"Dear Maurice, my love, what is the weather in Germany?" "Dear Fernando, today I miss you very much already." "I would like to spend the rest of my life in Thailand with you." " I wait for you to come." "We can also live in England." " We have holiday together." "Since I met you, my life has meaning." "I wake up in tears." "He wasn't even very special." "He was just a nice young man from Lüneburg." "A very small town somewhere in Germany." "Felix!" "You've got the passports, right?" "Have you got yours?" "Yes." "Knock it off!" "Don't they drive on the left in Thailand?" "I read it somewhere." "I'm terribly sorry." "Because your booking was so last-minute it wasn't checked." "I'm sorry this hotel isn't the standard you booked." "But it's only for tonight." "Thank you." "Why didn't you just stay home?" "I wanted to." "Nice day for the beach, huh?" "It'll be over in a sec." "This is the dry season." "The dry season?" " Uh-uh." "Yeah." "Check this out." "This is interesting." "In Thailand, politeness is often more important than truth." "In a conflict situation, you should smile, then calmly explain your position." "So you don't lose face." "Not at all like us." "Good morning!" "You'll be staying in a marvelous hotel." "The Asian Resort Wellness is a real dream." " Great!" "Unfortunately not until the day after the day after the day after tomorrow." "But we already paid for ten days in a 4-star hotel." "And we spent 7 hours in your office yesterday." "And now you're telling us this?" "You must be kidding!" "This isn't Thailand." "This is a nightmare." "When in doubt, smile first, so you don't lose face." "To thank you for your understanding," "I've brought you valuable activity vouchers." "I've also registered you for the Christmas dinner here at the hotel." "Thank you." "And Merry Christmas!" "Cool!" "Bungee jumping, go-carts, scuba diving, some cabaret." "Super!" "You look terrific." " I want to see!" "Or with Felix, too." "Get over here!" "Now everyone together." "Can we go now?" "Look:" "In Thailand traditionally there are 3 genders." "They have 3 genders here:" "men, women and Kathoey or Ladyboy." "Although it's part of the Thai heritage and culture, this 3rd gender is not officially acknowledged." "That would contradict the image of a modern, western-oriented Thailand." "Interesting, huh?" "Those can't be real men." "I don't believe it." "I see, women acting like men acting like women?" "But they look amazing." "This is dreadful." "Let's get out of here." "We wanna pay." "We're staying." "Okay." "Till 12:30?" "He's of age." "It's pretty wild here, huh?" "200 baht." "Can you wait one second?" " Yes." "You've got the Thai money, Tommy." " You're into it after all?" "See my stamp collection?" "I have a very beautiful Blue Mauritius." "Tattooed on my thingy-dingy." "Am I so low... that a bar girl won't talk to me, huh?" "Go!" "You go!" "She's no bar girl." "She's my cousin." "Go!" "Go!" "I'm so sorry." "Thank you." "A screwdriver, please." "You want to go to the beach tomorrow?" "To the beach?" "Okay." "I'm gonna drown these Russians in the sea." "You can't even swim." "And what's your girlfriend Rebecca up to?" "Nothing." "What'd she write?" "Not much." "I'm heading to the beach." "If anyone's interested." "Can you help me?" "Yeah, okay." "Thank you." "Thank you." "I don't want to look like a rice farmer from Isan." "Isan?" " Northeast Thailand." "Where are you from?" "Isan." " Isan?" "Yes." "You have wonderful white skin." "No." "You are very pretty." "Don't you think I'm ugly?" "Not at all." "Thank you." "This one... a little spicy." "Sorry, is this meat?" " No." "Great because I'm vegetarian." "No animals." "I eat no animals." "Does your religion forbid you to eat meat?" "My religion probably says:" "Eat the whole planet and throw the rest in the garbage." "My mother say it's okay to eat an animal if it died in an accident." "In an accident?" " Yes." "A little spicy." "Spicy." "Are you okay?" "If you have a girlfriend... do you make love with other women?" "Depends on how many boyfriends she has." "Should we have spent Christmas at home, Felix?" "Next autumn, you'll be in Hamburg." "I'm not going to Hamburg." " Where then?" "Not Hamburg." "It depends a bit on your major." "There are some great people with me in law school." "I'll join the army and get shot." "Merry Christmas!" " Thank you." "Merry Christmas!" "Merry Christmas!" "Merry Christmas!" " Take a picture." "Bloody stupid!" "Real disaster tourism." "Oh, man!" "Now everyone." "And..." "Please." "Finished?" " Yes." "Thank you." "Did you have a nice afternoon at the beach with the Thai girl?" "Don't I satisfy you anymore?" " It's not at all about you." "I'm not talking about me." "I'm talking about the notion of mankind you're imparting upon your sons." "Women are for sale." "To be fucked ASAP." "On the spot." "Preferably overseas." "'cause they're cheaper." "Besides, you might have a woman waiting for you back home." "I only asked him if he had a nice afternoon." "Did you down the whole bottle?" "Know what you're like?" "Like some dimwitted electrician, who orders his wife online." "You're pathetic." "Forget it." "Me, too." "Okay, ciao." "Hello, handsome guy." "Buy lantern for tsunami?" "Only 80 baht." "So beautiful." "Help my family." "I buy one." "Okay." "Thank you." "Fai, I think you've found yourself a new boyfriend." "Don't be stupid." "Shut up." "After tsunami, many ghosts in here." "People died too much and quickly." "And their spirit got lost." "Lantern help to find a way to the other side." "We do this every year." "Do this every year?" " For the spirits." "Wanna go for a beer?" "I go back, work." "Beer?" "Kob khun kah." " Kob khun kah." "Again." " Kob khun kah." "Kob khun kah is for a woman." "Kob khun krap is for a man." "Kob khun krap." " Yes." "Do you want to go to the beach tomorrow?" "The beach?" "Yeah." " I'm sorry." "I cried today." "I don't know." "It's not..." "Now I feel inside same as outside." "I don't know what I expected." "But I think... nobody feels the same inside as outside." "I feel like Ryan Gosling inside." "Wanna toothpick?" "What's wrong?" "You make funny of me?" " No, I'm not." "Yes, you make funny of me." " No, I'm..." "It's from a movie." "Forget about it." "You are funny man." " I'm no funny man." "I'm not a funny man." "What's this?" "You're a funny girl." "Is this real?" " Please." "Is it from China?" "It's for the future." "Future?" "Not China, it's from the future." "You want to see my pictures?" "Yeah." "This is my family house." "My cousin Kip." "You see her in the bar." "My grandmother." "She's very strong." "Like you." "My mother." "She sent me here for holiday." "She said:" "I need fresh air for my head." "For your head?" " Yes." "Are you crazy?" " Just maybe." "A little?" " Yes." "Look:" "This is my older brother Gung." "He killed a snake in my garden." "I don't like snake." "No, not in the garden." "Okay, we going?" "How much money?" " 100." "Kob khun krap." " Yes." "The first time I saw a foreigner I cried." "You cried?" " Yes." "Why?" "I was small." "I thought he was a ghost." "Yes." "Farang look a bit like ghost." "And a little bit the same." "What's a falang?" "Ah, farang?" "You farang!" "And you?" " No." "I'm Thai." "Farang is foreigner." "Is it like muggle?" " Yes." "Are we alone?" " Yes." "You're so beautiful." "No." "I'm ugly." "And you're very pretty." "No." "I'm ugly and you pretty." "You're incredibly ugly." "This or dark?" "Dark." "Pretty girl." "Before, my breast were very small." "My family helped me to pay for them." "Nice family." " Yes." "I've gotta go." "Okay." "What?" " No!" "What is this?" " Don't read that." "It's silly." "It's Kip's book." " Kip's book?" "Yeah." "I wanna see." "Honey, darling." "I'd like to tell you some good news for us." "I went to see the doctor this morning, because I haven't had my period in two months." "He checked my urine and said to me that I was pregnant." "Are you happy?" "This is to learn English?" "Yes." "Kip has a boyfriend in Italy." "He visit her every year." "Darling." "You said if I were pregnant... you would bring me to give birth in your country, and look after the baby." "My parents allow me to live with you." "Always loving you, XXX." "Will I get a letter like this from you?" "No." "I cannot have a baby." "Dear Fai, from now on, if you're sweet, I'll be sweeter." "If you're peanut butter, I'll be jam." "If you're pepper, I'll be your salt." "Your Felix." "Your salty Felix." "In Buddhism, living means suffering." "Suffering?" " That's part of it." "We think we're entitled to everything:" "Happiness, love, success, a great career, leisure, great sex." "Then we feel betrayed when we don't get everything." "But maybe we expect too much." "YOU expect too much." "Where's Felix?" "Awesome!" "You've gotta try it." "Your mask." " Oh, yeah." "Felix." "Do you think love and making love are the same?" "Because... sometimes..." "I don't know." "Thank you." "When did he say he'd be back?" "How should I know?" " Don't you care?" "And don't you care that he has a girlfriend back home?" "Oh, you want to forbid it?" "I can see why he likes these Thai girls." " Oh, can you?" "Enough of your feminist ranting!" "Oh, get off it!" "Two beers please." "So... you like her?" "Sorry." "Should I have a talk with Felix?" "Or her." "She's not bad either." "How much?" "My husband is interested." "One night with wife and husband." "3000 baht." "With husband and wife... it's nice." "I will make you really happy." "No, thank you." "I don't want to be happy." "Or would you like to be happy?" "No." "I already am." "With you." "She really got a boob job?" "I should've kept my mouth shut." "You can't even tell." "It's still pretty chavvy." "I think she was kind of depressed." "About what?" "'cause she can't have kids maybe." "I don't know." "7 o'clock tomorrow morning." " Yep." "Hey!" "Are you outta your minds?" "Do you know what you get for this over here?" "Hand it over." "Come on." "Seriously." "Really!" "Or 'cause of her small tits." "Cause you don't know what you DON'T get." "So how can you decide?" "Like... realistically?" "Only by knowing what you're getting and what you're not getting." "You know?" "But if I decide between law school and German lit..." "I won't know what I don't get." "Sure you do." "Law or German lit." "Sure." "Of course." "I mean as a matter of principle." "You're not talking about women now?" " No!" "About everything." "It's all related somehow." "I don't like the boys' smoking pot." "No." "She looks like Barbie." ""She"?" "Oh, yeah." "What does she want from Felix?" "He's a nice young man." "Normally her type wouldn't give a rat's ass about someone like him." "She really had a boob job?" " Oh, God, I should've kept my mouth shut." "What else did he say?" " Nothing." "Fai's visiting." "Kip from the bar is her cousin." "Are they careful about... venereal diseases and stuff?" "How should I know?" "Right." "What are they doing today?" "Papa, you're getting on my nerves!" "It'll be over soon, Mama." " It's okay, breathe." "Everyone can get seasick." "But I've never had this before." "Drink some water." " Thank you." "I'm getting old." "Actually, I love the sea." "Ah, I see." "You feed the fish." "The usual beer?" " Yes." "Nice and cold." "One water, please." "Is Fai here?" "No, she's not here." "How's your cousin?" "Better." "She's having an affair with some little foreigner." "At the beach?" " I'm sorry." "I don't know." "I thought she might hurt herself after her boyfriend left her." "Does she also work here?" "No." "She doesn't work here." "She's a lovely girl." " Ah, yes." "Been doing a bit of shopping therapy, have we?" "Yeah." "This place just used to be a quiet little fishing village." "30 years ago, you couldn't buy a packet of cheese around here." "Just look around." "A lot of these lads here... can't go home." "Stranded here somehow." "One of my mates got killed by his Thai girl." "Poisoned him, they reckon." "Now she's got the house, two cars, a nightclub." "Look at them:" "Rotting away in Thai friggin' paradise." "Seriously, they're going mouldy." "Everything goes mouldy in this climate." "But if you hate it so much, why do you live here?" "Oh, no." "I love it." "This is my home." "Can I pay, please?" "If I learn Thai, we could stay here." "Or in Bangkok." " Bangkok?" "Bangkok has bad air and bad people." "So where do you want to live?" "Home." "Nong Khai." "Look who showed up." "Hi!" "Be right there." " Okay." "I'll call you later." " Okay." "I had a very nice day." "Yes." "Come in." "I know, you're waiting." "The mosquitos will get in." "Listen:" "We've decided to help her." "What?" " So she'll have a better life." "Why?" " Felix, I've got a weird feeling." "So?" " These girls depend on such work." "You know what kind of life that is?" "Some get abused, become drug addicts." "They might get infections... and become infertile." "Really." "That swine!" "Infertility can be a real issue." "Why do you think she has those fake boobs?" "Tommy spills the beans and you don't even fess up!" "Sooner or later, you've got to put two and two together." "Is the light finally going on?" "The airport bus isn't till 11:30, right?" "She comes from the poorest part of Thailand." "Sure you come back?" "What if you don't?" "Sure I come back." "I'm gonna miss your ears, your nose," "the white in your eyes." "And all the other molecules of your body." "I miss you, too." "What?" " I miss you, too." "Don't cry." " I'm sorry." "Don't cry." "Gorgeous, isn't it?" "Alpenrose wasn't bad either." "Huh, Felix?" "What's wrong?" "None of your business." "Felix..." "I know exactly how you feel." "Is Rebecca meeting you at the airport?" "I'm gonna go say goodbye." "Give her our regards!" "Give her our regards!" " Knock it off!" "You'd love to cast him in resin so he'd stop growing." "I'm gonna have a fit." "You wanted to come here." "There are people here." "Next holiday we'll go to the Gobi Desert." "You never want to go anywhere." "Yeah?" "Yes, I'll come straight to the airport." "By taxi." "The driver'll know where the airport is." "Yes, now." "When else?" "Bye." "Please... have a safe trip to Germany." "Oh no, no, no." "I have to go." "Forget it, dude." "Tell her yourself." "It's for you." "Hello?" " I'll be home next week." "What do you mean next week?" "Felix, get your butt over here!" "Even if I wanted to, I couldn't get there in 15 minutes." "Maybe I don't want to." "I'll come later." "Mama?" "I've got to follow my heart." " Your heart?" "Yeah, heart." " Got any other organs you follow?" "Maybe your brain?" "You always said, man sees best with his heart." ""The Little Prince"." "You're right, Mama." " I..." "leave..." "I'll just come later." " Felix..." "Hung up!" "So he'll come next week." " Are you nuts?" "We can't leave him here alone!" "He's got to learn responsibility." "I've got a building inspection in Dresden in two days." "Quit mothering him!" " But I AM his mother!" "Don't make it worse than it already is." "He doesn't even have a toothbrush." "Oh, Mama's little baby." "Can't get himself a toothbrush in Thailand." "He might get a cavity here." "What's she doing?" "Water the flowers and feed the turtle, okay?" "Oh, man!" "I'm sorry." "Hi, Rebecca." "It's me." "I woke you, didn't I?" "Sorry." "Listen..." "I think I want to break up." "For no reason in particular." "I know, bad timing." "I get it." "Okay." "Hello, Felix." "Hello, Kip!" "You miss airplane?" "Yes." "No." "Is Fai inside?" " No." "No." "She go back home now." "Half hour ago, she go bus station." "But why?" "Holiday is over." "Bus station!" "I almost missed you." "Hello, Felix." "Felix, this bus is leaving." "That's what buses sometimes do." "I have no toothbrush." "No nothing." "I finished with my girlfriend and..." "my mother." "Do you know this book The Little Prince?" "What's your girlfriend?" "I thought we have only 10 days and I didn't want to ruin our holiday." "You know, I will stay so it's important to be honest." "I'm sorry." "But I'm honest." "And?" "Her name's Rebecca." "She's a strange person... just way too much." "Yeah, but she's pretty." "But that's Rebecca." "She's not..." "I stay." " You will stay?" "Yeah." "I mean I cannot stay forever." "I have to go back." "Finish school, then come back and find a job." "We could look for a small flat or something." "I start learning Thai if you teach me." "We can live together." "Honestly, we cannot plan much longer than that." "Yeah, we'll see." " Honestly?" "Yeah." "A real relationship cannot be based on lies." "I want to be honest, and... we want to be honest." "Shall I keep it?" " Yes." "It says you're born in 2533." "You're from the future." "That is Buddhist calendar." "It says you're a 'Mister'." "Yes." "You're male." " Yes." "Yes?" "Yes." "No." " Yes." "Fuck!" "Thank you for telling me so soon." "Excuse me." " Yes." "Could I talk to you for a second?" " Ah, yeah." "Thank you." "I'm looking for my son." "I don't know." " You don't know where he is?" "Do you know where your cousin is?" "Fai?" "She go back Nong Khai." "Could you just give me her phone number, please?" "She change her number." "Yesterday she throw her SIM card in the ocean." "What?" "She threw her phonecard in the ocean?" "And why?" " I don't know." "Do you know where my son is looking for her?" "She go back Nong Khai." "Could I just quickly write down the address, please?" "Oh, that's nice." "Thank you." "482..." " What?" "Thannon Mithapaap Udorn." "Mithapaap Udorn." "Mithapaap Udorn." "Tambon Nong Kom Ko." "Tambon Nong Kom Ko." " Sorry, slower!" "Tambon Nong Kom Ko." "Could you just please write it down?" "Sorry." "English letter cannot." "Kip, why don't you write it in Thai?" "The taxi drivers can't read English." "Yes, I forgot." " Okay." "She'll write the address in Thai." "And you can show that to the taxi up there." "How much?" "Taxi to go here." " Taxi?" "No." "Go Nong Khai same go Laos." " Laos?" "Yeah." "You take bus." "Next bus tomorrow." "Tonight have bus, too." "But is no good." "This Thailand." "This Laos, this China." "Nong Khai here." "Same Laos." "We are here." " What?" "We are here." "You take bus one day, one night." "You arrive Nong Khai." "And China?" " China." "Laos." "If you wanna go to Isan, just hop on a plane." "I just got off a plane." "I mean, I didn't even get on." "Yeah, I know everything." "They're not going to reimburse me." "I know it's expensive, of course." "They call it 'no-show'." "I know." "You're a complicated lot, you women, aren't you?" "What does that have to do with being a woman?" "Are tickets for complicated women more expensive than tickets for idiots?" "Probably not." "But come to think of it, maybe." "Look:" "You wanna go to Isan, save yourself a 20 hour bus ride." "Get an online ticket." "Siam Skyways. 50 bucks." "I'll write it down." "Siam Skyway." "Morning flight leaves around 11 o'clock." "Internet shop next door." "Great." "Thank you." "Good luck." "Excuse me." "Have you got a cigarette?" " Yeah, sure." "Thank you." "Have a safe trip back home tomorrow." "Okay?" "My plane just landed in Hamburg." "Really?" "I was going to have a drink." "It's Long Island Iced Tea, right?" " Yeah." "You want another one?" " I already had one." "Come on." "Don't let me drink alone, okay?" "Do you want some?" "This is gonna take forever, guys." "Why did you lie to me?" "I did not lie." "So it's my fault?" "I did not ask:" "Are you a woman?" "I am a woman." "You just cut..." "Do you think I am what I am to disappoint you?" "I'm not a homosexual." "I am not homosexual, too." "Understand?" "Are there sharks in the sea here?" "Yeah, sure there is sharks." "What we have?" "We have... leopard sharks, blacktips, whitetips." "We have some grey reef sharks." "Also my favourites:" "little bamboo sharks." "They are easy to recognize because they have a little moustache." "So, you are also with a..." "Thai lady?" "No." "They are not my cup of tea." "I thought every single man in the world loves these... beautiful women that seem to smile all day." "Men all over the world get categorized into one big category." "Can you please stop this shit right now?" "Stop it please." "Can you please stop the music!" "Stop the music." "I cannot hear!" "Thank you." "What?" "Love hurts like dengue." "What is a dengle?" "Dengue fever." "It's like malaria." "But you don't die." "No dengue in Germany?" "No." "Sorry to interrupt." "I appreciate you getting that abominable music off." "But seriously, you should just give each other a hug." "You're obviously dying to." "This is none of your business." "Okay." "Then you just keep on doing what you seem to enjoy best." "You fucking Americans think you know everything." "But you don't know anything about anything." "Don't hold me responsible for the U.S. government." "I'm all for world peace." "Part of my karmic journey is to reconciliate, and spread love and understanding." "The Hindu mother goddess Parvati is guiding me." "May I pray for you?" " No." "No, thank you." "Good morning." "You were so full of desire yesterday." "You want to do it again?" "What am I doing here?" "In bed with a diving instructor." "You know, I wasn't planning this either." "You weren't?" " No." "You are not going to leave like a thief?" "Like a what?" "Like a thief." "Can I get a kiss?" "The flight is delayed." "I wanna go shopping." "Just give me some money and stop complaining." "I give you money." " Quick, quick, quick." "This is better." "I love you." "I love you, too, my love." "Welcome to Isan." "Many people in here are rice farmer." "Many people are poor." "Is your family poor?" " No." "My grandmother is Chinese." "Her father came from Canton." "He made money with the Americans during the war." "Which war?" "Vietnam." "Now my grandmother hates both:" "Americans and Communists." "Communism finished 20 years ago." "Thank you." "Thank you." "I'm sorry." "Which house here?" "This address?" "That house there." "Here?" "Excuse me." "Excuse me." "I'm looking for my son, Felix." "He come here with Fai." "Fai?" "She lives here." "Fai." "Fai's on holiday." "She'll be back tomorrow." "English?" "Dear lady," "I speak 5 languages:" "Hokkien, Cantonese, Laotian," "Central Thai, Isan." "I'm almost 70." "Do I really need to learn another one?" "Thank you." "Soup?" " What would you like?" "Right." "These noodles please." "Some of this?" " No, just these." "Hello." "No." "No, he hasn't." "He's not answering his cell phone either." "50 baht?" "I don't give a damn about the frigging roaming costs!" "When you... no." "If it costs 5 Euros/minute to have a serious conversation with you, then this will have to cost 300 Euros." "It's so hot here." "Sure, Thailand was a dumb idea." "What else?" "Christmas at home and New Year's Eve with 'Dinner for One'?" "Like last year and the year before." "Felix..." "My family is very respected here." "And this is a small town." "Many people are very old-fashioned." "Maybe you could stay in a nice hotel." "I will ask my family if you can come for dinner." "Hi, Coco." "What's up?" "Grandma, I'm back." "You're back already." "How's everything?" "Why do all of you come through the back door?" "It's easier." "You look so happy." "I've got good news for you." " What?" "Your boyfriend called." "He wants you to call him." "I don't want to talk to this asshole." " How can you call him that?" "You haven't even talked to him." " I don't want to." "You should've gotten brain surgery." "It would've been better." "I don't want to talk about it." "I'm tired." "A-ha." "A-ha." "So I can't say anything, huh?" "Whatever I say, you take off upstairs." "And you want to waste two years at university... for a man?" "Thank you." "Excuse me." "Can I use your toilet?" "Toilette?" "Bathroom?" "Toilet?" "I must 'pshuuuu' here." "Oh, toilet." "No problem." "Please!" "What are you staring at?" "Foreigners are people, too." "Why are you sitting around anyway?" "Are you a missionary?" "You don't look Mormon." "Most foreigners around here are missionaries." "Thank you for toilet." "Thanks." "I have a question." "One moment... you..." "You know him?" "This photo a bit old." "But he not changed." "He's cute." "Looks like ten." " Yes, probably." "That's my address!" "Where'd you get this?" "If... you... see him..." "Where'd you get this?" "You call me." "Good?" "I give you my number." "Okay?" "Here, my number." "You call me if you see him." "You call me." "Good?" "Thank you." "Hey, that's mine!" " No..." "I still need this." "Goodbye!" "Thank you." "You want to see my town?" "Let's go and see your town." "My family will like you very much." "And my grandmother will have nothing to complain about." "Maybe you want to learn wai?" "It's easy." "You want to show respect to your family, teacher and older people, you wai first." "It's only difficult when someone is young but high, low but old." "But when you understand what is more important:" "Age or position?" "It's easy." "I'm so happy when I feel you inside." "Thank you." "Anything for your family." "Will it be done by 4 p.m.?" "Certainly." "Thanks!" "Thanks!" "Yes!" "That's wai." " It's not so difficult." "I want to fly tomorrow, the day after tomorrow or the day after." "Maybe for one person." "Maybe for two, but one way only." "Yeah, of course." "Which day would you like to fly?" "Tomorrow, the day after tomorrow or the day after." "Yeah." "If you like to fly tomorrow," "I will book for you." "Maybe you... can make a booking for all these flights?" "You understand?" "Maybe tomorrow, the day after tomorrow." "Thursday at the last." "Maybe for two persons, but maybe for one." "Maybe you can do it in such a way that I can change the booking when I know which day I want to fly." "Do you understand?" "And then I can cancel all the others." "Could you please repeat slowly?" "Please." "Fai's bringing this guy she met in Phuket to dinner?" "Yes." "What does he want from Fai?" " Apparently he's a nice guy." "He seems to like Thailand." "What?" "He wants to sell Fai to a brothel?" "Mama!" " Nonsense!" "Nonsense?" "I lived next to the American airport for 10 years." "You've no idea what these people are capable of." "No idea whatsoever!" "They think they can buy all the women they want." "Right?" "Are Thai women for sale?" "Mama!" "If you think all Americans can buy any Thai women they want, you watch too much TV." "And he's not American." "He's German." "Does this child have to be heartbroken once a month?" "She's a grown up, Mama." "Sure." "This foreigner is not like the others." "And it's going to snow in Thailand!" "Oh, it's snowing in Thailand." "Come eat." "Now you're mocking me." "Just you wait and see." "Look:" "You live, you die." "And after, you come back to your next life." "Okay." "Maybe I was a bad person in my past life." "Maybe I beat my wife or something." "You beat your wife?" "Maybe." "But maybe there is no self." "Then, I did not." "When there's no self, then you did not?" "Pardon, could you take our picture?" "What's happening?" "What do you do?" "This camera first." "One..." "Stop!" "Stop!" "One, two, three." "Now this camera." "One, two, three." "Thank you!" "Do Germans believe in reincarnation?" "No." "We choose between heaven and hell." "Then we stay there, I think." "And Jesus." "Is he like the Lord Buddha?" "Jesus is really important." "Maria, his mother, too." "And then she's married to Joseph." "But Joseph's not the father of Jesus because God is." "And Maria was a virgin." "She was a virgin when she had a baby?" "Yeah." "Strange story, huh?" "Yeah." "Maybe she don't want to lose his love." "Yeah, or Joseph was really stupid." "Or just loved her a lot." "Fai!" "Your grandmother told me you were here." "I'm sorry." "I'm sorry about what I said." "You're sorry?" "You said:" "Nobody wants to love an ugly, disgusting person like me." "No." "You didn't say it." "You screamed it." "The whole dorm heard you." "And now all you can say is:" "I'm sorry." "Just like that." " I didn't really mean it." "Besides, you started it." " How?" "You said I should jump off a cliff." "I was hurt." "Felix." "You've already got somebody to comfort you." "Who is he?" "You're not ashamed of anything, are you?" "I wanted to talk to you." "But I guess it's pointless." "Asshole!" "I hate him." "I hate him so much." " Why?" "He lies all the time." "When he open his mouth, lies come out." "Is he a lawyer?" "What?" " Just a joke." "Ha ha!" "Is funny?" "You think everything is funny?" " No." "I would have done everything for him." "Everything." "Before my operation, he said:" "I love you." "As long as we live." "No matter what you look like." "But after..." "In the first time of my life," "I look in the mirror, and I do not hate myself." "He said:" "I'm sorry." "I'm gay." "I cannot love a lady." "I love men." "Is funny?" "Okay." "I have to get your suit." "I will pick you up from your hotel at 5." "Sorry." "I had to wait for almost two hour." "Good day." "We are not going." "What's wrong?" " What's wrong?" "You think..." "I want my family to see you like that?" "So you can do everything, huh?" "Lie for two weeks." "Have a sex-change." "Put me in a blue suit with this disgusting yellow tie." "But I can't be a bit tipsy when I meet your family?" "You are not a bit tipsy." "You are more pissed than a pirate!" "Please." "No." "I wanna go." "I'm taking a tuk-tuk." "What?" "Felix, don't go please." "What do you want?" "I wanna go there." "What do you want?" "No." " You wanna hit me?" "You wanna hit me?" " Are you crazy?" "You don't love me." "You love him." " What?" "And you had a girlfriend, Rebecca!" "You gay fuck!" "Damn!" "Oh, God." "What happened?" "Everything's destroyed!" "How terrible!" " Felix!" "Oh, my dear!" " Mum, what are you doing here?" "I've got you back." "Are you hurt?" "You stay away from my son." "I've had enough." "Go away!" "The foreigner looked the wrong way." "He suddenly came from the wrong side." "I don't understand." " Don't worry." "Are you on something?" "This is my work." "What now?" " I forgot about driving on the left." "We go to the hospital." " No, you won't take him anywhere." "Really, enough." "You want he stay in the dirt?" " I don't want to stay in the dirt." "You're drunk." "Letting a prostitute haul you off." " She's not a prostitute." "What else would she be?" "Why else would she be with you?" "It's his fault, not mine." "I'm sorry." " You're staying right here!" "My mother says you're a prostitute." " What?" "Of course you're a prostitute." "What else?" "I don't have money." " She wants my money, not yours." "I really need a doctor now." " Hey, who's paying for the damages?" "Maybe you look down on me because I'm Asian." "No, of course not." "I work in anti-racism for years." "Ask her where we find a hospital." "Who's paying?" " You pay her." "Okay?" "The whole income for today!" "Hands off!" "Here is money." " 100 baht?" "You're joking?" "How much?" " At least this!" "1000 okay, you pay her 1000." " That's a lot." "Excuse us." "We have to go to the hospital." "She'll pay." "Here's 1000." " Unbelievable." "Here is 1000." "Thank you." "Doesn't look where he's going." "Just walks." "Crazy foreigner!" "Ow!" " We're going, please." "You foreigners think you can do whatever you want." "Everything's ruined." "Idiot!" "Please give this report and the x-ray to your doctor at home." "I'll go get images from radiology." "Great timing for this post-pubescent madness, huh?" "We should have just left you behind." "That's right." "Leave me alone." "You're so egocentric!" " Egocentric, huh?" "Flat fleet and hayfever and he needs some more Omega 3 fatty acids?" "Have you lost it?" "Do you understand what I mean?" " Sure." "Nope." "Fine." "Then I don't." "You need painkiller?" "Yes, please." "I am not a racist." "Really." "He'll be okay." "Don't worry." "You know my son, he really likes you." "Maybe you can have children, you know." "Modern fertility medicine is very advanced." "Do you want a grasshopper?" " I'm vegetarian." "Healthy." "But Germany is a cold, unfriendly country." "Your children would grow up in two different cultures." "That's difficult." "And Germany is full of Nazis." "Terrible." "Fai is like those women in the cabaret." "No way." " Yes." "And you like that?" "Yeah, I'm into it." "Let's go." "I mean... chopping yourself up like that." "It's so unnatural." "Do you see me getting a face-lift?" "Just do it." "Get a face-lift." "Are you hungry?" "No." "Octopus or fish ball?" "Stop it." "We can sit by the river." "It's full moon." "White balls of light that fly through the air?" "Why is that possible?" "The Naga live in the river." "And somehow make fireballs." "The Naga is a snake and a god." "But there must be a real explanation." "Why is the sky blue?" "Why is your skin white?" "Why am I like me?" "No answer." "Okay." "Maybe not." "Hi, it's me." "I'll be back in a week." "I'm turning 51 this year." "I've got maybe another 32 years left." "So I can spend a week under a palm tree, can't I?" "I don't know what he's up to." "It's his business." "Good." "Maybe we can visit my family tomorrow?" "No, no." "I cannot drink another bottle tomorrow." "Do you know anything about Germany?" "I know Hitler." "Oktoberfest." "Sauerkraut." "And Heidi Klum." "Would you like to know more about it?" "Can I?" "Would you?" "English translation and subtitles:" "Rick Minnich"