"So, yeah, let's talk about this." "The fact that will's not here" "And I know you guys liked will and..." "I love him, still, but it was a long time coming" "And its over and this time it's for real." "Last night I finally did it." "I finally was honest" "And I'm sad and it was hard and it's been a hard time." "But now it's done and now I get to go and be myself." "I'm excited to be me." "I'm excited to be me without will." "I'm excited to live alone." "I'm excited to have my own food in the refrigerator." "I'm excited to come home" "And not know what the fuck I'm going to do that night." "I want to go out." "I want to go out with you guys." "I want to put on some make-up and some heels." "Me too!" "And I want to go flirt." "I don't want you to be there!" "He's pretty in make-up." "He's pretty in make-up." "I can put make up and heels on by myself," "In the privacy of my own home." "Like maybe even younger dudes." "Like seriously." "Like..." "What you trying to say?" "I want sex." "I want to be fucked." "I want to..." "So do I!" "That's the spirit." "I would love sex." "I'll give you sex once every 10 days." "You get 20 minutes of solid sex a month," "Followed up by a nice hour of excuses." "Not that I would object to it," "But remember last time when you broke up with kevin?" "Oh, kevin." "And dude, you went out with that 21-year-old tennis dude." "Do you regret that though?" "You don't regret that." "I'm just saying it made" "The whole process of the break-up last that much longer." "Just don't do it." "Oh, fuck off." "I don't agree." "I think you should go bananas." "You have like a small, little window" "Before you end up with the person" "You're probably going to, at our age, marry." "You know, and I just think you have this little time out" "Between will and whoever the guy's going to be" "And you should blow it out." "Because if I were you and I just got paroled," "I would be on every single website known to man," "Like, standing next to a horse" "Or a rented hot rod car with my top off." "I mean, you should-- there's a whole new world." "You should put, like, bikini shots out on facebook," "But organic, like, at a beach, not in front of your mirror," "Like "oh, you caught me at the beach,"" "Not like here leaning against my desk." "But" "Speak for yourself." "I just don't get" "Why being promiscuous and then getting married" "Are like the two beautiful options." "Yeah, preach it baby." "Listen, you may be reading my blog or not," "But the truth of the matter is I like only being with jess." "Yes, baby, yes, baby!" "I do!" "You're a liar!" "I'm not a liar!" "No, I really do." "I wouldn't even dream about having sex with anyone else." "But, hey, I like only being with annie." "I'm merely saying if you came to me in a time machine," "And said "hey, p.S., you're about to meet annie,"" "I would have maybe done everything shy of paying for it." "Just to make sure I got it all out of my system." "Do you realize I'm sitting right here?" "I can hear you!" "This face!" "I'm just saying that you're going to have" "The wonderful things that we have like, umm," "We do crossword puzzles together," "And stupid names that we call each other." "You are so bad." "No." "I wouldn't trade-- look, I'm saying, obviously," "I love you, what we have is perfect." "I wouldn't trade that for anything." "But..." "But..." "I'm just saying, since you're going to be there anyways," "Maybe just say push it and really go for it" "And then no regrets." "Wow, I just really want you guys to pay attention" "To my husband right now and watch him stutter" "And backtrack and use his hands" "To make everything a little bit better." ""I am just saying I think what you should really do is--"" "I wasn't signing to her." "I think you should go out and have a wonderful time." "Sweetie, I love your sister," "But what was with her and john tonight." "I mean, come on." "They were totally strange." "Yeah, no kidding." "I just mentioned the idea" "That people might be attracted to other people" "And then john was immediately like" ""I would never think about another woman."" ""I don't need" " I don't need another woman." "I am so happy."" "Honestly, I think that he feels like" "He hit the jackpot with jess, which he did," "And she finally got a guy that's never going to leave her," "Because why would he?" "And so they live in this little boat that they don't rock." "But would you want that?" "No!" "Would you trade our honesty for a level of security that's" "Absolutely not!" "I think what we have and our communication" "And the way we can talk about anything," "And not feel threatened or hurt," "I wouldn't trade that for the world." "I love it." "I would rather know that, look, you're a woman," "You have feelings, you have desires," "You have all these things, you're this huge package" "And then I happen to be lucky enough" "To be sharing that whole thing with you." "Oh, I love that." "You love that." "Mm-hmm." "Share my package." "I want you to share my package." "Are you going swimming?" "No." "I want to do an organic bikini shoot." "Some indoor organic" "Very, very natural, indoor organic beach shots" "In my bedroom, for my profile." "Okay." "I don't know if-- that's good." "I don't know if it's super organic, but that's a good one!" "Act like you think you lost your watch," "Maybe in the middle drawer." "Now you love your bikini but, you know," "You should always accessorize, even when you're in a bikini." "Ready?" "Okay, great, I like it." "Super sunny." "But now it got chilly, so you need a scarf." "Of course, obviously." "Uh-huh." "But now the wind's blowing pretty hard." "Maybe it would be a better babushka" "Than it would be a cover up." "I'm freezing." "Now wait, now I think you are taliban." "You look a little bit" "Wait, come here, sweetie." "Look at you as a taliban." "Let me see." "Right?" "It's beautiful." "We'll just photoshop some of that." "Delete that." "It's awful." "No, I want to save that one." "No, it's gone." "Oh, there we go." "I like sexy scarf woman." "What do you think?" "I mean, what do their profile pictures look like?" "What am I supposed to look like?" "I've not really gone surfing on there." "I just know that they put" "Hot pictures." "Like, sexy babushka pictures?" "I'm assuming they're in bikinis and stuff." "I love you, buddy." "I love you." "It's not really working for you, is it?" "What?" "No." "Oh my god, no." "Sweetie, I think you look so pretty." "I do." "I don't have, like, a bikini fantasy per se." "But, I'm up for it, I can go along with it." "Thank you." "No, I'm not trying to make you feel" "That's okay." "You sure?" "Yeah, I actually sort of pictured that all" "Being a lot sexier than it really was." "I think it is sexy." "Want to see yourself?" "I kind of just want to race." "Is that weird?" "Oh, you want to race?" "Mm-hmm." "Yeah." "Really?" "Yeah." "Which one?" "Four?" "Yeah, four." "Good luck." "Good luck." "Solitary..." "You promise you want to race?" "You're not" "Yeah." "Because if you're in the mood, I will get right there with you." "No." "Honestly, I just thought it would be fun" "To try something different," "But I kind of just would rather do this." "Are you sure?" "I am really sure." "Are you sure?" "Yeah." "What could be better than racing next to a gal in a bikini?" "The girl in the bikini kicking your ass." "This is like nerd fantasy 101." "I'm glad I could fulfill that." "Because it has been a little while since..." "When is the last time that we" "Umm..." "After rich's party?" "I don't think we actually had sex then." "I think we talked about having sex" "On the car ride home, I thought you were like" "No, we talked about having sex but then we came home and" "Oh my god, yeah," "And the toilet was running." "We didn't do it then, but I'm almost positive" "That we had sex after my parents left, after the holidays." "No, 'cause remember your shoulder was messed up" "From helping them weld the car." "That hurt." "So, that takes us back to January." "December was so crazy too." "Yeah, with shopping." "Well, we definitely did on Halloween." "Yes." "We got a little shit-faced and you only remember half of it," "But you were so good." "Thank you." "That's not good though, right?" "That's not great." "We haven't done it since" "Is something wrong with us?" "Since the calendar year started." "Oh my god." "I just want you to know-- maybe I shouldn't be," "I don't know if there's something wrong with this" "But I'm fine with that." "I like our routine." "I think that it could be really fucked up." "But..." "I'm kind of okay too." "I am too, but the second that you feel otherwise," "Let me know," "Because I am down to party." "You too." "I'm so happy." "I am too." "I love you." "I love you." "I want you to know though," "I still get major boners for you." "They're just, like, snuggle boners now." "Cuddle me, silly." "I'm going to snuggle you nine ways from Sunday." "Okay, race time?" "Yup." "My downs are really hard." "Your what?" "The downs." "Yeah." "Well, they're, like, 30 letters long." "What are you doing?" "I can't sleep." "Sweetie?" "Sweetie?" "I don't think I was being 100% honest" "When we were talking in the car." "About what?" "Sometimes, I get freaked out about the notion" "That I am never going to, you know," "Have sex with a different girl ever," "Or see a new person naked ever again." "I do, I think about it." "I kind of already knew that, you know?" "At least, I assumed." "I'm not obsessing about anything," "Or there's no one in particular." "I'm just saying, you know" "You think about" "I think about the concept." "Sometimes I think," ""oh wow, we did it and then" "That's it for life and--"" "I mean, do you ever have that?" "Yeah, I don't think that..." "I don't think I, like," "Sit and sort of consciously go over that it in my mind." "But I think that there are moments that I catch myself," "You know, just maybe wondering." "I want to be super clear that it is" "Not through any lack of" "I couldn't be more attracted to you." "You are, like, 98 % of what I could ever" "If I designed you in a fucking laboratory." "I just want you to know that," "And I trust that you feel that way about me too." "I do." "And I feel like the way we love each other" "Is so far beyond, you know," "Whether or not we have sex every night." "Yeah, that's not what I was shopping for." "When I was shopping for you, I wasn't looking for" "A good bargain." "No, I wanted a good bargain." "I wasn't looking for, like, a jenna jameson" "Or whatever the fuck her name is." "Like you don't know her name." "I wanted a partner." "Yeah, and I feel like that's what we got." "And, I feel like I am" "The luckiest girl in the world to have you." "But I think, you know..." "Our sex life isn't exactly" "What it once was or what it could be, you know." "You know, I told you about that dude I used to work with, jason," "Who was like an ex-coke addict?" "In one weekend of the year, he and his buddies" "Would go camping and fucking go for it." "Like, he would do an ounce of coke in, what, three days." "And then he'd come home," "He'd feel like shit for four or five days," "Remember why he quit to begin with," "And then be good for, like, the rest of the year." "And he could kind of just live off of that weekend." "And I just would watch this guy" "And think, like, maybe there's something to that." "I feel like there is a part of that" "That makes sense." "You know, it's like you're" "Scratching a weird itch" "That, like, you can only reach one way." "You know, does that make sense?" "Yeah, but I don't know if you can do that with sex." "I don't know how that works." "But I feel like if there is a part of us" "That is not getting fulfilled," "Like, a little piece of the pie..." "And it can be fulfilled somewhere else," "And then we can come back to each other better people." "Less itchy." "Less itchy and scratchy, we hope." "I think that that is" "Maybe something that we should think about." "Hey." "Hey." "Went a little long there." "I got kind of nervous that..." "Didn't realize we had a curfew set." "Sorry I made you nervous." "Did you have a good night?" "Yeah, I had a blast." "Yeah?" "How about you?" "It was good." "Want breakfast?" "Do I want breakfast?" "Do you want to have breakfast?" "Yes." "Yeah." "I will a take a shower, and change." "Who would you" "What would you" "Are we really going to talk about this?" "No, your right." "You shouldn't." "I don't want to know." "Yeah." "In fact, I think that would be" "How it would prove to be a horrible idea," "Is if we talked about it afterwards." "God, I mean," "It's not like I want to not talk about it." "I want to know that it happens" "But I don't want to know anything else." "What are the levels of questions?" "Like, basically, did it happen?" "And then shut the door." "But no, like, was it a guy or a girl or" "You totally want me to say I hooked up with a girl." "I do." "I would like that much better." "That's a really nice babushka." "That's not what they're called." "That's a babushka." "Babushka is a grandmother." "Here." "Are you russian?" "I am very russian." "You are." "All right." "So, listen, I am a little bit worried" "About the practicality of me being able" "To actually convert on the assigned day." "I think the odds of me actually" "You are so full of shit right now." "Why?" "I feel like you're already, like," "Laying groundwork in the neighbourhood." "You're like" "Who?" "With the bandanna?" "Come on." "She's cute." "I agree." "It could be her." "It could be her." "But, you know, don't limit yourself." "There is the girl at café stella." "Mm-hmm, the hostess." "I was thinking the waitress." "But there is the hostess too." "Oh boy." "You sort of have your pick of the litter around here." "A real smorgasbord." "I know." "How about you?" "Where are you looking?" "I have no idea." "I don't have a plan." "Well, you have the luxury of not having to plan because" "Your odds of success are about 100%." "I have no game anymore." "I barely had game when I met you." "Sweetie, you have major game." "You could be in a coma and you got more game than I do." "What if my old lines don't work?" "What lines?" "Why not try a couple lines out on me." "Hey!" "I'm in." "Listen, I got a windowless van around the corner," "I would love to escort you there now." "Well, we'll see what happens." "I guess even if you had a game plan," "I probably wouldn't want to know 'cause then I'd start wondering" ""how long has she had this game plan?" "It's very thought out."" "Yeah, no." "I don't have a game plan, and if you do have one," "I don't want to know if you have one." "So, we agreed we're not going to talk about any post wrap-up," "Maybe we shouldn't even talk about" "No pre-game." "The game plan." "Yeah, I think that's smart." "Are you serious?" "I swear." "Honey, that's a terrible idea." "Honey." "Okay, you can give it a shot here." "Uhh, seriously?" "Yeah, seriously." "So, what good is this going to do for your relationship" "To sleep with other people?" "I would hope that it will reignite whatever it is" "That's lacking with us, you know?" "And maybe if we are out there in the world" "And with other people," "We're reminded of everything that we had when we started." "And maybe being with one person for the rest of your life" "Isn't natural at all." "Maybe it's completely unnatural." "And that's just something that we put on ourselves, I think." "I'm going to pull" " I don't do this, you know I don't do this," "I'm gonna pull the big sister thing" "I'm going to say no to this." "You must be asking me because you doubt it." "I'm not asking you." "It's not a good idea." "I'm just telling you." "It's conversation." "I talked about your sneakers, we talked about your sweater," "And now I'm telling you this." "This is" "Don't do this." "This is a bad idea, annie." "You think that you are in control of this," "But once you start down this road-- which you don't have to," "Because we can stop it, we can stop it right now" "If you start down this road," "Your emotions are going to get wild" "And you're not going to be able to rein it back in" "And it's going to end up some place you don't even imagine" "And its going to be terrible." "I think that you are not" "Giving me and darren enough credit in this." "You can't think through this one." "You can't say, "oh, we're going to rationally make the choice" "To take one night off and fuck other people."" "You can't." "It doesn't work that way." "Well, maybe it just doesn't work that way for you." "Do you really believe that?" "Okay, we each do" "We pick a day." "Because it has to happen at the same time 'cause I cannot, like, sit home..." "Right." "I don't want to, like, rush out of the gates" "And take the first thing that comes my way" "And then you're, like, planning" "And you land like brad pitt or something." "It's true because I might plot." "You could." "Are we talking about this, like, talking about this" "Or are we just throwing it out there." "Well, if we just..." "We said hypothetically." "Okay." "Hypothetically, what if we were both comfortable" "With each other" "Having a one night stand." "Okay." "So, are you ready?" "Yeah." "I'm ready." "I mean, I haven't taken viagra or anything," "But yeah, I'm ready." "Okay." "Are you ready?" "Yeah, I am ready." "Do you not want to do this?" "Do you not want to do this?" "Because we don't have to." "No, you're right." "We don't have to." "But you know, I want to." "I want to too." "It's crazy." "But, I don't know," "I'm kind of excited about it." "Wow." "You're really pulling out the stops." "Yeah." "Is that a new dress?" "Yeah, yeah." "Are you wearing sweats?" "What?" "You're wearing sweats." "Currently, yeah." "Are you going out in sweats?" "I don't know." "Are you staying in, in sweats?" "Do you recommend that I go out in sweats?" "I recommend that you stop eating raisins." "Why?" "Because it makes you fart." "You think I'll make a fart bubble?" "You might." "Actually, you know what, keep eating, it's fine." "Lots of fart bubbles?" "Mm-hmm." "Have fun." "You too." "You look really pretty." "Thanks." "You look cute." "Bye!" "¶ A sleep the mind cannot control ¶" "¶ the way a story will unfold ¶" "You looking for something?" "No." "You're just looking around, you look a little jittery," "A little nervous." "You all right?" "I'm..." "Nervous?" "I don't know why I'm nervous." "You're at a bar." "You shouldn't be nervous at a bar." "I know." "That's kind of what I thought." "I just don't really go to bars much by myself." "Yeah, I've never seen you here before." "Is this your first time?" "Yeah." "Yeah, I've never been." "Welcome." "Thank you." "So, what brings you out tonight?" "I just wanted to grab a drink." "Okay." "Seems like you need a drink." "I kind of do need a couple, yeah." "Let me get you another one." "Thank you." "You're welcome." "So, do you have, like, a favourite coffee there?" "Oh, I fucking hate coffee." "You hate it?" "I hate coffee." "Smell my hand." "No here, smell my forearm." "Smells like coffee." "I know, my whole body, all the time, smells like coffee." "Why does your whole body smell like coffee?" "I don't know, 'cause I work at that fucking coffee shop." "And you like roll around in it in your break or something?" "I have to go home and scrub every inch of my body" "Every night or else I'll smell like coffee all night long." "It's disgusting." "But you like coffee." "I do, but I don't have to scrub it off of me." "Because you get a double americano" "With cream, every day, at 5:00." "Yeah." "I do." "Every day at 5:00." "I've been thinking of cutting the cream out." "Really?" "Watching your figure?" "Well, I got kind of a higher cholesterol thing back" "That surprised me." "Really?" "Yeah, but you'd still come in and see me, right?" "If I stop drinking coffee?" "Mm-hmm." "Yeah." "I'll just start eating scones or something." "Or we could just go out for tacos a lot more." "Yeah." "You have some bean on your lip." "Was that..." "That was good?" "Can I tell you something?" "What?" "I haven't umm..." "I haven't umm, you know," "I haven't been with" "Are you nervous?" "Am I nervous?" "Yeah, you seem really nervous." "No, I just haven't been to" "I haven't taken anyone to tacos in a long..." "Time." "I'm not nervous though." "You're not?" "Umm, 'cause we can just go hang out at my place if you want?" "Yeah." "I hope you like the smell of coffee." "Oh my god." "You live at the coffee house?" "Okay, so, it means that," "For tonight, you are not technically" "Yeah." "Yeah." "But now I'm here and I am out of practice." "I haven't done this." "This is the third bar I'm at" "And I feel like I'm running out of time." "So, I just am confused." "I think you should just stop worrying about it." "I feel like I need, like, I need a wingman." "Would you, if you were to be my wingman" "Ah, I get it, all right." "If I made you my wingman," "You're like my girlfriend sitting here with me at the bar." "Oh, great." "Yeah." "Who would you pick for me?" "All right, give me a second." "All right, strictly from girlfriend's standpoint, right?" "Right." "I think the guy behind you is probably your best bet." "No." "No?" "Why?" "I don't know." "He kind of looks like my husband." "Is it weird?" "That's not a good thing." "I mean, I think it's kind of weird if I pick a guy" "That looks like my husband." "And on top of that, he looks like my husband, like, 12 years ago." "He's very cute." "You're a good wingman." "But he's too close." "Um..." "I think the guy, he's leaning on the piano in the green shirt," "I think that's going to be a little bit different." "What?" "No?" "He looks like he's going to do my taxes." "If I do this, if I take one night away," "I want it to be, like, hot" "And, like, ugh, and intense, like," "I'm sorry, that guy's probably actually really nice" "But, like, it's not who I want to fuck one night." "Right." "I don't know." "This might not be the place." "It's like a big boy band here tonight." "I don't think I can go to anymore bars." "I think I'm running out of time." "Hmm." "Where's the bathroom?" "It's right around the corner." "Why don't you have a boyfriend?" "I want one." "You could get one, I'm sure." "I had a boyfriend." "How long ago?" "I've had a couple boyfriends." "We broke up a year ago, which is why I moved here." "From where?" "Just down the street." "Oh." "He's not going to, like," "Come cruising by on a motorcycle or anything is he?" "How about you?" "Have you ever had a long term" "Boyfriend?" "No." "What's your longest relationship?" "Umm, seven years." "Wow." "Were you guys engaged?" "Mm-hmm." "Were you married?" "Mm-hmm." "And so, are you friends now?" "Yeah." "We're friends now." "You know, I'm married." "I'm currently married." "You're still married?" "I'm married, yeah." "But I feel like you know that." "I do know that." "You do know that." "So, your just fucking with me." "To that girl in the coffee shop," "The pretty, brown-haired cute girl," "Who you're always laughing with." "You said it like she was prissy." "She's normal, down to earth." "No, like, you guys are always giggling and all that." "That's you're wife." "So, why are you here?" "Because we decided to try an experiment" "And we got to pick one person" "And you were my pick." "So, you could pick anyone to go after, and you chose me?" "I thought you might be receptive to my advances." "No, I chose you because I" "You what?" "Have a crush on you." "Oh, you have a crush on me?" "Well, I..." "Have a crush on you." "What?" "It's just," "You have a really big boob." "And that's the, like, part of me just thinks," ""all right, so we do it and it sucks or we feel weird about it." ""We can't get passed that?" "I mean, that's ridiculous."" "If we both just said, there's no way" "We're going to let this be a fucking thing, if it gets weird," "If you get hurt or I get hurt or we're dishonest about it." "We'll move on from that together." "And then, like, we can walk away from it" "And just be like, "well, now we know."" "Fucking tried that." "We don't like pickled herring." "We tried it." "Not so much." "Yeah." "Do you have a word?" "Hmm?" "Do you have a word?" "It's my turn?" "Oh." "I'm sorry." "It's okay." "Do you want to talk about" "This weekend at all?" "I don't know." "I feel like we should maybe stick to the game plan." "At least for a couple days." "I think we're maybe both bound to be" "A lot more emotional than logical right now." "Okay." "Babe?" "Hey!" "Whoa!" "How are you?" "How are you?" "I'm doing really good, thank you." "All right, well, good to see you." "Okay." "Good luck with" "Shopping." "Whee!" "See you." "I feel like you're kind of mad at me." "No, I'm not mad at you." "You're not?" "I'm not mad." "Nothing to be mad about." "You mad at me?" "Anyway, we're all long-term couples here." "I just want to-- well, not all of us actually." "Ken, you're new." "How did you guys meet?" "Let's welcome ken to the fold." "Welcome, ken." "Seriously, how did you guys meet?" "Spare no details." "A bar." "That's great." "No, it wasn't the total cliché at-a-bar meeting." "It was cute." "I saw him across the way." "There was some eye contact." "And, he walked up and asked me if I wanted a drink." "And I did." "And he bought it." "You're leaving something out." "That's, like, the greatest story ever told." "Oh, shut up." "It was cute." "What drink-- what kind of drink was it?" "Do you remember?" "Did you, like, take him to the cleaners or" "I don't remember." "Continue." "There's not much too it." "He's here." "That's cute and nice." "Very brave." "So, anyway, I know it's, like, bad form to toast yourself," "But here's to me and my birthday." "Thank you guys very much." "It's 36." "It doesn't mean anything." "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, I'm sorry," "I cannot clink glasses with a water glass." "It's so against the rules." "I'm driving, I'm driving." "I'm driving too." "You're absolutely not driving." "You don't believe that drunk driving is bad, do you?" "You don't buy into that myth, do you?" "You always drink red wine." "You've never said no to a glass of red wine in your life." "It's obvious, why don't you..." "What?" "Did I start a fight." "No, no, no." "No, no, no." "You have to tell them now." "Well..." "I mean, we did get some kind of cool news today." "What?" "Oh my god, did you guys buy a new car?" "Escalade?" "This is the first time I'm saying it out loud." "Say it." "Umm, we're pregnant!" "Oh my god!" "Oh my god, congratulations." "Let's just have another toast." "We can have another toast for that." "Cheers." "With the water, yeah." "I think it's great." "Thank you so much." "We're really, really excited, really excited." "What, umm, made you guys decide to have a baby?" "It was kind of just the logical next step." "The time is just right." "You know, we moved into the new place, honeymoon," "The whole, we just were getting everything settled, you know," "Learning how to be married and all that kind of stuff" "And then" "I don't know." "I just I looked at scott one night, and I was like," "I know that you're going to be the most amazing father." "It's like, this is going to sound so stupid," "I want us, this love that we have, this relationship we have," "I want it to be so special" "That another human being comes out of it." "You know what I mean?" "Does that sound really stupid?" "That's a really good answer." "No, it really is." "I can't think of a better reason." "I mean, what are you going to say?" "Tax break?" "Love you." "I love you." "For that sappy moment" "I'm sorry, you guys." "Thanks for ruining my birthday!" "Honey, you just look miserable." "No, I'm tired." "Annie, I just spent a whole night" "Looking across a table at you, and there was just no light." "It's just, it's hard right now, you know." "Well, yeah." "I mean, honestly, it seemed completely logical" "And now I look at it and I'm just like "what?" "What?"" "It doesn't make any sense." "It doesn't make any sense at all." "I don't know even why we did it anymore." "Like, none of that makes sense." "Like our reasons aren't even" "It doesn't matter now." "What matters is done." "We're not going to go back and make the decision again, right?" "You made the decision together" "And you just have to" "Get out from under it together." "I don't know if we can." "I think we are buried in a big-ass pile of shit right now." "You are buried in a big-ass pile of shit." "But you can also get out of it." "I totally believe in you guys." "He loves you so much." "God, I love him too." "I love him so much." "I know you do." "And that's all that matters." "That's all that matters." "He just looks at me different." "He looks at my like he doesn't even know me." "Or he does know me he just doesn't like me." "Honey, he's just afraid." "He's so afraid of losing you." "I know, I feel awful." "I have no idea what to do." "I'm so mad at myself." "I'm mad at myself." "I feel like I did this." "Oh god." "Honey, don't beat yourself up." "You had the best of intentions." "It was a stupid fucking idea." "It was a stupid idea." "So stupid, so stupid" "It's okay." "We can fix this." "Have you talked to him?" "We promised each other we wouldn't." "Annie." "Honey, you have to." "Look, you made this decision together" "And you went off and you did these crazy things" "And now you've got this huge thing between you." "But you talk about it and it brings you back together." "It's the only way to get through this." "I think we should talk about this." "I don't think there's anything to talk about." "What do you want to talk about?" "I know it's going against all the rules, I just want to" "I feel like there's questions that we can answer." "I don't want to answer them." "I mean, there was a specific reason we agreed not to do that." "I'm not going down that path with you." "Nothing good is going to come out of that conversation." "Well, I can't not talk about it." "What conversation are we going to have?" "We have to, like, get past wherever we're at right now." "I can't sit here and have you look at me" "The way you're looking at me." "And I can't just sit next to you and not" "I'm sorry" "I can't." "I'm sorry the way I'm looking at you." "It might have something to do with" "Watching you come in the door the other day" "At 6:00 in the morning." "I'm sorry that that's now the way I am looking at you." "I hope it's temporary." "You're not curious?" "You don't" "No, I think I know everything I need to know." "That's what I'm saying." "If we just, if we talk about it," "Then we don't have to assume things, and we can just know." "I don't want to know details." "I already feel like shit" "With the limited amount of information that I already have" "So I'm pretty positive I don't need to hear anymore." "Because you want to feel shittier?" "Because I don't want to." "I need to move out of this place" "And I feel like if we don't talk about it," "Then we're not going to move forward." "No, you know what." "We're on the verge" "We fucking talk about it," "And, honestly, there's probably no going back." "If we just fucking deal with it and man up" "And get through a week or so of feeling shitty" "Or whatever it is, a month, two months," "But I'm telling you, I don't think you realize" "How fragile this whole thing is right now." "Would you want to know if I didn't do it?" "Honey, I don't think I would believe you" "If you told me you didn't do it." "You wouldn't believe me?" "Well, what the fuck were you doing out" "Until 6:00 in the morning?" "What were you doing while I was gone?" "I don't know what you were doing all night?" "This is what I'm talking about." "I was sitting right here, waiting for you," "Staring at my phone, trying to decide whether or not" "I look like a fucking pussy and call you." "That's what I was doing." "There's the fucking answer." "You're trying to tell me you didn't do it?" "What I'm telling you is that" "Did you fucking do it?" "So, you did do it, you just came home earlier than I did." "No." "That is not what I said." "You don't have to say anything." "Oh, I don't have to say anything?" "Why?" "'Cause I feel like if you didn't do it," "You could stand across from me and say "no, I didn't do it."" "How come you're the one grilling me?" "Did I come home at 6:00 in the morning?" "No, I don't know what you did all night." "I don't know when you came in." "You could have come home right before I got home." "I have no idea what you did that night and that's just what" "I think that you did it." "Did you do it?" "Do you like that question?" "Did you do it?" "Are you asking me if I-- are you really asking me?" "Fine." "Did you do it?" "Did you fuck a guy?" "Do you want to confirm what I already know?" "Did you fuck somebody?" "Yeah." "I did." "I met a bartender and I..." "Fucked him in the bathroom." "How could you do that?" "You're supposed to be my partner." "You're supposed to be my wife." "You're supposed to love me." "You're supposed to" "Regardless of whatever conversation you would have," "You're supposed to act like we're fucking partners." "And you didn't." "What's wrong with you?" "What's wrong with me?" "This was something we decided on doing together" "And now you're turning it around on me," "That I don't love you all of a sudden" "And I'm not your wife and your partner?" "Because I got in that situation and I didn't do anything" "Because I do love you." "And I would fucking die for you" "You don't stand there," "Don't stand there and tell me that you didn't do it." "Well, there's your answer." "I didn't." "You had every intention of going out there and doing it" "I didn't though, that's the big fucking difference." "You didn't do it?" "I didn't." "Oh, I'm so sure." "Because when I got to that point," "It felt fucking horrible" "Because I am committed to taking care of you and loving you." "And you apparently don't give a shit about that." "You're a fucking slut." "I don't believe you." "You went out-- I don't believe you." "I don't believe you!" "You're a fucking slut." "This whole thing was your idea." "This was my idea?" "You took your wedding ring off." "You left your wedding ring at home" "Oh, big fucking deal, I left my wedding ring at home." "That is our marriage!" "You fucked somebody in the fucking bathroom of a bar!" "Fucking slut." "Fuck you!" "I didn't do it." "I don't know why I said that." "I'm so sorry." "I said it because I thought you had and I wanted to be mean." "I didn't." "I don't think I believe that." "Just look at me for just one second." "I didn't do it." "It's me." "I didn't." "I couldn't." "I would never do that." "I don't know." "I don't know what to believe." "Annie..." "Where were you then?" "I walked." "I just walked." "I couldn't come home." "I was so afraid that you wouldn't be here" "And I would just be sitting here waiting." "And I couldn't." "I don't know what happened." "What a fucking stupid idea," "All to avoid going," ""hey, we need to fix this."" "I am scared to death that we have said things to each other" "That we can't take back," "That we've crossed some weird, fucked up line somewhere" "And I don't know" "How to get back." "I know." "I wish we just had a time machine" "And we could go back a week." "So, hypothetically" "Hypothetically" "You find a boy." "You find a girl." "And we do it." "One night." "And then we come back together" "I hope in love." "And we use that" "And have the most mind-blowing sex we've ever had" "For, like, three days straight." "I love you." "I love you." "So much." "You too." "Even if we never do anything," "It feels so good to know how much you trust me." "I trust us, baby." "And I hope you can feel how much I trust you." "I love you so much." "I love you too." "¶ You say you're going to ¶" "¶ the garden ¶" "¶ and I should come and play ¶" "¶ I feel like I should tell you there ¶" "¶ there were wolves there yesterday ¶" "¶ we walked and I said nothing ¶" "¶ I didn't want to hurt the mood ¶" "¶ I know we can't outrun them ¶" "¶ but the flowers smell so good ¶" "¶ those wolves in the garden ¶" "¶ wolves in the garden ¶" "¶ wolves in the garden ¶" "¶ it's a sunny morning ¶" "¶ they gave no warning ¶" "¶ those wolves, those wolves ¶" "¶ in the garden ¶" "¶ I know I could have saved us ¶" "¶ but we'd have never known this day ¶" "¶ if this is where we had to go ¶" "¶ well then, I'm glad we went this way ¶" "¶ all that's left to see is ¶" "¶ what kind of flowers we'll become ¶" "¶ I'm sure we'll be the kind ¶" "¶ that bring children out into the sun ¶" "¶ those wolves in the garden ¶" "¶ wolves in the garden ¶" "¶ wolves in the garden ¶" "¶ wolves in the garden ¶"