"This is J.J." " Assalam-u-alaykum." " Both:" "Wa-alaykum-u-assalam." "It's a Muslim father's duty to find a husband for his daughter." " What?" " What?" "!" "J.J. is a friend of the family, very good prospects." "You could go on a series of dates... with a chaperon, very Islamic." "The chaperon is here." "Enough of this closey-closey." "Have you ever realised you wanted something, but you only realised you wanted it after you saw someone else had it?" "I would like to ask for her hand." " Mr. Hamoudi?" " Call me dad!" "The thing with J.J.," "I just didn't think it was going to get so serious so fast." " Rayyan, the thing is..." " Amaar, stop." "J.J. asked me to marry him." " He did?" " Uh-huh." "What did you say?" "I said yes." "Amaar?" "Amaar, are you okay?" "Of course I'm okay!" "I'm thrilled." "You look stunned." "No, not at all." "My, um..." "My stunned face is very similar to my thrilled face." "Season 3 Episode 1 Amaar at the Bat" "[ Champagne cork pops ]" "{\pos(190,200)}" " Ohhh, shady creek!" " Oh, yes... {\pos(190,200)}It is the champagne of non-alcoholic champagnes." "Do bedbugs actually bite?" "Like, I thought that was just an expression." "{\pos(190,200)}Yeah, like flea-bag motel." "{\pos(190,200)}Also apparently quite real." "That settles it, J.J." "{\pos(190,200)}That place was fine for a few weeks," "{\pos(190,180)}but we are getting you out of that motel." "Where will he live?" "He can move in here... {\pos(190,200)}after he's been de-loused." "Of course." "Well actually, Yasir, I hope this doesn't sound weird, but..." "I feel that Rayyan and I shouldn't sleep under the same roof until we're married." "Just when I thought I could not love this man any more, he goes and says something like that." "A toast." "Sarah and I have long dreamed of the day when our lovely flower would meet someone with whom to spend" " the rest of her life." " Uh-oh, here come the tears." " Your mom's a bit of a crier, eh?" " No, it's for him?" "Look away." "You know, just yesterday I was so upset with you, and now I can't even remember why." "And I promise not to do one more thing to ruin this wedding for you, my lovely flower." "I thought I was your lovely flower." "My life is but a boundless garden." "Oh my." "Sure there's no booze in this?" "How are you doin' with this?" "I'm her imam and her friend, Duncan." "The only appropriate reaction is happiness." "What's the inappropriate reaction?" "See, interesting." "I would've thrown the baseball." "I'm dying to say something." "But I know I can't." "I feel like I'm being tested." "You are." "This is just one of life's little curve balls, buddy." "Think of it as an opportunity for growth." "I'm growing depressed." "Okay... you're not ready to deal with this engagement yet, fine." "The best thing you can possibly do right now is to completely avoid all contact with Rayyan and..." "J.J!" "Hey, guys." "Hope I'm not interrupting." "We were just talking baseball." "Oh right, listen," "Amaar, I hate to bother you, but I need a huge favour." " What's up?" " Uh, my motel has a little, well, everything problem." "No worries." "There's another motel 25 miles away." "Duncan, can I borrow your car?" "Well actually, I was hoping I could crash with you for a few days." "Just until I find something a little more permanent." "I'm not sure." "Duncan runs the building, and it might violate the terms of my lease." "Do we even have a lease?" "Sure you can stay with me." "Thanks, that's a huge help." "I'll pop by later with my stuff." "Thank you." "Yeah!" "Pop on by later with all your stuff." "It's gonna be... another one of life's little curve balls?" "I think that was more like getting beaned by the pitch." "Hey, big fella, come here often?" " Yasir!" " Mayor," " that was funny." " Oh yeah." "Funny, funny joke." "I don't pick up men in bookstores!" " Buying some literature?" " Oh, yes." "Sarah's book club pick." "She's hosting tomorrow." "Tomorrow?" "You must be a fast reader." "Well, I can read the jacket as fast as the next gal." " You?" " Caught red-handed." "Wedding planner?" "Yasir, you mean?" "Yes, our little Rayyan is officially engaged." "Oh, how wonderful." "That's great!" "And here I thought she'd die an old mai... mai..." "mai..." "Well, there's no going back there, you know what I meant." " Always lovely to see you." " You too." "Helloooo, pectorals." "If only I told Rayyan how I felt about her sooner." "Now she's getting married and... game over." "Ha!" "Marriage is anything but game over." "If anything, it is a beginning." "I meant game over for me." "Oh." "Yes, indeed." "For you it is most definitely game over." " No question." " Thanks." "Hey, what did you mean when you said, "ha"?" "Don't you like being married?" "Of course, I like being married." "My wife, not so much." "It was one of the things we argued about." "What didn't she like about?" "Everything." "I left my towels on the floor." "I would not help out enough around the kitchen." "I would not let her eat raising toast." "We all do it." "What's wrong with raisin toast?" "What is right about it?" "!" "[ Bangs table ]" "My point is, only when you live with someone, do they reveal their true selves." "If people knew more about each other beforehand, they might never get married at all." "There you go." "Moved in." "Now, you just relax, do what comes naturally." "Let your hair down." "Put your feet up." "Eat raising toast." " Oh, you have raisin toast?" " No." " What did you get?" " Lovely dresses." "Whoo!" " Fantastic arrangements." " Hey!" " Hey, how was the bookstore?" " Fine." "Oh, I ran into the mayor." "I'm not surprised." "She seems to go there a lot." "Hey, you didn't say anything about Rayyan's engagement, did you?" " 'Course not." " Thank goodness." "Thank goodness?" "As if I would tell the mayor." " Oh!" "You told the mayor!" " Of course I told the mayor." "Is that bad?" "Dad, this is huge for her!" "Most of her friends' daughters are already married, and now she can gloat." "You can't spoil that for her." "I would've thought you'd say, gloating is un-Islamic." "As a Muslim, that's true." "As a woman, I'm with mom." "Should I track down the mayor?" "I think you should build a time machine, go back and not blab." "Or you could track down the mayor." " Assalam-u-alaykum." " Wa-alaykum-u-assalam." "What you been up to?" "Watching TV, lying around?" "Letting your guard down?" " What's that smell?" " Oh, it's pine." "I mopped the floors." "Oh..." "very thoughtful." " Is that your jacket?" " Uh, no, that's yours." "Hey, you okay?" "Yeah, of course." "I'm just, uh, tired." " I'm gonna take a shower." " Oh, listen um..." "I'm sorry." "I used up all the hot water." " You did?" " Yeah." "But I've been boiling some pots on the stove and uh... been pouring them into the tub." "I hope a bath's okay." "Better than okay." "Perfect." "Anne!" "Anne!" "I need to talk to you." "About what happened in the bookstore." "What did you see?" "Nothing happened." "I've known that man for years." "I mean what I said about Rayyan getting married." "Ah, yeah, that's nice." " Fella called it off?" " No, nothing like that." "Just promise me you won't tell Sarah that I told you when she tells you, so she doesn't know I told before she got to tell." "I don't follow." " Just play dumb." " Fine." "Oh, Anne, um you didn't tell anyone else, any of Sarah's friends, anyone at all?" "Well, let's see, I was just at Fatima's, I may have told someone there." " Excuse me, everyone!" " Congratulations!" "Congratulations, Yasir." "I am so excited for Rayyan." "What wonderful news." "I can't wait to congratulate Sarah at book club." " Uh, excuse me." " You're not going anywhere." "Please, everyone, listen." "This is very important." "You must promise me not to say anything to Sarah about our daughter's engagement until she brings it up." "Please." "What happens at Fatima's stays at Fatima's." "If you ask politely." "Catchy." "Wait!" "Did anyone who heard the news leave before I arrived?" "Fred Tupper was here." "Fred Tupper?" "!" "Where did he go?" "The radio station." " Assalam-u-alaykum!" " Wa-alaykum-u-assalam." "Hey, I wondered where you disappeared to." "Ah, you know me, I love a good gazebo." "Is that cigarette smoke I smell?" "Yeah, pfff." "Teenagers." " I don't see any teenagers." " They ran away." "They were pretty fast for a bunch of smokers." "Huh." "What am I doing?" "I can't lie to you." "It was me." "You smoke." "I quit years ago." "I just uh," "I could never give up that one after-dinner cigarette." "I'm going to, though." "I really am." "Does, um, Rayyan know about this?" "No, and please whatever you do, don't say anything." "Can you imagine how she'd react?" "Yes, I can." "Hey there, friend-ereenos, Fred Tupper here with another bulletin-er... reeno," " that oughta knock your socks off." " Mr. Tupper!" "Mr. Tupper!" "Just received this very exciting little bit of news..." "Please don't tell them about Rayyan's engagement." "Half the town already knows and it's my fault." " They can hear me, can't they?" " Yeah." "By the way, thanks for the heads-up, there, but uh..." "I don't cover that kind of small-town crap." "This is a serious show, you know, hard news." "Oh dear." "Don't you have some feet to wash or something?" "Now, then, let's talk pie, shall we?" "Apparently some of you so-called liberals want to change the pie-eating contest to pumpkin..." "Okay, maybe nobody heard." "Whatever your flavour, make sure you sharpen up those chompers, because as the old saying goes, there's no pie like the pie you eat really fast." "I'm sure dad will make it up to you somehow." "Oh, he should have built that time machine." "Assalam-u-alaykum." "Wa-alaykum-u-assalam." " No J.J?" " We're not conjoined twins, Amaar." "I want to, um, apologise for being a little out of it the other day." "Oh, that's okay." "This whole thing has been a bit of a whirlwind." "Yeah." "So how is J.J. as a roomie?" "Oh, good." "Good roomie." "Easy to live with." "He cleans up after himself." " What do you think of smoking?" " Sorry?" "Yesterday I caught one of the teens from the Mosque smoking." "I didn't want to be too hard on him." "I disagree." "Be hard." "I'm with Fatima." "I am very tough on my patients who smoke." "What if he just hides it?" "And lies?" "That's even worse!" "Who is this kid?" "Oh please don't be angry at me, darling." "Please!" "We can go into the city, see a play." " You love live theatre." " No thank you." "A holiday then, some place warm." "It's plenty warm here." "Jewellery?" "Some perfume?" " Socks." " Socks?" "!" "Just tell me what it is you want." "That was a no to the socks, right?" "Yasir, you just don't understand." "I do understand, my love." "I do understand." "You wanted to gloat, I ruined it." "You think this is about gloating?" "Okay, it's a little bit about gloating, but it's much more than that." "Yasir, this is the most wonderful news a mother could ever share with the world." "Now that news is yesterday's news." "I'm not even that angry." "I'm more sad." "No no, not sad." "Anything but sad!" "Please be angry at me, darling." "Please!" "So you told her about J.J. smoking." "Well, I told her I was talking about somebody else." "But I was tempted to." "Amaar, tsk-tsk-tsk-tsk-tsk." " Did you just tisk-tisk me?" " More of a tut-tut." "I don't know what's wrong with me." "Usually I know the right thing to do, but right now everything is so... cloudy." "In Islam you're supposed to warn someone off a bad match." "Well, smoking doesn't make J.J. bad." "Probably makes him smell bad, but that's not really the same thing." "But on the other hand, he is sort of being dishonest." "Well, you could help him quit smoking." "That way he wouldn't be lying, and you wouldn't be back-biting." "Yeah, I guess that is a simple solution." "Do you have a more complicated one I could reject?" "Sorry." "Tell me something, when you used to do something to make your wife really sad, what would you do to make it up to her?" "Did Amaar tell you about the raisin toast?" "That was private." "All she wanted to do was share her good news, and because of me, now the whole town knows." "What do you mean the whole town knows?" "Have you spoken to every single person in town?" "Don't be so literal." "It's a figure of speech." ""The whole town knows. "" "Wait, the whole town can't possibly know." " Exactly." " There must be someone, someone!" " Where are you going?" " Baber Siddiqui, you're a genius." " Tell me something I don't know." " You have mustard on your shirt." "Robin, how are you, so nice to see you again." "Oh, you've already heard." "Hmm." "Aw, Kathy, Kathy..." "Ohhh, you've heard as well." "Yasir, I heard about Rayyan, congratulations." "Ahhh." "How goes the batting average?" "Swinging for the fences." "I found a book on quitting smoking I'm gonna give to J.J." "You know, they have everything in that bookstore." "Yeah, I don't go there anymore." "I kept running into the mayor for some reason." "What is that incredible aroma?" "Smells like it's coming from your loft." "Smells like... stuffed grape leaves with a red-pepper sauce." "And..." "Baba ghanoush." "You made us dinner." "I didn't even know you could cook." "I'm self-taught." "I'm still learning." "But," "I figured Rayyan would appreciate a husband who knows his way around a kitchen," "Don't you think?" "Appreciate it?" "She'll love it." "I know this might sound corny, but, sometimes I think about being married to Rayyan, and doing nice things for her, making our house a home." "I just can't believe no one snapped her up before I did." "Yeah, you're a lucky, lucky man." "Hey, what you got there?" "Uh..." "Some book." "Would you excuse me?" "I forgot something at the office." "[ Phone rings ]" " Assalam-u-alaykum." " Wa-alaykum-u-assalam." "What are you doing after dinner?" "Watching my mom and her friends talk about a book that sounds horrible." "You have a better option?" "Joe." "Joe!" "Joe!" "Jooooooe!" "Yasir, what the heck you doin'?" "I could'a run ya over." "That's why I was waving my arms." "Sometimes I like to drive with my eyes closed." " Why?" " Kicks." "Let me ask you this..." "Have you heard of any news from town or anything?" "With these things on I can't hear a thing, and, besides, people don't really talk to me." "Joe, would you come with me, please?" "Well," " that was an excellent meal." " Thank you." "Do you have to be somewhere?" " No, why?" " You just keep looking at your watch." "Oh, no, I can't just can't help it." "It's such a nice..." "Are you gonna smoke?" "I dunno." "Maybe I'm okay." "Are you kidding?" "After a meal?" "All that rich tobacco flavour, mmmm." "Well, maybe one." "Okay, J.J. you know, wait." "I, um..." "I have to tell you something." "Oh man, it's Rayyan, what do I do?" " Assalam-u-alaykum." " Wa-alaykum-u-assalam." "Rayyan, what a..." "surprise." "Surprise, what do you mean?" "You told me to meet you here at uh..." "Do I smell smoke?" "Teenagers." "Crazy..." "Teenagers." "What's going on?" " Rayyan, I can explain." " No!" "I can." "I, um, it was, uh..." "me." "I was smoking." "Amaar!" "Are you nuts?" "When I was a lawyer, I used to sometimes smoke, and uh... lately, I, uh, have been having cravings." " Amaar, you don't have to..." " I know I don't!" "But I'm stopping." "Good!" "I know you're only human, but really, I'm surprised." "[ Cell phone rings ]" "Excuse me." "It's the clinic." "Hello?" "You really didn't have to do that." "I know, but you really do have to quit." "Either that or you gotta come clean with her." "You're right." "You're a good guy, Amaar, you know that?" "Yeah, thanks." "So, Anne, which character did you find most interesting?" "Wow... how do you choose?" "So many characters." "Well, what did you think of the nurse?" "Oh, loved the nurse." "So courageous." "She murdered six patients." "Well, that takes a kind of courage." "Yasir, what are you doing..." " My darling," "I know I've upset you, I'm here to make amends." "Joe, Joe." "Oh, look, Joe." "You brought Joe into my home." "You don't understand." " He doesn't know." " Oh, Yasir, for the love of..." " Go on." " Fine." "Joe, we wanted to tell you our big news." "Our daughter Rayyan recently got engaged." "I'm so touched that you would tell me that." "I'm happy for the both of you." "Congratulations." "Oh, Joe." "Don't you two get me started." "You're reading the "patient and the partridge"?" "I love that book." " Joe's in, you're out." " Oh!" "Thank god." "If anyone needs me, I'll be at O'Malley's." "Knock knock." "Hi." "What are you doing?" "I'm packing." "I can see that, but where are you going?" "I'm going back to Toronto." "Amaar, what's going on?" "Do you know what I did tonight?" "I set up J.J, so Rayyan could catch him smoking." "You did?" "What happened?" "Couldn't go through with it." "She smelled the cigarette so I covered for him, told her it was me." "Hey, there you go, buddy." "You hit a home run, you knocked one outta the park." "Knocked one outta the park?" "I was this close to..." "I don't know who I am anymore, Duncan." "I'm not acting like a friend or an imam." "This whole Rayyan thing has got me all turned around." "As long as I feel like this, I'm no good to myself, and I sure as hell am no good to this community." "{\pos(190,200)}Amaar, wait!" "This is crazy." "What do you want me to tell everyone?" "Tell them I struck out." "Subtitle by:" "Kiasu"