"Who is it?" "What'd you have to kill him for?" "Shut up." "Now that the school year's coming to a close, many of you will be going forth to prove how cleverly you can run the world." "More power to you as you take your turn in the barrel." "Some of you will continue with your education." "Some of you, I hope, will continue with your interest in art." "Some of you will have other interests, other talents." "If we've learned nothing else this year," "I hope you've learned the stupidity of the statement that art belongs to the world." "'Cause art belongs to the cultured who can appreciate it." "The majority of the great unwashed does not fit into this category." "And neither, I'm sorry to say, do most of you." "Dr. Hemlock." "I just wanted to tell you how much I really enjoyed your course." "I've never felt this close to art before." "How nice." "But I have a problem." "How terrible." "Well, you see, if I don't keep my B average, I'm gonna lose my scholarship, and I really don't think I'm gonna do so well in your final exam." "I mean, I've gained a whole new feeling about art, but sometimes you can't always put your true feelings down on paper." "How true." "If there was anything I could do to get a better grade..." "I mean, I'd be willing to do anything." "Anything at all." "Really." "Do you realize the implications of that offer?" "Are you busy this evening?" "No." "You live alone?" "Oh, well, my roommate's gone for the week." "Good." "Then, go on home, break out the books and study your little ass off." "That's the best way to maintain a B average." "Oh, uh..." "Don't study it all off." "Why didn't you boff the little quiff?" "'Cause I don't pick on students or drunks." "Get your feet off my desk." "Mr. Dragon wants to see you." "I'm sorry, Pope, but working for you people no longer amuses me." "C-2 isn't too interested in what amuses you, pal." "That's odd, being as your organization has spent so much time and effort in trying to give the rest of the world a laugh." "You can remind Dragon that I'm retired." "You still here?" "Now really, you don't expect me to just walk out that door, do you, sweetheart?" "Either through the door or through the window." "It's your choice." "Now look, pal..." "Get your feet off my desk!" "Now look here, buddy..." "Don't call me "buddy," "pal," or "sweetheart."" "If I wasn't under orders, I would..." "My superior wants to see you." "Your superior?" "Well, that doesn't narrow the field much, does it?" "Mr. Dragon wants to see you, and right away, pal." "I told you not to call me "pal."" "Mr. Dragon's not gonna like this." "How long have you worked for Dragon, Pope?" "Twelve years." "Why?" "Then he's used to having grief in his life." "You can tell him I'm retired." "C-2's gonna have to live without me." "Don't forget your trench coat." "How's anybody gonna recognize you without your disguise?" "Yes, Dragon." "Ah, Hemlock!" "I knew you'd show up." "It's just your charm, Pope." "I couldn't resist." "Hold it." "Empty your pockets, right there." "No wallet?" "Well, I knew I'd be seeing you." "I thought I'd best leave it home." "Miss Cerberus, you're looking inviting today." "I expected you before this." "Mr. Dragon does not like to be kept waiting." "Oh, the impatient albino!" "I don't think Mr. Dragon's affliction is a joking matter." "I thought it was rather humorous, myself." "A spy network being run by a bloodless freak who can't stand light or cold." "Or germs!" "Are you healthy?" "Shall I turn my head and cough?" "No known infections?" "Nothing other than the usual." "Syphilis, running sores, and clap." "All right, go in." "Come in, Hemlock." "A little to the left, Hemlock." "I'll turn on a light." "Thanks." "Could you spare it?" "You know, I'm something of a distinction." "A total albino." "Even the slightest direct light causes me intense pain." "Does your physical disability preclude you from coming to the point?" "All right." "If you wish no small talk, sit down." "We'll discuss business." "One of our agents has been killed in Zurich by two men." "We want you to sanction them." "I'm sorry, you're gonna have to get somebody else to do your wet work." "Please, that is a distasteful phrase." "Call it what you want," ""wet work," "termination," "sanction."" "It all adds up to the same thing, killing." "It is what you do best." "You don't seem to remember, Dragon," "I'm a retired assassin." "The operative word there is "retired."" "You'll have to get somebody else to do your sanctions." "I understand a new Pissarro has come onto the black market." "I'll just have to live without it." "Your fascination with paintings has always amazed me." "You have how many now?" " Twenty-one." " Marvelous!" "I should think your collection would be interesting material for the Internal Revenue people." "How does an underpaid professor buy rare paintings?" "Masterpieces worth millions?" "A professor with a balance of $2,137 in his checking account?" "You forgot the 42 cents." "I wonder what the tax people would say if I told them how I made the money, by killing people for the government." "True." "True." "But, of course, no one will believe you." "And even more important, it won't do anything for your paintings." "What do you think would happen to them?" "I imagine they'd be seized and auctioned off, made available to everyone." "Perhaps Mr. Pope would be able to buy one." "Won't it do your heart good to think of one of your precious paintings in Mr. Pope's hands?" "Dragon, you have a talent for describing the indescribable." "There are two assailants." "Our search division has located only one of these men in Zurich." "C-2 is working on the second one, and I would hope that they will have identified him by the time you arrive in Zurich." "We have reason to believe that the Zurich man is responsible for the assassination of several of our agents in a most savage manner." "I'll take one sanction." "Only one." "All right." "We shall talk about the second sanction when the time comes." "The price'll be $20,000." "Twice your usual fee?" "Absurd!" "You want the sanction performed, you pay $20,000." "You are without conscience." "How true." "Which brings me to another small fee" "I want to get for this job." "Which is?" "I'd like a statement from the Internal Revenue Service listing my collection of paintings." "I'd like it to say that the IRS has examined my collection, and that the IRS is fully aware of the circumstances under which I obtained them, and that my ownership is legal and without tax liability." "You drive a hard bargain." "You want somebody sanctioned." "I want a piece of paper." "All right." "You'll have the IRS statement this evening." "Here is the cash." "$20,000." "$20,000!" "I hate being predictable." "You are never that, Hemlock." "Who is there?" "A delivery." "I have this box of dental floss for Dr. Millard, but he doesn't answer his door." "He's off today." "What'll I do with this box of floss?" "I don't give a shit what you do with it, buddy." "Well, you don't have to be violent about it." "Get lost, cupcake." "Look out!" "Crap?" "I beg your pardon?" "You did start this conversation by saying "crap," didn't you?" "No, I didn't say it." "I asked it." "Is this today's alternative to, "Coffee, tea, or milk?"" "Only on our competitor's lines." "Actually, I was looking over your shoulder and I saw your comment, so I asked." "Just some criticism of this book I'm reviewing." "All and all, it's a very shabby piece of research obscured by involuted style." "Shabby research I can stand, but involuted style really makes my ass drag." "I can't believe that you're a stewardess." "Actually, I'm not." "I'm a skyjacker in drag." "That's reassuring." "Now if you'll just give me your name," "I'll report it to the proper authorities when we land." "Jemima." "And I'm Uncle Ben." "I'm serious." "That's really my name." "Jemima Brown." "My mother was hooked on being ethnic." "Or else turned on by a pancake." "As long as we both agree that it's too much for a black chick to have the name of Jemima." "Oh, I don't know." "I mean, people don't forget you when your name is Jemima." "I don't think people would forget you if your name was Alfred." "Goodness me, Dr. Hemlock." "You're not the type of man who tries to pick up stewardesses, are you?" "Not generally." "How'd you know my name?" "It's this mystical thing I have with names." "It's a gift from the Dark Continent." "I look at a person very carefully, and then I concentrate." "And?" "And then, I go check his name out on the passengers list." "And what else do they call you besides Jemima and Smart Ass?" "Jem, as in jewel." "Fasten your seat belt, sir." "Oh, I have no intention of trying to escape." "Aren't you gonna get in, or do you like it out there?" "I looked for you on the plane." "No harm done." "I was on my way to town and you looked so lonely, I took pity on you." "Well, that's an ancient trick." "Whenever I'm waiting for a cab," "I look lonely and maybe some unbelievable beauty named Jemima will pick me up." "Gonna have to be a double fare, you know?" "Fine." "You know, buddy, we ain't supposed to pick up two fares in one location." "Hey." "Let's agree on a division of labor right now." "You do the driving." "We'll do the talking." "All right." "How can you look so good when you're starving to death?" "Am I starving to death?" "Mmm, you broil a mean steak, Hemlock." "Come on, I'll show you my lime pit." "It's kind of scary looking." "Maybe I should drop pieces of bread so I can find my way out." "Jonathan!" "They're unbelievable." "Not bad, huh?" "One of the better collections in the neighborhood." "You have El Greco down there," "Matisse," "Picasso," "Clay, Matisse." "Over here we have Pissarro." "It's astonishing!" "I mean, there's so much life in them." "Yeah, I'm picking up another one of his tomorrow." "I've heard about guys like you reading those books." "Whips and boots and things." "But an ax?" "That's a little freaky." "Call me a cab." "I'm getting outta here." "Just some old climbing equipment." "You climb?" "I used to, but I'm retired now." "Maybe you'll climb again someday." "I doubt it." "However, you never know." "Sometimes people do things they thought they'd never do again." "Like rape, for instance." "Yeah." "I thought I'd given up rape, but I think I've changed my mind." "You really have beautiful eyes." "Or do they all say that?" "All?" "Who all?" "Yeah." "Good morning, baby." "There's coffee by your bed." "The hell with coffee." "Where are you?" "Jonathan, it's important that you contact Mr. Dragon as soon as possible." "I'm sorry to drop it on you like that, Jonathan." "Baby, I'm sorry." "Sorry for this, Hemlock." "But twice a year, my blood must be fully replaced." "With what?" "You're very bitter today, Dr. Hemlock." "A joke." "Bitter Hemlock." "Listen, Dragon." "I came here for two reasons." "One, to tell you that using that Jemima Brown to steal my money was low, even for you." "And second, to get my money and tax statement back." "It will be returned to you." " And the tax statement?" " That, too." "Well, then we have nothing more to discuss, do we?" "There is still the sanction on the second man who killed Agent Wormwood." "I will give you another $20,000 for this second sanction." "Forget it." "I'm back in retirement." "You are the only man who can do it." "You could train Pope." "He'd be ready, in about 40 years." "Would you leave Agent Wormwood unrevenged?" "Well, those are the breaks." "Did you know who Agent Wormwood was, Dr. Hemlock?" "Wormwood was Henri Baq." "Henri Baq?" "Yes." "I thought he was retired and living in Paris." "He approached C-2 and asked for work." "Apparently, he had financial difficulties." "We tried to be helpful." "Unfortunately, it turned out tragically." "Why wasn't I told about this before?" "We had reasons." "They did not concern you." "We preferred that you took the sanction for your usual reasons, greed and avarice." " Henri Baq was my friend." " Yes." "He saved my life once." "Yes." "Then why am I the only one who can perform this sanction?" "First, do you accept the assignment?" "Yes, I accept." "What we have is this." "The target is male." "He is an accomplished mountain climber." "We learned this from a note we intercepted." "Also, a witness said he limped." "Well, that's fine." "Now all I have to do is kill every mountain climber with a sore foot." "Not quite." "Our man will be involved in a climb in the Alps this summer." "You're getting warm now, Dragon." "That narrows it down to three or four thousand men." "Fewer than that." "We know which mountain he will climb." "And?" "The Eiger." "North face, of course." "That is correct." "You are familiar with it?" "You know I am." "I tried to climb it twice." "It tried to kill me twice." "Look, if the target's trying to climb the north face of the Eiger, chances are my work could be done for me." "I cannot trust to chance, Dr. Hemlock." "Now, the only climb planned for the Eiger is a goodwill climb with a team from Germany, Austria," "France and the United States." "Now, the target is one of the other climbers, the Frenchman, the German or the Austrian." "We are continuing to work to try to identify him." "Undoubtedly, we will have his name before it is necessary for you to climb the Eiger." "You're passing over one small matter, and that is payment." "Naturally, considering the rigors of the assignment, we intend to be generous." "You will receive $30,000." "I'm sure that's more than you expected." "More than I expected, but less than I'll receive." "Oh?" "Yeah." "I'll receive $100,000, plus expenses, of course." "You recognize that this is outrageous?" "Well, I'm viewing this as retirement pay." "This is definitely my last assignment." "You are punishing us for using Jemima Brown?" "Is that it?" "You need me to perform the sanction, just pay the money." "You drive a hard bargain, Hemlock, but to show you there are no hard feelings," "I'm going to give you a bonus." "Oh, pardon me while I choke." "You will appreciate this." "The bonus is Miles Mellough." "Miles?" "What does he have to do with all this?" "It appears that after the microfilm was stolen from Worm..." "Henri Baq, Miles Mellough was the courier who carried it to the enemy." "Since he was not one of the killers, a sanction, technically, is not called for." "However, you may have it if you wish." "I accept the bonus." "I thought you might." "I imagine this will be the last time that you will be here." "I shall miss you, Hemlock." "You know, Dragon, you could have saved yourself a lot of trouble if you'd have told me to begin with that the dead agent in Zurich was Henri Baq." "Good luck, Hemlock, on your latest assignment, the Eiger Sanction." "Wild Turkey on the rocks, hmm?" "It's right downstairs." "I guess I shouldn't have dropped it on you like that, Jonathan." "Just how should you have dropped it on me, Jemima?" "I just couldn't let it go..." "I mean, I couldn't let us go on without you knowing that I work for Mr. Dragon." "And I didn't have enough guts to tell you face-to-face." "Boy, I must've been really dazzled not to notice all those coincidences." "You on the same plane, just happening by with the taxi cab, discovering the note from Dragon." "How was it supposed to work?" "Were you supposed to deny me your body if I don't accept this sanction?" "Don't make it sound so cheap, Jonathan." "Just too shabby to even be called cheap." "For your information," "I was not assigned to seduce you." "How long have you worked for Dragon?" "Only a month." "But I've been a C-2 courier for five years." "Jonathan, do you understand how important this sanction is?" "I mean, the film that was stolen from Wormwood..." "His name was Henri Baq." "Well, the stolen microfilm involves a new formula for germ warfare." "And I'm supposed to get it back by killing people?" "Let me tell you something I'm sure you're not aware of, Aunt Jemima." "You know what purpose these sanctions serve?" "Absolutely none at all." "They're just retaliation." "They kill one of ours, we kill the killers." "No purpose at all, just barbaric." "You're getting religion a little late." "I didn't quit because of religion." "I quit because of mathematics." "Oh?" "That's right." "The odds are stacking up against me." "Assassins who stay too long wind up assassinated, and that ain't in my game plan." "But..." "Look, I don't pretend to know what Mr. Dragon's thinking, but there's a formula for germ warfare out there and the other side has it." "I'm sure he knows what he's doing." "It's dangerous, child, to come to conclusions when you don't have any facts." "Now, let me lay some on you." "Sure, Dragon knows what he's doing, just like he knew what he was doing when he worked for the Nazis during World War II." " What?" " Oh, you didn't know that, did you?" "Yes, your wrap 'em up in red, white, and blue Mr. Dragon's a goddamn Hessian, that's what he is." "And he'd sell out the other side as fast as he'd sell out our side." "He'd sell out his mother, too, if the bloodless freak had one!" "You think it's so awful the other side has a germ formula?" "It's against the Geneva Convention, isn't it?" "And they stole it from us." "Well, what the hell are we doing with it in the first place?" "We're not supposed to have one either." "And you don't see any difference between their side and our side?" "Yeah, I see a difference." "As long as we have Dragons and Popes working for us, how bad can the other side be?" "Where's my change?" "$10,000." "This is Henri Baq." "I had a bullet in me once, and he carried me for three days." "I owe him one." "He was a friend." "Who's that man?" "That's Miles Mellough." "He's the guy who tipped off the people who put the bullet in me." "An enemy." "And him?" "That's Ben Bowman." "He and I used to climb a lot together." "I'm going out to his climbing school and get in shape." "Friends, enemies." "Where do I fit in?" "I'm sorry, but you don't." "Here's to the selfish killer and the patriotic whore." "Do you have anything else to say to me?" "I usually keep a twenty in the bowl there, by the kitchen door." "You might pick it up on your way out." "Goddamn my eyes!" "How the hell are you?" "Goddamn, you're looking good." "A little soft maybe, but, goddamn, I'm glad to see you." "How the hell have you been?" "Boy, are we gonna drink a lot of beer!" "Wait till you see the goddamn place." "How the hell are you?" "Jesus Christ, Jon, don't you ever say anything?" "Well, I'm waiting for your mouth to get tired." "Just down the road a piece, old buddy." "About 20 miles, as I remember." "Uh-huh." "Nice leisurely five-minute ride." "Only when I'm in a hurry." "No need to hurry, Ben." "That's why I'm taking it nice and easy." "You ain't gonna recognize the old place." "Hope I live to see it." "That city life has spoiled you, made you kind of soft." "You ain't a pansy yet, are you?" "Let's just stop this death trap and I'll show you." "What's so funny?" "I was just thinking of the last time we climbed." "You had to haul my ass down off that mountain." "That's liable to turn out to be one of my bigger mistakes." "Still do any climbing, Ben?" "No." "Nothing a pissant couldn't hop over." "I ain't a climber, anyway." "I'm an impresario." " Huh?" " An impresario." "At least, that's what they call me." "That ain't dirty, is it?" "Could be." "When did this all happen?" "Oh, about two years." "What do you think of it?" " Well..." " I know." "It's so frigging ugly, it makes me sick." "But it keeps me in moccasins." "I've been taken over by the swinging singles!" "What happened to the climbing school?" "Ha!" "My guests are more interested in hunting than they are in climbing." "Thought the whole point of climbing was hunting." "Damned if you ain't right, Jon." "Damned if you ain't right." "Well, this is really interesting, Ben." "Uh-huh, yeah." "Begins to look like I'll make it through the winter, huh?" "Two brews." "Not bad." "Thanks." "Not bad at all." "I think I like the old place better though." "More character." "Character and unpaid bills, old buddy." "Goddamn, I'm glad to see you!" "Dealing with these phony bastards really makes my ass weary." "That's the perils of being an impresario." "You sure that ain't a dirty word?" "Shut up and drink your beer." "On, God." "My, my!" "All right." "Beat it, Buns." "At least I know you're not here for the hunting." "Psst!" "Psst!" "But your wire made it sound like more than just a visit to an old buddy." "It is, Ben." "I want you to get me in shape for a climb." "Much of a climb?" "Eiger, north face." "You're kidding?" "Nope, I'm part of an international team." "I know about that international climb." "Lawrence Scott heads the U.S. team." "He had an accident." "How old are you, Jon?" "Thirty-five?" " Give or take." " Uh-huh." "I know what you're thinking, Ben, but I have to go." "You've been to the Eiger before." " Twice." " And you know what it's like." "Ben, I'm going, God damn it." "All right." "All right." "I did what a good friend's supposed to do." "I tried to talk you out of it, right?" "Now I'm gonna tell you the truth." "Horseshit!" "I'm going with you!" "You, going to the Eiger?" "I'm the ground man for that climb." "Ain't that enough to singe your ass!" "I'm gonna nursemaid you again after all of these years." "You nursemaid me?" "I not only could out-climb you on your best day," "I can out-drink you right now." "Well, you just enjoy that one, 'cause you're off the sauce until you're in shape for the climb." "Meanwhile, I'll have another." "Well, this is where I turn back." " Thank God." " Not you." "You need the work." "George there will take you on up." "She's a girl." "A lot of people notice that." "All right, George." "Give him a workout, then bring him back for a meal." "I'll see you, old buddy." "You don't have to do everything he says." "After all, this is a chance to strike back at the white man." "Hi." "I'd like some French Onion Soup, crabmeat cocktail, broiled lobster tails, and Wild Turkey on the rocks, please." "Very good, sir." "Well, that was quick." "Well, what do you think of George?" "Very warm, humane person." "Gives great conversation, too." "But she's a climbing fool, ain't she?" "Boy, that she is." "Wore me down, but I'll do better tomorrow." "Tomorrow?" "Today, me bucko." "You go back out again right after lunch." "You'd be well-advised to have a good reason for making this call." "Rise and shine, old buddy." "Oh." "Go piss up a rope." "Just scalp me." "God damn it!" "I wish Custer would have won." "Time to rise and shine..." "Screw Marlon Brando." "Dirty, rotten..." "Dirty, evil, scheming, devious bitch." "Leave Dr. Hemlock alone, Faggot." "Forgive him, Jonathan, but I'm afraid Faggot has not learned to recognize you straights." "Miles." "My, my, aren't we looking splendid, Jonathan?" "How long has it been?" "Indochina, you and me and Henri Baq." "And I haven't made a verbal blunder." "Actually, it's about Henri that I wish to chat." "Miles, the only thing you and I have to chat about is you having an incurable disease and lack the guts to kill yourself." "Very good, Jonathan." "Very good." "You've grown a great deal." "But wrong!" "Should we be sensible and have a drink?" "Waiter!" "We'd like to order some drinks, please." "A Wild Turkey on the rocks for my good friend, the doctor." "And I would like..." "I would like a frozen daiquiri." "Well..." "Miss?" "Oh, Miss." "May I know your name, please?" "Buns." "Yes, of course it is." "Miss Buns, I wonder if you'd be a gentleperson and take my roomie for a stroll?" "Sure, anything." "I'm sure." "Off you go." "His name is Faggot." "That's cute." "Be careful he doesn't rape you." "Charming." "Ah, here we are." "Well, you're a very handsome young man." "I would say he's made, wouldn't you, Jonathan?" "I assume you're covered." "Uh-huh." "Your assumption is correct." "At the bar." "That's your cover?" "Uh-huh." "Dewayne is very strong." "He was a world's champion." "Weren't they all?" "Must seem odd to you that I've looked you up after all these years." "But you see, Jonathan, I'm..." "I've grown very tired of waiting for you to step up behind me one day and relieve me of existing." "Stepping up behind is your method, Miles." "I wanna look right into your face." "Yes, I'm sure you would." "However, that does not enhance my cool." "It'll all be over soon." "Funnily enough, I find myself in a very strong bargaining position." "Forget it." "Not even curious?" "You betrayed the both of us in Asia and we lived, no thanks to you." "Now you people have killed Henri in Zurich." "I didn't actually kill him, you know." "Well, I probably won't actually kill you." "That's very little comfort." "Henri was a worthless alcoholic, and I abhor sloppy drunks." "I'll allow you that." "It's the price I must pay to get you to listen." "I did not, I repeat, I did not participate in that killing." "Because unlike you, I am not an animal." "But I do know who did the killing." "You got one, and now you're after the other." "Dragon has promised you the identity of this person." "Maybe." "Maybe not." "The point, I know who this person is." "And until you get that information, you're in great, great danger." "How?" "Suppose I were to tell this person who and what you are?" "He would hunt you." "You'd sell this man out for me?" "For what I want in this life," "I would even sell my dear mother." "How true." "What I need from you is your promise to leave me alone." "What do you say?" "All right." "I'll give you my answer in a minute." "Whichever way it goes, we were friends once." "As you can see, Miles and I have made up." "Can I buy you a drink?" "Get him whatever he's having." "I'm sure glad, too." "I'd hate to tangle with a guy your size." "Just want you to know." "Now I'm gonna tell you something." "And listen, 'cause I'm gonna ask questions later." "I don't like you on my flank 'cause it scares me." "I don't like being scared." "If you ever come near me again, I'm gonna kill you." "Understand?" "Understand?" "Yes." "Good boy." "Hope you told your cook we'd be back for lunch." "You're full of piss and vinegar today." "You promise to have mercy on an old man like me?" "You wanna lead?" "You've been up this before." "No, I'll just tag along." "This the right way?" "It's one way, I guess." "You're a big help." "I wanna know why you busted that guy's head at the pool." "Rock." "All right, it's none of my fucking business." "You know what?" "Way down deep, you got the makings of a real bad ass." "I don't know that I'd like to be alone on a desert island with you if there was a shortage of food." "Don't worry." "You're a friend." "You ever had any enemies?" "A few." "Any of them still around?" "The guy by the pool." "Miles Mellough." "What do you know about him?" "He checked in today." "He looks like he could change a nine dollar bill in threes." "Want me to throw him out?" "No, I want him right here." "What about the other guy?" "The big guy?" "You want him, too?" "Him, too." "You set him up kind of neat for an elderly college professor." "You got me in shape." "It's not that." "You set him up like you were used to setting people up." "You're climbing fine, Jon." "Better than I've ever seen you." "Well, I wish I was on the Eiger right now, I'll tell you." "Why go at all, Jon?" "Isn't this enough of a climb?" "No way." "I've gotta make it." "Hey, have you ever met any of these guys we're climbing with?" "Yeah, about a month ago." "And?" "They're a good enough bunch." "They've got a lot of hills behind them." "Any of 'em walk with a limp?" "Now, who in the hell could climb with a limp?" "Now, wait a minute." "The German was limping." "Said he hurt himself in a fall." "Freytag, he's a funny guy." "Makes noise like a leader." "Family makes bug spray." "Got a lot of money, but he doesn't like to talk about it." "Anyway, he's got the look." "What look?" "The look of a guy you couldn't count on in a clutch." "I wouldn't want to count on him on that hill." " What about the Frenchman, Montaigne?" " Oh, Montaigne's all right." "I think he's a little too old for the Eiger." "He's about your age." " Screw off, will you?" " I'd rather screw Montaigne's wife." "She's a real brick shit-house." "Wait'll you catch her act." "She's a regular mantrap." "I feel sorry for the poor bastard, trying to keep his eyes on her." "Yeah?" "And what about the Austrian?" "Oh, you're gonna love him, Jon." "Meyer doesn't give a rat's ass about anything except climbing." "All the people I talk to say he's the kind of climber like..." "Well, like you used to be." "You mean, before I got decrepit and weak?" "You didn't look so decrepit and weak yesterday, punching out that wrestler." "Anyway, this Meyer's really something." "He killed a guy once." "Oh?" "Yeah." "A porter on a climb they were making was stealing some food." "He killed him with a knife." "Isn't that something?" "Sounds like a real charmer." "Listen, Jon, if you got to rope yourself to anybody on that hill, you make damn sure it's Meyer." "This is a big man." "You're the only one who's climbed it." "Uh-huh." "How'd you do it?" "Guts, skill, determination, all that sort of stuff." "Hey, why don't we just call it a climb the way it is and take the escalator down?" "Okay, give me some slack." "You gonna stand up there all day admiring yourself?" "Or are you gonna bring me up?" "All right." "Congratulations, old buddy." "You got her cherry." "What do you mean?" "You're the first one ever to climb up here." "Well, you climbed it yourself, you told me." "You ain't gonna get very far in life listening to a liar like me." "You were hoping I'd quit, weren't you?" "Hoping I'd give up on the Eiger climb." "Let me tell you something, Ben." "There's a damn good chance I might not have to make the climb." "I may be able to conclude my business before the climb starts." "No." "Once you get over there, you're gonna want to climb." "That's the way you are." "Want a beer?" "You gonna call room service?" "We got beer." "If you hauled beer up this rock, you're insane." "I may be insane, but I'm not stupid." "I didn't carry it, you did." "It's in your pack." "Jesus Christ!" "I ought to throw you off this pillar." "Besides, it's warm." "Well, I'm sorry." "I'd thought you'd draw the line at hauling ice." "Oh." "Well, good evening, George." ""Good evening, Dr. Hemlock."" "And how are you this fine evening?" ""Oh, I'm just fine, Doctor."" "Did you watch that magnificent climb Ben and I made today?" ""Yes, I did, Dr. Hemlock." ""It sure was good."" "You know, George, I'm gonna be leaving here soon, and I'm gonna kind of miss you, in my way." ""I'll miss you, too, Doctor."" "Um, one thing I'll have to say, George, is you've never cluttered up our relationship with any sticky sentiment." "Maybe we should just cut the chitchat and you just jump in here and we'll get lucky." "Ow!" "Desk!" "Desk!" "No." "All right, now, take it easy." "Take it easy, old buddy." "Ow." "Doc says you're gonna be all right, but you just got to take it slow." "Where is she?" "I got her down in my room." "My men are watching her." "Want me to call the sheriff?" "No, not yet." " What happened to me." " Miles Mellough." "I knew you'd be wondering." "He's still here." "The desk'll call me if he makes a move." "So it was Miles." "That's what she said." "Why'd she do it?" "Oldest reason in the world." "Love?" "Money." "What the hell did she shoot into me, anyway?" "The doc says it was a relative of morphine, but not enough to be fatal." "You know, morphine sounds right." "Miles is in the drug business." "Why the hell didn't he polish you off?" "He told her it was gonna be nothing serious." "He just wanted to scare you." "After George put me under, my guess is," "Miles was gonna come in and off me in some spectacular fashion." "Probably give me an O.D. That sounds like his style." "What are you gonna do about him?" "Something massive." "Something massive!" "Good morning, Dewayne." "Well, good morning, Jonathan." "My, aren't we looking chipper today?" "Sleep well?" "Very well, thank you." "You know, Miles, I think I'll forget about you for the time being." "Difficult task." "Just like that?" "Well, you see, I'm gonna be training here for a few more weeks, and I'm gonna need all my concentration without having you in mind." "Well, I do sympathize with you." "Truly, I do, Jonathan." "But if this means you're going to cross me off your list for good..." "I might just do that." "I'll tell you something." "Why don't we have dinner tonight and talk about it?" "Only if I can choose the wine." "Look forward to it." "Bastard!" "He hit his brakes." "No, he didn't." "He turned the switch on his headlights." "Oh, Jonathan, what a cheap, dirty trick." "After him, Dewayne." "After him!" "We've got him now." "Look!" "We've got him trapped." "He can't turn around on this road." "Where the hell is he?" "Dewayne, there he is!" "Oh, Jonathan, you are an animal." "Look at that dear gentleman." "You tried to kill me." "Get in the car." "Uh-uh." "Get in the car." "Get out." "What the hell are we gonna do out here?" "Get out." "Jonathan, you're not going to shoot..." "Jonathan, you're not going leave me out here!" "Jon..." "Oh, Jonathan, for Christ's sakes, kill me, but don't leave me here!" "You can't..." "Pretty quiet now, aren't you, you little prick?" "Jonathan!" "Goddamn my ass, what the hell do you mean, you ain't got any rooms for me?" "My dear Herr Bowman..." "My dear Herr's ass." "You just stick your nose in that book and you come up with my reservation." "Hiya, buddy." "You're looking good." "What's the problem here?" "Oh, this rinky-dink has screwed up my reservation." "Says he can't find my telegram." "From the looks of him, he couldn't find his tallywhacker with a six-man search party." "I did not know this person was a friend of yours, Dr. Hemlock." "Yeah, well, he's in charge of the climb." "In charge of the climb?" "Oh, yes." "Just one minute, please." "All the Eiger birds are coming in." "Maybe you should have given him a tip." "Yeah." "Did you meet the other climbers yet?" "They're supposed to be here in the hotel." "How's George?" "She's fine." "Listen, about Miles..." "Look, later on that." "Everything is in order." "You will be with the other members of the party on the 2nd floor." "Room 216." "I'll have your luggage taken up." "Yeah, and have them send up a case of beer." "You know, after you left, all hell broke loose." "Government agents all over the place, asking questions, making assholes of themselves." "They find anything?" "Yeah, you know that big guy you creamed in the bar?" "Found him blown in half with a shotgun." "Miles, they found on the sand, dead as Kelsey's nuts." "What the hell are you here for?" "I don't want you to concern yourself with that, Ben." "I'm just here doing something for an old friend." "Let's call off the climb." "Tell them you're sick or something." "You know I want another shot at this hill." "Herr Bowman?" "Yeah?" "Karl Freytag wants us in the sitting room immediately." "Stragglers will be shot." "Only the lucky ones." "Ah, lady, gentlemen." "Jonathan Hemlock, Jean-Paul Montaigne." " Jean-Paul." " I've looked forward to meeting you, Mr. Hemlock." "My pleasure." "This is my wife, Anna." "Anna." "Hello." "Care for a drink?" "And this is Karl Freytag." " Karl." " Herr Doctor." "And this is Andrei Meyer, Jon." " Hello." " Andrei, I've read a lot about you." "I used to read a lot about you." "It appears that we've read a lot about each other." "It's snowing out there." "How are the weather reports?" "Oh, not too good." "We've got a couple of good days, and then we've got a bunch of weak fronts moving in." "It's gonna be pretty dicey after that." "Good, that settles it." "Settles what?" "We must leave immediately." "Do we have time to finish our drinks?" "I mean, as soon as possible." "With a storm coming in, in maybe four days?" "Well, the Eiger has been climbed in two." "But supposing you don't make it in two?" "Supposing you get pinned down up there by the weather?" "Oh, Benjamin has a point there." "We must not take childish risks." "We can't climb without some risks." "Perhaps the young face these risks more easily." "Good weather, bad weather." "Now or later, any time's good for climbing." "All right, an impasse." "Two in favor of climbing, two opposed." "The democratic process." "What do you suggest, Doctor?" "Professor Hemlock, that we climb halfway up?" "Ben has a vote." "Yeah, but he will not be climbing with us." "He's our ground man." "Until we hit the wall, he has complete control." "Has that been decided?" "It's always like that." "The ground man has the last word now and the leader once we're on the face." "Okay, that brings us to another issue." "Who's to be the leader?" "I thought that was settled." "I thought you were gonna lead." "Okay." "That decision was made before the original American member of the team had his unfortunate accident." "You know, I think we should make sure we agree on who's to lead, especially now that you've joined us." "You make a good point." "Jonathan has climbed the mountain twice before." "Correction, if I may." "The good doctor has failed to climb the mountain twice before." "I don't want to offend you, Herr Doctor, but I'm forced to say" "I don't consider a record of failure automatically grants you the right to lead." "I'm not offended." "I think it's important that you lead." "Okay." "Good, then, let's come over here." "Let's move over here." "I've spent months studying a new route up the Eiger." "Taking the face by a new route will put us in the record books." "What is this new route?" "Okay, we won't take the Hinterstoisser Traverse." "Instead, we go this way." "Our first bivouac should be high above the difficult cracks." "That's about here." "And the next morning, we have to move up this vertical rock face." "That'll be pretty tough, I guess." "We go all the way up and come out next to the highest visible ice field." "That's here." "And then it's up to the top." "But nobody's ever been on that part of the face." "We don't know what's there." "Supposing you can't cling to the edges?" "Suppose you get forced down into the gut of the chute?" "Well, I've no interest in suicide, Ben." "If the edges are not a go, we'll retreat and follow one of the more classic routes." "Where all that can stop us is the weather." "Just one thing." "You know, your route doesn't allow for retreat in case we're blocked from above." "Well, I consider it self-defeating to plan in terms of retreat." "I consider it stupid not to." "Okay, I'll leave the planning for a retreat route to Dr. Hemlock." "After all, he has more experience than I in retreating." "Okay, may I take it my plan is accepted?" "Fine." "Our business is settled." "Now, I suggest we relax and have a drink." "Is this hotel always so crowded?" "Only when there's a climb." "Then the Eiger birds start flocking in." "Eiger birds?" "Yeah, jet-setters." "Assorted zombies who come here to watch a climb." "If they get lucky, they get to watch a man die on the mountain." "That's grim." "So is the Eiger." "It even looks grim." "Do you have to go up?" "Unless the search division identities the assassin first." "They've come up empty." "Is that what you came here to tell me?" "As a courier?" "I could have phoned." "I just wanted to come up and be with you." "Oh, Jonathan, I had this fantastic speech planned." "I mean, I was going to say it really quick before you interrupted me or walked away." "Well, how's it go?" "I forgot." "Well, first, why don't you tell me why you set me up?" "I did it because I believe you had to take this sanction." "All right, I've taken it." "And you and me, working side by side, like loyal Americans, not to mention Dragon and Pope, will save the republic yet." "Have you met the other climbers?" "Mmm-hmm." "Any suspicions?" "Could be any one of them." "Could even be Madam Montaigne." "She's a very destructive woman." "You know the type." "I'm cold." "Jonathan, you know what I don't have?" "No." "What don't you have?" "I don't have a room for the night." "Jesus." "I see, so you're a condemned man's last wish, huh?" "4:00 p.m. We leave in 12 hours." "We must do the first thousand feet before the sun loosens the ice chunks." "If the weather holds." "It will hold." "It's certainly magnificent." "A perfect choice for my last mountain." "Hey, Jon, sit down, have a beer." "I've got a friend checking in, but I guess I can always go for a beer." "What's this about your last mountain?" "Well, I'm not longer young, Jonathan." "Think of it." "At 42, maybe I shall be the oldest man to climb the Eiger." "What do you think about that, Madam?" "How do you feel about climbing?" "I consider mountain climbing the biggest nonsense." "I've never been in better shape." "Ask Anna." "Every night for 6 months," "I perform two hours of exercise before bed." "By now, she must be very anxious to see you climb the mountain." "Doctor, a message from the gentleman outside." "I think I'll take a stroll." "Madam Montaigne, would you care to join me?" "Well, I think I shall return to my room." "If you will excuse me?" "Well." "Well." "What got into Jean-Paul?" "I don't know." "A little jumpy, I guess." "You been jumping his wife?" " No." "Why?" " You sure?" "Well, I think it's something I'd know." "I'll see you later." "Hey, Hemlock, how's it going?" "Nice place here." "Get on with it, Pope." "Okay, pal, if that's the game you want to play, we'll get right down to the nitty-gritty." "No one is more qualified than you are." "Search division has drawn a blank on the target." "All we know is, he's here somewhere." "Miles Mellough knew who it was." "He did?" "Did he tell you?" "He offered to, but the price was too high." "What'd he want then?" "To live." "Oh." "Well, I just came to tell you that we've drawn a blank, and you'll have to climb." "Jemima Brown told me that already." "Jemima did, huh?" "Well, I just want to make sure you got the message." "You know how these Schwarzes are." "You can't really trust 'em." "Pope, I really don't mind you being an asshole." "You can't really help that." "But I do mind you lying to me like I was a fool." "Now you came here with one thought in mind, and that was attach yourself to me so the target would know who I am and what I am." "Now who's gonna perform this sanction if he gets me, you?" "You don't think I can handle it?" "In a locked closet with a grenade." "Just a minute, buddy." "Doesn't bother you a bit that you've blown my cover, does it?" "Not one frigging bit, pal." "And if I walk?" "No way." "You wouldn't get your hundred grand." "You'd lose your paintings." "And you'd probably spend some time for smuggling them into the country." "How does it feel being in a box, sweetheart?" "You've done real well, Pope." "Well, that's mighty white of you." "Hey, that's a joke." "I bet Jemima never says that to you. "Mighty white of you."" "By the way, how's that black stuff?" "Pretty good, huh?" "I guess it's only fair to warn you in advance I'm gonna have to waste you a little." "Well, about your gun, I got one waiting for you." "It's at the hotel." "It's a C-2 special with no serial numbers." "It's in the candy box." "Now what's this about wasting me?" "It's only fair to warn you, Hemlock, that I'm a black belt in karate." "Pope." "Gee, I..." "Gee, I..." "Oh, my hand!" "Okay." "You'll be all right now, Pope." "Course, you may have trouble playing the clarinet for a little while." "Listen, sweetheart, baby, pal," "I'm going back in the hotel, and when I come out," "I don't expect to see you around anymore." "Understand?" "Sleep well." "Good night." "See you tomorrow." "Offer me a nightcap?" "Some other time, thanks." "I wish you luck tomorrow." "Thank you." "I wish Jean-Paul would change his mind." "I can't understand why he's insisting on climbing this mountain at his age." "I can." "He does it for you." "What?" "For me?" "That's right." "He tries to keep you from younger men by staying young himself." "By doing young men's things." "Poor thing." "Yeah." "Particularly since it hasn't worked." "It's colder than a witch's tit." "Good climbing weather, Ben." "Now you listen to me, old buddy." "You come down off that hill in one piece or I'm gonna kick your ass!" "You're not gonna get sloppy on me, are you?" "Now, look, you haven't told me anything, but somehow I know that you and one of them foreigners is gonna have some trouble." "Maybe." "Just guard your flank." "Don't take your eyes off of 'em." " I won't." " Come on, let's be off!" "We must make our first move before the sun unfreezes the rubble." "Take care." "Well, they're on their way." "That frigging Hemlock." "Thinks he's so goddamn cute." "How do you think he'd feel if he knew this whole thing was a fake?" "A fake?" "Sure." "Hemlock's friend?" "That Wormwood?" "He was supposed to get killed." "That's why we hired the drunken bum." "But what about the germ formula?" "I mean, the other side got it." "That's the real cute part." "They were supposed to get it." "It's a phony." "So why the sanctions?" "Well, that's simple." "To sell the other side that the formula's the real thing." "Now, if we just let 'em steal it and not do anything about it, well, they'd get suspicious." "So, we had to assign Hemlock to sanction the assassins." "Do you mean to tell me that you're sitting up here safe, and that Jonathan might be killed?" "And for nothing?" "Honey, don't get worried." "There's still lots of men around here." "Present company excluded." "Jonathan told me that you people were no better than animals, and I should've listened to him." "Don't be late coming up." "We're in the clear, Herr Doctor." "So far so good." "I knew it would be." "Take it." "You want to untie that?" "Karl really likes to lead, doesn't he?" "Uh-huh." "Even more, he likes the title of leader." "As if that makes him a leader." "Tell me, Andrei, you ever spend much time around Zurich?" "There are no mountains there worth climbing." "They can see us pretty well from the hotel today." "It's nice and clear." "I suppose so." "We must give them a good show, Jonathan." "Chocolate?" "Thanks." "Jean-Paul doesn't look well." "Something is on his mind." "Maybe." "Resting already, Herr Doctor?" "Come on, let's get moving." "You don't like me, Herr Doctor, do you?" "I don't dislike you." "I just think you're stupid." "You knew we were going on this climb and still you got involved with Montaigne's wife." "She told you?" "She didn't have to tell me." "The climb's gonna be hard enough without any intrigue." "All right." "What the hell are you doing?" "I couldn't sleep." "I'm checking the ropes." "There was a frayed end on your rope, and I'm cutting it out." "Looks like we have some wet work ahead of us, huh, Freytag?" "Surely, Herr Doctor, you have no objection to a morning shower." "This would be a hell of lot easier in the wintertime." "You suggest we wait?" "Way to move your jaws, Jon." "That thing's gotta be a bitch." "That's gotta be a bitch." "I say, old boy, are you using your scope?" "Do you mind if my wife has a peek?" "Darling, tell him you'll pay for it." "We can pay for it, you know." "Get out of here." "Either of you frigging vampires ever touch this telescope, you're gonna need surgery to get it out of your ass." "Damn rude fellow." "Bloody American farmers, you know." " Rocks!" " Huh?" "Jesus!" "Freytag!" "Meyer!" "Jesus Christ!" "Goddamn!" "Oh, God." "You all right?" "I'm all right." "I'm all right." "Oh, thank God." "Thanks." "Where's Freytag?" "He felt he wasn't needed." "Thought he wasn't needed?" "Freytag, you asshole!" "Tell me, Mr. Bowman, in your opinion, do these men climb to prove their manhood or is it more a matter of compensating for inferiority feelings?" "Lady, why don't you go get yourself screwed?" "It'll do you a lot of good." "Well, the worst is behind us." "You really needn't be so glum, Herr Doctor." "If we have to retreat, we're never gonna make it back through those falls." "You have a defeatist mentality." "We won't retreat." "We'll go straight on up." "You didn't know we were in trouble?" "No." "That's not good." "Oh, it sounds exciting." "Pity I slept through it." "That's the spirit." "Come on, up we go." "Shit!" " What is it?" " It's a foehn moving in." "What's a foehn?" "Warm air, then rain, then a freeze, like all in a flash." "Is that bad?" "It's frigging awful." "That entire mother of a rock is gonna be covered with ice." "But you can't walk on it, and you can't see through it to find a crack in the rocks to drive your pitons." "The snow is all glazed over." "But you'll be able to drop through up to your neck at any time." "Worse thing, it's coming from the south." "They won't even know it's coming until it hits." "Then they must come down." "Lady, by the time they find out, they won't be able to come down." "They won't be able to go up." "They're just gonna be stuck." "You all right?" "Yes, let's rest." "Morning." "How's Jean-Paul?" "He's dead." "He must have gone during the storm." "Drink that." "How do you know he's dead?" "I looked at him." "You saw he was dead, and then you made a pot of tea?" "Drink it before it gets cold." "He had a concussion." "The storm was too much." "The man inside couldn't keep the man outside from dying." "What now?" "Moving ahead is out of the question." "Conditions are impossible." "We're gonna have to go back." "Through the ravine?" "No, the ravine's impossible, too." " Andrei, you listening?" " Yeah." "Speak up if you disagree." "You're doing fine." "All right." "We traverse back across the ice field to a place approximately above the rail road tunnel window." "There, if we can get a rope down, Ben will be waiting with help." "I'll lead." "Karl, you be second." "Meyer, you bring up the rear." "We'll string Jean-Paul's body on a separate line between us." "We gonna carry Montaigne back down?" "A climber always brings home his dead." "We'll get down." " Mr. Bowman?" " Just go away." "Oh, you're Jon's friend, aren't you?" "Yeah." "How is he?" "Uh, well, they're coming down." "Shit, I don't know." "Montaigne is hurt or he's dead." "Do you think they can get down safely?" "There's only one chance." "Everything is iced." "If they can get to those cliffs above the station window, maybe they can rope down and we can pull them in." "How much of a chance do you think they have?" "Not much, but it's the only one." "As soon as I find out that that's what they're doing," "I'll bring men up to the station." "You know, I didn't want him to make this climb." "And now, Montaigne is either hurt or he's dead." "I knew there'd be death." "It was planned that way." "All for nothing." "Drop your packs." "We'll rig some safety lines up." "Jesus Christ." "Yeah, but think of what it must be like up there for them." "Come on, Jon." "Get your ass off that hill." "Jonathan!" "Damn it!" "Belay me." "Hang on." "Jonathan, watch it!" "Hang on." "We should be over the tunnel window." "In the future, I wish you would not use me to ride around on like a sled." "Look, you better get up there before he panics." "Those pins are loose." "Jonathan, you're very good." "I have really enjoyed climbing with you." "We'll make it." "I don't think so." "But we shall continue with style." "Take it easy." "Take it easy." "Don't panic." "Wait." "Look out!" "I can't hold him!" "The ice is cracking!" "Jon!" "You're limping, Ben." "I'm gonna throw you a rope." "You're limping, Ben." "Listen to me." "I'm gonna throw you a rope, Jon." "Catch this rope when I throw it to you." "Wrap it around you." "Wrap the rope around you." "Hook the rope to you!" "Good!" "Now cut the rope above you." "Jon, do what I tell you." "Cut the rope above you." "Cut the rope above you, Jon." "Cold mountain air really bothers the old frostbite." "You ought to remember, Jon." "You hauled me down off that mountain when my feet froze." "I'm the one you're after." "I never planned for Henri Baq to die." "I was supposed to take him out and buy him some drinks and con him out of the microfilm." "I was as surprised as anybody when Kruger killed him." "How'd you get involved with the other side anyway?" "Miles Mellough." "I owed him." "He helped get my daughter off drugs." "Daughter?" "George is my little girl." "Took a chance coming up on the mountain." "You took a chance when you cut that rope." "Old pink eyes is back." "Jesus." "Yeah?" "Hemlock, we don't know and we don't want to know how you managed to precipitate all three fellow climbers from the mountain." "We assume that, unable to discover your target, you decided to take all three." "Extravagant, but effective." "And you have always been both." "We regret that your file will be placed in the inactive list." "However, we hope that one day you may work with our organization again." "Good-b ye, Dr. Hemlock." "Thank you, baby." "Well, C-2 thinks they've got their man." "There's no reason to persuade them otherwise." "You wouldn't shit me, would you, Jon?" "Hate to spend the rest of my life looking over my shoulder for you, like Miles did." "Forget it, Ben." "Look..." "Yeah." "Well, maybe someday we'll do some more climbing together." "Maybe." "You know what I don't have, baby?" "What don't you have?" "I don't have a ticket back home." "I'll take care of it." "That art collection of mine is not going to get any bigger, but I'd sure like to have you take a long look at it." "I thought you'd never ask." "I'll get two tickets." "Jonathan, you can tell me." "You didn't really sanction all three of them, did you?"