"masters.of.horror Season 2 Episode 7" "The screwfly-- tiny,seemingly innocuous, but a deadly menace to men and cattle alike." "This vicious pest lays its parasitic larvae in cuts and open wounds,often with fatal results." "In the 1950s,screwflies killed over $2,000,000 worth of livestock every single year." "Then scientists bred millions of male screwflies, exposed them to sterilizing x-rays, and released them into the wild to mate." "The result?" "A shattered reproductive cycle, a dwindling population, and within a few generations, the near eradication of the species." "Morning,joe." "Looks like it's going to be a hot one." "Hot one already." "Would you like a lemonade if I fix some?" "Nah.That's awfully sweet of you." "I'm just fine,thanks." "No trouble." "Thanks just the same." "I'm fine." " mr.Spriggs." " Officers." "What can I do for you?" "Well,sir,we had a call that there was,uh." "would you mind if we had a quick look around?" "Please do." "I apologize for the mess." "I was just tidying up." "You have the right to remain silent." "Anything you say can and will be used against you." "How about it,joe?" "What the hell happened here?" "I told you.It was the lord." "The lord came and spoke to me." "He spoke to you?" "What did he say?" "He said,"joe,clean up this place."" "That's all I'm doing." "Poor old joe." "What?" "Women's shelter." "This is shelley." "It's the third time,brenda." "This can't go on." "You know it can'T." "The kids need their father." "The kids do not need to see their mother looking like this." "I have no one-- no one to turn to but you." "We'll always be here, but the shelter is a stop-gap solution." "you need to make a real change." "Your sister in florida,didn't she offer to let you stay with her?" "I can't get a hold of her." "What do you mean?" "I called.Nick answers." "He says she's out." "I ask where.He says he doesn't know." "I asked him to have her call me and he said he would, but she never calls." "The thing that scares me, her daughter lives there in town." "I was worried,and so I called her." "And?" "And her husband answered, and he said the same thing." "He said she was out." "I asked him where and he said he didn't know." "This has been going on for a week." "Now,scientists say that if global warming continues to accelerate, the penguins could be extinct within 50 years." "And in saudi arabia yesterday, 150 women were publicly executed for violations against so-called sharia law." "Now in a similar incident last week in iran." "Figures." "150 women dead and penguins get top billing." "I just wish we could nuke those fucking ragheads." " Don't say "ragheads."" " Don't say "fucking."" "I can't help it.I mean, why do they have to hate on women?" "They can't control their own urges,amy, so they try to control us instead." "It's hardwired." "Women nurture,men destroy." "Bella,that is steaming sexist bullshit." "My husband has just spent five months in colombia trying to oh,he's one of the rare good ones." "It's a "welcome home" party." "Do you think we could just go two hours with no gender wars,please?" "I love your husband." "He's a much better feminist than you are." "Never surrender." "Reverend randy cooney called the two men martyrs of conscience." "oh,good god.There's your fucking ragheads." "Coincidentally where other women have been recently found dead." "Jacksonville,florida." "That's weird.My client was just today saying that she..." "Daddy's home!" "Amy." "Oh,my god.You're almost as tall as." "alan." "You are so beautiful." "Hey,uncle barney.Welcome home." "Woman,fetch my pipe and slippers." "You pig." "I haven't wanted to kill you for five months." "So keep the calendar clear." "We're all invited back in february,the whole family." " Why?" " My god,you didn't tell them?" "Apparently,we've been awarded some sort of medal." "It's the highest honor they ever bestow on a civilian-- of foreign extraction-- on tuesdays and thursdays." "Your brilliant father and i are helping them eradicate a very nasty pest called the cane fly." "What does it do?" "It flies in your ear or up your nose and lays its eggs in your head." "Oh,like alien." "Exactly like alien." "And when those larvae hatch, they're very hungry, and they start to eat your" "Oh,barney,jesus." "Come on." "More dessert,anyone?" "No thanks." "So what's the gimmick this time?" "We cooked up a little enzyme that interrupts the male reproductive routine." "Disseminated how?" "Crop dusters." "With what effect on the other indigenous species?" "It's not a pesticide,bella." "It's cane fly specific.It has no effect on other species." "Really?" "Well,let's say I'm mother nature, and let's say I've created the cane fly for a purpose to keep us humans out of the rainforest." "So now the cane fly is gone and we start clear-cutting the trees to make room for beef cattle." "And suddenly thousands of species are dead, deprived of their natural habitat." "Bella,we're talking about an extremely lethal pest." "Really?" "Well, if you're a polar bear and your ice flow is melting,maybe we're the pest." "Speak for yourself,darling." "Look,we mess with nature simply because we can, and it will come back on us." "And,yeah,sometimes I do wish we would wipe ourselves out before we destroy the entire planet" "Excuse me." "Oh,I'm really sorry, but I have to take this." "Wow,she's bugging tonight." "Good old bella,the only epidemiologist who roots for the disease." "I'm afraid I have to do you the favor of cutting this delightful evening short." "That the was the national institutes of health.I'm on a plane in the morning." "What's going on?" "Bird flu has finally arrived." "Whole town's going under quarantine." "What town?" "Jacksonville,florida." "Good night,honey." "Barney,I'll see you at the office." "No bullshit.What's really happening?" "It's classified,barney." "If I tell you,I am in deep,deep trouble." "Well,in that case,I should really buy you a drink." "A double." "Jacksonville,florida,that's so bizarre." "What are the odds?" "Mom,dad,look!" "A falling star." "You better make a wish." "What did you wish for?" "I can't tell you.It's A." "oh,hey!" "I guess this means I don't get my wish." "That depends entirely on what you wished for." "All right,come on,kid.It's time for you to go to bed." "I already got my wish." "Hey,nicole." "They're doing it." "What are you doing?" "I'm smelling you." "I haven't smelled you in five months." "God,I missed you." "I would go to the shelter and talk to the women there and I could just feel myself turning into bella." "Looks like I got back just in time,huh?" "Were you surrounded by native girls?" "Oh,yeah,and they were all 19." "I had to teach them all to wear shirts." "We are so lucky,alan." "When I'm with you,it's like the whole ugly world just goes away." "Jesus!" "What the holy hell are they thinking of?" "And just which one are you?" "Doctor what?" "Dr.Bella sartiano, national institutes of health." "Step out of the vehicle,please." "I'm here on orders from washington,D.C." "You have no authority to detain me here." "Do you understand the situation here,ma'am?" "As of this afternoon, we have 1,100 homicides." "That's why I'm here." "All of them women like you." "Major,I am an epidemiologist." "I need to take blood samples, air samples,water samples." "We're talking murders,not diseases." "The two are related." "What do you think,1,110 women all got a little too mouthy?" "We'll see that you're comfortable." "Oh,how chivalrous." "the soldier who killed the stripper, is he still in your custody?" "Mr.Mayor." "Father." "Private,this is dr.Sartiano." "You're to answer her questions." "Cooperate with her in any way she requires.Do you understand?" "I don't owe her any explanations." "Private,it would be in your best interests sergeant,thank you." "You're the one who killed the dancer." "Well,ma'am," "I can't say for certain who killed who, but I did my bit." "Do you regret it?" "I regret being in here." "Did you know this street preacher,this rodney bearden?" "Never saw him before that night." "Sure noticed him,though." "An oddball,kind of stood out." "In what way?" "Seemed unusual,that's all." "Fella goes to a titty bar and tries not to look at the girls?" "Kept fiddling with something in his hand clutching at it,and he's bleeding all over his napkin." "It was barbed wire." "So anyway,fauna,she gets right up in his grill." "She's giving him a really good show." "You know,I think she took him as a challenge." "You knew her name?" "Yeah." "You went there often." "They said you were something of a regular." "Yeah." "Well,I can understand about rodney, why he did it,but I don't understand about you." "I didn't either,at the time." "But I know now." "The spirit of god had entered me." "It cleansed me." "At long last,it made me right." "See,in the garden,man lived in a state of innocence and bliss." "Then woman arrived, the temptress,and wrecked god's plan." "But woman was part of god's plan." "It's in the bible." ""Male and female created he them."" "Even the devil quotes scripture." " Before this happened." " No,no." "I understand why they sent you down here, and I'm not falling for it." "I know your kind." "It's what you lure them with,isn't it?" "Those big old titties of yours." "Get them hard." "And then you climb right on top of your sloppy" " sergeant?" " I know what you are!" "Well,the first one is your standard evangelical crank." "The second one's never cracked a bible in his life." "It's like this psycho religion just jumped into his head." "You said,what,1,100 dead?" "In jacksonville,barney." "The nih is tracking half a dozen other outbreaks pensacola,baton rouge,houston." "Let me guess." "Austin,el paso,scottsdale jesus,barney,how did you tucson,san diego." "Not tucson or san diego." "They'll be next." "I'm looking at a map,bella." "It's a straight fucking line." "What are you saying?" "30 degrees north,due west of aqaba,jordan and shiraz,iran." "The horse latitudes." "The intertropical convergence zone." "Bella,what kind of religious mania follows an airborne disease vector?" "I'll tell you this,barney." "Something is fucking with their chemicals, and whatever it is is triggered by sexual arousal, just like your bugs." "Reading the book,I see." "What do you think of it?" "It's interesting,sir.It's,um." "it's deep." "Have you ever seen an angel,sergeant?" "No,sir,I haven'T." "Let me tell you,they're not at all what you would expect." "Dr.Sartiano,did you find what you needed?" "yeah,thank you." "Mr.Mayor,have a look at this." "New delhi." "A raft of corpses in the river." "So many the boats couldn't pass." "All women." "It's not just here." "It's global." "Something's happened." "Something glorious has happened." "I took care of that for you." "She was one of those crypto-females." "That's the worst kind." "You'll need to dispose of her." "Yes,sir." "Right." "Agent keane,fbi." "What's this about?" "Sir,there's a flight leaving in one hour." "We very much need you to be on it." "What's this about?" "Dr.Bella sartiano told us you had information that could be of vital importance bella?" "When was this?" "About 10 minutes before she died." "This is the normal mating ritual of the spruce budworm moth." "Now,watch what happens when we introduce the enzyme we developed." "You see,the male and the female connect as before, but the turning instinct of the male has been artificially blocked." "He doesn't know how to do it." "He's trying to mate with her head." "Needless to say,the pregnancy rate in the moth goes drastically down." "Well,gentlemen,I enjoyed the show, but I have to wonder what this bug pornography has to do with our current predicament." "Well,sir,we believe that the recent events in jacksonville,shreveport,el paso,scottsdale and elsewhere may be the direct result of a deliberate attempt to tamper with the human reproductive cycle." "So you're suggesting that this enzyme of yours somehow escaped into the human population?" "No,it's tailored to one species." "To work on us,someone would have to design a human specific version." "In humans,as in most mammals, male sexual urges are very closely linked with aggression." "Now,somehow,someone has figured out a way to erase the distinction." "Bioterror.But who?" "That religious cult,sons of adam." "No,no religious cult has the technical know-how to do this." "The religion,gentlemen,is not a cause." "It's a symptom." "This phenomenon is spreading along a standard disease vector, and it's very contagious." "The idea of attacking women." "sounds to me like islamic fundamentalists." "Obviously we haven't made ourselves clear." "We don't think that this is rooted in some hostility toward women." "We think that this is a concerted attempt to exterminate the human race." "You're not making any sense." "Whoever's behind this would have to be suicidal." "It's happening,sir." "And until we can figure out a cause and a cure, we have to begin the immediate evacuation of the female population." "Meaning what?" "Meaning any woman who's living south of the 35th parallel is in grave danger, and we have to put them all in camps." "And we should be in immediate mass production on two drugs:" "Depo-lupron and depo-provera." "Now,wait a minute." "You're talking about... chemical castration." "Mandatory for military, rescue workers,law enforcement, and highly recommended for everybody else." "Let me be blunt,sir." "I'm a married man." "I have a daughter, and I am a potential murderer." "So are you,so are you,and so is everybody in this room." "Well,I will not ask our brave young men to stand in line for some shot that takes aw their manhood." "There's got to be some alternative." "There is." "Actual castration." "But we can't take another busload." "Well,we don't have enough beds now." "Did you try lansing?" "And how about flint?" "Fine,we're just going to have to make do." "Yeah,all right." "Where's this batch from?" "Alabama." "Do you know where we can get a couple hundred spare blankets from?" "You know,anne,all those months I thought you were normal and I was odd." "But now you see,don't you?" "I'm the normal one." "I was the normal one all along." "Hey,ma'am." "Show is your tits,ma'am." "I'll show you mine!" "So they're going to stay with us." "Oh,not in my room." "Look,honey,they've been through terrible things." "We're up north,we're safe, so we have to help." "I know,but why can't they just stay in the guest room?" "Hey,ladies!" "Amy,we need to talk about the way you dress." "No,no,no.They're just creeps." "Nice ass!" "Amy!" "Jesus christ." "What's wrong with you?" "Get in the car." "Hey,lady." "Come on." "Learn how to drive,bitch." "Mom,did you just see that?" "Switch number three to pheromone 2-6-niner alpha." "Number six gets a little trouser twinge every time the bodybuilders come on." "Better keep an eye on that one." "Just as soon as I can,honey." "If there's any reason for you to be scared,I'll let you know." "Yeah,I love you,too." "Kiss her for me,okay?" " Anne?" " She's scared." "Every time a guy looks at her sideways what did you tell her?" "I told her not to be paranoid." "yet." "I mean,we haven't had a case north of st.Louis." "What?" "Indianapolis?" "Just came in." "Indianapolis is likely, cincinnati is confirmed." "Alan,they need you,too.Go home." "Okay,just for a while,maybe." "You can work out of the ann arbor lab." "We'll shoot you the test results as soon as we get them." "Okay." "Do you want the shot?" "No.No,I'm okay." "I've been taking prolactin every day." "How's that working?" "I haven't jumped the cleaning lady yet." "Did you take the shot?" "The young men I'm attracted to usually can beat the hell out of me as it is, but yes,I did take the shot." "I'm sure we'd know if we were starting to show symptoms." "If anyone knows what to look for.right?" "I'm sorry,sir.The 4:40 is full.It's already closed out." "I need to be on that flight." "Well,you're late." "I can try to squeeze you in on the 9 A.M.Tomorrow." "Please,I'm with the centers for disease control." "We're trying to keep this fucking thing from spreading." " I need to be on that flight!" " Sir what don't you fucking understand?" "I'll get my supervisor." "Are there any all-female flights?" "We have the seats,ma'am, but it is a mixed flight." "The next all-female flight is tomorrow." "We'll wait." "We'll take it." "We'll take it." "C.D.C.?" "Let go of me!" "I told you,that plane is full of men!" "Give me my gun!" "I want my gun!" "Dr.Elsteen." "Sir,do you know the way back to the garden?" "We land at 6:12,so I should be home by 7." "Can't wait to see the two of you." "I love you,baby." "Thanks." "Good night." "Good night,daddy." "What happened?" "Did you see what happened?" "This is not my problem,man." "I'm just trying to take a fucking piss!" "She's dead!" "Stupid bitch." "Clear the aisle." "Everyone,please." "Stay in your seats with your seatbelts fastened." "We're about to make our descent and I need everyone to remain calm." "Shut up,will you?" "Shut the fuck up!" "Ma'am,please!" "Control yourself!" "You're upsetting everyone!" "Thank you." "Christ!" "Buckle the fuck up!" "Hello." "Honey." "Oh,baby." "God." "Amy,it's daddy." "Where are you?" "I'm at the airport." "Are you all right?" "It was A. strange flight." "I'm so happy to hear your voice." "Amy's here.Let me put her on." "No,anne.Listen to me." "I'm not coming home yet." "I'm going to the lab." "When will you be home?" "I'm just fixing dinner and amy's" "I'm not coming home." " Let me talk to him." " Two things." "I want you and amy to pack your bags, get in the car, and go as far north as you can." " But what about" " I mean now,anne." "And the other thing." "I want you to get a gun." " Honey,I can't - if you see me, if I come to the house before you leave, if I try to follow you," "I want you to shoot me." "Understand?" "Do you understand?" "So it's-- it's here already?" "I love you,anne." "Don'T." "I've always loved you, but the next time I see you," "I won't be me." "Now let me say good-bye to my daughter." "Daddy." "Why is mom crying?" "When are you coming home?" "Not bad." "One out of how many?" "Your turn." "Look,this is so stupid." "It's not like I'm going to go out and hunt down some little animal." "I'm not worried about little animals." "Don't pull the trigger, just squeeze it really gently." "Good." "Good." "Don't ride the brake,honey." "Left foot stays on the floor." "That's what I'm doing." "Gas and brake is the same foot,then how about this?" "You drive." "Look,you have to learn." "Six months ago you couldn't wait to start." "All you do is criticize." "You keep telling me I have to grow up, but you treat me like an infant." "Sorry." "Look,we're not going home,are we?" "Everything was so normal back there." "Nicole and linda,they message me every night." "The homecoming dance is in two weeks." "You know,if we go back, I'm gonna need a new dress." "God,will you just say it?" "You want me to be a grown-up, then treat me like one." "We're not going home." "Here's the turn." "Amy,stop the car." "What is it?" "I think there's someone in uncle barney's cabin." "It's daddy!" "Amy,no!" "Wait!" "Amy!" "Amy,wait!" "Oh,daddy,we missed you so much." "Amy!" "Oh,no." "It's okay,mom." "Everything's okay." "We can go home now." "Alan?" "We had a little breakthrough, barney and I." "We think we can get it under control." "Is that true?" "Well,then why haven't I heard that from barney?" "I don't know." "I thought he would have called you." "He told you we were here?" "Why wouldn't he?" "Amy,step away from your dad." "No!" "What are you doing?" "Are you crazy?" " Dr.Brazelton can't answer the phone now." " Barney please leave a message." "Barney,it's anne." "Please call me immediately." "Alan's here." "Why didn't you call me?" "I wanted to see you.in person." "I haven't seen you for weeks." "Anne,I'm just here to take you home, that's all." "Look,I'm going with daddy." "There's nothing you can do about it." "It's okay,daddy." "Let's just go." "Let's just get out of here." "Alan,let go of her!" "Alan,listen to me!" "It's amy." "It's your daughter!" "It's amy!" "Oh,christ." "What are you waiting for?" "There's a first aid kit under the sink." " Daddy!" " Get away from him!" "Get in the car!" "No!" "No!" "How could you do it?" "You know,he did nothing wrong." "He was just trying to communicate." "And now,thanks to you,he's probably bleeding half to death on the floor." "Amy,you do not comprehend what's going on." "Oh,I don't comprehend?" "I don't comprehend?" "He said they had a cure." "A cure!" "If you just listen to him." "now it's probably lost forever." "There is no cure,amy." "He was-- what?" "Amy,understand something." "Your daddy told me what might happen to him, and he told me what I would have to do if it did." "The man I shot was not daddy." "The man who pushed you out of the way so that I could do it, that was daddy." "And he did that because he loved you." " And I did what I did because - thank you,mommy." "Is that what you want me to say?" "Amy,what are you doing?" "Amy!" "Amy!" "Amy,honey!" "It's okay." "It's all right." "I brought you some ice." "Now,stay still." "I was having a dream." "I know." "Where am I?" "The hospital." "Amy." "He was there." "He was there!" "That's over now." "We have to get you out of here." "How did I get here?" "I don'T." "I brought you three days ago and I'm afraid things have deteriorated." "What's that?" "Just a little five o'clock shadow,young man." "That'll do for government work." "Do you think you can throw on a pair of pants?" "Okay." "Come on." "Close your eyes." "Close your eyes and follow me." "Thus do I commend thee to our lord of earth, our lord jesus christ,preserver of all mercy." "Thus do I commend thee to our lord of earth,our lord jesus christ,provider of all mercy and judgment." "Barney,I can'T." "Shut up,and keep moving." "Touchdown in the third quarter." "too bad you can't see that.Heck!" "Damn!" "You can practically hear the bones crunching on that one." "You still watching that broken tv?" "Ned,give up on that tv." "It's older than you." "Hey,y'all hear the news?" "Skagway is now a liberated zone." "Hey,it gets better." "Billy here saw an angel of the lord." "That's right,two of 'em." "I followed a deer down to the creek by humpback rock,and there they were." "What did they look like,billy?" "They got a glow to them." "They didn't look anything like their pictures." "Fine young man." "I think you ought to buy him a beer." "Now,I don't know about that." "one to a customer,sir." "I need it." "I'll pay." "Smart people shop for winter beforewinter." "I got what I could." "They wouldn't sell me much." "Did anyone notice?" "I just put my head down and didn't say too much." "Here you go.You drink this." "I'm gonna go and build a fire." "Don'T.It will attract the hunters." "Barney,we can't go like this all winter." "In december,it gets down to 30 below." "I won't make december,anne." "Barney." "got to face facts." "You got to keep going." "So long as you're living, the human race has a chance." "I need you.I need you, barney.I can't do it alone." "It's okay,sweetheart." "I'm an old man." "I'm ready." "I only wish I knew who did this to us." "You really believe that?" "You believe this was deliberate." "Oh,yeah." "Yeah,I do." "Someone watched us." "saw the worst in us" "And decided the world would be a nicer place without us." "Maybe it will be." "Like bella said, the earth's a garden, and we're the pest." "Well,somebody finally called in the exterminator." "Damn it,ned!" "You want to watch tv?" "Sit down and watch it!" "That's all the picture you're going to get." "You can't see nothing!" "Hi,boys." "Where's billy?" "You looking for something?" " Ammo." " Gone." "Fish hooks." "I'll see what I got in back." "It's a bitter thing,carl." "I just can't grasp it." "I mean,I understood the need for janet,but this." "don't blame yourself." "Remember abraham and isaac." "It's the lord's will." "40." "Oh,she sees us,all right." "Missy!" "Can we help you?" "Are you in need of some automotive assistance?" "Come on now,missy!" "Don't be a tease.We ain't gonna hurt ya!" "Yeah,much." "Missy?" "Where you at,missy?" "Cut the dogs loose." "You can run all night!" ""His throne is like a flaming fire,"" "the wheels of it." "like a burning fire." "A swift stream of fire issued forth from before him." "Like bella said, the earth's a garden, and we're the pest." "Well,somebody finally called in the exterminator." "Make a wish." "You better make a wish."