"Never seen so many guys take so long to move so little furniture." "It's all your records, honey." "You've gotta get rid of some." "I love those albums." "I listen to 'em all the time." "All 3,000 of 'em?" "Here, take this, sweetie." "You take care of the boxes." "I'll get dinner." "I saw a ratburger joint round the corner." " Oh, neat." " Gross!" "I wish you wouldn't call them ratburgers in front of the kids." "All right." "I'll take care of this." "You go play with your sister." "Oh, Mom." "She's a pain in the a..." "OK." "Don't play with your sister." "Just hold the fort, OK?" " And keep an eye on your sister." " I'd rather watch Star Trek." "Phasers on "dull"." "Pease porridge hot." "Pease porridge cold." "Pease porridge in the pot, nine days old." "(heavy breathing)" "Pease porridge hot." "Pease porridge cold." "Pease porridge in the pot..." "Argh!" "Wendy!" "Wendy!" "Wendy, where are you?" "(gruff voice) Pease porridge hot." "Pease porridge cold." "Pease porridge in... (boy) Wendy?" " Wendy?" " Huh?" "Wendy, are you down there?" "Wendy Anne, don't fool around." "Are you in here?" "Have you been playing with dead cats?" "OK." "OK, Wendy." "Keep hiding." "I'm gonna tell Dad and you're really gonna be in a lot of trouble." " I got you!" " Did not." " Did, too." " Mom and Dad'll be really pissed when they find out you been hiding." "I got you!" "I got you!" "(laughs)" "I got you!" " Where'd you get that?" " I found it." " Where?" " Somewhere." " Pretty." " Here we go." "I want the works." "Keep acting the way you have done, I'll give you the works." " What's that?" " (boy) It's the works." " But what's in it?" " Just eat it, honey." "It's good for ya." " But what's in it?" " Good stuff, honey." "(chews noisily)" "What a pig!" "Harry, have you been letting her read your monster magazines?" " More works." " More works what?" "More works now." "Hey, bring back those ratburgers." "(alarm bell rings)" "(ringing)" "The creep pulled the fire alarm to keep me from the ratburgers." "Ow!" "Wendy?" "Oh!" " Hello." " Sorry." " Are those creatures yours?" " Yes, sir." "I'm afraid they are." "Let me help you." "My name is Harry Potter..." "Peter Dickinson." "I live upstairs." " Ratburger!" "Ratburger!" " Wendy!" "Harry!" " Kids!" " Honey, they went that way." "That way." "You're a big help." "Grrrrr!" " Wendy Anne!" "Sweetie?" " Rrrrrr!" "Ratburgers!" "Haaaaaa!" " Harry Jr!" " (running footsteps)" " Is she rabid?" " She's excitable." "She's..." "Kids!" "That's Anne, my wife, and the little ones." "You have the distinction of owning the only children in this building." "We don't own 'em." "We just rent." "Let me give it to you straight, Harry boy." "You see, I am a single, unattached guy." "And I live upstairs, right above you." "Now, I'm into swinging." "Children having pillow fights at all hours while I'm trying to score may cause a few strikeouts, you get me, Harry boy?" " Yes, sir." " Good!" "Uh, Mr Dickinson?" " Wrong apartment." " Shit!" "Hello." " How are you doin' - (music on stereo)" "We just moved in." " Just move in?" " (Anne) Ow!" " What the hell is going on there?" " (Anne) She tried to bite me." " The kids, they're a little upset." " Got any kids?" " Hey, can you take those off?" " Huh?" " Can you take these off?" " Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah." "Fire!" " It's a false alarm." " Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah." "Lieutenant Barry Taybor." "US Marines." "Retired now." " Insurance is my battleground now." " My name's Harry Potter." " Nice to meet you, Porter." " Potter." "I review books." " What?" " I review books..." "Oh, man!" "I never read 'em." "Owned and operated by liberal scum." "They knock our president every chance they get." "Leave us wide open for the communist menace." " I did do a bit of ROTC." " All right!" "High five." " High five." " Both hands." "Hey, Duke." "Is this a false alarm or the real thing?" "Duke?" "Who's Duke?" "That's me." "A lot of people think I look like John Wayne." "It's a false alarm." "At ease, kids." "I'll tell you this much." "Fire department's really gonna be PO'd." "I wish somebody would fix that alarm." "It goes off all the time." "One time we came back real late." "We were a little drunk." " The thing went off by itself." " I remember." "Wait a minute here, pal." "I thought you told me the creep upstairs did it, huh?" " It was." " It was." "Yeah?" "OK." "OK, this is Jeannette." "Bill, this is Harry Plotter." " (Jeannette) Oh, hi." " No." "Potter." " Hi." "William." " I'm Jeannette Cooper." "Did you lose this?" " Oh, that's their dinner." " (screams) Ah!" "Ratburgers!" " Honey..." " Grrr!" " That's my daughter." " All right!" "Spirited kid." "I like that." " Hey, give me my ratburger." " Ratburger?" "I'm gonna tea..." "Hi." "This is my wife." " Have you met Malcolm?" " Who's Malcolm?" " He's an egghead." " A professor of English." " (Barry) You'd get along." "He reads papers." " (Jeannette) Sometimes even books." " (Harry) Books?" "Wow!" " He's a scholar." "Who set off the goddamn fire alarm?" " Oh, hi, Miss St Clair." " Hi." "Ma'am." "I'm sorry." "I think my kids did that." "Oh, you think so, eh?" "Somebody ought to tell that hook and ladder truck outside it's a false alarm." "I guess it might as well be me." "It's, uh... nice to meet you, Miss St Clair." " Well, I..." " (alarm stops)" "Ah!" " Well, so long." " (Wendy roars)" " Grrr!" " Wendy, don't throw that." "Honey." "You don't throw things, honey." "Listen, no..." "What the hell is going on here?" "Wendy, those are important papers." " (growling)" " Sh." "You gotta calm down, sweetie." "It's Daddy." "Ow!" " Wendy, cut that out." " Aargh!" "Wendy, it's Daddy." "It's Daddy." "I'm Godzilla!" "(manic laughter)" " You little stinker." " Raaa!" " No more monster magazines, Harry Jr." " You scared Mommy and Daddy so much." "Where did you learn to growl like that, hm?" "Stop that." "You'll ruin your appetite." " (Harry) Never ruined my appetite before." " (Anne) Would you stop that?" "Honey..." "Good morning." "You slept late." "You almost have the whole place fixed up." "You stay up all night?" " No." "The apartment fairies did it all." " Not funny, Dad." " Where's your sister?" " She's still sleeping." "(muffled rock music)" "(rock music from stereo)" "Pah pah pah pah!" "Yeah!" "Well, babe." "Was it what you expected?" " Unfortunately." " What?" "Uh..." "It was beyond what I expected." " Feel like breakfast?" " Sure." "There's some pancake mix in the kitchen." "Why don't you cook us up some?" "Why don't you... go jump in a lake?" "Good morning, sweetie." "Would you like some fresh orange juice?" "There's some in the kitchen for you." " I'm worried about that child." " Does she look feverish?" "No." "She's not." "I checked." "Her temperature's fine." "If she doesn't start acting more herself tomorrow I'll take her to the doctor." " Oh, no." " What?" "Look at this." "One less." "(gasps) Cold." "Are you all right?" "Maybe you should go back to bed." "(growls)" " (Harry) Kids, what's going on in there?" " Uh, I just tripped." "(grunts)" "(door bell)" "Couldn't get enough of me, huh, babe?" "Hello." "Well, just make yourself at home." "Look, kid, I don't have any candy and I don't play with toys." "C'mon, kid, it's Saturday." "I've got my whole day planned." "So why don't you just beat it?" "This isn't a playground." " (laughs)" " Hee-hee." "I don't play hide-and-go-seek, either." "(laughter)" "Now, look." "Enough is enough." " Now I got ya." " (growls)" "Holy shit." "No!" "Argh!" "(grunting and snorting)" "Argh!" "No!" "Argh!" "No!" "Argh!" "(screaming)" "(groaning)" "Oh." "Oh." "(chuckles)" "(gurgling)" "(squelching)" "Mm." " Ooh!" " (cracking)" "Ah." "Ahh." "(chuckles)" " (birds sing)" " Mm." "Eeeeh." "Ah." "(growling)" "(belches)" "Well, what do you want, short stuff?" " Have you seen my sister?" " No." "Oh, good." "Can I come in?" "I think I'm gonna throw up." "How could I resist an offer like that?" "The bathroom's on the right." "(grunting and gurgling)" "(mewing)" " Not bad, eh?" " (squeals)" "(toilet flushes)" "(squeals)" " Well, did you pop your cookies?" " No." "False alarm." "Then there's no reason for you to stay, is there?" "Oh, I don't wanna go right now, if it's OK with you." "Doesn't make any difference to me." "I'll pretend you're not here." "Thanks." "I feel safe here." "You're sounding like a ninny." "What the hell have you got to be afraid of?" "I don't know." "Keep talking like that, you'll become an adult." " Is all this stuff yours?" " Of course it is." "I live here, don't I?" "Oh, yeah." "What do you do?" "Anything I damn well please." "My name's Harry Potter Jr." "I just moved into this building." "I don't have any friends here." "My sister's going weird on me." "I don't know why." "Strange things are happening." "I'm really scared." "Eunice St Clair." "Knock before you come in." "The door is always open." "(tyres screech)" "You should be more careful." "You might try being a little more polite, too." "Are you an elf?" "No." "I just resemble one." " Why?" "Do you believe in elves?" " Oh, yes." "Oh." "Well, then, perhaps I might be one after all." "Where do you live?" "In there." " Well, so do I. What's your name?" " Wendy Anne." "Malcolm Malory." "Glad to meet you, Wendy Anne." "Come along." "Your parents are probably wondering where you are." "Yes, brother elf." "(dramatic music on TV)" "You call that a dragon?" "(Anne) Harry?" "Harry, think you can tear yourself away from that and go down the store for me?" "Hello?" "Wendy's having a friend for dinner." "I need milk." " Sure." " Maybe she'd like to go with you?" "No, no, no." "I don't mind going by myself." "Don't be silly." "Wendy?" "(grunts)" "Honey?" "Didn't you hear Mommy calling you, honey?" " No, Mommy." " Well, Mommy's baking a cake." "Harry's going to the store to get milk." "You want to go?" "No, I think I'd rather stay here and play." "OK." "(groans)" "Ah." " Mom, what's the matter with Wendy?" " What do you mean?" "She's... she's different." " Why do you say that?" " She's just not acting right." "I think it's the new apartment." "We ought to give her a little time." " Yeah." "I'd call a doctor." " Well, you worry too much, Harry." "(mimics Anne) You worry too much, Harry." " Ooh!" " Hey hey!" "How's it going, champ?" "Weird kid." "Probably reads a lot." "("Summertime Blues" by Blue Cheer plays on stereo)" "Well, Lord, I got to raise a fuss Oh, I gotta raise a holler" "I've been a-working all summer just to try to earn a dollar" "(mimes) Sometimes I wonder what I'm a-gonna do" "Lord, there ain't no cure for the summertime blues" "Harry." "Oh, well my mom and poppa told me "Son, you gotta make some money"" "Honey." "" Well, if you wanna use the car to go a-ridin' next Sunday"" "Well, Lord, I didn't go to work I told the boss I was sick" "Sometimes I wonder what I'm a-gonna do" "Lord, there ain't no cure for the summertime blues" "Well." "Hello, there." "Hey." "So, you must be Har... (laughs)" " You must be, uh..." "Harry's daughter." " Right." " What can I do for you?" " I need some advice." "Oh, well, then you have come to the right guy." "Uncle Duke has seen about everything that there is to see, little missy." "He's been around the world dozens of times and has stared death right in the face." "What does it look like?" "What?" "What does death look like?" "Well, hell, I don't know." "Kind of, um... hard to explain." " You're too young to understand, anyway." " I understand." "Oh, you do?" "Do you?" " I know what death looks like." " That's good." "What's it look like?" "It looks something like this." "(growls)" "Jesus!" "Argh!" "What are you?" "What the hell are you?" "Oh." "(growls)" "No." "(screams)" "(screaming)" "Mom!" "Dad!" "(drum solo plays on stereo)" " Dad!" "Mom!" " (knocking on door)" "(growls)" "(laughs)" "(music stopped)" "(giggles)" "Hi, honey." "I'm just doin' my aerobics." "Why are you staring at me like that?" " Oh, Harry fell down outside and..." " What?" "Harry fell down outside and he went to sleep." "Harry?" "Oh, my God." "(groans)" "(snorts)" " What happened?" " He fainted." " Is he feverish?" " No." "I don't think so." "I just don't understand any of this." " Harry?" " Honey?" "(growls)" " You sure you're all right?" " All systems go, sir." "Your warp factor seemed a little pooped just now." "I'll be OK, Dad." "Take it easy and Mom will bring in some food." " Dad?" " Yeah?" "Do me a favour." "Don't let Wendy in, OK?" " Why?" " I mean, if I'm sick or anything..." "I don't want her to catch it." " She's just a kid, you know?" " All right." "You got it." "Yeah." "You look pretty." "What time did you tell your friend to come?" " Seven, Mom." " What's his name?" " Malcolm." " (knock on door)" "Wanna help me set the table?" "Hm?" "Hi, I'm Malcolm Malory." "Hello." "Come on in." " Pleased to meet you, Mr Potter." " I'm sorry." "My name is Harry." "How do you do?" " Honey!" " Is Wendy's little friend here yet?" "Yes, he is." "Oh..." " Hi." "I'm sorry." "Wendy didn't tell me." " Children seldom do, Mrs Potter." " Please call me Anne." " Malcolm!" "Hello, Wendy." "Uh..." " As much as I love chocolate milk..." " Thank you." "Malcolm, you want a quick one before dinner?" "Sure, uh, gin and tonic will be fine, Harry." "You're..." "You're..." " Professor of English." " Oh." "You can forget the milk, honey." "He's into gin and tonics." "I brought a note from my mother." "That's very good." "(chuckling)" "Blues Magoos, wow." "Haven't seen one of those in years." "Well, don't tell anyone about it." "It'll show my age." "So, where's your little boy?" "Wendy tell me she has an older brother." "Harry Jr?" "He had a fainting spell today and he's in sleeping." " Nothing serious, I hope." " I hope not." "Maybe it's just the excitement of the move." "There you go, Malcolm." " Thank you." " Cheers." "Cheers." "That isn't Spot our pet, Nancy." "That's something that looks like Spot, acts like Spot, even smells like Spot, but in reality it's a Martian." " You mean...?" " Yes." "Our dog is a pod person from the planet Mars." "Actually, after I got my degree, I wound up travelling with the circus for a while." "They needed a person to do some clown gags." "I was good at acrobatics." "Pay was good." "Seemed like fun, so..." "I wanted to run away with the circus when I was a kid." " You did?" "Me, too." " Really?" "Mm..." "Maybe not run away." "Maybe visit for a while." " Read to us, Malcolm." " Maybe your parents wouldn't..." " You promised." " What's she got you roped into, Malcolm?" "She's asked me to recite a long piece." " What?" " The Faerie Queene." "Heady stuff, squirt." "Not surprising." "Her father's a great writer." "Well, not a great writer, but..." " We're ready when you are, Malcolm." " (clears throat) Now, remember." " This was written a long time ago." " We know!" "We know." "(clears throat)" ""A gentle knight was riding across the plain, all clad in mighty arms and silver shield, wherein old dints and deep wounds did remain the cruel marks of many a bloody field."" ""Yet armies till that time did he never wield."" ""His angry steed did chide his foaming bit."" "(singing and chanting in troll language)" ""Upon a great adventure he was bound, that fairest Gloriana to him gave."" ""The greatest, glorious queen of Fairyland."" "(angelic singing)" "(singing and chanting)" "(sings in troll language)" "(growls)" "(singing continues)" ""Now, when that idle dream was to him brought unto that elfin knight he bade him fly where he slept soundly, void of evil thought and with false shews abuse his fantasy."" "(squawks)" "Oh, Galwyn." "It's starting again." "(trolls sing and chant)" "(horn)" "(coughs and splutters)" "Are you all right?" "Arms up." "(chanting stops)" "Well, I guess that ought to give those little suckers something to think about." "That may look like your canary Tweetie, my dear, but it's not Tweetie." "It may sing like Tweetie." "It may moult like Tweetie." "It may even eat seed like Tweetie, but it's an alien." " You mean...?" " Yes." "Your canary is a pod person from the planet Mars." " Feeling better?" " Sure, Dad." "Morning, sweetie." " Morning, Wendy." " Hi, honey." "Hey, that's mine." "Now it's mine." " Wendy, give Harry back his juice." " No." "Give Harry back his juice." "Mommy will pour you some." "No." "Wendy, listen to your mother." "Wendy Anne!" " That is a very bad girl." " Wendy, go to your room." "But I'm hungry." "(Anne) Wendy..." " Wendy Anne, you're going to your room." " (growls)" " Honey, it's only a little juice." " No, Dad." "No." "It's OK." "She's probably just not feeling good, remember?" "The move?" "I don't care about the juice." "Anyways, I promised Miss St Clair I'd eat with her." " Are you all right?" " Yeah, I'm fine." " You sure?" " Yeah." "Harry?" "(jazz playing)" "(knock on door)" "(Galwyn sings along)" "(stops singing)" "Come in, Harry." " Hi, Eunice." " Hello." " How did you know it was me?" " I recognised the knock." "It's prepubescent." "Eunice..." "Why are you here?" " I don't get you." " You're different, aren't you?" " Oh, yes." "I like to think I am." " No, not like that." "Look at all this stuff." "It's not normal." "It's all the things a kid would have." " An adult wouldn't need stuff..." " I like all this stuff." "I've had it for years." "Hundreds, I bet." "You're fishing, kid." " Eunice, are you a witch?" " What of it?" "Why are you here?" "I'm here because I have to be." "(door bell)" " Just a second." " (door bell)" " Just a sec." " Hi." "Do you like flowers?" " Yeah." " These are for you." "I picked them myself." " Wow!" "Thanks, they're beautiful." " So are you." "Thanks." " I'm Wendy Anne." "I live downstairs." " I'm Jeannette." "That's right." " Can I get you something to drink?" " Nope." "Oh, be careful with that." "It's breakable." "Be careful." " This was you?" " Uh-huh." "I was about your age then." "You were pretty." "Thanks." "I think." " Beauty fades with age." " What?" " This is your suitor?" " (laughs) No!" "That's my boyfriend." "His name's William." "Yes, I know." "I've got an audition today and I've got a lot to do, so, um... if you wanna hang around you can." "I'll be right in here." " How'd you become a witch?" " I was a princess." "And that seemed a pretty dull thing to be to me." " A real princess?" " No, a phoney one." "Of course a real princess." "Anyway, I fell in love with a handsome young wizard named Torok." "Since we were to be married, I thought it'd be good to have something in common." "So I studied magic with a great old man named Galwyn." " I was a pretty good student, too." " (squeaks)" " Can you teach me to be a magician?" " I could." "But I don't think I'm gonna have the time." " Why not?" "You going somewhere?" " I don't know, kiddo." "I just don't know." " You cook good pancakes." " Thank you." " They're made from nosey kids." " (squeaks) Yeah, right." "Uh-oh!" "Uh, how is your sister?" " She's not my sister." " What do you mean?" "I figured it out." "She looks like my sister." "She acts like my sister." "She even sounds like my sister, but..." "But?" "She's an alien." "It's like she's a pod person from the planet Mars." "No." "Close." "But no cigar." "(yawns)" "Oh, mmm..." "(giggles)" "When did you first notice that your sister was behaving strangely?" "The day we moved in, which was Friday." "Ah, Friday." "Yes." "That's when it all would have started." " Do you know what day Friday was?" " Uh..." "Star Trek weekend on Channel 11?" "Walpurgis Night." "Witches' Sabbath." "The day when all the denizens of the unknown cavort." " Cavort?" " Party hearty, Harry." "Party hearty, Harry." "Oh, all right." " Harry, this is Galwyn." " (squeaks)" "Galwyn, this is Harry Potter Jr." " It's a mushroom." " I told you I was a good student." "Huh!" "He's seen better days." "(blows raspberry)" "Now, this whole transformation takes about 72 hours." " So we really don't have much time left." " We don't?" "Harry, your sister isn't an alien." " She's something much worse." " What is she?" "We don't have time to chat about that now." "I'll tell you later." "But for now, go to your apartment and keep an eye on your sister." "Every adult in the world tells me to do that." "Well, I'm one adult who has a good reason to tell you to do that." "Now go on." "Shoo." "(heavy breathing)" "(jolly whistling)" "Jeannette." "Hey!" "Jeannette." "Hello?" " Jeannette?" " (knocking)" "Jeannette!" " You need any help?" " Hi." "You must be the professor." "I'm William." "I've heard a lot about you." "Nice to meet you." "What seems to be the problem?" "It's no problem, really." "She was supposed to meet me a half an hour ago to play volleyball." " But she never showed up." " That doesn't sound like her." "No, it doesn't." "I was getting a little worried, to tell the truth." "Hello?" " Seems like no one's home." " I'll try the bell again." "(door bell)" "Jeannette!" "Hey!" "Hello?" " Jeannette?" " (knocking)" " (piercing scream)" " Ah!" "Oh!" " What's the matter?" " I don't know." "I just got a migraine or somethin' like I got hit with a softball." " You want some aspirin or something?" " No." "No." "Thanks." "I'll be OK." "Thanks anyway." "OK." "If you need to use the phone or anything, I'm right down the hall." "OK." "Thanks a lot." "Appreciate it." "See ya." "Jeannette!" "Jeannette?" "Hey, Jeannette?" "Hello?" " (giggling)" " Jeannette?" "Hey!" "Jeannette!" "Hello?" "(whoosh)" "(giggling)" "(whoosh)" "(laughter)" "Mm." "(mutters)" "Hi, Malcolm." "Hi, Wendy." "Feelin' better today?" "Yeah." "Thanks." "Why are you standing in the hall?" "I've locked myself out of my apartment and I can't seem to find my keys." "Well, the door's not locked, silly." "See?" "Look." " Um, would you like some juice?" " Yes, thank you." "OK." " Orange or apple?" " Um... apple." " I like your house, Malcolm." " Thank you." "You seem to be at peace with the world around you." "What?" "Oh, nothing." "I said it looks neat." "Thanks." "Are you OK?" " Sure, hon." " You're fibbing." "A little." " You're real sick, aren't you?" " Does it show?" " No, but I can tell." " I bet you can." "Yes." "I'm sick." "And getting sicker every day, so the x-rays say." " What's wrong?" " Oh, it's complicated." "Bone marrow and yucky stuff." "Doctors have their big names for it." "If you ask me, this old body's just worn out." "You're gonna die?" "Looks that way." "Hey." "Want me to draw you a picture?" "But you can't die, Malcolm." "You're too special." "It's OK." "I was getting a little tired of this old body anyway." "Now." "Do you want straight or floppy ears on this bunny?" "Oh, um... floppy." "Malcolm?" "Remember when I asked you if you were an elf?" "Mm-hm." "Did you ever want to be?" "(chuckles)" "I did, actually." "When I was about your age, in fact." "Maybe a little older." "Doctors were talking to my parents about recessive genes." "I thought they were talking about pants." "It's funny what you think about when you're a child." "(sighs)" "I just didn't understand what was happening." "My parents told me, " Malcolm, you're just not going to grow any more."" "I thought, " Wouldn't it be wonderful if all this was happening to me because I was magic?"" ""And not because I was sick."" "I used to sit in my bedroom and daydream... and wish that I'd wake up the next morning in a land filled with... unicorns and dragons and flying horses." "And special people, just like I was." "I kept on waiting for that to happen." "I kept on waiting." "Hm." " Miss Cooper?" "Miss Cooper!" " (giggling)" " Are you in there?" " (giggling)" "(all coo) Oh, "Miss Cooper"!" "Oh, no, dammit." "I'm too late." "Mr Dickinson?" " Mr Dickinson, are you awake?" " (knocking)" "(sighs)" "Barry?" "Barry, are you in there?" "Duke?" "Anybody home?" "Hello, there, Miss St Clair." " Are we having a problem?" " Does it look as though I have a problem?" "No, you're looking for whales to harpoon, right?" " You must be Harry's father." " That's right." " Explains his interest in monster movies." " (gasps and laughs)" "You should have seen me before I shaved." " Have you seen Jungle Jim lately?" " Duke?" "I haven't seen him since Friday." " Oh, dammit." " What's the matter?" "What's the matter?" "Everybody in the building is just disappearing, one by one." "Well, it is the weekend." "Do you know what day it was when they dropped the bomb on Hiroshima?" " It was on a weekend, right?" " I don't know." "But it would be interesting to find out, wouldn't it?" " (Anne) Who was that?" " The Wicked Witch of the West." "Honey, uh, have we unpacked the encyclopaedia yet?" "Second shelf." " Harry, what are you doing?" " Waiting for Wendy." " Why?" " Because it's my job to watch her." "You're carrying the big brother bit too far." "Dad, she's worse than a pod person." "She's a monster." "She may look like Wendy." "She may act like Wendy." "She may even dress like Wendy, but she's something else." "Honey!" "Did you do a lot of drugs before we met?" "Professor Malory?" "(knocking)" " Professor Malory, are you all right?" " (growls)" "(whimpers)" "Welcome, brother elf." "Oh!" "It's a great dinner, Mom." "Yes, sir." "A great dinner." "Thank you, dear." "Harry, you're not eating your dinner." "I am." " I love family life." " Uh, honey?" "Harry, can you get me some coffee?" "Take your eye off your sister for a second." " Sure, Dad." " Just bring the pot over here." "Oh, my God!" "Ice." " You OK?" " Yeah." "What happened, Harry?" " You know." " How, when I don't even know?" " Let me see." " I'm fine." " Where does it hurt?" " She does know, Dad." "Believe me, she does." "(cackling)" "(growling) Eunice..." "Eunice..." "Buzz off, you little creeps." "(heavy breathing)" "Ah." "Night-night." "(jungle noise)" "(wind howls)" "Oh, Harry." "Oh!" "There's some hot cocoa and a sweet roll in the kitchen." " How did you know I was coming?" " You told your parents, didn't you?" "I don't hang out with liars." "Why don't you sit down?" "I saw Wendy last night like she really is, not when she's Wendy." "Oh, you did, did you?" "It was horrible." "It had a beaky nose, long nasty nails." "She looked just like that, didn't she?" "Yeah." "How d'you know?" "That, Harry my boy, is a troll." "Or, more specifically, Torok the troll." "(whines)" " What's a troll?" " Oh, a... a fairy of sorts." "Mean." "Very strong." " Look at that." " Isn't that you?" "Yes." "It's me." "And that was Torok." " Wasn't Torok?" " Can the chatter and listen up." "There." "Now, before there were countries, before there were presidents, there was just the world, one big place." "And in this place, there were fairies and there were humans." "The leaders of both kingdoms decided that no side would rule the other." "The kingdoms would be equally divided between the two of them." "But that didn't set well with Torok and some of the fairies." "They wanted to control the world, so there was a great big war." "The good humans won." "The rebel fairies were condemned to darkness." " And Torok was turned into a troll." " Yes." "For all eternity." "But now he has vowed his revenge." "He still wants to rule the world with his army." "That's why he's here." " And that's why you're here." "To stop him." " That's my job, kiddo." "But what is he doing here?" "I'm not quite sure, but I think that he's going from apartment to apartment." "He's transforming sections of this building into different fairy worlds." "And when he has succeeded in transforming them all, a single fairy universe will be formed within this building." "It'll be filled with all his old fairy pals, and when that's done, that universe will burst forth, like a fourth dimension." " What about Wendy?" " She's alive somewhere." " How can you be sure?" " When Torok wipes out humanity, he will save one token specimen." "A fair-haired maiden, and she will serve as the princess of the fairies." "Listen up, kid." "We're getting right down to the wire here." "Torok has just three days in which to complete his universe, or else he misses his cosmic chance." "He's running out of time and apartments." "There are two pieces of the puzzle left - my apartment and yours." " Here." " Ooh!" "Plunge this weapon deep into the heart of Torok's universe." " Where can I find that?" " Torok's always been melodramatic." "So just look for the biggest, most powerful creature you can find." "It'll be mean, it'll be ugly and it will not be glad to see you." "(gulps)" " See ya." " Ah." "I hope so, Harry." "I hope so." "Torok!" "You harm one hair on Harry's head and I'll make your life a living hell for all eternity." "All right, my love." "Once more, for old times' sake." "Harry, what are you doing?" " Waiting." " For what?" " A stray dragon." " Oh." "Well, that's..." "Oh, stop it!" "There." "That's more like it." "All right, Torok." "Show yourself." "It's Eunice." "Your dear Eunice." "Where are all your little friends, Torok?" "Are they hiding from me, too?" "(roars)" "Damn." "I should have known." "Oh." "Ohh... (roars)" "(snuffling and growling)" "Ohh!" "Whoa!" "Damn!" "All right." "If it's a fight you want, it's a fight you'll get." "(growling and snorting)" "Eunice." "Eunice!" "Eunice, are you OK?" "Argh!" "(Eunice) All right, kiddo." "It's up to you now." "Don't blow it." "Eunice!" "No!" "Go on." "Get in there and save your sister." " (growling)" " What was that?" "(troll laughter)" "(jungle sounds)" "(laughing and snorting)" "Honey..." "Shut that damn door." "He can't take over if you keep him out of your home." "What is going on out there?" "I don't know, but I'm listening to the tree." "(woman croons) Harry Potter Jr." "(voices join in) Harry Potter Jr." " Harry Potter Jr!" " (laughter)" " Harry Potter Jr!" "Harry Potter Jr!" " (laughter)" "(groaning)" "(growling)" "Wendy." "Wendy." "Ow!" "Wendy." "Wendy." " (roaring)" " Oh!" "Oh, God." "(growls)" "Harry!" "Harry!" "Ahh!" "Oh, my God!" "Go!" "(groans)" "No, no!" "Not the girl!" " No!" " Harry!" "(groans)" "Run!" " Dad!" "Mom!" "Open the door!" " (knocking)" "(mutters)" " Huh?" " Gotcha!" "(laughs)" "(sirens)" "Hey!" "You did pretty good in there - for a human." "Station's down Main Street." " They'll fill out your report there." " Uh-huh." "OK." "That's all." "Show's over." "All right, everybody." "Let's move along now." "Let's go." "Break it up." "Let's go home." " What do you think happened here?" " Nothing." "Someone probably had their stereo on too loud." "One of those kids." " Place sure looks normal." " Hm." "Let's play it safe." "I'll check this side of the building out." "Right." "(wind howls)" "(chokes)" "(growling)" "Visiontext Subtitles:" "Fran Welland"