"He is most certainly NOT" "SUE:" "What's that?" "DEBBIE:" "Science test." "Cheryl does it all the time." "(GIRLS LAUGH)" "MAN:" "Susan Knight and Deborah Vickers." "STUDENTS:" "Oooh!" "Principal's office." "CHERYL:" "Frieda." "Rack off." "Did you dob?" "Nuh." "I don't care." "You don't tell a teacher to..." "Get rooted?" "Yes." "What are you doing?" "Thinking." "Oh, lucky you!" "Get us a couple of shandies, will you, darl?" "Is that why you wanted me to come?" "Well, two years ago, you did everything you could for me." "That's 'cause I was a kid and I didn't know any better." "Well, you're still a kid." "I think we should try and hang with the Greenhills again." "If you dob, you're dead." "What'll you give me?" "You looked great out there." "Well, you are gorgeous." "Watch out for that one, mate." "She's a nympho." "Pity I'm taken." "BRUCE:" "Who's that chick over there?" "Debbie." "She's kind of hot." "(KIDS HOOT AND WHISTLE)" "Want to go around with me?" "Yeah." "SONG: # See the lady in the streetcar light" "# Colour a la Toulouse" "# Television and red, red wine" "# So, won't you tell me" "# Won't you tell me the truth?" "# Are you old enough?" "# Are you old enough?" "# Are you old enough?" "Ooh-ooh" "# Are you old enough?" "# Ooh" "# Are you old enough?" "# Are you old enough?" "# Are you old enough?" "BOY:" "Ho-ho!" "I can't go anywhere without somebody wanting me." "Hey, where's Lori?" "She went outside." "I want to introduce her to someone about a commercial." "Did you eat any hors d'oeuvres?" "Good. 'Cause that's dinner." "GIRL:" "Nice costume." "Shake?" "Are you ignoring me or pretending you don't know me?" "You've gotta let me know so our stories corroborate." "Have you met the model?" "The mermaid?" "She's my sister." "Is it true she flew on a plane first class?" "The pilot let her sit with him the whole time, so the seat was wasted." "Need more punch." "Yes, please." "It wasn't a question, Frieda." "Hang eight, Sue." "Your octopus mate's dead keen." "I don't know her." "(KNOCKING)" "Your mum?" "Nuh." "Just some stranger, I guess." "Oh, you had the train last year." "But I want the train." "You can't have it twice." "That's stupid." "'Stupid' is not a dinner table word." "Can I be excused?" "Finish your dinner first." "Why don't I make you the swimming pool?" "It's for girls." "Oh!" "I could put your soldiers in it and I could turn it into a desert oasis." "(FARTS)" "Go on." "Go sit on the toilet." "How long for?" "As long as it takes!" "But he hasn't finished yet!" "Can I have a drag?" "Got scabby lips?" "Nuh." "Can't blow rings." "I've tried." "Unreal." "(PHONE RINGS)" "Can I PLEASE answer it?" "Finish your dinner." "(PHONE CONTINUES RINGING)" "Deborah, slow down." "It's really bad manners to choke to death at the dinner table." "(PHONE STOPS RINGING)" "Sue won't die of waiting and neither will you." "It wasn't Sue." "Well, whoever it was will call back." "He's not gonna call back." "'He'?" "Is there a he?" "Who?" "No-one." "Do I know him?" "You know everyone, Mum." "So, he goes to your school?" "He did." "He dropped out?" "He's an apprentice at the refinery." "Bruce Board?" "!" "Oh, Deborah!" "In my experience, there are either bad kids, good kids or dumb kids and Bruce Board was two out of three." "So, she gets an apartment and an allowance and a driver whenever she needs it." "It's only when I'm working." "Which is all the time, of course." "Roger!" "Oh, God no." "Save us." "Here we go." "(IMITATES ASIAN ACCENT BADLY) Hurro, Roger!" "Excuse me." "What's up with your face, mate?" "Oh, you tell me." "I can't see myself in the mirror." "Everything's brurry!" "Help me!" "Ching-Chong Chinaman cannot steer a boat!" "(GURGLES)" "(LAUGHS)" "They weren't Chinks, you retard." "They were from Vietnam." "Poor buggers." "You've always been a bleeding heart, Pammy." "It must be nice having Lori home, Pammy." "Tell me, did you ask her what she had to do to get a first-class ticket on an aeroplane?" "Excuse me?" "It's all part of her contract." "I bet it is." "Your grandkids are gonna be so slanty eyed, they'll be bumping into walls." "Hey, Gerry, is this what you're looking for?" "Jesus Christ, mate!" "Fuckin' hell!" "(LAUGHS)" "Oh, come on, Gerry." "Dare you to compare." "(CHUCKLES) Wanker." "Did you get with him?" "I don't want to talk about it." "Fish fingers?" "Guys are dogs." "Nothing even happened." "A... ..B... ..C... ..D. D?" "Deacon." "Darren." "Darren Peters!" "Come in." "Do it too soon and you're a moll." "Then no-one will touch ya." "Too long, he'll tell everyone you're frigid and drop you." "Get the timing perf, he'll keep ya." "Might even get you a friendship ring one day." "How many rings have you got?" "You ain't nothing until you get a friendship ring." "But you don't always get them." "You have to be together for at least a month." "So...how do I know when to let him root me?" "How long has it been now?" "10 days." "Hmm...more than a week, less than two." "Tricky." "And who knows with Bruce?" "So...?" "I don't know." "What would you do?" "I don't know." "Well, what DID you do?" "I lost it to my cousin on Valla Beach one Christmas." "Didn't have to worry about all this." "I wish I had a cousin like that." "What if..." "what if I don't know what to do?" "When he's on you, just lie back." "He'll show you what to do." "Tracey reckons she likes it." "She's lying." "(CAR HORN BLARES) You ready?" "What about your brother?" "As long as I'm back before Mum gets home from work, it's alright." "(LULLABY MUSIC PLAYS)" "In the back, Cheryl." "What?" "!" "No!" "Don't be a weak act." "Far out!" "This is bullshit." "David Vickers!" "Martin?" "!" "Martin?" "!" "Your son is smoking cigarettes!" "That...that was a cigarette, wasn't it?" "Where did you get it?" "I don't want to dob." "Debbie." "Debbie gave it to you?" "Right." "After your dad gives you a good smack," "I am gonna confiscate your Shrinky collection." "(GROANS)" "Well, that seems harsh." "I didn't even draw back." "Not...you." "Tell your friend we'll be back in half an hour." "Oh." "I'll wait for you here." "These are real nice, Bruce." "Mum made 'em." "You comin'?" "Yeah." "Here?" "Did you bring Vaso?" "Sorry." "Are you gonna get your gear off?" "(GASPS)" "That was just my finger." "(WHIMPERS)" "Ah, fuck." "BRUCE:" "Oh, God." "(GRUNTS) Stop, stop, stop." "(GRUNTS) Stop!" "Oh, that really stings." "(KIDS SHOUT, ROCKS CLATTER)" "So, what was it like?" "Well, it was..." "I don't know." "What do you mean you don't know?" "I don't know." "Whatever he did, it really bloody hurt." "I don't think he fits." "So, are you a virgin or not?" "I told you, I don't know." "Danny's asking who you are." "Danny Dixon?" "The apple core." "(LAUGHS) Far out!" "You're gonna marry Danny Dickson." "Why didn't we think of it?" "Ask him for a ciggie." "No!" "Yeah, you have to." "The apple core never lies." "He's a doll and he likes you." "Will you come with me?" "Debbie!" "Hi, Danny." "Is Sue Knight going around with anyone?" "Um...nup." "Sue!" "So, want to go around with me?" "Um, OK." "Kiss her." "BOY 1:" "Yeah, mate." "She's all yours, Danny-boy." "BOY 2:" "Go, mate." "She's all yours." "Yoo!" "(BOYS JEER) Go, Danny-boy!" "(CAR HORN TOOTS)" "Shit!" "It's Mrs Vickers!" "(KIDS LAUGH)" "BOY:" "Mrs Vickers!" "I've gotta go." "Bye." "BOY:" "See ya!" "I have driven all over looking for you and I'm sick of it." "I have driven all over looking for you and I'm sick of it." "Why?" "Get in the car now." "I can smell smoke on you from here." "Well, the other kids were smoking." "Blow on me." "Her breath stinks." "Blow on me!" "I trust you, Debbie." "I am really shocked." "And you gave David one." "He stole it!" "No, I didn't!" "Is this Bruce Board's influence?" "No!" "He hates smoking." "Because if it is..." "Deb, you are such a good kid." "I just want you to stay focused on school and doing well." "Don't get caught up with kids that'll drag you down." "I won't." "I promise I won't, Mum." "I'm really sorry." "I'm really sorry." "Ooh, Frieda!" "Where are you off to, Frieda?" "What you doing, Frieda?" "(LAUGHS) Coming to the pipes, Frieda!" "No, stop it!" "I think she likes it." "Frieda!" "Stop!" "When a man and his wife truly love each other, the notion of sex will inevitably arise." "With consent, they will then remove their clothing and begin to touch one another gently." "This is known as foreplay." "After much cuddling and some petting, the husband's manhood becomes erect." "Then slowly he inserts it into his wife's privates and begins to thrust." "(WHISPERS) Debbie?" "Should've eaten it." "Are you a sexual truant, Debbie Vickers?" "A what, sorry?" "You heard me." "Um...no." "I don't need to tell you I'm disgusted." "Disgusted!" "Mr Porteus had the good sense to hand this over to me." "Well, it's not mine." "Of course it's yours." "Do you even know what a 'rooting machine' is?" "Everyone says it, Miss." "It doesn't mean anything." "Of course, I know who this Bruce Board boy is." "Former pupil, no great loss." "And I'm assuming, from your note, that you've had sexual intercourse with him." "Or you intend to?" "You could do better, Vickers." "Thank you, Miss." "Don't thank me, Deborah." "Are you gonna call my mum?" "I think we both know what would happen if I called your mother." "Why can't I buy you a dress?" "No, Dad." "Levis." "I just..." "I always seem to be buying you the same pair of jeans." "I just want to try them on." "Why do you need to try them on when you're already wearing a pair?" "Just look down." "These are a different shape." "Oh, man!" "A different shape?" "I need a drink." "Come on, Dad." "Jeans then physie shoes then Darrell Lea." "You promised!" "And after that," "Daddy's buying a little bottle of Scotch for the way home." "What do you even like about Scotch?" "Is that Gary Hennessey's dad?" "Roger." "G'day, Ferris." "Take this." "Take this." "How's Debbie?" "She's gated." "Again." "What for?" "Smoking." "She's always in trouble for something." "Judy called your mother." "I knew it!" "Your mother and I thought that trapping you in a car was our best bet at siphoning information out of you." "Judy said she saw you kissing a boy." "His name's Danny." "Is he a good bloke?" "Yeah." "He's real good-lookin'." "You'll like him, Dad." "He surfs." "He surfs." "Hey." "I don't want you telling your mum we saw Ferris today." "Or anybody." "Why not Mum?" "Well, it's none of our business." "You can't go poking your head around in other people's marriages." "Well, if Mum asks, I'm telling her." "But she's not gonna ask." "Yeah, well, then we have a deal with a clause." "(LAUGHS) Jeez, you drive a hard bargain." "I'm not lying to Mum." "I'm not lying to Mum." "What are you doing, mate?" "That was my wave." "You snaked ME, mate." "Eh?" "You snaked ME, mate!" "You need to learn some manners, mate." "You snaked ME!" "Oi!" "You like that?" "Right." "Do you want to have a go?" "Piss weak, you young blokes." "Who was that?" "Just some old deadshit." "Hey, sit down." "I'm not gonna hit you, you little poofter." "Relax." "You ripped it up out there this arvo." "Are you a perv?" "I'm Gumby Richards." "Shit." "Gumby Richards." "You've got what the other boys don't have and you're not even trying." "You look different in 'Tracks'." "Keep it up, brother." "It's the fountain of youth." "And it's salty." "(MUTTERS) Fuckin' hell." "Can I...?" "Can I have a ciggie...?" "Can I have a ciggie, Bruce?" "(ROCK MUSIC PLAYS ON CAR STEREO)" "(TOOTS HORN)" "Bye, Mum!" "Stop!" "No daughter of mine goes running to the sound of a horn." "Please let me go down." "I can tell him to knock for next time." "Pleading with your father's not gonna change a thing." "If Bruce's parents haven't taught him that it's common decency to come to the front door, then I'm happy to oblige." "(DEBBIE SIGHS) I agree with your mother." "Mum!" "Is that Debbie's boyfriend?" "Please do not let him embarrass me." "You know the rules, sweetheart." "If this boy wants to pick you up, he can come inside and meet the family." "Yes!" "Dad, no!" "We can't let you go out with just anybody." "This is a boy who got his own head stuck in his schoolbag." "I had to cut him out of it." "He's not five anymore, Mum." "People don't change." "Not that much." "(TOOTS HORN) Nuh-uh-uh-uh!" "Nobody moves." "(SIGHS)" "(TOOTS HORN)" "He's got no manners!" "He'll come." "You wait and see." "He'll come." "My parents want you to come inside." "Mrs Vickers." "Hello, Bruce." "How are you?" "Yeah, yeah, alright." "Yeah." "Martin Vickers." "Mr Vickers." "(WHISPERS) Wow." "Cripes, it's...it's big." "So, we understand you'd like to take Deborah to the pictures." "Yeah." "Deborah has a 10pm curfew." "Has she told you that?" "Yeah." "Will you be drinking?" "No." "Bruce doesn't drink." "I don't want my daughter in your car if you're drinking, Bruce Board." "Do you understand me?" "Yes, Mrs Vickers." "There's a certain responsibility that comes with having a driver's licence - a responsibility to the community and to your passengers." "Bruce?" "Yes, Mr Vickers." "Not a second past curfew." "OK, Mum." "Your mother and I just want you to be sensible." "Can you relax?" "It's just the flicks." "Oh, Debbie's got a hairy vagina." "(SNORTS)" "What...what did you just say?" "Somebody's got their food face on." "Dinner's in the crockpot." "Your father promised he'd be home by 8:00." "I cooked apricot chicken." "Dad hates fruity food." "Did he say that?" "Really?" "I don't recall him saying it." "I'm going out." "What a waste." "I should have asked him what he felt like when he phoned." "I'm sure he'll eat it anyway." "Your father and I used to go to the drive-ins." "(LAUGHS) So romantic." "You should ask him to take you." "Maybe I will." "Don't eat from the pot." "Oh, he's home." "I have to go." "He's gonna park me in." "No, no." "Just say hello." "Eat." "I can't." "Where are you off to?" "The flicks." "Mum said I could take her car." "Well, come inside." "We'll have a beer, then go." "I'm late." "Five minutes." "I haven't seen you since Sunday." "I've been here all week, Dad." "Come on." "Inside." "I want to have a beer with my boy." "Please, can you at least move your car?" "YVONNE:" "Do you want a Scotch?" "Hmm?" "Oh, I'll get it." "You put your feet up." "No, no, no." "It's fine, darling." "I-I-I don't mind." "You are a good woman." "Gary just asked why we don't go to the drive-in anymore." "Kids." "Say the funniest things, don't they?" "Who knows?" "Maybe it's a good idea." "(CAR ENGINE STARTS)" "(CAR ENGINE STARTS)" "Three, thanks." "That's $5." "Have you got anyone else in there?" "Cheers." "Thank you." "DANNY:" "Alright, you can come out now." "(GASPS) Phwoar!" "I thought I was gonna asphyxiate." "'Arse' what?" "DEBBIE:" "Suffocate." "It's gross in here." "You can barely breathe." "(SOFT GROANING AND GRUNTING) (VAN SQUEAKS RHYTMICALLY)" "CHERYL:" "I'm going for a walk." "(DOOR CLOSES)" "DANNY:" "Ohhh." "Mmmm!" "Oh!" "(PANTS)" "(GROANS)" "A little present for Brucie, eh?" "Do you want a choc-top?" "Oh, yeah." "Thanks." "(FLY UNZIPS)" "(SIGHS)" "Where's Danny?" "He's getting us a choc-top." "BRUCE:" "Are you coming?" "I'll try to save you some." "CHERYL:" "Hey." "I'm not allowed." "Who says?" "The boys." "They won't notice." "Take a sip." "The boys." "They won't notice." "Take a sip." "No." "DANNY:" "Piss off, you drunk moll." "Get out of here." "Go on." "Get." "Your choc-top." "Thanks." "(BRUCE GROANS)" "Ahhh!" "Ah..." "Now we're getting somewhere." "(GASPS) Stop, stop, stop, stop." "That was my bum hole." "JUDY:" "Is this what all the other parents are doing?" "Waiting?" "Deborah is out with that drongo, Bruce Board, and we are expected to sit here, stuck in living hell." "Why did we let her go, Marty?" "We didn't have to." "What if she wanted us to keep her home and we just didn't see it?" "Do you think that's possible?" "I think she really wanted to go." "Maybe we could make the best of a bad situation." "Oh, how can you think about that now?" "Mr Percival!" "Mr Percival!" "MAN: (YELLS) Out of the way!" "Oh, shit, Cheryl!" "Ew!" "Carrots." "Mr Percival." "They shot Mr Percival." "Mr Percival!" "(PANTS SOFTLY)" "Mr Percival!" "Mr Percival!" "I can't believe the boys left Cheryl at the drive-in last night." "(SPITS) Yeah." "She was so drunk." "She's gonna make a bad name for herself." "Vicki said she hitched home." "Deadset?" "You wanna hang out tomorrow?" "(YAWNS) I can't." "I'm gated." "I was only 10 minutes late from the drive-in, and Mum chucked a mental." "Serious?" "How long for?" "Till they decide I'm not gated." "Sometimes I feel like I'm gated more than I'm not gated." "Debbie's on the phone!" "David!" "She's gated!" "Shut up, David!" "Let go!" "Mum!" "(ENGINE IDLES)" "Get in the car." "Where are we going?" "Not far." "I was gonna go for a surf." "I want to explain something to you." "Go on." "You think you can take my fucking car, cover it in vomit, and nothing will happen to you?" "Reverse." "No." "Drive!" "(SCOFFS)" "Piss weak." "(TYRES SCREECH)" "You're still gated, and you have chores to do tomorrow." "DEBBIE:" "Yes, Mum." "The only reason I'm letting you go is because you put me in a position when you asked Pam to ring on your behalf." "I didn't." "She wanted to ring." "It's not acceptable for Pam to do your dirty work." "Don't do it again." "Thank you, Pam, for having her." "Oh, she's no trouble." "I'm sure Deborah will be a perfect little lady." "Won't you, Deb?" "Sure will." "What if Bruce drops me 'cause he can't root me?" "He won't." "Danny says he's really into you." "(SIGHS)" "Do you reckon I'm too small?" "Well, I'm not big." "Yeah, well, maybe Bruce is bigger than Danny." "How different can dicks be?" "Well, Cheryl reckons some guys are so small, you don't know if it's their dick or their thumb." "What?" "(DOOR OPENS)" "Alright, girls, under the covers." "All clear." "Go to sleep, my little piccaninnies." "Sleeping now." "(CONTINUES SPRAYING)" "(WHISPERS) I know it wasn't Danny's thumb." "(SNORTS AND LAUGHS) Don't!" "(KNOCKS AT WINDOW)" "(BOYS MOUTH WORDS)" "(LAUGHTER AND SHOUTING)" "(ROCK MUSIC PLAYS)" "(SCREAMS)" "Debbie!" "Oh, thanks." "Where are the beers?" "They're over there." "(LAUGHS)" "BOY:" "Your turn, Jonno." "There's Frieda." "Where?"