"Since The 1600's There have been numerous versions of Shakespeare's Hamlet adapted to portray vampires" "This is one of them" "C Plus Pictures presents" "In association with OffHollywood Pictures" "Hey, I wasn't done yet!" "Hello?" "Cheap bastards!" "a Jordan Galland Film" "God, I wish I could yell at someone" "I am listening" "Who let the grim reaper in here?" "My dear, I own this entire theater" "Well, I've more fifteen minutes left" "Fifteen more minutes of that insufferable rehearsal" "And I was likely to be strangled by the news of boredom" "So, you didn't like it?" "A dancer should dance the dance of her life" "Toothfairy versus candyland is authobiographical" "I had a lot of cavities as a kid" "But you're not a kid anymore" "You're a woman" "Very beautiful woman" "And you should be dancing the dance of a beautiful woman" "Really?" "Sometimes I don't really feel beautiful" "Oh" "But you are beautiful" "Give it a moment to sink in" "Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Undead" "Ring ring" "Hello" "Hey, did you just wake up?" "No, hi, no." "I am ..." "I am just back from the gym" "But you promised to pick up my dress this morning" "Great, Why, why don't you just send your boyfriend's right hand to do that" "Would you just bring it to Bobby's" "Please" "I am going to casting and I don't have time" "Anna, I don't think that's such a good idea" "Mobsters don't generally like ex-boyfriends" "He doesn't know who I've used to date" "Please, Julsie" "No smoking here" "You've no job and nothing to do whole day" "You really need to grow up" "Thank for reminding me" "Do you have some young hossle in bed with ya?" "No ... no, no" "Allright, I've got to go, I am here" "Wish me luck" "Yeah, ok, bye" "You're not gonna need the paper back, ok?" "So what do you think is wrong with me, doctor?" "Well, this is a sample, and I think it will help with your strange symptoms" "It's vague" "You're gonna be fine, yeah" "Ahh, look, the cat just dragged in" "I am allergic to cats" "Hey" "Uhm ..." "This is my dad" "And ehm, that's Hugo Pepper" "Hugo, What's wrong with you today?" "Eeh, sunspots, dizziness, tremors" "He's always here" "I thought you lived alone" "I, I do live in there alone and my dad works in here ... alone" "Can you come and talk to me, Julian?" "Yeah" "So, I will call you" "Hm, you don't have my number" "I can find ya, ok?" "eh" "Aaaaa eee" "You know, it is really hard for me to see you like this, Julian" "You look terrible" "You've got all these girls who are coming and going you could've put a revolving door in there and make it easier for them" "Dad, I am just fighting off some demons, that's all" "I've got just a thing for that" "A prescription for fighting demons?" "No, this is a prescription for getting a job" "Off Broadway production of Hamlet seeks young controllable human theater director" "Sounds pretty stupid" "Yeah, ok, the interview is in thirty minutes, get going!" "No, no, no." "I am not gonna get going, dad" "I am not a theater director anymore" "I've got used to it, I suggest you do the same" "Hey, it's either that or you move out of my office" "That's fine with me" "Wait, like pa ... pay my own rent?" "Yeah, well, most people of your age do" "Zifromax?" "Look, these symptoms are serious, ok?" "You're dizzy, you've got fatigue, you're achy" "Dad, it's a hangover" "Was that blonde a model?" "Job interview with a vampire" "Eh, Hi" "E ... excuse me, hi" "My name is Julian Marsh" "I saw your ad, in the paper" "I requested an aryan body builder" "Do you know, where ... where I'd go about the theater directing position?" "Oooh" "That ad" "Oh" "Haha" "Excuse the dead flowers, the master loves them so" "Ok" "Come and meet the others" "This is Leyuba and Zadeska" "They will be doing costumes and make up" "They will be also doing some acting and I will be taking a few rows myself" "He's yummy" "A real renaissance man and women" "It's a real renaissance fair here" "The renaissance was a flee market compared to the glory of Ancient Rome" "This is Theo Horace, our writer" "Tell me, what do you know about Rosencrantz and Guildenstern?" "Eh, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern, they are two idiots hired to spy on Hamlet." "They ... ehm" "They died at the end" "Very good, you know your stuff" "This is the same theater, where the dancer Lauren Lamont she was murdered here, right?" "Please" "Don't interrupt!" "We start rehearsals next week" "Next week ... ok well I've the perfect actor in line for Hamlet" "Really, really" "Oh good, good, good, good yes, good, yes, I know" "Why don't we have him out for a drink, later" "I love them Lindlife" "Theo never hires anyone he can't party with" "It's this thing" "I demand an undying devotion to the play" "Yeah, of course" "One last question" "Do you suffer from any blood vessel abnormality iron inefficiencies, vitamin B deficiencies and or intravenous drug usage?" "No" "Oh, you're too good to be true" "Ah" "Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Undead" "Are we interested to see how Shakespeare and zombies go together?" "Not zombies!" "Vampires!" "How?" "Yeah, right." "That makes way more sense" "Girls!" "Escort mister Marsh to the door" "Good day Julian." "Nice to meet you" "Come with us" "He's perfect" "He's young and controllable and he's human" "I am glad I am your friend." "Be honest with me" "Don't get me wrong man." "I love Anna" "I am a big Anna fan" "I totally miss being your guy's third wheel some of the best days of my life" "But, look, crown Jules ... you have gotta stop your girlfriend suck life out of you" "yeah, you can pick up her dress and soho you can cure cancer you can rescue a burning orphanage full of kittens but trust me one things girls never forget is when you cheat on them with a stripper" "Really don't ... dont' do guys that mistake   in college?" "Yes, yes they do absolutely" "Your mistake was telling her the truth after lying to her and then thinking she will forgive you for it" "You're right that was   stupid" "It smells so good in here" "It smells great, you know what that's called?" "Extreme peace" "It's extremely nice" "Drives the ladies crazy" "Are you out of your mind?" "Bobby Bianchi's house?" "Do you know, who Bobby Bianchi is?" "No, no, no, no, no no, no, crazy!" "You know karate, right?" "I know karate, yeah" "I've got white belt in karate" "Do you know what that means?" "I can like chudo cha" "And you know what, by the way" "I think this red is maybe the wrong colour for Anna's hair" "There's lot of dresses in this place ..." "What you just said?" "I said, don't think this red ..." "No, no, it's not what you said but how you said" "With your hand like, say it like that" "Don't you think this red is a wrong colour" "I am a genious" "Why?" "Bobby can't forget on us if he thinks we're gay" "You see, this is why you're a director and this's why I am an actor, right?" "Cause I am doing this" "It's kind of like, you know:" "Scorcese and the Nero strike again, bitches!" "I am just saying, if it were me" "I'll be a shaking little baby it's just kind of a scary thing, in a theater with a murdered girl" "You're not making me feel any better" "Can you hold this" "I can't have a pink shirt and hold a red dress" "Well, you see, in the night you feel the breath of the ghost on your neck and hear the: whaaa whuu" "Right, so I guess you don't want play Hamlet then" "No, I didn't said, I am an actor" "Well, then stop trying to scare me" "Oh, my god" "Can I have your autograph?" "Shit" "Yeah" "Shit" "Don't be jealous, it's a fan" "You are really good as the bumblebee at the comercial" "You have a picture of me?" "Make it up to Shelley Florence, that's me" "That's flattering" "I mean, that's weird, but it's flattering" "You keep that pen, if you're ever in the play involing the Hamlet and the vampires you call the number on that pen" "You are in danger" "Ok" "Ble, bleh" "You're in danger" "You're loosing your goddamned mind, crazy bat" "Who's afraid of Bobby Bianchi?" "Are you sick of feeling like a janitor?" "Or a cleaning lady?" "Get ready to whack some germs with my new Germ-o-whack" "You guys are late" "Sorry" "Oh my god, what happened to my dress?" "I am sorry, this homeless woman came out of nowhere" "It's always something coming out of nowhere" "I mean shit from nowhere, and what happened to my dress" "With my new design, a man can clean his hands and still feel like a male not a female" "Hey, is that the bumblebee guy from the serial comercial" "I can't believe it, in my fucking house?" "Ehey!" "Hello, je m'appelle Vince, enchante" "Very wonderful to be in your domain" "When you were grownup, did you ever think" "I wanna be all that I can be?" "Get it?" "Yes, it's very funny." "He's very funny" "No, with all the honesty, I was always deadly serious about being a hesbian it's very common for someone who's as gay as I am" "Hesbian?" "How about you" "Totally gay" "That's good for you two guys because I usually like it, when you know, the goodlooking guys are gay" "Me too" "Hm, not that I think you two are goodlooking or anything" "Hey, listen, have a drink, I gotta go back to my promo conference" "Excuse me, I am sorry" "Germ-o-whack!" "Clean your hands like a male man" "What is this have to do with you working for the post office" "No, no, it's like being a male but being a man" "Isn't it basically just like a water gun" "Forget it, forget it, obviously, with rack like that you don't know what I am talking about, right" "Hey, bumblebee, bumbee, help me out with the tagline need some quick, snap" "Idea's are Julian's department" "Ah" "Allright, allright, give me some, some good" "It really sell itself" "Come one, hook me up" "Germ-o-whack!" "It' a mean clean whacking machine" "I like that, I am gonna use that" "Hey honey, come here, come here" "Look hot, baby" "Oh, man, I can't watch this" "Makes me natious seeing them together" "I don't know what she sees in this guy" "He gonna be as ... rich and attractive" "Where does a girl get a drink in this place?" "Waiter, chardonay" "I am Vince" "Hi Cookie" "Hey, you know, I saw you and I thought - that's a girl who's not afraid to get controversial" "You know I really liked - forever people's engines" "Absolutely, vrum" "Sorry to interrupt, you two love birds" "They're taking pictures and her hair is just not quite working for me" "I could fix it" "Aye, sure kid, you can use my bedroom as long you keep it nice and clean" "Let me see your hands" "It's on me" "Well, I mean, it's on you, but   it's on me" "Do you have to do this every time we get together?" "Ok, what the fuck is this?" "Bobby is little quirky, he likes to get into mood" "Does the mood include puking?" "You hate me, don't you?" "No, no I don't" "I am the opposite of hate you" "I heart you" "Eew!" "You're my soulmate" "Double eew!" "Did you googled cheesy things to say before you got here?" "No, my internet's down you're, yours everything to me" "I, I care about you so much" "You still can't say "I love you"" "I passion you, I adore you, you're" "You're a looser, you live in your dad's office and you have no job!" "Well, I do have a job actually, I am directing Hamlet" "It's a weird adaptation" "Well, did you cast Ophelia yet?" "We do have someone in mind for the role" "But, ehm, maybe one of the smaller parts get you audition" "Thanks" "Come on, let's go nancy boy" "Easy, thank you" "What's my sexy music doing on?" "It was an accident, baby" "It was an accident I caught this guy feeling up Cookie Lambet's tits?" "I thought he was a queer" "Allright, she has breast implants and she asked me to examine them to see if they felt real and I tell you what not bad, really not bad at all, you'd be surprised" "Girls like gay men giving them advice because it's honest and it's not sexually motivated" "That's actually true" "No, I don't buy it, you guys are out of here" "No, you know what, (blabla) you're out of here" "You're lucky there's no bullets in this Germ-o-whack, you understand me?" "I tell you what, that is one lucky man one look and two more seconds I would have his ass, Jules" "I would have just" "Oh, shit, dude, we gotta go back" "I forgot my skateboard" "No, what, are you kidding me?" "That guy is fucking crazy, forget about it" "I don't know why we went there at the first place" "Not so bad, in the end did get the feel of that girl's tits think I kinda like being gay" "Hey, you gotta tell me about meet this guy by the way" "It's not the emotional demands of playing Hamlet that I am concerned about but there is a physical demand that requires very specific" "state of fitness" "Do you suffer from any ... bone marrow problems?" "Ehm ..." "No" "Vince will do" "What just happened, what he say?" "Vince will do" "So you got it?" "Vince will do for Hamlet my friend" "Salut" "Oh, I got the job, but I am telling you can't change the name of the play to Hamlette" "Enough business" "Ladies, tell me the story" "What do you do?" "Whatever Theo tells us to do" "We're his slaves" "We are slaves" "That's cool man, I can dig that" "Jules, did you see that?" "you seek the control that this man has over these women it's unbelievable!" "He's a fucking visionary or something" "and he can dance" "Fellows, I need that table" "What's up?" "Do me a favor, both of you get up no no no no no" "We're here with Theo" "Theo who, I don't see Theo" "No, he's here, he's right behing you, he's dancing" "You're talking back" "I am not talking back ..." "Now you're getting loud" "No, I am crying over the music" "It's very loud in here" "Get the fuck up!" "I'll open the can, buddy, I will open the can, I will open the ... ah" "Ok, allright, ok, hey, you know" "I will take this guy outside, I will handle him outside" "Ok, hey, hey, ok, easy" "I'll tell you what, you're on thin ice, my friend" "Son of the bitch!" "What the fuck?" "Oh, shit!" "Hey, look, look , look" "What am I looking at?" "Oh my god, what the hell is going on?" "I feel like I am loosing my goddamned mind" "I stood I saw" "Theo and those two girls from dance floor and then there was this other girl and they were like eating her or something" "Put this on, we should get your head checked out" "No, we should get out of here, that's what we should do" "You got hit?" "Of course I got hit, it was a fucking fight!" "Grave new world" "Harry, parry, thrust" "Harry, parry, thrust" "Dude, I am so psyched about this play inside of play, bro man, dude, it's like ... we're gonna rock, dog" "There is my Rosencrantz and my Guildenstern" "Wait, which one am I again?" "You're the one who can't read" "Put this around your waist" "I can read dude, periodicals" "Put this on" "He means magazines" "Great, I don't remember this from the script" "Maybe we signed up for the wrong game, bro!" "Any play for you would be the wrong game, Carlo" "You see guys, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern were touched to hip metaphorically, so ... we're gonna, literally, tie you guys together and see if we can learn something about the characters" "Ok, I get the literal metaphore, but don't you think it's little heavy handed?" "I mean I can act without rope" "I am trained" "I hope so, I have never .." "... never found actors on the internet before" "There is a lot of great people on the internet" "I've been trained, classically in combat and improvisation" "Ok, I'll take that into consideration" "Perhaps we should use this to hang Carlo, and cast someone else" "That's funny that you're joking around" "I hope that means, you guys are completely off book than" "Without lines?" "Ok, guys, I want everyone here to just close their eyes for one moment" "I am serious, close" "No peeking mister Liden!" "If you're peeking you're only cheating yourself of the experience" "Now everyone close your eyes" "I want you all to take a moment and think about your characters" "How are you like them, how are you not like them" "And now I want you to imagine you're sitting in a field leaning against an apple tree" "and you're little hungry and in front of you is the most delicious, juicy apple" "Ok, now, reach out for it" "Say, Jully" "What Vince" "I got question for you" "Make it quick, what?" "Help a brother out with the color" "Are we talking about red apple, are we talking about green apple, what?" "Maybe a pear" "It makes no difference" "Of course it makes a difference!" "Allright, mister Lidon" "Look at Theo guys!" "Everyone look at Theo!" "This is what I am talking about" "This is acting!" "There is no separation between him and his character" "He is his character" "Don't look at me!" "Ok, stop looking at Theo!" "It's good work Theo, it's really good work" "One should only eat what one hungers for" "That's my philosophy" "There are more things in heaven and Earth that are dreamt of your philosophy, Horatio" "You should learn to enjoy the gift that I gave you, Hamlet" "What gift?" "I want a gift too" "Rosencrantz is a simple mind, prince Hamlet" "Forgive him" "Jules, is that work with two fingers like that?" "Do I need to get my thumb envolved somehow or prong him?" "I just want to devastate him!" "I don't really like any of it" "It's good that you have learned your lines, finally" "Maybe we ... we could try acting a little bit more" "Since we are talking about the play, right like, I was thinking, we could do this modernizations, bro" "Instead of Rosencrantz and Guildensterns" "Do you think we can be like ..." "Rosenbros and Guildendude or what about like" " Dudencrantz and Dogenstern?" "Stupid idea" "Or like Rosenbros and Goldenhose" "Carl, stop!" "What do you talking about?" "Quick note" "There's still time to combine this into one character" "Agh, well aimed Horatio" "Your arrows have outrageous fortune" "Meow" "You may be good with arrows and bows, myself I am good with ribbons and bows" "Who designed your clothing?" "That outfit just screams" "Something is rotten in the state of Denmark!" "Is that a Roman toga?" "It's got to go!" "To go?" "What?" "What is that?" "That's not on the script" "I like it!" "We're modernizing!" "Hello" "Let's continue" "Ah, just nothing, play." "What do you doing?" "You go." "All the bloodwork looks greats, so I don't see a problem there" "What was the deal with the grapes?" "Ate four pounds for dinner last night" "Ok, I think, maybe you want to cut back, Ok?" "Because that's ..." "Hey Hugo, you are still sick?" "I wouldn't be, if a certain doctor could help me" "Hi doctor Marsh" "Hey, Anna, I would call him before you go in there" "Jesus" "Yeah, I wish you could keep him out of trouble" "That's not my job anymore" "Hello" "Do you have some young hossle in bed with ya?" "No, no, ehm" "I ..." "I am just getting back from the gym" "Just getting back from the gym" "Very unlikely" "Yeah, I was ... you know, mostly cardiovascular today" "You've been blowing me up for two weeks now and amount such a bedroom with my headshot" "I am coming in" "Anna, don't, Anna, it's not a good time!" "I will, call you" "Asshole!" "I wasn't so growsed that I might feel little depressed" "Yeah, well, you know ..." "I am impressed" "You're going out with the sleaziest guy in the New York City" "With him the sleaziness is more like confidence" "And he buys me flowers" "That's such a predictable thing for you to say" "I have to go to the theater" "Where I am directing Hamlet ... sort of" "I don't know what you're doing" "I am coming with you I gotta job of my headshot" "The theater is not a democracy" "It's a dictatorship and I am the boss here" "Hey, Theo, what's up?" "She is my Ophelia!" "We ..." "We are already rehearsing with Daisy" "She even smells like the real Ophelia" "How could you even know?" "You tell your miss Daisy she's clearly too old for the role" "Get her into wardrobe!" "Well, that really worked out well" "He's creepy" "I think I like him" "A street car named Ophelia" "Tis now the very witching time of night when churchyard's yawn hell itself breeds out contagion into this world" "Now I could drink hot blood" "Oh, with it's noble mind it's here overthrown" "Guys, stage left, or my left" "Left" "How did you know, that I was a vampire, fair Ophelia?" "Look at you." "Hell is your shirt" "Your knees knocking each other" "You don't like the shirt?" "It's my new design." "Sheep's feather" "I do not understand your hunger for blood" "Why you turn those you love into the vampires" "Oh but you will understand!" "I would ... rather ... die!" "Nooo!" "Ophelia!" "Nooo!" "Ok, ehh" "Theo!" "We got it more dramatic and maybe we can just turn it down a little" "I know of a potion that will help you if drunk from the Holy Grail" "Your soul will be restored and the vampire's curse shall be lifted" "I see what ... what you're trying to do there" "The only thing is ..." "I am not" "I am not really sure vampire's gonna cry that much" "All I am saying is this sometimes I feel like you care more about what Theo has to say than what Julian, the director, has to say" "You know, I know, actors think tears make great acting, but it kinda makes some look like a huge pussy" "I think you have us mistaken for someone else" "We are not Rosencrantz and Guildenstern" "We are Rosencrutz ... and Goldenstone yes" "Fucking pantaloons" "If you let us go, we will share a great and powerful secret with you" "Actually what he refers to, is the location of the Holy Grail" "This play is really confusing" "Let's talk later" "Rosencrutz and Goldenstern are dead" "Ah, where are their skeletons?" "They burst into flames and dissappeared" "Wait" "Do you know of any good playwrights?" "To be, or not to be ..." "That is the ... dilema?" "It's good guys, we'll get there eventually" "The Grail's hiding place is in this passage from scripture" "Take Rosencrantz and Guildenstern to help you find it" "Great guys, that was good" "So, that's where you kiss" "Why are you interrupting?" "Dude" "Great over here, Vince great" "Theo, I don't think that's how vampire would really do it" "Hm?" "You know on, on the day I remember, you're gonna have fangs" "You know, like ... homework assigment" "Go to a costume store , buy some cheap fangs, they'll be like couple bucks and just for whole day walk around with these things in your mouth like you're vampire" "Argh" "You're a killer." "You know" "You're giving me chills, Theo" "You'll do it like that, you'll gonna knock them fucking dead" "Yeah, I ..." "I've believed it" "Dial S for Shakespiracy" "Brrrraa, ma ma maa" "Now I could drink hot blood" "Now I could drink hot   blood" "Now I could drink hot blood?" "Hot blood?" "If you were ever in the play with the vampires and Hamlet" "You call the number on the side of this pen" "You are in danger!" "Hello, Rosencrucians and Goldenstone, how may I help you" "Hi, yeah" "I am in a play with Hamlet and vampires" "Vampires and Hamlet, I'll patch you through" "An apple a day keeps the demons away" "Oh my god, it's you" "What, what is this, what's with this, I thought you were supposed to be a homeless" "That was a disguise, I work for a secret society" "Yes, yes, no, hey, look, that's great" "They could be watching me right now, so we don't have a lot of time" "The story we're speaking, the vampire puts on the play to trap a large group of victims and feed on them" "Oh, fuck not, that's great" "Are they gonna feed on me?" "No, every actor in the play will be turned into a vampire to save on the costs of special effects and a torso gives the play an authenticity" "Charlotte, I can't die, this is terrible timing for me" "I am in the prime of my life, I am playing Hamlet right now" "Hamlet!" "On the lonely seas, you shall find prince Hamlet and bring him back to me" "Theo cannot know that you know, if he asks you questions, don't answer." "Repeat what he says as if you don't understand, with a question mark" "What with a question mark?" "Oh, that's perfect" "A paper is not safe if I am captured" "*Pirates threat*" "You two cowards, come here quickly" "Closer, closer" "That's great, that's just great, I knew it" "I am gonna have to quit the play" "It's too late for that" "You and your friends are as good as undead" "I am feeling all tingly inside unless you follow my instructions exactly" "The vampires hate garlic, it's one of the many random rules" "Aye, aye." "I said to get some pizza ... with some garlic" "Nextime you want to break for lunch, you ask first and then we'll all break at the same time" "I hope you bought enough for everyone" "Yeah, yeah" "Ok, so tell me this, genious, if Theo is a vampire how come the sunlight doesn't bother him?" "Many have mutated, garlic is one of the only things that still repels them" "Whooh." "What's a pizza without garlic" "You know, that's my mother used to say" "Put it in your food, you must always be eating garlic" "Hmm, hmm hm hmm" "That's good" "Why, why you're helping me?" "I work for a secret society, that deals with your cult" "Demons, spares, everlasting life, et cetera" "Allright, if you want me, vile wenches of the depths then take me now" "Look how easily the prince gives up" "How weird he's never been in a fight" "Me thinks he's never had his arms cut off" "Great, don't fix it, if it's not broken" "I don't work with him, until he brushes his teeth or something" "His breath is so disgusting he deserves to die" "Hey, Zadeska, that's a little bit harsh, don't you think?" "Ok, come on" "Oh, Jesus man, you stink" "I know, I know, can I talk to you for one second, please?" "Thank you, great." "Fuck it" "Ehm, I ... yeah, I know" "I think that Theo, is a real Horatio" "I know, he's a really good actor, it's actually pretty inspiring" "No, no, no, no" "You really stink" "I know I stink!" "I have to eat garlic" "We had to quit the play" "What?" "We ..." "We have to quit ... the play!" "What do you talking about?" "We have to quit the play!" "We have to quit the play!" "Hey, hey, get it together man." "You gonna blow this for us" "Jules" "Try to remember that the best acting is not acting" "Why, was I overacting?" "As I lay undying" "Oh, Horatio, you don't care about life" "Naive you are, you just want to destroy the Grail, but I have hidden it" "I have hidden the paper that tells of its location with Rosencrantz and Guildenstern whom you shall never find" "Now, die!" "Wha, ha, silly prince!" "one vampire cannot kill another since we are both cut from the same evil demon" "Goddamned, you know who's gonna get cutted, paleface" "You!" "Cause I know Theo, I know what you are!" "No, no, no, Zadeska" "Allright, Zadesca that's" "No, no, what are you doing?" "Horatio had turned Hamlet into vampire in earlier scene" "Zadeska, did you read this play?" "No, no, oh what?" "I said no!" "Are you ok?" "We don't treat actresses like that!" "She was being disobidient" "I thought that was what you're wanted" "I was only trying to protect you, master" "Hey, I think you might be getting a little bit into the character" "He's not breathing!" "What?" "Come on, Vince, open your eyes." "I know that you're there" "If you were to been may deceased by this unfortunate mishap well well then oh well, but I know that's not the case!" "I can feel you" "Did I do good, master?" "No, you did not do good!" "It's taken too long, now everyone thinks he's dead he can't be in the play" "We've already have all these posters made" "Doctor said it was just a spider bite" "Seems so weird" "Well, that must have been a really big spider, dog" "Like what a?" "I don't think he was married bro" "Damn, dude, like, fuck, dog" "He's still very upset about Vince" "Something else's been bothering me too" "Does my beard working for my character?" "I mean I looked it up all night, it's very shakespearian" "But, you know, I am not married to it" "What I am saying?" "Can we talk about this later?" "Yeah, let's table this till maybe after the funeral?" "Anna, I want you to know, that even in these darkest of times" "Your heavenly presence could make even the dead feel alive" "Thank you Theo" "Easy buddy, she's with me" "Of course" "That's just the way I act around the gorgeous woman" "Yeah, well, act a little smaller, ok, powder face" "Unless you want to play part of the corpse" "And Anna, I hope that you won't let this unfortunate incident prevent you from fullfilling your role as Ophelia" "No, I won't quit" "You happy now, fancy pance" "My name is Charlotte Lawrence" "I am part of the secret society, that needs your help" "Hm?" "I know what happened to Vince" "You're in the middle of the two thousand years old conspiracy" "If you have any question, watch this DVD" "Meet me at the central, first thing tomorow morning" "If anyone asks where you're going, you must lie to them" "I am not very good liar" "Just!" "Ok" "Tell them you have dentist appoitment or something" "We don't have much time" "Rosencrucians and Goldenstone" "What did the priest say?" "Oh, ah." "Nothing really, you know she just said a few Hail Marys and Our Fathers kind of thing" "She?" "He!" "You know, she like the religious she" "Listen, Julian, there's no way to recast the play this late date unfortunately you'll have to play Hamlet now" "Thanks for the kind words, Theo" "That Theo guy, he's pretty creepy, hm?" "I think he's probably a hesbian too." "What do you think?" "You don't know what hesbian means, do you?" "You're flirting with him" "You attracted to him?" "What do you want me to say?" "You suppose to say "I wasn't flirting with him, you idiot!"" "I wasn't flirting with him, you idiot!" "It does not work now!" "Hey, honey, just thought, you know we could, unwine, what do you say baby, come on" "Not after Vince's funeral" "Hey, I liked him too, but he was a liar" "I had to do a background check" "And you know what, I was right" "He wasn't even gay" "You did a background check on him?" "Hey" "That's demented" "What, I did that with everybody" "Vince, just think of the afterlife as an audition" "You got the part, man." "You gonna be great in the role" "Hey, you know, you're not the only one around here with depressing news, you know that?" "!" "I just found out, that my shipment of ten thousand Germ-o-Whacks has got returned, ok?" "That insult!" "Was a no brainer!" "What is that?" "What, that, ai ey ... it's a, er, espresso machine" "Have you've been filming us having sex?" "Come on." "So what?" "So what?" "And you think Theo's a creep?" "Honey" "Wait, ok." "Honey, that is important" "Harvy, hold on, hold on" "Listen, honey, let me talk." "Hold on, hold on a second" "Let me talk to you" "I don't wanna hold on any more" "I am leaving you" "Hey, if you're going out, could you bring back some soya milk?" "And a ... a." "Just some soya milk" "Harvy, I need you to do some research on this guy" "His name is Theo Horace." "Some kind of vampire fanatic" "Please, don't turn the TV on." "It hurts my eyes" "Then don't watch it" "It's for my job, sorry" "Hello, you are being initiated into level one of Rosencrucianism and Goldenstoness" "What is this?" "Psh" "The first written evedence of our secret society is the rosencrucian and goldenstonian manifesto published in 1615" "The author claims that he was inspired by an encounter with two vampires named Rosencrutz and Goldenstone" "They described a four hundred year old duel over the Holy Grail between a master Vampire named Horatio and his nemesis the former vampire prince Hamlet" "Who drunk from the Holy Grail curing himself of the vampire curse then traveled around the world erasing much of Horatio's legacy curing another vampires of their curse, turning them back into humans while still retaining his own everlasting life" "Today, a vampire Horatio is known as playwright, Theo Horace" "Who always hires young, controllable human to direct his plays and turns every actress in his play into a vampire bride" "We believe, that Hamlet resigned himself for giving Horatio one last chance to save his soul and that on opening night of Horatio's latest play" "Hamlet will confront Horatio and his crusade will end giving our society a chance at long last to gain possesion of the Holy Grail" "The information on this program is confidential" "Thanks and have a nice day" "Is this some form of experimental treatment?" "Hi, guys" "Anna" "Hugo, please" "Hi" "Hey" "Hey" "I'm really sad" "You look really beautiful" "I think that's making me more sad" "What happened to Vince was ... made me think differently about everything" "That is so weird" "I wish we could live forever together" "but we can't" "All we have is this moment" "Hi, Vince" "Hi, Vince" "Vince's transformation took far too long" "I am going to send Liden with you tonight to kill him" "You must learn to do it more quickly" "Maybe one of us is going to be promoted to play Hamlet, dog?" "Well that is definitely me" "Eh, why is it definitely you?" "Because, I am pretty sure Hamlet wasn't some sort of spanish male whore" "We're going to try a little   exercise" "Relax, close your eyes, lie down" "More practices, dog?" "Yes, dog" "Theo, I was thinking, since we're doing an extra reherseal perhaps we could get an extra scale payment" "No!" "Ok" "But, you're going to enjoy this" "Straddle them" "This is like kind of kinky, dog" "Now, girls, it's imperative that you send to your thoughts and focus on your objective" "Dig in" "Now let your blood mingle, as you feel the beat two, three, four" "Let your blood mingle, three four passion, not emotion, three four one, two, three, four" "Crescendo!" "Release!" "Good" "That was fast" "The importance of being honest" "This is a weird place for dentist office" "Yeah, it's the only place that takes my insurance" "What's a Rosicrucian and Goldenstone?" "Oh, eh, it's probably like old english for root canal and gold crown" "I'll be like ten minutes" "It takes ten minutes?" "Yeah, everything's premade here it's another cool thing about this place" "Thank you for coming, Julian" "I ain't come here for thank yous" "I wanna know why my best friend is dead" "I am sorry, but the truth is that everyone involved in a vampire's play dies or becomes a vampire themselves" "Except the director" "Tea?" "Me?" "We, yes, like could make more hot water" "No, I mean, me the director?" "Why?" "There are certain rules, that exists between heaven and hell that can't be broken" "Just as a vampire cannot enter your home without being invited he cannot put on a vampire play unless it is introduced by a human whose blood has not yet been tainted" "I know, we're making a vampire play" "Theo's play is authobiographical" "Shit!" "Doesn't anyone make anything up anymore" "You need this wooden stake to protect yourself because after opening night they'll have no use for you" "Well, I take an offense there, I don't thinks that's true" "We work very hard at the theater" "Theo will make your exgirlfriend his bride" "He's gonna propose to her?" "Fine, she'll say no" "She will be immortal like him, they will live forever" "Are you trying to make me jealous right now, because it's kind of working" "If jealousy motivates you, then let it fuel your fire" "You lied about the dentist" "Anna, just calm down, hey look, I'll buy you flowers" "You're not supposed to tell me first" "Hi Theo, wanna take a walk or grab a milkshake" "That would be the best milksshake of my life" "Wouldn't ... you're lactose intolerant" "I almost forgot, this is for you" "Oh, give me a break" "Thank you" "I love roses" "She loves roses, Julian" "Theo's a vampire" "A vampire!" "You mean Horatio, don't you?" "He's been working too hard, boy, boy" "Leyuba" "I have been working really hard" "Why ... why'd you stop?" "Julian" "Hey" "Get in the car" "I ... yeah, that's cool." "I think I just gonna walk" "Get in the car ... now!" "This feels a little, like I've seen from the Godfather" "No offense, I don't even know why I said that" "Just relax, I am not gonna hurt you" "I just need talk to you somewhere in private" "There's no way I am getting in that car" "Do you love Anna?" "Ah, mister Bianchi, I am sure I don't know what that means" "Do you care for Anna enough to risk your life to save her?" "that's what I'm asking ya" "Mister, mister Bianchi ... don Bianchi ah ..." "I thought you said you weren't gonna hurt me" "I am not gonna hurt you." "I know you lied to me about being gay but I am pass that, I know you were scared of me" "Sometimes I speak and I don't think about it first" "Whatever" "I don't mean any disrespect" "I mean ..." "Let's whack some fucking vampires!" "Yes, let's." "What do you talking about?" "And I got holding water in it" "Holy water" "And some other surprises ... do you ... do you know anything about how to kill these things?" "Eh ... from what I've been told, I think you can kill them with a stake" "They can drink all that raw blood, but they can't handle a stake?" "No, no, no, not that kind of stake" "This kind of stake" "Whoa, yes, yes, see that, that's sick" "That is sick, man, that is nasty!" "My new invention is gonna come in handy, finally" "How is that gonna do anything, it's just a watergun" "Fuck, I'll break your, fuck" "Break your fucking head open!" "I am sorry, it's clearly so much more than just a watergun" "Long day's journey into fright" "Steady now" "Weird, isn't it" "Art imitates life" "In your case - death" "I always loved Alice in wonderland when I was young" "So weird that the most famous children story was written by a pedophile" "Tis true." "The most best books are written by sinners and the most romantic by men who cannot actually love" "This is so eerie." "I forgot how much cemetaries creep me out" "You're a vampire, Zadeska." "Creepines is sort of part of the job" "Would you let me focus?" "!" "Somewhere over here?" "What ... what happened to Vince's body?" "My private detective said Vince got out" "What does it even mean, Vince got out?" "You know what I mean" "Vince is a freaking vampire, you dipshit" "Like, what you're saying, he just pushes his coffin out of the ground?" "Where the hell's Harvy?" "He's being digested" "Stay close, they can't hurt me" "They can't hurt the director of play" "Hey, I think you've got a delusions of grandier there, kiddo" "Get out your Germ-o-Whack!" "I was in love once ... with Ophelia" "I was in love with Charles and Charge, so ..." "No, Anna the real Ophelia, the one who died seven hundred years ago" "All this time, I've been searching for her" "Anna." "You are the key that could free me from this cage" "But you're not in a cage" "Without your love" "All the world is a cage" "Why is nothing happening?" "I thought you said there was holy water in it" "I can't believe that priest lied to me" "I'll kill him" "Hm, you don't like crucifix, hey, crazy bitch" "Bobby, the stake!" "Where is it?" "It's on your left" "Shit, I got it!" "You like to attack on my friend?" "Right back at you!" "We should go" "Don't fight it" "You're mine now" "It is our fate" "Holy shit, wow" "I've never killed anybody before" "But ..." "I guess she was dead already, right?" "I thought ..." "I thought you were in the mafia" "What?" "Just because I am Italian American wealthy, you think I am in Mafia?" "It's always the same fucking stereotype you people make me sick!" "Where the fuck the other one go?" "I am going home to get some rest" "Hey, kitty." "What?" "Neighbour throw you out?" "Hey, you can keep me company at night?" "Could use a little company" "The cats like soya milk?" "There you go" "Somebody misses their girlfriend?" "Oh shit!" "Vampires are not allowed in somebody's house unless they're invited" "You've just invited me in" "Fucking cat!" "Goddamn it!" "How does it feel?" "Hello" "Hey, Anna, it's me, ok, please don't hang up" "I am really sorry I lied to you yesterday" "I wanna tell you the truth, ok?" "No, no." "It's me." "I was being a bitch, I am so sorry" "Something was really eating away at me" "You were kind of being a bitch" "Ehm, look." "It doesn't matter." "I totally forgive you" "Just ..." "I need you to meet me at Vince's grave like as fast you can get there" "Ok" "Ok, wow." "That was easy" "Miss you, I'll talk to you later" "Ok, bye" "Wake up!" "Wake up!" "Wake up!" "What the hell?" "I tied you up and drugged you, but I don't wanna hurt you" "I am standing outside Bobby Bianchi's home with the forty old ..." "I've been waiting for an hour and half this hat has to protect my brain from radiowaves" "Bobby Bianchi?" "... inside sources reveal, that ..." "Bobby Bianchi's dead?" "... wooden stake bears the fingerprints of this young man," "Julian Marsh" "Holy fucking shit!" "It's you!" "The motive appears to be, a love triangle" "She killed him?" "No" "I can't breathe" "No, I didn't kill anybody" "Shh, quiet, relax!" "Noone's gonna get hurt" "Aye, mate" "The police are outside" "I need you to meet me in one hour at my headquaters" "Don't shoot him" "We're gonna time up" "The policeman cometh" "I am not saying I liked Bobby Bianchi, you know" "He ... he was criminal and ... ehm, you know, he was murdered and now that's, my point really is the man was murdered and murder is still illegal" "Officers, I will be ... right with you" "This patient is having seizures and needs to be rushed to the hospital immediately" "Like, could you please get the door, officer and I will meet you at the hospital" "So we're looking for doctor Marsh" "I am doctor Marsh" "Ok, great, well" "I am detective Wimbly" "We're here, we have a search warrant for the premises ... revealing, voila" "And we would like to ask you some questions about your son, Julian" "Right, I will be ... right with you in a moment but I need to attend to another seriously ill patient" "Julian's room is over here" "Ok" "So anyway, what I was saying the real question just to wrap that, that little conversation up ... is ... was Bobby Bianchi bad enough so that it's good thing that he's dead or ... was he good enough that it's bad that he's now dead?" "Wait ... no" "Ya, that's what I meant, so?" "Do ... you know, I mean" "You know what, just, could you go get us some evidence?" "So I can put this sick fuck away" "Gastro intestinal leakage" "Holy shit, fuck man!" "Are you a fucking ninja?" "!" "Walking through walls now, it really scared me, man" "Oh, look at this, good job" "Wow, look at that, wow, he's a lunatic" "Officers?" "Hey, doc, you know what." "Sorry, one minute" "A side note here, what's the deal with this stomach leakage?" "Is that, I didn't know there was possibility" "Is this like, something I should be worried" "Nah, I had him on warm milk for two weeks and it cleared up" "Thanks" "Ok, so your son is crazy, as you probably know and we have enough evidence here to plead insanity if he turns himself in or if you tell us where we can find him" "Unit two-three-four-one" "Julian Marsh has been spotted on Malberry street headed towards the cemetary" "Oops, too late." "We'll be in touch" "I need you to cooperate and come with me quietly" "I know that your son is innocent" "Aye, he certainly ain't innocent but you sure as hell aren't" "Perhaps I didn't make myself clear" "Just because I don't want to hurt you doesn't mean that I won't" "Ah, Anna, you scared me!" "Hi baby" "Listen, I am sorry I didn't tell you sooner, but this is crazy, but Vince is a vamp ..." "Oh my god, what is she ... what is she doing here?" "Get the fuck away from me" "Guys!" "Hold it right there!" "You're under arrest for the murder of Bobby Bianchi" "I've been framed?" "Yeah, ok, you've been framed" "You're gonna tell me next, you've been framed for evident freaky threesome in the graveyard, right?" "Cause that's a little too intense that's a thing that I was home you about being a big city cop you've gotta be able to pick up crazy immediately, you know" "Whoa, ok, girls" "Seriously!" "We're policemen, ladies!" "Two officers down" "Call a medic immediately" "So I told him, "Horses don't know what a crucifix is"" "That's so hillarious." "You have beautiful hair and teeth" "Why is my dad tied up?" "Guess, we just got to talking" "I am so tied up!" "Why don't we untie him?" "Oh right" "You're son is insane" "He took me to a cemetary." "To meet some strippers" "I think they were hookers" "There was an orgy." "And then they attacked the cops" "Wait a second" "I can breath without a mask." "I can see without the glasses" "There's no more sunspots" "It's a miracle" "Thank you." "I am cured" "Yeah, that's no problem, Hugo" "Can I get some bread?" "I don't think I can get through this anymore" "It does not matter if I introduce the play or not" "The girl I love is vampire" "With your help, Julian, we will hopefully recover the Grail and once we have it, you can cure Anna" "It doesn't matter, it's over" "Hugo, why are you tapping me?" "Well, as someone who witnessed your healing powers today" "I think you're on a role" "And as a girl" "I can tell you that girls tend to get properly turned on when a boy saves their soul from eternal damnation" "Come on, Jules, what's the worst thing that can happen?" "I don't know, dad." "Maybe that I die or become a vampire" "Have you seen him?" "Have you seen Julian?" "Have you seen him?" "Is he here?" "He's not here yet" "If he doesn't show, I ..." "I ... could get some coffee already" "Boss!" "Julian ..." "Julian, yes, yes, I know, I am looking for Julian." "He's not here" "Julian" "Spit it out!" "He's here" "He's here" "Hello ladies and gentlemen" "Lidon, have a good show" "My best friend Vince once told me an actor goes where he's needed" "Well, Vince was needed in the big theater in the sky so ..." "I'll be filling in form as Hamlet" "There's something you all should know" "All the vampires in this play are real" "There's a good chance they're gonna try to feed on you or maybe even make you a vampire too as soon as the play ends, run for your life" "Another thing that is real is the love that Hamlet feels for Ophelia" "Hamlet loves Ophelia" "So if anyone has the Holy Grail" "I could really use it right now" "Does anyone in the audience have the Holy Grail?" "Raise your hand and I sure will come to get it from you" "Ok, well." "Enjoy the show and remember:" "Run for your life" "Death of a pale man" "Dilema, no?" "Question." "What do you think about question?" "I don't care, mister Spakesheare" "I am not asking you to write The merchant of Venice part two" "I only need you to get a clear message to Hamlet" "That those two idiotic vampires he thought might help him   are dead" "I have to hide this vampire nonsense under the dialog because I don't feel like being burned at the stake this month and if the play is no good then the review will be horrible and this Hamlet person, whoever he is" "won't show up!" "Don't!" "Yell!" "At me!" "I only ask you to write these words:" "Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are dead" "You've said Hamlet really loves Ophelia" "What is that mean?" "I am gonna try to find the Grail, cure this curse" "Anna, you're on stage!" "In thirty seconds" "Ok" "But it's not a curse, it's a gift" "And with it you never have to grow up" "I thought you wanna me to grow up" "Women ..." "Rosencrantz" "This meeting likes me much" "We have not met since we were babies" "I have come in hopes that I may claim once more my baby love" "Oh, what the hell is this?" "Come on, come on!" "What do you doing?" "This play that's Horatio wrote with Shakespeare makes us look like idiots!" "So I found this guy, W. S. Gilbert to write the play where we are the heroes" "This cool, no?" "No, it's not cool" "Horatio will still think we are alive" "We gotta find way out of this mess" "Think, Guildenstern, think" "We could write a newer play and call it" "Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are dead or something" "You idiot!" "You imbecile!" "You   genious!" "I think it will work" "Now, can we get Tom Stoppard to write it?" "I hope you don't mind if I just ..." "At last" "The Grail is mine" "You're under arrest for the murder of Bobby Bianchi" "Ok, I ..." "I give up" "What, no." "Not you kid" "This girl, she ... this crazy ... she bit me" "You know you're off the hook actually" "We've found Bobby's collection of homemade porn you got to see this stuff very ... well, it's not bad actually, very   organic" "Anyway, she can be seen, right there on the video sucking his blood, after she stabbed him really crazy!" "She's obviously unbalanced, but we cracked the case didn't have to do" "Case closed" "What the?" "Whoa" "What, what, did ..." "What did you ..." "What happened?" "I think this is something that we don't file or report on" "I think this is something that we forget about and we just pretend ... just pretend this didn't happen if that's ... you're OK with that" "I am OK with that" "OK" "You'll clean up the ..." "No, I am just gonna say this, cause this is right time" "I need you to talk to me" "Ok, though I feel like a real woman saying that, but I need your support" "We're police officers and we've got partners for a reason" "Ok, why don't I just ... .. buy you a beer?" "I like that" "I like that" "The Grail is mine" "Be there!" "Be there!" "Be there!" "Be there!" "Be there!" "Be there!" "Be there!" "Be there!" "Be there!" "Be there!" "Grrr!" "Of course it would be empty" "Hamlet got here first!" "Oh Hamlet!" "Hamlet!" "Ladies and gentleman" "I knew that Hamlet wouldn't miss it for the world and I was right" "It's Hamlet, the real Hamlet" "My play is turning out awesome" "I suppose that this is my entrance" "I ..." "I don't know" "I've actually never been on stage before" "For every entrance there must be an exit somewhere" "I just got here" "Next it from what, Horatio, I am confused" "Oh, from life, perhaps" "Not a day goes by, that I don't dispise you for giving up a gift which I gave you" "The only one you should dispise is whomever dresses you!" "My god, Horatio, for reals" "Look at yourself, Hamlet you've got the vitality and energy of a custard" "Is that what you get from sipping on a Holy Grail?" "No!" "That's what you get when you have a great workout routine and you stick to it!" "Oh god." "Oh, thanks for showing up now that I thought I just got a vampire by myself" "I've got to secure the Grail" "You had to change outfits to secure the Grail?" "Coming in, mister Liden" "Charlotte, I have visual confirmation on Hamlet" "Retrieve the Grail!" "Mister Lidon's with you guys?" "Why doesn't anybody tell me anything?" "I turned you into a vampire!" "Also, by having Shakespeare write that epic tragedy" "I turned you into a god" "The only tragedy here is who in the hell is Rosencrantz's and Guildenstern's acting couch!" "I mean, right, people, am I right?" "They're awful, just terrible!" "Now is this a soliloquy or ... an asidethat I am doing?" "Now you know, why I have to kill him" "Kill him!" "Must ... eat ..." "Hamlet" "Eat or die, dog" "Bony" "In the Hamlet, you made me look like a lunatic in this play ..." "Well, it's actually quite close" "Don't you think?" "I thought so" "What do you, guys?" "I thought so too" "Me too" "I love you" "Bravo" "Kiss me" "But you're my sister" "Listen to me, Hamlet" "A vampire is the most graceful majestic and powerful of creatures" "You would throw that away?" "God, your breath stinks" "The smell of blood was once sweet to you, Hamlet!" "Yes, and now it just tastes like   blood" "Horatio" "You must choose either death or cleanse thyself by sipping from the Holy ..." "Grail!" "Repeat." "Visual confirmation on the Grail!" "You must choose" "But choose wisely" "You choose death then" "You battled to the end there, Horatio" "Thank you" "Charlotte!" "I have the Grail, repeat, I have the Grail" "Thank you, thank you" "Yes, yes, give it to me" "What do you doing, I need the Grail to cure Anna" "There's no time" "The only way to save Anna now is to kill her" "Kill her?" "What do you talking about?" "Kill her?" "You just ... you lied to me then." "You used me" "Take a bow?" "Yes, just like you used all this leading ladies" "Hey, that was absolutely wonderful" "Great special effects" "Thank you very much" "Thank you." "Bravo me, yes I know." "Thank you, thank you" "You know, I do a little bit of acting myself" "Really?" "Yes, there is my number" "Thank you" "Yes, I know I was excellent." "Thank you" "I will give you a call" "Yes" "Call me, ok?" "Call me too" "Oh, Julian, that was by far the best production I've seen in my life since Missis Doubtfire, perhaps" "Thank you so much, prince Hamlet" "Please, call me mister Hamlet, Julian" "Julian ..." "Julian, ha, three hundred years ago" "I slept with a man, accidentaly, named Julian" "Oh, Horatio" "How many years I've dreamt of holding your skull in my hands" "Here, give this to your prop guy" "I am off to find that hot piece of ass from the second row" "Charlotte?" "Shit" "Hey" "Hi" "I've talked to Charlotte Lawrence and she said that the only way that I can save your soul is to kill you" "But this is your chance to win me back" "But you're already un ... unbelievably attracted to you" "I was gonna say undead" "Exactly" "Which is why we can be together forever" "You want that, don't you, Julian?" "Yeah" "And?" "And?" "I love you" "Breakfast is Tiffany" "Hello" "Did you just wake up?" "Eehm, no, no." "I am trying out a new workout" "It's called lying down" "Do you have some young hossle in bed with you?" "Actually, yes" "Aye ... we'll will be there in ten minutes" "We?" "Who's ... who's we?" "Who is this?" "I want to suck your balls" "Vince!" "Guess what I am doing right now" "I am looking at review of a certain someone's little play and I tell you what, it's so goddamn good that I need a promise that I can be in a next one" "That's all there is to it" "Yeah, right, listen Vince" "Crazy how life works" "How ironic is it that I told you your exgirlfriend was sucking life out of you when as it turns out lady's in honest to got vampire" "Dude, I am so happy that you're ok, man" "I would have given anything just to hear your voice one more time" "Hey, man" "Could you put Anna back on the phone?" "Yeah" "Jules" "Anna, hey, before I forget to tell you" "I found Charlotte Lawrence again" "I tracked her down and so we can sip from the Grail and not have our souls be forever damned or whatever" "But a vampire doesn't need to save her soul when ..." "When, when what?" "When she has a soulmate" "Aaah, babe" "You're my soulmate too" "Allright, bye" "Sorry, that was that was my girlfriend" "Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are undead" "Subtitles by Honza"