" "And now we have a special treat for all you girls and guys." "An exhibition of the defense of manly art." "Speculation throughout the city has been rife." "Who is the strongest?" "Monstro the Magnificent?" "( cheers and applause )" "Ooh, hey!" "Or Hercules the Great?" "Let's bring Herc on." "You go out there and get him." "Remember what I taught you." "Don't forget, now." "There he goes." "Very glad to have you on the show." "Whew!" "Now this contest of strength will begin with the challenger," "Monstro the Magnificent, who will snatch, press..." " That's "clean and jerk."" " I'm sorry." "Who will clean and jerk barbells weighing..." " 500 pounds?" " 500." "500 pounds!" "( applause )" "( drum roll )" "Host:" "Let's give him a great big hand!" "Monstro the Magnificent." "( applause )" "And now Hercules the Great." "500 pounds." "( applause )" "( applause )" "And now, item number two." "7 50 pounds." "Monstro the Magnificent." "Let's give him a hand." "( applause )" "( drum roll )" "Not now, dum-dum." "Wonderful." "And now, Hercules the Great." "7 50 pounds." "( applause )" "For Hercules, 7 50 pounds, ladies and gentlemen." "( applause )" "And now, ladies and gentlemen, in this struggle of the titans," "One thousand pounds!" "Monstro the Magnificent." "Let's hear it for Monstro!" "( applause )" "Host:" "Ladies and gentlemen, Monstro the Magnificent!" "( applause )" "Whoa, look at that!" "Look at that!" "Wonderful!" "Wonderful!" "Monstro the Magnificent!" "Host:" "And now, Hercules the Great." "One thousand pounds." "Double cross." "( groaning )" "Ladies and gentlemen, let's have a hand for Hercules." "A real effort." "A real effort." "Host:" "And now the winner, Monstro the Magnificent!" "But, but what happened?" "I don't know!" "I could not lift it." "My strength, it seemed to have gone." "Come on, we gotta get out of here!" "There's no time to get dressed." "We'll go this way." "Down the fire escape!" "Let's hear it, ladies and gentlemen." "Come on!" "Let's hear it for Monstro!" "( applause )" "Father, this is terrible." "We've got to go!" "Why, Helen?" " Come on." " What's happened?" "Hercules is in trouble." "Although that represents no novelty, I find it forbidding." "He brought it on himself." "One thing I do not understand..." "I did not decree that Hercules should be bereft of his divinity." "It was my edict that he be sent to Pluto's kingdom for a hundred years." "How, then, has this other thing happened?" "Can nobody tell me?" " Eros!" " Yes, sir, Zeus." "Find Nemesis." "Bring her to me." "At once, my liege Zeus." "He should have been back here by now." "His duds are here." "Which means he ain't coming back here!" "Outside!" "Get the boys!" "Get the boys." "Get the boys." "There goes the dame." "The big phony and the runt must be inside." "Let's go." "They're probably on the floor." "Follow them." "Don't lose them." "She left without saying goodbye." "But don't you see what she's doing?" "She trying to draw them away so we can escape." "You said those men were dangerous." "Dangerous!" "Boy, I'll say." " H urry!" " Where you going?" "We have to stop those men." "On foot?" "You're gonna chase them on foot?" " With the chariot." " Chariot?" "What chariot?" "That's not a chariot." "What are you doing?" "Now he's done it!" "Man:" "Hey, come back with my chariot!" "Hey, Mister!" "Wait for your sauerkraut!" "Man:" "Hey "Muscles," that ain't the way to Disneyland!" "( cars honking )" "We'll make mincemeat out of those guys." " Coming up to a red light." " Forget about the light." "Cut them off at the zoo." "Don't let those punks get away." "Where is everybody?" "( car honking )" "Where did that monster go with my chariot?" "!" "I want my chariot." "Helen:" "We're out of gas!" "Let's get in there!" "Hercules doesn't flee from anybody." "Come on, Herc!" "No time to argue!" "Zeus sent for me?" "When I ordered you down to Earth, did I not charge you to see that Hercules was delivered to the realm of Pluto?" " It is as Zeus says." " Then, what happened?" "How is it that Hercules was instead deprived of his divinity, his strength, and finds himself in his present mortal predicament?" "Well... ?" "Well!" "?" "I was sent on another mission." "The substitute." "Who gave you another mission to supersede that of mine?" "Speak up, or I will blast you where you stand!" "( tires squeal )" "Here comes Tony." " Where's all the other guys?" " I n the other cars." "Okay, you take a couple of boys and go in that door, all the other guys, come with me." "Where are we going?" "That way!" "Now, Nemesis, speak or I'll... !" "No!" "No, Mighty Zeus." "I beg you!" "It was J uno." "She bade me do what I did." "So, interfering again." "I've told you I will not tolerate your everlasting interference." "I thought it best, to save a lot of trouble." "I will discuss this with you later." "Zeus, will you not save Hercules?" "Let him abide by the consequences of his own folly and obstinacy." "Oh, no." "Herc!" "Hercules is in great peril." "If Zeus does not relent, there's nothing we can do." " There is." " What?" "We may send aid to Hercules." "We?" "Send help to Hercules?" "You know where to find them." "And they'll listen to you." "I know they will." " Who?" " Atlas and Samson." "Hercules!" "Get up!" "Come up here!" " Come on, Hercules." " Hercules, get up!" "He's not coming." "Are you all right, boy?" "You all right?" "Go get them!" "Come on, go get them!" "Who sent Atlas and Samson to Hercules' aid?" "Is it not enough that Hercules has been causing all that trouble by himself?" "Call those other two away, at once." "Mercury... ?" " Zeus?" " Was it you?" "It was I ." "How dare you go above my head?" "I feared for Hercules' safety." "Bereft of his strength, he's as helpless as a child in the world of mortal men." "It is not to be borne." "Hercules treated as a common mortal by those scoundrels." "Then save him, Mighty Zeus!" "He deserves all he's getting." "When I want your opinion, I'll ask for it." "Hercules is a son of Zeus." "I n treating him as they do, those scoundrels down there show disrespect for his father." "Then save him, Great Zeus, even if it is only because he is your son." "No mortal shall ever triumph over a son of Zeus!" "( thunder )" "I don't see nothing." "It's all very dark in there." "Fire torpedo!" "Aw, you gotta put a dime in." "Forget it." "You can see all the way to Jersey!" "It's really something, huh?" "I've never been up here, you know." "Kind of makes you feel like..." "some sort of god or something." "Too bad it's a little cloudy today." "Well, you can still see pretty far." "I can see the whole river." "Look at that big boat down there." "You know, Herc, that looks like the boat you were on." "Take a look at it, Herc, I think it's..." "Hey, Herc?" "Where'd you go, Herc?" "I have been willful." "I have been disobedient." "Mighty Zeus has more wisdom than Hercules." "He knew better what is best for him." "Please, Mighty Zeus, relent." "You'll be sorry." "Zeus has only to speak now for Hercules to obey." "( thunder )" "Herc?" "Where'd you go, Herc?" "Hey, Herc!" "Herc!" "H uh, strongest guy in the world..." "tying up with a nothing like me." "Imagine..." "He really made me feel like something..." "a half-pint like me." "I ain't never gonna forget him." "Never." "Only, where did he go?" "( jazz music )" "Radio:" "Don't grieve, my friend." "I n the memory that leaves you, separation may have a quiet happiness all its own." "Herc?" "We are friends, you and I ." "And nothing can take that from us." "Herc?" "Herc!" "Where are you, Herc?" "What are you doing in my radio?" "Herc..." "It's me!" "It's Pretzi!" "Why did you take a powder like that?" "Why did you just leave?" "I didn't say anything out of line, did I?" "Or do nothing?" "Did I , Herc?" "I enjoyed knowing you, my little friend." "Gee, Herc." "Ain't I never gonna see you again?" "Ain't you never coming back?" "Even for a visit?" "'Cause if you ain't, it's sure gonna be lonesome for me again." "Herc, we really did all them things, didn't we?" "I didn't just imagine all them things, did I?" "It wasn't like what the head shrinkers call," ""wishful thinking," was it, Herc?" "Radio:" "Any time you wish me to be with you, all you need to do is think of me." "and there I shall be, in your mind and in your heart..." "for as long as you want me to be, as long as you need me." "Radio:" "Due to temporary atmospheric difficulties, we were interrupted in our broadcast." "We resume..." "Herc?" "Herc?" ""Any time you need me, any time you want me, just think of me, and I'll be there for as long as you want me to."" "Yeah." "I think I'll eat an apple." "And this is what I saw on the world below." "It all sounds revoltingly noisy." "Leave me, now." "I would think on what I've been told." "You, too, my love." "( screaming )" "( screaming continues )"