"In a land of myth and a time of magic, the destiny of a great kingdom rests on the shoulders of a young boy." "His name?" "Merlin." "Quick, my potion." "Lady Catrina is not all that she seems to be." "She's a troll." "She's not that bad!" "Trolls are greedy, and Lady Catrina's like the rest of her kind." "She lusts after wealth and power." "Uther's wealth and power." "(GRUFF VOICE) There's more than one way to enchant a man." "I want you to have it." "I shall wear it always." "You may possess some magic, wretch, but you are no match for me." "I now pronounce you to be husband and wife." "You look positively foul." "Mm." "Does the enchantment hold?" "(GRUFF VOICE) It works a treat." "Uther is like a puppet on a string." "CHUCKLES" "What about the boy, Merlin?" "He knows your secret." "Leave him to me." "EVIL CHUCKLING" "My Lord." "Darling." "We are alone at last." "Oh!" "What's wrong?" "I'm sorry." "It's not you." "I want this more than anything." "This has been the happiest day of my life." "Then what is it?" "When I was forced to flee my home, the one thing I was able to take with me was my family seal." "You showed it to me when you first arrived." "It's the only surviving link I have to my father." "And now it's gone." "Stolen from my chambers." "Who could have done such a thing?" "Oh, no, please." "I don't want to cause any trouble." "Not on a day that should be filled with such joy." "Catrina." "Who took your seal?" "It was Arthur's servant." "Merlin." "Search the stables." "You, check the kitchens." "Alert the guard on the south gate." "What's in there?" "This way." "Hurry up." "Where's Merlin?" "Where he always is at this time - working for Arthur." "What's this about?" "We've come to arrest him, by order of the King." "You need to get out of here." "The King's ordered me to arrest you." "What?" "Catrina's accused you of taking her seal." "But I didn't." "I don't want to know and you haven't got time to explain." "If you value your life, you'll leave Camelot right now." "But..." "She is a troll." "She's trying to set me up." "We've been through this." "I'm telling the truth." "I saw her." "KNOCK AT DOOR" "I don't care." "You need to leave, Merlin." "KNOCK AT DOOR MAN:" "Sire?" "Go." "Go!" "I fear he may have slipped through our net." "You're very quick to give up the chase." "That is because I know my quarry is long gone." "How can you be so certain?" "Well, despite appearances," "Merlin isn't stupid." "He must have got wind that we were looking for him and left." "Outwitting your army in the process." "It appears so." "I thought your men aspired to the same high standards that my father instilled in you." "When I led the army, they did." "We don't even know if he's still in Camelot." "He could be anywhere." "And that's a good enough reason to give up?" "No, I'm not." "It's just that I believe our resources would..." "I've heard enough of your excuses." "We both have." "I want the boy found." "Sire." "My Lady." "My plan to undermine Arthur is under way." "Soon Uther will detest the sight of his own son." "LAUGHS" "SNIFFS" "What's that, then?" "What is that smell?" "A treat." "GASPS" "CHORTLES WITH GLEE" "To celebrate." "Fresh from the stables." "INHALES DEEPLY" "Oh, Jonas, you do know how to treat a lady." "SHRILL WHISTLE" "HORSE NEIGHS" "Alert the rest of the guard." "Come with me." "They've found Merlin's trail." "They say he's heading for the Northern Borders." "I'm sure he'll outrun them." "What if he can't?" "Uther won't show him any mercy." "Try not to worry, Gwen." "That was comfortable(!" ")" "A necessary evil, I'm afraid." "They've picked up the trail that we left, but it won't fool them for long." "Then I'd better get busy." "And Merlin..." "Be careful." "The guards are still searching for you." "DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES" "GRUNTING" "Mistress, it is time." "SHE GRUNTS" "Do I have to?" "You must keep up the pretence." "I hate being like this." "So clean." "It's revolting." "I can't keep it up." "This skin, this face." "I just want to claw it off." "Think of all the money and the power." "Soon it will all be yours." "DOOR CLATTERS OPEN AND SHUT" "There is something important that I we wish you to address." "For too long, the people have had it easy." "They've grown fat off our indulgence of them." "How so?" "We provide peace, protection, food." "They give us very little in return." "Most of our people are poor." "They survive on the few crops they're able to grow." "That is what they would have us believe." "It's what I see every day." "We're introducing a new tax." "The people must pay for the sanctuary that Camelot provides." "You can't." "The majority are barely able to get by as it is." "Those who refuse to pay it will be arrested and publicly flogged." "We've lived this way for years." "You've never suggested anything like this before." "Maybe not to you, but the King confided in me that he has been considering this for some time, haven't you?" "Yes, I have." "You are to begin the collections at once." "SNORING" "Tospringe." "SPLUTTERS" "MUMBLES" "SNORES" "I saw her drink some of this potion and a patch of troll skin on her arm disappeared." "It must be pretty powerful magic to physically change her like that." "Could you make a potion that looks and tastes the same as this?" "I don't know." "Yes, I suppose so." "But without the troll magic, it wouldn't have the same effect." "Exactly." "If I can replace this potion with one that isn't magical..." "Ah." "So Catrina will keep taking it, but it will no longer work." "And she'll turn into a troll." "Think you can do it?" "I don't know." "We have to make the switch before morning or Jonas will notice." "Then it's going to be a long night." "My Lady." "My Liege." "I brought you flowers." "Picked from the royal garden." "Oh." "They're..." "They're lovely." "Not as lovely as you." "Oh!" "Atchoo!" "Are you all right?" "No." "I'm sorry." "I don't think I can keep this up any longer." "Keep what up?" "The lie." "I can't keep pretending like this." "I'm beginning to wonder if you're really the man I thought you were, the man I fell in love with." "The man I married was firm, strong, in both mind and body." "Trust me, I am all of that, and more." "I fear for Camelot." "Arthur has not taken after his father." "He is too weak to make the hard decisions." "Then it's lucky I'm in such rude health." "Lucky indeed." "But what if some tragedy were to befall you?" "Let me worry about Arthur." "No, I can't." "Your love for him has made you blind to his faults." "I judge Arthur the same as the rest of my men." "If he excels he is rewarded." "If he fails, he is punished." "Well... as long as you're sure of that." "I am." "Now let me take your mind off this." "I promise our first night as husband and wife will be one to remember." "BREAKS WIND" "SNIFFS" "DOOR OPENS" "MERLIN:" "What's in it?" "Nothing too potent." "Rat's guts." "Nice." "Toad paste." "You take two toads, grind them up..." "I get the picture." "Horse dung, crushed sheep's eyeball." "Oh, lovely(!" ")" "Pond scum, three wolf spiders, and what potion isn't complete without a dash of sheep's brain?" "Sounds... delicious." "Good." "Because you're going to taste it." "No way." "It's completely harmless." "Er, no!" "MERLIN TUTS" "SPLUTTERS AND COUGHS" "Urgh!" "COUGHS" "Ah!" "That is..." "Oh!" "That is disgusting." "Yes." "To you, but not to a troll." "I can't even believe you let me put that in my mouth." "Yes." "Now... try the original." "Just a small amount, and be sure to spit it out." "COUGHS AND SPLUTTERS Does it taste roughly the same?" "Yes, it's horrible!" "You sure?" "Because if there's too big a difference, Catrina will notice." "It tastes exactly the same." "Well, let's hope she thinks so too." "Tospringe." "DOOR OPENS" "FOOTSTEPS APPROACH" "Fyrbendum faest!" "LOCK CLICKS" "MAN GRUNTS IN PAIN" "What do you think you're doing?" "He's refusing to pay the King's tax." "You..." "You..." "You ask for too much." "I've given all I can." "It's not enough." "Let me see." "Release him." "The King said..." "Release him!" "Give them back their money." "All of it." "I gave you a direct order." "The people cannot afford to pay the tax." "Don't tell me you're naive enough to take them at their word?" "We have their loyalty, their goodwill." "Do not forsake that by making unreasonable demands." "Is it so unreasonable for a king to expect his subjects to obey him?" "They'll starve." "Nonsense." "You've grown too soft." "Remember, these are your subjects, not your friends." "Why can't they be both?" "Because we rule the people, not the other way round." "I think you're wrong." "I beg your pardon?" "I said you're wrong." "Without the people, there is no Camelot." "We're as much their servant as they are ours." "You allow him to address you in this manner?" "No, I do not." "It will not be tolerated." "You will take your men down into the town, and go to every house collecting the payments I demand!" "I will not." "Get out of my sight." "How can he do this to me?" "My own son!" "After all the sacrifices I've made for him." "Oh, you're tense." "Is it any surprise?" "The lack of respect he shows... me!" "BONE CRACKS Oh, I'm sorry." "Did that hurt?" "!" "No, of course not." "Your hands are surprisingly strong for one so delicate." "Arthur carries a heavy burden." "It can't be easy holding all that responsibility at such a tender age." "I'm afraid that's the way it has to be." "After all, I cannot rule Camelot alone." "You don't have to." "You married me, remember?" "UTHER GASPS IN PAIN" "How could I forget?" "I'm sorry, I can't." "I'm too worried about you." "With Arthur letting you down the way he has." "How will you cope?" "Like you said, you can't rule Camelot alone." "I have you by my side." "Oh!" "I may be your Queen, but I have no power." "Why not?" "Well, the people wouldn't respect me as they do Arthur." "I'm not heir to the throne." "Would it put your mind at rest if you were?" "Oh, it would." "It most definitely would." "Then you shall be." "The ceremony will take place this afternoon." "DOOR OPENS" "(GRUFF VOICE) Jonas, it's time for my potion." "Are your plans progressing as you'd hoped?" "Yes, and not a moment too soon." "I must admit, though, that crown will look rather fetching." "All that gold and them lovely jewels." "LADY CATRINA'S VOICE:" "Now, would you care to accompany your Queen?" "KNOCK AT DOOR" "Come in." "Guinevere." "I saw what you did earlier." "The people owe you a debt of gratitude." "The people owe me nothing." "My father is still going to impose the tax." "Will he not be persuaded?" "Not by me." "He can't stand the sight of me." "That's not true." "The King loves you." "You should have heard the way he spoke to me." "I'm sure he was angry but you're still his son." "Everyone appreciates what you did." "They know you tried and they won't forget that." "Maybe he's right." "One day I will be the King of Camelot." "I cannot be a friend to the people as well as their ruler." "That's not true and you'll prove it when you become King." "You've a kind heart, Arthur." "Don't ever change." "Not for anyone." "KNOCK AT DOOR" "The King has sent for you." "Father." "I'm relaxing your duties, revoking your title." "What?" "We live in dangerous times." "I cannot allow you to undermine my authority." "You've always welcomed my counsel in the past." "You stood against me for all the people to see." "I'm sorry." "Any future grievance I have will be held in private." "It's too late for that." "Father, this is..." "You are to be disinherited with immediate effect." "You are no longer Crown Prince of Camelot." "Sire, Arthur is your son, you natural heir." "Gaius!" "You've always taught me to be true to my heart and that's all I've ever tried to do." "To be the man you wanted me to be, someone you were proud to call your son." "My decision is final." "Queen Catrina will be named as rightful heir to the throne." "The ceremony will begin forthwith." "We've done it." "Catrina's drank the fake potion." "What's wrong?" "What's happened?" "Uther has disinherited Arthur..." "and made Catrina his heir." "So if Uther dies, she will rule Camelot." "We are gathered here to bear witness to the naming of Queen Catrina as the rightful heir to Camelot." "Are you willing to take the oath?" "I am." "Do you solemnly swear to govern the people of Camelot, to uphold the laws and customs of the land?" "I... do." "Will you, to your power, cause Law and Justice in Mercy, to be executed in all your judgements?" "I will." "Will you, to the utmost of your powers maintain the laws...?" "Yes, yes." "I'm sorry, you must let me finish." "The wording must be exactly right to be binding." "Well, get on with it then!" "I mean really, where did you dig up this old crone from?" "She's right, get on with it." "Will you, to the utmost of your powers..." "Yes, yes, yes." "...maintain the laws and customs..." "I will, I will." "...of the land and serve the people of Camelot?" "Yes!" "Just shut up and give me the crown!" "HUSHED GASPS" "Will you just hurry up!" "Catrina!" "Catrina!" "Catrina!" "COUGHING" "Whatever's the matter?" "I'm sorry." "I don't know what came over me." "I just suddenly felt so hot." "D'you know, I think need to be on my own." "I..." "Are you all right?" "Yes, yes, I'm fine." "Really." "Thank you." "I just..." "Fyrbendum faest!" "Come on!" "Come on!" "TROLL'S VOICE:" "Open!" "Let me." "RATTLING" "What's that!" "?" "GASPING" "What's happening?" "Somebody help her!" "GROANING" "BREAKING WIND" "You're a troll!" "How dare you speak about her like that?" "What is wrong with you?" "Look at the state of her!" "I don't believe it." "SNARLING" "She just ripped a door off its hinges - doesn't that tell you something?" "Enough!" "She's a troll!" "A giant, grey..." "Stinking... stinking troll." "Stop it!" "Haven't you hurt her feelings enough?" "Insult my wife again, it'll be the last thing you ever do." "I'm so sorry that you had to hear those terrible things." "He's just taking time to adjust." "He'll soon get used to having his stepmother around." "How could he compare such beauty with a troll?" "Search me." "I washed my face and everything." "What is it?" "It's just your scent - it's so fragrant." "Oh, well, it's, er..." "It's mostly... dung." "And such a sense of humour, too." "I was so blessed it was my castle you came to - that I may look upon this vision every day." "SQUELCHING" "Well, beauty is in the eye of the beholder." "And I shall behold it." "Oh...!" "Oh!" "I wasn't aware we were due to convene the council." "What's this about?" "Come on." "Someone speak up." "I'm afraid it's your wife, Sire." "Yes." "What about her?" "It's a rather delicate matter, Sire." "Gaius, you've been my trusted adviser for many years." "You can speak as you will." "I don't suppose it's escaped your notice, Sire, but we just... just wanted to make absolutely certain." "You do realise your wife is a troll, Sire?" "I beg your pardon." "At least that's the way she looks to us, what with the... warts, and the... nose..." "And the smell." "Smell?" "!" "What...?" "She also has what appears to be... a set of fangs." "What?" "!" "I wouldn't really say they were fangs - more like tusks." "Yes, they are more like tusks." "Not that we're saying that that's necessarily a bad thing." "I just thought I ought to point it out to you, in case it had passed you by." "The next person to insult Queen Catrina will be charged with treason and beheaded according to the laws of the land." "Uther must be enchanted - it's the only explanation." "Which is why we have to find a way to break it." "You won't find anything in your magic books." "Troll enchantments are too strong." "Then what are we going to do?" "You must speak to the Dragon." "If there's a way to break Catrina's hold on Uther, he will know it." "But be careful." "Dragons and trolls have been close allies in the past." "GOBBLING" "Is everything to your satisfaction?" "Er, no." "This thing's got to go for a start." "It's made for midgets!" "Too hard, too clean!" "Not my taste at all." "What can I get you instead?" "Ah..." "I was walking through the grounds this morning and I couldn't help but notice that your stables have just been mucked out." "It seems such a waste to throw away all that lovely dung." "DRAGON LAUGHS" "This isn't funny." "Oh, it is!" "It is!" "The thought of Uther marrying a troll!" "Was it a very public affair?" "Public enough." "DRAGON LAUGHS Don't laugh." "If she can't be stopped, Arthur won't become King." "Albion will never be born." "I'm sorry." "You are right, of course." "How can we break the enchantment?" "These are not trifling tricks - troll magic is very powerful." "There has to be a way." "The only way you could break this enchantment is if Uther were to cry tears of true remorse." "How do we make him do that?" "That I can't answer." "Uther's heart is cold as stone." "He's never been sorry for anything." "Thanks." "I think." "Young warlock!" "It was some time ago you promised to set me free." "The help I give is not unconditional." "NOISY GOBBLING" "That is for you." "Now, tell them about our plan, beloved." "Plan..." "We are introducing further taxes." "Sire, we can't." "The people have given all they can." "You told me that before." "And yet our coffer is full." "QUEEN BREAKS WIND" "Your people are already going hungry." "Are you questioning my orders?" "It's just..." "If we take more, they'll starve." "(GROWLING)" "Who are you to tell me what's best for my people?" "You will collect more taxes or you will lose your head." "LAUGHING Lose your head!" "Lose your head!" "I understand Bayard of Mercia wishes to honour our marriage with a visit." "Yes, Sire." "Oh, good!" "Now, tell this Bayard we expect gifts." "Lots of lovely shiny gold." "I..." "I think at this time..." "BURPING ...it might be wise to..." "to respectfully decline his offer of a visit." "Whatever for?" "I'm still not sure that we can trust Bayard." "Nonsense he is a friend of Camelot." "You will send our reply." "It will be an honour to feast with him." "Honour." "The Dragon said he had to cry tears of true remorse to break the enchantment." "Well, that's not going to be easy." "Uther's heart is closed to everyone." "Not everyone." "Arthur." "Then there's only one course of action we can take." "Uther must see his son die." "MERLIN: (Arthur!" ")" "Arthur!" "Who's there?" "Merlin!" "Argh!" "You're back." "I never left." "You mean to say...?" "Yes." "You've been under there this whole time?" "No." "Course not." "No." "Because if you were..." "I wasn't, I swear." "So, your..." "Your stepmother is a troll, then." "If you say, "I told you so..." I wasn't going to." "I wouldn't." "But it's true that if you had listened to me earlier, then..." "Sorry." "Gaius and I believe your father's been enchanted." "Now we've found a way to break the spell, but... we need your help." "So your great plan is to kill me?" "No." "Well, yes..." "Not exactly." "It's..." "Gaius has made a potion that gives the appearance of death without the actual dying bit." "It's fine." "There's nothing to worry about." "It'll only bring you to the brink of death." "Oh, only to the brink(!" ")" "We haven't got a choice." "We have to make your father cry." "He doesn't care about me any more." "Nonsense." "That's Catrina's influence." "I've known your father for many, many years." "There's never been anyone or anything he's treasured more than you." "It's perfectly safe - a single drop of the antidote will reverse the effects immediately." "Antidote." "What antidote?" "You didn't say anything about an antidote." "Er, I..." "I didn't think it was important." "The potion will lower your heart rate and breathing." "To all intents and purposes, you will be dead." "And the antidote reverses the effects?" "Yes." "If it's administered in time." "If it isn't?" "You will be dead." "You just said it wasn't important!" "Um, yeah." "I suppose it is a bit important." "Merlin will have the antidote." "Once I've administered the poison - er, the potion - he'll have half an hour to get it to you." "Don't be late." "Am I ever?" "Are you sure you want to go through with this?" "It's the only way to save Camelot." "Urgh." "Time to break the bad news to Uther." "My boy..." "HE GROANS" "It was my fault." "I pushed you away." "Oh, my son." "SHE SNORTS" "My son." "Come away, there's nothing you can do for him now." "I killed him." "I killed my only son." "Oh, no, no, no." "Nu meaht thu begalan!" "Nu meaht thu..." "Catrina?" "!" "Uh..." "What kind of trickery is this?" "SHE SNARLS" "How I've suffered these last weeks." "Allowing you to touch me, having to share a bed with you." "Oh..." "It's repulsive." "I know the feeling." "Oh..." "I've been looking forward to this." "Guards!" "Seize... it!" "GUARDS GROAN" "TROLL GROWLS" "Argh!" "Is that any way to treat your dear old stepmother?" "Ugh!" "Fleoge hraegl!" "Oh..." "Ow!" "SHE BREAKS WIND" "Oh!" "SHE GROANS AND BREAKS WIND" "Ahem..." "I'd like to thank you for exposing this attack on our state." "Once again, magic was used to strike at the heart of Camelot." "You mean, your heart." "How many nights did you share a bed with a troll?" "Obviously, I was under its spell." "I did many things that I... regret." "But..." "Father, I really don't want to know the details." "ARTHUR LAUGHS HEARTILY" "Merlin!" "I want you to know that I never doubted you." "All right, maybe I did, but it's your own fault." "You've got a suspicious look about you." "Shifty." "Like you've got something to hide." "I'm an open book." "I don't believe that for a second." "However, I do know that without your help, I'd still have a troll for a stepmother." "Mmm..." "Mmm." "Well, thanks." "Whoa!" "What're you doing?" "I thought you were going for a hug." "No!" "No." "UTHER:" "It was sorcery you saw." "You're certain of it?" "Yes, Sire." "Send for the witchfinder." "Your once noble Camelot is rotten to the core." "Can you prove that it wasn't you?" "No." "My methods are infallible, my findings incontestable!" "Argh!" "The facts point to one person alone - the boy " "Merlin." "You're a liar!" "Arthur, you've got to stop this."