" Morning, Fred." " Morning, Norman." "(Bell tolling)" "Get your skates on." "(Old man) You're late again." "You'll cop it." "Hurry up!" "Norman!" "Norman!" " Yes, Mr Stoneway." " Prepare my work." " And stop looking out that window." " Yes, Mr Stoneway." " How's the girlfriend?" " OK." "We travelled together this morning." " Travelled together, eh?" " Well, same train." " Norman, shall I give you a tip?" " Please." "Danny Boy, Hurse Park today, ten to one." " No, betting's a mug's game." " (Laughter)" "Danny Boy's a sure thing." "He'll win me a whole week's wages." "I'll bet you it doesn't." "(Cheering)" "What's wrong with the favourites?" "Danny Boy's the fourth one down the drain." "There we are, Jimmy." "Get that counted and I'll buy you a beer." "Mayfair 1425, please." "(Phone)" "Lumb and Weaver, Turf Accountants." "Hello, Alfie." "It lost, eh?" "Jolly good." "The jockey got boxed in." "It's OK for you bookmakers, Mr Lumb." "Quite a turn up for the book." "Thanks." "Goodbye." "Danny Boy beaten by Nightclub Queen at 33 to one!" " We're in the money." " We certainly are." "Let's have champagne and buy something nice for Miss Daviot." "Just because an odds-on fancier gets beaten" " there's no need for a staff bonus." " Staff?" "Nonsense, old boy." "Poor Miss Daviot's had nothing since that mink stole after that lucrative week at Ascot." "Which you pawned after a worse week at Windsor." "Exactly." "Miss Daviot, tomorrow morning you and I go shopping." " Very nice." " Very nice, yes." " Very attractive." " L#2,475, that one-reasonable." " It's not really me, is it, Mr Lumb?" " No." "Does the lady like this lovely diamond clip we're almost giving away?" " That's attractive." " Yes." " L#3,250." " Oh, it is." "Or possibly something more informal?" "Possibly." "That pendant's pretty, the one on the right." " Yes, this one." " Isn't that more in your line?" " Depends on the price, doesn't it?" " That one is 775 guineas." " A real bargain." " Would you like that one, Miss Daviot?" "I'm not mad about the ruby-could that be changed for a diamond?" "I'm sure it could." "Madam has such excellent taste." "(Buzzer)" " You'd better go." " Me?" " Yes." "Go down and see what's wanted." " To the shop?" " S" " H" " O..." " P. Yes, Mr Stoneway." " Put your coat on." " Yes, Mr Stoneway." " Take your apron off." " Yes, Mr Stoneway." " And Norman?" " Yes, Mr..." " Don't forget the firm's dignity." " No, Mr Stoneway." "(Crashing)" "Good morning, madam." "May I help?" " Well, I..." " Yes, this pendant." " They haven't bought that?" " They have." " What about this one?" " Really!" " Or this one..." " Why not the one we want?" " I want that one." " I doubt it would suit you." "Not for me, I want to give it to someone." " She works over the road." " You're going to buy it?" "I haven't met her yet really." " Have I bought that pendant or not?" " Yes, you have, sir." " I set me heart on..." " Silence!" "Take this pendant to Mr Stoneway and ask him to replace the ruby." " Have it dug out?" " In a manner of speaking, yes." " This'll cause shocking trouble." " Take it to Mr Stoneway now." " You don't have to work with him." " Take this pendant to Mr Stoneway and ask him to replace the ruby with a diamond immediately, at once!" "Will you please go?" "Go!" " Here, someone's bought this!" " That's what it's here for." "Granley says to dig this ruby out and shove a diamond in." " I'll dig it out and shove it in." " And get a move on an' all." "He said." "They want it delivered by lunchtime." "Put it down." "And you, take your coat off." " Yes, Mr Stoneway." " And put your apron on." "Yes, Mr Stoneway." "When I've finished this you can deliver it to the client." " Yes, Mr Stoneway." " I'll have it finished by one o'clock." " Me lunchtime!" " Exactly, and don't be late back." "No, Mr Stoneway." "(Sighing)" "Come in." " Oh, it's you." " I brought your pendant." "Come in." "I'm having sandwiches." "Have you had your lunch?" "Not yet." "I have sandwiches in the pub." "Why don't you have some here for a change?" " No, no..." " Come on, there's plenty here." " No harm done, I suppose." " That's up to you, isn't it?" " I better stick to the pub." " Don't be silly, I'm only joking." " Come on." " Well... thank you." " We had that diamond fixed." " Much better." "If Mr Lumb has a bad day at Goodwood it'll end up in the pop shop." " No?" " Still, I wouldn't work for anyone else." "Why not?" "You like him, don't you?" "He's terribly sweet." "Somebody's got to look after him." "If it's still in the pawn shop and you win a couple of thousand on the pools," "I'll give you the ticket and you can get it for your girlfriend." "(Laughing) That'll be the day!" "I worked out how long it would take me to save up and buy the pendant." " How long do you reckon?" " How long?" "114 years." " Come to us and back a horse." " I'll have to bet a lot to win L#2,000." " Not with an accumulator." " What?" "It's easy." "You back a horse six to one." "How much do you have to bet?" "A pound if you've got it." "OK then, a pound on at six to one." " Fine." "Where?" " Just imagine it." "OK." "You've got a pound accumulator on four horses," "A, B, C and D. The first one wins six to one." "That's L#6, right?" "Now that L#6 plus your original stake, that's L#7, goes on horse B." " What price?" " 100 to six and it wins." " So that's..." " L#116 and a bit." "Now that plus L#7, let's say L#123, goes on horse C." "A rank outsider, 33 to one." "It wins." "That's L#4,059." "So, horse D comes up two to one." "That's two diamond pendants and a Rolls Bentley." "Get the idea." "So I just won L#12,000?" "Yes, on paper." "I'd be satisfied if only two came up." "That's over a hundred pound, right?" "You'd lose it all on the third." "I've got to win 'em all?" "Afraid so." "They don't often work, accumulators, but when they do..." "When they do..." "Good afternoon, sir." "Miss Daviot's looking after you?" "He's not a client." "He's got Miss Daviot's pendant." " That's right." " (Mr Lumb) Jolly nice." " I've been showing, uh..." " Norman." " Norman how to make L#12,000 out of L#1." " Jolly good." " Tea, Miss Daviot." " We need a shilling for the meter." " No tea then." " Are you going to have a bash?" "I don't know." "What's the quickest way?" "For me to have... what was it?" "Accumulator." " Back a jockey." " (Norman) Same as you do horses?" "Put an accumulator on all his horses." " Which is the best jockey?" " For Goodwood, Eddie Diamond." "Diamond." "Diamond!" "That's the one I'll have." " Only this is all I've got." " A shilling." "Just right for the meter." " Thank you." " Don't worry." "He'll get it back." "Of course." "I want a pound on Diamond's mounts for tomorrow." " Only two tomorrow." " Can you fix it so they'll be six?" "That would be all his mounts." "They won't all win." " I'll chance it." " You said you hadn't got a pound." " I may have tomorrow." " Think it over." "No, my mind's made up." "I'm gonna have a real go here." " (Mr Lumb) If you say so." " I say so." "I'll pop round with the pound in the morning... 19 shillings." "(Bell tolling)" "Two o'clock." "Don't forget, I'm a client now." " Poor Norman." " Like taking sweets from a child." "Remember, mugs like him on a larger scale are our bread and butter." " Jolly nice." " Tea, Miss Daviot." "Right, Mr Weaver." " Norman, come here." " I wanted to talk to you..." " Sit down." " What I was going to say was..." " Put this on." " Oh no!" " Don't argue, put it on." " I wanted to ask if I could have a sub." " Sub, what do you mean?" " Well, a pound till the end of the week." " What do you want it for?" "I was gonna have a bet, I mean, I've got some business." " Where did last week's wages go?" " I gave that to my mum." " You gave it to your mum, did you?" " Oh, yeah." "You always give her your money?" "Yeah, and she gives me some back for me train fares." "I like a young man who gives money to his mother." " Do you really, Mr Stoneway?" " Yes, it warms my heart." " Does it, Mr Stoneway?" " Yes, a sensible woman, your mother." " She is." " But she won't trust you with a pound." "Well, not all the lot of it, no." "She was quite right." "Neither would I!" "(Guard) Mind the doors!" "Sir!" "Your pound, your pound!" "Hey!" "I've got your pound." "I've got your pound..." "Not yours, it's not yours!" "Guard!" "Guard!" " Good evening, Mr Hedges." " Evening, Norman." "(Door shuts)" " Norman, is that you?" " Yes, Mum." "There you are." "Bit late, aren't you?" " Don't think so." " I've got a nice piece of liver for you." " I'm not hungry, Mum." " Nonsense." "Put that paper away." "It's an evening paper." "Hope you found it in the train, son." "No, Mum." "I bought it." "Bought it?" "Whatever next!" "Wasting your money like that." "What did you want it for?" " To read, of course." " What are you looking at?" "Racing!" " Have you been backing horses?" " No, Mum." " You sure?" " I haven't, honest." "And you'd better not." "You start betting, m'lad, and you know what'll happen." "You'll be the same as your father." " Left us, he did." " Yes, Mum, I know." "Walked out and left us flat." "Here, Mum, I wouldn't mind seeing Dad again." "You wouldn't mind, eh?" "Norman, if I thought you were following in his footsteps..." " Turn out your pockets." " Oh, Mum, really!" "Come on." " Is that all?" " Yeah." " Shilling short." "Where is it?" " A gentleman borrowed it for his meter." " What gentleman?" " A customer." "Fine sort of gentleman he sounds." "Get it back, Norman." " Oh, all right, Mum." " I'll have to cut your allowance down." "Anyway, we'll put it in the holiday fund for a start." "How do you expect me to get to work?" "Walk?" "From now on, I'll give you your exact fare." "Evening papers indeed." "Give it to me." " Ooo-ooh!" " That'll be Phoebe." " Oh, no." " Come in!" "Hi, Norm." " Am I early?" " No, he's late." "Hello, Phoebe." " How's your mother?" " Oh, nicely." " What picture are we gonna see?" " I'm sorry, we can't." " I haven't got any money." " That's all right, I can pay." "I don't want you to pay for me." "It doesn't matter once in a while, does it?" "I've got over a pound." " Have you?" " Yeah." "Well, what are we waiting for?" "Come on." "Bye-bye, Mum." " Norman." " Yeah?" "No monkey business." "Seats three-and-six, queuing one-and-nine." " Get one-and-nines." " No, we'll go in the three-and-sixes." " You don't wanna break into that pound." " Why not?" " Look, I need it." " Whatever for?" " It's urgent." " Well, I don't know." "Two two-and-fours, please." "Thank you." " Do you want orangeade?" " No, I don't but you can." "Here you are." "Get your straw." "Now, come on and stop messing about." "(# Melancholy strings)" " Why have you got your eyes shut?" " I don't want to see the end first." "(Usherette) Single seats only." " Come on, Phoeb, quick." " Singles?" "No!" " I'll see you later." " Norman, come back!" "(Audience grumbling)" "Sit down." "I thought you said there was a seat here!" "(Slurping)" "(# Finale)" "(Murmuring)" "Norman!" "There's a seat going." "Come over here." " There's one here." "You come over here." " You come here." " No, you come here." " Who paid for the seat?" "!" "(Audience) Shh!" "(Man) Shut up." "Will you sit down?" "My foot has got stuck." "Sit down in front there." "And take your hat off." "There, that's better, innit?" "I can't see very well from here." " Do you want that pound or not?" " Of course." "Then you'd better be nice to me." "Do you mind?" "Mind what?" "Now, Norm, are you going to be nice to me?" "Oh, all right." " Drop of this, then?" " I mean put your arm round me." "(Giggling) Oh, Norm!" "Ooh!" "Ooh, this is more like it." "(Slurping)" "Oh, for heaven's sake finish that." "Would you please keep quiet?" "Now sit still and enjoy yourself." "Phoeb." "Yes, Norm?" "I wanna..." "I wanna blow me nose." "Just when I got comfortable." "Oh, you are a nuisance." "I've got to blow my nose, haven't I?" "Well, you can just blow it left-handed, can't you?" "Oh!" "It must be in me mac." "Oh, Norman, pack it up." "(Blows nose noisily)" " Shh!" " Be quiet!" " Norm?" " Oh, no, don't start again, Phoebe." "I've lost my earring." "Gawd, blimey." "(Audience grumbling)" " (Man) Come on, sit down." " (Phoebe screams)" "(Woman) What are you doing?" "!" "(Man) Be quiet." "Can't you two keep still?" "I had to blow me nose, didn't I?" "You're spoiling the enjoyment for everybody." " What, me?" " Oh, take no notice, Norm." "Teddy boy!" "Put your arm back, Norm." "It's gone to sleep." "Me arm's gone to sleep." "Well, then... give me a kiss." " No, not here!" " You want that pound, don't you?" "If you'll only keep quiet, I'll give you a pound." "If you don't give me a kiss, you don't get the pound." " That's blackmail." " No kiss, no pound." "On the lips, Norm." "Now, listen, I am not..." "Oh..." "Go on, Norm." "Send me crazy." "(Snoring)" "(Floorboard creaks)" "(Creaks)" " (Creaking)" " Ooh!" "(Creaks)" "(Creaks)" "(Squeaks)" "(Creaks)" "(Cuckooing)" "(Cuckooing)" "(Cuckooing repeatedly)" "(Cuckooing speeds up)" "(Glass smashes, cuckooing stops)" "(Guard) Hang on!" "Oh..." "Y-You're..." " That's right." "And you're from opposite." " Yes." " Bit warm in here." " It certainly is." " I often see you in your window." " I've seen you, too." "Yes?" "And now we've met." "We have." "Sorry." " You have great clothes in your shop." " Wonderful jewellery in yours." "I bet you like jewellery." "I would if I could get it at Dormier's." " Well, perhaps you will someday." " If my luck changes." " Do you believe in luck?" " I think you have to push it a bit." "Oh, yeah." "That's what I'm gonna do." " What's your name?" " Norman." " Mine's Anne." " How are you?" "I've been hoping we'd meet each other." " So have I." " Have you?" " It's not quite so crowded now, is it?" " No." "Oh, sorry." " I was miles away." " It didn't seem like that to me." "...a monkey." "Topshire Lad each way." " (Knocking)" " Come in." "It's me." "Hello." " Hello." "I've brought it." " What is that?" "!" " My accumulator." " Tell him, Miss Daviot." "We only accept money on the racecourse." "You can't leave it here." " I can't back my jockey?" " Not unless you have a credit account." " Well, let's have one, then." " Certainly." "Open a credit account for this gentlemen." "Limit 20 shillings." "All right, now?" "If you lose, you can settle your account with us out of your paper bag." " You don't want it?" " No." "Oh, it's a lark." "All this fuss to get it." "On second thoughts, you can leave it." "For goodwill." " Is that legal?" " Oh, yes." "You haven't staked it - you bet on your account." "Oh, I'll leave it then." "I've got to go now." " I've met her." " That's good." "(Phone)" "Stoneway." "Oh, yes." "Ready tomorrow." "(Vendor) Star, News and Standard!" "Race results!" "Yes, I'll see about it." "Bye." " This has to be ready by tomorrow." " All right, sir." "Ah, I've run out of cigarettes." " I'll go and get you some." " Thanks, Norm." " I've got a packet he can have." " Thanks." " (Norman) Shall I get the tea now?" " Tea?" "We don't have tea till half past three." "I thought you might like it early today it being so hot and all and on account of the heat making your throats all parched." "There's nothing like a cup of tea to unparch it." "Imagine it all running round your mouth until it goes down your throat." "It gives you all a lovely feeling inside your stomach." "You think of it now with all sugar and milk and no tea leaf." "And it's very good for you." "Nice, hot, strong tea." "That cup in your hand makes you feel that life is worth living after all." "G-Go and get it." "Yeah!" "(Vendor) Star, News and Standard!" "Race results." "Paper!" " How's it going, Lofty?" " OK, now, Fred." "Have you got the result of the 2:30?" "Eddie Diamond's riding Blue Peter." "Charlie, I'm ready to solder this leak." "Turn off the gas main." "Oh!" "He's done it!" " Are you sure?" " Yeah." "Right." "(Explosion)" "Now what?" "Yes." "That'll do." " Hello, Mr Stoneway." " Where have you been?" " Oh, er..." "Get the tea." " Where is it?" " It won't be ready till the next race." " What?" " Half past three we can have it." " Get back to your work." "(Laughing)" "I'm gonna..." "I shall be back in a moment." "Mr Powell, Mr Roberts, see that nobody leaves this room." "Very good, sir." "Mr Roberts, can I use the phone, please?" "Yes, all right." "(Phone)" " Lumb and Weaver." " This is Norman here." "Norman?" "Nor..." "Oh, Norman!" "Yeah." "Have I won?" "We don't know yet." "They're at the post now." " They're off." " Oh, they're off." "Just a minute, I'll put the phone by the blower so you can hear and your horse is Shy Lover, by the way." "OK." "'... and it's Mayflower there, half a length I'd say from Golden Goose," "'Minotaur and, I can't quite see, and it's Radiant Light going well." "'Golden Goose going well." "They're closing up now." "'Shy Lover's challenging, Minotaur's holding him off...'" " (Phone cuts out)" " Hello?" "Hello!" "Hello!" " Hello." " (Operator) 'Can I help you?" "'" " I got cut off." " 'Well, I didn't cut you off.'" "No, but I did get cut off." "'I can connect you to the supervisor.'" "No, I don't want the supervisor, I just want my number." "'Supervisor here, can I help you?" "'" "I was connected to Mayfair 1425 and I got cut off." "'Oh, well, I'll give you the operator.'" " (1 st woman) 'Operator.'" " Look, Miss..." "'Number please." "'Which number are you calling?" "'" "(Stuttering) It's Mayfair, erm..." "Oh, wait, I had it just now." "Er, it's Lumb and Weaver's." "'I'll connect you with directory enquiry.'" "No!" "I don't want directory enquiry." "'Directory enquiry, what number do you want?" "'" "I want Mayfair 1425." "That's it!" "Yeah!" "Mayfair 1425." "It's bookmakers, it's only just round the corner." "I could walk there in half a minute." "'Why don't you, then?" "'" "Well..." "I'm not allowed out." "'I'm not surprised.'" "Look, I want Mayfair 1425 and this is very urgent cos the race'll be over by the time..." "Hello?" "Hello!" "'... he's under pressure now...'" "How are you getting on?" "Hello?" "Hello?" "'... furlong to go, it's anybody's...'" " Hello!" " (Operator) 'Are you flashing?" "'" "Flashing?" "I'm exploding here." "It's just round the corner." "There must be something wrong with this phone." "Am I asking too much?" "Just one little telephone call." "It's just round the corner." "Mayfair 1425." "'Excuse me, sir, I'm sorry to bother you but did you want Mayfair 1425?" "'" " Yes, please." " 'Well, why didn't you say so?" "'" "Mayfair 1425-5." "(Phone)" "Hello." "Norman, where did you get to?" "I was here all the time." "'Were you?" "I tried to talk to you and the line was dead." "'You must have been cut off...'" " Norman!" " 'Of course, you want to know...'" "(Radio) '... number three, Cutter's Lament...'" " What do you think you're doing?" " I, er, it rang, Mr Stoneway." "Get back to your work." "(Phone)" "Stoneway." "If you want the result, why don't you hold on?" " I don't want to hear any result!" " Well, Shy Lover won." "What are you talking about?" "This is a jewellers, not a bookmakers." "Shy Lover indeed!" "Shy Lover!" "It's happened to me." "It's happened!" "Oh, Mr Stoneway, thank you." "Shy Lover." "I shall see you all right." "You certainly will!" "Ah, here's our accumulator expert." " Yeah, that's it." " Your jockey's had two winners." "Yeah, I want to stop my bet now." " Stop it?" " Yeah, I'll settle for the L#145 I'm up." " I don't think you understand." " I do." "I don't mind cancelling the rest of the bet." " You don't mind?" " No, I don't mind." " I don't want to be greedy." " He's worried." "Your pound's on all six horses Eddie Diamond rides and there it stays." " Until I lose the lot, I suppose." " I'm afraid so." "And just to think at this very minute I'm worth L#145." " That's right." "On paper." " You might pull it off." " What's he riding tomorrow?" " Three mounts tomorrow." "Popcorn in the first, then Fricassee and Red Pepper in the 4:30." " Any of them fancied?" " No." "Oh." "Well, it was nice to be rich for one day." "That's right." "Be philosophical about it." "Popcorn, Fricassee and Red Pepper!" "Makes you sick to think about it." "Poor little devil." "Well, he'll be out of his agony tomorrow." "And if either of them don't win, I shall lose my original stake of a pound." "I'll keep my fingers crossed for you." "It's not the pound I'm bothered about, what worries me is how I got it." "How did you get it?" "I borrowed it from me and my mum's holiday fund." "Will she mind?" "Will she mind!" "Cor, gives me a shocking headache to think of it." "Here, take these." " What are they?" " Only aspirin." " Thank you." " Can you manage without water?" "Well, I'll chew them." "Oh, come on, it's not as bad as all that." "I'll have this as a souvenir." " So you live with your mother?" " Yes." "My dad left home when I was a kid." "We haven't seen him since." " Oh, dear." "Another woman?" " Oh, it was worse than that-horses." "Oh." "Horses." "It's funny, us not talking to each other till this morning and now we're in the park together." "I like it." "Er, nice." " You got a family?" " I live with my father." "That's who I'm meeting." "Oh." "We're going to the theatre." "Oh!" "I really must go." " Can I come?" " Better not." "Sorry." "See you tomorrow, though." " Do you really mean that?" " Mm." " Honest?" " Of course." "I must fly." "Bye." "Bye." "Nice thing, I must say." "Coming home wet through." "A wonder you haven't got pneumonia." "What were you doing in the park?" "That's what I want to know." "Close your mouth." "How can I take your temperature if you let a draught in?" "Careful!" "Careful!" "Oh, let's have a look at it, then." "(Gasps)" " That's a bad sign." " What is it?" " Normal." " Oh." " No, you don't." " You said it was normal." "You've always been subnormal." "Under them bedclothes." "No work for you today, my lad." "There you stay." "(Phone)" "Stoneway." " Who is that?" " I'm Norman's mother." "He's ill in bed with a temperature." "I'm afraid he can't come today." "He was perfectly all right yesterday." "(Sighs) It's really most awkward, we're short-staffed as it is." "Very well." "If he's not here tomorrow, we shall need a certificate." "Don't you worry, if my boy's away tomorrow, he'll be certified." "'... it's a furlong to go 'and it looks like a walkover for Eddie Diamond on Popcorn." "'He's well in front, quite unchallenged." "'He's passing the post... now." "'He's at the front of field, Popcorn ridden by Eddie Diamond...'" "(PA) 'ln the next race, number five carries seven stone nine." "'Number seven carries seven stone eleven...'" " How is it?" " Diabolical." " What are our commitments so far?" " Just over L#790." " We'll pay." " We won't, you know." "The bank was on the phone again just before we left." " That's a nice brooch..." " Oh, no." " The firm didn't buy this." " Pity." " Where's the pendant?" " In a safe place." " It'll all balance up." " Three ponies on Rocker." "See what I mean?" "Yes, I'm not so sure." "And with that accumulator on Eddie Diamond." "Even if he wins, which is impossible, where would he collect his money?" " What about our office?" " We'll have moved." " Welshed, eh?" " Miss Daviot!" " Removed to a new address." " Poor Norman." "His pound is about as safe as my pendant." "Forget him." "We're not likely to see his eager face again." "Can I see your passes, please?" "Thank you." "Passes, please." "Thank you." "Thank you." "Er, your passes, please." " Your passes, please." " Pa..." "Vogliamo entrare." "Entrare!" "Ma signore, fra poco sara troppo tardi." " Your passes." " Scusi, non capisco." "Che cos'e questo pass?" "Ma perche non ci fa entrare?" "Sara troppo tardi per noi." "Per piacere, ci faccia entrare, no?" "All right, then." "In you go." "Passes, please." "Thank you." "Thank you very much." "(Speaking gibberish)" "I beg your pardon?" " Not far off Hindustani, my dear." " (Woman) Why, of course." "(Speaking gibberish)" "(Shouting excitedly)" "(Speaking gibberish)" " I'm sorry, I don't understand a word." " Allow me, sir." "(Speaking Hindustani)" "(Gibberish)" " I think he's trying to speak Latvian." " Latvian?" "Latvian!" "(Speaking Latvian)" "He's trying to speak Hindustani." "No, you're wrong." "He's trying to speak Romanian." "(Speaking Romanian)" "(All talking at once)" "I believe he's trying to speak Latvian." "Of course not!" "He is trying to speak Greek." "Rubbish!" "(All shouting)" "Gentlemen, gentlemen, please." " Hello!" " Good heavens!" "I heard the result of the two o'clock on the radio." " It ain't half exciting!" " We're hysterical." "You do the adding up - what's my winnings?" " You haven't won a penny yet." " But I will do if it keeps up like this." " What do you think it is?" " What was the price of Popcorn?" " The SP was 100-8." " That's one... two and two's... nine..." "Exactly L#1,957." "(Whimpers) One..." " Guinea on Black Boy." " Black Boy." "Mr Grey." "(PA) 'ln the next race, number three carries grey, 'green sleeves and a yellow cap." "'Number 13 carries blue, white hooped sleeves and a blue and white cap.'" "They're under starter's orders now." "This is gonna be it." "That's the one, Fricassee." "That's the one you want." " Where are you off to?" " Me?" "Er, run out of cigarettes." "I've had a shocking headache." "I suppose it's all the excitement." "I've got my last two aspirins here." " Fricassee's playing up." " Yeah, Sandboy's quiet." "Keep them in line." "Come in, jockeys, come in." "Keep them in line." "Steady." "Keep them in line." "Steady." "Keep them in line." "Steady!" "Fricassee!" "Fricassee!" "Go on!" "Go on, Eddie!" "Go on, Fricassee!" "Go on, Eddie!" "Get him up the front!" "Fricassee." "He's got boxed in." "I can't see him." "Where's Fricassee?" " Where is he?" "Who's in the lead?" " Fricassee, I think." "Fric..." "Gangway." "Oh, Mum..." "I didn't mean to." "(Mumbling)" "(Echoing) Norman, how could you have done it?" "You naughty boy." "(Norman) The bottle's empty." "I've taken the lot." " Yes, I emptied the bottle." " You emptied the bottle?" "What bottle?" " Mr Wilson." " Yes, Nurse." "This is no faint." "He's swallowed a bottle of aspirins." " That'll mean the stomach pump." " Exactly." "(Ambulance bell ringing)" "Swallowed them all." "Yes, so you'd better warn them." " What's that?" " Aspirins!" "A whole bottle." "He swallowed a whole bottle." "Ooh, swallowed a bottle, has he?" "Right, I'll warn them in casualty." "(Groaning) Not that bottle." " Oh, no, cut it out." " Yes, they probably will, son." "Casualty?" "Hall porter here." "There's an emergency coming in from the races." "A bloke's swallowed a bottle." "Swallowed a bottle?" "Right, I'll warn them in the surgery." "Take him straight to the theatre." "(Norman) Hey, stop that!" "It's not right." "Now look, I'm supposed to be at the races." "I stand to win a lot of money." "I don't want to do this." "There's nothing wrong with me." "Where are you taking me?" "Hey!" "Where are you taking me?" "Let me get off!" "There's nothing wrong with me." "A drink of water would do!" "Where are you going?" "Where are you taking me?" "Here!" "Hey!" "What's going on?" "Get his things off." " We'll have to chance his blood count." " You'll chance nothing with me." " Be sharp, we haven't much time." " There's nothing wrong with me!" " I only fainted." " Get his trousers off." " You ain't getting nothing off!" " Come now." " Be sensible or we can't operate." " Operate!" "You ain't going to operate." "We must get that bottle out of your tummy, mustn't we?" " Get him under quick!" " Right, sir." "Hold him still!" "Hey!" "You dirty kidnappers." "Get out of it!" "Quickly, Nurse, strip him." "Leave me alone!" "Get your hands off of me." "Good heavens!" "What do you think you're doing?" "Get him under." "(Norman) I won't stand for this!" "Get that man on the table." "No!" "Get out of it." "Hold him, Nurse." "Hold him!" "Get the table ready, he'll soon be under." "Good heavens!" "Get him on the table!" "Come on, be sensible." "It won't take a minute." "We're only trying to help you." "Be still!" "Don't make such a fuss." "It won't take a minute." "Get it off!" "(Surgeon, muffled)" "I-I-I'm terribly sorry, sir." "It was an accident." "I couldn't help it." "(Nurse) We must hurry." " Get it off." " I can't, it's stuck." "(Slurring) I got to get out of here." "I've got to get to the races." "Oh, sir!" "The trouble you've caused!" "Straight through there, second on the left." "You can't miss it." "Here." "You!" "Are you all right?" "(Slurring) Don't you worry about me." "Here, did Fricassee win?" " Are you interested?" " Of course I am." "You take my tip, mate, and have a lie-down." "Don't you tease me!" "Did Fricassee win?" "Yes." "Second favourite." "Eddie Diamond up." "What have you been drinking?" "Chloroform?" "That's right." "How did you guess?" "How did you..." "(PA) 'And the Tote return, 'win number nine, three and sixpence." "'number four, two and threepence...'" "Oh!" "Good gracious." "I beg your pardon." "Sorry, my dear." "Excuse me." "Sorry." "Sorry." "Aye aye!" "Aye aye." "There's a ticktack in there got a good tip for Clarius." " Clarius?" " Yes, Clarius." "Hello!" "Hello." " What have you bet on?" " I beg your pardon?" "Yeah." "Yeah, I got a bet on, yeah." "I told him I'll have it in my hand by tonight." "I'm gonna be rolling in money." "They must be putting a fortune on this horse." "He's showing odds-on." "Odds-on..." "We're gonna win." "Gonna win!" "He says it's all right." "Gonna win, there's no doubt in my mind." "Then tonight we'll all have a drink." "All gollop the wallop with me." "Rub that off." "The blower's putting a packet on." " It's on the blower." " Scrub that, it's on the blower!" "H-have a gollop of the wallop." "Pushing it back." "Excuse me." "Excuse me." "Is this the 4:30 race?" "My, you've been celebrating a bit." "Better wait till you've won before you do that." "But I don't drink." "I'm as sober as a new-born judge, I am." " What won that race?" " Red Pepper." " Red Pepper." "What horse was mine?" " Red Pepper." " Eddie Diamond's hat trick." " His fifth win in your accumulator." "My accumulator..." "Red Pepp..." "That's my horse." "I've done it yet again!" "Congratulations!" "Congratulations!" "Go and drink a gallon of black coffee." "I can afford it now!" "Congratulations." "I've had a big win today!" "How about you?" "Did you back it?" " Really." " Poor little chap." " I think I'd better keep an eye on him." " Why?" " Well, somebody's got to." " Why?" "Tea and a bun, please, miss." "Tea and a bun." "Sixpence, please." "(Giggles)" " I haven't got any." " Oh, what a shame." "Oh, no, don't take it away." "I know it sounds daft but I'm worth over L#16,000." "Well, fancy that." "Yeah." "Look, here's the account so I'll be able to pay you tomorrow." "I'll pay you tomorrow." " Sorry, dear." " Oh, be a sport." "Just for the sake of sixpence." "Go and find your bookmaker friend, borrow sixpence, come back here and you can have your tea." "Ain't it marvellous?" "You'd have thought a fellow rolling in money would be able to have one dirty, stale cake and a chipped cup of canteen tea without all this fuss." "Have you done?" "You want to borrow ten bob?" " Oh, I didn't see you." " I'm not surprised." "Thank you." "Miss, two teas..." "and two cakes, please." "I'll be able to pay you back out of my winnings." "Your firm owes me over L#16,000 now." "Look." "Not unless Old Casper wins tomorrow." " What chance has he got?" " Not much." "It's 100-1 against." "Hello, Eddie." "Same high tea as usual?" "Yeah, no milk, no sugar." "A bit of lemon if you've got it." "Supposing Eddie Diamond doesn't ride Old Casper tomorrow?" "Here!" "What if he doesn't ride another horse at this meeting?" "Then we sit down and write you a cheque for L#16,848." " That's it!" " Look who's here." "That's him." "That's him!" "Watching your weight, Mr Diamond?" "That's right." "Nothing to eat and saccharin in my tea." " You must feel hungry." " Hungry?" "I'm starving." "Got to lose some weight before I ride tomorrow." " Good luck for tomorrow." " Thank you." " Tidy yourself up." " Oh..." "Er, miss, those cream cakes, I'll have them." " All of them?" "!" " Yeah, just to start with." "Afternoon, Mr Diamond." " Hello." " Thank you." "Cor, smashing cream." " Want one?" " No, thanks." "Oh, come on, have one." "Take your pick." "No, no, I daren't." " As light as feathers these are." " Please." "Mmm!" "Cor, these are all chocolate coated here." "You sure you won't change your mind?" "Yes, quite sure." "Here, look, just have a taste." "Go on." "Hey!" "Cut that out, will you?" "You might as well finish it now." "Go on." "I tucked him up in bed and this is what I found on his pillow." ""Dear Mum, felt better." "Gone to work." "Norman." Well?" "He's nowhere of the sort." "I rang the shop." "He hasn't been there at all." "He'll go the same way as his father." "Oh, I'll give him such a..." "Don't take on so, Mrs Hackett." "Oo-oh, Mrs Hackett." "My ma says should she phone the police." " The police!" "What for?" " To see if there's any news." " Phoebe's right." " He might have been knocked down." "Don't worry about that." "They don't charge these days." " Charge for what?" " For an ambulance." " Not now it's nationalised." " That's right." "If it's an accident, the ambulance is free." "Whatever are you talking about?" " I know what I'd do." " What's that, Mrs Crossley?" " Drag the river." " Oh, hardly worth it." "They float to the top after three days." " What do?" " Bodies." "All blown up like balloons." "Here, if you lose the race tomorrow, I'll lose L#16,000." "You've lost it, chum." " If you don't ride, I'll share my winnings." " Nothing doing." "I'll give you L#10,000." "I've got a Jockey Club licence that's worth more to me than L#10,000." " Any chance of the horse not running?" " No." " What if I offer her some money?" " She's rolling in it." " One thing you could do." " What?" "Go up and see her." "Offer to buy the horse." " What would I do with a horse?" " Scratch it." "Stop it running." "Once it's yours, you can do what you like." " Do you think she'd sell?" " Worth a try." "And I have no other rides tomorrow." " Do you know where she lives?" " Somewhere in Surrey." "They're all out." "There must be someone..." "Oh, shut up." " Is this Mrs Dooley's house?" " That's right, sir." "Come in." "Thank you." " You're the gentlemen who telephoned?" " Yes." "In here." " You're Mrs Dooley, aren't you?" " Sure I am." "You're the young scallywag who wants to buy my horse." " Yes, ma'am" " Sit down, then." "(Parrot) Sit down!" "Sit down!" "Make yourself at home." "It's Josephine's bath night so I'll carry on if you don't mind." "Shake the young gentlemen by the hand." "Yes, be polite." "Say good evening to him." "Say good evening." "Good evening, Josephine." "There's a good girl." "What do you think of the young man?" "What do you think?" "(Blows a raspberry)" "She's a bold girl. (Chuckles)" "Tell me now, what makes you want to buy Old Casper?" "I can't see the point in racing horses if they stand no chance of winning." "Winning?" "I don't race my horses to win." "I like them to have the exercise and the fun." "I race them when they look depressed." "Then, you wouldn't mind selling Old Casper, would you?" "Tell me now, how can a young man like you afford to buy a racehorse?" "I can't really." "But I will if I do own him." "Old Casper means such a lot to me." "Be after ringing that bell, young man." " Have you had anything to eat?" " Not since tea, no." "We sup at three o'clock in the morning." "That's the best time to eat." "We sleep by day in this house and watch through the night in case the children have a need of us." " Children?" " The animals." "That's another one of me in India." "Yes..." "Oh, look." "That's my late husband." "Look, now." " Oh." " My late husband." "No, not that one." "That's a warthog." " This side." " Oh, yes." "(Cock crows)" "(Dog barking)" " Morning, Kathie." " Morning, ma'am." "Good news." "The ostrich has laid an egg." "The clever girl!" "Morning, Charles." "It's daylight already!" " Of course, it's morning." " What's the time?" " Quarter past seven." " I've been here all night!" "Here's Topsy-Turvy, my whiskered bat." " It's today." "This afternoon!" " What is?" "Oh, nothing, Mrs Dooley..." "just about Old Casper." " We can talk about him later." " Can't I have it now?" "A letter or something on paper saying he's mine." "What's the hurry?" "Tomorrow will be time enough." " I'm off to my bed now." " No, please, don't." "Not till the horse is mine cos after today it'll be to late." "Too late?" "What are you talking about?" "Erm, well, er, it's my girlfriend." "Er, we're engaged." "And, er, oh, today's her birthday, so I want to give her the horse as a present." "I couldn't pay you till tomorrow but I must give it to her today." "Your sweetheart's birthday?" "Er, yes." "We're very much in love." "You're in love?" "Very much in love." "(Sighs)" "My husband and I were your age when first we met." "We used to ride in the foothills together." "He died before our love had time to blossom." "Oh." " What were we talking about?" " Old Casper." " Oh, yes." " For my fiancee." " What's her name?" " Anne." " Is she very pretty?" " Oh, smashing." "Smashing, eh?" "I must see her." "If I like the look of her, you shall have the horse." "Bring her to me, now." "Today." " But Mrs Dooley..." " Enough." "Go and fetch your sweetheart, then we'll see about my horse." "All right, I'll fetch her." "Hello, Anne." "I know this is a terrible cheek but I need your help." " I must get the horse." " Get the horse?" "You know, THE horse." "I want to buy it so I need your help." " Are you ill?" " Yes." "No." "No, no." "Look, I want to buy someone a present as-as a sort of a..." "Well, a proposal." "'But I can't get the present unless I got the horse.'" " Can you get the day off?" " It is my day off." "Thank goodness for that." "Listen, this is what I want you to do..." "(Elephant trumpets)" "Lovely grub." "I ain't half glad you got here." "Anne, before we go in, that necklace - I want to buy it for you." "You know why, don't you?" " Are you trying to propose to me?" " It's more than I dare do..." "Yes." "Oh, I suppose it is a bit sudden." "I'll explain later on." "Oh, when we get in do you think you could look as if you love me?" "I'll try." "Come you in." "Mrs Dooley, this is Anne." "Oh, charming!" "Perfectly charming." "Come and sit near me, my child." "(Parrot whistles)" "Don't mind Josephine, there's no harm in her at all." "Sit down." "Kathie, come and take Josephine to her bed." "Off you go, there's a good girl." " Go with Kathie to your bed." " Come on." "Well, now... so you intend to marry this young man." " Yes, ma'am." " When?" " As soon as we..." " Shh, shh." "When, my dear?" " As soon as possible." " You could do far worse." "He and I had a lovely night together." " Where are you going to live?" " We haven't quite decided yet." " Have we, Norman?" " Er, not exactly, no." "We'll find somewhere..." "won't we, sweetheart?" "Yes, darling." "Well, it's all one when you're in love." "Igloo or hut." "Castle or cottage." "I've tried 'em all." "Really?" "So you want to give this beautiful girl my horse?" "Yes, please." "All right." "This clearly assigns the dear, faithful creature over to you." "Thank you, Mrs Dooley!" "Come on, Anne." "It's no use, Mrs Dooley, I can't lie." " I want Old Casper because of a bet." " A bet?" "I want to make enough money to buy Anne a pendant." "She's so wonderful." "Oh, Norman." "I can't stop the bet now." "That's why I must have Old Casper." " I've come to a decision." " Yes, ma'am." "I'm afraid I can't sell Old Casper." "I couldn't expect any different." "I'm going to give him to you... as a wedding present." "Oh, Mrs Dooley!" "Thank you." "Thank you very much." "That's all right." "Now you'll be off to see his swansong at Goodwood." " See what?" " His last race." "Yes." "Thank you, Mrs Dooley." "Bye." "See you again." "Ah... the young." "May God bless them." "Reckless." "Foolish." "Mad!" "Crazy." "Adorable." "(Norman) Wait for us." "Oh..." " What's the matter?" " I haven't got a pass." "Leave it to me." "So it really was rather a gay evening." "Excuse me, can you help me?" "That man's been following me and I want him arrested." "Yes, it's about time he was put in charge." " Will you be a witness?" " A witness to what?" "That he's been following me." "I'd like to but it's not legally true." "I haven't witnessed it." "Well, that's easy." "You can witness him now." "Watch." "Hey!" "Come back!" "There." " Where can I find Old Casper's trainer?" " That's Ritchie." " He's over there." " Thank you." "Mr Ritchie!" " Are you Mrs Dooley's trainer?" " Yes." " Old Casper's mine now so scratch him." " I beg your pardon?" "I bought Old Casper and I don't want him to run." " Sorry, it can't be done." " What?" "You can't scratch a horse once it's been declared." " Declared?" " Confirmed as a runner." "Old Casper's not running so shove him back in his box!" "Norman, shouting won't help." "Let's go and see the stewards." "Yes." "Yes, we understand." "Perfectly." "You've purchased this horse overnight and, for reasons of your own," " you wish to scratch him." " That's what I said." "But the trainer says Old Casper's fit to run." "Jockey Club rules stipulate that horses must be scratched 45 minutes before the advertised time of the race." " He's fit so he'll have to go to the post." " I won't let him run!" " Nobody can make him run." " You can't do a thing." "We'll see about that." "Come on, Norman." "It's no use." "Eddie Diamond's riding Old Casper and I'll lose all my money." "But is Eddie Diamond going to ride Old Casper?" " Who's going to stop him?" " You are." "He works for you." " Well, sack him." " That's it!" "You've got it." "Hey!" "You can't go in there." "I want to speak to my jockey." " And who might that be?" " Eddie Diamond." " He's not in there." " Where is he?" "He's sweating off a couple of ounces at the Turkish baths." "Mr Diamond!" "Mr Diamond." "Oh!" "There you are!" "The horse is not running." "It's not running." "I'm the boss now." "The horse is not running." "You can get dressed and go home." " Over." " The horse is not gonna run now!" "Mr Diamond!" "You're wasting your time." "It's no use you trying to get the weight off." "You can have a week's money and I'll pay you tomorrow." "Oh!" "It's no use you trying to get away from me." " Where's the sweatbox?" " I don't even know what a sweatbox is!" "(Norman) Oh, no!" "Take it off." "Put me down." "Oh, no, let me out." " Are you all right, Mr Diamond?" " Come back!" " Are you all right?" " No." "Let me out." " It's good for you." " Oh, no, it's too hot." "Much too hot." "Too hot?" "We'll soon fix that." " Stand by for the cold." " Oh, no!" "Don't put the cold on." "Don't..." "It's free..." "It's freezing." "I want to get out!" "Let me out." "I think you've had about enough." "Hey, you've got your clothes on." "I only come in here to find Eddie Diamond." "He's gone." "He'll be halfway up the course by now." "I got to stop him." "Eddie Diamond." "Eddie Diamond... (PA) 'ln the next race, number three carries grey, 'green sleeves and a yellow cap." "'Number 13 carries blue, white hooped sleeves 'and blue and white quartered cap." "'Number three carries eight stone 'and number 13 carries eight stone two.'" "Hey, stop the race!" "Come back." "Stop!" "Oh, Norman!" "Stop the race!" "Hey!" "I'm the owner!" "Get off my horse!" "(Excited chatter)" "Stop the race." "Don't start it!" "Here, Old Casper's not going to run." "Who are you?" "Get off the course." "I'm an owner and I've scratched him." "He's in there somewhere." " Jockeys, come in." " Stop the race!" "Stop the race!" " Don't start it." " Come in." "Will you get off the course!" " Stop the race." "I insist." " Steady..." "Where are you going?" "Hey!" "Let me down." " Norman!" " What are you doing?" "(Laughter)" " Shut up yourself." " I'll have you horsewhipped!" "Old Casper, come back!" " Stop the race." " Get off!" " (Groaning)" " Are you all right?" " What happened to Old Casper?" " I think he was last." "Oh... now I'm broke." "Never mind, Norman." "Money isn't everything." "Let's go and see Old Casper." " Where's Old Casper?" " Over there." " Thank you, Duchess." " It's just like Ascot." " Is this Old Casper?" " Yes." "We had a nice walk together." " Did you ride him?" " If you can call it riding." " You're not Eddie Diamond!" " You catch on quick." " Where is he?" " Over there." " There's Eddie!" " That's not our horse." "It doesn't matter, he's won." " You again?" " You won!" "Yeah, but not on Old Casper, though." "I couldn't make the weight." "But you won!" "I've won." "We've won!" "Let's go and collect it." "Here we are." " They're not here." " No." "The office." " They've gone." " They've welshed." "We'll get the police." "Come on." "(Phone)" "(PA) 'British European Airways flight to Paris...'" " Still no reply from Miss Daviot." " Where on earth is she?" " Keep calm, old boy." " Keep calm?" "Look, I have never fled the country before." "Fled the..." "Shh!" "We're flying to Paris for the weekend for a rest and to consider our position." "I can tell you that." "We're cleaned out." "Bust!" "Don't keep saying that." "Where on earth can she be?" " We'll have to leave her." " No." "We've got five minutes yet." " Here you are." " All right, sir." " They've gone with everything." " All me winnings!" " Did you want something?" " Yes." "My money, please." " I've been expecting you." " Are you in charge?" " Yes." " And you owe him some money?" "L#33,696." "Perfectly correct." "Our cheque for L#32,000." "L#921 in cash." "And I have deducted L#775 for this." " A pawn ticket?" " For the pendant." "Remember?" " (Phone)" " Excuse me." "Hello." " Miss Daviot?" " Mr Lumb." "Nice of you to ring." "Meet us in Paris." "It's only a question of time before the police get to the office." "They're here already." "Norman's here, too." " 'I've settled up with him.'" " With what funds?" "From the pound accumulator I put on Eddie Diamond." " What?" " I covered our liability with another firm, a reputable one." "Then I laid off our friend's accumulator after his fourth win with the pendant." "Do you mean you saved our bacon?" "Miss Daviot, you're a genius." "I love you." "I couldn't do without you." " Are you going to ask me to marry you?" " I'd do anything you like." "Even that." "'I'll see you in Paris at Georges Cinq.'" "Bless you, Miss Daviot." "May I call you Betty?" "I may?" "Oh, thank you Miss Daviot." "Gilbert, we're on my honeymoon." "Norman!" "Just like his father!" " Mum!" " So, you're back?" "You've been betting." "I've brought our holiday bottle back." " And this is my fiancee." " Your fiancee?" " Whatever next?" " (Door closes)" "Ah." "Greetings, my boy..." "my successful boy." "Eh?" "Dad!" "My darling, how wrong I've been..." "and how much I've missed you." "Let's forget the past..." "and start all over again." "Shall we, eh?"