"Well, hello everybody and welcome to the afternoon 1 dollar movie" "I'm your host, Bob Doze but of course, you know that" "And today, we have a silver classic for you" "The Return of the Killer Tomatoes" "Sounds like a real winner, doesn't it" "Now, some lucky of you, today, if they know the secret word will have a chance to win our pot of gold..." "Jackpot!" "which today is up to ..." "$ 9.22" "Waww!" "And all you have to do to win is know our secret word when I call" "It's a common household word one use all the time and our secret word today is ..." "Ok now, on with "the" show" "Ok, let's all get comfy now" "Are you comfy?" "Good!" "Go on Sid!" "Hey, Sid, is this the right clip?" "We're supposed to be showing something called" "Return of the Killer Tomatoes" "Yeah but I like this one better" "Yeah, me too!" "But we showed it three times last week!" "Ok" "Glove!" "Ear plugs" "Quarter" "Quarter" "Succes!" "This time..." "We shall not fail!" "Hi Tara" "I brought your pizza" "One... pepperoni... extra cheese... and boysenberry sauce." "Well..." "Enjoy..." "Say..." "What do you and the professor do up here, anyway?" "I mean if you don't mind me asking" "Professor continues his recherche in gene splicing" "Just as he did at the University" "So, do you ever come to town?" "I never see you." "or him." "But... especially I never see you" "You know... well.. hmm.." "So, I guess then, you are doing research too?" "Are you his daughter?" "Or what?" "I'm his lover I also cook and clean" "They are gardeners and carpenters" "They are not Tomato-men" "Okay" "Well... hmm..." "Just remember:" "Finletter's For all your pizza needs" "US Customs division reports that tomato smuggling is at its highest level since the great tomato war" "We were there, at the border this afternoon when customs officials busted this car" "Officials say that most of those arrested with the illegal vegetables are young people" "They speculate that growing up in the years since the great tomato war this new generation has no fear of the potential danger involved" "It is a danger that" "Hey Matt" "Turn the damn channel, will ya?" "There's gotta be some better than this" "Want me to change the channel?" "This is Full Contact American's Cup yacht racing" "Welcome to the ..." "[noise]" "And to day 296 of the most exciting event in the world" "It's the United States vs England" "A revenge of a great rivalry going back to some 200 years" "Today both boats are being severely tested as ..." "[Complaints]" "Remember:" "Just say .." "Come on, look, who cares about tomatoes" "This is, son" "You weren't there" "We let them sneak in now" "Who knows where it'll lead you" "[Complaints]" "Not again..." "Hey buddy, back so soon, strike out already?" "I fairly can't get anything out of her, besides of her name" "Would you believe that she's old Gangreene's girlfriend?" "Tell me that all looney tunes got a girlfriend" "Chad!" "Got a girlfriend?" "Err.." "Not me, uncle but Gangreene, that nut on the hill" "Oh, Gangreene..." "Never did trust that fellow" "You know" "A lot of people thought he must have had more to do with the great tomato uprising that never came out" "Nothing ever proven now" "Oh, that was a long time ago, boys" "Things were different then" "Tomatoes were legal, you'd find them everywhere" "Excellent, there he goes again" "Sometimes I sure miss pizza with tomato sauce" "Alright, one medium coconut with anchovies and strawberry jam" "Right here On you" "I remember that first day they moved into the fields" "Nobody would took it seriously then but... before long they were in the suburbs and in the big inner cities" "Television stations began to cover, the media made a big deal" "First people ignored it" "Then they got scared" "Oh, you should have seen it They were running everywhere but some of us were there, we held the line" "I remember the day we lost Arkansas" "Before you knew it, the war was raging, from coast to coast" "Seattle then Boston" "Los Angeles and Baltimore!" "Soon they even reached New York City itself" "They hit us every which way imaginable" "On land" "Underwater" "Even in the air" "It got so bad, the bare mention of the word caused panic" "Tomato..." "Someone was behind all this." "But who?" "Uncle Sam assembled a crack team to find out" "There was Greg Colburn, my old buddy an intrepid underwater expert" "Sam Smith, Master of disguise" "And of course, yours truly, Lieutenant Wilbur Finletter" "You see, the key was music" "Music made them grow and only music could make them shrink" "But not just any music, hell no!" "One song in particular:" "Puberty Love" "The worst song ever recorded" "Put on the record player!" "When we blasted it over the stadium loud speakers, old boys," "I don't mind telling you that nothing nothing, ever sounded so wonderful" "But the shrinking tomatoes had called retreat" "I ordered the charge and the rest as they say, is history" "Hello, One-Dollar-Movie?" "Is this a new movie or "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes"?" "Looks to me like they just throw a lot of old scenes together to save money" "Only an idiot [..]" "Wrong number" "I guess sometimes this all sounds like an old movie" "But we squashed the tomatoes and captured their master" "Jim Richardson the press secretary to the President of the United States himself" "But Richardson will be behind bars for a long long time" "And we hold it up to a handful of brave soldiers and a catchy little tune called" "Puberty Love" "Puberty Love, Yurk!" "Puberty Love" "It was a fluke" "One in a million chance" "Who would have thought that one horrible song would shrink those giant tomatoes that I worked so hard to create?" "..." "This time..." "Music will be our victory not our defeat" "Miaow" "I'm sorry I didn't mean to" "Idiot!" "You've hurt Larry" "You'll never know what it is to love or be loved" "Emotions are for people, not for vegetables" "Igor!" "Come!" "Sir" "It is my pleasure to respond your immediate need" " and I'd just like to say that I ..." " Listen to me, pretty boy!" "I know you're hanging around just until something opens up in the tv news field." "But I just does not look right for a misanthrope of my stature to have a servant who looks like you!" "I'm sorry sir.." "I mean, Master" "I realize I'm some of a disappointment to you." "How's it?" "Oooh, come on" "Igor!" "Oh, cut that out!" "Mutant!" "No telling how it could affect the transformation process. 't's get rid of it!" "So long, sponge face" "Oh, he's so sexy [chatter]" "Can you prove to me that you're 18?" "No?" "Had a heck of a time finding you here" "Told you I'd be at the shoe store" "Ok, ladies, now what we need is:" "your name your phone number your address and a picture please, do not forget the picture" "Thank you" " What the hell are you doing?" " Shht" " Now, you wanna blow my science project" " What science project?" "Running a scam contest?" "What are these girls gonna do when they find out there's no winner?" "No problem, see, I'll graciously invite them out to dinner and then I present them with the second place prize" "It's me, yes." "Yeah, spare me, I give up." "Listen, uncle Wilbur wants us to work tonight" "Err.." "No, I can't do it tonight." "Listen." "See, that's Nancy over there, she's looking to bribe the judge" " you - yeah, that's me" "Yeah, I figured it, thanks a lot, pal" " Thank you buddy, thank you pal, we're roommates here" " Shmuck" " You think that I'm willing leave you out ..?" " yes" "Alright, well how about.." "See those over there?" "That's Tiffany" "She'd run for another judge" "No thanks, if I want a girl, I don't need your help" "Ok, alright, suit yourself, suit yourself" "Ladies, did I mention the Playboy centerfold opportunity?" "Don't worry little brother" "I'll protect you" "I don't mind if you're a fuzzy tomato" "Fuzzy tomato" "F.T." "That will be your name" "F.T." "And now" "Chad Finletter" "Zen Master of the fine art of pizza building will attempt the ultimate pizza" "He calls the pavan muses for inspiration and begins" "Ahh.." "Anchovies, yes Of course" "Raisin nuts" "Gummy bears Why not?" "Kiwi" "They laughed at me in Vienna but now, the final master's stroke:" "A dabbled peanut butter" "Wonder what this tasted like with tomato sauce?" "Yauw!" "Ah!" "And of course!" "Marshmallow!" "It's just..." "You surprised me" "Do you want to make love?" "Just a minute" "I'm a little thirsty" "What did you say?" "Do you want to make love?" "Maybe you'd better sit down" "Here it is." "Have a seat" "You look a little..." "tired" "Would you rather I cleaned up?" "No!" "No, that's fine I'll do that later" "You wish sex now?" "Yes" "No!" "Let me get you a towel" "Shht!" "Quite, F.T." "Here we go" "You don't wanted to get a chill" "I'll let you do that" "So, did you maybe fall down and ... bumped your head hard?" "Maybe did your mother drop you when you were a baby?" "You speak much English?" "I speak perfect English." "I also cook 850 international dishes perform 637 sexual acts and use all the popular home appliances" "Shall I cook you something?" "No, thank you" "How about a blowjob?" "NO!" "Let's talk about something else" "The weather!" "How's the weather?" "Wet, I guess." "Rain and all that..." "Not exactly a primo night for a stroll" "You know what I mean?" "So why are you here?" "I've ran away You're the only person I know so I came here" "You ran away." "Why?" "Did he hurt you?" "Tired." "Cold." "Is this your place of dwelling?" "Dwelling?" "You mean house?" "Here?" "No, I.. don't..." "live here." "It's a pizza place" "I have an appartment" "Good." "Then we'll go there." "Take me" "Take me" "Yes" "You're very assertive, you know but I like that" "I don't know how I'm gonna explain this to Matt..." "Buddy!" "I'm home" "Chad, buddy, you should have seen me last night" "This girl..." "She's a nice girl and everything, but ... err kinda weird duck, you know" "She study to be a flight attendant" "Come on, it's like studying to be a Metermate I mean... these just are.." "Towel please" "Chad!" "Buddy, listen, talk bastard cause I know that's not your mother up there" "Never put bananas and raisin nuts on the same pizza" "You would not believe the weird dream I had last night" "If it's got anything to do with the babe in the bath room who's going into the kitchen right now" " I will..." " She's real?" "She's here?" "!" "Who is she?" " Don't ask me, I ate right last night" " What do I do?" "Well, that depends on what you've already done" "So think!" "What happened last night?" "I went to the pizza place I made a pizza" "It started to rain, Tara showed up and wanted to make love" "Tara?" "The girl from the professor?" "That's right?" "That's Tara?" "That's great" "You see what's happening" "It's per mattress rubbing off on you." "Listen" " Introduce me to your girlfriend" " I don't think that's such a good idea" "You can't pretend that she doesn't exist" "You should have thought that before, it's a hazard to the trail" "You never go home, with someone in the dark, that you don't want to see in the light" "But it's ok, no, it's ok 'cause she looks Good!" " She looks very good, yes!" " That's not what I mean" "There's something.. strange about her" "She doesn't seem quite ..." "all there" "I saw nothing missing" "Hi!" "I'm Matt Stevens, I'm pleased to make your acquaintance, miss Tara" "Greetings Matt Stevens." "Shall I cook you breakfast?" "Breakfast, that would be great" "Good morning" "Greetings Chad." "Would you like breakfast as well?" "Sure" "Did you enjoy the sex?" "Sure" "I was my pleasure." "I wish I knew more about your pizza business." "Using extensive marketing surveys, and cost/ratio analysis, it is possible to significantly improve the productivity and therefore increase the profit margin." "Shall we discuss this at breakfast?" "Sure" "Good." "Then I will cook toasts, eggs, bacon, toasts, waffles and toasts" "You see what I mean?" "I see a beautiful women, making us breakfast" " We should be this lucky everyday" " Yeah, but I ..." "Listen, Chad..." "She's sexy, she's smart, she cooks, she cleans" "I think you found the perfect woman" " Yeah?" " Yeah" " So.." "Why don't you get dressed?" " Okay" "Shht.." "Quiet" "Oh!" "F.T.!" "Telling you she's a real cloud jacky" "If I were you ..." "Laughing?" "I'll show you something" "So, she's a little organic" "Tara!" "Where is that woman?" "Tara!" "Tara?" "Igooor!" "The crash let a grisly ### into body ## on the neighborhood hanging in trees, blood dripping" "Sir, do you recognize any of the victims?" "Mummy" " Top break kid!" " Igor!" "Stop clowning around" "Sorry, sir, we were just practicing" "Tara is missing!" "I have worked for days, weeks, monthes, years, minutes, seconds .." "to create the perfect woman!" "I cannot afford to have my work fall into the wrong hands!" "Nobody cooks toasts like that girl" "Go!" "Find her!" "Missing?" "Is this from a reliable source?" "Of course it's from a reliable source, you blond-headed boob!" "Now, go, get the truck" "You mean the KIGR News van?" "I don't care about how you call it" " Go!" " No problem" "Don't forget my regular pickup of formula" "I need it for my experiments" "Experiments, we'll continue Formula, at eleven" "Will... you.. be.. my friend?" "Business?" "Regular trash pickup" "Ok" "Show a little respect" "Is everything set?" "Teleprompter's queued and the camera's white balanced" "What?" "!" "The teleprompter is queued and the camera's white balanced" "I know what you said!" "What do you mean?" "The Pointdexter party to the first tee, please" "Pointdexter to the first tee" "What I mean is:" "we'll be here thursday night as planned" "Thursday?" "Thursday" "Perfect." "They'll never stop us this time" "This is domestic!" "Wait!" "Were are we going?" " I don't just had to get you outta there" " But why?" "Sex is good, sex is normal" "Yes, but, but whips and handcuffs are kinky" "Kinky?" "What's kinky?" " Well, that's kinky" " Look!" "A store!" "Oh, please, no more ###"