"Since my slumlord story ran, the owner had the furnaces fixed, plus he has hired a guy to take care of the rats" "Must be a great feeling, making people's lives better." "On the other hand, the guy he hired is a mysterious flute-playing stranger." "Have you noticed there are no children left in the village?" "Should probably look into that." "Claire?" "Hello?" "Look, you know, you help people every day." "I listen to people complain about one another every day." "You should hear my group, they're just complaining all day long." "You don't give yourself enough credit." "You give them hope and for that you should be rewarded." "What are you doing?" "A heart?" "Tattoos." "Are we in junior high school?" "I might have to ask my momD." "Branded chicks are very sexy." "From now on, when anyone looks at you, they'll know you're one very taken lady." "I'll see you guys next week." "Okay." "Doctor Wyatt!" "Doctor Allen!" "Congratulations on all your success, my dear." "Thank you, what are you doing here?" "Would you call me Darcy, please?" "You know I wouldn't come to Chicago without dropping in on my star pupil." "Do you have a minute?" "I do, of course." "Are you sure?" "I didn't make an appointment." "No, no, it's fine." "You want some coffee?" "Sure, why not." "You look amazing!" "Tell me, what brings you to Chicago." "I thought you'd never ask." "I'm in town for my book launch." "I hope you'll come, Claire, we're doing it at the Planetarium." "Of course, a new book?" "Well, let me tell you something, after 20 years, I am now ready to reach the masses." "Really?" "How long are you going to be in Chicago?" "Listen up." "It's all in the approach." "A good approach is all you need." "Claire never talks about that." "Okay." "What do you guys do when you spot someone worth spotting?" "Bant your lashes and giggle a lot." "I usually save her life in a really dramatic fashion." "Stock in latex is plummeting.." "Announcing you're really wasted usually does the trick too." "You got your eyes on the prize, very good." "Makes your heart stop, doesn't it, seeing them all helpless like that?" "Knowing all they need is a good man to go in and show 'em how it's done?" "She's probably got a boyfriend." "Would like.." "All women have boyfriends!" "Listen, don't worry about our little game, I'll pencil your average in." "Actually I'm more worried about her laughing in my face." "She's not gonna laugh in your face." "You're a cosmonaut." "Cosmologist." "I study the origin of the universe." "Whatever." "You're the man, you work in a thinktank, you're Ivy League Barbie's dream date." "Which at a bowling alley does me no good." "What's the worst that could happen?" "She says no!" "Get in there!" "Go, go, go." "So, what did she say?" "She said no." "But it went way beyond that." "This ball is lighter, it might help." "Do I know you?" "No, I just.." "You work here?" "Are you a professional bowler?" "Did I miss the sign that says ladies night at Rule Pitching Lanes?" "I'm wearing the latest bowling come-hither attire, it's the shoes." "Did I bring this on myself?" "Am I to blame?" "Hey man, you tried, this is good." "Yeah, well, that's what I keep telling myself." "I totally know what you mean, man." "Sometimes I get so frustrated..." "I feel like giving up on my sex life all together." "Which part?" "Thinking about it or talking about it?" "Gabe, you might wanna be more sparing in your attempts especially if you take rejection so personally." "It's pretty bad to get shot down, but to really hit a decent level of self-loathing, wait until 4 in the morning." "Last call everybody!" "you know, that's where they pinch different parts of your body with those pinchers..." "You're talking to someone you've just met in a bar, and you know the only reason you're there is that you're so lonely that almost any form of human companionship" "..will do." "No, I know exactly what you're saying, that's a great record." "It's a good tune.." "It's not like I get shot down all the time, I go out as much as the next guy." "I'm a cosmologist, it's a more philosophical branch of astrophysics." "I study the origins of the universe." "Posit theories to explain how matter, energy and time come into existence." "What do you do?" "I work at the GAP." "The point is, a rejection is preferable to an actual date." "And I haven't even gotten to the worst part about being single." "Which is: realizing that something I believed in, trusted in, counted on my whole life, is probably a lie." "I mean, you know the lie, we've all heard it." "'There's someone out there for you'." "I may still be hanging on to some faith in that, but" "..barely." "Wait.. an Axl Rose autobiography.." "You've got to be kidding me!" "Is that guy still alive?" "Oh sure, he stole some of those Davy Jones dancemoves he hasn't perfected." "'Cheer up, sleepy Jean'." "Axl:'Oh, what can it..'" "I'm afraid that if I see someone that could be that special person," "I'll be too afraid or too desperate to even speak to her." "And I'll watch the possibilty for love, for happiness, walk out of my life." "For all I know, it's already happened." "Claire, do you mind if I chime in here?" "No, not at all." "People, you're in for an amazing treat tonight." "Dr. Darcy Wyatt is a pioneer in couple's counseling, if anyone can rekindle your faith, it's her." "Well, no pressure there." "I just wanna make sure that I'm hearing you all clearly here." "Educated, intelligent, enlightened, and yet depressed because you're single." "En masse despondency because you're not in love." "Let me tell you something." "A secret that'll make your life a lot better." "And a secret that'll make you realise what strong, independent adults you really are." "Love is entirely unnecessary." "Excuse me?" "What?" "'Love', the love myth is superfluous." "It's a false grail, it's an impediment." "Excuse me, 'love myth'?" "Yes, our belief that love is a magical force that can lift the curse of uncertainty from our lives." "Oh, that love myth." "Oh, by all means.." "Thank you." "Look, gang, you're just sitting around waiting for love to swoop in and rectify all your woes." "I mean, you might as well be waiting on the tooth fairy." "You must've been one hell of a couple's therapist." "Yeah, I was, and after twenty years helping people glean tiny kernels of joy where we were promised we'd find it in abundance, it finally hit me." "It ain't there." "So I wrote a little book about it." "Of course you did." "You don't believe in love anymore?" "Not romantic love." "But that doesn't mean we stop looking, right?" "Because... that's what people do." "That's because Americans prioritize being in love above success, above personal growth, above health." "So let's take a look then, without the pressures and presumptions, what might we want?" "Mallory Bertanelli." "Little mermaid." "World peace!" "Guys!" "Um, I'm gonna pick on.. um you!" "Me?" "Why?" "Because you're our love myth posterboy." "Someone who hasn't yet learned to protect his own feelings." "And I'm supposed to tell you what I want?" "I wanna find someone whose every move is magic to me." "That with everything she does, tells me to forget my fear and.." "I.." "I just... wanna see some of that magic I've always heard about." "Claire, what would you say to that?" "I'd say it's very poetic." "But..?" "But nothing, it happens every day." "But not very likely." "People don't have magic, perfect moments." "There's not that much good lighting in the world." "Of course not..." "We all acquire affection, attachment, sex, you can't ignore the need for companionship." "Agreed." "Companionate love is a necessity, romantic love on the other hand is a luxury." "If you're gonna skip sex, you shouldn't plan on selling too many books there, Doc." "I'm all for sex." "Sex is good." "Hell, sex is great." "Have it a lot!" "Have it wacky." "But keep your companionship and your gratification on separate plates." "You can't ignore a million years of primal impulses, for one pop-psych book everybody." "We have hearts in here, not snow cones." "Historically speaking, almost no cultures ever took romance seriously." "Well, I have it on good authority that the Grecho-Roman types worshipped pretty hard at the temple of Eros." "Out of fear, most likely." "Check your mythology." "Alright." "Eros, who we also know as Cupid, was the least liked of all the gods." "A drunken archer ruining people's lives with every random arrow." "You know, I think what we need here is a little perspective." "What we need is a broomstick-extractor." "Perhaps you'd like to let someone else finish a thought." "Claire?" "Actually, I was going to agree with Trevor." "Really?" "Yeah, well, not about the broomstick-extractor." "Thank you." "About love!" "We all feel frustration.. at times.." "There's a baby in that bathwater." "There are too many benefits to love to just write it off." "And yes, every relationship has its downsides, b.." "Well, if they have any downsides, why take them?" "I don't know, maybe fun!" "Because there's a place inside of us that only intimacy can touch." "Because one is the loneliest number." "To share your joy!" "To share your bed." "And all that sorrow?" "Worth it." "Worth it!" "Well not for me, I'll take a nice hot bath over a bad date anytime." "How do you know it's a bad date unless you go on it?" "Trevor, you're clearly our biggest advocate of love's agenda here." "You must have a passionate tale to tell." "Naturally.." "Uh.." "Okay.." "Um.." "Well, there was this Egyptian enchantress that kept me tied up for a week." "Kinky woman, unrelenting, wicked backhand." "Luckily, we have one of those safewords, so I knew..." "That's sex." "I'm waiting for a lovestory." "Uh.." "Um, one time there was this contortionist, and she could uh.. she would.. wrap her.. uh legs around my neck and wave to me." "You've never been in love.." "Wow.. you argue so eloquently for something you've never felt." "You've lived your whole life without it, and yet you seem pretty self-satisfied." "So, tell us.. once and for all.." "why is love so necessary?" "Goodnight, guys!" "Goodnight!" "I've been roughling the faithful a lot lately." "I have to admit I was a bit thrown myself." "I mean, you taught me everything about keeping couples together." "Where did all this come from?" "Experience.. study.. that's all." "Claire, how could I keep trying to squeeze couples back together again, when I can see clearly they'd be much happier apart." "Why the surprise?" "You and I were always so close in our thinking." "We would look at the same data, reach the same conclusion." "Passion doesn't last." "All I did was follow that reality to its inevitable conclusion." "Well, perhaps you saw something you didn't like and painted over it." "Goodnight." "Hey!" "You're early." "Sorry, we cut the session short." "How are you?" "What are you doing?" "Do you have strippers back there?" "You know, you weren't supposed to be here 'till 9." "I'm sorry." "Yeah." "What?" "So much for the finished product." "Oh!" "Uh-oh." "I was hoping for something a little more swooney." "You slept with my sister!" "What?" "Hired an intern?" "Where are you going with this?" "Alex, what did you do?" "You're overcompensating for something." "What?" "A guy can't do something nice without being suspect?" "A guy - yes." "A boyfriend - no." "What did you do, hmm?" "Okay.." "I have news." "The Times offered me a job." "Oh Alex, that's so great." "New York Times." "Oh.." "Wow.." "My..um.." "My student violence piece got their attention, and they want me on their features task." "But um.." "'make it yours', that was the exact word the managing editor used." "Make it mine, you know, but it has to be there." "Good for you, Alex, that's great." "When do they want you?" "Don't do that!" "Do what?" "Be my girlfriend, not my therapist." "This isn't me being a therapist, this is me putting my best face forward." "So when do they want you?" "Soon." "Are you gonna take it?" "It's hard not to." "Right?" "Yeah." "So then what's the issue?" "You." "Me?" "What, do you want my approval?" "Does my thinking suddenly influence outcome here?" "It might." "It doesn't have to be my call." "Are you asking me something or are you putting me in the decision-making position?" "No, I just didn't want to lay down the law." "So instead you expect me to either move out with you or tell you not to go?" "Claire, this isn't how I wanted.." "And then I can't complain about us being apart because I didn't speak up, right?" "Look, Alex, you wanna protect your feelings by letting me decide, that's fine, but I have to protect my feelings just the same." "I think you should go." "I think you should go." "So looks like this be the bunch." "No reason to cancel." "Not at all." "What'you say, kids?" "Let's talk some romance." "What happened to the rest of ya?" "They were gonna play hooky." "...when I was ten... damn near scared to death of my permanent record." "Ooh, like that thing was gonna follow you to the grave." "Yeah, and then I realized, excuse me, Prince is gonna be looking at this application." "Straight A's, 5010 on the SAT's." "Editor of the yearbook and in 4th grade the famous spitball incident." "Uh-oh." "Mom's home." "Hide the beer!" "We missed you tonight." "Sorry, we were uh..hanging out." "Validating support systems and nurturing lifelong trust-based friendships." "Claire, look, nose-bleed." "That's gross but it works." "I don't know why but it works." "Simethicone." "Reduces surface tension in the bubbles." "Makes 'em pop." "If this was school, your undies would be around your head." "Seriously!" "That's funny." "Get out of here!" "My round!" "Can I get another one..." "Oh, sorry!" "Right on!" "Check my man out with one of the regulars here." "The old 'get-a-beer- spilled-on-you' trick." "We have not lost him yet." "It's okay..." "Oh, your sweater!" "Delivering context..." "Ooh, a nice little touch, make contact, you love to see that." "Say something self-depricating, charming, elicit a flirty giggle, ooh, masterful!" "Can I buy you a drink or something?" "Wait a minute, what do we have here, she's inviting him over, we can rebuild him!" "We can make him stronger!" "Nice!" "...but thanks!" "Wait, no no no..." "What're you doing over here?" "She's wafting her pheromones at you." "Go back over there!" "Wh.." "I'm having a great time." "Come on." "Okay, who wants beer?" "I don't get it, the guy comes to me looking for his better half, right?" "Ten minutes into his self-help book, he'd rather do taxes than stewardesses." "Well how do we justify chasing after something whose absence makes us... funny?" "When did Gabe get funny?" "When he stopped caring who was listening." "Problem?" "You call locking your keys in your car a problem?" "Not after the third time I did it." "I learned a new trick." "Big purse." "You got headphones?" "Yeah." "Great." "James Brown.." "Okay, the nuns taught me this one." "Ah, good old Sister McGuyver." "Very strict and a surprisingly agile hockey player." "Oh, is that a good noise or a bad one?" "I don't know, let's see." "There you go." "Thanks!" "Oh, at this rate my singles group will disappear completely." "You think it's too late to take the L-SATS?" "Oh please, you'll be fine." "Try being the God of an emotion no one needs anymore." "Dad's lucky." "War never goes out of style." "And Neptune... please!" "No one ever says 'water sucks'." "You heard the dragon lady, love is just a well marketed fad about to go the way to the bell-bottom." "Bell-bottoms came back." "Yeah, doesn't make them any more attractive." "Alright, I'm taking off." "Coming here was probably a mistake." "Hmm." "Couldn't go 30 minutes without your better half, huh?" "Gonna go home and get yourself some sweet lovin'?" "For what it's worth." "Wait a minute, do I detect a..." "Trevor!" "Are you guy possibly.." "No!" "Maybe things.." "Ssst!" "not going well?" "Stop!" "A guy breaks into your car, he gets a ride home." "It's a social contract." "I don't know.." "I'm weakening." "Maybe if you offer me candy?" "Hmm.. french toast?" "Gabe Hendros, cosmogenist." "Cynthia Longreaux, leisure Darwinian." "Get in the car." "I'll get the door." "Gotta love diners." "Oh yeah, I'm a firm believer in breakfast all day." "That and free refills are America's two great contributions to western culture." "So, it's not often I get Carl Sagan at a diner." "Tell me, how did the galaxy come into being?" "Big Bang?" "Seven days?" "You want theories?" "I got some theories." "Hmm." "The Samarians said that the earth congealed out of a dirt clod thrown out of a mudwrestling match between Gods." "Tsu-Mash Indians say that the stars are holes poked in a blanket over the earth by the beaks of hummingbirds." "I like that." "Me too." "The quantum guys.. they think the whole mess popped out of a vacuum situation." "And what do you say?" "I try never to divulge private cosmologies to strangers." "Then let's not be strangers." "He didn't even ask for my number." "Could anyone miss a piece of bait that big?" "Maybe.." "Probably was a 2-pound n'crawler." "I'm sorry for unloading all of this on you, I saw the.." "two of you talking, so I just.." "Not a problem, what happened?" "He barely said a word." "Yeah?" "God, feel like I've thrown myself at him, normally I'd take this as a big fat 'no, thanks', and just leave it alone." "But?" "There was something there." "Which brought you here." "Yeah." "You've come to the right man." "Give me a time and a place, I'll have him there." "You have 17 messages." "Oh, don't be Cynthia." "Please don't be Cynthia!" "Can't deal with that right now." "Guess what?" "You've got a date with Cynthia-ya-ya-YA!" "8:30, call me for details!" "Here is the good word, final thing, if you take her..." "Gabe, keeps getting better, People magazine just voted you to sexiest man alive." "Yeah, so chop chop, my man, the paparazzi awaits" "How many times are you gonna call him?" "There's only a fine line between encouragement and legal action." "It's for his own good." "My advice?" "Relax, if it fights you that hard, leave it be." "What if Odysseus said, you know what, forget Ithaca," "I'm just gonna hang out here and eat some lotus." "Then I wouldn't have had to read Odyssee in high school." "I'm glad you read about my people." "They got 11 things wrong by the way, in that one, you should read up." "Gabe!" "Claire?" "Claire...?" "Hmm?" "What is going on in there?" "I'm not really sure." "Let me guess... a man?" "Someone very important might be moving away." "Well then, make him less important." "I'm sorry to bother you, I'll.." "No, Gabe, it's fine." "It's fine, is everything alright?" "Yeah... no." "I don't know." "I think I'm slipping.." "Let me guess, a woman?" "We were supposed to go out to dinner and.." "Is this about what you said?" "Something like the rejection being better than the actual date?" "It usually is." "But I feel like Cynthia could be..." "She could be something special and I.." "I'm sure she is." "Which makes it more dangerous for you to take her out." "Have you ever had your heart broken?" "Have you ever been left?" "Dr. Allen, what do you think?" "I think not seeing her.." "is the only guarantee she won't hurt you." "Okay." "Hey..." "Uh, you know what.." "He would've been here.." "You know, the thing is.." "He's side-track.." "He's derailed!" "Hey Champ, over here." "Thanks for the call, Sean." "So where is he?" "He's in the bathroom." "I've been getting people liquored up professionally, going at 30 years," "I ain't never seen nobody drink so much!" "And I was on the night Ireland beat Italy in the World Cup." "A man does that to his body.." "he ain't human!" "That's his theory." "Told you so." "Oh Trevor!" "That's my hell, man." "You know?" "I mean, imagine.. a world.." "where no one puked anymore, you know?" "Where no one prayed to the forces of god, never ever ever again." "That's my life." "Want to know why, Professor Toilet?" "Because.." "love is obsolete." "Love has been replaced by vibrators and chatrooms, people who make 5 figures, demanded prenups, even if they're destined to be together, doesn't matter, the be..." "I can't tell you how long you'd have to shower before I let you back into my kitchen." "Champoo!" "Look at the Winnie-the-Champoo!" "Come on, let's get you home." "No no, can't go home until I get 200 people together." "People don't want to fall in love anymore." "You wanna know why?" "Because Cupid smells like a urinal cake." "Come on, let's go." "Because love sucks!" "Says so in the book." "'End of an Eros', read up man, it's in the book, so it must be true." "The demise di amore!" "Come on." "D'amore demisey.." "Love is over!" "At least you don't pull that drunk 'I love you man' crap." "But I do, I do though!" "I don't have to say it because I'm drunk though, man." "Let's have a moment!" "Oh god, no." "I love you!" "I love you!" "Hey, look who's still drinking." "Hold on a second." "I didn't relate to my father that much..." "My father... try having an argument with the god of war.." "I'm sorry but.. are you Claire Allen?" "Uhuh." "I don't mean to bother you, but I'm a really big fan of yours." "Of you column." "Well, that's very sweet of you." "Thank you very much." "Listen, I gotta tell you, you really saved me a few years back." "My husband and I were totally on the brink." "I figured if we're fighting this much, skip it." "But then you did that piece where you said something like.." "'when your partner becomes your enemy, look back to your original feelings'" "Anyway we gave it another shot and things worked out." "Pretty nicely.." "Well, I'm glad to hear it." "Hey, ooh, he's precious." "Yeah, thanks." "From your picture I never would've thought of you as the tattoo type." "Is that permanent?" "What?" "Is that permanent?" "Oh uh.." "No." "Well, it was nice meeting you, thanks again." "You too." "(beep) Uh, Claire, hi, it's me." "I know you didn't want me calling, but well.." "here I am.. calling, a little slow in the lurning curve I guess." "I'm calling because it's killing me not to tell you I've been thinking about us, about the whole.. well.." "No, no." "I'm not gonna go on that roundabout." "Especially not on your machine." "I'll just get right to it." "How's this?" "You said you wanted time, take all the time you need." "I'm not going anywhere." "I'm not taking the job." "As a matter of fact, I'm not leaving a 20mile radius of you." "Okay?" "Well.. now you have to call me, right?" "Coming." "Hey." "Hey." "Tell me there's another one of those." "There sure is." "Great." "Is Trevor here?" "What's left of him." "Left of him?" "Did something happen?" "God, that hurts." "What's wrong with him?" "He had some demons to drown last night." "This is his first hangover." "How can I keep throwing up when there's nothing left in my stomach?" "Did you make him some tea?" "Or something he could hold down?" "Come with me." "See that stain on the ceiling there?" "That's how well he held down the tea I made for him." "God.." "Is this a mortality issue?" "Or is tequila the ebola of hard alcohol?" "It's as if there's a trampoline in my stomach, preserved for anyone named José." "Oh, wait a minute, has she been here all night?" "If this is gonna turn into one of those 'we were drunk, it was a mistake'-moments," "I just wish I had some recollection as to how good a mistake." "This was a bad idea." "I'll leave you and your bile alone." "Oh please, you come here just to enduce an aneurysm?" "I came to see if.. if.." "You could overcome that stuttering?" "You may need a scooch more work.. a scooch." "If you would help me." "Help you with what?" "Gabe." "I made a terrible mistake." "Trevor, you said it." "He's found something that's too important to walk away from." "And if I let him do it, I'll never forgive myself." "I'll tell you what, it'd be nice if boy got girl here, but uh.." "we've lost the battle." "He's moving on to a nice, long, evolved life as an uber-single." "That's it?" "Well, that's just dandy, isn't it?" "You're giving up of all people?" "You know what, Trevor, I'm not there yet." "I still think there's a purpose to all the crap you take to make love work." "Call me old-fashioned, call me crazy but you can..." "Are you still talking?" "Never mind." "Thanks for the coffee." "Sure." "Gabe thinks that Cin is with the French guy, and that really gets him riled up." "Because, A, that's his woman, and B, it's a French guy." "So boom, he gets jealous and he takes out the little croissant man." "Take that, you little baguette." "Don't you wear a baret in my house, you little man." "And then they get married and have little olive children that goes plop." "We don't have much to go on." "We've got a girl who is pissed at a guy, who is determined to go nowhere near her," "What else are we gonna do?" "Every five minutes, you're bending over backwards, trying to come up with some new matchmaking stunt." "Don't you have a log or something?" "I like to keep my bendings private." "Sorry." "I do have a few things hidden." "Your filing system, I presume." "Yes, IBM, Mac, you know, who can choose, I can't - so many choices." "Let's see what we got here." "Here we go, right here." "We get them stuck in an elevator and cut the lights off." "Let me make this clear, I'm not doing anything that requires rewiring, or kidnapping, or night vision goggles." "Okay?" "Boring." "Nope, fake funeral." "I got it!" "Shared winning lotto ticket." "That would be lying." "And that would be a problem...?" "Both ethically and professionally." "Why not just poison a shrimp coctail so she has to give him mouth-to-mouth?" "I like that." "Let's try thinking a little less fratprank." "Coc-tail?" "How do you spell coc?" "C-o-c-t.. whatever." "How do we get Gabe to realize he would be happier with Cynthia than without?" "Hit him on the head with a rock." "Something non -lethal, preferably." "Hit him on the head with a rock, lightly?" "If you really were the god of love, the divorce rate would require so much less explaining right now." "Like you're giving him more help." "What're you gonna do?" "Tell him it's all for the best," "'Here's what you do, you must take it in...*snores*'" "I'm a fan of rational thought over a gaping headwound." "I got." "No, you don't." "I might." "You might, but you don't." "Okay fine, forget it." "Alright, okay, I'll be good, what is it?" "Okay, essentially, he is in denial about what wants and needs." "So what breaks attritive denial?" "Crisis, okay?" "Violation of expectation." "Perception of danger." "We have to move them so that all his convenient rational is overwhelmed by the wave of motion." "I'm sorry, did I just hear you advocating passion overriding analytical resolve?" "Scully, are you suddenly believing in aliens?" "No, but I believe in excitation transfers and positive arrousal misattributions." "No idea what you just said, but it just turned me on." "We can agree on things if you just say things that I like." "Just like that." "How is it we're always fighting then?" "Well, you say something, I disagree wittily, and you retort it with a modicum of disdain and then you do a little thrust and then you parry - thrust - parry - parry" " Matthew Perry" " Gaylord Perry -.." "I mean, why Trevor?" "Because we disagree fundamentally on everything." "You do this great little turn with your mouth when you get angry, you go like this." "Can we just stop there while I'm still perceiving that as a compliment?" "Alright.. just.." "What was that thing about.." "wanting to see some kind of magic?" "Magic, you mean like when they made the Statue of Liberty disappear?" "They put the entire audience on a 'lazy Susan', you had the Statue of Liberty right here, and the whole audience went 'honey, where did it go?" "'" "No, he wanted some kind of magic, he wanted to see it." "What Gabe was talking about in the group, what was that?" "Um, silent fears, thousand times, something." "'Every little thing she does is magic'." "'Everything you do just turns me on'." "Right?" "Okay, great, so he bases his romantic yearnings on early Sting lyrics." "Well, the bright side.." "it could be 'Roxanne'." "We could be staking out at massage parlors." "That's not a bad idea." "Alright, now that we've uncovered his inspiration, what do we do with it?" "We give him what he wants." "Thanks for inviting me to Dr. Wyatt's booksigning." "Least I could do after disappointing you like that the last time." "I'm gonna make it up to you in a very big way." "..besides with everything you've been dealing with," "I thought you'd enjoy a trip to the planetarium." "I've never seen it with the lights on, I imagine it's not quite as moving." "When you get a good look at 'em, Gabe, most things aren't." "We should probably get our nametags." "How do you know the author again?" "Uhm, friend of a friend." "We're real tight." "This will be fun." "I wasn't even gonna come, seeing him." "Who needs to feel that dumb twice?" "Want a drink?" "Uhm, no actually.." "Do you salsa?" "I'm kidding you." "Probably no air up on that planet, can't breathe up there." "Look at the trees they made for us, look at that." "Actually, Gabe, there's a very big um... there" "Planet?" "Jupiter?" "Look at the bar, is it open?" "Here you go, grab a couple of these and I'll be back in a bit." "That's actually a hurricane three times the size of earth." "No?" "Three times.. that's something." "You know, we should probably go." "To the planetarium?" "Right, yes." "Okay." "I'll meet you upstairs." "What's wrong?" "Forget it, it was a bad idea." "She said.. we just can't do it." "No!" "No, they're all dressed up, Trevor, you've got the tape." "It doesn't get any more perfect than this." "She's still with the French guy." "Be serious for one minute, please." "If you could be interested for five seconds." "Oh that's very funny, where was all this dazzling witt when Wyatt was kicking sand in your face?" "I was trying to keep your group from going over to the dark side." "We shouldn't be arguing here, your timing sucks." "No, it was actually pretty good, because you can't get a word in edgewise." "We're doing this." "No, we're not gonna do it.." "Let me do it." "I'll do it." "Mankind has speculated on the subject for millennia." "In 7th century BC, it was believed the universe was formed out of love." "I..." "I -push play." "Let me!" "Tell me I get another chance." "Yes." "Who would've thunk it?" "You." "You got that right." "Mhhm" "What is going on?" "Love reborn, sugarplum." "It's like a bad rash." "Can't be stopped." "Goes away, comes back.." "Itches!" "But it's damn gratifying to scratch." "He's gonna get trounced." "Well, maybe." "But our job is to help people deal with emotions, not stifle and devalue them." "Are you saying I don't know my job?" "I'm saying you've taught me a lot." "Oh, can you sign this copy for me?" "Just make it out to love's greatest advocate." "You can sign it 'snowcone'." "You're still sure about this?" "No." "Look, I meant it when I said I'd stay." "I know." "I know you did." "But I also know how important this job is to you." "What about us?" "Us will be fine." "I don't want us to be fine, I want us to be better than fine." "Tell me what it'll take." "A lot." "It'll take a lot." "Make a list." "Calls daily." "I can do that." "Spontaneous flower deliveries the 1st of every month." "Doesn't it lose some of its spontaneity when it's on your calendar?" "Or is this not the question?" "Conjugal visits no less then every six weeks, plus birthdays, holidays,.." "Plus, I reserve the right to get unreasonably upset with little or no just cause or provocation once every two weeks." "You agree to these terms?" "Where does the phonesex fit in here?" "Bonus for after the flowers." "I gotta go." "Okay." "I'm sorry I'm gone tonight." "Expect flowers."