"Heaven and Earth will disappear, but my words remain forever." "But no one knows the date now when the end will be, not even the angels." "No, nor even God's son." "Only the Father knows." "The world will be at ease..." "banquets and parties and weddings, just as it was in Noah's time before the sudden coming of the flood." "People wouldn't believe what was going to happen until the flood actually arrived and took them all away." "So shall my coming be." "Two men will be working together in the fields and one will be taken, the other left." "Two women will be going about their household tasks." "One will be taken, the other left." "So be prepared, for you don't know what day your Lord is coming." "Morning." "You can talk." "It's okay." "You're much better at this than me." "Maybe you should be in charge." "You like Siegfried and Roy, the magic guys in Vegas?" "They did tricks with those beautiful tigers." "Every night, a tiger disappears and the tiger comes back." "They made calendars with those tigers." "They just laid right on top of them like they were carpets." "It's just a matter of time before one of those fuckers bites your face off." "Go, go, go!" "Let's go, get in." " Clear out!" " Hurry up, come on, go!" "Go, go!" "Hey, over here." "Come ahead." "That's it, keep moving." "Chief." "Yeah, go ahead." "Tough getting up there." "We're over 700 and it's not even lunchtime." "You want us to try and slow the flow?" "All are welcome, Dickie." "Copy that." "How you doing, Andy?" "Let's go." " Come on, keep moving." " That's it." " Go." " Keep it rolling." "Excuse me." "Officer, do we need to get wrist bands?" " No, ma'am, not anymore." " Is there somewhere we can park?" "Yeah." "There's a campground about a half a mile up the road." "Follow me." "Come on." "Come on." "Let's go." "Excuse me!" "In our town, okay?" "He's departed." "He's not..." "I don't care who it is, all right?" "There's a height ordinance." "Nothing above 15 feet." "You gotta take it down." "That dude on the pillar's over 15 feet, man!" "Whoa, whoa, whoa." "Hang on." "The guy on the pillar was grandfathered in." " Hey, Chief." " What's going on?" "These gentlemen don't seem to wanna deflate their little joke here." "All right, no, no." "It is not a joke, okay?" "Mr. Gary Busey's coming back from heaven on the 14th." "How is he gonna know where to land?" "All right." "Here's what I'm gonna do." "I'm gonna let you keep Gary up there, but you guys have to be my deputies." "You see anyone or anything that seems remotely dangerous, call me personally." "Nuts, man." "Fucking nuts!" "You never underestimate the spirit." "Yeah, man." " That was smart." " Yeah." "See what happens when you make people feel important?" "Should I be writing this down?" "Listen, we're already over our number." "We're a few bodies short down at the bridge." "You mind running down there till role call?" " No, not at all." " And we got dinner tonight. 6:00 sharp." " Don't forget." " 5:30 works a little better for me." " Well, 6:00 works better for me." " Okay." "6:00 it is." "You guys do remember it's my birthday today, right?" " Get to the bridge." " All right, Chief." "The king of Babylon had a dream, and that dream was terrifying." "So Daniel comes." "He cracks his knuckles." ""Okay, tell me what you've got."" ""I dreamed," says the king," ""of a great tree stretching all the way to the heavens."" "A tree that provides all things to all people," ""but then it was cut down, destroyed."" "Daniel nods. """ ""You know what it means?" asked the king." ""You are the tree," says Daniel." ""I am?" says the king." ""You are," answers Daniel." ""And you getting cut down isn't the worst part either,"" "because once you are down, you will lose your mind." "You will go mad, my king." "You will live amongst the wild animals and eat grass like an ox." ""Forever?" asked the king." ""No," says Daniel." ""Just for seven years."" ""Deuteronomy"... every seven years, you must cancel all debts." ""Genesis"... seven years of famine begat." ""Ezekiel"... they shall burn them with fire for seven years." "So, what will happen on October 14th just a couple of weeks from now?" "Probably nothing." "But if something were to happen, it would happen here in Jarden, Texas, in Miracle." "Because I get a feeling in this place sometimes, the same feeling I got when my wife awoke from a three-year coma the day I brought her here." "Mary." "The same feeling I had after being told by countless doctors that Mary could not bear a child." "But she bore one here." "Noah's a little shy like his dad." "My friends, I've got that feeling again, so if something does happen on October 14th... you've all come to the right place." " Amen to that." "Amen to that." " Hallelujah." "Hallelujah!" "I see a lot of new faces." "Welcome." "If you wanna be baptized here in Miracle, just come on down tomorrow morning." "We'll be at the spring on the east edge of town, which the good Lord has seen fit to replenish with water." "You watching porn?" "What?" "When people are watching porn, they shut..." "Never mind." "Forget it." "Okay." "You coming tonight?" "I told Tommy 6:00 sharp." " Hey there, Chief." " Hey." "What are you two talking about?" " Just Tom's party." " Yeah, can't wait." "I'm sorry about the church." "I know we're over capacity." "It's just so many people wanna come." "Yeah, well, then look." "Maybe you should, um, stop advertising." "What's that?" "The address for the church is right on it." "No one loves handing out flyers more than you do." "I swear I didn't do this." "You heard what I said in there." "No, I heard what you said in there, and you said nothing's gonna happen on the 14th unless everything happens on the 14th." "I can't afford to have this place explode again, all right?" "Just tone it down." "Of course." "You're right." "Will do." "Will do?" "If you're asking me to tone it down, Kevin," "I'll tone it down." "Good." "Good." "Good." "Good." "Did he see it?" "Okay, everybody." "Settle down." "Listen, we are two weeks out from the 14th, and currently our estimates are low." "We are looking now at an influx of anywhere from 5,000 to 10,000 pilgrims between then and now." "As of now, you're all approved for permanent OT, effective immediately." "Am I late?" "No, you're right on time." "Agent Nora Durst from the DSD is gonna tell us about procedures moving forward." "So, everybody, listen up." "Thanks, Chief." "Can you guys hear me okay?" " Yeah." " Okay, great." "So, I know we went over this a couple of months ago, but there's been some confusion." "So, let's talk about the "D" word." "Yes, I get it." "If a guy says his girlfriend vanished into thin air, there's a good chance she's decomposing in his trunk." "But as frustrating as it is to indulge the bullshit, there is a process in place that we all must go through." "If a suspect asks for a lawyer, you get a lawyer." "If a suspects says departure, you get me." "Cool?" "Got ya." "Dismissed, assholes." "Walk you out, Agent Durst?" "Absolutely, Chief Garvey." "Thank you." "Tommy knows." "Kevin, there's no such thing as a surprise party." " Then why the hell are we doing it?" " Because it's fun to pretend." "Hey, help me out." "Between the blades." "Yeah." "Ooh, higher." "I'm gonna miss this cast." "Yet you never asked to sign it." " Bye." " Bye." "Hey, Chief." "A guy just came in and says he needs to talk to you." "Is he Tinfoil Hat or a Kenneth?" "Neither." "Knows you from New York." "Says you guys were hunting buddies." "Christ, it's good to see you." "Good to see you, too." " Well, you remember me, right?" " Yeah." " Dean." " Of course." "Dean, yeah." "What can I do for you?" "You know, probably I..." "I should hold back on the details until I can provide you with unassailable proof, but if I'm being completely honest, it's... it's a little out there." "Sure." "I tried to keep you out of this, but I gotta regretfully inform you that our prey... previously unsophisticated and easily killable... has adapted." "So, Wyoming Senator Y. Woodrow Huffman... the incumbent, mind you... has a swanky fundraiser a week back." "Food's high-class, all right?" "Crab cakes, Cornish game hens." "But this motherfucker Huffman, he asks me for a peanut butter sandwich." "He asked you for..." "Yeah, I was undercover on the catering staff." "Well, the senator was a guest of honor, the man of the hour, so fucking A right, we got him his sandwich." "You know, peanut butter." "Man, they loved that shit." "And he's the only one who touched it, only one who bit it." "His saliva." "So, when you test it, you know that it's uncorrupted." "Test it for what?" "Canine DNA." "Now... now, I know what you're thinking." "All right?" "Why take on human form?" "What do they want, right?" "Today, it's the senator." "Tomorrow, it's the Secretary of, you know, goddamn Agriculture." "And then it's the president." "The leader of the free fucking world." "And that, my friend, is how the world ends two weeks from now." "That's how they get their finger on the button." "Paw." "Sorry?" "That's how they get their paw on the... the button." "So, you... you don't believe me." "What you're thinking is happening... isn't." "It's all in your head, man." "It's not real." "Look, Valdivia tells me you're staying down by the trailer park." "So tomorrow, I'm gonna come by... and we're gonna talk." "Just..." " All right, Chief, see you tomorrow." " I'll see you, Dean." "Perfect." "The Wet-Naps are over there." "So, what do you wanna know?" "Look, no offense, all right, but, my wife made me come here." "And I don't really believe in any of this shit." "Yeah." "Well, you already paid, so you might as well hear what I got, man." "So, what?" "You just... you look at my palm print?" "You talk to my dead father?" "Don't you think you should light some candles, you know?" "Maybe get out a Ouija board or something?" "Pat Benatar." "Now, how'd you know about that?" "Look, I can't talk to your dad, man." "It's more like turning a radio dial and seeing what you pick up." "But you ask the right questions, you usually get something back." "So, what do you wanna know?" "Why did he do it on my birthday?" "I'm sorry to interrupt." "I'm gonna grab something upstairs." " No problem." "I'll see you later, Kev." " Yeah." "All right." "All right." "Okay, now listen." "I know there's a part of you that's hoping that he didn't even know it was your birthday." "But there are some things you need to know about him first." "He believed himself to be a failure." " He believed himself to be a failure." " He..." " He failed his family." " He failed his family." "He failed at his job." "He failed at being the man that he wanted to be." "He was... he was sad." "He was always sad." "Didn't want anyone to know, especially his kids." "He hid it from..." "He hid it from Anne Marie and Billy and you." "I'm so sorry, but the truth is he was so broken that he didn't even know it was your birthday when he took his life." "He was only thinking about one thing... escaping." "So, that's what he did." " He escaped." " And that's what he did." " He escaped." " Okay." "You can hug him now." "They won't believe it unless it's harsh." "Jeez, now I know why I quit therapy." "What brings you by, Kev-o?" "We got a problem." "We gotta keep it between you and me." "Okay." "Apparently, dogs are taking on human form and they are infiltrating the highest levels of our government." "And... and where did you come by this information, Chief Garvey?" "A guy I used to know in Mapleton a few years back." "Maybe we shot some dogs together." "You were in the GR." "I was coping." "So, this is my fault?" "No, it's his fault 'cause he's fucking crazy." "Did you tell him he was crazy?" "Maybe." "You never tell someone who is experiencing a delusion of that magnitude that they are delusional." "You told me I was delusional when I told you I was talking to Patti." "And then you went and drank poison." "I'm better now." "Of course you are." "Just please talk to this guy?" "I'm worried about him." "You got it." " Hey, man." " How you doing, man?" "You and Nora need any help setting up Tommy's thing?" " Yeah, that'd be great." " Yeah?" "How much is that?" "It's 80 bucks." "You just...?" "She's good, isn't she?" "She's the best." " Pat Benatar." " Pat Benatar." "Whoo!" "Let's party." "Okay, shh!" "He's coming, he's coming, he's coming!" "Okay, okay." " Surprise!" " My God." "A party?" "Happy birthday, buddy." "Go on, make a wish." "A wish?" "What should I wish for?" "Let's see." "That's a lot of responsibility, Dad." "I could wish for world peace." "That's always a classic." " Boo." " No need to ask for a bigger family since everybody seems to be marrying each other." "I always wanted a little brother, by the way, dude." "Or I could..." "I could give it away." "Anyone need anything?" "It's your wish, honey." "All right." "I got it, I got it." " Someone's at the door." " Those are so annoying." "This the house where all the fucked up people live?" "What?" "!" "What?" "!" "Wishes do come true!" "Mary and me were in "Huatemala."" " "Huatemala"?" " You don't pronounce the "G," Thomas." "That's the first thing they told the missionaries." "What they didn't tell us was not to eat the cow brains." "I threw up for five days straight and apparently hallucinated multiple conversations with a burning bush." " What did it say?" " Well, my Spanish wasn't so great." "Something along the lines of, "Please put me out."" " Where were you, John?" " Well, let me see." "I was about a mile and a half that way." "Erika was in med school and I was working at a liquor store." "Yeah." "Which didn't turn out to be so good." "Your turn, Kev-o." "Me at 25?" "Jesus." "I was..." "I was a cop." "I worked for my dad, the chief." "And, this was long before he decided to go off the grid and move to Australia." "But on my 25th birthday," "I was..." "I was driving through an intersection... and bam, the back of my cruiser gets clipped." "I jump out of the car and the airbags have gone off." "The woman who hit me, she's shaken, but she's okay." "And I go over to her car." "There's a little two-year-old boy in a car seat." "And he's just calm as can be." "He's just smiling at me." "Must've liked the uniform." " Wait, that was Laurie?" " Yeah." "A year later, I married her, adopted smiley over here." "All because we both thought we had the green light." "And it turned out that the switcher was busted." "So, you know." "Well, divine intervention." "What do you mean?" "You know, like karma or kismet, whatever." "You know?" "What?" "Nothing." "I..." "I never heard the story before." "It's lovely." "To being in the right place at the right time." " Yeah, right place, right time." " Right place, right time." "Sure you wanna drive back to campus?" "You could stay here with us tonight." "If I stay with you guys, it'll just hurt Mom's feelings." "Then stay with her and John." "It's not like it's a far walk." "Yeah, but if I stay with her, she'll just keep me up all night apologizing." "So, this is the last time we're ever gonna see each other?" " What do you... what do you mean?" " Just the world is ending." "Yeah." "Well, right." "How's Nora?" "She's great." "She ever talk about Lily?" "No." "Should I try and get her to?" "What do I know?" " You still got your crown on." " I know I do." "What were guys talking about out on the porch?" "Your penises?" "No, we were talking about what we were doing when we were 25." "And I told the story about how when Laurie crashed into the back of me." "How romantic." "It's more romantic than when we met in divorce court and you told me fuck my daughter." "That's not where we met." "We met at the Christmas dance and you told me you cheated on your wife." " We gotta work on our story." " Yeah." "Here, let me get that." "I got it." " Come here." " Thank you." "When do you get your cast off?" "Um, day after tomorrow." "I was watching you from the porch with Noah." "Yeah." "He's yummy, isn't he?" "Good morning." " What time is it?" " It's Sunday morning." "Sleep in." "I'm just gonna go for a ride." "I should get on the bridge." "Suit yourself, Sheriff." "Everybody knows you just like to ride that horse." "Giddyup." " I love you." " I love you, too." " Hey, Chief, you there?" " Go ahead, Tommy." "The church was doing baptisms and these kids poisoned the water." "You should probably get down here." "On my way." "Keep moving!" "Move!" "They poisoned the water!" " What?" " They poisoned the water, Kevin." "What the fuck happened?" "These guys interrupted a baptism and spilled barrels in the springs." " What the fuck is in those barrels?" "!" " This water isn't holy!" "This water is a symbol of hypocrisy." " I need you to calm the fuck down!" " Three years ago, October 15th, the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms, and Cult assassinated 93 unarmed members of the Guilty Remnant." "They were targeted by a military drone and vaporized." "Megan Abbott!" "Evangeline Murphy!" "Remember them." "Remember them!" "Go to hell!" "I need you to calm down!" "Just listen, please." "Dad!" "The water's fine." "It's a prank." "The water's safe." "It's a stupid prank." "Trust me." "Do you accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and savior?" "What?" "Do you accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and savior?" "Yes." "Then I baptize you, Kevin Garvey, in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, buried in the likeness of his death and raised in the likeness of his resurrection." "He is saved." "That didn't count." "Want me to put the air on, dry you out?" "That's very funny." "Those kids with Evie on their shirts, they were telling the truth about what happened." "On the morning of October 15th, three years ago, there was an unexpected gas leak at the visitor center." "As the result of a cigarette being lit by a member of the Guilty Remnant who were occupying the center at the time, the gas ignited and the building and the people inside were incinerated." "We pray for the families of those that were lost." "And that's the story, Tommy." "But it's bullshit." "How'd you know the water wasn't poisoned?" "I just knew." "That's bullshit, too." "Shit!" "Fuck!" "Tommy!" "Tommy!" "You changed, you son of a bitch." "I got him." "Folks, this is a crime scene." "Stay behind the yellow tape." "Let me bum one of those." "You have to talk to someone." "I gave Billy my statement." "No." "You gotta talk to a shrink." "I was just doing my job." "I'm fine." "I was just doing my job when I killed someone." "It still fucked me up." "You gotta talk." "Talking helps." "You killed someone?" "Yeah." "A, um... a woman." "I had to." "She, um, you know... she had armed security with her and I... well, I killed them, too." "Hey, get away from there!" "Stinkin' mutt!" "It's a sandwich." " Hey." " Hi." "What's going on?" "Can I tell him?" "Mary's leaving." "She and Noah are going back to Mapleton." "What?" "Well, when?" "Now." "Tonight." "We've got a flight out of Austin." "For how long?" "Ever, Kevin." "We're going forever." "I don't..." "I don't understand." "Without Matt?" "All of those years that he took care of you?" "He loves you." "Did you know that Matt won't let me cross the city limits?" "He thinks if I go over that bridge, the magical spell that woke me from my slumber will break and I'll go back into a coma." "Listen, I know Matt can get carried away, but his heart's in the right place." "He's writing a book about you." "He what?" "A book." "He thinks the New Testament's getting old." "I've only read some of it, but you figure fairly prominently, Kevin." " Did you know about this?" " No, I did not." "He got pretty excited when you rose from the dead." "Where the fuck is he?" "Chief." "Can you give us a second, Michael?" "I gotta talk to Matt." "He knows." "What do I know?" " Michael." " He knows, Matt." "Was it Mary?" "Or whatever she said?" "She's very upset right now." " She just, um..." " Where's the book?" "Can we just take a moment here?" "You don't even know what it is you're asking for." "Am I in it?" "Yes." "Is it about my life?" "Yes." "Just give it to me." "I can't." "There's only one copy." " Written by hand." " I don't care how many copies there are." "'Cause whatever little story you're making up is bullshit." "I'm not making anything up." "It's all true." "It all happened." "It's still happening." "Brought y'all some supper." "What's going on?" "Well, John, I'm glad you asked, 'cause what's going on is Matt and your son are writing a gospel about me." "I shot you in the chest... point-blank." "And you got up, walked back into town, didn't even go to the hospital until the next day." "You tried to drown yourself and an earthquake saved your life." "You drank poison." "I buried you and you went to the other place... and came back." "You told them about the, hotel?" "It seemed important." "I'm not, um..." "I can die." "Of course you can." "Just not here." "What?" "Here." "You can't die here in Miracle." "And that twisted bullshit, Matt, is why your wife is taking your son and leaving you." ""If you come to me, but will not leave your family, you cannot be my follower."" "Is that from your book?" "No, Kevin." "That's Jesus." " Well, I'm not fucking Jesus." " I'm not saying you are, but, the beard looks good on you." "Go get the book!" "Where the fuck is the book, Michael?" "No, no, no!" "He's not ready." " He'll destroy it!" " No, he won't." "The fuck I won't, John!" "All right, then so be it." "Him I understand, but you?" "Come on, John." "Well, we can't just be going through all of this for nothing, man." "You're going through this because your daughter died." "We don't know that!" "We don't know that." "What?" "I'm supposed to believe she's gone just because they say her dental records match?" " Y-yes." " No." "No, man!" "Evie did it before." "Maybe she did it again." "I am trusting you with this, and I know you'll do the right thing." "I haven't put your baptism in yet, but it's pretty much up-to-date." "You're insane." "There's, um, glass in your hair." "I was worried you had forgotten." "Don't usually get so many so close together." "Love is in the air." "Um, a little extra for your trouble." "Sarah, does the name Kevin mean anything to you?" "No."