"Are you blind when you're born?" "Can you see in the dark?" "Can you look at a king?" "Would you sit on his throne?" "Can you say of your bite That it's worse than your bark?" "Are you cock of the walk" "When you're walking alone?" "Because Jellicles are And Jellicles do" "Jellicles do and Jellicles would" "Jellicles would and Jellicles can" "Jellicles can and Jellicles do" "When you fall on your head Do you land on your feet?" "Are you tense when you sense There's a storm in the air?" "Can you find your way blind When you're lost in the street?" "Do you know how to go To the Heaviside Layer?" "Because Jellicles can And Jellicles do" "Jellicles do and Jellicles can" "Jellicles can and Jellicles do" "Jellicles do and Jellicles can" "Jellicles can and Jellicles do" "Can you ride on a broomstick To places far distant?" "Familiar with candle" "Were you Whittington's friend?" "The Pied Piper's assistant?" "Have you been an alumnus" "Are you mean like a minx?" "Are you lean like a lynx?" "Are you keen to be seen When you're smelling a rat?" "Were you there when the pharaohs Commissioned the Sphinx?" "If you were, and you are You're a Jellicle Cat" "Jellicle Songs for Jellicle Cats" "Jellicle Songs for Jellicle Cats" "Jellicle Songs for Jellicle Cats" "Jellicle Songs for Jellicle Cats Jellicle Songs for Jellicle Cats" "We can dive through the air" "Like a flying trapeze" "We can turn double somersaults Bounce on a tyre" "We can run up a wall We can swing through the trees" "We can balance on bars We can walk on a wire" "Jellicles can and Jellicles do" "Jellicles can and Jellicles do" "Jellicles can and Jellicles do" "Jellicles can and Jellicles do" "Jellicle Songs for Jellicle Cats" "Jellicle Songs for Jellicle Cats" "Jellicle Songs for Jellicle Cats" "Jellicle Songs for Jellicle Cats" "Can you sing at the same time In more than one key" "Duets by Rossini And waltzes by Strauss?" "And can you, as cats do Begin with a "c"?" "That always triumphantly Brings down the house" "Jellicle Cats Are queens of the night" "Singing at astronomical heights" "Handling pieces from The Messiah" "Hallelujah, angelical choir" "Jellicle Cats Are queens of the night" "Singing at astronomical heights" "Handling pieces from The Messiah" "Hallelujah, angelical choir" "The mystical divinity" "Of unashamed felinity" "Round the cathedral" "Rang vivat" "Life to the everlasting cat" "Feline, fearless" "Faithful and true" "To others who do what" "Jellicles do and Jellicles can" "Jellicles can and Jellicles do" "Jellicle Cats sing Jellicle Chants" "Jellicles old and Jellicles new" "Jellicle Song and Jellicle dance" "Jellicle Songs for Jellicle Cats" "Jellicle Songs for Jellicle Cats" "Jellicle Songs for Jellicle Cats" "Jellicle Songs for Jellicle Cats" "Practical cats, dramatical cats" "Pragmatical cats, fanatical cats" "Oratorical cats, Delphic-Oracle cats" "Sceptical cats, dyspeptical cats" "Romantical cats, pedantical cats" "Critical and parasitical cats" "Allegorical cats, metaphorical cats" "Statistical cats and mystical cats" "Political cats, hypocritical cats" "Clerical cats, hysterical cats" "Cynical cats, rabbinical cats" "Jellicle Songs for Jellicle Cats" "Jellicle Songs for Jellicle Cats" "Jellicle Songs for Jellicle Cats" "Jellicle Songs for Jellicle Cats Jellicle Songs for Jellicle Cats" "There's a man over there With a look of surprise" "As much as to say Well, now, how about that?" "Do I actually see With my own very eyes" "A man who's not heard Of a Jellicle Cat?" "What's a Jellicle Cat?" "What's a Jellicle Cat?" "What's a Jellicle Cat?" "The naming of cats Is a difficult matter" "It isn't just one Of your holiday games" "You may think at first I'm as mad as a hatter" "When I tell you a cat Must have three different names" "First of all there's the name That the family use daily" "Such as Peter, Augustus Alonzo or James" "Such as Victor or Jonathan George or Bill Bailey" "All of them Sensible, everyday names" "There are fancier names If you think they sound sweeter" "Some for the gentlemen Some for the dames" "Such as Plato, Admetus Electra, Demeter" "But all of them sensible Everyday names" "But I tell you, a cat Needs a name that's particular" "A name that's peculiar And more dignified" "Else how can he keep up His tail perpendicular" "Or spread out his whiskers Or cherish his pride?" "Of names of this kind I can give you a quorum" "Such as Munkustrap, Quaxo Or Coricopat" "Such as Bombalurina Or else, Jellylorum" "Names that never belong To more than one cat" "But above and beyond There's still one name left over" "And that is the name That you never will guess" "The name that no human research Can discover" "But the cat himself knows And will never confess" "When you notice a cat In profound meditation" "The reason, I tell you, Is always the same" "His mind is engaged In a rapt contemplation" "Of the thought, of the thought" "Of the thought of his name" "His ineffable" "Effable" "Effanineffable" "Deep and inscrutable" "Singular" "Name..." "Name..." "Name..." "Name..." "Jellicle Cats come out tonight" "Jellicle Cats come one, come all" "The Jellicle Moon is shining bright" "Jellicles come to the Jellicle Ball" "Jellicle Cats come out tonight" "Jellicles come to the Jellicle Ball" "Jellicle Cats meet once a year" "At the Jellicle Ball Where we all rejoice" "And the Jellicle Leader Will soon appear" "And make what is known As the Jellicle Choice" "When Old Deuteronomy Just before dawn" "Through a silence you feel You could cut with a knife" "Announces the cat Who can now be reborn" "And come back to a different Jellicle Life" "For waiting up there Is the Heaviside Layer" "Full of wonders One Jellicle only will see" "And Jellicles ask Because Jellicles dare" "Who will it be?" "Who will it be?" "I have a Gumbie Cat in mind" "Her name is Jennyanydots" "Her coat is of the tabby kind" "With tiger stripes And leopard spots" "All day she sits beneath the stair" "Or on the steps or on the mat" "She sits and sits and sits and sits" "And that's what makes a Gumbie Cat" "That's what makes a Gumbie Cat" "But when the day's hustle And bustle is done" "Then the Gumbie Cat's work Is but hardly begun" "And when all the family's In bed and asleep" "She tucks up her skirts To the basement to creep" "She is deeply concerned With the ways of the mice" "Their behaviour's not good And their manners not nice" "So when she has got them Lined up on the matting" "She teaches them Music, crocheting and tatting" "I have a Gumbie Cat in mind" "Her name is Jennyanydots" "The curtain cord she likes to wind" "And tie it into sailor knots" "She sits upon the window-sill" "Or anything that's smooth and flat" "She sits and sits and sits and sits" "And that's what makes a Gumbie Cat" "That's what makes a Gumbie Cat" "But when the day's hustle And bustle is done" "Then the Gumbie Cat's work Is but hardly begun" "She thinks that the cockroaches Just need employment" "To prevent them from Idle and wanton destroyment" "So she's formed from that lot Of disorderly louts" "A troop of well-disciplined Helpful boy scouts" "With a purpose in life And a good deed to do" "And she's even created" "A beetles tattoo!" "( Rule Britannia )" "Squad salute!" "For she's A jolly good fellow..." "Thank you, my dears" "Miaow" "Miaow" "The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious cat" "If you offer me pheasant I'd rather have grouse" "If you put me in a house I would much prefer a flat" "If you put me in a flat Then I'd rather have a house" "If you set me on a mouse Then I only want a rat" "If you set me on a rat Then I'd rather chase a mouse" "The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious cat" "And there isn't any call For me to shout it" "For he will do as he do do" "And there's no doing anything About it" "The Rum Tum Tugger Is a terrible bore" "When you let me in Then I want to go out" "I'm always on the wrong side Of every door" "And as soon as I get home Then I'd like to get about" "I like to lie in a bureau drawer" "But I make such a fuss If I can't get out" "The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious cat" "And there isn't any use For you to doubt it" "For he will do as he do do" "And there's no doing Anything about it" "The Rum Tum Tugger Is a curious beast" "My disobliging ways Are a matter of habit" "Now if you offer me fish Then I always want a feast" "And if there isn't any fish Then I won't eat rabbit" "If you offer me cream Then I sniff and sneer" "For I only like What I find for myself..." "No" "So you catch me in it up to my ears And put it on the larder shelf" "The Rum Tum Tugger Is artful and knowing" "The Rum Tum Tugger Doesn't care for a cuddle" "So I'll on up into your sewing" "Cos there's nothing I enjoy like a horrible muddle" "The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious cat" "The Rum Tum Tugger Doesn't care for a cuddle" "The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious cat" "And there isn't any need For me to spout it" "For he will do as he do do" "And there's no" "Doing anything" "About... (Miaowing)" "About... (Miaowing)" "About... (Screaming)" "About it" "Remark the cat" "Who hesitates towards you" "In the light of the dawn" "Which opens on her" "Like a grin" "You see the border Of her coat is torn" "And stained with sand" "And you see the corner of her eye" "Twist like a crooked pin" "She haunted many a low resort" "Near the grimy road Of Tottenham Court" "She flitted about the no man's land" "From The Rising Sun To The Friend at Hand" "And the postman sighed As he scratched his head" "You'd really have thought She'd ought to be dead" "And who would ever suppose" "That that" "Was Grizabella" "The Glamour Cat?" "Grizabella the Glamour Cat" "Grizabella the Glamour Cat" "Who would have ever supposed" "That that" "Was Grizabella" "The Glamour Cat?" "Bustopher Jones Is not skin and bones" "In fact, he's remarkably fat" "He doesn't haunt pubs He has eight or nine clubs" "For he's the St James's Street Cat" "He's the cat we all greet As he walks down the street" "In his coat of fastidious black" "No commonplace mousers Have such well-cut trousers" "Or such an impeccable back" "In the whole of St James's The smartest of names is" "The name of this Brummell of cats" "And we're all of us proud To be nodded or bowed to" "By Bustopher Jones in white spats" "In the whole of St James's The smartest of names is" "The name of this Brummell of cats" "And we're all of us proud To be nodded or bowed to" "By Bustopher Jones In white spats" "My visits are occasional To the Senior Educational" "And it is against the rules" "For any one cat To belong both to that" "And the Joint Superior Schools" "For a similar reason When game is in season" "I'm found not at Fox's, but Blimp's" "I am frequently seen At the gay Stage and Screen" "Which is famous For winkles and shrimps" "In the season of venison I give my ben'son" "To the Pothunter's succulent bones" "And just before noon's Not a moment too soon" "To drop in for a drink" "At the Drones" "When I'm seen in a hurry There's probably curry" "At the Siamese or at the Glutton" "If I look full of gloom Then I've lunched at the Tomb" "On cabbage, rice pudding" "And mutton" "In the whole of St James's The smartest of names is" "The name of this Brummell of cats" "And we're all of us proud To be nodded or bowed to" "By Bustopher Jones in white" "Bustopher Jones in white" "Bustopher Jones in white spats" "So much in this way Passes Bustopher's day" "At one club or another he's found" "It can be no surprise That under our eyes" "He has grown unmistakably round" "He's a twenty-five pounder Or I am a bounder" "And he's putting on weight Every day" "But I'm so well-preserved Because I've observed" "All me life a routine, and I'd say" "I am still in me prime I shall last out me time" "That's the word From this stoutest of cats" "It must and it shall Be spring in Pall Mall" "While Bustopher Jones wears white" "Bustopher Jones wears white" "Bustopher Jones Wears white spats" "Toodlepip!" "(Thunder rolls)" "(Police siren )" "Macavity!" "(Car brakes screech)" "(Car accelerates away )" " (Woman laughs )" " Shh!" "(Woman laughs )" "Mungojerrie And Rumpleteazer" "We're a notorious couple of cats" "As knockabout clowns Quick-change comedians" "Tightrope walkers and acrobats" "We have an extensive reputation" "We make our home in Victoria Grove" "This is merely our centre Of operation" "For we are incurably given to rove" "When the family assembles For Sunday dinner" "Their minds made up That they won't get thinner" "On Argentine joint Potatoes and greens" "And the cook would appear From behind the scenes" "And say in a voice That is broken with sorrow" ""I'm afraid you must wait And have dinner tomorrow" ""The joint has gone From the oven like that!"" "Then the family will say "It's that horrible cat!" ""Was it Mungojerrie Or Rumpleteazer!"" "And most of the time They leave it at that" "Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer" "Have a wonderful way Of working together" "And some of the time You would say it was luck" "And some of the time You would say it was weather" "We'd go through the house Like a hurricane" "And no sober person Could take his oath" "Was it Mungojerrie Or Rumpleteazer?" "Or could you have sworn That it might have been both?" "And when you hear A dining room smash" "Or up from the pantry There comes a loud crash" "Or down from the library Came a loud ping" "From a vase which was commonly" "Said to be Ming" "Then the family will say "Now which was which cat?"" "It was Mungojerrie" "And Rumpleteazer" "And there's nothing at all To be done about that" "And there's nothing at all To be done about that" "Old Deuteronomy?" "I believe it is Old Deuteronomy" "Well, of all things" "Can it be really?" "Yes!" "No!" "Ho!" "Hi!" "My eye!" "My mind may be wandering But I confess" "I believe it is Old Deuteronomy" "Old Deuteronomy's lived a long time" "He's a cat who has lived Many lives in succession" "He was famous in proverb And famous in rhyme" "A long while before Queen Victoria's accession" "Old Deuteronomy's buried nine wives" "And more" " I am tempted To say ninety-nine" "And his numerous progeny Prospers and thrives" "And the village is proud of him In his decline" "At the sight of that placid And bland physiognomy" "When he sits in the sun" "On the vicarage wall" "The oldest inhabitant croaks" "Well, of all things" "Can it be really?" "Yes!" "No!" "Ho!" "Hi!" "My eye!" "My mind may be wandering But I confess" "I believe it is Old Deuteronomy" "Well, of all things" "Can it be really?" "Yes!" "No!" "Ho!" "Hi!" "My eye!" "My mind may be wandering But I confess" "I believe it is Old Deuteronomy" "Well, of all things Can it be really?" "Yes!" "No!" "Ho!" "Hi!" "My eye!" "My mind may be wandering But I confess" "I believe it is Old Deuteronomy" "Well, of all things" "Can it be really?" "Yes!" "No!" "Ho!" "Hi!" "My eye!" "My legs may be tottery And I must go slow" "And be careful" "Of Old Deuteronomy" "Jellicle Cats meet once a year" "On the night we make The Jellicle Choice" "And now that the Jellicle Leader is here" "Jellicle Cats can all rejoice" "Of the awe-full battle of the Pekes And the Pollicles" "Together with some account" "Of the participation Of the Pugs and the Poms" "And the intervention" "Of the Great" "Rumpus Cat" "The Pekes and the Pollicles Everyone knows" "Are proud and implacable Passionate foes" "It is always the same Wherever one goes" "And the Pugs and the Poms Are the most people say" "That they do not like fighting Yet once in a way" "They now and again Join into the fray, and they" "Bark Bark" "Bark Bark" "Until you can hear them All over the park" "Now, on the occasion Of which I shall speak" "Almost nothing had happened For nearly a week" "The big Police Dog Was away from his beat" "I don't know the reason But most people think" "He slipped into the Wellington Arms for a drink" "And no one at all Was about on the street" "When a Peke and a Pollicle Happened to meet" "They did not advance Or exactly retreat" "But they glared at each other And scraped their hind feet" "And started to Bark, bark, bark, bark, bark, bark" "Until you could hear them All over the park" "And they'd Bark, bark, bark, bark, bark, bark" "Until you could hear them All over the park" "Now, the Peke, although people May say what they please" "Is no British dog But a heathen Chinese" "And so all the Pekes When they heard the uproar" "Some came to the window Some came to the door" "There were surely a dozen More likely a score" "And together they started To grumble and wheeze" "In their huffery-snuffery Heathen Chinese" "But a terrible din Is what Pollicles like" "For your Pollicle dog Is a dour Yorkshire tyke" "There are dogs out of every nation The Irish, the Welsh and the Dane" "The Russian, Dutch and Dalmatian And even from China and Spain" "From the Poodle, the Pom The Alsatian" "And the Mastiff Who walks on a chain" "And to those that are frisky And frolicle" "That my meaning be perfectly plain" "That my name is Little Tom Pollicle And you better not do it again" "And his braw Scottish cousins Are snappers and biters" "And every dog-jack of them Notable fighters" "And so they stepped out With their pipers in order" "Playin' When the Blue Bonnets Come Over the Border" "Then the Pugs and the Poms Held no longer aloof" "But some from the balcony Some from the roof" "Joined into the din with a Bark, bark, bark, bark, bark, bark" "Until you could hear them All over the park" "Huffery-snuffery, huffery-snuffery" "Huffery-snuffery, huffery-snuff" "Until you could hear them All over the park" "Now!" "When these bold heroes Together assembled" "The traffic all stopped And the Underground trembled" "And some of the neighbours Were so much afraid" "That they started to ring up The fire brigade" "When suddenly up From a small basement flat" "Why, who should stalk out" "But the Great Rumpus Cat?" "His eyes were like fireballs" "Fearfully blazing" "He gave a great yawn" "And his jaws were amazing" "And when he looked out Through the bars of the area" "You never saw anything" "Fiercer" "Or hairier" "And what with the glare Of his eyes and his yawning" "The Pekes and the Pollicles Quickly took warning" "He looked to the sky And he gave a great leap" "And they every last one of them Scattered like sheep" "And when the Police Dog Returned to his beat" "There wasn't a single one Left on the street" "All hail and all bow to" "The Great Rumpus Cat" "Jellicle Cats and dogs all must" "Pollicle Dogs and cats all must" "Like undertakers, come to dust" "(Thunder rolls)" "Macavity!" "Jellicle Cats come out tonight" "Jellicle Cats, come one, come all" "The Jellicle Moon is shining bright" "Jellicles come to the Jellicle Ball" "Jellicle Cats are black and white" "Jellicle Cats are rather small" "Jellicle Cats are merry and bright" "And pleasant to hear When we caterwaul" "Jellicle Cats have cheerful faces" "Jellicle Cats Have bright black eyes" "We like to practise Our airs and graces" "And wait for the Jellicle Moon to rise" "Jellicle Cats develop slowly" "Jellicle Cats are not too big" "Jellicle Cats are roly-poly" "We know how to dance A gavotte and a jig" "Until the Jellicle Moon appears" "We make our toilette And take our repose" "Jellicles wash behind their ears" "Jellicles dry between their toes" "Jellicle Cats are white and black" "Jellicle Cats are of moderate size" "Jellicles jump like a jumping jack" "Jellicle Cats have moonlit eyes" "We're quiet enough In the morning hours" "We're quiet enough In the afternoon" "Reserving our terpsichorean powers" "To dance by the light Of the Jellicle Moon" "Jellicle Cats are black And white" "Jellicle Cats, As we said, are small" "If it happens to be a stormy night" "We will practise a caper Or two in the hall" "If it happens the sun Is shining bright" "You would say we had Nothing to do at all" "We are resting and saving Ourselves to be right" "For the Jellicle Moon And the Jellicle Ball" "Jellicle Cats come out tonight" "Jellicle Cats, come one, come all" "The Jellicle Moon is shining bright" "Jellicles come to the Jellicle Ball" "Jellicle Cats come out tonight" "Jellicle Cats, come one, come all" "The Jellicle Moon is shining bright" "Jellicles come To the Jellicle Ball..." "(Music stops abruptly)" "You see the border of her coat" "Is torn and stained with sand" "And you see" "The corner of her eye" "Twist like a crooked pin" "Midnight" "Not a sound from the pavement" "Has the moon lost her memory?" "She is smiling alone" "In the lamplight" "The withered leaves Collect at my feet" "And the wind" "Begins to moan" "Every street lamp" "Seems to beat" "A fatalistic warning" "Someone mutters" "And the street lamp gutters" "And soon it will be morning" "Memory" "All alone in the moonlight" "I can smile at the old days" "I was beautiful then" "I remember the time I knew" "What happiness was" "Let the memory" "Live again" "The moments of happiness" "We had the experience" "But missed the meaning" "And approach to the meaning" "Restores the experience In a different form" "Beyond any meaning" "We can assign to happiness" "The past experience" "Revived in the meaning" "Is not the experience" "Of one life only" "But of many generations" "Not forgetting" "Something that is" "Probably quite ineffable" "Moonlight" "Turn your face to the moonlight" "Let your memory lead you" "Open up, enter in" "If you find there" "The meaning of what happiness is" "Then a new life" "Will begin" "Moonlight" "Turn your face to the moonlight" "Let your memory lead you" "Open up, enter in" "If you find there" "The meaning of what happiness is" "Then a new life" "Will begin" "Gus is the cat At the theatre door" "His name, as I ought to Have told you before" "Is really Asparagus" "But that's such a fuss to pronounce" "That we usually call him just Gus" "His coat's very shabby He's thin as a rake" "And he suffers from palsy That makes his paws shake" "Yet he was in his youth Quite the smartest of cats" "But no longer a terror To mice or to rats" "For he isn't the cat That he was in his prime" "Though his name was quite famous, He says, in his time" "And whenever he joins His friends at their club" "Which takes place at the back Of the neighbouring pub" "He loves to regale them If someone else pays" "With anecdotes drawn From his palmiest days" "For he once was a star Of the highest degree" "He has acted with Irving He has acted with tree" "And he likes to relate His success on the halls" "Where the gallery once gave him" "Seven cat calls" "But his grandest creation" "As he loves to tell" "Was Firefrorefiddle" "The Fiend of the Fell" "I have played in my time" "Every possible part" "And I used to know seventy Speeches by heart" "I'd extemporise backchat" "I knew how to gag" "And I knew how to let the cat Out of the bag" "I knew how to act With my back and my tail" "With an hour of rehearsal I never could fail" "I'd a voice that would soften The hardest of hearts" "Whether I took the lead Or in character parts" "I have sat by the bedside Of poor little Nell" "When the curfew was rung Then I swung on the bell" "In the pantomime season I never fell flat" "And I once understudied Dick Whittington's Cat" "But my grandest creation" "As history will tell" "Was Firefrorefiddle" "The Fiend of the Fell" "Then if someone will give him A toothful of gin" "He will tell how he once played A part in East Lynne" "At a Shakespeare performance He once walked on pat" "When some actor suggested The need for a cat" "And I say that these kittens They do not get trained" "As we did in the days When Victoria reigned" "They never get drilled In a regular troupe" "And they think they are smart Just to jump through a hoop" "And he says as he scratches himself With his claws" "Well, the theatre is certainly Not what it was" "These modern productions Are all very well" "But there's nothing to equal From what I hear tell" "That moment of mystery" "When I made history" "As Firefrorefiddle" "The Fiend of the Fell... (Music fades away, ghostly wind)" "These modern productions" "Are all very well" "But there's nothing to equal" "From what I hear tell" "That moment of mystery" "When I made..." "Skimbleshanks The Railway Cat" "The cat of the railway train" "There's a whisper down the line At eleven thirty-nine" "When the Night Mail's Ready to depart" "Saying Skimble, where is Skimble?" "Has he gone to hunt the thimble?" "We must find him Or the train can't start" "All the guards and all the porters And the stationmaster's daughters" "Would be searching high and low" "Saying, "Skimble, where is Skimble?" "For unless he's very nimble" ""Then the Night Mail just can't go"" "At eleven forty-two With the signal overdue" "And the passengers All frantic to a man" "That's when I would appear And I'd saunter to the rear" "I'd been busy in the luggage van" "Then he gave one flash Of his glass-green eyes" "And the signal went all clear" "They'd be off at last For the northern part" "Of the northern hemisphere" "Skimbleshanks the Railway Cat" "The cat of the railway train" "You could say that by and large It was me who was in charge" "Of the Sleeping Car Express" "From the driver and the guards To the bagmen playing cards" "I'd supervise them all More or less" "Down the corridor he paces And examines all the faces" "Of the travellers In the First and the Third" "He establishes control By a regular patrol" "And he'd know at once If anything occurred" "He would watch you without winking And he saw what you were thinking" "And it's certain That he didn't approve" "Of hilarity and riot So that folk were very quiet" "When Skimble was about And on the move" "You could play no pranks With Skimbleshanks" "He's a cat that cannot be ignored" "So nothing went wrong On the Northern Mail" "When Skimbleshanks was aboard" "It was very pleasant When they found their little den" "With their name Written up on the door" "And the berth was very neat With a newly folded sheet" "And not a speck of dust On the floor" "There was every sort of light You could make it dark or bright" "And a button you could turn To make a breeze" "And a funny little basin You're supposed to wash your face in" "And a crank to shut The window should you sneeze" "Then the guard looked in politely And would ask you very brightly" "Do you like your morning tea Weak or strong?" "But I was just behind him And was ready to remind him" "For Skimble won't let Anything go wrong" "When they crept into Their cosy berths" "And pulled down the counterpane" "They ought to reflect It was very nice" "To know that they wouldn't Be bothered by mice" "They would leave all that To the Railway Cat" "The cat of the railway train" "Skimbleshanks the Railway Cat" "The cat of the railway train" "Skimbleshanks the Railway Cat" "The cat of the railway train" "In the watches of the night I was always fresh and bright" "Every now and then I'd have a cup of tea" "With perhaps a drop of Scotch When I was keeping on the watch" "Only stopping here and there To catch a flea" "They were fast asleep at Crewe And so they never knew" "That I was walking Up and down the station" "They were sleeping all the while I was busy at Carlisle" "Where I met the station master With elation" "They might see me at Dumfries If I summoned the police" "If there was anything They ought to know about" "When they got to Gallowgate There they did not have to wait" "For Skimbleshanks will help them To get out" "And he" "Gives you a wave Of his long brown tail" "Which says I'll see you again" "You will meet without fail On the midnight mail" "The cat of the railway train" "The cat of the railway" "Train" "(Crashing and banging)" "(Sinister laughter)" "(Crash)" "Macavity!" "(Laughing)" "Macavity's a mystery cat" "He's called the Hidden Paw" "For he's the master criminal" "Who can defy the law" "He's the bafflement Of Scotland Yard" "The Flying Squad's despair" "For when they reach The scene of crime" "Macavity's not there!" "Macavity, Macavity There's no one like Macavity" "He's broken every human law" "He breaks the law of gravity" "His powers of levitation" "Would make a fakir stare" "And when you reach the scene of crime" "Macavity's not there" "You may seek him in the basement" "You may look up in the air" "But I tell you once and once again Macavity's not there!" "Macavity's a ginger cat" "He's very tall and thin" "You would know him if you saw him" "For his eyes are sunken in" "His brow is deeply Lined with thought" "His head is highly domed" "His coat is dusty from neglect" "His whiskers are uncombed" "He sways his head from side to side" "With movements like a snake" "And when you think he's half asleep" "He's always wide awake" "Macavity, Macavity There's no one like Macavity" "For he's a fiend in feline shape" "A monster of depravity" "You may meet him in a by-street" "You may see him in the square" "But when a crime's discovered Then Macavity's not there" "He's outwardly respectable" "I know he cheats at cards" "And his footprints are not found in" "Any files of Scotland Yard's" "And when the larder's looted" "Or the jewel case is rifled" "Or when the milk is missing" "Or another Peke's been stifled" "Or the greenhouse glass is broken" "And the trellis past repair" "There's the wonder of the thing Macavity's not there!" "Macavity, Macavity There's no one like Macavity" "There never was a cat" "Of such deceitfulness and suavity" "He always has an alibi" "And one or two to spare" "Whatever time the deed took place Macavity wasn't there" "And they say that all the cats" "Whose wicked deeds are widely known" "I might mention Mungojerrie" "I might mention Griddlebone" "Are nothing more than agents" "For the cat who all the time" "Just controls the operations" "The Napoleon of Crime!" "Macavity, Macavity There's no one like Macavity" "He's a fiend in feline shape" "A monster of depravity" "You may meet him in a by-street" "You may see him in the square" "But when a crime's discovered Then Macavity" "Macavity" "Macavity" "Macavity" "When a crime's discovered Then Macavity's not there" "(Music stops abruptly)" "(Sinister laughter)" "(Cats ) Macavity!" "(Cats whisper) Macavity's not there." "We have to find" "Old Deuteronomy" "You ought to ask Magical Mr Mistoffelees" "The original Conjuring Cat There can be no doubt about that" "Please listen to me And don't scoff" "All his inventions Are off his own bat" "There's no such cat in the metropolis He holds all the patent monopolies" "For performing surprising illusions" "And creating eccentric confusions" "The greatest magicians Have something to learn" "From Mr Mistoffelees' Conjuring turn" "And we all say" "Well, I never Was there ever a cat so clever" "As magical Mr Mistoffelees" "He is quiet, he is small, He is black" "From his ears To the tip of his tail" "He can creep Through the tiniest crack" "He can walk on the narrowest rail" "He can pick any card from the pack" "He's equally cunning with dice" "He's always deceiving you Into believing" "That he's only hunting for mice" "He can play any trick with a cork" "Or a spoon and a bit of fish paste" "If you look for a knife or a fork" "And you think That it's merely misplaced" "You have seen it one moment But then it is gone" "But you find it next week Laying out on the lawn" "And we all say" "Well, I never Was there ever a cat so clever" "As magical Mr Mistoffelees Presto!" "Well, I never Was there ever a cat so clever" "As magical Mr Mistoffelees" "Well, I never Was there ever a cat so clever" "As magical Mr Mistoffelees" "His manner is vague and aloof" "And you would think There was nobody shyer" "But his voice can be Heard on the roof" "While he was curled up by the fire" "And he's sometimes Been heard by the fire" "While he was about on the roof" "At least we all heard That somebody purred" "Which is incontestable proof" "Of his singular magical powers" "And I've known the family to call" "Him in from the garden for hours" "While he was asleep in the hall" "And not long ago This phenomenal cat" "Produced seven kittens" "Right out of a hat" "And we all say" "Well, I never Was there ever a cat so clever" "As magical Mr Mistoffelees..." "(Laughter)" "Magical!" "And not long ago, This phenomenal cat" "Produced seven kittens" "Right out of a hat... (Drum roll)" "(Drum roll)" "(Cats gasp )" "And we all say" "Well, I never" "Was there ever a cat so clever" "As magical Mr Mistoffelees" "Well, I never Was there ever a cat so clever" "As magical Mr Mistoffelees" "Well, I never Was there ever a cat so clever" "As magical Mr Mistoffelees..." "Mystical!" "Well, I never Was there ever a cat so clever..." "Magical!" "Mystical!" "Well, I never Was there ever a cat so clever" "As magical Mr Mistoffelees" "I give you the magical..." "The marvellous..." "Mr Mistoffelees!" "Daylight" "See the dew on a sunflower" "And a rose that is fading" "Roses wither away" "Like the sunflower" "I yearn to turn my face to the dawn" "I am waiting" "For the day..." "Now Old Deuteronomy" "Just before dawn" "Through a silence you feel You could cut with a knife" "Announces the cat Who can now be reborn" "And come back to a different Jellicle Life" "Memory" "Turn your face to the moonlight" "Let your memory lead you" "Open up, enter in" "If you find there" "The meaning of what happiness is" "Then a new life" "Will begin" "Memory" "All alone in the moonlight" "I can smile at the old days" "I was beautiful then" "I remember" "A time I knew what happiness was" "Let the memory" "Live again" "Burnt out ends of smoky days" "The stale cold smell" "Of morning" "The street lamp dies" "Another night is over" "Another day" "Is dawning" "Daylight" "I must wait for the sunrise" "I must think of the new life" "And I mustn't give in" "When the dawn comes" "Tonight will be a memory, too" "And the new day" "Will begin" "Sunlight through the trees In summer" "Endless masquerading" "Like a flower As the dawn is breaking" "The memory" "Is fading" "Touch me" "It's so easy to leave me" "All alone with the memory" "Of my days in the sun" "If you touch me" "You'll understand what happiness is" "Look, a new day" "Has begun" "Up up up Past the Russell Hotel" "Up up up up To the Heaviside Layer" "Up up up Past the Russell Hotel" "Up up up up To the Heaviside Layer" "Up up up Past the Russell Hotel" "Up up up up To the Heaviside Layer" "Up up up Past the Russell Hotel" "Up up up up To the Heaviside Layer" "Up up up Past the Jellicle Moon" "Up up up up To the Heaviside Layer" "Up up up Past the Jellicle Moon" "Up up up up To the Heaviside Layer" "The mystical divinity" "Of unashamed felinity" "Round the cathedral" "Rang vivat" "Life to" "The everlasting" "Cat" "You've heard of Several kinds of cat" "And my opinion now is that" "You should need no interpreter" "To understand our character" "You've learned enough To take the view" "That cats are very much like you" "You've seen us both At work and games" "And learnt about our proper names" "Our habits and our habitat" "But how would you" "Address a cat?" "So first" "Your memory I'll jog" "And say a cat" "Is not a dog" "So first" "Your memory I'll jog" "And say a cat" "Is not a dog" "With cats" "Some say one rule is true" "Don't speak till you" "Are spoken to" "Myself, I do not hold with that" "I say you should address a cat" "But always keep in mind that he" "Resents familiarity" "You bow" "And taking off your hat" "Address him in" "This form" ""Cat!"" "Before a cat will condescend" "To treat you as a trusted friend" "Some little token of esteem" "Is needed, like a dish of cream" "And you might now and then supply" "Some caviar or Strassburg Pie" "Some potted grouse or salmon paste" "He's sure to have His personal taste" "And so in time you reach your aim" "And call him" "By his name" "A cat's entitled to expect" "These evidences of respect" "So this is this" "And that is that" "And there's how you address a cat" "A cat's entitled to expect" "These evidences of respect" "So this is this" "And that is that" "And there's how you address" "A Cat"