"OUR DREAMS" "THE ETERNAL RAZOR BLADE" "Love, happiness, your very career, all depend upon a well-shaven chin!" "Just a single stroke!" "A good shave may save your life!" "The Eternal Blade will shave your cheeks perfectly, luxuriously..." "In a single stroke!" "Three blades for a lira, gentlemen!" "Three blades for a lira!" "Three blades for a lira!" "We are able to boast such prices in the face of our competitors  simply because we don't spend money on the kind of advertising  that forces our competitors to raise their prices." "Just look what they're doing!" "Advertising, advertising!" "They don't care about the product, just the advertising." "And who pays?" "Who pays for that useless and superfluous stage show?" "You, you, you!" "All we care about with our Eternal Blade is its quality." "So we can lower our price to just one lira." "Three blades for a lira, gentlemen!" "Three blades for a lira!" "If the blades are eternal, why are there three?" "The other two are for your family, for your loved ones  for your wife." "Yes, it would be a grave error to think that the Eternal Blade  is disposable, either for gentlemen, or for their ladies!" "Shave away, charming maidens." "Shave away!" " Three blades for a lira!" " Three blades for a lira, gentlemen!" "Purchase the Eternal Blade and shave your cheeks like..." "Alright, we've made enough for today." "Why hello, dear Mr. Fiocchi, how are you today?" "Better, because I've found you." "But we are always here, in the town square and the light of day." " Will you sell me one?" " Thief!" "Thief!" "Why?" "We sent you the other 10 bottles, didn't we?" "Yes, and they were just like the other 40, undrinkable!" " Will you sell me one?" " What for?" "!" " To shave my pencils." " Thief!" " There's no need to shout, just come into my office..." " Alright, but I want my money." " Very good, very good." "Let's go." "Dear Mr. Fiocchi, that can't be!" "Surely you must be jesting!" "It's a very precise preparation process, a very important product!" "Look how clear it is, there's no way it could ferment!" " It stinks!" " If your clients have had stomach trouble..." "It must have been something they ate, trust me!" " This is an aperitif, a digestive..." " A tonic, more than anything else." "Oh, it doesn't ferment?" "I want my 1,000 lire by tomorrow morning." "Otherwise I'm going to the police, Dear Mr. Fiocchi promises you that!" "Where will you find 1,000 lire for him by tomorrow morning?" " We'll think of something, Oreste." " Right, we'll think of something!" "This time we'll end up inside, I'm telling you." "Have faith, Oreste." "You know me, I'll get us out of this yet." "Stop thinking about Fiocchi." "He'll go to the police." "Who knows what we put in that aperitif!" "What's this poor woman up to?" "See, Oreste, now it's like you can smell dinner cooking." "You know, I'd make a great advertising specialist." " I could make a killing in advertising." " Not before tomorrow morning." "So, underneath the letters, there will be two neon lights." "One red, and one green..." "Would you look at that!" " Good day, Chief Executive." " Good day." "Mr. Porsci, with all due respect to Tuns  Son, which I truly admire  allow me to make an observation, as an advertising specialist.  that this sign doesn't fit with your most recent marketing campaign." "I would be more than willing, with a small advance of 1,000 lire  to come up with something that is much more consistent." "This is my designer." "We will come up with one or two sketches.." "... that I'm sure will be to your liking." "I know you, you're the one who tried to sell me an aperitif..." "Precisely, Mr. Porsci." "I'm glad you remember me  but my real line of work is advertising and promotion." "We already have a marketing team, please don't waste my time." " What's wrong?" " That Porsci, and then there's my shoes!" "Let them dry out!" ""Big hunt is a success."" ""The industrialist Tuns Junior lives the same daring life..."" ""... as the Kaffir hunters."" ""Tuns Junior has an income of around 107,000 a day."" ""The millionaire hasn't been in Europe since 1938..."" "We're left out in the cold  and all they can do is bother those poor animals." "I wish I was in that rhino's shoes, I'd teach them a lesson alright!" "Tuns Junior, the owner of Tuns Stores..." "It should be me in his shoes." "In the shoes of the rhino or the shoes of the millionaire?" "!" "I think we'll end up in the shoes that are chained together..." "I don't like this attitude of yours, thinking you're so superior..." "I'm tired of this, you can't come up with anything!" " Then get out of here!" " Maybe I will!" "You don't go through with things, you forget about the money problems." "You're not practical." "Your head is in the clouds, it's all imagination!" "Imagination!" "You have no imagination." "No one would think that you've been to prison, you're that cynical..." "What's that supposed to mean?" "The imagination!" "The spark!" "See, Oreste, what was that, a piece of... of newspaper?" "It took a piece of newspaper to make me understand our mistake  with these people from Tuns Stores." "You can't ask for 1,000 lire from people that earn 107,000 a day!" "See what I mean?" "Gentlemen, you can't come in here." "Today they're shooting a commercial  so there's no entry to the public." " I must speak with the Chief Executive." " I'm sorry, but that's not possible." "Good day, Baroness." "Ladies and gentlemen, the goal of Ladislao Tuns  this colossus of our business and of our industry  is quite simple." "To make human beings happy." "Tuns is the fairy godmother that looks over your crib.... ... it is the friend from your youth." "It is the guardian angel of your domestic palace  but even when the time comes, Tuns will not abandon you  it will always be nearby." "In fact, our painted tin mortuary wreaths  our one of our biggest sellers." "Everything you could ever need, at unbeatable prices  and if need be, ladies and gentlemen, in installments!" " Cut!" "How was that?" " Excellent!" " For me it was perfect." "Baroness!" "How wonderful to see you." "Listen, my boy." "For the music in the commercial  I've found a magnificent piece by Vivaldi  the Concerto Grosso in D. Minor." "That sounds perfect, Baroness." "Hey, you!" "Sir, we are ready." "Would you like to take up your position?" "Tighten that up a bit!" "For artistic effect, I think we should replace Mr. Giacchetti with..." " With that gentleman there!" " Me?" "Please excuse me." "Dear Mr. Porsci, here are two tickets for the concert tonight." "Please, be generous, think of my poor musicians." "Thank you, Baroness, you're always thinking of me!" "Okay, I think we're good to go." "It's a shame that the real Tuns isn't here, the colossus!" "The colossus!" "Tuns Senior wouldn't dream of it, he's quite private  wants to live to 100, you know." "It's one of his ambitions." "Myself, I only see his right arm 5 or 6 times a year." "Oh, really?" "How curious." "Are we ready, then?" "Hey, move the backdrop over!" "What are those men doing here?" "I thought I gave precise orders:" "No outsiders allowed in the store!" "See them out." "This way, please." "Silence, please!" " Do you want the man with the beard on the left or right?" " On the left." "Sir, do you not recognise me?" "It's Mr. Moscapelli." "25 years of service, third office down from yours." "Do you not remember?" "Orvieto!" "Orvieto?" "Professor Peruzzi, with the nervous tic." " Peruzzi?" " Yes, the third desk under the window." "Moscapelli and Porsci." "Ah, Moscapelli, yes!" "Very good at arithmetic." "Thanks, but you were always so good at everything." "Sir, I've been meaning to speak with you for a while." "My promotion..." "I have a daughter, Sir..." "Her name is Titi..." "Titi..." "It's only because of her that I dare ask you..." "Very well, leave a note with my secretary." "Is this enough light on me?" "Yes, it's fine!" "Everyone ready?" "And, action!" "There's the exit." "All of these people are being paid, even these porters are being paid." "Who knows how much that charming creature has piled up!" "All of them, making such a racket  running around and being paid for it." "So why should we, who have never done anything wrong  be left empty-handed?" " I wouldn't know." " We need to persevere." "I'm still waiting for that spark." " The spark?" "Yes, the spark!" " 25 years of service?" " Yes, 25 years." "I got married around the same time." " This is Titi, my daughter." " Very pretty." " She's 20." "I have to think of her future, that's why I want a career  a small promotion." "Mr. Porsci, I'm here to leave that note with your secretary." "I know him well." "He's a good man, we went to school together..." "Chief Executive, Sir  I just wanted to say that I've left that note, Sir..." " My promotion... it's for my daughter." " Yes, very good, very good." " You have a daughter?" " Yes." " A young lady?" " Yes." "Well then, Moscapelli, tonight you can take her to the theatre." "A benefit concert." "It will be fun  and you can represent Tuns Stores." "Call this a position of trust." " The theatre, Sir?" " Yes." " Without paying?" " Of course." "Sir, you're just as kind as you've always been!" "How wonderful!" "It's for Titi, you know, that's my daughter's name." "We call her Titi." "Well, how did it go?" "Good, but my head is still buzzing." "You only just started, it'll pass soon enough." "Today Ms. Bertini, the film actress, had an attack of hysterics  she was crying, and crying..." "Then there's the Countess of Latour who had a fight with her fiancé  but then they made up." "Tonight they're dining at the Golden Spider..." "It's funny listening to the woes of all these important people." " You'll see how funny it gets!" " It's so much fun!" " Goodbye." " See you tomorrow." " Good evening, Bernardo." " Good evening." "As usual, you don't use the service door, you walk through the atrium  to see that world of great nobility!" " You need nobility to be happy." " I'm never happy!" "Right, you're looking for the Princes, the Dukes..." " Who do you think you are, anyway?" " Nobody, perhaps I'll die soon..." " But you're in good health!" " Why are you always so rude?" "Of course, right..." "Most people find it charming." " They say there's a good film showing at the Rex." " Yes, the one with Cortese." "If you like, this evening..." " Very well, if you want to." " Of course!" "Ah, my trousers!" "Margherita!" "Margherita?" "Margherita, my trousers!" "Beatrice!" "Beatrice!" "Have you ironed his trousers?" "I'm not made of hands, you know!" "All that woman does is grumble these days." " Hold on, let me help you." " Thanks." "Here's Miss Titi." "What's going on, Mother?" "Tonight you're going to the theatre with your father, we've been given tickets." ""Under the high patronage of the Duchess of Monserto..."" ""... and the Marquis Serati."" "The Chief Executive  wanted your father to Tuns Stores  at this concert tonight." "Quick, you need to get dressed, we just about have enough time." " We'll go to the cinema tomorrow." " Very well, there's no rush!" " Well, are we eating or not?" " They are going to the theatre." "I couldn't care less!" "I'm a paying lodger!" " Do I not have the right to eat?" " No!" "I'm not going to wear the woolen vest." "This is a summer dress, you need the vest." "No, Mother, the woolen vest just makes me look fat." " Excuse me?" " Come in!" "Ah, the party outfit!" "And all for a mass of idiots that won't even look at you." "I don't like you this way, you know?" "Look, Bernardo, I don't see why you should be interfering." "After all, you're not a relative or anything else..." "I know, Ma'am." "I'm not a relative or anything else, I know..." "Where is my silk handkerchief?" "Titi, your coffee." "Quick, before it gets cold." "Mother, I really can't..." "Don't let her go out without eating or drinking something!" "It's too hot, I can't drink it!" "Then we'll put it into another cup and it will cool down." " The pin for my tie?" " Hold it, you're all dirty..." "Mother, I'm going to use some of your Eau de Cologne." "Well, where is it?" "Dress suit!" "Dress suit!" "Here it says that a dress suit is compulsory." " Do you have a dress suit?" " No." " Then they won't let you in!" " Why won't they let me in?" "They send those away who don't have a trim here  it happened to a friend of mine." "What if you take her?" "Yes, Mrs. Margherita with her flowery yellow dress!" "They would arrest her!" "Bernardo, do you not have one he can borrow, even in black?" "Ma'am, if I owned one myself, I wouldn't have waited for you to ask." "I'm sorry too, the poor thing." "Certain clothes are in fashion these days." "Hello?" "Ah, Moscapelli!" "What was that?" "You don't have a dress suit?" "So, no concert." "What?" "No, it's not a problem." " Titi..." " It doesn't matter, Mother." "Titi, tomorrow night we'll go for ice cream at the place where  they have the little band playing, you'll see that it'll be more fun!" "I'll ask him for 5,000." "He wouldn't give me 1,000, but he'll give me 5,000." " He won't even listen to you." " Oh, really?" "Watch and learn, my friend." "Titi, don't be like this!" "Hey, open up!" "No, Mother." "I'm going to bed." "Leave this to me." "Hello?" "No, Ma'am." "The Chief Executive just left." "Is it an urgent matter?" "Just a moment, I'll ask the porter." "Hello?" "Yes, he's just leaving." "Hold on a moment..." "Sir, an urgent call for you." " I guarantee you..." " Stop bothering me!" "Hello?" " Mr. Porsci, have pity on a mother." " Whose mother?" "My daughter, Mr. Porsci, a very delicate girl  who has little joy in her life." "She was so happy over your tickets." " Ah, this must be Mrs. Moscapelli." " Yes, Mr. Porsci." " She has no one to go to the concert with." " And what does this have to do with me?" "You know, she's a very sensitive girl, withdrawn, reserved..." " Oh, really?" " The poor thing is all ready and dressed!" "Do you see what I mean?" "I hope you don't expect me to take her to the concert." "I don't dare ask for much, Sir  but you must have pity on the heart of a mother." "Do something, please do something!" "Yes, very well, Ma'am." "I will, I will!" "I'll send someone to take her to the theatre." "An executive, don't worry, someone respectable, a gentleman." "Just a moment." "Is there anyone in the office?" " No." " Baretti?" " He just left." " Proietti?" " He's gone." "He said yes." "He's sending us an executive, a gentleman..." "Titi, come here!" "Listen to this!" "Some attendant, an engineer, anyone!" "Everyone has left, Sir." " Find someone!" " There's no one here." " I'm here, Sir!" " Do you own a tuxedo?" " Of course, it's my pride and joy!" " But, about this deal of ours..." " Yes, I'm sending someone..." " ... someone you'll be happy with." " ..." "I'll need an advance." " Oh, to hell with it!" "Alright, tomorrow!" " Tomorrow?" "Thank you!" "Oreste!" "Hello?" "Who am I?" "I'm the man he spoke of." "Very good, Ma'am." "And your address?" "Take this down." "Number... write this down." "Number 43, Via della Stelletta." "Who am I?" "The Chief Executive told you..." "I'm someone you'll be very happy with." "My name?" "Who am I?" "But I'm Tuns, Ma'am." "Tuns  Son." " Tuns  Son?" " Son, Ma'am." "Son." "I am none other than Tuns Junior." "I shall be with you in an instant." ""Au revoir"." "Tuns is coming!" "Tuns Junior!" "Tuns is coming!" "Tuns is coming!" " What are you doing, Remo?" " Call me Tuns, I prefer it." "Good evening." " You are Tuns, Sir?" " Yes, I'm Tuns." "Would you like a subsidy, a house in the country, perhaps?" "I presume you would be the person to realise such things, Mr. Tuns." "I'd have to be an idiot if my name was Tuns and I limited  myself to selling sieves." "You're not wrong, Mr. Tuns." "Many things must be changed in this place." "A change of air, my dear fellow." "It smells around here." "When you need anything, just remember:" "Tuns." " You seem like a nice fellow." " You, too." " I'll remember you." " And me, you." "Farewell, good man." "Hey, hey!" "You there, stop!" "Oh, Mr. Tuns, Please excuse me, Mr. Tuns." "Good evening." "Right, have you got it?" "You do a little bow, then:" ""Mr. Tuns, the lady is expecting you." "I'll just go and inform her."" "See how good that bonnet looks?" "I won't wear it!" "Mother, do you really think this is right for going out with Mr. Tuns?" "And then, this dress..." "You always found it so pretty." "To go out with Father, yes." "But now things are different." "They'll only laugh at me." "Perhaps you're right." "Come, Titi." " How is it?" " It looks alright!" "No, this tuxedo is worn out!" "20 lire, are you crazy?" "20 lire in advance." "Here's the bow tie." "If you get the money, will you still go to the concert?" "No way." "As soon as the deal's done, we'll be on our way." "What's that?" "Hey, there's a hole here!" "What hole?" "What are you talking about?" "When you wear a dress suit, you keep your arms down." "Does the 20 lire include the bow tie?" "No, that's 2 lire." "They do it like this, see?" " Mother!" " Never mind, don't worry." " Come and look, she says her hair looks ugly like this." " Ugly?" "Mr. Tuns will be open-mouthed, I promise you." " You'll be the prettiest there." " Margherita, give me a hand." " Where shall I put it?" " Here, next to the armchair." " Do you think he'll be impressed?" " But of course!" " Come on, hurry up." " Hold on, the shoes." "Take your shoes off." "You can hardly smell the mothballs now." "You can, Mother." "And it's all ruined here." "No, I don't want to see him, I don't want to see anyone." "It'll be fine, Titi, I swear." "Fur coats are still fashionable!" "Look at this!" "I won't wear it, Mother, I won't wear it!" "I feel so ashamed I could die." "How unhappy I am!" "I'm going to bed." "Tell him that I'm ill, that I've caught something." " You seem nervous." " It's your shoes, idiot!" "You could have told me that you have tiny feet." "It's you who has giant feet." "Bring up the topic of money as soon as you can." "They are the ones who will offer, they'll beg us to accept." "I hope so, but how can you be so sure?" "I can feel it, people that wouldn't give a penny to a poor man..." "But to a millionaire, everything." "Sit down if you like." ""To my Daddy"" "A smart guy, this Daddy." "Our 32 branches in Italy!" "Daddy sure knows his stuff." "Welcome to our home, Mr. Tuns." "Good evening." "Mr. Moscapelli, yes?" " Yes, from accounting." " So I hear." "A faithful servant." " 25 years of service." " So you could say I've known you for a while." "Very good, Mr. Tuns." "Please excuse me, my daughter is almost ready." "I hope you understand..." "Oh, certainly." "This is my wife." "A modest woman, bless her." "Nice to meet you, Ma'am." " Mr. Tuns, the girl will be here in just a moment." " There's no rush, Ma'am." "And this is Mr. Bernardo Pasca  he also works in the Tuns accounting department." " He stays here as a lodger." " I pay board." "Mr. Tuns, that you've decided to grace us with your presence  to take my daughter to the concert is like... it's like a dream come true." " Do you know why I decided to come?" " Because you're a kind man." "Perhaps, but also to dip a toe into the real world for once." " A toe, I see." " Unfortunately I live very high up." "Perhaps too high up." " Understandable." " Being excessively rich  it isolates, one feels lonely..." " Have you read the newspapers?" " No." "They wrote that my income amounts to 107,000 lire a day." " Should they be allowed to print such rubbish?" " It's not true?" "No, my net income today amounts to little more than 70,000 lire, right?" "Something like that." "But these are just details, the curious thing is the repulsion  the hate I have for money." "It's a physical thing  I don't like carrying it around, even touching it, those filthy notes!" " I won't tolerate it." " Well, I would love to tolerate it." "That's how the world is, Sir." "Therefore I leave all the money issues to him  someone I have faith in." " Oreste?" " Yeah?" " Say hello." "To give you an idea of what kind of person I am  do you know where I found him?" "He was in prison, you see." " Right, Oreste?" " Yeah." "I've redeemed him." "I trust him with substantial sums of money, but that's how I am!" "My aspiration is to come down and mix with the common folk..." "By the way, Oreste, did you remember to pick up my book?" " What book?" " The chequebook, Dear." "I told you twice before leaving." "Did you leave it behind?" " We are without a chequebook." " You're nothing but an idiot!" "What are we supposed to do now?" "We have to go to the concert?" "I bet you have no change on you, either." "I don't know, 1,000 lire?" "We are without change." "Idiot!" "What are we supposed to do now?" "Mr. Tuns, we have some savings..." "If you would only allow us to lend you some money..." "What are you saying?" "I wouldn't dream of it." " Please, Mr. Tuns." " Please, don't insist." " Mr. Tuns, if you refuse..." " It will offend us..." " Our dignity..." "What can I say to them now?" "How can I say no?" "Thank you." "Do you see, idiot?" "Do you know what I mean?" "Do you see, Ma'am?" "Do you see why I hate money?" "You condemn it, but all it takes is to leave the house without change  and there you are again, a servant to money." "A slave." "Yes Ma'am, there is no love lost between money and myself." "But perhaps you don't think I'm being sincere at this moment." "My dream is to be a modest person  no millions, no luxury..." "A little house like this one, it's very pretty, Ma'am!" " You have good taste, Ma'am." " Do you really like it, Mr. Tuns?" " A real nest, Ma'am." " I take good care of it." " But it's on the small side." " Better this way, more intimate." "If you would like to see it..." "I'd be thrilled." "There are four rooms, but they're all connected." "Connected, as they should be." "This is our bedroom, very airy." " Very good taste, Ma'am." " Thank you." "This is the lodger's room." "100, 150, 200, 250..." "Over here is the lounge, where my daughter Titi sleeps." "Through here..." "This is a little utility room, very useful." "You have everything you need." "Through here is the kitchen." "145..." "Very spacious." "Please, this way..." "It's a shame that we have little sun, the house gets humid and..." " I'm sure it's cooler in the summer." " Yes..." "I'll go and see what that blessed daughter of mine is doing." "As soon as we get the cash, we'll make an excuse and run." "Here, Mr. Tuns, please accept this modest sum..." " It's only 984 lire..." " No, not to me, to this idiot." " Take it, Oreste." " Sorry that they are all small notes." "It doesn't matter." "This is our daughter." "Come, Titi, say something to Mr. Tuns here." "It's so nice of him to take you to the concert and wait for you..." "She didn't want to come." "She didn't want to be seen by you." "The girl is shy, you see..." "She thought that this dress wouldn't be enough..." "But it looks like new, doesn't it?" "Yes, it looks like new." " Come on." " Don't be like this!" "Wearing a second hand dress can't be that bed..." "Come on, Titi, tears won't help." "Your nose doesn't look nice when it's all red..." "Blessed girl, she's always close to tears!" "I don't think the young lady's nose looks bad at all." " In fact, her dress reminds me of a painting I once saw." " A painting?" "Yes, Ma'am, a beautiful, terrific painting that I saw  now I don't remember where, but it was wonderful." "Perhaps you like to joke, Mr. Tuns..." "We are humble folk..." "I'm sorry you think that I've come here to make jokes." "But that's not who I am." "All I am is a little too rich  a little too sceptical  but I have feelings, too." "Well, feelings, sensibility..." "I'd be very sorry if the young lady didn't believe me..." " Thank you." " For what?" "For understanding." "I thank you, too..." "for understanding." "Mr. Moscapelli, I'm very happy to have met you." "Ma'am..." "I knew that I'd find intelligent, warm and friendly people here." " The meeting!" " What?" " The annual shareholders meeting." " What do you mean?" "The meeting." "We should go, Mr. Tuns  it's extremely important that you attend." "You go, they will be happy with my secretary." "Very good, Sir." " Wait... just a moment, I found it." " What?" "The chequebook, I had it here in my back-pocket all along." "We should give the money back to these people." "Wouldn't it be better to keep it to pay for the taxi?" " But of course, Mr. Tuns..." " Give it back, give it back!" " But, think about Fiocchi..." " Come on, give it back!" "That's all of it!" " As you wish, Mr. Tuns." " Now go, go to the meeting!" "He's mad, this one!" "Mr. Moscapelli, I've never before met a person for the first time  and had such a strong impression that I'd already met them." "The eyes of your daughter give me the impression  that I've seen them before." "You will have seen them at the grand hotel, Mr. Tuns." "Titi works at the grand hotel." "Yes, I remember perfectly, it was at the grand hotel." " You remember?" " Yes." "I was crossing the atrium at the grand hotel  and you were sitting next to the red azaleas." "Yes, I remember perfectly  next to the red azaleas." "The wings..." "Have you ever thought that we have two wings on our shoulders?" " Two wings?" " Yes." "And one fine day they will open to the sun, if only you believe in them." " The young lady understands me." " Yes." " I was sure of it." "Miss, I feel so happy knowing..." "Knowing that there's something in us that is so light and so free  that shouldn't be held back, something that has the right to fly." "Go ahead, eat if you're hungry." "The soup is hot." "Finally, they're leaving." "How can we ever thank you, Mr. Tuns?" " Do you have your handkerchief?" " Yes, Mother." " Let's go." " Have fun, Dear!" " Have fun, Titi!" "Excuse me, Miss." "The Chief Executive has to tell me something in private." "Mr. Porsci, have mercy." "It was just a little joke..." " I know." " I just let them call me Tuns, because..." " I know." " Don't give me away, I'd die of shame." "Just let me find a way to leave with dignity..." "That's what I want, that you leave with dignity, without a trace!" "But right away, this is why I'm here!" "I'll even give you money, an advance!" "For your ideas...." "An advance?" "Yes, I'll even give you double, if you get out of here right now." " No, Mother, you can smell it!" " You can't smell it, you can't!" "You can't smell it, don't worry." "If the Chief Executive is here, it must be something important." "Your millionaire has dumped you already?" "Want to come out with me?" " Get changed, we'll go to the movies." " No, I'm not interested in the movies." "Well, I am!" " The real Mr. Tuns is here?" " Yes, he's here." "And he's a crazy old man that gets angry about everything  and will take it out on me!" " So, if he knew you sent me here, he'd sack you?" " Yes." " He'd fire you?" " But, of course!" " He'd throw you out on the streets?" "Yes, that's why you have to leave!" " I wouldn't dream of it!" " What?" " No!" " You're staying here?" " Yes!" " Are you crazy, drunk?" " Perhaps!" "I have to confess, Mr. Porsci..." "Good evening." "Something extraordinary has happened to me  and I wouldn't let go of it for all the gold in the world." "What if I tell Tuns everything and he has you arrested?" "You wouldn't, that's why you came here to bribe me  you're the one in trouble!" "Pretending to be Tuns, I've taken a little step forward  but while I'm still a nobody, you're the Chief Executive of Tuns!" " But..." " If there's a scandal, it'll come down on your head!" "And I'm used to scandals, have been since I was a kid." "It's simple..." "You're in my hands now!" "I'll let you know my wishes and you'll be kind enough  to grant them." "To make people happy and their dreams come true." " Listen, young man, I'll give you..." " Give me a cigarette, to start." "I'll give it back later." "Come on." "Mr. Moscapelli, I hear that your career could be better." "He still works as a lowly employee in accounting, while his colleagues..." "I think it's time we put right this terrible oversight  committed against such a loyal and hardworking man!" "I name you head of the Tuns accounting department!" " Note that down." " But, no..." "Porsci, in one of our shop windows there's a  a thing... a shiny tiara." "The type 6 tiara?" " Right, bring me one right away." " But, I really..." " Go on!" "Here are the refreshments." "Everyone likes refreshments." "It's made from raspberries that we picked with our own hands." "It's homemade." "The grocer didn't have raspberries, it's tamarind." "A toast!" "To the bands that are now striking up all over the city!" " No, it's coming from the pharmacy just outside." " Same difference!" "To the trains, that are now leaving for beautiful places in the world..." "To the world, that is so very big." "To tomorrow..." "To tomorrow, that will be ours if only we are brave enough." "To life, that is nothing but a bank that doesn't stop giving credit..." "To a country, a country in which  in which everyone has his own little place waiting for him!" "Mr. Moscapelli, I want to do something for your family." "Whatever you wish for, I'll try to make it happen." "Thank you, Mr. Tuns, but I wouldn't know." "We're an old couple now, our hopes are with the girl." "Then perhaps the young lady can tell us what she wishes for." "I wanted to go to that concert!" " Titi, it will be finished by now!" " Of course." "But if the young lady desires, we can go somewhere else." "Yes, Mr. Tuns, let's go..." "Where do you want to go?" "There's a very elegant place, where only very important people go." " The Golden Spider." " Ah yes, that place." "Expensive..." "Yes, very expensive." "I've had to call one or twice for our clients  it must be magnificent." "Then tonight, that's where we shall go." " "..." "lies to good pupils." - "Just for a change."" ""Or even the truth." "They will know that we didn't go to school..."" ""... because the moon was out, because we love each other."" " "Because we don't care about maths." - "Right!" "No more school!"" " "I don't know..." - "If you like, I'll make a desk..."" ""... for both of us and we can go to school for the rest of our lives."" ""Have you ever thought that we have two wings on our shoulders?"" "This is it, pull over." "Excuse me, Miss." "It's my dog, poor thing, he has a cough." " Where's Oreste?" " He's not here yet." " As soon as he gets here, give him this." " What is it?" "A cigarette holder... mine!" "Tell him to sell it right away and bring the money to the Golden Spider." "I really wanted it to flash." "Mr. Tuns, I don't think that will be possible." "I'm sorry, but I might just have to let you go." "Actually, come to think of it, we could definitely do that." "If you would listen to me, Mr. Tuns, it's all my fault  but I couldn't imagine him profiting from your name." "Though, it still seems kind of flat." "Perhaps we could add some flashing clouds..." "We must have him arrested, he's a thief, a scoundrel, a mad man!" "He wants to make people happy, make their dreams come true." "He even wants me to take him a type 6 tiara." "We must have him arrested immediately, it's urgent!" "Urgent?" "Then let's go, Mr. Porsci." "Sir, we're at the Golden Spider." " Wait for me here." " I have to get home for dinner!" "I told you to wait for me here!" "Has Sir reserved a table?" "I'm not in the habit of reserving tables, the name is Tuns." "Mr. Tuns?" "Excuse me, Sir." "Excuse me." "Mr. Tuns!" "Mr. Tuns is here!" "Miss, Mr. Tuns." "We would be honoured if you would dine in our  special suite, reserved only for the most illustrious guests." "The Suite!" "If you would like to follow me." "His Imperial Highness the Regent of Thailandia, one of our guests  recently expressed his great satisfaction with the suite." "I hope it is to your liking." " Yes, it's fine." " Thank you." "My secretary will be here soon." " Should we see him up?" " Yes, it's urgent." "Very good." "Is that clear?" "See him up!" "Please..." "If you should require more privacy." "Allow me, Miss." "Sir, Miss, enjoy your meal." " Some lobster?" " Lobster?" " A little heavy, Darling." " Lobster..." "Sparkling wine?" "Yes..." "I think." "Do you have any half bottles?" "No, Sir!" "Just bring us something light..." "Some canapés with caviar, pheasant in a golden sauce, spicy trout  pineapple in ice, sweets, fruit, spirits?" "Yes, yes... spirits." "Foreign ones!" "Foreign, you know, fine..." "Something expensive..." "Spirits!" "My secretary is on the way, send him up immediately." " It's a matter of great urgency." " Right away, Sir." " Did you expect to find me drunk tonight?" " How come?" "Gold plated brass." " It's so wonderful here, Mr. Tuns!" " Very nice, yes..." " You seem worried, Mr. Tuns." " No." "I was thinking about my secretary, if he doesn't make it in time..." " Just a moment..." " Yes, your secretary." " He will be sent up right away." " Yes, right away." "You must be very attached to that secretary of yours!" "See, Miss, I..." "My secretary possesses almost all of my fortune." "And if this ends up being too much of a temptation for him..." " Let's hope not!" " Indeed." "He might even get hit by a tram." "Ah, Bernardo, we have great news!" "He's been promoted to head of the department!" " Ah, congratulations." " Thank you." "The young Tuns is so kind." "He suggested it, you know?" "So they've gone to the concert?" "No, not the concert!" "They went to the Golden Spider." " Finally, the girl will have some fun." " To the Golden Spider?" "To such a bad place, alone, at night, with a millionaire?" "But it's Tuns Junior!" "Well, you should know." "It's Tuns Junior, I know..." "He promised you a promotion..." "He might even give me a rise..." "But, he kills rhinos for fun  he's deranged, amoral, depraved!" "That's who you've sent Titi with, that's your promotion for you  that shows exactly how much you love your daughter." "Well done!" "The ideas that boy gets!" "A bad place!" "I gentleman like Tuns, in a disreputable locale..." " Absurd, I know." " And, Titi..." " Of course not!" "And to think, half an hour ago I was at home with Mother, Father, Bernardo..." " Well, why dwell on things?" " Yes, why dwell on it?" " Shall we drink?" " Let's drink." "You seem somehow different, Mr. Tuns." "No, no, just a new place..." " But you seem different, too..." " Yes." "I wanted to come here so much  and now that I'm here it's like..." "Forgive me, but it's frightening." "Frightening?" "I know exactly what you mean." "Oreste!" "The taxi driver has left." "He had to get home, you see..." "No, I told him to wait!" "I must always have a car available." "Such horrible people, vulgar..." " Never mind." "Shall we drink?" " Let's drink." "You can't even get some sleep in this house!" "But tomorrow I'm leaving, I'll pack my bags and go!" " Open up!" " No, I'm home alone!" "No, we don't wish to come in  all we want to know, if you please, is where they have gone." "One can really eat well at the Golden Spider, unlike at the Kursaal." " Yes, Mr. Tuns is waiting for me." " You must be his secretary?" "Yes, I'm his secretary." "This way." "Oh, finally!" " Ah, good evening!" " Please, excuse us a moment." " Quick, give me the money." " The money?" " You've got a nerve!" " What?" " Brass." " What?" " Gold plated brass, it's a Tuns product." "These shoes are driving me crazy!" "This time they'll arrest you, I guarantee it." "Then tomorrow..." " What about Fiocchi?" " I don't care about Fiocchi!" "The taxi, the lobster..." "Just keep eating, they'll arrest you anyway." " And then there's the other thing." " What thing?" " The girl." " But, she's a good girl." " That's what I mean." "Perhaps I love her, and I just want to let her know..." " They'll arrest you anyway." " No way..." "If I've really found the one, if this is really the day  all the policemen in the world couldn't arrest me." "I have the feeling that today is a unique, miraculous day..." "And that this good fortune, this miracle will be ruined  drowned in ridicule, all because I have just 17.50 in my pocket." "You should have thought about that!" ""Give it back, give it back!"" " Go and sell my suitcase." " No." " My overcoat?" " No." "My spare shirt?" "Will that be all, Mr. Tuns?" " Good evening." " Good evening." "Excuse me, Titi, a small setback on the Stock Exchange." " What would you like?" " Flowers, Miss?" " Yes, flowers!" "Are there not too many?" "I mean, such a strong smell will only daze..." " But I want to be dazed!" " All, all of them." "Bring us more bunches." " Have them put it on my bill." " The flowers are separate, Sir." "It's best if you just have them put it on the bill." "But I'm finished, Sir." "I'm going home now." "I told you to put it the bill!" "Have I no right to get angry?" "Seeing such vulgarity..." "Such disorder?" "Of course I'm upset!" "Who wouldn't be, in my situation?" " What now?" " The records you've been listening to, Mr. Tuns..." " So as to remember this evening." " Cigarettes, Mr. Tuns?" "Would you like more ice?" "Come, Titi, there's something I have to tell you." "A walk around the winter garden?" "I'll show the way, Mr. Tuns." "Turn the lights in the winter garden on, Mr. Tuns is coming." " That would be Mr. Tuns?" " Yes, Tuns Junior." "No way." "I know that guy, he's not Tuns Junior! "The Eternal Blade"" " What do you mean?" " He's a con man." "Are you sure?" "Titi, there's something I have to tell you." "Even I have always dreamed of an evening like this  and spending it with a girl like you." "But with such a girl, the most important thing is to be honest." "Yes, Titi I have to tell you..." "I'll feel so much better when everything is out in the open." "Titi, I wanted to tell you  that I'm not what you think." "I'm not a millionaire  actually, I'm pretty much broke." "I have debts, quite a few  and I'd have even more if it was easier to get debts." "I live a temporary life." "Most of the time, my appetite is bigger than the meals I eat." "But I knew you would tell me this." "You knew?" "Of course, because understand you." "It's just like in the fairytales, all the princes and lords  when they meet a modest girl like me, they say  just to test them, that they're really very poor and unhappy." "So you don't believe that I'm a poor old devil..." "I'd have to be blind!" "Everything about you is rich by nature." "See, you accept the luxury." "In every word you speak I hear things that turn life  into a fairytale." "The things that girls like me see only at the cinema." "High rooms full of crystal, of silverware  neighborhoods full of roses, of sunshine  of mansions, everything that is bright and beautiful in the world." "Luxury!" "Wealth!" "Is that the only thing you see when you look at me?" "The bored millionaire." "It's easy to say that, Mr. Tuns  but you should feel what it's like to wear second hand clothes." "To eat warmed up soup every night." "To walk instead of taking the tram, just to save a bit of money." "You know nothing of this, you're something else entirely." "I'm the man of grand hotels." "Of four poster beds." " The fugitive, running from his millions." " Some of which you gave to us!" "The man that travels, that devastates, with the pick of millions of women." "The bored man." "And to think, I skipped a few courses tonight  didn't have an appetite, you see." "Drink." " Why aren't you drinking?" "In a place like this, you drink." " Yes, Mr. Tuns." "I'm surprised they don't have golden cups in a place like this!" "You know, I used to sleep in the waiting room at the station..." "Just because, you know, because I was bored..." " You think it's nice to wake up like that?" " But, you're drunk..." "No, it's not the wine, it's the hate for this mass of people  that have their heads stuffed with films and make a long face  at warmed up, homemade soup." "They don't know what a ruined pair of shoes in winter means." "Wretched people!" "Wretched people, I'll show them!" "That's right, I wore shoes that were ruined, my feet get wet..." " Mr. Tuns..." " Aren't you happy here with me?" "The man in a tailcoat, stuffed with lobster and caviar." "The man of debauchery." "Yes, debauchery, my specialty!" "I drink, just like this..." "And then I smash it." "I love to break things!" "Have you not seen those films with Russian Princes dressed like Cossacks?" "See?" "They drink and then they smash it!" "I love it!" "Break it!" "Someone will pay, but it certainly won't be me!" "I want to go home!" "Miss Titi..." "Razor blades?" "Are you sure of this assertion?" " Of course!" " I did suspect something, there's a hole in his sleeve." " He's too hungry to be a gentleman." " He asked for a half bottle!" "And to think, we almost offered him the Golden Spider." "Oh, excuse me!" "Waiter!" "Waiter, what's going on here?" " Don't cry!" " No, I want to go home!" " It's my fault." " No, it's my fault!" "No, it's mine!" "You couldn't possibly be..." " My father, my mother..." " Oh, dear..." "You drank too much!" "When I was little, my father always came to see him." " And you don't deserve him!" " He called me his little kitty  he brought me presents, and I did nothing but scorn him." "He should have given you a good slap, not presents!" "My mother gave her right eye to get me a woolen jumper  that I wouldn't wear." "A good slap!" "Do you know what a millionaire does to his bad employees  pretty young girls, on a night like this?" "You should know what a millionaire does..." "When he goes out with pretty girls at night." "I was mean to Bernardo, too." " Well, he's an idiot." " That's not true!" "He's the one that brought me a coat when I was cold." "Well, if you like this Bernardo, why did you come with me?" "So this is where you bring the daughters of your employees!" "But I made it just in time, Titi is coming with me." "And tomorrow you can fire me." "Do what you like, I don't care about the Tuns Stores any more." "My career will be broken, but at least Titi will be safe." "Please, Sir, we would like to see some identification." "Would you show us, please?" "Your documents, please." "I'm not in the habit of taking my documents everywhere with me." "Besides, this young man will be able to tell you who I am." "All I know is that you're a good for nothing man." "We would be very grateful if you could give us an explanation." "Seeing that you aren't willing to clear up the situation  we ask you to pay the bill and leave this restaurant." " Titi, finally." "Thank God!" " What's wrong, Titi?" "Well, are you going to pay?" "Pay?" "Mr. Tuns, what an honour!" "Mr. Tuns!" "I thought I might never see you again, my Dear Son." "Mr. Tuns was joking, I'm sure." "Funny, very funny." "If I may..." "Get out of here!" "So, you wanted to make people happy and their dreams come true." "Sir, I would have to be almighty, I'd have to be you!" "Well, you are Tuns Junior  I allowed you to be him." "You started, now you've finished." "I'll take care of everything." "Well, Mr. Tuns, excuse us, but it's late." "Thank you for everything, for your good intentions  but I'd like to remain in my current position  otherwise my colleagues might think ill of me." "People can be very spiteful, but thank you, thanks again." "Young man, the people don't want anything to do with your dreams  and your happiness, it seems." "On the contrary, I'm glad I taught these people that happiness  is something that everyone carries around in their pocket without realising." "Excuse us, Mr. Tuns." "Thank you for everything." "Miss Titi..." "When... when you marry him..." "Wear this, the type 6 tiara." "I hear it's only made of tin, but it's quite pretty and shiny." "Goodnight, Sir." "Goodnight!" "And good luck!" "Young man..." "Is there something I can do for you?" "Thank you, Mr. Tuns, but there's nothing I need, I  I have assets, possibilities." "Then goodnight." "Goodnight, and good luck." "Thank you." "Then goodnight, Mr. Tuns!" "You're the only one who hasn't understood anything from tonight." "Pay the bill for Tuns Junior." "By the way, there's..." "there's a taxi waiting." "Oh, you're here!" "I was getting bored waiting outside all by myself." "You did well to not accept anything from Mr. Tuns  sometimes pride is more important than money." "I saw and heard everything, I was hiding behind the palm tree." "Cover yourself up, it's cold outside." "Tomorrow, the 1,000 lire for Fiocchi." "Well, God will send us something." "Ah, yes, tomorrow." "Fiocchi..." "Please excuse us, Mr. Tuns." "The regrettable understanding..." "Please accept this on our behalf." "We only offer it to our most illustrious guests, for you!" "Nice, how much does is it worth?" " An extremely original reply!" " But, how much is it worth?" "I wouldn't know, 2,000 lire?" "Give me 1,000 lire." "1,000 lire?" "Always funny, Mr. Tuns." "1,000 lire..." "There you go, Mr. Tuns." "1,000 lire." "Nice doing business with you."