"[Music playing]" "I used to work in a video store in Baltimore..." "And then I happened to come across the Troma" "Web page, which I've been a big fan of for many, many years." "I drove seven hours to get here from Connecticut." "I got here, they started me working." "I'll go back to selling shoes when the movie's over." "Kevin, you're from a faraway land." "Yes." "Where'd you come from?" "England." "I'm from Sweden." "Really?" "Yeah." "And how does this differ from movies in Germany?" "Actually that's my first time working on a movie, though." "I can't really tell." "[Yelling]" "So we have this church?" "Yeah." "The downstairs, with a stage and an auditorium." "Lots of little rooms to do costumes and effects." "What's the best thing about this location?" "The space." "It's huge." "It's really great." "Arbie!" "You're the best darn humper in school!" "Choke it, choke it." "What the hell's going on in here?" "Oh!" "I'm going home!" "Wendy, wait-come back!" "Did that go well?" "Yeah." "Kinky girl." "Robin Watkins." "Joshua Olatunde." "Jason Yachanin." "Kate Graham." "Allyson Sereboff." "Rose Ghavami." "I was possessed by a chicken monster today." "Maybe three or four of them." "It looks so sweat shop when everyone's sewing at once." "I know." "Thumbs up." "Ow!" "[Inaudible] didn't work." "Gabe, our producer." "What, are you running some kind of school here?" "Well, I want them down to five minutes" "For each chicken zombie." "If we want 80 or 200 chicken zombies," "We've got to have speed." "Speed and quality." "Speed over quality maybe." "So this is a sweatshop zombie school." "What time is it now?" "It's late, it's maybe 1:00 in the morning." "What's the date?" "The date, I have no idea." "I don't know what day of the week it is." "I can't believe I left Arbie for someone as horrible as you." "Oh, Arbie." "I was such a fool to leave you." "I'm trying to fucking act!" "Cut it off!" "I just want to get this fucking shit over with." "[Chicken squawk]" "[Music playing]" "I think day will go OK." "Just a lot of dialog, right?" "Small effects." "A little dialog." "The acting's good." "The camera crew is here." "The set looks good." "The walkie talkies seem to work." "Hopefully all the props are here today." "How do you feel about it?" "I think it's going to be good." "A little worried." "Lloyd's not here yet." "He said we can feel free to start without him" "If we're ready." "Yeah, yeah, that's all right." "Yeah?" "Yeah, that's fine." "Yeah, he likes that." "It's a lot of metal stuff." "Metal on metal, should not make any sounds at all." "Hey, Lloyd Kaufman." "Yay, morning everyone." "How are you?" "[Inaudible] Where's your..." "That's all right, keep going." "Going to be the best shot of the movie." "Now we're just about ready to get the first shot of the day" "Up." "You the manager?" "I wouldn't have cut it." "I would've kept going." "Sound two." "Action." "You're hired." "I won't take no for an answer." "It's yours." "So you want to play hardball, huh mister?" "Two can play at this game." "Cut." "You had camera noise." "Do you want to do it again?" "No!" "Don't raise those issues." "What's wrong with you?" "You want to move the thing, quietly tell me." "You don't yell it out." "You tell me very quietly, OK?" "Now I know." "I didn't know." "It's Tromaville." "We don't even care if it's in focus." "Roll sound." "Speed." "Sound five." "Sound five and action!" "So what happened?" "It stopped by itself." "Oh." "There are not that make technicians who can handle" "Working on a Troma movie." "You know, these guys are sleeping on air mattresses." "They're living the Troma style." "They're certainly not getting anything close" "To what they get on commercials or documentaries." "Everybody, sound is ready." "OK." "Standing by." "Action!" "Action, chicken, action!" "More jiggling." "Bigger, bigger!" "The instant we try it, explodes everywhere." "Oh fuck." "How did that happen?" "This is downright dumb." "This is very dumb." "Is there anyone doing anything other than this woman" "Holding her finger in it?" "Yes." "Lets do the dialog facing this way while they're..." "No, no." "We'll do this dialog." "Stop it up, get fucking out of here" "And we'll do Arbie's dialog." "Welcome to Tromaville." "You've got a guy testing who's working this," "He's never done it before." "Richard's been doing this..." "No, he hasn't been doing it." "He did the last rehearsal." "Good, Larry." "Get Larry's boom." "Caleb, this... this is..." "The posters are sweating off the walls." "Well, that's why they should've been put up three weeks ago." "I'm just trying to stay out of the way." "You know what I mean?" "You can handle that business?" "Just tape the shit over it!" "Who has tape?" "So how can we go up on top there without tape?" "Where's Humus's prayer rug?" "We have that." "Well, it should be here!" "Why didn't you notice there's no fucking... why did" "You not notice it's not there?" "He's starting to lose it." "We've been here since 6:45 in the morning, and it's 6:45 PM." "So, a 12 hour shoot so far, and we're still not done." "Slate in." "Speed." "Sound 33." "Action." "If this is the way it goes on a scene like this," "I mean, I can only imagine, on like a fight scene." "With, like, blood and guts... it's" "Going to take like 24 hours." "It's starting to rain." "It's starting to rain, Lloyd?" "Yes." "So we could have filmed in the graveyard." "For some reason we didn't film in the graveyard." "This would've been perfect to film in the graveyard." "Thunder, lightning, electricity, naked people." "Would've been the perfect way to open the movie." "[Thunder]" "Magic hour." "So, yeah, it's really early and we're all wet right now." "We're all stinky, because we just woke up." "And... it's a nice surprise." "I'm sorry, so please, do it again." "From the top." "The idea of this is to have both these wacky gags" "As well as sexy stuff." "Great, this is what we do, Gabe?" "Yup." "Could start here, then..." "This is the hottest scene that has ever" "Been recorded in film history." "OK, now Micki, you can't stop yourself." "Good Wendy, good Micki." "Go more like a doggie." "There, that's it." "Can you see it, Brendan?" "Is it funny?" "Yes." "Ready, action." "Perfect." "Thank you very much." "Thank you." "Now cut it, cut it, cut it." "That's great." "It was very, very good." "But your body should be, you know, like that." "And there wasn't enough of the... oh, come on." "[Music playing]" "Of course these are not professional dancers." "By the looks of it, they don't work out a lot." "You should be having an orgasm." "Want to take a picture of me, going like this?" "The key is to build it up to a beautiful orgasm." "So that at the end..." "like the end of music videos..." "At the end it's quiet and you go down" "And Micki's having a huge throbs of orgasm." "OK?" "The last..." "OK, we got it." "All right, very cool, so..." "What's going on in here?" "We got... one of our lead actresses" "Looks like she wants to kill herself between takes." "And we're a little worried about her." "Has Lloyd talked to her yet?" "Lloyd doesn't notice." "All Lloyd sees is 10 pair of tits around him right now." "But it came out." "I think it's going to be great." "It's something I've never seen before." "The whole scene." "And just your shot is just, you know." " Pornographic?" " No!" "Oh, come on." "Orgasm, Allyson, have a good orgasm right now." "It's good, trust me." "It shall be good." "[Singing]" "And, heavy breathing." "[Applause]" "Very cool." "Now, when do the eat clam behind come in?" "Well, it's the third day of filming." "This is the night shoot." "It was supposed to be the first night," "But it was canceled due to thunderstorms." "Now we're finally here at the fabulous" "Ancient Indian cemetery." "It's very noisy around here." "People stop, people honk." "Causing a big ruckus in this small town." "But hopefully we'll pull through." "And... move a little bit... and action!" "Make your move to go on top of her... action." "All right, cut." "Instead of saying cut, we like to have the lights shut off." "Conserve energy, right?" "It's very good." "Good." "There we go again." "Wow, they really like to save money." "Well, it's midnight." "We're never going to make it to the end of the night." "We have a lot to do." "I think it's time to start ripping pages up," "Because this is like an eight hour movie." "Every scene is taking twice as long as it should." "[Inaudible]" "What keeps happening to the light," "Are you getting kick outs?" "I think it's the crap equipment." "The famous Troma high-tech equipment." "What's going on behind the future site sign over there?" "I just noticed this like halfway through." "Like about 45 minutes ago I was like, oh look," "It's John Karyus getting into position." "When I just looked over there, and after all this shit" "That's been going on, to be the exact same position." "I could put this on fucking time lapse." "We'll see the sun go up." "There you go." "Now you come around." "Does that make sense, without kicking the cable?" "That's it." "Say Arbie." "Hey Arbie." "Yeah!" "Arbie." "Yeah." "Kaopectate motherfucker." "[Laughter]" "Very good." "The night is about three quarters finished" "And we've done about 10% of the work." "Get in there." "Hurry up." "Blood." "Push the blood out." "Get it out of there, hurry up, hurry up." "Shove it in." "Shove it out." "Please." "Full-on day right now." "Now the shit comes out." "Where's the shit..." "The Baby Ruth?" "I just dropped them." "Oh, all right, all right, then cut." "This is it." "This is the scene." "This is it." "We don't have... we can't keep adding days to the schedule." "See, this is when you don't test stuff," "The zombies are setting themselves on fire." "Sing, John." "[Music playing]" "[Singing]" "Oh, fuck." "The first guy's on fire." "Cut, cut, cut." "Did you get all that?" "Oh my God." "Are you OK?" "What is that?" "Are you all right?" "Holy shit." "I think it went very well." "I kept my cool, as I always do." "I'm really pissed." "I can't tell you how pissed I am." "You're going to hear it tomorrow." "I know I will." "It went very, very well." "It's a tribute to the team." "You have a wonderful, wonderful team here." "Good morning Tromaville." "How's everything looking?" "Everything going all right?" "It's going to be great again." "Another perfect day." "See what I have here?" "I have a list of..." "Because we want" "The actor persons to feel nice... so I" "Have a list of their names." "So I can address them by name." "What's your name?" "Stacy." "Oh, Stacy." "What's your name?" "Torie." "Torie, I'm sorry." "How we doing this morning?" "Fan-fucking-tastic." "The whole reason why we need you here during rehearsals" "Is so I don't have to waste time explaining, do you understand?" "All I need to know is what your first shot is." "Yeah, but if you were here at rehearsals" "You wouldn't have to ask me." "If you have the camera up during rehearsals?" "Yes." "Yes." "I've had this camera up for an hour." "It's just a car." "We can get the sound later." "We work together on doing a shot." "If you're not around to help us and work with us," "I can't help you now." "Fine, lets just do this and get it over with." "Everyone knows except you." "Fuck this, man." "All I want to know is what your opening" "Angle is you fucking moron." "This whole shoot's been crappy audio." "Has it really been that bad?" "It's going to echo like crazy." "It's going to sound like shit." "No, no." "Dude, go away." "Is anybody going to listen to me?" "It's not your fault." "It's just the surroundings and whatnot." "Standing by!" "Uh, cut." "It's a bigger problem." "The problem with daytime shootings." "You have clouds, things like that." "It changes the exposure in the camera." "It doesn't really matter, but the directors of photography," "They think it matters." "It doesn't." "Nobody's going to notice that this shot is" "Slightly differently exposed." "Are we legally blocking off Bailey here?" "Well, I'm pretty sure that guy over there, Sal," "Isn't an actual police officer." "But we do have an orange bucket." "I think that is the seal of legitimacy." "That's all right, one second." "Action!" "What do we want?" "For the evil, devil-worshiping [inaudible]" "Conglomerates to cease the destruction" "Of our beloved country." "And replacing corporate [inaudible]" "With more cookie-cutter retail spots!" "How do you think that went, Debbie?" "It's just a first shot, but..." "It's so hilarious." "It's so good." "These guys are great." "It was amazing, there wasn't a single mistake." "It's the best prepared Troma movie, for sure." "Kept singing and dancing, it's so elaborate." "Yeah, we've been able to rehearse this stuff" "For a number of weeks." "Yeah!" "Woo!" "[Applause]" "Perfect, great." "What's in the bag, John?" "Ice." "Thank you." "I'm most concerned about my camera work." "I'm concerned that I got so wrapped up in just" "Keep the thing going that I wasn't focusing" "Enough on the camera work." "Roll camera, and slow jiggling." "A little more toward camera." "Face me better." "And now faster." "OK, back up, slow down." "My breasts on camera, close up, are something that is not" "All that un-commonplace, particularly on home" "Videos of me and my friends." "So, might as well make it public, right?" "Fair enough." "Hey!" "What's the big blood effect that we're doing today?" "We're going to completely drown the kitchen" "Area in blood from the meat grinder when Packard falls in." "Think it'll work?" "Absolutely." "Nothing's gone wrong so far." "I couldn't imagine this being any different." "[Music playing]" "We're fucked." "So put it back in and we'll shoot it wide." "The whole scene too." "Yes!" "So is this your first stunt, ever?" "Yeah, it is." "And action!" "One, two, three." "Balls!" "There are all the regular concerns when" "You jump into a meat grinder." "Along with that, we don't have running water." "And our first aid kit consists of like two band aids." "Oh good, so that's on my list too." "Fall!" "Shake the legs!" "Shake your legs!" "Slow!" "Go in, go in slow." "Go in slow." "Cut!" "Absolutely fucked up." "No blood." "Guy goes in, in one second he disappears." "It's exactly total bullshit." "We're fucked." "I think it's over." "I really do, unless you can get your act" "Together with these people." "[Music playing]" "OK, cut!" "Very nice, so now we've got to get the dialog." "You spraying him with Lysol?" "At his request." "The biggest problem is that you haven't" "Gotten to this stupid dance, and now Caleb's" "Thing with the chickens." "We're going to be another day behind." "So that's very complicated." "You ought to have him test now." "Is Devlin here?" "Yeah, he's here." "Are they doing it?" "Seriously, you should have..." "No." "Yeah." "They should do blood... do it out in the parking lot, whatever." "Film it at lunch time." "Right?" "No, film it now and we'll look at it at lunch time." "Right?" "Is anybody listening?" "I can't see." "They said you can take smoke breaks every two hours." "They say a lot of things." "Yeah, yeah!" "I even read that in the manual." "You know?" "You look young." "You know?" "You know?" "You look young." "I'm the young one." "I know that!" "I'm trying to fucking act!" "Cut it off!" "No, I'm not nervous, I just want to get the day moving." "The thing I'm concerned about on my dancing" "Is the acting part of it." "Forget the dance, dance is performance with your face." "You know, alone." "And all that stuff." "I should be doing it." "I keep forgetting to do that." "Happy face, sad face, gay face." "That has as much to do with it as the movement." "I'm too wrapped up getting the... this stuff." "I'm too wrapped up in the moves and I forget about the moved." "(SINGING) A bachelor of fine arts is the [inaudible]" "Of [inaudible], but for me, it's just" "Debt for another four years." "No, I'm soaring on the wings fried gold and brown," "On these flightless birds I run this town." "[Laughter]" "Does he not know that his balls are hanging out?" "They just told him." "And he still hasn't..." "I've never seen anyone like that before in my life." "[Applause]" "Don't eat pizza, peanut butter and jelly," "And jalapeno dip right before you come to a morning shoot." "You want to see proof?" "In there." "This is going to be a puke orgy." "We crowded 50 people into the restaurant, filled" "Up 50 cups of vomit, and I don't think we know what we're doing." "Where's Gabe?" "In all the eight directions." "Some ideas." "Nobody's to be seen." "All right, well we're screwed now, so do the best you can." "I guess we'll just do this one piece." "Marlene, maybe you'll start it off." "You vomit this way." "Everybody ready?" "Roll and action!" "Cut." "What do you think of the vomit?" "It's hilarious." "It's like a porn movie." "Do you find it disgusting?" "It's gross." "I love it." "It's frigging nasty." "I hope it doesn't come anywhere near me." "I think our failure so far has been" "We haven't been able to duplicate" "The "Tromeo and Juliet" funny spewing," "Where it just kept coming." "And that's rather a pity." "But we soldier on." "Just like the shuttle, those tiles keep falling off." "[Screaming]" "Gabe, you putting him jerking off in the bathroom?" "He's just reading a dirty magazine, yeah." "But everyone's lined up outside for the toilet" "Because they're all throwing up." "That's the humor." "That's the joke." "I don't get... no, no, I don't want to do this." "Hey, come on, man." "That's the script." "The script is different than your..." "No, but I'm looking at the scene" "And it's not working for me." "What does this have to do with lighting?" "Just out of curiosity." "It has to do with continuity!" "The guy is just reading a dirty magazine." "We're not going to do a prolonged scene," "And try and do a story where a guy's on the toilet jerking off" "Right now." "Do you want to do that?" "No, but I wouldn't mind seeing the magazine." "What's the problem with the way it's scripted?" "This is the wrong magazine, too." "This was not the one I approved." "No, that's the right one." "Nope, nope, the one I approved, you could read this." "I said to outline." "I said to outline." "I said green is composed of blue." "Green has blue in it." "You're screaming at that point." "You were, like, in pain." "This should have either black outline around it" "Or it shouldn't be that color." "It should be yellow." "Like that." "We're supposed to be doing a big effect" "Scene where the general wrestles a demon chicken." "We spent the past 45 minutes arguing about a fake magazine." "I don't understand, do we want to make this fucking schedule?" "We're arguing about a magazine." "Lets just do it." "I don't just do things on script." "I've got to film something that works." "If it doesn't work, I'm going to change it." "Because it had to be done." "Read the script first!" "I don't just shoot scripts." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "Let's just..." " I should see." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "Let's decide what we're doing." "CAMERAMAN:" "Why are you guys sitting out here right now?" "Because there's nothing happening in there." "We're waiting for people to stop discussing why" "A person would be masturbating on a toilet" "While people are outside in the main dining area vomiting" "All over the place." "GENERAL:" "Boy, you've been relieved of duty." "Ahhh!" "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "Cut." "Perfect." "Perfect." "(SINGING) I'm in heaven." "CAMERAMAN:" "So what shot are you guys about to do?" "What's that?" "CAMERAMAN:" "What shot are you guys about to do?" "The chicken fight." "CAMERAMAN:" "And how does it work basically?" "It's a pretty basic system, right?" "Yeah, this operates the head and the neck." "And then these three pulleys here operate the wings," "The eyes, and the mouth." "CAMERAMAN:" "So you're basically controlling it" "And making it look at though..." "Yeah, well, we have to switch puppets." "This is the stunt puppet." "Say hello, stunt puppet." "Hello." "And we kind of... we have a puppet that actually moves." "And we use that for the closeups." "And then this is the fight puppet." "DIRECTOR:" "Bite." "Two can play at this game, mister." "Aghhh!" "DIRECTOR:" "Let it get on your face." "Argggh!" "Argggh!" "DIRECTOR:" "Spit." "MAN:" "Shake it." "Shake it." "You're fed up with it." "DIRECTOR:" "Throw it on the ground." "Ahhh!" "Ahhh!" "Arrrrgghhhh!" "DIRECTOR:" "Wipe your face." "[Coughing] [laughing]" "It was fun." "Lots of damn fun." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "Kevin, how did it go?" "It went really well." "I was actually really happy." "The timing went well." "It started oozing out soapy bubbles at first" "And then blasted through this ridiculously" "Dark, green, icky liquid." "It couldn't have gone better." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "And what did you use to make the liquid, Tom?" "Well, the liquid is food dye, soap and lots of water" "And lots of soap." "I mean, we have bubbly... a bubbly mess." "Today is... today is a very effects-heavy" "Day with the scene." "We have Joe Fleischaker, who is a great guy." "But, you know, he's got some physical limitations." "But that's all right just as long" "As we follow sort of what Tom wants, I think we could do it." "I have a feeling it's going to go very smoothly today." "CAMERAMAN:" "Joe, are you excited for your role today?" "Oh, absolutely." "I'm looking forward to it." "1, 2, 3." "We have to indulge the fans, you know?" "That's the real reason why I do it." "[Music playing]" "Wow!" "Jared." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "Smile." "Mmm, big smile." "Open your eyes and smile... open." "All right, cut." "Now give me that low fat sausage-flavor chicken" "Meal with the General's low-carb mashed potatoes." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "Do it again." "Now you give me that low-fat, sausage flavored..." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "Do it again." "Low fat mashed..." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "Do it again." "Take a breath and do it now." "Don't get skimpy on the low..." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "All right, cut it." "Someone better go through the lines with Joe." "This should have been done last night." "MAN:" "Do we need to get the stool for him?" "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "No." "No, I don't need the stool." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "No, let's run to the next thing." "JOE FLEISCHAKER:" "Let's do it one more time." "Man, you are an inspiration." "And you kept the weight off." "How did you do it?" "It's all about moderation, my boy." "Now you get my that low-fat sausage-flavored chicken meal" "With the General's low-carb mashed potatoes." "Don't you even think of skimping on the General's all-soy gravy." "JASON:" "You got it." "Do it once more." "Your pants have to be down." "Well, that's going to be..." "I don't know how are" "We supposed to..." "I was told..." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "He can't shit with his pants on." "Action and a shit." "[Wailing]" "Eat, and shit, eat." "[Wailing]" "Shake your head no." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "We just need one shot from above, I think." "DIRECTOR:" "You don't have to scream." "All you have to do is lie there." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "Yeah." "DIRECTOR:" "You can sleep." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "No, you can't sleep." "But you can be..." "I have to be in pain." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "Breathing." "Breathing and being..." "DIRECTOR:" "You're not having a heart attack, are you Joe?" "I don't think so." "DIRECTOR:" "OK, good, so you're just pink." "Yeah, just pink." "DIRECTOR:" "All right, if you're really having a heart attack," "I'll take it serious." "Otherwise, fuck you." "OK." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "Here we go." "No, seriously, if you're in trouble." "I'm not in trouble." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "OK, very good." "Ready?" "I'm telling you that I can't make it up." "Better put me back down." "Right here." "Ready." "Go ahead." "Go ahead." "1, 23." "Go ahead, Joe." "Yeah." "I'm good." "All right." "MAN:" "Get Joe's chair ready." "[Applause]" "He crapped up the scene." "Joe was awful." "He was horrible." "He didn't even have his lines." "I'm never using him again." "Apparently, Yoshi is walking off set." "What happened?" "I don't know." "Who is walking off set?" "GABE FRIEDMAN:" "Yoshi." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "Why?" "I don't know why..." "Says I'm sarcastic." "I don't know why." "Seems to not the way I talk to him." "This is my problem." "I'll deal with it." "GABE FRIEDMAN:" "All right, so we don't have the shit..." "BRENDAN FLYNT:" "No, you don't have to do anything." "GABE FRIEDMAN:" "OK, great thanks." "Hey, come on, Yoshi." "Come on." "Yoshi." "That's not working, man." "Yoshi, no!" "Yoshi." "Come on." "Come on, buddy." "Come on." "Stop it!" "No, I'm serious." "You get that crap out of your right now, buddy." "I'm serious." "Or I'll break the camera." "You don't do that shit." "You leave our men alone." "Brendan was fucking running his mouth." "And finally Yoshi just snapped." "BRENDAN FLYNT:" "That's only twice in about 70 movies I've done." "So it's not... it's not so bad." "CAMERAMAN:" "He was definitely antagonizing him?" "Oh, yeah." "CAMERAMAN:" "Brendan was definitely" "Was antagonizing him?" "Yeah, Yoshi was saying, getting away from me." "Don't talk to me." "Brendan was running his mouth." "Yeah, congrats, Brendan." "Good job." "Yoshi is a great fucking guy, you know?" "And I'm looking forward to working" "With him again... definitely not with Brendan Flynt." "Like, if you see a documentary about what when I quit," "Then you'll know why." "CREW:" "Roll camera." "DIRECTOR:" "Action on." "And shit." "Shit!" "Ah, Shit!" "Cut." "Cut." "Cut." "Cut, rename the shit." "Rolling and action, Ron." "Shit!" "Shit!" "Look at that shit." "Lower your legs." "Lower your legs, Ron." "Low." "Low." "Shit." "OK." "Cut it." "Cut it." "Now, oh, fuck." "It looked like a fountain, right?" "Yeah." "CAMERAMAN:" "Are we behind schedule already?" "Yes." "CAMERAMAN:" "All right." "DIRECTOR:" "Action on it." "[Splat]" "No." "Cut." "Cut it." "Has somebody got baby wipes?" "Baby wipes!" "MAN:" "I've got baby wipes." "Hit the shower." "Here is a puppet heat Joe Fleischaker" "That has grips built into it so we can grab a hold of it" "And shrink him down." "Action... cut." "Deflate... go." "Cut." "You guys have to test all the day is a total waste." "And it's 7 o'clock." "And you've got Arbie and Penny and the other people here." "And their day is wasted for no reason..." "Just because people are too fucking lazy to test stuff." "I took you word for it." "That this worked." "This is ridiculous." "And it's taking us, you know, it's" "Throwing us off another day." "I don't know how we're going to shoot the singing now." "Joe Fleischaker's supposedly turning inside out." "There's no way you can tell what's going on." "You know, if they think that Brendan was tough with Yoshi," "They ain't seen nothing yet." "I'll push every button there is because, you know," "It's not worth it." "The movie is young people and special effects." "That's all there is." "Yeah, Gabe says we got music." "That's going to solve the special effects problem." "We shouldn't worry because it's got music." "People go... people are going to buy" "Tickets because of the music." "Yeah, right." "Our fans are going to... the music" "Is something to be discovered." "We should rewrite." "That's what we should be doing is rewriting." "Or get that thing on... get on film so we see what it is." "I beg you to get this thing on film... on tape rather." "I beg..." "I beg weeks, and weeks, and weeks." "Andy should talk to Tom and in no uncertain terms, right?" "Andy you should talk to Tom and get it straight..." "Get that fucking test on test... on screen, now." "BRENDAN FLYNT:" "Great, let me rehearse the exit, please." "There's got to be a fucking transformation from the General" "To that thing." "There's got to be something for people to look at." "It cannot be shot after shot of spraying brown water..." "Or spraying red water." "So far we've got two scenes... one" "Where red water sprays and one where brown water sprays." "You guys have to film it." "You guys have to get Andy as a producer and maybe Kiel" "To speak with Tom." "That General thing is Tom's responsibility." "I've said my peace." "I've said it." "I've been saying it for weeks." "You have to film it, test it, or you get shit." "You get schlock." "You can talk all you want." "You can meet all you want." "Kaleb can be his cocktail party nice guy." "But you've got to get it on tape!" "You've got to get it on tape." "I've said it for weeks." "Brendan said it nicely." "There's no other way to do it." "And I don't want to be slightly diplomatic." "I wouldn't blame if you walked out." "I wouldn't blame you one bit if you walked out." "I would." "But there's no other way." "I don't care." "I'd rather you did than have this again." "You film it and see it." "And it better be good." "I know I'm right." "I know I'm right." "I know I'm right." "I know I'm right." "I know I'm fucking right." "Action!" "We did rehearse this Carl Jr thing a lot." "So maybe this will go better than yesterday." "CAMERAMAN:" "How ready are you guys today?" "It's smells like beyond ass." "And they left it out." "And like I found spiders all over it." "So I don't know if there is a spider" "Nest living inside of it." "You have to stick your hand in here." "And it's a puppet." "But I don't want to stick my hand in there." "It's very nice." "Doesn't look like a chicken." "But I guess you know it's a chicken because you" "Saw it just a little while ago." "I mean, it looks like a whale." "It's got the eyes on the top." "It's got that mouth that a whale has." "It's got that big filter for plankton that's getting" "And going after plankton." "Well, can we give them a line, maybe?" "People... people react to that stuff." "MAN:" "Larry, what happened?" "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "Yeah, maybe..." "Yeah, what happened to you?" "MAN:" "Larry, what happened to you?" "Well, what are you doing to me?" "Maybe..." "Larry, what are you doing to me?" "Maybe that's the thing..." "This cue for the bite." "Ahh!" "Or has he already bitten you?" "[Screaming]" "I don't know if you remember Lloyd freaking" "Out about Tom Devlin's effects." "Let them know that he's going to get canned." "Send him back to LA." "And we'll have to come up with our own." "That's the end of the movie." "So we went back to see his test of the egg hatching" "Of the general monster." "And it was unfortunately less than impressive." "Right now it's just a guy and then like some pulsating shit." "Then all of a sudden, there's an egg" "There or something like that." "So we have to redo all that." "It's got to be much more brutal than what we saw." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "No kidding." "DIRECTOR:" "Don't jerk." "Don't jerk." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "Don't do that." "Just drink." "DIRECTOR:" "Let it pour out by itself." "That's it." "[Music playing]" "Now do a thing is if your eyes were about to explode" "Into the camera." "[Music playing]" "DIRECTOR:" "Cut!" "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "OK, yeah, Rose." "[Coughing]" "Seriously, like, I'm going to pass out." "Thank you." "Cut." "Good, OK." "Thank you, Rose." "CAMERAMAN:" "You think morale is real low on set?" "Right now, yeah." "We need something fucking great to boost it up... at least" "Boost up the morales of our keys because it sucks right now." "Anybody know what we're doing?" "MAN:" "Ron Jeremy Ron Jeremy." "I have no idea." "Oh, Ron Jeremy comes tomorrow." "MAN:" "The crazy guy." "Ron Jeremy comes tomorrow and very cool." "He's the crazy guy." "So the crew will be very happy." "The crew is..." "look how happy they are." "I want to meet Ron Jeremy." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "He's cool." "I got to go buy some porn now, though," "So he can sign it for me." "CAMERAMAN:" "Have they told you about your role yet so far?" "The only role they told me about" "Was a roll and butter, which they have over there waiting" "For me over at the coffee." "Yeah, I play kind of a crazy man, which" "Is great... the guy you see in those movies warning you like" "Go back... go back." "You know?" "Let's say you got a couple of horny and stupid friends" "That want to go on a road trip into the unmapped backwoods" "Of America." "Take a look." "Two spare tires... one fully charged cellphone with" "Great range... with great range." "And a couple of guns." "Behold, I shall a bury a sword upon you." "I shall devastate your higher places. [Burp]" "Oh, shit." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "Cut." "[Applause]" "[Screaming]" "Don't lean forward too much when you're screaming." "Yeah." "OK, that was great." "CAMERAMAN:" "Can we have a quick shot?" "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "Uh, Caleb's pants came down." "Who is the pants wrangler?" "KIEL:" "I am." "Kiel, please." "I told you to stand and to pull up his pants." "It's only in the pants..." "Kiel, now look, I want you to listen carefully." "I told you... you standby to pull up Caleb's pants." "Now pull them up." "Pull those pants up." "Pull my fucking pants up now!" "Jesus." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "Sorry, Caleb, I apologize." " All right." " Come on." "I touched it." "I touched it." "Now, all right." "DIRECTOR:" "It's got to go over his eyes... too much slime." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "No, we need a lot of it." "All right, let's turn the cameras on." "It's going to go in his eye." "DIRECTOR:" "It's going to go right in his eyeball." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "It didn't last time." "CREW:" "Well, he dumped a shitload on there." "Ready?" "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "OK, we're going." "Action!" "Cameras!" "CAMERAMAN:" "Yeah, rolling." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "Chin up." "Chin up." "What are you doing?" "Oh, oh, then we got to cut." "We got to cut." "We got to cut." "No, it's OK." "It's OK." "I can't... it's no good like that." "GABE FRIEDMAN:" "It's all slime." "You can't see anything." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "It's got to be..." "CREW:" "It's what we were telling you." "It's like a boat." "Paper towels, please." "They can't see any of the makeup now." "CREW:" "All right, never mind." "CAMERAMAN:" "How's it going today so far?" "It's fine." "CAMERAMAN:" "It's all right?" "Yeah, a lot of waiting around because I" "Have just this one little bit in the scene." "So it's, uh, interesting... it's very... once you get slimed," "There's not much you can do... just sit here and wait." "So it's Saturday." "And we're doing the zombie mask scene," "Section A, which is when everyone's" "Faces get ripped off and stuff." "I think we got here at 9 o'clock in the morning." "It's now 1 o'clock in the afternoon." "Gabe is really around..." "Pissed of as hell" "Because the effects weren't ready." "We've got a million zombies running around." "Half the people here have turned up" "Who aren't even supposed to be here today" "And asked if they could be in a scene that's already been" "Blocked out like six weeks ago." "So they've been made up as well." "So god knows what the fuck they are going to do in the scene." "Oh, yeah." "Yeah, it's in there just knock them out." "Better than before." "CAMERAMAN:" "I don't mean to alarm you." "But you might have something on your face." "It's not yet." "It's a work in progress." "A little bit." "Like, I have to sort look at an angle." "For some reason there's nothing stuck to this side of my arm." "I don't know why." "They got someone to put water in the Elmer's glue." "Unfortunately that person..." "They don't remember" "Who... couldn't tell the difference" "Between water and cream soda." "So every single person you see with feathers on them" "Is covered head to toe in cream soda." "Who is the fucking asshole?" "NICK:" "No one knows." "What are you doing?" "My right arm." "Do it again." "My good arm." "Do it again, goddammit!" "Do it fucking again." "Can you see blood?" "Is he bloody?" "CREW:" "Very bloody." "DIRECTOR:" "Roll it." "Roll it." "I just did my first real effect in a feature" "Film..." "Troma's "Poultrygeist."" "And I didn't get yelled at the entire three hours we shot." "Every single person gets yelled at." "I don't know how the hell I did it." "CAMERAMAN:" "How's it going today so far?" "Well, the effects are looking great." "But the problem... maybe it's not a problem." "But it's taking a long, long time for the people sort" "Of waiting in their makeup." "But they knew they were going to be waiting." "And we just go out there, keep them occupied," "And they are hanging in there." "I can handle it all afternoon..." "Um, want a cigarette?" "CAMERAMAN:" "So how do you think today is going?" "Oh, well, I've been here 12 hours." "They haven't use me..." "Or 10 hours or whatever." "They haven't used me." "So I pretty much..." "CAMERAMAN:" "And how many times has this happened" "So far on this production?" "I can't remember." "CAMERAMAN:" "Too many to count?" "Yeah." "I think a lot of things that goes" "On with Troma outside of actual shooting is unprofessional." "I made $100 for all the work I do." "CAMERAMAN:" "For your role in this film?" "For my whole work." "CAMERAMAN:" "Wait, wait, wait." "Your role in this film..." "Yep." "CAMERAMAN: every hour?" " Uh-huh." "CAMERAMAN:" "Living here." "Moving here for the summer to New York... you got paid $100?" "$100." "CAMERAMAN:" "You got paid $100?" "You want to know what Kit gets paid?" "Kit gets paid almost double what Jason makes." "And Jason makes $900." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "We need touchup." "CAMERAMAN:" "Total?" "Total." "CAMERAMAN:" "Is it like per something or just total?" "Total... $100 for the whole film." "CAMERAMAN:" "So do you not feel appreciated on this film?" "I feel..." "CAMERAMAN:" "Or feel underappreciated?" "I feel... financially, yeah." "[Music playing]" "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "Let me see people in the rear making out." "DIRECTOR:" "Go back to making out." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "People in the rear." "DIRECTOR:" "Melanie, rub... rub yourself." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "Now I can't see anything." "DIRECTOR:" "Back to the original position." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "All right." "Position." "DIRECTOR:" "All right." " Oh!" "OK, excuse me." "DIRECTOR:" "Cut." "Cut." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "No more spraying." "Let's just do making out." "DIRECTOR:" "All right." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "Ready?" "There's no continuity in this film." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "We can't see your faces." "That's it." "There you go." "Perfect, now squirm with the lube hit... a little tiny bit." "OK, good." "Now, and cut." "OK, very cool." "Very cool." "Thank you." "Thank you." "Here... in the ass." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "Now quiet!" "Get a wide shot." "You may want to add a few PAs." "Ready?" "And action." "[Screaming]" "I'm not going to be in this for six hours." "This is ridiculous, especially when I can't see." "CAMERAMAN:" "I got to go." "Lloyd's flipping out." "All right, I'll be back." "Move it." "Move it." "Move it." "When can we look at something?" "I see her coming in and coming out." "What are you leading her around for?" "Where's Tessa?" "You shoot it." "Shoot it." "Do you mind shooting it, please?" "CAMERAMAN:" "Where'd she go?" "Sorry you had to stay in costume for seven hours or so." "Come in." "Do you mind be interviewed?" "What happened?" "Oh, you don't want it filmed?" "All right, then don't film it." "[Crying]" "I just want to get this fucking shit over with." "Come down." "Tessa will be right here still." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "Yeah, all right." "Where is she?" "Have her sit there." "Put her there." "And then we're in good shape." "I know it's fattening." "But I love this flesh." "I love the squash, what?" "WOMAN:" "You said I love this part?" "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "No, I love the skin." "WOMAN:" "I love the skin?" "Dammit." "Action!" "Put your hands out..." "Your right hand out." "All right, cut, cut, cut." "God dammit!" "Action at that table, Jessica." "Action, Jessica!" "I can't see anything." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "Go over to your right." "Now, stay up!" "Fuck!" "I know it's fattening." "But I love the skin. [Evil laugh]" "The biggest problem with this stuff" "Is you have amateur actors." "And when you have them, not only do they screw up the movie," "But they screw up the shots." "MAN:" "Got it Lloyd?" "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "Yeah, it was perfect." "[Music playing]" "[Screaming]" "[Applause]" "DIRECTOR:" "Ready?" "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "Action." "CREW:" "Slice." "Blood." "Slice." "Slice." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "Action!" "DIRECTOR:" "Blood." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "Get going over the [inaudible]." "CREW:" "Yeah, there's blood now." "DIRECTOR:" "All right, in the sink... up... in the first dunk." "Up." "Second dunk." "[Gasp]" "[Screaming]" "Third dunk." "Leave him in." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "Dunk him again." "Sorry, dunk him again." "DIRECTOR:" "One more time." "Ahh!" "[Bang]" "DIRECTOR:" "Oh!" "CAMERAMAN:" "Are you all right?" "Of course he's not." "That's a nasty little cut." "I saw we skip this... go to the next... don't do it." "CAMERAMAN:" "Let me see it." "What happened exactly?" "Um, I'm not entirely sure." "But I was doing this stunt." "And I think I slipped." "Now, that's dedication." "What producers do you know that sacrifice" "Their own face for the movie?" "Andy, she knows exactly where it is." "Oh, great." "I'm actually getting you to Sister's or ECMC." "The Sister's Hospital." "OK, you can be in place... you're" "Getting killed instead of Andy." "You're getting your face deep fried." "I mean, yeah, your face deep fried." "MARIA GISMONDI:" "So it's a rough night in Tromaville, Buffalo." "Um, we have a quadrillion people." "I think, actually, the numbers close to 200 extras" "Who have been here since 3:00 PM, who are in various stages" "Of zombie makeup and dress." "We also have a cast and crew who are basically," "At this point, at their wits end, considering the fact" "That all of us were here until about 2 o'clock" "In the morning last night." "And now, once again, we're preparing" "For about the same tonight." "We've got producers whose heads are like exploding as we speak." "We have a... a director who... who appears to be rapidly losing," "Um, sanity." "Don't tell me what I'm doing and what am not doing." "I know what I'm doing." "And I know what I'm not doing." "Uh, Basically all of this." "And we've only got about..." "About a very brief period" "Of time left before we have to get all of these shots wrapped." "And it's nearing midnight now as we speak." "CAMERAMAN:" "So Allyson, how do you feel about, uh, tonight?" "How do you think it's going to go?" "Awesome." "It looks great." "You're trying to act like a chicken like they are." "They are just going to be doing like this." "They are minding their own business." "And then you just walk very quietly through there." "And you walk like a chicken." "[chicken sound] You're going" "To be doing a little of that." "All right, keep going Allyson." "MARIA GISMONDI:" "Actually, this is one of my favorite dances." "So... and I think this is one of the people's favorite dances." "These guys have been amazing." "They've been rehearsing this stuff when they don't have to." "They have been meeting up outside of, uh, calls" "To... to dance." "MAN:" "Oh, jeez." "That really bums me out because we don't need to do this dance." "CAMERAMAN:" "It's not." "You never wrote it into the script?" "GABE FRIEDMAN:" "No." "We're going to be in the basement." "The General Monster Is going to come out." "And instead of watching this one," "I cut to this for a minute and a half." "GABE FRIEDMAN:" "No." " Yes." "GABE:" "No." "CAMERAMAN:" "What time is it right now?" "It's 1:32 AM." "CAMERAMAN:" "And how much more do we still have to film?" "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "Standing by." "[Music playing] Frightened human faces... bodies strewn about." "Would you like a last request before I" "Peck your eyeballs out?" "MARIA GISMONDI: 5, 6, 7, 8, 1." "Hey." "Good." "Hey." "Hey." "Draw a circle." "Deep out." "Pull in." "Circle." "Deep side." "Zombie." "CAMERAMAN:" "Where's our DP right now?" "The DPs not coming out." "If we can't film, what is the purpose of your being here?" "Unless you want to be here." "No no, no." "Your purpose is you got to discuss the next scene." "You work on that, man." "Well, now he's coming." "Here he comes." "No, you're asking us to eat cold pizza" "And work for three more hours." "CAMERAMAN:" "Right." "And we haven't eaten since 8:00." "You know what time it is?" "CAMERAMAN: 4:00?" "Yes." "Here's the choice." "We we can either wrap and then get... or we can bring in some..." "Try to get hot food here." "But it's not going to be instant because they" "Have to make the hot food." "BRENDAN FLYNT:" "I understand that, yeah." "So we can keep working." "And then the hot food will come." "And when it comes, we stop and eat the hot food." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "We'll stop and eat the hot food, yeah." "And then we finish up." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "No problem." "Or we can just wrap." "BRENDAN FLYNT:" "Whatever." "But I can't ask my crew..." "No, no, I can agree with you." "To eat cold pizza and keep working for three hours," "You know?" "There's a diner right down there" "You can get like burgers and fried for you guys." "Is that fine?" "Whatever." "Come up with a plan and propose it to us." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "Hot food." "When it comes, we break." "Meanwhile, we'll keep working." "I don't know." "I'm too tired to figure out the catering." "That's not my job." "I'm DP." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "Well, you want to..." "If you want me to handle catering, I'll leave the set" "And handle it." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "You want to keep working?" "Don't you want me to do this on the set?" "Yes, let's keep doing this." "BRENDAN FLYNT:" "Or you want me to do catering?" "So I'll take... as long as you don't mind like hamburgers" "And french fries." "Can we do it?" "Yeah, you know?" "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "OK, I'll do the catering." "I'm 60 years old." "I haven't eaten all day." "So I don't know what the big fucking deal is." "I got people here getting paid nothing, having no food." "They seem OK." "Just to make a point..." "I'll make a point later on." "[Music playing] MARIA GISMONDI:" "Step." "Step." "Step up." "Step down." "Down up." "Together." "Hold in." "[Growls]" "You can cut." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "Cut." "OK." "Thank you, everyone." "It's a wrap." "Thank you." "Thank you." "[Applause]" "MARIA GISMONDI:" "Can I get a group zombie hug?" "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "It was great." "Thank you." "Thank you." "Thank you." "Thank you." "Ross, you're scared." "You're scared." "Open your eyes." "Open your eyes." "Look out at your nose." "Cross your eyes." "Cross your eyes." "Cross them." "OK, now go down and get Anna." "Ahh, yeah." "You and Stacy at the same time tomorrow." "I sure hope so." "Apparently that's what Brendan came over to tell us." "The art department girl zombie licking him on the neck." "Whatever." "It's tough times out here in Buffalo." "Action!" "[Screaming]" "Cut." "Nothing." "He went to the different spot." "The plate didn't go where it was supposed to." "Just turn your head and scream." "Action!" "[Screaming] DIRECTOR:" "Blood there." "Blood." "Cut, cut." "Guys, guys." "You just turned your head." "Unless you don't want to do it." "If there is some reason you don't" "Want to do it, no problem." "I want to do it." "It's not as easy as you think." "Well, it is easy as I think." "I've been doing it for 30 years." "You haven't." "Now this is just a temporary situation." "I got all that down." "It's hopeless." "You're going to have to break this up." "[Laughter]" "DIRECTOR:" "Action!" "Turn there." "[Screaming]" "DIRECTOR:" "Blood out of your mouth." "Cut." "OK, well." "DIRECTOR:" "If he hold himself up, he's controlling it." "Fucking, we stop casting retards, right?" "Seriously." "He wasn't a retard before." "[Music playing]" "Not in my face." "Not in my face." "DIRECTOR: 1, 2, 3, pull." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "Not that much..." "less movement." "Just jiggle your feathers a little bit, OK?" "Oh, thank god." "[Applause]" "JUSTIN BIVENS:" "We have live gunfire going on today." "It's very dangerous." "People cannot be moving in and out of the area where" "The filming is going to be." "[Gunfire]" "We can't make exceptions for anybody." "Buffalo Police said we cannot shoot a gun unless the people" "Who are operating the guns do it in front" "Of us and learn how to do it and learn the proper protocol." "So last night when we were shooting," "I said, Lloyd, you have to come at 7:00 AM" "To test out the guns." "I said, fuck that." "I'm not coming at 7:00 AM." "Fuck that." "Someone else will shoot the guns." "I gave him a very polite wake up request." "Lloyd, get your fucking ass down here goddammit" "Or we're shutting you down." "[Gunfire]" "[Gunfire]" "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "There's always the guns jam." "And they suck whether it's center firearms" "Or whether you have the best gunman in the world," "You know, they always jam no matter what." "CAMERAMAN:" "Do you think the guns are being handled correctly?" "I'm handling them." "CAMERAMAN:" "Yeah?" "Yeah, they're good." "CAMERAMAN: [inaudible]" "Everything is fine." "You're shooting zombies in the head." "And we have little pipes going in here." "And they come out of the head here." "All right, I just need to know that this one," "This one, and this one." "The ones that have squibs on them." "It's all right." "CREW:" "Can I have the sponge?" "[Music playing]" "[Explosion]" "[Applause]" "The squibs aren't good." "They are just a spray." "You don't see it on film." "It's not... it's not effective." "It's like a mist." "And the cameras see right through it." "CAMERAMAN:" "Do you think any part of that's usable?" "Any part of that last shoot?" "[Saw sound]" "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "Open the beak... the beak and eyes." "Don't see any... doesn't look like it's alive." "This is, uh, retarded work here." "And it's taking..." "We finished lunch" "Hours ago... cut stuff out." "So there's got to be other stuff to cut out." "Do the General's transformation and end the movie." "So we should finish this fucking thing on the 26th." "That's it." "So you guys figure out what's important." "And then finish it." "We've got no money left." "No, we don't have money left." "So we've got to finish it." "GABE FRIEDMAN:" "The reason we're off schedule" "Is because of extra..." "Extraneous shit" "That he adds like a fucking dance number that's not" "In the script at 4:00 in the morning, which" "Throws or schedule off balance." "Cut out the kid... cut out..." "You know, just skip the kid." "What do we need the kid for?" "Cut it out." "Right?" "I mean, look, this is absurd." "TIM CRONIN:" "Fight choreography is" "Fucking... it's been slashed and beaten" "And thrown out the window." "CAMERAMAN:" "So you did all this work for what?" "For this... get this." "CAMERAMAN:" "Whoa." "MAN:" "Get that shit?" "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "So Tom is going to give us a talk" "Now on what's coming out of what orifice." "Yeah, a little bit." "CAMERAMAN:" "Is that OK to have dry ice coming" "Out that close to the face?" "Why not?" "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "Ready?" "Roll cameras." "Action." "Jiggle, you die, Caleb." "Is smoke coming out?" "Is stuff coming out of him?" "Keep doing it." "Smoke." "We need the smoke." "And that's the stuff coming out of his cheeks." "Your beaks." "Your beaks." "Your beaks." "The beak... and cut." "It looked very... it looked like nothing." "I didn't see it." "It looked like nothing to me." "Well, hold it." "When does he die, too... the alcohol..." "Nothing came out of his mouth or his beak." "It all came down his sides." "GABE FRIEDMAN:" "The tube with the smoke fell out." "And you weren't listening." "Oh, you should have yelled it out." "I was screaming it." "I was so looking forward to today because it's so much" "Easier than being [inaudible]." "Y'all cut." "GABE FRIEDMAN:" "You all cut." "You both flipped out." "No, and then so what?" "We..." "The tube fell out." "The tube fell out." "The tube has fallen out." "You got to put up with us flipping out." "Because then you say why you said that." "I don't know how you couldn't understand" "When I was screaming." "I don't hear you." "It was [mumbling] and the cameras is whirring around." "That's why he said cut." "Yeah cut you understand or stop or something." "Cut means cut." "Or emergency or something." "Yeah, you might have to put up with us yelling at you." "But then afterwards you explain why." "Then we say OK." "It's just a fucking excuse, right?" "Someone could have said it properly, right?" "You aren't making this easy." "I heard you say, I said, yes, I know the tube fell out." "I'm going to just go on anyway?" "LLOYD KAUFMAN: (ON CAMERA) Cut, cut, cut." "OK." "Oh, shit, when did it fall out." "Now, I do whatever is next, please." "The tube fell out." "We got eight people saying it." "DIRECTOR: (ON CAMERAS) We're going to the arm now." "I don't see that." "I still don't see it." "There I never heard him say that either." "Oh, come on, seriously." "I didn't." "I didn't." "[Rain]" "This is Troma plays with death... number 37." "And why is that?" "Well, because if this water comes" "Through into the electrical thing, the whole thing blows." "CAMERAMAN:" "Still have that nice, little blankets up there." "Yeah, that's a quick fix." "But we're investigating a permanent fix." "Can you get a broom up here?" "CAMERAMAN:" "A broom up here." "Yeah, this one's awful." "CAMERAMAN:" "We need a broom." "Somebody bring a broom to the back." "Good work, Kiel." "I didn't do that." "Thanks for locking it up." "Weren't you supposed to lock it up." " I did." " It's your responsibility." "Hey, asshole." "Stay the fuck off the mic while we're rolling." "CAMERAMAN:" "You want to answer that because I got cursed that." "MAN:" "What did he say?" "CAMERAMAN:" "He said, hey, asshole." "Stay the fuck off the mic while we're recording." "There it is." "Andy." "CAMERAMAN:" "Figure out what your real face looks like." "Yeah." "CAMERAMAN:" "How many days in a row" "Have you been in this business?" "Mmm." "10, 11, 12?" "I don't know." "I lost track." "CAMERAMAN:" "So you've been going at this for a good week" "Now being a chicken zombie." "Yeah, underneath it all." "But, uh, and became accustomed to it." "So... it became very... it actually" "Started to become comfortable." "I started to get used to photographing" "And being a zombie was..." "But the cool thing is when I asked him today" "Rather him saying, oh, I'm so tired," "And it's itchy, and all that." "He says, I'm great." "I'm great." "And then that's the mood of the whole group." "It's so wonderful." "It's such a nice, uplifting experience," "Even for a broken down, drunken, old, low budget" "Filmmaker like me." "CAMERAMAN:" "How are enjoying your job?" "I'm ready to ride." "I think I didn't know what I was getting into." "Lack of sleep..." "lack of food." "18 hours day, seven days a week... sleeping on the floor" "With 50 people... not showering." "CAMERAMAN:" "No one talked to you about the way" "Troma was before you came to work on the set?" "No." "No, they manipulated me." "CAMERAMAN:" "And you're saying you don't" "Like living in a run-down McDonald's" "In the middle of the ghetto?" "With a hose for a shower?" "And no potty for pooper?" "And no sink?" "CAMERAMAN:" "Think you'll ever be back..." "Fuck no." "CAMERAMAN: for another movie?" "This battle is not for me." "I got some coffee." "I got a decent amount of sleep last night... more than I" "Got in the past two days." "A lot of love in the air today." "We're going to make a decent fucking" "Movie... not a good movie, not a bad movie," "But a decent fucking movie." "Fucking General monster, dude." "This is the fucking apex of the movie." "The hardest thing to do is like being in a creature suit" "And be directed because you can hardly hear... you" "Can hardly do any motion." "So of course we chosen the person on the set who" "Can speak the worst English." "Oh, it's a camera." "CAMERAMAN:" "How's it going?" "It's that suit pretty hot?" "Super-hot." "Super... it... when it's..." "Why do they pick a French guy?" "He comes out." "He's like this." "And then we cut." "Tell him that." "Do that." "Otherwise he's going to do nothing." "I believe that he is doing that but [speaking french]" "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "Look at the right because that's" "Where the heroes will get..." "DIRECTOR: 1, 2, 3, action." "[Speaking french]" "DIRECTOR:" "Action!" "CREW: [speaking french]" "Just I was afraid because of the hat because she fell," "You know?" "And that's why I am not completely satisfied." "But it's OK." "I love it." "Yeah, it's really great." "CAMERAMAN:" "No, no." "Looked pretty good, man." "Looked pretty good, man." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "When you're making low-budget movies," "It's very hard to find old people..." "I mean," "Mature people who can act." "And if they are any good, there in the union or they're" "Successful." "And in this particular part of old Arbie," "It's fairly physical." "Ah!" "You have to wear this mask and, uh, makeup." "And so there are probably no old person who could do it." "[Mumbling]" "[Laughing]" "BRENDAN FLYNT:" "There's supposed to be smoke here, I think." "CREW:" "Did you unplug it?" "CREW:" "We're about to use it." "CREW:" "Oh, OK." "How could you not laugh with us?" "Like a ballerina." "CAMERAMAN:" "Allyson, you look beautiful today." "Did you do something with your hair?" "Cut your hair?" "Why are you putting the plastic bag over your head?" "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "Quiet!" "Shut the fuck up." "To the bases." "Let's go!" "[Screaming]" "Get up high in the back." "Get up high." "That's it." "Lots of chicken... chicken too." "Chicken." "You're not doing chickens, folks." "I don't know." "I'm freaked out." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "They're not even made up." "They are not attempted to be made up." "Can you get somebody with black..." "CREW:" "This?" "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "No, not that." "The black stuff." "DIRECTOR:" "What camera roll is this." "You guys should be watching this." "We do it every night, every day." "I say watch the thing." "It's the scene featuring zombies reaching." "And they all have these hands that are white as snow." "Make sure to fuck up their hair," "Then the undersides of their arms," "And the backs of their necks." "And if we're in a big hurry, then maybe if everyone" "Is not done, there's a reason." "But these people have been here since 2:00 in the afternoon." "So the thing we just did." "It's going to look like a student movie." "But I'm not re-shooting it because we" "Don't have enough film." "MAN: [inaudible]" "Good." "All right, go away." "Maybe you and the priest go because my guess" "Is we're going to get very little done on our scene." "And, uh, I'm so concerned you may be uncomfortable." "What do you think?" "What time is it?" "It's 12:40." "Yeah, it's just I'm fearful that we won't make it." "And then you'll be uncomfortable." "Lloyd, I've been in this for 12 hours already." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "Yeah, but why not get an hour and a half..." "Why not do it tonight?" "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "I don't think we're going to make it." "ALLYSON:" "Yeah, it's your call." "Look, there's no attempt being made." "Caleb is here watching like as if he saw a car wreck." "And, uh, and they are not doing..." "I just" "Have a feeling it's been like this all night." "There's no movement." "I think it's wise to do that." "Yeah, maybe next time if you're going to put flour, water," "Peanuts, dirt, and shit, literally, with gnats and stuff" "In someone's hair, maybe think three days" "In advance instead of three days after to use a wig." "Looks like a punk, feels like a sneaker... ch, ch, ch, chi!" "Ch, ch, ch, chia motherfuckers!" "Yeah!" "Ha!" "Ha ha!" "Woo!" "Hoo!" "Woo!" "Yeah!" "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "OK, now you have your celebration." "It's not stopping." "Wait." "[Screaming]" "I can't get it to stop." "I didn't know this thing locks." "So I put it in lock." "And I didn't know how to turn it off." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "OK, action." "CREW:" "But it has to be..." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "Cut." "OK." "CREW:" "But it has to be her." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "Yeah, I agree." "But who knows." "I just don't [inaudible] you never know." "Oh, god, Wendy, that is just sick..." "Having sex with a corpse?" "CREW:" "He thought she was dead." "A corpse is... a corpse is..." "CREW:" "No, it's not." " It just lays there." "It does nothing." "A dead person can walk." "He's a very stupid guy." "I think it's a funny line." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "That makes no sense." "GABE FRIEDMAN:" "Neither does a penis chicken." "Well, are you OK with this?" "And the master if it squirts?" "She does not want to do the penis monster?" "CAMERAMAN:" "Why not?" "WOMAN:" "She thinks it's too gross." "It's pornographic and demeaning to women." "And I just..." "I mean, I'm not the biggest feminist on earth," "But like..." "CAMERAMAN:" "No." "I have my limits, I guess." "CAMERAMAN:" "No, no, no." "That's understandable." "After much conversation, she said that she'll do it" "As long as no cum gets in her face..." "Maybe the boobs... around the head... nothing in the face." "That way at least her parents will respect her." "CAMERAMAN:" "What's the solution that they came up with?" "The solution is to have it happen to Jason instead of me." "CAMERAMAN:" "Seriously?" " Mhm." "CAMERAMAN:" "OK." "It comes out." "It's still going to leak green vaginal fluids, of course." "And then nothing happens until Arbie comes in" "And it says, oh, my god." "Get off my girlfriend." "And he grabs it." "And he says, get off my girlfriend." "How can I get you off?" "I think it'll be funnier." "And it still we be in bad taste." "But it won't be just misogynistic," "Which we don't want." "Ah!" "I will get you off!" "Maybe I need to beat you off." "Oh, it's going to be greenish, right?" "It's not going to be white." "KIEL:" "Yeah, it's got to be covered in slime." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "What's coming out of it's mouth?" "Milk." "No, come on." "Puts some color in it." "Why is it milk?" "CREW:" "OK, green then." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "Yeah, green milk." "GABE FRIEDMAN:" "Dude, let's just shoot." "Fuck you." "Come on." "It's not a porno film..." "You sophomoric people." "I told you green." "Green is a chicken color unless they are shitting," "In which case it has corn in it." "You have to have rules in these things, right?" "Are you rolling?" "This is totally my favorite scene." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "Action." "I kill myself so that democracy can survive." "May Allah bless America." "I kill myself so that democracy can survive." "I kill myself so democracy can survive!" "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "You look like you're embarrassed." "You want some tips?" "Like that." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "Try it again, please." "Dancing." "(SINGING) I [inaudible] faces, bodies strewn about." "Would you like a last request before I" "Peck your eyeballs out?" "I'm a professional dancer." "I know what to do." "[Music playing] You white devils are a vegan breed." "You know that love just step in greed." "But I love Arbie, yes it's true." "They do the chickens." "We love them too." "I think it's important." "I think somehow... no, that was good, Faith." "The only time it looked bad was when" "You weren't doing something." "She was awful." "In half the scene." "She would be just be sitting there like this..." "Like a pipe cleaner doll." "[Music playing] Would you like a last request" "Before I peck your eyeballs out?" "Mr. Chicken, I have a confession." "Before our bones, you start mashing." "Can't you see that we're in love?" "Sorry, I don't give a fuck." "We just came to cluck shit up." "You show no love for the redskin man." "You came, you saw, you raped our land." "Home run, KW." "Home run." "Are you giving me the beak or the claw?" "I don't know which one I'm supposed to give you?" "CREW:" "It's going to start out with a closeup" "Of his fingernails digging for a scratch and popping off." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "I think we're not exactly..." "Looks like something..." "BRENDAN FLYNT:" "The General blew up." "Supposedly the General blew up." "And it just went [explosion sound]" "Blood all over, right?" "Yep." "So it can blow up right here." "That's fine." "He's going to blow!" "That was anti-climactic." "We just made a company move to our flat plain" "Which Brendan wants." "The way Brendan is going to shoot it," "It's going to look they are driving." "He's going to frame out this off the ground." "If you see a tree or a house, then obvious the car" "Is not moving." "So we angle the car so that my camera angle will get more sky" "And not see the treeline." "I'm not sure how you make a car look like it's moving." "Let's have someone tell the kid to let her sip the stuff." "Or pretend to sip it or chug it." "And then just crush it with your hand." " No, don't crush it." " OK, don't crush it." "No noises." "Now, these we put it on a dolly." "And we just rock it back and forth a little bit" "To look like we're driving next to it as it's moving." "Never look right." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "Because we are perfectionists," "We are going to re-shoot in the graveyard." "And it shows you that we are serious." "We want to really make the scene, uh, good." "We end where we began." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "And action." "[Music playing]" "It felt like I was on "Oz."" "I felt violated." "I'm glad it worked." "I hope it was in focus." "Uh, is that focused?" "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "Yeah, I don't know yet." "John, you got to keep your feet planted." "Oh, fuck." "CAMERAMAN:" "So how are you feeling today, Lloyd." "Oh, very good." "Thank you very much." "How are you?" "CAMERAMAN:" "I'm good." "Yep." "CAMERAMAN:" "Excited about today?" "We still have a final... final surprise." "On the last day." "All we have to do is film two seconds of this stupid fucking" "Shithole." "I was minding my own business shaving this morning." "And I get a phone call of Andy saying," "I have some disturbing news for you." "GABE FRIEDMAN:" "Lloyd, do you want to see this?" "Hello, yes, Andy, what?" "What?" "Today's the day that we had to do the establishing shots" "Of the American Chicken Bunker and the exploding building" "With the matt shot... the same thing we did in "Toxi IV"" "Where you take a photo of the building" "And you line it up with the actual building." "Then you blow it up." "But this morning, I got a call from Ryan who said that when" "He woke up, the sign was gone." "And it turns out that the man who" "Installed them decided to take them down and figured we" "Were done." "What the heck... why did you take it..." "Who told them to take it down?" "Why did the guy take the sign down?" "What gave him the idea to take it down?" "Whose bright idea was that?" "Which efficient Troma person told" "Them to take the sign down when we're going to be shooting it?" "This was supposed to be very quick, easy day." "And as everything goes in Tromaville," "It's completely fucked." "We've used different actors." "We got a kabuki car that's got a different color." "It doesn't matter." "Nobody is going to be looking for a sign, right?" "They are just going to see a place blow up." "People want to see things blow up." "So let's make it happen no matter what, please." "So the sign is 40 feet by 5 feet." "It weighs more than Joe Fleischaker." "And um..." "CAMERAMAN:" "And you've got to sit on this thing." "The corner of the thing." "It's on the corner." "We're breaking it." "We're breaking it." "There's literally no support." "I mean, you drop." "Look..." "look how fast that thing flies." "MAN:" "Yeah, I know." "[Drilling]" "Beautiful." "OK, I got it." "Got it." "Got it?" "Great." "Yeah, thank you." "BRENDAN FLYNT:" "OK, listen up." "For the..." "Quiet everybody." "BRENDAN FLYNT:" "Listen up for the explosion, all right?" "I was trying to think." "Just do two." "Just break it up." "And put the powder in it." "No, no, no." "If you light it like that." "[Explosion]" "BRENDAN FLYNT:" "Still didn't blow it up." "[Explosion]" "[Laughter]" "[Beep]" "BRENDAN FLYNT:" "Action." "[Explosions]" "Bam!" "[Laughter]" "CREW:" "Ah, you made Brendan jump." "[Explosion]" "That's a wrap." "That's a wrap." "[Applause]" "All right, everyone, that's a wrap." "[Cheers]" "That's a wrap on principal photography." "[Cheers]" "Good job." "Thank you." "I try." "Let's get freaky." "[Applause]" "CAMERAMAN:" "That's a a wrap." "Sweet." "CAMERAMAN:" "Just want to go home?" "I just want to go home." "[Music playing]" "Now get out of my face, Andy Kelerman." "ANDY:" "Thanks, Evan." "I refuse to believe you're rolling." "This isn't really interesting at all." "It's a camera on." "It's behind the scenes..." "Filming behind the scenes." "CAMERAMAN:" "Check this out." "[Music playing]"