"Title:" "The Robber Hotzenplotz English subtitles by Theriot@2014" "The main actors and their characters:" "Robber Hotzenplotz" "Kasperl and Seppel" "Zwackelmann" "Mrs. Schlotterbeck" "Sergeant Dimpfelmoser" "Faerie Amaryllis" "Grandmother (Granny)" "#"April Showers bring May flowers "#" "Ah - granny's coffee grinder which I have always wanted!" "#April Showers Bring May flowers ...#" "Mr. Postman, so early today ah?" "Postman!" "Granny confuses me with a public official!" "Unfortunately I'm not wearing my glasses." "I hear better without them on ..." "Like this wonderful music" "That a coffee grinder can make such beautiful music." "Ah!" "Oh No!" "It's the terrible robber Hotzenplotz" "Yes it is, granny" "And it is made even more terrible by the fact that I am here." "My apologies, I have nothing for such an important robber such as yourself to steal." "Then what is this?" "This is my birthday gift, the coffee grinder." "It's a gift from Kasperl and Seppel It plays my favorite song" "Tough luck granny, it is also my favorite song." "Let go!" "Mr. robber, you can have my coffee but don't take my grinder." "Don't you read the newspapers?" "Don't you know how dangerous I am?" "Certainly I kow that Mr. Robber." "Good, you come stand over here now" "And do not move from this spot" " Yes but for how long?" " Close your eyes, count to 997...999" "And then what?" "Then you can call for help but not a second before; otherwise you know what will happen!" " I understand, Mr. robber" " And no cheating!" "I swear on my honor 1, 2, 3, 4... 19, 20, 21..." "Pull Kasperl, pull" "Done!" "So much easier to take an apple off the tree than to wait for one of granny's apple pies." "332... 385..." "No ... 300..." "My God, Where was I?" "I have to start all over again" "1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8." "That was a really good idea, Kasperl." "Yes Seppel, remember: a good idea is worth it's weight in gold." "Kasperl!" "Help!" "Ah!" "Oh!" "Ui!" "Ui ui ui!" "There goes our beautiful apple pie." "995, 996, 997, 998, 999..." "Help!" "Help!" "Help!" "Help" "Help" "Help" "Granny!" "Help!" "My Coffee Grinder!" "Move out of the way!" "On official business" "Good day, Mr. Dimpfelmoser." "Ah, sergeant Dimpfelmoser." "Move out of the way" "Ow!" "Granny!" "Granny!" "Carrying out official business!" "Granny" " He has robbed me" " Was the apple pie taken?" "!" "Just a moment!" "Robbed?" "Who did this robbing?" "The robber Hotzenplotz" "Ui!" "The Hotzen .." "and hoppen ..." "Officer, Am I going to get my coffee grinder back?" "This I cannot promise" "But among us, I must admit ..." "This is not easy!" "Most likely" "In fact to be honest, it is very difficult and why. please?" "Well we are well acquainted with this robber Hotzen ..." "and have been after him for a long time!" "because he is dangerous and cunning, we have never been able to capture him." "How can this be so?" "We still don't even know the location of his hideout." "We will never learn his whereabouts without the help of the population" " But once we know where he is, we'll catch him." " Exactly!" "You two!" "?" "You want to catch the robber?" "Without me?" "You two?" "!" "Never!" "Such a serious case of predatory theft ..." "Can only be solved by an expert with the utmost skill ... determination and technical proficiency." "You have to know exactly which police action in detection must be taken first" "Portiunkula Schlotterbeck." "Certified Psychic (Beware of the Dog)" "Yes my vashti." "Good vashti." "yess Vashti" "Here is your delicious food" "Here, delicate sausages" "Good Day, I have important official business to transact with you." "It will be my pleasure to help you Sergeant." "I am at your disposal" "Ask your question!" "Uh ... yes!" "I'm looking for the hiding place of the robber Hotzenplotz." "Hotzenplotz?" "#April Showers bring May flowers...#" "The swing of the pendulum will indicate" "Where the wanted man now stands" "Where the pendulum points is the direction you should go to find him." "This coffee grinder will bring me a lot of money" "This should not be so difficult this time" "Peel the potatoes!" "Skin these potaoes post haste!" "Hocus pocus!" "Damned sulphur smoke!" "You lazy hand, you might still have to do the work ..." "Hocus pocus, 1, 2, 3, The potatoes of their skins be free!" "Abracadabra!" "Flowers!" "?" "Oh no!" "Presto Change-O" "Swine And Serpents!" "Rodents!" "How did I forget this spell?" "Out with you!" "(Mumbles more scolding)" "Ah, My old friend." "You are still alive?" "Welcome." "Do you not wish to enter?" "#April showers bring May flowers#" "No, this I do not need." "What I need is someone to peel these potatoes." "And this somwone would have to be stupid." "Yes, damn stupid." "Stupid like a pig?" "This castle is full of secrets Do you think I want to have someone here who comes to me on the run?" "But as a coffee grinder is rare ..." "Well if you do not want it, I'll have to go back to work." "Be happy!" "As a thief, you have a decent job with a real future." "Since you're doing the work of never ... uh ... hmmm." "Now I have nothing at all." "Look at this." "Ui." "At what?" "A track in the sand And where does that lead to?" "A wooden crate." "That's right, If the Robber Hotzenplotz drags this box to his lair." "We just need to follow the trail in the sand and then we'll have him!" "But why would the robber Hotzenplotz want this box?" "This is why." "Gold" "Cheese catches mice Gold traps robbers." "We are going to invade the lair of Hotzenplotz!" "Ui, Kasperl!" "Yes, Seppel, remember:" "A good idea is worth its weight in gold" "We just can't forget to pull out the plug" "Good heavens, this gold is really heavy!" "Still louder." "Like this ..." "Good heavens, this gold is really heavy!" "Good heavens, this gold is really heavy!" "Good heavens, this gold is really heavy!" "My god this gold is heavy!" "Good heavens, this gold is really heavy!" "Gold!" "My god this gold is really heavy!" "Even if it is just sand." "Pssst!" "Hands up!" "This is a robbery!" "Hands up!" "Look." "Here he comes ... and quickly!" "Damn!" "Don't pull me" " We have to get out of here, Kasperl!" " Don't pull me." "You have to pull out the plug" " Why do I have to pull it out?" " Because it was your idea." "Hands off my box, It is with great difficulty that I have come to steal it." "Well wait" "So much gold!" "How did the two of them come by so much gold?" "Kasperl and Seppel!" "It is hard to believe." "But look who has the gold now!" "Good heavens, this gold really is heavy." "You go first." "Help!" "Ow!" " Are you afraid?" " Afraid?" "Me?" "Not at all!" "Good, then we continue on and catch him." "Catch the Hotzenplotz?" "!" "But ... but won't he recognize us?" " Shouldn't we maybe go in disguise and dress up as someone else?" " Disguise?" "You're right, but what sort of disguises?" "How should we go about this?" "A good idea is worh its weight in gold." "We simply exchange hats!" "What a clever idea." "I can't even recognize you." "If I didn't know you were you, I'd think you were me." "Hotzenplotz groans  curses." "You must, fortunately for me, remain outside." "So!" "Let us see what my hard work has brought me today." "Huh?" "Those two little devils have tricked me" "Just you wait and see you little ragamuffins!" "Ow!" "He Who lays a sandy trap falls into it himself." "This is supposed to be about Hotzenplotz only?" "What is happening?" "The pendulum is confused." "It has indeed lost its direction" "This robber is merely unpredictable I can tell you this from occupational experience." "I suggest we try a different investigative tool." "I am open to anything, Ms. Schlotterbeck." "The Hotzenplotz should beware." "Now we will use the magic Ouija Board glass." "Ouija board glass!" "Right!" "My trap has served me well before." "Oh magic glass and board point us to the robber's hoard." "Point to an ABC, allowing Dimfelmoser to make use of me." "W!" "As in "Wald"" "One shot from my pepper gun has brought many to reason." "Ui!" "Look!" "Now he is going in two different directions." "Nonsense!" "It is not possible to go in two different directions." "No, it's not impossible." "I've definitely traveledin more than two directions in my life time." "Yes, but not at the same time!" "Maybe the box was too heavy for him." "So he cut it in two, then took one piece in this direction and the other piece in that direction." "Nonsense!" "I've got it!" "He was lost." "First he walked up there." "and then he came back this way and went down there." "Or he is running in circles." "That's it!" "However, we have an advantage." "He is alone, but there are two of us." "True." "We'll split up and each take a path." "I'll flip this coin." "Heads will go to the left, Tails goes to the right." "I choose heads." "But then you go to the left no matter what and I, as a tail ..." "You go to the right." "Alone?" "What are you worried about?" "We're in disguise." "Yes, of course." "I forgot." "You're right of course." "Well, go on." "Quickly" "Kasperl!" "Well?" "Mr. ..." "Mr. ..." "Mr. Hotzenplotz" "How about a little spice?" "A shot of pepper perhaps?" "That's what you get when you stick your nose into things ... that don't concern you Right, Kasperl?" "Seppel!" "Sure, and that's why you're wearing Kasperl's hat on your head." "I am really Seppel!" "And I am really Sergeant Dimpfelmoser." "Oh!" "The robber's nest!" ""You are here?" "!"" "Did you hear, Kasperl?" "It's Seppel's voice!" "The trap's alarm system that I invented by myself" "I applied for the patent rights to it" "With The Robber's self-Help Association" "Good, Seppel!" "Didn't you think to to properly greet your good uncle Hotzenplotz?" "Good day to you." "Get in the gunny sack" "Thank you for dropping me so gently!" "You thought you could fool me Kasperl - but this is the real Seppel here." "You can tell by the hat Wrong, Mr. robber, I am Seppel" "I swear" "Why don't you just admit that you are Kasperl?" "All right" "I am a Sep... ..." "I am Kasperl for sure." "Good, I will not stand for lies and dishonesty in my cave!" "We will use the secret of out true identities against him." "After all there are two of us ..." "And we are in disguise" "He is as good as caught and tied up already" "#April showers bring May flowers#" "Do you recognize this melody?" "Does it make you homesick?" " Ya, Ya ..." "Mr. Plotzenlotz" " Hotzenplotz!" "Klotzenpotz" "How can you not know my name?" "After all, I'm a celebrity!" "Certainly..." "Schlotzenprotz Sir" "­ You want to insult me, don't you?" " Not at all Mr. ..." "Kotzenrotz." "You really are a dunce, aren't you?" "No wonder you wear that stupid dunce cap on your head" "You're really of no damn use, you're stupid as a pig!" "... Stupid as a pig?" "Ah, Wait a minute ..." "Don't struggle against me Seppel." "You're going to peel potatoes or you'll never see your friend again." "Glass, glass, show us the view:" "Where is he going, what will he do?" ""Z"." ""Z" seems ..." "You must think of nothing else always only the robber Hotzenplotz Otherwise the glass shall be silent!" "Yes, yes, I think only of him!" "A "Z" with a "W"." "He can peel a potato But can he cook a potato?" "beyond all doubt Mr.Schnackelmann, Sir" "He twisted my name!" "I am the great sorcerer Zwackelmann, He must keep that in mind at all times!" "I will obey your commands, great Wackelzahn!" "Do you think I will tolerate your insults boy?" "Should I turn you into a monkey?" "Stop!" "This Seppel... did not twist your name on purpose." "He is just too stupid." "Stupid?" " Like a pig he is so stupid." " Well, then ..." "Ow!" "I like this Seppel, because he is so stupid" "Then now has come the time to talk about a price" "Yes" "How about a bag of snuff?" "One bag of snuff for so much stupidity?" "This is not a fair bargain." "My good friend, let us see what we can do ..." "Oh my, that's a long ways down ..." "Think only of the robber Hotzenplotz think of nothing else." "It's an "A." ZWA..." "ZWA?" "Very good, Sergeant, now a"C."" "Oh ... a"K." Zwack?" "An "E" with an "L"." "It's Zwackel" "Zwackel?" "­ Zwackelmann!" "­ Zwackelmann?" "I have never heard of this character ..." "Zwackelmann!" ", Good heavens!" "That ... this matter has become too dangerous for me!" "Oh!" "Hotzenplotz laughs" "Young man, come here" "Come here you!" "Here." "You cannot work with that hat on But this is Kasperl's hat" "I mean ... my hat" "There is more to being you than a hat." "Kasperl..." "My hat!" "Ui!" "Hey" "Oh, So that's why" "Ow!" "Aha, so what is this that I see and hear?" "Does the Seppel want to escape?" "Who else but Seppel could be so stupid as to think that you can escape from my castle?" "come back quickly now, and stop disturbing my sleep, otherwise..." "Seppel!" "I have to go to Buxtehude to attend a sorcery conference" "All the potatoes must be peeled by the time I return." "Faster than the spider its web doth spin, Faster than the fish with tail and fin" "Fly, oh fly my magic cloth to Buxtehude like a giant moth ..." "Oh, Seppel, our plan was so good." "What has happened?" "If you only knew how often I think of you." "I wonder how you are doing?" "I hope that you are doing better than me." "Hurry little monkey That is no organ you are grinding there" "Faster!" "Hurry, I have to be to work on time" "A robber must always be punctual." "Ui!" ""DO NOT ENTER"" ""ENTRY STRICLY FORBIDDEN" It seems that it is forbidden to enter anywhere." "Ah!" "My God, now if I was someone who got scared easily, that would be a bad thing." "Good thing I'm all alone and there's no one else here." "Otherwise I don't know how I could stand it ..." ""ADMISSION ABSOLUTELY PROHIBITED"." "Look out!" "Who's talking over there?" "I am the Good  Beautiful Faerie Amaryllis." " I would't exactly say you're beautiful ..." " The evil wizard has transformed me so." "I still think you're a fat, ugly toad." "But I can prove to you that I am telling the truth." " I want to see how you're going to do that." " I know who you are and what your name is." "oh yeah?" "You are Kasperl, even though you are wearing Seppel's hat." "And you are trapped here just like I am." "Wow, You really are a fairy." "Why don't you just change yourself back?" "In order to do that I will first have to touch the Faerie grass Will you bring it to me?" "But I can't leave the castle." "I already know this" "If you leave an item of clothing behind in place of your body" "Then the spell will be thwarted and you will be free to leave the castle." "But if Zwackelmann catches me he will turn me into a monkey!" "Please help me, so I can help you." "What am I supposed to leave behind?" "My Shoes?" "Without shoes, how can I run?" "Pants?" "Without pants I'll catch cold." "My shirt?" "That would freeze me even more" "A good idea is worth its weight in gold" "Ah ..." "Yes, of course - the hat!" "I can do without this hat" "It doesn't even belong to me." "So will this work or not?" "Oh." "You are too old to cry." "You are ruining my best boots with your whining." "Be careful!" "I can't be expected to do everything myself ..." "Don't wait up for me, I am working the late shift tonight." "Well, here, since I won't be back until late ..." "Now stop your crying." "Wait by the side of the root, until the moon rises to its highest point" "Then the fairy grass will begin to shine" "If you then pick the fairy grass, you will be invisible" "Wow, I really am invisible" "Oh!" "Silver" "Get out of the way!" "Watch where you're flying!" "You novice!" "Hoppsa!" "Low-flying aircraft!" "Seppel!" "Bring the potato salad!" "No slacking!" "Be quick about it!" "I'm hungry" "You lazy ghost, do you want me to give you more legs so you can move faster?" "Seppel, I've had about enough of this." "What, no peeling?" "How dare you such impertinence?" "!" "Wretched monkey of a servant!" "Seppel!" "Where are you?" "come here this instant!" "Oh!" "His hat!" "Ah ..." "Ah!" "Hocus pocus!" "1, 2, 3" "On this hat do I focus" "Now Bring its owner here to me." "Ui!" "You are not the Seppel You are Kasperl!" "Just like the robber Hotzenplotz You've confused me with Kasperl." "because we exchanged hats with each other" "If I am to believe you are truely Seppel Then prove it to me." "Okay, how should I do that?" "Easy, by giving me Kasperl's hat." "I can't do that because Hotzenplotz has burned it." "Burned it?" "Yes, he threw it into the fire right in front of my eyes!" "Out of sheer spite!" "Out of Anger?" "Out of ignorance!" "because he is too stupid to recognize ..." "This stupid idiot, this Hotzen..." "Is that boot Hotzenplotz's?" "yes" "This wretched insect!" "Taking me along on his fool's errand ..." "I have to shine his boots and do all the household chores" "Grind coffee, sharpen knives scrub floors, wash and rinse ..." "Be quiet!" "I have to concentrate." "Hocus pocus" "Hocus pocus 1, 2, 3" "On this boot I do focus" "Now bring its owner here to me." "what's going on?" "Zwackelmann!" "Old geezer." "And Kasperl is also here?" "This isn't Kasperl!" "This is Seppel!" "Wrong, he is Kasperl!" "Isn't that right, Kasperl?" "Is this supposed to be some kind of joke?" "This is no joke, of that you can be sure." "Did you really burn his hat?" "Yes, and that was good fun." "Right, Kasperl?" "He is Seppel!" "And I cannot conjure Kasperl without his hat!" "All because of you, you idiot." "Birdbrain!" "Birdbrain?" "Now you've gone too far." "I will not stand for it." "You kindly take it back." "You are right, I should not call you a birdbrain That is absolutely right" "Unless the birdbrain becomes the bird." "Abracadabra" "Ha!" "You think this is funny, do you?" "You will regret this, Zwackelmann!" "Ui!" "Oh!" "Abramacabra" "Go!" "Ponder your insolence and your burning of other people's hats!" "And now to you." "Can you peel potatoes?" "Yes?" "Then peel." "To the kitchen!" "Off with you!" "Yes, run!" "Kasperl, do not provoke me." "Let me help you." "You cannot escape me!" "Hopefully Zwackelmann hasn't come back yet." "Hm?" "It's fairy grass." "Damned, hateful." "Ui!" "Don't you dare !" "Iam coming Amaryllis You will be free in no time." "Sulphur torture and hellfire." "The fairy grass - quickly!" "Throw it down!" "Yes!" "Ui!" "Oh!" "Ah, finally!" "Perceive the great sorcerer Petrosilius Zwackelmann" "Höllenpest and sulfur vapor!" "Not, my magic wand!" "Oh!" "And now it is time to show you my magical arts" "No!" "Oh." "All you are, all you own, material wealth flesh and bone; shall diminish and surely shrink when I enact my magical blink." "No!" "Oh.!" "No!" "Not that!" "Don't be so!" "What is this now?" " Seppel!" " Kasperl!" "But ..." "Where is the castle?" "And who is she?" "And where is the sorcerer?" "Ui." "That looks like Zwackelmann's castle ..." "His magical powers are now small just like his castle oi" "If I ever get ahold of you, you'll be sorry!" "Don't be naughty, magical dwarf" "Haha!" "Otherwise we will throw you a pickle and that will be your end!" "There will be consequences, wait and see!" "I owe you a debt of gratitude." "Take this ring It will grant you three wishes" "How so?" "Rotate it, and speak your wish clearly Then your wish shall be fullfilled." "Judgement Day for the sorcerer has also arrived" "Put me down you stupid fairy!" "There will be consequences, you stupid cow!" "I return now to my fairy kingdom." "If you ever need me then you have but to call me and I will come." "No!" "Please, not the fairy kingdom!" "­ Who exactly is she then?" "­ She is a fairy maiden" "I just met her" "I saved her, using the fairy grass." "That's it" "You?" "Yes, me." "­ What bird is this?" "­ It's the robber Hotzenplotz!" "This is the robber Hotzenplotz?" "A bird?" "Are you trying to play a prank on me?" "It is a serious offense to offer false testimony." "No!" "This is robber Hotzenplotz." "Does this bird show even a remote resemblence?" "This is how it went:" "First we exchanged hats." "Silence!" "You are welcome to play your pranks on others if you must, but I am a public official!" "If you insist on making fun of me" "You can expect legal consequences." "I wish that the finch in the cage will change back to the robber Hotzenplotz." "Oh!" "Get off of my desk!" "How did you get up there!" "You rabble-rouser!" "Such insolence!" "Where did you come from?" " Who are you?" "­ You cannot recognize a robber?" "Oh!" "It's a Hotz..." "Hotzen..." "The one  only deliverd right to your doorstep Arrest him now!" "Stop, you're not going anywhere!" "Stop!" "I wish that Hotzenplotz changes back to a bird sitting in the cage!" "In the name of the law, you are under arrest!" "Mr. Hotzenplotz, I need to advise you of your legal rights" "Now, anything you say can be used against you." "I must also warn you that if you continue to refuse to testify," "I have the authority to conduct a search." "As you wish." "I will take you to the firehouse." "It's ..." "It's ..." "Out of the way!" "Yes!" "Yes!" "No time!" "I'm on official business!" "So, as for the sorcerer and the hand, this I understand" "But as for the business with the bird and the Hotzenplotz, that you have to explain to me one more time." "As I said, it's really quite simple:" "I only have to turn this ring here." "and say I want that bird to turn into robber Hotzenplotz again" "The Plotzenhotz ..." "Now I'm going to advise you of your rights!" "You don't have any rights!" "Now the tables have turned!" "Grandmother, this new hat suits me even better than the old one." "This casserole doesn't have exploding mushrooms in it?" "­ Seppel, what are you saying?" "­ If someone eats it, they will explode." " Seppel what's the matter with you?" " It's the exploding mushroom!" "­ I'm exploding from the inside out!" "­ Not this old cheap trick again ..." "Seppel, stop that." "There's no such thing as exploding mushrooms." "Seppel, how can you frighten me so?" "Bon appetit!" " Your ... good Dimpfelmoser, Sir" " On official business!" "Good heavens" "Look out!" "Quick!" "Move out of the way!" "Help!" "Help!" "Help!" "Out of the way!" "­ Did that bird sing a song?" "­ It kept silent through the indictment" "­ that's gratitude for you!" "­ That's the last robber" "­ we'll ever catch for him ­ So rude he is!" "Oh!" "Sausages with sauerkraut!" "Ah, the Lord Dimpfelmoser!" "Execuse me, my glasses are all fogged up." "I will wipe them with a hand towel" "Granny, you have to come here right away" "Why do you have such a deep voice, Sergeant?" "Have you caught a cold?" "I will make you a hot fomentation." "­ Where did my glasses go to?" "­ There's no time to lose." "We have to track that robber." "You'll just have to make due without your glasses." "Excuse me sergeant, have you taken a wrong turn?" "What Mr. Sergeant?" "A man as cunning as me does not get lost, Grandmother." "You're the robber Hotzenplotz!" "­ Indeed, it is I!" "­ What do you want with me now?" "I want to kidnap you, granny." "Beat it as you would a drum Granny." "A policeman's helmet is used to a knucklehead." "Help!" "Help!" "Let me out of here!" "Do you hear that?" "It has to be the bullfinch." " He's trying to escape from the cage" " Help!" "Yes, and somehow the bird has the voice of Dimpfelmoser." " Can't anyone hear me?" "!" " What's going on in there?" "Strange how a bird can impersonate a policman's scream ..." "Help!" "Save me, quickly!" "What do you see?" "A fire hose, and a bucket that has a pair of dirty feet!" "How many?" "Help!" "The dirty feet are yelling!" "Help!" " Ui!" " Help!" "Suddenly that bird changed into Robber Hotzen again.." "I can't explain how it happened." "­ I don't understand either ­ I do." "I understand." "­ You said it to the ring at Granny's ­ I still don't get it." " You wished to the ring ..." "Don't you remember?" "­ I know what I said ... ­ You said:" "I want that bird to turn into robber Hotzenplotz again ..." " I said such a thing?" "I understand, I understand completely." "Mr. Dimpfelmoser!" "Mr. police?" "You are in your underwear!" "Someone has stolen my uniform!" "However that is not the only uniform I have" "I have to get to my dress uniform but it is at home." "How can i get there?" "How are you, Lady Schlotterbeck?" "Ms. Schlotterbeck?" "Good day, Sergeant." "I was just thinking of visiting you." "How are you?" "Thanks for asking." "Excellent!" "­ Nice of you to meet me here." "I'm glad." "­ I'm glad too." "I wanted to pay you a visit, as well - on official business, of course." "I am gladly at your service" "I need a dog, a hunting dog!" "My dog?" " God, it's so embarrassing." " Talk." "As a public official I can't be influenced by personal feelings." "I swear, I give you my word, I will no longer pursue this matter." "Whatever it is you will no longer pursue, lady Schlotterbeck, I'm delighted for you." "A crocodile?" "Bark!" "­ It only appears that way ..." "­ But you have no permit to keep it" "It is a dog A sweet dachsund with short little legs." "My Washti" "But he had the misfortune of a small mishap When I was enrolled and taking classes at the enchantress school ... ­ It was at that time ..." "­ Enchantress school?" "Please, Mr. Dimpfelmoser, that was another life ... another time." "and I will never do it again" "I do hope that you will not think badly of me." "Mrs. Schlotterbeck, No public official would think thus." "Grandmother, where are you?" "Grandmother!" "Ui!" "Ui!" "What is this?" "He kidnapped her!" "Granny!" "­ Poor Grandmother!" " He wants the silver cutlery ... the Stone Cross ..." "Hotzenplotz!" "#Everything is new in May# #and makes the soul fresh and free#" "#Let us come out of our houses in droves#" "Gleaming sunshine, bright and gay# #fragrant flower and tree luscious verdant groves#" "#Birds sing, horns ring, notes drowned in the forest to the ear yet cling ...#" "Hurry!" "The robber said we have to be at the Stone Cross by 4 o'clock!" "This silverware is too damn heavy!" "Don't say that." "It's Grandmother's ransom." "­ Just as the Robber Hotzenplotz demanded." "­ Shouldn't we tell Sergeant   Watch Moster ..." "Dimple ..." "Dimpfelmeister?" "Hotzenplotz said we can't tell anyone." "Otherwise something bad will happen." "Keep running you two little fools." "Robber Rotzenkotz is a yellow fish brain." " Oh!" " Oh!" "The Plotzenlotz is a fat owl!" "Yes, now I've got you, you two brats." "The Schlotzrotz is a country bumpkin." "He's as fat and stupid as August like he appears in the book [Heinrich Hoffmann's Struwwelpeter" " Fat Augustus?" "]." "Stay right there ..." "And his boots in his hideout were stinky!" "Ui!" "Ui!" "Like to call names?" "What should I call you then?" "Two bad eggs, little Saspel and Kasperls." "Well?" "Good doggie, washti, good doggie." "Search for the service uniform, Washti." "Yes, search for the service uniform of the nice Sergeant Dimpfelmoser." "Is he not cute?" "Yes?" "Yes." "Good doggie." "Search for the beautiful service uniform of the nice and lovely Sergeant Dimpfelmoser." "Oh, this adventure excites me so, Sergeant Dimpfelmoser." "Here, you take the leash since you are the expert." "Washti has picked up the scent." "Washti, Washti, search for the uniform." "Ah!" "­ The cutlery and the coffee grinder go together extremely well." "­ Then release Grandmother now!" "Oh no." "But you yourself wrote: "Then you can again see your grandmother!"" " I didn't say anything about releasing her" " That's mean!" "If you Want to be a good robber" "You have to be both cunning and mean Otherwise you will amount to nothing in this line of work." "What is the meaning of this, now?" "That's what my Washti always does when he is comfortable." "Dogs love to do that." "That is all well and good, but not during working hours!" "Please, Officer, my Washti is very sensitive." "Stop, not one step further!" "That is an order!" "That's no way to talk to an animal." "It's not convincing." "WAshti!" "Heel!" "Hold it!" "Washti!" "Washti!" "£­ We should call the fairy to come." "£­ Does she know the way?" "£­ Can she walk through walls?" "£­ Certainly, she's a fairy." "If we yell loud enough she will come." "It is impossible to walk through walls." "­ What should we do now?" "­ I don't like all that whispering!" "Mr. Robber, I do not whisper." "But with all this smoke, I can not breathe Can't you open a window?" "The window stays closed." "It has never been opened." "You said your servants lack for nothing ... well I lack air!" "I know now why I have never partnered with a female robber." "Women are troublesome and make life complicated." "­ Please open it all the way." "­ Typical woman!" "Insatiably greedy." "If you give them a finger, they want the whole hand!" "Fairy Amaryllis!" ", Fairy Amaryllis!" "Fairy Amaryllis!" "Have you all gone mad?" "Who are you calling?" "Is anyone out there?" "To scare me like that!" "You have no idea how we robbers respond to such situations!" " Ah!" " Huah!" " Ah!" "­ Who are you, you uninvited guest, you?" "!" "­ Who is calling me?" " Fairy Amaryllis thank God you are here!" "­ What can I do for you?" "Free us from this predator!" "Here?" "In a kitchen?" "In front of a stove?" "Amaryllis!" "What is wrong?" "In a kitchen I have no magical powers." "Oh!" "Believe me, I have already thought of a place where we can make magic together." "There it is." "See, over there." "Only a trained eye, of course can see that this is the entrance!" "Quiet down or he will hear us." "Stay close to me!" "If it serves the cause of the investigation ..." "Here we must proceed with extreme caution" "Oh, I have to stay outside, do I?" "We must expect to trigger a trap at any moment." "A trap?" "Ah, the residence of a policeman is both luxurious and spacious." "Of course!" "You're nothings!" "You're useless failures." "What is the world coming to when fairies can't even conjure any magic?" "How far down we have slid." "That it has come to this -- that only robbers should know how to manage successfully." "I have an idea worth its weight in gold" "You?" "­ When I say:"the exploding mushroom ..." ­ What did you say?" "­ Nothing important." "­ I want to know what you said." "­ I just said ..." " You sit to here!" "Immediately!" " Ouch" "­ I only said I don't like eating mushrooms." "­ You will eat whatever is on the table." "No, please!" "No mushrooms!" "Eat it all!" "Every last one." "Eat it all up." "Yummy, is it not, Seppel?" "The mushrooms really aren't too bad." "What's the matter?" "I'm suddenly not feeling very good, grandmother." "I think the exploding mushrooms might be in there." "­ Exploding mushrooms?" "­ Yes, exploding mushrooms." "­ Did you say exploding mushrooms?" "­ Exploding mushrooms?" "­ Yes Grandmother, kaboom!" "­ Exploding mushrooms?" "Good heavens, without my glasses I must not have seen." "Mr. Robber must have gathered them by mistake." "Bah, I have never heard of this." "I haven't heard of this either." "Of course you've heard of them." "What's the matter with him?" "He has a stomach ache from the exploding mushrooms." "You can see that!" "Help me!" "My stomach!" "­ This is terrible!" "And there's nothing I can do to help!" "­ His belly is going to explode!" "My God!" "It will tear him from the inside out!" "Hurry, tie me up, otherwise I will explode!" "Yes of course!" "We must wrap him up, otherwise he will explode!" " Such a misfortune!" "Don't explode Seppel!" "­ Tie me up quickly Kasperl!" "Hurry!" "Even tighter!" "And my feet!" "­ What are you feeling there, in the belly?" "­ Thank you." "­ You saved my life ­ At the start, there, I want to know" "­ I told you I didn't want to eat them." "­ I ate it too ... and a lot more than he did." " Look, his belly is starting to grow!" " Yes, I can see that even without glasses." "Really!" "Yes, yes - it's true" "You have to help me." "I'm bursting!" "Please!" "No." "No!" "­ No, Absolutely not!" "­ Not me either." "You want me to explode?" "Huh?" "I ..." "You have to help me, please" "Tie me up!" "Save me!" "Hurry!" "This gun has to stay on the outside." "Tighter!" "Much tighter!" "It is still much too loose." "Am I going to explode?" "Just a little tighter son." "Your too weak" "It has to be tighter!" "So!" "So!" "Keep going!" "Done." "Pure pleasure!" "Robber Hotzenplotz falls into our trap." "The exploding head really believes there are exploding mushrooms!" "If I didn't know they didn't exist I would already have died of fear." "­ You've done well, Seppel." "­ You criminals!" "Bandits!" "Truly shameless!" "You fools." "Idiocy!" "idiots ..." "You will untie me right now!" "­ For that you will wait a long time." "­ And just how will you unlock your shackles?" "The key is in my pocket, and you can't get at it unless you untie me." "Do you like pets?" "Certainly!" "There is nothing I would rather have than a pet." "Although I must admit, with crocodiles I have a rather strained relationship." "What a pity." "What, is it raining?" "I don't feel anything." "No one can defeat the Robber Hotzenplotz." "No one." "The one who can defeat me has yet to be born." "I am not afraid of anyone!" "There is nothing and no one that frightens me" "A croc ... co ... dile!" "Haha, yes of course, a crocodile." "Do you really think me so stupid as to fall for another cheap trick?" "You really think, that ... this is..." "Crocodile!" "Help!" "There's a crocodile!" "It will devour us all!" "Remember Kasperl, don't be deceived by appearances." "­ This isn't a crocodile ­ Then what is it?" "Now come on!" "Ui!" "Ui!" "You are under arrest!" "What are you doing" "Any attempt at escape is futile!" "Oh!" "It's the Faerie Amaryllis!" "I need to immediately and urgently ask a favor, if you please." "In the name of the law ... anything   you say can be used against you in a court of law ..." "Don't let him get away again" "We won't catch him for you a third time." "Ui!" "Washti!" "Oh, my Washti!" "My little daschund." "Thank you." "Farewell." "Farewell." "ALL:" "Farewell." "Farewell, Amaryllis, Farewell" "Mr. Dimpfelmoser, look." "What a nice surprise." "­ An officially approved pet!" "­ You lout!" "For us, Sergeant" "CROWD:" "They are coming, they are coming!" "Bravo Kasperl, Bravo Seppel!" "Bravo!" "Bah!" "Over here." "Look here for a photo Mr Robber." "And smile please." "I am the thief Hotzenplotz" "Bravo to me." "I am the great Robber Hotzenplotz." "# The robber Hotzenplotz am I# # No one can catch me# # and if anyone should try# # a screaming would I be#" "# But I did not shout today# # Instead my trusty saw I use# # to find an industrious way# # to quickly cut myself loose.#" "# That I sing today within these walls# # I owe it all to Seppel.#" "# Dimpfelmoser stands and falls# # He really is a deppel#" "# Once I am free# # I will make some noise# # with my fists and my knee# # and kick the crap from those boys. #" "# This saw I absolutely need# # It will compel me out of here#" "# If I was thin, I'd already be freed# # and slink right out, have no fear#" "# I am the robber Hotzenplotz# #I steal anything that I want#" "# I will take whatever you gots# # and before I leave, you can bet I will taunt#" "# The robber Hotzenplotz I am# # My saw have I still#" "# If i want to go on the lamb# # many are the methods that fit the bill#" "# A robber never compromises# # his dignity or honor#" "# Imprisonment, one of life's surprises# # Freedom's temporarily a goner#" "# The robber Hozenplotz am I# # No jail there is can hold me#" "# I'd like to see a clear blue sky# # What makes me happiest is to be free#" "# I'm supposed to spend the next 20 years# # developing a wrinkly forehead#" "# I will get out, I have no fears# # of dying in here, I have no dread#" "# The sun still shines, the light breeze smiles# # I'll escape without a trace# # freed of tribulation and trials# # That sun and breeze upon my face. #" "# The robber Hotzenplotz am I# # I am being tested# # a short vacation, high and dry# #Well-rested, but never bested.#" "# The robber Hotzenplotz am I# #High and Mighty and and dominant#" "# Calculated in my mind's eye# # In prison I'm even preeminent#" "# The robber Hotzenplotz am I# # High and Mighty and and dominant#" "# Calculated in my mind's eye# # In prison I'm even preeminent#" "# Calculated in my mind's eye# # In prison I'm even preeminent# Subitles by Theriot@2014"