"FRANKIE:" "It's a great American tradition to believe anything's possible." "I don't know if it's the game shows we were raised on or what." "But secretly, we think we're just one spin of the wheel or one roll of the dice away from being a big winner." "That kind of crazy, delusional thinking is practically bred into us." "I'm at the mall in front of Hot Dogs USA and this woman comes and tells me that I have what it takes to be a model." "[SUE SHRIEKS]" " Wanna take this or should I jump in?" " Axl." "A model?" "That's great." "I know." "And she said she or one of her associates could train me to be a model and even get me glossy headshots all for $500." "Okay, look." "I know what you are thinking but I've seen pictures of supermodels when they were my age and they are not that great." "She said I have it." "If by "it" you mean no chance of ever in a million years even if everybody else were dead." " Mom." " Mike." " Axl." " Honey, you totally have it." "But what we don't have is that kind of money." " If I save enough babysitting, can I do it?" " Sure." "FRANKIE:" "At a buck-fifty an hour, I figured that was a bet worth taking." "Yay!" "[FRANKIE, SUE  BRICK SCREAM]" "Dude, blackout." "Okay, everybody relax." "Axl, get the flashlights." "Well, the neighbors' lights are on." "Frankie, we paid the electric bill, didn't we?" "This is an outrage." "If you're gonna shut off the power do it at the top of the hour before I'm already hooked on Conveyor Belt of Love." "Hey, hey, don't let the cold air out." "You have one grab and you eat what you get." "Peas?" "Oh, this sucks." "Well, sorry and thank you for playing." "MAN [IN INDIAN ACCENT OVER PHONE]:" "Orson Electric, Charlie speaking." "Oh, hi." "Shh, I got them." "MAN:" "How may I assist you with excellent customer service?" "Uh, yes." "Hi, Charlie." "This is Frankie Heck from 427 Birchwood." " You shut off our power?" "MAN:" "That is correct." "You are three months behind on payment." "FRANKIE:" "That must be a mistake because I talked to Peggy in the Orson office last week about a payment next Tuesday?" "[MOUTHS] Really?" "And she was very nice." "She promised me that the power would stay on till then." "Promised." "MAN:" "I do not see that note in my system." "Please hold for our automated customer satisfaction survey." "Oh, well." "I'll go down there tomorrow and take care of it in person." "Mike, cold air, cold air." "Beer." "I know the shape well." "FRANKIE:" "How'd this happen?" "I figured if we kept plugging holes till the quarry reopened, we'd be okay." " Well, we figured wrong." "FRANKIE:" "Mm." "MIKE:" "When they laid me off they gave me the name of that financial planner who will give a free consultation." "We were too proud back then but when I look at it in the, uh, harsh glow of candlelight tsk, maybe we should call." "FRANKIE:" "Mm-hm." "Whipped cream!" "Okay, here's the thing." "You can keep it or give it to Mom, you get a free bonus grab." "Bonus grab." "Oh, sauerkraut." "Good try, though." "Good try." "FRANKIE:" "After a healthy breakfast of olives and butter Brick was dealt another bad hand." "See, Brick and a few kids who were in his social-skills group liked to spend recess in the peace and quiet of the library, until..." "All right, boys, I need you to come with me." "We're instituting a new school policy." "One you'll actually find lots of fun." "Wait." "This leads to the..." "[CHILDREN SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]" "Playground." "SEIFRIED:" "That's right." "From now on, the library will be closed at recess and all students must play outside." "Have fun." "BOY 1:" "Hey, wait." "I got it." "[BOY 2 YELLS THEN GRUNTS]" "[GIRLS SHRIEK]" "We can't stay here." "Okay, if we can make it to that slide over there, I think we'll be safe." "Hoodies up." "Follow me." "HENRY:" "Help!" "[HENRY WHIMPERING]" "We'll send help when we reach safety." "[WHISPERS] Safety." "God." "Where is this guy?" "He's been looking at our paperwork for over 25 minutes." "Five more minutes, he starts charging." " Hello, Mr. Heck." " Cut to the chase, five minutes." "How screwed are we and what do we do?" "Well, you're doing a lot of things right." "MIKE:" "Mm-hm, mm-hm." "All right, long story short, you're spending more than you earn." "So we need to find places you can cut back." "So we're looking for unnecessary expenses." "Okay, okay." "Category is unnecessary expenses." "Insurance, phone." "Mike, help me." " Gas." " Heat, cleaning products..." " Gas." " Said that already." " Orthodontist." " Nice." "Those are necessary expenses." "We're looking for extras." "You know, things you could do without." "Oh, God, there are none." "We've already cut back on everything." "Steve, come to our house." "Nothing good there." "How about that $3 coffee?" "How often do you get that?" " Every day." " Not very oft..." "Are you on my team here or not?" "Times five days a week times 52 weeks a year." "Hey, that's $750 right there." " Hoo." " He buys imported beer." "Imported from Ohio." "Thanks, pal." "You started it." "Add that." "Go ahead, add that, Steve." "Add the beer." "She buys pop at the drive-thru even though we have pop at home." "Wait a minute." "This is part of his plan." "Turn us against each other so we lose track of time." "Yeah, that's my plan." "Here's the thing." "Spend less, cut back, pay off your debts." "Seven of your credit cards have doubled their rates." "Pay them down." "Okay, wait a second." "I have one really important question." "What if we...?" "[TIMER DINGS]" "Never mind." "We're eating at the table?" "Oh, no." "Dad's dying." "Nobody's dying." "We're just eating the stuff out of the fridge before it goes bad." "Dad grilled the crap out of everything but I would still give it the sniff test." "MIKE:" "Now listen, your mom and I met with this financial advisor today." "And he says we're doing good." "We just gotta manage our money a little better which means that until the quarry reopens we just gotta find ways to cut back." "I vote we let Brick go." "He's the weakest link." "I say we leave him in the woods and walk away." "Great suggestion." "But how about we buy less takeout food and I cook more?" "I'll take my chances in the woods." "Hey, we gotta make tough choices here." "I'm not saying it's gonna be easy." "Like, I know that we love it but it's really expensive and we really don't need it so we're getting rid of cable." "SUE:" "No!" " Mom's cooking and no TV?" "That's child abuse." "Oh, my God." "Oh, my God!" "What if there's an emergency and we don't have TV to tell us what to do?" "Yeah." "It's a safety issue." "What is wrong with my children?" "You're acting like this is the end of the world." "How is it not?" "Tell me how it's not." "Sorry, guys, but cable's gotta go." "And you know what?" "This just might be a good thing." "Because maybe you'll start developing interests beyond vegging on the couch." "MAN [ON TV]:" "Thirty-second warning." " Yay!" "The check cleared." "KIDS [IN UNISON]:" "TV!" "SUE:" "Ha-ha-ha." "MAN:" "Listen, as some of our..." "FRANKIE:" "The next day wasn't any easier for Brick." "BOY:" "Bombs away." "GIRL:" "You leave him alone." "I miss the library." "[MEOWS]" "There's a bell here." "It's gonna ring." "It's gonna be too loud." "I gotta talk to Mr. Seifried." " You'll never make it." "ERIC:" "I gotta try." "He's been hit." "It's okay." "He's fine." "Nothing to see." "Come on, let's get you back into the library." "I'm going home?" "Wait, Mr. Seifried." "We're not cut out for the playground." "Zack's an indoor cat and Corey really needs to keep his socks white or he'll freak." "Come on, recess is good for you." "Next week, we're introducing dodge ball." "FRANKIE:" "So we didn't have cable." "Not the end of the world." "We just went old school and broke out the rabbit ears." "Yeah, that whole digital-revolution thing screwed us pretty good." "But funny thing, the kids were handling no TV better than expected." "Sue was babysitting to raise money for her future modeling career." "Brick?" "Well, Brick read." "Big surprise." "Axl finally had time to start a band." "Let's rock." " Two, three, four." " Wait." "Who's rocking?" "We don't have a name yet." "Axl and the Axmen." " Two, three, four..." " Whoa, whoa." "How come you're the one to get your name in the name?" "Because your garage is filled with your sister's gymnastics equipment." "FRANKIE:" "But the band never played." "And Mike and I?" "Got any twos?" "Any twos?" "Go fish." "[FRANKIE SIGHS]" "FRANKIE:" "Sue modeled." "[YELPS]" "FRANKIE:" "Brick read." "Axl practiced." "And Mike and I..." " This is nice." " Yeah." "[FRANKIE SIGHS]" " We gotta get a hobby." " Yeah." "We're pathetic." "How come our kids can think of things to do besides TV and we can't?" "They're young." "They still find life interesting." "Come on, we can do this." "All right, the category is hobbies." "[FRANKIE SIGHS]" "Bowling?" " Costs money." " Scrapbooking." "I'm a man." "[PHONE RINGS]" "I'll get it." "Dad, would you write me a note to get me out of recess?" "Recess?" "Why would I want you out of recess?" "I love recess." "Recess is the best part." "For the strong." "Why do I even bother?" "Guess who has plans for tomorrow night." "Aunt Edie and Aunt Ginny have invited us to bingo at the church." "You know, a few weeks ago, I would've laughed." " But I'm actually excited." "FRANKIE:" "Yeah." "[BOTH CHUCKLE]" "B-13." "And don't forget to stamp the middle square." " It's a freebie." "MIKE:" "Mm." "[WHISPERS] And if you wanna smoke..." "[COUGHS]" "No one will know." "Thanks for the tip." "And the burn in my pants." "HAYVER:" "N-34." "Look around, Mike." "This is our future." "Actually, this is your future." "All the men smartened up and died." "G-56." "Aunt Edie, what am I missing on The Bachelor?" "[IN NORMAL VOICE] Three words." "Hot-tub fight." " No." " O-72." " Tara's still in the running?" " Frankie." " He's so handsome and she's so skanky." " Frankie." "Bingo." " You won?" " No, you won." "FRANKIE:" "Oh." "Oh." " We got a bingo." "Let's collect that prize and go." "I hope it's the his and her medic-alert bracelets." "Yeah, all the bacon we eat, they'll come in handy." "Well, you picked a good night to come to church." "[MIKE CHUCKLES]" "Ladies and ladies, we have our thousand-dollar winner." "[CROWD APPLAUDS AND CHEERS]" " A thousand dollars?" " Wait." "A real thousand dollars?" "Not like church bucks or diner coupons?" " Oh, my God." "MIKE:" "Ha-ha-ha." "[FRANKIE SHRIEKS THEN LAUGHS]" "I'm holding more money than I ever have in my whole life." "Wanna roll around in it?" "There's only ten bills here." "We'd feel stupid." "Oh, this is so great." "Oh, there is so much we can do with this." "Like our financial advisor said, finally pay down our credit cards." "Yeah, it's great." "Paying that down will feel great." "So great." "To know we're doing the right thing, that's gonna really feel great." "I mean, winning the money at church is obviously some kind of sign from God." "Or was it a test from God?" "A test to see if we would use it to enjoy life." "Well, there's a lot of things to spend it on if we weren't gonna pay the debt down." "But you're right." "We should be responsible." "FRANKIE:" "Definitely." "Although..." "Shouldn't how we spend the money be a family decision?" "Yes." "A family decision." "Kids, get in here." "We need to talk to you." "Oh, no." "Mom's dying." "Sit down." "Now here's the deal." "Dad and I won a substantial amount of money at church bingo." " All right." " Awesome." "You were playing bingo?" "And we thought it only fair that you guys weigh in and tell us what you think we should do with the money." " Ah!" "I can get modeling classes." " Whoa, I need a new amp." "I need 20 bucks to bribe a playground monitor." " Or hire a bully." " Look, hold on." "We were thinking more along the lines of something the whole family could enjoy." "Dad's right." "We need something that will make us happy." "But what could that be?" " Amp." " Twenty bucks." " Modeling." "AXL:" "Sue, get real." "Look at a supermodel and then look at you." "Oh, I could so be a supermodel." "Mom." "Dad." "Couldn't I be a supermodel?" "FRANKIE:" "Yes." " No." "Well, like you could be a rock star." "I just wanna get out of dodge ball." "Look, I think we're getting away from the point here." "The point is we need to channel all those thoughts and get a clear picture of what would make us all happy." "We told you what we wanted." "You know what?" "You're all useless." "This is an adult decision, get out." "[AXL GROANS]" "[SUE SIGHS]" "[FRANKIE SIGHS]" "What the hell did we do right that not a single one of them picked TV?" "FRANKIE:" "So we thought about it and in the light of day, things seemed clearer." "The first thing we should do is not leave a thousand dollars sitting on the counter." " Kids blew their shot." "It's all here." " Mm." "I hate to say it, Mike, but given our situation I think we both know what we have to do." " Yep." " Mom?" "Dad?" "If things go south today my personal effects are in the peanut can under my bed." "Good to know, son." "But you're not getting out of recess." "I've been reconning all week and I have a plan to get us back into the library." "We just need to get Mr. Seifried away from that door." "Uh-uh." "I'm too scared." "What if we get hit?" "Do you wanna stay in this stinking playground forever?" " No." " All right, then." "Now, my intel says the handball boys hate the four-square boys." "If we get them together, it'll create a diversion giving us time to make it to the library." " But how?" " With this." "The key to the whole operation." "The double-Dutch girls." "[WHISPERS] Double-Dutch." "BRICK [IN NORMAL VOICE]:" "Here's the plan." "We'll tell Rayna that one of the four-square boys likes her." "Really?" "BRICK:" "She'll run over to the four-square boys to find out if it's true." "Hey, Mitch." "I hear you like me." "BRICK:" "This will cause him to freak out and drop the four-square ball." "We'll grab it and throw it into the middle of the handball area, wrecking their game." "Hey, your stupid ball messed us up." "BRICK:" "They'll blame the four-square boys for ruining their game." "And this will create a diversion, causing Mr. Seifried to leave the door." "He's not moving." "It's not working." "Not yet." "[KIDS SHRIEKING]" "BOY:" "Candy!" "[WHISTLE TWEETS]" "Let's go." "[WHISTLE TWEETING]" "Okay." "All right." "Don't eat, don't eat." "Everybody's friends." "[WHISTLE TWEETING]" "COREY:" "Oh, no." "Leave me here, Brick." " Save yourself." " No man left behind." " Come on." "COREY:" "I can't." "My sock is so white." "I can't get it dirty." "You saved my life." "And my sock." "Semper fi, my brother." "Semper fi." "MAN [ON TV]:" "Ha-ha-ha." "I got you, no worries." "Oh." "See, you could've had the hot karate guy but you thought you could do better and now you're stuck." "[MAN LAUGHS ON TV]" " How are you watching TV?" " I paid for the cable." "I even prepaid for the whole year, saved us 15 bucks." "How's that for smart financial planning?" "Hmm?" "Why did you do that?" "Because that's what we agreed on." "Come, sit." "Watch." "She passed on karate guy." "Frankie, I wanted TV too but we agreed to pay off the credit card." "That's why I sent in a check." "A check that's now gonna bounce." " What?" "Wait." "MAN:" "And I also read palms." "Could I..." "Where did you get the idea we agreed to pay off the credit card?" "This morning when you said, "Given our situation..."" "Yeah, given our situation that it sucks to not have any TV." "Duh." "I mean, we have no mind connection." "We'd be terrible on a game show." "How in the world do you justify spending the money on cable?" "Because I thought we agreed to spin the wheel." "You know, go for what we want and take the risk that it'll all work out." " I thought we were both spinners." " Oh, that's just great." "Sue's gonna be a model, Axl's gonna be a rock star." "Some miracle will fall into our lap solve all our financial problems, so let's just get TV." " You're delusional." " Well, you're un-American." " What?" " That's right." "Because real Americans are raised on instant gratification and the optimism that if they mess up, things will somehow all work out." "That's what makes America great." "How sad to be you." "In your dark, little no-TV world." "You're crazy if you think something's just gonna drop in your lap." "We just won $1000." "How much luck do you think we're entitled to?" " Uh, Dad?" " All of it." "All of it, Mike." "I'm going for more." "Big spin." "Big spin." "I'm going all the way." "FRANKIE:" "Turns out the kids weren't wrong." "A lot of important messages do come over the TV." "Mom, Dad." "The quarry's open." "Wow." "I'm going back to work." "We won!" "Big winners!" "Big winners!" "What's going on?" " I just got my job back." " We spun and we won." "[SHRIEKS]" "[BOTH SHRIEK]" "FRANKIE:" "See?" "It's not delusional." "In a country where this is possible, Sue could be a supermodel." "Axl could be a rock star." "Brick could be a great leader of men." "You just gotta believe and keep spinning, because you never know." "[ENGLISH" " US" " SDH]"