"24 WEEKS" "Astrid!" "Your mic's not working." "Hang on." "We did a soundcheck." " Is it working?" "Nice save there." "The cauliflower joke was funny." "And?" " Don't move." "You'll see." "Good luck!" " Oh, great." "Time to go." "Did you go to the bathroom?" " I could go again." "What's up with the mic?" " Astrid Lorenz!" "Good evening." "Thank you." "Astrid Lorenz!" " Thanks, Gerburg." "Thank you." "Thank you." "Good evening." "So..." "Notice anything?" " You're pregnant!" "Exactly!" "I have new shoes." "Pretty neat, huh?" "I couldn't care less what it'll be." "As long as it's a she." "My boyfriend wants a boy." "Great." "So I explain to him:" "boys are lazy." "They can walk at birth, they just won't." "The birth rate keeps plummeting." "Being pregnant?" "So uncool!" "People understand "burnout" or "Alzheimer's", but "I'm pregnant" is like saying," ""I'm moving to North Korea" or "I'm joining ISIS"." ""Pregnant?" "!" "Will you recover?" "!"" "Why bother getting pregnant these days?" "You can download kids, right?" "But, hey, listen up:" "A kid ain't keeping me off the stage." "You can tell a decent joke and lactate!" "This way." "Car 8, right?" "Mommy!" "Oh, shit!" " I'm coming up!" "Stop, Nele!" "Nele!" "I'm gonna get you!" "I'll make it really high." "And then you can sleep there." " With my little brother." "Or your little sister." "I don't want a sister." " No?" "No." " Why not?" "I'd rather have a boy-girl." " A boy-girl?" "We'll put it here and it'll be like a huge treehouse, but on stilts and not in a tree." "A stilt-house." ""It always surprises me how you make me and so many others laugh." "Your hair is stunning." "Which shampoo do you use?" "I've heard that you're a managar." "Markus Händler..."" "My managar." " Manager!" "And I'm Markus Häger." "It's not that hard to read." ""...so wonderful..."" "What?" ""I'm not embarrassed to..."" " No, not the part about the genitals!" "This guy here says, "You're the best stand-up comedian... there is out there."" "He wonders when you'll announce your new program." "Is that so?" " Yeah." "He wants to know." "Lots of people do." " Look!" "Great!" " Like Spiderman." "It doesn't work like that." " I know." "But we have 36 shows booked next year." " Really?" "Awesome!" "It is, but they want a new program." " You don't get it." "Watch out!" "You're squashing the baby." " Sorry!" "Sorry." "It's okay." "If we wait for the perfect program, we'll end up living in our hammocks." "And in our treehouse." "Are you ready?" "We should get going." "You're no good at this." " That's what Nele always says." "You haven't cut this one in a while." "Thank you." "What is it you do again?" " I do feet." "She only mentioned vanilla sugar." "Her special tip." " Vanilla sugar?" "I didn't try that." "I used cane sugar." "White or brown?" " Brown." "And what did you serve it on?" " Pancakes." "Did they turn out firm or fluffy?" " Really firm." "You're stuffed after one." "With organic apple-mango syrup." "Hello." " Hello." "Hello." "The test also showed it's a boy." "Down's Syndrome varies a great deal." "It affects children differently." "Some have severe Down's, others have a very mild form." "How... sure are you?" "Not 100 percent sure. 98 percent." "In Germany, there's also the option of a late-term abortion." "Theoretically, until the end of the pregnancy." "Would you like to call in your assistant?" "Why?" "You could bake the pancakes here." "With cane sugar, vanilla sugar." "Let's have a pancake party!" "With whipped cream from Safeway." "That's my special tip." "It's delicious!" "Then stuff the pancakes into your assistant's mouth until she explodes!" " Astrid!" "Hang on, will you!" "I took a drag on a cigarette at Simone's birthday party." "And?" "I think I had a sneaky one with Beate too." "That doesn't affect our child's chromosome count." "What are we going to do?" "I'll buy two pieces of Danish." "One for you, and one... for you." "And then..." "We'll sleep on it, together, and..." "Then we'll cancel your show." "I've been with my boyfriend for eight years." "And as you can see, I'm putting him to good use." "But times are tough, you know?" "The hair on his head is disappearing and reappearing on his back." "A lot of men have this problem." "How about you?" "Is that a wig or a hair piece?" "Wig?" "Good job." "No, don't answer." "I see you..." "Everything's... just fine." "Thank you." "Ladies and gentlemen, Astrid Lorenz!" "Astrid Lorenz." " Thank you." "Thank you." "Would you take that for me, Barbara?" " You were great." "No!" "Marco!" "No way!" "Smoking?" " Just sucking." "I have to go see my mom." "There you are!" "Did you like it?" "It was great!" "But different somehow." " Really?" "Yep." "I wanted to show you something." "I just tried it out." "A little cut on the left and right." "Bingo." "Get your nose done too then." " Beauty tips!" "Any tips for me?" " Oh, yeah." "I'd start with your hair." "By the way: a bit overdressed, but real funny, as always." "Abdel, dude!" "Did you mean that?" "Your eyes..." "I meant it." " Those rings around your eyes..." "What about them?" " You look stressed out, my child." "Let me take off those earrings." "It's okay, I can do that." " What's up with you?" "I don't..." "What?" "I just had a show." "No, something's up." "I notice these things." "I know when you..." "Tell me, Astrid." "Mom, what do you want to hear?" " Beate, want to meet Basti?" "Pastewka?" "He's upstairs." " Really?" "I can introduce you." " Sure!" "You know him as well." " Mom's here too." "Think he'll be able to clean up his room on his own?" "Eat by himself?" "Shower?" "Go to the bathroom?" "Or do they wear diapers?" "Oh, Mom, hurry up!" "She's started gabbing again." "Unbelievable." "As a kid, I used to play with a downie." "Really?" " Yes." ""Downie"." "Is it okay to say that?" "Sure." ""Mongo" isn't okay." "Unless you're the parents, of course." "What will he look like?" "Probably a bit like you." "And a bit like me." "Just with Down's." "Can we handle it?" "I loved the Honecker-Ulbricht jokes my dad used to tell." "Life was funnier before the Wall came down." "You're from the GDR: are you a nudist?" " Always." "Today's an exception:" "my manager said I couldn't... turn up naked." "Well, what a pity!" "It would've been wasted on radio anyway." "Let's come back to your maternity leave." "You're expecting your second child." "How do you organize life with two kids?" "Always on the go, from one stage to the next." "How can you be the mom you want to be?" "Say something in English." "A somersault!" " Stop it!" "Nele..." "Daddy should do a somersault." "Do the forward roll again..." " She'll kill herself!" "Hey, gals." " Hi." "What happened to you?" " Don't ask." "Everything okay?" " Everything's fine." "I'll pick her up at the museum tomorrow." " Perfect." "Ciao." "Ciao." " Have a nice evening." "And..." "Didn't you want to jump?" " Yes, I did." "But?" "Chickened out, I guess." "How old was I?" "Two." " Two?" "And that big?" "I don't want to..." " Just wait and see." "No." "Sorry." "I have to take this." "Come on, now." "Come." "Sounds good, huh?" " Get off me, Mom!" "Hello." " Hi." "We didn't want to interrupt." "Hi." "Sorry." "Astrid Lorenz." " Hello." "Hi." " Introduce yourselves to our visitors." "How's your child?" " Good." "Great." "How many months is it?" "Four months." " Months?" "What a lovely belly." " And when will you have the child?" "In five months." " Another five months until it comes out?" "Five months of curiosity." "The two of us." " With me?" "Are you pregnant too?" "You sing great." "Are you pregnant too?" " Where's Nele?" "Am I that fat?" " I overeat sometimes too." "Real guys have bellies." "Exactly." "It's technology." "It drives us mad." "I know how it feels." "All that radiation around us." "It's changing us." "And that's why these things happen." "Come with us." "Don't worry." "Come on." " Come on, don't be scared." "Don't worry." " Come on." "Feathers fall to the moon On Mirror Lake" "Some brush against your skin As they float by" "Over ditches and rooftops" "You clamber and smile all the while" "Feathers fall to the moon" "Soft snowflakes cover you As you reach the stars" "Come and dance!" " Come and dance?" "Okay!" "Floor it!" " I'm not letting him in!" "Your driving sucks!" "Watch out!" " Are you nuts?" "Shit!" "What were you thinking?" " I thought you'd already stopped the car!" "Oh, shit." "Doesn't look good." " Not good at all." "Are you getting out?" " Oh, no." "He looks like trouble." "Okay, I'll sort him out." "Have you been drinking?" "This isn't a stage, Ms. Lorenz!" "What's that look for?" "What are you laughing at?" " What are you looking at?" "Go lick yourself!" " "Go lick yourself?"" "I slowed down at the crossroads to give way to the traffic..." "Why did you slow down?" "You crossed three lanes without signaling..." "I did not!" "I gave way." " There was nothing coming." "Back off, please." " He crossed three lanes..." "He hit the brakes for no reason." " Just get a grip!" "What did you say?" " I'll be right with you, okay?" "You're acting like we caused the accident!" "It's a bit weird..." " My wife is pregnant." "You've got it all under control, huh?" "Are you messing with me?" " No." "It was just a question." "It sure felt like it." "It's gonna cost you!" "A lot!" "That's for sure." " My neck's hurting." "Hey, you." " Yes." "I think Karl's a nice name." "Are you proposing now?" "Moritz." " Moritz?" "Loud and clear." "He wants to be called Moritz." "Moritz." "I like that." " Yeah?" "That's my daughter." "Let me through." "Are you okay?" " Yes." "See for yourself." " And the baby?" " Yes." "Your daughter?" " We were lucky." " Yes." "Nele." "I have to tell you something." " What?" "Your little brother or sister..." "The baby has Down's Syndrome." "You know what that means?" "Like the people we met today." "He will be real special." "And talk and behave differently to you." " I'm here for you." "Come here." "I knew something was up!" "Well, it's a lynx." "When did you find out?" " A week ago." "Spot on!" ""The strong are stronger than their bitter losses."" "Fortune cookies!" "The birthday boy can choose his own fortune cookie." "Thank you." " You're so welcome." "Thanks." " And you guys, via air mail..." "ME 1100!" "You don't even like them." " Michael!" "Excellent." "Excuse me!" "Finally!" "Hello." " I didn't think you'd make it." "Thanks for coming." " I didn't wrap it." "That's a good wine." " Reinforcements." "Astrid wants to say something." " Don't worry: not a speech!" "We wanted to take this moment to tell you something important." "You're finally getting married." " Dad!" "No, we wanted to tell you that our child... is a boy." "Oh, that's great!" " Yes..." "And he has Down's Syndrome." "Oh, fuck." "Just shoot if you have questions." "Well..." "Well, congratulations!" "That's great!" " What's great about it?" "They're open, warm people, with such a zest for life." "It's... great." "Do you remember the little boy you used to play with?" "He was so good at math." "A real whizz." " That's true." "What was his name?" " Brownie." "Downie Brownie." " Yes... "Brown" was his last name." "We knew one once who became a train conductor." "A speech therapist friend of mine who works with Down's kids." "Thanks." " Give him a call." "He knows his stuff." "Will do." " Thanks, Paul." "And how will you manage?" "Will you be able to handle it?" "Well... we won't manage everything." "But we want it and..." "You guys are on the road all the time." " But we love stress!" "Maybe it'll be a good thing." "You'll both work a bit less." "You'll manage and you've always got Kati." " Exactly." "Obviously we'll pay you more for the extra work, Kati." "I can't." "I have too much work for school." "How's it supposed to work, Astrid?" "Well..." "I don't know yet." "Learning by doing, I guess." "It's fine with Nele, but..." "A kid like that is a full-time job." "If anyone can cope with it, you can." "I just don't get it..." "I can't imagine anyone more suitable than you." "Because of your brother, you know..." "That's totally different..." " I just wanted to say." "No, Astrid!" "Astrid!" "I can't!" " You wouldn't be alone." "We're here too." "You can't make me do it." " Just listen to me." "So we have a disabled child now..." "What's the problem?" " It's just gross!" "Sweet little blonde fascist, huh?" "I think it's gross too." "Great." "One child's disabled, the other's a fascist." "Nele!" "Nele!" " I don't want that disabled kid anymore." "Nele..." "I thought you'd be here." "Did you sleep well?" " Yes." "Come here." "Come to Mommy." "Come to Mommy." "Everything's fine." " Yep." "You've changed so much." "You know..." "I had to be a good girl for so many years." "I never felt liberated by Dad's death." "Markus and I were wondering whether maybe... you'd move in." "Well..." "But I live so far away." "And I have my own house to look after." "Nele would be so happy." "You'll manage." "You're a big girl." " Yeah, yeah." "You know, I told Markus there was probably no point asking you." "Put your hand on it." "Up here." "I'll get cut." " So I can saw it off." "Right here..." "Or shall I leave it on?" "Okay." " Leave it on." "You should write about me again." "People love those jokes." "Put more soil in there." "Mom, you're my last resort." "The last time you did, people asked me in the break," ""Is that really true?" "It's you!"" "I was in the audience." "I could see they loved it." "Oh, God!" "You know what, guys?" "You are so damn lucky that your baby's a Downie." "Have you lost it?" " Because if not..." "I wouldn't be moving in!" " Yeah!" "Did you just say "Grandma"?" "I'll give you Grandma!" "Come here, you!" "Come to your darling, favorite..." "She'll be around all the time now." " Come here!" "How dare you..." "Come here!" "Awesome, Grandma!" " Don't you start too!" "She said "second floor", didn't she?" "But there's nothing here either." "I think it's this way." " Maybe it's here." "Okay, so..." "Yes, that's his head on the left." "Normal amniotic fluid levels." "The placenta is attached to the back wall." "His bottom is down here and his thigh is there." "Ah, here you can already see the male genitals lighting up." "The thigh..." " "Lighting up"?" "Exactly." "That's what I said." " A beacon!" "You..." " Pretty big, huh?" "But you shouldn't get your hopes up." "Then here we have his little head." "The kidneys." "The bladder is full." "Mine too." " And..." "I can't really see his little heart yet." "His back is..." " He's moving too much." "Yes, and he has his back to us." "Could you turn over?" "Okay." " To the left a bit." "Like that." " That's great." "Stay in that position." "Okay..." "It's very fast, isn't it?" "I'll take a closer look." "Is it too fast or too slow?" "Just give me a moment and then I'll explain." "If you could just keep still, that'd be great." "Oh, sorry." "...pumps blood to the lungs." "And on the left is the left atrium, the atrium mitral valve, and then the left ventricle, which pumps blood into the artery." "And this here confirms the diagnosis:" "There is a hole in the interatrial septum." "Here." "This area here is sharing a heart valve." "And there's a big hole in the ventricular septum and the interatrial septum." "In the lower area, we'd take Gore-Tex fabric and we'd use a Gore-Tex patch to construct a new ventricular septum." "And up here, we'd use our own pericardium, treated with glutaraldehyde." "And then we'd be able to seal this hole." "Not right away." "Not with newborn babies." "We wait until the baby is four months old and weighs between 9-11 pounds." "So, I'll put it in my own words:" "there are two holes, which can be repaired." "Exactly." "If both ventricles are large enough." "That's the requirement." " If both what?" "Both ventricles, both chambers." "Are big enough." "Then we can repair the heart." "The operation is a complicated procedure." "When the baby's..." " Are they large enough?" "Not yet, but we can't say for sure right now." "We think the left chamber is smaller." " Will that make the operation harder?" "More complicated?" " Of course." "We would have to operate when the child's one week old..." "One week old?" " One week old." "What would the operation involve?" "It would be major, open-heart surgery and we'd stop the heart." "First, we'd have to open up the chest wall." "We'd cool the heart." "Then we'd stop the heart." "And then..." " "Open up"?" "What do you mean?" "We'd have to saw it open, open it up..." "Saw it open?" "But it's tiny." " Saw it open." "We have to, unfortunately." "It's bone." "And you have to saw through bone..." "We don't need all the details." "It's an operation you do regularly..." "I have to know what'll happen to the baby." "If it'll be taken away after birth." "But it still has time to grow, if I understood correctly?" "Exactly." "If both ventricles..." " But whatever happens, you'll operate?" "Correct." " You'll definitely do one operation." "But maybe you'll have to do several operations." "And the first operation will be done soon after it's born." "Am I right?" " Yes." "And to do the operation, the child..." "What did you say?" "Its heart has to be stopped." "So, it'll be put to sleep, or what?" " Exactly." "You see?" "You have to ask..." " But we've been doing this for decades." "But do we need to know everything?" " Putting the child to sleep..." "Do you really want to know the details?" "I'd like to know precisely what we can do." "Nothing." "That's the first thing you should know." "You can't do anything to change it." "There are no procedures or medication." "We'll just keep track of developments." "And let nature take its course." "That's it..." "But, please, don't start to question the decision you've made." "What do you mean?" "The decision to have your child, despite the trisomy 21." "You shouldn't doubt that decision." "But... it's important to remember that this burden, and the care these children require, that this will be with you for the rest of your lives." "That said, it will sometimes be a burden and sometimes a joy." "Sure, but ultimately you still have a child with a heart defect." "Even if the operation goes well." "But we don't know how the ventricles will develop." "One is okay, one is half-okay." "There's the question mark." "And that's a matter of fate." "That's just fate." "Yeah, I know." "It's not your specialist field, huh?" "Could you explain it a bit to me anyway?" "Yeah, sure." "All the more for Astrid." "It's just a lot to deal with." "No, I know that, but it'll still be so tiny." "Sorry." "It's just so tough." "Yeah, let's get some shut-eye." "Okay, sleep well." "Thanks." "Paul says hi." "It had to be the heart." "But it's an organ like any other." "Liver, kidneys, heart..." "It makes no difference." "Paul says Kostelka is an excellent doctor." "I really have to go to the bathroom." " Okay." "Back in a sec." "My sweet little baby." "Here's something on the Association of Disabled People, and on self-help groups, on inclusive childcare facilities." "And here's a brochure from the Ramba Zamba Theater in Berlin." "Thank you." "Bye." " You're welcome." "Bye." "A late-term abortion..." "What exactly would it involve?" "You're given a drug to start contractions." "And then labor is induced." "After the 24th week, the child would also... be given a potassium chloride injection, in the heart." "Then it dies..." " Thanks." "I didn't want that much detail." "Bye." "I didn't hear you." "We were too loud." "Thank you." "Can I have some salt?" " You had loads already." "You used it three times." " Give it here." "Give Mommy the salt." "There you go." "Can I be excused?" " Are you full already?" "You hardly ate." "Stop that please, Nele." "That's annoying, Nele." "Thank you." "Have you two considered... not having the child?" "We considered it and decided against it." "You'll have a lot to deal with." "It's a different situation now." "What's different?" " Go to your room, please." "Why?" " It's half an hour past your bedtime." "It's 8:30." " Really?" "8:30 already?" "Time to go." " Off you go." "Thank you." "Brush your teeth." " Good night." "I thought you were here to support us." "Yes, exactly." "And I am." "I just think that... maybe you have to admit that you're not strong enough." "We're not strong enough?" "I just thought that maybe..." " We are strong enough." "We are." " I'm sure you'll manage it, but maybe..." "You could just reconsider all the options." "I'm not criticizing you." "I didn't think you were." " Forgot to put it on the table..." "No one's forcing you to have these children nowadays." "We've reached our decision." "You won't change our minds." "We've decided." "Both of you?" " What?" "Just keep out of it, okay?" "Like you did when Dad was dying." "I'm used to that." "I can handle it better." "Want some more?" "The shower doesn't seem to work." " Use that one." "Astrid Lorenz!" "Imagine meeting you here!" "I think you're awesome." "Are you a colleague of Astrid's?" " No, I'm a friend." "I'm a mother." "That interview with Lanz last week..." "He's a bit weird, isn't he?" "You did great, though." "Could I use your shower gel?" "Thanks." "I heard about your child and I'm really sorry." "It's not easy, huh?" " How did you hear?" "It was on the radio earlier today." " On the radio?" "Where's Ms. Liberta?" "She's recording..." " I know where to find her then." "Stop." "Stay here." "No!" "Listen to me..." " What the hell?" "You can't go in there." "Listen to me!" "Was it you?" " Excuse me!" "We're recording here." "One moment, Mr. Kretzschmar." " How did you know?" "What are you talking about?" " What you said in your show." "That wasn't my show." "I heard it this morning." "But it has nothing to do with me or the station." "Godje, a glass of water might help." " Yes, I'm so sorry." "Let's go now." "Some water?" "Of course we'll issue a statement." "No, print first." "It's less of a strain on Astrid." "Are you crazy?" " Hang on." "We have no choice now anyway." "Shit!" "No one can force me!" "Honey, then they'll go and write whatever they want again." "It's better if we stay on top of it all." " I'll deny it." "We'll take them to court." " That makes no sense!" "When the baby's here, everyone will know anyway." "Yes..." "Are you still there?" "Okay, I'll call you back in a minute." "No, I'll do that myself." "I'll call you back in a minute." "Bye." "I went to a counselling session." "And?" "I wanted to find out what would happen... if I had an abortion." "Why didn't you talk to me about it?" " I didn't want to unsettle you." ""Unsettle"?" "That unsettles me!" "Can't you talk to me anymore?" " Sure." "Yes!" "I didn't force you to do anything." " Of course not." "But we reached the decision together." "We did..." " Can you not make so much noise?" "I'll be up in a minute." " Go back to bed now." "Does Beate know?" "No." "Well, she does now, but I didn't mention it before." "I don't believe it!" "You talk to your mom about it, but not to me!" "Quit dragging my mom into this!" " We want this child, don't we?" "Don't we?" "Markus, I just said it to give you..." "Don't smoke in the house!" " Sorry!" "I just forgot." "My God..." "It was a test run, okay?" "And it just didn't work out." "I just tried to give you two a different perspective on things..." "It's better if we get someone with experience." "I'm sure you agree." "It's like you're negotiating a contract." "Ah, I'm glad you're here." "You should be part of this." "You talk to my mom on your own but accuse me of going behind your back!" "I just think..." " It's true, isn't it?" "A third opinion just confuses things." "Don't you want my mom here?" "Her moving in was your idea!" "I was just asking Beate if she wouldn't mind if..." "Ask me if I mind, okay?" "We could use some professional help." "What is it with him?" " I shouldn't be here..." "I want you here, Mom!" "Or I'll let a few comedians go." " You're good at letting people go, huh?" "My mom is staying." "Period." "Maybe it's not such a bad idea." "The two of us are always fighting!" "No, Mom!" "It's got nothing to do with you." " And always in the same space!" "Hello." "Hello." "Thank you." "Next up we have a female artist, which I'm particularly pleased about." "Because I love having women on set." "Two of our producers are women." "And I like women." "But there aren't many on the show." "He didn't get your name." "Time to go." "But this woman knows what she's doing." "Please welcome Astrid Lorenz!" "Now just calm down." "Just take a deep breath." "We really don't have time for this." "Go back out!" "I'm here." "Leave her." " Sort this out!" "I can't do it..." " You don't have to go out there." "She's not going back out." " What?" "She has to!" "But she signed a contract!" "Have you completely lost it?" "She's just walked out." "This isn't good, Markus." "We have to talk about it some..." " Not now, okay?" "What exactly are you waiting for?" "I don't want to discuss our future in the middle of the night on a construction site." "What if I want to?" " Okay, if you want to..." "Then we'll do what you want, as usual." "Okay, so what would it involve?" "Theoretically, I mean." "In the sixth month." "I'm just scared that... it'd always be on our minds." "That we wouldn't be able... to put it behind us, you know?" "I understand." "I feel even closer to it." "I feel it move every day." "I just feel like we'd be guilty of something." "What's with the Christian guilt thing?" "That's not like you." "I don't mean it like my father." "Not in a Christian way." "Well, maybe it is a Christian thing." "I don't know." "But if we did it, we'd be deciding whether a human being lives or dies, and it feels wrong somehow." "But it can't decide for itself, so we have to decide for it." "It's hard to explain, but I just feel like it's our job." "To learn how to deal with it." "That it's somehow... it's fate." "That one?" " That too." "You look pretty smart." "So do you." " Show me." "No matter what you wear, it's a hopeless case." "The lighting in this ward is a bit dark, but don't be alarmed." "We're trying to replicate the darkness that the babies are used to in the womb." "So we've used the colors they'd see in the uterus." "And it distracts from all the noises you hear on an intensive care unit." "It makes everything a bit cozier and more pleasant for the preemies." "Will our child end up in one of those?" "It will probably need an incubator." "It's easier to keep an eye on the baby." "At the beginning it's easier to look after a baby in an incubator." "Here are the rooms for the babies who are more seriously ill and need more intensive care, or were born very prematurely." "So it's important that the moms and dads..." "Two moms, right?" " Yes, why?" "Just an observation." " Well, everything's possible." "And here are our delivery rooms." "Your child will come into the world here too." "And if all goes well, after the birth..." " Where's the bathroom?" "Right by the entrance, on the right." "If all goes well, it can stay with you for a while after the birth." "Depends..." "Let's put her back in." " Hello." "When was she born?" "When was she born?" " Two months ago." "All done?" "Has she had surgery?" "Yes." "She's had one operation, but she'll need a few more." "You can touch her if you like." "How?" " Hang on." "Maybe..." "Here." "And then just..." "How far along are you?" " Six months." "Oh, here you are." " Yes." "My boyfriend." " Hello." "Hello." "I think it's great you've made the same decision as we did." "I read about it and I think it's just great that you're talking openly about it." "That you're brave enough to have a disabled child." "So many women face this decision and you're a real role model..." "Maybe we should go..." " What if I don't want the child?" "If I can't go through with it." "Markus..." " Let it all sink in a bit." "Calm down." "No need to rush to conclusions." " Stop it!" "I feel like I meant what I said just now." "But you just saw that it's possible." "The baby was fine." "I don't know what you just saw." "It didn't look fine to me at all." "How do you know how it feels?" "Maybe it's suffering terribly." "It looked like it was really in pain..." " You don't know that!" "Neither do you!" " No, I don't!" "I'm scared too." "But stop letting the fear get to you!" "Stop thinking you know what everyone feels and what's best for them!" "On stage you always say, "Stand by your convictions."" "Where are you going?" "Please come with me." "You wanted an appointment right away, Ms. Lorenz?" "Yes, it's important for me to discuss this right away." "Are you feeling more open to the idea now?" "No, actually." "She has these days sometimes where she just needs to take a deep breath and let the storm pass by and then everything will be fine." "I just have this feeling he's not even trying to understand how I feel." "I am, but I don't get it." "I hear what you're saying, but..." "But I..." "I just want to take a look at all the options again... together, without any pressure." "We can do our very best to make sure the child has a good life." "But you can't dictate everything!" "That's what you're doing:" "dictating whether our baby lives or dies." "To get through this as a couple, you have to stop attacking each other, but still be honest." "Okay, let's be honest then." "Okay?" "This is why she doesn't want the child:" "besides her other excuses, she's worried about her damn career." "This may sound a little harsh:" "Ultimately it's your wife's decision." "That's the law." "We don't care about the law." "The law!" "It's my child too and I'm also responsible." "Yes, but..." " No buts!" "We decide everything together." "Is it your decision or our decision?" "It's ours." "Or not?" "Is it yours or..." " It's mine." "Mr. Häger, please control yourself!" " What?" "Markus, leave her alone!" " Are you okay?" "You should..." "Okay..." "Mom!" "Where are you going?" " Go back inside, Nele." "No!" "What's going on?" "Why are you taking a suitcase?" "I'm just having a few tests." " You never tell me anything!" "Why do you have a suitcase?" " I told you!" "Hey..." "Give me the key." "I'll be back in two days." "But the suitcase..." " It's cold." "Go inside now." "But, Mom!" "Why do you and Dad never tell me anything?" "Go inside, Nele." "Your brother's really ill." "His heart isn't okay." "And..." "It's not like yours." "It has a hole in it." "It's not pumping enough blood around his body." "Sometimes nature does stuff like that." "I don't think he'll have a nice life." "Nele." "Want some scrambled eggs?" "I'll make some." "Thank you." "Go on now." "Go inside to Dad." "Hello, Ms. Lorenz." "Dr. Berrached." "I'll be looking after you, Ms. Lorenz, and will carry out the procedure." "We have to take into account that you're 24 weeks pregnant, so we're talking about a child that weighs 1.5 pounds." "So we can't carry out a standard termination because it's extremely likely that the child will be born alive." "The procedure involves injecting a drug into the child, which stops its heart very quickly." "And then after that, we'll induce the birth." "A needle is injected into your belly, like when you have an amniocentesis." "Hello, this is Markus Häger's business number." "I'll call you back ASAP." "Do you remember my show at the Pepper Mill?" "It was pouring with rain outside." "You were in the audience with maybe seven other people." "I twisted my ankle in my high heels while walking off stage." "Boy, did I curse!" "But you just clapped on like crazy, as if it were all part of the program." "You were backstage and looked into my eyes." "While you were standing there, I so wanted you to ask me..." "I'd have done it in an instant." "Married you." "Good morning, Ms. Lorenz." "Morning." "You can just leave it there." "Take the pills afterwards." "Good morning." " Good morning." "Can I sit down here?" " Sure." "I'm Yvonne, I'm a midwife and I'll be caring for you over the next few hours." "Have you done this a lot?" " Not a lot." "But a few times." "And the women you've cared for..." "How..." "Afterwards..." "How did they deal with it?" "It varies a lot." "It depends on whether you're able to let go." "What happens to the child afterwards?" "I'll lay the baby on your chest, so you can say goodbye." "I definitely don't want that." "I think it'd be important for you." "I'd rather say goodbye to my child beforehand." "I'll do it beforehand." "The baby will be here for another 24 hours in case you change your mind." "I'll also take some photos and make some foot prints." "I'll put them in an envelope and you can decide if you ever want to open it." "But we won't be able to bring the baby back." "Is it moving?" " Yes." "I've been trying so hard the whole time not to feel it moving." "Maybe it's trying to say goodbye too." "You think so?" " And to tell you that it's okay." "What would you do in my position?" "It's impossible to know until you're faced with the decision." "No one can make it for you and no one should judge you for it." "I wish I could have decided differently." " I believe you." "But I just couldn't." "I can't." "Maybe I'm not strong enough." "You are incredibly strong." " Or maybe I'm too scared." "I just hope I'm doing the right thing." "For the child." "For all of us." "I'll see you in the delivery room." " Okay." "How are you?" "How long are you staying?" "Until the end." "I'm doing it for me as well." "It's not just for the child." "It's for me as well." "I don't want to live like..." " It doesn't matter why." "You can't do it." "Nothing else matters." "Hello." "Professor Gerber." "If you could just lie down here, please." "Here, please." "Move over a little." "Move to the side a bit." "A bit more." "I'll need your arm in a moment." "Now clench your fist, please." "This might feel a bit cold." "Now you'll feel a little prick." "All done." "Hello, Ms. Lorenz." "Berrached." "Are you ready?" "I need to ask:" "Do you still want to go ahead?" "Yes." " Okay." "I'll do an ultrasound first, just to see if everything's okay." "You don't have to look at the screen now." "Technically, everything's in order." "The child is lying head-first." "So now we can start the procedure." "Is everything okay?" "Okay." "So, now I need the anesthetic." "Ms. Lorenz, I'm giving you a small, local anesthetic." "It's just a pinprick." "Like an injection at the dentist." "Okay, great." "Nearly done." "You might feel some pressure." "Now we'll wait for half a minute." "Are you okay?" "Now I'm going to give you the actual injection." "Try to breathe normally." "I know this is real tough, but..." "That's good." "Okay, good." "You're doing great." "Okay." "Let's start." "We're done." "Oh, how wonderful!" "And how big is it?" "I don't think I can do it." "You can either tell people what really happened or say it was a miscarriage." "A lot of people do that." "Most people." "You could tell your family and friends one thing and everyone else another." "After all, you're in the public eye, Ms. Lorenz." "The cat's in the garden again." "Really?" "The black one?" "That'll make Nele happy." "I thought it'd run off." "Why do you have to do it?" "What good will it do?" "And have you thought about how it'll affect Nele?" "You look good." "Your first show is coming up soon." "Are you nervous?" "I'd be lying if I said no." "Last year, you made an important decision." "90% of all women in your position make the same decision." "But these women don't talk about it and you're going public." "Why?" "Well, I can't have a big mouth on stage and then keep it shut in real life." "I made this decision." "I don't know if it was right or wrong." "Probably a bit of both." "I aborted my child when I was seven months pregnant." "I miss you." "BABELFISCH TRANSLATIONS Rebekah Smith"