"That's where you are wrong, Ivan." "With respect to what was written in the New Testament, it has never really happened." "We have ordered from you a large anti-religious poem." "You have written the poem, Ivan, and have done it very fast." "But regretfully, we were not satisfied at all." "You have created Jesus as if he were real and alive." "Although unattractive character." "My goal is to prove to you that this Jesus character has never existed in the first place" " Give me a sparkling water." " Haven't got it." " What about a beer?" " We'll get some in the evening." " What do you have?" " Apricot water, but it's warm." " All right, all right, give me the water" "What the devil?" "You know, Ivan, I nearly had a heat stroke just now." "I even hallucinated, I think." "It's time to run the hell off to the resort, Kislovodsk." "Anyway..." "Where were we...?" "I'd like to point you to the ancient authors." "For instance, the renown Philo of Alexandria, or the brilliant Josephus Plavius have never dropped a single word about the existence of Jesus." "Or let's look at the 15th Book, the 44th chapter of The Annals by Tacitus ...where he speaks about the execution of Jesus." "It is nothing but a forgery that was added to the book much later." "Not a single eastern cult is without a maiden that has given birth to a god" "So have the Christians, not creating anything new, created their own Jesus that has never lived in the real world." "Let's sit down." "This is what your main emphasis should be." "I would like to mention ancient Egyptian god Osiris ...the benevolent god, son of the Sky and the Earth, as well as the Phoenician god Tammuz" "as well as Marduk and even the less known awesome god Huitzilpochtli, who was revered by the Aztecs in Mexico." "A German." " An Englishman." " Isn't he hot with the gloves on?" "Ivan, you have written well and with satire about the birth of Jesus, ...the son of God." "The trick is that long before Jesus there were many sons of gods, such as Frakian Attis." "To be short, none of them were really born, including Jesus," "and you shouldn't be describing the birth itself, or the visitation by magles" "Instead, you should be talking about the ridiculous rumors concerning that birth." "Otherwise, it sounds in your story as if he really did exist!" "You should agree, it does sound quite funny." "Don't be hurt, it does really sound like that." "L beg your pardon, but not being acquainted..." "I do find the subject of your scientific conversation to be of such interest, that I took the courage..." " May I have a sit?" " Certainly." "If I haven't misheard, you were mentioning that Jesus hasn't really existed?" " Precisely that." "And you were agreeing with that statement?" " One hundred percent." " Hmm." "Wonderful." "Forgive my insistence, but to my understanding, ...you don't believe in God?" "I swear not to tell anyone." "Yes, we do not believe in God." "And it could be said with complete openness." "Let me thank you from the bottom of my heart." " What are you thanking him for?" "For a very important information that interests me strongly as a traveler." " But let me ask you what is to be done with the proofs of God's existence," "...which are precisely five in number?" " All of these proofs are worthless." "You must agree that in the field of reason the existence of God can have no proofs." "God doesn't and cannot exist." " Bravo, bravo!" "You have just repeated the thought of the restless old Immanuel concerning the issue." "But here is the funny thing he has totally dismantled all five proofs." "And then, as if mocking himself, he has built his own proof, the sixth proof." " Kant's proof is as inconclusive..." "They should grab this Kant guy, for saying things like that, and send him off to the labor camps for a couple of years!" " Ivan!" "." " That's right!" "That's where he belongs." "I told him then, at breakfast:" ""Professor, it is your business, but your though is an awkward one perhaps, intelligent, but not so easy to understand." "...they will be laughing at you..." " At breakfast?" "With Kant?" "!" "The problem is, he can't be sent to the camps." "For the simple fact that for over one hundred years now he is in places significantly further that the furthest camps." "From those places, he would be impossible to remove." ",A pity!" " Yes, a Pity" " Here's the question that bothers me:" "...if God does not exist, who rules the human life?" " Man rules himself!" " Excuse me." "In order to rule, one must have a precise plan for a time period of some length, at least a thousand years or so." "Let me ask you, how can man rule ...if he doesn't control his own tomorrow?" "Imagine that you, for instance, ...started ruling, giving orders to yourself and others, and started feeling the taste of doing so ...and the all of a sudden, khe-khe, you develop a sarcoma of the lung..." "Yes, a sarcoma." "There is the end of your rule!" "No other fate but yours is on your mind." "Relatives start lying to you, ...and you start seeing famous doctors ...then charlatans or even fortune tellers." "The first, the second, ...and the third are helpless, as you understand yourself." "And so the tragic end: he ...who thought himself ruling over something, ...finds himself lying in a wooden box," "...and the people see that the person lying in a box ...is no longer of any use, burn him in a furnace." "And yet it could be even worse:" "...just as one is planning to go to Kislovodsk not much of a trip, ...but even that he can't accomplish, because for no apparent reason his foot slips and he is run over by a tram!" "Would you say that this individual has been in control of being run over?" "Would it not be closer to the truth that someone else has done it to him?" " Well..." " You want to smoke, as I can see." "What kind of cigarettes do you prefer?" " Why, do you have several types?" " What kind?" " How about "Nasha Marka"." " "Nasha Marka"." " What the hell." " Yeah..." "Yes, the man is mortal, that is hard to dispute." "But the thing is..." "Yes, the man is mortal, that is only half of the misfortune." "What is worse is that he one can go unexpectedly, that is the trick!" "Man cannot as much as know what he'll be doing tonight." "That is an exaggeration." "This evening my life is more or less planned if no reason a brick won't fall on my head on Bronnaya Street..." "Bricks never fall on one's head with no reason." "In your case that is certainly not going to happen, I assure you." "Your death will be very different." " Perhaps you could describe how?" " Gladly." "One, two..." "The planet Mercury is in the second house, the Moon is gone evening six... seven... a calamity..." "You will be decapitated!" " Who?" "Enemies?" "Foreign invaders?" " No." "A Russian woman, a young Communist." " Well, that is... not very probable." " Forgive me, but that is how it will be." "Oh, yes, I was going to ask you about your plans for this evening, ...if that is not a secret?" " It isn't a secret." "Now I will go home to Sadovaya Street, ...and later, at ten, MASSOLIT, the Writers Union of Moscow" "...of which I have the honor of being a chairman will hold a meeting at 10PM and I will be presiding." " No that cannot happen." " Why not?" "Because Annushka has already bought the sunflower oil, ...not only has she bought it, but she has already spilled it." "And so the meeting isn't going to happen." "What is the connection with the sunflower oil?" "Who is this Annushka?" "L will tell you about the relevance of sunflower oil!" "Have you, mister, ever been at the mental hospital?" "Oh, I have been there, many times." "I have been to all kinds of places." "Too bad I haven't asked the professor what is schizophrenia." "So please do ask him about it yourself, Ivan Nikolayevich." " How do you know my name?" "Please, Ivan Nikolayevich!" "Who doesn't know the poet Bezdomny!" " Excuse me." "Stay here for a minute, ...I have to have a word with the comrade." "With pleasure." "It is so nice under the lindens, besides, I am not in a rush." " Listen Misha, ...he is no tourist, he is a spy." "Must be a Russian?" "migr?" "that has moved back here." "Ask him for his papers, or he will run off." " You think so?" " Believe me, ...he is playing dumb to find something out." "Have you heard him speak Russian?" "Let's apprehend him, or he'll split." "Forgive me, but in the heat of our dispute I forgot to introduce myself to you." "Here is my card," "...my passport and the invitation to visit Moscow for a consultation." "So, you have been invited as a consultant, Professor?" " Yes, a consultant." " Are you German?" " I?" "Well, I guess, I am German." " What is your profession?" " L am an expert in Black Magic." " Really!" "And this is the capacity in which you've been invited?" "Yes, I have." "They have discovered at the State Library genuine manuscripts by Herbert of Avril, an occult writer from the tenth century, ...and so it is needed that I decipher those." "I am the only expert in the world." " Are a historian?" " I am a historian." "Today on Patriarch's Ponds some story is in the making." "Keep in mind that Christ did exist." "You see, Professor, we have a different point of view on that topic." " Points of view are not needed." "He did exist and that all there is to it." " But one needs some sort of proofs..." " Proofs are not needed either." "All was very simple: he wearing a white cloak with an edging the color of blood, ...walking with a shuffling walk of a cavalry man." "In the early hours of the fourteenth day of the Spring month of Nisanu into the covered colonnade between the wings of the Great Herod's Palace" "...has stepped Pontius Pilate, the procurator of Judea." " The prisoner from Galilee?" " Yes." " Have you sent the case to the tetrarch?" " Yes, procurator." " What was his reaction?" " He refused to pronounce give a verdict and has sent the death sentence by the Sinedrion for your affirmation." " Bring out the accused." "So it was you urging the crowd to destroy the temple of Yerushalayirn?" " Believe, oh kind man..." " Is it me you are calling a kind man?" "Call for Centurion The Rat Killer.." "The criminal has called me a 'kind man'." "Take him out for a minute and teach him how I should be addressed." "Don't cripple him, though." "The Roman procurator must be addressed as Hegernon, no other words are to be used." "Stand still!" "Did you get it, or should I hit you?" " I Understand, don't hit me." " Name?" " My name?" " My name I already know." " Yeshua." " Any nicknames?" " Ha-Notsri." " Where were you born?" " In the town of Gamala." " Who are you by blood?" "I could not be certain, I do not remember my parents." "I am told that my father was Syrian.." " Where is your permanent residence?" "L have none." "I travel from town to town." " To put it simply, a drifter." " Have you any relatives?" " No one. lam alone in the world." "Do you speak any languages other than Aramean?" " I do" " Greek." "So it was you provoking the people to demolish the temple of Yerushalairn?" "Kind..." "Hegemon, I have never in my life had an intention to ruin the building of the Temple and have never tried to convince anyone to take such a senseless action." "A great many people converge on Yerushalairn for the holiday there are magicians, wizards and sorcerers amongst them, but there are also some liars." "For instance, you are a liar." "It is clearly written that you have been trying to convince people to demolish the Temple." "Such are the witness accounts." "These kind people, Hegernon, have learned nothing and have confused all that I have told them." "I am starting to worry that this confusion will last a very long time." "All of this because he is taking erroneous notes when I speak." " Stop pretending to be a madman." "The notes that have been taken are sufficient for you to be hanged." "Oh no, but there is a person who walks behind me with a goat-skin scroll and he takes notes without a pause." "I took a glance into his scroll once and I was terrified by what I read." "Decidedly none of the things written there were said by me." "I was begging him to destroy the scroll in the name of God, but he... has pulled it out of my hands and ran away." "Who is he?" " Levi Matvei." "He was once a collector of taxes." "At first, he was very hostile toward me and has even been insulting me, that is to say, he thought that he was insulting me by calling me a dog." "Personally, I see nothing bad about this animal to be hurt when being called a dog." "He has been softening, though, after hearing what I was saying..." "He has thrown money on the road and said that he will travel with me." " A tax collector, did you hear that?" "He has thrown money on the road!" " Yes..." "He has said that money is an object that he now hates." "Ever since, he has become my companion." " Levi Matvei?" " Yes, Levi Matvei." "In any case, what was that you told the crowds in the marketplace concerning the Temple?" "I said that the temple of old religion will fall and that the new Temple of Truth will rise.." "I thought it would be easier to understand." "Why did you, 0 beggar... confused the minds by talking in the marketplace about the Truth that you cannot comprehend?" "What is the Turth?" " The Truth is, first and foremost, ...that you have a headache so strong a headache that you are cowardly thinking of death." "Not only can you not speak to me but to look at me you have no strength." "Unwillingly, I am your executioner, ...which saddens me." "You are unable to think and are longing for your dog to come, ...the only creature, evidently, that you love." "But your suffering will end now, your head will be free of pain." "You see, it all ended, and I am very glad it did." "I would advise that you leave the palace for a while, Hegernon, and take a stroll some place not too far, perhaps the gardens at the Mount of Heleon." "The storm will start later tonight." "It would be good for you to walk, and I would gladly accompany you." "I have some new thoughts, that you may find interesting, ...which I would like to share with you," "...particularly since you seem to be a very intelligent man." "I think you live a life that is too secluded and have lost all trust in people." "One cannot, you must agree, place all his affections upon a dog." "You life is scarce, Hegemon." " Untie his hands." "How did you know that I was looking for my dog?" "Quite simple." "You were moving your hand in the air as if trying to pat it =, while your lips..." " Confess, are you a great healer?" " No, Procurator, I am not a doctor." " Well, then..." "If you like to keep a secret, keep it." "It has no direct relation to our business." "Your statement is that you did not incite a demolition burning, or any other way of destroying the Temple?" " I, Hegemon have not invited anyone to take such actions, I repeat." "Do I look like I am feeble-minded?" "Oh, no, since you don't look like a feeble-minded at all, ...then swear that it hasn't happened." " What oath do you want me to take?" " Swear upon your life it is a very appropriate time, ...it is hanging by a thread, mind you!" "Hmm, you don't think that is you that hung my life on such a thread?" "You are mistaking, Hegemon, if that is what you think." "It is in my power to cut the thread, though"" " Another error of judgment." "If someone hung the thread, it would be him and only him that would be able to cut it, wouldn't you think?" "Now I have no doubt that the idlers of Yerushalaim were following you all around town.." "I don't know who hung your tong, but is hanging well." "Tell me, incidentally, is it true ...that you have arrived in Yerushalairn through the Suz Gates sitting on a donkey followed by a crowd of the poor, ...who have been shouting out greeting as if you were a prophet?" " L have no donkey, ...and I came to town through the Gate of Suz on foot" "...accompanied by Levi Matvei alone, and no one shouted a word to me, ...since no one knew me in Yerushalairn" "Do you know These people:" "Disrnas, Hestas, and Bar-Rabban?" " No, I don't know these kind people." "Why do you use these words 'kind people' all the time?" "Do you call all people kind?" "All people, there are no evil people in the world." " And this is what you preach?" " Yes." "Take Centurion Mark here, for example, ...called the Rat Killer, is he a kind man as well?" " Yes, but he is an unhappy man." "Ever since kind people have disfigured him, he became ruthless and dry." "I wonder who has done this to him..." " The kind people ...were jumping on his like dogs on a bean" "The Germans were hanging on his arms, his neck, and his feet." "The infantry detachment was trapped, ...and if it wasn't for the cavalry turma that cut in on the flange, of which I was the decurion, then you, philosopher, would not be talking to the Rat Killer." "He would drastically change, I am certain, after a conversation..." "To everyone's happiness, that will not happen." "I will be the first to prevent such turn of events." "Write my words: the Hegemon has looked into the case of Yeshua called Ha-Notsri and has found that no crime has been done." "Based on that fact, the Sinedrion's decision ...concerning the death sentence of Ha-Notsri is not affirmed by the procurator." "However, given that Ha-Notsri's insane utopian sermons may cause unrest in Yerushalaim," "...the Procurator is removing Yeshua from Yerushalaim and is sentencing him at the Cesaria Stratona on the Mediterranean," "...coincidentally the location of the Procurator residence." " Was that all on him?" " Unfortunately, there is more." "The law on insulting the sovereign, ...allows death sentence on any date, including holidays." "Under that law the offspring of the accused are also sentenced." "In certain cases so is the offspring of the offspring." "The relatives of the executed are banned from mourning." " Ha-Notsri, have you ever said anything about the great Caesar?" " Truth is light and sweet to speak." "L don't care whether it is light or pleasant for you to speak the truth because you will speak it!" "Weigh each word, though, ...if you don't wish for yourself a death not only unavoidable, but torturous." "So answer now." "Do you know a Judah from Kiriaf, ...and what exactly have you told him about the Caesar, if anything?" "The day before yesterday, in the evening I met by the temple a young man who called himself Judah ...from the town of Kiriaf." "He has invited me to his house in the Lower Town and has treated me as a guest..." " A 'kind man', isn't he?" " A very kind and a very curious man." "He showed great interest for my thoughts and was extremely friendly toward me..." " He lit the lanterns..." "Oh yes, and he inquired about my opinions on the powers of the state." "He was very interested in the issue." " What did you tell him?" "Or did you forget what you had said?" "Among other things, I told him that any power is violence done against the people and that the time will come when there will be no power of the Caesars, ...nor will there be another power." "Man will ascend into the kingdom of Truth and Justice, ...where power will no longer be needed." " Continue!" "There was no more talk, some people came running in, ...have restrained my hands and took to prison." "There has never been, is none, and will never be a better and more magnificent rule for all the people that that of Emperor Tiberius!" "And it is not for you, oh criminal insane, to be discussing it." "Remove the convoy from the balcony!" "Leave me alone with the criminal, this is a matter of state importance." "I understand, Hegernon, that my words may have caused some kind of trouble to this young man from Kiriaf." "I have a premonition, Hegemon, that some misfortune is awaiting him, ...and I pity him." "I think, there is someone else in the world ...that you should be pitying much more that Judah from Kiriaf." "And so, Mark the Rat Killer, a cold and convinced killer, ...the people that have beaten you for your preaching," "...the robbers Disrnas and Hestas ...that have with their assistants killed four soldiers," "...and finally, a dirty traitor Judah... are all kind people?" "!" " Yes." " And the kingdom of Truth will come?" " It will, Hegemon." " It will never come!" "A criminal!" "A criminal!" "A criminal!" "Yeshua Ha-Notsri, do you believe in any gods?" "There is one God, and I believe in Him." " Then pray to him, pray well!" "Although, it is no use." "A hateful town..." "If you were slottered before you meeting Judah from Kiriaf, ...it would be better, really." "Why don't you let me go, Hegemon?" "I thing they want to kill me." " Do you really think, oh miserable one ...that the Roman procurator will set free a man that has said what you have said?" "Perhaps, you think that I am ready to take your place?" "I do not share you thoughts!" "Listen to me: if from this moment on you say another word," "...or speak to someone, beware of me." "I repeat: beware!" " Hegemon..." " Silence!" "Guards!" "L am affirming the death sentence of Yeshua Ha-Notsri." "Please call for the head of secret service ...and after him Joseph Kaifa, the head of the Sinedrion and the High Priest of Judea." "It was around ten in the morning, dear Ivan Nikolaevich." "Your story is rather interesting, Professor, ...although it doesn't coincide is with the gospel stories." "Forgive me, but of all the people you must know, ...that nothing written in the gospels, ...has ever happened in the real world." "If we start quoting the gospels as a historical document..." " That is all correct, but I am afraid ...that no one can support that what you just told us, ...has happened in reality either." " Oh, no!" "That someone can support." "You see, I personally was present at the time of these events happening." "I was there in secret of course." "Therefore I would ask you not to tell anyone and keep a strict secret." " How long will you be in Moscow?" " I have arrived just this very minute." " Oh, yes, but, well it very real!" "Very much so, this, and Pontius Pilate, the balcony, and all of that" " Are you alone or with a spouse?" " Alone, always alone I am." "In that case, where is luggage, Professor?" "At the Hotel Metrolpol?" "Where are you staying?" " Nowhere." "What do you mean?" "Where...will you be living?" " In your apartment." "No-no..." "I mean..." "I'd be delighted, but it wouldn't be very convenient for you at my place..." "I have a roommate, comrade Lihodeyev." "While at the Metropol they have wonderful rooms, it is a first class hotel, and..." " Say, is there no devil either?" " No devil either..." " Quiet, keep it low!" " Well, there is no devil!" "This is positively getting curious, no matter what you mention, you think it doesn't exist!" " So, he really does not exist, right?" "!" " Relax, relax, please relax, Professor," "You will have sit here with comrade Bezdomnyi, ...while I will run down the block and will make a quick call, ...then I will come back and we will walk you wherever you desire, since you don't know the city." " Sure, go make the call." "Before you go, I beg you to accept just one thing as a fact..." "Devil does exist!" "I don't ask for anything more." " Fine, fine..." " Mikhail Alexandrovich!" "Would you have me send a telegram to your uncle in Kiev?" "I will make arrangements, if you'd like." "Are you looking for the entrance, citizen?" "This way." "This will take you where you need to go." "A drink at your expense would be nice, as a tip for the directions I gave." "The ex-regent needs a fix!" " Comrade Poplavskiy?" " Yes, this is I..." " You have an urgent telegram." ""L was recently slaughtered by the streetcar on the Patriarch's Ponds." "Burials are on Friday at 3 PM." "Do come." "Berlioz."" ""Please disperse, comrades..." "If you would, please, disperse..."" ""Annushka." "Our Annushka from Sadovaya Street." "...this her doing."" "...she bought sunflower oil at the grocery, and has broken it at the booth." "Ruined her entire skirt..."" "Annushka, Annushka..." "But excuse me Could it be that he has arranged it all himself?" "But how?" "!" "We will learn all about this!" "I will have it explained!" "Tell me the truth, who are you?" "Do not understand..." "Russian to speak." "He doesn't understand..." "Do not play games!" "You spoke wonderful Russian a few minutes ago." "You are not German or a professor!" "You are a killer and a spy!" "Your identification!" "Documents!" "Documents!" " Citizen..." " What?" " Help me detain a criminal." "You must do this." "Which one is the criminal?" "Where?" " That one." " A foreign criminal?" " This one?" " If this is foreign criminal, ...one must first cry out for help." "...otherwise he'll escape.Together:" "one-two-three." "Help..." " Oh, so you are with him?" " L will turn you in instead." "Ticketing, citizens." "Ticketing." "Ticketing, citizens." "Cats are forbidden!" "Can't have cats on the train!" "Off I say!" "Get off, or I'll call the police." "He went into this entrance!" "Naturally, he hid himself in the bathroom." "Kiryushka, stop chattering." "Are you crazy?" "Peter Ivanovich will be back soon." " Get out of here!" " Loose woman!" "Exactly, he must be on the Moscow River." "On with it!" "Come." "Chairman of the tenants union has the keys." "Give it to me." "Where is the late Berlioz's office?" "What do you mean 'the late'?" "Mikhail Alexandrovich perished under the streetcar." "I am his deputy Zhildybin." "We will seal all papers of the deceased." " Who else lives in the apartment?" "The Variety Theater Director Likhodeyev, ...but he is not in right now." "The papers of deceased will be taken away." "Its 00:52:52:2700:52:57:01 His living area is given to the tenants union." "All items will be stored on indicated area ...until heirs are found." " Understood, understood." " Look after this." " Okay..." ""Griboyedov" restaurant!" "No doubt, he must be there." " Shall we sew the head to the neck?" " Better not." "We will display the coffin at "Griboyedov", ...but will cover the body of the deceased up to the chin with a black shawl." "That is right." "Let us start." "Where will you be dining tonight, Stepan Bogdanovich?" "What kind of question is that." "Certainly here at the writers union, dear Grigoriy Danilovich Archibald Archibaldovich has hinted to me ...that he will be serving portions of perch fish ala-naturel" "...virtuoso piece." "You know how to live, Stepan Bogdanovich." " I have no particular skill ...other than my desire to live as a human being." " One can have supper at home." "Many thanks!" "by 00:55:30:29 00:55:33:01 I can picture your wife, ...with a pot in a common kitchen attempting to ...make perch fish ala-naturel." " Hmm..." " Greetings to the Red Army men!" "What happened to Berlioz?" "It is more than an hour that we are waiting midnight is nearing, yet Guerman absent." "The lad is probably stuck in his dacha." "I pay dues for the third year in order to get my wife treated for thyroid disease ...and have her sent into that paradise, yet so far there is no progress." "Do not envy, comrades." "Dachas only 22, ...while the union has 3,111 people naturally, that the dachas were given tho those of us most talented." " The generals." "Latunskiy has 5 rooms in Perelygine, and he is alone." "Lavrovich, by the way, has 6 rooms, and dining room is sheathed by oak." "Yes the matter, as the saying goes, not in this, and in that, that half of the 12th." " Berlioz could and ring." "A not to go down to us downward and not to sup, comrades?" ""Let us go... certainly, let us go..."" "Kara time." "Zubrik two." "And also filet ala gospodar." "L have to say that this apartment where I live now, ...has always had a bad reputation two years ago it was owned by a jeweler's widow... named Anna Frantsevna de Fujeret." "She renter three out of five rooms." "One tenant was named Belomut, ...while the other's name has been lost." "And so, a couple of years ago the strange events began:" "...people started vanishing from this apartment." "On a weekend day, a police officer came to the flat, ...invited the second tenant to step out into the foyer and said that he is being asked to stop by the police station for just one minute and sign some form." "Not in a minute, ...not ever' has the tenant come back!" "The second tenant disappeared on Monday." "On Wednesday Mr. Belomut was gone as if he fell through the ground." "A car picked him up ...to take him to work." "...and took him away." "But never brought anyone back." "Let's drink..." "Cheers, cheers..." "In any event ...after all that the apartment was taken ...By Mr. Berlioz with his wife and I." "I was alone at the time." "Naturally, in a month both wives have disappeared." "But not without a trace:" "...madam Berlioz was seen in the city of Kharkov with a ballet master." "While my wife went to a room I found for her under the condition that... she keeps away from Sadovaya Street!" " Tomorrow at noon sharp..." "I will visit you." " No, no, I won't be home." " L will come anyway." " Please don't." "Where are you running?" " Berlioz!" "Berlioz what?" "What about Berlioz?" "What about him?" "Berlioz!" "Berlioz was run over by a tram!" "Just now on Patriarch's Ponds." "Berlioz what?" "Terrible..." "Berlioz what?" "...Under a tram..." "What, what?" "Coming through..." "We have to collectively write a telegram, ...Immediately right here and send it right off." "Well, Berlioz." "What can we do to help him?" "Stay hungry?" "We can't let the chicken cutlets 'de voila' go to waste." " It isn't us that died." " Not bad, poet Bezdomnyi..." "What happened to you, Ivan Nikanorovich?" "What happened to him?" "Who are you, citizen?" "What do you want?" " Comrade Bezdomnyi?" " Be greeted, friends!" " Wait..." "Don't let him in..." "Ivan" " He is insane..." "He must be restrained." " Ivan, wait...." "Stop him." " Done deal, a drunkard's fever!" "Call the police..." " He is not here!" "Keep him out..." "How did he walk the streets like this and escape the police?" " They tried to hold me, twice first on Skaterny St, then here on Bronnaya." " But I jumped over the fence!" " What did he say?" " My literary brethren!" " All listen to my words!" " Something happened..." " He has arrived!" "You must catch him immediately, before he does his despicable deeds!" " Who has arrived?" " The consultant!" "This very consultant has killed Misha just now on the Patriarch's Ponds." "Killed Berlioz." "Pardon, but could you clarify, killed how?" "And who killed?" "This foreign consultant, a professor and a spy." " What is his surname?" " That is the thing, surname..." " Yes." " If I knew his last name..." "I couldn't make it out on his business card all I remember is the first letter'W'." "..W.." " His name starts with a W." " A 'W'." " So what kind of 0 name was it?" "." "W, W, W..." "Wa, Wo, Winner, Wagner..." "Wolfgang..." "Winter..." " Wolf!" " You idiot!" " What is Wolf to do with this?" "!" " Wolf has done nothing." " Wo..." "Wo..." "No, I can't remember." " Citizens, listen - go call the police let them send five motorcycles with machine guns to catch the professor." "Don't forget to tell them that there are two others with him:" "...a tall one, covered in squares, with a cracked pince-nez ...and a fat black cat in the meanwhile, I will search Griboedov." "I can sense that he is here." " Comrade Bezdomnyi, relax." "You are upset with the death of our universally beloved Mikhail Alexandrovich simply Misha, and we all understand you perfectly well." "You need some rest." "Now the comrades will take you home where you will immerse in sleep." " Doctor, send for a doctor!" "Do you realize that the professor must be caught?" "Instead you bother me with you stupid ideas, an imbecile!" " Comrade Bezdomnyi, don't be cruel..." " To you I definitely will be cruel." " Let go of me, you snakes!" "." "Did you see that he was in his underpants?" "How could I not let him in, Archibal Archibaldovich, ...if he is a member of the writers union?" " Nikolay, this is the last time." "We have no need for doormen like this, not even if you work for free." "You go work as a night guard in a church." "Quick, get Panteley from the kitchen!" "Police!" "Write a report!" " Psychiatric care!" "Blow a whistle" " Let go, you animals!" " Carry him to the gate." " Grab his feet, call for a car." "Is his membership card on him?" ".." "Well, he is semi-naked..." "You little nothing!" "You just wait and see!" " Careful." "Bring him in." " Here, this way!" "Put him here, I know the way to the psychiatric hospital." "You dirty little poet!" "Long-nosed rascal!" "I will catch you!" "." " Here, doctor, a well known poet..." "Ivan Bezdomnyi." "Could it be alcohol-induced mania?" "Drinks a lot?" "Does he imagine little devils, rats, cockroaches or try to catch flying dogs?" "He drinks, of course, but within reason I saw him yesterday and this morning, and he was in perfect health." "Why does he wear underpants?" "Was he in bed?" " Oh, no, doctor, he came like this to the restaurant." " Untie me, bastards!" " Hello." " You pest!" " How old are you?" " Go to the devil, I say to you!" "Why are you angry?" "Did I say something unpleasant?" " Because I am in good health ...yet they brought me by force to an asylum." " This is not an asylum, ...but a clinic, where no one will keep you unless there is a real need." "Thank God, a normal person among all of these idiots, ...the foremost of whom is Sasha-deprived-of-talent." " Who would that be, Sashka?" " This one here, Ryukhin, the poet." "This is what I get instead of a thank you." "Such a trash!" " A typical kulak in his psychology a kulak carefully masking himself for a proletarian." "Have a look at his Lenten face!" "...and compare to the passionate verses he wrote for the holiday:" ""Flags, be raised and fly high!"" "If you look inside of him, read into his thoughts, you will be disgusted." " What I snake I've raised..." "Why do you think they brought you here?" " Devil knows why the fools did it!" "...They gripped me, rigged me with some rags and dragged me out." "Allow me to ask you, why did you arrive at the restaurant in your underwear?" " Nothing to be surprised about:" "...I went to swim in the Moscow River and my clothes were stolen leaving me with this garbage - well, I couldn't walk the streets stark naked!" "...so I put on what was available." "I was rushing to Griboedov." " The name of the restaurant." "Why were you in a rush?" "Did you have a business meeting?" " L am hunting the consultant." " What consultant?" " Do you know Berlioz?" " The composer?" " What composer...!" "Ah, yes...!" "No, not him The composer has the same last name with Misha Berlioz." "The secretary of the Writers Union Berlioz was ran over by a streetcar at the Patriarch's Ponds." "Don't you lie about things you haven't seen!" "I was there, not you!" "He placed him under the streetcar on purpose." " Gave him a push?" " No, where did you get that?" "The likes of his don't need to push." "The kind of tricks he does you wouldn't believe." "...he knew in advance that Berlioz would be killed by a tram." "And what measures did you take to apprehend the killer?" " Here's what measures:" "...I took a candle from the kitchen..." " What about the icon?" " Oh, that..." "You see, the icon is what scared them the most." "You see, this consultant to name things their real names he is friends with the evil forces and cannot be caught that simply." "...he does have those connections, it is a proven fact:" "...he spoke personally to Pontius Pilate." "Yes, and don't look at me like that!" "lam telling the truth, ...he has seen it all, the balcony, the aim trees in short, he has been there, I vouch for that." "Oh!" "It is two o'clock, we are wasting time." "Excuse me, where is the telephone?" " Allow him to the telephone." " Is he married?" " Single." " A union member?" " Yes." "Is this the police!" "Comrade, make immediate arrangements, ...that five motorcycles armed with machine guns be dispatched ...to apprehend the foreign consultant." "...what?" "." "Come pick me up, I will go with you." "...this is poet Bezdomnyi speaking." "From the psychiatric hospital." "Doctor, what is the address here?" "Hello, are you listening..." "What an outrage!" " ." "Good bye." " Show merci, where will you go?" "...at night and undressed." "You don't feel well." "Stay here." " Thank you..." " Let me through, let me..." " This is how you are?" "Fine." "Is that the kind of window panes you have!" " Let me go, get off!" " Let me go, rascals!" "You have no right!" " Bandits!" " Let go!" " "Release him"" " Arrested after all..." "Very well." "...I have warned you, the rest is your business ...You will be the ones paying for all of this." " A bath, a separate room, and a guard." " Doctor, is he really sick?" " Oh, yes." " What is it?" "Schizophrenia, most likely." "With alcoholism to complicate things." " L am interested mostly now interested in Pontius Pilate." " Hegemon." " Hegemon." "L have looked into the case of Yeshua Ha-Notsri and have affirmed the death sentence." "...thus there are three criminals sentenced to to death:" "...Disrnas, Hestas, Bar Rabban and in addition this Ha-Notsri." "The first two are procurator's, and will not be discussed." "The two others, though, Bar Rabban and Ha-Notsri, ...have been arrested by the local powers and convicted by the Sined rion." "According to the law, one of them has to be released ...to honor the upcoming great holiday of Passover." "I would like to know which one of the two criminals the Sinedrion wishes to free Bar Rabban or Ha-Notsri?" "The Sinedrion is asking to free Bar Rabban." "To tell you the truth, your answer surprises me." "In this case, there is an obvious mistake." "The crimes committed by the two are not compatible." "If leshua is just a mad man, Bar Rabban's crime is much more significant." "He had allowed himself to call the people against the existing power, killed the soldier..." "Because of that, we ask you to rethink your final decision" "And leave the one less harmful to be free." "Without a doubt, Ha-Notsri is less harmful." " So?" " The Sinedrion has read the case carefully ...and is confirming its intent to free Bar Rabban." " How so?" "Even after my interjection?" "...The interjection of the one who represents Roman rule?" "Repeat once more, high priest." "For the third time we inform that Bar Rabban will be freed." " Very well..." "Let it be so." " Walls are tight around me..." "It is stuffy today, procurator." "There is a storm somewhere." "Oh how terrible is the month of Nisanu this year." " That is not what is suffocating me." "It is your presence, Kaifa, that oppresses me." "Take good care of yourself, high priest." " What am I hearing, procurator?" "You are threatening me after the verdict that you have written?" "How can this be?" "We are accustomed to the measured words from a Roman procurator measured before they are uttered." " We could be overheard, Hegemon." "Kaifa, we won't be overheard, not here." "Do I resemble the young fool being executed today?" "Am I a youth, Kaifa?" "I know what and where is to be spoken." "The palace is guarded and so is the park." "A mouse wouldn't sneak through any slot." "Not only a mouse!" "Even that one, what was his name?" "From the town of Kiriaf." "Remember him, high priest?" "Even if he were to sneak in, he would bitterly regret and pity himself..." "In that you will believe me, of course." "So be it known, priest ...that there will be no peace." "Not for you, not for your people." "These are the words of Pontius Pilate, the Horseman of the Golden Spear." " L know, I know ...how you hate the people of Judea and that you will cause it many a suffering, ...but you cannot destroy it!" "God will protect it!" "The almighty Caesar will hear us, ...and will shield from the wrath of Pilate!" "No, Kaifa." "You have complained too much to the Caesar about me." " Now is my turn." "The word will fly about the proven rebels that you are hiding from death." "More than one cohort will you see I Yerushalaim." "The legion of Phulminatus will come, ...and so will the Arab cavalry, then you will hear much cry and moaning." "You will then remember the pardoned Bar Rabban ...and will then regret that you sent the philosopher to the death and have ended his peaceful sermon!" "Do you truly believe the words you are saying?" "It isn't peace that this seducer of crowds has brought us, ...and you know it full well, rider." "You wanted to release him so he ruffles the people, ...belittles the faith and bring Roman sword upon the people of Judea." "I, the high priest of Judea, ...will protect the faith from all curses ...and will protect the peopleé géUéUé iéfiiéi!" "Do you hear, Pilate?" "Listen to this, procurator!" "Is it pitiful Bar Rabban, you reckon, that has cause the uproar?" "It is almost noon time." "We got carried away, ...while we must continue, the sentence must be declared." " Styopa!" " Ah?" "If you don't get up now, you will be shot by a death squad." " Shoot me..." "Do whatever you'd like to me, but I won't get up." "Good day, most charming Stepan Bogdanovich." " How may I help you?" " It is eleven." "And exactly one hour that I am waiting for your awakening, because you have requested that I come at ten..." "So..." "Here I am." " Forgive me what is your name." " You forgot my name as well?" " L am sorry..." "To be honest, last night I have had a bit..." " I'll take an aspirin now..." "No, no my dearest Stepan Bogdanovich, that will not help you." "You should follow the wise old rule:" "...to cure like with the like." "The only thing that will resurrect you is two shots of vodka with a hot and spicy snack." " Will you?" " With pleasure." "Ho are you now?" "Have you recalled my name?" " Nonetheless..." "I sense that you have chased vodka with port wine!" " Be merciful, how can you do that!" " I'd like to ask for this to remain between the two of us." " Of course, of course!" "Although I can't vouch for Mr. Khoustov." " Do you know Khoustov?" "L saw him briefly, when he was with you, ...but a brief glance at his face was enough to understand, ...that he is a rascal, ...muck-rake, ...time-server, ...bootlicker." " Absolutely right." " A professor of black magic Woland." "Yesterday afternoon I arrived to Moscow from abroad, ...came to you immediately and offered a show at the Variete Theater." "You called to the Moscow regional committee on entertainment and have cleared everything with them." "Then you signed a contract with Professor Woland ...for a seven night series." "And have agreed that Woland will visit you at home to settle the details... at 10 AM today." "At 10 AM today." "And so I came." "I saw your condition, sent the girl to the nearest deli, and..." " Allow me to pay you back." " Oh, nothing to it!" "Would you..." "let me take a look at the contract." " Of course, please do." "Here's the receipt about advance payment of 10,000 rubles." " One second." " Good day..." "All I needed is this." "Berloz, Berloz, can't even comprehend that." " Yes." "Greetings, Grigoriy Danilovich." "This is Lihodeyev." "Here's the problem:" "I have here the artist." "Woland." " So?" " L wanted to ask:" "...what about tonight?" " The black magician?" " Yes." "The posters will be here any moment now." "When are you coming?" " In half an hour." " Grunya!" "Where are these cats coming from?" "This one." "Don't worry Stepan Bogdanovich, this is my cat." "Don't be nervous." "Grunya isn't here, I sent her to Voronezh" "She complained that you stole her vacation." "You are a bit surprised, ...dearest Stepan Bogdanovich." "While there is nothing to be surprised." "This is my entourage." "An entourage requires space." "And so one of us does not belong in this apartment." "I appears to me that the extra person are you." "They are, they are." "They are being quite a piglet lately:" "...they drink excessively, sleep with women using their position at work." "Aren't the devil doing anything, and aren't really able to because they aren't the devil competent." "They deceive their bosses." " Use the official car in vane." " Yes, yes." "Generally, I fail to understand how he became a director." "He is as much a director as I am the deacon." "Would you allow me, messier, to throw him the devil out of Moscow?" " Messier, let me?" " Hush!" " L beg you Tell me where am I?" " Impressive..." " I am not drunk, I am not well..." "Something happened to me, I am ill." "Where am I?" "...What town is this?" " This is Yalta." " Doctor Stravinskiy." "Like Pontius Pilate..." "Please." "An entire case fabricated..." " Schizophrenia." "He knew this..." " You are a poet." " L am a poet." "You are a professor." "Are you the boss here?" " Yes..." "I need to speak with you." " This is the reason I came here." " You see, here's what happened..." "They dressed me for a madman and no one here would listen to me!" "Oh, no, we will listen very attentively and will not allow anyone to treat you for a fool." " Then listen." "Last evening at the Patriarch's Ponds I met a mysterious persona a foreigner." "Or rather, not foreigner, but he knew in advance about the death of Berlioz also, he has seen Pontius Pilate in person." "Pilate..." "The contemporary of Jesus Christ." " Exactly!" "Your friend Berlioz was killed by a streetcar?" "Precisely!" "He was killed in my presence at the Patriarch's Ponds!" " While the mysterious gentleman..." " The acquaintance of Pontius Pilate." " Him precisely!" "He knew in advance that Annushka would spill sunflower oil while his foot would slip on that very oil - how do you like that?" " Who would that Annushka be?" " Annushka is irrelevant here.." "Devil knows who she is." "Some fool from Sadovaya Street!" "What is important, you see, is that he knew beforehand about the sunflower oil." "Do you understand me?" "L understand you quite well." "Please don' worry and continue." "L understand you quite well." "Please don' worry and continue." " L am." "Well." "This terrible person is lying, he is no consultant!" "He has supernatural powers." "Such as." "If you try to chase him, you will never catch him." "Further more, there are another two characters with him, also impressive." "One is tall, dressed in squares, glasses cracked." "While the other is a huge cat that rides in a tram." "Most importantly:" "...He has personally been present at the balcony of Pontius Pilate." "There is not a shade of doubt about that." "There is not a shade of doubt about that." "To summarize, what do we have?" "He has to be arrested immediately, before he causes terrible misfortunes." "So you are trying to have this individual arrested, did I understand you well?" " Absolutely right!" "Let us think, how can we have this accomplished." "Meanwhile, I am being held here pocking me in the eyes with some lamp bathe me and ask questions about my uncle Fedya who used to drink heavily in Vologda." "Whilst he has passed on a very long time ago." "I demand to be freed at once." " Good." "Very good." "We have cleared it all:" "...why keep a healthy man in a hospital?" "...why keep a healthy man in a hospital?" "I will discharge you immediately, ...if you tell me that are... a healthy man." "Do not prove it to me, only say it." "Are you normal?" " L am normal." " L am normal." " Very well." "If so, let us think logically." "Consider your day yesterday." "Have you hung an icon on your chest yesterday?" " L have." " You have..." "Then you arrived at a restaurant with a candle in your hand and dressed in underwear... in your hand and dressed in underwear and at the restaurant have made a fight." "Did that happen?" " Yes." "When you came here, you called the police and have asked for machine guns" "After that you attempted to jump out the window." "Let me ask you, is it possible to catch or apprehend someone?" "If you are a normal man, your answer to this will be 'No, in no way is it possible'" "If you are a normal man, your answer to this will be 'No, in no way is it possible'" "You'd like to leave here?" "Be my guest." "But let me ask you, where will you go first?" " To the police, of course!" " What will be the first thing you say?" " About Pontius Pilate." "Fyodor Vasilyevich, please discharge citizen Bezdomnyi to town.." "Fyodor Vasilyevich, please discharge citizen Bezdomnyi to town.." "Keep this room open, though, and do not change the sheets." "Because after two hours citizen Bezdomnyi will be back." " On what grounds will I be back!" "?" "On the grounds that when you come to the police in your underpants and will say that met a man that personally knew Pontius Pilate," "...you will be brought here immediately." " Why do the underpants matter?" "Well...it is mostly Pontius Pilate, but the underpants do as well." "Despite all that, he has to be caught!" "Do you understand that?" " Why run after him in person?" "Write down your thoughts and suspicions against this man." "There is nothing simpler than to send your note where it should be directed." "Only one condition must hold: do not overwork your brain and think as little as possible about Pontius Pilate." "One may be telling all types of stories." "Not all that is said must be believed." "L understand." "I request paper and a pen." "L understand." "I request paper and a pen." "Fyodor Vasilyevich, give the poet some paper and very short pencil." "Also, try oxygen and baths." ""Write an application letter"" "Comrade Bosoy, I am asking to allocate to me the square footage of the late Berlioz." "I will make repairs at my own expense." " Write an application." "L am pointing at the impossible crowdedness impassibility to live in the same flat with bandits." " Application." "Citizen Kvastsov has stolen my dumplings and has put them literally into his pocket." " Submit an application." " L vow to take my own life..." " Submit an application." " L vow to take my own life..." " Submit an application." " Comrade Bosoy..." ""Application!" "Comrade Bosoy, I am confessing to you that I am secretly pregnant." "And therefore put claim upon the square footage of the deceased." " Application." " Are you here to see me, comrade?" " Who are you?" " Ah!" "Nikanor Ivanovich!" " Ah!" "Nikanor Ivanovich!" "Nikanor Ivanovich!" "What a coincidence?" "Nikanor Ivanovich!" " L am...pardon me...are you an official?" " Oh, well, Nikanor Ivanovich, ...what is an official versus non-official?" "It all depends upon the point of view, and the position from which the subject is analyzed." "All things, Nikanor Ivanovich, are so shaky and so relative..." "Today I may be an official persona, while tomorrow it may all change and I won't be one." "At times, the opposite happens as well, oh yes, it does..." " Who are you?" "What is your last name?" "My last name, let's suppose, is Koroviev." "My last name, let's suppose, is Koroviev." "How about we have a snack together, Nikanor Ivanovich?" "...with no further formalities." " What snack?" "You cannot sit inside the area that belonged to the deceased." "What are you doing here?" " I?" "I am accompanying a foreigner that resides in this apartment, as a translator." "The foreign artist, Mr. Woland ...was kindly invited by the director of the Variety Theater Likhodeyev, Stepan Bogdanovich ...to spend the time of his Moscow tour at this apartment, ...of which he has informed you by letter," "...asking to temporarily register the foreigner, ...while Likhodeyev himself makes a trip to Yalta." " L have seen no letter from him." " Of course you have" "Check in your briefcase!" "I haven't seen" "The third sheet." "Well?" "How could I forget about it?" "." "So, when is Likhodeyev off to Yalta?" "L am here." "He is gone." "Devil knows where he is now." "Nikanor Ivanovich, since mister Woland is categorically unwilling to live in a hotel and likes to live large, ...do you think the cooperative could rent out the entire apartment for a week, ...in other words, the rooms of the deceased?" "The dead man doesn't care." "He doesn't need the entire apartment, wouldn't you say, Nikanor Ivanovich?" "Foreigners have to live in the Metropol Hotel." " L told you, he is moody as a devil." "He does not want to." "Doesn't!" "He dislikes hotels." "I will say more:" "...These foreign tourists, I am sick of them." "They arrive and will either spy like a son of a bitch, ...or will torture you with his whims:" "...this is bad and that is not good, you know what I mean..." "Whereas for your cooperative this would be of direct use and obvious profit." "He would pay generously." "Millionaire." "Shh." "Millionaire!" "." "This question must be first cleared with the tourist bureau." "L understand, sure, please clear it with them." "Here's the telephone, why don't you start clearing." "Don't be shy about the money, who would pay if not a foreigner?" "Next summer, if you are abroad, ...you must come see his villa in Nice." "What a villa!" "O-0, you'll be impressed." " Hello, hello" " Intourist?" " So" "This is Bosoy speaking." "Chairman of the cooperative." "We are aware of Mr. Woland's intent to live in a private apartment of Likhodeyev..." "And have no objections." " Nice, nice." " Please." " Well, ...the cooperative agrees to rent apartrnent number 50 to performer Woland for one week with a payment rate of..." " rate of...?" " Hmmm...500 rubles...per day." " Let's see, 500 times 7..." "Makes 3,500?" "3,500 is not enough!" "Ask for five." "He'll pay it." " Ein zwei drei..." " It is strictly punished..." " Nobody saw it?" "Where are the witnesses?" "Nikanor Ivanovich, what happened?" "This is..." "You shouldn't have..." "This is..." " Greetings..." "Tell me my dear Bassoon what do you think, ...has the population of Moscow changed significantly?" "Exactly right, messier." " We shall see at the Variety tonight, then..." "By the way, I did not like this Nikanor Ivanovich..." "He is a thief and a scoundrel" "Can we arrange it so that he never comes again." " Messier must only give an order." "Hello, hello!" "It is my obligation to inform you that the head of the cooperative... number 3302B on Sadovaya Street Nikanor Ivanovich Bosoy is engaged in illegal operations with foreign currency." "Yes, yes." "This very moment in his apartment, in the bathroom vent there is a sum of 400 dollars wrapped in newspaper." "Who is on the phone?" "A tenant of the said building Timofei Kvastsov." "I do plead with you to keep my name in secret." "I fear revenge from the said chairman." " Damn you all." "Can't even eat." "I am not here, absent." "Concerning the apartment, let them know that we'll have a meeting in a week to discuss." "Is this the residence of the cooperative chairman Bosoy?" " Yes" " Why...what happened?" "We have nothing of the sort in the apartment..." "Do you have some papers..." " Let's go." " Aha..." "Dollars in the vent." " This your bag?" " No, they planted it.The enemies." " That happens." " Let us see the rest of the money." " L have none, nothing!" "I swear by God!" "Never held it in my hands." "Here's the contract." "That snake of a translator...he planted it..." "Koroviev with pince-nez..." "Comrades!" "." "Hold them..." "We have demons in the house." "Confess, Ivanovich!" "Confess and they'll give you a break." " Damn idiot!" " Damn idiot!" " Sit down." " Oh, my God..." "Varenukha, call Likhodeyev one more time." " He is not home." "I have sent Karpov the curler." "There is no one in the apartment." "Well." " What the hell is all this!" "I don't like this entire idea, not at all..." "He could have shown us this magician, at the very least." "Have you seen him?" " No..." " Where the hell did he dig him up?" "!" "Where is Likhodeyev?" "Where?" "Business has stopped." "He hasn't fallen under a streetcar like Berlioz, has he?" " That would be nice..." " Where is the Variety?" " Here." " Urgent telegram." "Sign here." ""From Yalta to Moscow, the Variety today at twelve thirty to the criminal investigation unit came a dark haired someone wearing underpants and no shoes... psychiatric case calls himself the director of the Variety Likhodeyev respond urgently to Yalta criminal investigation to inform where Likhodeyev is." " Well, hello..." "Another surprise." " False Dmitriy number two." " Fine..." "Hello, hello." "The telegraph?" "Using the Variety account." "Please accept an urgent telegram:" ""Yalta." "Criminal Police." "Director Likhodeyev is in Moscow." "Financial Director Rimsky."" "Are you Nikanor Ivanovich Bosoy, the chairman of the cooperative at 302B Sadovaya Street?" " L am Nikanor, of course I am." "What kind of damned chairman am I?" " What do you mean?" " Here's what!" "If I am the chairman, ...I should have known immediately that he is dealing with the devil" "Otherwise, how could it be: pince-nez cracked, ...and dressed in torn clothes." "How could he be a translator to a foreigner?" " Who are you talking about?" "Korovyev." "The one that occupied Apt." "50." "Take this down: he must be caught immediately." "Take this down too: entrance 6t, that where he is." " Where did you get foreign currency?" " God is the Truth!" "God is almighty, he sees it all!" "I have never held foreign currency and did nit even suspect that it might be there!" "God is punishing me for my sins..." "I have taken bribes, but with our Soviet money." "I gave residences for money, I confess." "Our secretary Prolezhnev has done it too." "To say the truth, the entire management office are thieves." "But foreign currencies - never." "Fine." "Now would you stop the nonsense and tell how the dollars got into the vent." " I'll be damned if I took any." "While Korovyev is the devil." " All patience has ran out." "Start speaking as a human." " There he is!" "Smiling from behind the cabinet." "It is his pince-nez." "Hold him." "Have the room sprayed with holy water." "Get holy water." " Sign here." "What?" "L beg you, having been sent to Yalta by Woland's hypnosis Send a super urgent telegram confirming identity." "Likhodeyev." " You spoke to him just after 11 AM." " This is ridiculous." "Ridiculous, regardless of whether we spoke or not, he cannot be in Yalta now." "Ridiculous!" " He must be drunk." " Who?" " Likhodeyev..." ""Hypnosis"..." "But how would he know about Woland?" "No-no this is nonsense, nonsense, nonsense!" "Where in the world does this Woland stay, anyway?" " Intourist?" "Variety Theater..." "Say, where does Woland the performer stay?" "50?" "SQ?" "!" " At Likhodeyev's apartment..." " Open up." " No one." "It's clean" " Strange..." "Let's go." " Where is Korovyev?" " L don't know who Korovyev is." " Why is that, Prolezhnev?" "A secretary of the committee and you don't know who lives here?" " Don't know... haven't seen... no idea." "The chairmen of the committee Bosoy knows." "Sit down." " You have a photo-telegram." " Signature, please." "Moscow, Variety Theater." "My handwriting as proof my signature, send confirmation have Woland secretly watched after"" "This cannot be..." " Let me see." "This is his hand!" " L don't understand!" " How far is Yalta?" " L have thought about it!" "To Sevastopol about 1500 kilometers." "Another 80 to Yalta." "By air it is shorter, but will let him fly?" " That is it." "Well..." "Hello... super-urgent telegram:" ""From Variety, yes to Yalta." "Yes, to criminal police..." "Today at 12 Likhodeyev spoke to me ...in person by phone in Moscow." "Period" "After that he did not come to work, we could not find him." "Period" "Handwriting confirmed." "Period"" "Measures around the performer will be taken." "Fin." "Director Rimsky"" " Very smart!" " And now, Ivan Savelyevich, ...tale all of this to NKVD" "let them figure this out." " This is really smart." " That's all." "Where" "Yes-yes" "Hello, may I speak to performer Woland." "They are resting, who is this?" "The Variety Theater administrator Varenukha." "Ivan Savelyevich?" "So glad to hear you!" "How is your health?" " Merci..." "Who am I speaking with?" "His assistant and translator, Korovyev." "I am entirely at your service." "Entirely." "Anything at all I could do for you?" "Forgive me, but isn't Stepan Bogdanovich Likhodeyev at home" "Alas, he is not." " He is not..." " Gone, gone away." " Where did he go, where is"away"?" "Out of town, to ride a car." " How is that, when would he return?" "He said: "I'll get some fresh air and be back"" " Merci..." "Would you be so kind as to let Mr. Woland know that his performance is in Act 3." "Ivan Savelyevich!" "Certainly!" "Urgently!" "Will let him know!" "Please accept my most sincere and warmest regards and best wishes!" "Best of luck, my dearest!" "Well, of course,just like I said: there is no Yalta, he just went for a ride." " Well, if this is true...!" " L know, I know what it is!" "There is a new restaurant in the town of Pushkin called Yalta." "Now all is clear, he went there, got drunk and keeps sending telegrams." " He'll pay for this trip dearly, so dearly!" "Wait a minute what about criminal police?" " Nonsense!" "His own little jokes." "Should I take the package then?" ""Oh, yes!" "Yalta to Moscow, Variety Theater." "Thank you for confirmation, urgent 500 rubles, I am flying tomorrow." "Likhodeyev." "Did he lose his mind?" "Be reasonable, Grogoriy Danolvich, you shouldn't be sending any money." " That is all right." "The money will come back." "While he will answer for this little picnic!" "Go straight away, Ivan Savelyevich." "Fold it and do not sell.Thirty best seats in orchestra and the balcony." "Yes." "Ivan Savelyevich Varenikha?" " He is not at the theater." "Don't play a fool, Ivan Savelyevich, and listen..." "Don't take these telegrams anywhere and don't show them to anyone." " Who is this?" "Citizen, stop these tricks!" "You'll be traced immediately." "Your number is..." "Varenukha, do you speak Russian?" "Do not take the telegrams anywhere!" " What the..." "Is this you, Ivan Savelyevich?" " Yes, so?" " Very, very pleased." "What is in your case, you bloodsucker?" "!" "The telegrams?" "Have they not warned you by telephone that you shouldn't take them anywhere?" " Did they warn you or not?" " They have... had... did..." " But you had to go anyway..." "Give us the case, snake!" "The case!" " A now for a kiss!" "To the police." "From the member of writers union Ivan Nikolayevich Bezdomnyi." "A report." "Last night I and the deceased M.A. Berlioz came to ...the Patriarch's Ponds." "That doesn't read, "came with the deceased"." "The dead do not walk." "True, they may take me for a madman." "Well Berlioz." "Report." "Last night I and ...M.A. Berlioz, Later deceased, came to the Patriarch's Ponds." "Or..." "Last night I and M.A. Berlioz, ...who was killed by a streetcar who was not a composer." "Actor Sazonov, having been impressed with the triumphs of our economy has increased the number of rolls in his sparkling performance by two, which is two more than he had in previous season." "Comrades, please applaud, a paradox!" ""Service entrance"" " Has Varenukha returned?" "From where?" " That I know." "Why?" "For what?" "!" " The foreign performer has arrived." " Oh, my God..." " Citizens, ...now you will see a performance by a well-known foreign artist Monsieur Woland ...with a session of black magic!" "Of course we know that it doesn't exist." "Maestro Woland is a master of technical tricks, ...which will become apparent from the most fascinating part of the show, the denouncernent and explanation of techniques." "Please welcome Mr. Woland!" " L need an armchair." "You were right, dear Bassoon." "City dwellers have changed significantly." "Only on the surface, though, but so has the city." "All of these, what do you call them?" "The trams the cars..." " The buses." "The foreign artist is expressing his astonishment At the achievements of Moscow and the Muscovites." " Have I expressed astonishment?" "You expressed no astonishment whatsoever." " What is this person saying then..." " Just a simple lie!" "Congratulations, mister, on having lied!" "L am not intrigued, of course, by all the buses, telephones, and other..." ""Apparatuses?" " Exactly, thank you." "But rather a much more important question:" "...have these citizens changed inside?" "Oh, my God, this is labor camp material..." "Yes, this question is of utmost importance." "We have, dear Bassoon, spoken for too long.The public is losing interest." "For starters, show them something simple." "This stack of cards, dear citizens, is now in Row 7 with Mr. Parchevskiy!" "He has it between a three ruble bill and a subpoena on alimony payments to Ms. Zelkova." "Ten rubles ten rubles" " This is real money!" " Play with me with cards like that!" " Why are you alone?" "Avec pleasure!" "All of us!" "We'll take a part, right?" "Ein, zwei, drei!" " Shh!" "." "May I have a sit?" " How did you enter?" "The balcony bars are locked." " L stole the keys about a month ago, ...which now allows me to visit a neighbor." "Can you escape then, or is it high above the ground?" "L cannot escape, but it is not because it is high above the ground, ...rather because I have nowhere to go." "Are we sitting still?" " We are..." " G o." "Citizens, we have just witnessed a case of so-called mass hypnosis." "This is a purely scientific experiment that proves beyond doubt ...that magic and miracles do not exist." "Let us ask maestro Woland to show the mechanics of this trick." "You will see, citizens, that these imaginary money bills will disappear as suddenly as they have appeared." " This a case of a mass lie." "The bills are real, citizens!" "Besides, I am tired of this announcer." "Sticks his nose where it doesn't belong." "Spoils the shows with his phony comments." "What shall we do with him?" " Tear his head off!" " What?" "!" "To tear the head off is a good idea." "A good one..." "Begemot, do it." "Ein, zwei, drein." " Is there a doctor..." " Don't torture him!" "For God's sake, don't torture him"" "What do you say, citizens, shall we forgive him?" ""Spare him... spare him... spare him..."" " At your order, Messier." " Well, well..." "They are humans like humans." "They like money, but it was always like that." "They are lightheaded... so what..." "Sometimes kindness does knock at their hearts." "Ordinary people..." "Generally, they remind of the old ones." "The living conditions has only made them worse." "I wonder, are there any of the old ones left..." "Put the head back on!" " How is it, fits well?" "Out of here, yes?" "It is more fun without you." "Bravo!" " Tell me, are you a violent one?" "You see, I cannot take noise, hassle, violence and other things of that sort." "Last night I did smack one character in the mug." " On what grounds?" " No grounds, really." "Despicable." "Besides, what sort of language are you using, "smacked in the mug"..." "One can never tell, whether it's a face or a'mug'." "After all, probably a face..." "No, that has to be abandoned, once and for all." "Profession?" " A poet." " What a bad luck..." "What is your last name?" " Bezdomnyi." "Don't you like my poems?" " I dislike them terribly." " Which ones have you read?" " I have not read any." " How can you say this, in that case?" " Have I not read others?" "Perhaps, only a miracle..." "All right." "I am ready to believe." "Tell me yourself, is your poetry good or bad?" " Horrific..." " Then you must not write again." " L promise." "And I swear." "Now that we have removed this tiresome announcer, ...let us open a women's fashion store!" "All the latest models of women's dresses, ...shoes, hats, and undergarments." "The Spring and Summer of 1935." "Paris." "Rome." "Berlin." "Models from Garlen." "Chanelle '5, Mitsuo, ..."narciss noure", evening dresses, ...cocktail dresses..." "Take this, madam." "Welcome to the store." " Our company makes free exchanges of old dresses to new fashions from Paris and old shoes to Parisian ones." "Same I true about handbags, perfume, etc., etc." "Welcome!" "Let us go..." "I urge you to come in, don't be shy or formal." "Well?" "It is absolutely free!" " Come." "Welcome to the store, Madam." " Maestro, a waltz by Strauss, please!" "Si-bemol!" "The voices of spring!" " Come to the right... to the left... right..." "left..." "Please, Madam, come right in..." " Excuse me..." "My wife is ill, I will go in her place." " Have you a paper from doctor?" " A passport." "...thank you, comrade." " Completely free of charge!" " What is it that got you here?" " Pontius Pilate." " How so?" "!" "." "An astonishing coincidence." "Tell me, tell me, I beg you." "That is it!" "Due to the late hour the store is closing!" " It is very desirable, mister, ...that you immediately explain the secrets behind your tricks." "Particularly the trick with the money bills." "The mass spectator demands an explanation." "L thought that the mass spectator did not express any wishes, did it?" "But paying respects to the esteemed wishes of the Chairman of the State Commission for Theater and Acoustics Arkady Appolonovich Sempleyarov," "...very well, here's a secret to be denounced." "Tell us please where have you been last night at 7 PM?" " What... well..." "Last night Arkady Appolonovich was at the session of the Comission for Theater and Acoustics," "...but I fail to understand the relevance to the tricks?" "Alas, madam, you do fail to understand anything at all." "Having departed for the session of the commission, which by the way, has not even been scheduled, Arkady Appolonovich went to the Yelokhovskaya Street for a visit with the actress of a traveling theater named Milica Andreyevna Pokobatko where he spent close to four hours." " Well... what is..." "Now I see why this mediocrity got the role of Louise." "This, citizens, is but one of the denounced secrets, ...so pryingly demanded by Arkady Appolonovich." ""You freak..."" " The show is over!" "Maestro, cut the music short!" ""Here's for the late session..."" " ..." "This is howl got here." " Poor poet..." "You should not have spoken to him with such disrespect and even boldness." "You are paying for it now." "You should be thankful to have relatively few consequences." " Who the hell is he, after all?" " Last night on Patriarch's Ponds you have met Satan." " Devil..." "God..." "Disperse." " Oh, my God..." " Vasya, come here, this is interesting." " L knew this..." " I knew this, yes..." "Must call..." "NKVD." "Do not call, Rimskiy, it will be painful."" " Jesus... you have... scared me." "Forgive me, I thought that you have gone already." " Why didn't you call?" "What was all of this mess wit Yalta?" " Just like I said." "He was found at a tavern in Pushkin." "He has gotten the telegram technician drunk and they started misbehaving." "Sending telegrams denoted "Yalta"." " Where is he now?" "Naturally, at the overnight detoxification clinic." "The drunken dance with the technician in front of the telegraph building was worth a lot to see, ...the chase after some pedestrian, running after girls, chasing the bartender at the same Yalta restaurant, ...throwing scallions on the floor at the restaurant," "...consumption of eight bottles of a dry white Ay-Danilya, ...breaking of the taxicab meter." "Stepa has surpassed himself to the point of having a resisting those who came to apprehend him." "To be short, a dark horror." " What happened with you face?" "The car skidded and I hit the door handle." " You are lying!" "He doesn't cast a shade!" " He got the hunch, damned." "Always a quick one." "Get him!" " A-a-a!" " Here he is!" " Come here... come..." " Help..." "Help..." "No, no, I will not" " Come here..." " No-no..." "I don't want to..." "I don't..." " What did you find out?" " Very little one says that ...the magician was short, had gold teeth and had a limp on his right leg." "The other, ...states that his was a giant, his crown were made of platinum, and the limp was on the left leg." "Yet another woman informs that he had no unusual features." " What else?" "The magician had not registered anywhere upon arrival, ...has shown no passport or any other papers to anyone," "...no contracts or agreements." "No one has heard about him." " No one at all?" "Go through the entire chain of events." "Collect material." "Arrest everyone who has even a little relevance." "The investigation on this political case with hellish overtones ...and added tricks with hypnosis not to mention open criminality, ...must be closed within two days at the longest." "Get to work." " Yes, Sir." "Have this Baron Meigel included as well." " Yes." "The minute you started describing him to me, ...I understood with you had the pleasure of speaking yesterday." "You cannot but recognize him, my friend." "Forgive me, but you do seem to be a rather uneducated man." " L went to the sanatorium in Yalta." " Yes, yes..." " I am amazed by Berlioz, though." "Although, I must say in his defense that Woland can fool a much more sly individual." " What?" "!" " Quiet.. quiet..." "Quiet, quiet." " L see, I see..." "He had the letter W on his business card." "Ay-ay-ay..." "What a surprise..." "In that case he must have really been with Pontius Pilate." "He was already born then." "And they call me crazy here." "Your acquaintance has seen Pilate and been at a breakfast with Kant, ...and he is visiting Moscow." " He will make one hell of a mess here!" "He must be caught in some way." " You have tried already, enough is enough." "I would not advise others to try it either." "That he will make a mess, you must not worry - he will." "What a disappointment that it was not you to meet him!" "Although everything has burned, ...for a rendezvous with his I would give everything I have, my bundle of keys." "For I am poor as dirt." " Why would you want to see him?" " It is a rather strange story I am here for the same reason you are." "Because of Pontius Pilate." "You see, I have written a novel about Pilate about a year ago." " Are you a writer?" " L am the Master." "She has saw this for me with her own hands." " What is you name?" " L have no name, not anymore." "I have given it up as I have everything else in life." "But... will you tell me about your book, at least?" " Certainly." "My story really isn't very ordinary." "By trade I am a historian." "Only two years back I was working for one of the museums in Moscow." "Occasionally, I was doing translations..." " From what languages?" "L know five languages besides Russian:" "English, French, German, ...Greek, Latin, and I read a little Italian." " Impressive!" "L lived in Moscow by myself, had no friends, ...and imagine this, have won 100,000 by lottery." "They gave me the ticket at the museum." "Once I won, I did several things:" "...I bought many books, abandoned my room on Myasnitskaya, oh damned hole and have rented two basement rooms from a builder in a small house with a garden..." "I left my position at the museum and started composing my novel about Pontius Pilate." "And that is when something happened that was much more significant than winning the 100,000 rubles." " Do you like my flowers?" " NO." " You don't like flowers at all?" " L do like flowers, but not this kind." " What kind do you like?" " L like roses." "Continue, please." "Do not skip anything, please." "What happened after?" "." "You might have guessed it yourself." "Love have sprung in front of us as if from nowhere like a killer does in a dark passageway." "It got both of u at once." "The way a lightning does." "Or a hunting knife." "L came out with yellow flowers so that you could finally see me." "If that did not happen, I would poison myself." "For my life is empty." " No one knew about our affair." "The husband did not know, nor did friends." " Who is she?" " She came to me every day." "But I was waiting from the early morning." "Sharpening knifes, scissors, axes, sickles." " You are a Master." "It was much later, of course, but she said" "that we have always loved each other, ...even without knowing or seeing each other," "...that when she lived with another man, while I was there with what's-her-name..." " You were married." "That's why I am clicking, Varya, Manya stripes on the dress, museum, anyway, I don't remember." " L foretell your fame, Master." "Just do work faster." "I am waiting for these magic last words:" "...the fifth Procurator of Judeah, Pontius Pilate, The Rider." "My life is in this novel." " The novel was finished in August" "It was time to leave the secret asylum and come out into the life at large." "I did come out with a novel in my hands." "And that was the end of life." " Tell me, ...who are you?" " In what sense?" "Who has given you the though of writing a novel, particularly one that is written in such a peculiar manner?" " Will you be publishing it?" "L could not have taken such a decision myself." "Your work became the subject of discussion by an administrative panel." "Among them Latunskiy, a critic, ...Ariman," "...and Mstislaw Lavrovich, a writer." "The thought that the publishing company has enough to print for two years, and so the question of your novel's publication is not on the agenda." "And so..." " Good bye." " Good bye." " What else do I remember?" "Red petals on the title page." "The eyes of my lady friend." "Yes, I do remember those eyes." "No, I do not blame her for urging me to fight, not at all!" "Why, o why did I go to another publisher, and they printed a fragment of the novel?" ""The enemy under the publisher's wing."" ""The author has used the publisher's ignorance and lack of attention, ...to sneak into press the apology of Jesus Christ."" "Critic Ariman." ""We shall assault and assault well the following of Pilate and the God lover who imagined he could have it printed."" "Mstislaw Lavrovich." " L can assure you that the writings of Ariman and Lavrovich could pass for a joke next to the opinions written by critic Latunskiy!" "The title alone is worth a lot:" "..."A militarized old believer"" " I will poison Latunskiy." "The days became deprived of any joy whatsoever:" "...the novel was finished, and was nothing else to be done." "The two of us lived spending hours sitting on the floor by the oven." "Looking at the fire." "We began being apart, though, more often, than before." "She started going for walks," "...while I unexpectedly found é friend." "I am not disposed for new friendships, I do not trust people, always have suspicions, ...and yet someone unordinary will always find a place in my soul, ...someone unexpected." "Someone who looks like a devil-knows-what, ...and yet it would be him to win my affection." " Good day." " Good day." "L have a very funny surname, Magarych." "Aloisius Magarych." "I am a journalist and live in a flat nearby similar to yours." "Mine is a little crammed." "I had some business with your landlord." "He said you live here." "I have read a fragment of your book, and I am passionate reader." "Would you let me read the rest?" "Your novel is splendid." "Thank you, but that is not what critics say." "Would you like me to recite what the editors said about your novel?" "You were accused of..." " Let me introduce..." " Good day, ...I have a very funny name, Magarych." "Aloisius Magarych." "lam a journalist." "I live very near in a similar flat, although more crammed.." "And so I don't invite you." "But if you don't mind, I will visit you often." " I disliked him to the extreme." "I have never met a person, who could in one minute ...explain an entire article in the paper." "At the same time, the explanation did not cost him a thing." "He is intelligent." "This is your business, but he makes a terrible impression." " Has it been very torturous for you?" " Of course not, Messier." "One must act according to one's statute." " Is this vodka?" "Never, oh Queen!" "How could I pour vodka to a lady?" "This is pure alcohol!" " Drink bravely." "The moon is full and the night is festive I am dining in the tight company of friends and servants." "You health." " How do you feel?" "How was this tiresome ball?" " Tremendous!" " Tremendous!" " Charmed, breathless, destroyed..." " How tactful!" "How intelligent!" "The charm and presence!" " Couldn't agree more!" "Tel me, have you shot this former Baron?" "Naturally." "How could one not shoot him?" "He has to be shot." "I wonder, what if they come to arrest you..." "They will necessarily come, beautiful Queen, necessarily will." "But nothing interesting will come out of it." "I was worried when he fell." "You must be good at sharp shooting?" " Depends on the target." "It is one thing to hit critic Latunsky on the head with a hammer, ...and quite another to hit him in the heart." " Yes, in the heart!" " What sort of critic is this Latunsky?" " Well, there is one critic by that name." "I have crashed his apartment into pieces tonight!" " Why so, for what?" " Messier, he has destroyed one Master." " You didn't have to do it yourself, why?" " Should I rip his head off?" " Stay here, I'll do it I will go there right now." " No!" "No." "I beg you, Messier, this is not necessary." " As you wish..." " I think it is time for me to go." "It is late..." " Why such a rush?" " It is time..." " I thank you, Messier." "I wish you well, Messier." "Perhaps, some last words before you go?" " Nothing." "Except if you need me again, ...I will do all you want." "lam not tired at all and had a wonderful time at the ball." "If it were to last longer, I would give my knee, ...to the thousands of killers and rapers for a kiss." " You are rig ht!" "You are absolutely right." "You must do as you have." "This was a test." "Never ask for and never beg!" "Especially from those who are stronger than you." "They themselves will offer and give." "Have a sit, proud woman." "Now, Margo, what do you want for being a hostess in my ball?" "What value do you place on your knee?" "Now speak freely, do not hold back, ...for I have made the offer." " Is it just one wish that I can make?" " Not wish - demand." "You must demand, my Donna." " I want..." "I want Frieda to be stopped given that handkerchief, ...that she used to kill her child." " What is she doing?" "." "The possibility of you receiving a bribe from that idiot Frieda is out of the question, ...I don't know what to do." "You must be a person of exceptional kindness." "A person of high morals." " I am a light-headed person." "I ask for Frieda only because I have been careless to give her hope." "She is waiting Messier, she believes in my might." "If she is deceived, I will not have peace all my life." "It just happened so!" " Hmm, understood." " Will you do it?" " Under no circumstances!" "Each department has its own work." "I won't do it." "But you will." " Will it happen if I say so?" " Do it, will you?" "What a torture..." " Frieda!" " Queen..." " You are forgive." "You are forgiven!" "You will not see that handkerchief again." " Queen..." " Thank you and farewell." " Well, Begemot we will not gain from the actions of an unpractical human on a nightlight this." " Certainly, Messier." " Well, ...that does not count." "Since I did not do anything." "What are you asking for yourself?" "Diamond Donna, be more reasonable this time." "Otherwise the fortune may escape your hands." "I wan to have The Master, my lover, back this very second!" "I wan to have The Master, my lover, back this very second!" "You?" "." "You!" "." "You..." " I am hallucinating again." " No, no!" "Don't be afraid." "Don't weep, Margo it pains me." "I am so ill." " I am with you now." "I am with you." " Yes he has been well worked on." " Believe me, ...you will be helped." "Knight, give this man something to drink." " Here." " Are you afraid to take the drink?" "Believe, they will help you." " This means good luck." " Is this you, Margo?" " Do not doubt, it is me." " Look, he is coming back." " This is better much better." "Now let us talk." " Who are you?" " Now I am no one." " Where are you from?" "I am from the house of sorrow, I am insane." " Terrible words!" "He is the Master, I am warning you." "You must cure him he is worth it." "Do you know to whom you are speaking?" "Where are you now, do you know?" " I do." "I had a neighbor in the clinic Ivan Bezdomnyi, the poet, he told me about you." " Of course, of course..." "I had the pleasure of meeting him on the Patriarch's Ponds." "He nearly drove me insane ...proving to me that I do not exist." "You do believe that I am who I am?" " I have no choice..." " You must believe, this is him." "Tell me, why is Margarita calling you The Master?" " Her partiality to me..." "She holds my novel and my writing much too high." " What does the novel speak of?" " The novel?" "." "Of Pontius Pilate." "Of what, of whom?" ".." "That is Incredible." "Now, now..." "You could not find another subject?" "May I borrow it." "I couldn't possibly, I burned the manuscript in the stove." " Forgive me, but that I don't believe." "It is impossible." "Manuscripts do not burn." " Here is your manuscript!" "Omnipotent, he is Omnipotent!" " Now all is clear." "Margarita?" "What do you want, speak now." "I want for us to be returned to that basement on the side street off Arbat." "I want the burning lamp," "And happiness, so all is back to how it has been." " Do not listen, Messier, to the poor woman." "Another man is living there now, and it is not possible to turn things back to how they were." " Impossible, you say?" "True." "We will make an attempt." "Azazel lo!" " Hello..." " Magarych?" " Aloiziy Magarych." "You did, didn't you, having read Latunsky's article make an allegation that the Master keeps illegal books?" "You wanted to take over his room..." "What are you doing, Margo, you are putting shame on yourself." "I object!" "There is no shame in what she does." "I added a bathroom!" "The cost of all repairs!" "Good thing you build the bath, he need it too." "Out!" "This is even more impressive that what Ivan was telling me." "Excuse me, are you the same cat that boarded the tram?" " I am." "It is good to hear that you are so polite when speaking to a cat." "Usually no one is proper in addressing cats, ...although no cat has given permission to go on a first name basis." "It seems to me, though, that you aren't exactly a cat..." " Thank you." "In either case, they will notice my absence at the clinic." " Why would they look for you?" "Is this you registration card at the hospital?" " Yes." " Here you go..." "And here is the list of tenants at your residence." " Yes." " Whose name is there?" "Aloiziy Magarych..." "Look!" "He is gone." "Please note that his name was never there.." "If anyone asks, tell them it was a dream." " That is all, Messier." " No, it isn't." "What shall we do now with your entourage, my dear Donna?" "I personally do not need it." "Dearest Margarita Nikolayevna, please convince them to keep me a witch.." "Mr. Jack has proposed to me." "And gave me five gold coins." " Excuse me, comrades." "I ask you to be kind enough and give me a note, ...that will certify my whereabouts tonight." "I will be showing the note to the police and to my wife." " We usually do not issue such notes." "But for you we will make an exception." "We shall try" " Gella, take this down.." "This is to certify, ...that the holder of this note Nikolay Ivanovich has spent the said night at the Satan's ball ...in the capacity of a transportation vehicle." "Add brackets, Gella, and write "pig"." "Now the signature:" "Begemot." "There you go!" " Thank you, comrades, thank you." "Please let me go, I cannot be vampire I nearly killed Rimsky back then, in (Bella's company." "I am not blood thirsty, please let me go." " What is this delirium all about?" " Don't worry Messier." "You should not have been rude and should have lied on the phone." "Is that clear?" "Will you do it again?" " I swear on the holy..." "I mean I meant you Maje..." "Right after dinner..." " Fine, go home now!" "Well, now back to the side street basement, then?" "What about your Novel?" "Pontius Pilate?" " I hate that novel." "It caused me too much grief." "Please do not listen to him, Messier." "He suffered too much." " You must have subjects to describe." "If you are finished with the procurator, perhaps you could start writing about, what is his name Aloiziy." " That they won't print." "Besides, it would not be of any interest." " How will you support yourself?" "You will have to live in extreme poverty." " Gladly, gladly"" "She will come to her senses and leave me." " I don't think so..." "Your novel will... yet surprise you." " That is very sad." " It is not." "No more tragedies." "Well, Margarita Nikolayevna, all is done." "Are you in any way dissatisfied with me?" " Of course not, Messier." " Please accept this from me, then." "As a memento." " Farewell." " Good bye." " What I fail to understand is why is it still midnight?" "It should have been morning already?" "A holiday midnight is worth making a little longer, isn't it?" "Well?" "I wish you happiness." " Open up!" " No one is there." " The sun came back to Yerushalaim." "But before drowning it light in the Mediterranean ...was sending its farewell rays to the city so hated by the Procurator." "Excellent grapes, but not anywhere near Falerno." " Cekubo, a thirty year vintage." "How are emotions in this city?" "I understand, Procurator, that the emotions are calm." "It is fair to count on having no further riots?" "One can only count on one thing in this world that being the might of the Great Caesar." "Let the Gods give him a long life and peace in all frontiers." "You suppose then, that the armies may now leave?" " I suppose, Procurator, that that the Lightning cohort may now depart." "If would be good if they marched through the city before leaving." " Excellent thought." "I will dismiss them tomorrow and will go myself." "And I swear by the feast of the twelve gods, I would give much, ...to be able to do it today." " Procurator dislikes Yerushalaim..." " Think of this there is no place on earth more hopeless:" "magicians, sorcerers, enchanters, ...hordes of prayers and fanatics..." "Fanatics!" "This messiah alone was worth a look." "The one whose coming they were expecting this year." "Every minute one expects to witness most unpleasant bloodshed." "Troops reshuffled at all times, ...anonymous letters and complaints, ...half of which are about yourself." "You must agree, it is boring." "Either way, back to our business." "Tell me about the execution." "What exactly interests the Procurator?" "Were there attempts from the crowd to express indignation?" "That is the most important part, of course." " None..." "There weren't even crowds." " Very good." "Did you establish the fact of death yourself?" " Procurator can rest assured." "Were they offered a drink before being placed on the crosses?" " Yes." "He refused to drink." " Who did?" " Forgive me, I did not name him Ha-Notsri." " A madman." "To die from the sunburns..." "Why refused one's legal entitlement?" "What expressions did he use?" " He expressed gratitude and said that he does not blame for taking his life." " Whom doesn't he blame?" " He did not say, Hegemon." "Was he trying to preach in from of the soldiers?" " He did not, Hegemon; this time he was not talkative." "The only thing he said that the foremost sin among sins is cowardice." " Why was it said?" " It was not clear." "He was weird, although that isn't unusual for him.." " How was his weirdness manifested?" " He was constantly trying to look into the eyes of one or another of the people around him and was always smiling some peculiar smile." " Nothing else?" " Nothing else." " Here's the problem on hand." "We have not discovered till now any of his followers or allies which does not preclude from supposing that there are." "Because of this I am asking to immediately yet quietly remove from the face of the earth the bodies of all three executed and secretly bury them," "...so that there no mention of them even" " Yes, Hegemon." "In view of the complexities involved, may I go immediately?" " I will walk with you." " Two more points..." "First, your enormous merits in the difficult capacity of the head of Judeah's secret service," "...give me the pleasant opportunity to report this in Rome." "I am simply doing my duty in Emperor's service and am happy to do so under your direction, Hegemon." " This pleases me well." "The second question concern this Judah of Kiriaf." "I hear that he received payment, ...for hosting so well this, what is his name the mad philosopher." " Not yet, but he will." " How great is the amount?" " It is unknown, Hegemon." " Unknown even to you?" " Alas, even to me." "But he will be paid tonight, that I know." "He has been called to Kaifa's palace today." " What a greedy old man from Kriaf." "He is an old man, isn't he?" " The Procurator is always right." "But he is incorrect this time." "The man from Kiriaf is young." " Tell me..." "What sort of man is he?" "A fanatic?" " He is not, Procurator." " What else?" " A handsome man." " What else?" "He does have a passion of sorts, perhaps?" " He has but one passion, Procurator." "Passion for money." " Is that so?" "It is..." "Here the problem I received word that he will be killed tonight." " You spoke well of me, Procurator." "I do not deserve to be mentioned in your report, since I have no information about this." " You deserve highest rewards." "But the information is there." "Allow me to inquire, from where you have the information?" " Allow me not to tell you." "Particularly since the information is foggy and may not be plausible." "It is my responsibility to verify all intelligence, it is my work." "Beyond all, I have to believe my instincts, ...that have never deceived me." "The information is that one of Ha-Notsri's secret friends infuriated by the terrible betrayal committed by this moneychanger is planning, together with friends, to kill him tonight." "While the money received for betrayal will be thrown to the high priest with a note attached." ""Returning the money, the curse is on it"." "Imagine the pleasure that the high priest will experience receiving such gifts on a holiday night." " Not only no pleasure, Procurator, ...but a large scandal will follow." " I am of the same opinion." "That is why I called you for help in this matter." "All measures are to be taken to protect Judah from Kiriaf." " Hegemon's orders will be executed.." "I have to assure the Hegemon, though that the criminals plot is near impossible." "The man has to be traced, ...and slaughtered." "They have to know the amount he has received, ...and manage to return the money to Kaifa all of it in one night, tonight." " And he will be killed tonight." "I have premonition, I tell you." "My premonitions are never wrong." " So he will be killed, Hegemon?" " Yes." "The only hope is your amazing performance." "At your service." "I wish you health and Joy" " I nearly forgot.." "I owe you." " You do not, truly, Procurator." " Of course I do." "Remember my entrance into Yerushalaim?" "A crowd of beggars." "I meant to throw them some money, but had none with me." "I had borrowed some from you." " It must be nothing, Procurator." " One must remember the little things." "I am expecting your report about the burial as well as this matter concerning Judah from Kiriaf tonight." "Did you hear, Afranius, this very night." "I will be expecting you." " At your service..." " Unforgivably late... to make good what is lost with some insignificant, pitiful and belated steps..." "The deception of it..." "Banga!" "Banga!" " Show me your bracelet." " Nizah." "Nizah!" "Ah, it is you Judah, I did not recognize you." "They say he who was not recognized will be rich." " Where are you going, Nizah?" " Why do you want to know?" " We have agreed, haven't we?" "You said that you will be home all evening, and I was going to visit you." " I became bored." "You have a holiday, what am I to do?" "Should I sit and listen how you are breathing our on the terrace?" "...And be afraid the servant will tell my husband?" "So I decided to walk outside of town and listen to the nightingales." " Away from town, alone?" " Alone, of course." " Nizah, allow me to accompany you." "Why are you silent, Nizah?" " Will I be bored if you come?" "Fine, let us go." " But where, where?" "Walk to the olive groves in Gephsimania, beyond the cypress tree." "You know where it is?" "I will go ahead, you follow." "Do not follow closely, though, give me a lead." "I will go alone." "When you cross the stream, go to the grotto" " I do know the place." " I will be there." "Do not come after me, have patience and wait here for some time." " Nizah..." "Nizah!" "Nizah." " How much did you get just now?" "Speak if your life is dear to you." " Thirty tetradrahms." "I have it all with me." "I will give you all of it, all!" "Only let me keep my life." "Nizah..." " You are alive, aren't you!" "I am walking with you, hence I am alive." "We have as much time as we need." "The storm will be here in the evening, ...and cowardice is, no doubt, one of the worst vices." " I will object, philosopher." "It is the worst vice of all!" "You see, I was not afraid then, in the Valley of Maidens, ...when the furious Germans have nearly ripped apart The Rat Killer giant," "...but could you ever think, philosopher, ...that because of a man, ...that has done crimes against the mighty Caesar," "...The Procurator of Judeah would destroy his career?" "Yes..." "I will." "I will!" "This morning I would not, ...but tonight I will." "I have weighed everything, ...and am ready to destroy myself." " We will always be together now." "If one is then the other must be as well." "Whenever my name is spoken, yours will be too." "Mine, the orphan, son of unknown parents, ...and your, the son of an astrologer king and the daughter of a miller," "...the beautiful Pilah." " Would you please remember." "To mention me the son of an astrologer." " The head of security awaits." "I am asking to have me placed under investigation, Procurator." "You were correct I was unable to save Judah from Kiriaf." "He was slaughtered." "This bag with money was thrown into the house of the high priest." "The blood on this bag is the blood of Judah from Kiriaf." " How much money is there, I wonder?" "30 tetradrahms." " So little." "Where the victim?" " I do not know that." "The search will begin in the morning." "Do you know for certain that he was killed?" "Procurator, I have worked in Judeah for 15 years now." "I started under Valerian Grateus." "I do not have to see the body to know that the man has been killed." " Forgive me, Afranius, ...I am still half-asleep, ...that is why I said it." "My sleep is poor..." "And I dream of a lunar ray." "Imagine I dream of walking on that ray, a funny thing." "Please report your thoughts on this mission." "Where are you planning to search for him?" "Have a sit, head of secret police." "Please report your thoughts on this mission.." "Where are you planning to search for him?" "Have a sit, head of secret police." " I plan to start near the olive oil workshop in the gardens of Gephsiman." " explain, why?" " It is impossible that Judah ...might have been killed inside the city walls." "He was killed near the city." "He was lured out of town." " Who and how might have lured him?" "Yes, Procurator, this is the most important question." "I am not confident that I can resolve it." " Was there a woman involved?" " No doubt that there wasn't." "This possibility is ruled out." "Such explanation of the killing will only stumble the investigation and mix my thoughts." " What else could there be?" " I think, the money." " Excellent thought!" "But who could be paying money outside the town at night?" " Oh, no, Procurator, not like that at all." "Judah was planning on hiding his money in a secret place, ...that no one else would know." " I understand you now." "He was not lure by others, but by his own thoughts." "Yes-yes, it is so." "I will immediately start tracking the killers that traced Judah outside of the walls." "In the meanwhile, as I have already reported, I must be placed under investigation." "I announce to you, Afranius, that I do not think you must be investigated or punished.." "For you are done all you could and no one in the entire world could have done more." "I forgot to ask you how did they deliver the money to Kaifa." " You see, Procurator, ...that was not difficult." "The avengers through the package over the wall." " Was there a note?" " Yes." "Precisely as you had suggested they would." "Stop this, Afranius, what are you doing?" "These are the seals from the temple, aren't these?" "The Procurator must concern himself with such details." " Returning the cursed money." "You have all the seals, is that so indeed?" " It could not have been otherwise." "Imagine what noise it made at Kaifa's palace." "Yes, Procurator, there was much noise." "When I asked whether someone was paid at his palace, ...I was told categorically that it has not happened." " Is that so..." "Well, if no one was paid, then no one was." "The more difficult is will be to fins the killers." " Precisely, Procurator." " Afranius, another thought." "He didn't kill himself, by any chance?" " No, Procurator, ...please forgive me, but it is hard to believe." " In this town all is possible." "I would bet, ...that in the next few days rumors will be spread about it around the entire city." " That may be, Procurator." " We have clarified it, then." "Let us speak about the burial." "Those executed have been buried, Procurator." "The have you investigated, Afranius, would be a crime." "You deserve highest reward." "How did everything happen?" "The secret police crew has reached the hill in the evening." "One of the bodies was missing." " I should have known it." " No reason to worry, Procurator." "It was discovered shortly thereafter." "Someone..." " Levy Matvey?" " Yes, Procurator." "Levy Matvey was hiding in a cave, waiting for darkness." "The naked body of Yeshua Ha-Notsri was with him." "When the guard entered the cave with a torch, ...Levy fell into a desperate rage and took out a knife." " Was he arrested?" "We have quieted the madman by explaining that the body will be buried." " Was he driven away?" "My assistant has let him take part in the burial." "Perhaps it was a mistake?" " No error was made, continue." "I am at a loss, Afranius." "I am dealing with a man that makes no mistakes." "That man is you." "Levy Matvey was taken into the oxcart with the bodies." "In two hours we reached a deserted gorge." "The guard has dug a deep hole there and has buried all three bodies of those executed in it." " I wish that knew all of it..." "I would need to speak with this Levy Matvey." " He is here, Procurator." " I thank you, Afranius, ...for all you have done on this matter." "All soldiers that have buried the bodies must be rewarded." "As for you, please take this as a memento." " This is a big honor, Procurator." " What is it?" " I am tired..." " Sit down." " Why didn't you sit in the armchair?" " I am dirty." " You'll have some food soon." " I am not hungry." "Why are you lying?" "You haven't eaten all day." "Maybe even more..." "Fine, do not eat." "I have called you, ...to see the knife that you had." "The soldiers took it from me before entering here." "I need it back." "I have to return it to the owner." "I stole it." " Why?" " To cut the rope." " Mark!" "Let me have the knife." "Don't worry about the knife." "You will have it." "Now I need to see the sheepskin, ...that you carry with you," "...where the words of Yeshua are written." " You must have it all, don't you." "The last thing that I have." " I did not say 'give it to me.'" "I said 'show it.'" "There is no death." "Yesterday we ate sweet fruits of Spring." "We shall see the pure river of life." "Mankind will be looking at the sun through the clear crystal." "No bigger vice than cowardice..." "Take it." "You are a man of books, as I can see?" "No need for you to walk alone in the beggar's cloths with no place to call your own." "I have a large library in Caesarea." "I am very rich and want to employ you." "You will sort and store manuscripts." "You will be fed and dressed well." " I don't desire it." " Why?" "You dislike me?" "You are afraid of me?" " NO." "It is simple, you will be afraid of me." "It will not be easy for you to look me into the eye, ...after you killed him." " Do not continue!" "Take some money..." "You have not learned any of his teachings!" "For if you had learned, ...you would have taken something from me." "I mean that before his death he said that he does not blame anyone." "You are cruel." "While he was not cruel." "Where will you go?" " Hegemon, you should know that I will kill ...one man in Yerushalaim." "I want to tell you this, so that you know, ...there will be more blood." " I know that there will be." "The man you want to kill is me, of course." " No." "I will not be able to kill you." "I am not so foolish to dream of it." "But I will kill Judah from Kiriaf." "And will dedicate the rest of my life to it." " That you will not be able to do." "Do not disturb yourself with it." "Judah was killed this very night." " Who?" "!" "Who did it?" "!" " Do not be jealous." "I think that he had other followers, you were not the only one." " Who did it?" " I have." "This was too little..." "But it was me." "Well?" "Will you take something now?" "I want a new piece of sheepskin to write on." "Greetings, Nikolay Ivanovich." "I am a detective." "I'd like to speak with you about the event ...that took place yesterday on the Patriarch's Ponds." "You were seeking to meet us?" "Here we are." "Are you not worried about the faith of Berlioz?" " I am ready to answer all questions." "How far were you from the entrance gate, Ivan Nikolayevich at the moment when Berlioz fell under the tram?" " I was far." " What about the one in checkered pants?" "Was he right near the gate?" "You know about the checkered pants already?" "We know about everything, including the cat.." "Almost..." "So, where was he?" " He was on the bench nearby." "Ivan Nikolayevich, do you remember exactly that he did not come near the gate when Berlioz fell?" " I do remember." "He did not come near." " I wish you a speedy recovery." "I hope to be soon reading your poems again." " There will be no more poems." "My poems were bad." "Now I understand it." " Likhodeyev?" "You are under arrest" " I ask to be placed in a secure cell." "I have drunk severely in my office at the Variety Theater, ...and went some place." "Where, I do not recall." "I have drank Starka vodka, do not know where it was." "I slept under some wall, don't where that was either then again." "Varenukha, your behavior is silly and far from thoughtful and is obstructing the important investigation." "For that you will answer." " I am lying!" "I am lying, but only because of my fear!" "I am fearful of Woand's gang and their revenge." "They had me once already." "lam asking, I beg you, I dream of being placed in a bullet proof cell..." " Everyone wants a bullet proof cell!" " These rascals have scared them well." "Relax, Varenukha, ...we will protect you without placing you in a cell." "Tell us the truth." "I never slept under any walls, not have I drank the vodka." "I was beaten, though, by two of them:" "...the red haired one and the one with no shoes on..." " Looking like a cat?" " Yes-yes-yes-yes!" "I spent two days in Apartment 50 in a capacity of an advanced reconnaissance vampire I nearly caused the death of our dear financial director Rimskiy." " Damn..." " Well it isn't easy... to believe in your tale." " Wait." " A certificate." "The bearer of this document Nikolay Ivanovich, ...has spent the night..." "Behemoth." "How could it be possible?" " It was Natasha, the neighbor's maid." "She flew out the window, has saddled me and has driven me out offside of Moscow." "Yielding to the violence, I was forced to submit." "I have a favor to ask you." " About the bullet-proof cell?" " No." "Do not tell anything to my spouse." "Have you seen in your office window the suspect named Gella?" "Have you had conversations in your office with Varenukha, the theater administrator?" "What took you to Leningrad?" "I became ill and left town no knowing my actions MHe cTano." "Lock me up in a bullet-proof cell..." " Of course." "Well." "Three groups on assignment!" "Immediately!" "Sadovaya Street number 302-B!" "Apartment 50 is showing some action!" " What are these steps outside?" " They are coming to arrest us." " O!" "." "Well-well..." "In the apartment." " See that..." "Comrade Sidorov!" " This is great." " That is a clean job." " I am not naughty, I bother no one." "I fix cook-tops." "It is my responsibility to warn you that cats are ancient and untouchable animals." "Well, the untouchable ventriloquist, come here now." " This is the end!" " Take him." "Watch the legs, comrade commander!" "Devil..." "The only thing than can save a mortally wounded cat is a gulp of gasoline." "Doesn't let go!" " Th row the net!" " It is stuck!" " Don't move!" " Take him alive!" "Don't move I said!" "I don't see the reason to be abrupt with me." " Tear down!" "Get him!" " I call fora duel!" "God damned!" "Give me the cartridge!" " Quiet, quiet..." "What is happening in the apartment?" "It distracts me" "Must be Behemoth, damned animal" "Messier, the Sun is coming down." "It is time for us to go" "Forgive me, I have no more time for talk, we must go." "Grab him!" "Everybody out of the apartment!" "Use the back door!" "Is this the fire department?" "Run, run to the right!" "Sadovaya 302-B, come immediately!" "Faster!" "Faster, to the backyard!" " Chase them everywhere in Moscow!" "Send telegrams to all key railroad crossings!" "Have them apprehended death or alive!" "Careful." " Cats are not allowed." " Pardon me, did you say cats?" "Where have you seen the cat?" " We only accept foreign currency." "My dear, how do you know I haven't the currency?" "Are you judging by the dress?" "Never do that, dearest guard." "You may commit a very serious mistake." " Maybe I have a full primus of cash!" " Excellent store." " Yes..." " An excellent store." " Yes." " Mama, I want candy." " Come, daughter." "We have no money." " Mama, please buy it..." " Is it nice?" " World class..." " I like good." "Bad - do not like." "This department is very impressive as well." "Good looking foreigner." " No, Basson you are incorrect." "In this gentleman's face there is something missing." "Yes?" " Please..." " How many?" " One!" "How much as the tangerines?" " Three rubles per kilogram." " That bites, ay-ay!" "Behemoth, have some." " Om" " What are you doing?" "!" "What are you doing, have you lost your mind?" "I will explain." "Do not touch the merchandise!" "Wait a minute..." "Put the goods back!" "Wait, I will..." "What are you doing?" "I..." "Don't rush, one must eat slowly, no one is going to take it away." " Give me the check!" " Wait a little, will you?" " Palosich!" "Palosich!" "Give me the check!" " Dearest little beauty, ...what can we do, no foreign currency on us today, what are you gonna do?" "I do solemnly swear, though that no later than Monday we will pay it all back." "What are you..." "Give me the check!" "Well?" "We live very close, On Sadovaya Street." "You know, where the fire is." "Management..." "We will call the police!" " Palosich!" "." "Palosich!" "." " What are you doing, bastard?" " Palosich!" "Palosich!" "." " Palosich!" "Palosich!" "." "Palosich!" " Excuse me, citizens." "Whistle!" " Citizens!" "What in the world is happening?" "What is it?" "lam asking all of you!" "What is going on?" "Poor man..." "This poor man... fixes burners all day long." "He is hungry!" "Where can he find foreign currency?" " Quit it!" "Where from, I ask you?" "From where, I am asking you?" "!" " He is right!" " He is exhausted of thirst and hunger." "He is hot." "And so the poor thing takes a single tangerine for a taste, 3 kopeks worth!" "While these here started whistling like nightingales in the spring forest!" "The police is busy without you!" "Is he allowed?" "Why is he allowed?" "!" " Who the hell are you?" " Who the hell is he?" "I am curious." " Where did you come from?" " Where did you come from?" "What for?" "Were we lonely without him?" "Did we invite him or what?" " Did we invite?" " Of course, he is all dressed up." "His mug is well fed, salmon and all!" "Foreign currency everywhere!" "While our man he is ours..." "Comrades, I am bitter the bitterness." "What are you doing, citizen?" " Help!" "He is not a foreigner..." " Help, murder!" " This is not proper!" " Police, they are killing me!" " This is not proper!" " Police, they are killing me!" "Block the back door." "They are inside" "Stop!" "Do not move!" "Orderly, citizens, orderly!" "Everybody step back!" " Don't move!" " Ha!" "This is the writer's union." "You know, Behemoth, I have heard so many good things about this establishment." "Think of, how pleasant it is that right here under this roof exist several thousand passionate enthusiasts," "...that have made a conscientious decision to unselfishly give their lives to serving the muses." " Just like pineapples in a greenhouse." " Sweet eeriness rises to the heart, ...when one thinks that in this very building is maturing the new author of Don Quixote or Faustus," "...or even, I'll be damned,The Dead Souls!" " A terrifying thought." " Yes, but I say but with an emphasis on this word it will happen if they don't rot." "Pineapples do rot, it happens all the time!" "By the way, what are they doing out on the terrace?" " They are dining!" "Adding to the above, I shall note that they have a very charming and inexpensive little restaurant." "Not unlike any tourist before a long trip, ...I have a desire to have a bite." "I would also down a large mug of ice cold beer." " I would join you." " Your badges!" "One thousand apologies, what badges?" " Are you writers?" " Naturally... take off your hat." " Your badges!" " Darling..." " I am no darling." " What a pity..." "Fine, if you don't want to, you don't have to be a darling..." "You see, would you ask Dostoevsky for a badge, ...to make sure that he is a writer?" "Take any five pages from his novel and you will know without seeing a badge that he is a writer." "I would think that never had any badges, don't you think?" " I would bet that he didn't." " You are not Dostoevsky!" " You never know, never know..." " Dostoevsky is dead." " What?" "!" " I protest!" "Dostoevsky is immortal." " Let them through, Sofia Pavlovna." " What are you names?" " Panayev." " Skabichevsky." " Look at this." " How may I be of service?" "I have an excellent smoked fish." "It was intended for the architects' conference." " We would like some appetizers and..." " I understand." "Would you care for a hazel-hen filet." " Sure, sure..." "Would you care for a hazel-hen filet." " Sure, sure..." " Please forgive me for a minute." "I will personally supervise the filets." " Operator, give me NKVD, urgently." ".Oh!" "." " This is hazel-hen." "Don't move." " They are like children." "In accordance with the descriptions ...citizens Volman and Vol per were apprehended in Leningrad." "In the towns of Saratov, Kiiv, and Kharkiv three people named Volodin were arrested." "Mr. Volokh in the city of Kazan." "In Penza they arrested Mr. Vetchinkevich, a PhD in chemistry, for reasons unknown." "True, he is very tall and is of a very dark complexion." "In various locales were caught 9 Korovins, ...4 Korovkins and 2 Karavaevs." "A citizen was restrained and taken off the Sevastopol train in Belgorod." "That particular citizen was showing tricks to the other passengers." "In Yaroslavl at dinner time, ...some citizen with a primus came into a restaurant, ...having received it from repair." "Two guards have ran away once they saw him, ...right after he steps into the wardrobe room." "All other workers and all customers ran off as well." "Somehow the cash register contents mysteriously disappeared." "Sadly, black cats became the victims of the search." "For instance, in Armavir one such innocent animal was brought to the police with front paws tied..." " Get out of here!" "...capital punishment in the form of firing squad." "With confiscation of all possessions." " An interesting city, isn't it?" " I prefer Rome, Messier." " It is a matter of taste." "What is that smoke in the boulevard?" " The Writer's Union is burning So-called Griboedov." "I suppose that the inseparable Korovyev and Behemoth went there?" "I suppose that the inseparable Korovyev and Behemoth went there?" " No doubt, Messier." "Leave us alone." " Ba!" "." " Ba!" "." "This is the least of all places where you might have been expected." "What brings you here, uninvited yet no unexpected guest?" "I've come to you, the Evil Spirit and the Protector of Shadows." "If you have come to me, why did you not greet me, former..." "If you have come to me, why did you not greet me, former... tax collector?" "I have no desire to wish you well by greeting you." "You will have to accept things as they are." "Would you be so kind to consider this question:" "...what would be the purpose of Good if there were no Evil?" "What would the Earth be like, if there were no shadows?" "The shadows are cast by objects and people." "Here is the shadow of my sword." "The trees and the being also cast shadows." "You wouldn't want the strip the entire globe, ...by moving from its face all trees and all living things in the name of your fantasy of enjoying the naked light?" "You are a fool." "Now speak and be short, do not tire me." "What is your business?" " He has sent me." "What did He want you to convey, slave.?" " I am no slave!" "lam His disciple." "We speak in different languages, as always." "The things we speak of do not change, though." "So..." " He has red the master's writings and is asking you to take the master with you and reward him with peace." "Is it so difficult for you to do, The Spirit of Evil?" "Nothing is difficult for me and you know it well." "Why don't you take him into your Light?" " He did not deserve Light." "He deserved Peace." "It will be done." "Pass it on and leave me now." "He is also asking to take the woman that has loved and has suffered because of him." "We would never guess if it weren't for you." "Leave now." " Messier?" "." " Fly to them and make it so." "You are an intelligent person and were never crazy." "Yet you are certain that last night we visited... the Satan?" " I am absolutely serious." " Oh, well." "In that circumstance we now have two mental cases instead of one." "This is devil knows what!" "Devil knows what!" "Now I am not even sure that this food is not going to fall... through the ground or fly out of the window." " It will not fly away!" "Devil, devil - how happy I am that entered in an agreement with him!" "Now, darling, you will have to live with... a witch!" "You did start resembling a witch, do you know that?" " I don't deny it." "I am a witch!" " Fine..." " And I am quite happy with it." " Fine..." "Be a witch." "Very good." "So, I was stolen from the clinic." "They may not even miss me." " Nope." "But tell me, for Christ sake, how are we going to support ourselves?" "There you go here it starts." " Shhh..." " Aloisiy, are you home?" " He was arrested yesterday." "Who is asking, what is your name?" "You have suffered so much, my poor man." "No one knows it except me." "Look your hair is gray and the wrinkle near you mouth is deep." "My darling, my only one, do not thing of anything." "You have thought more than enough." "I will be thinking from now on." "And I promise..." "I guarantee that everything will be impossibly bright." " I am not afraid of anything, Margo." "I have been scared too many times and too much, nothing could scare me now." "...but I feel sorry for you, Margo..." "This is why I say again and again." "Come to your senses, do not break your own life living with a sick and desperately poor man." "Return home." "I feel sorry for you, that is why I say this." "You are a miserable man that believes in nothing." "The entire last night I spent naked and cold because of you..." "I have lost my true nature and replaced it with other..." "I have sat alone in a room for months and was thinking about but one thing about the thunder over Yerushalaim!" "I have cried my eyes out..." "And now when happiness has fallen upon us, you are driving me away?" "I will leave I will leave, but you must know that you are a cruel man they have sterilized your soul..." "I see a desert in your eyes." "You shoulders, these are burdened shoulders." "They crippled you." " Enough." "You have put me to shame." "I will never come back to this topic again." "I know that we are both victims of mental illness that" "I may have passed to you..." "We will carry the burden together, then." " I swear on your life I swear by the son of astrologer you have rightly guessed, everything will be well!" " Surely when people have been robbed as have been, they seek salvation with the evil forces." " Evil or not, is it not the same for us?" "lam hungry." " Peace on you!" " This is Azazello!" "How nice, how good, you see this?" "They haven't forgotten us." " Cover yourself, at least." " I don't give a damn." "Forgive me Azazello, that I am naked." "Not at all, I have seen women that were not only naked, ...but had their own skin completely taken off them." "Such a cute little basement, I'll be damned." "One question comes to mind, though what is to be done in basement like this?" " That is what I say." " Why do you disturb me, Azazello?" "Somehow..." " Not at all, not at all..." "I had no such intention to disturb you.." "I was just saying myself, somehow..." "Oh, I nearly forgot, Messier was sending his greetings." "We has also asked to say that he is inviting you to join him for a little trip." "If you are interested, of course." " With pleasure." "We hope you would not mind, Margarita Nikolayevna?" " I would certainly not." " Wonderful, this is how I like it." "Fast and certain, not like the other time in the Alexandrovsky Park." "Don't remind me, Azazallo." "I was foolish then." "One shouldn't blame me too harshly, though it is not every day that one meets... the devils forces." " Of course, of course." "It if did happen every day... it would be nice." " I like swiftness myself." "Swiftness and nakedness." " I forgot again, another thing." "Too much running around." "Messier has sent you a gift." "Falerno wine!" "Please note, it is the same wine that the Procurator was drinking." " Woland's health." " Margo!" "Poisoner..." " Natasha..." "Someone, help..." " Everything is fine." " Why, Azazello?" "For what?" "What have you done to me?" " Why are you so nervous?" " I didn't expect that..." "Murderer!" " He will get up shortly." " Poisoner..." "Insult is the usual reward for the work done well." "Are you blind?" "Open your eyes!" " Margo?" "Margo!" "Margo..." "What does this mean?" " It means that your time has come." "The storm is roaring, it getting dark." "The horses are kicking ground, and the little garden is shaking." "Say farewell to the basement!" "Be quick!" " I understand, you have killed us." "We are dead." "How...intelligent." " How can you say this?" "Your lady friend calls you Master." "You are still capable of thinking." "How can you be dead?" "I understand everything you say." "You are one thousand times correct!" " Why in order to think oneself alive, ...one necessarily has to be in some basement?" "To have on a shirt and a pair of hospital underpants..." "It is is laughable." " The Migty Woland!" "He did create a much better story that I have." "Do take the novel with you, wherever you go." " No need..." "I know every word of it by heart." " In that case, fire." "Fire, from which it all began and where it all will end!" " Fire!" "Fire!" " Burn, old life." " Burn, suffering!" " I will cut off the hand!" " I want to say farewell!" "I will wait for you here." "Say good bye, but be quick!" " It's you." "I wait and wait for you to come." "There you are neighbor." " I am here, ...but will no longer be your neighbor, to my regret." "I am flying away." "Forever." " I knew that." "I guessed." "Have you met him?" " Yes." "I came to say good bye, ...because you were the only person I knew lately." " This is very good that you came here." "I keep my word." "I won't be writing little rhymes any more." "I am interested in another subject now." "I want to write about other things." "All the time that I was here has taught me much." " That is very good." "It is good." "Why don't you continue his story." " Aren't you going to?" "Although..." "I should not be asking such questions..." " No, I will not be writing about him." "I will be occupied with other matters." "Did you hear that?" " It is the storm." " No, they are calling me." "It is time." " Wait!" "Another word." "Did you find her?" " Yes." " Was she true to you?" " Here she is." " Poor, poor man..." " How beautiful." "See, how well it all ended for us." "Not so with me." "Although maybe it ended well for me too." " Well." "Let me kiss you on the forehead and everything will be well for you." "That you'll have to believe." "I have seen all and I know all." " Farewell, pupil." " Praskovya Fyodorovna!" "What?" "What happened?" "Is it the storm?" "It is alright, we will help you now." "I will call for a doctor." " No, Praskovya Fyodorovna." "No need to call a doctor." "Nothing special has happened to me." "I know it now." "Don't be afraid." "Better tell me this, Praskovya Fyodorovna, ...what has happened in the room next to mine, room 118?" " In 118?" "Nothing happened." " Praskovya Fyodorovna you are an honest person." "Do you think I will be wrecking havoc now?" "I will not be, Praskovya Fyodorovna." "So you can tell me straight." "I can feel it through the wall." " Your neighbor has died." "Just now." " I knew that." "I can assure you that another person in town has died just now." "I even now who." "A woman." " Why has he changed so dramatically?" "This knight has made a bad joke once." "His pun related to the nature of Light and Darkness was not very successful." "The knight was forced to keep making jokes a little longer much longer than he might have thought." "This is the kind of night, though, when accounts are being settled." "The knight has paid and closed his." "I wanted to show you the hero of your book." "For almost two thousand years he is sits in that terrace and sleeps." "Only when the moon is full insomnia sets in and tortures him." "His dedicated guard dog cannot sleep, either." "He who loves must share the fate of the one he loves." " What does he say?" "He says that there no peace for him even under the moon and that his position is terrible." "He speaks so always when he is awake... but when he sleeps, he sees the same dream the moon walk..." "He wants to go on that walk and to speak with prisoner Ha-Notsri to whom he says he has not finished talking... on the fourteenth day of the spring month of Nisanu." "Alas, ...for some reason he is never able to step on that walk, and no one comes to him." "To his speech about the moon he often ads that more than anything in this world he hates his eternal life and unheard fame." "He says that he would gladly trade his fate with that of the poor drifter..." "Levy Matvey." " Let him go!" "Let him 90!" "Let him 90!" "Do not shout in the mountains..." "He is used to avanches..." "And it will not bother him." "You don't have to ask for him, Margarita, because he has been asked for by the Other," "...the one with whom he so strives to speak." "Well, now your novel could be ended but with one phrase." "Go ahead, end it!" " You are free!" "You are free!" "He is waiting for you!" "Do I go where he went?" " No." "Why chase what has already ended?" "We shall not disturb them." "Perhaps, their conversation will be meaningful." " Over there, in that case?" "No." "What will you do in that little basement?" "Well, then what I am offering and what was asked on your behalf by Yeshua, is even better..." "Oh, thrice romantical master!" "Do you not wish to walk with your lady under the cherry trees beginning to bloom and listen to Schubert's music?" "Would you not like to write under the candles with a goose feather?" "There, there where the house is ready and the old hand is waiting." "The candles are lit." "But they will go out soon, wen you meet dawn." "This way, Master, this way." "Farewell." "It is time." " Farewell." " Farewell." "Listen, silence, listen..." "Take pleasure in what you were not allowed to in life and the silence." "There, ahead, is your eternal home that you were given in reward." "The venecian window and the grapes, it rises to the roof." "I know that in the evening those will come, who you love, ...for whom you care, and who will not disturb you." "They will play for you, they will sing..." "You shall see how candles lit the room..." "You will fall asleep with a smile on your lips..." "Sleep will give you strength You will reason wisely and will not be able to chase me away." "I will be the keeper of your rest." "I feel that someone is releasing me, as I have just released the hero I created." "The hero has gone into the abyss gone with no coming back, forgiven on a Sunday morning," "...the son of an astrologer king the cruel 5th Procurator of Judaea, Rider Pontius Pilate." " The purpose of our conference, ...that we called together in the citadel of science, the Moscow Planetarium," "...is the dismissal of obscurantist, ...antiscientific and politically harmful rumors that have been circulating in Moscow and its region for several years now." "I have to warn you that the point of view that will be presented here is the only one that is correct." "Any other interpretation of the known events either because of certain citizens ignorance or malicious intent will be prevented as the act of an enemy." "The general conclusion is:" "...a gang of hypnotists wasat work." "This is in line with the materialist teaching of Professor Pavlov." "The investigators and experienced psychiatrists established that the gang of hypnotists whose members at least one of them most likely the one named Korovyev... were hypnotists of extraordinary ability and strength..." ""...capable of being seen in locations different from their actual whereabouts." "In light of this everything becomes clear." "Even the worrisome and inexplicable for so many ...unassailability of the cat that has been under intense fire in apartment 50 when an attempt for made for its arrest." "There was no cat on the chandelier!" "It did not return fire." "They were shooting at an empty spot, while Korovyev could have been behind their backs instilling the image of" "...tha cat on the chandelier." "He must have been making faces while enjoying his enormous ability used in criminal ways." "Likhodeyev never flew to Yalta." "That sort of thing even Korovyev couldn't do." "After fainting in his flat, ...scared by the trock with a cat that Korovyev did to him he was laying in his apartment with a mushroom on his fork," "...until Korovyev didn't mockingly put a felt hat on his head and sent him to the Moscow airport." "He has made the police believe that Likhodeyev is coming off the plane from Sevastopol." "When the police in Yalta was stating that they saw Likhodeyev with no shoes and were sending the letters to Moscow with no copies on file." "From all of that we derive a sad but an indestructible conclusion, ...that the gang of hypnotists was able to hypnotise across a large distance." "On a huge distance and not only individuals but groups of people." "Under such circumstances they could drive mad people with rather firm psyche." "Among such people is a professor of the Institute of History and Philosophy and in the past a well known poet Ivan Nikolayevich Fonarev-Bezdomny." "He was cured after much effort by the professor Stravitsky of the Institute of Experimental Psychiatry." "In light of this, a deck of cards in someone's pocket in positively nothing to speak of!" "Disappeared dresses, meowing berets and similar tricks can be done routinely by any professional hypnotist of medium strength on any stage." "Among such trivial tricks are the severed head of the announcer," "...meowing hat and the talking cat." "Any ventriloquist with basic skills can show the public a cat like that." "One can hardly doubt that Korovyev's art went much farther than basic skills." "I thank you comrades, for the applause." "This, I think, concludes our conference." " Goddess..." "Goddess... lam such an idiot..." " Another victim of the Moon." "Another victim, like myself." " What an idiot why?" "Why did I not go with her?" "Got scared, old ass?" "Got a certificate..." "Now live with it, old imbecile." " Nikolay Ivanovich?" "What are these fantasies?" "You'll catch malaria!" "Come, let us drink tea." "Fresh air, I am getting fresh air, dear." "Such wonderful air tonight." " Oh, gods..." "What vulgar execution!" "Tell me, it did not happen, did it?" "I beg you, tell, did it happen?" " Of course not." "You had a false vision." " Can you swear it was?" " I swear..." " I need nothing else." " That was the end, then?" " It was, pupil." " Of course it was." "It all ended." "As everything ends." "I will kiss you on the forehead, ...and no one will disturb you until the next full moon." "Neither the vicious killer Gesta, ...nor the cruel 5th procurator of Judaea Rider Pontius Pilate." " The articles wouldn't stop appearing." "At first I was laughing." "The more there were, the more serious was my attitude toward them." "Then came the period of fear." "The minute I turned lights out before going to bed, ...I was imagining that through the closed window" "...enters some type of an octopus with its long cold tentacles." "I started fearing dark places." "I became mentally ill." " Forgive me..." " For what?" "For convincing you to publish a fragment." "Leave everything." "Go South to Black Sea resort." "Spend all the money you have left." "Do you hear me?" " Fine, I will buy a ticket tomorrow." " I will you a ticket myself." "Why so much?" " I am afraid of thieves." "Keep until you leave." "It would be easier to die than to leave you like this." "I am expected elsewhere." "I am yielding to the necessity." "I will be back tomorrow." "I beg you, do not be afraid of anything!" " You..." "You..." " God, how could you?" "!" "lam ill. lam scared." " I will cure you, I will!" "You will recreate the novel." "Why, 0 why did I not keep a copy?" "This is how one pays for the lies." "I don't want to lie anymore." "I would have stayed with you now, ...but I don't want my husband to remember me having ran off from him into the night." "I will speak with him in the morning." "I will tell him that I love another man and will return to stay forever." "Could it be that you don't want this to happen?" " Poor, poor little you." "I will be having misfortunes." "I don't want you to go through this with me." " Is it the only reason?" " The only reason." " I am willing to die with you." "I will be here in the morning." "The last thing that I remember in this life, ...is the strip of light coming from the door." "A curl of her hair in this light her eyes full of determination." "I remember the black silhouette On the door step and the white parcel." "Fifteen minutes after she left, ...I was arrested." " How did you find yourself here?" " In the middle of January, ...I was wearing the same coat" "...that by that time had no buttons..." " You, crazy!" "Where are you going?" " The driver took pity in me." "To my surprise the car was headed here." "I lost two toes on one foot to frostbite but that was cured." " You could have let her know." "She has also kept your money." "Doubtless, she has kept it well." " Of course." "But you do not understand." "Imagine that she gets a letter from an asylum one can't send letters with an address like this.." "Psychiatric case..." "You are joking, my friend." "To make her miserable I could not do that." "I do hope, however, that she has not forgotten me." " You could be cured, perhaps." " My case is hopeless." "I do feel much better, though." "It is the fourth month that I am in the hospital and I find that it is not too bad here." "You have to keep you plans modest, neighbor." "I, for instance, wanted to travel around the globe." "Apparently, this isn't written in my fate." "lam but a tiny part of this globe." "This place is not the best part of this world." "But I do repeat," "...it isn't the worst." "The summer is approaching." "The ivy will be curling soon." "The keys have expanded my reach." "The moon will be lighting up nights." "She left..." "It is getting colder." "The night is coming to an end." "I have to go." " Tell me, ...what happened with Yeshua and Ponitus Pilate?" "I beg you, I have to know!" "Ah, no" " I cannot think about my book without shaking." "And what about your friend from the Patriarch's Ponds." "He would have done it much better than I.." "I thank you for the conversation." "Good bye." "Yeshua, I am saving you from suffering and am leaving with you." "I am Matvey, your faithful and only follower!" " Prohibited." "Get back, I said." " Oh, God, I am late..." "What a fool I am..." "Mindless woman and coward." "Dog's meat I am, not a man." "God, why are you angry with him?" "Grant him the death." "I curse you, God!" "You are deaf!" "If you weren't deaf, you would have heard me and would have killed him instantly!" "You are not the omnipotent God!" "You are the dark God, I curse you!" "The God of robbers and the keeper of their souls!" " Yeshua Ha-Notsri, do you hear me?" " What do you want?" "Why have you come to me?" " Drink." " Injustice..." "let me have a drink too." "He is no less a criminal than I am." " Silence, cross two." " Let him have a drink..." "Sing glory to the mighty Hegemon." " Hegemon..." " Dead." " Remove the chain!" "Why don't you look me in the eye when serving?" "Have you stolen from me?" "Get out of my eye!" "Darkness that came from the Mediterranean, ...Has covered the city so hated by the procurator." "Yerushalairn has vanished, as if the great city has never existed." "Yes, oh yes, the same mistake." "Why have I left him that night?" "Why?" "This is madness..." "Yes, I came back." "Like the miserable Levy Matvey - too late." "Margarita Nikolayevna, what should I cook for second serving?" "My husband is away for three more days, while I don't care." "Yesterday a magician at the theater was showing such trick that everyone was breathless." "Everyone has received two vials of foreign-made perfume and stockings, all free of charge." "But afterwards when the show was over, the public came out into the street and found themselves stark naked!" " Natasha, aren't you ashamed?" "You are an intelligent and studied girl." "They will say any devilish nonsense in the market, and you should not repeat such things." "They are not lying, Margarita Nikolayevna!" "Last night the police have arrested one hundred people." "Ladies were running in the Tverskaya Street dressed in underpants." " I'd like to show you a trick myself." "Take this." "I only ask that you not run down Tverskaya Street in your stockings and stop listening to silly conversations in the grocery stores." " Thank you." "NKVD!" "." "Nearby" "Variety Theater staff, all gather in the office." " Yes, Sir." " Ace, go to work!" "Ace, sniff!" "Search." "Ace, search!" "Get to work!" "Search, Ace!" "Search, Ace!" "Back off, Ace!" " Well..." "Lastochkin, the accountant." "What is the name of the magician?" " Woland, I think." "Although I am not sure." "Could be Faund." "Courier Karpov, were there any posters for the show?" " Yes, there were." "They were all posted over at night, so now there aren't any." "Bookkeeper, where did the magician come from?" " Who knows..." "You must have agreed the contract with him, then" " One might assume..." "Well, if there was a contract, it must have passed through the accounting department." " It is a must." " Well, where is it?" "It isn't here." "All free to go, except book keeper." "Lastochkin." "I have to deposit the money from last night." " The assistant will do it." " Come." " Do you know, Bassoon, ...that this building, other things noted,.." "...is famous for its pillars in the front entryway." " Let us go!" " Attention, comrades, attention!" "Collectivism is the basis of our life." "We have organized reading groups to study Lermontov, ...a group for chess and checkers, table tennis, and horseback riding." "...However, these groups have not embraced the entire tenant community that differs too widely in its interests." "In the summer, as agreed, we planning ...a rowing class to meet on fresh waters ...and an alpine climbing class." "But even these will not embrace all of us." "Allow me to introduce to you comrade Korovyev... who is a notable organizer of choral societies." " Comrades!" "lam telling you, I swear, that singing takes up very little time ...yet is useful by the truckload." " Be cheerful and sign up at once." " La-la-la..." " Get lost!" "Citizen, you should not be yelling 'get lost'to your customers." "Where are you going?" "Have you lost your mind?" "!" " Entering without report?" "!" " I have a little business to talk about." " I am busy." " No you aren't." " What is this?" "Take him away!" "I'll be damned!" " Damned?" "That could be arranged..." " Is the car available?" " Show me the money." " Here, ...ten rubles." " No, I won't take you." " Pardon me..." " Do you have three ruble bills?" "Have a sit." "Let's go, damn it..." " Why you have no change?" " Full pockets." "It is the third time with me just today, and others had it happen, too." "Some bastard gave me a ten." "I gave him 4.50 in change." "The asshole gets off." "Five minutes later instead of a ten I have a sticker off a soda bottle." "God damn it!" "The other on Zubovskaya." "Gives me a ten." "I give him 3 rubles in change." "He gets off." "I put my hand into the wallet and stung by a bee!" "While the ten ruble bill is gone." "Last night at the Variety Theater some snake of magician gave a show with ten ruble bills, son of a bitch!" " So long." " Take it easy." "Not here, there is no one here!" "The pants and the jacket are here, but no one on them!" " Thank God!" "Someone brave at last." "Everyone is gone!" "Traitors!" "They are all traitors, do you understand?" "Let us go see him, I have no idea what could be done, understand?" "I have no idea..." "What is your business?" "Didn't you see the writing on the door, no admission." " Do see this?" "Do you?" "He is not there!" "Bring him back, please." "I always stopped him when he was swearing 'devil this, devil that'." "Well, here is the result..." "Prosha, where are you?" " Who are you calling Prosha?" "He doesn't recognize, he doesn't know me." "Do you see?" "I would ask you to stop whaling in the office." "I cannot..." "I cannot be looking at this." "I cannot!" "." " Stop crying, citizen." "Do you hear this?" "They are singing against their will?" " I hear." " We sort this out..." "Do you see?" "We'll help, we'll help." "Doctor, you must do something, I am begging you" "You must control yourself." "Stop singing." "Take this." "Hei, Barguzin, move the wheel!" "." "The brave fellow is near!" "Comrade policeman, today we have a case of mass hypnosis!" " Where is my carpetbag?" "Relax." "Get up." "Comrades, follow me to the exit." "Right after me, comrades, do not push each other, come toward the exit." "Please, come orderly toward the exit" " May I have a deposit slip." "What for?" " I need to deposit cash." "I am from the Variety Theater" " How much do you have?" "21,711 rubles." " Wow!" "He is one of them jokers from the Variety." " I am, well..." " You are under arrest." "Hei, Barguzin, move the wheel!" "." "The brave fellow is near!" "Let us go, come on." "Take a right into the side street, best way to the psychiatric unit." " Went on tour, out of the city." " There is no head..." " No head, no head!" "Where is the head, there is no head!" "Police!" " Good day!" "May I speak with the chairman of the cooperative Mr. Bosoy?" " The chairman is away..." "Is he is his apartment?" "I have an extremely urgent business with him." "When will he be back?" "What about the secretary Mr. Prolezhnev?" "Same thing, the secretary is away and it is unknown when he will return the secretary is ill." "Is anyone available from the management?" " I an." " You see, ...I am the only heir of the late Mr. Berlioz, ...my nephew has been killed," "...a you well know, at the Patriarch's Ponds." "And so it is my obligation under the law ...t accept the inheritance situated in the apartment number 50." " I wouldn't know about it, comrade." "Forgive me, but aren't you on the management committee?" "It your obligation, according to the law..." "Are you Mr. Pyatnashka, a member of the management committee?" " I am..." "You are under arrest." "Another complication..." "Did it have to happen that all three of them at once..." " Good day." "My name is Poplavskiy." "I am the uncle of the late Mr. Berlioz." " But of course, of course!" "I understood that it is you the second I set my sights on you." "Terrible news!" "." "What are they doing!" "." " Killed by a tram..." " It was cut off completely!" "I personally have witnessed it, with these very eyes..." "Believe it or not, wham!" " and his head went." "Crack!" " and the right leg broke in half." "Crack, and the left leg went." "What are these trams doing?" "." "Forgive me, you were a friend of my Misha." "L can't bear it, no." "I shall have to drink three hundred drops of the Valerian root extraction." "I cannot take it, no, I cannot!" "To think how the wheels broke his leg - crack!" "Each wheel must weigh at least four hundred pounds!" "I must go lay down." "I need some sleep." "Excuse me, but did you send me the telegram?" " He did." " Yes, I did, so what?" "I am asking you, so what?" "Give me your passport!" "Which police precinct you this passport?" "412?" "Of course, I know that precinct very well." "They issue passports to all kinds of rascals." "I personally would never give passports to the likes of you." "Never, at no cost!" "I would take but one look at your face and refuse you flatly." "Your presence at the funeral is no longer desired." "Make sure to leave to your place of residence." "Azazello!" " Coming..." " Hello." " Poplavskiy!" "You got it, didn't you?" "You go back to Kiiv and be quiet like you don't exist." "And forget about apartments in Moscow or dreaming about them, am I clear?" "Poplaskiy, you alive?" "Pardon me, comrade, let me inquire where is Apartment 50?" " Further up." " infinitely grateful, comrade." "What is it?" " Well, since you rang, come in." "Hello, yes, how?" "Baron Meigel?" "May I help you?" " What filth." " ..." "The Artist is home today." "Yes, will be happy to see you." "Yes, visitors" "Tails tuxedo or black jacket." "What?" "By midnight." "What is it?" " I must see the Artist." " No kidding, the Artist himself?" " Yes..." " Step into the living room." " My God..." "The mother of all!" "." " Well." "How can I help you?" "I am the manager of the food stand at the Variety Theater..." " Stop right there!" "Not another word." "Never and under no circumstances will I take another bite at your establishment." "I, my dearest, was passing by your stand yesterday, and am still not able to erase from memory the sturgeon, nor the feta cheese." "My darling!" "Feta should not be green." "You have deceived, feta must be white!" "What about your tea!" "It is nothing but pig's wash!" "I saw with my own eyes that some sloppy girl was ...adding water from a bucket into your huge samovar..." "Fresh unboiled water!" "While the tea kept being served." "No, my esteemed friend, that is not tolerable." " Excuse me, this is not why I am here." "The sturgeon is not it, either." " How could it not be it, if it is spoiled?" "We got sturgeon of the 2nd degree of freshness." "2nd degree of freshness is nonsense!" "Freshness comes in one variety, first which also happens to the last." "Whenever sturgeon is of the 2nd freshness, it is rotten." " This is not my business here." " It is not?" " No." "What other business might you have, then?" "lam glad, though." "Bassoon!" "A stool for the Mr. Manager of the food stand." " Please." " Thank you kindly." " Not at all." "Ouch, ay-ay!" " You weren't hurt, were you?" "I like sitting low, it is less hazardous in case of a fall." "Take off your pants, you can dry them by the fire." " Many thanks, but no." " Have a sit on this one." " Where were we, the sturgeon?" "My dear man, freshness, freshness, and freshness that is what should be the food worker's slogan" "Would you care to try some of this?" " With all due gratitude, I wouldn't..." " Non-no, have some." " With all due..." "Try some, please do." " A goblet of wine?" "White, red?" "What region do you prefer this time of day?" " Respectfully..." "I don't drink." " You should..." "Perhaps a game of dice?" "Or if there is another game to your liking...?" "Domino, or cards?" " I don't gamble..." " This is very unfortunate." " Why?" "There is something evil, if you will, about men ...that are avoiding wine, games, the company of pretty women, ...conversation over a meal..." "Such people are either very ill, or secretly despise those around them." "In any case..." "What business brought you here." "Yesterday, you were performing tricks." " I?" "Why would I!" "It wouldn't suit me, if I may say so." " I am sorry, but the black magic show" " Oh, that, yes, yes..." "I will tell you a secret, my friend." "I am no performer." " How so?" "I just wanted to look at the Muscovites en masse." "Theater is the best place to it and so my entourage..." " Good to see you!" " ...has arranged for this show." "I was there watching, that is all." "Don't worry, you have such a face!" "What is the connection of the show and you visit?" " You see, among other things, the money fell from the ceiling." "Everyone has grabbed it." " Everyone has, so?" " A young man comes to the stand..." " Yes, a young man does." " ...and gives me a ten." " A ten?" " Yes." "I give him change, eight and a half." " Eight and a half?" " ..." "Then another man..." " A young man as well?" "No, an older one.Then another and yet another." "I keep giving change..." "Today I checked the register, ...and found paper sheets where money has been." "The food stand is short 109 rubles." " Ay-ay-ay!" "." "How could they think that the money is real?" "I would not allow myself the thought of their dishonesty..." "Could there be swindlers?" "Could there be swindlers among Muscovites?" "That is so low!" "You, being a poor man..." "You are poor, aren't you?" "How much savings do you have?" "249,000 rubles in five savings banks plus another 200 gold coins under the floor." " It isn't so much, of course, ...But should be sufficient if the lifestyle is modest." "You would not need it anyway." "When will you die?" " That no one knows." "And n one should be concerned with." " Not so unknown!" "This is no high science." "He'll be dying in nine months, next February, from a liver cancer at the 1st Moscow University Clinic, ...room 4." "240 times 9 thousand, for 9 months, comes to 27 thousand per month." "Not much, but should suffice, if one exercises restraint..." "And then there are the coins." " No-no, the gold will not be sold:" "...right after the death of Andrey Fokich the house will be demolished, ...and the gold will be taken to the State Bank." "L would advise you not to bother going into the hospital, what is the point to be dying in a hospital bed, among the wheezing breath and the groans of the hopelessly sick?" "Would it not be better to use the 27 thousand and throw a feast and then to take a poison and go to the next world while listening to the music of strings," "...being surrounded by the drunk and beautiful women and the dashing friends?" "We have been carried away, though." " Where are your paper sheets?" " One moment..." "Ten ruble bills...!" " My dear, you truly are no well." "Had too much." " That's mine." " What if they turn again?" " Come see us then." "Glad to meet you, come back anytime" " What else you want?" " I left my hat." " This isn't mine." " You came without a sword?" "The Variety Theater courier Karpov has testified that the wanted magician lived in Apt." "50." "It shall also be noted that officially Apt." "50 is occupied by the director of Variety Theater, the now disappeared Likhodeyev and by the chairman of Writers Union Berlioz, ...who has been killed by a streetcar under very suspicious circumstances." "Today bold crime at the Writers Union is also connected with that death." "Apartment 50 was checked multiple times, but the results were negative." "There was nothing found in the apartment during those visits." "In the meanwhile today's theft of the head tells us that the gang is in Moscow and is becoming more active." "In the end we have something outrageous." "Thousands of people, the entire Variety Theater have seen this magician, ...as well as his damned assistants, ...while there is no way we can find him." "Where has he gone, you say, fell through the ground?" "Did he not come to Moscow at all?" " The only thread is agent Meigel." "He has agreed by telephone to meet this magician." "Send telegrams with the descriptions of the criminals as well as the missing Likhodeyev, Rimskiy and Varenuha." "Interrogate everyone again!" "Have the building covered." "Cut the front and the back entrances into the yard." "Place people on the roof behind the pipes." "As to the agent Meigel, the former Baron I will take care of him myself." " Arkadiy Appolonovich is not well." "He has reclined and cannot come to the phone." "Who is asking?" "Just this very second, yes, momentarily." " NKVD!" " Yes, this is me." "Yes, yes." " Put on your shoe!" "You'll catch a cold!" "Put on the shoe, your feet will be cold." "Yes, of course." "I understand." "On my way." "Yes." " Well, Prokhor Petrovich, ...who is Woland, and how did he use your help to get to the Variety Theater?" "I swear, I know no such person named Woland." "The missing Mr. Likhodeyev had to send to you the program for sing-off?" "L swear to God, no program of the show and no Woland were sent to me for approval by Styopa Likhodeyev," "...while I made no calls concerning the arrival of anyone named Woland." "It completely evades me, ...how Likhodeyev could allow such a performance at the Variety." " Are these your approvals?" " Yes, these are..." "Mine." "But I don't remember..." "My suit was without me." " Of course you remember!" "Where is Sempliyarov." " Come in!" "This is the longest and most unpleasant conversation, ...but I have to state with all frankness, ...Melitsa Andreyevna Pokobatko, the actress..." " We will get to her later." "...Melitsa Andreyevna Pokobatko, the actress..." " We will get to her later." "Now you must tell us about the black magic show at the Variety." "Being a cultured intellectual that has witnessed an ugly performance, ...I wish to describe the mysterious magician in a mask, namely Woland and the duo of his assistants, whom I remember perfectly." "What is your opinion, Prokhor Petrovich?" " Second floor, comrades." " Room 12." "Open up, Rimskiy, we know you are there." " Check it." " Yes." "Here." " A-a-a!" " You are under arrest." "Hide me in a bullet proof camera and give me armed protection." "Hide me in a bullet proof camera and give me armed protection." "L wonder who are they burying with such unusual expressions on their faces?" "Mikhail Aleksandrovich Berlioz, the chairman of the Writers Union." "Their mood is also unusual, they are carrying the dead body, ...while their thoughts are about the missing head?" " What head?" "You see, this morning in the Griboyedov hall the dead men's head was stolen from the coffin." " How could it be?" " Devil knows!" "We should ask Begemot about it." "It was stolen with terrifying artfulness." "The main question is who would need the head of Berlioz." " Then the people walking... behind the coffin are writers?" " Yes they are." " Do you know them by face?" " All of them." "Tell me, do you see the critic Latunskiy among them?" "Of course, where else would he be?" "He is in the first row off to the side, do you see him?" "Eyes to the sky." "Margarita Nikolayevna, you hate this Latunskiy, don't you." "Margarita Nikolayevna, you hate this Latunskiy, don't you." " Do you know me?" "I don't." " Where would I know you from?" "And yet I've been sent to you." " Am I being arrested?" "Why would you say that?" "I am starting a conversation, why does it have to be about arresting someone." "Simply, ...I have a business with you." " What business?" " I have been sent ...to invite you to visit someone tonight a very important foreigner at that." "Is this a new breed of pimp that has emerged, a street one?" " Idiot!" " Scoundrel!" "Darkness that has come from the Mediterranean, ...has cover the city, so hated by the Procurator." "Yerushalairn has disappeared, ...as if it never existed in this world." "And so should you disappear with your burned notebook and the dried rose." "Keep sitting here and begging him to let go of you, give you freedom ...and let you breathe, leave your memory." "You could have found out about the pages, have you bribed Natasha?" "You could have found out about the pages, have you bribed Natasha?" "But how did you know my thoughts?" "Who are you?" "What department are you with?" " Oh, boredom!" "I am not from any department." "My name is Azazello." "What does my name tell you." " But you know about him?" "I beg you, tell me, is he alive?" "Don't torture me!" " He is alive, yes." " God!" " Please!" "No exclamations and unnecessary worrying." " Fine..." "Forgive me..." " I am inviting you to visit a foreigner that is completely harmless." "No living soul will know about the visit, I promise." "If I understood you, you are hinting that I may find some information about him?" " I am coming, no matter where." " How difficult are women." "Why did I have to go?" "Begemot would have done the job, he is a charmer, ...while I am here trying to convince you for a half-hour." "So are you coming?" " I am." " Then take this." "It will serve you well, Margarita Nikolayevna." "You aged from sorrow in the past six months.." "Tonight at half past ten undress completely and apply ...this ointment on you face and entire body." "The do as you wish, but expect a phone call!" "At ten sharp I will call you and give you all the details!" "Are you clear?" "'Yes." "This is pure gold, I can tell by the weight." "Well I realize that I am being paid off and and dragged into a dirty intrigue for which I will..." " There you start again..." "Give me the ointment!" " No, wait!" " Give it back!" " I know what I am doing." "But I am doing it for him, but I am doing it for him, ...for I have no other hope in the world." "All I want you to know:" "...that if I perish, you will be ashamed." "Yes, ashamed." "For it is love that I will perish for." "'Ha!" " Some ointment!" "Forgive me and forget." "I am leaving you forever." "Don't look for me, it is futile." "I am a witch now I became one from the OT misfortunes and the sorrow that have plagued me." "...I became one from the OT misfortunes and the sorrow that have plagued me." "I must go now." "Farewell, Margarita." " How do you..." "How can you..." "How do you do this, Margarita Nikolayevna?" " It is the cream!" "Cream!" "Cream!" "Drop it!" "Drop all of it!" "The hell with dresses!" "Although, take them." "Take them for souvenir!" "Take all you can in this room!" "Azazello will call soon." "Oh, yes, he will call!" "The foreigner is harmless, now I understand that." "This is the neighbor from downstairs." "Good evening, Nikolay Ivanovich." "Are you back from the meeting?" "lam here all alone, listening to the waltz and looking at the moon." "Nikolay Ivanovich, this isn't polite." "lam a lady, after all." "It is rude not to respond when spoken to." "You are such a bore, Nikolay Ivanovich." "lam so sick of all of you that I can't even express it!" "Damn you, go to the mother of all devils!" "Azazello here." " Dear, kind Azazello." "It is time, fly over." "When passing over the gate, shout "Invisible"" "then fly over the city to get used to it and then out of the city, to the river." "You are expected." "Farewell, Nikolay Ivanovich!" "Adieu, I am gone forever!" "I am flying away!" "Adieu, Natasha!" " Margarita Nikolayevna..." " Invisible!" "And free!" "You should be turning the bathroom lights of after use, Pelageya Ivanovna." "You should be turning the bathroom lights of after use, Pelageya Ivanovna." "Otherwise we will ask for your removal from the flat." "You are a fruit yourself!" " You are all fruits!" "Khusov, Dvubratksiy, Kvant, Latunskiy..." "Latunskiy?" "!" "Latunskiy!" "This is him!" "He has destroyed the Master!" "Open up!" "Dusya, get the door!" " No need to wait." "Open up!" "Dusya, open the door." "Mother of mine!" " Natasha!" "You used the ointment?" "My dear queen, the Queen of France!" "I have put some on his, ...bald head." "This is so wonderful!" "I confess, I took the cream." "We want to fly, to live and fly!" "This is so good!" "Wonderful, Margarita Nikolayevna." "He was making me a proposal." "Well?" "Say it again, what was the offer?" "How did you call me?" "Who am I?" "Who?" " Goddess!" "I cannot fly this fast." "I have important papers that I may loose." "Natalia Prokofievna, I protest!" "What were you promising?" "What were you offering?" "How much money were you ready to pay?" "You won't say now that I am lying, will you?" "I demand to be returned to my old self." "Margarita Nikolayevna, you have to reason with your homemaker!" " So, now I am the homemaker?" "!" "I was a goddess just a short while ago!" "Faster, step on it!" " I protest!" "lam not going to an illegal gathering!" " What is it?" "Is that her?" "Clodine!" "You are here, 0 merry widow?" " Go to the mother of hell!" "Who are calling Clodine." " I am sorry, please forgive my blunder." "My mistake o lucent Queen Margo." "The damned cognac is to blame." "Put on some pants, you son of a bitch." " Welcome oh queen." "Good evening" " Welcome, oh lucent Queen Margo." " Welcome." " Please..." "Drink this..." "Drink, Queen." "Speaks Latin" "Initiated, initiated" " What was your transport to this river?" " The broom." " Such inconvenience." "Well, yes." " Send a car immediately." "Please." "Queen..." "Good bye!" " My deep regards, Queen." " Greetings, Azazello." " Please." " Thank you." " Ste here, please." "Come." " Allow me to introduce myself Korovyev." "Follow me, mistress.." "Please." "Now the business of the night:" "...no doubt you have understood, Margarita Nikolayevna, an intelligent woman that you are, ...who is our host.." "And so, each year Messier throws a ball in different cities of the world." "It is called ...the Spring Midnight Ball or the Ball of One Hundred Kings." "The festivity need a hostess." "According to tradition, the hostess is always a Margarita." "That is one." "Two: she has to be a local." "We found one hundred twenty one Margarita in Moscow ...and none of them are befitting the occasion." "Now, in short." "Would you be willing to accept this responsibility?" " I would not refuse." " I thought so." "Please." "Oh, this?" "These are simply the efforts of Begemot, do not be alarmed." "The ball will be spectacular, I could not hide this from you." "We shall see people whose power was enormous in their time, ...but you are a royal descendant yourself." " Why royal?" "Queen, queens." "The matters of blood are most complex." "It would not be inappropriate to mention a deck of cards." "A hint: one queen of France, ...would be surprised beyond limit, ...if someone told her that her great-great-great-granddaughter, ...will be lead by me in Moscow through the ballrooms." "We have arrived." " Greetings, Queen." "I ask you to forgive my domestic outfit." "Come out, the game is canceled, our guest is here." " Under no circumstances..." " Please don not, Messier." "Do not stop the game." "I am sure that chess magazines would pay significant amounts, ...if they could print your game." " Korovyev is right." "The blood is traced in peculiar ways." "The blood..." "Since you are so disarmingly polite, which does not surprise me in the least, ...we shall proceed informally." "Devil, this is so dark in here." "Will this circus under the bed last much longer?" "Come out, curse on you, Begemot!" "Where is the damned horse?" "If you do not come out, we will take this as your loss." "Damned deserter." " Never, Messier!" " What is this..." "The hell you need a necktie for, if you have no pants on you?" " Cats need no trousers, Messier." "But neckties are a must in a Ball?" " Allow me, ...Donna, to introduce my entourage." "This foolish fellow, ...is Begemot, the cat." "Hello." "You have already met Azazello and Korovyev." "My servant Gella, whom I recommend is fast in action and in thought and will do any service she is asked for." "That is all." "Not much of a company." "A simple mixture." "It is time, Gella.." " What about me?" "I have a pain in my leg, and the Ball is here..." " Allow me?" "Those close to me think this is rheumatism, ...yet I am certain that this pain in the knee I got from a beautiful witch," "...I intimately knew in 1571." "Nonsense, this will go away in another 300 years." "You aren't tormented by anything, are you?" "Some sadness, perhaps?" "A sorrow that is poisoning your soul, hmm?" " Not at all, Messier." "Now that I am with you, I feel wonderful." " The blood, a real force..." " It is almost midnight, Messier." " Very well." "Please." "I thank you in advance." "Do not be scared, and do not feel lost." "Drink nothing but water, otherwise it will be more difficult for you." "It is time." " Come, Queen." "It is fine, no problem." "Nothing you can do." "Oops!" "You have to, have to..." " Patience, patience, Crystal Donna." "These were made for a Chinese Princess." " Perhaps, you want to withdraw?" " Of course not." "I can take this." " The Ball!" " Who is conducting?" " Johann Strauss!" "Let me be hanged by the neck on a liana in a tropical garden, ...if any ball had an orchestra like this." "They all are world famous celebrities." "I invited them!" "Note that no one got ill or otherwise refused." " Greetings, King of Waltz!" " Time to meet the guests, Queen.." " Here." " What happened?" " Nothing..." " Please." " Where are the guests?" "They will be here, Queen." "No shortage of them." "I would rather be chopping wood, ...than greeting them here on this site." "L would be ready to do worse than chopping wood." "I would rather check tickets on a tram, ...the worst job in the world." "Allow me, Queen, to give you one last advice..." "The guests will differ widely, ...but no one should be treated better than all others." "Anything, Queen, but lack of attention." "They get sick from inattention." " Precisely." "Here are the first guests!" "Messier Jack with his spouse." "Highly recommended, Queen, an interesting man." "A forger, state criminal, bastard." "Yet a good alchemist." "In his moment of fame he has poisoned king's mistress." "No everyone can claim such an achievement." " Queen..." " Queen is delighted." " I am delighted!" " Count Robert, handsome as always." "The opposite case, Queen, funny as it may be." "He was queens lover and has poisoned his own wife." "You majesty..." " We are glad, Count!" "Oh!" "The charming and important Lady Tofana." "She was extremely popular among the young and beautiful Neapolitan women, ...that were tired of their husbands.." "It happens, doesn't it, that a husband is bothersome?" "Charming..." "We are thrilled." "And so, Lady Tofana was quite understanding of these poor women... .and was selling them some water in vials." "The wife would add this water into the husband's soup, ...and in the morning the beauty was free as the wind in the Spring." "See the Spanish Boot on her leg?" "The band was used by the hot-headed jail guards, who suffocated her." "I am happy, Dark Queen, I am so honored..." " Delighted." "We are delighted." " Oh, Frieda, she is a tiresome woman.." "She wants to complain about her handkerchief." "Her maid puts handkerchief on her nightstand every evening for thirty years now." "She wakes up, and the handkerchief is there." "She burned it, threw it in the river, ...nothing helps." " What handkerchief?" " A simple one, with a blue edge." "She worked in a cafn." "The owner called her once into the pantry ...and nine months later she gave birth to a boy." "She took him to the forest, put the handkerchief in his mouth, ...and buried him alive." "In the court she said that she could not feed the baby." "Delighted!" " Where is the owner of the cafe?" "." " May I ask you, Queen?" "What does the owner have to do with this?" "It was not him killing the child." "If you cut into the conversation again, you bastard..." " I meant from legal position, legal!" "I am mute, no more sounds." "Please let go of my ear!" " Frieda, my name is Frieda, Queen..." "Get drunk tonight, Frieda, and have no thoughts." " Frieda..." " Let go, she is delighted." "The Queen is delighted." "I bow..." "We are thrilled" " My Queen..." " I am delighted!" " I am delighted!" "We are delighted!" "The Queen is delighted!" "Queen, a moment of your attention." "Emperor Rudolf, alchemist and magician." "Oh, Marquise!" "Poisoned her father, two brothers and two sisters over inheritance." " Goddess..." " We are enchanted!" "Very pleasant." " Ms. Miknina, so beautiful!" "Some nervousness there, but who asked her to burn the maid's face with curling irons!" "Of course one will be slaughtered with such behavior." "The Queen is thrilled." "I am sorry, are you in pain?" "Of course not." "We are delighted, delighted!" " Here she is!" "She had such a brothel in Strasburg!" "Delighted!" "Amazing!" "This twenty year old fellow had strange fantasies since early childhood." "Dreamer and weirdo." "One young girl fell in love with him, and he has sold her into a brothel." "Delighted So glad to see you." "She is a tailor form Moscow, we all like her for her flight of imagination.." "She had a tailor shop and has done a funny thing: she made two holes through the wall..." " Did the ladies not know..." " They all knew." "Delighted!" "Good evening" "Baron, we are waiting for you with some news." "Delighted" "I am so happy" "Oh, Guy Ceasar Caligula and Messalina." "The wonderful one" "Just a bit more, Queen,just a little more..." "The Queen is thrilled." " I am thrilled!" "Queen, I swear these are the last moments." " You r Majesty..." "Oh, the party goers from Broken." "They always come last." "Yes, the two drunk vampires." "That should be all." "No-no, you must stay in the ballroom a bit more, Queen Margo.." " You must stay a little so the guests do not feel abandoned." " Frieda..." "Frieda, my name is Frieda, Queen!" " Later, dear, later..." "Queen..." "Frieda, Frieda, my name is Frieda, Queen, Frieda!" " Aren't you tired?" " Of course not." " Careful." "Last round, Queen." "And we are free to go.." "Mikhail Aleksandrovich, it all happened as foretold, didn't it?" "The head was cut by a woman, the meeting did not take place, ...and I am staying in your apartment." "This is a fact." "Facts are stubborn little things." "What is of interest now is what will happen next.." "You were always the passionate supporter of the theory, ...that human life is gone once head is severed from the body ...and that a man turns into ashes and is gone into the emptiness." "I am please to tell you in front of my guests, ...although they are proof of a very different theory, ...that your theory is solid and witty." "All theories are of the same value, though." "One of the theories states, ...that each will receive according to his faith." "Let is be!" "You will go into the emptiness." "While I will have the pleasure of drinking for being, ...from the goblet that you will become." "Where is the Baron?" "He will come before you momentarily, Messier." "I hear in this dead silence the sound of his lacquered shoes, ...he puts his glass on the table," "...the glass from which he drank his life's last drop of champagne." "Here he comes." "I am happy to present the esteemed Baron Meigel!" "The Baron works in the entertainment committee as a as foreigner's guide to the capital's treasures." "The dearest Baron was kind enough ...to call me straight upon my arrival in Moscow," "...and to offer his services in his direct capacity, ...of the treasures guide." "Naturally, I was delighted to invite him for a visit." "By the way, Baron we have heard rumors about your extraordinary curiosity." "Further more the word was mentioned of you being a whistle blower ...and a spy." "Even more significantly suggestions were made that an ending of this may be sad for you in about one month." "And so we have decided to spare you the stressful wait and help you, ...particularly since you have, ...wanted to visit with the precise purpose to look and listen." " To you, ladies and gentlemen!" " Drink!" " Don't worry, Queen." "The blood has gone into the earth, ...and grapes have grown where it was spilled." " Drink!"