"Han Shan" "Damn it." "Oh my God." "Stay calm." "Calm What's wrong?" "Huh?" "Where's Fred?" "Has anyone seen Fred?" "No?" "No one's seen Fred." "Where is he?" "Fred?" "Anyone seen Fred?" "What's this?" "What is it, huh?" "Terrence Malick ""Tree of Life"." "Faggoty, faggoty, faggoty garden faggoty mother in the faggoty light... faggoty American family drama." "Faggoty God, why did you take my kid away?" "What is this?" "Our paper's film review?" "What is this?" "What are you doing in here?" "Printing some of your own crap?" "Get your things." "Get out of here." "Quickly." "Cheers!" "I don't want to go back there." "If I think of that herd, my head spins." "You still work at the perfume counter?" "Where else?" "Where else can I go?" "It makes me want to puke." "Yeah, those smells are foul." "I can't stand those people!" "Fuck. it's a fucking biomass scurrying, sweating." "Biomass?" "Fucking biomass!" "In the bar where l work..." "They've lost all individuality." "And there's 7 billion more of them." "When I think of it..." "Eating and fucking all the time..." "Biomass?" "You're biomass too." "And what are you then?" "Some Nietzschean?" "What are you studying, huh?" "Psychology, right?" "Biomass?" "Never in my life have I heard uglier thoughts." "FREE RANGE" "I'm pregnant." "I'm keeping it." "You know I haven't planned for this..." "No, you only made plans for yourself." "Don't be petty!" "Who's being petty?" "I got fired yesterday." "Why?" "What's the difference?" "So what do you plan to do now?" "I'm going to write." "I'm taking this wire." "Mhmm." "Susanna is pregnant." "She has very strange fingers." "I don't know if I can love a woman with such strange fingers." "Eat!" "Tomorrow you'll go home and sort it out." "Here." "That..." "What was her name... the one who left you for the German?" "Traitor to the fatherland?" " Yeah." "She was here." "Looking for you." "Yeah?" "Yeah." "Watch it!" "For the man who no longer postpones joining the ranks of the best," "is a slave and arbiter to the gods." "He communes with that which is deep inside him" "and which keeps pleasure from defiling him, pain and toil from wounding him." "No insolence can strike him, no ill will seize him." "A fighter in the ultimate fight, the one that keeps passion from having him." "it's sad what happened with us." "So what happened with you and the Baron von Hardon?" "I didn't see the soul behind his laughter." "What does that mean?" "It just didn't work out.I" "Why do rats eat shit?" "They're curious animals." "Toxoplasmosis is pretty cunning!" "Foxes are cunning, toxoplasmosis is smart." "Stay with me!" "I can't." "I'm sorry!" "Where were you?" "Around." "Why did you come back?" "Because of you." "You'd kill yourself." "Look at me." "Fred, look at me." "Look at my face." "Look at my eyes." "Fred?" "Just look me in the eye." "Things turn sour, the future looks mighty bleak." "The young writer put us in quite a pickle the other day." "With his film review." "Good joke, but but we didn't have time to call back the whole print run." "But it all worked out at the end of the day." "And then..." "What did we find in the printer?" "The ending of a long novel." "Didn't we?" "Yes we did." "We gave it to the experts  andturnsoutit'sprettygood." "Some odd and curious episodes." "Heaps of suffering." "But writers suffer." "Right?" "How to live with the knowledge that all we can yearn for," "That all we reach for with our bony, opposable-thumbed, outstretched hands," "all our dreams and hopes are nothing but brittle dust?" "How not to..." "How not to be exhausted when you think of all the food you've eaten and have yet to eat." "How not to feel exhausted while opening a bottle of Pinot Noir?" "How to even stand upright without sinking down, along the wall, onto the concrete floor?" "And how to bear that hideous force that pushes blades of grass through asphalt" "Knowing that the same force is inside you, and it's strong." "And that you'll keep stand due to the same force, and that you'll remain standing for a long time yet." "And how to live when you weren't taught to kill and you've also never learned to glance at yourself from the other side of the room with the indifference of a passer-by?" "How to live with the knowledge that you did not become the heavy drop that fell on the other shore?" "When you realize that you are dragging your own corpse around" "But that knowledge won't loosen your grip but tightens it even more." "When you feel the urge to climb into a church tower to shout obscenities at passers-by while the beam in your own eye tires your neck." "So there you stand, jaw dropped to your chest, knees stiff, body bent and hand held out in prosecution." "How to live when you know that there is so little that is lovable in you... as in anyone who considers one to be oneself?" "We say:" "The lie is omnipotent and fear is its prophet." "We, the apes, who have conquered outer space but are hesitant and unsure when it comes to inner space," "We, the apes, have asked." "I don't get it." "I don't understand this prematurely wise pessimism." "You're a young man, your whole life ahead of you..." "And this sardonicism you use to try to mask your self-pity with superiority?" "it's unnatural." "Sardonicism?" "Are you trying to say that this is you?" "Maybe it is." "Maybe." "Let's put it this way - what is the use of it?" "To whom is it useful?" "Useful?" "How did a peasant get in here?" "A poet!" "And what, we'll eat the rhymes?" "How do you plan to support my daughter?" "And your child?" "Alright, we'll fix up this novel of yours." "A few good reviews, some interviews." "I have a friend in publishing..." "Somehow we need to sell this genius of yours." "That's the talk of a common whore." "I feel sorry for you, honey." "Valdo is impotent!" "Stop it, mom!" "A little, nasty impotent with his little, nasty, impotent dick." "Oh yeah?" "Look at your eyes." "Bug-eyed..." "Veroonika, not in front of our daughter!" "...watery fish eyes." "Mom, please." "Let's go to bed." "You go to bed!" "But you!" "Go to your secretaries, you fucking impotent!" "Has she not taken her pills?" "Stick the pills up your ass, you man whore." "I'm going to slit my wrists." "Then you'll cry, you shit." "Open the door, Veroonika." "You hear me?" "Veroonika!" "Where did you put that shard?" "Where did you put that shard?" "Yeah..." "You are in a tight spot." "I don't want to finish writing it." "I don't want to know what'll happen then." "What can happen?" "An honest man can't fail." "Even if he he hits rock bottom." "He just can't." ""l'm not dishonest." "Not courageous either." "They pointed out their world to me today I saw the bloodstains on the pointing finger" "And quickly said ""l like my world that way."" "That man knew how to write." "I feel like I'm lying but I don't know to whom and about what." "Why not just drop the writing and go to work?" "To do something useful." "With one's hands." "Anything is possible." "The same thing happened to me." "You weren't even born yet." "Your mom was still pregnant with you." "I was on my way home, from drinking, probably." "What else." "I crossed a street and suddenly saw this sports jacket." "Just a regular jacket, you know?" "I didn't think anything of it." "Not my style at all." "But I stopped." "I don't know why. I thought, here I am now, me and this jacket." "And I knew that it was a sign." "What sign?" " A sign." "Just a sign." "Then what?" "What what?" "I put it on." "I went home wearing it." "Then I completed my studies in university and got a job." "For four years I was a family man." "I did it." "My responsibility to society is paid off." "Slap my back." "Oh my God." "Oh Lord." "We had this girl in here." "We switch every other day." "One day a bee stung her, right in the face." "Bzzz and her face swelled up." "When I came to work the next day, she had rearranged everything." "This was here, that there..." "New curtains." "I asked her, what happened last night?" "What happened here?" "And she goes: " The Lord now lives in our room."" "A missionary bee." "You don't joke with such things." "Do you have anything to drink?" " Hold on." "You pour." "How is she?" "She's asleep." "Do you want me to give you some money?" "I had to fire him." "He is not fit to assume responsibility." "We don't need your money." "Hey, slow down a bit!" "What are you doing?" "Damn it, don't break the machine." "This isn't a fucking fairground." "Don't damage the vehicle, damn it." "How does it go here... ls it possible to get an advance?" "You mean right now?" "What...?" "I'll pay it back on payday." "How much do you need?" "A hundred." "And easy on the vehicle, damn it." "Get it?" "And behave!" "Seriously." "What is this?" "A Kindergarten?" "Get out of here." "What is that?" "Tongue sausage." "The table's on fire!" "Wait, I'll get a..." "Hold on..." "Bread..." "Put that away." "it's gross, you don't want that." "Cookies." "Butter cookies." "That's pretty good." "Give me a shrimp." "What are you doing?" "Didn't anyone show him how to do it?" "Hey, what the fuck are you doing?" "Why are you dropping it here?" "Can't you see the pile over there?" "Fuck!" "Sweep it up." "Oh, very good." "What the fuck?" "!" "You're listening to Negro music?" "No I'm glad that Obama is the president." "I like black women, Asian women." "I'd do them all." "But whom I don't like, is Jews." "Bankers." "With long fingers." "How do you know who's a Jew?" "What, you have a Jewish friend?" "I don't know." "How can I tell who is a Jew and who is not?" "The nose." "By the nose." "You like women I hope?" "Yes." "Everyone's a fag these days." "I was in the guard's battalion." "Posted outside the President's residence." "I don't get those skinheads." "Why do they... I think I need a new job." "I like the way you emphasize this need." "You're really serious about this." "Yeah, imagine." "I need a fucking job." "I need some wankers to suck the life out of me." "To grind away all my life..." "Spend all my energy with some pointless..." "And the best I can do is to leave my offspring" "in the same situation." "Has it ever been any different?" "Of course it has!" "Before, people lied and everyone knew they were were lying." "It was liberating." "But now, you have to lie and pretend that all of this has a point and direction to it." "That it's possible to achieve some kind of a backwards utopia." "A fucking crappy, little mini-utopia." "A small, shitty trickle of egotism and greed." "What are you doing?" "Fuck!" "Damn it!" "Fucking hell!" "Do you even want to work?" "I do." "Then I might have a suitable challenge for you." "Say something then." "What?" "You read it?" "I didn't finish it." "The part you read." "You didn't like it?" "You think that it's shit?" "I don't think that it's shit." "Then why won't you say anything?" "I don't know what to say." "It scares me." "Scares?" "it's depressing." "I don't understand how can anyone live with those thoughts." "When it comes to literature, you're your father's daughter." "is there anyone left in the world who meets your high standards?" "Are you saying I'm alone in this world with my thoughts?" "Don't torment me." "You're a child." "But maybe literature isn't the most important thing in the world!" "What does the spoiled brat say to that?" "it's two in the morning... I'm at your door with some other guy..." "And the prime minister is with us." "The prime minister has a bag on his head." "And I wanna know, who would let us in?" "There's a minivan with taped-up windows outside." "Give me some water." "I want to know, if you'd let us in or not." "Or would you call the pigs?" "I wouldn't do it." "Hey, hey..." "look at me." "Don't come to my door..." "Don't come to my door with this hateful bullshit." "Fuck you!" "Go fuck yourself!" "Fuck, I don't want to talk about this any more." "Why did you do that?" "I don't give a shit." "I don't give a shit." "Go to hell." "Seriously." "Go and fuck yourselves!" "All of you." "And you?" "I have a kid at home." "I'm not letting you in." "What the fuck!" "Why?" "Why?" "Why did you spray Schweppes in my face?" "it's because I'm..." "What are you doing?" "You idiot!" "What are you doing?" "Oh my God!" "Wait!" "Wait!" "Where are you going?" "To the clinic." "What clinic?"