"Dharmendra!" " Pick up these plates!" "Bring the potatoes out when they're done." " Have you cleaned the bathroom?" "It was filthy yesterday!" " Dharmendra!" " Hang the clothes to dry... the sun's out!" "Do you need anything, Dad?" "Forget your papers for a minute and concentrate on him..." "He's been rehearsing his death for a week now." "You think he listens to me?" "As if me saying anything will make a difference..." "What the hell?" "Don't pour the damn tea so close to the accounts papers!" "Ridiculous..." "All we have are accounts papers." "God alone knows when we'll see some money." "It'll come when these snide comments stop." "Did you see this?" "Last month's electricity bill." "6,478 rupees..." "Just one month, not the whole year!" "Can't switch the damn TV off for a second!" ""No money, no money!"" "I have an idea..." "Let's get rid of the lights and fans..." "No electricity, no bill!" "I said TV" " Why can't you give a straight answer?" "!" "By the way, have you called the plumber?" "Oh, don't worry..." "The tap's only been leaking for 3 days now..." "We'll call him when the house is a pool." "His number's right here." "You too could have called him." "This is the limit..." "Dharmendra!" "Go see what's happened now!" "Day before he was lying in the lawn with ketchup on his chest." " When the neighbours came to check he said let's go for dinner..." "I mean, really!" "I don't know what to say, Rahul!" "I don't know what to tell the publishers!" "Your deadline is in two months!" "Listen, I'm just re-working the ending..." "I'm fixing the plot points..." "I wasn't quite happy with it." "I've been a bit pre-occupied with that Artist Retreat thing." "I'm happy for you that the Artist Retreat is coming together." "I really am happy and I know that you can multi-task..." "But right now I need a moment as your agent and not as your friend." "Okay?" "Listen, I'm not your friend;" "I'm your agent..." "And as your agent I'm telling you, that you're hot property right now." "Your last book is still on the shelves." "I've got you a sweet deal for this new book..." "If you miss that deadline, you have to return the advance." "Okay, I get it, I get." "I promise in the next 20 days you'll have something." "20 days!" " 20 days." " Oh, that reminds me..." "I need you to sign these for my friends who love your work..." "I don't know why, but I just need you to sign them." "Oh..." "Just give me a second..." "It's my Dad." "On!" "Say hi!" "Hi, Dad." "What?" "!" "Hey, Mike!" "Two vodka's coming up!" "Tonight's Ladies' Night!" "You guys like the music?" "I'll tell the DJ!" "Cheers, guys!" "Don't drink and drive, alright?" "!" " Yeah, we'll be safe." "Hey, Mike!" " Hey, Mike!" "Working late tonight?" "Hey..." "Yeah, just sending a few e-mails..." " Okay." "See you tomorrow!" " Bye, see you tomorrow Natalie..." " Goodnight!" " Goodnight!" "Hello?" "Arjun, where are you, man?" "Why aren't you answering your phone?" "Why?" "What happened?" "Dad called..." "Dadu's had a heart attack..." "Shit..." "Is he okay?" "Yeah, he's stable now..." "But he's still in the ICU..." "Why didn't they call me?" "Arjun..." "I don't have time for your childishness." "I'm taking an Air India flight day after..." "It'll arrive at 2 pm." " And I checked..." " If you take the 7.40 flight from New Jersey we can leave the airport together." "Hold on." "7.40..." "New Jersey..." "Arjun..." "It's alright, man, I can buy you the ticket..." "No need..." "I'll manage." "Bye." "Okay fine..." "Bye." "" Arjun!" "How are you?" "Where's your bag?" "Hello?" "Where are you'll?" " We're already here..." " Can't find the keys..." " They aren't under the mat." "Ahh..." "Found it." " Okay see you'll soon." "Hey, Geishu!" "Shake hands!" "Yes!" "Good boy!" "What's up?" "!" " Missed you..." "What?" "Rahul!" "Rahul!" "Arj" " Oho!" "Rahul!" " How are you?" " How are you?" "So good to see you!" "What's this new look!" " How was the flight?" " It was alright!" " His bag got left behind." " Where's your bag?" "Actually, the airline lost my bags..." "Are you sure it was the airline and not you?" " How's Dadu?" " Uhh..." "He's okay..." " He's old now, no..." "He'll be under observation for a couple of days..." "Can we meet him now?" " Now?" " Yeah..." "Visiting hours are over now..." "Go see him in the morning." "I'll stay there tonight." "Oh God, Who did this?" "!" "Who's dirty shoe prints are these?" " Mom... it's..." "Geishu!" "Bad dog!" " Morn, he'll clean it up." " The house rules are the same!" " Nothing's changed!" " Where's Uncle?" " He's on a cruise..." " No network 'til they dock." "How's work?" " I'll make it in two minutes!" " I'm going to shower." "What's wrong?" "I made okra..." "Such a fussy boy..." "I love okra!" " What else did you make?" " Come, see..." "Who's going to clean this mess?" "Arjun!" " Very nice." "So this is a place for creative people to work in peace?" "Yup." " Nice." " Artist Retreat..." "The investors are almost ready." "How's the novel coming along?" "There's some work left..." "Actually, I'm lying..." "There's a lot of work left." " God knows how you manage so much work..." " I owe it all to your okra." " Drink?" " Yeah..." " Arjun?" " Nah, thanks, Dad..." "Okay, Arjun..." "Apple pie?" "Did you make this?" "I did...but it's Timmy Aunty's recipe..." "How's her catering business doing?" " Oh, wonderful..." "In fact she thinks I should open a branch here..." " You should!" " Why not, Ma!" " You should!" " Really?" "In fact, all her recipes are superb..." "They're not that great..." " Cheers..." " Cheers, Dad..." "She earns your annual income in 3 months..." "Here we go..." "So it makes no difference if you think it's great or not..." "Morn..." "No no, but she's right!" "What difference does it make?" " It's really nice..." "There's lots more!" " Arjun?" "You've only been on your phone since you got here." " Why don't you talk to us a little..." "Or do you have nothing to say?" "No, no..." "Tell me..." "How's the website job going?" "Ummm..." "I actually quit that last month..." " You quit?" " Why?" "I mean..." " So now?" "Now, I'm concentrating on my writing..." "Finishing my novel..." " Finishing?" " Yeah, almost..." "Great..." " Good show!" "Everyone in this family's a novelist now." "Shouldn't you have asked before taking such a big decision?" " We could have discussed it?" "Dad..." "What do you know about my work?" "What would I ask?" "You're right..." "What do I know about anything?" " You could have asked Rahul!" " Dad..." " Dad!" "Dad, please don't interfere with my work..." "I'm interfering?" " Harsh..." " Talk properly..." " Harsh!" " What "Harsh, Harsh"?" "!" " The poor child just got here..." " He quits something every month..." "Stop, man, please!" " Arjun..." "I'll eat in my room from now, if all you'll do is pick on me" "Oh, sorry..." "I don't have a room anymore, right?" " Arjun!" " Arjun, it's just a few days, man..." "Sleep in my room!" "You seem to care more about your room than your career." "Dad!" " Why do you guys do this Ma?" " What could I do?" "The doctor's told me to sleep on a hard mattress..." "It's okay, Ma." "I'm going back to the hospital..." " Straight there?" " Yes, straight there." "Ma..." " ls there any green tea?" " Green tea?" "Since when do you drink green tea?" "I got you this..." "That's beautiful!" " You like it?" " Of course!" "That's lovely..." " My perfect child." " That I am..." "Can't believe the state of this car." "It looks like a junkyard.." " By the Way"" "Morn said she shifted to your room to sleep on a different mattress." "But both the rooms have the same mattress." "What?" "!" "The same mattress in both rooms?" "!" " What now, Sherlock?" "Dude..." "Morn and Dad are sleeping separately." "You would too if you lived in the same room as Dad for 35 years." "That's my pen, man!" "Leave this damn music system and watch the road!" "If it bothers you so much maybe you should learn how to drive." " I know how to drive..." " Yeah, right..." "I'm just not comfortable driving." "What is this?" "!" "Toll is 30 rupees, this is your change." "Oho!" "Stop moving!" "It tickles!" "How will she tie your gown?" "!" "Get lost, fatty!" " Dad, what are you doing" " She just wants to see me naked!" "Sorry, sorry..." " Why am I wearing an apron?" "!" "I was an army man for 21 years!" "You'll get your pants back when you're discharged!" "Yeah, right..." "Hey, fatty!" "Stop it, Dad..." "Dadu!" "There they are." "Welcome, kids!" "Hey, hey!" "Don't you dare..." "Hands up!" " I said, hands up!" " This is a hospital, Dad..." " We're not kids anymore..." "Ahhhh!" "You also!" "Hey, fatty!" " Die fatty die!" "Stupid fatty..." "Get up, kids..." "Your mother's here..." "What are you two doing?" "!" "Behaving like 5 year olds..." "Hello, Dadu..." "Welcome, welcome!" "Wow..." " Excuse me!" "This hospital has a great psychiatric department..." " Please take him there!" "It's not funny, okay!" " Oh, come on..." " Apologise to her!" "Sorry, you big fat cow!" "Who are you calling a cow?" "!" " How was the flight?" " It was good, Dadu..." "Just latch this here, and prick..." "Ow, you idiot!" "Are you trying to kill me?" "!" "You can check your sugar without blood tests!" " What kind of gift is this!" " Well, what do you want?" "!" "Dadu..." "What are you laughing at, rascal?" "What did you get me?" "Urn... chocolate?" " Chocolate!" " Arjun!" "His sugar has to go up to use your lovely machine!" "Exactly!" "Arjun!" "What's going on?" "Make yourself useful..." "Go make this payment..." "Yes, sir." "Please wait." "Hey, Wasim!" "Arjun!" "How are you, man?" "!" "When did you get here?" "Should have called!" "I landed yesterday, man..." "What are you doing here?" "Dadu had a heart attack..." "Dadu..." "He's alive?" "!" " Ass!" "I'll hit you!" " How's he doing?" "He's okay now..." "What are you doing here?" "All okay?" "Ummm... hemorrhoids..." "What?" "!" "Hemorrhoids, man!" "Don't laugh, jerk!" "You ran away to the US and I'm stuck here doing photography!" "Rotting all day in dad's studio..." "Smile and click, smile and click!" "You're chilling in life, man!" "Really?" "!" "Come to the studio and see the stunners of Coonoor!" "Of course!" "Let's catch up soon!" "Come tonight!" " Tonight..." " Remember Malik's bungalow?" "Malik..." "That's where the party is!" "Come!" "I can't, man..." "Family scene..." "How can you ditch a party, bro..." "Bro, isn't that your brother?" "Boobly?" " What's he doing?" "!" " Don't ask, man..." "He's training for some Mr. Ooty bodybuilding competition..." " Whose child is this?" " Hi, Boobly!" "Why don't you check out some properties for your retreat here?" " Why not?" " I'll talk to the broker." "I said, switch off your phone!" "Yes... and put some adhesive there..." " What's happening?" " And what about this leak here?" "He'll take care of it!" "He's a professional, we're paying him!" "He'll handle it." " The bucket's full..." " I am aware." "Take lessons..." "She knows everything." " Geishu!" "Put him down!" "Not on the sofa.." "Put him down!" "Arjun!" "the doctor's calling..." "Empty this bucket..." "Dad!" "I have to take Geishu for a walk..." "One second..." "Arjun, don't be a useless fellow!" "Morn told me to!" "Dad, I'm coming..." "Let it be." "Come, Geishu!" "Tomorrow?" "Okay..." "Dad, I don't get it..." "If the doctors recommend treating Dadu in Bangalore..." "What's the problem?" "It's not so simple..." "It cost 7 lakh rupees to put the stents in... 7!" "What happened to the advance you were supposed to get?" "It's still bloody stuck!" "It'll come..." "Just taking time..." "But don't worry..." "I'll talk to Shashi..." "How can you keep asking your younger brother for money?" "!" "Have some shame!" "What's shameful about it!" "We're both his sons!" "Yes, except he takes care of all the expenses!" "And where does Dad stay?" "He doesn't take care of that!" " You'll are unbelievable, you'll fight over anything!" "All Shashi's college expenses were handled by me!" "Harsh Kapoor!" " Morn, dad, please!" "No need!" "We won't take money from Shashi." " Where will the money come from?" " Break my fixed deposit." "Sir!" "Can you please help?" " I'm coming..." " Ma please don't break your FD" " Just hold this, please." "What a mess you've made!" "What the hell are you doing?" " I can help with the money..." " No no no!" "You've been talking about your investment forever..." " It's alright..." " Rahul!" "Get a cloth!" "Yes!" "Getting it..." "Why can't we break my deposit?" "I had to pay the loan installment!" "Where would I get that?" "From your imaginary catering business?" "!" " That was my money!" " Yeah, right..." "I've been saving for my business for 3 years!" "What were you saving?" "!" "The money I give you to run the house, right?" "So?" " How is that your money?" " Dad, stop it!" "Leave me!" " Where did you spend it?" " Morn..." " Your business is in the dumps." " Stop behaving like children..." " Did you give it to Anu?" " Stop your nonsense!" "Hold this." "I said, hold this!" "Are you insane?" "You sit here and concoct these wild fantasies in your head!" "Dad!" "Sir..." "Should I come later?" " Oh, so Anu just happened to get a new car?" "Smriti told me!" "Where did Anu get that much money?" " How would I know?" "!" " It just fell into her lap'?" "!" "Maybe it did!" "Do I look like her accountant?" " Get up now!" "Enough!" "Get out!" " Dad..." "Not a chance!" "Sit down and finish your work!" " I said get up!" "' Stop it!" "Fix this leak!" "And switch off your damn phone!" "What's happening?" "Everyone's at it without me today?" "This isn't the time for jokes." "Dad, Morn..." "I've told you I have some money..." "I can invest later!" " Who needs money?" " Just stay out of it..." "I'm talking to Morn!" "Your father has blown up all my money!" "Now we have to beg your uncle." "Enough, Sunita!" "That's enough!" " How much money do you need?" " You keep quiet." "Arjun..." "I've told you already!" "We're discussing actual money and not a packet of mm's..." "Stay out of it!" "It's not like I live off you!" "Just shut up!" "All of you!" "I'm tired of you'll!" "I was better off at Timmy's!" "That's a lovely idea, Sunita..." "Last time you went for 2 months..." "Go for 6 months now!" "Dad, stop shouting..." "Tell me what the problem is!" "Arjun, do me a favour." "Handle your own problems!" " Why are you always taunting me?" "!" " I'm not taunting you!" " I'm done, sir!" " Done?" "How much?" "Anything you can spare in these tough times..." " I'll slap this idiot..." " Dad, enough now!" " Switch off your phone!" " It's your phone, Dad!" "I know it's my phone, I'm not deaf!" "Everyone thinks I'm an idiot around here..." "You're not an idiot, I'm the idiot..." "No one's told me what's happening since I got here!" "I'm always treated like an outsider!" "Rahul, stop touching me!" " Stay away!" " Arjun..." "I'm always the last to find out what's happening here..." "You called Rahul to tell him about Dadu..." "Not me!" "Why?" "!" "Because you always react like a child!" " Shut up, Rahul!" " You shut up!" "Talk softly!" "Use your millions from your "blog" to help out!" "You think you're a big shot because you wrote some book?" "!" "Arjun!" "Stop!" "Stop it!" "Only you and I know the truth about you!" " I'll break his goddamn face!" " You've gone mad!" "Enough, mom!" "It's always me..." " What are you doing?" "!" " What do you mean what am I doing?" "!" "All you'll want to do is create a scene!" "Arjun..." "Arjun, listen, please..." "Arjun, listen to me!" "Morn, even you know he's a thief!" "You'll are both here together after 5 years..." "Must you behave like bloody animals?" "!" "Everything's always my fault, Ma!" "Rahul is totally innocent!" "And everything was just a co-incidence?" "Arjun, listen..." " Hi this is Wasim!" "Sorry, can't talk now..." "Leave a message!" " Guys!" "Guys!" "Come on!" " Someone bet on Sahil!" " You Will?" " What kind of friends do you have, man?" "!" "Someone put money on me, guys..." "I've known you'll for years!" " Come on, guys!" " Come on, guys..." "One second, one second!" "Guys!" "I believe in Sahil!" "Put money on him!" "He has core strength!" "Aww man!" "Kishore!" "Kishore the fuse is out again!" "Fix it!" " We love you, Kishore!" " Ya, we love you very much!" "Now, listen." "I'm betting on Sahil." "Twenty bucks!" "Twenty bucks!" "Good job, T!" "I'm putting 20 bucks..." "Excuse me, it's a lot of money!" "And he'll put money!" "Come on!" "Come on, man!" "What the hell?" "Okay, you?" "Okay, excuse me." "You!" "He'll put money!" "He looks skinny, but he has core strength!" "These guns have a lot of power!" " Come on, come on!" " Alright... ya!" "Sahil!" "Ya?" "Ya!" "Sahil!" "Sahil!" "Sahil!" "Bunkoo,dude..." "Your whole drink is on me!" "Shit..." "Bunkooo..." "Umm... sorry." "I was just going out..." "I should be the one apologizing..." "I lost your money!" "No, that's okay..." "Actually, I knew Sahil has no core strength..." "Are you Sahil's friend?" "Umm..." "No..." "I'm Wasim's friend..." "Wasim?" "He knows the owners of this place." "I'm the owner..." "I don't know Wasim." "Oh!" "Umm..." "I was just trying to call Wasim, but I couldn't get through..." "One second." "You're sitting here rolling this..." "Gatecrashing my party..." "Wasim must be here..." "I couldn't find him..." " Seriously?" "Couldn't get through to him?" "Kishore!" "Kishore!" "Kishore throw this guy out!" "Okay, I'll leave!" "I'm sorry!" " Can I take that?" " No no no, this is going to stay here..." "I'm sorry, I was just having a really bad day, so I thought..." "I'm sorry, what?" "Seriously?" "Leave!" " I'm sorry, I know you're upset..." " Leave!" "Ya, okay I'm leaving..." "What's so funny?" "I'm so sorry!" "Shit..." "I was just kidding!" "I'm sorry!" "It's supposed to be funny!" "I'm sorry!" " Okay..." " Ya!" " Listen, you're cool, right?" " Good one..." "Ya!" " Do you have a lighter?" " Yeah, of course..." " I'm Arjun." "Tia..." "Tia!" " Hi..." " Hi!" "Why are you so troubled, Arjun?" "Don't ask..." "I'm having such a rubbish day..." "Fought with your girlfriend?" "Then?" "With my brother." "Your butler?" "Not butler, brother!" "Why would I fight with a butler?" "Actually... yeah!" "And even if I did, why would I sit here like this?" "!" "Point taken..." "This bungalow's been empty for years... never seen you around..." "The tea state and this bungalow belong to my grandfather..." "I've lived in Bombay since I was 5..." "because of Dad's work." "So, planning to shift here?" "No!" "Planning to rent it out!" "But my best friend Bunkoo's boyfriend is from Ooty..." "So I had to have one last party!" "O...kay?" "!" " Wasim!" " One second..." "Bro?" "Are you okay?" "Wasim!" "Ya..." "Him!" "See?" "I was calling him?" " Are you okay?" " Ya..." " You okay, bro?" " Ya..." "False alarm." "Wasim!" "Tia." "Tia!" "Wasim." " Hi Wasim!" "She's the owner of this place." "What are you'll doing in the bathroom?" " We were about to take a shower." " What?" "!" " Come on..." " Ya, one minute..." " You okay, Wasim?" " I'm fine now." "Tia!" "Come on, let's get this party started!" "Okay!" "You're good?" "Arjun, Wasim..." "let's go!" "Time to party!" "Guys!" "ls there an Arjun here?" "Ummm... me!" "Don't puke in the car, man!" "Get out!" "I'll leave you here on the road!" " What are you doing to me!" " Man, couldn't you have waited two minutes to throw up..." " My day was finally picking up at that party..." "The property agent's coming at 11.30." "He'll show you some places..." "Then go see Dadu and tell him we're taking him to Bangalore." "I'll figure out the money with Shashi." " You want tea?" " No, thanks..." "I'm fine." " Dad..." " Ya?" "Why did Morn stay with Timmy Aunty for 2 months?" " She came back, right?" " That's not what I asked, Dad..." "To belittle me, what else..." "Timmy started her catering business after her divorce..." "Morn thinks she can do it too." "How can she compare me to that bloody wife-beater?" "!" "Do I drink like Timmy's ex?" "Have I ever hit her?" "Abused her?" "Dad..." "Why do you always do this?" "You never listen to anyone." "Morn only needs your support..." "Nothing else." "Really?" "And what about me?" "Where was everyone when I needed support?" "Everything was fine 'til I worked at the bank." "I started this business for you'll..." "For you." "For her!" "What's wrong with that?" "There is a financial crisis." "What can I possibly do?" "Kill myself?" "Dad, please..." "I'm tired..." "I know... and you're a good man." "Everything will be okay, I promise." "Just one day at a time, okay?" "One day at a time..." "Thanks,buddy." "Sir, all of Coonoor's best properties are with us." " Really?" " So don't worry..." "Yes, Mr. Makhija, somehow the properties today didn't reflect that." "You didn't like anything today, right?" "I'll have a fresh batch ready for you tomorrow..." "Yes, please..." "A quiet place for creative people..." " Not abandoned, haunted houses." " Thank you." "Yeah, Nik!" "Woah!" " Rahul..." " Arjun?" "!" "Dadu was getting bored, man..." "Ohh, just take him to a disco then, bro." "Disco?" "The nurse is asking for the reports..." "Go get them." "Fine." " Dadu, I'm coming..." " This is a hospital!" "I want to go to a disco!" " Tell me something..." "Why are you like this?" "Like what?" "Grumpy..." "Don't do this, don't do that, not like this, not like that..." "Relax, son..." "Relax..." "Okay, I'm sorry..." "But trust me, whatever we do, we do for you..." "That's true..." "And that's why, we're taking you to Bangalore for treatment..." "I don't want to go anywhere!" "I'm not going!" "Next week is my birthday!" "I want to celebrate my birthday with my family." "Happy Birthday, Dadu, but your treatment is very important." " I don't want any treatment!" "I don't aspire to live much longer." "When I go, I'll go like this " " I'm right, son..." " But if you do want to do something for me..." "Then I have two wishes." "Which are?" "The first is that, when I die, don't light my pyre." "So, what, you'll just lie there?" "No, duffer!" "Bury me!" " With my friends from my army regiment..." "In the army burial ground!" "Wow." "And what's the other wish?" "The other one is, before I go, I want a happy family photograph..." " Which I can put on my wall..." "It should read - 'Kapoor and Sons, since 1921'." "Very nice..." "The creative juices are really flowing today, huh?" "Well, when Uncle gets here, we can fulfill this wish." "Okay!" "Listen, man..." "We're here only for a few days..." "Let's not fight..." "I'm sorry for last night." " Here you go..." "Your toll..." " What?" "And this is for the hospital..." "Sorry." "So you're showing me some places tomorrow, right?" " Rahul!" " I hope it's a nice place..." "Bye!" " Yeah?" " Mom's calling you in." "Okay..." "Thanks." " Listen!" " Yeah?" "She wants a couple of cigarettes..." "Ha ha, very funny..." "Want to share?" "Thanks." "What did the doctors say?" " What difference does it make?" "Ask me what Dadu said." "What?" "He wants to get discharged and celebrate his birthday at home..." "Really?" "!" "It's his 90th birthday, man..." "Let's do something!" "Actually, I was thinking of the same thing..." "Like a surprise 90th birthday party?" "It'll be nice..." "With the beautiful grannies of Coonoor?" "No, with Russian strippers and caviar." "Stupid..." "Dunno about caviar, but Russian strippers will make Dadu's day." "Remember when Morn found Dadu's porn stash?" "Yeah, behind the pot!" "Tied up in a plastic bag..." "He's a crazy dude..." "One of those magazines were mine, man..." "No." "Barely Legal." " Barely Legal?" "!" " Ya." "Oh God..." "It was depressing!" "My only magazine!" "But I managed..." "Ah..." "Still managing, huh?" "Doing really well, actually..." "Practice makes perfect..." "Wait 'til I tell Morn about your antics..." "Look here!" "Thanks..." "'Barely Perfect'..." " Wait 'til I tell Morn." " What are you doing, man?" " Nothing, just photoshop." " Delete it!" " I'm only putting it on instagram!" " Arjun, I was just joking!" "Watch it, I'll tweet it..." "Arjun, just leave it!" "Ninety years..." "Ninety... and is this all Burma Teak wood?" "Yeah." " Hi." " Hi!" "Listen... can I click some pictures?" " Of course." " Thank you." "Wow, who's that!" "I think I'm rushing into this marriage!" "So cute, dude!" "Hit on him!" " May I have a look inside?" " Sure!" "Have you lost it?" " He's so cute, man, I can't help it!" " Tia!" "Come with us, Tia..." "No, no..." "You guys go!" "It's your pre-Honeymoon period..." "What'll I do there?" "Okay, but we've decided we're coming back for your birthday." "Not this birthday thing again." "I honestly want to spend alone time here." "Plus, I have work - a presentation to finish and... now I have to go in." " Yes, sir!" "Corning." " Okay, go..." " You have a really nice house, Tia!" " Thank you." "So I'll share the pictures with my partners and..." "Meanwhile, if there's a family elder I can talk to about business and such..." "Please give me the number?" "Umm... me." " Oh, sorry." " No, that's fine." "When I think of owners, they're usually old men." "Stomach out, no hair, etc..." "Of course!" "But I look pretty much the same without my wig and dentures." "How did you find the place, son?" " You're funny." " You're hot." "I'm really funny!" "Sometimes." "Funny girl..." "Yeah, it was a pleasure." " Keep in touch." " You too." " Okay, bye..." " Bye!" "And this was taken in Hawaii." "You know, son..." "I used to dream of going to Hawaii..." "And roaming naked on the beach..." "One chica here and one..." "That dream should have been fulfilled in your youth." "Ignore her." "Maybe we should take you to France for your birthday." "France has the nude beaches." "Take me anywhere..." "All I have to do is shave my chest." "I mean, if you want to get six pack abs, that'll be good too..." "Leave this." "Tell me..." "Can you watch anything you want on this... iPanda?" "Yeah..." " Films, too?" " Yes..." "Like... exciting films?" "Exciting?" "What do they call it... blue films?" "!" "You can..." " How exciting!" " There are cartoon versions now!" " Ohhh!" " Yeah!" "It's so easy for your generation." "How so?" "I lied to your Grandma and watched Ram Teri Ganga Maili 14 times!" "14!" "Just for one scene..." "When Mandakini comes in that wet sari..." "After that waterfall..." "I would dream of standing behind her..." "She would embrace me" "I think the bananas are rotten, buddy..." "That's what they call a change of topic!" "My arms call out to you..." " I have a lotto learn from you." "Check this out!" "Oi!" "It's her!" "Stop me before I climb into this iPanda!" "Arjun..." "I have an idea." "Are you sure Dadu won't like a foxy 10x10 photo of your Grandma more?" "You know Dadu..." "No, dude... your Grandma was quite sexy." " Not my Grandmom!" " This could break!" "Come here for a second!" "Bring this inside!" "What man..." "Look it's ready..." "Karim!" " Stop staring at Aunty and bring her in!" " Uncle!" "White and red small" " Boo!" "Oh my God!" "Arjun!" "Hi!" " How are you?" " Good!" "Not available." " Where can I get it?" " No idea, ma'am." "What are you looking for?" "You know..." "We used to eat those sweet cigarettes as kids?" "Oh ya ya..." "I can't find them anywhere and I love them!" " Ah!" " Yeah..." "What are you doing here?" "I was actually in Wasim's studio..." "Want to see?" "Okay... what?" " Come I'll show... come!" " Okay!" " Aye!" "Okay, please pack this!" " Come!" "Don't judge, it's for Dadu's birthday!" "Boobly!" "I know this bodybuilding competition is important..." "I'll get people!" " Hi!" " Hi!" "What's up?" "Tia..." "I'm good!" "How are you?" "Stop enjoying this and take madam inside." "Don't touch her there..." "Boobly's called you for the bodybuilding thing." "Come man, please... it'll be fun." "I have no interest in naked men." "Try and understand, man..." "Boobly doesn't have my brains or looks!" " He only knows bodybuilding!" " Let it go, man..." "He needs the encouragement..." "It'll be fun!" "I'll come!" "You?" "Really?" "Ya!" " That's nice." " I'm nice." "Ya... she's nice." "Okay, I guess I'll come too..." "Day after, right?" "Look at this turncoat." "Team player, bro!" "Boobly's like my brother!" "Oh, is that right?" "!" " Day after?" " Day after." "Listen, this is the catering area." "We need 10 tables set up there." "Okay" " Mehfooz!" "Up there!" " DJ?" "The DJ's ready." "Ready, ready..." " I'm going now." " Confetti!" "Morn!" " Where's the phone diary kept?" " It's right there!" "Here!" "Oh, okay." "I finally spoke to Shashi Uncle..." "He said he'll be here as soon as he can." "Okay, thank goodness." "And also why don't you call some of your hot friends." "Oh and listen..." "Don't tell Shashi Uncle anything." "About what?" "All that drama with your Dad..." "Hello?" "This is Rahul calling on behalf of Mr. Ramesh Chand..." "May I speak to Mr. Chaudhry?" "What?" "!" "I'm sorry to hear that." " Bro..." "Looks like at this rate only you, me and Wasim will be at this party." "Ask Dad to call his friends!" "Ask your Dad to call his friends!" "What's cooking?" "Smells really nice!" "Morn, I never talk to Shashi Uncle about such things." "I'm not choosing sides or saying who's right..." "But lately, you're always picking fights with Dad." "I'm picking fights?" "!" "I'm just telling it as I see it." "You know what my 35th anniversary gift was?" "A Mixer-Grinder..." " From Harsh." "There's no difference between Dharmendra and me, these days." " What?" "!" " It's not like I can be Anu!" "Ever since she opened her boutique, all I hear is " ""Anu's taste", "Anu's business sense"..." "Morn, not this Anu spiel again..." "Who cares about Anu's taste?" "!" "Can't we all talk about this like mature adults?" "!" "Maybe not all of us..." "Morn, come to London with me for a few days?" "With you?" "What would I do there?" "We'll party, obviously!" "No, no..." "You're always so busy..." "Morn I've lived there for 8 years..." "If you don't come, how will you see how I live... where I live...and more importantly with whom I live?" "Ah!" "Point!" "But you forget... as your mother, I know you better than anyone else." "Okay, if you want to do something for me..." "Forget this Nicky person and get me a nice Indian bride." " Grandchildren playing on my lap..." " End of conversation!" "Look who it is!" "I'm ready to have Rahul's perfect children!" "Idiots." "Oh, Rahul..." "She's perfect!" "Look what you've done, Rahul!" "Bye!" " I'm here 'til the 12th!" "I've called for the documents..." "They should be here in a couple of days." "Here we are at the main porch." "Say hello to our helpful broker, Mr. Makhija." "It's not African, it's an Indian name!" "And this, Nick, is the beautiful owner of this house..." "Tia." "Say hi." "Hi!" "Who am I talking to?" "Be nice." "I'm heading to the garden to show you the wonderful sunset." "I really can't believe this place was shut for 2 years." "If I was you, I'd come once every 2 months." "It's only a 2 hour flight from Mumbai!" "Yeah... but I'm scared of flying." "So?" "Everyone's afraid of something..." "What are you afraid of?" "I'm not telling you." "Why?" "!" "Come on..." " It's embarrassing." " Come on, Rahul..." " Rats..." " What?" "!" "Rats!" "Are you serious?" "!" "I'm serious!" "Very manly!" "There's a Nepalese film playing at Liberty..." "Sorry, Kishore, I don't know Nepalese..." "Tia he isn't asking you out..." "I think he's asking for himself." "I know!" "My sense of humour..." "Please go!" " Your dinner?" " I'll eat out." "Bye, Kishore..." "I love you, Kishore!" "Does he always look so scared?" " Always!" "Are there any good restaurants around here?" "Maybe Shinchow's?" "!" "Kishore always looks depressed!" "He's actually really happy!" "By the way..." "You're right!" "This place is shady as hell!" "Warned you..." "So spicy!" "Something's stuck in your teeth..." "Sorry..." "More beer?" "2 more beers, please!" "Oh!" "There's something coming out of your nose..." "Sorry..." "Now?" "I got you!" "Okay... what's more embarrassing..." "Chicken stuck in your teeth or a booger coming out of your nose?" "A booger stuck in my teeth!" "What?" "!" "Can that even happen?" "!" "Didn't you do this as a kid?" "Yuck!" "Rahul!" " I used to love it, man!" "That's sick!" "Thank you!" "No way Tia..." "There's a limit to being crazy..." "There is no such limit!" "There is!" "You can't do it, anyway..." "If I do this, we are going to the dance floor." " Done." " Okay." "Shit!" "Sorry!" "Sir!" "It was a mosquito!" "You'll get dengue!" "What mosquito?" "I also got bitten..." "Sir!" "Show me your moves!" "What moves?" "Everyone's got moves!" "Such as?" "Such as..." "The Shampoo Ad move!" "Okay" "Come on!" "Your turn." "Okay..." "The Milkshake!" "Okay..." "Oh God!" "Superb!" "This is my favourite!" "Grinding spices move!" "Alright!" "Okay." "Grinding spices!" "The Iron move!" "Pigeon!" "Electrocution!" "Okay... bye..." "Bye..." "See you." " Let's go." " Oh shit..." "What's wrong?" " Kishore!" "The fuse is out again!" "Tell me if there are any more issues with this house..." "I'll call Makhija." " Rat!" " What the f" "Are you nuts?" "!" "This might work..." "Or not." "It's a little small, isn't it?" "What?" "What is it?" " Dude..." " Tia, you're sick." "What are you saying?" "You're leaving?" "!" "My fuse... oh." "Sorry!" "It was a joke!" "Kishore, man!" "Bang it right in the centre..." "You hold this." "I'll lift you up." "Are you sure?" "Okay, one second..." "One second!" "Okay, ready." "Okay, ready." "You're really heavy, man!" " Shut up!" "I have heavy bones!" " Oh God!" " Oh God!" "Sorry..." "Let me see?" "I think it's a scratch or" "A little bit here..." "Right there..." "Is it hurting?" " Ma'am?" "!" "Kishore!" "Where are you?" "Kishore, where were you?" "!" "I was watching the movie!" "Why didn't you fix this?" "That's for the pump room!" "The fuse is here." "Why is it there?" "You didn't fix it..." "Thank God..." "I'll leave..." "It's late." " Yeah..." " Okay..." " Okay!" " Bye..." " Bye." "Bunkoo..." "I'm so" "Please go, Kishore." "Thank you." "Shit, Bunkoo..." "Shit shit shit..." "I'm so stupid!" "Shit, I'm so stupid!" "This is all your fault!" "Hey you think he won't want my house now?" " Listen, let's discuss this over Skype on Thursday..." "I can't right now!" "I've got too much on my plate!" "I'm at the hospital, I'll call you later." "Bye." "What's wrong?" "Problem?" "I'm never gonna finish this damn book!" "Harsh isn't here?" "No, Why?" "He said he'd come with you..." "Now he's using you as an excuse." "Morn!" "Don't be so suspicious all the time..." "I'm going to Dadu." "Woah..." "How can they be so huge?" "!" "You have no idea how big they can be, Dadu!" "I love this so much..." "It stopped!" "You need a credit card to watch more..." "Give me yours!" "Mine... actually..." "Rahul!" "You have a credit card, right?" "Ya, Why?" "I..." "I... want to download some hymns!" " Yeah, Wasim!" " Turning to religion, Dadu?" "Ever since my heart attack it's the only thing that keeps happy." " Really?" " Yes!" "Dadu, I'm off." "What's your hurry?" "I'm going to see Boobly's big ones..." "It's free..." "Wanna come?" "No, no, I have my hymns." " Okay, bye..." " Bye!" "Oi!" "spiritual card." "He's so sexy." "Boobly!" "This girl thinks you're sexy!" "Thanks for coming." "Very welcome." "This is mad!" "How can I be enjoying this?" "!" "What's wrong with me!" "Look at Mr. Red Briefs..." "Such a long nose!" "I can't believe THAT'S what you noticed!" "I mean..." "You know what they say..." "A long nose means a long..." "Ah..." "Your nose is pretty tiny." "It's Boobly!" "Oh my God!" "This was my favourite pose!" "Oh, wow... butt in, chest out!" "Wow!" "Too hot!" "One second..." "God, why is my brother always calling me!" "Hello?" "Yeah..." "Yes, I'll take morn tomorrow morning..." "Ya, don't worry..." "I'll be there." "See you in a bit." "I'll call you... bye." "So Beavis and Butthead patched up!" "Yeah..." "Beavis and Butthead patched up for now." " Have you got siblings?" " Nope." "One and only!" "Wow!" "You're so lucky..." "You must've been such a pampered kid." "I mean, my sweetie pie, my princess..." "That never happened to me." "You want to be called 'princess' and 'sweetie pie'?" "No, man..." "I didn't get much attention growing up..." "My parents died when I was 13." "So I know what you mean." "Oh..." "I'm sorry..." "I didn't mean" "No, it's okay!" "It's not like you knew..." "It's okay." "I have an offer for you." "Take my family and give me your bungalow?" "Oh, really!" "I'll think about it..." " Princess!" " Oh ya, of course!" " Here you go." " Some music?" " Ya!" "Nice pictures..." "Thank you..." " Listen I don't mean to be inappropriate..." " but isn't this too big for you?" " Arjun!" " What is this, 48 G?" "!" "Pervert!" "It's Bunkoo's!" " Let's meet Bunkoo again, man." " You're sick!" "You know that, right?" " Sick!" " Jealous?" "Of course... that's why I sent her far, far away." "Man... someone sedate my brother." " Why do you fight with him so much?" " Why do you ask so many questions?" "That's how you make friends!" " And you don't give up, huh?" " No!" "I don't give up." "Come on, you can tell me." "So... 5 years ago, I was writing my first novel." "My brother's first book had failed..." "and he was struggling with his second." "When his second book was published, a year later... it was a bestseller... did really well..." "The only problem was that..." "his idea was exactly like mine..." "No..." "Of course the writing style was different... different ending..." "But... subplots, characters... very similar." "Didn't you ever confront him about it?" "No... everyone would have said I'm jealous of his success, as always." "Besides..." "Morn said this could destroy our family... so..." "Maybe..." "Just think... if my name had been on that book today publishers would be chasing me..." "And my parents wouldn't think I'm such a big loser." "I have something to cheer you up." "First close your eyes... come on." " What are your intentions?" " Just wait." "Hold on..." "Okay..." "Actually you're right..." "I do feel better!" " See!" " Thanks!" "I'll take it home." "Give it back!" "It's not your size." "Free tomorrow evening?" "Why?" "Arjun Kapoor's suitcase." "The lock's broken!" "Morn!" "Where's Arjun?" " He went to pick up Wasim!" "You can talk to the airline if there's a problem..." " Hello..." "Nice to see you..." "Welcome!" " We are the first ones!" " Smile!" " Cheese!" " Thank you!" " Thank you, uncle... take care!" " Who's an uncle?" "!" " Thank you..." "Who taught you all this?" "!" "The ward boy?" "No one!" "I invented the selfie myself!" "You and your stories..." "What stories?" "!" "Wow, she's hot!" "She was my flatmate last year." " You live with a chick?" " Ya!" "I live with Boobly." "Can I borrow Rahul for a minute?" " Come with me..." " Excuse me." " There's someone I want you to meet..." " Who?" "Just come!" " Morn." " I'll hang myself if..." " Preet!" "Hi!" "I want you to meet my son, Rahul." "Hi..." "Preet's family owns the King's Craig estate now." " Really!" " Yes!" "Hi, Preet..." "I'm Rahul." "Look at those kids!" "Excuse me." "What the hell are you doing?" "!" "I like your shoes!" "Orange is my favourite colour!" "Is it?" "!" " They're actually tangerine." " Oh." "Nice..." "So... what do you do?" "I work for a tea company." "Boobly!" " Hi, what's up?" " How are you?" "Thanks for coming." "You're welcome!" " Hey!" "Hi, Arjun!" "Hey, hi!" " What's up?" "We have organic green teas..." "Black teas, white teas, silver tips... and Oolong!" "Have you tried it?" "No, I'm an alcoholic..." "so just alcohol for me." "I'm just kidding." "I'll go get myself a beer." "Want one?" "No..." " Be right back." " Okay!" "Wow!" "Thank you!" " Did you do all of this?" " Yes!" "If not a writer, then at least a balloon man." " Shut up!" " Save me, man." "Mom's stuck me with some tea lady!" "Woah, let me see!" "Hi!" "Hi..." "What are you doing here?" "I'm here for his Dadu's birthday!" "How do you know her?" "We're friends..." "Wait." "How do you know each other?" "I'm thinking of leasing her house for the Artist Retreat." "My house!" "Oh!" "Okay" "I didn't know you'll were friends!" "He's my older brother." "Butthead?" "!" " Rahul!" " Same thing." " Yeah... no... never mind." " Small world!" " Yeah, small world, after all..." "Really..." " Will you have something?" " Of course!" "I don't mind a drink..." " Beer?" " Ya... sure." " What about you?" " No... thanks." "Listen, I'm really sorry about the other day..." " It's okay..." " I'm really embarrassed." "Apology balloons?" "Yes!" "For you!" "Please!" "Thanks..." "It's okay, I was pretty drunk, too." "Yeah!" "I think they put something in those memos." "Food?" "Nah, my stomach's off..." "Something's burning..." "Careful, Dharmendra!" "It's your butt, buddy!" "Hemorrhoids!" "Dadu's here..." "Uncle, Dadu's here." "Guys, Dadu's here." " Is the gift ready?" " Yeah, I'll get it." "Guys!" "Dadu's here... come!" "Wasim!" "Hurry up, old man..." "Dadu, this is my friend..." "Tia." " Happy birthday, Dadu!" " Thank you..." "I have a confession.." "You're so cute, I can't take my eyes off you." "Really..." "She's hitting on me..." "Girls today, I tell you..." "Will you go on a date to Hawaii with me?" "Hawaii?" "!" "Of course!" "Come on, play your turn!" "Alright, fine..." "Look!" "Wow, Dadu!" "Great hand!" "Sorry, we pack." "Pack!" "Damnit" "I'm so sorry!" "So then, I win..." "You come here!" "You're my lucky charm!" "Dharmu!" "Get her a chair!" " Come sit!" " Okay..." "Arjun, you come here." "You're my lucky charm!" "Yes, Mr. Choksi..." "I'll just go to the loo and come." "Okay!" "Come on!" "Arjun..." "Did you invite her?" "Who her?" "Anu Aunty, man!" "He's always drunk!" "I didn't invite her..." "Lowest card wins!" "Dad the party's screwed now!" "I called all my old bank colleagues!" "It would be strange to not call her!" "And you know when Dadu was sick..." " Can you'll please taste this soup?" "Is the salt okay?" " Something wrong?" " No, no... nothing." "Needs more salt..." "Okay, why are you making such a face?" "!" "I just have to use the loo..." "So go!" "Taste it, please?" " Hello!" "How are you?" " Hi, Anu Aunty!" " Just needs a little salt, Morn..." "Ummm..." "Hi!" "Dadu's outside, let's go meet him?" "I thought I'll meet you first." "Really..." " Hello!" " Hi, Anu Aunty..." " Hi, Harsh!" " Hi..." "Hi, Anu..." "Here!" "Your favourite caramel cookies!" "Oh ya!" "Thank you!" "When you were a kid you used to always come to me... and ask me for "just one more"!" "Really!" " I'm so happy to see you after so long." "Look at you now!" "Handsome!" " Who invited her?" "Dadu's right there..." " Hi, Sunita!" "You look nice!" "I need some ice..." " I'll get it!" " Get her out of my house." " Please, Harsh!" " She's a guest..." " Guest, my bloody foot!" " Morn, please..." " Sunita..." " Anu, one sec." "I raise you 10!" "Aye!" " This is cheating!" "Like I would cheat on my birthday!" "Please!" "You're so old now, you're relying on a child for help!" "One second!" "Choksi uncle!" "I'm taking my 30 bucks back." "Calm down, everybody!" "One second, everybody!" " I'm really sorry..." " I don't want to upset anybody..." "I'm sorry..." "I shouldn't have come." "I'm so sorry..." "Come with me." "Anu..." "What's he saying sorry for?" "!" "Are you done?" "Happy now?" "Is this how we treat friends?" "!" "Stuffing your face with cake has made you so fat!" " How dare you call me fat!" "I hope you fall in a ditch!" "Come here, Boobly!" "Do something!" "You come to my house and call me a cheat!" "How many such friends do you have?" "Just tell me all at once." "You're a lunatic." "You belong in an asylum." " Dad..." " Good plan!" "Just get me out of the way!" "I'm going to break this goddamn thing!" " Dad!" "I'll give you a slap!" "Boobly, are you mad?" "!" "Put Uncle down!" " Don't put him down!" " Dad!" " Ma, please!" " I'd like to see what you can do!" " Dad, calm down!" " Put him down!" " Is he nuts?" "!" "Put him down, you bloody lunatic!" "' Dad!" "I'll break your limbs if you do that again!" "How dare he bring her here!" "How dare Harsh do that!" "Yeah, Ma..." " He humiliated in front of the world!" " Morn, you're absolutely right..." "I still have to go to the loo." "Just wait here 2 seconds..." "Please don't move!" " Choksi Uncle, I apologise..." "Uncle, wait..." "Look here, donkey!" "Cookies, it seems..." " Dadu..." " Fogie, look here!" " Dadu, stop!" "She forgot her goddamn cookies!" "What a great party, huh?" "Having fun?" "It's over!" "Go home!" "I'm serious!" "Go home!" "Where were you?" "Do you have any sense at all?" "Couldn't you sit with mum for 5 minutes?" "I don't know about Dadu... but everyone else sure was surprised." "Yeah!" "Do you think Dad and Anu Aunty...?" "No, man..." "Dad's a lot of things but he's not a cheater." "Morn just overreacts..." "Morn and overreaction?" "!" "Shut up..." "How's your novel coming along?" "Have you got a publisher?" "No, man..." "Same old crap..." "What crap?" "Everyone wants a happy ending..." "And your story?" "It's real." "And real life never guarantees a happy ending..." "Isn't that why we look for it in stories?" "Sometimes I wish I had finished college..." "Or completed the photography course..." "Maybe I wouldn't be as successful as you, but at least I'd have a back up." "Don't be so stressed..." "Easy for you to say..." "You're a successful novelist..." "an entrepreneur and what am I ?" "I'm just a part-time bartender struggling to be a writer." "What's wrong with that?" "Every struggler works part-time..." "I've done it!" "Yeah, but for how long?" "!" "As a kid, I used to wonder what you had that I didn't..." "It took me all these years to realise that this is who I am..." "I'm second best..." "I'm just a runner up." "Listen... if you're comfortable with it..." "I can talk to an agent for you." "I could even read your novel... give you feedback." "If you're okay with it." "I haven't carried a copy with me..." "Well, okay..." "But if you ever need help... just ask." "Ya!" "Or else you could give it to Morn..." "Her feedback is surprisingly great." "Really..." "Tell me something..." "What do you think of Tia?" "Tia..." "Dude, she is so hot!" "I'm going for it." "Really?" "Look at your face!" "I have no interest in her." "Relax." "You make your move..." "I'm very happy in my relationship." "Ah... video chat!" "She's hot or what?" "She's good." "Dude, but you can't even drive..." "I can please her in other ways!" " Really!" " Want me to teach you?" "Yeah, right." "Actually, today let me teach you." "Catch!" " Accelerate, man..." " The bloody music is distracting me!" " Careful, careful, careful!" " Sorry, bro!" "You almost killed him!" "You drive then, Schumacher!" "Shut this guy up, man!" "Why is he honking at me!" "Chill, man!" "Geishu!" "Attack!" "Are you in labour or what?" "!" "Okay, I have an idea..." " Something I saw on the internet..." "Drive on the side..." " What are you planning?" " Just wait..." " What are you doing, man?" " You drive like an old lady!" "Hi!" "Take that!" " Arjun!" "Arjun!" "What do I do?" "!" " Brake !" "Brake!" "Brake!" "Geishu!" "Uh oh..." "Oh, man..." "What do we do?" "There's a hammer in the garage..." "Break everything in the house..." "TV, fridge, AC... why not?" "Dad, it's not his fault, it's mine..." "I was driving." "What an embarrassing scolding!" "He didn't even call you an idiot or a jackass!" "Come on!" " Rahul!" "Arjun!" "Dadu's called everyone inside." "Let's go, step child." "This cake tastes like poop!" "You've tasted poop, Dadu?" "Shut up, you fool!" "It's sugar free because of your diabetes." "I would rather die eating sugar than relive that party." "So..." "Is anyone going to apologise for yesterday?" "Okay, I'll start..." "I'm sorry for calling that idiot Choksi a shithead." "By the way... who invited Choksi?" "I'm sorry, Dadu..." "And... who invited Anu?" "That was me, again..." "I just thought I'd invite some of Dad's colleagues..." "Sorry..." "Alright then, that's settled." "Can I have that?" " What are you doing?" " My toy..." "My wish." "Go stand there." " I want to take a picture..." " Come on, Dad..." " Okay guys, gather around." "Smile, smile, smile..." "Smile..." "I wish Shashi and family were here..." " I would have my happy family photo." " He's coming tonight." "And you can have your family photo!" "We must click the photograph soon or else I might be the one cut out of it!" "Dad, why must you always talk about dying?" "Speaking of death..." "Rahul, have you booked my burial spot?" " What?" "!" " Dadu..." "I..." "What's this new nonsense?" "Dadu said he wants to be buried..." "I thought it was a joke..." "Dad, they won't allow it!" "People can't just change their religion!" "Whether you're a man or tomato..." "once you're dead, you're dead." " Arjun!" " Yes?" "Go book my burial spot..." "Umm..." "Dad?" "Dad!" "What, Dad-Dad?" "!" "I'm dying, not him!" "I never know what's going on in this house..." " Where are we going?" " On a date." " Ohh..." "Hawaii!" "Nah... even better!" "Really!" "Really." "You'll see!" "What would your tombstone read?" "Tia Mallik..." "Struck down by Boobly's love..." "For eternity." "So romantic..." "I can make my pecs dance like Boobly." "Let's see!" "Hang on..." " Nothing's happening!" " It's inside the t-shirt!" "Show me, then!" "There's no one like Boobly!" " I don't know Rahul that well... but..." "Maybe the similarities between your novels really was co-incidence?" "Maybe." "You're really defending him..." "What's up?" "Nothing at all..." "Really... you can tell me!" "I got you something!" "Really?" "What?" "What are you doing?" "!" "Tia..." "Arjun?" "Will you... have some sweet cigarettes?" "Oh my God!" "Are you serious?" "!" "How can I say no?" "Light?" "Oh!" "Yes, ma'am!" "Thank you." "Listen, I'm sorry about yesterday..." "About Choksi Uncle and Dadu..." "Are you crazy?" "!" "I'm sorry!" "My family doesn't usually behave like that..." "Correction... they don't behave like that in public." "You should be happy you have a family..." "You really miss your family, don't you?" "So!" "What would your tombstone say?" "Let's see..." "Arjun Kapoor... from 1985 tom'?" "2050, at least!" "Okay, 2050 at least." "Right..." "Okay..." "'These are my last few words...'" "'Remember my story..." "If you can.'" "That's damn impressive!" "You like it?" "I mean..." "Oh, look at me, I'm a writer..." "Yeah..." "Just a little..." "Thank you." " Thanks for these." " You're welcome..." "How much longer are you here?" "2 days... and you?" "4 days..." "Oh." "Okay, listen... this may sound a bit crazy... but..." "When we're together..." "I don't know..." "It feels like..." "It just..." "Something just..." " Fits?" " Yeah..." "Does it feel like that to you?" "Yeah." "Stay back a few days?" "If not for me, then for Bunkoo?" "Bunkoo..." "For Bunkoo..." "I'm convinced." "Yes!" "Why few days... at least 10!" "I had a great day..." "Me too." "Okay, bye!" " Bye..." " Bye..." "Bye..." "I was in a graveyard." "On a date..." "With Arjun..." "Yeah..." "I really like him." "I wish I hadn't made such a mess by kissing his brother!" " Arjun, where are the car keys?" " Arjun!" "Where is he?" "!" " Arjun?" "What's up?" "Nothing!" "Mom's phone is here..." "She asked for it..." " Thanks." " Yeah." " Arjun!" "Rahul!" "Look who's here!" "It's Shashi Uncle!" "Sorry Dadu, we missed your birthday..." "And finally!" "Uncle!" "Aunty!" "Hi!" "How are you?" " Hi Aunty, looking nice!" " How was the cruise?" "Hey Rahul!" "Look how excited Dadu is with his wheelchair!" " Don't worry about it, we've booked a room at Elgon Hotel." "He says he's going to a hotel!" "You're home now, idiot..." "You're staying here!" "Listen now!" "I want to take a picture of the whole family tomorrow." " I want to put it up." "You know that duffer friend of yours..." "The photographer?" "I'll call him!" " Dharmendra, take the bags in now!" "Take these bags into the room." "Come on, let's all have dinner." " Sunita, look what I found!" " What?" "Gorgeous pictures!" "That's from our honeymoon..." "Some wine for the hardworking ladies!" "Thank you!" "Wow!" "Please teach her something..." "Shut up!" "Just go!" "Sunita, ask Timmy to e-mail me some recipes." "Sharic just loves this stuff!" "Of course, she'll e-mail you tomorrow itself!" "Sunita!" "This custard is delicious!" " Rahul, you ass!" "Let me have a little!" " Dad..." "Dad!" "You're not allowed!" "Doctors' instructions!" "Just one!" "Sunita, you look like a Bollywood actress!" "Let me see!" "Wow!" "Seriously!" " She really does!" "Wow..." "Please, Sharic..." "I was way better looking than you!" "Girls used to line up here for Shashi and me!" "Of course!" " Rubbish, Dad..." " Hang on!" "They used to line up for me." " Absolutely right!" " Correct, Dadu!" " And what was Grandma doing?" " She was long gone!" "Whatever it is!" "I miss those days..." "I wouldn't give those memories up for a million dollars..." "Oh, Uncle..." "Please!" "You'd eat poop for a million dollars!" " Yuck!" " Dad!" "You'll would all eat poop for 10 million dollars!" "Sharic would eat poop for 50 bucks!" " So Sharic... ls the guitar just for girls or..." " No, no!" "I play!" " Play some Mehmood!" " Justin Bieber, bro!" " No Justin Bieber!" "Play something vintage!" "Rahul also sings!" "Rahul, come on, sing!" "Please, please!" "Come on, Rahul!" " Sing what..." " Your Dad's favourite!" "The one he sang at his wedding!" "Remember?" "Me?" "!" "No way..." ""The way you look tonight!"" "In the voice of Lata Mangeshkar..." "Rahul!" "Let's go!" "1, 2, 3... 1, 2, 3..." " WOW, Dad!" " Well done, Rahul" " Kapoor!" " Wonderfully done!" "Goodnight, my little princess!" "You smell like Geishu!" "Goodnight." "Goodnight." "I haven't seen you this happy in a long time..." "It suits you." "Goodnight!" "Dadu..." "Aunty got this for Morn!" "Shut up and tell me how long I have to keep this on!" "15 minutes... 15 minutes?" "Okay, switch off the lights." "Why?" "!" "Because I said so!" "Open the drawer... the first one!" "See my underwear there?" "What are you making me do?" "!" "There's a box underneath." "Open it..." "Take the joint out." "Dadu..." "You'll have me killed!" "Remember this?" "Gulmarg..." " Sonmarg." " Yeah, Sonmarg..." "And that ski instructor who kept trying to grab your hand." " Remember this?" "When you threw all my clothes out?" "So'?" "You promised me a day out and worked all clay instead." "Didn't I make it up to you with my towel dance?" "Yes, I saw the pictures..." "You look nice." "A tad bit overweight... but cute." "But do you have to sit next to Chris?" "No, I'm not the jealous type." "Listen..." "I'll talk to you later, yeah?" "I love you too." "2 drags and you're already breaking glasses?" "You're going to get me killed..." "Just relax, son..." " Hold this, hold this!" " Why me?" "!" " It's Rahul!" "Come on in." " Hey..." "What's going on?" "I've applied a mud cap..." "The doctor recommended it..." "Yeah, the doctors..." "If you're done praying, take the incense out..." "Ummm..." "Let's see the... incense." "Oh, damn it!" "Show me!" "Busted!" "Outlaws..." "Wicked!" "We used to be so happy..." "Sunita, I was thinking..." "If you want to... start your catering business... you should." "I'll try and help in whatever way I can..." "Is this the alcohol talking?" "What would Grandma think if she were here today..." "You have no idea..." "She would be taking a hit or two of the joint herself!" " Dadu!" " What nonsense, Dadu!" "I'm telling you guys!" "We used be quite the 'wild couple' in our times!" "Then I've definitely fallen on you guys!" "This poor fellow turned out like Morn and Dad..." "What rubbish!" "I'm Wild." " You?" "!" " Yeah!" " I'm wild!" " You're wild?" " I'm wild, dude!" " Wild people can drive!" " Shut up, I'm wild!" " Ya, right..." "Okay, fine." "Tell us one of your wild tales." "In Hawaii last year..." "I got drunk and got a tattoo." "What?" "!" "Tattoo?" "!" "Is that a tattoo of pigeons?" "!" "He got a tattoo!" "Sunita, I just got tangled up in so many things..." "Before I knew it, time had slipped away..." "I'm sorry." "I may be drunk, but it's the truth..." "Can't we be happy again?" "We can try..." "You're lost in thought?" "I was just thinking..." "For 10 million dollars..." "I could eat some poop." "You'll eat it for 5!" "Yeah... but with cheese." "Yuck!" "Dude, where did Dadu score that shit from?" "Who knows..." "You're not as perfect as you act..." "How did you become the favourite son?" "That's not true." "Morn and Dad love us equally." "You asshole... you can't even say that with a straight face!" "I am serious." "I would take your place in a heartbeat." "Shut up..." "Arjun, can I tell you something?" "Something no one knows..." "Arjun!" "I thought you could wear this..." " Is it okay?" " Thank you." "Coffee..." "I'll just go give the car to the mechanic." "Now?" "!" "Yeah, just get it out of the way..." "Everyone's waiting outside!" "I'll be back quickly." "Where's Shashi?" " Pleasure meeting you." " You too, sir." " Okay, we'll talk later." " Yeah." "Sorry, I'm just..." "Bye." "What's up, man?" "You'll carry on..." "I'll come in a bit." "Very bad..." "I can't let you do this." "No, Arjun..." " The car needs to go back." " I'll come on my own!" "That's where my family portrait will be." "Timmy, you haven't sent the recipes!" "Okay wait, I'll check." "Wow, Sunita, you look lovely!" "Just speaking to Timmy for you!" "I'll check on Rahul's laptop..." "Uff, Dad..." "Too handsome!" "No, no..." "Aunty wished me already." "Thank you for calling... and wishing..." "Bye." "Is today your birthday?" "Seriously?" "T!" "Happy birthday!" "Thank you..." "I'd have brought a cutout of Boobly if I knew!" "Why aren't you more excited about your birthday?" "!" " It's loading, hang on!" " Sunita!" "Sorry, one sec..." "I'll call back." "Which one?" "This one!" "' Okay!" "You should think of investing in my Artist Retreat!" "Raj, stop the car..." "Stop the car." "What's wrong?" "No, I just remembered I have to see a friend..." "Should I wait?" "No, you guys carry on." " Do you know the way?" " Yes, sir!" "Hello?" "Dad?" " I'll be home in a bit..." "Just finishing work at the garage..." "will be home in half an hour." "Time to go, right?" "Seems like your mind is made up... and that's fine." "Nothing's fine... but I'm trying to change that." "It was my 13th birthday..." "Morn and Dad were returning from Canada after my Uncle's surgery..." "I was really pissed off..." "They were missing my birthday..." "They called me before boarding the flight..." "I was angry..." "So told them not to bother coming back..." "I don't need a Morn and Dad!" "I'm fine alone!" "Don't come back." "The plane crashed." "My Uncle waited 2 days to tell me..." "Til they found the bodies" "It was the last time..." "I ever spoke to them and I was horrible..." "That phone call haunts me on every birthday!" "I could have said so many things..." "Like I love you!" "I love you..." "Just come back..." "I miss you!" "I've missed you!" "Just please come back..." "It's all I wanted to say." "Hello... ls Dad there?" "Rahul..." "Stop!" "Rahul!" "Sorry." "Excuse me for a second..." "You have to tell him." " Arjun..." "I have to tell you something." "Please don't judge me..." "I was drunk." " Catch that thief!" "Catch her!" "Rahul!" "Look what I taught the kids!" " Tell everyone to hurry up!" " It's going to rain..." "Bite your black tongue you jackass!" "Rahul!" "Do you have a belt for Sharic?" "I'll check..." "Hi!" "You were calling earlier..." "No!" "Why would you say that?" "Nothing, just having a bit of a rough day..." "Thanks..." "What's wrong, Ma?" "You're hiding something from me." "Listen, I'll just call you back." "What are you hiding?" "Do you know where Dad is?" "Don't change the topic!" "Answer me!" "Whose photographs are on your laptop?" "What?" "I don't know what you're talking about." "They're definitely not your girlfriend's." "Why were you looking at my laptop?" "Move, Geishu." "Do you even have a girlfriend?" " Move, Geishu!" "I want a name." " Tell me the name!" " None of your business!" "Rahul, don't lie to me." "Those photographs..." "This is a misunderstanding, right?" " I don't have time for this." " Rahul!" "Ma, don't!" "This is your girlfriend?" "!" "This!" "Disgusting!" "Do you feel no shame?" "!" "When did these lies start?" "Did you think about us even once?" "!" "About Dadu, about Dad..." "Think about Dad?" "!" "Dad told you he's at the garage, right?" "No one's a saint in this house..." "Everybody lies!" "So instead of finding faults with me... save your own bloody marriage!" "Shut up!" "Rahul, the belt..." " All okay?" " Yeah, it's fine..." "I'll just get it." "You go, I'll bring it..." " Okay..." "Ready... and smile!" " Got it!" " Now... take a picture of me as I pretend to be dead." "Like this." "Wait!" " Ready." " I'll click?" "Got it." "You look very cute, Dadu." "If my Grandma was alive, I'd totally set you two up." " Really?" " What about your mum?" " Harsh!" " Yes?" " Tell everyone to hurry up!" " Okay..." " It'll get too overcast to take the picture!" "You said you were at the garage." "Rahul, I..." "You're a disgusting person, Dad." "I was the one who took a stand for you." "I'm sorry..." "You're sorry?" "!" "It's not what you think, Rahul..." "Let me explain..." "Forget it..." " It's going to rain." " What's taking so long?" "!" " Go and call everyone!" " Come on, come on!" "Where's Arjun?" "Call him!" "Where were you?" "There you'll are!" " Everyone's calling you'll!" " Corning..." " Aunty!" "Come!" " Arjun's not answering his bloody phone." " It's started drizzling!" " Aunty, sit here!" "Okay..." " Quickly now!" "Fast!" " Sit there, baby." " Sit there or she won't be seen." " No no no!" "Not you!" "Sit now." "Come on..." "Rahul, closer to your Mum." " Show some love, guys!" " Okay, everyone ready?" "Wait, where's Arjun?" " Where's Arjun?" " Arjun?" "There you are!" "Did you forget about the picture?" " Come on, Arjun!" " We were worried you had gone back to America." "There!" "Next to Rahul!" " Next to Rahul!" " Come on!" " Hurry up now, it'll rain..." " Where were you, Arjun?" "What are you planning with all that space?" " Come closer!" "Okay!" "Why is only Dadu smiling?" "Happy family photo!" "Uncle!" "Put your arm around aunty!" " Like she's your wife!" " They're acting like neighbours..." "The neighbor's wife is way hotter." "Okay, focus!" "What's wrong?" " Change the battery, you idiot!" " Oh, man..." " He's your friend, right?" " I want to go to the loo!" " No no!" " 2 minutes!" "He should check the battery beforehand..." " What are we waiting for?" "Were you at Anu's?" "We'll talk about this later..." " Camera ready!" " Where's Zoey?" "What's wrong with you?" " Zoey, come back!" " Nothing." "Then why do you look so irritable?" "Because you're the scum of this earth." " Okay, camera ready!" " Okay, ready!" "Smile!" "Uncle, put your arm around Aunty!" " Come, come..." " Smile everyone!" " And..." "Ready!" "I've had enough." " Sunita..." " Where's Aunty going?" " Sunita, I was joking!" "I don't want any part in this 'happy family' sham." "Everyone's waiting!" "I'll tell you everything!" "Please!" " Tell me one thing..." "Were you or were you not at Anu's?" "I was." "Sunita..." "Sunita..." "listen." "I went to end it." "I'll never go back again." "When did all this start?" "One year..." " One year?" "!" " How does it matter now?" "Liars..." "Both of you!" "Liars!" "Happy now?" "Satisfied?" "Isn't this what you wanted?" "Why is he packing?" "!" "Stop packing!" "Harsh!" "Harsh!" " They're all going..." " We can do it later!" " Let's do this tomorrow..." " Okay, tomorrow." " Dadu!" "Arjun... take the kids to a hotel." "What are you hiding this time?" " What are you talking about?" " Really?" "I have no idea what you're talking about!" "So you didn't kiss Tia?" "Why didn't you tell me?" "Look, Arjun..." "Frankly speaking, I have no time for your love life." "If you think this is the best time to talk about this..." " You can go sulk in some corner!" " Screw this photo!" " What happened?" " What's going on?" " Neetu, take the kids and go." " Nothing's wrong, Dadu." " Dad, you'll get wet!" "Go." "Please go to Anu's house." "That's what's best." "I'm apologizing to you." "I made a mistake." "I'm only human!" "Sunita..." "Dad!" "Dad!" "What's happening, Rahul?" "ls everything okay?" "Everything's fine, Uncle." "Please just handle everyone." " Are you sure" " Yes, I'm sure!" "Please!" "I'll handle it." " Ma..." " Neetu!" " Shashi!" " I'm coming, Dad!" "I'll talk to him!" "Dad..." "Everything's okay." "What nonsense!" "They're all fighting outside!" "I'm here to take care of it!" "Ma..." "I'm sorry for what I said before." "I didn't mean to hurt anyone." "Go away, Rahul..." "You lied to me..." "I don't want to hear any more..." "Ma..." "Is it the lies that hurt you..." "or the truth?" "You and I have no connection now." "You're no one to me." "Ma..." "Please..." "Just listen to me." "Please... 2 minutes..." "I know I lied." "I kept a lot of secrets..." "I hurt you and I can apologize for it all..." "But how do I apologize for who I really am?" "Rahul... my perfect son..." "Morn, I'm tired of being perfect." "Please..." "I don't want any of this..." "I'm tired of running..." "from myself... from you." "I'm tired of being afraid of what people will say." "I am what I am, Ma... and I just want you to love me for who I am." "Where did I go so wrong..." " that everyone..." "you, Arjun, your father... . everyone's pushed me away." " God will never forgive me..." " Please, Ma..." "Go away, Rahul!" "You've really hurt me!" "Whatever I am today, is because of you." "My book, my career... it's all you." "I've done something terrible, Rahul..." "Rahul..." " Your book..." " Rahul!" "The story that" " Bloody thief!" "Stealing once wasn't enough for you?" "!" " Shashi!" " Shashi!" " Shashi come quick!" "I was trying to help you..." " Liar!" "Why do you think your agent's been trying to get in touch?" "!" "Ma, he was stealing again!" "You know it!" "No!" "No!" "It's not his fault!" "I was the one who gave him your story!" "Rahul had been trying to write for ages..." " He was stuck..." " What about me, Ma?" "!" "Arjun..." "I thought you weren't serious about anything..." "You quit college in 6 months..." "Then adventure sports, photography..." "You had abandoned that book too?" "Hadn't you?" "So you gave my story to Rahul!" "I just thought..." "Thought what, Ma?" "!" "Like you ever think about me!" "Do you know why I'm always taking up new things?" "!" "I wanted to prove myself!" "I wanted to do something to make you feel proud!" "And today, you've snatched that from me!" "I'm sorry..." "I should never have given him your story..." "Morn, this isn't about the goddamn story!" "It's about you and me!" "It's about what you made me feel all these years that I'm just not good enough." "No, my darling..." "Rahul was always better than me!" " I'm sorry..." " Sorry?" "!" "Sorry won't fix this, Ma..." "Sorry won't fix anything." "Arjun, no!" "Arjun!" "Listen, please!" "Arjun sir..." "Your bags are packed." "The taxi will be here at 5 am." "I'm not hungry..." "You'll eat..." "Arjun, please..." "Stay back a few days..." "Morn needs us." "She doesn't need us... she needs you." "She's not even speaking to me." "Who knows if she ever will." "Please, Rahul..." "There's nothing you can do to make Morn that angry." "If only." "Arjun..." "There's something I've been lying about my entire life." "I don't have a girlfriend in London." "As for Tia... or Geet..." "or any girl for that matter..." "I've never been interested and never will be." "My whole life has been a lie... and..." "No one in this house will ever accept the truth." "I..." "I don't know what to say." "It's alright." "You don't have to say anything." "All I'm asking is that you stay back for a while." "That's something I can't do!" "I..." "I need some time." " So has he read the new draft?" "He's been expecting you!" "Thank you." " Hey, Arjun..." "Edward." " Hi." "Have a seat." "So." "Loved the new draft." "Congratulations." "We're going ahead with it." "Thank you." "The new ending's great!" "What made you decide to change it?" "Just a good suggestion from someone." "Hello, kids..." "How are you?" " I'm fine." "It's just that..." "I got tired of watching Mandakini's videos." "So I thought I'd talk to you guys..." "I really miss you both." "After Harsh..." " It's difficult to find the will to live." "Otherwise I was all set for my century..." "Now it's too hard..." "I feel very alone..." "Sometimes I look at your father's pictures and..." "You'll should call your mother sometimes..." "She acts like she's very strong..." "But I hear her crying every night." " Every night." "I'm asking you'll for the one thing I don't have..." "Just a little..." "Time." "Everyone makes mistakes, kids..." " But we don't abandon our families." "Consider this an old man's request..." "Once... just once..." "Come back." "After that... who knows if you'll need to." "Bye..bye..." " Hi Shashi Uncle..." "Hi Zoey!" " Flight was okay?" " Hi..." " How are you?" " Good, good..." "Come with me!" " See my new book!" " Hi, Ma." "Thank you..." "Thank you for coming..." " Hi, Dadu..." " I'm so happy to see you'll..." " You rest, Dadu..." " We'll see you in the morning." "Do me a favour..." "Another small request..." "Bring the whole family to me tomorrow..." "God bless you both..." "Rahul?" "Come in, Ma..." "Just dropping these off..." "Dharmendra forgot to keep them..." "I'll get you a glass..." " Ma?" " Yes?" "Sit with me..." "How are you?" "I'm fine..." "Busy..." "I'm fine." "Are you okay?" "Yes..." "I'm fine." "And..." "How's..." "Your... friend?" "It's okay." "I missed you." "I'm sorry." "I didn't think you'd come." "I didn't think you'd call." "You know, Tia..." "When you told me about your family..." "I could understand your pain..." "But now..." "I can feel it." "I know how you feel, Arjun." "I'm tired of running away..." "that's all I've ever done." "Then come back..." "Everyone's here..." "They always were." "I missed you."