"IRINA PALM by Sam Garbarski" "Mom, it's a bit..." "Yeah, I know, it's a lovely lion that want to ruffle." "Come on, let's go." "We'll be late." "Alright." " Nana!" " Hi, Olly!" "Hi Dad!" " Who's my boy?" " Me!" " Maggie, you shouldn't have." " Well " "Did you bring any water?" "Sarah, don't, just..." "But the water's fouled here." "Please!" "I just forgot." "Here." "Thanks." "Look, how nice you have done it!" "Sold it for nothing." "All these treatments and Olly's still ill." "We would never forgive ourselves if we hadn't tried everything." "Anyway I don't regret a thing." "I'd sell up again tomorrow." "Why do you still come here?" "Jane's not all bad." "Here's been something to do, I suppose." "It takes my mind off things." "Anyway, thanks." "I couldn't resist." "Oh, Jane." "You shouldn't have." "Boys love that kind of thing." "Now, listen, Beth and Julia are forging ahead." "I know things haven't been easy but I'm getting a tinsy wincy bit bored about losing." "I want to save the smell of victory just once" "I want to see these wonderful smiles wiped out their faces." "How's Olly?" "Same as..." "Oh, not really, he's " "He'll pull through Maggs." "Mr and Mrs Cubine, I've just examined Olly and Olly's condition is deteriorating." "There is a new treatment, in the Orphan Diseases' Congress in Melbourne." "I'm referring Olly's case to a specialist consultant in London." "Last throw of the dice?" "Yes." "You're in luck, they're going to take him." "You should leave as soon as possible." " Leave?" " Yes, Australia." "What?" "I assumed you knew." "It's the only place they do it." " You can't do it here?" " No." " We have to go there?" " Yes." "Who pays?" "When can we take him?" "Frankly as soon as possible." "Should he stay beyond 6 weeks or so, he'll be too weak to travel." "Who pays?" "The treatment is pro bono." "All other costs, hospital, travel" " et cetera will have to be matched." " Oh, yes." "We will find the money." "You knew " "Give it a rest, mom." "We can borrow." "We can nothing!" "Nobody will loan us any more money, the whole village have already donated." "Shut up, shut up!" " At least mom's trying to help." " Shut up!" "Hey, look, I just want to go home, okay." "Just take me home." "I can find my own way home." "It's okay." "It's... go on, go on." "You already heavily in debts, you got nothing to borrow against." "I mean you got no income, you got no savings..." "and you don't own your home anymore." "My grandson is dying." "I need money." "You have no skills, no employment history and no qualifications." "What is it that you think I can do for you?" "Look, I'm gonna be honest." "Your age is gonna be almost impossible to find you anything." "I'm sorry." "I've come about the job." "Go on, last door." "A job?" "Do you know what goes on here?" "Do you know what a hostess does?" "Sort of." "Sort of?" "What kind of sort of?" "Sort of things." "Things?" "Things like making tea and clearing up..." "those sort of things." "Here the word hostess is a euphemism." "Do you know what euphemism is?" "No." "...my lawyer explained it to me." "When you use one word for another." "For example, here, hostess means whore." "Ok." "What kind of hostess are you?" "Straight, kinky, many special tricks." "No, listen, here, Mr " "Pecklush." "If you're good and I like you, Miky." "You are not working girl." "I bet you can't even say "fuck"." "Can you?" "You're too old." "Show me your hands." "Show me your hands." "I'm not going to bite." "Give me your hands." "They're pretty." "And smooth." "Very smooth." "Many girls work here, their hands are ok, but " "I think we'll have a bit less of that " "Okay, this is the deal:" "men come here to see to touch, to be toched by women, you understand?" "Can you wank men off?" "What?" "Can you wank men off?" "What?" "Can you... wank men off?" "Hmm, yes... no, I mean, if I'm being honest it's been a long long time since I " "Pity, hands like yours are made for those sort of things." "I think I better go." "Start at £600 a week." "How much?" "If you heighten with your hands and else, £900." "What's the matter?" "Lost your husband?" "What?" "I've come about the job." "Japan." "I see them in Tokyo, bring them here." "No one else has something like this except Sexy World." "Nobody but me." "You press this button, red bump tell them you're ready." "They have 5, 6 minutes." "Any longer you press this botton and if they don't come, I come." "This is Luisa, she will show you the ropes." "Hello." "Hi." " Phone." " Yeah." "You have a whole evening." "Okay." "Time to go to work." "Sorry." "What, now?" "First, you get a good grip." "See?" "See how it stiffens." "Circumcised are so sensitive, grip tighter." "Speed is important, make sure to change, like this." "Oh, God!" "Bloody Hell!" "Oh, fuck!" "Oh, fucking!" "Do they always go on like that?" "No, only him." "Watch." "After slow, fast again." "The harder it gets, the faster you go." "Remember, you are in control." "See, it's easy." "Next time, you do." "Who?" "Me?" "Who else?" "No, no, no, no, I really can't." "Okay, if you wanna leave?" "Oh, come on, sit down." "First time is always the most embarassing, but after that you went for England." "Give me your hand." "Your hand!" "I really think" " I think you should do it just one more time." "Your hand." "Bloody hell!" "Part of the job." "No, no, I can't." "Come on." "Relax." "Up" " Relax." "Up and down, slowly." "Slowly, relax." "It's too soft." "Ha!" " Sorry!" "Relax, that's good." "Gently but firm." "That's good." "All the way along." "Yes, like that." "That's it..." "She's worth the trouble?" "It's funny." "Of course it's funny." "But is she worth it or not?" "She has a soft touch..." "It could be." "What day is it?" "Wednesday." "You've got till Friday." "Now, have you got your ticket?" "On time." "Maggie!" "Where are you off to?" "Magg, are you alright?" "Need anything?" "You can go home, now." "Hi, leave your message after the beep." "Just me, Maggs." "What's got into you?" "Julia find all the thing bizarre." "Where are you now?" "In this time of night." "Give me a call." "Soon." "Still here, where's mom?" "You should go and live with your mother." "Maggie." "Mr Pecklush." "Hey, do you need a drink, uh?" "We met when I was 17." "Trevor was older, full of himself." "I didn't know any better." "Who does, at that age?" "Ended up pregnant." "Home had nothing to offer." "So I got married." "Came down here but then I lost the baby." "Tom arrived 12 years later." "Quite a surprise to say the least." "We plodded on." "And Trevor died." "7 years ago." "Heart attack." "And just after that, Olly became ill." "And... and here I am." "The Wanky Widow." "Yes." "My husband was a pig." "He beat me." "So..." "So I left." "Bastard." "Now, one for the road?" "Yes, why not?" "Chris, two more." "Don't tell me to stop." "I promised Tom I wouldn't." "I think about stopping every day." "But then I think: screw it, I deserve all the cigarettes in the world." "Dear Mr Cooper, we regret to inform you in this occasion we are not... in a position to offer the loan as requested." "Thank you." "And..." "I'll have 5 of these, the hundred thousand ones, please." "Feeling lucky, are we?" "Oh, I thought I had more, I'm sorry, I'll have 4 of them." "Hi." "£200?" "But this isn't - You, you said " "I said monday you earn 6-8, if you work." "And don't cry." "I make the rules." "Mom?" "This time I come from the rest of the washing." "... going back to the hospital..." "You alright, mom?" "Me?" "No, I mean YES." "Why?" "Well, it's jus you haven't been to the hospital for a while and... it's not like you, that's all." "I thought maybe you were ill or something." "No, no, I'm okay." "You know me, same old me." "I'll be in tomorrow." "Promise." "Good, Olly is missing you." "Thanks mom." "How is he?" "You need to rest." "I've been turned down again." "I know." "I don't know what to think any more." "I can't... just don't know what to do anymore." "Doctor said in about 4 weeks he'll be to weak to... to to..." "I love him so much." "I really love him." "£640" "I need more." "I need " "A name." "A name you'll earn more." "Irina Palm." "I like Irina." "Where I come from there are many beautiful Irinas." "First girl I did it with, she was an Irina." "They see Irina, they think " "Some sexy young girl." "Not a middle-aged frump." "Frump?" "What is "frump"?" "Someone like me." "Dumb, middle-aged." "If you are so frumpy how can I make you Irina?" "Don't be so shy, Irina... sexy." "You can be anyone." "You know, at home you are Maggie:" "Clean, washed up, kids, all the shit, but here:" "Irina." "You like being called Suzy Lush?" "Who cares?" "Separate, always." "In the boot Suzy, at home with my child Adam, with my friends, Luisa." "Forget, shit happens." "Your round." "Been working hard?" "Are you ignoring me?" "I do think you've been just teenious but selfish, don't you?" "Sneeking off to heaven's know where." "Leaving your closest friend." "Are we in some kind of race or something?" "Maggs!" "Maggs, slow down." "Maggs!" "What" " Oh, for god's sake What's got into you?" "Maggs!" "Maggie, what's going on?" "Please Jane, I'm late." "Late?" "Late for what?" "Late for work." "Late for work?" "Oh." "You've got a job?" "What job?" "Where?" " I've got to go." " You're blushing." "I'm not." "I've got to go." "Don't follow me." "Just don't." "A job?" "A job?" "Where?" "Where indeed." "Doing what?" "She wouldn't say." "Why not?" "Maggie can't do anything, can she?" "Oh, God!" "Yes!" "£750." "What?" "Nothing." "This one." "Hi Nana!" "Look what I've found." "Lying in the street." "No, you didn't." "I can't stay long." "Why not?" "You're never here anymore." "Well, I've got things to do, Mr." "Like trying to make sure you get better." "How?" "It's a secret!" "I like secrets." "Yes, but the thing about a secret is that it has to stay a secret." "And it will be a long time before a can tell you this one." "So, remember: shh!" "It's a secret." "Maggie!" "You didn't tell us you were coming." "A flying visit, you know, to keep his chin up." "You look in a bit of a hurry." "Doing something special?" "No, not really, few things to do." "I must go." "You're good." "Thank you." "Not many women have your touch." "I tried you out." "You tried me out?" "You are so - How to say?" "When?" "Yesterday." "Of course I tried you out." "I have to know." "If I don't know how do I build your future?" "I want you to work more, longer." "Evenings." "You can became big earner." "I need £6,000." "It's not a problem with you hands." "Now, I need it now." "That's it, I have enough of this." "Where are you going?" "£6,000 is a lot!" "I don't have time to become a big earner." "Why?" "Okay, if I give you..." "If!" "What do I get?" "I'll earn £800 a week minimum." "I will work for 10 more weeks." "So you get you're £6,000 and can keep all the rest as interests." "Okay." "If you cheat me, I'll find you, and I'll kill you." "For the flights, the hotel, for the..." "well, you know, the usual." "It's enough, isn't it?" "I think I better go." "It'll be ready tomorrow." "Where did you get it?" "Always the right elbow..." "I don't know how to do it." "Where did you get the money?" "Well the stitch won't show, I hope." "Mom, this is a lot of money, where did you get it?" "Listen to me!" "This if you're gonna need it out there." "Mom, can we just stop this for a second, please, this is creepy." "I just want to know you haven't done something stupid." "No, I haven't." "Then, where did you get the money?" "I'm not telling you." "And I never will." "Why?" "Because... you've got Olly to sort out." "You've got flights to book, you've got hotels to arrange." "You're wasting time." "Okay." "No one's gonna break in." "Why don't you shout it a bit louder?" "The end of the village didn't hear you." "Do you want me to keep reading?" "Yes." "Okay." "Arks edged closer ...he saw a dark shadow in the oily water." "He looked at the shadow, something very big." "Very dangerous." ""If only we could get a closer look at it!" said Tex" "Captain Osgast: "If the water level keeps rising, he might swim up here." "and get a closer look. "" "Sorry." "Train was late." "I said I'm sorry." "Oh!" "Yes!" "Oh!" "Yes!" "Give me the shock of my life, you did." "I'm not telling you." "Not telling me what?" "Whatever it is you wanna know." "You don't know what I'm going to ask you yet." "I'm not telling you." "Why?" "What's so bad?" "I'm not in trouble if that's what you're worried about, I'm not that daft." "I'm not telling you." "Where did I put my scissors?" "You really mean it, don't you?" "You don't want me to know?" "No." "So, presumably, this is the reason why it's gonna be years before you can tell Olly your secret?" "What was that banging?" "You're crazy!" "Separate, Maggie, Separate!" "Otherwise..." "One week worked, £600 paid of debt." "9 weeks left, £5,400 still owed." "Is there anything else I need to know?" "Like what?" "Like: will you be decorating the rest of my club as well?" "Can I go now?" "Who are you?" "You noisy cow!" "What the fuck you think you're doing?" "Pervert!" "Penis Elbow." "Penis Elbow?" "Yes, tennis players get Tennis Elbow, we get Penis Elbow." "Penis Elbow." "Been busy?" "Rest it for a while." "Apply this morning and evening." "How long?" "A week, at least." "You'll need to wear this for a while, as well." "Don't take it off, even at home." "Can you work with your left hand?" "Think so." "Good." "She's that good?" "Oh, yes." "You should see the fucking queue." "Find out a bit more about her." "Don't let Miky find out." "Tea?" "No, thanks." "Just got the flights for next week on thursday." "Fine." "What's happened to your arm?" "This, nothing." "Doesn't look like nothing, you've got your arm in a sling, what happened?" "Nothing to tell, really, it's just a sprain." "Doing what?" "What were you doing?" "Just cleaning." "Really, it's nothing dramatic." "You got any bread left?" "Yes." "It's in the bin." "Thanks, mom." "You're welcome." "Give my love to Olly." "Well, fine." "Oh, been in the wars, have we?" "Not really." "Looks bad that." "Oh, no, it's - it's really nothing." "I'll have a " "Arm in a sling?" "It's nothing, really." "So, how did it happen then?" "I'll have a pint of milk, please Edith, and two scouring pads, please." " Wrenched your arm, did you?" " No." " Lifting?" " No." " Landing your bagging?" " No." "So, just how did you do it then?" "Wouldn't you like to know." "Thank you." "Luisa, what's wrong?" "Fuck off!" "Empty boot and not enough clients is very bad image." "But you can't just sack her." "I sack people every week." "But how can you?" "She's got a kid!" "People work here to make profits." "But " "Clients want you, not her." "She leaves, you stay." "It's business." "If I give up my job, will you take her back?" "How?" "You owe me." "You have 8 weeks left to pay your debt." "Then you'll leave." "Business is that." "So that's what I am to you." "Business." "What do you want?" "Look she's Maggie." "She took my job." "Doesn't sound too good, does it?" "Taking someone's job, my job, you fucking bitch." "Why you're here?" "Why?" "Feel guilty or come to see how poorly I live?" "Or come to help?" "I thought we were friends." "Friends, yes." "I had a good job, good money." "I help you, I teach you." "I even told Miky how good you are." "And that's a friend, I think." "And what did you do?" "I didn't do anything." "You didn't do anything?" "You took my clients, you fucking tourist." "Maybe " "Maybe just fuck off." "Got a cigarette?" "7 weeks left, £4,200 left to pay." "How is your arm?" "Miss Irina, please let me have the honor to show you something." "Just across the road, here." "Piazza Irina P." "That's for the best pay." "What happened to your arm?" "Penis Elbow." "You don't just wank the punters, you train the girls." "With you here, this'll be the classiest place in Soho." "And you get 15% of all the girls earnings, on top of your own." "What do you say?" "But I still owe Miky." "How much do you owe?" "Over £4,000." "I'll take care of that." "You owe me." "What do you say?" "I've had an offer." "Who?" "Someone called Dave, Sex-o-Roma." "It's a lot of money." "But I still owe you." "Tell me when you leave." "Where is she?" "Maggie!" "Maggie, stop please." "Why?" "I mean nothing to you." "I'm just another Luisa." "You are not Luisa." "Of course not, I'm valuable." "I'm business." "6 girls, I don't know what I was thinking, work in a place like that." "It's like being a Madam." "What am I doing here Miky?" "I don't know what you are doing here." "I just came for Olly." "Who is Olly?" "My grandson." "He's dying." "He's dying and I'm wanking." "It's mess." "What am I gonna do?" "But you said yes?" "No, I didn't." "At least I think I didn't." " What do you want to do?" " Stay." "You should smile more." "Mom?" "Hi Jane, it's me, Tom." "Tom, do you know what time it is?" "Yes, I know, sorry it's late." "Is mom there?" "Just " "Of course not, why would she be?" "Is there a problem?" "No, it's nothing." "I remember, a thing, she's... she's somewhere else." "Are you sure?" "Yes, okay, no, no, it's nothing." " Goodbye." " Goodbye." "She said it was a secret." "And?" "She left." "Went to America." "Wanted to be a doctor or find someone who could give her..." "You never saw her again?" "No I can't." "How come you ended up in a place like this?" "I hate people." "Mallorca." "For retirement, if it's ever finished." "You know" "I really do like your smile." "I like the way you work." "Thanks for walking me." "What'll I do about Dave?" "I'll sort it out, it's okay." "I think I better go, I can't miss the last train." "Pretty sling." "How's that feel?" "Not bad." "It's a bit stiff." "It'll be alright in a couple of days." "Ease yourself back into it." "Take it easy." "Bye!" "Goodbye and thank you very much." "It's nothing." "It's been an honor to treat Irina Palm." "Bye girls!" "After next one tell Maggie to come to my office." "I just want to see if you're alright." "Olly's dying, you're on the game, sunshining, what more can I want?" "Tom." "I'm taking that money back." "I know you must be " "You must be what?" "You must understand!" "No, I don't understand." "No, I don't understand, not a thing." "I don't understand advanced maths, I don't understand black holes or why people like the Beatles." "I don't understand, I don't understand why my mother is a whore." "I'm not a whore." "Tom, I think you should apologize.." "Sorry, sorry, sex worker." "Isn't that the bullshit term for a whore these days?" "I'm not a whore, take that back." "I'm paying that money back, every penny." "Every fucking penny!" "Every penny, mom!" "Tom, please." "Every penny, and it's not enough so in the world that can clean what you've been doing." " Tom are going to stop it now?" " Every slimy penny!" "We can't get the money back." "Don't tell me what I can do!" "Stop telling me!" "For the last five years people have been telling me: do this, do that don't do this, don't do that, try this, try that, don't try this," "Just leave me alone!" "Don't fucking tell me!" "I don't regret what I've done." "And don't you ever call me that word again." "If you ever set foot in that place again, you'll never see Olly again." "Ever." "Never!" "Never!" "He will not have grandmother who's a whore." "Tell them you're not coming back." "Tom, I " "You tell them, now!" "It's not that simple." "I don't care mom." "You tell them now, please." "Tell them now, right now, right this minute." "Tell them please!" "Sexy World." "Hello?" "Can I speak to Miky, please?" "Thank you." "Miky, this is Maggie." "What happened?" "I'm sorry but it's my son." "I won't be coming back." "You have to." "Yes, I know " "Listen, she's not ever coming back." "Do you hear?" "You're fucking money!" "I'll bring it back!" "Hi Maggie." "Hello." "Now meet the woman of mystery." "Yes, what's all this about the job?" "It's no mystery." "Why all the secrecy?" "I must say I was rather shocked by your behaviour." "I think someone's got a little secret." "Spill the beans, Maggs." "I forgot sad Maggs, you wern't talking about something remotely interesting." "I wank men off." "Wank?" "Masturbation?" "You masturbate men?" "Is that boring enough for you?" "Why?" "Money." "Whithout wishing to prime Maggs, how does it, not really anyone business of course, but " "How, how did you do?" "Well, they stick their cocks" "through a whole in the wall" "I wank them off, they come, end of story." "Miky says I've got the best right hand in London." "Miky?" "Club owner." "In Soho?" "Sexy World." "I'm Irina Palm." "I'm the best." "Irina Palm?" "Stage name." "Everyone has one." "These look delicious Jane, Did you make them yourself?" "Yes." "When you say cocks, are any of them..." "are any of them... are they " "Big?" "Yes." "Well, sometimes.." "Every now and then, you do get one." "That's, well, I'm talking..." "Penis Elbow." "Penis Elbow?" "Yes." "Well," "goodbye." "I was just thinking of Trevor, if he'd been alive, would you have told him?" "No, probably not." "I'm not giving back the money, it's for Olly." "Stop being so obstinate." "I don't care how she got the money." "She got it that's all that matters." "To you, maybe." "Stop being so fucking sanctimonious." "Thomas!" "Thomas!" "Look we all boast about what we would do for our kid, how precious they are, how we would die for them." "Well, I've just found out what that means." "God knows there are times when I could swing for her." "But Maggie put herself in the line." "For my son." "And I'm grateful." "Thanks." "How is he?" "He'll come around." "I came here to say, to say " "Thanks, really." "It hasn't been a great deal between us, I know..." "What you've done!" "We want you to come with us." "But you need the money." "It'll be a bit less." "Tom will come around, I'm sure he will." "Tell me he's gonna be alright." "Please!" "Please tell me he's gonna be okay." "Busy." "Merry Christmas, Maggie." "Oh... we are honered." "Packet of Bremmies, please Edith." "By the way, given your new profession I found, how should I say this, a more salubrious partner." "I know about you and Trevor." "I beg your pardon?" "Your affair with my husband." "I've known for years." "I don't know what you are talking about." "We're not all like you, you know." "I know everything." "Times, dates, places." "I know how much you liked being spanked." "He confessed before he died." "Couldn't take the guilt." "You know Trevor, weak like his tea." "You know what he is." "I really fancy a package of Fruit  Nuts." "I haven't had one for ages." "Here I am." "Where's Sarah?" "The doctor said she stayed with Olly at the hospital." "We are going to follow the ambulance to the airport." " Sorry I'm late." " Where have you been?" "Traffic." "Olly, you alright?" "Have you got everything?" "Have you got your books?" "I love you, just be " "Come on." " Okay, come on." "I'm not going." "What?" "I said I'm not going." "Olly is going to be fine." "You don't need me here for that." "In fact you'll be better off without me." "Why aren't you coming?" "I can't tell you now." "Remember?" "Our secret!" "Yes." "And I'll see you when you get back." "When you're well." "Thank you, Maggie."