"Quiet, Mirza." "Mirza, quiet now." "Afternoon, madame." " Yes, what is it?" " I'm sorry to bother you." "I was told about an apartment." "This is the right building though, isn't it?" "Who told you?" "A friend of mine." "Uh, well, a relation, actually." " The door." " Sorry." "I gather it's a small two-room apartment." "Think that's all I got to do?" "Some people think a concierge is a slave." "Not me, not me, I assure you." "Would it be more convenient if I came back later?" "Anyway, you have to speak with Monsieur Zy." " I can only show the apartment." " I don't want to be a nuisance... but if it were at all possible... and if I might offer you some... small compensation for your trouble which is only reasonable." "What a lovely little doggie you are." "You're Mirza, aren't you?" "It's a nice name, Mirza." "I'm sorry." "The previous tenant threw herself out of the window." "You can still see where she fell." "Look." "He's gonna have to fix that." "She's not dead yet... though she might as well be." "She's in the Bretonneau hospital." "What if she gets better?" "Don't worry." "She won't get better." "You know, you're onto a good thing here." "Poor woman." "What are the terms?" "Do you know?" "Well, there's a fee for the water." "All the plumbing is new." "You used to have to go out to the landing to get water." " And the toilet?" " It's right over there." "You just go around the corridor, and there it is." "That's a view worth looking at." "How much is the premium?" "The rent is 600 francs a month." "Uh, the premium, I'm not sure about." "I think he wants 5,000 francs." "Five thousand?" "That's a lot of money." "It's not my business." "For that you'll have to talk to Monsieur Zy." "He lives right down here." "I have to get back now." "All right, all right." "We're not deaf." " We don't give to charity." " It's about the apartment." "What apartment?" "On the floor above." "Could I speak to Monsieur Zy?" "Afternoon." "Have you seen the apartment?" "Yes." "That's why I wanted to talk to you, to discuss the terms." "Five thousand premium, six hundred a month." "That's a lot of money." "I couldn't pay more than 4,000." "The concierge told you about the water?" "Yes, she did." "It's damned hard to find an apartment these days, you know." "There's a student up on the sixth floor... gave me half that much for a single room." "Don't get me wrong." "I'm not trying to criticize your apartment... but the toilet is a problem." "Suppose I got sick-- which I don't often do, I can assure you-- and I had to relieve myself in the middle of the night." "It wouldn't be very convenient, would it?" "On the other hand, I could pay you the 4,000 right away, in cash." "It's not only a question of the money." " Let's be clear, Monsieur" " Trelkovsky." "Trelkovsky." "I won't exactly starve without your 5,000." "No." "I'm renting the apartment because it's vacant... and because I know they don't grow on trees." "Of course, Monsieur Zy." "It's perfectly reasonable." "I understand your point." "Could I offer you a cigarette?" "You want 5,000, fine." "But if you got paid by check, you'd have to declare it." "Wouldn't you rather get 4,000 in cash?" "I'd rather get 5,000 in cash than 4,000 in cash." "It's perfectly natural." "Anyway, the former tenant is not dead yet." "If she comes back, you won't even get your 4,000." "You get nothing." "Are you married?" "Excuse the question... but it's because of the children." "This is a very quiet building." " My wife and I are getting on" " I wouldn't say that, Monsieur Zy." "I know what I'm saying." "My wife and I are getting on." "We don't like a lot of noise." "You needn't worry, Monsieur Zy." "I am very quiet myself, and I am a bachelor." "Bachelors can be a problem too." "If you're looking for a place to entertain your girlfriends..." "I'd rather take 2,000 and give it to somebody who really needs it." "I quite agree, but I am not that type." "Well now, I can't give you a definite answer... while Mademoiselle Choule is still alive." "But I like you." "You seem to be a serious young man to me." "I want to visit Mademoiselle Choule." " Simone Choule?" " That's right." " Are you a relative?" " I'm a friend." "Can I help you?" " Are you the head nurse, ma'am?" " Yes." "I'm very glad I found you... because I was told at the reception desk to see you first." " It's about Mademoiselle Choule." " Bed 18." " May I see her?" " She's not to be disturbed." "She was in a coma till yesterday." "Go ahead, but don't try to talk to her." "Are you a friend of hers?" "Excuse me." "I can't believe it." "I just can't believe it." "I was with her the night before." "No, two nights before." "She was in such good spirits." "Why would she do a thing like that?" "To tell you the truth, I'm not a close" " I" "I hardly know her at all, actually, but believe me..." "I'm terribly upset about..." " Yeah." " what's happened." "It's awful." "Simone?" "Simone." "You do recognize me, don't you?" "It's me, Stella." "Your friend, Stella." "Don't you recognize me?" "You'll have to leave now." "Your bag." "Is there any hope of saving her?" "What do you mean?" "If we can save her, we save her." "Careful." "You mustn't give in to your grief." "Huh?" "If you like, we could go and have something to drink." "I think it would help you." "There is a" "Here." "What would you like to drink?" "I don't know." "I'll have, uh, beer." "No, a coffee." "Coffee." "And the lady?" "I don't want a coffee." "You should have something strong." "It will pick you up." "I'll have a small glass of Beaujolais." "A small glass of Beaujolais and..." " a Martini." " No coffee?" "No, no, a Martini." "I completely forgot!" "I have a phone call to make." "I'll be right back." " Waiter!" " All right, I'm coming." "I'll never understand suicide." "I have no argument against it, but it's beyond my comprehension." "Did you ever discuss it with her?" "Never." "I just can't believe it." "It's terrible." "Terrible." "It's terrible, yeah." "Could it have been a disappointment in love, perhaps?" " Something like that?" " Who with?" "I don't know." "Some man." "You know she wasn't interested in men." "Oh, yes, I know, but" "Women as sensitive as she was-- as she is, I mean-- often tend to have... much more complicated relationships than they seem to." "Perhaps she will pull out of it anyway." "I doubt it." "Did you notice that she didn't even recognize me?" "A tragedy." "Hey, man, you got any bread for an artist?" "I don't seem to have any change." "I don't care." "I'll take what you got." "There, you see?" "I've only got notes." "Come on." "You don't wanna look cheap in front of your girlfriend." "Not a word of thanks." "Did you notice?" "I don't like tramps." "You shouldn't have given him anything." "Would you like to have a drink?" "No, thanks." "Right." " Good-bye, then." " Good-bye." "Hope to see you soon." " What is it?" "Just came over from CNMA." " Was it sent by Monsieur Lott?" " Uh-huh, Monsieur Lott." "Right." "That must be the Villa LeDuc, then." "Yes, that's right." "Yeah, that's the Villa LeDuc." ""Unmounted, number 2601." ""Make detailed copy of spire in the lower left-hand corner... beside the registration number."" "You have to do it by next Thursday." "I'm calling to ask you if you have any news... about Mademoiselle Simone Choule." " What department is she in?" " Surgery." " Choule?" "With a C?" " That's right." " Simone Choule." "Are you a relative?" "No, I'm a friend." "The patient died at 4:20 p.m.yesterday." "Thank you." "Good-bye." " Morning, monsieur." " Morning." "Live opposite?" "Yes." "I just moved in." "You rented the apartment of that girl that jumped out of the window?" "Yes." "Did you know her?" "Sure, I did." "Came in every morning." "Always sat in the same place." "Right there where you are now." "A cup of chocolate and a roll and butter." "Never drank coffee." "Used to say, "If I have a coffee, I can't sleep for two days."" " Question of what you're used to." " Shall I make you a chocolate?" "A question of temperament too, I think." "Still, a young girl like that killing herself." "I can't imagine why." "No reason at all, probably." "A moment of depression, and wham, it's all over." "Robert." "Do you sell cigarettes?" " Yes." "What would you like?" " Gauloises Bleu, please." "Oh." "I'm right out of Gauloises." " Oh, what else do you have?" " Gitanes, Marlboro." "Mademoiselle Choule always smoked Marlboro." "Would you like a pack?" "No." "No, thank you." "Simone Choule, the Lord has taken thee to his bosom... just as a shepherd brings in his sheep at the close of day." "What could be more natural, of greater consolation?" "Is it not the fondest hope and desire of all of us... that we shall one day rejoin the flock of holy ones?" "Hope of eternal life?" "The true life?" "Shorn of all worldly cares?" "Face to face in eternal blessedness with Almighty God... who through his son our Lord Jesus Christ... died for us on the cross." "Who deigns to look down upon us poor mortal creatures... full of love, infinitely merciful... the sick, the suffering, the dying." "Yes, the dying." "The icy tomb." "Thou shalt return to the dust from whence thou came... and only thy bones remain." "The worms shall consume thy eyes... thy lips, thy mouth." "They shall enter into thy ears." "They shall enter into thy nostrils." "Thy body shall putrefy unto its innermost recesses... and shall give off a noisome stench." "Yea, Christ is ascended into heaven and hath joined... the host of angels on high, but not for creeps like you... full of the basest vice... yearning only for carnal satisfaction." "How dare you pester me, and mock at me to my very face." "What audacity!" "What are you doing here in my temple?" "The graveyard is where you belong." "Thou shalt stink." "Thou shalt stink like some putrefied corpse lying along the wayside." "Verily I say unto thee... thou shalt never enter into my kingdom." "Four, three, two, one, zero!" "There he is." "Hey, Trelkovsky." "The lucky lodger, huh?" "Oh, Lucille Pampin, from Nice." " On the Riviera." " She's 5'4" and 140 pounds." "Best blow job in Paris!" " Pleased to meet you." " How do you do." "Don't anybody get up." "What is this?" "No more chairs than that?" "What a dump!" "There is a table right here." "Your fiance can come and sit on my knees, okay?" "Come on." "It's against my principles." "Hey, come on." "Give me a hand." " Hi, how are you?" " Wait a second." " Grab that end, will you?" " Ah, that's more like it." "Careful, huh?" " Put it right in the middle there." " That's it." " What about chairs though?" " Listen, maybe there's a bed here." " Yeah, why not?" " Move that table over." " Okay." " Take the table outta there first." " Want me to do anything?" " Oh, thank you." "You're very kind." "Here, let me finish that." "We'll just get this salad finished." " Have you met Viviane?" " Hello." "Hi." " Set her down." " There, that's okay." " Easy does it." " Oh." "What the hell is this?" "Is that one of yours?" "No, no, cut it out." "He's got a heart of gold." "That's right, he's got the heart of a chick." "Sure, you would." "You'd be happy to do it for a little bread." "No, I wouldn't." "I'm not interested." "You could offer me a fortune and I still wouldn't dream of it." "Who you trying to kid?" "You think there's anyone dumb enough to offer you a fortune?" " She's talking about the principle." " The principle?" " That's right." " You know what I think of them?" " You wanna know what I think?" " Well, come on." "What do you think?" "It's a lot of crap." "That's what your principles are." "I tell you, I'd do it for nothing." " You would?" " You bet." "Absolutely nothin'." "It takes all kinds." "Nobody wants me to, but I'd pay them to let me." "I'd write a check, but I wouldn't pay." "I saw one once-- blech!" "Makes you wanna throw up." "Would anybody mind if the subject were changed?" "What do you want to talk about-- women's lib, social security?" "Oh, keep women's lib out of it, for Christ's sake." "Oh, yeah?" "Have you looked at 'em?" "Have you looked at those militants?" "It's enough to turn you queer." "Oh, look what that pig's doing now." "He's actually pissing in the sink." "Oh, look what that pig's doing now." "He's actually pissing in the sink." " How revolting!" " Come on, get off my back, will ya?" "It's not my fault if there's no john in this crummy apartment." "You're making a great deal of noise, monsieur." "It's after 1:00, and you're making a great deal of noise." "I'm just having a few friends over for a quiet chat." "Quiet?" "I live upstairs, and I can hear every word you're saying." "You've been dragging furniture around, stamping about the place." "It's intolerable." "Do you intend to carry on like this much longer?" "Who is that asshole?" "Hmm?" "Look." "I'm terribly sorry I woke you." "I will be more careful from now on." "You don't seem to give a damn about anyone else." "It's all very well to have a good time." "But some people have to work, you know?" "Tomorrow's Sunday." "It's reasonable for me to have a few people... around on Saturday evening." "No, monsieur." "It's not reasonable... to make such a racket, even on a Saturday evening!" "We will be more careful." "Good night, monsieur." "Sure." "Soon you won't even be able to jerk off... without him knocking on the door." "You shouldn't let him push you around that way." " I know." "You should counterattack." " Oh, you know what?" " We gotta take revenge." " Why don't we set the john on fire?" " Throw scorpions down his chimney." " Or crabs." "Crabs won't work." "Scorpions." "No." "We'll drill a hole in the wall and force gas in." " Yeah!" " Or make a hole in the floor." "Don't be so silly." "That's because he only thinks below the belt." "What's this?" "I'll be damned, he's throwing us out of the house." " Look, it's late." " Aw, come on." "Okay, gang." "Let's go find someplace else." " Give me my coat." " Pass me my coat, huh?" "Be careful." "Be careful with those coats." " Come on." "On your feet." " My shoes." "Let's go, everybody." "Wait." "We going or what?" " Sure, buddy." " Bye, everybody." " Come on, everyone." " Night!" "Let's go." "Everybody out!" "One hell of a party." " Good night, my friends!" " Hey!" "Shh!" "Don't make so much noise!" "People are sleeping!" "Morning, Monsieur Zy." "Lovely day, isn't it?" "I'm terribly embarrassed about last night... and I can promise you it will never happen again." "I should hope not." "You woke up both me and my wife." "Couldn't get back to sleep." "What was the meaning of all that?" "I thought I'd have a few friends over to celebrate my good fortune... having found this lovely apartment." "A sort of a house warming, without disturbing anyone." "And then, you know how it is with the best will in the world... and not dreaming of disturbing anyone... you talk, you're having a good time." "And before you even know it, you're making so much noise that" "Look, I'm sorry." "I can promise you it'll never happen again." "Well, I'm very glad to hear that, Monsieur Trelkovsky." "Because I was seriously thinking of taking steps." "Apartments are hard enough to come by these days." "So it's worth keeping the one you have, don't you think?" ""Outraged neighbor shoots tipsy tenor... for singing La Tosca at 3:00 a.m." "Louis Marais, age 39, a bachelor and traveling salesman... came home at 3:00 in the morning after one drink too many... and proceeded to sing opera with his windows wide open." "When a neighbor, Monsieur Pierrot, expressed a wish... that he put off his warbling until somewhat later..." "Monsieur Marais illustrated his contempt for such a suggestion... with an air from Tosca delivered on the hall landing." "Pierrot reappeared with a gun and emptied it into the poor tenor... who died before the ambulance reached the hospital." "The murderer is under arrest."" "You there!" "Quiet down!" "How much longer are you gonna keep up this racket?" " Who is it?" " It's me." "What can I do for you?" "Monsieur, was it you who registered a complaint?" "A complaint?" "Against whom?" "Against me, for causing a disturbance at night." "I never made any complaint." "Someone has registered a complaint." "It came this morning." "She's the one who makes all the noise all night long." " Who?" " That old woman." "She's evil." "She's done everything she could to make things difficult for us." "Just because the girl is disabled." " You didn't register a complaint?" " Of course not." "Then it must have been her." "I asked downstairs." "They said it might have been you." "Monsieur, we go to bed early." "Not like her." "She can't sleep at night, so she walks up and down her apartment... moves the furniture around." "She keeps me and my daughter awake." "Do you know what she did, monsieur?" "Jammed a broom up against my door." "I had to heave it open with all my strength... and I twisted a muscle in my shoulder... and now she wants to have us thrown out." " She can't have you thrown out." " Can't she?" " Of course not." " I never make any noise, honestly." "Even if you did, they can't throw you out like that." " Are you sure?" " Absolutely." "God bless you." "God bless you, monsieur." "Thank you." " What about your neighbors?" " Getting used to them." "I have no problem, you know." "They have to get used to me too." "If they keep bugging you, Simon and I know a few ways... of dealing with them, eh, Simon?" "Sure, we know some great tricks." "Like, we could come around in the middle of the night... and yell up at you from the courtyard-- you see what I mean?" "Hey, Trelkovsky!" "Come out for a drink!" "Come on now, get movin'!" "Or we can knock on the floor below, after midnight, of course." "That's right." "Knock on the door, shouting:" ""On your feet, shitface." "We're off to the park for a blow job!"" "You know" "There is something odd going on in my building." "I quite often see people in the toilets..." " across the courtyard." " What are you, a peeping Tom?" "Do you mean people together in the shithouse?" "Like an orgy?" "No, no." "They just stand there for hours, you know?" "Absolutely dead still." "They're obviously playing with themselves." "Not at all." "He just told you." "They stand dead still." "Can you play with yourself without moving?" " What would you like to drink?" " What are you having?" " Beer." " Beer's fine." " What's the matter?" " Nothing.Just" "Don't worry, I know what I'm doing." " Turn it down a little." " Leave it alone." "They're used to it by now." "But it's too loud, even for us." "Try and get used to it." "Try to enjoy it while you can." "You can't do it at home." "Neighbor." "I hope so." "I hate to bother you, monsieur." "I see you have company." "But I wonder, could you turn down the sound a little?" "My wife's sick." "So she's sick, is she?" "Well, what am I supposed to do about it?" "Stop living because of her?" "If she's sick, why doesn't she go to a hospital?" "I'll play my records when I want and as loud as I want." "You know, I'm a bit hard of hearing myself... but that's no reason to be deprived of my music." "And don't try anything funny." "I know the superintendent of police." "See?" "That's how you deal with 'em." " What if his wife really is" " So what?" "I don't go... moaning to him every time I don't feel well." "He won't come back either." "I can promise you that." "Just a moment, please." "Who is it?" "Isn't this Simone Choule's apartment?" "Yes, it used to be." "I'm the new tenant." "Has she moved then?" "Come in, please." "Don't stand there like that." "Nothing's happened to her, I hope." "Please sit down, Monsieur" " Badar." " Pleased to meet you, monsieur." "My name is Trelkovsky." "I'm afraid there has been an unfortunate, uh" "Did you know her well?" "Did I know her?" "She committed suicide." "Threw herself out of the window." " If you'd like to see" " But" "But why?" "Why would she do a thing like that?" "No one seems to know." " Do you know Stella?" " No." "She doesn't know either." "No one knows why she did it." "I went to the Egyptian department at the Louvre this morning." "I found a nice postcard, and I sent it to her." "What irony." "Years of affection without ever daring to say anything." "I acted as though we were just friends each time I saw her-- which wasn't very often, I can tell you that." "It just isn't fair." "The day I summon up enough courage to tell her..." "I find out" "I find out she's" "Why?" "Why didn't I ever tell her?" "She's gone without ever knowing it." "We'll be closing now, Monsieur Trelkovsky." " Yeah." " Life isn't worth living anymore." " You mustn't" " That'll be six francs sixty." "You mustn't think like that." "You're young." "You'll forget." "Wait." "Wait a minute!" "Thank you." "I can promise you she didn't suffer." "And she didn't say anything?" " You sure?" " Absolutely certain." "All right, all right." "It's my round, for Christ's sakes." "Drinks for everyone!" "Everyone except him." "Don't mind him." "He's drunk." "Drunk." " What you've done for me" " It's natural." " It's not natural at all." " It is natural." "There aren't many guys around like you." "It's as simple as this." "You saved my life." " Morning." " Good morning." "A cup of chocolate, Monsieur Trelkovsky?" "Why not?" "Could I have some Gauloises Bleu, please?" "Yes." "Mmm." "I wanted some Gauloises." " Gauloises Bleu." " I thought you said Marlboro." "I've run out of Gauloises." "I'll send Robert out for some." "Don't bother." "I'll take the Marlboro." "Yes, I know!" "I know I'm making a noise!" "You should have knocked before when the thieves were here!" "Perhaps they did knock before." "This can't go on any longer, Monsieur Trelkovsky." "You kept everyone awake again." "All the neighbors are complaining." "I beg your pardon, Monsieur Zy." "Are you talking about last night?" "Of course I'm talking about last night." "You made a fiendish racket." "You won't be here much longer if you continue on like that." "I'm afraid I shall be forced to take steps." "I've been robbed, Monsieur Zy." "I'm on my way to the police station." "What do you mean?" "My house is a respectable place." " If you're making up nonsense" " It's true!" "My television's gone, my camera, one of my suitcases." "Oh, I see." "Well, I'm very sorry for you... but why are you going to the police?" "To tell them what happened." "Now, look, Monsieur Trelkovsky, this is an honest house." " My tenants are honest people." " There's no question of it" "Let me finish." "You know how careful I am in choosing my tenants." "I let you have the apartment because I thought you were an honest man." "Otherwise I wouldn't have taken a million francs." "If you go to the police, they'll be here asking all sorts of questions-- useless questions, of course-- but all that can have a disastrous effect on our reputation here." "I'm saying this for your sake too." "For my sake?" "But what have I done?" "Once you involve the police, you're looked on with suspicion." "Especially if you're not French." "But I'm a French citizen." "I know you've done nothing wrong, but other people won't know that." "They'll suspect you of God knows what." "Oh, believe me, I know what I'm talking about." "I know the superintendent of police here." "I'll have a word with him about all this." "He'll know what to do." "Oh, by the way... the former tenant always wore slippers after 10:00." "It was much more comfortable for her... and for the neighbors." " A pack of Marlboros." " Gimme a pack of Gauloises." "A pack of Marlboros, please." " Pack of Gauloises." " Eight franc sixty." "Okay, see ya next week." "Hello!" "How are you?" "Very well, thanks." "I was just going to buy some cigarettes." "Come and join us." "These are some friends of mine." " May I?" " Of course." " Hi." " Hi." "We were just talking about Simone." " Simone?" " Simone Choule." "This is the guy I told you about-- the one I met at the hospital." " We were the last to see her alive." " Stella told us..." "Simone didn't seem to know her." " I don't think she did." " And you?" " Me?" " She didn't recognize you either?" "It's hard to say." "I couldn't be sure one way or the other." "Perhaps she was trying to say something when she screamed." "Anyway, that's the impression I get when I think back on it." "She was looking at you when she let out that cry." " You think so?" " You know..." "I still have some things of hers at home." "It's depressing." " What've you got of hers?" " Some books, a couple of records." "There's one of Simone's books." " I haven't read it." " Nor have I." "I'm not interested in Egyptology." "She left it behind one evening." "You can have it if you like." "Oh, you're very kind." "I would love to read it." "It's a magnificent place you've got here." "Better than where I live, I can tell you." "Sorry, if you don't mind me asking, is the rent very high?" "I don't pay for it." "It belongs to my brother." "He's gone off to Peru for a few months, a year, traveling." "Look, this track." "Do you have any trouble with your neighbors?" "What sort of trouble?" "Well, you know... these days, relationships with neighbors can get... quite complicated." "You know, little things that get blown up out of all proportion." "You know what I mean?" "No." "No, I don't." "I mind my own business." "So do I. It's the best way." "If you like, I'll take you home." "Shall we go back to your place?" "My place?" "Okay?" "Sure." "Fine." "Only my place is a bit" "Well, it's a bit difficult." " In fact, it's impossible." " Why?" " Have you got a girlfriend?" " No." "Not exactly." "It's just that I've been repainting, and the place is in chaos." "We could still spend a couple of hours there, hmm?" "On top of that, my uncle is just up from the country... staying a few days." "How about your place?" "Take off your coat." "I'll be right back." "I'd love something to drink." "Cheers." "Cheers." "Why don't you take your tie off?" "You look like you're choking to death." "I found a tooth in my apartment." " It was in a hole." " A tooth?" "In a hole?" "Yeah." "A hole in the wall." "Wrapped in cotton wool." "So?" "No need to pull such a long face over a tooth." "Pretty weird, though, isn't it?" "Not really." "When I was young, we did it all the time." "Whenever one of my teeth fell out..." "I used to hide it." "My mother said it would turn into a coin." "A coin." "Oh, God." " Stella, I was wondering" " Yeah?" "Tooth" "Tooth is a part of ourselves, isn't it?" "Like a bit of our personality." "I don't know what you mean." "I remember, in the newspaper... a man lost his arm in an accident and wanted to have it buried." "He wanted to do what?" "Have it buried in a cemetery." " He must have been nuts." " The authorities refused." "The arm was cremated, and that was that." "Where did this happen-- in France?" "I wonder if they refused to give him the ashes." "And if so, by what right?" "Haven't you got anything more cheerful to talk about?" "All right." "That'll do." "Don't worry." "Tell me" "At what precise moment... does an individual stop being who he thinks he is?" "You know, I don't like complications." "You cut off my arm, right?" "I say me and my arm." "You cut off my other arm." "I say me and my two arms." "Take out my stomach, my kidneys-- assuming that were possible." "And I say me and my intestines." "Follow me?" "And now, if you cut off my head... would I say... me and my head, or me and my body?" "What right has my head to call itself "me"?" "What right?" "Oh, God." "Monsieur Trelkovsky?" "Stay!" "Stay, Mirza, stay." "You were out all night, huh?" "Yes, I had to stay with my uncle." "He isn't well." "I'll tell Madame Dioz you're back." "Madame Dioz?" "Who's Madame Dioz?" "This isn't for me." "Look!" ""Best wishes from the Louvre." "Georges Badar."" "I should like to have a word with you, monsieur." "Please, come in, madame." "I am Madame Dioz." "Pleased to meet you." "This is why I've come to see you." "Please read it." "It is a petition against the unspeakable Madame Gaderian." "She's gone too far this time." "We've got to do something about it." "Look." "Even Monsieur Zy has signed." "There." "Who is this Madame Gaderian?" "I don't know her." "You mean, you don't know her?" "Who do you think makes all that noise?" "It is her, my dear young man." "It is her." "Do you know she does her washing up in the middle of the night?" "And she whistles at the same time." "Now, does a civilized person behave like that?" "No, I suppose not." "Well, go on then, sign." "It's simply a question of solidarity." "She's making life impossible for-- for the other tenants." "Is she the one who lives with a disabled daughter?" "Disabled?" "No." "She has a boy-- a horrible, noisy brat... who's always playing skittles or God knows what in the corridor." "Are you sure?" "Are you certain she doesn't have a young daughter?" "I don't know what goes on in their lair." "Ask the concierge." "I'm sorry." "I'm not signing any petition." "This woman has never bothered me." "I've never seen her or even heard of her." "What apartment does she live in anyway?" "I shall make a note of your attitude." "I can see what we're dealing with here." "Everyone for himself, and never mind anyone else, hmm?" "Not at all." "I" "I know your type exactly, like that man opposite... right up until the day he was struck down with paralysis." "Then his neighbors let him stew in his own juice." "By all means, do whatever you think best." "But I warn you:" "Don't come whining to me later." "Bastards!" "What do they want me to do-- drop dead?" "With my wife, it's always the same old" "It's for me." "It's no use playing innocent with me." "I've heard a good deal about you, Monsieur Trelkovsky." "You specialize in breaches of the peace at night." "I'm quite amazed, Inspector." "No one has said anything to me." "I'm certainly not in the habit of making noise." "I'm certainly not in the habit of making noise." "I have very few friends, and I never entertain." "I'm not interested in your stories." "I have other things to do." "But I keep getting complaints." "It's my duty to maintain law and order." "So I say it once and for all:" "Stop whatever it is you're doing at night." " Trelkovsky-- is that Russian?" " Polish." "So you're not French." " I am a French citizen." " Let me see your identity card." "It's in a very poor state." "But you haven't registered your change of address." "15 Rue Sedan." "Where is this?" "I'm terribly sorry." "I'll do it at once." "You'd be well advised to." "Right." "This time I shall close my eyes to the whole business." "Just make sure I don't hear any more about you." "I won't have some little troublemaker disturbing the peace." "Thank you very much, Inspector." "Good-bye." "Good afternoon, madame." "I would like to know who registered a complaint against me." "Do you know who it was?" "If you didn't make so much noise, there wouldn't be any complaints." "Was there a petition?" "Was it that woman that came to see me the other day" " Madame Dioz?" "You only have yourself to blame." "Did you sign it?" "That's it." "She's won." "They've all signed it." "All except you, monsieur." "I've come to thank you." "You're a good person." "I don't like to get mixed up in this kind of thing." "Nonsense." "No, you are a good person." "I can see it in your eyes." "I got even with them... and the concierge too:" "she's as bad as all of them." "I paid them back all right." "They gave me the idea." "Do you know what I did?" "I did it on the staircase... in front of everyone's door." "It's their own fault." "They gave me the idea." "I didn't do it by your door." "I don't want to cause you any trouble." " How long ago?" "Just now." "I would love to see their faces when they find out." "It serves them right, all of them." "But they-- they'll say I did it!" "Good night, monsieur." "Sleep well." "Hey, look." "They want to drive me to suicide." "All right." "I'll show them." "Just shoes." "Simply" " Where in the world did you find them?" "Eighty francs." "You're kidding." "Supermarket, yes." "She's not as young as she thinks she is." "Beautiful, beautiful." "Adorable." "A goddess, divine." "I think I'm pregnant." "Monsters!" "They'll never turn me into Simone Choule." "Never!" "Monsieur Trelkovsky." "Do you remember the conditions on which I let you have this apartment?" "I most certainly do, Monsieur Zy." "May I know what you're referring to?" "I'm referring to what I said about women." "Oh, yes, of course." "Then why do you bring them around here?" "What?" "I never brought any women around here." "I know what I'm talking about." "You had a woman up in your room." "You can't deny it." "I'll turn a blind eye to it this time... but this is the last time." "I hope that's clear." "Good morning, Monsieur Trelkovsky." "Bring me a coffee." " You don't want a chocolate?" " I just told you, I want a coffee." "But you always have a chocolate." "You always serve me without asking what I want." "Now, today I am telling you." "I'd like a coffee." "I'm sorry, but the problem is, you see... the machine's broken down." " Sure you won't have a chocolate?" " No!" " Why the hell should I?" " It's nothing to get sore about." "I'll have a glass of red wine." "I suppose you're out of Gauloises." "That's right." "We've only got Marlboros." "You can keep them." "I know just what you are up to." "Goddamn murderers!" "No good looking at me like that." "I know exactly what your little scheme is." " What's wrong?" " My boat." " Which one?" " The red one." " What's your name?" " Patrick." "And you've lost your boat-- the red one?" "Okay, I'll get it back for you." "Filthy little brat!" "Mother." "Mother!" "It's him!" "He's there!" "I'll fight." "I'll fight to the bitter end." "Who is it?" "It's me, Trelkovsky." " Were you sleeping?" " What's the matter?" "Sorry to bother you at this hour of the morning." "Do you mind if I stayed here for a while?" "You're strange." "You must tell me." "I wouldn't mind, really." "No." "No, of course you can stay." " Look, you're hurt." " It's nothing, really." " But it's filthy." " That's nothing." "Oh, wait, wait." "I think I've got some-- some things here." "How did you do that?" "It's them." "Who?" "They're trying to kill me." "Drive me to suicide." "What are you talking about?" "Who's trying to kill you?" "Stella, I've been lying to you." "I'm living in her apartment." "Whose apartment?" "Simone's." "I rented Simone Choule's apartment." " How did you rent it?" " She died because of the neighbors." "It was a plot." "A plot against Simone?" "You're completely insane." "I'm not insane." "Listen." "They forced her to commit suicide." "I can prove it." "And they are trying to do the same thing to me." "Everything's ready." "They worked it all out, every detail." "Do you know what they've been doing to me?" "It's" "It's so appalling... so incredible that I can hardly tell you... yet it's true, I swear it." "Oh, tell me." "Tell me." "I'm listening." "They've been trying to turn me into Simone Choule." "There now." "I'm your friend." "I'm going to help you." "Come now." "You're exhausted." "Lie down." "I'm going to leave Paris in a couple of days." " They'll never find me." " That's the best thing to do." "You're the only one I can trust." "Aren't you?" "It's me, Stella." "Don't be frightened." "You do recognize me, don't you?" "Sorry." "I was having a nightmare." "I must get to work now." "I'm late." "I'll be back around 8:00." "I've left your breakfast ready." " I love you." " And I love you." "I even went out and bought you some croissants." "Please stay with me." "Don't leave me alone." "Oh, now, listen." "I'm late." "If you want to go out, just leave the keys under the mat." "I'll get another pair made tomorrow." "We'll each have our own set then." " Please don't go." " Don't be naughty now." "You're to be good and stay here." "You've got everything you need." "If you like, you can go out and get some fresh air." "I'll bring some food back this evening." "We'll eat in, or go out to a restaurant, if you like." "We'll see how you feel." "See you tonight then." "Is anyone there?" "Filthy bitch!" "They're all in it together." " Stop here." "Stop, stop." " Hey, what's wrong?" "Nothing." "I'm getting out." " Is that all right?" " Yeah." "Thank you, monsieur." "Thank you very much." "Have you got any idea where I can buy a gun?" " I'll pay good money." " Get the hell out of here, punk!" " This bugger wants to buy a gun!" " What?" "I'll tell the cops, you little shit!" "I told you not to drive so fast." "Now look what's happened." "Monsieur, are you hurt?" "People who can't drive should take taxis, you old jerks." "How dare you say that!" "My wife hasn't had an accident in 25 years." "He's right." "The guy walked right under the wheels." " I saw the whole thing." " Let me through, please." "Excuse me." "Let me through." "Let me through." "Excuse me." "Excuse me." "I'm a doctor." "Murderers." "Believe me, my wife and I are very upset about what has happened." "Please stand back." "On the curb." " Back." " Officer." "This is how it happened." "Your ID, please." "Yours too, monsieur." "You're very lucky." "Only a few scratches." "Nothing broken." "But you should have an X ray." "It's not serious." "A mild case of delirium tremens, in my opinion." "The driver and her husband made a statement." "They'll drive him home." "Is that all right, Doctor?" "Or should I call for an ambulance?" "Well, if this gentleman can manage it, it'd be fine." "We'd be glad to give this poor man a lift home." "Of course." "We'll take you home, huh?" "That is preposterous!" "No!" "Please!" " They were trying to kill me." " Yeah?" "They were playing football with a human head." "I'll give him a shot of something to calm him down." "No." "No injection." "I don't want any injection." "I don't want an injection." "They tried to kill me." "Mirza, quiet down!" "Good evening, madam." "This gentleman has had a slight accident." "Nothing serious, though." "Nothing to worry about, but" " What did he do now?" " Let's get him up to the apartment." "How did it happen?" "He sort of jumped out in front of the car, and" "Luckily my wife has very good reflexes." "What's going on here?" "It's him again." "Oh, that bastard!" "Stay." "Stay, Mirza." " What was that?" " Down in the courtyard." "We'd better call an ambulance." "Go get one, quick." "You shouldn't move!" "Monsieur, I swear I am not Simone Choule." "Quick, get him a blanket." "Two suicides in succession." " It's quite unbelievable." " Look at his clothes." "He's insane." "And we just finished repairing the roof." "I knew there was something wrong with him the first time I saw him." "Oh, God, Monsieur Trelkovsky!" "Be reasonable." "Wait for the ambulance." "You gang of killers!" "I'll show you some blood." "You wanted a clean death, didn't you?" " Be reasonable." " It's going to be dirty." "Unforgettable." "It was better last time, wasn't it?" "Well, I'm not Simone Choule." "I'm Trelkovsky!" "All right, all right." "What's going on?" " A tenant jumped out of a window." " Again?" " You must get them wholesale." " Where is he now?" "He's gone back up to his apartment." "I think he must have had some kind of a brainstorm." "He's gonna jump again!" " Tuck into the gallery." " Take it easy!" "Don't move!" " We'll come up and get you, okay?" " Be reasonable now." " Please!" "It's enough." " Why is this happening?" " Oh, God, no." " Don't do anything silly!" "Are you a friend of hers?" "Oh, I'm sorry." "What on earth could have happened?" "Why would she do a thing like that?" "To tell you the truth, I'm not a friend of hers at all." "I hardly know her, actually, but" "Simone." "You do recognize me, don't you?" "It's me, Stella." "Your friend, Stella." "Don't you recognize me?" "Quiet, Mirza." "Mirza, quiet now." "Afternoon, madame." " Yes, what is it?" " I'm sorry to bother you." "I was told about an apartment." "This is the right building though, isn't it?" "Who told you?" "A friend of mine." "Uh, well, a relation, actually." " The door." " Sorry." "I gather it's a small two-room apartment." "Think that's all I got to do?" "Some people think a concierge is a slave." "Not me, not me, I assure you." "Would it be more convenient if I came back later?" "Anyway, you have to speak with Monsieur Zy." " I can only show the apartment." " I don't want to be a nuisance... but if it were at all possible... and if I might offer you some... small compensation for your trouble which is only reasonable." "What a lovely little doggie you are." "You're Mirza, aren't you?" "It's a nice name, Mirza." "I'm sorry." "The previous tenant threw herself out of the window." "You can still see where she fell." "Look." "He's gonna have to fix that." "She's not dead yet... though she might as well be." "She's in the Bretonneau hospital." "What if she gets better?" "Don't worry." "She won't get better." "You know, you're onto a good thing here." "Poor woman." "What are the terms?" "Do you know?" "Well, there's a fee for the water." "All the plumbing is new." "You used to have to go out to the landing to get water." " And the toilet?" " It's right over there." "You just go around the corridor, and there it is." "That's a view worth looking at." "How much is the premium?" "The rent is 600 francs a month." "Uh, the premium, I'm not sure about." "I think he wants 5,000 francs." "Five thousand?" "That's a lot of money." "It's not my business." "For that you'll have to talk to Monsieur Zy." "He lives right down here." "I have to get back now." "All right, all right." "We're not deaf." " We don't give to charity." " It's about the apartment." "What apartment?" "On the floor above." "Could I speak to Monsieur Zy?" "Afternoon." "Have you seen the apartment?" "Yes." "That's why I wanted to talk to you, to discuss the terms." "Five thousand premium, six hundred a month." "That's a lot of money." "I couldn't pay more than 4,000." "The concierge told you about the water?" "Yes, she did." "It's damned hard to find an apartment these days, you know." "There's a student up on the sixth floor... gave me half that much for a single room." "Don't get me wrong." "I'm not trying to criticize your apartment... but the toilet is a problem." "Suppose I got sick-- which I don't often do, I can assure you-- and I had to relieve myself in the middle of the night." "It wouldn't be very convenient, would it?" "On the other hand, I could pay you the 4,000 right away, in cash." "It's not only a question of the money." " Let's be clear, Monsieur" " Trelkovsky." "Trelkovsky." "I won't exactly starve without your 5,000." "No." "I'm renting the apartment because it's vacant... and because I know they don't grow on trees." "Of course, Monsieur Zy." "It's perfectly reasonable." "I understand your point." "Could I offer you a cigarette?" "You want 5,000, fine." "But if you got paid by check, you'd have to declare it." "Wouldn't you rather get 4,000 in cash?" "I'd rather get 5,000 in cash than 4,000 in cash." "It's perfectly natural." "Anyway, the former tenant is not dead yet." "If she comes back, you won't even get your 4,000." "You get nothing." "Are you married?" "Excuse the question... but it's because of the children." "This is a very quiet building." " My wife and I are getting on" " I wouldn't say that, Monsieur Zy." "I know what I'm saying." "My wife and I are getting on." "We don't like a lot of noise." "You needn't worry, Monsieur Zy." "I am very quiet myself, and I am a bachelor." "Bachelors can be a problem too." "If you're looking for a place to entertain your girlfriends..." "I'd rather take 2,000 and give it to somebody who really needs it." "I quite agree, but I am not that type." "Well now, I can't give you a definite answer... while Mademoiselle Choule is still alive." "But I like you." "You seem to be a serious young man to me." "I want to visit Mademoiselle Choule." " Simone Choule?" " That's right." " Are you a relative?" " I'm a friend." "Can I help you?" " Are you the head nurse, ma'am?" " Yes." "I'm very glad I found you... because I was told at the reception desk to see you first." " It's about Mademoiselle Choule." " Bed 18." " May I see her?" " She's not to be disturbed." "She was in a coma till yesterday." "Go ahead, but don't try to talk to her." "Are you a friend of hers?" "Excuse me." "I can't believe it." "I just can't believe it." "I was with her the night before." "No, two nights before." "She was in such good spirits." "Why would she do a thing like that?" "To tell you the truth, I'm not a close" " I" "I hardly know her at all, actually, but believe me..." "I'm terribly upset about..." " Yeah." " what's happened." "It's awful." "Simone?" "Simone." "You do recognize me, don't you?" "It's me, Stella." "Your friend, Stella." "Don't you recognize me?" "You'll have to leave now." "Your bag." "Is there any hope of saving her?" "What do you mean?" "If we can save her, we save her." "Careful." "You mustn't give in to your grief." "Huh?" "If you like, we could go and have something to drink." "I think it would help you." "There is a" "Here." "What would you like to drink?" "I don't know." "I'll have, uh, beer." "No, a coffee." "Coffee." "And the lady?" "I don't want a coffee." "You should have something strong." "It will pick you up." "I'll have a small glass of Beaujolais." "A small glass of Beaujolais and..." " a Martini." " No coffee?" "No, no, a Martini." "I completely forgot!" "I have a phone call to make." "I'll be right back." " Waiter!" " All right, I'm coming." "I'll never understand suicide." "I have no argument against it, but it's beyond my comprehension." "Did you ever discuss it with her?" "Never." "I just can't believe it." "It's terrible." "Terrible." "It's terrible, yeah." "Could it have been a disappointment in love, perhaps?" " Something like that?" " Who with?" "I don't know." "Some man." "You know she wasn't interested in men." "Oh, yes, I know, but" "Women as sensitive as she was-- as she is, I mean-- often tend to have... much more complicated relationships than they seem to." "Perhaps she will pull out of it anyway." "I doubt it." "Did you notice that she didn't even recognize me?" "A tragedy." "Hey, man, you got any bread for an artist?" "I don't seem to have any change." "I don't care." "I'll take what you got." "There, you see?" "I've only got notes." "Come on." "You don't wanna look cheap in front of your girlfriend." "Not a word of thanks." "Did you notice?" "I don't like tramps." "You shouldn't have given him anything." "Would you like to have a drink?" "No, thanks." "Right." " Good-bye, then." " Good-bye." "Hope to see you soon." " What is it?" "Just came over from CNMA." " Was it sent by Monsieur Lott?" " Uh-huh, Monsieur Lott." "Right." "That must be the Villa LeDuc, then." "Yes, that's right." "Yeah, that's the Villa LeDuc." ""Unmounted, number 2601." ""Make detailed copy of spire in the lower left-hand corner... beside the registration number."" "You have to do it by next Thursday." "I'm calling to ask you if you have any news... about Mademoiselle Simone Choule." " What department is she in?" " Surgery." " Choule?" "With a C?" " That's right." " Simone Choule." "Are you a relative?" "No, I'm a friend." "The patient died at 4:20 p.m.yesterday." "Thank you." "Good-bye." " Morning, monsieur." " Morning." "Live opposite?" "Yes." "I just moved in." "You rented the apartment of that girl that jumped out of the window?" "Yes." "Did you know her?" "Sure, I did." "Came in every morning." "Always sat in the same place." "Right there where you are now." "A cup of chocolate and a roll and butter." "Never drank coffee." "Used to say, "If I have a coffee, I can't sleep for two days."" " Question of what you're used to." " Shall I make you a chocolate?" "A question of temperament too, I think." "Still, a young girl like that killing herself." "I can't imagine why." "No reason at all, probably." "A moment of depression, and wham, it's all over." "Robert." "Do you sell cigarettes?" " Yes." "What would you like?" " Gauloises Bleu, please." "Oh." "I'm right out of Gauloises." " Oh, what else do you have?" " Gitanes, Marlboro." "Mademoiselle Choule always smoked Marlboro." "Would you like a pack?" "No." "No, thank you." "Simone Choule, the Lord has taken thee to his bosom... just as a shepherd brings in his sheep at the close of day." "What could be more natural, of greater consolation?" "Is it not the fondest hope and desire of all of us... that we shall one day rejoin the flock of holy ones?" "Hope of eternal life?" "The true life?" "Shorn of all worldly cares?" "Face to face in eternal blessedness with Almighty God... who through his son our Lord Jesus Christ... died for us on the cross." "Who deigns to look down upon us poor mortal creatures... full of love, infinitely merciful... the sick, the suffering, the dying." "Yes, the dying." "The icy tomb." "Thou shalt return to the dust from whence thou came... and only thy bones remain." "The worms shall consume thy eyes... thy lips, thy mouth." "They shall enter into thy ears." "They shall enter into thy nostrils." "Thy body shall putrefy unto its innermost recesses... and shall give off a noisome stench." "Yea, Christ is ascended into heaven and hath joined... the host of angels on high, but not for creeps like you... full of the basest vice... yearning only for carnal satisfaction." "How dare you pester me, and mock at me to my very face." "What audacity!" "What are you doing here in my temple?" "The graveyard is where you belong." "Thou shalt stink." "Thou shalt stink like some putrefied corpse lying along the wayside." "Verily I say unto thee... thou shalt never enter into my kingdom." "Four, three, two, one, zero!" "There he is." "Hey, Trelkovsky." "The lucky lodger, huh?" "Oh, Lucille Pampin, from Nice." " On the Riviera." " She's 5'4" and 140 pounds." "Best blow job in Paris!" " Pleased to meet you." " How do you do." "Don't anybody get up." "What is this?" "No more chairs than that?" "What a dump!" "There is a table right here." "Your fiance can come and sit on my knees, okay?" "Come on." "It's against my principles." "Hey, come on." "Give me a hand." " Hi, how are you?" " Wait a second." " Grab that end, will you?" " Ah, that's more like it." "Careful, huh?" " Put it right in the middle there." " That's it." " What about chairs though?" " Listen, maybe there's a bed here." " Yeah, why not?" " Move that table over." " Okay." " Take the table outta there first." " Want me to do anything?" " Oh, thank you." "You're very kind." "Here, let me finish that." "We'll just get this salad finished." " Have you met Viviane?" " Hello." "Hi." " Set her down." " There, that's okay." " Easy does it." " Oh." "What the hell is this?" "Is that one of yours?" "No, no, cut it out." "He's got a heart of gold." "That's right, he's got the heart of a chick." "Sure, you would." "You'd be happy to do it for a little bread." "No, I wouldn't." "I'm not interested." "You could offer me a fortune and I still wouldn't dream of it." "Who you trying to kid?" "You think there's anyone dumb enough to offer you a fortune?" " She's talking about the principle." " The principle?" " That's right." " You know what I think of them?" " You wanna know what I think?" " Well, come on." "What do you think?" "It's a lot of crap." "That's what your principles are." "I tell you, I'd do it for nothing." " You would?" " You bet." "Absolutely nothin'." "It takes all kinds." "Nobody wants me to, but I'd pay them to let me." "I'd write a check, but I wouldn't pay." "I saw one once-- blech!" "Makes you wanna throw up." "Would anybody mind if the subject were changed?" "What do you want to talk about-- women's lib, social security?" "Oh, keep women's lib out of it, for Christ's sake." "Oh, yeah?" "Have you looked at 'em?" "Have you looked at those militants?" "It's enough to turn you queer." "Oh, look what that pig's doing now." "He's actually pissing in the sink." "Oh, look what that pig's doing now." "He's actually pissing in the sink." " How revolting!" " Come on, get off my back, will ya?" "It's not my fault if there's no john in this crummy apartment." "You're making a great deal of noise, monsieur." "It's after 1:00, and you're making a great deal of noise." "I'm just having a few friends over for a quiet chat." "Quiet?" "I live upstairs, and I can hear every word you're saying." "You've been dragging furniture around, stamping about the place." "It's intolerable." "Do you intend to carry on like this much longer?" "Who is that asshole?" "Hmm?" "Look." "I'm terribly sorry I woke you." "I will be more careful from now on." "You don't seem to give a damn about anyone else." "It's all very well to have a good time." "But some people have to work, you know?" "Tomorrow's Sunday." "It's reasonable for me to have a few people... around on Saturday evening." "No, monsieur." "It's not reasonable... to make such a racket, even on a Saturday evening!" "We will be more careful." "Good night, monsieur." "Sure." "Soon you won't even be able to jerk off... without him knocking on the door." "You shouldn't let him push you around that way." " I know." "You should counterattack." " Oh, you know what?" " We gotta take revenge." " Why don't we set the john on fire?" " Throw scorpions down his chimney." " Or crabs." "Crabs won't work." "Scorpions." "No." "We'll drill a hole in the wall and force gas in." " Yeah!" " Or make a hole in the floor." "Don't be so silly." "That's because he only thinks below the belt." "What's this?" "I'll be damned, he's throwing us out of the house." " Look, it's late." " Aw, come on." "Okay, gang." "Let's go find someplace else." " Give me my coat." " Pass me my coat, huh?" "Be careful." "Be careful with those coats." " Come on." "On your feet." " My shoes." "Let's go, everybody." "Wait." "We going or what?" " Sure, buddy." " Bye, everybody." " Come on, everyone." " Night!" "Let's go." "Everybody out!" "One hell of a party." " Good night, my friends!" " Hey!" "Shh!" "Don't make so much noise!" "People are sleeping!" "Morning, Monsieur Zy." "Lovely day, isn't it?" "I'm terribly embarrassed about last night... and I can promise you it will never happen again." "I should hope not." "You woke up both me and my wife." "Couldn't get back to sleep." "What was the meaning of all that?" "I thought I'd have a few friends over to celebrate my good fortune... having found this lovely apartment." "A sort of a house warming, without disturbing anyone." "And then, you know how it is with the best will in the world... and not dreaming of disturbing anyone... you talk, you're having a good time." "And before you even know it, you're making so much noise that" "Look, I'm sorry." "I can promise you it'll never happen again." "Well, I'm very glad to hear that, Monsieur Trelkovsky." "Because I was seriously thinking of taking steps." "Apartments are hard enough to come by these days." "So it's worth keeping the one you have, don't you think?" ""Outraged neighbor shoots tipsy tenor... for singing La Tosca at 3:00 a.m." "Louis Marais, age 39, a bachelor and traveling salesman... came home at 3:00 in the morning after one drink too many... and proceeded to sing opera with his windows wide open." "When a neighbor, Monsieur Pierrot, expressed a wish... that he put off his warbling until somewhat later..." "Monsieur Marais illustrated his contempt for such a suggestion... with an air from Tosca delivered on the hall landing." "Pierrot reappeared with a gun and emptied it into the poor tenor... who died before the ambulance reached the hospital." "The murderer is under arrest."" "You there!" "Quiet down!" "How much longer are you gonna keep up this racket?" " Who is it?" " It's me." "What can I do for you?" "Monsieur, was it you who registered a complaint?" "A complaint?" "Against whom?" "Against me, for causing a disturbance at night." "I never made any complaint." "Someone has registered a complaint." "It came this morning." "She's the one who makes all the noise all night long." " Who?" " That old woman." "She's evil." "She's done everything she could to make things difficult for us." "Just because the girl is disabled." " You didn't register a complaint?" " Of course not." "Then it must have been her." "I asked downstairs." "They said it might have been you." "Monsieur, we go to bed early." "Not like her." "She can't sleep at night, so she walks up and down her apartment... moves the furniture around." "She keeps me and my daughter awake." "Do you know what she did, monsieur?" "Jammed a broom up against my door." "I had to heave it open with all my strength... and I twisted a muscle in my shoulder... and now she wants to have us thrown out." " She can't have you thrown out." " Can't she?" " Of course not." " I never make any noise, honestly." "Even if you did, they can't throw you out like that." " Are you sure?" " Absolutely." "God bless you." "God bless you, monsieur." "Thank you." " What about your neighbors?" " Getting used to them." "I have no problem, you know." "They have to get used to me too." "If they keep bugging you, Simon and I know a few ways... of dealing with them, eh, Simon?" "Sure, we know some great tricks." "Like, we could come around in the middle of the night... and yell up at you from the courtyard-- you see what I mean?" "Hey, Trelkovsky!" "Come out for a drink!" "Come on now, get movin'!" "Or we can knock on the floor below, after midnight, of course." "That's right." "Knock on the door, shouting:" ""On your feet, shitface." "We're off to the park for a blow job!"" "You know" "There is something odd going on in my building." "I quite often see people in the toilets..." " across the courtyard." " What are you, a peeping Tom?" "Do you mean people together in the shithouse?" "Like an orgy?" "No, no." "They just stand there for hours, you know?" "Absolutely dead still." "They're obviously playing with themselves." "Not at all." "He just told you." "They stand dead still." "Can you play with yourself without moving?" " What would you like to drink?" " What are you having?" " Beer." " Beer's fine." " What's the matter?" " Nothing.Just" "Don't worry, I know what I'm doing." " Turn it down a little." " Leave it alone." "They're used to it by now." "But it's too loud, even for us." "Try and get used to it." "Try to enjoy it while you can." "You can't do it at home." "Neighbor." "I hope so." "I hate to bother you, monsieur." "I see you have company." "But I wonder, could you turn down the sound a little?" "My wife's sick." "So she's sick, is she?" "Well, what am I supposed to do about it?" "Stop living because of her?" "If she's sick, why doesn't she go to a hospital?" "I'll play my records when I want and as loud as I want." "You know, I'm a bit hard of hearing myself... but that's no reason to be deprived of my music." "And don't try anything funny." "I know the superintendent of police." "See?" "That's how you deal with 'em." " What if his wife really is" " So what?" "I don't go... moaning to him every time I don't feel well." "He won't come back either." "I can promise you that." "Just a moment, please." "Who is it?" "Isn't this Simone Choule's apartment?" "Yes, it used to be." "I'm the new tenant." "Has she moved then?" "Come in, please." "Don't stand there like that." "Nothing's happened to her, I hope." "Please sit down, Monsieur" " Badar." " Pleased to meet you, monsieur." "My name is Trelkovsky." "I'm afraid there has been an unfortunate, uh" "Did you know her well?" "Did I know her?" "She committed suicide." "Threw herself out of the window." " If you'd like to see" " But" "But why?" "Why would she do a thing like that?" "No one seems to know." " Do you know Stella?" " No." "She doesn't know either." "No one knows why she did it." "I went to the Egyptian department at the Louvre this morning." "I found a nice postcard, and I sent it to her." "What irony." "Years of affection without ever daring to say anything." "I acted as though we were just friends each time I saw her-- which wasn't very often, I can tell you that." "It just isn't fair." "The day I summon up enough courage to tell her..." "I find out" "I find out she's" "Why?" "Why didn't I ever tell her?" "She's gone without ever knowing it." "We'll be closing now, Monsieur Trelkovsky." " Yeah." " Life isn't worth living anymore." " You mustn't" " That'll be six francs sixty." "You mustn't think like that." "You're young." "You'll forget." "Wait." "Wait a minute!" "Thank you." "I can promise you she didn't suffer." "And she didn't say anything?" " You sure?" " Absolutely certain." "All right, all right." "It's my round, for Christ's sakes." "Drinks for everyone!" "Everyone except him." "Don't mind him." "He's drunk." "Drunk." " What you've done for me" " It's natural." " It's not natural at all." " It is natural." "There aren't many guys around like you." "It's as simple as this." "You saved my life." " Morning." " Good morning." "A cup of chocolate, Monsieur Trelkovsky?" "Why not?" "Could I have some Gauloises Bleu, please?" "Yes." "Mmm." "I wanted some Gauloises." " Gauloises Bleu." " I thought you said Marlboro." "I've run out of Gauloises." "I'll send Robert out for some." "Don't bother." "I'll take the Marlboro." "Yes, I know!" "I know I'm making a noise!" "You should have knocked before when the thieves were here!" "Perhaps they did knock before." "This can't go on any longer, Monsieur Trelkovsky." "You kept everyone awake again." "All the neighbors are complaining." "I beg your pardon, Monsieur Zy." "Are you talking about last night?" "Of course I'm talking about last night." "You made a fiendish racket." "You won't be here much longer if you continue on like that." "I'm afraid I shall be forced to take steps." "I've been robbed, Monsieur Zy." "I'm on my way to the police station." "What do you mean?" "My house is a respectable place." " If you're making up nonsense" " It's true!" "My television's gone, my camera, one of my suitcases." "Oh, I see." "Well, I'm very sorry for you... but why are you going to the police?" "To tell them what happened." "Now, look, Monsieur Trelkovsky, this is an honest house." " My tenants are honest people." " There's no question of it" "Let me finish." "You know how careful I am in choosing my tenants." "I let you have the apartment because I thought you were an honest man." "Otherwise I wouldn't have taken a million francs." "If you go to the police, they'll be here asking all sorts of questions-- useless questions, of course-- but all that can have a disastrous effect on our reputation here." "I'm saying this for your sake too." "For my sake?" "But what have I done?" "Once you involve the police, you're looked on with suspicion." "Especially if you're not French." "But I'm a French citizen." "I know you've done nothing wrong, but other people won't know that." "They'll suspect you of God knows what." "Oh, believe me, I know what I'm talking about." "I know the superintendent of police here." "I'll have a word with him about all this." "He'll know what to do." "Oh, by the way... the former tenant always wore slippers after 10:00." "It was much more comfortable for her... and for the neighbors." " A pack of Marlboros." " Gimme a pack of Gauloises." "A pack of Marlboros, please." " Pack of Gauloises." " Eight franc sixty." "Okay, see ya next week." "Hello!" "How are you?" "Very well, thanks." "I was just going to buy some cigarettes." "Come and join us." "These are some friends of mine." " May I?" " Of course." " Hi." " Hi." "We were just talking about Simone." " Simone?" " Simone Choule." "This is the guy I told you about-- the one I met at the hospital." " We were the last to see her alive." " Stella told us..." "Simone didn't seem to know her." " I don't think she did." " And you?" " Me?" " She didn't recognize you either?" "It's hard to say." "I couldn't be sure one way or the other." "Perhaps she was trying to say something when she screamed." "Anyway, that's the impression I get when I think back on it." "She was looking at you when she let out that cry." " You think so?" " You know..." "I still have some things of hers at home." "It's depressing." " What've you got of hers?" " Some books, a couple of records." "There's one of Simone's books." " I haven't read it." " Nor have I." "I'm not interested in Egyptology." "She left it behind one evening." "You can have it if you like." "Oh, you're very kind." "I would love to read it." "It's a magnificent place you've got here." "Better than where I live, I can tell you." "Sorry, if you don't mind me asking, is the rent very high?" "I don't pay for it." "It belongs to my brother." "He's gone off to Peru for a few months, a year, traveling." "Look, this track." "Do you have any trouble with your neighbors?" "What sort of trouble?" "Well, you know... these days, relationships with neighbors can get... quite complicated." "You know, little things that get blown up out of all proportion." "You know what I mean?" "No." "No, I don't." "I mind my own business." "So do I. It's the best way." "If you like, I'll take you home." "Shall we go back to your place?" "My place?" "Okay?" "Sure." "Fine." "Only my place is a bit" "Well, it's a bit difficult." " In fact, it's impossible." " Why?" " Have you got a girlfriend?" " No." "Not exactly." "It's just that I've been repainting, and the place is in chaos." "We could still spend a couple of hours there, hmm?" "On top of that, my uncle is just up from the country... staying a few days." "How about your place?" "Take off your coat." "I'll be right back." "I'd love something to drink." "Cheers." "Cheers." "Why don't you take your tie off?" "You look like you're choking to death." "I found a tooth in my apartment." " It was in a hole." " A tooth?" "In a hole?" "Yeah." "A hole in the wall." "Wrapped in cotton wool." "So?" "No need to pull such a long face over a tooth." "Pretty weird, though, isn't it?" "Not really." "When I was young, we did it all the time." "Whenever one of my teeth fell out..." "I used to hide it." "My mother said it would turn into a coin." "A coin." "Oh, God." " Stella, I was wondering" " Yeah?" "Tooth" "Tooth is a part of ourselves, isn't it?" "Like a bit of our personality." "I don't know what you mean." "I remember, in the newspaper... a man lost his arm in an accident and wanted to have it buried." "He wanted to do what?" "Have it buried in a cemetery." " He must have been nuts." " The authorities refused." "The arm was cremated, and that was that." "Where did this happen-- in France?" "I wonder if they refused to give him the ashes." "And if so, by what right?" "Haven't you got anything more cheerful to talk about?" "All right." "That'll do." "Don't worry." "Tell me" "At what precise moment... does an individual stop being who he thinks he is?" "You know, I don't like complications." "You cut off my arm, right?" "I say me and my arm." "You cut off my other arm." "I say me and my two arms." "Take out my stomach, my kidneys-- assuming that were possible." "And I say me and my intestines." "Follow me?" "And now, if you cut off my head... would I say... me and my head, or me and my body?" "What right has my head to call itself "me"?" "What right?" "Oh, God." "Monsieur Trelkovsky?" "Stay!" "Stay, Mirza, stay." "You were out all night, huh?" "Yes, I had to stay with my uncle." "He isn't well." "I'll tell Madame Dioz you're back." "Madame Dioz?" "Who's Madame Dioz?" "This isn't for me." "Look!" ""Best wishes from the Louvre." "Georges Badar."" "I should like to have a word with you, monsieur." "Please, come in, madame." "I am Madame Dioz." "Pleased to meet you." "This is why I've come to see you." "Please read it." "It is a petition against the unspeakable Madame Gaderian." "She's gone too far this time." "We've got to do something about it." "Look." "Even Monsieur Zy has signed." "There." "Who is this Madame Gaderian?" "I don't know her." "You mean, you don't know her?" "Who do you think makes all that noise?" "It is her, my dear young man." "It is her." "Do you know she does her washing up in the middle of the night?" "And she whistles at the same time." "Now, does a civilized person behave like that?" "No, I suppose not." "Well, go on then, sign." "It's simply a question of solidarity." "She's making life impossible for-- for the other tenants." "Is she the one who lives with a disabled daughter?" "Disabled?" "No." "She has a boy-- a horrible, noisy brat... who's always playing skittles or God knows what in the corridor." "Are you sure?" "Are you certain she doesn't have a young daughter?" "I don't know what goes on in their lair." "Ask the concierge." "I'm sorry." "I'm not signing any petition." "This woman has never bothered me." "I've never seen her or even heard of her." "What apartment does she live in anyway?" "I shall make a note of your attitude." "I can see what we're dealing with here." "Everyone for himself, and never mind anyone else, hmm?" "Not at all." "I" "I know your type exactly, like that man opposite... right up until the day he was struck down with paralysis." "Then his neighbors let him stew in his own juice." "By all means, do whatever you think best." "But I warn you:" "Don't come whining to me later." "Bastards!" "What do they want me to do-- drop dead?" "With my wife, it's always the same old" "It's for me." "It's no use playing innocent with me." "I've heard a good deal about you, Monsieur Trelkovsky." "You specialize in breaches of the peace at night." "I'm quite amazed, Inspector." "No one has said anything to me." "I'm certainly not in the habit of making noise." "I'm certainly not in the habit of making noise." "I have very few friends, and I never entertain." "I'm not interested in your stories." "I have other things to do." "But I keep getting complaints." "It's my duty to maintain law and order." "So I say it once and for all:" "Stop whatever it is you're doing at night." " Trelkovsky-- is that Russian?" " Polish." "So you're not French." " I am a French citizen." " Let me see your identity card." "It's in a very poor state." "But you haven't registered your change of address." "15 Rue Sedan." "Where is this?" "I'm terribly sorry." "I'll do it at once." "You'd be well advised to." "Right." "This time I shall close my eyes to the whole business." "Just make sure I don't hear any more about you." "I won't have some little troublemaker disturbing the peace." "Thank you very much, Inspector." "Good-bye." "Good afternoon, madame." "I would like to know who registered a complaint against me." "Do you know who it was?" "If you didn't make so much noise, there wouldn't be any complaints." "Was there a petition?" "Was it that woman that came to see me the other day" " Madame Dioz?" "You only have yourself to blame." "Did you sign it?" "That's it." "She's won." "They've all signed it." "All except you, monsieur." "I've come to thank you." "You're a good person." "I don't like to get mixed up in this kind of thing." "Nonsense." "No, you are a good person." "I can see it in your eyes." "I got even with them... and the concierge too:" "she's as bad as all of them." "I paid them back all right." "They gave me the idea." "Do you know what I did?" "I did it on the staircase... in front of everyone's door." "It's their own fault." "They gave me the idea." "I didn't do it by your door." "I don't want to cause you any trouble." " How long ago?" "Just now." "I would love to see their faces when they find out." "It serves them right, all of them." "But they-- they'll say I did it!" "Good night, monsieur." "Sleep well." "Hey, look." "They want to drive me to suicide." "All right." "I'll show them." "Just shoes." "Simply" " Where in the world did you find them?" "Eighty francs." "You're kidding." "Supermarket, yes." "She's not as young as she thinks she is." "Beautiful, beautiful." "Adorable." "A goddess, divine." "I think I'm pregnant." "Monsters!" "They'll never turn me into Simone Choule." "Never!" "Monsieur Trelkovsky." "Do you remember the conditions on which I let you have this apartment?" "I most certainly do, Monsieur Zy." "May I know what you're referring to?" "I'm referring to what I said about women." "Oh, yes, of course." "Then why do you bring them around here?" "What?" "I never brought any women around here." "I know what I'm talking about." "You had a woman up in your room." "You can't deny it." "I'll turn a blind eye to it this time... but this is the last time." "I hope that's clear." "Good morning, Monsieur Trelkovsky." "Bring me a coffee." " You don't want a chocolate?" " I just told you, I want a coffee." "But you always have a chocolate." "You always serve me without asking what I want." "Now, today I am telling you." "I'd like a coffee." "I'm sorry, but the problem is, you see... the machine's broken down." " Sure you won't have a chocolate?" " No!" " Why the hell should I?" " It's nothing to get sore about." "I'll have a glass of red wine." "I suppose you're out of Gauloises." "That's right." "We've only got Marlboros." "You can keep them." "I know just what you are up to." "Goddamn murderers!" "No good looking at me like that." "I know exactly what your little scheme is." " What's wrong?" " My boat." " Which one?" " The red one." " What's your name?" " Patrick." "And you've lost your boat-- the red one?" "Okay, I'll get it back for you." "Filthy little brat!" "Mother." "Mother!" "It's him!" "He's there!" "I'll fight." "I'll fight to the bitter end." "Who is it?" "It's me, Trelkovsky." " Were you sleeping?" " What's the matter?" "Sorry to bother you at this hour of the morning." "Do you mind if I stayed here for a while?" "You're strange." "You must tell me." "I wouldn't mind, really." "No." "No, of course you can stay." " Look, you're hurt." " It's nothing, really." " But it's filthy." " That's nothing." "Oh, wait, wait." "I think I've got some-- some things here." "How did you do that?" "It's them." "Who?" "They're trying to kill me." "Drive me to suicide." "What are you talking about?" "Who's trying to kill you?" "Stella, I've been lying to you." "I'm living in her apartment." "Whose apartment?" "Simone's." "I rented Simone Choule's apartment." " How did you rent it?" " She died because of the neighbors." "It was a plot." "A plot against Simone?" "You're completely insane." "I'm not insane." "Listen." "They forced her to commit suicide." "I can prove it." "And they are trying to do the same thing to me." "Everything's ready." "They worked it all out, every detail." "Do you know what they've been doing to me?" "It's" "It's so appalling... so incredible that I can hardly tell you... yet it's true, I swear it." "Oh, tell me." "Tell me." "I'm listening." "They've been trying to turn me into Simone Choule." "There now." "I'm your friend." "I'm going to help you." "Come now." "You're exhausted." "Lie down." "I'm going to leave Paris in a couple of days." " They'll never find me." " That's the best thing to do." "You're the only one I can trust." "Aren't you?" "It's me, Stella." "Don't be frightened." "You do recognize me, don't you?" "Sorry." "I was having a nightmare." "I must get to work now." "I'm late." "I'll be back around 8:00." "I've left your breakfast ready." " I love you." " And I love you." "I even went out and bought you some croissants." "Please stay with me." "Don't leave me alone." "Oh, now, listen." "I'm late." "If you want to go out, just leave the keys under the mat." "I'll get another pair made tomorrow." "We'll each have our own set then." " Please don't go." " Don't be naughty now." "You're to be good and stay here." "You've got everything you need." "If you like, you can go out and get some fresh air." "I'll bring some food back this evening." "We'll eat in, or go out to a restaurant, if you like." "We'll see how you feel." "See you tonight then." "Is anyone there?" "Filthy bitch!" "They're all in it together." " Stop here." "Stop, stop." " Hey, what's wrong?" "Nothing." "I'm getting out." " Is that all right?" " Yeah." "Thank you, monsieur." "Thank you very much." "Have you got any idea where I can buy a gun?" " I'll pay good money." " Get the hell out of here, punk!" " This bugger wants to buy a gun!" " What?" "I'll tell the cops, you little shit!" "I told you not to drive so fast." "Now look what's happened." "Monsieur, are you hurt?" "People who can't drive should take taxis, you old jerks." "How dare you say that!" "My wife hasn't had an accident in 25 years." "He's right." "The guy walked right under the wheels." " I saw the whole thing." " Let me through, please." "Excuse me." "Let me through." "Let me through." "Excuse me." "Excuse me." "I'm a doctor." "Murderers." "Believe me, my wife and I are very upset about what has happened." "Please stand back." "On the curb." " Back." " Officer." "This is how it happened." "Your ID, please." "Yours too, monsieur." "You're very lucky." "Only a few scratches." "Nothing broken." "But you should have an X ray." "It's not serious." "A mild case of delirium tremens, in my opinion." "The driver and her husband made a statement." "They'll drive him home." "Is that all right, Doctor?" "Or should I call for an ambulance?" "Well, if this gentleman can manage it, it'd be fine." "We'd be glad to give this poor man a lift home." "Of course." "We'll take you home, huh?" "That is preposterous!" "No!" "Please!" " They were trying to kill me." " Yeah?" "They were playing football with a human head." "I'll give him a shot of something to calm him down." "No." "No injection." "I don't want any injection." "I don't want an injection." "They tried to kill me." "Mirza, quiet down!" "Good evening, madam." "This gentleman has had a slight accident." "Nothing serious, though." "Nothing to worry about, but" " What did he do now?" " Let's get him up to the apartment." "How did it happen?" "He sort of jumped out in front of the car, and" "Luckily my wife has very good reflexes." "What's going on here?" "It's him again." "Oh, that bastard!" "Stay." "Stay, Mirza." " What was that?" " Down in the courtyard." "We'd better call an ambulance." "Go get one, quick." "You shouldn't move!" "Monsieur, I swear I am not Simone Choule." "Quick, get him a blanket." "Two suicides in succession." " It's quite unbelievable." " Look at his clothes." "He's insane." "And we just finished repairing the roof." "I knew there was something wrong with him the first time I saw him." "Oh, God, Monsieur Trelkovsky!" "Be reasonable." "Wait for the ambulance." "You gang of killers!" "I'll show you some blood." "You wanted a clean death, didn't you?" " Be reasonable." " It's going to be dirty." "Unforgettable." "It was better last time, wasn't it?" "Well, I'm not Simone Choule." "I'm Trelkovsky!" "All right, all right." "What's going on?" " A tenant jumped out of a window." " Again?" " You must get them wholesale." " Where is he now?" "He's gone back up to his apartment." "I think he must have had some kind of a brainstorm." "He's gonna jump again!" " Tuck into the gallery." " Take it easy!" "Don't move!" " We'll come up and get you, okay?" " Be reasonable now." " Please!" "It's enough." " Why is this happening?" " Oh, God, no." " Don't do anything silly!" "Are you a friend of hers?" "Oh, I'm sorry." "What on earth could have happened?" "Why would she do a thing like that?" "To tell you the truth, I'm not a friend of hers at all." "I hardly know her, actually, but" "Simone." "You do recognize me, don't you?" "It's me, Stella." "Your friend, Stella." "Don't you recognize me?"