"Dag?" "Dag, I know you're awake." "I heard you getting dressed." " Sorry." " For what?" "For not being able to sneak out while I slept?" "No, I was just feeling guilty." "Do you need anything?" "Can I help?" "Like what?" "Dag, you're trying to sneak out, the morning after we've had sex." "I'm not mad." "I'm just done with that part of my life." "I guess I feel a little left out here." "With the two of you..." "In the way..." "But seriously, is there anything I can do before I go to work?" "No, just leave." " Sure?" " Perfectly." "Just go." "Bye." "Hi, Mia." "What the fuck are you doing?" "It's silly and pointless but still human to be jealous of the little sunbeam you've been once." "This hardly seems all that difficult." "You can have it delivered to your door." "The guy before you went downstairs for the exercise." " Do I look like I need exercise?" " No." "Euthanasia, perhaps." " I can still hear, you know." " Right." "Duly noted..." "Yes." "Out, out!" "Get the hell out!" " You have to understand..." " Understand what?" "That you're fucking my cousin or fucking my other cousin,   who is paraplegic?" " I know you're angry, but please listen." "What the fuck is there to hear?" "Do you think you can say anything to make this better?" "Not at all." "I get that this is over." "Finito." " I get that." "I might as well..." " Don't try it." "You've taken everything from me." "My pride." "Everything." "If someone's ending this, it's not going to be you." " OK, so it's not over?" " Oh, yes." "I'm breaking up." "If I ever see you again, I will kill you." "Mia, wait." "Look." "Here." "If that's a Hallmark card or cash, I'll kill you now." "Easy." "It's just a couple of gift cards." " Gift cards?" " Gift cards for a trip." "I was going to take you on a romantic trip,   but now it's better if you take them, and I move out." "Then you and the boy can get a breather." "Get some distance." "OK?" "You've got two hours, Benedikt." "In two hours, I'll be back." "By then, you're gone." "The only trace of you will be the scent of Pine-sol   and 3 month of child support in advance." " Is that understood?" " OK." "No worries." "Have a good trip!" "Or, I'll call you?" "Mia, my baby!" "Fuck!" "No, stop it." "Come on." "I am... three things?" "Five thing you're good at." "Come on." "It can't be that hard." "This is embarrassing." "I'm the only one here." "Why should I brag about myself?" "Nobody asked you to brag." "Five things you're good at." "Frying bacon." " Give me a break." " I am." "We're talking about emotions, not dead pigs." "I want five good qualities in you as a human being." "How long have we been there?" "Twenty minutes?" "All you've come up with is that you're good at frying bacon." "If I'd asked you to list character flaws,   we'd be sitting here until morning." " Yes, but I don't want to." " But whining is fine." "Hour after hour." "Whine, whine, whine." "Isn't that why I'm here?" "To ease the pressure?" "I thought you were here to get well." "The cemetery is full of self-pitying people." "They don't rest any easier." "I'm a good listener, a good friend." "This bullshit is for menopausal winos in drum circles." "Are you?" "What?" " A good listener?" "A good friend?" " Those were examples." "I don't give a shit." "I asked you some questions." "Are you a good listener?" "Are you a good friend?" "Since you ask, then maybe." "Then say it." " I already did." " No, say it." "I am..." "Good listener." " The whole thing." " I'm a good listener." "And the other one." "Come on." " I'm a good friend." " Louder." "I'm a good friend!" " Difficult?" " Yes, quite." " Embarrassing?" " Terribly." " A little drink would help?" " Definitely." "You can't." "Time's up, Dag." "See you tomorrow." "I have to try and get to work." "I'm not someone who sleeps with someone and tries to sneak out." "Time's up." "I can't hear you." " Glenn Are Eilertsen?" " Down the hall." " Hi, daddy." " It's about time." "I was just about to shit myself." "You brought your brat to work?" "Put that down and help me on the can." "Fucking hell." "It went back up again." "My damned prostate works like a cork back there." "If I wait long enough I can just spit it all out." "Daddy, this is Leon." "Leon, this is grandpa." " Can you put on some Bjøro?" " Daddy, you're a grandfather." "Can you get your fat ass moving and put on some Bjøro?" "You have to turn the damn thing on." "Can't hear a damn thing   if it's turned down." "I thought I was going deaf!" "So, when's dinner?" "I'm your daughter." "Do you think I'm 15?" "There it is." "Daddy, you're a grandfather." "Are you nuts?" "I don't remember him." "My mom, on the other hand." "Great woman." "She was so happy when I brought Elin home." "Elin was a great woman." "A bit dense, but a lovely piece." " Please." " Not an ounce on evil in her." " She was an angel." " So why did you leave?" "I was 6, and you just left." "You don't do that to your daughter." " Huh?" " You don't do that to your daughter!" "I had one of those." "Is that a girl?" "My daughter really loves to draw." "You should see the stuff she made." "Just crap, but she thinks it's great, and then I do too." "Have a look." "Look." "She'd just got a puppy." "That supposed to be that thing." "And that's me." "That thing is the sun." "Black." "I'm just wondering what the fuck..." "What do you think, huh?" "Here you stand." ""Maria", it says." " Yes, it's me." " Right." "With a man this time." "Or men." " Yes, they're mine." " Both of them?" "You say that as if there's something wrong with that." "One partner is hard enough for most people." "I have no plans to conform." "Do you know Paul's letter to the Ephesians?" ""Wives, be subject to your husbands,   as to the Lord." "For the husband is the head of the wife,   as Christ is the head of the church."" "It sounds like the slogan for an SM club." "Male chauvinism has walked behind the cross for two thousand years." "I want to change that." "So I've started the Sisters of Maria." "The Sisters of Maria?" "We practice polyandry, woman having several men." "We're named after she who the male church calls a whore,   even if she was Christ's most faithful disciple." "The only one who stayed with him on the cross when the others ran." "And you're fine with this?" " Yes, they believe in me." " In you?" "Yes." "Is that any worse than believing in a bipolar carpenter?" "And Jesus Christ, your ex?" "Do you know anyone who say they can fly and walk on water, who're not manic?" "He was probably more manic than depressive." "Except when he asks Judas to betray him for 30 coins of silver." "He was probably on a downturn then." "How can I help?" "They're jealous." "Do they speak at all?" "You, for instance." "What's the problem?" "There's no problem." "Ronny and I are great friends." "You're in a relationship, but only have half the stress." "Like she says, 90% of all prisoners are men." "Why shouldn't we have women lead us?" "Besides, she's fantastic in bed." "You just grab the ankles and hold on." " But now there's a problem?" " She wants to marry another man." "I've known Tom for a long time." "We were scientologists together,   but she wants to marry someone we don't know." "So you're recruiting from Scientology?" "You have to start somewhere." "They're used to thinking that the soul is hidden by   otherworldly Thetans under the command of emperor Xenus." "Putting faith in me might be more concrete,   but we're not her to talk about me." "I'm not the one having problems." "Religion, as it is for women,   is like tossing both ends of the rope to a drowning person." "Men having multiple wives is more wide-spread than monogamy." "Nobody asks these women what they think." "But now we're here." "That's a tad better." "What, exactly, can I do?" "Tell them, if they don't shape up, I'll take out the tool box." "It might have more weight coming from you." "You are a very disturbed woman." "I didn't invent the inquisition, didn't start the crusades,   and I'm not endlessly sodomizing altar boys." "You're the one penetrating people with a flag pole." "In contrast to what men do when they annex new lands." "Open the door." "I know you're there." " Hi." " Hi." "Do you have spare keys?" "No more bullshit." "Whatever it is, can we deal with it later?" " The keys." " Can't you see things are a mess?" "Talk to Mia." "You obviously share a lot." "She's in Berlin for a couple of days." "You have to host a girlfriend of mine." "No, seriously." "Come here." "Did you forget what you did to my sister?" "The rape, as I will refer to it." " What are you saying?" " Either you help me out,   or I'm reporting you." " I don't even live here." "2 days, Benedikt." "Maybe just one." "A girlfriend of mine from Russia,   who messed with the wrong crowd." "She's hiding in Oslo for a few days." "She needs a bed, and something in the fridge." "That's it." " "Wrong crowd"?" "Who are they?" " They're in Russia." "Gimme the keys." "No, I..." "Please." "A bit of luck, and I'll fix this with Mia." "If she finds out that a girl stayed here..." "In 2 days, it'll all be history." "Relax." " When does she get here?" " 15, 20 minutes." "You thought you could trick me?" "No coffee during Ramadan?" "I can drink coffee all night!" "Next week, then, if not before." " Hi." " Hi." "This is a bit awkward." "You mus think I'm a psycho who stalks you at work." "No, no." " Malin, do you mind?" " Don't mind me." "But, please." "Fine." "I was just going to..." " It looked expensive." " Very expensive." "I've tried to call you to arrange   for me to drop it off for you,   but you never answer the phone." "I thought you'd fallen off the wagon." "No, no." "That's fine." "It's going fine." "I understand if you don't want to see me again,   or want nothing to do with me." "That's fine." "No, no." "Yes." "Well." "It's just that I..." "I like you." "I like you too." "Me too." " Maybe we can meet sometime?" " Of course we could." " Or grab a coffee?" " Yeah, lovely." "That's perfect." ""Perfect"?" "Why did you say that?" "It's not perfect, is it?" "Perfect means that you have to show up." "Do you want to?" "Fuck." "Shit just hit the fan." "I have to hang up." "Hell." "Exactly." "Good lord." " Hi." " Hi." "Oh, it's you." "Come on in." " That's a new one." " I guess it is." "Can I put him down somewhere?" "He's a bit..." "Yeah, sure." "Just..." "Listen, about this morning." "I'm sorry." "I think I just panicked or something." "Don't apologize." "I'm the idiot." "Nobody's an idiot." "It just got a bit much for both of us." "I don't regret anything, just so you know." "Yeah, regret...?" "Yeah, regret..." "No, me neither." "Well, if it wasn't awkward already." "Yeah, sorry." "Don't..." "Fuck." "I like you so much, Dag,   but I never know where you're really at." "Well, I'm here." "I'm almost always here." "Don't make a joke of it." "It's not just me now." "I'm part of a package deal." "Twice the Holstad for the price of one." "A bit more work,   and very real." "If you understand what I'm saying." "I don't know." "I understand you, but there's just all these words." "I'm a little sick of words, thinking and meaning." "Can't we just be together, and not have to think so much?" "That's what I've been wanting all along."