"TAXI DRIVER:" "You okay, buddy?" "(EXHALES)" "Evening sir, your name?" "Sir?" "(GRUNTS) This is a private function... (PEOPLE GASP)" "(GUN COCKS)" "Are you here to kill me, Nate?" "Not tonight." "Well, in that case, come in." "There's shrimp." "(PEOPLE CHATTERING)" "I do love shrimp." "(BAND PLAYING LIVELY MUSIC)" "BLACKPOOLE:" "My wing at the museum opens this week." "A little celebration for the fundraisers." "Yeah, blood money buys the best art." "I heard a rumor that you..." "I'm here to sell you something, Ian." "I don't need anything, Nate." "(INAUDIBLE)" "You're lying." "Lying to you would not be worth my time." "Portia?" "Portia, this is Nathan Ford, he used to work for me." "This is Portia del Duccio from The Vatican Museum." "(GREETS IN ITALIAN)" "NATHAN:" "Hello!" "And where is everybody?" "All right, guys, what's going on?" "Ian Blackpoole, CEO of IYS Insurance." "Millionaire, famous art collector." "Who two years refused the claim for your son's treatment, leading to his..." "Enough!" "(CLEARS THROAT)" "Oh, drunk again?" "Are we still unclear that I'm a functioning alcoholic, you know?" "And the trick is not to get hung up on the alcoholic, but celebrate the "function" part of the sentence." "You're getting worse." "This is messing you up, man." "We can't keep watching you do this to yourself." "Is this my intervention?" "Are my bags packed and in the car ready to take me to rehab?" "You don't need rehab, Nate." "You need revenge." "BLACKPOOLE:" "Portia here is negotiating for a loan for some of the Vatican collection to my wing." "Ian has the most wonderful collection of Renaissance art I've seen outside of Roma." "Well, his collection is going to be better than Rome's if he writes me a check." "Where's your art expert?" "There is Professor Sinclair." "I understand, yeah, you can believe what you want but I..." "You want I call him over?" "No." "No, not yet." "Come on, follow me." "My restoration vault." "Oh, what's this about?" "He's found the Second David." "Oh." "Michelangelo's David." "The most famous statue in the world." "Sculpted between 1501 and 1504, commissioned by the city of Florence." "Like all sculptors," "Michelangelo made small scale models, or, well, what's commonly known as maquettes first." "I know all this." "No, no, no." "See, while you are well versed in dead guy art," "I myself am not." "My entire criminal career is based on technology built after 1981." "So, I am riveted, quite so, please do go on." "He famously made two models for the statue." "Clay fired, then bronzed, identical." "Over the last 400 years, they've been sold, lost, stolen, rediscovered dozens of times." "Who has them now?" "Well, the Second David was stolen from the Vatican 10 years ago, and, well, it's never been found." "And the First David, well..." "This way." "I'm giving you a sneak preview." "BLACKPOOLE:" "Now, the main attraction." "(BLEEPING)" "Randomized laser grid, repeats every five minutes." "SOPHIE:" "Serious security." "This is an old vault that I converted." "Four inch steel behind these plaster walls." "Infrared detection, vibration detection, and..." "The First David." "Man, am I glad I don't have to break in there." "That is one sick security system." "What?" "With our tools?" "Give me tree days of prep, it'd be like taking diamonds from the French National Bank." "That's like taking candy from a baby." "I got it." "A very easy thing to do." "Got it." "Oh!" "Look little buddy, that's your new home." "Can you please not play with the little naked man." "Please." "I'm..." "We sell Blackpoole a fake Second David." "You know he's going to insure it with IYS." "Then we let him put it on display in his museum." "And when it's discovered as a fake, his own company, IYS, accuses Blackpoole of fraud." "He loses his company, he loses his money." "His reputation's ruined." "Nobody will ever work with this guy again." "Only one problem." "He is not going to buy the fake David until he has it verified by an expert." "Mmm-hmm." "That's right." "By one of us." "And how do you guarantee that?" "SOPHIE:" "The London Examiner dated just three days ago." "It looks genuine." "Eight million." "I don't have that much liquid." "So sell something." "The Second David will be in the country tomorrow and tomorrow only." "You in or out?" "'Cause I have a Canadian oil man that wants to slap something on his mantelpiece." "Oil man?" "Yes." "We're talking a missing Michelangelo." "It's practically the Holy Grail." "Are you in or out?" "You must return this item to the Vatican Museum immediately." "Listen, lady, the sheik who owns this piece doesn't give a damn about the Pope, the... anything, so..." "Of course, you could pay the, you know, five times the going rate." "Portia, let me buy it." "There you go." "I'll buy it and then after my death" "I'll donate it to the Vatican." "I mean, let's not give that heathen a dime more than he needs." "I'm going to assume that the heathen isn't me." "We have to keep this out of the papers." "Of course." "I want our expert," "Professor Sinclair to do the verification." "No one outside of this room can know we're cutting this deal." "Agreed." "Eliot." "Eliot." "What?" "Give me a second, I'm hitting it off here." "Bring her along, it'll help sell the character." "But now, do it now." "Nate." "Why did you come to me?" "Well, I knew you'd pay the best price," "Renaissance art is your life." "Guilt was a bonus." "You hate me." "Yeah, of course I hate you." "I mean, what, what, you think I want to be here?" "I don't have a choice." "All right?" "I'm drunk, I'm broke," "I'm living out of my car, I just want the paycheck." "And at this point I don't care where it comes from." "Nate?" "Maggie." "You guys, you know each other?" "Of course." "Maggie is Nate's ex-wife." "Oh." "What is she doing here?" "Guys, guys, stay in character." "Nate Ford." "Hi, Adam Sinclair." "Maggie here is my ex-wife." "Yeah, I caught that." "That's a mighty fine grip you have there, Mr. Ford." "Uh, signora Ford..." "Collins, I use my maiden name." "Scusi, you mind if I borrow" "Professor Sinclair for a moment?" "Yes, we must talk with Mr. Blackpoole." "(THANKS IN ITALIAN) Of course." "Maggie..." "Which conversation do you want to listen to?" "That's what stereo was made for." "NATHAN:" "Why are you working for him?" "MAGGIE:" "I'm not." "I'm under contract with this museum," "I'm just helping him set up this exhibit." "Nate, I heard what you were saying before." "I had no idea things were so awful for you." "Oh, no, no, it's, it..." "In character, Nate, in character." "Things got rough." "It's very hard." "You should have called me." "I would have given you money." "She's pretty." "They met while they worked for me." "Maggie's an art expert, helps them track down fraud." "Quite a glorious pair for a while, very Nick and Nora." "ELIOT:" "Looks real." "There's a technique that Michelangelo uses when he works with clay, and..." "I mean, obviously I'd have to take a closer look at it, but, yes, sir." "I don't need money." "I..." "HARDISON:" "Nate." "Need money." "I mean, I just need this deal." "Well, then let's go get it." "Well..." "What's Nate here for?" "It's an art sale." "But private." "I'll verify the art." "Scusi, no, we agreed, uh, no outside people." "No, no, no, uh..." "No, that's all right." "I've been a little hesitant." "No offense, but, uh, I don't know you that well." "But you know me, you know my reputation." "If my presence will help you close the deal, then I'm in." "Agreed." "My one condition," "Maggie examines the sculpture or I walk." "Agreed." "(MUMBLES)" "I'll get some drinks and we'll celebrate." "I'll help you, signor Ford." "Now, Nate, is Maggie a very good art inspector?" "Yeah, she's the best." "No, no, no, we can't let your ex-wife anywhere near our little naked man." "We have to show her the real thing." "We have to steal the First David right now, so we can show it to Maggie tomorrow as the Second David." "It's too risky." "And Blackpoole knows our faces." "We're never going to get him on the hook like this again." "You honestly think that we can fool Maggie with a fake?" "No, she's too smart, too experienced." "When we worked together there was nobody better." "A simple "no" without the cheerleading would have done." "This does complicate things." "All right, well, one crisis at a time." "Parker get in here." "HARDISON:" "No, no." "Nate, we, we haven't done any prep, we don't have our tools." "You want me to break into a secure storage facility with whatever I can scrounge up at the buffet table?" "Pretty much, yeah." "Cool." "I think Sophie left some dresses in here." "I'll go, too." "I got a white shirt, I can go wait staff." "(INDISTINCT CHATTERING)" "PARKER: (OVER RADIO) I'm in." "Glass of ice, please." "I need a big roll of aluminum foil." "You know what?" "I'm going to just..." "I'm going to wrap up some of these shrimp for tomorrow, breakfast jambalaya." "You know." "All right." "I got it, now what?" "PARKER:" "I need dark eye shadow." "I assume she's talking to you." "Scusi, I must go powder my nose." "Door's got a silent alarm." "You should hide." "We should pretend to make out." "(STUTTERING) Hey, what?" "(BOTH MOANING)" "(MOANING OVER RADIO)" "Let's talk about, a little bit?" "(CLEARS THROAT)" "You bumped the door there." "It sets the alarm off." "You know what?" "We..." "Oh." "Sorry." "You know how it is." "Make-up." "Come on." "Can we talk about the pretending?" "That was nice." "Eye shadow." "Um, can we talk about what just happened?" "Weird, huh?" "You can say that." "Nate's ex-wife coming out of nowhere." "(BLEEPING)" "Yeah, no, no, that's not what I meant at all." "(DOOR UNLOCKS)" "Chew some gum." "Is my breath funky?" "Which one of you did she kiss?" "Hmm?" "(EXCLAIMS IN DISGUST)" "T-1300 Makashita." "We've got about 10 seconds, even in the blind spot, before it picks up our body heat." "Stick your gum on here." "(CHUCKLING) I got you." "Yeah." "Can't pick up our heat through the ice." "Nice." "HARDISON:" "What..." "Parker, Parker, what are you..." "No, no, no." "What are you doing?" "The system resets in like five minutes." "You know what?" "Okay, I want you to know, if you set off the lasers," "I'm running like a bat out of hell." "I pray you can keep up." "Just saying." "What are you..." "Parker..." "You're reflecting the beams back, sweet." "You did not just think about this on the way in from the van." "Some people do crosswords." "HARDISON:" "Nate, we're almost done." "I just wish we could talk without it being so hard." "Nate, did you hear me?" "I just said we're almost done." "Yeah, I hear you already." "I'm sorry." "Oh, no, no, no, I..." "I just," "I'm just trying to tell you that I still care." "No, I wasn't..." "I care what happens to you, I mean." "I've never stopped caring about you, Nate." "(CHUCKLES) Great." "Scusi, my English is..." "Great opportunities like this, they, they, they..." "They come along very rarely." "Get it over with." "Ready." "Come on, come on." "(ALARMS BLARING)" "(ALARM WAILING) Hey, vibration alarm just went off in the restoration room." "Wait, look, car alarms all went off in the parking lot." "Little earthquakes." "Just another tremor." "Jeez." "What, you don't..." "Don't throw the David." "You caught it, didn't you?" "You're crazy." "I should go." "Nate, just know that I'm here for you." "Do you need a place to stay, or..." "I'm okay." "My office has a couch." "(SIGHS)" "Come on." "Adam." "Uh, yeah?" "Let me give you my number." "Great." "I'm sorry your wife gave me her phone number." "I don't want to talk about it." "It was only to coordinate where we're going to..." "Not talking about it." "We just stole an eight million dollar statue on, like, our day off." "Yeah, and we're giving it back." "Technically we're selling it back." "Doesn't it seem like that might be a better way?" "I mean, let's just think about it, huh?" "What if both of Blackpoole's statues were fake, right?" "It would be even worse for him." "The David he's had on display for years, insured and verified by IYS." "Wait, every sale he's made in the last 10 years would have to be audited." "He wouldn't just lose his company, his own board of directors would sue him." "This guy would totally be ruined." "I'd like to have a word with you right now." "(WHISTLES)" "That ain't good." "I know that voice, that's the voice you use on a mark." "I can think of a dozen other times an opportunity like this lands in our laps, we take it!" "You don't con us, you don't con your own team." "You're just getting cold feet because your ex-wife could blow it for us!" "No, Maggie, Maggie wouldn't..." "Maggie who works for the man who let your son die?" "She doesn't have a problem with that." "She doesn't know!" "She doesn't know that IYS and Blackpoole denied Sam's treatment." "How can she not know?" "She doesn't know because I never told her." "She pities me, didn't you see that?" "You're lying to her, Nate." "You're not who she thinks you are." "She thinks I'm a drunk." "Maybe even a criminal." "You're still an honest man, Nate, it's the rest of the world that's gone crooked." "Do you want to walk away?" "How many other kids died, just like Sam, 'cause this bastard put his profits above their treatment?" "How many?" "It's not just me or Sam." "I mean, that is what I keep telling myself." "(SNIFFLES)" "Always your fatal flaw, you think too much." "There's that voice again." "Hardison, three minutes before they arrive." "(OVER RADIO) Got you, boss." "No, whoa." "Whoa!" "Where in the hell do you think you going?" "I'm sorry?" "You are the pilot for this plane, right?" "Yeah, uh, right." "Why don't you get back on that bird?" "We got work to do." "Uh, work, what, what are you talking about?" "Spot inspection, FAA." "Now look, I want to see this plane's TCAS," "VRSM and 8.1 FM Spacing, and Operation to make sure it's fully functional and in compliance with the new FAA regulations." "New regulations?" "Pilot's unaware of latest regulations." "Oh, new regulations, of course." "Please, come this way, I'll take you right up." "Oh, no, no, it's cool, it's cool, I don't need to go up." "Just taxi me around the building." "Taxi?" "I thought, I thought you needed to get up in the air?" "Uncomfortable with black authority figures." "Sir, please don't write that." "You know, I will write a letter to your mama if I feel like it." "This way, please, it's in order, I promise." "Uh, this way, it's okay." "FAA, he's a hard ass." "Screw the bag, let's go." "Maggie." "Hello." "We're up." "Hey." "Hello." "Adam." "Mr. Blackpoole, how are you?" "An interesting place to meet." "Nathan Ford?" "Yeah?" "I've got a call here from flight 7-Tango 82, inbound from Dubai." "They'd like to know if your party's here." "Yes, we're all here." "Where are they?" "They're just pulling in now." "Okay." "(GREETING IN ARABIC)" "I'm only cleared for refueling." "We must resolve this before your customs men realize I've gotten off the plane." "Why are you selling this?" "I have certain debts my father does not approve of." "There are very sharp card players in London." "It's from my father's collection, it will not be missed." "And if it is, uh my security will find some guilty party to blame." "They are very efficient that way." "Ian?" "I say yes." "I mean, there will be other tests required, but..." "Maggie?" "It's a dead ringer for the First David you own." "Cast off the same mold." "It's real." "(LAUGHING)" "Where'd the girl go?" "Maggie, what you did back there..." "Was so much fun." "Working together again, it was just like old times when I'd help you get your stolen art back." "It felt..." "Familiar." "Call me." "No." "Portia." "Good news, huh?" "When the Vatican learned about your generous offer to donate the David after your death, they agreed to lend everything you requested for your exhibition." "You won't regret this, Portia." "With the two Davids as the centerpiece for my exhibit, this is going to be the finest collection ever shown to the public." "I can honestly say I cannot wait." "(SOPHIE GIGGLES)" "(GRUNTS)" "Feel better?" "Actually, yeah." "(CHUCKLES)" "Was that absolutely necessary?" "He wouldn't have believed a hand shake." "And it felt good." "Hardison, where are you?" "Halfway home already, Nate." "(MUSIC PLAYING ON CAR RADIO)" "NATHAN:" "You got it?" "I've got the money right here." "(CAMERA CLICKING)" "I'm going to count to three." "(GRUNTING)" "Nate, we're blown." "(RADIO CRACKLING) NATHAN:" "Eliot, what's... (GRUNTING)" "(BONE CRACKS)" "(GRUNTS)" "Now that rib's broken." "He said you'd be tougher than this." "Let's go." "MAN:" "Take him." "Huh?" "That's enough of that." "What, you getting tired, boy?" "Better keep that left up." "You know, I don't think we've ever been properly introduced." "Hello, Parker." "Jim Sterling." "(BOTH PANTING)" "Why won't you go down?" "(CHUCKLES)" "(GRUNTING)" "(BONE CRACKS)" "Now that rib's broken." "Nate, we're blown, we're blown." "Nate." "Eliot, what's going on?" "Talk to me, Eliot." "STERLING:" "Hello, Nate." "I love this technology." "What do you want, Sterling?" "Well, first, let's see how many birds we have in hand." "You know this is Parker's." "Now Alec Hardison?" "Accounted for, Mr. Sterling." "And we have the cash, too." "Marvelous." "Mr. Spencer?" "Hey, Sterling," "I got some dental work with your name on it." "What do you say, me and you hook up so I can give it to you?" "Seems that Mr. Quinn was not quite as effective as promised." "Still, two birds in the hand are worth three in the bush." "NATHAN:" "Eliot, stay low." "Sterling, what do you want?" "I'll tell you what, why don't you meet me in the place where we used to go for a drink after work?" "I'll come alone, I promise." "(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)" "Do you remember when we were friends?" "After work, we used to come up here and have a drink, watch the sunset?" "We were never friends, Sterling." "So the answer to my question would be no, then?" "What do you want?" "Trade." "No." "Come on, it's no big deal." "I just want the Second David." "Well, you got it." "It's on the truck." "Parker couldn't make the switch." "Not the First David, the Second David." "Ten years ago, I was the investigator when it went missing from the Vatican." "I want it." "Well, I don't have it." "Of course you do." "Just ask yourself one question." "Who came up with the plan to break in Blackpoole?" "I knew you'd come after Blackpoole eventually." "You had to." "And when you did," "I knew that the way in would have to be the First David." "She wouldn't be able to resist." "It's how she thinks." "It's how you think." "And I know how you think." "Come on, Jenny, make it official." "It's the name she was using back then." "It might be her real name for all I know." "I have no idea." "I stole the Second David 10 years ago." "I still have it." "See, there you go, it wasn't so hard, was it?" "I want the Second David here, this spot, no tricks, end of day." "I'll bring it." "No." "I don't know why, but I don't trust the two of you together." "So you will go meet my men at your offices where I know you'll be safe and sound." "And Sophie will bring me the Second David, which I will exchange for Parker." "After all, she stole it, how else is she going to learn?" "How much is in here?" "As much as I need." "(BLEEPING)" "When you found me in Chicago I told you" "I'd become an honest citizen." "I was just an honest citizen." "With a very good retirement plan." "(NATHAN SIGHS)" "So, why the hell didn't you say something that night?" "What, when you were standing next to your ex-wife?" "You were in no condition." "Yeah, so this whole scam to burn Ian was basically to get your hands on the First David." "Isn't that right, Jenny?" "Don't you dare pretend this has been a selfless crusade on your part." "It wasn't a coincidence that you set up our offices in the same city as Blackpoole." "You knew one day you'd go after him, and you'd use us." "Yes, well, I was right, wasn't I?" "That is the voice you use for a mark." "I meant it, Nate." "Going after Blackpoole," "I wanted to hurt him for the way he'd hurt you." "But I'm a thief." "And stealing both Davids..." "No one's ever done that." "Not in 400 years." "And there it was in front of me and..." "And stealing the First David helped you, and..." "It was..." "I don't know, it was like it was meant to be." "We're both addicts." "We're all addicts, Nate." "We're all addicted to our pasts." "Don't tell me you weren't tempted, when you were talking to Maggie, you wanted to feel how it used to feel." "You still think of us as just criminals." "There's always going to be a part of you that thinks you're better than us." "(SIGHS)" "Where do we go from here?" "We do this." "But Sterling knows us." "He knows how we think." "So we think like somebody else." "You said you wanted to see it, Sterling." "(LAUGHING)" "Parker comes to the middle of the roof, we circle her." "You get to the David when I get to the door." "Parker comes to me, and we're gone." "I'm not doing anything until I know that Nate Ford has turned himself in." "We've got him." "Boys." "Yeah, he's here." "STERLING:" "Put him on." "Okay." "Tell your guys to cut Hardison loose, and let Sophie and Parker go." "Of course." "Yeah?" "Keep them both." "Okay." "All right, I'm a man of my word." "Let's do this." "You go first." "You know he's got guys at the bottom of the stairs, right?" "Of course." "Careful, careful." "I can replace you." "All right, all right, easy." "Perfect." "(DOOR OPENS)" "(BREATHING HEAVILY)" "Four guys?" "Six guys?" "See, he's good, but he's not that good." "So how are you going to get us out of this?" "I had no idea how to get us off this roof." "And then I asked myself..." "What would Parker do?" "Another couple of broken ribs and a concussion," "I don't think Eliot can take out six guys." "But then I thought, what would Hardison do?" "What's going on?" "(FEEDBACK SCREECHING)" "(MEN GROANING)" "(GRUNTING)" "(BOTH YELLING)" "Geary, what the hell's going on?" "Sterling, I thought you were an honorable man." "I'm catching thieves." "There's nothing more honorable." "Nate, we're done here." "Hardison." "Wait, Eliot, Eliot, come on." "You got to be kidding me, man." "Bring it." "Come on." "It's just weird." "I painted it." "(EXCLAIMS IN PAIN)" "All right, this isn't a total loss." "Four of the best thieves in the world just left me a paper trail a mile long." "Get a team up here, pull every file." "Shouldn't we call the police?" "You're fired." "Dust the whole place for fingerprints, okay?" "I want a forensic computer special..." "Hey, Sterling." "Get out of my house." "Run." "Run!" "Move, move." "Come on!" "Move it, come on." "STERLING:" "Go!" "Go!" "(PANTING)" "Maybe he was bluffing." "My..." "That's the funny thing about con men." "They don't bluff." "Well, what do we do now?" "We don't do anything." "I go and deliver unto my boss who is a very, very rich man, the object of his fondest desire." "Shortly thereafter," "I move into a startlingly large office." "Hey wait, but what about Ford?" "What about him?" "Huh?" "His cover's blown, the faces of his people have been sent to every law enforcement agency in the state." "We've taken their money, their base of operations, and now Nate Ford will never, ever get his revenge." "They will do the only smart thing to do." "They'll scatter." "They're professionals." "They know when the game's up."