"April, 1928." "My God, help Dad." "Dear God, you can do anything." "So please make Dad well." "Make me calm." "God, I beg you, help me." "And make Dad well." "God in heaven, amen." "DIARY" "In ten minutes, it will be 11:30 PM." "Al!" "the candles are burning." "Everything is so beautiful." "I feel sad." "I want to write everything down that happened to me in 1929." "I didn't do well at school." "Failed three subjects." "Dad fell sick." "I traveled alone to my aunt in Germany." "And Dad died." "My friend Maude died." "Grandpa died." "Uncle Amandus, Aunt Jenny and a cousin died in an accident." "That's all I remember." "Al!" "I wish for now is a happier new year." "What will the new year bring?" "I am Ingrid." "This is my story." "Looking back on my life, who will I see?" "What will be left?" "I've always saved everything." "Filled all kinds of boxes and suitcases." "So I'll always have my memories with me." "Only a few members of my family knewl was leaving." "My friend Mollie and darling Patter waved me off from Bromma." "I flew to London, then sailed to the Hollywood dream factory." "I signed up for five years with Selznick International Pictures," "United Artists, Hollywood." "Darling Mollie, you were so sweet, waving like two mice at Bromma." "Thank you for coming, Mollie." "You helped us ease the pain of saying good-b ye." "This trip is an incredible experience." "From Bromma to Hollywood." "Look after Pia and Petter." "Last night, a man at the table said to me," ""You'll never be an actress." "You're too tall. "" "I said to myself," ""He knows nothing about me."" "Spring has arrived in Résunda, at the Swedish cinema studios..." "Today I was a film extra." "It felt wonderful passing those gates." "It felt like walking on holy ground." "Everyone was talking about theater and films." "It was my first time, but I hope I'll get to do it many more times." "You went to theater school." "How did you end up in cinema?" "At the end of my first year at theater school, during the summer holidays, I recited poems to Karin Swanstrbm, and she hired me for the film Munkbrogreven." "I suppose you'll be back late?" "No, just going out for some fresh air." "Why?" "Take the front door key." "So you don't wake up The Beast if you come back late." "Thanks." "Evening." "Good night." "I left that splendid theater school to enter the world of film." "I should feel grateful to have been on stage so young." "But I love the freedom I feel in front of the camera." "I hope I've not made a mistake, and that one day I 'll be a great actress." "Can I say that you look pretty this evening?" "Am I not pretty every evening?" "Sure." "But there is something extraordinary tonight." "There's a rumor I'm the biggest talent around." "My classmates have no work, and the studios are fighting for me." "It scares me to think about it." "I hope I don't disappoint them." "I've made ten films in five years." "Major roles - Intermezzo, Swedenhielms and Dollar." "I hope I've not become vain." "I'm lucky to have Petter." "What would I be without him?" "My sweet darling, my everything on earth, my one and only love." "Only five hours before I see you, and 11 days until our wedding." "How will I cope?" "If only I could kiss you, really kiss you, time and time again." "Say you?" "!" "never leave me." "I'll never leave you." " You look nice." " Easy for her." "She's doing well." "What did you say?" " You've got a good position." " Say that again." "I have what?" "Are you gonna worry us too?" "What do you mean?" "I'm sick of my work." "Every day, eight hours of drawing..." "Lots of people were scared." "Not just in the studio, everywhere." "My German colleagues were worried about what was going on in the country." "Petter met me after the shoot." "We set off on a trip around Europe." "I always have my camera with me." "I love to film." "I got that from Dad." "He filmed me." "Now I film the world." "Sometimes Petter films, but it's mostly me." "September 22, 1938." "Petter and I have had a little girl." "We want to call her Pia " "Patter, Ingrid, Aron." "The heart of the film world had contacted me a couple of times, but this time I accepted." "David O. Selznick, the producer of Gone with the Wind, wants me to be in a new version of my big success Intermezzo." "Selznick's agent here, Kay Brown, found a diva who'd just given birth." "She said they'd wait however long it took, as long as I still want to go to America." "You bet I do." "America." "At last." "I was driven to Selznick's house." "Here I'm to stay." "His wife, Irene, greeted me." "Then David Selznick arrived." "He sat, looked at me, praised my English, then left." "The Selznicks threw a party." "I was guest of honor." "I sat there alone, in my old pink dress with puffed sleeves." "It is very elegant." "I watched people arriving." "Clark Gable, Joan Bennett, Cary Grant, Gary Cooper." "I was so happy I couldn't speak." "To think that I, a girl from Stockholm, was here, surrounded by film stars." "Dear Mollie," "I've met two fantastic women who will help me in Hollywood." "Ruth Roberts, a voice coach, is going to teach me to speak perfect English." "And Irene Selznick, who's helping me understand this strange but incredibly exciting environmenl." "Kiss Pia for me." "I miss her so much." "I'm coming home after the shoot." "I am so happy we're all together again." "Al!" "together in America." "I go to Rochester at the end of evely shoot, and my husband comes here when he's on holiday." "Pia lives with both of us." "Sometimes with me, sometimes with him, but I stayed nearly a year in Rochester." "I was there last winter." "January 11, 1941." "I would've given anything to do Dr. Jeky" and Mr. Hyde." "Will I ever get a better part than the little whore Ivy Peterson?" "Or a better director than Victor Fleming?" "I've never been so happy." "I fee!" "like I'm flying." "I live a solitary life when I'm working." "I live at the studio." "I haven'!" "had a day off in 14 weeks." "I don't have time to go home to Rochester." "Pia is very happy with her dad." "It's another six weeks before the end of the shoot." "I won't have seen Pia for six months." "But one can't have everything." "Dear Ruth," "I'm very busy, as usual." "A home, a husband, children - It should be enough for any woman." "I thought I '0' get a new role soon after Jekyll and Hyde." "But I've had nothing in four months." "It's two months too long." "I think about every day that's wasted." "Only half of me is alive." "The other half is packed away in a suitcase, suffocating." "What should I do?" "Hollywood, July 5, 1942." "My dearest Mollie," "At last I'm working again." "I'm working on a film cal/ed Casablanca." "An exciting film." "Humphrey Bogart is the male lead, if you know who he is." "He's interesting, not the typical 'jg/amour boy."" "A lot of men have gone off to war." "It's difficult for producers to find actors, cameramen and directors." "How can this madness continue like this?" "Things are good for me, Mollie." "I'm so happy." "They write and say such lovely things about me, I could cry for joy." "I've everything I always wanted." "It's incredible when your dreams come true." "June 14, 1945." "I'm going on a big adventure." "I'm off to Europe." "I'll travel around, entertaining American troops in France, Italy and Germany." "People are strolling on, ce again down the Champs-Elysées to the Place de la Concorde." "The French are free in a free Paris." "Dear Ruth, I've met someone who means a lot to me." "He's Robert Capa, a famous war photographer." "We traveled from Paris to Berlin together." "I've fallen in love." "Write to me that you'll be kind and heartbreakingly beautiful, and that you'll chill a bottle of champagne for March 15." "Don't sign hundreds of contracts that will make you less of a person and more of an institution." "You must be careful." "Success is more dangerous and corrupting than misfortune." "I've just called you, my darling Swedish girl in Hollywood." "I love you truly." "Monday morning." "Everyone's tired." "November, 1945." "Mollie, my friend." "We're hard at work on Hitchcock's Notorious" "He's so talented." "Every day with him is pure happiness." "He brings out the best in me, things I never imagined I possessed." "He mixes serious with humor, comedy with drama." "I thought Cary Grant would be conceited and stuck-up, but he's one of the nicest costars I've ever worked with." "Dear Ruth," "Petter knows what's going on between me and Capa." "I haven't denied it." "Bob sometimes comes to Hollywood for work." "We meet, but I know he'll never tie himself down." "He's always off somewhere." "His Hungarian influence has been good for me." "I feel it has changed me inside." "We're drinking our last bottles of champagne." "I'm breaking off a precious part of my life." "But one learns." "We're performing the operation so well, both patients will live happily ever after." "I was tiny when I first read Joan of Arc." "Then I started collecting books, medals, statuettes." "I went to France to see the places she had been." "I think it was because of her youth and... her courage." "The way she obeyed those voices." "It's very moving." "It's like a bird of passage has always lived inside me." "Since I was tiny, I've longed for something new and different." "I he ve seen so much, yet if it is never enough." "I've tried to put up with daily sadness and be happy." "I never understood the kind of happiness I was longing for." "When Petter and I were apart, during his studies," "I wanted a house with a pool and all those things the stars have." "We finally got a house." "We fixed it up the way we wanted." "But then that bird of passage started to flex its wings again." "I saw Rome, Open City in Hollywood." "I liked it very much." "It stayed with me." "But I didn't know how to contact Rossellini." "I thought it might be a fluke." "It's possible to do a great, magnificent film, followed by a flop." "So I waited until one day, in New York," "I saw another of Rossellini's films." "It had the same effect." "I realized he truly was a great artist." "So I wrote the letter saying I wanted to work with him." "Dear Mr. Rossellini," "[I saw your films Open Cm] and Paisan and enjoyed them so much." "If you ever need a Swedish actress who speaks very good English, a little German, who can make herself understood in French and can only say "ti amo" in Italian, then I'll come and make a film with you." "Ingrid Bergman." "INGRID BERGMAN SHOOTS ON TOP OF A VOLCANO" "April, 1949." "We 're filming on a tiny volcanic island called Stromboli} far away from the newshounds and paparazzi." "It's so beautiful here." "So peaceful." "If Hollywood could see me." "The whole island is involved in the shoot, as extras or actors, others help the film crew." "Darling," "I wish I could fly home on a big bird instead of writing." "Instead!" "'!" "I talk to your photo here in front of me." "My dear Pia, our life is going to change." "It's hard to tell you this because our life together was wonderful." "Never forget that I love Daddy and I love you." "We belong together." "That will never change." "But sometimes we want to live with someone else." "It ends with a separation." "Or a divorce." "It happens often." "But ifs painful." "Write to me, and I'll write back." "I hope time will pass quickly and we'll see each other soon." "Mama." "Petter." "Would you send me a few of my things?" "My parents' portraits..." "I miss them terribly." "I love the one of Pia too." "One day, I'll ask you for all my treasures." "I've lots of room." "But that can wait." "The only problem will be our 16 mm film." "Maybe you 'll lend it to me, so I can see what I looked like in my youth?" "I'll always keep this diary and hide it away." "I'm 14 years old, two months and three days." "I was born on August 29, 1915." "My parents were Friedel Adler and Justus Bergman." "They baptized me Ingrid." "I was spirited, boisterous, stubborn and wild." "My mother died in 1918, of jaundice." "I have no recollection of her." "Only photos." "My father died 12 years after my mother;" "on July 29, 1929, of cancer." "I'm head of my school's theater club." "I like dancing and being popular." "There it is." "That's the house." "Slow down." "We can't go in." "So we'll have to look at it from out here." "Let's stop here, on the right." "Ingrid was like a big sister to me." "I was her little sister." "That was how we felt to each other." "She took me under her wing straightaway." "I think it was because she left Pia in America." "She liked talking to someone the same age as Pia." "Then of course I grew up, became an adult, and we became good friends with each other." "We had a very strong friendship." "One day, my mother said to me," ""You should go to Fregene because Ingrid Bergman's there."" "A cousin of mine had a villa there." "My uncle Roberto and Ingrid were hiding in that villa as there were too many paparazzi in the hotels." "I was in the garden, waiting for them to call me." "I was looking for pine kernels, you know." "I was sitting on the ground." "Suddenly, I saw two feet." "Her feet." "I went..." "It was her." "She was smiling at me." "That's how we met." "It made her laugh that the first thing I met was her feet." "When was your last time in front of a camera?" " It was for Stromboli" " You said you'd never do another film." "I said that because it was a terrible time." "But... all wounds heal." "I understand." "I want to work again." "I have hours of film." "Sometimes it's boring." "All parents film their children for three hours doing the same thing." "But her films are funny and very touching." "Her father gave her the importance of memories." "The fact she didn't have a brother or sister was sad for her." "Then she lost her father, who she loved dearly, so soon, so young." "He must have been fantastic, as he adored her." "He was very affectionate, present, and he adored her." "That was very important for Mama." "The Swedish-Italian children of Joan of Arc are here." "Roberto Rossellini has come with Ingrid Bergman to Stockholm where she will play Joan of Arc." "The play is on tour and they're arriving from Barcelona." "The Rossellini children aren'!" "Very interested in their mother's stake." "They prefer Swedish wooden horses." "During my 16 years abroad," "I never stopped hoping I'd return to the stage in Sweden." "THE FALL OF A STAR" "That hope evaporated." "APPEARING FOR MONEY" "BLAZING SPEECH BY INGRID BERGMAN" "Of course an actress must put up with criticism." "I'm not saying the contrary." "Is it because I came back after all those years?" "I have known success, fame..." "I have won awards, not for my character, not as a human, not because I'm a nice Swedish person." "I don't think the awards I won were for that, but for the films I made in America and Italy." "No man is a prophet in his own country." "I've come back to Sweden." "It's not the first time someone returns and discovers that criticism in their own country is harsher than abroad." "Dearest Ruth," "It's so beautiful here." "Lots and lots of snow." "Once they got used to it, the children loved it." "I have found all my friends." "Fiorella, Roberto's niece, is here with us." "I like her so much." "She's like Pia to me." "Roberto isn't here much in Stockholm." "He's planning to shoot in Spain and then in France." "I'd love to work in France." "I hope someone will ask me one day." "I've recently had four offers from America." "A film by Billy Wilder with Gary Cooper." "I'd love to accept, but... not in Hollywood." "Elena and Her Men..." "It's Ingrid Bergman." "It is Ingrid Bergman acting in a different way than we're used to seeing." "I wanted to film her in a comedy." "I felt she needed it." "I thought it was the right time in her career for her to play comedy." "He wanted a tragic love story." "One day he said: "I want you to have fun and make people laugh"" "And he created Elena" "Jean likes to laugh." "Yes. yes!" " So do you!" " Yes, I do." "Was it easy to work with him as director?" "Yes, it's easy, because he loves his actors so much, and he's so enthusiastic and present." "When he watches us play a scene, he plays it out too." "He's really with us." "Tonight the drinks are on the house!" "It's not very strong." "I'm used to vodka." "It's much stronger!" " What does vodka smell of?" " Nothing!" "I prefer red wine!" "You can drink more!" "Papa went to India in 1956, so he wasn't around." "So we all went to Paris with Mama." "We lived in an enormous suite in the famous Raphael hotel." "Everything was perfect, very luxurious." "The hotel's concierge looked after me." "It was probably unusual, not quite the norm, but still..." "It was fun. it was a good time." "You don't complain when you're living in luxury." "Dear Mollie," "I'm acting on stage here in Paris." "It's a funny play." "Roberto is still filming in India." "My friend Kay Brown has decided to find me a role in an American film." "She has sent me the play Anastasia." "The director Anatole Li!" "vak wants to make it' into a film." "Roberto wasn't pleased." "He made a terrible scene and threatened to drive his Ferrari into a tree." "But I've made up my mind." "I must do the kind of films I feel comfortable with." "Irene, darling," "Pia has come to Paris, at last, after five years." "Pia's plane was surrounded by journalists and paparazzi." "But we had a moment to ourselves in the plane." "We were so happy to be together again." "She's 18 and visiting Rome for the first time." "Since she was ten, she hasn't seen her mother for more than two weeks running." "The three Rossellini children are in Santa Marinella." "Roberto Rossellini is filming in India." "The tabloids there are very busy with him." "Ingrid looks very happy-." "She's a good mother, a loving wife, devoted to her family." "The youngsters dance on the terrace." "I pretend I'm old and lie down." "Not because I feel old, but it's pan of the game." "Anyway, I'm so happy." "I prefer to be alone." "Ifs turned out better than we hoped for." "Pia likes it here." "She's so open." "She likes everything." "She's kind to the younger ones." "The first day, she said she wouldn't come back next summer." "But the second day, she said, "Why stay in America when it's so wonderful here?"" "We try to make each day like a party." "I can't tell you how happy I am." "The proceedings between Ingrid Bergman and Roberto Rossellini..." "Dear Ruth, I experienced such happiness with Roberto, but such misery too." "I tried so hard to live with him." "But I know my life has changed." "He has left me." "He's going to have a baby with a woman in India." "I fee!" "strangely relieved." "Imagine a child going through his parents' divorce but amplified by dozens of photographers." "It was difficult, very hard." "I have photos of us children taken by the paparazzi, besieging the car, and we're clearly terrified." "Lars is such a fantastic man, Ruthie." "I'm so happy" "This time I think I've found the right one." "Third time lucky." "Isn't it funny that he's Swedish?" "We're so alike." "I feel full of hope." "I think my youngest children will accept him." "Pia will be more upset and surprised." "I change everything in my life." "It takes time to adapt to change." "I've been very busy this winter, moving and adapting to my new home and my new life." "Will you be staying at home?" "No." "I'm at home now because it's a lot of fun." "I think that next winter, I'll be in a film or on stage." "I don't have any projects." "We had the villa at Santa Marinella, which was like paradise for us." "I was practically born there." "I grew up in that house." "When our parents split up," "Papa couldn't keep the villa, so it was sold." "For us, it was horrible." "We felt like Adam and Eve chased from paradise." "Leaving Santa Marinella was as brutal as that." "Then a miracle." "They do exist." "Mama met Lars, who had an island in Sweden." "That island was marvelous." "We were so happy there." "I absolutely loved it there, and my mother loved it too." "Sometimes we need a bit of stability in life." "Everything changes in life - we grow old, divorce, change jobs." "And we need a place where we can say," ""This is something that will never change."" "Dannholmen." "Lars's island." "So secluded." "In summer, everything's so clear, it glitters." "The sea, the rocks, the sky." "When I first came here, we sat in front of the house, and I said," ""I love your island."" "Lars replied, "Good." "Let's gel married then."" "Mama lived in Paris." "We lived in Rome." "She came when she could." "We saw Dad for Sunday lunch, even if he wasn't always exactly present." " No, he wasn't..." " But he called..." "True." "His phone calls went like this - "Hi, are you okay?"" ""Good." "Pass Isa."" ""Hi, are you okay?" "Good."" "His phone calls were like that." "Several times a day." "Mama came whenever she could." "We went to Paris for holidays." "Sometimes she came." "I missed her a lot." "I was very attached to my mother." "I adored her." "I used to cry when she left, and I wouldn't eat for several days." "When I became a mother, I realized that children physically need their mother there." "Absence is too hard." "My favorite moments were like a reward - from time to time, all three of us slept with her." "To me, it was the best thing that could happen in the world." "My career has always been important." "When they were little, I took them with me." "But it was difficult when they started school." "I do regret it, but I don't think my Italian children suffered because of it." "We were always so happy when we met up again." "They liked the idea of coming to meet their mother." "I went back to Italy every month when I wasn't working." "But when I was on stage, I was away for seven months - one month for rehearsals and six for performances." "But they came to see me whenever it was possible." "I often told myself there was a positive side." "I was like a friend to my children, more than a mother saying, "Brush your teeth." "Go to bed." "There's school tomorrow."" "I think I was more of... a friend than a mother." "Dear Mollie," "I'm in Rome to see the children." "I'm faced with the worst imaginable thing." "Isabella has scoliosis." "I can't understand it." "She looks so healthy." "It's as though my heart is paralyzed." "AFTER A 21 YEAR ABSENCE, NEW YORK WELCOMES BACK INGRID BERGMAN" "We're going to have to talk to them." "Is that okay?" "But I have feelings too." "If she wants to sulk..." "If the girl wants to sulk, even though she's asked her..." "My little Eva." " That's all you have to say?" " No." "I'm just very touched." " Did you love it?" " I love you." "I don't understand." "Play another piece." "It's pleasant." " Did I make a mistake?" " No, not at all." "The relationship with my mother was always very intimate, and yet... it's almost contradictory, it was almost a friendship." "When she was very ill and in pain," "I wanted to distract and amuse her but I didn't know how to." "What I did, but also because it interested me, was to get her to tell me episodes of her life." "We spent nights telling stories and anecdotes, laughing together about certain situations." "It did her good." "On one hand because it helped her forget her illness, and at the end she was in a lot of pain," "but also because it was a way of telling people around her her life story." "She always said, "I don't regret anything."" "As her daughter, it hurt." "She didn't regret anything, but we missed her so much." "It's difficult." "Put yourself in my shoes, as her daughter." "Later on, I understood that she thought everyone should be fulfilled, by following their hearts, their passions, by being oneself." "I think that is what she meant."