"Aye." "Some don't like gypsies but I've never had any trouble with this lot." "Do they come often, Mr Gilling?" " Aye." "Every summer and winter." "I let them have a corner of the meadow down by the beck." "Boy were born down there in July." "Hello, Jess." " Hello, Mr Gilling." "Hello, Mr Myatt." " Hello." "Usual place?" " Aye." "But it's a bit muddy." "Us'll manage." "Come on." "Hello, Margie." "Winter must be harsh for them." " lt's their life." "They wouldn't say thank you for a cottage." "Besides, Christmas brings them a bit of business." "Does it?" " Aye, one way or another." "There's always my old orchard." "Nigh on 90 years old." "No good for fruit." "But mistletoe - you've never seen anything like it!" "It's even spreading onto the oak trees now." "I let him have the lot and they peddle it from door to door." "That must bring them in a few bob." " l reckon it does." "Well, I'd better be off." "Aye." "Well, er..." "thanks for looking in, Mr Herriot." "Pleasure." "And if it doesn't clear up, let me know, eh?" "Oh, aye." "They get earlier every year." "Soon be starting before we put the clocks back." "Wonderful time of year. I love Christmas." "Move away, boys." "Tristan..." "Have you got er...half a crown?" "I think so." "Why?" "They always get it wrong!" "It's not "merry gentlemen"!" "It's "God rest you merry, gentlemen," ""Let nothing you..." Not that it matters." "Pay them off, Tristan." " What?" "Give them half a crown." " You're mad." "That's four pints." " lt's the season of goodwill." "No earthly call to be niggardly." "Half a crown is asking for trouble." " Trouble?" "The word will get round and we'll be besieged." "Yes." "We'll have every kid screeching on our doorstep for two weeks." "Oh." "Erm..." " ." "While shepherds... ." "A bob." "Plenty. I can do without shepherds and their flocks." "Tris." "Catch." "See them off." "There's a good fella." "Now then, Helen." "How about a glass of sherry?" "What a lovely idea." " Whisky, please." "Thanks." "Now I am determined... to make this Christmas a very special occasion." "It's always special." "It is, of course, in that sense, true." "But I intend to make this a Christmas to remember." "I'm neither politician nor a Jeremiah but the way things are going in Europe, I believe that a year hence we may not all find ourselves in this cosy situation." "This year we shall all be together, so we'd better make the most of it." "Sixpence would have done." " Have a drink, Tristan." "The great thing to do is make plans." "We must make great plans." "A real Yorkshire Christmas with all the trimmings?" "Here's to our Christmas." " Us and Christmas." "Christmas." "Alas, poor Yorick." " What have you got there?" "You're only a vet. lt's a human skull." "Really?" "How very interesting!" "Where's it from?" "In my youth I shared digs with an Irish medical student." "One day I had a lucky win." "He took five quid and ran off with the landlady's daughter." "He left a note saying I was to hang onto the skeleton as a surety against his loan." " How decent." "Pretty set of teeth." "What sex?" " Female. ln her twenties." "is she all there?" " Every last bone, all beautifully wired together." "Only the head's become detached." "Honestly, the rubbish one accumulates!" "What am I to do with her?" "Do with her?" " She's just taking up room." "You could ask the vicar to give her a decent funeral." "Costly." "Besides, she might have been a Muslim or a Hindu." "But it's a bit discourteous to shove her in the dustbin." "Might upset Mrs Hall." " Not to mention the dustman." "We don't want the local bobby asking silly questions over Christmas." "What shall I do?" "She's been no trouble." "I didn't know she was there." "I'd put her back where she was." "Sensible as always, James." "She hasn't, so that's precisely what we'll do with her." "Mind giving me a hand?" " Yes." "There we are." "Almost puts one in mind of Sydney Smith, doesn't it?" "When some woman complained to him about the heat, he said," ""Heat, ma'am?" "It's been so dreadful" ""l've had to take off my flesh and sit in my bones."" "I'll have to come out." "Thanks." "There you go, Ermintrude." "Sorry you've been troubled." "That reminds me, I've got to telephone the plumber." "Mrs Hall's got a leaky tap." "She needs a new washer." "Good God!" "You idiot." " My apologies, I'm sure." "Where's the telephone book?" "Here we are." "Speaking of Mrs Pumphrey, have you seen her lately?" "Do you know what a non sequitur is?" "Yes." "Well, not offhand." "Why?" "You and your brother seem to be having trouble." "I haven't seen Mrs Pumphrey." "Well, don't you think it's time you did?" "What for?" " A social call, Uncle Herriot." "You take presents, of course - turnips for Nugent, Turkish Delight for Tricki Woo." "Add something to upset their tummies." "I know exactly what you've got in mind." "You have to admit, James, it's some time since we've had a hamper from Fortnum's." "And the last one..." "I'm not complaining." "It was thoughtful but one or two of our favourite delicacies were missing." "If Mrs Pumphrey acknowledges my remarkable veterinary skills in the way she sometimes does, that's fine." "But I won't poison her pets to achieve the same ends." "Then there's no more to be said." " James!" "Quick!" "Urgent call!" " Where to?" "Hewison has a horse cast in its stall." "What's all the excitement?" "It's great going to Hewison's." "They have a Christmas cake." "Mrs Hewison is one of the greatest bakers in the Dales!" "For weeks she's been stirring up fruit and candied peel, butter and all that." "Her cakes are famous in the district." "Erm, shall I bring the car around?" "You stay here." "We can't leave the post unmanned." "Typical." " Make yourself useful." "Get the tackle in the car." "Go on." "The things is, you see, James," "Mrs Hewison likes to receive the accolade from an expert." "Although Hewison regards me as a passable animal doctor," "Mrs Hewison thinks I'm an absolute top expert as far as her cakes are concerned." "You mark my words." "As soon as we've hoisted that horse, we'll be invited in for a spot of cake-tasting." "Good girl." "All right, James." "There she is." "Take the block and tackle down, will you, please?" "Thank you." "I don't think there's any damage done, Mr Hewison." "With great pleasure." "I'll just walk her round the yard first." "Come on, girl." "Can I give you a hand?" " Thank you." "Just..." " l got it." "That's the other one." "That's splendid." "Thank you." "Tha knows, young man, my missus is never content till your guv'nor's had a bit of her cake." "Come and see for yourself, Mr Herriot." "By Jove, that's a sight for sore eyes!" "They do look pretty, though I say it myself." "Which one are you gonna cut?" " This one." "There's a reason, Mr Herriot." " Oh?" "It's not me own cake." "It's one me sister baked." "But I'm not telling Mr Farnon." "We'll see what he says." "Well, is that quite fair?" "I mean, surely you ought to tell him." "No, I want his true judgment." "So we'll say nowt about it." "Ah, here it comes." "Sit down yonder, Mr Herriot." "Pull out the chair, Maureen." "Thank you, Maureen." "Good health." "Pass Mr Farnon's plate, Maureen." "Mr Farnon, I'd like to know what you think of t'cake this year." "First I shall drink the health of the Hewison family." "James, you'll join me?" "Very merry Christmas to you, and a happy and prosperous New Year." "Hear, hear." "That's very good of you, I'm sure." "Now, erm...what about the verdict, Mr Farnon?" "This is not to be hurried, Mr Hewison." "Mrs Hewison, this is a good cake." "It's a very good cake indeed." "But if you'll permit me, I'm bound to say, it's not up to your usual standard." "Oh, what a wonderful man!" "Aye, a very Solomon among cake-tasters!" "Maureen, pass the glasses." "That's worth another one." "Oh, there we are." " Thank you." "You didn't have the slightest inkling?" " Why should I have?" "I take my hat off to you, Siegfried." "Your position in their household was already exalted." "Now it's impregnable!" "I like that." "Very nicely put, James." "Of course, the compliment's deserved." "I am an excellent judge of cakes." "Hey!" " What's the matter now?" "This isn't the way home." "No, I thought we'd visit Mrs Pumphrey." "Mrs Pumphrey?" " We haven't seen much of her lately." "Go and pay her a call." "I see." "While Hewison's whisky's perfectly reasonable stuff, it did cross my mind that, James, there's nothing like a wee drap of the malt." "You maniac!" "You're not fit to be on the road!" "You got my message?" " What message?" "You haven't been home?" "!" " No!" "Tricki Woo's very ill. I think he's dying." "Mrs Pumphrey's having hysteria all over the house." "You hear that, James?" "Perhaps it's the hand of fate." "It can't be, it can't be!" "My poor darling Tricki Woo!" "You must try and be brave, Mrs Pumphrey." "Uncle Herriot and my brother are doing all they can." "Sip this." "Oh, thank you." "Normal." "So at least it's not leptospiral." "Did you think it would be?" " A remote possibility." "The chances of Tricki being bitten by a water rat or drinking the creature's urine were, to say the least, remote." "Lovely colour. I was afraid she might end up doing this to him." "Sorry, old chap." "You may feel this just a bit." "Hold tight." "Sorry, Tricki." "Has he been vomiting much?" "Yes, he can't keep anything down." "Diarrhoea?" " Yes, that too." "Mr Herriot, I know I'm only a foolish old woman but you must tell me the truth." "I'm going to lose my baby, aren't I?" "Not necessarily." "But Tricki's a very sick little dog." "He's got the yellows." "The yellows?" "Do you mean yellow fever?" "No, nothing quite as dramatic as that." "I mean jaundice." "That's not so very serious, surely." "People often get it." "A cousin of mine had it when he came back from India." "I know he couldn't touch alcohol and that made him bad-tempered but he recovered." " l don't doubt it for a moment." "But with a small dog of Tricki's age it can be very serious." "You mean there's no hope at all that... lf it was infective jaundice I don't think I would." "But it isn't." "I'd say he has a very good chance but only if he gets proper care and attention." "If you could only move in here, Mr Herriot." "I'm afraid that wouldn't be possible." "We can't spare James from the practice." "But it would be good if you'd let us take Tricki to Skeldale." "We could keep an eye on him all the time." "Oh, the thought of separation!" "Very painful, I know." "But we haven't got a miracle drug for his condition." "And it's not so much that he needs medicines as continuous supportive nursing, and we can give him that." "I see." "Yes, of course." "You're all so kind." "So very wise." "The three wise men, in fact!" "Yes." "He must go with you." "You hear that, darling?" "Uncle Herriot and dear Dr Farnon are going to take you to their lovely hospital at Skeldale." "You'll soon be well, little doggykins." ""Little doggykins"!" "What can one do about a woman like that?" "She's the soul of generosity but she has one fearful vice - she will not stop herself stuffing doggykins with cream cakes, caramels..." "Talk about force-feeding geese to enlarge their livers." "That's not a bad analogy!" " lt's true." "Hello, Nurse." "How's the patient?" "A little better." " l admire your optimism." "I'm not quite so sanguine about his chances." "Siegfried!" "Nobody's more anxious for his recovery than I am but I think facts should be faced." "The poor, wretched little creature's practically moribund." "I don't want you to be upset." " l shall be, so there." "Yes, of course. I put things badly." "We hope for the best but should be prepared for the worst." "I know you, Helen." "Don't think I don't." "You're an old softie, just like that husband of yours." "If Tricki dies, you're going to blame yourself. I won't have it." "What's he on?" " Water and glucose every two hours and when he's better I shall put him on calf's foot jelly." "Good. I can't improve on that." "Mr Gilling phoned..." " l haven't seen him in months." "I saw him." "He's fine." " ls he?" "Good." "He's a super old boy." "He's kind to animals and children, which is a rare combination in these parts." "What's his trouble?" "His gypsy's daughter has a donkey foal four months old." "Apparently..." " Oh, yes... lt's twitching badly and reacts to the slightest noise." "We should give it a look." " Shouldn't we wait until he asks us?" "Yes, that's crossing my mind, James." "I don't want to hurt his pride." "They're poor." "They wouldn't call us if they think their remedies will work." "But if they thought you were just passing." "Go ahead." "But, er...be discreet." "Would you like to have a look, Tris?" "Got him?" " Yeah." "See anything?" " Third eyelid comes across." "Steady now." "How's he eating, Mr Myatt?" " We haven't weaned him yet." "Has he injured himself recently?" "On barbed wire or anything?" "Picked up a nail a month ago." " What did you do?" "Took it out, didn't I?" "Have you been treating it in any way?" "It were only a little wound." "No blood to speak of." "Sealed it with tar." "It was lame for a few days but it passed." "Oh." "Well, I'll have a look." "Lend me your hoof knife please, Tris." "That's it." "The tar's still there." "Oh, thanks." "Good, thank you." "I can see where the nail went in." "Would you cut the wound for me, please, Tris?" "Right you are." "Well, Mr Herriot?" " l think it's tetanus." "is that bad, mister?" " lf l'm right, yes, it is." "I don't know the name." " lt's like blood poisoning, Jess." "Ow!" "Damn!" "You cut yourself?" " No, it's just a nick." "is that used for anything?" " l let them use it in bad weather." "Let's take a look, eh?" "Oh, thank you." "Aye, well, there you are." "Oh, yes." "This will be fine." "Could you get some straw sent over?" " l'll see to that for you." "Good." "That's fine, Tris." "Good." "All right, Mr Myatt." "We'll get him into the barn." "OK?" " OK." "Come on." "Let's go." "Right." "That's the antiserum, and we'll give him a sedative." "In fact, he's going to need sedating at least twice a day." "He must be kept quiet." "No shouting or clacking of buckets." "Violent response to sudden noise is a symptom to watch for." "He didn't even like the baby crying." "Here we are, lad." "Over here, please." "Thank you. lf you squeeze a bail just alongside him." "Very, very gently." "That's it." "Good." "That's the idea." " What's that for?" "Keep him propped up." " Can his mother still feed him?" "No." "Try and keep him on gruel." "That's all we can do for the moment." "Got the sedative, Tris?" " Yes." "Give it to him, please." "Someone will call around tomorrow and give him another shot." "Margie?" "Come on." "You must be a brave girl." "I know you love him." "We'll try to make sure he gets better." "Hmm?" "Marvellous beef, Helen." " Thank you." "Should be enforced by law." "We shouldn't treat a horse that isn't immunised." "Well, I can't see it happening." "Not in the foreseeable future." "Why on earth not?" " lgnorance." "Apathy." "And few people recognise the dangers." "They are pretty remote." "Not good enough." "Risks to human life should be eliminated." "How?" " Education." "Everybody takes smallpox vaccination for granted." "It's not the same thing at all." "You don't get tetanus epidemics." "Possibly." "But an individual risk does remain." "It's all very fine for you to talk, Tristan." "As vets we get our anti-tetanus injection as a matter of course." "But take this fellow Myatt, for example." "He might have cut the wound out and nicked himself as you did." "He wouldn't have given it another thought." "The chances are he'd be dead in a month." "Oh, Lord." " What's wrong, Tris?" "How long do they last?" " What?" "Inoculations." "When did you have your last one?" "I've never had one." "Get your coat." " Where are we going?" "See Dr Allinson." "Straightaway." "He's odd, isn't he?" " Who?" "My brother." "He can be an absolute swine when it suits him." "But take the other night." "The whole business had me a bit groggy." "And I expected Siegfried to rip my liver out." "Not a bit of it." "I think what I'm trying to say is... when the chips really are down he, er..." "How shall I say?" "Emerges rather well." " You just realised that?" "I suppose not." "It's the nature of the beast." "He makes one dwell on the more alarming sides of his character." "As far as I'm concerned." " There's some truth in that." "Anyway, no aftereffects?" " Not so far, no." "10am precisely." "Mrs Pumphrey." "You wouldn't give her the morning bulletin, would you?" "Thank you." " What should I tell her?" "No cause for alarm." "Patient maintaining strength." "He's responding to treatment." "That'll do." "Oh, and if you could suggest tactfully that she needn't be here every day, Helen might be grateful." "Right you are." " Thank you." "What's the news?" " Not good, I'm afraid." "Poor little blighter's got it." " Lockjaw?" "Damn and blast." " lt was always on the cards." "It doesn't always come to that." "Perfectly true." "There is one bright spot, though." "Still has an appetite." "But he's never been weaned." "I left him sucking gruel through his teeth." "That girl's marvellous." "What's her name?" "Margie?" " Yes." "I wish we could save him, if only for her sake." "That's OK." " Thanks, Tris." "Well, things seem a mite flat." "Never known things so quiet." "I might even get a chance to do a bit of Christmas shopping." "Thanks, Tris." "Why does he always lock this door?" "Says he's lost the key." " Right." "Siegfried." " Yes, my dear." "Will you explain a mystery?" " What sort of mystery?" "The room across the hall." "The door's locked. I've never been inside." "Ahem." " Extraordinary." "Neither have I." "Oh, that one." "There's no mystery, I'm afraid." "It used to be the dining room." "The house came with the practice." "In those days it was far too big for me." "Even now with all of us here there's no real need for it." "Oh, but I'd love to see inside." "Can't we explore?" "I've lost the key." "Now, I promised you a Christmas to remember." "We want to aim for the true..." "What's the word I'm looking for?" "Dickensian jollity." "So we borrow a truck and make an expedition." "We scour the countryside for holly." "Berries are marvellous - means a hard winter." "We'll cut a tree and gather mistletoe." "We'll transform this mausoleum to a place of yuletide greenery." "That'll create the mood." "It never quite works without the snow." "Then, my dear Tristan, we shall have snow." "All right?" "Timber!" "A neat job." "Tristan, haul that down to the lorry." "Come on, boy." "I'll take the sharp end, Tris." "That's it." "Buck for the cab, Tristan." "Here you are, Tris." "It's secure this end." "Ow!" "There you are, old boy." "Oh." "Where to now?" "Gilling's." "We must telephone Helen in case any calls have come in." "We can also give Fred his sedative." "He's terribly weak." " Never mind, he's alive." "And, er, every..." "Thank you." "Every day he wins now improves his chances, you see." "Come on." "Come on, boy." "Come here." "Come on." "Come on." "Get in." "Good boy." "That's it." "Mind your knee." "." "The holly and the ivy when they are both full grown" "." "Of all the trees that are in the wood" "." "The holly bears the crown" "." "O, the rising of the sun and the running of the deer" "." "The playing of the merry organ sweet singing in the choir ." "Do you see what I see?" "That's Mallock's lorry!" "And Myatt's with him." " Hurry, Siegfried!" "Get back to your mother." " Where is it?" "In t'barn, Mr Mallock." "That foal dead, Mr Myatt?" " Not yet." "Why are you here, Mr Mallock?" " He fetched me." "What do you want with a donkey foal with tetanus?" "Nowt, Mr Farnon." "I'm here to put it down." "I get paid for the job, that's all." "Yes, I understand." "Do you mind if I have a look at him first?" "Suit yourself but I'll not change me mind." "Right." "On we go." "Just Mr Myatt and myself." "Hello, Margie." "All right?" "Foal will be OK." " Thanks, Mr Farnon." "Hello, hello, hello." "Muscles are loosening." "He'll soon be eating normally now." "Why are you doing this?" " That's my business." "It was our business as well until just now." "We've put in a lot of work to try and save this little chap." "Aye." "Work I can't afford." "I understand." "And we still might fail." "Will you let me speak frankly?" "Say what you please." " You have your way of life, and we have little in common except our interest in animals." "But times are hard, you have a wife and family to support. I haven't." "I take charity from no man, mister." "I'm not offering any." "But this foal means a great deal to your little girl." "I'd like to try and save him for her, not for you." "It's still going to cost." " No." "Then it is charity." " Not in any sense." "If I succeed, let it be my Christmas present to Margie." "She's not going to know that and nobody else will either." "It's between you and me." "Will you let me try?" "It's not right." "Pride's a fine thing, Mr Myatt, in its proper place." "Put it in your pocket." "Just this once." "Hello, Mrs Pumphrey." "He's dead, isn't he?" "Dead?" " My Tricki Woo." "Of course he isn't dead!" "What on earth gave you that idea?" "No." "Helen thinks he's holding his own." "Mr Herriot, you wouldn't lie to me." "Mrs Pumphrey, I think you'd better come and sit down." "There we are." " Thank you." "Now, you tell me what all this is about." "Well... lt was my dream. lt was all so vivid!" "You were kneeling over the body of my poor, darling Tricki and Mr Farnon was saying that you'd have to tell me." "But do you know what you said?" "I haven't a clue." " You said you wouldn't." "You said you didn't want to spoil my Christmas." "You were going to go on pretending that Tricki was alive till the holiday was over and then break the news gently." "Good grief." "It was so like your generous and sensitive nature that of course I believed it must be true." "I nearly rang you up immediately but I realised that would be quite useless." "Would it?" " Oh, yes." "You can never know if a person's telling a lie, even a white lie, unless you are looking into their eyes as they speak." "You do see that, don't you?" "James!" "James!" "You must look at Tricki." "Oh, hello, Mrs Pumphrey." "How marvellous you're here!" "My darling!" "Oh, my little darling!" "Look, James!" "Look at his tummy!" "It's starting to turn pink!" "Well done, darling." "Mrs Pumphrey, he's on the mend." "Oh, my Tricki." "My Tricki Woo!" "Oh, my darling!" "Do you want a cup of tea?" " Mm." "Where is everyone?" "Helen's asleep, Siegfried went up ten minutes ago." "Have a good evening?" " Smashing." "What a girl." "Warmth, spirit, response." "Anyone I know?" "Sounds great stuff." " Absolutely." "What are you doing?" " Looking for a key." "Which one?" " To that locked front room." "What on earth do you want that for?" "You must have noticed Siegfried when Helen asked." "He went all peculiar." "I think it's a bit fishy, don't you?" "No." " You're not usually so dim." "That room is the most important in this house." "We've never been allowed inside yet when Helen makes an innocuous suggestion he throws up a feeble excuse and changes the subject." "It was reasonable." "This is a big house, there is space and he doesn't want to make extra work for Mrs Hall." "Very plausible." "This is a good impersonation of Bluebeard's wife." "You expect to find the heads of Siegfried's girlfriends?" "Now you're talking rot." "I don't like silly mysteries." "It wasn't "silly" just now." "It was "fishy"." "If one of these keys fits I'm damn well going to have a look." "Now?" " No." "When he's asleep or out." "Courageous. I wouldn't like to be you when he finds out." "Don't be so stuffy." "I'm doing nothing underhand." "I merely seek to satisfy the healthy curiosity of a normal and intelligent young man." "What the devil's going on?" "!" "Tristan!" "I always knew you drank too much but I didn't think it would come to this." "Sneaking down for a swig in the small hours!" "You don't understand." " l understand my own eyes." "I had this ghastly nightmare." "I never drink..." "Young chap, you do look a bit shaken." "You'd better sit down." "Perhaps I was mistaken." "Have some more." "Most of that went on the carpet." "Hold hard." "There." "Try that." "Now." "No mores nightmares, old chap." "You made enough noise to waken the dead." "He's got his temper back, anyway." "When's he going home?" "We thought we'd take him back this afternoon." "Perhaps you should let me do that." "Why?" " You're too modest." "Too self-effacing and James is too high-principled." "I prefer Mrs Pumphrey to be in no doubt whatsoever." "What about?" " The magnitude of your achievement." "This little monster owes his life to you." "You've performed a miracle of nursing." "Oh, Siegfried." "These simple facts ought to be made clear by a third, disinterested party." "Quite right." "You're no good at blowing your own trumpet." "That's the one he loves." "No, I don't think I will interfere at this point." "You and James go ahead." "But make it plain to Mrs Pumphrey that Tricki needs just one piece of turkey fat and she'll have a death at the dinner table." "Mr Farnon." " Yes, Mrs Hall." "All that holly in the hall." " What about it?" "I can hardly get around it." "How am I supposed to clean?" "Don't." "We'll decorate tonight." "The cleaning can wait." "Now, my dears." "I'm taking the morning off to do my Christmas shopping." "James is out on rounds, Tristan is on duty here." "In my absence I want you to do me a favour and not to ask any questions, hm?" "The whole thing's absurd. lt's insane." "Probably it. I've gone mad." " Let's get this done." "I've got that ham to cope with, you know." "What are you doing?" " Oh, hello, Tris." "We're going to give Siegfried a surprise." " What sort?" "Mrs Hall's got the key to this room, so we're going to open it and clean it." "You can't do that!" " Of course we can." "You can help." "No, no." "You mustn't." "Why not?" "It's bad to keep rooms unused in old houses like this." "That's not what you said before." " Ain't it?" "Oh, well." "Woman's privilege." "Besides, don't tell me you're not a bit curious." "Well, of course I am." "We all are." "No!" "It's a super idea but I really think you'd better not." "Why, Tris?" "Give us one good reason." "I hate to sound like the stuffy younger brother but it is his house and you know Siegfried." "So?" "He might not like it." " ls that all?" "That's enough, isn't it?" "Mrs Hall..." " You stay there." "Helen!" "Now, wait a minute." "Here we are." "Ah." "Oh, it's lovely!" "Fancy wasting a room like this!" "And look at these chairs!" "Do you know... I think they're real Chippendale!" "Tristan." " Yes?" "That was a very good performance outside." "Own up." "What's it all in aid of?" "Oh, my goodness gracious." "Look at all them bottles." "Oh, so that's it." "He refused to talk." "Just made a lot of fatuous excuses." "And Siegfried's just as bad." "We weren't allowed to ask any questions - just do the job, and report brother's reactions." "You had something to report." "Was he satisfied?" "If you mean did he look like a cat that's got away with a gallon of cream, yes." "I do hate mysteries." "Are you sure you don't know anything?" "You know, darling, this is Siegfried's house." "He's been using this room as a cellar to lay down a stock of fine wines." "For reasons best known to himself he's chosen this moment to let us into the secret." " But why...?" "Because it's Christmas?" "Or maybe because he knew Tristan wouldn't leave it alone." "Anyway." "Doesn't matter." "I suppose not." "Right." "Now." "You stand over there, darling." "Right?" "While I...switch on..." "Ready?" " Yes." "Ta-da!" "Now it's really Christmas Eve!" "You are clever!" "Special delivery for Uncle Herriot and Nurse Helen." "All the way from Fortnum's." "Wonder who could have been so generous." "Break it up." " You might admire the tree." "Very pretty, my dear, but this is pretty, too." "You're both hopeless." " lt's lovely." "Oh, look at this!" "Oh, it's gorgeous!" "Oh, it's all my favourite things!" "She is an old darling." "You're in for a Christmas with more than all the trimmings." "There is one trimming we forgot." " What's that?" "Mistletoe." "Oh, how awful!" "We won't be able to get any now." "Oh, I think we can." "It's for Margie." " Thank you, lady." "That's very kind but there wasn't any call." "Margie's got the present she wanted." "Best come and see for yourself." "He's taking it well, isn't he?" "Should have cooled by the time we're back from church." "What's this?" " Ah, that's for you, dear brother." "It's not a Christmas present." "It's a gift of pure friendship." "You can open it now." "What are they?" "Chief Inspector Charles had them from a man who won't need them." "I thought they might come in handy for you." "Yes but what are they?" " They're skeleton keys." "You old devil." "Why...?" " Time we were going, you know." "Where is everybody?" "Everybody ready?" " Where's James?" "Here." " Good man." "Come on, then." "Mrs Hall!" " Right, I'm coming." "Time we were off, Mrs Hall." " l'm just coming." "Happy Christmas." " lt's not Christmas yet!" "What's a few minutes?" "We can't go into a clinch in the middle of midnight service." "You can always try." "Break it up, you two." "I've left a kettle on the stove for when we get back." "Hot toddy?" " A nice hot Christmas cocoa." "There'll be enough hot toddies flying about in the next few days." "Oh, my prophetic soul!" "Good Lord!" "It's snowing!" "And on Christmas Eve." "How's that?" " There you are, James." "." "God rest ye merry, gentlemen" "." "Let nothing you dismay" "." "Remember Christ our saviour was born on Christmas Day" "." "To save us all from sins and toil... ."