"All right." "Don't crowd." "Let 'em off." "Let 'em off." "Don't crowd." "Do you think they'll be wearing 'em like this next year?" "Aw, that was such a cute little hat." "And I know it made me look 10 years younger." "Yeah." "Call for Mr. Schlepermeyer." "Call for Mr. Schlepermeyer." "Call for Mr. Schlepermeyer." "Well, another day just like the rest of them." "Why, Regi, this is a lucky day." "Did you find a horseshoe in the subway?" "Oh, how are you going to get a horse in the subway?" "Oh!" "Now listen, really." "It's a lucky day because my numerology book says so." "All the auguries are good, and it's the fifth day and the fifth month." "And five and five are eight- I" " I mean 10." "Sure, and it's three minutes till 9:00." "I can play too." "Oh, now listen." "It's really like this." "You put it all together and it spells" "Yeah, put it all together and it's still three minutes of 9:00." "Oh, will you just let me explain to you?" "Hey!" "It's wonderful the way you two get under the wire." "Well, one of you hurry up." "1502's been phoning for a manicure since 8:30." "1502!" "Up where the rich live." "Who is it?" "A Mr. Macklyn." "Married?" "That makes two things I forgot to ask him- what he had for breakfast and whether he's married or not." "No, when they're married, they usually come down to the shop to get away." "I guess he's single, all right." "You mean you hope he's single, all right." "What's the matter?" "Can't you find your thumb?" "Oh, go on up. 1502 is really an awful lucky number for you." "Five and one is six, and six and two are eight." "Yeah, maybe here's that $10 million you've been dreamin' about." "The way I feel today, I'd settle for a million." "Yeah, well, hurry." "You sent for a manicurist?" "Mr. Macklyn did." "Come in." "This way, please." "Mr. Macklyn, the new manicurist is here." "What?" "Well, tell her I don't want a manicurist." "Well, how about a manicure then?" "Now that you mention it, it's the very thing I need." "I haven't had one since yesterday." "Do you have one every day?" "Some people play golf to pass the time, some go in for tap dancing, some destroy clay pigeons." "I have manicures." "On the behalf of the manicurists' union, I thank you." "It's I who should thank the union." "The manicure takes 40 minutes." "That leaves the day only 23 hours and 20 minutes long." "Oh, Peter, will you see what Miss, uh- Allen." "Regi Allen." "Exactly." "What Miss Regi Allen requires." "Would you fill this with warm water, please?" "Yes, miss." "Thank you." "Just a minute, Peter." "Would you care for a drink?" "Oh, no." "The day's just started." "What a fresh point of view." "To me, the night's just ended." "Very well, then, Peter." "Just one for me." "Yes, sir." "This is a very pretty room." "It's very becoming to you." "Thank you." "Oh, isn't he attractive!" "Is he your brother?" "No, that's a picture of me taken four years ago." "Oh, are you a flier?" "I was a flier." "Airplanes weren't as safe then as they are now." "Is there anything else, miss?" "No, thank you." "I'm afraid I seemed rather disagreeable when Peter announced you." "Oh, that's all right." "The manicurist I've been having just got married, and I'm still rather embarrassed about meeting people." "Why?" "I'm always afraid they'll feel sorry for me." "What?" "When you have all this?" "Hmm." "You just try getting up every morning at 7:00." "Then jammed in the subway." "Then poking at peoples' cuticle all day." "And then jammed back in the subway again at night." "I don't feel sorry for you, mister." "Thanks." "I think we'll get along." "I've talked enough now." "I'd better go." "You'll come back day after tomorrow?" "I just spent two bucks on a memory course." "Bye." "Good-bye." "Thank you, miss." "It's a long time since I heard Mr. Macklyn laugh." "He's got a few laughs coming to him." "I think so too." "Oh, I haven't any change for that." "You're not supposed to have." "That's a 10-dollar bill." "I think Mr. Macklyn can afford it." "Thanks." "Peter!" "Coming, sir." "Peter, this dressing gown's a disgrace." "I can't be entertaining a young lady in this outfit." "Yes, sir." "You look divine." "Allen Macklyn, that's the fifth new dressing gown you've worn in three weeks." "You're getting to be a regular fashion plate." "They call me Beau Macklyn." "The man at Charvet's assured Peter this is the very newest thing." "Do you really like it?" "Oh, it's lovely." "Honestly, I can't do a thing to those nails." "How about my 40 minutes?" "Well, what can I do?" "Well, you might try doing nothing." "Pretend to be one of the idle rich and see how you like it." "Peter!" "Yes, sir." "Coming, sir." "Tea on the terrace, please, for two very rich people." "It is ready, sir." "I wonder what the poor people are doing on a day like this." "Oh!" "Gee, you're lucky." "Won't you pour?" "Me?" "Well, who else?" "That'll be all, Peter." "Well, I'll try, but it may throw me." "Ohh!" "Try putting the other hand on the top." "Ooh, you mean like- There, that's it." "Oh, I get it." "Two hands for beginners." "Why did you say I was lucky?" "You don't have to pretend." "To be rich?" "Mm-hmm." "You think a lot about money, don't you, Regi?" "You've got it." "You don't have to think about it." "Sugar?" "Two, please, and lemon." "I thought girls your age always thought about love." "Oh, love." "I don't want anything to do with it." "That's what you say now, Regi, and maybe you may even mean it." "Oh, I mean it, all right." "I think you're off on the wrong tack, Regi." "I wish I could show you how valueless money is." "You can't." "I know what love can get you into." "I know what it got my mother into." "She was young and pretty once." "I saw her count pennies and wash and struggle... until she was old and ugly." "I heard her nagging my father until he hated to come home." "You couldn't blame him." "You couldn't blame anything but poverty." "I see." "Oh, I didn't mean to let my back hair down so far." "But that's what you get for encouraging me." "Oh, I'm terribly sorry!" "Oh, don't worry about that." "It's awful." "I'm so sorry." "The only thing that worries me is you, your ideas." "But you certainly seem to know what you want." "I know a lot of things." "You certainly do." "And I'll bet you forget all of them when the right man comes along." "No, I won't." "You can't blame me for wanting the things I do." "Every woman wants them." "Only I say I do." "Well, if you'll excuse me, after making a mess of things I'll go back to the grind." "You've had enough for one day." "Not nearly." "Gee, I'm sorry I spilt the tea." "Oh!" "Accidents can happen to anyone." "See?" "Thanks." "I'm afraid you do it better than I do." "Good-bye." "Good-bye." "Peter'll see you to the door." "Yes, he always does." "You know, I feel like a chiseler when I take your money." "Funny, isn't it?" "I guess it's because you're the only real friend I've got." "Thanks." "It's been a lot of fun." "Confessions and all?" "Confessions and all, Regi." "Bye." "Good-bye." "Oh, I'm sorry." "I didn't know the lights were against me." "That's all right." "Hopscotch." "Hopscotch?" "Mm-hmm." "Indoor hopscotch." "Not up to turf and field hopscotch, but hopscotch nevertheless." " Get the idea?" " Yes, I get the idea." " Do you wanna play?" " No, thanks." "Well, every man to his own sport." "You'll be sorry when I'm champion!" "Savoy-Cariton Barber Shop." "Manicure?" "Yes." "Right away." "Yes, sir." "What name, please?" "Oh, yes, sir!" "Regi, I'm gonna give you your Christmas present in May." "What?" "The answer to every working girl's prayer just called up for a manicure." "So get out your hope chest, dearie." " Who is he?" " Theodore Drew III, baby." "Three's a bad number- That doesn't mean anything." " It means he must have had a grandfather." " Is he rich?" "Not only rich, but young and handsome." "What do you talk about to a guy like that?" "What does he like?" " Blondes, probably." " Well, you can't talk about that." "Then tell him how you just love polo." "That's always safe." "Thanks." "Oh, sorry, this is reserved for an appointment." "Aw, but I have an- Sorry." "Excuse me." "Pardon me." "Are you taken?" "Uh, for what?" "A manicure." "Oh, no." "Are you interested in numerology?" "No." "If you don't mind." "Excuse me." "Thank you." "What's the matter?" "Don't you know who that is?" "Sure." "That's the future hopscotch champion, and I'm not interested in hopscotch." "You poor sap." "That's Theodore Drew III." "That hick?" "Hick?" "Hmm!" "Ohh!" "Oh, boy, oh, boy, do I pick 'em!" "I'll say you do, dearie." "Oh, thank you." "Well, what's the matter, dear?" "This is it." "That chance in a million." "He's rich." "He's so rich, he's crazy." "I'm gonna make a stab at him." "You back me up." "Well, who are you gonna stab in the back?" "Shh!" "Nobody." "Well" "Hello!" "My, but you've grown thin!" "M" " My appointment was canceled." "What's the matter?" "Uh, are you really Theodore Drew?" "So I've always been told." "Why?" "You don't look like my idea of any Theodore Drew III." "I know." "I've had a lot of complaints about it from my parents." "Mother says I'm a throwback to my great-grandfather." "He was a pirate." " Honest?" " No, a pirate." "Oh." "I was in the navy myself for a while." "You were?" "Mm-hmm." "Till Dad yanked me." "He said the thought of my being a sailor made him seasick." "Blood." "I've been stabbed." "Oh!" "Oh, I'm terribly sorry." "Stabbed in the cuticle." "What a way to die." "It-It's never happened before." "Please excuse it." "I'm" " I'm terribly sorry." "Perfectly all right." "Oh!" "Oh, I'm" " I'm- I'm terribly sorry." "This isn't your first manicure, by any chance, is it?" "No, it isn't." "Well, look, uh, if you think I ought to have ether, don't be afraid to say so." "Honestly, I've only cut someone once before." "Aha." "Then I'm your second manicure." "No, there have been quite a few before you." "How did you happen to become a manicurist... instead of taking up pearl diving?" "Oh, I'm not really interested in manicuring." "So I gathered." "What does fascinate you?" "Polo." "I'm simply mad about polo." "Really?" "What position do you play?" "Oh, I don't play." "I just follow it." "Where?" "Oh, all over." "As a matter of fact, I was reading an article on polo when you came in." "Oh, really?" "What a coincidence." "Isn't it thrilling when they come galloping down the diamond on those dear little ponies, with the mallets flying and the chukkers?" " Oh, I just love the chukkers." " I play chess myself." "But you play polo, don't you?" "No." "Sorry." "Oh, you don't?" "Lady, I don't even like horses." "You don't?" "Ohh!" "Oh!" "I'm- I'm terribly sorry." "That's perfectly all right." "I've still got these left." "That's all." "Thank you." "Are you doing anything tonight?" "Would you mind feeding me?" "I'm going to have to have a nurse." "I'll have to leave about 12:00." "I'm going out of town." "That's all right." "I'll see you about 7:00." "No dressing." "No 7:00, dressing- I mean 7:00, no dressing." "Oh, Mr. Drew!" "Yes?" "You don't know where I live." "The subject hadn't come up." "493 West 120th." "Miss Regi Allen." "See you at 7:00." "Seventy-five cents, plea" "Oh!" "No charge." "No charge?" "No charge?" "No, no charge." "No." "When the gong strikes, the time will be exactly 8:00." "Now, on with the dance." "Well, maybe he said 8: 00." "00's a much better number than 7: 00 anyway." "No, he said 7:00." "I heard him, all right." "Well, 7:00 and 8:00 sound kind of alike." "You'll spoil your dinner if you keep on eatin' them nuts." "I guess there isn't gonna be any dinner." "Oh, now, maybe he forgot the address, and he's walking up and down the block." "Pinky dear, you go stand in front of the house so he'll know." "Me?" "Mm-hmm." "He wouldn't know me." "He might." "You're always forgetting people." "No, he didn't forget the address." "He forgot the date." "Well, I guess it was too good to be true." "Regi, I think you're well out of it." "Those numbers didn't add up at all good, and that three is dangerous for you." "Oh, that's him!" "And it's a four!" "What'd I tell you?" "Well, tell him to wait." "I'll be right down." "Hello." "Regi'll be- I mean, Miss Allen will be right down." "All right." "Thank you." "Oh!" "Oh, what a grand speaking voice!" "Do I look all right?" "Oh, you look swell." "Oh, my bag and gloves!" "Pinky, would you mind" "Don't forget to be refined." "You know the kind of girls he's used to." "Oh, I'll be a lady, all right." "I've been practicing for this for years." "Au revoir." "See you in the society page- Oh, my!" " Oh!" "It's the hiccups." " It's the nuts." "Oh, people in society don't act that way." "Maybe you haven't got 'em." "Breathe in and out." "You stupe!" "How else can you breathe?" "Here." "Drink this." "I guess they're gone, all right." "Thanks." "You were sweet to stop in." "Good-bye." "Now, don't worry, dear." "We'll lock up." "Listen, don't forget to be refined." "Will you have a cocktail?" "Yes, I'd love an old-fashioned." "Two old-fashioneds, please." "Ah!" "Young lady, you stand on the threshold... of the greatest experience in life." "Until we entered this restaurant you had only been existing." "Now you're about to live." "I envy you." "What is it?" "Onion soup." "Onion soup?" "Oh, don't say it like that." "Say it with reverence." "Please give it the respect it's entitled to." "Onion soup." "No, no, no." "More tenderly." "Put a caress in it." "Onion... soup?" "Well, that's better." "Waiter, onion soup." "Bi-A big quantity." "Bring me a big vat." "And the young lady?" "Cup?" "Yes, ma'am." "So that's your gratitude." "No, I" "Why,you have the hiccups." "Yes." "I'm sorry." "Well,you're very lucky." "It so happens that you're sitting with one of the world's most eminent hiccup specialists." "Are you- Are you, honestly?" "Well, no." "No, I am lying." "I am not one of the greatest." "I am the greatest hiccup destroyer in the history of medical science." "Right this minute, young lady, you are cured." "Oh, I'm glad- I'm glad to hear it." "Now do just as I do." "Take your napkin." "Go on." "Put your napkin on." "Take your glass like this." "That's right." "Now drink out of the other side of it, just like I do." "Oh- Come on." "You gotta get up and do it." "Drink out of the other side." "And drink it all." "Drink it all." "Yeah." "Oh, my." "There you are." "Cured." "And you won't have hiccups again for a year." "I'll have to remember that." "Where did you learn it?" "Oh, during the war." "The war?" "Why, you couldn't have been in the war." "Oh, I don't mean the Civil War." "I mean the Spanish-American War." "Oh, I see." "Onion soup." "My life begins." "Skoal." "No hiccups for a year." "My, how time flies when you're having fun." "I read an article on hiccups- It said they can always be avoided, and that giving in to them shows a lack of willpower." "No kidding." "Nobody has to have hiccups." "I'm sorry." "It's the rules." "Patrons cannot enter in those clothes." "Oh, we can't wear these clothes?" "Yes, sir." "I'm sure you will understand." "Surely I understand." "Surely you understand." "Surely I understand." "Mais non, mais non, madame, monsieur." "C'est impossible." "Non." "Okay, Toots, you win." "Hook this for me, will you?" "Voulez-vous servir ici,Jean." "Will you have something?" "One more?" "No, thank you." "Mind if I have one?" "Well, a little bit." "You've had an awful lot already." "See what my home life is?" "Nag, nag, nag!" "But your wife is so pretty." "Pretty?" "Hmm, well, I suppose so, in a- in an Oriental sort of way." "You know, you'd be very beautiful with blonde hair." "I have blonde hair." "I know it." "I really had a lovely time." "Thank you, lady." "I've never had a better time in my life." "From the bottom of my heart, I thank you." "If" " If when you get back, you'd care to call me up, I could give you my number." "I mean, I" " I could write it down for you in case you've forgotten it." "Yes, do that." "I would love to call you." "I get back on the 11 th." "I can see you the 12th." "Oh, no, no." "I'm- I'm getting married the 12th." "I could see you the next day though." "No, I suppose she'd want a honeymoon." "They all want honeymoons." "Slaves of fashion, that's what we are." "The whole business is a vicious" "A vicious" "A vicious" "Here we are." "Thank you for a very lovely evening, Mr. Drew." "There's no need of your getting up." "Is he bye-bye?" "Well, yes." "Do you want me to help you take him upstairs?" "He doesn't live here." "He has to go out of town and only has 15 minutes." "That's time enough, lady." "No passenger of mine's missed a train in 10 years." "What train does he go on?" "Why, I don't know." "Mr. Drew?" "Ted?" "Mr. Drew!" "He's moved." "That's a good sign." "Keep talking to him." "Mr. Drew!" "Mr. Drew!" "He's got to get on that train." "Have you any idea where he's going?" "It might strike a chord." "Do you want to go to Newport?" "Newport." "This ain't no season for Newport, lady." "Try somewheres else." "Palm Beach?" "Long Island?" "Greenwich?" "Rye?" "Yes, please, with ginger ale." "Oh, Ted, where do you want to go?" "Wake up!" "All aboard!" "Wake up!" "Wake up!" "I am up!" "And so's the whole neighborhood!" "If you don't get that drunk out of there, I'll call for the police!" "Oh, don't drop him." "Wake up." "Yoo-hoo!" "Come on now." "Ow!" "Oh, let me sleep, will ya?" "But I got to go to work." "Look, I can't take you home." "Why don't you take a cab like a good fella?" "This is my house, I thought." "Peter!" "Coming, sir." "Yes, sir?" "She's late, isn't she?" "Miss Regi?" "Oh, no, sir." "It's not 11:30 yet." "You think they're dirty enough?" "That's better, sir." "You don't think she won't come?" "Oh, she'll come, sir." "She said she would." "She's a nice girl, isn't she, Peter?" "She is indeed, sir." "Good morning, Miss Regi." "Good morning." "You're all right, aren't you?" "Does it show as much as that?" "How's he today?" "Like he always is on the days you're coming." "Fine." "Hello." "Good morning, Regi." "What's the news?" "Oh, nothing much." "Oh,yes." "Up till now, they've never been able to tell a male from a female oyster." "Now they know." "Somebody better tell the oysters right away there's trouble ahead." "There you are, Peter." "Thank you." "Have you been making mud pies?" "You'd better call downstairs for an extra 40 minutes." "Are they dirty?" "Oh, no." "What'd you do last night?" "Last night?" "Oh, nothing." "Did you have a date?" "Well, yes, sort of." "Well, did you or didn't you?" "Yes." " Who was he?" " Theodore Drew." "Who?" "Theodore Drew III." "Well, you don't seem very happy about it." "Wasn't it fun?" "That's the trouble." "It was so much fun." "What'd you do?" "Oh, we went out to dinner, and we went to different places and danced and" "Yes." "He's a crazy sort of person." "Do you like him, Regi?" "Well, I could, but" "But he's going to be married." "How did you know?" " If it's been printed, Regi, I've read it." " Who is she?" "She's the daughter of Amos Snowden." "You know, the one they call "The Pineapple King."" "What's her name?" "Vivien." "Vivien Snowden." "I see." "I hate pineapples." "Many people must like them." "She's enormously wealthy." "Funny, isn't it?" "He's rich and she's richer, so they're gonna get married." "Why didn't you try to convince him he ought to marry a poor girl?" "I tried to." "I certainly tried, until I found out he was engaged, and then I even tried a little after that." "Why, Regi?" "Because he was Theodore Drew III, or because you liked him pretty well?" "Because I- No, I haven't changed." "I still say money's the most important thing." "But there I go, telling you the story of my life again." "I'll bet you can't wait for the next installment." "Oh, come in, come in." "This is Liberty Hall." "Make yourself at home." "Thanks." "Have a chair." "Have two chairs." "It took me all afternoon to learn that I had to dampen the trousers." "You're not doing that iron any good." "The iron isn't doing my pants any good either." "I didn't think you'd still be here." "Oh, I couldn't leave." "I didn't have the fare." "What do you mean?" "No fare." "Fare no." "No fare." "Why didn't you wire home for the money?" "Home?" "I hope that's not a hat in that bag." "I'm hungry." "Say it's food." "What's that?" "That's a man coming to take me out." "Do you know him well?" "No." "You don't want to see him, do you?" "Well, I-What?" "Come on." "Now stay in there." "Go on." "Stay in there and shut the door." "Well" "Come on in." "Come on in." "Sit down." "Make yourself at home." "Well, Mac, what's on your mind?" "Eh?" "What's on your mind?" "What are you selling?" "I'm not selling anything." "I'm waiting for Regi." "Regi?" "Yeah, Miss Regi Allen." "Doesn't she live here?" "Miss?" "Yeah." "Miss Regi Allen?" "Yeah." "Oh, palming herself off as single, is she?" "Didn't think I'd be back so soon, eh?" "Here, hold this a minute." "Oh, trying to hide, huh?" "Get out of there!" "Didn't think I'd be back, huh?" "I'll show ya!" "Take that!" "How do you like that, huh?" "Come on, yell a little." "I'll show ya!" ""Miss," huh?" "Think you can get away with that stuff with me, huh?" "I'm gonna tell my mother on you!" "Go on." "I'll tell my father on you!" "Nobody gets away with that." "I'll show her." "Why, what's the matter?" "It isn't your fault." "It could've happened to any guy." "Sure, certainly." "Any other husband would blow your brains out." "But I got self-control, see?" "Thank you." "Where'd she put that?" "Where did she put that?" "Regi, what'd you do with that gun?" "Uh, excuse me." "I gotta go." "I got an appointment." "Good-bye." "It would be pretty if he called a policeman." "He won't." "He's too scared." "If I'd known he brought mints, I'd have taken a crack at him." "What did you mean a while ago, you didn't have railroad fare?" "Railroad fare?" "I haven't even got bus fare." "I spent it all last night." "Will you have a mint?" "No, thanks." "You are Ted Drew, aren't you?" "Yeah, I'm Ted Drew." "Why?" "If you're Ted Drew, why are you pressing your pants?" "I slept in them and they're wrinkled." "And I missed my boat." "Your boat?" "Mm-hmm." "All my clothes are on their way to Bermuda for a nice vacation." "They have other boats." "Why don't you get some more money and take one?" "Why do you persist in saying I can get money?" "I have no money." "Ohh!" "Do you want some help?" "No." "What do you mean, you haven't money?" "It's amazing how people differ." "No matter how hard I try to convince my tailor I have money, he says I haven't." "And no matter how hard I try to convince you I haven't, you say I have." "If only you were my tailor, how simple life would be." "Can you sew?" "No." "What about your father?" "He can't sew either." "Father's living abroad." "He has an amazing ability... for borrowing money from practically total strangers." "Unfortunately, that ability isn't hereditary." "How could the Drews be broke?" "Do you remember that thing called the "crash"?" "Yes." "Well, that was us." "Then how did you get your ticket to Bermuda?" "Engagement present from my fiancée's father." "He didn't want me around the house while they were getting it ready for the wedding." "It wouldn't look right." "Were you living at the house?" "Sure." "Well, pardon me if I seem to ask a personal question, but have you ever thought of going to work?" "Work?" "Certainly not." "What am I trained to work at?" "I can't even press a pair of pants." "Nope, the only job for me is to marry somebody with money." "Why, you" "Did I say something?" "No, I just found something out." "What?" "We're exactly alike." "Oh, no, your hair is much prettier." "We're both trying to marry for money." "Is that what you want to do?" "Mm-hmm." "Oh, you're too nice for that." "Well, I don't want to spend the rest of my life working in a barbershop." "Yeah, but to deliberately marry somebody for money, that's no good." "Well, what are you doing?" "Well, it's different for me." "I'm a heel." "Well, did I ever say I wasn't one?" "Oh." "Oh, both members of the same club, huh?" "Well, how do you do?" "And now, what are your plans?" "Well, the first thing I'm gonna do is stop eating these chocolate-covered mothballs." "And the second, I'm gonna make you a proposition." "What?" "How would you like to take in a boarder?" "I mean,just till my boat gets back from Bermuda." " Oh, I couldn't do that." " Why not?" "You got me into this trouble." "It's only fair that you help me get out." "Turn around." "Well, I'm not that unconventional." "Oh, don't be old-fashioned." "What are conventions anyway?" "Just a bunch of salesmen sitting around telling stories." "It wouldn't look right." "I'm practically married." "I'll be no trouble." "I'll mind the baby." "I'll put out the cat." "No, on second thought, you'd better put out the cat." "You can turn around now." "Be a good sport and help a fellow out." "I really can't go back to old man Snowden's." "He don't like people who miss boats." "Well, I" "What's that?" "Some more mints?" "Why don't you have somebody call on you with a chicken sandwich?" "I don't know who it is." "Oh, hello." "Hello." "Hello." "We just, uh" " Oh." "Oh, Ted, this is Nona and Pinky Kelly." "Theodore Drew." "How do you do?" "Hello." "Hello." "We thought you might want to go to a picture show." "There's a swell one at the Band Box Theater." "A horse picture." "Yeah?" "Well, isn't that funny?" "I was just saying to Regi, how about getting Nona and Pinky and running down to see a movie." "Wasn't I, dear?" "Come on, dear, put on your hat." "Oh, that's ridiculous." "You couldn't be saying that." "You don't know us." "Or do you?" "Oh, don't mind him." "Say, Pinky, old boy, how about stopping for a bite to eat?" "Certainly." "Well, all right." "But just this once." "Next time it's my treat." "Come on, dear." "Well, well" "Well" "Come on, come on!" "How do you know he's there?" "Because he's supposed to be in Bermuda." "I'll answer it, Whitey." "Never mind." "Hello, please?" "Hello?" "Isn't this University 42259?" "Uh, yes, but Miss Regi are not being at home, please." "Coming again, please?" "Oh, this is Miss Regi's Japanese boy." "Well, isn't that just dandy?" "And when did Miss Allen get a Japanese boy?" "Uh, she winning him last evening in a very fine crap game." "He said I won him yesterday in a crap game." "Well, Togo, how are you getting along with your lunch?" "Oh, lunch advancing very rapidly, please." "Say, how long did you say to boil those lamb chops?" "They've been in a half hour and haven't stiffened up yet." "I didn't say "boil." I said "broil"!" "Oh, is that what you said?" "I thought th-that it was something I did." "No, I'm not having eggplant." "I couldn't get it open." "You'll have to come home and show me where the zipper is." "Okay, I-I'll see you later." "You come here, please." "Give me my umbrella so I no get wet." "Now, now." "Now, now." "Here I am." "Come." "Come." "Hey, Regi!" "Come on." "Run!" "Oh" "You can't say I don't think of you every minute." "I've been sitting here for two hours reserving this cab." "Have you?" "I'll say you have." "Aren't you going to say it was nice of me?" "It was lovely of you." "But taking taxis when you haven't any money is a little foolish." "Foolish?" "I couldn't come out in this pouring rain and get my only suit all wet." "Where's your overcoat?" "Oh, spending a little time in the pawnshop." "Well, why did ya pawn your overcoat?" "Well, to pay for the taxi, of course." "Dope." "What's all this?" "Food." "Well, why did you get so much for?" "You know, there's only two of us." "We could've cooked some eggs at home." "That's all well enough for you down in your cool barbershop, but I've been slaving over a hot stove all day." "I'd like a meal I don't have to cook for a change." "Those lamb chops weren't so hot." "Want some?" "Shall I answer that?" "No, thanks." "I'll go." "Miss Allen?" "Yes." "Flowers for you." "Oh, thanks." "Thank you." "Thank you." "Oh!" "Ah, spring has come to 120th Street." " Oh, they're from Allen." " Who's he?" "He's my best friend." "Oh." "Oh, they're lovely." "What are they, geraniums?" "They're daffodils." "He says they make him think of me." "I always thought your big idea was the man you'd remind of orchids." "At least I don't remind people of pineapples." "Ouch." "You had that coming to you." "Your best friend, uh, is he rich?" "Sure." "Well, that's fine." "Fits right in with your plans, doesn't it?" "I haven't any plans." "But your plans about marrying for money haven't changed, have they?" "Certainly not." "Have yours?" "No." "Once a heel, always a heel." "That's our slogan." "You know, they are kind of like you at that- tall and blonde." "Holy smoke!" "I'm in Bermuda." "Good." "I'm in Greenland." "No, don't be superficial." "This is serious." "I'm supposed to be in Bermuda, and Vivien might telephone." "What'll I do?" "Telephone her first." "From New York?" "Don't tell her it's from New York." "Tell her it's from Bermuda." "I shall make you general of all my armies for that suggestion." "Only you're gonna tell her I'm gonna call from Bermuda." "Oh, no, I'm not!" "No, come on." "You're gonna be the operator." "Come on.Just this once." "Oh!" "Well, what's her number?" "Snowden 82793." "Yes?" "Yes, this is the Snowden residence." "Oh, very well." "Bermuda calling Miss Vivien." "Just a moment, please." "Hello?" "Hello?" "Hello, Miss Snowden?" "Bermuda calling." "Are you ready?" "This is Miss Snowden." "Yes, I'm ready." "Well, go ahead with Bermuda." "Hello, Vivien?" "Can you hear me?" "C" " Can you hear me, Vivien?" "Hello, Ted." "Yes, I can hear you perfectly." "How are you?" "And when are you coming back?" "Oh, I'm fine, Vivien." "Eh, I'll be back" "Hello?" "Hello, Snowden 82793?" "Miss Vivien Snowden, Bermuda calling." "Hello?" "Hello?" "Hello, go ahead." "Go ahead with Bermuda" "Operator, I've got Bermuda." "Will you please get off the line?" "Hello, hello, Ted?" "Can you hear me?" "Y" " Yes, Vivien, I can hear you." "Hello?" "Bermuda." "Oh, operator, I've got Bermuda." "Please get off the wire." "Hello?" "Hello, Ted?" "Can you hear me, Vivien?" " What'd you say, Ted?" " Hello?" "Uh, what?" "I can't hear you, Vivien." "Can you" "Hello, Miss Snowden." "Do you want the charges reversed?" "Oh, operator, go away!" "Hello, Miss Snowden?" "Bermuda calling" "Oh!" "I can't stand this." "Hello, Ted?" "Ted?" "Hello?" "Hello?" "Boy, is she mad!" "I love my daffodil too!" "Hello." "Get me the Bermuda operator, please." "Oh, my jaws hurt." "Yes?" "No call from Bermuda?" "Why, that's" "From New York?" "Are you sure?" "Well, thank you." "Oh, wise guy, huh?" "What was that?" "What's the matter?" "Oh, everything's all right." "Hey, Regi,you got some iodine?" "Why?" "What's the matter?" "There's been an accident." "Is there a doctor in the house?" "Oh!" "Just a minute." "Are you hurt?" "Hurt, sire?" "I'm dead." "What in the world happened?" "I fell off the couch." "Aw, you did?" "Oh-ho-ho!" "Whoa!" "It doesn't hurt." "It burns." "I'd fall off every night, but you'd never hear me." "Do you dream?" "No." "You should." "You'd meet a better class of people." "I can't sleep on a narrow bed." "Aw, you can't?" "When I was home, I used to sleep on a big, double bed." "Well, what would you suggest?" "Well, I could suggest something, but- Well, you won't get mad now, will ya?" " Well, what is it?" " Well" "Will ya tuck me in?" "Well, if I wanna get my sleep, I guess I'd better." "Lie down." "Come on." "Lie down." "What's the chair for?" "To keep you from falling out." "You're almost as good at this as my mother was." "Was there anything else your mother did?" "Mm-hmm." "Before she turned out the lights, she always used to kiss me good night." "I'm only almost as good as your mother was." "It's almost five years since we were on the yacht, sir." "The captain is delighted you're taking her out again." "You and the captain shouldn't jump to conclusions, Peter." "I'm not even sure we are taking it out again." "Wheel me out on the terrace." "I'd like to think it over." "And, of course, there's always Venice." "I'm sure she'd like Venice." "She's a lovely girl, Peter." "She is, sir." "She'd make a lovely wife." "She would, sir." "It's only fair to tell you, Peter, my mind's made up." "Tomorrow I'm going to ask her." "In the morning, telephone the jeweler and have him bring all his engagement rings." "Yes, and his wedding rings too." "She might be willing to choose one." "Of course, sir." "It's a fine night, sir." "The morning after" "Will you still recall the thrill we feel" "You must have a lot of friends that could give you a job." "That'd be a fine friend who'd give you a job." "No friend of mine had better try anything like that on me." "Hmph." "What's the matter?" "You and your ideas." "You wouldn't give an inch, would you?" "Nope." "Would you?" "Would you?" "No." "I wouldn't give an inch." "Okay, then, let's talk about something else." "All right." "What?" "Oh, the stars up there, for instance." "Boy, those really are stars, aren't they?" "Mm, yes, they are." "I've never seen 'em so close before." "Maybe they never have been." "Have they, Regi?" "Not to me." "Oh!" "Oh, now, who's that?" "Oh, I forgot." "I have a surprise for you." "Oh, stay here, Regi." "That's the nicest present I could have." "Uh, good evenin', Miss Regi." "Hello." "I" " I sure had a time gettin' this thing up here." "Eh, Miss Laura, uh, she said it's gotta be back in the mornin'." "All right, Snowflake." "Pick it up on your way to work tomorrow." "Yes'm." "Oh, wait a minute!" "There." "Thank you, ma'am, Miss Regi." "Oh, that's all right." "Thank you, ma'am." "Thank you, ma'am." " Hey, what's that thing?" "A lighthouse?" " No." " Take your shirt off." "You've got to get sunburned." " Who me?" "Well, who went to Bermuda?" "Me?" "Aw!" "What do I have to do that for?" "So you won't go back looking like a ghost." "That's nice talk." "Take your shirt off." "I'm tired." "I want to get to bed." "Is it gonna hurt?" "It'll probably skin you." "Well, you have to know how to operate those machines." "There's nothing to it." "They told me at the shop 50 minutes on each side." "Fifty minutes?" "Or was it 15?" "Slight difference of 35 minutes naturally wouldn't make any difference to you, would it?" "Well,just stay under it until you're done." "No." "Nothin' doin'." "Are you gonna get undressed, or do I have to undress you?" "All right." "All right." "Come on!" "I've never seen anything like it." "Man always afraid of getting hurt." "Well, come on." "Come on." "This too?" "Well, you can't sunburn through that." "I could tell her I wore a swimming shirt." "You fool." "Now get underneath it." "Now lie down." "I think that's close enough." "Oh, stop squawking." "There." "Get your feet up!" "Is it warm?" "Do you think I'll burn or freckle?" "I don't know your habits." "You should." "What time does your boat get in tomorrow?" "I don't know." "Don't you think you'd better do something about looking it up?" "Where's the paper?" "Oh, Whitey's sitting on it." "That shows you what he thinks about the whole business." "He's always been something of a critic." "Excuse me, dear." "I wanna look up the shipping news." "Hey, don't you think I've had enough of this sun?" "After all, I'm just supposed to be a visitor in Bermuda, not a native West Indian." "Would you like a drink of water?" "Yeah." "Mm-hmm." "Please." "Turn over." "Thanks." "You know, you'll make some guy a darn good wife." "It's funny how people thought we were married." "Yeah." "Funny, isn't it?" "Well, I don't know." "It isn't so funny at that." "I've heard of funnier things." "I'll bet we'd make a nice couple." "Have you forgotten we're heels?" "You haven't lost sight of your plans, have you?" "Have you?" "Certainly not." "Well, neither have I." "What's the idea of playing blind man's bluff this time of the night?" "So you won't hurt your eyes." "Oh." "Well, we've had a lot of laughs, haven't we, Regi?" "Yeah, we've had a lotta laughs." "I've never had so much fun in my whole life." "You remember that first night?" "When I had the hiccups?" "When we had the hiccups,you mean." "Yeah, there'll be a lot of things I'll remember." "You've had enough, Ted, and I'm tired anyway." "Don't go yet, Regi." "This is all the time we'll have together." "Yes, I know, but I have to work in the morning." "Would you bring the things in from the outside?" "Yeah." "Regi." " What is it?" " Aren't you gonna tuck me in?" "Regi?" "This is the last time you'll do this." "Just this once, Regi, for going away?" "Good night." "Thanks." "Don't mention it." "Good night." "Regi." "Regi." "Yes?" "Will you come out?" "I wanna talk to you." "No, not tonight." "I'm very sleepy." "But this is our last night." "Yes, I know." "Please come out." "I won't sleep if you don't." "Of course you will." "Please." "There's the light." "You've got to get to bed." "You've got to get up early." "Well... good night." "Good night." "I didn't know you were out here." "I" " I wasn't sleeping very much." "Neither was I. I've been awake all night." "I know." "It's swell out here, isn't it?" "Yes, lovely." "We can't." "Why not?" "Oh, there's a hundred-million miles between us." "It doesn't seem that far." "We're not for each other." "I think we are." "In six months you'd hate me, or have to." "No, I wouldn't." "I know better." "You'd have to scratch for a living in a world you know nothing about." "Isn't that what you're doing?" "I'm used to it." "I could get used to it." "It's too late." "You couldn't fit yourself to being poor." "Other people have done it." "Yes, and there's no greater tragedy." "With you it would be a thousand times worse." "You'd always know you could've been rich again if you hadn't been foolish." "You'd be thinking about that all the time." "You couldn't help it." "Marry the rich one, kid." "Believe me, if I were you, that's what I'd do." "Good night." "Good night." "Oh, you fool." "Oh, no, Whitey, you can't go." "Ted." "Ted!" "Morning, Miles." "Did I get you up?" "Why, Mr. Drew!" "We didn't expect you." "Did you get back from Bermuda?" "Don't I look it?" "Tell Miss Vivien I'm here." "But Miss Vivien's in New York, Mr. Drew." "In New York?" "Yes, sir." "Staying at the Savoy-Cariton." "The Savoy-Cariton?" "Yes, sir." "Well, why the Savoy-Cariton?" "Well, I don't know, sir." "She didn't say." "But I suppose she had some reason." "Well, thanks, Miles." "That's where I go, then." "Keep out of drafts, won't you?" "Yes." "Thank you, sir." "Oh, Mr. Drew!" "The next train isn't until quarter of 9:00." "Thanks, Miles." "And now, uh, this model, Miss Snowden, I particularly prize." "Isn't that stunning?" "That would be terrific on my camel trip to the pyramids." "Miss Snowden." "Yes?" "The manicurist will be right up." "Uh, I'll see the rest in just a moment." "Yes, Miss Snowden." "Did you get the one I asked for?" "Yes, Miss Snowden." "And are you sure you didn't mention my name?" "No, Miss Snowden." "Just the number of the apartment." "You sent for a manicurist?" "Yes, please." "In here, please." "The manicurist, mademoiselle." "Yes." "Yes, of course." "Are you ready?" "Yes, I'm ready." "Will you fill this with warm water, please?" "Thanks." "Uh, I hope you'll forgive this mess, but I've been inspecting my trousseau." "Oh, that's all right." "Any shorter?" "No." "Your name is Regi Allen, isn't it?" "Yes." "When you called downstairs for me, I thought I must've done your nails before." "No." "The manager said you were the best, and that's how I happened to" "That's nice of him." "Thank you." "Will you tell me something about your profession?" "Why is it that all men attempt to dine with manicurists the minute they sit down?" "Is it because they are holding hands, more or less?" "I think that's a little exaggerated." "Not from what I hear." "Every man I know who has an evening on his hands says, "I think I'll get a manicure."" "Oh, he does?" "Well, I don't think he always succeeds." "Oh, I see." "You're an exception." "That's why you only dine with men like, uh, Theodore Drew III, for instance." "You don't want a manicure, Miss Snowden." "No." "I only wanted to see what you were like, and that didn't take very long." "When Ted telephoned from New York and said he was in Bermuda," "I engaged detectives to find out what part of New York." "Can I say something?" "Quite unnecessary." "Well, there's nothing between Ted and me." "I said you didn't have to explain." "I know all about what happened between you and Ted." "My purpose in seeing you was to see if you were different than an ordinary manicurist." "Now that I've met you, my dear Miss Allen, my fears are quite groundless." "Are you through?" "There's one thing I think we haven't covered." "Mr. Drew, as you probably know, is not overly wealthy at the moment." "I think it's only fair that you should be paid." "You'd better be careful, Miss Snowden." "That you should be paid for a week's manicuring." "If you'll find me my purse- I wouldn't for the world want you wasting your time." "Mr. Drew will find your purse." "There's no charge." "I'm quite accustomed to wasting my time on people." "What time is it, Peter?" "Nearly 12:00, sir." "Got the champagne ready?" "Yes, sir." "You think she'll like it, Peter?" "Oh, she couldn't help it, sir." "Oh, you're so late this morning, miss." "Mr. Macklyn has been" "Yes, I know." "I was polishing up a bride." "Can I see Mr. Macklyn?" "Oh, yes, miss." "He's waiting for you impatiently." "Well, at last." "What a day to be late." "Oh!" "What is it, Regi?" "Don't talk yet." "That's right, dear." "Have it out." "Oh, Allen, y-you don't know." "Come, come now." "It's not as bad as that." "Yes, it is." "It's terrible." "Can't you tell me about it, Regi?" "Oh, it's Ted." "He's gone back to that other girl." "Oh!" "So you did let yourself fall in love with him." "Yes!" "Hard-boiled Hannah was gonna fall in love with a bankroll." "I'm sorry, Regi." "Well, don't be sorry for me." "It serves me right!" "Serves me right for going back on everything I believed." "Oh, I should've run like mad when I saw what was happening." "But not me, no!" "I jump at it." "I wanna get bitten." "Well, I got it." "You can't run away from love, Regi." "It just comes." "I know how ya feel." "Come now." "Come on." "Come on." "Stop crying." "I won't!" "I'll cry if I want to." "I've got a good cry coming to me!" "All right." "All right." "Perhaps you'd better have some music with it." "It's much more effective with music." "No, it isn't!" "I know!" "I don't want that!" "Hello, Celeste." "Hello, Monsieur Drew." "Vous etes amuse a Bermuda?" "Oh, comme ci, comme ca." "Is, uh, she in there?" "Hi." "Hi, Ted." "How are ya?" "Oh, I'm fine." "And so are you." "There's nothing quite like a trip to Bermuda." "No, indeed." "But that depends." "What depends?" "On if you go to Bermuda." "This time I didn't go." "Where have you been?" "Downstairs." "Is that where you met her?" "Yeah, that's just where I met her, but" "When you called from Bermuda the wires were crossed, and I took it upon myself to get them connected again." "I know her." "And I know this too- I'll take you back again." "I'm afraid it's a little late." "Once I was a very interesting young fellow made-to-order for you." "I was the enemy of the ordinary." "But do you know what's on my mind right now?" "No." "I'm wondering where I can get a job." "What can you do?" "Early this morning I bumped into the milkman, and I says, says I," ""That man had better be moving, or I'll take away his bottles and show him how milk should really be sold."" "No kidding." "I don't care what it is." "I wanna sell something." "I'm in the subway now, and I don't think you'd like me anymore." "Wouldn't I?" "What do you suggest doing about it?" "Ask you to release me from our engagement." "Why should I?" "We entered this agreement with our eyes open." "I know, and I know how I must look to you, but it's better it happen now than later." "Well, that's a small silver lining." "Oh, Ted, grow up!" "I thought I was in love once myself-with a policeman on a horse in Central Park." "But I know I'm in love... with a manicurist in a barbershop." "How can you marry her?" "How can you live without money?" "I'll earn it." "That's what I should've been doing long ago." "Good heavens." "You really do mean it, don't you?" "It's probably the only thing I've ever meant in my life." "Won't last six months." "I'll take a chance on that." "You certainly will." "I hope you're very happy on the Milky Way." "Can't do any more than drown me." "Then all I can say is good-bye, Ted." "Good-bye, and thanks." "Feel better?" "Mm-hmm." "Some champagne?" "No." "I don't want any." "Strange." "In moments like these, most people do." "You're playing havoc with tradition." "Well, then, go and wash your funny face." "And later on, I may have a proposition to make to you." "Something I've been thinking about quite a lot lately." "Well, what is it?" "Mm-mm." "Not now." "Later." "I want to wait until you're all calmed down." "All right." "You know, my hair must look like a busted bale of hay." "Oh!" "Bye now." "Oh-Ah!" "Nona, where's Regi?" "Oh, hello, Ted." "She's upstairs." "She's not with Miss Snowden." "I don't know, then, unless she's with Mr. Macklyn." "Macklyn?" "Where's he?" "Yes. 1502." "Why don't you go up after her?" "I'm practically there." "Oh, dear!" "He frightened me." "You know, he's a boyfriend of a girlfriend of mine." "Yes." "Oh, dear." "You'll pardon me, won't you?" "Certainly." "Peter!" "I'm sorry for busting in." "I knocked and nobody answered." "I'm in a hurry." "Won't you come in?" "Oh, thanks." "That'll be all, Peter." "Uh, is she here?" "She?" "Who?" "Regi Allen." "The girl who came up to give you a manicure." "Yes." "Surely there must be another manicurist in the barbershop." "Oh, I don't want a manicure." "I want to get married." "Married?" "Yes." "You don't mind if I ask her to marry me on your time, do you?" "Oh, I'm sorry." "You must think I'm nuts." "My name is Theodore Drew." "Yes, I rather thought so." "Did she tell you about me?" "Yes." "Won't you sit down?" "Yeah, thanks." "Everything was mixed up, but it's straightened out now." "You don't mind if I use your rooms as a bench in the park, just to propose in?" "We can go outside for the kissing part." " That's quite all right." " I'm a little nervous." "You should be." "Maybe you need a drink." "Yeah, maybe I do." "Maybe we both need a drink." "That's an idea." "Do you mind?" "No, I'd be glad to." "I don't know of two people who have a better right to have a drink." "Think she'll be glad to see me?" "I doubt it." "She's through with you." "Through with me!" "She can't be through with me." "You know what she's done?" "She's wrecked my life." "She's got me thinking of looking for a job." "Does she know that?" "No, but she's gonna find out." "I'm afraid you're too late." "She thinks you want to be a gigolo." "A gigolo!" "Is that what she thinks of me?" "Fine opinion she's got of me." "Uh, how about my drink?" "Oh, I'm sorry." "Women are nuts anyway." "Whoa!" "Whoa!" "Whoa!" "That's enough." "When a man's in love with a woman, he shouldn't keep it a secret." "A secret?" "I've done everything but broadcast it." "Do you want some fizz?" "No, thanks." "Everybody in the hotel knows it." "Except Regi." "Well, can I help it if love's blind?" "Women like to be swept off their feet." "Well, that's what I'm here for." "Well, then take my advice, and don't do it with a feather duster." "Good luck." "Thanks." " Oh!" "So I'm a gigolo, am I?" " What are you doing here?" "What do you mean by telling people I don't wanna go to work?" "You wouldn't take a job if it was thrown in your lap." "Is that so!" "Go back to your pineapple queen." "She's not my pineapple queen." "I gave her back to the Hawaiians." "What's the matter?" "Find somebody with more pineapples?" "No." "I found somebody I shouldn't waste my time on." "But like an imbecile, I fell in love with her." "Love?" "Ha-ha!" "The only one you're in love with is yourself!" "." "Is that so?" "Yes, I fell in love!" "I hope you eat so many pineapples you get sick!" "I never thought I'd fall for the racket- Shut up!" "What do you think my apartment is, Madison Square Garden?" "Go someplace else and do your battling." "What do you mean by coming up in this gentleman's apartment and making all this noise?" "All right." "Let's go someplace where we can argue like gentlemen!" "Let go of my wrist!" "Ouch!" "Come on!" "Allen!" "Allen, save me!" "Ow!" "Sir, you can't possibly stand all this." "It's all right, Peter." "Allen!" "Oh, Allen, you're so right." "It is love that counts." "Good-bye." "See you soon." "Oh, but, sir, please" "Uh" "I, uh, forgot my hat." "Good-bye, Mr. Macklyn." "Thanks a lot." "But what are we doing here?" "We're going to lunch." "I know the place where they have the swellest goulash." "We haven't time." "We have too many things to do." "We've got to get the license, you've gotta see about your job and we've gotta get married." "You don't expect me to get married on an empty stomach, do ya?" "Well, I'm not going all over town looking for goulash." "Okay, we'll flip for it." "Heads, we get married, and tails, we go to lunch." "You got a coin?" "Yes, I think so." "If it stands on edge, I'll look for a job." "You flip it." "Ohh!" "Stop the bus!" "Ring the bell." "Oh!" "Stop the bus!" "Stop the bus!" "Well, what is it?" "What is it?" "W" " Well, what is it?" "Oh." "Well, I guess we look for a job." "Hey, lay off of that, will ya?"