"Yo." "Maurice!" "Jackie!" "Jack!" "Jackie!" "Jack!" "How you doing?" "And Miss lovely Amber Waves." "I'm pissed you haven't been around." "We were on vacation." "Don't you ever stay away that long from my club again." "And not for nothing, honey, but..." "You are the sexiest bitch in the entire country!" "I love you!" "You're such a charmer." "I got your booth set up." "I'll send some clams over." "Jack." "I'm ready." "I'm available." "Put me in a movie, okay?" "We're talking box office!" "Box office!" "Chi-Chi." "Jack and Amber's table, take them a order of clams." "Let's go!" "Vamos!" "How's it going here?" "Baby, me and you... we'll take a picture later on." "I love you, baby." "We were looking for you before!" "Where were you?" "I was here." "Seriously, man!" "I love you, Beck!" "Cowboy!" "That's a cowboy?" "You like it?" "It's nice, right?" "If you like it." "I love it, man." "I love it!" "Compliments of Maurice." "Can I get a Margarita, please?" "7-Up." "Hi, Rollergirl." "Did you call that girl today?" "I forgot." "After tomorrow, it'll be the weekend and you'll never be able to see her." "What's the matter down there?" "I got to pee." "Well, go then." "What's happening?" "I got to pee!" "Hey, Jack." "Little Bill." "Amber, how are you?" "How's our schedule?" "Are we still on for day after tomorrow?" "The day after the day after tomorrow." "Jack, I got to call Rocky and Scotty, Kurt." "Small crew on this one, you know what I mean?" "A low-key deal?" "Exactly." "I'm sorry." "Do we have a script?" "How you doing?" "Fine." "How old are you?" "I have a work permit." "No, it's nothing like that." "Worked here long?" "A month." "Maurice give you the job?" "Yeah." "You from around here?" "I mean, Canoga?" "Reseda?" "No." "You know where Torrance is?" "How do you get here?" "I take the bus." "What do you want to be?" "Excuse me?" "You take the bus from Torrance to Reseda to do this job." "Can't you get a job in Torrance?" "Yeah, but I don't want to." "So, you want 5 or 10?" "What?" "If you just want to see me jack-off, it's 10." "If you just want to look at it, it's only 5." "Guys pay you to watch you?" "You done it tonight?" "Couple of times." "You can do it again?" "If you want." "If you got 10 bucks." "My name is Jack." "Eddie." "Eddie Adams." "Eddie Adams from Torrance." "Jack Horner." "Filmmaker." "Really?" "Yeah." "I make..." "Adult films." "Exotic pictures." "I know who you are." "I read about you in a magazine." "Inside Amber." "Amanda's Ride." "Right?" "Right." "So now you know I'm not full of doggy doo-doo." "Want t come to the table and have a drink?" "I'd love to, but I got to work." "You have to work, get money, pay the rent." "Yeah." "I mean, no." "I need money, but I don't pay rent." "I live at home." "How old are you, Eddie?" "I'm 17." "17-year-old piece of gold." "Yeah, right." "Come." "I got people I'd like you to meet." "I do know who you are." "I'd love to come for a drink." "Obviously you're not full of..." "Doggy doo-doo." "But I couldn't walk out on Maurice." "I'm sorry." "Under those jeans something wonderful's waiting to get out." "Bye, Maurice." "Good night." "Listen, thank you." "Love you." "Take care." "This is the man you let in anytime." "You understand?" "Fix you some eggs, beauty?" "No, I'm going to sleep." "Good night." "Good night, honey-tits." "Stay beautiful." "Tom?" "Hi." "Yeah, it's me." "I know that it's late, but..." "Is Andy there?" "Is he?" "I'd like to say hello to my son and that's all." "Let me tell you something, Tom." "I know a lawyer." "You understand?" "You might think I don't, but I do and I'll take you to court!" "Tom, don't." "Come on." "Tom, please." "Please." "What the fuck are you doing?" "What the fuck does it look like I'm doing?" "Close the door?" "Will I close the door?" "Will I close the door?" "That's my wife, you asshole." "Oh, I'm sorry." "Get out." "Go sleep on the couch." "Don't stop." "Big Stud." "Jesus, please!" "Shave if you're going to do that." "You scratch my face." "Sorry." "Morning." "How's it at work?" "You get home late?" "You work in a nightclub." "If it means so much to you, you should find one that's closer." "I've got to get to work." "At a car wash." "What?" "You work at a car wash." "You work at a nightclub." "School never occurred to you?" "Bye, Dad." "Goodbye." "Basically you're getting twice the bass... with the TK241, which we've... got available in this system." "I don't know." "I don't really know if I need all that bass." "I think you need all that bass." "If you want a system to handle what you want... you need the bass." "This is hi-fi." "High fidelity." "That means this is the highest quality fidelity." "Hi-fi." "Two important things to have in a stereo system." "It's the price." "I have this unit in my home." "Really?" "Yes, I do." "But, of course, I got it modified with the TK421." "Which kicks it up another... 3 or 4... quads per channel, you know?" "But that's technical talk." "That doesn't concern you." "You're still a little uncertain." "You know what you need?" "A test drive." "You need a test drive." "It's one thing to hear it from Buck's mouth." "It's another thing to hear it from the TK421." "Let me pop in this 8-track." "Listen, and tell me what you think." "Hear that?" "You hear the bass." "Right?" "You hear it?" "It kicks!" "It turns!" "It curls up your belly." "It makes you wanna freaky-deaky, right?" "Now if you get the system as is... it won't sound like this without the TK421 modification." "And we do that in the store right here." "Very small price." "Move with it if you need to." "It helps me." "Thank you for your time." "Well, so long, partner." "What the fuck was that?" "Have I told you?" "Have I?" "What?" "You put on a country-western shit, no one'll buy a stereo." "What kind of brother listens to that shit?" "Look, Jerry..." "No, no, no." "You look." "I gave you a job because..." "I thought your acting stuff might bring nice pussy in." "And it has." "But I can't have anymore fuck-ups." "You dig?" "You dig?" "Yeah, I dig." "Now get in the back and unload those new 484's." "All right." "Sorry." "Settle down, class." "This is your final." "Keep your test papers facedown until I tell you to turn them up." "Clear your tables, please." "There should be nothing on your desk but the test and a pencil." "We're covering chapters 17 through 28." "Your eyes should stay on your test papers, please." "Are we ready?" "Class, begin." "I love to suck cock." "I love to suck cock." "Honey?" "You okay?" "Sweetheart?" "Is something wrong?" "I got to get back." "I need it again." "I have to go to work." "Come on, give it to me." "Don't make me pounce you." "I'll do it." "You promise?" "That's it." "You want it?" "How bad?" "Bad." "You sure?" "You asked for it!" "God. wait." "Stop!" "What?" "Your cock is so beautiful." "Do you know how good you are doing it, Eddie?" "Having sex?" "Fucking me?" "Making love to me?" "Everyone has one thing." "Everyone's given one special thing, right?" "That's right." "Everyone's blessed with one special thing." "I want you to know I plan on being a star." "A big bring shining star." "That's what I want." "That's what I'm going to get." "I know." "I got to go." "You're lucky." "You want a ride?" "You want a ride?" "I'm going really far." "Do you remember me from a couple hours ago?" "Yeah, I remember." "Come with us, sweetie." "This is a really cool car." "What I'm trying to tell you... is that it takes a lot... of the good American old green stuff to make one of these things, you know?" "You've got your camera, you've got your film..." "You got your lights, your sound, your lab costs... you got devloping, your synching, your editing." "Before you turn around... you've spent maybe 20, 25, 30 thousand dollars on a movie." "That's a lot." "You bet your ass it is." "But if you make a good one... there's practically no end to how much money you can make." "Have you seen Jack's house?" "He will." "He'll see it." "You got maybe 15, 20 guys standing around just... making sure that your lighting is right." "But you can work out in the morning, you can work out at noon, at night." "It doesn't matter." "If you don't have those juices flowing in the Mr. Torpedo area... in the Fun Zone." "But you must get people in the theater." "You need the big dicks, the big tits..." "Here we go." "How do you keep them in the theater after they've come?" "With beauty... and with acting." "I understand you've got to get them in the theater... keep the seats full." "But I don't want to make a film... where they sit down, jack-off... and they get up and get out before the story ends." "It is my dream, it is my goal... it is my idea to make a film... that the story just sucks them in... and when they spurt out that joy-juice, they just got to sit in it." "They can't move... until they find out how the story ends." "I want to make a film like that." "I understand they have to make films, I've made them myself... that are a few laughs... everybody fucks their brains out." "And that's fine." "But it's my dream... to make a film... that is true... and right... and dramatic." "You want a Fresca?" "No thanks." "Are you sure?" "You're out of limes, Jack." "Check in the kitchen, darling." "I'm going to bed." "Good night, Jackie." "Don't stay up too late." "Good night, beauty." "Good night, Eddie." "Glad you came by." "You're great." "Thank you." "She's the best." "She's a wonderful mother." "She's a mother to all those who need love." "She's really nice." "You know what I'm thinking?" "I want to be in business with you." "Really?" "What do you think?" "I'd love it." "What do you think of Rollergirl?" "She's great." "Would you like to do it?" "Have sex?" "Yeah." "Yeah, I'd love to." "She's really foxy." "You bet your ass it is." "You're officially out of limes." "I'll pick up some for you tomorrow." "Come here, darling." "I want you to get over there and sit on the couch with Eddie." "Here we go." "Are we going to fuck?" "Oh, yes." "Wait a minute." "Are you ready?" "Yeah, are you?" "You taking your skates off?" "." "I don't take my skates off." "And don't fucking come in me." "Aim it at her tits, Eddie." "Hi." "Where were you?" "Nowhere." "Where were you?" "You see that little slut-girl?" "Sheryl?" "Sheryl Lynn?" "Don't say that." "Make you feel like a stud to see trash like that?" "Is she your girlfriend?" "No, she's not..." "She's a whore and a piece of trash." "I know you're not the only one she sees." "Why would you say that?" "I heard things about that girl." "I know what goes on when I'm not here!" "I wash your sheets." "Or you doing something else in there with your music and your posters?" "What is your problem?" "Go to that little whore." "Sheryl Lynn." "Go to your little girlfriend." "Maybe I will!" "What will you do?" "Something!" "You can't do anything!" "You're a loser!" "You'll always be a loser!" "You were too stupid to finish high school!" "What'll you do?" "I'll go somewhere!" "Maybe I'll run away where you can never find me!" "Fine!" "Fuck that girl!" "What are you doing?" "I'm getting my stuff." "That's not your stuff!" "." "You didn't pay for it!" "That is not your stuff!" "." "You didn't pay for it, stupid!" "None of this is yours!" "You leave here, you leave with what you've got!" "Nothing!" "Nothing!" "You understand me?" "You want to treat me like this?" "Is that fair?" "I didn't do anything!" "Fuck that little whore!" "You think you're going to be this... goddamn poster?" "!" "You won't be this!" "Don't do that!" "Why are you doing that?" "You won't be shit!" "You're too stupid!" "I'm not!" "Please, don't fucking do that!" "Don't be mean to me!" "I am not being mean to you!" "You're too stupid to see it!" "You don't know what I can do or what I'm going to be!" "I have good things that you don't know about!" "I'm going to be something!" "Don't tell me I'm not!" "Don't be mean!" "And you don't talk to me!" "No!" "Fuck!" "Shit." "Eddie Adams from Torrance." "I knew you'd make it." "You take the bus here?" "It wasn't bad." "How are you?" "Great." "I got people I want you to meet." "Do you like music?" "I love music." "What kind?" "All kinds." "Rock, jazz, classical." "I want you to meet some great people." "Buck and Becky." "Hi, I'm Eddie Adams." "Buck Swope." "Nice to meet you." "Our new fella." "Becky Barnett." "Nice to meet you." "This is the new fella?" "Is that a faccia?" "That is a faccia." "Faccia's "face"?" "That's right." "Nice to meet you." "Take care." "Great people." "He's one hell of an actor." "I want you to meet the new boy on the street." "Hi, Eddie." "Reed Rothchild." "Stick around for a while, okay?" "Sure." "Make him something special." "You live on the street?" "I thought Jack just said you did." "Want a drink?" "Margarita?" "Two... four, whatever." "Can I ask you something?" "Do you work out?" "You look like it." "What do you squat." "About two." "Super, super." "What about you?" "What do you squat?" "350." "No BS." "That's a lot." "Where do you work out?" "In Torrance, where I live." "Cool." "Cool." "You ever go to Vince's out here?" "Oh, no." "I would've seen you." "I'm there everyday." "Always wanted to work out at Vince's." "Cool." "Here." "Taste that." "Rock and roll!" "Did you see Star Wars?" "About 4 times." "People tell me I look like Han Solo." "Really?" "What do you bench?" "You tell first." "I asked you first." "Same time." "Cool." "Are you ready?" "One...two...three." "You didn't say anything." "Neither did you." "Hey guys, look at me." "Thank you, Johnny." "My dear, it's party time." "You do look lovely." "Hello, Colonel." "How are you?" "Oh hello, Jack." "This is my lady friend." "Darling, meet Jack Horner." "The finest director in the business." "Do you nave any coke at this party?" "I'm sure they can find some somewhere." "Great." "You're no bigger than a minute." "And shy as a butterfly." "I'll bet." "He has a right to tell me how to sell stereos." "It's his store." "But he doesn't have the right to tell me how to dress." "Baby, it's just plain old." "Let me tell you something." "First, he was pissed about the music." "What's wrong with it?" "And the cowboy look ended 6 years ago." "It's coming back." "No, it's not." "It's over." "It's dead." "You don't know." "I do." "And it sounds like your bosses at the store are saying the same thing." "What?" "What?" "You have to get a new look!" "What?" "You get a new look!" "The look I have is just fine." "What is your look?" "Chocolate love, all right?" "Take a pill." "100o/0." "I'm just trying to be your friend." "Drop it." "I tried opening up a club here." "But I'm just this poor brother from Puerto Rico." "I got this club, that's one thing." "But soon that goes, I die and what do I have?" "I got nothing." "I want something I can send home." "Something I can send to my brother and say:" ""Look at me." "Look at me and all the beautiful women I've been with."" "So, what?" "You want me to talk to Jack?" "Yeah." "I mean, what am I asking you here?" "Honey, baby, please, talk to Jack." "Tell him I can do this." "I won't be bad." "You want to be in a movie?" "Baby, please." "I'll see what I can do." "Thank you." "Thank you, mamita." "Maurice, can I talk to you?" "I need to talk you now." "Excuse me." "Can I join in?" "Certainly." "Your cowboy..." "That's not dead." "Then what the fuck is Becky talking about?" "She's got a fucking something up her ass." "Fuck that shit." "Bitch." "Do a cannonball!" "No, no." "Watch this jackknife!" "Did I look cool?" "Pretty good." "I'll show you what you did wrong." "Full flip." "You all right?" "You have to bring your legs all the way around." "I know." "I know." "This is my point." "You know what I'm saying?" "Wear what you dig." "Just wear what you dig." "That's what I say." "What's the problem?" "Should I get that?" "Hello." "Can you speak a little louder, please?" "A who?" "A Maggie?" "Do you know a Maggie?" "I don't." "There's no Maggie here." "Your mother?" "Just give me a second." "Watch that for me, okay?" "Excuse me, is there a Maggie here?" "Are you Maggie?" "You're not?" "Are you Maggie?" "Do you know Maggie?" "Oh, man, can you believe that?" "Hello?" "I'm sorry, there's no Maggie here." "No, no, it's not a problem." "Okay, ciao." "Who was it?" "Some kid looking for his mom." "What are you doing?" "What's it look like?" "That's my wife." "Shut up, Bill." "You're embarrassing me." "Yeah, Little Bill, shut up." "Kurt, how's it going?" "What's wrong with you?" "My fucking wife, man." "She's down there, some idiot's dick in her." "Everybody's watching." "It's an embarrassment!" "I know." "Anyway, listen." "For the shoot, I want to see about getting this new zoom lens." "I was wondering if we'd be able to get more lights too." "Jack wants a minimal thing." "Very often, minimal means a lot more photographically than people understand." "I understand." "I know you understand." "I mean other people." "I think what Jack is talking about is minimal." "Not natural, but minimal." "Okay, fine." "I understand." "I want to give each film its own look." "Can we talk about this later?" "You got to go somewhere or..." "Yeah." "No, I mean..." "I was hoping, for the shoot tomorrow, we could send Rocky down to pick it up." "No, got you." "You got to go somewhere." "So what the fuck?" "It's only the photography of the film." "Are you giving me shit?" "No." "No way, Little Bill." "My fucking wife has an ass in her cock in the driveway!" "All right?" "I'm sorry if my thoughts are not on the photography of the film!" "Okay." "No big deal." "Sorry." "Got you." "All right, where is it?" "She's sick." "What the fuck is this?" "I didn't do anything?" "Is she breathing?" "I don't know." "Maybe she did too much coke." "Do you think so, doctor?" "The girl's definitely OD'ed." "Fuck me." "I want you to handle this for me, Johnny." "You listening?" "Drive her to Saint Joe's." "Drop her off in the front." "Understand me?" "Got you." "Make sure no one sees the limo." "What is this?" "This is twice in 2 days that a chick has OD'ed on me!" "Think it means you should think about getting new shit?" "Yes sir." "Shit, she's freaking out!" "Look!" "With all this conversation!" "Come on!" "Please don't die!" "Back door, Johnny." "You got it." "Fucking shit!" "Get out of my way." "Bart is she all right?" "Shut the fuck up!" "Scotty J., how are you?" "You know, you know." "Who's this?" "Eddie, this is Scotty J. He works on some of the films." "Nice to meet you." "Me too." "Are you going to be working or..." "Maybe." "Probably." "That's great." "How'd you meet Jack?" "Because I work on the films." "Sometimes." "So, if you ever..." "Come here!" "That's the boy." "Could you excuse me for a minute?" "Very nice to meet you." "Take care." "Eddie Adams, this is the Colonel." "How do you do?" "Eddie is interested in film." "I can't give you much advice that Jack doesn't know... but I can advise you to think about your name." "My name?" "Think about some name that makes you happy, or... something with a little pizazz." "The Colonel here, he puts up all the money for our films." "It's an important part of the process." "Great, great." "I look forward to seeing you in action." "Jack says you have a big cock." "Well, I don't know." "I guess so." "May I see it?" "Really?" "Please." "Thank you, Eddie." "No problem." "Thanks, Eddie." "You want to hear a poem I wrote?" ""I love you" "You love me" "Going down the sugar tree." "We'll go down the sugar tree" "And see lots of bees" "Playing" "Playing" "But the bees won't sting" "Because you love me."" "That's it." "Great." "You write that?" "Yeah." "I write songs too." "How's it going, boys?" "Good time?" "Excellent." "It was a great party." "The best." "That's what Jackie's house is for." "To have a good time." "Right?" "That's right!" "How about bubbles, Reed?" "Excuse me, Jack?" "I was thinking about what the Colonel said about my name." "Do you have any ideas?" "I had some thoughts." "What about you?" "What do you think?" "My idea was, you know, I just want a name..." "I want it so it can cut glass." "Razor sharp." "Razor sharp, right." "When I close my eyes, I see this thing, like this big sign." "And the name is in bright blue neon lights with purple outline." "It just blows up because the name is just so powerful." "It says "Dirk Diggler."" "I think heaven has sent you here," "Dirk Diggler." "I think the angels have blessed us all because of you." "You're Dirk!" "Dirk Diggler!" "Amen!" "Talk to me, Kurt." "20 to 30." "Why?" "I got tough shadows to deal with." "There's shadows in life, babe." "You want to go over this?" "The set-up is..." "Here we go." "One:" "Amber and Becky telephone the agents to send over some actors." "Two: enter Reed to audition for Amber." "They go at it." "Becky watches." "Three:" "Becky goes to the bathroom to jack-off." "She gets interrupted by Amber, they go at it." "Four..." "Who's Dirk Diggler?" "That's that new good-looking kid, Eddie, at the club." "Good name." "Anyway, enter Dirk." "He meets Becky, they go at it." "No." "Change that, will you?" "I want Eddie to be auditioning for Amber." "Got it." "Darling?" "Where you going?" "To wash my vagina." "How long will you be?" "2 seconds." "You want it clean, don't you?" "I'm back now." "I'm ready to start my..." "I'm supposed to come get you now and tell you they're all ready now." "Do you think you could give me a minute?" "Thanks." "I'm back now." "I'm ready to start my acting career." "That's right." "You look really good." "And you look really sexy." "I like your name a lot." "You do?" "It's really cool." "You'll be right down there." "How's my boy?" "Great!" "Let's do it." "Remember what we talked about?" "You're going to come through the door, walk right over here." "I'll say:" ""Action, Eddie." That'll be your cue, right?" "You enter, you walk right over here to the desk to Amber and... we shoot." "Do we go right into the sex or..." "Is that all right?" "Is that okay with you?" "Good." "You don't need a rehearsal?" "It's okay." "I can do it." "We'll shoot the rehearsal." "Could I ask you something?" "I was wondering if you could call me Dirk Diggler from now on?" "Absolutely." "I'm sorry." "No, it's all right." "From now on." "Let's get a good one." "Want to practice your lines?" "No, I know it." "You look great, honey." "Does he want me to keep going until I come?" "Yeah, come when you're ready." "Where?" "Where do you want?" "Wherever you tell me." "Come on my tits if you can, okay?" "Pull it out and do it on my stomach and my tits, if you can." "No problem." "Are you all right, honey?" "This is great." "I'm fine." "I just want to do good." "I want it to be really good." "I was wondering," "Great." "You all right?" "Enter through this door. "Action," that's your cue." "You got the lines for the scene?" "If you drop one, call for it." "But do not stop." "Okay?" "Want some water or something?" "I'm fine." "You'll do fine." "Roll it, Scotty." "Speed." "Sticks." "Marker." "Camera's set." "We're ready, Chief." "And... action, Dirk." "Hello." "Are you John?" "Yes, ma'am." "Your agency recommends you very highly." "I'm a hard worker." "If you give me a job, I won't disappoint you." "What special skills do you have?" "I've been in the Marines for three years." "I just got back from a tour of duty." "You're kidding." "I'm not." "And it got really hard being surrounded by all those guys all day." "How long since you had a woman?" "A long time." "That's terrible." "But now I'm back, and I'm ready to pursue my acting career." "As you may or may not know, this is an important film for me." "If it's not a hit, I'll get kicked out of my apartment." "My landlord's a jerk." "Really?" "Take your pants off." "It's important I get an idea of your size." "No problem." "I think that you have the job, but why don't I make sure of something?" "This is a giant cock." "Little Bill, we've rolled out." "We got to change mags." "Do it quickly." "Is everything cool?" "We just got to change the angle." "Does it look sexy?" "It's great." "You're doing so good." "Does it feel good?" "Roll sound, Scotty." "Speed." "Quiet." "Sticks." "We're back." "Action, kids." "Okay, we're going to go down now." "Down again." "John, you're a wonderful actor." "You're a wonderful actor!" "You're amazing." "You feel so good." "Are you ready to come?" "Come in me." "Don't worry." "I'm fixed." "I want you to come in me." "Oh, God!" "Wonderful." "Cut!" "Terrific!" "Nice work!" "Was it sexy?" "Rock and roll!" "Really good!" "Doesn't he fuck like a champ?" "He rocks." "The camera loves you." "I didn't get the come shot." "We missed the come shot." "He came inside her." "Maybe we could go to stock footage." "Are you crazy?" "It won't match." "I could do it again if you need a close-up." "Here we go." "Everyone say, "Dirk!"" "There are real wood." "These are great." "Those are cool Are they lizard?" "No, they're Italian." "I'm going to fucking buy these." "Guys?" "It's funny you say that because we should be in a band." "You like my shoes?" "Pretty cool." "I got them with Reed and Scotty." "They're cool." "They're embossed leather with this patchwork reptilian-pattern design." "Can we have some hot sauce?" "Want to sit down and help yourself?" "." "Say hello to Jaime Lynn." "Scotty." "So, you're a Leo?" "My girlfriend wants to meet you." "This is Raymond." "What's your name?" "Excuse me?" "Becky Barnett!" "Raymond's a Leo." "I knew it." "What's your sign?" "I'm a Pisces." "What?" "I can't deal with no Pisces." "That shirt's pretty sexy." "This is, like, imported Italian nylon." "And it's, like, a special edition limited silk print." "And it was done by this really famous... design artist from Italy." "Pick a card." "What's up, baby?" "I love you!" "I'm going to cut the deck one time, all right?" "Now I'm going to make your card rise from the deck." "Damn!" "2 of diamonds, right?" "That's my card!" "But doesn't it make you nervous when you're dealing with those evil forces?" "Horses?" "What?" "No, the evil forces!" "Evil?" "No, man, it's not evil." "It's an illusion." "Yeah, it's confusing." "Thank you." "We're going to try and do this all in one shit!" "So, we start like this, and then you roll her over, Dirk." "Roll with him, but try to give me every single position." "Is that possible?" "Rollergirl, if you wrap your leg around..." "No, the left one." "Around and over." "Good." "See, we can go right into doggy-style." "Perfect." "Is the movement on the waterbed a problem?" "No, not at all, Kurt, I dig it." "It's great." "Okay, can we do this?" "Yeah." "All right, everybody." "Here we go." "This is going to be great." "Do you want me to use the Spanish accent?" ""Jack Horner has found something special in newcomer Dirk Diggler."" "It's another stellar sexual standout from Horner and Company." "Digger delivers a performance worth a thousand hard-ons." "His presence when dressed is powerful and demanding."" ""Stripped to the bone," "Diggler's more eruptive than a volcano on a bad day."" ""Amber Waves' cherry lips do a great job of handling Diggler's wide load..."" ""Rocking Reed Rothchild's stiff biceps do a slapping good job... job with Becky Barnett's supple ass."" ""But it's Dirk Diggler that remains the stand-out in this film." "It's easy to predict after only 2 films" "Diggler's suck-cess can only grow... and grow and grow and grow and grow" "What else?" "That's it for now." "Look at the character Holmes came up with." "And look, I just..." "Tell me." "I don't like seeing women treated that way." "The guy who plays Johnny Wadd." "It's always about slapping a girl around." "It's not right." "It's not cool." "It's just not sexy." "It's not sexy like it should be." "The guy's more like a James Bond-type character." "You know, he's classy." "He's a world-traveled guy." "I like that." "Reed could play my partner." "I like that a lot." "We could make it really good, Jack." "Honestly, if you direct it, we make a whole series with a whole story." "It's exactly what we've always talked about." "Please." "When we get back... set up the typewriter." "We'll see what comes out of it." "But I have to talk to the Colonel when we get to Vegas." "You must work on the Colonel too, you must be committed." "Right, right, Jack." "I'll do whatever I have to do." "Does this character have a name?" "His name is "Brock Landers."" "And his partner's name is "Chest Rockwell."" "Those are great names!" "And the award for "Best newcomer" goes to... yes, my baby boy, Dirk Diggler!" "And the award for "Best Cock" goes to... and here we go again, Dirk Diggler!" "The award for "Best Actor" goes to..." "I've seen all his movies and I can't wait to work with him!" "Mr. Dirk Diggler!" "I don't know what to say." "I guess the only thing I can say is..." "I'll promise to keep rocking and rolling and making better films." "You know, it seems we makes these movies... and sometimes they're considered filthy or something by some people." "But I don't think that's true." "These movies we make, they can be better." "They can help, they really can." "I mean that!" "We can always do better." "I'm going to keep trying, if you guys keep trying." "Let's keep rocking and rolling." "Shot of tequila, straight up." "Yes, ma'am." "I've been in this place for 20 minutes just to get a seat." "Are you alone?" "Yeah." "Just visiting LA." "Some people told me the food in here was really good." "It's not good." "It's the best place to eat in all of LA." "It's excellent." "I hope so." "I could die of starvation before I get something in my mouth." "Still hungry?" "Starving." "Why don't you feast on that." "Oh, it's true." "What's that?" "You are Brock Landers." "Freeze!" "Don't make me chase you, Raphael!" "Freeze!" "We're almost there." "I want you to trim the head." "Take the shot of Reed with the revolver." "Just dump it and switch the title card." "I want it to come flying out of the screen at the audience." "Nice." "Piece of cake." "That's my guy." "I told him, this is a special party for Scotty J." "I want your lightest, bubbliest champagne." "This is what he gave me." "Take a sip of this and tell me what you think." "This is supposed to be really good stuff." "Here, take a sip." "Is that pretty light?" "Yeah, that is." "What do you think?" "It's beautiful!" "Look how spacious it is." "Yeah, look." "I like these." "That's custom made." "That's real Italian leather." "Watch this." "What's that?" "My initials." "That's imaginative!" "How'd you think of that?" "I was thinking of my name and dreamt it up." "I'm almost finished." "It looks great." "I used a little poetic license to capture your essence." "It looks great." "It's a good piece for conversation." "It's really neat." "Jesse did all that oil painting as well." "Buck is still installing the stereo." "That's a bean bag!" "And that lamp...those are real sterling silver." "It's a very interesting room." "It has a very modern feel too." "Watch this." "You ready?" "Can't wait to see it." "It's my dojo." "It's all Asian!" "An Asian room!" "It has that whole karate feel." "It's very comfortable." "Yeah." "A lot of ancient China." "I have my statues for my Best Actor awards." "A good place to keep your awards." "I'm glad." "Look up there." "Oh, that's handy." "Can you see yourself?" "." "Yeah." "It's great, huh?" "It's my whole, entire wardrobe." "It's all perfectly organized for me by color as well as designer." "You don't have to think about it or anything." "You'll love it." "This is my favorite thing in the world." "Close your eyes." "Okay, you ready?" "Yeah, baby." "Isn't it beautiful?" "Oh, God." "This is it." "This is the thing." "You deserve this, baby." "Isn't it great?" "This is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen." "Want to go for a ride?" "Oh, yeah!" "She rocks!" "Hold on!" "You set us up, Chico." "Fuck with Raphael and Ringo, that's your business." "Don't fuck with Chest!" "You know what?" "You're not even worth it!" "I gave you a chance!" "I trusted him." "Well, we almost solved the case." "At least the women are safe." "Let's go get some of that Saturday night beaver." "No one fucks with Chest and Brock." "This is the best work we've ever done." "It's a real film, Jack." "It feels good." "You made it fly." "This is the film..." "I want them to remember me by." "Thank you." "As far as I'm concerned, it's all about love." "You know what I mean?" "If you love someone, how hard can the world be?" "Peole will come and they will go, and so will Problems, but ultimately... if you have got love on your side, and it is just..." "I mean, it is just deep down in your soul... what's a problem that takes your attention away from that?" "Do you understand?" "I'm Becky Barnett." "Jerome." "Nice to meet you." "Nice to meet you, too, Becky." "So, what do you do?" "I'm in the auto industry." "I'm a regional manager over at Pep Boys." "That's great, that's great." "You've got a really nice smile, Becky." "Thank you..." "Jerome." "The Colonel." "Floyd Gondolli!" "Great you could make it." "Great, great!" "How are you?" "You look happy." "I'm fine." "Meet boys, Tommy, Pete." "Meet girls, Cyndi, Angie." "These are the next stars." "There are the real people in the world." "I think we ought to talk to Jack." "Iron this thing out before the new year?" "Let's do it." "But what were you thinking?" "What were you feeling?" "Did you do research?" "What are you talking about here?" "Oh, nothing." "Want to come with me for a while?" "Where?" "It's a surprise, surprise, surprise." "Yeah, let's go." "Excuse me, Jessie." "Hey, Buck." "Hey, Jessie." "How you doing?" "Are you sitting alone?" "Yes." "Todd Parker!" "Rocking Reed Rothchild!" "You made it!" "It's an amazing party." "Fucking chicks everywhere." "You bet." "Courtesy of Jack Horner, thank you." "I wouldn't mind me having a piece of that action over there." "Michelle." "I'll introduce you." "Sure." "Introduce her to my lap." "Did you get off work?" "Don't dance Sunday nights." "Who's Vette is that in the driveway?" "Dirk." "I'm jealous of him." "That shit's jamming." "Start down low with a 350 cube." "3 1/4 horsepower, 4 speed, 4-10 gears... 10 coats of orange, hand-rubbed lacquer with a dual-plane manifold." "Full fucking race cams." "I'm pretty happy with it, you know?" "It's a great look for you, I think." "It's pretty original, you know, I think." "Take this off." "What were we talking about before?" "Oil painting?" "No." "No, yes!" "I mean, but I was saying that..." "Sunsets!" "Right, yeah." "I was saying that I love sunsets." "But sunrises are better." "Exactly." "I thought I was the only one who felt that way." "No, I feel that way." "Really?" "Yes really." "Have you heard my stereo system?" "No." "I'm going to open my own business." "Really?" "Yes." "It's my dream, okay?" "It's hi-fi stereo equipment at discount prices." "It's called "Buck's Super Stereo World."" "That is a fucking great idea." "You know, in the 80's that's when it's going to happen." "For real." "Really?" "Yes, really." "In the 80's." "I wanted you to come in so I could tell you how much I love you." "It'll be a new year and we're going to start things, and do things... and I just wanted you to know how much I care about you." "I really care about you, honey." "You're my little baby." "You're the best thing that's happened to me since my son went off." "I love you, honey." "I love you, too." "Fucking 1980, you know?" "Can you believe it?" "I can't." "The next thing you know it's going to be... like, 1990, and 2000." "Can you imagine?" "Good bye 1979..." "Hello 1980." "Make sure you snort it back real quick and hard." "Like this." "It burns." "It's good though, right?" "It's going in my throat." "That's the drip." "The drip's the best part." "It tastes like aspirin." "Do one more in the other nostril." "I need a drink of water." "One more and then a drink of water." "Do you think I look cool when I do it?" "So let's talk about the future." "Let's talk about what video means to this industry." "Let's talk about how all of us, not one of us, how all of us will profit." "Now, I've been doing theater in San Francisco and San Diego..." "As long as you've been doing stag and hardcore." "We're all familiar with your biography, Floyd." "No one is doubting your credentials or your history." "Then why the resistance?" "This industry will be turned upside-down soon enough." "Why help it?" "Why not be prepared?" "Colonel's got money." "You got talent." "I got the equipment and distribution." "Not to mention those kids out there... who are hot fuck action to the max, Jack." "This is the future." "Videotape tells the truth." "You come into my house, my party, to tell me about the future?" "And the future is tape, videotape, and not film?" "That it's amateurs, not professionals?" "I'm a filmmaker." "That's why I'll never make a movie on videotape." "I'll tell you something." "I will never loan out any of the actors under contract to me." "Period." "Wait a minute, Jack." "I'm not a complicated man." "I like cinema." "In particular, I like to see people fucking on film." "But I don't want to win an Oscar or re-invent the wheel." "I like simple pleasures like butter in my ass and lollipops in my mouth." "That's something I enjoy." "Call me crazy, call me a pervert." "But there is one thing that I want to do in this life." "And that is, I want to make a dollar and a cent in this business." "I'm not trying to hurt you." "I'm trying to help you stay ahead of the game." "We're going in circles now." "We're in familiar territory." "The territory we're in is the future." "Not to mention the cost." "You know, if it looks like shit, and it sounds like shit, then it must be shit!" "You're holding on too tight, Jack." "It doesn't have to look good." "Film is just too damn expensive." "And theaters are already converting to video projectors." "I haven't heard that." "Well, it's true." "Ten minutes before the new year." "I'd like to spend it with my friends." "We will or will not continue this conversation." "Hey, Scotty." "What's up?" "Fucking New Year's, right?" "1980." "Oh, man!" "Right!" "Did you see my new car?" "Got a new car?" "Want to see?" "All right." "Cool." "It's out front." "Come on." "I want you to meet my friend Todd." "Todd Parker, Dirk Diggler." "What's up, man?" "How are you?" "We finally meet." "I was telling you about him before." "You remember?" "Todd Parker?" "He works at Party Boys Strip Club?" "Cool." "You're a dancer." "Yeah, I got some moves." "You coming or you want to talk to these guys?" "I'll be around in a little bit and we can talk then, okay?" "See you later, Reed." "When you get my the lights, close your eyes." "Just follow my voice." "Here, here, here, here, here." "It's cool!" "You want to get inside?" "When did you get it?" "Yesterday." "I had it painted yesterday, so the paint might be kind of sticky." "This is great, man!" "You want to go for a ride?" "Wait, wait!" "Fuck!" "Hell, how much time is left?" "I'm sorry." "What the hell is the matter with you?" "Why did you do that, Scotty?" "You look at me sometimes." "I want to know if you like me." "Yeah, I like you, Scotty." "Can I kiss you?" "Please, can I kiss you on the mouth?" "Please let me?" "Look, I'm really sorry." "I didn't mean to grab you like that or scare you." "Do you want to kiss me?" "What's the matter with you?" "Forget it." "I'm really drunk." "Really, I am." "I'm out of my head." "I'm really wasted." "Really, Dirk." "I'm really just wasted." "I'm crazy right now." "I'm really crazy." "Do you want to go back inside?" "Do you like my car, Dirk?" "What?" "Because I wanted to, you know..." "I wanted to make sure you thought it was cool or else I'd take it back." "It's great." "Happy New Year." "Happy New Year, Scotty." "I really love you." "I love you too, Scotty." "Let's go back inside, okay?" "Idiot!" "I'm a fucking idiot." "I'm a fucking idiot." "Two minutes, pops!" "Let's go!" "Let's go!" "Two minutes!" "Come on, Little Bill!" "Little Bill, smile, man!" "Little Bill, champagne?" "Thanks." "That's nice of you." "Happy New Year." "To you too." "Kurt, have you seen my wife?" "They're doing the countdown thing." "Come on in, man." "Hey, Little Bill, look at me." "10...9... 8...7... 6,5,4... 3...2..." "What the fuck was that?" "Where's Jack?" "What about your character, "Brock Landers"?" "And what people may consider violent attitudes towards women?" "Violence?" "No!" "I mean, if there's a certain amount of... violence or action in this series of film, that's the movie." "If Brock Landers is slick with a gun... he does so in the vein of good." "Brock protects the values of the American ideal, and fights for causes that instill pride in a society where morals are hard to come by." "Who sent you?" "Get the fuck off me, asshole." "Lie still or I'll punch you in the face!" "Fuck off!" "." "I'll find out who sent you." "Amber, I live in this world." "I don't like violence any more than you do." "Violence is a bad thing." "But when you see violence in films..." "If movies, films, caused violence... we'd be able to wipe out violence tomorrow." "No more films." "That's fine." "I'll do something else." "I'll fuck on my own time." "You know, I got other interests." "I'm a magician." "Hopefully, that will be something..." "I focus on in the future." "You can't fuck forever." "I realize that." "Violence... is something that plagues us as a society." "Well, the fine line is, I'm playing a character." "I mean, I'm Dirk Diggler." "Brock Landers is a character that I'm playing." "I'll ask you again, and I'll ask nice." "Where the fuck is Ringo, you bitch?" "Fuck you." "Why do I love him?" "He's very special." "He can fuck hard or he can fuck really gently." "He's the best." "I think that's... part of my reason for doing this." "I've gotten thousands upon thousands of letters... from people telling me, "God, you've taught me this and... you've made our love life so much better."" "This isn't "Go out and have sex with ten million people."" ""How to get a girl off." It's how to get your wife off." "If only people could have been doing this before, we could have saved a million relationships." "I've saved thousands." "Blocking an idea or movement." "Jack'll put the final touches together for what the camera needs for editing." "But he allows me to block my own sex scenes and gives me the freedom to develop the character and stuff like that." "I don't know any other director who would let an actor... do that." "I don't allow him to block his own sex scenes." "It is." "It's jealousy... it's deceitfulness, it's vindictiveness." "But, God, what can you expect when you're on top." "It's like Napoleon, when he was the king... people were constantly trying to conquer him... in the Roman Empire." "It's history repeating itself all over again." "To all the critics out there, I know they'll be reviewing this." "I know they'll try to knock me." "I want them to know--Can I say this into the camera?" "Sure." "I only am who I am because I was born that way." "I have a gift... and I am trying to not be selfish about it, but to use it." "And if you want to knock me for that, it's your own problem." "Jealousy will get you nowhere." "I'm going to keep rocking on." "For Dirk Diggler, the future is something to look forward to, not to fear." "He's a creative man of many interests:" "Film, poetry, karate, music and dance." "He is a man of passion and mystery." "He is a man of lust." "It's my poem to you." "It's really good." "You're like a director now." "Have you shown Jack yet?" "No." "I wanted you to be the first." "It's really good, Amber." "Congratulations." "Thanks, baby." "You might want to think about cutting the part where Jack talks about..." "About blocking the sex?" "That stuff about me not being a black belt is not true." "Yeah, I can fix that." "How'd it turn out?" "What?" "Slow down." "Guys, guys, guys!" "Slow down, Colonel." "Say again?" "I'll be right there..." "So...?" "Let me tell you, Jack." "I don't mean to laugh about it, but she was... 15 going on 150." "Believe me." "I mean, she was..." "You would never know it." "Never know." "I was fooled completely." "I mean, I've had a few of them." "Anyhow..." "You do believe me, don't you?" "Yeah, I believe you." "Anyway, so I take her home... and I got her there and..." "I tell her not to do so much coke." "She must've done 20 lines in 5 minutes!" "It's like a vacuum in her nose." "Just going up like crazy." "Anyway, she's got all this stuff going on." "Next thing you know, she stopped." "Something must have broken up there because blood poured everywhere." "Pouring out." "You thought she was older..." "You didn't do anything..." "She was just at the..." "She was at your place." "You didn't do anything, right?" "Right." "Nothing." "You didn't do anything?" "Not a thing." "You know me, Jack." "You didn't do anything?" "No, I didn't do anything." "But they... foud something at the house." "What?" "There's something that's..." "Jack, it's my fucking weakness." "They're so small and they're so cute, and they're so adorable." "I just can't help it when they're so cute and adorable." "Jack, listen." "I don't touch them, Jack." "Not in any way." "Honestly." "Jack, please!" "Now you think I'm an asshole." "Jack, let me tell you this." "I love you, Jack." "I'm your friend." "There's one thing I want you to do, though." "Jack, come on." "Tell me that you'd be my friend." "Just tell me, am I your friend?" "Jack, am I your friend?" "I do." "I do too." "I now pronounce you man and wife." "I'm dying to do a movie with you." "I know you are." "It's such an important thing in my life." "I spoke to Jack." "You know, I spoke to him, but..." "I tell you what comes to my mind." "What comes to mind is, I am the ultimate Latin lover." "There's no Latin lover like me." "Once you get Maurice as the Latin lover..." "That's so great, you guys!" "It's a chance for me to run the store my way." "Get them off my back." "We're getting a house." "Exactly!" "I'm going to run the store my way." "Are you moving to Bakersfield?" "Soon?" "Aren't you folks from Bakersfield?" "You guys, we're losing these two!" "They're moving to Bakersfield." "Big promotion." "You look at the movies and say, "Hell, I can do that."" "I can do it." "It's a little more complicated than that." "It's a tough racket." "Dirk!" "You made it." "How you doing?" "Good." "Who's that?" "Hi." "I'm Johnny Doe." "You're Dirk Diggler?" "It's great to meet you." "Johnny's the new boy on the street." "He's interested in show business." "He's very tired." "He's shy, you know?" "So, I can tell you it's a tough business." "You got a great kisser." "There's a lot of work involved." "A lot of people." "We all have to work our buns off." "You know what I mean?" "I mean, it takes 15, 16 guys just to... do the lighting." "This crystal, man, you just want to do bumps." "Shut up, man." "Hey, you guys." "What?" "Just saying, "Hey."" "Yeah, whatever." "You all right?" "It's getting me fucking high." "It's that carpet dope." "It's the kind of dope they used to put carpet in." "They'd mix it up in the bathtub." "While they're mixing it they'd drop in a hunk of carpet into it." "It's a lot better than that pink shit." "That pink shit's weird." "They put fish scales in that shit." "Fuck." "You look good." "You're ready." "You're ready!" "Come on." "You ready?" "I'm born ready." "Come on." "I'm ready to shoot." "20 minutes." "No." "I'm ready now." "It's got to be now." "20 minutes, babe." "Fuck it." "No." "I'm ready to shoot." "My cock is ready." "I want to fuck." "Let's go." "20 minutes." "I want to fuck." "Who'll it be?" "Who do you want to start?" "Me or him?" "Me?" "What?" "Shut up, okay?" "I didn't do anything to you." "You're not an actor!" "You got no business here!" "You're not an actor." "Yes, I am!" "Knock it off." "No!" "I'm an actor, man." "I'm a real, fucking actor." "Shut up, man!" "Stop this Mickey Mouse bullshit." "I want you to go in there." "I want you to cool off." "Just cool off." "And we'll come back and shoot the scene." "I said I'm ready to shoot." "Not now." "I'm not going to tell you again, Jack." "I'm not going to shoot you in the state you're in." "What do you mean "state"?" "State of California?" "I know where I am." "You've been up for two days." "I haven't been up for two days!" "Nevertheless, you look like you haven't been to sleep." "I ain't going to shoot you this way because you don't look good." "You don't tell me anything, okay?" "Really?" "You're not the boss of me." "Yes." "You're the king?" "Yes." "Don't you fucking touch me!" "You shut up too!" "You're not the mother of me." "You're not my boss." "You're not my mother!" "You're not my mom!" "Honey, please don't." "I'll take you home." "I'm ready to shoot the scene." "I want to shoot it." "I'm fine." "I want you out of here!" "It's over." "I'm done." "Listen to me, kid..." "Don't you call me kid!" "I'll fuck you up!" "Want to see me kick some ass?" "I know fucking karate!" "You're fucking fired!" "You are fired!" "You're fired, you goddamn kid!" "Son of a bitch!" "No." "You know what?" "I'm the biggest star here, man." "That's the way it is." "I want to fuck, it's my big dick, so everybody get ready fucking now!" "You know what?" "I don't need this shit!" "You know, fuck you!" "Fuck you!" "Fuck all of you!" "You're not my boss!" "You're not the king of me!" "I am the fucking king of Dirk!" "You're fucking nothing without me, Jack!" "Fuck this man!" "I don't need this shit!" "I'm so sorry." "I'm going to take care of this." "I'll straighten him out." "Okay, Dirk, you ready?" "I was born ready, Nick." "Let's go, man." "Dirk Diggler demo." ""You Got the Touch." Take 7." "Excuse me, Reed." "You got the touch." "You got the power." "After all is said and done," "You never walk, you never run." "You're a winner." "You've got the moves you know the streets." "Break the rules take the heat." "You're nobody's fool." "You're at your best when the going gets rough." "You've been put to the test but it's never enough." "You got the touch." "Think the bass is taking away from the vocal?" "No, not really." "Maybe." "It sounds balanced to me." "It's taking away from my vocal." "Take the bass down and bring up the vocal." "Let's do it, Nick." "You heard him." "Want to take it from the top?" "Yeah, let's try it." "I think we should repeat that again." "It's definitely cool." "Let's lay it down." "Want to lay it down?" "Were we rolling on that rehearsal?" "Is he going to fuck me in the ass?" "Is that what you want?" "It would be nice." "Fuck her in the ass." "Lock and load." "Jack." "I was going to take a pottery class at Everywoman's Village.." "I want to do that." "We'll do that." "Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays at three." "I was thinking something." "I was going to see about taking the GED." "Do you know what that is?" "For high school." "To graduate." "I never got my diploma." "I feel bed." "I think you were right about that." "You should do it, Rollergirl." "Because you know what?" "If you wanted to, you could do anything." "Have your loan application?" "Yes, I do." "Good." "Do you want to follow me?" "Are we going to have any other coverage on this?" "We just keep shooting." "This is video." "We shoot and shoot, then we deal with it later." "Now, Summer, I want you to take Sky's thong off." "That thong thing." "Yeah, actually take it off." "And finger it." "No, that's good." "Lick the thong." "That's really good technically... but it lacks passion." "I want to see some passion here." "Yes, bitch!" "Yeah, that's it." "Lick my balls." "Fuck me!" "Who's your daddy, bitch?" "You'll live." "I'm back!" "Perfect timing." "What the fuck took you so long, man?" "That's what Buck's Super Stereo World is all about: the customer." "Because people want to know what they're getting into technically." "I have the hi-fi background to answer any technical question they have." "I've been in sound equipment long enough... to know what a guy wants when he walks in." "That's the personal touch that" "Buck's Super Stereo World will have." "I miss my two sons, you know?" "I miss my little Andrew... and my Dirk." "I always felt like Dirk was... my baby." "My new baby." "Don't you miss Dirk?" "He's so fucking talented, the bastard." "I love him, Rollergirl." "I really love the stupid jerk." "I love you, Mom." "I want you to be my mom, Amber." "Are you my mom?" "I'll just ask you if you're my mom, okay?" "And you say "yes," okay?" "Are you my mom?" "Yes, honey, I am." "Hold on." "Now, look." "Come on." "All right?" "All we need is the tapes, Burt." "No, you don't get them until you pay." "In our situation that doesn't make any fucking sense!" "We can't pay the price of the demo tapes unless we take the demo tapes to the record company and get paid!" "Exactly!" "That's not an M.P., that's a Y.P. Your problem!" "Come up with the money and I'll give you the tapes." "You're talking above my head." "I don't know this industry jargon." "Y.P., M.P., whatever." "Okay?" "All I know is that I cannot get a record contract." "We cannot get a contract... unless I take these tapes." "And granted, the tapes themselves are yours." "You own them, okay?" "But the magic that is on the tapes... that heart and soul we put into those tapes, that is ours." "And you don't own that." "Now, I need to take that magic and get it to the record company!" "They're waiting." "We were supposed to be there half an hour ago." "We look like assholes right now, man!" "I don't want to do this anymore." "I can't." "Let's have fun now." "Let's just go and go." "Because it's over." "There's too many things." "Too many things." "Too many things." "Let's go walk." "I don't want to leave this room." "Me either!" "I love you, honey." "I love you, Mom." "Let me explain to him... in simple arithmetic." "One, two, three." "Because you don't fucking get it, Burt!" "You give us the tapes, we get the record contract... we come and give you your money." "Have you heard the tapes?" "We're guaranteed a record deal." "Our stuff is that good." "We sculptured." "Now, I understand." "I know you want it to happen." "But it's not going to happen." "Because it's a "Catch 22" and that's it." "What does that mean?" "What is a "Catch 22"?" ""Catch 22," gentlemen." "Think about it." "You know what I'm thinking about?" "I'm thinking about kicking some fucking ass in here, man!" "Scotty, get him out of here!" "Thanks a lot of backing us up too." "Real good." "Fuck!" "We can't help you." "I have all the papers, though." "I mean... everything's in order?" "Yes?" "Yes." "But we can't give you a loan." "I'm sorry." "I don't understand." "Why can't you give me the loan?" "Mr. Swope, you're a pornographer." "The banks is not in business to support pornography." "I'm not a pornographer, though." "I'm an actor." "I'm sorry." "Look, this is a new business for me." "All right?" "It's a real thing that I want to do." "It's a real thing that I can do." "Please!" "I'm sorry." "We did everything right." "It's okay." "Just wait a minute." "Let's just take a minute, okay?" "Look, you have something to say." "I have something to say." "All right?" "So let's just talk." "If there is something that I didn't fill out correctly on this... or something that I left out, or that you want me to write on there just tell me what to write on there." "I'm sorry." "You're not being fair!" "This isn't fair." "This financial institution cannot endorse pornography." "Stop saying that!" "Quit saying "pornography"!" "Why are you doing this?" "I'm an actor!" "I'm sorry." "I am an actor!" "Who's your daddy?" "How is it?" "What it is, what it is." "Suck that cock, bitch." "So, you must be Maggie?" "Kathleen O'Malley." "I'm the judge." "You have a lawyer with you?" "No, I don't." "Hello, Judge." "Good morning, Counselor." "You've been divorced for 6 years?" "Since 1977." "And the agreement on the money settlement has been taken care of?" "." "Yes." "What we're talking about, then, is coming to an agreement on the custody... of Andrew." "What was decided on during the divorce?" "Well, initially, Andrew was to go with his father... for visitation, with his mother... from Saturday noon to Sunday at seven." "With his mother entitled to bring Andrew to her house... or any reasonable place." "Was that the understanding?" "Why wasn't that visiting privilege honored, then?" "It was." "For a while." "I only saw him twice." "It said, "reasonable place."" "I don't think that a house of drugs, prostitution and pornography was that." "I'm sorry?" "My wife is in the pornography business." "I didn't think that environment was safe for my son." "No, this is not right." "My son was never exposed to pornographic material, drugs or any of those things." "My husband just assumed..." "I saw it with my own eye, Maggie." "Did you register a complaint?" "My client didn't officially register, Your Honor." "But I think the circumstances call for immediate action... for the safety of the child." "The problem Judge, is that my ex-wife..." "She's a sick person, and she needs help." "She deals in sex and drugs for a living." "No, I don't do drugs." "Your Honor, she has been in and out of trouble with the law... on several occasions for this sort of thing." "No, not anymore." "No." "Have you ever been arrested?" "Yes." "When was the last time you were arrested... and what was the charge?" "Okay, let's get ready for this experiment." "Hi, Jack Horner here." "I'm in the back seat of this beautiful limousine, riding along west on Sherman Way." "And beside me... is a beautiful, talented, gorgeous young actress... from adult cinema, Miss Rollergirl." "Hi." "Hello." "Howdy." "Are you ready to get on with this experiment?" "Ready." "Ready like Freddy." "Yes." "And we're going along, like I said, west on Sherman Way... and this is called "On the Lookout." That's the name of this show." "On the lookout for a young stud... who, maybe, will get in the back seat here... and get it on with Rollergirl." "And we're going to make film history... right here on videotape." "Hello." "Waiting for someone?" "Yeah." "I'm waiting for somebody, but I'm not sure if they're going to show up." "You want to wait in the car?" "Cool." "I'm Joe." "Dirk." "You know who I am?" "No." "My name's Dirk Diggler." "No." "I mean, you're a guy." "I'm just helping you out." "Yeah." "What do you see here?" "Well, I see a girl." "Do you like what you see?" "Yeah." "Yeah, I do." "All right." "Get in." "Get in... and let's make film history." "What do you want to do?" "It's what you want to do." "I want to watch you." "I mean, I'm not gay, I just want to..." "Maybe you could jerk off a little, and I could watch." "Maybe I'll join in later, but for now, I just want to watch." "20 bucks." "10 is all I have." "You go to school?" "Yeah." "Yeah, I do." "Where do you go to school?" "Is it okay if I don't tell you?" "Yeah, that's cool." "You recognize Rollergirl from films?" "Yes." "We watch her films a lot at my frat house." "I go to..." "I go to CSUN." "Wonderful!" "The guys will never believe this." "We've done a whole bunch of films together, Rollergirl and I." "Do you remember me?" "We went to school together." "Your name's Brandy, right?" "Brandy's your name, right?" "No." "I don't know what you're talking about." "Your name's not Brandy?" "Can you do it harder?" "Faster, do it a little faster." "All right!" "Now you're hiding her again." "Just get on the other side." "That's it." "Just nice and sexy, you know?" "Now, listen pal!" "You got to make it a little more sexy." "Don't just ram it in there like that." "This is not a hole in the wall, pal." "This is Rollergirl." "Faster." "Do it faster." "Get your hand wet." "Be quiet." "Can you be more sexy?" "Like that?" "Cinematically sexy." "Just don't ram it." "Be respectful." "This is Rollergirl." "Are you listening to me, kid?" "I know what I'm doing." "This is stupid, Jack." "Okay." "That's it." "Hold it." "Cut." "Pull over." "I can't fucking believe this!" "Jesus!" "You gave me a hard-on." "The last you could do is jack me off." "What the fuck did you say?" "I said it's not that cool to leave me with a hard-on." "Well, fuck you!" "I don't fucking believe this." "A fine life you've made for yourself!" "." "You really should be proud." "I mean, really." "Fucker." "Fuck you!" "And your fucking films suck now, anyway!" "Come on!" "I can't." "I can't get it hard, all right?" "I just can't." "I'm sorry." "You just shouldn't do this sort of thing, faggot." "Get out of the car, man!" "Jesus, man." "No!" "Jack." "Get him out of the fucking truck, man!" "You shouldn't be coming down here!" "Jesus Christ!" "Get off him!" "You like that?" "Amateur fucker!" "You don't ever disrespect me." "You don't ever disrespect me, you fucker!" "Look at you now!" "That's what you get, faggot!" "You think you can fuck?" "You can't fuck me, you fucker!" "You can't touch me, you fucker!" "You don't do this, donkey-dick." "You don't!" "Fucking faggot." "You don't ever disrespect me, you fucker!" "You fucking piece of shit!" "Fucking die, you shithead!" "What do you want?" "I want an apple fritter, jelly... chocolate with sprinkles and... a bear claw too." "A bear claw?" "Okay." "Yeah." "And hurry." "How's my little kung-fu fighter?" "He's kicking ass inside my stomach." "See, that's a boy." "I'll be right back." "What's up?" "Can I help you?" "Yeah." "I'm going to get a dozen." "Let me get a couple of bear claws." "Couple glazed." "Apple fritter!" "Not that one." "The one in front." "Yeah, that one, that one." "Two chocolate." "Old-fashioned." "Give me two of those." "Did you do this for the Christmas?" "That's cute." "Yeah, give me two of those... sprinkly Christmas things." "That's great." "How many is that?" "That's eleven." "All right, empty the cash register now, motherfucker!" "And hurry up!" "Jesus Christ!" "Shut the fuck up!" "Hurry up with that shit!" "No, motherfucker." "Empty the safe too, asshole!" "And I ain't got all night!" "Don't even move." "I'm not moving." "Shut up!" "Don't fucking move, man!" "Shut the fuck up." "Don't do that!" "No, no!" "You shut the fuck up!" "All right, this could be the thing." "Something to help us score a little extra cash." "The guy's name is Rahad Jackson." "He's got more money than God." "He's got twice as much coke, crank, and smack." "All right?" "This guy's going to buy about anything anybody wants to sell him." "He likes people hanging around his house, partying, the whole thing." "How do you know him?" "He used to come to Party Boys, Mutrix introduced me." "How will we do it, exactly?" "How would it all go down?" "I'm going to call him on the phone, okay?" "And I'm going to tell him I got a halfkey of quality stuff." "Do you have his phone number?" "Yeah." "I'm going to call him." "I'm going to give him the price." "How much?" "It's half a key." "It's like, 5000 bucks." "We'll split that up three ways." "It's enough to get the Vette fixed." "That's right, man." "We're going to do the deal, we'll drop half a key of baking soda into a bag." "We're going to walk over there, we're going to..." "Boom!" "Right there." "This could be a nifty little bit of hustle-bustle." "Do you have his address?" "Reed, yeah." "I got his fucking address." "Okay, questino." "Sorry." "Hold on." "What if he tests the stuff out?" "He won't." "How do you know?" "Because I know he won't." "I'm positive." "You guys should be careful." "What?" "What do you mean?" "Do me a favor, just mind your business." "What the fuck?" "Sorry." "Anyway..." "Dump it in there good and clean." "You can't lay this all on me." "We're going to go in there." "Okay, this is it." "Fine." "You guys ready for this?" "I am." "Me?" "Yeah." "I was born ready, man." "What the fuck is that?" "A big gun." "No shit, but why?" "Just in case." "Shit!" "Fucking great!" "You never said anything about a gun." "You have a gun too?" "No, I don't have a gun!" "Relax." "Let's just get in and out, all right?" "Not too fast." "It looks suspicious." "Goddamn it!" "You all right?" "Let me do the talking." "Just be cool." "How you doing?" "Come on in." "All right." "Hey, Rahad." "Hello, friends!" "Which one is Todd?" "That's me." "We met before." "At the Party Boys." "Yeah!" "Come on in." "These are my friends here." "Dirk and Reed." "Come on in." "Glad to see you." "Take a seat." "You guys want a little pill, coke, dope?" "I got everything." "Are you sure you don't want something?" "You got something?" "We got something here?" "There it is." "That's about half a key there." "That's quality." "You want to test it?" "Don't worry about him." "Go ahead, if you want to." "Wait a second." "I love this part." "Hear that build." "Fucking love that song!" "So anyway, what's the price?" "Maybe, I don't know..." "Five grand." "Five grand?" "All right, no problem." "That's cool!" "Five grand?" "Five grand." "You guys want to play baseball?" "No, thank you." "The black guy has a gun in his jacket." "Let's get up and get the fuck out of here." "Count the money in the car." "You want to see something really fascinating?" "Check it out." "That's sweet." "That thing's not loaded, is it?" "Not yet." "Is that silver?" "Let's see what happens here?" "Could you not point the gun?" "You think I can't do it?" "Why?" "You think I can't do it?" "You think I can't do it?" "You want to see me?" "Do you dare me?" "Please!" "No, we don't dare you!" "Fucking dare me!" "Your fucking faces, man." "What the fuck?" "I love this thing." "I make these little mix tapes together." "I put all my favorite songs together." "I love it." "You know when you buy a tape or something, or an album... the bands put them in some fucking order... so you listen in that order." "I hate that." "I fucking hate that." "I don't like being told what to listen to, when to listen to it or anything!" "Fuck it!" "That's Cosmo." "He's Chinese." "That's why he likes lighting off firecrackers." "Ricky Springfield." "He's a buddy of mine!" "Todd, we're leaving, man." "Dirk, let's go, all right?" "Sir..." "We got to split." "You just got here." "Let's hang out." "Let's party." "We got somewhere else to go." "We're not leaving yet." "We're here now, and we want something else from you." "We want something else from you." "What?" "Todd, what are you doing?" "Let's just go." "In the master bedroom... under the bed... in a floor safe." "Understand?" "What the fuck is the matter with you?" "Let's go!" "Shut up, Dirk!" "I told you I got a plan." "I got a very good plan." "Are you kidding me, kitty?" "No I'm not." "See?" "I'm not kidding." "I want what's in the safe." "We want what is in the safe in the master badroom... in the fucking floor in the goddamn fucking floor safe!" "That's all." "Todd, don't be crazy, okay?" "We know nothing about this." "This is not what we wanted." "Shut the fuck up!" "Do not reach for your gun, man!" "Don't reach for your gun!" "He went in the bedroom!" "What the fuck are you doing?" "He went in the bedroom!" "Todd, what the fuck did you go crazy?" "He's got coke and cash in that safe in that bedroom!" "If we leave without it, we're fucking idiots!" "We came here to do something, and we can do it." "Are you with me?" "Todd, listen to me!" "Let's split." "Let's just split right now!" "This was not supposed to be the thing, Todd!" "That's what we goddamn came here to motherfucking do!" "And that's what I'm going to do now!" "Fuck, no!" "Todd, don't!" "Don't be fucking stupid!" "Fuck!" "Go man!" "Come on, you puppies!" "It's coming down for puppies!" "Come on!" "Puppies!" "Come on!" "Oh, shit!" "Fucking son of a bitch!" "Oh, fuck!" "You fucking stupid motherfucker!" "Oh, fuck!" "Jack, could you please help me?" "I guess" "I wanted to come and say sorry, you know?" "I just wanted to know if you could help me." "I need help." "I'm sorry, you know?" "I need help, Jack." "I'm so sorry, Jack." "I'm sorry too, kid." "We all need to start again." "It's okay." "You're all right, baby." "One more." "Let's go." "Please, 11." "Did I hear someone say "deal"?" "This weekend, and this weekend only..." "Buck's Super Cool Stereo Store has super-cool deals on all name brands." "We're open." "We're ready." "All you need to do is walk over, get down and come inside us!" "Word!" "Cut!" "Excellent." "Buck, honey, that was great." "I said shut up, Colonel!" "Shut up, Colonel!" "I said, "Shut up."" "Wait, wait, wait!" "No, that's a "Q!"" "That's supposed to be a "G!"" "Go!" "What the heck?" "Naughty, naughty, Candice." "You ready?" "Push?" "Let's push." "Come on, baby." "Go, go, go!" "Push, push, push!" "I see a head here." "God Almight!" "Fucking Christ!" "No, don't cuss, sweetie." "One more big push for me, all right?" "Last big push for the doctor." "This is it." "Big push!" "I got it." "I got it!" "He got it!" "It's a boy!" "No hurry guys." "Sometime this year." "Put it where I told you to put it." "You've got to turn the fan on." "It smells good, doesn't it?" "No, it smells like shit." "This is Puerto Rican cooking." "Everybody's complaining in the neighborhood." "They're complaining about this." "Taste this." "I can't taste it, not now." "I'll taste it later." "Rollergirl." "Honey, listen to me." "Move the dirt on one side of your to the other side." "One side of the room will look clean that used to look dirty." "It'll be good." "Johnny Weismuller!" "That's my swimmer!" "Say "Hello, Uncle Jack."" "Say "Hello, Uncle Jack."" "Who is the Olympic-fever baby?" "He won't piss in the pool?" "I don't think so." "I got to talk to you about the stereo modification for this system." "No technical shit." "If you don't get the modification, it won't be loud..." "No, Buck, loud isn't what I want." "I don't want loud." "I want..." "Mellow!" "That's what I want." "I want mellow." "Great, honey." "Great!" "Are we ready?" "We have got all the time we want." "What are you looking at?" "I'm looking at you." "You're staring." "You know what I'm staring at?" "I'm staring at the foxiest bitch in the whole world." ""I've been around this block twice now." "I'm looking for something." "A clue." "I've been looking for clues and something led me back here." "Yeah." "So, here I am." "Could have been me that was the one at Ringo's when the shit went down." "Hey, I know how it is." "I've been there." "We've all done bad things." "We've all had those guilty feelings in our heart." "You want to take your brain out of your head, wash it and make it clean." "Well, no." "But I'm going to help you settle this." "First, we'll check for holes, see what we can find." "Then we're going to get nice and wet." "And you're going to spread your legs." "That's good." "So, you know" "You know my reputation." "13 inches is a tough load." "I don't treat you gently." "That's right." "I'm Brock Landers." "So, I'm going to be nice." "So, I'm going to be nice." "I'm going to ask you one more time." "Where the fuck is Ringo?"" "I am a star." "I'm a star." "I'm a star." "I'm a star." "I'm a big, bright, shining star." "That's right."