"June 21st." "Exile to Siberia." "I mean, New Jersey." "Is there a difference?" "I can't tell." "Isn't Siberia the place they send you to die?" "And from my experience" "Ocean Grove isn't that much different." "I think the median age is 85 with the life expectancy of 86." "Sounds about right to me." "Thanks, Mom." "Thank you for buying me a one-way ticket to hell." "I mean, Grams' and Gramps' mausoleum." "where it always smells like desiccated socks." "Oh, I'm sure they're thrilled too." "It'll just be one great summer of Chinese torture for all of us." "Who cares anyway?" "Nobody." "Actually, maybe Ocean Grove is the perfect place for me." "In fact, when I get off this bus" "I should just walk over to the pier and jump, end it all." "Goodbye, world." "Goodbye, New Jersey." "The truth is, if I weren't around, it would solve everyone's problems." "Mom could really focus on saving marriage number nine." "And my grandmother- well, she could spend her whole summer making those seashell thingies she makes." "And Gramps could finally finish fixing up that boat of his." "Yeah, Grams definitely wouldn't care if I weren't around." "I swear she has some serious anxiety issues." "Maybe I should give her some of my pills." "That's what I should do- make it easy on everyone." "If I weren't here, their lives would be better." "There's only one person who might actually care, but Dad isn't around anymore." "Buses suck, huh?" "Great." "Hello, New Jersey!" "Good times, good times." "Hi, sweetie." "Greta, how nice to see you." "Gramps, Grams, hi." "You folks don't look so bad, all things considered." "Hello to you too, Greta." "Yeah, hello hello." "We all know why I'm here." "No need to act thrilled about it." "We're glad to have you here, honey." "We really are." "Yeah, well, I didn't really plan on spending my summer in Jersey, in what might as well be a nursing home." "Well, I guess you're glad to be out of school for the summer, right?" "If I cared one microbe about school," "I guess yeah, it'd be some kind of a relief." "Your mother said you were on the honor roll all year." "That's terrific." "You should be proud of yourself." "You'll get into a good college." "I'm not going to college." "Of course you're going to college." "The fact is that I'm gonna kill myself before I turn 18, so that doesn't really leave much time for an undergraduate degree." "I assume that you understand that a joke is supposed to be funny." "It's not a joke." "See, I've been making this list of all the different ways you can die- self-immolation, falling from a great height." "I don't know about electrocution." "I hear that your heart actually cooks and you puke up your melted guts." "All right, Greta, just stop." "Just stop right now." "Well, at the same time, I've been making this list of things that I want to do before I die." "For instance, I want to eat a bug just to say that I did." "I want to get in a fistfight with a grown man." "Don't ask." "I want to learn how to really paint, and maybe get a tattoo." "Anyway, as soon as I choose my method of death then I'm gonna cross as much off my to-do list as I can and commit some kind of grizzly suicide." "Voilà." "You won't have Greta to kick around anymore." "Come on, Greta." "Well, look who it is." "You certainly have grown up to be quite the pretty young lady under all that makeup." "Mrs. Wocheski, same nosy old bag." "What?" "What's that?" "I said, "Isn't this heat a drag?"" "A drag?" "Hey, did you hear about that huge hunk of space junk that landed in some old lady's home just about a month ago right here in Jersey?" "Jersey?" "The universe is just loaded with things that we've left up there." " What?" " And all of a sudden" " Bam!" " Whaa!" "Instantly vaporized." "Parnelli." "Hey." "What's it like living with the mummies of Guanajuato?" "Do you ever get used to that smell?" "Hmm?" "You don't care, as long as someone feeds you and scoops your litter." "It's a pretty good deal, a life you want anyway." "I'm trying not to be judgmental, Joseph, but she's a handful." "Oh, Katherine, it's only three months." "September will be here before you know it." "You don't think she's serious, do you?" "No, I think she's just being dramatic, trying to push our buttons." "Yeah, you know who she reminds me of at that age?" "Karen." "Ow." "I'm nothing like my mother!" "Nothing!" "Hey, Gramps, can I bump a $20?" "Mm!" "Greta, we have rules in this house." "I assume your mother told you about them." "Yeah." "I'm sure she did." "I'm also sure I wasn't paying attention." "Oh, well, then listen to me." "Now you can have a very nice summer here, but it won't be without structure and supervision." "Now if you want to have spending money, you're going to have to get a job." "And there will be a 10:00 PM curfew." "And you're not permitted beyond the town lines, especially not to Asbury Park." "That's no place for you." "So does all of that sound fair to you?" "Let me tell you how this works:" "I go where I want when I want with whom I want." "And I don't come home until I want to." "Now that's how it works at Karen's." "So if you've got a problem with it, take it up with her." "She's the one who dumped me on you two anyway." "Okay?" "Let's just do each other a favor, stay out of each other's way." "Summer will be over before we know it." "Deal?" "Deal." "Where did you get that?" "Oh, yeah." "What does that thing get, 90 yards to a gallon?" "Only on a steep downgrade." "Can I borrow it?" "Huh-uh." "I heard about what happened when you went to get your driver's license." "That DMV guy was emotionally unstable, okay?" "It was not my driving that made him cry." "I'm serious." "Okay, we'll see what your mother thinks." "Like she thinks." "I swear she holds the record for the most blah moments." "She thinks that string theory has something to do with macramé." "This is the same woman that gives me advice on boys." "Her husbands are in and out so fast, I can't even keep track." "What, is this husband number nine?" "Three." "And you can't drive alone without a license." "It's against the law." "What's the worst that's gonna happen, Grams?" "I die?" "No, the worst thing that can happen is that you take somebody with you when you die." "Ocean Grove." "More like Ocean Grave." "No wonder Mom left this place when she was 17." "It's so passé." "I'll make her pay for this torture when I get home." "That is, if I make it home." "Wow." "Okay, I'll give it to her" "Grams looked pretty." "Can I help you?" "There's something majorly wrong with the cable." "I think you ought to call and light a fire under someone's ass." "We don't have cable." "Wait, say that again." "I said we don't" "What are you wear-?" "Oh, look at you." "How do you survive without cable?" "It's really tough, Greta." "Sometimes we cry ourselves to sleep at night." "You know, you can always rent videotapes." "Videotapes?" "Come on, who lives like this?" "Oh, stop the histrionics, Greta, for goodness' sakes." "There's so much to do around here." "There's the whole ocean right there." "Take my bicycle." "Ride along the boardwalk." "Then you won't have time for TV." "So you want me to sacrifice reality TV for purely empirical experiences?" "Yeah, that's my recommendation." "Fine." "They say that drowning and freezing to death are the nicest ways to die, euphoric even." "I wonder how they would know that." "The way I see it, what does experience have to do with anything?" "I mean, I've been served by 1000 waitresses and the job just doesn't seem that tough." "I'm sure it has its nuances just like anything else, but I'll figure it out." "You're soaking wet." "Oh, come on, Lou." "I'd say the wet T-shirt look definitely trumps experience." "Does he have all of his shots?" "Let me get you an application." "What the hell for?" "It's a yes or no decision." "Not really." "It's" "Hey, Lou, give her the job." "You're gonna give it to her anyway." "Zip it, Julie." "See, this is how it works- you ask him something;" "he pretends to chew on it." "He can't say no to nobody, so you got the job." "Don't worry about it." "I don't need your help." "I ain't trying to help you." "Hell, I don't even know you." "I'm trying to help my boy." "One more night that he's shorthanded- he's gonna develop an ulcer and it's gonna be problematic for all of us." "Get back to the dungeon." "I'm just saying, man." "I'm just saying." "I can start tomorrow." "Would you like me here at 4:00?" "Um..." "Or how about lunch?" "Then I can learn everything." "It'll be all good." "Uh..." "Great." "See you then." "Hey, that girl's trouble." "I think I just hired her." "Oh my God, you guys are still awake?" "You do realize it's past 9:00, right?" "You realize that you missed dinner?" "What happened to my dress?" "Oh, I went swimming." "New York doesn't use that ocean as a toilet, do they?" "Is my hair starting to turn green?" "Greta, I really don't mind you wearing my dress." "I do mind you going swimming in it." "Would you take it off, please?" "Greta, your mother called." "You were supposed to let her know you got down here all right." "Well, did you tell her that I was still alive?" "Why don't you tell her?" "There's a phone on the piano." " Are you taking that?" " Yes, I am." " You're in deep trouble now." " Come on." " Gin." " Oh, no." "It's me." "What do you want?" "I see you survived the bus trip after all." "I'd rather have ferried across the River Styx." "Grams told me about your little to-die list." "You shouldn't scare her like that." "She doesn't know you well enough to understand." "How's my old room look?" "Does she still have her seashells everywhere?" "It's a shell hole, Mom." "Why are you doing this to me?" "You know why." "We've discussed this." "I am trying to save my marriage." "You would have better luck trying to save the polar ice caps, Mom." "Why is it that your marriage only works when I'm not there?" "Sweetie," "Greta, I know this is tough, but try to make the best of it." "Take as much time as you need, okay, Karen?" "Sort things out, shuffle them together, do whatever the hell it is you need to do to try and save this marriage, okay?" "I'm here and I'm fine." "Don't even worry about me." "I'm fine!" "If Dad were alive, he'd let me drive the car." "And we'd do stuff like paint." "Maybe I'd be friends with the kid down the street." "Mom and he would argue about petunias instead of money." "If Dad were alive, he'd teach me how to play the guitar." "If Dad were alive." "If Dad were alive." "No, I ordered the High Tide." "The Red Squall is mine." "You expect me to remember what you ordered?" "Figure it out yourselves." "You guys have had plenty of time to look over this lousy menu." "So what's it gonna be?" "Is everybody ready?" " No." " I think we need another minute." "If I walk away from this table without an order," "I'm not coming back for another 20 minutes." "I hope by then you've got it figured out." "I know what I want." "Yeah?" "Well, I see who the decision-maker is here." "What will it be?" "I will have the chicken breast." "What the hell is wrong with you?" "You come to a seafood restaurant and order chicken?" "Well, the other stuff is expensive." "That's because it tastes good." "Come on, Stacy, order the lobster." "You can even pick it out if you're feeling particularly sadistic." "Do you like shrimp?" "We have a spectacular shrimp cocktail, if you don't mind ripping apart their freaky exoskeletons." "They have a lot of cholesterol, don't they?" "Not half as much as the lobster." "Oh my God." "Listen, you could die on a car ride home tonight, and you're worried about a little bypass surgery" "20 years down the road?" "Relax." "You're gonna get the shrimp cocktail and the poached lobster." "Who's next?" "Not bad for a kid learning the ropes." "Welcome aboard, Greta." "Thanks." "Hey, that seafaring lingo that you do- you don't do that all the time, right?" "Yeah, I want to see a collar from now on." "This is a respectable place." "Aye aye, Captain." "Oh my God." "Hey, you got a car?" "Seeing as I don't have a license, no." "Yeah, well, why don't you stick around a little while?" "And I will get you home safely." "Uh, thanks, Voltaire, but I can take care of myself all right?" "Anyway, I'm only 17." "What, are you, like, 40?" "Hey, Lou, what's a Voltaire?" "Does Lou know that you're feeding his food to the strays?" "It's just garbage." "Lou know that you think his food is garbage?" "No, I mean it's going in the garbage." "It's just a joke." "Hold on." "My name's Julie." "I'm Greta, which is just a thinly disguised anagram for "great."" "Okay." "You didn't thank me for getting you hired." "That's 'cause I already hate the job." "It's only been one day." "What's up, little girl?" " Check this out." " Yeah, look at that." "Hey, slice, like at you." "Baby, can I walk with you?" "No." "Oh, she cold." "Yeah, that's right." "What are you looking at?" "What did I say?" "What did I just say?" "I'm not giving it to you no matter what." "Parnelli." "Where are you?" "Parnelli, time to come in." "Parnelli." "Thanks for the ride." " Stay out of trouble, sweetheart." " Yeah." "Grams, don't worry." "They're trumped up charges." "Jury's got nothing on me." "What?" "We found her over in Asbury Park." "She got a little scared, so we brought her home." "Oh." "Oh, thank you." "What happened?" "Come right in, Grams." "Don't bother waiting for an invitation." "Now you see why I told you to stay away from Asbury Park." "Well, you piqued my curiosity, okay?" "Oh, I see." "It was all my fault." "If you don't want me to do something, don't plant the idea in my head." "I'm just trying to protect you." "It's a little late." "I'm really tired, Grams." "Good night." "Good night." "Well, I admit she's a bit of a challenge, but" "Well, I admit she's a bit of a challenge, but" "What?" "A challenge." "I say she's a challenge." "A challenge?" "She's a pain in the butt." "Good morning." "Oh, love, it seems Greta is giving Mrs. Wocheski some difficulty." "There's no "seems" about it." "She is." "She said Mr. Poodles was just a mangy rodent and not a real dog at all." "And then she said he looks just like me." "Are you sure you heard her correctly?" "What?" "I said I'm sure she meant it in the sweetest possible way." "Oh, she's a menace, that girl." "You'd better keep a sharp eye out." "Well, we'll see to it that she apologizes." "Won't we, dear?" "Are you done?" "I wish." " Well, how much longer?" " Just a bit." "Excuse me, is that your van outside?" "Yes, ma'am." "I'm hooking it up right now." "Well, I didn't order any hooking up, so you just go ahead and unhook whatever it is you hooked." "Grams, I'm paying for this." "That's not the point." "You're gonna love this, okay?" "I don't want cable." "Look, I'm almost done here, so if you don't want this" "Grams, it's guaranteed to keep me out of trouble the whole summer." "And it's not costing you a thing." "We've got to send her home." "I can't do it." "I just can't take it anymore." "Oh, honey, so she wants the cable TV." "What's the harm in that?" "That's the point." "She does whatever she wants to do." "She has no boundaries." "Karen's always been too permissive with her." "Okay, that'll do it." "Finally." "This here is your remote." "What you do is" "Yeah, I got it, okay?" "Scram." "All right, just" "I just need a signature here." "Ma'am?" "Sir?" " I just need a signature." " Okay, I got it." " Hey." " I told Mrs. Wocheski that you would apologize for that smart-alecky remark you made about her dog." "Now please go do it." "I can't believe you would sell out your own granddaughter to that old blue-hair." "It's not even blue in a good way." "Go." "Now." "We thought we heard someone at the door." "You ratted me out to my grandparents." "I most certainly did." "And I believe you owe me an apology." "You know," "I noticed you keep those windows pretty much open all the time." "Of course I do." "The breeze is healthy." "Yeah?" "What time do you go to bed around usually, 7:30, 8:00-ish?" "What are you getting at?" "You don't scare me." "Mm-hmm." "You don't scare me." "Give me just one second here." "Uh, okay." "How's the perch?" "How should I know?" "I'm sorry?" "It's perch." "I'm sure it's fresh." "I'm sure it tastes how perch usually does." "I can't afford to eat here, so how should I know?" "There's no need to be rude." "Table 12." "Can I get a side of horseradish?" "What's the perch taste like?" "What?" "The perch- how is it?" "It's all right, but the catfish is the business." "Yeah?" "What's that taste like?" "Are you telling me you've never tried fish before?" "Yeah, I have." "Okay, I'm not talking out of the box or the can." "What kind of wonk has never tasted fish before?" "Okay, maybe not." "Come around here." "I'm gonna show you what it tastes like." "Come on." "Okay, now this right here is perch, all right?" "Now hold on." "Stay here." "Now this is catfish," "Cajun blackened, okay?" "Okay." "It's my favorite." "Mm." "You made that?" "Yeah." "Well, that is surprisingly edible." "Well, I'm glad you like it." "Hey, Julie." "I need another special." "You don't want the perch." "What's this?" "Catfish." "But I wanted the perch." "No, trust me, you want the catfish." "The perch is all right, the catfish is the business." "You know, it's really gonna be really hard for you to ride that bike with my foot shoved up your ass." "Wow." "Oh, it's you." "I thought you were these guys from the other night." " You ever let it down?" " What?" "Your force field." "You know, you walk around all up in your own shit like you ain't got no time for nobody else's goodness." "How does somebody get close enough to give you what you need?" "I don't need anything." "Everybody needs something." "As of right now, seems like you might need a ride." "On that?" "Yeah." "I don't think two bodies can fit on that." "What, is it, like, your little brother's bike?" "Okay, let me tell you something about this right here." "This is a masterpiece of engineering." "This is the product of my love and sweat." "And it can and will prove you wrong." "But as of right now," "I don't think I even want to let you on this thing." "I mean, unless- and I mean, only if you promise to be sweet." "Promise." "Are you always that sensitive?" "I mean, didn't your mama breastfeed you?" "Okay, that would be classified as sour in my kitchen." "But I'm gonna pretend that didn't happen." "Okay?" "Come on." "Now you promise to be sweet, right?" "Yeah." "I promise." " Hey, baby." " Hey, what's up?" "Forget you." "She must have been pretty." "Who?" "RS." "RS was a he." "No, not like that." "He was a good friend of mine." "Does he have your initials tattooed on his wrist?" "No." "Why not?" "'Cause I'm not dead." "Is this what you guys do for fun around here?" "I kind of try not to have fun." "I try to stay working." "I got this great talent for finding trouble and getting all up in it, so I stay busy." "You want to be a chef?" "Yeah, I want my own restaurant." "Where did you learn how to cook anyway, home ec?" "No, prison." "You lie." "No, for real." "I was at juvie." "I was younger then." "What were you in for?" "Joyriding." "You're full of it." "I mean, it's not something I'm trying to brag about." "I'm not proud of it." "Stealing cars, huh?" "That's joyriding." "But I'm not into that anymore." "So the correctional system totally corrected you." "Let me tell you something- it's a miracle that I'm even on the outside." "Where I'm at- I did that, you know." "So if I go back- I did that too." "That's cool." "Yeah." "But you'd still steal me a BMW, right?" "For you- anything." "I got you." "I just don't know why you don't like my BMX." "It's the sickest right here." "Why do I say the things I do?" "They just come out totally wrong." "Sometimes I just wish I wouldn't say anything at all." "I like him." "... hundreds of others." "Handcuffed me, beat me, denied me food and water." "Palden Gyatso endured 33 years of torture in Chinese prison camps." "Uh, come on." "We found a show" "I'd like to watch." "Let's watch it." "Morning, ladies." " Hi, love." " Hey, Gramps." "You want to go down to the marina with me today, help me work on my boat?" "I can't, sorry." "I'm gonna hook up with my friend Julie." "Julie?" "You're making new friends already." "Why don't you invite Julie to lunch?" "Okay." "That's a good idea." "Good morning, ma'am." "We're not interested." "Is Greta here?" "Hey." "Grams, this is Julie." "How do you do, ma'am?" "Everything looks really great." "Thank you." "Julie knows food." "He's a chef." "Really?" "No, I'm just a line cook," "I hope to own my own restaurant one day." "Why don't you tell them where you learned how to cook?" "He learned in prison." "He got busted for stealing cars." "Something the matter, Grams?" "So that would make you an ex-con?" "Yeah, but I'm not that guy anymore, so..." "I'm sure." "I understand that a little prison time totally transforms everyone." "Yeah, well, that's just it, you know." "All the kids that were in the juvenile detention center with me had been in and out of there a dozen times." "Seeing that helped me realize you get out the same way you get in- on your own." "And so I straightened myself out." "Well, good for you." "Of course, it would have been better if you hadn't gotten in in the first place." "You're absolutely right, ma'am." "Is there celery in this potato salad?" "Mm-hmm." "With a little bit of sweet relish?" "Yes, there is." "I thought Mom made the best potato salad." "I think this got that beat." "It's my mother's recipe." "You mind if I steal it?" "Oh, I thought you had given up stealing." "Julie!" "Julie, wait." "That was bullshit, you know that?" "How are you gonna put my business out there" " just to you could scare her?" " It was a joke." "Okay, well, you know what?" "I don't like being the punchline of your joke." "What's with you anyway?" "Why are you like this?" "You didn't think twice about leaving me out to dry just so you can school her." "And you know what bothers me even more than you playing me right now?" "You're staring me with those big, sexy eyes and, you know" "You want to kiss me." "Hell yeah, I want to kiss you." "Yeah." "You know I'm still mad at you, right?" " Really?" " Yeah." "What's this?" "Oh, hey, give me that." " Let me see." " It's nothing." " What is it?" " Julie, give it back." " Wait, what is that?" " Julie, seriously." ""Learn how to ride a unicycle."" "God damn it." "Come on." ""Become fluent in the African clicking language." "Create the first gummy museum."" " Seriously, can you give it back to me?" " What the hell is this?" "It's just a to-do list, okay?" "You want to do all this stuff?" ""Lose all my virginity."" " Screw you." "Stop." " It's getting too good right now." ""To die." Oh, man." ""Get pureed in a jet engine." "Get run over by a back-up." "Skydive nude with no parachute."" "You want to do all this stuff too?" "You can't do all this stuff." "Jerk, stop laughing at me." "The one serious thing in my life, and you're laughing." "Greta, you want to kill somebody?" "Just myself, okay?" "Don't worry about it." "You need to stop talking shit." "I'm not." "I'm not talking shit." "I'm not." "So why do you want to kill yourself?" "That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard all day today, and today has been straight up retarded." "You know what I think's retarded?" "Wanting to own a restaurant." "Look, I've got one more year of high school left, and then what?" "Be like my mother, desperate for companionship?" "Or my grandparents?" "They're afraid of their own shadow." "They're prisoners in their own little world." "So you get 16 years of having a good time and then 60 running away from death?" "Not me." "I'm gonna quit while I'm ahead." "You have an extremely extremely cynical look on life." "But you're so lucky." "And you're such a privileged person, you know?" "You should appreciate what you got good." "That's what I'm doing." "I'm trying to appreciate what I have good right now." "Hello." "Oh my God." "Oh my God." "Do you think it's a literary reference or what?" " Have you ever heard of that?" " No." "You guys look bright-eyed and bushy-tailed." "All right, just don't." "Don't even." "You want some tea?" " No, thanks." " Thank you." " How is that?" " It's still hot." "I'll say." "Greta, didn't anybody ever teach you not to barge into people's rooms without knocking?" "Well, I'm sorry." "I didn't realize that you guys still do that." "Well, that's a very conventional point of view, isn't it?" "Looks like another hot one today, another hot and sweaty one." "That's funny." "I feel perfectly cool." "I know that you guys were a little preoccupied last night, but I came home on time." "Congratulations." "Of course, you could have told us it was your day off." "Well, you could have let me know it was your day to get off." "Oh, Greta, you just don't stop, do you?" "You just have to push it as far as you can." "Well, I may not know much, kiddo, but I know when it's time to get out of Dodge." "So where's that old hunk of junk you've been working on?" "You're looking at her." "No way." "Yeah, uh-huh." "That's pretty pimp." "What happened?" "You know, a little elbow grease, a lot of love, a lot of patience." "I think it's gonna be worth the effort, though, when your grandma sees it." "It's so dope, definitely the best-looking boat on the marina." "Thanks." "Didn't you just have breakfast?" "Yeah." "Where are we going?" "We're not going anywhere today." "I've got a lot of work to do on this engine." "Fine by me." "I get seasick watching "Gilligan's Island."" "Greta, can I talk to you for a minute?" "Thanks to the Bill of Rights." "This morning your grandmother found a pill in the toilet bowl, a little white pill just stuck there." "And?" "You want to tell me what that's all about?" "I haven't spoken to your mother about it yet, but I think I'm gonna have to." "What do you think it is" " Ex?" "What?" "It's Lexapro." "It's an SSRI, which means that it's" "I forget what it means, but it's supposed to make me normal and boring." "Dr. Glickman put me on it after I set Edgar's briefcase on fire." "What was it doing in the toilet?" "I stopped taking it months ago." "I don't feel right when I'm on it, you know." "And plus, they say, "Just say no,"" "and then they turn around and write you a prescription for some mood-altering drug." "It's so stupid." "Yeah, but if he prescribed it, maybe you should be taking it." "The only reason he even wrote the scrip is because Mom saw an ad somewhere and he does everything that Mom tells him." "Your mother is just trying to do what she thinks is best for you." "You know, she loves you." " No, she doesn't." " Yes, she does." "Then why am I here?" "She doesn't know what do with you, Greta." "You know what?" "If the house was on fire and she could choose to save me or Edgar," "I think that she'd choose Edgar." "I really think that." "Hey, Greta, table 9 wants you." "Hey, remember us?" "Yeah." "What do you want?" "Well, we don't know." "We thought maybe you could help us decide." "We had a really good time last time." "Yeah?" "What am I, a goddamn sideshow?" "What the hell do you want?" "Excuse me." "Greta, could I see you?" "Thank you." "Look, the attitude was cute for a while, but you gotta shape up." "Now I'm gonna put Donna on that table, so just take it easy, okay?" " Hey." " Hey." "Can we go to the beach later?" "Yeah, we can." "But you have to let go of me so I don't burn anything, okay?" "Can I get a refill?" "Do I look anything like your waitress?" "Sit down, Greta." "I'm not trying to pick on you, but you have to treat customers like what they are." "Thumbtacks in my ass?" "No, they're your employers." "They're my employers." "They pay our salaries." "All right." "Do you want to fire me?" "You're an unusual girl." "You have more confidence and self-assurance than any adult I know." "You can go very far in life." "Except you have this way of poking people in the eye with your words." "You know what, Lou?" "I really don't need this hassle tonight, okay?" "I'm being very kind here." "Well, save your charity for someone who wants it, okay?" "If you don't want me working here, then fire me." "Why don't you take tomorrow night off?" "Maybe I will." "I'll take tomorrow night off, and the next night after that, and the night after that, and after that, and after that, and then after that one..." " Greta, wait." " I quit." " Let me just talk to Lou." " Don't you dare." "I'm sick of wasting my time in this lousy dump." "It's not that bad, okay?" "I'm gonna go in there and I gotta mop." "It should take 10 minutes." "Stay." "No way." "You can meet me at my house later." "What about your grandmother?" "What about my lousy grandmother?" "All right." "Julie." "You told me to come over." " Come on up." " How am I supposed to get up there without waking up your grandparents?" "Come down here." "I can't." "I'm not dressed." "Climb up." "Hell no." "I ain't climbing up that." "I want to see you." "I want you to come up here." "Please please please please please." "Look what you got me doing." "Shh." "Be careful." " Hi." " You're gonna make me kill myself." "What's this?" "Well, you know, they are these balloon thingies" " and two people use them" " Yeah, I know what they are." "I didn't know what size to get, so I got Magnums." "We're not about to use this." "Yes, we are." "I mean, it's not gonna be that way." "We're not about to have sex." "What's wrong?" "There's nothing wrong." "That's the problem." "See, I really like you and I don't want to be one of those things you check off your to-do list." "You know, you can't control every damn thing that happens in your life." "Some things just gotta have their own rhythm, you know?" "You gotta go with that." "You know what I mean?" "So you don't think I'm gross or anything?" "No." "You're trouble for sure, yeah, 'cause you're hot and you're sexy and you're smart." " Why are cops here?" " Shit." "Julie." "Julie, wait." "Where are you going?" " I gotta go." " Julie." "I gotta get out of here." "What are you doing?" "Julie, Julie." "Hey, get out of there." "Come on, get down." "On the ground." "On the ground." "I didn't do anything." "Shit." "Come on, junior." "Get up, get up." "Just one second, man." "I didn't do nothing." " Wait wait, hold on, hold on." " Easy now." "Mrs. O'Donnell, you gotta tell them." "They made a mistake." "What's going on here?" "A neighbor spotted this individual climbing up your trellis, ma'am." " Ma'am, do you know this person?" " Yes, of course." "I thought you were through with stealing." "I wasn't stealing anything." "It's a mix-up." "They made a mistake." "Leave him alone." "Just one second, man." "I didn't do nothing." "Grams, tell them to stop, please." "He's gonna be in so much trouble." " What is he doing here?" " I invited him here." " To do what exactly?" " What's going on here?" "Gramps, please make them stop." "Okay, that's it." "I've had it." "I'm calling your mother right now." "You're insane." " Look, he didn't do anything." " No, back inside." "Katherine, don't get Karen all riled up." "Gramps, they're gonna take him in." " I've got to call her mother." " You have to go tell them." "He didn't do anything wrong." "I promise." " He crawled through my window." " Shut up, Grams." " Don't talk to her that way." " Please, it's not fair." "You're not helping things." "Now listen to me." "Go upstairs and let me deal with this." "I will take care of this." "Yes yes, right now." "I will take care of this." "I will deal with it." "Go on, go on." "Go on." "Oh, that girl- she is totally out of control." "I mean, just once she's got to learn that she can't have everything her own way." "She's your family, Katherine." "She's your flesh and blood." "She's not some enemy you have to defeat." "I apologize for all this, Mr. O'Donnell." "And I hope I didn't get Greta in too much trouble." "Thanks." "And I think you got it backwards." "I think she's the one who got you in trouble." "I like her, you know." "I really like Greta and she's worth it, but I'm worried about her, you know?" "Does she ever talk to you about-?" "She's got that little notebook she carries around." "Do you-?" "Greta ever say anything to you about her father?" "She doesn't talk too much about personal stuff, you know." "Well, it's something we don't talk about very much in this family either, but I think you've earned the right to know about it." "Greta's father killed himself." "She was just a little kid, five, six years old." "He took his shotgun and stuck it in his mouth." "She was there." "She walked in on him." "You know, I don't know how much of it she remembers, how much she carries around with her, but here she is, all grown up, and writing that list." "You know, it may be a phase she's going through." "It may be just some idea that she has to reckon with, but I think" "I think it's our job to try and help her through it." "Wow." "Yeah." "Well, go on home." "Get some sleep." "Thank you, sir." " Hey, Julie." " Yeah?" "Do you get seasick?" "Yeah, this is great." "I feel all preppy and shit." "Why are we here?" "Your grandfather's a good guy, you know." "This means a lot to him." "Come on, it's not that bad, though, right?" "Hey, remember that stuff that you said in my room the other night?" "Yeah, I remember." "Did you mean that?" "Have I lied to you yet?" "I don't know." "Hey, Julie, want to take the helm?" "Go ahead." "All right, I'm coming." "Just keep her in a straight line." "I love it." "It's wonderful." "Greta." "Greta." "There they are." "Greta." "I've got you." "I've got you." "Okay, right there, right there." "Are you all right?" "Yeah." "Are you okay?" " Are you okay, honey?" " My head." "You hit your head?" "Let me see it." "Turn it." "It's not bleeding." "Grams." "Grams." "Katherine, Katherine." "Are you all right?" " Grams." " I'm gonna get on the radio." "Grams, hey." "It was a mild heart attack." "She's okay." "She's gonna have to be on medication from now on, though." "But she's okay." "They want to keep her here tonight and run some more tests." "I'm gonna stay with her until she goes to sleep." "You two go on home, get out of this air conditioning." "Hey, here." "You're not gonna stay?" "No, you can check me off that list of yours." "I'm done." "What?" "What are you talking about?" "Are you serious?" "You really don't get it?" "Reggie Spiegel, my roommate in juvie." "One morning, Mother's Day..." "I found him hanging by an electric cord." "I didn't see it coming 'cause he didn't mouth off about it." "He didn't want to be saved." "See, you knew I'd jump in after you 'cause you didn't want to die." "You just wanted that drama." " No, I" " What you did was serious." "And it affects people." "It affects me." "But I'm not going overboard for you." "I got my own shit." "I'm doing my own thing." "You know?" ""April 10th, 1962." "My sweet sweet Joseph, you set sail less than an hour ago and I'm kicking myself already." "Please forgive me." "I only treated you that way because I was mad about you leaving." "I've been silly, prone to capriciousness." "I'm mad at myself for wasting our last moments together, for not telling you how I really feel." "I love you and I've missed my chance to tell you in person." "If something happens to you, I'll just die." "I miss you, Joseph." "Promise you'll come home safely." "Forever yours, Katherine."" "Grams." "Okay, close your eyes." "Can I trust you?" "Okay, this way." "Can I open my eyes yet?" "Mm, okay." "Oh, you didn't have to do that, Greta." "Those flowers are expensive." "Can't you see that I'm trying to say I'm sorry?" "Well, then say it." "I just did." "No." "You don't even know what you're sorry for." "I'm fighting to save my life and you're trying to throw yours away." "Now why is that?" "'Cause..." "I want to be like the girl in this picture, young and alive." "I haven't seen this picture since" "I wasn't any older than you there." "You look like a totally different person, so happy." "Don't you miss that?" "Well, no." "You're telling me that you wouldn't jump at the chance if you could turn the clock back?" "No." "I wouldn't." "You see..." "I was a different person then." "I didn't know anything about the world or myself." "I had no perspective." "This was a long time ago." "And every day since then, every experience I've had, every person I've met has carved an impression on me." "You know, this girl, this child- she's just a fraction of what I've become- a wife, a mother, a grandmother- me." "Oh, honey, you have no idea what's ahead of you." "It's all such an incredible adventure." "Do you have a picture of my dad?" "I just want to know what he looks like." "You've never seen a picture of your father?" "No." "Sweetheart." "What are they doing here?" "Mom." "Hiya, all." "Are you okay?" "Shouldn't you be sitting down or something?" " I'm fine, dear." "Hello." " I'm so sorry." "What are you doing here?" "Gramps, what are they doing here?" "Greta, go inside and get your things." "I don't want to go home with you." "We're not taking you home, Greta." "Then why are you he-?" "You're gonna send me to that boot camp." "Go get your things, Greta." "Wait a minute." "What's this boot camp stuff?" "No, it's a special summer camp for kids like her, to straighten her out." "Gramps, why didn't you tell me that they were coming?" "I asked your grandfather not to say anything." "We didn't want you running off or something." " Greta." " Come on now." "Greta." "My mom is here." "She's gonna send me away to some boot camp place." "What am I gonna do?" "What can you do?" "There's got to be something." "I guess you could check the camp out, see what it's all about." "You think I'm screwed up and that place is gonna save me?" "Yeah, you're screwed up." "But that place can't fix you." "Only you can fix you." "If that's not what you want, it ain't gonna happen." "I'm really sorry." "Well, that's a start." " You smell like food." " Yeah." "Yeah." "Call me when you get it all figured out, okay?" "All right." "Have a nice walk?" "Did Mom leave?" "She's here now, so come on back." "You all finished with your little tantrum?" "What are you doing with my stuff?" "I packed your things." "You've wasted enough time already." "I don't want to go." "Please, please let me stay." "Your grandmother does not want you here." " That's not true." " That's what you told me last week." ""There's no winning with her," you said." "Did I say that?" "Well, that was then and this is now." "And if Greta wants to stay, I would quite like to have her." " I'm staying." " No, you're not." " Mom." " Shh." " Greta, let go." " Be careful there." "Be careful." "Mom." " Quiet down and give me the bag." " What's wrong with you?" " Greta, stop it." " What's going on?" " Mom, please." " Stop making a scene." " What are you doing?" " Edgar, I could use some help." " Be careful." "Don't hurt her." " Come on now." "What the hell is going on over there?" "All right, just stop." "Everybody just stop." "Greta, get up." "Please, Katherine, sit down." "I'm sick of all this." "I'm tired of all this screaming and yelling and fighting and the police on my porch in the middle of the night and my wife upset every 15 minutes." "I don't want to hear another word about this boot camp nonsense." "Dad, look, with all due respect, you really don't have any say here." "Oh, yes, I do." "I earned it when you dumped her on us this summer." "This kid needs love and understanding and patience." "Do you hear yourself?" "Where was the love and understanding when I needed it, when you let her run me out of the house because she didn't like my boyfriend?" "What?" "I never threw you out of this house." "I simply said you couldn't live here and do drugs." "You two have a lot of nerve bringing my parenting skills into question." "Stop it." "Mom, stop talking to them like that." "Okay, I will go to the stupid boot camp." " No, Greta, Greta." " Wait wait." " Greta's staying here." " Dad." " And so are you." " No, I'm not." "We're gonna make this right." "We're gonna fix it." "We're gonna get to know one another, this family of ours." "Dad, I have a job." "Well, you've got vacation time saved up, haven't you?" "Well, yeah, but that's for Bermuda in the fall." "Oh, you're taking your daughter to Bermuda in the fall, are you?" "No, just Edgar and I." "Uh-huh." "No, you cannot make Edgar spend his vacation here." "Edgar isn't invited." "This is between us and you and Greta." "And if Edgar really loves you, he can just do without you for a little while while you save your daughter's life." "When you put it like that, I have to say" " You're not gonna leave me here?" " Yeah." "You're leaving me here?" "Yeah, this is the best idea any of us have had." "You know, I think your dad is right." "This could be good for everyone." " Edgar." " See you in a couple of weeks." " Edgar." " You'll be fine, sweetheart." "Oh, this is grand." "Oh, this is gonna really be helpful." "Go on, you two, yuck it up." "I don't even have any clothes to wear." "Grandma's got some dresses you could wear." " Bye, all." " You two are exactly alike." "And you" "Here." "Here he is." "Oh, yeah, there he is." "He was handsome." "I dream about him sometimes, but he never looks the same." "You have his eyes." "Yeah?" "And his brains." "Well, I'll try to keep mine inside my skull." "I always loved that picture of you." "God." "Oh my God." "What happened to your hair, Mom?" "The 1980s." "It's huge." "Big hair." "Big hair." "Dear Mom," "I'll probably be home by the time you get this, but I don't care." "I just wanted to thank you for the time we had together and for letting me stay down here." "Oscar Wilde wrote," ""To lose one parent may be regarded as a misfortune." "To lose both looks like carelessness."" "I think he had a point." "It's not so bad here." "Really, it's not as bad as you'd think."