"There is nothing more important to a man than his family." "These men, these men of honour, they too are my family." "La Famiglia Corleone." "I now invite you to be reborn as one of us." "Thanks, bro." "You are now one of our qualified men." "Good for you, kid." "Look at this kid." "This is the closest you'll come to working with an Academy Award winner." "Nice try, Turtle." "So the three episodes of A Different World" "I did with Marisa Tomei were a figment of my imagination?" "Imagine getting off this game." "Hold on, E, let me ask the Boss of All Bosses if I can roll with you." "Even Capone takes a night off to hang out with his boys." "Yeah, you're right." "Hang on, let me get my jacket." "There you go." "Ari hasn't called me all day." "He's been your agent 24 hours, relax." "Don't feel bad." "He hasn't called me either." "And I told the president of Warner's to fuck himself last night." "He'll call when he has something to tell you." "Can we not talk business tonight?" "This is a hang-loose, get-fucked-up, guys' night out." "That's what it's gonna be." "Just the four of us." "How are you?" "Hi, guys." "You can't have a fun guys' night out with me?" "We love you, Sloan, you know that." "But... it's the law." "You don't invite your girl on a boys' night out." "OK, in fairness to E, he had no idea I was gonna be here tonight." "Pull this leg and it plays Jingle Bells." "I'm serious." "My girlfriend from DC is meeting me here." "Yeah?" "What does she look like?" "It's guys' night out." "Don't worry about that." "Touche." " Dibs." " That's not her." "Do you remember me?" "You bought me a birthday drink." "Vodka tonic and 25, right?" "How about I return the favour and buy you one?" "Absolutely." "Come sit, join us." "What's next?" "You got a girl coming too?" "It's Ari." " How was dinner with Alan?" " Ask him if he found me a job yet." "Dinner was great." "Tell Drama he's on my to-do list right after inserting needles in my cock." "Put Vince on." "I got news and I don't want you taking the credit for it." "Vince is busy, Ari." "Talk." "Alan felt so bad about last night he wants to bump Vince up to $10 million for A2." "Alan's moving up to 10, what do you think?" " The number's 20." " We're holding at 20." " Put Vince on." " He wants to talk to you." "Tell him Alan's a liar, and I don't deal with liars." "Let's go to the bar so we don't have to wait for the waitress." "We can always go to my place so we don't have to wait for a bartender." "We'll catch you guys later." " Tell him." " He wants you..." "I heard him." "Put him on the phone, E." "He's gone, Ari." "We do not want to get on Alan Gray's bad side." " What do you want me to tell you?" " Put him on the phone, you dick!" " You don't want me on your bad side." " What are you gonna do?" "This." "He didn't want to talk to me?" " This night is a disaster." " All of a sudden we're on E's date." " You wanna blow out?" " Yeah, come on." " You guys are leaving?" " Yeah." " Oh, my God." "Hi, Tori!" " Hi, baby." "Maybe it will salvage this night after all." "Hi, it's Johnny Drama." "Nice to meet you." "Tori." "Nice to meet you." " The girl was cold." " Ice cold." "Why, because you guys couldn't close?" "She said she doesn't date." "Brad Pitt couldn't close her." "Did you hear what she said when I offered to buy her a drink?" " No, what?" " "No, thank you"." "What a bitch." "All right, guys." "This is Sloan, so stop." " Didn't we just see her?" " How whipped is this guy?" " Hey, babe." " Hi, babe." "You guys sound drunk." "You weren't drunk when I left." " We're having a good time now." " Good." "Tell him." "Tori wants me to tell you that it was really nice meeting you." "Tell her it was nice meeting her too." "And she thinks you're really cute." " Cute?" "That's cool." " Who's cute?" " Tell him the other thing." " No." "Yes!" "Here, I'll tell him." "I'll tell him." " OK, wait." " Does she think one of us is cute?" "Tori wants me to tell you that she wants to have a threesome with me and you." "Sleep on that, E." "OK, we gotta go." "I love you." "Bye, babe." " What's up?" " She like one of us or not?" " I thought you guys didn't like her." " I loved her." "Yeah, me too." "She's smokin'." "So who'd she say was cute?" " Me." " You?" "Why would she tell Sloan you're cute?" "They're drunk." "She wants a threesome." "So why aren't you in your car?" " Cos it's a joke." " No woman should ever joke about that!" "No, they should not." "I'm so whackin' off to your girlfriend tonight." " Loser." " I was gonna whack off to Vince's girl." "But this tops that." " Hello." " Hey, Johnny, I have Ari for Vince." "Vince is sleeping." "I'll talk to Ari." "Vince isn't available, but I have Drama." "I don't wanna talk to Drama." "I want Vince." " Sorry, I don't have Ari any more." " You just had him for Vince." "You told me Vince was sleeping and now I lost him." "Tell Vince to call Ari when he wakes up and I'll have him again." " Vince just walked in." "You got Ari now?" " I have Vince now." "I have Ari." "Can I say that you won't talk to Ari unless he talks to me?" "Here's Johnny." " Yeah." " What do you need?" " I need a job, Ari." " I'll see what I can do." " Do better than that." " How?" " Promise you'll see what you can do." " Drama..." "Promise, or I'm not gonna put Vince on." "I promise I will do all I can for you." "Sorry, I had him but now I don't." "Ari left three messages on my cell." "Yeah." "He's probably freaking' about making the Warner's call." "Can you imagine the look on Alan's face when Ari says no to 10?" "Don't fuck with the boys from PS 154." "Speaking of fucking, did he tell you what Sloan said?" "No, what'd she say?" "Why did I think you would forget about that?" " I was thinking about it all night." " Like you weren't." "What'd she say?" "Sloan and Tori want E to be the meat in their girl-girl sandwich." "No!" "Is it true?" " What do you think?" " You'd enjoy it." "Sloan'd do that?" "I have a little theory that all women love other women." "Probably because I love all women." "She was drunk and it will never happen." "Drunk or not, she wouldn't have put it out there if it wasn't a possibility." "Exactly." "You might have to push her a little." "Yeah, E, are you man enough to push?" " I'm man enough to leave." " Off to see Sloan?" "I wonder what you'll talk about!" " See you guys later." " Take this seriously." "When opportunity knocks, let her the fuck in." "And for God's sakes, let her go down on your girlfriend!" "Yes, Alan, yes, listen." "You've been more than generous." "You know actors." "Crazy comes with the territory." "I understand, Ari." "But if this nonsense continues much longer I might get mad." "Believe me, Alan, I more than anyone do not want to get you mad." "I have seen you on the racquetball court." "I know that franchises do not grow on trees." "I will call Vince myself and tell him how mad I will be if he tries to pull a Chappelle." "I like your new attitude, Ari." "You shoulda moved to a boutique agency years ago." " Thank you, sir." " Anyway..." "I'm willing to go up to $12.5 million to wrap this up." "12 and a half?" "But, Ari, wrapped up means you call me... today by 4:00." " Lloyd, get Vince on the phone!" " Give me the only answer that I want." "Consider it done." "It better be." "Lloyd!" "Do you have Vince?" "No, I have Drama who says that he's been authorised to tell you that Vince will not speak to you until he, Drama, has a job." " Really?" " Really." "Question." "No lox at staff meetings now, Ari?" "Cost cutting until we get into the new offices." "There will be lox in the new year." "Until then, enjoy the gourmet chicken salad." "Anyway, people, staff meeting has been cancelled." "You all have one goal today." "To get Vincent Chase's brother Johnny Chase a job." "Any job." "I don't care if it's a porn shoot in which he is being gang-raped by silverback apes." "If there are cameras rolling, everybody wins." "Ten grand to anyone that can deliver this to me today." " Can I vie for the ten grand prize?" " Sure, but you'll get paid in yen." "Now try E one more fucking time." "There's another email." "What does it say?" ""You drunken, Irish, short, midget cocksucker." ""I need someone to call me back"." " He sounds angry." " Yeah." " So what are you gonna do?" " Nothing to do." "Vince is a man of principle." "He was lied to." "It's not about the money, so..." " So." " So." "So what else?" "What else?" "How are you feeling?" "I'm OK, why?" " You guys were hammered last night." " We weren't that bad." "You weren't?" "Is there something you'd like to say?" " We were joking." " That's a mean joke." " You shouldn't tease a guy like that." " Like you'd do it." "I'd do it." "If you were OK with it." "I mean who wouldn't do it?" "Why wouldn't I do it?" "If you were OK with it." " Have you ever done anything like that?" " No." "Have you?" "What do you think?" "I think, no." "And I don't think you ever would." " Are you challenging me?" " I'm not saying it in a bad way." "I just don't think you would." "I would." "With you, once." "Once would be great." "And I'd have some rules." "No, no, no, no, no." "No rules." " Call it off." " That's what I'm gonna do." "A threesome with rules is a nightmare." "I don't know why I told you." "It's between me and my girlfriend." "No, it's between you, your girlfriend and a complete stranger." "Your best friends might have wisdom to impart." "The only threesome you've had involved each other." "I don't want that wisdom imparted." " Vince, talk to him." " What's the rule?" " What's the difference?" " You can't have sex with Tori." " How'd you know?" " Lucky guess." "I thought we were going to Book Soup." " That was a ruse." " This is gonna happen." "We gotta get you prepared, baby." " Grab a basket." " What, are we in Pathmark?" " Alan's on one." " It's only 3:30." " I have 3:32." " I'm supposed to have until 4:00." "Tell him you are looking for me and you will find me soon." "You are quite sure of it." "Go." "And then you get E and Vince on the phone now." " Seriously, how did you know?" " Sloan's a good girl." " This is just experimental." " More selfish than anything." "How is it selfish, Drama?" "She gets the whole experience." "You get to play the first half, then you gotta hit the bench." " It is bullshit." " No, guys." "This is a good thing." "I've had threesomes where both girls wanna watch me with the other, and threesomes where I have one girl I need to be more protective of." "The girl you have to be more protective of is the girl you want a relationship with." "Not the girl begging you to bang her best friend." "Look, Sloan's a good girl." "You'll have a good time." "Make sure she knows she's in first position." "And definitely get one of these." "There's no rule Sloan can't fuck her!" " Would you turn that fucking ringer off?" " How long can we ignore him?" "I'll take it." "Hello." "I'm workin' on stuff, Drama." "I'll get back to you." "Anyone make any progress getting Johnny Chase a job?" "I've got some calls in." "Any agents in the building have any calls in?" "Somebody better do fucking something or tomorrow you will be working for fucking Lloyd!" "Ari Gold's office." "12.5 million and no one will talk to me!" "Nobody will talk to me?" "It's Alan." "I think he'll talk to you." "Ari!" "That's a rental!" "That's a rental!" "No, can't do... !" "Alan, how are you?" "Well, it's 4:02 and I'm making my own calls." "How do I sound?" "Do you have the answer that I want?" "I'm just trying to locate Vince." " Let me ask you a question, Ari." " Yeah." "What are you gonna do when you can't locate me?" "What are you gonna do when I shut this place down to you and everyone you know?" "How will you explain to your clients that one of the largest studios in the world no longer exists?" "I wouldn't like that, Alan." "Let me propose something to you, Ari." "Something you can present to that... pretty boy client of yours, if you find him." "I'm listening." "I'm quite sure you are." " Look at this guy." " Fancy." " Are you going to your senior prom?" " Fuck off." " The maitre d' from Dakota called to confirm." " Dakota?" "Leave it to this guy to wine and dine a threesome." "It's from my private reserve." "In case you have a problem getting it started." "I know you're not a big porn guy, but DVD innovations are amazing." "Remember when you'd be tuggin' it and they'd cut to the guy's face and you wanted to kill yourself?" "Never again." "Multi-angles." " Good tip, Turtle." " Turtle, grab a picture." "This is before." "You better bring home the after." " You got the girls picking you up?" " What, no limo, E?" " This must be serious." "He brought his muscle." " Hey, Johnny, go deal." "You better go." "The girls are waiting." "I'm not going anywhere." "Don't be nervous." "You're just doing it twice." "I'm not abandoning you with Ari." "Unless Alan came up to 20, there's not much to talk about." " Go ahead, have a good time." " For all of us." " You sure?" " E, you better go or I will." "Lose the jacket." "You think?" " You got something for me, Ari?" " I don't have a job." " Then I can't let you pass." " Even if I got you a good audition?" " Even if Lloyd did?" " What do you got?" " A pilot Eddie Burns is producing." " Eddie Burns?" "I played ball with Eddie Burns." "He loves me." "It's four young Irish boys in New York." " I'm Irish from New York." " And you were once young." " It's the older brother." " This sounds perfect." "If you book it I get 10,000 bucks." "Yen, 10,000 yen." "Can I come in?" "Not so fast." "You handed me off to Lloyd." "One day, one audition." "Complain tomorrow." " Later, Ari." " E, Vince better not be in that car!" "I'm right here, Ari." "Bear with me, Lloyd, I wanna hear your big-picture strategy." "I'm listening, what's up?" "I just would like to ask you if you have a plan here, you know?" "If you do, I would love to hear it." " A plan?" " A plan for what you want." "If Alan offered you $20 million, would that make you happy?" " It's not about the money." " What is it, then?" "I want the days he promised." "I wanna do Medellin." "And if he does that, I will do Aquaman 2 for free." " It's not..." " I swear to God." "It's not gonna happen, Vince." "Medellin is done." "They made an offer to Benicio." "Alan owns your ass." "He fucked me, Ari." "To my face." "I'm sorry he lied." "This is the world we live in." "He also offered you $12.5 million in compensation." "He didn't have to do that." "You have to stop this." "All right?" "Because if you don't, he will sue you." "He will take everything." "He'll take the house, the cars, maybe even Turtle." "I don't care about any of that, except Turtle." " Thanks, Vince." " It's over, I'm sorry." "You have no other choice." "Do you understand?" " Yes, I understand." " Good." "Tomorrow, breakfast on the lot, we make amends." "I'm not going to breakfast." "Alan wants to look you in the face and you to tell him you're gonna honour the contract." " No more grief, we move on." " Ari, listen to me." "I'm not going to any fucking breakfast." "You can tell Alan I will show up every day and bust my ass like I've always done." "But I don't want the 12.5 million." "I want the seven that we agreed upon." " I won't be indebted to a douchebag." " He has other movies." "I don't care!" "I'll never work with him again anyway." "I don't care if he offers me a billion." "Do you understand?" "I'm done." "Kid's got principles." "Where's the fucking manager when I need him?" "Your parents must be happy having you home for the weekend." " They're not around any more." " I'm sorry, that's horrible." "Baby, they're not dead." "They retired to Flagstaff." "That's cool." " It's so cute how nervous he is." " Nervous?" "I'm not nervous." "It's OK, you don't have to be." "OK, Tori, you're freaking him out." " And you're so calm, Sloan?" " You're both nervous." "And it's cute." "We're gonna need to get drunk." " Definitely." " Yes." "Cheers." "I'm just kidding." "Ari, look, we're all very happy that Vince finally came to his senses." "How did you talk him off the ledge?" "It was simple, Dana." "I told him he would have to fuck you if he didn't." " You're such an asshole." " There he is." " How are you, Alan?" " Where's your client, Ari?" "We're all good." "Listen, it's a done deal." "Vince feels so bad about this he said forget about the 12.5, he'll do it for the 10." " But he wouldn't come to breakfast with me?" " No, it's not that." "Fucking actors think they have all the power." " Alan, Vince is a good kid." " Fuck Vince, Ari." "And fuck you." "OK, then." "Yeah, Ari, what's the problem?" "I needed you last night to talk some sense into Vince." "Vince told me everything was under control." " You told him to skip that breakfast?" " Vince didn't tell me about any breakfast." " Alan wanted one, Vince wouldn't go." " Jesus." "You know what?" "I'll have him call Alan and apologise." "No, it's too late for sorries." "Vince is out." "Jake Gyllenhaal is in." "Brokeback motherfucking Aquaman." "Take that, bitch." "Read about it in the papers, but pass it along to Vince or Drama or whoever will talk to you now." "All net, all net." " So how was it?" " Talk, E." "Come on, E, what you got?" "Nothing good." "Sloan wouldn't let you fuck her either?" "Did you skip a breakfast with Alan?" " I told Ari I wasn't going." " You never told me." " Fuck Alan." " Actually no, Vince." "We're the ones that are fucked." "English"