"Oh!" "Hold on." "I'm coming." "All right." "Increased productivity through ergonomically beneficial surroundings." "Oh." "In the spirit of ergonomy." "Is that even a word?" "Ergonomy is the applied science of equipment design, Michael." "Okay." "Well, then, in the spirit of origami, you ever think about making your backseat into a bed, KITT?" "I'm afraid you'd be tempted to invite strangers." "You mean, hoochies, KITT." "Undesirable females, yes." "This puppy has got a cooler built into the armrest." "And a remote for the big screen." "Ah." "That is sweet." "Chair belongs on the other side." "I like it where it is." "Move it, stretch." "The Chinese system of Feng Shui would indicate that" "Zoe's placement provides for better chi." "Very Zen of you, KITT." "We could use a little more eastern philosophy around here." "See?" "Better chi." "Chop, chop." "Who died and made you boss?" "That would be Alex Torres." "I see you're already enjoying your downtime." "Oh, I have not yet begun to enjoy." "Going anywhere special?" "Oh, yeah." "Little sentimental journey." "Wait." "We get to go somewhere?" "Outlet mall." "Spa day." "You guys are kidding, right?" "I am going to be mellow and get Zen." "You mean "we," Michael." "Yes, "we." We are going, KITT." "Back to a special place." "Magical place." "Our own little happy place." "Michael is taking me to a bar." "Who would have thunk it?" "I want to go to a bar!" "Oh, no." "Not just any bar." "Sonny's." "Oh, I get it." "Your dad took me there for my first beer." "And his dad took him there for his." "It's a neighborhood institution." "Cold brew, beer nuts, live music." "Run by Sonny Nelson." "Amazing bartender." "Even better guy." "I haven't been there in years, but I can tell you that there is no better place to de-stress." "Sounds awesome." "I'm a veritable cornucopia of stress." "From what I remember, Sonny had a daughter." "Oh, yeah." "Julie Nelson." "She went to med school, I think." "Somewhere back east." "Right." "Have a great time." "You too, guys." "Initiating launch prep." "Hello?" "Hey." "We'd better tell him." "Or else he might have a breakdown." "Somebody, please!" "Say something." "Look, we're going on rotation." "Everyone's going to get a chance to decompress." "First, Mike's going to take a couple of days, and then you and then Zoe and then me." "When's this all going to start?" "Ask your boss." "Okay, not funny." "No, Billy." "Funny." "Little rougher than I remembered." "I must admit, I'm somewhat concerned for you, Michael." "I'll be okay, KITT." "Just stay close." "And be Zen." "I will try." "You'rejustaman" "Wait, because I'm inside out now" "Crazy, you know I'm not outside, around" "Try, you can find my body of questions on your own" "Falling intentions" "Brings me from my misery" "Just as I stand up" "If you're here about the bouncer job, you're too pretty." "No." "I'm actually here to see Sonny." "Yeah, right." "If you're a collection agent, you can get in line." "I'm sorry?" "Sonny's dead." "What?" "Michael?" "Oh, my God." "Michael." "Hey." "Julie!" "I didn't know you were friends." "Is it true?" "About your dad?" "Yeah." "Car accident." "Three months ago." "I am so sorry." "Thank you." "Michael, a nefarious character directly behind you is attempting to steal $20 from the bar." "What the hell is going on around here?" "I wish I knew." "We've had three fires in the last six weeks." "Fights, every night." "The cops have been closing us down." "What can I do to help?" "Can you fix the mess at the door?" "Sometimes, Eddie's a little bit too nice for his own good." " Big Eddie's at the door?" " Mmm-hmm." "Eddie's a pacifist." "I know." "Man!" "Hey." "The dude who left this unattended is going to be taking public transportation for a while." "Please step back from the vehicle." "Hey." "Homeboy has got one of those talking alarms." "Yeah." "At least you'd think they'd give it some badass voice, like, "Step back, clown, before you get smoked!"" "Michael, two felons are eyeing me suspiciously." "Permission to administer non-lethal electric shock." "What did I say about Zen, KITT?" "Restraint is the word of the day." "All right, Michael." "Oh, my God, dude." "You just got schooled!" "Michael, may I suggest you use restraint, as well?" "Watch me." "That's $10 each, please." "Well, I get comped at every club on the strip." "Why would I pay to go into this place?" "Hey." "This constant pushing is not helping your cause." "Ooh." "Nearly everyone at the door is armed." "All right." "You're forcing my hand." "Can I talk to you for a second?" "Could you hold on one moment, please?" "Mike?" "Hey, Eddie." "What are you doing over here?" "I've been wondering the same thing." "All right." "Any day now, dummy." "I didn't want to resort to violence, but I feel as though I've reached my limit." "You mind a little assist?" "Because..." "Ooh." "You're violating the cardinal rule of the door." "You never tell the bad guy what you're going to do before you do it." "Screw this." "We're going in." "He's got a gun in his waistband, Michael." "Back up!" "That was not smart." "Good night, gentlemen." "Let's go." "Anybody fighting inside, walk them outside." "Take them one at a time." "Yell if you need any help." "Thanks, Mike." "Michael, I was harassed by two men." "Me, too." "Get Sarah." "How many you knock back so far?" "KITT, don't let him drive." "Sonny's dead." "Oh, no." "A car accident." "And the place isn't right." "Mysterious fires, rough crowd." "A mess." "Sonny's never was in the best neighborhood." "Maybe you romanticized it a little." "I'm telling you something's going on here, Sarah." "I need your help." "Sure." "Anything." "KITT, tap into the local municipal database." "Send the accident report, arson files, and anything else you can dig up back to the SSC." "You guys getting this?" "Yeah, yeah." "We're on it." "So, what are you doing there?" "I'm the new bouncer." "Bouncer?" "Kick ass." "Be careful." "Let's get to work on those fires." "No, we should start on the car accident." "Begin a broad-spectrum search." "I'm sorry, what?" "Sarah was only half joking." "She runs the place because Dr. Graiman left her nine figures." "Mike and KITT do the outside stuff, and I'm in charge of all this glory right here." "You?" "You're my boss?" "Haven't you noticed I boss you around almost all day, every day?" "Yeah, but it's part of our whole fun little dynamic." "No, it's me being your boss." "I have multiple advanced degrees." "I speak nine languages and I have a card that gets me discounts at participating Red Lobster restaurants." "Okay." "If this wasn't so ludicrous, it would be ludicrous." "All right." "I'm on the accident, you look into the fires, and we'll see who's right soon enough." "It's on." "It's all the way on." "All right, folks." "You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here." "Come on." "Let's go." "Come back tomorrow." "Let's go." "Didn't think you'd last the night." "Under-promise and over-deliver." "I'm Mike." "Robin." "Beer?" "Nothing like a cold beer right after last call." "Michael helped my dad 86 some tough customers back in the day." "Yeah, it was more him than me." "Sonny was a sweet guy, but he had one hot temper." "Well, thank God you showed up tonight." "I'm barely hanging on." "It was never like this before." "It's like somebody wants her out of here." "Any idea who that might be?" "Maybe I'm not cut out for this like my dad." "I seriously doubt it's you." "Did you two have a thing?" "Robin, come on." "Julie was a college girl." "On to bigger and better things." "She thought I was a punk." "You know, the kind of guy that hangs out in bars." "You didn't answer my question." "She calls you Michael, but you introduced yourself as Mike." "Are either of you going to cop to prior nookie, or what?" "Go on." "You think you might be able to stick around a little while longer?" "I'm sure I can squeeze it into my schedule." "Good." "Staff meeting." "Tomorrow morning. 11:00 a.m." "Good night, Julie." "Good night, Michael." "See you tomorrow, Mike." "Night, Eddie." "What?" "Nothing." "You getting shut out?" "Three fires in the last two months of unknown origin." "Police did an arson investigation and came up empty." "But you have a theory." "Spontaneous combustion." "Or maybe it's the tiny, chubby gnomes whose thighs rub together and make sparks when they wear corduroy?" "I suppose you're doing better with the car accident." "Patience, grasshopper." "Patience." "Anybody else bother you?" "I was unmolested the remainder of the evening." "Why do you have to use words like "unmolested"?" "Can't you just say, "It was all okay"?" "I managed to practice the restraint you recommended, but it wasn't easy." "Well, I'm proud of you, KITT." "Michael, is it possible you are idealizing Sonny's a bit?" "Maybe you are remembering it the way you want it to be." "Come on." "You, too?" "Thomas Wolfe wrote a novel about this phenomenon." "It was called You Can't Go Home Again." "Still think I'm idealizing?" "Michael, someone is trapped in the fire." "Open up!" "It's Eddie!" "Get me out of here!" "There's a fire!" "Help!" "Oh, no!" "Help!" "Come on, man!" "Please!" "Open up!" "Somebody open up!" "Where is he?" "Michael, the pressurized CO 2 tanks have become dangerously overheated." "You must act now." "Do it." "Get in!" "KITT, CO2." "The fire's out, Michael." "You okay?" "All of his vital signs are normal, Michael." "I'm going to have to ask you not to mention what you saw tonight to anyone." "Thank you." "That is the fourth fire in six weeks." "Doesn't sound much like an accident." "No." "It sounds like arson." "Look." "KITT can investigate while you go to your meeting." "She's hot, by the way." "Who?" "I believe she means Julie, Michael." "I hadn't noticed." "You're a terrible liar." "Three months ago today, Julie's father takes his '68 Dodge out for a spin and ends up wrapping it around a telephone pole." "Anybody with him?" "Nope." "Police report?" "Same basic story." "Witnesses?" "Cops say no." "But I found two blog entries from the neighborhood from the next day." "Both say they saw the car and heard nothing but a crash." "Okay, so it was an accident." "But you've got another theory." "Actually, I don't." "I've hit a dead end, literally and figuratively." "All right." "Let's get started." "First up, seems like we had another fire around closing last night." "Did anybody see anything?" "Mmm-mmm." "No?" "Okay." "Hi, Phil." "Hey." "How's the nose?" "It's broken." "I guess you didn't know who the hell you were assaulting." "Hey." "My son's mouth tends to get a step ahead of his brain." "Mike, isn't it?" "Phil Driscoll." "Phil was an old friend of my dad's." "They were in a car club together." "My son comes home with a broken nose," "I'd never expect to hear it happened at Sonny's." "Before I called the police or my lawyer, I wanted to hear your side." "Sir, I make it a general policy not to raise hands to anyone, unless they plan on throwing shots at me." "I should have broken your nose myself." "Are you kidding me, Pop?" "What's the old saying?" ""Outside of your wife giving birth," ""nothing good ever happens at 2:00 a.m."" "Nice to meet you, Mike." "Sorry for the inconvenience." "Not at all." "Thanks for coming by." "Creepy." "Come to Mama." "Billy?" "Zoe?" "I'm analyzing the aftermath of the fire." "You certain it was arson?" "Yes." "I have isolated the accelerant." "Whoever set the blaze left a chemically significant trail." "Can you follow it?" "Not with my current software configuration." "Uploading new sniffer program now." "I'll do it." "Duh." "I'm already doing it." "Hello?" "Hey." "Which one do you like better?" "What's it for?" "First amendment night." "Spoken word poetry and $2 Jager shots." "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion or prohibiting the free exercise thereof, or abridging the freedom of speech." "They teach you about the constitution in the army?" "I thought it would be good to actually know what I was defending." "My dad called it the marinated microcosm." "Everybody's equal with a drink in their hand." "He was a hell of a guy." "Yeah." "Is that your grandfather?" "Yep." "Built this building with his own two hands." "He still scares me." "Bet he was one mean son of a bitch." "And then, some." "This bar was a soup kitchen in the Great Depression, a polling place every election, a shelter in three earthquakes..." "My dad was even born here." "How come we never..." "For starters, your dad kept a really big bat behind the bar." "It's still there, too." "Great." "I tried calling and emailing." "I even wrote you a letter." "Everything came back undeliverable." "Yeah." "Let's just say I got involved in some things that didn't turn out so well." "I was going to be an ophthalmologist." "Now, I run a bar." "Michael, I've discovered a faint chemical signature from the fire." "But we must follow its trail now before it dissipates completely." "I will see you tonight." "Sonny's used to be a friendly neighborhood bar, right?" "Mmm-hmm." "All of a sudden, it starts to get rougher." "I thought you were working on the fires." "I was." "But what if they're related?" "What makes a crowd change?" "New owner." "Neighborhood goes bad." "They water down the drinks." "Here's the greatest hits from the front door camera at Sonny's for the last three weeks." "Oh, he's cute." "He's also been in four fights." "So?" "He's angry and he's cute." "So, he just started showing up at the bar recently, along with those four other dudes, who've also been getting into fights." "And they're also hot." "It's called coincidence." "It would be." "Except I followed them to the bar." "No twenties." "No credit cards." "Hundred dollar bills every time." "Maybe they're drug dealers." "Or maybe somebody's paying them to start trouble." "And how does this connect to the fires?" "I don't know." "Hey." "There's your 'Stang, bro." "Still in the hood." "It's like he's teasing us." "I'd take that as a dare, I was you." "Yeah." "It's in the same family as methane, but it's getting fainter as we go." "He must have gotten out of his car here." "You need to go hand-held." "KITT, you there?" "Right behind you, Michael." "It just stops." "Whoever set that fire ended up here." "Phil Driscoll's office." "We traced him from the fire back to his father's office." "It's got to be Terry." "He definitely had the opportunity." "Yeah, and a broken nose is definitely motive." "I'd say the motive would be embarrassment." "You made him look weak in front of a beautiful woman." "Yeah, but Terry's a couple tacos short of a combination plate." "You don't think he's capable?" "I think he's a moron." "Hit me back if Billy and Zoe come up with anything." "Hey." "How's Julie Nelson?" "Hanging in there." "Come,lookaround, sit down with us" "Terry's a jerk, but he's not an arsonist." "I heard you went out with him." "Wow." "A bar is like ninth grade summer school, isn't it?" "Yes." "It was once, and it was years ago." "So, maybe he was trying to get your attention." "Nothing like a two-alarm blaze to get a girl all hot and bothered." "Robin's looking." "Of course, she is." "So, what about Terry's father?" "Why would Phil want to burn a place he offered to buy?" "He offered to buy your bar?" "After my dad was killed, he figured I couldn't handle the bar by myself." "And maybe he was right." "You do sit on a valuable piece of dirt." "A place like this is a drop in the bucket to a developer like Phil." "Believe me, he's doing it as a favor." "Sonny Nelson was driving his '68 Dodge the night of the accident." "Nice graphics." "Nice grill." "Thanks." "Where did you get this?" "I recreated his route from the blog descriptions, then re-enacted the accident using KITT's 3D graphics software." "Nice work." "Wait." "I thought we established no foul play in the accident." "That's what the police said." "Not what I say." "He comes around this turn, hits the brakes, gets a little squirrelly, continues until he crashes." "At least we can see the accident." "But what don't we see?" "Remember?" "The bloggers said they heard nothing but a crash." "Skid marks." "Exactly." "He hit the brakes, but the car didn't skid." "No screeching, no skidding." "Because you think he lost his brakes?" "Or somebody cut the brake line." "It's not proof." "You said, "Nice work."" "It's a simulation." "It's not evidence." "It won't hold up in court." "Which is why we need to find the real car." "Hey, Mike." "You really made me think about things." "Introspection is good, Eddie." "I've always thought of you as sort of a simple guy." "And by simple, I mean straightforward, but not very complicated." "No offense intended." "None taken." "I set the fire last night." "I thought if I set it, and put it out, I'd be a hero." "But then, the back door locked on me." "I know." "Stupid, right?" "And nobody put you up to it?" "You saved my life." "Who are you really, Mike?" "Just a guy trying to make things better." "1968 Dodge Coronet." "I've uploaded tags and VIN number to KITT." "You've got to find that car." "Or what's left of it." "You know, I may have found a flaw in your logic, KITT." "Really?" "Your assumption was whoever set the fire ended up at Phil Driscoll's office." "Based on the spectrographic analysis, that was correct." "But Eddie admitted he set it." "He could have gone to Driscoll's office after he left us, or he could have been lying." "No." "He was threatening to kick Terry Driscoll's ass, so I'm guessing he wouldn't be heading over to their place for a nightcap." "My gut says he was telling the truth." "It is possible the methane trail could be related to another incident or a person." "But outside of the fire, there seems to be no logical reason." "Holograms?" "Really?" "That's right." "That was some seriously impressive shizz back there." "I know." "That's usually my department." "I know." "You kind of made me look bad." "I know." "That's why I got you something." "What?" "Level Fourteen knows how to party." ""Botcraft Six." "Quest for Cyclops." "Hammer of Xerxes Seven."" "These aren't even out, yet." "I know." "The DMVsearch was unsuccessful." "What about junk yards?" "Insurance companies?" "Car collectors?" "Maybe somebody bought it for parts." "I have broadened my research parameters, and may have come up with a possibility." "Great." "Where's the car?" "The last place you ever would have expected." "An art gallery?" "You're kidding." "The remains of Julie's father's car were purchased by an artist and installed as the centerpiece of an exhibit here." "A man died in that car." "Apparently, there is an artistic subculture especially fascinated by automobile crashes." "Outside their subculture, they're known as idiots, KITT." "Go ahead." "Touch it." "It helps you connect." "I call it Beautiful Agony." "Wow." "Where did you get it?" "I scan the police blotter for fatal accidents." "Then, I buy the wrecks from the insurance company." "Yes." "Yes, I see." "I can tell that you're into it." "People who come right up to the car, it's as if they..." "It's as if they want to connect to the moment of impact." "Well, it's just so, you know, visceral." "I'll let you remain in the moment, then." "Listen to it." "It will sing to you." "Enjoy." "Ass clown." "Michael, the brake system on a '68 Dodge Coronet has a fluid line running down the left side of the chassis." "I'm getting there now." "The brake lines have been cut." "It may have been severed in the crash." "No, this cut's too uniform." "Someone did this." "Zoe's right." "It was murder." "Who the hell is shooting at me?" "The shots are coming from the bridge above." "What are you waiting for?" "A written invitation?" "Come get me." "On my way, Michael." "Cover me." "Scatter pattern." "Rapid fire will exhaust my ammunition supply in approximately seven seconds." "Wow." "Seven seconds?" "That's all you last?" "That's 8,000 rounds, Michael." "Oh, it's fine." "I'm sure Sarah can fix it." "Start shooting." "Got the wheel." "How many?" "Two in pursuit." "And two attempting to block the roadway ahead." "And we are out of ammunition." "Okay." "Bad and bad." "Michael, this is exhilarating." "It won't be for long if we don't get out of here." "I'm going to try something." "I'd advise against it." "Why?" "You don't even know what I'm going to do." "I rely on past performance to indicate future action." "Prepare for impact." "KITT, Turbo Boost." "Not on a turn, Michael." "It's no fun being predictable." "KITT, you scream like a girl." "It'sfivein themorning and all the square world are sleeping" "We're going downtown, baby" "Going to buy ourselves a little thrill" "Yeah, we're driving through the ghetto" "Where I sure feel out of place, man" "Where's Julie?" "Upstairs." "Yeah, yeah, yeah, whoa" "Michael, I have scanned the entering crowd." "So far, I've detected six knives, a slingshot, and two Chinese throwing stars." "This is worse than last night." "What the hell is going on?" "I am wondering the same thing." "Michael, the felons have returned." "Okay, you're good." "I'm going to open it up like a tin can." "That's it." "Hey." "Hey." "Come on." "Come on." "Let's get out of here." "No." "Come on." "Come on." "Come on." "Billy?" "Zoe?" "You might want to see this." "Whoa." "I thought Mike told KITT to be Zen." "Sometimes, a man just reaches his limit." "It's not like KITT to disobey an order." "KITT?" "What happened?" "I am wondering the same thing." "You mean that explosion wasn't you?" "It wasn't me." "But I do detect high levels of methane gas that could have been ignited by the welding torch." "Going to the county registrar's files." "Pulling up the real estate records on Sonny's now." "Geological surveys, too?" "They're not here." "Already tapped into Building and Safety." "There was a confidential subterranean survey done six months ago." "By who?" "It was paid for by Driscoll Development." "Why?" "Because it's not the bar." "It's what's under it." "The mineral rights." "Sonny's sits on top of a pool of methane." "Based on current prices and the estimated cubic footage, the rights are worth at least 50 million." "That would explain the explosion." "And the fires and the fights." "And why Driscoll wanted to buy the place." "Mike!" "Yeah, Billy?" "It's Phil Driscoll." "He's after the mineral rights." "They're worth at least 50 mil." "Michael." "Phil Driscoll set the fires to force you out." "He hired thugs to start trouble at Sonny's." "He wants your bar because the mineral rights are worth a fortune." "What are you talking about?" "Phil was doing me a favor." "No." "You don't understand." "He had a geological survey done without your father's knowledge." "Michael, stop." "Phil had a heart attack this morning." "They found him less than an hour ago." "Phil Driscoll's dead." "Phil was an honest man." "He was my father's friend." "Then, why was he doing secret oil and gas surveys of your property?" "What are you talking about?" "KITT, on screen, in here." "How did you do that?" "Push in on the last page." "Is there a signature?" "Yes." "Terrence Driscoll, Phil Driscoll's son." "Patch in Billy and Zoe." "We just got confirmation on Phil Driscoll's death." "Heart attack." "It's not Phil." "It's Terry." "It's always the crazy ones." "You've got to get me something solid enough to take him down." "I'm on it." "What the hell was that?" "That is how I straighten out my karma." "I programmed image recognition for a 1968 Dodge Coronet." "Okay, we're hacked into every business with a camera system within a two mile radius of Sonny's." "Running footage the day of the accident now." "I need you to call Terry Driscoll and tell him you're so upset by his dad's death, you need to see him." "Tell him you can't handle the place by yourself and you're willing to sell." "He'll never go for it." "Trust me." "He'll go for it." "I don't even have his number." " KITT?" " It's ringing." "Terry." "It's Julie Nelson." "Listen, I need to see you." "This is a crazy long shot." "But we love long shots." "Right on schedule." "I'm really glad you called." "Can I get you something to drink?" "Yeah, like a methane and soda?" "You know, I actually think it's harder playing dumb than being dumb." "No." "Don't sell yourself short, Terry." "You're really good at both." "Hold him!" "Robin, the bat!" "Hey!" "Get him out of here." "We've got a match." "It's from an ATM camera at a bank across the street." "While Julie's dad was inside the bank," "Terry Driscoll cut his brake line on his car." "That's right." "No skid marks." "Skid marks." "So..." "What happened after I blacked out?" "Well, I had you brought up here, and then, I had my way with you." "Oh, good." "That wasn't a dream." "No." "Ow!" "Oh!" "I'm so sorry." "Ow." "I was hoping you would stay a while." " You're keeping the bar open?" " Mmm-hmm." "Come on." "You're sitting on, like, 50 mil worth of methane." "Well, somebody's got to keep Robin from sleeping with all the customers." "And look at Eddie." "He finally got his confidence back." "I made my dad a promise." "Hmm." "Sure you don't want to stick around?" "It could be fun." "You could maybe tell me how you did all that stuff." "You know what they say." "You can't go home again." "Or at least, for the next, like, three to four hours, I could." "That's it?" "That's it." "Stay Zen, dude." "You too, Eddie." "I was wrong, Michael." "What are you talking about?" "I guess you can go home again."