"I don't know when it began, or how" "But it came seeping gradually, like a fog" "For years I had been walking round with such a strange pain" "The person you are calling cannot be reached at the moment" "An angel?" "I need to take some blood" "Just take it." "Take it all" "I spoke to your father" "And your mother called too" "So I didn't succeed?" "Here." "This'll help you sleep" " You need help" " I know that" " So help me then" " So stop running away" "I worry about you, you keep running away all the time" "Where am I?" " Oh Tussi!" "And it's so cold!" " I'm very sorry, very sorry" "So am I" "You can't wash for a few days because of your cuts" "But I can help you wash if you like" "No no no ..." "They were angry because the victim was still moving" "Two held the victim down while the third cut him with an axe" "When the mother returned, she found her son in pieces on the bed" "Is there nowhere I can get peace from all this?" "Why should I have to see all this?" "Why should I have to know this?" "They won't let us see TV for a long time now, Odin" "Why should I have to know this?" "I'm in a madhouse." "The people here are all mad!" "I won't be quiet." "No!" "Damned if I will!" "No!" "I don't want to!" "No, the one I had on first" " Hi Maria" " Hi" "Good morning, Aina" "It's a genuine Stetson" "Here's your suitcase" "I'm your primary contact." "You can come to me about anything at all" "I can help you when your family rings up and fusses you   or with forms you have to fill out" "Don't be so sulky." "I'm making a big effort here, reaching out to you" "You haven't said hello to Maria" "Have you?" "Sit up now Aina and say hello to your room-mate" "Maria's great." "You two will get along fine - if you want to" "There's a group meeting in 7 minutes." "Maria's in the same group" "See you later" "We're not supposed to lie in bed during the day" "It says so in the weekly schedule" " What's the weekly schedule?" " All the activities and so on" "Such as what?" "Working in the kitchen, going walks, doing exercises" "Individual therapy with Dr Freiner" "Handicraft" "But no scissors or knives or needles" "And we can go riding, if we want" "Best hurry and get dressed" "The meeting begins soon" "If you don't turn up they come and fetch you" "We talk about everything there" "Okay then, listen" "Okay then, listen" "The special offer this Friday is a cinema trip" "Want to go and see Cool Dudes?" "Come on!" "It's good for you to get out a bit" "No one interested?" "Oh come on, wake up!" "We're doing okay here" "Hello everyone" "Welcome to our conversation group, Aina." "I'm Hedda, one of  the social care-workers." "I hope you'll enjoy being with us" "Anyone have anything they want to talk about?" "We should talk about diagnosis" "We have more important things to talk about" "Ask what diagnosis they gave you" "You got it the moment you walked in the door" "The name doesn't matter, it's the level of functionality." "How you feel" "Anxiety and depression" "These are very common conditions" "We're all here because we have an abnormal attraction towards ..." "Slippery cunt ... cunt ... cunt" "Calm down everybody" "It's just a tic." "It embarrasses him." "He's studying to be a priest" "Get to the point." "There's always a point" "Plans to commit suicide." "Personally I'm ashamed to be still alive" " I'm probably too cowardly" " I want to die too" "F-f-f ... fuck ... fuck ..." "There there, Jørgen." "I don't think we need a debate on ..." "Then let's talk about the kind of medicine she's taking" "Zyprexa" " Regularly three times a day?" " Now that's enough" " Okay then, let's talk about Maria" " No!" "Every time she gets put on a new medication ..." "We have a job to do here." "The weakest have to be protected" "Ask about side-effects" "The side-effects are ..." "not too bad" "A little discomfort now and then" "Now and then?" "It's more often than that" "We've all had it" "Just look at me." "After taking these "necessary" medicines,   soon I won't be able to cross my legs." "Do you like girl's cunts?" " Relax." "I'm only asking" " Odin, give us the list" " You feel nauseous, then tired" " And you get constipated" "Get a butt-plug ..." "Butt-plug!" "Heart-murmurs" "That's enough, that's enough" " I don't want to be here" " Think you're not as mad as we are?" " I'm not ill" " Welcome to the club!" "I'm not sick, just a bit tired" "Hello Aina." "Welcome" "I'm Dr Freiner, your doctor" "How are you?" "I'm well" "According to your record you've seen a psychologist before" "A couple of times" "Didn't help much." "I like to find things out for myself" "Seven times, to be exact" " Ever been committed before?" " No, never" "Actually, I really don't know why I'm here" "I can discharge myself now, can't I?" "There are a couple of things it might be useful for us to talk about" "And since you're here anyway ..." "And it isn't easy to get a place here" "But ... do I have to be here?" "Is it for you to decide?" "What about my job?" "I don't have time for this" "There's nothing to be ashamed of in taking time off sick" "It's shameful to be here" "Aina, you need help" "When every door seems closed, therapy can be the way back to life" "No" "I don't want to" "All I want is to sleep" "Then sleep" "Maria" "Moffa, here's yours" "Ruben, this is for you" "Goodnight" "Goodnight" "What's that?" "It's the most peaceful picture I know of" "Can I have a look?" "It's nice" "It's called "Death with Girl in Lap"" "I want to discharge myself" "I know I have the right to do that" "Aina, this is not a secure wing" "But your level of functionality is disturbing" "And your parents have agreed that you should stay here" "After what happened yesterday we had to contact them" " Let's sit down" " But I'm not sick" "I've got no reason to be" "I had a perfectly good childhood" " I lacked for nothing" " And yet you ran into that window" "Why did you do that?" "I don't know." "It all just seemed ..." "Meaningless?" "Do you hear voices?" "Yes" "You people keep talking and talking" "There's no little dwarf inside my head controlling me" " I just want to get out of life" " Or back into it?" "In through the window." "Not out through it" "It must be great for you if we kill ourselves!" "So you don't have to think what to do with people like me" "A rubbish dump will do" "Aina, stop this nonsense about not wanting to be here anymore" "When you've been lucky enough to get admitted" "This is a nice place to wait while you make up your mind about death" "Smashing a display window like that is original, but not very efficient" "And the plastic bag is overrated" "Why not quietly starve to death?" " They'd notice" " No" "They're used to your being thin" "You must withdraw gracefully." "Wait for the right moment" "Turn up for breakfast in the morning and pretend to eat" "Take part in activities so the staff think they're succeeding" "They get paid here to cure us" "And if you find a quicker way in the meantime, then just do it" "No one can force you to live, Aina" "That's what I'll do" "I can do that" "I'm suffering!" "I'm suffering!" "I'm suffering so much!" "I'm suffering!" "I'm suffering!" " Shut up!" " I'm suffering so much!" " Are you of noble birth?" " Noble birth?" "I mean, your bearing." "The way you carry your head" ""Just like a queen"" "I'm just arrogant" "Yes, that's what I thought" "If you find a quicker way in the meantime, then just do it" "Here we are" " You just help yourself Aina" " Oh yes" "It's good of them to look after us here, so we don't do bad things" "There's too much friendliness and understanding here" "Like syrup on the soles of your shoes" "I think it's okay here" "If I had the choice, I'd choose to be here" "As long as Maria's here" "Things just go to pieces on the outside anyway" "Sheltered housing is no better than living rough" "Pass the sauce." "And the meat" "Where are the truffles?" "Where are the truffles?" "You know how to put things" "Bless this ... shit" "That's his!" "I've got eczema from micro-organisms from another dimension" "I have to take precautions against infections and such-like" "Epidemics and pandemics and so on" "He scrubs himself with a nailbrush to get rid of things" "He's addicted to soap." "Uses the lot up if you're not careful" "Soap is the only thing that helps." "God is punishing me for my sins" "What sins?" "You won't go to Hell for stealing a bar of soap" "I feel wicked desires in my heart" "Not you, but me!" "I pray and pray, but I am not found worthy" "Evil doesn't really exist, Tussi." "It's just something that  appears in people now and then, when they see something they want" "Sit down Zoran." "Sit down and eat" "Odin!" "On your nice clean shirt!" "Hi Aina." "Where are you off to?" " Going for a walk" " You have to be chaperoned" "Chaperoned?" "You're not allowed to walk around here alone" "You walk, I follow" "Okay then" "A strong will is good." "Think what you could do with it, instead of ..." "Instead of what?" "Trying to kill yourself" "You could do anything you want to" "There's nothing I want to do." "I suppose that's why I'm ill" "Life isn't a disaster" "Life is the only thing we know" "Once you've accepted it, it makes it easier to carry on" "Is that some crap you learnt on a course?" "Yes" "Take part in activities so staff think they're succeeding" "I can't do anything." "It's so ugly" "I can't do anything right." "Ever" "This is a nice place to wait while you make up your mind about death" "I'll show you round if you want" "I've seen it all already" "I mean outside." "Outside the building" " The park and the woods" " No, I have to be chaperoned" "They don't have enough staff to chaperone everyone" "And I'm doing well at the moment" "Soon ready for aftercare" "I can ask if you want." "If we can go outside together" "They like us to talk." "I can show you The Well" "The Well?" "Outside." "In the woods" "Don't walk so fast then you won't sweat so much" "It isn't sweat." "It's brain-mass" "I have a big hole in my head and it's starting to run out" "I can feel it getting smaller." "It's bubbling and boiling in there" "At the university they say it's all just my imagination" " Do you go to the university?" " Yes, but I sleep here" "They say I'm an inexplicable mathe- matical enigma." "They call me Formula" "Because I'm always doing sums" "Even though it gets harder to think." "But sometimes it gets easier too" "I've got my own formula." "I discovered it when I was a child" "I saw it, complete and clear" "The Tarn of Death" "But we just call it The Well" "It's a possibility" "Quicker than buttering slices of bread you never eat" "Tussi's tried lots of times, but he just floats up to the top" "It's really really cold" "Hi, Death" "One day you'll have to reply" "Because I've seen you now" "Formula, get your porridge ready, I have an impossible sum for you" "5389 times   the square root of 2009" " 241540" " That's not possible!" "What is madness actually?" "The Greek goddess of madness was called Lyssos" "She rode in a celestial chariot, with billowing hair   and a whip made of snakes" "She struck out at random" "You could say madness is like an attack   that comes from inside ourselves" "So they get attacked suddenly  and deprived of everything without knowing what's happened or why?" "Just like every other illness" "They drove about 300 km to get here." "Why won't you see your parents?" " They're better off without me" " Best sometimes to get it over with" "If my mum came in and saw someone like that she'd pass out on the spot" "It would make it easier for them if they could see you up and about" "Why should I make it easier for them?" "They had me locked up here!" "I know it's difficult, but it could be a good thing to meet them" "So they can be sure I'm in the right place." "I don't need that" "They asked me to give you this" "Mum's homemade rolls." "Best in the world" "Have a roll" "Thanks" " Take the whole bag" " You take it" "What's the matter with Dr Freiner?" " He's good." "You can trust him" " I don't trust anyone" " Not even me?" " Certainly not you" "But there's something about him" "Your scars have almost healed." "Now you can shower and maybe   wash your hair so we can see how pretty you really are" "Why won't you answer?" "." "Professional ethics" "Orange and camomile." "Best shampoo there is" "I use it myself" "You look so nice" "No need to look like a tramp even if I am going to die" "I know I'm ugly" "I didn't ..." "I only meant, maybe soon you can stop taking the pills" " I need to or else I'll die" " Don't you want to die?" "I daren't" "I do" "I daren't do anything else" "Moffa's in love with you" " What?" "What did you say?" " Moffa's in love with you" "If you looked at him you'd see at once" "I disappear if anyone looks at me." "I just can't deal with it" "We're in the madhouse, Maria" "I know" "Are you very hungry?" "I could eat rocks" "Why are you here, Ruben?" "Much better to be a junkie in here than out there" " So you're going to kill yourself?" " Yeah" "Find a dark cellar somewhere   no one knows about" " Fall asleep in the dark" " Ugh." "How boring!" " How would you do it?" " Very suddenly" "On a mounting high and be blown to pieces like a firework" "Christ!" "No, I must be in control" "Aina?" " Want to try riding?" " No" "No!" "I'm getting thinner and thinner, but no one's noticed yet" "Not even Stetson" " Great primary contact, eh?" " Poor you" " Do you have trouble being seen?" " Not that way" "But in another way, sort of" "Okay, it's Friday again and this week's special offer is the funfair" " Last chance this year" " Funfair?" "." "No no no" "We're ill, that's why we're here" "Funfairs are for well-adjusted, normal, hotdog-eating people" "Not lunatics" "These outings are for all of us, it's important to get out" "Jørgen?" "Are these outings voluntary,   or compulsory-voluntary?" "Totally voluntary." "I guess that's why so many of you have signed up" " Any more questions?" " Not while you're leading the group" "Come on gang!" "A quick trip out" "It's boring to go all alone" " Yes, Aina?" " I'd like to go" "Good." "That's nice." "Then let's go to the funfair" "No one's staring at us" "Because we're a normal couple" "Come here" " Have a shot" " I can't!" "I can't do it" "Feel the weight" "Use the sight" "That's it" " Okay" " Now shoot" " I missed" " But you were close" "Huh!" "Thanks." "I'll treasure this always" "You're so pathetic, Aina!" ""I'll treasure this always"" ""Show me your handwriting and I'll tell you who you are"" "We must try that, Aina" "Here. 20 kroner." "On the clinic" "I know who I am" "You don't get away that easily." "Now I'll finally get some answers" " There's nothing to know" " You daren't ask." "That's the problem" "Come on" " I don't want to" " You might learn something" "It's only a machine" "Let go of me or I'll smash the machine!" "Aina ..." "Hotdog and chips" "No mustard!" "Aina, I'm sorry" "That's good" "I'll have the same" "Sorry if I was too intrusive" "Fuck ... fuck ... fuck" "I know it's important to feel you're in charge of your own life" "I guess it's hard at Varden, but there are rules everywhere" "I think the trick is to   follow the rules, but make rules of your own and follow those too" "But it isn't possible to have full control over life" "Are you feeling alright?" "Aina?" "Shit, was there something wrong with this hotdog?" " Let's go" " No I'm alright" "We're going back." "Come on" "I've come to cheer you up" "You wavered" "But it doesn't really matter" "It's worse for Tussi" "He's had a bad relapse" "No?" "!" "While you were puking your guts up someone had the bright idea of   taking him to the Royal Hospital to look at microbes in a microscope" "Fucking hell!" "To show him it's normal that certain things are everywhere" "And now he knows he's right" "You've lost 8,3 kilos since you came" "You're very undernourished." "Have you been eating at all?" "Of course I have" "Sit down here please" "Why are you here?" "Because ..." "I can't manage on the outside" "I thought you were here to get help?" "No" "So you just want to be looked after while you wait to die?" "Do you know how many people are waiting for a place here?" " Have I less right to a place?" " Yes." "If you don't co-operate" " If you don't keep to the schedule" " But I do!" "I go to the group meetings, I go to therapy, kitchen duty,   ergotherapy and art therapy, batik and fucking basket weaving" " I follow the schedule!" " You don't eat" "You break your body down, and that's not co-operating" "Your blood pressure is so low, I don't know how you're still standing" "Had enough?" "Come with me" "Come with me, we're going out" "Some people just have it" " No ..." " Turn round" "You ..." "Stetson ..." " Is that too tight?" " No" " Let's take a walk." "You first" " But I can't see anything" "If you trust me I'll lead you" "No!" "No!" "Walk" "Come on" "Walk!" "Don't ..." "Sit down" " Why won't you eat?" " Because I want to die!" "Then why didn't you jump?" "Or hang yourself from that tree." "I've got a nylon rope in the van" "I eat every day." "Several times a day." "Is that okay with you?" "Sure." "You have the right to live" "And you don't have the right to live?" " No" " Yes you do" "Everyone has the right to live" "Look" "You're losing your hair." "Think what you're doing to yourself" "Why didn't I jump?" "Really?" "Aina, it's time to make some choices" "Close your eyes." "Let yourself feel" "What do you feel?" "Try again." "Close your eyes" "How far can you go?" "Maybe far enough to ..." "Feel!" "I wish I might   get the desire   to want to live" "Do you think life has any meaning?" "Only one" "That we must learn how to live it" "What if a person can't learn?" "They must be helped in some way" "Is it hard always to have to be someone for others?" "Make an effort now!" " A bit further forward" " Now straighten those legs!" "How come Zoran never has to do these stupid exercises?" "Bloody hell!" "Do some get special treatment here?" " They're scared." "He's a wizard" " F- f- fuck" "This smells of washing powder" "Aina, you must reach your target-weight and keep it" "Or else 4 or 5 of them will come to your room and force you" " Force me?" " Force-feed you" "Three of them hold you down and one sticks a hosepipe down your gut" "Right into your stomach with a funnel on top" "Then they pour thick, hot soup down until you nearly puke." "Disgusting" "Worse then a gang-bang." "I should know, I've tried both" "F-f-fuck." "Fuck!" "Concentrate now, we can do this" "Look at this lot here!" "Nothing but dead flesh and nicotine as far as the eye can see" "Excuse me, can I have my cloth?" "Oh Moffa!" "Freak out!" "It's disco-time!" "Yes, yes!" "Some rhythm in our bodies!" "That's what we need!" "Will you please close the door behind you, Aina?" "I'm not staying long" "Where did you learn how to do that?" "There's no mystery." "Just will-power" " Do you see things too?" " I see most things" "What's the matter with Freiner?" "He's out of reach" "What shall I do?" "Just wait" "Until the right moment comes along" "Everyone finds peace in the end, Aina" "Freiner isn't here today." "Did no one tell you?" " He's off sick" " Sick?" "But he's my doctor" "His replacement will be here Monday" "How long will he be off?" "About three weeks I expect" "Then he must be really ill" "He'll be alright" "I really dig crocodiles" "They can go without eating for months" "Yes, and then they eat a whole gnu" "Eat" "But thirteen peas is quite a lot" " Come on then!" " Okay!" "Very good" "Aina, wait a moment" " One day I'll get you up on a horse" " Sure" "Ruben's run off" "That's his last chance and he knows it" "This time he's taken all his things with him" "I'll see if I can catch him up anyway" "What is this?" "We're adults." "We deserve to be treated more intelligently than this" "Yes Jørgen?" "What he just said, I agg-ug-ug ..." "What kind of treatment have they put you on now?" "Name five things that you really value" "Five things?" "Then I wouldn't be here" "Hedda, can we please talk about Maria?" "Every time you put her on new medication her rashes get worse" "It's her body trying to warn you" "Trust us." "We see the whole picture of a patient's illness   and choose the right treatment" " I do trust you" "We'll have some new medicines for you soon" "But what if she can manage without?" "If you could say, there's one patient here who doesn't need medicine?" "Wouldn't that be something to boast about at your next medical congress?" "Without her medicine Maria can't keep to her weekly schedule" "And participation is actually a condition of residence here" "Of course, yes" "Maybe you should start waving the waiting lists again?" "Perhaps it's about time for you to be leaving us" "I'm talking about Maria, for Chrissakes!" "You shouldn't provoke her, she can discharge you whenever she likes" "I know that." "But you should be allowed to speak your mind" "I have to leave soon anyway." "So fuck it all" "Maybe this time they'll offer you decent accommodation" "It'll be worse for us once you've gone" "Won't be much good for me either" "Here I manage on one pill three times a day" "On the outside it's just morphine and crap" "Why is that?" "I don't know." "It's all so   big" "If only Freiner was back." "I just know you'd figure it out in no time" " Aina, come here." "Here!" "Come on!" " What is it?" "In here" "Aina, Freiner is a binge-drinker" "He'll be back, washed and shaved." "He'll work as long as he can,   then start again." "Everyone knows Oh yes!" " But he's supposed to look after us" " No" "Aina, if we can't look after ourselves, then we've had it" "That's how it is." "For everyone" "Yes, but ..." "The staff know about Freiner, but they don't know that we know" "If they find out we know, he'll lose his job" "Why do you protect him?" "Because he's struggling too" "He's one of us" "That's Maria" "Maria!" "Try to breath" "Are you happy now?" "You're bloody well killing her" "Adrenalin!" "She's choking" "Avery unusual reaction, I've never seen anything like it" "Injection!" "We'll try stopping the medicine" " Shall we go and find Odin?" " Okay" "Come along" "It's a shame you haven't found God yet, Aina" "Unbelievable, that landslide." "Five million cubic metres of clay" "Two hundred pigs dead" "And one woman" "How?" "Bloody well drowned." "Five million cubic metres of clay" "Why do you mention the pigs before her?" "." "Is it certain the woman was more important than the pigs?" "No." "I just relate to my own reality." "And I'm not a pig" " Is it good if Maria dies?" " No!" "Maria isn't going to die" " Or if I die?" " Nor you either." "Just forget it" "Can't Moffa stay?" "He's important for us all." "He helps us" "We can't stop him standing on his own two feet because we want him here" " But he can't manage on his own" " Believe in him." "It's what he needs" "You just want to get rid of him" "I want to get rid of all of you." "But I don't want to lose any of you" " I mean it" " Yes" "You're going to be okay this time" "So are there any other places?" "Life calls" "You can't get any peace" "But I don't suppose you care" "You just sit here talking to death." "That's what I call psychotic" "Speak for yourself" "If Tussi can't drown himself it must be because he doesn't really want to" "I'm surprised Odin can't get him to understand that" "He certainly could have" "Especially since he's a professor of psychiatry and knows about things" " What did you say?" " Odin" "He's a professor of psychiatry" "Didn't you know?" "There isn't much he doesn't know about what's wrong with him and us" "And he stands to inherit a million." "Plus he has a lavish house in Oslo" "Then why doesn't he do something?" "He doesn't care any more" "I don't either" "Watch out, watch out!" "I'm highly infectious" "You're mucking us about, Tussi." "It isn't you who is infectious" "We're the unclean ones." "And you're afraid we'll infect you" "The devil has got your tongue" "That's why you keep us away" "Tough when someone tells it like it is." "Hit back, Tussi." "Hit back" "I turn the other cheek" "If you do that I want a hug" "It'll be alright" "He's so afraid all the time" "Fear is what keeps us alive, Aina" " What kind of psychiatrist are you?" " A sick psychiatrist" "My patients died like flies" "I've always had a dangerous attraction for unhappy people" "A little something extra   can be the short-cut to the peaceful side" "Don't listen to him" "Who decides who we are?" "Ourselves or the world around us?" "These notes should say something about us." "Let your thoughts flow" " Been on a course again?" " Look at each person in turn" "Find that one single word that describes them best" "I'm not a notice board!" "I can tell you that Moffa's been seen in town" "It's all gone wrong" "We don't talk about people who aren't here" "What's Moffa like when they admit him?" "Like a bag of bones that can hardly breathe" " It's hard to believe" " Yes" "Aina, the pain is going away" " The rash is clearing up" " No ..." "The pain that's always been there" "It's so strange" "Did you speak to Ruben?" "You've been acting funny lately." "What's on your mind?" "That's none of your business" "OK" "How are we supposed to trust each other when you never tell anything?" "While I'm supposed to tell you everything about myself" "Sorry, that's just the way it is" "Come on." "It's alright" "Stroke him like this" "Come on now" "Put your foot here." "Then one, two and hup!" "Good!" " Okay?" " Yes!" "Good!" "That's great!" "You're riding!" "What's happened to you, Maria?" "I got my sickness benefit backdated. 55.000!" "I'm going to a restaurant to celebrate." "Who wants to come?" "Restaurant's a bit much." "What about a café?" "No, starter, dessert and coffee." "Social training." "I'll go to Bagatelle" " You want to go to Bagatelle?" " We'll dress up." "I'll book a table" "I'm the daughter of a famous artist, so they can just try to turn us down" "Maybe we'd all be like that if they'd let us stop taking medication?" "Who's coming?" "Maria, treating me to a meal would be a waste of money" " What about you?" " I'd smash the whole place up" "Please" " I c-c-c-cunt ..." " Let it all out, Jørgen" "I'm going back to the cli-clu-cu-cunt ..." "I pinched you, and it works!" "Sorry!" "Here it is" "Just walk in calmly." "I'll do the talking" "This way please" "Welcome" "The table's set for six but there are only five of us" " Shall we start with a cold beer?" " We keep to the no-alcohol rule" "I'm not an addict Maria." "My problems aren't like that" "A rule is a rule" "Why not?" "I'm meeting friends here" " Just let me take a look inside" " He's with us" "Hi." "Good that you could come" "You look lovely." "Wow" "137,514 altogether" " What are you thinking about?" " Nothing" "It's just good to be here" " What are you thinking about?" " About how good life can be" " Ready to order?" " Yes." "I'll have ..." "Wild mushroom soup, mussels carpaccio with sea urchin" "Rack of lamb in rosemary   and a raspberry and chocolate concoction for dessert" "Beef." "Well done" "So well done that the chef h-h-ha ..." "And what would you like with that?" "Potatoes." "With sauce so thick you cu-cu ..." "Dangle me a cunt to follow" "This is Tourette's Syndrome,   a rare neurological disturbance" "It is characterised by symptoms like uncontrolled bodily movements   and occasionally, obscenities" "There is no cure, fortunately" "But the symptoms can be treated with medication" "And I get therapy too" "In other words, nothing to worry about" "Cheers!" " I hope you enjoyed the food" " It was quite exceptional" "A real knockout" "We're mostly used to institution food, if you get my meaning" "That's not in the same class as ... f-f-fry me in cunt butter" "I think the chef might have trouble with making that particular dish" "There, there ..." "I'm going out soon" "Out?" "Why?" "Maria" "Why?" "Do it again, Odin." "Come on!" "A raspberry and chocolate concoction for dessert" "Freiner?" "He'll freeze to death" " It's forecast to get even colder" " Maybe that's why he's sitting here" "If he's very drunk then he doesn't know what he wants" "We must get him inside." "Anyone know where he lives?" "We'll ring the clinic" "What about a taxi?" "To take him home" "Call the police, they'll come and fetch him" "Once they find out he's head of Norway's biggest mental hospital,   he won't be able to look people in the eye again" " Then what shall we do?" " Nothing" "He's at peace with himself" "Or do you still want to call the police?" "Check his pockets for ID so he can be sent home in a taxi?" " Shall I take the trolley now?" " Yes, you better eat" "This will be a long and sad day" "I just heard Dr Freiner is dead" "Freiner was brave." "He had problems of his own" "We just walked on." "We walked on" "Freiner is dead" "I can't believe it." "We did nothing" "Do you think he heard us?" "Perhaps he was already dead" "I don't understand." "We should've done something" " That would have offended him" " I'll never forgive myself" "Life has little more to offer me now" "Just the farewell note left" "But should I be considerate?" "Or should I be honest?" " Doesn't Freiner bother you at all?" " At least he's at peace." "Not like me" "Shut up, you bloody coward!" "You'll never die, you're all talk" "I'm still waiting for the right moment" "You have to want it, Aina" "You have to really want it" "Freiner wanted it" "He can die but we're not allowed to" "Jesus Christ!" "Do many come to you?" "Are they sad?" "Does anyone want to come back here?" "No one?" "Goodbye Aina" " Storm Centre" " Ok." "And who is to answer?" " Stetson" " He bloody well works here!" " But he's part of the group" " So are you, Hedda" " I've a few questions for you" " Yes" "Why did you choose this job?" "Do you like to flirt with madness?" "Yes, maybe" "What's your opinion of us and our madness?" "I envy you at times." "You can let yourselves go" "You can scream and shout, and it's always seen as part of a diagnosis" "Would you like to be a patient here?" "Maybe for a while?" "But not so long as to be scared to go back outside again" "We're all sick in here." "I should've thought you knew that" "The pain you feel is everywhere." "It's in here and out there" "So we all might as well get discharged?" "Right?" "I refuse to be lectured to by a fucking coward   who won't even admit to himself who he really is!" "Everyone's life is hard." "The problem is when you won't accept it" "Shut up." "Tell me instead why you broke it off with Ruben?" " Ruben?" " Ruben, who loves you so much" " We aren't talking about Ruben" " You're crazy about him too" "He's run off so you won't lose your job" "And you let him do it, you bloody coward you!" " Aina" " Is it true?" "It's a breach of faith to have a relationship with a patient" "What happens to Ruben now?" " What if you could save Ruben?" " Only Ruben can save himself" " Wouldn't you save me either?" "." " Not like that" "Anyway, it wouldn't solve your problems" "You don't know that!" "Promise me you'll think about what it would do to me if you ..." "If something happens" "It's up to me whether I live or die" "It doesn't matter" "Stop that!" "Get lost, you bloody queer!" "I'm going out soon." "They've given me some teaching at the university" "So bloody stuck-up we are now!" "Aina, what's happening?" "Are you drifting away from us?" "Aina" "It's only these" "Why?" "There's nothing I want to see or hear or say" "Don't do this." "Give them to me" "No" " Please" " No" "Give them to me" " Please" " No!" "Aina, calm down" "No." "No!" "They aren't mine." "They're Maria's" "Aina, calm down!" "Aina, listen to me" "Relax" "I'm going to tell you something" "We're just people" "And we're all going to die" "We must carry each other's burden." "Though we can't know what is involved" "We must do our best." "Forgive everyone who tries hard" "Forgive Stetson" "Forgive me." "And yourself" "Come here." "Come here, child" "If I could have my life over again " " I'd freight fox-furs down to Rome." "Coachmen are okay people" "Wage a cold war against the Mafia." "I'd get the skins there on time" "Now that's what I call real work" "You want to live your life again?" "I said if, if, if ..." "Anyway, the wheel is the curse of mankind" "After we invented it that's when it all started to go too fast for us" " How old are you?" " 107!" " Someone's happy here" " Where's Zoran?" " Talking to his voices" " He could be a long time" " Chocolate cake is my favourite" " Wait for the birthday boy" "He's got a lot of voices to talk to." "Now blow, Tussi" "It's a good night tonight." "Tonight we believe in life" " We'll survive, Odin" " You just wait and see" "Time flies anyway." "It goes even faster if you don't think too much" "No-one has a monopoly on reality" "It's late." "I'm going to lie-down" "Look after Tussi for me." "He's such a bad loser" "Zoran?" "Was something wrong with Odin?" "Odin ... ?" "Odin ... ?" "Are you here?" "Odin!" "Odin the strong" " Did they find all his fingers?" " They usually do" "They're always very particular about such matters" "What happened to us?" "How much do you want to know?" "Odin is dead." "Zoran has stopped wandering" "Tussi was found in the well" "Now he's in heaven, free from his gowns and his gloves" "Ruben vanished." "I hope he became a famous drag queen somewhere" "Formula is happy, teaching special groups at the university" "Moffa works on an oil rig." "Jørgen got new medicine" "He is now rock-steady as a priest." "He married Moffa and Maria" "Stetson is a qualified psychologist" "Storm Centre works in a Garden Centre" "Walking around strong as a bear, carrying big boxes of flowers" "You'd like all this to be true, wouldn't you?" "And it is true" "I'll never, ever forget you" "Have a good journey, Odin" "And me?" "Every day I win the fight against the darkness lurking in the bushes" "But now I have the sun" "Right now I'm in the sunlight" "English translation:" "Robert Ferguson"