"2x18" " CraneOn aWire" "♪ Hear the legends of the Kung Fu Panda!" "♪" "♪ Doo-doo-doo-doo doo-bom doo boom-boom!" "♪" "♪ Raised in a noodle shop ♪" "♪ never seeking glory or fame ♪" "♪ he climbed the mountain top ♪" "♪ and earned the Dragon Warrior name. ♪" "♪ Hu!" "Ah!" "Ya!" "♪" "♪ Kung Fu Panda!" "♪" "♪ Doo-doo-doo-doo- sho-bom, doom-doom-doom!" "♪" "♪ Master Shifu saw the warrior blossom ♪" "♪ and master the skills of bodacious and awesome ♪" "♪ Kung Fu Panda. ♪" "♪ Doo-doo-doo-doo doom-doom-doom-doom!" "♪" "♪ He lives, he trains ♪" "♪ and he fights with the Furious Five ♪" "♪ protect the Valley somethin' somethin' ♪" "♪ somethin' somethin' alive ♪" "♪ Oh!" "Ah!" "Uh!" "♪" "♪ Kung Fu Panda ♪" "♪ Legends of awesomeness. ♪" "Sweet!" "Legend tells of the awesomely awesome giant," "Charitable Chan!" "He sought out the rich and fancy, distributing their shiny coins to those in need, knowing that there was nothing better than those who have giving to those who do not and so..." "I'm guessing you're asking for a donation." "For the new children's hospital." "Good cause." "I encourage you all to give till it hurts." "Oww!" "You!" "Hurts you!" " Sounds awesome." " Good job, Po." "Uh, sorry, Po." "I spent my last few coins on a new nasal irrigator." "Ain't she a beaut...?" "But, uh, I'd be happy to donate my services in any way I can." "Uh, excuse me." "Wait a minute, great idea!" " We can all donate our services!" " Which means?" "We'll hold a Jade Palace fancy pants auction!" "You mean get people to bid money on us?" "Right." "Whoever bids the most gets to spend the day with their favorite Kung Fu master." "Is that an incredibly awesome idea or what?" "I doubt Master Shifu would approve." "He won't know." "He's off on his yearly pilgrimage to enhance his spiritual powers." "Just a little to the left." "There... ah!" "Thank you." "Yeah, no auction for me, Po." "What if Mrs. Yoon bids on me?" "I'd have to spend the day with her." "She smells like paste!" "Paste!" "Come on, you guys are the Furious Five." "Where's your furious feistiness?" "Oh, okay." "I get it." "I'll obviously fetch the highest donation, 'cause I'm the most popular Kung Fu master." "You guys are just scared that you'll get smoked." "Most popular Kung Fu doofus is more like it." " I'm in." " It's on, panda!" "You're a glutton for humiliation." "Yes!" "Another victory for Charitable Chan!" " Stop that." " Yeah." "Hello!" "And welcome to the Jade Palace" "Master of Kung Fu charity auction!" "Brought to you by Ping's noodle shop." "This week only, all noodle soup profits go directly to the new children's hospital." " Yay!" " Yay!" "But not dessert profits." " Aww." " Aww." "But let's not go cuckoo crazy here." "Hmm... okay, dessert profits too." " Yay!" " Yay!" "Okay, okay." "Let's get right to the bidding." "First up, master Tigress!" "Watch and learn, charitable chump." " Actually, it's..." " Hiyaa!" "Eh, I've seen better." " 20 yuan!" " 25!" " 30!" " Uh, 30?" " Going once, twice..." " 40!" "Sold!" "You win a day with Tigress!" "40 yuan?" "I can beat that." " 35!" " 40!" "50!" "Done!" "50 yuan wins a day with Monkey..." " Told you!" " For Mrs. Yoon!" "Paste!" "50 yuan?" "Wow, Crane, you've got a hard act to follow." "Oh, yeah?" "You just watch." "Next up, master Crane!" " Ew." " Ew." "Excuse me." "A lot of allergens in the air." "It'll, uh, it'll clear up in a second." "Well, that was unattractive." "Okay, do I hear 40?" "Uh, 39?" "33?" "Oh, really?" "Seven?" "Come on, people!" "What's with the limp bidding?" "This is Master Crane we're talking about!" "He's awesome." "Uh, Po, please." " It's, uh..." "I can..." " Hold on, buddy." "I mean, you gotta love the legendary Crane-ster." " Am I right?" " Well, actually, his Kung Fu is great." "But he tells really boring stories." "And we don't find him kid-relatable." "The sounds from his nose haunt my dreams!" "Wait!" "None of that's true!" "Except for maybe the haunted dreams part." "But Crane's super-cool." "And check out this wicked accessory!" "Yoww!" "Ooh, that stings!" "Why would you do this to yourself?" "That's what we're saying!" "Sorry I ruined your auction, Po." "But Crane, they didn't... mean to..." " That didn't go very well, did it?" " Oh, you figure that all out by yourself?" "The people are watching." "Continue the auction." "Let's keep the, uh, good times rolling with the Dragon Warrior!" "Okay, Dragon Warrior, show us what you got!" "You didn't really think that pathetic cage could hold me, did you?" " Feunghuang!" " She's going to attack!" "Hang on... she might just be here for the auction." "Look out!" " Po, Tigress, what happened?" " I'd be happy to show you!" "How pathetic." "Let me put you out of your misery." "Ow!" "Guys!" "Her talons!" "They can't cut through iron!" "Hey, this is for you." "Pffft!" "My talons!" "My beautiful talons!" "Here's where you say something pithy like, "curse you!"" "Or "I'll get you!"" "Or, "that didn't feel very good on my face."" "Let's hear it for the Dragon Warrior and the Furious Five!" " More like the Furious Four!" " I'm okay." "I got this." "Ha ha." "Why don't you paint a picture?" "It'll last longer." "Sorry, guys." "My bad." "Focus, Crane." "Even though she's injured," "Feunghuang won't be easy to capture." "We have to go after her." " Ow." " Just leave him alone, Po." "Crane's an accomplished Kung Fu master." "He'll get his confidence back." " Yeah, and I think I have a plan!" " Yeah, that's not what I..." "Hey, buddy!" "Uh, sorry about yesterday." "Oh, no." "It was good." "I realize now that my life's a lie and the people I've sworn to protect think I'm a joke." "There's lot of room for personal growth here." "Ow!" "Crane!" "They just don't know the real you!" "But we can show them the real you!" " How?" " By totally changing you!" "Now you're working it!" "You're bad!" "And I mean good bad bad, not bad bad." "Just keep working it." "Yeah!" "Work it!" "Uh, are you sure this is, uh, you know, cool?" "You bet." "Now you're styling." "They're still snickering at me." "No, they're not." "They're snickering with you." "Tea cup's half full, buddy." "Who's the Crane?" "Oh, yeah!" "That's what the water fowl brings to the party." "Oh, you poor thing." "Any other bright ideas?" "I don't understand." "Your strutting was flawless, and Fu Manchus are the new goatees." "Thanks, Po..." "Ah!" "But it's no use." "Face it..." "I'm a joke." "Oh, come on, Crane." "It wasn't that bad." "The mustache maybe, but the hat... it looked cool!" "Where have you guys been?" "Feunghuang's been spotted up in the mountains." " And she's still nursing her wing!" " This is our chance to capture her." "Come on, we've gotta get up there while she's still weak." " I..." "I'm not going." " Huh?" "Crane, no!" "We need you." "Po, you saw me freeze up when Feunghuang attacked, and you heard everyone laughing when we went down to the village." "So?" "That's something." "Crane, we're friends, and being friends means we can always count on each other no matter what anybody else thinks." "Sorry, Po." " Crane." " Po..." "He's made his choice." "We've gotta get going." "I hope my strength holds out!" " I hope your tail holds out!" " Monkey, start pulling!" "That's it, come right to me." "I'm so injured and helpless." " Rock slide!" " It's Feunghuang!" "It's a trap!" "I had to make my talons extra sharp just for you." "Flattered?" "I can't reach her!" "Oof!" "Tigress!" "Noo!" "Noo!" " Tigress!" " I got you!" "It's over, panda!" "Up here, I have the advantage." "And that, Zeng, is how my uncle decided to re-insulate the nest with thatched reed instead of the more popular doubled-up bundled straw." "That's very..." "interesting, Master Crane." "You know, true story about thatched reed..." "Uh, Master Crane?" "Forgive me, but, uh, why didn't you go with the others?" "Because I'm a joke, Zeng." "at any moment, I could freeze up." "At least here I can't hurt anyone." "What was that?" "Master, isn't that where the others went?" "Shouldn't we do something?" "Master Crane?" "What do we do?" "What do we do!" "When I'm done with you, all those villagers are going to have to cheer for are a few tufts of fur." "Aww, kitty still wants to pway." "Gotcha!" "Whoa!" "Let go of me, you fur-ball!" "What?" "Mama..." "Air getting a little thin, big boy?" "No, I..." "always... breathe... like this... before I..." "pass out." "Scratch one Dragon Warrior." "Whoo-hoo!" "Whoo!" "Yeah!" "Whoa-ho!" " Whoo-hoo!" "Whoo-hoo-hoo!" " What?" "Yes!" "Bizarre panda-crane aerial combo unit, attack!" "No, no!" "That's impossible!" "Up, up, and in your face!" "FYI... ah!" "This is very bad for sinuses... ah!" "Not really the time." "Double..." "Po, come on." "I can't defeat her by myself!" "All right, let's do this!" "Aww, what's the matter, little birdie?" "Lose your confidence?" "I just found it." "Wha..." "Hmm... oh!" "Oww!" "Noo!" "Crane, you did it!" "You beat Feunghuang!" "And you totally got over your battle funk!" "Master Crane!" "Master Crane!" "Master Crane, Master Crane, Master Crane!" "It is with great pleasure that I announce the grand opening of the new children's hospital." "Master Crane, as one of the most respected and loved members of the Furious Five, will you do the honors?" "Well, uh... me?" "Way to go, buddy." " Was that ribbon made of silk?" " Let's get him inside." " He's allergic to silk?" " Of course." "Let's hear it for Master Crane, the hospital's first patient!" "Master Crane!" "Master Crane!"