"Hey, June." "Come have some food." "I think I'm gonna go watch the fireworks." "You want to go out?" "Yeah, I'm gonna go out." "Okay." "Call if you need anything." "Dexter..." "How you gonna satisfy me?" "Uh, not like that." "Listen Dexter, I gotta go." "Because." "Look, I'll talk to you later." "Bye." "Dexter!" "You in there?" "!" "You better get some ribs while there's some left!" "No, ma." "I'm good." "Fucking mirrors, man." "Ow!" "Hello?" "Hey." "Yeah." "On time." "Plaid shirt." "No one is here." "Okay." "Cool." "June?" "Hi there." "Hey." "My God..." "What a wasteland." "My car." "Oh, yeah." "Okay." "You okay?" "Yeah, yeah..." "I used to shop here." "It was a Marshall's." "Anyway..." "Oh, okay." "Well..." "Yeah." "Let's go." "So, on the road." "Yeah." "I love driving." "Driving gotta be the most America thing there is." "You having a good Fourth of July?" "Yeah." "It's fine." "Fourth of July." " Like apple pie." " Huh?" "Driving..." "You said it was the most American thing there is." "Like apple pie." "Oh..." "Yeah." "We might be able to see some fireworks tonight." "Where?" "It's the Fourth of July..." "Fireworks everywhere." "It's illegal here." "Illegal?" "That's the other American thing." "What?" "Breaking the law." "You know, we're breaking the law." "We are?" "This state still has adultery laws." "We're having an affair?" "So do I look like the sound of my voice?" "Yeah, I guess." "This how you imagined me?" "Yeah, I guess." "I didn't really imagine anything." "You look a lot like I imagined you." "You're a cutie." "Whatever." "I was thinking we could go see a movie tonight." "Oh, yeah?" "What's your favorite?" "I don't really have any favorites." "Come on, you have to have a favorite movie." "I haven't thought about it much." "I'd have to think about it." "You're like an expert." "I feel stupid." "C'mon." "Don't be scared of me." "You're not intimidated by me, are you?" "I like Truman Capote." "Minor, minor, minor." "Well, what are your favorite books?" "No." "Tell me more of yours." "I was just joking." "Breakfast at Tiffany's - that was a great book." "Gore Vidal?" "Do you read any straight writers?" "You gotta be proud of yourself." "You gotta believe in yourself." "You say 'I like Truman Capote', say 'I LOVE Truman Capote'." "Say it with force." "Say it with flare." "Present yourself." "Make people listen." "You gotta come out from behind that computer." " You with me?" " Okay." "You need some confidence, some cockiness." "A little America." "I don't really like America." "America has done a lot of bad things." "Who hasn't?" "It's just by wanting to be the best." "Okay." "No more politics." "You're making me angry." "Sorry." "I'm gonna give you the most" "American Fourth of July you've ever had." "What do you have to say about that?" "It's all about excess!" "Being big!" "Being loud!" "You with me?" "!" "AMERICA!" "GOD BLESS AMERICA!" "That's better." "I don't scream." "That's not my style." "On the count of three." "1, 2, 3..." "I see." "Okay." "We'll make you scream a little later." "You are not coming over." "You're picking me up!" "I have work to do." "I gotta be here when my dad calls." "At a conference in Boston." "Hold on." "Dexter, I gotta go." "Mommy?" "What time is it?" "Almost there." "Cool." "Sure you don't want anything?" "Yeah." "I'm pretty full." "When did you eat?" "Before I left." "What did you have?" "Just, you know..." "Hot dog, whatever." "One hot dog?" "Yeah." "How are you full on one hot dog?" "I'm okay." "So why did they name you June?" "Were you supposed to be conceived in June?" "No, I was supposed to be born in June." "Supposed?" "Yeah, well..." "I was born in April." "I was six weeks premature." "I was supposed to be born in June, so they named me June." "You do a lot of acting?" "No..." "I've had a few shows, a few roles." "Mostly chorus." "And why haven't you come out to your parents?" "I don't know." "Do you love them?" "Yeah." "A lot." "I love my parents." "We all do." "So, why don't you tell them?" " Because I can't." " Why not?" "I don't want to." "I don't know." "Are you waiting until you have a boyfriend?" "I don't think I'll ever tell them." "Why?" "I don't know!" "'Cause I'm the only son." "I know my mom wants grandkids." "I don't really feel right about..." "About being gay." "I don't like that word." " What word?" " Gay." " Queer?" " Shh." "You know people here?" "I might." "I don't know." "It was my dad's idea to name me June." "My mom wanted to name me Franklin." "So what do they do?" "My dad works for the state, the Department of Transportation." "He studies traffic patterns and stuff." "Helps retime stop lights." "And my mom is a dental assistant." "You must have sparkling teeth then." "Not really." "I do love them..." "A lot." "I just..." "Does anyone know?" "Well, you." "Me?" "Beautiful." "What?" "The lights go down." "Like sinking into a collective dream." "Suddenly, you're anonymous." "You get that sexual charge." "Charge of excitement." "Anticipation." "Danger." "Hold this." "Welcome to Cinemark." "Remember to visit our concessions stand." "Please silence your cell phones and enjoy the show." "Hello?" "Hey, baby." "Hi, Daddy!" "Happy Fourth of July!" "Happy Fourth of July to you too." "How's she doing?" "She's okay." "She's asleep." "Okay." "Good." "How's the conference?" "Quite a spot on the Fourth of July." "A lot of pride here." "A lot of white pride." "Boston's such a white city." "That's why Daddy loves it." "I stand out here." "You making people mad?" "I'm making people listen." "So, yeah, I'm making people mad." "What are you doing tonight?" "Just staying in." "Thank you, for taking care of your mother." "It's no problem." "I wish I could be there." "You know how much it means to me." "Where are you?" "It's loud." "Hotel lobby, honey." "Sounds like..." "Remember when we used to go to the movies on the Fourth of July?" "Daddy?" "Yeah, baby?" "Nothing." "Should I call you later?" "No, don't call;" "it will wake her up." "I love you, baby." "I love you too." "Bye, bye." "Bye." "Dexter, what you doing?" "If you wanna come pick me up for a little while, you can." "But only for like 15 minutes." "Yeah, baby." "Fifteen minutes all I need." "You're so nasty." "Just come, okay?" "Alright, I'll be right there." "Bye." "So, why'd you change your mind?" "Changed my mind." "No reason." "There's always a reason." "So, you can get off this subject now." "Wow." "Okay." "If you're gonna act all bitchy, I'll take you home." "You'll take me however I am." "And don't call me a bitch." " I did not call you a bitch." " Yes, you did." "I said you were acting bitchy." "I wouldn't call you a bitch." "I never call a woman a bitch." "You call your mother a bitch." "That's my mother." "Alright." "Starting over." "Commercial break." "La-di-da." "Where you wanna go?" "You wanna go to the park?" "I don't like the park." "Then where?" "You don't wanna see the fireworks." "Don't wanna go to the park." "Where you wanna go?" "Don't wanna go nowhere." "I hate this town." "You told me on the computer the first night we met." "You said you had a friend you used to fool around with?" "Yeah." "What was his name?" "Todd." "Todd..." "That's right." "How come you don't speak to him anymore?" "I just never really..." "Once middle school came, he started acting weird." "Like a faggot?" "Yeah, I guess." "Wearing flamboyant clothes?" "Yeah..." "And he started hanging out with all girls." "I wonder what he's doing tonight?" "He's probably out." "I know he goes to Chez." " The bar Chez?" " Yeah." "And they don't beat the shit out of him at school?" "I guess people just leave him alone because he's too weird or something." "Do people leave you alone?" "Yeah, I guess." "I don't really talk a lot." " Wanna go and see him?" " No!" "C'mon!" "We're only five minutes away." "I don't want to do that." "So you're not scared to meet some guy you just met on the computer." "But you're scared to see someone" " I don't want to know him." " Why not?" "I don't know." "When we were 13, he was still pretty normal." "I know 'cause, he used to be on the swim team and I used to dive." "I wasn't really talking to him or anything." "We had this swim coach, and he was the diving coach too..." "I had a funny feeling about him." " Fag?" " Yeah." "What?" "No, go on." "I'm anticipating the story." "Go on." "One night my mom was really late to pick me up." "And I saw Ted give Todd a ride home in his car... which coaches, I mean, you're not supposed to." "It was making me really mad, like I didn't know what to do." "I decided to give him a call - to see, like..." "Just to see if he was home." "And I don't know why or anything." "I just said, like meanly, like," "'You're gay, aren't you?" "'" "And then I hung up." "You hung up?" "I hung up..." "And I never spoke to him again after that." "I don't know if he knew if it was me or not, but I just never..." "I hated him after that." "You hated him?" "Yeah." "I just..." "I don't know." "Okay, June..." "Where do you want to go right now?" "Where do I want to go?" "Okay, just tell me." "C'mon." "Just tell me." "This is your night." "You're the young man, I'm the old man." "Tell me." "Coach Donavan said he thinks I'm like the best" "Division II player he's ever seen." "Says he wants to give me a transfer to a Division I school." "But that my grades are a little bit bad." "Plus, my record." "But apparently some schools are still interested, so, you know, that's cool." "Which schools?" "A couple." "Watch this..." "Oh, God!" "Showoff." "So tell me..." "Why'd you change your mind?" "Felt like it." "Yeah?" "I know I'm a white boy and you ain't into that kind of thing." "Half white, half spic." "Don't sell yourself short." "Oh!" "You're a little bit racist!" "I mean, apparently you ain't into either one." "I never said that." "That I'm not into white boys." "I never said that." "So then tell me..." "You think I'm cute?" "You think I'm handsome?" "You think I'm pretty?" "You can tell me." "C'mon!" "I don't like your questions." "What if I told you..." "I think you're pretty?" "I'd accept the complement." "What if I told you" "I think that you are beautiful?" "I think that you are beautiful chocolate." "You just ruined it by calling me chocolate." "What if I told you I think you're beautiful - no chocolate?" "Even though it's delicious." "I know you're intentions." "You know that, right?" "You know you ain't fooling me." "I don't got no intentions." "I mean, fuck that." "I'm here with you right." "You were saying." "I wasn't saying anything." "You were saying that... you think that I'm cute sometimes." "Yeah?" "Yeah." "Alright, so then when?" "When do you think I'm cute?" "When you're smiling like a little boy." "You think I'm like a little boy?" "Sometimes." "You don't get it..." "It's hard to talk to you." "You think I'm stupid, don't you?" "You think I'm like at home playing with Legos, puttin' my finger up my nose and shit." "You think I'm not good enough for you." "That I can't understand your thoughts, or whatever is going on in your head." "I got thoughts too." "Watch." "Before the night is out... you're gonna tell me your thoughts." "I wish you did want to see the fireworks." "But you don't wanna do that." "That's okay, maybe we could stay here." "That's cool too." "We can see the sky get all bright..." "Watch the clouds light up..." "That's cool too." "I used to love coming here." "Everybody knew who I was." "I played basketball." "I was the leading scorer." "They wrote about me in the newspaper." "The only thing I didn't like to do was confession." "I hated that shit." "You believe in God?" "I believe in God." "I don't got no reason not too." "I don't know why I wouldn't." "My dad didn't believe in God, look at that bitch." "He's fat and toothless." "Don't talk about your dad that way." "Don't tell me how to talk about my dad." "Some kids gettin' an early start!" "What you kissing me for?" "You okay?" "You are so warm." "Let's go." "Where?" "Your house." "My house?" "Why don't we go to your house?" "I wanna go." "C'mon." "Wait, wait." "Come here." "Give me another kiss." "I wanna go." "Damn." "You are so warm." "Dexter." "Okay." "Okay." "Wait, wait." "Thank you." "I love motels, I love 'em." "Why?" "Just do." "Just love 'em." "There always here." "Always open." "TV." "Shower." "Phone." "The essential tools of living in a completely anonymous setting." "You can re-invent yourself." "And this book..." "The greatest book ever." "The Bible is the greatest book ever?" "It's inspired and enraged so many people." "That's what makes it the best book." "I hate going to church." "Why do you go then?" "My parents go." "We've always gone." "Turn on the TV." "You know, I bet motels are one of the few places people feel comfortable reading the Bible." "Anything on?" "Not much." "Turn it off." "I'm just gonna take a shower." "Why do you have to take a shower?" "I want to." " You nervous?" " No." "I'll put you at ease." "No." "I just feel..." "I'm not clean." "I feel a little sweaty." "Okay." "It's up to you." "I'll just..." "I'll be quick." "I volunteer a couple days a week." "At the University." "I see a lot of kids in trouble these days." "Sad kids." "I didn't seem that sad when I was growing up." "We learned to keep a lot inside." "We didn't expect too much." "Maybe that was... a good thing, you know." "The other day I was with this man." "And he was very poor." "He was on food stamps and welfare." "And he's white." "He'd just had it." "He's a little older than me." "Graduated from high school." "But he hadn't gone to college." "And he had a family." "Can you hear me in there?" "!" "Yeah!" "Well, he had a family." "And he lost his family." "He left them." "And he married another woman." "And then he left her too." "And then he stopped trying to be married." "He wanted to..." "be on his own." "He wanted to do what he wanted to do." "The work that I do - it's a counseling center." "It's a health center." "I see a lot of kids." "It's a surprise to see an older person - especially a man." "And he's there getting his blood tested." "And as we were talking..." "I started to realize." "I started..." "to remember this man." "Well, I realized this... was the first man I slept with." "I remember because he had a scar on the bottom of his left ear." "It looked like a snake, I remember thinking." "It was the 80s." "And I was going through a rough point at that time." "The good thing about this disease is that it makes most people start thinking about sex instead of just having it." "You know what I'm saying?" "Many people start thinking about the other person and what they may have inside of them." "I think.... this disease is the best thing that ever happened to gay men because... in a certain sense it has made us human." "But I could go on forever about this." "I'm getting away from the story." "Are you interested?" "!" "I'll stop." "I'll stop talking." "Can you hear me?" "!" "No...uh..." "Keep going." "I didn't bring it up to him, of course." "I look different." "He wouldn't recognize me." "I started thinking about... the myths of first love, first sex." "How for gay boys of today... their first AIDS test is the equivalent of a straight boy losing his virginity." "What's wrong?" "Nothing." "You're all dressed." "Did you shower?" "Are you okay?" "Yeah, no, I'm fine." "I just..." "This is a mistake, isn't it?" " No!" " Let's not do this." "You don't have to do this." "I just..." "I don't know." " I don't want to go home." " What do you want?" "I'm sorry." "I'm horny." "You're what?" "I'm horny." "What do you want, June?" "June, June, June..." "You are beautiful." "You are beautiful." "You beautiful boy." "Nah, ma." "We're good." "See, I told you your place was better." "It's a little...messy." "Entré." "Entré, madam." "You can sit down if you like." "You saw what I was talking about, right?" "The neighborhood, it's mixed." "What do you mean?" "That I grew up in." "We have black people and shit." "You know what's funny, though?" "I talk like I'm black, right?" "And you talk like you're a white girl." "I do not talk like a white girl." "What you mean, you don't?" "Your mama white?" "No!" "She's black!" "Damn, girl." "Why you say it like that?" "Like what?" "Like you angry or some shit." "You got a nice room." "It's small, but it's cozy," "Little Miss Change-the-Subject." "All these posters." "I wish I was black." "I do..." "Sometimes I just wish I was black." "What?" "You alright?" "Yeah." "I'm ready to go home." "How come you ain't talkin'?" "You're not talkin' either." "You could have taken the left-over barbecue." "It was good." "I don't eat meat." "Maybe tomorrow you want to go see a movie?" "I have to work." "Where you work at?" "Things around the house." "Help out my mom." "And my father's coming home." "You haven't said anything." "Hmm?" "You haven't said anything about it." "Was it okay?" "No, um..." "Yeah... it was." "I just..." " I mean, was it okay?" " Yes." "Yes." "I'm sorry that I..." "It's okay, June." "Your mother ever let people come over the house?" "She doesn't like it." "I think it makes her sad." "Why is that?" "She doesn't want to be reminded." "Of what?" "Other people." "I don't understand." "You don't have to." "Damn." "Fine." "You okay?" "Pull over here." "Why?" "What happened?" "Just do it!" "You okay?" "You sick or something?" "Shut up!" "Hey, baby." "Hello?" "Abigayle?" "Hello?" "Are you there?" "Drive." " Where?" " Just drive, okay!" "Time to make a decision." "It's up to you, really." "Okay." "We are going to..." "Chez." "No!" "Oh, alright!" "An answer!" "Emphatic at that!" "I just don't want to go there." " You're scared" " I'm not!" "What's up?" "Can I come in?" "Dexter, my mom is sleeping." "I promise I'll be quiet." "No." "C'mon." "I let you come over." "Five minutes." "Dexter, no!" "Five minutes, I promise I'll be quiet!" "I'll start screaming." "Your neighbors will think you're getting raped or something." "You just won't quit, will you?" "Help!" "Somebody help me!" "Five minutes." "Don't say a word." "I promise." "Two cokes." "Can we go now, please?" "Give me a few minutes" "I did what you wanted." "I'm not scared." "What do I have to prove to you anyway?" "June?" "Why don't you say something?" " You should talk to him." " I'm leaving." "Fuck!" "Fuck you!" "June?" "Wow!" "What are you doing here?" "Hi." "I'm Joe." "Todd." " Nice to meet you." " Likewise." "I can't believe it!" "It's so good to see you." "We have some beer and stuff, maybe you'd want to..." "June!" "Go away!" "Leave me alone!" "Leave me alone!" "What do you want?" "!" "I told you, I don't know!" "Well, answer that!" "And then you'll know where you're going!" "It's not like I can choose!" "It's not like I can choose to be skinny like that, or handsome or whatever!" "Let me tell you what you want." "Tell me what?" "!" "What you want, what will make you happy." "You can't tell me what I want!" "You want...a boyfriend." "You want to be in love." "You want someone sleeping next to you." "You want someone to stroke your head." "You cry yourself to sleep, don't you?" "You spend four hours on the computer, looking for someone to meet." "You want someone to make you feel real, someone to touch you." "You don't know what I want!" "I'm being honest with you." "I care about you." "Maybe I should go!" "June." "Let me go!" "Let me go!" "Come over here and sit down." "Alright." "When I was little..." "When I was four." "What's wrong with her?" "She's just weak." "Just got weak." "So, she's just weak then?" "Yeah." "What about your pop?" "Is he cool?" "He's a good man." "He loves me, he works hard." "Not much to say." "He travels a lot." "That's cool." "Where does he travel to?" "I don't really want to talk about it, okay?" "Alright." " I'm sorry." " It's okay." "Times up." "I'm sorry." "Can I use your bathroom?" "Dexter..." "I promise you, that's it." "I'm gone." "Across the hall." "Oh..." "I'm sorry..." "I came out of the bathroom, and I heard a noise over here, I just..." "Fuck you!" "You fucking loser!" "Stop it!" "Stop it!" "I'm sorry!" "I'm sorry." "What's this?" "It's me, my mom, and my pops - when I was eight, after a basketball game." "My dad used to teach me basketball." "I want you to keep it." "Why should I keep this?" "You're gonna miss the fireworks." "I don't wanna go to the fireworks." "I don't want this." "Thanks." "Hold on." "What?" "I got you something." "What did you get?" "It's just a little something." "Don't look now." "Okay." "June?" "Hello?" "Hi, it's me." "I'll be back in a little while." "I'm watching them right now... with some friends." "Yeah." "What do you want?" "Do you want some water?" "Go look at the fireworks outside?" "Do you want anything?"