"Here's my store, Beane's of Boston, built in 1888." "Clothes for men of means in Boston, Ladies fashion's up to date." "That was early days in Boston, now the competition's tough." "Could be curtains Beane's of Boston if my store don't sell enough." "Come in!" "Oh, it's you, Franklin." " Good morning, uncle." " I'm on the phone." "Romanos?" "I want to book a table for two for lunch." "I'm expecting my girlfriend." "If she gets there first, give her a drink." "You'll recognize her." "She has blue eyes, long blond hair, and she's about sixty." "Yeah, yeah, yeah, yes." "Something Italian." " You said it was urgent." " Oh, so I did." "As a matter of fact I'm very worried." "I just got this." "If that's your cardiograph, uncle Fred, you really shouldn't be here." "It's your sales chart, and my board of directors says YOU shouldn't be here." "How is it, furniture is up, china and glassware, bathroom fixtures are all up, only your ladies and gentlemen's department is down?" "Well you really shouldn't pay too much attention to charts, uncle." "Look this is where you took over in February." "And since then steadily downward ever since." "March, April, May, June, July." "Are you alright?" "October is probably under the rug." "Franklin, you simply got to pay attention do details." "Franklin, you can't let externals..." "My goodness, who are you?" "I'm Ingrid, your new secretary mister Beane." "Where is the last one?" "Well she quit." "She complained you made the naughty remarks, sexy propositions, and had the wondering hands." "Good heavens, uncle, is that true?" "Not all in the same day." "And you behave yourself, or I won't stay either." "If I behave myself, what's the difference?" "Oh, Franklin, are you still here?" "Yes uncle, and I was saving it for a surprise, but I want to tell you:" "I've got a marvellous idea on how to increase our sales." "You're going to quit?" "No, uncle, no this time it's a real inspiration." "Not another one like motorizing the revolving doors to get the customers in quicker?" "Nothing like that." "Grabbed that one man and threw him clear into the hardware department." "Yes uncle, I know..." "Never could pull his head out of that bucket." "Terrible thing, sir." "Had to cut eyeholes in it so he could get home." "Well this is nothing like that, sir, but I don't want to tell you anymore about it right now," "I just want one more chance uncle, so that I could prove to you that I could be of worth and..." "Uncle?" "Sir?" " Alright, Franklin, go to it." "But remember our company's motto:" "If at first you don't succeed, you're out on your butt." "Yes sir." " That reminds me, I..." " I'll send her in sir." "Oh, I'm sorry madam, the store isn't open yet." "Oh I'm not a customer, I'm the new salesgirl," "Shirley Brahms." "Are you a salesman?" "Not really, I'm in charge of the floor." "Oh, well, it looks lovely." "Not the actual floor miss Brahms." "I run this entire department." "Oh, mister Franklin Beane hired me, he told me he ran the department." "Well, in a way he does, he runs it into the ground." "But the word from upstairs is that he won't be with us much longer." "Oh, that's too bad." "Well, he certainly was nice to me." "There were so many girls here for the interview and he picked me." "I really don't understand why." "Maybe you stood out from the others." "Oh, thank you." "I'm prepared to give it all I've got." "That should be more than sufficient." "Good morning mister Peacock." "Your coat should be off now." "And your tie is crooked." "Miss Brahms, may I say it's a pleasure to have you in our department." "Oh, I've just been waiting for an opportunity like this." "So has mister Beane." "That will do mister Peacock." "Ah, miss Slocombe, your new assistant is here." "This is mrs." "Slocombe, she's in charge of women's wear and one of our most respected employees." "Thank you mister Peacock." "She has been the backbone of the corset department for years." "Thank you mister Peacock." "In fact she's been here so long, she practically came with the building." "Stuff it mister Peacock." "I didn't hear that." "Stuff it mister Peacock." "That I heared." "Something wrong with your eyes mrs." "Slocombe?" "Oh no, mister Beane, I just bought some new eyelashes at the boutique, and I'm not supposed to blink until the blue dries." "Yes, well, why don't you go hang up your coat miss Brahms, while mrs." "Slocombe is drying out." "And hurry back, as soon as the rest of the staff gets here" "I have an important announcement to make." "Oh mister Peacock, are you free?" "At the moment, yes." "That new girl, she's dressed better than I am." "No, I don't think so, it just looks better." "I just hope they don't know we're late." "You're late, mister Humphries." "I'm sorry, but I had to stop by and pick up mister Humphries." "Yes, I've never ridden on a motorcycle before." "It's wild, isn't it." "I just held on tight and screamed my head off." "He couldn't unlock his hands until we were in the elevator." "Oh, and never forget, miss Brahms, if you want to go up in the world, you must eat, sleep, and think nothing but Beanes." "Now where is mister Granger?" "Oh, someone calling me?" "Yes, mister Granger, where have you been?" "Well I came in early to take inventory." "I was counting these sheepskin gloves." "I got up to forty, then I must have fallen asleep." "Oh well." "Staff, gather round, everybody's here now, good." "Now I'd like to introduce something that's gonna get you all very excited." " Pleased to meet you, I'm Lucas." " Shirley Brahms." "That is not what I had in mind, mister Lucas." "Now as you all may have noticed, sales have been a little off lately." "Well, I know that my socks are moving slowly." "And very little has been happening in my trousers." "Well lord knows my underwear has been down for weeks."