"* I heard you got a sweet tooth */i" "*You got a sweet tooth */i" "In Riley's defense, it didn't seem like a big deal to me, but maybe I'm desensitized." "*Watch me shake my sugar... */i" "Ugh, nigga!" "That's gay!" "Cut that out!" "Thank you." "Is this the new face of hate?" "That video, which has already been viewed 4 billion times online, shows Riley Freeman's cruel verbal assault on a classmate, apparently for no reason whatsoever." "Condemnation from gay-rights groups was swift." "Walter Sweetlove, national director of Yes-Homo, vowed he would be investigating the matter." "But almost immediately, people started using the "b" word." "We should call this Riley Freeman what he is... a bully." "So, to all of the bullies of the world, all of the Rileys, we say "no."" "No!" "And in honor of that beautiful young boy who was sharing his love of dance with his classmates in that video... * ..." "Shake my sugar shaker */i" "* Watch me... */i" "Meanwhile, a day after the controversy broke, the 8-year-old at the eye of the storm remained unrepentant." "I ain't no bully, and all y'all out there saying that is gay!" "All y'all got outtie buttholes!" "That prompted an immediate response from "No Probe,"" "the national organization providing research for outtie buttholes." "Stereotypes... the language of hate." "In Woodcrest, tensions were high, their chants were clear..." "Bully, bully, stay back!" "Gay is the new black!" "Their signs crystal clear." "Uncle Ruckus ain't got no dog in this fight." "I hate niggas, and I hate faggot." "And I especially hate when they both combine together, like that damn rupaul..." "Two things I hate in one." "Seriously, only kind of white man I can't respect is a gay white man." "Them and the average white band, 'cause they make nigger music." "Face of hate!" "Face of hate!" "As the gay occupation of our front yard moved into its second day, granddad started to panic." "Oh, no!" "I can't believe it!" "How can something like this happen to us?" "Stuff like this happens to us all the time, granddad." "We're done for." "Why gays?" "Why couldn't it have been Mexicans or Indians from India?" "Everyone makes fun of them." "Now, granddad, before you go crazy, let me explain." "Yes, please explain yourself, grandson." "The video was deceivingly edited." "This is all just some crazy misunderstanding, right?" "But it really was gay." "Oh, no!" "That's your explanation?" "Do you know what you've done to us?" "We're doomed." "We'll be blacklisted in Hollywood." "Now I'll never host the Oscars!" "But it was gay!" "Why should I have to apologize?" "I saw gay, so I said "gay."" "That ain't bullying." "That's an astute observation." "Did the laws of the universe change and nobody told me?" "Nigga's got to apologize for being right?" "I'm gonna get my belt and change the laws of the universe on your narrow behind." "I know that." "If I'm not allowed to call gay stuff "gay,"" "then what am I supposed to call it?" "What's the okay word for "gay"?" "You call it nothing!" "From now on, you see something gay," "I don't care how gay it is... it could be gayer than a San Francisco butt-plug convention... you look the other way." "If it's gay, look the other way." "Got it?" "Aw, damn it." "That better not be one of them damn protesters wanting to use my bathroom." "It was gay, is all I'm saying." "Oh, hell no!" "What are you doing here?" "Nobody called you." "God called me, brother Robert, and told me to come stand shoulder to shoulder with you in your hour of need." "Hey, li'l niggas." "Rollo goodlove?" "!" "That's it." "Now we really are doomed." "You know he's only gonna make it worse, right?" "Worse?" "!" "How am I make it worse?" "You done pissed off the fags." "They don't never forgive!" "Maybe because you keep calling them fags." "But that's what they are!" "Why can't I call a fag a fag, huh?" "See?" "He gets it." "Do you know you can't even say fag on TV anymore?" "You can say "nigga" all day, but you can't say fag." "Say fag and they'll bleep it." "Say "nigga"... no problem." "Watch." "Nigga, nigga, nigga!" "[Bleep] [Bleep] [Bleep]" "Nigga [Bleep] Nigga [Bleep]" "Nigga, nigga, [Bleep], [Bleep]" "Thank God for uncensored DVDs." "See, they know niggas ain't down with that homo business." "No, sir." "That's why they're gonna come hard after you... to make an example." "What's the worst they can do?" "What them homos gonna do is extort you... shake you down for a "donation."" " Extortion?" " Oh, yeah... extortion!" "Wait." "You used to extort people all the time." "Damn shame, isn't it?" "They stole my whole playbook and kicked me right out the game!" "I used to extort these crackers all the time." "Niggas, too." "I didn't care." "Then the homos came along and took everything over." "But it was okay when you were doing it?" "I extorted for the people, Huey!" "Black folks have earned a full-time extortionist on their side." "Homos ain't earned that yet." "They ain't suffered like we have." "So, we can't pay the "donation." Then what?" "They gonna find some way to get that pound of flesh." "I'm telling you, your best chance is to stick with me." "I know this whole game inside and out." "Them homos can't get nothin' over on me!" "And what's in it for you?" "Nigga, I just need attention." "They canceled my sitcom." "I'm moonlighting for peta, for crying out loud!" "I ain't had shit to do since Trayvon Martin." "Thank God they still shoot niggas, or I wouldn't even be able to pay my car note." "Why are you wearing so much pink?" "Taking it back from the homos." "Yeah?" "Robert Freeman?" "Walter Sweetlove." "I'm the founder and president of Yes-Homo." "I believe you've met some of our supporters." "I think it's time I stop by for a little chat." "Mmm." "Well, uh, welcome, Mr. Sweetlove." "As you see, I broke out my good China." "I know your people appreciate girly things." "You know, Waiter here was my former apprentice." "Really?" "You don't say." "It's true." "I got my start as an intern in the summer of 1998 at Rollo Goodlove's "Jambalaya of Justice League."" "I never should have let you into my race-baiting seminars all those years ago." "I didn't know you were still in the biz." "Aren't you a sitcom actor now?" "A B.E.T. Award-nominated sitcom actor, thank you." "Well, Rollo, I'm not here to start any trouble." "Unlike you, I don't hate." "I mediate." "See?" "Rhyming... that's my thing!" "As I said on the phone," "Yes-Homo is an organization of LGBT unity, and..." ""L-G-B-T"?" "What is that exactly?" "It means "lettuce, gay, bacon, and tomato," granddad." "It means "lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender"..." "The people you so callously..." "What's "bisexual"?" "That's when they go both ways." "Oh, man!" "That's gross!" "You mean like they kiss a girl, then kiss a dude, then kiss a girl, then kiss a dude?" "Mm-hmm." "The people you so callously offended with your hateful words." "Using the term "gay" when you mean something is stupid or dumb, that's offensive." "I didn't say "gay" to mean "stupid" or "dumb."" "I said "gay" to mean "gay."" "My granddad always told me to tell the truth." "That's a damn lie." "I never told him to tell the truth." "I always taught my kids... the proper way to respect people of homoerotic descent is to lie and pretend they don't exist." "Mr. Freeman, now that you've had time to think about the seriousness of what your grandson has done," "I'm sure you'd agree that the best way to make amends with the LGBT community is a donation to support the fine work we do at Yes-Homo." "What'd I tell you, huh?" "You're wasting your time!" "These people got no money and no reputation to ruin!" " Sorry." " You know what?" "You're right." "Donations are so... impersonal." "I think it means so much more when we... give of ourselves." "So..." "What do you want?" "I want Riley." " Oh, lord Jesus!" " Oh, gosh!" "Hey!" "I'm not giving you my grandson's Booty hole in place of a donation." "Ugh!" "No!" "What is wrong with you people?" "!" "I mean that I've talked with my P.R. Committee, and we want to use young Riley in our youth campaign." "Why me?" "I ain't even gay." "No, but you're hip." "You're urban." "You'll make gay tolerance cool, help Yes-Homo reach a younger male demographic." "What if I say no, homo?" "Oh, I'm sorry." "Did you think that was a request?" "I've destroyed lives way bigger than yours." "Just relax and do exactly what I tell you." "It may hurt a little at first, but it'll be over before you know it." "Sweetlove had three demands." "The first was that Riley undergo sensitivity counseling." "I'm just gonna go ahead for the record and say a "no, homo" over this whole conversation." "O... kay." "Well, that's a great place to start, but here, we don't say "no, homo."" "We say "yes-homo"!" "Let's try it." "Whatever, nigga." ""No homo" over this whole conversation." "Right." "Right." "The second demand was that Riley appear in a Yes-Homo PSA advocating tolerance." "Okay, people, we are going in five." ""Gay PSA," take 1." "So, the next time you say "gay" to refer to something that's gay, don't, because..." ""Gay PSA" take 2." "And... action!" "So, the next time you say "gay" to..." "Cut!" "Take 5." "So, the next time you say "gay" to refer to something gay, don't." "It's not cool..." "Cut!" "I'm sorry." "Take eighty fucking six." "So, the next time you use "gay" to refer to something gay, don't." "It's not cool." "It's offensive to fags." "Cu-u-t!" "The third and most important demand was, of course, the public apology." "Breaking news in the Riley Freeman bullying story." "It seems like the Freemans are about to give their official apology." "For days now, we've been wondering if there would be an apology." "It appears now it's going to happen in just a few minutes." "We're going live right now to Woodcrest." "Gay basher!" "Gay basher!" "Gay basher!" "Gay basher!" "Gay basher!" "Gay basher!" "Boo!" "Thank you." "My name is Rollo Goodlove." "I'm a dedicated crusader for justice, as well as a B.E.T.Award-nominated actor and producer." "We are assembled here today for an important announcement regarding Riley Freeman and his so-called bullying incident." "But first, I'd like to talk briefly about my mixtape." "You read what's on the page, and that's it." "Got it?" "Huey, what about you?" "Don't you believe in my right to tell the truth?" "Just read what's on the damn page." "And a cameo by coko from SWV." "So, without further ado, here is Riley Freeman!" "Gay is gay." "Thank you." " What?" "!" "No!" " Huh?" "!" " Hatemonger!" " Boo!" "Please!" "Everyone, settle down!" "Look, on behalf of Riley and the whole Freeman clan, we apologize for ever saying anything is gay." "Riley's not a normal child." "I don't think he's a bad kid." "He's just kind of touched, you know... in the head." "He's... special." "Uh, special how?" "Like "special needs" special?" "Hmm." "I-I guess." "He got a bunch of special needs." "He needs an ass-whupping twice a day, he needs to not drink anything past 8:00 P.M. or he'll wet the bed, he needs to stop walking right next to you before he passes gas." "Hmm." "Let me think." "Yes!" "Riley is a special-needs child." "He has a number of behavioral and developmental issues." "He does?" "He does!" "Oh, no!" "That's lame!" "We don't accept that!" "We don't accept..." "Did he just call me retarded?" "Listen, we ask that you respect the privacy of the Freeman family, and I am morally compelled to say shame on Walter Sweetlove for the pain he has inflicted on this brave, sweet little boy in a tragic unspecified mental affliction, thank you." "No!" "No!" "You're crazy!" "Who knew?" "Oh, the poor kid." "Oh!" "Well, no wonder!" "Uh-oh." "And that's why I would like to extend a sincere, heartfelt apology to Riley Freeman, his grandfather..." "And the other one." "I forget his name." "Is this the new new face of hate?" "Walter Sweetlove, under fire at this hour for inciting hatred between homosexuals and the cognitively impaired..." "It's not?" "!" "Well, what is the goddamn correct term, then?" "Their chants are garbled and unintelligible..." "Their signs difficult to read." "But their anger was clear." "This is a good day for me, 'cause I love it." "Nothing makes me happier than to see the coons and the benders tear each other down." "But one thing Uncle Ruckus will not tolerate... and you may write this down... is disrespect to the mentally afflicted." "And sometimes with niggas, it can be difficult to spot mental disabilities, 'cause let's face it... suffering from brain damage is something niggas do very well." "That's why all the best mentally challenged men have always been black..." "Michael Clarke Duncan in "Green Mile,"" "Cuba Gooding Jr. in "Radio,"" "and that big black nigga from "The Blind Side."" "Sandra Bullock was good in that movie... don't get me wrong..." "But that big, dumb football nigga?" "Ohh." "Ohh." "He was a natural." "Didn't I say "trust me"?" "Now we got them gay boys right where we want 'em!" "Why y'all tell everyone I'm retarded?" "!" "Because you are." "All you had to do was read what was on the page!" "Now we go on the offensive..." "Lawsuit, damages!" "That gay gold is right there!" "I can smell it!" "I don't know." "Maybe we should just quit while we're ahead." "Now's no time for retreat!" "We won." "We got 'em on the ropes." "Robert, they humiliated your retarded grandson." "Hey!" "I ain't retarded!" "Point is, we ain't doctors." "How do we know for sure?" "I know for sure..." "I ain't retarded!" "You're retarded!" "You expecting somebody?" "My name is Filbert Slowlove." "I am the president and the national director of the Specially Abled Alliance Against Defamation." "The what?" "S-a-a-a-d?" "Saaad." "Huh." "Never heard of you." "We the one that got the fags off your ass." "We got business." "Thank you very much, Mr. Slowlove, for helping us with our little, uh..." "homo problem." "Can I offer you anything?" "Strawberry milk." "I'm afraid we don't have that." "What'd you say the name of your group was, again?" "The Specially Abled Alliance Against Defamation." ""Specially abled"?" "Aw, here we go again." "Is that what niggas is calling the short-bus kids now..." ""Specially abled"?" "Nigga, ninjas are specially abled." "Luke Skywalker is specially abled." "You niggas is just retar..." "Ow!" "That motherfucker ain't specially abled!" "Technically, no." "But he is a dumb-ass." "Y'all think this is a game?" "!" "You think you can just use our cause and not cut us in?" "No, that wasn't the plan at all." "If I don't give you some money," "I'm gonna call them fags back and tell 'em you lying!" "Huh?" "Wait, wait, wait, wait!" "I mean, if you don't give me some money." "You mean extortion?" "Yeah, but we gonna make it like a donation." "But it's not really a donation, because I'm taking it." "Yes, we understand that's how extortion works!" "Unfortunately, someone tried this already, and we have no money." "Someone tried this already?" "Was it the fags?" "Y'all ain't got no money?" "Well, what y'all got?" "I ain't leaving here empty-handed." "We have Riley." "He's urban, he's hip." "He's an excellent way for your organization to reach a young male demographic." "Hey!" "I have to talk to our P.R. Committee." "Y'all got any strawberry milk yet?" "No." "Damn!" "Y'all ain't never got no strawberry milk." "Thanks for helping the retarded bully, granddad!" "I can't believe this." "Even the short-bus niggas is shaking us down." "Hey, don't forget how this started." ""Nigga, you gay."" "You and your damn catchphrases." "Well, until this gets worked out, nigga, you retarded." "I talked to the P.R. Committee." "This is what I want." "It's a poster to promote the special Olympics." "This is just the drawing." "I want a photograph." "Did you just draw that while you was outside?" "Wow!" "That is a special ability." "Thanks." "You're gonna come to the regionals in two weeks." "We'll take the photo there and use it for the poster for our national campaign." "Sounds good to me." "It don't sound good to me." "You literally gonna make me a poster child for retarded kids." "Don't say the "r" word." "That's a very, very bad word!" "Okay." "Toodles!" "Pleasure being extorted by you." "Congratulations, brothers!" "Crisis averted!" "I don't want to be retarded!" "It's retarded or gay, damn it." "You take your pick." "__" "Hey, fellas!" "Riley!" "How's my favorite little specially abled nigga?" "Oh, man!" "It's great being retarded." "I can't believe I never thought of this." "I thought people had low expectations of me before." "Homework?" "I can't do homework." "I'm retarded." ""Riley, why weren't you in class?"" ""Because I got lost." "I'm retarded."" "There might a real future in this for me." "See, silly?" "I told you everything was gonna work out." "Well, look who it is!" "What are you doing here?" "Who do you think paid for all this?" "That retard thing was a real dick move, Goodlove." "I'll take your word on how dicks move, Sweetlove." "I told you this old dog's got a couple new tricks." "Chalk up another win for the negroes!" "Y'all here?" "Good." "I'm all yours, big homey." "Let's get this shot." "Follow me." " Rriley!" " Riley Freeman!" "Yeah, Riley!" "You want to be my friend, Riley?" "Riley Freeman!" "Ungh!" "The man with the camera, he's at the finish line." "Y'all just go up to the starting line, and when I say "run," run!" " Yay, Riley!" " Here comes Riley!" " What's up, Riley?" " Riley!" " Riley!" " Yeah, Riley!" "Look at me!" "No." "Sorry." "Can't do it." "What?" "!" "No way, man." "Get me outta here." "I ain't trying to be around these retards!" "Damn." "Ooh." "Aaah!" "That's a bad word!" "You're not supposed to say that word!" "Uh..." "* Stomp him in the nuts * *Stomp him in the nuts *" "* Stomp him in the nuts *" " Oh, man!" " Boy!" "Hold on!" " We're coming!" " Help!" "Riley!" "Ah, let's just call it a draw." " Ow!" "Ow!" " Riley, run!"