"Ring, phone, ring." "Oh, hallelujah." "Hello, Geoffrey?" "No." "It's... it's me." "Well, I thought you wanted it to ring." "Dang it, mama." "I'm waiting on a very important call from my record producer about my song." "I know." "Everything that's happened in the past, ma, the pain and the heartache..." "It's all in there." "If they don't like it, then they don't like me..." "In song form." " Come on, my poor baby." " What?" " Right here." " Oh." "* Little red Reba, she can't sleep *" "Aw." "* Little red Reba counting sheep *" "I remember this song." "* Out from the woods the wolf comes down * * out from the closet a crazy clown *" "You know that's a terrifying image for a 5-year-old?" "* The wolf bites the clown, and the clown throws a pie * * little red Reba gets pie in her eye *" "* walkin' with my head high * soaking' up the sunshine * nah-nah-nah-nah-nah, life is sweet *" "Ugh." "Voice mail again." "Hurry up, kids!" "You gon' be late for school!" "Time to be someone else's headache!" "Mama." "Well..." "Good mornin', everybody!" "Today is a new day." "And not just 'cause it's mornin'." "I finally figured out why I'm having trouble getting people out here to like me." "Oh, honey, everybody likes you." "No, they don't." "Well, everybody here." "Well, people should like me." "I mean, I still have my great looks, my charm, my fantastic personality." "But... but something was holding me back." "Too humble?" "Not that." "No, it's... it's my accent." "I need to change it." "Why?" "Why?" "Yeah, why?" "That's whaa." "I-I don't get it." "Mama, we talk funny." "Like the other day, I was trying to say," ""chewing' ice."" "And everyone made fun of me, 'cause it sounded like "chewing' ass."" ""Chewin' ass"?" "Why is that funny?" "Well, that's why I'm using Malibu accent from now on." "Cash, are you sure about this?" "You bet your board shorts, brah!" "Mom... mom, it is a brilliant plan." "You should talk that way at school in front of everyone, all the time, constantly." "Righteous!" "What are you doing?" "I'm just having a little fun, mom." "Get of my ice." "Ha." "All right, I'm-a let that one go, 'cause that was funny." "Reba, I have some news for you that is going to make you incredibly happy." "Now I'm sure you thought after your husband cheated on you that nobody would ever be attracted to you again, that maybe you would spend the rest of your life alone, and that when you died, cats could come and eat your corpse but..." "Okay, all right." "All right." "All right." "All right." "Get to the happy." "Okay." "You have a secret admirer." " What?" " Yes." "There is a love letter inside this conch shell." "He left it on your steps." "It says..." "He wants to meet" ""the beautiful angel who sang this morning."" "I didn't sing this morning." "What?" "I did!" "I sang!" " I'm the angel." " Oh." "Here you go." "Sorry, Reba, but, you know..." "Yay for Lillie Mae!" "Oh, wow." "You need to write your secret lover back." "Oh, well, I've got a very sexy sonnet in the hopper." "Oh, no." "No, no, no, no." "You are not writing him back." "And whaa?" "Because we don't know who he is." "Well, yeah, that's the beauty of it, Reba." "He could be anybody." "Yes, he could be anybody." "Like somebody who buries people in their basements." "Lord, they don't even have basements in California." "I'm gonna write him back." "Okay." "Good luck." "Whoo-hoo." " Okay, Reba, here's a little Malibu etiquette for you." " What?" "See, we don't look at our phones when someone is talking to us unless we are in a restaurant." "I'm sorry, Kim, but I'm waiting on a very important call from my record producer about my song." "Well, why are you just sitting around and waiting?" "You need to be proactive." "Go down there and demand a meeting." "Don't say "please," and don't say..." ""I appreciate it so much." "Bless your little heart." You know?" "Just go down there, get in front of Mr. Bata and don't stop until you're standing right there." "That's a great idea." "I'm gonna do just that." "You go, girl." "All right." "Hey!" "What are you doing?" "I'm going in there." "No, you're not." "Nobody goes in there." " I am." " Listen." "If he won't see his kids without an appointment, he's not gonna see you." "I'm killing myself trying to restart my music career." "And I thought you were gonna help me." "Why is this so hard?" "Because this man gave me my first shot, okay?" "This man pays me to be his gatekeeper." "This man is a giant in the music industry." "You're scared of him." "Terrified." "Mami, he is an evil man who lives to see me cry." "All right, Geoffrey, you and I both know that I have a great song." "You said so yourself." "Please?" "I mean, you're right." "It is a great song." "And he should hear it." "And I should be the one to give it to him." "So get in there and give it to him." "I would like to, but I can't feel my arms." "Okay, I got it." "How do I look?" "Great." "I know, right?" "Yes, sir." "I understand, sir." "Sorry about the eye contact, sir." "Well?" "Victory!" "* Oh, yeah, oh, yeah * who's a bad boy?" "Who's a killer?" "* * who's a shark?" "All right." "Okay!" "All right." "All right." "All right." "Hey." "Stop dancing and talk to me." " He loved it." " Really?" "Oh, my dream is coming true!" "If there's one song that I can sing and knock out of the ballpark, it's this one." "Actually, if there's one song you can't sing and knock out of the ballpark, it's this one." "What do you mean?" "Mr. Bata wants someone else to record it." "* who's a killer?" "Who's a shark?" "*" "What do you mean" "I'm not gonna be able to sing my song?" "Mr. Bata loves it so much that he wants a rapper to do it." "A rapper?" "Yeah." "You know that rapper Travie McCoy?" "Ay, of course you don't." "Look at you." "Anyway, he wants Travie to do it." "Okay." "I'm sure Mr. Travie is a nice young feller, but I have put my heart and soul into this song for me to sing." "Yeah, but, mami, this is money." "This is exposure." "You wanna throw that all away because you care about what you wrote?" "Do you?" "Do you?" "Seriously?" "Do you?" "Mama?" "Glinting gold thine hair entwined..." "Tiny tush viewed from behind." "Adonis' feet grip the board." "Six-pack tummy." "Praise the lord." "What's going on here, mama?" "Oh, Reba, this is bodie, Lillie Mae's secret admirer." "We're doing an energy circle." "Isn't he pretty?" "And I could eat him with a spoon." "You're the one that wrote the letter?" "Well, I heard her voice this morning and knew she was a kindred spirit." "I was totally be... besottened by her couplets." "Close enough." "You know, bodie is a surfer and an energy guru." "Mama, don't you think that bodie's a little bit too..." "Blonde for you?" "What she means is that bodie is too young for me." "That's great." "Mama, can I talk to you in private, please?" "But bodie is not my first younger suitor." "You remember that summer I was a greeter at dollywood?" "Yes, ma'am, I do." "You had quite a pep in your step that summer." "Thanks to a young ticket taker who was in the prime of his manhood." "How old was he, mama?" "Well, I don't care to do the math, but let's say he was big enough to ride the rides." "Well, you know what?" "I have enough problems of my own." "So you guys just sit out here in your energy circle, and I'm gonna go inside and sit in my anger square." "Bye." "Hey." "Why so glum, chum?" "Oh, is it because your ancient mother is getting more action than you are?" "No." "Mr. Bata wants some rapper named Travie to sing my song." " Travie McCoy?" " Yeah." "The "I wanna be a billionaire/ my heart's a stereo" guy?" "Oh, my gosh." "When's he recording it?" "I don't know if he is." "Wh-why?" "Because I wanna sing it!" "Well, Reba, then why don't you just go down there and say, "excuse me, but I would like to sing this with you"?" "What do you..." "what do you mean?" "What do you mean what do I mean?" "I mean, okay, rappers do it all the time, right?" "It's like crossing genres, much like what your mother is doing out on the deck." "That actually is a good idea, and you've had two today." "I know." "Maybe you ought to take a rest." "I'm going in there this time." " He is not in there." " What?" "Hey, Travie!" "What's up, what's up, what's up?" " Is he in?" " Yeah, absolutely." "Go right ahead." "Wait a second." "You're Travie?" " Pleasure to meet you." " Oh." "See?" "I keep trying to tell you guys, my fans cross all demographics..." "black, white, young..." "Grandmas." "No, no, no." "I'm Reba." "I wrote the song you're gonna record." "Wait, you did?" "That song's dope." "When I sing it, it's gonna be a monster." "Well..." "That's what I wanna talk to you about." "I wanna sing it with you, to be a part of the..." "Dope... monster." "Oh, she's talking like a crazy lady." "Get out of here, crazy lady." "Go feed the pigeons." "No, what I mean is, I wanna sing it with you." "Country, rap..." "Like a duet." "You talking, like, a fresh collabo." "Yeah, that's what I'm talking about." "A-a Rebo-Travie-collabo." "Me, you..." "Rap meets country..." " I know." "It's totally ridiculous." " I totally dig it." "I dig it, too." "Oh, my God." "Rebo, have a seat." "Ugh!" "Just leave me alone!" "I can't leave y'all alone." "We's kinfolk!" "Will you please stop talking like that?" "Whaa?" "I needs to practice my new accent." "Y'all did done good learning' me the secret to pop-u-larity." "Okay, look, it is bad enough all the Malibu kids were making fun of me, but come on." "You're my sister." "You're right, cash." "I should have had your back, just like you had mine in Nashville." "What is that supposed to mean?" "Back home, I was the dorky kid who ate lunch alone." "And you... you were the king of the school." "The worst teasing I went through was the stuff that came from my own brother." "Not true." "I never teased you." "Two words, cash..." "My perm." "I'm sorry, but that was just dumb." "I was unpopular for 14 years." "And you've been unpopular for, what, 14 days?" "I know." "I know." "We've been through hell." "Forget it." "No, look, sis, come here." "All right." "I get your point, okay?" "Maybe it's..." "it's, uh, too late, but I'm sorry if I ever made you feel like this." "Cash, you're gonna be fine." "Believe me, in a few months, you'll be back to where you were in the social hierarchy." "You..." "You'll be popular." "Oh." "Uh, what do I do until then?" "I don't know." "Maybe you could try picking up a book?" "I'll just wait it out." "Ohh." "I can't believe I'm finally gonna get to record the song." "Thanks for this, Geoffrey." "Ah, you're welcome." "So you nervous?" "Ah, not much." "I did have a dream last night that I lost my voice, my hair was plaid, and I couldn't find my pants, but, you know, it's a good nervous." "Yeah." "Good for you, because I am freaking out." "I mean this is the first time that Mr. Bata has given me the lead on anything." "You'll be fine." "Uh, just remember..." "* You the shark, you the bad boy * * you the go girl, you the shark * * you the finger, you the shark *" "It's weird coming from you." "Just stay in your wheelhouse." "Oh, look, Travie walked in." "Go say "hi."" "Oh, okay." " 'Sup, Reba?" " 'Sup?" "Hey, I was gonna bring my entourage today, but they had to go to school." "You know, pizza day at the cafeteria." "Listen, we'll run your track a few times, warm you up, then we'll lay it down." "You wanna take us in from the chorus?" "Cool?" "Yeah." "Cool." "Coolio." "Oh, I wasn't calling you "coolio."" "But I..." "I do want to get credit for knowing a rapper's name." "Reba, you ready?" "Ready." "* Walkin' with my head high * soaking' up the sunshine" "* LA-LA-LA-LA-LA, life is sweet *" "* I don't really need him" "* I got wheels of freedom * and that's why good-bye * looks so good on me" "Oh, okay." "Uh, what's going on?" "These are the d-cups." "Doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out how they got their names, huh?" "Can I talk to you just a second over here?" "Uh, why are they dressed like that?" "I know it's not really sexy, but they'll have the G-strings on when we start shooting." "What?" "We're gonna film this?" "I'm sorry." "I should have told you." "Can we get her a bikini top?" "Oh!" "Uh, no." "Uh... uh..." "Give me just a second." "Sure." "I am not wearing a bikini." "Reba, you have got to go with the flow." "I don't mind going with the flow." "But I just didn't realize there was gonna be all these G-strings and camera flippin' and d-cups." "Okay, look, I know that back when you did this," "Russia was still a threat and everybody was walking like an Egyptian, but this is now!" "Reba, we... this is important stuff we use for the web!" "What ever happened to just makin' a good song?" "I... ooh." "Reba, you sounded great." "I'm ready for my version." "Oh, yeah." "Let's do it." "Let's do it." "Ready to go." "All right." "Rolling." "Yo, roll the cameras." "* I'm tying up every Loose string * and then I'm pullin' up my blue jeans *" "* In my holster * kick-kickin' your memories * and it's gonna be easy, you can't *" " * Not today..." " Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa." "Whoa." "That is not what those lyrics mean at all!" "Lyrics are open for interpretation." "Not that much!" "This song is supposed to empower women." "That's what the d-cups are for." "You ladies feel empowered, right?" "Uh... see?" "He's empowered." "I'm empowered." "They're empowered." "Everybody, let's sing!" "Let's sing." "Travie, just give us a second." "I need to talk to Geoffrey, okay?" "I am not giving up my song." "It's personal to me." "This is about the hardest time in my life." "I get it." "You're a temperamental artist." "But couldn't you just take your frustration out by trashing a hotel room?" "You know what?" "I'll book you one right now." "Geoffrey, singing that song is my dream." "And making that song a hit is my dream." "Please don't take that away from me." "Okay." "I'll give up the song, if you can answer me one question honestly." "Okay." "Anything." "Ask away." "How did you feel when you first heard my song?" "Let's see." "Um..." "I-I was inspired." "I mean..." "You were struggling with a decision that didn't just affect you, but it affected your whole family." "But in the end, it was uplifting." "And how did you feel when you heard this version, with all the jigglin', and the D-cups and the g-strings?" "I felt..." "Well, first of all, I wasn't distracted by the d-cups." "Never happened, never will be." "But I felt like it was..." "Just a little..." "A little..." "Yeah, exactly." "Ah, damn you for making me feel something." "Hey, you were the one that pushed me to put my heart and soul into it." "You're pretty much responsible." "You're right." "I am." "That's it, Reba." "You're not giving up my song." "No." "Thank you." "Somebody should go tell Travie." "And that somebody should be me." "Okay." "You gonna go in there?" "I would like to, but I can't feel my arms." "Thank you." "* Yeah * ha ha * it's Travie" "* Reba, here we go" "* I'm tying up every little loose string * * puttin' on my blue jeans * lipstick in my holster * kickin' your memory's gonna be easy * * kick-kickin' your memories * * and it's gonna be easy" "* you can't stop me, not today *" "* I'll be the one who got away, Reba?" "*" " * walkin' with my head high * - * I'm walkin' with my head high * * soaking' up the sunshine * I'm soakin' up the sunshine" " * LA-LA-LA-LA-LA, life is sweet * - * Yeah, yeah, yeah * * uh-huh" " * I don't really need him * - * Nah *" "* I got wheels of freedom * uh-huh * and that's why goodbye * looks so good on me * goodbye looks good on me * goodbye looks good on me * it sure does * goodbye looks good on me" "* goodbye looks good on me" "Ow!"