"I'm flying." "I'm flying over the city at night." "There's lights, all different kinds of lights." "I'm checking all the bulbs, and I get to this one big silver light bulb, and it's busted, and it won't turn on, and I can't fix it." "Oh." "There's this big slot machine, you know, and, uh, it's live, and I keep feeding it quarters, and I get a shock, so I check the cables, and the cables are sticking out of my chest," "and they're attached to my heart, and I want to- I want to yank them out, but my arms won't move because they're- they're just frozen." "You know how you... anyway, it's a stupid dream." "It woke me up." "That's what woke me up." "It's an alimony dream." "What?" "It's obvious it's an alimony dream." "No." "That's a nightmare, and I don't need to go to sleep to have it." "Is that me or you?" "Me." "The body of christ." "The body of christ." "Excuse me." "The body of christ." "Excuse me." "What do you think you're doing here?" "She happens to be my goddaughter, too." "No." "You don't belong to this family anymore." "What do you look like?" ""Gus don't pay me enough alimony to buy decent clothes"?" "You're supposed to believe in these things to be here, which you don't, as we know, so why don't you do me a favor, huh?" "I was invited." "By who?" "Of course you weren't invited." "I got an invitation." "You got an invitation don't mean you're invited." "The polite thing is you don't show up." "Yeah, well, I did." "Is that your girlfriend?" "Whoa." "Just a minute." "You don't talk to me, I don't talk to you." "That's really mature." "Yeah, right." "Give me a big smile." "I got to go." "Why don't we go over to your sister's?" "Are you kidding me?" "If she sees my car," "I'll have her lawyer breathing down my neck." "Don't you pay what you're supposed to?" "What?" "What?" "I'm just asking." "This woman feels trapped- trapped in the neighborhood, trapped as my wife." "She leaves me, goes to college, and here's the joke- she leaves, I'm trapped to pay for it." ""Supposed to" don't come into it." "You don't have to shout at me, Gus." "I know." "It's just..." "I look at her..." "I just have to see her, and I go nuts." "You never told me she was so beautiful." "You think she's beautiful?" "She looks like a slob." "No." "She looks good." "Who's driving?" "You see?" "No." "Why?" "You wanted to go." "Let's go." "How was it?" "I don't see this guy forever, and in 10 seconds, I want to kill him." "Anyway, I did it." "My hands are shaking, but..." "I like that you waited for me." "I know-for a change, my waiting for you." "I didn't mean that." "How long do you have?" "An hour." "About an hour." "So?" "What are you waiting for?" "I mean, drive faster!" "I used to bowl here when I was a kid." "First place my old man took me to." "Now look at it." "You know this place?" "Yeah." "I bowled here." "So did I." "When was you there?" "When I was a kid." "Jesus." "It's macaroni down there." "Don't stick your head down in the hole." "Use your tester." "Hide your wallets." "Here comes your investment counselor." "Oh!" "Pope." "Hey." "I got to talk to you about the turkey deal." "Harvey, I don't eat turkeys." "You don't have to." "Am I a martian or something?" "I can't explain a simple idea?" "Buy turkeys cheap, sell them expensive." "It's like commodities- rubber, coffee." "We buy turkeys." "What's so hard to understand there?" "You guys are a trip." "Every week you got a different scheme." "One of these days, we'll be over on easy street." "Uh-huh." "Hey!" "Hey, Gus!" "I need that car, man!" "Hey!" "Bring it in!" "Up." "All right." "How about it?" "Forget it." "Hey, Gus, come on!" "Hey!" "I'm paying cash!" "You said 50,000?" "Mm-hmm." "Take a look at these forms." "Bring them to third floor admissions." "Look for the signs that say "to radiology"." "Yeah." "Gus:" "Uhh!" "Uhh!" "Uhh!" "Sign here for me, please." "I got to get straight back." "Kiss me." "Mmm." "This is a hospital." "I know." "Your kisses make me better." "I'm working." "Isn't there, like, a closet we could go play doctor in or a gurney we could lay down on?" "Why didn't you come over before my shift?" "I was working." "Rita, you know I like to clean up." "I smelled like a freaking sewer." "I got a shower- you want to take the elevator back where you came from." "Follow the signs, go to the third floor." "Push me." "What?" "They'll think I'm a patient." "You got my message about Friday, right?" "Yeah." "Okay." "If I stop paying alimony, that company's in big trouble." "What about Saturday?" "Saturday, I'm on nights." "This relationship, I swear, you need a degree in planning." "If we had a place- I know this subject is taboo- this would not be a problem." "C- co..." "can you say this word- commitment?" "C- c-c-c-c..." "m- m-m-m... nah." "Which way is speech therapy?" "Get out." "Hey, I'm only kidding." "All right." "You got the keys?" "Yeah." "Look at this place." "Where are the lanes?" "In the basement." "That sign alone is worth something." "Oh, man, this is great." "Be careful in there." "You see, this to me is beautiful." "Say this goes wrong." "It's not like turkeys, Harv." "You screw up with turkeys, it's sandwiches your whole life." "You screw up here, do lots of bowling." "You can't like a turkey, you know." "You can't feel for them." "It's like those things in the necks, the como se llama things." "You go into business, it's got to be something you love." "My father loves dresses." "My uncle adores surgical supports." "What has love got to do with it anyway?" "Gizzards!" "That's what it is." "Man, they are disgusting." "I spoke with the realtor." "I can make a good deal." "This place is in foreclosure." "Any decent offer, the place is ours." "The only problem is electrical work." "Somehow, I think we can manage." "No, no." "We could be very comfortable with this, very comfortable." "I quit." "Please." "No, no." "Hypnosis." "Amazing. 100 bucks- whew-completely clear." "You paid 100 bucks to a hypnotist?" "I spend $100 a month on cigarettes." "After one month, I'm in profit." "When did you quit?" "Yesterday." "Hey, pork chop!" "Easy with the floors." "This may be our livelihood." "Star lanes." "What?" "Star lanes." "Stars got 5 points." "There's 5 of us." "Huh?" "Star lanes." "That's a terrible name." "What was its name?" "If there's only one, it's the bowling alley." "It's huge." "It needs more lights." "Big deal." "Needs more everything." "Going to be lots of work." "This is a lot of work we'll do for ourselves." "This could be beautiful." "This could be great." "Fellas, fellas, polish up your bowling balls and leave everything to me." "Star lanes." "I like it." "I was just thinking..." "I got an uncle in Gloverston who makes shoes." "I could talk to him about making bowling shoes." "We know lots of people between us, carpenters and stuff." "Yeah." "What?" "I'm dreaming." "Why do you say that?" "Where am I going to find my share?" "Each month, you set some aside." "Take out a loan." "It pays for a fatal disease I got called an ex-wife." "I don't figure alimony." "You pay that forever?" "A new car, you make 36 payments, it's yours." "I keep paying unless she gets married again." "So there's your solution." "Find her another husband." "That's a good one, Pope." "Put that in the suggestion box." "Gus, um..." "Does-does Rita like you to wear aftershave?" "What?" "What do you make of this?" "It's okayay." "How about this?" "What is this, a promotion?" "Let me see the other one." "Just, uh, which one's more me?" "Ok." "I'll tell you." "Pope, listen." "Some women like us better without any of this crap." "Soap and water." "Yeah, but I want to smell good, you know?" "Who's the owner of this important nose, anyway?" "She works with my brother." "Is she Italian?" "No." "Italian girls are killers." "She's not Italian." "Start saying a Hail Mary and see if she moves her lips." "Hey." "Think about my idea." "It's not telling her to marry somebody." "Arrange for her to meet somebody." "You think she's dumb?" "She could fit your brain inside her brain and still have room for a bowling ball." "Do me a favor." "Don't mention it again." "I'll see you tomorrow." "We already made you a loan, and we're garnishing your salary until you catch up." "Garnish?" "What am I, a salad?" "I've been with this company for 8 years." "Doesn't that count for anything?" "I'm sorry, mr..." "Demarco." "It's tough times." "What about a payment plan?" "That's what you've got." "What about a payment plan for my payment plan?" "No?" "I guess not, huh?" "Hard times?" "What does he know about hard times?" "What does he know?" "Nothing." "Pope:" "Please don't hassle him." "Gus, there's a time problem on this deal." "We got to know if you're in or out." "I'm out." "He's not out." "He ain't in." "What about Pope's idea, find some sorry sucker, marry off your old lady?" "There are people who take care of these matters." "Pal, you getting in?" "He's deciding." "Let him decide later." "Nick Lippi lost his wife." "What about him and Leonora?" "He's a dope, and he's free." "He's not a dope... and he's not free." "Hey, hey, my friend, give us a break." "Hey." "Give us a break." "There are other people interested in this venture." "Harvey!" "We got to let him know." "Lou Cassells." "Let's give him another week." "Lou Cassells?" "What if we give him another week?" "Professor?" "Hi." "Um, yeah." "I was- where are you going for lunch?" "Where are you going?" "If I knew where you were going," "I'd know where I was going, where we might auspiciously collide." "Well, across the street." "Oh." "That's amazing." "That's where in one minute" "I'll decide to go." "Come on." "Come on." "Let's grab something." "Did you sleep with him?" "What?" "Did you or not?" "Hi, Joyce." "He's cute and all, but I'm telling you... hey, baby." "Go on ahead." "I'll catch up with you." "What are you doing here?" "You can't take it now that the shoe's on the other foot." "What?" "Embarrass me with my people," "I embarrass you." "I am not embarrassed." "Who's the guy?" "What guy?" "Those are girls." "The guy with the library under his arm." "I want to talk to you." "I'm busy." "I thought you college kids were permanently on vacation." "You know, I have a job." "You know this." "I pay $12,000 a year just for tuition." "I pay $12,000 just for your tuition." "Think I want your money?" "Do me a favor." "Marry some other bastard and screw up his life." "I'll pay back every cent." "You won't pay me back because you don't care." "I got something going." "I bet that guy can't even change a fuse." "Look, I don't want to fight with you." "I'm talking about 5 minutes of your time." "This is the chance of a lifetime." "Hey!" "I got this golden opportunity." "Listen to me." "Remember that bowling alley we used to go to?" "Bowling alley?" "Yeah." "You know what's astonishing to me?" "What?" "I see you, I think," ""I knew him from the day I was born." ""I thought I loved him." "I went to church and married him. "" "I think, "how?" "Why?"" "Oh, christ." "Was I mentally ill?" "Was I completely deranged?" "You know- you know something?" "Who gives a shit whether you can change a fuse if the wires aren't connected in your head?" "Do you follow?" "Of course not." "What?" "I just can't- I can't tell you what it feels like to me to know that there's so much to know, so many... what am I trying to say?" "I walk into the library, and I think because I read all this stuff, and I haven't even scratched the surface, and you can laugh at me, but it makes me dizzy." "I'm not laughing." "Listen, I go dizzy." "I run to the car." "I'm running to get to my car to come here." "When I say "run," I mean "hurry. "" "Don't think you have any power over me." "Listen." "I look at you." "When we make love, I look at you." "Tell me I have to go now." "No." "I don't want to." "I don't want you to go anywhere." "Right, right, right." "When I make mine," "I get water, sort of, like, puddles, under the spaghetti." "I heard they use the thing from the bull- its thing." "What thing?" "The tassel, to thicken the sauce." "They call a bull's penis a tassel?" "That's what they call it." "Where's the chips?" "You need beer?" "Yeah." "Your tassel pulled?" "I tried the bank." "I tried my uncle." "I'm high one thing, I'm low something else." "It's the squeeze." "My leverage is poor." "Who the fuck knows?" "I called my nephew the ex-priest." "I can't borrow from him." "Not to borrow money, Chooch, to date your wife." "Hey!" "What is it with you guys, huh?" "I can't introduce 2 lonely people?" "The answer is no." "Anyway, she's not my wife." "Ex-wife." "What's the difference?" "Once married, always married." "That's what they taught us." "Yeah?" "Who taught you, the priest or ex-priest?" "Dante's driving me mental about this operation." "He's having an operation?" "No." "I'm having an operation." "I got a gallstone." "I'm having an operation." "He can't sleep for the worry." "I wish I could get Gus to worry about me." "This guy, love him less, Rita." "You love him less, he'll love you more." "Yeah?" "How do I do that?" "I'm sorry, but I think Leonora poisoned the well." "There are 3 sides to every story- his, hers, and the truth." "What is that supposed to mean?" "Oh, honey, it's history." "They were kids." "He's still a kid." "Hannah's right." "He should thank god for you." "It's not history." "He's embarrassed because he can't go in with his friends because of the alimony." "He's too scared to live with me." "These men, they can't help it." "That's one race, and this is another." "Oh, god." "Now she's crying." "Oh, sweetheart." "Come on." "Come on." "Ok." "Cry on those." "What?" "But this is my gnocchi." "She cries on these and feeds them to Gus." "He swallows her tears, means he'll never break her heart." "Now I heard everything." "It works." "I still got wedding cake under my pillow." "We been happy 28 years." "What wedding cake?" "A piece of my wedding cake." "Like, crumbs?" "No." "It's in a thing, a little silk purse." "Crumbs." "Good." "Excuse me." "I'm looking for a woman." "Leonora Demarco." "She's working in the potting room." "That's the second door on your left." "Thank you." "You're welcome." "Why this feeling?" "Why this glow?" "Mr. Wonderful?" "Excuse me?" "Funny face seeks mr." "Wonderful." "I guess I got the wrong guy." "Yeah, you got the wrong guy, all right." "You looked like you were looking for someone." "Aquatic greenhouse, 3:00, and... no." "Sorry." "Whoa!" "Sorry." "It's okayay." "Hey, it's the perfect job for you." "You hate cleaning, and you hate kids." "What is your problem?" "Do I come and bug you at your place of work?" "You're right." "I'm a jerk." "Listen, I just came to apologize because I was being a jerk, and I'm sorry." "And?" "And nothing." "Just for the record," "I never said I hated kids." "You did." "Actually, I love babies." "But, anyway." "Anyway." "So I was wrong about the babies." "I'm sorry." "I'm kind of sorried out." "Hey, look, I don't want to bother you, but out of curiosity, what are they paying you here?" "What?" "Nothing." "It's poop and scoop." "I can see that." "Listen, I spoke to uncle Bruno- what do you mean, you spoke to uncle Bruno?" "The deli would pay you more, which means I could pay you less, and you won't feel guilty." "We could be happy and forget all this bullshit." "You have any idea the strings that were pulled to get this job?" "Nothing could drag me back to that neighborhood." "You were always ashamed of me, ashamed of where you come from." "You dumped me." "You're still a guinea." "I didn't." "Sorry." "I must be delusional." "I must be thinking of some other girl who walked out." "Are you mr." "Wonderful?" "No, no, no." "This always happens." "You're mr." "Wonderful, right?" "Funny face?" "No." "I'm not funny face." "You're mr." "Wonderful." "You're meeting a lady." "3:00." "So what's going on?" "She's waiting for you." "She probably left." "You better hurry." "Hey, thanks!" "Thanks a million!" "What was that about?" "Matchmaking." "A little hobby of mine." "You have no hobbies you can't bet money on." "That's what you think." "This bugs me." "We've changed." "I could find you the perfect guy." "You should let me." "No." "I'm serious." "I found somebody, and I'm happy." "I want you to be happy, too." "You want to find me a job and a man?" "What next?" "Wash my underwear?" "No, thanks." "We got an attitude problem." "We're divorced." "We won't split up over it." "You live in a pigsty." "You dress like a bag lady." "You break my balls." "If you want to know, although it's none of your business," "I have a date now who likes my attitude and likes the way I live and dress." "Great." "Lee, how are you?" "George, I'd like you to meet one of my students." "Lee, this is my son George." "Hello." "Hi, George." "I'm sorry about this." "I'm sorry." "It doesn't matter." "Don't worry." "It does matter." "It does matter." "Now I've made you sad, and I" "George:" "Daddy!" "Oh!" "Uh!" "Let daddy help you." "Come around the garden with us." "No." "I don't think so." "Come on!" "How can we persuade lee to walk around the garden with us?" "I'll see you in class, professor." "Bye." "Oh... well." "Mr. Wonderful:" "I was worried." ""Oh, no." "She's not going to show up. "" "I was waiting for you." "Why did you choose funny face?" "Don't throw your cigarette in there." "I wasn't planning to." "Good." "Because I like those turtles." "Yeah." "They know how to live." "Swim around, mate for life." "They don't." "I think it's swans." "What do you get, divorced turtles?" "I guess it's rough." "There's plenty of fish in the sea." "Not too many turtles in this pond." "Well... you better get going." "You don't want to miss your date." "What?" "Your date." "It's tonight." "Oh, now it's tonight?" "Yeah." "Your date right now is tonight?" "Ok, so who's this perfect guy?" "Excuse me?" "This guy you're hot to set me up with." "Got a problem with a working guy?" "No." "So you'll meet him?" "I don't know." "Maybe." "Hey, great." "Calm down." "I said maybe." "I'll see you later." "Great." "Hey, lee!" "I'll find you a mr." "Wonderful!" "Yeah." "Right." "Okay." "I'll hold my breath." "Hey, Marlon." "Hey!" "What's up, fella?" "How you doing?" "Sandwich looks good." "Your wife make it?" "One of the beautiful things about marriage, huh?" "Mills, you dead or still single?" "I'm a bachelor, Gus." "It's terrible, the junk he eats." "I got a solution." "I know this chick." "She's funny, really funny, and smart." "Look, I don't know, Gus." "If she's smart, I'm not smart." "You know what I'm saying?" "She's not a super-brain or anything." "Hey." "Hey, Harry, how you doing?" "What are you eating?" "Cheeseburger!" "You want a bite?" "No." "They go right to the love handles." "They're only love handles if you got someone to love." "Got someone?" "2 somebodies." "That's my problem." "Right." "This is a disaster." "Every one of these guys is married." "You guys want some of this?" "No, thanks." "It's excellent." "Try it." "Pope?" "Yeah." "Thanks, Mike." "Mmm." "This is great meat loaf." "I made it myself." "No kidding?" "No." "I cook all the time." "I love to cook." "For the whole family?" "No." "No family, Gus." "I cook for myself." "How about you?" "I like to cook, but I like to cook for someone special." "Well, first you got to meet somebody special." "Whenever I talk to women," "I feel like I got a hump on my back." "No." "I don't see any hump." "I got a lot to give." "I got a nice house." "Keep it nice." "But I don't know." "With women..." "I don't know." "Hey, you know, you guys, you're getting me all depressed here." "Mikey." "Mike." "Just remember this." "For every pot, there's a lid." "You're crazy." "This is crazy." "I know." "I know." "You're such a sweetheart." "If you sneeze, I say there's a phone call?" "Anything." "Just bail me out." "Can you sneeze when you want?" "Ah-choo!" "That's a very realistic sneeze." "That's good." "Oh, my god." "Oh, my god." "This is him." "I don't know you?" "Right, right." "Leonora?" "Yeah." "That's me." "I'm Mike Crosbie." "Hi, Mike." "How are you doing?" "Ok." "Mind if I sit down?" "No, of course not." "I never had a date at 11 a. m." "Before." "Would you like a cup of coffee?" "Yeah." "But I should get you one." "I have one." "Coffee, please." "Decaf?" "Sure, sure." "I don't mind." "So, Mike, what do you do?" "I'm on the red wagons." "I'm working the 9 p. m." "Shift." "That's how come I'm free." "Working that shift, no one will marry you?" "No, no." "I'm working..." "that shift." "That's how come I can be here." "Now." "What you said before, about getting married," "I wouldn't want to say." "Excuse me?" "I wouldn't want to say right away." "I already told that to Gus." "I want to talk things over with my parents first." "Ah-choo!" "God bless you." "Uh, phone call." "I know." "I thought, "not Mike." "Mario. "" "Mario's perfect." "What?" "What?" "Hey, come on." "Come on." "You broke the ice, didn't you?" "Do this one for me." "To tell you the truth, I already promised Mario." "Absolutely." "Ok, he's a terrific guy." "You got a free lunch out of it anyway, didn't you?" "No?" "Well, listen." "I guarantee a free lunch with Mario." "Ok." "You're a peach." "I'll talk to you later?" "Right." "Bye-bye." "Yes!" "All right!" "Who is Mario?" "A cousin of Loretta's cousin." "Good." "So he's family." "I got good feelings about Mario." "His name's Dominic beard, and he's a pharmacist over at the hospital, and he's a genuine triple "s. "" "Triple "s"?" "Smart, successful, single." "Great." "Get his number." "I already gave him lee's number." "This woman is going to be drowning in dates." "Ow." "Do you stab all your patients?" "Up." "I haven't covered your elbow because injury's in the lower arm." "If the injury was in the upper arm, the elbow would have to be immobile." "Are my fingers supposed to be numb?" "No." "You should have told me." "I can't feel anything." "What's this?" "Oh, yeah." "Something's coming back." "And this." "Yeah." "Now I'm getting like a... tingling sensation." "Is that good or bad?" "That's very good." "Nurse, I'll tell you." "With my hands like this, it will be hard to... relax." "This won't hurt a bit." "You look great." "I feel great." "Go heal people." "Ok." "Hey." "Let's look for a place together." "I like music- jazz, classical." "I've got this incredible stereo." "I like painting." "I like to make love." "I've studied tantric sex." "Oh, excuse me." "Ah-choo!" "It's good to sneeze." "A sneeze has a force of 300 miles an hour." "People who repress sneezes are frigid." "Ah-choo!" "Also, bombs are going off inside their heads." "No kidding?" "Think about it." "Bombs." "Hey, jimmy, what's up?" "Morning, big guy." "How you doing?" "This chick is going to kill me." "She won't let me sleep." "Last night, I thought I was having a heart attack." "Coffee." "Make that 3." "Black with a lot of sugar." "She does this thing." "She gets on me and spins." "I don't know how she does it, but, oh, my god." "The really strange thing is, we talk all the time." "If we don't screw ourselves to death, the talking will kill us." "Hey, Gus!" "Gus!" "This broker's calling me day and night." "What do I tell him?" "Nobody sleeps around here?" "Translate that for me." "He's working this dating scheme." "This scheme don't make sense." "Say she meets some guy." "Over easy, dry toast." "Say she dates every night, every week." "After 10 or 15 dates, which isn't that pessimistic, she meets mr." "Right." "Say she'd like to dine with the gentleman before she marries him." "Men are already living on the moon." "Have some faith, Harv." "I do have faith- in Lou Cassells." "He's got money." "He'll go to bat." "But he ain't Gus." "Pope, the door is closing." "The door is closing!" "Hey, what is this?" "On every block!" "We'll have to wait." "Take it easy." "We'll just be a minute." "Who's winning?" "3-2 in the 5th." "Go Mets." "You guys must be into plants." "We ain't got all day." "You probably got trees to plant." "That's us." "That's right." "Chill out!" "Your wives must have gardens." "Right." "I ain't married." "Really?" "Are you Paul or Joe?" "Actually, we're both Paul, but Paul and Paul sound like- what is this?" "Why don't we just go on Geraldo?" "Absolutely, Paul, but I was talking to Paul." "I have one terrific opportunity." "Oh, yeah?" "How would you like to go out with a fabulous broad who is highly green-fingered like yourself?" "Hello." "Wh-what do you mean jump all over you?" "Who?" "Who?" "Why are you here?" "The guy is gone." "If I find him, he's in the hospital." "Don't get paisan with me." "Why'd you let him in?" "Because he was early." "You invite a guy into your apartment and then wonder why he jumps on you?" "You invited him in!" "He was a friend of yours!" "We learned something." "In the future- there will be no future." "Ok." "No future." "Fine." "Somebody explain to me how I get in a situation where my ex-husband is finding me dates." "So why'd you call?" "What?" "Because you gave this gorilla my telephone number." "If you had someone better to call, you wouldn't have called me." "I'm doing you a big favor." "Would you please just get out!" "You don't know anything about anything!" "Calm down, will you?" "No!" "You get out!" "Out!" "I'm going, okay?" "I'm going." "Oh." "Hey, uh, why don't you come with me?" "What?" "Come with me." "I'll take you to dinner." "No!" "Absolutely not." "If you stay here, you'll get more upset." "I'll take you out." "I'll take you to Florian's." "I'm not hungry." "Ok." "Look, you're right." "It's my mistake." "I screwed up." "I want to make it up to you." "I wasn't thinking." "That's right!" "You weren't thinking!" "That's what I just said!" "Ok!" "You got to book Florian's." "Not me, sister." "Big shot." "So, what are you- you're going out like that, or you're going to change?" "I am changed!" "Ok, let's go." "And don't, please, make any remark about the way I'm dressed" "I'm saying nothing." "Or my apartment or anything." "You want to live in shit, that's your business." "Oh, look." "It's the same car, before you make any remarks." "I'm not saying a word." "It had a paint job, which was a trade-off." "I installed this guy's alarm system." "Gus, you love this car more than life itself." "I never believed you sold it." "Hey." "You crying?" "Am I?" "I don't know why." "I know." "I kept thinking you'd come walking back through the door any minute." "I thought any minute you'd call." "I kept waiting." "Hey, uh, I don't really want to go out." "I mean, we quit dating, right?" "Right." "Yeah." "No." "Whatever you want to do." "It's a good top- easy to take down, easy to put up." "But a trade, right?" "Yeah." "He did you a favor." "You did him a favor." "Hey." "What language is this?" "Latin." "Latin?" "I thought Latin was extinct." "Um, well, plants still speak it." "And... and I'm learning to speak it." "See?" "Poculum." "Mm-hmm." "Anyway, not everything you learn has to have a plug on the end of it." "Really?" "Gus?" "Yeah?" "Don't fix things." "No." "Better I should let you blow yourself up." "Solve all my problems." "Oh, christ." "I got to make a phone call." "Hello." "I'm looking for Rita Calley, please." "Did you knock on her door?" "Yeah." "You knocked on her door?" "Yeah, I did." "Ok." "Look, just tell her that I called, okay?" "Ok." "Thanks." "You're a doll." "I'm not a doll." "I am a nurse." "What?" "I'm not a doll." "No, no." "It's an expression." "Jesus christ." "Mmm." "Oh." "I think I did something to your computer." "Gus, that's my term paper." "Don't touch my things." "Please, please, please let me have saved this." "This is a whole credit." "Saint Anthony." "What?" "Saint Anthony- he finds things." "Oh, great." "I was going to recommend a surge protector for this machine." "I don't need protection from surges." "I need protection from you." "Oh, thank you, god." "Thank you, Saint Anthony." "Whew." "Wow." "You're really on it, aren't you?" "Hmm?" "Studying?" "Yeah." "I guess." "Outside the university, your face was all lit up." "And your books." "You got so many books now." "You could start a bookstore." "You weren't cut out to be nobody's wife." "I don't want to think that." "No." "I mean, not my wife, anyway." "Not a guy who fixes things." "Not a working guy, you know?" "Listen, I'll get going." "Ok." "Oh, actually, there is one more thing... that I want to fix." "I'll fix it right now, and that's this light right here." "Who lives right over there?" "I don't know." "A couple." "All right." "Shh." "Ah." "The most important thing security wise is good lighting." "Right?" "There you go." "Huh." "Bad time?" "No." "I was just passing." "I'm Tom Gough." "Tom is my professor." "Yeah?" "God is my father." "So, uh, what's this?" "A little late-night cramming?" "I'm so dumb." "How does it go?" "What do you tell your wife" "I'm going for a jog, bang a couple students?" "You must be..." "Gus." "Don't." "Don't Gus me, okay?" "Why don't we jog back to Mrs. Professor and chat with her?" "Tom?" "I'm going to go, I think." "Don't go." "No." "Go." "No!" "You go!" "I'll drop by some other time." "I was just passing." "What do I know?" "I should go." "She's right." "I'll go." "I'm the one who's brain-dead." "Yo!" "Anybody down there?" "Who's that?" "Pope, is that you?" "Gus?" "Uh, yeah." "I'm just, uh... what are you doing here?" "What are you doing here?" "I'm with Marie." "I showed her the bowling alley." "One thing led to another." "Un-fucking believable!" "Please, Gus." "Please don't." "Swear to me this never happened." "Swear on your mother." "I hope you're careful." "Yes, we're being careful." "I'm not talking about precautions." "Don't zap your girlfriend's butt on 6,000 volts." "Oh, right." "Ah!" "That's beautiful!" "You just do that?" "Like that?" "That's so beautiful!" "No way you're dead on this." "A star's got 5 points." "You're one of them." "I got to go." "Listen, I'll see you Monday morning." "Isn't this a view?" "I love this apartment." "Want to know why?" "It's got light and space." "Linoleum and kitchens you can change, but you cannot change those 2 things." "We're looking at a lot of places." "You'd be stupid not to." "This is more, you know, than we wanted to spend." "I'll leave you young people to talk it over." "Lock the door behind you." "Rita, call me at the office." "I know I can make you happy." "Hey, you do." "This is... this is just the best day of my entire life." "Sorry about last night." "You know, I was, uh..." "running around, and I did an off-the-books job, and, uh... you know, it dawned on me- the time, and I telephoned you, but, uh... anyway, I'm-I'm sorry." "But that's my point." "That's been my point." "You're in your place." "I'm in my place." "You got to call me." "I got to call you." "I want to be there when you get home." "I know you do." "I want to love you." "Hey... don't go anywhere, okay?" "I'm lucky I found you, you know?" "Yeah, you are." "You know," "I love this apartment, and do you know why?" "Because it's got light, and it's got space." "It's got cracked linoleum and damp in the kitchen." "I'm going to leave you 2 lovely people to lay down on the floor." "No way am I getting down on that floor." "Ok." "I'm going to leave you 2 lovely people to lie down standing up." "Well, that's okay." "I was coming around last night." "I was brilliant." "You would have been astounded by my resourcefulness in getting out of the house." "I was home." "Well, I called you 3 times, and I got your machine." "The phone was ringing a lot, so I put the machine on." "You never call." "After the last visit," "I thought it might be politic." "Did you read my paper?" "Huh?" "No, I don't think so." "Um... no, I think I might have." "Let's see." "Oh... here we are." "And?" "It was good." "It was fine." "It was good." "Some good things." "Really." "Thanks." "I could get away tonight." "Can... we..." "see a play?" "Sure." "It's just that I love being with you." "I love hearing you talk about paintings or... writers... not just getting into bed with you." "Tom." "Oh, john." "Talking about not just going to bed... when you were with, um..." "Gus... he's so..." "he's not exactly... plagued by ideas, is he?" "What else did you do?" "Change fuses?" "Strip down the car?" "See how long he could hold his breath?" "Actually, he's not at all stupid." "Hey, I was just kidding." "Hey... ok, cut!" "Cap off first." "Don't cut what you can't see." "Ok." "Make good eye contact." "Get good light on those cables." "Ok." "Dante said I'd find you here." "Ok, cut!" "Good." "I had... 13 calls at work today." "That's a lot of calls." "Ok, cut." "It's good." "I'm not looking for a husband." "I had one." "It didn't work." "How you can get involved- you don't know him." "He's using you." "Probably." "Probably is." "Ok, cut it!" "I should go." "Hey, Gus?" "You got a problem?" "No." "I do." "I'm out of the deal." "I'm going for a walk." "Gus, you can't keep cutting out like this." "Go ahead and fire me." "I'll give you 100 bucks for a cigarette." "Does anybody like Lou Cassells?" "I don't." "Would somebody explain to me what's this obsession with like?" "Who likes Gus more than me?" "This is a business deal." "But we're not businessmen." "We're friends." "I got to go to the hospital." "Loretta's due out of surgery in an hour." "You're smoking." "I don't smoke, so I can smoke." "You smoke, so you can't." "How do I explain to Gus?" "The realtor told us we were losing the deal." "It don't feel right without Gus." "Dante, what do you think?" "If they were taking it out, they would have by now." "I am alone." "I am alone in this life." "Gus, what's all this?" "All what?" "In the cabinet- the fancy glasses..." "china?" "I guess they're wedding presents." "How come you kept them?" "Hey." "Hi." "Does that bother you, having dishes from my marriage?" "It's okay." "Yeah?" "You know, she wouldn't date Dominic." "Dominic who?" "My friend-Dominic beard, the pharmacist." "Mr. Triple "s. "" "He kept calling." "She never called back." "It was a dumb idea." "I couldn't get her to do a thing I wanted before." "Why should she change now?" "You know what?" "I do care." "I don't want to use her plate." "I don't want to drink from her glasses." "I want to move on." "Break the plate." "Wha- you wanted to move on." "Break the plate." "I can't." "If you won't, I will." "You first." "Oogie, can you read that?" "Yeah, table one, place one." "Mrs. Muriel manners." "Oh, yeah." "Whoo!" "Yes!" "What brings you here tonight?" "I'm the secretary of the nurses united against leukemia." "How do you like that?" "Completely at random." "Uh..." "Mrs. Manners, it says here you are to forfeit an item of your underwear." "Ok." "Do I have to say what it is?" "According to the card here, you have to show us." "Ok." "All right, let's give her a little drum roll, Oogie." "Ok." "Bill!" "Ok." "Hold on." "Let's, uh... let's-whoa!" "Here we go." "How about that?" "Let's start the bidding." "Who will give me 25?" "Who will give me 50?" "Who'll give me 75?" "75!" "Who'll give me 100?" "100 in the back." "Do I hear 130?" "Who will give me 140?" "140 in the corner." "140!" "140 going once." "140 going twice." "150!" "Sold to the jealous husband for 150." "All right." "This next forfeit will involve 2 people coming up here on the stage and singing." "The card says they're from table 20, place number 2 and place number 3." "Let's have a nice welcome for Dominic beard and his lovely companion." "Bring them up!" "Let's go!" "Whoa!" "Yeah!" "Hi." "One for you." "Break a leg." "Smile, Dominic!" "The moment I wake up before I put on my make-up" "I say a little prayer for you while combing my hair now and wondering what clothes to wear now" "I say a little prayer for you forever and ever, you'll stay in my heart and I will love you forever and ever we never will part and how I love you together, together that's how it must be" "to live without you would only mean heartbreak for me" "I run for the bus, dear while running, I think of us, dear us, dear" "I say a little prayer for you at work, I just take time and all through my coffee-break time break time" "I say a little prayer for you forever, forever you'll stay in my heart, and I will love you forever and ever we never will part oh, how I love you together, together that's how it must be" "to live without you would only mean heartbreak for me" "can we go now?" "Announcer:" "Oh, boy!" "How do you like that?" "All right, Dominic!" "Dominic!" "Unbelievable!" "That was great!" "Yeah, I thought she said no." "Uh... she did, and then I called again, and she said yes." "I think she regrets it now." "Do you know Rita?" "No." "Hi." "Hi, lee." "Jan, this is lee Demarco." "Lee, this is Jan and Martin." "Oh, right!" "Oh." "Hi." "Nice to meet you." "Hi." "How are you?" "Want to join us?" "We're celebrating." "Gus and Rita are moving in together." "Uh, uh..." "I don't know." "Um... do you... uh... maybe later." "Up there, you're kind of exposed." "Sure." "Well, have a good evening." "You, too." "Nice to have met you." "Congratulations... on the apartment." "Thanks." "Oh, my god." "How embarrassing." "I don't think so." "I think it's great." "I hope they fall madly in love and all their dreams come true." "I'm sorry about that." "It's okay." "It's okay." "You have a nice voice." "No." "Yeah, your... ex and Rita and... oh." "I..." "I should have thought." "I didn't think." "Don't worry." "You have a nice voice." "Yeah, well..." "I love to sing, just not in public." "Well, you were may queen." "What?" "You were may queen at Saint Anthony's." "Oh, god!" "I was 12 years old." "How do you know?" "Oh, Mary, we crown you with blossoms today?" "Queen of the angels?" "And queen of the may" "I remember you." "I don't know how she did that." "Come to bed, huh?" "You're quiet." "I'm tired." "I got to get up in, like, 5 minutes." "Hey..." "I look out of the window at night now." "All I see are lights." "What?" "Since I met you- lights." "Thousands of electric lights." "Good night." "I bet I know 2 people who aren't sleeping right now." "Huh!" "Jan?" "What, are you kidding me?" "She couldn't wait to dump that guy." "Not Jan. Dominic and lee." "I bet she's giving him something to dream about." "N- no way." "No, I'm telling you." "Heaven and back." "That's where they've been." "Look!" "You made your point, okay?" "Jesus christ!" "Look, is there more you'd like to add, or is the point made?" "Because the point- the point certainly is made with me, okay?" "So Rachel has gone upstate with George." "I'm writing a lecture." "We have croissants." "We have poetry to read." "We have Shakespeare on video." "We have..." "Glenn Gould... on tape." "Call me an optimist, but I think we have the makings of a perfect day." "Stop me, you know, if I stumble across the password." "Uh... words are not the problem." "Who said anything..." "about a problem?" "I don't know." "L" "I thought words were... an issue." "I thought you were complaining about us not talking, or..." "so, here I am." "Culture, culture, culture." "Don't always have an answer." "What?" "Hey..." "I'm sick of this yard." "I'll tell you what it is." "No, don't, actually." "Don't tell me what it is." "Shall I leave the croissants?" "Tom... my work." "What am I trying to say?" "I don't" "Leonora, your work is good." "Thanks." "I love this new place." "Whoa!" "Nice view." "Electric's good?" "Yeah." "It's got a square-d 2400, installed 1986." "Really nice." "I checked it out." "Naturally." "Checked it out." "This guy's an electrical guru." "I am a guru." "Where's your stuff?" "What is this?" "Where is everything?" "Rita." "Gus, hi." "Did you call them?" "Why didn't you call me?" "They guaranteed me 10." "What's going on?" "Gus and Rita got to talk." "Hey... out!" "Hey, Dan, should I... how do I know?" "See you later, Gus." "Yeah." "See you tomorrow." "What's going on?" "I sent the truck back." "I was so embarrassed." "But they were real nice, the guys." "Apparently, it's not so unusual." "You can kid yourself." "I'm good at that." "See?" "He loves me." "He's moving in with me." "See?" "He's moving in with me, so he can't still love her." "See?" "He's trying to marry her off, so he can't still love her." "Rita- but you're stuck someplace, and I've been stuck there with you, and we can put furniture all around it." "We're still stuck." "And as a matter of fact," "I can do better." "I deserve better." "I don't want to lose this good thing that I got if I do" "I will surely surely lose a lot 'cause your love is better than any love I know it's like thunder... can I ask you something?" "Yeah." "Tell me to shut up if- first thing I thought was not to ask, because you and Rita just broke up." "I see Marie, okay?" "I'll see her maybe 50, 60 yards away, and I'll get this tight pain." "You know?" "Or she's brushing her hair- something just like that- brushing her hair, and my stomach will go, you know," "I don't know... funny, you know, when we do stuff" "I mean, we do some weird stuff, and we'll just look at each other." "You ever hear of candy pants?" "Candy pants- panties you can eat." "Yeah, but anyway, the point is... what?" "Am I in love or... yeah." "You're in love." "I thought that's what it had to be." "Get off here." "Get off over here." "We got to go- hey, hang on." "Do you like to travel?" "Sure." "I've been doing exams and stuff, so I guess I haven't traveled much." "Yeah." "I want to- I want to... travel all over." "Yeah?" "I mean, it's crazy." "I'm Italian." "I've never been to Italy." "I've never seen Rome." "I've never seen Venice." "I've been to Venice Beach." "Um..." "I've been to..." "Tony Roma's?" "Tony Roma's." "That's right." "Uh... stupid things, you know." "I'm-I'm counting pills, and I lose my place, and it's, "50, lee." "60, lee. "" "L" " I'm afraid I'm going to poison somebody." "Today, I wrote a prescription and put your name on it." "What were you prescribing me?" "I don't know if this is horribly obvious, but I am crazy about you and obsessed and completely... you know, gaga." "This way, guys." "I don't know exactly what happened, but we lost our service." "We got a 208 installation, and it just blew." "An electrician came to take a look." "Next minute, there's this flash, and he's bounced off the wall." "We'll take it from here." "You'll be all right." "Call if you need me." "Ok." "Thanks." "So, uh... what was all that back there, the botanical gardens?" "Something you said made me realize something." "Something I said made you realize something?" "Yeah." "It's amazing." "I got two fuses dead, one live." "So pull the dead fuses." "Then that something... turned into something else." "Pope!" "I got it." "Excuse me." "What do we got here?" "Gus." "Jan, is he going to be okay?" "Lie still." "It's going to be okay." "Just relax." "Clear the corridor." "Hey." "Today-today we got scalds and burns." "Yeah." "I need to cut away these pants, mr." "Demarco." "I'll be back." "Rita." "What?" "You been okay?" "Yeah." "Pretty good." "I'm sorry." "Dr. Rostoff, call the page operator." "I fell asleep." "I must have dozed off." "I just heard." "I wanted to stop by." "I shouldn't probably, but is he, um..." "I heard he got burned." "He's going to be fine." "You want to sit with him?" "Oh, no." "I have class." "Just tell him I came by." "Ok." "How's the apartment?" "We didn't do it." "What do you mean?" "We broke up." "I'm sorry." "It's okay." "How's Dominic?" "He's good." "He's-he's a good man." "He cares about me." "I'm really sorry." "So..." "I guess it's true what they say." "Tears-there's only so many of them to go around." "Somebody starts to cry, someone else stops." "Same with happiness." "No." "I hope not." "Hey, you must be Marie, huh?" "He loves you." "He was telling me." "He loves me?" "Good." "Hey, come on in." "Hi." "How you feelin'?" "Good." "A little sore, but better, you know?" "I never thought I'd be back in this place." "That's life." "It shuffles the deck, and there you are with the joker again." "This place is in kind of a mess, which is in your honor." "Just joking." "I'm sorry about you and Rita." "Yeah." "It came as a shock." "What was so important the phone wouldn't do?" "You want something?" "Something to drink?" "No." "Dominic asked me to marry him." "Great." "He wants me to have his children." "What?" "I said he wants me to have his children." "Yeah?" "Yeah." "Amazing, huh?" "Weird." "Said I..." "I needed time to think about it." "Right." "You met the guy 4 weeks ago, and you're already having his kids." "Took me 6 months to cop a feel off you." "You'll get what you wanted, you know?" "The bowling alley and no more checks, no more alimony." "That's right." "That's great." "Listen, congratulations, but I got things to do, so, uh... great." "Terrific." "Have a nice life." "Salud." "Ok." "This was mine." "Hey." "This is my last offer." "Don't get no sweeter than this." "What?" "This is it." "Sweet deal." "Bring them in." "Oh, come on." "You got to be kidding." "Gus." "Gus!" "Hey!" "Hey!" "Look at his hands." "Oh, my god." "Oh!" "It's a miracle." "Back from the dead." "He wasn't dead." "Oh, yeah?" "What was he?" "He wasn't here or there." "He was somewhere." "Hey!" "Welcome back, you bastard." "You had us scared good." "It's a miracle." "You got him back, huh?" "You all met Marie, right?" "Sure." "Hi." "Hi, Marie." "Oh, by the way, I'm in." "In what?" "The bowling alley." "My wife- she's getting married." "She found mr." "Wonderful." "You're kidding me." "Oh, here's the deposit." "I hear sirens." "Where did you get the money?" "I took the bus." "You sold the corvette?" "Hey, it's only a car." "I quit smoking." "I quit smoking." "So, uh, who is she marrying?" "Oh, you know, uh... the pharmacist." "Dominic." "Who?" "You know, Dominic, the pharmacist." "Is that what you want?" "Of course it's what he wants." "He don't have to pay the check." "Gus knows what I'm saying." "If he doesn't, I do." "Right, and he's been in a coma." "Hey." "What's going on?" "Don't ask me any questions." "I'll forget all the names of these plants." "This one here is, uh..." "it's, uh... caryota, which is the... which is otherwise known as the fishtail plant." "This one over here is monstera deliciosa, which is your, uh... ha ha!" "Your basic Swiss cheese sandwich plant." "This one is the, uh... it's a..." "Gus." "Elephant palm, which is, uh... what are you doing?" "Colocasia." "I'm trying to learn something." "I'm trying to learn some Latin." "The lights." "They're beautiful." "Yeah, they're pretty lights." "Lee..." "I love you, and I tried to think of some way to show you." "All I could think of was lights." "I put up some lights." "Dominic... is just parking the car." "And I'm telling you that I love you." "Gus, what am I su" "I know you don't love him." "Oh, really?" "Look me in the eyes and tell me you love him." "You always do this, you know?" "You always, always do this to me." "Ok." "Marry the guy." "Gus..." "Dominic:" "So can you?" "What?" "I'm sorry." "I'm in a daze." "Can you look me in the eyes and tell- tell me that you love me?" "I couldn't help overhearing." "Mr. Wonderful?" "I wake up each morning and I try not to care going through the motions of a love affair times are just lonely when the feeling' s not there and you'd think that by now" "I'd have moved on somehow but I'm getting nowhere" "and still it's you it's always you no matter what I say or do" "I'm still in love" "I guess I always was" "I tried to live a lie, but still it's you yeah, you moonlight on the window so I pull down the shade tryin' to block the memories of the love we made lying here without you and the music won't play" "and I'm trying to sleep but it all runs so deep and the dream just won't fade and still it's you it's always you no matter what I say or do" "I'm still in love" "I guess I always was" "I tried to say good-bye, but still it's you ooh, boy why did you have to have that face?" "One that could never be replaced why couldn't you have been like all the rest?" "I should have got out when I could but you loved me, oh, so good why did you have to be the best?" "Captioning made possible by Warner Bros." "Captioning performed by the national captioning institute, inc." "No matter what no matter what I say or what I do still in love" "I guess I always was" "I tried to live a lie but always, you knew yeah" "I tried to live a lie but still it's you"