"10 beauties of Paris" "Oh, look!" "..." "Madame has lost her dress!" "Madame has lost her dress..." "Madame has lost her dress..." "Woops." "Stepping in front of the car her dress caught." "I only wish that I was Madame's escort." "Madame has lost her dress..." "Madame has lost her dress..." "Her breasts, her knees that all work seize ..." "Madame has lost her dress!" "Madame has lost her dress..." "Madame has lost her dress?" "Radio to transatlantic shipping!" "Let London know that things are simply ripping!" "And this is what we're shouting for..." "Madame has lost her dress!" "Madame has lost her dress!" "For what ?" "What's in it?" "Excuse me, please!" "Madame has lost her dress!" "Gerald!" "Aren't you going to do anything?" "Here?" "No, no." "I mean about discharging your chauffeur." "Oh, oh let me keep him." "I've let you keep your husband." "I haven't kept him." " What?" " He left this morning." "Forgood?" "!" "No, no, for the Olympic Games at Los Angeles." "He's in them, you know." "Haven't you ever heard of Steve Mathewson, the javelin thrower?" " Javelin thrower?" " Ah ha" "Do you mean those long murderess harpoon things?" "Claire, the moment you meet a man   right after you said "How do you do"   you should add..." "'My husband throws javelins'." "Tell me some more of his bad habits." "Well, he sings at annoying times and places..." "He even sings in bed!" "Ah, yes." "I have an uncle who does that." "Sings in bed?" "No, throws javelins." "In bed?" "No!" "He throws them in ..." "Oh... nevermind.." "Gerald." "Tonight my husband is away out on the Atlantic." "And we're ..." "I have got a surprise for you." "Oh, another?" "Tomorrow you're taking me away." "Oh, am I ?" "Where?" " Venice." " Venice?" "D... do you think that'll be safe?" "I hope not!" "I don't believe you want to go!" "Oh, Claire, 'cause I'm..." "And all of this evening you were complaining you've known me THIS long and nothing had happened." "Well, that was BJ." "BJ?" "Before javelins." "What about tickets?" "I've ordered them." "Well?" "Make up your mind!" "Do we go to Venice or don't we?" "You know, I can't help wishing that you... .. that you weren't married." "Well, you don't have to go, you know?" "Well, eh ..." "Ooh, Claire ..." ".. .and names you all despise   they dreamed of the numbers on one .  the murmur of the trees   says Eloise." "My girl   is named   Yvonne!" "That's swell!" "Have you also a pencil?" "I believe I can accomodate you" "Oh, Thank you" "Thank you." "Keep it, please" "Ehrm, I w...." "I will." "For my wife?" "Eh, bub ..." "Yes..." "Yes!" "I'm West of the American Express." "Where is that?" "Where is what?" ""West of the American Express"." "No, no, no." "No that's my name." "Bunny West of the American Express." "Oh, you'll pardon me, wont you?" "Yeah, yeah, certainly!" "What is this?" "Those are train tickets." "For my wife?" "Yes, I brought them over personally ..." "I am a friend of hers." "Really?" "You see, I know so few of my wife's friends..." "I'm away so much." "At TAC meets." "Oh well, then if she isn't here, I can call back another time." "I won't bother you with those tickets." "Not at all." "Well, so she got lonely without me and planned a little trip." "Evidently." "Are these paid for?" "No, they are not." "So perhaps I'd better..." "No, come right in, I will make you out a cheque." "No trouble at all." "Come on in." "We re .. we really don't need the money." "I realize that ... .. but you see, I always like to pay my debts on time." "My wife will certainly be surprised that I'm home." "Yes, she certainly will." "Yes, you see I .." "I sailed for America, but when I reached England, I..." "Oh my goodness, that'll have to be fixed." "But when I reached England I missed her so terribly   I flew right back." "Oh, isn't that nice!" "My, my!" "Don't you use large golf sticks!" "Oh no, those are javelins." "Those are what?" "Javelins." "You .. you know how to use them?" "Oh, yes..." "You run with them and then you hop up over a stick." "Isn't that right?" "No, no." "They're thrown, like a spear." "A spear?" "I didn't ..." "Ow ... sharp, isnt it?" "Didn't you ever go in for athletics?" "I used to jump at conclusions!" "Come on, let's go into the study." "I say, would you mind carrying that bag?" "No... no..." "If you let me have those tickets ...." "I can bring bring them back tomorrow, when your wife is in." "Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no ....!" "But ..." "Perhaps she won't even want them   now that you're home." "Why, the servants have left all the lights on." "Yes, looks like they have." "And I won't be a moment...." "I'll slip into something else." "And ... you make yourself comfortable." "Is this yours?" "No ..." "No ..." "Why, Steve!" "Where is your dress?" "Dress?" "Ah, I threw it away, it was all in strips." "What!" "What happened?" "It was pulled of me in the car." "O darling, I want you to meet Mr. Gerald Gray, ... a very old friend." "I've spoken of him often, remember?" "No." "Oh, of course, he... ehrm" "Did he?" "Was he the one who?" "No, no, no!" "..." "It was the chauffeur." "The chauffeur?" "Yes, ehrm, you see... ehrm" "I got my dress caught in the door of the car ... and, ehrm" "The chauffeur closed the door too soon." "It was just an accident." "Accident!" "Bunny, have you got a cigarette?" "I don't want to interrupt your train of thoughts, but ..." "When you throw that ... with this ..." "Do you go in for accuracy or distance?" "Both!" "Both." "Let me get a good look at you!" "Do you want me to turn for you?" "Suppose I started ripping your clothes off!" "Oh, I'm afraid you'd be disappointed." "Oh, by the way   he brought some railroad tickets for you!" "Oh, oh ... here we go." "Oh, did he?" "Yes, yes, apparently you were planning a little trip." "Had you forgotten?" "No, no, I..." "I say, would you mind holding that for a moment?" "Better!" "Yes ..." "Oh oh, can I open that for you?" "Can I help out?" "No." "No thanks." "Where were you going anyway?" "Well, ehrm, I was g..." "Well, Venice!" "Yes!" "Two compartments, one for a gentleman." "Very interesting!" "Mr. West," "Did she order these?" "I did." "You did?" "Yes." "I did." "Didn't I?" "Why, of course he did!" "Oh, and have I balled things up!" "Do you know what I did?" "I delivered Gerald's two tickets over here, and I must have sent Claire's one ticket over to Gerald." "Wasn't that silly!" "It must be at your place now, Gerald." "I sent it special delivery." "What is all this?" "Well, it's simple." "Those two tickets are for Gerald... and his wife." "His wife?" "Yes, my wife." "Ah, and is she gorgious!" "Gerald is simply crazy about her, isn't that right, Gerald, eh?" "Oh my, my ..." "Really .. when she walks down the street   her torso almost talks." "You don't know her, do you, Claire?" "Oh, no!" "Only from what I've heard you men say." "But of course I hoped to see a lot of her in Venice." "She sounds very interesting." "I'd like to see her!" "Gerald, don't you think you better run along home?" "She may have sent some word about her arriving...." "Oh, she isn't here?" "Oh... no, no, no, no, no." "She's away, visiting her ... eh..." "Her mother." "Her aunt." " Her aunt!" " Her mother..." "Both her aunt and her mother." "They are sisters." "Yes, I see." "Well, I guess everything's quite clear now, huh?" "We'll be bouncing along..." "I'll send that ticket over to you in the morning, Claire." "Add one for me." "Oh... oh, you're going too, eh?" "Yes, yes." "Now that I'm home," "Claire wouldn't think of going to Venice without me.... ... would you, dear?" "No, darling!" "Oh, Bunny." "Won't you come along?" "Oh, no, no, no..." "I think that right now Venice would be just a little warm." "Well, goodbye." "Good bye." "Gorgious girl!" "Wife!" "What bright ideas you do have." "Yes, don't I?" "Yes, I'm working on an idea of my own now." "Yes, I'm going to tear you down ... .. and put an office building where you now stand." "Oh, I mean it!" "I know my heart keeps my hands of your hat." "What's the matter with you?" "You take out another man's wife ... .. .and tear her clothes off on the way to the theater." "Now really, old man ..." "I've heard of doing that .... ... coming home from the theater." "It was an accident!" "You're becoming a regular Jack the Ripper." "Will you stop or...!" "And how am I going to find a wife with a talking torso   by tomorrow afternoon?" "Well, I don't know." "I have got a secretary with a creaking knee ..." "And if I don't find her   Steve is apt to pierce me with one of his javelins." " Yes" "Yes?" " No, no, I mean... .. you'll pick up one somewhere." "You thought of her and you will find her!" "Wouldn't you like this big one?" "Mademoiselle!" "Mademoiselle!" "What are you doing on this bed?" "I ..." "I'm waiting for a director." "What?" "Oh, eh, .." "I fell asleep." "An actress, eh?" "Yes, sir." "Do you know this is a prop?" "Likely to be used at any minute?" "I am sorry." "I've been up since early this morning." "On your way!" "This man will pay 2000 francs a week and all living expenses." "And new clothes." "But I don't want to go to Venice." "You'd pass up a job like this?" "2000 francs a week and all expenses?" "Who do you think you are?" "I'm just a young girl, living by her hips." "You'll take it" "The man's waiting outside the state." "Talk to him as soon as you get your clothes on!" "That's order!" "But I can not go to Venice." "Not for 2000 francs a week?" "No" "I would go to Siberia for less." "My boyfriend is a prizefighter." "If he caught me vacationing in Venice with a strange man  I'd get the slapping down of the century." "You are looking for a job," "Why don't you take it?" "I'd love to!" "Come in here." "Come with me, will you?" "Ah Sparks, Mr. Gray in?" "Yes, sir." "Oh, fine, fine." "Ah, monsieur, **, c'est formidable ça!" "Yes, Yes, certainly." "They are putting in another bathroom." "Come on in, make yourself perfectly at home." "The ... ah, there you are!" "You can park yourself there for a moment." "I ..." "I'll see if Mr...." "Keep quiet, please." "The guy must be using a mallet." "Do you mind stopping the Woodpecker-impersonation for a minute?" "Holy smoke!" "What's the idea?" "She'll never do!" "What do you mean?" "Why do you say that?" "What's the matter ...?" "You told me to get someone." "I wanted to..." "Okay, you wait." "I'll show you." "Well, it certainly fixed that." "Wouldn't you, ehrm...?" "Get her up!" "How about putting the feet up?" "Oh no, thank you." "No?" "What are you doing?" "I'm just testing the reflexes." "Up!" "My, my, my!" "What is that?" "What's what?" "Well, what is that, chewing gum on your shoe there?" "Where?" "Well, right there." "There is a chewing gum on the bottom of your shoe there." "Look at that!" "I can't see it." "Well, there certainly is, look at that!" "I'll leave it to ..." "Oh!" "Oh, the poor workman!" "Are you all right, miss?" "Yes, yes, it was the workman who fell!" "Oh." "But, can I get you anything?" "Have you any sandwich?" "A sandwich?" "I'll make one." "How is the workman?" "Why, he .. eh ... buh." "He passed out." "He's out." "Dead?" "No, no, no, no, no!" "Just out." "But what happened?" "What with him fall?" "Why ...eh ...ehm." "Legs!" "Legs?" "Oh, too bad!" "No, too good!" "Will you have a cigarette, Miss ...?" "No thank you." "You know it's funny, I have forgotten her name." "Chou-Chou." "How, Choo-choo?" "No, it spells CHOU-CHOU" "Yes, "choo-choo"" ""Chou-chou"" "That's right, I've got to remember that." "It is awfully cute, Choo-choo." "Playing trains?" "Chou-chou is the lady's name." "Yes, I mean "little cabbage"." "Very appropriate." "Of course I won't say anything about her knowing her onions..." "No, I wouldn't." "Because if you did I should have to ask you to leave the room." "As it is, I think you better leave anyhow." "Yeah, right, okay." "Well, don't do anything I'd do." "Won't you sit down?" "Thank you." "Well, Miss Chou-chou..." "Has Mr. West made it clear to you why I require your services?" "Yes, you need a wife." "In a hurry." "Exactly" "A wife with a torso that talks." "Does your torso talk?" "Pardon?" "Yes, quite." "A wife who is ardent, gay, temperamental, affectionate..." "Oh, very affectionate....." "So affectionate that no one could possibly suspect me of   looking at another man's wife." "Do you think you can be that?" "Well, I try ...." "If I engage you, we will take the Venice train tonight." "We will have connecting compartments." "With the door locked?" "With the door locked." "In Venice we'll have connecting rooms." "With the door locked?" "Oh, and bolted!" "Please get that straight!" "Why, you think I ..." "I unlock your door?" "Ehrm ..." "No." "Well, now, when we are alone, you will pay no attention to me." "Yes, I understand." "But when anyone is around, you will be very affectionate." "I do my best." "Well, you know just what to expect and just what not to expect." "And if I get more than I expect," "I go home." "My dear girl, no one is forcing you to take this job." "In fact, the more I look at you, the more I fear   you are not fitted for it." "Monsieur!" "Why not?" "Well, your clothes ... your clothes have no zip, you know" "Oh, you want me to have a dress with a zipper?" "No." "I mean, they have no snap, no style, no .. no chic." "And your manners." "Your manners are too ... sunday school-ish." "You see, i want someone more weekendy, more spectacular." "I am sorry." "I'm afraid you just won't do." "But Monsieur, I must do, all that nice Italian food ..." "I ..." "I am so sorry..." "I ..." "What is that?" "It is a sandwich." "take it away, I don't want it." "Yes, but it is that young ..." "Take it away and then come back   and show this young lady out." "May I have a cigarette?" "Surely." "Thank you." "Now, if you'll excuse me ..." "I'll, eh..." "Hey!" "What's your hurry, boyfriend?" "What's that?" "I said, what's your hurry, boyfriend?" "You want someone spectacular, huh?" "Oh, and I think how I fool you!" "Shall I show the lady out, sir?" "Shall he?" "No..." "Not yet." "That'll be all." "Yes sir." "When I came here, I thought you want a respectable wife." "All right, now I give you what YOU want." "Enough spectacular?" "Quite." "Well, Gerry, how are you doing?" "Well, where is she?" "You're doing all right!" "Allo!" "Allo, Madame Toufar." "I need some clothes in a hurry." "Oh, hold the phone, please!" "Pardon me." "How much clothes can I buy?" "Buy enough." "You see, she ... what happened was that ..." "I know, I know." "It was an accident." "Yes." "She caught her clothes in the door." "You were right, sir." "I only put in one pair of pajamas." "Did you forget the books?" "Oh, I'll see, sir!" "All right." "Gerald, darling!" "Oh, Claire, ehr.." "Where is your husband?" "You know..." "I'm sure he hasn't swallowed that wife-story." "He has been too sweet to me all day." "And the last time he was like that, I got a black eye." "Oh, the br..." "I'm so sorry." "Oh, did you find a wife?" "Ehrm, yes, well, Bunny is outside watching for her now." "You see, we had to let her go and do a little shopping, because   well, when we found her ... .. she ... hadn't any clothes!" "Oh, I mean ... clo .... well." "Please..." "Oh, I'm .." "I'm, so sorry, miss!" "We have the books, sir." "Gerald, I thought you were going to get rid of that man!" "Oh, I will, Claire, I will." "Really." " Chocolat?" " No, merci." "They are closing the gates, isn't she here?" "Bunny, she must have taken the money and skipped." "No..." "She must have!" "En voiture!" "Hello!" "Was thee afraid I'd miss the train, my poor dah-ling?" "And my furry Bunny?" "I knew you'd show up, but what detained you?" "Where were you?" "Oh, I will tell you .." "I went shopping ..." "I bought lot of things." "... bought shoes and ..." "Ah, yes, this is ... this is, ehm ..." "His wife." "My wife." "This is Mr. and Mrs. Mathewson   going to Venice too." " How do you do?" " How do you do?" "Well, congratulations!" "Thank you." "Come, come!" "I said 'en voiture'..." "Pardon me!" "Well, congratulations!" "Where did you and Mrs. Gray first meet?" "Well ..." "In Cincinnati." "Where?" "Cincinnati." "Oh, and how long have you been married?" "Well, how long have we...." "Fo .. for five years!" "Five years, huh?" "Oh, Bunny, I'm simply starved!" "Well, there is a .. there's a dining car right here." "Thank you." "Well, goodbye, Bunny." "And I will miss you very much, my pet!" "And I'll miss you too!" "Oh, goodbye." "Don't forget the little cabbage, my little rabbit." "No?" "Gerald, I don't like that woman!" "Don't you worry, I think perhaps ..." "I don't like that woman!" "Oh, you don't like that woman...." "Well..." "Well, goodbye, Bunny, old man." "I'm going with you." "No!" "You can't do that, old boy." "Well, why not?" "There is an upper in your compartment." "I know, but my man only packed one pair of pajamas, you see" "Well, then I'll tell you." "I take the upper and the pajama coat, and you can have the lower with the pants." "No, no, because I do not want you with me ..." "Mr?" "Dinner." "Again?" "Yes, Yes." "Whole dinner?" "The whole dinner!" "Yes, monsieur..." "Well, I suppose we'll have to sit together." "Yes, I suppose so..." "Let's see, where was it you first met your husband?" "Well, I was ..." "I was living..." "Cin..." "Cin..." "I was living in SIN." "...natti." "I was naughty." "And eh, how long have you been married?" "Oh well I ..." "I been ... ehm ..." "Five..." "Five months?" "Years!" "Five years!" "Aha!" "You all forgot Bunny." "But Bunny never forgets." "For me?" "None other?" "Don't you know what day this is?" "No." "It's your wedding anniversary!" "Really?" "Really, Mr. West?" "And how long ago were they married?" "Oh!" "Well, now, let me think..." "It.." "I .." "Isn't that funny..." "It was, ehrm ..." "Ehrm ... it ... it ..." "It was, ehrm ..." "I .. it ..." "Five years!" "I hope they have a room for me." "I'd hate to sleep in the streets in this town." "Oh, Bunny ...." "Very nice." "It has a double bed." "Thank you." "Some married people like one bedroom." "Some like two." "Does Signor like one?" "No, two, please." "Luggage will be right up." "Good." "Ehrm .. have you any preference?" "Preference?" "Oh, I mean do you like that room   or this one." "Oh, anyone. .." "Oh ..eh ..." "This one." "Ah." "Well?" "One bedroom, sir?" "Or both?" "Both, idiot!" "Right, sir." "Those are mine and mine go in here." "Oh, excuse me, sir." "All those go in there, please." "The rooms are ready." "Well .. if you ... if you want to turn in..." "Thank you." "Are you crying?" "No." "There is nothing to cry about, you know." "I don't like this any more than you do." "Probably less." "You act as though I were trying to ..." "Well, if you feel that way about it ..." "Why did you come in the first place?" "Of course it would be different if you were different." "I mean a girl like you ..." "A girl like me?" "Why, I ...!" "Listen." "A spectacular girl like me never cries." "She laughs!" "Oh, I'm sorry." "For a moment I was quite taken in." "It's the moonlight on you   and the Venitian sky behind you   the gondoliers singing." "You seemed like an entirely different kind of girl   for a moment." " Goodnight." " Goodnight." "Oh ..." "It occured to me that for appearances sake we'd better ..." "I see!" "You don't suppose that I would..." "Goodnight!" " Goodnight!" " Goodnight!" "Good morning, Sparks!" "Good Morning." "Will, eh ..." "Madame have breakfast on the balcony?" "Why ... ehrm ..." "One moment ..." "I will ask Mr. Gray." "Darling!" "Do you want to have breakfast on the balcony or in the room?" "All right." "We will have breakfast on the balcony." "Yes, madame." "Good morning, Sparks." "Good morning, Madame." "Ehrm ... is .. ehrm .." "Mr. Gray up yet?" "Yes madame." "And Mrs. Gray?" "Yes madame." "I just knocked on their door   and they told me to serve breakfast ..." "I understand." "You littering stupid!" "Good morning." "Good morning." "Breakfast is served." "So I've heard." "Did you sleep well?" "Divinely." "And you?" "Deplorably." "Your conscience, no doubt." "Not at all." "Those crooning gondoliers kept me awake." "You should have slept in my room." "I beg your pardon?" "I mean .. ehm, and I in yours." "My room is quieter." "Let me remind you that the familiarity which is necessary   when others are around ..." "Yes?" "... it's just as unpleasant to me as it is to you." "Yes." "So when we're alone, let's have none of it." "Do you understand?" "Yes." "Thank you." "Good morning, Madame!" "Good Morning." "Good morning, Claire." "Did you sleep well?" "Yes, I slept beautifully." "And you?" "Why ... ehrm ... no." "As a matter of fact, I didn't." "A lot of things kept me awake." "O really?" "What are you doing?" "Breathing." "Well, stop it!" "It sounds immoral." "Here." "Good morning, Monsieur." "Good Morning." "Well, well." "For heaven sakes, Claire   what's the matter?" "You look annoyed at something." "Gerald's valet nearly tore my negligé off." "He did?" "I'll teach him to do that!" "Darling!" "He might prefer to do it his own way!" "Her husband is watching." "Make love!" "Give me a big kiss, darling." "Come on." "Give a big big kiss, huh?" "What's the matter?" "As if you did not know!" "Oh, Madame ... how he kisses!" "You pardon me if I go a little to my room   but I must lie down!" "You make me dizzy!" "Oh, Claire, you don't really think that I ..." "So you made her dizzy, in broad daylight!" "Claire, I swear to you, she means nothing to me!" "Well, then prove it!" "How?" "Well, send her away!" "Well, how can I?" "I mean, what about Stephen?" "After what he's just seen, you needn't worry." "Send her away!" "Oh, how will it look?" " After all ..." " Send her away this minute!" "If she doesn't leave, I will!" "Yes?" "Would you mind coming out here a minute, please?" "Yes .. ehrm ... what I wanted to ... ehrm ..." "Please." "If you have come to make me dizzy again   I must refuse." "And if you will say that once more, I'll strangle you." "You know perfectly well I didn't make you dizzy!" "How do you know you didn't?" "Oh well ..." "Well, anyway ..." "I have the honor to inform you   that your presence here is no longer desired." "Please." "Will you say that again   with half so many words?" "Yes." "You're fired." "Suppose I tell you that   you hurt me quite a little when you say that ..." "I'm sorry." "It can't be helped." "Mr. Gerald, I have teased you out there." "I've been a little bad." "But it's just because I feel too good here in Venice." "With the sunshine, the music ..." "And all the beautiful things around." "Mr. Gerald, if I promise to be very nice ..." "No." "Why?" "Because I   I want you to go." "No, you do not!" "Is not you!" "It's that woman!" "And what she commands, you do   like ..." "like a puppy dog!" "You think I go because she says so?" "That ... that .." "*continues in french*" "And I shall be put out for this married hoosie?" "I refusal!" "I stay right here!" "And if she say no, I tell her husband everything!" "Everything!" "Oh, Mrs. Gray!" "I say, Mrs. Gray." "Oh, hello!" "Where is Mr. Gray?" "Oh, Gerald?" "He finds his own amusement." "I've been look at the Doges Palace all afternoon." "Really?" "It's very interesting." "Could I interest you in a drink?" "I let you try." "Good!" "Excuse me." "You know," "If I were her husband," "I wouldn't let you go wandering about alone." "You're much too attractive." "Do you always go where your wife goes?" "Well, she's different." "Signorina ..." "Vermouth, French." "Si, signorina." "Oh, and eh .. bring me another one, will you do." "Si, signor." "Why is she different?" "Who?" "Your wife." "I think she's very attractive." "Yes, so does your husband!" "What do you mean by that?" "Oh, now, come!" "Don't pretend you haven't noticed it too." "Well, I believe I don't want the vermouth after all." "Oh, please, please!" "I didn't mean anything wrong." "Only ..." "Only we would be blind not to see ... .. that your husband and my wife   are very interested in each other." "Oh, you are jealous!" "I was, until I saw you." "Now I think he's just a fool." "So do I!" "What I mean is ... eh ..." "What I mean, yes, what I mean is   that being the case .  we ought to console each other." "Mr. Mathewson..." "Won't you call me Steve?" "There is nothing to console." "And if there were   if there were, it would be thrilling to be consoled by you." "Oh!" "There is Gerald." "Hello, Gerald!" "Oh, I think I better go back to the hotel." "Perhaps I've gone too far this afternoon." " Goodbye." " Goodbye." "Great girl, your wife!" "Yes." "The sort of personality that eh ... holds one." "So I noticed." "Speaking of holding, if you must hold her hand," "I rather suggest that you might choose a less public place." "And ... a very good suggestion." "Furthermore, I'd rather you didn't hold his hand at all." "In fact, I forbid it." "Why?" "Did you say why?" "Yes." "Well, you never tell ME any funny stories." "I was just hoping you'd turn up." "Waiter!" "Waiter." "Yeah, we've got to do some serious thinking ... about how to get rid of Chou-Chou." "Get rid of her?" "Wh...?" "WE?" "Certainly WE." "You got me into this." "Well, what, what ... wh.. oh.." "Signori." "Wai.." "Wait a minute." "Don't rush this." "This eh .." "This problem is going to be very absorbing!" "What are you going to absorb?" "A Scotch, I think." "Yes, we'll start with that." "And bring the bottle." "Si, signori." "I ask you for your advice and all you can do is to tap bottles." "My friend." "And the first time I saw you   you were a little boy in ... in a sailor suit." "And I wish I'd never seen you." "I still love you." "I wish you love me." "All right." "I love you." "Nah, that's too casual." "Say it better than that!" "I love you." "No, no, no ..." "That's not sincere." "If you don't say it better than that ... .. I lie right down on this floor." "I love you." "That's my pal!" "Oh, Gerald, my old pal!" "Oh, Gerry ..." "I have got a swell idea ..." "I've got a swell idea, look ..." "Since Claire insists that you give Chou-Chou up   you get rid of her." "I'm going to fix it for you." "Am I a pal or am I a pal?" "I don't know which." "Look, tonight, Chou-Chou and I ... are going "gloating" in the "fondola"." "You're going what?" "Fl.. bloati ... gloating ..." "Flo ..." "Ff..." "I'm going to get her under my spell!" "No, you're not." "You know .. you don't have to do all that to save me." "Well, it's not ... it's not only saving you." "I think maybe I like it." "I ..." "I won't let you." "I say NO!" "But Claire says yes." "And you have no right to say no." "You have no claim on her." "None whatever." "Nevertheless ..." "I say NO!" "You're awful doggish in the mange-erish." "And if you don't keep away from her," "I am liabel to break some of your most important bones." "Understand?" "All right." "Seems to think he is 'The Menace of Venice'." "Good Evening." "Good Evening." "Going out?" "Yes." "You object?" "Object?" "Huh." "Not at all, eh ..." "Then would you mind put out the mirland here?" "I suppose it's part of the world's work." "I don't suppose you care to tell me   with ... with whom you're going out." "But of course." "If you are interested." "Oh, well, I'm not." "Oh, Please!" "Will you stop to make me tickle!" "What were you doing with Steve all afternoon?" "He was giving me a lesson in the garden." "What kind of a lesson?" "He was teaching me how to throw the javelin." "What, do you want me to be with Steve?" "My dear, I haven't the slightest objection." "You see, it will leave you free to be with 'Madame Steve'." "As a matter of fact, I haven't been with 'Madame Steve'." "I have not seen her the whole afternoon." "Excuse me, I'll go and see what that is." "I'm ready, Bunny." "It won't be a minute." "What do you want?" "Chou-Chou." "Well you can not have it, you little bounder!" "Oh ..." "Did you notice that I was bounding?" "Well, heh ... you're bounding too, the whole room is bounding." "You just bound right out of here and stay out!" "No, no, I have a different appointment with Chou-Chou." "I w..." "I'm going to "gloat" with her in the "fondola"." "Well, it isn't her day for gloating, so you .... ... just get out and "gloat" for yourself." "Have fun too, if you want it..." "What have you done with my rabbit?" "I've put him out." "Why?" "I'm going in the gondola with him!" "No, you're not." "Why not?" "Because he's drunk." "Besides, you're not falling in love .... ... with that blithering idiot, are you?" "Don't do that!" "Don't you like my perfume?" "No, it's demoralizing." "It's called in french 'L'Amour Grisant'  that means in English , 'Intoxicating Love'." "I don't doubt it." "And furthermore I have this to say ..." "You are temporarily bearing my name." "So I will not have you want gadding around Venice   with drunken companions." "Not even in a gondola?" "No!" "But I've never been in a gondola at night." "You wouldn't like it." "Of course I would." "No, you wouldn't." "Well, not with Bunny ..." "Oh, it looks so beautiful!" "And in each gondola, close together   two lovers." "What are they singing?" "I know that song in English." "I'll tell you the words." "Through moonlit mystery   your eyes are telling me   this is the night I've waited for." "This is the night I hear ... the story eternal." "Tonight we can't conceal   the ecstasy we feel." "Though at the dawn   romance will be gone." "Tonight is ours ..." "This is the night." "This is the night." "Let me go." "Why should I?" "Because... you..." "You don't understand." "Yes I do!" "Oh no, let me go!" "Chou-Chou!" "Gerald." "Listen just a moment." "What would you say if I tell you that I am very respectable?" "I'm afraid I should laugh." "Oh, let me go!" "If you touch me again I'll scream   until the whole hotel comes here." "You needn't." "I am sorry." "I shouldn't have done that." "I don't blame you." "I won't annoy you again." "I should never have come in the first place." "I should have gone when you asked me to." "I'll go in the morning." "Where are you going now?" "Downstairs." "Bunny is waiting." "Let him wait!" "You go to your room." "Even you have no right ..." "Please!" "I'd rather you did." "Tonight I am responsible for you." "Tomorrow you may do as you like." "We ... we ... we won't need any luggage." "What are you doing here?" "I've got a ladder outside of the window." "It's an old Italian custom." "But you have no right to be here." "Get out!" "No .." "No, no, no ... we're both ... we're both going out." "We're ... we're going out in a gondola." "You and I." "And we're going to float." "Oh, how are we going to float!" "Come on, come on, come on!" "We've got to get going, I ...." "I've got to get a gondola." "It is easy." "All you got to do is go down the ladder." "And we won't let Gerry ... hear anything." "Come on!" "Oh, you too!" "Let me go!" "I'm tired of both of you!" "All of you!" "I'm going home." "I'm not spectacular." "I don't want to be spectacular!" "I'm not Chou anymore!" "I am myself!" "Oh, eh ... come, come .. eh ... come in, yes..." "Where is she?" "Why, she's gone to bed." "Where is your husband?" "Oh, he's dressing for dinner." "When is she leaving?" "Why, I don't know." "Do you know that she had Steve out all afternoon?" "Yes, she told me." "But I don't suppose there's anything in that, do you?" "Oh, you don't?" "Well I do." "Why wouldn't she?" "He is young, handsome, has money." "I'm not going to let that girl take him away from me!" "Oh, well!" "I'm glad that's settled!" "What?" "Oh ..." "Oh well, you and I were never really serious about eachother." "No, you weren't ... only I" "Well I like that!" "You haven't even looked at me   since that common little creature came into our lives." "As a matter of fact," "I think you're falling in love with her yourself." "Do .. don't be ridiculous!" "Well, you are!" "Well, if I were, which I'm not   it's nothing to you, is it?" "No!" "All right, then!" "You may not know it   but you're falling in love with your husband all over again." "And what's that to you?" "Nothing." "And you can tell that him that I took the job   only because I was hungry." "I leave all the clothes and imitation jewelry ..." "I only keep enough money to pay my ticket back to Paris." "Now please go, because I have to change my dress, Bunny." "All right." "I'll tell him." "I'm .." "I'm going down the ladder." "Goodbye." "Goodbye, Bunny." "You have been very nice." "Oh, that's all right." "Chou-Chou!" "What's the matter?" "What was that noise?" "Nothing." "I didn't hear any noise ..." "I say, are you all right?" "Oh, I beg your pardon, but there was someone on the balcony   I thought it might be a burglar." "Who's in there with you?" "No one, I'm alone!" "Chou-chou, should not have said that." "Open this door or I'll break it down!" "Another javelin lesson, I suppose." "Well!" "This is charming!" "Are you insinuating?" "Oh, no!" "But perhaps I'm intruding!" "I came in because there was a burglar here." "Oh, a burglar!" "A burglar?" "A burglar." "Now wait a minute." "Let me tell you something." "You're doing your wife a great injustice." "She's not my wife." "Gerald!" "I'm sorry, Claire, but I'm very tired." "I am very tired ..." "of all this deception." "Now let me tell you something." "You needn't bother." "You didn't fool me for a moment." "All right?" "Hmm." "I tried using this young woman   to fool you." "Well, she fooled me, also." "Separate rooms, locked doors, all that rot." "The doors were always locked   but the windows, apparently, were open   to anyone   at anytime!" "Well, I assure you, if you think that I came in here to..." "Oh, my dear friend, do not bother   know that I owe you an apology   and I do, I apologize   abjectly." "Now, if you can square yourself with Claire   just let ..." "let it all end quietly, without any more noise." "... please   for the third time!" "..." "Come in!" "Come in!" "Pardon me, sir." "Can you come out a minute?" "It's very important." "Sparks!" "The police, sir." "It's about Mr. West!" "I told ..." "Bunny!" "What's happened?" "* speaks in italian *" "I'm very sorry, but do not understand a word you're saying." "Bunny, what is the matter?" "Well, I ..." "I ..." "I can't talk." "Every time I try, these guys shake the life out of me .... * speak in italian *" "I'm very sorry, but I don't understand any better   because you talk faster." "No, no, no, no!" "I did not!" "Well ... well, maybe I did, I'd ..." "And another thing!" "I want..." "Silencio!" "See what you can do." "Yes sir." "Ah, see!" "No speak English..." "Why, Bunny!" "Have you been arrested?" "Oh, you look terrible!" "Has he broken a law?" "Silencio!" "No, I ... (In italian:) Why are you abusing my friend?" "(In italian:) Ah, you speak Italian!" "Well, it seems that saw West jump from Chou-Chou's balcony   and thought he was a burglar." "(In italian:) He is a lover." "(In italian:) He is a lover!" "Viva I'amore!" "(In italian:) The lover!" "*continue in Italian*" "(In italian:) Apologies, mister!" "(In italian:) Apologies!" "(In italian:) A thousand apologies!" "Lock all the doors and bolt the windows   I've had all I can stand of the b .." "'Scuse Brothers'." "I owe you another apology." "Steve!" "Oh, Steve!" "Trying to break up my home!" "Give it back to her, idiot!" "Madame has lost her dress!" "You ..." "What were you doing on her balcony?" "Now, please, now wait a  I've been through enough for tonight." "Will you answer me or must I throw you back into the canal?" "All right, I will answer you." "Not because I'm afraid, mind you." "You can't intimidate an old canal man like me." "But the point is you've got everything all wrong." "You're got this girl all wrong." "In fact, you've got the wrong girl." "Chou-Chou is perfectly nice and respectable." "And furthermore, Chou-Chou isn't Chou-Chou at all." "What?" "Can't you hear me, or am I dripping too loud?" "She took this job in place of another girl   because she was hungry." "And after the way you treated her tonight   she prefers to starve." "She took only enough money to pay her railroad fare." "You .. you .. you mean she's gone?" "Yes." "Oh, where?" "Back to Paris." "Chou-Chou!" "Chou-Chou!" "The night is here ..." "The stars appear ..." "The world in tune   and you are near!" "But I wonder ..." "If I was intended   to be part of anything   so splendid." "It can not be reality ..." "Have you seen Mrs. Gray?" "Si, Signor." "She just left for the station." "I'll follow her on this gondola." "Si, Signor." "Giovanni!" "Can I get you something, sir?" "Yes, get me some d-d-d-dry ...." "Clothes, sir?" "No ... d-d-d-dry champagne." "Yes sir." "Presto!" "Chou-Chou..." "I followed you here because I had to see you again." "... and because I want you to come back with me   and marry me." "Will you do it?" "Will you?"