"Name's Crowley." "You're Crowley?" "I see you have heard of me." "I can give you anything you want, mate." " All I need is..." " My soul." "You sold your soul?" "Oh, more like pawned it." " I fully intend to give it back." " Well, then give it back!" " I can't." " Can't or won't?" "I won't, all right?" "It's insurance." " Rufus Turner." "He's a hunter." " One of your old friends?" "Friend?" "He's not the Christmas-card type." "Gentlemen." "I'm Sheriff Jody Mills." "I don't believe we've had the pleasure." "Agent Willis speaking." " Bobby?" " Oh..." "So you know Bobby Singer?" "Bobby, I thought the Sheriff hated you?" "She did till five days ago." "What happened five days ago?" "The dead started rising all over town." "Bobby, you just gonna sit there?" "No, I'm gonna Riverdance." "Really wasted that crossroads deal." "Son of a bitch." "Hello..." "king of the crossroads." "Are you okay?" "Yeah, I'm great." "'Cause there's been a few times that you got me wondering." " Something's different with you." " I'm okay." "You went to hell, Sam." "Yesterday, this Galveston shoreline was being pounded by 10-foot swells and winds up to 150 miles per hour." "But today, well, there's not a cloud in sight." "Hurricane Tiffany has broken up over the Gulf, and our 5-day forecast calls for nothing But sun and clear skies." "I guess somebody up there likes us." "Thank you, Phil..." "Et ad congregandum..." "Eos coram me." "Been making merry, have we?" "Bite me." "If that's your thing." "That swan dive of Sam's was a thing of beauty." "Tens all the way 'round, standing "O" from the Romanian judge." "You should be proud, Bobby." "As deaths go, it wasn't too shabby." "Cheer up, mate!" "We just saved the sodding world together." "Me?" "I've been celebrating." "I hate to see what you call "celebrating."" "Yes, you would." "Drink?" "No." "Let me get this straight." "We just "Saved the sodding world together,"" "and you're too good to drink with me?" "Obviously." "And I doubt that you have my brand." "What's your poison, your highness?" "Craig, aged 30 years, at least." "Been drinking it since grade school." "Well..." "I got old rotgut..." "Aged six days." "Swill like that is gonna burn a hole in your soul." "Oh, sorry.My soul." "But that's why you called... our little... deal?" "Yeah, well... it's about time you hold up your end and give it back." "Give it back?" "Our deal was..." "We ice Lucifer, you rip up the lease." "Oh." "You didn't read your contract." "The hell you talking about, contract?" "Paragraph 18, subsection "B."" "Which is on your naughty bits..." "I only have to make "best efforts"" "to give you back your soul." "Meaning what?" "Meaning..." "I'd like to... but I can't." "You lying sack of... 10 years... you come to daddy." "Till then, I suggest you start drinking the good stuff." "I figured you'd say that." "So you can rot here until you change your mind." " Why?" "'Cause you asked nicely?" " No." "'Cause I'm going "Dateline" on your ass." "I hope that's paint." "Really?" "What am I going to do?" "Doggy breath." "Bracing, isn't it?" "Ball's in your court, Robert." "10 years of living... or 10 years as Alpo." "This ain't over." "I wouldn't have it any other way." "Happy hunting." "Season 6 Episode 4 "Weekend at Bobby's"" "No EMF." "Find anything in there?" "Yeah, I got some kind of a... claw" "What in the hell has a claw like that?" "That is a good question." "Maybe he's in the can." "Yeah?" " What happened, you fall and can't get back up?" " Hilarious." " What's up?" " We're in Wisconsin." "Six bodies, chests cracked wide open." "No EMF, no sulfur, no hex bags." "We did find this, though." "Hang on." "All right, check your wang." "That's a new one." "Yeah, we need an I.D. ASAP." "This thing's on a rampage." "Call as soon as you dig something up." "Dean, I'm a little busy." "Well, then kick Bo Derek out of your bathtub." "We got a case here." "I'll call you back." "Balls." "Balls!" "Come on!" "Come on!" "Balls!" "You're hunting a Lamia." "Come again?" "It's a monster." "Juices hearts, chugs the blood." "Never heard of one popping up outside of Greece, though." "Yeah, well, looks like this freak has immigrated." "It's snacking on cheese-heads." "How do we gank it?" "There's a couple of ways." "Easiest is a silver knife blessed by a padre." "Gotcha." "You're welcome." "Hey!" "I'm still here!" "Hey, there, cranky." "You were gone so long, I just assumed alcoholic coma." " Where were we?" " Your soul." "Right." "Talk." "Look at you... all in a rush." "Foreplay... gets you more play." "I want Crowley's name." "His real name, back when he was flesh and blood." "Does tying demons up in your basement make you feel better about that time you killed your wife?" "What's that?" "You don't recognize them?" "They're yours." "It won't work." "It's a myth." "Then you got nothing to worry about." "I can't!" "You don't know what he'll do to me." " Right now, you better worry about me." " You don't get it." "He's the king." "King of the crossroads, I've heard the speech." "No." "King of hell." "You gonna get that or what?" "Marcy." " Bobby Singer, how long have we been neighbors?" " Six months." "Well, don't you think it's time you welcomed me to the neighborhood?" "My famous ginger-peach cobbler." "Take a whiff." "Seriously, I'm a genius." "Help me!" "Somebody help me!" "It's, um... stupid horror flicks." "Guilty pleasure." "I love scary movies." "Hey, have you seen "Drag Me to Hell"?" "Trying to avoid it." "But it's fantastic." "Saturday, 7:00, my house." "I'll fix you dinner, and I'll whip up a batch of my famous white-chocolate popcorn, and we'll watch it." "Deal?" "That sounds super, Marcy, but, uh..." "Okay, no worries." "Um, hey, one other thing... uh, my wood chipper..." "it's a piece of crap." "You know, it just broke down on me, and... and I hear that you're quite handy." "Maybe you could come over and... take a look." "You know, just whenever." "Yeah, I'll see what I can do." "Okay." "Okay." "Okay, see you soon." "Aw!" "She sounds nice." "Are you gonna make sweet love to her before you stab her to death, Bobby?" "That is your usual thing, right?" "I want Crowley's name, now!" " Crowley's name!" " Okay!" "Okay." "Macleod." "Fergus Macleod." "I swear." "We call him lucky the leprechaun behind his back." "Macleod's Scottish, Einstein." "You got what you want." "Now send me back." "No." "We had a deal!" "Gave it my best effort." "No!" "Yeah, Garth." "What do you got?" "I've never heard of a vamp doing that." "Doesn't sound like our kind of thing." "Better drop a dime to the FBI." "Willis." "FBI." "No, Garth." "Not me, the FBI." "The real FBI." "How are you still alive?" "You got Castle." "Yeah." "Yeah." "Willis." "Uh-huh." "Of course she's one of ours." "And if she says she's got to dig that grave up, you better damn well let her." "Mm." "Oh, good, you're home." "Listen, you got to help me bury a body." "Why'd you bring it here?" "The law is on my tail." "What was your guess?" "What?" "What?" "What?" "They got lucky." "Yeah, or you're getting slow." "I'm getting slow." "Yeah, says Mr. "sits on his ass all day taking calls."" "Vamp?" "Shifter?" "What?" "None of the above." "Okami?" "Where'd you shiv it?" "Get this... billings." "Only time I ever saw one of these was in Japan." "Duh!" "No one's ever seen one of these except in Japan." "For what it's worth," "Sam and Dean are tracking a Lamia in Wisconsin." "Get out." "I thought they never leave Greece." "Monsters lately... is it me, or is it weird?" "Yeah, well, it's..." "definitely something." "So, you got a shovel?" "Man!" "I know what I want for Hanukkah." "So, the son of a bitch's name is Fergus Macleod?" "That's the son of a bitch's name." "Where you gonna look?" "Scotland." "Crowley let slip that he likes Craig." "It's, um..." "It's Scotch." "Only made and sold in a tiny area on the north tip of Caithness County." "It's peaty and sharp with a long finish of citrus and tobacco notes." "Hey, what?" "What am I, a heathen?" "I know what Craig is." "Well, I got a hunch that, that's where Crowley lived and died, back when he was a human... a few hundred years before he got the big squeeze in hell and came out a demon." "You know, I got contacts over there." "I can make a few calls." "I ain't asking for no help." "I'm not asking for your permission." "Yeah." "What's another way to kill a Lamia?" "Well, what happened to the silver knife" " blessed by a priest?" " That didn't pan out." "What's plan "B"?" "Police!" " Balls!" " Come on, Bobby, get the lead out." " Where are you?" " The church... in a rectory." " Is there a kitchen?" " Yeah." "Find salt and rosemary." "Open up, Singer!" "Mr. Singer, I'm Agent Adams." "I believe you know Sheriff Mills." "Come on." "My mom." "Just a second." " Rosemary!" "I got it!" " Great, great." "Now blend the herbs, sauté over a high heat." "Cook well." "Sammy!" "Fire in the hole!" "Okay, great, great." "Enjoy the roast, mom." "Have you seen this man?" "Rufus Turner, aka Luther Vandross, aka Ruben Studdard?" " No." "Never seen that dick." " How you know he's a dick?" " Lucky guess." " Funny." "'Cause I got a couple guys working the highway, said they saw him pull in here, carrying a body." "Well, that's ridiculous." "Look, it's a work day." "I got to..." "We just want to take a look around." "You got a warrant, Sonny?" "Well, do I need one..." "Sir?" "Okay, fellas, put the rulers away." "Zip up." "Look, Bobby here's kind of a..." "Crank." "And he ain't what you call a fan of Big Brother." "But me and him... how long I been arresting you now, 10 years?" " Thereabouts." " Yeah, we got a history." "So, what do you say you just let me scope the place out?" "That okay?" "You can just wait outside." "Five minutes." "Great." "Why'd you send him outside?" "'Cause I didn't think you'd want him in here." " I don't." "I've got a body in the basement." " My point." "Yeah, but I've got another body buried in the yard." "Damn it." "He's not there." "Balls." "Mr. Singer, come with me please." "You mind explaining this?" "What, you never had a septic tank explode on you?" "I got it pretty well cleaned up, but watch where you step." "Get back here." "Get back..." "I'm two states over, Bobby." "I can't..." "The okami ain't dead." "Of course it is." " Did you use a bamboo dagger?" " Yeah." "Blessed by a Shinto priest?" "I'm not an imbecile, Bobby." "Did you stab it seven times?" "Five times." "It's seven." "No, I'm pretty sure it's five." "Well, clearly it's seven times." "The damn hole is empty." "What was it feeding on when you found it?" "Single, white females..." "While they slept." "Aah!" "Bobby?" "Where's your bedroom?" "Bobby, I am trying to keep my cool here." "What are you doing in my house with a shotgun?" "Have you see anything... weird?" "You mean besides you?" "Bobby!" "No!" "Look out!" "I, uh..." "I thought your chipper was broke." "I just said that to get you over here." "Oh." "Well..." "I guess I could come over for dinner some night." "Might be fun." "I don't think so." "Story of my life." "Your still alive, huh?" "Don't act so surprised." " How about Godzilla?" " Put her down." "So, you just happened to have a bamboo dagger blessed by a Shinto priest laying around?" "Wood chipper." "Oh, okeydokey." "Wood chipper." "That... that pretty much trumps... everything." "Listen, uh, Bobby, um..." "Thank you." "I screwed up." "Forget it." "I figure I still owe you more than you owe me." "All righty." "Then add one more thing to the list." "I got a lead on your boy Crowley... aka Fergus Rodric Macleod." "Born in Canisbay, Scotland, 1661." "Great." "I don't know what that's gonna get me." "All right." "Well, then, behind door number two, Bob..." "Crowley had a son." "Did he, now?" "Yeah, name of Gavin." "Moved across the pond after his parents bit it and captained a trading ship that went down in Massachusetts in 1723." "A couple of Cousteau wannabes found the wreck about 30 years ago." " They fish out his bones?" " No, no." "They did find his signet ring, though." "It's part of the "Treasures From the Deep" exhibit at the Maritime Museum in Andover." "I need that ring." "Ooh!" "Oh, are you, um..." "you asking for my help, Bob?" "Bobby?" "I'm asking for a ring." "And..." "I'd appreciate your... help getting it." "I'm way ahead of you, brother." "I'm headed for Andover now." "I should be there around midnight." "You're, um... you're thinking hostage exchange, aren't you?" "I mean, get the ring, you can summon junior's ghost." "Get the ghost, you can swap Crowley his son for your soul." "Something like that." "Let's hope that works out." "Dean, you all right?" "Yeah." "Yeah, the Lamia grilled up fine." "I sense a "but" coming on." "It's Sam, Bobby." "He's just... he's different." "You know, and I get it." "You go through something like that, and... and you change." "But..." "Something's not right to me." " Dean..." " I've got a few questions about that year." " When you saw him and I didn't." " Dean, I got another call." " You what?" " Just hang on." "I got to take this." "It's important." "More important than Sam?" "Bobby?" "Rufus?" "The good news is I snagged the ring, Bobby." "However..." " Tell me that ain't..." " Yeah, yeah, yeah." "Three guesses, and one of 'em..." "it ain't the paramedics." " Listen, Bobby, I-I got to stash this ring." " But don't swallow it." "Right." "I'm swallowing it, Bobby." "Don't swallow it." "Ahh!" "Damn it." "Aw, hell!" "Get on the ground!" "Out of the car!" "I know my rights, damn it!" "That is unnecessary force." "You still there, Dean?" "Bobby, what the hell?" "I-I'm sorry." "You know, you are the one person that I can talk to about this stuff... about... about Sam, about leaving Lisa and Ben." "I mean, I don't..." "I don't even know which way is up right now." "Bobby?" "Hello?" "I-I hear you, son." "I-it just ain't a good time." "Yeah, okay." "You know what?" "Forget it." "I mean, I'm baring my soul like a freaking girl here, and, uh..." "and you've got stuff to do." "Well, that is... that's fine." "That's fine, but seriously, though... a little selfish." "Not all about you." "Where's your brother?" "Outside." "Get him." "You're on speaker, Bobby." "Sam?" "Dean?" "I love you like my own." "I do." "But sometimes... sometimes, you two are the whiniest, most self-absorbed sons of bitches I ever met." "I'm selfish?" "Me?" "I do everything for you... everything!" "You need some lore scrounged up?" "You need your asses pulled out of the fire?" "You need someone to bitch to about each other?" "You call me, and I come through... every... damn... time." "And what do I get for it?" "Jack with a side of squat!" " Bobby..." " Do I sound like I'm done?" "Now, look, I know you've got issues." "God knows I know." "But I got a news flash for you." "You ain't the center of the universe." "Now, it may have slipped your mind that Crowley owns my soul and the meter is running!" "And I will be damned if I am gonna sit around and... and be damned!" "So, how about you two sack up and help me for once?" "!" "Bobby, all..." "all you got to do is ask." "Anything you need, we're there." "Hey!" "Got a call from Marcy Ward." "Seems she had a little home invasion." "Told her I'd look into it." "Didn't bother filing a report." "Thanks." "Need a favor." "Luther Vandross turn up?" "Tell him I'm a fan." "His real name's Rufus Turner." "He's being held in Andover, Mass., on a burglary charge." "Need you to get him extradited here." "Extradited for what?" "Murder." "You're not joking." "Do you have any idea what it takes to extradite a prisoner?" "I'd need a court order, permission from the D.A." "I-I would have to call in every marker I got and hand out a few to boot." "So, you're saying there's a chance." "And if by some miracle we can get him here, then what?" "Then your pal's here on a murder charge." "How you gonna to get him out from under that one?" "Let me handle the "B" side." "I like you, Bobby, but this could nuke my career." "Look, I've done a lot for this town... some you know about, some you don't." "And I'm not real good at this whole "asking for help" thing, but..." "I'm sorry, Bobby." "I can't." "Miss me?" " How did you..." " Don't ask." "You got one hour, and then I call the Feds and tell them he busted out." "Thanks." "I lose my job over this, I am taking it out of your ass." "Tell me the ring is still in your stomach." "I'll go boil some water." "What?" "Amate spiritus obscure..." "Te quaerimus." "Oramus nobiscum colloquere..." "Apud nos circita." "Gavin Macleod?" "Is... is this hell?" "That's gonna depend on you." "Are you Fergus Macleod's boy?" "You and me... are gonna have a nice, long chat." "Well, you look like hammered crap." "And you're a vision, as always." "Don't we both know how this game ends?" "Really, Bobby... you got to know when to fold 'em." "Word on the street is, that ever since Lucifer went to the pokey, you're the big kahuna downstairs." " I see you've been reading The Trades." " Trouble in paradise?" "Mate, you have no idea." "I thought..." "That when I got the corner office..." "I thought it was all gonna be... rainbows and two headed puppies." "But if I'm being honest... it's been hell." "Thought that was the point." "You know what the problem with demons is?" " They're demons?" " Exactly." "Evil, lying prats, the whole lot of them." "And stupid." "Try to show them a-a new way..." "a better way... and what do you get?" "Bugger all!" "You know, there's days that I think" "Lucifer's whole "spike anything with black eyes" plan wasn't half bad." "Feels good to get that off my chest." "We should make this a thing." "Do I look like Dr. Phil to you?" "A little." "Anyhoo..." "Obviously not here for a social call, so on with it." "I want..." "Ah." "I'll save you the recap." "In fact, I'll do the shorthand for you." "I want my soul back, idjit!" "Afraid not." "But I'm surly, and I got a beard!" "Gimme!" "Blah, blah, blah, homespun, cornpone insult, witty retort from yours truly." "The bottom line is..." "you get bubkes." "Are we done?" "Just getting started." "Gavin?" "Is that you?" "I-it's... it's been so long." "I love you so..." "Sorry." "Your soul for my boy..." "that's it, right?" "I got to give you credit for thinking outside the box on that one, but problem is, I loathe the little bastard." "You want to torture him?" "Just let me pull up a chair, and I'll watch." "Hell, burn his bones, send him down to me." "We can have a family reunion." "That's right, son?" "You picked the wrong bargaining chip this time, my friend." "He ain't a chip." "I was just using him to dig up dirt on you." "And since Gavin hates you maybe even more than you hate him, he was more than happy to squawk." "What did you tell him, son?" "Everything." "I know it all now..." "Fergus." "Now, you may be king of the dirt-bags here, but in life, you were nothing but a two-bit tailor who sold his soul in exchange for an extra 3 inches below the belt." "Just trying to hit double digits." "So... you got a glimpse behind the curtain." "And?" "And..." "Now I know where you're planted." "Hiya, Crowley." "Dean." "It's been a long time." " We should get together." " Sure." "We'll have to do that when I get back." " Back?" " Yeah." "Me and Sam..." "we've gone international." "In fact, we're in your neck of the woods." "Did you really used to wear a skirt?" "A kilt." "I had very athletic calves." " What's the game?" " Dominoes." "In fact, we just dug yours up." "This is ridiculous." "The whole burning-bones thing..." "I-it's a myth." "I know an employee of yours who'd disagree." "What's that?" "You don't recognize 'em?" "They're yours." "That's where she got to." "You demons." "You think you're something special, but you're just spirits." "Twisted, perverted, evil spirits, but end of the day, you're nothing but ghosts with an ego." "We torch your bones, you go up in flames." "You hear that, Crowley?" "That's me flicking my bic for you." "Your bones for my soul." "Going once." "Going twice." "Bollocks!" "You can go ahead and leave in the part about my legs." "Pleasure doing business with you." "Now, if you don't mind..." "I believe those are mine." "You know, now that I think about it, maybe I'll just napalm your ass anyhow." "Dean... he's a Dick... but a deal's a deal." "I don't need you to fight my battles for me, moose." "Get bent." "Now, if you'll excuse me..." "I have a little hell to raise." "I appreciate you boys lending a hand" "Hey, anytime we get to punk Crowley works for us." "Yeah." "Still, knowing how much you love flying the friendly skies." "I guess a 9-hour plane trip was no picnic." "What'd you do, drink your way through it?" "I was fine." "No, he white-knuckled his way through four puke bags." "Well, at least I was sober." "Some nut-job decided to try something, I was ready." "I had a fork." "Listen, um..." "About the things I said earlier..." " I was in a tough spot, and I-I guess I was..." " You were right, Bobby." "We take you for granted." "You've been cleaning up our messes for years, Bobby." "Without you, I don't even want to think about where me and Sam would have ended up." "Okay, then." "Let's roll credits on this chick flick." "You boys have a safe flight." "And, uh, try some of the local grub." "I hear it's... exotic." "Oh, yeah, no, definitely, we are." "I hear they have an olive garden." "Willis." "Yeah, he is." "One of our best agents, in fact." "Edited by Scooby"