"[Keyboard clacking] synced and corrected by peritta" "Hello, there, folks." "Hi." "I'm Keith Stippens current editor here at Chisel Magazine..." "Stand." "...A men's magazine that many of you may be familiar with since this is, like, our website, so..." "That makes sense." "So, yeah." "Welcome, again." "Okay, cool." "So, look." "The thing we're trying to do here is kind of serious, and I-I don't know how it's gonna go, and I-I just don't know how well it's gonna be received, you know, by -- by the world at large." "Not that we even really have much of a presence in "the world at large."" "You know, mostly we're just distributed um, here in the United States, and maybe England." "But, uh..." "Places like that " " Canada?" "Yeah." "English-speaking lands, whatever they may be." "Anyway, this is a tribute of sorts, what you're about to witness here." "It's a tribute to two former employees." "We just wanted to do something to honor them." "What is this?" "Do I look at both of these cameras?" "I've only been using this one." "Do I look at the same time?" "I don't think that's possible." "Am I looking at both?" "I feel like I'm just looking right up the middle, but I don't feel like I'm..." "[Sighs]" "I'm just gonna use this one." "Sorry." "It's not about you, I'm just gonna use this one." "This whole thing was my idea." "I mean, my dad had to sign off on it, but, like, the whole concept, or the conceit, if you will -- that was me." "I did this " " Keith Stippens." "So, on with the show." "Or not -- it's not a show." "It's -- you know what I mean." "On with the thing." "Documentary." "Is that good?" ""Billy  Billie:" "A life."" "Should that be "lives"?" "Is "life" okay?" "Anybody?" "Okay." ""Billy  Billie" -- "Billy  Billie:" "Lives."" "That's not great." "[Sighs]" "Okay." ""Billy" -- "Billy  Billie"..." "What?" "Too close?" ""Billy" -- [sighs]" ""Billy " " "Hey, who's directing this -- me or you?" "[Sighs]" ""Billy  Billie:" "Two lives."" "Oh." ""Billy  Billie:" "Their two lives."" "Seems like I'm looking at them." "All right." "Did we get everything?" "I'm just gonna call my dad, I guess, or talk to Denise about it." "♪" "Hey, uh..." "This is cool, you know, that we're doing this." "Uh, like, a tribute to my friends." "That's cool." "Uh, but, yeah." "Well, as to your question, yes, um, Billy and Billie, the two of them together as step-siblings, and then suddenly just, you know, all over the other person and, like, in love?" "Whew." "[Chuckles]" "Whoa." "That " " I mean, that was a bit of a surprise, um, indeed." "Yeah." "Um..." "Not that it was terrible or anything." "I mean, I liked them both as people, so why not?" "I mean, it wasn't like they were real brother and sister." "Well, I mean, until they were, which was weird." "And, uh, you know, wow." "It was a bit -- I mean, when it came out, it was a bit intense, and, uh..." "[Laughs]" "Well, um -- about that." "And, well " "Oh, is there gonna be, uh, graphics with this?" "Like, um, my name down here saying who I am and stuff?" "That would be cool." "If they do -- if they do that." "I mean, obviously they don't have to " "I mean, not just for me, but if they're gonna do it, like, as a uniform thing, that would be neat." "Look, I had my suspicions right from the start, and I just -- I just let my guard down." "That just isn't something you want to allow in your head, that thought, the possibility that your two children..." "In love, doing those kinds of things together " "I just..." "And it was not easy to tell them that, to be the one who was " "You know what?" "I'm gonna use the correct word here." "I'll be the one to say it because no one else will -- to be brave enough to just reveal the truth." "I mean, the truth or..." "Well, the truth is, I saw it, believed it to be, and I-I did believe it." "I never would have said anything." "I never would have opened that can of -- you know, I-I just -- I wouldn't." "And there was a real chance that they were brother and sister -- full-on blood brother and sister, and someone needed to say something." "And so I did." "Just [sighs] you know, great kids." "That's all I can say -- great, great kids, and I felt " "Billy was such a good boy growing up." "That's what I remember most." "Yeah, I've got a young one now -- Carson, Billy's stepbrother." "Wonderful boy." "Just great." "Billy reminds me of him back in the day." "More talkative, probably." "Carson's a strong, silent type." "I'm feeling a Mountain of hurt right now." "It's not easy to deal with." "That's all I can say at this time, okay?" "It's too soon." "Screw this." "Turn it off." "I said turn it off." "I'll turn it off for you." "She's my best friend." "I mean, I was hers, definitely." "A-and I have a lot of best friends because I'm me and I know lots of people -- a lot, so that's..." "But she's top 5, definitely." "Probably top 3." "And from the people from my past, from my childhood," "I'd say she's..." "I'd say she's number one, my top friend and kind of soul mate, in many ways." "Um..." "I think I was aspirational for her." "Like, what she'd be at her tip-top, her highest and most tippiest tip-top, and, for me, she always represented my roots, like, where I came from and who I could have been had I not been, like, beautiful and successful and famous," "and just those things." "That didn't come out right." "I was kind of caught right in the middle, if you catch my meaning." "That's a metaphor -- the middle." "But I think you understand my meaning." "I was right there." "Just dead center." "So..." "Or maybe here." "Maybe slightly to one side." "'Cause I knew Billy, you know, first, but..." "Yeah." "Not great." "It was like a 60/50 split, which is not cool." "Uh, no, that's -- that's too much." "50/40 split -- something like that." "Still, just not fun, and, you know, torn in both directions, you know, when Billie came to work for us 'cause she was -- [sighs]" "You know, she was good." "Um, a really good fit for the magazine and a nice person, good dresser." "I'm not supposed to mention that." "Strike that." "I don't know how she dressed." "But, uh, Billy -- boy." "Billy..." "Was a very -- very sweet dude, as well." "Very." "But then, um, all the..." "Yeah." "[Clears throat] Yep, that's..." "I'm not sure what you're looking for." "Like, dirt?" "'Cause if so, you're not gonna get it from me, 'cause, uh, I do not kiss and tell." "I don't." "I might " " I might kiss, and I might tell, but I don't do both, not as a package." "Once I kiss, I don't tell, and vice versa." "Wait." "I don't know if that's true." "Definitely the first one, but I think I have to think about the other one to see if that's true or not, but, anyway." "You know what I'm saying." "Or not saying." "[Laughs]" "And I'm not." "Uh, I'm, uh, not saying any more about, uh, that." "Uh, I-I really like them as a -- as a couple, so..." "Is -- is that...?" "Do you want more, like, stories about them or just, like, our feelings or, um " "Keith asked me to do this really last-minute, so I'm not really, um..." "Hmm." "[Chuckles]" "Maybe you should just ask me questions, and I can answer them?" "Is that -- is that possible?" "Beautiful girl." "That's what I remember most." "Really lovely, beautiful girl." "Killer eyes, great hair." "You guys have seen a picture of her, obviously, right?" "Yeah." "Hair like Rita Hayworth, whom I am too young to have met or acted with, obviously, but still an inspiration -- or the young Julia Roberts, whom I have done two pictures with." "I had a walk-on in "conspiracy theory."" "I was supposed to have lines, but somebody got jealous -- not naming names." "And then, again, in that movie of the play they did with Meryl " "Oh, God." "What's it called, with the British guys doing all the other parts and sounding phony?" ""August:" "Osage county." That one." "I had a nice little role in that film, but it got cut." "C'est la vie." "My part was actually added specifically for me by the writer, Tracy Letts -- great guy." "I did a couple days with him onscreen, actually, on "Homeland," where I had a four-episode arc." "Very fun." "Anyway, yeah." "I did that "August:" "Osage" with Julia, as well, so..." "She's a great example." "Uh, what was I saying?" "Oh, yeah." "Billie's hair -- her hair was like that, like a young Julia in "mystic pizza."" "You meet people, and you don't really think anything of it." "Meet them when they're young and happy, and you figure they'll live forever." "Not ever." "Nobody does that." "Except on this stupid show I'm working on." "These people are immortal or some idiotic thing?" "I stopped reading the scripts." "I really did." "About a year ago." "It doesn't matter one bit." "Do the same shit day in and out no matter what." "But, yeah, they're immortal or something, but not us, not real folk." "Yeah." "She was a nice girl, it seemed." "Times that I'd seen her at the studio with drew once or twice." "I heard she dated Bradley, and about fell out of my chair." "God, why would she do that?" "Didn't drew tell her what a dipshit that guy is?" "I think he was already, probably, born." " Uh..." " Is that correct?" "Well, I think -- I think pretty much yes." "Maybe he was." "Well, you could check with your ex-wife." "She would know." "Your -- your first ex-wife." "Jesus." "Oh, oh, oh, okay." "Oh, oh, oh." "I'm just saying." "God, you are -- [sighs]" "We never used to act like this to each other." "Now it's all..." "Confrontational." "So be it." "So, yes, Billy was born, and you moved into town." "Yes." "And?" "We met at the club." "Right." "That's right." "I think there were some doubles tennis matches, if I remember correctly." "[Laughs] Oh, yes." "True." "Some hapless matches." "Oh, no, no, no." "Speak for yourself." "I am." "I was terrible." "[Laughs]" "You weren't half bad." "I was damn good, and I still am." "Probably so." "Probably so." "Anyway, uh, I got pregnant, and -- and an unmarried woman in this bedroom community, needless to say, it caused a bit of a scandal." "Well, more than a bit." "Big news up there in Westchester." "White plains." "Jesus." "Why don't you give out our entire address, huh?" "No, no." "Guess what?" "It's my address." "It's my house." "I got it " "I got the house in the settlement." "Can you imagine it?" "The entire place -- her and Carson." "It's ridiculous." "That's justice." "Can we not -- [Sighs]" "The whole point of this is that both kids had a -- you know, a storybook start as children." "I mean, growing up outside the city like that -- really great." "I remember those years in a very fond way." "Don't you, Candace?" "Yes, it is very pretty up there." "I took my vows very seriously." "At least I did when James and I first got married, but after a few years of his..." "Antics," "I got fed up with his ways, and I finally..." "I don't wish to elaborate on it, actually." "That's not why I agreed to be part of this." "I just wanted to set the record straight and, uh, pay tribute to my son, whom I love." "And that's that." "And you, how did you know them both?" "Oh, I didn't." "Billie -- girl." "Nope." "I met her here." "Oh." "Uh, and then Billy -- boy -- uh, I met him 'cause we used to play hockey together growing up in junior leagues, and, uh..." "Anyway, it was a lot of fun back in the day." "Huh." "Yeah." "And he was quite speedy on those skates, and I was the goalie for another team, so I had to deal with him quite a bit, and, I have to say, he was a top-notch player." "Very nice." "I, uh " " I actually played a goalie once in a film." "Um, yeah -- female goalie on a minor-league team." "Denis Leary movie." "Oh!" "[Snaps]" ""Pricks with sticks."" "Yep." " I saw that." " Mm-hmm." "You were good." "Thank you." "I-I also got to meet Wayne Gretzky, so that was..." "No..." "Way." "It was pretty special." "No way." "Yeah." "Him and his wife -- went to dinner." " Janet Jones?" " Mm-hmm." "She was in playboy." "That's great." "Wow." "That's awesome." "Anyway." "Yeah." "Oh!" "And then so when he came out of school and he was looking for work..." "Mm-hmm." "...um, this place was, uh -- started to make a dent in the industry." "Mm-hmm." "And, uh, chisel, the magazine that I work for." "Right." " Right." " Mm-hmm." "And so we were playing in a pick-up game over at Chelsea piers." "I mentioned to him that we were looking for copy editors." "Oh." "And, uh, you know, he said yes, and, you know, one thing, so " "I just -- you know, that's how I met Keith." "Funny thing." "I just thought of it." "That's how I met Keith, was on the ice." "Same way as I met Billy -- like, two of my best friends, and I met them just -- man, that is -- that is crazy and wonderful." "Wow." " Yeah." " Huh." "I, um " " I also dated Billy for a short while." " The girl?" " No, the boy." " Oh." " That's obvious." "Well, we didn't date." "We went to junior prom together." "And, uh, we messed around a little bit, but..." "Dude." "I'm not saying anything else about that." "Awesome." "I'm not saying that I knew her better." "Good." "Because you didn't." "True." "But my point is -- okay, then." "But to finish a thought here, if that's all right." "Sure." "Go ahead." " Trying." " Go for it." "That would require a pause on your part." "Dude, don't be a dick." "Impossible." "Well, that's true." "So, go on then, costar." "Say whatever it is you're gonna say." "My point is, you may have known Billie better, but I knew her more intimately, that's all." "[Groans]" "What?" "Are you referring to the fact that you two once -- thrice, actually." "One night, but, yeah, three times." "Trois." "Exactement." "And so the fact that we grew up together, we went to school together, had sleepovers -- that doesn't count as intimate at all, seriously?" "Maybe." "Did you guys ever...?" "What?" "You know." "No!" "Fuck!" "No!" "Just asking." "Whatever." "Mm." "Actually, she did date a girl for a little while " "Billie -- she did." "In college." "Really?" "Billie?" "Great girl." "Really great." "She was someone in my life for " "I don't know -- a bit." "We met in a college class, some kind of a drawing class." "It was my arts gen ed., so don't quote me." "It's all a blur now, right?" "School?" "Great girl, though." "She was." "Could be a little violent." "She'd break stuff or, you know, not throw it right at you, but knock things over or, like, pound the table to make a point." ""Passionate" is what I thought." "I'd barely call what we did dating." "I wouldn't -- no." "We went out a couple times, and I slept over at his house once or twice, but things ended before it got, you know, very far, like a relationship or that type of deal." "His stepsister, or -- slash girlfriend slash..." "[Sighs] God." "I mean, does it sound as weird to your ear as it does to me saying it?" "She sort of ran me off one night and that was it." "I mean, mostly." "I did see Billy again..." "Once or twice, just at the restaurant because, you know, of course he wanted to, you know, make stuff turn out right." "He was like that." "I invested two years in that relationship, so..." "Yeah, it was obviously important to me." "Not sure what she'd say -- would've said." "But, yeah, pretty big deal for me." "Back then I'd seen her around the neighborhood." "Back then, she was always wearing these sort of t-shirts with logos on them or crazy, like, vintage T's, but very ironic." "She had a good sense of humor." "Vicious at times, even, but good." "Clever, sharp." "I'm a writer, so I know." "Yeah, that girl could cut you down." "One, two words -- bam." "She scared me a bit." "I think that's what broke us up, her temper." "Knocked a whole big thing of nachos off the table once at this party." "Somebody started arguing with her about Jeff Koons." "[Scoffs]" "Yeah, Jeff Koons." "I mean, like, really?" "A film forum." "That's where we met -- at an old movie?" "God, what was it?" "It's one of those films that gets put out again, reissued." "It was -- oh, it was French." "I think -- yeah, scary." "With the girl whose face is all -- no." "Yeah." "Yeah, that's it." "That's the title of it -- "eyes without a face."" "Crazy." "Have you seen it?" "Oh." "Amazing." "It's beautiful and amazing." "So, uh, we were sitting there, my girlfriend and I." "We'd gone to see this grateful dead film, but we couldn't get in, so we're watching this thing, and it's nuts." "I mean, like, it's insane." "Girls getting kidnapped so a doctor can remove their faces to put on his daughter, who has no face." "[Scoffs]" "Anyway, so, there's this one part -- very tense, so scary, and I react." "I just, like " "I just reach out, and I grab at the..." "You know, the thingy there, the armrest." "But his arm is on it -- Billy's." "And so I grab it, and I just hold on -- just during that one part -- and he holds my hand the rest of the movie." "So I sent my roommate home, and we went to dinner -- this great Asian place." "We went back to his house, watched another movie, and, well, you know." "A lady never tells." "[Chuckles]" "We met on a train, of all places -- the "Q."" "Going downtown, I think, or uptown." "It doesn't really matter." "We met." "She was studying one of those billboards they have on the wall." "You know what I'm talking about, right?" "Like the little ads for things." "This one was for the Whitney, a Jeff Koons exhibit, I think, and she had her face pressed up against it, like, almost touching it -- like this -- reading it to herself but basically out loud," "and she was just foaming at the mouth about it." "Like, you know, like, basically a homeless person who gets on your train and starts in about president Lincoln or pirates or diapers -- you know, whatever they talk about -- nonsense." "But she's being very lucid and very loud -- very -- about an artist she doesn't like." "She can't believe they're giving this asshole -- and these are her words, not mine -- such resources and a platform, and on and on and on." "It was love at first sight." "[russian accent] Great guy." "So sorry to hear about all the bad shit." "But, yeah, dated for about a year, maybe less." "Maybe a little lower." "Best memories being over at his place " "TCM classic movies on, and we'd order in Chinese food." "It was just our own little thing." "I've tried doing it since with other men, but it's just not the same." "It was our memory -- very private and special." "It's what I remember most about him." "We had this spot we loved to go to -- our own little hideaway." "He said this -- this was ours, just for us." "This wonderful little dim sum place -- so good - down at, um..." "By the, uh..." "In the east village, uh, right by that one place." "Um..." "Anthology film archive." "Just around the corner from there." "We'd go get dumplings and then go see a couple really obscure foreign films or one of the oldies they had playing, and Billy told me that was his favorite thing we did together." "Like, it was something that we invented together -- dinner and a movie." "Uh, that's my favorite memory of us." "I-I don't understand." "Why are you -- why are you laughing?" "I mean, no, I didn't think about me and Billie dating." "That wasn't really part of the, uh, you know, work relationship." "Tom:" "She was cute, though." "Yes, no question." "Not beautiful." "That's pretty subjective." "Right." "Which is what I'm saying." "Like, in my point of view, she -- you know, she was cute, but she wasn't like a beauty queen or a type like that." "Who is?" "Lots of people." "Who?" "Hmm." "Beauty queens, for one." "True." "Yes." "But that's still..." "Yeah, I mean, I would have been interested in her if the whole thing between them didn't go down, you know." "And, you know -- not gonna be my next question, but okay." "You know, I definitely would have been up for it." "Cool." "'Cause there's this thing." "We had a -- we had a report." "[Scoffs] A what?" "You know, a report." "Like..." "We have a report." "Oh." "A rapport." "Okay, I guess I just maybe misunderstood you." "What do you think I said?" "Something else." "Clearly, I didn't." "So, yeah..." "Uh-huh." "Anyhoo..." "Uh, Billie did a lot of dating at the office." "A lot of dating." "It's kind of been documented, so don't need to..." "On this program?" "No, I mean, how many pro-- no." "But just throughout the company." "People know throughout the company." "Right." "Sure." "There." " Yeah." "So..." " Of course." "So there's no need to rehash the whole, you know." "Right." "What went on with Tim and everything with them and stuff." "I was just -- I was just really sure that there was a very good chance that she could -- we know that." "We know that." "Or why bring it up, right?" "Obviously." "I mean, I-I had slept with you around that time, so I just figured -- obviously some other people, too." "Yes." "Obviously." "Yes." "You know, okay." "Yes, I did, okay?" "I don't think I was the only one exploring my sexuality at the time." "Of course not, but it's just that -- you know, at least I wasn't married." "True." "Married with children." "Just one." "Just Billy." "Yes, but, um..." "There were a couple of more possibilities, it turned out." "First I heard they were actually related, and then no, and then yes again." "I'm not actually sure what the truth was in the end." "The whole thing was, like, just..." "Ew." "Just..." "Mm." "For a second there, it turns out they were, indeed, entwined." "I mean, like, closely." "As close as you can get." "Like full-on incest, I think." "Which is amazing, like, biblical." "Well, I don't mean that -- well, I don't think -- not that the Bible says to do that." "I don't mean that." "It's totally against it -- I believe." "Like one of those "thou shall nots," even." "Absolutely not true." " No?" " No." "That's what we were told here at the office, that they were." "That's not true?" "No!" "[Sighing] Oh, man." "That's what I told my dad." "I feel like that's why he liked this story in the first place." "Okay, let's just -- we're just not gonna dwell on that part, and then we're just gonna..." "Okay?" "But you should tell the truth." "I mean, that's what this is about, right?" "A documentary?" "Yeah, um..." "My dad gets, like, really angry when things go wrong." "So I think we're just gonna..." "Okay." "I'll do it." "Um, no, they did not end up being siblings " "I mean, yes siblings, step-siblings, but not the other -- real-life, blood siblings." "But he did turn out to be her real dad, right?" "I mean, that part's true, so..." "Yeah." "James ended up being her father." "She took some tests, and the results ended up being conclusive." "Ooh." "Geez." "That's wild." "[Sighs] Tell me about it." "Oh, yeah." "'Cause you guys were..." "You had a thing." "Yep." "Mm." "Keep you away from my dad." "[Both laugh]" "Just kidding." "Sort of." "It's a little too late." "What?" "You know my dad?" "Oh, my God." "[Laughing] I'm kidding." "No, I don't know your dad." "Oh, thank God." "Okay." "That's -- [clears throat] That's cool." "I just -- that would been -- that would have been a little much, I think, to -- [sighs] For today." "Uh, but, yes, James Jones was Billie's actual father in the end, but there's a really interesting -- hmm?" "Oh." "I'm sorry." "Do you not know the -- the rest of the story?" "No, yeah." "And I think I do." "About, um -- about Billy's -- boy Billy's -- yeah." "Uh, just, I mean..." "Mm-hmm." "Mm-hmm." "Yeah." "But was that ever proved?" "I mean, explicitly proved?" "Because, I mean..." "You know, just " "I guess that's -- I was confused before 'cause there was so much back-and-forth and the different stories." "It's like, who's to say, right?" "I'm not sure about proved, but, yeah, I think so." "Okay." "I had a relationship outside of marriage with a very nice man who found himself in the same place I was -- in pain, in need -- and that brought us together." "It couldn't last." "It was never meant to." "But, apparently, it produced a child." "Yeah, uh, very surprising, I got to say, when Marian contacted me out of the blue." "I hadn't seen her in -- well, a few years." "20 or so." "I got married and moved west " " Chicago." "Uh, had two girls with another woman -- my wife, now gone." "Not dead, but divorced." "And then I got contacted online." "She had found me on a web thing where we reconnected." "I-I had no idea at that point what all this was about." "Her son, Billy, they had done a paternity test on him." "It had come up negative on his perceived father, James, whom I knew from back in the day, the old neighborhood." "So I-I was apparently the only other, uh..." "So, yeah." "Yes, it was a match." "[Clears throat]" "People could write a book about this." "People should write a book about this that could be made into a movie." "Which is what we're doing right now!" "We're making a movie about what my friends did..." "Together." "And there are so many layers, so many levels." "It's a big onion we're peeling here." "It is a large, round -- it's an onion that would win a blue ribbon at a state fair." "That's how big this onion is." "Anyway..." "Yeah." "I'm not even a big fan of onions." "I don't even know why it came up." "Can you peel a rutabaga?" "I'm trying to buy the rights to the story from the family 'cause it just -- it would just make a hell of a movie, which I'm branching out into now -- films." "Always been a dream of mine, and now I'm doing it." "At my age, got to go for it." "Keith can run chisel." "God, I hope so." "Where is he?" "If not, I'll just " "I'll make Denise co-editor or something or just close the damn thing, even, for all I care." "I'm gonna go west, make movies." "Hollywood, here I come." "Uh, but, uh, yeah." "Just, uh, incredible story, and both of them here, right here, working for me the whole time." "God." "Part of the time." "That is just..." "It's a story that just keeps on giving and giving and giving, like the two guys there at the Washington post hit on, huh, with Watergate -- Woodward, Bernstein." "Two kids who grew up step-siblings fall in love only to find out they're not step-siblings, but real siblings, only to find out they're not, due to another turn of fate, because everybody was fucking somebody else," "but they do not know that." "That is what they do not know before they're killed in an automobile accident." "I mean, come on!" "That shit sells newspapers, books, everything else." "What we didn't give out to anyone -- nobody's business." "Right." "Right?" "Of course." "Don't look at me." "Like I went and told anybody?" "James told me the whole thing." "Unreal." "Everything was crazy " "I mean, as crazy as it could be -- for a while once she found out that he was her real dad, so she and Billy broke up." "And they got back together and then broke up again and finally got engaged, as you do." "And this went on for like a year or so?" "Maybe we shouldn't reveal this." "But in fairness to their memories..." "[Sighs]" "She was pregnant." "That's what finally did it." "[Chuckles]" "Yep." "Billie was gonna have a baby." "And so she found that out, told Billy, and I guess he was still like, "I am not being tested,"" "which, I got to say, is kind of out there " "I mean, dumb." "Because at that point -- at that point -- it's all coming to a head, right?" "Am I right?" "So, they get into it on Christmas morning this past year -- again, on a holiday." "I mean, holidays are bad for most people, but for these two -- shit, whatever." "And so Billie's like, "ugh," you know?" "She's smashing breakfast plates off the table -- this is what James told me -- and, uh..." "Billie ran out of the apartment [scoffs] Like she did so often." "I mean, she did that, God, most of her life." "She'd scream her head off at you, and then she'd -- and then she'd run out." "And it's true." "And so..." "And Billy goes after her like of course he would, and it's snowing." "Beautiful snowfall we had the night before." "And they get..." "Hit." "[Voice breaking] Together -- he was holding her in the middle of the street -- by a taxi who just couldn't stop." "Or not fast enough." "[Sighs]" "That's how they died, in each other's arms in the city they loved so much." "But, like -- like with their arms..." "That part makes me really sad." "And happy, too." "But, yeah, so sad." "With her?" "Uh..." "Playing ping-pong, without question." "We played a few games once, and, uh, she was pretty good." "I mean, not great, but I suck, too." "I don't suck." "But we were, uh -- we were pretty even, and, uh, you know, and after that, we'd do it from time to time, and we'd play a little." "And that's -- that's what I remember about her." "And Billy..." "I don't know." "Just him, his smile." "Um..." "Uh, that, uh -- that sounds gay, but it's not." "It's not." "It's, uh, obviously -- you know, I mean, it's okay to be gay, obviously, but I'm not." "So I don't want to sound that way in case -- but, you know, he, uh..." "He had a nice smile, and, um..." "You know, it made you feel good." "I don't really have a favorite memory of her." "I guess maybe the first day we met." "She had this really cute skirt on." "I remember that much, I mean." "And Billy." "I don't know." "Uh..." "One morning I woke up at his place, and he was really sweet, made me breakfast in bed." "Uh, I can be kind of picky with that sort of thing, but he made me an omelet that was just right." "It was perfect." "And then he sat at the end of the bed watching me eat it, smiling." "[Chuckles]" "I obviously knew Billy much better than his sister " "I mean, that Billie -- or half-sister." "What -- what -- what was she again?" "What was the real story?" "Does anybody even actually know?" "[Chuckles]" "Oh, well, it doesn't..." "Billy was fun." "He was -- he was nice." "I liked him." "I've got -- yeah." "I've got lots of really good memories of Billy -- him, Billy." "But her..." "Uh, hmm." "Oh, you know, actually she got us these salads this one time." "She said they were -- um, Moroccan, French?" "She said they were French salads." "Or something like that." "I'm sure -- yes, I'm sure it was." "It was French salads, and they were incredible." "I mean, I don't eat meat or dairy." "I'm vegan, so I have to be, like, really careful, but these things, they were just " "I mean, that is definitely -- that's my favorite memory of her, of Billie -- salads." "[Chuckles] Those French salads." "Yum." "I never had the pleasure of meeting the young lady." "I hear she was a real spitfire, and I loved her work." "But those drawings of hers, they just -- they added something to the magazine that was missing." "So I'm proud of that." "As far as Billy, um, I only knew him a bit, as well." "I don't spend a lot of time in New York." "Two of my exes live here, and, frankly, the town gives me the creeps, but I spent a little time with him at a conference in Miami, and -- oh, I don't know " "he just seemed like a really good kid." "I actually had plans for him." "If he'd have come back to the magazine," "I could easily have seen him in a managerial position." "Absolutely." "Billie -- girl -- would probably be just us interacting, working on layouts, that sort of deal." "Me making her laugh." "Yeah, for some reason, I think she liked my sense of humor." "She laughed at me a lot." "[Chuckles]" "But just doing that." "Those -- those are good memories." "Uh..." "What else?" "Oh, we actually did lunch one time together." "It was very cool." "And, uh, Billy -- boy -- that's..." "That's tough." "I got to -- got to get back to you on that." "[Chuckles]" "There's just too much stuff there to just..." "That was a good dude." "That was a good dude right there." "Billy Jones." "Jones!" "I met the guy once." "We got into it and fought briefly." "He ripped a nice shirt of mine, so, no, not great memories there." "Sorry." "But Billie..." "I spent this one beautiful night with her." "We made very real and passionate love together." "I made her breakfast the next morning, but that whole..." "Interlude -- that's probably the best word for it -- that was very special, very..." "Sublime." "That's probably the closest I can come to describing what we had -- something..." "Sublime." "Like a moonflower -- opens briefly, and then, poof..." "Gone." "Her, I..." "[Sighs]" "Look, I don't want to be disrespectful, but she was just always kind of a bitch to me, so, I don't have anything really to say." "Uh, but, I mean, him..." "Just sitting in the diner." "He had his booth that was his, and, you know, that's just -- that's how I'm gonna remember him -- like that." "Sadly, very little about him." "It's all been hearsay and stories." "I didn't really know him." "Seen his picture." "Seemed like a great guy." "I'm sure that we " "I bet we would have liked each other a lot." "I would have loved to have had a son." "What am I saying?" "I had a son." "Uh..." "And I..." "And I love that -- love him." "Yeah." "The day he was born, that was pretty perfect." "That much I do remember..." "Holding him in my arms on my chest and just feeling him breathing, crying..." "And being there for him." "Drew and I?" "Oh, well, um..." "Well -- [Laughs]" "No way." "No." "No." "I'm not gonna go down that road." "[Laughs]" "Oh, God." "This has been a crazy couple of years." "[Sighs]" "And the way things have turned out..." "You know, I-I really just love those two." "I-I really do, and..." "Billy and I, we got to talk out stuff once over dinner, and he was very good about it, I must say." "But Billie and I?" "Well..." "We never did get that moment to just..." "I take the blame for that." "Billy and I had our differences." "I won't deny that." "He could -- [Chuckles]" "He could be a real pip, that kid." "Quick, but very, very smart tongue." "I mean, I have a..." "A number of nice memories of him, but..." "Well, one -- one Halloween, I guess, him helping me build a costume for his brother, and we -- oh, I forget what was going on, but something was going on with his father," "and -- and he reached over, and he held my hand." "Just -- just for a moment." "And that I do remember." "That was very sweet." "[Chuckles]" "And Billie..." "Never just one." "That would be impossible." "She -- just one memory, she was..." "[Crying]" "Every -- everything." "I'm s-- [crying] I'm sorry." "I can't do this now." "I was at home going over an episode of "time bomb"" "and just hanging out, and there's a knock on the door." "Weird." "The doorman hadn't buzzed me." "I didn't order food." "So I'm like, "okay, whatever."" "I open it, and there she is " "Billie standing in my doorway, and, you know [Chuckles] with her, you just never knew, what, with everything that had gone on." "I'd stopped dating James at that point." "And she was just staring at me for a long time, like, is she gonna hit me or smash another pie on me?" "What?" "And she stepped forward and hugged me." "Just puts her arm around me and hugs me." "For the longest time." "I did not move." "I just let her do it, holding me there -- the two of us kind of standing in the hallway, but half in the door to my loft, and she just keeps hugging me for the longest time," "and after, what, like -- this went on for like 5 minutes, and that's a long time when you're being still and not talking." "She finally whispers, "I get it." "Life is fucking hard."" "And she turns around and walks away." "That's the last time I ever saw her." "What can I say?" "I mean, life is strange, people are crazy." "This whole thing, it was fucked, you know?" "They were in love, even I could see that." "And when you're in love, nothing should get in the way of that, not parents or politics -- nothing." "Love doesn't really come around all that often -- seems like it to me, anyway." "So, when it does, everybody needs to just " "I don't know." "What do I know?" "I'm just a kid." "That's my best memory of them." "My sister and brother, Billie and Billy, them up at the house, hanging out with me or out in the yard, playing football and laughing -- just them, together and in love." "synced and corrected by peritta" "♪"