"On The Dukes, a Carnival of Thrills invades Hazzard County." "Which is nothing new to the Dukes." "You're just lucky that we're in Uncle Jesse's house." "We can always step outside." "We need a top stunt driver to make a 32-car jump." "Judgment day is nigh." "This here's a love story." "Love between men and women, and men and cars." "It takes place in Hazzard County." "I just can't wait to get there." "I just love these automobile thrill shows." "I don't see why we're wasting our money to go over there... when we got Bo here to put on a show of his own." "Welcome to the Carnival of Thrills." "It's a little daredevil show that hits a lot of small towns in the South... and draws a lot of local lead-foots like bees to honey." "And this here is the little honey that runs the show." "Ladies and gentlemen, in just a few moments... the Carnival of Thrills will present its most death-defying attraction." "The crowd sounds like they're really with you today." "You're gonna be dynamite." "All right, everybody, clear the track." "I don't want anybody to get hurt." "Can we move in here?" "Just enough for four people." " Thank you so much." " Thanks a lot." "And now, the Carnival of Thrills presents... the main attraction of this afternoon's performance." "A death-defying leap... over 32 parked vehicles in the center of the arena." "I'd like to present the star of our show:" "Mr. Bob Dexter!" "Let's hear it for him, folks!" " How do you feel?" " Great." "I feel great." "Well, go to it, boy." "How about a little kiss for good luck?" "That's the best part about this job." "Getting that kind of attention from the owner." "Now that's what I call enough inspiration... to make a man able to jump clear out of this arena." "And this is it folks, the moment you've all been waiting for." "Some of you lady folks out there are too scared to watch." "Better hide your eyes on your boyfriend's shoulder till it's all over." "You ready, Bob?" "This one will make your hair stand right up on end." "Settle back, keep your fingers crossed... and your eyes glued to this sight." "He moves in, powerful." "Take it easy." "They'll take care of it." "We'll have everything under control in just a few moments." "He's getting out of the passenger side of the car." "Bob's okay." " Is he going to be all right?" " Yeah." "Ladies and gentlemen, I'm happy to say things aren't as bad as they looked." "Bob will be just fine." "Thank you." " What went wrong?" " He lost his nerve at the last second." "Carl, every stunt driver isn't like you." "Forget about the past and start worrying about the future." "Where are we gonna find another sucker... to make the Leap for Life when we get to Hazzard?" "That's not till next week." "Believe me, I'll find some local country boy begging for the chance by then." "Life in Hazzard ain't all chasing cars and women." "Running a farm is a lot of hard work." "But they do take a few breaks." "Hey, Bo, who's that?" "Hi, fellas." "You reckon she chased us all the way from Cedar City?" "I told you we should've paid for them tickets instead of jumping the fence." "Hey there, little lady." "How're you doing?" "Looks like pretty hard work." "Yeah, but it's worth it." "You'd be surprised at how many pretty ladies we meet this way." "Thanks." "I'm looking for the owner of the local fairgrounds..." "Mr. J.D. Hogg." "You know where I can find him?" "If he ain't out foreclosing some poor widow's mortgage... or shortchanging the customers down at the bank... you'll probably find him over at the Boars Nest... skimming the take and watering down the liquor." "You can't miss it." "You go down here to Highway 7... and you take yourself a left, and it's the first Boars Nest on the right." " There you go." " Thanks." "Hope I see you again sometime." "Hope you see me again sometime, too." "Bye-bye." "Take it easy now." "Cousin, that is one pretty lady." "I know just what you're thinking." "Stop your daydreaming and let's get back to work." "All right, let's see now." "Two days rental of my fairgrounds... at $525 a day... and your carnival permit, and your county license fee... and your interest, and your sales tax... and your etcetera, and your etcetera." "And it comes to a grand total of $3,797.53." "Here." "Just like I said." "I'm proud of you." "I hope you don't mind taking a postdated check, Mr. Hogg." "Are you kidding, lady?" "The Boss taking a postdated check?" "That's about as likely as a pig laying eggs." "Rosco, you hush, now, will you?" "It was nothing personal." "Miss Benson, I ordinarily don't accept postdated checks... but I'll tell you what I will do." "I will take a promissory note... for your rental on the fairgrounds... payable in full, on the last performance." "How about that?" "Well, now, what have we got to lose?" "Yeah." "Just sign right there on the dotted line." "Yeah." "Just sign right there on that dotted line." " You're very understanding, Mr. Hogg." " Thank you." "We'll see you after the show on Saturday." " That's a good idea." " Thank you." "Nice to have met you all." " So long." " Bye now." "Have a good show." "Have a nice one." " Boss, can I ask you something?" " Yeah, what?" "Why would you extend credit to those carnival people... when you know they ain't got a dime in their jeans?" "All right." "I'll tell you." "Because that's the best time to extend credit to anybody." "You see something?" "That lady ain't never gonna sell enough tickets... to pay the rent on the fairgrounds... what with her star attraction laid up in the hospital back in Cedar City." "You see, that promissory note she signed... pledges all the show's property as collateral." "And if she can't pay the rent... all I gotta do is foreclose, and the whole shebang... the whole Carnival of Thrills is mine for five cents on the dollar." "Subject left the office of County Commissioner J.D. Hogg... at precisely 5:00 p.m." "Continuing surveillance." "J.D. Hogg's Carnival of Thrills." "I'll be the talk of show biz." "Have my picture plastered all over the place." "Plastered." "Of course I will have to take off a pound or two... slim down for my TV image." "Boss, I don't think you have to worry about that... because your TV image will fit on any TV set in Hazzard County... as long as it's an extra-wide set." "All right, Rosco, on your way out, give this bottle to the bartender... and tell him to sell it to one of the customers." "And tell him to do it quick, before it loses its fizz." "Because we don't want to cheat nobody, now, do we?" "No." "Good." "The fizz." "Easy, now, take it easy with those cars." "Now that you have the fairgrounds, you have to find a sucker to fill in... for the Leap for Life." "I told you that won't be a problem." "Never is, is it?" "Make a play for some local yokel, draw the home crowd... flash those baby blues on him, tell him he's got charisma." "And before you know it, he'll be trying to jump 50 cars... he's so flipped out over me." "It worked on me, didn't it?" "After your daddy crashed, you inherited the show without a star attraction." "Took you three weeks to convince me I was the greatest thing on wheels." "It took you about that long to replace me after I crashed, didn't it?" "You never got over that, did you, Carl?" "It's kind of hard with this busted up knee of mine." "It's not my fault you weren't as good as you thought you were." "I'm still the best driver you've ever had." "Correction." "You were the best." "During the next few days half of Hazzard County... was covered with posters advertising the big race." "Easiest $100 we'll ever make." " Got it." " All right." "Diane knew that every lead-foot in Hazzard... would be itching to get his hands on that prize money." "And somewhere in that local talent... she just might find the driver she needed to get the show back on its feet again." "And one belt ought to do it." "Much obliged, Cooter." "Now, gentlemen, there is the small matter of the..." " The bill." " The bill." "Yeah, the bill." "Why don't we talk about it next month?" " That's what you said last month." " We are talking about it, ain't we?" "Got a customer." "Listen, darling, we've got to stop meeting like this." " People might start to talk." " They might." "Can I help?" "I was wondering if you'd hang these posters up in your garage." "You can hang anything you want to in my garage." "You boys figuring on entering the race?" "No, we're figuring on winning it." "So they can pay me the money they owe me for these parts." "Hold on!" "As a matter of fact, why don't you pay me and eliminate the middlemen." "You seem awfully confident." "Shoot fire, ma'am, you ain't seen these boys drive." "I'm looking forward to it." "See you at the fairgrounds." "You sure will." "Boss, you look like a steamed clam." "Better turn this heat down a little bit." "Where'd you get your brains, in a thrift shop?" "How do you expect me to lose the pounds I have to if you lower that temperature?" "That carnival, they're gonna have a road race for publicity." "And those Duke boys, they've entered it." "They might win, and if they do... half of Hazzard County will turn out to watch them pick up the prize money." "Then you better make sure they don't win, you hear me?" "You just stop them Duke boys, or else..." "I'll divorce your fat sister and make her move back in with you!" "You hear me now?" "Rosco, you cow chip..." "I said I wanted to sweat, not melt!" "And the next day... the cream of the Hazzard lead-foots were all bunched and ready." "All right." "You've all got your layouts of the course." "You start on the track, go once around the figure eight... out the stadium, to the marker, and back." "The winner will receive his prize money at the performance on Saturday." "Who knows?" "We might even throw in a little extra added bonus." "Like a full-time job with the show." "All right, fellas, hit those pedals." "Hey, Luke, Bo, you take it easy on these fellows." "I just might wanna date one someday." "Good luck, y'all." "Let's do it." "Not that you'll need it, but here's a little something for good luck." "You best make up your mind whether you're courting or driving... or it's liable to be embarrassing for the both of us." "All right, you all, let's clear the track now." "Clear the track on both sides." "Gentlemen, start your engines!" "Well, that's one out." "That's Tommy Lee." "He ain't lucky with women, either." "We've just found ourselves a new stunt driver." "Maybe." "Let's see how he finishes out this race." "He's catching them!" "Old Toby is really in trouble." "His daddy don't know he's got the car." "That's daddy's shirt, too." "Boss, this is Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane." "The pigeons just flew out of the nest." "Come back." "Pigeons?" "Well, you're just the cuckoo to run them down." "Over." "Don't worry, Boss, I'll be on them... like a vulture is on a worm." "You better fly, vulture, fly... or else you're gonna wind up a dead duck." "I told you I could pick them." "He's making a joke out of this race." "If he doesn't get a one-way ride to the county jail." "What's Rosco doing in there?" "Breaker, all racers." "Looks like we've picked up a fourth." "One Rosco P. Coltrane." "Let's split at the crossroads." "I doubt he can follow all of us at once." "Ten-four, Luke, we'll turn right here." "You don't do that, you rascals." "I am serious now." "You are messing with the man." "You boys might as well give up... 'cause I'm gonna stick to your tail like hot butter on a corncob." "That's the first bit of truth I've ever heard him say." "Let's see if he can jump over this." "Come on, Rosco." "When we get back, we'll see if old Rosco's had time to build a nest." "That smarts." "He's some driver, ain't he, Bo?" "You boys will shape up when I put you in the slammer for speeding." "Rosco, you're wrong again." "We are sitting on private property." "You can't ticket us here." "If you're dead set on arresting somebody, you ought to run yourself in." "You're trespassing on Jeb Tompkins' land." "He ain't never lost too much love for you." "Let's hit it." "Hazzard drivers may be crazy, but they are good sportsmen, too." "They gave Bo and Luke back the position they had before Rosco joined the race." "I told you my cousins were hot drivers." "I'll bet that's not all they're good at." "That was fantastic!" "I'm proud of you." "Give me a hug." " Congratulations." " It weren't nothing." "Now about that job with the show I mentioned." "We need a top stunt driver to make a 32-car jump." "32 cars?" "A man would have to be a dang fool... to even think about doing something like that." "Assuming he had something to think with in the first place." "Wait a minute, Luke, I think we can make it." "Don't you remember what happened to the guy who tried it over in Cedar City?" "You always let other people do your talking for you?" "No, ma'am." "You really think you're good enough to make that jump?" "With my eyes closed." "But my stunt-driving days are gonna end after you pay me that money on Saturday." "I see." "Well, why wait that long?" "Carl, why don't you pay this chicken off so he can get out of here." " My pleasure." " Hey, hold it." "Listen, wait a minute." "You sure are a pretty little lady... but I don't take kindly to being called a chicken by nobody." " Take it easy, Bo." " Who are you, his baby-sitter?" "I just thought that maybe for once I'd found myself a real man." "Lady, maybe for once, you have." "Carl, you just put that money away till after I've made that jump on Saturday." " Bo, you can't do that." " Something we'll have to find out, isn't it?" "Then maybe me and my little lady will have something nice to talk about." "Bye, now." "You know, I've been wondering when that fella was gonna show up again." "Meanwhile, Uncle Jesse spent all morning preparing the victory celebration." "Smell that." "That there is the best crawdad bisque I ever did make." "I'm liable to have to charge you $100 of your prize money just for a bowl." "You better pour it back in the pot, then." "My rich cousin turned down the prize money." "Why would you do a foolish thing like that?" "So he can do something more stupid on Saturday." "Like jumping over 32 parked cars." "How do you plan to do that?" "You gonna get an airplane... or are you just gonna let Maudine the mule kick you over?" "Look, with the right ramp, the General can do it with his eyes closed." "And, besides, Diane's gonna give me an extra $150." "So we have more to spend on your funeral." "Daisy, there ain't gonna be no funeral." "Besides, I ain't just doing it for the money, anyway." "Then it's gotta be that girl." "Bo Duke, I never thought I'd see you... running around, acting like a love-starved calf at feeding time." "Diane ain't got nothing to do with this." "Well, if it ain't money, and it ain't love... and the three of us know it ain't brains, why in the world are you doing it?" "You think it's funny, Luke?" "I'm doing it so you and me can build up a big enough reputation... to get on the NASCAR circuit, is all." "Just something we've been dreaming of since we was knee high to a grasshopper." "The boys on the NASCAR circuit are the safest, steadiest drivers in the world." "Now the last thing they want on that track with them... is some carnival hotshot with a lead foot and a brain to match." "Luke, you got no right..." "Just a minute, Bo!" "Sit down." "I don't allow no arguing at my table." "You just sit over there, Daisy." "Simmer down." "Dear Lord, we thank thee for this bounteous table..." "Who in the world would interrupt a man when he's talking to his Almighty?" "Amen." "Get that." "Yes, sir." "Drive you nuts." "Hope I'm not interrupting anything important." "No, ma'am, me and my family were just having a little friendly family discussion." "I just thought we should get our relationship... started off on the right foot as soon as possible." "Yes, sure thing, Diane." "Why don't you make that "partner."" "You think you could meet me here at my RV by 1:00 for lunch?" "1:00?" "Yeah." "If it's for business, I guess I have to be there." "I'll be looking forward to it." "And, Bo, if you get here a little bit early, don't bother to knock." "Your crawdads is getting cold." "Listen, Uncle Jesse, I gotta run." "Right now?" "After Uncle Jesse spent all morning cooking up these vittles for you?" "Daisy, I know." "Uncle Jesse, I wouldn't do nothing to hurt you, but this here is business." "Business?" "Since when have you been so all fired anxious to go to work?" "Just simmer down a little bit, Luke." "If Bo's got to go, and it's for business reasons... then he's got to go." "Go ahead." "This will keep." " Thanks a lot, Uncle Jesse." " Hey, Bo, take my Jeep." " What's wrong with General Lee?" " Nothing, I hope." "But if you're planning on jumping him over 32 parked cars..." "I'm gonna take him over to Cooter's and check the timing." "Thanks a lot, you all." "Bye-bye." "I'm gonna have him check my checking of the timing." "Then I'm gonna check his checking of my checking of the timing." "And I'm gonna check you both." " Bo?" " Yeah, it's me." "You told me not to knock, and I never disobey a direct order from the boss." "Good." "You can start by opening the champagne." "Champagne?" "We don't get much champagne in Hazzard." "Now get those wrecks parked all together." "I want plenty of room for those bikes to practice." "Here you go." "All right." " To the carnival." " And to us." "All right." "The show was still a few days away." "And the box office was humming and selling tickets... like it was to the Second Coming." "At the Boars Nest, old Boss Hogg was pulling out all stops." "And a few muscles, too... to improve the TVimage that he thought he'd be in need of." "Bad news, Boss, bad news." "Listen, I don't mean to interrupt your amphibious landing." "Rosco, I can't hear a word you're saying." "Come closer." "It's Bo Duke." "I can't hear you." "Stop whispering." "Speak up." "You know, he's gonna make that 32-car jump, Boss." "I know all about it." "Did you know that the tickets are selling like wildfire?" "Wildfire?" "You better put out that wildfire... before they sell enough tickets to pay the rent on the fairgrounds... and keep me from taking that show away from them." "I'll do that." "I'll get on it like a chicken on a worm sandwich." "Just one thing, Boss." "How am I supposed to do that?" "Use your brain, if you got one." "Bo Duke can't make that jump without that orange car of his." " The General Lee?" " Yeah, the General Lee." "So, steal it, wreck it, confiscate it." "Whatever." "You hit your head on my gun, didn't you, little buddy?" "Listen, I'm sorry about that." "I bet that smarts, don't it?" "What would you know about smarts?" "Just get that vehicle!" "Day or night, rain or shine... legal or otherwise." "Just get it, will you?" "I'll get it." "Listen, I'm sorry about that boo-boo up there." "It ain't nothing compared to the boo-boo I got for a sheriff." "Now get!" "I'm gone." "Land ho!" "Does that sound right to you?" "Couldn't have done it much better myself." "Hop in." " Hey, I got an idea." " What's that?" "Why don't you lay this old boy flat out and let's see what it'll do?" "Your wish is my dream." "There they go, and here I come." "Luke Duke, you ain't shaking me like that!" "All right, you boys in the General Lee, you just pull on over." "This is the law speaking." "I do believe I hear the golden tones of one Rosco P. Coltrane." "He picked the wrong day to play catch." "Friends, it looks like General Lee better be pulling some pretty slick maneuvers." "Look out!" "All right, I got you." "Rosco, correct me if I'm wrong... but ain't there some law against tailgating in this county?" "I was not tailgating." "What I was doing..." "I was in hot pursuit of two potential violators of the vehicular code." "We weren't even going 55." "That's right." "That's not what I'm getting you for." "You see, what I'm getting you for is a busted taillight." "Because anybody with a busted taillight... is definitely a hazard to any citizen in Hazzard County." "So I'm gonna have to impound this vehicle." "Rosco, that taillight ain't busted." "It is now!" "You've got to be out of your mind treating people's property like that." " We ain't no dogs!" "What do you think..." " Hold on a second, Cooter." "Don't you threaten me." "Yeah, get me off of him." "Settle down." "I'm surprised at you, talking back to Rosco like that." "He's got a point." "As long as he's got a busted taillight... the General is a hazard to public safety." "He ought to be impounded." " He should?" " He ought to." " Oh, yes." " But he busted it." " That's beside the point." " That's beside the point." "He's done everybody a big favor." "I'm much obliged, Rosco." "Thanks a lot." "Well, okay." "I'm gonna impound it, you know." "You mean, you don't..." "Listen, you're lucky you're needed." "I could throw you in the slammer." "What Luke didn't know... was that old Boss had other things in mind for the General." " That's a beautiful sight, ain't it, Rosco?" " Beautiful." "All them rolling eyesores on the way to recycling." "Why, the next time them Duke boys pop open a can of beer... the very can they are drinking out of might just be a reincarnation... of the right front fender of their car." "I love it." "Are you sure you want to do this, Mr. Hogg?" "There's nothing wrong with General Lee except a little old $2 taillight glass." "A broken taillight means a moving menace to the citizens of Hazzard County." "At least can't we make a little old phone call to Bo first?" "Will you get in that cab of that car carrier with Waldo?" "And I don't want to see hide or hair of you... till that orange clunker has been squashed small enough... to fit into that itty-bitty space between your ears." " Now, get!" " Yes, sir." " Bye." " There he goes." "All right." "You don't care much about expenses, do you?" "Using my best show car for your first trial practice?" "This here is the only one with as much horsepower as the General." "I'm gonna need it to make that jump." "I won't even scratch the paint." " In that case, be my guest." " All right." "Okay!" "Oh, boy!" "Sweetheart, I'm gonna need at least another 100 feet in front of that ramp... before I'm even gonna make that big jump with the General." "You sure you've never done any stunt driving before?" "Well, I've fooled around with cars a little bit." "You've got it down to a science." "I've never seen anyone take to this kind of thing so fast." "Cars ain't the only thing I take to quick." "Good." "I like that even better." "Incidentally, we've got an extra RV... in case you want to move a little closer to your work." "Sweetheart, I just might take you up on that." "I better go see how Cooter and Luke are doing on the General Lee... or I ain't never gonna get out of here." "Don't you think you're spreading it a little too thick?" "Hardly." "He's the best stunt driver we've ever come across." "Second best, maybe." "Present company included!" "If Bo works out like I think he will... we'll be a cinch to land the state-fair circuit... like my daddy always hoped we would." "Well, don't be taking that new kid too serious." "Carl, I'll take him as seriously as I have to." "We need a new star." "And Bo will do until someone better comes along... which I don't think is very likely to happen." "While Bo was heading for the garage to meet Luke and Cooter... the General was heading for the crusher." "And none of them boys knew a thing about it." "Hey, Bo, you're just in time for lunch." "Shoot, I'd love to, Daisy, but I already had a little something at the fairgrounds." "You're eating when you're supposed to be tuning up the General." "What's going on?" "We finished that a couple of hours ago." "According to these fellas, he's running better than ever." "All right." "I don't see him outside nowhere." "Where did you all put him?" "He had one small problem:" "That's a busted taillight." "And even though Rosco kicked it out himself... he saw fit to have the General towed off to the impound yard." "Knowing Rosco, it could be anywhere." "Shepherd to Lost Sheep." "Shepherd to Lost Sheep." "This is your Uncle Jesse." "You better be listening because judgment day is nigh." "You got your ears on?" "Crazy Cooter coming at you." "Which one of them sheep you want to talk at, Uncle Shepherd?" "Come on." "I'm looking for all of them." "A car carrier just passed me at Willow Creek Road." "And it was loaded with clunkers, including the General Lee... headed right for the junkyard." "And Enos was sitting up front with the driver, pleased as punch." "Enos makes it official." "Give me that." "We'll be right on it, Uncle Jesse." "They must be headed for the crusher." "I hope you're real proud of yourself." "The General's gonna get crushed... all because you want to keep me from making that jump." "Bo, you got it half right." "I admit I let the General be impounded to save your neck... but I only figured on letting him hold it till it's too late to make the jump." "I'll say amen to that, and you would, too, if you weren't so crazy in love." "Cooter, will you quit siding with him?" "Look, it don't do no good to argue." "We might still have time to stop them." "How?" "That car carrier is halfway to the crusher right now." "Now, we'll just take a shortcut." "Got a four-wheel drive here I just tuned up." "You drive it." "I'll ride shotgun." "Let's go." "Cooter, you always get shotgun." "That crusher has got almost as big an appetite as old Boss Hogg." "And I reckon General Lee is gonna wind up dessert." "Ain't it funny how you can get emotionally attached to a car?" "Hi, Luke!" "All right, hold on a second." "Here's the impound money." "Now, put that car down." "No way, Jose." "Boss Hogg's orders." "Wait a minute!" "Hey, hold it." "Wake up, Enos." "If this won't wake you up, nothing will, honey." "Eating time!" "Take a gander at that poster I got up there on the wall." "I had it redesigned." "See the fellow up at the top?" "That's gonna be the new me." "It is amazing, Boss... what dieting and will power will do for a man's body." "Yeah, will power." "One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten." "I hope you forgive me for counting a spell before doing my duty." "But it's the only way I could think of being loyal to my friends and my job both." "Thank you." "Sheriff, this is Deputy Strate at the crusher." "It's Enos." "Enos, do you know that it's chow time?" "Will you call back in about an hour, hour and a half?" "Over." "But, Sheriff, the Duke boys and Cooter just grabbed the General from the crusher." "From the crusher?" "Well, what are they gonna use it for now?" "An oversized paper weight?" "Oversized paper weight!" "I hate to disappoint you, Mr. Hogg... but last time I saw the General, it was flat getting it on all eight." "You mean they stole it right out of that junkyard?" "Not exactly." "They offered the impound fee... but that foreman just knocked it clean out of Luke's hand." "Good." "Without acceptance of the impound money... that car still belongs to Hazzard County." "Which means we got Bo and Luke Duke on the charge of grand theft auto!" "I love it." "I love it." "You hear that, Enos?" "Over and out!" " And out!" " And eating." " Oh, look at that." " No, Boss." "Naughty, naughty." "See, this one is mine." "See, this one is roast beef, chicken, salami... sardine, liverwurst, ham, lettuce, and tomato, avocado on sourdough." "This one is yours." "That one is lettuce." "Hold the roast beef, chicken, salami... sardine, liverwurst, ham, lettuce, tomato on sourdough." "From the sound of the General, she sounds all rescued and raring to go." "No thanks to Luke." "The General got impounded... and Luke here didn't lift a finger to help him out." "That may be so, but it seems to me that I was the one... who persuaded that crane operator not to turn the General into a doorstop." "Now, cool it, you two." "They've been carrying on like this ever since we left the crusher." "Whose fault is that?" "It was him who got us into all this mess because some lady made a pass at him." "I believe my cousin is just a little bit jealous." "'Cause, number one, he knows I'm the only one in this whole county... that can make that jump, including himself." "Also, he's a little bit upset... because that pretty little filly has fallen in love with me, and not him." "Now, look." "I can understand her falling in love with either one of you." "Any girl in Hazzard County would want to go out with either one of you." "And if I wasn't your cousin, I'd be right in there." "I'll be the first to admit that Bo here has a pretty face." "I just wish he had the brains to match." "Luke, what the heck is that supposed to mean?" "Bo, the lady's been around." "She's run into hundreds of guys." "Now, why is she making a play for a country boy like you... unless she got an angle." "Now, listen you two, I said cool it!" "No, Uncle Jesse, let him talk." "Listen, what makes you think I can't give her something she needs?" "Sure!" "An amateur driver to do a crazy stunt... that damn near killed the last guy." "Or ain't it ever occurred to you that she might be playing you for a sucker." "I don't have to take that from you or anybody." "You're just lucky that we're in Uncle Jesse's house, that's all." "You're unlucky, 'cause we can always step outside." "There's the door, cousin." "You go first." "Them two are big enough to hurt each other." "Now, boys!" "You just simmer down... before you do something you'll regret the rest of your lives." "Uncle Jesse, I ain't got no regrets about nothing." "Specially not this." "I sure wish we didn't have to stop here." "Now we're gonna have to wait for this feud to fester... before we're gonna see how it comes out." "Them Dukes!" "English"