"No potty breaks." "Dude, stop the truck." "You can leave us here." "It"s fine." "Hey, how far is the lake?" "About a mile east." "Perfect, because I need a bath." "Not that I don"t love this sexy, impulsive thing, "cause I do." "But what are the chances we"re gonna get lost and, you know, we"re gonna die horribly?" "Look, you keep talking like that and you"re gonna start lactating." "Wow." "It"s so beautiful here." "And real scary, huh?" "Okay, fine." "Make fun of me." "But when a Wolverine comes out and mauls you, you"re gonna be sorry." "And you"re naked." "You noticed." "God." "What are you laughing at, pal?" "I meant to do that." "Come on." "You laughing at me?" "Yeah." "Are you?" "I see." "Hey, what"s that?" "Come on, the water"s cold." "It shrinks a bit." "What?" "I don"t hear anything." "Hey, come on." "I got an idea." "Cool." "God, something bit me." "Yeah, right." "Perhaps Wolverine." "I"ve never heard you be so verbal." "Take it easy, cowboy." "Now, you see, that"s what I"ve been talking about." "Help!" "Help!" "Oh, my God!" "Hey, big guy." "You wanna come inside?" "Your mom needs some help." "Sure, Dad." "Okay." "Sadie!" "No cell phone reception." "It"s like we"ve gone back in time." "How can this place smell of cookies and foot cream simultaneously?" "Well, they were two of Aunt Sadie"s favorite things." "That and dropping F-bombs." "I am not gonna miss that at Thanksgiving." "Didn"t she always blame it on the dog?" "Yeah." "You know, as both your wife and your real estate agent," "I can pretty much say with confidence that most of this crap has gotta go." "It"s gonna be a huge job." "Yeah, but we can"t bring it all back to the house." "She was eccentric." "Really?" "Yeah, a different word popped into my mind." "You know, everything"s almost exactly how I remember it." "I mean, I never thought that..." "Well, I never thought that we"d be cleaning out her cabin, so..." "I feel like I"m selling part of my childhood with this place." "I know, honey." "But it"s best we stay in town." "Can I have that?" "No." "Yeah, sure." "No." "Yeah." "Yes." "I have a pop quiz for you, Mr. EPA Scientist." "Okay?" "So what kind of animal lives in a tank like that one?" "The smart money"s on that lizard right there." "What?" "ls there nothing there?" "Well, that was probably my mistake, I thought it was..." "Funny!" "Freak out the city girl." "Just "cause I don"t share the Bickerman infatuation with..." "What?" "Life?" "Nature?" "Nature to you." "Disgusting creatures to me." "All right, well, heads up for both of you, there might be an escaped lizard somewhere in the house." "Can we keep it?" "Absolutely not." "No." "Besides, you already have a pet." "Crocodiles aren"t pets." "Well, they are to some people, pal." "Not if they"re stuffed." "You know what?" "If we find any kind of vermin in the house, your dad is gonna take care of it." "Dad?" "In a completely humane way, of course." "Sure." "Sit down." "Mr." "Bickerman?" "Hey, Nate." "Nathan." "Come on in." "Sheriff Willinger." "Hey." "Susan." "Hey." "It"s been a while." "Almost a year since Sadie passed." "I was going by, I saw your vehicle." "I thought I"d drop in and say hey." "Yeah, of course." "Yeah." "Takes after Sadie, huh?" "Connor, could you give us a minute, please?" "Okay." "Thanks." "Yeah, we haven"t told him, so..." "I don"t blame you." "A boy his age, that would raise questions you don"t have answers to." "Hell, I"d like to know what your aunt was doing feeding wild crocs." "Well, she was lonely." "I mean, I know we live in town." "We don"t get out here that much." "And with..." "You know, ever since Connor was born, and our jobs, it"s..." "Well, there"s never enough time." "And now the place is for sale." "It took a year for us to drive out here to clean up Sadie"s stuff." "It"s..." "You know, believe me, this isn"t easy for me." "We..." "If we had a choice, we probably wouldn"t even sell it." "Yeah, but it"s not like we can come out here and have a picnic and forget about what happened." "I don"t even like bringing Connor here for a few hours." "Well, that"s understandable." "I"d like you to know that I"ve been all over that lake." "Back to front, top to bottom, had a sonar rig brought in." "I can tell you, ma"am, there ain"t nothing swimming in that lake bigger than a trout." "Yeah, but you can never be sure." "Right?" "Ma"am, when my predecessor left the job," "the county wanted to hire somebody..." "Hey, where are you going?" "...who could guarantee that what happened here didn"t happen again, and that"s me." "Now, you"re gonna have to trust me." "You know?" "I"ve seen things that are a lot worse than what happened here." "Hell, I had a 6"5"" cross-dresser come at me with a machete." "What I"m trying to say is, in this world it"s the people you gotta worry about, not the animals." "l"m gonna be on my way, here." "Sure, sure." "Thank you for coming by." "You take care, now." "All I"m saying is that if the lake is cleared, there"s no reason to sell." "Nathan, we didn"t even come here when Sadie was alive." "I know." "But, I mean, no one knows better than you how bad the market is right now." "I"m just saying, why don"t we wait?" "You know, test it out." "We could..." "Please?" "You know what?" "Fine." "Okay." "We can wait until the market recovers." "But Connor is not swimming in that lake." "Done." "But he"s not gonna make any friends if we keep dragging him off to the middle of nowhere." "Well..." "Connor?" "Where"d he go?" "I don"t know." "Come here, little guy." "I"m not gonna hurt you." "Looks like I got a pet after all." "Lots of them." "Connor!" "Don"t run off without telling us, okay?" "Sorry." "Come on." "We"re driving back to town." "It"s 6:.00 a.m. and you"re not on the trail." "You going soft on me?" "Yeah." "I thought you had a big day." "I do." "Don"t I at least get a ""good morning""?" "Sorry." "We lost another one." "The signal from the elk"s radio collar went and became erratic, and then we lost it completely yesterday afternoon, so..." "This one is gonna be the last one." "Meaning you know what"s been happening to them?" "I think it"s a poacher." "I think they"re bringing hunters onto state land." "I think it"s a business." "And..." "I hope you find your bad guy." "Good morning." "And don"t forget to say goodbye to your zoologist-in-training." "Right." "Right." "Hey, is Vica coming by today?" "She has to take her dog to the vet." "Something about it having another panic attack, but I promised Connor I would spend the day with him anyway, so..." "Hey, Connor, I"m heading out the door." "You wanna say goodbye to me before I leave?" "Love you." "Goodbye?" "When did you get back?" "Late last night." "Something came up at work and I will tell you all about it when I get home, okay?" "But, Dad..." "Hey, I got to go, okay?" "Bye." "God!" "Mother of..." "Next year, you are going to summer school." "You"ve been on there all morning." "When are you gonna be done?" "Soon, honey." "There are a lot of cabins that need renting and I have so many people counting on me." "Two hours, tops, okay?" "I promise." "Honey, why don"t you just go play outside?" "Connor?" "Hey, guys." "Hey, guys." "Do you wanna see something cool?" """Hey, guys." "Wanna see something cool?""" "What a freaking jester." "What a dork." "Feeding time." "That"s all I got." "Hey, no eating the cook." "I"ll try to bring more next time." "Where is it?" "Around back." "Tried to take a chunk out of one of my customers." "It"s wicked big." "I think he came up through the toilet." "You"re wasting my time." "Take it easy, Tony." "Willinger." "Yes, dear." "Yes, dear." "Yeah." "Yeah." "Here, could you hold on?" "Hold on, dear." "Willinger." "I got a lead on my missing elk." "Seems she"s wandering around somewhere near Sadie"s lake." "Nathan, I don"t wanna hear anything about crocodiles." "There"s nothing in that lake bigger than a trout." "Just stay put." "That was productive." "Yes, dear." "Well, you shouldn"t have put it in the microwave." "I Wish I could believe you." "It Was a one-night stand, Marsha." "She meant nothing to me." "I have absolutely no feelings for her." "ut this is how..." "He was kissing Jessica before the last commercial." "...SusanBs little one?" "The little one With the same hair and eyes as yours." "Susan?" "Susan means absolutely nothing to me." "Where"s my mom?" "Connor, where have you been?" "Forgot my phone." "Where are you going?" "Honey, I am so sorry, but I have a thing." "What was I saying?" "I have a last minute open house." "So I am gonna leave you with Vica for the rest of the day and tomorrow we will go see a movie." "I promise." "But you said that we"d..." "Connor, this is important." "Please understand." "But I need to show you something." "Well, show me when I get home," "I love you so much." "Bye." "Connor!" "What are you doing?" "You smell like dead goat." "Go take bath." "I"m going to the store to get some baseball cards." "I don"t care about your baseball cards." "Connor!" "You didn"t take bath." "You got to stay away from those cookies, boy." "You seem to have gained quite a bit of weight since I last saw you." "About two minutes ago." "Well, I..." "If it were me, I"d kick your little butt." "Parents" number." "And not the fake one, either." "Gotta be out here somewhere." "God!" "Sorry." "Sorry." "Thanks." "I think you knocked out a filling." "Well, I know the name of a good dentist in town, if you need one." "Thanks for the tip." "Maybe we can call it with your space phone." "Space phone?" "Yeah, good one." "No, it"s a radar antenna." "Are you okay?" "Yeah, I"ll let you know." "I"m a zoologist." "I"m doing a project for the EPA on elk, so." "Elk?" "Like deer with big antlers?" "Yeah, but don"t tell the deer that." "Seriously, Connor?" "Stealing meat?" "No, I..." "Mr. Dimitri, I am so sorry." "He"s never done anything like this before." "Really?" "Yeah, he just loves meat." "Ever since he was wee high..." "Well, goody-goody for him." "All he has to do now is pay for it." "Nobody wants to buy used meat." "No, of course." "lt"s not for me, it"s for..." "Connor," "I want you to go straight home and wait for me in your room." "But, Mom..." "Now." "Look, I promise this will never happen again." "He"s a good kid, really." "He"s just..." "He"s a little bored, and that is my fault, not his." "So, how much do I owe you?" "Just to let you know, the chicken went off sale yesterday." "So, are they usually like that?" "Well, unless there"s a species of flying-elk-head I haven"t heard of," "I"m gonna go out on a limb and say no." "Sorry." "Excuse me." "Hello." "Hey." "I just got pulled away from one of the biggest commissions of my life to bail your son from DimitriBs, where he was being held for shoplifting." "Shoplifting?" "Okay, tell Dimitri we"ll pay for whatever candy bar he stole." "I paid for it, honey, but it wasn"t candy." "No, he had a backpack full of meat." "He"s stealing meat?" "Yeah." "And apparently, he"s taken up smoking." "Smoking?" "So, remind me to put a lock on the wine cabinet." "He said theyBre VicaBs but she doesnBt even smoke." "And speaking of Vica, why are we paying her to sit at home and watch TV whilst Connor is out shoplifting?" "Well, at least we"re keeping one of them off the street." "Did we not feed Connor the right things as a baby?" "Did I eat too much chili when he was in my womb, and now he"s a sociopath?" "What?" "He"s not a sociopath." "I mean, every kid does something like this at some point." "He"s just..." "He"s being a little boy." "A little boy who"s been unsupervised." "Okay, put him on the phone, I wanna talk to him." "I sent him home." "Sorry about your day." "For what it"s worth, mine isn"t going much better." "Really?" "Sorry." "Okay, well, I"ll see you at home." "Okay." "Bye, babe." "Yeah." "And I just hope you don"t become a vegetarian any time soon." "I"m voting for pork chops." "Bye." "Sorry about that." "Cell reception out here is a once in a lifetime opportunity, so..." "Hey, what could have eaten the body?" "A bear?" "I told you, I saw cougar tracks over there." "He wasn"t asking you, Charlie." "He was asking the zookeeper." "Zoologist." "lsn"t that what I said?" "No." "I don"t think it was a bear, but it may have been a cougar." "What did I say?" "A cougar named Reba." "You know what you did?" "Yeah." "Excuse me, sugar, could you pick that up?" "Thank you, handsome." "You can keep it." "Why would a hunter chop off the head?" "Yeah, isn"t the head supposed to be the best part?" "Well, that"s what I keep trying to tell you, but you don"t wanna go for it." "Well, it doesn"t make rational sense, no." "But that might be the point." "She might be trying to mess with me." "Hunters are weird." "Yes." "So if it wasn"t this cougar lady, then what was it?" "I don"t know." "Look, if you guys run into any trouble, there"s a cabin just on the other side of that point." "You can duck in there if you"d like, okay?" "Yeah, what kind of trouble?" "Just be safe and don"t mess with the elk." "All right?" "Sorry." "I hope you find your moose killer." "Elk!" "Whatever." "Excuse me, is there a Reba around here anywhere?" "Just there?" "Thanks." "Excuse me." "You Reba?" "Depends on who"s asking." "I contacted you, I"m Brett." "Then that would make me Reba." "Have a seat." "Now, if I may say so, that photo in your ad, it just don"t do you no justice, Reba." "Now, my good buddy Walt here and myself, we thought we were just getting ourselves a hunting guide, but, girl, you are one fine package." "Well, aren"t you just such a sweet talker." "Once we"re miles away from civilization, been out there a few days, missed everything you shot at, and your belly starts grumbling, you"re gonna appreciate my aim a lot more than my other assets." "If you receive my meaning." "Well, I, for one, am a multi-tasker and I plan on appreciating both." "So," "Brett, was it?" "How"d you hear about Reba?" "Internet." "Internet." "How about you two load your gear into my truck?" "It"s the big one out front." "Boat on the back, gun rack up front, mildly offensive bumper-sticker." "You"ll see." "All right." "Let"s go, Walt." "Hey, hey, hey, hey." "All right." "There." "Thank you." "So, Brett?" "You play your cards pretty close to the vest, but I think I deserve to know what you"re really doing here." "Your website said that..." "I don"t have a website." "Well, let"s just say you"re kind of a legend." "A legend?" "Of what sort?" "Bigfoot?" "Crop circles?" "Global warming?" "No." "You know how to find things that don"t wanna be found." "I"m looking for a girl." "A girl that hangs out in the woods?" "Or the lake." "I"m not really sure." "All right, look." "I don"t have a chance of finding her on my own, and you"re the only guide that goes into the area." "All right, then." "Elks for the yahoos." "One Lois Lane for Superman here." "Where is it?" "The meat stealer." "Your mother called." "Go to room." "Lost something?" "Like a lighter?" "Give it back." "You tried to get me in trouble by putting this and the cigarettes in my backpack." "Give it back right now." "And you can ask my mom for the cigarettes." "Teddy?" "Teddy?" "Connor!" "Come back here." "Your mother will be mad at me." "Devil child, where did you go?" "Okay, so I"m down to one hotdog." "You guys are gonna have to share." "Connor!" "It was here." "Nathan, I am sick and tired of these false alarms and pranks." "Now, I drove all the way out here because you promised me a bloody mess." "Now, where is it?" "lt was right here." "Teddy, stay." "Come on, Teddy, get away from there." "Wait." "Teddy, no." "Watch yourself." "Teddy, no!" "Come back, Teddy." "No." "It"s a stick." "Yeah." "Poor Teddy, now I know why you have a panic attack." "How many elk did you say you"ve lost?" "ln the last six months?" "Yeah." "Too many." "I"m starting to think it"s not a poacher." "Hey, I checked that lake three times." "And, Nathan, I swear to God my eyes were open the whole time." "Now look, I may be from the city, but I know my way around the wilderness." "Last time you checked that lake was a year and a half ago, and things change." "Now, we owe it to the community to make sure that lake is clear." "I don"t live with my head in the sand." "I need evidence." "Well, what if something just came and ate it?" "And what if the evidence is a stick?" "I don"t have sophisticated sonar equipment." "We"d have to order it in." "That would take days." "Okay." "But we do have the next best thing back at the station." "Well, great." "So you and I, we"ll go back, we"ll come here, we"ll check the lake." "Now, nothing would make me happier than for you to be right." "All right." "All right, let"s go fishing." "Yes, dear." "Yes, dear." "Why don"t you do that?" "I bought this with my own money." "You know, in New York City we got people who swear they"ve seen Elvis at 63rd and Park." "We got people who swear they"ve been abducted by aliens and, yes, we"ve even got people who swear they"ve seen albino crocodiles" "in the subway." "Sheriff!" "Shut up!" "Wow!" "That"s a little much for Aroostook County, don"t you think?" "I believe a boy scout should always be prepared." "Especially one from Jersey." "Connor?" "Vica?" "Connor!" "I think the sun is better over here." "Connor?" "Connor, are you here?" "You know, I told you to go straight home." "Connor!" "Mom," "I think I did something bad." "Sweetie, is that blood?" "No, no, no." "What is..." "lt"s not my blood." "It"s..." "I was by the lake..." "In the water." "He"s in the water!" "You coming, Ellie?" "Isn"t it a little cold?" "That"s why we came out here." "Get out into the real world, the way things used to be." "You know, when our ancestors came here, there were no heated pools." "There didn"t have iPods either, but I noticed you brought yours." "Hey, at least you got away from he-who-must-not-be-named." "Yeah, let"s not talk about it, okay?" "I bought a new bikini for this trip, so I have to use it, whether the water is freezing or not." "See, now she"s got the right idea." "Or, I have a better idea." "Why don"t we all just jump in naked?" "That"d be hilarious, right?" "You guys first." "It worked!" "Yeah, I guess the image of you naked really did the trick." "He actually thought we were gonna jump in there naked." "I know." "He is so..." "Obnoxious, right?" "I was gonna say funny." "You"re kidding." "Not like ""l"m gonna sleep with him"" funny, but like, ""l"d set him up with one of my fat friends"" funny." "Like you have any fat friends." "Clarissa put on a ton of weight recently." "Tara!" "What?" "She"s pregnant, not fat." "It"s not all baby." "She"s not giving birth to, like, Andre the freaking Giant." "You"re terrible." "Just being realistic." "That"s a really cute bikini." "Where"d you get that?" "Thanks." "Clarissa"s closet." "Have you heard from Brett?" "No, if I wanted to talk to Brett, I would have called him, so..." "Well, you"re not gonna let him apologize?" "I"m gonna let him stew for a few days, or weeks." "I haven"t decided." "Would you?" "Does he know about you and Aaron?" "What?" "No, there"s nothing to know." "Yeah, and I"m not gonna hook up with the lacrosse team." "Seriously, there"s nothing." "Yeah, right." "Honest." "You ready?" "Yeah, let"s go." "lt"s gonna be cold." "Oh, God." "Oh, my God!" "It"s good though, eh?" "What"s going on?" "I can"t get through to my wife." "I haven"t been able to get through to mine since "86." "Connor, try 911 again." "It won"t go through." "Vica?" "Vica?" "Hold still, honey." "This is gonna hurt even worse." "Connor, find me something to soak up the blood." "Now, now, now." "Well, Susan isn"t gonna believe this." "I mean, ""What did you do today?""" """l hunted a crocodile.""" "You"re all worked up over this, aren"t you?" "Yeah." "Okay." "Here." "I"m sorry." "Okay." "Connor, start talking." "I just wanted a pet." "Sweetie, what was it?" "Mom!" "Hey, Suze, guess what?" "Vica..." "You there?" "We donBt know What..." "Can you hear me?" "Okay, Susan, try to speak a little more slowly" "and calm down." "...at the cabin." "She"s at the cabin." "She"s terrified." "And..." "And I donBt know What..." "Okay." "Hey..." "Come on." "Let"s load the guns." "It"s not that I didn"t wanna let the poor bastard live, it"s just, how many times do you get to shoot a giraffe?" "Hey." "Anyway, the zoo demoted me to the souvenir shop after that." "Can you imagine?" "You"re joking, right?" "You shot an animal in captivity?" "Just further proving that my philosophy is correct." "Hunting"s not fair, so there"s no point in pretending otherwise." "What"s that?" "This is what guarantees you a shot at the big game." "Big game is what you"re after." "Right, Brett?" "Nothing like shooting and eating an animal you"re not supposed to." "Stop the boat." "I usually don"t take orders, but I"ll let that one slide." "What"d you see, college boy, a turtle?" "Quiet." "Okay, that one I"m not gonna let slide." "That"s gonna cost you an extra 20." "What did you see?" "Did you see Vica get bitten?" "No." "Then whose blood is this?" "Teddy"s." "He went too close to the water and I tried calling him and he wouldn"t listen." "Mom?" "Yeah?" "I fed them." "What?" "The meat from our freezer." "And that"s why I stole from the store, because I couldn"t feed them enough." "That"s why they ate Vica"s dog." "Connor, you"ve been coming here, when we told you not to?" "On my bike." "You knew there were dangerous animals in the lake" "and you didn"t tell us?" "You would have made Dad kill them." "Oh, my God." "No, no, sweetie, he would..." "He would never have done that." "He would have moved them and taken them someplace safe." "Is she going to be okay?" "I don"t know, sweetie." "I..." "Try the phone again, please." "Okay." "Okay, Connor, we have to get Vica into the car and get her to the hospital." "Okay?" "Yeah, but what if they come back?" "Doesn"t all this take some of the fun out of it?" "You know what?" "You"re right." "I think that actually, we should track their footprints and sniff the ground to see where they mark their territory." "All right, guys, close enough." "We"ll let your predator instincts take over from here, okay?" "Yep." "All right." "This is the fun part." "Walt!" "Walt!" "Walt!" "No." "No." "Get off of me." "Hurry up." "There"s a crocodile." "Walt!" "Come on, get her here." "No." "Get off of me." "Get off of me." "Walt!" "No, don"t be an idiot." "Now get off!" "Damn it." "That ain"t right." "That ain"t anything close to right." "We need to get the hell out of here." "Yeah?" "To where?" "Hey, you"re the guide, you tell me." "No." "No." "We can"t just leave Walt." "Of course we can." "Something just ripped him to pieces back there." "But I know, let"s all get back in the water." "You grab an arm, you grab a leg" "and I"ll just bring up the rear." "Shut up." "Shut up?" "Shut up?" "Shut up?" "Just calm down." "Relax." "Come on." "You shut up!" "Hey!" "Charlie?" "Hey, man, Tara needs you." "Somebody needs to check her for ticks." "Okay, Charlie." "Enough"s enough." "This isn"t funny anymore." "Get your ass back here." "God." "Which direction did he go?" "Knowing Charlie, he"s probably finding a quiet spot to whack off." "Why did we have to bring him?" "He gives me the creeps." "We shouldn"t have brought either of them." "It would have given us a chance to be alone and get to know each other better." "So, that"s what this is about, huh?" "I thought it was pretty obvious." "You know, the first time I met you, well, you had me after hello." "Look, let"s find Charlie first, okay?" "Then we can talk about what other movie lines you know." "First you said you didn"t like it out here, and then it was too cold, now you wanna waste your time looking for Charlie goofball." "You certainly bitch and moan a lot." "You know, I thought you"d be grateful" "I asked you along, considering the alternative." "You guys?" "Charlie, is that you?" "Mail order piece of crap." "It doesn"t work." "Here, this is for you." "This has got explosive shells in it." "And this, this is a shark stick." "Works like a shotgun, but under water." "One shot from this will take the head right off a great white." "You"re not a tranquilizer dart sort of guy, are you?" "Damn straight." "If we run into this mythical ""crocodile"" of yours, let"s get one thing straight." "I don"t want any of your EPA, endangered species crap." "Are we on the same page?" "Yeah." "God, Charlie." "If you wanna be a Peeping Tom, I"ll save you the trouble." "What the..." "Ellie, Aaron!" "There"s another one of those deer things." "What"s that?" "Where"d it come from?" "I"m not even sure I heard it." "Ellie." "So, what do you think did this?" "I bet it was a shark." "A big shark, a Megalodon." "A megalo-what?" "What the hell have you been smoking?" "That"s Charlie Burman, he"s a college student." "He"s here on a backpacking trip." "He"s friends with this guy I know." "I came out here to find my girlfriend to stop her from doing something stupid." "Yeah, well, it seems like coming out here was already pretty stupid." "Sorry about your friend." "I hated him." "He"s an idiot and a pervert." "Yeah?" "Then I"m sorry he smells so bad." "So, what do we do now?" "In your case, I"d finish high school." "Until then, get back to the lake and find our guns." "They"re back." "Connor, come away from the window." "They can smell you through the glass." "ls that true?" "I don"t know, honey." "Just..." "Connor." "Dad!" "Nathan!" "Susan, stay away from the window!" "The bathroom." "There"s thick walls in the bathroom." "Help me with Vica." "Let them get closer." "Lay down." "Here you go." "Five, four, three..." "Down, honey." "Down." "...two, one." "Honey, it"s fine." "Stay here, okay?" "But, Mom..." "Connor!" "Oh, my God." "Nathan!" "Hey, you okay?" "Where"s Connor?" "Dad!" "Connor!" "Hey, you okay?" "Yeah." "Tony?" "Open up." "I officially owe you an apology." "Great." "Now she"s gone." "Where the hell is she?" "Tara!" "No." "No." "No!" "No!" "She was..." "She was..." "It"s okay." "It"s okay." "Come on." "Come on." "It"s okay." "It"s okay." "Don"t worry." "Don"t worry." "It"s going to be okay." "Could be a gator." "I"m sure she"s fine, this damsel in distress of yours." "This is about another guy." "Yeah." "She goes on a camping trip without you, so you hire a hunting guide to help you stalk her through a state forest." "Totally normal." "For a complete jealous psycho." "What she do, forget her chastity belt at home?" "It"s a little more complicated than that, and it"s not your damn problem." "Not my problem?" "Hey, getting you all back in one piece is my responsibility, and I take it very seriously, thank you very much." "So the least you could do is drop your ""l got a stick up my college educated butt"" attitude." "Yes, she came with another guy." "Damn, I"m good." "Hey, now guess what I found." "Now, before we all got unceremoniously jacked from my boat, we were following a tracking signal from an elk." "Now that elk, it seems, is actually passing through the digestive tract of our gator friend." "I"m sorry to put it this way, but predators go to where their food is." "So whatever killed smelly over there knows where your girlfriend is." "Now, all we have to do is follow him." "Okay?" "Come on, baby." "Come on, talk to Mama." "Yes." "We could go to that guy"s cabin across the lake, try to find some help." "Relax." "That guy who works for the state, he"d know who to call." "We don"t need any help, I can handle this." "Isn"t this what you wanted?" "A bit of time away from the world?" "I wanted to forget about Brett for a few days." "Not get lost in the land of the lost." "Hell, at least if Brett was here, he wouldn"t give up on finding his friends." "Well, you seem to have forgotten about him all right." "Look, I"m just trying to help." "That"s all." "Seriously?" "My best friend is missing." "We need to get help." "Nothing bigger than a trout?" "I"d say that thing"s a little bigger than a goddamn trout!" "I know this is just a job for you, but everyone I have left is in this room, and they"re in danger because I trusted you." "It"s gotta be 25 feet long." "I screwed up." "Is that what you wanna hear?" "I"m sorry." "The big one, I have no idea." "It could have been dropped from the sky." "Yeah, dropped from..." "The elk." "Three years ago, the EPA re-introduced elk just down the river." "Predators move towards their food." "It is possible that it didn"t show up on your sonar because it wasn"t in the lake." "Question is, why"d they come back here?" "I don"t..." "I mean, did the big one follow the elk into the area?" "I don"t know." "It"s an answer for the big one, but the smaller ones, they"ve been here for months." "Talk to your son." "Hey, I"m gonna go check and see what kind of shampoo you use." "You knew about them?" "Come here." "Come here." "Is this where you"ve been going on your bike every day?" "You know, they almost killed Vica?" "You know they can kill you?" "Never hurt me." "Listen!" "They"re not your friends." "They"re wild animals." "And wild animals live by a set of rules to ensure their survival." "One of the rules is that they eat anything smaller than they are." "Do you understand that?" "They"re not your friends." "It was just something cool to play with." "Both of you left me alone." "You care more about your stupid elk than me, and Mom"s always working." "You know, I thought it was a rule of nature that parents took care of their kids." "My mistake." "Hey." "So, still think we can get a good price for this place?" "It"s a fixer-upper, real curb-appeal, pets included." "Yeah." "And I, for one, am ready to say goodbye to lake-side living forever." "Sweets, I think we should make a break for it." "I don"t think Vica"s gonna make it if we wait and we still have a couple hours of daylight left." "Yeah, but she can"t walk." "We can carry her." "I know you"re scared." "But with Willinger covering us, we should be able to make it." "Okay." "You sure?" "We"re gonna have to get the car close if we"re gonna get everyone inside." "All right." "Okay." "Connor, take care of your mother." "Okay?" "Okay." "Okay." "Looks like we"re actually gonna do this thing." "I love you." "lf something happens..." "lt won"t." "But if it does, I"ll keep Connor safe, okay?" "Well, I was gonna say, ""Come save us.""" "Let"s do this." "Come on, come on." "Come on, come on." "Go." "Let"s go!" "l"m trying!" "That one"s new!" "Mom, Mom, what are you doing?" "Connor, stay here." "I mean it." "Mom, you have to press the red button." "What?" "How do you know that stuff?" "lt"s always the red button." "Mom!" "Susan, get back in the house." "Susan!" "Mom!" "Hey!" "Get away from her." "Come on." "No, no, no, no, no." "Susan, get to the cabin!" "Go now!" "Go!" "It"s locked!" "Vica!" "Vica, open the door." "Vica!" "Vica!" "Open the door!" "Go, go." "Back there." "I wanna help!" "Now, Connor!" "Vica!" "Vica!" "He"s coming through." "You got us turned around." "I don"t even know which way camp was." "I heard a noise towards this way." "You heard gunshots." "Do we really wanna go towards gunshots?" "We wanna go towards..." "Oh, my God!" "Oh, my God." "We need to get the hell away from here." "Now!" "Tara!" "Who the hell cares about Tara?" "Get up." "Don"t cry." "Come on." "I can"t." "I can"t." "l"m not gonna say it again." "Get up, damn it." "Stop being a little bitch and get up." "Look, I"m going this way with or without you." "Look, it"s Brett"s jacket." "Brett"s jacket." "What, are you crazy?" "I don"t know what the hell is going on here, but we need to leave." "I think he"s looking for me." "You can"t be serious." "You think Brett gives a rat"s ass about you?" "You think he cares enough about you to get his shoes dirty?" "If that were true, you wouldn"t be here with me in the first place." "He"s cheating on you, Ellie, and everybody at school knows it but you." "No, no, no, no." "Maybe he heard the gunshots." "Or maybe, maybe he fired them." "Why do you put him on such a pedestal?" "He doesn"t give a rat"s ass about you, he told me so himself." "He"s not out looking for you." "He"s back at school, probably in some freshman"s dorm room right now." "We got a camp a few miles away from here." "We find the camp and we can find our way home." "No, no." "We"ve been turned around for an hour now." "The only way we know is towards the gunshots." "Make your choice." "Let someone who really cares about you save you, or you can go crying to Brett like usual." "No." "Please, please don"t leave me." "You go in that direction and you"re walking alone." "Please come with me." "Aaron!" "Aaron." "This is actually the most fun I"ve had in quite a while." "Some fun." "I can"t tell if I"m excited, or if I"m going to throw up in my mouth from the terror." "Just in case it"s the latter." "All right." "We don"t even know what the hell this thing is yet, and I"m already picking out a spot on my wall for its head." "You know what?" "Maybe it"s mutating and has two heads." "If that happens to be the case, I get them both." "If there"s three heads, you can have one." "Guys, I can hear you." "My girlfriend?" "You know, if he wants one of the heads, I"m not giving him one of mine." "He can"t have mine neither." "I didn"t come out here to fight wild animals." "Hey, hey, you know what?" "Look, we can"t find your girlfriend if we"re all gator crap." "Last chance, Brett." "You gonna tell us why you"re stalking your own girlfriend?" "Wait a minute." "If this is about a restraining order, there are ways around that." "Believe me, I know." "She"s being lied to, about me." "There"s this guy, Aaron." "He"s a grad student." "He was tutoring her for a while." "He told her there was another girl and he used that opportunity to get between us." "And now, he takes her with him on this trip and you can only guess what he"s hoping to do with her." "I love it out here." "Where"s Dr. Phil when you need him?" "Who"s Dr. Phil?" "It"s not her." "Oh, my God." "It"s Tara." "Brett, get back." "lt"s her best friend." "She must be close." "We gotta find her." "Ellie!" "Can you hear me?" "Shut up." "Well, that"s one way to bring them closer." "Can you hear me?" "Shut up!" "Jonas, you ready for this?" "Try not to mess up its head." "Heads." "Ellie!" "Man, that"s gotta be the hottest thing I"ve ever seen." "Shit." "He"s awake." "All right, get Connor ready to run." "Right." "Need a bigger gun." "Definitely need a bigger gun." "Wait!" "Stop!" "What was I thinking?" "Give me that." "I"m afraid that I have to ban you from ever participating in one of my hunting expeditions, ever again." "Something in the contract about not blowing holes in the guide." "No complaints from me." "That bastard ruined my pants and he stole my knife." "Well, you stabbed him in the face." "Yeah, I know." "And I would have carved my name in his hide had it not got stuck in his head." "As for your bellyaching, it"s not the first time I"ve been shot by someone I know." "God!" "It is the first time I"ve been hit." "I"m afraid I"m not going to be able to walk out of here." "The boat." "The boat?" "Yeah." "Getting in the water sounds like a fine idea to me, college boy." "Well, unless you can think of another way." "Actually, no, I can"t." "No way to keep our orientation with the sun going down." "When we get in the boat, where do we go?" "Only one place to go." "There"s a cabin on the other side of the lake." "I"m having a bit of a misunderstanding with the owner, so if anybody"s there when we get there, just keep the elk poaching on the down low." "I"m the one with the injured leg, Rambo, okay?" "Let"s go." "What about Ellie?" "We can"t..." "We can"t go looking for her now." "We wouldn"t know where to look." "You think she"s dead, don"t you?" "I didn"t say that." "Look, I can"t know for sure, but we wouldn"t do her any good if we get ourselves killed, would we?" "Those were crocodiles." "I"ve read enough about crocodiles to know they don"t stop killing food just because they"re full." "They also don"t travel very far if they don"t have to." "She"s nearby." "Whatever you do, do not start screaming like you did the last time." "She"s my girlfriend!" "If you had any kind of normal relationships, you"d understand." "Normal?" "Jonas and I chase after a killer crocodile for you, practically playing 20 questions trying to figure out what would drive you to follow Ellie in here to begin with." "And may I point out that we didn"t even know the damsel"s name until you start screaming it at the top of your lungs, attracting that monster that came out of the woods and bit off Jonas" head." "And how the hell do you know I don"t have any normal relationships, huh?" "I know all about you." "All about your boo-hooing about Miss Ellie, but did you ask me one question, one question about me and my life?" "Okay!" "Do you have a boyfriend?" "No." "No, I don"t have a boyfriend, dumbass." "That was hypothetical." "Now that you know all about me, let"s get in the boat and go someplace safe." "No, I won"t." "Really?" "Not without Ellie." "Fine, we"ll see how you like being dragged." "Johnny Law." "Nathan, actually." "I would have introduced myself last time, but when I asked for your hunter"s license you spit tobacco juice on my shoes." "Yeah?" "I"m a shy girl." "You know, you got a bit of an infestation of a very unusual variety out there." "Yeah, it looks like they got you pretty bad." "There were four of us." "And the other two didn"t fare as well." "But the crocs didn"t shoot me." "That one did." "I already said I was sorry." "Thanks for taking us in, but we need to get back out there." "l"m Brett, by the way." "Nathan." "Hey." "Susan." "This is Connor." "Why would you wanna go back outside?" "Are you crazy?" "Because my girlfriend"s out there on the lake." "We were looking for her when Reba decided to come here instead." "It"s better off behind a closed door than running around in the dark." "Exactly why we need to get back on the boat and find Ellie." "We"ve been trapped in here for hours and there"s the very real possibility that help isn"t coming." "Now, we can"t let you take our only means of transportation and go and get yourself killed." "Especially when that only means of transportation belongs to me." "We get back in the boat." "We find Ellie, and then we get the hell away from here." "Ellie"s on the lake." "Now we need to get to safety." "That"s connecting to the river and going down to town." "Those are opposite directions." "No!" "This isn"t up for debate." "We"re not leaving her." "We don"t even know where she is." "Now my wife and my son are right here and I can"t risk their lives based on the chance or the possibility that she might be out there." "Sensible conversation didn"t get me very far with her." "I"m sorry to have to do this." "I already shot someone today." "I don"t mind doing it again." "Get away from the door." "Now"s a fine time to grow yourself a pair." "I will come back for you, promise." "Just as soon as I find her." "Ellie!" "Ellie!" "Brett?" "Ellie!" "Ellie!" "Brett!" "Ellie!" "Brett!" "Be back sooner than I thought." "Brett!" "Brett!" "I"m coming back!" "Brett, I"m here!" "Ellie!" "I"m here, baby." "I"m here." "I knew." "I knew." "Brett!" "Connor, get in the bathroom and lock the door." "Go!" "Brett!" "No, no." "Oh, my God." "I knew." "I knew." "Move away from the water!" "What?" "Get away from the water!" "Get away from the water!" "Ellie!" "Oh, my God!" "What is that?" "l"m so sorry." "Hey..." "Hey, hey." "No." "You don"t need to apologize." "l"m sorry for going with him." "With Aaron." "Don"t apologize." "Don"t." "No." "No, don"t apologize." "I love you." "I love you." "I love you." "Ellie, go." "Go now." "Go!" "Run!" "Now!" "Oh, my God." "What is..." "What is that?" "Oh, my God!" "Nicely done." "Let"s get the hell out of here, now." "That"s okay." "I can always come back for the head later." "Connor, stay close." "Hey, hey, hey, hey." "Help me." "It killed..." "It killed him." "Who?" "Who?" "Brett?" "Brett." "Get us in the boat, now!" "Right." "Go!" "Go!" "Connor, come." "You okay?" "Yeah." "Keep trying." "Okay, plan B." "Here we go." "Yeah, I think we"re safe." "What is that?" "Go." "Go." "Go." "Come on." "Go." "Got her?" "Hello!" "Hello!" "Come on!" "Over there." "What makes you think Dimitri"s not gonna have locked his doors?" "What now?" "After you." "Okay, let"s put her down." "l"ll call for help." "All right." "Does anybody have a quarter?" "No." "No." "lt"s 91 1, you don"t need any money." "Okay, okay." "No, no, no, no, no." "It"s going to be okay." "We"re gonna get out of here." "What about Connor?" "This is all my fault." "I should have been there for him." "This is my fault." "It"s you." "Little Bickerman!" "Don"t you..." "Oh, my God!" "Run." "Go, go, go!" "Help!" "Help!" "Help!" "Help!" "Help!" "Help!" "Connor!" "Susan!" "Backdoor"s open." "Go!" "No keys." "Don"t you know how to hot-wire?" "l"m a zoologist." "Connor!" "Connor?" "Keys." "This is the one and only time you"re allowed to steal something." "Connor." "Go." "Are we 07 or 08?" "07!" "Connor!" "Dad!" "Lighter!" "Nate!" "Nate!" "No." "Dad!" "I would like to present to you today an absolutely extraordinary case, and proof that we are not in control." "We"re not in control of our jobs, we"re not in control of our children and we are certainly not in control of this planet." "There are no hard and fast rules in nature." "There"s no way to create a system by which we can catalog and analyze and predict where an animal is gonna go" "or what an animal is gonna do." "Having said all that, I would like to now regale you with the story of a most unique species, the Maine River Crocodile." "For the record, it"s extinct." "Come along." "So, did you guys have time to read the pamphlets?" "Anyone?" "THE END"