"Okay." " We'll get the hang of it." " Yeah." "Okay." "There you go." "[shushing]" "Where'd you put the food?" "I'm starving." "Oh, shit!" "Oh, God." "I..." "I put the food by the door." "I'm so sorry." "I will get you something else." "I'm okay." "No, you're exhausted and you need something to eat." "I will go get you something, okay?" "Lie down." "The stuff they brought earlier was fucking disgusting." "Yes, I know it was disgusting." "Could you not say fucking around the baby, maybe just like..." " Give it a week, don't you think?" " Yeah, one week." "Okay, one week." "All right, lie down." "Okay?" "I'll be back in a minute, all right?" "Your daddy's gonna get your mommy some fucking food." " A week." " And he'd better fucking hurry." "That's very funny." "[door closes]" "Excuse me, do you know where-- Is there" " Okay." "Erin..." "Jonah." "Hi." "Hi." "I..." "I thought you moved to Brooklyn." "Yeah, no, I did." "I..." "My mom still lives here so..." "I'm here with her for..." "for a little while, I think." "I heard you were still at the college." "Yeah." " Teaching or...?" " Yeah, I'm a professor now." " That was fast." " Yeah." "I hope it's nothing too serious, is it?" "Yeah, you know..." "It's tough, she's not even 60." "Shit." " I'm sorry." "I'm sorry." " No, it's..." "I really always liked her." "Yeah, she... she really liked you, too." "You actually..." "You actually made quite the impression on her." "She's... been kind of tough on my boyfriends ever since we broke up." " Come on." " No, really." "Are you okay?" "What are you doing here?" "Well, my wife... [nervous chuckle]" "Amy, she..." "Oh, my God, I'm so sorry." "Yeah, thank you." "Thanks." "What took you so long?" "Nothing." "Everything was closed." "[baby whines]" " Sorry." " It's all right." "Isabelle, it's all right." "Isabelle, look at me." "It's okay." "You're okay." "[children screaming] [children screaming] [gunfire] [woman] It's very difficult conditions of work, you have no infrastructure." "When you get to places, you just have to wait most of the time." "[screaming continues] [gunfire continues]" "[man] Very often, we'd be working together somewhere." "You know, photographers everywhere." "Something would happen, they'd go to it like bees, looking at the same thing, focus on the same thing." "She'd get the shot." "[man 2]...producing memorable images under extreme hazards." "Congratulations." "[applause] [woman] When I first started, I thought the job was to get as close as possible." "The exciting part of it was probably what drew me to it." "Then I became confused and I thought I had to stay until after the tanks had left to show the damage, maybe," " The consequences, the toll of war." " The consequences." "[phone ringing]" "But, yes, the other side of the war." "Yeah, I think that's most of my photographs, my recent photographs are the testimony of." "[Charlie Rose] How long will you do this?" "And when will you know it's time?" "I think it's..." "Yes, it's my responsibility." "No, I don't think I should stop." "Why should I?" "[woman] In a twist of fate, having finally quit the hazardous world of conflict photography," "Isabelle Reed died in a car accident less than a mile from her home in Nyack, New York." "She was 57 years old, leaving behind her husband and two sons." "Well, you get the idea." "It has to be this brief." "People don't like to watch long films as part of an exhibition." "Sure, sure." "Well, it seems..." "it seems totally fine to me." "Some of the prints of her photos are already done." "Did you see them on the way up?" "No, I didn't get a chance." " [woman 1] They look great." " [woman 2] Yeah." " Good." " [woman 1] We wanted to ask you" "I know it's been a while, but have you kept any of her material at your house, something we could take a look at?" "I'm afraid it's..." "it's all a bit of a mess." "Could there be something from her last trip?" "The one to Syria." "I never saw any pictures from that." "Well, I'll run it by Jonah and..." "Well..." "I don't see any reason why you can't have a look." "Great, we appreciate it." "Did they tell you I'm doing an article about Isabelle for the New York Times," " sort of a build up to the exhibition?" " Yeah, they told me." "She always thought the one in print had been cropped a bit too much on the right, down here." " Oh, yes." " I see what she meant." "So... when I write this article," "I don't think I can avoid mentioning how she died." "That it wasn't really an accident." "Yeah." "So, are you saying that you want to write that she killed herself?" "Gene, I don't want to be a part of romanticizing what we do." "Isabelle wouldn't either." "I mean, this is hard." "It takes a toll, and..." "Well, I don't have to tell you, but it was hard on her." "Yeah." " Yeah." " So... it's been a few years, so I just wanted you and the boys to know before the... before the article comes out." "And they know what really happened, right?" "Well, Jonah obviously does, yeah." "But Conrad" " Well, he was 1 2 so..." "That's a conversation." "Here, let me show you something else." "[woman speaking distorted in background]" "[school bell rings]" "[phone rings]" "Yeah?" "[Gene] Hey." " It's me." " Yeah, I know, Dad." "So what are you doing?" "I'm just with Kenneth and some others." "Okay." "No I just wondered what time you were coming home?" "Don't know." "I'm making tacos." "Yeah, I'm kind of busy right now, Dad." "I'll talk to you later." "♪♪ [rock music plays on radio] [door shuts]" "Hello?" "[door slams]" "Can I come in?" "[video game noises]" "What are you playing?" "Are you the girl?" " It's a sorceress." " A what?" " I play other characters, too." " Yeah." "You know that meeting I had this morning?" "Well, Richard was there." "You remember Richard, don't you?" "Well, he's gonna be writing this article, and it just reminded me that there was some stuff that you and I, we just needed to talk about." "Can you turn that off?" "Or you can just put it on pause?" "Conrad, can you..." "can you please turn that off?" "Get out!" "Get the fuck out." "Don't you speak to me like that." "I'm just trying to talk to you." "All right, stop this." "Stop this." "Stop it." "This isn't funny." "Stop it!" "[door opens, shuts]" "[crickets chirping]" "Wake up." "[students chatter]" ""But now as he sink further and further from the waves above, it wasn't the crucial moments that came to him." "Instead his thoughts traveled to the outer reaches of his memory, small events long forgotten." "He remembered a sentence he had read in the paper a few days ago and didn't understand." "He thought of an old suitcase he had stored in his uncle's attic, a brief glance from a stranger, inconsensual fragments of presence--"" "Inconsequential." "Inconsequential." ""Inconsequential fragments all present at once during his final seconds." "Seconds that were not seconds anymore, but stretched out to minutes." "Time suspended."" ""Seconds that were not seconds anymore, but stretched out to minutes." "Time suspended. "" "What could she have been thinking?" "What went through her mind when she realized the accident was unavoidable?" "She remembered lying on the beach, dozing off, feeling the wind blowing grains of sand on her face, thinking that if she just kept still long enough, it would end up covering her." "Maybe she remembered places." "Our house." "The hallway." "The living room." "Maybe she even thought about him." "She could have." "Some little thing." "Something he himself had forgotten." " Conrad!" " He was hiding." " Listening to her calling out his name." " Where are you?" "He realized now she must have seen him, all the time he was standing there." "She just pretended not to, never straying too far away, always watching him from the corner of her eye." "[teacher] Conrad?" "Conrad." "Conrad." "She seems to be implying that the belief that wisdom comes with old age is a myth." "Wouldn't you agree?" "[cell phone buzzes]" " Yeah?" " [Gene] Hey." " It's me." " Yeah, I know, Dad." "So what are you doing?" "I'm with Kenneth and some others." "Okay." "No, I just wondered what time you were coming home?" "Don't know." "[girls chattering]" " I'm making tacos." " Yeah." "I'm kinda busy right now, Dad." "I'll talk to you later." "[wind rustles]" "♪♪ [cafe music]" "How about just a coffee." "Thank you so much." "[barista] Can I help you?" "[Isabelle] And I was amazed because I couldn't feel anything." "But it was like..." "I felt like I was outside of it." "All I could think was this will destroy me, my life will never be the same." "You make it sound like that might be a good thing." "[Isabelle] And you were there, too." " [Gene] Really?" " [Isabelle] Yeah, just watching." "[Gene] Just watching." "[Isabelle] I couldn't see you, but I could smell your cigarette." "[Gene] My cigarette?" "In my dream, you are a smoker." "[chuckles]" "So, why are you telling me this?" "I'm just wondering what it means, but..." "But it's only a dream." "You want me to tell you what it means?" "Okay." "You think I'm passive and boring, or something like that." "But really, you're bored because you're hanging around the house all day." "And you want to pick a fight with me." "Interesting." "Did I touch a nerve?" "Yeah, it did touch a nerve, if you don't mind me saying so." "This guy who's sitting there, not saying anything, just watching..." "But you were not doing..." "No, you were just..." "Was it like..." "Was it like this?" "Or like this?" "Or like this..." "I don't know, but it was very scary." "Really?" "[door shuts]" "♪♪ [upbeat music plays]" "Are you sleeping in?" " Great to see you." " Hi." " Good to see you too." " So... where's Amy and the baby?" "Yeah, we finally decided against it." "It's a six hour drive with a baby in the car..." " Yeah, I understand." " Yeah." "Sure." "Okay, well..." "Let me get dressed and I'll see you in a moment, okay?" "Sure, take your time." "You want a cup of coffee?" "[Jonah] Dad lets you eat that stuff?" "Yeah." "That's interesting." "Whoops!" "You can see that I've started there." "They're just..." " Yeah." "Yeah." " You know, put aside some junk." "You know, we can let the agency deal with this." "We can't give this to the gallery people." "I want to go through everything first." "Remember that tacky photo book they made?" "Listen, Dad, Mom was so protective of her stuff, okay?" "I wouldn't even know we'd be giving them." "Look at this." "Yes, we wouldn't want this to fall into the wrong hands, would we?" "What are you do-- What are you even looking at here?" "This is your head shot?" "People saw this and said, "Yes, we would like him."" "What is that look on your face?" "You look like you're about to murder somebody on this side of the photograph." "Turn it over." "She kept it because she thought it was a really good photo of me." "My agent thought my good looks would hamper a serious acting career." "Yeah, your career might be hampered?" "You were too attractive?" " That was your problem." " Too attractive." "Why don't we get some breakfast?" "No, I'm fine." "I think I have a pretty good idea about how to do this." "Come on." "You haven't been here for a while." "Let's..." " Let's do it together." " Actually I'd love to just get started." "Okay, sure." "[knocking]" " How is everything?" " [Jonah] Fine." "Did you find the towel?" "Yeah, the one that was on the bed." "Yeah." "Yeah." "I had my room all ready for you guys." "Good." "It's..." "It's really great to have you here." " Thanks." " I've been thinking, you know." "I think it's time we told Conrad what happened with Isabelle." "Wait..." "Why... why now?" "Because he is older." "And... you know this article that Richard is gonna write." "I'm sure it's gonna be tasteful, but he wants to mention it." "That's what he told me." "Well, I mean, he can't..." "He can't do that." "Did you tell him he can't do that?" "You know, I've really been thinking about this, and I think that Conrad has a right to know." "Yeah." "It's not been so great with me and him lately." "That's why I'm really thrilled that you're here." " So..." " Goodnight." "[door closes]" "[Gene] He thinks I can't hear anything when he's on those earphones, but you know, I know that he's up late every night, playing with... games with these kids from New Zealand or Japan or wherever." "So I got this idea to log on..." "But you can't just start playing, you know, you have to, you have to make up a character, so I spent hours doing that." "And then I spent a really long time walking around in that world." "Looking for him." "So last night, I log on, I am so excited." "I'm walking around in this world..." "And suddenly I see him, there he is." "And he looks over and sees me, and I'm looking at him and he's looking at me." "[character groans] [chuckles] Oh, no." "[Gene] Yeah." "I just wanted us to have some fun, you know." "[woman] That sounds like fun." "I mean, he didn't even know it was me." "Yeah." "It's kind of pathetic really, isn't it?" "He's a good kid, you know." "It's just a difficult age." "♪♪ [jazz music plays]" "[Gene] She was young." "Somebody had said late 30s." "No children." "But she seemed younger." "No, not when she smiled." "And how did he appear to her in this harsh classroom school lighting?" "Those earrings are just wrong." "Why wear something like that to a teachers' get together?" "Was it for him?" "No, he was just being conceited." "She was just being friendly, being new at the school, being his colleague and all." "Oh, by the way," "I think you're going to have my youngest son, Conrad," " in your English class next year." " Youngest?" "I've got two boys." "And the eldest is finishing his PhD in Sociology." "That's impressive." "He's gonna be teaching next year and his wife is pregnant, which means I'm gonna be a grandfather." "I can't believe it." "Congratulations." "Thank you." "Why the hell did he have to mention that?" "She was probably thinking of her grandfather, now, the odor of tobacco and urine." "Phones with large dials, dying slowly of throat cancer." " What's so funny?" " Nothing." "Nothing." "Not really, nothing." "[both chuckle]" "♪♪ [RB music playing]" "Thank you." "[both laughing]" " Can I tell you something?" " Yeah." "I shouldn't really be telling you this, but fuck it." "This is the first time that I've slept with somebody, properly, since my wife passed away, which was two years ago." "Properly?" "Well, there were one or two..." " ...incidences." " Improper ones." "I was..." "I was too tense." "Yeah..." "It's just..." "It's, you know, when you get older, you're just more conscious of your body and the way it..." "It's getting weird, sneaking around like this." "It's uncomfortable looking at Conrad in class and pretending he's just like the other kids." "Yeah." "[Isabelle] It was early and freezing." "There was a group of men preparing the burial of a young boy." "Children were dying daily." "I felt I had to get this one right." "That this might convey something about what was going on." "And there was this man," "I thought he had to be the boy's father." "I was searching for some sign that it was okay to be there, that he accepted me." "I'm faced with this every time." "Can I take a photo that tells their story?" "The way they would if they could tell it?" "And is that my job?" "Or shouldn't I instead use this family to tell something bigger, and in some ways, more important?" "At the risk of reducing them to an example, to victims." "In times of war or extreme poverty." "The codes for civilized behavior are suspended." "In so called normal life, no one would go into a house where people are grieving and photograph them." "I try to approach people with respect," "I try not to speak too loud, or move too fast." "I want to be open." "I want to feel open in my heart towards them." "And... they do sense it." "Even with no words at all." "Hey, buddy." "Come sit down." "I just wanted to talk to you." "And I wanted to know... if if you ever think about Mom?" "Do you ever think about the car accident?" " Why?" " Well..." "There's no story in a car accident, you know, so people... people have to make one up." "They have to invent some things that they have something to blame," " or something, you know." "It's..." " [Gene] Hello?" "It's very normal but..." "honestly, it was just bad luck." "I mean, it's fucked up but... it's not like it was anyone's fault or anything." "You know?" "He's not doing that well." "I don't think you should tell him what you told me last night." " You know?" " I don't know." "I" "Don't you think he deserves to know the truth?" "The truth?" "What is the truth?" "What, some story that Richard wants to write, how is that the truth?" "He's gonna make her out to seem like she's some kind of depressed person." "No, I don't think he will." "But she was depressed, you know that, right?" "I mean, you were away at college." "I mean..." "Sometimes I think it must have been really hard for you." "I mean, it was a tough year." "You didn't know what was really going on." "I mean, it was..." "Yeah." "You couldn't know what was going on." "Actually, I did know what was going on, 'cause she'd call me all the time, like, when she wouldn't talk to you, she would talk to me, so I spoke to her all the time." " Yeah?" " Yeah." "Anyway, I guess this story suits you perfectly, 'cause then you can make her out to be the negligent parent and you can be like the perfect parent..." "Yeah..." " I don't want to argue about this." " No?" "I guess I don't, either." "Just think really hard about what you're doing here, because..." "I mean, even if you see her that way," "I don't think Conrad has to." "[chattering]" " It's Gene's baby." " It's not my baby." " That's so cute." " Yeah." " That is priceless." " Lt is." "Look at that." "Is that the mother?" " She's young." " She's 28." "Look at that one." "Yeah, this was taken just after she woke up." "♪♪ [dance music playing]" "Oh, my God!" "That was so weird." "Oh, my God!" "Dude, you're like the Billy Elliot of hip-hop." "[soft chuckle]" "Hey, man, I'm sorry." "No, no." "It was funny." "It was really..." "It was really weird, but it was really funny." "It was funny, it was funny." "It was fine." "What was it anyway?" "What are you watching?" " What are we listening to?" "What is that?" " It's old." "What else are you watching here?" "Birds, skeleton, decomposing..." "This is what you look at?" "Here..." "You're not gonna, like, shoot up a school one day, are you?" "[Jonah] What is this?" "What are we looking at?" "What are we watching here?" " Just wait and watch..." " Okay." "[woman] Is there somebody in charge that I can see?" " Dr. Scanlon." " Dr. Scanlon?" "Dr. Scanlon?" "Dr. Scanlon..." " Excuse me, Dr. Scanlon?" " Wait for it..." "Excuse me, doctor?" "Oh, my God!" "Oh, my God!" "Oh, my God." "Is that real?" "That's horrible." "Don't look at us." " Look at his hair." " Oh, God, that's so creepy." "Yeah, sure." " Wait, how did you find this?" " No, wait." "Watch." "Any chance" " Oh, my God!" " Are you okay?" "Where are you?" "Where are you?" "Okay, okay." " No, look everywhere." "Like up, down." " Oh, my God!" " Everywhere..." " Okay, okay, okay." "Okay, I'm going up the thing." "Yeah, don't you think these games are kind of stupid?" "You're aware that this is like a very one-dimensional representation of US military Intervention, right?" "It's very realistic." " It's like really being there, you know?" " Right." "And when you wear the headphones, it's like everywhere." "Okay." "Right." "But do you think it's fun?" "Do you agree?" "What is that?" "[Conrad] I don't know." " Did you write this?" " Yeah." "[Conrad] "Am I crazy thinking about setting fire to Marion Wilkinson's hair?" "Hair that burns always smell really bad." "In 1999, three other boys with the name Conrad Reed were born." "I use eight sheets of toilet paper, sometimes 12." "I wonder if people use more or less." "I have 14 pairs of socks if I count the warm woolen ones." "I got 14 pairs of underwear." "Twenty T-shirts, 21 books, 108 comic books, sixteen DVDs, 121 films on my computer." "After Mom died in the accident," "Dad and I went on a trip to Egypt." "Kenneth didn't even know that Egypt is in Africa." "I like clips that are short and real." "It has to be real." "Goosebumps are real." "I don't like when people try to be funny." "I saw a woman wearing Mom's green sweater." "Dad said it couldn't be her sweater." "He didn't give her clothes to the Salvation Army to avoid meeting her clothes like that." "I remember Mom giving me a hug in that sweater." "It felt stiff like I didn't want her to give me a hug, but I really wanted her to give me a hug." "My characters, Mechazar, Orthac, Grimgash, Killz." "Lindir is the High Elf." "I played her till Level 41, but I prefer playing a Nightblade." "The highest stamina I ever had was Brian Bartu." "He almost didn't really" "Once we stopped over in London on" "The most times I've jerked off in one day:" "Sometimes when I wear my headphones, I think I'm breathing too loud." "So I stop, but then when I start again, it's even louder." "Jonah reminds me of Mom." "He's small and super smart." "And when he laughs, his face looks weird, but in a good way." "I eat the green MMs last." "In the beginning, it was because I didn't like them." "But now, I like them fine." "Red are the best." "Dad is everywhere." "When I turn around, he's there." "I can hold my breath for over a minute." "A body starts to decompose soon after you're dead." "It's two times faster underwater than in the air." "It's four times slower if you're buried." "If it's cold, it slows it down even more." "In the tropics, a dead body can decompose in, like, under a day." "Sometimes, I wish there were two of me." "Mom once showed me how she could change the meaning of a picture by framing it differently." "It had a profound effect on me." "Mom was one of the best photographers ever." "It even says so on Wikipedia." "I know I know French." "I remember in France with Mom," "I'd understand stuff, but I can't in school." "Listening and talking must be different parts of the brain." "Brain cells die in minutes, but skin cells taken 24 hours after death can still grow in a lab." "People say hair and nails grow after death, but they don't." "It's the skin that shrinks, so it may look like it in a way." "In a dream, I was back in kindergarten with Dad." "I told him stuff and he, like, understood." "He looked at me and said things, but didn't say stuff when I didn't want him to say anything." "There are days when I'm invisible and I can do whatever I want." "I must be careful not to lose that ability." "When Mom was in Iraq, we always had dates in the house." "I was nine and I found a bullet with some of Mom's stuff." "I swallowed it." "Maybe it's still inside me." "Dad followed me today like he did just after Mom died." "I felt I had to do something important." "So I wanted to show him I visit Mom's grave but I couldn't find it." "And I just fell down on another one. "" "Dude." "That's amazing." "It's..." "Seriously, it's really, really weird." "But, thank God." "Dad's really stalking you like that?" "What the hell is he doing?" "He can't do that." "Jesus." "And you just fell down on somebody's grave?" " Whose was it?" " Some random guy." "[chuckles]" " Valez or something." " Really?" "Valez." "It's, like, really weird, but interesting." "It's really" " It's really good." "[door shuts]" "Hi." " Hi." " Hey." "[speaks French]" "Come here." "Here, let me get your stuff." "I decided I would go directly to the airport." "Yeah?" "You had another fight with Dad?" "Why don't you two just get divorced already?" "Just get it over with." "The press has changed." "The public's attention is so fragmented." "There's too much noise now." "[man] So why do you still do it?" "[Isabelle] Because I'm good at it." "I make a very good living out of it." "Yeah." "[Jonah] I would say you're definitely good at it." "Yes." "[teeth brushing]" "She's nice." " [Jonah] Who?" " The girl at the party." "Is she your girlfriend?" "No." "No." "No." "No, I mean..." "I don't really..." "I don't really think I have time for it." "You're so good at what you do." "You should have fun, you know?" "Jonah?" "I'm glad I came." "I had fun." "Recently, I have felt really tired." "I don't know why." "It's really good being here with you." "It makes me feel like..." "Like I can still feel passionate about things." "Tu dors?" "Yeah, sorry." "It's just, like, it's such a mess up here." "My father just has not dealt with any of my mother's stuff so..." "But weren't you supposed to lecture here this week?" "It's not..." "It's not my fault if the gallery people keep, like, fucking it up, is it?" " I'm just trying to talk to you." " Sorry, I know." "No, I know." "Listen..." "I'll be back later tonight, okay?" "I've already packed." "I'll..." "I'll call you from the road, okay?" "Bye." "♪♪ [rock music playing on radio]" " Hi." " Hi." "I was driving around the neighborhood and I saw your light was on." "Yeah." "I was wondering how you were doing." "No, I got to spend a lot of time with her, which was good." "Yeah?" "Yeah." "I just..." "Not really how you want to remember someone." " Sure." "Yeah." " You know?" "And..." "I'm sorry to drop by like this." " No, no." " No, it's stupid." "I just..." "Yeah, I just like..." "I have a lot going on right now, actually." "You know, we've actually had sex in this bedroom before." " Yeah, I know." " Yeah." "You know what?" "You know, I still haven't told Amy about my mother, about how she died." " Why?" " I don't know." "I mean, when we first started dating, it was not like a wonderful topic of conversation, you know?" "But then, everything just moved so fast." "It became too late." "Sometimes I'm sure she's gonna leave me." "Really?" "Does she still have her hair?" "Her hair?" "Yeah, that was the part that, like..." " really bugged me about my mom." " Oh, her hair." "Yeah, she has her hair still, so..." " Great." " Yeah." "Thanks for asking." "Oh, my God." "What?" "I was clearing out the last of my mom's stuff the other day and I didn't realize that I..." "Wait, did we just have sex with your mother's condoms?" "We might have done that." "I think we did." " Jesus Christ." " Oh, my God." "What" " Could you check the date?" " Jonah?" " I'm sorry." "Oh, my God." "Yeah, she was this lively person." "She was not this depressed..." "I know, you talked about her all the time." "Really?" "Did she live up to it?" "Yeah." "Yeah." "But..." "No buts, I..." "You know, I didn't expect her to be so fragile." "Fragile?" "Yeah." "I don't know." "That's not the right word." " She was" " No." "No, it's just interesting." "Would you have said that if you didn't know what happened to her later?" " No, probably not." " Right." "Oh, shit." "You're lucky." "I am?" "Why am I lucky?" "[woman on PA mumbling]" "No, that's not me." "Because you've got everything you want in one place." "Except you." "Except me." "I've had this feeling lately." "I..." "I can't really explain it, but..." "I feel that every time you go away," "I half expect that you're not gonna come back." "I understand." "It's normal." "Is it?" "After this, I slow down." "I promise." "If it wasn't for you, I would have stopped a long time ago." "You know most of the other people I work with don't have anything to go back to like I have." "They..." "They're like addicts." "As soon as they go home..." " Aren't you like that?" " ...they want to leave again." "Aren't you like that?" "No, not at all." "I don't want to be the one to tell you to stop." "I stopped." "I gave up acting." "I never asked you to give it up." "I know, I know you didn't." "I know you didn't." "Do you hear what you're saying?" "You hear how selfish that is?" "No, it's our life." "It's our family's life." " Me and those two" " I thank you, I thank you." "When they call me and they told me that you were hurt, you know the first thing I thought?" "About the kids, not about you." "Because that's what I've been expecting for years." "And there it is." ""Afghan Refugees Camps Struggle in Search of Aid."" "It's great." "Anyway, thanks for taking me today." "You're welcome." "I wanted to." "I know I said I wouldn't do this anymore." "After this, I'll slow down." "I promise." "[groans]" "I can't believe they still do this shit." " They're really good." " Oh, yeah?" "Yeah, they got second place in, like, some competition." "That's amazing." " There." " Which one?" "Gray hoodie." "What happened to her arm?" "Man, she'll miss the game on Friday." "She-  [phone ringing]" " Shit." " Hey, sorry." " [Amy] Where are you?" "Are you okay?" "[Jonah] Yeah." "No, no." "I'm actually..." "I'm still here." "Did you not get my message?" "[Amy] No." "What's happening?" "Yeah, no, no." "It's just been crazy up here." "Yeah, no." "I kept thinking I would actually make it back and then I'm actually..." "I'm in the middle of a meeting with a gallery right now." "Yeah, there was kind of a mix up." "I really need to talk to you." "Yeah, I will Skype you as soon as I get back to the house though, okay?" " Yeah." " What was that?" "No, I don't..." "What?" "I don't know." "No, I don't know what that was." "But..." "I miss you and... yeah, I gotta go." " Okay, call me." " Bye." "You know, if I had a girl, I'd never lie to her." "Yeah?" "Good luck with that." "I'm gonna give it to her." " What?" " You know, the stuff you read." "To her?" "Are you serious?" "Yeah." "I want her to know me." "Okay, listen." "I thought you were kind of, like, backwards and really weird but it turns out you're not." "You're..." "I mean, you're actually pretty cool." "And that stuff you wrote, really, that stuff was..." "It was excellent." "Still... and I'm telling you this because I love you, that girl is never gonna go for you, no way." "I'm sorry." "She's just not." "It's not your fault." "I mean, it's not her fault either." "It's high school." "And, like, the hierarchy here, the status of looks and social skills and all this bullshit is stricter here than anywhere else in the world." "And that's why you should never give those notes to that girl." "I mean, look at her." "She's not gonna get it." "Look at her friends." "They're gonna laugh at you." "I mean, they'd be wrong, because you are way cooler than they will ever be." "You really are." "But... but they'll destroy you." "Just lay low for a few years." "Sit it out, okay?" "It gets better." "Do you understand me?" "Okay." "[teacher] Time's up." "This looks right." "Just fill it back in." "No." "Why did you erase it?" "It's okay." "Just fill it back in while I collect the others." "No!" "That's not fair." "[students snickering]" "Stop joking around." "Just do as I say." "Sit down!" "Sit down!" "I must admit, I'm a bit lost here." " Me too." " And, Conrad..." "You still have nothing to stay for yourself?" "You know, I don't think this will happen again." "Listen..." "I'm not gonna see her again." "I know I fucked up." "I don't always do the right thing, and I end up making these really stupid mistakes, I'm sorry." "Is it" " Is it difficult for you to talk to me?" "I mean, we don't always have to agree about everything, but I think it's really important that you and I are able to talk to each other." "You remember when... when you were a kid and we used to just" "Please... [chattering] [horns honking]" "Wow!" "It's beautiful!" "When did you do this drawing?" "Today?" "No?" "Before I came back." "Look at this." "Isn't it pretty?" "Floating in the desert." "But you are very talented, Conrad." "Very talented." "I missed you so, you know?" "Yeah." "I'm so happy to be back." "[printer whirring]" "Yeah?" "Could you give this to Melanie, please?" "Melanie, it's for you!" " [Melanie] Who is it?" " It's a friend of yours." "Hold on, I'll be there in a minute." "[knocks softly]" "Thanks." "I'd rather you went through it than those agency people." "[Richard] Do you take anything with it?" "Black." "Sameena's moved to Jackson Heights." "With the kids." "And she has gone back to school." "She wants to be an architect at 45." "Oh, well, it's all good." "Look, I don't know how to say this, but I've..." "Did you have an affair with Isabelle?" "Yeah." "Yes." "Yes, I did." "Did it go on for long?" "A while." "On and off." "But it was never here." "It was never stateside." "It wasn't like..." "I wanted to be with her, Gene." "I was ready to leave Sameena and everything." "But for her, it only made sense when we were working." "So when she stopped going that was it." "She wanted to be with you and the boys." "Yeah." "She wanted to make that work." "I never believed her." "[Gene] I was so..." "I was just so angry." "I had this feeling all the time that you know, that one day she was just..." "She was just gonna get up and leave again." "[Isabelle] One morning, you're over there doing something you feel is important..." "But it's hard as well, you know." "You can't wait to go back home." "Then finally, you're here." "You always arrive exhausted having changed planes, like, four times." "You follow your convictions, your dreams, your passions, and then all of a sudden, one day, that's your life." "And you are split, just right down the middle." "Yeah, but you don't have to, you have a choice." "Yes." "But you can't plan for what happens after you make that choice." "One morning, you find yourself somewhere in the world, doing what you believe in, what you feel is important, and it is frustrating as hell, because you cannot wait to get back home again." "And then you are home and and you're exhausted, you've..." "And it's been a day and a half..." "Getting home, changing planes four, five times, and all you want to do is get some rest, so..." "You know, to catch up." "[Isabelle] But you hear them." "Trying to be quiet, just waiting for you to come out." "They don't know how much they have changed since last time you saw them." "Thank you for the luggage." "You have to learn all the names of the new things they're interested in." "Things that will change again a month from now." "Television programs, films, you know, foods that they like now, which they didn't like before and..." "[Isabelle] After a few days, you feel better in the role." "No, it's not even a role." "You like it." "They want you there." "They love you." "You can feel it." "And you love them, too." "More than anything." "But you still feel like you're in the way." "In the way of what they usually do." "Again, you get the feeling you are in the wrong place." "It's not that they don't want you there." "But  they don't really need you." "[students chatter]" "[Gene] Hello?" "Hey." "You okay?" "[Jonah] I thought you said it wouldn't come out till the end of the month." "It's a really big piece." "He puts it into context, just like you said he would." "And he seems to know her really well." "Is that what you wanted?" "Did Conrad see this?" "I don't know." "I haven't seen him." "Hi, this is Conrad." "Please leave a message after the tone." "[Gene] Conrad, it's me." "It's kind of important." "I... need to talk to you." "Thanks." "Conrad?" "Jonah?" "[teacher] You've reached Hannah Brennan." "Please leave a message." "I think we gotta bring something, you know?" "We cannot, like, not bring something, right?" "I guess, yeah." " Are you sure you don't want anything?" " No, I'm okay." "Is there any way if I, like, pay double or something, that I could... maybe buy some beer?" "I think it's this way." "♪♪ [music blaring]" "This should be it." "Is that T.J.?" "Do we really want to do this?" "I don't know." "We're here." "I think I'm gonna go." "Are you coming?" "I'm sorry." "[chattering]" "[horn honking] [tires screeching]" "♪♪ [music blaring] [phone ringing]" "[soft chuckle]" "You..." "You, like, spat Miss Brennan in the face." "[laughing]" "I have to get home." "I don't feel so good." "I'm, like, injured." "I shouldn't be out." "You know, but I just..." "You know, I never, like..." "fall like that." "Mia has my place now." "She's... she's, like, really good, you know." "Did you read the..." "Did you look at that thing I gave you?" "You wrote that?" "That was..." "You're Conrad?" "Yeah." "Where... did you get all that stuff?" "What do you mean?" "Did you, like, find it online or something?" " No." " You came up with all that?" "You know, I've..." "Are you okay?" "Oh, my God." "[gags]" "Can you help me?" "Can you help me with the buttons?" "Tell me if anyone comes." "And no peeking!" "Just a little peeking." "[chuckles]" "You're peeking." "[peeing]" "You're nice, you know that?" "He could still, many years from now, recall the scene in all its detail." "The lock of hair she carefully placed behind her ear." "The way the washing labels stuck out from the neck of her tank top." "The street lights that went out as they passed Kevin Anderson's house." "That strangely familiar smell of damp earth he couldn't quite place." "As a stranger passed, he glanced at them as he went by, probably thinking they were a couple." "She had said that she wanted to have lunch with him Tuesday after English." "He knew that this would never happen." "That she would feel differently Monday back in school." "But at that moment, he just enjoyed that she felt like saying this to him." "That she maybe really felt like having lunch with him." "That, while they were walking there like that, having lunch together at school seemed to her like a perfectly natural thing to do." "Okay." "Goodnight." "[line ringing]" "[Gene] Where are you?" "You okay?" "So it's true?" "The paper?" "It's true?" "Yes, it is." "Why didn't you tell me?" "I saw her, you know." "I saw how she was." "I was here." "I know." "I'm sorry." "Am I really that difficult to talk to?" "No, it's me." "It's me, too." "It's difficult." "Hey..." "I'm okay." "I know you are." "I'm okay." "You're sure you don't want something, some breakfast, maybe?" "[Conrad] No, I've gotta get some sleep." "You shouldn't stay out like that, you know?" "I know." "You know, Jonah..." "He's not doing so well." "Yeah." "Yeah, I know." "I'll talk to him." "You get some sleep." " Hi." " So how you doing?" "It's time to go home to Amy." "Yeah." "Yeah, I know." "I don't think I can drive right now." "I've been drinking." "Come on, I'll take you." "[Conrad] Mom had been away like she used to, in Africa or something, and she came back for her exhibition." "But she had a baby with her." "And when I was little, I thought she should do that." "Just bring them back here." "But this was Jonah's baby." "And me and Dad were very curious because we hadn't really met her." "Not for real." "The baby was a very old man." "And it didn't feel strange." "It was just Jonah's baby." "He couldn't really talk, being a baby and all, but he was very nice and he really liked me." "I could tell." "I can remember we all felt proud, you know  that she was our mother."