"I'm going down to South Park Gonna have myself a time" "Friendly faces everywhere Humble folks without temptation" "I'm going down to South Park Gonna leave my woes behind" "Ample parking day or night People spouting, "Howdy, neighbour"" "I'm heading on up to South Park Gonna see if I can't unwind" "So come on down to South Park And meet some friends of mine" "Now you be careful, Eric." "The woods can be very dangerous." "Okay, Mom." "Ready to go hunting, Cartman?" "Yeah, my Uncle Jimbo says we got to get up there early." " Right, Uncle Jimbo?" " That's right, Stanley." "Animals are much easier to shoot in the morning." "Here, hon, I packed you some Cheesy Poofs and Happy Tarts." "Don't worry, Ms Cartman, we'll take good care of him." "I brought my old war buddy Ned to keep things safe." "Hello, Mrs Cartman." "How are you today?" "Be sure to use lots of bug spray." "And if you have to poo-poo, don't wipe with poison ivy." "Dude, that's sick, Mom!" "And I know it can get scary up in those woods, but, just remember, Mommy's not far away." "Drive!" "Drive!" "You give your Mommy a kissy." "Drive the car, damn it!" "Drive!" "Don't get scared up in the mountains, Cartman." "Shut up!" "I'm not scared of nothing!" "Maybe your mom can give me a kiss, too, Cartman." "That's disgusting!" "You piece of crap!" "I'll kill you!" "That's the spirit, boys!" "Let's get that testosterone flowing!" "Now, boys, boys, I need to get serious for a minute." "I want you to understand a few basic rules of hunting, since this is your first time." "First of all, don't ever walk with your gun unless the safety's on." "Second, don't shoot anything that looks human, and third, never spill your beer in the bullet chamber." "Uncle Jimbo, we don't drink beer." "You what?" "Oh, yeah, that's right, I don't think eight-year-old kids drink beer." "I like chocolate milk!" "Well, we'll be doing plenty of drinking on this trip." "After all, hunting sober is like fishing sober." "It sure will be nice to get out of the city for a while." "Away from civilisation." "Well, here we are!" "Okay, each of you younguns take a gun, a beer and some smokes." "Hey, I didn't get a gun!" "Sweet." "This is like the gun I used in Nam." "You weren't in Vietnam, Cartman!" "Were you stationed in Da Nang?" "Cartman always makes stuff up, Ned." "You can't believe anything he says." "Hey!" "I'll blow your frigging head off!" "Hey, look out, son, that's dangerous!" "You're gonna spill your beer!" "My Uncle Jimbo says that after this, he's gonna take me hunting in Africa!" "Wow, that'd be cool!" "My mom says there's a lot of black people in Africa." "Boys!" "Lookie there!" "That there's a Rocky Mountain black bear." "One of the few remaining of its kind." "Isn't it beautiful?" "My God, it's coming right for us!" "Hey!" "It wasn't coming right for us." "It was just sitting there." "Not so loud." "Now that there's just a technicality." " What do you mean?" " You see, boys, the Democrats have passed a lot of laws trying to stop us from hunting." "Democrats piss me off!" "They say we can't shoot certain animals any more, unless they're posing an immediate threat." "Therefore, before we shoot something, we have to say," ""It's coming right for us!"" "Wow, you're smart, Uncle Jimbo." "Jimbo, look." "It's a deer." "Looks like about a 46-gauge, Ned." "It's coming right for us!" "Kick ass!" "Did you see that?" "I was imperilled by that ferocious charging buck!" "Rabbit, rabbit, five o'clock!" "Let's move!" "Move!" " Is this hunting?" " I guess so." "Oh, dude, I'm starting to have flashbacks!" " What?" " Danforth!" "Pull up flank, look out for Charlies up in the trees!" "This one's yours, Stan!" "It's coming right for us." "It's coming right for us." " Shoot it, Stan!" " I got your back, soldier!" "I can't." "What the..." "What's wrong with you?" "I don't wanna shoot the bunny." "What the hell are you talking about, you don't want to shoot the bunny?" "You're babbling." "You're not making any sense!" "You're hysterical!" "I'm not hysterical." "I just don't want to shoot the bunny." "No nephew of mine is gonna be a tree-hugger!" "Yeah, hippie!" "Go back to Woodstock if you can't shoot anything!" "I can shoot you, fat ass!" "I can shoot you, too." " I'll kill you!" " I'll fill you full of lead." "Hey, what's that?" "What the heck is this?" "Yeah, Frank?" "It's Randy." "Good." "Yeah, listen, the little needle's moving." "Yeah, it's going back and forth really fast." "What does that mean?" "Let me check." "Yeah, it's smoking." "Oh, really?" "Really?" "Oh, my God, a volcano!" "My wienies won't cook." "This wood won't burn." "Well, Ned, looks like we'll have to use the old Indian fire trick." "Yepper!" "Hey, stop, drop and roll, Ned!" "God damn it, Ned, I just got that van!" "How the hell are we supposed to get home?" "It hurts!" "It hurts!" "Hey, you guys, this works pretty good right now." "But you see, Mr Mayor, you can't stop serving Salisbury steak in our public schools." "What's next?" "Meat loaf?" "We are quite aware of your concerns, Chef, but..." "Mayor, the geologist is here to see you." "My geologist?" "Now?" "Tell him the infection is fine, and I don't need another check-up." "No, Mayor, that's a gynaecologist." "A geologist studies the Earth." "Don't you think I know that?" "How dare you insult my intellect?" "I went to Princeton, for God's sake!" "You get out of my office!" "I'm not in your office, Mayor." "I'm talking to you through a speaker." " Just send in the geometrist!" " Geologist." "You are fired, buddy!" "Thank you, Mayor." "It's been great working for you." "Mayor!" "We have got a very big problem!" "Mount Evanston is about to erupt!" "What does this mean to the town?" "Well, this graph shows everything from normal to bad." "Right now, South Park is here." " My God." " Mayor!" "Some of the schoolchildren are up camping on that mountain right now!" "Oh, this is big!" "Johnson!" "Johnson, are you there?" "You just fired Johnson, Mayor." "I'm his replacement, Ted." "Ted, we have got a major crisis here!" "I want you to get on the phone, and call Inside Edition, Rescue 911 and Entertainment Tonight." "And you better get my stylist on the phone, too." "Don't worry, things are under control." "And then Ned picked up the grenade and boom!" "Blasted his arm clear off!" "We spent three hours looking for that damn arm." "But it was never to be found." "Some say it's still crawling around to this day." "Gotcha!" " That's not scary." " You were scared, Cartman!" "You almost peed your pants!" "Shut up!" "I didn't pee my pants!" "Hey, Ned, hand me that gin." "You boys want to tie one on?" "No, no, thanks, that stuff tastes like pee." " Yeah, Cartman's pee." " Oh, you would taste my pee." "What the hell's wrong with you?" "Can't you handle a little alcohol?" "Christ!" "Look at that little bastard go!" "Now, you see that, Stan?" "Now, that is a dirty little bastard." "Hey, I'm a dirty little bastard, too." "Hey, you guys, I know a scary story." "Shut up, Cartman." "You can't scare anybody." "Oh, yeah?" "Have you guys ever heard of Scuzzlebutt?" "Whattlebutt?" "Scuzzlebutt is a creature that lives up on this very mountain and kills anybody who dares climb to the top." " Why?" " Because it loves the taste of blood!" "And likes to add pieces to its deformed body!" "Deformed how?" "Well, on his left arm, instead of a hand, he has..." " A hook!" " A knife!" "No!" "A piece of celery." " Celery?" " Yes." "And he walks with a limp, because one of his legs is missing and where his leg should be, there's nothing but" "Patrick Duffy!" "Patrick Duffy!" "Damn it, Cartman, that's not scary!" "What do you mean?" "Have you ever seen Step by Step?" "So, he lives alone on this mountain and weaves baskets and other assorted crafts." "They say that on quiet nights you can hear him weaving his baskets." "Cartman, you suck at telling scary stories!" "Yeah, gimme that flashlight!" " What is that?" " Maybe it's Scuzzlebutt, coming to weave us into wicker baskets!" "Hey!" "It might be!" "Gosh, I hope he doesn't cut me with his celery hand." "Screw you guys!" "Go to hell!" "Hey, Ned, why don't you whip out the old cancer kazoo?" "Let's do a little song." "Kum ba ya, my Lord, kum ba ya" "Kum ba ya, my Lord, kum ba ya" "Kum ba ya, my Lord, kum ba ya" "Oh, Lord, kum ba ya" "Someone's crying, Lord, kum ba ya" "They don't think Scuzzlebutt is scary, huh?" "Let's see how they like it when they actually see Scuzzlebutt." "I'll scare the hell out of 'em tomorrow." "Someone's crying, Lord, kum ba ya" "Oh, Lord, kum ba ya" " Stan!" "Stan, wake up!" " What, dude?" "I don't know where Cartman is." "I think something took him away!" "Where's my Uncle Jimbo and Ned?" "They're out fishing with Kenny." "With Kenny?" "But this was supposed to be my camping trip." "Why do they like Kenny so much?" "Doesn't he like me any more?" "Well, Stan, you want to know what I think?" "What?" "What a beautiful morning for fishing." "There's one!" "There's a fish right there!" "Got it!" "Great instincts, boy!" "Uncle Jimbo, Cartman's missing!" " Who?" "The fat kid?" " Yeah." "Oh, hell, I guess we better go look for him." "Ned, we gotta cut it short." "Fire up the 12-20." "Well, I think that's about the limit for our fishing permit." "Man, it smells like dead fish here." "Oh, man!" "That is nasty!" "Yeah!" "I don't think I've ever seen a kid as cool as you, Kenny." "I'm making you my honorary nephew." "The people of South Park are humble and friendly." "But now, a ticking time bomb of hot lava waits to engulf these people and end their miserable lives with one last fleeting moment of excruciatingly painful, burning agony." "Hey, I'm on TV, I'm on TV!" "Mayor, what are you doing to prepare for this inevitable catastrophe?" "All we know right now is that some of our children are camping on that mountain and..." "I'm sorry, can I start over?" "Well, you can edit this, right?" "Ready?" "3, 2, 1..." "All we know right now is that some of our children are up camping on that mountain." "We can't do anything until we get them." "Okay, people!" "Let's go get those kids!" "Come on, everybody, you got to help the children!" "Well, he couldn't have gone far, unless something drug him off." "There's not many animals out today, Jimbo." "Yeah, it's almost like something funny's going on." "Christ, Ned, what'd you have for breakfast?" "I don't know, man, I've got some bad gas." "Wait, there's a ram!" "It's coming right for us!" "Nice shooting, Kenny!" "Here, you need a bigger gun!" " Look!" " I am Scuzzlebutt." "Lord of the mountains." "Behold my Patrick Duffy leg." "What is it?" "Dude, it's Scuzzlebutt!" " Cartman wasn't lying!" " Holy crow!" "We could make a mint killing this thing." "We'll be on the cover of Guns  Ammo." "This calls for some HJ-14." "Those guys are totally scared." "Fire in the hole!" "Holy crap!" "Damn it, I think I missed!" "What the hell is wrong with you people?" "Come on, let's move!" "Move!" "Hey, wait." "Is it on?" "Okay." "Okay, people!" "Form groups and search the mountain!" "Report back here every hour!" "You got that?" "Mayor!" "I might have an idea." "Oh, what?" "If we can dig a very large trench, we can divert the lava into a canyon." "And then it would bypass South Park pretty much completely." "And that would be good, right?" "I'm pretty sure." "Well, what are we waiting for?" "Okay, people, change of plans." "Half of you grab shovels." "These look like his tracks." "He must have gone this way." "Ned, prepare some HK-12 and some Plasticine." "I'll bet that sucker's headed for a higher elevation." "The higher up it..." "Bird!" "The higher up it goes, the better it can breathe." "Look!" "Up there!" "You guys, it's just me." "Are we sure it's Scuzzlebutt?" "Does it have Patrick Duffy for a leg?" "Well, I can't tell." "Let's kill it." "I've got to get out of this stupid costume." "Kenny, you take the front." "No, I can do it, Uncle Jimbo." " I wanna bag that animal!" " That's the spirit, kiddo!" " Let's hunt!" " You guys, you guys, I was just kidding." "As some people of South Park try desperately to save their mountain town, others look for the missing townspeople." "But all must take every precaution necessary." "Okay, people, listen up." "As we near the top of the mountain, the chances of our encountering some lava becomes great." "Therefore, I have special ordered this training film to assist us in volcano safety." "Mr Garrison, if you would, please." "Harbingers of sorrow, natural disasters can be the cause of troubling and undesirable stress." "And a volcano is no exception." "But what should you do if a volcano erupts near you or your family?" "Here we see the Stevens family enjoying a Sunday picnic." "But suddenly daughter hears a noise." "It's a volcano." "Junior seems worried." "But have no fear, Junior," "Jane learned in school what to do when you hear a volcano erupt." "That's right, Jane." "Duck and cover." "So what will you do when you hear a volcano erupting?" "That's right." "Duck and cover." "Looks like you got the idea." "Thank you and goodbye." "Okay, any questions?" "That has got to be the most ridiculous load of pig crap I have ever seen." "That's enough out of you!" "I'm gonna bag Scuzzlebutt, then we'll see who's a little bastard!" "Hey!" "Seriously, you guys." "Kill it, Stan." "Kill it!" "Come on, Stan, kill it!" "Ah, damn it!" "I can't do it!" "You pansy!" "Give me that gun!" " Hey!" " Cartman?" "God damn it, don't shoot me!" "What in the Sam Hill?" "I was just trying to scare you guys." "You can put that gun down now." "So much for the cover of Guns  Ammo." "Yepper." "But I think we've learned some important lessons, Ned." "I think that..." " Holy crap!" " The mountain, it's blown its top!" "Oh, my God, they killed Kenny." "Look!" "The volcano!" "Quick!" "Duck and cover!" "That lava's coming right for us!" "Oh, no!" "Look!" "What the hell is this trench doing here?" "We can't get across!" "It now looks as if the missing children are trapped in the path of hot, nasty lava." "God, please deliver those darling kids from..." "Wait, wait, wait, wait. 3, 2 and 1." "God, please deliver..." "Help!" "Jiminy poke!" "It's the real Scuzzlebutt!" "What?" "Scuzzlebutt's real?" "Oh, my God!" "Look at his leg!" "Hi, kids." "I'm TV's Patrick Duffy." "Quick, Ned!" "Shoot it!" "Oh, no!" "Out of ammo!" "What is that thing?" "That's Scuzzlebutt!" "Yeah, he has Patrick Duffy for a leg and weaves baskets." "This isn't happening." "Everyone look away, please." "Nothing to see here." "Well, boys, I'm sorry I got you all killed." "He built a wicker basket." "Hey!" "He's saving us!" "Scuzzlebutt saved the day!" "And my calculations worked!" "The lava is following the trench into the canyon!" "Where exactly does the canyon go?" "South Park is saved!" "Hey, look, Kenny's okay." "And now these humble people can rejoice and celebrate their jovial victory over nature." "I'm getting word that the chef of the school cafeteria wants to sing a song about this thrilling struggle of humanity." "Oh, baby, every time that we kiss Hot lava" "Every time that we make love That's lava, hot lava" "Lava so hot it makes me sweat" "Lava so warm and red and wet" "Lava" "Mayor, what do you have to say about this wonderful outcome?" "Well, we owe everything to this friendly yet misunderstood creature." "Thank you, Scuzzlebutt." "Friend." "Oh, how sweet!" "I did it!" "I did it!" "I finally killed something!" "Oh, my God!" "What has he done?" "Turn off the cameras." "Hey!" "That was easy!" "No!" "Why, God, why?" "Damn it, Stan, you shouldn't have done that!" " What?" "Why?" " Yeah, make up your mind, dude." "Stan, some things you kill and some things you don't." " See?" " No." "Only now in this late hour do I see the folly of guns." "I'll never use a gun again." "But I just wanted you to be proud of me like you were with Kenny." "But Kenny's dead now, Stan, and you're always going to be my nephew." "And you just can't kill anything." "You understand?" "Dude, I don't understand hunting at all." "Yeah, it's stupid." "Let's go watch cartoons." "Yeah, cartoons kick ass."