"The Eskimos do that, too..." "Now we've got red noses!" "Yours is red, too!" "I'll go over to the other chair." "Then we'll have more room." "Is that you?" "Yes, as a tiny baby." "What pretty pictures!" "Yes, that's me." "That's you?" "You look just like me." "How old were you?" "Oh, about four years old." "Where were you?" "The film was taken in Argentina I was born there." "Why were you born there?" "Because my parents had to flee." "They were german Jews and they had to leave Germany." "That's my grandfather." "I thought it was." "That's you again?" " Yes." "That's you too." "How old were you?" "I'm not quite sure." "Is that you, too?" "It's all in Buenos Aires, Argentina." "But now you're back in Europe." "Yes, back in Germany, like you." "Is that your mother?" "Yes." "And that's me." "Are you the bigger one?" "No, the little one." "And who is the other one?" "That's my sister." "Is that in Argentina, too?" "Yes, it's all in Argentina." "Everything?" " Yes." "IN THE COUNTRY OF MY PARENTS" "I believe that the Jews have always been a people on the move." "Moving from country to country." "Often not sure if they could settle." "So they developed roots in the air as that was their only way to survive." "I want to have roots in one place and a sense of belonging there." "This cemetery reflects that idea." "Our forefathers are buried here." "Our great-grandparents, five generations of our people." "That gives a feeling of tradition and continuity." "And I very much wish that they hadn't had to leave and that I had an aunt I could visit sometimes for tea." "But we no longer have aunts living here." "But I live in Germany, don't you see?" "No, it's hard for me to understand." "Maybe it's because they lived here and I wish it hadn't happened that two generations weren't missing." "And I would belong to them." "MILITARY SECURITY AREA" "NO ENTRY" "DANGER" " FIRE ARMS USAGE" "GERMAN MINISTER OF DEFENCE" "Herr Geuss, you have rented this site." "How do you feel being next to a Jewish cemetery?" "I am young, born in 1945." "It poses me no problems." "I often talk to Jewish people ...and there's no friction caused because a camping site adjoins a Jewish cemetery." "Everything's smooth." "A shooting range in Untergrombach." "A camping site in Sulzburg." "Both next to Jewish cemeteries." "No problems." "Everything goes well." "How do the Germans handle their past?" "I've been living in Berlin 5 years." "If there had been no Hitler, I'd have been a German-Jewish child." "More German than Jewish, born in a village in Southern Germany" "But I was born in Argentina." "My mother tongue is Spanish." "I came to Germany 17 years ago." "I absorbed German culture and the German language like a sponge." "My confusion lies partly in the fact that I spent years becoming a real Argentinian." "And now Germany." "I'm not saying:" ""This isn't my land" but that this was my parents' land it's my land, too." "They had to leave but I'm here." "I met Anna a few months ago." "She's ten and was born in New York." "She's Jewish and came to Berlin at the age of one." "The traces of the past have not quite gone in Berlin." "A fact that helps me to live here." "THE PLACES OF HORROR WE MAY NEVER FORGET." "The Berliners can discover their history in the Berlin Museum tracing memories through everyday items." "Where is the history of the Berlin Jews to be traced?" "Where are the items for the Jewish museum, Vera?" "For 2 years Dr. Vera Bent has been constructing a Jewish museum." "The Berlin Senate decided to buy a large number of Hebrew relics." "Some of the stones from the Ephraim palace were moved from place to place after the last war." "A Jewish Museum was to be set up in the re-built Ephraim palace which belonged to a Jew who served as Finance Adviser to Friedrich II." "There are no funds available." "There is still no Jewish Museum in West Berlin." "The Jew's traces are vanishing." "I try to imagine the Jew's life about 200, 300 years ago." "That's how far I can re-trace my family tree in Germany." "A family of Jewish teachers called Halevi, who about the time Ephraim built his palace adopted the German name "Meerapfel"." "Motives, forms and techniques of resistance." "Dutch Resistance fighters during a sabotage act." "What are the yellow lights for?" "The yellow ones..." "These." "They mark the places where some Berlin people hid Jews." "90.000 Jews still were in Berlin before the deportations began." "About 5000 survived." "They were hidden by Berliners." "But some Berliners were Jews, too." "Being Jewish has been an issue for me since I came to Germany." "But what does "Jewish" mean?" "Belonging to one culture?" "To a tradition, or a religion?" "To a way of thinking and feeling?" "You know that I had misgivings about giving this interview." "I was embarrassed to be filmed as a Jew." "And to appear with other Jews." "Then I thought, "Why be embarrassed?"" "Embarrassed to say I'm Jewish?" "That is the problem." "This country, Germany, is so burdened with its history that it makes it very difficult to even discuss the subject." "You don't want to lead someone into saying "It's not my fault."" "Because probably it isn't his fault." "But you must make it known." "It has almost become an atavism." "I cannot benefit from the tragedy and fate of my people." "But it is part of me." "I didn't experience it myself but I often dream that I was myself in Auschwitz." "It's a dream that often recurs." "So it is really a problem for me." "You said you'd experienced anti-Semitism here in Germany." "I have experienced it here in Germany but never in France." "Maybe I didn't notice it there as I was younger." "Maybe knowing that I'm in Germany I've been here 11 years now makes me more alert to the subject." "Where can you tolerate anti-Semitism which is probably everywhere?" "It's probably less tolerable in Germany." "Where does it hurt me the most?" "Here in Germany, naturally." "I've already heard things said about Jews here..." "Don't you want to be specific?" "For me it is very difficult to know how to say that I got a letter an anonymous letter, during an opera production ...whilst I was having problems with my colleagues..." "The letter was anonymous and openly anti-semitic." "It's hard to find the right words the letter hurt me and made me more Jewish than I ever felt before." "What was in the letter?" "Someone had written:" ""Get out of here you Jewish pig or we'll beat your brains out."" "I thought for a moment "so that's what it's like..."" "Do you want to stay in Germany?" "There are many, other reasons why I'd maybe live somewhere else." "Because of your work?" "That, too." "But the letter made me think it's maybe time to go." "Not because I think it's on the increase but I must be able to act myself, as Broder said... without having to react positively or negatively... to this identity problem." "You mean, you would no longer be conspicuous." "At least not to the same extent." "Would you go to Israel like Broder?" "I don't think so." "Why not?" "I don't have any cultural affinity to Israel." "You will laugh, but I'd more likely go to France." "Even if you say there's anti- Semitism in France, which is true Auschwitz isn't part of the background of French anti-Semitism." "And here, where Auschwitz is part of that background anti-Semitism is harder to bear." "FOR JEWS THERE IS NO NORMALITY HERE" "MINISTER BAUM WARNS ABOUT FANATICAL RIGHT-WING EXTREMISTS" "YOUNG NEO-NAZIS HIT PASSERS-BY WITH CLUBS." ""KOMMANDO" THREATENS TO MURDER JEWS" "NEO-NAZIS WEAPON STORES" ""WE DIDN'T TAKE IT SERIOUSLY"" "In March 1981 a school magazine published the following:" ""When you enter a mass grave you have two alternatives." "You land up at the top or at the bottom." "You're better off at the bottom." "At the top you have 2 possibilities:" "They either leave you there or pull you out." "It's better if they leave you there." "If they pull you out you'll either..." "How long have you been in Germany and where are you from?" "I come from Riga, Lettland." "I've been here 6 years now." "I was in Israel before I came here." "Why did you come to Germany?" "I came here with my parents." "I was too young to stay there alone." "Why did your parents come here?" "Life was too hard there, inflation and so on." "They were used to life in Europe." "It was all too hard there." "Asia was too warm; different mentality." "Do you feel that you are a Jew?" "Yes, and how!" "How?" "Totally Jewish." "I am pleased that I am a Jew." "Are you religious?" " No." "Why are you pleased?" "What meaning does being Jewish have for you?" "That's hard to define." "I had a Jewish upbringing, although I'm not religious." "I always felt that I was a Jew." "It's nothing special for me." "I'm pleased because it's a small people which is always discriminated against." "Do you feel part of a tradition?" "Not exactly, but I feel special." "Can you describe how?" "No, I can't." "And you want to stay here and become a German?" "How?" "I'm a German citizen but I'll always remain a Jew." "Will this be your homeland?" "Or is it already?" "If everything's o.k., maybe then." "Where's your present homeland?" "I don't have one now." "I've lived in so many countries." "I'm not sure where home is for me." "The first time I saw the Sinai desert I was sure I had been there before." "A romantic way to feel Jewish." "Let us begin, then." "Today we are celebrating the Passover." "It reminds us of our liberation in Egypt." "You can ask any questions" "And offer any explanations for the ceremony." "This is the Seder Platter;" "Parsley represents the spring; a roasted egg traditionally broken I'm not sure what significance that has but it certainly looks strange." "These are bitter herbs, which remind us of our slavery in Egypt a lamb's bone as sacrifice for Passover, which means sacrifice." "Charoses... a sort of cement for the loam bricks the slaves made in Egypt this is made of nuts, apples and honey." "Salt water, the tears of the children of Israel in Egypt." "Some of my Jewish friends were afraid to appear before the camera as it would remind them of the horrors." "A friend said she did not want to show herself as a Jew to the Germans." ""I don't want them to consume it in front of the t.v.", she said." "The Jewish Community were afraid I would give a false impression." "That's why the Passover wasn't filmed in the synagogue." "Why must we break off a piece?" "We start a feast in that way in order to bless the bread that God provides from his earth." "This is special bread, isn't it." "What sort of bread is it?" "It's unleavened bread." "Why do we eat this bread?" "I know why!" "Why, then?" "Because they had to flee from Egypt and the bread..." "Yes, the bread had no time to rise." "It stayed flat." "While seeking the remains of a tradition in which I could feel at home I think of the Jewish feasts the warmth in the family which I experienced in Argentina." "Endearments heard as a child, not knowing their meaning because my parents said them in German "Schätzle, Krötle, Spätzle"." "These were my first contacts to German in Argentina." "Their sound mixes in my memory with the aroma of German cookies my Grandfather made, or of a special German cake whose recipe only one aunt knew." "I often feel cold in Germany." "I see people who seem to regard their bodies as being a fortress." "No physical contact." "No open emotions." "No give and take." "This lack of obligation is known as demeanour." "If you show feelings, you are vulnerable." "Feelings can change." "They aren't reliable." "And in Germany we do want safe values." "This land seems to be founded on security." "Sensuality, which causes unrest, must be banished." "Sensuality, corporeity, are too contradictory for this country which has such difficulties with contradictions." "I am going to sing a song with words by Peter Schneider." "Perhaps it's a story from my life." "I've been in Berlin for 6 years." "I'm no singer, I'll try to narrate..." "Berlin on the Black Sea" "My name's Jakob." "I come from afar from a town on the coast" "I can't return there" "So I shall die in Berlin." "I could play the violin before I could read and write play Paganini with my big toe" "Child prodigies get older" "And Berlin is far colder" "At first I understood nothing" "Stood staring, open-mouthed" "Much is strange for a Russian here" "There's not enough fervour here." "I don't need a Mercedes-Benz" "I don't need any drugs" "I only need a couple of fans, my violin and my bow." "Drink up, refill your glasses!" "Empty all the vodka bottles!" "Berlin you beautiful town!" "Pity there's no Black Sea here!" "German language-difficult!" "My grammar's not too good" "With mistakes here and there- they hear my violin everywhere." "Why is it so important for me to know where I come from, who my forefathers were, how they lived?" "Hannah Arendt wrote about the Jews' particular view of life." ""They hold on to the past and try to preserve it through the present."" "Typical Jewish behaviour or that of the children of any emigrants?" "Seeking a possible homeland, an imaginary place." "Return to that which one never had." "Always following a fata morgana." "Seeking a new homeland." "Regine and Jakob came to Berlin from Odessa 5 years ago." "What comes next?" "I must add vegetables." "You bring it to the boil and add tomatoes and flavouring." "It's then almost ready." "Can I taste it?" "What's missing?" "The spoonful I just drank!" "Now we must taste it." "I'll add salt and some pepper, too." "Why did you come to Germany?" "There were various reasons." "We thought it over a lot." "In Vienna someone recommended America someone else said Australia." "We were unsure where to go to." "We had no-one and Jakob said, "We must stay in Europe."" "He opted for Germany." "He's learnt German at school." "But he'd forgotten it all." "Various people suggested various countries to us and we chose Germany." "At first it wasn't easy, but now we've settled in fairly well." "But you said you're afraid of your neighbour?" "We have different ways of thinking." "We have lots of callers and she moans." "And they are elderly people." "We're bad neighbours because Jacob practises..." "His violin?" "Yes, everyday." "And they don't like the noise." "So they ring to complain." "Once she said lots of nasty things." "But the other neighbours are nice." "We don't need other people." "Are you often afraid because you are Russians, Jews, foreigners?" "Yes, I am always afraid as a Russian, Jew, foreigner it's difficult to understand." "But I've lost many complexes now." "You're foreign, too." "How do you feel?" "Do you want some soup?" "It will burn my mouth, I think!" "It's cooler here." "Use this spoon." "It's beginning to taste great." "This was my grandmother's last letter." "Written 2 days before she was sent to Theresienstadt." ""Dear little Eva, my dear child."" "The letter is dated 11.9.42." ""Your letter was so warming" "I know your words came from the heart." "You are right that one can doubt any heavenly presence." "How can such a world with such leaders exist?" "Everything is dreadful." "However I hope to see you once again and above all wish you luck and contentment in your life and that the sun may always shine on you." "I shall miss all my dear ones." "I don't know how I shall bear it all since my ailment comes with me." "I shall have my family in my thoughts at all times." "My eternal wish beeing that they have joy in life." "I won't be able to write or receive any letters." "They have taken everything away from me that I possessed." "I now want to say farewell, darling." "With hearftelt thanks for your love." "Stay healthy and be happy." "Fondest love-your Grandma."" "Is that all that you have from her?" "I have this letter which I've kept by me since 1942 that's why it's so tatty and then I've got this photo." "My mother's on the right, my uncle in the middle and that's my Aunt Teddi." "She died in Auschwitz, and when they came for him he shot himself." "He was a doctor." "My sister gave me this photo." "That's all that's left from Grandma." "Excuse the sudden interruption but I'd like to come in, please and see the room where..." "I beg your pardon?" "I wanted to see the room..." "But why?" "In which I last saw my grandmother in 1942." "May I come in?" "Yes, of course." "Her bed was there." "She lay there when I last saw her." "She was ill with facial neuralgia." "She wasn't expecting me." "It was difficult for me as I had no identity papers." "Her desk was there." "That's where she sat to write to me." "The grand piano stood there." "It took up half the room." "But she'd brought it from Danzig and couldn't part with it." "When we were children, I visited her with my sister she used to hide sweets for us." "And then she played the piano." "When we got near the sweets she'd play louder." "We used to sit here and have tea." "She had a sweet tooth herself." "In Theresienstadt she starved to death." "Maybe if I'd had more courage and less fear for my own life I might have been able to save her." "I never thought of it." "But now that I'm here in this room I really don't know." "What are you doing?" "I'm making a bracelet." "And what are you doing?" "I'm watching you." "Would you like a bracelet, then?" "Yes" "Shall I make you one?" "Right now?" "If you want to." "Show me your hand." "What's that?" "That's my religion books." "Your religion books?" "What are you learning then?" "Oh, about my religion." "Which religion is that?" "Jewish..." "What?" " Jewish..." "ATTENTION." "MORTAL DANGER." "THE RIVER BELONGS TO BERLINS EASTERN SECTOR." "You chose this place." "Why?" "I'm just beginning to understand that myself." "At first it was a whim of mine." "This border between East and West with its multi-lingual warnings." "That's all I can say at present." "Over there people are fishing peacefully, you see." "And there you have the patrol boats." "As if we were in No-Man's land?" "Or rather "Many Man's Land"." "What passport do you have, Hazel?" "Mine is a typical case." "I've a British passport, I was born in London." "My grandparents died in Auschwitz." "My parents had to emigrate, and returned here later." "They were like outsiders, whether Jewish or otherwise strangers, and I felt that then, too..." "You said being an outsider that living in Germany makes it easier perhaps no, that is is easier to live as a Jew in Germany because you don't have to assimilate." "When you ask what advantages living in Germany has then I would perhaps say:" "It is impossible to belong here." "If that's because I'm Jewish or for another reason I'm not sure." "Let's say it's hard to feel at home here." "Do you need a home?" "Yes, sometimes..." "Do you have one?" "I get, probably you, too, and other people, attacks of sentimentality when I miss a home." "But sometimes I feel at home with myself." "That's a great feeling." "I think I have the chance or need to say:" "With yourself you feel at home." "My past has something to do with it." "And my past has something to do with the history of the Jews." "I find it is sad but also good that when you're not settled you are forced to build your own nest." "I wouldn't see it as being driven out but rather as a chance to develop your senses as you must seek that which has not been provided." "I sometimes think I have more of a chance in this way to discover my own identity than someone who's put in a place and has his format prescribed for him." "And then I start to see it as a good Jewish inheritance that we have various ways of leaving the different ghettos." "That gives you more freedom of choice, perhaps." "You once said, "So what, I'm Jewish?"" "I don't want you to regard me only as a Jew." "I find that far too restricted." "I don't know what you do with it." "I know so many minorities, e.G. Gays or red-heads or foreigners who don't feel at home here." "I feel closer to them than to the people who say:" ""I'm Jewish, I'm at home and that's my identity."" "It'd be easy to hide behind Jewishness." "A wonderful surrogate for home." "When I look around at the Turks..." "I must say, there are worse things than being Jewish in Germany now." "Anna's father, an historian, says:" ""The day foreign workers feel happy and at home in Germany." "The rest of the Jewish problem will have been solved in Germany." "But not before."" "Here used to stand a synagogue." "It was demolished during the terrible night of the 9th." "Of Nov. 1938." "The start of Nazi terror to which many Jews fell victim." "Their memory will never fade." "At first I only painted objects in my flat." "My first pictures are all still lifes of articles in my flat." "My kitchen cupboards, or the bath." "And even now, when I lack inspiration I look around me for ideas." "Where do you feel at home?" "My home is the flat here." "There's a tree outside which reflects the seasons." "I live in the centre of Berlin." "In summer I feel I'm in the woods." "The tree looks different from each window." "It's better than t.v. Or a film." "It's a nice flat and peaceful." "It's my own, private retreat." "It's not like many other flats here where people lean out of the windows to watch the street below." "My windows don't face the street." "Here you are really shut away and that creates a feeling of safety." "Yes, that is a secure feeling." "But I have a nightmare that the police burst in here and turn over the place." "I think I'd have hysterics." "I don't know what I'd do." "I think I'd be capable of anything." "Where are you from, Sarah?" "It's hard for me to say." "I was born in Cambridge and then I was interned and at ten months I moved with my parents to London." "That's where I grew up." "My parents left Germany before the war." "My mother had lost her job as librarian in 1933 and my parents married in England as their marriage was against the German "racial laws"." "In 1954 my father returned to Germany." "I spoke no German at first." "I had a lot of problems." "I returned to England often." "I hated it here at first." "I felt threatened and found the people aggressive." "You notice it especially when you don't know the language" "You observe people's gestures." "The sounds they make." "It was very loud here." "I didn't feel at all Jewish." "Until I was confronted with it." "I was made a Jewess." "It happened the first time at school." "The persecution in the 3rd." "Reich was discussed." "Suddenly one small girl said:" ""German T.V. Is full of Jews again."" "I was amazed." "I left the room." "...and thought "It's impossible."" "The next day I was punished for leaving the room too soon." "That was the last straw." "I hated it here." "I wanted to return to England." "And then I slowly got used to it." "You feel Jewish, then?" "Not really." "I only feel it when it's pointed out to me." "When I hear anti-Semitic remarks." "Once I was out in Berlin I was 26 then , and three workers, around 30, were standing on the corner." "I knew they'd make some comment when a single woman went by." "But what they said was so awful." "I went home and cried my eyes out." "What did they say?" ""She must have fallen out of the oven when they burnt the Jews."" "There are times when you think." "You can't stand it any longer." "But I have good friends here and I like Berlin." "I even like the aggressiveness I so hated at first." "There's a sort of brutal honesty here where you say what you think." "I like that." "Even if it's painful sometimes?" "I prefer it to a strange politeness which makes people aloof." "That's what I now find strange in England." "It's much more tolerant and liberal but I can't make contact with the people there." "I understand every word but still don't know what they're talking about." "You want to stay here, then?" "I don't want to leave here." "It took a long time to settle here." "My best friends are all here." "My son grew up here." "It's the place I've got used to." "I often feel happy here." "I haven't only had bad experiences." "Still, I've often been afraid here." "Anti-semitic remarks are less painful although they still hurt now as I realize we're a tiny minority." "I regard anti-Semitism more as an expression of diabolical nostalgia." "The Jews are no longer a target." "The others, the Turks, old people the handicapped, children, all weaker groups of people they are treated worse here than in any other society." "I've often experienced that as a mother." "Now we have an economic crisis." "You notice people's reactions when they become uncertain." "I sometimes have the feeling it could happen here again." "That's what really frightens me." "You wanted to say something about how the Germans handle their past, or rather don't handle it." "I still think the past is taboo." "Also after Holocaust, or especially after it as this series was shown, interpret it as you will." "I found the discussion that followed the most interesting." "I remember the first evening the same question was asked three times with no answer given." ""Where has it all remained today?"" "Even in this public attempt after 35 years to overcome it." "Which is a terrible thing, anyway the real questions are turned down." "No questions, and no solutions." "It's still the skeleton in the cupboard." "What questions must be asked then?" "The problem should have been overcome much earlier." "Changes should have been made in legal and civil servant circles." "De-nazification was a farce." "People ought to ask "How could the whole thing go so far?"" "Consequences must then be drawn from this analysis." "I think that no-one asks such a question." "What sort of up-bringing do the German children have?" "You notice in the schools that there still exists blind discipline, bureaucratic thinking obedience to stupid rules." "Nothing's changed in that respect." ""Paragraph 78 Railway Bye-Laws Unauthorised persons may not enter here." "Trespassers will be prosecuted."" ""German Railways." "Goods Depot."" ""In memory of the ten-thousands of Jewish citizens in Berlin who were sent, as from Feb. 1943 to the death camps from here by the nazi murderers." "Hazel says:" ""When I look around at the Turks I must say there are worse things than being Jewish in Germany now."" "I agree with her." ""OUT WITH FOREIGNERS"" "Do you like being in Berlin?" "Is it your home?" " Yo..." "What d'you mean, "yo"?" "That I've lived here a long time and I'm used to it." "Do you want to live here for ever?" "I'd like to live somewhere else, too." "It would be boring always to live in the same place." "Would you like to become a German?" "I don't know." "Don't you know yet?" "Why then?" "I'm just like the Germans, except that I'm an American." ""The large majority of German people are not willing to share their country with masses of people who are felt to be different to ourselves and incapable of integration and whose presence" "on such a large scale could have a lasting change on our country."" "Written by the General Secretary of the German Red Cross in 1980." "I'm not happy." "I've been here for ten years." "Foreigners are second class people." "I don't always think about it almost all Germans say foreigners are second class people." "That's why I don't want to stay here for ever." "You say it's hard to live here because we're different." "You'd also like to be different to be easier." "If it were easier, however you'd have to give up your own culture and identity." "Yes, that's right." "I must retain my Turkish culture." "But as for my children and family I don't see much hope there." "We've a different culture." "I want to retain it." "I'm not German." "Both my children say they're in Germany." "They have more interest in German culture than Turkey's." "It doesn't interest them." "I can well understand that." "Your children's generation or their children won't keep any ties with Turkey." "They'll become like Germans." "Be like Germans... adapt..." "integrate..." ""This is the site of the synagogue built by the Jewish Community in 1909." "I think about the many Jewish men and woman who lived here before me." "Rachel Levin, who spent her whole life trying to adapt and to lose her Jewish image." "Rachel, who wrote "every heart needs a homeland"." "To be like the rest, to no longer be different." "A well-known yearning." "Maybe you can only belong here in contradictory terms." "By always describing the distance and nearness to this country." "If there had been no Hitler I'd have been a German-Jewish child." "More German than Jewish, born in a small South German village." "The same year that the Majdanek trial finished." "I heard anti-Semitic jokes in Berlin pubs while filming:" ""Two kids sitting on a concentration camp roof beside the chimney." "What are they doing?" "Waiting for their parents."" ""A Jew goes around with a gas bottle on his back." " Why?" "He's addicted to the stuff."" ""What's the difference between the Jews and the Turks?" "The Jews have already gone through it."" "I'm not saying this isn't my country." "This was my parents' country and it is my country, too." "Übersetzung:" "Peter Wilson"