"Fred, you're home early?" "Yep, I wanted to catch you before you started cooking." "Wait till you see what I brought home for dinner." "Fred, if you think I'm going to stuff pheasant at this hour" "It's not pheasant and I'll do the cooking." "What did you buy?" "A couple of dinosaur steaks, New York cut, 2 inches thick." "They look a little stringy to me." "Don't be a wise guy." "They're gone." "You must've left them at the butcher's." "I tell you I had them and then I came right home." "So how could I've...." "What's that?" "Barney, barbecuing next door." "How could those steaks disappear?" "I swear I didn't stop anywhere." "What's he barbecuing?" "Smells like steak." "Yeah." "And I didn't let this bag out of my sight for a sec" "Steak?" "Did you say "steak"?" "What a sneak." "I just put that bag down for a second." "Hi, neighbor." "How do you like these?" "Couple of dinosaur steaks, 2 inches thick." "Makes your mouth water, doesn't it?" "lt does, does it?" "Is he going to get a fistful of fingers in that mouth." "Okay, wise guy." "Hand them over." "Hand what over?" "Hey, let go of those steaks." "Okay, neighbor, you asked for it." "Fred." "I found your steaks right here on the wall." "You owe Barney an apology." "Say you're sorry and let me have them." "I'm sorry and I'm going to let you have both of them." "What's that for?" "That's for the next thing you do wrong." "It's ridiculous, that's what it is." "Two grown men acting like a couple of kids." "They haven't spoken to each other for five days." "I'm sick and tired of it." "I told Barney to go right over and make up with Fred." "What'd he say?" "He absolutely refused." "So I said, "I'm going to invite my mother for a few weeks if you don't. "" "Really, what'd he say then?" "Hi, Wilma." "I'll call you ba ck, Barney's here now." "Hello, Barney." "I was just wondering if...." "How's everything, Wilma?" "Fine, Barney." "I'll go call him." "Fred, a friend of yours is here." "If his name's Barney, he's no friend of mine." "It's all right, Wilma." "As long as I'm here I'd like the return of some property of mine which certain people borrowed but obviously don't intend to ever return." "I'm referring to my ladder, if I may." "Of course, Barney, help yourself." "If he's no friend of mine I'm no friend of his." "You did that on purpose." "So long, neighbor." "Come back, you coward." "Betty, you've been a friend of a coward." "I'll head him off at the pass." "Help!" "Fred, are you all right?" "I will be as soon as I get out of this stupid hole and lay my hands on you." "That's not a stupid hole." "That's going to be my swimming pool." "I don't care what it's going to be." "I'm going to sue you for...." "Swimming pool?" "That's right." "Swim parties, barbecues, water polo you know, the works." "Too bad we're not friends anymore, neighbor." "Maybe you're not my friend, neighbor but I'm still yours." "What'd you mean?" "Just this." "I'm going to show you how you can get your pool for nothing." "I don't get it." "It's simple." "Look." "If you build half a pool and somebody gives you the other half free..." "Yeah." "...you'll get your half for nothing, right?" "But who's giving me the other half free?" "Who?" "Who is your bosom buddy close pal and lifelong friend?" "How many guesses do I get?" "Barney, you're looking right at him." "See you around, bosom buddy, close pal and lifelong friend." "Come back here." "What's that supposed to be?" "A diagram of the finished pool." "Now, this is how it works." "Here's your half and here's my half that you get free with a diving board at either end." "You keep saying I get your half free but it's in your yard." "Well, without my half you only got half a pool, right?" "Yeah, but" "All right." "Look at the advantages of owning a pool with somebody else:" "You get all the expenses, the chlorine, filters the pool toys, the cranophrane, the phorostein" "What, the what?" "Cranophrane and phorostein." "You got to put it in every week, you know?" "Sure." "And it all costs money." "We own the pool together we share the cost." "We do?" "And besides all that I'm throwing in this little surprise free." "For me?" "For you, buddy." ""Do-it-yourself pool kit."" "You're one of the good ones, Fred." "I'm ashamed of myself." "Some friendships are written in blood but this one is written in water." "Water?" "Pool water, that is." "Hey, that's funny." "Start digging." "I'm digging, Fred." "Look, I'm digging." "All right." "You have to admit one thing:" "They've been getting along real great since they started this pool deal." "Why not?" "Barney is doing all the work." "Four thousand more buckets and the last one in is a hot potato." "Keep up the good work, Barney-boy." "You're almost there." "My half isn't even filled yet." "It's a big job, neighbor." "Okay, at this rate it's going to take all day." "No, it's not." "Relax, Barney because I'm going to help you." "You are?" "Yep." "I'm going to get you a bigger bucket." "How do I look?" "Très chic, sir." "You might say:" ""Around the world in 80 inches."" "It is très chic, even if I say so myself." "You think it's a little tight around the middle?" "No." "Snug, perhaps, but tight, never." "You have a handsome physique, sir." "Yeah, I know." "Barney should have it filled by now." "Swim parties, barbecues." "All through, Barney?" "Last bucket, Fred." "Last one in is a hot potato." "Wait for me." "Out goes the bad air." "In goes the good." "We should've left them in for good." "Don't give me any ideas." "Out goes the bad air." "Wilma, when are we going shopping?" "As soon as I serve his majesty's lunch." "He's dining at the pool today." "Where's Barney?" "He's trying on his gear." "Gear?" "He's going to practice spear fishing in the pool." "Spear fishing?" "I'll be right back." "I got to go feed the fish." "Where do you want it, Fred?" "Set it down where I can reach it." "And remember, if you sink don't let my best dishes go down with the ship." "Take me to your leader." "Barney, it's you." "Did my spear-fishing outfit scare you?" "Out of my wits." "Don't scare Fred, or he'll lose his lunch and my dishes." "Hi, Fred." "What are you made up for?" "I'm going to practice spear fishing." "You can't lose." "You'll spear them or they'll die laughing." "How does it work?" "Don't point that thing at me." "I'm sorry." "It's loaded." "You're making it awful tough to be good neighbors." "No use wasting the lunch." "Charlie, how soon till quitting time?" "Any minute now, Fred." "I can't wait to hit that pool." "And there she blows." "Last one in...." "Now what?" "Hi, Fred." "Grab a shoehorn and squeeze in." ""Squeeze in" where?" "Neighbor." "You and me have to have a little talk." "Who ordered this pool full of people?" "They're not people." "It's the YCMA." "I'm letting them use it." "You mean the YMCA." "No, the YCMA." "Young Cavemen's Association." "Hey, buster, you're getting a little heavy." "Last week it was the Boy Scouts." "Monday, your relatives." "Tuesday it was your club." "And last night the bowling team." ""And last night the bowling team."" "When do I get to use my half of the pool?" "You are forgetting, neighbor that your half is my free half and I'm letting you use it." "You are an ungrateful ingrate." "And there's only one way to handle an ungrateful ingrate." "Is this any way to treat your bosom buddy close pal and lifelong friend?" "Barney, you're right." "This is no way to treat a bosom buddy close pal and lifelong friend." "This is." "Now what?" "We're only gone a couple of hours we come back, and you've got a spike fence up." "It's simpler this way." "When he wants to use his half, he does." "And when I want to use my half, I do." "And right now I intend to use my half, with a fancy one and a half." "Hi, neighbor." "Barney, what happened?" "I took out my half of the water." "Why should I fill the pool for that hippopotamus next door?" "Because the wife of that hippopotamus next door happens to be my best friend." "That's why." "The fence comes down because the wife of that little sawed-off runt happens to be my best friend." "And another thing." "This constant quibbling between the two of you has got to come to an end." "Not a bad idea." "Where's Fred?" "He's inside taking a nap." "I haven't seen him since D-day." "You mean "D" for "Down-with-the-fence-day"?" "You know Fred." "He's decided:" ""That pool isn't big enough for the two of us."" "Barney and his buddies are sure using it." "You know big, kind-hearted Barney:" ""Sure, come over, use the pool."" ""Sure, come over, use the pool."" "Big, kind-hearted Barney." "Don't forget Barney is having the bunch over tonight." "I know." "Does Fred know?" "No." "If he asks, I'll tell him Barney's having a pool-warming party." ""Pool-warming party"?" "Sounds like the call of a male gripesaurus." "You bellowed?" "I did." "I understand big, kind-hearted Barney is having a pool-warming which includes using my half of the pool without my permission." "You get the message and I've got one for you:" "I don't want any trouble." "You think I'd make trouble for my bosom buddy close friend and lifelong pal?" "Is that what you're intimating?" "No, that's not what I'm intimating." "That's what I'm saying." "Wilma, I'm surprised at you." "Why would I make trouble for Barney?" "Just because he's been a little unneighborly?" "Just because he's a little ungrateful?" "Just because he's the biggest rat I ever met?" "Don't be silly." "Hello." "Who?" "It's for you, Charlie." "Tell them to hold it a minute, Mac." "Eight rock in the corner pocket." "He'll be right with you." "Ten rock the hard way." "Yeah?" "Hello, Fred." "Do you a favor?" "Yeah, listen." "I'm playing a gag on a neighbor." "Remember the outfit you wore at the Halloween party?" "You mean the policeman's suit?" "Yeah, yeah." "Bust in and give them the "disturbing-the-peace" routine." "Yeah, no more parties or I'll throw the book at them." "No, they won't know you." "You put on that phony mustache and the big nose." "We'll have a load of laughs." "What are you up to, Fred?" "Me?" "What makes you say that?" "I know you, Fred Flintstone." "Don't try anything funny." "I promise you, Wilma if I try anything, it won't be funny." "Don't you realize Barney is really the best friend you've got?" "With him for a friend I don't need any enemies." "See who's at the door." "I don't get it." "Why do you always have to stick up for that knee-high, little monster?" ""For he's a jolly good neighbor" "Remember, this was Barney's idea." ""For he's a jolly good bosom buddy, lifelong friend..." ""...and pal"" "Happy birthday, Freddie-boy." "My buddy." "Come on, Fred, make a wish then blow out the candles." "Okay, okay." "Let's see." "I wish...." "Quiet out there!" "I got to get some sleep." "Ever since that pool went in nobody sleeps." "Okay, this is all-out war." "Yes, madam, we'll take care of it." "Yes, I know, sir." "We'll quiet it down." "I know you're a taxpayer." "I know." "Calling car 809." "Calling car 809." "Yes, Sarge?" "Investigate riot at Fifth and Stone Canyon." "Right, Sarge." "Over and out." "Let's go, Pete." "Barney to the rescue!" "Barney is having a ball." "Looks like this pool-warming party is coming to a boil." "All right, everybody, the party's over." "Let's quiet it down, folks or I'll have to book you on a 407, a 609 and a 33-and-a -third." "We got a dozen complaints." "Swell job, Charlie." "Charlie?" "Let's ham it up a little?" "So, the party's over, big mouth?" "Big mouth?" "How would you like to take a running 407-and-a-half into the pool?" "All right, wise guy I'm going to run you in." "You mean, I'm going to run you in." "Into the pool, that is." "Fred, have you flipped?" "Relax, Wilma." "That's no policeman, that's my friend Charlie." "Fred." "Yeah, Charlie?" "I couldn't get the policeman's suit." "That's okay, Charlie." "Charlie!" "Who's that in the pool?" "It ain't Brigitte Bardot." ""Disturbing the peace." ""Resisting arrest." ""Dunking an officer."" "Etcetera, etcetera, etcetera." "I didn't even have a piece of my own birthday cake." "How do I get into these messes?" "How?" "Fred." "Barney-boy am I glad to see a human face." "How are you, Fred, old pal?" "I'm okay, I guess." "Relax, Fred we'll have you out as soon as the judge sets bail." "Thanks." "Thanks, old pal." "And in the meantime:" ""Happy birthday, bosom buddy" ""Close friend and lifelong pal"" "You're one of the good ones." "Thanks for bailing me out, Barney." "What are neighbors for?" "Is Wilma still mad?" "She'll get over it." "She gave me the bail money, didn't she?" "Like you said, Fred:" ""This friendship is written in water." ""Pool water, that is."" "Speaking of pool water...." "You mean "Last one in"?" "Uh-oh." "Fred, I forgot to tell you." "I had to clean the pool, so I drained it." "Come on, Wilma, open this door." ""Meet George Jetson" ""His boy, Elroy"" ""Daughter, Judy"" ""Jane, his wife"" "Well, here we go again." "Another night, another traffic jam." "Boy, this spaceway traffic gets worse every night." "Looks like an opening up ahead." "There's another one." "Space hog." "I'd better cut around and try to slide in." "Sunday astronaut!" "Yikes!" "Hey, you!" "What do you think this is the Indianapolis 500,000?" "All right, pull up." "What's your name, Speedy?" "George J. Jetson." "George Jetson?" "Georgie, let's see what we got here." "Passing under traffic." "3,500 in a 2,500-mile zone." "That's true." "Et cetera, et cetera." "I didn't see the et cetera." "Well, watch it." "I'll call you back, Mother, as soon as I finish my housework." "George will be home any minute." "All right, dear." "And don't work too hard." "'Bye, Mother." "I might as well start with the vacuuming." "Now, cut that out!" "It's always us careful drivers they're after." "You try to obey the laws be courteous, and what do you get?" "A ticket, every time." "I wonder what's keeping George." "He's late tonight." "Here he comes now." "Judy, your father's here." "Isn't it about time your friends went home?" "But, Mom, Jet Screamer is singing on television." "You know he's my idol." "Well, keep the sound down." "He's not your father's idol." "I guess that's all those guys have to do give out tickets." "Why aren't they out chasing burglars?" "What a way to end a day." "Why do they always have to pick on me?" "The third traffic ticket this week." "Tickets, tickets, tickets." "This is more like it." "Hello, honey." "Bad day at the office?" "Those three-hour work-days are killing me." "What is it?" "Chinese New Year?" "No, dear, it's a meeting of the Jet Screamer Fan Club." "He's on TV." "Not Jet Screamer again." "I will not put up with that noise." "I want quiet!" "Daddy, can we have a little quiet, please?" "We can't hear the music." "Quiet?" "I'll give her quiet." "Here he is, the star of the show:" "Jet Screamer!" "Baby, baby, baby." "Ah-ah-ah." "Everyone out there turn on the anti-gravity floor and let's do the Solar Swivel." "One anti-gravity floor, coming up." ""I know a swinging place" ""Out on the edge of space" ""The band has got a beat" ""That'll lift you off your feet" ""You're dancing in the air" ""But you don't care because you're doing the Solar Swivel" ""Beware" ""Swivel in the middle" ""Swivel on the top" ""Swivel on the bottom" ""Never want to stop" ""Go, Go" ""Swivel, swivel, swivel "" "Those kids are goi ng to kill themselves." "But, George, dear they like to dance to that music." "Dance?" "All they're doing is wearing their clothes out from the inside." "Music?" "You call that music?" "George, when you play your drums Judy doesn't call that music." "So, you're even." "I'll take the drums every time." "Where are you going?" "Down to the corner to get some bananas." "But you don't eat bananas." "I'm not going to eat them." "I'm going to stuff them in my ears." ""Swivel in the middle" ""Swivel on the top" ""Swivel on the bottom" ""Never want to stop" ""Do the Swivel" ""Now you're doing the Swivel, baby, baby "" "My, what a mess!" "Have they all gone?" "All gone." "That Jet Screamer's got to go, too." "Where is Judy?" "ln her bedroom." "We're going to have a Daddy-to-dame talk." "Judy?" "Just a minute, Dad." "Doing your homework?" "No, I'm writing a song lyric." "A song lyric?" "That's right." "Jet Screamer has a contest." "If your song wins, you get to go out on a date with him." "I can't lose, Dad." "Listen." ""Jet Screamer" ""I'm a dreamer" ""When the trumpets blare I want to run barefoot" ""Through your jet black hair, hair--"" "Hair, hair, hair." "Don't slip on all that hair oil." "But, Pops." "And don't "Pops" me, young lady." "Until you get back to doing your homework no more Jet Screamer tapes." "No more Jet Screamer pictures and no more Jet Screamer anything." "Baby, baby, baby." "Ah-ah-ah." "That's one down and one to go." "Honey, where's Elroy?" "He's up at the playground, dear." "Elroy, time for dinner." "Pop, do I have to come now?" "That kid." "Yes, Elroy, it's time to come home." "So long, Irving, see you tomorrow." "Same time, same sand box!" "What took you so long?" "We were playing, Dad." "All right." "Hop in the shower, son, and...." "Playing what?" "Writing messages in secret code." "See?" "Let me see." ""Eep opp ork ah-ah" in secret code  means " meet me tonight. "" "" Eep opp ork ah-a h"" "Dad, that's supposed to be secret." "Now, wait a minute." ""Bloop baba bip, blip baba boop" means "don't be late."" "But, Dad." "Come on, supper time, or "wham bam bop. "" "What does that mean?" ""Wham," if we're late for dinner." ""Bam," your mother's going to bop us." "What'll it be for dinner tonight?" "I want a pizza!" "Me, too!" "All right, to make it unanimous." "Okay." "One unanimous pizza coming up." "Now, let's see...." "Oh, here's the card." "Elroy!" "Can't you wait for the rest of us?" "Sorry, Mom." "It's nice to have peace and quiet for a change." "I had a talk with Judy and that Jet Screamer is finished around here." "That's nice." "'Night, Dad. 'Night Mom." "Can you mail this for me, please?" "Thanks." "George, wouldn't it be funny if she won?" "Funny?" "That's all we need." "I'm going to remove all doubts from the matter." "George, what are you doing?" "I'm removing Judy's entry and replacing it with Elroy's secret code." "But why, dear?" "Because with stuff like "eep opp ork ah-ah" we got a guaranteed loser." "Get it?" "Oh, dear!" "George, isn't it late for Elroy to be up?" "Let's see." "What time is it?" "8:29." "Thank you." "That's all right." "Elroy, bedtime." "And how are things in Outer-Plutonia?" "Not bad!" "Glad to hear it." "Elroy!" "I got to sign off." "Old you-know-who is barking." "Talk to you tomorrow on the 14 MGY aseloscopic." "Faster, Bobby, can't you?" "I'm already going over 1,000." "What's the big hurry?" "My big chance is coming up on TV tonight." "That's what's the big hurry." "Judy, what's the rush?" "They're announcing the winner of the contest on the Jet Screamer show." "Mother, I'm so excited." "Judy, you realize chances are a million-to-one against you." "And now, the exciting announcement  for some lucky girl." "Remember, Judy, we can't all be winners." "The winner of the Jet Screamer contest is Miss Judy Jetson!" "I'm sorry you didn't win, honey." "Judy Jetson?" "And her prize is a date with Jet Screamer!" "Baby, baby, baby!" "Ah-ah-ah!" "I'd like to sing the winning song called, "Eep Opp Ork Ah-Ah"  which means, "meet me tonight. "" "No, you don't." "He knows the secret code message." "Mom, I won!" "I have a date with Jet Screamer tomorrow." "I have a date." "I think I'm going to faint!" "Move over." "Make room for me." "But, George, "Eep Opp Ork Ah-Ah" was Judy's idea in the first place, so she won, anyway." "That's right, Pop." "She wrote it for me yesterday." "All right, Elroy, go to bed." "I don't think Jet Screamer would care too much about going out on a date with Elroy." "That's right." "He's not my type." "You heard me." "I know, "Elroy, go to bed."" "I still don't like that "Baby, baby, baby, ah-ah" coming over here." "Now settle down, George." "He's probably a little shy." "A little shy in brains." "I just made up my mind." "No date for Judy." "Oh, dear." "This must be him now." "Now, George, please try to be pleasant." "Baby, baby, baby, I'm here." "The star of the evening Jet Screamer!" "Jane, listen to me." "I want this bunch of phonies out of here, right now." "Stand by for the television interview." "George, how nice." "We're going to be on television." "I don't care if we're going" " Television?" "I suppose you TV people are always looking for new talent." "Sure." ""The rain on the plain..." ""...falls mainly in Spain."" "What did you say?" ""The rain on the plain..." ""...falls mainly in Spain."" "I think we got a troublemaker here." "Which one?" "The guy next to me giving Spanish weather reports." "We're on the air." "Good evening, folks, this is Jack Star." "Bringing you a special treat." "The winner of the Jet Screamer Song Contest and her family." "But first:" "Jet Screamer himself!" "Baby, baby, baby." "The winner and his date for the evening:" "Judy Jetson." "Say something, Judy." "Her mother and father." "Mr. Jetson, how does it feel to have a famous daughter?" "I feel, I feel, I feel" "Thank you." "I feel" "Back to the studio for an announcement." "George, are you all right?" "I feel, I feel, I feel" "George, dear." "I feel, I feel, I feel...." "One more, please." "Smile." "Hold it." "Jet, where you going?" "Swiveling, boys." "There they go." "Our little Judy with a guy we don't know anything about." "What's to get excited about?" ""What's to get excited about? "" "You know the old saying:" ""When danger threatens the young..." ""...does not the mother eagle bare her claws?"" "An eagle?" "You're acting more like a cuckoo bird." "George, now where are you going?" "My daughter will have a chaperon whether she likes it or not." "Baby, baby how's about the Spaceburger drive-in?" "Swell." "I never swivel on an empty stomach." "Whatever you say, Jet!" "Sure is a beautiful car you have, Jet." "Cars are my hobby." "You see, I got six more at home." "I hate to eavesdrop, but, after all, she is my daughter." "What do you do with so many?" "I kind of like to keep a string of beauties around." "You never know when you'll need one." "What nerve." "Bragging about all his girls to Judy." "A different one each day of the week." "I got big ones, small ones, fast ones, the whole bit." "I like to run them in competition with each other." "How thrilling." ""How thrilling?"" "You must be the first kid on your block to have seven cars." "Just lucky, I guess." "Hang on, baby, I'm going to put her in high." "Cars?" "He was talking about cars!" "Two burgers and two stato-shakes." "You having fun, Judy?" "Gosh, am I." "Imagine me, out on a date with Jet Screamer." "What's up?" "Somebody was peeking in at us." "Probably one of my fans." "This one looked like my father." "Relax." "I get them all ages." "Next stop, the Fun Pad for a few laughs?" "Whatever you say, Jet!" "Ride the Rocket Chute?" "Jet, how exciting." "On the way up, I'll sing you my new number:" ""Marry Me on the Moon."" "Marry her on the moon?" "Follow that rocket!" "Bud, you can't use this rocket." "It's in for repairs." "This is where I do my swivel show, baby, baby." ""Baby, baby"?" "I'll swivel him." "Teenagers only." "How old are you?" "Seventeen." "Your suit's older than that." "All right, I'll tell you the truth:" "I'm nineteen." "All right, blast off." "Now, wait a minute." "She's my father." "I mean, she's my daughter." "You can't stop me." "I'll try the back way." ""Band entrance."" "About time you guys got here." "Hurry up and get on stage." "You're late." "I'll give you $10 to take the night off." "$10?" "For $10, I'll take the week off, man." "Baby, baby, you're going to hear music tonight." "Fats Fanjet on the bass." "Cool." "Cool." "Sonny Solar, old "Hot Licks" himself, at the piano." "Icy, icy." "And on the drums" "Daddy!" "No, that's suppose to be Boom-Boom Basil." "No, it's my daddy." "What's he doing here?" "It's obvious." "He's a fan." "Can he play the boom-booms?" "No, but he can play the drums, a little." "Well, good." "It's going to be a big night tonight." "Hit that curtain." "Hold it!" "Tune in, swivelers." "I've got a treat for you." "A new song by Judy Jetson." "To keep it in the family, on the drums her father, old "Space Dust Daddy" himself." "We're going to kick off with a drum solo." "Go, go, Boom-Boom." "A drum solo?" "Who?" "Who, me?" "Alone?" "Sure, you." "You can do it." "Go get them, Dad." "Zoom, Dad, zoom." ""Eep Opp Ork Ah-Ah" ""ln this capsule baby we are blasting off" ""Eep Opp Ork Ah-Ah" ""That means I love you" ""Now I took my baby for a ride in space" ""Eep Opp Ork Ah-Ah" ""We met a little man with a funny, funny face" ""Eep Opp Ork Ah-Ah" ""He taught us both to wail his way" ""Eep Opp Ork Ah-Ah" "" Nobody digs a word we say" "" Eep Opp Ork Ah-Ah" ""That means I love you" ""l read my baby loud and clear" "" Eep Opp Ork Ah-Ah" ""She just said I love you dear" ""Eep Opp Ork Ah-Ah" ""Now when I reply the way I do" ""Eep Opp Ork Ah-Ah" ""l just said I love you, too" ""Eep Opp Ork Ah-Ah" ""That means I love you" ""Come on, fly with me" ""Come fly with me" ""Come on, fly with me" ""Now, Eep Opp Ork means I dig you" ""You heard the word" ""That crazy word" ""That word you heard" ""Eep Opp Ork means I love you" ""Hop on, baby, I'll put you in orbit"" "Thank goodness, there's the door now." "Somebody's coming home." "Judy, you're home." "Did you see your father?" "Did I?" "I hope he didn't ruin your evening." "Did you have a good time?" "I sure did, but not as good as Dad." "What do you mean, dear?" "Take a look." "Baby, baby, baby." "Oh, oh, oh." "Your daddy's home and he's the star of the show." "George!" "What's going on?" "Mother, you're looking at the new president of the Jet Screamer Fan Club!" ""Eep Opp Ork Ah-Ah"" ""Eep Opp Ork Ah-Ah" ""That means I love you" ""Come fly with me" ""Up high with me" ""Come fly with me" ""Eep Opp Ork means I love you" ""Eep Eep"" "Help!" "Help." "Jane, stop this crazy thing!" "Help, Jane!" "What's that?" "A tree?" "I'll have to move it." "Well, gang, we're almost there." "Isn't it a groovy idea holding the school dance and hayride on a farm?" "I'll say, I can hardly wait to get there." "And I can hardly wait to get my hands on the buffet table." "Just think, like, real chocolate-covered corn on the cob!" "Hey, take a look at Scooby." "He's really slicking up." "I guess he's getting ready to put on the dog." "What's that?" "It looks like there's been an accident." "And there's someone laying in the road." "It's a bank guard." "Is he all right?" "I think so." "He's just got a bad conk on the head." "Like, wow." "This is the craziest accident I ever saw." "Not a scratch on the outside but a real wreck on the inside." "Wreck nothing." "This car's been ransacked." "Maybe the bank guard can give us some answers." "He's coming around." "The flame will tell the Creeper." "The Creeper?" "Creeper?" "Like, wow." "This is creepy." "Who's the Creeper?" "And what's with that piece of paper the guard handed you, Freddy?" "I don't know, it's blank." "Over here, over here." "Look at this." "Like, Scooby's found something." "What is it?" "It's" "It's the bank president's address." "And he lives right near here." "Come on, let's take the guard to his house and get some help." "You did the proper thing by bringing the guard to my house." "He'll be fine when he wakes up." "Thanks, Mr. Carswell, we knew you'd be able to help." "Speaking of help the Sheriff's out of town and won't be back for hours." "Tell me, were there any clues to who did this?" "No, sir, but the guard handed us this blank paper and mumbled:" ""The flame will tell the Creeper."" "Like, who is this Creeper anyway?" "Yeah, who?" "The Creeper is a mysterious figure that's been robbing our bank in the dead of night." "And each time, the doors and windows are still locked from the inside." "Then how does he do it?" "He's a phantom." "A phantom that can walk through walls." "Well, phantom or no phantom, we got a date at the barn dance." "Why don't you kids run along, I'll take care of everything." "This is a groovy dance floor, isn't it, Velma?" "Yeah." "Why don't you try dancing on it instead of my feet?" "May I cut in?" "I've been a wallflower before, but this is ridiculous." "Hey, Scoob, look." "Buffet table at three o'clock." "Are you with me?" "I'm with you." "My favorite snack:" "Corn on the cob à la chocolate syrup." "What happened?" "Cool it, gang." "It's only a power failure." "But what about our dance?" "Velma's right, Freddy." "This creepy old barn is no fun in the dark." "I got an idea." "Let's all meet back at the malt shop." "We can continue our party from there." "Yeah." "That's a good idea." "Let's go." "Scooby and I will head up the cleanup committee." "We will?" "Clean up the food, that is." "See you at the malt shop." "Shaggy." "Scooby." "Hurry it up in there." "We'll be right out." "Okay, Scoob on your mark, get set, go!" "Pretty good cleanup job, if I do say so myself." "Yeah." "Now all that's left is to take these paper plates out back." "We can dump them by that ugly scarecrow, Scoob." "He's for real, gangway!" "What's keeping those two?" "Help!" "Velma, are you all right?" "I will be as soon as I find my glasses." "What got into you two?" "What were you running from, anyhow?" "Him." "What's that?" "That must be the Creeper." "Paper." "I think he wants that blank paper the guard gave us." "And I think it's time to leave." "Everybody, run!" "What's going on around here?" "Run from what?" "There, that's better." "Paper." "Wait for me." "Paper." "Like, let's get out of here." "Paper." "Paper." "Wow, what a crazy way to make a getaway." "But at least we ditched the Creeper." "Doesn't he ever give up?" "Since we're chicken, let's hide with the chickens." "Is he gone?" "Wow, any longer under here and my head would have hatched." "Speaking of hatching, looks like that egg you sat on is hatching." "Now you've done it, Scooby." "That little chick thinks you're his mother." "You better set him straight." "You...." "Me...." "Oh, great." "Now he thinks he's a dog." "Oh boy." "Come on, let's see if we can find the others before the Creeper finds us again." "Wow, that was some wild ride." "I'll say it was, but at least that Creeper didn't get this paper." "What's so important about a blank piece of paper?" "There's only one way to find out:" "Solve this mystery." "Well, unless my glasses deceive me I think we've just found our first clue." "A car hidden in the bushes." "Let's investigate." "Did you find anything?" "Not even the registration slip." "Hey, wait a minute, there's something on the floor." "What is it?" "Negatives." "Torn-up negatives." "And there's something strange about them." "Well, one thing isn't strange:" "Somebody doesn't want somebody to see a picture of somebody." "We'd better find Shaggy and Scooby." "Maybe they've found some clues." "That'll be the day." "Scoob, can't you do something to get rid of your Chicken Little?" "Yeah, yeah." "Don't look now, but company's coming." "Head for the hills!" "Wait for me!" "No sign of Shag and Scooby yet." "I hear someone coming." "I bet it's the Creeper." "Quick!" "Hide behind those trees." "When I give the signal we'll all jump him." "Ready." "Now!" "We've got him." "We got the Creeper." "Correction, we've got Shaggy and Scooby." "I know whose back you're on, but whose side are you on?" "Sorry, guys, we thought you were the Creeper." "Like, who do you think we're running from, this baby chick?" "You saw the Creeper?" "Where?" "There and there and everywhere." "According to Scooby, you've been running into him all over the place." "Hey, get a load of these footprints." "It looks like he ran right past here." "I'll bet those tracks lead us straight to the Creeper." "What are we waiting for?" "Let's go." "Like, couldn't we make better time on the freeway?" "Oh, Shaggy, we're not trying to make time we're trying to make contact with the Creeper." "That's what I'm afraid of." "The footprints end at this gorge." "The Creeper must be in that cave." "Look!" "A rope and plank bridge over the gorge." "Like, what a shame." "The planks have all been rolled up for the night." "Well, back to the old malt shop." "Not so fast, Shaggy." "Scooby can climb across the ropes and unroll the planks for us, can't you?" "Not even for a Scooby Snack?" "It's a deal." "Go ahead, Scooby." "A deal's a deal." "Attaboy, Scooby!" "Go, Scooby, go." "I knew Scoob could do it." "Me, too." "Is this trip necessary?" "Wow." "What a spooky-looking cave." "Like, we're in luck." "Nobody's home." "Welcome to my cave." "Who are you?" "I'm the hermit of the hills and you're just in time to join me for dinner." "I just lost my appetite." "But I insist." "You must stay for a while." "It isn't often that I have visitors." "I can see why." "What do you think?" "He doesn't look like the Creeper." "He looks worse." "Well, that hermit disguise doesn't fool me." "I think he is the Creeper." "Go on, take a taste." "I insist." "You like?" "What is it?" "It's the specialty of the cave:" "Squirrel stew with pickled bat wings and crabgrass roots." "Here, have some more." "No, thanks." "I just remembered I'm on a strict squirrel-free diet." "Me, too." "Come back." "Come back." "Let's get out of here while we still can." "Come back." "Like, what do we do now?" "There's no doubt in my mind that hermit's the Creeper." "Let's get back to the Mystery Machine and go for the Sheriff." "Boy, am I glad we've seen the last of that Creeper." "Me, too." "The Creeper." "It's him." "Paper." "Back to the barn." "Here we go again." "Don't let him get that paper." "Paper." "Wrong turn." "You wouldn't hit someone with glasses on, would you?" "Help!" "Somebody help!" "Watch it." "Looks like I'm a goner." "Sorry about that." "How do we get down from here?" "We jump." "What else?" "Watch it." "The paper." "Let go, that's not it." "Take that, you Creeper." "Scooby, do something." "Yeah." "Nice work, Scooby." "You caught the Creeper." "Now bail us out of these hay bales." "First things first." "It's Mr. Carswell, the bank president." "How about that?" "I got your message and went right to Carswell's house, kids." "Carswell wasn't there, but I found the bank guard tied up in the basement." "Old Carswell had a pretty slick scheme going for a while." "I'll say." "Since he was the last one to leave the bank every day he would just fill his briefcase with money relock the safe, and leave the bank as usual." "Then, later that night, he would return disguised as the Creeper  and make it appear that some sort of a phantom was robbing the bank." "However, unknown to Carswell  the guard installed a concealed infrared camera  which took a picture of him robbing the bank." "Then, when he found out, he went after the guard to get the incriminating pictures." "And this is it." "We told Carswell about this paper and after we left he must have figured out what it was." "And that's why he chased us, trying to get the paper." "Watch." "The flame will tell." "There's the Creeper." "Well, I'll be." "You kids have certainly wound up all the loose ends in this case." "Blasted, meddling kids." "Now that we're rid of the Creeper why don't we creep on down to the malt shop and join the party?" "Like, I'm ready." "Me, too." "We got one passenger too many." "I think you'd better take him back to his real mother, Scoob." "Bye-bye." "Oh, no!" "Scooby's become a mother hen all over again." "This picture is respectfully dedicated to the scientists of our country  and particularly to Professor Huckleberry Hound  who, armed only with his scientific knowledge saved this nation  from a terrible fate." ""Oh, my darling, oh, my darling" ""Oh, my darling--"" "Professor Huck." "Howdy, Narrator." "Is that experiment you're working on top-secret?" "Shuckens, no." "I was just, you know, kind of mixing myself a chocolate sody." "And with my scientific knowledge I sure do make a doozey of a chocolate sody." "That's nice, Huck, but we want you to tell us about  "Operation Spud. "" "Oh, that." "No, I don't mind." "Well, it all started on a little old farm smack in the middle of Idaho." "They grow lots of things in Idaho but mostly they grow potatoes." "Millions and millions of potatoes." "Oh, I get it." " That is where the name comes from." "That's right." ""Operation Spud. "" "Well, these was mighty fine potatoes and as we all know, potatoes have eyes." "But the strangest thing happened." "Along with his eyes, one potato had a brain." "That's right." "This potato had a brain." "And pretty soon he started using it." "The first thing he did was to sprout legs  then arms and finally, a mouth." "Then his little old potato brain started to scheme." "He would replace the animal kingdom with a vegetable one and make himself King Spud I." "Today, the potato field, tomorrow, the world." "Potatoes, arise." "No more will we stand for being boiled mashed and French-fried." "We shall attack and win, win, win." "All right, you stupid potatoes lie there like vegetables." "I'll do it myself." "I'll grow big." "And bigger and bigger." "And, you know, that potato grew so big he started to, you know, attract attention to himself." "The spud is coming." "Run for your lives." "It's the spud." "Help." "It's the spud." "Help." "Run for your lives." "And after knocking down the Golden Gate Bridge the spud ripped up the main street of the city." "Residents in the eastern area are advised to evacuate immediately." "Hello." "Yes, this is Professor Huckleberry Hound speaking." "The White House?" "Gosh, sir, this is a great honor." "What?" "Not that White House the white house next to Schneider's bakery." "If you fellas think I'm the only one who can capture the spud I'll take the job." "It might be kind of tough finding that spud." "He keeps moving around so." "That's funny, my motor's going, but I'm not getting no place." "Well, what do you know?" "I'm gaining altitude." "Now, look here, Mr. Spud." "You put this auto down, right now." "You notice, he knows who's boss around here." "Okay, Spud, you've had your fun and now you're through." "You hear me?" "You're through." "It's only fair to warn you I have science on my side and all you got is muscle." "I didn't miss that by much." "I didn't miss that one at all." "That Mr. Spud is a goner now, for sure." "I got me a real good scheme going." "You see, by lowering this lasso over him I'll lift him up and then kerplunk him in the ocean." "I got brains, man." "All he's got is muscle." "Like I said, all he's got is muscle." "And here it comes." "For a potato, he sure can run fast." "I'll hide in that hollow log up ahead." "He can't follow me in there." "And for a potato, he blows real good, too." "I just got to, you know, talk to the owner about this here chimney." "I skedaddled back to my scientific laboratory  to work out a scientific scheme to get rid of this ornery potato." "But, whilst I was thinking  that Mr. Spud started pestering me again." "I can't get a lick of work done under these conditions." "Now, look here, Mr. Spud." "You're getting me all riled up." "And when I get riled, I start running." "I'll head for my experimental rocket." "Safest place right now is on the moon." "Got you now, Mr. Spud." "You're locked up in my experimental rocket." "And you're just small potatoes now." "He got the rocket started." "What a close call for you, Professor." "What finally happened to the spud?" "Well, that rocket went into orbit around the Earth." "And that old spud is now a "Spudnik. "" "He's just about due to pass overhead now." "And here he comes." "Mr. Spud's got only one worry." "You see, there's a powerful lot of explosives aboard that rocket and any minute now it just might" "Explode." "Well, we'll never know for sure what happened." "But it is raining potato chips." "It's the night before the opening of the tourist season at Jellystone Park, and at the ranger station Chief Ranger Smith is busy with last minute details." "Hello, Ranger Smith speaking." "Uh-oh, the superintendent." "Yes, Chief, we're all set for the official opening in the morning." "Yogi Bear?" "He won't give me any trouble this season." "I warned him that the first picnic basket he touches he's out and I've got a sure-fire scheme to catch him red-handed." "That's fine, Smith." "Well, good luck with your plan." "Thank you, sir." "You better check the St. Louis Zoo and see if they want another bear." "I promise this is Yogi Bear's last season here." "What an idea, me dressed up like a bear." "I'll be able to keep a close check on Yogi." "And the first picnic basket he takes:" "Wham, I've got him." "Too bad they only had a polar bear suit to rent but a bear's a bear." "All except Yogi." "He's a pest." "Now let's see how I look." "Boy, this'll fool Yogi." "It's just about dawn, so I'll get down to Yogi's cave and be there when he wakes up." "I don't know how he does it, but Yogi always comes out of hibernation on opening day." "It's uncanny." "Wake up, Boo-Boo, it's opening day." "What's the matter, Yogi?" "Did you see a ghost?" "That's right, Boo." "It's all white and it looks like this." "Excuse me for disturbing your sleep." "Who are you, Whitey?" "I'm a polar bear and I need help." "You need something, you look kind of pale to me." "All polar bears are white, so we can't be seen when we hide in the snow up at the North Pole." "Hide in the snow at the North Pole?" "Well, to each his own." "But I got tired of hiding in the snow." "Which is understandable." "So I came to the great Yogi Bear to learn how to live in a national park, from picnic baskets." "How about that, Boo?" "I think I'm playing it real cozy and they know all about me at the North Pole." "Well, as a displaced person you're welcome to share our lot in Jellystone Park." "But, as wards of the federal government there are certain rules we must live by." "Yes, I know." "Bears are not allowed in cabins." "Check." "They must never stop cars on highways and beg for food." "Check." "They must obey the ranger." "Check." "And never filch picnic baskets." "Right, Yogi?" "Double check." "Now, who do I know who'd go up to the North Pole and shoot off his mouth about me?" "Okay, Whitey, if you'll wait outside for a couple of minutes Boo-Boo and I will join you and show you around the park." "Fine, see you outside." "Fooled him completely." "An animal's intellect can never compete with the brain of a smart human." "There's something fishy about this Whitey." "But he's so friendly, Yogi he's smiling all the time." "That's it, Boo, he's too friendly and he knows too much." "I just don't trust anyone who smiles all the time and talks without moving his mouth." "I think he's a nice bear." "I'll go outside and keep him company." "It sure gets hot in this bear suit." "Oh, my gosh!" "That bear Whitey, he swallowed Mr. Ranger." "I saw him open his mouth and Mr. Ranger was inside." "The ranger inside?" "I get the picture." "Boo-Boo, little buddy, don't say anything." "The old master will take care of this." "Okay, Whitey, let's take a tour through the park." "You'll like it here." "Nice scenery and nice people come here." "Yogi, how about Mr. Ranger?" "Oh, yes, Mr. Ranger." "You'll like him, Whitey." "He's the greatest." "He is?" "Jellystone wouldn't be Jellystone without him." "What a guy." "Let's go look at the geysers." "No, tell me more about the ranger." "The ranger is my friend." "Hold it, Boo." "He's all the animals' friend." "We all respect him as the brave handsome woodsman he is." "No kidding?" "He isn't a crank?" "Far from it." "He has his rules, but that's his job..." "...and we do our best to obey." "More." "He sounds like a swell fellow." "Mr. Ranger has a great sense of humor, too." "Gives us a lot of laughs." "Could it be that I've misunderstood Yogi all this time?" "He's a tricky one, but I'll test him." "Look, Yogi, a picnic basket." "I'll bet it's full of nice goodies." "That doesn't interest me, Whitey." "I wouldn't touch it with a 10-foot goodie pole, and besides, it's against the rules." "I use to filch an occasional olive, but that's all past." "I've turned over a new leaf." "Never mind leaves, get a sandwich." "Go on, let's see if you have your old cunning yet." "Well, okay, but just this once." "The minute he puts his hand on that basket, I've got him." "Looks like it's chock-full of goodies." "No, I can't do it, I can't do it." "I'd be breaking one of the ranger's rules." "Please don't make me." "I can't let the ranger down." "He's our best friend." "The very best." "Yogi, look, it's me, Mr. Ranger." "Mr. Ranger, sir." "Oh, my gosh, he's fainted." "Go quick, Boo, get some water." "Gosh, I don't understand what's going on." "There, there, Yogi, it was me all the time." "I was just testing you." "Did I pass, sir?" "With flying colors, Yogi." "I'll get out of this hot suit, and, Yogi you're going to have a nice pie from the picnic basket." "Say, Whitey was Mr. Ranger all the time." "Here, Yogi, have a bite to eat." "I don't know, sir." "My appetite suffers when I'm emotionally upset." "But if you'll force-feed me I'll try to choke it down." "Well, now I've seen everything." "Mr. Ranger feeding Yogi Bear." "That's good, now have another bite." "Go on, go on." "Thank you, sir." "Hurry, Pixie." "I am, I am, Dixie." "I will get you meeces and I'll batten down your hatches, like." "I'm so vicious today." "I scare myself, like." "Head for the mousehole, Pixie." "We'll never make it, Dixie." "Hey, Jinksy, you all right?" "Wake up, Jinks." "Do you think old Jinksy has kicked the bucket?" "Let's see." "Out." "It doesn't say when he'll return." "We ought to do something." "Yeah, we should." "Let's get some cheese out of the refrigerator." "Well, how will that help?" "lt'll help me." "I'm hungry." "Mr. Jinks." "Speaking." "You are at the crossroad of your life." "Oh, boy." "Your past behavior will determine if you will go up or down." "Let's look at your record." "Okay." "How is it?" "Not so good." "Always making life miserable for Pixie and Dixie." "I know." "But you'll get a chance to redeem yourself." "I will?" "Go back." "And if you're nice to Pixie and Dixie..." "Yeah?" "... we'll talk it over again." "Thanks." "Boy, that was a close call, like." "Jinksy is up again." "Head for the mousehole." "Don't run, fellas." "I'm not going to chase you." "I'm a different pussycat." "I like you, like." "That sock he got seemed to change him." "Any change will be an improvement." "Pixie and Dixie are my pals and I will be nice to them." "He acts as if he's sort of, well, kind of...." "Nuts?" "Yeah." "That's it." "Well, I'll check." "Are we really pals, Mr. Jinks?" "Pixie and Dixie are my dear, dear chums." "And I will be nice to them, like." "Really and truly?" "I love my little buddies those cute little meeces." "He's getting sloppy about it." "I think he's scared." "Scared?" "Of what?" "Scared of us, that's what." "And I'll prove it." "Hello, cute mouse-type, buddy." "Why you little meeces." "I'll tear you to pieces." "Mr." "Jinks." "Yeah?" "Up?" "Or down?" "Yeah." "Remember?" "He chickened out." "He didn't do nothing." "This is our chance to get even with that big bully." "Yeah, chasing us and scaring us half to death all the time." "I was only kidding, fellas." "Look, I just want to be your friend." "I love those meeces." "You sure you had enough, chums?" "Yeah, for now." "Hey, Jinks, it's Pixie's turn to play cowboy." "Cowboy?" "Oh, they are the cute ones." "Ride him, cowboy." "Yahoo!" "Yippee!" "Faster, horsey, faster." "Keep his head up, Dixie." "Yahoo!" "Yippee!" "Faster, horsey, faster." "Keep riding, cowboy, keep riding." "Okay, Jinks, take five." "Then we'll play space cat again." "Oh no, not space cat." "I hate that game." "Hey, cat, come here." "I want to talk to you." "What's, like, on your mind, dog?" "That was the most disgraceful exposition I ever seen." "I feel ashamed for you." "But...." "No, buts." "Just stop letting those mice push you around or you will be eating your meals through a straw." "You know, you're right." "You know, I had just about enough of those meeces." "Mr. Jinks." "I know, I know." "Up." "Down." "I got the message, like." "Hey, Dixie, we're being invaded by the monster space cat." "I hate this game." "I'll smash his space helmet and he'll have to breathe earth air." "Then he'll be at our mercy." "Give me that thing, mouse." "If that cat's going to let you push him around I might as well get in on the fun." "Okay, earth mice, here I come to invade your planet, like." "Here's your hammer back, buddy." "I just saved the world from an outer space invasion." "Stand still, will you?" "How can we play William Tell if you keep giggling the apple?" "These mice are real cute buddies." "When I plays, I plays hard." "Mr." "Jinks." "Yeah." "Time to check in again." "Yeah." "Mr. Jinks, you have done well." "I know." "But, through a bookkeeping error  we overlooked the fact that cats  have nine lives." "You have eight to go." "Boy, eight lives left." "Going down." "All right, you meeces." "William Tell, like, you want to play, huh?" "Head for the mousehole, Pixie." "I am." "I am." "Don't you, like, want to play space cat, anymore?" "How about cowboy?" "Who cares?" "I still got, like, seven lives left." "And I'm spending all seven chasing you meeces." "Step right up, folks!" "This is it." "The big time in the big top." "Where, for a slight fee, you'll see right before your very eyes the most daring, unbelievable high trapeze act ever attempted." "I call your attention to stage right for the start of this death-defying act." "Nobody said anything about defying no death to me." "This brave performer will swing across the street, catch his partner and swing back, all without a net." "Now he tells me." "Okay, maestro, if you please." "Right." "What's that crowd doing in the alley?" "Top Cat must be up to something." "The least he could have done was let us rehearse this once." "Five hundred alleys in New York, and I got to have one with a nut in it." "What in the...." "Officer Dibble!" "Excuse me, folks, I got to go water the elephants." "I'm ready, Frank." "Officer Dibble, what are you doing here?" "Everybody wants to get in the act." "Brain, I'm warning you:" "put me down or I'll run you in." "Okay." "It wasn't much, but he sure is game." "That did it." "Now I'm really sore." "Old Dibble is on the warpath, and when I find that Top Cat the feathers are going to fly." "It's too bad, fellas, we had such a good thing going." "Lots of dough rolling in then Dibble has to play gangbusters." "He wasn't bad." "Maybe we could work him into the act." "No, he'd never go for it." "I got to think up some new way to make a fast buck." "TC?" "What's a may-hay-ray-jay?" "What's a what?" "A may-hay-ray-jay." "Who do I look like, Daniel Webster?" "I didn't write no dictionary." "Says here he gives away rubies." "Thousands of dollars worth of rubies." "Rubies, schmubies, who cares?" "I got my own problems." "Rubies?" "Let me see that paper." ""Maharajah of Pookajee to visit city."" ""Rich potentate famous for giving away rubies instead of money."" "This is it, men." "Men, this is it." "Our ship has come in, loaded with rubies." "All right, everybody out!" "This is a raid!" "Fleeing the scene and resisting an officer?" "You're asking for it." "All we want is a little peace and quiet." "You'll get it, all right." "It's very quiet in solitary confinement." "Interruptions, interruptions." "If it ain't Dibble, it's something else." "Hello?" "Who?" "Look, I'm in a bit of a hurry." "Will you call back later, Mac?" "Hi, Dibble." "Here's a call for you." "Part of my personal services to a great guy." "I hope you appreciate it." "Give me that phone." "It's all yours, Dibble." "I'll take care of you later, wise guy." "Hello, Sergeant." "Dibble speaking." "That's gratitude for you." "I got to remember not to send him anymore birthday cards." "I'm on special assignment to guard the Maharajah of Pookajee?" "I guess he can use some police protection with all the jewels he carries." "What time is he arriving?" "Oh, yeah." "What time is he arriving?" "I gotcha, Sarge." "So long." "What'd he say?" "Listening in on official business?" "Not exactly, Officer." "It's just that as a citizen concerned with international goodwill I was interested in the maharajah's visit to our fair city." "You were, were you?" "After all, how often do we get an opportunity to mingle with royalty?" "You can bet you won't be mingling with no royalty because I'm going to be there to keep all finagling freeloaders away." "That means you." "And another thing, Top Cat if I ever catch you using that phone again it's a free ride in the paddy wagon for you." "Get me?" "He really does that well, doesn't he?" "I mean, doesn't he?" "Dibble, the image you portray:" "Incorruptible virtue." "The figure of a true guardian of the people." "If they don't give you a promotion the least they can give you is an Academy Award, Dibble." "But they won't." "You know why?" "Because they're jealous." "Gregory Peck should be grateful that you chose the profession of civil servant instead of acting." "Why, he'd be starving today." "Starving!" "All right, knock it off." "And remember what I told you." "I don't want to catch you hanging around the Sherry Plaza Hotel." "Got it?" "Yes, Dibble, I got it." "Thanks, buddy." "TC, Officer Dibble was awfully mad." "I guess we can't get to see that maharajah." "Nonsense, my boy." "How's he going to stop us?" "Remember, I've been using my brain for years." "Officer Dibble's is still practically brand new." "Now, I want you to round up the boys, Benny because we're having a meeting." "And that's the story, fellas." "This maharajah is so rich, he gives away rubies instead of money." "And as long as he's giving them away, he might as well give them to us, right?" "Remember, this is strictly a volunteer action." "Anyone who doesn't wish to become a millionaire in 24 hours may leave right now." "Any questions?" "How will I know if he gives me a ruby?" "I never saw a ruby before." "That's a good question, Benny." "It shows you're thinking." "Just take whatever he gives you." "Don't argue." "If he runs out of rubies, maybe he'll give you emeralds." "I think maharajahs use them for small change." "Boy." "Emeralds." "People will come in from all over to get in on this so when we get to the hotel, spread out." "You see a line forming, get on it." "That way, we're covered." "We'll come out with something, right?" "Right, Top Cat." "Right." "Right." "There it is, men." "Our gateway to gracious living." "One ruby and we can live there for a year." "Now, we've got to move fast." "Me and Benny'll go in the front door." "Fancy and Spook, take the side entrance." "I gotcha, TC." "Choo-Choo and Brain, you take the rear door." "Right, rear door." "Any questions?" "Where do we take the rear door to, TC?" "Where does he take the...." "You don't take it anywhere, bubblehead." "You just go in." "If you see a maharajah, just hold out your hand." "Now, let's go." "Remember, we don't have to be too greedy." "One ruby should do it." "Officer Dibble." "I thought I told you I didn't want you hanging around this hotel." "Benny, that's what I like about Dibble." "He remembers." "Dibble, the maharajah should be proud knowing he has you to protect him." "Anybody else would be inside with his hand out, but not you." "Here you stand, staunch and vigilant." "Too modest to speak for yourself." "Content in the virtue of your integrity." "Steely-eyed, like an eagle." "Not giving a thought to the legendary generosity of this Indian prince." "Unwilling to compromise between avarice and pride in your work." "Come, Benny." "We must tell the maharajah about Officer Dibble." "After all, how often do we get an opportunity to do something for someone we really like?" "Top Cat?" "Yes, Dibble?" "Out." "And stay out!" "Oh, boy." "TC, what'll we do now?" "I'm thinking." "I guess they only let maharajahs in the hotel today." "Yes...." "That's it, Choo-Choo." "You just gave me an idea." "No kidding." "I did?" "Yes." "Here's what you do, Benny." "Go to the dime store and get me a lot of beads." "You know, those glass beads?" "The rest of you, into that truck." "Mingle with the laundry, chose something in your size." "Sheets, towels, anything." "We're all going to be maharajahs." "I'm going to like this." "I never was a maharajah before." "Top Cat, I got the glass beads." "What do you want them for?" "I'm a big tipper, that's why." "Wrap a towel around your head, Benny." "Is it all right to wear a Turkish towel if I'm an Indian?" "Sure, Dibble won't know the difference." "The closest he's ever come to royalty was once when he had a pair of kings playing poker." "All right, group, we're all set." "Remember to keep your mouth shut." "I'll do all the talking." "Follow me, men." "Faster." "It's the maharajah." "What a distinguished-looking guy." "Okay, we got past Dibble." "You see a line, get on it and stick your hand out." "Maharajah, Your Excellency." "A thousand pardons but we did not expect you so soon." "That's funny, TC." "That guy thinks you're a real maharajah." "We received your telegram, but you did not specify the time of arrival." "I didn't?" "Boy, I got to take advantage of this." "Did you send the wire, slave?" "Who, me?" "Honest, I didn't send any wire, Top" "Quiet, slave, I'll deal with you later." "Five million subjects to choose from, and I had to pick this for my secretary." "Now look what you've done." "They're not expecting us for another week." "How awkward." "Now we'll have to find another hotel." "Another hotel?" "No, you misunderstand, Your Highness." "Your suite is ready." "Suite?" "Did you say our suite is ready?" "Certainly, Highness." "Front!" "The maharajah's bags." "The bags." "They'll be here later." "What excellent service." "Slave, rubies." "The beads, the glass beads." "Yes, I got them." "Here you are, Your Royal Highness." "Thanks, slave." "I hope you guys don't mind rubies?" "I never remember to carry cash." "Rubies!" "I got them!" "They're mine!" "Stop it!" "This is a respectable hotel." "Please try to remember that." "Yes, sir." "We will, sir." "Will you forgive the commotion, Your Highness?" "Very well, if you insist." "Come on, gang." "Going up, please." "Oh boy, rubies." "They're mine." "Come on, they're mine." "I want them." "Boy, this is some layout, TC." "Yeah, like, it's cool." "I've never seen anything like this before." "You can, like, say that again, you know?" "I said gracious living, right?" "That's what you said." "Anything we want, the manager said." "That means unlimited credit." "We can live like kings." "But TC, what are we going to do if the real maharajah comes along?" "The real maharajah?" "Bite your tongue, Benny." "You saw the telegram, didn't you?" "He's not expected for another week." "So let's live, live, live." "But what if the hotel manager finds out?" "Yeah, baby, like what happens then, you know?" "Do I hear voices of discontent after we have it made?" "The classiest hotel in town insists we be their guests." "They fix up this $200-a-day suite for us." "They insist on feeding us." "Feeding us?" "Yes, look at this menu." "Lobster Thermidor, Pheasant Under Glass, Oysters Rockefeller." "Steak." "Steak." "Did you say steak?" "With mushroom sauce, yet." "Mushroom sauce yet." "Where?" "Any of you guys ever had Baked Alaska?" "I never even had it raw." "Does it really say "wild strawberries"?" "Like, six-inch-thick steaks?" "Hello, Room Service?" "This is the Maharajah of Pookajee." "Room Service." "What took you so long?" "Never mind." "Send up everything on the menu." "Charge it to the manager with my compliments." "Here's a little something for your trouble." "Keep the change." "Look at the size of that ruby." "It's mine." "He gave it to me." "He gave it to me." "It's every man for himself." "Front?" "Back, Front!" "Back!" "I got it!" "No, you don't!" "Order!" "Give me my ruby!" "It's mine!" "Help!" "Now remember, that maharajah's loaded." "We go in, heist the jewels, and scram." "Got it?" "Yes, boss." "But what do we do first?" "Scram or heist the jewels?" "Never mind." "Just do what I tell you." "Boy." "Wild strawberries with whipped cream." "This is really living." "TC, somebody's at the door." "Well, open it." "That's probably Room Service." "That's how they work in a classy joint." "Fast." "Hi, fellas." "Did you bring the food?" "Food?" "No, we brought something else." "What?" "This." "Yikes!" "Tell him to put it on the table, Benny." "Don't wait for us, you must be starved." "Not anymore." "Why not?" "I just lost my appetite." "Now, don't tell me they got the order wrong." "You the maharajah?" "I'm sorry, but we're awfully busy right now." "No time for autographs." "This is a stickup." "Yeah, a heist." "We want all the rubies you got, pal." "You want the rubies?" "Say, this is like the Peter Pistol Program." "You're not Peter Pistol, are you?" "Who, me?" "Of course you are." "That steely glint in your eyes...." "That strong jaw...." "You are Peter Pistol." "No, I'm not." "My name is Spike." "You're joking." "I know you must be Peter Pistol." "I leave it to my servant here." "Slave?" "Look at this handsome man." "What do you see?" "Peter Pistol, right?" "I don't see Peter Pistol, but I see a pistol all right." "See, what did I tell you?" "And you...." "Don't tell me." "You must be the star of the TV program, Have Gun, Will Shoot." "Wrong, this program ain't on TV." "It's coming in live." "We ain't got all day, so make with the rubies." "Yes, the rubies." "Well, I don't know." "As a rule, I only give away rubbies, I mean rubies to those who do me a favor." "Then that's me, pal, on account of I'm doing you a big favor by not blowing your head off." "Now quit stalling, and hand over the loot." "What a pity." "It hardly seems worth the trouble you gentlemen have gone to." "Hardly even a $100,000 worth." "You must order some more tomorrow." "Yes, sir." "How would it look in the papers?" "Here I am, one of the wealthiest maharajahs in the world...." "To be robbed of such a paltry sum is disgraceful." "Promise me you won't tell." "I'll be sure to have some more tomorrow." "Do you gentlemen think you can come back tomorrow?" "I don't know, Your Majesty." "It's up to the boss here." "He's the brains of this operation." "Well, if you don't mind this little bit...." "Oh, no, that's okay." "And thanks, Your Majesty." "Say, are you sure you're not Peter Pistol?" "Honest, I ain't." "He's a little taller." "Knock it off, and let's get going." "They got away with all our rubies." "They were only glass beads, Benny." "Okay, you guys, you can come out now." "Nice going, TC." "All in a day's work, boys." "Benny, run to the dime store and get some more beads." "We'll need them when our dinners get here." "Okay, TC." "How are you?" "I beg your pardon." "I'm from Finchley, Finchley  Finchley Jewelers." "The Maharajah of Pookajee has requested us to bring our most precious gems for his collection." "Is the maharajah in?" "Yes, but he's having lunch now." "I wouldn't want to disturb him." "But there's one of his servants." "Perhaps you can give the jewels to him." "Hey, you." "Who, me?" "Yes, this gentleman wants to see you." "Okay." "Take these jewels to your master." "He's expecting them." "TC was right." "You sure do get good service in this hotel." "TC, I got the beads." "Good boy." "I got some real nice ones this time." "Maybe I should give one to Dibble, just for laughs." "He'd think he got a fortune." "Take a look out the window, Benny." "See what's going on." "All I see is a limousine and a bunch of motorcycle cops." "They're stopping here at the hotel." "Probably our Rockefeller Oysters arriving." "Go downstairs and see that they get here right away." "I'm starved." "Go like the wind, boy." "Go, fly!" "Your slightest wish is my command, My Highness." "Make ready." "The Maharajah of Pookajee arrives this very moment." "Why, the maharajah is already here." "He arrived not an hour ago." "Hey, Sam." "You, at the desk." "Where are those oysters?" "The maharajah's getting very impatient." "That is one of his servants." "Imposter." "He is a fake." "The real maharajah is waiting outside." "Holy mackerel." "Wait until TC hears this." "TC, that's the worst." "That's the maharajah down there." "The real one." "The real one?" "I knew this was too good to last." "All right, everybody, scramble." "Everybody out." "How do we get out?" "Like, what do we do?" "Do?" "Do what I do: use the emergency exit." "Everybody down the laundry chute." "We'll scatter and meet down by the docks." "It's the maharajah." "Excuse me, sir." "I didn't see you coming." "Quite all right, Officer." "Now, if you'll excuse me." "Just a minute, Your Majesty." "You dropped your jewels." "Jewels?" "Yes, jewels." "Well, you keep them, Officer." "You've done such a splendid job." "Splendid, splendid boy." "Gosh, thanks." "Wait until I tell the wife about this." "Everything is ready, sir." "They're expecting you inside." "They are, are they?" "Those autograph hounds aren't going to catch me." "I'm going in the side entrance." "Oh, no." "Not another one." "The joint's jumping with maharajahs all of a sudden." "At least get your hat on straight." "You got a better chance of looking like one." "Thank you kindly, sir." "Forget it." "I can tell you one thing, you're wasting your time." "The real maharajah just showed up." "Here, my good man." "What's this?" "Some rubies for you." "I always reward kindness with rubies." "Oh, brother." "He's got that line down pat." "Well, so long, and arrivadurchi-urchi to you, kiddo." "Here he comes now." "Hi, Top Cat." "How do you like that?" "Rubies." "That guy's using my racket." "Everybody's getting into the act." "Who needs this junk?" "Let's see, maybe I can still work this combination and make $50." "Hi, Top Cat." "Well, it's Officer Dibble." "I just dropped by to say good-bye to you guys." "Good-bye?" "Where you going?" "Why aren't you in uniform?" "What happened?" "Me and the wife are taking a trip for a couple of weeks." "A trip?" "Officer Dibble, sir, don't tell me you got a horse running and never told me." "A horse?" "No." "I bumped into that maharajah and I guess he appreciated the police protection I gave him, because he gave me a bag full of rubies." "Rubies." "They were glass beads." "Glass beads." "Okay, have it your way." "You say glass beads, I say rubies." "So long, Top Cat." "Now, how did that happen?" "I must have goofed someplace." "TC?" "You want to hear something funny?" "Remember that little guy you bumped into at the hotel?" "Here's his picture in the paper." "He's the real maharajah." "The real maharajah?" "Yes, look." ""The Maharajah of Pookajee arrives at hotel today." ""Eccentric millionaire reported giving away fortune in rubies."" "How do you like that?" "I thought he was a phony operator, and it turns out he's the real thing." "He even gives me a whole bag of rubies, and what do I do?" "I chuck them in the ocean." "In the ocean?" "Wait, what am I saying?" "Here we are talking while some poor fish is getting rich." "Quick, Benny, get the gang." "Bring Aqua-Lungs, flippers, snorkels, get a boat." "Get going." "Move it, boy." "A little more to the left, Choo-Choo." "Choo-Choo, you see anything?" "Spook, you look under those rocks." "Brain, go deeper." "No, to your left." "No, to your right." "Back this way." "Oh, this is ridiculous." "What am I doing, sending children out to do a man's job?" "Here, Benny, hold my hat." "Geronimo!" "Now, why did he do that?" "He knows he can't swim."