"Mr. Bash..." "This is a court." "Your honor, we are proving ***." "If I end up on the Internet..." "All right, go." "And hurry up." "Ladies and gentlemen, Aquacage claims that their interior emergency lever should release my associate." "As you can see, it did not work." "Moreover, it did not work the night the amazing Keith almost met his demise." "I think we've made our point." "Okay." "What -- what's going on?" "What " "What's going on here?" "No, no, no, it's okay." "He's a surfer." "All right, people." "Calm down." "Come on." "Come on!" "Come on!" "Bailiff!" "Oh, my God!" "Oh, my God!" "Your locks are defective, too?" "!" "No!" "Does anything that comes out of your factory work?" "It doesn't even come out of my factory!" "It comes from China!" "China?" "But you swore you manufactured it all here." "Let's discuss that." "Oh." "Get back!" "This Banco Popular deal is critical if we want a Rio office." "Ms. linden has recently learned Portuguese." "Partners stay." "Everyone else, give us the room." "Hanna, gentlemen, our little experiment with Franklin and Bash is...concluded." "I almost got shot." "Yeah." "That would have been cool." "Yeah." "Then they'd be cleaning blood and water." "I should have worn a wet suit." "Then it would have looked like we knew what we were doing." "Yeah. 'Cause that was gonna happen." "Robbo!" "Robbie!" "Come to papa!" "Come here." "Ha ha!" "What are you doing here?" "The keg man triathlon." "Yeah." "You're still the commissioner?" "Yeah." "It's an institution." "We miss you guys." "Oh, yeah, putting on crazy costumes and competing while chugging beers." "We do that here now." "You never did it." "You know, it is impossible to wear heels when you swim." "Then your costume shouldn't have had heels." "But it did have heels, okay?" "!" "You weren't even wearing a bra." "The keg man was Saturday." "I got arrested." "So, the cop was trying to take away your beer, but you didn't know she was a cop 'cause she was so hot?" "No, I thought she was just some sexy chick in a sexy cop outfit." "So I hit on her." "Until she tasered you." "It's why we love him." "Totally." "Here's the thing -- this could cost me my job." "Yeah." "They like me at that school." "I'm the only guy there with enough energy for the kids." "I get convicted of this, I'm done." "First, we ignore the fact that you teach our young." "Second, we argue mens rea, all right?" "Ignorance of the facts -- you did not have a guilty mind." "Yeah, so first things first, we'll talk to the arresting officer, see if she'll drop the case." "Free me." "Free you." "Free Robbie." "Free Robbie." "One of these." "There you go." "Ba-boom!" "So, gentlemen, I heard what happened in court today." "Well, the bailiff is the one who broke the glass." "We won the case, and I think we saved lives." "You know, you showed commitment, courage, ingenuity." "That's the qualities that we want here at Infeld-Daniels." "Right." "We work here now." "You know that, though, right?" "Yes, but I've proposed that you join Infeld-Daniels as full equity partners." "Wait -- you mean, like," ""split the firm's revenues" equity partners?" "Yeah." "Of course, after all liabilities have been paid, but, yes." "We could finally Reno the man cave." "Could you imagine the super bowl party with two TVs?" "Two TVs?" "We could have more." "Wait, wait, as partners, we still get to choose the cases we want?" "Of course." "As partners, you'd have more power to select your own cases." "More power." "More money." "More everything." "Yeah!" "Let's do this." "That would be more." "Just hold your water, gentlemen." "I said I proposed you." "The other partners -- they have to vote you in by a 2/3 majority." "Oh." "Okay." "Okay." "Yeah." "No problem." "2/3." "2/3." "Copy that." "People love us here." "Yeah." "2/3." "♪ Ooh, what a mixture ♪" "♪ such a vivid picture ♪" "♪ ooh, what a mixture ♪" "I've done a straw poll." "The vote is going to be very close." "But I know how to tip it in your favor." "Muffins." "Muffins." "Seriously?" "No." "Look, partners bring in new clients." "And I'm not talking wienie waggers or drum circles' rights to amplification." "Thank you, Joanne." "The drum circle paid." "Yeah, in pesos." "Now, look, you want to impress people, make a little rain." "Sign a big corporate client." "Someone who's litigation prone and will be a long-term income stream for the firm." "Here." "Who's this?" "Lawrence J. Reynolds." "Chief counsel to pacific shores beverage, inc." "They own or import half the spirits and ales on the west coast." "We're big fans of their work." "Oh, yeah." "He's in town this week." "I want you to sign him as a client." "And that will help get us the votes?" "Yeah." "Look, the partners here -- they know you can cha-cha with the best of them." "Prove to them that you can waltz." "Yeah." "All right." "Yeah." "We got it." ""Waltz" means we get our sophisticated corporate game on." "We can do that." "Not really our strong suit -- talking with the big boys." "Yeah." "Well, the pitch is at 6:00." "We finish with Robbie's cop, we have all day to bone up." "Relax, we can dance to anything." "Is that her?" "Where?" "Oh." "Officer Wendy Cowell?" "Oh, yeah, that's her." "Oh." "Whoa, whoa." "Hello." "Not use her blinkers when she..." "Hi." "God." "Hi." "Hi." "I'm " " I'm Peter Bash." "I'm...virtually a partner at Infeld-Daniels." "I'm just...gonna let my buddy handle this." "And I had a 9-minute pace going and I'm wondering why I stopped." "Well, we're here on behalf of our client, Robbie Ambriano." "You arrested him on the beach." "Oh, yeah." "Spartacus." "That was his costume." "Yes, you know, it's funny that you mention costumes, 'cause this is a misunderstanding." "He didn't think you were a real police officer." "He thought you were dressed up." "Is there something wrong with him?" "That's debatable, but, no, no, it's just " "Honestly, you don't look like a typical cop." "What should cops look like?" "Okay, now -- now you're putting words in my mouth." "You're a lawyer?" "Really?" "Wouldn't know it right now." "I'm just gonna come out and say it -- you're beautiful." "So my arrest was bogus?" "Okay." "Abort." "Pull up." "This is a bad idea." "Look, Peter, the virtually a partner, that guy was drinking on the beach, which is illegal." "I told him to stop, and he didn't." "I even put him in a double armbar, and he wriggled free." "So I tasered his ass." "He's not walking on this." "Shut up." "Didn't say anything." "We know going to trial is your biggest expense." "So, initially, we seek arbitration, mediation, summary judgments." "It sounds like you're scared to take cases to trial." "Ha ha." "Oh, no, sir, hardly." "Yeah, we love going to court." "We love court." "We've seen "..." "And Justice For All" about 10 times each just to give you an idea." "You're out of order!" "The whole trial's out of order!" "Trial's out of order!" "No, no, not working." "Here's the thing." "We're advocates." "And we want this gig." "So right now, we're advocates for ourselves." "But if you hire us, we're advocates for you." "Trust me -- you want that." "We're not like other lawyers." "We're creative." "We're relentless." "And we're willing to fire every bullet in the chamber." "Can you give me an example of one of your "bullets"?" "Sure." "Let's just say it's a good thing" "I can hold my breath for a very long time." "People vs. Aquacage." "You ever heard of the amazing Keith?" "Your clients paid for you to learn pilates in court?" "We had to prove that the stretch did not cause the stroke." "Said the man who took a toke." "Wait." "The pugs." "You know those guys?" " Yeah." " Want to go see them?" " Yeah." "Hell yeah." "When?" "Yeah." "Right now." "They're shooting a commercial up in Napa for a wine we own." "Napa." "We're flying?" "We have to." "They're onstage right now." "We're not gonna get to the airport in time." "It's rush hour." "We're not going to the airport." "We're going up to the roof." "The roof." "That's..." "Helicopter." "Dude, be cool, be cool, be cool." "You coming?" "Sure." "Yeah." "Yeah." "Yeah." "Yay!" "Why is there a phone number on your back?" "Because we were in Napa at the best party ever, and now I'm really, really, really good friends with a French olympic ice dancer." "Napa is an agricultural zone." "You should be quarantined." "There's a peacock in our house right now!" "Shh." "His name is Douglas." "Shh." "Nice kilt." "It's not a kilt." "It's a skirt." "Hey, when you two are done being all corporate," "I'm gonna need to update you on Robbie's case." "Fine." "Just not so loud." "Okay." "Um..." "I found three of the women who dressed up as sexy cops." "Got them to give me their costumes as evidence " "And they were coated in what I pray was sweat and sunscreen." "Pindar washed them." "I washed them." "They were cheap costumes." "I mean, they're totally ruined." "That's great." "Now the D.A.'s gonna claim spoliation of evidence." "We can't use them now, Pindy." "Pindy, come on." "Peter and I are on the fast track now." "We make partners, we can renovate this place." "Right, and since you're afraid to leave, you should want that." "You're a good lawyer -- smarter than these two." "Stanton." "Yello." "Stanton, good morning." "No." "Not so far." "So, tell me, how was your evening?" "Great." "We're sending wine for Christmas." "Hmm." "Good." "So I take it that you weren't there when the cops showed up and arrested Larry?" "What?" "No." "What happened?" "Apparently, he landed his helicopter at the Beverly Hilton early this morning." "Well, we weren't flying the thing." "I mean..." "I don't think." "Stanton, it was a big night." "I trusted you two with potentially an enormous piece of business." "Now he equates Infeld-Daniels with sitting in a cell." "So, go get him out." "We're on it." "That's bad." "Are you wearing eyeliner?" "No." "Are you wearing lipstick?" "No." "Our new partners." "There's a reason why the firm charter requires a 5-year probationary period before offering partnership." "Ah, not anymore." "There's been an amendment or something like that." "There's another reason not to offer those two partnership -- they're idiots." "Damien, you know, you and they -- you have a highly complex relationship." "But the ancient bristlecone pine really does needs the arctic Finch." "Yeah, super." "Look, there's a potentially lucrative client cooling his heels in lock-up." "Now, I'm betting he wants to talk to a full-sized, grown-up lawyer." "Listen, I can't go, I have a meeting with " "I meant me." "Oh." "Fine, Damien." "But I don't want you to take the helm unless you're absolutely certain that Franklin and Bash are running into the rocks!" "Lady." "Gaga." "How about the minty ones?" "Trans fat." "One box." "Your client's being arraigned in five minutes." "And you're buying girl scout cookies?" "Hey, Mikey." "I hope your daughter's troop wins." "Now get us in front of judge Mosley." "All right." "Gentlemen, are we ready?" "Your honor, while Mr. Reynolds may have been in charge of the helicopter, it was the pilot's obligation not to land it." "Which may be mitigated if the pilot felt -- that it was illegal." "After all, the Beverly Hilton is a high-end establishment that might have helipad rights, akin to, say, Terranea resort." "Terranea?" "You've been there?" "It's so romantic." "Especially the pools." "The pools?" "Under the moon." "In April." "It's bangin'." "But you know what?" "I'm never gonna go there again, ever." "Mr. Reynolds has no criminal history." "Given the misunderstanding, I'm inclined to recommend a warning." "Next case." "Thank you, your honor." "Was that judge just leveraged?" "Not something we normally do." "Yeah, I can understand why." "Risky move." "Well, the "A" team is here now." "If there's any blowback, we can mitigate any adverse effects." "Do you have any Advil?" "Uh...no." "Can you go get some?" "Mitigate this thing." "Maybe pick up some of that spicy pho soup, too." "I'd like to talk to these two." "We launched a new microbrew six months ago, Kurt's Amber Ale." "Been there, drunk that." "Good stuff." "Yeah, it's doing well, but there's an establishment infringing, selling it as their own." "I'm gonna be in town awhile." "I'd like to see you work." "Go up there and stop 'em." "Wait, so, we're hired?" "Trial basis." "See if it works out." "If it does, yeah, you're hired." "All right." "Oh." "How do I get out of here?" "Go down that way, take the elevator to the parking garage." "No." "No, that's the judge's chambers." "The elevator." "Elevator." "Right by the hooker." "Yep." "Yes." "Yes." "Dude." "Wait, wait, we have to go..." "It's gonna be weird if we go " "Okay, let's go this way." "Carmen, you're the best." "No." "Bye." "You get the cellphone footage of keg man?" "Yep." "Dope." "Also filed a pitchess motion on officer Wendy." "You're gonna open her file?" "Uh-huh." "You know, it's not like Facebook, with vacation, bikini photos." "Stop. 9 out of 10 cops have misconduct complaints." "She tried to put Robbie in an armbar, then tasered him." "She might have anger issues." "If she doesn't, she will now." "Hello." "Hi." "Hello." "Oh." "Uh, we didn't -- we didn't order yet." "I took a chance." "If you don't want 'em, don't worry about it." "Thanks." "That's really good." "Our yeast gives it the great head." "Uh, we're looking for Joan Harris, the owner." "You got her." "What can I do for you guys?" "Is there a place we could talk?" "I saw when they started selling it in the supermarkets, but it didn't really affect my business, so I didn't worry." "Kurt's Amber is why people come to my place." "You're saying now I can't sell it?" "I'm afraid not." "Pacific shores beverages owns the recipe and the rights." "Not Kurt, my father, the brewer?" "In 1988, your father entered Kurt's Amber into the golden state brew-off." "These are the rules, which he signed." "He won the contest." "And later in the day, he signed this document, relinquishing all trademark and ownership to Kurt's Amber in exchange for $30,000 in prize money." "This is insane." "I mean, I brew it in my own horse barn." "Can I keep these?" "My uncle is a lawyer." "Maybe he'll take a look." "Sure." "Hey, dude." "We have court." "Thanks." "Thank you." "Our client is huge." "He's got the power to get an expedited hearing for a summary judgment on this tomorrow." "I wouldn't waste money fighting it." "Okay." "Robbie Ambriano did not resist arrest because he never thought he was under arrest." "He thought officer Cowell was a civilian in a police costume." "Was that foolish?" "Yes." "But was it criminal?" "No." "Just watch, okay?" "And rather than taking the time to convincingly explain her position, officer Cowell just tasered my client." "Thank you." "This is the weirdest courtship I've ever seen." "Shut up." "It's like watching animal planet." "Are you gonna bite her?" "Mr. Bash, are you prepared to call your first witness?" "Your honor, have you had time to review our pitchess motion?" "I don't want him in my file." "Neither does the state of California, officer." "I'm sorry, Mr. Bash, but without prior evidence of misconduct on the part of officer Cowell, her police file stays closed." "Well, in that case, your honor, I'd like to call officer Cowell to the witness stand." "Unfortunately, none of our video captured the other revelers dressed as police women, but you can get a sense of the chaos." "I mean, it must have been crazy." "Especially for someone who weighs, what, a buck 20?" "15?" "Excuse me?" "Objection." "Argumentative." "Complimentary." "Mr. Bash, is there a point?" "Yes, your honor." "I suspect my client didn't know he was being arrested because officer Cowell was scared and overreacted." "I reacted the same as I always do." ""The same as you always do."" "When?" "When you've had to restrain other suspects, when you've had to taser them?" "Objection." "Relevance." "The court's already ruled on officer Cowell's " "Officer Cowell compared this arrest to prior occasions." "She opened the door to this line of questioning, your honor." "Objection overruled." "Officer Cowell, was this the most dangerous situation you've ever been in?" "No." "How was it compared to the Pennywise concert -- February 6, 2010?" "That happened in your division." "And numerous other police officers were accused of police brutality." "You were at that show, weren't you?" "Yes." "Your honor, based on the officer's testimony, we'd ask that you reverse a ruling of the pitchess motion and provide us with officer Cowell's conduct file." "Objection." "Bailiff, give both lawyers a copy of officer Cowell's disciplinary file." "Thank you." " All right." " Well done getting her file admitted." "I thought you were just being annoying." "Watch and learn, son." "Got to be something in here that we can use." "Yep." "Yep." "I'm learning." "Mr. Bash..." "Would you care to share your findings with the court?" "Um..." "No." "That's fine, your honor." "The people will be happy to read the contents of this file to the jury, chapter and verse, on redirect." "Uh, wait, wait, wait." "I'll read it." "I'll read it." "In 2009, you, uh, had a 3-week paid leave of absence from the force." "Yes." "To help at-risk children in foster homes." "Yes." "Is Mr. Bash going to ask the witness about her actions at the Pennywise show, where she got a meritorious citation for rescuing a concert-goer " "Yes, I was just about to get to that." "Well-played." "What happened?" "She made you." "Am I her bitch?" "Mm-hmm." "Excuse me." "I'm looking for officer Cowell." "Peter Bash." "I'm a lawyer." "Oh." "A lawyer." "Norman, beer for my friend." "Throw it at his head." "Make that a white Russian." "What kind of idiot actually thinks" "Tommy Halpin is gonna buy a drink?" "Officer." "Lawyer." "Mind if I join you?" "Not at all." "Well, this is a nice bar." "How did you know I wanted to get into your file?" "You seem really nosey." "Look, I know we're having fun, but " "How do you know that?" "Really?" "Yeah." "You want me to go there?" "Mm-hmm." "Okay." "The hair flip you just did -- you know that's sexy as hell." "It was in my eyes." "The way you're looking at me, you're having fun." "Especially now that you think you're winning the case." "Hold on." "I'm not winning?" "I don't want my buddy to get convicted." "Your buddy resisted arrest." "He would never resist arrest, he's not a bad guy." "And this would cost him his job." "You're too sexy to be a cop." "He just thought you were a hot chick fooling around." "Stand up." "Well, why?" "Stand up." "Okay." "Put your hands on my shoulders." "I don't know -- Put your hands on my shoulders." "...what happened here." "Wow." "Do you think I'm fooling around?" "Uh, I'm open to it." "How about now?" "No, no." "I did this to your buddy." "He knew I wasn't fooling around." "Ow!" "You should leave..." "Before Halpin has another drink." "Tsk." "Do you really think I'm a good lawyer?" "That I could make partner like Jared and Peter?" "Well, yeah, but I think that " "I want to be better." "You had your brain scanned?" "F-MRIs, blood chemistry, hormone balance suites." "I'm like Eve in "Species II" but not as hot." ""Mr. Singh's multiple phobias manifested his freshman year at USC."" "My roommate, Phil Guenzer, would kick me out of my room every time he brought home one of his many co-ed conquests." "Wow." "So you were sexiled." "Repeatedly." "And I was fresh off the plane from Jamshedpur." "I didn't know anybody." "I didn't know where to go." "Oh, Pindy." "So I just walked around alone..." "Until I found the student health center." "You slept in the infirmary." "I would fake illnesses so I could sleep among the diseased." "And then after a little while," "I started getting sick myself." "Right." "In your head." "No!" "But that's what everyone else thinks, yes." "I was a great student." "I came to this country to study, and now I have become the specimen." "So that's the uncle lawyer, huh?" "That's why you shouldn't work with family." "She shouldn't be fighting this." "I know." "Let's make it easy on them." "Franklin and Bash, I read your moving papers." "You believe your case merits a summary judgment?" "Uh, yes, your honor." "As stipulated in the rules for the golden state brew-off and subsequent contracts, exhibit "A" and "B" respectively, the plaintiff's father released any and all rights to Kurt's Amber Ale." "Counselor, would you like to see exhibit "A"?" "Yes, your honor." "Yes, your honor, I would." "I'd love to go to the window, look at a little sunshine." "Yeah, that's the president." "It's Jimmy Stewart." "The peanut farmer." "The actor Jimmy Stewart." "These are the rules, and this is the binding contract." "I hope he's not charging her for this." "We would like the court to make note of rule 18 in the golden state brew-off rules, which stipulate" ""All contestants must sample every other contestant's brew."" "All right, that means that my client signed away any rights pursuant to rules that required he drink 44 beers before doing so?" "Given the laws regarding "lack of capacity,"" "we challenge the legality of that." "Me too." "Further, we would like to file a motion for permanent injunction demanding that pacific shores beverage immediately cease and desist the production and sales of Kurt's Amber Ale." "Your honor, he's talking about shutting down a brewery." "And..." "And -- "And"?" "We are seeking a construction trust for any and all proceeds generated from the sale of this product." "That's...millions." "And..." ""And"?" "Dude, you're done." "And punitive damages in the amount of $100 million." "I think summary judgment is out." "Davey, Goliath, we're going to trial." "That may be the first time in your life you have been called Goliath." "The punitive filing is meritless." "They're looking for a settlement." "And they might get it because their other stuff has real teeth." "Okay, but maybe we caught a break here." "I mean, who knows more about alcohol rulings than us?" "Nobody." "Which is why I know we're in trouble." "Okay, speaking of alcohol rules, can we please stop putting the vodka in the crisper?" "Where should it go?" "Um, not in the crisper." "Come on, guys, we went over this in the house rules." "Carmen, don't get lost in the specifics of the rules." "It's the spirit behind them that matters." "No." "It's the specifics." "Where are the rules for the golden state brew-off?" "We left them at the office." "Come on." "I got an idea." "Okay." "You see that, Pindar?" "They're fighting back." "You got to fight back." "Look at this." "Yes." "Phil Guenzer." "Your old roommate." "He lives in Altadena now." "Look, the man took your power." "You got to confront him." "You got to take your power back." "Call him." "Ms. Harris, does this look like Kurt's Amber Ale?" "Absolutely." "The color, the clarity, the head." "Uh, what causes the head?" "Our yeast." "It's a special top-fermenting strain." "Wait, wait. "Strain"?" "Yes." "Yeast is alive." "If you feed it sugar, it can live forever." "When my dad was alive, he would go to the garage to take care of it, called it his "baby."" "Ms. Harris, do you know why they called it "The Golden State Brew-Off"?" "Because it happens in California, the golden state." "That's right." "Could you read rule number 22 for me, right there?" ""All ingredients must be grown from seed in California."" "We had a farm." "We grew our own barley, malt, hops." "How about the yeast?" "The yeast?" "The yeast was grown in our garage, in Calabasas." "We grew it here." "No." "The yeast was kept alive in your garage." "You just said that." "Objection." "Relevance?" "The relevance, your honor, is that the yeast grew in her father's hometown of Dusseldorf, Germany." "He brought it over and kept it alive here." "It's in the story on your menu." "We'd like to enter this as exhibit "E."" "I'm sorry, but he cheated." "He didn't legally win that brew-off." "Objection." "The validity of that win is not at issue!" "The validity of that win, your honor, is fundamental to this case." "Opposing counsel has brought suit under the assumption that they have the legal right to Kurt's Amber Ale." "They don't, and under the rules of collateral estoppel, any judgment brought against us, is moot." "Objection overruled." "The validity of the win does have bearing in this case." "That's all." "Fine." "I'm done with this." "I just want to go back to my restaurant." "Yeast." "Who'd have thought we'd be saved by yeast?" "Nice work." "Thanks." "Ohh." "Dodgers lost." "Listen, let me know if you guys ever want to go to any of the games." "We got distribution contracts in about eight stadiums." "Oh, thanks." "So I guess this makes us done?" "What are we doing about the 30 grand prize money?" "You want it back?" "Gas money for the chopper?" "No." "I want it back plus compounded interest." "22 years, right?" "Right." "Really?" "That's -- that's a lot of money." "Yeah." "Quarter mil, give or take." "That's gonna leave a mark." "It's gonna shut her down." "They're just a restaurant." "I'm aware of that." "That's why I'm not anticipating a lot of billable hours on this." "It just seems excessive." "I mean, we won the case." "They have no claim to the recipe." "Guys, we are deep pockets." "Deep." "Every time someone has a glass of wine we sell and burns a steak, they think about suing us." "You'll see." "We get a chance to send out the message that frivolous suits against us come with a price, a big price," "We take it." "Yeah, but the difference is -- we take it." "I'm late for a meeting." "We take it." "We take it." "We got to go." "We're gonna have to print that out again." "Or not." "Hey, is -- is it all right if I wear shorts to court?" "Wow." "Wow." "I had to ride my bike here." "And if I wear my pants, it's bad." "Yeah." "No on the shorts." "And, dude, that smell could be a problem." "You smell like Malibu Barbie." "It's sunscreen." "Yeah." "I'm not prematurely aging due to harmful U.V. rays." "Last week you were in the sun pounding beers in a gladiator outfit." "Yes, and I was covered in number 30." "Really?" "Go get dressed." "Gentlemen, hey, I just wanted to say that I'm off to cast my vote on your potential partnership." "Huh." "Care to guess?" "No." "Follow your heart." "I think it's just under your nutsack." "You think that's funny?" "Your obvious reluctance to serve this complaint?" "Yes, Bambi, I think it's funny." "How do you know we're reluctant to serve it?" "Besides the fine layer of frappuccino foam," "I know you two." "Dudes, we got to go." "Yeah." "Oh, please go." "A Franklin and Bash case awaits." "Do not allow me to get in the ways of moronic justice." "Franklin and Bash." "We've got your back." "You know, it's copywritten." "You can't..." "I mean, we could actually sue him." "Officer Cowell, is it your contention that my client must have known you were a serious police officer, not a reveler, when you put him in that submission hold?" "Yes." "It's very powerful." "Indeed." "She put me in it the other day." "I couldn't move." "But yet, somehow Robbie slipped out." "Your honor, this is exhibit "D,"" "Robbie's gladiator costume." "I'd like to put it on." "Do you think it has magic powers, Mr. Bash?" "No, but something about that day, the -- the costume, the exposed skin, allowed Robbie to easily escape." "I'd like to re-enact that moment." "Your honor, officer Cowell makes no representation that she can repeat the move now." "I'll leave it up to you, officer." "Would you like to try it again?" "Gladly." "No." "You sure?" "Yeah." "All right." "Oh, wait, wait, wait." "One more thing." "Robbie was wearing polar bear number 30 sunscreen." "Your honor, counsel just said his client was wearing a gladiator costume." "And an examination of the costume makes it quite clear " "My client was doused in sunscreen." "I can't believe I'm saying this " "Sunscreen up, counselor." "You are my best friend." "I am not putting sunscreen on you in court." "I'll do it." "Not a chance." "What?" "That's where you get burned." "All right, I believe" "I place both hands on her shoulders, thusly, and -- ohh!" "Yes, this is an armbar hold, and she is well-positioned to hyperextend my elbows." "Ow!" "Ohh!" "I'd like to compliment officer Cowell on her physical prowess." "She is really fit." "However, when covered in sunscreen, the submission hold is considerably less effective." "That's it!" "That's -- that's how it happened!" "Ladies and gentlemen, my client had no idea what officer Cowell was doing." "Should we try it again?" "Pindar." "What would you like to say to Phil?" "Phil." "Did you bring back my Jewel CD that you stole in college?" "What the hell did I do to him?" "You banished him from his room." "You sexiled him freshman year." "What?" "!" "Yeah, he said you brought home a different girl every night and kicked him out of your dorm room." "I had a girlfriend freshman year." "And I never kicked him out at night." "He just left." "To sleep in the health center?" "Yeah." "Actually, Megan and I were kind of insulted." "Every time she came over to hang with me, he'd leave." "And she was really nice to him." "She -- she cooked for him and stuff." "Megan." "She was about the only girl" "I've ever seen him interact with." "But whenever I was around, he'd split." "Thanks for saving me, you guys." "Hey, I know exactly how I'm gonna pay." "Money." "It's customary." "Ha!" "You're hilarious." "Uh -- I got you." "Officer." "Hey." "Hey." "So, now that this is all done, we don't have to keep doing, you know..." "Doing what?" "What we were doing -- the one-upmanship..." "Winning." "I was doing my job." "You were doing yours." "Okay." "And if we had that much fun while we were working, imagine if we went out to have a good time." "You don't have to imagine, officer." "I'll call you." "Okay." "You closed?" "Yeah." "I can't believe you doubted me." "Never doubted you, not for a second." "You're on fire." "You're working late." "Admin stuff." "The warty handmaiden of success." "But at least I have two new partners to share the burden." "You're in, boys." "The swing vote came in tonight." "Really." "Okay." "Oh, lord." "Well, the negotiations for new offices start immediately." "It's not that." "We need to talk." "That was a terrible mistake she made, counter-suing." "I'm not surprised Larry wants his pound of flesh." "It wasn't really her idea." "It was her lawyer's." "So, what are you proposing?" "We don't want to do this." "We want to tell him that he's wrong." "But he's not." "We put a spin on it." "We say it's good P.R. to give her a pass, talk about corporate image." "Lawrence Reynolds knows exactly the image he wants for his corporation." "Gentlemen, surely I don't have to give you this speech." "I mean, you are now partners in a major law firm." "And we help countries raise capital." "We defend laws that go back to the Magna Carta." "And we are always advocates for our clients." "But don't we get to guide those clients?" "Sometimes, yes." "And sometimes, no." "Maybe we shouldn't be partners." "We're not doing it." "Damien..." "Unfortunately, you were right." "I need you to pull the trigger." "Hey, got a minute?" "I want to talk to you about Franklin and Bash." "Ugh, I can't believe that I'm in the same professional club as those two." "I was the swing vote that made them partners." "You?" "My uncle is infectious." "You ever read the firm's partnership agreement, all 206 pages?" "Boilerplate." "Some." "But also provisions that protect the firm from partners who don't behave in a professional manner." "We have a morality clause." "In our partnership agreement?" "Yep, and partners who are in breach of it are removed from the firm." "We need to start keeping a log of their questionable behavior." "Awesome." "It's gonna be a book." "Our only shot at saving Joan was getting Larry to call off the dogs." "Since we tried and couldn't do that..." "It was gonna happen." "So we delivered it ourselves." "Seemed right." "Fill these out." "No poppy-seed bagels for the next few weeks." "Drug test." "What is this?" "Start papers." "Peter and I can now hire you as full-time employees of Infeld-Daniels." "Mm-hmm." "Which means 401S, health benefits, psychiatric wellness programs." "And since all of your phobias can be traced to a girl named Megan, you might want to look into that." "Oh." "Megan." "She was lovely." "She had these tiny little hands, like a raccoon." "Sounds hot." "Thank you." "You're welcome." "The first time I saw her, I remember everything." "It was a Wednesday." "Okay." "You have us both." "Great work, guys." "Yeah, thanks." "Thank you." "All that's left is collection." "But we can talk about that at my place in vail." "You guys mountain bike?" "Yeah, I do, but..." "You know what, Larry?" "I don't think we can make it." " We have a trial coming up, and we have a lot of prep." " Yeah." "Oh." "Drag." "Damien Karp, you met him the other day." "Pho soup guy?" "Yeah." "Yeah." "He's gonna take over for us." "He's much better at this kind of stuff." ""This kind of stuff."" "Is this kind of stuff too hard for you kids?" "Because it's what I need in lawyers." "It's what makes businesses work." "Absolutely it does." "It's just that were busy." "Go ahead and drop the lawsuit against Joan." "Really?" "I'm gonna be in vail." "I hope you guys can make it." "If you're as lame on the steeps as you are in business, we're gonna have a problem." "Well, we are much more lame on -- on -- on the steeps." "Go ahead and call my secretary for details." "Yeah, you got it." "Okay." "All right." "Oh-ho!" "Ow!" "Unbelievable!" "It is unbelievable." "You are unbelievable." "You were right." "We're corporate." "Yep." "Man, it's like the ending of "The Candidate."" "Yeah." ""What do we do now?"" "I should rent "The Candidate."" "You want to do that or do you want to go to vail?" "Let's go to vail." "You can't even ride a mountain bike." "Is a mountain bike bigger than a regular bike?" "And the fourth time I talked to her, she had her hair up, which I had never seen before." "And it looked great." "She had so many great looks." "The fifth time, Sam's car, short." "That was the first time I saw her knee."