"Their's ?" "be great." "The kind of day where you find cool pants all washed and ready to go." "Yes." "Where you're having a good hair day." "All over your body." "Life was so good you could taste it, and it tasted like crunchberries." "Hey, champ." "Want my cereal milk?" "Oh, bring it." "What made today so great?" "It was the first meeting of the Junior Homecoming Float Committee, the one place in school where my ideas and opinions not only weren't mocked and ridiculed, but were actually respected." "It all started last year, and completely by accident." "Hey, Tolchuck!" "We want to pound you!" "Don't tell him!" "You let him get away." "Hi, I'm here for the..." "Sophomore Float Committee." "Really?" "Come on, guys, think." "We need a really great idea for this year's float." "Something fresh and original." "How about "Sophomores rock!"?" "Yeah, but the juniors already took "rock."" "Damn." "We could do "Sophomores rule!"" "No, that's what the seniors are doing." ""Sophomores rip"?" "We do rip, but, uh, not as much as we rock." "This sucks!" "All the great ideas are taken." "I don't know where it came from." "It might have been the boredom or the hunger from the parasite" "I wouldn't discover for two more months." "All I know is I somehow managed to come up with the greatest idea for the sophomore float in school history." "Oh, my God!" "That's perfect!" "Look what Justin came up with!" ""Soph-S'mores"?" "Yeah." "That's awesome, man!" "The float could be a giant s'more!" "We'll spray-paint mattresses for the graham crackers!" "Yeah, and we can throw marshmallows at the crowd from it!" "Way to go, Justin!" "For the first time in my life," "I knew what it felt like to be a star, and it felt good." "As it turned out, I wasn't the only one in the family looking forward to homecoming." "Good morning, Mrs. Tolchuck." "Oh, it sure is, Raja." "You must be super-razzed, huh, Justin!" "First committee meeting for the Junior Float." "Oh, really?" "Is that today?" "Totally slipped my mind." "My brilliantly creative genius mind." "And Claire" "Homecoming Princess." "And as a sophomore!" "Uh, I think you mean "Soph-S'more."" "And I'm out." "Claire, we're gonna take you shopping later." "And get you a real snazzy dress." "I can do the dress shopping by myself." "Don't be ridiculous." "We'll go together." "I was a Homecoming Princess, too, you know." "And your dad was on court." "It was such a magical night." "That's a good one." "All right." "Look, not to be a jerk, but we got this limo on an hourly rate, so..." "Oh." "Anyhoo..." "I know just the kind of dress we're gonna get you." "Mom, that was like, 20 years ago." "Styles have changed." "What?" "It was not 20 years ago." "I'm not that old." "It was, what, 1983...'84..." "Oh, my God." "Great." "I'm going dressed as a cavegirl." "23 years." "Where did it all go?" "I decided to bring Raja to the float committee meeting." "I thought it would be good for him to see a place where I was respected." "Well, guys, any ideas for the junior float?" "Why even bother?" "It mean it's obvious Tolchuck's just gonna nail it again like he did last year." "Justin?" "Do you have s'more big ideas for this year?" "Well, no, I..." "I mean I have been kicking around a few notions." "And, uh..." "Yeah." "I don't know." "Maybe..." "I'll have something that you guys might like." "Uh, let's see." ""Junior Mints."" "Yeah!" "Yes!" "That's hilarious!" "I love it!" "Totally awesome, man!" "You're a genius, Justin!" "mn it." "He did it again!" "The float could be a giant box of candy!" "Yeah, we can throw mints at the crowd from it!" "That's exactly what I was..." "And see here, this is where the actual, uh, where the car's actually gonna go." "May I please ask a question?" "Uh, oh, yeah, sure." "Go ahead, Raja." "This is all very wonderful, but... what does it mean?" "What does it mean?" "Well, we're juniors, so..." "Junior Mints." "It's a candy." "Oh, oh, yes, I am familiar with the, uh, tiny chocolaty disks." "And whilst they are indeed delectably delicious," "I do not understand the connection." "I shouldn't have been angry at him." "He wasn't purposely sabotaging my idea, but he couldn't have done a better job if he was." "Yeah, you know, I wasn't gonna say anything, but, uh, I don't get it either." "Yeah, I-I thought I did, but, uh, maybe I don't." "No, look, you guys are just overthinking it." "It's not..." "No, no, Raja's got a point." "It doesn't say anything about the junior class." "You know, the fact that it rocks." "To me this is just an opportunity to perhaps do something meaningful and bring people together." "But, but that-that's not what..." "Did you have something in mind, Raja?" "No, but what makes me proud to be at this school is that we are all people from different backgrounds, different places, and yet we are still ble to cometogether to talk and share ideas in unity." "Unity?" "That-that's great." "Yeah." "I like it." "I love it!" "We could do a giant globe!" "And we can have papier-maché figures from different countries standing around it, and holding hands!" "You guys, I, I have more stuff." "What should we throw from it?" "How about Raja?" "±¾×ÖÄ"½ö¹©Ñ§Ï°½"Á÷£¬ÑÏ½ûÓÃÓÚÉÌÒµÓÃÍ¾" "=ÆÆÀÃÐÜ×ÖÄ"×é=- ·­Òë£º¸öÈËID Ð£¶Ô£º¸öÈËID Ê±¼äÖá£ºËÉÊó" "Do me a favor try these dresses on." "I'm not trying to sell them to you." "I just want to see them worn how they're supposed to be worn." "My mom didn't usually fall for this kind of stuff, but what happened in the kitchenthat morning had thrown her for a bit of a loop." "Thank you, so much." "But, um, I'm, I'm actually here with my daughter." "I don't believe it." "When did you have her, when you were like minus two?" "So, what do you think?" "Oh, my God." "Hold these a sec." "I love it." "I love it." "Turn for me." "Ooh, a little tiny." "Don't you think?" "For you, yeah, but for her, well... you know, I mean, she's young." "Things only got worse for Mom when she noticed the stuff the clerk had actually picked out for her old, old, old." "As for the "Unity" thing," "I am struggling somewhat." "Just look at him." "That should be me over there, basking in their adulation." "I had a slam dunk with that mints idea, and then he comes at me with "What does it mean?"" "What, what does it mean?" "What are you talking about?" "It's obvious." "Well, is it?" "I mean, I get the Junior part, but what are you trying to say?" "That we're minty?" "I don't see it." "Well, yeah, sure, if you try hard enough you can pick anything apart." "Dude, get over it." "Who cares?" "It's a float." "It goes by and they throw candy at you." "Not this year." "Well, to be honest with you," "I didn't get the "Soph-S'mores" thing either." "Yeah, that bothered me, too." "You guys are bad friends." "Don't be like that." "Unity, dude." "Justin!" "Come help us." "Yes, Justin, please do." "Your drafting skills are far superior to mine." "The Unity float will certainly benefit from your expertise." "This was it my chance for revenge on the person who had ruined everything for me." "I tried to fight it, but there was no way I could pass it up." "Oops." "Sorry." "It wasn't much, but it was something." "That night, Mom went looking for Claire." "Claire, honey, you home?" "Well, not exactly Claire." "She liked what she saw." "Hmm." "Wow." "Not too shabby." "Hey, hon, have you seen the plunger?" "I was..." "Hey, looking good." "Really?" "I can still pull it off?" "Are you kidding?" "You look fantastic." "I have half a mind to put you out on the street." "I'll have you know," "I'm appointment only." "But I guess I could squeeze you in." "Wait." "Oh, no, Gary." "Not in the dress." "Leave it on." "Okeydoke." "Oh, yeah." "Oh, ?" "?" "I thought there was America, and like, ten others." "Which one are you from, Raja?" "Uh, I am from Pakistan." "Right here." "Oh, man!" "I thought that was Canada." "This wasn't Rob's fault." "Our World Geography teacher had his jaw wired after a jet ski accident." "(mumbling)" "The Hawaiian head needs more yellow." "It's just not popping." "We used all the yellow on the Asian head." "Intentional or not," "Raja had stolen everything that mattered most to me." "And I was determined to take it back." "I knew I couldn't beat him with a better idea, so I camup with a cheaper one." "Teen sex." "What?" "What?" "Hmm?" "What?" "See?" "Got your attention, didn't it?" "It's a grabber." "What are you talking about?" "I've been thinking a lot about the theme for the float, okay?" "And sure, we could go with something nice and safe like unity." "Or we could do something important that people are talking about: teen sex." "I do not understand what it is exactly you are trying to say." "Look, you've got to wake up to reality, man." "Teen sex is happening everywhere, ok but we can't talk about it in the classrooms or in the churches." "So we got to take the dialogue to the streets." "In our floats." "It would get a lot of attention." "Perhaps this is true, but I still think that unity is the stronger idea." "That's just because you're afraid to take a stand, but I am not." "Are you?" "Well, no." "Are you?" "No." "Nicole?" "Unprotected sex is a huge problem at school." "The float could be two kids lying on a bed making out." "Yeah, and we can throw condoms at the crowd." "Yeah Yeah" "Different colors..." "That's what I'm talking about!" "So what do you say we stand together against this "unity" idea and do something really important." "Let's do it." "I can't believe it." "He did it again." "Things were back on track." "I was once again God in the eyes of the float committee." "The only downside was that it was at Raja's expense." "Hey." "Hello." "You know, I'm..." "I'm pretty full." "You can have my milk if you want it." "Justin, why do you not take your sugary milk and pour it in your ass." "What?" "I am sorry." "That was inappropriate." "But I am so disappointed in you." "You purposely ruined the "unity" theme for the float." "What are you talking about?" "That's ridiculous." "I just came up with something better." "Something you knew that my religious beliefs would forbid me from taking part in." "You're-you're giving me way too much credit here, man." "I really don't know much about your religion." "In my defense," "Mr. Jenkins also taught world religion." "(mumbling)" "What?" "Justin, we both know unity is a superior idea, and is that not what is most important?" "To have the best float irrespective of where the idea came from?" "Maybe in your backwards country, but not here in America, so..." "What are you doing with that?" "Put that down." "Put it down." "Don't you..." "don't you do that." "Don't you do that!" "That is messed!" "Yes, it is." "And I will clean it up now, but out of respect to your family, not you, Justin Tolchuck." "Look, Raja, I'm not the bad guy here, okay?" "That float committee thing meant a lot to me and you came in and, and took it away and I just returned the favor." "I was furious, but I wasn't sure if it was at Raja or the fact that he may have had a point." "But however mixed my feelings were, they were nothing compared to the confusion my dad was about to experience." "Oh, come on, ladies!" "It's an octagon, not a country bake-off." "You can't tap out the minute your ears start bleeding." "Nice." "That's what I want to see." "Do you like my dress, Daddy?" "It's for the Homecoming Dance." "Later that night, my mom and dad ?" "She looks like a whore!" "There is no way that my Claire is going to Homecoming Dance in that dress." "I think you're overreacting." "Overreacting?" "It's practically showing her..." "I mean, it's barely covering her..." "Breasts?" "Don't you talk that way about my little girl." "Gary, she's not a little girl anymore." "My mother came to that realization over last summer." "Mommy?" "Yes, sweetie?" "I'm going to go outside and play in the sprinklers and then wait for the ice cream truck." "Okay." "And you better get used to them, 'cause they're not going anywhere." "Fine, she can have the breasts, but she cannot have the dress." "Oh, come on, Gar." "Have you noticed the things she's been wearing to school these days?" "This morning she wore a belly top and low-rider jeans." "I thought she was in a play or something." "Come here." "Hon, I know this is hard, but we just have to accept the fact that time is passing." "There's nothing we can do about it." "Claire's growing up." "I guess you're right." "Yeah, so, the dress...?" "In the garbage." "Okay." "Back at school I was doing my best not to think of Raja." "He may not have understood how much I needed this, but it wasn't my fault." "I felt bad about crushing him, but I had no choice." "Score!" "Check this crap out." ""Unity Head of Manylands"?" ""Caucasian"?" "What the hell is a Caucasian?" "I don't know, but they should go back to where they came from." "Look at me." "I'm Caucasian." "Me, too." "I'm lazy and stupid." "The Palladini brothers didn't help things." "Caucasia!" "Caucasia!" "I smell funny and I came to steayour job." "Okay, maybe Raja really did have a point about the importance of international brotherhood." "But on the other hand, if the Palladinis' parents had learned about responsible sex, these jackasses might never have been born." "Guys, guys, guys, this sex banner has to be lowered... lowered more because it hits the message harder that way, see?" "You know, he's right." "Yeah, totally." "Guy's a freakin' genius." "What in the hell is going on here?" "Huh?" ""Teen Sex"?" "!" "Are you kids on crack?" "You are not putting a sex float in my homecoming parade." "But, Mr. Matthews, you don't understand." "Don't you "Mr. Matthews" me, young lady." "This is a school- sanctioned event." "You are not going to have two kids bumping uglies on a float." "Nobody said that..." "No, no, there will be no girl-on-guy action." "There will be no two-girls-and-a-guy action." "There will be no two-guys-and-a-girl action." "There will be no action at all!" "No, no, no, no, we weren't trying to do that." "We were just trying to make a..." "You are going to have the same pointless float that you have every year." "I don't care if it rips, it rules, or it rocks." "It doesn't go humpity, humpity." "Mr. Matthews." "What is it, Raja?" "I just wish to say that I too share your concerns." "Here it was:" "Raja's revenge." "But then I came to the understanding that the intent of this float was not to sensationalize teenage sex, but rather, to inform and educate so that young people can make responsible choices, because, Mr. Matthews, they face so many..." "I couldn't believe it." "After everything I did to screw him over, here Raja was fighting for an idea he didn't believe in, and was pretty sure I didn't either, just because he knew what it meant to me." "...let us not forget vaginal warts and searing herpetic lesions." "So I ask you... can you live with that?" "You make a very graphic point there, Raja." "Thank you." "But the answer is no." "That's so unfair." "That's too bad." "The little orgy float..." "is canceled." "And that's that." "Another thing being canceled that day was Claire's dress." "Although she took it surprising well." "I'm not a child!" "I'm a grown woman!" "Come on, honey." "Just let go of the dress." "We'll just return it and get you another one." "From Valentina?" "Hon?" "Barrington's." "Cee Cee's." "Cee Cee's Rack." "Deal." "We are royally screwed." "Yeah." "Who was I kidding?" "We don't rock at all." "Well, we still have time to do "Junior Mints," don't we?" "That was a pretty good idea." "Yeah, I always liked it." "I say we do it." "And there it was." "Out of nowhere, my chance to be back on top." "But I couldn't do it." "You know what, guys?" "Uh,Raja was right:" "the whole Junior Mints idea doesn't really mean anything." "But his unity idea did." "But most of the heads are pretty damaged." "I think some raccoons got at them." "Perhaps, in the spirit of unity, we could combine all our ideas for the float." "All the ideas?" "Uh-huh, in this way, everyone will have contributed." "That could work." "Yeah." "We can do "Junior Mints" and "Unity."" "And "Juniors Rock"?" "Yes, quite definitely "Juniors Rock."" "At home, just like at school, everyone got their way." "Claire got to wear a dress that cost just as much as Dad's car." "10:00 p.m., princess." "Dad..." "Not a negotiation. 10:00." "That's so unfair!" "Gary..." "And dad got what he wanted, too." "You make a compelling argument." "I don't want to see you one minute before midnight." "And that's the story of how the lamest float in Medora High School history came to be." "Oh, my God!" "Oh, my God!" "That's my daughter." "Nobody had a clue what the float was supposed to mean." "Except maybe for me and Raja." "And to be perfectly honest," "I'm not even sure about the two of us."