"MOURNERS:" "♪ Then sings my soul" "♪ My saviour God, to thee" "♪ How great thou art" "♪ How great thou art" "♪ Then sings my soul" "♪ My saviour God, to thee" "♪ How great thou art" "♪ How great thou art" "♪ When through the woods" "♪ And forest glades I wander" "♪ And hear the birds sing sweetly in the trees" "♪ When I look down" "♪ From lofty mountain grandeur" "♪ And hear the brook" "♪ And feel the gentle breeze" "♪ Then sings my soul" "♪ My saviour God, to thee" "♪ How great thou art" "♪ How great thou art" "♪ Then sings my soul" "♪ My saviour God, to thee" "♪ How great thou art" "♪ How great thou art" "♪ When Christ shall come" "♪ With shouts of acclamation" "♪ And take me home" "♪ What joy shall fill my heart!" "♪ Then I shall bow in humble adoration" "♪ And there proclaim" "♪ My God, how great thou art" "♪ Then sings my soul" "♪ My saviour God... ♪" "Make the most of this beautiful train." "That's it." "Okay." "Yeah." "That's really great, yeah, yeah." "Okay, now as I said before, you're under no obligation to but you can if you want to, give me a tiny little twinkle." "Yeah, that is..." "Lovely." "Great." "A little bit closer." "Now, don't you worry." "You'll be all right." "(CHUCKLES)" "There's just a little bit, that's it." "And you've got an eyelash on your nose." "We don't want that, do we?" "It's supposed to be on your eye, not on your snitch. (LAUGHS)" "That's it." "You've got a lovely smile when you smile, haven't you?" "Right, okay." "Now, you keep that lovely gorgeous smile." "That's lovely." "I think that'll do for the time being." "Well done, Sarah." "That's the easy bit. (CHUCKLES)" "(TAPPING)" "(CHILDREN SHOUTING)" "They make a noise, don't they?" "At least they can play out around here." "I suppose so." " What is it?" " Is that a suit?" "Well, it came as a combination." "Do they go together?" "Well, if you think they do, they do and if you think they don't, they don't." "It's nice." "(SIGHS)" "Twenty-one in August." "She is." "I used to worry meself sick when she played out." "She survived it though, didn't she?" "All things considering." "She's back on the streets now." "I beg your pardon?" "Well, she is, isn't she?" "I don't half-miss her." "I know." "How long is it since we've seen her?" "Two-and-a-half years." "(SIGHS)" "We could always ask her over." " I'd like to." " For her birthday." "It's only a couple of months away." " (CHUCKLES)" " What now?" ""Hey, Roxanne, what are you doing for your 21 st?"" ""I'm goin' over to my auntie and uncle's house for my birthday treat."" "(CHUCKLING)" "It was only a suggestion." "She's probably doing her own thing." "I suppose we'd have to invite Cynthia as well." "There's no show without Punch." "I'm sure she'd like to see the place." "Oh, I'm sure she would." " She can't help it." " Can't she?" "It's about time you showed it off." "I mean, you've done a lovely job." "I think so." "I really must get down to see her." "You speak to her on the phone, don't you?" "It's not the same thing though, is it?" "She's your sister." "I'm really proud of that portrait." "I reckon that's the last time she ever smiled." "I dunno what's got into you lately." "You complaining?" " No." " Well, shut up then." "Sit here on me own for years on end." "Can't get you to stop in at all." " And now you never go out." " Leave it out." "You've been sitting there for a month with a face like a slapped arse." "Well, what's there to smile about?" "I thought he might've phoned at the weekend." "Who?" "Who d'you think?" "I ain't heard from 'im for ages." " He's busy, ain't he?" " We're all busy." "He's got his weddings and that." "It's the summer." "Out of sight, out of mind." "Well, if you're that bothered, why don't you ring him yourself?" "He's your brother." "I'm not running up me phone bill." "He knows where I am if he wants me." "He'd have had us up there to see it by now, I expect, if it weren't for her." "Toffee-nosed cow." "What's he want with six bedrooms, anyway?" "(GAME PLAYING ON TV)" "What's all your mates doing tonight, then?" "I don't know." "I ain't asked 'em." "You wanna get yourself a bloke." "That's what you wanna do." "I've told you." "I don't wanna get anything." "I'm quite happy here, thank you very much." "When I was your age, I could've had the pick of the crop." "Well, why didn't you?" "Because I lost my poor mother, that's why." "Oh, here we go." "I was stuck at home here from the age of 10, looking after Maurice and your granddad." "Yeah, we know." "Then I got saddled with you." "That was my downfall, darling." "I didn't ask to be born." "No, and I never asked to have you, neither." "Well, you should've thought about that before you dropped your knickers." "HORTENSE:" "With..." "Or without?" "I think without." " Without?" "Okay." " Yeah." "What about this one?" "Better with or without?" "I think this time it's with." "With?" "All right, we'll pop this one in, then." "I hear you're a really good runner." " Yeah." "Cross-country." " Have you won anything?" "Not yet." "I've only just started." "Okay, then." "Look up again." "Now, this is gonna blur a bit" " but just tell me what you can read, okay?" " Yeah." "H-L-A-C-T." " Right." " And I can't read any more." "Okay, that's good." "Very good, I'm gonna do your other eye now." " Are you off, then?" " Yeah." "Got any plans for the weekend?" "Well, I've got to go to my mum's house and sort through her things." " Oh, have you?" " Yeah." "Hope it goes all right." " Well, it's gotta be done." " Yeah." " Okay, then." " Right, I'll see you on Monday." "Yeah." " Have a nice weekend." " Cheers." "Ooh, enjoy the christening." " I'll try." "Bye." " Okay." "Bye." "(PEOPLE ARGUING)" "SISTER-IN-LAW:" "It's 10 past." "We've got to pick Shelattica up." "BROTHER 1:" "What are you talking about?" "SISTER-IN-LAW:" "We've got 10 minutes." "BROTHER 1:" "Listen, we've got to sort this out while we're here." "Look, basically, right, it's you, one, here, in this massive house." " Thank you." " This house is massive." "We have got two children, you understand?" " And we could have more." " What?" "We wanna have more." "Listen, right, you can't stay here on your own." "It's not fair, is it?" "I mean, we can sell the house, can't we?" "Sell the house and split the money." "Listen, you know what?" "You could split this whole house in two, right?" "You could split this into two flats and it'd still be bigger than our place." "BROTHER 2:" "Split it in two?" "BROTHER 1:" "Exactly." "BROTHER 2:" "You can't split it in two... (ARGUING CONTINUES)" "Now, let's sort your tie out for you, if I may." " Looks just a little bit skew-whiffy." " Oh, skew-whiff again. (LAUGHS)" "Yes, that's lovely." " Do you want the paper out?" " Yeah, yeah, okay." "You ladies look gorgeous." "Hands together there." "Very nice, okay." "Here we go." "Put your paper down there." "Right then, here we go." "Okay, and..." "Do we say "cheese", Maurice?" "Well, you can if you like, but you can, you can say "cheese"." "You can say whatever you like." "But just give me a little..." "That's it." " Ahhh!" " MAURICE:" "Ah, yeah, very sweet." " (GRUNTING)" " Great, that's lovely." " MAURICE:" "So, that took you 15 years, yeah?" " Yes." " They give you a prize?" " No." "Not even a stethoscope or something?" " (CHUCKLES)" " Lovely." "(COOING)" "MAURICE:" "Yeah, that's really lovely." "Come out, Jane." "I'm so glad he's got his eyes open." "That's it, yeah, that's it, and give him a hand." "Look down." "Lovely." "Are you gonna see that flea collar?" " Are you going to see that?" " MAURICE:" "Don't worry about that." "You come out now, come out." " You just come out the way." " That's it." "MAURICE:" "And pop out now." "And out, and here we go." "I think you left the comb in there that time." "MAURICE:" "Lovely, very good." "Oh, did he look good?" " He does look good, yeah." "So do you." " Oh, good, yes." "Thank you very much, Jane." "That's lovely." " It's for my auntie." " MAURICE:" "Oh, right." "Fond of you, is she?" " No, she's in India." " Oh, right." "Time I got married, innit?" "Oh, I see." "Pick a bride time, is it?" "I've told you, I don't want flash, it..." "MAURICE:" "Ah, lovely!" "(ALL LAUGHING)" "I never thought I'd have any..." "Fertility treatment." "It's a miracle." "Don't do that with your nose." "Now stop it." "Put it there." "That's it." "MAURICE:" "Hello, Dominic." "Now look at that lovely cat, look over there." " Look at that cat." " MOTHER:" "He's lovely." "MAURICE:" "Oh, that's it, let him scratch it first." "MOTHER:" "No!" "MAURICE:" "Go on, that's it, that's it." " Lovely!" " (LAUGHING) I feel so silly." "MAURICE:" "A-ha, lovely and that's it." "Ah, thank you very much." "(HOOVER WHIRRING)" " What d'you think you're doing?" " Sorry." "Didn't you hear me?" "No, I didn't." " Hiya." " What?" " Hiya." " Mind out of the way." " D'you want a drink?" " (WHIRRING STOPS)" "What?" "If I want a drink I'll get it myself, thank you." "Since when was hoovering a spectator sport?" "Can I have a glass, too, please?" "I'm sorry, I thought you didn't want a drink." "I've changed my mind." "I'm having milk." "Not in a wine glass, give me a highball." " You don't put milk in a wine glass." " There you go." " Thank you." " That'll do you good." " Meaning?" " Nothing." " Had a good day?" " Scintillating." "I suppose you'll be starving as usual." "A little bit peckish, yeah." "Do you want me to do something?" " Like what?" " Anything you like." "No, I bloody well wouldn't." " Fair enough." " Oh, all right, then." "There's the fridge, there's the freezer." "There's the hob." "There's the recipe books." "Help yourself." "And don't make a mess." "Unless you fancy a takeaway." "(SIGHS)" "(SOBBING)" " MAURICE:" "You're not gonna smile, are you?" " No." "Okay, it's a free world." "MAURICE:" "Now, you're under no obligation, but you can if you want to give me a lovely big smile." "And thank you." "MAURICE:" "Oh, go on." "Come on." "Lovely." "MAURICE:" "You're under no obligation to me, but you can smile if you like." " (CHUCKLES)" " Yeah, thank you." " Did you smile, Mother?" " No." "MAURICE:" "That's it, to me." "That's it, now look at each other." " (BOTH GIGGLING)" " That's it, it'll probably be all right." "Go on, look up, keep your face up." "That's lovely." "Ah, you're closing your eyes." "(SIGHS)" "Don't forget to burp it properly." "Give it a drop of Gripe Water." "We used to pour it down Roxanne by the gallon." "She farted like a trouper." "Runs in the family." "Would madame care to test the temperature?" "I'm sure it'll be fine." "Thanks." "Been bad, has it?" "It eased off at lunchtime." "I managed a couple of crackers." "(CHUCKLES)" "It's unpredictable, isn't it?" "No, it's not unpredictable." "You've drawn the short straw, mate." "(SIGHS) You're telling me." "I wish it was unpredictable." "What're you gonna have for your tea?" "Do you know what I really fancy?" " What?" " A steak." "You're not having any steak in this house." "Don't worry about me." "You'll be keeling over with a heart attack." " I'll do meself something later." " There's a chicken Kiev in the freezer." "Be a bit cold, wouldn't it?" " (SCOFFS)" " Anyway..." "I'm on a diet." "You're disgusting." "MAURICE:" "Okay, that's very good." "We can see the ring perfectly." "All right now, sir, if you just bring your chin up." "Yeah, just slightly, that's perfect." "That's brilliant, all right, great." "Sorry, sorry, listen, um, take your glasses off." "I don't want to take my glasses off." "(WHISPERS) Go on, take them off." "MAURICE:" "Doesn't matter." "Keep them on, take them off." " No, he looks better without them." " It's what I look like, okay." "MAURICE:" "Right, okay, and to me..." "One moment, please." "Can you take the cross out, please?" " Hmm?" " Take the cross out." "It's a gift, take it out." "I just think it looks awful." "It doesn't look awful." "It looks awful, because it's not gold." "I told you, buy gold." "MAURICE:" "Okay, right." "(SPEAKING GREEK)" "Okay, and to me, yeah, right, that's lovely." "Now, do you want to look happy or sad?" "I don't mind, whatever." "And keep your..." "And look at me." "And lovely." "Hello." "My name's Hortense Cumberbatch." "I got your letter." "Hi." "Oh, right." "Tuesday." "(PHONE RINGING)" "RECEPTIONIST:" "Hello?" "Hortense, hello." "Jennie Ford." " Nice to meet you." "Come this way." " Oh, hi." " How are you?" "All right?" " Fine, thank you." " Good." " I'm sorry about this prison cell." "We've been banging on about it for years, but there you go." "Have a seat, make yourself at home." "(DOOR CLOSES)" "Now, before we go any further, have you got any ID?" " Passport, driving licence." " Yeah." "You'll have to get used to all this red tape." "Would you like a Rolo?" " No, thank you." "Yeah." " Are you sure?" "There you go." "Hmm." "Let's have a shifty." "That's great." "Hortense." "Thank you." " Are you on your lunch break?" " Yeah, an extended one." " Have you had any lunch?" " No, not yet." "No." "Me, neither." " So, what do you do?" " I'm an optometrist." "Oh, really?" "Oh, God." "It's one of those things you keep putting off and putting off, isn't it?" "And I've got to the stage now with the Guardian crossword, where I'm going like this, so I think the time has come, don't you?" "I'll have to pop in, you can give me a test." " Where do you live?" " Kilburn." " Right, right, in a flat?" " Yes." " Do you share?" " No, I live on my own." "Oh, right." "I lived on my own." "For about six years, before I was married." "It's all right, isn't it?" "(CHUCKLES)" "Right, Hortense." "Let's talk a little bit about you, shall we?" "Now obviously you've been giving a great deal of thought to things and you've come to a decision, which is good." "But for me, the question is, "Why now?"" "I just feel that it's the right time, that's all." "Right, right." " Are you thinking about getting married?" " No." " Do you have children?" " No." "Are you thinking about having children?" "(CHUCKLING) No." "That's fair enough." "Are you sharing this with your parents?" "Do they know that you're here today?" "How do they feel about it?" "They're both dead, actually." "Oh, right." "Yeah, Mum died two months ago now." "Oh, that's recent." "I'm sorry to hear that." " Was it sudden?" " Yeah." "Perhaps that's what's made you start all this." "I don't know." "It's possible." "Well, I'm not trying to replace her." "She's irreplaceable." " Well, they both are." " No, of course, of course." "And when you were growing up, was it, was it a happy environment?" " Yes, very." " Oh, good, good." "And did you, um..." "Were you able to discuss the fact that you'd been..." "No, it was never really an issue." "Right, right." "So, you've only just found out?" "Oh, no, they told me when I was little." "Oh, good, good." "And do you remember how you felt about that?" "Well, it's not exactly something you forget, is it?" "No, no. (CHUCKLES) I'm sure it isn't." "So, how did you feel?" "Well, we all just got on with it as a family." "Do you know what I mean?" "Yeah." "Perhaps you should've discussed it." "My parents loved me and that was all that matters, isn't it?" "Yeah, yeah." "So, now that we've got you here, what are your expectations?" "Basically, I just want to know." "Yeah, yeah, of course, you do." "Let me share something with you, Hortense." "Somewhere out there, and we don't know where, is your birth mother..." "Now, she's probably married." "Perhaps not." "She may have other children." "She might be dead." "She may even be in Australia or somewhere." "We just don't know." "But what we do know is..." "That at the time she gave you up for adoption, she was under the impression that she would probably never see you again." "Now, as I know you're very well aware, the law has changed since then..." "And you are now legally entitled to seek your birth mother out." "But the snag is..." "She might not want to see you." "So, I don't want you to raise your hopes too high at this stage." " Sure." " Okay?" "Have a look at this." "What is it?" "It's all about you." "I'll tell you what." "I'll leave it with you" " and I'll pop back in a few minutes." " Yeah." " Can I get you anything?" " No, thank you." "(DOOR CLOSES)" "How are you doing?" "All right?" "Thank you." "(SNIFFLING)" "Cynthia Rose Purley, that's her?" "Cynthia Rose." "It's a nice name, isn't it?" " That's her signature?" " Mmm-hmm." "That feel strange?" "Elizabeth, that's my middle name." "They must have kept it." "Well, that would be your birth name, you see?" "Elizabeth Purley." "(SIGHS)" "Listen, is there any way I could get a copy of these?" "No, those are the originals and they're yours to keep." "That's your right under the 1975 Act." "I've made copies upstairs." "Shall I pop those in here for you?" "So..." "What we need to do now is..." "You go away and have a think." "And, when the time's right, and not before, you know, it's very much in your own time, come back to me if that's what you want." "And we'll get the ball rolling." "Now it can be a very long-winded process and there's no two ways about it." "It's a very traumatic journey we're embarking on." "And there may be other people's feelings to consider, too." "So, I'll wait to hear from you." "Okay?" "You, you could decide to trace your birth mother by yourself, if you wanted, but I wouldn't advise it." "We're a professional service." "And we know how to handle these things." "So, I think you should take advantage of us." " Hello." " Oh, you're back, hello." " I think I've found a mistake." " I'm sorry, Hortense," " I can't stop." "I'm really in a hurry." " Look, it says she's white." "Sorry?" ""Mother, white"." "Well, it's perfectly feasible that your mother was white, isn't it?" "Look, I'm, I'm sorry, Hortense, really, I've got to go." "I'm on an emergency case." "Yes, but could this be a mistake?" "I very much doubt it." "Look, give me a ring in the morning, and we'll have a talk then." "Okay, I'm sorry." "Look at that." " Legs like a teenager!" " Do you have to?" " You'd like a pair like that." " What for?" "I'm known for my legs." "If you got it, flaunt it." "Are you going out?" "'Course I ain't." "(KNOCK ON DOOR)" "Who's that?" "I don't know." "If it's what's-her-name you could ask her to come in." "I don't even know who it is yet." "What are you doing here?" "Just come to see you." "Well, you can't come in, my mum's here." " CYNTHIA:" "Who is it?" " I'm going out." "Hello." "You all right, sweetheart?" "Would you get inside?" " Nothing's changed much." " PAUL:" "No." "Ain't your mum been round looking after you?" "She came round Sunday after mass." "Didn't take you long to mess it up again." "She's laying off me a bit now, though." " I should think so too at your age." " Yeah." "She should have a word with my mum." "I'll bet she misses you, though." "Fucking do without it altogether, I tell you." "Yeah, I know what you mean." "You and me, mate, we're better off without them." "Look, I'm sorry about, you know?" "So you should be." "Don't get all serious on me, Paul." " No, no, I ain't." " Yes, you are, you fool." "Just missed you." "How much?" "A lot." " Just a lot?" " No..." "Yeah." "Well, I might've missed you a bit." "No." "I've been going outta me head." "Same as that." "Just so's you know, I ain't staying the night, not every time I come round." "And I weren't in a strop before." "I was just speakin' my mind, all right?" "Now give us a snog." "(BREATHING DEEPLY)" " Hello." "Good afternoon." " Hello." "Thank you very much indeed." "Right, that's fine." " Is that a post or collect?" " Collect, please." "Thanks very much." "That's £6, please, madam." "£6, okay." "I saw her, you know." " Did ya?" " Yeah." "8:00 in the morning, she's down Harlesden buying her yam and banana..." "And she's like, "You got a boyfriend yet, Dionne?"" "(LAUGHS)" "Nearly everyone who went to the funeral reckoned they'd seen her and she'd given them some kinda sign." "(MIMICKING) "Me see you mother two days before she dead." ""And she hold onto me hand and look in me eye, as if she did know."" "(BOTH LAUGHING)" "I mean, if she knew, I wish she'd told us." "You're getting better, though." "It's a nice day." "Yeah." "I dunno, my head can't contain it all." "It's too soon." "(SIGHS)" "There's nothing rational about grief." "Maybe you're crying for yourself." " You been out much?" " No, I can't." "Some days I'm completely vulnerable." "I can feel everything." "Other days I'm numb." " Well d'you want to come out with me?" " No." " I got stuff to sort out." " What?" "Life." "Look, if there's anything I can do..." "No, thanks, I'll be all right." "Have you heard from Bernard?" "No." "Yes." "He sent a sympathy card." "Oh." "Which I thought was a very nice thing to do." "(BOTH LAUGHING)" "I did something really bad." "Oh, no, I don't think I can deal with no confession." "Cleanse my soul." " Mmm-mmm." " I did the do." " Do it." " Did the deed." " Did it." " With a complete stranger." " No, who?" " Dunno. (LAUGHS)" "Well, what'd he look like?" "Dunno." "He was in advertising." "Oh, Lord!" "(LAUGHING)" " Did you use a condom?" " Yes." "Did you use two?" "Yes." "One on top of the other?" "One after the other." " Oh, God!" " (LAUGHING)" "Do you despair of me?" " No." " Yes, you do." "I don't." "Did you have a good time?" "Yeah." " That's all that matters then, innit?" " Yeah." "I liked my mum as a person, but I didn't know her." "I wish I'd known her." "She loved you." "Yeah, I know, but that's not in debate, is it?" "My mum, she resents me." "She kept you." "She fed you, and she clothed you." "She didn't give you away." "She could've." " I wish she had." " No, you don't." "(SIGHS)" "The thing is they're so secretive." "It's that "back home" thing, you know." "Come out, big people are talking." "That sort of vibe." "So, you don't pursue things because you're brought up not to." "I just let 'em get on with it." "All I seem to do is think about things I wish I could've asked her." "Like what?" "I dunno." "There's stuff I wish I knew." " There's stuff I wish I didn't know." " No." "If you knew you had a limited amount of time, you'd sort it out." "You'd ask your mum questions regardless of whether she got vexed." "Like, I don't know." "What happened between her and your dad, for example." "No." "She hasn't made no effort for me, so why should I be interested in her?" "And where's my dad, anyway?" "I don't want to hear her and Norbert having it off." "I don't want her to know who I'm having it off with." "And I don't want her to see me drunk." "I don't want her to know nothing about me." "Maybe that's because you're frightened that when you look at her you can see yourself in 20 years' time." "Please." "We choose our parents." "How do you mean?" "We choose the parents in this life, that can teach us something." "So, that when we go into the next life we get it right." "(WHOOSHES)" "(SCOFFS)" "'Course, sometimes it don't work, does it?" "I'm gonna pop out for a couple of hours." " What time will you be back?" " 4:30." " Okay, have fun." " Thanks." "Sorry to interrupt." "Could you get me a few of these things in?" " Right." " I'm a bit low." "I'll give them a ring." "17." "Hello." "Bloody hell!" "What you doing here?" "Thought I'd come and see you." "Where's Monica?" "She's at home, I think." "(CHUCKLES) You gonna let me in then?" "Yeah, of course." "D'you want a cup of tea?" "Yes, please." "You all right, then?" "Smashing." "You been working down this way?" "Yeah, round the back of Tower Bridge." "If I'd known you was comin' I'd have warmed up the seat." "Warm enough, I should think." "Does Monica know you've come round here?" "No." "I didn't know I was comin' meself." "She's okay, then?" "Yeah, she's fine." "Been busy with the house." "What doing?" "I thought it was supposed to be a new house, you said." "Stencilling." "What, drawing?" "No." "Stencils." "On the wall." "Decorating." "You must've seen it in magazines." "It's very effective." "Roxanne not in, then?" "She's got some bloke in tow." "Has she?" "Shifty-lookin' bleeder." " Walks like a crab." " (CHUCKLES)" " Your tea's there." " Ta." "D'you want a sandwich?" "No, thanks." "Is that all you're havin'?" "I only see her first thing in the morning." "She comes in, grunts, then buggers off to work." "You should be glad she's got a fella." "I am glad, Maurice." "I want her to be happy." "But I'd like her to bring him round, see who she's knocking about with." "Just give her a bit of time." "You used to bring your girlfriends home." "Front of the telly." "Laugh, drink." "You didn't mind me sittin' there, did you?" "What's her name?" "Never stopped talkin'." " Tina." " Tina." "Then the other one wouldn't open her mouth." " Maxine." " That's it." "Dad liked her, didn't he?" "Nice thighs." "So, how's work, then?" " Still at the same place?" " Yeah." "I gotta get her something for her birthday." "It's her 21 st, Maurice." " August the 7th." " I dunno what she wants." "Apart from me under a bus." "That's silly talk." "Me head in the oven." "When are you gonna come and see us, then?" "Eh?" "You know, have a bit of a get-together." "Come on Roxanne's birthday." "We'll have some champagne." "What about Monica?" "(CHUCKLING) Yeah." "She'll be there." "Won't she mind?" "No, it was her idea, actually." "Oh." " How'd you fancy a barbecue?" " If you like." "Anyway, it's about time you saw the house." "Thought you was never going to ask." " Well, I'm asking you now." " You been there nearly a twelvemonth." "Tell Roxanne." "She might not want to come." "She'll say no just to spite me." "Yeah, well, I demand her presence." "Tell her." "What if she wants to bring him?" "Has he got a job, this bloke?" " Scaffolding, she says." " Oh." "It's very well paid." " Is it?" " Yeah." "21." "I can't believe it, Maurice." "I was carrying her when I was 21, wasn't I?" "You was good with nappies." "(CHUCKLES)" "Those safety pins, though." "Phew!" "Never stabbed her though, did you, darling?" "Stabbed meself a couple of times." "17, weren't you?" "I was." "(SIGHS)" "Place is still standing, then?" "Not for much longer." "You should see Dad's room." "What's up with it?" "It's like the Niagara Falls up there." " What's it got, a leak?" " Yeah." "Only when it's raining." "I'll have a look." "Nice to have a man about the place." "I wish I'd known you was coming." "It's dry at the moment." "The whole lot's gonna come down." "Yeah, it does look a bit dodgy, I'll have to admit." " Are you up to date on the rent?" " 'Course I am." "Well, give him a ring." "Get him to do something about it." " It's his responsibility." " Don't be daft, Maurice." "He don't give a toss, does he?" "Well, get someone to look at it." "I'll pay." "Look at all this junk!" "What're you gonna do with it?" "(VOICE BREAKING) Give us a cuddle, Maurice." "Please, sweetheart." "(CRYING)" "Why have you left it so bloody long?" "Well, you know, it's, it's work and..." "Well, there's nothing the matter with your dialling finger." "Well, you can ring me." "You're always too busy, ain't ya?" "Look, um, look..." "Look, sit, sit yourself down." "You're the only one I've got, Maurice." "(CONTINUES CRYING)" "You love me, don't you?" "Hold me tight, Maurice, please." "Sweetheart." "My little brother." "Look at you." "That's the good life for you." "When are you gonna shave, eh?" "Slap your arse." "Why don't you chuck it all out, eh?" "I mean, look at it." "Some of it hasn't been touched since Mum died." "Can you use anything, Maurice, in your new house?" "Fill a space?" "No, thanks." "Thought I might move in 'ere." "Front view." "See the world go by." "(SWITCH CLICKING)" "Remember this?" "Yeah." "That's no use to you, is it?" "(CHUCKLING) I don't think so." "You ain't gonna make me an auntie now, are you?" "Sweetheart." "Listen, Cynth..." "I'd better..." "Better be going." "(SNIFFLES)" "You'll let me know about the barbecue, then, will you, sweetheart?" "Yeah, of course I will." "Tell her, if she can't make it, I'll give her a clump." "Yeah, not before I do." "Hang on." "Shall I say hello to Monica for you?" "If you like, sweetheart." " There you go." " Thanks, darling." "See you." "Ta-ta." "What was your Mum like when your dad died?" "What do you mean?" "How did she cope?" "I don't know." "Too young to remember." "She just got on with it, I suppose, like everybody else." "Did you have to look after Craig?" "What, you mean like your big sister looked after you?" "No, I did not." "My dad never said a word about my mum after she died." "That's men for you." "I hated him for it." "He must've been in real pain." "Maybe he just couldn't share it." "I didn't know what I felt." "I still don't." "Cynthia's antics couldn't have helped him much." "Do you miss Craig?" "Why would I miss Craig?" "Well, he's your brother." " He's in Saudi Arabia, isn't he?" " Yeah." "Well, I don't exactly miss him." "Why?" "Do you miss Cynthia?" "Do you think Roxanne's serious about this scaffolder bloke?" "Oh, she's only known him for five minutes." "Mind you, I was married at her age, wasn't I?" "Yeah." "I wonder if she knows." "What, about us?" "What is there to know about us?" "You know what I mean." "How would she know about that unless you've told her." "I haven't told her." "I hope Cynthia doesn't know, either." "She doesn't." "That's all right then." "No, I meant, if she knows about Cynthia." "Y'know, before she was born." "I don't know." "I don't know." "I mean, she's got a half-brother or half-sister knocking about somewhere." "She's got a right to know." "That's up to Cynthia." "You'd never say anything, would you?" "Of course not." "Good." "Anyway, she must've told her." "She never told her who her father was." "None of us knew who he was." "I wonder if she ever misses him." " Who?" " Roxanne." "You can't miss what you've never had." "Can't you?" "I was gonna kill him." " Poor Cynthia." " Saint Cynthia." "She tried her best." " Did she?" " Yeah." "Yeah." "She did." "She gave me a lot of love." "What shall I tell him if he phones, then?" " Who?" " Maurice." "I don't know." "Tell him what you want." " Are you gonna bring your bloke or not?" " No, I ain't." "Have you asked him?" " (PHONE RINGING)" " No." " Hello?" " That'll be 'im now." " Hello?" " Let me talk to 'im." "Shut it!" "Well, there ain't no one there." "Be one of them perverts." " Sweetheart..." " Mum, will you stop going on about this fuckin' barbecue." "You're going to see him now, ain't you?" "You could ask him." "I don't even know if I want him to go and it ain't for ages anyway." "See you later." " I, Zoe..." " I, Zoe..." " Take you, Darren..." " Take you, Darren..." "To be my husband..." "To be my husband..." "To have and to hold..." "To have and to hold..." "From this day forward..." "From this day forward..." "For better, for worse..." "For better, for worse..." " For richer, for poorer..." " For richer, for poorer..." "In sickness and in health..." "VICAR:" "Darren and Zoe have given their consent and made their marriage vows to each other." "They, have declared their marriage by joining of hands and by the giving and receiving of rings." "I therefore proclaim that they are husband and wife." "(SHUTTER CLICKS)" "Ain't you seeing him tonight, then?" "I'm having an early night." "Keep me company?" "I've got hangover." "You should stop in more often." "You are lookin' after yourself with him, ain't you, sweetheart?" "What d'you mean?" "You know, taking care." "I don't want to ask you nothing personal, darling, but..." "Are you taking the pill?" "That is personal." " Why don't you bring him round?" " Leave it out." "I'd like to meet him." "I wouldn't know him if he stood up in me soup." "Don't hold your breath." "You don't want to leave it up to him, darling." " Men are all the same." " Mum!" "I hope he uses a what's-name..." "Condoms." "Mind your own business!" "They can leak." "You wanna be careful." "You're jealous, ain't ya?" " Where is he tonight, anyway?" " I dunno." "Most likely out giving somebody else one." "That's how I got caught with you." "Running out of the pill." "You could have a coil fitted." " Change the record." " Dr Mulholland make an appointment." " You'd suit the sponge." " Keep your voice down." "I've got a Dutch cap floating around somewhere upstairs." "You could have that." "Run it under the tap." "Bit of talcum powder." " Where are you going?" " I don't have to listen to this." "Sweetheart..." "Roxanne." "Sweetheart, darling..." "I'm only trying to help you." "Leave me alone." " I'm your mother." " Get out of my room!" "It don't matter if you have a little baby." "I'll look after it." " I ain't gettin' pregnant." " I'll give up me job." "It's nothing to do with you!" "Yes, it bloody is!" "I'm not having you dropping it in my door!" "Jesus Christ!" " I'm sorry, darling." "I didn't mean..." " Fuck off!" "You make me sick, you stupid bitch!" "(SOBBING)" "(PHONE RINGING)" "Hello." "I'm sorry to trouble you, but..." "I'm trying to locate a Cynthia Purley." "Yes?" "Is that Cynthia Purley?" "Yes." "Cynthia Rose Purley?" "Yes." "Of 76 Quilter Street?" "Yes." "What is it you want, darling?" "Hello?" "Did you want Roxanne?" "She's gone out." " No." " She ain't in any trouble, is she?" "No." "It's about Elizabeth." "Elizabeth." "Elizabeth who?" "Elizabeth Purley." "Ah, but she's dead." " No, she isn't." " She is, darling," "I should know." "Well, I should know." "Look, sweetheart." "She's me mother." "She went in 1961." "No, I mean baby Elizabeth Purley." "Baby Eliz..." "Who is this?" "She was born on the 23rd of July, 1968." "At..." "Sorry about this..." "Er, yeah." "At the Haven, Wells Grange Avenue, Sutton, Surrey." "(SOBBING)" "Look, I'm sorry I know this must be a shock to you." "(HANGS UP)" "(SOBBING)" "(RETCHING)" "(WATER RUNNING)" "(PHONE RINGING)" "(SHUDDERING)" "Listen, darling, what is it you want?" "I'm really sorry." "(VOICE BREAKING) You mustn't come round here, sweetheart." "I didn't want to upset you." "You mustn't do that." "And you mustn't phone, neither." "I just needed to know." "(SOBBING) Yes, but you can't come round here 'cause no-one knows about you, see?" "Right." "Promise me you won't come round." "Promise me." "Look..." "I've got your address." "If I wanted to come round," " I'd have done it already." " I'm ever so sorry, sweetheart." "I'm a little bit upset." "Promise me you won't come round?" "All right, I promise." "Thank you." "Thank you." "Um..." "Can I meet you somewhere?" "Oh, I shouldn't think so, darling." "See, I've got lots of, um..." "I've got lots of questions I want to ask you." "Yeah, well I gotta go now." "Please..." "What's your name, anyway?" "Eh?" " Hortense." " Hortense?" "Yeah." "Hortense what?" "Cumberbatch." "Clumberbunch?" "That's a funny name, innit?" "Yeah, I suppose it is." "Are you on the phone?" "Yeah, er, do you want to take my number down?" "Oh, I don't think I've got a pencil." "I'll wait." "I've got one." "Er, it's 0171... 219..." "Sorry, 619... 4840." "Yeah, ta-ta." "(EXHALES)" "(PHONE RINGING)" "Hello?" "Hello?" "Do you want to meet me or not, then?" "Oh, hello?" "Yes or no." "It's up to you." "Well, yeah, of course, I want to meet you." "Well, then..." "Are you sure about this?" "I mean, if you're not sure..." "Where do you want to meet me?" "Well, where would you like to meet?" "I don't know." "Anywhere." "Not here, though." "No, of course not." "Er, what about outside Holborn Tube Station?" "Holborn." "(SNIFFLES) When?" "What are you doing this Saturday coming?" "Nothing." "I'm never bloody doing anything." "Saturday, then." "What time?" " 7:30?" " Half-past 7:00." "Now, listen, you mustn't phone me here again." "Do you understand me?" "Otherwise, I won't come and meet you." "Now, I'll see you on Saturday." "Hello?" "Don't even know what you look like." "(SIGHS)" " Hello, sweetheart." " What's for tea?" " Got you a bit of steak." " What for?" " Little treat for ya." " Ain't you having none?" "Oh, I'll just fry myself an egg." "Do you want a beer?" " We ain't got none." " I got you some." "Oh, did you?" " Are you going out?" " No, I'm stayin' in." "I'm gonna have a few early nights." "I've decided." "Excuse me." " Yeah, what is it, sweetheart?" " Are you Cynthia?" " Yeah, how'd you know?" " Hello, I'm Hortense." "What you talking about?" "Hortense Cumberbatch." "I spoke to you on the telephone." " What?" "That was you?" " Yeah." "Oh, no, no, sweetheart." "No, darling." "You've been ringing the wrong person." "Cynthia Purley." " Where'd you get my name from, anyway?" " It's on my birth certificate." "What are you talking about on your birth certificate?" "It can't be." "It's got your name and your address on it." "There." "No, that's all wrong, darling." "They've made a mistake down the offices." "You wanna get down there, get that sorted." "That's someone having' a joke." "I don't think so." "Let me have a look at that." "I'm ever so sorry, sweetheart." "(CRYING) It must be a bit of a disappointment for you." "Look, I really think you ought to see these documents." "Why, what is it?" "Why don't we, er, go somewhere and have..." "And sit down?" "No, I think I'd better be going, darling." "Here, look, you've come all this way." "Please?" "Let's..." "Let's go and have a cup of tea or something." "There's places down there." "Come on." "I hope you find your mum, sweetheart." " You keep lookin'." "Go on." " No, thanks." "I don't smoke." "Oh." "Nor should ya." "My daughter smokes like a chimney." " You got a daughter?" " Yeah." "Ain't never been in here before." "They shouldn't go raising your hopes like that." "It ain't fair." "Is this your signature?" "This is stupid." "I don't understand it." " I mean, I can't be your mother, can I?" " Why not?" " Well, look at me." " What?" "Listen, I don't mean nothing by it, darling, but I ain't never been with a black man in my life." "No disrespect, nor nothing." "I'd have remembered, wouldn't I?" "Oh, bloody hell." "(CRYING) Oh, Jesus Christ almighty!" "I'm sorry, sweetheart." "I'm so ashamed." "You shouldn't be ashamed." "I can't look at you." "I didn't know, sweetheart." "Honest, I didn't know." "What didn't you know?" "I didn't know you was black." "See, I..." "I thought they'd got the dates all wrong." "All this time, I thought you was born six..." "Six weeks premature, but you weren't." "You wasn't." "Who was he?" "You don't want to know that, darling." "I do." "Listen, I want to be honest with you, but I can't tell you that, sweetheart." "I'm sorry." "I'm sorry." "Look at ya." "It's a bit..." "I'm a bit of a disappointment to you, ain't I?" "No." "You don't have to say that, darling." "I know." "You've been better off without me, I can tell you that much." "I done you a good turn." "Your tea getting's cold." "(SOBBING)" "What's your mum like, then?" "Does she mind you lookin' for me?" "My mum died recently." "Oh, I'm sorry." "What about your dad?" " He's dead and all." " Oh." "(SOBBING)" " Are you married?" " No, no, um, I ain't, er..." "I ain't married, sweetheart." " Are you?" " No." "I'll bet you got a boyfriend though, ain't ya?" "No, not at the moment." "Oh, a nice lookin' girl like you?" "Have you got a boyfriend?" "I give 'em all a wide berth." "They got me into enough trouble in the past, ain't they?" "(LAUGHING)" "(SOBS)" "(SOBBING)" " You got a job, have ya?" " Yeah." "That's good." "What doing?" "I'm an optometrist." "Eh?" "I test eyes." "Optician." "Are you?" "Well..." "There's a turn-up." "What do you do?" "I work in a factory." "Do you like it?" "Well, it pays the rent." "How about your daughter?" "She works for the Council." " Have you got any sisters?" " No, two brothers." "Are they, um, adopted?" "No." "What do they do?" "One's a computer salesman and the other one's got his own garage." "I bet your mum was proud of you, wasn't she?" " Yeah, she was." " Yeah, 'course she was." "I'd have been proud." "(BREATHING DEEPLY)" "Why didn't you want to see me?" "Well, 'cause nobody knows about you, sweetheart." "I don't want to upset me daughter, do I?" "I mean, when I was born." "Well, I couldn't." "I was too upset, see?" "They wanted me to look at ya." "They wanted me to hold you, but I couldn't..." "I just couldn't. (CRYING)" "I didn't know if I was coming or going." "I was only a little girl meself, 16." "I didn't have no choice." "If I'd have seen you, I'd have wanted to keep you." "You do believe me, don't you, sweetheart?" "I don't blame you, darlin'." "You've only just found out?" "No, I've known since I was seven." " What?" "Your mum and dad told you, did they?" " Yeah, they did." "They sound like nice people." "Yeah." "My mum told me on the plane on our way back from Barbados." "Little girl." "Was you upset?" "I just looked out at the clouds." "Haven't you ever thought about me?" "Yeah, 'course I have." "But it ain't no good pining over what you ain't got, is it?" "But didn't you think I'd look for you?" "No, I didn't, as it happens." "Wish you hadn't bothered now, don't you?" "No, I'm glad." "I don't want to disrupt your family or anything." "I just had to see you." "I had to know who you were." "Listen, I want to wish you all the best, sweetheart, whatever you do." "And I'll be thinkin' of you." "Bit quiet, ain't ya?" "What's up?" " You goin' out?" " Yeah, in a bit." "You feelin' all right?" "Oh, there's nothing the matter with me, sweetheart." "Nothing at all." " Did you find anything today?" " Frozen chicken." " What, in the road?" " No, in a bin." "It was still cold." "Some dirty magazines." " Did you bring them home?" " No." "Still, I suppose there are worse jobs." "Gotta laugh, ain't you, sweetheart?" "Else you'd cry." "(PHONE RINGING)" "Hello?" " Is that Hortense?" " Speaking." "It's Cynthia." "Hello." "I didn't think you'd be in." "I am." "Well, I just, um, wanted to ring up and say..." "How nice it was to meet you yesterday." "That's all." "Thank you." "Been thinkin' about you all day." "I've been thinking about you." "Yeah, well, um..." "I just wanted to say that." "Thank you." "I don't know what to say now." "Daft, ain't it?" "(CYNTHIA EXHALES)" "Got home all right, did you?" "Yeah, thank you." "What have you been doing today?" "Oh, just out the back sunning meself." "What you been doing?" "Just chillin' out, really." "Yeah, hot, ain't it?" "Yeah." "Well, that all I wanted to say, sweetheart." "Ta-ta, then." "I'd really like to see you again." " Would ya?" " Yeah." "Oh, that'd be nice." "Do you like Italian food?" "Yeah." "Eat anything, me." "Chinese, kebabs, the lot." "(LAUGHING)" " What?" " Nothing." "It's great." " MAURICE:" "And..." " (SHUTTER CLICKS)" "Okay, other side, please." " And..." " (SHUTTER CLICKS)" "Lovely." "So if you bring your face round this way, please." "Can you shut the door, please?" "Yeah, sure." "Sorry." "So, who did your original photographs?" "My dad, actually." "But my solicitor said that they weren't good enough." "Do you have a police photographer?" " No." " (SHUTTER CLICKS)" "I'm just gonna come in a bit closer." "So I hope you don't suffer from claustrophobia." "No, I don't actually." "That's good." " Okay, so I'm just gonna move your..." " Thank you." "Sorry." "That's great." " Okay." "And..." " (SHUTTER CLICKS)" "A little bit closer." "Now, I know this isn't very nice." "But it's gotta be done, hasn't it?" "I want them to look as bad as possible." "Of course." "I lost my job." "I was good at my job." "What did you do?" "I'm a beauty consultant." "Okay." "Now, if you just bring your chin up." "Put it up there." " Lovely, and..." "That's it." " (SHUTTER CLICKS)" "So, what actually happened to you?" "My seat belt was broken, I went through the windscreen." "It wasn't my car." "I wasn't driving." "It wasn't my fault." " Yeah, you said." " It wasn't." "(SHUTTER CLICKS)" "Are you okay?" "Mmm-hmm." "Did the driver sustain any injuries?" "No, unfortunately." "He's obviously not in your good books." "I ain't seen him since." "I don't want to see him, either." "Life isn't fair, is it?" "Someone always draws the short straw." "Okay, that's very good." "Yeah." "(SHUTTER CLICKS)" "One more." " Here's your receipt." " Thank you." "So, if you give us a ring in the morning, we'll see what we can do." "Fine." "Bye, then." "Mind how you go." "Oh, Maurice, that's terrible." "JANE:" "How'd she do that then?" "MAURICE:" "Car crash." "JANE:" "Oh, she's so lovely." "MAURICE:" "Not any more, she isn't." "JANE:" "It's tragic." "MAURICE:" "She's getting some ear hole from that dosser now." "Oh, he's been looking at me." "Gives me the creeps." "I don't believe it." "JANE:" "How much money do you think she'll get, then?" " What?" " Insurance." "Oh, if she's lucky, 15, 20 grand." "I don't know what I'd do if it happened to me." "Think I'd kill meself." " Hello." " Hiya." " Didn't expect to see you." " Oh, I'm terribly sorry." "Hello, Monica." "Hi, Jane." "Just been for a facial." "I'm dying for a cup of tea." " Look over there." " What?" " That bloke." " What bloke?" "See who it is?" "MONICA:" "What?" "By the lamppost?" "MAURICE:" "Yeah." "It's Stuart Christian, isn't it?" " No." " It is." " But he's in Sydney." " Is he?" "He's coming over." "MAURICE:" "Doesn't look very well, does he?" " There's that man!" " MAURICE:" "It's all right, Jane, we know him." "Do ya?" "What does he want?" "God knows." "Well, it's over to you then, buster." "MAURICE:" "Thanks very much." "(DOOR OPENS)" "MAURICE:" "Hello, Stuart." "STUART:" "Maurice." "(DOOR CLOSES)" "Long time no see." "Yeah." "How's things?" " Fine, thanks." "Fine." " Good." "You're looking well." " You're still here, then." " Yep." "Good." "I thought we'd lost you to Australia." "Well..." " How's the wife and kids?" "Maureen." " Monica." "Haven't got any kids." "STUART:" "Haven't you?" "MAURICE:" "No." "She's great, thanks." " Good on you, mate." " Hmm." "You still in the game?" "Look at all this." "What are you doing?" "It's lost its style, Maurice." "Has it?" "Looks like a dentist's waiting room." "(CHUCKLING)" "I'd kill for a cup of tea." "If you're 21, or a millionaire, it's great." "Or you've got nine kids..." "You're fine." "Brilliant." "Open arms." "But for guys like you and me, it doesn't matter how good you are." "Forget it." "But it was an experience and now I'm back." "That's too bad." "You were full of such big plans as well." "STUART:" "Well, it's a big place." "That's true." "Too fuckin' big." "You're looking as gorgeous as ever, Monica." "So, Stuart, are you thinking about setting up again?" "No, forget it." "Too much of a pain." "You know what it's like, Maurice." "You sweat your balls off for years." "You try and make people happy and what do you get back?" "Nothing." "MONICA:" "Thanks." "Oh, by the way, Stuart, this is Jane, my assistant." "This is Mr Christian, the gentleman I bought the business from." " Hello." " Hiya, Jane." " I hope he's treating you well." " He's all right." "You can work for me any time." "I'm all right where I am, thank you." "Your wife must've been sorry to come back." "Which wife?" "Ah, that bitch?" "She never came out there in the first place." "Oh." "So, where are you living at the moment, Stuart?" " Down in Grays." " Essex." "Yeah." "My mum's place." "MAURICE:" "Must be nice for her." "Having her boy to fuss over." "She's dead." "She died when I was still in Bangkok." "Oh!" "MAURICE:" "Sorry to hear that." "MONICA:" "That's a shame." "Didn't see much of her, anyway." "It's my dad I miss." "You win some, you lose some." "You must've had some lovely weather in Australia." "Too hot." "It's too hot over there, it's too cold over here." "STUART:" "Hasn't changed much in here." "MAURICE:" "Just a lick of paint." "Still got the Bronika, then?" "Yep." "I should've thought you'd be able to afford a Hasselblad by now, Maurice." "I can." "Oh, well-off, are ya?" "(CHUCKLES) Surviving, mate." "Yeah." "Yeah." "You've done very well out of my business, haven't ya?" "MAURICE:" "My business." " No, it's my business, Maurice." " No, Stuart, no." "Used to be your business." "I bought it from you." "It's my business." " Listen." "This was an antique shop." " That's right." " There was nothing here." " That's right, I know." "I gave you my goodwill." "I gave you my clientele." "I gave you my fucking reputation." "You gave me nothing, Stuart." "With all due respect, your client list was shit." "It wasn't." "I followed it up." "I wrote to them, I rang 'em." "I didn't get one bite." "Now, if there's any success in this shop, it's down to me." "That's bollocks!" "No, it's not bollocks, Stuart." "It's the truth." "How many weddings do you do?" "Oh, enough." "How many?" "Er, about 40 a year." "I used to do 140." " What, personally?" " No, not personally." "No." " Nobody does them personally." " I do." "Well, then, you're a bloody fool." "You get people in." "Get 'em out there." "If the work's there, take it." "You got to grab it while you can." "It's not in my interest to get some tosser in." "I mean, I'll have no control." " He could fuck up my reputation." " I'm not a tosser." " I didn't say you were." " I'm not a fuckin' tosser." " I'm not talkin' about you." " Don't call me a tosser." "I wasn't talking about you, Stuart." "STUART:" "I can still do it." "I've still got an eye." "They can't teach you that." "I'm still a photographer." "'Course you are." "So if you want someone to help you out, no worries, mate." "I'll be all right." "Right, right." "I..." "I see what you're saying, Stuart, yeah." "I'll bear it in mind." " You could lend me a camera." " Yeah, sure." "I've had mine nicked." "Yeah, great." "Thanks." "Sure." "MONICA:" "I thought we were never gonna get rid of him." "There, but for the grace of God." " Tea's on the table." " (MUSIC PLAYING ON TV)" "Right." " Ain't you having none?" " No." "Why not?" "I'm going out." "Where are you going?" "(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)" "I'm off now, then, sweetheart." "Ain't you gonna tell me where?" "You never tell me where you're going." "But you don't never go nowhere." "Well, I'm going somewhere tonight." "Ta-ta." "Have fun." "Don't wait up." "(DOOR CLOSES)" "She's been acting right funny." " Where's she gone?" " Oh, fuck knows." "She wouldn't tell us." "He's all right, though, Maurice." "He's always got plenty of wine in and that." " We'll get well-pissed." " Yeah, nice one." "I'm a little bit shy of you, to tell you the truth, sweetheart." "Me?" "Oh, you shouldn't be." "Look at you, sitting there." " You look like a model." " (CHUCKLING) Oh, do I?" "I bet you was a pretty little girl, wasn't you?" "Yeah." "Lovely." "Don't do that!" " You'll stay like it." " (LAUGHS)" "Stop it!" "Don't spoil it." "I used to drive my mum mad, pulling faces." "Did you?" "I bet she was a laugh, wasn't she?" "No, not really." "Thought you said she was a midwife." "Yeah, she was." "Yeah, I'd like to have been one of them." "I love babies." " I'm sorry, darling." " It's all right." "Cheers." "Cheers." "Is that all right for you?" "Yeah, it's lovely." " Wet, ain't it?" " (CHUCKLES)" "Where is this food, then?" "I'm ravishing." "(LAUGHS)" "What?" "I've got so many things I wanna ask you, but I can't remember what they are." "Nice to have somebody to talk to, innit?" " Give us your hand here." " Oh..." "Oh, you've got beautiful skin." "Right, let's have a look at you." "What, can you read palms?" "I used to." "Ain't done it for years." "Nobody's interested no more." "Now, if I didn't know you," "I could see just by lookin' here what a nice girl you are." " Big heart." " (CHUCKLES)" "Ooh, you're gonna live to a ripe old age an' all." "Let's have a look." " Couple of kids." "Do you want babies?" " Wow." "I'm not sure, really." "Oh, don't ya?" " Maybe, I don't know yet." " Yeah, 'course you do." "CYNTHIA:" "And what star sign are you?" "HORTENSE:" "Leo." "I'm on the cusp of Cancer." " And when's your birthday?" "Oh." " (CHUCKLES) 23rd of July, ain't it?" "You'd think I'd know that, wouldn't ya?" "That was the other day, wasn't it?" "Yeah, Sunday." "Well, why didn't you say nothing when I phoned ya?" "It's not a big deal." " D'you have a party?" " No." "What d'you do, then?" "Stayed in, read me book, had a little drink." " What, on your own?" " Yeah." "Oh." "Well, happy birthday for Sunday, sweetheart." "Thank you. (CHUCKLES)" "You're out now, ain't you?" "Yeah." "In good company." "With your mum." "Have you thought about having some driving lessons?" " What for?" " I could get you some for your birthday." "Don't be stupid." "Get yourself a little motor, eh?" "Ain't you going out tonight?" " No." " Why?" "What's happened?" " You going out?" " Yeah, later." " Where are you going?" " Down the pub." " I hope you're taking care of yourself." " What d'you mean?" "Well, you don't wanna go getting knocked up, do ya?" "Don't be so bloody cheeky." "Not at your age." " All right?" " Missed a bit, darlin'." "(BOTH LAUGHING)" "Who's this?" "Oh, don't start all that again." "Come on, who is it?" " It ain't me, is it?" "Well, who?" " No." "Sylvester Stallone." "I can't understand a word he says." "You like looking at him, though." "No, he ain't my sort." " What is your type?" "Yeah." " What, film star?" " Marlon." " (BOTH LAUGHING)" "Like a bloke with a bit of meat on him." " What sort of bloke do you go in for, then?" " Oh." "Intelligent, sensitive." "Well, don't you care what they look like?" "Yeah, but they've gotta have something going on upstairs." "You only have black boyfriends, do you?" "No." "How d'you look after yourself, then, y'know, if you don't wanna have babies?" "Condoms." "Oh, you just stop at that then, do you?" " Yeah, it's the best way, really." " Ooh, you can't be too careful can you, these days?" " You gotta protect yourself." "(SIGHS)" "It's my daughter's birthday next week." " How old is she?" " 21." "Nice age." "Well, she's your sister now, really, ain't she?" "Yeah, I suppose she is." " Does she look like you?" " Yeah, a bit." "You look more like me than she does." "We're the same build." "What are her eyes like?" "Blue." "My brother's doing a party for her." "That's nice." "At least it takes the strain off of you." "Yeah, well, there is that." " Shame you ain't comin', really." " Ah." " Meet your new family." " (CHUCKLES)" "Oh, sweetheart!" "I nearly forgot!" " Happy birthday for Sunday." " Oh." " Oh, you shouldn't have bothered." "Oh." " Oh, it ain't nothing much." "Aw." "Oh, thank you." "Don't start crying." " Perhaps I should ask him." " What?" "If I can take someone." "Oh, I don't know." "It's a family thing, isn't it?" "Well, you're family, ain't ya?" "I'm proud of ya." "Listen, Maurice, sweetheart, I wanted to ask you a favour." "MAURICE:" "Oh, yeah." "What's that, then?" " You know the party Sunday?" " Barbecue, yeah." "Yeah." "Can I bring a mate, sweetheart?" "Hello?" "Is it a bloke?" "Of course it ain't a bloke, you silly bugger." " Chance'd be a fine thing." " Who is it, then?" "Oh, just someone at work." "We've been out a couple of times." "And I was meant to have seen her Sunday, only I forgot." " Is that all right, then?" " I suppose so." "What d'you mean, you suppose so?" " No, it'd be fine." " Smashing." "I'll have to check it out, though." "Check it out?" "Who with?" "Listen, uh, if I don't phone you back, bring her, all right?" "I don't wanna upset nobody." " Oh, don't worry." " Are you sure, then?" "Yeah, yeah, no problem, yeah." "Okay, then, sweetheart." "Lookin' forward to it." "All right, yeah." "Well, say hello to Roxanne for me." "Yeah." " Ta-ta, then." " All right, ta-ta." "Bye, Cynth." "Listen, I spoke to my little brother today, and he says it's all right." "So, do you wanna come, then?" "Oh, I don't know." "I told him you was me mate." "I'd still feel a bit awkward." "Oh, don't be daft, sweetheart." "You'll be with me, won't ya?" "It wouldn't feel right." "I thought you wanted to come." "Yeah." "Oh, well, 'course if you've changed your mind." "I was lookin' forward to it." "Oh, I know." "What d'you think, then?" "All right." "I'll come." " You're coming?" " Yeah." "All right, then, sweetheart, listen." "I'll give you a ring later in the week, and give you the address and everything." " Okay, then." " Okay, ta-ta, then." "Bye-bye." "(SIGHS)" "You should've just said yes." "Makin' me look like a..." "Oh." " I can hardly say no now." "Oh." " That's up to you." "We don't know anything about this person, whoever she is." "It's some new mate." "They've been out a few times." "Oh, two hysterical nutters." "I'm just glad she's got a friend." "(SIGHS) I'm gonna have a great time." "I thought I'd ask Jane as well." "Anybody else you want to invite?" "We've only got four garden chairs." " (CHUCKLES) - (CLICKS TONGUE)" "Oh, give us two of them painkillers." "There you go." "Do you fancy some fish and chips?" "Don't be sarcastic." "I wasn't." "Sorry." "Cheers, mate." "(KNOCKING ON DOOR)" " There's a bell 'ere." " Don't do that!" " I've just done the knocker!" " All right!" "Hello, there." "Hello, sweetheart." "You got here in one piece, then?" "Long time no see." "Yes, that's right." "Thank you." " Hello, birthday girl!" " All right, Monica?" " Oh, look at you!" " This is Paul." " Hello, Paul." " How d'you do?" " MONICA:" "Nice to meet you." " (HORN HONKS)" "MONICA:" "Oh, here's Maurice." "Now, come away in." " Hi, Jane." " Hello, Monica." "Oh, this is Jane." "Maurice has just been picking her up from the station." "CYNTHIA:" "Here he is." "Hello, sweetheart." " Hiya." " ROXANNE:" "All right, Maurice?" " I got you that." " You didn't have to do that." " It's all right." "Yeah." " All right?" " (LAUGHS) This is Paul, Maurice." " Ah." " All right, mate." " Ain't you got one for me, then?" " Yeah, 'course I have." " Hello, darlin'." "Don't kill him." "Cor, you've landed on your feet here, ain't you, Maurice?" "This is Jane, my lovely assistant." "Yeah, talked to you on the phone, ain't I, Jane?" " Yeah, that's right." " Oh, can I take your coats?" " Yes." " Right, what d'you want to drink?" " Red, white, rosé, beer?" " Oh, I'll have white, Maurice." " Yeah, beer." "You're welcome." " Oh, thanks a lot, cheers." "Cynth?" " I'll have white, please, Maurice." " Jane?" " Rosé." " Okey-doke." " Where's the friend, then?" " I've no idea." "Have you got an ashtray, darlin'?" "Oh, there's one on the coffee table, Cynthia." "I didn't think you would've given up." "Oh, one of the few pleasures in life, Monica." "These are very bright. (CHUCKLES)" "Don't you like 'em?" "Yeah." "I'll just put them in a vase." "ROXANNE:" "What you got that up there for?" "MAURICE:" "We like it." "Well, don't laugh." "It's stupid." "It's one of my early works." "You miserable little git." "He was fucking around behind the camera." "Oi, mind your language, little sod." "(CHUCKLES)" " So how's work, then?" " Oh, it's all right, yeah." " Are you still enjoying it?" " Yeah, it's all right." "When are you going to college again?" "Shut up about college." " You're going to college, ain't you?" " No, I ain't." "Well, you should do." "You got a good brain." "I don't want to use it, though." " Well, suit yourself." " Yeah, I will." "Paul's a scaffolder." "Yeah, your mum said." "Bet that's hard work, innit?" " Can be, mate, yeah." " Especially in the winter." "That's right." "I wanted to give it a Mediterranean feel." "Oh, it's a lovely kitchen." "And this is the..." "Oops." "Oh, that's a big lavatory." "This is the downstairs toilet." "Oh, that's handy, isn't it?" "'Cause if you're in the garden..." "Exactly." "It's really convenient." "And I think the peach tones make it quite tranquil." "Yeah." "So, you know where it is, if you need it." "Now..." "Excuse me, Jane." " This is the garage." " (LAUGHS) I thought it was a cupboard." "Is that a new car?" "Yes." "That's my car." "What was the matter with your other one?" "Nothing." "I'll show you upstairs." "We'll start with this." "CYNTHIA:" "Oh, there's the tank." " That's where I keep my towels, and bed linen." " Just your airing cupboard." "Mmm, it's not very capacious." "And this is Maurice's bathroom." "It's green." "Matches your tank." "Are these all new carpets, are they, sweetheart?" "Oh, yes." "And this is the master bedroom." "CYNTHIA:" "Cor, it's more like the bridal suite." "JANE:" "It's beautiful." "MONICA:" "I have always wanted a four-poster." "I can see Maurice thrashing about in there." "It is a king-size." "Ooh, it's like something out of a fairy tale." "Bet this cost a bob or two." "Well, it certainly wasn't cheap." "And here's another lavatory!" "Oh, that bathroom's mine, the en suite." "You got the one each, have you?" "That's nice, ain't it, Jane?" "It's like a hotel." "You don't want to be tripping over each other." "Oh, you've got everything, Monica." " MAURICE:" "So, where's this friend, then?" " He's here, ain't he?" "No." "Your mum's." "What you talking about?" "She rang me at the shop, and asked me if she could bring a friend from work." "It's the first I've heard of it." " Is it?" " Yeah." " What, she's never mentioned it?" " No." "Peculiar." "That must be who she's been going out with." "She's a dark horse, isn't she?" "HORTENSE:" "Hello?" "MONICA:" "No, I'm sorry." "HORTENSE:" "I'm a friend of Cynthia's." "Yes." "Oh, yes, of course." " CYNTHIA:" "Hello, sweetheart!" " Hello." " I thought you were, uh..." " CYNTHIA:" "Come on in!" " That's me mate, Hortense." " Hi." " That's me brother's wife." " Oh, pleased to meet you." " Monica." " Hello, Monica." "Yeah, well, come on out the back, meet me brother." "Okay." "Can I take your coat for you, um..." " BOTH:" "Hortense." " Hortense." "Thank you." "This is me little brother, Maurice." " Hello, pleased to meet you, Maurice." " How do you do?" "Ain't that little, is he?" "(LAUGHS) That's Hortense." " Hortense?" " Yeah, that's right." "And this is me daughter, Roxanne." "Oh, happy birthday." " Oh, you didn't have to do that, sweetheart!" " There you go." "It's okay." "That's Paul, her intended." "He ain't me intended." " And this is, uh..." " Pleased to meet you, Paul." " Jane." " Maurice's assistant." " Hi." "Oh, you, too." " Very nice to meet you." "CYNTHIA:" "Oh, that's nice, ain't it, sweet?" "ROXANNE:" "That's expensive." "What would you like to drink, red, white, rosé?" " White wine, please." " You want to put that away." " Have that tomorrow." " Thanks, that's really nice." " You're welcome." " We'll have it later." "No, don't waste it!" "I've got some for later to have with the cake. (LAUGHS)" "We thought you'd got lost." "Well, I took a couple of wrong turns." "D'you come in a minicab, did you?" " No, she's got a car." " No, I drove." "That's really nice, that." "Thanks." " It's okay." " There you go." " Thank you." " Who wants a top-up?" "I'll have one with you, Maurice." " Not for me, thanks." " You all right?" " Would you like a crisp?" " Yeah, so far." " Good." " Hortense?" " No, I'm fine, thanks." " Uh, no?" "No?" "I only met Paul for the first time today, Hortense." " Really?" " He's a scaffolder." " Are ya?" " Yeah." " Another one bites the dust." " Way!" " That must be quite dangerous, Paul." " Yeah, well, it can be." "Here, come, and lollop over here." " Do you have to go up really high?" " Sometimes, yeah." "Just you and the elements, really." "Ever fallen off?" "(LAUGHS)" " Would you like a crudité?" " Thank you, no." " I think I'll wait till later." " Oh, well." " So you work with my mum, yeah?" " Yeah." " Not on the machines?" " (LAUGHS) No." "Are you coming round tomorrow night, Paul?" " Mum." " Well, it's..." " Eh?" " We're going out." "Well, you'll come round beforehand, won't you?" "Have a drink?" "It's her 21 st." "It's no big deal." "Well, I ain't give you your present yet." "Chicken drumsticks." " D'you want some salad, sweetheart?" " Yes, please." "I'll get you some." " Are you doing something special..." " Thanks." "...tomorrow night, you two?" "Oh." " No, down the pub as usual." "Oh, use fingers." " Use what you like." "Use your feet if you want." " (LAUGHS)" " You've got a knife and fork there, Jane." " It's a bit late now." "What d'you do at the factory, then?" "This looks really lovely, Maurice, thank you." " I hope it doesn't kill you." " (LAUGHS)" "There's salad servers there, Cynthia." " You ain't her boss, are you?" " No." " Here you are, sweetheart." " Thank you." " Do you want some salad, Paul?" " No, I'm all right, thanks." "It's good for you, make you go." "He don't want none." "What about Jane, does she want salad?" "Yeah, ta very much." "What do you do, then, Roxanne?" " I work for the Council." " What, down the dole?" " No." "I'm a road sweeper." " Wow." " Are ya?" " Yeah." " Who's for a potato?" " She's got my plate." " Here y'are, sweetheart." " One for you, Hortense?" " Yes, please." " Yeah, I'll have some of that an' all." " Thank you." " Please." "Yeah, you do get girl road sweepers, don't ya?" " Right." "Burgers and bangers." " Nice one." "Here, that's your one, Roxanne." "That's the one with your name on it, the burnt one, all right?" " Yeah." " (LAUGHS)" " Potato for you, Paul?" " Please." " There's a nice, big one." " Here you are, darling." " One for you, pet." " Ta." " Shall I do you, Monica?" " I can see to myself, thanks, Cynthia." "Why don't you sit down?" "What about Maurice?" "Who's lookin' after the worker?" "Don't worry about me." "I've been pickin'." " I'll eat in a minute." " Oops, sorry." "Your potato's on your plate there, Cynthia." "Think I'll have some salad." " Can I have my tongs back, please?" " MONICA:" "Oh, sorry." " Got butter?" " Yes, just a minute." "ROXANNE:" "I'll have some mustard while you're there, Monica." "Uh-huh." "Oh, you like the American, don't you, Roxanne?" "Yeah, ta." "All right." "Just get some salad." " Do you want some butter, Paul?" " You all right, darlin'?" " Yeah." "Just waiting for the butter." " Please." "There you go, Cynth." " Oh, Maurice!" " That'll shut you up." " Oh, you having a steak, are you, Cynthia?" " Thanks." "Yes, thank you, Monica." "Oh, well, that'll put hairs on your chest." "Like some mustard, or would you prefer the French?" "This looks lovely, Maurice." " Right." "There you go, mate." " Do you want some of that?" " Oh, thanks, darling." " Half a cow for you." " Fuckin' hell!" "Look at the size of that!" " Oh, that's ridiculous." " There's enough there for all of us." " Cheers." "That'll put some colour in your cheeks, Paul." "Right." "You're sure no one else wants a steak?" " Well, ain't you having one?" " No, he's not, Cynthia." "Not allowed." "Would you like some mustard, Paul?" "Oh, that's lovely." "Can't get rid of it, can ya?" "Oh, it's a real communal thing, eating." "Yes." "This is a lovely house." "Well, we like it." " I'll show you round later, if you want." " Yeah." "Thanks, that'd be nice." "Yeah." "It's brilliant." " Do you live in a flat, then, Hortense?" " Yeah." "Yeah, it's her own." "She's got a mortgage and everything." "Whereabouts are you?" "Kilburn." "That's a bit of a schlepp, innit?" "The Old Kent Road, and back every day?" " I just get on the Tube." " She drives!" "I drive to the station." " You've got a bedsit, ain't you, Paul?" " Yeah, that's right." " Oh, that's a shame." " Wish I had a place of me own." "Do you still live at home, then?" "No chance." "So, do you two work on the same machine?" "No." "I'm the only one on slits." "Hmm." "Do you choose your own working hours, then, Roxanne?" "Not bloody likely." "Just biding her time till you go to college, aren't you?" " Oh, I ain't goin' to college." " (CHUCKLES)" "Hortense went to college." "Oh, what did you study?" "Optometry." "What's that, then?" " It's to do with the eye, isn't it?" " That's right." " Testing." " Mmm." "And you've given it all up now, have you?" "Not exactly." "What are you doing working in a cardboard box factory, then?" " I'm doing research." " Oh!" "That's interesting." "What sort of research?" " Medical." " What, you lookin' at her head?" "(ALL CHUCKLE)" "Take no notice." "There's nothing wrong with her head." " D'you go to university?" " Yeah." " D'you do a degree?" " Yes, I did." "She just looks at our eyes, don't you?" "Yes, I do. (LAUGHS)" "What for?" "Well, you can tell a lot about people from looking at their eyes." " That's true." " Can you?" "Windows to your soul." "That's a nice way of puttin' it, Jane." "It's true, though, ain't it?" "Right." "Who wants a top-up?" "Hortense?" " No, thanks, I'm driving." " Yes, please, sweetheart." " Here y'are, Maurice." " Oi, greedy guts." "(MONICA CHUCKLES)" "You wanna take a leaf out of her book, Paul." "Lost his licence." "All right, Mum." "Why, d'you have an accident, Paul?" "(SIGHS) Just had one too many, that's all." " There you go." " Oh, shame." "The demon drink, eh?" "Is that who you've been going out with, then?" "Yes." "She thought I'd been seeing a bloke." "Could've been, I suppose." "I can still turn a few heads." " Turn stomachs." " (CHUCKLES)" " (ALL GASP)" " Jane!" "It's gone off now." "Here, do you want one, Hortense?" "MONICA:" "Oh, well, we might as well pop the lot, then. (CHUCKLES)" " ROXANNE:" "No!" " (ALL GASP)" "Oh, it's like a bonfire." "BOTH: ♪ Happy birthday to you" "ALL: ♪ Happy birthday to you" "♪ Happy birthday, dear Roxy MAURICE: ♪ Happy birthday, dear stinker" "ROXANNE:" "Oh, yeah, Maurice, very funny!" "ALL: ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪" "Join in!" "(ALL CHEERING)" "Nice one, champagne." "Oh, I need my camera." "Did anybody bring it in?" " I did." "It's there, Monica." " Do you have to, Monica?" "Of course I have to." "ROXANNE:" "Watch where you point that, Maurice." "Right, all under cover, okay?" " And, oops!" " Oh." " Yay!" " MONICA:" "Come on..." " Blow your candles out, Roxanne." " Oh." " Everybody else gather round." "Come on." " Come on, darlin'." "All right, Cynth, you tuck in there." "Okay?" "Hortense in there." "Right, come round here, Paul." "Hurry up, it's burning me eyebrows off." "Right, make a wish." "One big blow." " And..." " Cheese!" "Hey!" "I hope your wish comes true, pet." " MAURICE:" "Here you are, Roxy." " Ta." " All right, Cynth." " There you are, sweetheart." " Oh, that's nice." "Mmm." " MAURICE:" "And Paul." " MONICA:" "Jane." " All right." "Cynth, again." "Thank you, Maurice." "Oh, this is livin', ain't it?" "JANE:" "Ooh, yeah." "MAURICE:" "Okay." "One for me." "All right." "On you go, then." "Oh, yeah, okay." "Uh..." " I would like to propose a toast..." " (GIGGLES)" "For Roxanne on her 21 st birthday." "Now, it's all legal, and twice as boring for it." "Mind you, it's been legal since you I were 18, anyway," " so I don't know what I'm talking about." " (ALL LAUGH)" " Happy birthday, sweetheart." " Ta." "MAURICE:" "Roxanne..." "Happy birthday." " There you go." " What's that?" " Book token." " Don't be stupid." "Fuckin' hell, Maurice." "Thanks!" "MAURICE:" "Oh, well, it's your 21 st, isn't it?" "ROXANNE:" "Thanks, Monica." "Happy birthday, pet." "Don't spend it all in the one shop." "Here, happy birthday." "Wish I'd brought my present with me now." "You can give it to her tomorrow, can't you?" "That's her birthday." "Yeah." "I don't expect I shall see her tomorrow." "Are you gonna sit down, darlin'?" "Yes, come and sit down." "Everybody, have some cake." " There you are." "Hortense?" "Jane?" " MAURICE:" "Everybody, get stuck in." "ROXANNE:" "Where am I going?" "MAURICE:" "Anywhere you like." "ROXANNE:" "Come on the end, Paul." "MONICA:" "Hortense." "Where's the bathroom?" "It's just through there, sweetheart." "MAURICE:" "Yeah, it's the door straight ahead," " and the light's on the left." " HORTENSE:" "Thank you." "Yeah." "(SIGHS)" "She's a nice girl." "Yeah, she is, Maurice." " Seems very pleasant." " Yeah, she's all right." " MONICA:" "How are you doing, Paul?" " All right." " Oh, has your shirt dried off now?" " Yeah, it's fine." "She takes after her mother." "MAURICE:" "Does she?" "MONICA:" "D'you know her as well?" "MAURICE:" "Work at the factory, does she?" "You're lookin' at her." "Eh?" "She's my daughter." "What's the matter with ya?" "Maurice..." "It's me daughter." "Don't be stupid." "She's had too much to drink." "(CHUCKLES)" "She can't be the one that..." "What?" "Hortense, sweetheart..." "She's your sister. (CRYING)" "What?" "That's her half-sister, Paul!" " You eat your cake, sweetheart." " Thanks." " What's the matter?" " I'm all right, darlin'." "I told 'em." "Tell 'em who you are, sweetheart." "It wasn't supposed to happen like this." "Yeah, well, it has, ain't it, so you tell 'em." "Go on." "Is it true?" "Yes, it is." " MAURICE:" "You never told her, then?" " I'm sorry, darlin'." "Will someone tell me what the fuck's goin' on?" "She's your sister!" "Maurice?" "Monica?" "I always said she had a right to know." "Look, Roxanne, sweetheart!" "Darlin', darlin', please!" "Don't you touch me, or I will smack you, you slag!" "You fucking slag!" "Ain't it enough you had one bastard?" "You had to have two and all?" " MAURICE:" "Stop it!" "Roxanne?" "Roxy?" " (DOOR SLAMS)" "Sit down, darlin'." "Sit down, Paul." "(SOBBING)" "Cynthia, I think I should go." "No, I don't want you to go, darlin'." "You sit down." "Eat your cake, Jane." "You don't half-choose your moments, Cynthia." "Well, when's the right moment, Maurice?" "You tell me that." " Paul, get my coat." "We're going." " Oh, don't go." " Why didn't you tell me, Maurice?" " I thought you knew." " You used to tell me everything!" " I'm sorry." " Well, you've fuckin' well let me down!" " Oh, don't say that." "As for you, well, thanks for the present!" "You've ruined my party, and I hope you're happy!" "Roxy..." "Roxanne?" "She don't mean it, darlin'." "She's just little bit upset." " MAURICE:" "Where are you goin'?" " I don't know." "It's all been a bit of a shock, innit, eh?" "Look, I don't get it." "Did you know about her?" "I always thought she'd had a boy." " She's a slag." "Yes, she fuckin' is!" " No, she's not." "She loves ya." "We all love ya." " You coming back?" " No." " You got to." " Why should I?" "You gotta face up to it." "Face up to what?" "MONICA:" "She's left her card." "Oh, well, I'll post it on to her." "CYNTHIA:" "I'll take it." "MONICA:" "The state she's in, you'll be lucky if you ever see her again." "CYNTHIA:" "Oh, you'd like that, wouldn't you, sweetheart?" "Would I?" "You've been workin' at it for 18 years, ain't you, Monica?" "You turned my father against me." "You turned my Maurice against me, and you turned me daughter against me." "You'll be havin' a go at her next, I expect." "I'm sorry about this, Hortense." "You finished now, Jane?" "Why don't you sit down?" "You got a short memory, ain't ya?" "What are you talkin' about now?" "You wouldn't have none of this if I hadn't given Maurice the money to start with!" "That money wasn't yours to give!" " That was your father's insurance money!" " That money was for me and Roxanne." "And Maurice!" "He didn't want none of it till he come home and talked to you!" "He was entitled to it!" "I was going out cleaning at 5:00 in the morning, coming home, taking her to school!" "And then going out again to do a full day's work!" "And didn't we know it!" "You've done nothing but spend his money since the day you clapped eyes on him!" "Well, what are you supposed to do with money but spend it?" "At least we've made something of ourselves!" "Oh, haven't you just..." "You want to try bringing up a kid on your own!" "(SNIFFLES)" "She can't help it." "She's never had enough love." "And you've never got on." " That ain't my fault." " I know, I know." "But she needs ya." " Come on." " I don't want to." "What do you think, Paul?" "(SIGHS) I think he's right, darling." "Do you?" "Yeah." "Well, I ain't sayin' nothin'." "You won't have to." "You just have to listen." "Come on." "CYNTHIA:" "I'm sorry, Roxanne." "It just came out, darlin'." "I didn't mean to spoil your party." " Tell her, Maurice!" " Now, leave her alone, Cynth." "MAURICE:" "Just tell her the truth." "Darlin'..." "I got pregnant when I was 15." "And your granddad sent me away to this place, didn't he, Maurice?" "I didn't know she was gonna come lookin' for me, did I?" "But I gotta tell you the truth, darlin'," "I'm glad she did." "It ain't her fault, sweetheart!" "She didn't even wanna come!" "She didn't wanna hurt you, no more than I did!" "Oh, you tell her, sweetheart." "It's true." "She didn't wanna upset you." "(SIGHS) I'm sorry." "All right?" "She said you weren't never gonna come back." "MAURICE:" "Who did?" "I never said any such thing." "She's twisted everything as usual." "CYNTHIA:" "Yes, you did, Monica." "Well, you was wrong, wasn't ya?" "'Cause she has come back, ain't you, sweetheart?" "I always thought you should've known, Roxanne." "MAURICE:" "You should've told her, Cynth." "CYNTHIA:" "Of course I should've told her, Maurice." "But I didn't think there was ever gonna be no need to." "You seem to have told all and sundry." "Meaning me, I suppose." "And why shouldn't he?" "I am his wife, after all!" "CYNTHIA:" "Then why don't you behave like his wife?" "MONICA:" "What?" "CYNTHIA:" "Why ain't you give him no kids?" " Be quiet, Cynthia." " That's between Maurice and me." "You're so selfish, Monica." "You might not've wanted them," " but he did." " Shut up, Mum!" "MAURICE:" "You don't know what you're talkin' about." " Don't I?" " There's things" " you know nothing about." " Maurice." "Like what?" "Tell her." "Tell me what?" "Why can't you tell her?" "She can't have kids." "Simple as that." "She's physically incapable of having children." "We've had every test known to medical science." "She's been pushed around, prodded, poked, had operations." "We've had 15 years of it, and she can't have a baby." "I love you to bits..." "But it's almost destroyed our relationship." "You know it has." "There..." "I've said it." "So where's the bolt of lightning?" "Secrets and lies." "We're all in pain." "Why can't we share our pain?" "I've spent my entire life trying to make people happy!" "And the three people I love the most in the world hate each other's guts!" "I'm in the middle, I can't take it any more!" "I'm sorry, Hortense." "You are a very brave person." " A very stupid person." " No, you're not." "You wanted to find the truth and you were prepared to suffer the consequences." "And I admire you for that." "I mean it." "(MONICA SNIFFLING)" "(SOBBING)" "You are so lucky, Cynthia." "So you'd really been working in the factory?" "No." "What do you do, then?" "I'm an optometrist." "Hmm." "Welcome to the family." "Oh... (SNIFFLING) Maurice..." "I wish I'd had a dad like you." "You're lovely." "His name's Bingham." "Your father." "He's from America." "I met him on holiday." "Benidorm." "He's a medical student." "And one morning I come down, and he wasn't there no more." "But he was a nice man." "He was." "Was my father a nice man?" "(VOICE BREAKING) Oh, don't break my heart, darlin'." "(CRYING)" "I'm all right." "Oh, please, Roxanne, sweetheart!" "Please!" "I'm frightened." "Why?" "You don't love me any more." "Not like you used to." "Maurice..." "You don't know how much I love you." "Do you?" "We've got each other, haven't we?" "(SNIFFLES)" "ROXANNE:" "Bet you've never seen so much shit, have you?" "HORTENSE: (LAUGHS) You wanna see my mum's house." "Do you miss her?" "Yeah." "Did you get on with her?" "She used to drive me mad." "That's what they're there for, though, ain't it?" "Yeah." "ROXANNE:" "That's me old chair there." "HORTENSE:" "Ah." "HORTENSE:" "I always wanted a little sister." "No, it's just that my brothers were much older than me." "So I ended up playing on my own most of the time." "Oh, I know what you mean." "(CHUCKLES)" "What you laughing at?" "Do you feel like we're sisters?" "I don't know." "Do you?" " It's a bit weird." " Yeah." " I don't mind it, though." " No, nor do..." "Nor do I." "I don't even know you yet, do I?" "D'you wanna go out one night?" "Yeah, yeah." "You can take me to one of your pubs." "Yeah, all right." "How would you introduce me?" "As your half-sister?" "Yeah." "No, man." "Too much explaining to do." " That's what I'd say, though." " Would ya?" "Yeah." "Yeah." "Best to tell the truth, innit?" "Yeah, it is." "That way nobody gets hurt." "Here y'are, sweetheart." "Tea's up." "Go on, darlin'." " Want a biscuit?" " No, I'm all right, thank you." "Well, sit yourself down." " Are you all right with that?" " Yeah." "That's it." "Ooh." "Who'd have thought it, eh?" "Look at you two, sittin' there like a couple garden gnomes." "(ALL LAUGHING)" "Oh." "Oh, this is the life, eh, ain't it?" "BOTH:" "Yeah."