"I worry I will disappoint you." "You will not disappoint me." "I might have taught her more before she left." "She was so innocent." " Lady Sarah, we trust we find you well." " Yes, Your Majesty." "Should one marry without love?" "I think it is better to be in love." "We see little of each other." " ls this a complaint, my lady?" " Course not." "I'm perfectly happy and extremely lucky." "Thank you, Cecelia." " Whom shall we have?" " Monsieur Rousseau." "After George died, I resolved I would no longer lose any of my children to England." "I am going to ask Monsieur Rousseau to teach the children." "I'm not convinced he's a good idea." "It's too late to change." "The letter is sent." "You wager like a Frenchwoman." "We are in France." "So, tonight, I choose to be like the French." "You will permit me to visit you" " when I come to England?" " You may visit my brother." "I would not expect of him what I hope for from you." "Who are you?" "William Ogilvie." "Who might you be?" "I'm Edward." "Thank you for coming." "I was just becoming acquainted with Lord Edward, Your Grace. ls that not so?" "The acquaintance has proved profitable, thus far." "You must run along now, Edward." " Sit down, Mr Ogilvie." " Sorry I'm not Monsieur Rousseau, Your Grace." "You are a good classical scholar, Mr Ogilvie." "A mathematician and a French speaker." "That is so, Your Grace." "Which of these subjects is most important, in your opinion?" "None of them, Your Grace." "Perhaps you will explain." "In my opinion, Your Grace, we should not encourage young people to emulate the parrot." "The subject can be absorbed and repeated without understanding." "Therefore, subjects are of no importance." "Our children must learn... ..if they are to mix in a world where learning is prized." "Certainly, Your Grace." "You are teaching in Dublin." "Do your students do well?" "Their abilities are varied and the number large, but I am satisfied with their progress." "Are their parents satisfied?" "I can give you testimonials to that effect." "If subjects are not important, Mr Ogilvie, what is?" "The young person is important, Your Grace." "The business of books has its place, but there are other things to consider." "Such as?" "A healthy life." "There should be exercise and sport, and a knowledge of the earth." "And you consider this... ..part of their schooling?" "Every child should dig and plant." "It is a considerable pleasure, Your Grace, to admire the fruits of one's own labour." "I would have no child grow up without it." "I see." "It is proposed that you should undertake the education of my children." "You will live at my house by the sea." "How many children, Your Grace?" "Nine." "William is completing his education in France." "And George is to join the army..." "My son..." "My son George... ..he's dead." "I know, Your Grace." "Excuse me." "Allow him the tribute of your grief." "If your house is by the sea... ..perhaps I might teach your children to swim." "How should he be treated?" "Should I consider him a servant?" "He's not like an ordinary tutor." "But he's not a gentleman." "He's not nobly born, but he is...educated." "So, what one has not been given by birth, one may acquire through effort." "Even gentility." "This may be true, Louisa, but it does not tell me what I should do." "About what?" "About candles." "Tallow or wax?" "You worry about candles?" "I want everything to be right." "This must go well." "I had the leisure to trouble myself with domestic niceties." "In London, Caroline would have welcomed a life of such trifling concerns." "How can we stop people talking about Sarah?" "Paris was a mistake." "She must return home." "You think that will stop people talking?" "Louisa is arriving soon from Ireland, with Mr Conolly." "I mean, Sarah always listens to her." "We must ensure she returns." "Yes, my love." "Caroline chose not to inform me, as yet, of her anxieties regarding our sister." "In the forlorn hope that scandal and gossip would no longer pursue her," "Sarah was encouraged to return to London in the company of my brother and his wife - the Duke and Duchess of Richmond." " So there's five of you?" " Yes." "And, are they all like you?" "No." "Caroline is clever." "Emily is a mother to me." "Louisa is an angel." "And Cecelia is a child." "And what are you, Lady Sarah?" "I think I am a disappointment." "Whisper." "How does a Frenchman make love?" "I do nothing but kiss." "No-one objects to that." "He follows you from France, for kisses?" "A fashion for flirtation." "I hear that nobody knows if she's serious or scandalous." "If she wants a lover, or is pleased to be a wife." "There is no lover, I am certain." "I should not condemn her, whatever she did." "She will not need your approval, Selwyn." "She is young and follows fashion." "By gambling, as if she were born to it?" "She has no idea of doing wrong." "The fair sex never have." "They wait for us to corrupt them." "Our sister was teetering on the edge of a precipice." "Half throwing herself over, half willing herself back." " You give me nothing." " You do not understand." "You promise one thing and do another." "I have a husband." "Whom you love?" "This is England." "I was allowed to choose my husband, therefore the crime of deceiving him would not be forgiven." "You tell him about our meetings?" "No." "I did not think so." "You take the guilt... ..and refuse the pleasure." "Come." "Louisa, my dear, I am so glad you've come." "Hello, Thomas." "Sarah!" "I must speak with you." "What is it?" "Have you ever done something... ..for which you were truly sorry?" "Why should someone do anything if one knows it will make them sorry?" "It simply happens." "One cannot help oneself." "Cannot help oneself?" "Of course one can." "When I was in Paris... ..I often forgot that I was married." "I forgot it for days on end." "But Mr Bunbury was with you." "Does not that make it worse?" "You were so busy with amusements." "I did not behave as I should." "You expect too much of yourself." "You are entitled to a little diversion." "A little diversion?" "If that were all..." "This is enough." "You are worn out." "You imagine you do every wrong thing." "Your family know you better." "Please." "I must tell you. I..." " l am so unhappy." " Oh, no, no, no, no." "Now, that I will not allow." "You have everything you could want." "You owe it to yourself to be happy." "Will you be dissatisfied, when we all love you?" "I do not know why you do." "Because..." "Because you are the dearest heart in all the world." "If you are sad, it afflicts us all." "It must feel comfortable to be always good." "Do you have a moment?" " May I speak with you?" " lf you wish." " What are you doing?" " My accounts." "May I help?" "You can, by spending less." "I have been extravagant, I know." "But... I do not need a large income to be happy." "I could do as well on a little, if... if I...if I lived a different sort of life." "Indeed." "I would be much obliged if..." "Will you tell me... ..are you content with our life?" "is it what you expected?" "What do you mean, my lady?" "is there anything you would change?" "Do you complain of me to your family?" "No." "Of course not." "I would not like your brother to think me unkind to you." "When we married... ..did you consider yourself to be...?" "Were you in love?" "As much as you were, I imagine." "My sister's activities were by now so well known that news of them reached me in Ireland." "I wrote to her, counselling caution." "She hears stories from London." "She asks me to take care." "Lord William!" "Sarah, I must introduce you." "Lord William is dying to make your acquaintance." "Your Grace." "Lord William Gordon, Lady Sarah Bunbury." "I've heard so much about you, Lady Sarah." "You must not believe what people say." "Oh, I believe every word." "That is why I desire to meet you." " Let me see your eyes." " l prefer to hide." "But I...prefer to see." " lt's not worth your trouble." " l will be the judge of that." " Do you know what you want?" " All too well." " l want you." " You are mad." " Not yet, but it's likely that I will be." " Nonsense." "Have you not heard?" "Some of my family are locked up." "Really?" "Truly." "An uncle in a madhouse, a brother at home." "You must take me now, while I have my wits." " Do you think I have quite lost my senses?" " Not yet, but you will." "Oh, who are you writing to?" "Emily." "She's heard stories about Sarah." " l tell her not to pay any attention." " Humph!" "Charles James." "Why are you wearing your coat inside out?" "It's the newest fashion." "The fashion for gamblers." "You turn your coat to turn your luck." "A wager or two, that's all." "One or two?" "You never accept any limits." "You don't understand." "A gentleman never backs down." "And I have a reputation to uphold." "You promised to stop, yet still you go on." "You did not bring me up to hide at home like a mouse." "It seems I brought you up to break my heart." " Good evening, Father." " Charles James." "What do we do now?" "Prepare to pay." "Our fashionable world had no objection to affairs, as long as they remained discreet." "But Sarah it seemed was, by now, beyond discretion." " Can you direct me to Perdition?" " Straight on, my lord." "The way you were going." "I warn you, I'll take you with me." "That's my husband's." "Where are his shoes?" " What?" " l suit his dressing gown." "I'll fill his shoes." " l'll have his wife." " You are bad." "Of course." "I'll come to a bad end." "How long can you stay this time?" "As long as he's away." "It won't be long enough." "It never is." "We could meet again, in secret." "Skulking around like badgers in the night." "It's that or nothing." "What can we do?" "I could shoot your husband." "Or I could shoot myself." "Don't." "Or maybe, I should shoot us both." "Then you'd be free." "I don't want to be free." "We'll find a way." "You must think." "Sarah!" "Oh, my dear, such wonderful news." "I was pleased at first, at the thought of the child." "Well, of course you were." "We're all so happy for you." "I have something to tell you." "I should have spoken before." "Well..." "You're making me nervous." "What is the matter?" "I cannot meet you, speak to you..." "..and not tell you the truth." "is it your health?" "I am as healthy as a pig." "Well, then, you worry too much." " You've been under so much strain recen..." " William Gordon... ..is the father of my child." "Lord William Gordon?" "You have...met him in secret?" " Alone?" " l've wanted to tell you so often." "I can't bear it." "How could you?" " lt's contrary to all you have been taught." " l know." "I should not have." " You do not need to tell me." " To think I have defended you, when all this time you were..." "Do you not know what harm you do?" "I know." "I'm sorry." "Does your husband know?" "I think he must." "He's said nothing, but he never does." "Sarah, listen." "You must not tell him." "You must not tell anyone." "Not him and not the family." "This is between you and me." " You think I should stay with him?" " Yes, I certainly do!" " And Lord William?" " You must forget him!" "I deserve to be miserable." "I know it." "Well, you will recover from this madness." "I want to do what is right, but I can't." "Sarah, you must go home... ..and be happy with your husband and your baby." "This never happened." "We will not speak of it again." "I am so sorry." "I cannot bear it." "I see nothing ahead but disaster." "You will be beggared." "And we will be disgraced." "Don't cry." "Please don't cry." "And the child?" "Do you think of your child?" "I was delighted to hear that Sarah was with child." "Caroline chose not to disclose the identity of the real father." "Wonderful." "How is she?" "She is well and pleased and...hopes for a girl." "May I go help her mind it?" "It would make her mighty pleased." "But are you well enough again?" "You must not be anxious." "My health is good." "I expect I worry too much." "I'm very good with babies." "By agreeing to let Cecelia go to England to help Sarah with her child, I allowed our youngest sister to become embroiled in the unhappiness that Sarah cast about her wherever she went." "Cecelia was caught up in circumstances that she did not understand and could not control." "You know that she is not yours?" "Of course I know." "Living as we do, the child is clearly not mine." "You knew that I had been in love." "Lord William Gordon has haunted our house." "is he what you mean by love?" " l do not understand why you still want me." " l married you." "And that is that." " When I think of Lord William..." " Please don't." "Did I refuse you any kindness?" "Did I betray you in any way?" "You cannot reproach me more than I reproach myself." "I did not come here for reproaches." "I have given this much thought." " Are you cold enough to think?" " l have had enough time for it." "It's fortunate the child is a girl." "As she cannot inherit the estate, no injustice will be done to my family." "You'll acknowledge her as your own?" "Such things have happened before." "We can put this affair in the past." "One more thing." " That is?" " You will give up Lord William." "Even my forbearance has limits." "What is it?" "I'm not hungry." " Where are you going?" " l thought I heard the baby cry." "Sarah seemed determined on her own destruction." "She was heedless of the effect her behaviour would have on anyone else." "Not least on Cecelia, whose reputation would be tainted by her association with her adulterous sister." "The scandal was out and the truth was there for the gossips to make the most of." "Your Grace." "You must pack my heavy cloak, the sky blue silk and the green day gown." "lmmediately." "No, wait!" "Your Grace, we must go to London." "My brown boots and his lordship's greatcoat." " For what reason, my dear?" " Sarah is ruined." "She's in love with a madman." "We're a story to scandalise grocers." "Not only grocers." "We scandalise peers." "We fill them with envy." "They say you are Antony and I am Cleopatra." "A great epic romance." "Cecelia should return to Ireland." "You should have sent her to us long before." "No blame is attached to her name." "No blame?" "She was in the house from which Sarah eloped." " She did not know." " l know she did not know." "Who else but us will believe it?" " l have done everything to protect her." " We know." " We don't doubt that..." " l have guarded her good health." "I have looked after her name." "Do you think to suggest I don't?" " You cannot protect her now." " Not if she stays here." "She should come with us." "She is not strong enough to travel." "I feel perfectly well, I promise." "She stays with me. I have that right." "To take her to Ireland is unwise." "Unwise?" "To send her home?" "To where her father entrusted her childhood?" "He chose wisely when he sent your sisters to us." "What do you mean by that?" "We were never careless of his trust in our affection." "My lord, take care what you say." "Your affection?" "The results can be seen in Louisa's marriage." "And how dare you mention my father's will!" "It was unjust and wrong." "He didn't mean to... I have done everything for Sarah." "I begged her to leave Lord Gordon and go back to her husband." "I pleaded with her." "Nobody could do more than I did." "You knew she had a lover?" "Why did you not tell me?" "You were not here." "If we had been told, we would have come." "We should have been told!" "Oh, God, I haven't slept for days because of this!" "You will not judge my decision!" "I say what I see." "You have no monopoly of concern." "We shall see what my brother has to say." " Caroline, don't." " l will not be judged." "I beg you, please." "Your Grace, will you see me abused?" "The Duke of Leinster believes I do not love my sisters." "I believe nothing could be further from the truth." "There was no intention of giving offence." "Such a pity you spoke when you shouldn't." "It is not for you to judge." "Since my motives are questioned, I will take my leave." "Emily, bring him back." "Why did you speak to His Grace?" "I am entitled to." "You forced him to choose between us." "It is clear in what light your husband regards me." "You forced our brother to takes sides." "You take sides against me." "You do not love me." "I do." "I am shocked at your lack of affection." "You ask too much." "You must make your choice:" "the Duke of Leinster or me." "There is no choice." "Jemmy?" "It's a bad business." "I wouldn't have believed it." "They were so close." "The whole family is divided." "Cup of tea?" "Set you to rights." "What can be done?" "Damned if I know." "Perhaps time will heal." "I'm sure it will." "Your sister has not written." "She will not write to me... ..or speak to me again." "Caroline raged against us after Sarah's elopement." "The old wound of our father's will had reopened and, once again, I had taken my husband's side." "The silence between us felt as permanent as death." "How do you wish to spend the evening?" "I think, in fact, I'll retire to bed." "Henry, are you ill?" "I grow old, my love." "I apologise." "Out!" "Out!" "Get out, I said!" "With infinite surprise, we met the charming Lady S." "Enjoyed her...simple hospitality." "Observed, with pleasure, her and Lord William's reciprocal passion, still...still...still..." " Still visibly glowing in its primitive ardour." " Primitive." "Good." "Good." "Shall I write to Louisa?" "To tell her what?" "Of your great happiness?" "I am happy." "Indeed?" "I do not know why you will not believe me." "If you declare yourself to be happy, then it must be so." "In that case, I am happy..." "..for l love you exceedingly." "I wish you would not repeat it." "That I love you?" "Every time I hear it, I believe it a little less." "Well, how else can I convince you?" "You could cease to lament your sisters." "I merely remember them." "At every hour of the day." "If you wish, I will not speak of them again." "Caroline is still angry." "She writes to me, but she will not write to Emily." "She is even at odds with our brother." " l can't abide all this argument." " l pray about it every day." "If I might get Sarah to see the error of her ways..." "Can't rely on Sarah." "Changes her mind as fast as you'd wink." "You think she's beyond redemption?" "I didn't say so." "I'm sorry, Tom." "It's just that it makes me so miserable." "The worst thing about it:" "I can't stand it when you're miserable." "I consulted with Mr Conolly, who felt assured it was proper for me to speak to you." " Always so dutiful." " lt is a quality which wears well." "Mr Conolly is a lucky man." "She would return to us if she could. I feel sure..." " She chose her path, now she must stick to it." "LOUlSA:" "She's written." "She wrote to you?" "Many times." "She's very unhappy." "I suppose we cannot wish her otherwise." " Has Lord William left her?" " There is no question of that." "It is her conscience which torments her." "I see how it is." "The pleasure fades." " She seeks our support and forgiveness." " No-one will be able to know her again." "Brother, there must be a way." "If I could assure you of her heartfelt remorse and repentance..." " Remorse?" "Sarah?" " Your Grace, you will allow my sister to speak." "I do not despair of Sarah. I cannot." "But how can she leave him if she has nowhere to go?" "Every family in crisis has its saving angel, and Louisa was ours, keeping the trust of us all." "How is Emily?" "She is well." "Tell her I miss her." "I shall do so." " Lord William is not here." " He likes to walk." "Sometimes for hours." "I spoke to our brother." "He is concerned to do what's right." "If he never wanted to see me again, I would not be surprised." "He has certain conditions." "What does he say?" "You may return to his protection." "He will care for you and baby Louisa." "You will live quietly, not moving in society." "Not meeting anyone, save family and servants." "I have no desire to move in society." "I would hate it of all things." "You may dine with the family, when they dine alone." "Yes." "You must leave Lord William and forsake all contact." "He is my child's father." "Our brother does not want you to see him again." "Never?" "He asked me to make his wishes clear." "He has not forgiven me." "He will, once he knows you've changed." "I have changed." "Once I believed in happiness." "Now I know I will never be happy again." "You may not be happy but, in time, you'll be content." "Will I?" "How convenient!" "At least you'll no longer cause pain to us all." "You have always known what I should do." "Everyone thought I should marry the King." "And when it didn't take, you just wanted me married." " l didn't." " l could never be perfect, like you." "No-one is naturally good." " We have to try." " You believe I have never tried?" "You think it's easy for me?" "I tried to tell you." "I asked for your help." "Neither you nor Caroline wanted to hear." "I didn't mean to hurt you." "Nobody in the family has ever meant to hurt you." "Come back to us, Sarah." "Come back to the family." "I'm sorry." "Sssh!" "I...bring you all this trouble." "No." "I cause you grief." "I should have stopped Sarah." "Ssssh!" "You couldn't." "is there anything that you want?" "is there anything I can get you?" "Can I..." "Can I see..." "Emily?" "Cecelia?" "Cecelia?" "Oh, no." "Contrite, but blameless to the last, Cecelia died." "Her death should have brought us together again, but it did not." "Not for years." "You may still change your mind." "You do not truly wish it." "It is your choice." "Sssh!" "I will miss her." " l'm sorry." " Sorry?" "Sorry you ever met me?" "Goodbye, Sarah."