"You can't lose me, Egghead!" "Eggman!" "You know my name is Dr Eggman." "You do that on purpose." "Do what, Egghead?" "Whoa!" "(Sighs)" "It all ends here, old friend." "Prepare to be destroyed..." "by Burnbot!" "He's gonna burn me with flamethrowers or something?" "Flamethrowers?" "No..." "Oh, um..." "acid?" "Incendiary grenades?" "No, no, no, no, no... claws." "He has claws, very painful claws." "Then you should have called him Clawbot or The Lacerator or Pinch-a-tron 9,000." "But Burnbot?" "I mean, that's just false advertising..." "I name the robots, Sonic." "Burnbot, attack!" "Hmm..." "Blue leader, this is Yellow Sky." "I have eyes on Burnbot." "He's on the move." "Over." "Thanks, Tails." "Initiate Speeding Swing Surprise." "Get up, get up, get up!" "Bail, Tails, bail!" "Tails!" "No!" "We'll be back, Sonic." "Oof, you are heavy." "Seriously, Burnbot, you could stand to burn a few calories." "Ohh..." "Keep resting, pal." "I'll get you home." "Promise, I'll never let anything like this happen to you again." "Sonic?" "Hey, buddy." "How you feeling?" "I'm great." "Ready to get back in action." "Yeah... about that..." "Um..." "I've got some great news." "You, my friend, are taking early retirement." " Early retirement?" " Yeah." "You'll be able to play lots of golf and spend time with the grandkids." "I don't have grandkids." "Well, now's your chance to get some." "Trust me, it's for the best." "I'll see you around, pal." "Wait... what just happened?" "I fired you." "OK, just checking." "Don't look at me like that." "I did what I had to do." "And now we're gonna make sure Tails stays retired." ""Sidekick tryouts." "All qualified candidates welcome." "Best candidate gets the job." "Resume and references required."" "Can you believe this?" "A resume and references aren't unreasonable." "Especially in this job market." "What fool would want to be Sonic's sidekick?" "Spending every day with him, enjoying his friendship and respect?" "Not me, that's for sure." "Unless..." "Lousy security camera." "I'm Amy Rose and I'll be auditioning for the part of sidekick." "Amy, I know who you are." "Great, because I am fine with nepotism." "Under "special skills" add juggling and singing." "Oh,whenthesaints gomarchingin  Ba-be-da-be-da-bop" "Next." "My biggest weakness?" "Actually, it's my incredible cowardice." "Oh!" "Improv!" "I love improv." "I'm a crazy pizza man..." "who juggles and sings!" "Oh,whenthesaints gomarchingin" "I think you would be a great sidekick for me." "No, Knuckles, I'm looking for someone to be my sidekick." "We'd have to change your name, though." "I'm thinking Knuckles Junior." "OK, last question." "What would you do in a no-win situation?" "If I'm with you, there's no such thing as a no-win situation." "Huh, you really get it, new guy." "I do get it." "But I'm not a new guy..." "In reality, I am none other than..." "Tails!" "You cannot be my sidekick." ""All qualified candidates welcome." "Best candidate gets the job."" "I'm a lock." "Unless there's something you're not telling me." "Fine." "But get ready for the tryout of your life." " Hello." " Eggman!" "What are you doing here?" "My name is Dr Eggman and I'm here about the sidekick position." "Wha..." "But you're my arch nemesis." "That's true." "But I could be a valuable asset to your organisation." "For example, I'm a doctor." "Not a real doctor, a PhD, but still..." "You can't be my sidekick." ""All qualified candidates welcome."" "OK, fine." "You both can move on to round two." "But neither of you is gonna be my sidekick." "Who else is there?" "Actually, do you validate parking?" "Congratulations." "You're the third candidate." "Actually..." "All right, being my sidekick is no easy task." "This competition will test your strength, stamina and endurance." "The winner will be whoever makes it..." "Actually, it's "whomever."" "The winner will be whomever makes it through all of the unimaginable hardships and brings me the red flag I planted atop the incredibly dangerous but inaccurately named Mount Safety." "Actually..." "Aaargh!" "Aaargh!" "Actually, I'm OK." "What's going on here?" "Nothing I can't handle." "Actually, I'm just gonna lie down in the foetal position and weep." "Give up, Eggman." "This job is rightfully mine." "I'm not here to be Sonic's sidekick, you nincompoop." "I'm here to get rid of you both once and for all." " Tails!" " Sonic, I'm stuck!" "Tails, I didn't really want to fire you." "I was just trying to protect you." "How?" "By putting me in more danger?" "The plan had holes!" "Oh, Sonic?" "I have one last surprise for you." "I took your advice." "Burnbot can burn things." "I can't swim!" "You're waterlogged." "I can't lift you." "Don't worry about me." "Get outta here." "That's not how sidekicks do." "I'll be back!" "With a new robot who has an accurate name." "And super-laser eyes and he'll feed me ham." "Evil ham." "About this job..." "What are the hours like?" "Well, it's seven days a week." "But you get your own plane." "(Bell ringing)" "Let me in!" "I demand a callback!" "Knuckles, what's wrong?" "(Sighs)" "Knuckles Junior isn't working out." "Oh." "So you're saying you need a..." "I'm a crazy pizza man..." "who juggles and sings!" "Oh,whenthesaints gomarchingin" "(Knuckles) Knucklina!" "(Snoring)" "(Knock at door)" "(Carries on snoring)" "(More knocking)" "(Groans)" "(More knocking)" "(Heavy knocking)" "Man!" " Hi." " What do you want?" "First of all, thank you for answering the door at such a late hour." "I realise what an inconvenience this must be..." "Get to it, Eggface." "Well, I..." "I uh..." "I need your help." " You need my help?" " Yes." "My sinister island lair, the ultra high-tech stronghold where I hatch my schemes to eliminate you, it was destroyed in the storm." "I was hoping I could crash with you and Tails for a few days until my robots rebuild it." "Please, don't strand me in this wilderness." "You certainly could use a roof over your head." "(Sniffs)" "And a bath." "But how do I know you won't just capture me and Tails while we're sleeping?" "I swear not to harm you or your fox friend during my stay." "I didn't even bring any weapons." "Here, check my pants." "No, no, no, it's OK." "I believe you." "So it's only for few days and it's just you?" "Just me." "And Orbot and Cubot." "They're family." "(Groans)" "(Groans)" "(Yawns)" " Eggman?" " Oh, hey, gang!" "Didn't know you'd be visiting so early." "I'm still in my evil pyjamas." "They've got a trap door in the back." "(Squeak)" "What's he doing here?" "We have a truce." "Tails is letting him stay here till his lair is rebuilt." "(Clears throat)" "Still waiting on that salmon eggs benedict." "Coming." "Coming." "I asked for egg whites." "These are yellows!" "See the yellow?" "I'm trying to watch my cholesterol." "And this salmon is farm-raised." "What is this, prison?" "It's all some evil plot, man." "First he lures us in with some terrible roommate ploy, but then wham, out comes this 50-ot obliterator bot that... obliterates us all." "We gotta get outta here." "Guys, we have to help him." "If we don't, we'll be no better than he is." "Yeah, you'll be no better than I am." "Think about how this is for him." "Do you feel scared without a home?" "Do you feel alone?" "Are you eating your feelings?" "Somebody get her away from me." "Guys, if Eggman needs to stay, he can stay." "Who knows, he might not be so bad after all." "(Ding!" ")" "Pillow fight!" "(Eggman laughs)" "(Snores and laughs)" "(Sonic groans)" "(Eggman laughs)" "Hey." "(Snoring)" "Pillow fight!" "That's it." "I've had enough of Eggman." "Lair or no lair, he's out of here." "You can't just throw Eggman out." "Sure, he might be a difficult roommate, but it's only because you guys have a communication problem." "Communication problem?" "He whacked me with a pillow." "Hard." "I'm dizzy and I have serious short-term memory loss." "I have serious short-term memory loss." "Why don't we settle this with a roommate meeting?" "Now, Sonic, do you have something you'd like to share with Eggman?" "Yes." "How to say this delicately..." "You're a horrible roommate." "Nobody in this house likes you." "Let's frame our statements with" ""When you do this, it makes me feel this"." "Fine." "OK." "Uh, let's see." "When you live here, it makes me feel angry." "You're a horrible roommate." "Nobody likes you." "(Sobs)" "You're right." "I am the worst roommate." "I've never lived with other people before." " What about us?" " You don't count." "(Sobs)" "Sonic, I think someone here could go for two spoonfuls of forgiveness washed down with a tall glass of friendship." " What do you think?" " Urgh." "Eggman, if we give you a second chance, will you promise to shape up?" " You bet!" " Roommate meeting group hug!" "Not you." "Scrubbin'allthedishes" "Withmyspongeand soap" "Scrubbin'allthedishes" "It'scleanenough,Ihope" "Cue the horns." "37, 38, 39..." "Triple-star bonus kazoo!" "(Toot!" ")" "Ha-ha, I win again!" "That's great." "Well, it's getting late." "Time to hit the hay." "Aw, just one more game." "That's what good roomies do." "We have fun!" "I'm all for fun, but aren't you guys exhausted?" "Orbot?" "Cubot?" "They're robots." "They don't get tired because they have no souls." " Hey!" " He's right." " Whatever." "Good night, guys." " Wait!" "Don't leave." "Just hang a little longer." "I'm so lonely." "Please... roomies?" " (Sighs)" " Yay!" "(Toot!" ")" "Wenowreturn totheComedyChimpShow  withyourhost,ComedyChimp." "Ialmostdidn'tmakeit totheshowtonight." "Ihadto go to thedoctor." "Ihadabackape!" "Oh-ho-ho!" "Idon'thaveany faith inthatdoctoranyway." "Heusedto be amechanic." "Hetriedto fixmyproblem witha monkeywrench!" "Oh-ho!" "You,my friend, areonewittysimian." "You're still hanging with Eggman?" "How many hours of sleep did you get?" "Zero." "It's stage two of his evil plot, man." "We are minutes away from him summoning his big obliterator bot with its obliterator legs and its obliterator teeth." "Sticks, stop being paranoid." "Eggman's lived here for two days and he hasn't hatched a single evil scheme... (Eggman laughing)" "What's so funny?" "Remember how I said my island fortress was destroyed by a storm?" "I... may have fibbed." "You see, I kind of faked the destruction of my fortress as an excuse to live with you and tire you to the point of exhaus..." "Tire you to the point of exhaustion." "So you'd be too tired to stop Obliterator Bot!" "(Laughs)" "I knew it!" "He did have an obliterator bot." "Why doesn't anyone ever believe me?" "It's not like I'm paranoid." "Stop following me!" "Enough!" "Obliterator Bot, destroy Sonic and his four friends." "For-tress?" "Fortress." "Destroy Fortress." "Destroying island fortress." "What?" "No!" "That's not what I said!" "We're still working out a few kinks." "Obliterator Bot, do not destroy island fortress." "Do not destroy island fortress!" "Affirmative." "Playing up-tempo music while destroying fortress." "(Heavy rock music)" "(Eggman) No!" "Sonic, you have to help me." "Why?" "He's your obliterator bot." "Or I'm stuck with you until I build a new island fortress." "Let's roll." "Gotta stop him... but so tired." "He must have a weak spot." "Maybe there's a clue on the ground." "This soft..." "soft bed-like ground." "What?" "What's wrong?" "Are we under attack?" "Oh... right. (Yawns)" "Eggman, you built that thing." "How do we take it down?" "By activating two kill switches at the same time." "They're inside the lair." "There... and there." "Oh, come on." "Right, Amy, Knuckles, Sticks, distract that metal monstrosity." "Tails and I are on the kill switches." "Eggman, you'll have to show us how to activate them." " (Yawns)" " Pre-mission group hug?" "No." "(Groans)" "(Sighs)" "(Snores)" "Jam the kinetic barrier processor." "The kinetic barrier processor." "(Yawns)" "(Snoring)" "OK, power down the central operating system." "I knew you were coming." "But you will never obliterate Sticks because Sticks is un-obliter..." "un-olib... un-oblitery..." "You can't kill me." "Jam the kinetic barrier processor." "(Toot!" ")" "Pillow fight!" "Yes!" "No!" "Hey, fellas, as you know, my fortress is now a smoking ruin." "So I was wondering maybe... if I could stay with you guys for a little while?" "Just until it's built back." "I can keep you company." "Let's explore your feelings about being a roommate." "Pretend this balloon is your self-esteem." "Stop." "Stop." "Stop!"