"♪Translated by♪  XQ2☻" "THE BIG RESTAURANT" " Hello Messieurs dames." " Hello, Madame." "Everything all right?" "Very good, thank you." "Hmmmm." "What a marvellous idea to invite us here!" " And not expensive!" " Really?" " Oh, not at all!" " How much?" "15 to 20 thousand per person." " Without the wine?" " Of course." "They're giving it away!" "Table four; if they order a digestif, it's on me." " What, if they don't?" " Then nothing.☻" "Hey, what's that?" ""Eggs Mimosa", M. Septime." " That's supposed to be "Eggs Mimosa"?" " Yes, M. Septime." "I told you, that to simulate foliage on Eggs Mimosa," "I want tarragon." "Eh oh!" "Watch it!" " Who prepared these eggs?" " He did sir." "This guy?" " Yes." " Did you do this?" " Yeah, so?" "Watch your tone, huh?" "I told you 100 times, to simulate foliage on Eggs Mimosa" "I want tarragon, not parsley!" " Talk to the Chef." " To hell with the Chef!" "What is it?" " How's it going, Marcel?" " Good, what's the problem?" "Nothing." "M. Septime wants to put tarragon instead of parsley." "In Eggs Mimosa?" "!" "Parsley and onion!" "Never tarragon!" "It's no good." " I was just saying that." " No, he said tarragon!" "What, you don't like my godson?" "Your godson?" " Louise's kid." " Oh!" " How is Louise?" " Fine." " And you, Mr Marcel?" " Fine too." "Way too many people in the kitchen!" "Eh..." "Oh, gotta go!" "That guy's giving me a goddam complex!" "You should be ashamed!" "Have you no shame?" "Hm, coward!" "Hey, that's enough!" "What do you expect?" " Your tie!" " Oh, pardon!" "Here I am!" "Mme Baroness called me?" "No I called my little Poupette." "Oh!" "Little Poupette." "You're not Poupette!" " Pardon?" "You're not called Poupette!" " No." "Then, get lost!" "Excuse them." " It was very good, Septime." " Thank you, Baron." "Mmmm!" " Where's the other one?" " I'm here, M. Septime." " Very good." "We'll be back." " Thank you." "I'll see you out." "What's that, Septime?" "Oh, it's thursday, Baron." "It's President Novales going to the Elysee Palace." "We'll be caught in the traffic jam!" "Once you've dropped me off at the Elysee, don't forget to reserve a table at Septime's for dinner." " But Excellency.." " I said Septime's." "♪" "M. Septime." " What?" " Look, look!" "Where?" "There." "Voilà." "Write it down." " Oh no!" " Oh yes!" "Thank you, little Roger." " Have a lozenge, M. Septime?" " No thanks, that's kind of you." "Please!" "Monsieur?" "Voilà." "What is it?" "I've stained my suit." "Don't touch it, wait." "No, don't move." "Keep your hands there." "No, it's there." "There." "Oh, M. Minister." "M. Minister." "M. Secretary of State." " Oh!" " M. Undersecretary of State." " Mm!" " M. er..." " Oh, never mind." "My old Septime, I haven't told you the best one yet!" "You'll make me laugh Minister!" "Get this, one day my Chief of Cabinet..." " It's so droll!" " Wait, would you." "So, my Chief of Cabinet asks me... ♪" "♪" "♪ Pfff!" "♪ turns out it was his sister!" "He's very sharp, very spiritual, and a charming lad." "My dear friend." "Police Division Commissioner." "May I present 2 colleagues from abroad." "Commendatore Riganti." "Oh, come sta?" "[How do you do]" "And his German colleague Dr. Muller." "Sehr angenehm. [great pleasure]" "I took the liberty of promising Dr Muller you'd give him your potato soufflé recipe." "Ja, ja, s'il vous plaît." "You know that's a professional secret." "Just between us..." "For you Mr. Division Commissioner." "Alright, you get ein kilogramm Kartoffeln" "Fur wieviel Personen?" "It depends, sechs Personen normales" "Or else ein Person abnormale - ein gross Person." "So, ein kilogramm Kartoffeln." "Ein liter Milch." "Drei Eier. [3 eggs]" "Neunzig Gramm Butter." "Salz und Muskatnuss." "Muskatnuss. [nutmeg]" "I'll repeat, Herr Muller." "Ich wiederhole." "Ein kilogramm Kartoffeln." "Ein liter Milch." "Drei Eier." "Neunzig gramm Butter." "Salz und..." "Und..." "Muskatnuss!" "Muskatnuss, Herr Muller!" "Signor Riganti." "Commissioner." "Haben Sie verstanden, Herr Muller?" "Ja." "Auf Wiedersehen, Herr Muller." "Your coat." "Leaving during the dinner rush?" "Oh, lala!" "Gotta run." "You've got something up your sleeve." "Maybe I should order an inquest." "I'm going to see my old mother." "She's 90 years old and this tall." "She won't grow anymore, you know." "Au revoir, gentlemen, see you soon." "Messieurs, the soufflé." "Monsieur." "Eh, hold on..." "Did you see that?" "Look." "See it?" "Where?" "It's a bit over the top." "They'll think it's bizarre." "But I'm curious to know what they think about me and how they treat the clients, when I'm out." "Oh, my rascals!" "I think I have an idea." " Bonjour, monsieur." " Bonjour." "Is the boss not in?" "No, M. Septime is out." " That should make you happy." " Why would I find it satisfying?" "Not too late for dinner, am I?" "Not at all." "If Sir would take a seat" "Sir will be served whatever he likes." "Would you take care of this gentleman." "Bonjour, monsieur, this way." "My God!" "Is the boss not in?" "M. Septime is out." "You ought to be happy." " You ought to be happy!" " Well, I..." " Hey, are you happy?" " Eh, yes." " Pardon!" " Think nothing of it." "Brrr!" "There's a draught in here." "Sometimes you run into a draught." "I'll take that table there." "Certainly, monsieur." "Anyway, Septime is an unfair man." "Don't you find him unfair?" " Ah... well..." " He's unfair!" "You said, unfair, huh?" " Yes..." "I won't press you to elaborate." "♪ It's just fine, here." " Oh là là!" " It's nothing." "Let's see now... ♪♪ [FF]" "If I had to choose between the piano and the cold, I'd prefer the grippe." "I want to sit a bit more..." "Let's go there." " That's reserved, monsieur." " Never mind." "There, OK?" "Thank you." " Ayayay, excuse me." " It's nothing." "Wait..." "Let's see, let's see." "♪ pumpumparum... ♪ parumpum..." "I've just had a poetic idea." " Sir writes?" " Poetry." "Voilà, 2 rhymes." "Permit me to recommend the duck a la rouennaise." "Le canard à la rouennaise..." "Roast boar au vélours..." " Au 'vélours'?" " Au velours." "Ah yes, au velours!" "Rabbit à la cabriole." "Oh, la cabriole!" "Now, that, I wouldn't recommend." "You wouldn't recommend the rabbit?" "Hang on, I just had another poetic idea." "Fine, bring me a radish." " How's that?" " A radish." "A radish." "Very good, monsieur and then?" "If I'm still hungry, you can bring me a yoghurt." "A yoghurt." "But quickly." "I'm in a hurry." "It shall be rapid, monsieur." "No, leave the menu." " Ah!" "..." " Monsieur?" "With a radish, what would you advise?" "Sir could have a little Muscadet." "Is it dry or sweet?" "Rather dry." "It needs to be rather sweet." "A Sauternes." " Is it sweet?" " Very sweet." "Not too sweet?" "Yes it's sweet." "Would you like a demi-sec?" "No, I'd prefer a demi-sweet." "Listen, give me that, you don't know..." "I'll handle it." "Wait." "How's your Evian water?" "It's very fresh!" " Ah." " And your Perrier?" " Also." "All right, give me a Perrier;" "luke-warm, lightly sparkling." "Not 'POPOPOP', but rather 'pupupip'." "Don't grab, take it easy!" "Oh no, I asked for a radish." "'A' radish." "Voila, that's all." "Oh hey, I don't have a knife." " Voila." "Oh, I don't need it now." "[Inaudible]" "Phfff!" "♪ [piano]" "♪" "Ah!" "You dropped it." "And ten, makes fifty." " Thank you." "♪" "Did Sir dine well?" "Would Sir like dessert?" "Perhaps a carrot for monsieur?" "Sprinkled with salt... ah, euh..." "Aah!" "M. Septime!" "Shh!" "Shh!" "Filthy bastard!" "What about professionalism?" "French tradition?" "The restaurant craft, huh?" "Forgot all about it?" "The grandeur, the nobility?" "Bastard!" "Bastard!" "Mmmm!" "Mmmm!" "Making fun of me, now?" "Ouf!" "Ah!" "Oh!" "Sorry, Mademoiselle but I don't know when" "M. Septime will return." "I'm here." "Go away." "Good!" "He's gone." "He came in wearing a wig." "First, this table." "No, that one, then, that one!" "Then, the menu..." "A radish!" "..." "A carrot!" "Then, woosh!" "Bastard, bastard!" "Phfft!" "My God, my God!" "I hope, to demonstrate we're worthy of his Excellency's choice." "Never has a chief of state so..." " M. Septime, please..." "We'd like to choose a table." "M. Septime, I'm in charge of the President's security." "I'd like to inspect the premises." " Nothing would be simpler." "[Inaudible]" "Voila." "Mademoiselle." "So many crowned heads have sat in my restaurant!" "This way, Mademoiselle." " Table 15, perhaps?" " No, no." "Oh, 8, look!" " Especially not 8!" " Why?" "His Excellency, the President is very superstitious." " '8' in our country..." " Ours too." " How about 13, then?" " 13, yes." "The Queen of England, on her last trip to Paris, sat there." "She sat there, all tiny..." "The Prince, there, and the Royal children, there..." "So, no special menus?" "No, the President has complete confidence in you." "He loves surprises." "I'll do my utmost to please his Excellence." "Oh, there is one thing!" "His Excellence insists on savouring your special dessert." "Ah, Septime's pyramid!" "Pyramide à la Septime!" "Tell his Excellency, that for him, Septime will surpass himself." "Monsieur, everything all right?" "Yes but, are you sure of your employees?" "Hyper-sure, 3 of them are policemen's sons." "I mean, harboring grudges, that sort of thing, you know." "Our clients' satisfaction is the only policy of the house." "Thank you." "Hmmmmmm!" "Hmmmmmm." "Fine, until tonigh, M. Septime." "I'll see you out, hmm!" "My God!" "Ah!" "Messieurs, you are the downfall of French restauration." "My God!" "4th brigade, report at 16:30 hours in the rehearsal hall for a course on Comedy as Applied to Restauration" " Again?" " Again and again!" "My God!" "You too!" "It wouldn't harm you if you came." "Smile, dammit!" "Smile!" "Not bad." "Faster, you!" "Not bad, go on." "No!" "Bloody hell, get back here!" "I told you a hundred times, how your posture should be!" "Like so, natural, normal." "Voila." "Catch that!" "You break it, you bought it." "Go on, like that." "Not bad!" "Your turn." "Quick!" "♪" "Enough!" " ♪" " Shut up!" " ♪" " Shut up!" "♪♪" "Go ahead." "No, no good, come here." "Let me explain it to you." "Don't forget, you're in the kitchen, here." "And beyond this door is the dining room." "In the dining room you serve!" "And to serve, is to smile!" "A smile, equals a tip from the client!" "Voilà!" "Gimme that, I'll show you." "Here, I have problems," "Everybody has problems, but we must serve and we will serve." "Let's go." "and I smile..." "All right, now," "Roger is going to show us how it's done." "There!" "So, you have problems." " Ohh!" "You must serve!" "Smile, and off you go!" "Ah!" "I have no idea, M. Septime." "It may be the pulley." "The pulley, surely." "Stand clear or Cesar may hit you with the door." "Stand clear." "Seems better, now." "Quite well, actually." "All right, stand there." "Here, take that." "Let's go again." "So, you've got problems." "You just had some problems, unfortunately." "and again." "You serve." "You smile." "Off you go!" "That was you." "You did that!" "Come here, Roger." "Come here" "It wasn't me, M. Septime." "Mark down his punishment." " Oh, no!" " Shall I write?" " Go ahead." " No!" " That'll be... 20 menus to copy out for homework by tonight." "And I'm adding 10 more for tomorrow." " No, Sir..." " In Gothic!" " In Gothic?" " In Gothic!" "Oh my God, my God!" "You're getting on my nerves with your 'my Gods'!" "I know you disapprove of my methods." "What have we come to!" "But these are modern methods!" "Get used to it, nya!" "Oh my God!" "Shh!" "Ah, M. Septime, I was looking for you." "Here I am." "I was tidying up in the cellar and there's no..." "Can you repeat that?" "I was tidying up in the cellar and there's no more..." "No more Nuits-St-Georges '49, is that it?" " Voila." " Voila." "I'll have some cases delivered." " Very kind, thank you." "Let me ask you, can you write Gothic?" "Ah, yes, it's quite difficult." "Quite difficult..." "We'll talk again later." "No we'll see if everyone understood this lesson!" "Everyone get your accessories and take your places." "You two, doing nothing, put all this stuff over there!" "You two, sweep up, hop to it!" "Allez!" "'My-God-my-God', I know it's degrading." "Now, everyone together." "Let's go!" "Go." "♪" "One second, I'm counting!" "Alright, 3, 4." "♪ [ballet exercices]" "♪" "♪" "Leave." "You, here." "Was I alright, M. Septime?" "Not bad, my little Roger." "Two-faced suck-up." "Watch it, you." "3, 4." "♪" "♪" "♪Pliée, leg out and hup!" "♪" "♪[minor chord]" "♪ [Kossack dance]" "♪ [wild]" "Hey!" "Hey!" "Hey!" "Hey!" "Hey!" "Hey!" "Hey!" "Hey!" "Hey, hey, hey!" "Hey!" "Stop!" "What's got into you?" "What's all this collective madness?" "That's right." "It was him, M. Septime." "What possessed you to accelerate, huh?" "If I didn't stop, where would this bacchanal have ended up?" "Provocateur!" "You're right, little Roger." "Everybody, line up!" "You'll pay for that." "You'll see." "Line up!" "Go there, you." "You'll pay dearly for that." "Somebody tripped you." "Who did it?" "Oh, bravo!" "A mutiny?" "A mutiny, oh my God!" "You'll pay for that tomorrow." "Why tomorrow, M. Septime?" "Because tonight a prestigious guest of France," "President Novales, honors us with his visit." "Don't forget, our restaurant is the ambassador of French gastronomy!" "And by serving tonight, you serve France!" "You 'provocateur', listen up." "Listen well." "♪ [military march]" "♪" "♪" "♪" " ♪ Listen!" "♪" "Make an arrangement of that for tonight." "Tonight?" "You have 2 hours, it'll be fine." "There's at least 30 musicians in..." "It'll be even easier." "Do it for 3 instruments!" "Say, does your violin play the flute?" "The flute?" "Fine, never mind." "Julien, come here." "Tell me..." "Open your eyes when I speak to you, dammit!" "Wake up!" "Say didn't your father play the cello in his day?" "Ah, yes, papa played the cello." "Fine you'll be cellist for tonight." "Say... when the President arrives, to start off the anthem" "I'll give you a signal." "Very discreet, like so." "For exemple, let's suppose..." "I do: ♪Tagadagada!" "♪Ta ta tsang, tsang ta tsang, tagada gadang... ♪Ta ta ta tsang, tata..." "You're not mocking me, I hope!" "Watch it." "♪Ta ta tsang ta ta tsang tagada gadang!" "♪Ta ta ta tsang tagada tatata tsang tsang!" "♪" "♪" "♪" "Oh!" "Senor Presidente, Senorita, Senor!" "[SPAN]" "Que gusto, tan..." "M. Septime, I beg you, I'm starving!" "Ha-ha, ha-ha!" "Oh, excuse me!" "Where's...?" "Ah, there he is." "Hmmm!" "Hmmm!" "Come." "Pardon." "Voila!" "After you..." "Hmmm!" "Get the door!" "♪ [soothing]" "♪" "This way." "♪" "Ah, hmm!" "This way, Mr. President." "Excellence." "Mademoiselle." "♪ FF [Militay march: discordant]" "♪" "♪" "♪" "♪" "♪" "♪" "These gentlemen will take care of you, Mr. Président." "I'll be back shortly." "Hmm!" "Bastard!" "You'll pay dearly for that." "Shameful, you know!" "Oh!" "Oh!" "Ooh, ooh!" "♪" "Don't touch that!" "No manners at all!" " What's going on?" " He touched that." "Don't touch it!" "I'm in charge here!" "Me!" " Where's your toque?" " I don't have one." "Look here, really..." "Yeah, maybe." "Not you." "My godson will drive." "I like your little godson." "And you, remember." "In the dining room, shut your trap!" "Is that caramel?" "Yes, none of your business!" "Move out." "Go." "Yes, I know I'm a coward." "So what?" "Move it, godson!" "Ah, bello!" "Bravo, M. Septime." "Alcohol," "Oh my God!" "What was that?" "Don't panic!" "It was a surprise." "Don't panic!" "It was a surprise." "A little surprise!" "El Presidente?" " Huh?" "El Presidente esta desaparecido!" "Where is the Presidente?" "He's here.." "No, not here!" " The President?" " He's here, he's here!" " Where?" " Well, he was here!" "No, the Président's disappeared M Septime!" " The Président?" "They've kidnapped the President!" "Donde esta?" "He was frightened by the surprise, and went out for a stroll!" "Wait." "He's not here." "He pulled a prank on us!" " I'll call the police." " Go, go." "Where is he?" "Mr President!" "What are you looking at?" "You, move!" "President!" "Where's the President?" "Not here!" "What?" "!" "Have you never seen me before?" "Mr. President!" "Not there." "Let me pass, you!" "What's that on your face?" " Leave me alone!" "Did you see a gentleman... a very strong, big, burly, leader of men, around here?" "Burly guy;" "I know only one." "That's me!" " Now look here, Marcel." " Yes?" "Now, that's not nice." "Not nice, You're not nice." "At Septime's." "Yes, the restaurant." "Thank you" "It's done." "I called the police." "They'll be here in a few minutes." " Well M. Septime?" " Sit, sit." "I just saw him, he'll be here shortly." "Voila, it's nothing at all!" "Music!" "Tsang zing!" "♪" "Outta my way!" "♪" "M. Septime, did you really see him?" "He's here, he's coming, there!" "♪" "Not here?" "He's coming!" "What happened to you?" "What's that on your face?" "Nothing, we'll find him." " Who?" "We'll find him, all right." "But, don't talk to the police or my restaurant is screwed." "In that case, completely screwed." "But, we'll find him, all right." " Who's that?" " I don't know." "Everything's all right." "Everything's all right!" "All right!" "[HEAD OF STATE KIDNAPPED IN FAMOUS FRENCH RESTAURANT]" "Yes, everything's all right!" "Everything's even improving!" "A head of state, a guest in our country is kidnapped in public in your restaurant." "France's honor is at stake." "Diplomatic complications in the offing." "A declaration of war would make it the apotheosis of pleasentness." "Really, nothing to bother the police about, at all!" "I panicked, I lost my head!" "Have you found it?" " What?" " YOUR HEAD!" " Yes, it's here." " Good!" "Now, get this inside your head." " Yes." "A president has disappeared in your place." " Yes." " He must be found." "It's not my fault!" "He disappeared in your place, yes or no?" " Yes." "That makes you suspect number one." " Impossible!" "What would I do with a président?" "I have more use for a kitchen chef than a Chief of State!" "You find that funny?" "No, I was just saying..." "Me neither." "A kidnapping like this isn't simply improvised." "The terrorists certainly had someone's complicity" "Complicity?" "Where?" "In your death-trap!" "I won't permit you to..." "Are you sure of your personnel?" "As sure as of myself!" " OK..." "Then, let's talk about you." "Hm?" "You're a bachelor, as far as I know." "Yes, yes..." "At your age?" "Well built, as you are?" " No..." " Oh, yes!" "Do you find it normal?" "Tell me about your relationships." "You get my drift?" "Given my restaurant's standing I know pretty much all of Paris." "Do you take me for an imbecile?" "Tell me about your private life, it won't leave this room." "And neither will you if you fuck with me!" "My 'joie de vivre', is my restaurant!" "All my passion is..." "Don' tell me your recipe for happiness is limited to 'apple charlottes' and 'goose liver canapes'?" "Listen" "I'll tell you everything." "At the age of sixteen, I entered the kitchen..." " Like entering a holy order?" " That's it." "I'm warning you,'Father' if you don't want me to shut down your monastery." "I have the authority, by God!" "So show me your good faith." "How?" "By cooperating with my department." "Oh my God!" "Certain countrymen of President Novales, mostly militairy types opposed to his regime, left the country, the moment he took power." "Our police has a description of some terrorists hiding in France." "They've formed a secret organisation." "'Foreign Affairs' has sent us this document." "Come look." "Do any of these faces resemble any of your clients?" "No, Commissioner, not the type who frequent my establishment." "Not at all." "♪ [South American]" "♪" "♪" "What's with you guys?" "You got the date mixed up?" "We were supposed to nab him at the end of the week, at the airport." "Where'd you put him?" "Well?" "We didn't kidnap anybody." "Nobody!" "What, nobody?" "We were waiting for orders." "We read about it in the press." "We don't get any of it." "So, who took him?" "Who?" "It can only be another clandestine, parallel organisation" "But which one?" "Ah, the traitors!" "They'll pay for this!" "First we've got to get our hands on them!" "There is a way;" "back at the source." "The restaurant." "Right." "Meanwhile, we watch Septime all day." "We'll meet up at this place this evening." "Don't let him out of your sight!" "They're interrogating him, now." "Go immediately." "Execute your order, General!" "Aye, aye, Captain." "I'll give you these photographs." "If one of the 3 terrorists shows up at your restaurant phone me immediately." "What if I'm being watched?" "If I can't speak freely?" " Because my telephone..." " Yes, yes, I see." " So we..." " Yes!" "Sneeze." " Eh?" "You sneeze 3 times, we'll get the message, and I'll come." "I hope, everything works out and I won't need to make you taste my 'house specialty'." "What specialty?" "You take a nice plump suspect, surround him with 4 beefy inspectors." "You simmer him for 48 hours in the steamer." "That will loosen the most laconic of tongues." "Catch my drift?" "Yes, Mr. Division Commissioner" "Do it!" "Yes... 'My Stern Visionary'." "Ah, hhm!" "That's him!" "Leave me alone!" "Don't touch, I have nothing to say!" "You sonofa...!" "Leave me alone!" "Let's go." "Police, terrorists... what else?" "Bonjour, M. Septime." "What the...?" "You don't seem happy to see me again?" "Oh yes, hmmm!" "I'm overjoyed!" " Overjoyed?" "He's overjoyed!" "While the benefactor of an entire people is in the hands of torturers!" "And it's your fault!" " Listen..." "M. Septime, you must make amends." " What amends?" "Was it your restaurant where our beloved president was abducted?" "Yes, or no?" "Well... uh, yes." "In our country that would get you 'chot'." "Try your luck!" "Who doesn't have a ticket?" "Today's your lucky day" "Mira!" "(look SP)" " Don't start this again!" " It wasn't my fault." "Listen, you'll help me find those jackals." "You will flush the wolves from their den." "You're going to provoke them." "Tell the newspapers, you saw them and can recognize them." " But it's not true!" " It doesn't matter." "The terrorists will believe it." "They'll kill me!" "Sure, but they must show themselves to kill you." "Then we round them up and 'choot' them." "round them up and 'choot' them..." "Yes, we 'choot' them before they kill you." "What, if they kill me before you 'choot' them?" "Choose: them later, or me now." "Aah!" "Oh!" "Maniac!" "(Assassin) 00:42:25,851 -- 00:42:26,851 ♪ [action]" "♪" "Oh, man!" "That takes the biscuit!" "So what did you decide?" " Listen..." " What?" "Mademoiselle, can't we talk about this" " in a calmer place?" " Where?" "I dunno, how about dinner one evening in my restaurant?" "Not ONE evening, THIS evening!" "♪ [soft]" "OK?" "Everything fine?" "OK?" "All right?" " All right?" " All right." "Mmm!" "Mmmm!" "This way." "Pardon." "There." " Made your choice, M. Septime?" " Yes, I've chosen a great table." "You know, very well, what I mean!" "Have you taken time to think about me?" "I haven't stopped thinking." "Seriously, have you considered my proposition, or not?" "After the dinner rush." "It's just starting to pop." "For you, it'd be better before any popping starts." "M. Septime." "We're out of lobster." "This is horrible!" " What do we do?" " Must sneeze... sneeze." "Atchoo, One!" "Atchoo, two!" "Atchoo, three." "Got it?" "Bravo, keep them there, we're coming!" "Hurry, hurry!" "Yes, coming." "One tiny second, hmm." "I say." "It's all right, I sneezed." "The police is coming." "Trapped like a rats." "I sneezed." "Look." "Calm down!" "You'll wreck everything." "It's all set, leave it to me." "I'll go string them along." "[snap]" "I'm all yours." "M. Septime, the chef is mad!" "Why, what's wrong?" "He wants to see you, here." "Tell him to stay there" "I'll go see him and show him a thing or two!" "I'm busy, here!" "May I help you?" "Oh, pardon!" "Sientese." "Sientese aqui!" "(Sit)" "Muy parecido. (Good likeness)" "Buen fotografo!" "(Good photographer)" "Aficionado!" "(loves his work)" "I don't understand Spanish." "Usted comprende muy bien!" "(You understand very well)" " Yes, that's true." "Tenemos que hablar un rato (We need to speak a while)" "Y nos va invitar a tomar su mejor champana!" "(You'll treat us to your best champagne)" "Voila." "Messieurs." "M. Septime is offering us his best champagne." "Impossible!" "I don't understand what you're saying." "[Indistinct] ... police." "Are you mocking us?" " No!" "Just ... if it's dry, or sweet." "His best champagne!" "El mejor!" "I'll go with him." " Sientes!" "(sit)" "[Siren, distant]" "That's a firetruck." " No!" "Yes it's a firetruck." "No firetrucks go Ti-La, Ti-La. (B-A)" "A police car goes, Re-La, Re-La. (D-A)" "[Siren]" "That's Ti-La, Ti-La." "It's Re-La, Re-La!" "That's Ti-La, Ti-La!" "No, it's Re-La, Re-La!" "La musica otro dia." "La policia esta ya." "Let's go!" " You're leaving?" " With you." " The champagne?" " At home." " The bill..." "The bill's all yours." "[Siren]" " Well?" " Atchoo!" "Atchoo!" "I got it." "Where are they?" "...hind me." "There's nobody behind you." "Where are they?" "Where are they, I'll gouge out their eyes!" "You let them get away, imbecile!" "Officer, get rid of this hysterical woman." "Monsieur, don't forget you're speaking to" "President Novales' secretary." "Excuse me, Mademoiselle." "My respects." "Cut the monkeyshines and go after them!" " After who?" "Didn't Mr. Greasy-spoon tell you?" " Oh, please!" "After the terrorists!" " Where are they?" " Far away by now!" "I explained 15 times I sneezed 5 times." "You didn't get it!" "You don't know anything!" "I don't know anything?" "!" " Zilch!" "Insulting a representative of the law while exercising his functions." "We'll put you up, nice and cozy, for the night..." "Officer!" "This, I will not tolerate!" "I will not tolerate this!" "Let me go!" "I order you to let me go!" "Let me go!" "How shameful!" "I'll complain to the Minister!" "Wait, I'll be back." "Leave us." "So..." "I hope this night of meditation was profitable for you." "M. Commissioner..." "I'll be magnanimous, you're free." " Fine." "Your car's by the gate." " So, it finished up all right?" " All fine." "Now, the terrorists will try to slaughter you at the first opportunity." "How that?" "You have nothing to fear, you're under our protection, see?" "We're restarting the operation." "Look you have no choice" "It's your last chance." " What signal do I do?" "* - [whistles]" "Good bye, Mr. Divisive Missionary Uh Mr Divan... oh" "There he is!" "..." " Woah, oh!" "Bonjour, Septime." " Huh?" "Don't turn around." "Continue straight ahead." "You'll be very wise to obey me." "Oh, no!" "We'll take a little stroll." "To speak we'll need a much quieter spot." " No!" "We'll resume our interview, shortly." "Direction: parc de St-Cloud." " Oh, no!" " Understand?" " Yes, parc de St-Cloud." "Above all, be prudent." "Don't forget your life's at stake." "No, no, no..." "Move along!" "Don't you see where you are?" "Come." "C'mere!" "Pretend it's nothing." "Look around casually." "Tell me if there a terrorist hidden in the back seat." "On it, under it, I don't know, but he's there." "Look!" "No, no, discretely!" "He's there, huh!" "Is he there?" "You're lucky I'm in a good mood, or you'd be dealing with my billy-club." "Now, move!" "Officer, I tell you he's there, hidden in the back seat." "He wants to murder me!" "He's a killer!" "He wants to kill me." "Check yourself." "There's no one in the back seat." "He must have gone, or maybe he's in the trunk!" " Ah, in the trunk?" " In the trunk." "OK, let's look in the trunk." " Ah, no!" " Sure, sure!" "Come on." " Are you armed?" " Yeah, don't worry!" " He's dangerous watch out." " It's all right." "Don't worry, don't get upset!" "Ah, he's gone" " He's not there!" " No one!" "He spoke to me, I tell you." "He spoke to me!" "He can't be far!" " Sure, he's gone!" " He's not underneath?" " Gone!" " He spoke to me!" "Go home." "Have a nice long nap." " Not underneath?" " No, he's gone." "Move along, he won't speak to you anymore." " He's not in the back?" " No, not at all." " Thank you officer." " That's OK, move along." " Septime?" " Impossible!" "What you did was very irrational." "Very imprudent." " Don't do it again." " No, no." "Continue without turning around as I said, to parc de St-Cloud." "It's a peaceful spot where I can have your full attention." "♪ [S. American]" "♪" " Now, get out." " Yes." "Come sit in the back with me." " Let's chat awhile." " Yes, yes." "Sit!" "No, I'm not the Invisible Man." "Look closer, Septime." "I'm behind you." "Lift the newspaper." "Voila, that's me!" "Now listen quietly." "I didn't arrange this whole affair, as you can see, to transmit aunt Lucie's latest recipe." "You'll be liquidated on the spot if you don't execute my orders scrupulously." "They're simple." "You'll ask for an audience with the Minister." "The Division Comissioner, you just left, will help you." "There I'll tell them:" "Yes, Minister yes, gentlemen," "President Novales is in our hands." "We didn't abduct him for political ideals." "We're simply a small independent group, beyond all parties, which seeks to live without compromise." "And we've decided that if a sum of 200 million in Treasury bonds is not remitted to us within 3 days, by the honorable M. Septime, not only will he be killed on the spot, but President Novales" "shall face a firing squad, with all the honors due to his rank." "I'll let you imagine the disastrous repercussions for France, on the international scene, if you abandon your pretigious guest to such a drastic fate." "M. Septime, the deliverer of the ransom, will receive our instructions." "An itinerary will be communicated to him one item at a time during his movements." "Rendez-vous tomorrow morning for our next transmission." "Listen for us at 11 o'clock." "What do you expect, my dear fellow?" " We can't get out of this." " Exactly, Minister." "If President Novales were executed, we'd look a fine bunch of bastards." "What about me Minister?" "Yes, you, of course." "But him, him!" "All that's left for us, is to gather the sum, and for you to be worthy of our confidence in you." " Minister." " Come on, my friend." "Don't worry, old man." "It'll all work out, you'll see." "That, I will see." "Try to think of something else." "I'll take care of everything." "I'll phone you tomorrow to give you the sum." "Eh... will I have to sneeze?" "I don't see the need." "And get some sleep!" "I want to see a Septime in top form." " This way?" " Yes." "Good night, Commissioner." "See, Minister, everything's going very well." "Working marvellously!" "Still your machination seems a bit macchiavelian." "It's progress in the service of old principles, Minister." "Bait!" "The right bait, like fishing." "Imagine the terrorists' reaction when they find out, they kidnapped the President, only for others to profit from their deed to the tune of 200 million." "They'll show themselves, probably." "They'll follow our brave Septime, and all we need to do is round them up." "But 200 million roaming about in the wild!" "You could've limited the risk to 50." "It wouldn't have looked serious, Minister." "So shall we launch the operation from your Bureau?" "Ah no, my dear fellow!" "Your Bureau..." "Permit me!" "It's your idea, not mine." " But..." "Tomorrow, I'll get the whole sum from the Treasury, and bring it to you." "Thank you, so much, Minister." "Voila, my dear Septime." "Drop off this ransom at the spot they'll fix, and then telephone me." "If I can." "I hope, Commissioner." "Come on, show some guts!" "You just do your duty." "We'll do ours." "You're not gonna have me followed, are you?" "Because you heard, if you're watching me, they won't hesitate to execute me." "Especially the President!" "They'll execute the President!" "Well, me anyway, I'll be executed." " Septime." " Yes." "Look at my face." "Is my word enough for you?" "Yes, uh..." "The whole of France has its eyes fixed on you." "Ah, uh, pff..." "If you accomplish your mission, she will certainly be grateful." "No?" "The same one?" "I promise." "The same colour?" "Er..." "Yes." "Mmm!" "Bon voyage, Septime." "Mmm!" " Well?" "It's done." "Satellite Septime is in orbit, we just need to steer remotely." " What if it fails?" " We risk nothing." "How's that, nothing?" "We don't need a man like Septime to teach us, you can't make an omelette without cracking eggs!" "A 200 million F omelette a la Septime is some feast!" "We'll never lose sight nor sound of him!" "Very good, I find this very audacious." "If you would." " Please." " Pardon." "He's coming." "You'll see." "11 o'clock." "Demonstration." "Pardon." "Hello, Septime!" "Go to the newspaper kiosque." "We'll make him turn around the kiosque." "Stop!" "Turn around the kiosque!" "Faster!" "Faster!" "Stop!" "Straight ahead, now." "Stop!" "Go to your car." "Septime!" "I said your car." "Will you get in your car, or not?" "Execute your order and await my instructions." "Meanwhile, rest and gather your strength." "We're gonna send you on a long voyage." "Voila." "Pardon, Minister." " Promising." " Just a simple trial run." "Minister, everything will go smoothly." "All I have to do is inform the radio and the press." ""This heroic little Frenchman will be the messenger of last hope, etc, etc..." "Ah, those low-lifes!" "How dare they demand a ransom!" "Traditions are dying, Captain." "You can't find men capable of risking their lives for honour, anymore." "We will prove we are such men!" "But first we intercept that ransom for our noble cause." "We can't let such a sum fall into corrupt hands." "Still, we've got to be wary, Septime may be under surveillance." "Let's start by just following him." "But at the first opportunity, pfft!" "Septime!" " Yes." "After the next tunnel, go towards the pass." "Over." "♪ [spy music]" "♪" "♪" "♪" "There he is." "Go." "We'll fix a rendez-vous point in due time." "For now go straight." "Yes." "Keep in mind we're always nearby." "Eh, yeah." "Perfect." "They'll soon start circling our patsy and through them we'll get President Novales." "It's all about waiting in the shadows." "Only from the shadows can you see clearly." "Excellent idea, Comissioner." "You surprised us." " Oh, really?" "♪ [Cha-cha]" "♪" "♪" "♪" "Here we'll go ahead of Septime." "The best way to tail people, is to precede them." "Especially when you know where they're going." "No risk of losing him." "Let's go." "Hit the road." "Are we gonna drag this out for long?" "We're just surveiling him to see where that leads." "There's snow, now." "Here comes the snow." "Seem they're starting to bite." "What do our clients look like, chief?" "A convertible." "Followed by an American car." "And leading the parade is our friend Septime." "Followed closely by a ravishing blonde." "Charming!" "She's followed by a limousine which look full to bursting." "It's working!" "Go." "Hello, Septime?" "Yes?" "In 3 minutes you'll reach the pass at Roche Noire." " Yes." "After the pass, you go through a village... then take a right in the direction of Val d'Isere." "I repeat: after the pass, direction;" "Val d'Isere!" "Val d'Isere..." "Hotel de la Poste, 2 stars." "Frogs' legs à la savoyarde,.." "saddle of lamb en chevreuil with sauce poivrade." "Mmmm!" "Fine, let's move on to the next stage of the operation." "Go!" "My respects, Division Chief." "It's all ready." "This way please." "Perfect." "The garage is at the end, Inspector." "Handle our brave Septime without scaring him too much." "Hello, Septime, can you hear me?" " Septime." " Yes." "Don't forget you're transporting all our hopes." "Yes." " Cereful, the road is slippery." " Ah yes, thanks." "In case of a skid, never brake." " Yes." "Always accelerate steering in the reverse direction of the skid." "Reverse?" "What about the Stop sign?" "After him." "Ah, those imbeciles!" "They'll wreck everything!" "They're always around when you don't need them." "This wasn't part of the programme." "If they catch him, he's done for." "[Sirens]" "Motorcycle cops, now!" "What do they want?" "[Sirens]" "[Sirens]" "Tell him to outrun them!" "Septime!" "If you let the police catch you, you'll be executed." "Go, quick!" "Hurry." "Don't wait, start up and gun it!" "[Whistle]" "They lost ground, it's all right." "Our M. Septime is decidedly very good!" "I lost them." "There they are again!" "I'm screwed." "In case of a skid..." "What did he say?" "In case of a skid, break in reverse..." "I can't remember." "Block..." "They're closer." "Ah, I'm screwed." "I'm screwed." "Here!" "Go down a bit." "Here comes our first client." "See, my trick worked fine!" " Oh yeah." "Let's see, if she's interested in Septime." "Tell him to gun it." "Hello, Septime?" "Faster Septime, faster!" "Faster, faster, faster" "That's easy to say, on the mike." "Gun it!" "I can't!" "Can't!" " Faster, Septime!" " I can't." " Faster, Septime!" " I can't." " Faster, Septime, faster!" " I can't." "She doesn't like the cops." "Perfect!" "She must be in on it." "Here come the friends of the family." "A proper procession." "It get better and better." "[whistle]" "It's getting complicated." "Accelerate!" "[whistle] Aah!" "Ah, shit!" "I think I lost them." "It's all right now." "What's that?" "Aah!" "Aah!" "Ahh!" "Ahh!" "Let's take that car." "Quick!" "I can't." "I can't take it any more!" "JI can't take any more!" " Ayi!" " Come on!" "Quick." "Hurry up!" "Go, go!" "Look, mademoiselle..." "There they are again." "We mustn't lose sight of them." " I saved your life." " Oh, good." "We had to shake the cops." " Why?" "Because they would've killed the President and you'd be dead too, now" "So, I saved your life." "Thank you." "Put on your seatbelt." "Huh?" "Yes." "Watch out!" "Rapido, mas rapido!" "There they are!" "No risk of losing them here." "Let's go!" "They're following us." "Who?" "Who?" "Doesn't matter." "Better not to know." " Faster!" "Faster, faster, faster!" "Full speed!" "Go!" "Go!" "We've got to stop them." "Shoot their tires." "[Gunfire]" "[Gunfire]" "Traitors!" "I'll have them 'chot'!" "At the moment they're doing all the shooting, huh!" "[Gunfire]" "We'll get them in the valley." "Move out!" "Aaah!" "Aaah!" "I think we got'em!" "♪ [Waltz]" "♪" "♪" "♪ Ai ai!" "♪ Oi!" "♪" "♪" "♪" "♪" "♪" "♪" "♪" "Aaah!" "[horn]" "Ah, the road's improving." "Oh no, oh no!" "I don't see them." "We lost them." "You think so?" "Don't move." "Ah!" "Ow!" "Oh!" "Ahahh!" "Ah, Mr. Division Comissioner!" "You here?" "What a nice surprise!" "Comissioner!" "..." "Is it over?" "Is it finished?" " Is it finished?" " Yes, it's finished." "If you'll follow me." "Hup!" "Oh!" "Comissioner..." "If you didn't abduct the President why did you want the ransom?" "So the others wouldn't get it!" " What others?" "The ones who snatched him!" "I don't know where the President is." "I didn't abduct him." " Tu es un escandalo!" "Fraccionar el pais de esta manera!" "Desgraciado, sin verguenza (Wretch, shameless)" "Traidor!" "Cobarde!" " He's a tough one." " No kidding!" "I don't know how to take him." " You take him by his pinky and twist like that!" "Let me at him, I'll take care of him!" "No, not her, not her!" "Do you want to find the President, or not?" "Mademoiselle, unfortunately, in our country certain methods are are not authorized by law." "So, there was really no point to your Revolution!" "Que gente!" "(Such people!" ")" " Comissioner." " Yes." " Hm, oh..." " Yes." "Can I have a word, over there?" " Yes." "It's getting late." " Voui*." "You must be tired." " Oh voui*." "I'd like to leave." " Voui*?" " Yes" "Shall I get coat?" " Voui*" " Will you join me?" " Voui, voui, voui*." "You're leaving, Septime?" "At such a moment?" "I'm a bit tired and I don't think tonight you'll find your restaurant..." "er... your President." "Voila!" "The life of people's hero is at stake, and M. Septime thinks only of his bistro!" "Mademoiselle, we need both, we need heros and bistros!" "Soup merchant!" " Arrgh!" " My friend..." "Tienes otra cosa que un hombre despreciado..." "I definitely prefer nordic types." "Hear that?" ""Soup merchant!"" "Anyway, it didn't go too badly." " No!" " Fine." "I'm happy to have contributed..." "My compliments!" " Thank you Commissioner." " After you." "Say, on the subject of compliments..." "Remember you were going to mention to the Minister..." " About the..." " Right." "I'll see to it." "WE'LL see to it!" "We'll speak about it tonight." "I'll dine at your place to get things back to normal." "Fo such an occasion I'll prepare stuffed pieds-de-mouton* à la Septime!" "(hedgehog mushroom)" "Mmm!" "I garantee he'll talk, in a hurry." "Eh, eh, eh." "Messieurs." "Messieurs, I'll take my leave." "Messieurs, I take my leave." "Hmm!" "And now, off to Septime's!" "Very well, monsieur." "Here we are, monsieur." "Thank you, my dear Emile." "Oh, hello, Baronness." "Oh, hello, Minister." "Oh, hello, M. Septime." "What the...!" "Hello, Baronness." "Hello, Minister." "Hello, M. Septime." "What?" "The two of us are going to take a little trip." " On no, not again?" " By plane." " By plane?" " Yes, plane." " Oh no!" "Enough!" "That's enough." "Follow my instructions." "Straight ahead." "Turn left at the end of the avenue." "We're not starting this again?" " Let's go." "I can't take any more of this!" "Believe me, you're wasting your time!" "This affair doesn't concern us anymore!" "Case closed!" "Not quite." "Why, not quite?" "I don't understand." "You will understand." "Soon." "Don't be afraid, you're not in any risk." "Everything'll be fine." "You'll see." "I'll see, will I?" "A-hem!" "I say, monsieur." "Ah!" "Mr. President!" "Mr. President!" "M. Septime, I'm so happy to see you." "So am I!" "They didn't mistreat you did they?" "What?" "I've never been so happy in my life!" " No?" "!" " Finally, I'm free!" " No?" "!" " I'm free!" "Free?" "But you're still a prisoner!" "Of myself!" "Only myself." "I don't get it." "I'll confess everything, M. Septime." "No one ever abducted me." " How's that?" " I abducted myself." " What!" " Oh, yes." "All by myself!" "I organised my escape and my retirement, here." " It all began at your restaurant." " I know, Mr. President." "I'm sorry, I couldn't take it anymore." "I had to get out." "You can't imagine the life of a statesman... official chores. protocol, hypocrisy I was at the end of my rope!" "You didn't think of the problems, you'd cause me, Mr. President?" "I needed space, clean air, freedom, fishing, birds singing!" "I discovered nature, M. Septime!" "And France!" "France is a lovely place!" "Yes, I know France is lovely," "But, really, Mr. President, you're not being serious." "In life you need to know what you want." "You should've thought about it, before taking power." "Because once you take power, You keep it." " If I had known." " Too late." "Look, I run a restaurant." " I can't just desert it." "Who says that's my intention!" "That gentleman is the pyramid." "Ah, the pyramid!" "That was him?" "Ha-ha hah!" "A true friend, eh?" "By the way, that woman who loves you;" "your secretary," " what'll you do about her?" " I'll leave her to you." " No, I don't want that!" " Neither do I." "Well then?" "Even earthquakes can get boring" "We'll have to fix that, Mr. President You bring her back..." " Have a seat." " Thank you." "Yes, my vacation's over." "I owe you the most beautiful days of my life." "I can't say the same for you, Mr. President" "That's the reason I brought you here." "I've decided to repair all the harm, I've caused you." " How?" " By making you a heron." " A 'heron'?" " A hero!" "[Thanks to the 'undercover restauranteur' missing statesman is found and escapes captors]" "♪ [Military march]" "♪" "♪" "[Explosions]" "Ah!" "The President's disappeared!" "What did you do with him?" " I don't know!" "I'm warning you, you won't fool me twice with the pyramid trick!" "Find him or I'll throw you in the slammer!" "What did you do with him?" "Music, quick!" "♪" "I'd still like to know..." " The anthem, the anthem!" "♪" "No, no, no." "♪" "No." "♪" "No!" "Shh, shh!" "♪" "♪Translated by♪  XQ2☻"